Podcasts about mindful recovery

In this episode I speak with Korin, who has been working in the disability space for the last 4 years, currently working in behaviour support and supporting a team of practitioners under NDIS. In this role Korin supports people from various trauma backgrounds and helps to improve their lives and educate support workers, families and other providers to enable them to live out their full potential. Korin has a passion in advocating for human rights and accessibility for all and is about to expand into providing supervision to social work students undergoing their placements.Links to resources mentioned in this week's episode:Big Brothers Big Sisters Australia - https://bigbrothersbigsisters.org.au/Mindful Recovery DBT Centre - https://www.mindfulrecovery.com.au/Alex Wilson (of Mindful Recovery) featured on Social Work Spotlight - https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/fx8u6TaZvRbThe Assertive Social Worker - https://www.instagram.com/theassertivesocialworker/Chantelle Towers (The Assertive Social Worker) featured on Social Work Spotlight - https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/NSSLoyaZvRbThe Playful Psychologist - https://www.theplayfulpsychologist.com/This episode's transcript can be viewed here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/180e0-3pyDKo_0Pv98td4MVkC3wCwG9VFHpMpSOZJsJI/edit?usp=sharing

Redefining HALT – A New Path to Recovery and Wellness

In this conversation, licensed therapist Darrin Ford shares his journey from skeptic to advocate of mindfulness practices in recovery. Drawing from 20 years of clinical experience and his own recovery journey, Ford explores how mindfulness can help break destructive patterns and foster authentic self-discovery. He discusses the science behind meditation's effectiveness, dispels common misconceptions, and offers practical insights for integrating mindfulness into daily life. Whether you're in recovery, a helping professional, or simply curious about mindfulness, this episode provides valuable perspectives on using meditation as a tool for healing and personal growth. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit his⁠ patreon⁠⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found on ⁠Instagram⁠, or at his ⁠website⁠. He is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Welcome to Relaxing Meditation Hey there! Welcome to Relaxing Meditation, your personal oasis of calm in the chaotic world . Need a break from the hustle and bustle? You're in the right place! ‍♂️ Join us for a Journey of Serenity ‍♀️ Ready to unwind and find your zen? Our podcast specializes in soothing sounds and tranquil melodies to help you relax, recharge, and reconnect with your inner peace. Whether you're a meditation newbie or a seasoned pro, we've got something for everyone! What Makes Us Special? Picture this: a magical blend of ambient sounds, gentle nature recordings, and calming tunes . Each episode is crafted with love and mindfulness to transport you to a state of pure bliss. Say goodbye to stress and hello to serenity! Your Daily Dose of Peace and Calm Looking for a moment of tranquility in your hectic day? Look no further! Tune in for daily doses of relaxation that will leave you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to tackle whatever life throws your way . Ready to Start Your Meditation Journey? Hit that subscribe button to access our latest episodes and embark on a journey towards inner harmony . And hey, if you love what you hear (which we know you will!), don't forget to leave us a review and spread the word to your friends and family . Thank You for Choosing Relaxing Meditation From all of us here at Relaxing Meditation, thank you for joining us on this journey towards a calmer, more peaceful you. Until next time, may you be calm, may you be centered, and may you find peace within . Relaxing meditation, Meditation sounds, Relaxing meditation, Relaxing meditation, Calm meditation, Guided meditation, Mindfulness meditation, Deep relaxation, Meditation for sleep, Stress relief meditation, Yoga meditation, Tranquil meditation, Peaceful meditation, Serene meditation, Meditation for anxiety, Healing meditation, Zen meditation, Breathing meditation, Sleep meditation sounds, Relaxation techniques, Relaxation meditation sounds, Sleep meditation, Body scan meditation, Relaxation exercises, Meditation for beginners, Meditation for stress, Morning meditation, Evening meditation,Relaxing meditation, Relaxing meditation, Meditation for focus, Meditation for peace, Nature sounds meditation, Mindfulness relaxation, Meditation for relaxation and stress relief, Relaxing sounds, Meditation for self-love, Meditation for mental health, Meditation for inner peace, Zen sounds, Calming meditation sounds, Quiet meditation, Restorative meditation, Visualization meditation, Chakra meditation, Forest sounds meditation, Ocean sounds meditation, Rain sounds meditation, Spa sounds meditation, Buddhist meditation, Transcendental meditation,Relaxing meditation, Relaxing meditation, Yoga nidra meditation, Progressive muscle relaxation, Tibetan singing bowls meditation, Binaural beats meditation, Delta waves meditation, Alpha waves meditation, Theta waves meditation, Healing frequencies meditation, Sleep hypnosis, Deep sleep meditation, ASMR meditation, Affirmation meditation, Positive energy meditation, Relaxation response meditation,Relaxing meditation, Relaxing meditation, Mindful breathing meditation, Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) meditation, Loving-kindness meditation, Gratitude meditation.

In this episode of "Sisters in Sobriety," host Sonia Kahlon is joined by the inspiring Valerie Mason-John, also known as Vimalasara. Valerie is a renowned author and public speaker whose work in the field of addiction and recovery has made a profound impact. Today, Sonia explores Valerie's unique approach to addiction recovery, which blends mindfulness, compassion, and holistic practices. They will be discussing Valerie's journey, their groundbreaking methodologies, and how these can help listeners on their own sobriety journeys.Valerie Mason-John (Vimalasara) is the author of several acclaimed books, including "Eight Step Recovery: Using the Buddha's Teachings to Overcome Addiction" and "Detox Your Heart: Meditations for Emotional Trauma." They are also a public speaker and co-founder of the international Mindfulness-Based Addiction Recovery (MBAR) program. With their extensive background in both addiction recovery and Buddhism, Valerie offers a unique perspective that combines practical strategies with spiritual insights. Their latest book, "First Aid Kit for the Mind: Breaking the Cycle of Habitual Behaviors," continues to provide valuable tools for those seeking recovery.Throughout the episode, listeners will delve into key questions such as: What are the primary triggers for addictive behaviors? How can mindfulness and meditation be integrated into recovery practices? What role does self-compassion play in overcoming addiction? By addressing these questions, the episode provides valuable insights and practical strategies for listeners on their sobriety journey.Educational takeaways from this episode include understanding the habit loop of addiction, the importance of creating a personalized recovery plan, and techniques for managing cravings and triggers. Listeners will also learn about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness, and how these practices can support long-term recovery and emotional well-being.In the personal story segment, Valerie shares their journey from struggling with addiction to becoming a leader in the recovery community. Their candid account of overcoming challenges and finding empowerment through mindfulness and compassion is both moving and motivational. Valerie also discusses how their Buddhist practice has shaped their approach to addiction and recovery, providing deeper insights into the spiritual aspects of their journey.This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.Highlights:[00:01:00] - Introduction to Valerie Mason-John, also known as Vimalasara, author and public speaker with a profound impact on the field of addiction and recovery.[00:02:00] - Valerie's early life and initial struggles with addiction, including sugar and shoe cleaner.[00:04:00] - Valerie discussing the challenges of disordered eating and their journey with bulimia and anorexia.[00:06:00] - The turning point in Valerie's life when they realized the need to seek recovery.[00:07:30] - Valerie's experience working with women in rehab and the influence of the Petrasca cycle of change.[00:09:00] - The beginning of Valerie's sobriety journey and the role of meditation and mindfulness.[00:10:20] - Valerie's one-woman show and how it influenced their recovery from disordered eating.[00:11:00] - The role of specialized treatment in Valerie's recovery from disordered eating.[00:12:30] - Valerie discussing the importance of mindfulness and meditation in their recovery.[00:13:30] - How Buddhist teachings, particularly the Four Noble Truths, shaped Valerie's approach to recovery.[00:15:00] - Valerie explaining the concept of “going for refuge” in Buddhism and its impact on their recovery.[00:17:00] - The significance of letting go in the context of recovery and stopping addictive behaviors.[00:19:00] - The story of Angulimala and its relevance to addiction recovery.[00:22:00] - The difference between stopping a thought and spiritual bypassing in recovery.[00:23:30] - Valerie's perspective on self-love and compassion as critical components of recovery.[00:25:00] - The importance of addressing childhood conditioning and trauma in the recovery process.[00:27:00] - Valerie distinguishing between mindfulness and meditation and their interconnection.[00:30:00] - The realization that the biggest addiction was their own thinking and how to manage stinking thinking.[00:34:00] - The practice of recognizing thoughts without a thinker and understanding that thoughts are not facts.[00:40:00] - Valerie explaining the concept of coming home to the body and its significance in recoverLinks:First Aid Kit for the Mind BookValerie Mason-John's WebsiteSisters In Sobriety Substack - find more tips, tricks, resources, and communitySisters In Sobriety EmailSisters In Sobriety InstagramKathleen's Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcastKathleen's Instagram

Pushing limits and pampering muscles? Find out how we balance intense workouts with mindful recovery on this week's QH Sunday episode. 

To access our conference library of 200+ fascinating psychology talks and interviews (with certification), please visit: https://twumembers.com The latest research on autism and the brain is indicating that it affects the brain in much the same way as complex trauma. What does this mean for the delivery of behavioral and social services? If the brain is affected in the same ways as trauma what does this mean for educational, vocational, and developmental goals in the individual's life? How do we progress with treatment based on the research of the last six years? In this session, Robert will introduce the latest research, outline how the brain reacts to both trauma and autism in the same way, and what this means in the real world for treatment services. Using case examples and his own observation, Robert will lay out a method and direction for treatment that is making a profound difference in the lives of the individuals he supports every day. From families to schools to employment and individual struggles, you'll discover the methods that can bring lasting change to lives, and often reduce or remove the necessity for expensive behavioral services. --- This session was recorded as part of the A Day on Neurodiversity on August 2022. To access the full conference package, as well as supporting materials, quizzes, and certification, please visit: https://theweekenduniversity.com/lecture_day/neurodiversity/ --- Robert Cox is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Nationally Certified Counselor. He has been providing services for individuals on the autism spectrum for more than 20 years. He is the creator of the nonprofit The Tristn Jevon Center for Recovery a trauma treatment center in Richmond, Missouri specializing in the treatment of trauma, addictions, and autism. He trains and uses mindfulness practice in the control of anxiety and mental health issues resulting from trauma in his practice and produces the podcast “Mindful Recovery” to bring these topics to all podcast listeners. Links: - Get our latest psychology lectures emailed to your inbox: http://bit.ly/new-talks5 - Check out our next event: http://theweekenduniversity.com/events - Robert Cox's profile: https://liferecoveryconsulting.org/staff/meet-robert/ - Robert Cox's book: https://amzn.to/3Bp5KN8

E301– Inner Voice – a Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan. Dr. Foojan chats with Dr. Kathleen carterMartinez, Ed.D., L.C.P.C., D.A.A.E.T.S., C.R.T., C.S.A. has a passion for Mindful Recovery from Trauma. She is an author and is a licensed clinical psychotherapist. Dr.Kc received her Doctorate in Healthcare from Nova Southeastern University, her master's in clinical psychology from Fairleigh Dickinson University, and her bachelor's in forensic psychology from John Jay College of Criminal Justice. At CheyWind Center for Trauma and Healing, Dr. Kathleen carterMartinez is a specialist in the Crisis of Suicide and Trauma and has devoted her professional life to changing the climate of the culture and conversation about the final destination globally understood as suicide. As a Compassionate, Mindful Practitioner, she advocates for a mindful approach to trauma and healing. Through her work at CheyWind Center, Dr. Kc provides hope and comfort for all who live in the aftermath of trauma and those who live with the heartbreaking loss of loved ones who lose their battle with suicide. At the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, Dr. carterMartinez holds Diplomate status as an expert in Traumatic Stress and certifications in rape trauma and Sexual Assault Trauma Dr. Kc is driven by a passion for working with those wounded by personal traumatic events and guides us on the journey from trauma to healing through empathy and compassionate trauma recovery. Dr. Kathleen carterMartinez is the author of: “Permission Granted the Journey from Trauma to Healing”, and “Where Do We Come From? Where Do We Go?” The expected release date of her third book: “Fractured Spirit: The Soft Side of Suicide” is 2024. You can find her at https://www.cheywindcenter.com .We speak about all the unwavering signs of suicide and how to be aware of it.   Check out my website: www.FoojanZeine.com.   Remember to Subscribe, Listen, Review, and Share! Find me on these sites: *iTunes (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i...) *Google Play (https://play.google.com/music/m/Inpl5...) *Stitcher (https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=185544...) *YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/DrFoojanZeine ) Platforms to Like and Follow: *Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/DrFoojanZeine/) *Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/Dr.FoojanZe...) *Twitter (https://www.twitter.com/DrZeine/) *LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrFoojanZ...) Guest  

What is mindfulness? What is the path to happiness? How do we overcome addictions using mindfulness? And what are some of the key teachings of Buddhism?Today I am speaking with Buddhist psychologist and best-selling author, Thomas Bien, PhD in a fascinating conversation about happiness, mindfulness and recovery from trauma and addictions.Dr Bien has lectured around the world and spent time with the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hahn (or Thay).---Dr. Thomas Bien is a licensed psychologist, author, and mindfulness teacher.  In addition to his doctorate in psychology, he also holds a master's degree in theology from Princeton Theological Seminary.   He is the author of numerous scientific articles and book chapters in psychology, especially in the areas of spirituality and addiction. He is the author of Mindful Recovery, Finding the Center Within, and Mindful Therapy. He is also the coeditor of Mindfulness and the Therapeutic Relationship. Some of the topics and questions to cover:I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?I would love for you to share some of the insights you learned about the path to happiness. How do we lead a more contented and happier life?What are some of the Buddhist teachings that have had the greatest impact on you?What are some of the Buddhist teachings that have had the greatest impact on your clients?What are some of the barriers to happiness?How do we start to learn to enjoy the small, joyful moments more and more?Many of my listeners have been through a lot of trauma. What is your suggestion for those who have been through trauma? What has worked best for your clients and in the research that you've done?Could you talk about mindfulness and addictions please? In your work what is the cause of addictions and how does mindfulness help with the overcoming of addictions?What are some of the tools that you recommend for overcoming anxiety and stress?To learn more about Dr Bien work's please visit: https://www.mindfulpsychology.com/And to purchase his books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thomas-Bien/e/B001ITTUC6/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Welcome to another episode of The Authentic Change Podcast, I am Mike Horne, your host and I am joined today by Angie Chaplin, who is a leadership speaker, facilitator, educator, and coach, with more than two decades of work in organizational leadership and human resources. Angie owns Mindful Leadership, a consulting business that has been operating since October 2020. Leveraging her own journey from alcohol addiction to business owner, Angie expanded Mindful Leadership's impact in 2022 by adding Mindful Recovery. Offering addiction recovery support through online meetings and courses, Mindful Recovery integrates science-based recovery pathways with self-leadership practices backed by four decades of research.   Key Takeaways: [3:05] Angie describes herself. [4:39] Angie shares her journey in understanding her values. [6:41] Angie talks about the Leadership Challenge. [8:21] We choose our values. [9:42] Leadership is a way of life, a consistent approach throughout different areas of your life. [11:50] Angie discusses how people are increasingly more aware of behaviors in the workplace as symptoms, but only when we get to the source of the problematic behavior can we really address it. [14:43] How do leaders model the way in today's environment? [17:01] We get unlimited values in life, but Angie explains her work on 55 of them. [23:08] What happens when we incorporate values into our behaviors? [29:20] Keep present that someone else's values can be different than yours. [30:40] Doing what you say you will do is key in leadership.   Mentioned in this episode: Learn more about Mike Horne on Linkedin Email Mike at mike@mike-horne.com Find more about Leading People and Culture with Authenticity   Learn more about Angie Chaplin Email Angie at angie@angiechaplin.com

Angie Chaplin is the founder and owner of Mindful Leadership, a consulting practice grounded in leadership research and guided by mindful behavior. Built on a foundation of nearly 30 years of work in organizational leadership, human resources, and higher education, Angie is a sought-after speaker, facilitator, and educator. Leveraging her own journey from alcohol addiction to business owner, Angie expanded Mindful Leadership's impact in 2022 by adding Mindful Recovery. Offering addiction recovery support through online meetings and courses, Mindful Recovery integrates science-based recovery pathways with self-leadership practices backed by four decades of research. As an internationally recognized Certified Master for The Leadership Challenge, a contributing author of The Leadership Challenge Workshop Facilitator's Guide and The Leadership Challenge Activities Book, Angie is a highly regarded expert in educating and empowering leaders to live, love, and lead extraordinary lives of their own design.CONNECT WITH ANGIE:LinkedinTwitterFacebookwww.angiechaplin.com Produced by: Northgate Marketing, Inc. Host: David Allen Tracy  CONNECT WITH DAVID:InstagramLinkedin FOLLOW NORTHGATE:LinkedinInstagramFacebookYouTubewww.wearenorthgate.comSUBSCRIBE TO MIDNIGHT FOOD COMA

David and Nate chat with Serge Prengel, the author of The Proactive Twelve Steps for Mindful Recovery.

Angie Chaplin joins us to share her incredible story of alcoholism to recovery. It's quite a story of letting go of real or imagined roles we fall into along the journey of life. Recovery and work have helped her transform her life and live mindfully! Enjoy the show. Angie Chaplin is the founder and owner of Mindful Leadership, a coaching and consulting practice grounded in leadership research and guided by mindful behavior. Built on a foundation of nearly 30 years of work in organizational leadership, human resources, and higher education, Angie is a sought-after speaker, coach, facilitator, and educator. Leveraging her own journey from alcohol addiction to business owner, Angie recently announced Mindful Leadership's expansion to include Mindful Recovery. Through coaching groups integrating science-based recovery pathways with self-leadership practices backed by research, Mindful Recovery groups guide members to achieve and maintain freedom from alcohol. As one of only 50 Certified Masters of The Leadership Challenge, a contributing author of The Leadership Challenge Workshop Facilitator's Guide and The Leadership Challenge Activities Book, Angie specializes in educating empowering leaders on living, loving, and leading exemplary lives of their own design. angiechaplin.com instagram.com/angie_chaplin --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/recoverynuggetspodcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/recoverynuggetspodcast/support

This week on Sober Exposure we are joined by the soothing sounds of Lane Kennedy. Lane is known as a modern day calm maker, or calm coach. She has helped thousands of stressed out people achieve a renewed sense of deep, inner connectedness in order to bring a sense of fulfillment and peace into their lives. Lane is a Human Potential Coach, a Hormone Cure Practitioner. A DNA Coach. A certified Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) teacher. Graduate of the Neuroscience Academy. Completed a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training program. Lane is a twice-certified Yoga Nidra Guid, a Revelation Breathwork Facilitator, and a Peer Certified Recovery Coach. After college, building companies, and childbirth, Lane's studies and constant desire to help others has led her on a couple of decades of research.   Find Lane here: https://lanekennedy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/Lane_Kennedy_ https://www.facebook.com/lanekennedycoach https://www.youtube.com/c/lanekennedylevy https://twitter.com/lanekennedy  

For decades, clinicians have used mindfulness-based interventions to treat stress, physical pain, and mental disorders. But there's more to meditation than “mindfulness” alone, and the next wave of researchers in this field is still working out how to incorporate other practices from the wisdom traditions that gave rise to mindfulness-based treatment in the first place.Dr. Eric Garland is a clinical researcher who has devoted his life to developing a novel mind-body therapy called Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement (MORE), which combines mindfulness with other practices and exercises to promote a greater sense of well-being and even self-transcendence as part of the recovery process. His work has strong evidence for efficacy in treating not just addiction, but also chronic pain.Eric Garland PhD, LCSW, is the Distinguished Endowed Chair in Research and Distinguished Professor and Associate Dean for Research at the University of Utah College of Social Work, where he is also the director of the Center on Mindfulness and Integrative Health Intervention Development (C-MIIND). He has received over $60 million in federal grants to develop and test novel integrative health interventions, including trials of MORE as a treatment for opioid problems, opioid use disorder, and chronic pain. His website is www.drericgarland.com, and you can find him on Twitter. In this episode: - The three pillars of Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement, including “reappraisal”—skills for disengaging from and reframing negative thoughts—and “savoring”—using focused attention training to tune in to natural reward.- The use of self-transcendence as a clinical intervention, including evidence about how even folks with severe problems can tap into a sense of transcendence and experience significant symptom relief.- The challenges of “McMindfulness,” and how Eric thinks about doing mechanistic research on mindfulness without totally abandoning ethics, values, and meaning. (see David Loy and Ron Purser's essay on McMindfulness here)- A central question for his biological research: "how do you restore the healthy function of the reward system, so the brain re-leans what is and what is not important in life? what is and is not meaningful in life?"- Eric's counterintuitive approach to working with chronic pain by going directly into the heart of pain—and how this applies to mental pain such as craving.- How to get from mindfulness to meaning—how certain types of mindfulness practice can lead to an enduring sense of meaning and purpose Sign up for my newsletter for regular updates on new material and other writings.

Episode Timeline Larissa sits down with Mindful Recovery Coach, Lucius Irvin. "With 14 years of recovery, Lucius Irvin has experienced the trials and tribulations of both active addiction and also the ups and downs of daily recovery. Understanding that recovery is non-linear and often difficult he brings his experience, strength and hope into his work as a Mindful Recovery Coach."    00:27 Being Present brought to you by Lucius Irvin   01:48 Mindful Recovery Coach Lucius Irvin 02:54 Tips from Mindful Recovery Coach Lucius Irvin 05:02 Getting Support 07:24 Focus on Your Humanity 10:22 Call to Action  Show Transcript Transcript Mindful Recovery Coach Lucius Irvin  Show Links Follow Larissa on social media @coach_larissat Learn more about Lucius Irvin: Mindful Recovery Coach  Learn more about Lorick Road Creative Follow the Series Using the tag, Larissa Caregiver Tips, to find all episodes in the series! Subscribe You can subscribe to Larissa's Caregiver Tips podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your audio. If you enjoyed this episode make sure to listen to others here. Join the Conversation! Make sure to join the conversation on your favorite social channel using #coach_larissat. If you enjoyed this episode then make sure to listen to others! Want to advertise/sponsor our show Link to your AdvertiseCast listing  Disclaimer The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers and are not necessarily representative of the views, thoughts, and opinions held by Lorick Road Road Creative (LRC). TAGS Larissa Caregiver Tips Series

Therapist and host of the Mindful Recovery podcast, Robert Cox, shares his grieving process after the tragic loss of his son, Tristn Jevon, to an overdose in February of this year.   Support the Tristn Jevon Recovery Foundation Mindful Recovery Podcast   Support the LAT Podcast LAT listed in the Top 30 Trauma Podcasts   Transcript: Alyssa Scolari [00:03]: [Music 00:00:03] Alyssa Scolari [00:23]: Hi everybody. If you are new here, welcome, and if you are not new, then welcome back. I'm going to dive right into it today. We have special guest Robert Cox, who is an LPC, a therapist, in Missouri, specializing in trauma, addictions and autism. He is the creator and founder of Life Recovery Consulting, which will soon be turning into a nonprofit organization called The Tristn Jevon Center for Recovery. Robert is also the host of The Mindful Recovery Podcast, which I had the honor of being a guest on. It is a fantastic podcast that covers all things addiction, trauma and mental health related. Welcome, Robert. Thank you for being here. Robert Cox [01:14]: Thanks for having me here. I appreciate it. Alyssa Scolari [01:17]: Now you do a lot of incredible things. I feel like there are so many different conversations that I would love to have with you. First, let's just talk a little bit about your podcast. The Mindful Recovery, when did you start that up? Robert Cox [01:39]: I started it probably five or six years ago but I took two years off because life got very complicated for me and building this group practice, The Life Recovery Consulting, was taking up all of my time, but I continued to get downloads and I continued to get emails from people saying, "When are you going to get a new episode out? This really helps me." And so just last January I started it back up and we're currently at like 380,000 downloads or so in like 90 countries, so it's ringing a bell with some people because I've only got about 35 or 36 episodes out total, right, so we're averaging about 5,000 a week hits so it's doing pretty well right now. Alyssa Scolari [02:22]: Wow. Robert Cox [02:23]: It just came out of the fact that I had been an addict with a lot of trauma myself and in my recovery when I thought mindfulness saved my butt to a large extent. I was a practicing Buddhist for 15 years and that really helped me, so I thought I might as well share this space and some of the information that I've accrued not just as a professional with a Master's degree but as someone who's been there and done that and made really stupid choices. Alyssa Scolari [02:53]: Right, and in listening to your podcast that's something that, one of the many things that makes your podcast really great is the vulnerability that you add in again coming to this as a human who has been through some shit, made some mistakes. Just so the listeners out there know, I first found Robert on a platform that we are both a part of as podcasters and he had posted in the Facebook group that he was starting up his podcast again after taking a break for a couple of years. Then we touched base and we planned to record together and after doing some more research on Robert and listening to his podcasts I had realized that he had been through a great, great loss recently and today we are here to talk about that. If you wouldn't mind Robert, I will turn it over to you, if you wouldn't mind sharing what life has been like for you for the last several months. Robert Cox [04:07]: Wow. It's been a lot of loss. I talk a lot on my podcast about holding space for the pain and not trying to numb it out and trying to learn from it or make something of it instead of just allowing it to eat you alive. I have struggled with every avenue of addiction. My own addiction and then my wife relapsed while we were married and she has bravely overcome that. Then we dealt with my oldest child, my stepchild, he came to me when he was about five or six years old and the first five or six years of his life were pretty horrible. There was a lot of abuse involved and so those issues left him, all adolescents go through the experimental phase with drugs and alcohol, that's pretty normal actually, the problem is that when there's a lot of trauma there that they haven't dealt with, much like I did, they realize hey, when I'm doing this I don't hate myself so much. I can actually talk to people without feeling like a piece of crap. Robert Cox [05:15]: That's what he discovered, and he went down that rabbit hole and we talked about it honestly, his mom and I set healthy boundaries, and I really do believe, and I've talked to our family therapist about it and she believed too, all of us believed that he had a really, really good heart and eventually he was going to overcome this like I did when I was his age. But he didn't have time. He had dental surgery and didn't feel like he had enough painkiller so he went to his dealer and got what he thought were Percocets but they were actually laced with fentanyl and that one or two week period he and seven other people died from those pills. Robert Cox [05:59]: On February 4th we got a knock on the door and he'd been in jail before so the police are there and I'm like, oh crap. What's going on with Tristn? Alyssa Scolari [06:09]: Right. Robert Cox [06:10]: That was not what we expected to hear. I don't know, it's changed my whole world. I always thought about him, I always worried about him, but like every minute of every day now is pretty much me thinking about him in one way or another. Part of understanding that is being able to hold space again and practice what I preach and not retreat from that pain. Robert Cox [06:42]: I did an episode on the stages of grief and talked about that a little bit on those two episodes, but truthfully the stage I was in for weeks was just being pissed at him for not listening to what I was telling him. For not taking seriously what I was saying and just being really pissed. Then there was the phase of being pissed at myself because, pardon my French, but I'm a fucking addictions therapist and I can't help my son? Are you kidding me? Alyssa Scolari [07:09]: Yeah. Robert Cox [07:12]: Understanding those spaces and not retreating from them was, is, really important. I would say honestly I agreed to do this podcast, when you asked me about this topic and you were very polite about saying, "If that's too much I totally get it," and I'm like, I kind of see this as an opportunity to embrace that space again knowing full well that what it's going to do is probably lay me out for a day or two. The last time I dealt with this pretty much at this level was when my daughter and my wife, we got these little kind of amulet things that you can put ashes in, they could not bring themselves to sit down and do that. I'm Dad, I'm supposed to hold the pain for my family, so I said I'll do it. But it knocked me down for a couple of days. Alyssa Scolari [08:03]: Yeah. Robert Cox [08:04]: Understanding that that's going to happen, knowing that doing this podcast with you, it's going to leave me in a funk for a couple days, but also knowing that I'm going to survive that and that that's a space I need to enter into sometimes in order to heal, is really, really important. Part of that healing for me has been sharing with the listeners and stuff and getting feedback from them about that it's helped them and part of the healing for me was starting the foundation in his name, The Tristn Jevon Center for Recovery, which if you go on GoFundMe you can find it there, The Tristn Jevon Center for Recovery. Alyssa Scolari [08:41]: Yep, and I will absolutely make sure to link that in the show notes. Robert Cox [08:44]: And we've raised enough money on there that I could at least pay for the attorney and get that started and get the nonprofit going so that we can provide services for people who can't afford them and free coaching seminars and public things and this kind of stuff, educating the public about these things and hopefully helping other people to not have to go through this because quite frankly he didn't get as lucky as I got. When I was only two years older than him my heart stopped but I lived, and that was the last time I used. Alyssa Scolari [09:17]: Wow. You were two years older than Tristn was and your heart stopped as a result of your substance abuse? Robert Cox [09:26]: Yeah, putting too much cocaine and methamphetamine and whatever else in my system and your body just says you know what? I quit. That's too much. Alyssa Scolari [09:34]: Yeah. Robert Cox [09:36]: I lived through that event and there's a little voice in my head that said, is that really the way you want to go out? The answer was no, and so I've been clean 33 years since that. Robert Cox [09:48]: My hope was he will be smarter than I was and come out of this before something like that happens. We talked about it frequently but denial is a powerful part of addiction. All we could do is keep the boundaries there and hope for the best and it did not come out for the best. Alyssa Scolari [10:06]: No. Robert Cox [10:08]: But this being able to hold space, being able to maintain that vulnerable space where you're hurting and not numb that out is so important. The night after the memorial service, wife and daughter and I and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, we all went out to a nice Italian restaurant to eat together. Kind of something some people do. My daughter leaned over to me and said, "Dad, it's okay if you have a glass of wine today. I understand." Alcohol was never my problem, so she wasn't worrying about me relapsing or anything. Alyssa Scolari [10:38]: Right. Robert Cox [10:39]: She's seen me have a drink before at dinner and it was fine and she just said, "If you need a drink, I get it." I said to her, "The problem, kiddo, is that I really do need a drink and so I'm not going to have one." Alyssa Scolari [10:53]: What a powerful statement. Robert Cox [10:55]: Back to what my sponsor said years ago, he said, "If you can take it or leave it, then you can have it. But if you feel like you got to have it, then you better leave it." Alyssa Scolari [11:07]: Wow. Robert Cox [11:08]: That is exactly what goes through my mind in every one of those situations and I said, "The problem is, kiddo, I really want one right now but I want it to stop the hurt. I want it to numb me out, and that's not a good reason." Alyssa Scolari [11:20]: Yep. Robert Cox [11:23]: Part of what gets me through this is being able to inhabit a teaching space at the same time I'm going through it. That was a moment where I could explain to her that yes there are times in our lives we're going to want to numb out really bad. Those are the times we shouldn't. Alyssa Scolari [11:40]: Yeah, and I can think of no more difficult time than this to want to numb out, especially as you ... There's so much that you touched on, from the stages of grief to even just the pressure that you feel kind of as the man to kind of absorb the family pain. It is just so much and I also want to point out to the listeners that this was less than two months ago that Tristn passed. Robert Cox [12:12]: February 4th. Alyssa Scolari [12:13]: Yep, so today that we are recording is March 25th, so this is so fresh. Robert Cox [12:20]: Six weeks, yeah. Alyssa Scolari [12:23]: I guess one of my questions for you is was there a sense of, because in one of your podcast episodes you talk about this concept of anticipatory grief. Can you talk a little bit about what that is and was that an experience for you? Robert Cox [12:43]: Sure. Not with Tristn, no. Denial was not something the addict goes through. Denial is also something we go through and I kept telling myself, "He'll come around. He'll come around." The truth is there's nothing I could have done in that space. Alyssa Scolari [12:57]: Yeah. Robert Cox [12:58]: But no, as a parent ... When I talked about anticipatory grief it was because my father had Lewy Body dementia as a result of his Parkinson's, was going in a nursing home and that was a very real space at one point that we thought he wasn't going to live beyond a week and I knew this was coming because I could see the fade and suddenly we moved him to a better nursing home and he's doing a lot better but that was what started that anticipatory grief was understanding that this is coming and hopefully with parents and stuff we have time, but it's not something that any parent's going to ever be able to anticipate or prepare for. Robert Cox [13:36]: One of the things I point out in the episode is even if you prepare for it, you're still going to feel completely unprepared for it. What did help was educating myself beforehand about grief and because of my field I understood the stages and so instead of, when I got really pissed at Tristn for OD'ing I didn't think I was a bad person, I just thought yeah, that's the stage I'm in with this right now and I could allow myself a little grace and space without feeling shame over being angry with him. You know what I mean? Just understand that's a normal part of the healing process. That is really one way that we can prepare for grief when it comes, because it's going to come. No matter how much we prepare, there are times that it's going to come and we're completely unprepared for it and no matter how much we prepare for it, even the times that we were planning on, are going to hit us in a way that we weren't prepared for. Robert Cox [14:30]: When I talk about anticipatory grief I'm talking about really moving into the idea that loss is a part of life and it's going to be painful and if you try and numb out that pain you're going to create ... I tell my grad students, I tell my patients all the time, if there's one thing I could get across to people in recovery, whether from mental illness or from addictions or whatever, it's that pain is a guarantee in life. Suffering is something we choose when we try and avoid it. Alyssa Scolari [15:03]: Yeah. Robert Cox [15:05]: I'm not saying go looking for pain. I'm not saying create pain. I'm saying don't numb it out when it comes to you. Use it. Alyssa Scolari [15:13]: Right, it's when we try to numb our pain with things like drugs or food or sex or what have you, that's when the pain turns into suffering. Robert Cox [15:26]: Absolutely. I have been very, very conscientious about trying to inhabit that space in the opportunities presented to me. Alyssa Scolari [15:37]: Let me ask you this. As you're inhabiting that space, when you say like after I talk about this, or after I do this podcast interview I'll be laid out for a day, are there some parts where you truly feel like this is suffering? Because I also can imagine that the loss of a child regardless has to make you feel some type of suffering. Robert Cox [16:04]: I think it's pain. For me suffering is like what happens when I ignore the pain. Alyssa Scolari [16:09]: Okay. Robert Cox [16:11]: I guess if you were to put it in terms of the Buddhist perspective, they would say both of them were suffering but the cycle of suffering doesn't have to continue if you stop trying to avoid the suffering that is inevitable, right? Alyssa Scolari [16:24]: Right. Right. Robert Cox [16:26]: I think that's the way that I kind of keep the division in my mind, is this is pain and I expect it to hurt and I expect it to lay me out for awhile, and by lay me out I mean make me not real happy and chipper for a day or two and I'm going to have to push myself through functioning in certain places for a day or two and giving myself grace in that space, but not numbing that out is so important. Not avoiding it. I don't have to live in it all the time. Robert Cox [16:59]: Over the weekend I went out in my wood shop. Before I knew it I had lost track and it had been three, four hours had gone by. That's my self care space. In that time I was not in the middle of all this grief. Allowing yourself that time, I'm not saying that we should feel pressure to experience that pain all the time, but I'm saying when it comes observe it, understand it's there, and know that you can survive it. Alyssa Scolari [17:26]: Yeah. Robert Cox [17:27]: My sister called a couple days after it had happened when really it was at its peak. Took a couple days to sink in. Initially it's numbness that hits you and you just kind of, I mean there's a lot of pain and crying and upset the first day but then you exhaust yourself and you go into this numb phase. Alyssa Scolari [17:48]: Yeah. Robert Cox [17:49]: Then coming out of that numb phase is really hard and my sister called. She had been incredibly supportive through this for me. She said, "If I could take this pain from you, you know I would." My response to her was, "Even if you could, I wouldn't let you, because this longing that I have for him, this pain that I have, this is what's left of our connection." Alyssa Scolari [18:19]: Yeah. Robert Cox [18:20]: To give that up means I'd begin forgetting him and I'm not going to do that. Alyssa Scolari [18:27]: Right, like the pain that you feel is the reminder of the love. Robert Cox [18:33]: Is the reminder that the connection was real, right? Alyssa Scolari [18:36]: Yes. Robert Cox [18:36]: That it was real. Alyssa Scolari [18:38]: Yes. Robert Cox [18:39]: I remember, one of my favorite poets is Rumi. Alyssa Scolari [18:43]: Oh I love Rumi. Robert Cox [18:44]: If you ever get to read or listen to Rumi, go on YouTube and look up Coleman Barks and he reads Rumi and he's this South Carolina, Southern drawl big bear of a man reading Rumi to this jazz music in the background and it's just this amazing experience. But one of my favorite poems is called Love Dogs and it's about this guy who everyday prays to Allah. Every day he's on his knees praying to Allah and as people pass him by every day on the beach they see him praying to Allah and then one day he stops praying. Rumi talked a lot about the spirit guide Shams and he said Shams comes by and says to this man, "Every day I see you praying and suddenly you're not praying anymore. What's the problem?" The guy, "You know, in response to my prayer all I got was an increased sense of longing." The prophet said to him, "Are you a fool?" He said, "Like a dog whining for his master, that longing is your connection." He said, "There are love dogs in the world no one knows the names of. Give your life to be one of them." Alyssa Scolari [20:00]: Wow. Robert Cox [20:01]: That has always spoken to me about the pain of loss and the fact that you don't want to go away from it. That longing is the connection. That's what's left. Alyssa Scolari [20:12]: Right, and almost I would imagine, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that you don't want the pain to completely go away because the thought of not being in pain just also must be kind of like an intolerable thought. Robert Cox [20:28]: I don't seek it out. Again, it's not like I'm a masochist. Alyssa Scolari [20:34]: Right. Right, right. Robert Cox [20:35]: But I do understand that if I think about him and there's not a little hurt, then I've lost some of that connection also. Alyssa Scolari [20:42]: Yeah. Robert Cox [20:44]: I don't want it to hurt the way it has in the past six weeks the rest of my life. I'm hoping that will subside. But I would like to be able to remember him. I would like to be able to sit and have a picture of him pop up on Facebook and not have it hit me in the gut so hard at some point. Alyssa Scolari [21:02]: Right, in a way that it just knocks you off your feet. Robert Cox [21:06]: Yeah, absolutely. Alyssa Scolari [21:08]: Now I want to ask you about the stages of grief. I know Kubler-Ross is, for the listeners out there, she developed the five stages of grief and then she worked with David Kessler to add the sixth stage of grief. Robert Cox [21:28]: Right. Alyssa Scolari [21:29]: Could you talk for a little bit about the five stages of grief and just the way in which they're so not linear? Robert Cox [21:39]: Well and you know the thing is that they really, so like back in the '70s or '80s two individuals were looking at smoking cessation and stopping that addiction and they came up with the six stages of change and if you look at the six stages of change and you look at the stages of grief, there are a lot of similarities there. Alyssa Scolari [22:02]: You know what, you are right. You are right because isn't the first stage like, the first stage I think is almost denial that you need to change, right? Robert Cox [22:12]: It's called pre-contemplation. Alyssa Scolari [22:14]: Yep. Robert Cox [22:14]: It's about denial. It's about I don't have a problem. Everybody says I have a problem. Alyssa Scolari [22:19]: Yeah. Robert Cox [22:20]: Then there's contemplation. That's like okay, maybe I do have a problem. I need to weigh the pros and cons. Then there's like, we've got a whole two episodes the past couple weeks on the six stages. Actually it was a three episode series on the six stages of grief, but they really mirror that and especially in the fact that it is non-linear. That unfortunately relapse can be a part of that cycle and then you're stuck with oh, I got to kind of get back on track here, and we're back to pre-contemplation. Oh, is this a problem that I used? Oh it probably is. Okay, what do I do? Robert Cox [22:59]: Then preparation is the next step and then action and then, and so they're not exactly the same but the reason they are so closely related is that grief comes from change. Alyssa Scolari [23:13]: Yeah. Any kind of change. Robert Cox [23:17]: When we grieve we are facing a change. That's grief of anything, we are facing a change. We had to adapt our life to the new normal. That is exactly why they fall in that pattern I think. Understanding the non-linearity of those things, like anger and denial, denial pretty much when you're facing the death of a kid, is not a thing anymore. What I have to face is, the denial that I face is often like oh well, I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm fine. Right? Alyssa Scolari [23:53]: Right, it's more denial of how much pain you're in. Robert Cox [23:56]: Denial I'm not big on, and part of that was my own recovery from addiction and understanding that denying shit is not going to make it any better and that I just have to walk into that space. Alyssa Scolari [24:09]: Yes. Robert Cox [24:11]: The understanding that I can go from acceptance to then being pissed off, to then denying that I'm really mad at him, and I can go back and forth. Bargaining, it's like in these situations of death there's really no bargaining to be done. What's done is done, right? Unless I think take this pain away from me and I'll follow you forever kind of thing, which is not going to do any good anyway. Alyssa Scolari [24:38]: Right. Robert Cox [24:40]: Bargaining is something that happens more in the addiction recovery kind of phase. Pull me out of this hell and I will become a priest. That kind of thing. Alyssa Scolari [24:51]: Right. Exactly. Robert Cox [24:54]: The stages change. They change not only based on where you're at in the process but on what that process looks like for you. You may not experience all of the stages. Alyssa Scolari [25:06]: Right, you might only experience a few and they could change not even just day to day but sometimes hour to hour, minute to minute I'm sure. Robert Cox [25:17]: Yep. Been there. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [25:19]: Just sounds like you have been so much, right, it's like okay, with the death of a kid, denial, not really there. Bargaining, who am I bargaining with? Not really viable. Robert Cox [25:29]: Right. Alyssa Scolari [25:29]: You have spent a lot of your time maybe going back and forth between acceptance and just anger. Robert Cox [25:40]: Yeah, that's true. I think there's been some, I don't know, there's been some denial on my part but I've tried to stay out of that space. A lot of staying out of that space has been me repeating to myself, "I need to be present for my wife and my daughter." But there is denial at times in that you see an ad or TV for a show coming out and you're like, "Oh, Tristn would really like that," and then it hits you like, shit, Tristn's not here anymore. Alyssa Scolari [26:09]: Like a ton of bricks. Robert Cox [26:11]: Yeah. That's kind of what happened when I sat down and filled those memorial things with ashes for my wife and daughter, was that it took me out of that temporary I can forget about it denial space and put me right back in. I remember mumbling to myself, "This is all that's left of my son," and made it very, very real again. Alyssa Scolari [26:33]: Yeah. Robert Cox [26:34]: That's a quick way to get out of it, for sure. I think it's important though that people learn to grieve as a family and grieve together. Honestly I don't think my family's been doing that very well. Alyssa Scolari [26:48]: Yeah, how is your family? Robert Cox [26:50]: Everybody's responding out of their own pain. I don't want to talk too much about what their process is because I don't want to step on their rights to grieve without me sharing that with the world, but I can say that pretty much any time a family member dies of something like this everyone in the family says, "How was I responsible for part of this?" Alyssa Scolari [27:16]: Yeah. Robert Cox [27:19]: One of the first things I did was set them down and say, "You are not responsible for this. He made his own decision to do this." Some of that sinks in and some of it doesn't, but the thing I have to be careful of is having an agenda with their healing process. In other words, I am going to swoop in and help you heal from this so you don't have to hurt. Uh uh. I can't take the pain from them anymore than my sister could've taken it from me. If I do, I'm robbing them in the same way of that healing experience that they will be able to find on their own in their own time. Alyssa Scolari [28:00]: Exactly. I imagine it even requires more restraint to do so as a therapist because you probably do have that urge to kind of swoop in. Robert Cox [28:10]: Well as a father I have that urge. As a therapist I know that I should not be therapizing my family because there's too much emotional crap in me connected to them. My daughter has wounded spaces from me and I can't separate that from what we're talking about. I have to be able to inhabit that space. You see what I'm saying? Alyssa Scolari [28:38]: Yes. Robert Cox [28:39]: If I go into therapy space with her, there is the great danger that I am minimizing what she has experienced. Look, I am broken too. I didn't do fatherhood perfectly. Absolutely not. Nobody does. Alyssa Scolari [28:52]: Right, who does? Robert Cox [28:54]: Yeah, if anybody out there has I'd like to have them on my podcast if for no other reason than to call them a liar. Alyssa Scolari [28:59]: I was just going to say, we would like to have them on the show to tell me that they are liars. Robert Cox [29:05]: Right. There's this great Christian author out there named John Ortberg and he talks about the perfect church, the idea of a perfect church. He said, "Even if I knew of a perfect church, I would never go there because I would just screw it up." Because there's no such thing as a perfect human being. Alyssa Scolari [29:21]: Exactly. Robert Cox [29:22]: We're all broken, but the wonderful thing is, the wonderful thing is that in that brokenness, in the things that I do wrong, and I know this from being a therapist, I can move in for repair and make that relationship stronger. Alyssa Scolari [29:38]: Yeah. Robert Cox [29:39]: That is the important thing to realize. I can't do that if I avoid the pain of that space. A really good quick example here is that a lot of years ago my daughter and my son got together and they were both in their teen years and they were pretty tight at times and they decided to do some stupid shit together. Then they lied to me about it. When I found out about it I lost it. Yelling, hollering, grounding for life, slamming the door, being angry, and none of that is any good. None of that does anything for two kids that experienced very real physical trauma when they were younger and their brains are still reacting that way. That didn't help them. Robert Cox [30:27]: When I calmed down later, about three hours later, I set them down and I said, "That was ugly. I really don't like who I was in that space. I got that way because I don't like feeling hurt and I was hurt by the fact that you lied to me and I don't like being scared and what you did scared the hell out of me and instead of feeling those things I decided I would just rage and be angry." I said, "That was not cool. That guy won't be back." Then I worked to make changes in that space so I didn't ever do that again. Robert Cox [31:03]: The benefit of that is later that night my daughter comes in, crawls in bed with me and my wife and says, "I need snuggle time with you, Dad." That doesn't happen if I don't make repair. Alyssa Scolari [31:18]: Exactly. Exactly. That is such a pivotal moment for them. Robert Cox [31:23]: Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [31:24]: And for you. Robert Cox [31:25]: Well not just that but what I'm showing them in that space is that you don't have to be perfect. You just need to be accountable. Alyssa Scolari [31:37]: Yeah, you just have to own it. You don't have to be perfect, you do have to own it and be accountable. Robert Cox [31:44]: I had a client one time who told me, and it was a brilliant thing he said, he said, "Nothing my father did to me was ever my fault but it has all become my responsibility." I think that's brilliant. Alyssa Scolari [31:58]: Yes. Robert Cox [31:58]: It's his responsibility not to pass that brokenness on. It's his responsibility to sit with the pain that it brings and deal with that. Alyssa Scolari [32:07]: Yes. I think it's so powerful and it's an unfortunate statement but it's a statement that packs a punch, which is just this idea that what happened to us is not our fault. The hurt that we endured is not our fault but the healing is our responsibility. Robert Cox [32:24]: Absolutely, because if I don't take that responsibility then I numb out to avoid it and if I numb out I create suffering in the lives of people around me. I repeat those broken spaces with my children. I repeat the same kind of damage over because I haven't learned from it. Alyssa Scolari [32:44]: Yeah. Yeah. Robert Cox [32:47]: That's the responsibility part. Now I remember my son, when he was first driving and he had a car, we had given him one of our old cars for graduation kind of thing, and he hit a raccoon so hard he took the radiator out. Alyssa Scolari [33:04]: Oh man. Robert Cox [33:05]: You got to be going pretty fast to do that. Alyssa Scolari [33:08]: Yeah. Oh yeah. Robert Cox [33:09]: His thing was I don't have the $300 to repair the radiator and part of being boundaried is saying, "I'm sorry about that," and I'm kind of a smart alec so I said, "You're right. It's not your fault that you hit the raccoon and it's not my fault that you hit the raccoon but if you can get the raccoon to pay for it, I would encourage you to do that. Otherwise your car is your responsibility." Alyssa Scolari [33:34]: Yeah. Robert Cox [33:36]: That's kind of where it's at. Sometimes things aren't my fault. Sometimes they're nobody's fault. But it becomes my responsibility to cope with what they're doing in my life. Alyssa Scolari [33:46]: Exactly. Exactly. Now I certainly don't want to leave out this other part of grief and this other stage of grief that you're in, which is finding meaning. Robert Cox [34:01]: Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [34:03]: Can you talk a little bit about was it after Tristn's death that you decided okay, this is what I'm doing. Robert Cox [34:12]: I had been moving towards a nonprofit structure for a long time, but honestly I had a lot of fear around doing that because I feel like I'm called to this field for specific reasons and I didn't want to turn anything over to a board who could tell me that well, we're not going to go that way, when I felt the calling to go that direction. You know what I mean? Alyssa Scolari [34:35]: Yeah. Robert Cox [34:35]: When this happened it just removed all those excuses for me. Then we had already picked out a name and started the paperwork for the nonprofit but I changed the name within just a few days. I thought this is how I'm going to honor him. This is how I'm going to make meaning out of it. He didn't get the chance to make a life that was impactful and so I'm going to give him that opportunity. Alyssa Scolari [34:57]: Yeah. Robert Cox [34:58]: That was how I made meaning. Alyssa Scolari [35:04]: This is how you make meaning and it's not, and I just want to point out, meaning doesn't mean you don't feel pain. Robert Cox [35:11]: No. Alyssa Scolari [35:11]: It doesn't mean ... It just means that you are taking the pain and transforming it and doing something with it. Robert Cox [35:20]: Right. It gives me a place to channel that energy into. Look, the worst part of trauma, you listen to Bessel Van Der Kolk or anybody else, the worst part of trauma is the energy that gets trapped in the body. Alyssa Scolari [35:32]: Yeah. Robert Cox [35:34]: Grief is traumatizing. Alyssa Scolari [35:36]: It is. Robert Cox [35:37]: Making meaning out of grief with something like this is a way of externalizing that energy so it doesn't get trapped in my body. Alyssa Scolari [35:46]: Yes. It allows for movement so that it does not stay stuck in whatever form. Sometimes it's stuck in the form of catatonia, can't get out of bed. Sometimes it's stuck in the form of rage and being able to take your pain and find some kind of meaning in it and start this foundation, this nonprofit, is your way of effectively channeling all of those feelings. It keeps life moving for you, but it also maintains the connection that you have with your son. Robert Cox [36:21]: Yeah. Yeah. That's what I find. It helps me follow through. I mean he had a heart for helping people and had talked before about doing firefighter training and paramedic training and I'm like, "Dude, you'd be great at that. Your pulse doesn't go up in emergency situations so you'd be fantastic at that." Alyssa Scolari [36:42]: He'd be great at it, yeah. Robert Cox [36:43]: Yeah, and so he never got that chance so this is my way of kind of making that happen. Alyssa Scolari [36:50]: Right, he didn't get the chance but you have the chance. Robert Cox [36:53]: Right. Alyssa Scolari [36:55]: What do you see for this foundation? Ultimately the goal is to turn this into a nonprofit where you can help people with addiction? Robert Cox [37:08]: Yeah. What eventually I would like to do is apply for grants and take donations and get all the money we can. It's a nonprofit. Our salaries are set. It's not going to go into that. I take as little salary as I think I can get by on, and the rest of the money then, once we've paid the overhead, goes straight into helping people with recovery by providing free workshops, or let's say we had a hefty amount in our account that we could use for this, we might have someone who's been hardcore IV heroin addict for 10 years come to us and say, "I really need to quit," maybe we could pay for their longterm six month intensive inpatient program. Alyssa Scolari [37:48]: Yeah. Yeah. Robert Cox [37:51]: This is the idea, and it's not just addictions, it's also trauma. I've had this vision ever since I started my Master's program of being able to create a holistic center that would be a campus that would treat trauma. I would love to have the money to buy, and this is my dream down the line, I would love to have the money to be able to buy 30 or 40 acres down in the Ozarks Woods and set up a campus where we have one dorm for people with development disabilities and one dorm for people with trauma and one dorm for people recovering from addictions and make this whole community where we have psychiatrists on staff, nurse practitioners on staff, medical staff available, we have massage therapists, yoga teachers, all these things that we know work for trauma, to really begin this holistic kind of program of healing. That has always been my dream. This is the first time I've been able to release the fear involved in what if it doesn't work and just say, "You know what? F it. It can't get any worse than this." Alyssa Scolari [38:54]: Right. Like what do I have to lose at this point? I'm going for it. Robert Cox [38:58]: Absolutely. It does not get any worse than this. Alyssa Scolari [39:02]: Yeah. Robert Cox [39:03]: I'm going to for it. Alyssa Scolari [39:05]: Yeah. That is, just to make sure that I have it correct, right now it's a GoFundMe and it's the Tristn Jevon, or Jevan? Robert Cox [39:17]: Yeah, Tristn Jevon Recovery Foundation is what it's called on GoFundMe. I decided not to leave it a foundation because of some of the legal limitations in where you could use money and how that foundation would have to be used for not just ... So I just decided to make it the Center for Recovery instead. Alyssa Scolari [39:36]: Okay. Robert Cox [39:37]: Turned out the word foundation meant there were certain things we could do and certain things we couldn't do and I just don't want those limitations up front. Those might end up being self imposed limitations but we really have to get off the ground and build this thing first. Alyssa Scolari [39:51]: Exactly. Exactly. I don't know, the whole idea is amazing. In building it it's like as you're talking about it I'm just like, ooh. I feel like I want to go there. Robert Cox [40:01]: Yeah. Yeah. Alyssa Scolari [40:03]: As a trauma survivor it's just, that holistic healing is so helpful. Robert Cox [40:08]: Yeah I think the reason I wanted to build in the Ozarks Woods was because that was my healing place. Alyssa Scolari [40:12]: Oh. Robert Cox [40:14]: I grew up down there. I was always safest when I was out in the woods. Alyssa Scolari [40:18]: Yep. Robert Cox [40:19]: From the minute I was able to drive I was not in my home. I was gone. If I wasn't working somewhere I was swimming in the river from literally sun up to sun down. That was my healing space. That's why I see that as such, I see nature as such a great healing space. Alyssa Scolari [40:41]: It truly is and now you have the opportunity to potentially allow it to be a healing space for so many others. Robert Cox [40:49]: Yeah. That is the hope. Alyssa Scolari [40:50]: That is the hope. Robert Cox [40:52]: But you know the thing is, part of the serenity prayer is I have to let go of things I can't control. Alyssa Scolari [40:59]: Easier said than done. Man. Robert Cox [41:02]: Do the footwork and hope for the best. Recovery at its foundation is a bicycle built for two. My job is to sit in the back seat and pedal like hell and let my higher power steer. Alyssa Scolari [41:15]: Yeah. That's a tough one. That is a tough one. Robert Cox [41:18]: Yep. Alyssa Scolari [41:21]: I just want to thank you for your vulnerability and- Robert Cox [41:23]: I really appreciate you having me on, Alyssa. It was a good interview. Alyssa Scolari [41:27]: I can't thank you enough for coming on. I know how difficult this is and I feel like with every word that you speak, I am hoping and praying you are reaching more people and touching more people and- Robert Cox [41:44]: That would absolutely be what I'm hoping for. That's how we make meaning. Alyssa Scolari [41:50]: It's how we make meaning and I will be sure to link the GoFundMe in the show notes and as well as the link to the Mindful Recovery podcast. If the listeners out there, if you have not heard of this podcast please go check it out. It's a really good podcast. It had me very much in my feelings and was very, very introspective and it's phenomenal work that you're doing. Robert Cox [42:22]: I'm glad to hear it put you there. I'm shooting for the feels. Alyssa Scolari [42:24]: It really put me in my feels. My husband went out to walk the dogs and I was listening and he came in and I was sitting on the couch and tears are just pouring from my eyes and he was like, "What's the matter?" I was like, "This podcast is so good." Robert Cox [42:41]: Good, I'm glad to hear that. Alyssa Scolari [42:43]: Thank you for all you do and I am- Robert Cox [42:45]: Thank you for having me on. Alyssa Scolari [42:50]: Holding you in the light. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate you. Robert Cox [42:56]: I appreciate the support. Alyssa Scolari [42:59]: Thanks for listening everyone. For more information, please head over to LightAfterTrauma.com or you can also follow us on social media. On Instagram we are @LightAfterTrauma and on Twitter it is @LightAfterPod. If you're on Facebook, please be sure to join our Facebook group. It is a private community where trauma survivors are able to connect and chat with one another. That Facebook group is called Light After Trauma, so just look us up on Facebook and be sure to join. Alyssa Scolari [43:30]: Lastly, please head over to Patreon.com/LightAfterTrauma to support our show. We are asking for $5 a month which is the equivalent to a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Please head on over, again that Patreon.com/LightAfterTrauma. Thank you and we appreciate your support. Alyssa Scolari [43:54]: [Music 00:43:54]

Alyssa steps away from interviews this week for a solo episode in which she shares some exciting announcements about the podcast. www.lightaftertrauma.com Support the Podcast by becoming a patron.   Transcript: Alyssa Scolari: Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Light After Trauma podcast. A podcast by trauma survivors for trauma survivors. I'm your host, Alyssa Scolari and. Today we are having a little bit different of an episode. So there's just some housekeeping that I wanted to keep everybody up to date on. [00:01:09] We have some really exciting changes happening on the Light After Trauma podcast. So I wanted to make you all aware in an episode. We are skipping this week for an interview. We've got lots of great content lined up. But just wanted to take the time to share with you all the awesome things that we have that are launching as of today. [00:01:33] So before we get into some of the major changes that are happening, I just want to backtrack a little bit and go back to really the beginning of quarantine. And, you know, I know I've said this on the podcast before, but it's definitely worth repeating. I started this podcast. I've always wanted to start a podcast, but things have gotten in my way, like being in jobs that I was chronically unhappy and planning a wedding, buying a house. [00:02:03] And then I was trying to get my private practice off the ground. And when quarantine hit and we were stuck at home, I really seize the opportunity. And I probably started in April and that was just all the back work. So from April, I worked diligently on this podcast to be able to launch it in late August of 2020. [00:02:29] And again, I know I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again. This really was just a hobby for me, a way to spread awareness. And I definitely thought, okay. If I reach five people, if I help five people or even one person fantastic. For me, I continue to be blown away by how many people are being affected and are resonating with this podcast. [00:03:02] It's become so much more than just a podcast. It has become a huge part of my life. Something that I care about just as much as I care about my private practice, it has become a place of healing for me, a place of connection with other trauma survivors, and it's become a source of healing and connection for so many of you out there. [00:03:27] I have made so many quality friendships. As a result of this podcast, I have met so many incredible survivors as a result of this podcast. And I have healed so much as a result of this podcast. One of the things that I had no idea was going to happen when I started this podcast in August, is that, you know, I was going to go through something extremely traumatic only weeks after I started the podcast. [00:03:59] I really haven't spoken much about it and I'm not going to get into it today because that's not the point, but the timing really is uncanny that when I needed this podcast the most, it was there for me and people from all over the world have reached out to me and have said the same type of sentiment that this podcast is there for them. [00:04:27] And over the last seven to eight months, I can truly say that this podcast went from a hobby to a movement, a movement to take the shame away from what trauma survivors experience, a movement to educate family members and friends, and even just the general public on all the different aspects of trauma, a movement to educate people on what types of treatment is out there, to talk about all of the things that are so tough to talk about in the field of trauma, when it comes to our own recovery, the battles, the victories, all of it. It's become a movement. We are taking the shame away. We are acknowledging what we've experienced. We are calling it what it is. And there's so much empowerment in that. You know, there was one defining moment for me back in early February, or maybe mid February, where after taking a week of vacation from my private practice, I went back into my office and I had a letter from somebody who lives in Canada. And for those of you who know, I live in the United States, I'm in New Jersey and this letter came with this magnet that says "sing after every storm." [00:05:54] And the letter itself was just so beautiful, the artwork and the message of appreciation for the work that I am doing from somebody who would have never known me if it weren't for this podcast. And that was one of those humbling and defining moments where I realized that what I'm doing and what we're all doing here is so much more than just a hobby. [00:06:20] It's a movement. So I think at that point, David and I, and again, for those of you who don't know, David is my husband and he's also our tech guy. So David does all of the backend work for this podcast. He does all of the editing. He does really anything and everything that has to do with technology because I am not technologically savvy in the slightest. [00:06:44] So that requires a lot of work. And David and I really hit the ground running over the last two months and we built a website from scratch that is just for the podcast. And when I say website, It's really not just a website, it's a platform for all things Light After Trauma related. So this website, which is www.lightaftertrauma.com, houses everything that you need. [00:07:18] It has all of the episodes. It has all of the blog posts. It has a link where you can subscribe. It has an application for you to be a guest on the podcast. So if you are somebody who thinks that you would make a good fit to be on the podcast, you can go right on the website and apply. [00:07:36] It also has an entire section for the Survived and Thrived Stories. So let's talk about that for a minute, because that is a new segment of the podcast that I've talked about here and there, but I just want to talk about again. So we have a launch date, May 14th. We are going to be launching the other segment of the podcast, which is a series of minisodes and it's called Survived and Thrived Stories. [00:08:07] Now, this part of the podcast is a result of how many people reached out to me after hearing the podcast and would say things like, you know, I wish I had the courage to speak about what happened to me, but I just don't, I'm not there right now, or people who have messaged me and have shared parts of their stories, but wished to remain anonymous. [00:08:33] And it got me thinking, you know, I want to create space for people who want to be able to share parts of their story or all of their story, but don't necessarily want to be identified. And this part of the podcast resonates with me and it's so special to me because when I first started sharing my story, it wasn't through speaking. [00:08:58] It was through writing. In fact, what I did is I wrote in anonymously to a podcast. My favorite murder by the lovely Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff. If you are a true crime lover as an aside, and you haven't listened to this podcast, please go listen to it. It's like at the top of the charts in true crime and comedy, and it is the best show, but they were asking for hometown stories and one of my traumas is, you know, I'm a victim of a crime. [00:09:30] So I wrote in sharing my story to them and between that, and then having so many people reach out to me and share parts of their stories. That is where the inspiration came to add this segment, Survived and Thrived Stories. So with that, I've already had a lot of people reach out to me to ask questions. [00:09:48] Like how long can it be? What do I need to talk about what needs to be in there? And here's my response to all of that, which is make it whatever you want it to be. Send an email to lightaftertrauma@gmail.com. And you can sign the email with your initial, with your first name, with no name, with a nickname, whatever you want, and you can share as much or as little of your story as you want. [00:10:14] There is also a spot where you can do this on the website. Again, that's lightaftertrauma.com. But as I said, this is about you sharing parts of your personal journey. So whether you want to talk about how you are in recovery from PTSD, how you were just diagnosed with PTSD, a small victory in your day, whatever it may be, and again, however much, or however little. Please write in and please tell us whatever's on your heart. What will happen is each week we will put out a mini episode. It will probably be about 10 to 15 minutes long where I read these emails and I will, of course respond and give feedback in the best way that I can to whatever it is that you write in about. [00:11:05] So that is the gist of the segment on Survived and Thrived Stories. Please write in, we look forward to hearing from you. And now to transition, I want to talk a little bit more about the website. So there's also a place on the website where you can support the podcast. So what do I mean by that? When you click any of the support the movement or support the podcast buttons on the website, it's going to take you directly to the Patreon. [00:11:35] As you can tell David and I put a ton of time and effort in set this podcast. It has basically become a full-time job and it's really a lot of hard work. And it's also very expensive between the editing software and the podcast software and the scheduling software. And then the time that it takes for David to edit all of the podcasts and to work on the website and to be able to land interviews and conduct those interviews and come up with important questions, it's just... [00:12:13] there's a lot of time effort and a lot of money that goes into it. And I love it. I am not complaining one single bit. However, with that being said, it would be really nice to be able to cut down a little bit on my private practice so that I could spend even more time and give even more attention to the podcast in the form of, you know, bonus content, merchandise, Q&A sessions, live Facebook events and other things like that, that I think would be really, really helpful and intriguing for everybody. [00:12:53] So with that, I humbly and kindly ask for a $5 monthly donation via Patreon. That's really the equivalent to one drink at Starbucks, but ultimately, any amount that you can give would be greatly appreciated and would continue to help David and myself to keep putting out great high quality content for all of you. [00:13:21] So again, head on over to lightaftertrauma.com, there's a few different sections on the website. One that I can think of as right at the top, where it says support the movement. You can click on there and then you can donate. So thank you so very much in advance. And lastly, I want to get into a few changes on social media. [00:13:44] So we have changed the name of our Instagram and the Twitter handle. So Twitter is @lightafterpod. There's no underscores. There's no periods. There's no spaces. It's just light after pod. And then the Instagram is @lightaftertrauma. Again, no underscores, no spaces. Just lightaftertrauma on Instagram. [00:14:12] And as a reminder, please be sure to look us up. It's the Lighy After Trauma group on Facebook it is a private Facebook group, we have over 60 members and it's a really awesome group for trauma survivors to be able to connect. So if you are on Facebook, don't forget to look us up and join it is Light After Trauma. [00:14:34] So, all right. That is a lot that I threw at you. It's a lot of really exciting things that are happening, could not do any of this without your support. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And lastly, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge that April is national sexual assault awareness month, and really the one and only thing that I would like to say to that is, is believe survivors. [00:15:06] So I will end with that. Everybody have a fantastic week. Next week, we have an interview with Robert Cox, from the Mindful Recovery podcast. He will be speaking about the loss of his son. It's a really fantastic interview, very, very sad, but also incredibly inspirational. So you have that to look forward to and have a great week, much love. [00:15:32] Thanks for listening everyone. For more information, please head over to lightaftertrauma.com or you can also follow us on social media. On Instagram. We are @lightaftertrauma and on Twitter, it is @lightafterpod. And if you're on Facebook, please be sure to join our Facebook group. It is a private community where trauma survivors are able to connect and chat with one another. [00:15:58] That Facebook group is called Light After Trauma. So just look us up on Facebook and be sure to join. Lastly, please head over to patreon.com/lightaftertrauma to support our show, we are asking for $5 a month, which is the equivalent to a cup of coffee at Starbucks. So please head on over again. That's patreon.com/lightaftertrauma. [00:16:22] Thank you and we appreciate your support.

This week Mason Lumpkins returns to discuss the final 3 stages of change.  What does it mean to be ready to take action?  Once I am in the action stage of recovery how do I stay there and prevent lapse or relapse?  What is the difference between lapse and relapse?  Is relapse inevitable and how do I get back?  All of this and more on this week's episode of Mindful Recovery.

“Don’t talk. Don’t trust. Don’t feel.” Rules that were taught early and often to my guest in this week’s episode. In this special interview, I connect with friend and colleague, John Evans, peer support specialist, musician, and Army Veteran. Looking inward and breaking the patterns of suffering was a path John fully committed to in July of 2007. John experienced many adverse events in his childhood, including the loss of his mother, and addiction in his family. After joining the Army in high school, John worked diligently to reintegrate back into civilian life when he returned home from two tours in Iraq as a medic. Thirteen years into his recovery, John intimately shares how his best days have come since committing to sobriety and working on his trauma. John explains, “Recovery means fearlessly attempting to unlock my potential, and being willing to reach for the life that my trauma would say, ‘don’t do that.’” An introduction to John – 3:09 What’s a hero? – 5:03 Quoting the book, “A Year to Live” by Steven Levine – 15:29 Recognizing resistance – 18:38 The pain of losing a parent – 22:46 Experience as a combat medic – 34:05 Impermanence and healing – 38:07 Waking up to thought forms during deployment – 42:10 Identity formation w/ trauma – 44:41 Victim role and attachment to pain – 48:00 Every day is a gift – 57:25 Trauma comparison – 1:01:21 Accepting wounds leads to empowerment – 1:07:45 What does recovery mean? – 1:11:20 Life after substance, 13 years into recovery – 1:15:02 Cultivating gratitude – 1:23:50 Adhering to a spiritual practice – 1:29:12   Looking to further your mindfulness practice? Check out the Mental Events mindfulness journal. It’s dedicated to examining the workability of the mind’s proposed solutions to problems, and offers an opportunity to step back from giving over your life to negative thoughts. . Wanting to integrate mindfulness into your life? Sign up to receive my six-day At Ease: Mobilizing Mindfulness mini-course for FREE . Watch this video to learn more about Mental Events Therapy. Watch this video to learn more about the benefits of online therapy with Mental Events. . As always, we’d like to hear from you. Send your questions via email - hello@mentalevents.com. Connect with Mental Events on social media and share your comments about the show on Instagram @mentalevents, and on Facebook @mentaleventstherapy.

On episode 31 I finally track down Joe Holder aka Ocho System, founder of Exercise Snacks, Systems of Service, Nike Master Trainer, consultant and overall impressive human being. We dive into his recent exploration of 'Intergenerational Health' and how health needs to be incorporated and democratized across all communities through movement, nutrition and education. Joe shares his experience of overcoming injury through mindfulness and with the support of his father. He also shares his commitment to mental health through therapy, which has become more of his focus during Covid, rather than his body, and how that in turn has created a healthier body by tending to the mind. Among other topics, Joe shares some influential books, resources and his overall ethos for living, learning and giving back. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/into-the-well/support

Jen Davis walks us through the simple yet profound practice of Mindful Self-Compassion. Borrowing from her intensive work Kristin Neff and Chris Germer, Jen describes the personal and professional impact of self-compassion on her life. She also offers listeners user-friendly tools to help beginners get started.  

Annette Newman, a student of Lama Yeshe Jinpa, discusses a Buddhist program for recovery from addictions.

On this episode of NCRAW we visited Statesville, NC for the Mindful Recovery and Wellness Symposium hosted by Enlighten Recovery. We sat down with Amy Dresner, Jarmichael Harris, and Cole Spooner to discuss the impact of social media and podcasts as a tool for recovery and wellness.  

Can mindfulness prevent people with opioid use disorder from relapsing while in recovery? Our guests, Dr. Keith Zullig, Professor Laura Lander, and Meghan Tuscano, are exploring that possibility with an innovative study at West Virginia University. Take a centering breath and listen to the OOMPH! team as they explore the link between mindfulness and recovery. #wemakeinjurycool #askWVUICRC This episodes ICRC crew: Dr. Robert Bossarte (Director, WVU ICRC) and Dr. Dan Shook (Director of Mountain Safe - outreach arm of the WVU ICRC) Transcript Available: https://publichealth-editor.hsc.wvu.edu/media/5549/mindfulness-based-relapse-prevention-podcast-transcript.pdf

Welcome to episode 138 of the Therapy Chat Podcast with host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C. This week, we speak with Rebecca E. Williams, PhD and Julie S. Kraft, MA, LMFT, about their new book The Gift of Recovery: Mindfulness Skills for Living Joyfully Beyond Addiction. Rebecca E. Williams, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in recovery from mental illness and addictions. She received her master's degree from Harvard University and her PhD from the University of California, Santa Barbara. She is currently the Wellness and Vocational Enrichment Clinic director of the Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System. In addition, she is an associate clinical professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, an adjunct faculty member at the University of San Diego, and coauthor of Couple Therapy for Alcoholism. Williams is coauthor, with Julie Kraft, of The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction. She has a psychotherapy practice in San Diego, CA. Julie S. Kraft, MA, LMFT, received her master's degree in marriage and family therapy from the University of San Diego's school of leadership and education sciences. She has provided counseling to veterans and their family members at the Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System and has provided psychotherapy to individuals, couples, families, and groups in community settings. In her current position with Sharp HealthCare, she treats clients struggling with both addiction and mental health concerns. She lives and works in San Diego, CA. Resources: Find everything Rebecca & Julie are doing here: www.mindfulnessworkbook.com Julie wanted you to see this video related to her comments about addiction being one bright spot that can be tough to let go of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkZXEf304ss&app=desktop The Suicide Prevention Hotline # is US: 800-273-8355 Please consider supporting Therapy Chat by becoming a member on Patreon! Just $1 a month would make a huge impact to keep Therapy Chat going strong! To learn more: https://patreon.com/TherapyChat - members get special perks and swag too! Register here for the upcoming Authentic Self Equine/Daring Way™ Retreat: https://www.laurareaganlcswc.com/retreat/ Leave me a message via Speakpipe by going to https://therapychatpodcast.com and clicking on the green Speakpipe button. Thank you for listening to Therapy Chat! Please be sure to go to iTunes and leave a rating and review, subscribe and download episodes. You can also download the Therapy Chat app on iTunes by clicking here.

Welcome to episode 71 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Robert Cox who talks to us about the developing rape culture in our society, how we can combat objectification of men and women and the need for rape victims to know it's ok to reach out and talk about their experiences.   Robert Cox is a therapist in private practice in Liberty, MO.  He specializes in the treatment of Trauma, Addictions and Autism.  Robert creates a podcast providing psycho-education and mindfulness training called Mindful Recovery. In addition, he is a guest blogger on the Huffington Post.      In this episode, you will hear:   What is rape culture and who does it protect?  Roberts experience of defending his daughter for wearing “in appropriate” clothing in school   Why we shouldn't protect anyone who has abused or raped women, even if they are close friends or relatives   Making sure we don't invalidate people's experiences   How men need to take more responsibility for their hormones and actions   How we can combat objectification of men and women   The role that fear and control plays within these issues   The need for rape victims to know it's ok to reach out and talk about their experiences     Resources  http://liferecoveryconsulting.com   https://liferecoveryconsulting.com/listening-to-autism/  https://liferecoveryconsulting.com/podcast-2/  http://oasis2care.com/podcast/hook-up-culture/   http://oasis2care.com/podcast/rape-culture-popular-media/   https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care   

In this episode of AA Beyond Belief the Podcast, I spoke with Serge Prengel, author of The Proactive Twelve Steps for Mindful Recovery. Serge is a therapist and life coach with a practice in New York City who became interested in the 12 Steps as a process for change and growth.

Contained in this Episode 4 of Friday Cry Date, you'll hear our host Kara Viatori interviewing Robert Cox, host of the podcast Mindful Recovery, contributing author on www.huffingtonpost.com, and trauma therapist in the Kansas City area. We hear about Robert's beginnings and inspirations as a therapist, his belief on working with so-believed "untreatable" personality disorders (narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, etc), his work with autistic clients, and a host of other topics. Those other topics discussed include:How the brain protects us by processing scary experiences in our emotional center (amygdala)How the body stores traumaEmotional releases after deep tissue/stretching work Cultural ideas of avoiding pain Beauty in our broken spaces within Cultural stigma around antidepressents How dopamine, SSRIs, drugs and serotonin function You may want to refer to this image of the brain during our discussion of how it functions/processes trauma:    

After over half a year we are back. Working with you to study and learn to overcome trauma. The new format will focus on all aspects of trauma and the power of mindfulness to overcome it and help us regulate through is. We begin the new beginning at the beginning, with an exercise in grounding in our own breath.

In today's episode of Making An Addict, D.J. talks with Robert Cox - therapist and host of Mindful Recovery podcast - about filling our broken places with addictive substances to numb the painful experiences we encounter in life. Robert's heart stopped due to his previous drug use and abuse and he says "It scared me straight." Robert talks about the benefit of being mindful and practicing mindfulness. Robert's podcast, Mindful Recovery provides mindfulness resources to trauma survivors and those in addiction recovery. Learn more about Robert and the services his offers at www.liferecoveryconsulting.com   Making An Addict is hosted by D.J. Burr, psychotherapist, and author of I Just Wanted Love: Recovery of a Codependent, Sex and Love Addict and the host of the podcast Journey On: Men Healing from Sexual Abuse & Assault. www.djburr.com Music Like Music (cdk Mix) by cdk (c) copyright 2015 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike  (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/cdk/48915 Ft: Phasenwandler

In today's episode of Making An Addict, D.J. talks with Robert Cox - therapist and host of Mindful Recovery podcast - about filling our broken places with addictive substances to numb the painful experiences we encounter in life. Robert's heart stopped due to his previous drug use and abuse and he says "It scared me straight." Robert talks about the benefit of being mindful and practicing mindfulness. Robert's podcast, Mindful Recovery provides mindfulness resources to trauma survivors and those in addiction recovery. Learn more about Robert and the services his offers at www.liferecoveryconsulting.com   Making An Addict is hosted by D.J. Burr, psychotherapist, and author of I Just Wanted Love: Recovery of a Codependent, Sex and Love Addict and the host of the podcast Journey On: Men Healing from Sexual Abuse & Assault. www.djburr.com Music Like Music (cdk Mix) by cdk (c) copyright 2015 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike  (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/cdk/48915 Ft: Phasenwandler

Welcome to episode 71 of the Therapy Chat Podcast with host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C. This week’s guest features Robert Cox, NCC. Robert is a therapist in Missouri near Kansas City who specializes in trauma, addictions, and autism. Trauma and addictions almost always go hand in hand. He specializes in walking with his patients through those rough patches. He uses therapy and mindfulness to work towards overcoming the past, repairing damaged relationships and moving into the future with a new ability to set boundaries and hold healthy relationships.  As Robert says in his own words:  “It has occurred to me that some of my future clients might wonder who they are hiring to help them through some very rough patches and trusting to walk with them on some vulnerable journeys.  I understand that because I have been many of the places my clients have been and will go.  I have my own history of addiction.  In 1988 I used for the last time and I have been clean since.  I know what it is to struggle with trauma, anxiety and craving.  I know what it is to feel so raw all the time that all you want is for things to stop hurting and to be willing to do anything to escape that.  I know what it is to feel you have disappointed and hurt everyone around you but not know how to stop.  Those experiences have deepened my ability to help my clients know that I feel what they feel…. that I have known what they know.” In the episode, Robert talks about his background, how trauma & autism are related and how he became involved with mindfulness. Robert also has two podcasts of his own “Listening to Autism” and “Mindful Recovery” which you can check out from the links below. Resources http://liferecoveryconsulting.com http://listeningtoautism.libsyn.com http://liferecoveryconsulting.com/podcast-2 Visit Therapy Chat website at Http://therapychatpodcast.com and send host Laura Reagan a voice message letting her know what you think of Therapy Chat! Did you like this episode? Did you dislike it? Let her know! Thank you for listening to Therapy Chat! Please be sure to go to iTunes and leave a rating and review, subscribe and download episodes.

Sometimes, the best way to see yourself is to see yourself reflected in someone else’s eyes. When you launch a new podcast, sometimes the best way to explain your vision is to have a friend come on air to ask you about it. We invited our friend and colleague Robert Cox to interview us about our mission and our vision for the Practice of Being Seen. Robert is a therapist in the Kansas City area specializing in trauma, addictions and autism. Having been through his own trauma work and addictions, he has spent the past several decades learning to live in the messy and be seen himself while trying to help others do the same. You can hear him on his two podcasts, Mindful Recovery and Listening to Autism. Learn more about Robert’s work: www.liferecoveryconsulting.org To read Robert's post, please visit: https://connectfulness.com/broken-spaces-lessons-healing-relationship/ To learn more about our community for therapists, please visit: www.practiceofbeingseen.com/community-for-therapists 

Episode 42, When a Child is Shamed   In This Episode:   It’s important to understand what shame is and what isn’t Shaming is when someone induces humiliation, embarrassment, and a feeling of guilt, regret, or deep sadness on another person. Shaming is not motivating, although that is a common misconception.  Sometimes people think “if they feel really bad about what they did, then they won’t do it again.” But it doesn’t work like that.  It is in essence a trauma that can cause long term maladaptive behaviors.  Many people that struggle with addiction, relationship issues, and other tough life struggles often have shame in their past.  My friend and podcasting colleague, Robert Cox has a really good podcast episode on this his podcast, Mindful Recovery.   GUILT AND SHAME RIDDING THE SOUL OF TOXICITY  The link http://mindfulrecoverypodcast.libsyn.com/guit-and-shame-ridding-the-soul-of-toxicity Making mistakes is actually a healthy part of child development.  Allowing your child to make and learn from mistakes while the price tags are small is a huge gift to your child.  Life experience is the best teacher.  It’s so much more effective than lectures, put downs, shaming, or “I told you so’s”. Empathy, clear expectations and logical choices are much more effective in helping your child grow into a self-confident, responsible, ambitious individual that enjoys life.  Ongoing culture of shame decreases the quality of life for the entire family. The trauma of shaming can be substantial, but if it’s an ongoing form of discipline, it can be devastating and often unbearable.   Shame undoubtedly damages the parent child relationship.  It simply can’t be unfelt.  I just recently watched THE FAULT IN OUR STARS.  I love that movie! My daughter is a  huge John Green fan.  She’s read all of his books.  In that movie, one of the actors says “PAIN DEMANDS TO BE FELT”.  This is so very true. It can establish a dysfunctional cycle that can lead to generations of pain and dysfunction.  If you tempted to shame your child, check in with what may be going on for you.  Was this something that you experienced as a child?  Is part of your heart hurting or could you use some healing?  I’ve seen great healing occur through therapy as well as work with one’s inner child.  It’s important to realize that blame, whether on self or others, isn’t on the healthy road to healing.  But, rather a focus on “I need to put on my own oxygen mask...” is much healthier for everyone. Shame can cut deep.  Each person is so unique, so everyone has a different experience.  What is common though is that it hurts in a way that words can’t accurately describe.  I really feel like part of the soul withers with shaming.  For people of all ages, it erodes feeling of self-worth and self-esteem.    Ultimately, shame establishes a dysfunctional perception of a healthy relationship.  When children grow up they often, but not always, use their formative childhood years as a blueprint of how life “should”be.  If that “should” is maladaptive, it can be a long, hard road for them filled with heartache and pain.  I’ve noticed that causes people to put up emotional walls to keep themselves safe.  It is ultimately a type of emotional abuse, especially if it is ongoing.   It limits our children’s vulnerability, which limits their options in life with relationships, careers, dreams and so much more. Shame manifests itself in the body.   Shame fragments itself in the body in messy, infiltrating way that can take years of work to heal from. Engrains negative cognitions in the brain such as i am not worthy, i can’t do anything right, i’m a jerk, i’m defective,  i’m a bad person and such “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Really does have some merit.  Fixing the effects of shaming is much more difficult than preventing it. The quote “HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE” is a quote worth considering in this discussion of shaming.  When someone is deeply hurt, they often hurt others from their pain.  Looking at it from a child’s perspective, shaming, whether they are the target or someone that they love and identify with is, they may be tempted to transfer that pain.  Sometimes that can look like depression, anxiety, bully type behavior, aggression and much more.   For parents that default to shaming, give yourself permission to learn a new approach.  Maya Angelou says when people know better, they do better.  This is so true. If you are prone to shaming, it’s important to reflect on what messages you were sent as a child.  Ask yourself, “is this helping or hurting my child?”.   A more effective way is to use empathy to connect with your child. I love the ACT Limit Setting model  (Acknowledge the Feeling, Communicate the Alternative, and  Target the Alternative) that is described in Child Parent Relationship Therapy.  If you haven’t done so yet, be sure to check out episode 22  http://jackieflynnconsulting.com/22-all-about-child-parent-relationship-therapy-with-dalena-dillman-taylor/   There’s so many better ways to discipline than shaming.  I love LOVE and Logic, Child Parent Relationship Therapy, a 10 Session Model, and 123 Magic are some much better options.  I have all of these linked in the show notes.  If you haven’t done so yet, be sure to join us on Facebook in our group Parenting in the Rain Community and like our page Parenting in the Rain Podcast, Hosted by Jackie Flynn   If you’d like to connect with me, I offer consultation and parent coaching support.  Just email me at jackie@jackieflynnconsulting.com or at my private practice at jackie@counselinginbrevard.com   Below Are Some Sites, Affiliate Links to Books/Products That I Love My Parent Coaching Program - https://jackieflynnconsulting.simplero.com/products/52176-Parent-Coaching-Program   Labyrinths 20% off for calming, focus and connectedness.  http://www.relax4life.com/JF.html

In part 2 of my podcasts about sexual assault I interview Laura Reagan, LCSW. Laura specializes in trauma and sexual assault and is a fantastic therapist in the Annapolis area. We talk about blaming the victim and changing attitudes in this episode of Mindful Recovery.

Sexual assault is an issue much in the news lately. We cover what it is, the effects it has and hold accountable those who would excuse it in this episode of Mindful Recovery. This week's episode is a call to listeners to stand against such behavior.

  Welcome to Episode 49 of Therapy Chat! Today’s episode is #8 in the therapist practice building series. Host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C interviews the amazing Melvin Varghese, PhD, who is a psychologist and host of Selling the Couch podcast. Melvin, whose podcast is one of the top 100 business podcasts according to the iTunes rankings, discusses how podcasting can help therapists grown their practices and help them scale their businesses away from simply trading time for money. Melvin shares statistics about how podcasting is growing, and gives concrete examples of the skills most therapists already have that make us naturals at podcasting. He describes specific ways that podcasting can be used to grow a therapist’s business. He shares some of his free resources and invites listeners to check out his Healthcasters course for health, wellness and fitness podcasters, whether their podcasts have already begun or they are just in the ideas phase. He shares the changes podcasting has made to his business and his income. Resources Melvin mentioned in this episode: Jackie Flynn’s Parenting In the Rain podcast: http://jackieflynnconsulting.com/home/parenting-in-the-rain/ Robert Cox’s Mindful Recovery podcast: http://liferecoveryconsulting.com/podcast/ Check out Melvin’s podcast, Selling the Couch: http://sellingthecouch.com/podcast/ Melvin’s free podcasting tutorial: http://sellingthecouch.com/podcastingtutorial - check out the discount on Healthcasters found in this tutorial! Get the info on Melvin’s podcasting course/community, Healthcasters: http://sellingthecouch.com/the-healthcasters/ Canva: http://canva.com As always, you can find Therapy Chat at http://therapychatpodcast.com Please remember to visit iTunes to leave a rating and review, download episodes and subscribe to receive all the latest episodes as soon as they are released!

  Support Helping Services for NE Iowa Domestic Abuse Resource Center to honor my niece Sena's memory and raise awareness of intimate partner violence Register for the 2nd Annual Sena Hanson Memorial Walk/Run/Bike 5k on 10/1/16 or make a donation (every dollar counts) My fundraising page for Helping Services Thank you for your support! Today's guest is licensed therapist, professional speaker and fellow podcaster, Robert Cox. His podcast, Mindful Recovery is an amazing resource for anyone on the journey through recovery from trauma or addictions. Listening to some of his guided meditations on healing have brought tears to my eyes and touched my heart. He is truly passionate about helping people and I know you'll enjoy our interview today! Visit Robert's website for valuable information and to check out his podcast, Mindful Recovery http://liferecoveryconsulting.com/ More on healing our broken spaces http://mindfulrecoverypodcast.libsyn.com/   For the month of September the JOY Factor will be dedicated to the topic of exploring the reality of intimate partner violence, ways to help survivors heal and what communities can do to prevent this epidemic. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 20 people per minute are physically abused by their partner. That adds up to more than 10 million women and men per year. In the United States 3 women are murdered by their current or former male partners every day. On September 8, 2009, my niece Sena became one of them. Those who knew and loved her would all agree that she would be the first one to help someone who was struggling. Sadly we were not able to help her when she needed it the most. As only those who've lost loved ones to violence can understand, the depth of despair is unspeakable and the path to healing is a long hard one. Giving a voice to those who have been lost, as well as those who have survived helps. It is a way to find meaning in something so senseless. Whether you are currently in an abusive relationship or ready to take a stand on behalf of those needing support thank you. I believe everyone deserves to enjoy their life and the more we draw attention to those who suffer silently the more light we can bring to the darkness. This year marks the 2nd annual Sena Hanson Memorial 5k Walk/Run/Bike which will be held on October 1 in Decorah Iowa. This event is a way to represent hope for other victims and inspire courage in us all to stand up against domestic violence All of the proceeds will be used to benefit the Domestic Abuse Resource Center at Helping Services for NE Iowa. These donations will be used to provide advocacy services as well as needed supplies, gas, food, and other necessities client's may have.  If you're in northeast Iowa or nearby please consider taking part in the 5k. If not, will you make a donation in Sena's honor? No amount is too small. Every dollar raised will go directly to helping someone escape a dangerous situation. You can find my fundraising page on thejoyfactorpodcast.com or by finding The JOY Factor on Facebook  

Opiate addictions are the fastest growing segment of addiction even among the elderly.  Too often pain management can lead to relapse and/or to heroin use, which is one of the reasons underlying the increase of heroin use in the U.S.  More and more research is beginning to indicate that physical pain is often related to emotional trauma and stress.  The body holds on to this trauma and stress triggers pain as a way of signaling us that something is wrong.  Research is also indicating that mindfulness can help us to regulate and manage pain in a way that lowers our need for opiates.  We practice an exercise in mindfulness this week 

In this episode of Mindful Recovery, I introduce you to what the general format of the podcast is going to be about.  A podcast dedicated to using mindfulness techniques in our journey of recovery from trauma and addiction as well as the mental health issues that often coincide.  You will be introduced to some of the topics I plan to cover in addition to an introductory mindfulness exercise to help you begin your journey into recovery and abundant living.

On this episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane speaks with Serge Prengel, the author of The Proactive Twelve Steps for Mindful Recovery. They dive deep into the process of change and this concept of the virtuous cycle that creates a positive feedback loop in our lives so we can make the strategic change and create a meaningful life that feels good and is purposeful. Serge is a therapist who's big on experiential or somatic psychotherapy. He believes that everybody is very different and every situation is very different. Serge talks about how you can be proactive in your approach, and over time, gradually step out of feeling stuck and powerless so you can enjoy a balanced and happy life. Serge has had a long-term dialogue with the 12 Steps for the past 30 years, which he discovered through friends who were in recovery. He always admired the power of the 12-step culture, the idea of having a common path, and the community it has created. He admires the system where people can have peer support and they can pull themselves together out of something that would feel like a morass.That being said, Serge also had a problem with the 12 Step's concept of reliance on divine intervention or higher power. However, at the same time, he sees that something is working. This led him to a path of going deeper into the dialogue around the 12-Step to get a better understanding of what works. Then he would be able to translate it so other people can understand it better and be able to follow the path more effectively.In this episode, you will hear:A more generalized concept of healingHis definition of traumaBuilding the tools through practiceThe importance of group workThe inner power instead of the higher powerHow the felt sense experience functions as a guideThe virtuous cycle of trauma healingThe power of the mindful pauseHow the change starts to manifest itselfKey Quotes:[09:55] - “It's impossible to be a human being, without having had some situations and some experiences, which are beyond their capacity to digest at the time.”[11:27] - “In the moment of being confronted with trauma as an individual, you're exactly in the position where you're disempowered, where you are with the least access to your capacities. And so it takes practical tools to actually overcome these kinds of moments.”[12:08] - “We're different people when different parts of the nervous system are in gear. And so, you cannot build the tools when you're activated."[18:24] - “The inner experience of being saved by God is an inner experience that actually can be also experienced by people who don't believe in God, and that's progressively connecting to that sense of higher power.”[24:31] - “Being more connected to ourselves is the healing, and the healing enables us to be more connected to ourselves. This is how we hit that virtuous cycle. And then the vicious cycle is that progressive cycle of disconnection.”[25:34] - "When you're in the midst of trauma, you cannot have access to that simplicity. What feels obvious when you're out of it does not feel obvious when you're in it."[27:17] - "That mindful pause becomes the DNA of the process because it's something that moment by moment helps you orient but is also something that helps you stay and be progressively more able to accept."[32:59] - "Look for kindred spirits who are willing to engage in a process of healing together."Subscribe and ReviewHave you subscribed to our podcast? We'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet. We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.If you really enjoyed this episode, we've created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com  to download it.Supporting Resources:The Proactive Twelve Steps for Mindful RecoveryEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations

Mindfulness. It’s all the rage on the internet, but a lot of people haven’t a clue what it means when they see it. We all have a different image and set of expectations about mindfulness, but what actually is it, and how can it help those on the road to recovery? Is it just a fad, or will adopting a mindfulness practice really make a difference in the way we think? Robert Cox is a Mindfulness Master, and he has experience and success stories to share with the “Addicted Mind” community this week. Robert is also the host of two podcasts, so he knows a thing or two about making something “heady” like Mindfulness easy to digest. Robert shares the evidence scientists have gathered for the brain transforming power of mindfulness, and then teaches you a few tricks to try it out on your own. * Robert defines Mindfulness based off of research. * The subtle difference between mindfulness and meditation. * Using mindfulness to build resistance to cravings. * The current mindfulness research for treatment in addiction and autism. * Changing brain chemistry through mindfulness. * We can break neuron connections and rewire them by catching it early. * Anyone can benefit from a mindfulness practice. * “Chill” App on iPhone to help ground you. * Learn a simple grounding exercise. Links http://liferecoveryconsulting.com/ Discover more with Robert’s “Mindful Recovery” and “Listening to Autism” Podcasts.