Podcasts about overparenting trap

Chip Leighton is a comic and the creator and host of The Leighton Show, a social media platform with more than 1.5 million followers and 250 million views. His comedy focuses on funny relationship and parenting moments with teenagers and he's recently published a book based on them called What Time Is Noon? For several decades he was a marketing leader in the corporate world and then left that life to focus his time on The Leighton Show. His work has been featured in the NY Times, national television and various other print outlets. He's a husband and the father of two kids who are, or used to be, teenagers. We discussed:* How he started out his career and transitioned to social media and comedy* His kids reaction to having an unemployed, middle-aged TikToker for a dad* The story behind What Time Is Noon?* What readers can expect from his book (and life with teenagers)* How his work as a creator influences his own communication with his kids* Why humor is so important as a parent* The parenting community around his 1.5 million social media followers* Becoming a standup comic at age 50Where to find Chip Leighton* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_leighton_show/* TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_leighton_show* Website: https://theleightonshow.com/Where to find Adam Fishman* FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/_In this episode, we cover:[1:56] Welcome[2:38] Earlier career[3:42] Transition from corporate to social media[4:52] Conversation(s) with his wife over career change[6:28] Chip's book - What Time Is Noon?[8:52] His childhood[10:38] How did you meet your wife?[11:42] Highlights from What Time Is Noon?[13:50] Did his career change impact his communication with kids?[14:53] Why is humor so important as a parent?[16:01] Advice to younger Chip[18:26] Advice to ignore[20:00] Community of parents around his social media presence[21:00] Early social media efforts[24:28] Creator burnout[26:20] Has this given you more flexibility?[27:41] Does he negotiate with family on sharing content?[29:45] Hypothetical second book topic[34:18] Kid's reaction to stand up[34:59] Where do he and his wife disagree?[36:05] Mistakes as a dad[37:10] Where to follow along[37:59] Lightning round[47:23] Thank you—Show references:Chip's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chip-leighton-1497943/TikTok: @the_leighton_showInstagram: the_leighton_showFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/theleightonshowLeighton Show website: https://theleightonshow.com/What Time is Noon: https://theleightonshow.com/book/Carla Naumburg's Episodes: https://youtu.be/qcrzFhbeIVs and https://youtu.be/YiaE6ZmaOIQGillian Mackenzie Agency: https://www.gmalit.com/Stride Rite Shoes: https://www.striderite.com/Caroline Rhea: https://carolinerhea.com/How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-raise-an-adult-julie-lythcott-haims/1120327547Baby Bjorn: https://www.babybjorn.com/The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: https://press.hulu.com/shows/the-secret-lives-of-mormon-wives/The Shield: https://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/the-shieldBrooklyn 99: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2467372/New Balance shoes: https://www.newbalance.com/What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-5th-edition-heidi-murkoff/1131825672Barney: www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VcHbf8Kz0cBarbie Dream House: https://shop.mattel.com/products/barbie-dreamhouse-playset-grg93ET: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083866/_For sponsorship inquiries email: podcast@fishmana.com.For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.comProduction support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

We can bring our strengths to making some changes for our health and well-being. I'll tell you about some clients and listeners who are using one particular strength to change their trajectories, and I'll introduce an expert in this superpower as well!   LET'S TALK THE WALK! Facebook Group for Our Community! Join here for support, motivation and fun! Wellness While Walking Facebook page Wellness While Walking on Instagram Wellness While Walking on Twitter Wellness While Walking website for show notes and other information wellnesswhilewalking@gmail.com     RESOURCES AND SOURCES (some links may be affiliate links) CURIOSITY IS A SUPERPOWER Straight to It with Charlie Zeitlin Podcast On Apple Podcasts On Spotify Good Energy, Dr. Casey Means (Check out the table of contents for the book, and let me know if you'd want to do a virtual book club with me on this book!) WWW Episode 146: Health Documentaries Demystified WWW Episode 241: Don't Sit and Wait for Type 2 Diabetes and What to Do Instead How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, Julie Lythcott-Haims Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, Chris Voss HOW TO RATE AND REVIEW WELLNESS WHILE WALKING How to Leave a Review on Apple Podcasts on Your iOS Device 1.   Open Apple Podcast App (purple app icon that says Podcasts). 2.   Go to the icons at the bottom of the screen and choose “search” 3.   Search for “Wellness While Walking” 4.   Click on the SHOW, not the episode. 5.   Scroll all the way down to “Ratings and Reviews” section 6.   Click on “Write a Review” (if you don't see that option, click on “See All” first) 7.   Then you will be able to rate the show on a five-star scale (5 is highest rating) and write a review! 8.   Thank you! I so appreciate this!   How to Leave a Review on Apple Podcasts on a Computer  1.   Visit Wellness While Walking page on Apple Podcasts in your web browser (search for Apple Podcasts or click here)  https://www.apple.com/apple-podcasts/ 2.   Click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” or “Open the App” 3.   This will open Apple Podcasts and put in search bar at top left “Wellness While Walking” 4.   This should bring you to the show, not a particular episode – click on the show's artwork 5.   Scroll down until you see “Rating and Reviews” 6.   Click on “See All” all the way to the right, near the Ratings and Review Section and its bar chart 7.   To leave a written review, please click on “Write a Review” 8.   You'll be able to leave a review, along with a title for it, plus you'll be able to rate the show on the 5-star scale (with 5 being the highest rating) 9.   Thank you so very much!! OTHER APPS WHERE REVIEWS ARE POSSIBLE Spotify Castbox Podcast Addict Podchaser Podbean Overcast (if you star certain episodes, or every one, that will help others find the show)  Goodpods   HOW TO SHARE WELLNESS WHILE WALKING Tell a friend or family member about Wellness While Walking, maybe while you're walking together or lamenting not feeling 100% Follow up with a quick text with more info, as noted below! (My favorite is pod.link/walking because it works with all the apps!) Screenshot a favorite episode playing on your phone and share to social media or to a friend via text or email! Wellness While Walking on Apple – click the up arrow to share with a friend via text or email, or share to social media Wellness While Walking on Spotify -- click the up arrow to share with a friend via text or email, or share to social media Use this universal link for any podcast app: pod.link/walking – give it to friends or share on social media Tell your pal about the Wellness While Walking website Thanks for listening and now for sharing! : )       DISCLAIMER Neither I nor many of my podcast guests are doctors or healthcare professionals of any kind, and nothing on this podcast or associated content should be considered medical advice. The information provided by Wellness While Walking Podcast and associated material, by Whole Life Workshop and by Bermuda Road Wellness LLC is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment, and before undertaking a new health care regimen, including walking.     Thanks for listening to Wellness While Walking, a walking podcast and a "best podcast for walking"!          

Julie Lythcott-Haims — New York Times bestselling author, TED speaker, former Stanford dean, and lawyer — is here to share her wisdom with us on living an authentic life, the impact of helicopter parenting (and how we can break free of this trap, should we choose to become parents), and her experiences as a mom of two adult children. Hear her and Keltie discuss: The importance of defining one's unique path in life — and how we can break free of the pressures that surround us. Julie's personal path to motherhood — including its challenges and rewards. What Julie is seeing and hearing from young people about the decision to have kids or not. The danger of today's culture of intensive parenting — and how we can choose to do things differently. Why couples should and can prioritize their own well-being, and take time for themselves to maintain a healthy relationship.  The challenges of maintaining friendships when one person becomes a parent — and the different values and priorities that can arise. The profound learning experience of having children. ...and so much more! As mentioned in the show: Find Julie online at julielythcotthaims.com. X: x.com/jlythcotthaims Instagram: instagram.com/jlythcotthaims Facebook: facebook.com/jlythcotthaims/ Julie's books: Real American: A Memoir How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success Your Turn: How to Be an Adult About Julie: Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. Her work encompasses writing, speaking, public service, and activism. She is a New York Times bestselling author of books on human development, a TED speaker, a former Stanford dean, and a lawyer, and she holds degrees from Stanford University (BA), Harvard Law (JD), and California College of the Arts (MFA). She serves on numerous nonprofit boards whose work focuses on equity, education, youth, wellness, and the arts. Julie lives in Palo Alto, California with her partner of over thirty years, their itinerant young adults, and her mother. She is a member of the Palo Alto City Council. __ Get the details on my Clarity Booster coaching offer here.  Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

In today's world teenagers are expected to excel in every aspect of their lives—academics, extracurriculars, work, and more. Parents want more than anything for their children to succeed so they often take on a lot of the responsibility and stress themselves. But perhaps we need to take a pause for a moment and question what we mean by success. Could this hyper-focus on achievement actually be hindering rather than helping our children thrive. In this episode Dr. Cam is thrilled to have Julie Lythcott-Haims with us. She sparks a national dialogue challenging conventional parenting wisdom in her acclaimed book, "How to Raise an Adult," and her TED Talk, "How to Raise Successful Kids—Without Overparenting," boasting over 7 million views (many of which are Dr. Cam's!) Feeling lost in the sea of parenting advice? Wish you had a supportive community to navigate the ups and downs of raising happy, thriving teens? **Introducing Thriving Parent Academy! ** This online community equips YOU with the tools and knowledge to: ⭐ Foster strong parent-teen relationships ⭐Set clear boundaries and expectations ⭐ Navigate attitude and meltdowns with confidence ⭐ Raise kind, responsible humans   Join our amazing community of parents and: ⭐ Connect with like-minded individuals who "get it" ⭐ Learn from me through exclusive laser coaching sessions and master classes ⭐ Get personalized support and guidance tailored to your unique needs Stop feeling overwhelmed and start thriving! Limited spots available! Enroll now at thrivingparent.org. P.S. Share with any parent friends who might benefit!

There are so many parenting styles — attachment, helicopter, positive, peaceful, authoritarian, authoritative, and on and on. And those of us parenting neurodivergent kids know there is no one-size-fits-all approach for navigating the day-to-day, even when our big picture goal is similar — to raise children who grow up to know themselves deeply and are prepared to live self-actualized lives, whatever that may look like for them. So I really loved learning about the focus of Dr. Emily Edlynn's work on autonomy-supportive parenting, which she defines as “raising our children to understand their authentic selves, including developing self-respect, self-worth, behaving by values, the ability to self-govern, and feeling a sense of volition, or control over choices and actions.” She explains how to do this in her new book, Autonomy Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, and that's what we get into in today's show. During this conversation, we talk about the ways in which autonomy-supportive parenting nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness, which are actually the three needs that must be met according to self-determination theory, what “controlling parenting” is and how it can have negative effects on a child's well-being, and how to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a neurodivergent child or a child who is experiencing mental health challenges. We also discussed what keeps parents from adopting autonomy supportive parenting and how to navigate it when one's partner isn't on the same page in terms of parenting approach. About Dr. Emily Edlynn Dr. Emily Edlynn is a clinical psychologist, author, mother of three, and co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. She pens the regular parenting advice column, Ask Your Mom, for Parents.com, has written for national outlets such as Washington Post, Scary Mommy, and Motherly, and has been featured as an expert across parenting articles in outlets such as the New York Times, CNN, and BBC. Emily works with children, teens, and families as the Director of Pediatric Behavioral Medicine at a private practice in Oak Park, IL. She lives in Oak Park with her endlessly supportive partner, three opinionated and charming children, and two rescue dogs. Emily's new book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children is out now.   Things you'll learn: Autonomy supportive parenting (ASP) is a science-based approach that nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness What “controlling parenting” is and why it can have negative effects on a child's well-being How ASP can be applied to neurodivergent kids by providing external structure and scaffolding while still promoting their sense of agency How to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a child with mental health challenges What gets in the way of parents embracing ASP How to navigate it when one's partner isn't on the same page in terms of parenting approach   Resources mentioned: Dr, Emily Edlynn's website Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children by Dr. Emily Edlynn Emily Edlynn's free newsletter on Substack Emily on Instagram Emily on LinkedIn All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims Julie Lythcott-Haims on Helping Differently Wired Kids Launch (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the basics of codependency. Codependency in relationships refers to a dynamic where one person enables or supports negative behaviors in their partner, sacrificing their own well-being for the sake of the relationship. This can lead to a cycle of dysfunction where both partners become overly reliant on each other, leading to unhealthy codependent behaviors such as neglecting personal responsibilities, making decisions based on the needs of the relationship rather than individual needs, and a lack of personal boundaries. Ultimately, codependency can lead to feelings of resentment, low self-esteem, and a decreased ability to function in healthy relationships. To learn more, take a listen to this episode and you can also refer to these book's recommended by Jamie, Codependent No More, How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie https://amzn.to/3jiPUwY and How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims https://amzn.to/3Ri6wBkWe hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)Join us on  Facebook :https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/ Follow  us on Instagram:@thedavenportpodcast About  Jamie and Guy:Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguySupport the show

Our Body Politic joined KPCC's Public Radio Palooza for a special live taping featuring Farai in discussion with Dr. Safiya U. Noble, Professor of Gender Studies and African American Studies at UCLA, board member of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, and author of Algorithms of Oppression: How Search Engines Reinforce Racism, about how to address inequities caused by the tech industry. Farai also interviews Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times best-selling author of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success and Palo Alto councilmember about her goals to address wealth disparity and community displacement. We also feature live performances by singer-songwriter, Monica Martin, who opens up about her journey to becoming a musician.

It's tempting to tie a child's shoe lace, tidy their rooms or help with their science projects - to see that these tasks are done right - but parents are depriving their kids of the valuable experience of falling, failing, and f-ing up.  Formed Stanford dean Julie Lythcott-Haims says these "f words" are vital for children if they are to grow into happy, capable and autonomous adults. While Yale psychologist Julia Leonard warns that interfering too often in a child's life can actually teach them that trying isn't even worth the effort.       Further reading: Michaeleen Doucleff - Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy Helpful Humans.  Julie Lythcott-Haims - How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Marty Seligman - Authentic Happiness See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My guest for this episode is the brilliant Julie Lythcott-Haims., the author of the New York Times' bestselling, and in my opinion, majorly game-changing-in-the-parenting-space book, How to Raise an Adult. She wrote it after noticing that prospective college students at Stanford University, where she was dean of admissions, were being over-parented and as a result, were lacking the resources to develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.In this episode, Julie and I talk about about what it takes for a child to be successful—looking at how we define success along the way—and explore what we as parents can do to help our child develop the agency they need to become self-actualized adults. I loved having this conversation with Julie and am still noodling on the many takeaways and aha moments I experienced. I hope you get a lot out of it. Julie Lythcott-Haims' How to Raise an Adult has been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top TED Talks of 2016 with over 3.5 million views and counting, as well as a forthcoming sequel on how to be an adult, for young adults. Two years later Julie published Real American: A Memoir, a critically-acclaimed and award-winning memoir which examines racism through her experience as a Black and biracial person. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat is at the root of fear-based parentingWhy Julie says most parents are raising kids from a place of love, ego, and fearChallenges and hardships every child should face in order to be ready to be an adultHow we do our children a disservice when we “become” their default executive functioningHow we can (and need to) redefine what success looks likeThe connection between successful adults and a child doing chores (and how to get started if you're not doing it now)Why happiness in our kids stems from loveThe benefits of hands-on work for kids developing a sense of agencyHow to help our kids bolster their self-advocacy skills Resources mentioned for helping differently wired teens launchJulie Lythcott Haims' websiteHow to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Real American: A Memoir Julie's TED Talk: How to Raise Successful KidsJulie's TEDxGunnHighSchool Talk: Throw Out the Checklisted ChildhoodJulie's TEDxStanford Talk: Be Your Authentic SelfHow to Be An Adult Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Rosy had a packed schedule of lunches, meet-ups and activities - and she was only three.  Mom Michaeleen Doucleff felt she couldn't waste a second of her daughter's time. Rosy needed to be constantly lectured and stimulated if she was going to reach the Ivy League.  This style of parenting was exhausting both mother and daughter, until Michaeleen found that not everyone approaches child-rearing in this way. She tells Dr Laurie Santos how she forged a happier and more relaxed relationship with Rosy - that benefited them both.   Formed Stanford dean Julie Lythcott-Haims explores how "overparenting" has taken hold in recent decades and why it needs to be challenged.    Further reading: Michaeleen Doucleff - Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy Helpful Humans.   Malcolm Harris - Kids These Days: Human Capital and the Making of Millennials  Julie Lythcott-Haims - How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Julie Lythcott-Haims, bestselling author of the books "How to Raise an Adult," "Real American," and "Your Turn: How to Be an Adult," joins Dr. Solomon on the show to discuss her career, groundbreaking writing, and the challenges she's decided to take on along the way. Listen to feel inspired by Julie and her mission to bring attention to the issues that matter most.How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims:https://bookshop.org/books/how-to-raise-an-adult-break-free-of-the-overparenting-trap-and-prepare-your-kid-for-success/9781250093639How to Be an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims:https://bookshop.org/books/your-turn-how-to-be-an-adult-9781250838414/9781250137777Real American: A Memoir by Julie Lythcott-Haims:https://bookshop.org/books/real-american-a-memoir/9781250296733Subscribe to Dr. Solomon's Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Submit a Listener Question:https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the core tenets of this show is about examining our motivations to achieve (and even overachieve), especially because those needs can contribute to mental health issues. As the school year starts and work pressure ramps up, we revisit our conversation with Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of the New York Times bestselling book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. She also served as Dean of Freshmen and Undergraduate Advising at Stanford University for more than a decade. In this conversation we talk about the roots of why we feel the need to overachieve, how pressures from childhood continue into the workplace, and what that awareness can do with us.

This week on Sinica, Kaiser welcomes back Dr. George Hu, a clinical psychologist based in Shanghai, who has a lot to say about the state of mental health in Chinese cities under lockdown. Unsurprisingly, mental health disorders like anxiety and depression have been exacerbated under conditions of isolation and food insecurity. Surprisingly, there's a silver lining or two to the whole thing.6:52 – Getting a sense for the scale of mental health problems related to the lockdown in Shanghai16:23 – Have the lockdowns increased awareness of and empathy for people suffering from mental health disorders in Shanghai and in China?20:07 – The lockdowns and impact on children and on the elderly34:05 – The impact on essential workers42:21 – What other Chinese cities are learning from Shanghai's COVID-19 experience45:22 – The quarantine centers and mental health servicesA full transcript of this podcast is available at SupChina.com.Recommendations:George: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid For Success by Julie Lythcott-HaimsKaiser: Nicholas Confessore's series in the New York Times on Tucker Carlson, "American Nationalist"See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a far ranging, passionate discussion that you are sure to enjoy. We explore topics like free range kids, stranger danger, overprotecting. How to empathize and empower not only our kids but also adults. How to become stronger in the face of the storm. This is a discussion we all need right now. Show notes: I believe in humans. I'm rooting for all of us to make it. I've come to appreciate that despite our innumerable differences, we all want to be treated with dignity and kindness. We all yearn to know that we matter. We all want to be seen, accepted, and loved simply as we are. I'm interested in what gets in the way. Sometimes the obstacle begins within: our ego, fear, and shame can eat at us and make it difficult for us to be kind even to ourselves let alone to others. Each of us is also implicitly biased in favor of and against groups of humans based upon our upbringing, lived experiences, and the ideas to which we have been exposed. And over the decades and centuries of our modern existence, we've built societal mores, rules, policies, structures, and systems that preference some while demeaning or excluding others. There is so much work to do, at all levels, to build a human community in which we all matter. I want to do my small part. As someone who has the privilege of writing and publishing books, I've decided that the twin practices endemic in American publishing of describing characteristics of race, class, sexual orientation, and other identities only when deemed “the other,” and of assuming that all readers belong to a particular demographic group are no longer tolerable. I'm using my newest book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult to demonstrate that we can, and must, write inclusive books. You can read about how I've attempted to do that, here. It's up to you and me to treat all humans with dignity and kindness and to inspire others to do the same. We can do this. It's well past time. Website: https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/ Books: "How to Raise and Adult: Break Free from the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success" "Your Turn: How to be an Adult"

You are not a piece of clay that is meant to be formed into something someone else wants you to be. You are a human being. A human being with dreams, goals, passions, interests, talents...You're not a drone, a puppet, or a dog on a leash. You are whatever YOU want to be and feel called to be in this world. Julie Lythcott-Haims, a New York Times bestselling author and a speaker, didn't always see her work encompassing writing, speaking, mentoring, and activism. She went into college unsure on what to do but curious on how she could make an impact; a good impact in the world. She started with studying American Studies, shifting to Law and eventually finding herself working in higher education, serving college students. As she worked with students, she found a huge passion for leading young adults and parents of young adults, so much so, she decided to write a book and go on to write two more: Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, Real American: A Memoir, and How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success.On this episode of Success is Subjective, Julie joins Joanna to share her journey going from failing communications class to now making a living as a communicator with 3 books and a TedTalk. Her story of overcoming challenges as a woman of color working to make a name for herself, will be sure to inspire you to take action today on your passions. Listen in for Julie's insight on how imperative it is to figure out what you're good at, what you love, and where you feel a sense of belonging in the world and to not let anyone stop you. You CAN live the life you want to lead, despite what anyone else has to think or say about it. What You Will LearnWhat it was like being raised knowing that higher education was imperativeHow going through school was for Julie, as a woman of colorHow Julie's relationship with her mother really drove her actions in school What sparked Julie's interest in studying American Studies How American Studies got her to pursue LawWhen Julie realized that corporate Law wasn't right for herWhen she decided to pursue bigger passions with serving studentsThe recurring micromanaging she saw from parents of college students which led her to write her first bookWhat Julie has learned from working in higher education and how she uses that experience in her work now, as an entrepreneur The Venn diagram of a fulfilling lifeHow important it is for parents to learn to let go of the reins in their young adult's lifeConnect with Julie Lythcott-HaimsJulie Lythcott-Haim's BlogJulie Lythcott-Haims's Social Media:FacebookInstagramTwitterLinkedInTiktokConnect with Joanna Lilley  Lilley ConsultingLilley Consulting on Instagram Lilley Consulting on Facebook Sponsored by: College Parent Survival NetworkEmail joanna@lilleyconsulting.com

This week, I talk about all the ways I was inspired by Julie Lythcott-Haims' book How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of The Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid For Success. The book really delivers on its promise. It showed me the ways in which I have fallen into the overparenting trap and then it gave me lots of practical ideas for how I can change my ways. Spoiler alert: chores matter! Also: other parents might be crazy about the college arms race, but that doesn't mean we have to follow their lead.   Show notes are available at CourtneyHenningNovak.com. The music is "Carpe Diem" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License. 

This week we're learning how to grow up with help from writer Julie Lythcott-Haims. Julie is the New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, as well as Real American: A Memoir. Listen to hear Julie's advice on navigating your career path fresh out of college, how to get better at connecting with strangers, and how to best support a young person in this transition into full adulthood.Have an idea for a future episode? Call us at 347-687-8109 and leave a voicemail, or write to us at upgrade@lifehacker.com. We want to hear from you!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Julie Lythcott-Haims is a former corporate lawyer and Dean of Freshmen and Admissions at Stanford University, motivational speaker, and author of Real American: A Memoir, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, Writing Memoir, and Your Turn: How to Be an Adult. Our wide ranging conversation begins with her experience growing up Black and biracial in America. We also talk about the need to purge perfection from our lives, especially parenting. And she gives tips for helicopter parents who wish to change their ways. Lots packed into this thirty-eight minute interview. And be sure to check her out at https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/. Enjoy!   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tony Shawcross and Laura Turley discuss "The Explosive Child", Ross Greene PhD's "New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children."Radical Honesty trainer and mother of a non-neurotypical child, Laura Turley shares the impact of implementing the lessons of this book with her daughter, Faye. links and resources referenced in the podcast:Invisibilia Podcast: https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/378577902/how-to-become-batmanPeter Gray on Fear-Based Parenting: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201903/the-many-shades-fear-based-parentinghttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/200907/play-makes-us-human-vi-hunter-gatherers-playful-parentingThe Culture of Childhood (We've Almost Destroyed It) Peter Gray: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201610/the-culture-childhood-we-ve-almost-destroyed-itHow to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (Julie Lythcott-Haims) https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/how-to-raise-an-adultJanet Lansbury Podcast & Blog: https://www.janetlansbury.com/tag/podcasts/Susan Stiffelman : https://susanstiffelman.com/3 Ways to Stop Parenting out of Fear: https://medium.com/be-unique/3-ways-to-stop-parenting-out-of-fear-eebb785e9513Aware Parenting Institute: http://awareparenting.com/Simplicity Parenting with Kim John Payne: https://www.simplicityparenting.com/about-simplicity-parenting/about-kim-john-payne/Free Range Kids: https://www.freerangekids.com/

Tony discusses the priorities and choices we make as parents with Tom Dyson, an undeniably radical parent, who recovered from divorce, depression, and a mid-life crisis by taking his family on a multi-year, round-the-globe trip that culminated in couchsurfing across over 30 homes in the US during the peak of COVID. Tom reminds us that the time we have with our kids is limited and precious and provides an inspiring example of a family that has prioritized that time together above all else. links and resources referenced in the podcast:Invisibilia Podcast: https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/378577902/how-to-become-batmanPeter Gray on Fear-Based Parenting: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201903/the-many-shades-fear-based-parentinghttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/200907/play-makes-us-human-vi-hunter-gatherers-playful-parentingThe Culture of Childhood (We've Almost Destroyed It) Peter Gray: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201610/the-culture-childhood-we-ve-almost-destroyed-itHow to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (Julie Lythcott-Haims) https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/how-to-raise-an-adultJanet Lansbury Podcast & Blog: https://www.janetlansbury.com/tag/podcasts/Susan Stiffelman : https://susanstiffelman.com/3 Ways to Stop Parenting out of Fear: https://medium.com/be-unique/3-ways-to-stop-parenting-out-of-fear-eebb785e9513Aware Parenting Institute: http://awareparenting.com/Simplicity Parenting with Kim John Payne: https://www.simplicityparenting.com/about-simplicity-parenting/about-kim-john-payne/Free Range Kids: https://www.freerangekids.com/

Tony and Kara discuss the significant and surprising impact our expectations and fears have on our children. Beginning with a 2015 Invisibilia podcast about a blind man who found that the expectations of his parents helped him develop the ability to see without his eyes, the discussion moves to Peter Gray, the unschooling champion who has written extensively about fear-based parenting and the ways our fears handicap our children… literally handicap them. links and resources referenced in the podcast:Invisibilia Podcast: https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/378577902/how-to-become-batmanPeter Gray on Fear-Based Parenting: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201903/the-many-shades-fear-based-parentinghttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/200907/play-makes-us-human-vi-hunter-gatherers-playful-parentingThe Culture of Childhood (We've Almost Destroyed It) Peter Gray: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201610/the-culture-childhood-we-ve-almost-destroyed-itHow to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (Julie Lythcott-Haims) https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/how-to-raise-an-adultJanet Lansbury Podcast & Blog: https://www.janetlansbury.com/tag/podcasts/Susan Stiffelman : https://susanstiffelman.com/3 Ways to Stop Parenting out of Fear: https://medium.com/be-unique/3-ways-to-stop-parenting-out-of-fear-eebb785e9513Aware Parenting Institute: http://awareparenting.com/Simplicity Parenting with Kim John Payne: https://www.simplicityparenting.com/about-simplicity-parenting/about-kim-john-payne/Free Range Kids: https://www.freerangekids.com/

Episode 10! Double Digits, Babyyyyyy.  Jennie and Allie are back from Spring Break, and have never felt worse.  Thinking we were out of the woods, after over a year, Allie's house was struck with Covid. The Mommies discuss symptoms, and goals for getting back to fighting shape. Who else is in?! We're thinking of starting a movement of strong mommies, with even stronger immune systems.  Follow us on Instagram for yummy recipes, and workout inspo. Or at least commiserate with us in the process!Fortunately, they are joined by Dr. Heather Orman-Lubell, who answers all kinds of questions, from Covid and Kids, to giving ourselves grace with screen time.  She gives us hope for kids going back to school in the fall, and discusses the importance of getting vaccinated. Below, is the list of resources she shares, for parents...and Jennie realizes she has some catching up to do! Thank you to Tim (@timbostwickrealtor) and Dr. Heather! And thank you everyone for listening!Parenting Resources:"The AAP Guide to the First Five Years""The AAP Guide to Your Child's Symptoms""Baby 411: Clear Answers and Smart Advice For Your Baby's First Year", Dr. Ari Brown, and Denise Fields"The Mommy MD Guides""The Blessings of a Skinned Knee", Wendy Mogel, Ph.D."How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success", Julie Lythcott-HaimsEMAIL: TheVillagePod@gmail.comSOCIALS: @villagecommunity @mrsjennieporter @smallspacemommySUBSCRIBE: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, Stitcher, BuzzSprout

Show Notes If you enjoy learning from Sara and me, consider bringing our Raise Thriving Kids live workshop to your community or participating in our online course. Join my PATREON squad for special perks, including bonus podcast episodes, exclusive posts, and resources.  Subscribe for resources and ideas for happier, more connected families.  This is an encore presentation of one of my favorite episodes. Enjoy! This episode is a live recording of my chat with Sara Kuljis about some of our favorite year-end reflection activities. Joining Sara and me for this episode is Kate Rader, one of the participants from our Raise Thriving Kids Workshop. Kate is a stay-at-home mom to 3 adventure-seeking and fun-loving kiddos, Lauren and Caroline, identical twins who are 13 and Jack, age 10, wife to her college sweetheart Jeff and curious lover of books, podcasts, and conversations about intentional parenting and living. Here's what Kate had to say about our workshop: "It was just so wonderful to be in a room with people who care enough to be intentional about the choices they're making for their families and what they want for their families because it's a work in progress--and we're all working together." Big Ideas In addition to parenting books, podcasts, and coaching, workshops are a great resource for parents. Just as most people need continual training and education in their careers, parents can also take the time to learn and connect with others in order to feel invigorated. It is helpful to share what is working and to discuss best practices for strengthening family bonds. We talk a lot about the importance of self-care and modeling a balanced life for our kids. Today we discuss the ideas I shared in my recent post, 5 Simple Year-End Reflections: Create a Reverse Bucket List. Look back over your life and make a list of the cool things you've already done. 100 Family Memories Brainstorm and make a list of what happened in your family this year. Pick a Quote of the Year Find a quote that resonates with you, or something motivational, looking back or looking ahead, a quote you want to live by. Select One Word that you want to guide you in the new year Be authentic and make it a word that is uniquely yours. Remember your Favorite Books or resources from the past year Take time to let the new things that you have learned (in books, podcasts, workshops) to percolate and apply the concepts or practices to your life. Pick one or two of these ideas that resonate with you. You can do an activity on your own or engage the whole family. Make the delivery of the idea fun and light. Allow people to be silly. Getting the family together over the holidays, expressing gratitude, and setting intentions together are my favorite ways to bring in the new year. Quotes Sara: "Sometimes parenting intentionally feels counter-cultural. When we're swimming upstream, to have fishies to swim with is so confidence building. It's reassuring, it's empowering. I've loved all the parents we have gotten to work with through this project because it has fueled me." Kate: "The regular accountability is equally as important to me as the one-day workshop. Whether it's via podcasts, recorded conversations, or live conversations, getting together at Starbucks, or whatever it might be, that's really beneficial in maintaining the kind of wonderful feelings that we got coming out of the workshop." Kate: "If we're going to develop a true family culture, we need to be intentional about spending time together as a family. And that time is harder and harder to come by." Kate: "Just being together, away, experiencing some new adventures has been a neat way for us to firm up our family culture and values and make memories together. That's been a key take away for me." Kate: "It's not about those grand gestures. It's about the thoughtful, meaningful moments where people take the time to appreciate their relationships." Audrey: "Even if you're not a person who gives affirmations, I really don't think there's a person in this world who wouldn't mind getting a nice note saying something that someone likes about them." Audrey: "Sometimes parents start thinking that their relationship with their child is supposed to be like a normal, reciprocal relationship. Expecting that you pour into this child and they're going to pour back to you, is not how parenting works. However, I'm seeing that once they're adults you may get more of the reciprocity than when they were kids. I get very filled up now by my adult children when they give me affirmations or send me a nice message--it's really great." Audrey: "You keep encouraging, even if you don't think it means something because I think it really is landing somewhere." Audrey: "Another activity could be taking a year's worth of fun texts, cards, and nice messages and putting them somewhere like in a scrapbook just as a great boost." Sara: "I love the idea of sitting down with the whole family and saying, 'let's look way back' because there is a chance that something that I didn't consider very bucket-y might have been really significant to my kids. I think it will remind us that it has been a rich life of experiences." Audrey: "I would challenge you to focus on yourself for your own reverse bucket list. Sometimes it's good to just think about for your own self-awareness and self-worth and knowing that you're enough just the way you are. I would suggest that the bucket list idea is more of a personal thing because it is recognizing the goals you've already achieved and the cool things that you've done, whereas the 100 Family Memories would be the things you're grateful for." Audrey: "The goal is to try to remember (as many as) 100 things so you get down to some of the minutiae and those are some of the funny, random, individual things that happened. It's been a really fun practice." Kate: "I think when you allow each family member to share their treasured memories from the year, it gives us insight into their personalities and their level of value and priorities, as well." Audrey: "I like spending time at the end of the year, really thinking through what my one word is, thinking about what was good this year and what is it that I want to take into the new year and feel more of, or do more of--I love the process." Audrey: "Determine the kind of person you want to be in the next year. Identify the characteristics of that best self. When you're being your best self, what does that look like? It has guided me a lot because once I pick a word, I then seek out resources and ideas to help me live that word better." Kate: "It's a neat way to put the focus on how you're going to spend your time, your energy, your reading, and research--all that good stuff. When it is meaningful, it really does carry you through the year and it gives purpose to how you're spending your time." Audrey: "It really hit me that my best contribution to my family, to the world, comes when I focus and take the time to do some research, reading, writing, thoughtful time, which is not a normal part of life anymore. You have to actually build in focus." Audrey: "There are so many new ideas and things you can do, but to really move the needle, all you need to do is just one. I am challenging myself this year to slow down on the consumption of new information and instead get out the books I've read, look at my highlights and just recap." Related Posts & Podcasts 5 Simple Year-End Reflection Activities Learning to Enjoy the Little Things 100 Family Memories #oneword My One Word for 2019: Focus 15 Books for a Happier, More Purposeful Life Stop & Celebrate Ep. 68 12 Parenting Tips for Happier, More Connected Families Ep. 105 Live Above the Noise with Rob Reiher Resources Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp Finding Fred Podcast  

I’m here with Julie Lythcott-Haims, who is the author of The New York Times best-selling book How to Raise an Adult. It’s one of my favorite books and I think her message is incredibly, incredibly important. I’m so excited to have her on today to share her perspective because Julie is a mom (and also …

I’m here with Julie Lythcott-Haims, who is the author of The New York Times best-selling book How to Raise an Adult. It’s one of my favorite books and I think her message is incredibly, incredibly important. I’m so excited to have her on today to share her perspective because Julie is a mom (and also …

I’m here with Julie Lythcott-Haims, who is the author of The New York Times best-selling book How to Raise an Adult. It’s one of my favorite books and I think her message is incredibly, incredibly important. I’m so excited to have her on today to share her perspective because Julie is a mom (and also …

Reviewing the most popular books about only children, advice on how to help your kid become independent, and an announcement about the show. Until 2:50 is the announcement, 2:50 on is book reviews, with the exception of 11:30-21:30, which is the section on empowerment and independence for only kids. Here are the books mentioned, with ratings out of 4 stars **** One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One by Lauren Sandler *** Parenting an Only Child by Dr. Susan Newman ** The Seven Common Sings of Parenting an Only Child by Carolyn White *** How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims **** How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk **** The Future of Your Only Child by Dr. Carl Pickhardt * Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo by Siegel, Deborah, et al**** "Yes, having 'just' the one child can make for a wonderful family dynamic" by Geraldine Walsh in The Irish Times. https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/parenting/yes-having-just-the-one-child-can-make-for-a-wonderful-family-dynamic-1.4141791 Great quote from the above: "It is the quality not the quantity of relationships that is important to any child."

A book review of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims.

Every parent's worst nightmare is for their child to get abducted. With the instant availability of news (especially bad news), it sometimes feels like it is only a matter of time before something awful happens to our kids. I understand that there are bad people in the world who do horrible things to children. I am not downplaying that in any way, and we do need to teach our kids to be cautious. The reality is, however, that strangers abduct only .01% of all missing children. The other 99.99% of kids reported missing have been taken by family members, run away, discarded (meaning their families did not want them), or reported missing by error. (“Chapter 1.” How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims, St. Martin's Griffin, 2016, pp. 14–15.) A vast majority of strangers are good people. Teaching our kids that they should never talk to strangers is denying them the needed opportunity to learn vital communication skills. Listen in for all the details. CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK For young kids: Take your child out to eat and let them order their own food without your help. For older kids and teens: Invite an adult who may be unfamiliar to your child over to you home and encourage your child to lead the conversation. Find show notes here Follow along on Instagram Follow along on Facebook Thank you for your ratings and reviews! If you find this podcast helpful, please keep them coming!

Mina Kim of San Francisco’s KQED and Rose Scott of Atlanta’s WABE explore what the nationwide school closures say about the future of our country’s education system. The sudden switch to distance learning highlights the country’s existing gaps in income, services, and technology. Will the ongoing measures to control the pandemic only widen the gaps or can we find solutions to the problems? You'll hear from Kamau Bobb, Global Lead for Diversity Strategy and Research at Google and the founding Senior Director of the Constellations Center for Equity in Computing at the Georgia Institute of Technology; Julie Lythcott-Haims, former dean of freshmen and undergraduate advising at Stanford, and author of "How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success"; Lisa Kelly, 6th grade English/ESL teacher at Life Academy in Oakland, CA; and Natasha Wimberly, an English teacher at Early County High School in Southwest Georgia.

This episode is a live recording of my chat with Sara Kuljis about some of our favorite year-end reflection activities. Joining Sara and me for this episode is Kate Rader, one of the participants from our Raise Thriving Kids Workshop. Kate is a stay-at-home mom to 3 adventure-seeking and fun-loving kiddos, Lauren and Caroline, identical twins who are 13 and Jack, age 10, wife to her college sweetheart Jeff and curious lover of books, podcasts, and conversations about intentional parenting and living. [caption id="attachment_6803" align="alignnone" width="1024"]Kate Rader and family[/caption] Here's what Kate had to say about our workshop: "It was just so wonderful to be in a room with people who care enough to be intentional about the choices they're making for their families and what they want for their families because it's a work in progress--and we're all working together." Big Ideas In addition to parenting books, podcasts, and coaching, workshops are a great resource for parents. Just as most people need continual training and education in their careers, parents can also take the time to learn and connect with others in order to feel invigorated. It is helpful to share what is working and to discuss best practices for strengthening family bonds. We talk a lot about the importance of self-care and modeling a balanced life for our kids. Today we discuss the ideas I shared in my recent post, 5 Simple Year-End Reflections: Create a Reverse Bucket List. Look back over your life and make a list of the cool things you've already done. 100 Family Memories - brainstorm and make a list of what happened in your family this year. Pick a Quote-of-the-Year. Find a quote that resonates with you, or something motivational, looking back or looking ahead, a quote you want to live by. Select One Word that you want to guide you in the new year. Be authentic and make it a word that is uniquely yours. Remember your Favorite Books or resources from the past year. Take time to let the new things that you have learned (in books, podcasts, workshops) to percolate and apply the concepts or practices to your life. Pick one or two of these ideas that resonate with you. You can do an activity on your own or engage the whole family. Make the delivery of the idea fun and light. Allow people to be silly. Getting the family together over the holidays, expressing gratitude, and setting intentions together are my favorite ways to bring in the new year. Quotes Sara: "Sometimes parenting intentionally feels counter-cultural. When we're swimming upstream, to have fishies to swim with is so confidence building. It's reassuring, it's empowering. I've loved all the parents we have gotten to work with through this project because it has fueled me." Kate: "The regular accountability is equally as important to me as the one-day workshop. Whether it's via podcasts, recorded conversations, or live conversations, getting together at Starbucks, or whatever it might be, that's really beneficial in maintaining the kind of wonderful feelings that we got coming out of the workshop." Kate: "If we're going to develop a true family culture, we need to be intentional about spending time together as a family. And that time is harder and harder to come by." Kate: "Just being together, away, experiencing some new adventures has been a neat way for us to firm up our family culture and values and make memories together. That's been a key take away for me." Kate: "It's not about those grand gestures. It's about the thoughtful, meaningful moments where people take the time to appreciate their relationships." Audrey: "Even if you're not a person who gives affirmations, I really don't think there's a person in this world who wouldn't mind getting a nice note saying something that someone likes about them." Audrey: "Sometimes parents start thinking that their relationship with their child is supposed to be like a normal, reciprocal relationship. Expecting that you pour into this child and they're going to pour back to you, is not how parenting works. However, I'm seeing that once they're adults you may get more of the reciprocity than when they were kids. I get very filled up now by my adult children when they give me affirmations or send me a nice message--it's really great." Audrey: "You keep encouraging, even if you don't think it means something because I think it really is landing somewhere." Audrey: "Another activity could be taking a year's worth of fun texts, cards, and nice messages and putting them somewhere like in a scrapbook just as a great boost." Sara: "I love the idea of sitting down with the whole family and saying, 'let's look way back' because there is a chance that something that I didn't consider very bucket-y might have been really significant to my kids. I think it will remind us that it has been a rich life of experiences." Audrey: "I would challenge you to focus on yourself for your own reverse bucket list. Sometimes it's good to just think about for your own self-awareness and self-worth and knowing that you're enough just the way you are. I would suggest that the bucket list idea is more of a personal thing because it is recognizing the goals you've already achieved and the cool things that you've done, whereas the 100 Family Memories would be the things you're grateful for." Audrey: "The goal is to try to remember (as many as) 100 things so you get down to some of the minutiae and those are some of the funny, random, individual things that happened. It's been a really fun practice." Kate: "I think when you allow each family member to share their treasured memories from the year, it gives us insight into their personalities and their level of value and priorities, as well." Audrey: "I like spending time at the end of the year, really thinking through what my one word is, thinking about what was good this year and what is it that I want to take into the new year and feel more of, or do more of--I love the process." Audrey: "Determine the kind of person you want to be in the next year. Identify the characteristics of that best self. When you're being your best self, what does that look like? It has guided me a lot because once I pick a word, I then seek out resources and ideas to help me live that word better." Kate: "It's a neat way to put the focus on how you're going to spend your time, your energy, your reading, and research--all that good stuff. When it is meaningful, it really does carry you through the year and it gives purpose to how you're spending your time." Audrey: "It really hit me that my best contribution to my family, to the world, comes when I focus and take the time to do some research, reading, writing, thoughtful time, which is not a normal part of life anymore. You have to actually build in focus." Audrey: "There are so many new ideas and things you can do, but to really move the needle, all you need to do is just one. I am challenging myself this year to slow down on the consumption of new information and instead get out the books I've read, look at my highlights and just recap." Related Posts & Podcasts 5 Simple Year-End Reflection Activities Learning to Enjoy the Little Things 100 Family Memories #oneword My One Word for 2019: Focus Ep. 68 12 Parenting Tips for Happier, More Connected Families Ep. 105 Live Above the Noise with Rob Reiher Resources Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp Finding Fred Podcast  

"Teach your kids about your cleaning business if you want them to have a work ethic." Ken Carfagno of Carfagno Cleaning and host of the Solo Cleaning School podcast drops by the #AskaHouseCleaner show today. Family values start with you leading by example. You can host family cleaning projects that teach kids to clean. As a homeschooling parent, this dadpreneur says to include a "clean up" time every day. Today’s sponsors are #SavvyCleaner - training for house cleaners and maids. And My Cleaning Connection - a hub with tips for family cleaning and other fun #cleaning stuff. *** LEARN MORE ABOUT KEN CARFAGNO *** https://smartcleaningbiz.com – cleaning biz https://bit.ly/SmartCleaningBiz - Smart Cleaning Biz YouTube *** MOST REQUESTED LIST OF CLEANING STUFF I USE *** https://www.Amazon.com/shop/AngelaBrown *** MORE VIDEOS ON THIS TOPIC *** How to Get Your Kids to Clean Up After Themselves | Parenting A to Z - Kelly Bourne - https://youtu.be/2iVVhiII2zA Teaching my Kids How to Clean - 8 Passengers - https://youtu.be/n-XFwVmzKfk How to Teach Kids to Clean - Clean Your Room It’s Fun! - Angela Brown - https://youtu.be/ok_r-mody8w How to Get Kids to Start Cleaning! - Clean My Space - https://youtu.be/q_Gm8-5bo-4 5 Tricks to Get Kids to Clean Up - WhatsUpMoms - https://youtu.be/yWSFdGPp-ms *** GOOD KARMA RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE *** We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life - https://amzn.to/35hLQ40 Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes - https://amzn.to/2LUF7FB 40 Things to Teach Your Children Before You Die: The Simple American Truths About Life, Family & Faith - https://amzn.to/2obpsJb How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success - https://amzn.to/33drffG The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed - https://amzn.to/31XuCXB *** CONNECT WITH ANGELA ON SOCIAL MEDIA *** LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/savvycleaner/ Facebook: https://Facebook.com/SavvyCleaner Twitter: https://Twitter.com/SavvyCleane Instagram: https://Instagram.com/SavvyCleaner Pinterest: https://Pinterest.com/SavvyCleaner *** GOT A QUESTION FOR A SHOW? *** Email it to Angela[at]AskaHouseCleaner.com Voice Mail: Click on the blue button at https://askahousecleaner.com *** HOUSE CLEANING TIPS VAULT *** (DELIVERED VIA EMAIL) - https://savvycleaner.com/tips *** FREE EBOOK – HOW TO START YOUR OWN HOUSE CLEANING COMPANY *** http://amzn.to/2xUAF3Z *** PROFESSIONAL HOUSE CLEANERS PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP *** https://www.facebook.com/groups/ProfessionalHouseCleaners/ *** VRBO AIRBNB CLEANING FACEBOOK GROUP *** https://www.facebook.com/groups/VRBO.Airbnb.Cleaning/ *** LOOKING FOR WAY TO GET MORE CLEANING LEADS *** https://housecleaning360.com *** WHAT IS ASK A HOUSE CLEANER? *** Ask a House Cleaner is a daily show where you get to ask your house cleaning questions and we provide answers. Learn how to clean. How to start a cleaning business. Marketing and Advertising tips for your cleaning service. How to find top quality house cleaners, housekeepers, and maids. Employee motivation tactics. Strategies to boost your cleaning clientele. Cleaning company expansion help. Time-saving Hacks for DIY cleaners and more. Hosted by Angela Brown, 25-year house cleaning expert and founder of Savvy Cleaner Training for House Cleaners and Maids. *** SPONSORSHIPS & BRANDS *** We do work with sponsors and brands. If you are interested in working with us and you have a product or service that is cohesive to the cleaning industry read this: https://savvycleaner.com/product-review *** THIS SHOW WAS SPONSORED BY *** SAVVY CLEANER - House Cleaner Training and Certification – https://savvycleaner.com MY CLEANING CONNECTION – Your hub for all things cleaning – https://mycleaningconnection.com HOUSECLEANING360.COM – Connecting House Cleaners with Homeowners – https://housecleaning360.com SAVVY PERKS – Employee Benefits for Small Business Owners – https://savvyperks.com VRBO AIRBNB CLEANING – Cleaning tips and strategies for your short-term rental https://TurnoverCleaningTips.com

Christina Stembel entered the $3B online flower industry with no experience and very little money. With a dream to innovate on how business was done, she came up with a unique model that eventually led to Farmgirl Flowers’ $23.4M in revenue last year. Visit https://www.leadquizzes.com/podcast for the complete show notes of every podcast episode.   Topics Discussed in this Episode: [01:48] What gave Christina the idea of going into the flower business [03:37] Some of the things that Christina saw with the major players in the online flower market that made her think she could come in and stand out [05:56] How Christina came up with Farmgirl Flowers’ unique business model [06:49] How they tackled the problem of “waste” in the flower industry [09:27] What they did to make their bouquet pieces different from the competition [10:47] How Christina started Farmgirl Flowers with her personal savings and how she got it launched off the ground [12:49] What their first year in business looked like [14:24] How they started marketing in their first year [16:25] How they built their customer base by utilizing customer feedback [19:42] The different ways they get customer feedback [20:57] How they started doing advertising in years three and four and their strategy of pushing it through Yelp [23:30] Christina’s first hire and what she brought them in to do [26:47] Farmgirl Flowers’ supply chain, how they decided to get their sourcing, and how it evolved over time [30:39] The challenge of supporting American growers and why they eventually decided to get international sourcing [35:06] How much people cared about the idea of supporting American growers [36:38] The one thing that Christina did that had the biggest impact on Farmgirl Flowers’ growth [38:24] How Christina made sure she hired the right person. [39:05] The area that Christina personally had to grow in as a business owner to get to where she is today   Key Takeaways: In previous generations, people would hide behind the fact that it’s the thought that counts, but it’s not the thought that counts with younger people. If they’re going to spend $80 to $100 of their hard-earned money on a bouquet of flowers, it better be worth that much. Flowers have a very rough perishability time period, even more so than food. If you’re in the flower business, you can’t make a mistake. You have about three days to use those flowers before you have to dump them. 79% of the people that buy flowers are women buying for women. It’s the actual marketing spend that’s going to drive your growth. If you are spending on people managing that spend, that’s money you could be actually spending on the spend. You need as much money to get in front of people as you can. Parenting books are wonderful for managing people.   Action Steps: Get customer feedback and use it to make the necessary changes to create the best product offering that would allow you to meet your business goals. Find the platform that everybody else is using for advertising and put your money there. Become a good leader and manage your people well. Put a lot of emphasis on team culture early into your business.   Christina said: “The industry is very old school. It’s ancient. Most of the American farmers are second or third generation and they’ve been doing things in certain ways. And getting them to break that, the system that they’ve been set up for and doing things for multiple generations is not easy.” “Every dollar that I can spend, putting it back into marketing, is what’s going to help keep fueling our growth.”   More from Christina Stembel: Farmgirl Flowers’ Website Farmgirl Flowers’ Facebook Farmgirl Flowers’ Instagram (@farmgirlflowers) Christina’s LinkedIn   Tools and resources mentioned in this episode: The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle Books written by Brene Brown How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims   Sponsor link 14-day Free Trial to LeadQuizzes   Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to this podcast! And don’t forget to leave me a rating and a review on iTunes!

A homeschooling Dad tackles cleaning in today's #AskaHouseCleaner. Ken Carfagno, President of Carfagno Cleaning is a Dadpreneur who does house cleaning at home, and for a job. He believes kids cleaning and doing family cleaning projects strengthen family values. He also coaches those cleaning solo as well as those homeschooling. His message promotes single dad cleaning, single mom cleaning and kids can clean too. Today's sponsors are #SavvyCleaner (training and certification for house cleaners and maids.) And HouseCleaning360 (a place where homeowners can search and find house cleaners or maids.) #Dadpreneur *** LEARN MORE ABOUT KEN CARFAGNO *** www.smartcleaningbiz.com – Cleaning Biz http://bit.ly/KenCarfagno - YouTube Dadnamics *** MOST REQUESTED LIST OF STUFF I USE *** https://amazon.com/shop/AngelaBrown *** MORE VIDEOS ON THIS TOPIC *** Homeschool Mom Cleaning Tips - How I Keep My House Clean. - Grace and Grit - https://youtu.be/KNfKl5iKwm4 Homeschool MOM Cleaning Routine | Before & After KITCHEN Cabinet Organization - Jamerrill Stewart - https://youtu.be/OiufwXJNImE Nighttime Clean W/Me - Cleaning Routine & Motivation - TheFallCoFamily - https://youtu.be/momzVtCZqWc Chore Cards {Mom Hack} || Keeping our home clean while homeschooling - MonsonSchoolHouse - https://youtu.be/9rTzOpRiKfw Tip Tuesday: Running a Homeschool Household - Erica Arndt - https://youtu.be/fW3aKDrxlPs *** RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE *** We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life - https://amzn.to/35hLQ40 Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes - https://amzn.to/2LUF7FB 40 Things to Teach Your Children Before You Die: The Simple American Truths About Life, Family & Faith - https://amzn.to/2obpsJb How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success - https://amzn.to/33drffG The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed - https://amzn.to/31XuCXB *** OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS SHOW *** ITUNES - http://apple.co/2xhxnoj STITCHER - http://bit.ly/2fcm5JM SOUNDCLOUD - http://bit.ly/2xpRgLH GOOGLE PLAY - http://bit.ly/2fdkQd7 YOUTUBE - https://goo.gl/UCs92v *** GOT A QUESTION FOR A SHOW? *** Email it to Angela[at]AskaHouseCleaner.com Voice Mail: Click on the blue button at https://askahousecleaner.com *** HOUSE CLEANING TIPS VAULT *** (DELIVERED VIA EMAIL) - https://savvycleaner.com/tips *** FREE EBOOK – HOW TO START YOUR OWN HOUSE CLEANING COMPANY *** http://amzn.to/2xUAF3Z *** PROFESSIONAL HOUSE CLEANERS PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP *** https://www.facebook.com/groups/ProfessionalHouseCleaners/ *** VRBO AIRBNB CLEANING FACEBOOK GROUP *** https://www.facebook.com/groups/VRBO.Airbnb.Cleaning/ *** LOOKING FOR WAY TO GET MORE CLEANING LEADS *** https://housecleaning360.com *** FOLLOW ANGELA BROWN ON SOCIAL MEDIA *** https://Facebook.com/SavvyCleaner https://Twitter.com/SavvyCleaner https://Instagram.com/SavvyCleaner https://Pinterest.com/SavvyCleaner https://Linkedin.com/in/SavvyCleaner *** WHAT IS ASK A HOUSE CLEANER? *** Ask a House Cleaner is a daily show where you get to ask your house cleaning questions and we provide answers. Learn how to clean. How to start a cleaning business. Marketing and Advertising tips for your cleaning service. How to find top quality house cleaners, housekeepers, and maids. Employee motivation tactics. Strategies to boost your cleaning clientele. Cleaning company expansion help. Time-saving Hacks for DIY cleaners and more. Hosted by Angela Brown, 25-year house cleaning expert and founder of Savvy Cleaner Training for House Cleaners and Maids. *** SPONSORSHIPS & BRANDS *** We do work with sponsors and brands. If you are interested in working with us and you have a product or service that is cohesive to the cleaning industry reach out to our promotional department info[at]AskaHouseCleaner.com *** THIS SHOW WAS SPONSORED BY *** SAVVY CLEANER - House Cleaner Training and Certification – https://savvycleaner.com MY CLEANING CONNECTION – Your hub for all things cleaning – https://mycleaningconnection.com HOUSECLEANING360.COM – Connecting House Cleaners with Homeowners – https://housecleaning360.com SAVVY PERKS – Employee Benefits for Small Business Owners – https://savvyperks.com VRBO AIRBNB CLEANING – Cleaning tips and strategies for your short-term rental https://TurnoverCleaningTips.com

Growing up means making mistakesThe problem with this, according to Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author of "How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success," is that parents never let their children grow up. Growing up means making your own decisions, and sometimes, mistakes, she told The Times.“The point is to prepare the kid for the road, instead of preparing the road for the kid,” Lythcott-Haims said. Lythcott-Haims said it's difficult for snowplow parents to break the habit of being a child's fixer, always plowing away all the difficulties."If you’re doing it in high school, you can’t stop at college,” she said. "If you’re doing it in college, you can’t stop when it comes to the workplace. You have manufactured a role for yourself of always being there to handle things for your child, so it gets worse because your young adult is ill-equipped to manage the basic tasks of life."Lythcott-Haims said parents eventually have to take a back seat and let their kids drive their own lives. "You can’t just arrive them at the future you want for them. They have to do the work to build the skills," she said. Today on the podcast we are joined by Steve SimmonsEducational psychologist 30 years as business and leadership coach, former school psychologist and director of special ed, co-founder and head success coach - Launch-Your-Life.com, Steve has spent a lot of time working with and understanding teens. Steve is a frequent contributor regarding teenage issues on local NBC affiliate [WNYT], as well as - on-line parents' groups and has dedicated his life to helping to develop personal leadership in young people For more information on Steve you can find him at www.launch-your-life.comTo find out more about how to empower the girl in your life please visit www.EmpoweredGirlMovement. com and make sure to join our facebook group called MOMS RAISING POWERFUL GIRLS, we look forward to seeing you there!

Is praise a springboard or a trap? Everybody loves praise, right? But not all praise is created equally. Some praise encourages our children to develop grit, confidence, and resilience, while other kinds of praise can hinder our children and discourage their ability to keep trying when things get hard. In this episode, we share some fascinating research about both kinds of praise and discuss the best forms of praise for the overall wholeness for our kids. We also discuss the benefits of chores and give some tips about how to successfully cultivate hard work and responsibility in your kidlets. You can find the book that inspired us here: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250093635/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_u-meDbES0W78H Praise advice from the American Psycological Association: https://www.apa.org/education/k12/using-praise An awesome article about how doing chores makes kids more successful: https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/kids-who-do-chores-are-more-successful-adults-according-to-science.html --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Do you ever feel like you are caught in the trap of overparenting? Today we talk about fostering independence in our kids using inspiration from the book How to Raise and Adult by Julie Lythcott-Hainsworth. As the Dean of Freshman at Stanford University, she spent a lot of time interacting with young adults. She found that despite the best of intentions, many parents are robbing their children of the chance to be their own independent person, and that this epidemic of child-like adults has been on the rise in recent years.  In this episode, we discuss possible antidotes to this issue as our children grow. We focus on independence, wholeness, and emotional resilience.  For a list of age appropriate tasks most kids can complete independently, check out: https://www.familyeducation.com/life/individuality/guide-to-teach-your-child-life-skills-by-age You can find the book that inspired us here:  How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250093635/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_u-meDbES0W78H --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

SUMMARY Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Dean of Freshman at Stanford University, offers her New York Times bestselling anti-parenting manifesto, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. In the book, Lythcott-Haims explores how and why hyper-attentive parenting, or helicopter parenting, has taken parents and their children hostage in this country. This trend of well-intentioned parents who hover is creating real-life dangers for 21st-century smart kids who can’t even make their own beds. Their parents have been lured into creating "check-listed childhoods" or "redshirting" their kindergartners. Left inept in essential life skills because their parents watch, handle, fix, and organize everything for them, these kids are unprepared to work, lead, and take their rightful place as the next generation of adults. So, here to stop the madness of overprotecting, overscheduling, and overparenting is Lythcott-Haims. She speaks with the compassion of a parent yet the unapologetic urgency of someone who spent a decade observing some of our brightest young people fail to launch. In short, Lythcott-Haims teaches us how to change the definition of success and how to raise an adult. KEY POINTS “Existential impotence” – a state of being among young adults who remain, effectively, small children-in-arms lovingly attended to almost 24/7 and who feel perfectly content to be cared for by parents indefinitely Helicopter parenting is borne of five causes during the 1980s: 1- the playdate, 2 - the self-esteem movement, 3 - “stranger danger” 4 - seatbelt and bicycle helmets laws, and 5 - A Nation at Risk. Three types of overparenting: overprotecting, overdirecting, and hand-holding.  The shift to round-the-clock parenting has short-term gains but long-term losses. Four-step method for teaching children skills: do it for them, do it with them, watch them do it, and they do it themselves. Baby Boomers started helicopter parenting, and the movement has now continued into the present when Millennials are parenting. Give kids unstructured time for free play with no adult supervision. Kids are more likely to be harmed as a passenger in a car than to be abducted. Normalizing struggle by allowing small setbacks to teach is what leads to having autonomous kids and independent adults. QUOTES FROM LYTHCOTT-HAIMES “The most loving thing we can do as parents is to prepare ourselves to fend without us.” “Short of the disasters that can befall them, we’re supposed to let life teach our kids lessons.” “We have to as a community, as a neighborhood, as a school district, as a town—we have to call time out…and blow the whistle. We need to do things differently!” “Free play is essential the developmental wellness of children, so this is not some fuzzy thing…They will be mentally unwell (compromised) if their childhood doesn’t include a pretty regular dose of free play.” “A long-term study conducted over decades [the Harvard Study] shows that a kid who did chores in childhood is more likely to be professionally successful later in life. Why? Because chores build a work ethic and also a mindset of ‘Pitch in, and be useful!’” “What’s really best for a child is to figure out, ‘What do I want? What am I good at? Let me craft my life accordingly.’” Connect with Julie Lythcott-Haims on her website, and check out her wildly popular TEDTalk (with over 4 million views) about how to raise a successful kid without overparenting. Check out the Wilton Connecticut Free Play Matters Task Force website. Read articles by Peter Gray, the guru of free play, found at the Natural Child Project website. Visit the Let Grow website for “future-proofing our kids and our country.” BUY How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success RECOMMENDATION For student-centered college searches, visit the Colleges That Change Lives website, OR BUY Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools That Will Change the Way You Think About Colleges. Connect with us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube Special thanks… Music Credit Sound Editing Credit

Episode 182: Julie Lythcott-Haims tells us how to raise an adult We're so excited to have best-selling author Julie Lythcott-Haims on the podcast this week! We've talked about her before, both about her book How to Raise an Adult and her excellent Slate podcast, Getting In. But now we get to talk to her, about preparing our children for college and life beyond. [If you click on the links in this post and buy something, we may earn a small commission.] This Week's Links Intro (0:00:11) Rebecca Levey, KidzVuz Amy Oztan, Amy Ever After Andrea Smith, technology guru extraordinaire Julie Lythcott-Haims How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims Real American: A Memoir, by Julie Lythcott-Haims Interview with Julie Lythcott Haims (00:02:08) Bytes of the Week (00:23:33) Chasten Buttigieg’s Relentlessly Cheery Twitter Is the Best Thing to Come Out of the 2020 Election, by R. Eric Thomas Ain’t Too Proud — The Life and Times of The Temptations Ain’t Too Proud, Original Broadway Cast Recording Temptations, by Otis Williams Outsourcing Adulthood: Can you ever really grow up if you don’t do anything for yourself? by Maureen O’Connor – The Cut Takl App Subscribe! Have you subscribed to Parenting Bytes in iTunes? Never miss an episode! Are you following us on Facebook? It's a great way to see what we're reading (including articles that might show up in future episodes), ask us questions, and give us feedback. You can go to the Parenting Bytes website for an interactive transcript of this episode.

Katie Lowes talks to Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of The New York Times best-seller How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Lythcott-Haims breaks down what it means to overparent, and the impact it has on kids and society as a whole. They also discuss some helpful strategies on how to stop helicopter parenting in its tracks, so you can raise children who become independent adults that can fend for themselves in the real world. 

This week we have a special conversation with Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Find out more about Julie Lythcott-Haims on her website, www.julielythcotthaims.com. -- Interested in learning more? You can buy Julie's new book, Time to Parent, here: bit.ly/timetoparentbook. You can also visit juliemorgenstern.com for more tips and tools.

This week is Charles Barkley week. Since apparently we are just going to reference our favorite basketball player every week. Though seriously, we talk about "How to Raise and Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success" by Julie Lythcott- Haims. She has a great TedTalk that you can listen to here, or you can purchase the book here. It is a wonderful book that really has given us a lot to think about as we are raising all these kids, and what the negative repercussions of overparenting look like. For example, she talked to the creator of this viral video: We are Millenials. We Suck, and we're sorry. And it's hilarious, and it's the face of what goes wrong when you overparent and raise entitled kids.  So, how should you parent your kids to be adults? Read this book. Listen to this podcast. Talk to your friends. Make some changes. Although, we said something in this episode which can easily be misconstrued, so let me clear the air here: When talking about what we want for our foster kids, we said we want them to be healthy and happy. That's first and foremost. Because they have come from hard places, we don't place a lot of expectation on them. Not because we don't think they can achieve much. Not because we don't think they are as good as our bio kids. It's because we want them to just be kids. And then it makes us realize that we should want that for all our kids. Our bio kids too. Being an adult is hard. Let's let kids be kids, without forcing them into adulthood too quickly. And with that being said, there are still things we can do for our kids, while they are kids, that will properly train them to be great adults one day. Like doing chores, learning to take initiative, speaking up for themselves, and so much more. In this age of overparenting, we "remove risk, pain, and accountability" from our children's lives. We have to find that sweet balance of letting kids be kids, without raising adults who are still childish.   The (Good) Word of the Day: "You make known to me the path of life;     you will fill me with joy in your presence,     with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16:11 God is such a great Father. He makes known to us the path of life, and he fills us with joy by just being in his presence. And he is also filled with joy when we are in his presence. Because he is a great Father who loves us dearly. He doesn't care about our performance, or what we can do for him to make him look good. He simply loves us unconditionally.  Can we, as parents, love our kids in the same way? Can we love them no matter how they perform? Do our children feel filled with joy in our presence? Let us all work on loving all of our kids unconditionally! Connect on Social Media: If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at: Jihae Watson on Facebook Fostering Voices on Instagram Jihae Watson on Instagram AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!

This conversation with best-selling New York Times author and Ted talk speaker Julie Lythcott-Haims was over two years in the making and yet came just at the right time. Author of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success and Real American: A Memoir, Julie’s interested in the human experience and writes non-fiction, creative non-fiction, and poetry with the aim of helping humans thrive. She has a JD from Harvard Law School, an MFA in writing from California College of the Arts and holds her BA in American Studies from Stanford University, where she later returned to serve as Dean of Freshman and Undergraduate Advising, among other roles.  She currently lives in Silicon Valley with her partner of more than thirty years, her two teenagers, and her mother. Born to an African-American father and a British mother, Julie moved often in her childhood from Nigeria to New York to Wisconsin to Washington D.C., where her father was part of the Carter Administration, and then back to Wisconsin again. Along the way, she struggled to find her identity as a bi-racial woman who faced stereotypes and micro-aggressions about her blackness that sent her on a journey from self-loathing to self-love, something she reflects on with powerful honesty in her memoir. Themes of self-exploration, self-sufficiency and service weave thread through this incredibly enriching conversation with Julie. We discuss her healing journey with her mother and how that impacts how she parents her children today. Julie shares the lessons that she learned about how to successfully raise adults from her years as the Dean at Stanford and extensive research that informs her best-selling book and popular Ted talk on the subject. She reveals the way that she has daringly made career pivots that others thought were crazy, what’s next on the horizon for her, and how she may even create her own radio show one day. And, we talk candidly about her journey to embracing self-care, about her commitment to her partner of over thirty years, and to the impact on her body and sexuality of moving toward menopause. I was struck by Julie’s continued evolution in her own awareness, and her commitment to personal growth and to pursuing her own purposeful path, parallels evident in the wisdom she holds for us about how to raise our children to be healthy adults. Finally, I’m inspired by her bold challenge to us, to look at how stereotypes and biases about black people show up in ourselves, and to do the conscious work of taking them apart. This conversation is a powerful one that has already begun to shift my awareness. I look forward to hearing what Julie’s life lessons, wisdom, and revelations shift for you when you listen.  Much appreciation,  P.S. Know someone who you think would appreciate this episode? Push forward and share this conversation! In This Episode We Talk About: Julie’s journey of healing with her mother, now 80 years old, and how a third chapter of their relationship led to reciprocal learning across three generations, between Julie’s mother, Julie, and Julie’s daughter. What happens when our egos impact our parenting and the power of realizing that we are not our kids; they’re not a mini-me, a pet, a trophy or a bonsai tree. They are their own person. What Julie’s experience as a Stanford Dean taught her about how to raise adults, including the two most essential things she learned kids need: to do chores and to be loved. How a commitment to life-long learning inspired Julie to make daring career pivots, from attorney to school administrator to writer. The three more books  that Julie knows she has inside of her. Julie’s own evolution in her understanding of what self-care means and the ways that she invests in herself today. The practices Julie has committed to with her husband to keep their thirty plus year connection strong. The impact of peri-menopause and menopause in how we feel in our bodies and on our libido in particular, and my commitment to focus a future episode on this subject. The importance of becoming aware of the stereotypes we hold about black people and Julie’s challenge to us to consciously undo them. Resources and Topics Mentioned: Thriving Child Summit – Dr. Elisa Song’s Summit where I first learned about Julie. How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Real American: A Memoir Julie’s Ted Talk On How To Raise an Adult – the one Chris and I watched and then discussed with Ryan  Ep 05: Live your E.P.I.C. Life to Help Your Children Thrive – my conversation with Dr. Song from the Thriving Child Summit Ep 46: “Owning our Truth” with Renegade Mothering’s Janelle Hanchett Women Podcasters in Solidarity where you can find the episodes I recorded on the subjects of anti-racism and police brutality  This Episode is Dedicated by: Tamara Sobomehin, chasing the human dream, working to unleash the brilliance and potential of people by cultivating a culture of positive creation supported by the foundation of effective human and technical systems. Dedicated in honor of Tamara’s mother Paula Denise Lacy.   Street Code Academy – The organization Tamara runs with her husband Tunde.  Recharge Ravenswood – The website to learn more about Tamara’s campaign for Ravenswood City School Board.  Team Esface – The exceptional basketball program, founded by the Sobomehin brothers, that Ryan participated in and where we first met Tamara and her family.  This Week’s Challenge: For this week’s challenge, I encourage you to read Julie’s powerful memoir, The Real American, to explore the impact of stereotypes about black people on her life experience. Then, follow Julie’s invitation to notice when stereotypes about black people kick in for us. She says, “If you’re not loving black people, ask yourself why? Be interested in that. Black people are humans worthy of love, compassion and care like anybody else is. If you notice a stereotype kicks in when you see a black person, see if you can immediately say to yourself – what would I do if this was a white person? Or a person of any race other than black? When a stereotype pops up, name it and tell yourself I’m discarding it. Try interacting with that person as if they were your own brother, sister, grandmother, father, friend or family.”  It’s our job to acknowledge the impact of stereotypes and biases and undo it. Learn More About Julie: Julies Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Announcements: Mother’s Quest Circle If you’re on a quest to live an E.P.I.C. life, but you’ve been feeling challenged, isolated, or unsure of the path ahead, the Mother’s Quest Circle may be the source of connection you’re looking for. The Mother’s Quest Circle provides inspiration, coaching and community for an intimate group of no more than 10 women who are ready to say “yes” to: Reflect together, in a community of like-minded mothers, on what matters most To consciously live their version (not someone else’s) of an E.P.I.C. life To take bold action toward one of the E.P.I.C. life guideposts before the end of the sessions To hold space for sharing, coaching, and championing one another so we are “in community” on our journey If you’re looking to end the year strong, now is a great time to make an investment in yourself and what matters most to you. Apply here.  Say It. Sweat It. Get It. Challenge Sign up today to come along with me on Erin’s week-long challenge where she will give you super short, easy to follow workouts, that combine movement and mantras, to inspire you, physically, mentally and spiritually. During the challenge, I’ll release an episode on the podcast with Erin to give you insight into her journey and why movement plays such a powerful role in her life. Starts Mon. Nov. 5th! Sign up Today! Support the Podcast If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution. If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

In this illuminating conversation, Julie Lythcott-Haims shares the dangers and inevitable pitfalls of overparenting and the consequences on burgeoning young adults. Offering personal anecdotes about her own parenting faux pas, Lythcott-Haims warns parents about the unintended long-term consequences of hyper-managing their children and offers exceptional advice on how to pivot one’s parenting style toward the most important child-raising objective: capable men and women in charge of their own lives. Lythcott-Haims is a graduate of Stanford University and Harvard Law School the author of the New York Times best-selling book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (2015). She is deeply interested in what prevents people from living meaningful, fulfilling lives. How to Raise an Adult emerged from Julie’s decade as Stanford University’s Dean of Freshmen, where she was known for her fierce critique of the growing trend of parental involvement in the day-to-day lives of college students. How to Raise an Adult has been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top TED Talks of 2016 with over three million views.

"It’s hard to say which would be more discouraging: drifting from job to job because you’re always the first to be laid off, or laboring in monotonous obscurity at the same job. The first results from not doing what you are told to do, the second from doing only what you are told to do. You can “get by” for a time following either approach, but you will never get ahead. Personal initiative is more important in today’s enlightened, high-tech workplace than it was during the Industrial Age, when the ability to follow orders was a critical skill. As technology makes many supervisory functions obsolete, every one of us is expected to do more with less, determine what needs to be done, and do it. Don’t wait to be told. Know your company and your job so well that you can anticipate what needs to be done — then do it! Stop explaining and start doing!" --Napoleon Hill I know that quote is about our corporate journeys, but it is about so much more than that. We need to know our families so well that we can anticipate what needs to be done. We need to be conscientious of our offense as much as our defense. I mean, we need to work on our own "can do" plans that protect our families and intentionally shape us. We need to plant good seeds, but also weed our gardens. This episode is basically a summary of what I have been learning from my experience with this podcast. It is also a heads up that I will be concluding the season and will resume episodes again in the fall, with gusto! Remember: "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" (Winston Churchill). Here are a few resources I mention in this episode: “There appears to be ‘no other way’ to learn certain things except through the relevant, clinical experiences. Happily, the commandment ‘Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart’ (Matthew 11:29) carries an accompanying and compensating promise from Jesus—'and ye shall find rest unto your souls.’ This is a very special form of rest. It surely includes the rest resulting from the shedding of certain needless burdens: fatiguing insincerity, exhausting hypocrisy, and the strength-sapping quest for recognition, praise, and power. Those of us who fall short, in one way or another, often do so because we carry such unnecessary and heavy baggage. Being thus overloaded, we sometimes stumble and then feel sorry for ourselves…However, if sufficient meekness is in us, it will not only help us to jettison unneeded burdens, but will also keep us from becoming mired in the ooze of self-pity. Furthermore, true meekness has a metabolism that actually requires very little praise or recognition” (Neal A. Maxell) Episodes referenced: Waters + Bennet Bolaji Oyejide Kathy Mellor Wonder Crate - Developing Social/Emotional Skills Books referenced: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Outwitting the Devil: The Secret to Freedom and Success The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Pocketbook Guide to Fulfilling Your Dreams For a full list go here: BOOKS   Join the Family Success Toolkit Free Membership http://homeandfamilyculture.com

Tony Overbay and Jonathan Alva discuss the book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims. Julie Lythcott-Haims served as dean of freshmen and undergraduate advising at...

“If you’re overfocused on your kid, you’re quite likely under-focusing on your own passion. Despite what you may think, your kid is not your passion. If you treat them as if they are, you’re placing them in the very untenable and unhealthy role of trying to bring fulfillment to your life. Support your kid’s interests, yes. Be proud—very proud—of them. But find your own passion and purpose. For your kid’s sake and your own, you must.”  ― Julie Lythcott-Haims, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success       Author of NYT bestseller How to Raise an Adult.  TED talk on overparenting a “Top Talk of 2016". Mom of two teens with my partner of 30 years. Former Stanford dean. Former corporate lawyer     JulieLythcottHaims.com

How is American Identity shaped, when you grow up here — and succeed here — yet still get asked “where you’re from”?New York Times best-selling author Julie Lythcott-Haims joins American Enough to discuss how skin color, values, and tough truths about our nation have shaped what it means to be a Real American.As the descendant of slave owners and the daughter of a bi-racial marriage, Julie often states that she’s So American It Hurts. In her most recent book, she highlights the racism, the micro-agressions and dominant narratives which shape the virtues of citizenship and identity in the United States. Julie Lythcott-Haims is the author of the best-selling book r Success (2015)and Real American: A Memoir (2017). She is deeply interested in what prevents people from living meaningful, fulfilling lives.New York Times How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid fo How to Raise an Adult emerged from Julie’s decade as Stanford University’s Dean of Freshmen, where she was known for her fierce advocacy for young adults and her critique of the growing trend of parental involvement in the day-to-day lives of college students. She received the university’s Lloyd W. Dinkelspiel Award for creating “atmosphere that defines the undergraduate experience, and toward the end of her tenure as dean she began speaking and writing widely on the harm of helicopter parenting. has been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top TED Talks of 2016 as well as a sequel which will be out in 2018.the” How to Raise an Adult  Real details Julie’s personal battle with the low self-esteem that American racism routinely inflicts on people of color. The child of an African-American father and a white British mother, Julie shows how microaggressions in addition to blunt-force insults can puncture a person’s inner life with a thousand sharp cuts.  expresses also, through Julie’s path to self-acceptance, the healing power of community in overcoming the hurtful isolation of being incessantly considered “the other.” AmericanReal American Julie is a graduate of Stanford University, Harvard Law School, and California College of the Arts. She lives in Silicon Valley with her partner of over twenty five years, their two teenagers, and her mother.

Julie Lythcott-Haims discusses her NY Times Best Seller: HOW TO RAISE AN ADULT: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success.

Julie Lythcott-Haims is the author of the New York Times best-selling book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. The book emerged from her decade as Stanford University's Dean of Freshmen, where she was known for her fierce advocacy for young adults and received the university's Lloyd W. Dinkelspiel Award for creating “the” atmosphere that defines the undergraduate experience, and was also known for her fierce critique of the growing trend of parental involvement in the day-to-day lives of college students. Toward the end of her tenure as dean she began speaking and writing widely on the harm of helicopter parenting. How to Raise an Adult is being published in over two dozen countries, and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top TED Talks of 2016 as well as a sequel which will be out in 2018. In the meantime, her memoir on race, Real American, will be out in Fall 2017. Julie is a graduate of Stanford University, Harvard Law School, and California College of the Arts. She lives in Silicon Valley with her partner of over twenty five years, their two teenagers, and her mother. Julie will be speaking at an event in Toronto on September 26 on the topic of helicopter parenting. Click the link for more info: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/lincwell-speaker-series-julie-lythcott-haims-tickets-37314958044?aff=es2 To find Julie on twitter: @DeanJulie And her website: http://www.howtoraiseanadult.com

Julie Lythcott-Haims served as Stanford University’s Dean of Freshmen for a decade. She received the Dinkelspiel Award for her contributions to the undergraduate experience. She’s a mother of two teenagers and has spoken and written widely on the phenomenon of helicopter parenting. She is also the author of the book How To Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. In this episode, Stew and Julie discuss helicoptering parents and the harm they are doing to their children and society. Julie asserts that over-parenting deprives children of essential life skills needed to survive in the adult worlds of work, family, and community. She illustrates the effects of over-parenting on the emotional and intellectual development of the next generation of adults in our society. Julie then gives practical advice for parents, like making the shift away from the pronoun “we” when talking about their kids and learning to stop arguing with teachers or coaches on behalf of their children. This conversation is timely, in light of runaway college tuitions, competitive preschool admittance, and the deterioration of the Y Generation’s mental health. Click here for the transcript. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Check out some highlights from the Savvy Psychologist's recent interview with Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Read the full transcript here: http://bit.ly/2b81cha

A local group called Raising Resilience is bringIng an acclaimed author to meet Bainbridge parents and high school teens. In this special 20-minute podcast, we meet that dynamic author, Julie Lythcott-Haims, and Cezanne Allen of Raising Resilience. Julie, as a New York Times bestselling author of “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success”, will be speaking to parents, educators and interested adults on Wednesday, February 3rd at 7:30pm at the Commons auditorium of Bainbridge High School. She will also address students at BHS the following morning. From her 10 years as Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, Lythcott-Haims noticed a significant increase in parental involvement in students' lives. Parents were exerting increasing control over their children's academic work, extracurricular and career choices, and daily life decision making. She noticed “increasing numbers of students who, as a result of hyperattentive parenting, lacked a strong sense of self and were poorly equipped to handle the demands of adult life.” Such over-involved parenting, affectionately known as “helicopter parents” (for their hovering prowess), has been an evolving phenomena since the Baby Boom generation began raising children. The effect has been kids who feel under pressure to succeed in terms they have not yet defined, but who do not learn life skills to succeed in the most basic ways because their parents have taken care of every little thing. Lythcott-Haims' book offers an alternative to over-parenting, over-helping, over-scheduling. Clearly, her message has resonated strongly across the country since she is frequently asked to speak in communities everywhere, is being interviewed on the Today Show on January 25th, and has done a number of TEDx talks. Raising Resilience and the PTSO are co-sponsoring bringing Julie Lythcott-Haims to Bainbridge Island to speak about the important and valuable lessons we need to hear to help our kids thrive and grow on their own into adept, successful adults.   Register at the Raising Resilience website for what promises to be an inspiring talk. Copies of the book will be available for sale and signing that evening. Credits: BCB host: Channie Peters; BCB audio editor: Tim Bird; BCB social media publisher: Barry Peters.

Episode 085: Jessica Lahey – Why Your Parenting Style Is Wrong Jessica Lahey is an extremely intelligent leader.  She truly understands the importance of an intense focus on continuous improvement.  Learning more about the most important job we (parents) will ever have is imperative to me.  Jessica shares detailed, research backed evidence to how we can better lead our children.  We are extremely fortunate to have Jessica share her knowledge with us, the loyal listeners of The Learning Leader Show.  Jessica Lahey is an educator, author, and speaker. She writes "The Parent-Teacher Conference" column for the New York Times, is a contributing writer for The Atlantic, and a commentator for Vermont Public Radio. Her new book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed is a New York Times bestseller. Episode 085: Jessica Lahey – Why Your Parenting Style Is Wrong Subscribe on iTunes  or Stitcher Radio The Learning Leader Show “If your daughter forgets her homework on the kitchen table, should you take it to her?  Or should you allow her to fail and face the consequences?” Some Questions I Ask: What are the common characteristics of leaders who have sustained excellence over time? What are your thoughts on kids “playing up” a level in sports as a means to experience failure? Why do parents always publish pictures of their kids smiling perfectly on Facebook? Why is it a terrible idea to reward your kids for getting straight A’s How do you handle household duties?  How do you ensure stuff gets done? How do you discipline your children? How can we think long term when we see our children suffering? What does being a learning leader mean to you?   In This Episode, You Will Learn: Not getting overwhelmed by the enormity of a task… A “ how to” “Playing Up” and the power of playing against great competition and failing Not doing the homework for your children… Why? Facebook and why people only show their highlight reel and why it’s bad for children How giving your child a reward (money, toys, etc…) for getting good grades can hurt them long term Setting specific expectations – A How To Thinking Long Term… The importance of taking a complicated message and making it clear “Extrinsic Motivators Can Be Really Harmful For Creativity And Learning” Continue Learning: Go To Jessica’s website: com Read: The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed Read: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Follow Jess on Twitter: @jesslahey You may also like these episodes: Episode 001: How To Become A Master Connector With Jayson Gaignard From MasterMind Talks Episode 034: Jimmy Hatch – Shot While Searching For Bowe Bergdahl And Sky Diving With Gabby Giffords Episode 004: How Todd Wagner (and Mark Cuban) Sold Broadcast.com To Yahoo! For $5.7 Billion Episode 010: Shane Snow – How To Accelerate Success Using Smart Cuts Did you enjoy the podcast? This was a jam packed episode full of great content.  Jessica Lahey is leader who is constantly learning in order to help us all live a better life. Who do you know that needs to hear this?  Send them to The Learning Leader Show! Episode edited by the great J Scott Donnell Bio From JessicaLahey.com Jessica Lahey is an educator, author, and speaker. She writes "The Parent-Teacher Conference" column for the New York Times, is a contributing writer for The Atlantic, and a commentator for Vermont Public Radio. Her new book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed is a New York Times bestseller.

Author and former Stanford University dean Julie Lythcott-Haims joins us to talk about her new book, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Julie's message is a welcome wake-up call to parents to step back so your kids can step up.   The Parents Phrase Book author Whit Honea joins with his encouragement for parents who want to avoid the helicopter parenting trap.

Show #94, Hour 1 | Guests: Julie Lythcott-Haims, writer and academic. | Show Summary: A bracing look at the issue of overparenting. Angie sits down with author Julie Lythcott-Haims, Dean of Freshman at Stanford University, to discuss how things got so out of control, and what to do about it.

As a way to prepare for the world of work, the paths to college and how to succeed in college are highly diverse. Evan and Todd draw from their own experiences and get advice from Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Freshman Dean at Stanford University and the author of the book, “How To Raise AnAdult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success".