Podcasts about kubler ross

Sean and Ryan talk about the playoff losers, the Conference Finals, coaching changes, and more.

In this episode of our Day in the Life series, we speak with coach, supervisor, TedX speaker, and author Val Mullally. Join us for a rich and thought-provoking conversation that explores reflective supervision, psychological safety, parenting coaching, self-care, and so much more.   Discover Val's inspiring journey from schoolteacher to coach, and how her passion for emotional intelligence and child development evolved into her work in coaching and supervision. Val unpacks her unique TRAKC© model, a simple yet profound framework designed to support psychological safety in coaching relationships.   She shares her thoughts on parenting, and the impact of childhood experiences on adult behaviour and relationships, as well as why coaching supervision is reflective and not hierarchical. Val also discusses Kubler-Ross, Gabor Mate and others who have inspired her work. The conversation dives into grief, forgiveness, the need for feminine energy in the world and the wonders of using creative modalities in coaching and supervision. This is years of wisdom packed into one hour just for you!   You will learn:   ·       More about the TRAKC© model and how you can attend her upcoming webinar ·       Why Val believes supervision is an essential practice for every coach ·       The need for continuous learning and adaptation in the coaching profession   “I think supervision is absolutely foundational to being present in a way that really holds and supports and values people.”   Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave us a review! Your feedback helps us bring you more valuable content.   For the episode resources and guest bio, please visit:  https://www.associationforcoaching.com/page/dl-hub_podcast-channel_day-in-the-life-of-coaches-reflective-supervisor-author  

Explore the hidden depths of 'Left Behind' as the Kubler Ross model maps out Ellie's complex emotional landscape in a devastated world._____________Join me, Professor Noctis-- a real-life professor of religion, myth, and video games-, this spring for an in-depth exploration of The Last of Us in our biggest lecture series yet! Following along with each episode of the award-winning Max (formerly HBO) show, we'll examine both the show and the video game through the lenses of biomedical ethics, mycology, philosophy, psychology, religion and more-- all informed by university-level research. Through deep-dive interviews and livestreams, we'll unravel the game's deeper meanings, and bring along key experts in the field to help us make sense of it all.For the series, you'll get THREE episodes a week:MONDAY: Episode Recaps, starting with season 1 and continuing through season 2TUESDAY: Live lecture-playthroughs (Let's Plays + Lectures) of that episode's section the Playstation gameWEDNESDAY: Deep-dive discussions and interviews with key expertsDon't forget to subscribe and join the Discord community for more discussions. See you in class!#thelastofus #tlou #tlou2 #education -------------------------------------------------New episodes of the ProfNoctis Weekly Show release every Monday!    / @profnoctis  Check out my Livestream!   / profnoctis    / profnoctis    / profnoctis    / profnoctis  Join Prof's Classroom discussions:   / discord  ______________________________CLASS SUPPLIES and EXTRA CREDITAs an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.Playstation 5 Console: https://amzn.to/46GNBb6The Last of Us: Part 1 for PS5: https://amzn.to/4hf5YIKThe Last of Us: Part 1 for PS5: https://amzn.to/40IJjxjThe Last of Us and Philosophy by Charles Joshua Horn: https://amzn.to/4hDKvsFPsychology and The Last of Us by Anthony Bean: https://amzn.to/4hDOm9i-------------------------------------------------Want to listen to the ProfNoctis Show on-the-go? Check out our audio-only version wherever you get your podcasts! Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1A9WZpJ...______________________________RIVERSIDE FM: The Preferred Podcast Program of ProfNoctisAlso, we're excited to use the BEST Video Podcasting program around: Riverside FM! Check out and see if this program is for you. https://www.riverside.fm/?utm_campaig... (As a Riverside Affiliate, we receive a commission on all new subscriptions through this link)

Este libro escrito por la Dra. Elizabeth Kubler Ross, recopila varias conferencias dictadas por la Dra. donde comparte las experiencias adquiridas respecto a las experiencias cercanas a la muerte, habla sobre lo que se encuentra mas allá, lo que los que han regresado de esa muerte aportan, experiencias fascinantes que nos permiten entender que la muerte es un nacimiento.Dejo el link para que puedas conseguir el libro.La muerte un amanecer#holisticlunar #audiolibros #tanatologia #Kubler-Ross

Grief is a deeply personal experience that affects each individual differently. In this episode of the Delgado Podcast, Dr. Jacob Sermeno, LCSW highlights the importance of distinguishing between adaptive grief, a normal response to loss, and complicated grief, which involves prolonged symptoms like avoidance, hyper-attachment, or significant daily impairment. Recognizing these differences helps clinicians provide tailored support to those struggling to process loss. Cultural factors and societal norms play a significant role in how grief is expressed. Jacob emphasizes the need for cultural humility, encouraging clinicians to create safe, nonjudgmental spaces where clients can process their emotions authentically. Whether navigating cultural expectations or personal barriers like suppressed emotions, clinicians can empower clients to grieve in ways that honor their experiences while promoting healing. Jacob also shares advice for those supporting grieving loved ones. Simple acts of presence, such as listening without judgment or offering a kind word, can provide immense comfort. He reminds us that grief is not linear and that it's okay to have both good and bad days. Whether you're a clinician or a friend, understanding and respecting the grieving process is essential to providing meaningful care. Conversation includes: The clinical distinction between adaptive and complicated grief. Signs of dysfunctional grief and when to intervene therapeutically. Strategies for clinicians to build rapport with grieving clients. The role of cultural humility in addressing diverse grief practices and expectations. How grief affects biopsychosocial functioning Addressing avoidance and hyperattachment in complicated grief presentations. Techniques to support emotional expression while maintaining professional boundaries. Practical advice for grief-adjacent individuals supporting loved ones or colleagues. Understanding the Kubler-Ross model: utility and limitations in modern practice. Encouraging self-awareness and self-compassion in the grieving process. About Dr. Sermeno Dr. Jacob Sermeno is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over a decade of experience addressing chronic mental health concerns, cognitive impairments, and aging-related challenges. His work spans end-of-life care in hospice and nursing homes, geriatric psychiatric program development, and mental health support within corrections. Jacob's research focuses on reducing recidivism among incarcerated individuals with Severe Mental Illness (SMI), where he has pioneered treatment and discharge planning initiatives for SMI-focused housing units in San Bernardino County. Committed to advancing the field, he aspires to a career in education to equip future professionals with evidence-based practices for working with vulnerable populations.

Thanks for listening to this solo episode today! Grief can be a complicated experience: even finding a definition can be challenging. Grief is the sense of loss that develops from a loved one or something close to our heart being gone from our life. Today's episode discusses grief, and strategies to be aware of if you're experiencing grief, or someone you care about comes to you for support. I go through some of the physical symptoms, emotions, situations in which grief can experienced, the Kubler-Ross framework for grieving process, and strategies to navigate grief using nature. Family or friends can be an invaluable resource when navigating the grief process, as can support groups, nature, and professionals such as counselors and therapists. If you are experiencing grief and struggling with it, please contact someone or connect with me and I can help you get started. Connect with me via cactusmoose@protonmail.com or on Instagram with questions, comments and guest suggestions.

Lords: * Alexander * Hallie Topics: * Making AI drunk * Alexander's name generator, rehosted: http://twinbeard.com/names/ * How Star Wars being bought Disney is basically the same thing as the Roman Empire converting to Christianity * Electromagnetism * Super Bon Bon (according to Google search) * https://www.google.com/search?q=super+bon+bon+lyrics * Using flow theory and Kubler Ross grief to drive learning systems * Animals you want to pet, but cannot. Microtopics: * A Game Called Anomaly. * A tarot-based GM-less storytelling game about a sinister organization investigating a supernatural The KGB (not that one) * Deliberately lo-fi neural nets. * Real to less-real name sliders. * What Jamden Ovenson is up to these days. * Cranking the tipsy slider all way up. * anomaly. * Things humans can do with new tools. * Setting desired and undesired objectives for your learning designers. * Learning to speak as many languages as possible so that Godzilla does not rise from the briny deep. * Refusing to let the AI drive the bus. * A very big json dump. * The Mac Mini in your closet that runs your witch's familiars. * Things that are obvious to you but not to anyone else. * Cool apocryphal acts, bro. * Getting into Christ before it was cool. * Decanonizing anything that doesn't serve your power interests. * Bible/Star Wars crossover fan fiction. * Once you eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, forever will it dominate your destiny. * Metals that can be turned into a magnet. * Where to even start with spin? * Whether protons are physical objects. * The language of perceiving the world. * Reading a poem about quantum physics. * Finally understanding the mathematics of love so you can ditch the love poetry and find the best lovers in the math department. * Which types of quark are super effective against other types of quark. * Why they call it electromagnetism. * But what about the Bullet Galaxies? * Weakly-interactive massive particles, or WIMPs. * Another particle that we thought up. * Microphones not picking up your tinnitus. * Extremely slow and old neutrinos. * Cosmic Microwave Background Average Frame of Reference. * The Soul Coughing cadence. * A poem, but it's performed in a certain rhythm. Some white guy should invent that and take credit for it. * Song Meanings Blog Dot Com. * Helping drive exploration of new ideas. * Making a name generator so bad that nobody uses it more than once. * Patterns and responses that characterize human behavior. * Grief as a mechanism to address overfitting in the human learning model. * The Parable of the Spandrel. * Possibilities that are more probable than Godzilla having eaten your house. * Depression as a way to just sit there. * Automatons with anxiety. * Entering random Game Genie codes into your neural net. * Wanting to pet a service dog because he's the best boy. * Service dogs having their own service dogs, recursively all the way down. * A chicken named Regular Expressions, or Reggie for short. * Digging in anything that looks diggable. * Being desperately confused by objects that you can see through but not walk through. * Ways to not get tricked by yourself or others.

Envoyez-nous un message !

On today's episode of Management Development Unlocked, you'll hear the final installment of Eric's audiobook, Lead Like a Pro: The Essential Guide to New Managers. This episode focuses on change and why managers must be willing to adapt to new ways of doing business and relating to people. You'll hear the elements required to handle change effectively, the benefits that come from it, and how the five stages of grief relate to change. Eric reveals three places you can focus your time and how to divide them up to decide where to invest your time and energy. He also outlines the Kubler-Ross model of change and the Bridges transition model. Finally, you'll hear the five common reasons behind resistance to change, some steps you can take to address it, the three things resistance to change represents, and learning to view change as an opportunity.In this episode, you'll hear:Change and the need for managers to adapt to new ways of doing business and relating to people.The elements of handling change effectively as a manager and the benefits you can get from managing change well.How understanding the five stages of grief can help you handle your team members' reactions to change.A real-life example of what happens when a manager doesn't prepare a team for a big change.Reflecting on how you view change and what it models for your team.Three places you can focus your time and how to divide them up to decide where to invest your time and energy.The Kubler-Ross model of change.Reducing resistance to change in your organization and how it manifests.The five common reasons behind resistance to change and some steps you can take to address it.The three things resistance to change represents and how to overcome it.Giving team members space to adjust to the change.The Bridges transition model.Beginnings and new understandings, values, and attitudes.Gaining control of your own responses and viewing change as an opportunity.The path to action: fact, story, feel, act.Remaining connected to your peers and boss through the change and maintaining a positive attitude.---Head over to girardtrainingsolutions.com to take a look at the 20+ courses I offer for new and experienced managers! Get your copy of the Amazon #1 Bestseller and #1 New Release Lead Like a Pro - The Essential Guide for New Managers while you're there!Connect with me on LinkedIn.Please subscribe and comment!

When David Kessler's publicist asked if he could come on the podcast to promote his newest workbook, Finding Meaning: Grief Workbook: Tools for Releasing Pain and Remembering with Love, I felt honored. David Kessler is one of the world's foremost experts on grief and loss. He has written six best-selling books over the years, including two that he co-authored with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. He founded the website grief.com, which boasts over 5 million yearly visits.  Despite these accolades, I admire David most for his approach to life after becoming a bereaved dad. When David's younger son, David, died suddenly in 2016, he found that he could not prepare for such pain. David says that he wanted to call every grieving parent whom he had counseled to say he hadn't understood the depth of their pain.  David told grieving parents to start therapy and go to support groups, but he did not know just how difficult that was for a newly bereaved parent. David says that it took him three times to get the courage to attend his first grief support group. He sat in the group staring at a table with his books on it, no longer the grief expert, but instead a bereaved dad. After the death of his son, David learned so much that he hadn't truly understood before. He learned that the pain of grief was incredibly deep, but if you took time to excavate through the pain, meanings could be revealed. With the blessing of the Kubler-Ross family in 2019, David wrote a new book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Since the book was published, he realized that a personal workbook might be an even better way for people to find meaning in their lives. David says the workbook is a way to 'get the pain out of you and into the workbook.' It is a truly healing experience to complete the workbook. I want to close today with what David said to me at the end of our interview. 'See the meaning you are making in the lives you are touching.' Every time you talk to another person, you are making meaning, whether you go on a podcast to share your story with thousands or sit at a kitchen table and share with one person.

Can someone find love again after losing a spouse? Today, we delve into the poignant and powerful topic of finding love after experiencing loss. I'm your host, Tina Yeager, and I'm thrilled to introduce our special guest, James C. Magruder. James is a multi-published author known for his essays, articles, and inspirational Christian fiction, including his recent novel, "The Desert Between Us." He blogs about maximizing life by reducing the speed you live it in his popular blog called PAUSE MORE. RUSH LESS.  In this heartfelt conversation, James shares his personal journey of dealing with grief and the questions that inspired his writing: Can one love again after losing a spouse, and can that love ever be the same? Drawing from his extensive research and personal experiences, James offers profound insights and practical advice on navigating the intricate landscape of sorrow to find love and hope again. Join us as we explore the stages of grief, the significance of giving yourself permission to love anew, and the therapeutic power of journaling and tears. This episode promises to offer comfort and guidance to anyone grappling with loss. Tune in to hear James's moving story and learn how you, too, can flourish after loss.

Death Doula Global Summit Speaker Spotlight: Ken Ross President of the Elisabeth Kubler Ross Foundation. Honoring Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: A Legacy of Compassion and End-of-Life Care In 2020, Doulagivers Institute sponsored The Death Doula Global Summit and had interviews with the most impactful pioneers in the Death Doula and Death Positive Movement. The wisdom and interviews are breathtaking. If you were not able to be part of that live summit, here is your chance as we will be spotlighting some of the great interviews that will not only heal your heart- but inspire you about what is yet to come. In this episode of Ask a Death Doula, Join us as Ken Ross, son of the legendary Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, shares his extraordinary journey and what it was like growing up with a mother who revolutionized how we understand death and dying?  You'll uncover intimate stories about his mother, from her early days as a humble Swiss woman to becoming a global pioneer in end-of-life care. Ken gives us an insider's view into her remarkable life, revealing the profound impact she had on both him and the world. We also honor Dr. Kubler-Ross's relentless advocacy for marginalized communities. From aiding bullied classmates and animals in her youth to providing compassionate care for AIDS patients during a time of widespread stigma, her dedication knew no bounds. Despite facing severe backlash and professional ostracization, her mission to ensure dignified end-of-life care never wavered. Her pioneering contributions to holistic patient care have paved the way for modern advancements in palliative care, inspiring countless medical professionals, including registered nurse Suzanne O'Brien, who reflects on Dr. Kubler-Ross's influence on her own work. Looking to the future, Ken shares exciting developments aimed at preserving and expanding his mother's legacy. Discover how the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Foundation is growing its global reach, from launching online education series in multiple languages to digitizing her archives at Stanford. As we navigate the challenges of COVID-19, this episode is a poignant reminder of the transformative power of adversity. Embrace life fully, learn from your fears, and carry forward the compassion that Dr. Kubler-Ross championed throughout her life.   We dive into: (04:23 - 05:44) Growing Up With an Incredible Mother (08:46 - 09:36) Maintaining Humanity During Crisis (12:14 - 13:41) Importance of Holistic End-of-Life Care (20:06 - 21:16) Global Online Education Collaboration Efforts (24:29 - 25:49) Global Expansion for Death Cafes (30:33 - 32:48) Life-Changing Journeys and Cultural Connections (35:42 - 36:41) Death as Universal Teacher     We want to hear from you!!! If you found this podcast helpful, Please Rate, Review, & Follow so we can reach more people.     Links mentioned in this episode: Doulagivers Institute The NEXT Free Level 1 End of Life Doula Training Registration LINK  The NEXT Free Doulagivers Discovery Webinar  Elizabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation   80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things: Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE! Access them Below! Making your wishes known is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones. Download The Doulagivers 9 Choice Advance Directive now! It's FREE!     More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here! Learn more about Ken Ross Photography - Click here!

Lee's latest episode explores the concept of change as a journey, emphasising the individual nature of each person's experience. Lee discusses various models like the Kubler-Ross change curve and Bridges transition model, highlighting the importance of understanding people's past experiences and emotions when leading change initiatives. The episode underscores the significance of making individuals feel positive, safe, and supported throughout the change process, ultimately expressing the need for empathy and gradual progress in navigating the complexities of change. KEY TAKEAWAYS Change is a journey that individuals go through, and it is important to understand each person's unique journey. Resistance to change often stems from past experiences and habits that individuals are comfortable with. Making people feel positive, safe, and supported is crucial when leading and delivering change initiatives. Change requires breaking old habits or creating new ones, which can be challenging but necessary for progress. Understanding where people are coming from, collectively working towards a common destination, and moving forward gradually are key aspects of successful change management. BEST MOMENTS "Change is not easy because we are creatures of habit. Every single day, the majority of the things that we do are habitual." "We need to make people feel positive. We need to make people feel safe. We need to make people feel supported."  "Everybody is on a journey. Not everybody wants to be on a journey. We may face resistance."  "Change is a journey for everybody... Changing anything is often not like flicking a switch."  "Mayor Angelou said, 'I'll forget what you did, I'll forget what you said, but I'll never forget how you made me feel.'" HOST BIO You can contact Lee Houghton on 07813342194 Lee@leehoughton.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/lhoughton/ For the last 15 years, I have been a multi-sector internal or external business improvement consultant, building the improved capability of individuals, teams and businesses. In my spare time, I enjoy spending time with my two young children Jack & India. I also enjoy listening to and reading business & personal development material. Lee Houghton is “THE Business Problem Solver”, a Management Consultant, CX Specialist and Keynote Speaker.

Has something in this episode resonated with you? Get in touch! Ever wondered why some schools are celebrating massive advancements in literacy while others are scrambling to keep up? Join us as we unpack the transformative mandates in Victoria and Tasmania that are revolutionizing literacy education. With Victoria rolling out mandatory daily phonics lessons and Tasmania following suit with structured literacy, we're spotlighting the profound impact these changes are having on students, teachers, and principals alike. Hear from school leaders who can finally share their gains openly and find out how these statewide directives are easing the burden on schools already ahead of the curve.But what about those schools that are just beginning to navigate these seismic shifts? We journey through the emotional landscape of educators facing this daunting transition, guided by the Kubler-Ross change curve. From initial shock and denial to ultimate acceptance, we explore the human side of educational reform. Tune in for a compassionate discussion filled with actionable strategies and resources designed to support your team through these pivotal changes in literacy education. This episode is more than just an update—it's a lifeline for educators at every stage of the journey. Quick LinksJocelyn Seamer Education HomepageThe Resource RoomThe Evergreen TeacherShopYoutube channelFacebook Page#jocelynseamereducation #literacy #bestpractice #earlyprimaryyears #primaryschool #primaryschools #primaryschoolteacher #earlyyearseducation #earlyyearseducator #structuredliteracy #scienceofreading #classroom #learning #learningisfun #studentsuccess #studentsupport #teacherlife #theresourceroom #theevergreenteacher #upperprimary #upperprimaryteacher #thestructuredliteracypodcast #phoneme #grapheme #phonics #syntheticphonics

In this episode of Mental Wealth, I explore the multifaceted nature of grief from three distinct perspectives: first-person, second-person, and third-person. I share a personal story of dealing with grief, offers insights from the National Institute of Health on the different types and myths of grief, discusses the Kubler-Ross model of grief stages, and provides practical advice on coping mechanisms and support strategies. Join me as I dive into the emotional journey of grief and learn how to navigate this challenging experience. 00:00 Introduction to Grief 00:23 Personal Encounter with Grief 03:30 Impact of Environment on Grief 05:55 Understanding Grief: Definitions and Types 06:57 Debunking Myths About Grief 08:55 Stages of Grief: The Kubler-Ross Model 10:19 Coping Strategies and Support 12:24 Conclusion and Moving Forward Social Media Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jaimeertakeoverr/ Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/search?term=jaimeertakeoverr Twitter https://twitter.com/jaimeertakeover TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@jaimeertakeoverr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Is your trauma eating you up from the inside? That's how it felt to Becca. Writing her book and talking about it openly is helping her shift to thriving with the help of a great therapist, energy work and some fab people lining up behind to support her. Great insights on seeing our connectedness, authenticity and vulnerability.Here's a bit about Becca's previous interview:Do you wish your healing was faster?Did your world fall apart when you came out of the fog? Are you wondering what comes now you're consciously aware of your trauma? Listen in as Becca shares how she came out of the fog after tragedy and what's helping her heal. An incredibly vulnerable and empowering episode.Becca was born in 1975, adopted at 2 years old and lives in Seattle.Here's a link to  Becca's that interview https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/out-of-the-fog-beyond-with-becca-wellingtonHere's a link to the Kubler Ross curve https://www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/change-curve/https://www.rebeccawellington.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccawellington/https://www.instagram.com/_rebecca_wellington/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085186204263 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Send us a Text Message.I found this piece and wanted to share it with you all. Many of us are familiar with the stages of grief Dr. Kubler Ross established for terminally ill patients. What you'll hear in this episode may validate some feelings around grief. Listen and read my blog: https://whilewerestillhere.com Reach me at kathy@whilewerestillhere.comStarting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - maddelinesplushpouch@gmail.com

It's patient experience week here in the United States, and we have asked CHESS President Dr. Yates Lennon to share his story about how, as a practicing provider, he took the time to listen to feedback from his patients and implement changes which not only led to better patient experience scores but shed new light on the importance of value-based care. Doctor Lennon, welcome to the Move to Value Podcast. Would you share your story about being a provider and how you came to realize the importance of the patient experience in health care? So, my name is Yates Lennon and I am an ObGyn by training, practice, private practice, obstetrics and gynecology from 1993 to 1998 in Hot Springs, Arkansas and then in 1998 moved back to North Carolina, which was home, to practice in a small private practice in Asheboro, North Carolina. From 98 until 2008, we were a small independent group for physicians at at most. And in 2008, our group really saw the early, phases of value-based care coming. We saw, the landscape of regulatory requirements, changing quickly and, and understood that keeping up with that was going to be a significant challenge. We were one of the first ObGyn practices as a small group to go on to, electronic health records. So, we did that, and actually we did that in 2002, I believe. But then in 2008, as we really sort of started seeing the handwriting on the wall, we felt like we needed to join forces with a larger organization that could really help us keep up, stay abreast of what was happening while we continued to focus on delivering care to our patients.So in 2008, we merged our practice into what was then Cornerstone Health Care, based in High Point, as we merged in and became a part of that organization around 2011, I had expressed an interest to the leadership at that time of becoming more involved in an administrative capacity of some sort, did not have a particular path in mind, but but knew that I had always enjoyed the administrative side of medicine and, and running a small practice. So, I was asked at that time if I would consider taking on an overhaul of the patient experience for the Cornerstone Group. So, we formed a multidisciplinary team, included, physicians, advanced practice providers, CMAs, nurse assistants, nurses, office managers, front desk staff. The throughout the whole organization, through all levels of the organization came together and formed a group, that later was named peak, patient expectations are key. And in the course of that, I really began to see, how important patient experience really was. And, and even though I had practiced for a long time, I never really thought that much about the patient experience of care. Fast forward another year or two. Cornerstone had begun the their first efforts at a patient experience survey, which was done online.Prior to that, it was a paper survey, and it was handed out at the desk to patients. So not incredibly random. We employ a employed, a large provider that, did these online surveys. And I was actually very excited to see my first survey. I had a large patient panel, had a good reputation in the community, and was excited to see these first results. Unbeknownst to me, when they came in, our office manager took it upon herself to post them at the back door, and I came in and saw my scores and they were by far the worst of anyone in our practice, and I was devastated. I went through all of Kubler-Ross stages of grief in the span of about 15 minutes. But following that, I decided, you know what? There's a message here. So, what is that message? What What are my patients trying to tell me? are kind enough to fill out the surveys, tell me how I'm doing. I need to be wise enough to listen. So, I started assessing what a visit in my office actually looked like. I thought the the highest standard was efficiency, that if I was efficient and always on time, that that would be what made everyone happy....

We regularly see psychological and coaching models being shared on social media, in blogs and discussions, and sometimes the sharing sets our teeth on edge.   We've mentioned this before when we explored the myth of Ikigai, and in this episode, we'd like to air some thoughts on a model often shared on social media, Kübler-Ross Change Curve.   In this episode we would like to engage in a little mythbusting around where this model comes from, why it's unhelpful to call it the Kübler-Ross Change Curve, and under what circumstances talking about change in terms of curve may, or may not be useful.   Resources:   Not The Kubler-Ross Change Curve     Enjoy the podcast? It would be great if you left us a review here.    Contact Details Find out about our Doctors' Transformational Coaching Diploma Connect with the hosts: Tom: www.linkedin.com/in/tomdillondoctorstranformationalcoachingdiploma/ Email: tomdillon@yourcoachingjourney.co.uk   Helen: www.linkedin.com/in/helenleathers/ Email: helenleathers@yourcoachingjourney.co.uk   Follow ‘Your Coaching Journey' on Instagram or Linkedin: www.instagram.com/yourcoachingjourney/ www.linkedin.com/company/your-coaching-journey/   Do You Have a Question? From time to time we will have an episode where we answer listeners' questions about coaching.   If you have a question, please send it to us using one of our email addresses above and you may get a mention in a future episode. (If you want to remain anonymous, that's absolutely fine, just let us know)

Embark on a journey through the intricate maze of marketing technology as Frans Riemersma, the brain behind MarTech Tribe, joins us to unravel the threads of hype cycles and their profound impact on the world of marketing innovation. Discover how these cycles mirror psychological models like the Dunning-Kruger effect and Kubler-Ross's grief curve, offering a fascinating glimpse into the way we, and the organizations we are a part of, come to grips with the relentless tide of new tech. If you're curious about aligning your tech investments with your actual needs, often finding that less is more, this episode is your treasure map to making informed, strategic choices.Dive into the world where hype cycles intersect with marketing maturity models, and uncover where your company might land in the grand scheme of marketing automation and prowess. Frans guides us through the nuanced understanding of these maturity definitions, drawing from Carnegie Mellon University's framework, and how these cycles ripple through every level—from industry trends to individual experiences. We discuss the art of identifying the right project leaders and making strategic tech adoption decisions that navigate the crests and troughs of innovation. For those who aspire to lead the pack in the marketing technology race, this conversation is a lighthouse in the fog of industry buzz.In our final chapter, we switch gears to the strategic elements of marketing operations and the undeniable power of data analysis. Learn how to reverse engineer customer journeys that magnify your company's value and why prioritizing client needs trumps the allure of shiny new tech. Frans imparts wisdom on the Blue Ocean Strategy and the art of aiming small to win big—ensuring your investments are not just expenditures but catalysts for success. If you've ever wondered how to make every dollar work for you, join us as we dissect the crucial elements of profitability and strategic questioning that can lead to your business's financial triumph.Episode Brought to You By MO Pros The #1 Community for Marketing Operations Professionals MOps-Apalooza is back by popular demand in Anaheim, California! Register for the magical community-led conference for Marketing and Revenue Operations pros.Support the show

When Samira K. Beckwith graces our mic, you're not just hearing from a healthcare visionary; you're learning from a powerhouse who transformed her battle with Hodgkin's disease into a beacon of hope for hospice and palliative care. Her journey, shaped by personal trials and the work of legends like Kubler-Ross and Dame Cicely Saunders, has redefined what compassionate care looks like at life's end. Join us as Samira unfolds the narrative of her life's work, mentoring future leaders and innovating patient care to resonate profoundly with those in their twilight chapters.There's a revolution brewing in elder care and hospice services, and it's one that Samira has been at the forefront of. The pioneering PACE program and the evolution of Hope Hospice into Hope Healthcare serve as testaments to the changing landscape of community-centric care. In this episode, we reveal how initiatives like 'Dancing with the Stars' are more than glitter and glam; they're strategic engagements that knit the community closer, fostering an ecosystem where leadership transcends tasks and becomes a symphony of hope and holistic care.As we wrap up, we cast a gaze toward the horizon where palliative care and the funeral industry intertwine in the concept of Celebration of Life Centers. Samira and I discuss the essentials of maintaining the sanctity of hospice in the midst of such transitions, embracing innovation while safeguarding the soul of whole-person care. We invite you to lean in, subscribe, and join the conversation that looks to the future without losing sight of the hospice heritage—a delicate dance of mission and business, ensuring the heart of care remains beating strong.Teleios Collaborative Network / https://www.teleioscn.org/tcntalkspodcast

I recently came across a quote from Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross that caught my attention. She bluntly said there is a life choice that is so important, if you don't choose it, you are a "prostitute" and "you will not have a pleasant death."  This episode offers two opposing life choices. One is proposed by Dr. Kubler-Ross. Other is a movie quote, but it is said by none other than Morgan Freeman, who may not be God, but has played the Almighty in a movie. ———————————————————————————————————————. Have a spiritual, theological, or religious question you would like me to tackle?Contact me via email:    Dan@SkyPilot.zoneAnd be sure to check me out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SkyPilotFaithQuest...........................................................................................Music: Composed for SkyPilot: Faith Quest by Arlan Sunnarborg

In this episode, Lacy, Jessica, and Dr. Tara delve into the profound landscapes of grief, unveiling how it intertwines with blind spots, manifestation, and healing. Grief and loss come in all forms: from experiencing a loved one passing on, to the end of an era in your life, to the end of a friendship or romantic relationship. Grief is something we all go through as we experience life's journey, and this episode serves to remind you that you're not alone – as well as offering helpful tools and resources for you to better understand and navigate your unique path through grief and loss. Join us as we unravel the intertwined tapestry of grief, manifestation, and self-discovery, empowering you to navigate life's inevitable transitions with resilience and grace. Trigger Warning: This episode explores themes of grief, loss, shock, and trauma. Find the Complete Show Notes Here -> https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast In This Episode We Talk About:What is grief and what does it mean to let go?Examples of grief and “the change curve”The Kubler-Ross model of grief and why understanding phases can be helpful to process traumatic eventsHow not fully healing can keep you in an unproductive loopWhy acceptance sets the stage for moving forwardTypes of grief including anticipatory, shock, ambiguous, cumulative, complicated, and collective griefManifestation and letting go as two sides of the same conceptHow grief relates to blind spots, letting go, and shadow workThe importance of self-worth and reflection can be important in processing the end of relationshipsHow even these “crucible moments” can create a new phase or way of beingMindset shifts around grief and loss THEMES / TIME STAMPS:Experiences and life shifts that may harbor grief and trauma (00:10:12)Tools and pillars that can be supportive during times of grief (00:33:40)How self-worth and self-awareness can help navigate low points (00:49:30) Resources: Give the Gift of Manifestation - Check out our TBM Gift GuideOur End of Year SALE is now Live! Lock in the lowest rates of the year and join the Pathway Membership. *For new or returning customers only.Sale Ends Dec 31st at midnight PSTShare your Challenge Manifestation Testimonials for a chance to be featured on Expanded!Seed - code TBM for 30% off your first month's supply of Seed's DS-01® and PDS-08™% off your first month's supply with code TBMSeed's DS-01® Daily Synbiotic (for adults ages 18+)Seed's PDS-08™Pediatric Daily Synbiotic - (for kids ages 3-17) Osea - 10% off with TBM10Undaria Cleansing Body PolishUndaria Algae Body OilUndaria Algae Body Butter Letting Go by David R Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.After by Bruce Greyson, M.D.Before: Children's Memories of Previous Lives by Jim B. Tucker, M.D.Threshold: Terminal Lucidity and the Border of Life and Death by Alexander BatthyanyJoin the challenge here!Find our Letting Go DI and other DIs mentioned in this episode inside our Daily Practice Library!Find all workshops and quizzes mentioned inside our Pathway Membership!Where To Find Us!@tobemagnetic (IG)@Lacyannephillips@Jessicaashleygill@tobemagnetic (youtube)@expandedpodcastWhere To Find Dr. Tara!Listen to Reinvent Yourself with Dr. TaraTaraSwart.comDr. Tara Swart Twitter: @TaraSwartDr. Tara Swart Instagram: @DrTaraSwart Other ResourcesSubmit to Be a Process GuestText Us: +1-213-423-5226 - (texting is only for US, Canada, & Puerto Rico)Alexis Smart x TBM EXPANDED Flower RemedyTBM Manifestation JournalFree Offerings to Get You StartedLearn the Process! Expanded Podcast - How to Manifest Anything You DesireGet Expanded! The Motivation - Testimonial LibraryAre you in a Rut, Rockbottom, Next Level or Magic Dark? Take the Quiz

The topic of grief is a lot to unpack, and that's why we're putting this out now, during the Chanukah season at such a time of light. What is grief - this deep pain/sorrow from losing a loved one/ something you lost -the end of a relationship, whether it's dating, workmates, “the end of an era” -Weirdest thing about grief - -The Kubler-Ross model suggests five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, not everyone experiences these stages, and they don't necessarily occur in a linear fashion. Listen along- and as always your feedback is ALWAYS valued

On today's episode, I am talking about the Kubler Ross five stages of grief. I'll tell you what stage I'm at the episode. Thank you so much for listening.

We certainly have had – and the world has had – our fair share of reasons to grieve. Wherever you live, you felt the fear and loss of the pandemic. Add on to that, the impact of hurricanes, tornados, drought, fires, floods,  war, racism, political unrest, violence… we've got it all - some countries more than others. But these events are also a backdrop for whatever happens in our personal lives – people who we've loved dying, losing a job, having to move or even to escape from where you've lived, developing a severe mental or physical illness or one that's chronically debilitating, being abused… The list goes on and on. And we need to grieve. Yet, one of the ironies  is that the model we've been taught – in a very “this is how you should be grieving” kind of way – was created to help us understand what the person dying might feel and wasn't created to describe the grief of people who are alive and grieving loss. What's grief really like? How do the stages that Kübler-Ross help? How do they hurt? What are the effects of your culture or faith alter your experience of grief? How is the Internet changing the way we grieve? The listener email for today is from a woman whose sense of emotional stability has decreased after the death of her father – and she has no relationship with her mom. She uses the term, “I feel orphaned.” So as always, we'll talk about what you can do about it. Before we go on,  I'd like to invite you to listen and watch my TEDxBocaRaton talk.. Here's one of the many reviews… "Dr. Rutherford, what a beautiful talk. I watched it several times. We can all learn to recognize the signs and be ready to support those who might be silently struggling. This TEDx talk is a powerful reminder to be more attentive to the people around us, listen beyond the surface, and offer support without judgment." Click here to listen! Advertisers Links: Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! Vital Links: Heidi Bastian's article in The Atlantic Article: It's Time To Let The Five Stages of Grief Die Dr. Franco's article on cultural differences in grief. You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, The Selfwork Podcast.  Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you'd like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook! And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You'll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you're giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I'll look forward to hearing from you! Episode Transcript:  Intro: This is SelfWork and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. At SelfWork, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world and what to do about them. I'm Dr. Margaret and SelfWork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own selfwork. Welcome or welcome back to SelfWork. I'm Dr. Margaret Ruthford. I'm so glad you're here. I started this podcast almost seven years ago now to extend the walls of my practice to those of you who are already interested maybe in therapy or you were just interested in psychological stuff, to those of you who might have just been diagnosed or you're looking for some answers. And to those of you who might just be a little skeptical about the whole mental health horizon, so welcome, welcome to all of you. We certainly have had, and the world has had their fair share of reasons to grieve recently. Wherever you live, you felt the fear and loss of the pandemic. Add onto that, the impact of hurricanes, tornadoes, drought, fires, floods, war, racism, political unrest, violence - we've got it all - some countries more than others, but these events are also a backdrop for whatever happens in our personal lives, people who we've loved dying, we lose a job, we have to move or even you, you have to escape where you've lived. You develop a severe mental or physical illness or or that's chronically debilitating or someone you love does or you're being abused. The list goes on and on and we need to grieve. And yet one of the ironies, and what I want to address in today's SelfWork is that the model we've had taught to us in a very "this is how you should be grieving" kind of way, was initially met or designed to describe the stages of grief for the person who is terminally ill or dying themselves. It's Elizabeth Kübler Ross's five stages of grief. It was never meant for the people who were alive in grieving a loss. So that's what we're gonna talk about today. What's grief really like? How did the stages that Kübler Ross suggests help? How do they hurt? What are the effects of your culture or faith and how does that alter your experience of grief? How is the internet changing the way we grieve? That's an interesting kind of subject. The listener mail for today is from a woman whose sense of emotional stability has decreased after the death of her father, and she has no relationship with her mom. She uses the term, "I feel orphaned." I've heard so many people say this, so we're gonna talk about it today on SelfWork. Before we go on, I'd like to invite you to listen and watch my TEDxBocaRaton talk. Here's one of the many reviews, "Dr. Margaret Rutherford. What a beautiful talk. I watched it several times. We can all learn to recognize the signs and be ready to support those who might be silently struggling. This TEDx talk is a powerful reminder to be more attentive to the people around us. Listen beyond the surface and offer support without judgment. Together we can break mental health stigma and create a more compassionate and understanding society." So I will have the link in the show notes or you can just put in Dr. Margaret Rutherford TEDx and it'll lead you right with my YouTube. And of course, if you like it, please say you do or check that off and even leave a review. I'm beginning to get asked to speak about perfectly in depression directly because of this TEDx talk. And so that's a wonderful and very helpful way you can help me spread what I believe is a very important message. Thanks, my gratitude to y'all. Episode Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, the psychiatrist who first developed and wrote about five stages of grief, gathered her ideas from conversations with dying patients. She talked to them and she watched the grief that they go through. And yet it was snapped up by others to describe what everyone who is grieving must go through. In fact, it doesn't make a lot of sense when you think of it and it's even becomes something you should be going through, which is really ridiculous. For one thing, the stages are interactive, but somehow people have felt bad that those stages weren't part of their experience. In an article put out by McGill entitled, it's Time to Let the Five Stages of Grief Die. The author state and I quote while she was a psychiatry resident in New York, Kubler Ross realized how little attention was paid by hospital staff to terminally ill patients and how little medical knowledge there was regarding the psychological aspects besetting patients facing death. She worked extensively with terminally ill patients throughout her medical school career and continued to study and teach about such topics. She was also criticized by academic researchers for not running a real study. Instead, she used conversations with a dying as her basis for putting the stages forth and wanting medical staff to be a better attuned to what was going on with these patients. Now, what are those stages that she was describing? You may have thought I needed to know this way before now, but here we go. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She asserted that these stages weren't rigid. You could feel or express them at any time. Denial that you were dying or that you had a serious illness might make you not seek treatment or refuse treatment. Keep how serious your illness was out of your consciousness. Anger is the second one, anger that it feels unfair that you're not ready to die, that you have more life to live. The third one is bargaining. If I can just get better, I'll never do X, Y, or Z again, or I'll start doing X, Y, or Z. Then there's depression, sadness over past choices, sadness over not having control, sadness that you're leaving the people you love, the life you've been fulfilled by and thus acceptance, realizing there's truly no more you can do. Acceptance that you won't see your grandchild born or your kid graduating from high school. Of course, how you grieve is shaped so much by the culture you live in or in the rituals, the religion you follow or that you have faith in general. Dr. Marissa Franco, who we've had here as SelfWork as a guest, she's really cool, writes in Psychology Today that research suggests that when we're helping our loved ones cope with grief, we should consider what they find. Most supportive people in the Asian and Asian American communities for example, may prefer spending time with close others without talking about their grief. While people in the European American community may want more explicit emotional support. So she's pointing out that we need to understand and be aware of how a certain person may be grieving, how their culture influences them, how their faith influences them, and what you may need or want to do to be respectful of that because that's what's important. Even with the best of intentions, you may make someone's experience of grief more difficult or if they really want that kind of support from you, they want to talk about their loved one who's gone. Then you hold back obvious emotional support and you don't wanna do that, or at least most of us don't. actually to know what's truly helpful. You could of course ask and not assume, how would you like for me to support you? So what role does a belief in life after death have on grief? I looked at several different studies but was drawn to one whose results showed that people reporting no spiritual belief had not resolved their grief. By 14 months after the death, participants with strong spiritual beliefs resolved their grief progressively over the same period. And then people with low levels of belief showed little change in the first nine months but thereafter resolved their grief. So basically a spiritual belief seemed to increase the likelihood that you'll resolve your grief earlier and even a small bit of relief helped to resolve grief more quickly. That's important. But let me quickly say that's not necessarily been what I've seen in my own clients, and I've watched many people grieve. Because so much of what matters is the timing or the way someone died. Did you have a chance to do what's called anticipatory grieving? Allowing yourself to feel what it's going to feel like to lose someone you love, whether you got to say goodbye, whether you feel to blame or partially responsible for their death or you were told that you were responsible. Grief can often challenge your belief in some of these instances. If there's a God, then how did this happen? Now for those of you listening who say, if you believe in heaven, if you believe in life after death or if your religion is Buddhist or Hindu or whatever it is, that may of course be very comforting. I'm not saying that, but here's an example. I worked with a man years ago whose alcoholic parents had told him he was to blame for a sibling's death when he had been only a child himself. When it occurred they were inside drinking and this 10 year old boy was tasked with watching his four younger siblings and one of them got hit by a car. So obviously when you're blamed, when you have a terrible time processing your own grief, or maybe you lose contact with others who you might be grieving with, you've got to go back to college or you've got a new job or you've quickly moved to a new home. So those that you might be grieving with are no longer there. Of course, our modern technology helps with that, but still, but there's also the possibility that you are not even allowed to speak of your mom who died because your father has remarried. So many factors affect your grief, how you are encouraged to express it or how you're not allowed to do so again, faith, a certain structure of what happens after death. If you believe, that can certainly be helpful, but from my perspective at in my experience, that suddenly you just don't grieve. That's far too simplistic. Let's stop for a moment for a brief message and offer from BetterHelp where you just might turn in this kind of grieving situation or time. BetterHelp Ad I recently heard a fascinating reframe for the idea of asking for help. Maybe you view asking for help as something someone does who's falling apart or who isn't strong. So consider this. What if asking for help means that you won't let anything get in your way of solving an issue, finding out an answer or discovering a better direction? Asking for help is much more about your determination to recognize what needs your attention or what is getting in your way of having the life you want better help. The number one online therapy provider makes reaching out about as easy as it can get. Within 48 hours, you'll have a professional licensed therapist with whom you can text, email, or talk with to guide you and you're not having to comb through therapist websites or drive to appointments. It's convenient, inexpensive, and readily available. Now you can find a therapist that fits your needs with better help and if you use the code or link betterhelp.com/selfwork, you get 10% off your first month of sessions. So just do it. You'll be glad you did that. Link again is betterhelp.com/selfwork to get 10% off your first month of surfaces. Episode Continues Sometimes when I'm looking into a topic like I did today, I realize that someone has said something born from their their own experience and expertise that I just can't say better. So when I read this Atlantic article by a grieving mother who's also a researcher, Heidi Bastian, I knew I was having that experience again. She went looking after her 38 year old son's sudden death for help. She found everything from you'll never survive This grief to the idea that there is a time period when grief will be at its strongest but will abate. I want to share this with you because it's the wisest thing I've read on my journey to bring you this episode. So I'm going to be directly quoting from Heidi Bastian's Atlantic article, and if you want to read all of it, I will have it in the show notes. So I quote, "For most people, after most deaths, grief starts to ease after a few weeks and continues to reduce. From there, there can still be tough times ahead, but in most circumstances, by the time you reach six months, you're unlikely to be in a constant state of severe grief. Although most people will experience grief when they lose someone close to them, they won't be overwhelmed by it. For roughly half the bereaved grief is mild or moderate and then subsides among those who experience high levels of grief at the outset, distress will usually begin to ease in a few weeks or months to, it's not a straight line where each day is better than the one before, but the overall level of suffering does go down over time" "Some bereaved people thought about 10% according to the research will be in severe grief for six months or longer. The risk of remaining in deep grief for more than a year is higher for those under socioeconomic stress or who experience the loss of a spouse and it's even higher still after the loss of a child or a sudden death via accident, suicide or homicide." That's kind of what I was saying before. So for example, I worked with someone last year who lost her older child in a plane wreck and her husband was also on that plane  - and he survived. So where does grief get expressed in that family? Often grieve isn't a solo event others lived through. So again, is there a right way to grieve? No, no, no. Also, to chime in with Ms. Bastian, I have found that grief sort of comes in waves and I've talked about this on the podcast. And you'll wonder and even be afraid what's happening when you get hit by what seems like a stronger wave than ever when your grief had been subsiding. "Oh my, I'm going all the way back to where I was in the first place." That's not my experience with grief. Grief comes in waves and some are stronger than others and then all of a sudden you can get hit by a rogue wave when you get triggered in some way. That's also grief. But let's talk about when it becomes more severe in penetrating, and I'm gonna go back to Miss Bastian's article. "Adults who face this long-running, even severe distress are experiencing what many clinicians and researchers term prolonged or complicated grief. This increases their chances of having serious mental and physical health problems, including premature death and suicidal thoughts. Even if we don't personally know someone who died within a couple of years of a major loss, we've probably all heard stories of it". So back to just me talking , there is a new diagnosis called complicated grief and it's still very controversial 'cause it seems to be pathologizing really deep grief and they give it some sort of one year cutoff. If you're still grieving after one year, then you should be given a diagnosis of complicated grief. The Washington Post op-ed argued why set expectations on its pace or texture. Why pathologize love? Now I'm back to Miss Bastian. Okay, so basically Adam was the name of her son, and I'm gonna go back to this part of her article. "When Adam died, I needed hope that a vibrant life was within my reach. The science showed me that it might be closer than I could even imagine. So I tried to look forward, forward as I did so I held onto a thought about my boy that helped me face a future without him." And this is incredibly profound. So please listen closely. Ms. Baston: "He had loved me his whole life, that love is precious and it's for keeps. I will not waste it." So what she seems to be saying is she's reached a space or place in her heart and her mind where emotionally dying herself from the pain of losing her son would devalue his love for her. I remember a woman I worked with many years ago or several years ago, lost her daughter in a tragic accident, completely shocking and a little more than a year after her death, she went to a wedding of one of her daughter's really good friends and they had a picture of her daughter there because she was supposed to have been in the wedding. And she came back into therapy and said something very similar to Ms. Bastian. She said, "I realized I was there because everyone there had loved my daughter and I loved my daughter, and I was there to honor her as hard as it was for her to go." Deciding you're not going to emotionally die along with your your son or your brother, or your mother or your friend is so important. I see this so much. It's a choice to continue living and in so doing, honoring the person who died. I get a Christmas card every year, in fact, from a family I saw years ago, a couple who'd lost their second child days after his birth.One of them became very angry as his faith was temporarily shattered. The other focused on their living child while also grieving and they had a bit of struggle trying to understand and accept that their separate ways of grieving was okay, that neither had to give up or change their grieving pattern to appease the other. I've seen this difference in grief often within a couple. It's not wrong, it's normal and natural in their card. I noticed immediately another child that had been born, I'm sure they still grieve the child that didn't live, but it doesn't seem to be stopping them from living and connecting to their life. Now, if you're struggling, then please do seek help. If you're stuck, you can get unstuck, but you may need someone who understands that there's no correct recipe for grief. You simply may need help through compassion and gathering hope. Listener Email: Here's our listener email for today. Hi, Dr. Rutherford. I listened to your podcast many times and I love it. I'm 49. I escaped my mom physically to be leaving Israel 23 years ago. I've done extensive work on myself and now I'm in the process of writing a book. Since my dad passed away three years ago also in Israel, I've been re-experiencing feeling wise, returned anxiety, depression, and I'm not as grounded and solid in my place in life. It's all subjective. I have a great family, friends and a husband, but I feel orphaned and guilty for being a bad daughter to my mom, feeling sort of lonely. I'm in California and would love to connect on better help. She didn't realize I couldn't do that. The book writing is obviously triggering, but at the same time I have to do it. I love writing. So again, this was another message that was sent to me on my email, askdrmargaret@drmargaretrutherford.com and I  invite you to do so. But as I read this, the first analogy that came to mind as this listener was talking about how writing a book, I'm assuming about her struggles as a child in Israel is very triggering for her. Of course it is often when people tell me they don't want to journal, but I might be suggesting it. What they say is, "I don't know what it'll be like to actually see things in black and white." Or I also hear, "What if someone finds it?" The first question I answer by saying they're absolutely correct. It's often difficult to see your feelings on paper to write down the painful experiences you had. It brings them much more to the surface. You bet it's hard. Here's the analogy I've used. So if your memories are held in a big iron soup pod on the stove and they've been simmering very, very slowly for years with the top on, so slowly they've barely even created any steam, but now you're opening the lid and you might get a huge cloud of steam that reflects those experiences and you have a sudden painful reaction, but you leave the lid off and the puddle settle down again, right? It'll go back to a simmer. In fact, you might not be able to smell anything at all when you got a huge whiff when you first opened the pot. But what if you continue to stir the pot with every one of those stirs some of the smells of your past, the emotions and memories that belong to what happened will become stronger. Therapy's almost always about stirring the pot, talking with friends, however you communicated. However you begin to reveal yourself is stirring the pot and journaling, or certainly writing a book is also doing the same thing. But there's one other factor. The death of her father and she doesn't describe their relationship, just says he was also in Israel. But that death may be very symbolically reminding her of the many losses she's experienced, maybe her dad's voice helped her feel that she'd done what she needed to do to protect herself from her mom. Maybe she's simply grieving that her dad is also gone. I'm not sure, but all of this sounds normal to me. Given the circumstance, estranging yourself from a parent or a sibling due to the damaging impact they had on you. When that estrangement is about self-protection, it's complicated. It can be a relief in many ways, but it's very sad as well. I hope this listener goes to better help or a local therapist to get some of the feedback that she seems to need. Outro: Once again, thank you for being here. I wanna remind you we're doing a little giveaway. If you'll leave a review, an actual written review on Apple Podcasts, then I'm gonna choose two of those reviewers to get a book. Marriage is Not for Chickens, and what I'm gonna do, I realize that many of you probably don't even know what I'm talking about. So in a YGTG coming up in just a couple of days, I'll actually read the book to you. It takes about maybe two and a half minutes , it's a little book meant to be a gift or a little anniversary, something special present or a getting married present. And I know we have a lot of following winter weddings coming up, or like I say, just anniversaries. It's a fun little gift. My communications manager, Christine Mathias, who's also this incredible photographer, she and I did it and she did a lot of the pictures and certainly did a lot of the framing of those. And I had a friend from way long ago also contribute to the photography. But the post itself, actually when it was in the Huffington Post, it earned 200,000 views and 50,000 shares. And of course, I didn't get invited on Good Morning America or , any of those. I guess if you're writing about something happy, that doesn't happen, but I'm gonna give away two copies to two people who leave written reviews for the month of September. So have at it. Let me know what you think about SelfWork, whether that's to say, oh, I wish you didn't do this so much, or you know, whatever I really need and want your feedback. Thanks so much and subscribe. Get onto my new website at drmargaretruthford.com. Look around. It's a lot of fun and if you subscribe there, then you'll get my weekly newsletter. That's it, I promise. But it has some interesting things that I'm doing or ideas I have things that you could be a part of on my Facebook page, that's facebook.com/groups/ self-work. Sometimes we get together for discussions, that kind of thing. But all in all, thank you for being here today. Please take very good care of you, of that family you love, and friends that you love, and your community. I'm Dr. Margaret and this has been SelfWork.  

KUBLER ROSS WISDOM: #podcast ON #love #marriage & #relationships by #relationshipexperts #DrRayandJean w/ #relationshipadvice for #couples, we talk about #KublerRoss and her famous quotes on relationships Please subscribe to our podcast and leave us a comment and review. If you have questions, topic suggestions or would like to be considered as guests, email us at contact@couplessynergy.com. For more information about Couples Synergy, look us up online at Couplessynergy.com

Do you wish your healing was faster?Did your world fall apart when you came out of the fog? Are you wondering what comes now you're consciously aware of your trauma? Listen in as Becca shares how she came out of the fog after tragedy and what's helping her heal. An incredibly vulnerable and empowering episode.Becca was born in 1975, adopted at 2 years old and lives in Seattle.Here's a link to the Kubler Ross curve https://www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/change-curve/https://www.rebeccawellington.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccawellington/https://www.instagram.com/_rebecca_wellington/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085186204263

Inspired by a listener's request, today Cinthia discussed how to let go, applying it to various kinds and levels of loss: the loss of something or someone to which we have become attached, someone or something we loved, something for which we hoped, something on which our hearts were set, something to which we so looked forward, something we enjoyed, etc.  How do we move forward when the object of our desire is gone?  The answer is the grief and loss process.  Cinthia begins with John 11:35 in which Jesus weeps at the death of His friend Lazarus.  He stops and takes time for this.  God understands the physical need for tears.  Dr. William of the St Paul-Ramsey Medical Center found that tear composition varies according to the cause of our tears.  Those that stem from emotion differ from irritant-based by containing more protein-based hormones, which are actually natural pain killers, so that emotionally-based tears actually help us heal and to feel better.  When we are willing to cry over the loss, we physically release enzymes from our bodies.  Jesus allowed Himself to cry, and it likely strengthened Him for the work He was about to do.  Cinthia also points out that Lazarus's death likely impacted the entire community and that the faith of some felt shattered since their expectations of Jesus were disappointed.  People were questioning why Jesus didn't heal Lazarus, just as we all struggle when dealing with the living God: why are His ways so different from ours, and how do we trust Him when we don't understand what He is doing? Cinthia encourages us not to minimize our pain, even if our own feelings surprise us.  Grief can blindside us, even when we knew it was coming.  We can't always decide how we are going to feel about something.  We can even be shocked about how much it hurts or how much it affects us.  What one person needs to cry about is different than what another may need to cry about.  We need to honor our own and one another's pain and help each other move through it.  All each of us can do is to be the best version of ourselves while we weep, wail, and fall apart.  Cinthia states, “The enemy of our soul wants us to minimize our pain and maximize our pleasure as a way to thwart the process of a full, rich, and abundant life…. The intention is impeding the process of healing and, thereby, stealing all that is good.”  She also states, “The grief and loss process is important no matter what size the loss is.” Acknowledging our grief is not the same as allowing the pain to become our identity or using it as tacit permission to behave in ways we know are wrong – we still have to do life, and we should help each other continue to move forward.  At the same time that we want to get rid of the pain, we may also have a hard time letting go of the pain since it can seem like the only link we have left to the one or the thing that has been lost.  But this, also, is short-circuiting the acceptance process.  We all want to avoid the pain, not go through it.  We all want to find a different way.  But the only way out of it is through it.  We cannot even “skirt around the edges” of our grief, though we may sometimes need to “dose ourselves” with small steps so we do not become thoroughly overwhelmed. Pain demands a response, regardless of its size, cause, etc.  Some grief processes are small and short, while others last for a lifetime.  God can use all of them for our good, though this does not necessarily mean that He caused the tragedy in order to teach us something, etc.  Cinthia discussed the “weeping and wailing women,” reading from the Message version Jeremiah 9:16 and several verses following.  The weeping and wailing women were to be called to help everyone in the community access their own tears so that they could truly lament and heal.  We do better if we cry together.  The world hardens us, and we help each other cry.  Cinthia discussed Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief (i.e., shock and denial, anger, bargaining, sadness/mourning/depression, and acceptance), maladaptive coping skills that help us avoid or ignore our grief process (e.g., drinking, smoking, overeating/sleeping/watching television, rage, avoidance, addictions/compulsions, aggression, minimizing, rationalizing, lethargy, etc.), roadblocks to processing grief (e.g., not recognizing change has happened, not accepting it, not expecting to have to mourn certain losses, feelings of anger, rejection, guilt, regret, shame over stigma that makes us not want to draw attention to the loss, previous losses that are unresolved, fear of exploring feelings, not wanting to upset or add grief to others, not wanting others to feel bad for us or to increase family pain, complicated grief from prior overdependence so that loss of self occurs with loss of another person, hanging onto grief to avoid the finality of loss, sex roles and cultural conditioning, not knowing how to appropriately grieve), and elements of mourning, which is active participation in the grief and loss process (e.g., acknowledging the reality of the loss, embracing the pain of the loss, needing to remember, and allowing our sense of identity to adjust in a limited way).  She acknowledged that, when loss is deep as in the loss of a cherished loved one, we heal but do not “get over it.”  We are never the same, and, while identity is fixed, we have to accept certain changes in ourselves. Cinthia also discussed forgiveness of whoever or whatever supported the loss; this may be a person, our own body, or even God.  The concept of “forgiving” God is tricky because His ways are right, but we can still “hurt our feelings on Him,” becoming upset because He didn't do what we thought He should or would do.  God knows and understands.  Talk to Him about this.  He wants friendship with you.  “God always gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him.” -Selwyn Hughes. Resisting grief can get us stuck.  It is impossible to rush to acceptance.  “We can't think our way through grief,” stated Cinthia.  We can shelve certain feelings at times to function in life, but we still need to be honest with ourselves about the state of our feelings and thoughts underneath our compartmentalization.  The bigger the loss, the more we may want to ignore it, but the real goal is to effectively manage the stress and pain.  Cinthia shared the poem “Along the Road” by Robert Browning Hamilton and encouraged us to be willing to walk a mile with sorrow.

On this episode of Modern Digital Business, Lee invites Ken to discuss organizational design principles and the importance of aligning teams and leaders to drive desired outcomes. The conversation covers various topics such as the Kubler-Ross change curve, company culture, and the "Valley of Despair" during a migration or transformation projects. They also share practical guidance on implementing Agile methodologies and how to articulate the value of that to higher-ups.This episode announces the new book, Business Breakthrough 3.0, written by Lee Atchison and Ken Gavranovic. Lee and Ken emphasize the importance of effective communication within organizations.QuotesCreating Dynamic Organizations: "If you can really think through those patterns, not only do you build a highly profitable, fast moving organization [...] but it's also a win for the employees, because when you create that kind of dynamic organization, customers love the business, and employees simply love their job."— Ken Gavranovic "Measuring Organizational Improvements: Companies often make one of three mistakes when they determine what data they want to measure. They either measure not enough data, measure too much data, or just measure the wrong things."— Lee AtchisonThe Importance of Instilling Company Values: "If you think about employees that say they're engaged, the quality of work that they do, versus somebody who feels they're just a cog on the wheel, they're just going through the motions. And the efficiencies are night and day at all scales of organizations."— Ken GavranovicThe Power of Subconscious Mentality: "When I think of in our own subconscious minds, the thing that comes to mind the most is when you see commercials for restaurants showing you pictures of food that make you hungry, and you're more likely to spend more money, the more, the hungrier you are."— Lee Atchison "The Importance of Organizational Design: if you have poor organizational design, you're going to have poor results."— Ken Gavranovic"Organizational Structures: If you want to have your organization respond in a certain way, you want to organize it in a way that allows that response to occur."— Lee Atchison The Importance of Instilling Company Values: "If you think about employees that say they're engaged, the quality of work that they do, versus somebody who feels they're just a cog on the wheel, they're just going through the motions. And the efficiencies are night and day at all scales of organizations."— Ken Gavranovic"The Valley of Despair": "But so many companies will actually stop right in the middle of that valley when things are worse than they were before and won't finish their project or won't finish the migration because they've lost track of what they really valued in the migration and frankly, why they started doing it in the first place."— Lee AtchisonQ&A1. What is the importance of organizational design in driving desired outcomes?Answer: Poor organizational design can lead to unhealthy friction and frustration. Therefore, it is important to be intentional about organizational design and set up people processes to drive desired outcomes.2. What are the consequences of lack of alignment between teams and leaders?Answer: Lack of alignment between teams and leaders can cause friction and misalignment in the organization.3. What is the Federated direct line reports center of Practice?Answer: Detailed principles like Federated direct line reports center of Practice can help with organizational design.4. Why should leaders be careful about what they

Yes, all three interests in the title and so much more. Meet Kris Gowen. By any definition, she is a person with varied interests, and a wealth of knowledge that we all can appreciate, and she even has sung Karaoke in all 50 United States. Kris hales from New Jersey originally. She always has liked Drama, but her high school didn't have a drama department until her Senior high school year. Even so, singing has always been a part of her life. During this episode Kris and I have a far-reaching discussion about such things as communications, how do we change some of the conversations inside politics and how we can become more educated about things so we can make better decisions. Kris tells us about her teaching and personal adventures traveling around the world and tells us about lessons she learned along the way. As I said, Kris is an author. She has written books about her Karaoke adventures and she has even written a book about sex education. Her stories about these books are fascinating and worth hearing. I hope you enjoy our time with Kris. She is quite insightful, inspiring, and of course unstoppable. About the Guest: L. Kris Gowen, PhD. is an author and karaoke lover. She has written One Nation Under Song: My Karaoke Journey through Grief, Joy, and America about her epic road trip to sing karaoke in all 50 states (she did fly to Alaska and Hawaii), and Find Your Song: How to Cultivate Pockets of Joy during Times of Grief -- both books are based on her own experiences navigating tough times by holding onto the small joys in life. She has also written Sexual Decisions, a sex education textbook for teens which she is both proud and sad to say is on several banned book lists. In addition to being an author, Kris has a ton of other interests. She has spoken nationally and internationally on healthy relationships and the role of technology in sex and relationships. She is also on the Board of Make You Think, a small non-profit that supports science education and entertainment for adults. Her friends, bar trivia, and travel round out her passions. Kris currently splits her time between Portland and Toronto and earns her keep as a Consultant, supporting organizations in Change Management and Evaluation. She prioritizes applying a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion lens to all her work. She will always say yes to sushi and while she doesn't have a go-to karaoke song, she loves to sing Olivia Newton-John, Donna Summer, and Sia. Links for Kris: Find Your Song: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1736659502/ One Nation Under Song https://www.amazon.com/One-Nation-Under-Song-Karaoke/dp/1087932653/ About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes Michael Hingson  00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i  capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson  01:20 Well, hi again. And yep, it is unstoppable mindset time. Thanks for being here. We really appreciate you. And we appreciate you listening. Today we get to chat with Kris Gowen. Kris has a lot of fun things to talk about. I'll tell you as far as really fun. She is and wants to emphasize a lot during our interview karaoke, and we will but we'll talk about other things as well. And she'll tell us how she has sung karaoke in all 50 states. And I don't know about the moon yet, but something to look forward to. But Kris, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We're really glad you're here.   Kris Gowen  01:57 Thanks so much. And thanks for you. Yeah, thanks for inviting me.   Michael Hingson  02:01 Well, so let's start. Like, I usually like to tell me a little bit about you growing up how you started. And, well, you started like everybody else you got born, but you know, growing up and some of those kinds of things. And what eventually led you to some of the things that you do?   Kris Gowen  02:15 Yeah, so I grew up in New Jersey to Canadian parents, and most of my relatives live in Canada, in split between a couple provinces. So I, I'm outside of New York City. So which as opposed to mountain lakes, okay.   Michael Hingson  02:37 All right. So I lived in Westfield for six years. Okay, great.   Kris Gowen  02:41 Yeah, it's a very tiny little town around it. So it was a sort of good public school system, often used to have, you know, where people would commute to New York City from and yeah, just people working. But yeah, it was it was small and lovely. But sadly, because it was so small. While I was in high school, there was no drama department until my senior year. But the only I'd loved singing, I just love singing, I can't remember a time where I didn't love singing. And I'm sure you know, ever, you know, I'm sure at some point, it just sort of evolved. But I would sing in the church choir a little bit. And that was like the sort of reason for me to even go to church early on, because I wasn't really religious and, and then would just sing any chance I got and would sing along to the radio and tape songs and sing those and just do all that kind of stuff. And then finally, I got a chance to sing. I was Snoopy, and you're Good Man, Charlie Brown my senior year in high school and really liked doing that. And from there, it's like I said, I just have love to sing no matter no matter what comes my way.   Michael Hingson  04:03 When I was a freshman in high school, I was in the the Glee class. And one of the things that they did was schedule and start doing work to try to get people to appear in a mall and the night visitors, and I tried out for it. The problem was I said that although I could sing high enough because my voice hadn't changed. I wasn't quite loud enough, so I didn't get the part. Darn it, but it was was fun.   Kris Gowen  04:36 Yeah, oh, yeah. Loud has never been my problem. If there's anything it's like trying to tone it down a little bit. So I have the opposite problem that you do when it comes to tempo goals.   Michael Hingson  04:47 Well, I think the issue really was that a guy would have a hard time in general getting a so it was a girl who eventually got the part anyway. Yeah, which wasn't a surprise. was a little disappointing. But on the other hand, we did go to see it when it was actually performed. And there's nothing like live performances anyway, whether it's even a high school performance or a college or we, we actually when we lived in Mission Viejo, California, my wife and I had neighbors who were Mormons, and they had a number of performances that they put on every year. And they did a wonderful job of Oklahoma and there's just nothing like live performance.   Kris Gowen  05:29 Yeah, I agree. And I I have a very good friend here in Portland, Oregon, that is a drama teacher for in high school, and I tried to go see as many of their shows as I can. And other friends that perform here and there and certain musical reviews or things like that, and I do love supporting them, because they're my friends. And also just because it's super enjoyable to to hear the live performances.   Michael Hingson  05:56 We were very fortunate when Jerry Lewis starred as Mr. Applegate the devil in Damn Yankees, we were living in New York, and it was his only time ever appearing on Broadway. They did a wonderful interview about it, but we got to actually see him, which was really cool. That's fantastic. He did a great job. So you went through high school and all that in New Jersey? And then what did you do with your world,   Kris Gowen  06:18 I went to college in California and discovered I'm much more of a West coaster than an east coaster and spent did some my undergraduate in California and then I went back east for like three months to see if I could make it back over there. And I was in New York for a little bit and trying to work in the TV industry. And that didn't work out at all. And so three months later, I went back to the effect of California, and then spent a little bit more time there. And then I went back to the east coast for a year to get a master's degree. And then I came back to California to get a PhD in child and adolescent development. And then I moved up to Portland, Oregon, in 2000. And pretty much I've stayed here almost through I just move back actually, I spent a year and a half in Toronto. And we'd like to figure out a way to get back there. So I think that's my flavor of east coast that I like ultimately,   Michael Hingson  07:24 so nice city. Yeah, I really enjoyed. I enjoyed some time in Toronto. So yeah, what was your major in college?   Kris Gowen  07:33 Communications, film and television. And that's when I learned that I am a horrible filmmaker. And really, I just cannot put together a I can't edit Well, I can't do anything. It was just something that I thought I would really love doing. And I did enjoy it. But I was just very bad at it. And so. So after you figure that out, where do you major in something that you really don't have a lot of skill in? You know, you need to be like, Oh, now what do I do? So yeah, so I managed to bakery for a little while, and then that's when I started, then getting my master's degree and then also my PhD in child and adolescent development for the most part, and started working with youth and young adults, as well as writing for youth and young adults in the sex ed world. And so that's where I really got a stronghold there. But I then I started using my research and my research skills more broadly to support community based organizations in their evaluation program evaluation efforts. I mean, this is kind of nerdy and boring, but I love it. I really love using data in ways that are really applied and that are accessible to whoever wants to know the numbers and things like that. And it's, it can be a pretty big challenge and I really love it.   Michael Hingson  08:54 So even though you like to sing and so on, you didn't decide to try to go off and do music as a study and as a as a possible major. Hmm.   Kris Gowen  09:04 You know, it really never occurred to me that that would be an option. Um, I never really felt and saw myself as a good singer, I'd say until just the last couple of years. So I you know, would audition for things I wouldn't necessarily get parts I still love to sing so I would still sing I knew I wasn't awful awful, but I I never really saw any form of musical career being a possibility you know, really at all so you know, thank goodness for places like karaoke where, you know, one of the reasons I love it is because it's got so much unexpected pneus in it. And another reason is it's such a supportive community like it's one of the few places that you can do, like awful at and people will still completely cheer you. Yeah.   Michael Hingson  09:56 And there's no pressure no which is which is cool. I was telling someone yesterday we were listening to Joe Stafford, you know who she is? Or was, she was a singer in the 40s and 50s and had perfect pitch. And you talk about doing bad Joe Stafford recorded a whole album once, where she sang a half a note off key just to prove she could. And so the whole album, right is her a half note off key because she had perfect pitch to be able to do that.   Kris Gowen  10:31 Right? Which is it is very hard to sing. Right? Purposely off key when you've got all this music happening around you and you just sounds so wrong.   Michael Hingson  10:41 Yeah. It came out. Alright, the album was I don't know how much it sold, it was fairly popular. As I recall. I just heard about it, having been done, but I believe as I recall that it was popular enough because it was Joe Stafford to who was a pretty famous person back and singing in the 50s. And so on. Probably her most famous song was the song you belong to me, you know, see the pyramids along the Nile and all that. And she was the main person, or the person who's made that song most famous, although a lot of other people have done it. But what got you into? Well, first of all, where did you go to school in California?   Kris Gowen  11:22 I went to school at Stanford, both for my undergraduate and my PhD.   Michael Hingson  11:27 Oh, cool. couldn't stay away from the football team out from the cardinal   Kris Gowen  11:31 height. I know, I know if Shaw being no longer being the coach. Yeah, no. So there is I mean, when I was there, actually, Stanford did have a couple of stints of doing okay. But for the most part, it was definitely not some of Stanford's glory years when I was when I was on campus.   Michael Hingson  11:48 But it's a wonderful school.   Kris Gowen  11:51 Yeah, yeah, I was just back there the other like, a couple months ago, and, you know, barely recognizing it as everything grows. But yeah, so yeah, decided that, California. And again, like I said, the west coast was really for me. And so I've spent a little bit of time, both in California and Oregon.   Michael Hingson  12:09 So what got you into child development and deciding to do that as a, as a career and as a major? Oh, yeah. So   Kris Gowen  12:17 I, you know, so I had my failed, I failed attempt at trying to be in, in the television world. And so tail between my legs, I went back to California, where my, my social circle was, like my support network, and I, I managed a bakery. And just to make, you know, make ends meet and just sort of regroup. And this was during the era where there was a lot of debate on condoms, whether they should be in schools or not. And you know, and the science, like any research study basically said that if you provide condoms in schools, it does not increase the rate of engaging in sexual activities among kids. And it but it does increase safer sex practices. So I saw I knew this literature, and I knew the research because, well, I'll back up a little bit but but, you know, Congress and other other politicians were basically ignoring the science and, and just making laws that had nothing to do with anything grounded in evidence. And I just got very annoyed with that I would throw socks at the television anytime there was like a newscast about it. And I was like, that does it, I'm gonna go back to school and get fancy letters after my name. So I can write curricula and do these things. And, and so related to that was really, I went into film and television, because I wanted to make documentaries. From the standpoint, like from the viewpoint of youth, I wanted to do things about social issues. And that was really what was driving me because I really felt like that the whole educational system was teaching us about things that didn't matter, right, like a very typical adolescent attitude of like, what's the point of learning all of this, this is dumb, we should be learning other things. And so I was like, I know I'm gonna make important movies about social issues, and that I learned that I could not make movies at all. I just took that passion and kind of turned it into something slightly different that still allowed me to focus on issues that matter to youth and young adults.   Michael Hingson  14:35 How about collaborating however, so you didn't make you? You weren't great at making the movies did you ever explore collaborating with good movie makers and maybe helping to create the scripts and the topics and all that or have you not gotten that far yet?   Kris Gowen  14:48 It was funny because I didn't think of doing that because I just thought like, it was going to be that just really hard to break into right. So as I was working in television for the three months that I worked, it's Just like the whole competitiveness and things, and I just didn't really, I didn't really have the good networking skills, and I didn't have those things. And I just really found myself again drawn to okay, what's the what's the evidence? And? And how are we going to do like create these best practices, and that was really more suited to sort of look into those things, not from a mass media standpoint, but really more from a research standpoint, but then also, from supporting these so many programs that are out there that are doing great things.   Michael Hingson  15:34 You know, what comes to mind, though, immediately, is, as you were talking about, the politicians go off and do the things they do they ignore reality, and so on. How do we deal with that? I suppose one answer is we got to elect other people. But how do we get enough people to do that, that we get intelligent people in Congress and so on? But how do we start to truly change the dialogue? Because it it gets to be so frustrating, when when they totally ignore the politics and they stir up so many people to do that? Yeah, well,   Kris Gowen  16:07 I mean, one, one piece of this is like, I can't imagine being a politician in the sense of you have to make decisions about everything, like you like, so there's sex ed policy, there's forestry, there's electric cars, there's tax laws, whatever, like you're supposed to have an opinion on all these different things. How the heck are you? expert in all these things? Right. So   Michael Hingson  16:35 go ahead. Well, I say that's, of course, the real issue. Do you really have to have opinions on everything? Or do you use it as an opportunity to learn and then vote based on what you learned? But anyway, go ahead.   Kris Gowen  16:49 Well, right. But I agree with that would be ideal, but there's only so many hours in the day, if you're literally like trying to figure out how to and then so right, so the US has lobbyists and and then lobbyists have agendas, and some are better funded than others. So there's that. And then also you listen to, you know, your constituents, because you want to get reelected. And so different moral values, and different, just values in general are infused into different segments of, of our population, and, and so then you start to go the direction that you believe will get you reelected, or you go in the direction of this lobbyists that's giving you the information that you think you need, and maybe it's good information, and maybe it's less grounded in evidence, it's, it's so complicated to just sort of say, Oh, well, they should just listen to the science. It's like, Yeah, but they got to listen to the science on like, 700 topics. And I'm guessing that I'm not even exaggerating when it comes to that. And   Michael Hingson  17:48 they do. But in reality, a lot of what goes on with the politicians is really, the accomplishments of the staff and the staff advises them, yes, the politicians vote. But I guess my point really is having spent a lot of time around Washington and dealing with Congress and, and educating them on issues with disabilities and so on. A lot of the time, it's really educating the staff, or trying to educate the staff. So the staff really controls a lot of what the actual legislator hears and sees. So it still gets back to they're not necessarily the experts that we might think they are. They rely on staff. And that also means maybe they need to do a little bit better job of hiring smart staff. But as I said, it's also that they oftentimes stir up their constituents, which is a problem.   Kris Gowen  18:45 Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes.   Michael Hingson  18:47 It's a mess. It's a challenge. I don't envy anybody who does it. I agree with you. But I think also there are, there are more things that we could do to to have a more substantive discussion about a lot of stuff. And and it seems like we're really losing that opportunity, or at least we're losing the perspective of having meaningful conversations, compared to what it used to be like 40 and 50 years ago.   Kris Gowen  19:17 Yeah, yes, there's definitely more of a I mean, there's lots of explanations. And again, these are sort of, I mean, we're, we've, like, whatever, five minutes into this podcast, we're launching into like, some of the country's biggest challenges and I write, I definitely don't have answers for them. And I don't think anybody does at this point, because it's not going to be simple. It's so many different things that are happening that are coming together at a time that is creating, yeah, these like strong divides between between some types of values. And at the same time, I do think that there are commonalities that are there. It's just that we're very much entrenched, right? Now in, you know, being more drawn to difference than we are to similarity and common ground.   Michael Hingson  20:06 Yeah. And I think that's a theme that a lot of people who think about it get to, which is, we're focusing too much on differences and not commonalities and finding ways to work together. But you went off and you got your PhD and came back to Stanford to do that. And then what did you do with your life?   Kris Gowen  20:26 I ended up working a little bit in so I was in I'm trying to remember, this is a very long time ago, I didn't realize I was gonna have to go through my whole biography. That's all good. I just was like, What did I do after that? I, I was doing some research, I've really always been drawn to not being a traditional academic. So I've been research faculty at a couple of universities, I've worked, like I said, in sort of the nonprofit sector for a little bit. Some of it had to do with youth and young adults, some of it dealt more with health care in general. And so yeah, just been, you know, going where my passions were taking have taken me and I really liked that. That's how I've done things. Sometimes it's frustrating to be like to look at myself, some days, I'm like, Why did I just not choose an easy path or just like, you know, become an academic and stay in a place and just keep going. And I just sort of learned that just has to stop my nature, I just can't stay in one place for too long. Whether that's, you know, career ideas, or whether it's a physical location, I just really always been drawn to making sure that what I'm doing matters, and making sure what I'm doing. supports other other people.   Michael Hingson  21:54 can't do much better than that. Hmm.   Kris Gowen  21:56 Well, not I don't know. I mean, also, I just, you know, I know there's I'm sure there's many ways I can do better. And this is what I got.   Michael Hingson  22:04 Oh, that's okay. So did you go into teaching? Or what did you go into doing?   Kris Gowen  22:08 I did, I taught, I taught at Portland State University. For a while I taught human sexuality. I taught women's reproductive health, I taught a handful of other courses, but those were the two main ones. And then I was what's called research faculty. So again, I had a research portfolio that focused on youth and young adults, both in terms of healthy relationships, safer sex, as well as mental health. So I did that. And then I got tired of doing that. And so I took the opportunity to do some traveling for a couple of years where I was in a, you know, would stay in various countries for several, you know, for several months, and explore and really get to know different communities and different cultures and, and really appreciated that time, I taught some, taught some English and taught some research methods. And a couple of different I taught in Vietnam, I did some tutoring in South Korea, my student teaching was in Vietnam. And then I taught in Oman, which is in the Middle East. And all of that took around not quite two years to do that. And then I settled back up to being in an academic institution, again, in Oregon, and then, yeah, and then I, then the pandemic it, and everything went sideways. And that's what allowed me to take that time and reflect and decide, you know, I want to move to Toronto at some point in my life. So I, I, you know, got my paperwork in order and went up there and work there for a little bit. And now I'm back in Oregon, where my social support network is, and I'm doing some consulting work.   Michael Hingson  23:56 So now you're kind of on your own. Do you have have you formed your own company? Or what?   Kris Gowen  24:00 I do some independent consulting in that I also work for a large business management consulting firm as well.   Michael Hingson  24:08 What do you do for them?   Kris Gowen  24:10 Some change management work, as well as I'm currently supporting a new a new artificial intelligence, language processing, natural language processing tool, which is basically just something that would help help people analyze a lot of qualitative data as opposed to doing it all by hand. Because if you've got like a large organization, or if you've got, you know, for example, a large number of tweets or something and you want to make meaning of them, and there's literally 1000s of them. Typical qualitative research methods just can't really capture that data with any form of efficiency. So it's an interesting dance between humans and machine to help make the process more efficient. So I'm looking into supporting that, that that work?   Michael Hingson  25:08 Do you use a tool that we would have heard of? No,   Kris Gowen  25:11 use a tool that is proprietary of the organization I'm working for. And it's, it's still we're still in soft launch? So no, I haven't I'm not using a tool that anyone else is really, I mean, other than internally, a few of us are being trained up on this to help to help support its utilization in house.   Michael Hingson  25:32 I know, there's been some discussion over the last few weeks about the stuff that Microsoft is doing to do text analysis and be able to do everything from composing poetry to having conversations with AI. Yes. I have not played with that yet. Although I guess I should explore it. People have asked me and I haven't really done that. So that's one of the things that I get to do when I take a little bit of time and, and don't do interviews for a day or two. But so that's, that's, that's all pretty cool. Well, you, you've done some writing, you wrote a book, I believe on sex education, right?   Kris Gowen  26:10 Yeah, I did. I wrote a book called mimicking or they retitled it. So its first iteration was called Making sexual decisions. And then it just became sexual decisions. And it's sort of a, it's a textbook and like a library book for teens. And what made that unique, was it really balanced? It was about 5050, on healthy relationships versus sort of the the anatomy and sexual health components. So books tended to either lean towards one or the other. And so I wrote that. And then like I said, it had a couple of additions to it. And then, you know, it becomes sexuality education becomes really outdated very quickly. And so the book is, I think the last iteration of it was 2018, I think was when the the last edition of that was really published. But somehow, Congress is founded and has put it onto some banned book lists. Because it, I guess, it says things that they don't want it to say. So my friends made me a t shirt that says, you know, my book was banned, not like, you know, kind of selling a stinking t shirt. So yeah, and so I wrote that. And then yeah, the other two books that I've written since then, one was about my karaoke journey. And then the other was somewhat related to that, but was looking at the importance of finding joy during times of grief, because the first book about my karaoke journey, singing in all 50 states was really about me, processing the loss of my best friend. So those books, you know, they're certainly not sequels of each other, anything like that. But they're they, you know, there's a tie in there with the joy that karaoke brings me and how it really, I think, helps my mental health and just encouraging people to either find joy in karaoke, or whatever it is that they can find happiness in, during really, really tough times.   Michael Hingson  28:21 Well, I do want to get to that. But I've got another question that you just made me think of, as you said that there have been several iterations of your your book on sex education, and they become out of date very quickly, why is that? What, what really causes the shift that makes it come out? It will go out of date and need to Yeah,   Kris Gowen  28:39 I mean, there's a lot of things like the from between, like, I'll just give an example between the first the second edition, the HPV vaccine came out, right? So like, that's a whole thing. So, and then other ways that we talk about consent? I think, you know, so this is this is not necessarily in the iterations of my book, but we start like, when I was in high school, and even when I was in college, the idea of consent was very heteronormative. In other words, it was very assumed that it was going to be a boy and a girl negotiating sexual activity and it was up to the girl to be the gatekeeper to say no. And then and it was really up to the girl to make sure that that's the way it was. And now we've evolved so much more than in our consent language. First of all, we've dissolved like we're working on dissolving the gender binary, we can't assume the genders of the people that are wanting to engage in sexual activity we can assume who might be wanting to say no, versus another person who might be more interested. And then there's also the concept of teaching kids how to hear a no and how to make sure they're hearing a yes, so the onus isn't placed on On the person who is less interested in engaging in a certain type of activity, so there's so much on that. And then again, sort of talking about the ways we talk about gender identity and sexual orientation evolve very quickly. So if we want to be inclusive, and reach all young people in, in getting, you know, providing them with knowledge, things change really fast.   Michael Hingson  30:25 Do you see other kinds of changes that are coming?   Kris Gowen  30:31 I mean, yes, because gender identity and sexual orientation are still evolving in terms of how we're discussing those things. And I didn't even mention technic, the role of technology, and how that's escalating, right? There's always different apps that are being used, there's always different ways to communicate, and what are the most common ways that young youth and young adults prefer to communicate. So all of that is very, all of that is continuing to evolve. And I think a lot of that is still evolving. I'm hoping that our conversations about like I said, consent, and gender identity and sexual orientation, and just relationship structure, and things. I think all of that I'm really hoping continue to evolve and start to become more gray, as it were, that we don't have the sort of hard and fast rules, but instead really encourage listening and respect and communication and teaching people how to think about what matters to them, and then communicating that and feeling comfortable communicating that to somebody else that they might want to be with   Michael Hingson  31:47 and accepting the responses that come whatever they may be.   Kris Gowen  31:51 Exactly. And that's part of the communication and listening piece. Yeah.   Michael Hingson  31:55 Well, so you have been doing all of this, which is great. And you've been doing karaoke. How did you get started originally with karaoke? What? What made you decide that that was something that would be fun to do?   Kris Gowen  32:09 Well, I mean, it's it sort of comes back to when I was a kid and just loving to sing no matter what. And so the first time I sang karaoke was actually in Arizona. And I don't remember what year this is, but it was in there was sometime in the 90s. But I do remember being like being in a bar after I'd like I was visiting a friend of mine, and we were, we just played a softball game. And now we're in a bar, and there's singing, and it's like, Well, wait, what's this magic, I can put a song in, and then they're gonna call my name, and then I get to sing. This is the best thing I've ever heard was was the best thing ever. And then, and that first time was a total disaster. I mean, I picked a song that I picked hearts alone, which first of all, no one wants to hear that in a bar, like no one needs to hear that right. And then I left the big note. I mean, it was just a disaster. But I was super happy about it. I was just like, This is great. And then, and then when I went to get my Masters on the East Coast, I didn't know anybody. And so one of the things I did was just sort of became a local at one of the nearby bars, and they had karaoke every Wednesday, I think it was. And so I just went every Wednesday as my chance and something I always just would look forward to. And I would just be like, I'm going to sing a couple songs and be able to do this thing. And it gets to see like the same people over and over again. And it's just this wonderful, magical experience. And then so from there on out, I just started to look for karaoke bars, wherever I was. And just yeah, just kept singing as a key component of my, my mental health and just general fun.   Michael Hingson  33:58 We bought a timeshare at the Lawrence Welk Resorts in Escondido, California in the early 90s. Got a great deal. And they had karaoke on I think it was Saturday nights. And I'm not sure whether that was the first time I did it. But it probably was. One of the things that they did a couple of times is there were people who came and they did it enough that they actually let them take an hour and do a whole karaoke concert.   Kris Gowen  34:25 Wow. Which hopefully they knew that because then the people who came just to sing a song or two are like, wait, I have to wait an hour.   Michael Hingson  34:33 Oh, it worked out. Yeah, they they always advertise it ahead of time. But also, they started earlier and they actually started like an hour early so people can come to hear the concert and then the regular karaoke time. Started at the usual time.   Kris Gowen  34:47 Oh, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, that's yeah, it   Michael Hingson  34:49 was it was it was wonderful. And so and you did even with a concert here, some people who will let's just say did better than others. Okay. Yeah, that's okay.   Kris Gowen  35:01 It is. I mean, I love that part of community. And I really think that that's, you know, I've alluded to it before, but karaoke is yes, of course, I love to sing. And I love, you know, like, singing in front of people, I think that adds an extra joy to it for me. I mean, some people, it's their living hell, but you know, that's okay. Because that's what variety and life is for. So, I love that aspect. And I love when a person gets called to the microphone, and I don't know who that person is, and I have no idea what they're gonna sing. You can't tell by looking at a person with their song selection is going to be an end. Like, I just love all of that. And then I love going to a, you know, going to a karaoke venue, like regularly and then getting to know those people and just feeling that support and giving that support to people who are being really brave by just stepping out and singing a song in front of others.   Michael Hingson  35:59 Oh, since that first time, have you ever done hearts alone again? Oh, yeah. Okay.   Kris Gowen  36:03 Oh, yeah. And also, anytime I really now it's sort of funny anytime I think I'll know a song and then I don't sing it very well. I am like that does it? And I like, really, you know, we'll all focus on it. I can't say that I, when it comes to, you know, bar karaoke, singing, I don't really rehearse per se. But I will like, listen to the song a couple of times. So I actually, you know, know it,   Michael Hingson  36:29 know, the melody at least, do you? Do you read the words most of the time? Or do you try to memorize words ahead of time?   Kris Gowen  36:36 Well, I mean, I like to, it's a good question, because there's a couple of things. One is I like to do a bunch of new stuff a lot. And so I, I do enjoy, therefore, rely, like, being able to read the words and reading the words. And then also, I do find that oftentimes, I then end up using them as a crutch, like, I don't actually need them. But I still look at the screen. And then, however, I've also been dabbling here and there in competitive karaoke. And when you do competitive karaoke, you 100% cannot look at the words like you just you have to engage the audience. And you have to be doing that. And there's no looking at words, when you're, when you're doing that kind of that kind of competition,   Michael Hingson  37:27 you have no way to really put the feeling into it that you do if you already know the words, because you're focused on the words, you're not focused on what you need to be focused on. And that makes sense.   Kris Gowen  37:40 Yeah, your storytelling doesn't get as good. You're like, again, your audience connection isn't as good. You can't, you know, I mean, depending on how many monitors are there, but it's also difficult to, you know, go to different parts of the stage to to talk to, you know, sort of, quote, unquote, talk to different people in different parts of the room. So you really need to not be tethered to the screen. Yeah, in order to do some of those things, to help create a better performance.   Michael Hingson  38:11 I remember once doing karaoke with someone, and they wanted to perform a song and I didn't know all the words to do the melody and all that. And actually, the operator of the system stood next to me. And because I told him, I don't know all the words, he said, don't worry. And he told me the words far enough in advance that I was able to go ahead and put it together, which was really pretty cool. And then actually, it came out pretty well. I wish we'd recorded it, but I don't even remember what the song was. But it was fun to be able to do that. And but for me, I do memorize and practice, before I go only so that I make sure I really do know all the words because it's the only way that I'm going to be able to do it successfully, but it makes it a lot more fun to, to be able to, as you said, connect with the audience in one way or another. Well, and   Kris Gowen  38:59 it's funny too, because I appreciate, you know, you needing to, like, you know, memorize the lyrics in advance. And sometimes the lyrics that show up on the screen are definitely not the right lyrics. Like, you look at them and you're like, um, that is really not what I think this person is saying. And, and so, you know, sometimes the the lyrics are incorrect on these in these karaoke tracks.   Michael Hingson  39:24 So yeah, which is, which is another whole issue that one has to deal with, but you know, it's it's still is a lot of fun to do. And I've enjoyed it. What's the for you the most rewarding or the thing you love most about doing karaoke?   Kris Gowen  39:42 I mean, I really do think it's this this piece of, of community that even if you're only in a like in like, again, when I was going around the US and singing karaoke in all 50 states wherever I was hanging my had that night that was sort of that was my community for the night. And again, it's a very supportive community, and people are cheering each other and people will potentially, you know, strike up a conversation with you. And it is like, you know, when we were talking about the politics stuff at the start of this conversation, you don't know somebody's political affiliation, you don't know, like, you know, who they go home to at night, if anybody you don't know, you just don't know really anything about them. And it's okay, like, we're just, everyone's united. And I mean, my books called One nation under song, in part for that reason, because you really do become this community of humans. And there's a lot of magic in that to then sort of forget about some of the other things that might make you not friends. Outside of that setting.   Michael Hingson  40:53 What are some songs that don't make good Karaoke Songs? Or maybe a better way to put it is what makes the best Karaoke Songs?   Kris Gowen  41:00 Yeah. So the first one is like if it's super long if there's a lot of long instrumentals. And then And then usually, I mean, not always, but if it's way too slow. I mean, because most karaoke is done in bars. And most karaoke is done late at night. And so, the idea of singing something super long, was super long, instrumentals and slow. Like you just no one wants to, like, people want their turn and people want to like go to a bar to feel probably usually a little peppier. So it's like those things. So. But that said, it's not necessarily the flip side is what makes a good karaoke song. A good karaoke song is the song that's in your heart is a song that matters to you is the song that you want to sing because it is the song you want to sing. Because you can tell when people are singing the song that's bringing them joy. It's, you can just tell and it just becomes a funner performance.   Michael Hingson  42:04 I think I mentioned when we chatted before doing this interview about the time we were at Lawrence Welk and it was near the end of the night and one of the servers got up and just started singing from the best little whorehouse in Texas hard candy Christmas. Yes. And did the most incredible performance of that I think I've ever heard outside of and maybe is, is equal to what was in the the musical or the movie. But clearly, she had sung it before, and just in a really wonderful job with it and got a great reaction from the audience.   Kris Gowen  42:41 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, again, some people are gonna want to sing the same song over again, and have it be very rehearsed. And there's nothing wrong with that, because that's what makes that person feel comfortable, or the side of them that they want to show. And so I do know, people that sing, you know, a very small repertoire of songs. And that's where they that's again, that's where their comfort is, that's what they want to do. And then I have other friends who are just more like, it's a bar, no one's really listening to me. I just want to sing something that that I want to try, or I you know, again, that's the song that I was singing to on the radio, and I was like, oh, I want to give it a whirl myself. Right. Like, there's just sort of those things. And then, you know, every day is a different mood, and it's a different time. And so what is the song that's calling to at that particular time? And that's, you know, what I when people will turn to me and say, What should I sing? I'm like, Well, what were you Yeah, what were you singing to on the radio? The last time you were listening to the radio, or what did you find yourself? Singing in the shower? The last time I was doing this? Well sing that.   Michael Hingson  43:49 So from a long song standpoint, probably. You wouldn't want to go much longer than Don McLean's American Pie, but at least it's a fast tempo song.   Kris Gowen  43:58 Yeah, but yeah, American Pie. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's like seven minutes, right? I mean, there is a radio edit and a karaoke edit of that song. So, but yes, like American Pie. Piano Man is even really long. I mean, sometimes people can get into it. But like, if it's over five minutes, you're just like, Yeah, I don't know.   Michael Hingson  44:16 It's getting a little bit. It can be a little bit tougher, right? There is   Kris Gowen  44:21 no hard and fast rule. I mean, no. Do you have the bar, there's nobody in that bar, I will bust out Come Sail Away, which breaks all the rules. It's too long. It's got like over a minute, instrumental in it, all that stuff, but it's a fun song. And I'm only singing it if there's like a very small rotation of singers.   Michael Hingson  44:39 Yeah, yeah. But if people enjoy it, it works. Sure. Sure. So. So how did you get involved in thinking of this idea of singing karaoke in all 50 states, you would love to travel so that gave you a good excuse for doing it. But how did that all come about?   Kris Gowen  44:59 Yeah, I mean, The the the slow roll of it was I can't I think there was just one day that I noticed that I was starting to collect states because I again, as an as a former academic, I would go to a lot of conferences. And so sometimes you network in the conferences, and then sometimes you're just sort of like, you know what I don't want to network in a conference, I want to go out on this, I want to see what St. Louis is like, or I want to see what, you know, Tampa, Florida is like, and so you find the karaoke establishment, and you go there to get a little like dose of local flavor of a place. And so I don't know, I had collected maybe nine or 10 states just sort of doing it that way. And then. And then in 2015, my best friend was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. And I had a good year with her not quite a year, but you know, and when she died, I was like, she and I used to also sing together a lot. And I just, I just kind of was at a loss, for lack of anything else, just like, I couldn't really imagine a life without her I. And so I quit my job. And I drove around the country to say, All right, if my goal is to sing karaoke in all 50 states, I'm doing it this weird trickle, you know, when else am I gonna get to Oklahoma? When else am I going to do? Like, I need to, I need to do this, I need to do this as an actual thing. And so I did, I got in my car. And I drove over 17,000 miles in 99 days to hit the 48 lower states. I took I avoided freeways and interstates whenever possible, because I wanted to actually see the country. And so when I was done, you know, I had a couple months in between, but then I picked up Alaska and Hawaii. So make it off. 50.   Michael Hingson  47:05 So you are clearly grieving? How did this really help your grief?   Kris Gowen  47:12 In a lot of different ways. And not intentionally mind you? I just was following my, you know, to me, I'm like, what is the one that I didn't really like my job at the time? I you know, I didn't my relationship situation wasn't great. And so I was like, the one thing that still I could find anything to care about was karaoke. It was the only thing that I cared about. That was it. And so I'm like, alright, well, that's something that's good. I'm finding joy in something. And so again, I got in my car and just took off. And the things that made this trip really good for my grief, I think were one singing really helps emotional processing, it helps you get your feelings out, it does all that there was structure to my days, but not too much of a structure. Like I had, I knew that on, you know, I woke up in one state. And I knew that I needed to get to this other state by a certain time. And I had a lot of alone time. I didn't do the whole trip by myself. But I did a lot of the trip by myself. So I had time in a car to sort of just again, let myself feel and let myself exist. I was constantly seeing new things, which is another great brain exercise for building resilience is to experience new things. And yeah, I just, I think this combination of like structured but not too structured, seeing new things, being able to use my emotions and channel them in ways that I enjoy and finding that like one slice of joy that would help me balance it just was a very good way for me to just allow myself to experience what I needed to experience.   Michael Hingson  49:03 Did you well rephrase that, do you think that you benefited more from doing the karaoke, or that you've benefited more from doing the travel spending time alone? Having a lot of time to think and process?   Kris Gowen  49:21 I mean, I think it's the balance. And I think that's the key to and so like, sort of, in my second book, which is find your song, it's, it's the whole concept of that book is is balancing moments of joy during times of grief. Because we need the balance. You know, like ultimately your body needs a balance your your brain needs a balance that when you provide yourself with the respite of moments of joy during an awful, awful time of life, you're actually allowing yourself to grieve better, you're allowing your body to to have those breaks it It physically needs in order to, to recover. Because grief is impacts us physically, emotionally, mentally. And so if we're always, you know, quote unquote, in it, like just stuck in the, you know, we do need to be in it sometimes I mean, not everybody and and, and I was a person who needed to be in it sometimes. But if I was just always in it, then that was not, that would not be good.   Michael Hingson  50:30 What would you advise a person to do? Or how would you advise a person who is experiencing grief? What kinds of things would you say to them?   Kris Gowen  50:42 I mean, again, it's sort of again, it's like my, I mean, my book almost outlines, like a bit of a, I'm not gonna say a script, because there is no script. I think the first like, the first chapter is basically like, there is no brief script. So if you think, and also, if you think, you know, you're like, Well, I've lost somebody before, or I've grieved before. Yeah, but this is a different person, and you're a different person, because it's a different time. So you can't be like, Oh, I was like this, when this happened. Now I'm going to I'm going to be the same way, it's just not going to happen. So your grief and your grief experience in the moment is yours. And so to allow your emotions in, allow them to be. And again, don't be afraid, and don't be ashamed if you're experiencing some positive times in amongst the negative. And really being, if you can, being mindful of what are little things you can do to promote self care and to get the supports that you need. And so if you've got that one student, like you're like, the only joy I'm getting right now is watching this television show. Fine, then go for it. If your joy is karaoke, if it's knitting, if it's making Chinese food, I don't know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how silly it seems. It's not silly, because it's it's, it's your it's your your sister being pointing you in a direction of some form of a finding a little bit of pleasure and a life where it might be hard, and you can't even see any form of pleasure at all, except for quote, unquote, this stupid thing. And this stupid thing is it's not stupid. It's,   Michael Hingson  52:25 it's what's important for you at the moment, and you're right, there's, there's no reason to think that anything is stupid. What I think is important is thinking about it and internalizing it to the point where you can, at some point, start to think about, okay, I'm doing this, I'm really enjoying it. I don't want to stop doing it. But how do I also continue then to move forward? I know when my wife passed away, last month to be well, and November, I started saying, like, a number of people always say, Well, you know, you got to move on. And I realized that was the wrong thing to say. Because if you move on, that it to me, it seems like it implies almost that you're possibly forgetting. But what I realized the appropriate thing, at least for me to say is, we do need to move forward. And she would want that.   Kris Gowen  53:18 Yeah, yes, I mean, the language, language does matter. And everyone's going to resonate with a certain way. So some people like you're saying move forward resonated with you. Some people are like, move through that we're different. I mean, you're you're different. You, you experienced a profound loss, and I'm sorry for your loss. And there is like, so you are now a different person. And so it's like, okay, who's this new? Who is this new, Michael? And how does this new Michael want to navigate through through the universe, and for a little while, you might be like, oh, and navigate through this universe at all, and other people have ideas. Because sometimes the grief and the loss is more expected than others. So some people have done some anticipatory grief or is like some, some preparing and other times, the universe does not provide us with that opportunity to sort of think about life without that person   Michael Hingson  54:17 whose case it was kind of half and half. I wouldn't say that it was totally unexpected, but not as fast as it it occurred. And also, no matter how much you expect it. It's really different when it's occurred, and now you are actually in a different space, in my case alone. So there there are things I do differently. And sometimes I wonder why am I doing it differently? And I realized, well, that's because now it's the way it is so I wake up earlier, I turn the TV on when I get up in the morning and Karen always used to get up much later than ice. I'd never turned the TV on until we I go out In the other room and close the door. So a lot of things that are different, but it's also okay. And I'm sure it will evolve some more over time. But I happen to be a person that likes to continue to move. And I get the joy, I will say, of doing this podcast, which is so much fun. And I get to learn so much, though all of all of the time that I get to spend with you and others is such an enjoyable thing for me. And it's been that way ever since the beginning of the podcast, but it's so much better even now.   Kris Gowen  55:34 Yeah, and it's, I mean, it's, again, it's, it's some connection that you're getting for a little bit of time, it's a project that hopefully isn't too overwhelming for you. And it is these these pieces that just help you sort of take every, you know, take things day to day in that very mindfulness, that mindfulness way because again, it's not like, you know, there's the Kubler Ross stages of grief. And there's these other things and, and, you know, if I look at my, you know, grief journey, if you will, it's really just a big scribble. You know, because there's, there'll be days, I mean, Molly died in 2016. And so it's been several years since she's been gone. And, you know, for the most part, you know, I'm I function through the day to day, I still think about her every day, there's something in the world that makes me think about her. And then there's some times where it's just a gut punch. It's just like, it's like, it's like, it wasn't that long ago at all. And there's, there's other times where it's, it's not doesn't feel that way.   Michael Hingson  56:41 And for me, I don't ever want it to be that long ago. And I will always remember and I think that it's important. Well, when you're married for 40 years, minus 15 days, that's not a surprise. But I wouldn't want I wouldn't want that to change. There's so much to remember about her and, and all of the wonderful times the memories will always be here. And that's an important thing. Yes, definitely. So then the pandemic hit you remember that pandemic thing? And, yeah, well, I'm   Kris Gowen  57:12 still here.   Michael Hingson  57:13 Little things are crawling all over the place. And you wrote another book.   Kris Gowen  57:17 Yeah. And that's the book that the Find Your song is, is where so I wrote one nation under song as like, when I completed that karaoke journey. And then I never really had the intention of writing a book from it, I just got back and I was like, I'm not done. I'm not done. Not done. And so like, that book just sort of came forward. And I, you know, worked on it that way. And then, during the pandemic, I, I wish I could remember, I'm sure it's brain fog, or whatever have you or just the COVID time messing this, but like, I just noticed that like I was grieving the world was grieving. The two things that really bring me like, are the three things that bring me joy, karaoke, can't do that. That's like one of the worst things you do during a pandemic, travel can't do that. So like the two things that helped me through my, you know, that the loss of Mali, those were way off the table, and then even being in community and being with friends or something, well, that was on the table in a very small dose, right, you couldn't just go out and see people. So I was left with being stripped of the my coping mechanisms. And so one of the other coping mechanisms I still sort of had was writing. And the thing I wanted to write about was the thing that I was experiencing, which was grief and being the researcher that I am I went to literature and I looked at grief literature and, and just started writing about this concept of joy and grief and and synthesizing the science, my own personal experiences and, and my own abilities to synthesize literature as a researcher. Yeah, I just I, like I said, it's, it's a tiny little book. And, you know, so it's digestible for people who are going through grief because, you know, can't really read a lot when you're super sad. And, and you Yeah, it just takes people through sort of things to consider others meditations in it, that you can use exercises that you can do if you find those fun, and otherwise, it's just, it helped me and I just hope it helps other other people without being really super prescriptive, like do it this way. It's not that kind of book.   Michael Hingson  59:47 No, I'm curious. You during the pandemic, of course, she had travel issues and so on, and I appreciate that I came back from New York on March 6 of 2020 is They closed down the city I escaped and made it back to California. Can you travel and get anywhere near the same level of enjoyment by doing it virtually?   Kris Gowen  1:00:12 Travel virtually, or karaoke virtually   Michael Hingson  1:00:15 traveled? Well, we could talk about karaoke too, but I was thinking more of travel virtually.   Kris Gowen  1:00:19 I'm, I don't I mean, not for me, I'm gonna say I think other people, it might answer that differently. And I'm way too much of a people person. And way too much of a person that needs to absorb the ambiance. And the feelings that I'm have the space around me to really get the sense of I've been there without actually physically being there,   Michael Hingson  1:00:50 there is nothing like experiencing the ocean by being there. And I don't necessarily even mean walking into the ocean, although that, for me becomes a part of it as well. But the sound is different, it is just a total different thing, or going to a live performance. And listening to the orchestra, and or to a musical and listening in watching it live. The sound the whole ambiance, although I can cope with doing things virtually. And I can watch movies virtually Well, or, you know, online or however. But there's nothing, absolutely nothing. Like being in a Broadway theater and observing a performance.   Michael Hingson  1:01:40 Yeah, you feel the energy and you feel the energy,   Michael Hingson  1:01:44 the sound is totally different. And I'm sure that the site is as well. We went to see Lion King, what as soon after it came out, and my brother in law, his wife, and their daughter, three years old, were visiting us and a friend of his new one of the actors and got us into the Lion King. And Karen was telling me, my wife was we were watching and she said, you know, you really forget about the puppets, you just see the animals and you forget that it's people behind them. And then after the show, we got to go back stage and meet several of the actors. And I actually got to look at a couple of the puppets. And although I experienced, obviously different than she did, and the others, I understood what they were saying, but there is just nothing like the energy of being in a live performance or in a situation. So I think you can see a lot by traveling virtually. But it is still not the same as being there.   Kris Gowen  1:02:47 Yes, I mean, I think it's, it's better than not doing anything and seeing the same four walls or one block or whatever, of where you're situated. And yeah, and for me, it's not the same. And I don't want to take away the experience of other people have that experience that differently.   Michael Hingson  1:03:05 Well, the other part about it is is virtual reality improves. I wonder how much that will affect our ability to maybe have a better experience? Don't know the answer to that yet. We're to near the beginning of that whole process, though, to really know.   Kris Gowen  1:03:22 Yeah, it is interesting, because buildings, maybe, but again, like if you're looking for the people energy, you're still not gonna be able to get that. But if you want to look at like, you know, a castle, or some a temple or something like that, and just can't be immersed.   Michael Hingson  1:03:39 Even people, maybe you can, again, depends on how good and effective the virtual reality is, how good the sound is, how good every aspect of it is. But that's something that only time is going to really tell but I suspect, they'll always be something that is hard to replicate in a virtual reality mode, as opposed to actually being there. And that's part of the fun and even if you get all the same sensations going somewhere, you still know you're there, which is just in itself kind of fun.   Kris Gowen  1:04:17 Yeah, for sure.   Michael Hingson  1:04:20 Well, this has been really a lot of fun to to do. I've enjoyed it. If tell Miss, where people can get your books and the names of the books again, and how could they reach out to you if they want to learn more about you if you're doing consulting that may be relevant for people, how do they get to you and all that stuff?   Kris Gowen  1:04:39 Yeah, so let's see. It's um, like now trying to figure out which hat for which which contact LinkedIn? Probably LinkedIn is probably the easiest for consulting and things like that or just being in touch. And my two books are one nation under song and find your Song and they are both on Amazon. And my publisher went under when I was during the pandemic, so they're currently in self published mode. And so other booksellers will pick them up because they're through Ingram Spark. So it's not just Amazon, it can be through a Barnes and Nobles online or a Pauwels, or something like that. And yeah, LinkedIn would probably be the easiest place.   Michael Hingson  1:05:27 How do people find you on LinkedIn? Kris? Gowen,   Kris Gowen  1:05:30 K R I S G O W E N.   Michael Hingson  1:05:33 That will that will find you How about your book on sex education and so on? Is that still available?   Kris Gowen  1:05:38 I think it actually is. And also, again, like sort of major retailer booksellers, I think it's that's through Rowman and Littlefield. And I think they still, I think they still churn it out every once in a while. It's certainly not my retirement plan. But I think it's still, it's still out there and

Michael Farr welcomes Jim Lebenthal this week for an extended discussion on the Federal Reserve and how the investing environment has shifted as the Fed wrestles with inflation and stress in the banking system. Michael is joined by Dan Mahaffee for the Kubler-Ross five stages of death and debt-ceiling negotiations. Insight into Wall Street, Washington, and The World -- it's The FarrCast!

Therapist Sara joins me to talk grief. We discuss, what grief is, is it a problem, Kubler Ross, what helps, why embodiment was a missing piece, limb loss, divorce, intimacy and grief, suicide, the death of children, and some top tips! Both fun and sad. A touching one on an underexplored topic. Links to Sara Jones: www.therapylumina.com instagram: @luminasupport https://www.facebook.com/therapylumina Sara is a psychotherapist and coach who uses compassionate therapy and somatic work to support people experiencing difficult life transitions, such as bereavement, relationship difficulties, and emotional and physical abuse recovery. She specialises in grief work and complex trauma. Realising that embodiment was the missing piece in her own process led Sara to integrate somatic work with a broad background of therapeutic techniques to help her clients work deeply with their experiences in an environment of safety and acceptance.  Originally from the U.K. Sara is now based in Portugal, as well as running her own practice she teaches workshops, runs a grief support network, and loves to collaborate with other local professionals to create new approaches to difficult subjects.    

She was the keynote speaker, but I didn't know. It was just her lovely energy that drew me to start speaking with Dr. Katie Eastman at the Seattle Founder's Live event last year. With a mutual passion for helping people through change, we hit it off right away. When I learned that she had been mentored by the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, I knew this was someone who knew more than a few things about what it takes to find peace with transition. Even more impressive than her close connection to the Kubler-Ross legacy is her 3 decade long career as a therapist and guide for parents of terminally ill children. The stories she tells are heart-wrenching and heart-warming – a true testament to the human spirit.  Although we don't dive deep into these stories in this episode, her soon to be published book - “Uplifting – Stories of Change, Loss and Growth!” - does. In this episode, we explore why the famous Kubler-Ross change curve work is likely very different than what you think it is. We discuss the messages of Jung and Meister Eckhart, as well as exploring why we struggle to follow their wisdom. Tune in to hear:-          What it means to deny death and the impact it has had on the U.S. ability to navigate the COVID pandemic (Wow.)-          What one thing we always have, even at the end of life.-          Why stress is a 15 second experience unless your brain gets in the way.-          Why the origins of the mental health crisis can be found in our inability to reset.-          Why the best thing we can do for kids today is to teach them how to just be at peace with how they are feeling, accepting it as real and normal and passing.-          5 tips for helping kids and adults to be with their body and self-calm.  As “Dr. KatieE” will be showing the world in the next few years, there is so much we can learn from the death of some of our youngest humans. Be sure to tune in to this episode for a glimpse of her wisdom and get ready to read her book soon!  In her words, “Kids have been my greatest teachers, especially dying kids. Death is the greatest place to learn about living.”  Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keastmanpsydlcsw/Website and Book Release List: https://www.drkatiee.com    

Three main topics are covered after interviewing Charlie in the two episodes:1. Helping children through Parental Alienation (PA);2. Reducing damage done through trauma;3. Restoring personal mental health. The parent manipulates the child to avoid the other parent. The PA syndrome is similar to the Five Stages of Grief by Kubler-Ross: https://www.psycom.net/stages-of-grief.PA is a similar process; but unlike grief, the child is still alive but alienated. We apply our individual situations and how it is similar and dissimilar to grief. The kid or kids are gone but totally which is awkward to process.We discuss how although this is your position; you should present yourself as strong and happy; there is nothing wrong with you. The child is not experiencing alienation; you are. Don't over communicate by saying things such as `I miss you.' That phrase harms kids as well since they are not in control.We discuss how this is the most natural thing to say but refrain from saying it.Don't present yourself as sad or depressed. If you are confident and happy you are a strong parent and kids seek you out.We discuss the necessity of having friends, family, and a life outside your children.Families and friends need to be coached against the injustice that you are feeling; it does not help.We discuss the need to educate friends and family.Legislative reform can only be done in the US on a state-by-state basis and not federally. People in power do not take chances making decisions so they do not face a negative reactionWe followed by discussing the details emerging from Ohio's legislation. If a parent is immature the child tries to parent the parent thus upsetting the natural order. Parents should always be a parent. Kids just want to be kids. Family members and friends choose between the alienator, children, and you. They can turn on you further isolating you.The universe is similar to a Venn diagram. Lives intersect but you, the alienator, and the children are in a separate universe. Remind yourself that you are a good person and grow.Reach out to Charlie via Facebook and Instagram to DM Charlie. He has a twenty-minute introductory video, and in a small group setting has an eight-week program which repeats four weeks later as a follow-up. Learn more about your hosts Mick Smith and Kindra Riber. They are waging the war on ending the pain of divorce, parental alienation, custody battles and the break-up of families. Their purpose is to give you the tools on how to heal in the aftermath of family trauma and drama. To get a copy of our ebook, Survive Your Divorce, providing tips on working through a divorce, handling the children, finances, and healing afterwards, email theaftermathhealing@gmail.comThis has been a Mediacasters Production.

Charlie experienced PA in 2013; his former wife limited contact with his two children.His 9 step program is holistic addressing three points: children, self, and inside the alienator's head.The child is a tool to attack the other parent.We need skills to understand the alienation.We need to focus on the mindset of the child.The alienating parent is monitoring all contact and communication. The parent manipulates the child to avoid the other parent. The PA syndrome is similar to the Five Stages of Grief by Kubler-Ross: https://www.psycom.net/stages-of-grief.PA is a similar process; but unlike grief, the child is still alive but alienated. Three main topics are covered:1. Helping children through Parental Alienation (PA);2. Reducing damage done through trauma;3. Restoring personal mental health. Reach out to Charlie via Facebook and Instagram DM Charlie. Learn more about your hosts Mick Smith and Kindra Riber. They are waging the war on ending the pain of divorce, parental alienation, custody battles and the break-up of families. Their purpose is to give you the tools on how to heal in the aftermath of family trauma and drama. Learn more about Mick Smith: Get Mick's Book: Burning America: Amazon.com: Burning America: In the Best Interest of The Children?: 9781956353259: Smith, G Mick: BooksLearn More About Kindra Riber:Meet Kindra | Speak Life Into Strife (kindraspeaks.com)If you are going through a high-conflict divorce or a custody battle, please reach out to us at:theaftermathhealing@gmail.comThis has been a Mediacasters Production.

Hello everyone,A few months ago, I finally had the chance to record a conversation with Josh Wolfe of Lux Capital. This was published at Compound (I also previously profiled Josh).Josh has been a frequent podcast guest and I did a lot of prep work to find questions he hadn't tackled yet. As a result, I think it's a timeless conversation with the exception of a brief discussion of the macro cycle (Josh and Lux were bearish and cautious before markets turned down).Josh and his partners were young with an unconventional background when they bootstrapped Lux. With little capital under management they earned additional cash flow through a research business.We sold [the report] for $4,750 bucks a copy, sold a few 100 of them and helped keep our little business alive. I got access to all these famous CEOs and VCs. Vinod Khosla was one of the first VCs to buy it. And I was like, Okay, I'll sell it to you, but only if I can come and meet you. So I went out to Sand Hill Road and I remember his office, I remember viscerally what it looked like, it was the first major billionaire VC I met.I absolutely loved his comments about using doubt as motivation and fuel.Anybody that doesn't believe in you, either you let that bring you down, or it becomes fuel. To this day, we like to say that we believe before others understand. Because there really is something powerful, just psychologically, of believing in somebody.I would be on a run on a treadmill, and I'd be getting tired. And I would imagine some of these heroes cheering me on. ‘You can do it, come on.' I have ghost images of these individuals to cheer me on. Peter and I would find strength in the people that didn't think we were going to make it and felt really motivated to prove correct the people who did.It's also a framework he uses to assess founders. Chips on shoulders put chips in pockets as he likes to say.The best entrepreneurs we see are the ones who are so obsessed to prove other people wrong who don't think this is possible. That to me feels honest.It feels petty, but it's real.I also admired Josh's focus on his family. It's easy to neglect that if you're highly competitive.Being with my kids is just the great salve. … Family stuff for me is very cathartic. Whatever is going on, I could be negotiating a big financing. And my little guy who's six is like, Dad, I can't get the screw into this thing and that is more important. Getting the screw into the little toy is more important at that moment. That to me is a big thing.Thank you for listening and happy holidays

I have been following the research of Dr Mary-Frances O'Connor for almost a decade now, so I was absolutely delighted when she published her book ‘The Grieving Brain' last year. I am always hungry to learn about grief and specifically, what can the science tell us about how to make sure we are supporting the bereaved in the most compassionate and effective way possible. This book affirmed a lot of what I experience in clinical practice and also taught me more about the grieving process. Loss of a loved one is something everyone experiences, and for as long as humans have existed, we have struggled when a loved one dies. Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief, the deep yearning, and devastating heartache of loss. But until now, we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience. In THE GRIEVING BRAIN: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss (HarperOne; February 1, 2022; Hardcover) renowned grief expert, neuroscientist, and psychologist Mary-Frances O'Connor, Ph.D., shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning. In The Grieving Brain, O'Connor, who has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, reveals a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. She makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, and how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence. Significantly, O'Connor debunks Kubler-Ross' enduring idea of the “Five Stages of Grief” and sets a new paradigm for understanding grief on a neurological level. -More- Based on O'Connor's own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and real-life stories, The Grieving Brain brings together accessible science and practical knowledge that provides a more nuanced understanding of what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace. The Grieving Brain addresses: • Why it's so hard to understand that a loved one has died and is gone forever • Why grief causes so many emotions—sadness, anger, blame, guilt, and yearning • Why grieving takes so long • What happens in the brain during grief • The distinction between grief and complicated grief • Why we ruminate so much after we lose a loved one • How we go about restoring a meaningful life while grieving. Ground-breaking, fascinating and accessible, The Grieving Brain is essential reading for everyone who's lost someone and for anyone looking for a way to heal. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. O'Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Following a faculty appointment at UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, she returned to the University of Arizona in 2012. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post. Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in Tucson, Arizona. For more information go to https://www.maryfrancesoconnor.com/ THE GRIEVING BRAIN The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss By Mary-Frances O'Connor HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Hardcover | ISBN: 9780062946232 www.maryfrancesoconnor.com/book Twitter: @doctormfo FaceBook: @maryfranceso Instagram: @doctormfoconnor LinkedIn: Mary-Frances O'Connor

In this episode we unpack Swiss Psychiatrist and Author Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's classic book "On Death and Dying" from 1969. This book explores... The Fear of Death in the Modern Age The Five Stages of Grief Advice for Navigating the 5 Stages of Grief Links to Reading & Articles mentioned On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross The Trauma of Birth by Otto Rank Uses of the Erotic by Audrey Lorde Illness as Metaphor by Susan Sontag Empathy vs. Sympathy by Brene Brown (video) *note* reading is not required to enjoy this episode! Host: Zach Stehura UnpackingIdeas.com Guest: Andrea Dispenziere Psychology Today Theme Music: Polyenso Timestamps 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:58 Autumn's Association with Death 00:06:15 Reminding Ourselves of our Mortality 00:13:19 Fear of Death in the Modern Age 00:14:40 Decline in Infant Mortality 00:17:25 Impersonal Treatment of Terminal Patients 00:24:29 The Illusion of Control 00:25:39 Summary of Kubler-Ross's Interview Project 00:28:10 Verbal Ventilation 00:28:59 Importance of Meaning/Purpose 00:33:38 Mourning the Loss of Certain Abilities before Death 00:36:42 The Five Stages of Grief 00:38:23 Stage 1: Denial 00:39:18 Euphemism 00:40:51 Emotional Detachment 00:46:00 The Stigma of Denial 00:48:50 The Last Stage of the 5 stages of grief is the First Step of the 12 steps Program 00:50:05 The Link between Denial and Hope 00:52:16 Shock and Numbness 00:53:22 The Connection between Isolation and Denial 00:55:24 Stage 2: Anger 00:55:29 Anger at God 00:57:06 Anger at Oneself 00:59:05 Victim Blaming 01:01:00 Anger at the Living 01:02:16 Stage 3: Bargaining 01:02:54 Ambivalence 01:04:50 Bargaining with God 01:05:43 Reneging on the “Agreement” 01:10:45 Stage 4: Depression 01:10:49 Reactive vs. Preparatory Depression 01:12:47 Telling the Depressed Person to “Cheer Up” 01:14:15 Grieving your Anticipated Future 01:18:49 Sitting with the Person in Whatever Stage They're In 01:21:28 Stage 5: Acceptance 01:21:36 Detaching from Life 01:22:30 Conflating Acceptance as “Quitting” 01:23:30 Difficulty Accepting Death in a Masculine Culture 01:25:57 Need for Solitude at End of Life 01:29:12 Kubler-Ross's View of Death and Dying 01:30:30 Wrapping up/Outro

In this episode we will be talking about grief, loss and being left. I will also be sharing what I have learned from the two amazing Maesters, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and Byron Katie.I will talk about Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of death and dying and her later addition to that list. I will also be sharing the different perspectives on loss and as importantly my perspective on it as it relates to bringing meaning to the concepts and bringing it all together by speaking to the Day of the Dead.Let's go, let's get it done. Get more information at: http://projectweightloss.org

We have all heard of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While this model was created by Dr. Kubler Ross based on her clinical experience, it doesn't necessarily reflect everyone's experience with grief. Grief is a profoundly personal journey, and no two people grieve exactly the same way. In my experience with grief, I have found that the five stages are more like a spiral than a linear process. I may move through the stages several times before finally reaching acceptance. And even then, I may find myself revisiting the stages from time to time. Grief is a complex emotion, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with it. What works for one person may not work for another. The important thing is to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve in whatever feels right for you.

Dr. Kubler-Ross's 7-stage grieving process. - shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Join our host, Herb Knoll, as he visits with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor, Ph.D., and author of the breakout book, The Grieving Brain – The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss. The Grieving Brain brings together accessible science and practical knowledge that provides an understanding of what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace.  Dr. O'Connor debunks Kubler-Ross' enduring idea of the “Five Stages of Grief” and sets a new paradigm for understanding grief on a neurological level.  This understanding can lead to timely recoveries from sorrow initiated by loss. You won't want to miss this lively exchange between two highly rated experts from the world of grief.

The Kubler-Ross five stage model of grief is a place to start when grieving, but it isn't the only way to navigate grief. Grief isn't something we move through as if we have a map. It has its own shape and according to the poet Albert Huffstickler “that's what we're looking for: not the end of a thing but the shape of it.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. O'Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Following a faculty appointment at UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, she returned to the University of Arizona in 2012. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post. Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in Tucson, Arizona. For more information go to https://www.maryfrancesoconnor.com/     Loss of a loved one is something everyone experiences, and for as long as humans have existed, we have struggled when a loved one dies. Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief, the deep yearning, and devastating heartache of loss. But until now, we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience.  In THE GRIEVING BRAIN: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss (HarperOne; February 1, 2022; Hardcover) renowned grief expert, neuroscientist, and psychologist Mary-Frances O'Connor, Ph.D., shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning.   In The Grieving Brain, O'Connor, who has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, reveals a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. She makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, and how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence. Significantly, O'Connor debunks Kubler-Ross' enduring idea of the “Five Stages of Grief” and sets a new paradigm for understanding grief on a neurological level.  

Tanatologia Y QUE Significan Las Siglas NINDA  Lo prometido es deuda y en esta entrega traemos la segunda parte del tema del Duelo.  En esta ocasión con nuestro invitado especial el Psicólogo Jesús Orduna Herrera experto en Tanatología; quien nos explicara ampliamente todos los tipos de duelo y pérdidas; ahondando en lo que es el duelo según la psicología y en qué consiste la teoría de Kubler-Ross de  las 5 fases del duelo. Durante todo el episodio podrás escuchar las aportaciones de cada una de las participantes del podcast quienes nos relatan sus vivencias y nos hablan desde el corazón. Este es un episodio muy sensible y deseamos que todo lo que aquí compartimos pueda ayudarte a tener un panorama diferente y de esperanza. Recuerden no estan solos y estamos aquí para escucharte

Hollywood went deep into copaganda in July 1989 (Batman, Lethal Weapon 2, AND Turner & Hooch?!), and Ann M. Martin went even deeper into the Kubler-Ross model in this exquisitely realized portrayal of death and grief. Grab your weighted blanket for this one, kids, cause it's the Coping with Existential Despair Hour! YAY!Brooke and Kaykay discuss Claudia's attempt to find meaning in loss and their own experiences with the grieving process, with digressions on Kaykay's Cool Aunt status and a pitch for a gritty reboot of a Nickelodeon classic.But really: This is a heavier episode than usual, so you may want to plan your listening accordingly. And fear not: All will be brought into balance with extra fart and/or menstruation jokes in the next episode.Visit us at our website, and follow us on:FacebookTwitterInstagramSpotify

As Optimists in Progress we hoped to spring into Season 2 firmly in a “post-pandemic” world or at least something approaching 'normal',  but as the pandemic morphs into an endemic, we are welcoming our new season of guests into a time of cautious acclimation to a new reality. In this first episode of Season 2, Tom and Drea reflect on where we find ourselves right now, and some of the positive habits we can build to accept, cope and ultimately thrive in this next, constantly shifting phase. Listen in to our conversations with change-makers and future-shapers over the coming months. Activists, athletes, entrepreneurs, musicians, chefs and many other guests share how their own paths to active optimism have helped them find radical joy and purpose in this time of flux.Read more about:Kubler-Ross stages of grief / change curveAcute v chronic stress and post-covid stress disorderFORBES: Delta Variant and second wave of health issuesSuicide rates among youth of color are risingThe Nation: Howard Zinn, Optimism in UncertaintyTo get in touch with us, email: podcast@optimistdrinks.comFor more about the show visit optimistdrinks.com and click on the journal pages.Follow Optimist Drinks @optimistdrinksFollow Dr Drea Letamendi @arkhamasylumdocFollow Tom Johnstone @tommyjohnstone 

Grief done well means moving into wholeness, a process in which we become people who help heal the world around us. But how do we get there? In this third and final episode about grief, we explore the role of anger and protest in moving us beyond sorrow and into meaningful action for the sake of hope and joy.