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3 episodes with Laurel School
2 episodes with Laurel School
2 episodes with Laurel School
3 episodes with Laurel School
6 episodes with Laurel School
Send us a textOn Friday, April 11, over 300 high school students from across northeast Ohio gathered for the 2025 NEO Youth Climate Summit, hosted by Laurel School and Global Shapers Cleveland. The event brought students together to discuss and collaborate on solutions for climate change, sustainability, and environmental justice.The summit was kicked off with a keynote address by a young climate activist, Sage Lenier. Sage was honored by TIME Magazine as a 2023 Next Generation Leader. She started teaching about climate change while still a student at UC Berkeley and has since founded her own non-profit, Sustainable and Just Future. In this episode, we share her message to the students. Hear what one Gen Z'er has to say to young environmental leaders about meeting the future with excitement and innovative solutions. And hear from Angela Yeager, a teacher whose students in Laurel School's Environmental Justice Semester planned the event. Organizers called it a "beaming light for young people demanding change in the face of the climate crisis." And it was. Thanks for listeneing. Follow us: https://www.facebook.com/ecospeaksclehttps://www.instagram.com/ecospeakscleContact us:hello@ecospeakscle.com
Send us a textCarey Jaros brings passion for our Purpose — Saving Lives and Making Life Better Through Well-Being Solutions — to her daily work at GOJO (the makers of Purell). Her focus is on continuously extending GOJO leadership as a market-making, growth-oriented Company that cares about the health and well-being of people worldwide and within its walls. Carey joined GOJO in 2014 as a board member, then held executive roles as Chief Strategy Officer – where she oversaw Marketing, Product Management, and Innovation – and as Chief Operating Officer before becoming President and CEO in January 2020.As an operator, investor, and board member, Carey has worked on and in more than 50 organizations— from established public and private companies, to startups and non-profits. Prior to GOJO, Carey was the President of Walnut Ridge Strategic Management Company, and was a Vice President at Dealer Tire, a large privately held tire distributor. She spent the first 12 years as a management consultant at Bain & Company.Carey is a Board Director of Grocery Outlet (NASDAQ: GO) and an Advisory Board Member of venture-backed menstrual products startup Aunt Flow. She also serves on the Boards of The Cleveland Foundation, University Hospitals, and Laurel School.Carey received her A.B. in Public Policy from Brown University and an MBA from Harvard Business School. She and her husband live in Northeast Ohio with their three children.A Quote "We have a whole-systems approach to social, environmental, and economic sustainability, including certification as a WBE, product certifications, and a vertically integrated supply chain. With our strong foundation in place, we're advancing our Sustainable Value strategy and action plan."Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeBook - The Journey Home: Autobiography of an American SwamiWebsite - Frances Frei and Anne MorrissBook - Unleashed by Frances Frei and Anne MorrissTed Talk - How to Build (and Rebuild) Trust by Frances FreiPodcast - Fixable About The International Leadership Association (ILA)The ILA was created in 1999 to bring together professionals interested in studying, practicing, and teaching leadership. Plan for Prague - October 15-18, 2025!About Scott J. AllenWebsiteWeekly Newsletter: Practical Wisdom for LeadersBlogMy Approach to HostingThe views of my guests do not constitute "truth." Nor do they reflect my personal views in some instances. However, they are views to consider, and I hope they help you clarify your perspective. Nothing can replace your reflection, research, and exploration of the topic.
www.annvklotz.comhttps://x.com/AnnKlotzhttps://www.instagram.com/AVKcle/Shout outs to -Laurel School faculty and dept. chairs led by director of teaching and learning , Megan Weiskopf-the good work on One School house - Online school for girls-Well SchooledRecommend a guest here Music by AudioCoffee: https://www.audiocoffee.net/
For more than two decades, The City Club of Cleveland has hosted the annual High School Debate Championship.rnrnEvery year, the top two area high school debaters square off in a classic "Lincoln-Douglas" style debate at a Friday forum. This allows the debaters to compete-not only for the judges and audience in the room-but also for our radio and television audiences.rnrnThe debaters will be Max Zukerman of Solon High School, coached by Trina Castro and Matt Hill; and Brooke Gemechu of Hawken School, coached by Robert Shurtz and Eva Lamberson.rnrnThe finalists will debate the topic Resolved: The primary objective of the United States criminal justice system ought to be rehabilitation.rnrnJudging the debate are Corinne Lashley, Speech and Debate Coach at Chagrin Falls HS; Rich Kawolics, OSDA Hall of Fame Speech and Debate Coach at Laurel School; and Artis A. Arnold III, Managing Director at Huntington National Bank and City Club Board Member.rnrnOn behalf of BakerHostetler, we are honored to support this annual tradition in memory of Patrick Jordan--a lawyer, fierce protector of democracy and free speech, and a championship debater himself.
“What we know is that strong, powerful relationships with trusted adults are a protective factor for girls at all levels of development.” (Dr. Tori Cordiano) Girls love to be connected; they are all about relationships, connections in both real and symbolic ways with the world and everything in it. Girls have relationships with peers, with food, with their bodies, with nature, with music, with exercise, with their social media..with their voices. For girls, the proactive management of all these connections is critical to their sense of wellbeing. It is through healthy relationships that girls feel connected to all that makes them whole. As importantly, the reverse of this is also true: when girls are disconnected from their peers, from their bodies, from caring adults, from nature, from sleep they feel afloat, untethered, vulnerable, less than. In this first episode of The Connected Girls series, you are invited into a conversation that explores what we know for sure about the power of healthy–and unhealthy–connections in the lives of the girls. To launch this important journey, join Dr. Tori Cordiano, a consulting psychologist and the director of research at Laurel School's Center for Research on Girls in Cleveland, Ohio, and host Trudy Hall as they unpack critical terms and demystify the language and the realities of connection and disconnection for girls. This episode lays the groundwork for a six episode series that has been curated with girls at the center and includes the voices of girls themselves sharing their insights about the connections in their lives. After a listen, you will want to stay connected to The Connected Girl series! Resources: Laurel's Center for Research on Girls: https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/ International Coalition for Girls Schools: https://girlsschools.org/ Wycombe High YouTube Tell Our Story :https://girlsschools.org/advocacy/blog/2022/07/13/the-icgs-community-poem/ National Coalition of Girls' Schools · Transcript: Forging Powerful Relationships, with Dr. Tori Cordiano.pdf — PDF (98.7 KB)
We have a special episode for you today. In our ongoing commitment to amplify voices, particularly our youth who are doing amazing things, we get to hear from two young ladies, Laina Digeronimo and Eva Ko, who are students at Laurel School, an all-girls high school in Ohio. They just finished their first environmental justice semester in school, and they are sharing a conversation that they had with the founder of Redhouse Studio, a pioneer in sustainable architecture and construction. These young ladies did a great job with their episode, and I know that you are going to enjoy it! Resources: Environmental Justice Semester at the Laurel SchoolLaurel School on InstagramRedhouse Studio Connect with our Environmental Justice Lab community: Instagram: @envjusticelab Facebook: www.facebook.com/EnvironmentalJusticeLabEmail: theenvironmentaljusticelab@gmail.comDon't forget to subscribe and rate the podcast wherever you listen!
Crisis Management in the Wealth Space Lawyers, Accountants, Wealth Advisers and other advisers – are used to dealing with difficult situations all at the heart of their specialty. But often, the advice the clients need goes past the wealth arena . . . . How do you help them when you hear situations like this? My son shows no drive and won't get up from bed- My daughter is cutting herself- My brother just got his second DUI this year and is running the business into the ground- The trustee of my trust has missed filing taxes and is making mistakes- What do you do when you are the first point of contact, but out of your expertise? What happens when the family is in crisis and devastating wealth impacts are in view? What happens when it's not in your business model or expertise to deal with this part of the family's issues? How do you do the right thing by your client and yourself? JANE MINTZ is the person to help us deal with this gaping hole in the wealth management industry. Jane is an internationally respected pioneer who has spent 20 years working with individuals and families around crises related to addictive illness, mental health, and life concerns. Best known for her work as a concierge strategist guiding clinically complex individuals and their families through extraordinary challenges, she is also a noted thought leader, industry consultant, educator, and speaker who has garnered international recognition. Jane has extensive experience working with family businesses and private family wealth offices so that the dysfunctions of today do not destroy the legacies of tomorrow. Jane is a Licensed Professional Counselor with multiple dimension training credentials in high acuity clinical clients. She is a Laurel School graduate (Cleveland, OH) with degrees from Washington University (St. Louis, MO) and John Carroll University (Cleveland, OH). https://open.spotify.com/episode/6s4CX5W9qxMtXwRRbBOtUi?si=zvatryXoRUadZirFtJJO4w Outline Jane, in a couple of sentences, what do you do as Professional Counselor- How is your expertise applied to the wealth space? (Family Businesses and Wealth Offices/Trustees) Crisis What constitutes a crisis? What is the difference between a crisis and a mistake (or “growing pains”)? How does a financial advisor, coworker, wealth manager know when to intervene? What are we looking for signs and symptoms that someone needs help: Misspending Not showing up for appointments Missed deadlines Disruption in workplace Missed work Inability to participate in large planning matters The Intersection of Being a "Fiduciary" and Getting a Client the Help They Need? What is a fiduciary relationship? vs. Human Ethics? When do human ethics supersede fiduciary ethics? How can a clinical strategist be a key collaborator in bridging the gap between the two? What does a professional counselor do? What happens when a client is introduced to to a Counselor? What are reasonable expectations? For the family? For the Adviser? What does progress look like? How do you set up the structures for long term success? Where does the Adviser fit in that process? How do we stay in touch and how do listeners find you? JANEMINTZ.COM Books Mentioned . . . . https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319 "Frazer Rice is an employee of Next Capital Management, LLC. This podcast is not investment, legal, or tax advice, nor does it reflect the opinions of Next Capital Management. Any opinions represented in the show are Frazer's individually and not an endorsement of the guest." https://www.amazon.com/Wealth-Actually-Intelligent-Decision-Making-1-ebook/dp/B07FPQJJQT/
For more than two decades, The City Club of Cleveland has hosted the annual High School Debate Championship.rnrnEvery year, the top two area high school debaters square off in a classic "Lincoln-Douglas" style debate at a Friday forum. This allows the debaters to compete-not only for the judges and audience in the room-but also for our radio and television audiences.rnrnThe debaters will be Kaitlyn Ernst of Laurel School, coached by Rachel Rothschild and Rich Kawolics; and Sam Bowen of Hawken School, coached by Robert Shurtz and Eva Lamberson.rnrnThe finalists will debate the topic Resolved: Justice requires open borders for human migration.
Jane Eigner Mintz, MA, LPC, is the CEO and Chief Clinical Strategist of her international consultancy firm, Realife Intervention Solutions, LLC, offering strategic direction for addiction, mental health, and life concerns. A veteran treatment provider and thought leader in the addiction and behavioral health industries, Jane authored The Field Model of Intervention, the first-ever clinical model of intervention now in use by practitioners and organizations across the United States and the United Kingdom. Best known for her work as a concierge strategist guiding clinically complex individuals and their families through crisis, she is also a noted industry consultant, educator, and speaker who has garnered international recognition. Jane is a Licensed Professional Counselor with multiple dimension training credentials in high acuity clinical clients. She is a Laurel School graduate (Cleveland, OH) and holds degrees from Washington University (St. Louis, MO.) and John Carroll University (Cleveland, OH). What You'll Learn ● What holds us back from reaching out? ● How to deal with the sense of shame. ● Defining and handling narcissism. ● The importance of asking for help. Timestamps · [04:45] Why Jane got into this space. · [10:05] How to know what you're looking at. · [14:51] What holds us back from reaching out? · [22:36] The sense of shame. · [32:12] Defining narcissism. · [38:05] When is Cannabis over the line? · [43:03] The importance of asking for help. Memorable Quotes · “If your gut is off, something's off.” – Jane Mintz [10:11] · “Shame is the most gripping force that anybody can combat.” – Jane Mintz [23:49] · “If you think you can outrun addiction, you're sorely mistaken.” – Jane Mintz [44:10] · “Secrets live in the dark.” – Jane Mintz [48:28] Resources: Chris@chrisyonker.com Social Media LinkedIn. Websites www.janemintz.com. Email: jane@janemintz.com.
I knew I had to interview this dynamic duo when I opened Instagram and saw 87 year old Ann Esselstyn pulling an 18 wheeler tire up the hill!! “Be a Plant Based Woman Warrior” is truly a perfect title for these two amazing, strong, healthy focused, mission driven women. This mother/daughter duo have dedicated their lives to empowering others to focus on plants to find better health. Both are accomplished authors and educators as well as mothers whose thoughtful action has stretched across many generations of family. They receive thousands of letters each week from men and women whose lives have been transformed by their work. Regardless of your dietary preferences you will have incredible takeaways from this episode, that you can apply not only to your plate, but your entire life. Bio: Ann Esselstyn, M.Ed. Ann is an author, educator, and motivational speaker in the plant-based arena. She graduated from Smith College and received a master's degree in education from Wheelock College. Ann taught English and some history for 27 years at Laurel School in Ohio. She stopped teaching in 2000 to focus on creating delicious and healthy recipes to prevent and reverse heart disease, and counseling patients with her husband, Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn, on how to follow a plant-based diet. Through the years, she juggled raising four children, teaching, and figuring out plant-based, oil-free ways to cook. Ann developed the recipes for the New York Times Best Seller, Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease and in 2014 she wrote The Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease Cookbook with her daughter Jane Esselstyn. Jane Esselstyn, RN Jane brings her perspective and passion as a woman, nurse, researcher, and mother to creating on-ramps to the plant-based way of life. She is an avid and inventive designer of plant-based recipes and the co-author of The Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease Cookbook with her next-door neighbor and mom, Ann, and The Engine 2 Cookbook with her brother, Rip. She also created the recipe section of #1 New York Times Best Seller, Plant-Strong by Rip Esselstyn. The Journal of Pediatrics recently published the study she worked on with the Cleveland Clinic, which observed the effects of a plant-based diet on pediatric obesity. A tireless champion for families and their health, Jane brings remarkable clarity, compassion, and humor to the table and presents a no-nonsense approach to raising plant-strong families. In This Episode We Discuss: Why have a Plant Based diet? The science behind Heart Disease The biggest dietary deficiency today is Fiber Secret ingredient brownies! The amazing stories of health recoveries they receive Nature made sweetness The greatness of greens A plant based diet can benefit your sexual health The energy for life at any age Kids perspective of a plant based life The amazing true taste of whole foods Free bonus video link with your book preorder! Resources: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JaneEsselstyn Website: https://www.dresselstyn.com/site/about/about-ann-jane-esselstyn/ https://janeesselstyn.com/ https://esselstynfamilyfoundation.org/the-esselstyn-story/esselstyn-family-history/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jane_esselstyn_rn/?hl=en Twitter:https://twitter.com/janeesselstyn?lang=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthcareisselfcare Be A Plant-Based Woman Warrior: Live Fierce, Stay Bold, Eat Delicious By Jane & Ann Esselstyn https://amzn.to/3e95f0b The Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease Cookbook: Over 125 Delicious, Life-Changing, Plant-Based Recipes By Ann & Jane Esselstyn https://amzn.to/3pUaV0H Connect with Jayne: Website: https://www.jaynewilliams.com/ Instagram: @jayne_williamswellness https://www.instagram.com/jayne_williamswellness/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jaynewilliamswellness/
New #TeesMe podcast episode alert with Jamie Taylor of Black Golf Directory What You'll Hear From passion to product, the Black Golf Directory - BGD Centralizing and uniting the Black Golf Community online Taking a step backwards, can be the pathway to greater opportunity The launch of BGD Job Listings, active diversity work - Golf ain't cheap, it's a down payment on a house High-Five Friday is the embodiment of “it takes a village” BGD Empowerment Academies - teaching what it takes to make it in golf Supporting the next great golfer, like Sisters Across America does Driving innovation in the industry, like Sports Agencies and the needs of an elite golfer Let's show them the money, write checks (or venmo/cashapp/zelle)“what really changes the game is investing in our youth” Jamie Taylor - Jamie's golf journey from Tennis to Golf, a family affair The business case for diversity in Golf - The impact of past messaging & the embedded mindset surrounding golf Real advice on profitability for golf course owners, the full experience matters (website, signage, practice areas) @girlscouts teaching us all the power of entrepreneurship - day to day staff grows the game of golf, the origin of JTMobile training Being an entrepreneur means learning to say no - Jamie's golf game and keeping up with her skills Most memorable golf story - her first golf tournament life lessons happen in golf CTA: put $5 on a future golfer for High-5 Friday ************************* What you should know: www.BlackGolfDirectory.com www.jtmobiletraining.com Mentions: @jtmobiledirectory @blackgolfdirectory @mostacksbirdies @orcabags @billDickey #manakikigolf @clevemetroparks @mountdoragolfclub @LPGAinternational @girlscouts ************************* BIO Jamie Taylor, LPGA, is an alumnae of Laurel School in Cleveland, OH. There she started her quest in growing the game of golf by starting the golf team her junior year. She was inducted into the Laurel School Sports Hall of Fame for this contribution. After high school, she attended Gannon University in Erie, PA, where she received a full ride to play on the women's varsity team. As the only African American in her conference; she served as captain her junior and senior year; was president of the Student Athletic Advisory Committee (SAAC); and received her MBA. Her career as an LPGA Teaching and Club Professional began when she was hired as the first female Head Golf Professional for the Cleveland Metroparks in Cleveland, OH. There she ran 27-hole and 36-hole golf courses. During her tenure, she created several women's golf initiatives which were recognized by the Ohio Parks and Recreation, Crain's Business Magazine, and the African American Golfers Digest. In 2015, Jamie decided she wanted to make a bigger impact on the golf community and moved to Florida, where she was the Programs Manager for the LPGA Foundation. In 2018, Jamie started her first company, JT Mobile Training, to help other golf professionals learn how to attract and retain clients of diverse backgrounds. In 2020, Jamie created the Black Golf Directory website and in November she became a full-time entrepreneur! Her number one focus now is to continue to diversify golf, as well as, use her skills to help in growing other industries. Listen on Apple, Spotify, Google https://anchor.fm/TeesMe #TeesMe #podcast #storiesNeedToBeTold #untoldStories #golf #femalegolfers #ladiesGolf #womensgolf #blackGolfers #blackGolfMatters #2022 #IN18 #IN18Ways #entrepreneur #diversityTraining #equity #inclusion #training #golfPro #youthGolfers #LPGA #Cleveland #blackGolfDirectory #legacy #JamieTaylorInvitational #yepIsaidIt --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Betsy Mitchell is a former American competition swimmer who was a world record-holder, world champion, and Olympic gold and silver medalist. She also was a member of the United States' 1994 Rowing World Championship team. Mitchell represented the United States at two consecutive Olympic Games. At the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, she won a silver medal for her second-place performance in the women's 100-meter backstroke, finishing with a time of 1:02.63. She also earned a gold medal by swimming the backstroke leg for the winning U.S. team in the preliminary heats of the women's 4×100-meter medley relay. After the 1984 Olympics, Mitchell transferred to the University of Texas at Austin, and swam for the Texas Longhorns swimming and diving team from 1985 to 1988. She won nine NCAA titles, and was a member of the Longhorns NCAA national championship teams in 1986, 1987 and 1988. Mitchell received the Honda Sports Award for Swimming and Diving 1987–88, and was inducted into the Texas Longhorns Hall of Honor in 2000. She set an American and world record in the 200-meter backstroke at the 1986 World Championship Trials (2:08.60). The world record stood for five years. The American record stood for 19 years. Swimming World Magazine named her as its American Female Swimmer of the Year in 1986. She again competed at the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, South Korea. She received a silver medal for swimming the backstroke leg for the second-place U.S. team in the women's 4×100-meter medley relay in the preliminary heats. Individually, she also swam in the final of the women's 100-meter backstroke, finishing fourth in the final with a time of 1:02.71. She was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame as an "Honor Swimmer" in 1998. Mitchell has a bachelor's and master's degree in education, specializing in sports administration, from the University of Texas at Austin. She also completed a one-year program at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, earning a certificate in educational administration, planning and policy. She started her career as the women's swimming coach at Dartmouth College from 1990 to 1996. She then served from 1997 to 2003 as the director of athletics at Laurel School for Girls in Shaker Heights, Ohio. Mitchell was then the director of athletics and recreation at Allegheny College in Meadville, Pennsylvania from 2005 to 2011. She is currently the director of athletics, physical education, and recreation at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, California. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/tim-rice4/support
In this episode of Real Talk, KJK Student & Athlete Defense Attorneys Susan Stone and Kristina Supler are joined by Dr. Mark McConville, a renowned clinical psychologist and author experienced in parenting and child development, as well as adult, adolescent, emerging adult and family psychology. They discuss the struggle many young adults experience transitioning from adolescence to adulthood - a phenomenon Dr. McConville has labeled Failure to Launch. The conversation includes how this struggle came about, tips for parents to help their children get through it and anecdotal advice. Transcript: Susan Stone: Welcome back to Real Talk with Susan Stone and Kristina Supler. We're full-time moms and attorneys, bringing our student defense legal practice to life with real, candid conversations. Today's topic is Failure to Launch. Kristina Supler: We're so pleased today to be joined by Dr. Mark McConville. Dr. McConville is a family clinical psychologist in private practice here in Cleveland, Ohio. He's lectured and published on child development and parenting across the country. And within his private practice, he has really earned a reputation as the preeminent psychologist for working with patients, young adults, primarily, who are struggling with this adolescent to adult transition, a phenomenon he's labeled Failure to Launch. So we are so pleased to be joined today by Mark McConville. Susan Stone: I do have to add, welcome, Dr. McConville… Dr. Mark McConville: Thank you. Thank you. Susan Stone: ... his wife was my daughter, Alex's kindergarten teacher. Dr. McConville, we know you're a famous author, but to me you are Mrs. McConville's husband. Dr. Mark McConville: That's right. It's like being married to a rock star. We can't go into a restaurant without some young person jumping up across the way and coming over and giving a big kindergarten hug. Kristina Supler: That's so sweet. Susan Stone: I love that. Kristina and I had the pleasure of ordering your book on Amazon. And I still remember Kristina coming in that morning, and when I got to the final chapter, and I read that letter you wrote to 20 somethings, and I read the excerpt from your mother, I just started to cry. I could not stop crying. I just want you to know that. And I said to Kristina, maybe it's because I have two kids now out of college, and one who is a sophomore, but your book made me think about my own parenting, myself going through emerging adulthood, and then all of our clients, and it just brought just a torrential amount of tears. Kristina Supler: I so enjoyed the book as well. I have a son and a daughter, they're younger. They're not in high school, but nonetheless through our legal practice and what Susan and I deal with every day, sort of know what lies ahead. And I was so struck by your approach in the book. You demonstrated such kindness towards these young adults who are struggling. And while your advice I think was so rooted in sound psychological theories, I also love that it just had such an element of practicality to it. Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. That's what comes with being at any line of work for a long time, you begin to tease out what sounds elegant, but isn't really useful. And you discover all kinds of things that are quite ordinary, but are very useful, put in the right context. And one of them, Susan, I certainly did not intend my readers to cry heavily. But I really had in mind that people would understand more compassionately what these people are going through. If I put myself in the shoes of being a client, and over the course of my life I have done, several times. But if I don't feel gotten, if I don't feel that I'm talking with a counselor who gets where I'm coming from, they don't have to necessarily agree with everything I say or think. But if I feel understood, I am so much more available for change. And so that's the part of the premise of the book is that these kids often feel, whether it's true or not, they often feel that their parents don't understand them. And they'll come in and complain about that to a therapist. But when the parent can get to that place of, I can identify with what they're going through. I can see the poor choices, but I understand them better, kids are much more amenable to the parents' strategies and intervention. So, thanks for the shout-out. Susan Stone: Thank you for that. Can you help our readers and listeners, because we do put it out both in written and we put our podcast out, understand, how do you define failure to launch? Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. I first have to tell you, I objected to that title, but the publishers were adamant. They said, that's what we're calling it at the office. And I knew there'd been a movie by that title. My original title was Getting a Life, as in, get a life. But they said that's a little too subtle. It'll be lost on some people. There is a developmental transition from the world of adolescence to the world of emerging adulthood. And they are very different worlds. Adolescence is organized largely around high school life. Even if you're a disinterested student, it's still in many ways, it's the town square where you live. And that life is organized, plotted out and overseen by adults, by educators. It has evolved over the course of a century and a half. And so while they don't know it, they're living a little bit in The Truman Show. There's a structure to the framework of their being. And when they transition out of that, they often find themselves at sea. Just to give a simple example, there are so many things that growing up, even if you are, let's say you are a highly responsible, effective 11th grader, still, so much of the administrative management of your life has been taken care of by adults. And then that whole college application process starts. And all of a sudden you're expected to fill out forms, solicit teachers for recommendation letters, communicate with the college about roommate selection, et cetera, et cetera. And we'll see these highly competent kids just stall out, because it's a new set of ground rules. And that is often their first introduction. Or for kids who aren't college bound, maybe that first job, the job interview, having responsibilities that actually matter to a store or a restaurant. You really are transformed. If you make it through that transition by age, let's say 25 or 28, you have a whole different sense of yourself, in a sort of fledgling way, but as competent, as knowing more or less what you're doing. And in that transition, you are fraught with experiences of not really having a clue what you're doing. And unfortunately, and this is true more for males than females, often resistant to the kind of support and guidance that would make things much easier. Kristina Supler: That's really interesting, the resistance to support and guidance. And I love at the beginning of the book, you make this observation that's just so insightful and in line with what Susan and I are seeing in our law practice every day. You say that kids today, they worry more and they risk less, which really ultimately contributes and leads to anxiety, depression. And I know, Susan, wouldn't you agree, every day we're dealing with students who are depressed, anxious. They have ADHD. They've been in therapy. I mean, don't you think they're- Susan Stone: They're frozen. We see kids who get to a point where they just freeze. They can't get out of bed. They can't go to school. And then we see the parents trying to overcompensate and say that's okay. And then when you hear the okay, it reinforces it. And then they need a legal defense, and we need them to participate and help us. And then we're told that they can't because being with us is too upsetting. And we're like, wait, we've got to be able to do our job with your child. And it leads to this cycle. Kristina Supler: I'm just curious to hear your feedback on what got us to this point or contributed to this trend where adolescents and young adults, they're afraid to take risks and everyone's anxious? How did we get here? Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. Well, first a comment about the thing of parents, is supporting their kids and not meeting with the two of you. That's very telling. I would not, having met the two of you now, I would not see you as particularly terrifying representatives of the adult world or the real world. I know you're doing serious business, but you both seem to have a very receptive kind of gentle good listening sort of way. So for a parent to say, I have to protect my kid from that experience, tells you the equation is not balanced. There's something out of whack here. The question of how this came about is we could do a symposium on it, because it has a lot to do with how the world has changed from say the time that I was their age. When I was their age, 30% of high school graduates went to college. Today it's more like 70%. When I was their age, had I chosen, I could have taken a bus across town, gone to the employment office at Kodak, and had been making a living wage within a month, bought my first car within three or four months. I could have down payment on a small bungalow by the time I'm 20. I mean, those were options. Those really aren't options today. The amount of education that you need just to get a foothold. And if you talk to kids with good four year educations from good schools, and while some of them land terrific, interesting jobs, many of them are extremely frustrated because the job opportunities, if they can find them, they don't meet their fantasy. Remember, this is the generation that we encouraged dream. Laurel School, dream, dare, do. And it's a wonderful inspiration that we're giving. And I think most kids absorb it and utilize it. You're seeing the ones and I'm seeing the ones who that lofty aspiration becomes a millstone around their neck. I'm not going to live up to that. And so it's harder growing up. Everything you look at, from the cost of housing to the salaries, wages have gone steadily down since 1970. You have to be a much more sophisticated being to make your way in the world. And because of that, your generation of parents, yours specifically, has been the most supportive generation in history. And that's not a knock, that's praise. Because we do in fact have kids who are willing to soar. Why can't I go to medical school? Why can't I become an international business expert? Kids have lofty aspirations. Many of them meet them. I like to look at sports. I have a 13 year old granddaughter who just happens ... Doesn't happen to be, her extraordinary focus and hard work, is a tremendous soccer player, but she has her full parent, grandparent support, an extra soccer coach, leagues that are run by dedicated adults. And I think, boy, we had to go out and make our own team and coach ourselves and call somebody from another school to say, if they wanted to play us on Saturday morning. So the support. So there's a reason why, let's just take this generation of women athletes, imagine them playing a team from 1968, it would be cruelty. It would be cruelty, because they are so much better supported. So there's a lot to be said for support. We only hear about the helicopter parent, the snowplow parent. So parents get dinged for this. But in fact, as a cohort, your generation of parents has done an extraordinary job. Susan Stone: I have to share with you, my mother was first generation American. My grandparents all came from Europe to escape oppression. And my mother had a different attitude. I remember saying, "I don't want to do my homework." And she would say, "Don't do your homework, it's your education." And if I would wake up and say, "I don't want to go to school," she'd say, "Your education." And so I took ownership early on, and I was a latchkey kid, so I would go to school, come home, make dinner, help my sister. I think about my own parenting. If my kid said, I don't feel like going to school, I'd be like, "Of course you have to go to school." The question I have is I feel like it's very late. Are there earlier signs in middle school, early high school, before that senior year where you can see? And what can you do to prevent the struggling transition? Dr. Mark McConville: Yes. Yeah. So it's just a little anecdote. I was doing a radio talk show, and a father called in and said, "I have a three year old. What should I be doing with my three year old?" At first my jaw dropped, but then I said, "Well, you should be sitting down on the playroom floor saying, 'Come on over here, buddy. We're going to pick up these toys together. I'll get all the trucks, so you get all the puzzles.'" That kind of parenting takes so much more time and energy than just picks the damn room up, and put the stuff in wherever it goes. But to sit down and work with that child, where you're really paying attention to the sort of just emergent qualities of initiative and ownership, and that's what your mother did brilliantly. Your mother was a good gambler. She was able to read her opponent. Susan Stone: Still is. Dr. Mark McConville: She knew if she played that card, that you would pick it up. But what she was doing was challenging you to take initiative and ownership. Now, a lot of kids today need more fine-tuned parenting than that. And even when you say to your kids, what are you talking about? Of course you're going to do your homework. That's very efficient parenting, and most kids respond to it. I'm watching my kids parent their kids, and I see that. We don't make an issue of schoolwork because it's not an issue. It's taken granted that you're going to do it. It's out of the question that you wouldn't do it. They don't fight over a lot. But what if you get one of those oppositional kids who seem to come along on their own to nobody's bad parenting, and they come along and say, yeah, it's done. I did it in school. And of course they didn't. And then that's where parenting becomes high maintenance. Kristina Supler: I mean with the student who, Susie or Johnny, who's been amazing all through school. Has these dreams of going on to a prestigious college. Involved in every extracurricular under the sun. But all of a sudden senior year hits that moment where there's a total loss of initiative, motivation, the student starts to shut down from anxiety about the future and what lies ahead. When parents see that collapse coming on, what can parents do? I mean, what tips do you have? Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. We call that senior year collapse actually. And it's a very interesting phenomenon because it's ... Deep in the background of our consciousness, we all sense the passage of time and the passage of life's ground rules. And that's maybe, other than say leaving home for kindergarten or preschool where the ground rules change pretty dramatically, a lot of those kids feel the hoof beats of the future. Like I'm not going to have this support. And we see that more frequently with kids who have been on 504 plans, or they've benefited, because those are kids who have really utilized that support. Some of them, in the context of a therapy session, will be quite insightful. Not all of them, but occasionally there will be a kid that says, I'm afraid of next year. What if I just don't get up, and... Because after all, my mom wakes me up now in the morning. I always get my papers done, but it's usually because there's an email from my English teacher telling my parents that I'm a week behind, or something like that. And that get intuits, I may be in trouble. So, how to respond to it. I'll give you the template, the model. Younger, there's a phenomenon called a school avoidance. We used to call school phobia. So you might have an eight or a 10 year old, they're hanging onto the door jam. "I'm not going." The protocol for intervention is by hook or by crook, you call Uncle Vinny. He comes over, picks the kid up, puts him in the car, you take them to school, whether they have to sit in the nurse's office or in the library, doesn't matter. They got to know that being in school is not a negotiable. And the great majority of those kids, I'm going to guesstimate, 90%, they adapt. Their little brain says, well, well, I guess I have to do it, and then they do it. The other 10%, what they're signaling us, and the tragedy is we often don't know it until we put them in school, then the nurse or the counselor says nothing positive is happening. I came in my counseling office the other day, and he was hiding under the desk. Then we know we have more of a mental health issue. We have a kid that quite likely does in fact warrant a diagnosis and treatment intervention for anxiety, perhaps depression. So it's a hard thing for parents because the kind of gentle tough love thing is often necessary to clarify the diagnosis. I mean, there's a lot of diagnosing that way. And we see that with the same thing with the high school senior, the parents who say, uh-uh (negative), I'm sorry, you are going to school. One mental health day a month, but no more. Something like that. And a lot of those kids respond. The one who don't are telling us, I'm not ready to move on. I have an ongoing quarrel with society about this. I have a piece of advice I've given a hundred times. Maybe once it was followed. And the advice is, look, you've got a kid that's really ready to go to college from an academic standpoint. He or she is a good student. Their SATs, their scores are perfectly acceptable. They're telling you they're not ready to graduate. Let them not graduate. Let them walk across the stage and get an empty piece of paper. It won't kill them, and it's easy to recover. How do you recover? You take a six week English course at the local public school, and you start college in January. And really in most cases, unless we're seeing real emergent mental illness, or a serious drug problem that has just sort of crested. Other than that, they get their act together. The alternative, and I sent one of my kids to college on this. The alternative is they send the kid off to college anyhow. Two semesters, academic probation, six incompletes, two F's and two C's. And the school is saying, sorry, or they're saying ... I call it academic rehab. It doesn't have a hundred percent hit rate. It maybe is, in my patient population, maybe 60%. But it usually means take two courses at tri C, get a job. The job is an important part of the therapy, because it changes how you feel about yourself. The produce manager told me how much he appreciates the job I do. And they need me this weekend because it's a heavy shopping weekend. I'm beginning to feel a little more like I may have the stuff it takes to become an adult. And for that kid who then goes back to school the following year, there's a much higher success rate. And my point is a lot of that could be avoided if you let the kids flunk English, and then rehab over the summer. The other thing is, if you do the two semesters and out, your self-esteem and self-confidence takes a massive hit. All kids this age feel like phonies, but these kids feel it more. Whereas the embarrassment of telling your friends that you've got summer school, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday is just big whoop, as they used to say. It's not hard to hide. It's not hard to do. You kind of get tired of... I had one kid who I mentioned in the book who the parents couldn't get him to come out from under his bed. Well, you get tired of being under your bed, after a while. Susan Stone: Well, I want to challenge you on something. Dr. Mark McConville: Oh, good. Susan Stone: I'm wondering whether the system today is setting kids up to fail because we have them in high school, in this highly structured environment. And now college has absolutely no boundaries until a kid violates the code of conduct. There are no visitation rules. It just seems like there just needs to be some better way to transition students. And I went to college, look, I'm 55. There was some sort of visitation in the dorm where everyone had to be back, and you couldn't have members of the opposite sex in your room- Kristina Supler: We still had those rules and restrictions, and it was a big deal. It was really enforced. Susan Stone: Yeah. I didn't know that. Is this even fair? Dr. Mark McConville: It's a great question. And I don't know that I have a good answer, because I was sort of a witness to the culture wars that led to all this openness. One of my dear friends in high school went to college. I was from Rochester, New York. He came to John Carroll, and after a semester he transferred. I asked him why he transferred. He said, "It was 10 o'clock one night. I was in my dorm room, lights out at 10 o'clock. I have the covers pulled over my head, and I'm reading my biology textbook with a flashlight." And I said to myself, "What's wrong with this picture?" The structures that were carried over from the 1950s were the other edge of the pendulum arc. And then through the cultural transition of the 60s and the 70s and feminism, you're looking at so many of these restrictions as just not useful and appropriate. And you are certainly right. It is at an extreme where, when you go off to college, you better have a fair amount of self-discipline and self-regulation. And the kids who do, are fine, the kids who don't, are not. Now, one thing, this may not be the most elegant solution. Colleges do differ in the amount of structure that they impose and the ground rules. I'm not sure that's the basis on which I'd want to choose a school. But if I had a kid who I thought was a pretty loose cannon, that might go high on my priority list. Susan Stone: What about a gap year? Because I'm a big- Dr. Mark McConville: Oh, I love gap years. I love gap years. There's a book by a scholar named Jean Twenge, came out a year or two ago. She's what you call a demographer. She studies generations. And she makes a very plausible research case for today's generation being a new distinct generation. She calls it iGen. They were born after the introduction of the iPhone. And then she goes through all the ways that that and technology generally has changed her life. And one of the things she noted that was fascinating, that this generation of high school teenagers, less drug abuse, fewer pregnancies, fewer instances of diagnosed oppositional defiant disorder, like everything bad about adolescences is settling down. It's not unusual for a 16 to 17 year old today to say, "I'm going to stay in and watch a movie with my parents." Or, "Yeah, I'll play Scrabble, give me a board. I'll participate." And the initial interpretation, Twenge says, is that these kids are growing up faster. They're seeming more like adult-like in their late teens. But she said as the research piled up, they came to the exact opposite conclusion. They're actually growing up slower. So they're more comfortable with attachment and dependence, and the sort of mandatory distancing from your parents. You remember the book from 25 years ago, mom, would you please drive me and Sally to the ... Oh, mom, I hate you. Get out of my life. But first, please drive me and Sally to the shopping center. That kind of teens, they must rebel. You don't see it so necessarily today. And so that gap year is exactly ... I wish it was like Israel, where you have to do two years of civil service, because there's so much growing up that takes place. And you're not being measured every time. You're not on a timetable of assignments handed in and quizzes taken. I just think it does more to change how you feel about yourself. My kids go the gap years the year after college. They did a thing called Jesuit Volunteer Corps. And so they were doing social service work, but it was so useful in giving them a taste of being viable and useful in the adult world. Kristina Supler: It sounds like what you're saying is that this transition into adulthood really requires adolescents and young adults to have a sense of responsibility, self-discipline, self-reliance. And so for parents, when you have an 18 year old who's really struggling to take on any sense of responsibility for oneself, what are parents supposed to do now? I mean, a hard line approach of, get out of my house, get a job. You got to pay your own bills and make your way. Do parents have to let their kids crash and burn fail? Or is there a softer approach to helping foster that sense of responsibility in your child? Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. I call that the Archie Bunker Approach. It used to be called tough love. I'm not a fan of tough love, partially dispositionally. It's not in my character. I mean, this is the argument my book makes, you can set limits and boundaries, and have expectations and consequences. And you can do that in a way that conveys tremendous love and support. Kristina Supler: That's beautiful. Dr. Mark McConville: I'll give you an example. This is just so garden variety. Not this summer, the summer before, I had a kid I'd seen off and on in high school. And he has to come back, because he was doing a lot of headbutting with his parents. And it turned out his mother had driven him to the session, so she was in the waiting room. He was 19 years old, a college student. Their argument du jour was, she's saying, "You have a dentist appointment on Friday. It conflicts with your work schedule, call the dentist's office and reschedule." And he just doesn't do it. "I'll do it. I'll do it. Get off my back." But he doesn't do it. And I said to him, "Would it be okay if I brought your mom in?" And I talked him into it. So she comes into the office, and I watched them go at it, just to kind of witness the argument. And finally I turned to him and I said, "I have a question. What do you think happens when you call a dentist office to cancel an appointment?" And he says, he looks down, he grumbles a little, he says, "They get pissed." Now, anyone who has ever called a dentist office, they are the most canceled healthcare providers. If you call them to reschedule, they want to send you roses. They are so delighted. So I said to the mom, "Would you be willing to call on speaker phone and cancel the appointment for him and reschedule?" She said, "Sure." And of course, you know what happened. "Oh, Mrs. Jones, thank you so much. Oh, no problem. We'll see him a week from Thursday." And I turned to the kid, and he looked down, first of all, which is what you do when you're a little embarrassed. And he goes, "Oh, just that. Oh!" That's a little microscopic bit of the psychology of the transitioner. There's this adult world. I sense that it has protocols, rules, structures, dos and don'ts, but it's like ... You may appreciate this. One of you said you're Jewish. Personally I call it my synagogue effect. When I go into a synagogue, I have this, and my background is Roman Catholic, where there are all kinds of rules. Susan Stone: We have rules. Dr. Mark McConville: Okay. So I have this thing of like, I'm sure there are things I'm supposed to do and supposed not to do, but I don't know what they are. And so I get this strange, sort of youthful, portent of shame, like I'm going to do something stupid. Everybody's going to turn ... And I know, it's like, oh, there's my old neurosis. I guess I could have used another year of therapy. But that's where they live all the time. Like the kid who comes in and says, "My mom wants me to fill out this check for you. We owe you some money." And he takes out the checkbook and he stares at it. And after a minute I say, "Have you ever filled out a check before?" "No." And of course he so embarrassed. He's so embarrassed, as if we didn't all go through that exact same kind of experience. Kids don't often enough come and say, "All right, mom, I'll call, but what do I say?" They don't come for that. Like tell me the piece I don't know. Kristina Supler: So let me ask you then, how do we instill in these transitioners like the idea of what you're getting at. Like, it's okay, just ask for help. Don't feel shame. Don't feel embarrassment. Just ask for help. Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. If they would listen to that kind of straightforward advice, I wouldn't have a job. Kristina Supler: We probably wouldn't have jobs either. Susan Stone: You're right. We'd be out of business. Dr. Mark McConville: Right. There are a couple of things you can do. I think for no rational reason, parents are often the least ... If I'm your kid and I take your advice, somehow the very active doing so makes me feel more childlike. And keep in mind, I'm only 20 years old, where childhood is nipping at my heels. I mean, I'm a kind of fraudulent adult at that stage. And so I am loathed to do anything that makes me feel like a kid. So you might find an individual that doesn't exert the same response for me. Like it might be the other parent. It might be an older sibling. It might be Uncle Joe, cool Uncle Joe. The Uncle Joe that everybody thinks is funny. And he flunked out of college before he went back, so he may be more approachable. It may be a therapist. It may be attorneys like you who are not mom and dad. So that's one approach. If you have a hit, if you find someone you do, if you don't, you don't. But the other thing is to be a sort of a buddy. Like the mom in my office who essentially showed him how to make that phone call. It would've not been good if she had just made the call without him around. But she did it in a framework that was kind of tutorial. Susan Stone: Well, within a therapeutic environment. Because I don't know that the student or child would've stayed, had she said house. Dr. Mark McConville: You're right. Might not have. Might not have. Susan Stone: I mean, you were a great facilitator for that process. One of the questions that I had on your chapter about becoming relational. If you see that your student is hanging out with a group you don't like, or maybe dating someone that you don't want the student to date. I know that the kiss of death is to say, don't hang out with that crowd. That's like a invitation. In terms of you want students to become relational, and I love those chapters, how do you handle it when you know the peer group isn't the right peer group? Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. Well there's no single fail-safe argument. You're so right. If you say I don't like that group, even if the kid were to obey you and to distance from them, that just means he's being childlike. Like mommy doesn't approve. It's kind of a no-win approach. But you can do, there's a kind of questioning that therapists learn. I recently heard it referred to as motivational interviewing, but it's almost entirely made up of questions. So what do you like about this group? Tell me how do they compare to other friends you've had? How do they make you feel about yourself? What do they do that's interesting or funny? Where do you think they'll all be in five years? What do you get from them that you don't get from other people? That's the kind of questioning I do with pot smokers. Because if I tell them to stop smoking pot, I'm just fired. But I will say something like, "I don't know, like in health class, have they said anything about what they think pot does to your brain? I'm just curious." So I'm not asking a question about pot, I'm asking a question about health class. The kid will engage in that conversation because it's a little more oblique. So that's one thing a parent can try. It'll work with some kids, not with others. Another thing you can sometimes do, is you invite them over. You try to pull them into your circle, where you can assess them a little better. It's also very diagnostic. Like if he brings the girlfriend over, and she won't talk in your presence, and is nudging him to get down in the basement where the two of them can be alone. I mean, again, it just tells you like, yep, I trust my antenna. Again, there's no guarantee you're going to exert some positive influence. At least you'll have more of an idea. And often if they are, if I could use the word generously, bad kids, they're into bad stuff. They're not growing up. They're doing a fair amount of drugs. They're lost in their video game universe. They won't want to come over because you represent a frightening part of the adult world that they need to insulate themselves from in order to feel okay about themselves. Kristina Supler: That's really interesting. I like what you refer to as the motivational questioning, because Susan and I, in a different way, we have to sort of implement the same strategy a lot when we're talking to our students. Because if we just come right out and dive into the big stuff, they feel judged or they shut down and are just afraid to be open. I think that's a great technique that you've provided for parents to try to use as well. Susan Stone: And for us. Sometimes we need to spend a little bit more time with each student to tease it out. Kristina and I often do intakes together. And a lot of people in our own professional development have suggested that, why don't you guys split up more? You could cover more clients, make more money. In fact, all throughout our career, people have tried to separate us. And we say, there's an advantage to both of us being with a young adult, because maybe they'll connect to one of us and not the other, or we can tag team and play good cop, bad cop. And sometimes I wonder if there's that psychological transition because there's two of us. We think it's a better model and we're not abandoning it. Dr. Mark McConville: No, I could not agree more. We used to do that. When I started my career, we did a lot of family therapy, and we always used two therapists whenever the institution would allow us to. And for exact that, it gives you so much more latitude of role, how you play. You see somebody really needs an ally, so one of you can do that without compromising the larger agenda. Kristina Supler: Yes, Susan, our decision is intentional and rooted again in psychological theory. Dr. Mark McConville: Well, you are two smart cookies, I got to say that. Susan Stone: Oh, geez. Dr. Mark McConville: I have three brothers. Two of them are attorneys. One has his own law firm up in Rochester, and he just by virtue of his personality, because he's actually an estate lawyer, but every one of his high school friends, and I have to say me and my three brothers, when our kids were in college and got in trouble, we called Uncle Mike. And Uncle Mike was just a genius at sussing these things out. Now, back in the day, it was not sexually related. It was open carry on a campus, or getting in a fist fight in a bar. He was just elegant of the way he would help people and connect with them. But I think what you guys are dealing with is much more complicated. Susan Stone: And scary. Really scary. Dr. Mark McConville: I had a kid, he was actually a high school kid at a little sibs weekend, and he was urinating against the side of a building out of the way. Susan Stone: Got to go. Dr. Mark McConville: Campus security guy saw him, and they had to lawyer up so that he didn't get charged with sexual, whatever, he had sex crime. It was just ridiculous. Susan Stone: Well, let's talk about lawyer ring up. Kristina, we have a good question about that. Kristina Supler: Yeah. I mean, we sort of were often asked like, did hiring a lawyer for my child make my kid look guilty? Or am I enabling my child by spending my hard earned dollars to hire these brilliant women to defend my child? What Susan and I know is that in this day and age, it truly can be life altering to not have your child ever experience a disciplinary proceeding or some sort of criminal investigation without having a lawyer there to protect the student. And so what would you suggest or how could parents approach this idea of, okay, this is serious. You need a lawyer. I'm going to pay for the lawyer because you make minimum wage. But also not sending the message to your child like, well, if you just screw up, we have the resources. We'll hire a lawyer, and lawyers can make this go away. Dr. Mark McConville: It's a great question. It's kind of like riddle of the stinks. The hypothetical or theoretical question is, is this scenario likely to prove in retrospect to be a learning experience? Or will it prove in retrospect to be traumatizing? Now, that's a theoretical question. And as you know, sometimes it's fuzzy and gray and you can't quite tell. In which case I personally would err on the side of intervening and supporting the kids. But I do occasionally see parents who lawyer up when really the kid needs to have his hand slapped, and it's not going to be a felony and he's going to have to do service or something. And he would get the idea that there are consequences. That choices have consequences. It's like a differential diagnosis where you kind of ... I often think of things like that. Like if I'm going to make a mistake, what's the one I want to make? And I would rather make the mistake that said, I maybe didn't need to intervene as much as I did. Okay. Chalk it up, learn from it. The kid I mentioned to you earlier, the 21 year old who went through this legal nightmare when he was 18, he's been traumatized by it. He's only now stepped back into the educational world. This is a very bright young guy. That's the mistake I don't want to make. Kristina Supler: Yeah. Susan, when we were talking about the book, you were sharing with me how much the ATM model just really resonated with you. Susan Stone: Oh my gosh, you read my mind. We're mind-molding through computer screen, Kristina. So I got to tell you, that chapter struck such an internal chord, because I have actually had teenagers, my own say, "You're like a bank. Just stop being a bank." And how do you communicate, yes, I work for my money. I'm paying for this. I get a say without being a bully, because that's the reality. You take someone's money, my way or the highway, baby. Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. It's a really great question because there's two things involved. One is how do you as a parent change your thinking about money? And the other is how do you then get your kid to begin to think of you ... My kids are grown. They're closer to your age. If I pay for- Susan Stone: Well, Kristina's age. Kristina Supler: My daughter's 10, so we're just starting to get into that period now where like fashion and other things and being cool and all of that. So like I see what lies ahead. Dr. Mark McConville: Yeah. Right. If I pay for the girls summer camp, my daughter could not be more appreciative. She falls all over stuff. "Dad, you don't have to do this. Are you sure? Are you sure?" Yeah, I joke around with her. I say, "No, really, this is the way that I would love to be helpful." Now my daughter makes more money than I do. So it's not like she needs, it's more like I have a need to participate. I have no worries about it. But if she took it for granted, "Aren't you going to pay for camp this year?" I would have a whole different ... Like, whoa, I don't want that relationship. She's over that hump. But you guys are dealing with kids who are not, they're in the middle of it. And so as parents, first, you've got to undergo the change yourself. I remember when my daughter was a junior in high school, and her French class or something is going to Paris. And I am a fledgling psychologist building a practice, and I can't afford to send her to Paris, but I could not live with myself not sending her. It was the old, I'm working my own guilt agenda, my own self-esteem agenda. Am I a good enough father? That's all my stuff. I should have gone and talked to somebody about it. Until I got over that, which I did more when she was in college, until I worked that out, I wasn't able to have the conversation with her that said, so tell me why this expense is necessary? Tell me why it's important? I want to know what I'm investing in. Now that you're in college or grad school, I don't throw my money away. I don't help you out, out of obligation, but let me know what I'm getting into? Where is this going to lead? Tell me why this is a good idea? So I really am being this small business banker saying, you need to make a case for this. And you need to know that if I write this check or help you get this apartment or pay this tuition bill, that I am expecting a commitment from you to hold up your end of the bargain. So you're trying to get the kid to see it more as a transaction. You know that word's gotten a lot of bad press in the last four or five years, everything being transactional. What I'm concerned about is the relationship that the kid begins to see the parents as people. You're no longer to be taken for granted, but you are people who have stories and worries. And that kind of maturation, what the psychologist, Robert Kagan, calls it mutuality. Like I see you as a person just like me. And so your needs, your financial concerns are just as real. It's actually easier in families that have more limited means where the parents say, "Well, we just can't." In families where the parents are really people of means, and the kid will say, "Well, I know you could afford it," it's a little tricky argument, but I still vote for the argument, which is, "That's not the issue. The issue here isn't whether I can afford to put you up in an apartment in San Francisco. The issue is, I'm a grownup, and I like to know what I'm investing in. I don't throw my money around. So if you're going to be a full-time student, and you have some aspirations, if not goals, then sign me on. I want to help. This is a 50/50 arrangement." So it takes a lot of- Susan Stone: I'm sorry to interrupt, but isn't that how people horizontalize the relationship and make it more even? Dr. Mark McConville: Exactly. Easier said than done. But if the parent doesn't get into that frame of mind, the kid most certainly will not get into that frame of mind. The record, I know I shouldn't keep records like this, but I have one parent I've talked to whose daughter who's very bright, well educated, and is 49 years old, and lives entirely on the family dole. And it's because, how do we change it after all this time? Which we agree to disagree, but I'm just saying it will perpetuate itself if the parent ... And you're lucky if you've got a kid who is a step ahead of you. "Mom, I want to earn that on my own." That kind of thing. God bless them. Your mother parenting you. Kristina Supler: So I guess one final question that Susan and I both, we felt there was so much practical advice in your book, but also a lot of nuance that really invites parents to be thoughtful and find the right messaging. I guess my final question to you is the message of parents telling your children, you don't give up, and parents communicating that. Susan Stone: Never give up. Kristina Supler: How do you message this idea of, okay, I'm scaling back financial support, but I'm not throwing you out, picking up on you. We have confidence that you are going to gain responsibility and succeed and all of that. Dr. Mark McConville: If I could push a little further, you may have a child that you don't have that confidence. Susan Stone: Sure. So true. Dr. Mark McConville: It's like finding the love language for any given kid. I'll answer it with a vignette. I had a dad, a guy I just love, whose son was in his early 30s, and was a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, barely functional. Often in and out of small town jail cells, being held for a night or two. Sometimes staying in places where you can stay for the homeless downtown, sometimes under a bridge. And the dad had done, he'd done lawyers, he'd done psychiatric treatment, like a lot of paranoid schizophrenics. He would sometimes be cooperative, sometimes not. But his bottom line was, this is my son. And so what he would do every other week or so is he would buy a carton of cigarettes, and he would make some calls to see where he was. And he would go seek him out and sit down and give him a carton of cigarettes and just chat on a bench for an hour. And that was what he did, because that was something the kid could take in, that said to him, I still have a dad. Now, will that help or not help? I don't know, but it's the right thing to do. And it leaves open the possibility that I think any of us, if we feel connected to our parents, we feel loved by them. Even my parents have been gone 40 and 50 years, respectively, but I still feel loved by them. And it still matters. However you can for an individual child to get that message, and it'll be very straightforward with one kid, and it might be a carton of cigarettes with another. Susan Stone: There you go, making me cry again. Kristina Supler: I think that's a beautiful message to end on. Dr. McConnell, thank you so much for joining us. This was really a pleasure, this conversation. Susan and I were so looking forward to reading your book, and this conversation has just been wonderful, and hopefully really beneficial to our listeners as well. Dr. Mark McConville: Well, thank you so much. It's really been a joy to meet the two of you. I can't wait for my next college student in trouble to come into my office. I got just the answer for you. Kristina Supler: Thanks to our listeners. We're so glad you're able to join us today for Real Talk with Susan and Kristina. And if you did enjoy this episode, please do subscribe to our show, so that you don't miss any episodes, where you'll find more content on a regular basis. You can also follow us on Instagram. Just search for the handle @stonesupler. And there's resources available online, studentdefense.kjk.com. Thank you so much for being a part of our Real Talk community, and we'll see you next time.
#78. Doug and Jamie Taylor discuss the future of the golf industry and where they think it needs to be headed to evolve. Plus they wrap up the episode with some "Birdies? or BS?". Jamie Taylor, LPGA, is an alumnae of Laurel School in Cleveland, OH. She attended Gannon University in Erie, PA, where she received a full ride to play on the women's varsity team. As the only African American in her conference; she served as captain her junior and senior year; was president of the Student Athletic Advisory Committee (SAAC); and received her MBA. A former Event Coordinator for the LPGA Foundation, Jamie is now a full-time consultant for golf companies looking to grow and make an impact beyond the industry. Find us on our socials @BirdiesNotBS on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter and submit your questions online: at BirdiesNotBS.com ABOUT BIRDIES NOT BS: Golf expert Doug Smith and friends, take a modern approach to the golfing experience while answering the most popular questions the new generation of golfers have today, in less time than it takes you to order a take-out meal. Every week during the golf season they answer a new question related to not just the game, but the lifestyle surrounding it. Even that golf question you have but won't ask out loud. We sift through all the high-brow BS and give you what you really need to know to live your freshest golf life, from the course to the barbecue. Whether you're a seasoned golfer or just gripping a club for the first time, Birdies Not BS is for you, the new generation of golfer who demands a more approachable and modern game. ----more---- EPISODE CREDITS: Producer, Maribel Quezada Smith Editor, Julian Rodriguez Theme music by Ricardo Pujol
As a financial adviser working with female clients, it’s important to remember that women have their own concerns and priorities when they’re building their wealth. You can’t just tweak your strategy for male clients — you need to tailor your plan to address women’s priorities. In this episode, Christine Shaw speaks with Heather Ettinger, founder and CEO of Luma Wealth Advisors, to discuss the importance of educating and empowering women to build their own wealth. Heather discusses her experience as an adviser, and shares why she is so passionate about working with women and what sets their priorities apart from those of men. In this episode, you will learn: Why it is so important to have an integrated approach to financial services, especially when working with womenHow financial wellness plays into a person’s overall integrated wellness What inspired Heather to write her book, Lumination: Shining a Light on a Woman’s Journey to Financial WellnessWhy some advisers tend to “pinkify” their strategy for female clients — and why this needs to changeAnd more!Tune in to learn from Heather Ettinger, founder and CEO of Luma Wealth Advisors, about the importance of working with women to meet their needs!Resources: InvestmentNews | Christine Shaw | Luma Wealth Advisors | Heather Ettinger | Lumination: Shining a Light on a Woman’s Journey to Financial WellnessGuest bio: As a champion for women and girls for over 30 years, Heather Ettinger is widely recognized for her unique experience and dedication to helping women build their financial acumen and wealth, culminating in the founding of Luma Wealth Advisors in 2017. She specializes in helping clients and their families create strategic financial plans to guide them through life transitions, such as the loss of a spouse, divorce and job changes and to align their resources around family values and impact in their communities.Heather co-authored two studies about women and their unique needs entitled “Women of Wealth: Why Does the Financial Services Industry Still Not Hear Them?” and “Women of Wealth: What Do Breadwinner Women Want?” Heather has been featured in many publications including The Wall Street Journal, Barron’s and Bloomberg and is a frequently requested speaker for industry associations, company women’s initiatives and wellness events. For conceiving new ideas and tools that have propelled the financial industry forward, she was recognized as a 2019 “Icons and Innovators” honoree by Investment News. In 2019, she also proudly accepted The Ruth Bader Ginsburg award for advancing the aspirations of women from the Women’s Vote Project.Ms. Ettinger remains an ardent supporter of her alma maters including Dartmouth College, where she earned a B.A., and Laurel School for girls, where she now serves as an Emeritus Trustee. She is active with In Counsel with Women and the nationally recognized wealth management study group, Family Wealth Advisors Council. She has served on numerous non-profit and private company boards across a wide range of industries including distribution, manufacturing, technology, trust services, financial services and healthcare.Her most recent board service includes University Hospitals Health System, The Private Trust Company, Asurint One Source Technology, Schwab Institutional Services Advisory Board, and Racing Towards Diversity.Ms. Ettinger considers raising her three children with her husband, Jeff, to be her greatest and most rewarding accomplishment. Her favorite activities include playing ice hockey, skiing and hiking.Interested in having a greater impact on your family giving or in your community, or learning more about aligning your financial resources for impact?Connect with Heather at heather@heatherettinger.com or on social media.
As a financial adviser working with female clients, it’s important to remember that women have their own concerns and priorities when they’re building their wealth. You can’t just tweak your strategy for male clients — you need to tailor your plan to address women’s priorities. In this episode, Christine Shaw speaks with Heather Ettinger, founder and CEO of Luma Wealth Advisors, to discuss the importance of educating and empowering women to build their own wealth. Heather discusses her experience as an adviser, and shares why she is so passionate about working with women and what sets their priorities apart from those of men. In this episode, you will learn: Why it is so important to have an integrated approach to financial services, especially when working with womenHow financial wellness plays into a person’s overall integrated wellness What inspired Heather to write her book, Lumination: Shining a Light on a Woman’s Journey to Financial WellnessWhy some advisers tend to “pinkify” their strategy for female clients — and why this needs to changeAnd more!Tune in to learn from Heather Ettinger, founder and CEO of Luma Wealth Advisors, about the importance of working with women to meet their needs!Resources: InvestmentNews | Christine Shaw | Luma Wealth Advisors | Heather Ettinger | Lumination: Shining a Light on a Woman’s Journey to Financial WellnessGuest bio: As a champion for women and girls for over 30 years, Heather Ettinger is widely recognized for her unique experience and dedication to helping women build their financial acumen and wealth, culminating in the founding of Luma Wealth Advisors in 2017. She specializes in helping clients and their families create strategic financial plans to guide them through life transitions, such as the loss of a spouse, divorce and job changes and to align their resources around family values and impact in their communities.Heather co-authored two studies about women and their unique needs entitled “Women of Wealth: Why Does the Financial Services Industry Still Not Hear Them?” and “Women of Wealth: What Do Breadwinner Women Want?” Heather has been featured in many publications including The Wall Street Journal, Barron’s and Bloomberg and is a frequently requested speaker for industry associations, company women’s initiatives and wellness events. For conceiving new ideas and tools that have propelled the financial industry forward, she was recognized as a 2019 “Icons and Innovators” honoree by Investment News. In 2019, she also proudly accepted The Ruth Bader Ginsburg award for advancing the aspirations of women from the Women’s Vote Project.Ms. Ettinger remains an ardent supporter of her alma maters including Dartmouth College, where she earned a B.A., and Laurel School for girls, where she now serves as an Emeritus Trustee. She is active with In Counsel with Women and the nationally recognized wealth management study group, Family Wealth Advisors Council. She has served on numerous non-profit and private company boards across a wide range of industries including distribution, manufacturing, technology, trust services, financial services and healthcare.Her most recent board service includes University Hospitals Health System, The Private Trust Company, Asurint One Source Technology, Schwab Institutional Services Advisory Board, and Racing Towards Diversity.Ms. Ettinger considers raising her three children with her husband, Jeff, to be her greatest and most rewarding accomplishment. Her favorite activities include playing ice hockey, skiing and hiking.Interested in having a greater impact on your family giving or in your community, or learning more about aligning your financial resources for impact?Connect with Heather at heather@heatherettinger.com or on social media.
Most American kids are officially back to school in some way shape or form. As if we didn’t have enough to worry about, now we have COVID and our kids well-being to contend with this year. I’m bringing back a personal and fan favorite all about stress and anxiety in girls. Lisa D’Amour is a clinical psychologist, columnist and author and in this episode we discuss her New York Times bestselling book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. We discuss what's normal and actually beneficial for teen girls when it comes to stress and anxiety, when you should worry, as well as the options available for talking with girls and young women to reduce their stress and anxiety on everything from embracing their bodies, dating to setting boundaries. We also get into an important conversation on microaggressions and racism -- pressures from our culture girls can't control, but we as parents and helping professionals can help all girls get through. This episode was first aired in February 2019. About Lisa Lisa Damour writes the monthly Adolescence column for the New York Times, co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast, serves as a regular contributor to CBS News, maintains a private practice, consults and speaks internationally, is a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University, and serves as the Executive Director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. drlisadamour.com | Book: Under Pressure | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter --- Get the Body Kindness book It's available wherever books and audiobooks are sold. Read reviews on Amazon and pick up your copy today! Order signed copies and bulk discounts here! --- Donate to support the show Thanks to our generous supporters! We're working toward our goal to fund the full season. Can you donate? Please visit our Go Fund Me page. --- Get started with Body Kindness Sign up to get started for free and stay up to date on the latest offerings --- Become a client Check out BodyKindnessBook.com/breakthrough for the latest groups and individual support sessions --- Subscribe to the podcast We're on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify and iHeartRadio. Enjoy the show? Please rate it on iTunes! Have a show idea or guest recommendation? E-mail podcast@bodykindnessbook.com to get in touch. --- Join the Facebook group Continue the episode conversations with the hosts, guests, and fellow listeners on the Body Kindness Facebook group. See you there! Nothing in this podcast is meant to provide medical diagnosis, treatment, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. Individuals should consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical advice and answers to personal health questions.
Ivy Zelman is Chief Executive Officer of Zelman & Associates holding roughly 30 years of experience covering housing and housing-related industries. In 2007, Ivy co-founded Zelman & Associates. The firm provides analyses across all aspects of the housing spectrum. Ivy's concept for the firm remains strongly rooted in the ability to perform thematic research overlaid with proprietary surveys to produce unparalleled differentiated value-added research. Ivy has been widely known and respected for her bold thinking and accurate assessments where others failed, helping industry players avoid costly mistakes and capture game-changing opportunities. In 2005, she called the top of the housing market. Ivy famously asked Toll Brothers CEO Bob Toll on the Q4 2006 Toll Brothers conference call “Which Kool-Aid Are You Drinking?” From there Ivy called the bottom of the housing market in January 2012, thus reinforcing her dominant reputation within the industry. She helped best-selling writer, Michael Lewis with research related to the mortgage crash. This became a part of his best-selling book turned movie, Liar's Poker. Michael wrote in the book “all roads led to Ivy.” Her convictions have been recognized by Institutional Investor ranking her as one of the most preeminent figures within the housing industry. Most notably, Institutional Investors - America Research Team rankings placed Ivy and her team with eleven 1st place rankings (1999 – 2004, 2006 – 2007 and 2010 – 2013). Additionally, Hanley Wood, a leading real estate media firm, ranked Ivy as 14th of the Top 50 most influential persons in housing. In 2020, Ivy was included in Barron's Top 100 Women in U.S. Finance. As one of the most powerful women on Wall Street, Ivy Zelman is a sought-after expert on the housing sector, and what the overall housing market means for investors, homebuilders, industry executives and the economy at large. She frequently appears on television shows such as CNBC, in major publications including The Wall Street Journal, and has acted as a key witness in a congressional hearing. Jim Cramer, host of the CNBC's show Mad Money, said “Ivy is the Ax of the homebuilders – the analyst who understands the group better than anyone else on Wall Street.” Ivy's speaking requests by conferences, board meetings, podcasts or special events have included: Bloomberg, CNBC, TD Ameritrade Network, Bloomberg's Master's in Business, International Builder Show, MBS Highway, National Association of Homebuilders, NFX, National Association of Realtors, National Organization of Investment Professionals, Mortgage Banking Association, Moody's, AmeriCatalyst, PropTechCEO Summit, Reality Alliance. She received a Bachelor of Science from George Mason University and currently lives in Cleveland, Ohio with her husband David and their three children, Zoey, Zachary and Zia. Ivy is a special advisor to Laurel School, BBYO, NCJW Cleveland as well as mentors' high school and college students.
Dave Monaco talks with Ann Klotz, Head of Laurel School in Shaker Heights, OH. They talk about Ann's education in independent schools, background in the arts and her 17 years as a leader of a school with a similar mission as Parish's.
The coronavirus pandemic has drastically changed life as we know it. Statewide "shelter-in-place" orders, the closing of schools and nonessential businesses, and limiting social interactions with family and friends may be vital to preserving our physical health, but are likely taking a toll on our mental health. Dr. Lisa Damour will address the psychological science key to understanding how stress and anxiety operate in adults and children, both under everyday conditions and at times of heightened concern and disruption. Recognized as a thought leader by the American Psychological Association for her work on stress and anxiety, she is the author of two New York Times best selling parenting books, Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood and Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Join us to learn more about how adults can keep stress and anxiety from reaching toxic levels; the most reliable strategies for managing chronic and persistent stress; and how to cultivate emotional resilience in children and adolescents under COVID-19.
Carol is honored to welcome Dr. Lisa Damour as our guest in part 3 of our series on the COVID-19 pandemic. Lisa Damour, Ph.D. is a psychologist, author, teacher, speaker, and consultant. Dr. Damour writes the monthly Adolescence column for the New York Times and is a regular contributor at CBS News. She serves as a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University and as the Executive Director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Dr. Damour is the author of two New York Times best selling books: Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood and Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. She also maintains a private psychotherapy practice. As we head further into uncertain times, with a growing number of us in our homes with children of all ages, including adult children as they are sent home from closed colleges, shuttered abroad programs and rescinded job offers, we are in completely new territory. And for those of us in the middle of a relauncher job search, things are even more complicated given the economic forecasts we are facing. We turn to Dr. Lisa Damour for her guidance and wisdom. More information about Dr. Damour's work can be found at drlisadamour.com
Heather R. Ettinger Managing Partner, Fairport Wealth Founder & CEO, Luma Wealth Advisors LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherettinger14/ Heather Ettinger has devoted more than 25 years to the financial services industry. She specializes in helping clients and their families create strategic financial plans to guide them through life transitions, such as the loss of a spouse, divorce and job changes. Heather is widely recognized for her unique expertise, experience and dedication to helping women build their financial acumen and wealth, culminating in the launch of Luma Wealth Advisors in 2017. Heather co-authored two studies about women and their unique needs entitled “Women of Wealth: Why Does the Financial Services Industry Still Not Hear Them?” and “Women of Wealth: What Do Breadwinner Women Want?” Heather has been featured in many publications including The Wall Street Journal, Barron’s and Bloomberg and is a frequently requested speaker for both industry associations and company women’s initiatives. For conceiving new ideas and tools that have propelled the financial industry forward, she was recognized as a 2019 “Icons and Innovators” honoree by Investment News. In 2019, she also proudly accepted The Ruth Bader Ginsberg award for advancing the aspirations of women from the Women’s Vote Project. Heather remains an ardent supporter of her alma maters including Dartmouth College, where she earned a B.A., and Laurel School for girls, where she now serves as an Emeritus Trustee. She is active with In Counsel with Women and the nationally recognized wealth management study group, Family Wealth Advisors Council. She has served on numerous non-profit and private company boards across a wide range of industries including distribution, manufacturing, technology, trust services, financial services and healthcare. Her most recent board service includes University Hospitals Health System, The Private Trust Company, Asurint One Source Technology, Schwab Institutional Services Advisory Board, Racing Towards Diversity and Investment News. Heather lives in Shaker Heights, Ohio, with her husband, Jeff, and considers raising their three kids as her greatest accomplishment. In her free time, she can be found playing ice hockey, snow skiing and hiking. An authentic change-maker and advocate, Heather’s theme song is "You Will (The OWN Song)” by Jennifer Hudson and Jennifer Nettles. In this episode we discuss: Heather’s love of hockey and the demanding sport that it is How playing hockey was preparation for working in a ‘man’s world’ Migrating from the sports world to a financial world How outer physical strength contributes to inner strength Translating team playing skills to the workplace How women are the agents of social change The importance of chemistry when building a team The need for coaching at every level The need for ‘grit and gratitude’ The value of looking at both ‘the gap and the gain’ Remembering to celebrate successes and recognize the entire team Being prepared and communicating with intention Understanding your role and the impact you can have on your team Surrounding yourself with people that will give you honest & candid feedback and advice
Mom Enough: Parenting tips, research-based advice + a few personal confessions!
You probably remember the challenges of your own adolescence – on-again, off-again friendships, emotional highs and lows, worries about body image, anxiety about school, life and love. In today’s fast-paced world – and with both the opportunities and threats of ever-present technology – the stakes seem even higher for our daughters. In her book Untangled, psychologist Lisa Damour, mom of two daughters and Director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls, provides a rich framework for understanding the transitions teen girls face on the path to adulthood. Don’t miss her wisdom and practical guidance in this Mom Enough interview! What are some of the major challenges your adolescent daughter confronts today? How do these issues tie to the seven transitions Lisa Damour described in this Mom Enough discussion? How have you tried to guide your daughter through these challenges and how might you improve your response? Related Resources: For Untangled, click here. For a discussion guide for Untangled, click here.
Anxiety among teens and young adults is rising, and studies have shown that it has skyrocketed in girls. One study found that the number of girls who often felt nervous, worried or fearful jumped by 55 percent over a five-year period. What factors are behind rising stress and anxiety in girls and what can we do about it? Our guest is Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist and executive director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. She has a new book out called "Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls." APA is currently seeking proposals for APA 2020 sessions, learn more at http://convention.apa.org/proposals
“We run the risk now of raising a generation that is stressed about being stressed, and anxious about being anxious.”Lisa Damour, PhDToday’s expedition takes us into the beautifully mysterious world of parenting, with a specific lens on navigating the perplexing vicissitudes of the teenage girl — one of the most beguiling and opaque creatures I've encountered in my 52 years.I have been a parent and step-parent for two decades. Along the way, I successfully helped raise two young boys. Sure, I made many mistakes. But I also did a few things right. Today they are both amazing young men. And yet somehow that experience failed to adequately prepare me for the rather unique challenges I face guiding a teenage daughter towards adulthood — a joy that has at times brought me to my knees.To elevate my parenting game, I began searching for greater insight into the idiosyncratic psyche of the female adolescent. That quest continuously referred me to one notable expert: Lisa Damour, PhD.A teen whisperer par excellence, Lisa is a Yale educated psychotherapist with a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the University of Michigan who specializes in education and child development. But she is best known for her two New York Times bestselling books — Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood*; and her newest release, Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls*.The parent of two teenage girls herself, Lisa writes the monthly Adolescence column for the New York Times. In addition to her private consulting and psychotherapy practice, she is a regular contributor to CBS News, speaks internationally, is a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University, and serves as the Executive Director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls.This is all a long way of saying that when it comes to adolescents and teens, Lisa knows her shit.Today's conversation deconstructs the particular emotional overload and unique social pressures young people face – everything from sex and drugs to body image, grades, navigating social media and everything in between. By better understanding the nature of these dynamics, and how they specifically impact our young ones, we glean insight into how to optimally parent through them.In addition, we discuss the recent astronomical rise in stress and anxiety in young girls — what accounts for it, and what it means.We also cover the common mistakes many parents (myself included) often make. We delve deep into the importance of open communication and how to foster it.Finally, Lisa imparts a myriad of strategies to optimally pilot the healthy developmental transitions that specifically girls (but also boys) undergo as they mature into grownups so that we, as parents, can help cultivate self-esteem and self-efficacy in the next generation under our charge.If you are a parent of young humans trying to make the right moves — or just want to better understand how young people think and why they behave as they do — then this episode is appointment listening.Lisa’s books have been instrumental in improving how I parent my daughters, so this is a meeting of great personal significance I have been hotly awaiting for some time.They don’t call her the teen whisperer for nothing. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
I'm loving this show today, all about anxiety and girls with bestselling author Dr. Lisa Damour. Her new book has just been released: Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. We discuss what's normal and actually beneficial for teen girls when it comes to stress and anxiety, when you should worry, as well as the options available for talking with girls and young women to reduce their stress and anxiety on everything from embracing their bodies, dating to setting boundaries. We also get into an important conversation on microaggressions and racism -- pressures from our culture girls can't control, but we as parents and helping professionals can help all girls get through. About Lisa Lisa Damour writes the monthly Adolescence column for the New York Times, serves as a regular contributor to CBS News, maintains a private psychotherapy practice, consults and speaks internationally, is a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University, and serves as the Executive Director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. drlisadamour.com | Book: Under Pressure | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter --- Get the Body Kindness book It's available wherever books and audiobooks are sold. Read reviews on Amazon and pick up your copy today! Order signed copies and bulk discounts here! --- Donate to support the show Thanks to our generous supporters! We're working toward our goal to fund the full season. Can you donate? Please visit our Go Fund Me page. --- Get started with Body Kindness Sign up to get started for free and stay up to date on the latest offerings --- Become a client Check out BodyKindnessBook.com/breakthrough for the latest groups and individual support sessions --- Subscribe to the podcast We're on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify and iHeartRadio. Enjoy the show? Please rate it on iTunes! Have a show idea or guest recommendation? E-mail podcast@bodykindnessbook.com to get in touch. --- Join the Facebook group Continue the episode conversations with the hosts, guests, and fellow listeners on the Body Kindness Facebook group. See you there! Nothing in this podcast is meant to provide medical diagnosis, treatment, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. Individuals should consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical advice and answers to personal health questions.
That was my aim in writing the book- was both to offer reassurance, and then practical strategies for managing the stress and anxiety that will, invariably, come up. -Lisa Damour In episode 73, I'm chatting with Lisa Damour, Ph.D., the New York Times best-selling author of Untangled- Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions Into Adulthood. In this episode, we talk about Under Pressure- Confronting The Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Lisa is a clinical psychologist, in private practice. She shares some really encouraging insights about reframing the way that we think about stress and anxiety in ourselves and in our daughters and she also discusses ways that we can help ease the anxiety levels of our girls at home, at school, and in their social lives. Big ideas Both stress and anxiety are normal and healthy functions that are actually beneficial to us. Anxiety is a normal system that keeps us safe. It's an alarm that alerts us to pay attention and notice what's going on around us, or inside of us. Stress builds capacity, so when we operate at our outer edge, that edge usually grows and we develop new abilities. Quotes Audrey: "You have a great way of synthesizing the information and I think that's why people find your books so helpful. You have taken all this deep, heavy stuff about what's going on, and really put it down to the very simple to understand terms for those of us who work with girls, or have daughters." Audrey: "I think a lot of times parents are feeling stressed themselves about what to do and how to parent, and I think what your book provides is a sense of relief and encouragement that there are these things going on and yes, anxiety is a big issue, however, there are all these things that we can do, in different areas, to relieve some of that." Lisa: " The bottom line is that psychologists understand, and have long understood, that stress and anxiety are both normal and healthy functions. They both can reach troublesome degrees, and even when they do, we're really good at treating them. But, stress and anxiety are part of life, so stress is what happens when we operate at the edge of our capacities- any time that we take on something that requires us to adapt, to stretch, to grow, we will feel stressed by it." Lisa: "Anxiety is a normal system that keeps us safe. It's an alarm that alerts us to pay attention, to notice what's going on around us- or going on inside of us." Lisa: "Stress builds capacity. When we operate at our outer edge, usually our edge grows. We develop new abilities we didn't know we had." Lisa: "The kinds of principles I'm putting forward in here- these are well-established, very long-standing, fully understood beliefs in psychology that somehow became divorced from where the popular culture is now, which is the sense that all anxiety is troublesome, and all stress is pathological and we need to get rid of both." Lisa: "We run the risk now of raising a generation that is stressed about being stressed, and anxious about being anxious." Audrey: "The message that I got is that one way to ease the anxiety is to normalize it and explain that, even as adults, we have it too." Lisa: "That was my aim in writing the book- was both to offer reassurance, and then practical strategies for managing the stress and anxiety that will, invariably, come up." Lisa: "Most feelings will run their course." Lisa: "They (parents) have a lot of power and a lot of say and can make things go quite a bit more smoothly for their daughter, even under difficult conditions, if they can both validate, but not overreact at the same time." Audrey: "The end goal is for our kids to be able to live as functioning adults, on their own, separate from us, and not to needing to ask us about how to handle every little thing." Lisa: "The happiest girls have one or two friends, and our job, as adults, is to help them feel better about that." Lisa: "A thread that runs through the whole book is for me to kind of grapple with really well-meaning guidance that adults give, that in my experience, does not actually work all that well for girls... is our guidance around how they negotiate, what they do and don't want to do in romantic settings- when things get physical." Lisa: "We have to be mindful that there's a couple of scenarios that are highly likely to make it very, very hard for girls to follow our advice." Lisa: "We have to equip her for other possibilities- which are probably more likely." Audrey: "Enthusiastic agreement is what we want our daughters to be feeling before they're doing something." Lisa: "I think it is so good for girls to be in new settings, especially in settings where the technology goes away, to let their hair down, to get to explore sides of themselves that may not come up in their day-to-day at home." Lisa: "I've watched kids who are really struggling socially come back to school after a summer camp and just have a whole new repertoire of social skills that they never could have developed if they had stayed in their exact same social track with their friends at school." Highlight from Under Pressure- Confronting The Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls: "Much of what our girls learn about how to manage stress comes from observing how we manage it, as parents. Our daughters watch us for cues about how alarmed they should be by life's difficulties. When we let our own inner Chicken Little take over, and panic in the face of manageable challenges, we set a bad example. When we accept that stress often leads to growth, and help our girls do the same, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy for ourselves and for our daughters." About Lisa Lisa Damour writes the monthly Adolescence column for the New York Times, serves as a regular contributor to CBS News, maintains a private psychotherapy practice, consults and speaks internationally, is a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University, and serves as the Executive Director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Dr. Damour has written numerous academic papers, chapters, and books related to education and child development. She is also the author of two New York Times best selling books, Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood and Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Dr. Damour graduated with honors from Yale University and worked for the Yale Child Study Center before earning her doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the University of Michigan. She has been a fellow at Yale’s Edward Zigler Center in Child Development and Social Policy and the University of Michigan’s Power Foundation. She and her husband are the proud parents of two daughters. Links Lisa's website: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Related Posts and Podcasts Ep. 45: Social Media Wellness with Ana Homayoun 4 Ways to Focus on Our Kids' Strengths Ep. 28: Focusing on Our Kids' Strengths Helpful Books for Raising Daughters 7 Ways to Help Your Daughter Become a Thriving Adult
Lisa Damour, consulting psychologist at Laurel School (OH) and author of Untangled, describes what it’s like working at an all-girls school, how to help students build resilience, and what she’s reading right now.
Ann Klotz, headmistress at Laurel School (Ohio) speaks with us about her theatrical background, women in independent schools, and daring to fail gloriously.
Lisa Damour, PhD directs Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls, writes a monthly column for the New York Times, serves as a regular contributor to CBS News, maintains a private psychotherapy practice, consults and speaks internationally, and is a senior advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University. Dr. Damour is the author of numerous academic papers, chapters, and books related to education and child development, including Abnormal Psychology, a widely-used college textbook co-authored with Dr. James Hansell. Dr. Damour’s recent New York Times best seller, Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, is available from Ballantine Books, a division of Random House. Dr. Damour graduated with honors from Yale University and worked for the Yale Child Study Center before earning her doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the University of Michigan. She has been a fellow at Yale’s Edward Zigler Center in Child Development and Social Policy and the University of Michigan’s Power Foundation. She and her husband are the proud parents of two daughters. In this episode, Dr. Damour discusses her research on the natural stress and anxiety that comes with being a teenage girl in the 21st Century and how parents can help their daughters cope and even thrive under these conditions.
My guest today is Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist and director of the internationally renowned Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Lisa pulls back the curtain on the teenage years and shows why your daughter’s erratic and confusing behavior is actually healthy, necessary, and natural. Her book Untangled Guiding Teen Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, an instant New York Times best seller, explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. I am excited to speak with Lisa today about her book and dive a little deeper in one of the chapters. In this episode you will learn: Why Lisa wrote the book Helping parents and teen girls prepare for the future Teenage development is not a personal affront to parents Preparing for the future Requirements and concerns have changed over last ten years These changes are not in alignment with normal development Creating stress for parents and teen girls Can create parents to be too involved Many colleges to choose from, so not a crisis unless parents want teen to attend their school or believe only a few good colleges Power Struggle with homework Allowing teen daughter to receive consequences for her choices in completing assignments or preparing for school tests May need to rule out learning disorder or attention issues Parents have choice of negative outcome or positive outcome depending on what they say or do Lisa shares with parents in giving themselves permission to make these “mistakes” when daughter is in middle school vs waiting until high school Allow your daughter to feel disappointment Teens can struggle with perspective and here is where parents can support her as she moves through this temporary feeling/moment in her life Normal development for your daughter to place autonomy over majority of issues Leverage becomes about removing freedoms/privileges Using her desire for autonomy to help leverage because you can’t “make her” do anything Tips from Lisa Not taking your daughter’s journey into teenage land as personal “Can feel like a breakup” because when she was younger she would laugh at your jokes then around 12 or 13 she no longer thinks your funny Normal development can be challenging and hard If she could rename the book she call it “It’s not about you” because teenage development can seem like a personal affront to parents and its not Parents give yourselves permission to grieve the loss of this change in your relationship with your teen daughter because it is a loss Seek support from friends and colleagues during this stage of life I have some upcoming announcements I will be making for both teen girls and their moms, so go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com to sign up for the newsletter. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Lisa’s Information: Website: www.drlisadamour.com Book: Untangled Guiding Teen Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
Tweet 34:06 minutes (39.02 MB)Our guest on today's show is Lisa Damour, pyschologist, author, and director of the Laurel School's Center for Research on Girls. Lisa deftly navigated our questions on teenagers, girls, and why adults are so wonky around adolescents. She opens her new book, Untangled, with this line:read more
On December 30, 2013, Laurel School’s Ann V. Klotz (Head of School) and Lisa Damour, Ph.D. (Director of The Center for Research on Girls at Laurel School) were interviewed for the Vancouver, Canada radio show, The Shift, on CKNW 980AM in response to a TIME.com article. The article is about a new study out of Colombia that contradicts previous research on gender roles and single-sex schooling for girls.
Professionally produced radio spot advertising Nov. 10, 2013 Open House
Professionally produced radio spot advertising Nov. 10, 2013 Open House
Professionally produced radio spot advertising Nov. 10, 2013 Open House
Professionally produced radio spot advertising Nov. 10, 2013 Open House
Research shows that *grit* (the ability to recover from setbacks and cope effectively with stress) may be as essential to success as talent or intelligence. In this lecture, learn what the research tells us about how to build grit in girls and raise a resilient daughter. This podcast was recorded at Laurel School on March 6, 2013. Speakers are: Dr. Lisa Damour, Director of the Center for Research on Girls; Dr. Tori Cordiano, Asst. Director of the Center for Research on Girls, and Ann V. Klotz, Head of School.
Research shows that *grit* (the ability to recover from setbacks and cope effectively with stress) may be as essential to success as talent or intelligence. In this lecture, learn what the research tells us about how to build grit in girls and raise a resilient daughter. This podcast was recorded at Laurel School on October 24, 2012. Speakers are: Dr. Lisa Damour, Director of the Center for Research on Girls; Dr. Tori Cordiano, Asst. Director of the Center for Research on Girls, and Ann V. Klotz, Head of School.
Professionally produced radio spot advertising Nov. 4, 2012 Open House
Professionally produced radio spot advertising Nov. 4, 2012 Open House
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