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8 episodes with jody day
6 episodes with jody day
7 episodes with jody day
2 episodes with jody day
2 episodes with jody day
2 episodes with jody day
2 episodes with jody day
2 episodes with jody day
2 episodes with jody day
If you are childless after infertility and wondering how to move forward without the future you dreamed of, this powerful conversation with Jody Day will meet you right where you are. In this episode, we explore what it truly means to grieve childlessness and how embracing that grief can lead to deep healing, creativity, and purpose. Jody shares her personal story, her insights from years of working in the childless-not-by-choice space, and how grief can evolve from something you endure into something you grow through. Inside this episode: Why grief is not an event but a skill What it means to experience disenfranchised grief as a childless woman How to feel seen in a society that avoids your pain What it takes to build your own support network as you age Why asking for help is a form of strength and connection Unforgettable quotes from Jody Day: “Grief is not an event. It's a skill.” “You're not needy. You have needs. You're human.” “We grieve that which we have loved.” “Grief is the emotion that allows us to let go of what was in order to embrace what's next.” “I look back at the woman who tried so hard and say: You didn't know more was available to you.” Whether you are early in your grief or further down the path, this episode will remind you that you are not alone, and that you still have the power to build a life you love. You are not too late. You are not alone. You may be childless, but your story still matters. This episode will remind you that healing is possible, connection is available, and the life ahead of you still holds meaning. Helpful links and resources:
If you've gone through IVF or fertility treatments and didn't end up with the child you always dreamed of, this episode is for you. During National Infertility Awareness Week 2025, it's easy to feel like the spotlight is only on the stories that end in a baby. But what if yours didn't? What if you're childless after infertility, and you've spent years wondering where your voice fits in? This week, we're finally talking about the part no one wants to say out loud: The silence that follows when fertility treatments don't work. The awkward comments. The unsolicited advice. The way people try to “fix” you with adoption suggestions, miracle stories, or spiritual shortcuts. But in this episode, you'll hear what you've been longing to hear: You are not an afterthought. You are not a failure. And you are not alone. Lana shares: Why awareness doesn't always mean inclusion, especially when your journey ends without a child How society struggles to hold space for grief that's not “fixable” What it's like to be left without resources or support when you leave your clinic for the last time A reading from Chapter 14 of her new book So Now What?, called “Avoiding Isolation and Strengthening Existing Connections” What you can do to start reconnecting with yourself and others in an authentic way without having to explain or justify your path Whether you've felt misunderstood, judged, or completely invisible, this episode will help you feel grounded, seen, and empowered to move forward, even when life looks nothing like you planned.
Hello, and welcome to episode 166 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today's show about? My Interview with Jody Day. Update time! Intro: JODY DAY is the English/Irish founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women, and is often described as the founder of the ‘childless movement'. An author, two-times TEDx speaker, thought leader and psychotherapist, she's known for her best-selling Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children (PanMac 2016/2020) and increasingly for her popular Substack, ‘Gateway Elderwomen' which explores the adventure of elderhood without motherhood. Jody's been a World Childless Week Ambassador since its inception in 2017, and was chosen as one of the BBC's 100 Women in 2013 & as a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She was also a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children, and is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School. After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she's working on a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and developing her Gateway Elderwomen project. She is managed by a small white terrier called Parsnip. Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Are you still a part of AWOC? Working on a novel Substack—Gateway Elder Women ‘Women without children are that village'.--Jody Day We still pay taxes. Research links: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/ https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/ Christine Erickson's New Legacy Institute Gateway Woman is now The Childless Collective Mutual aid projects Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/ https://gateway-women.com/living-the-life-unexpected-2nd-edition-world-blogtour-1-19th-march-2020/ Special thank you to: Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women Jody Day's Contact Info: https://gateway-women.com/ website: www.gateway-women.com substack: https://jodyday.substack.com/ instagram @gatewaywomen & @apprenticecrone free download of intro & chapter 1 of Jody's book: bit.ly/free-ltlu FYI: Spotify now allows podcasters the ability to respond to listener comments. My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
This week in The Lounge I had the pleasure of chatting with Jody Day, the founder of Gateway Women and an advocate for childless women. She's an accomplished and incredibly poetic writer and I was lucky enough to get the scoop on the topic of her latest book, 'Living The Life Unexpected - How to find hope, meaning, and a fulfilling future without children.'Jody takes us on a profound journey through her life, sharing her experiences of navigating abortion, fertility challenges, marriage, and societal pressures as a childless woman. We delve into the societal implications of declining birth rates, pronatalism, and the value of individuals without children in our communities. Jody's insight and passion for creating support networks for aging without children will undoubtedly resonate with many of you and plant some thoughtful seeds in the rest. We also touch on the impact of technology on social and dating landscapes and the changing dynamics of relationships. With a focus on empowering women and fostering meaningful conversations, this episode offers valuable perspectives that challenge societal norms and celebrate the unique contributions of every individual. So let's lean in, listen closely, and explore the multi-dimensional journey of involuntary childlessness and aging with Jody.Link to the free download for the introduction and first chapter of Jody's book: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64469df1e916153dc771f013Check out her work and order Jody's book here: https://gateway-women.com/bookPlus you can expect all the usual antics and hilarious, vulnerable n' relatable personal stories and signature segments that you've come to know and love here in The Labia Lounge!Make sure you're subscribed for more LL action, and it'd absolutely warm my heart and tickle my clit if you'd leave a gushing review or five star rating for the poddy!*** Join my Labia Lounge Facebook group for extra content, Q & As, freebies from my guests, discounts and to be part of a rad and supportive community of labial legends! www.facebook.com/groups/thelabialounge/Get my FREE mini-course P*ssy Pleasure Secrets - Your Roadmap to Bedroom Bliss here: https://freya-graf.xperiencify.io/expiring-mini-course/order/Grab a P*ssy Magnet and check out the new Labia Lounge MERCH over here (there's even fanny packs if the standard tote bags and tees ain't cuttin' it for ya!): https://www.freyagraf.com/productsonline-trainingsAnd chuck me a follow here: https://www.instagram.com/freyagraf_thelabialounge/AND here: (my backup account cos I keep offending the Algorithms-that-be) https://www.instagram.com/freya.graf/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@freyagraf?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pcAnd on my YouTube channel here: https://youtu.be/LtyN8BQg-zkOr support me and the poddy by buying me an extra hot soy chai latte (yes, that is my coffee order cos I'm a bit of a tosser like that) here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/freyagrafOr at my Patreon here: https://patreon.com/freyagraf?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
En su web, Gloria Labay se presenta como una mujer sin hijos, no por elección sino por circunstancias. Escribe que siempre pensó que sería madre y estuvo intentándolo durante 7 años sin éxito. Tuvo 4 abortos espontáneos y también fue etiquetada como “No idónea” para la adopción nacional. Continúa explicando que perder la vida que soñó que tendría la dejó muy confusa, apenada y desorientada sobre su lugar en el mundo. Fueron años difíciles de duelo vivido en soledad, tiempo de reestructuración personal y transformación. Su recuperación mejoró enormemente cuando fue capaz de explicar al mundo lo que le había pasado. Soltar todo ese dolor le hizo más ligera. En este episodio de F de Fertilidad, Gloria habla de sus momentos de catarsis, de viajar a Londres para hacer un taller presencial con Jody Day, y del trabajo de acompañamiento que hace a otras mujeres que, como ella, quisieron con fuerza tener hijos, y por circunstancias, no pudieron. Aprecio mucho que Gloria aceptara mi invitación a compartir su experiencia en el podcast y me admiró la concreción con que me explicó su proceso. Espero que disfrutes este episodio tanto como yo. Clica PLAY y empezamos. ******** F de Fertilidad es un podcast creado para que tú y yo podamos escuchar diferentes relatos sobre la salud sexual y reproductiva de las mujeres, y las diferentes maneras de crear una familia. No se habla suficiente de este tema: de cómo se vive la infertilidad, las pérdidas gestacionales, la congelación de óvulos, la reproducción asistida, la ovo-donación o donación de esperma, la adopción, las pruebas genéticas, la crianza monoparental por elección, la fertilidad LGTB, de vivir sin hijos no por elección, o del impacto que todo esto tiene en las emociones, en la relación de pareja, en la salud o en el bolsillo. Si te gusta el programa, suscríbete al podcast para que te aparezca en el feed un nuevo episodio cada martes. Encontrarás una amplia biblioteca de relatos de otras mujeres (y algún hombre) que han transitado o están transitando el camino de la fertilidad. Gracias por acompañarme, y si conoces a alguien a quien le pueda inspirar o ayudar alguna de estas historias, no dudes en recomendarle un episodio o el programa en Spotify. Por último... ¡no dudes en escribirme! Me encantará saber de ti, quién eres, por qué escuchas este programa o si te ha ayudado. Soy Isa y me encontrarás en en instagram bajo @fdefertilidad.podcast (https://www.instagram.com/fdefertilidad.podcast/)
If you wanted children but weren't able to have them, you are tasked with making peace with a life you didn't choose. This grieving process occurs inside a culture that often has little respect for the childless. In this episode, Andrew speaks with psychotherapist Jody Day about grief, how ageing is different if you are not a parent, and how to find meaning, purpose and identity in what can feel like a very negative social context. Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women. She's the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to' book on the topic, Living the Life Unexpected: How to find hope, meaning and a fulfilling future without children. Jody was chosen as one of the BBC's 100 Women in 2013 & a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She is a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, a psychotherapist, a 2017 and 2022 TEDx speaker, a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children and a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School. Often referred to as the founder of the ‘childless movement' and less often, but more memorably as ‘the Beyonce of childlessness', she's been an Ambassador for World Childless Week since its inception in 2017. After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she's completing a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and nurturing her emerging Gateway Elderwomen project. Subscriber Content This Week If you're a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you'll be hearing: ⭐️ How to get your mojo back. ⭐️Three things Jody Day knows to be true. ⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees. Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall Details about Jody Day's book Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children can be found here and you can download the Introduction and Chapter 1 free, here. There is a live reading group for those working through the book in Jody's online community. Visit Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women. Follow Jody Day on Instagram and Twitter @gatewaywomen and on Facebook @GatewayWomenUK. You might also enjoy Andrew's interview with author Shani Silver A New Perspective on Being Single Get Andrew's advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
In honour of World Childless Week, observed every September, we've released the Childfree and Childless Alliance panel replay from the 2023 Virtual Childfree Convention. This panel features Childless advocates Katy Seppi, Lilly Vercellotti, Jody Day, and Hollie Brubaker. https://childfreeconvention.com
Lovely listeners, this might be our most emotional episode yet. We've recently been speaking a bit more on the podcast about our experiences with being child-free, so you might already know that, for numerous reasons, neither of us have kids, despite wanting them. And from the amount of messages we get, we've realised how common this experience is, despite how isolating it can feel. So in this episode, we're getting real about our experiences, and where we're currently at with this. We're also chatting to the incredible Jody Day, aka the BEYONCE of Childlessness, about her advice on grief and what a childless future can look like. p.s. as you'll hear in our chat, we're aware that child-less and child-free are meant to have different definitions. We're currently more comfortable using the term 'child-free' for ourselves, so that's what we're using in the episode title. It's absolutely not to take away from anyone who's child-free by choice, it's just where we're currently at in our "journey" xx Resources: Gateway Women: https://gateway-women.com World Childless Week: https://worldchildlessweek.net Jody's Book: https://gateway-women.com/book/ Show Notes Get your live show tickets here! We have tickets left for our shows on: ✨Monday the 30th October (The Halloween Special) ✨Tuesday the 21st November (Girls Night Out) ✨Wednesday the 20th December (The Christmas Party)
In today's episode we will discuss the value of policy engagement for people without children, and why it matters for our community. We will look at the historical and current influences pronatalism has on social policy, workplace leave policies and benefits, and public policy. We will also assess the ways in which pronatalist culture and policies impact the daily lives of people without children, and why we must organize for collective action now. Joining us for this conversation will be New Legacy Advisors, Nandita Bajaj, Executive Director of Population Balance, Jody Day, who is an expert in female childlessness, and founder of Gateway Women; Dr. Robin Hadley, who is an expert and researcher on male childlessness, and Therese Shechter, who is a childfree filmmaker, and founder of Trixie Films! Tune in to learn more about New Legacy Institute's purpose in advocating for policy change, and creating a social justice platform for people without children. We will also share how our community and allies can become part of the change we envision for our community and beyond!
“Childless women are sick of being exploited by mums in the office during the holiday” Those are the words of Journalist Claudia Connell in the Daily Mail this week. Jody Day psychotherapist, Author, and founder of Gateway Women joined Ciara on the show this morning.
“Childless women are sick of being exploited by mums in the office during the holiday” Those are the words of Journalist Claudia Connell in the Daily Mail this week. Jody Day psychotherapist, Author, and founder of Gateway Women joined Ciara on the show this morning.
Stay tuned for a new format and more impactful conversations in Women Without Kids: Season 2!
Jody Day inspired us to talk about this subject after we read a quote from her presentation at FertilityFest 2018: "Pronatalist privilege shares its systemic structure with all other forms of isms, including sexism and racism. It's a way of seeing the world from a privileged vantage point, elevated above others, and nearly always conferred without effort." It's not an easy conversation, it's certainly not black and white, so it's still food for thought. Speaking of, what are YOUR thoughts about this subject? The Childfree Girls podcast (2019-2022) is now archived on the Childfree Media podcast! Three women in three separate countries challenge society's expectations of women as mothers with no-holds-barred conversations and interviews. Hosted by: Isabel Firecracker (Colombia), Kristen Tsetsi (USA), and LeNora Faye (Canada). This podcast and web series ran from 2019 through 2022. Send us an email with your comments to childfreegirls@gmail.com. Get your copy of CHILDFREE GIRLS' COMFORT FOOD FOR THOUGHT! Follow us on our social media accounts: https://www.instagram.com/childfreegirls https://www.facebook.com/childfreegirls https://www.twitter.com/childfreegirls
“There's something incredibly dangerous to the status quo about us no longer feeling ashamed for choosing lives that are right for us, and within that choosing to direct our creative life force energy that we all embody into whatever we so choose.” - Ruby Warrington Today I delve into the complex and often ignored topic of non-motherhood with author Ruby Warrington. Ruby wrote “Women Without Kids” to challenge the prevailing societal narratives surrounding motherhood and unravel the inherent binary thinking that erases the diversity of human relationships and caregiving experiences. We explore the broad motherhood spectrum, which encompasses women who are unable to have children and those who consciously choose not to. Ruby passionately dissects the harmful effects of pronatalism, an ideology that values parents over non-parents within a colonial capitalist framework. Throughout our conversation, we emphasize the vital role of non-parents, particularly women, in societal transformation amid the daunting challenges of climate impact and economic collapse. Furthermore, we explore the notion of deviance and shame associated with choosing alternative paths in life and how shedding shame can unleash our creative potential and empower us to challenge the status quo. Also in this episode: breaking down the mommy binary undoing the ideology of valuing parents over non-parents within colonial capitalism women without kids as a necessary vital part of societal transformation among decimating climate impact and economic collapse found family and less hierarchical ways of creating community and family what caregiving looks like within and outside the role of motherhood social life in berlin and the value of community engagement undoing shame of being “deviant” or “other” and taking back our creative potential Ruby Warrington is creator of the term Sober Curious. Author of the 2018 book and million download podcast of the same title, her work has spearheaded a global movement to reevaluate our relationship to alcohol. Other works include Material Girl, Mystical World (2017), The Numinous Astro Deck (2019), and The Sober Curious Reset (2020). With 20+ years' experience as a lifestyle journalist and editor, Ruby is known as an astute cultural commentator and true thought leader. She is also the founder of self-publishing incubator Numinous Books. Her new book, Women Without Kids, is out now. Links: Ruby's Website: https://www.rubywarrington.com/ Ruby's Books: https://www.rubywarrington.com/books/ Women Without Kids Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-without-kids/id1642683714 Women without Kids Retreat at Krippalu Center in June https://kripalu.org/presenters-programs/women-without-kids Reclaiming All Parts of You: Healing the Roots of Shame and Insecurity [Free workbook & meditation download] https://witty-creator-9045.ck.page/e89cafda64 Research: Gateway women, Jody Day https://gateway-women.com/ Regretting Motherhood by Orna Donath https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/552538/regretting-motherhood-by-orna-donath/ Disclaimer: The DEPTH Work Podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Any information on this podcast in no way to be construed or substituted as psychological counseling, psychotherapy, mental health counseling, or any other type of therapy or medical advice.
Well, we made it through our first series of The F Word at Work and we can't thank you enough for listening. We'd love to hear your throughts so if you're listening to this in Apple or Spotify, please do take the time to follow this podcast and also leave us a review. We'll be back in June with Series 2, talking about the new surrogacy reform bill, as well as sharing more wise words from our members about the work they're doing and thought leadership on Mental Health at Work, make sure you've subscribed. This episode is the perfect finale to our series, a conversation with one of our trainers Katy Schnitzler, founder of Mist about her research and training around pregnancy loss and childlessness. **Trigger warning as we talk about pregnancy loss in this episode ** This is another taboo topic within the workplace, that needs to be better understood and supported and we know you will learn a lot from what she shares. What was discussed: Research into pregnancy lossHow Katy set up a consultancy to share her research How employers need training alongside policyHow shocking some of the insensitive reactions were from line managersThe comments that people say in general about pregnancy lossPeople are unsure of how to react to pregnancy loss - due to the taboo Communication training is well received - helping people what to sayNot assumption forming - that everyone experiences pregnancy in the same wayIf there isn't a policy it implies you can't speak about pregnancy loss How PTSD affects someone who has experiences pregnancy loss, panic attacks 1 in 6 people women show symptoms of PTSD as a result of pregnancy loss How men feel overlooked - therefore the training covers the impact on partners as they are ignored The language used for those around those who don't have childrenHow someone was told they didn't get the job as the person who did had ‘more supervision' as they're a parentHow working from home requests have been designed as people don't have children We refer to an episode of The Fertility Podcast, which is an interview with Dr Jessica Farren about her research which you can listen to here podcast link We also talk about Jody Day and I've shared another episode from The Fertility Podcast here which is Jody talking about why we need to talk about childless women differently. Have a listen. You can book a call to speak with us here. Find out more about our services and sign up for our newsletter here. Follow us on Insta and find out what our community has to say. Join us on LinkedIn. Find us on Twitter.
Well, we made it through our first series of The F Word at Work and we can't thank you enough for listening. We'd love to hear your throughts so if you're listening to this in Apple or Spotify, please do take the time to follow this podcast and also leave us a review. We'll be back in June with Series 2, talking about the new surrogacy reform bill, as well as sharing more wise words from our members about the work they're doing and thought leadership on Mental Health at Work, make sure you've subscribed. This episode is the perfect finale to our series, a conversation with one of our trainers Katy Schnitzler, founder of Mist about her research and training around pregnancy loss and childlessness. **Trigger warning as we talk about pregnancy loss in this episode ** This is another taboo topic within the workplace, that needs to be better understood and supported and we know you will learn a lot from what she shares. What was discussed: Research into pregnancy lossHow Katy set up a consultancy to share her research How employers need training alongside policyHow shocking some of the insensitive reactions were from line managersThe comments that people say in general about pregnancy lossPeople are unsure of how to react to pregnancy loss - due to the taboo Communication training is well received - helping people what to sayNot assumption forming - that everyone experiences pregnancy in the same wayIf there isn't a policy it implies you can't speak about pregnancy loss How PTSD affects someone who has experiences pregnancy loss, panic attacks 1 in 6 people women show symptoms of PTSD as a result of pregnancy loss How men feel overlooked - therefore the training covers the impact on partners as they are ignored The language used for those around those who don't have childrenHow someone was told they didn't get the job as the person who did had ‘more supervision' as they're a parentHow working from home requests have been designed as people don't have children We refer to an episode of The Fertility Podcast, which is an interview with Dr Jessica Farren about her research which you can listen to here podcast link We also talk about Jody Day and I've shared another episode from The Fertility Podcast here which is Jody talking about why we need to talk about childless women differently. Have a listen. You can book a call to speak with us here. Find out more about our services and sign up for our newsletter here. Follow us on Insta and find out what our community has to say. Join us on LinkedIn. Find us on Twitter.
In this episode of The Worst Girl Gang Ever, hosts Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham sit down with Jody Day, the founder of Gateway Women. Having helped millions of women worldwide come to terms with involuntary childlessness, Jody shares her journey towards finding power in being infertile. She emphasises the importance of being gentle with yourself and dealing with the void left in your life after accepting childlessness. This episode they discuss the process of grief and identity transformation, the backlash against women who choose not to have children, and the power of mindfulness and gratitude in self-care when dealing with the inability to conceive a child. In this episode you will hear: Why Jody started Gateway Women How Jody has dealt with the grief of being childless Why grief is a process of identity transformation The power of mindfulness and gratitude in self care To find out more about Gateway Women head to https://gateway-women.com/ For more information about this episode head to https://theworstgirlgangever.co.uk/warriorship/ The Worst Girl Gang Ever is a real, honest emotive podcast that covers the heartbreaking subject of miscarriage, infertility and baby loss, expect honest conversations about unspoken experiences. Hosted by TWGGE founders Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham, this show is a chance to break the silence and really open up the dialogue around the topic of miscarriage and pregnancy loss. No more shame, no more taboo - let's ditch that for our children; the ones that will come, the ones that are and the ones that never came to be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On International Women's Day, join us for this wide-ranging discussion with Jody Day. Whether mothers or not, we are women first, and that's the message IWD needs to get behind. We discuss the dark underbelly of the media & its roots in the ‘shadow' archetype of the mother, and how the first place change needs to take place is in our own minds, by awakening to the seductive & corrosive power of pronatalism and how it limits the visions, lives & futures of all women (which is exactly what it's meant to do!) Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship, support & advocacy network she set up by accident after starting a blog sharing honestly the truth of her childlessness in 2011. It got media attention the day after the very first blog was published. Not long after, she was interviewed for The Guardian newspaper (UK) for a piece that went viral & is still being read today. She has often been referred to as 'the voice of the childless generation' Her compassionate and sometimes humorous take on all things childless-related is one that many have come to rely on. Jody has written & spoken often of the fetishization of motherhood, whilst devaluing non-motherhood to the detriment of all women. Another example of this is International Women's Day, which has increasingly come to be seen as yet another day in the year to 'celebrate motherhood'. Thus entirely neglecting the role that non-mothers play in the world, and further reducing women's social contributions to their reproductive status.
In today's episode we will discuss the value of policy engagement for people without children, and why it matters for our community. We will look at the historical and current influences pronatalism has on social policy, workplace leave policies and benefits, and public policy. We will also assess the ways in which pronatalist culture and policies impact the daily lives of people without children, and why we must organize for collective action now. Joining us for this conversation will be New Legacy Advisors, Nandita Bajaj, Executive Director of Population Balance, Jody Day, who is an expert in female childlessness, and founder of Gateway Women; Dr. Robin Hadley, who is an expert and researcher on male childlessness, and Therese Shechter, who is a childfree filmmaker, and founder of Trixie Films! Tune in to learn more about New Legacy Institute's purpose in advocating for policy change, and creating a social justice platform for people without children. We will also share how our community and allies can become part of the change we envision for our community and beyond!
Excluded from policy measures and absent in DEI frameworks, even where laws and policies are designed to prevent discrimination based on family status, pronatalism is so deeply engrained in our social, professional and systemic psyches, that its impact remains unacknowledged. As a result, non-parents remain invisible, while navigating daily and life-long experiences of exclusion and inequity. From our own internalized patriarchal, pronatalist influences, to the ways we continue to cope and mitigate social and professional spaces that do not account for us, it can be challenging for people without children to express why the urgency to dismantle pronatalism matters. How do we begin to unravel the embedded layers of cultural, structural and systemic norms that continue to re-enforce the social devaluation of approximately one quarter of the global population? What is needed to acknowledge the population that is, rather than the one that is theorized, based on marriage and children, to create measurable predictability, as economic units? Join us for a revealing, in-depth conversation with Jody Day. We will explore new perspectives around the question of why the deeply adverse impact of pronatalism matters and why the inclusion of non-parents remains a silent issue within the workplace & beyond.
Excluded from policy measures and absent in DEI frameworks, even where laws and policies are designed to prevent discrimination based on family status, pronatalism is so deeply engrained in our social, professional and systemic psyches, that its impact remains unacknowledged. As a result, non-parents remain invisible, while navigating daily and life-long experiences of exclusion and inequity. From our own internalized patriarchal, pronatalist influences, to the ways we continue to cope and mitigate social and professional spaces that do not account for us, it can be challenging for people without children to express why the urgency to dismantle pronatalism matters. How do we begin to unravel the embedded layers of cultural, structural and systemic norms that continue to re-enforce the social devaluation of approximately one quarter of the global population? What is needed to acknowledge the population that is, rather than the one that is theorized, based on marriage and children, to create measurable predictability, as economic units? Join us for a revealing, in-depth conversation with Jody Day. We will explore new perspectives around the question of why the deeply adverse impact of pronatalism matters and why the inclusion of non-parents remains a silent issue within the workplace & beyond.
The Hagitude Sessions: Jody Day by Dr Sharon Blackie
The menstruality journey begins at menarche with our first bleed, and ends as we go through the great initiation of menopause. For some, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are a key part of their menstruating years, but for some people, parenting doesn't happen, despite a deep desire to have children.It's World Childless Week this week, and we've invited the brilliant Jody Day to share about the challenges of involuntary childlessness, her work to honour and dignify childless women, and explore how to how to find meaning and hope when looking towards a future without children. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the support & advocacy network for childless women. She's a psychotherapist, a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, and the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to' book on the topic, ‘Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children'.In the conversation we explore:Jody's personal journey through grief, denial, hopelessness to real acceptance of her life as a childless woman. The creation of Gateway Women and Jody's mission to make the world understand childless women, and help women who are childless-not-by-choice to understand themselves. Jody's emerging Gateway Elderwomen project, exploring the uncharted path to becoming a conscious childless elder woman.---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email info@redschool.net---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.schoolJody Day: @gatewaywomen - https://www.instagram.com/gatewaywomen
Living a life unexpected. Ellen and Yvette chat with Jody Day, Psychotherapist, Author of Living The Life Unexpected, and Founder of Gateway Women, a network for childless women. They talk about infertility, mental health issues, and World Childless Week, which aims to raise awareness of the childless not by choice community. Follow Mentally Yours on social media... www.twitter.com/mentallyyrs Join our private Facebook group... www.facebook.com/groups/135088803805742 And find out about World Childless Week online... www.worldchildlessweek.net
Gateway Women founder Jody Day on the false divide that separates 'childless' women who can't have kids, from 'childfree' women who don't want to be mothers. In the episode we discuss: -The roots of the false binary that divides the ones who “can't have kids” and the ones who “don't want kids” -The role of pronatalism in this divide, which is the ideology that says that parents are more important than non-parents-The concept of being “childless by circumstance” – versus being childless by choice or due to infertility-How Jody came up with the word “NoMo” (from not-mother) to describe any and all women without kids-The “disenfranchised grief” of childlessness – and grief, like love, being a process of identity transformation-The role of empathy and consciousness raising in overcoming judgement, stigma, and shame-How women without kids from across the spectrum of non-motherhood can come together and support each other-The primal roots of our fear and loathing of women without kids, and how this plays out in society today-Why the notion that we need more new people to support the aging population is an example of ageism – and why the solution lies in changes to current economic policies-Why the “othering” of women without kids is linked to all other forms of prejudice under white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchy-Jody's “Conscious Childless Elderwoman”projectLearn more about Gateway Women HERE and follow Jody on Instagram @gatewaywomen.Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood is out March 2023. Pre-order your copy HERE.
Across the globe, millions of women are reaching their mid-forties without having had a child.Across the globe, millions of women are reaching their mid-forties without having had a child. Although some are child-free by choice, many others are childless by circumstance and are struggling in a life they didn't foresee.Most people think that women without children either "couldn't" or "didn't want to" be mothers. The truth is much more complex. Jody Day would have liked to have had children, but it didn't work out that way. At the age of 44, she realized that her quest to be a mother was at an end. She presumed that she was through the toughest part, but over the next couple of years, she was hit by waves of grief, despair, and isolation. Eventually, she found her way and created the Gateway Women Network, helping many thousands of women worldwide.In this episode, Jody shares her perspective and tips for grieving your childless life, dealing with the stigma that surrounds women who aren't mothers, why we're seeing more childless and childfree women, and growing older without children.
Across the globe, millions of women are reaching their mid-forties without having had a child. Although some are child-free by choice, many others are childless by circumstance and are struggling in a life they didn't foresee.Most people think that women without children either "couldn't" or "didn't want to" be mothers. The truth is much more complex. Jody Day would have liked to have had children, but it didn't work out that way. At the age of 44, she realized that her quest to be a mother was at an end. She presumed that she was through the toughest part, but over the next couple of years, she was hit by waves of grief, despair, and isolation. Eventually, she found her way and created the Gateway Women Network, helping many thousands of women worldwide.In this episode, Jody shares her perspective and tips for grieving your childless life, dealing with the stigma that surrounds women who aren't mothers, why we're seeing more childless and childfree women, and growing older without children.
Known as the Patron Saint of the childless community, Jody Day is a force to be reckoned with. With one book under her belt, a massive, global community of childless women in Gateway Women, a TED Talk, and a nature that is both energising and soothing, Jody is entering, as she calls it, her elderhood. In this episode, I talk to Jody about her experiences as a childless woman, and her plans for her future and the future of advocating for childless women.Sign up to our newsletter over on our website: http://www.unripecommunity.com.auFacebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/unripecommunity Private Group: @unripecommunitygroup - https://www.facebook.com/groups/unripecommunitygroupInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/unripecommunityPlease share and leave us a review on your favourite podcast app including: iTunes and SpotifyJoin the Gateway Women Community: http://www.gateway-women.com/Sound engineering and original music by Jeff Willis. You can find his tunes on Spotify and iTunes
Christmas can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally. Today, I'm also bringing you a series of tips to get you through the big days over the holidays. These tips will help all of us without kids to navigate the Christmas landscape when there might be a tonne of happy families with kids.Of course, you might love it! I find it exhausting so I keep it simple, but if you have no choice and you're heading off to a family affair where there will be family that you may not see very often, and who will likely ask you the usual series of "bingo" questions like: are you married? in a relationship? when are you having kids? - you know the ones - I hope that today's episode gives you some ideas for coping. And at the end, I also give some suggestions to people with children on ways they can help you get through the hols.Sign up to our newsletter over on our website: http://www.unripecommunity.com.auFacebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/unripecommunity Private Group: @unripecommunitygroup - https://www.facebook.com/groups/unripecommunitygroupInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/unripecommunityPlease share and leave us a review on your favourite podcast app including: iTunes and SpotifyResources and articles referenced in the episode:Jody Day's Christmas video - Coping with Holiday ExpectationsSound engineering and original music by Jeff Willis. You can find his tunes on Spotify and iTunes
Sadness happens to all of us, but in much of the world we don't know how to handle it. Let alone talk about it. Having spent 10 years researching into happiness worldwide as a journalist and author, I began to notice that many of the people I met were so obsessed with the pursuit of happiness that they were phobic of feeling sad. As was I. So why are we so bad at ‘sad'? How is there still shame around expressing vulnerability? And are there some any ‘good' things about being sad? I couldn't find anywhere people were having these kinds of conversations - so I started my own. Each episode, I'm joined by a special guest sharing their own experiences of how to be sad, well with insightful and surprisingly uplifting stories of lives lived. Here are some of the highlights so far, ahead of series five, launching next week: - From S3E8 with Kate Bowler, NYT bestselling author and Duke history professor on being diagnosed with colon cancer at just 35 years old, navigating life with the knowledge it could end any moment, ‘emotional tourism', bucket lists and why Kate won't be making one. TW: cancer - From S1E7 with Yomi Adegoke, award-winning journalist and bestselling co-author of Slay In Your Lane: The Black Girl Bible on how being sad and expressing grief can be political and the perils of performing our emotions online. - From S4E1 with Emily Dean, author of Everyone Died So I Got A Dog, radio presenter and podcaster on family roles and the different pressures these bring. - From S4E2 where bestselling author Mitch Albom shares a little known story about how the bestseller Tuesdays With Morrie came about. - From S3E5 with Dr Julie Smith, clinical psychologist and former NHS turned TikTok star and author of Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? on what happens when we push emotions away, how the stakes get higher the longer we stay in ‘the trap', and what we should be doing instead. - From S2E5 with Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, the global support network for childless women on unhelpful cultural ideas around not having children, disenfranchised grief and how to heal it. TW: grief, childlessness not by choice, IVF - From S4E1 with Emily Dean, on how to support someone who's grieving. TW: sibling bereavement - From S1E4 with Mo Gawdat, Solve For Happy author, tech entrepreneur and former chief business officer for Google X on how life is like a video game (and this is A Good Thing). TW: losing a child - From S4E2 Mitch Albom on the pain of losing his daughter and the impact this had on his marriage. Plus why happiness isn't a guarantee: it's a gift that can help us to be sad, better. TW: losing a child You can find all the books we talk about on the How To Be Sad podcast recommends page at Bookshop.org where you can also find the book, How To Be Sad, now in paperback. Keep in touch @MsHelenRussell and subscribe to join us next time. Because remember: we're all in this together.
My guest Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship support and advocacy network for childless women with a social reach of about 2 million people. Jody came in to talk to me about the implications of diversity and inclusion in the workplace for non-parents.You can boost company productivity, avoid PR disasters, and build a thriving workplace that attracts the best talent by watching our webinar!
Excluded from policy measures and absent in DEI frameworks, even where laws and policies are designed to prevent discrimination based on family status, pronatalism is so deeply engrained in our social, professional and systemic psyches, that its impact remains unacknowledged. As a result, non-parents remain invisible, while navigating daily and life-long experiences of exclusion and inequity. From our own internalized patriarchal, pronatalist influences, to the ways we continue to cope and mitigate social and professional spaces that do not account for us, it can be challenging for people without children to express why the urgency to dismantle pronatalism matters. How do we begin to unravel the embedded layers of cultural, structural and systemic norms that continue to re-enforce the social devaluation of approximately one quarter of the global population? What is needed to acknowledge the population that is, rather than the one that is theorized, based on marriage and children, to create measurable predictability, as economic units? Join us for a revealing, in-depth conversation with Jody Day. We will explore new perspectives around the question of why the deeply adverse impact of pronatalism matters and why the inclusion of non-parents remains a silent issue within the workplace & beyond.
There is so much systemic prejudice towards childless women ingrained in our society today that stem from ancient patriarchal and pronatalist views and government policy. Most of us don't even realize the extent. I didn't realize it and received a bit of an awakening right on the show. Jody Day, the "mother" of the childless woman movement, joined me on this episode to share her story and why she started Gateway Women. Her own need for community and support led to a network for childless women, a book, two Tedx talks and countless other accomplishments in the childless space. Have a listen as we discuss:the disenfranchised grief we feel as women who are childless by circumstancethe level of shame we pick up from our pronatalist societywhy the patriarchal template for life and career doesn't work for womenShow notes: sherijohnson.ca/67/Take the Worthiness Quiz and find out whether your own self-worth is holding you back from embracing your childless life!
In this week's episode of Spinsterhood Reimagined, I talk to the founder of Gateway Women, Jody Day. Gateway Women is an amazing global friendship, support and advocacy network for childless women which was founded in the UK in 2011 and is now headquartered in Ireland. Jody is also the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to' book on the topic of childlessness, ‘Living The Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Life Without Children'.In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Jody talks about: her difficult childhood and how her early experiences resulted in her initially not wanting to have children; her abortion when she was twenty; and her marriage in her early twenties which ultimately ended due to reasons including the strain of her infertility, as well as her ex-husband's problems with addiction. We also talk about how Jody's continued desperation to have a baby following the breakdown of her marriage found her in an abusive relationship; the period in her mid-forties when she hit rock bottom as the realisation that she would not have children became apparent; and the profound grief and despair she went through as she struggled to come to terms with the loss of the baby she never had, and the life she thought she would be living.The conversation includes Jody's thoughts on the concept of ‘disenfranchised grief' and the sometimes dismissive reactions of those around her; how her own grief manifested in her withdrawal from the world, and her total loss of joy in all the things she used to love, including reading; and how she felt like ‘social plankton' as a single, childless woman in her forties. Jody also touches on the point at which she realised there would be an end to her pain as she started to understand that grief was a process which she would eventually come through to the other side of; the concept of social infertility, a term coined by the World Health Organisation, and being 'childless by circumstance'; and how, actually, childless women are a potential threat to a patriarchal society. And finally, Jody shares how she has ultimately found peace with not having children, and how much she can now appreciate the freedom and possibility of being childless.I sincerely hope that you all enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it.Jody can be found on Instagram: @gatewaywomen. She can also be found on Twitter: @gatewaywomen. Gateway Women Website: https://gateway-women.com/ UK Link to Jody's book, Living The Life Unexpected: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Life-Unexpected-fulfilling-children/dp/1529036135/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=US Link to Jody's book, Living The Life Unexpected: https://www.amazon.com/Living-Life-Unexpected-Meaningful-Fulfilling/dp/1529036135/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ACM5QVEFRT6X&keywords=living+the+life+unexpected&qid=1653648611&sprefix=living+the+life+unexpecte%2Caps%2C222&sr=8-1Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=shareFollow me on Instagram: @spinsterhoodreimaginedFollow me on Twitter: @LucyMeggesonEmail me: lucymeggeson@gmail.com
Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 140 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today's show about? Hiding in plain sight Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Read my social media post for the month of May. Body of episode: This year I decided not to concentrate so much on Mother's Day, but instead to concentrate on how those of us who are childless not by choice show up in the world, especially around days like Mother's Day. I would be remiss if I did not wish those listeners who are moms a Happy Mother's Day. And of course, a very Happy Mother's Day to our own moms, whether they are still with us or not. As many of you know, my mom, my best friend, and favorite person ever; passed the week of Mother's Day, 2019. Talk about making a grand exit. I miss her so much I still cry myself to sleep some nights. Her birthday is at the end of March, but I promise you as soon as February hits my whole outlook on life changes. It's like the sky just goes dim. April, no biggie. And then comes May. I miss trying to figure out what to buy her for Mother's Day. She loved scarves and brooches. And she loved a certain perfume that I won't bother to mention. She also loved all the music by The Gaithers, so I usually tried to get her their latest CDs. I loved shopping for her. Happy Heavenly Mother's Day mommy. I love and miss you. I would also like to say Happy Mother's Day Mexico as Mother's Day Mexico is on May 10th. Well, if your mom is still here, and you are able to reach out, please try to do so. I know some relationships are frayed, I get it. I will leave that to you. Either way, this time around, this episode is for those of us who are childless not by choice during the month of May. Those of us who may be hiding in plain sight, or maybe deciding to do something different on Mother's Day. In fact, one of the ladies in our Facebook group for women only, the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group; asked what everyone does to get through Mother's Day. The responses were varied. I loved that she asked the question. Some responses included spending time with their own mothers, celebrating mothers in their lives, etc. If you have been listening long enough you know I stopped attending church on Mother's Day. I had started going to my mom's church with her to celebrate her. But now that she's gone, I don't go at all. Although I will probably watch online. You know, when I think about hiding in plain sight, I think about those puzzles we did as children, and that we now do as adults to keep our brains active. You know, kinda like the Where's Waldo puzzle searches. The item being searched for is right in front of us, but a lot of times we miss it. As childless not by choice people though, are we being searched for, or are we typically ignored? And I don't mean that to sound like everyone is mean. But let's face it if you are the one person in a crowd: a party, a family gathering, etc., aren't you ignored while the parents are questioned about how big the kids are, how they are doing in school, are they behaving, etc. And you had better fall in line and join the Q&A or you are viewed as uncaring. Oh, and before someone gets offended, I love the kids in my life. I want to know how they are. I want to invest whatever I can (and that does not always mean money). But you do run the risk of being ignored if you have not made a contribution to carrying on the family line. You've probably experienced it: someone asks ‘do you have kids?' or ‘How many kids do you have?' When you respond that you do not have kids, the conversation goes silent, there is discomfort, and then you each find someone else to talk to. Has that ever happened to you? What about the commentary about you being made to work late because you don't have kids and your co-workers do. The commentaries are made without thought to our plans. If our plans do not include children, they are not real plans. What to do? How to deal with this? I've said it before, but it can never be said too much: We have to make sure our co-workers and family members, the people in our lives realize and recognize our kind but firm boundaries. And then we have to be willing to make other plans when the–family, friends, and co-workers, refuse to respect us as childless people. Life is short. Do we really need to hear the unsolicited suggestions and commentary about our lives? Do we need the mental and emotional abuse especially if we have already discussed the behavior with people? No. The answer is no. I know that it's much easier to hide in plain sight. To lay low and just go with the flow, than rock the boat at work or in the family during the holidays. But I have to ask you, what would your life be like if you made decisions, good healthy decisions about the direction of your life? What would happen if you told your co-worker or boss that although you would generally stay behind, you do actually have plans? What would your life be like? Before I leave you today, I want to read you something that really spoke to me. I saw this quote on Twitter near the end of April and wow. I mean I read and re-read it several times. I asked permission to share it and I am so glad she said yes. Oh my gosh. I read that quote, re-read it, and then said ‘wow, that's me. That's where I am. That's where I want to be. That's where I want you to be. No rush, just head in that general direction. You will get there. Thanks for listening! My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice Episode quotes:
Jody Day is the Founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship, support and advocacy network. Described as the Beyonce of childlessness, Jody's Ted Talk “The Lost tribe of childless women” has been viewed almost 170,000 times. Her book “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future without children” is what many professionals consider the ‘go-to' book on this topic.In this chat, we explore a range of topics including social infertility, the power of community and how grief can be a transformative experience with the right support. If you would like to learn about Gateway Women, then you gateway-women.com – all the details are in the show notes. And they have a range of workshops, talks and resources, which are really worth checking out.
Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship, support & advocacy network she set up by accident after starting a blog sharing honestly the truth of her childlessness in 2011. It got media attention the day after the very first blog was published. Not long after, she was interviewed for The Guardian newspaper (UK) for a piece that went viral & is still being read today. She has often been referred to as 'the voice of the childless generation' Her compassionate, inclusive, incisive and sometimes humorous take on all things childless-related is one that many have come to rely on. Jody has written & spoken often of the fetishization of motherhood, whilst devaluing non-motherhood to the detriment of all women. Another example of this is International Women's Day, which has increasingly come to be seen as yet another day in the year to 'celebrate motherhood'. Thus entirely neglecting the role that non-mothers play in the world, and further reducing women's social contributions to their reproductive status. Join us for a fascinating & wide-ranging discussion about the dark underbelly of the media & its roots in the ‘shadow' archetype of the mother. The first place change needs to take place is in our own minds by awakening to the seductive & corrosive power of pronatalism and how it limits the visions, lives & futures of all women (which is exactly what it's meant to do!)
How men deal with involuntary childlessness with my guest in this episode, Dr. Robin Hadley. Robin's research has explored the experience of involuntarily childless older men and following my chat with http://wp.me/s4T6k0-dove (Jody Day and Kelly Da Silva talking about Childlessness at Christmas) I was keen to get Robin's perspective on how men deal with both! He discusses some fascinating issues that affect childless men from social care to ageism and I hope you find our chat as thought-provoking as I did. You can read more about Robin's work and his reasons for doing it, partly due to his own sense of 'broodiness' and wish to become a father and other press articles about him via hishttp://www.robinhadley.co.uk/ ( website). You can also read an exert from one of his paper's http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02646838.2010.544294?journalCode=cjri20#.UsWcOfZh7L8 (Involuntary Childless Men and the desire for fatherhood ) He shares details of support groups such as: https://www.thecalmzone.net/ (CALM) - The Campaign Against Living Miserably https://awoc.org/ (Aging without Children ) You can also follow Robin on https://twitter.com/robinhadley1 (Twitter ) "Age Discrimination in the Workplace is on the Rise—But It's Hard to Prove" https://t.co/ykD7Zi7Cco (https://t.co/ykD7Zi7Cco) by https://twitter.com/mcdermott (@mcdermott) on https://twitter.com/LinkedIn (@LinkedIn)— Dr Robin Hadley (@RobinHadley1) https://twitter.com/RobinHadley1/status/809347999595921410 (December 15, 2016)
Documentary On Newstalk presents - "Childless" a new documentary by producer Hilary Fennell. "It's hard to imagine that there remains a subject so taboo that although shared by one in five women over 45, it is never discussed. That subject is being childless, but not by choice." - Hilary Fennell, programme maker and journalist is one of a growing number of such women in Ireland. In this documentary she explores what it means to be childless in a child-centred society and breaks the taboo of ‘social infertility' by hearing the stories of six women. "The thing that infuriates me most are the ‘bingo' comments: ‘Why don't you just adopt? Why not buy sperm? Why not use a surrogate?' As if it was that simple,' comments psychotherapist Jody Day." Presenter Hilary delves into the emotional, physical and social impact of childlessness and why she feels it is such a huge taboo. "All the media wants is the happy-ending-miracle-twin IVF stories, or the women who are childless by choice. Nobody ever talks about the years of baby-mania - hormone testing kits, invasive treatments, crazy diets, acupuncture, herbal remedies, reiki healing, you name it. All, for nothing,' says children's mental health support worker and a solution-based hypnotherapist Jemma White. Sensitive but probing, with interviews recorded on location in the subjects' homes aided by creative soundscapes and a contemporary score by Daragh Dukes. "Childless" was funded by the Broadcasting Authority of Ireland with the Television Licence Fee.
We invited Jody Day, the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship, support & advocacy network for childless women (est. 2011), and author of ‘Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children,' to come and have a chat with us about childlessness and childfreedom. She shared many insights and interesting thoughts with us and our audience, so we hope you enjoy our last episode of 2021 as much as we did! If you'd like to know more about Jody and about Gateway Women, you can visit the following links: www.gateway-women.com Twitter @gatewaywomen Instagram @gatewaywomen Instagram @ApprenticeCrone Facebook: @gatewaywomenuk Linked-In @jodyday --- LeNora's Childfree Morning Chats on Clubhouse happen five days a week (mon-fri) at 10 AM Eastern Time on Childfree Club (co-founded by the Childfree Girls). You can join Childfree Club by clicking here: https://www.clubhouse.com/club/childfree-club It's totally free, so come and join us! --- You can also watch our show on YouTube! Search for Childfree Girls to watch the full episode! Remember to send us an email to childfreegirls@gmail.com if you want to get in touch with us because you have a question, a comment, a suggestion... anything you can think of, we WANT TO KNOW! Follow us on our social media accounts: http://www.facebook.com/childfreegirls http://www.instagram.com/childfreegirls http://www.youtube.com/c/childfreegirls http://www.twitter.com/childfreegirls
This week's show is with Jody Day. Jody, known as the ‘voice of the childless generation' and less often but more memorably as ‘The Beyonce of childlessness', is a 57-year-old psychotherapist, an author and the founder of Gateway Women (GW). Gateway Women is a global friendship and support network for childless women established since 2011 which have been featured have been featured regularly in the UK press and internationally such as France, Spain, Italy, Canada, Australia and NZ. She is the author of the famous book ‘Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children' which just released a fully updated 2nd ed. last year, published by Bluebird/PanMacmillan UK and with 50 prestigious endorsements including The British Medical Journal. Aside from being a TEDx speaker, a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness and a social entrepreneur, Jody was chosen by the BBC to be one of 100 Women to celebrate 100 Years of Feminism. She is a founding and former board member at Ageing Well Without Children, a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School, a World Childless Week Ambassador and also a PLICA (Australia) Ambassador. This year, Jody she was chosen as one of Digital Women's 40 Women to Watch and was nominated by the UK organisation Digital Women as a finalist as a ‘Digital Role Models'. A life-long Londoner, she is now a ‘blow-in' in rural Ireland where she is working on a novel and her new Conscious Childless Elderwomen project for Gateway Women. In this show, Jody and Lian spoke about the archetype of the childfree and childless woman, why this archetype is so dismissed and demonised, the hidden Feminine power held there that's actually available to all women - and is the medicine the planet needs right now. I'd love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let's carry on the conversation… please leave a comment below. What you'll learn from this episode: Jody's explanation of grief of the childless woman and how unseen it is, really hit me - grief is a potent alchemical force, already so misunderstood in our culture, and even more in this area - and one that affects so many in our world. The archetype of the childless or childfree woman is so often seen only through the lens of the shadow, when we look at the light aspects of her, we see an incredible power that can be reclaimed for her good but also for the good of all of us - this is wisdom, love, energy that is so needed right now. I so agree with Jody that it's our lack of understanding and fear of differences that are at the heart of so many of the issues in our culture - with love and willingness to understand the experiences of others that we can begin to bridge that gap. Resources and stuff that we spoke about: Gateway Women Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children Jody Day's social media account you might want to check out Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn Thank you for listening! There's fresh episode each week, if you subscribe then you'll get each new episode delivered to your phone every Tuesday (that way you'll never miss an episode): Subscribe on Apple Podcasts/iTunes Subscribe on Android Thank you! Lian & Jonathan
Childlessness can be a black cloud for people approaching menopause and you'll notice it has been missing from this podcast. There's a reason for that. It's because, up until now, I had no idea how to talk about it (and I'm childless!) So can you imagine how people WITH children must feel? We skirt around the edges or worse still unconsciously insult and shame childless people with 'bingos' like 'oh well, you could always adopt'. Not many of us have the vocabulary to talk about childlessness empathetically, because we have been marinaded in something called Pronatalism (which you will learn about in today's episode). Jody Day is an insightful philosopher and the founder of Gateway Women, a global community of over 2 million, supporting involuntary childless women through their grief. In this episode we cover:➡️ Being childless at Christmas➡️ Childlessness and childfree as a spectrum ➡️ Disenfranchised grief➡️ The healing power of grief➡️ Having a language to describe your experience➡️ Unconscious bias towards parenting (pronatalism)➡️ Dismantling the stereotypes of childlessness women (Cruella De Ville)➡️ Yearning for motherhood as a last ditch attempt to feel normal➡️ Reclaiming the childless life (or not)➡️ The fetishization of motherhood➡️ The cultural fear of childless women (the deviant)➡️ Ageing without childrenWhether you are childless, childfree or a mother, you will get something profoundly different in this episode. I really hope you dive into the rabbit hole with us - it's life changing.Jody's Links:https://gateway-women.com/https://www.instagram.com/gatewaywomen/https://www.facebook.com/GatewayWomenUK
There are so many topics and life experiences for women that have been silenced by society, including being childless not by choice. Which is something Jody Day is on a mission to change. As the founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship and support network for childless women, she is a voice for so many who are facing a reality they never expected in life. Jody's own life has followed an unexpected path as well. From ending a pregnancy when she was 20, to struggling to conceive years later, to watching her marriage end, to eventually coming to the realization at 44 that she would never be a mother, none of it went according to plan. And all the while she came to this childless acceptance she faced another unexpected part of life--grief. Known as the "voice of the childless generation" and the author of Living The Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children, Jody works with women every day to help them accept and process their grief in order to keep going in their own unexpected lives. Links: IG: @laurabbehnke @thelifeactuallypodcast Website: laurabehnke.com FREE Guide and Workbook: Dating, Actually: The Anti-Dating-Guide Dating Guide Guest Links: IG: @gatewaywomen Facebook: @gatewaywomenuk Twitter: @gatewaywomen Website: gateway-women.com Book: Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children
In this episode, as we near the end of this current series of the podcast, we chat with Steph Phillips the founder of World Childless Week. World Childless Week is a relatively new initiative raising awareness of being childless not by choice. Steph tells us how the interest in this week, but also across the year, has increased dramatically over the last 2 years. We also talked about the differing terminology used to explain living without children and how Steph as learned to own the term ‘Childless'. The https://worldchildlessweek.net/ (World Childless Week )website encourages people to submit blogs and videos to get their voices and stories heard. Steph has noticed in recent weeks that this is gaining more momentum and people are wanting to take ownership of their childlessness. The COVID pandemic has highlighted the difficulties in the workplace faced by childless people – the discussions on Zoom about children, children seen on Zoom etc. However, the pandemic has also encouraged greater awareness surrounding mental health for example and Steph also sees this as a positive for sharing childless awareness. The sharing the commonality of childlessness has had a profound effect on Steph and others, providing validation and an outlet for grief. We also talked about finding the humour and laughter that can come with sharing stories and that it is possible to come through the dark days. We discuss the narrative surrounding childlessness and how frequent the insensitive comments are heard, such as ‘Have you thought about adoption'. This needs to change. Steph recommends https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dth5LNrJ7Dg&t=42s (listening to this webinar )- which will help to highlight what not to say to a childless individual. Did you know that there is more childless men than women? Men rarely speak out, but they need to be heard more. Steph talks about the desire many childless individuals have to leave a legacy and why it is important for us not to be forgotten. Steph now tries to leave a legacy in a different way – she may compliment someone on their leggings or let a car out in front of her. This small action can make their day and never hurts to be kind. Next steps, Steph hopes to make a difference in raising awareness of childlessness in the workplace. Steph welcomes submissions on any topic for the website. See below for more information on how you can do this. SOCIALS: https://www.facebook.com/WorldChildlessWeek (Facebook) https://twitter.com/ChildlessWeek (Twitter) https://www.instagram.com/worldchildlessweek/ (Instagram) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8trOFYmXCZY&t=1s (Releasing Our Grief through the Power of Words) (good to help people find the confidence to start exploring the cathartic power of writing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzUpkis6TtU&t=35s (Legacy - Making Today Count) https://www.instagram.com/fertilitypoddy/ (Fertility poddy ) https://www.instagram.com/your_fertility_nurse/ (Kate) Other episodes we mentioned: Jessica Hepburn https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/doyouhavekids/ (Kate Kaufmann) https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/acceptance/ (Lesley Pyne) https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/yvonne/ (Yvonne John) https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/kellydasilva/ (Kelly Da Silva) https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/worldchildlessweek/ (Jody Day )
Women without children walk the road less traveled—and for the vast majority of them, this path was not of their choosing. In fact, of the women who reach midlife without children, only 10% planned to be “child free”, while 10% are childless due to infertility, and a full 80% are childless not by choice but rather, due to circumstances. Jody Day of Gateway Women shares her personal journey and discusses the many layers of disenfranchised grief surrounding childlessness. Specifically, we cover. · Second wave feminism and the unintended consequence of circumstantial childlessness. · The emotional, physical, and financial complexities of IVF—the real stats. · Jody's thoughts on how to respond to the, “Oh, you would have made such a great mom!” comments. · When the term “biological clock” first appeared in the discourse. · The pain of “not being chosen” for partnership along with the “not being chosen” to be someone's mother. · Grieving the loss of the “identity” of mother. · How to “reclaim our worthiness” and find our place as women without children. · The fetishism of motherhood. · Societal and policy concerns surrounding childless women. The pain is real, but it's a disenfranchised sorrow—how do you grieve the loss of something you never had? Join us for an empathic, supportive conversation and be sure to participate in World Childless Week's virtual summit September 13 – 19, 2021. Click here to get a free chapter from Jody's book - Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children More info on Jody's book here: http://www.gateway-women.com/book Sponsor: Millionaire Match Download the free app here: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943 Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
"I'm a 56 year old - I founded Gateway Women for all the childless women still out in the cold, feeling they are the only childless women in the world, I do it for the young women who would have been our daughters and those who don't yet know that motherhood will not happen for them. I do it for the women who went before me with few choices and no support - and for the women yet to come.” Meet Jody Day, author of “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children.”
TDC --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
TDC --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This episode is, in a way, a part two of episode 12. Last time we looked at what it means to be childfree and how such a decision can be carried throughout life without any guilt. In this episode, I am joined by Jody Day, as we discuss being childless. We talk about the differences, the common misconceptions, understanding childless people better, communicating with them and knowing that in the end it's not about ‘us' and ‘them', but about all of us together. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women, with the social reach of 2 million, founded in 2011. She is an author, a speaker, a global though leader on female involuntary childlessness, an integrative psychotherapist, a TedX speaker, a social entrepreneur and much more. You can find Jody @gatewaywomen and you can visit her website https://gateway-women.com/ Make sure to also check out her amazing TedTalk on YouTube. Check out our website itsnotacrisis.com and don't forget to follow us on @ItsNotACrisisPodcast on both Instagram and Facebook for more content. We always love hearing from you, so drop a DM to say "hi" or email us at info@itsnotacrisis.com Don't forget...It's NOT a crisis!
This episode is, in a way, a part two of episode 12. Last time we looked at what it means to be childfree and how such a decision can be carried throughout life without any guilt. In this episode, I am joined by Jody Day, as we discuss being childless. We talk about the differences, the common misconceptions, understanding childless people better, communicating with them and knowing that in the end it's not about ‘us' and ‘them', but about all of us together. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women, with the social reach of 2 million, founded in 2011. She is an author, a speaker, a global though leader on female involuntary childlessness, an integrative psychotherapist, a TedX speaker, a social entrepreneur and much more. You can find Jody @gatewaywomen and you can visit her website https://gateway-women.com/ Make sure to also check out her amazing TedTalk on YouTube. Check out our website itsnotacrisis.com and don't forget to follow us on @ItsNotACrisisPodcast on both Instagram and Facebook for more content. We always love hearing from you, so drop a DM to say "hi" or email us at info@itsnotacrisis.com Don't forget...It's NOT a crisis!
In this very special episode of A Single Serving Podcast, I am joined by podcast listener Christine Po, a Dermatology Physician Assistant based in Atlanta, Georgia. Christine reached out as a listener and her email was one I wished I could have shared with you all—so I made it a podcast episode instead. This is for anyone who has ever felt entirely alone in never having been in a relationship before, anyone who's ever experienced racism in dating, and anyone who has ever felt like there was just simply something wrong with you for being single. The episode also begins with my own deep dive and reframe into expectations around our least favorite question: "How's dating going?"Connect with Christine on InstagramJune Patreon Podcast EpisodesJesus Was Single with Kat HarrisFilter Of Fabulosity with Shani SilverEmpathy & Actual Answers with Jennifer Michelle Mason Unique Is Normal with Laura Behnke (mentioned in this week's episode) Nothing Personal by Nancy Jo SalesShe I Dare Not Name by Donna Ward Panel discussion with Donna Ward, Jody Day, and Civilla Morgan Join the Patreon for A Single Serving Podcast to get full access to all weekly podcast episodes and instant access to all existing Patreon-only episodes!Anti-Racism Resources For My White Friends & ReadersPodcast logo by Johanna PendleyPodcast hosted on BuzzsproutTranscript of podcast via OtterBook links are affiliate links.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/shanisilver)
Today I have another important conversation to share with you. It's for women who are childless(not by choice), women who are childfree (childless by choice), and for women who DO have children, so you can better understand and empathize with women who do not. In her mid-forties, after years of trying to get pregnant, Jody Day found herself still childless– and overcome with grief and unsure how life could go on. Now, at the age of 56, Jody has found genuine happiness and embraced her life of involuntary childlessness by transforming her own suffering into service to other childless women. The British founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship and support network for childless women with a social reach of over 2-million, Jody is the author of "Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children." Chosen as one of the BBC's 100 Women in 2013, she's a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, integrative psychotherapist, TEDx speaker, and more. We speak about the problem with living in a pronatalist culture (especially when most people don't realize that we do), the fetishization of motherhood, the unconscious bias many hold towards childless women (and the historical roots of this), and how we can come together as women to begin to bridge the divide between those of us who have children and those of us who do not. Whether you have children, don't have children (but want/wanted them), don't want children, or still want children, this conversation is an important one to listen to and contemplate deeply. Please also share this with those who need to hear it. Enjoy! Jody Day's website: www.Gateway-Women.com Jody's upcoming "Reignite" Weekend: www.gateway-women.com/event-directory/ Jody on Instagram: www.Instagram.com/GatewayWomen Jody on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/GatewayWomenUK Sara's website: www.SaraAvantStover.com Women's Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training: www.SaraAvantStover.com/#teachertraininglist Sara's newsletter: www.SaraAvantStover.com/#subscribe Sara on Instagram: www.Instagram.com/SaraAvantStover Sara on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/SaraAvantStoverAuthor
What do these women have in common, Oprah Winfrey, Winona Ryder, Miley Cyrus, and Jody Day? All are childless or child-free women, but one has founded the global support group Gateway Women and is the author of “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children.” Meet Jody Day.
Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the global support network for childless women - now celebrating its 10th Anniversary. Jody is also a psychotherapist and author of Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children - the book The British Medical Journal now recommend to patients coming to terms with unavoidable childlessness. Jody says of childlessness: ‘in no way do I wish to diminish the heartbreak you might be feeling right now - I've been there; it's the darkest place I've ever been. You never ‘get over' childlessness, it's not the flu, but it is possible to heal around it.' Here, Jody and Helen talk about: - Jody's journey - How IVF isn't a magic bullet - PTSD and fertility treatment - Childless or child free - how the terms aren't interchangeable - Unhelpful cultural ideas around not having children - Painful things people say - …and what to say back (‘I'm not ‘childless Google'!') - ‘Pronatalism' and how it does all women a disservice - Disenfranchised grief and how to heal it - Finding a new purpose – a ‘good' plan B Triggers include childlessness not by choice, infertility, IVF, abortion. It's a very powerful episode where we talk about a lot of extremely painful things (there are tears). It's difficult but important and that's what learning how to be sad is all about – so I hope you'll join us on this one and do get in touch at howtobesad@gmail.com if you would like to discuss further or visit https://gateway-women.com/. Follow Jody @gatewaywomen on Twitter and Instagram. Follow Helen on social media @MsHelenRussell How To Be Sad, the book, is out now. Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.
Join us - Sarah, Michael and Berenice - as our guests turn the tables on us. We were not able to have an in-person party because of COVID and travel restrictions across the world, so we set up an open house with Jody Day, Robin Hadley, Sarah Roberts, Victoria Firth, Yvonne John and Lesley Pyne, with a special message from our podcast inspiration, Civilla Morgan.
Mother's Day is a holiday impossible to escape or ignore. But not every woman is buying what Hallmark is selling. Many women have complicated relationships with their mothers. Others mourn lost or absent moms, and many women are not mothers at all, either by choice or by chance. This week's show explores being a childless woman in a culture that fetishizes motherhood. Meet Jody Day, a global thought leader and advocate for childless women. Jody is an author, a TEDx speaker, an integrative psychotherapist, and the founder of a global friendship and support network for childless women. She joins me to share her take on how involuntarily childlessness impacts life, happiness, intimacy, and more.SHOW NOTES + TRANSCRIPT:acertainagepod.comFOLLOW A CERTAIN AGE:InstagramFacebookLinkedInGET INBOX INSPO:Sign up for our newsletter AGE BOLDLYWe share new episodes, giveaways, links we live, and midlife resourcesLIKE BOOKS?Each month we do an author BOOK LOOK on Instagram Live Follow us for the fun! @acertainagepodCONTACT US:katie@acertainagepod.com
Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 129 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month. My Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure in the Patreon platform. If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Tiffany Your Name Here https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Well, I have a really cool surprise for you! I reached out to several women from around the world and asked them to talk to us about how they manage Mother’s Day. Each woman had three minutes to tell us about them, what they do on Mother’s Day, and how you can follow them on their platforms. Yes, that’s right. I know you enjoy hearing my voice. Many have told me so. It’s humbling to hear how this podcast helps you manage your childless not by choice life episode after episode. And you know what, I hope I can continue to add value to your journey. In other words, I hope you will continue listening. But the ladies you are about to hear from, well I follow or have had some interaction with all but one of them. I want you to hear their voices because I feel they are adding a great deal of value to the childless not by choice community globally. I will be back to close out the episode after we have heard from these wonderful women. Body of episode content: Contributors: Bindi Shah Karen Enfield Nicci Fletcher Brandi Lytle Raphie Wagner Ina Diaz Berenice Smith Yvonne John Sarah Lawrence Jody Day Civilla Morgan Closing: Well, what did you think? I hope these beautiful voices were a source of encouragement as you make your way through Mother’s Day, whenever that is for you. I mean I had no idea Mother’s Day was in December in Panama. Christmas and Mother’s Day in one month! Wow! Well, Mother’s Day is in May here in the US. It is a doubly tough month for me as this year will be two years since I lost my beloved mommy. Her birthday was in March. So, March is her birthday, and then she leaves us two months later, three days before Mother’s Day. I know I’m probably hitting all types of triggers. It is not my intention to cause triggers and tears, but I want to remind you that we are all on this journey together. There are differences, yes. Some of you do not/did not have a great relationship with your mothers. Some of you are married without children. Like me, some of you are single and childless. I could go on. But the bottom line is this: your journey, your path, your childlessness; does not affect your worth. It never has and it never will. You are worthy. Your path is worthy. Your journey is worthy. Hold your head up, look straight ahead, and keep walking. Happy Mother’s Day. What is celebrated in May: May 1 is Lei Day in Hawaii May 2: World Tuna Day May 4–11: Root Canal Awareness Week May 5 is Cinco de Mayo May 8: No Socks Day May 9 is Mother’s Day (United States) May 14: Dance Like a Chicken Day May 31 is Memorial Day Special thank you to: Special THANK YOU to all of the wonderful women who took part in this episode! ‘Be responsibly selfish.’-Sarah Lawrence. ‘Mothering is a verb, not a noun.'-Jody Day. My Patreon Patrons. To become a patron, please visit https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
Show Noteモルモン教徒として育つ子宮内膜症の発見と不妊治療子宮摘出の決断子宮摘出手術後の人生の変化“Chasing Creation” の誕生子供が授からなかった女性のコミュニティ運営について子供のいない女性の国際サミット “Childless Collective Summit” について「話す」ということの重要さ＜グロサリー＞★子宮内膜症本来子宮内腔にできる内膜が子宮の外側（腹膜、卵巣、卵管、腸など）にできてしまう病気。これにより月経で出血した血液が貯留され、嚢胞が発生し、月経痛や月経困難症を引き起こす。★子宮摘出術子宮の外科的除去で、子宮頸部、卵巣、卵管、およびその他の周囲の構造の除去を伴う場合もある。閉経前で卵巣が残っている場合は（およそ50代前半まで）術後、月経はなくなるも更年期症状は起きない。★ Jody Day さんイギリス出身の著者で”Living the Life Unexpected" （予想外の人生を歩む）を2017年に出版。子供のいない女性のためのネットワークであるGateway Womenの創設者でもあり、2013年にはBBCが選ぶ女性100名に選ばれる。★Childless Collective Summit 4日間に渡り「想定外だった子供のいない人生」に向き合い、受け入れるためのバーチャルサミット。子供のいない女性を代表する28名のスピーカーを迎え、それぞれがストーリーを語る。期間中は、スピーカーにライブ質問したり、世界に点在する子供のいない参加者同士が交流できる機会も設ける。Life Beyond Expectations ーVirtual summit / Mar. 18-21, 2021＜プロフィール＞アメリカ、ユタ州在住 ケイティさん 39歳。ジョージア大学にて社会福祉学修士を取得し、コミュニティのエンパワーメントとプログラム開発に重点を置く。厳粛なモルモン教のコミュニティで育ち、24歳での結婚を機に自身の意思で脱退。結婚から10年、妊活を開始すると当時に子宮内膜症であることが発覚。腫瘍摘出後IVFを試みるも結果は出ず、反対に子宮内膜症が悪化し、最終的に子宮摘出手術を決断。想定外の人生「欲しくても授からなかった女性として、同じく授からないことで悩んでいる女性たちをサポートするコミュニティChasing Creationを運営。2021年3月には、子供のいない女性を対象とした初のバーチャルサミットを開催。Blog : Chasing CreationFLOW - Fulfilling Lives of Women〜産まない産めない女性の幸せな人生計画www.flow-japan.comFLOWは周りや社会からの期待や固定観念から解放され、それぞれの状況に置かれた女性たちが自分らしい選択をし、人生を楽しく生きる、そんな女性の多様性やストーリーを応援するプラットフォームです。様々な理由で子供のいない既婚女性、アラフォー独身女性、または不妊治療で悩む親友や姉妹をお持ちの方など、FLOWでは貴女の声をお待ちしています。
Welcome to the #SPAITGIRL Talk Show with Yvette Le Blowitz Episode 96 - Living the Life Unexpected with Jody Day, Best Selling Author, Founder of Gateway Women How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women with a reach of almost two-million around the world. A thought-leader of female involuntary childlessness, she's an integrative psychotherapist, a TEDx speaker, a Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School and a former board member at AWOC (Ageing Without Children). A proud World Childless Week Champion she now lives in the Republic of Ireland. In her book - Living the Life Unexpected, Jody Day addresses the experience of involuntary childlessness and provides a powerful, practical guide to help those negotiating a future without children come to terms with their grief, a grief that is only just beginning to be recognised by society. Jody Day shares how it is possible to move towards a creative, happy, meaningful and fulfilling future even if it's not the one you had planned. Jody Day's book, Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children' was initially self published in 2013 and was an Amazon best seller in 24 hours. It is now published by Bluebird/PanMacmillian UK and in 2020 went into it's 2nd edition. Millions of people are now living a life without children, almost double that of a generation ago and the numbers are rising still. Although some are childfree by choice, another others are childless due to infertility or circumstance and are struggling to come to terms with their uncertain future. Although most people think that those without children 'couldn't' or 'didn't want' to be parents, the truth is much more complex. Jody Day was forty-four when she realised that her quest to be a mother was at an end. She presumed that she was through the toughest part, but over the next couple of years she was hit by waves of grief, despair and isolation. Eventually she found her way and in 2011 created Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women which has now helped almost two million people worldwide. Gateway Women's signature healing workshops for childless women looking to heal their hearts and create a new dream for their life is called 'The Reignite Weekend'. It is now running as a live, facilitated weekend online in Australia. The first one takes place on the weekend of 6th and 7th of March and it will also be running on July 17th and 18th and 2rd and 3rd of October 2021. Booking for July/October weekends is not yet open but you can find details of them on the home page of the Gateway Website at www.gateway-women.com and express your interest. Gateway Women also has a year-long mentorship program called 'The Online Bee' which is open to women from all over the world. Enrolment for that is happening now and the course starts on April 1st. The Gateway Women website has a page of resources collected from around the world for childless men. It includes the fact that World Childless Week has a whole day of programming each year called 'Men Matter Too' and also features the closed Facebook group for childless men created by Australian Michael Hughes and Brit Andy Harrod called 'The Clan of Brothers'. EP.96 - Living the Life Unexpected by Jody Day *click here to listen on Apple Podcasts - her personal story about turning 44 and realising her quest to be a mother was at an end - what inspired her to start Gateway Women - what inspired her to write her book Gateway Women - challenges for women or men who are on their own, childless and in lockdown during the global pandemic - grief, loss, your dreams, hopes, plans of becoming a Mum getting totally crushed - the power of connection and community - the importance for sharing our personal stories to help others - things we can do to support our Childless Women or Men globally especially during a global pandemic Plus we talk about so much more of course.... ----- Grab a copy of - Living the Life Unexpected by Jody Day, Best Selling Author by searching for it - via our #spaitgirl affiliated online book store - Booktopia *click here ----- Hashtag #spaitgirlpodcast //#spaitgirl + tag @spaitgirl - to share when you listen to this podcast episode ---------- TUNE INTO THE - Episode 96 available on Apple, Spotify, Google, Libysn + more or search for #spaitgirl on any podcast app -------- Available to watch on Youtube Channel - Spa it Girl Press the Play Button Below ------ Stay in contact with our Podcast Guest: Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women Website: www.gateaway-women.com Instagram: @gatewaywomen ---- IN SUPPORT - Little Random Act of Kindness After you tune into this episode I would LOVE for you to - subscribe to the #spaitgirl podcast show with Yvette Le Blowitz - leave a 5* rating and review - tell a friend, family member, or anyone you meet along the way too. ---------- Subscribe to #spaitgirl Website: www.spaitgirl.com Instagram: @spaitgirl ------ Stay In Touch with Podcast Host Yvette Le Blowitz Instagram @yvetteleblowitz ------- For Your Chance To Be Featured at www.spaitgirl.com Email: info@spaitgirl.com with your proposal Be Social - Hashtag #spaitgirl to share what you are up to --------- Please note - Affiliated Links included in this spaitgirl.com blog post includes affiliated links with Amazon.com and booktopia.com.au- should you order any books from Amazon.com or Booktopia.com.au via the links contained in this blog post spaitgirl.com will receive a small paid commission fee from the online book stores.
In this episode, Ben speaks with global thought leader on women living a childless life, Jody Day. Jody is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women with a social reach of over 2-million. From her arduous journey, Jody carries heart-healing wisdom for all of us, and I’m so grateful to share with this invigorating conversation with you. The gift of grief is the pearl of great price we are all invited to behold. www.gateway-women.com
Gillian talks with Rev Lucyann Ashdown, the vice chair of the board of trustees of the Guild of Health and St. Raphael. Lucyann has spent most of her career in health care, training as a registered general nurse at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary. During this time she became interested in women's health and went onto do her Midwifery training at The Royal London. In 1989 she became an Independent Midwife specialising in home birth across London. Alongside this Lucyann facilitated antenatal groups in the NHS in Tower Hamlets, taught pre and post registration midwives, held workshops for prospective Independent Midwives and gained a degree in Social Anthropology. In 2003, Lucyann became a senior lecturer in Public Health at Anglia Ruskin University until she was ordained in 2008 and has continued to teach about Spirituality and health at the pivotal moments of birth and death. Lucyann has also trained as a supervisor at The Centre for Supervision and Team Development (CSTD) in Bath. She is Bishop's Advisor for health and healing in the the Diocese of Salisbury's. In their conversation they cover the following topics: A formative childhood experience led to Lucyann's healthcare career. A desire to integrate faith with healthcare led to ordination in the Church of England. Moving from midwifery to hospice chaplain. Resonances between the birth and death journey. Being an ‘alongsider' The ‘handy' women. 'Western Attitudes Toward Death' - book by Philippe Ariès Wisdom about transition Dualistic thinking about spirit and body. What does a good death or good birth mean? The generative journey of parents when giving birth. The deep resources of love that carers have. A story of what life means in the light of death. What is healing? Shalom - having a deep sense of wellbeing in the midst of immense suffering. Story of one man's healing of others in the face of his own death Meaning making and purpose as a source of healing Birth and death as thin places. Health as the strength to live and to die Childlessness 'Becoming a Mother' Book by Kate Mosse Questions and learning on the long journey of bereavement. Gateway women, Jody Day and the Reignite weekend. Disenfranchised grief. The pain of Advent and changing relationship to Scripture What changes society and the church need to make that would help those living with childlessness. Covid-19 and our relationship with loss Profound personal experience that Lucyann had at 70th anniversary service for the NHS Concern for NHS staff during second lockdown. Think more creatively about lament, loss and death and how we can be with each other in it. Importance of the Psalms of Lament Finding hope during the pandemic Find out more at gohealth.org.uk facebook.com/GuildofHealth twitter.com/guildofhealth instagram@gohealth_uk
Jody Day inspired us to talk about this subject after we read a quote from her presentation at FertilityFest 2018: "Pronatalist privilege shares its systemic structure with all other forms of isms, including sexism and racism. It's a way of seeing the world from a privileged vantage point, elevated above others, and nearly always conferred without effort." It's not an easy conversation, and it's certainly not black and white. It's food for thought. Speaking of, what are YOUR thoughts about this subject? Also, if you want to buy Kristen's book, "The Age of the Child" because the plot sounds like something that could happen in a few years from now and you want to be ready for it, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077CRQFX4/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_lKCCDbWTV0DRR You can also watch our show on YouTube! Search for Childfree Girls to see the full episode! Remember to send us an email to childfreegirls@gmail.com if you want to get in touch with us because you have a question, a comment, a suggestion... anything you can think of, we WANT TO KNOW! Follow us on our social media accounts: http://www.facebook.com/childfreegirls http://www.instagram.com/childfreegirls http://www.youtube.com/c/childfreegirls http://www.twitter.com/childfreegirls
Hello, and welcome to episode 125 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. Well, it’s still January as of this recording, so Happy New Year! Happy 2021! If you’re here in The US, let’s just say we’ve already gotten off to a pretty rocky start, but it has also been a quite historic start as well. It would be disingenuous at episode 125, to pretend we have not had some sort of relationship the past five years. You have listened to me through the loss of my first podcast producer. It was a shocker as it came without warning. I had to ask a mutual friend, believe it or not, to edit the episode that was due. At that time I had no clue how to edit an episode. Now I have much more insight and knowledge on how to edit but I would still rather pay someone else to do it. You have listened as I talked about the loss of my mom and how during the time of her illness I went from two episodes per month to one, which is where we are now. And where I believe we will be for the foreseeable future as I continue to care for my dad and maintain all of the other things I have on my plate. You listened to me talk about how much I miss her and how I felt some in the healthcare community failed her. Thanks for listening. So, that rocky start I was talking about: I cannot begin to tell you how utterly angry, dismayed, shocked, and scared I was. All of those emotions wrapped up into one. I could not believe what I was seeing when Americans stormed their own country’s capital building chanting death to certain leaders. I posted on my Facebook page that day: ‘Too often we don’t know what we have until it’s gone, taken away, given away.’ I watched the insurrectionists try to give away the last 240 years and it broke my heart. My deepest condolences to the family of the police officer that was murdered. My deepest thanks are added to the millions who watched that handful of police officers try to protect the country’s seat of power. And the historic start: The first woman, a woman of color became a national leader in America. Her father is Jamaican, and her mother was Indian--both immigrants. Only in America folks! I pray for the safety of our new president and new vice president daily. I pray that even though there are some that want to see them fail on an epic level, there are more of us that are for them than there are against them. I have to tell you though, that I also prayed for our previous president. He needed prayer. This may not be a popular stance with many, but as a Believer, it is mandated that I do so. See the link in the show notes for proof. That is all I will say about all of the above. But you know what? It ties in well with today’s subject matter. Before we move into today’s subject matter, two things: the first episode of 2021 was supposed to be my interview with Mrs. Pennsylvania 2020, except I um, messed up on the recording and did not know until my podcast producer went to record it. Totally my fault. So that interview has been rescheduled and will be airing hopefully in March. Thank you for your patience! And I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month. My Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure in the Patreon platform. If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Susie Your Name Here https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. So, what is today’s show about? Jonas Salk (1914-1995) was the American medical researcher who developed the first polio vaccine in the mid-1950s.(Sep 24, 2014.) And then he refused to patent the vaccine, making it easier for more children to have the opportunity to be vaccinated. That means he gave up a lot of cash! I wish more people knew that no one lives forever, and you can’t take it with you. It appears Jonas Salk knew this. But did you know that he said: ‘Our Greatest responsibility is to be good ancestors.’--Jonas Salk. I believe that is what he was doing when he opted not to patent the vaccine. Well, I don’t know about you, but I never thought of myself as an ancestor. Not just because I am childless but because I’m still here. I don’t really want to think about myself in the past tense. However, I guess as we get older we start to think about our mortality. At least most people of a certain age do right? There are that few who believe they will live forever, but as far as I know death comes to all of us. At the risk of continuing down a morbid path, let me move on. I can’t remember where I first came across this Jonas Salk quote, but I do recall it stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t know what to think at first. In split seconds, my brain went from ‘well that leaves me out of the mix’, to ‘wait, I can still be a good ancestor, an ancestor in general; even though I never had kids. I mean it was seconds from one thought to the next. In fact, as I write the content for this episode, this has happened to me twice. This as in, I immediately went to ‘well, that leaves me out of the mix since I don’t have kids’, to wait I can still take part. You see, I belong to a Facebook group where they asked everyone to join in this game where you include your child’s name in the response. Immediately I thought ‘well that leaves me out’. And then I thought well, ‘I can include the word childless where my child’s name would have been placed. I wondered what the response would be to my inserting the word ‘childless’ until I saw multiple other women saying things like, ‘what name do I use if I don’t have kids ?’ or ‘Well I included my pet’s name since I don’t have kids.’ It turned out to be a fun game and I’m glad I played. Look, I realize we are all in different places in our journey. I know that game may have sent some into anywhere from a tailspin to a pinprick, as Jody Day says. But what I want you to know is that you can take situations like these: a quote that you initially feel does not pertain to you or a game that you do not think you can join in because of your childlessness; and turn them around to your advantage. You do what’s best for you where you are. Don’t allow childlessness to keep you out of the game. And don’t let the game make you feel bad about your childlessness. Being a good ancestor... Being a good ancestor pertains to all of us, childless or child filled. Being a good ancestor makes room for those of us who do not have children, to still be able to leave a legacy. Being a good ancestor means being a positive contributor to our communities. Being a good ancestor means finding a way to leave a small footprint, i.e. using less than we need from this planet. Being a good ancestor means being good aunts or uncles--how do we interact with our nieces and nephews? What can we do to help them get ready for life when they are very young? How can we be good support systems when they are young adults? Being a good ancestor means doing what we were put here to do. Because remember, we are here for a reason. What can you do to be a good ancestor? Well, thank you for tuning in to our first episode of 2021! There are more great episodes coming. Next month you will hear my interview with Australian author Donna Ward, on her book ‘She I Dare Not Name, A Spinster’s Meditations on Life’. Yup, you heard right! So be sure to tune in for that episode in February! In the meantime, remember we meet via Zoom every couple of months, but the link will only be placed in our Facebook group. The next meeting is slated for February. Be sure to browse through the show notes here for details on how to contact me or anything else having to do with the podcast. Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! Happy New Year! Research links: https://www.salk.edu/salk-together-2/ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/human-impact_b_916396 https://theexperimentpublishing.com/2020/11/how-can-we-be-good-ancestors-hear-from-roman-krznaric-on-the-key-to-long-term-thinking/ Podcast episodes you may also like to listen to: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ The Scripture I mentioned above: ‘First of all, then, I urge that petitions (specific requests), prayers, intercessions (prayers for others) and thanksgivings be offered on behalf of all people, 2 for [a]kings and all who are in [positions of] high authority, so that we may live a peaceful and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.’--1 Timothy 2:1-2. My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Or just go to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net . ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
What is social infertility? This week's guest Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, takes us through the realities of being childless or child-free not by choice, in a warm and welcoming discussion that's a beautiful way to kick of 2021. If you are single and desire parenthood in addition to partnership, it can feel like a lot, especially when the questions from other people come in. Jody offers some brilliant strategies and a lot of compassionate perspective on being childless—and all of those things are so welcome in this community. Gateway WomenWorld Childress WeekFull Stop Podcast Attached (book mentioned in the episode) ***Important Changes To A Single Serving Podcast For 2021***shanisilver.comShani on InstagramAnti-Racism Resources For My White Friends & ReadersPodcast logo by Johanna PendleyPodcast hosted on BuzzsproutTranscript of podcast via Otter*Some links above are affiliate links. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/shanisilver)
In this episode, we were joined by Sarah Roberts from The Empty Cradle, Stephanie Phillips from World Childless Week, Andy Harrod from Invisible Childlessness with Jody Day from Gateway Women to share our reflections on the year passed and our hopes for 2021. "It's almost like we're starting to claim our space in the culture" Sarah Roberts, The Empty Cradle
Jody is the British Founder of Gateway Women, the Global friendship and support network for childless women with a social reach of circa 2-million. Jody is the author of “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning & a Fulfilling Future Without Children”. In this episode, I will be speaking to Jody about what happiness looks like to her and how she has embraced her life being Happy and Childless. We will be discussing how important it is to “befriend your grief” and learn to acknowledge it whilst continuing to push forward and embrace your life. We discuss the transition from being in a place of grief to one of acceptance and moving forward. The power of peer to peer healing can never be underestimated. Together we can challenge the media driven ideology of pro natalism which states that the only way to find meaning and happiness is to be a parent. Happiness comes from meaning. It is so important to create a meaningful life and happiness will follow. How can we learn to uncover joy again and getting the daydreaming engine going? It takes tiny steps forward, managing your thoughts and ultimately working within what you can control.
If you want to start a movement that changes the way people all around the world think about a particular topic, then this will be a really interesting conversation for you to listen to. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, which has helped millions of women around the world to come to terms with involuntary childlessness. The social enterprise that now has touched millions of women's lives was started in 30 days, in a course I used to run 10 years ago, called The 30 day challenge. Jody is also featured in my new book, F**k Work Let's Play: How to do what you love and get paid for it, as an example of somebody who's created a social enterprise and business around something she is very passionate about. And so I wanted to dive into more detail here about: How she started that business in 30 days with a couple of things that seemed like very small steps, and then how she managed to get through all the setbacks inherent in starting a business. Her own approach to running a social enterprise. How she's managed to scale up far beyond what she could have ever done as an individual psychotherapist. Some of the challenges she ran into when she moved from doing everything completely for free to charging a very modest amount. This is a fascinating conversation that spans the issues of involuntary childlessness right the way to marketing and entrepreneurship. Best Wishes, John For full links and notes please visit: https://theideaslab.org/jodyday-gatewaywomen ______________________________________________________________ Music provided by Argofox: TheDiabolicalWaffle – My Wish https://youtu.be/sRWEMjYR6e4
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 123. Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan The Knights Susan Imholt Your Name Herehttps://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Stitcher Premium info: Your Success Dashboard: https://app.periscopedata.com/shared/cab7b213-4764-4c6a-acb1-6cda055b4c4d? Your Promo Code: NOTBYCHOICE Stitcher Premium Promo Copy: Wherever -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening on Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE. Today's Show: Well, let’s talk about a few things, get caught up, and all that good stuff, and be sure to listen to some words of encouragement I want you to hold onto. And then I’ll see you in December! Reminder, I am on hiatus October and November. No new episodes. But there are 123 episodes including this one, in the library. Go to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, or your favorite podcast player app. You know the drill! And, remember the August newsletter is out. Be sure to check it out. Going forward, there will be a newsletter every quarter starting in January. Another way to stay in touch is through the Facebook group, and through the Community group on the website. I will be in both groups from time to time throughout my hiatus. Come on in and join us for conversation. By the way, I will be having a Zoom call in September. The link will be posted in the Facebook group. Other places you can find me include Twitter, @civilla1, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. I love Pinterest you all. It’s one of my favorite places to be. Speaking of the Facebook group, the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group, I took a number of episodes from the podcast library and segmented them by subject matter. Maybe there is a subject matter you want to know more about? Check out the units! So there you are. I won’t completely disappear. I will be around, just not creating new episodes. If you go back a few episodes in the library, you will recall I started this last year after I lost my mom. I really needed a mental and emotional break. I miss her so much. It’s been a little over a year and I’m still trying to catch my breath. Taking these two months off means the world to me. Well, I wanted to leave you with a few words of encouragement: You matter. You matter. You matter. Take every day one day at a time. Take every situation one situation at a time. It does not make sense to worry about something that may not even work out the way you are worrying about it may happen. Set kind but firm boundaries. Remember, you matter. This means you must live your best most relevant life. You were not born to live your family and friend's lives. You must plan your time with and without family and friends. Find your own interests, or create them. Create your own circle of friends. It does not mean you love your family less, it means they must know that you have kind, firm, loving boundaries. Boundaries are healthy. And let me tell, it is very easy as a childless woman, and especially if you are also single, to be disrespected. I know you’ve heard it all: ‘You’re not a mom, you wouldn’t understand’. ‘That is a silly question, you have obviously never been married’. ‘When you have a child I will listen to your suggestions’. ‘You’re single, we can put you on the couch and save the bedroom for a couple.’ When I interviewed Jody Day in episode 90, we discussed her book ‘Living The Life Unexpected’, in which she talked about the woman who was put in a tent in the garden as family planned sleeping arrangements over the holidays. Can you imagine? Not only must you set boundaries, but you must also adhere to them so that everyone around you must adhere to them as well. Remember, if you don’t respect yourself why should anyone else? Join a group, like ours, where you can get the support and commiseration you need. Good, positive support groups are good for your health! Community is good for your health. I have a question for you. Are you doing what you dreamed you would do when you were a kid? In some cases it may not be practical anymore, but what are you doing now, even in a hobbyist way, that is fulfilling to you? If you are doing something fulfilling, kudos to you. If you are not and you are feeling stuck, feeling sorry for yourself, maybe even feeling like your life is wasting away as you watch others living their best life, it is time to turn things around. Start on a small scale. Start by writing it down. Whatever ‘it’ is. That is where you start your plan. You can even journal as you make your way through the process. Don’t let your life go because things didn't turn out as expected. Fight for you. Fight for your peace. Fight for your boundaries. Life is short and you only get one. Whose life are you living? Even if it is not the life you expected to live, make sure you are living the life you are choosing to live. Yes, there are tradeoffs. Some of us are caring for family members, in fact, we have family and friends that we must and we should interact with. No one is an island. But the key to keeping healthy, kind, firm boundaries, is knowing when to say no, when to say yes, and when to rest; to yourself and to everyone else. Don’t give up on you because life pulled a 2020. ***PLEASE NOTE A CHANGE: I’VE UPDATED THE NAME OF THE SUPPORTERS GROUP TO: SUPPORTERS OF THE CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE COMMUNITY WITH CIVILLA MORGAN Special thank you to: You! Thanks for listening. Thanks for your feedback. Thanks for allowing this podcast to walk with you on your journey to relevance and joy. You might be interested: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/ My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Becky's father went to prison for sex offences against children. For a BBC documentary, Can Sex Offenders Change?, Becky met three sex offenders who didn’t go to jail, but had rehabilitation treatment in the community. We hear from Becky and Professor Belinda Whynder, Research Director Centre for Crime Offending, Prevention and Engagement at Nottingham Trent University and a co-founder of the charity Safer Living Foundation. Former Love Island contestant Camilla Thurlow worked in explosive ordinance disposal, finding and clearing landmines in some of the world’s most dangerous and inhospitable places. She has written a book - Not the Type – Finding my place in the real world. The Office for National Statistics has estimated that the number of women who reach 80 without children will almost triple in the next 25 years. As a result demand for paid care in nursing homes is expected to increase sharply. Why is the focus on childless women and not men, and how is the data being reported in the media? Jody Day is a psychotherapist, author and founder of Gateway Women, a global organisation for women who are involuntarily childless. Ravinder Bhogal is a chef and restaurateur whose book, Jikoni is subtitled as proudly inauthentic recipes from an immigrant kitchen. She tells Jenni how to Cook the Perfect Coffee Rasgullas with Mascarpone Ice Cream and Espresso Caramel. Sixteen year old Rhea from Shetland put out an appeal using an anonymous app, to anyone who wanted to share their personal stories about sexual violence. She received more than 60 responses within 24 hours. Rhea, and Lisa Ward, manager of Rape Crisis Shetland, talk about what those stories say about sexual violence within rural areas. Mary Stewart has been called one of the great British storytellers of the 20th century. Her 1954 best-seller Madame, Will You Talk? has been dramatised in two parts for Radio 4. We speak to the writers Jane Casey and Harriet Evans who are both fans of her work. Presenter: Jane Garvey Producer: Dianne McGregor
Becky’s father was convicted of sex offences against children and sent to prison. He has since been released but while in prison he undertook a sex offender rehabilitation programme. For a BBC documentary Can Sex Offenders Change? Becky meets a growing number of sex offenders who have not been sent to prison, and have received treatment in the community. She tries to understand what drove them to commit these horrific crimes, whilst seeing what treatment is available to stop them committing any more. She joins Jane to discuss along with Professor Belinda Winder, Research Director Centre for Crime Offending, Prevention and Engagement at Nottingham Trent University and a co-founder of the charity Safer Living Foundation. Scientists across the world are keen to find out if the female hormone oestrogen could offer protection against the worst symptoms of Covid-19. Data gathered from the Zoe Covid app created with Kings College London seems to suggest that younger women are at lower risk of developing symptoms but hormone replacement therapy taken by menopausal women doesn’t offer the same protection. We hear from menopause expert Dr Louise Newson who’s one of the co-authors of the new study. The Office for National Statistics has estimated that the number of women who get to 80 without children will almost triple in the next 25 years. As a result demand for paid care in nursing homes is expected to increase sharply. Why is the focus on childless women and not men, and how is the data being reported in the media? Jody Day is a psychotherapist, author and founder of Gateway Women, a global organisation for women who are involuntarily childless. Women in comedy are calling for a sexual harassment protocol after what they say are 'decades of abuse'. Stand-up comedian, writer and satirist Kiri Pritchard-Mclean and comedian and writer Nina Milligan join Jane to explain why they want clubs to adopt a kite mark-style system, rather than having to rely on whisper networks in the industry. Presented by Jane Garvey Produced by Sarah Crawley
In this special episode recorded during lockdown in Spain, UK and Ireland, we reflect on the impact of the Covid-19 coronavirus and our community, with a focus on what it's like to be single and childless in the pandemic. We are joined by Rod Silvers, Jody Day with Julie and Joss from Gateway Women. Trigger: we discuss our journey to childlessness and adult themes.
Mother's Day is a day of mixed emotions. We can feel a sense of loss and perhaps conflict too. In this episode, join Michael, Sarah and Berenice in conversation with fellow podcaster, Civilla Morgan (listen to her podcast Childless Not By Choice here) who shares her views on faith, the loss of her mother and how she's inspiring churches to take a new approach. We welcomed Allie Anderson, a freelance journalist, editor & writer specialising in health to the podcast. She shares her advice on tackling the day and we discuss new activities and… Colin Firth! You'll also find out how to win a copy of Jody Day's fabulous revised edition of ‘Living The Life Unexpected'. (read our review here) We do mention miscarriage and parental loss so this episode maybe triggering.
What's the secret to living happily ever after with someone (or some two or three)? Where's My Happy Ending? is from the team behind the award-winning Dirty Mother Pukka podcast: Heart Radio presenter Anna Whitehouse (@mother_pukka) and journalist husband Matt Farquharson (@papa_pukka). In this episode, Matt talks to psychotherapist, author and founder of Gateway Women, Jody Day. Matt discovers that Jody's journey has taken her to unexpected places, to grieve the loss of an imagined life, and to embrace her unchosen future. Listen and subscribe to Where's My Happy Ending on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts. Insta @papa_pukka @mother_pukka
Christmas is hard work at the best of times, but being part of this community only makes it harder. Yes, we get it and that's why we've done something different with episode 8 – The Alternative Kings and Queens speech. Because as Michael's mantra says ‘you're not alone', and we've channelled that into this episode with voices speaking from our community, big and not so big, to support you all. As you'll hear, the messages are filled with love, support, guidance and most of all, understanding. Yes, Christmas will never be straightforward for us, because it's difficult to be on the outside looking in, but we hope this episode will help you realise you're part of a community full of friends, love and shared emotions. And believe us, there was plenty of that as we made this episode for you. We hope you find it supportive and that Christmas is a time of peace and reflection for you. Our thanks to: Jody Day, Lesley Pyne, Andy Harrod, Civilla Morgan, Rosalind Bubb, Anna Barratt, Stephanie Phillips, Brandi Higgins Lytle, Helen Segal, Kate Kauffman, Tanya Trusler, Tessa Broad, Yvonne John, Sophia Andeh and Jennifer Parrish. We also welcomed submissions from those who did not want to share their name at this time, thank you for taking part. Helpline details You can find lots of resources in our Toolkit here. UK: Contact the Samaritans on freephone 116 123, they're open 24 hours and are there to listen and Mind. USA: Suicide Prevention Canada: Canada Crisis Australia: Beyond Blue
Drømmen var 4 børn og et liv som hjemmegående husmor med børnenes liv, som omdrejningspunktet. Børnene kom aldrig. Lyt med når jeg taler med Susanne om hendes 10 årige kamp for at realisere det hun følte, at hun var blevet sat i verden for, nemlig at blive mor. - Hør om, hvorfor hun og hendes mand valgte fertilitetsbehandling fra og om deres modige rituelle handling for at lukke kapitel børn ned for at komme videre. I mange år havde Susanne oplevelsen af at leve to spor i hendes liv. Det ene spor handlede om at blive mor, det andet spor, som primært var repræsenteret af arbejde var tidsfordriv, indtil børnene kom. Lyt med når Susanne fortæller om, hvordan hun fandt vej, forenede de to spor til en ny plan A i livet. Susanne beretter om, hvad der fylder hendes liv i dag og hvad der har været vigtigt for hende, for at finde fodfæste og retning uden børn. Hør hende fortælle om mødet med Jody Day og hendes organisation Gateway Woman og værdien af mødet med ligesindende. Susanne fortæller også om vigtigheden i den gensidige respekt for grænser i forholdet, når barnet ikke kommer. I dag ønsker Susanne at hjælpe andre, tage dem ved hånden og vise vej, når det er barskt, ensomt og råt og håbet svært at finde. Hun ved, at der er en vej videre. Hun har gået vejen og går den stadig. Lyt med! Med håb om – at også denne samtale vil kunne inspirere til et meningsfuldt liv.
In this episode, hosts Michael, Sarah and Berenice are joined by Jody Day from Gateway Women to talk about speaking out about infertility and share what it's like to be childless not by choice. Listen to them chat about family, the workplace and the importance of conversation and their personal experiences.
Meet Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women. She’s passionate about helping women without children rediscover their dreams and get their groove back. In this inspiring interview Jody tells us about: How she came to set up Gateway Women 8 years ago Breaking the taboo of talking about one’s own childlessness Her mission to help as many childless women as possible The importance of recognizing the grief associated with being childless not by choice How change may not always be welcome amongst your friends and family The importance of finding your sisters when coping with childlessness Forging a midlife identity that is not wrapped up in motherhood The confidence and focus that can come in midlife You can find out more about Jody on her website Gateway Women and follow her on Twitter and Facebook. You may also want to watch Jody’s TEDX Talk. Jody’s Book: Living The Life Unexpected. This podcast is an extract from a longer video interview available in our Members Club. That's where you get the support, strategies and connection you need to make your (mid)life magnificent! Find out more at https://magnificentmidlife.com/ Be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast player so you don’t miss an episode!
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Your tuning in whether childless not by choice or not makes you a part of the conversation. Thank you! Welcome to episode 103! I have some VIP’s to shout out! Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Your Name Here Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a message of up to 90 seconds. Still trying to figure out how to achieve your goals this year? I have made available to you the same blueprint I use every new year. Blueprints are a great guide and guideline to help you meet your goals! Here’s the link! https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ Well, in today’s episode, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to Yvonne John. This was such an awesome episode to record! Intro: Yvonne John Yvonne’s Bio: Yvonne was never sure if she really wanted children but knew that she was expected to get married and have a family, in that order. Somewhere in between her dreams of traveling and experiencing what life had to offer Yvonne did wish for the perfect family, a husband, and four children. By the time she had reached her thirties this dream had fast lost its momentum, and by then Yvonne had given up on the dream of being a wife and mother. Because of her past, Yvonne had decided that it was now time to live by her choices. Yvonne believed that the opportunity to become a mother had passed so it was time to move on. It wasn't until Yvonne met her husband at 38 her faith in love was reignited. A year into their marriage Yvonne and her husband decided to try for a baby, which led to the unexpected sadness that was to follow when Yvonne was informed that she had 'Unexplained Infertility'. While trying to understand her grief Yvonne was introduced to Gateway Women, where she has been on her journey of forgiveness and renewed self-discovery. Yvonne is the author of “Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children” (2016) and has appeared on numerous radio and television programmes to talk about her experience of recovering from the grief of involuntary childlessness. Yvonne blogs about this at “Finding My Plan B”. A graduate of Gateway Women year long Plan B Mentorship programme, Jody Day (founder of Gateway Women) personally invited Yvonne to lead the Reignite weekends for women of color having come to understand through many conversations together that there are unique aspects to the women of color experience of childlessness that would be better served in a dedicated workshop. For more information on Yvonne's book, Blog, and platform, please check the show notes! Between 1948 and 1970 nearly half a million people moved from the Caribbean to Britain, which in 1948 faced severe labor shortages in the wake of the Second World War. These immigrants were later referred to as "the Windrush generation". In reference to the ship MV Empire Windrush, which arrived at Tilbury Docks, Essex, on 22 June 1948, bringing workers from Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, and other islands, as a response to post-war labor shortages in the UK. So when we had our pre-interview chat I realized right away that we have at least one thing in common: our families emigrated from the Caribbean, mine to the US, and yours to England. 1) I am sure like anyone whose family emigrates from another country, you lived and to some extent still live with one foot in the old country and one foot in the new country, tell us a little about how that was for you growing up in The United Kingdom. 2) Your workshop which is geared toward childless, not by choice women of color was created because we do have what I believe is cultural circumstances around not being able to have children. The cultural issues we have to deal with are probably the main reason we hide our childlessness, or like Michelle Obama said recently, not being more open about the struggle with infertility and miscarriage. How do you think we can fix this, how do we keep a ‘happy medium’ between talking about our struggle and not oversharing? 3) Why do you think black women are not more supportive and edifying of each other? Which can lead to the hiding our feelings--doesn’t allow for honesty. 4) We’ve covered some pretty heavy issues today. And here’s another one: we previously talked about episode 94--Triggers. You mentioned that your experience with the Charismatic church was negative, and in fact one of the reasons you reached out to me was because you heard me say in a previous video conversation, I will put the link in the show notes, that I wanted to work on getting the church in general, to be more aware of the childless not by choice members sitting in their pews. Do you think we still have a long way to go to church whether charismatic or otherwise, with how childless women are treated? Church folk tends to think childless women are sick and need to be prayed for right? 5) ) Pivoting a little, as we come to a close, hysterectomy: are you still planning on scheduling one for yourself? I would like the women who are considering or have already scheduled their hysterectomy, to hear what you plan to do as far as writing a letter to say goodbye (to your womb). Can you tell us your process, and if we’ve already had the hysterectomy, is it too late to say goodbye? 6) Is there anything we did not get to discuss that you really wanted to get the word out on before we close? Thank you/closing: Don’t forget to check out the show notes! Yvonne’s contact information is there, there are links to news stories I found interesting, the link to my online store chock full of great products created for the childless not by choice community is there, contact information for my sponsor Morgan Air as well as the contact information for my supporters. And of course, my contact information is there. Yvonne’s contact information: https://www.facebook.com/dreamingofalifeunlived/ https://gateway-women.com/event-directory/ Yvonne blogs at http://bit.ly/findingmyplanb Her book ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived’ can be purchased on Amazon at http://bit.ly/alifeunlived and the ebook via http://bit.ly/ofalifeunlived If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Special thank you to: Thank you to Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. And their email address is www.Morganair.net. Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org. Episodes and books mentioned in this episode: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/video-conversations-with-trailblazers-in-the-childless-not-by-choice-demographic/ https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1547407221&sr=1-1&keywords=kristin+neff+self+compassion https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/21st-century-hannah-31-days-encouragement/ News stories of note: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/pa/article-6037381/Caution-urged-social-egg-freezing.html https://www.mamamia.com.au/childfree/ My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
Jody Day is authour of 'Living the Life Unexpected' and 'Rocking the Life Unexpected' and founder of 'Gateway Women', a network for childless women. She was honoured in BBC'S 100 Women in 2013. The 'Influential Women Podcast' discusses Jody's life, work, passions, motivations and influences and is co-produced by presenter Nicki Bannerman and audio producer Juliette Nicholls. @nickihbc @julesnicholls @gatewaywomen
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 94!•Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Your Name Here Discuss www.civillamorgan.com I am available for speaking engagements. I am available for one on one conversations on whether or not podcasting is good for your brand. I have an affiliate link if you are interested in Podcast Movement events! Episode content: As I did the research for this episode, I realized there are quite a few types of triggers! Of course, because our podcast concentrates on childlessness not by choice, I am always concentrating on the triggers that affect us. The negative things people say and do to highlight our childlessness, whether unknowingly or on purpose. But research showed that there are of course sexual assault triggers, there are PTSD triggers, there are emotional triggers, and the list goes on. But then there are also what I call individual triggers. For instance if as a child, you were abandoned by your parents whether literally or figuratively; as an adult, you can have abandonment triggers where if you are stood up for a date or someone does not return your phone calls or no longer wants to be your friend, you may not handle the separation or feelings of separation very well. Another ‘individual’ trigger might be having to endure the silent treatment as a child. If a parent were mad at you they would stop talking to you for a certain amount of time. As an adult, this silent treatment by a spouse or co-worker can create a triggering event. What I noticed with many of these examples were that they were created in childhood. This is where I believe our triggers as childless not by choice women may be different. Our triggers happen once we are adults and hoping to be able to start a family, only to find out that we will never have the family we desired. We find out typically after a doctor’s appointment where we hear the bad news that we have been diagnosed with--insert diagnosis here--. We then start to navigate a new journey, one we did not expect to have to. We slowly come to the realization that having children was never a guarantee. It took me a long time to come to that realization! Yes, I know there are some women who knew when they were children that they would not be having any of their own. Typically because of something that happened to them as children or something they witnessed. Again, there is that common denominator: a childhood event. But I still believe childless not by choice triggers are an adult event. So what are examples of childless not by choice triggers? These are based on personal experience as well as the experiences childless not by choice women have advised in our group, that they have experienced: Family members call out your childlessness in public by asking when you will be having children, advising you they are waiting for the next baby. Family and friends who allowed you to have a relationship with their children, and then out of the clear blue stopped the relationship from continuing. Family and friends who make passive aggressive comments about your childlessness. Strangers who ask if you have children and then prolong your response with their heartless or thoughtless commentary. These are just a few examples. But the fact is, when any of these things happen, depending on where a childless not by choice woman or man may be in their journey, this type of commentary can send someone into a tailspin lasting a day or more. Those of us who have decided to deal with our triggers may not be sent into such a tailspin. We recognize the commentary as a pinprick to the heart versus a horse kick to the heart, as Jody Day so eloquently put it in episode 90: http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/ So how does one get from a days-long tailspin to a temporary pin prick when dealing with triggers? I have said it in previous episodes, but here it is in a nutshell, based on a Google search: ‘First step is to beware of your triggers. Next, recognize when the wave is beginning. Take some simple steps like stopping what you are doing breathe deeply for 5–10 breaths to regain some emotional control. You can teach yourself to limit your emotions.’--Google. Three questions to consider as you begin to face your triggers: What are your triggers? How do you feel when they take place? How long do these feelings last? This is an important step. In fact, think about these three question above before a triggering event, when you are in a calm place. When you do this, you have faced the monster! Next step: Remember, there is no way to avoid the triggers. In fact, it is not healthy. If you feel you cannot face the trigger or triggers alone, please see a therapist. Once you make the decision to face these triggers, you will feel a weight lift off of your shoulders. You are basically admitting to yourself that you have triggers surrounding your childlessness, and what those triggers are. When you admit these things to yourself, they are actually a strengthener to your psyche and even to your character. Remember, you cannot control how someone else treats you, but you can control your reaction to that treatment. When someone says or does something that could trigger you, and you have taken steps toward facing, recognizing, and dealing with said triggers; there is no way those triggers can affect you the same way as if you had not begun to deal with your triggers. Can you see how important it is to face and deal with your triggers? It is very important. It will take time for you to get from days long tailspins to minutes long pinpricks, but it can happen. It all starts with you. Isn’t that usually the case? Be sure to check out the links I listed below. They were used as research for this episode. I especially liked the article on the Psych Central website, ‘What is a Trigger? By U. of Alberta, Sexual Assault Centre’. Articles and sites used for the research of this episode: https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-a-trigger/ https://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Unavoidable-Anxiety-Triggers https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18348/what-are-emotional-triggers-why-you-need-to-understand-them.html My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMPlease help me out by taking this very short survey!https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. As we conclude Season 3, it seems fitting to share this conversation with Jody Day, who was the first ever interviewee on Unclassified Woman a few years ago. How do you combat society’s ideology about those who are on the “outside”? It’s not an easy task, but one that a few brave people are called upon to challenge. Today’s show is all about how we approach taboo topics, the dominance of pro-natalistic thinking and current trends in the way families are formed. Don’t miss this eye-opening conversation! "I found myself in midlife as part of the 'out' group because of something that was not of my choosing." Today, we’re catching up with Jody and finding out what’s been happening in her work in the past few years. Jody is the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women and the author of Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children. Jody’s a thought leader on the topic of women's involuntary childlessness and a founding member and former board member of AWOC, Ageing Without Children. She’s a former Cambridge Business Fellow in Social Innovation, a TEDx speaker, and a psychotherapist-in-training. She’s a very busy lady who takes great pleasure in helping childless women get their groove back and find their tribe via the Gateway Women workshops’ online communities and social meet-ups that happen all around the globe. What you’ll hear in this episode: The update on the last four years: Jody’s blog, the feedback from her work, and finding her tribe. In the UK, 1 in 5 women reach midlife without having children. The difference in the UK and the US as far as making an impact. How Jody developed and branded her blog so that women can identify with it and not feel alone in their experience. How the topic of childlessness is a combination of taboo, painful subjects like grief and infertility. How millennials view childlessness, both chosen and involuntary. The changing narrative around discussions about our bodies, sexuality, and childbearing. One area that still needs a dramatic shift in openness---menopause. Another taboo topic is abortion and its accompanying shame, guilt, and grief. Something we need to discuss more openly... Why Jody says she talks about her personal abortion experience at every opportunity--simply because it’s a taboo topic. Jody’s studies that are ongoing so she can graduate next Spring. In 2016, the 2nd edition of her book came out, with many interviews with childless women and men. The next stages of the social change that will take place and how legacy will play into the grieving process. Legacy can be a lifetime of moments of connection and empathy What “Plan B” looks like and why it doesn’t always mean something different than what you already have. Jody’s fantasy and what it meant about her value of motherhood and the validation of her mother’s heart. The compassion Jody feels for all disenfranchised groups of people. How her eyes have been opened to those who have been judged for something they couldn’t control. Jody’s Fertility Fight Club talk at Fertility Fest (find it at www.fertilityfest.com). The pro-natal ideology: the belief that you are a more important person because you’ve had children. The message is that if you are a parent, your life has more value. The prediction for Australia that by 2030 there will be more non-traditional family units without children than with children. 25% of the adult population will age without having children, but often this sector of the population are ignored. The huge need for reorganisation in our social systems. The future of Gateway Women as they tackle two main issues: pro-natalism in the workplace and getting stories of childlessness into the mainstream with humour. The difficulty in challenging and changing belief systems: how do we get the rest of the world to understand us and shift their thinking? Resources: www.gateway-women.com Find Jody on Instagram and Twitter: @GatewayWomen If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For information about more episodes go to: michellemariemcgrath.com I would love to hear what you found most helpful about this interview. Thank you.
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!) https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah Jordan Morgan Just a reminder, visit the website where you can join the community group, check out all podcast episodes, blogs, and resources www.childlessnotbychoice.net, the website is where the conversation is happening. Well, we have a special guest today! Intro Jody: Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, is author of the best-selling book ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, and the best selling book ‘Rocking The Life Unexpected--. She is a founding member and former board member at www.awoc.org (Ageing Without Children). Her TEDx talk, 'The Lost Tribe of Childless Women' was given at TEDxHull in March 2017 and has had more than 27K views. Jody was honoured in BBC'S 100 Women in 2013. And she is a trainee psychotherapist, and a former fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School, Cambridge University. She runs workshops, online courses, a global online community and global social events for women coming to terms with a life that doesn’t include motherhood, and is currently training other women to lead her workshops in the UK, Ireland, Europe, The USA & Canada. She plans to train more in Australia and New Zealand in the near future. Gateway Women has an aggregated social reach of over 2-million, between the website, various social media platforms, and its global public and private communities. Jody was partnered/married for 16 years in her 20s and 30s, during which she experienced unexplained infertility after an abortion in her very early 20s. She was single for many years before meeting her current partner. They divide their time between Ireland and Ibiza. Welcome, Jody: I’m going to start out by going way back in time: Your article ‘I may not be a mother – but I'm still a person’--written in The Guardian Newspaper, --Friday February 24, 2012... As I read the article, I could feel my heart breaking for the way you were treated at the party. I know the article was written so long ago, and it is not healthy to dwell on things, but what comes to mind when or if you think back to those times and events? 2) Why did you name your platform Gateway Women? 3) I read a quote recently: ‘When our broken dreams have cost us so dear, dreaming a new dream takes great courage’.--It was attributed to Gateway Women. Was that your quote? Either way, how do you grasp the courage to dream a new dream? 4) As I read through your intro in ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, I stopped short at the section where you considered doing volunteer work in Kabul, but reconsidered because you did not think you could deal with the Kabul winter. You weren’t even considering the fact that Kabul was in the middle of a war and that you could become a casualty. I definitely understand the level of grief where we do not even consider our safety. How do you get people outside of the childless not by choice demographic to understand that level of grief. Do you even bother? 5) In chapter one, you talk about the ‘universe of pain, heartbreak, surprise, dashed hopes, shock and grief…’ and the word shock jumped out at me. Shock for me was delayed...and then it came and went in waves. Which one of those nouns jumps out at you, if any? How did you overcome? 6) I’ve been questioned about how I am childless not by choice because I did not meet Mr. Right. It wasn’t an infertility issue, it was a social issue (no Mr. Right) plus biology (fibroids) equals no children. I read your list of 50 ways to be childless not by choice. My reason was number one! I got a little chuckle as it always amazes me how people can see you but not see you. Do you ever get tired of telling your story, explaining your childless? Or does it make a difference who the audience is? 7) (Ch. 3) Life can be tough. Motherhood can be tough. Childlessness can be tough. Well, we all know life can be tough. How do we get the motherhood camp and the childless camp that life is indeed tough no matter which camp we belong to, that being childless is not a free ride? 8) In chapter 3 I believe, you say: ‘Ideology is that which everyone believes to be ‘true’, but it’s actually a mixture of accepted prevalent beliefs that serve to support the dominant power group. Up until 500 years ago everyone thought the world was flat. That was an idea, not a truth, and around it was created a powerful ideology of Western Europe being at the centre of the world. So perhaps the ‘belief’ that a woman can only have a meaningful life if she is a mother may prove to be an ideological one and not the purely biological one that many of us have come to believe.’ Do you think society can really get past this ‘biological’ process we have utilized since the dawn of time? Is it just a matter of society learning to embrace empathy? 9) Chapter 4, ‘Grief is a dialogue not a monologue’ -- ‘Just as one of the most painful romantic experiences is ‘unrequited love’, I think that disenfranchised grief is a form of ‘unrequited grief’--a grief that is not allowed to be expressed, not allowed to be in a relationship. But grief cannot move into its active state, ‘grieving’, without a relationship because grief is a dialogue not a monologue. And until we find a place to have that dialogue, either face to face, online, or with a skilled therapist, it stays wedged in our hearts like a splinter. And it festers as it waits, infecting our life and our soul with sadness.’ (Location 1215 in Kindle). Not only do we need to dialogue, but it is important to dialogue with someone who understands our pain. This is why community is so important isn’t it? 10) I never thought of the term ‘double whammy’ as possibly patriarchal until I read your book. It made me take a look at the way I use the term to describe what has happened in my life--no husband, no children. The last thing I want is to be pitied. What an eye opener! I had so many more questions, but I had to cut it off somewhere. I do need to mention that as I read about how families treat the childless not by choice family members among them. I have experienced this to some level, as I am sure almost all childless not by choice women have. 11) I read about the one woman who was forced out of her own bedroom to sleep in a tent in the garden to make room for her young niece! I was like, ‘are you kidding me???’ I love your suggestion that the time to negotiate proper treatment during family get togethers is not right before the get together. I talk about kind but firm boundaries quite a bit on my platform. The bottom line is, we need to as childless not by choice women, condition or train the people around us, as to how we expect to be treated. But at the same time, we have to believe we deserve respect, and it can be hard depending on where we are in our journey. If we are feeling shame and then our family and friends shame us, we will probably just allow the shame to continue at least for a time. Oh my goodness, there is so much more: The Spinster stereotype, the doting aunt stereotype, the older childless woman being a witch or the mean Cruella de Ville...my mom got married at age 28, and on her marriage certificate it says her previous status was Spinster. She was 28! I have always been offended with that language. But my mom always said those were the days. It doesn’t seem like much has changed. Is there anything you would like to add, anything you would like to say before we close out? NOTE: Read more about the fetishism of motherhood in chapter 3. It is deep! Chapters 8-10 pressed all types of buttons for me. Please do take the opportunity to read this book. I think you will thoroughly enjoy it! Books by Jody Day: ‘Living the Life Unexpected, 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’ Articles/Blogs written by Jody Day: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/25/child-free-women-jody-day Jody’s contact information: https://gateway-women.com/ Twitter: @GatewayWomen Instagram: @GatewayWomen Facebook: @GatewayWomenUK Email: Jody@gateway-women.com www.awoc.org ‘It’s not a when, it’s an if.’--Jody Day. Articles of note/episodes mentioned in this episode: http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/ http://allafrica.com/stories/201806050128.html My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMPlease help me out by taking this very short survey!https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Jody Day (the founder of The Gateway Foundation) and I discuss her journey to being childless, the ideology of pronatalism, how the festishism of motherhood serves no woman, and 50 reasons why a woman may not be a mother (they aren’t what you might expect). Here’s Jody: Listen and subscribe in iTunes Listen and subscribe […]
Jody Day is an author, social entrepreneur and the founder of Gateway Women a global friendship and support network for childless women. She is a founding member at AWOC, (Ageing without Children Collective) and a Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School at Cambridge University in the UK. Jody’s book, Rocking the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Life Without Children is an Amazon bestseller. Jody runs workshops, social events and private sessions for women coming to terms with the life that doesn’t include motherhood as well as speaking out about the issues and prejudices that childless women face. You can find out more about Jody’s work here. In this episode, Jody shares how she be turning 51 this year and her journey and experience of being a childless woman up until this point in her life. At 20 years old she had an abortion. She was in a long line of women who have had children at a very young age and her mother had impressed upon her that she needed to live her own life before she should have children. At 29 she tried to conceive with her then husband. However, by 33-34 she still was not pregnant. By this time she was doing all she could to conceive. Unfortunately her marriage started to deteriorate. At 38, her husband suggested they try IVF. However she realised that it wouldn’t be right to bring a baby into their marriage. After having a nervous breakdown soon after and many realisations, she decided to divorce her husband. By the time she was 43 and had experienced a few other relationships, she realised that that her opportunity to be a mother had passed. Reflecting on her life and wanting to have a child, Jody realised how obsessed she had been. She admitted that at one point she even was willing to ignore her husband’s addictions because she wanted to have a child so badly. It was a very difficult and challenging time. Realising and accepting the fact that she wouldn’t be a mother was an excruciating and long process. For about 15 years she had the strong feeling of connection within her belly that she put her life on hold and planned her whole life around that feeling. She called this, psychologically nesting. She was preparing this space in her life for the family that was coming. She was living a half-life – it became one-track. It was a massive shock realising that this life would never happen. She went into a profound period of grieving which she wasn’t aware of at the time. Since she couldn’t find the right help for herself at that time, she decided to become a psychotherapist. At first she thought that she couldn’t be a good psychotherapist since she wasn’t a mother but then realised that after going through her experiences she could be a great one. She is in the process of completing her studies.. When she was going through the portion of her class on grief she realised that was what she was going through a few months previously. She wrote down a map of her emotional experience including the emotional experiences of the women she was meeting while she was writing the Gateway Women’s blog and realised that it was a perfect fit. With great relief she realised that: There was a name for what she was experiencing. She wasn’t going crazy. This will be over one day. She compares this grief to losing a parent. Once you lose them, you can’t have another. That’s the same as realising that you can never have a child, you will never have all the “firsts” experiences. The grief also came in the form of alienation from her peer group or how they thought about her because she’s childless. The loss of her identity as a woman. Some of her friends were understanding but it was too painful for her to be around them. She withdrew. People made the most hopeless but well-meaning comments. How do you deal with some of the inappropriate questions or comments? “It depends on who the person is, what the situation is and people are a bit clueless about it but it is still a socially acceptable question.” Some feisty women in her Gateway group have been known to say – usually to strangers – if someone asked “Do you have kids? Why not?” The response, “Well, I didn’t know that we were going to get personal so quickly, so how much do you earn?” This is a private matter! Jody found that her answers have changed over time after facing her grief. There’s a myth that people who don’t have children hate children. Jody says that it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Her response has changed to, “No, I’m just not fortunate enough.” She feels that the culture should probably change to where if someone does (or does not) have children, they should be the first to mention them. People may not be intentionally unkind, they’re just being thoughtless. This is no longer a small subject. 1 in 5 women are turning 45 without having children. 10% of those have made the choice. 10% have some kind of medical infertility or other medical issues that prevent them from having children. 80% are childless by circumstance due to so many reasons at the time of their fertile years. “The really important reason they haven’t had children is because they haven’t gotten pregnant accidentally on purpose.” Social Infertility is a term that is commonly used now – There are so many women out there in their 30’s and 40’s who want to find a suitable partner but just can’t. Jody feels that there are some important reasons for that. She calls the current generation as the “shock absorber generation” after the sexual revolution because: We have access to the pill.We have access to legalized and safe abortions.We have access to higher education.We have access to executive professions.We have access to fertility treatments. There has been an increase of women going into the higher professions but we don’t have the same corresponding number of men doing so. It’s important that we put our situation into the social and economic context of our time. We are living through an extraordinary moment in the history of dating and mating. Can you now see the gifts and benefits having gone through all that experience? For Jody, not being able to have children really broke her heart. “…broke me but also broke me open in a profound way that has changed me…childlessness broke my heart but grief healed it bigger.” It has helped her become the woman that she was meant to be. Jody has been able to use her mother’s heart in a different way in the work that she’s doing now. It’s deeply satisfying. She’s comfortable with the idea that she might be single for the rest of her life but there are times that it is difficult. She really loves her life now. “How am I going to fill my life until death?” Jody understands that grief is a form of love. “We only grieve that which we have loved.” Grief is a relational emotion. It may allow us to love again. “Time does not heal grief, only grieving heals grief.” Grief needs to be related to. The most important thing about grief is it needs to be heard. Steps toward healing from grief: Allow yourself to feel those feelings.Allow yourself to go through the process, don’t try to stop it.There needs to be some kind of dialogue – with anyone.Allow yourself to be vulnerable.Being open and vulnerable allows others to be open and vulnerable. Moving forward, Jody is excited to confirm that her book is going to be republished by Bluebird (PanMacmillan) in the UK to come out for International Women’s Day in March 2016. It’s a revised and expanded version and will be translated into other languages. She was also made a Fellow of Social Innovation at Cambridge University for her work with Gateway Women. This gives her the opportunity to teach the new generation of leaders. These group of women are an extraordinary resource in a culture in desperate need of cause. It’s not a coincidence. Jody feels that this group of women are filling in the gaps, where mothers out there may be too busy raising the next great generation. See here to order Jody’s book Did you enjoy this episode? Do you have any friends or family members that you feel would benefit from this podcast series? Please share.
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