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If you are childless after infertility and wondering how to move forward without the future you dreamed of, this powerful conversation with Jody Day will meet you right where you are. In this episode, we explore what it truly means to grieve childlessness and how embracing that grief can lead to deep healing, creativity, and purpose. Jody shares her personal story, her insights from years of working in the childless-not-by-choice space, and how grief can evolve from something you endure into something you grow through. Inside this episode: Why grief is not an event but a skill What it means to experience disenfranchised grief as a childless woman How to feel seen in a society that avoids your pain What it takes to build your own support network as you age Why asking for help is a form of strength and connection Unforgettable quotes from Jody Day: “Grief is not an event. It's a skill.” “You're not needy. You have needs. You're human.” “We grieve that which we have loved.” “Grief is the emotion that allows us to let go of what was in order to embrace what's next.” “I look back at the woman who tried so hard and say: You didn't know more was available to you.” Whether you are early in your grief or further down the path, this episode will remind you that you are not alone, and that you still have the power to build a life you love. You are not too late. You are not alone. You may be childless, but your story still matters. This episode will remind you that healing is possible, connection is available, and the life ahead of you still holds meaning. Helpful links and resources:
Hello, and welcome to episode 166 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today's show about? My Interview with Jody Day. Update time! Intro: JODY DAY is the English/Irish founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women, and is often described as the founder of the ‘childless movement'. An author, two-times TEDx speaker, thought leader and psychotherapist, she's known for her best-selling Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children (PanMac 2016/2020) and increasingly for her popular Substack, ‘Gateway Elderwomen' which explores the adventure of elderhood without motherhood. Jody's been a World Childless Week Ambassador since its inception in 2017, and was chosen as one of the BBC's 100 Women in 2013 & as a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She was also a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children, and is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School. After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she's working on a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and developing her Gateway Elderwomen project. She is managed by a small white terrier called Parsnip. Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Are you still a part of AWOC? Working on a novel Substack—Gateway Elder Women ‘Women without children are that village'.--Jody Day We still pay taxes. Research links: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/ https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/ Christine Erickson's New Legacy Institute Gateway Woman is now The Childless Collective Mutual aid projects Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/ https://gateway-women.com/living-the-life-unexpected-2nd-edition-world-blogtour-1-19th-march-2020/ Special thank you to: Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women Jody Day's Contact Info: https://gateway-women.com/ website: www.gateway-women.com substack: https://jodyday.substack.com/ instagram @gatewaywomen & @apprenticecrone free download of intro & chapter 1 of Jody's book: bit.ly/free-ltlu FYI: Spotify now allows podcasters the ability to respond to listener comments. My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
This week in The Lounge I had the pleasure of chatting with Jody Day, the founder of Gateway Women and an advocate for childless women. She's an accomplished and incredibly poetic writer and I was lucky enough to get the scoop on the topic of her latest book, 'Living The Life Unexpected - How to find hope, meaning, and a fulfilling future without children.'Jody takes us on a profound journey through her life, sharing her experiences of navigating abortion, fertility challenges, marriage, and societal pressures as a childless woman. We delve into the societal implications of declining birth rates, pronatalism, and the value of individuals without children in our communities. Jody's insight and passion for creating support networks for aging without children will undoubtedly resonate with many of you and plant some thoughtful seeds in the rest. We also touch on the impact of technology on social and dating landscapes and the changing dynamics of relationships. With a focus on empowering women and fostering meaningful conversations, this episode offers valuable perspectives that challenge societal norms and celebrate the unique contributions of every individual. So let's lean in, listen closely, and explore the multi-dimensional journey of involuntary childlessness and aging with Jody.Link to the free download for the introduction and first chapter of Jody's book: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64469df1e916153dc771f013Check out her work and order Jody's book here: https://gateway-women.com/bookPlus you can expect all the usual antics and hilarious, vulnerable n' relatable personal stories and signature segments that you've come to know and love here in The Labia Lounge!Make sure you're subscribed for more LL action, and it'd absolutely warm my heart and tickle my clit if you'd leave a gushing review or five star rating for the poddy!*** Join my Labia Lounge Facebook group for extra content, Q & As, freebies from my guests, discounts and to be part of a rad and supportive community of labial legends! www.facebook.com/groups/thelabialounge/Get my FREE mini-course P*ssy Pleasure Secrets - Your Roadmap to Bedroom Bliss here: https://freya-graf.xperiencify.io/expiring-mini-course/order/Grab a P*ssy Magnet and check out the new Labia Lounge MERCH over here (there's even fanny packs if the standard tote bags and tees ain't cuttin' it for ya!): https://www.freyagraf.com/productsonline-trainingsAnd chuck me a follow here: https://www.instagram.com/freyagraf_thelabialounge/AND here: (my backup account cos I keep offending the Algorithms-that-be) https://www.instagram.com/freya.graf/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@freyagraf?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pcAnd on my YouTube channel here: https://youtu.be/LtyN8BQg-zkOr support me and the poddy by buying me an extra hot soy chai latte (yes, that is my coffee order cos I'm a bit of a tosser like that) here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/freyagrafOr at my Patreon here: https://patreon.com/freyagraf?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Join Pastor Reshea Lozano in this uplifting episode of The Gateway Women Podcast as she sits down with the incredible worship leader, songwriter, and devoted mom of two, Jessie Harris. Together, they delve into the profound significance of worshipping God and explore how it shapes and enriches our lives.
In this episode, Pastor Bridgette Morris sits down with Julie Mullins, Senior Pastor of Christ Fellowship Church, to delve into the art of handling conflict in a healthy way, both in your workplace and in all of your relationships. Join us as we explore practical insights for navigating difficult conversations and "finding the gold nuggets in the negative."
If you wanted children but weren't able to have them, you are tasked with making peace with a life you didn't choose. This grieving process occurs inside a culture that often has little respect for the childless. In this episode, Andrew speaks with psychotherapist Jody Day about grief, how ageing is different if you are not a parent, and how to find meaning, purpose and identity in what can feel like a very negative social context. Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women. She's the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to' book on the topic, Living the Life Unexpected: How to find hope, meaning and a fulfilling future without children. Jody was chosen as one of the BBC's 100 Women in 2013 & a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She is a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, a psychotherapist, a 2017 and 2022 TEDx speaker, a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children and a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School. Often referred to as the founder of the ‘childless movement' and less often, but more memorably as ‘the Beyonce of childlessness', she's been an Ambassador for World Childless Week since its inception in 2017. After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she's completing a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and nurturing her emerging Gateway Elderwomen project. Subscriber Content This Week If you're a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you'll be hearing: ⭐️ How to get your mojo back. ⭐️Three things Jody Day knows to be true. ⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees. Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall Details about Jody Day's book Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children can be found here and you can download the Introduction and Chapter 1 free, here. There is a live reading group for those working through the book in Jody's online community. Visit Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women. Follow Jody Day on Instagram and Twitter @gatewaywomen and on Facebook @GatewayWomenUK. You might also enjoy Andrew's interview with author Shani Silver A New Perspective on Being Single Get Andrew's advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
In this episode, Pastor Bridgette chats with Pastor Reshea Lozano, exploring the power of faith and God's guidance in navigating life's challenging transitions. Discover how Christianity can be a source of strength during changes in parenting, your marriage, and every aspect of life.
This week's podcast episode is full of uplifting conversation as Bridgette Morris sits down with talented young Christian influencer, Kirby Kelly. Together, they explore the importance of keeping God at the forefront of your life and not allowing others' perceptions to shape your identity.Kirby Kelly shares her personal journey and faith-based insights, shedding light on how she's managed to inspire countless individuals while staying grounded in her spirituality. Get ready for an engaging and empowering discussion that will leave you feeling inspired and motivated to put God first in your own life.Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share!
In today's episode we will discuss the value of policy engagement for people without children, and why it matters for our community. We will look at the historical and current influences pronatalism has on social policy, workplace leave policies and benefits, and public policy. We will also assess the ways in which pronatalist culture and policies impact the daily lives of people without children, and why we must organize for collective action now. Joining us for this conversation will be New Legacy Advisors, Nandita Bajaj, Executive Director of Population Balance, Jody Day, who is an expert in female childlessness, and founder of Gateway Women; Dr. Robin Hadley, who is an expert and researcher on male childlessness, and Therese Shechter, who is a childfree filmmaker, and founder of Trixie Films! Tune in to learn more about New Legacy Institute's purpose in advocating for policy change, and creating a social justice platform for people without children. We will also share how our community and allies can become part of the change we envision for our community and beyond!
Join the spirited and insightful conversation between JJ Barrows and Pastor Bridgette Morris, as they explore faith, humor, and finding God's joy in life's journey.In this special episode, Pastor Bridgette sits down with JJ Barrows, a talented Christian comedian known for her wit, humor, and genuine passion for Christ. With her unique style, JJ has a knack for finding humor in the everyday experiences, and she shares how her faith has been the driving force behind her comedic career.
“Childless women are sick of being exploited by mums in the office during the holiday” Those are the words of Journalist Claudia Connell in the Daily Mail this week. Jody Day psychotherapist, Author, and founder of Gateway Women joined Ciara on the show this morning.
“Childless women are sick of being exploited by mums in the office during the holiday” Those are the words of Journalist Claudia Connell in the Daily Mail this week. Jody Day psychotherapist, Author, and founder of Gateway Women joined Ciara on the show this morning.
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode of the podcast discusses sexual assault, trauma, and other sensitive topics. If this is not supportive to your healing journey at the moment, please check out one of our other episodes. As always, if you need prayer please text your prayer request to 71010 and someone at Gateway Church will pray with you. In this empowering episode of The Gateway Women podcast, join Pastor Bridgette Morris as she delves into the depths of faith and intimacy with a licensed Christian sex therapist Nancy Houston. Discover how to navigate the intricacies of relationships, unlock a deeper understanding of God's design for intimacy, and embrace a fulfilling and fulfilling intimate life within the boundaries of faith. Tune in to gain invaluable insights and practical guidance as we embark on a journey of vulnerability, growth, and spiritual connection.
This week on Family Policy Matters, Host Traci DeVette Griggs welcomes Wendy Bonano and Melinda Delahoyde from Gateway Women's Care to discuss the many ways that pregnancy resource centers support the pro-life movement. Gateway has three locations across the Triangle, and offers a variety of free and confidential pregnancy and sexual health services. This episode is a part of a series highlighting the pro-life movement in North Carolina. Tune in each week to learn more!
Join us in this special episode as Pastor James and Bridgette Morris sit down with Pastor Robert and Debbie Morris, a couple deeply rooted in their faith, as they share their wisdom and experiences on cultivating a godly marriage through respecting one another's gifts and differences.
In this episode, Bridgette Morris sits down with author and licensed counselor Rachael Gilbert to discuss a topic that affects women of all ages and backgrounds: body image. Tune in to join the conversation and be inspired to embrace your true God-given beauty, inside and out. Buy Rachael Gilbert's new book, "Image Restored:" https://amzn.to/3Gi3nx9
In this episode of The Worst Girl Gang Ever, hosts Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham sit down with Jody Day, the founder of Gateway Women. Having helped millions of women worldwide come to terms with involuntary childlessness, Jody shares her journey towards finding power in being infertile. She emphasises the importance of being gentle with yourself and dealing with the void left in your life after accepting childlessness. This episode they discuss the process of grief and identity transformation, the backlash against women who choose not to have children, and the power of mindfulness and gratitude in self-care when dealing with the inability to conceive a child. In this episode you will hear: Why Jody started Gateway Women How Jody has dealt with the grief of being childless Why grief is a process of identity transformation The power of mindfulness and gratitude in self care To find out more about Gateway Women head to https://gateway-women.com/ For more information about this episode head to https://theworstgirlgangever.co.uk/warriorship/ The Worst Girl Gang Ever is a real, honest emotive podcast that covers the heartbreaking subject of miscarriage, infertility and baby loss, expect honest conversations about unspoken experiences. Hosted by TWGGE founders Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham, this show is a chance to break the silence and really open up the dialogue around the topic of miscarriage and pregnancy loss. No more shame, no more taboo - let's ditch that for our children; the ones that will come, the ones that are and the ones that never came to be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On International Women's Day, join us for this wide-ranging discussion with Jody Day. Whether mothers or not, we are women first, and that's the message IWD needs to get behind. We discuss the dark underbelly of the media & its roots in the ‘shadow' archetype of the mother, and how the first place change needs to take place is in our own minds, by awakening to the seductive & corrosive power of pronatalism and how it limits the visions, lives & futures of all women (which is exactly what it's meant to do!) Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship, support & advocacy network she set up by accident after starting a blog sharing honestly the truth of her childlessness in 2011. It got media attention the day after the very first blog was published. Not long after, she was interviewed for The Guardian newspaper (UK) for a piece that went viral & is still being read today. She has often been referred to as 'the voice of the childless generation' Her compassionate and sometimes humorous take on all things childless-related is one that many have come to rely on. Jody has written & spoken often of the fetishization of motherhood, whilst devaluing non-motherhood to the detriment of all women. Another example of this is International Women's Day, which has increasingly come to be seen as yet another day in the year to 'celebrate motherhood'. Thus entirely neglecting the role that non-mothers play in the world, and further reducing women's social contributions to their reproductive status.
Join Bridgette Morris as she has an authentic conversation with Lisa Harper LIVE at Pink Impact 2023!
Join Bridgette Morris as she chats with Chrystal Evans Hurst AT PINK IMPACT 2023!!
In today's episode we will discuss the value of policy engagement for people without children, and why it matters for our community. We will look at the historical and current influences pronatalism has on social policy, workplace leave policies and benefits, and public policy. We will also assess the ways in which pronatalist culture and policies impact the daily lives of people without children, and why we must organize for collective action now. Joining us for this conversation will be New Legacy Advisors, Nandita Bajaj, Executive Director of Population Balance, Jody Day, who is an expert in female childlessness, and founder of Gateway Women; Dr. Robin Hadley, who is an expert and researcher on male childlessness, and Therese Shechter, who is a childfree filmmaker, and founder of Trixie Films! Tune in to learn more about New Legacy Institute's purpose in advocating for policy change, and creating a social justice platform for people without children. We will also share how our community and allies can become part of the change we envision for our community and beyond!
Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 147 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today's show about? My conversation with Yvonne John–Author of Dreaming of a Life Unlived, Speaker, and advocate for the Childless not by Choice community. But first… Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Today's guest has visited us before. Tune into episode 103, link in the show notes to hear our first conversation. I Invited her back because she has done quite a bit since our last conversation. Check out her website, www.findingmyplanb.com, to see what I mean. And we will be talking about some of the things today. I can't wait. Hi Yvonne… Talk about the blogs on The Agojie People portrayed in The Woman King and the blog on Annie Turnbo Malone. I actually went straight to the Annie Turnbo Malone post because, well there is a lot of history, most of it negative, unfortunately, about black hair. I did not know she developed and patented the straightening comb! Your blogs are very informative Yvonne! Before we get started, can you tell us about the photo project you were a part of, and if there is a link or website we can go to? Tell us about your role or contribution to The Gateway Women's Reignite weekend workshops. And you are training to be a therapist. Do you have a certain topic in mind will it be geared to childless not by choice? And Ted (Talk) tell us about Ted now that you've put the word out. I'll also be taking part in the WhittyGordon Projects 'Edge Of Visibility' Film - The film is about changing the narrative about women over 50 as being past it and recognising and shining light on strong women who are embracing the next phase of their lives in a way that is individual, creative and unapologetic. I know you said you would be doing a Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness' session about on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood, is that done or is it upcoming? Thank you for all you do in the childless not by choice community, and in particular for the women of color in the childless not by choice community. Any final words for the listeners before we go? Yvonne's Contact Information: https://findingmyplanb.com Articles/links of interest: http://www.whittygordon.com/ Talk by Yvonne John at Melanie Stidolph's solo exhibition ‘As it is seen.' https://melaniestidolph.com/ Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness' session about/on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood Interview by Lauren McMenemy from Minds@Work on being CNBC and how that impacts mental health at work Watch Yvonne in conversation with Lauren McMenemy here: https://youtu.be/--t1zrteCZY My first conversation with Yvonne John: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-103-childlessness-is-not-an-illness-3/ Remember the conversation about the photographer at the beginning of the episode? Here's the link to his website: https://www.cephaswilliams.com/ Sarah Baartman images: http://bit.ly/3VQNhR9 Triggers episode: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about David Richo: https://davericho.com/books/ As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about Richard Rohr: https://store.cac.org/collections/richard-rohr?_=pf&display=list&gclid=Cj0KCQiA45qdBhD-ARIsAOHbVdG-lzau4TsDX2DH-JKi_QHLI9trYICuGe6jd6QLAVir7gThA0JKAboaAr5eEALw_wcB Quote: ‘If you do not share your story, you will show your story.'--Richard Rohr. Special thank you to: Yvonne John My Patrons My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
Excluded from policy measures and absent in DEI frameworks, even where laws and policies are designed to prevent discrimination based on family status, pronatalism is so deeply engrained in our social, professional and systemic psyches, that its impact remains unacknowledged. As a result, non-parents remain invisible, while navigating daily and life-long experiences of exclusion and inequity. From our own internalized patriarchal, pronatalist influences, to the ways we continue to cope and mitigate social and professional spaces that do not account for us, it can be challenging for people without children to express why the urgency to dismantle pronatalism matters. How do we begin to unravel the embedded layers of cultural, structural and systemic norms that continue to re-enforce the social devaluation of approximately one quarter of the global population? What is needed to acknowledge the population that is, rather than the one that is theorized, based on marriage and children, to create measurable predictability, as economic units? Join us for a revealing, in-depth conversation with Jody Day. We will explore new perspectives around the question of why the deeply adverse impact of pronatalism matters and why the inclusion of non-parents remains a silent issue within the workplace & beyond.
Join Bridgette Morris as she has a chat with the fabulous, zany storyteller, author, and speaker, Lisa Harper! Be sure to follow us on social media for more fun stuff like this! Instagram: https://bit.ly/3Wsgu5i Facebook: https://bit.ly/3NupHpF Twitter: https://bit.ly/3FDiyS4 Keep up with Lisa Harper at her website: https://lisaharper.org/
Excluded from policy measures and absent in DEI frameworks, even where laws and policies are designed to prevent discrimination based on family status, pronatalism is so deeply engrained in our social, professional and systemic psyches, that its impact remains unacknowledged. As a result, non-parents remain invisible, while navigating daily and life-long experiences of exclusion and inequity. From our own internalized patriarchal, pronatalist influences, to the ways we continue to cope and mitigate social and professional spaces that do not account for us, it can be challenging for people without children to express why the urgency to dismantle pronatalism matters. How do we begin to unravel the embedded layers of cultural, structural and systemic norms that continue to re-enforce the social devaluation of approximately one quarter of the global population? What is needed to acknowledge the population that is, rather than the one that is theorized, based on marriage and children, to create measurable predictability, as economic units? Join us for a revealing, in-depth conversation with Jody Day. We will explore new perspectives around the question of why the deeply adverse impact of pronatalism matters and why the inclusion of non-parents remains a silent issue within the workplace & beyond.
The menstruality journey begins at menarche with our first bleed, and ends as we go through the great initiation of menopause. For some, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are a key part of their menstruating years, but for some people, parenting doesn't happen, despite a deep desire to have children.It's World Childless Week this week, and we've invited the brilliant Jody Day to share about the challenges of involuntary childlessness, her work to honour and dignify childless women, and explore how to how to find meaning and hope when looking towards a future without children. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the support & advocacy network for childless women. She's a psychotherapist, a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, and the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to' book on the topic, ‘Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children'.In the conversation we explore:Jody's personal journey through grief, denial, hopelessness to real acceptance of her life as a childless woman. The creation of Gateway Women and Jody's mission to make the world understand childless women, and help women who are childless-not-by-choice to understand themselves. Jody's emerging Gateway Elderwomen project, exploring the uncharted path to becoming a conscious childless elder woman.---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email info@redschool.net---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.schoolJody Day: @gatewaywomen - https://www.instagram.com/gatewaywomen
Living a life unexpected. Ellen and Yvette chat with Jody Day, Psychotherapist, Author of Living The Life Unexpected, and Founder of Gateway Women, a network for childless women. They talk about infertility, mental health issues, and World Childless Week, which aims to raise awareness of the childless not by choice community. Follow Mentally Yours on social media... www.twitter.com/mentallyyrs Join our private Facebook group... www.facebook.com/groups/135088803805742 And find out about World Childless Week online... www.worldchildlessweek.net
Gateway Women founder Jody Day on the false divide that separates 'childless' women who can't have kids, from 'childfree' women who don't want to be mothers. In the episode we discuss: -The roots of the false binary that divides the ones who “can't have kids” and the ones who “don't want kids” -The role of pronatalism in this divide, which is the ideology that says that parents are more important than non-parents-The concept of being “childless by circumstance” – versus being childless by choice or due to infertility-How Jody came up with the word “NoMo” (from not-mother) to describe any and all women without kids-The “disenfranchised grief” of childlessness – and grief, like love, being a process of identity transformation-The role of empathy and consciousness raising in overcoming judgement, stigma, and shame-How women without kids from across the spectrum of non-motherhood can come together and support each other-The primal roots of our fear and loathing of women without kids, and how this plays out in society today-Why the notion that we need more new people to support the aging population is an example of ageism – and why the solution lies in changes to current economic policies-Why the “othering” of women without kids is linked to all other forms of prejudice under white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchy-Jody's “Conscious Childless Elderwoman”projectLearn more about Gateway Women HERE and follow Jody on Instagram @gatewaywomen.Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood is out March 2023. Pre-order your copy HERE.
The recent Dobbs decision has informed many of our conversations over the past few months. How should the church respond? In this month's edition of Work Matters we interview three members of our local community who have dedicated their lives to serving mothers, fathers, and babies in bringing holistic support to those considering an abortion. Watch and listen as Cindy Kouhout (Executive Director of Pregnancy Support Services), Lans Jones (Director of Education for Relationships ED, PSS) and Wendy Bonano (Executive Director of Gateway Women's Care) share about their calling, the challenges their organizations and the pro-life movement face, and how CHBC can help care for the unborn and for their fathers and mothers.
The recent Dobbs decision has informed many of our conversations over the past few months. How should the church respond? In this month's edition of Work Matters we interview three members of our local community who have dedicated their lives to serving mothers, fathers, and babies in bringing holistic support to those considering an abortion. Watch and listen as Cindy Kouhout (Executive Director of Pregnancy Support Services), Lans Jones (Director of Education for Relationships ED, PSS) and Wendy Bonano (Executive Director of Gateway Women's Care) share about their calling, the challenges their organizations and the pro-life movement face, and how CHBC can help care for the unborn and for their fathers and mothers.
Having a pastor for a spouse comes with lots of nuanced pressures and challenges. Add in leading Gateway Women, one of the largest women's ministries in the US, and being a mother of three young kids, and you have Bridgette Morris. One of her secrets is not allowing herself to feel the pressure. "I could let it bother me," she says. "But I just don't."On this episode of the Women in Ministry Leadership podcast, hosts Rhonda Davis and Julie Cole talk with Bridgette about how she balances ministry and family life, what she says yes to, and more importantly, when she says no.
Known as the Patron Saint of the childless community, Jody Day is a force to be reckoned with. With one book under her belt, a massive, global community of childless women in Gateway Women, a TED Talk, and a nature that is both energising and soothing, Jody is entering, as she calls it, her elderhood. In this episode, I talk to Jody about her experiences as a childless woman, and her plans for her future and the future of advocating for childless women.Sign up to our newsletter over on our website: http://www.unripecommunity.com.auFacebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/unripecommunity Private Group: @unripecommunitygroup - https://www.facebook.com/groups/unripecommunitygroupInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/unripecommunityPlease share and leave us a review on your favourite podcast app including: iTunes and SpotifyJoin the Gateway Women Community: http://www.gateway-women.com/Sound engineering and original music by Jeff Willis. You can find his tunes on Spotify and iTunes
Learn how God can help you tackle the "Iron Man" in your life with Bridgette Morris and Chelsea Seaton!
Sadness happens to all of us, but in much of the world we don't know how to handle it. Let alone talk about it. Having spent 10 years researching into happiness worldwide as a journalist and author, I began to notice that many of the people I met were so obsessed with the pursuit of happiness that they were phobic of feeling sad. As was I. So why are we so bad at ‘sad'? How is there still shame around expressing vulnerability? And are there some any ‘good' things about being sad? I couldn't find anywhere people were having these kinds of conversations - so I started my own. Each episode, I'm joined by a special guest sharing their own experiences of how to be sad, well with insightful and surprisingly uplifting stories of lives lived. Here are some of the highlights so far, ahead of series five, launching next week: - From S3E8 with Kate Bowler, NYT bestselling author and Duke history professor on being diagnosed with colon cancer at just 35 years old, navigating life with the knowledge it could end any moment, ‘emotional tourism', bucket lists and why Kate won't be making one. TW: cancer - From S1E7 with Yomi Adegoke, award-winning journalist and bestselling co-author of Slay In Your Lane: The Black Girl Bible on how being sad and expressing grief can be political and the perils of performing our emotions online. - From S4E1 with Emily Dean, author of Everyone Died So I Got A Dog, radio presenter and podcaster on family roles and the different pressures these bring. - From S4E2 where bestselling author Mitch Albom shares a little known story about how the bestseller Tuesdays With Morrie came about. - From S3E5 with Dr Julie Smith, clinical psychologist and former NHS turned TikTok star and author of Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? on what happens when we push emotions away, how the stakes get higher the longer we stay in ‘the trap', and what we should be doing instead. - From S2E5 with Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, the global support network for childless women on unhelpful cultural ideas around not having children, disenfranchised grief and how to heal it. TW: grief, childlessness not by choice, IVF - From S4E1 with Emily Dean, on how to support someone who's grieving. TW: sibling bereavement - From S1E4 with Mo Gawdat, Solve For Happy author, tech entrepreneur and former chief business officer for Google X on how life is like a video game (and this is A Good Thing). TW: losing a child - From S4E2 Mitch Albom on the pain of losing his daughter and the impact this had on his marriage. Plus why happiness isn't a guarantee: it's a gift that can help us to be sad, better. TW: losing a child You can find all the books we talk about on the How To Be Sad podcast recommends page at Bookshop.org where you can also find the book, How To Be Sad, now in paperback. Keep in touch @MsHelenRussell and subscribe to join us next time. Because remember: we're all in this together.
My guest Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship support and advocacy network for childless women with a social reach of about 2 million people. Jody came in to talk to me about the implications of diversity and inclusion in the workplace for non-parents.You can boost company productivity, avoid PR disasters, and build a thriving workplace that attracts the best talent by watching our webinar!
Excluded from policy measures and absent in DEI frameworks, even where laws and policies are designed to prevent discrimination based on family status, pronatalism is so deeply engrained in our social, professional and systemic psyches, that its impact remains unacknowledged. As a result, non-parents remain invisible, while navigating daily and life-long experiences of exclusion and inequity. From our own internalized patriarchal, pronatalist influences, to the ways we continue to cope and mitigate social and professional spaces that do not account for us, it can be challenging for people without children to express why the urgency to dismantle pronatalism matters. How do we begin to unravel the embedded layers of cultural, structural and systemic norms that continue to re-enforce the social devaluation of approximately one quarter of the global population? What is needed to acknowledge the population that is, rather than the one that is theorized, based on marriage and children, to create measurable predictability, as economic units? Join us for a revealing, in-depth conversation with Jody Day. We will explore new perspectives around the question of why the deeply adverse impact of pronatalism matters and why the inclusion of non-parents remains a silent issue within the workplace & beyond.
There is so much systemic prejudice towards childless women ingrained in our society today that stem from ancient patriarchal and pronatalist views and government policy. Most of us don't even realize the extent. I didn't realize it and received a bit of an awakening right on the show. Jody Day, the "mother" of the childless woman movement, joined me on this episode to share her story and why she started Gateway Women. Her own need for community and support led to a network for childless women, a book, two Tedx talks and countless other accomplishments in the childless space. Have a listen as we discuss:the disenfranchised grief we feel as women who are childless by circumstancethe level of shame we pick up from our pronatalist societywhy the patriarchal template for life and career doesn't work for womenShow notes: sherijohnson.ca/67/Take the Worthiness Quiz and find out whether your own self-worth is holding you back from embracing your childless life!
In this week's episode of Spinsterhood Reimagined, I talk to the founder of Gateway Women, Jody Day. Gateway Women is an amazing global friendship, support and advocacy network for childless women which was founded in the UK in 2011 and is now headquartered in Ireland. Jody is also the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to' book on the topic of childlessness, ‘Living The Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Life Without Children'.In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Jody talks about: her difficult childhood and how her early experiences resulted in her initially not wanting to have children; her abortion when she was twenty; and her marriage in her early twenties which ultimately ended due to reasons including the strain of her infertility, as well as her ex-husband's problems with addiction. We also talk about how Jody's continued desperation to have a baby following the breakdown of her marriage found her in an abusive relationship; the period in her mid-forties when she hit rock bottom as the realisation that she would not have children became apparent; and the profound grief and despair she went through as she struggled to come to terms with the loss of the baby she never had, and the life she thought she would be living.The conversation includes Jody's thoughts on the concept of ‘disenfranchised grief' and the sometimes dismissive reactions of those around her; how her own grief manifested in her withdrawal from the world, and her total loss of joy in all the things she used to love, including reading; and how she felt like ‘social plankton' as a single, childless woman in her forties. Jody also touches on the point at which she realised there would be an end to her pain as she started to understand that grief was a process which she would eventually come through to the other side of; the concept of social infertility, a term coined by the World Health Organisation, and being 'childless by circumstance'; and how, actually, childless women are a potential threat to a patriarchal society. And finally, Jody shares how she has ultimately found peace with not having children, and how much she can now appreciate the freedom and possibility of being childless.I sincerely hope that you all enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it.Jody can be found on Instagram: @gatewaywomen. She can also be found on Twitter: @gatewaywomen. Gateway Women Website: https://gateway-women.com/ UK Link to Jody's book, Living The Life Unexpected: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Life-Unexpected-fulfilling-children/dp/1529036135/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=US Link to Jody's book, Living The Life Unexpected: https://www.amazon.com/Living-Life-Unexpected-Meaningful-Fulfilling/dp/1529036135/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ACM5QVEFRT6X&keywords=living+the+life+unexpected&qid=1653648611&sprefix=living+the+life+unexpecte%2Caps%2C222&sr=8-1Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=shareFollow me on Instagram: @spinsterhoodreimaginedFollow me on Twitter: @LucyMeggesonEmail me: lucymeggeson@gmail.com
Join Bridgette Morris as she interviews Kadi Cole LIVE at Pink Impact! They chat about thriving in your calling while walking with the Lord.
Join Bridgette Morris as she interviews Alex Seeley LIVE at Pink Impact! They chat about life, balancing your callings, and living your purpose.
Taped LIVE at Pink Impact - hear from Bridgette Morris and Hosanna Wong about picking your battles for the Lord.
In Episode 38, we were reunited with Sarah who was recovering from Covid, and Stella Duffy OBE joined us. It's fair to say that when we asked Stella to be a guest and she said 'yes' we were thrilled, as admirers of her work. You'll also see Stella in Gateway Women's videos. Where does anyone start with describing the work and joy that Stella brings to theatre, yoga, mentoring, literature and life? As you'll find out, we struggled to find the words! There's a lesson right there - ask the guest to describe what they do in their own words! "There is huge power in grief, power in understanding what loss is like but as well as being pronatal and heteronormative, our culture is 'let's be happy' and to never admit that things are hard sometimes." Stella Duffy, OBE It's a very passionate episode as we discuss worth, loss and life-changing experiences, but there are some moments of profound discovery. There are tears and lots of laughter too. As with all podcast guests, we wanted Stella to join us in person for a party and a book reading too - but we'll have to wait a bit longer for that in this ever-changing world. We do hope you'll love this episode as much as we loved recording; it felt extra special for us for so many reasons, as you'll hear.
Nicola is a journalist, writer and public speaker. She's worked in news at the Guardian and at Huffpost. While at HuffPost, Nicola wrote a personal essay about being the only single one in her friendship group and it went viral. Nicola then went on to create of my favourite newsletters, The Single Supplement, which is about the highs and lows of single life. In this episode, Nicola shares her experience of being single and wanting to be a mother. Nicola's newsletter, The Single Supplement: https://thesinglesupplement.substack.com/Nicola's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicola_slawson/?hl=enUnattached: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Unattached-Essays-Singlehood-Angelica-Malin/dp/1529110394/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=Stork and I: https://thestorkandi.com/Gateway Women: https://gateway-women.com/Ambiguous Grief: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/06/how-be-okay-being-single/590854/Social Infertility and mother's day: https://inews.co.uk/opinion/single-women-motherhood-mothers-day-social-infertility-410352Nicola's Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesinglesupplementFacebook group for people who are solo mums or considering it: https://www.facebook.com/groups/190410894999092Buy Tiffany Philippou's book, Totally Fine (and other lies I've told myself) Amazon anywhere in the world: https://buff.ly/3FpHKZaOther retailers in the UK: https://www.tiffanyphilippou.com/book Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jody Day is the Founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship, support and advocacy network. Described as the Beyonce of childlessness, Jody's Ted Talk “The Lost tribe of childless women” has been viewed almost 170,000 times. Her book “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future without children” is what many professionals consider the ‘go-to' book on this topic.In this chat, we explore a range of topics including social infertility, the power of community and how grief can be a transformative experience with the right support. If you would like to learn about Gateway Women, then you gateway-women.com – all the details are in the show notes. And they have a range of workshops, talks and resources, which are really worth checking out.
Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship, support & advocacy network she set up by accident after starting a blog sharing honestly the truth of her childlessness in 2011. It got media attention the day after the very first blog was published. Not long after, she was interviewed for The Guardian newspaper (UK) for a piece that went viral & is still being read today. She has often been referred to as 'the voice of the childless generation' Her compassionate, inclusive, incisive and sometimes humorous take on all things childless-related is one that many have come to rely on. Jody has written & spoken often of the fetishization of motherhood, whilst devaluing non-motherhood to the detriment of all women. Another example of this is International Women's Day, which has increasingly come to be seen as yet another day in the year to 'celebrate motherhood'. Thus entirely neglecting the role that non-mothers play in the world, and further reducing women's social contributions to their reproductive status. Join us for a fascinating & wide-ranging discussion about the dark underbelly of the media & its roots in the ‘shadow' archetype of the mother. The first place change needs to take place is in our own minds by awakening to the seductive & corrosive power of pronatalism and how it limits the visions, lives & futures of all women (which is exactly what it's meant to do!)
We invited Jody Day, the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship, support & advocacy network for childless women (est. 2011), and author of ‘Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children,' to come and have a chat with us about childlessness and childfreedom. She shared many insights and interesting thoughts with us and our audience, so we hope you enjoy our last episode of 2021 as much as we did! If you'd like to know more about Jody and about Gateway Women, you can visit the following links: www.gateway-women.com Twitter @gatewaywomen Instagram @gatewaywomen Instagram @ApprenticeCrone Facebook: @gatewaywomenuk Linked-In @jodyday --- LeNora's Childfree Morning Chats on Clubhouse happen five days a week (mon-fri) at 10 AM Eastern Time on Childfree Club (co-founded by the Childfree Girls). You can join Childfree Club by clicking here: https://www.clubhouse.com/club/childfree-club It's totally free, so come and join us! --- You can also watch our show on YouTube! Search for Childfree Girls to watch the full episode! Remember to send us an email to childfreegirls@gmail.com if you want to get in touch with us because you have a question, a comment, a suggestion... anything you can think of, we WANT TO KNOW! Follow us on our social media accounts: http://www.facebook.com/childfreegirls http://www.instagram.com/childfreegirls http://www.youtube.com/c/childfreegirls http://www.twitter.com/childfreegirls
This week's show is with Jody Day. Jody, known as the ‘voice of the childless generation' and less often but more memorably as ‘The Beyonce of childlessness', is a 57-year-old psychotherapist, an author and the founder of Gateway Women (GW). Gateway Women is a global friendship and support network for childless women established since 2011 which have been featured have been featured regularly in the UK press and internationally such as France, Spain, Italy, Canada, Australia and NZ. She is the author of the famous book ‘Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children' which just released a fully updated 2nd ed. last year, published by Bluebird/PanMacmillan UK and with 50 prestigious endorsements including The British Medical Journal. Aside from being a TEDx speaker, a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness and a social entrepreneur, Jody was chosen by the BBC to be one of 100 Women to celebrate 100 Years of Feminism. She is a founding and former board member at Ageing Well Without Children, a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School, a World Childless Week Ambassador and also a PLICA (Australia) Ambassador. This year, Jody she was chosen as one of Digital Women's 40 Women to Watch and was nominated by the UK organisation Digital Women as a finalist as a ‘Digital Role Models'. A life-long Londoner, she is now a ‘blow-in' in rural Ireland where she is working on a novel and her new Conscious Childless Elderwomen project for Gateway Women. In this show, Jody and Lian spoke about the archetype of the childfree and childless woman, why this archetype is so dismissed and demonised, the hidden Feminine power held there that's actually available to all women - and is the medicine the planet needs right now. I'd love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let's carry on the conversation… please leave a comment below. What you'll learn from this episode: Jody's explanation of grief of the childless woman and how unseen it is, really hit me - grief is a potent alchemical force, already so misunderstood in our culture, and even more in this area - and one that affects so many in our world. The archetype of the childless or childfree woman is so often seen only through the lens of the shadow, when we look at the light aspects of her, we see an incredible power that can be reclaimed for her good but also for the good of all of us - this is wisdom, love, energy that is so needed right now. I so agree with Jody that it's our lack of understanding and fear of differences that are at the heart of so many of the issues in our culture - with love and willingness to understand the experiences of others that we can begin to bridge that gap. Resources and stuff that we spoke about: Gateway Women Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children Jody Day's social media account you might want to check out Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn Thank you for listening! There's fresh episode each week, if you subscribe then you'll get each new episode delivered to your phone every Tuesday (that way you'll never miss an episode): Subscribe on Apple Podcasts/iTunes Subscribe on Android Thank you! Lian & Jonathan
Childlessness can be a black cloud for people approaching menopause and you'll notice it has been missing from this podcast. There's a reason for that. It's because, up until now, I had no idea how to talk about it (and I'm childless!) So can you imagine how people WITH children must feel? We skirt around the edges or worse still unconsciously insult and shame childless people with 'bingos' like 'oh well, you could always adopt'. Not many of us have the vocabulary to talk about childlessness empathetically, because we have been marinaded in something called Pronatalism (which you will learn about in today's episode). Jody Day is an insightful philosopher and the founder of Gateway Women, a global community of over 2 million, supporting involuntary childless women through their grief. In this episode we cover:➡️ Being childless at Christmas➡️ Childlessness and childfree as a spectrum ➡️ Disenfranchised grief➡️ The healing power of grief➡️ Having a language to describe your experience➡️ Unconscious bias towards parenting (pronatalism)➡️ Dismantling the stereotypes of childlessness women (Cruella De Ville)➡️ Yearning for motherhood as a last ditch attempt to feel normal➡️ Reclaiming the childless life (or not)➡️ The fetishization of motherhood➡️ The cultural fear of childless women (the deviant)➡️ Ageing without childrenWhether you are childless, childfree or a mother, you will get something profoundly different in this episode. I really hope you dive into the rabbit hole with us - it's life changing.Jody's Links:https://gateway-women.com/https://www.instagram.com/gatewaywomen/https://www.facebook.com/GatewayWomenUK
In this 2-part episode I speak with Yvonne - a British author and activist for Childless women of colour. She wrote her book out of the anger she and the other childless women felt, who were not being heard or listened to by the circles they found themselves in. ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children', was conceived out of love and understanding and born to give women like her the permission to unashamedly own their stories. Yvonne is a leading voice for women of colour's experience around infertility, as well as an advocate for creating an inclusive space for black women and women of colour to openly talk about their childless journey. While our journeys are not the same, I had so many takeaways from unpacking the infertility & childless experience with Yvonne and I honestly felt like a daughter listening to her mother's life experiences and the lessons from all of it. Not to mention that it also felt like looking in the mirror both of us; black women with short, coloured hair, big smiles, big personalities, a bit unconventional… infertility aside, I felt so seen and affirmed by your spirit Yvonne – that it's okay to be misunderstood especially culturally because authenticity is everything. For anyone who is childless and wondering where to find support, Yvonne is a licensed facilitator of a global network for childless women called Gateway Women. And her book is available on Amazon. You can connect with her on Instagram @y.vonnej or via her website.
In this 2-part episode I speak with Yvonne - a British author and activist for Childless women of colour. She wrote her book out of the anger she and the other childless women felt, who were not being heard or listened to by the circles they found themselves in. ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children', was conceived out of love and understanding and born to give women like her the permission to unashamedly own their stories. Yvonne is a leading voice for women of colour's experience around infertility, as well as an advocate for creating an inclusive space for black women and women of colour to openly talk about their childless journey. While our journeys are not the same, I had so many takeaways from unpacking the infertility & childless experience with Yvonne and I honestly felt like a daughter listening to her mother's life experiences and the lessons from all of it. Not to mention that it also felt like looking in the mirror both of us; black women with short, coloured hair, big smiles, big personalities, a bit unconventional… infertility aside, I felt so seen and affirmed by your spirit Yvonne – that it's okay to be misunderstood especially culturally because authenticity is everything. For anyone who is childless and wondering where to find support, Yvonne is a licensed facilitator of a global network for childless women called Gateway Women. And her book is available on Amazon. You can connect with her on Instagram @y.vonnej or via her website.
In this episode 178 of the podcast I bring you a fantastic interview with Karin, Sophia and Lindsay from Gateway Women an organisation who support childless women. To quote from the podcast interview “Women in the workplace who are childless is the biggest diversity issue that HR have not heard of” and hopefully in this episode we can educate employers and HR about the issue so that at the very least awareness is raised about this issue that is affecting more and more women. In this episode of the podcast we cover: The importance of being aware of childless women in the workplace in your equality, diversity and inclusion policies and planning. The importance of applying policies in the workplace in a fair and reasonable way regardless of parental status. Why you should consider implementing a specific policy in regards to childless employees. Why you should ensure you apply flexible working policies fairly. Why employers should consider flexibility across the business and the benefits this can bring to productivity and staff morale. Some of the issues that can arise in the workplace for women who are childless. The starting point of training and awareness for HR, managers and Employers. Small changes that can be made to increase inclusion. That 20%-30% of working women in the western world are childless. The benefits of implementing changes in your business to increase inclusivity for childless women. A great practical example of what you can do from Brewdog – Pawternity Leave for employees who have a new dog. https://www.brewdog.com/blog/dog-days Sophia Karin Enfield, Operations Director Gateway Women – karin@gateway-women.com gateway-women.com I will be focusing on equality, diversion and inclusion issues that are not covered by the Equality Act in future podcast episodes so if you have any ideas or would like to be a guest on the podcast in future to cover any topics please get in touch alison@realemploymentlawadvice.co.uk Fixed Price Advice from Real Experts As part of our HR Harbour annual subscription service for employers we provide guidance and training for employers, supervisors and managers. If you would like to know more about the HR Harbour Service and how you can get unlimited support from as little as £210 per month please contact me for a no obligation discussion – alison@realemploymentlawadvice.co.uk or you can find full details here: HR Harbour Don't forget you can contact us by telephone 01983 897003, 01722 653001, 020 3470 0007, 0191 375 9694 or 023 8098 2006 We have a variety of free documents and letters which are available to download here: DIY Documents We are also on YouTube! You can find a range of topics and also listen to this podcast on YouTube here: YOUTUBE The information contained in this Podcast and post is provided for guidance and is a snapshot of the law at the time. It is provided for your information only and should not be used as a substitute for obtaining legal advice that it specific to your particular circumstances. The guidance should not be relied upon in any decision making process. It is strongly recommended that you seek advice before taking action.
There are so many topics and life experiences for women that have been silenced by society, including being childless not by choice. Which is something Jody Day is on a mission to change. As the founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship and support network for childless women, she is a voice for so many who are facing a reality they never expected in life. Jody's own life has followed an unexpected path as well. From ending a pregnancy when she was 20, to struggling to conceive years later, to watching her marriage end, to eventually coming to the realization at 44 that she would never be a mother, none of it went according to plan. And all the while she came to this childless acceptance she faced another unexpected part of life--grief. Known as the "voice of the childless generation" and the author of Living The Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children, Jody works with women every day to help them accept and process their grief in order to keep going in their own unexpected lives. Links: IG: @laurabbehnke @thelifeactuallypodcast Website: laurabehnke.com FREE Guide and Workbook: Dating, Actually: The Anti-Dating-Guide Dating Guide Guest Links: IG: @gatewaywomen Facebook: @gatewaywomenuk Twitter: @gatewaywomen Website: gateway-women.com Book: Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children
Women without children walk the road less traveled—and for the vast majority of them, this path was not of their choosing. In fact, of the women who reach midlife without children, only 10% planned to be “child free”, while 10% are childless due to infertility, and a full 80% are childless not by choice but rather, due to circumstances. Jody Day of Gateway Women shares her personal journey and discusses the many layers of disenfranchised grief surrounding childlessness. Specifically, we cover. · Second wave feminism and the unintended consequence of circumstantial childlessness. · The emotional, physical, and financial complexities of IVF—the real stats. · Jody's thoughts on how to respond to the, “Oh, you would have made such a great mom!” comments. · When the term “biological clock” first appeared in the discourse. · The pain of “not being chosen” for partnership along with the “not being chosen” to be someone's mother. · Grieving the loss of the “identity” of mother. · How to “reclaim our worthiness” and find our place as women without children. · The fetishism of motherhood. · Societal and policy concerns surrounding childless women. The pain is real, but it's a disenfranchised sorrow—how do you grieve the loss of something you never had? Join us for an empathic, supportive conversation and be sure to participate in World Childless Week's virtual summit September 13 – 19, 2021. Click here to get a free chapter from Jody's book - Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children More info on Jody's book here: http://www.gateway-women.com/book Sponsor: Millionaire Match Download the free app here: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943 Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We hope you enjoy this exclusive one on one time with Pastor Debbie Morris as we take a look at the past 20 years of her leadership in the Gateway Women's Ministry, Pink Impact, and a whole lot more!
This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm talking to the Executive Pastor of Adult Ministries at Gateway Church, Bridgette Morris. She and her husband, James, have been married for 12 years. They have three beautiful kids, two boys, and a girl, who keep them on their toes but are always good for a snuggle. She loves the outdoors and can often be found with her hands in the dirt, tending her garden, or working on a project. Bridgette has been part of Gateway Church since 2008, serving in various ministries and creative areas, including Gateway Worship as a vocalist and worship pastor, and Gateway Performing Arts. She loves living out her passion to see women fully equipped to walk out the calling God has placed on their lives. Key Points from Our Conversation: We have to let go of the perception that everyone else is killing it. No one is "doing it all". You can do everything, but not at the same time. Be mindful, purposeful, and intentional with what you're doing. We have a lot of responsibilities, authority, and opportunities to do a lot of things, but we need to realize that for one thing to thrive, another thing will suffer. It's time to let go of perfectionism. Some things won't get 100% of you. It might be time to consider what you can outsource. There will be other seasons where you can pick things back up, but if it's not the priority now, let it go. Bridgette is living her mission to inspire women to live a Christian life, encourage those who are trudging through, and equip them so they can take action through Gateway Women. Inspiration is the motivation to get started. Encouragement is for when you're in the middle of it. It's easy to get inspired, it's hard to keep pushing through. Be aware of who's around you and listen to the Holy Spirit. Look for people in need of encouragement. Women are gifted at discernment, so lead with compassion and things will fall into place. It's hard to encourage someone you're comparing yourself to. Flip the script. Cheer her on and pray for her. Equipping is the practical how-tos. Determine what's on your plate and what you can take off of it – what has the Lord put on it and what did you add? Also, consider what it would look like to apply the practical application of your strengths. Being aware of your season, strengths, and weaknesses is the key to being effective in your life. Once you know those things, you can determine the resources you need. Give yourself a break. We all want to be our best. God knows our heart, so on the days when you feel like you're failing, give yourself a break. He's giving you more grace than you're accepting. Allow yourself to receive it. Let's Get Real Practical: What balls are you currently juggling? List them all. It's helpful to see them. What ball/balls is God saying it's okay to drop? Mark them off the list. Which balls have dropped that shattered? God is in the business of cleaning up our mess. Episode Sponsor: Sign up for JOYmail – my monthly newsletter that's full of resources that deliver a little joy and practical action steps for life into your inbox. Connect with Bridgette: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook
"I'm a 56 year old - I founded Gateway Women for all the childless women still out in the cold, feeling they are the only childless women in the world, I do it for the young women who would have been our daughters and those who don't yet know that motherhood will not happen for them. I do it for the women who went before me with few choices and no support - and for the women yet to come.” Meet Jody Day, author of “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children.”
This episode is, in a way, a part two of episode 12. Last time we looked at what it means to be childfree and how such a decision can be carried throughout life without any guilt. In this episode, I am joined by Jody Day, as we discuss being childless. We talk about the differences, the common misconceptions, understanding childless people better, communicating with them and knowing that in the end it's not about ‘us' and ‘them', but about all of us together. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women, with the social reach of 2 million, founded in 2011. She is an author, a speaker, a global though leader on female involuntary childlessness, an integrative psychotherapist, a TedX speaker, a social entrepreneur and much more. You can find Jody @gatewaywomen and you can visit her website https://gateway-women.com/ Make sure to also check out her amazing TedTalk on YouTube. Check out our website itsnotacrisis.com and don't forget to follow us on @ItsNotACrisisPodcast on both Instagram and Facebook for more content. We always love hearing from you, so drop a DM to say "hi" or email us at info@itsnotacrisis.com Don't forget...It's NOT a crisis!
This episode is, in a way, a part two of episode 12. Last time we looked at what it means to be childfree and how such a decision can be carried throughout life without any guilt. In this episode, I am joined by Jody Day, as we discuss being childless. We talk about the differences, the common misconceptions, understanding childless people better, communicating with them and knowing that in the end it's not about ‘us' and ‘them', but about all of us together. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women, with the social reach of 2 million, founded in 2011. She is an author, a speaker, a global though leader on female involuntary childlessness, an integrative psychotherapist, a TedX speaker, a social entrepreneur and much more. You can find Jody @gatewaywomen and you can visit her website https://gateway-women.com/ Make sure to also check out her amazing TedTalk on YouTube. Check out our website itsnotacrisis.com and don't forget to follow us on @ItsNotACrisisPodcast on both Instagram and Facebook for more content. We always love hearing from you, so drop a DM to say "hi" or email us at info@itsnotacrisis.com Don't forget...It's NOT a crisis!
This week, I have a guest on the podcast - Berenice Smith. Berenice has been a member of the Freelance Lifestylers FB group for a while, and she's been a support to so many in the group - but especially those who are childless not through choice. In this episode, we talk about Berenice's freelance journey, the language and actions we can take to be more inclusive of those who are childless, and the support out there for those who are childless, whether that's by choice or not. The tweaks she's suggesting are small but powerful, and I'd really recommend taking the time to listen to this episode (plus Berenice is an absolute delight!) Resources mentioned Gateway Women: https://gateway-women.com/ The Full Stop podcast: https://www.thefullstoppod.com/ World Childless Week (September) https://worldchildlessweek.net Walk In Our Shoes www.walkinourshoes.net Clan of Brothers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/clanofbrothers/ *About Berenice* Berenice Smith is a graphic designer who create design for print including books and marketing, website design and branding. Fun fact, she won three Blue Peter badges for drawing competitions! Find Berenice online: http://www.hellolovely.design/?fbclid=IwAR2Jsq9XBjm7ACXY2S23UmHpXezUxxQT6Oax5eBVINd8flJQiZSZ358Eh_Q" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">www.hellolovely.design "https://twitter.com/hihellolovely?fbclid=IwAR1I-IfyLI7Yq8yk9f_fOd73Hop1A-dW3-6qhry2BQ3_beIn5Ua_FYr4STI" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">https://twitter.com/hihellolovely "http://www.instagram.com/berenice_hellolovelydesign?fbclid=IwAR0lhjrkR6OrKXE7MkKly7ExSEMENlZ1ASDWkPW483bdtn85OY129fLakWI" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">www.instagram.com/berenice_hellolovelydesign
Today I have another important conversation to share with you. It's for women who are childless(not by choice), women who are childfree (childless by choice), and for women who DO have children, so you can better understand and empathize with women who do not. In her mid-forties, after years of trying to get pregnant, Jody Day found herself still childless– and overcome with grief and unsure how life could go on. Now, at the age of 56, Jody has found genuine happiness and embraced her life of involuntary childlessness by transforming her own suffering into service to other childless women. The British founder of Gateway Women, a global friendship and support network for childless women with a social reach of over 2-million, Jody is the author of "Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children." Chosen as one of the BBC's 100 Women in 2013, she's a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, integrative psychotherapist, TEDx speaker, and more. We speak about the problem with living in a pronatalist culture (especially when most people don't realize that we do), the fetishization of motherhood, the unconscious bias many hold towards childless women (and the historical roots of this), and how we can come together as women to begin to bridge the divide between those of us who have children and those of us who do not. Whether you have children, don't have children (but want/wanted them), don't want children, or still want children, this conversation is an important one to listen to and contemplate deeply. Please also share this with those who need to hear it. Enjoy! Jody Day's website: www.Gateway-Women.com Jody's upcoming "Reignite" Weekend: www.gateway-women.com/event-directory/ Jody on Instagram: www.Instagram.com/GatewayWomen Jody on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/GatewayWomenUK Sara's website: www.SaraAvantStover.com Women's Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training: www.SaraAvantStover.com/#teachertraininglist Sara's newsletter: www.SaraAvantStover.com/#subscribe Sara on Instagram: www.Instagram.com/SaraAvantStover Sara on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/SaraAvantStoverAuthor
Please be aware that we discuss failed pregnancy and suicide in this episode. If you would like further support you can find resources here on our toolkit. Episode 28: The joy in the everyday is a celebration of self-care and looking after ourselves. We hope you'll be inspired by our guests, Bindi Shah and Clare Elleray Bindi Shah is a meditation teacher, a life coach and a healer. She's started online meditation classes specifically for our community and Berenice loves them. “I love meditation practice but it was always hard to find a space that was trigger-free. I know that each week, I have a class in my diary and a time to connect not just with myself, but with friends in the group. I have complete trust in Bindi to guide me through a peaceful meditation that is part of my healing journey.” Berenice You can find out more about the classes and Bindi's work on this link to her website here Clare Elleray is the founder of Growing, Singing Childless and Whole which is an experience that Clare says is best understood by joining for a taster session. “We spend an hour on Zoom in the company of other women who happen not to have kids, when that was their plan, learning and singing lovely, meaningful, positive songs with beautiful harmonies and rhythms and helpful, fun, uplifting messages in them that we'll maybe find are useful mantras to carry with us in our daily lives. While not focussing on talking about our childlessness we do get a moment in every session to connect with the other women in the session. By connecting and singing together we gain confidence in using and enjoying our voices in our lives and find so many others just like ourselves who are growing into their childless selves acknowledging the sadnesses and the joys of being who they are. Joining in requires no specialist musical or singing skills at all. You won't be heard by others on the call but will be able to hear all the song parts on recordings that support your singing voice wherever you are. You'll then have access to the website (if you decide to join us) where all the details of the songs and recordings of many of them are shared so you can refer to them between sessions.” Here's the website for more details Clare also wrote a song to celebrate 10 years of Gateway Women and you can find that here
What do these women have in common, Oprah Winfrey, Winona Ryder, Miley Cyrus, and Jody Day? All are childless or child-free women, but one has founded the global support group Gateway Women and is the author of “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children.” Meet Jody Day.
Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the global support network for childless women - now celebrating its 10th Anniversary. Jody is also a psychotherapist and author of Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children - the book The British Medical Journal now recommend to patients coming to terms with unavoidable childlessness. Jody says of childlessness: ‘in no way do I wish to diminish the heartbreak you might be feeling right now - I've been there; it's the darkest place I've ever been. You never ‘get over' childlessness, it's not the flu, but it is possible to heal around it.' Here, Jody and Helen talk about: - Jody's journey - How IVF isn't a magic bullet - PTSD and fertility treatment - Childless or child free - how the terms aren't interchangeable - Unhelpful cultural ideas around not having children - Painful things people say - …and what to say back (‘I'm not ‘childless Google'!') - ‘Pronatalism' and how it does all women a disservice - Disenfranchised grief and how to heal it - Finding a new purpose – a ‘good' plan B Triggers include childlessness not by choice, infertility, IVF, abortion. It's a very powerful episode where we talk about a lot of extremely painful things (there are tears). It's difficult but important and that's what learning how to be sad is all about – so I hope you'll join us on this one and do get in touch at howtobesad@gmail.com if you would like to discuss further or visit https://gateway-women.com/. Follow Jody @gatewaywomen on Twitter and Instagram. Follow Helen on social media @MsHelenRussell How To Be Sad, the book, is out now. Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.
When Jody asked us if she could celebrate 10 years of Gateway Women with The Full Stop podcast, we were delighted. All three of us are proud to call Jody a friend and an inspiration. Gateway Women means a lot to Sarah and Berenice who have been members for many years and the model and thinking of the community has inspired Michael who has seen great change. To find out more about Gateway Women and how to join please click here
Show Noteモルモン教徒として育つ子宮内膜症の発見と不妊治療子宮摘出の決断子宮摘出手術後の人生の変化“Chasing Creation” の誕生子供が授からなかった女性のコミュニティ運営について子供のいない女性の国際サミット “Childless Collective Summit” について「話す」ということの重要さ＜グロサリー＞★子宮内膜症本来子宮内腔にできる内膜が子宮の外側（腹膜、卵巣、卵管、腸など）にできてしまう病気。これにより月経で出血した血液が貯留され、嚢胞が発生し、月経痛や月経困難症を引き起こす。★子宮摘出術子宮の外科的除去で、子宮頸部、卵巣、卵管、およびその他の周囲の構造の除去を伴う場合もある。閉経前で卵巣が残っている場合は（およそ50代前半まで）術後、月経はなくなるも更年期症状は起きない。★ Jody Day さんイギリス出身の著者で”Living the Life Unexpected" （予想外の人生を歩む）を2017年に出版。子供のいない女性のためのネットワークであるGateway Womenの創設者でもあり、2013年にはBBCが選ぶ女性100名に選ばれる。★Childless Collective Summit 4日間に渡り「想定外だった子供のいない人生」に向き合い、受け入れるためのバーチャルサミット。子供のいない女性を代表する28名のスピーカーを迎え、それぞれがストーリーを語る。期間中は、スピーカーにライブ質問したり、世界に点在する子供のいない参加者同士が交流できる機会も設ける。Life Beyond Expectations ーVirtual summit / Mar. 18-21, 2021＜プロフィール＞アメリカ、ユタ州在住 ケイティさん 39歳。ジョージア大学にて社会福祉学修士を取得し、コミュニティのエンパワーメントとプログラム開発に重点を置く。厳粛なモルモン教のコミュニティで育ち、24歳での結婚を機に自身の意思で脱退。結婚から10年、妊活を開始すると当時に子宮内膜症であることが発覚。腫瘍摘出後IVFを試みるも結果は出ず、反対に子宮内膜症が悪化し、最終的に子宮摘出手術を決断。想定外の人生「欲しくても授からなかった女性として、同じく授からないことで悩んでいる女性たちをサポートするコミュニティChasing Creationを運営。2021年3月には、子供のいない女性を対象とした初のバーチャルサミットを開催。Blog : Chasing CreationFLOW - Fulfilling Lives of Women〜産まない産めない女性の幸せな人生計画www.flow-japan.comFLOWは周りや社会からの期待や固定観念から解放され、それぞれの状況に置かれた女性たちが自分らしい選択をし、人生を楽しく生きる、そんな女性の多様性やストーリーを応援するプラットフォームです。様々な理由で子供のいない既婚女性、アラフォー独身女性、または不妊治療で悩む親友や姉妹をお持ちの方など、FLOWでは貴女の声をお待ちしています。
I contacted journalist Bibi Lynch after reading some of her stories online about sex and dating over 50... Little did I know the direction this interview would take and how it completely would change my (and Linda's) perspective on involuntary childlessness. Bibi Lynch is a journalist, writer, and broadcaster, she co-hosts the podcast Good Sex Bad Sex and is the proud creator of the acronym WHIPs (Women who are Hot, Intelligent and in their Prime). Bibi joins me to chat about dating and sex over 50, accepting your body as you get older, not feeling invisible in her 50s, dating on Twitter and she very openly and honestly shares her grief about not having children. You can read more of Bibi's work on her website: https://bibilynch.com/Bibi's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bibilynch/Gateway Women: https://gateway-women.com/And if you'd like to added to my close friends on Instagram to follow my Bachelorette updates, send me a DM here: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
Welcome to the #SPAITGIRL Talk Show with Yvette Le Blowitz Episode 96 - Living the Life Unexpected with Jody Day, Best Selling Author, Founder of Gateway Women How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women with a reach of almost two-million around the world. A thought-leader of female involuntary childlessness, she's an integrative psychotherapist, a TEDx speaker, a Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School and a former board member at AWOC (Ageing Without Children). A proud World Childless Week Champion she now lives in the Republic of Ireland. In her book - Living the Life Unexpected, Jody Day addresses the experience of involuntary childlessness and provides a powerful, practical guide to help those negotiating a future without children come to terms with their grief, a grief that is only just beginning to be recognised by society. Jody Day shares how it is possible to move towards a creative, happy, meaningful and fulfilling future even if it's not the one you had planned. Jody Day's book, Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children' was initially self published in 2013 and was an Amazon best seller in 24 hours. It is now published by Bluebird/PanMacmillian UK and in 2020 went into it's 2nd edition. Millions of people are now living a life without children, almost double that of a generation ago and the numbers are rising still. Although some are childfree by choice, another others are childless due to infertility or circumstance and are struggling to come to terms with their uncertain future. Although most people think that those without children 'couldn't' or 'didn't want' to be parents, the truth is much more complex. Jody Day was forty-four when she realised that her quest to be a mother was at an end. She presumed that she was through the toughest part, but over the next couple of years she was hit by waves of grief, despair and isolation. Eventually she found her way and in 2011 created Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women which has now helped almost two million people worldwide. Gateway Women's signature healing workshops for childless women looking to heal their hearts and create a new dream for their life is called 'The Reignite Weekend'. It is now running as a live, facilitated weekend online in Australia. The first one takes place on the weekend of 6th and 7th of March and it will also be running on July 17th and 18th and 2rd and 3rd of October 2021. Booking for July/October weekends is not yet open but you can find details of them on the home page of the Gateway Website at www.gateway-women.com and express your interest. Gateway Women also has a year-long mentorship program called 'The Online Bee' which is open to women from all over the world. Enrolment for that is happening now and the course starts on April 1st. The Gateway Women website has a page of resources collected from around the world for childless men. It includes the fact that World Childless Week has a whole day of programming each year called 'Men Matter Too' and also features the closed Facebook group for childless men created by Australian Michael Hughes and Brit Andy Harrod called 'The Clan of Brothers'. EP.96 - Living the Life Unexpected by Jody Day *click here to listen on Apple Podcasts - her personal story about turning 44 and realising her quest to be a mother was at an end - what inspired her to start Gateway Women - what inspired her to write her book Gateway Women - challenges for women or men who are on their own, childless and in lockdown during the global pandemic - grief, loss, your dreams, hopes, plans of becoming a Mum getting totally crushed - the power of connection and community - the importance for sharing our personal stories to help others - things we can do to support our Childless Women or Men globally especially during a global pandemic Plus we talk about so much more of course.... ----- Grab a copy of - Living the Life Unexpected by Jody Day, Best Selling Author by searching for it - via our #spaitgirl affiliated online book store - Booktopia *click here ----- Hashtag #spaitgirlpodcast //#spaitgirl + tag @spaitgirl - to share when you listen to this podcast episode ---------- TUNE INTO THE - Episode 96 available on Apple, Spotify, Google, Libysn + more or search for #spaitgirl on any podcast app -------- Available to watch on Youtube Channel - Spa it Girl Press the Play Button Below ------ Stay in contact with our Podcast Guest: Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women Website: www.gateaway-women.com Instagram: @gatewaywomen ---- IN SUPPORT - Little Random Act of Kindness After you tune into this episode I would LOVE for you to - subscribe to the #spaitgirl podcast show with Yvette Le Blowitz - leave a 5* rating and review - tell a friend, family member, or anyone you meet along the way too. ---------- Subscribe to #spaitgirl Website: www.spaitgirl.com Instagram: @spaitgirl ------ Stay In Touch with Podcast Host Yvette Le Blowitz Instagram @yvetteleblowitz ------- For Your Chance To Be Featured at www.spaitgirl.com Email: info@spaitgirl.com with your proposal Be Social - Hashtag #spaitgirl to share what you are up to --------- Please note - Affiliated Links included in this spaitgirl.com blog post includes affiliated links with Amazon.com and booktopia.com.au- should you order any books from Amazon.com or Booktopia.com.au via the links contained in this blog post spaitgirl.com will receive a small paid commission fee from the online book stores.
In this episode, Ben speaks with global thought leader on women living a childless life, Jody Day. Jody is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women with a social reach of over 2-million. From her arduous journey, Jody carries heart-healing wisdom for all of us, and I’m so grateful to share with this invigorating conversation with you. The gift of grief is the pearl of great price we are all invited to behold. www.gateway-women.com
We wanted to use this episode to discuss how we've had to adapt in this current climate of online communication. Who better than Helen Louise Jones who has been raising our spirits with singing through her Childless Voices project and Chanting Circles. The choir began before lockdown in the UK in March 2020 and she had to quickly adapt the delivery to keep providing support and it's been growing as a result. She joined us to talk about the power of voices and how it's helped her to grow too. We were also delighted to welcome Lisa Ann Kissane who talked about her love of books and how she's encouraging our community to read through her website and Gateway Women's NoMo Book Club which hosts online meetings to chat about the books she's recommended. If you've ever been triggered by a book then you need Lisa in your life! We encourage you to check out her website for her reviews, it's such an inspired idea. Making connections is such an important part of our lives today but it can be hard, especially in this current climate. If you're setting up an event for our community then we'd love to hear from you and offer you our support. Please do get in touch.
What is social infertility? This week's guest Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, takes us through the realities of being childless or child-free not by choice, in a warm and welcoming discussion that's a beautiful way to kick of 2021. If you are single and desire parenthood in addition to partnership, it can feel like a lot, especially when the questions from other people come in. Jody offers some brilliant strategies and a lot of compassionate perspective on being childless—and all of those things are so welcome in this community. Gateway WomenWorld Childress WeekFull Stop Podcast Attached (book mentioned in the episode) ***Important Changes To A Single Serving Podcast For 2021***shanisilver.comShani on InstagramAnti-Racism Resources For My White Friends & ReadersPodcast logo by Johanna PendleyPodcast hosted on BuzzsproutTranscript of podcast via Otter*Some links above are affiliate links. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/shanisilver)
Welcome to Episode 28 Today Yvonne John @y.vonnej joins us to speak about her Infertility journey. She is an accomplished photographer, a Gateway Women facilitator and the author of the book; Dreaming of a Life Unlived ( a collection of stories of women who have bravely documented their experiences, charting their journeys through grief to reclaiming their joy and finding a fulfilling life without children.) . Join us to listen to her incredible journey and all the work she is doing to create more awareness and support. . Remember to Subscribe, leave a review & give this podcast a 5* rating to help spread more awareness about In(fertility). . . If you would like to share your story, I would love to hear from you. Please send me a DM on Instagram or send email me at: . fertilityconversations@gmail.com . . Follow me on Instagram @fertilityconversations . . Read my blog: www.fertilityconversations.com
In this episode, we were joined by Sarah Roberts from The Empty Cradle, Stephanie Phillips from World Childless Week, Andy Harrod from Invisible Childlessness with Jody Day from Gateway Women to share our reflections on the year passed and our hopes for 2021. "It's almost like we're starting to claim our space in the culture" Sarah Roberts, The Empty Cradle
Jody is the British Founder of Gateway Women, the Global friendship and support network for childless women with a social reach of circa 2-million. Jody is the author of “Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning & a Fulfilling Future Without Children”. In this episode, I will be speaking to Jody about what happiness looks like to her and how she has embraced her life being Happy and Childless. We will be discussing how important it is to “befriend your grief” and learn to acknowledge it whilst continuing to push forward and embrace your life. We discuss the transition from being in a place of grief to one of acceptance and moving forward. The power of peer to peer healing can never be underestimated. Together we can challenge the media driven ideology of pro natalism which states that the only way to find meaning and happiness is to be a parent. Happiness comes from meaning. It is so important to create a meaningful life and happiness will follow. How can we learn to uncover joy again and getting the daydreaming engine going? It takes tiny steps forward, managing your thoughts and ultimately working within what you can control.
If you want to start a movement that changes the way people all around the world think about a particular topic, then this will be a really interesting conversation for you to listen to. Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, which has helped millions of women around the world to come to terms with involuntary childlessness. The social enterprise that now has touched millions of women's lives was started in 30 days, in a course I used to run 10 years ago, called The 30 day challenge. Jody is also featured in my new book, F**k Work Let's Play: How to do what you love and get paid for it, as an example of somebody who's created a social enterprise and business around something she is very passionate about. And so I wanted to dive into more detail here about: How she started that business in 30 days with a couple of things that seemed like very small steps, and then how she managed to get through all the setbacks inherent in starting a business. Her own approach to running a social enterprise. How she's managed to scale up far beyond what she could have ever done as an individual psychotherapist. Some of the challenges she ran into when she moved from doing everything completely for free to charging a very modest amount. This is a fascinating conversation that spans the issues of involuntary childlessness right the way to marketing and entrepreneurship. Best Wishes, John For full links and notes please visit: https://theideaslab.org/jodyday-gatewaywomen ______________________________________________________________ Music provided by Argofox: TheDiabolicalWaffle – My Wish https://youtu.be/sRWEMjYR6e4
Becky's father went to prison for sex offences against children. For a BBC documentary, Can Sex Offenders Change?, Becky met three sex offenders who didn’t go to jail, but had rehabilitation treatment in the community. We hear from Becky and Professor Belinda Whynder, Research Director Centre for Crime Offending, Prevention and Engagement at Nottingham Trent University and a co-founder of the charity Safer Living Foundation. Former Love Island contestant Camilla Thurlow worked in explosive ordinance disposal, finding and clearing landmines in some of the world’s most dangerous and inhospitable places. She has written a book - Not the Type – Finding my place in the real world. The Office for National Statistics has estimated that the number of women who reach 80 without children will almost triple in the next 25 years. As a result demand for paid care in nursing homes is expected to increase sharply. Why is the focus on childless women and not men, and how is the data being reported in the media? Jody Day is a psychotherapist, author and founder of Gateway Women, a global organisation for women who are involuntarily childless. Ravinder Bhogal is a chef and restaurateur whose book, Jikoni is subtitled as proudly inauthentic recipes from an immigrant kitchen. She tells Jenni how to Cook the Perfect Coffee Rasgullas with Mascarpone Ice Cream and Espresso Caramel. Sixteen year old Rhea from Shetland put out an appeal using an anonymous app, to anyone who wanted to share their personal stories about sexual violence. She received more than 60 responses within 24 hours. Rhea, and Lisa Ward, manager of Rape Crisis Shetland, talk about what those stories say about sexual violence within rural areas. Mary Stewart has been called one of the great British storytellers of the 20th century. Her 1954 best-seller Madame, Will You Talk? has been dramatised in two parts for Radio 4. We speak to the writers Jane Casey and Harriet Evans who are both fans of her work. Presenter: Jane Garvey Producer: Dianne McGregor
Becky’s father was convicted of sex offences against children and sent to prison. He has since been released but while in prison he undertook a sex offender rehabilitation programme. For a BBC documentary Can Sex Offenders Change? Becky meets a growing number of sex offenders who have not been sent to prison, and have received treatment in the community. She tries to understand what drove them to commit these horrific crimes, whilst seeing what treatment is available to stop them committing any more. She joins Jane to discuss along with Professor Belinda Winder, Research Director Centre for Crime Offending, Prevention and Engagement at Nottingham Trent University and a co-founder of the charity Safer Living Foundation. Scientists across the world are keen to find out if the female hormone oestrogen could offer protection against the worst symptoms of Covid-19. Data gathered from the Zoe Covid app created with Kings College London seems to suggest that younger women are at lower risk of developing symptoms but hormone replacement therapy taken by menopausal women doesn’t offer the same protection. We hear from menopause expert Dr Louise Newson who’s one of the co-authors of the new study. The Office for National Statistics has estimated that the number of women who get to 80 without children will almost triple in the next 25 years. As a result demand for paid care in nursing homes is expected to increase sharply. Why is the focus on childless women and not men, and how is the data being reported in the media? Jody Day is a psychotherapist, author and founder of Gateway Women, a global organisation for women who are involuntarily childless. Women in comedy are calling for a sexual harassment protocol after what they say are 'decades of abuse'. Stand-up comedian, writer and satirist Kiri Pritchard-Mclean and comedian and writer Nina Milligan join Jane to explain why they want clubs to adopt a kite mark-style system, rather than having to rely on whisper networks in the industry. Presented by Jane Garvey Produced by Sarah Crawley
In this special episode recorded during lockdown in Spain, UK and Ireland, we reflect on the impact of the Covid-19 coronavirus and our community, with a focus on what it's like to be single and childless in the pandemic. We are joined by Rod Silvers, Jody Day with Julie and Joss from Gateway Women. Trigger: we discuss our journey to childlessness and adult themes.
Show Links:Gateway Women's CareCrossroads Fellowship
What's the secret to living happily ever after with someone (or some two or three)? Where's My Happy Ending? is from the team behind the award-winning Dirty Mother Pukka podcast: Heart Radio presenter Anna Whitehouse (@mother_pukka) and journalist husband Matt Farquharson (@papa_pukka). In this episode, Matt talks to psychotherapist, author and founder of Gateway Women, Jody Day. Matt discovers that Jody's journey has taken her to unexpected places, to grieve the loss of an imagined life, and to embrace her unchosen future. Listen and subscribe to Where's My Happy Ending on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts. Insta @papa_pukka @mother_pukka
In this episode Michael, Sarah and Berenice were joined by Meriel Whale to talk about Mental Health as the world pauses to acknowledge World Mental Health Day. We would like to make you aware that this episode does contain mention of suicide and therefore may not be suitable for everyone to listen to. Meriel is a counsellor who lives and runs her practice in East Sussex in the UK. She's a member of Gateway Women and she's a World Childless Week champion, contributing to diversity and LGBT in our community. She has a Postgraduate Diploma in Person Centred Counselling from the University of Brighton (2010) and you can find out more about her counselling on her website here. Episode timings From the start Michael, Sarah and Berenice share personal stories. At 0.58 you can listen to community news At 1.12 Meriel Whale joins Michael and Sarah in conversation. This episode is 1.35 minutes long. Helpline details UK: Contact the Samaritans on freephone 116 123, they're open 24 hours and are there to listen and Mind. USA: Suicide Prevention Canada: Canada Crisis Australia: Beyond Blue
In this episode, hosts Michael, Sarah and Berenice are joined by Jody Day from Gateway Women to talk about speaking out about infertility and share what it's like to be childless not by choice. Listen to them chat about family, the workplace and the importance of conversation and their personal experiences.
Air Date: 5/31/2019 Today we take a look at the renewed energy in the anti-choice movement in the wake of the appointment of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. We have entered a new phase, having transitioned from the "chipping away" phase to the "full frontal assault" phase. Be part of the show! Leave a message at 202-999-3991 Episode Sponsors: Amazon USA| Amazon CA| Amazon UK| Clean Choice Energy Get AD FREE Shows & Bonus Content: Support our show on Patreon! SHOW NOTES Ch. 1: Oriaku Njoku & Jill Heaviside on Abortion Rights in Georgia and Beyond - CounterSpin - Air Date 5-16-19 Jill Heaviside is a lawyer and If/When/How HIV–Reproductive Justice Fellow with SisterLove, Inc. And Oriaku Njoku is co-founder and executive director of Access Reproductive Care—Southeast. They join us to talk about abortion rights in Georgia and beyond. Ch. 2: Don't Let Republicans Normalize ANY Abortion Bans - The Majority Report - Air Date 5-17-19 All abortions should be legal, full stop. Ch. 3: How Fury Can Fuel the Fight for Reproductive Rights - The Brian Lehrer Show - Air Date 5-19-19 Rebecca Traister, author of, most recently, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger (Simon & Schuster, 2018), talks about how angry women can channel their rage to fight back. Ch. 4: Myth-Busting the Anti-Choice ‘Born Alive’ Bills - Boom! Lawyered - Air Date 3-6-19 Anti-choice politicians are pushing a new legislative strategy to demonize their opponents and confuse the public: so-called Born Alive bills. Ch. 5: New Abortion Laws ‘Go Against Common Sense’ - The Real News - Air Date 5-18-19 Discussing why the calls to boycott anti-abortion states is not the right strategy in this particular case Ch. 6: The Corporate Sponsors of the War on Women - Thom Hartmann - Air Date 5-20-19 Like most Republican legislation, there is always a corporation behind it, and the draconian abortion bans passed by Georgia and Alabama are no different Ch. 7: What Life In Post-Roe America Will Be Like - The Majority Report with Sam Seder - Air Date 5-13-19 Robin Marty on her new book, "Handbook For Post-Roe America." Ch. 8: Defend & Strengthen the Future of Reproductive Justice Beyond Roe v. Wade - Best of the Left Activism Take action! Click the title and/or scroll down for quick links and resources from this segment. Ch. 9: State Abortion Bans And The Looming Challenge To Roe V. Wade - Diane Rehm On My Mind - Air Date 5-16-19 Alabama now has the most restrictive abortion law in the country. What the new law – and others like it around the country – mean for the future of abortion rights. VOICEMAILS Ch. 10: Framing the 2020 election - Conner from Worcester, MA Ch. 11: How to raise a good socialist child? - Alan from Connecticut FINAL COMMENTS Ch. 12: Final comments on accelerating the pain to speed the arrival of the backlash TAKE ACTION! *REMINDER: Abortion is still legal in all 50 states* Become an abortion clinic escort: Find a clinic near you via National Abortion Federation& Abortion Care Network, and ask what help they need. Support organizations helping people access reproductive care: National Org: National Network of Abortion Funds Local/Regional Orgs: Excerpt from The Cut article "What You Can Do to Help Women in States With Extreme Abortion Bans": Access Reproductive Care - Southeast: ARC is a volunteer organization that helps families in 12 states across the southeast access reproductive care. National Network of Abortion Funds: NNAF is a network of more than 80 funds in at least 38 states that seeks to eliminate economic barriers for low-income individuals seeking an abortion. The Yellowhammer Fund: Based in Alabama, Yellowhammer not only provides funding for abortions at one of the city’s three clinics, but also helps with other barriers to access patients may face, such as travel or lodging. (Yellowhammer is part of NNAF.) Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund: Run entirely by volunteers, the Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund helps people access abortion, and provides both support and resources to parents. Women Have Options: This Ohio-based organization provides financial assistance and support to low-income patients seeking reproductive care, abortion included. National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum: NAPAWF is a multi-issue community-organizing and policy-advocacy organization that fights for policy changes that would benefit women, transgender, and non-binary Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders. Gateway Women’s Access Fund: Based in Missouri, Gateway provides both educational and financial support to people in the state who can’t afford the full cost of an abortion. Push politicians and candidates to support: EACH Women Act Repeal of the Hyde Amendment Read Sen. Warren's Multi-Point Plan to Protect Choice Talk to friends and family about this issue, share your story & check out the #YouKnowMehashtag. EDUCATE YOURSELF & SHARE What You Can Do to Help Women in States With Extreme Abortion Bans(The Cut) How to Help Protect Abortion Rights in Alabama and Georgia(The New York Times) The corporations backing Alabama's war on women (Popular Information) When life begins and ends(Washington Post) A woman signed Alabama’s abortion ban into law. We need to talk about that.(Think Progress) Written by BOTL Communications Director Amanda Hoffman MUSIC(Blue Dot Sessions): Opening Theme: Loving Acoustic Instrumental by John Douglas Orr Cicle Veroni - Cicle Kadde Gondola Blue - Towboat Waltz and Fury - Macrame Gusty Hollow - Migration Hickory Shed - Onesuch Village No Smoking - Sunday at Slims The Rampart - Castle Danger This fickle world - Theo Bard Voicemail Music: Low Key Lost Feeling Electro by Alex Stinnent Closing Music: Upbeat Laid Back Indie Rock by Alex Stinnent Produced by Jay! Tomlinson Thanks for listening! Visit us at BestOfTheLeft.com Support the show via Patreon Listen on iTunes | Stitcher| Spotify| Alexa Devices| +more Check out the BotL iOS/AndroidApp in the App Stores! Follow at Twitter.com/BestOfTheLeft Like at Facebook.com/BestOfTheLeft Contact me directly at Jay@BestOfTheLeft.com Review the show on iTunesand Stitcher!
Victory Church is honored to serve our community and our world through partnerships with nearly 30 local and global missional outreach programs. We believe that God has called each of us to go out and serve our neighbors in our communities. Three local organizations (Transitions LifeCare, Gateway Women's Care, & The Raleigh Dream Center) join us to talk about their missions and how you can become actively involved as a volunteer in their programs. Check out our website @ https://victorychurchraleigh.com
Meet Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women. She’s passionate about helping women without children rediscover their dreams and get their groove back. In this inspiring interview Jody tells us about: How she came to set up Gateway Women 8 years ago Breaking the taboo of talking about one’s own childlessness Her mission to help as many childless women as possible The importance of recognizing the grief associated with being childless not by choice How change may not always be welcome amongst your friends and family The importance of finding your sisters when coping with childlessness Forging a midlife identity that is not wrapped up in motherhood The confidence and focus that can come in midlife You can find out more about Jody on her website Gateway Women and follow her on Twitter and Facebook. You may also want to watch Jody’s TEDX Talk. Jody’s Book: Living The Life Unexpected. This podcast is an extract from a longer video interview available in our Members Club. That's where you get the support, strategies and connection you need to make your (mid)life magnificent! Find out more at https://magnificentmidlife.com/ Be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast player so you don’t miss an episode!
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Your tuning in whether childless not by choice or not makes you a part of the conversation. Thank you! Welcome to episode 103! I have some VIP’s to shout out! Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Your Name Here Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a message of up to 90 seconds. Still trying to figure out how to achieve your goals this year? I have made available to you the same blueprint I use every new year. Blueprints are a great guide and guideline to help you meet your goals! Here’s the link! https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ Well, in today’s episode, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to Yvonne John. This was such an awesome episode to record! Intro: Yvonne John Yvonne’s Bio: Yvonne was never sure if she really wanted children but knew that she was expected to get married and have a family, in that order. Somewhere in between her dreams of traveling and experiencing what life had to offer Yvonne did wish for the perfect family, a husband, and four children. By the time she had reached her thirties this dream had fast lost its momentum, and by then Yvonne had given up on the dream of being a wife and mother. Because of her past, Yvonne had decided that it was now time to live by her choices. Yvonne believed that the opportunity to become a mother had passed so it was time to move on. It wasn't until Yvonne met her husband at 38 her faith in love was reignited. A year into their marriage Yvonne and her husband decided to try for a baby, which led to the unexpected sadness that was to follow when Yvonne was informed that she had 'Unexplained Infertility'. While trying to understand her grief Yvonne was introduced to Gateway Women, where she has been on her journey of forgiveness and renewed self-discovery. Yvonne is the author of “Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children” (2016) and has appeared on numerous radio and television programmes to talk about her experience of recovering from the grief of involuntary childlessness. Yvonne blogs about this at “Finding My Plan B”. A graduate of Gateway Women year long Plan B Mentorship programme, Jody Day (founder of Gateway Women) personally invited Yvonne to lead the Reignite weekends for women of color having come to understand through many conversations together that there are unique aspects to the women of color experience of childlessness that would be better served in a dedicated workshop. For more information on Yvonne's book, Blog, and platform, please check the show notes! Between 1948 and 1970 nearly half a million people moved from the Caribbean to Britain, which in 1948 faced severe labor shortages in the wake of the Second World War. These immigrants were later referred to as "the Windrush generation". In reference to the ship MV Empire Windrush, which arrived at Tilbury Docks, Essex, on 22 June 1948, bringing workers from Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, and other islands, as a response to post-war labor shortages in the UK. So when we had our pre-interview chat I realized right away that we have at least one thing in common: our families emigrated from the Caribbean, mine to the US, and yours to England. 1) I am sure like anyone whose family emigrates from another country, you lived and to some extent still live with one foot in the old country and one foot in the new country, tell us a little about how that was for you growing up in The United Kingdom. 2) Your workshop which is geared toward childless, not by choice women of color was created because we do have what I believe is cultural circumstances around not being able to have children. The cultural issues we have to deal with are probably the main reason we hide our childlessness, or like Michelle Obama said recently, not being more open about the struggle with infertility and miscarriage. How do you think we can fix this, how do we keep a ‘happy medium’ between talking about our struggle and not oversharing? 3) Why do you think black women are not more supportive and edifying of each other? Which can lead to the hiding our feelings--doesn’t allow for honesty. 4) We’ve covered some pretty heavy issues today. And here’s another one: we previously talked about episode 94--Triggers. You mentioned that your experience with the Charismatic church was negative, and in fact one of the reasons you reached out to me was because you heard me say in a previous video conversation, I will put the link in the show notes, that I wanted to work on getting the church in general, to be more aware of the childless not by choice members sitting in their pews. Do you think we still have a long way to go to church whether charismatic or otherwise, with how childless women are treated? Church folk tends to think childless women are sick and need to be prayed for right? 5) ) Pivoting a little, as we come to a close, hysterectomy: are you still planning on scheduling one for yourself? I would like the women who are considering or have already scheduled their hysterectomy, to hear what you plan to do as far as writing a letter to say goodbye (to your womb). Can you tell us your process, and if we’ve already had the hysterectomy, is it too late to say goodbye? 6) Is there anything we did not get to discuss that you really wanted to get the word out on before we close? Thank you/closing: Don’t forget to check out the show notes! Yvonne’s contact information is there, there are links to news stories I found interesting, the link to my online store chock full of great products created for the childless not by choice community is there, contact information for my sponsor Morgan Air as well as the contact information for my supporters. And of course, my contact information is there. Yvonne’s contact information: https://www.facebook.com/dreamingofalifeunlived/ https://gateway-women.com/event-directory/ Yvonne blogs at http://bit.ly/findingmyplanb Her book ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived’ can be purchased on Amazon at http://bit.ly/alifeunlived and the ebook via http://bit.ly/ofalifeunlived If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Special thank you to: Thank you to Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. And their email address is www.Morganair.net. Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org. Episodes and books mentioned in this episode: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/video-conversations-with-trailblazers-in-the-childless-not-by-choice-demographic/ https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1547407221&sr=1-1&keywords=kristin+neff+self+compassion https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/21st-century-hannah-31-days-encouragement/ News stories of note: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/pa/article-6037381/Caution-urged-social-egg-freezing.html https://www.mamamia.com.au/childfree/ My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. As we conclude Season 3, it seems fitting to share this conversation with Jody Day, who was the first ever interviewee on Unclassified Woman a few years ago. How do you combat society’s ideology about those who are on the “outside”? It’s not an easy task, but one that a few brave people are called upon to challenge. Today’s show is all about how we approach taboo topics, the dominance of pro-natalistic thinking and current trends in the way families are formed. Don’t miss this eye-opening conversation! "I found myself in midlife as part of the 'out' group because of something that was not of my choosing." Today, we’re catching up with Jody and finding out what’s been happening in her work in the past few years. Jody is the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women and the author of Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children. Jody’s a thought leader on the topic of women's involuntary childlessness and a founding member and former board member of AWOC, Ageing Without Children. She’s a former Cambridge Business Fellow in Social Innovation, a TEDx speaker, and a psychotherapist-in-training. She’s a very busy lady who takes great pleasure in helping childless women get their groove back and find their tribe via the Gateway Women workshops’ online communities and social meet-ups that happen all around the globe. What you’ll hear in this episode: The update on the last four years: Jody’s blog, the feedback from her work, and finding her tribe. In the UK, 1 in 5 women reach midlife without having children. The difference in the UK and the US as far as making an impact. How Jody developed and branded her blog so that women can identify with it and not feel alone in their experience. How the topic of childlessness is a combination of taboo, painful subjects like grief and infertility. How millennials view childlessness, both chosen and involuntary. The changing narrative around discussions about our bodies, sexuality, and childbearing. One area that still needs a dramatic shift in openness---menopause. Another taboo topic is abortion and its accompanying shame, guilt, and grief. Something we need to discuss more openly... Why Jody says she talks about her personal abortion experience at every opportunity--simply because it’s a taboo topic. Jody’s studies that are ongoing so she can graduate next Spring. In 2016, the 2nd edition of her book came out, with many interviews with childless women and men. The next stages of the social change that will take place and how legacy will play into the grieving process. Legacy can be a lifetime of moments of connection and empathy What “Plan B” looks like and why it doesn’t always mean something different than what you already have. Jody’s fantasy and what it meant about her value of motherhood and the validation of her mother’s heart. The compassion Jody feels for all disenfranchised groups of people. How her eyes have been opened to those who have been judged for something they couldn’t control. Jody’s Fertility Fight Club talk at Fertility Fest (find it at www.fertilityfest.com). The pro-natal ideology: the belief that you are a more important person because you’ve had children. The message is that if you are a parent, your life has more value. The prediction for Australia that by 2030 there will be more non-traditional family units without children than with children. 25% of the adult population will age without having children, but often this sector of the population are ignored. The huge need for reorganisation in our social systems. The future of Gateway Women as they tackle two main issues: pro-natalism in the workplace and getting stories of childlessness into the mainstream with humour. The difficulty in challenging and changing belief systems: how do we get the rest of the world to understand us and shift their thinking? Resources: www.gateway-women.com Find Jody on Instagram and Twitter: @GatewayWomen If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For information about more episodes go to: michellemariemcgrath.com I would love to hear what you found most helpful about this interview. Thank you.
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!) https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah Jordan Morgan Just a reminder, visit the website where you can join the community group, check out all podcast episodes, blogs, and resources www.childlessnotbychoice.net, the website is where the conversation is happening. Well, we have a special guest today! Intro Jody: Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, is author of the best-selling book ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, and the best selling book ‘Rocking The Life Unexpected--. She is a founding member and former board member at www.awoc.org (Ageing Without Children). Her TEDx talk, 'The Lost Tribe of Childless Women' was given at TEDxHull in March 2017 and has had more than 27K views. Jody was honoured in BBC'S 100 Women in 2013. And she is a trainee psychotherapist, and a former fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School, Cambridge University. She runs workshops, online courses, a global online community and global social events for women coming to terms with a life that doesn’t include motherhood, and is currently training other women to lead her workshops in the UK, Ireland, Europe, The USA & Canada. She plans to train more in Australia and New Zealand in the near future. Gateway Women has an aggregated social reach of over 2-million, between the website, various social media platforms, and its global public and private communities. Jody was partnered/married for 16 years in her 20s and 30s, during which she experienced unexplained infertility after an abortion in her very early 20s. She was single for many years before meeting her current partner. They divide their time between Ireland and Ibiza. Welcome, Jody: I’m going to start out by going way back in time: Your article ‘I may not be a mother – but I'm still a person’--written in The Guardian Newspaper, --Friday February 24, 2012... As I read the article, I could feel my heart breaking for the way you were treated at the party. I know the article was written so long ago, and it is not healthy to dwell on things, but what comes to mind when or if you think back to those times and events? 2) Why did you name your platform Gateway Women? 3) I read a quote recently: ‘When our broken dreams have cost us so dear, dreaming a new dream takes great courage’.--It was attributed to Gateway Women. Was that your quote? Either way, how do you grasp the courage to dream a new dream? 4) As I read through your intro in ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, I stopped short at the section where you considered doing volunteer work in Kabul, but reconsidered because you did not think you could deal with the Kabul winter. You weren’t even considering the fact that Kabul was in the middle of a war and that you could become a casualty. I definitely understand the level of grief where we do not even consider our safety. How do you get people outside of the childless not by choice demographic to understand that level of grief. Do you even bother? 5) In chapter one, you talk about the ‘universe of pain, heartbreak, surprise, dashed hopes, shock and grief…’ and the word shock jumped out at me. Shock for me was delayed...and then it came and went in waves. Which one of those nouns jumps out at you, if any? How did you overcome? 6) I’ve been questioned about how I am childless not by choice because I did not meet Mr. Right. It wasn’t an infertility issue, it was a social issue (no Mr. Right) plus biology (fibroids) equals no children. I read your list of 50 ways to be childless not by choice. My reason was number one! I got a little chuckle as it always amazes me how people can see you but not see you. Do you ever get tired of telling your story, explaining your childless? Or does it make a difference who the audience is? 7) (Ch. 3) Life can be tough. Motherhood can be tough. Childlessness can be tough. Well, we all know life can be tough. How do we get the motherhood camp and the childless camp that life is indeed tough no matter which camp we belong to, that being childless is not a free ride? 8) In chapter 3 I believe, you say: ‘Ideology is that which everyone believes to be ‘true’, but it’s actually a mixture of accepted prevalent beliefs that serve to support the dominant power group. Up until 500 years ago everyone thought the world was flat. That was an idea, not a truth, and around it was created a powerful ideology of Western Europe being at the centre of the world. So perhaps the ‘belief’ that a woman can only have a meaningful life if she is a mother may prove to be an ideological one and not the purely biological one that many of us have come to believe.’ Do you think society can really get past this ‘biological’ process we have utilized since the dawn of time? Is it just a matter of society learning to embrace empathy? 9) Chapter 4, ‘Grief is a dialogue not a monologue’ -- ‘Just as one of the most painful romantic experiences is ‘unrequited love’, I think that disenfranchised grief is a form of ‘unrequited grief’--a grief that is not allowed to be expressed, not allowed to be in a relationship. But grief cannot move into its active state, ‘grieving’, without a relationship because grief is a dialogue not a monologue. And until we find a place to have that dialogue, either face to face, online, or with a skilled therapist, it stays wedged in our hearts like a splinter. And it festers as it waits, infecting our life and our soul with sadness.’ (Location 1215 in Kindle). Not only do we need to dialogue, but it is important to dialogue with someone who understands our pain. This is why community is so important isn’t it? 10) I never thought of the term ‘double whammy’ as possibly patriarchal until I read your book. It made me take a look at the way I use the term to describe what has happened in my life--no husband, no children. The last thing I want is to be pitied. What an eye opener! I had so many more questions, but I had to cut it off somewhere. I do need to mention that as I read about how families treat the childless not by choice family members among them. I have experienced this to some level, as I am sure almost all childless not by choice women have. 11) I read about the one woman who was forced out of her own bedroom to sleep in a tent in the garden to make room for her young niece! I was like, ‘are you kidding me???’ I love your suggestion that the time to negotiate proper treatment during family get togethers is not right before the get together. I talk about kind but firm boundaries quite a bit on my platform. The bottom line is, we need to as childless not by choice women, condition or train the people around us, as to how we expect to be treated. But at the same time, we have to believe we deserve respect, and it can be hard depending on where we are in our journey. If we are feeling shame and then our family and friends shame us, we will probably just allow the shame to continue at least for a time. Oh my goodness, there is so much more: The Spinster stereotype, the doting aunt stereotype, the older childless woman being a witch or the mean Cruella de Ville...my mom got married at age 28, and on her marriage certificate it says her previous status was Spinster. She was 28! I have always been offended with that language. But my mom always said those were the days. It doesn’t seem like much has changed. Is there anything you would like to add, anything you would like to say before we close out? NOTE: Read more about the fetishism of motherhood in chapter 3. It is deep! Chapters 8-10 pressed all types of buttons for me. Please do take the opportunity to read this book. I think you will thoroughly enjoy it! Books by Jody Day: ‘Living the Life Unexpected, 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’ Articles/Blogs written by Jody Day: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/25/child-free-women-jody-day Jody’s contact information: https://gateway-women.com/ Twitter: @GatewayWomen Instagram: @GatewayWomen Facebook: @GatewayWomenUK Email: Jody@gateway-women.com www.awoc.org ‘It’s not a when, it’s an if.’--Jody Day. Articles of note/episodes mentioned in this episode: http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/ http://allafrica.com/stories/201806050128.html My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMPlease help me out by taking this very short survey!https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
While this is a podcast for pregnant women there are just as many women who want to be pregnant and cannot, or who are with a partner who does not want (more) children, or who have a chronic illness, or who are not able to find a suitable partner. The list of reasons is endless and as a women without children myself, and in a position where I work with women having babies daily - this is of particular interest to me. Jody Day is both a thought leader and a change maker and an advocate for womens choice and respect through her own personal challenges of being childless NOT by choice. Jody is the founder of [Gateway Women,](https://gateway-women.com/) the global friendship and support network for childless women, and the author of ‘[Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children' (Bluebird/PanMacmillan).](https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/jody-day/living-the-life-unexpected) A thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, she's a founding & former board member at [AWOC](https://awoc.org/) (Ageing Without Children), a former Cambridge Judge Business School Fellow in Social Innovation, [a TEDx speaker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uufXWTHT60Y) and a trainee psychotherapist. Jody takes great pleasure in helping childless women [get their groove back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvXScNU6GAM) and find their tribe via the Gateway Women workshops, [online communities](https://www.facebook.com/weareworthysummit/) and social meetups across the world. [www.gateway-women.com](https://gateway-women.com/)
As HBO's obsession-inducing dystopia returns for a second season, Eve Batey also returns to discuss reflections on capitalism; college-dorm philosophizing; why wigs are still shite in the future; and whether Ed Harris is using a stunt double. Eve claimed not to be a crackpot for calling for a Simpsons cancellation -- with a surprising hatchet man -- and the Bosch theme may have been deemed Worse Than Jazz before we went Around The Dial with The Handmaid's Tale, Splitting Up Together, and Unforgotten on Masterpiece Mystery. Then we were Flipping Out over Eve's Canon submission. Frankenstein's author won, Rectify's antagonist lost, and it all added up on a very mathy Game Time, in an all-new Extra Hot Great. GUESTS
How are you supposed to deal with the intense grief that accompanies the disappointment and shock of an unexplained infertility diagnosis? What if you’ve finally found the one person with whom you REALLY WANT to have a child? Yvonne’s story covers these emotions and more as she shares the circumstances that have transpired to alter what she thought was her perfect life. After taking a break to move back to the UK after 20 years living in Australia, I’m back with the podcast, sharing the stories and the healing experiences found in the lives of unclassified women. My guest today is Yvonne John, who is based in the UK and the author of Dreaming of a Life Unlived, the stories and portraits of women who are childless by circumstance. The book highlights women who are coming to terms with their grief and moving toward fulfilling lives without children. "I was the person sitting with my head down, feeling embarrassed and ashamed and not worthy to belong. I then became someone who has been accepted now for everything I am. It’s just fantastic." Yvonne was never sure if she wanted children, but she knew there was the expectation that she would get married and have a family, in that order. Somewhere between her dreams of travelling and experiencing what life had to offer, she wished for the perfect family, which for her would be comprised of a husband and four children. By the time she reached her 30’s, this dream had lost its momentum, and when she reached her mid-30’s, she’d given up on this dream of being a wife and mother. Because of her past, Yvonne decided it was now time to live by her choices. She believed the opportunity to become a wife and mother had passed her by, so it was now time for her to move on to something new. However, it wasn’t until she met her husband at age 38 that her faith in love was reignited. Maybe she could have a family after all? What you’ll hear in this episode: Yvonne’s background: married for 8 years and tried to conceive for 3 years, and then an unexplained infertility diagnosis, with a the distressing conclusion: there's no obvious reason why you can't have children. "I was surprised at how emotional I got at the “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. My heart sank and I knew that I wasn’t going to be a mum. I went home and cried and I couldn’t even talk about it." She had been ambivalent about having children until she met and married her husband, finally realising that they wanted to share a child together. The emotional heartbreak when she realised her dream was NOT going to happen. She couldn’t be around children or those who were pregnant. She blamed herself, carried immense shame and guilt, and couldn’t make sense of it all. Since Yvonne had also experienced two abortions in her 20’s, she thought her infertility was a result of those choices she had made back then. How she felt the pressure from friends and family and the difficulty in explaining what was happening. Explaining her situation was hard because it opened the door to those emotions for others. It wasn’t just the difficulty of wanting to have a child, but wanting to have a child with the husband she had finally found later in life. The emotional journey when people would say, “Why don’t you ‘just adopt’?”---like that’s an easy process to go through How she found Gateway Women to be a helpful place to accept and normalise what she was feeling, even though she didn’t at first understand the emotions as GRIEF. How the grief in telling your own story gives others permission to share and opens doors to the healing process. How Yvonne wrote a letter to her younger self and gave permission to forgive herself. The common threads of the stories in her book: why she wanted each woman to have a voice and be heard in a deep and powerful way, giving a platform and courage and control over infertility. The commonalities of grief and sadness for all women who go through these experiences. The differences Yvonne noticed between hearing white women talk about grief and how women of colour discussed the topic. The Reignite Weekend, for women of colour, whose grief is represented in a different way, mostly because of the culture they were brought up in, especially because of the language used about “God’s will”. Why Yvonne felt the hurt, thinking that God didn’t love her enough or think she deserved to be a mother---that she wasn’t “good enough” Yvonne’s greatest gifts that she's now experienced to heal her grief: public speaking opportunities, self-expression, love, kindness, and acceptance from other women. Through what she found at Gateway Women, women can be with others in the same places of grief and find the light at the end of the tunnel. We also discuss abortion - another taboo subject that we need to discuss more openly. Resources: Find Yvonne John at her blog: https://findingmyplanb.wordpress.com/about/ Find Yvonne's book on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dreaming-life-unlived-Yvonne-John/dp/1526201216 I do hope you enjoyed this episode and would be so grateful if you could subscribe on Itunes and leave a review so that more women can find this podcast. Find more episodes at: www.michellemariemcgrath.com
Christine Erickson believes in reflective learning through connecting with nature and works with horses as teaching partners for executive education and individual development and healing. She is the founder of One Legacy Coaching, LLC and The Mother Within initiative. Christine has facilitated learning programs for incredibly diverse individuals, executive leadership teams and social businesses internationally. As a coach and entrepreneur she enjoys working with clients who want to practice and embody intentional and creative living, self-leadership that inspires, and the heart space to serve others. It is her intention to connect with and serve other women through The Mother Within initiative in order to create an expressive and representative space for women without children and to breach cultural and social conversations that ultimately affect all women. Christine considers that for her, not having a child was circumstantial. At a time when having a child may have been possible, she was in an unhealthy marital relationship and didn’t feel it would be right to bring a child into that situation. By the time she had healed and moved on, her next partner already had children and did not want more. By this time, she was in her 40′s and had come to terms with the fact that having a child was not going to happen. It was a gradual realisation for herself and her life. A time of acceptance came slowly and with deep awareness. What helped Christine feel clearer about not having a child, was getting quiet and observing the pain and the process of going through it. This is the point in time when she wrote her book The Mother Within. She used many coaching tools and mindset work, but what really helped her heal was being quiet. She realised that she is a maternal Being. Owning and accepting this allowed her maternal sense to show itself in her relationships with others. She realises that this will be within her in various ways in different stages of her life. In her relationships with family and friends, Christine didn’t feel particularly supported about this issue, mainly because she wasn’t completely open about it. Her experience was more about the silence around the issue of not having a child. Once she became more comfortable about responding to things it opened up a gateway for communication with others. There has been awkwardness around the issue. Some people in our society have been not been conditioned to accept the possibility of not having children. In the US, almost 50% of women of a childbearing age do not have children at all. This number is much larger when you consider men who are also childfree. One point that Christine discusses in her book: if you look at things systemically, taxation or different regulations in our society; they feed the need to have children or get married. This is a paradigm that needs to shift and consider what we are and who we are right now. We are a rapidly ageing population and increasingly more are without children. There needs to be much more open conversation around this topic. With her work with women and the horses, Christine has integrated the work of women as coaches and healing professionals. This allows people to move out of the verbal mind space and to get back into their bodies in the sensing and knowing/feeling space with horses. Some of the positives: Horses are non-judgmental; A horse’s energy is clean; They are so present that it draws people into that presence; There’s a harmonic exchange between the person and the horse; Being around horses allows our minds to release energy in different ways; Everyone has a horse story; We don’t have to be perfect around a horse (it’s about being authentic); Horses are very sensitive. Many people have had a fearful experience with a horse. When someone has a lot of energy emanating, the response from the horse is basically trying to meet that energy. How to distill those fears, which is not necessarily negative, (it’s just information) can become a damaging experience. The facilitator needs to feel the honour of helping others come away with a positive experience. Acknowledging people’s fears is important. It’s better than trying to pretend that you’re fine, when you’re petrified inside. When you acknowledge your fears and accept them, the horse will be more relaxed around you. Christine has been doing this work since 2009. She has had a coaching practice for many years before she started incorporating work with horses. Everyone is at a different space within their journey. This is a great way of leaving a legacy. The one thing she wanted people who are in her situation to be conscious of, “We don’t have to leave or create a profound legacy just because we do not have a genetic legacy.” Her definition of legacy is more around people tapping into what is authentic for them, what they love to do, how they interact with and impact people or their own lives. If you can share that with others or serve other people, that’s a legacy. It can be creating a vibration of words every day intentionally that you send out to building a non-profit that serves girls and leadership. We’re all here to leave a legacy with or without children. Name it and do it consciously. There are many myths about not having a child such as “You can’t experience real love if you don’t have a child or can’t relate until you’ve experienced that type of love.” This is part of what drove Christine to write her book. Reclaim the real space – “Whatever our greatest experience of love is, IS our greatest experience of love.” Myths (proposed fact) are there to support social construct and not necessarily what’s real. Myths divide the notion of what real parenting is – it traps women in two different directions When the language is absolute, “There is no love in the world like…” “No one except your mother…” – reinforces all those social constructs. It forces competitiveness when there’s no right or wrong in this area of life. The reality of parenthood is something you can’t imagine until you’re experiencing it. We should never claim or define someone else’s experience. We may be losing our womanhood to motherhood. Some women that Christine admires as mothers are so conscious and work really hard at being themselves, at the same time as being conscious mothers. They’re living in such a keen awareness. Christine believes that at times the social definitions of motherhood or women without children, keeps us in a space of judgment and separation and also takes our energy and contribution as women collectively. In creating or producing meaning for your life – through the grief and acceptance of not having a child when you wanted one, this is the space we should re-acknowledge women and to be able to not only heal but compassionately witness each other and honour and celebrate each other. The Mother Within – what we are doing and who we are being is the expression. As for her greatest work, Christine feels that is “who are we being and what we are becoming in life”. She is working to continuously live a very conscientious life. As for role models, Christine doesn’t look at someone or would name anyone based on whether they have a child or not, what she considers as someone she’s inspired by is Jody Day, of Gateway Women. It’s the people who are becoming visible to create a conversation for a more feasible, creative and spiritual life for those who are maternal Beings and acknowledgment for women as a whole. Be our best selves…no matter what it looks like. Get Christine’s book here and find out more about The Mother Within here.
Jody Day is an author, social entrepreneur and the founder of Gateway Women a global friendship and support network for childless women. She is a founding member at AWOC, (Ageing without Children Collective) and a Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School at Cambridge University in the UK. Jody’s book, Rocking the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Life Without Children is an Amazon bestseller. Jody runs workshops, social events and private sessions for women coming to terms with the life that doesn’t include motherhood as well as speaking out about the issues and prejudices that childless women face. You can find out more about Jody’s work here. In this episode, Jody shares how she be turning 51 this year and her journey and experience of being a childless woman up until this point in her life. At 20 years old she had an abortion. She was in a long line of women who have had children at a very young age and her mother had impressed upon her that she needed to live her own life before she should have children. At 29 she tried to conceive with her then husband. However, by 33-34 she still was not pregnant. By this time she was doing all she could to conceive. Unfortunately her marriage started to deteriorate. At 38, her husband suggested they try IVF. However she realised that it wouldn’t be right to bring a baby into their marriage. After having a nervous breakdown soon after and many realisations, she decided to divorce her husband. By the time she was 43 and had experienced a few other relationships, she realised that that her opportunity to be a mother had passed. Reflecting on her life and wanting to have a child, Jody realised how obsessed she had been. She admitted that at one point she even was willing to ignore her husband’s addictions because she wanted to have a child so badly. It was a very difficult and challenging time. Realising and accepting the fact that she wouldn’t be a mother was an excruciating and long process. For about 15 years she had the strong feeling of connection within her belly that she put her life on hold and planned her whole life around that feeling. She called this, psychologically nesting. She was preparing this space in her life for the family that was coming. She was living a half-life – it became one-track. It was a massive shock realising that this life would never happen. She went into a profound period of grieving which she wasn’t aware of at the time. Since she couldn’t find the right help for herself at that time, she decided to become a psychotherapist. At first she thought that she couldn’t be a good psychotherapist since she wasn’t a mother but then realised that after going through her experiences she could be a great one. She is in the process of completing her studies.. When she was going through the portion of her class on grief she realised that was what she was going through a few months previously. She wrote down a map of her emotional experience including the emotional experiences of the women she was meeting while she was writing the Gateway Women’s blog and realised that it was a perfect fit. With great relief she realised that: There was a name for what she was experiencing. She wasn’t going crazy. This will be over one day. She compares this grief to losing a parent. Once you lose them, you can’t have another. That’s the same as realising that you can never have a child, you will never have all the “firsts” experiences. The grief also came in the form of alienation from her peer group or how they thought about her because she’s childless. The loss of her identity as a woman. Some of her friends were understanding but it was too painful for her to be around them. She withdrew. People made the most hopeless but well-meaning comments. How do you deal with some of the inappropriate questions or comments? “It depends on who the person is, what the situation is and people are a bit clueless about it but it is still a socially acceptable question.” Some feisty women in her Gateway group have been known to say – usually to strangers – if someone asked “Do you have kids? Why not?” The response, “Well, I didn’t know that we were going to get personal so quickly, so how much do you earn?” This is a private matter! Jody found that her answers have changed over time after facing her grief. There’s a myth that people who don’t have children hate children. Jody says that it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Her response has changed to, “No, I’m just not fortunate enough.” She feels that the culture should probably change to where if someone does (or does not) have children, they should be the first to mention them. People may not be intentionally unkind, they’re just being thoughtless. This is no longer a small subject. 1 in 5 women are turning 45 without having children. 10% of those have made the choice. 10% have some kind of medical infertility or other medical issues that prevent them from having children. 80% are childless by circumstance due to so many reasons at the time of their fertile years. “The really important reason they haven’t had children is because they haven’t gotten pregnant accidentally on purpose.” Social Infertility is a term that is commonly used now – There are so many women out there in their 30’s and 40’s who want to find a suitable partner but just can’t. Jody feels that there are some important reasons for that. She calls the current generation as the “shock absorber generation” after the sexual revolution because: We have access to the pill.We have access to legalized and safe abortions.We have access to higher education.We have access to executive professions.We have access to fertility treatments. There has been an increase of women going into the higher professions but we don’t have the same corresponding number of men doing so. It’s important that we put our situation into the social and economic context of our time. We are living through an extraordinary moment in the history of dating and mating. Can you now see the gifts and benefits having gone through all that experience? For Jody, not being able to have children really broke her heart. “…broke me but also broke me open in a profound way that has changed me…childlessness broke my heart but grief healed it bigger.” It has helped her become the woman that she was meant to be. Jody has been able to use her mother’s heart in a different way in the work that she’s doing now. It’s deeply satisfying. She’s comfortable with the idea that she might be single for the rest of her life but there are times that it is difficult. She really loves her life now. “How am I going to fill my life until death?” Jody understands that grief is a form of love. “We only grieve that which we have loved.” Grief is a relational emotion. It may allow us to love again. “Time does not heal grief, only grieving heals grief.” Grief needs to be related to. The most important thing about grief is it needs to be heard. Steps toward healing from grief: Allow yourself to feel those feelings.Allow yourself to go through the process, don’t try to stop it.There needs to be some kind of dialogue – with anyone.Allow yourself to be vulnerable.Being open and vulnerable allows others to be open and vulnerable. Moving forward, Jody is excited to confirm that her book is going to be republished by Bluebird (PanMacmillan) in the UK to come out for International Women’s Day in March 2016. It’s a revised and expanded version and will be translated into other languages. She was also made a Fellow of Social Innovation at Cambridge University for her work with Gateway Women. This gives her the opportunity to teach the new generation of leaders. These group of women are an extraordinary resource in a culture in desperate need of cause. It’s not a coincidence. Jody feels that this group of women are filling in the gaps, where mothers out there may be too busy raising the next great generation. See here to order Jody’s book Did you enjoy this episode? Do you have any friends or family members that you feel would benefit from this podcast series? Please share.
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