Podcasts about sexual assualt

Brian H. Waters is disappointed in the NBA Finals, how the Knicks head coaching search and Kevin Durant's desire for a new home has been the focus, but not the new stars of the NBA. He has a few uncomfortable conversations about the following:(1:40) The NBA Finals coverage includes everything but the Finals! (8:10) Is Kevin Durant Washed(11:30) Angel Reese Trademarking "MeBounds"(13:34) Is Caitlin Clark The Real Villian?(16:03) The Angels Have Failed Mike Trout(21:34) Tyler Perry's sued for Sexual Assualt (23:32) R Kelly Rushed to the Hospital Don't forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for more real talk!

Shannon Sharpe Sued for sexual assault

What happens when you report a sexual assault? What are the processes and how do they affect the outcome of a case? In this episode, former GP Kathryn Fox speaks to forensic physician Dr Maaike Moller to demystify and debunk the process of reporting a sexual assault. Maaike will walk us through how and when to report an assault, how evidence and DNA is collected from a survivor, and the autonomy of the survivor throughout the whole process. Maaike also shares her expertise on drug-facilitated assault and stealthing.  Please note, this podcast is not a replacement for professional advice. If you've been assaulted or suspect your drink has been spiked, please contact your local police or seek medical advice from a health professional or local hospital.  Crime Insiders executive producer Dan Mullins presents a look back at one of our earlier episodes. This episode discusses sexual assault. Information and support for anyone affected by rape or sexual abuse issues is available in Australia at 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Suzie Miller's frugal and free range St Kilda childhood taught her to question almost everything. She grew up to become a trailblazing writer and lawyer (R)Suzie Miller grew up in St Kilda, and from early in life she had a number of part-time jobs. She became a trailblazing paper girl in her local area, when the role was usually only offered to boys.As a young woman Suzie trained as a lawyer and began working with homeless teenagers in Sydney's Kings Cross. She then began to write stories and plays out of the lives she was encountering in court.She thought these were stories the world needed to hear. And the world sat up and listened.Suzie's award winning play Prima Facie, a one woman show about how the legal system treats victims of sexual assault, has received standing ovations from its Sydney premiere to the West End in London and on Broadway in New York.  The play has since inspired a TV show, a movie and a novel.Suzie's story covers themes of grief, family, motherhood, memoir, an exploration of the legal system, grief, and reflections on the changing role of women the modern world.

A video appearing to show a young woman being sexually assaulted in Tanzania went viral, prompting an outcry in the East African nation. This past weekend a police commander in the capital, Dodoma, was removed from her post following controversial comments in which she linked the victim in the video to sex work. So what's been the reaction in Tanzania?Also, why is Libya's Central Bank under siege? And why did Kenya's government first try to control the price of tea and then reversed the plan? Presenter: Audrey Brown Producers: Bella Hassan and Nyasha Michelle in London and Charles Gitonga in Nairobi Technical Producer: Nick Randell Senior Journalist: Karnie Sharp Editors: Andre Lombard and Alice Muthengi

Working as a commercial river guide is one of the best jobs, day after day on rivers, helping people enjoy rivers, seeing beauty, having fun, chasing adrenaline. Creating incredible friendships, some of which might last a lifetime. And there can be a dark layer. Sexual Harassment continues to percolate, as it does in many places, in the layers of river guide culture.  This episode goes there and learns about sexual harassment in the river guiding culture. We talk with Dr Maria Blevins, long time river guide, who has conducted research on this topic. We hear from guide warehouse and staff manager, Bryant Baker, about how he is working to eliminate sexual harassment from the company he manages. And we talk with Respect Outside and Jim Miller to gain clarity about sexual harassment definitions, when sexual harassment is assault, how and why it percolates in river guiding, and resources available for guide companies to shake free of sexual harassment. SPONSORSDenver Area Nissan DealersInstagramOver It Raft Covers@overitraftcoverspromo code, free shipping: riverradius GUESTSDr Maria BlevinsUniversity of UtahPaddling Magazine article by Dr BlevinsBryant BakerJim MIllerRespect OutsideSexual Harassment TrainingsRESOURCESA-DASH websiteInstagramFacebookYou TubeStrand Squared SolutionsEngage Coaching & ConsultingEEOC US Equal Employment Opportunity CommissionHarassmentGRAND CANYON RIVER DISTRACT Men's Journal: Rough Water: A River Guide Tells Her Side of the StoryHigh Country News: Grand Canyon park's 15 year failure on sexual harassmentHigh Country News: Grand Canyon abolishes river district in response to sexual harassment allegationsOutside Magazine: Hostile EnvironmentOutside Magazine: The Woman Ending Sexual Harassment at the Grand CanyonHuffpost: Out Here, No One Can Hear You ScreamUS Dept of Interior: Investigative Report of Misconduct at the Grand Canyon River District SEXUAL HARASSMENT & ASSUALT IN ROCK CLIMBINGNew York Times: Rock Climber Gets Life in Prison for Sexual AssaultClimber Convicted on all Three Counts of Sexual AssualtSafe Outside / American Alpine Club   THE RIVER RADIUSWebsiteInstagramFacebookApple PodcastSpotifyLink Tree

CONTENT WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ASSUALT. Denise faces the aftermath of her affair with Thompson. DJ Denise examines her life choices.

It's difficult to imagine having a bright future with a life full of promise, fame, and prestige, living that life doing exactly what you were wanting to do: dancing, modeling, acting, singing, and a career trajectory that was leading to Broadway and world travel and fame on July 8, 1991…and then on July 9, 1991, having it all stomped out in just a few minutes by a man whose only goal was to rape. That's what Jeffrey Epstein did to Jessica Michaels. Jessica barely knew Jeffrey Epstein. She had only met him briefly to talk about the possibility of working for him doing massage; when he invited her to his home just a few days later, she was pretty sure she had the job. But that second encounter went from a bizarre meeting of providing him with a massage, to him forcefully raping Jess. At that moment, her life caved in on her, putting her in a 27-year state of emotional dissociation and bodily illnesses and adrenal fatigue syndrome that enveloped her life, nearly destroying her physically. Jess did what she could to survive, including teaching dance. But then even more devasting trauma stuck her and her small town when several of her dance students were murdered in the Sandy Hook Elementary mass shooting. It's strange, but that tragedy set Jess on her path of healing. Healing from the shooting trauma, and healing from the rape trauma. And it also put her on a path of helping others heal from their sexual trauma. The story is more than incredible; it's phenomenal. Listen to Jess tell her story of devastating rape and astounding healing. Then, do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault by sharing this episode with everyone you know. The growth of this podcast is dependent on listeners doing just that: sharing episodes and encouraging others to listen. Another way to help provide justice is to Start By Believing. If you don't know what that phrase means, you can learn more . And yet another way is to learn more about and promote Jess' work on Sexual Assault First Aid, a mobile app she is helping to design and promote.   There's so much work to be done to push this world towards the vision of eliminating rape and sexual assault. And while the realist in me believes that this goal isn't really possible, the optimist in me says that we can all work together to significantly reduce the prevalence of these devastating crimes and help bring justice to victims and survivors. This is important because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault, even though we may not know it. Please do your part. You have my sincere appreciation. Here are some links and sites I would encourage you to check out and support:  

TRIGGER WARNING: Stalking & R*pe   PLUS CONTAINS SPOILERS! Please don't continue reading/listening if you are yet to watch the show.   Everyone's talking about Baby Reindeer, so I thought it was time to join the conversation.   Of course, I am looking at things from an astrological edge, and when they gave specific dates in the show, I just had to note them down to take a look.   The show was launched on 11 April 2024, during a highly volatile and compelling period of planetary transits (eclipse season, Mercury retrograde, and the Jupiter–Uranus conjunction).   Unsurprisingly, the nature of the story is shocking, moving and helplessly fascinating. The themes of this dark drama really plug into the zeitgeist.    It is important to note I don't have accurate birth data for Richard Gadd who plays Donald Dunn a.k.a. Baby Reindeer, and the dates discussed during the show may be fictional dates, but that doesn't matter because I believe any dates mentioned/fabricated/mistakenly issued, always hold some sort of meaning or significance.   That said, social and generational planets are slower moving, so I think they give a general feel for a period in time, without the need for zooming in on the personal planets/details.   Chart details Richard Gadd 11 May 1989 Wormit Scotland *cast for noon   Dates mentioned in show Stalking Donald Dunn 24 August 2015 to 22 March 2017   Stalking Parents 06 June 2016 to 22 March 2017   Read my article for The Mountain Astrologer: Weapons of Mass Distraction - Astrodienst    

This week the Dildo Whisperer is having a conversation about consent. It is a topic that isn't talked about nearly enough and people often misunderstand what it means to get consent. Romaine and Ajay talk about personal experiences of times when consent was about mental health, personal preference and when the line gets a little blury. This is a dildo whisperer conversation you don't want to miss.  Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the next episode of The Dildo Whisperer. We have two ways to reach the show. You can call into our show at 844-695-2766 or you can email us at Askthedw@gmail.com. Follow us on social media @dildowhisperer The Dildo Whisperer is produced by DNR Studios. To subscribe to this show and the rest of the DNR Network of shows including the Cookie Jar Podcast visit: www.dnrstudios.com

Part of the common experience in doing interviews of victims and survivors of rape, sexual assault, and other interpersonal violence, is to hear the person I'm interviewing say that they only remember certain parts of their trauma experience, or that there are parts that they've tried really hard to remember, but just can't. Or say that there are parts of their trauma experience that they wish they could forget, but as much as they keep putting it out of their mind, or try not to think about it, they can't stop the memories, intrusive thoughts, and nightmares. But why is this happening, on both sides of that horrific experience…wanting to remember, but can't; wanting to forget, but can't? In this episode I explain what's going on, to some degree, keeping in mind that the neuroscience of trauma and memory is complex and full of idiosyncrasies. And some parts of the brain and what's happening with trauma just haven't been discovered yet. But the science has some very good, detailed, and reliable answers. Here, I try to put some of it into context for you. I hope it helps. It would be great to hear your thoughts and input on this subject…and whether you found this episode informative and helpful. Please rate this episode and leave me your comments! Your input is appreciated! Please remember to do your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; the best way for you to do that is to Start By Believing. Because, we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. Additionally, here are some links you might find informative, helpful, and resourceful. Please learn about these people and organizations and support them financially if at all possible. They are there for you! Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere

64. Dave Markel: The 2023 Year-end Episode of Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. 2023 has been an amazing year of growth for Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. It's terribly sad that there is a need for this podcast to exist in our world. Yet, it's a blessing to provide this platform for victims and survivors who willing to share their stories of rape and sexual assault. These narratives not only help the guests but also offer healing and growth to the listener. I'm also grateful to have professional guests who bring tremendous insights and education on trauma-informed approaches, teach us various tactics to stay safe, and how to thrive despite the horrors of rape and sexual assault. This week's list of clips are from the episodes of the following guests, in this order:  Nicole Florisi; Von Kleam; Arci Grey; Haley Roma; Caroline Markel Hammond; Anne Winslow; Tracy Matheson; Amanda Coleman; Julien Jones; Alan Manwaring; Leanne Cameron; Donnell Cameron; Tim Cocanougher; McCall Allen; Katie Stewart; Cassie Nicholas; Nicole Snell; Mallory Tingey; and Joshua White. The growth of this podcast this year has been beyond my wildest dreams. And I truly hope it continues to grow and to bring help and healing to all my listeners, regardless of your reason for listening in. I hope you're more than just a casual listener though. I hope you're a regular listener/subscriber who is growing and healing, or growing in your knowledge and understanding of what it means to be trauma-informed, as well as provide trauma-informed responses and services to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. As always, please remember to Start by Believing, in order to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. And please remember to hit the subscribe button on the platform provider page that you use to listen to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. davemarkel@gmail.com #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

This is the concluding episode of Yri Stafylaki. It's her continuing story of how her bad situation with an abusive boyfriend got worse. Worse because the fallout of what it means to be in an abusive, narcissistic relationship is often extremely messy. Yri had been living her athletic dream of being on a basketball team that meant the world to her. She wasn't a shining star player, but she had worked hard enough to make the team, and even harder to realize her dream of becoming a player who had become instrumental in scoring points and helping bring wins to the team. Being a part of this organization was a big deal to Yri. But the problem became the fact that her once loving boyfriend, who was an athlete colleague on a men's basketball team in the mutual league setting as her own women's league, became abusive, even to the point that a rape resulted, Yri's place on her team was brought to a traumatic culmination. When she let her coach know about the rape, he ignored the seriousness of the situation and continued to allow Yri's boyfriend to be in the gym at the same time as Yri, against the agreement he had made with her. During an important game, when her boyfriend showed up in the audience, Yri became distraught, even to the point of tears during halftime in the locker room. Yri was kicked out of the locker room by her coach for being disruptive. Afterward, Yri made the difficult, but necessary, decision to quit the team in order to not have to see her rapist any longer. Then, things got even worse. You'll have to listen to the episode to get the full story. There are no happily-ever-after endings in a rape story. But there can be healing and victories; such is the case with Yri. While she doesn't play organizational basketball any longer, she is dancing, and drawing, and writing…and she discovered the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories podcast when she was looking for some reprieve from the rape experience. And because of others on the podcast who've been brave enough to tell their survival story, Yri reached out to me and asked if she could be on the podcast also. And you're the fortunate listener who gets to hear Yri share her story here, in order to help bring justice to other victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. If you're ready to tell your story, you can reach me at , and we can talk about the possibility of you being on the show. And there are other ways to also help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault; one of the best ways is to Start By Believing. Learn more about the campaign at the Start By Believing website, published below. Do it for the victims and survivors, and do it for yourself…because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. And if you're a victim or survivor who needs resources and help, find out what may be available for you at Safe In Harm's Way website, also listed below. You can help this podcast by becoming a subscriber wherever you get your podcasts. It also helps if you'll leave a rating, a comment, and tell others about the show! Thank you!!   #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

It never ceases to amaze me…my podcast listeners that reach out to me with courage, strength, fortitude, and powerful resilience who are hoping to share their stories, not for glory or attention, but to help others who may find themselves in very similar circumstances with very similar experiences, in order to offer a sense of comradery and community, and to help others on their own healing journey: Yri is no less amazing! In Yri's “Part 1” episode, Yri has courageously shared her harrowing experience as a victim of narcissistic manipulation and abuse at the hands of an athlete colleague who is on a men's basketball team in the mutual league setting as her own women's league. Initially, their relationship seemed promising, with shared interests in music and his genuine concern for Yri's struggles with self-harm. However, behind this facade of care and charm lay a sinister truth: her partner was a skilled narcissist who knew exactly how to expertly manipulate her emotions and perceptions. As their relationship progressed, Yri found herself ensnared in a web of manipulation and confusion. Her partner's conniving tactics slowly unveiled themselves, morphing the once-loving dynamic into a nightmare of emotional manipulation and verbal abuse. The initial care and concern became a guise for controlling behavior, leaving Yri feeling trapped and isolated. The depth of the abuse took a devastating turn when the relationship turned sexually abusive and demeaning. Yri recounts the horrifying ordeal of being raped by her partner while she slept, a cruel and violating act that shattered her sense of safety and trust. This traumatic experience marked only the beginning of a series of escalating abusive behaviors, leaving Yri grappling with the emotional aftermath and the daunting reality of what lay ahead. As Yri's story unfolds, you will be left on the edge of your seat awaiting next week's episode that promises to delve deeper into the escalating horrors of her abusive relationship. You'll hear Yri bravely continue to shed light on the escalating abuse and manipulative tactics employed by her narcissistic partner, revealing the unimaginable depths of suffering she endured from the traumatic fall-out. It's all so terribly sad, yet so terribly true. And despite how brutally honest Yri is in her telling of these horrific events and experiences, there are those who will dis-believe and blame Yri for the nightmarish acts of her rapist boyfriend. We all need to take a good, hard look at the circumstances that are shared in this raw and frightful story and learn what it means to “start by believing.” If you're not sure what that really means, read the Start By Believing webpages of End Violence Against Women-International. ()  You'll be doing your part to helping to bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. Which is critically important because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

One of the most difficult components of the sexual assault/rape healing journey is mustering the courage and strength to tell someone else your story. It can be formidable. Daunting even. But many psychologists and sociologists agree that talking about ones own sexual assault or rape experience can help in processing one's emotions, provide a community of survivors that support each other, and create a sense of accomplishment and self-encouragement that provides a strong foundation for ones healing journey. Through my own anecdotal experiences and education I've acquired through formal scholastic channels as well as through professional trainings, I've come to recognize that those victims and survivors of rape and/or sexual assault who choose to talk about a sexual assault or rape experience with someone who is empathic and supportive can lead to some very strong and beneficial outcomes, not the least of which include: 1.     Emotional Validation: Sharing the experience with a supportive person can validate the survivor's feelings and emotions, helping them feel understood and acknowledged. 2.     Reduced Isolation: Discussing the experience can alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness that often accompany trauma, as the survivor realizes they're not alone and have support. 3.     Healing and Coping: Talking about the experience can be a step toward healing. It allows the survivor to begin processing their emotions, which can be a crucial part of coping and moving forward. “Moving forward”—this is where Ashleyann is: she's struggling, but winning. And her winning is providing the ongoing platform she needs for that continued forward drive. Her decision to come on the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories Podcast was the result of months of self-reflection, weighing options, and much contemplation. Ultimately, Ashleyann decided to come on the show, and at the end of her episode experience, Ashleyann said, “I am always, forever going to be so grateful for this.” Ashleyann joins many, many other SASS family members who have expressed very similar sentiments. Don't forget to Start By Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Just a quick announcement explaining why there's not a full episode this week, and to express my gratitude to you, my listeners! Don't forget to Start By Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

It's never easy to talk about a child being sexually assaulted by another family member, a family member who is an older brother, who knows better, who manipulates, strangles, and holds down his younger sister is even more atrocious. No one wants to talk about that. But talking about is what we need to do to help put an end to this wreckage. Ruthie Uhl is willing to tell her perspective. With her now-teenaged-daughters permission, Ruthie describes what this horrific experience did to their family. She tells it without pulling any punches. She describes the complex devastation and desolation that almost caused her daughter to kill herself. And she tells how she and her daughter pulled together to make new lives for themselves out of the wreckage. As you listen to Ruthie's narrative, you'll be struck by her incredible strength and fortitude in facing this harrowing experience. Her story serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Furthermore, it emphasizes the importance of understanding the prevalence of such devastating situations in our society. Join me in gaining insights from Ruthie's journey, and let her compelling narrative be a call to action through increased awareness surrounding familial sexual assault. Here are some important websites and organizations to make yourself aware of, and to financially support, if you're at all able to; every little bit helps.  #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed #safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #ashforduniversity #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

Activation and discretion warning: this episode contains explicit and graphic descriptions of sexual assault and suicidal ideation. Caution and action are required. This episode is not for children. Please use extreme discretion in listening to this episode and if you are activated or triggered and need help, call the national sexual assault telephone hotline at  1-800.656.hope; that's 1-800-656-4673. Or if you need help with suicidal ideation, call the National Suicide Holine at 9-8-8. In last week's episode, Lee Cooper began his story of childhood sexual assault by telling us how it was affecting him as an adult. This week, he continues with those impacts and talks about how he managed to survive the scary and powerful suicidal ideation that permeated his life. This is the continuing story of struggle and devastation that Lee's assault had on him and the daily aspects of trying to survive; the assault when he was 10-12 years of age impacts him still. Lee describes in detail how he has managed to navigate all the horrific and painful aspects of his healing journey. One of the most healing aspects of Lee's tragic childhood and adulthood has been his study of photography and his growing photography business.  His picture taking is a particularly strong aspect of his healing. It takes him to glamorous, interesting, and challenging locations all over the world, provides him with new and fascinating friends, amazing photography targets, and the potential of financial opportunity. And his picture-taking abilities are exquisite. So much so in fact, that he has been invited to display his work at a prestigious, solo, three-month exhibit starting on December 9th of this year, and going through March 9th of 2024.  The Oldham Gallery will feature Lee's work. In a recent publication, the gallery boasted of Lee's work this way: Oldham-born Lee Cooper has travelled the world capturing the mundane snippets of life in all their glory and wonder, through his photography. From Blackpool to Las Vegas, his work focuses on the moments of existential loneliness in the humdrum moments of life in a societal system that appears to be crumbling away. If you're anywhere near Oldham, England Dec. 9th thru March 9th, make the well-worth-it effort to go see Lee's exhibit. Thank you for tuning in to Part 2 of Lee's story. It's the inspirational conclusion to this powerful, meaningful expression of Lee's ability to overcome the horrors he endured. Until then, please remember to “like,” rate, and subscribe to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. It will contribute to you doing your part to help bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. You can also do this when you Start By Believing, because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault.   Please visit these links: Instagram: @coopscw Instagram: @plcnowhere #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #janbroberg #safeinharmsway #epizonstrategy #intentionallyfearless #thelastimsorry #feelingsmall #sasspodcast #retiredcop #traumainformed #traumainformedexpert #sexassaultvictim #survivorsunite #rapevictim #retireddetective #sexualassaultsurvivorstories #podcast #markelconsulting #jessicapridelawfirm #gettraumainformed#safeinharmsway #projectbeloved #saan #irishangel #crimevictimsassistancecenter #coloradoassociationofsexcrimeinvestigators #girlsfightback #outdoordefense #worthfightingfor #thejanbrobergshow #thrivivors #thejanbrobergfoundation #sassyselfdefenseguide #ericbarreras #badassselfdefense #imworthfightingfor #vawa #baylor #ashforduniversity #uofaglobalcampus #psychologymajor #amandacoleman #remembermolly #fightrapeculture #forcescience

In June of this year, I was contacted by true-crime author, Jamie Collins, who sent me a press release about a new book she was publishing, I am Abigail. The press release was extensive, but for an explanation about the book, here is just a portion of the release that I received: Written in the first person from Abby's perspective, I AM ABIGAIL is the result of an intense creative collaboration, a memoir striking for its unflinching honesty and emotional intimacy. Abby tells her story, starting with her earliest memories at age eight, when she was Abigail Rodriguez and living with her single mother, older (by two years) sister, and younger (by one year) brother in a house filled with people laughing, dancing, kissing, drinking, and smoking all day and night. As a girl, Abby had no idea that her home was a crack house. She remembers her mom urging her to stand up on the coffee table in their living room and dance for the men. And she remembers the day in May of 1988 when a caseworker from Child Protective Services (CPS) knocked on the door of their home and took Abby and her siblings away.      After a brief stay in a shelter, Abby learns that she and her sister and brother will be flying on an airplane to Hawaii. That's where her Uncle Chevo lives, and he and his wife, Laura, have agreed to assume care of his half-sister's three children. Sad about leaving Texas and her mom forever but also excited about living on an island, Abby begins to wonder, Is there a big yard to play in? Will I have my own room? On their last night sleeping at the shelter, Abby keeps tossing and turning in her bed. Suddenly, she has a memory of the last time she saw her uncle. She was five or six, and her whole family was having fun together, swimming in a pool at a hotel in El Paso. After her mom left to walk her brother and sister back to their hotel room, Abby and her uncle remained in the water, alone together. Uncle Chevo looked directly at Abby and said, “One day, I am going to marry you.” Even then, Abby felt confused and unsettled. She had no inkling of the evil that would soon be making its way to her.      By way of publicity for the book, Jamie offered the opportunity for me to record an interview of Abigail and Jamie for my podcast. It sounded like an offer I shouldn't refuse, so…I didn't. This decision would prove to be an opportunity that I am truly grateful for! I cannot recommend for you to listen to this episode enough; it is intriguing, informative, sad...but mostly immensely critical and important to get this information out to you, my listeners.  This story is important on many levels: educationally about the dynamics of child familial sexual abuse; the sometimes-lacking response of agencies whose job it is to protect children; and the ease of which society can neglect to see a huge problem for what it is. Listen to this episode. Then buy I am Abigail on Amazon. Then tell everyone you know about this episode. Please rate and subscribe to this podcast. And as always…Start by Believing. Because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault. A great big thank you to Abigail Alvarado and Jamie Collins for the interview!  Here are some important links I hope you will utilize:   

Prepare to be riveted as the brave Jennifer, a sexual assault survivor, unravels the story of her grim ordeal in far-off Turkey. Working abroad, Jennifer was in a dire situation with a man she initially considered a friend. He deceived and delivered her to a monster who attempted to rape her.     Her story is not only a testament to her resilience, but it also stands as a beacon of hope for survivors globally. Join us on this journey from the depths of despair to the heights of spiritual wisdom and healing. Join us as we dive into Jennifer's world, where she discusses her podcast, Trauma Rewired, Neurology, and Somatic Healing. The Podcast teaches you about your nervous system, how trauma gets stored in the body, and what you can do to heal.  She aims to empower other survivors like her, to heal and rewrite their narratives.  Check out Trauma Rewired: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-rewired/id1537602643.  Her story is not only a testament to her resilience, but it also stands as a beacon of hope for survivors globally. Join us on this journey from the depths of despair to the heights of spiritual wisdom and healing.·       Share the I Need Blue Podcast with at least one person to spread awareness and healing.·       Seek help if needed and prioritize your own well-being.Connect with Jen: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ineedbluepodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/needbluepodcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp1q8SfA_hEXRJ4EaizlW8QWebsite: https://ineedblue.net/Support the show

Ray spoke on the sentence of a man, guilty of sexually assaulting multiple women.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Valiant Richey started his career as a prosecutor, where he moved to the Special Assault Unit, handling sexual assault, child exploitation, and human trafficking cases for a decade. He now works for the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE), an organization that works on security issues and human rights for 57 countries. Val is an ambassador for the organization, working with countries on how they can better combat trafficking. His extensive experience and work with so many countries give him unique insight into how consistent the patterns and functions of human trafficking are from country to country.In this episode, Valiant talks about how trafficking is fed by a demand for people willing to pay for sex. He explains how sexually explicit material further drives the demand for sexual violence and sex trafficking and the connection between how victims are treated and their abusers' use of pornography. Valiant discusses how rampant sex trafficking is and what we can do to address it on a macro level, as well as individual shifts in our perspective and attitudes towards sex buying can help decrease the demand for sex trafficking.Article: How Porn Can Fuel Sex TraffickingVideo: Truth About Porn: Valiant RicheyPodcast: Consider Before Consuming, Episode 90: Taina Bien-AiméVisit: Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe

https://amzn.to/3mxdCnS - Grab Brandon's NEW book 'Be Extraordinary: Your Guide To Self-Mastery'!https://www.bebetterindustries.com - Book Brandon to help your leadership team become more influential and achieve self-masterySpeak Up, Stand Strong: Surviving Domestic ViolenceCourage isn't the absence of fear, it's the triumph over it. Michelle Jewsbury, my guest on The Be Better Broadcast shares her inspiring journey of resilience and courage, and her unimaginable story of domestic violence.In this vulnerable conversation with Michelle, we dive deep into the hidden world of domestic violence and sexual abuse. We will cover 

Hot Topics of the week. Rapper Sukukani

Anneke Lucas's story is nearly impossible to comprehend. Anneke was sold by her mentally-ill mother into a murderous, pedophile network at age 6. There she endured endless hours of rape and torture at the hands of powerful men from around the world. For 5.5 years the sex slavery continued with no hope of escape. It wasn't until she was staring at her would-be murderer that she was miraculously saved. There began a long and impossible road of unlearning and healing from unmanageable trauma. To her dismay mental health professionals were unable and unwilling to delve into her story and help her heal. It felt as if the horrible things would remain with her forever.It was then that she found a therapist and a yoga practice that brought hope that things might get better. Those same practices have since brought transformation for so many others through her work as a yoga therapist. Her story proves that people can overcome even the darkest moments a human can experience. Episode ResourcesWebsite | annekelucas.comConnect with AnnekeInstagram | @anneke.lucasConnect with The Courage to ChangePodcast Website | lionrock.life/couragetochangepodcastPodcast Instagram | @couragetochange_podcastYouTube | The Courage to Change PodcastTikTok | @ashleyloebblassingamePodcast Email | podcast@lionrock.lifePodcast Facebook | @thecouragetochangepodcastLionrock ResourcesLionrock Life Mobile App | lionrock.life/mobile-appSupport Group Meeting Schedule | lionrock.life/meetings 

One of the women targeted by the brothers convicted of rape and drink-spiking at Christchurch bar Mama Hooch says she is relieved the pair's identities have been revealed. Danny and Roberto Jaz were named yesterday as the pair convicted on dozens of charges, including rape, sexual violation and drink-spiking, after supression orders were lifted. Adam Burns reports.

In July of 1993, the father of basketball legend Michael Jordan went missing. James Jordan had been driving back home from a dinner with friends and mysteriously disappeared. Weeks later, his body was discovered in a swamp a state away. Confusion surrounding this case still persists today. What really happened on the night James was killed? And who really wielded the gun that night? Episode Sponsor: The Swiftest Submit questions and case suggestions HERE. Email us at: cantmakethisshituppod@gmail.com Contact us by mail at: P.O. Box 903 Solvang, CA 93464   Source Material: Moment of Truth James R. Jordan, Sr.  Michael Jordan's Sister Accused James Jordan of Sexual Assualt in Darkest Story of the Family Parole denied for man convicted in the murder of Michael Jordan's father Man convicted of killing Michael Jordan's father fires attorney at court hearing that could have led to a retrial  

A fourth man charged with sexual violation connected to Christchurch bar Mama Hooch is standing trial. The accused is friends with two other men found guilty last week of a raft of charges including rape and drugging women at the same bar. A third man was found not guilty of stupefying and rape, but guilty of supplying a Class B drug. Reporter Adam Burns was at Christchurch District court today.  

In July of 1993, the father of basketball legend Michael Jordan went missing. James Jordan had been driving back home from a dinner with friends and mysteriously disappeared. Weeks later, his body was discovered in a swamp a state away. Confusion surrounding this case still persists today. What really happened on the night James was killed? And who really wielded the gun that night? Episode Sponsor: The Swiftest Submit questions and case suggestions HERE. Email us at: cantmakethisshituppod@gmail.com Contact us by mail at: P.O. Box 903 Solvang, CA 93464   Source Material: Moment of Truth James R. Jordan, Sr.  Michael Jordan's Sister Accused James Jordan of Sexual Assualt in Darkest Story of the Family Parole denied for man convicted in the murder of Michael Jordan's father Man convicted of killing Michael Jordan's father fires attorney at court hearing that could have led to a retrial  

History tells us who we are and how we came to be who we are. It also allows us to look back and see how far we've come as people and societies. Of course, history also has the power to show us how little has changed over time. John Wood Sweet, a professor of history at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and author of the book, The Sewing Girl's Tale: A Story of Crime and Consequences in Revolutionary America, winner of the 2023 Bancroft Prize in American History, joins us to investigate the first published rape trial in the United States and how one woman, Lanah Sawyer, bravely confronted the man who raped her by bringing him to court for his crime. Show Notes: https://www.benfranklinsworld.com/354 Join Ben Franklin's World! Subscribe and help us bring history right to your ears! Sponsor Links Colonial Williamsburg Foundation Women's History Month at Colonial Williamsburg Complementary Episodes Episode 020: Kyle Bulthuis, Four Steeples Over the City Streets Episode 069: Abby Chandler, Law, Order, and Sexual Misconduct in Colonial New England Episode 113: Brian Murphy, Building the Empire State Episode 174: Thomas Apel, Yellow Fever in the Early American Republic Episode 185: Joyce Goodfriend, Early New York City & Its Culture Episode 190: Jennifer Goloboy, Origins of the American Middle Class Episode 225: Elaine Forman Crane, The Poison Plot: Adultery & Murder In Colonial Newport Episode 257: Catherine O'Donnell, Elizabeth Seton An Early American Life Listen! Apple Podcasts Spotify Google Podcasts Amazon Music Ben Franklin's World iOS App Ben Franklin's World Android App Helpful Links Join the Ben Franklin's World Facebook Group Ben Franklin's World Twitter: @BFWorldPodcast Ben Franklin's World Facebook Page Sign-up for the Franklin Gazette Newsletter

The victim of sexual assault and being almost murdered talks openly about:Her not-so-easy childhoodThe length of time she knew her boyfriend before the tragedy that she became part of that included how the morning started, what she saw when she walked into her boyfriend's apartment, and all the horrific events that transpired after being locked in.The moment she escaped and where she went. What he was found guilty of, the appeal process, and Ashley's thoughts on the justice system. Were there warning signs prior and how she is coping with all the PTSD, depression, and anxiety.Her book “Finding Strength Through Tragedy” being part of her healing process. Is there strength in trauma? Did this horrific crime teach Ashely anything? The challenges she still encounters and has she been able to have relationships since? Ashley Michelle Links:Website: https://ashleyinspires.com/YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ashleyinspires8770Buy book- Finding Strength Through Tragedy: https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Strength-Through-Tragedy-Michelle/dp/0995898626/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2JSXZEWNWLH68&keywords=Finding+strength+through+tragedy-+ashley&qid=1676577807&sprefix=finding+strength+through+tragedy-+ashley%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-1 Free As a Tee:  https://freeasatee.com/ Before the Lights Podcast Links:Become a BTL Member: https://www.beforethelightspod.com/supportTHE LIGHT: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_cBUd3MLwoejlVpn5Vt9JAHire Tommy to Speak: https://www.beforethelightspod.com/public-speakingjeBuy Tommy a glass of vino here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/beforethelightsSupport the showFollow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beforethelightspodcast/Follow the show on Face Book: https://www.facebook.com/beforethelightspodcast/Follow the show on Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@beforethelightspodcast?lang=enFollow Tommy on Face Book: https://www.facebook.com/tcanale3Rate & Review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/before-the-lights/id1501245041Email the host: beforethelightspod@gmail.com

In episode 1399, Jack and Miles are joined by writer, speaker, social justice educator and host of Black Fat Femme, Dr. Jon Paul Higgins, to discuss… White Guys Are Doing Great! Biden Also Collected Classified Documents It Seems, Kim Kardashian's Flour Bombing Was a Hoax, Mel Gibson Is Reportedly Making Passion Of The Christ II: Cruise Control and more! The Sports Scandal Almost Nobody Is Talking About TRUMP ALLY AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT DISMISSER MATT SCHLAPP ACCUSED OF GROPING GOP STAFFER'S CROTCH Biden Also Collected Classified Documents It Seems Biden and his White House legal team don't know exactly what's in classified documents found in private office, sources say There's a key difference between the classified documents found at a former Biden office and the ones Trump kept at Mar-a-Lago, national security expert says Kim Kardashian's Flour Bombing Was a Hoax Mel Gibson Is Reportedly Making Passion Of The Christ II: Cruise Control Mel Gibson Had To Be Removed As Grand Marshal Of A Mardi Gras Parade After Someone Mistakenly Thought That Was A Good Idea 'The Resurrection:' Hollywood Producer Aims for God's Sequel to 'The Passion' The Greatest Story Never Told LISTEN: What You Owe by The BreathSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The doctrines of agency, accountability, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ lay the foundation for understanding the devastating issue of sexual assault. Click here to view the speech. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sources:A&E Hunting JonBenet's Killer: The Untold Storymeow.comstatementanalysis.comwikipedia.orgJonBenet An American Murder.Mysterysalon.comThe Case of JonBenet Ramseynytimes article from 1993autopsyfiles,orgYouTube.com

No one can ever prepare you for being sexually assaulted, nevermind how to live life after the fact. So what are the next steps? What kind of help is out there for the survivors? Tune in for this discussion with Sexual Assault Advocate Grace Catan, and find out about some of the great resources out there.

Matthew Bocchi's father was one of the many who lost their lives on September 11th. The news came in a highly censored manner. His mom and uncle told him what they thought was best for his young mind, but it wasn't enough for him. He wanted to understand all of the story.He became obsessed with the images of people jumping from the building and wondered daily if his father had been one of them. He badgered everyone around him, hoping one of them could tell him the truth. Eventually one person did talk to him, his uncle by marriage, but used it as a means to sexually assault Matthew. And thus began a life of using drugs to cope with devastating loss and psychological trauma. Matthew eventually chose to press charges against his persecutor only to find the legal system failing to find a verdict equal to crime. It was when he felt like there were no more options and his life was ruined, that his father came to him in the form of a sign. And in that moment, he decided to get help.Matthew began speaking in front of high school audiences throughout the tri-state area, delivering a message of hope and perseverance. The awestruck reception led him to write his debut memoir, SWAY, the first story told by a child of 9/11. He is now 7 years into his recovery journey, with plans to continue writing and speaking about inspiration and resilience.Episode ResourcesWebsite | matthewjohnbocchi.comSway | Matthew's BookConnect with The Courage to ChangePodcast Website | lionrock.life/couragetochangepodcastPodcast Instagram | @couragetochange_podcastYouTube | The Courage to Change PodcastTikTok | @ashleyloebblassingamePodcast Email | podcast@lionrock.lifePodcast Facebook | @thecouragetochangepodcastLionrock ResourcesLionrock Life Mobile App | lionrock.life/mobile-appSupport Group Meeting Schedule | lionrock.life/meetings

Activist-educator Cara Tuttle Bell is a trained attorney and powerful speaker on sexual harassment and assault prevention. Her work on college campuses dealing with sexual harassment and assault inspired her to train women on how to build assertiveness. She says it is crucial to communication, personal safety, and overall wellbeing. Cara also gives workshops on speaking with authority in salary negotiations, relationships, and work meetings. Her new book "Drowning in Timidity: Women, Politeness, and the Power of Assertive Living" is a must-read, especially for those who think being assertive is synonymous with being aggressive.    In this episode Dr. mOeand Cara discuss these topics: How to be direct without being aggressive Practicing salary negotiation Sexual Harassment in corporate America Why children must be taught assertiveness Bystander intervention in assault prevention Handling sexual misconduct in schools Moral courage, trauma-informed training and more... Visit Cara's website and connect with her online @caratuttlebell today! Transcript (auto generated) [00:00] Cara Tuttle Bell: I also hope that we can move away from this very gendered and loaded idea of assertiveness and understand it for what it really is, which is just being direct, being clear, being fair, considering the competing interests that might be in a meeting or a conversation and engaging equitably with one another. [00:27] Dr. mOe Anderson: Hey, everybody. Welcome to Perpetual Motion, a podcast focused on wellness, personal growth, culture, and relationships. Positive relationships. I'm your host, Dr. Mo Anderson. Bestselling author, award winning podcast host, keynote speaker, and speaker coach. Sometimes I interview expert guests, like today, and sometimes I do a solo show. But my goal is always the same I want to help you. Yes, you review, renew, and re you at the end of each show. I hope you have learned something that will elevate you to the next level of success. If you're new to the show or a returning visitor, let's make this official. Click that subscribe button to be notified of new episodes as soon as they are available. Also, help us grow and reach more listeners by raiding the show and leaving a comment. Just type a little bit. Just a little something, something. All right, stay tuned, because today my special guest is Kara Tuttle Bell. She is a powerful speaker on sexual harassment and assault prevention. What do we need? Some powerful speakers on that. And she also is an expert on why assertiveness is a crucial component of communication, personal safety, and overall wellbeing, she's got a great book. She's the author of Drowning, intimid, Politeness and the Power of a Certain Living. I'll be right back with Kara Tuttle Bell. You can't say Dr. Mo aintellya the fear might suffer the consequences winter's a failure what are you scared of? Why aren't you afraid? I'd rather live like I'm dying to live and die in the day my heart is pure my soul is safe tara, welcome to Perpetual Motion. [02:35] Cara Tuttle Bell: Hi. Thank you so much for having me today. [02:37] Dr. mOe Anderson: This is exciting. I haven't had a guess with your background or for this particular topic. I mean, assertiveness as part of communication is not something that we really think about. In fact, women get criticized for that a lot when they can just be the same way as a guy. And also, sexual harassment, I don't know if it's on the rise or we're talking about it more, but these are such important topics, and I'm glad you're here to help us understand better. Let's start with assertiveness. Why do we need to be more assertive? [03:11] Cara Tuttle Bell: I really hope that we can reclaim assertiveness. I think there are so many reasons that we need to show up and assert ourselves, both for ourselves and for others. I also hope that we can move away from this very gendered and loaded idea of assertiveness and understand it for what it really is, which is just being direct, being clear, being fair. Considering the competing interests that might be in a meeting or a conversation and engaging equitably with one another and I. [03:46] Dr. mOe Anderson: Hope we can as well. And I don't know the history behind it, but I just think about women who run for office or women who are in positions of authority and it seems like they just held to a whole another standard when it comes to confidence and communication. Do you know the origin of that? Is it just the role of women evolving or what the heck? [04:12] Cara Tuttle Bell: I mean, I think we are in the midst of it. I think we are watching this play out. Unfortunately, there are still too few women in these historically maledominated spaces so they remain judged and evaluated by old fashioned norms about male behavior and what we thought male leadership is and male courage looks like and really white male visions of that in most industries, but especially politics, as you mentioned. I think it is very hard for them to walk this tightrope or strike the right balance and get evaluated in the same way. I mean, they're just not we hear it on the news, we see it in the comment section of websites. You see it in headline after headline. You see it on Twitter where women are being judged more harshly for engaging directly, for having stances and opinions, which of course they do. And we should welcome that because I think a lot of people are confusing assertiveness and aggression. [05:19] Dr. mOe Anderson: Yes. And that's what we're getting to. And as you said, that what came to mind is even the subtle ways that this plays out. Even when I hear I'm a speaker, you're a speaker. But I'll hear other speakers so often when they quote someone famous, it's always what Patton said, what Lincoln said, what Ray. I hear women at events for women, women speakers and events from women and they don't have one single quote or statistics or anything from another female or for that matter, from even someone of another culture. I'll go out of my way to try to find something from someone in India or Canada or Australia and it's so ingrained that I think some people don't even recognize that they're doing it before a woman speaker. To give an hour speech and never quote a woman. It just blows my mind. [06:17] Cara Tuttle Bell: It does mine too. I completely agree. And I hope others can work intentionally to really diversify their message and their program and their slides and their images. I mean, you have to do the work and a lot of it is internalized. So I know that we're all busy and these women's speakers are probably like, I've got this presentation tomorrow and they may be finalizing their slides, but it's worth doing, right? It's worth doing because so many people are watching and listening. Now, granted, we are trying to make up for these huge gaps in education, right? Especially like in public education in the US. You probably were taught about a lot of men a lot of military generals, we see a lot of quotes from men's sports coaches as well. They're always a go to. These things are much more present in our mind because we're surrounded by those messages. We get them from day one. I mean, everywhere you go in a restaurant, church is off and on. Church, male leaders. So it's like we've been surrounded by male leadership in a lot of different spaces for the bulk of our lives and we've made so much progress, but we're still working to get towards equity. We haven't landed there yet, so we got to do some of this work of undoing to really be better at inclusion. Right? So it's like diversity and inclusion and belonging, which means we got to correct for the past, we got to address those lingering effects of that kind of socialization. And I mean, I do think asserting ourselves in these spaces, whether it's work, our professional relationships, our community works, our churches, is part of that work. It's part of the action that we can take. [08:06] Dr. mOe Anderson: Right. Very good point. And back to what you said earlier, which leads to my next question. What is the difference between being assertive and aggressive? Because I think a lot of people confuse the two. [08:22] Cara Tuttle Bell: I agree. I think we see both and it can be gendered. We have lots of good studies on this. We are just judging women more harshly. But when you look at these things foundationally, like, what does this mean? What is the definition of these words, then? Aggression? Is that steam rolling? Is that coming at something with force? It could be an abuse of power. It can be physical, it can be verbal, it can be using or depriving someone of resources. It's that misuse and abuse that becomes aggression. Right? It can be violent, it can be the unhealthy expression of anger. I'm actually fine with anger because I'll probably come up in some other answers. [09:10] Dr. mOe Anderson: But we don't want to be constructive or destructive. [09:13] Cara Tuttle Bell: It depends, right? It depends how you use it. I don't want us to live in it so much that we're bitter, but I want to harness anger as fuel so that we have that extra boost of energy to assert ourselves. Asserting yourself means you're showing up, you're being present, you're participating, and that varies. You're participating appropriate to your role in the workplace. You're participating on a committee that you're assigned to. You should be doing the work you're being asked to do and doing it fairly. So there's nothing wrong when I go to a meeting with asserting my own ideas, the agenda, my office and what I'm responsible for, and having that open conversation about whatever the decision is right. [10:02] Dr. mOe Anderson: And how we should make it, advocate for ourselves yes. [10:05] Cara Tuttle Bell: And what we should consider. And then it just sits there. It doesn't mean the other person has that obligation to receive it. But I'm showing up and engaging directly and fairly and equitably. So that, to me, is an assertive communication, which differs from really, if you think of, like, an 80s Wall Street type of movie that American, like, I'm going to call my way to the top dog approach. That's really the misuse of that. That's taking it too far. That's aggressive and it's inequitable, right? [10:38] Dr. mOe Anderson: You made me think about I'm glad you said that anger is okay sometimes because I'm here in the south, and we still have a lot of Southern belle mentality, and even when you are slicing and dicing somebody, you need to be smiling and offering them tea as they die. So many things. I had a couple of folks that I was mentoring at a previous company, and they came here from the East Coast, and they were just having such problems with clients because they were just going in just being normal, really being normal, but not the Southern way. And I was like, hey, you're going to have to and this wasn't male or female, but they were female, so they were getting it double. Like, people aren't responding. I was like, you got to go in this way. You got to come in real low and smooth. You got to ask about their children. We cannot just sit down and start talking about business. We got to drink and eat a little bit. There's so many cultural things in a dish. And then you throw these gender stereotypes and biases on top of oh, my God, it makes me weary sometimes. [11:53] Cara Tuttle Bell: It can be exhausting. And this is why I always talk about politeness, because when I'm talking about assertiveness or Serbia training a lot of women and you're right about south, right? It's a different audience sometimes a lot of Southern women in particular are a little resistant. Part of them wants to embrace assertiveness, and then they're like, but it feels too confrontational. It feels unladylike. I mean, I hear these things from them, and I'm like, okay, that word exactly. [12:24] Dr. mOe Anderson: I know you here. [12:30] Cara Tuttle Bell: It is. It's like, why wouldn't we just be pleasant and don't want to create conflict? We like to smooth things out. I'm currently in the south, and we just have to talk through it. And so I'm like, Listen, I'm all for polite behavior, but I'm really for kindness, right? We should be kind to other humans and patient and all of those things, but not to a fault. Not when it keeps us engaging, not when it keeps us from addressing injustice, not when it means that we're always minding our business while harm after harm and types of discrimination keep occurring. Not when it keeps us from having healthy relationships. So this people pleasing or fear of any sort of discomfort or conflict is the root of so many problems, personal and structural, societal. So I really am always advocating for us to bring assertiveness well beyond your salary negotiation conversation. That's when I think people think, okay, I can visit it for five minutes. I can be assertive for this moment in my life that comes maybe every three to five years, and I'm just going to cram for it, too. They just think, give me a script, I'm going to cram for this the night before. And listen, I'll help you with salary negotiation. I will, okay? So you can come to me for the last minute cramming session. But that's not skill building, right? That's like faking until you make it. That's like, I hope you can be assertive and hold for two minutes the next day when you have the conversation, but probably not because you're not practicing this on a daily basis, and it feels too hard when we make it infrequent and high stakes. And so this is about something that really, I think people should embrace as daily practice. It's self care. It's setting boundaries. It's maintaining those boundaries. It helps us have healthy relationships, and it helps us also be really in touch with those times when people are trying to violate our boundaries, where I want you to have anger, I want you to be in touch with that feeling when it comes up for you so you know what it means, but then harness it for maximum impact. And so that's where the anchor is fine. The anger is probably valid. I mean, there's so many valid reasons to be outraged right now. There's so many. But what are we going to do with that, right? Because I don't want people to live in bitterness and resentment. That's the same outcome of not engaging assertively. That's what happens when people are passive or passive aggressive, is that they're holding onto it. So for me, assertiveness is this balance that helps us be healthy on a daily basis and fair. [15:23] Dr. mOe Anderson: I like that you make that point about clients trying to come to you for the last minute. They come to me with their speeches at the last minute. Like delivering communication is a lifestyle. It's a way of life. It's kind of hard to get to that keynote level in a night. And I would think with salary negotiating, too, with what I think I've seen with people who try that cramming type of thing, is that they overcorrect and all of a sudden they're like, and this is what I wait a minute, what is going on? I can't even hear what you're saying because I don't know you. Who are you anyway? [16:00] Cara Tuttle Bell: It is a burst. It is because it's really like they are really trying to summon up the courage. And so it does come up too quickly, too strong. And then I also see people who just can't hold their position. So even if they can say the two sentences that they've memorized to make the ask, they then undo it with that need for pleasantry, if that's okay with you. Exactly. [16:25] Dr. mOe Anderson: You don't mind, and I'm sorry, and. [16:27] Cara Tuttle Bell: If you think it's okay exactly. Yeah. [16:35] Dr. mOe Anderson: I want this. We got to fix this quickly because I got a granddaughter and I want something different for her. Absolutely. All of the young women there's so much going on, as you said, and we're not going to get into that. But this is pressing, clear and pressing issue. Let's go to being assertive. And I'm just guessing you're the expert on this. Sexual harassment is a problem. It's something you have some expertise in and it's a lingering problem. And I think I'm wondering if being timid as well, in no way am I ever trying to make a woman at thought about anything. But if assertiveness when you talk about your safety and well being, if that can in some ways help you with that. But let's just talk about let's start with why in Twin. Is sexual harassment still Jeffrey Epstein a problem? [17:39] Cara Tuttle Bell: It is. And people ask me this a lot. This is my day job, right? This is the kind of compliance job that I have. So I'm trained as a lawyer and I work on a college campus. And so I'm addressing sexual harassment and assault all day, every day and have for the past eight plus years. And I am very passionate about it and become very assertive. And that's like both the personal and professional journey. I used to be. Shy. Law school really helps. But you also can practice, right? A lot of it had to be a willingness to do the practice. So I wasn't born this way. For your listeners, like, definitely this can be learned. I know it can be because I'm sitting here as the proof and the outrage that I have over the issue helps. Right? I mean, the outrage helps. The anger helps. I try to turn it into fuel to push me through the day, to be able to then bring it in a meeting or whatever it is that I'm working on addressing. And what we think in the field is that we're not seeing like a new epidemic. We're just seeing increased awareness, increased reporting of what has for a very long time been very high levels of this type of discrimination and heart. And it is everywhere you look, it is more common in male dominated professions. And you can look for data on this. This is business data, this is insurance policy data. The more there is a disparity in a profession, the more men outnumber women, the more incidents we have. And it's been this way for a long time, the more vulnerable a person in a role is. And that can be geographic isolation, that can be low pay, that can be low influence or authority in the position. That can be the seasonal nature of a position. Whatever it is, it isn't. Giving them security in a position in relation to other people makes them more likely to experience this type of harm. So it remains prevalent because inequity is prevalent and it's connected to the other forms of discrimination. So where you have racism and ableism and transphobia and homophobia and other types of discrimination you're going to also have gender harassment, sexism misogyny, sexual harassment and sexual assault. Now where assertiveness comes in is that the current best practice that we're trying to implement really across the board k through twelve schools it's been in the military they're introducing in churches. I think we're going to see this more and more across corporate America definitely has taken hold in higher ed is by teaching what's called bystander intervention training and that's because we're all bystanders like it or not I mean we're just here navigating the world and you choose and it is a choice whether to be an active or a passive. Bystander now a lot of us were raised to mind our own business. A lot of us worry about the risks of speaking up or of standing. [21:06] Dr. mOe Anderson: Out sometimes and that boys will be boys thing. [21:10] Cara Tuttle Bell: Oh and then the tolerance yes I. [21:12] Dr. mOe Anderson: Had some incidents and it was just blown off like that's just part of it yes and go out of the dark kind of thing like your right. [21:24] Cara Tuttle Bell: We still hear a lot of blaming for the target they're responsible for receiving the harassment and so where I am glad and can promise that there's been progress is a lot of the prevention messages are not so sexist anymore I mean they were they were just sexist application. They were saying women do this to prevent your own assault and we weren't having when I was in college corresponding messaging given to the male students who all of the data suggests are much more likely to be engaging in perpetration regardless of the gender identity of the victim. So men are from all the data we have and that's across fields so it's criminal justice data, psychology, sociology, women's studies that's not actually in dispute. So we haven't realistically confronted the problem for some time but the public health model now is recommending that we teach a lot of bystander intervention and we are so it is now routine practice at colleges and universities in the United States more and more often showing up yes since like 2014 so they're supposed to be doing it. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to reach out. But we're doing it and it's teaching you some strategies. If you see something, say something but it's also giving you choices. So not everyone has to swoop in like a superhero or be loud or address something directly. They can also create a distraction. You can delegate to someone who's better able or who has authority to try to respond when appropriate. We need to think broadly about delegation so it's not necessarily always law enforcement that we're calling it's what's appropriate for the situation. Right. So sometimes it's me like on campus people can call me because it's my job to go do these things and so if someone feels like they don't know what to say or they don't know what to do, who can you take with you? Who can you delegate to? How can you document something? Documentation, we're seeing having really transformative and activist power in recent years, helping us really confront some harsh realities and prove to the doubters some things that a lot of us knew were happening. So sometimes documentation from afar is the thing we can do safely to address an issue. And that takes some nerve too, right? So all of these things we're hoping to equip people to choose from if they are in the midst of situations at risk for sexual harassment or assault, but it can apply to all forms of discrimination. [24:17] Dr. mOe Anderson: What bothers me with the documentation is in the form of a video. If that falls into that category, is when people are just filming just for the purpose of posting and entertaining and not get help. That is just appalling filming women being raped, assaulted and me. And two, to be clear, this cannot just happen to women assault and harassment. Although, as you said, the data shows, it is for adults predominantly going to be women. But are they teaching them that documentation needs to go somewhere and not just post it and hope somebody sees it? Because that's scary to me. [25:02] Cara Tuttle Bell: It is scary. So I'm always making that qualifier. We know that college students consume a lot of video content from some popular sites. And so just quite directly, I'm like, this is not for that. That is not what we're asking you to do. Consent is really key when we're talking about sexual misconduct. Like consent is key. So if you're filming something without someone's consent and you're posting it somewhere without their consent and you're sharing it without consent, you are part of the problem. That's also increasingly illegal, right? So they shouldn't be sharing social content. So yes, I think that is a very important part of the conversation that cannot be left out. I don't care how long the training is running. It's like if you're going to mentioned documentation, you've got to put those really important caveats around it because that's what came to mind. [25:57] Dr. mOe Anderson: And even I believe it's illegal almost everywhere now to post pics the revenge posting of some intimate photo or whatever that was sent to you. And I'm happy that law enforcement and our lawmakers are stepping up, but again, we're looking at largely male populations to make these decisions. So that speaking up and getting involved in folks like you being there to help make this transition is so important. And I was thinking about as well too, to go back to harassment being a lingering problem. We're talking about learned behavior, confidence and being assertiveness. Isn't this sexual harassment? Learned behavior? I can't imagine. I mean, I have two sons. They didn't come here like that. And then heaven forbid that's going on. But from the movies, to their peers, to whatever is of course enough. Do we have to attack all of these industries, magazines and music and everything? Not attack, but you know what I'm saying. [27:05] Cara Tuttle Bell: You know what you mean. It is very concerning, right? Because young people are always getting so many different messages is contradictory messages, right? And so even if they're raised one way, they could then land in a peer environment where they're getting reinforcement on a lot of negative behaviors. And this is true across the board. This could be drug use. This could be alcohol misuse. This could be for like, how they engage in sexual practices. Do they bully and harass people? So that peer dynamic pushes some young people into behaviors they otherwise normally wouldn't engage in on their own. And they tell us that, right? I mean there's really fascinating research on these topics and getting them to display some moral courage, some assertiveness, that's really tough. That is really tough. So we got to really pull it apart. We work through scenarios. We talked to a lot of them about what leadership is because many of them want to be a leader in some capacity and they want to skip over the work, right? They want to just graduate and be like a successful millionaire entrepreneur in their twenty s. And we're talking about like, what skills aren't you practicing and developing? Particularly these students who have been in the home environment, so they didn't have the social experience of the past few years due to COVID on college campuses, we are seeing a developmental delay. I mean, we are like it is not the same incoming class that we had prepandemic in the interpersonal communication skills. So it really did feel like we had these young students kind of just unleashed once some of the restrictions were lifted and they were coming to us with different questions. I don't like my roommate. I don't know how to navigate this conflict, whether it's conflict or laundry or deciding where to eat in a group. So they're just asking us really basic social questions and for tips that they thought they were past at least a few years ago. Now, I always thought they had room for improvement, but it wasn't such a basic level. So I'm very concerned about their ability to engage in sexual communication, ensure that consent is a part of those things, or know and honor resistance and discomfort when they're seeing it. I mean, people are not really teaching them this consistently. So we don't have consistent sex ed in this country. It really depends where they are. A lot of schools are afraid and that's because the parents complain about the type of content. So I very rarely see a college student who has what I would want them to have had before they get to college, which would be medically accurate. Information about their body, the bodies of others. Consent, education boundaries, warning signs of unhealthy relationships. What constitutes stating violence or exploitation, sexual exploitation, a lot of which that like coercion and blackmailing can occur with phones, pictures, and videos now, because otherwise they get here. And people in jobs like mine, we will try to do what we can, but a lot of times they're 18 when they get here. Right. So we've got to engage in some unlearning to try to then relearn or teach them new skills. And, no, they're not getting enough time with me. They're with their peers most of all. And dosage is key. [30:56] Dr. mOe Anderson: Micro dosage. [31:02] Cara Tuttle Bell: We got to talk about what they're learning. Right. And with the availability of online ***********, are they learning more from **** because they're not getting sex at in schools? That is concerning to me. So then it's not surprising when they're reenacting things they saw online and they tell us stuff like, oh, I think they like that. And I'm like, you can't assume everybody likes that. [31:28] Dr. mOe Anderson: That woman or that man is paid. [31:34] Cara Tuttle Bell: It's all about consent. Yeah. We have to help them unpack these things a little bit and work through it. And you touched on this earlier, and this is really important to say is some assertiveness does deter some bad behavior. Not all. Okay. There's always going to be people who are trying to violate our boundaries and trying to cause harm, who are trying to take advantage of a situation so we can't prevent everything. [32:04] Unknown Speaker: Exactly. [32:04] Cara Tuttle Bell: But there is research to support that strong articulation of boundaries. Clear resistance does disrupt and deter some behavior. It may not prevent them from harming someone else, which I understand. They might then just choose another target. But it is worth a try when we think we're in a situation to nip something in the bud early on. Right. And especially if we're talking about sexual harassment in the workplace. Right. Because if the behavior continues and you get to a place where you're going to want to report it or seek some support, they're going to ask if you were clear about your boundaries. They're going to ask the question, did you tell them this makes you uncomfortable? And no, you shouldn't have to. They should just not commit the harm. I agree with you completely. None of this should be happening. But it is happening, and it's happening often. So I do want to just give people as many tools as possible to be able to reduce harm, appease when that's the best choice for safety or extricate yourself from a situation. [33:18] Dr. mOe Anderson: Kara, what about this? I'm thinking about the gymnasts mobiles and others. I mean, they did everything. They reported it. They went to the authorities. I think they went to the FBI. Oh, my goodness. It honestly makes me think about discrimination with African Americans back with the Tulsa Race rides and everything. Who do you turn to when the people coming for you are the people who are supposed to protect you or the people who are. Ignoring it are the authorities. [33:51] Cara Tuttle Bell: It is true and it is so discouraging, okay? Not every human resources department or law enforcement department, these people who are supposed to be who you can turn to, clearly that's not consistently available or going to guarantee success. I mean, very few times can I offer the people I'm working with anything that feels like justice. And that's really disappointing, right? Because a lot of us are raised to have faith in the systems and these procedures. We build trust like that. You hope that your company cares about you, especially if you've worked there for 20 years. We get so many messages about how we care about all these issues, yet when people value submissions, yes, the statements are lovely, but you got to back that up with action. And I know that sometimes the supportive person is hard to find, but I do know because this is my professional network, right? These are the conferences I go to. There are hundreds or thousands of us who do care, and they may not be at your company, okay? They may not be. And a good indication is, look up your sexual misconduct policy. Is it from has anyone updated it since? [35:08] Dr. mOe Anderson: How would you know? Because they'll change the bottom of the document. They'll change the footer on the front page when you look at it. Can you tell from the content that this is not current with our culture and our beliefs now? [35:26] Cara Tuttle Bell: Yes. Right, because a wave of activism on this was in the early to mid 90s, really prompted by Anita Hills testimony during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearing. So that was the Wake up call for America phase one. And sadly, a lot of the work stopped then. So my college students, when they go get at their next job, the ones who maintain contact with us or who took my class, they do things like look up the policy and when was the last time the committee met and what would I do if I experienced sexual harassment in the workplace? And some of them are pretty activist and they ask these questions at the interview. That is risky. You may not get the job offer if you're showing yourself to be what might be perceived as a troublemaker at the interview. But if you care too much about some of these causes that could make the employer nervous, it would be better. [36:21] Dr. mOe Anderson: To know then that HR might be the very person you have to go to. [36:29] Cara Tuttle Bell: Yes, you and I are on the same page. I'm like, there is another job. I promise you there's another job. Sometimes the students are so worried, but I'm like, you need to be interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing you. These are signs. They are telling you whether or not this is going to be a healthy or a toxic or replaced culture, whether or not they're going to cover for people or actually address the things that are happening. But if you can't find it at your school or in your church or at your place of employment, do some Internet research, because there are many nonprofit organizations, regionally, nationally, I'd help anyone find them. There are attorneys who take things pro bono. There are all sorts of resources now to help people across industries. It is sometimes hard to find them, but I know that they're there. I know that they're there because those of us who have experienced these things and have had help now want to extend that help to others because the support is not consistently available. [37:32] Dr. mOe Anderson: No, it's not. But there are so many who have, myself included, being victims of sexual harassment. And I think, in addition to Anita Hill, I feel like Tyrone Burke's Me Too movement, even though it's come under a lot of criticism. And yes, there have been people accused for everything who may have been innocent, even Child Protective Services. There's always going to be that small percentage. But Kara I was at after that happened, and people don't realize she had been talking about that for a while and had that hashtag made too, for some years before it got retweeted following the Harvey Weinstein thing. Weinstein weinstein. And I remember being with some girlfriends. We'd gone to a movie and everybody was talking about hashtag me too. And afterwards we were talking and we got to talking about it. And these were professional women over about six of us. And every single one of us had been a victim of sexual harassment and sexual assault. And none of us were in a position that we felt we can do anything about it and have any support. And that was just it took me weeks just to get over that revelation, because you kind of go around just thinking it's just you like perhaps those young gymnasts were doing, not realizing how many people were being victimized. And we kind of cried together. And when you don't deal with it too, just the post traumatic stress of just being there, and some of that resentment, anger, and explosiveness that it happened and that you weren't able to deal with it. So in addition to you guys teaching these courses and you being there as an advocate, an attorney, a trained attorney, is there also counseling now? Are there more mental health services? [39:29] Cara Tuttle Bell: Yes, we're seeing just a dramatic expansion across higher ed, which is good and overdue around all kinds of counseling and well being. Right. So we'll see a center for student wellbeing, you'll see expanded staff and many more culturally relevant and sensitive trainings and staff to surf particular populations. If you look at the hiring, you just see it everywhere, like in many, many states, that there are so many jobs because this is an urgent issue on college campuses, not just sexual assault, but I mean, the mental health and well being concerned. And yes, right. So if someone were to connect with us, we offer them a menu of services. They can work with victim advocates or they can go to the counseling center. And there's some specialization and sexual trauma or aspects of identity that they can seek out. A provider who they feel comfortable with, who they think gets their experience, but also understands what they're processing. We have yoga, we have meditation, we have study skills, we have financial education that can be necessary. A lot of places have hardship funds, student health. So our medical providers have a lot more understanding of sexual trauma, childhood sexual abuse, because those exams, like the exams you're touching the body, I mean, that can be very triggering for a survivor. And consent is just important in providing information. So everything that I'm seeing is getting more trauma informed. The progress is just slower than any of us would like. Law enforcement also has been getting more trauma informed training over the years. A lot of assumptions about doing the work, which led to really a lot of dismissal of some of the reports because if they interview a sexual assault victim in the immediate aftermath trauma, she's still in the space of trauma. Trauma disrupts memory encoding, like how our brain is storing them and putting them together. So it would be difficult while we're in fight or flight, we're in the adrenaline surge. These things last for days, not just minutes and hours. And so they've learned that conducting open ended interviews after three to five sleep cycles is actually much more likely to produce a coherent narrative with fewer gaps. [42:13] Dr. mOe Anderson: I know for a long time they just kind of thought you just get to them right away, they're going to start making up stuff or imagining stuff or they'll forget. But you're saying the memory can actually oh, that's for the person experiencing that, that's horrible too. But with time it sounds like it's kind of scattered pieces and you can start putting it together a little better. [42:38] Cara Tuttle Bell: You can. And if alcohol is involved and often is not always, but alcohol consumption, whether voluntary or used to commit the crime, that further disrupts that memory consolidation and encoding. And so really sleep and being in a safe environment and emergency rooms aren't always feeling safe. They're like hectic and loud and there's people in and out. So conducting an interview, even with good intentions, even when they want to get the information to try to go try to get the offender as quickly as possible, was not producing good results. So we're seeing new approaches being adopted here and there. Again, it's not everywhere. And I would like it to be, to do things like the forensic experiential trauma interview, that's one called Fetty, where it's training them to build rapport, create a really safe condition so it doesn't feel like we're interrogating a victim, ask open ended questions, let them go where they want to go, right? Because the brain is navigating through fear and trauma and that's not linear and it's not going to be linear but at the end of the conversation or several conversations it should be the job of that investigator to put that story together. So we were really often are making the person who experienced the harm be the crime scene and then do all of the work of reconstructing the narrative and that was just not the best way to get at the information. That's really what we now know about the brain and trauma has really changed the approach in ways that better equip any type of investigator who understands this is the neurobiology of trauma who has this training to ask better questions and get a better narrative and since what we're talking about is often word against word that narrative is crucially important. Sometimes there's corroborating evidence but a lot of times there isn't and so getting that good account from the person who was harmed is tough work but it's. [44:44] Dr. mOe Anderson: Tough work worth doing right and not being dismissed. The big message here, whatever age you are is that there are people out there who will help you, who can help you and systematically it hasn't always been the case and there's still going to be some of the old attitudes and processes out there but don't give up. I mean we're seeing things coming out now about and I don't want to keep naming organizations but just people who were children, male and female and things happen and they're just now getting restitution, getting justice and we don't want to see that anymore. [45:24] Cara Tuttle Bell: No, it takes a long time and it's very important to acknowledge that these harms and this discrimination occurs across identity, right? So it occurs across gender. Identity occurs in all communities whether you're class level and across race. We do know that there's disproportionate impact, right? That some people have more vulnerable characteristics that let them be targeted and also that let them justice system then fail them than others. So absolutely none of this is fair and consistent across the board but help is available if you know where to look and if you don't know where to look reach out to me and I will help you. There are people who will help you find it. [46:10] Dr. mOe Anderson: Thank you for that. We're going to give your information to in the show notes and when we get to the end but before we do I want to know we're talking about assertiveness but how do we if we're not naturally that way unbelievably? I'm not a natural extrovert people have a hard time believing I'm not really but I had to learn it because I was trying to get run over but how can we learn? I mean I just went at it and role model somebody but was better, more systematic. I practiced until it became second nature but what's the more strategic or what is the recommended way to learn assertiveness? And I want to couch that in two ways. One is I've got young people around me. How do I teach them assertiveness in my kind little Southern bobble beltway so that they don't get in trouble at school, but also for people that it's not their nature. And there are a lot of adults, male and females, who just don't want trouble. They just rather not see anything. [47:17] Cara Tuttle Bell: I know it's hard to start, okay? It's hard. And it will feel painful. It will. And I didn't know there were tools around when I was doing it. And so I was like, you have to jump in this conversation. It really was faking it until you make it. But now I know that there are lots of books. There are now. A lot of them came out in the 70s. That's where we saw the debut of assertiveness Training, 70s Women movement. And some of them are still really good foundational texts. Now some of it's going to feel really dated and just if you read those and they're cheap, you can get a lot of these at used bookstores for nothing, for pennies. Just let the dated stuff go and take the lessons where you can find them. Then again, as I mentioned, a resurgence in the 90s, so you might see some of these books available from mid ninety s. A lot of them are really focused on women at work, so they're career focused and they're about being ambitious. But there's some good lessons in there still. Now, what I like about recent products is that they're much more inclusive also, so it's not so stereotypical about men and women. And these are tools for everyone. And this is really good because a lot of people come to the assertiveness training workshops and sometimes they're making assumptions that are just for women. But there are men who feel like they're getting run over in meetings and they don't know how to advocate for themselves either. This really is for everybody. So you can Google assertiveness training. There are lots of free resources on the web. There are books, there are workbooks. I mean, I do have my book. It has some exercises in it. I've got a workbook only that's available on Etsy, but there's lots of name of your book? My book is Drowning and Timidity Women Politeness and the Power of Assertive Living. It is available at my website, karatuttlebell.com, but also for Kendall on Amazon. You can purchase it at Walmart or through professional women books. It lives in a couple of different places, so it's available. It does have exercises in it. Start with self reflection, right? You've got to know who you are and what's hard for you. So we know what to work on. So quick questions would be when you are walking across campus, are you the person who always moves out of the way on the sidewalk or do you hold your position on a plane? Do you ever get the armrest? Or do you never get the armrest in your family or, you know, romantic relationships? Do we ever eat where you want to eat or someone else always making the decision, are you watching the movies you want to watch, or are you just going along? And so there's all kinds of questions to just do some self reflection about where am I and where is it worth it? I'm not saying fight every battle. I don't know what I'm having for dinner tonight. And I may not care when I go home and make that decision with my partner. You know what I mean? It may be their night to pick, but the question is, are you ever getting what you want ever? And where is it important for you to do so? We can apply this to romantic and sexual relationships. Who's experiencing pleasure and how often and why not? And assertiveness matters there, too. Are we giving more than we're getting? And you just apply that give and take analysis that it was Sunday. Yes. Whatever relationship we're talking about. Right? Like, are you feeling taken advantage of or does it feel really balanced and equitable so that you start with the self reflection, then you start with the small practice. I want you to start small. I want it to feel doable. I want you to ask for something that's really low stakes, so it doesn't matter if you get the yes or not. And I also want you to get comfortable getting hearing no. You'll survive the no, it's all right. You survived the tough meeting. We survived the uncomfortable phone call. We've survived it over and over. We've survived it all thus far. Excellent. You will survive. And that's why that's nice. In my career, and I've also learned to perform extraversion, even though I have to retreat and recharge. If you learn you can do it, I'll learn I can do it. I'm going to have this burst of energy. I've also become really good about setting boundaries so I have that time to recharge. That also requires assertiveness. I got to tell my friends I cannot go out again. I'm, like, try to limit to two happy hours or two social events a week. Otherwise, I feel too depleted. And some of us can't say no to our friends who love us anyway. They love me anyway. They know I don't go to brunch. Okay? I don't go to brunch. Brunch is too loud, and I don't understand middle of the day drinking, and. [52:07] Dr. mOe Anderson: They'll tease you about it. We know you're not coming. [52:10] Cara Tuttle Bell: Yes, and it's fine then. It's all fine in other ways. Yes. They know I'll fight for them. They know I've got their back. So your relationships should be strong enough to survive that actually, they should be thriving. It's like they should really be seeing you for who you are and letting you be healthy in the ways that you need and so starting small with the practice just really helps you learn to ask if you have kids. I would say make them make phone calls, maybe put the name in at the restaurant. The students are coming in really struggling with just verbal communication, like out loud communication because they're doing it all on their phones. Okay? They want to text or do an online chat. And we're not preparing them for work. Work still requires some phone calls. I mean, at some point, you have to talk to another human. So you can start small in those ways to make them practice talking and to talk to adults and actually talking across the power differential in appropriate ways. But we got to break the scene and not hurt because seen and not heard is how we have a lot of child victimization. That's how we have the gymnasts, which we talked about going on, going on for so long. How do you have hundreds of victims for so long? Well, they did everything right, as you said. They told us and they told us, and they told us, and they told adults, and they told the FBI, you know, and how does this still continue? So I actually want us to raise angry girls. Write that down. Yes. Because the anger is a signal, as we talked about. If you're stressing politeness over their boundaries and well being, they're not going to acknowledge the harm themselves. They're not going to tell you about it. They're not going to seek support. They're going to be stuck in that self blame. And so let anger be the signal. Let assertiveness be the tool. And then the outcome is healthier beings, right, who once they've learned to advocate for themselves and assert themselves absolutely, I want them to have this sense of collective responsibility. And this is part of my message, which I really think was missing in the books of the in the 90s. You've got to advocate for others. That's what changes our communities. You've got to be a bystander who engages or be the witness who goes along and confirms somebody's report who at least acknowledges the harms that are happening everywhere we look and engage collectively. So it's not assertiveness just to get you a raise, which you deserve, okay, get your rates. But that's changing an individual person's existence. That's not creating change in our communities, structural or systemic change. That's not going to bring about gender equity. So we've got to use assertiveness to change our communities and engage collectively as well. And I think that's been missing in too many places, right? [55:32] Dr. mOe Anderson: And we've been so worried about the cost ourselves individually and not thinking about long term the consequences for generations to come, like the inequity with salaries and so many other things. When we think about what the CEOs of the Fortune 500, fortune 100 company, 4% women, all of this is related. It's all related, and it's time we changed it. And start by not being bystanders. Get out there and be advocates and leaders in this area. I love what you're doing. I could just go on and on. We need to do a live or something because I have enjoyed this and your passion around it is wonderful. I learned a lot. I didn't know what was going on on college campuses. I go back for football games and roll out. I couldn't use some of this. Trust and believe. So again, karate. Tuttle Bell, author of Drowning In That You Drowning in Women Politeness and the Power of Assertive living Tools and Tips to help anyone get it. Wherever books are sold, tell them how to connect with you online. That website one more time. Social media. However, we can find you online. [56:49] Cara Tuttle Bell: Sure. The easy way is to find me on my website, which is my name Caratuttlebell.com, and then you can find me on various forms of social media at Karatuttlebell. So I tried to make it easy. You reached out to me on LinkedIn, Instagram, doesn't matter. I'm publicly available. Feel free to reach out. I'm always happy to talk about this, as you can probably tell. [57:09] Dr. mOe Anderson: I can tell. I love it. And I can't wait to call my son and say, brave, angry girl. That's what we're going to be about. Thank you so much. You've been a wonderful guest. [57:21] Cara Tuttle Bell: Thank you so much for having me. [57:24] Dr. mOe Anderson: Wasn't that a great program? I love that episode. I enjoyed it. I hope you did too. Please remember to like, subscribe and share. Learn more about me on my website. Dr. Moanderson.com. That's Moe. You can read book excerpts, watch videos, learn about the services that I offer, and book me for a speaking engagement. I'd love to talk with your group and I'd love to work with you. So until the next time, review, renew, and re you. Thank you.

Stacy Webb is a former police officer and detective in Sydney, Australia. The traumatic experiences she witnessed left her with several PTSD symptoms. Mental health and personally for her, first responder mental health has become a passion. Now, as an Intuitive Trauma Release mentor, she gives back to others. She recently published a book , The Intuitive Detective by Stacy Webb.  We will talk about policing in Australia vs the United States; while they are different trauma is the same. Sometimes people forget that it is still a human being under the uniform. Next, what is intuitive trauma release?  You will learn as she shares some tools she uses. For me, I am always open to listening to new ways of healing. At the end of the day, you always need to choose what is best for you. 

There are no certified sexual assault nurse examiners who are based on Oregon's North Coast. Currently, there is one certified nurse who is based in Portland and works intermittently in Astoria. This means for those who choose to report their assault, they will likely need to travel to Portland for an examination when this nurse is unavailable. Survivors are often told to wait for several hours until a certified nurse is available and are also instructed not to shower or change clothes during this waiting period, discouraging many from continuing the process. Abbey McDonald is a reporter for the Astorian. She joins us to share more on her reporting and how the lack of these specialized nurses are affecting the North coast.

In the final episode for our Horror Comedy month, we are looking at Jennifers Body from 2009. This is a really good episode, as we pull back the curtain on a deeply misunderstood & underappreciated film. CW/TW for the episode: Rape, Sexual Assualt, Trauma. We get into the production of the film & what was missing in the final product. We talk about the real themes of the film and the messages it's trying to get across. Was this film ahead of its time? and how would it be viewed if made today. We tackle how harrowing aspects of the film are if you really break them down and how this is a really important film from a female perspective. Leigh gives her thoughts on how it handles some of the more important subjects in the film and whether they are portrayed correctly. We also get into the characters, script, humour and why we think some people would have a hard time with it. All of this and a lot more in this episode. Press that play button now and join us on our trip to Devil's Kettle… Find us on Social Media: Twitter: SIMAHFPOD Instagram: soimarriedahorrorfan Tumblr: soimarriedahorrorfan

In light of the Depp v. Heard defamation case, we discuss reporting responsibly and respectfully on violence and harassment. We highlight the Our Watch Fellowship program and unpack the role the fourth estate has in preventing violence. Tina Quinn spoke with Lin Evlin, SBS News journalist, and Helen Pitt, Sydney Morning Herald journalist. Listener discretion is advised.

This is part two of a series exploring, through personal stories, how the experience of prior sexual assault can show up when we give birth. Rebecca shares the incredible story of the birth of her fourth child, born at just 32 weeks, in a teaching hospital. This is one of the most emotionally intense stories I have ever recorded, both in its beauty and pain. (Please note that while we do discuss sexual assault, this conversation does *not* contain a description of sexual assault). You can follow Rebecca on instagram @cosmic_love_child JOIN OUR ONLINE MEMBERSHIP HERE! https://www.healingbirth.net/membership If you love the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon/healingbirth JOIN OUR LIVE WEBINAR EVENT: Discovering Your Mothering Superpower with Emily Bruce on May 15, 2022 4PM PST https://www.healingbirth.net/event  

[Icon Photo: Victim Erica Butler]In our 3rd and final part of this roller coaster ride of an investigation, Marci Adkins and Matt Brotherton describe how a suspect seeming appears out of nowhere through an older DNA sample, and justice is complete.Hear more about:·         More about sex kits and why they sat for several years, and how that is being resolved·         5th victim of sexual assault identified from 1998·         Another suspect comes into playShow Notes, and Transcript, are found HERE.Smells Like HumansLike spending time with funny friends talking about curious human behavior. Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyGo to the Murder Police Podcast Merch Store HERE

[Icon Photo: Victim Doris Roberts]Continuing the hard-fought battle for justice on behalf of victims Sonora Allen, Doris Roberts and Erica Butler, we will hear in Part 2 more about:·         The testing of untested sexual assault examination kits using grants·         Victim Erica Butler is found dead in 2006·         Bizarre behavior in a suspect interview that seems to shore up his involvement·         Another DNA sample that did not hit and in fact aided in exoneration·         “Congratulations, my friend, you have a serial killer” Marcie Adkins·         Feeling the heat on the investigation get turned up in the PD·         A witness provides a broad description of a suspect·         A 1993 kit is processed where an 83 year old woman was raped in her home.  She provides a more narrow suspect description·         Another suspect is identified and launches an in depth investigation that included detail cleaning an entire parking lot, with a crazy endingShow Notes, and Transcript are HERE.Smells Like HumansLike spending time with funny friends talking about curious human behavior. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Garden Basics with Farmer FredThe healthiest food you can eat is the food you grow yourself. We have the tips!Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyGo to the Murder Police Podcast Merch Store HERE

[Icon Photo: Victim Sonora Lynn Allen]Get you index cards, string, push pins and a marker ready; you're going to have to put this one together with the murder cops and scientists on this case!We hear the stories of serial killers all of the time, once they have been convicted and put away.  But what is it like to be a homicide investigator watching several cases spanning as many years, unmask a monster?Take a listen as our Forensic Scientist Marci Adkins from the Kentucky State Police Crime Lab returns to our show, joining former homicide investigator Lt. Matt Brotherton from the Lexington Police Department, and hear exactly how this goes down.Come aboard the roller coaster of suspects found and suspects lost, as science works in the background: exonerating those not involved, and lasering in on the murderer.  You will sense the pressure applied and learn how to use restraint in the most challenging situations.In Part 1 of 3:·         We welcome back Marci Adkins and meet Lt. Matt Brotherton·         We talk about how homicide investigations differ from other investigations·         “The magic of CODIS” as described by Marcia Adkins·         Murder victim Sonora Allen is found dead in August 2002·         The start and finish of many disappointing DNA results·         Murder victim Doris Roberts from 1999 DNA links to Matt's Allen case·         And, when cases go coldShow Notes, including Transcript, are HERE.Smells Like HumansLike spending time with funny friends talking about curious human behavior. Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyGo to the Murder Police Podcast Merch Store HERE

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. To honor it, today's episode is on HR 4445, Title IX, and Sexual Assualt and Mrs. Shannon Berkheiser and Mr. John Davis join us to discuss this important and sensitive topic. We encourage you to pray before listening and be aware of your surroundings. Today's episode is not appropriate for all audiences. If you are a victim or know of a victim of sexual assault, please call 911, or visit cedarville.edu/titleix for more information. Find this new episode on all major platforms including Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts, or look for the Cedar60 Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts! Don't forget to subscribe and follow us on social media by searching for the @cedar60podcast! Thanks so much for listening!

Hola! TRIGGER WARNING: WE DO SPEAK ABOUT SA, EATING DISORDERS, DEPRESSION & OTHER MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSIS. By recognizing our misuse of mental health terms we can begin to reduce stigma, so people are better able to find the help they may need. In today's society, we tend to overuse these terms and freely "diagnose" someone without any knowledge of mental health. Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TLNTT)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I START WITH A QUICK STORY FROM MY PERSONAL LIFE. I GIVE YOU 3 SHOCKING STORIES THAT DEMONSTRATE HOW HARD WOMEN HAVE IT. I  FINISH UP WITH A LITTLE DISCUSSION ABOUT JANUARY 6TH AND WHO SHOULD REALLY BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

In the aftermath of the #metoo movement, how can we approach trauma like a Boss Mama? In this episode, Analiza talks with Chinese American Melissa Ng Goldner. Melissa shares her journey from being known as the kid who carried a violin at school to being sexually abused and raped. In Boss Mamas, we talk about how breakdowns lead to breakthroughs. Some of the biggest growth in our lives often comes from the hardest things we face. Melissa shares how today, she is grateful for these experiences. These breakdowns helped her be the woman and mom she is today. Melissa has taken that anger and pain and used it to fuel her mission - uplifting the voices of marginalized women.  Get full show notes and more information here:  Ep 4 - From Trauma to Healing with Melissa Ng Goldner — Analiza Wolf

On this special edition of Dark Sabre, we explore some time sensitive information. With the ever polarizing topic of the Covid 19 vaccine a daily talking point, we have to address the most recent developments on how this effects our military brothers and sisters…And how challenging times/issues can bring out the true colors in people. To Vax or Not To Vax…That is the choice that may leave some out in the cold.Thank you to our guests:Sgt. Karli Klinger - IG @Karli.KlingerLindsay Rowland - IG @carryon_podcast ~ Podcast graphics by Navy Veteran *Brandon Tomason*, Owner and head designer of Veterans Apparel IG: @veterans.apparel Website: Veteransapparel.org , ~Music by Army Veteran, musician, artist, activist *YETI TEARS*IG: @yetitearsSpotify: Yeti Tears Twitch: yetitears ~HonorHillTacticalIG & Facebook: @honorhilltactical Links: https://linktr.ee/HHTmedia , ~Adam DeRitoIG: @adam.deritoFacebook & Twitter: Adam DeRito ~Dogs4Vets trains and certifies Veterans and service dogs as a team. Dogs4Vets began back in 2012 with the simple mission— to help Veterans get back on their feet and live a full life. Now 9 years later they have helped train over 800 Veteran/service dog teams. Learn more about Dogs4Vets, their mission, and how to get involved or donate.IG: @dogs4vets_Website: dogs4vets.org ,