Childless not by Choice

  Hello, and welcome to episode 175 of the Childless Not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless women and men not by choice worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, and fulfilled lives, childless by choice.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Father's Day and Men's Health   Thank you, Patreon contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors, who support the platform every month.    Your contributions help me pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, and other expenses. Thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: FATHER'S DAY  MEN'S HEALTH  So, well before President Biden's prostate cancer diagnosis, I had planned on discussing men's health for this year's Father's Day episode. In particular, I wanted to discuss causes of male childlessness, such as Azoospermia.  I've decided to put links in the show notes in regards to Azoospermia. Please check out the links for further information.  The basic definition of Azoospermia per The Cleveland Clinic website is:   ‘Azoospermia means there's no sperm in your ejaculate. Its causes include a blockage along the reproductive tract, hormonal problems, ejaculation problems or issues with testicular structure or function. Many causes are treatable. For other causes, it may be possible to retrieve live sperm to be used in assisted reproductive techniques like IVF.‘    As I think back through my episodes, I don't believe I've ever discussed men's health, or medical reasons men may be childless.  We've discussed fibroids, PCOS, endometriosis, adenomyosis, miscarriage, running out of time, aka the biological clock, MRKH, etc.  But I've never gone into much detail regarding issues surrounding the causes of childlessness in men.    I have had the great opportunity to interview several men about their experiences with childlessness, including how they have dealt with it. I will put links in the show notes on interviews I have conducted over the years with these wonderful men. Be sure to take a listen!    I also believe male childlessness is not as openly discussed as female childlessness because men and their spouses may find the issue embarrassing, shocking to their ego in a different way than a woman may feel about her childlessness, or maybe in much the same way.  In either case, there can be emotional and mental pain.    Some of the things that can cause infertility in men include:   AI Overview Male infertility can be caused by a variety of factors, including problems with sperm production or quality, hormonal imbalances, genetic disorders, infections, and environmental factors. Additionally, lifestyle choices like smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and certain drug use can also contribute to infertility.  Here's a more detailed look at some of the key causes: 1. Sperm Problems: Low sperm count (oligospermia): A low number of sperm in the ejaculate. Absent sperm (azoospermia): No sperm in the ejaculate. Poor sperm motility: Sperm are unable to swim properly. Abnormal sperm morphology: Sperm are abnormally shaped, making it difficult for them to fertilize an egg.  2. Hormonal Imbalances:  Reduced testosterone: Low levels of testosterone can affect sperm production.  Hyperprolactinemia: Elevated levels of prolactin can interfere with sperm production.  Hormonal disorders affecting the pituitary gland or hypothalamus: These glands regulate hormone production.  3. Genetic Disorders: Klinefelter syndrome: A genetic condition affecting males. Cystic fibrosis: A genetic disorder that can cause blocked reproductive ducts. Myotonic dystrophy: A genetic disorder that can affect sperm production.  4. Infections and Inflammation: Epididymitis: Inflammation of the epididymis, the tube that carries sperm from the testicles.  Orchitis: Inflammation of the testicles.  STIs: Sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhea or chlamydia can cause inflammation and damage to the reproductive organs.  5. Environmental and Lifestyle Factors: Smoking: Smoking can reduce sperm count and quality.  Alcohol consumption: Excessive alcohol use can lower testosterone levels and affect sperm production.  Certain drug use: Anabolic steroids and other drugs can negatively impact sperm production.  Exposure to toxins or chemicals: Exposure to certain toxins, like pesticides, can affect fertility.  Obesity: Being overweight or obese can impact sperm quality.  6. Medical Conditions: Diabetes: Diabetes can affect sperm production and quality. Kidney failure: Kidney failure can also impact sperm production. Cystic fibrosis: A genetic disorder that can cause blocked reproductive ducts. Autoimmune diseases: Some autoimmune diseases can attack sperm.  7. Other Factors: Varicocele: Enlarged veins in the scrotum, which can raise testicular temperature and affect sperm production.  Testicular trauma: Injury to the testicles can damage sperm production.  Previous cancer treatment: Chemotherapy and radiation therapy can affect sperm production.  Undescended testicles: Testicles that don't descend into the scrotum.  Blockages or absences of tubes: Blockages in the reproductive tract can prevent sperm from being released.  This is for informational purposes only. For medical advice or diagnosis, consult a professional. AI responses may include mistakes. Learn more Whether you have children or not, your health is important. Be sure to go to all of your check-ups, especially if there is a family history of health issues. Get checked, don't wait.   Be OK with advocating for yourself. The healthcare industry may say no, you are too young for a particular test. But if you want that test, be insistent. Keep in mind that if your insurance does not cover the test because you are not of a certain age or whatever their parameters are, you may have to pay out of pocket.   Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful men out there who do the work of raising great people for this world.  Happy Father's Day to those of you who did not birth children, but are contributing to a child's life in beautiful and lasting ways.         Research links:   https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15441-azoospermia Articles/links of interest: https://ifstudies.org/blog/pronatalism-is-not-popular-yet Episode links to conversations with men: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-116-my-conversation-with-dave-jackson/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-57-men-men-men-men-3/ My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM  

Hello, and welcome to episode 174 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Mother's Day   Thank you, Patreon contributors: I want to thank my Patreon contributors, who contribute monthly to the platform.    Your contributions help pay the salaries of my podcast producer and host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests and other expenses. Thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Thank you to the Paypal contributor from the UK. Um, from a month ago. Sorry it took so long to give a shout out.  Your contribution means a lot!   Body of episode: Isaiah 54:1 1“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord. I am well aware that this scripture is an analogy and not literal. I know the literal meaning, which you can search via Google or a Bible commentary if you want to know.    I use the Matthew Henry Commentary for my research. I don't want to get into the weeds here, so I am giving you homework. I love this verse because it brings joy and hope to those of us who never had children, and not shame and derision.  Although we did not have children, we can still contribute to society by the decisions we make to be a part of society; as teachers, as aunts, as mentors; in whatever roles we choose to be a part of a child's life. To be a part of society. Importantly: in addition to whatever you choose to do with your life. You can be an astronaut and mentor. You can be a CEO and be a wonderful aunt.  Choose, decide, not to go inward and separate yourself from society because of the grief of childlessness. How we live our lives is always a choice. A decision.  I know we are all in different places on our childless not by choice journey, but I am confident that as we continue on our journey, we will get to the point where we can embrace our whole selves. You are the only you. I am the only me. You will get to the point where you can embrace the missing part in your heart and yet enjoy every aspect of your life. If it could happen for me, trust me, it can happen for you.  I've said in previous episodes that no one could have told me I would never have children. It was just out of the question! But we never know what life has in store for us. How we deal with it is what is important. Very important.  I also want to say that Mother's Day is a day created by someone to recognize mothers. Mother's are doing the hard work to raise children to be positive contributors to a civil society. We need that now more than ever. So I am grateful to all the great mothers out there doing the hard work!  We all know that what we don't learn at home, the world will teach us. And the world is a harsh teacher. We all know that!  I am grateful to my mom, may she continue to rest in peace. She left this world the week before Mother's Day, no less.  I miss her every day because I know she had my best interests at heart. Even as an adult, she would ask me questions that made me think.  I remember once she asked me about a certain friendship where I always seemed to be giving, but not getting anything back. It was not a deep friendship, but it was enough of a friendship where there could have been some reciprocation.  That question made me step back and take a look at my friendships. It reminded me to value myself even as I valued others.  That one question really helped me in the years to come, to make sure I was valued in my friendships and relationships. One little question. So, be sure to value yourself. Value your life.  Value what you do for a living. Value your place in this world. Value that little place in your heart that may feel an emptiness.  And for those of you who teach or mentor, who have mothered whole communities, whole families…you are helping to make a positive contribution to the world by helping children become a positive contribution to society, showing them how to manage their lives, biases, selfishness, love, life, their hearts, their laundry.  Dear childless not by choice woman, you are seen, you are remembered, you are loved, you are valued.               Research links: Isaiah 54:1 My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

  Hello, and welcome to episode 173 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? My conversation with Mind Body Revival Coach Aisha Balesaria   Thank you, Patreon contributors: I want to thank my Patreon contributors, who contribute monthly to the platform.  Your contributions help pay the salaries of my podcast producer and host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, and other expenses. Thank you very much!       If you are not a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Intro (for guest episodes): I started coaching because I wanted to support others to achieve what they really want, but they weren't sure how to do it! Around 6 years ago a coach at work really helped me gain clarity about my future when I was uncertain about how it would look. The uncertainty occurred when I was unexpectedly diagnosed with stage four endometriosis, it was a huge shock that affected my career and personal life.  So, why mindbodyrevival_coach, I'm often asked? I integrate the mind-body connection in my work. The way the body responds to how we think, feel, and act can impact our entire well-being.  During my practice, I can also use journaling and breath work to support my clients move through their thoughts when they're feeling stuck. I work from an intersectional perspective because, like my own situation, I understand the nuances of each individual's circumstances. Body of episode:   Tell us about your passion for Coaching and what Revival means to you.   So, in the world of childless not by choice, those of us who wanted but could not have children are on a similar journey caused typically by different illnesses. For me it was fibroids and time. On your website you say for you it was Endometriosis and Adenomyosis?           Can you tell us your story, as much as you would like to share?   You are transitioning or should I say evolving from CNBC to life after infertility…tell us more.    I love the cheat sheet questions to ask your doctor at doctor visits. I always say we should have a list of questions and never fear getting a second opinion.   In our pre-chat you explained a little about Eid. I suppose Eid al Fitr. I also see there is an Eid al-Adha, commemorating the willingness of the Prophet Ibrahim to sacrifice his son. That story I know, but tell us more about Eid al Fitr.   You mentioned that you grew up in a multicultural home. Tell us how that may speak to your intersectional perspective. If it does.    Talk to us about your book, the 1 in 8. And tell us about any upcoming projects you may have coming up.   As we close, is there anything that you would like to make sure we cover?   Research links: https://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/giving/islamic-giving/ramadan/eid-al-fitr/     Aisha's Contact Information: https://mindbodyrevivalcoach.com/ Instagram:  @mindbodyrevival_coach     Special thank you to: Aisha Balesaria My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 172 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? I was interviewed! AND, this is Women's History Month! Let's talk about both.   Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank my Patreon contributors, who contribute monthly to the platform.    Your contributions help pay the salaries of my podcast producer and host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests and other expenses. Thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: I was interviewed for the second time on Engel Jones' podcast 12 12-Minute Convos. I love what Engel is doing in the podcast space, conversing with all types of people, speaking on all subjects!   Take a listen by clicking the link below!  https://twelveminuteconvos.com/civilla-morgan-a-decade-of-stories-a-conversation-on-podcast-evolution-grief-and-finding-new-purpose-ep-3242/   Also, March is Women's History Month. I have placed several links to previous episodes of the wonderful women I have had the opportunity to interview. Feel free to listen or re-listen!  Do you know a woman or women who have made life better for you or their community? Be sure to show your appreciation. Buy them flowers, lunch, dinner, or their favorite snack. People love to be recognized.     Special thank you to: Engel Jones of the 12-Minute Convos Podcast   Articles/Links of Interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-155-my-conversation-with-stephanie-joy-phillips-founder-of-world-childless-week/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-134-the-dame-who-made-a-difference/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-147-race-gender-in-equality-and-childlessness-my-conversation-with-yvonne-john/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/my-conversation-with-mrs-pennsylvania/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-126-she-i-dare-not-name-a-spinsters-meditation-on-life-my-conversation-with-author-donna-ward/ My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you want to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you want to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.   

  Hello, and welcome to episode 171 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Love   Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank my Patreon contributors, the people who contribute monthly to the platform.    Your contributions help pay the salaries of my podcast producer and host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, and other expenses. Thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: When I was thinking about the content for this episode, I considered discussing the different types of love. Love of parents. Love of a child. Falling in love. You know, love. But then I wondered, what is the opposite of love? My immediate response would be hate. You would think so. But I like writer Elie Weisel's opinion on the opposite of love: indifference.  He also said "The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference" and "The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference". Indifference. What do you think about when you hear the word indifference? I believe indifference is the easy way out. Indifference takes less brain power, less critical thinking, less effort. And I believe indifference can be dangerous.  We are living in a world where indifference seems to reign. And I believe it is reigning due to fear. Many people are afraid of the way our world is going. There is a lot of hate and division taking place globally. Most people opt to lay low, get to work, run errands, and then run back home. And I get it. There are a lot of stressed-out people out in those streets. And most people do not handle stress well. They become angry, blame, and take out their frustrations on the nearest object, and dare I say, person?    Life has not been easy since the dawn of time. We were promised that with more technology we would have more time to relax. But even though we have washing machines and microwaves, we are still so busy we barely have time to sleep. Stress, anger, lack of sleep, and the list goes on. They all add up to a scary situation. A scary society.    Regardless, despite, what is going on in the world, I want to remind you that you matter. Your feelings matter. Your life matters. Your livelihood matters. Your existence matters. No matter where in the world you are listening to me from, you matter. I know I say this all the time, but every human on this planet was made in the image of God.    I get that this podcast is heard globally, by people of different faiths, or not. And different belief systems. But if you have been listening to me for any length of time, you know I am a Believer. And that means I believe in God. I believe Jesus was not just a prophet, a nice guy. I believe in The Holy Trinity. And with that belief system, I believe what the Bible says. And I try every day, to live by what it says. I don't wear a cross around my neck because it's fashionable. I believe what it stands for. And I try to live my life by what it stands for. I am not perfect, but the Bible calls us to perfection, it never says we will be perfect. We just need to spend out lives working toward it. Toward being better humans to each other. Better neighbors.  I know some of my listeners are Hindu, Moslem, Jewish, agnostic, Christian, Catholic, atheist. And that's what I want. I want all of you to listen and hear healing words for your broken heart. Hearts broken like mine, because we did not get to have the children we wanted. From day one, 10 years ago, I said I wanted everyone to listen, and get help from this podcast, no matter your personal beliefs or where in the world you live. And it happened!   Thank you for tuning in month after month. Thank you for feedback. Thank you for ratings and reviews over on Apple. Thank you for all of it! It has not always been an easy ride, but it was what I set out to do. I did not realize how hard it would be sometimes. I remember when I lost my first podcast producer. He taught me just about everything I know about the art of podcasting. But it was time for him to move on. That was a tough time for me. I have recorded episodes with guests that sounded so bad I cried. I wanted to give up on podcasting many times. There were guest requests I had to turn down because I was going with my gut, not necessarily because there was anything wrong with the guest.   There have been difficult decisions that had to be made, that literally left me crying for days. You may ask why put yourself through that?  It's not even like I am getting millions of downloads per month. In the scheme of things I am smack dab in the middle of average when it comes to downloads.   Caring for my parents while working and creating content, that was really hard. As a caregiver the work world doesn't really care that you are balancing sick parents, doctors appointments, a walker and a wheelchair, with trying to hang on to income. I hope one day caregivers will be recognized for all the work we do which actually saves money for our governments.  Living life, grieving, working, creating. It was all happening in real-time for me.      And now here I am. Here we are. Life continues. It moves on, with or without us. Life is like a train that has to keep a schedule. You may be running late. You may not have the fare. Life may be interrupting, but she's leaving the station on time.  You know, I always say, life is short. It will pass us by whether we live it to our fullest or not. It will pass us by whether we live someone else's life or we live our own lives. The lives we were given. Live your life. Lovc your life. Love your family and friends, but be sure to love your life.    Articles/links of interest: https://www.brusselstimes.com/1420823/up-to-40-of-women-without-children-by-age-of-30-never-have-them-at-all   https://www.sportschosun.com/k-drama/2025/02/crayon-pop-cho-ah-who-has-been-childless-for-46747 Special thank you to: Love   My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 170 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Meditiation by Bindi Shah Body of episode:   Bindi's Meditation Recording   This Meditation was created by Bindi to help us get the year off to a great start! NOTE TO LISTENER: Please listen when you can relax and really take in the information—not while driving. Bindi's Contact Information: bindishah.com Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-169-my-conversation-with-bindi-shah/ Special thank you to: Bindi Shah My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank my Patreon contributors, the people who make a monthly financial contribution to the platform.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, and other expenses. Thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Hello, and welcome to episode 168 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Looking back on 2024   Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   ‘It's what you didn't get out of life that makes you anointed.' --Bishop TD Jakes.   My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Looking Back, Looking Forward Hello, and welcome to episode 167 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Looking Back, Looking Forward   Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Reminder the next two months I am on hiatus  I will have a fresh episode in December WCW highlights–World Childless Week, 16-22 Sept 2024 Childless Cat (Plant) Ladies Review last three episodes–links posted below Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-79-part-two-11-childless-not-by-choice-women-who-changed-the-world-2/   https://aseannow.com/topic/1337077-the-right%E2%80%99s-fixation-on-childless-women-a-tool-for-upholding-capitalist-norms/ Most recent episodes:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-166-my-conversation-with-jody-day/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-165-our-nine-year-podcastiversary/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-164-the-issues-of-race-and-the-medical-community/ My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice  

Hello, and welcome to episode 166 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? My Interview with Jody Day. Update time!   Intro: JODY DAY is the English/Irish founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women, and is often described as the founder of the ‘childless movement'. An author, two-times TEDx speaker, thought leader and psychotherapist, she's known for her best-selling Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children (PanMac 2016/2020) and increasingly for her popular Substack, ‘Gateway Elderwomen' which explores the adventure of elderhood without motherhood.    Jody's been a World Childless Week Ambassador since its inception in 2017, and was chosen as one of the BBC's 100 Women in 2013 & as a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She was also a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children, and is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School.  After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she's working on a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and developing her Gateway Elderwomen project. She is managed by a small white terrier called Parsnip.   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Are you still a part of AWOC? Working on a novel Substack—Gateway Elder Women ‘Women without children are that village'.--Jody Day We still pay taxes. Research links: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/   https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/   https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/   https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/ Christine Erickson's New Legacy Institute Gateway Woman is now The Childless Collective  Mutual aid projects   Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/   https://gateway-women.com/living-the-life-unexpected-2nd-edition-world-blogtour-1-19th-march-2020/ Special thank you to: Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women   Jody Day's Contact Info: https://gateway-women.com/   website: www.gateway-women.com substack: https://jodyday.substack.com/ instagram @gatewaywomen & @apprenticecrone free download of intro & chapter 1 of Jody's book: bit.ly/free-ltlu   FYI: Spotify now allows podcasters the ability to respond to listener comments. My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

Hello, and welcome to episode 165 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? My Nine Year Podcastiversary!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   Thank you: And as I say every July, I can't believe it!  Thank you for walking with me through the last few years as I dealt with real life.      Articles/links of interest: https://abcnews.go.com/US/vance-argued-higher-tax-rate-childless-americans-2021/story?id=112284318   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maximizing-relationships-and-happiness-in-life/202407/with-love-to-my-childless-aunts Special thank you to: All of you!   My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you want to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you want to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.  ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant,    and fulfilled life.'  

Hello, and welcome to episode 164 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Race and the medical community, how to fix it?    Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Questions from listeners:   Listener Name: question from Spotify listener ‘Could you provide an actual bio description. I already know the title, I don't know what you're gonna talk about precisely. It would be very helpful instead of the basic uninformed text.' ANNOUNCEMENTS: Before we get started: Android users, Google podcasts is going away–slowly, like by Summertime based on what I am hearing. That should give you time to find another way to listen.  Honestly, if you just go to your app store you can search for podcast player apps. If you are an Android user, you can use podcast addict or Pocket Cast podcast player apps.  Of course, you can also listen on YouTube music. And keep in mind, I do have two YouTube accounts where you can listen to the podcast.    If you listen to the podcast on Gaana, the largest music platform in India, they are transitioning podcasts to app-only listening. So if you are not finding the Childless not by Choice podcast anywhere else on their platform, search the Gaana app.  And thanks for listening India!       Body of episode: So, I want to tell you about an experience I had when I had my hysterectomy. Am I blaming race for what happened to me? That's the thing about racism, it's not always clear. I have always said ‘It's a heart issue.'     Race and the medical community– Narrative–dictionary term The narrative that black people take pain at a higher range.  Talk about how there are differences that do not mean black people are inferior brown bandaids- pulse ox and skin color- Kidney disease–gfr, creatinine(?)   Talk about the young woman who invented the color change of bandages. when a wound is healing or is getting infected. Talk about women of color losing babies at a higher rate-    Talk about the role of AI in the medical community-   What is bias?  to give a settled and often prejudiced outlook: his background biases him against foreigners.   systematic error introduced into sampling or testing by selecting or encouraging one outcome or answer over others.   an inclination of temperament or outlook especially: a personal and sometimes unreasoned judgment: PREJUDICE Even AI is biased. But it's not AI's fault. Who is creating AI code?    I believe just as it takes a village, and community, to get most things done in our world, it will take a village to fix and correct the inequities of care in the medical and health community. We all need to look out for each other List of things to do when going to the doctor: Make a list of the questions for the doctor. If you are afraid to self-advocate, bring a trusted friend or family member with you. Go to follow-up and lab appointments. Don't blow them off. Review your lab results and ask questions. Make sure you understand what the results mean.  Try to eat right, and take medications you are prescribed as long as you and your doctor are on the same page when it comes to medications.  Don't be afraid to get a second opinion.  Make sure you and your doctor are on the same page. Do research, not to self-evaluate, but to understand what your doctor is telling you. Be aware, involved, and knowledgeable about your health.     Research links:   https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4194634/   https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/10.1377/hlthaff.2021.01466   https://www.stkate.edu/academics/healthcare-degrees/racism-in-healthcare   https://www.band-aid.com/products/adhesive-bandages/ourtone-adhesive-bandages Articles/links of interest: https://mhacf.org/   https://medicalxpress.com/news/2024-03-rheumatic-diseases-childbearing-problems.html   https://yen.com.gh/people/family-relationships/256354-nigerian-lady-child-buys-pampers-feeding-bottle-tearfully-prays-god-a-baby-video/ My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 163 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Father's Day   Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Articles/links of interest:   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-160-praying-through-infertility-my-conversation-with-sheridan-voysey/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/ Special thank you to: All of the wonderful men who have shared their childless not by choice journey with us, and the world.  My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 162 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Why Won't They Listen? Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   HELLO EVERYONE WELCOME TO EPISODE 162! THIS IS A SPECIAL LIVE RECORDING AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO HEAR IT.  AS SOON AS I HEARD IT WAS HAPPENING I BECAME EXCITED BECAUSE THE ISSUES SURROUNDING HEALTHCARE AND PEOPLE OF COLOR IS SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR QUITE SOME TIME.    I MEAN QUITE SOME TIME AS IN YEARS: SINCE MY HYSTERECTOMY.  I WILL BE TALKING MORE ABOUT MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES NEXT EPISODE, AS WELL AS THINGS WE CAN DO, NO MATTER OUR RACE OR GENDER, TO GIVE US A BETTER CHANCE AT PROPER CARE WHEN INTERACTING WITH THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY.   I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MRS. LASHONDA ROYAL, CHAPTER PRESIDENT, MS. ANNA DIEVEUIL-HORNBUCKLE, PUBLIC RELATIONS, AND ALL THE LADIES OF ZETA PHI BETA SORORITY, INC.,  FOR ALLOWING ME TO ATTEND  THIS MEETING.  BY THE WAY, IT WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.    PLEASE NOTE: SOME CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE IS GEARED TO WOMEN WHO HAVE CHILDREN. PLEASE ALSO NOTE THAT ANY AUDIENCE MEMBER NAMES MENTIONED HAVE BEEN REMOVED. THE NAMES OF THE PANEL MEMBERS HAVE NOT.  LASTLY, NAMES OF MEDICATIONS HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE AUDIO AS WELL. THANKS AGAIN FOR TUNING IN.       Articles/links of interest: https://www.personneltoday.com/hr/childless-employee-edi-unseen-minority/ Special thank you to:   Mrs. Lashonda Royal, Chapter President, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Ms. Anna Dieveuil-Hornbuckle, Public Relations Solid Rock Community Church My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM  

Hello, and welcome to episode 161 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about?   IVF and the Alabama Ruling    Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   On average, IVF has a success rate of 46.7% (depending on individual fertility conditions).--cryosinternational.com 1 million: Number of babies born in the United States between 1987 and 2015 through the use of IVF or other assisted reproductive technologies, according to a report released in 2017 by the by the U.S. Society of Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART). Assisted reproductive technologies include IVF or the use of an egg donor, sperm donor or adopted embryo. Today, 40 years after its heavily criticized clinical introduction, IVF is available as a successful treatment for infertility almost all over the world. Over 8 million IVF children have been born, and over 2.5 million cycles are being performed every year, resulting in over 500,000 deliveries annually.--Google What is IVF? What is IVF and how is it done? During in vitro fertilization, mature eggs are collected from ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab. Then a procedure is done to place one or more of the fertilized eggs, called embryos, in a uterus, which is where babies develop. One full cycle of IVF takes about 2 to 3 weeks. Sep 1, 2023   How much does it cost to have IVF? While the average base cost of a single IVF cycle falls between $14,000 and $20,000, this is merely an approximation. The actual expenses may differ. Moreover, additional costs including medications, genetic testing, cryopreservation, and storage fees must be taken into account.   So just getting the pre-work done costs thousands, and the whole process is about timing. Timing. Ovulation, injections into the stomach at just the right time of the month.  All of the things that need to be done at just the right time, of the month. Oh, let's not forget the should we call it, cultivation of the eggs. It's a process. All of it.   And this process is done by doctors. People who studied for a very long time so that they could assist their patients. Politicians and judges went to school to study politics and law. Nowhere do the two professions meet unless a person gets both degrees.    I checked to see if this judge in Alabama has an MD-JD, in other words, a medical and law degree. I did not find anything in my research that says he does.  So what's the back story anyway?  Well, apparently a patient went wandering around an IVF clinic and somehow got back to where the embryos were kept in a cryogenic state, and dropped a few of them, destroying them. A few couples that also were clients of this clinic heard about this and filed suit.  I mean, I have questions. How did this patient get back there? Why did she touch things that did not belong to her? Was she looking for her embryos? Was the clinic not working with her? Why was she back there?   But those questions aside, what I really want to know is how much research and homework was done by the judge to come to his ruling?  Did he consider how ruling against IVF would affect people who were having trouble getting pregnant? Was research done on the process of  IVF? Why it is done? Even how it is done? I don't know.  Maybe he did and still decided to rule the way he did. Did he know that his ruling would affect men as well as women?    When these lawmakers are, well, making these laws, how much research is done? Seriously. I don't mean just legal research. I don't mean sitting in a law library or having your law clerks sitting in a law library trying to come up with legal reasons to cause terror in people's lives. How much research did they do to understand the relevance of the law to current life? Does relevance to current life, say vs. before IVF was invented, matter in research and ruling?   I am no lawyer, but shouldn't the law have to somehow keep up with the current times?  And no, keeping up with the current times does not mean fundamentally changing the law otherwise as much as the law sometimes doesn't make sense now; imagine if it was fundamentally changed to keep up with the fact that we are in the 21st century and not the middle ages.     Let me go deeper, do these lawmakers know or even care about infertility, the biological clock, gasp, male infertility?  Are these lawmakers just concerned about their interpretation of the law and making a name for themselves down through history, using God as a way to make it make sense? Let me stop here for a second:  God is not the author of confusion.  God has given us free will as human beings. He has given us wisdom, common sense, and the ability to invent things like IVF. He has created every human in His image. He loves women as well as He loves men.    All of the division we see globally, the mistreatment and hatred of women is not godly. OK, that's me hopping off my soap box. It's been a while since I've used my soap box, so thanks for allowing me the latitude.     Look, I realize the law is not based on empathy. And one can argue that point, but if the law were based on empathy some perpetrators would not be released on a technicality. Some people would not rot in prison for something they did not do. More work, and more research would be done in both cases.   People, men, and women; would not have to suffer through infertility, deal with IVF treatments, and then rely on a legal system that has no empathy, have done no research, have no real world answers, or understanding on the matter to which has to be ruled while not fundamentally changing the laws. I believe both can be done.       The bottom line is this, the patriarchy is acting as it has for a millennium.  But the part that gets me is when God is brought in. Let me repeat what I said earlier: God doesn't hate women, He created us. He created humans in His image, so that would be men AND  women. He doesn't prefer men over women. He doesn't have disdain for women.    I don't understand how the rampant mistreatment of women worldwide makes the world a better place. It doesn't. Using God as a prop. Never a good idea. But it's done all the time.  What happened in Alabama, and what is happening around the country is not being done in kindness and empathy. It is being done to grab power, to be judgemental, and to cause duress. For what reason? Power. It's all  about power. When ultimately, God has all the power.         God's process for how men and women should live does not include fast rulings done with no research, no empathy, no real legal theory,  that affect people in such a negative way.    I know the Alabama Supreme court cobbled something together to help protect those who are going through the IVF process from the judge's ruling. The governor of Alabama has signed off on the ruling, but my understanding that this new ruling still does not fully protect people going throught IVF, but at least it is a start. I guess we will stay tuned!         Research links:   https://www.arcfertility.com/patient-resources/understanding-the-cost-of-ivf/#:~:text=While%20the%20average%20base%20cost,must%20be%20taken%20into%20account.   https://judicial.alabama.gov/CourtMemberBio/ViewBio?id=3#:~:text=Chief%20Justice%20Parker&text=Chief%20Justice%20Tom%20Parker%20was,elected%20Chief%20Justice%20in%202018.   https://www.cryosinternational.com/en-gb/dk-shop/private/blog/ivf-treatment-for-single-women/   https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/fertility-blog/2018/march/ivf-by-the-numbers Articles/links of interest: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/2/21/why-has-the-alabama-supreme-court-ruled-that-embryos-are-children   https://www.newvision.co.ug/category/news/childless-woman-flees-from-abusive-husband-NV_183405 My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.'   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life'. Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV Notes from the episode:     “God is not the author of confusion…God has given us free will..wisdom, common sense, and the ability to invent things, like IVF.'   ‘He loves women as well as men.'   ‘We are all created in His image.'   ‘All of the mistreatment of women globally is not God, and it's not godly.'   ‘..He does not have disdain for women. That's a human thing.'

Hello, and welcome to episode 160 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about?   A Conversation with Sheridan Voysey   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Intro: Sheridan Voysey is an author, speaker and broadcaster with a keen interest on makes life deeply worthwhile. Sheridan is a presenter of Pause for Thought on BBC Radio 2's Zoe Ball Breakfast Show (heard by 9 million people daily) and has conducted over 2000 radio interviews in his 25-year broadcast career. He has been featured on BBC Breakfast, BBC News, Day of Discovery, 100 Huntley Street, BBC Radio 4, BBC Radio 5 Live, the ABC, CBC's Tapestry, and in publications like The Times, The Sunday Telegraph, and Christianity Today. He speaks at conferences and events around the world.   Mr. Sheridan Voysey, welcome to the show! Body of episode:   Our daily bread–That is where I first heard your voice. Can you tell them thank you! I've been reading and now listening to ODB since my early teens. I'm sure they hear that a lot.     Infertility journey– Can you tell us a little about you and your wife's infertility journey, whatever you are comfortable with telling us?    Praying Through Infertility–that's how we met. How did you gather everyone, how did you choose? Was it 37 contributors total? Do you feel that your previous books led to Praying Through Infertility? At least most of the books? I say most because Open House is about writing if I'm correct?    The author of eight books, including Reflect with Sheridan, The Making of Us: Who We Can Become When Life Doesn't Go as Planned, Resurrection Year: Turning Broken Dreams into New Beginnings, and the award-winning Unseen Footprints. His writing has been featured in various publications…   Can you speak to childless not by choice men for just a moment on how to best deal with or manage the pain women may not be able to understand?    As we close out, can you give us, the childless not by choice community,  a word of encouragement? And can you tell us your contact information? Articles/links of interest:   https://punchng.com/a-thought-for-the-childless-woman-on-iwd-2024/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/ Special thank you to: Mr. Sheridan Voysey Sheridan Voysey's Contact information: https://sheridanvoysey.com/   Current and future projects: Couples Discussion Guide Friendship Lab Charity, non-profit friendshiplab.org Mr. Voysey's Suggestions for managing childlessness: Create a journal Find someone you trust Join a men's group Speak with a man and he doesn't have to be childless not by choice, make sure he's empathic Make space for your emotions Get counseling Journal Read Ephesians 5:1-2 My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice  

Hello, and welcome to episode 159 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Headlines   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!       If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: So, it looks like, we meaning childless not by choice and child free people, are in the news again! It seems like we are always in the headlines, doesn't it? And not usually for anything positive. There is always commentary, and suggestions, all un-asked for.   Well, in the recent headlines, the word deplorable was used, and the term commercial contract...in the context of those who choose surrogacy to have the gift of a child. I always believed surrogacy to be a gift. Yes, the woman carrying the baby typically gets paid, but why shouldn't she? And yes, many countries have rules and laws surrounding these agreements. It's not typically an act or process that is done willy-nilly. Of course like anything else, there are people who opt for the wrong or illegal way of doing things, so why would surrogacy be any different? Well, because a human being is involved. I get it, but calling the act deplorable? That's kinda intense.    DEPLORABLE COMMERCIAL CONTRACT CHILDLESS ELDERLY RETIREMENT   I get that there are people who like to cut corners and do things for the wrong reasons, but ‘commercial contract' sounds so, well, non-human.   And I really believe the word deplorable needs to be retired–or just used as little as possible. It is such a harsh word and I don't think we realize that.  I know we all make mistakes, misuse words and verbiage; we all mess up. But I think the bigger issue becomes when we do not realize how we are affecting people by our words. Our opinions, our words affect people. The term ‘words matter' has been thrown around a bit in the last few years, to no avail. Some people just do not understand how their words do matter, or how their platform fits into the scheme of the world.  I don't believe most people mean to be mean. Some people on the other hand, I don't believe they care how their words affect the listener or the reader, or the ones directly affected by their words. In other words, People may not realize what their words are doing, they have probably not done any research.  Research such as, why do women use surrogates? Why are people childless? Could it be some of them just could not have kids? Before making comments about how the childless fit into the world. What contributions do we make?  You know my story. I wanted children so badly I would have done just about anything to have one. But I also believe that people who did not want kids shouldn't have to have them. I mean why are we trying to tell people what to do., How to live their lives. Whether or not to have children. Why is this happening? I realize that some commentary may come from the fact that the overall birth rate in the Western world is generally lower than the leadership machine of any given country might like, but where does it end when we start telling people what to do? Making people feel a certain way for not wanting children or not being able to have children.  I had already recorded this episode when I felt like I needed to dig deeper to find out why these comments were made. I searched for context. I couldn't find any. But I just can't believe these comments just popped up. There had to be a reason. If I figure it out sometime in the future I will let you know. But for now, this is all I got. They just decided this was their opinion so they said so. But in this world of social media, now more than ever, we really have to think about what we say. No matter how small or how large our platform. A few announcements please:    Patreon: If you are a patron, please stop by the Patreon page for a personalized video message from me. And if you are a current contributor, there is also a message in your Patreon in-box.  Please stop by the Patreon page!    Apple now provides transcripts!   Apple will now be providing transcripts! I am excited about this because I know there are people who are not able to consume podcasts by listening.  There is a link in the show notes that gives the back story and instructions on how to obtain the transcripts.   https://podcasters.apple.com/support/5316-transcripts-on-apple-podcasts Research links: https://thedispatch.com/article/surrogacy-is-good-for-women-and-good-for-families/   https://www.npr.org/2024/01/09/1223771148/pope-francis-surrogacy-criticism#:~:text=%22I%20deem%20deplorable%20the%20practice,speech%20to%20diplomats%20on%20Monday.   https://medium.com/illumination/the-dangerous-words-of-elon-musk-incites-hatred-and-division-against-the-childfree-942e5b613406   https://www.businesstoday.in/technology/news/story/elon-musk-support-restricting-voting-rights-for-people-without-children-388215-2023-07-05 Articles/links of interest:   https://www.healthday.com/healthpro-news/bone-and-joint/men-with-inflammatory-joint-diseases-seem-to-have-more-children   https://www.news18.com/viral/california-couple-chooses-child-free-life-says-its-unaffordable-for-them-8784475.html   https://www.gistreel.com/woman-loses-twin-babies-to-church-after-15-years-of-waiting/ My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice   QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE:  ‘It's what we do with OUR story.'     If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.  Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV  

Hello, and welcome to episode 158 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about?   How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby?   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: How old is too old to have a baby? Apparently it's not age 70, because it just happened. A woman in Uganda has had not one, but two children. She just had twins!  Now, I'm not one to judge especially when people are dealing with a situation that onlookers may not have all of the insight and details.  I mean she lives in a part of the world where she was probably mistreated, shunned, talked about behind her back, for being childless. I mean check out this quote from the People article, link in the show notes: ‘The twins, who will go by Babiyre and Kato, have given Namukwaya and her husband a new status in their rural village. The mom will be known as Nalongo. which means mother of twins, while husband Walusimbi Badru will be known as Salongo, or father of twins.'    She also said ‘ "There was a time I felt very sick because of the pregnancy. I spent nearly all my savings.'  Those last six words: ‘I spent nearly all my savings'. How many times in our community, have we heard a childless not by choice woman say those words?  As I read this story I was torn between to thoughts, two opinions. I wondered if I did enough to have a child on my own before my time ran out. It's easy to look back and second guess, but it's a different story when you are living the moment, so I'm not going to beat myself up.  On the other hand, I wondered if she and her husband consider the childrens' future? Does she have a care plan in place for them once she and her husband have passed? Does she have help with two newborns? Does she have help with them when they are two or three years old and getting into everything? How old will she be when they turn 18?  88, She will be 88!        How old is too old?   And if we ask how old is too old to have a child? How old is too old to adopt? Although at least here in the US, there are laws in place to make sure someone wanting to adopt has to have age correlation to the child's. In other words, an adopter cannot be more than 20 years older than the child they want to adopt. According to research, that is more geared toward the adoption of an older child. How old is too old to foster care a child? Have you ever considered fostering a child? If so, I would like to hear your experiences. Let me know! And actually, any thoughts you have on this episode content I would really love to hear. Especially on the main topic of this episode. How old is too old to have a child? Was this fair to the children, even if the mother has help?  Am I being un-empathetic to this woman's  plight of living in a part of the world where childlessness is frowned upon, and the woman is blamed even if the issue is on the husband's part? When do we become content in our childlessness? Is there such a thing, contentedness in our childlessness?    There are links in the show notes to this and other stories I believe you may find interesting.   Also, be sure to visit the Resources tab. There's a link that will take you to Sheridan Voysey's site. Remember, I am a contributor to his new book ‘Praying Through Infertility.'          Research links: https://people.com/ugandan-woman-who-welcomed-twins-at-70-introduces-son-and-daughter-8423729 Articles/links of interest: https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/curious-case-stone-baby-1c9926251 https://www.sbs.com.au/language/filipino/en/podcast-episode/being-a-mother-is-a-selfless-act-that-perhaps-is-not-for-me-a-story-of-a-child-free-filipina-in-sydney/2f71w36y6 https://childlessnotbychoice.net/collaborators/   Special thank you to: My friend for telling me about this story. My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

Hello, and welcome to episode 157 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? December 2023   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   What has happened the last few months Plans for next year–i have a few people i would like to interview next year. I just need to make it a little further through my grief journey. My brain is mush right now.   As cnbc women, depending on where we are in our journey, let's pray for the children around the world. Especially those who have no one to pray for them, and those in war torn and conflict areas.  Humans first: I think about the bandwagon quite a bit as i watch what is happening in and to our world, perpetrated by human beings. The things we do to each other is just unbelievable.  But it is the taking sides when the correct side is the human side, that gets me.  Two things can be true. That is nothing new. Two actions, two behaviors, two responses can be wrong or  right. Let's bring positive thoughts and behaviors to our world.  Next, i had the honor of being asked to be a contributor to renowned author Sheridan Voysey's latest book, ‘Praying through Infertility'. How cool was that? The book will be available January 30th.  I will put a link to more information in the show notes. Please check out the book, and share with everyone you know, childless or not.   Hi everyone. I have some news. May I introduce you to Praying Through Infertility, due for release in January. I believe it may be a first book of its kind! A HIDDEN MALADY Right now there is someone in your office, church, neighbourhood, maybe even your family or among your friends who is battling infertility. They're feeling isolated, their marriage may be under strain, and their faith may be fraying at the edges because of it. Praying Through Infertility is a 90 day devotional written for them. Or maybe even you. There aren't many resources for Christian couples facing infertility, and many of those available focus on the female experience. In Praying Through Infertility I believe we've achieved a first: ️ 37 contributors from 9 countries sharing vulnerably Both female and male writers (*rare* for this topic) A variety of outcomes explored: pregnancy, adoption, staying childless If you're facing infertility, this is the book you've been longing for. If you know someone who is, it's the book to give when you don't know what to say. THE BACKSTORY When my publisher approached me about writing this book, I wasn't sure it was mine to do. My hands were full with other projects and I wondered if I'd said all I needed to in previous books. But when I realised this could be a collaborative project, drawing on the experiences of so many I've connected with around the world, a light switched on. And my goodness, my co-writers have *delivered*, touching on every experience an infertile couple can face: How to deal with baby showers and scan reveals How to address marriage and intimacy problems How to trust God when you wonder who will look after you when you're old if children never come AND THE STORIES! I can't wait for you to read about: The couple whose shame was tearing them apart, and how they reunited The couple who not only adopted two children but their young mother too The husband who was finally able to express his never-expressed feelings And how so many wrestle with God and stay faithful through it all As you may know, the childless community is dear to my heart, so thank you for reading this far and for whatever you can do to get Praying Through Infertility into the hands of those who most need it. The book is out January 30th but available for pre-order with some bonuses now . #Infertility #infertilityjourney #infertilitywarrior #infertilitysupport          Articles/links of interest:   https://sheridanvoysey.com/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/about-the-children-3/ Special thank you to: Sheridan Voysey   Links/apps of interest: If you are having a difficult time listening to the podcast, try listening on the following apps: Himalaya and Bullhorn.   My contact information: #youdonthaveto Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Tik Tok at 2podcastertoo   https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 156 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 155 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   I remember doing a past episode on the different reasons for childlessness. And I recall discussing the fact that there are many reasons for childlessness. You mention in your bio that being in an abusive relationship caused you to take contraceptives so you wouldn't get pregnant by your partner. Can you speak a little more on that because I know there are listeners who can probably relate. Tell us how best to deal with unsympathetic doctors. Did you get a second opinion?  What caused you to create World Childless Week? How do we get involved, where do we listen? Tell us about the letters that were recently created, for libraries and for jobs. On your website, you mention that one week per year World Childless Week shows up to remind us how we matter, but that you are available year-round. What does the platform do for the rest of the year? Give us a final word of encouragement for the childless not by choice community, and tell us how we can find you on social. BIO: Stephanie spent a large part of her twenties in an abusive relationship and took the contraceptive pill to ensure children would not be born into that situation. In her early thirties, she met her husband-to-be but they didn't try to conceive until nearing forty. At the age of 39, she was told by an unsympathetic doctor "If he manages to get you pregnant it is highly unlikely you'll carry the full term". She knew at that moment, she would never be a mum. In 2016 Stephanie Joy Phillips founded three childless support groups on Facebook: Childless Path To Acceptance focuses on support, Childless Chit Chat is a trigger-free zone, and Childless Perks!! is all about laughter and finding the positives of being childless, without a parent saying 'I told you so'. In 2017 after realising there was no national recognition of the childless community she founded World Childless Week. Seven days that enables the childless community to have a platform where they can find their voice and share their stories with confidence. Steph lives in Worcestershire with her husband and two rescue cats, Storm and Tea-Cup. She enjoys gardening, arts and crafts, a good book, dining out, and relaxing in front of the television with a puzzle book and one of her two cats snuggled up beside her". Her website: www.WorldChildlessWeek.net Articles/links of interest: Inclusive Libraries Project: https://worldchildlessweek.net/inclusive-libraries-project   Inclusion of WCW in employer calendar: https://worldchildlessweek.net/employer-calendar My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.'   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life'. Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV Copyright 2023©

Hello, and welcome to episode 154 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today's show about? Let Me Catch You Up   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Special thank you to: You, the Childless not by Choice Podcast  Listener. Everyone who made suggestions on how to feel better while in Denver. My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It's that easy!  Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.'   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life'. Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV Civilla M. Morgan civilla@civillamorgan.com www.childlessnotbychoice.net Podcast: Childless not by Choice Facebook.com/childlessnotbychoice/Facebook.com/civillamorgan Twitter=@civilla1 Instagram= @joyandrelevance Pinterest=Civilla M. Morgan Copyright 2023©    

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 153 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     Welcome to my eight-year podcastiversary!  What is today's show about? My Eight-Year Podcastiversary!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Some of you have been donating/giving/contributing, for years!  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   Before we get started though, I want to give a heads-up to those who listen to the Childless not by Choice podcast on the Stitcher Podcatcher app. Unfortunately, Stitcher is going away effective August 29, 2023. They say you may listen on their sister app Pandora. Many of you may know Pandora as a music app which it is, but Pandora started hosting podcasts a few years ago.  If you use the Stitcher app, there are instructions in the app on how to export your shows so you don't have to go one by one searching from them in another Podcatcher app.    And as I always say, the Childless not by Choice podcast can be found on just about any podcatcher app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Podcast, you name it, the podcast is there!     Of course, if you have any questions about how to listen to the podcast, reach out in the Childless not by Choice Facebook Group, email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com, or Message me on social.    So, I want to talk to you for a few minutes about Milestones and Lemonade!   Milestone: I have been talking to you for eight years and I love it! A great big thank you to the long-time listeners! And a great big welcome to all of the new listeners! I'm so happy you found us! If you have been listening since the beginning, you have been journeying with me through episodes where I had fabulous guests. Times of Me only episodes, aka monologue episodes. You stayed with me through my grief at the loss of my mommy, and you have continued with me as I continue to care for my dad. You've journeyed with me by listening to the episodes that I created to help you on your journey, but you have given me grace for my journey. Thank you.     Lemonade. I love lemons! The nice, fresh, ripe lemons that you roll on the kitchen counter a few times before cutting them in half and squeezing them to make lemonade, or squeezing them on seafood to create another level of flavor!  But life's lemons are a whole ‘nother story right?!   What lemon or lemons are you dealing with right now? We all get lemons in this life. And I believe although the lemon fruit adds another level of taste to many dishes, including lemonade, life's lemons can feel harsh. Breathtakingly so sometimes. Until you turn them into lemonade. Remember, life is filled with choices. Unless you decide, choose, to make the best of the life you have been given; the childless not by choice life, things can become, and stay overwhelming for a very long time. Who wants that? Life is too short. Do the best you can with where you are, how you are, and when you are. Most of us don't have full control over our jobs, our family members, where we live, etc., but whatever you can control, or manage, do. It will be good for your mental health. What is also good for your mental health is also to know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot.    PIVOT   Milestone. The first time I interviewed a man on the podcast was back in 2015! Link in the show notes! I couldn't believe I had not considered men. It was a whole different conversation. Of course right? Please listen to the episode! https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/childless-not-by-choice-from-a-mans-point-of-view-with-fellow-podcaster-dr-vibe Episodes with authors–I searched through the back catalog and found about seven episodes where I had the great opportunity to interview authors who have written on the subject of childlessness. If you have not listened to the back catalog, why not give it a try? I'm saying that knowing full well, like most podcasters, that our earlier work can feel cringe to us, but hey, it also shows how the show has matured.    Speaking of: It's OK to re-listen to an episode. Just like we re-watch certain movies or shows, we can re-listen to a podcast episode. I notice that every time I have re-watched or re-listened, I catch something I missed the first time. Now, in full transparency, every time you listen, that is a download for me. But honestly, if downloads were all I cared about, I would have quit podcasting a long time ago. There's a show I watch that is now in its seventh season! I have re-watched most of the episodes multiple times. And I am always shocked at what I missed the first or even the second time I watched. I guess it depends on what we may have been doing, aka multitasking, the first or second time we watch or listen to something. Also, an episode may affect you differently now, than it did when it first came out. So there's that!    Lemonade. I want to re-visit patronage and giving: If you find value in the content. If the podcast has helped you in any way, consider giving/contributing. I would like to continue creating this podcast, and regardless of the contributions, I will continue. Honestly, if I ever stopped the podcast it would not be because of the finances on the platform. It would be because it is time. But being able to use your contributions to pay for things on the platform, is so cool! Once again, to those of you who give regularly, thank you!  If you have been thinking about it but just have not gotten around to it, why not sign up during this time of my podcastiversary celebration? It would be truly appreciated. While I am asking, would you consider leaving a review at Apple Podcast to help bring recognition to the podcast? Anything you can do to help bring recognition to the podcast would be greatly appreciated!     Once again thank, thank you for being here. I see you, I think of you, you are worthy, you are here for a reason. You are fabulous! Don't forget that! Here's to another eight years. Cheers!   Special thank you to: Everyone who listens to the podcast! My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 152 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Father's Day   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: It may be a little ironic, or maybe not, but I have not created a fresh June episode because I am caring for my dad. Many of you have heard bits and pieces in previous episodes, that I am his primary caregiver. And it is an honor. The last few months, as in since about the end of February, he has battled on through multiple medical issues. And I have battled to advocate for him.  Unfortunately, advocating feels like an uphill battle.  It sometimes feels like the medical community wants to dictate how I should not care for my father because they know best, even if they just see him as another elderly person.  There were several times when I thought ‘This is it, he's not going to make it.' But he continues to be with us. I cherish and thank God for every single day, every minute, I get with him.  Being a caregiver who works,  means that I am on the run from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until bedtime. I do my very best to get at least seven hours, otherwise, there would just be no way to maintain my schedule. No. Way.  Bottom line, sleep keeps me from falling apart.  I want to thank you for your patience as I navigate my life as it currently is, and my podcasting schedule. Not to pat myself on the back, but because I do take this podcast so seriously, the research, the guests, the everything; being able to go back and ask you to listen to a previous episode, which is what I am asking you to do this month; does not feel like a cop-out.  I have had the great privilege of having fabulous guests throughout the life of this podcast. The episode 143 guest, Dr. Robin Hadley, is no different. Episode 143 first aired in August of 2022. Please take a listen.  Thank you!       Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/ Special thank you to: Dr. Robin Hadley   My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.' ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life'. Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Without an Anchor on Mother's Day Hello, and welcome to episode 151 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Mother's Day and Childlessness But first: Are you following the Childless not by Choice podcast? This podcast, my podcast? It's really easy to do and costs nothing. Simply go to Apple podcast, search for Childless not by Choice podcast, and follow. As soon as a new episode comes out, you are notified. As a follower, you get the new episode about a week before I start promoting it on social media.  Also, if you are a patron of the show, meaning you make a financial contribution to the show, more on that in a second, you get to be in the know first, whenever something new is happening!    Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: This is year four since my mom left this world. I hear tell year three is the worst year of grieving a loss. Does that make year four and beyond, are more manageable? Maybe, but one of the important lessons I learned along the grieving journey, is that people grieve differently.  I'm glad I learned that early because I would have been upset at certain people that did not seem to grieve the way I was grieving. I also realized that my grief wasn't necessarily more important, it was just different. And different can happen for many reasons. It can happen if you were the last person to see that person alive, or you were the primary caregiver. It does not mean that the people who were not there or who were not the primary caregiver are not grieving. It just means that people will grieve differently. That, again, was a very, very important lesson to learn, because I know I would have been upset if I did not get that understanding early.  So, does year four and beyond bring lesser grief? I don't think so. I think grief just becomes more manageable with time. That's it. I find that I smile more when talking about my mom now. I was told that would happen, but I did not believe it! My mom had jokes. She loved to laugh. I am convinced she would have loved Tik Tok. I've mentioned this in the past, but she even got jokes out of the evening news. Go figure!  Sometimes I think about the jokes she told over and over, about her childhood. There are inside jokes I will take with me to my grave. There are things she made me promise not to tell. Mostly benign things to be honest. But I will honor her memory by keeping my promises to her.  No matter how young or old you are when you lose your mother, it doesn't matter, in my opinion. Your mother is your anchor. When you lose her, you lose your anchor, at least temporarily. That was something else I learned early in my grief journey. I couldn't figure out the feeling I had. I felt lost, and it was scary. Then someone mentioned that she felt anchorless after losing her mother. I remembered thinking, ‘That's it! That's the feeling I had, but did not understand.'   It's so important, at least for me, to listen to other people's grief journey. It doesn't mean mine will be the exact journey, it just means I can glean something, and I have. A lot. I have heard some women say things like ‘It's been 20 years since I lost my mom, and I still miss her so much!' I was like What?! I can't feel like this for 20 years!  But now, four years in, I realize what they mean. It's still early days for me, but I can see how you can miss someone forever but still be able to manage life even as you manage loss.  If you do not or did not get along with your mother, if she did not care for you like a mother should, or the way you needed her to, I believe you can feel anchorless as well. I believe it is definitely a type of loss. And I'm sorry for your loss. I hope and pray for you, a peace that passes all understanding as you continue on your life's journey. Is there a convergence at a certain point in life as we continue on our childless not by choice journey, where the two types of grief: the loss of a mother and childlessness, converge? I think maybe yes. For me, off and on I've felt a little off-kilter because there is no one to look back to for guidance, comfort, or commiseration, which is what I got from my mom. And no one to look forward to, in a child, to see what's going on in the next generation. The only real connection I have to the next generation would be the young people in my life, mainly my nephews. I get a little snippet of what the next generation is dealing with, managing, and experiencing, by watching little snippets of their lives. I'm a little out of touch with the current music and other trends because, I believe, I don't have kids. Although honestly, I don't think anything beats 80's music!  If you have younger nieces and nephews whose lives you are allowed/able to be a part of, create a relationship with them. It's easier when they are younger of course, but no matter when it is, start if you haven't already, make a genuine attempt.  Even if it's a card every once in a while, a gift card to their favorite place on their birthday, going to a game when you can, you know. Something that shows them you care. You can do all of that without being pushy. Let me know how it works, or if you need any tips. I am so honored to be a part of my nephew's lives. I hope you can have the same or similar experiences. Well,  before I leave you, let me give you some reminders: Mother's Day is a day of recognition.  There are many fabulous moms, step-moms, foster moms, grandmothers who are taking the place of moms, aunt-moms, you name it, there are some fabulous women out there doing fabulous things to raise fabulous kids, which in turn keeps society together. Because without them, there would be societal mayhem. If you think things are bad now…if you are one of these people I just listed, thank you! If you are childless not by choice, remember that you are worthy. We are worthy. With or without the recognition on Mother's Day, we are worthy! If we are alive we have a role to play in this world. Never let anyone allow you to feel less than. Practice mental health. If it means staying off of social media, do that. If it means skipping a ‘Mother's Day luncheon', skip it. If you recall from earlier episodes, I had stopped going to church on Mother's Day after my mom passed. I only went to honor her. If there was a luncheon, I went to honor her. Now that she's gone, I skip church on Mother's Day. Practice mental health. Whatever that is for you. And don't let anyone try to guilt you into doing anything you prefer not to do. Create and maintain those firm but kind boundaries I talk about all the time, so that number three becomes easier to do. It will, I promise.  Do you recall from episode 150 where I mentioned that most childless not by choice listeners probably have had or will have some type of surgery? Well, I asked the question in the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook page, and I got a number of responses!   Feel free to email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com Messenger me on Facebook or Instagram, and let me know. I will keep the poll open for a while longer, and share the statistics on a later episode. You all know I love statistics!   #youdonthaveto       Special thank you to: ‘Mareshah Miller, for this quote: ‘Mothers in disguise are called aunts.'  My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It's that easy!  Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.' ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life'. Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV  

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 150 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Scar Tissue   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Talk about what put me in the hospital for four days in early March.  So, on March 3rd I found myself in the worst belly pain I have ever had. The pain felt very similar to a pain I had the year before, but the pain had gone away by the next day. This time, it wasn't going away. By the next day, I made the decision to go to the emergency room. I told them what was going on with this immense pain in my stomach, and they took an MRI of my belly. The test results came back: partially blocked intestines. I was like what?! What does that even mean? It turns out that what was causing the partial blockage was scar tissue.  I asked then scar tissue from what!? My last surgery for anything was in 2011! I was told it did not matter how long ago the surgery was, scar tissue can come back to haunt you at any time. The whole thing sounded out of this world. Unbelievable.  For a fleeting moment, I thought about how all those surgeries I had for a decade, as I tried to buy time. Should I have had the hysterectomy earlier? I should have skipped all of the myomectomies. But the fact is looking back is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything.  I guess the medical staff was used to this because immediately they gave me a concoction to coat my stomach and quell the pain. They also offered some very strong pain medication, but I declined it as I wanted to be alert and aware. I had gone to the emergency room alone, and my dad had recently been put into rehab. I wanted to be coherent for any possible phone call from the rehab center as he had been there less than a week.     Talk about the statistics for childless women over 50. So, according to Statista, a statistics company, 15.4% of women over 50 are childless. Why am I mentioning this, because well, I'm, um, a certain age? Ok, I'm in that age group.  OK, but I'm talking about this because as I mentioned earlier when I got the MRI results that I had a partially blocked intestines, the first things that started to come to my mind were ‘I should have had the hysterectomy earlier', ‘I should not have waited an entire decade', ‘why did I try to buy time?' All of these questions! Until I made myself stop! Questioning, second-guessing, none of that would change anything now.      Discuss how not to get scar tissue I have an article on the website www.childlessnotbychoice.net about post-operation behavior to help you heal better and avoid scar tissue. Link in the show notes I knew that avoiding scar tissue was and is very important. I thought I had done everything I could to avoid scar tissue, but I guess not!     Discuss stress, adhesions, and scar tissue I was told that this type of issue, pain, is typically brought on by stress. And yes, I have been under a lot of stress the last few months. I have been trying to figure out how stress could bring this on. This isn't my first bout with stress since my last surgery in 2011. But maybe it is a combination of high stress and just plain getting older.  Research links: https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2010/06/25/childlessness-up-among-all-women-down-among-women-with-advanced-degrees/ Articles/links of interest: https://kashmirobserver.net/2023/03/17/finding-hope-and-happiness-beyond-childlessness/?unapproved=45353&moderation-hash=17d1478d87afd99cead8a3fcc981ecba#comment-45353 Special thank you to: The hospital staff that cared for me during my four-day stay.  My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It's that easy!   

Hello, and welcome to episode 149 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? International Women's Month NOTE: I called it International Women's History Month on the podcast. That's OK, right?   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: So March is International Women's History Month. There is so much that can be said about how far we as women have come, and how far we have yet to go. I guess it is like any other so-called minority. There is yet work to be done. And we cannot afford to rest. But we can stop to celebrate every once in a while.  Celebration gives us hope for the future, highlights those who have come before us, and those we see as the future. I thought about highlighting women who have worked to make life better for all women whether nationally here in the US, or internationally. Either way, their work helps us in every corner of the globe. But I've done that. It took two episodes to do it too. That's how many fabulous childless not by choice women there have been, and are. The links are in the show notes for episodes 78 and 79–Childless not by Choice Women Who Changed The World! But there are two women I have watched and admired for years, and who honestly, let me put the word out, I would love on my podcast!  I have admired them for their class and grace in the face of a world that can be really harsh toward women who never had children.  And may I remind you, I talk about the childless not by choice. That is what this podcast has always been about, but if a woman decides she would rather not have children, it is not society's business. It is her business. Why can't we mind our own business?   Calling a woman a crazy cat lady because she never had children, says more about the name-caller than it does about the woman. I mean, we don't typically get to know the real reason a woman never had children unless you listen to a podcast like mine. And I doubt name-callers have the time to actually do the research before calling people names and deriding them. Us.     Anyway:         Tracee Ellis Ross…  Tracee Ellis Ross is the daughter of Legend Diana Ross. She recently talked about not having children, and about going through perimenopause, saying 'I Can Feel My Body's Ability To Make A Child Draining Out Of Me'. Woah! Never thought about it quite like that before! She never married, so I feel like I have at least two things in common with this legend in her own right.  There is a link in the show notes with the entire article. There are actually two links in the show notes with content about Tracee Ellis Ross. Please check them out. No one escapes the joys and sadnessess of life, and I'm sure she has her moments, but I love the way she shows up and does life with positivity, poise, and charm, no matter what.     https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5 https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/tracee-ellis-ross-perimenopause/ Jennifer Anniston  In a February 2023 Marie Claire article, Jennifer Anniston talked about the way she used to feel about the rumor mongers and naysayers who knew nothing about her personal life, saying “I used to take it all very personally — the pregnancy rumors and the whole 'Oh, she chose career over kids' assumption,” she told the publication. “It's like, ‘You have no clue what's going with me personally, medically, why I can't … can I have kids?' They don't know anything, and it was really hurtful and just nasty.” We really need to lift each other up as women and keep in mind that everyone has a story. And furthermore, we do not know everyone's story. How could we? It always amazes me how absolute strangers believe they have the right to voice an opinion about another person's life.  The link is in the show notes for the full article.  Please check that out as well! https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment So, remember, no matter where on the planet you are, fabulous woman, childless woman, childfree woman, a woman with children; I am thinking of you, hoping for you praying for you, speaking up for you.  You are worthy. You are valued. You are here for a reason. Happy International Women's month!   There are lots of research links in the show notes for this episode. One in particular that I found interesting because they discuss childlessness, childfree-ness, singleness, single and childess. I mean they discussed all the angles of childlessness. Check it out!     Research links: Articles/links of interest: https://womenshistorymonth.gov/   https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/womens-history-month/womens-history-month-history/   https://ifstudies.org/blog/1-in-4-projecting-childlessness-among-todays-young-women   https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5 Podcast links mentioned in the episode: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-79-part-two-11-childless-not-by-choice-women-who-changed-the-world/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/   https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment Special thank you to: All the women in the world!    My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

  Hello, and welcome to episode 148 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: I begged, plead, and bargained with God for a family. I wanted at least one kid, a boy. It was always a boy. I even had a name picked out. You know, it is important not to tell people your business. It was so long ago so I don't know  I don't know why I mentioned the name out loud, but one day I did.  The first time I heard the name I felt an instant connection. I started researching the meaning, the definition and found it quite fitting for all I had been going through. The tons of fibroids, all of the myomectomies, the crying myself to sleep. The name reaps up painful memories of a challenging part of my journey.  Someone named one of her children that very name. It broke my heart. Honestly, I kinda felt somewhere deep down at that time, that I would not be having a child. But there was still a tiny window of hope. If that makes sense.   I worked at a certain company years ago where I recall all the young moms planning day trips to child-friendly locales. I wasn't jealous, I thought it was beautiful. It was their way of getting their little people out of the house and getting themselves out of the house as well. All of these young women got along, so they wanted their kids to get along. Nothing wrong with that. But of course, I remained silent. I had nothing to contribute, even to say what a beautiful idea, could possibly make me a target.  I remained stoic, staring at my computer, as they all buzzed around me making their plans. I know some of you are in that part of the journey right now. And all I can tell you, as trite as it may sound, ‘this too shall pass'. It really will. And the other thing I will tell you is don't pretend. Yes, it's OK to smile through your day if that's what you do, but please go to therapy.  At that point in my life, I had not gone to therapy yet. In fact, it was just before I went. Please go to therapy. Do nice things for yourself as often as you can during this time. Go to the beach, go to your favorite coffee shop, your favorite museum, or whatever makes you happy. And tell yourself every day, that you are worthy. You are not a second-class citizen. You are here for a reason. Remind yourself of all the good things about you, and work on whatever you need to work on to make yourself an even better human. That's for you to know and to work on.  I am no longer dealing with children issues, I guess it's grandchildren issues now. I mean it is never going to end, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is to belong to Community, the childless not by choice community. It has grown so much over the last few years. There is a place for you no matter where in the world you are.    You know, as I recall the times of crying myself to sleep, as I listened to my biological clock tick, tick, tick.  Begging God to answer my prayers, as things got progressively worse. And then the time came for me to have a hysterectomy. No answer. No response. Those are times that I look back on with a modicum of pain, but I am still here, so I believe my life events have strengthened me. In fact, empowered me. I know the same can be for you. Just hang in there no matter where in the journey you are.  That boy's name. I won't mention it. Maybe one day I will. But not today. It is a powerful name. You may try to figure it out. Be my guest. Hint: It's not a person's name, but it could be.  You know, I can say that my childless not by choice experience is based on this name. I got nothing out of my life that I expected or wanted. The life I wanted, expected, was somehow sacrificed. Yes, the name is very fitting.  I had to make the decision to push through. To not be bitter. To decide not to be bitter. It is an actual choice, a decision. It doesn't just happen.    If you don't make the decision, the results of life will make the decisions for you. And life's choices, and decisions, are not usually good. We have to literally wash the lemons, cut them up, squeeze them into cold water, with some vanilla or lemon essence, and some sugar. YOu have to literally make the lemonade. Make the best of the life you have been given.   Before I let you go, I want to read this poem to you. I was searching for a notebook to take notes for a course I am taking. Knowing me I figured I had to have an unused notebook somewhere. I happily found the notebook I needed, and there was a folded piece of paper sticking out. It's dated June of 2004.     Research links: 2004 poem I wrote and just found on the back of a notebook on Sunday, January 15, 2023: I don't care how light or dark my baby is, I just want a baby. I just want him to be healthy. ‘Ten fingers, ten toes, two feet, two hands, and a nose! Two eyes, two ears; if it's a girl, enough hair for her bows. Dimples on her cheeks like grandma, or a dimple in the chin like me and grandpa. Kicking around when she has a pamper change, rolling over which starts her independence stage. A girly girl, or a boy full of energy; either one, it does not matter to me. I'll take one of each at the same time, that would be a sight to see. Everyone loves twins you see, especially me! –Civilla (June 2004).       Episode quotes: ‘Do the best you can with what's left of your heart.'-Civilla 'The journey does not end, the terrain changes.'-Civilla  Articles/links of interest: https://www.yicaiglobal.com/news/one-tenth-of-chinese-women-are-childless-up-from-6-cpdrc-says   https://people.com/parents/chelsea-handler-explains-why-she-doesnt-want-kids/#:~:text=Chelsea%20Handler%20is%20ruling%20out,see%20children%20in%20her%20future. My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 147 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today's show about? My conversation with Yvonne John–Author of Dreaming of a Life Unlived, Speaker, and advocate for the Childless not by Choice community.    But first…   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Today's guest has visited us before. Tune into episode 103, link in the show notes to hear our first conversation. I Invited her back because she has done quite a bit since our last conversation. Check out her website, www.findingmyplanb.com, to see what I mean. And we will be talking about some of the things today. I can't wait.   Hi Yvonne… Talk about the blogs on The Agojie People portrayed in The Woman King and the blog on Annie Turnbo Malone.  I actually went straight to the Annie Turnbo Malone post because, well there is a lot of history, most of it negative, unfortunately, about black hair. I did not know she developed and patented the straightening comb! Your blogs are very informative Yvonne!      Before we get started, can you tell us about the photo project you were a part of, and if there is a link or website we can go to?   Tell us about your role or contribution to The Gateway Women's Reignite weekend workshops.  And you are training to be a therapist. Do you have a certain topic in mind will it be geared to childless not by choice? And Ted (Talk) tell us about Ted now that you've put the word out. I'll also be taking part in the WhittyGordon Projects 'Edge Of Visibility' Film - The film is about changing the narrative about women over 50 as being past it and recognising and shining light on strong women who are embracing the next phase of their lives in a way that is individual, creative and unapologetic. I know you said you would be doing a Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness' session about on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood, is that done or is it upcoming?  Thank you for all you do in the childless not by choice community, and in particular for the women of color in the childless not by choice community. Any final words for the listeners before we go?    Yvonne's Contact Information: https://findingmyplanb.com   Articles/links of interest: http://www.whittygordon.com/ Talk by Yvonne John at Melanie Stidolph's solo exhibition ‘As it is seen.' https://melaniestidolph.com/   Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness' session about/on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood  Interview by Lauren McMenemy from Minds@Work on being CNBC and how that impacts mental health at work Watch Yvonne in conversation with Lauren McMenemy  here:  https://youtu.be/--t1zrteCZY   My first conversation with Yvonne John:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-103-childlessness-is-not-an-illness-3/ Remember the conversation about the photographer at the beginning of the episode? Here's the link to his website:  https://www.cephaswilliams.com/  Sarah Baartman images:  http://bit.ly/3VQNhR9   Triggers episode: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about David Richo:  https://davericho.com/books/ As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about Richard Rohr:  https://store.cac.org/collections/richard-rohr?_=pf&display=list&gclid=Cj0KCQiA45qdBhD-ARIsAOHbVdG-lzau4TsDX2DH-JKi_QHLI9trYICuGe6jd6QLAVir7gThA0JKAboaAr5eEALw_wcB Quote: ‘If you do not share your story, you will show your story.'--Richard Rohr. Special thank you to: Yvonne John My Patrons  My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice  

Hello, and welcome to episode 146 and one half— the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.  Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Happy New Year!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: Mention annual goals template  Consider becoming a patron–Patreon or PayPal  Episode 147–airs soon!    Articles/links of interest:   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 146 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. This is the December 2022 episode. Our holiday episode! Thanks for stopping by! Well, the last two months the podcast has been on hiatus, and I am happy to be back! What is today's show about? Childless not by choice during the holidays! Over the last few years, I have talked to us, reminded us, of how to be, how to do, as childless not by choice people during the holidays!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      **PLEASE CONSIDER BECOMING A PATREON PATRON THIS YEAR** If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   Thank you to the listeners from different countries.  A great big thank you to all of my listeners all over the world. From Australia to Tanzania, from China to Luxembourg, from Ghana to America. From India to Austria. You all are tuning in and listening! Thank you!  I continue to be humbled! I would also like to thank those who reached out to me via Messenger and email. I am so glad the podcast is helping you. Please keep listening!   Episodes coming up in 2023. So, I am working on more great episodes for 2023! I feel like 2022 had a theme of health. We talked about food, diet, well-being, exercise, mental health, and all the things that strengthen us from the inside out. I did not plan a theme for 2023, but I feel like it will come together beautifully just like 2022.  In the meantime, sit with me for a few, and let's talk.   The heart of the childless not by choice during the holidays.  I don't know about you, but I can feel the feelings creeping in right around October. I start to feel un-holiday-ish. I tell myself that I will not celebrate this year. I'm just not up for all the pomp and circumstance of it all.  But as November rolls in, the month of Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I try to get myself in the mood. And the thing is, I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving gives me a chance to cook and bake. Christmas typically gives me a chance to catch up with family and friends. Getting into the festive mood takes work these last few years though. I had that childish anticipation all the way through adulthood. But it has dimmed, and I know that it is at least in part because my mom is gone. And we all have heard how the holidays can magnify loss. It's true, they do magnify loss. If you are going through and dealing with the same feelings, don't ignore them. Recognize them, admit them to yourself, and take them one day at a time. But don't allow your feelings to dictate your decisions. That is one thing my dad told me years ago. Feelings change. So when you are making your decisions about how to spend your holidays, be intentional. Intentional: it is our keyword for this episode because intentionality is very important. And it is different from than intention. You see, we can intend to do something and never get around to it. But intentional means we are making decisions actively. We are actively involved in our decision-making and in our decisions. Sometimes we have to intentionally show up at the gatherings, sometimes it feels like we have no choice. We have elderly family members whom we do not know how many more family gatherings we will spend with them. And then at the other end of the spectrum, we have young family members with whom we would like to build a positive relationship.  But I have said this before, there is nothing wrong with making different plans once in a while. Life is short. It's short for everyone.   The thing about making different plans for the holidays or any other time is that we have to then stand by them. We have to practice standing by our decision once we have made our plans. The way to stand by plans and decisions is to weigh those plans and decisions carefully. Weighing, deciding, and then standing.   I think we get better at weighing, deciding, and then standing as we mature.  You know life is filled with disappointments. And sometimes we may have wished we had made different decisions, but the fact is, no one is perfect.  All we can do is the best we can do.   We have to decide to make certain decisions about our lives. We don't know how much time we have. Any of us.  So thinking about ourselves more does not mean we are selfish. Everyone is living their lives. Are they selfish for caring for their spouses, children, their work-life balance? They wouldn't think so. I don't think so.    It is definitely OK and healthy, to care for ourselves, to consider ourselves. To love ourselves. To speak kind words to ourselves, and practice makes perfect.            Here are five ways we can love, consider, and protect ourselves:    Look in the mirror every morning as you wash your face or put on your makeup, and smile at yourself. Say kind words to yourself, even when you have messed up. Never, never, never call yourself names, even in jest. Never.  Do not allow others to call you names, even in jest. If someone is calling you names and says they are joking, be aware. I realize some of you live in parts of the world where pushing back can be dangerous. If you are not able to push back on the name-calling or mistreatment, practice speaking silently to yourself and saying ‘I do not receive that.' Do not allow negativity into your spirit, your heart, or your mind. You would be surprised to know how much unchecked negativity is affecting you. Do not receive it.  Do something kind for yourself on a regular basis. The women in my Facebook group know that I buy myself flowers on a regular basis. I work from home, so in the midst of all my office stuff, I get to glance over at my flowers every once in a while. They bring me a moment of joy as I work. Do something. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant.    When the world, our world, realizes we have only good, positive intentions for ourselves, they will eventually come to realize that they are getting nowhere trying to get us to ‘come around'. That is why it is important for us to know ourselves, to respect ourselves, to be kind to ourselves.  If you don't like and respect you, it will be difficult for others to like and respect you, even your own family members.  Consider this: if we are doing what everyone else wants us to do all the time, are we happy? Are we living our best, most joyful, and relevant lives? You know, I did not know what gaslighting was until just a few years ago. But once I found out about it, I realized there were times during my life when I had been gaslit! I am glad I can now recognize it for what it is, and can act accordingly. Acting accordingly when being gaslit means recognizing it when it is happening, trusting your gut that it is happening, and then standing firm in the love and protection you created for yourself. I put an article in the show notes that defines gaslighting, and explains how to recognize it. Check it out. It's intriguing.  And no, I did not take a sudden left turn and changed the subject. Gaslighting can happen to anyone. But it I believe we are more susceptible when we are heartbroken, grieving, and unaware of how worthy we are.  We all as human beings have been through a lot these last few years.       We have suffered some form of loss, and then on top of that loss a pandemic. Some of us are still dealing with brain fog and other effects of COVID.  I am dealing with serious brain fog. But honestly, I don't know if it is COVID  or being a woman of a certain age, or both. Either way lets practice those five things I mentioned earlier, especially as we head into a fresh new year. Let's practice being intentional.  Closing: Be sure to check out the show notes. I put some links in this episode's show notes that I believe you will like. For instance, there is an article here on the definition and effects of gaslighting. There is a link to my Only One in the Room interview. It's always cool to be interviewed! Thanks again to those who reached out to me during hiatus. You made my day!  Remember, be kind to yourself!    See you in January! Articles/links of interest: https://punchng.com/court-dissolves-14-year-marriage-over-childlessness/ Video interview of my guest appearance on The Only One In The Room Podcast:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlD8pPwm88c   Article on the definition and the effects of gaslighting   https://www.ananiasfoundation.org/gaslighting/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA99ybBhD9ARIsALvZavVGy2VRJhIZTWHsOBEFyrsuskUlywx_TwnYtS_cVrsCjtF2qwWuh24aAgC0EALw_wcB Episode quotes: Be intentional. Five things we can do to love, consider, and protect ourselves. Practice speaking silently to yourself…do not allow negativity into your heart and your mind. Say kind words to yourself. Special thank you to: All of the wonderful listeners of the Childless not by Choice podcast!  All of the guests of the podcast! All of the wonderful patrons of the platform! My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello! It's me, Civilla! I wanted to stop by to let you know I am going on hiatus, returning in December with a fresh new episode.  While away, I will definitely be working. completing blogs I have not had much time to work on, planning 2023 episodes, and getting caught up on some much-needed rest! Speaking of 2023 episodes, if you follow me on Instagram at Joyandrelevance, you heard my open call for 2023 episodes. For details, visit my Instagram page for details. I pinned the video to the top. In a nutshell though, if you or someone you know might be interested in being interviewed for my Childless not by Choice podcast in 2023, reach out to me at civilla@civillamorgan.com.  PLEASE NOTE: you must be childless not by choice. In other words, never able to have the child or children you wanted. Once I receive your email, I will schedule a time with you via Calendly, for a pre-interview. This does not mean there will be a guaranteed interview. I will not be able to interview everyone I speak to. And please do not be upset or offended if I do not think we should follow through. I will always put my listeners first, and I will not air an episode I do not feel will help them on their childless not by choice journey. I appreciate your understanding. While I am away, please be sure to go back through the back catalog and listen to episodes you may have missed. Check out the website, and join one of the Facebook groups. The Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group is for women only, who never had children. The Supporters of the Childless not by Choice Community Facebook with Civilla Morgan is for anyone. If you are on Instagram, feel free to follow me at joyandrelevance for more content on childless not by choice, and for pictures. I love pictures.   Speaking of pictures, I am also on Pinterest, at civilla1. I post the episodes there as well. And I have thousands of pictures of everything I'm interested in. So there. I LOVE pictures! In the meantime, in other news, I was honored to be a World Childless Week Champion for 2022. Click the link in the show notes to be taken to the World Childless Week website.  World Childless Week 2022 went from September 12th to the 18th, so by the time you hear this, it will be over. But it takes place every September. Please do check out their site, get some knowledge and info, and be ready for next year! It was truly an honor to be asked! Also, Michael Hughes of the Full Stop Pod podcast created a beautiful video of childless not by choice platform creators encouraging us all on this childless not by choice journey. Once it is available for public viewing I will let you know! Next, I have also added the link in the show notes for a recent podcast interview. I was interviewed on the Only One In The Room Podcast! It was so exciting and I can't wait for you to hear it. The link is in the show notes. I really felt like with this interview I was telling the world about us! One more thing: if you would like to become a monthly patron of the podcast, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice.net. If you would like to make a one-time or every once in a while contribution, visit my Paypal account at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Every contribution, no matter how large or small, will go toward the podcast. In fact, I am thinking, after seven years of using the same equipment, of doing an upgrade. Changing my microphone and purchasing a new boom arm, to be exact. I have already purchased and am learning how to use an audio interface product. Thanks, Rob, my podcast producer, for your help.    So I have a story for you before I let you go. And I am telling you in the hopes it will encourage you as it did me:  On the day I am recording this episode, Hurricane Ian is headed straight at us. Every forecast says the entire state will be taking a hit. It is also a Sunday today.  My typical Sunday is to attend church online or in person. It's what I have done every Sunday of my life unless I was sick. But with Ian headed our way, and having had to work all week, I had to order hurricane-type food curbside from my local grocery store yesterday.  Today I had to go top off my gas tank and then buy gas for our generator in case we lose power. But something I have never had to do before was to fill sandbags. I spent my Sunday morning buying gas and filling sandbags.  I will be honest, I was feeling pretty down. Much of the negative feelings came from the fact that I had lined up a lawn mowing company to mow our lawn, but he didn't come through. The grass is high, if this storm comes through, there will be even more debris on top of the high grass.  I have no idea what is wrong with our lawn mower. So I sit here not knowing how or when our lawn will be mowed. Back to the sand pile: I got to the location where people were filling sandbags, backed up to a sand pile, and realized everyone had their own shovels.  I didn't know you had to bring your own shovel. There were two women who had a shovel and a small bucket. They offered me their bucket. I was so thankful because it saved me a trip to the local box store as driving home was too far away.  I started filling sandbags and putting them in my trunk. Another vehicle pulled up with two men and a little girl, and they started shoveling. Suddenly one of the men said ‘why don't you use one of my shovels instead of using that bucket?' I thanked him profusely, handed the bucket back to the two ladies, thanked them; and continued to shovel.  I was trying to fill as many bags as I could because I knew I would have to give back the shovel when the men were leaving.  Several bags in, I heard when one of the men said to the little girl, ‘go ahead, ask her.' Suddenly the little girl said, ‘ma'am would you like me to hold the back open so you can put the sand in?' I told her how kind she was and thanked her for her help.  It looked like the men were finishing up. So I asked if they needed their shovel back. One of the men said ‘no, when we are finished we will help you with your bags.'  Whew, all of these people had no way of knowing how really low I had been feeling all morning! I feel like God knew how low I was feeling, and wanted to remind me that He is in the big things and the little things. He sent me to that sand pile.  If you ever feel like offering help to someone on this journey called life, do it. If they say no, it's on them. You did your part. If they say yes, you can feel good in knowing you are helping to make this crazy world a better place for someone.             Here's a quote from TobyMacSpeaks: ‘Some stranger somewhere remembers  you because you were kind to them.'  Well, you know how to reach me. Just remember to give me 24 to 48 hours to respond.  Remember, everything you need to know about this episode is in the show notes!    See you in December!     Links mentioned: World Childless Week https://worldchildlessweek.net/events/2022/9/12/world-childless-week-2022   The Only One In The Room podcast interview  https://megaphone.link/LAV6430207146 https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/LAV2696308372?selected=LAV6430207146 My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 144 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Joyful Eating!   But first! Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Intro: I was thinking as I prepped for this episode that I don't believe I've ever read a book by a nutritionist. I'm sure at some point most of us have read some type of nutrition flyer our doctor gave us at an appointment. Or maybe we googled a particular food, or even what food to eat for a certain medical complaint like certain fruit or vegetables are good for inflammation. Or if you are like me, I make many food decisions based on what I read on the label. I watch the sugar, salt, carbohydrates, etc. Well, except during my birthday month. But I digress!    Reading Joyful Eating was an eye opener as I think my biggest take aways were: not beating myself up over my weight, not feeling guilty about my food choices, to diet or not to diet, and my general relationship with food!   Today we are chatting with Nutritionist/ Author | Nutrition Writer | Recipe Developer | specialising in a non-diet and mindful eating approach, Mrs. Tansy Boggon. I put a link in the show notes to her website, blog, and social media contact. Tansy Boggon wife of our June interview guest Rob Hutchings! Link to that episode in the show notes!   Hi Tansy, welcome to the show! We have so much to talk about!  Body of episode:   As I read your book Joyful Eating, I dog-eared and highlighted so many pages! And I love how you start with your food story, including the story of your mom and grandmother. Why did you choose to start Joyful Eating in this way? What caused you to become a nutritionist?    (pg 7, 13).    Do you believe the stress of childlessness, our self-worth even, can tie in with our relationship with food?   Well, speaking of the previous question, on page 26 you speak of ‘the myth of optimal health'.  (read highlighted section). On Page 27 you say…read section). I thought it so intriguing and important to recognize that weight, healthy weight, can be relative to the doctor we are seeing: cardiologist, primary care provider, psychologist, etc. Tell us more!    Self-care is definitely important right? Many childless not by choice people are doing what they can healthwise to try to have kids. Then coming out the other side of not being able to have kids do you let go of your health and self-care, or find a happy medium? In fact, on page 70 you say that ‘accepting what is does not imply inaction'.  I love that! In our pre-interview, you said that ‘Life can bring joy even as a childless not by choice couple. It has brought a playfulness after the time of adulting and also trying to have a child', Can you speak to the person listening who may be trying to figure out the ‘playfulness' aspect of life, for those who have partners as well as those of us who do not?      7) Tell us about your children's book, how is that done as a childless not by choice person? I mean there are lots of childless not by choice people working with children every day, but is it a giant step to write a book for and about children?   8) And of course, we understand that one's comfort level around children relies on how raw, where you are in your CNBC journey, so definitely don't beat yourself up if you just can't be in the room at that moment. But tapping into the way children see the world is a beautiful way for childless not by choice people see the world.  NOTE: Chapter two of Joyful Eating is available as a free download from Tansy's website.    Articles/links of interest: BLOG: https://www.joyfuleatingnutrition.com/single-post/personal-reflections/living-a-meaningful-life-without-children/   https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-61-alternative-nutrition ‘The Weight of a Woman', sequel to ‘Joyful Eating'   Nutrition for Children:  ‘The Superheroes on Your Plate'. This is the Rob Hutchings episode:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/ EPISODE CLIPS:  ‘I acknowledge that my relationship with my food and my body are constantly evolving...'  ‘We've been taught our whole lives that the way to change our bodies is to criticize, to put it down...' ‘...rather than focusing on this weight…we're imposing an outcome that we want that is very arbitrary…based on what I believe, or the weight I was 20 years ago, or what we see in a magazine…' ‘I'm not going to have a tummy issue because I never had children…I have a tummy issue.' ‘Chapter  ‘Health is not static, it's dynamic.'      Special thank you to: Tansy Boggon Tansy's Contact Information: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tansyboggon/ www.joyfuleatingnutrition.com My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

The Stories Men Tell, my Conversation with Dr. Robin Hadley Shakespeare's 'Ages of Man' : All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;   And then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school. And then the lover, Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress' eyebrow.  Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard, Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel, Seeking the bubble reputation Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice, In fair round belly with good capon lined, With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slippered pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side; His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.  https://www.thefreshreads.com/the-seven-ages-of-man-summary-and-analysis/ Hello, and welcome to episode 143 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? The stories men tell!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: I went back to search for our first ever interview and it was 2017! Time flies doesn't it? (link in the show notes).  In that story, you told a story about an interaction at a sports field. I've thought about that story because it just tugged at my heart. Can you tell us more stories of men dealing with childlessness in the real world? (five stories?)   Discuss the book–It's more educational, four chapters on men's stories, background to aging, childlessness, a reference book with the human stories, including Robin's, why don't men talk.   Tell us a little bit about AWOC–Aging Without Children, of which you are a member. ‘If you're not counted you don't count.'--Horace Sheffield.     Articles/links of interest:   All The World's a Stage, William Shakespeare, read by Morgan Freeman   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5hcaYEcAp0     https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/   Cynthia Daniels—Exposing Men–The Science and Politics of Male Reproduction    Blogs: 'Coping with Father's Day as a childless man': http://bit.ly/2HRekoC 'Negative perceptions of older childless men': http://bit.ly/2LnGZnQ 'The un-held hand': http://bit.ly/2n2sn2H ‘Non-fatherhood on ‘Fathers Day': http://bit.ly/2MvBpQm 'The case of the invisible older childless men': bit.ly/1SFNsrJ       News media: Daily Telegraph: 'Men 'just as broody as women': http://bit.ly/179NLSD   'HOW IS A MAN SUPPOSED TO BE A MAN? Male Childlessness –  a Life Course Disrupted': https://bit.ly/3aa3TfO 25% discount CCPOD discount code   Latest work: Hadley, R. A. (2020). "Male broodiness...": https://bit.ly/36pOvLz Hadley, RA. 'Men and Me(n)' researching men: https://bit.ly/3c3EKTJ Marston, Musselwhite & Hadley. COVID-19 vs Social Isolation: https://bit.ly/2xYSUGC Academic papers 2019: 'Anxious childhood attachment predicts childlessness in later life': http://bit.ly/2RcGXEM 2019: ‘Social networks of older childless men: http://bit.ly/2LHvJWr 2019: The impact of male involuntary childlessness: http://bit.ly/2INE9rX 2018: The lived experience of older involuntarily childless men: http://bit.ly/2CXeJGQ 2018:The lived experience of older involuntarily childless men: http://bit.ly/2KgP5gt 2011: Involuntarily childless men & the desire for fatherhood:http://bit.ly/2iMN4RB Book chapters 2019: Deconstructing Dad. Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology: http://bit.ly/2VHuJTU 2018: Ageing without Children, gender and social justice: http://bit.ly/2twhV6s 2018: I Only Wanted to be a Dad': https://amzn.to/2z7q9I6   Special thank you to: Dr. Robin Hadley  Dr. Hadley's Contact/Social Media:  Website: https://www.robinhadley.co.uk/ Orcid: https://orcid.org/0000-0003-4254-7648 Twitter: @robinhadley1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-hadley-47282471/ Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/author/robinhadleybook My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice Attached are the reviews of the book that have come out so far. The article titled 'Book review 2022 HRM' is one I wrote on behalf of an academic who wanted to help promote the book but didn't have time to read it!   Episode quotes:  ‘Why are you on the church school board if you don't have kids?' ‘The church is my family.' ‘If you're not counted, you don't count.--Horace Sheffield. ‘Men, including fathers, have a fear of being seen as pedophiles when they are single and or childless.' ‘Society doesn't want to know its men are not virile.'   25% discount CCPOD discount code  

Intro: What is today's show about? My Podcastiversary!   Hello Guys and Dolls, welcome to episode 142! And seven years! I had no idea I would still be podcasting. I had no idea I would still like it, never mind the fact that I absolutely still love it!  That clip you just heard, was me responding to the question of the month on The School of Podcasting podcast. It is one of the podcasts for podcasters that I listen to on a regular basis. In fact, I interviewed the host of that show a while back. I will put the link in the show notes.  So, about the podcast: hearts are healing, minds are being refreshed, new people are finding the show, and childless not by choice people are boldly exploring new ways to live the childless not by choice life.  For instance: in episode 141 I spoke with Triathlete Rob Hutchings for our Father's Day episode.  We talked about his journey to adoption and how that journey ended without a successful adoption. But he and his wife have decided to live their best most relevant lives hiking, swimming, and traveling. Oh, and I will be interviewing Rob's wife for a future episode!  In episode 140, Hiding in plain sight? One of my long-time listeners posted in our Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group that this episode spoke to her.  I really loved hearing that!   Over the past year we have discussed, the need for hope, in episode 139, pre-and peri-menopause, episode 138, and episode 137 where I spoke to Sheri Johnson about worth. Our worth as childless not by choice people. By the way, if you want to hear Sheri interview me, check out her podcast Awakening Worth, episode 57! Whew! I got some serious feedback on that episode. I really enjoyed it!  Going all the way back to January of this year, 2022, there were two episodes that month. Episode 136 where I stop by to say Happy New Year! And episode 135, Where I speak to the one and only Sarah Roberts, founder of The Empty Cradle. That was a lovely episode and a wonderful way to start the new year!  It's been a fabulous year so far! But there is so much more coming! I am not even sure I will take my two-month hiatus! If I decide to, I will stop by to let you know. Stay tuned!    So look, I would like to say a great big THANK YOU to all of you who tune in every month. For those who are just finding the podcast and the platform, for those who tell others about the podcast. Thank you.  Spreading the word is what I really want to happen now. I want more childless not by choice people around the world to feel hopeful about their lives although things did not turn out as expected.   I want you to know that even when you are feeling down or negative about life, those feelings are fleeting. You are worthy. You have as much right to be here as anyone else.  Those thoughts and feelings come to the best of us. The key is to recognize them, but not entertain them. Don't let them hang around for too long.  Manage your mind and your heart regularly. What you entertain and allow to hang around, is what can overwhelm you. So look to be overwhelmed in a positive way.   I want to tell you a couple more things: one, I am on Tik Tok! I fought it for so long, but I finally joined the platform. I am slowly building content and I already have a small following! I will tell you that I get so many jokes from that platform. I can be having a really bad day, but if I tune in just before bedtime, I will definitely get a laugh or two! What I like about the platform is that it really picks up on what I like, so I will seldom get any craziness in my feed. If you are on Tik Tok, please do follow. I would love to hear from you! Drop a hello from time to time! Also, one of the ways I really feel that getting the word out to every part of the world is using a podcast app that acts like a phone. And acting like a phone means the listener has the option to tune into the podcast by dialing in. The only app I am aware of that does this is an app called Bullhorn. If you live in a part of the world or you know someone who lives where data is difficult to obtain, or just plain expensive; try Bullhorn. And no, they are not sponsoring my podcast. I just love that their product can work for those where data can be an issue.  Well, I want to once again thank you for listening to the Childless not by Choice podcast. I hope you are subscribed, or as Apple calls it, following. I hope you are following. Remember, you can subscribe on the Apple app, but there are tons of other podcast apps out there. They are also called podcatchers. I am subscribed to multiple podcatcher apps, such as Stitcher, Gaana (which is an Indian app), Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Play, Podbean, and then of course Spotify, Pandora, and I am sure I am missing someone. So whatever your preference, I am probably there! If you ever have questions about subscribing, episode suggestions, anything, message me! I am happy to help! Happy Podcastiversary! Keep listening! Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Articles of interest:   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/final-cnbc-ep-140/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/more-hope-please-and-other-things/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-137-what-is-your-worth-my-conversation-with-sheri-johnson/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-135-the-empty-cradle-my-conversation-with-counselor-sarah-roberts/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-116-my-conversation-with-dave-jackson-3/ Special thank you to: My guests and listeners this past year. My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM TikTok: 2podcastertoohttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 141 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Rob Hutchings: ‘Downriver Nomad–A Triathlete's Adventures and Adversities Into The Rapids'    Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Intro (for guest episodes): Rob's intro Triathlete and marathon swimmer, Rob Hutchings takes us on a whirlwind journey from triathlons and his first marathon swim in his home country of Canada, to Ironman competitions across the pond. Then down under to Australia and New Zealand where he embarked on marathon adventures off the beaten track, on land, and in the water, which led to his biggest challenge – an unprecedented attempt at swimming the turbulent 256 km Clutha River. In Downriver Nomad, Rob shares his story of adventures and adversities not only in the water, on the racecourse, and off the beaten track, but also his struggles with an alcoholic father and his own unsuccessful path to fatherhood. His is a story of humor, heartbreak, and challenges that will inspire the absolute beginner in adventure sports to the seasoned endurance athlete. Join Rob on his nomadic adventures in triathlon, marathon swimming, and adventure sports, packed with hairpin bends, whirlpools, rock dodging, and white-water rapids. Body of episode: Questions for Rob Hutchings:  ‘Downriver Nomad–A Triathlete's Adventures and Adversities Into The Rapids'    I thoroughly enjoyed your book and how you were able to combine your infertility journey with your passion for triathlon. It was beautifully done.   Tell us a little about the Australian adoption process, and how it is the way it is due to the history of ‘The Stolen Generation.' (Pg 167)   So because of the Stolen Generation issue, Thailand is suggested. The process was harrowing! Then, not to give away too much of the book, you were advised to try adopting from Colombia (pg 169…). The whole process must have been more than stressful? Those unsolicited questions and suggestions. My goodness, a number of years ago I interviewed the founder of Waiting Wombs. She is out of Kenya. As I read some of the suggestions you all were given to try to have a baby, I thought back to that episode. It occurred to me that suggestions, unsolicited suggestions are global! How did you and your wife deal with this?  (Pg 147)   That trick question on the psych eval (pg 171). That was terrible! Every time I think about the grilling potential adoptive parents go through, I think about people who have kids naturally. They go through nothing. I'm not saying there shouldn't be some type of process or protection of the children, but I find the process a little extreme, outside of any cultural history of abuse, as we discussed in The Stolen generation issue earlier.  How did you make sense of the grilling, of not being believed?   I found it interesting how you discuss in the book, that couples wait in different ways, for word on adoption, and that indeed the stress can split some couples apart. Talk to us about the stress of waiting and any tips you can give couples for keeping their relationships from falling apart. I did some research on your wife's book Joyful Eating. (Pg 179) would it be OK to put a link to the information I found in the show notes? If you have info on how we can obtain the book, I can put that in the show notes as well.     You guys had me researching raw chocolate!   That final decision to stop the adoption process. (pg 181). I felt it deep in my heart.  Honestly, the entire book brought out so much emotion. That type of writing takes a lot of talent. Kudos to you! Before we close out, any final words you can give to anyone listening who is still trying: to adopt, to go through IVF, whatever journey they are on?    Thank you so much for your time today Rob.   Articles/links of interest:   https://oceanswims.com/lifestyle/rob-hutchings-the-downriver-nomad/?fbclid=IwAR2fJWWPOstXR_S9e1OJgcX87qvG4UsaaSG0KXki_ed_y7XyyctM48_VRIE   Clutha River Swim: Short version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVyqCkHTDrY Long version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeIW6ioSHZA   https://www.saltwire.com/nova-scotia/sports/corner-brook-native-rob-hutchings-completes-swim-of-new-zealands-longest-river-419202/   Easter 2022 Marathon Swim:   https://worldchildlessweek.net/thurs-16-2021/childlessness-the-roughest-waters?fbclid=IwAR3xYw3UhJEcAorZI-OaANnbde4SxiStWoV9HsIV2eFx5XOrY9C7nyTIZvU   See the book synopsis and other endorsements here:  http://adventuresoutsidethelanes.com/downriver-nomad/   Joyful Eating by Tansy Boggon  https://www.google.com/books/edition/Joyful_Eating_How_to_Break_Free_of_Diets/W89UEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover Special thank you to: Rob Hutchings for joining us this episode.   Quotes from Rob: 'The river was in control, not me.' What I like about river swimming and childlessness really made this apparent to me...the river is in charge...this is.   'Life is a series of chaotic events.' 'Life is inherently chaotic...' My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life.' Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV  

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 140 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!    What is today's show about?   Hiding in plain sight   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Read my social media post for the month of May.    Body of episode: This year I decided not to concentrate so much on Mother's Day, but instead to concentrate on how those of us who are childless not by choice show up in the world, especially around days like Mother's Day.    I would be remiss if I did not wish those listeners who are moms a Happy Mother's Day. And of course, a very Happy Mother's Day to our own moms, whether they are still with us or not.  As many of you know, my mom, my best friend, and favorite person ever; passed the week of Mother's Day, 2019.  Talk about making a grand exit.  I miss her so much I still cry myself to sleep some nights.  Her birthday is at the end of March, but I promise you as soon as February hits my whole outlook on life changes. It's like the sky just goes dim.  April, no biggie. And then comes May.  I miss trying to figure out what to buy her for Mother's Day. She loved scarves and brooches. And she loved a certain perfume that I won't bother to mention. She also loved all the music by The Gaithers, so I usually tried to get her their latest CDs. I loved shopping for her.  Happy Heavenly Mother's Day mommy. I love and miss you.   I would also like to say Happy Mother's Day Mexico as Mother's Day Mexico is on May 10th.   Well, if your mom is still here, and you are able to reach out, please try to do so. I know some relationships are frayed, I get it. I will leave that to you.  Either way, this time around, this episode is for those of us who are childless not by choice during the month of May.  Those of us who may be hiding in plain sight, or maybe deciding to do something different on Mother's Day. In fact, one of the ladies in our Facebook group for women only, the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group; asked what everyone does to get through Mother's Day. The responses were varied. I loved that she asked the question.  Some responses included spending time with their own mothers, celebrating mothers in their lives, etc. If you have been listening long enough you know I stopped attending church on Mother's Day. I had started going to my mom's church with her to celebrate her. But now that she's gone, I don't go at all. Although I will probably watch online.            You know, when I think about hiding in plain sight, I think about those puzzles we did as children, and that we now do as adults to keep our brains active. You know, kinda like the Where's Waldo puzzle searches. The item being searched for is right in front of us, but a lot of times we miss it.  As childless not by choice people though, are we being searched for, or are we typically ignored? And I don't mean that to sound like everyone is mean. But let's face it if you are the one person in a crowd: a party, a family gathering, etc., aren't you ignored while the parents are questioned about how big the kids are, how they are doing in school, are they behaving, etc.  And you had better fall in line and join the Q&A or you are viewed as uncaring.  Oh, and before someone gets offended, I love the kids in my life. I want to know how they are. I want to invest whatever I can (and that does not always mean money). But you do run the risk of being ignored if you have not made a contribution to carrying on the family line.   You've probably experienced it: someone asks ‘do you have kids?'  or ‘How many kids do you have?' When you respond that you do not have kids, the conversation goes silent, there is discomfort,  and then you each find someone else to talk to.  Has that ever happened to you?     What about the commentary about you being made to work late because you don't have kids and your co-workers do.  The commentaries are made without thought to our plans. If our plans do not include children, they are not real plans.  What to do? How to deal with this? I've said it before, but it can never be said too much: We have to make sure our co-workers and family members, the people in our lives realize and recognize our kind but firm boundaries.  And then we have to be willing to make other plans when the–family, friends, and co-workers, refuse to respect us as childless people.  Life is short. Do we really need to hear the unsolicited suggestions and commentary about our lives? Do we need the mental and emotional abuse especially if we have already discussed the behavior with people? No. The answer is no. I know that it's much easier to hide in plain sight. To lay low and just go with the flow, than rock the boat at work or in the family during the holidays. But I have to ask you, what would your life be like if you made decisions, good healthy decisions about the direction of your life? What would happen if you told your co-worker or boss that although you would generally stay behind, you do actually have plans? What would your life be like?   Before I leave you today, I want to read you something that really spoke to me. I saw this quote on Twitter near the end of April and wow. I mean I read and re-read it several times. I asked permission to share it and I am so glad she said yes.  Oh my gosh. I read that quote, re-read it, and then said ‘wow, that's me. That's where I am. That's where I want to be. That's where I want you to be. No rush, just head in that general direction. You will get there.   Thanks for listening! My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice Episode quotes:

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 139 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. It's me, Civilla Morgan. Well, this is a minisode.  I had other plans for this episode, but since I had no plans to skip April, I decided to just go ahead with what I had. So if you will give me just a few minutes of your time, I promise it will not be a waste of time.    What is today's show about: More Hope Please! And a few other things. Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   I was interviewed by Sheri Johnson on her podcast Awakening Worth. Episode 57. Link in the show notes. I was asked by the Not a Momma Life Podcast to hijack them for one episode! How cool, right. You got it, link in the show notes. Have you read the quarterly newsletter? It's the first newsletter of 2022. Do check it out. Subscribe for free on the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net.   I've been trying to decide if I should get transcripts done for this podcast. I was advised by one listener that transcripts would be nice as English is a second language and some things got lost in translation when listening. I never thought about that. The initial reason I considered transcripts was for those who are hearing impaired. I have had one episode transcribed so far: episode 137. I will place the transcripts for episodes where I create transcripts, at the bottom of the show notes for said episodes. I may create a section on the website for transcripts at a future date. But for now, they will be in the show notes for said episode.    I am also going to be quite transparent with you: transcriptions are an additional cost to the platform. If you would like to make a contribution to the platform either for general costs or if you want to contribute specifically for transcripts, let me know. You may Paypal me at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. And of course, if you would like to give monthly, visit https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice thank you!      Reviews for good–podchaser.com, leave a review for this podcast and .25 cents will be donated to World Central Kitchen. If you are not familiar with WCK, they go to wherever in the world there is conflict and feed people. They put themselves in harm's way to feed people. They are currently in Ukraine. Thank you!   Transition to talk about hope:    Did we talk about hope in a prior episode? Maybe. But I think we can all use more hope, right?  What's going on in the world–Have you thought of the fact that almost every country has some type of drama or conflict going on? I mean is it because we are more connected so that we know right away when something happens around the globe? Most likely.    Do you believe we can be stressed by other people's stress?  Is there such a thing? I think so. I mean I have been glued to the news and to Twitter following the conflict in Ukraine. It's heartbreaking to watch.    So I went on a search and found an article saying that stress can be caught, like catching a cold. I don't know, you decide. I put a link in the show notes.  But I am thinking of it differently. Like the stress of watching other people suffer, whether it is a terrible car accident on a local highway or street. Or on the other side of the world, watching a sovereign country gets invaded. Or hearing in the news about civil wars that have been going on for decades.  What about a friend or family member who is in some type of conflict and drama? That can stress you outright? You know where I am going with this: Limit it all. Yes, many of us want to know what is going on around the world and in our world, but too much of it can be quite stressful.    It is up to you to decide how much you can take in. It is up to you to decide to step away for some amount of time, decided by you, not by someone else. It's OK to step away.   At this point in a somewhat post-pandemic period as there continues to be worldwide drama, it is very important to find a happy medium.    No one wants to get caught flat-footed about an issue they should have been paying attention to. But at the same time, not taking a moment away from even the heartbreaking grief of others, can be unhealthy. Find your happy medium and create your kind but firm boundary around it.  Respect your health, your heart, and your mind. You will be healthier and stronger for it.        Thanks for tuning in, see you next month!  Links mentioned in the episode:  Sheri Johnson https://sherijohnson.ca/ https://sherijohnson.ca/57/ Not a Momma Life Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/in/podcast/takeover-episode-alert-all-about-a-childless-perspective/id1540665175?i=1000550533548 Articles/links of interest:   https://www.orlandohealth.com/content-hub/secondhand-stress-how-people-around-you-can-increase-your-anxiety#:~:text=It's%20true%E2%80%94stress%20from%20others,become%20more%20anxious%2C%20as%20well. Special thank you to: Not a Momma podcast Awakening Worth Podcast   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 138 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Pre- and peri-menopause    Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice (Pull up site while I'm talking and go over the levels)  Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: So, pre-and peri-menopause. I've been wanting to talk about this for quite some time. I hope this content helps you recognize signs you may have ignored or missed.  And how to deal. As I did the research for this episode, I realized this content might be quite triggering, so please know that upfront, and maybe wait to listen until you are in a good place. Maybe tomorrow you will feel better than today, for instance. Just FYI.  Remember to check the show notes for all of the links I used in the research for this episode.   Let's get started:  According to Let's Get Checked: ‘Hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes, and difficulty having a good night's sleep; the signs and symptoms of menopause in women are all too well known by most but aren't believed to be experienced by many until they hit their 50s; with 51 being the average age in the United States, according to Mayo Clinic [1]. To set the record straight, menopause doesn't happen overnight. In fact, your body can take a significant period of time before menopause to transition, this is known by experts as perimenopause or premature menopause by some. So if you're experiencing menopause symptoms at a ‘not so' menopausal age, this might be why; some women will notice certain shifts in their 40s and some might notice perimenopausal symptoms as early as their 30s.'   Perimenopause, which translates to ‘around menopause, includes symptoms such as:  Vaginal dryness Irregular menstrual cycles or heavy periods Hot flashes A shift in cholesterol levels Sleep problems Other emotional symptoms can include: Irritability Lack of motivation Fatigue Mood swings or changes I don't know about you but I never attributed fatigue to the possibility of peri-menopause. Probably because like many of you, my daily to-do list is as long as the day. We all have so much to do every day right?  Now the hot flashes, I can write a book! I take a supplement that seems to help. Because I am not a clinician, I will not mention any names. I will say that it is something I get from my local health food store.  I did a lot of research, taking many different types until I found one that actually worked. I went the natural way because I really did not want another prescription drug in my system.  Of course, if a prescription works best for you, do what is best for you. And definitely have a conversation with your ob-gyn or general practitioner.      Now I'm going to be honest with you: I really thought that pre-menopause and peri-menopause were on opposite ends of the spectrum. I can't even explain why I thought that, but here we are.  Anyway, according to Healthline:  ‘Premenopause and perimenopause are sometimes used interchangeably, but technically they have different meanings…' they go on to say that ‘premenopause is when you have no symptoms of perimenopause or menopause.' OK. Well, kinda makes sense since pre- means before right? But honestly, peri- means about the same thing, before, near, etc. Once again, that's why it's always a great idea to do research. Healthline also says ‘You still have periods — whether they're regular or irregular — and are considered to be in your reproductive years. Some hormonal changes may be occurring, but there are no noticeable changes in your body. On the other hand, during perimenopause, you'll start to experience symptoms of menopause.' Now, I don't know about that. I believe that if ‘some hormonal changes may be occurring', then symptoms must be evident. You may realize some time down the line in your pre-/peri-menopause journey, that you will look back and say ‘wait, I do recall that feeling or that episode. That's my humble opinion, for whatever it's worth. Well, as I continued my research, I came upon Web.MD's take on pre-and perimenopause. Always gotta see what is going on at WebMD. They say that:  ‘Perimenopause, or menopause transition, begins several years before menopause. It's the time when the ovaries gradually begin to make less estrogen. It usually starts in women's 40s but can start in their 30s or even earlier. Perimenopause lasts up until menopause, the point when the ovaries stop releasing eggs. In the last 1 to 2 years of perimenopause, this drop in estrogen speeds up. At this stage, many women have menopause symptoms. They also say that:   How Long Does Perimenopause Last? The average length of perimenopause is 4 years, but for some women, this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years.' Key: Perimenopause ends when women have gone 12 months without having their period.    Also in my research, I came across a site called ASRM–American Society for Reproductive Medicine. They have pretty similar information. One thing that stood out, and this may be a trigger for some of you: ‘ Pregnancy is rare but not impossible, so contraception is still needed to avoid pregnancy.'  Hmph. So there's that.  Finally, Franciscan Health. They really get straight to the point, I mean “Your ovaries are shutting down, but the process takes some time. That process is called perimenopause." Whew!  They do also say that ‘The first perimenopause sign is typically a disruption of your menstrual cycle. For many women, your period starts earlier or later than normal. For example, if your menstrual cycle has always been 28 days, during perimenopause, your period could come as early as 21 or as late as 35 days. Some women start skipping months entirely and then experience heavier-than-normal periods when they do have them.' So although many women have experienced this, if you have not yet, here's your FYI. If your period arrival times start to go awry this may be why. Mine showed up like clockwork (thanks mom for showing me how to count the days). Because I had fibroid issues, my experience with pre-peri-menopause was not long-lived.  I will tell you that my experience included what I call man-made menopause and natural menopause. When I was trying to buy time hoping to meet Mr. Right, I agreed to an intramuscular injection that was used to reduce the size of fibroids. The medication came in a monthly form and a quarterly form. I tried both. This medication had to be injected by the doctor, um, in the buttocks. Yeah. So actually I went through menopause twice.   But the side effects were horrendous! I was so upset, moody, short-tempered. Just terrible. I eventually advised my ob-gyn that I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like if I had continued on the medication I would have to be committed. Yes, it was that bad.  In fact, the hot flashes from this man-made menopause were in my opinion much worse than natural menopause.   Every time I stopped any type of treatment during that 10 year period, I felt so down and dejected. I just wanted to know what it was that I did wrong to be in this situation.  If you are asking the same questions just know that you did nothing wrong. Life is indiscriminate. That's it. Indiscriminate.  Don't beat yourself up. Do the best you can physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally; to care for yourself.   As I always say, find a doctor, an ob-gyn who is committed to your care. My Ob-gyn committed to going on my journey with me. He did not push me toward the hysterectomy, but when I was ready he was very positive and encouraging, advising me that he knew it was a difficult decision but that I was going to have an exponentially better quality of life. In the end, he was right. But it was definitely not what I wanted to hear at the time. It was a difficult time. But I made it! And so can you.  If you are or think you are dealing with pre-or perimenopause, please talk to your healthcare provider. And be sure to do your own research so that you can have an engaged and fruitful conversation with your doctor.  Notice I always say to get a second opinion and even change doctors if you feel your doctor is not listening? Well, pre-, peri-, and menopause, are the areas where they are not known for listening very much. I hate to brush with a broad stroke, but I have heard so many women say, myself included; that they were prescribed ahem, a medication to calm their nerves when complaining about sleeplessness, hot flashes, etc. Don't just accept that a ‘calming prescription' is the only way to fix these issues. So, yeah, do your homework, do your homework, do your homework. Get a second opinion, see what your hormone and estrogen levels are, see what your doctor suggests, see what is available OTC–over the counter. Know your body.       Research links: https://www.letsgetchecked.com/articles/what-is-perimenopause-signs-symptoms-and-causes/?imp=cpc&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgP6PBhDmARIsAPWMq6lxO1QBaioj4C5CTXG9WeSZUyl_TxDSS9Pf4qOwPFhsH_WaPBgjPZgaAoYNEALw_wcB   https://www.healthline.com/health/menopause/difference-perimenopause   https://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/guide-perimenopause   https://www.asrm.org/isitmenopause/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAgP6PBhDmARIsAPWMq6nWedffRwB4EEjK3UfxkPrbXeRmMNYqI8KQytewQeR3RQenoc1M07EaAvKeEALw_wcB   https://www.franciscanhealth.org/community/blog/first-signs-of-perimenopause Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-115-facing-childlessness-with-art-my-interview-with-dr-krista-cooper-2/ My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice  

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 137 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today's show about? What is your worth? Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Intro (for guest episodes): Sheri Johnson turned the pain of three miscarriages and six years of an infertility journey into a passion to inspire childless not by choice women to live full, unconventional lives of meaning.  She made the decision to use her coaching background to create a process for navigating the triggers. She teaches her process in 1x1 coaching and in her membership program.  Sheri says that women leave the program feeling empowered with practices they can use throughout their lifetime.     At the end of our discussion today Sheri will tell you how to obtain a free gift created just for you!     Hello Sheri, welcome to the show!   You say that many women do not realize they are grieving, tell us what you mean by that?   Now this in itself may be triggering, but you say ‘Triggers can be a part of grieving', how so? Tell us about some of the tools we can use to heal…                       Mindfulness              Journaling             Meditation             Nutrition             Essential oils             The Bible   When we spoke before recording, you said something that really intrigued me, that ‘women seem to just be waiting to get better…' Guess what you all? Sheri has a gift for you!  Sheri's information: Free gift from Sheri:  www.sherijohnson.ca/quiz Contact info: @Awakening.worth  Podcast: Awakening Worth   Quotes from Sheri: ‘...I'm open to the healing that's meant for me.'  ‘I'm responsible for building my self-worth.' ‘It's not the person bringing the baby into the office that causes the pain, that person is triggering the pain.' ‘It's like pressing on a wound that's already there. They didn't cause the wound, they are reminding you the wound is there.' ‘...we can try to educate the world about childlessness. There's a tendency to want to educate, but it's like playing a game of whack a mole…it doesn't matter how much we educate…the healing comes when we focus on healing our pain.'  Articles/links of interest: https://www.rt.com/news/545233-pope-childless-pet-owners-selfishness/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/12/more-people-is-the-last-thing-this-planet-needs-the-men-getting-vasectomies-to-save-the-world My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 136 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today's show about? Happy New Year Goals and Visions document Join FB groups–make them primary Survey    Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Articles/links of interest: https://www.independent.ie/life/i-learned-that-shame-is-what-keeps-the-taboo-alive-today-tackling-the-stigma-of-childlessness-41240183.html https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 135 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today's show about? The Empty Cradle But before I continue, let me say thank you to...   ...my Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice    Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Intro: Sarah Roberts I've known about our guest for quite some time. You know how you travel in the same circle as someone, but you've never been introduced, you've never met, but you know the person exists?  Then one day I came across her platform's intro video on YouTube, and I asked myself why I had never interviewed her. I watched her video three times before I decided to ask if she would be a guest.  There is a link to the video in the show notes. Check it out. It really captured me. And I am so happy she said yes.     Sarah Roberts, welcome to the show!  ***Acknowledgement of the traditional owners of the country.   Questions/Conversation starters: I am intrigued. Your background is in counseling, social work in child protection, youth work, drugs and alcohol, teaching, HIV/AIDS prevention, teaching, community education and community arts. How and why did you make the switch from that to speaking to grief therapy, to speaking to the involuntarily childless?    ‘We really need to be doing this work ourselves.' Therapy for childlessness. People need to start from a place of respect.     Explain the ‘social context of childlessness'.   How does your faith and spirituality, your Christian perspective, come into play in our childlessness arena? How do you use it in your counseling?      So, diversity: why is it important to you? What does cultural appropriateness have to do with childlessness?       There is the ongoing counselling work I do with women towards the end of their fertility journey and coming to terms with permanent involuntary childlessness.  I also offer individual and group programs, courses and community.       Sarah's quote: ‘We really need to do this work ourselves.'--Sarah Roberts 'Is there something wrong with me?'--Sarah Roberts   Links of interest: https://www.theemptycradle.com/home.html https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-126-she-i-dare-not-name-a-spinsters-meditation-on-life-my-conversation-with-author-donna-ward/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-125-are-we-being-good-ancestors/   More information on the Australian Aboriginal Community https://aiatsis.gov.au/   The story of Hannah https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1samuel+1&version=NIV Sarah's Contact information: http://www.theemptycradle.com/ https://linktr.ee/theemptycradle Email - support@theemptycradle.com Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/involuntarychildlessness/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/theemptycradle/   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 134 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today's show about? Today's show is about a dame. But first, thank you to… ...my Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   BTW, if you are a Patron, there is a fresh new video on the Patreon site. Be sure to check it out!  So, welcome to December Ya'll! It's a tough month for us as childless people, but never you fear, have I got a story for you?! But first I want to thank you so much for your support this year. Thanks for listening to episodes, and thanks for reaching out to let me know how the episodes, the podcast, is helping you.  I hear from a lot of you on Instagram, how cool right? Remember, you can find and follow me @joyandrelevance on Instagram. I'm also on Pinterest, Civilla Morgan.  Sooo, January is already recorded! I can't wait for you to hear my conversation with Sarah Roberts. It is just the perfect way to start a new year! Be sure to tune in. Hey, tune in all year. And don't be a stranger. Your feedback really is a real source of encouragement.   I'm a history buff. I mean I love anything history. World history, the history of humanity, medieval history, art history. I mean I love history! In fact, one of my favorite podcasts is all about women throughout history.  So imagine my shock and surprise when I heard about this amazing woman!  You see, the woman I'm talking about today was childless and husbandless, like many of us. And that's what caught my eye. She had been mentioned on social media on the anniversary of her death. I believe it was a Google Doodle. I like to read the story behind Google Doodles because well, I love history and historical facts. But when they said she never married or had children, well, me too!  The timing of it all was quite interesting too. I had been reading lots of posts on IG, about the treatment by society of those of us who never married and never had children, in earnest, the last couple of months. I mean it's a thing, I'm living it, and have been for many years. But I had not heard much talk about it until the last few months as of this recording.  The pain in the posts was palpable.  Well, after a little digging, I found one book on Amazon which I promptly ordered. I had to wait a little bit for the book, which made me a little nervous, but it finally came. It is an interesting read. Information on the book in the show notes, as well as some additional informational links on this lady!  So here's the thing:  Childless, husbandless, and a dame. Mary Eugenia Charles' father started his life as a mason and then a farmer. He was snubbed by the elite, but that did not get in the way of his goals. He quietly went about the business of amassing wealth while the community looked down on him until he surpassed them in wealth. Her farmer father turned banker for the everyday person. His plan was to send his four children to the best schools. Two of them became doctors, one became a nun, against her parent's wishes. And Eugenia went to law school. Then she got into politics.  Oh, but imagine a woman getting into politics in the 1960s. You think it's a man's world now. She had to create a tough exterior to deal with men who definitely did not want her in their presence. They felt she was a deviant because she never married and never had children. They felt she belonged in a lower class because her father had to work his way up the class ladder.  She has been listed in Guida-Myrl Jackson-Laufer's list of ‘Women Rulers Throughout the Ages', listed among women such as Cleopatra, Mary Queen of Scots, and Isabella Queen of Spain; just to name a few.   But hey, she gave as good as she got, although it had to be tough to hear that she was sterile, wore cheap underwear, really? Ignored when she fainted in the midst of these sharks. But she survived.  She was indeed so successful at turning her country around, she ruled for 15 years, even surviving two attempted coups. Some of you may remember the invasion of Grenada back in the 1980s? She was an integral part of that. She brought battling factions in her country Dominica, not to be confused with The Dominican Republic. Two very different places.  together, and put strong people in her cabinet; which tells me she had a healthy level of self-confidence. Something I personally like in people I surround myself with. Just an aside.  Intriguing right?  I mean aside from the obvious that she was childless and husbandless? It is said that she never married because she never met anyone she wanted to marry.  These aren't the days of arranged marriage right? So she just never met anyone and sometimes that's just the way it is. Yet she made things happen despite the treatment she received, and despite not adhering to society's ‘norms'. I mean some people marry so that they are not lonely. Some people opt not to marry if they can't marry for love. Oh, this diehard romantic was shocked when I found out in my younger years that people married for all types of reasons and that love was just one of the reasons! The shock!  I also came to the realization that for me, I had no intention of marrying for anything less than love because when the going gets tough I have to know I love this person.  But that's me. So, how are you making stuff happen despite being childless or childless and husbandless? How do you deal with the people who watch you faint and ignore you? Or the people who accuse you of wearing cheap underwear? What about the people who spread assumptions about you? How will you deal? How do you deal?  Let me remind you... Those of us who are husbandless and childless are a family unit unto ourselves. I've said it before, a family is not only parents and kids, or husband and wife no kids. It can be you, just you. Human, worthy, single, childless, beautiful you.  Remember that this holiday season. You deserve a place at the adult table just as much as the couple or the parents. Your sleeping arrangements should not be an afterthought.   Now look, I realize you don't want to create drama at the family gatherings, and I don't want you to either. But I bet that's why some families believe they can treat the single childless family member as an afterthought. They don't believe you will make a scene. And you don't have to. If there is a problem, kindly pull the host aside and have a civil conversation. If you feel the conversation is going nowhere, feel free to adult and make alternate plans some years.  Look, we all want to see our family members, we all want to belong. But we have to decide if we want to belong so much we are willing to accept bad treatment gathering after gathering after gathering. Making alternate plans sometimes shows that you love and respect yourself. Please, love and respect yourself. Until you do, no one else will.  We are living in unbelievably difficult times. I mean family gatherings were difficult pre-pandemic. Now, everything has changed. Life as we knew it is no longer, no matter how much we want it to be all back to normal.  Normal is going to be different. And I believe the reason some of us are having a difficult time acclimating is that we are not moving ahead, but looking backward.  There was good back there, but there was also bad back there. There was dysfunction, there was petty behavior at family gatherings. And yes, there are good memories from back there.  But ahead, are good memories and good times. Especially when you create those moments and exercise those kind but firm boundaries. Trust your decisions. Trust your heart. Trust yourself. And have a lovely Holiday Season. Details of her life:  Mary Eugenia Charles, DBE was a Dominican politician who was Prime Minister of Dominica from 21 July 1980 until 14 June 1995. The first woman lawyer in Dominica, she was Dominica's first, and to date only, female prime minister. Wikipedia Born: May 15, 1919, Pointe Michel, Dominica Died: September 6, 2005, Fort-de-France, Martinique Nationality: Dominican Previous office: Prime Minister of Dominica (1980–1995) Education: University of Toronto, London School of Economics and Political Science Organization founded: Dominica Freedom Party   Gabrielchn@aol.com www.marylandattorneyatlaw.com; 301-218-9400 Articles/links of interest:   https://www.thegrenadarevolutiononline.com/damecharles.html   https://www.britannica.com/biography/Eugenia-Charles   Add hashtags: #youdonthaveto   Add alt tags: they help sight impaired people know what the episode is about    Survey link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfpPOQQq0a8gUuhnkuYZdi-RM7JKzbQWs3pw151I0LYSjQSNw/viewform?usp=sf_link My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice     Research links: Articles/links of interest: https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-85-adenomyosis-in-april   https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-120-lets-talk-about-it Special thank you to: Everyone who reached out the last few months, including 2020.  I received several pieces of feedback on Instagram Messenger from people who advised the podcast has helped them quite a bit. I have put links to the episodes mentioned in the feedback here in the show notes. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to hear from you when an episode or the podcast on a whole, has helped you on your childless not by choice journey. Podcasters do not ask for feedback because we are narcissistic. Feedback is an engine for us. I like to give you all little tidbits of insight into the world of podcasting from time to time. And in the world of podcasting, feedback is part of the engine that keeps us going. When I first started podcasting and I was not getting tons of downloads, I would sometimes ask myself why exactly I was doing this. No one is listening, I would tell myself. I am not hearing from anyone. And just then, so many times, just then, I would get an email, a message in Facebook Messenger, or an Instagram post from a listener thanking me for what I do. It never failed. Those messages helped. So when you send a message, know that I read it. In fact, I have responded to every piece of feedback I've received. Thank you!   My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 133 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? In this week's episode, we will discuss... No new episodes for October and November, back in December.      2)   1x1 conversations with me.       3)   If you have not already done so...               But first... Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank my patrons, my Patreon patrons, for their monthly support.  (Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!)      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!  If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode:   No new episodes for October and November, back in December.   I believe this is my third year taking October and November off. As many of you know, my mom passed in May 2019, but by August or September, I was drowning in grief. If I remember correctly it was about that time I decided to take a look at the possibility of taking some time off from podcasting. That two-month break helped so much I decided to continue doing it.   But I am going to be forthcoming with you from a podcaster's point of view: when I first decided to take this break, I thought about the fact that taking two months off annually would keep me from achieving a higher number of podcast episodes. You know, six years in, and having started out with two episodes per month, I should be closer to 200 episodes at this point.  But as quickly as the thought entered my mind, I deleted it! The thought had to go. I could not afford to allow ego and comparing myself to other podcasts and podcasters to affect my decision to think about my mental health. I believe when we pay attention to where we are mentally and emotionally, and adjust accordingly, we show up in a healthy way to the world, to our world; and to the tasks, we signed up for as well as the tasks we have been assigned. I know I talked last episode about mental health, but unless I got this absolutely wrong, incorrect; I believe all seven billion plus of us continue to be in a stressful and tiring place. Maybe not all the time or all at once, but this world is in a difficult place right now.  I don't know about you, but globally it feels like things are happening one thing right after the other. We will have to make the individual decision as to what we take on and what we keep at bay. And the list can be fluid, every day is not the same. But we have to put some thought into our daily decisions. That is how I believe we protect our mental health without feeling guilty.      Examples include:  cutting down on how much news we ingest. Being in the know by watching the news is not bad, it's how much we take in that can be bad. I am guilty of too much news. I will admit it right now. Some people consume news all day and it does not seem to bother them. But they want to talk to you about it and maybe you just don't want to hear it.  Now when the news started to bother me on another level, and that started right around...now. Go figure. I decided to do more reading and less news consumption. We have to pay attention to when things take a turn inside our heads and our hearts. We have to be that in tune. For some, it may take work, but for others, and I believe those of us who are introverts, we know almost before it happens when our heart and our mind are turning a corner. And we say ‘OK, that's it, no more...news, negative conversation, negative thoughts…' etc. And you do this without feeling guilty or necessarily making those around you feel bad. It can be done. Which kinda leads to...    balancing helping others and maintaining our peace and downtime.  You've heard the term: ‘you can't pour from an empty cup.' Some of us are caring for others, some do so in a professional capacity. Either way, try to find some time to take a break. Even if it is an hour at your local coffee shop or sitting out on your patio taking a nap. We all need a minute. Don't be afraid to take the minute. Oh, and the beach. Don't forget the beach. As much as I talk about it, I only got to go once this summer. The second time I decided to go, it started pouring rain. Any whoo...take a moment for you. Next...       Try not to internalize things. I believe many times we internalize things we believe are our fault, but even if the issue is our fault, internalizing is not healthy. Find a way to manage issues without taking everything to heart. It will help maintain your heart health. If you can make things right with the person you may be at odds with, try. If they don't want to, at least you know you tried. And remind yourself, no one is perfect. Not even you.    I have looked back on situations and wished I had not said something or wished I had apologized right away, but if that's not how the situation worked out, know that you did the best you could with the situation, and try to handle things better the next time. This is for those of you, like me, who like to beat yourselves up. Trust me. I know. But what I also know is that there is not one single perfect human on this planet.  Some pretend they are. They may even come after you like they are perfect, forgetting that just yesterday they made a mess. Do the best you can, always. Keep your heart in the right place, and remember: There is no perfect human. And...   Don't be afraid to ask for help. To get help. Which segues nicely into the next topic.               If you would like to have a 1x1 conversation with me about issues you may be having around your childlessness, go to the Shop page.    Click the link for 1x1 sessions, and follow the directions.   Please note there is a non-refundable fee for this service. I believe that talking things out helps quite a bit and I look forward to speaking with you. But please note: I am not a licensed therapist.  I am a person who has run the gamut of feelings from deep sadness, dare I say depression, as I watched my life not turn out the way I expected it to turn out. To arrive at a place I did not expect to be, never even knowing such a place existed. Then coming to terms with my childlessness, and the way my life turned out. I believe talking about that journey helps quite a bit.     So, just a few more things...If you have not already done so: Please take the survey. There is a link here in the show notes, as well as in the Facebook group.   Please also leave a rating and or a review for the show. You can do so at Apple Podcast or within any app on which you listen.  If you have episode ideas, please email them to me at civilla@civillamorgan.com, or Messenger me. Feel free to do so even during my hiatus. I will be back in December with a fresh new episode. If you are in the U.S. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I really do not know what Thanksgiving will look like this year as we continue to battle this crazy virus. But wherever in the world you are, please stay safe. And remember what I always say about family gatherings, whether they are in person or on Zoom, you can leave when you are good and ready.  You do not need to accept disrespect. Remember, people treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Kind but firm boundaries. Practice them, and take care of yourself!  See you in December!     Items of interest: https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-86-longing-for-motherhood-holding-onto-hope-in-the-midst-of-childlessness-my-interview-with-chelsea-patterson-sobolik   https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-85-adenomyosis-in-april Survey link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfpPOQQq0a8gUuhnkuYZdi-RM7JKzbQWs3pw151I0LYSjQSNw/viewform?usp=sf_link My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 132 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today's show about? Mental health, mental rest, self-care.    Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Hello once again! Thank you so much for tuning in! Well, I am going to call this our Mental health, mental rest, self-care episode.    Mental health, mental rest, self-care.  At the beginning of August, I made the decision to step away from social media for the entire month. All through the month of July, I considered it as I realized I would basically have the month to myself. Dad is hanging out with his favorite child, kidding: my brother and his family are caring for dad this month. As a caregiver, and I would do it all over again, you are always on a high level of alert, as you are caring for another human being 24/7.     So I decided that while dad was with my brother and his family, I would take myself off social media, get some mental rest, go to the beach and enjoy my birthday month. And I have been doing just that!  I did consider that it might be an odd month for me to step away as it is a busy birthday month for my family. Most of my immediate family members have August birthdays! But I am sticking with my decision. I mean if it were an easy decision would it be worth it? Maybe, maybe not.  It's been really weird to see so many social media notifications. On day three I was close to 200 already! I wonder how many there will be on August 31st?!   Well, not having to be on alert for 31 days and taking a break from social media, that combination does not happen very often. So I will be taking every advantage. I did put an out-of-office graphic on my Facebook and Instagram pages, I hope everyone realizes what is happening and that I am not ignoring them. Either way, my brain, and my body needed this. All of it! Look, Mental Health Awareness month is in May here in the US, but the fact is, we should be thinking about our mental health every month. Mental and emotional health is always important as we are able to make better decisions when our brains are rested and healthy.   So what about you? Would you give it a try? Everyone's mental health break is not the same. It does not have to be an entire month. It can be a week, it can even be a day, depending on what your life is like. The key is to recognize that you need a break, no matter what your life, your schedule, is like. The fact is, no matter how strong we think we are. We all need a break.  We are living in different, and honestly, strange times. 2020 beat us all up, mentally and emotionally. And 2021 seems to be only slightly better. People are still dying from COVID, there are still employment issues as well as the ending of a moratorium on evicting renters from their dwellings here in The US.  Life has always been hard. You have heard me say in the past: life is not for the faint of heart. We must try to take a break when we can. And I am thankful that I get this time.  So, I'm heading to the beach. I am going to get caught up on my reading. I am going to get some extra sleep. I am also going to enjoy the birthday gifts. The flowers. I have two vases of flowers that I hope will live the entire month of August. Take a look at the pictures I am posting here in the show notes. I will also post them on my Pinterest page once I am back on social media on the first of September.          I really hope you will take some time for yourself. Any time, some type of time. Recognize how you are feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally, and take heed. If you do, you will be a step ahead of the game of life.    Before I let you go, I want to talk to you about something that I believe is very important and in my opinion tied into mental health: Mindfulness.  I put some links here in the show notes to sites that discuss mindfulness, and mental health awareness. I also posted a link to a site on minority mental health. Be sure to check that out.    So, what is mindfulness? Definition: ‘Being mindful means being aware of your thoughts, emotions, and how you're feeling both physically and mentally. ... It means being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.'--Apr 20, 2018.  Now for those of you who may be Believers, that definition may sound a little bit familiar. Check this out:  ‘Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.'--Philippians 4:8. Sounds similar to the definition of mindfulness right? The bottom line is this, whether you are a Believer or not, it's important to recognize that if you are struggling with negative thoughts, especially in the midst of the craziness of the last year and a half, it can be difficult to believe that things will get better, at least anytime soon. But even in the midst of all of this craziness, if you can set your mind to think on positive things, on good things, I believe it will help you make it through these difficult times.    Think about positive things:  It can be something nice a friend, family member, or even stranger did for you.  Think about how you feel when it is your day off from work. Think about how it feels to be able to sit in your favorite coffee shop again.  Think of how you feel when you are in a good mood, and then remind yourself that you are responsible for your mood even if others are trying to get on your very last nerve.  Renew your mind with good thoughts.    Check out some more suggestions below:    Some examples include:   Pay attention. It's hard to slow down and notice things in a busy world. ... Live in the moment. Try to intentionally bring an open, accepting, and discerning attention to everything you do. ... Accept yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.--Google. Focus on your breathing.     Sounds simple, but it's usually the simple things that work best. So, that's all from me this month. I am going to go do all of the above, and I hope you will too. And don't forget to check out the links in the show notes!    P.S. There are some wonderful admins and moderators managing the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group if you are in the group and have questions.  Although I am not on social media this month, you may email me, my contact information is in the show notes. You may also Messenger me, but I will not be able to respond until September.  So, see you in September! Articles of interest: https://www.minorityhealth.hhs.gov/minority-mental-health/   https://www.mindfulschools.org/   https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

6th Anniversary episode  Hello, and welcome to episode 131 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   Welcome to my six-year podcastiversary ya'll!!! I am so excited! But first... Today's episode is brought to you by Omio. Omio is a travel-booking platform that makes planning a journey in Europe and North America effortless. Just enter your travel details and Omio will magically give you all the train, bus, flight, and ferry options for your journey—it's never been simpler to book your first real vacation for 2021! Best of all: Using Omio saves you time and money! That's a win-win situation right? Omio wants to help you leave your house this summer by offering five percent off your next booking. Just head to Omio.com and use the code OMIO5 at checkout. Valid until July 31st for new users on all modes of transport, it's just the pick-me-up we need in 2021! Omio: Plan, book and love the journey. Terms & Conditions apply. https://omio.sjv.io/c/2544961/1078765/7385  END DATE: July 31st   Well! Six years! Whew! I've lost episodes, I've had to have Zoom techs help me find an episode in the middle of the night during my time, while the rep was on the other side of the planet during the middle of his day.  I've had to ask an interviewee for a re-do. The most humbling thing a podcaster has to do.  I have literally cried tears over an episode that got messed up.  More than once!  I've felt like putting away my podcasting gear and finding something else to occupy my time. And not neatly putting it away, throwing it across the room!  Having started this podcast, this platform, from scratch; I recall when the number of downloads I now get in a day, was my total number for a whole month! That is what you call from scratch! And as time progressed I received emails, Facebook Messenger messages, voicemails, feedback, (I love feedback you all, hint hint) left on my childlessnotbychoice.net website. You know you can do that right? Just click the link that says ‘send a voice message, and you get 90 seconds to leave me a message. Some have had so much to say they've left several voicemails in a row! I love it! And speaking of hearing from people, I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution every month.  My Patreon Contributors.  Be sure to visit the Patreon site regularly as I will be placing more content in there just for you!   More on that a little later.    If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit http://www.patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your mailing address. It is secure in the Patreon platform.   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. So, as I was saying, I love to hear from you. In fact, while I was working on the content for this episode I received an email from a new listener. She told me a story that brought some memories rushing back into my brain!  I thought I had forgotten those stories but whew! As childless not by choice women, many times we try to find ways to nurture. I mean we were born to nurture weren't we?  As I read her email I recalled how...  Once, I was asked to mentor two sisters. They were pre-teens and the story was that their mother was MIA. I believe we had the mentorship arrangements for a few months until their mother came back on the scene. The end. That's pretty much how it ended.  I felt heartsick, and honestly, I felt used.  On another occasion, I was asked by a young woman's mentor to watch her baby while the two of them went to a local event. It was just a couple of hours, but when I took the baby back as soon as I was called, the mother seemed beside herself.      The same woman who asked me to watch the baby, came by the house a few weeks later, with a little boy, about 5 or six years old. He was so energetic he almost tore up the house.  A couple of days later she called with urgency and asked me to babysit the little boy. Saying she had to go out of town and had no one else to watch him. I got hip to her and told her no. No ma'am.  I was pretty hard on myself. Why did it take me three events to see what was happening?  To see that what comes naturally to most women was being used against me? You know what I am going to say next, right? Boundaries. It's issues like these that make it important for us to create and maintain proper boundaries.   I found a quote on Facebook: ‘A lack of boundaries often invites a lack of respect.'--TobyMac, one of my favorite musicians.   There is nothing wrong with wanting to nurture. There is nothing wrong with the way we were created. There is nothing wrong with us. The key is to recognize these things about ourselves, and then manage them accordingly. If we don't, others will.  You've probably heard that people recognize things in us we do not recognize in ourselves. We all have blind spots. Here's the thing: There is no shame in who we are. We just have to find the right way to be who we are. The right way to be who we are with dignity. We all deserve to have the ability to maintain our dignity. You know, it was an honor to hear from this new listener as she detailed what was going on in her life.  A couple of days later I received an email from someone who had just heard the podcast for the first time that day! Wow! Can I tell you that sometimes I suffer from total imposter syndrome!? Still! But who am I kidding? Thank you for reaching out and telling me how much the podcast helps you.  It means a lot.  You know, I am constantly speaking to an audience that is composed of people who are just finding out they will not be having children. That audience is not quite childless not by choice yet because you may be considering adoption, or thinking of starting IVF. But you did a search and found this podcast.  Then there's the group that has been on this journey for a few short years. You may just be coming into the acceptance phase.  You still have your moments, but you can generally make it through your day, week, month, without falling apart...too badly, at the sight of a pregnant woman or a co-worker bringing her new baby to the office, Barely. Then there's the group, like me, like some of you, who have been childless not by choice for many years. You still feel the little tug, but you can move on with your day without thinking of the incident that caused the tug most times. You seldom get triggered, but it can happen. You are definitely a leader in the childless not by choice space, and can definitely encourage other women in the community to realize that they will make it to a good place.   That's what a journey is all about right? We're all on a journey, and we find ourselves in different places in, and on that journey. No part of the journey is more or less important than the other. The key is to continue on. To push through. To become what we were put on this earth to do. Keep going OK? Don't give up.   Omio So, thanks again to Omio for sponsoring this episode.  Omio is a travel-booking platform that makes planning a journey in Europe and North America effortless. Just enter your travel details and Omio will magically give you all the train, bus, flight, and ferry options for your journey—it's never been simpler to book your first real vacation for 2021! Best of all? Using Omio saves you time and money! That's a win-win in our books! Omio wants to help you leave your house this summer by offering five percent off your next booking. Just head to Omio.com and use the code OMIO5 at checkout. Valid until July 31st for new users on all modes of transport, it's just the pick-me-up 2021 needs! Omio: Plan, book and love the journey. Terms & Conditions apply. https://omio.sjv.io/c/2544961/1078765/7385  END DATE: July 31st So, changes are coming:  First, Patreon: 1) Patreon--If you are a Patron, I have some surprises in store for you! Reminder, patrons are those who help the show financially, on a monthly basis. They signed up to do that by going to https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice and following the instructions to become a patron. There is actually a button on the upper right corner of the Patreon website that says Become a Subscriber. Follow the steps to subscribe at the dollar amount that you would like deducted monthly. Remember, I have a gift for you regardless of your giving level.  There are four tiers: $5.00/$10.00/$25.00/$50.00 per month.  According to a 2019 article from LifeHacker.com, 99% of podcasts make zero dollars. See the link to the article in the show notes.  I don't call something nothing, but I guess we all know what they mean. 1% of podcasters are making a living off of their podcast income, including being able to pay their podcast fees.  I want to be very clear: I did not start this podcast to make money. People who create podcasts because they think there is money in it, just like the article says, they don't last. They pod fade, as it is called in the podcasting industry. For 99% of podcasters, podcasting is a hobby or a passion project, they are doing it because they love it. And if they, we, have patrons who believe in what we're doing, well, that's just awesome!    But I believe I should also advise you that I am actively searching for paid sponsors. Another question that I ask about in the survey.  Again, more on the survey in just a moment.  And that's it about Patreon and money for this episode. I hope I haven't lost you. If I haven't, thanks for listening to this point.  2) Next, The Community.  Many of you know by now that after months of thinking about this, I have decided to close out the Community site that was situated on the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net. In fact, by the time you hear this episode the site should already be closed and removed from the website. I emailed everyone who was a member of the community site, and I posted a message in our Facebook groups.   I want to make it clear that I LOVE Community. I believe Community keeps us mentally and emotionally in tune with each other and with our journey. Community allows us to manage our loss in a healthy way.  Until I decide what's next Community-wise, I really do suggest that you join the Facebook group if you haven't already, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan. Remember, that is a group for women only.  There is also the Supporters of the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group. That group is for everyone. I also strongly suggest that you subscribe to the newsletter if you haven't already.  I'm not one to overload your email with stuff. Those of you who are subscribed can attest to that. But being subscribed will definitely keep you in the loop. Please subscribe or join a Facebook group to stay in the loop. And remember, feel free to email me just like the two listeners above did, at civilla@civillamorgan.com.        Stick with me for a few more minutes. I want to share just a couple more things with you. In June I was happy to be a panelist on the Gateway Woman June webinar--' Celebrating the Spinster'. I know, most of us who are single and never married would shudder at the thought of being called or calling ourselves spinster. But after that conversation, I totally understand why the author Donna Ward whom I interviewed, see episode 126, link in the show notes, used that word. You've got to listen to this conversation. It was an eye-opener for me when I got the light bulb moment. Be sure to listen.   Also in the show notes is the link to the study Donna Ward mentioned in the conversation. I hope you will take the time to read it. We need to have a plan as we age, especially if we are single and childless. I'm not trying to scare you or stress you out, I just want you to think ahead.  Well, I am happy to share the following with you: the founder of WCW--World Childless Week, Stephanie Joy Phillips, asked me to share the following with you:   "Did you know that World Childless Week will be running for the fifth time this year from the 13th – 19th September? Each day has a different topic: our stories, childlessness and sexual intimacy, leaving a legacy, men matter too, have you considered adoption, we are worthy and moving forwards. You have the freedom to express yourself in any medium you prefer, from dancing to writing and everything in between. The founder, Stephanie Joy Phillips, welcomes your submissions from now until the 29th August. You don't have to be a professional and you have the choice to remain anonymous.   Stephanie says the most important thing to remember is the week is for us and about us, a way to share both our darkest secrets and happiest moments. The Childless Not By Choice community deserves to be seen and to be heard.    You can find full details of how to make a submission and learn about all of the other events running during the week by taking a look at www.worldchildlessweek.net".      3) Soooo, the survey. There is a survey link in the show notes that I would really like you to take the time to take. Your responses to the survey questions will be read by myself, only. I am serious about making this podcast better and better. You don't get to six years without making changes from time to time. And I am willing to do that, with your help.    Your responses will help me as I continue to make changes and updates on this podcast, this platform. Are you in this with me? If so, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please complete the survey. The link is in the show notes.  Survey link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfpPOQQq0a8gUuhnkuYZdi-RM7JKzbQWs3pw151I0LYSjQSNw/viewform?usp=sf_link Lots of changes right? I can't believe I'm saying this, but change is good, no matter what you've heard about it. Especially when it makes things better and it's not just for the sake of change.    Sooooo, last but definitely not least, I would like even more eyes and ears on this podcast and this platform. I would like you to rate and review this podcast. It's very easy to do. You can go to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, click on the Podcast tab, and under each and every episode you are given options such as share, leave a review, etc. Click leave a review, and follow the steps.  Even easier, if you listen on Apple Podcast, tap on the Library tab, tap on the Childless not by Choice podcast, and scroll down to where you will see Ratings and  Review. As I look it looks like there are more people rating it than reviewing it, but do what you are comfortable with either or both.    If you listen on the Stitcher podcast player app, you can click the heart for a particular episode. On Overcast, you can click the star.    Well, I think I am finished! I am so excited to still be podcasting and to still love podcasting, even during the crazy times. I am really excited to not only be a part of this awesome community called podcasting. But I am excited and honored that you are listening and that these episodes are making a positive difference in your life.    See you in August!  Bye!     Articles of interest: https://lifehacker.com/youll-never-make-money-podcasting-1838640571 https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-126-she-i-dare-not-name-a-spinsters-meditation-on-life-my-conversation-with-author-donna-ward/ https://vimeo.com/559979682 https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=065cec3ede&attid=0.1.3&permmsgid=msg-f:1701853975113270514&th=179e332c6e3684f2&view=att&disp=inline

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 130 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in.   Body of episode: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! So, welcome to episode 130! This is the Father's Day USA edition, but would you believe that none of the gentlemen whose voices you will hear in just a moment are American? I mean, not American, not in The USA. How did that happen? I don't know, but you know what this just underscores the point that childlessness is worldwide. It happens in communities, villages, and hamlets around the world.  Childlessness affects people of all financial statuses, races, colors, you get the point.     I am so honored to have these guests for our Father's Day episode.  I reached out to these gentlemen and asked them to talk to us about how they manage Father's Day and they agreed! You know, I really wanted their voices to be heard by the childless not by choice men who listen to this podcast, and of course the wives and other family members of childless not by choice men.   You see, for the first few years of this podcast, I did not consider the fact that men could be childless not by choice? I mean seriously? I guess when we are deep in our own sorrows we can sometimes forget that others hurt too. So glad I finally figured it out!  The other thing I figured out was that although I know what it is like to be a childless not by choice woman, I know how it feels, I know the heart hurt  I can sometimes feel, Even though I know all of that, I do not know how a childless not by choice man feels. So here we are. I will let them tell you. And if you would like to, be sure to follow them on their platforms. I will put their information in the show notes.     Well, what did you think? Pretty awesome huh? If you are a childless not by choice woman who has a childless not by choice man in your life, please ask them to tune into this episode. Hey, they may listen to other episodes of this podcast which might help create a conversation.  You know, I wonder how many men listen to this podcast? If you are a man who listens and wouldn't mind saying so, drop me a message by going to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, and click on the link below that old-time telephone. You can also email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com. Don't worry, I won't use your full name. I never use full names. I can also use anonymous if that is what you prefer. You never know, you may be an encouragement to another man.    So, before I let you go, I want to ask if you have not already, to be sure to fill out the survey. Link in the show notes. I am getting some really awesome feedback and it is greatly appreciated. I am reading every single response because your responses are going to help me with some decisions I am working on as I am now in year six of podcasting. Next month is my actual six-year anniversary, so more details next month.  Well, thanks again to my patrons, and thanks again to these wonderful gentlemen that you just heard from.       https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Thank you to our special guests: Andy Harrod--UK--Clan of Brothers Facebook group, Invisible Childlessness on Twitter and Instagram.   Robin Hadley--UK--www.robinhadley.co.uk   Michael Hughes--Australia--The Fullstop Podcast, Blog: marriedandchildless.com, Clan of Brothers Facebook group.   Sikhumbuzo Dube--Zimbabwe--Shunem Care, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as Shunem Care. Blog: www.shunemcare.home.blog. My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice   Survey: Tell me your thoughts by clicking the link below:  https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV  

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 129 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in.   I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month.  My Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure in the Patreon platform.   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Well, I have a really cool surprise for you! I reached out to several women from around the world and asked them to talk to us about how they manage Mother’s Day. Each woman had three minutes to tell us about them, what they do on Mother’s Day, and how you can follow them on their platforms.  Yes, that’s right. I know you enjoy hearing my voice. Many have told me so. It’s humbling to hear how this podcast helps you manage your childless not by choice life episode after episode. And you know what, I hope I can continue to add value to your journey. In other words, I hope you will continue listening.  But the ladies you are about to hear from, well I follow or have had some interaction with all but one of them. I want you to hear their voices because I feel they are adding a great deal of value to the childless not by choice community globally.   I will be back to close out the episode after we have heard from these wonderful women.  Body of episode content: Contributors: Bindi Shah Karen Enfield Nicci Fletcher Brandi Lytle Raphie Wagner Ina Diaz Berenice Smith Yvonne John Sarah Lawrence Jody Day Civilla Morgan   Closing:     Well, what did you think? I hope these beautiful voices were a source of encouragement as you make your way through Mother’s Day, whenever that is for you. I mean I had no idea Mother’s Day was in December in Panama. Christmas and Mother’s Day in one month! Wow!  Well, Mother’s Day is in May here in the US. It is a doubly tough month for me as this year will be two years since I lost my beloved mommy.  Her birthday was in March. So, March is her birthday, and then she leaves us two months later, three days before Mother’s Day.  I know I’m probably hitting all types of triggers. It is not my intention to cause triggers and tears, but I want to remind you that we are all on this journey together. There are differences, yes. Some of you do not/did not have a great relationship with your mothers. Some of you are married without children. Like me, some of you are single and childless.  I could go on. But the bottom line is this: your journey, your path, your childlessness; does not affect your worth. It never has and it never will. You are worthy. Your path is worthy. Your journey is worthy. Hold your head up, look straight ahead, and keep walking. Happy Mother’s Day.        What is celebrated in May:  May 1 is Lei Day in Hawaii May 2: World Tuna Day May 4–11: Root Canal Awareness Week May 5 is Cinco de Mayo May 8: No Socks Day May 9 is Mother’s Day (United States) May 14: Dance Like a Chicken Day May 31 is Memorial Day Special thank you to: Special THANK YOU to all of the wonderful women who took part in this episode!  ‘Be responsibly selfish.’-Sarah Lawrence. ‘Mothering is a verb, not a noun.'-Jody Day.    My Patreon Patrons. To become a patron, please visit https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 128 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.   I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in.     Correction: I would like to issue a correction:    In episode 125--Are We Being Good Ancestors, the January 2021 episode; I made the comment that ‘only in America’, in reference to Kamala Harris becoming the first woman in such a high leadership role. I should have specified that for the first time in American history, Kamala Harris is the first woman to reach that level of leadership, Vice President of The United States of America, as there are obviously quite a few women running countries all over the world.  A listener brought that to my attention and even sent me a really cool video highlighting these wonderful female world leaders.  My apologies for the misspeak, and be sure to check out the really cool video. I watched it twice!  I’ve also put a PEW Research article link here in the show notes, that discusses amongst other things, childless women, and women in leadership roles. It’s a great article.   Body of episode content: WARNING: This episode may cause all types of triggers. I mean just look at the title. So please listen in a safe place.  In fact, I will give you some time to hit the pause button or to get to a safe place, by telling you about my new habit.  So, I was Googling what we, the general human beings, celebrate in the month of April, and well, it’s a lot. Some things are like, really? Others are quite serious:  Here are some examples: Fresh Florida Tomato Month National Fresh Celery Month National Soft Pretzel Month National Straw Hat Month  Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month National Autism Awareness Month Stress Awareness Month Black Women's History Month  Celebrate Diversity Month National Arab American Heritage Month Sexual Assault Awareness Month  Sexually Transmitted Infections Awareness Month There are tons more, but I wanted to give you a list from the mundane to the quite serious. What stood out for me though, was National Take a Chance Day. I want to ask you to take a chance. It’s April, the beginning of the second quarter of 2021. Things are still iffy with the pandemic, but our governments are trying. And remember, none of us have been down this road before. We are all trying to figure things out. But even so, I believe there is something you can take a chance on. Why not start that book, that newsletter, a new exercise regimen, a food you have never had before. Talking to that person you are crushing on, or even talking to someone, a co-worker, someone you attend religious services with, who does not share your skin color or race.  There are so many things we can take a chance on, that really do not include too much risk. What’s the worst that could happen? We may find that we don’t like that food we’ve always wanted to try, although it may have been the way it was prepared. We may find that the person we were crushing on felt the same about us, or that maybe they are not a good fit after talking to them. We may find that starting that book or newsletter was easier than we thought. Or that co-worker or fellow churchgoer is really nice, or maybe not. But how would we know if we don’t take a chance? So, National Take a Chance Day is April 23rd. And maybe you’re listening after the 23rd, but I say take that chance. If you decide to, let me know! Now, onto our story.  Remember, this may be a tough one.       You may ask, ‘why does she talk about mental health so much?’ But the fact is, I hear quite a bit that regardless of what subject matter you are teaching, helping, coaching on; you do not have to be perfect to teach or lead others. You just have to be slightly ahead of them on the journey. Well, I’ll let you in on a secret: most days I feel slightly ahead like I am really helping you. But some days, my heart feels a little sad over the things that did not happen for me. I think it’s natural. And what’s even more natural is to recognize those days and then keep moving.  I don’t think we should ignore our hearts when they are feeling sad or retrospective.  The reason I talk about mental health so much is because as childless not by choice women, we can often find ourselves inside our heads.  And as we all know, inside our heads is not always the best place to be. It's the reason journaling is suggested whenever we have been through a traumatic experience or when we just need to get something off of our chest. I believe we should journal even if there is not much going on in our lives. Journaling is healthy for our minds and for our souls.  Keeping things, anythings, bottled up inside is never a good idea. It will manifest either in a complete meltdown, usually at the wrong time, or a literal change in our personalities, and how we manage life.  If you need help, ask a trusted person in your life to assist you in getting that help. Journal. Continue to tune into this podcast. Join our Facebook groups. Interact with the childless not by choice in the groups. Realize that you are not the only one. You are not on an island by yourself. It may sound trite. I know every situation is different. But I know community helps take us out of our own heads.  So, back in 2004, Lisa Montgomery concocted a plan that would end in the murder of the just 23-year-old Bobbi Jo Stinnet. Link in the show notes to the article on the story.  It sounds like yet another terrible murder until you realize that Lisa Montgomery drove several hours to Bobbi Jo Stinnett’s house under the guise of purchasing puppies, to carry out her plan. What she actually did when she got there was horrendous. What she did put her on death row.  On January 13, 2021, she was put to death for what she did.  The first woman in 60 years to be put to death in her state. I was initially not going to cover this story because Lisa had children, four of them. But I decided to go ahead. Because here’s the thing. Mental health is mental health. Lisa committed this horrendous murder in an attempt to manipulate a certain situation that was going on in her life. Her attorneys’ defense was that she had gone through a terrible childhood which included terrible abuse by her stepfather.  Lisa needed help. The level of abuse she endured from the very young age of about eight years according to some accounts, led her to do what she did.   According to one article, link in the show notes, Her second husband Kevin Montgomery noted that "The only thing I can think of is she wanted a baby so bad,"   It’s true, not everyone asks for help. In fact, most people believe they are just fine even though the entire world can see they clearly need help. And the fact is, in this world, you will seldom receive help if you do not ask for it.  Unfortunately, even when you ask you may not get the assistance you need. Sometimes it is because you are asking the wrong people. But I strongly suggest that you ask, and you keep asking.  When we do not have an advocate, and many of us do not; we will have to advocate for ourselves. Now I know, that is a learned behavior for many of us.  It can be difficult, especially as women and in some societies, to stick up for ourselves. But please know, especially once you are an adult and no longer under the hand of those who should protect you but choose to abuse you instead, that you are worthy. You are worthy of obtaining the mental health you need. You are worthy of stopping the abuse that can continue from your parent’s home to your husband’s home.  You deserve advocacy, even and especially self-advocacy.  I have had the opportunity to interview several authors on this podcast. There is a book list on our Community page on the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net.  I have also created guides on the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group. Guide number five is a list of podcast episodes where I have interviewed childless not by choice authors. Please tune into these episodes. Please get these author’s books. Reading books written by women like us helps us to realize and maintain good, positive mental health.  It is a type of advocacy when we can see ourselves in books and hear ourselves on podcast episodes.     Look, we have all been through some type of trauma in our lives. If we haven’t we will. I’m not wishing you ill will. But the fact is, life is hard. It’s filled with difficulty. It is filled with broken hearts, unfulfilled dreams, and unfulfilled plans. What do we do with all of that sadness?            In 1998, Gloria Williams dressed up as a nurse and walked into a Jacksonville, FL hospital.  Her mission: steal a baby. She was almost caught as two other nurses ran down the hall with another patient who was in labor. They reminded the ‘nurse’ that she was not supposed to be arm carrying a baby. The rules were that medical staff were supposed to move babies by bassinet only.  Ms. Williams went back into the mother’s room, chatted her up some more, until the coast was clear, and walked out with the baby. She raised the baby as hers for the next 18 years, until the lie was finally brought to light in 2016.           She was facing 22 years in prison. She got 18. Her daughter still sees Ms. Williams as her mother, in fact asking that they not toss her in jail and throw away the key.  Well, Ms. Williams got 18 years, which she said was ‘cruel and unusual punishment.’  According to the ABC News article, link in the show notes: The NCMEC--National Center for Missing & Exploited Children says: ‘Many women who steal babies do so in a desperate attempt to keep a boyfriend or husband they fear may leave them if they don’t have a child to bind them together, analysis of past abduction cases has found. They are of child-bearing age and may already have children at home, the group says. They may pretend to be pregnant, they may have recently lost a baby due to miscarriage or they may suffer from a medical condition that prevents them from becoming pregnant themselves…’  So you see the profile the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children research proves. It is quite evident that not all baby abductions are done by childless not by choice women. Like any diabolical plan, there are different reasons people do these things.   But the bottom line is that we have the research to prove that childless not by choice women don’t go around stealing babies. But we already knew that, didn’t we?  The key for us is as I said before if we need help, we need to admit it and seek the help we need: therapy, journaling, Community.     You know, as I researched for this episode I came across a Reddit post where a woman said that her co-workers were telling her she should not babysit because she might be tempted to steal the baby, something like that. There are all types of really silly people out there saying things to hurt people. Sometimes they mean to, sometimes they do not. Either way, the hurt happens.  What will you do about it? Start now, therapy, journaling, Community.        Patreon: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month.  My Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure on the Patreon platform.   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Here https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   ***Suicide prevention phone number: 800-273-8255   Research links: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/02/25/in-vice-president-kamala-harris-we-can-see-how-america-has-changed/   This is the link to the video I mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUujjBqpxOg   This is episode 125--Are We Being Good Ancestors https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-125-are-we-being-good-ancestors/   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-98-pet-therapy-for-the-childless-not-by-choice-demographic-3/ The following links are stories and articles related to our discussion on theft of babies: https://www.tristatehomepage.com/news/indiana-news/woman-convicted-of-killing-pregnant-woman-stealing-baby-set-to-be-first-woman-executed-in-nearly-70-years/   https://www.smh.com.au/world/unborn-child-theft-ex-husband-steps-in-20041223-gdkd8e.html   https://abcnews.go.com/Health/baby-abductors-gloria-williams-fit-similar-profile/story?id=53081106   https://www.missingkids.org/blog/2019/post-update/who-would-steal-a-baby Articles of interest:   https://www.thejc.com/comment/opinion/large-families-should-be-seen-as-a-modern-sensible-way-forward-1.512292   https://www.thebalanceeveryday.com/april-is-national-month-calendar-3514983 Episodes and articles of interest:   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-89-unexplained-infertility-aka-idiopathic-infertility/   This is the Instagram interview from Macbeth.childfree.childless: https://www.instagram.com/p/CMw7oF-lpa_/?igshid=oz6d42xzm66j   https://www.thesun.ie/fabulous/6840289/kids-one-question-never-ask-woman-michelle-keegan/ Special thank you to: My Patreon Patrons. To become a patron, please visit https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  If you would like to make a donation without becoming a patron, visit my Paypal account at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com . My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription or following the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!      

Hello, and welcome to episode 127 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.  I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in.  I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month.  My Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure on the Patreon platform.   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Your Name Here Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Guest Bio:  Marilisa Beatty is the current Mrs. Pennsylvania America 2020.  She was crowned in August of 2020 and will be competing for the title of Mrs. America.  Marilisa holds an M.A. in Strategic Communication from Villanova University. She is the CEO and Principal of Key Qualitative, Inc., and the Key Messages App - both businesses specializing in global, qualitative research.   Marilisa is highly active in her community and is an advocate for fellow infertile and childless women to share their many gifts with the world through community service.   As Mrs. Pennsylvania, Marilisa will dedicate the next year to continuing her service work, and promoting her platform: "Bigger than Infertility". In the coming months, she will be spearheading a nation-wide volunteer service hours drive within the childless and infertile community, to spread the message of living a life that is "Bigger than Infertility", while helping others in the world around us, and promoting the fact that WE ARE WORTHY!   For more information on Marilisa, her platform, or volunteer hours drive as that project develops, you can find her on Instagram @mrs.pennsylvaniaamerica_2020.  Welcome to the show Marilisa, it is so wonderful to introduce you to the childless not by choice community!    How did you get into the world of pageantry? Is that a word? Take us into that world a little.  Dumplin--NFLX   What are the similarities and differences between Miss and Mrs? Tell us about Key Qualitative Inc. and the Key Messages App, they both sound intriguing? Speaking of apps, tell us about that app you signed up for that time? So one day you and your husband moved from PA to CO site unseen? How did that come about? (Once they found out, she and her husband, that they could not have children, they had to reinvent themselves.) Tell us about your platform: Bigger than infertility?     Community Service hours drive created out of her Bigger than Infertility platform.    So, any community service counts listeners!  Marilisa works a lot with homeless people, homeless women, in particular, re-introducing back into home life.  What is your passion, listener?    Links to check out:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjhy2a-jhOY Volunteermatch.com Google volunteer opportunities in your area biggerthaninfertility.org   Special thank you to: Marilisa Beatty--’ Take back that control from infertility.’ There is no wrong way to mourn. We are not less than, we are worthy.   Marilisa’s Contact Information:   Instagram @mrs.pennsylvaniaamerica_2020 YouTube Channel: All of our Appearances Have Been Canceled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8s5-VK3lX8 My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Hello, and welcome to episode 126 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. What is today’s show about? Well, today we have a guest! I am so excited! But before I introduce her to you, I want to say a big thank you to my patrons! Patreon Contributors: Thank you for your monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you are not yet a patron, join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, by visiting patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   And if you prefer to give a one-time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions go toward the monthly maintenance fees of this podcast. Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. So, our guest! Intro: Donna Ward is a writer, editor, and publisher with qualifications in Classics, Economics, and Social Work. She worked in policy development, welfare management, and community development before establishing her private practice which offered individual and group psychotherapy, and an organizational consultancy offering, strategic planning, conflict resolution, research, and report writing. In her retirement, she established the literary journal, indigo, and the micro-press Inkerman & Blunt. Her prose has appeared nationally and internationally including in the Griffith Review, Huffington Post, and The Big Issue. Her memoir, She I Dare Not Name: A Spinster’s Meditations on Life is available now.  And that is what we are going to discuss today, She I Dare Not Name, A Spinster’s Meditations on Life’ Body of episode content: Welcome, Donna Ward! Thank you for joining us! I kept running your title through my mind, why ‘she I dare not name’? Who is she?   I thought about the organization Aging Without Children, are you familiar with them? I’ve put a link in the show notes.  So, spinster...what feedback if any, did you get on the use of that word? Is it almost like a curse word?   ‘I write to shatter the stereotype that shadows me in a singular narrative, a narrative that writes me out of my own society.’ Whoa! That was deep! I guess that is pretty much like the rude commentary and questions we get from friends, family, and strangers alike right?   I read a review by Shelley  McInnis. Have you read it? I put a link in the show notes.    Could you read us a portion of an essay?   What can the woman, or the man, who is enduring a particular type of loneliness, deep loneliness that only someone who never married or had children would understand, do to deal with it when they see it coming?   Where can we find your book and what is your contact information?      Links of note: https://www.awwoc.org/ https://newtownreviewofbooks.com.au/donna-ward-she-i-dare-not-name-a-spinsters-meditations-on-life-reviewed-by-shelley-mcinnis/ https://www.thecut.com/2016/09/25-famous-women-on-being-alone.html https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/03/30/7-women-who-had-very-full-lives-and-never-married/%3foutputType=amp https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19932102/famous-quotes-single-ladies/ Dante’s Inferno   Special thank you to: Donna Ward Donna’s Contact Information: Booktopio Donna-ward.com.au My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.