Podcast appearances and mentions of jerry sittser

We did it—500 episodes! Today, we're celebrating this incredible milestone by taking a look back at the conversations that have shaped us, stretched us, and stayed with us. From unforgettable guests who made us laugh, to powerful lessons that changed the way we think and lead—this episode is a tribute to the moments that mattered most. We're sharing the episodes we return to again and again… and the ones you keep talking about too. Whether you've been with us from the beginning or just found us recently, this 500th episode is a celebration of the journey we've taken together. Come celebrate with us! LIST OF FAVORITE EPISODE John Mark Comer - The Secret to Enoying Your Life 5 Episodes That I Think of Often 388 How Boundaries Help Us Get What We Really Want for Christmas with Sasha Shillcut (people are upset when you establish new boundaries bc they benefitted from your lack of boundaries or are resentful they didn't maintain the same boundary) 444 Love, Pray, Listen, Parenting Young Adults with Mary DeMuth (emphasis on maintaining relationship) 266 Our Relationship With Alcohol with Jenn Kautsch (Her own story of determining alcohol was no longer serving her) 376 Midlife Is No Joke: The Big Questions in Midlife (The things that used to work no longer do) 332 This Cultural Moment: Facing Reality with Jen Oshman (On being an informed citizen with boundaries) Krista Inheritance Gone Right with Sean and Jill Maher Helping your young adult kids find their career path with Tyler Lafferty The Soul of Shame with Dr Curt Thompson Midlife is no joke - The big questions in midlife with Kelly Flanagan Resilient Faith with Jerry Sittser 5 Guests I Won't Forget  181 Kay Warren on Depression and Anxiety 377 Midlife Is No Joke: Marriage with Jimmy and Irene Rollins 310 Moving Through Grief and Loss at Christmas with Nancy Hicks David Thomas —> 274 Parenting Teens: Navigating Emotions & 165 Parenting in the New Year 261 Katherin Wolff on Suffering Krista Parenting Young Adult Children with Dr Jim Burns Seven Surprising Ways to Rest with Dr Saundra Dalton Candace Cameron Bure Jackie Green and Lauren McAfee - how to be a person of legacy What Healthy Relationships do and don't have with Gary Thomas 5 Episodes Where I've Implemented Something I Learned 446 Styling Fashion Over 40 with Julie Powell and Krista Olufson 437 Jumpstarting Your Midlife Health with Megan Dahlman 414 Beat the Frumpy - on fashion with Jammie Baker 312 The Healthy Way: Productivity and Habits with Tanya Dalton 430 The Art and Heart of Holiday Gathering with Anna Watson Carl Krista Ep 493 Experience God, Really with John Eldredge - quote + God being “right here” in you + pausing + day, week, month year plan for renewal Lead your mindset with Emily Love The Secret to Success with Jeff Henderson Mental Training for Your Athlete and Yourself with Trisha Kroll Healthy Relationships 101 with John Townsend 5 Episodes That Brought Me Joy (It was all about the guests) 455 & 456 Building a Lasting Legacy with Rick and Diane Thomas 445 Maximizing Your Look with Rebecca Reid, Color Analyst 326 The Brain Game: The Soul of Shame with Dr. Curt Thompson 305 The Family Legacy Series with Eric Peterson 95  Sally Clarkson Krista Cultivating a Marriage that Lasts with Dan Allender The Secret to being instantly understood with John Trent Lisa Bevere - b/c she's awesome Kate Merrick - b/c there's no one like Kate and it's a moving story of faith Edie Littlefield Sundby - Movement heals the body 5 Episodes Others Have Talked About  421 & 422: What I've Noticed About You: Our Keys to Longterm Friendship 373: A Busy Mom's Guide to Photo Organization with Casey Von Stein 469: Who Am I If? 378 Midlife is No Joke: Menopause with Dr. Carol Tanksley 472: Faith-Driven Voters: Questions We Ask as We Cast Our Ballots With Kaitlyn Schess Krista How to feel the feels with Aundi Kobler Fighting for Family with Julie and Chris Bennett DISC your way to better relationships How to incorporate meaningful rituals into milestone birthdays  Innovation and creativity - two secrets to living life well with Ken Wytsma She's Re-launching - most recent episode on going back to work SPOTIFY LINK TO THE PLAYLIST OF EPISODES WE MENTION A FEW THINGS MENTIONED Books Sacred Marriage- Gary Thomas Sacred Parenting- Gary Thomas And She Still Laughs- Kate Merrick The Mission Walker- Edie Littlefield Sundby Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out - Jim Burns Try softer-Aundi kolber LET'S CONNECT! Did you like this episode? Let us know and leave a review on itunes or share it with a friend. Or message us on Instagram – we'd love to hear from you! Get the Daily Dozen Checklist -12 habits that will immediately make you happier and healthier

Losses come to every life and it can be hard to make sense of these heart-wrenching times. How do Christians handle death? Where do we begin on that difficult journey and what can we expect along the way?  Author, professor and compassionate fellow traveler, Dr. Jerry Sittser will offer Biblical wisdom and comfort for grieving hearts. Today's resource: A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss Equipped with Chris Brooks is made possible through your support.  To donate now, click here. This month's featured resource: Apologetics for an Ever-Changing Culture    

Sign-up for my free 20-day devotional, The Word Before Work Foundations, at http://TWBWFoundations.com--Series: God's Will for Your WorkDevotional: 4 of 4The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)We've been in a series exploring biblical truths for discerning God's will for your work. Here's the fourth and final I'll share:Truth #4: Some Christians need to spend less time discerning God's will and more time doing God's will.Now, notice that I didn't say “spend no time discerning God's will.” That would be unbiblical and foolish as the wisdom of seeking wisdom from the Lord is everywhere in Scripture (see Proverbs 3:5-6, James 1:5, etc.).The problem is that many of us spend so much time worrying about God's will for the future that we never get around to doing his will in the present. This stands in stark contrast to the example of Christ's followers in Scripture. Take Paul as an example. Yes there were times when Paul waited on the Lord in prayer (see Acts 13:1-2, Acts 16:6-10, etc.). But as pastor Jerry Sittser explains, the New Testament offers no hint that Paul agonized about the will of God as it pertained to the future…If we sense any agony in the heroes of Scripture, it is not in discovering the will of God but in doing it.”Now I hear what you're thinking: OK Jordan, so long as I am seeking to obey God, I have lots of freedom in the decisions I make at work. I get it. But I still have a decision to make! So how do I choose? Let me suggest 3 practices that put the truths we've learned in this series into practice.#1: Pray and ask God for wisdom. But as I mentioned before, don't be surprised if his answer is, “you choose.” #2: Seek wisdom from Christians who understand your work. This could be a small group in your church, a Christian Employee Resource Group at your company, or my own Mere Christians Community (which is open for enrollment this week).#3: Flip a coin. Absent an exceptionally clear answer from God or others, choose whichever option you want. Still can't decide? Flip a coin. As music producer Rick Rubin explains, “When the coin is spinning in the air, you'll likely notice a quiet preference or wish for one of the two to come up. Which are you rooting for? This is the option to go with.”God's will for your work is that you would work with him and be obedient to his commands. That gives you tonsof freedom to make decisions today. Maybe you need to stop asking God about his will and start doing his will. Because as Saint Francis de Sales once said, “Deeds give God far more glory than any amount of time wasted in trying to discriminate between good and better.”

Sign-up for my free 20-day devotional, The Word Before Work Foundations, at http://TWBWFoundations.com--Series: God's Will for Your WorkDevotional: 3 of 4Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)The hardest decision I've ever made professionally was to step down as CEO of Threshold 360 six years ago. I loved leading that fast growing tech startup. And I also loved creating faith and work content like these devotionals. But I was convinced that I had to put all my professional eggs in one of those two baskets.I knew neither path was a “higher calling”—I could follow Jesus fully in either role. But I still spent months paralyzed, desperate to discern God's will for my work.Part of what freed me was today's passage, knowing that regardless of which path I chose, as long as my heart was submissive to God today, he would make my paths straight tomorrow. As we've already seen in this series, Scripture says very little about God's will for you tomorrow, but a lot about God's will for you today—namely that he wills us to obey him and walk in the way of The Way, Jesus Christ (see 1 Thessalonians 4:3).So long as you're doing that, there's no such thing as a “wrong” decision. As Tim Keller once said, “for a Christian, there is no ‘plan B.'” Because God's purposes will always prevail (see Proverbs 19:21). That brings me to the third biblical truth for discerning God's will for your work… Truth #3: There is no wrong way if you are following The Way.Here's how pastor Jerry Sittser articulated this idea: “If we seek first God's kingdom and righteousness…then whatever choices we make concerning the future become the will of God for our lives. There are many pathways we could follow…As long as we are seeking God, all of them can be God's will for our lives, although only one—the path we choose—actually becomes his will.”In other words, it is impossible to seek the kingdom of God and miss the will of God. There is no wrong way if you are following The Way.What decision are you agonizing over at work? Should you stay or leave your job? Go back to school? Say yes or no to a big project? If none of your options violate God's commands, relax. Pray for wisdom. And unless you hear a clear answer, choose freely and confidently—knowing the Lord will make your path straight.

Sign-up for my free 20-day devotional, The Word Before Work Foundations, at http://TWBWFoundations.com--Series: God's Will for Your WorkDevotional: 1 of 4But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:33-34)Which job should I take? What goals is God calling me to pursue in my business? Has God closed the door on this opportunity for good? All of these are variations of the same question: What is God‘s will for my work?Over the next few weeks, we're going to explore four biblical truths for discerning God's will for your work that I'm confident will lead you to unprecedented freedom, clarity, and joy. The first might surprise you…Truth #1: Scripture says very little about God's will for you tomorrow, but a lot about God's will for you today.If you search “God's will” in the New Testament you will find nothing that resembles the types of future tense discernment we spend so much time worrying about today. And when Scripture does talk about the future, it's almost always in the context of commanding us not to worry about it (see Matthew 6:34)!What should we do instead? “Seek first” the kingdom of God “and his righteousness” (see Matthew 6:33). In other words, prioritize God in all things and obey him in all things like Christ did—that is God's will for you today and tomorrow. Paul says this more explicitly in 1 Thessalonians 4:3: “It is God's will that you should be sanctified.”The best book I've read on this topic is The Will of God as a Way of Life by pastor Jerry Sittser, who summarizes today's truth beautifully: “[After years of study] I discovered that the Bible says very little about the will of God as a future pathway. Instead, the Bible warns us about anxiety and presumption concerning the future, assures us that God is in control, and commands us to do the will of God we already know in the present….Obedience is God's will for our lives.”This truth isn't just freeing—it's empowering. Instead of being paralyzed by uncertainty about the future, we can move forward with confidence, knowing that God's will for today is clear.Before you close this email, identify one specific way you can obey God at work today. Maybe it's extending grace to a difficult coworker, working with excellence even when no one's watching, or simply pausing to pray before a meeting. God's will isn't a mystery—it's right in front of you. Obey and glorify him as you work today.

There are some realities we can never get over. And yet, we keep living. How do we do that well? Wilma Derksen writes and speaks on the topics of victimization and criminal justice. Her wisdom is hardwon. In the mid-80s, Wilma's daughter, Candace, was murdered. Their family's response to this tragedy has inspired so many people…and you'll soon see why. In this conversation, Kate and Wilma discuss:  How we live with the things we cannot change What does forgiveness look like in practice How to start forgiving yourself If you liked this episode, you might also like:  Malcolm Gladwell on whether people can change Jerry Sittser on reflecting on tragedy decades later CW: murder of a child   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life from Death: A Conversation With Jerry Sittser - A Grace Disguised

This is the third in the series called Life Stories

In this DA+3 Group Guide, you'll find key points and discussion questions to spark meaningful conversations with other dads. Explore insights on unplugging from technology, checking in with Jesus, expressing emotions physically, sharing Jesus stories, and more.   Key Takeaways   Check-in with Jesus: Pray about decisions, journal the voice of God, and pay attention to frustration flare-ups.  Get Outside: Take a break from technology and spend time in nature.  Read Ephesians 3:14-19: Pray that God would bring a word or phrase to you as you read these verses. Get a Baseball Bat and a Plastic Trash Can: Physically get out the heavy stuff.  Share Jesus Stories: Tell others when God has shown up for you.   John Eldredge   John Eldredge is an author, counselor, teacher, and the president of Wild at Heart. He and his wife, Stasi, have three sons and are proud grandparents. John loves all things beauty, nature, adventure, and more.    Key Quotes   5:45 - "Another resource, is a book, A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser. I've spoken about this book before around grief, but he has a metaphor of when there's something that flares up, a frustration flare up, or a heaviness, where is this coming from? He would say press into it further versus run away from it. So, instead of chasing the sunset, the sun is setting to the west. Instead of trying to stay in the sun, press into the darkness, is what his metaphor is. Press into the darkness, the areas of hurt, of heaviness, of frustration. Let's actually explore those a little bit with Jesus." 9:45 - "Palm trees roots intertangle with other palm trees roots to keep them from blowing over in a storm. They'll bend all the way over to the ground in a storm, but they won't actually snap off or die because their roots are entangled with each other. Maybe that's a promise for you guys, is as we grow brotherhood and grow friendships with other men, as we become DadAwesome by creating a community of men who are together, being that dad for their families but for each other, encouraging each other, praying for each other, holding each other accountable, that we could be rooted and established in God's love, rooted in community and in God's love."   Links from Today's Conversation   299 | Escaping Sedation, Meeting Jesus in Your Pain, and Sharing Fresh Jesus Stories (John Eldredge)  Aro Box A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss by Jerry L. Sittser 304 | Pursuing Visions, Journaling Daily, and Hearing God's Prophetic Voice (Ken Helser) 30 Days to Resilient in the One Minute Pause App   Connect with dadAWESOME   Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618  

In episode two, we will explore the historical origins of the idea of a rule-of-life with Dr. Jerry Sittser and learn about what this has looked like throughout church history.

After Katherine's stroke nearly 16 years ago, she was desperate for a “survival guide”—some voice to offer real hope in the aftermath of such disorienting loss. Jerry Sittser, the author of A Grace Disguised, was one of the few trustworthy resources she found after searching far and wide. Dr. Sittser became a bona fide member of the young suffering club when he lost his wife, mother, and young daughter in a catastrophic car accident. The lowest point in his life has developed an astoundingly robust faith and authentic joy.  Sounds like someone we could all learn from, doesn't he? What we'll cover… The possibility that grief could become integrated into healthier, more whole versions of ourselves Allowing our responses to loss to become what defines us, rather than the loss itself defining us Discovering new capacities to develop hard-fought contentment after losing the good things in our lives Practical ways to offer comfort to the people in our lives who are suffering If your loss is swallowing you whole today and you're in desperate need of a survival guide, this episode is for you. --- Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet's most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

Est luchando por perdonar a alguien que le ha hecho dao? Jerry Sittser habla sobre cmo perdon al conductor ebrio que accidentalmente embisti la furgoneta donde iba su familia y mat a su esposa, a su madre y a su hija. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Algunas prdidas son temporales. Otras son permanentes. Jerry Sittser habla con Dennis Rainey sobre el trgico accidente de trnsito que puso su mundo al revs en cuestin de segundos. Jerry explica cmo fue hacer luto por su esposa, su madre y su hija, todas fallecidas en el accidente, para luego tratar de reanudar una vida normal con sus tres hijos quienes lograron sobrevivir. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Algunas prdidas son temporales. Otras son permanentes. Jerry Sittser habla con Dennis Rainey sobre el trgico accidente de trnsito que puso su mundo al revs en cuestin de segundos. Jerry explica cmo fue hacer luto por su esposa, su madre y su hija, todas fallecidas en el accidente, para luego tratar de reanudar una vida normal con sus tres hijos quienes lograron sobrevivir. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Rev. Jermine Alberty joins Abby Miller and Matt Burke from the Center for Congregations to share about his experiences as a pastor and Mental Health First Aid trainer. He discusses the importance of mental health awareness both for congregational leaders and the members of congregations. Resources Mental Health First Aid (organization) Jermine Alberty (website) NAMI (organization) Pathways 2 Promise (organization) Sanctuary Mental Health Ministries (organization) Latino Mental Health (article) A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser (book)

Cree en la bondad de Dios, aun cuando pasan cosas malas? Jerry Sittser, profesor de teologa de la Universidad de Whitworth, habla sobre la valiente decisin que cambi su vida en una ambulancia, luego de un trgico accidente que cobr la vida de su esposa, su madre y su hija, de creer y poner su esperanza en un Dios amoroso y todopoderoso. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Cree en la bondad de Dios, aun cuando pasan cosas malas? Jerry Sittser, profesor de teologa de la Universidad de Whitworth, habla sobre la valiente decisin que cambi su vida en una ambulancia, luego de un trgico accidente que cobr la vida de su esposa, su madre y su hija, de creer y poner su esperanza en un Dios amoroso y todopoderoso. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Do you ever feel you are living in a world gone mad? Do you question whether peace is really possible? Brant Hansen, author and popular radio host, joins us for this important conversation with his quick wit and thoughtful ideas. We talk about being unoffendable and choosing peace, what it looks like to outsource our worries to God, and how we can trust God's plan, even when life spins out of control. Brant also explores the beauty of the Kingdom of God and the transformative power of focusing on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. He encourages us to memorize scripture as a way to combat anxiety and replace negative thoughts with God's truth. If you want more freedom, gratitude, and joy in your life, tune in. SOME THINGS YOU HEARD ON THE SHOW Life is Hard, God is Good, Let's Dance by Brant Hansen Unoffendable by Brant Hansen Unoffendable Study Guide with DVD Dallas Willard “Joy is a pervasive sense of well being regardless of circumstances.” Patriots Super Bowl Comeback Game Highlights This Cultural Moment Podcast Episode – Resilient Faith with New Testament Scholar Dr. Jerry Sittser (we are not the only Christians in history who have struggled) Tim Ferris   QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU RISE With whom do you need to be more unoffendable? How can you better cultivate peace in your life? What are you putting your attention on that needs to shift? What would it look like to dance? LET'S CONNECT! Did you like this episode? Let us know and leave a review on itunes or share it with a friend. Or message us on Instagram – we'd love to hear from you! Get the Daily Dozen Checklist -12 habits that will immediately make you happier and healthier

When you are walking through a hard season, do you struggle to be grateful? I know I do. I think it is very common to focus on the things we have lost and focus on the hard circumstances. If we are really honest, it is hard to see the little gifts God is providing in the middle of the big storm. But this is exactly what I want to talk with you about today. We are going to be highlighting the G in my STRENGTH acrostic from my book, Depth: Growing Through Heartbreak to Strength. The G stands for Give Praise to God even as your heart breaks. Oh friend, this is so difficult, but I think this is so important. I am so excited to have Angie Green on the podcast with me. We met back in January, and I have to say this woman is so full of hope and joy. She reminds me of a grandma that loves to pour out truth and wisdom and I cannot wait for you to hear her story. Book Recommendations: *Depth by Jodi Rosser *A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser by John Mason *In Light of Eternity and *Heaven by Randy Alcorn *Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg With the advantage of a long and close walk with God, Angie's life has been undergirded with a strong faith and desire to proclaim the love, faithfulness and goodness of God in the storms of life; the good, bad and ugly times and seasons. A servant leader, Angie is an experienced vocalist, songwriter, Bible study leader, small group facilitator, speaker and spiritual mentor. She has been mentoring, teaching, writing, blogging and speaking about the existence, presence and loving movements and actions of God for decades.   Angie's journey through grief after the sudden cardiac death of her youngest son, Kevin, in 2002 ripped out a piece of her heart leaving her feeling broken. Ultimately her journey of grief moved her from the edge of the grave to the edge of Eternity, and she would say she is living her best life with her husband, Bob, in Northern Colorado living with a renewed eternal perspective after surviving the fires of unexpected sorrow. In March 2006, Angie co-founded “Mothers Like Me Grief Care and Comfort Ministry” with Cynthia Roth-Weightman for grieving moms in Southern California. When Angie and her husband, Bob, relocated to Northern Colorado in 2008, the ministry continued as Angie envisioned “helping more moms in more places.” *Note: If you are interested in purchasing this book or the books recommended, I would love for you to use the Amazon Affiliate link above to help support the podcast. Thank you!

“It is not the experience of loss that becomes the defining moment of our lives, but how we respond to loss that matters.”Loss came suddenly for Jerry Sittser. In an instant, a tragic car accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife of 20 years, and his four-year-old daughter. Left as a single father to care for his three surviving children, Jerry was nearly overcome by the tremendous weight of grief.While most of us will probably not experience such a catastrophic loss in our lifetime, we will all face some sort of loss. Whether in the form of disability, chronic illness, crushing disappointment, or the death of a loved one, the experience of loss is universal. Are you wondering if you will ever heal or what God's plan is for you in the depth of your pain? Be encouraged as Jerry helps put words around sorrow and offers hope for how to grow with grief. Through God's transforming grace, new life is possible. Resources:Read A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through LossVisit Jerry's WebsiteListen to Carrying Grief with Bekah BowmanListen to Coping with Grief and Loss with Halley Mastrolonardo *Photo from Whitworth University. Used by permission. ---- Find more encouragement on Joni Eareckson Tada's Sharing Hope podcast  and daily devotional.Follow Joni and Friends on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.Your support  makes this podcast possible!Joni and Friends envisions a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ. Founded by Joni Eareckson Tada, we provide Christ-centered care through  Joni's House, Wheels for the World, and Retreats and Getaways, and offer disability ministry training.

In this episode, Lori and Christina chat with mental health expert Mandi Pierson about Trauma Informed Care and the importance of creating safe spaces for individuals (and ourselves).---------------------------------------------------------------------------Mentioned in the podcast:Window of Tolerance Dan Siegel. https://drdansiegel.com.A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser. https://a.co/d/8yyqqGN.https://porchlightcolumbus.com/.Liturgy of the Ordinary. https://tishharrisonwarren.com/liturgy-of-the-ordinary.

Northwestern Campus Ministry

Northwestern Campus Ministry

Tragic loss can lead to the depths of grief. Are you walking with grief from a personal loss? Are you struggling to see anything good coming out of your pain? Amanda Valantine is back for her weekly episode of the Hope Worth Repeating podcast. In this episode, she is discussing Jerry Sittser's book, "A Grace Disguised Revised and Expanded: How the Soul Grows Through Loss."Amanda shares of tragic loss in author, Jerry Sittser's, life. Twenty-five years ago he lost his mother, wife, and daughter in a car accident involving a drunk driver. This book is the 25 year revised and expanded edition, including two new chapters describing life now being further removed by time from his painful tragedy. Even in the pain and soul ache of loss, THERE IS HOPE! Listen as Amanda provides you with some insight into the book and some encouraging words that will remind you of God's grace and unconditional love in your pain. Be sure to subscribe to the show, then RATE and REVIEW the show to help us reach more who need to hear about, and be reminded of, The True HOPE.------------------------FROM THE SHOW: Jerry Sittser's website: https://www.jerrysittser.com/"A Grace Disguised” Book *: https://amzn.to/3HwRu7w      #sponsoredlink----------------------------------------MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST:Amanda Valantine, Family Recovery Life Coach    •    Facebook:  @hoperisescoaching    •    Instagram:  @familyhopecoachBehind The Mike website:https://BehindTheMikePodcast.comEmail:Mike@BehindTheMike.netRate & Review on Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/behind-the-mike-conversations-of-hope/id1491102872SPONSOR:Covenant EyesGet 30-days FREE using promo code:  BEHINDTHEMIKEhttps://covenanteyes.com (https://covenanteyes.com/)SUPPORT THE SHOW:https://buymeacoffee.com/TheMikePodcast-----------------------------------------* Behind the Mike: Conversations of Hope is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees for advertising and linking to Amazon.com (https://amazon.com/)Support the showWatch these podcasts on YouTube!Follow Us!FacebookInstagramTikTok

There are some stories with such unfathomable pain that it can seem impossible to ever see a glimpse of redemption throughout them. When the depth of heartbreak is so great, how can you ever see the light of goodness again? Jerry Sittser has walked a road of catastrophic loss that most of us cannot even imagine. In 1991, Jerry, his wife, mother, and children were hit head on by a drunk driver. In an instant, life as Jerry knew it was completely over as the wreck claimed the life of his wife, his young daughter, his mother and the wife and unborn child of the other driver. There in the complete wreckage of his life, Jerry slowly began to learn how the most excruciating of suffering can grow the soul in unimaginable ways. The lessons Jerry learned through his own grief have served as a healing balm to many through his groundbreaking book, A Grace Disguised How the Soul Grows Through Loss. Recently revised for a 25th Anniversary edition, Jerry vulnerably shared how grief has not only changed him, but grown him in ways that only suffering can. Through his story, he recognizes how all griefs, whether comparable or not to his own, invite us to step in to a grace that transforms us. In this episode, Davey talks with Jerry about how experience can and ultimately has to be the catalyst for our growth, the tensions that exist in pain and suffering, and how to step into the questions that inevitably come from our greatest heartbreak. With a hard won wisdom, a theological richness, and a profound outlook, Jerry's insight will help you process any grief you've experienced through a completely new lens. This conversation is one you'll want to listen to more than once as you glean from the deep well of Jerry's experience and wisdom. Website: www.jerrysittser.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/jerrysittser/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/jerrysittser Book: A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Disguised-Revised-Expanded-through/dp/0310363594/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=a+grace+disguised+by+jerry+sittser&qid=1658971721&s=books&sprefix=a+gra%2Cstripbooks%2C134&sr=1-1 Are you ready to take back your health and learn about holistic living the way God intended? Join Kristi Blackburn as she takes you Back to the Garden in her live, 8 week online wellness course where you'll gain practical tools to help you on your journey towards wholeness and health. Learn more at: www.linenandroots.com/course Join us for our next masterclass Broken Vows: Experiencing Wholeness and Healing after Sexual Betrayal with NIW certified coach Karissa Sprinkle on Thursday, October 20th at 8pm EST: www.nothingiswasted.com/masterclass

This week, Chris is joined by long-time Whitworth University professor Dr. Jerry Sittser.He has written nine books, among them A Grace Disguised, The Will of God as a Way of Life, and Water from a Deep Well. Brazos Press just published his latest book, Resilient Faith: How the Early Christian “Third Way” Changed the World, which explores how the early Christian movement developed such a clear and unique identity in the ancient world and, against all odds, grew into a formidable force long before Christianity became a legally recognized religion. He enjoys music, literature, gardening, hiking, woodworking, and he attends the Oregon Shakespeare Festival every year. Married to Patricia since 2010, he has three married children, two married step-children, and eight grandchildren.Check out more of Dr. Sittser's work at https://www.jerrysittser.com Or follow him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/jerrysittserPick up some Gravity merchandise hosted by Skidoh at: https://www.skidoh.com/gravity_consulting_training/shop/home Email us at chris@gravityct.comMusic credit:  https://pixabay.com/music/corporate-news-corporate-8307/

More about A Grace Disguised: With vulnerability and honesty, Jerry Sittser walks through his own grief and loss to show that new life is possible--one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple and ordinary gifts. This 25th-anniversary edition features a new introduction and two additional chapters, one which provides help for pastors and counselors. Loss came suddenly for Jerry Sittser. In an instant, a tragic car accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his young daughter. While most of us will not experience such a catastrophic loss in our lifetime, all of us will face some kind of loss in life. But we can, if we choose, know the grace that transforms us. Whether your suffering has come in the form of chronic illness, disability, divorce, unemployment, crushing disappointment, or the loss of someone you love, Sittser will help you put your thoughts into words in a way that will guide you deeper into your own healing process. This revised edition of A Grace Disguised plumbs the depths of our sorrows, asks questions many people are afraid to ask, and provides hope in its answers: Will the pain ever subside? Will my life ever be good again? Will the depression ever lift? Will I ever overcome the bitterness I feel? What is God's plan in all of this? The circumstances are not important; what we do with those circumstances is. In coming to the end of ourselves, we can come to the beginning of a new life. Purchase a copy of A Grace Disguised here. Don't forget to subscribe + leave us a rating and review! Be sure to visit the full show notes and listen to other episodes at thetriciagoyershow.com. And check out my newest book Heart Happy at triciagoyer.com/heart-happy! Mentioned in This Episode A Grace Disguised | Jerry Sittser John 11 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thetriciagoyershow/support

Welcome to North Church! Our mission is to inspire others to say “Yes” to God! We are located here in Spokane, WA, and we are a part of the Foursquare denomination. We meet both digitally & in-person every Sunday at 9am & 10:45am! To find out more about who we are as a church, visit our website at www.northchurch.net! We're so excited to have you join us today! We're continuing through our Back To Basics series with The Apostle's Creed with special guest speaker, Jerry Sittser! Join with us as we go through a weekly Bible plan for this series! You can view it at www.northchurch.net! We would love to get to know you more! We have in-person community groups open FOR YOU! Shoot an email over to Kenney@northchurch.net or fill out the form on our website and we'll reach out sometime this week! Speaking of keeping connected, follow us on Instagram or Facebook! We love you all and hope you have an amazing week!

Est luchando por perdonar a alguien que le ha hecho dao? Jerry Sittser habla sobre cmo perdon al conductor ebrio que accidentalmente embisti la furgoneta donde iba su familia y mat a su esposa, a su madre y a su hija. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Est luchando por perdonar a alguien que le ha hecho dao? Jerry Sittser habla sobre cmo perdon al conductor ebrio que accidentalmente embisti la furgoneta donde iba su familia y mat a su esposa, a su madre y a su hija. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Algunas prdidas son temporales. Otras son permanentes. Jerry Sittser habla con Dennis Rainey sobre el trgico accidente de trnsito que puso su mundo al revs en cuestin de segundos. Jerry explica cmo fue hacer luto por su esposa, su madre y su hija, todas fallecidas en el accidente, para luego tratar de reanudar una vida normal con sus tres hijos quienes lograron sobrevivir. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Algunas prdidas son temporales. Otras son permanentes. Jerry Sittser habla con Dennis Rainey sobre el trgico accidente de trnsito que puso su mundo al revs en cuestin de segundos. Jerry explica cmo fue hacer luto por su esposa, su madre y su hija, todas fallecidas en el accidente, para luego tratar de reanudar una vida normal con sus tres hijos quienes lograron sobrevivir. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Here we go again! The much anticipated part two.  Today Jerry shares eight things that he has learned after looking back over thirty years after his catastrophic loss. Jerry Sittser is the author of A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss. Jerry has suffered catastrophic loss and is no stranger to pain. He has done an outstanding job of helping those who suffer understand the more important story of their lives. In this episode, Brook and Elizabeth sit with Jerry and have a candid conversation about suffering, loss, trauma, and the way forward. Enjoy!  Follow us on Instagram:@intentional_parents@brook_mosser@Emosser@philmcomer@dianewcomer Grab a copy of our book: Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Passionate-Jesus-Followers-Intentional/dp/0310347777 Website: intentionalparents.org Donate: https://www.intentionalparents.org/donate Blog: https://www.intentionalparents./blog GET: The Intentional Film Serieshttps://www.intentionalparents.org/film-series A Grace Disguised:https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Disguised-Revised-Expanded-through/dp/0310363594/ref=sr_1_1?crid=JM8GUYJZ1TKB&keywords=a+grace+disguised+by+jerry+sittser&qid=1660079101&sprefix=A+grace+%2Caps%2C191&sr=8-1

Today we have a treat for you! Jerry Sittser is the author of A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss. Jerry has suffered catastrophic loss and is no stranger to pain. He has done an outstanding job of helping those who suffer understand the more important story of their lives. In this episode, Brook and Elizabeth sit with Jerry and have a candid conversation about suffering, loss, trauma, and the way forward. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram:@intentional_parents@brook_mosser@Emosser@philmcomer@dianewcomer Grab a copy of our book: Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Passionate-Jesus-Followers-Intentional/dp/0310347777 Website: intentionalparents.org Donate: https://www.intentionalparents.org/donate Blog: https://www.intentionalparents./blog GET: The Intentional Film Serieshttps://www.intentionalparents.org/film-series A Grace Disguised:https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Disguised-Revised-Expanded-through/dp/0310363594/ref=sr_1_1?crid=JM8GUYJZ1TKB&keywords=a+grace+disguised+by+jerry+sittser&qid=1660079101&sprefix=A+grace+%2Caps%2C191&sr=8-1

Author and theologian Jerry Sittser joins us to talk about belonging to the church throughout history, how historical church movements have fostered belonging, and what has changed to lead us to a "crisis of belonging" today. Get to know our work better at www.whitworth.edu/oce Check out Jerry's small group study "A New Catechumenate" at www.whitworth.edu/catechumenate

Welcome to New Hope's Cutting Room Floor Podcast where we get a chance to talk about what didn't make it into the sermon this week, and what our speaker would've liked more time to engage with.  We'll also go over some questions you might have had, and generally just have a good time talking about what was on our speaker's mind. Episode 8: How Could God Be Loving With So Much Suffering? with John Rosensteel Resources -Lament For A Son by Dr. Nicolas Wolterstorff -A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser -John interviews Dr. Jerry Sittser: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmACidf4ArI -Where is God When it Hurts? and Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey -Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense by Paul Tripp -Landfill Harmonic documentary: http://landfillharmonicmovie.com/

Welcome to New Hope! We're glad to have you join us this morning. In this sermons series, 10 Questions: Exploring Barriers to Faith, we will explore some of the questions that keep many people from ever considering the way of Jesus. When we engage with these questions we also equip people who are questioning their faith with new perspective for the journey ahead. And wrestling with these questions will enable followers of Jesus “to give a reason for the hope that is in us.” (1 Peter 3:15) This week we are exploring God and Suffering with John Rosensteel.   Resources   -Lament For A Son by Dr. Nicolas Wolterstorff  -A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser  -John interviews Dr. Jerry Sittser: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmACidf4ArI -Where is God When it Hurts? and Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey -Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense by Paul Tripp -Landfill Harmonic documentary: http://landfillharmonicmovie.com/

We've been talking about what it means to live in "this cultural moment" as a follower of Jesus. No wonder the topic of parenting has popped up in this series a number of times. This episode is dedicated to how we as parents navigate decisions and conversations when cultural norms conflict with our own values. Can anybody relate? We are thrilled to bring you Deborah Porter, the Ultimate Mom Coach, as we talk through social media, expectations of perfection, family non-negotiables, and difficult conversations. Deborah's wisdom soaks through in every word. She reminds us to approach our own views and our kids' opinions with humility, encourages us to ask for forgiveness when we've made mistakes, and to keep offering our children love as they navigate this world. Our faith is about reconciliation with our heavenly father. Our parenting posture can mirror that spirit of welcoming home over and over. We know you'll find this conversation to be helpful and hopeful as you guide the young people in your life to think through cultural norms, hot topics, and headlines. Deborah reminds us that we can't control what our kids think, but we can teach them how to think as they face the world. Connect with Deborah On her website or Instagram Listen to this episode On iTunes or watch it here: https://youtu.be/mhdZScWoXUA A few things mentioned on the show Curt Thompson interview Jerry Sittser interview The five love languages Maverick City Worship, Wait on you Deborah's freebies Things said “Perfection was never the goal, love is the goal” “We can't tell them what to think, but we can teach them how to think.” “God makes up the difference.” Thank you to our sponsor Simply Be Box Are you looking for a gift for the teen or tween girl in your life that she will LOVE & you can TRUST? Simply Be Box is the perfect gift for her! Simply Be Box is a faith-based subscription box for teen & tween girls filled with fun, positive, on-trend items, and encouragement to Simply Be who God created her to be. Use Code ODSSummer10 to receive $10 Off Your Subscription Purchase. What's Inside a Simply Be Box: Each box is focused around one of what they call the “Be Attitudes”. (Be You, Be Strong, Be Kind, Be a Friend…) These are reminders of who God created each girl to be and how He wants her to live. Each box has both a seasonal & inspirational theme and includes something to… · Read – Faith-based devotional, book, or bible study · Do – Craft, game, puzzle, or activity · Wear – Clothing, jewelry, or accessory · Eat – Healthy snack or sweet treat · Display – Candle, cross, sticker, sign, or magnet · Use – Health & beauty product, accessory, or gadget Boxes ship Quarterly – Fall Box in September, Winter Box in December, Spring Box in March, Summer Box in June 2 Ways to Subscribe… 1. Annual Subscription – Pre-pay for 4 boxes & save! [Total of $250 for 4 Boxes, includes shipping. Auto renews annually until paused or cancelled] 2. Seasonal Subscription – Auto renews each quarter until paused or cancelled [$67.50 per season, includes shipping] Their goal at Simply Be Box, through the subscription box & community, is to help teen + tween girls grow in their relationship with Jesus, know & love how they are uniquely created and encourage them to live out their faith & be a light in this world. Simply Be Box has provided a discount code for our The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast listeners! Use Code ODSSummer10 to receive $10 Off Your Subscription Purchase. Head over to their website SimplyBeBox.com and Subscribe Today! You can also follow them on Instagram @SimplyBeBox.

Even more, tragedy has happened in the world since we chatted last. I want to share more hope and healing in the midst of this. I am sharing wisdom from "A Grace Disguised" by Jerry Sittser. And, of course, from the word of God. Share, like, and tell a friend. Let's share hope and healing amid these awful tragedies.John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge,
 and his everlasting arms are under you. Isaiah 60:19-20 "…for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light,
 and your God will be your glory. …For the Lord will be your everlasting light.
 Your days of mourning will come to an end." 1 Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/angel-h-davis/message

How do we live a Christian faith in today's cultural context? What is required of us? What should be concerned about? If anything? How do we talk to our kids about changing cultural norms? And what doe the Bible say about all of this uncertainty we are feeling? We are starting a new series on the podcast this week we are calling This Cultural Moment to talk about these very questions. In fact this series is something you all have requested. We start with an incredibly encouraging and thoughtful conversation with Dr. Jerry Sittser. Dr. Sittser recently retired as a professor from Whitworth University and his newest book, Resilient Faith: How the Early Christian "Third Way" Changed the World gives us some historical reference for where we are today. We are not the first Christians to feel disoriented or overwhelmed by our cultural environment and we can be refined as we walk through spaces that are pushing us past (maybe way past) our comfort zones. From questions to ask ourselves as we're parenting to spiritual practices we can employ Jerry offers practical and hopeful responses for today's Christians. He also gives us hope that living a life of faith often involves a "third way" that is unfamiliar, yet intriguing, to those living near us. We can have a resilient faith as we do the internal work God asks of us to grow into mature followers of Jesus living in today's world. Things mentioned on the show Whitworth University The Atlantic An article in the Atlantic, Why the Past Ten Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid An article in the Atlantic, Why American Teens Are So Sad Robert Putnam, Bowling Alone, The Upswing Jesus and John Wayne by Kristen Dumez Jerry's new book Resilient Faith: How the Early Christian "Third Way" Changed the World The New Catechismal, contact Jerry for more Notable quotes “Politics is a really bad religion. We all need to be political, and involved to some degree, but we can't expect from politics what we can only expect from God. When we turn politics into God we're in serious trouble. ” “Jesus is not only the way to life, through his death and resurrection, Jesus is also the way of life. Both are equally true and important.” "Small is beautiful if it's faithful to God." Our sponsor for this series Simply Be Box Are you looking for a gift for the teen or tween girl in your life that she will LOVE & you can TRUST? Simply Be Box is the perfect gift for her! Simply Be Box is a faith-based subscription box for teen & tween girls filled with fun, positive, on-trend items, and encouragement to Simply Be who God created her to be. What's Inside a Simply Be Box: Each box is focused around one of what they call the “Be Attitudes”. (Be You, Be Strong, Be Kind, Be a Friend…) These are reminders of who God created each girl to be and how He wants her to live. Each box has both a seasonal & inspirational theme and includes something to… · Read – Faith-based devotional, book, or bible study · Do – Craft, game, puzzle, or activity · Wear – Clothing, jewelry, or accessory · Eat – Healthy snack or sweet treat · Display – Candle, cross, sticker, sign, or magnet · Use – Health & beauty product, accessory, or gadget Boxes ship Quarterly - Fall Box in September, Winter Box in December, Spring Box in March, Summer Box in June 2 Ways to Subscribe… 1. Annual Subscription – Pre-pay for 4 boxes & save! [Total of $250 for 4 Boxes, includes shipping. Auto renews annually until paused or cancelled] 2. Seasonal Subscription – Auto renews each quarter until paused or cancelled [$67.50 per season, includes shipping] Their goal at Simply Be Box, through the subscription box & community, is to help teen + tween girls grow in their relationship with Jesus, know & love how they are uniquely created and encourage them to live out their faith & be a light in this world. Simply Be Box has provided a discount code for our The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast listeners! Use Code ODSSummer10 to receive $10 Off Your Subscription Purchase. Head over to their website SimplyBeBox.com and Subscribe Today! You can also follow them on Instagram @SimplyBeBox.

Jerry Sittser is the author of A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss. He is no stranger to trauma. Jerry and I cover the following topics in this episode: our tendency to try to muscle our way through pain; how adversity in our present life invites us to return to our past story; and how to keep going when facing sadness, anger, exhaustion, and longing.

Losses come to every life and it can be hard to make sense of these heart-wrenching times. How do Christians handle death? Where do we begin on that difficult journey and what can we expect along the way?  Author, professor and compassionate fellow traveler, Dr. Jerry Sittser will offer Biblical wisdom and comfort for grieving hearts. EQUIPPERS - Our next ZOOM MEETING is next Thursday, April 7!    REGISTRATION DETAILS ARE IN YOUR E-MAIL INBOX.  Not an Equipper and want to attend?   Become an Equipper Today  

“It is not the experience of loss that becomes the defining moment of our lives, but how we respond to loss that matters.”Loss came suddenly for Jerry Sittser. In an instant, a tragic car accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife of 20 years, and his four-year-old daughter. Left as a single father to care for his three surviving children, Jerry was nearly overcome by the tremendous weight of grief. While most of us will probably not experience such a catastrophic loss in our lifetime, we will all face some sort of loss. Whether in the form of disability, chronic illness, crushing disappointment, or the death of a loved one, the experience of loss is universal. Jerry is joining Crystal to help put words around sorrow and offer hope for growing with grief. If you are wondering if you will ever heal or what God's plan is in the depth of your pain, be encouraged by this conversation. Through God's transforming grace, new life is possible.Resources:Read A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through LossVisit Jerry's WebsiteListen to Carrying Grief with Bekah BowmanListen to Coping with Grief and Loss with Halley MastrolonardoListen to Who Am I? with Jimmy Peña Questions or comments? Email Crystal at podcast@joniandfriends.orgSupport Joni and Friends to help make this podcast possible. Joni and Friends envisions a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ. Join us in answering the call in Luke 14:21-23... until his house is full! Founded by author and international disability advocate Joni Eareckson Tada, the ministry provides Christ-centered care that serves needs and transforms hearts through Joni's House, Wheels for the World, and Retreats and Getaways. Joni and Friends also equips individuals and churches with disability ministry training and provides higher education courses and internships through the Christian Institute on Disability. Find more encouragement through Joni's radio podcast, daily devotional, or by following us on Facebook,  Instagram, and YouTube.

Courtney Reissig tells the harrowing story of the birth of her fourth child, Ben. Some problems cropped up late in the pregnancy that threatened both of their lives and left some emotional scarring in its wake. Show Notes and Resources Nancy Guthrie and Jerry Sittser share about the loss of a child.

Mary Banks providing comic relief and “cleaning her windows” Worship Playlist“Everything Happens” podcast that Mary Banks referenced in her talk: Kate Bowler interviewing Jerry Sittser

How do you move forward after an incalculable loss? Jerry Sittser lost his wife, young daughter, and his mom in one horrific accident. But even as his world stopped, the world kept spinning. He had to learn how to parent his three surviving children in the wake of such grief. Now, thirty years after the accident that upended his life, Kate and Jerry discuss: Finding honesty about the pain you can never unknow  Why it isn't possible to protect our kids from the tragedies of life How to stop counting or comparing people's grief Why we cannot explain our suffering with simple formulas and shallow theology Whether miracles can solve our pain This conversation is an Everything Happens Masterclass on learning to live alongside the reality of lives that come apart for no reason we can explain. CW: deaths of family members***Find me on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Be sure to subscribe to my weekly email for bits of wisdom, prayers, free downloads, and more.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy today. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you move forward after an incalculable loss?  Jerry Sittser lost his wife, young daughter, and his mom in one horrific accident. But even as his world stopped, the world kept spinning. He had to learn how to parent his three surviving children in the wake of such grief.  Now, thirty years after the accident that upended his life, Kate and Jerry discuss: Finding honesty about the pain you can never unknow  Why it isn't possible to protect our kids from the tragedies of life How to stop counting or comparing people's grief Why we cannot explain our suffering with simple formulas and shallow theology Whether miracles can solve our pain This conversation is an Everything Happens Masterclass on learning to live alongside the reality of lives that come apart for no reason we can explain.  CW: deaths of family members *** Find me on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. Be sure to subscribe to my weekly email for bits of wisdom, prayers, free downloads, and more. No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

(00:00-9:01): Brian and Aubrey discussed the grief and shock of sudden loss, and Brian shared a story about a student from his daughter's school who died in a car accident. They also commented on a clip from Kay Warren's interview with Dr. Jerry Sittser, “Grief and Loss During COVID-19.”   (9:01-17:44): Jennifer Rothschild, best-selling author, Bible teacher, Host of the 4:13 Podcast, and Founder and Host of Fresh Grounded Faith Events, joined Brian and Aubrey to talk about the Fresh Grounded Faith Event in Oswego on October 15th and 16th.  Learn more about Jennifer at jenniferrothschild.com and get your tickets to the Fresh Grounded Faith Event in Oswego on October 15 & 16th at freshgroundedfaith.com (17:44-25:51): Brian and Aubrey commented on Colleen Kane and Gregory Pratt's Chicago Tribune article, “Chicago Bears sign a $197.2M purchase agreement for Arlington Heights racetrack land — taking the next step in a potential move from Soldier Field.” They also reacted to a clip from “The Full Go with Jason Goff.”  (25:51-35:12): What are the three phases of evangelical “deconstruction?” Brian and Aubrey talked about this and shared their thoughts on Scot McKnight's blog post, “Deconstruction's Three Phases.” (35:12-44:13): Brian and Aubrey chatted about the heartwarming Good Morning America story, “This dad who adopted his foster kids posts musical videos to challenge stereotypes.” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Suzanne's mama heart is evident in her story. I'm so grateful she let us enter with her into the joy of being Ethan's mom and the grief of not having him here on earth.Find her website Walking in the Shadowlands here. And their instagram here.Some resources from Suzanne:The Rabbit Listened by Courtney DoerrfelVoyage to the Star Kingdom by Anne RileyAnd Still She Laughs by Kate MerrickTherefore I Have Hope by Cameron Cole (To me, this is one of the best books about suffering and reconciling God's role in it)Other recommended books on suffering: A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser, God's Grace in Your Suffering by David Powlison, When Your Family's Lost a Loved One by Nancy Guthrie)Books that describe personal experience with infant or child loss: Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman, Holding Onto Hope by Nancy Guthrie, I WIll Carry You by Angie SmithThe Joyful Mourning (www.themorning.com) has a webpage, podcast, and an online community for mothers who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. The webpage also has excellent resources for people looking for ways to help a grieving friend. The Amelia Center(in)Complete RetreatAndrew Peterson's Resurrection Letters AlbumEllie Holcomb's Red Sea Road AlbumSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/mandeemcd)

How much of an impact do we have on each other? In this episode of Invisible Lions,  we'll explore what happens when our lives intersect with others. You'll hear about the life of a Danish man named Erik — and the ripple effect of his brave choices. Told through the lens of his daughter, Anna, you'll hear about the very real and difficult journey of grief, and why it's so important for us to share our stories.After this episode was published, Anna provided some grief resources and wrote a beautiful note to listeners.A Note from Anna to Listeners:My hope for all the listeners out there is that you would know the value of your own losses and the tears that accompany them. May you know your tears are evidence of the amount of love shared between you and whomever you have lost. May you have the courage to feel the depth of your own grief and find Love traveling the depths with you. May you come to see the gift there is in stewarding your losses.Resources:Website: Modern LossBooks: Modern Loss: Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome by Gabrielle Birkner and Rebecca Soffer.A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss by Jerry Sittser

Dr. Jerry Sittser joins us from Whitworth University this week! Jerry is an expert in Christian history and has done extensive work on "catechumenate," or a training process for people to grow strong in Christian faith and practice. THIS IS A MUST-LISTEN episode! So grab a cup o' joe or head out on a walk and press "play"! https://www.whitworth.edu/catechumenate/https://www.jerrysittser.com/blogBe in touch!uppcbiblejazz@gmail.comInstagram: @biblejazzSubscribe to Bible Jazz on Apple!https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/uppc-podcast/id1450663729?mt=2Follow on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/2YLbRFDsJbqGEAkMuJ1E5MListen on Stitcher:https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/university-place-presbyterian-church/bible-jazz?refid=stprGoogle Play:https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/Izwv3a4pnmvqy54czy3tew5x5fyAnd at www.UPPC.orgNew City Catechismhttp://newcitycatechism.com

What do we do when we face the biggest tragedies in our lives? How do we overcome the immense pain and sorrow we may feel. 2020 alone has been a year full of hardships, loss, and unknowns. In tonight's episode of "The Link," Pastor Chris Brooks is joined by Billy Creech and Justine Miles for a conversation about loss, grief, and what it means to lament. Both Billy and Justine share their stories of loss and how they learned healing through the song of lament.  Resources: "Learning the Song of Lament" by Justine Miles - https://tinyurl.com/y798qc8q"A Grace Disguised" by Jerry Sittser - https://tinyurl.com/y6kafbax"Grieving the Child I Never Knew" by Kathe Wunnenberg - https://tinyurl.com/y4hjgn5k"Dark Cloud, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament" by Mark Vroegop - https://tinyurl.com/y5qt6epvCareNet Berkley|Detroit - https://carenetberkleydetroit.org/ Support the show: https://woodsidebible.org/listen/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bible Reading: Ruth 1 (MSG);  Prayer:Derived from Jerry Sittser, a Grace Disguised, p.79May we be ready to see and willing to receive these gifts.Remind us, suffering triumphant God of love,that this requires a kind of sacrifice.The sacrifice of believing that,However painful our losses,Life can still be good.Good in a different way than before, but nevertheless good. References:Jerry Sittser, 2004, a Grace Disguised: how the soul grows through loss, expanded edition.

Bible Reading/Prayer: Lamentations 1:20-22, 2:20, 3:19-30 (MSG)  References:Dave Bryant, 1978, Jesus Take Me as I Am.Jerry Sittser, 2004, a Grace Disguised: how the soul grows through loss, expanded edition.

Life is hard. We often get stuck and feel there is no way out. We wonder if God cares and is willing and able to do anything about our mess. The story of Joseph reminds us that we will get through this and that God is continually transforming evil into eventual good.Join us for a 7-week adventure exploring the roller coaster life of a man who discovered God was with him every step of the way.________Thanks for listening to this week's message!Stay connected with us throughout the week:Website | Facebook | Instagram

Join us for an honest and poignant conversation with Dr. Jerry Sittser, author of one of the best books ever written on the subject of grief, "A Grace Disguised." Hear his story of profound loss and how he learned to allow it to enlarge his soul rather than crush him. He also addresses the global grief that we are all experiencing due to the coronavirus situation. Also included in this episode as a bonus, an original song written by co-host, Cathy, which was inspired by the book.

He's the co-founder of Whitworth’s Office of Church Engagement and an author, mentor and friend to hundreds who've worked and studied at the university. After more than three decades, Jerry Sittser is retiring and moving on to the next chapter in life. In this episode of "Beck & Calling," Jerry talks about the inspiration behind his latest book and about the way he's discovered and been living out his true calling in life

Best-selling author and church history professor Jerry Sittser gives us a peek into the lives and marriages of the early Christians who were an influence for good in the Roman culture. How did they do that? Early Christians valued marriage and children, unlike their Roman contemporaries who divorced at will and practiced abortion and infanticide. Early Christ followers also upheld their vows of faithfulness, and even took in abandoned babies left to die. Christians also had a strong sexual ethic, and valued the lives of all, including singles, widows, and orphans. Show Notes and Resources Find resources from this podcast at https://shop.familylife.com/. Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.  https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Have the FamilyLife Today® podcast and resources helped you?  Consider becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife. https://www.familylife.com/legacy

How did the unlearned, poor disciples of the early church change the world? Jerry Sittser, a professor of church history at Whitworth University, shares what the early Christians did to influence their neighbors and transform their culture. While the Romans practiced accommodation and the Jews practiced isolation, the early Christians maintained high standards of discipleship without isolating themselves.They were truly in this world, but not of it, and paid a costly price to follow Christ. Show Notes and Resources Find resources from this podcast at https://shop.familylife.com/. Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.  https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Have the FamilyLife Today® podcast and resources helped you?  Consider becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife. https://www.familylife.com/legacy

A Grace Disguised (Part 1) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 2) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 3) - Jerry SittserFamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Descending Into the Valley Guest:                         Jerry Sittser From the series:          A Grace Disguised  (Day 1 of 3)  Bob:  There are times in the midst of trials and traumas of life when we wonder to ourselves where is God?  Why did He let this happen?   For Jerry Sittser one of those events occurred in 1991 when he and his wife and their four children and Jerry's mother were hit head on by a vehicle traveling at 85 miles per hour.  The collision was fatal for Jerry's wife and for his mom and for one of his four children.  As Jerry reflects back on that event today he sees it as something that was ultimately faith affirming.   Jerry Sittser:  Through a long and often difficult journey I really did discover the Christian faith is true.  Grace really is available to get us through these hard stretches of life.  The ultimate message of Christianity is not self help it is God's help.   Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Monday July 6th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  We'll hear today how a tragic car accident can be a grace disguised.   Welcome to FamilyLife Today.  Thanks for joining us.  You and I were having a conversation not long ago with Dr. Al Moeller, the President of Southern Seminary and we asked him about questions he gets thrown by the secular media.  We said the tough questions are the ones they ask you.  What are the ones that put you on the spot?  Without even thinking he said we always come back to the issue of the problem of evil and suffering.  How can there be a good God when there is suffering in the world?   Dennis:  We don't always know what God is up to.  He is God and we are not.  We have a guest with us today on FamilyLife Today that I think is going to minister to a lot of our listeners.  Actually I was introduced to this guest by my wife Barbara, who joins us on FamilyLife Today as well.  Welcome Sweetie. Barbara Rainey:  Thanks.  I'm glad to be here. Dennis:  Jerry Sittser has written this book A Grace Disguised which is a story out of his own life and it occurred a number of years ago.  Jerry lives in Spokane Washington up in the eastern section of that great state.  He is a professor of theology at Whitworth University and has a Masters of Divinity from Fuller Theological Seminary and has his doctorate in history from the University of Chicago.  This leaves me with only one question Jerry, White Sox or Cubs? (laughter)Bob:  Or were you there long enough to even care? Dennis:  Oh he had to be if he had his PHD.   Jerry Sittser:  Dodgers! (laughter) Dennis:  Well, I do welcome you to the broadcast and I am grateful for you writing this book, A Grace Disguised.  I want Barbara to share with our listeners to help put in context out of which she gave me Jerry's book.  Bob:  Was this something somebody gave you as a gift?   Barbara:  It was a book that someone had recommended to me a number of years ago.  I bought it and started reading it and it was in my library.  But I didn't finish the book until last summer after our granddaughter Molly was born and only lived seven days and then died. As we began to try to make sense of what God had done and what He was up to I pulled that book off the shelf.  This time I had a real heart for it.  I needed it.  I read it all the way through and I was constantly underlining and reading portions of it to Dennis and saying “listen to what this says.”   I bought several copies and gave one to a couple of my daughters.  I gave one to Molly's mother, Rebecca, and a couple of our other daughters, too.  I said you need to have this in your library and if you don't read it all the way through right now you will read it eventually. Dennis:  It is really a love story of sorts that started when you met your wife Linda.  How did you meet her, Jerry? Jerry Sittser:  I was a student at Hope College and she was a student at Hope College in Holland, Michigan.  After I experienced a conversion between my sophomore and junior year we became very good friends.  Really best friends.  One day I was standing in a group of people and somebody got my attention from maybe 100 yards away and I turned and said something to them I'm sure.  I was a little cocky back then.   (laughter) Linda was in that circle and I turned back and our eyes met and that was it right there.  I just fell in love on the spot.    Dennis:  You were smitten. Jerry Sittser:  Oh, my goodness was I smitten. Bob:  But you'd known her for months before this?Jerry Sittser:  We were very good friends, yes. Bob:  So what in that moment you don't know? Jerry Sittser:  I don't know but our eyes met and it was just different.  So I asked her out a few days later and we were married eight months later.   Dennis:  No, no, no.  I want to know how you asked her to marry you because it has to be a great story. Jerry Sittser:  Well, we went up to some property that my family owned off the Grand River up in the hills.  We made a day of it and did some hiking and I had hidden a family heirloom a little silver container with the engagement ring inside it.  That also was the family stone.  I asked her to marry me.   Dennis:  You were married for 20 years.   Jerry Sittser:  Twenty years—just shy of 20 years and we had four children.   Dennis:  She was a homeschooler and she enjoyed teaching your kids.  Taking them on field trips, right? Jerry Sittser:  She was a multitalented woman.  She was very bright.  She was a professional musician and singer.  She was the choir director and the director of the professional children's choir in Spokane and a paid soloist at our home church and also a homeschooler.  Dennis:  You were on a field trip where you went to Idaho and it was not a normal field trip that you would think of when you think of homeschoolers.   Jerry Sittser:  She had just completed a unit on Native American cultures to my two oldest who were being homeschooled at the time.  We went on a field trip to a Native American powwow.  We had dinner with the tribal leaders and had a wonderful time and wonderful conversation.   Ironically one of the topics that came up was the curse of alcoholism in the tribe and the violence that often resulted from it.  They spoke with great pain over that.  These were really wonderful people.  Some fine Christian people.    After the dinner with them we went to the powwow and enjoyed it.  My two daughters who were then eight and four actually went out and danced with the tribe for a while.  I continued my conversation with Linda and several of the tribal leaders until about 8:30 and then we decided to go home. Dennis:  Now this was 1991? Jerry Sittser:  1991 September 27.  Dennis:   And you were there with your wife and four children plus your own mom. Jerry Sittser:   My mom came for the weekend.  She and my wife were going to go dress shopping for a new dress for a solo performance she was going to be doing of the Messiah in December.  Typical for my mom she brought 12 quarts of frozen blueberries packed in ice.  It was so typical for what she would do.  She was a wonderful woman, a great grandma, and a great mom.  She was very close to our family.   Dennis:  You had gone to Idaho for this field trip and you decided to head back home to Spokane at that point? Jerry Sittser:  We did.  It was dark out obviously and on a lonely stretch of highway only about 10 minutes from where the powwow was held I noticed a car coming on at a really rapid rate of speed.  It slowed down just a little bit at a curve and so I was alert to this.   Without any warning he just drove right into me.  He missed the curve and plowed head on at 85 miles per hour.  In fact it was so head on that his car cart wheeled over ours.  So it didn't roll it cart wheeled down the highway.   It was awful.  In the wake of that accident as soon as I could I collected myself.  I was not injured seriously just bruised and that sort of thing.  I looked around and knew that it was really bad.  My mother who was sitting way in the back was seriously injured.  My four year old I could tell was dead.  She had a broken neck.  I tried to get a pulse and did mouth to mouth but it was hopeless.  I could tell my wife, Linda, was catastrophically injured, too.   My other kids were dazed, crying, and screaming.  It was chaotic.  All the windows were broken out of the car.  My door could open and I got the kids out who were mobile.  Katherine was eight and John was six and David was two.  I found out later that John had a broken femur and some other injuries but the other two kids were just bruised but okay.  I went back to try to tend to Linda.  I got a pulse but knew she wasn't going to live because her injuries were just too severe.  I did mouth to mouth on Diana Jane but she was gone.   I got to my mother only briefly but then something beautiful happened.  You find these flowers in the midst of ashes almost right away.  People began to stop.  The scene was chaotic.  The driver survived but his wife who was nine months pregnant died and the unborn baby died as well.  There were five casualties in the accident.   Some guy got out of the car and went over to my mother and reached out to her through the broken window and held her hand and stroked her arm until she died.  That is a beautiful act of grace to me.  It was very courageous of him in the midst of that chaos and that violence to break through that with mercy and love.  I wish I knew who that man was because I'd like to thank him. Bob:  What a surreal moment that had to be for you.  Almost like you've stepped out of time and space and your body…I don't know how to describe it other than just surreal.Jerry Sittser:  Yes, it was surreal.  I have such vivid memories to this day.   Nothing has faded at all.  First it was a nightmare to have those kinds of memories.  It's not so bad anymore because it's been integrated into the landscape of my life.  It doesn't haunt me like it used to.   We waited a long time before emergency vehicles came and they took over.  I got to a phone as soon as I could to call my sister to say something unspeakable had happened.  After about an hour the survivors, namely my three children Katherine, John and David and I were all put in the same emergency vehicle and were transported another hour up to Coeur d'Alene for emergency care.   That one hour was probably the most significant hour in my life.  It really was the turning point for me.  It was like a wormhole from one reality to another.  Honestly it's the most accurate way I can describe it.  Time ceased to have meaning.  It could have been ten years.  That period of time is frozen in my memory and it was probably the most rational moment I've ever had in my life.  It was quiet.  John was sedated.  The other kids were whimpering but it was quiet.  The emergency personnel didn't say anything and I had one hour to just be.  I thought about the accident and the scene.  I knew what had happened and I thought of what would be as a result.   I considered the task set before me.  I had a burden that was placed on my shoulders and in a sense a divine mandate that said you draw a line in the sand right now and decide what you want to be and what you want to come from this experience.  And I did.  I said, I want the bleeding to stop right here.  This is it.  I don't want to do things that are going to set in motion more and more pain and more and more bleeding that could go on for generations.   I made the basic decision right then and there that I was going to somehow by the grace of God respond and live this story out in a way that was going to be redemptive.  Redemption was really the key term that just kept coming back to me.  Redemption.  This is not the final word.   Dennis:  I want out listeners to hear what's wrapped up in your statement because you make this statement in your book.  You said loss does not have to be the defining moment in our lives instead the defining moment can be our response to that loss.  It's not what happens to us that matters so much as what happens in us.  You really believe that don't you? Jerry Sittser:  I do believe it by the grace of God.  I didn't write a self help book here.  I don't believe that.  The ultimate message of Christianity is not self help it is God's help.  Through a long and often difficult journey I really did discover that the Christian faith is true.   Grace really is available to get us through these hard stretches of life.  My response of choosing to trust the grace of God was far more significant than the event itself.  You know my kids would say the same thing today.  They would say that the accident is actually not that significant.  It is what's come out of it that is significant.  Bob:  What seems remarkable to me as you describe this hour of rational clarity is the absence of grief.  I think of someone living through what you have just lived through and I would think this person would be a grieving basket case.  It's not that you didn't experience grief.   Jerry Sittser:  No, I did. Bob:  Do you think this was kind of a shock response or was this the grace of God giving you this moment of clarity to prepare you for what was ahead?  Jerry Sittser:  I suppose you could say there was some shock involved in it but Bob, there was something more than that honestly.  I look back on it this day with a sense of wonder.  It wasn't simply that I had not absorbed the significance.   I knew what had happened to me.   It wasn't even as if I was holding it off.  I think God gave me that gift.  I think He gave me one hour to decide what I was going to believe and where I was going to head and I walked out of that emergency vehicle in Coeur d'Alene into a different world.  I collapsed.  It was hard going for a long time.   Bob:  Can I ask the two of you did you experience anything similar to that, Barbara, in going through what you went through with the death of Molly? Barbara:  I think we did but it wasn't anywhere near as dramatic as what Jerry was describing.  We watched our kids and as we watched them respond to the news that Molly was not going to live they had a choice to make in those first moments.  I think those early moments of facing tragedy and loss in a crisis like that are the defining moments.   They decided they were going to believe God.  They were going to believe that He was good and that He was sufficient and that He knew what He was doing.  That really set the course for them from there on out.  So I think in the moment of crisis I think God gives us that opportunity to choose.  Do we believe Him or not?   Jerry Sittser:    I like what Barbara said about defining a course because that's different from solving all the problems.  When you suffer a loss whether it be divorce or terminal illness or loss of a job it can be other things that are a little less dramatic and tragic.  I think we do have the power to set a course and that makes a huge difference over a long period of time.  It doesn't solve all the problems but it gets us going in a particular direction.  I think I did that by the grace of God.   Bob:  You know people or have met people who just dissolved in their moment of pain and didn't have that rational clarity that you described.   Jerry Sittser:  I think what happens is we give some kind of tragedy more power than it deserves.  It does become the defining moment instead of the response being the defining moment.  It's the thing itself and then pretty soon it's affecting other relationships.    It's affecting life habits that we form and 20 or 30 years later that divorce or loss or whatever continues to dominate our lives.  That's what I call the second death and it's actually worse than the initial death.  Far worse than the loss of Linda and my mom and Diana Jane would have been say the loss my children would have experienced in my bitterness.  In fact I have an interesting story to tell you.   About six months or a year after the accident I got an anonymous telephone call from a young woman who said, “Mr. Sittser I want to tell you my story.  When I was a young girl my mother died of cancer and I've been in therapy for six years.  I thought to myself this is not a helpful conversation she said no let me continue my story.   “I'm in therapy not because I lost my mother but I lost my father at the same time and he is still alive. He became non functional and so overcome with grief and bitterness that I lost both parents but my dad is still alive.  She said, don't let that happen to you” and she hung up the phone.   Now she didn't give me new information but it was a wonderful reminder to me that the role I was playing was significant.  By my own attitude and spirit I was setting a course and I was giving cues to my children.   Dennis:  You are also making choices for your own life that are going to determine who you become as a man.  I think of the listeners who have eavesdropped today in terms of hearing this story.  I wonder what they are facing because all of us experience loss.  If you live long enough you will experience loss.  The Bible is a very lofty book but it's also a very gritty book that meets us in the midst of our grief.   You made a statement Jerry that I want to underline.  I really understand why a loss can become central to our lives and why the grief that surrounds it can become the defining moment.  It hurts.  It is terrible.  As you describe it it's catastrophic but I like what you did in your book.  You called us away from the focus on the circumstances to focus on the God of all grace and mercy who can bring hope and healing.  He can keep us from becoming embittered in that process.   Bob:  Barbara, in the weeks that followed in the birth and death of your granddaughter Molly you had a lot of people send you quotes and recommend articles or books.  This book was the one God used most powerfully, wasn't it? Barbara:  Yes.  It was.   There were other things, too, but this was the book that I read through that really resonated in my soul.  Jerry talked about not just the loss of death but all kinds of loss and how our identity is wrapped up in how we respond to that loss.  It was really profound in my life.   Bob:  I think both of you will be encouraged to know that we have a lot of listeners over the last several weeks who have contacted us to get a copy of Jerry's book called A Grace Disguised.  We still have copies in our FamilyLife Resource Center.   You can go to our web site FamilyLifeToday.com and find information about Jerry's book which is called A Grace Disguised:  How the Soul Grows Through Loss.  You'll find it available there along with copies of the book that you've just finished writing Barbara along with your daughter Rebecca called A Symphony in the Dark: Hearing God's Voice in Seasons of Grief.  It focuses in on the events of a year ago when your granddaughter Molly was born and lived for seven days and how your family processed that season of grief.   Again both of these books are available from us at FamilyLife Today.  Go to our web site FamilyLife Today.com.  You can order online from us if you'd like or if it's easier call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  That's 1-800-358-6329.  That's 1 800 “F”as in family “L” as in life and then the word TODAY and we can make arrangements to have whichever of these books you'd like or both of them sent out to you. We also want to take a couple of minutes and say thanks to those of you who help underwrite this daily radio program.  Your financial support of FamilyLife Today is what keeps this program on the air.  It helps defray the costs of production and syndication to keep this program on more than a thousand radio stations and outlets all across the country.  It is available online and audio streaming and as a podcast.  Thanks to those of you who help make that happen by making donations on a regular basis for the ministry of FamilyLife Today.   This month if you're able to help with a donation of any amount to the ministry of FamilyLife Today we have a CD we'd like to send you.  This CD features a conversation we had several months ago with Nancy Leigh DeMoss the popular author and speaker and the host of the daily radio program, Revive Our Hearts.  Our conversation was on the subject of forgiveness and what the Bible says about forgiveness.  Nancy has written a great book called Choosing Forgiveness and I know that this is a subject that a lot of people struggle with.  Jerry you addressed it in your book A Grace Disguised.   This CD is our way of saying thank you to you this month when you support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount.  If you're making that donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com all you have to do is type the word “forgive” in the key code box on the donation form and we'll know to send a copy of the CD to you. Or call toll-free 1 800 FLTODAY.   Make your donation over the phone and just ask for the CD on forgiveness or the CD with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  Again we are happy to send it to you and we do appreciate your support of this ministry.  Thanks for partnering with us.   Tomorrow we're going to talk about life getting back to normal after a catastrophic event like the one Jerry Sittser experienced almost two decades ago now.  We'll find out if life ever does get back to normal or if it's just a new normal.  I hope you can join us for that.   I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. © 2009 FamilyLife   We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.  However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.  If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?   Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com     

A Grace Disguised (Part 1) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 2) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 3) - Jerry SittserFamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Forgiveness Guest:                         Jerry SittserFrom the series:          A Grace Disguised  (Day 3 of 3) Bob:   Proverbs 25:11 says, “A Word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” When someone has experienced loss we need to be careful that our words are fitly spoken.  Here's Jerry Sittser… Jerry:  Sometimes words can actually exacerbate the problem rather than help the problem.  I mean, Job's three friends did their best work when they just shut their mouths for a week and sat with Job on that heap of ashes.  The cue is, when they're ready to talk, then you're ready to listen. When they really feel like they are ready to receive a word, then you give it, but never before that.  And what you don't want to do is use words to try to somehow push the loss and its significance away. Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, July 8th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.   We'll here today how God shows up in the midst of loss.  And about how we can show up, too.   And welcome to FamilyLife Today and thanks for joining us.  Just as I was walking in here, I got an email from our mutual friend, Dr. Michael Easley, who is the pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Franklin, TN, and Michael sent me a prayer that he had written to send to a couple who had experienced the loss of a child a year ago today.  The child had lived two months and unexpectedly died.  And Michael wrote this prayer for them.   He said, I pray for you today that your memories will be sweet, that your hearts will be calmed, that you will find a non-anxious presence.  That you will choose to trust and see good when there is nothing for sure, that you will grieve, but not as those who have no hope, that you will find comfort and mercy in places others may never know.   That your “why” questions will be replaced with a confidence in knowing that, He knows, and that's enough.  We love you and ask Him to pour mercy, kindness and hope into your hearts.  He does indeed know you and love you no matter what your experience may try to tell you. Dennis:  Bob, you know as I listen to those words, I think, how many people listening to this broadcast right now have experienced loss, some kind of major loss in their lives, in the past 5 to 10 years.   As I said earlier, if you live long enough, you will experience loss.  In fact, life is really made up of a lot of losses as we lose our childhood, and move into adulthood.  Some of those losses look good at the time but some of the losses aren't easily figured out, in fact, some are never figured out on this side of heaven.  We've had a guest with us, Dr. Jerry Sittser who has helped us better understand the process of grieving through his book, A Grace Disguised. Welcome back. Jerry:  Thank you, it's good to be here. Dennis:  I mentioned earlier, that Barbara had recommended this book to me after our daughter, Rebecca and her husband Jake, experienced the loss of their daughter after seven days of life.  And Barbara joins us on the broadcast as well.   Sweetie, welcome. Barbara:  Thank you, glad to be here. Dennis:  In fact, I hadn't asked you this question, sweetheart.  As you read this book, what was it about Jerry's book that most ministered to you, and why have you recommended it to so many people? Barbara:  Well, I wish I had my copy in front of me, I tried to find it this morning, and I can't find where I set that thing.  But at any rate it's all underlined and marked, and page corners turned back.   And one of the things I remember most vividly is early in the first few chapters, Jerry, you talk about how loss is loss and that it doesn't do any good to compare losses, and to say that this loss is worse than that loss.  Because loss brings grief and it brings pain and that grief and that pain is real and it needs to be experienced.  It is what it is.  To try to explain it or measure it and say it's not really that bad or it's worse than this, doesn't really make any difference in the long run.  I think we are so prone to wanting to measure and figure these things out.   The other piece I remember real vividly is a later chapter in the book, it talks about how our identity is changed by grief and loss and how so much of who we are is wrapped up in our identity with that thing or that person or that ability we have lost.  Whether it's a divorce or a death, or whether it's losing the ability through physical illness and how that personal identity is transformed through the process of loss and grief.  I thought that was really helpful and profound. Jerry:  I call that the amputation of the familiar self. Barbara:  That's what it was, yes. Jerry:  It's extraordinarily hard, because we are really defined by our location, our relationships, our work, these things provide sources of identity and when one of those is lopped off, it requires a pretty long and significant period of adjustment to figure out who you are in the wake of the loss of that thing, when that thing defined you to some degree.   We have these phantom pains, you know.  Phantom pains are the leg telling you it's still there when you look down and it's not there anymore.  That's what an amputation does and we will go through a long period of time when we feel those phantom pains of still feeling like we are this person, we belong to this person, we do this particular line of work and this kind of thing, even though we don't anymore. Bob:  How long was it for you in the weeks that followed the car accident where your wife and your daughter and your mother all were killed?  For how many months did you have this kind of reflexive phantom impulse to say, oh, I ought to call her and share this with her and then realize she's not there? Jerry:  Well, for a long time.  Reflexive is the right word, too.   It is like a reflex, where it's programmed in you, so automatic.  When after twenty years, when you call your spouse once or twice  a day just to check in, “Hi, honey, how's it going and what are you doing, what are the kids doing, or how's work going,” that sort of thing.  You can't help but have your mind go there; just automatically, it happens a long time.  I would say after those months even though it wasn't as reflexive as it once was, it still was an impulse in me.   And to tell you the truth, Bob, it still is, after 18 years.  Now, I don't say that in despairing or bitter kind of way.  I still think about those people every day.  There's not a day that goes by, I don't.  And I don't think that's a bad thing.  I don't like words like recovery; I think that gives us a kind of vain expectation as if we can get back to something we had before.   Dennis:  Some months before our granddaughter, Molly, died, I received an email from the gentleman who heads up FamilyLife in New Zealand.  His name is Andy Bray, he and his wife Nikki have given leadership to FamilyLife there for more than a dozen years.  Their daughter who was 15 or 16 years of age, at the time, was killed in a tragic flood in New Zealand along with 5 or 6 other young people who were all first class Christian leaders.   It was a reward trip for these young people, and I received that email some months before Molly's death.  And I have to tell you that in those seven days of Molly's life, I kept thinking, that has to be harder, a harder thing to bear, to have had a relationship with your daughter for 16 years and now, to say goodbye.   I mean it's one thing for my daughter and son-in-law to have a relationship for seven days and say goodbye, and the more I tried to work this equation out in my mind, I came to the conclusion that it was futility.  It was a waste of time.  Am I wrong? Jerry:  No, you are right.  Comparing loss is vain.  It's like comparing headaches; I mean people will describe their headaches in lots of different ways.  Well, how are you going to determine which one is worse?  I mean it's silly in the first place.   I put it this way; all losses are bad, just bad in different ways.  How can you compare say the loss of a spouse to death and the loss of a spouse to divorce?  How can you compare the loss of a child to death or say the loss of a child to waywardness, they are both bad.  And they stand on their own and we need to treat them as unique and sacred in and of themselves.   I tell you that was one of the reasons why I hesitated to write this book.  My story is kind of sensational in a way, I mean this big event and three people are killed in this drunken driving accident. Everybody sort of gasps and I became almost an instant celebrity in Spokane overnight and I didn't like that.  And the reason why I didn't like that was because I was so profoundly aware of other kinds of losses that were as severe  as mine, just different, and maybe not visible and maybe not as prone to receive sympathy from other people.  Let me give you an example, some guy came up to me a couple of years after the accident and said I've resented you for two years.  And I said, “why, I hardly know you”, and he said, “your tragedy turned you into a hero, my tragedy has only brought more pain.  My wife left me for another woman,” he said, “and I've had to deal with catastrophic consequences, but I'm nobody's hero.”   That was very sobering for me to hear, it wasn't very nice for him to say, but it was very sobering for me to hear, recognizing that there are lots of losses that do not receive very much public attention.   If they do, it's not with sympathy.  I hesitated to write the book and when I decided to write it, I inserted Chapter Two:  Whose Loss is Worse, just to protect myself from being made some kind of false celebrity because of my loss.  There are lots of ways to suffer, lots of ways to experience pain, and mine is only one.  And there are lots of things I don't know, I don't know what it means to experience, let's say the long term effects of terminal illness or injuries from which a person cannot recover.   Bob:  You know, it was interesting, Barbara, to hear you reflect back on what had an impact on you as you read Jerry's book.  I asked Maryann last night, the same question.  I said what was most impactful as you read the book, and she said probably the chapter on forgiveness.   I thought it's interesting, I don't know that we make a connection between grief and loss and forgiveness, but you see those as being intimately tied together, don't you? Jerry:  I do, and I titled that chapter:  Forgive and Remember, instead of forgive and forget.  I don't think it's possible and I don't think it's healthy to forget anything.  But I think forgiveness can change the way we remember things.   Especially when we've had pain inflicted to us, spouses betrayed us, somebody's done some violent act, say raped us or something like that, or someone has embezzled money and that destroyed our business.  There are lots of ways we suffer loss when the results are catastrophic and somebody willed to do harm to us, directly or indirectly. Bob:  In your case, it was a drunk driver who swerved across the road, right? Jerry:  And smashed into us.  Now he didn't intend to do that, his harm was not malicious in the sense that he was out to kill three members of my family.  But his irresponsible decisions did lead to that and required me to forgive. Bob:  What did you have to go through to get to forgiveness? Jerry:  I think there were two phases to it; the more immediate and obvious one was the trial when the drunken driver was acquitted on a technicality and he walked away.  That only added kind of a bitter cast to an already difficult journey in forgiving somebody who had had such a significant impact on my life.  I learned in the process that forgiveness is not a singular act, it's a process you go through.  And I think the most significant decision we make, is to say, we want to forgive.  Not that we forgive at the time, but we want to go through the process where forgiveness begins to take place.  And we get to the point where we can wish the person well and pray for them. Bob:  You have heard some amazing, well; you've gotten some amazing feedback to the book.  Letters, you were saying earlier, not a week goes by that you don't hear from someone who God has used your story and your book profoundly in their lives.   Jerry:  Yes, but it's a strange thing, there's a kind of an otherness to this book.  I actually brought it with me.  I've reread it once since I wrote it and that was when the new edition came out about five years ago, about the only time I ever cracked it.   I skimmed it a little bit yesterday and it was a strange experience, because it's almost as if I didn't write it, it has a quality of otherness to it.   As if it's not quite mine, I think the closest it would come would be the way that parents feel about their children.  Is that those children are so much a part of you but when you look at them and get to know them you realize they're so other than you, too.  And that's how I feel about this book.  Dennis:  You did tell a story before we came in the studio of a letter you have received from a woman who had a brother who was murdered.   Jerry:  And this was after 28 years.  And through those 28 years of suffering she described it as being very harsh, very hard.  She feels like she lost her mother permanently in the wake of her brother's murder and this sort of thing.   She decided that she needed to forgive the murderer of her brother, so she did research, found out where he was in the prison system and asked if she could have permission to visit him.  He sort of coldly gave her permission, and so she went to see him and God gave her two words, on the ride to see him, and these are very powerful to me. The first is, you're never beyond the reach of the grace of God, and the second is you can always become the man God wants you to be, even if you're in prison.  And she met this man, forgave him, he broke down and sobbed, came to know the Lord and their relationship continues to this day.   That's a powerful example of forgiveness, but it's a little troubling to me too, because it doesn't always happen quite that easily.  Sometimes it is a process.  It's a journey and you have to go through phases of forgiveness to get to the point where you can really wish the person well and trust them to the good hand of God and pray for them Dennis:  Your story and just what you said reminds me of Romans 12: 18, and these are powerful in my life because there's a person I've had to forgive, more than one obviously over my lifetime, but one where this is very real to me.  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God for it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay says the Lord.”   It's interesting, Jerry, as I have very imperfectly attempted to be obedient to that passage and have prayed for not only to be able to forgive and to be at peace.  As I thought about the wrath of God I've prayed for that person to be delivered from the wrath of God, because I know what that means.  It potentially could mean an eternity separated from God.   Jerry:  Oh, what a terrible burden a person has to bear for wrongdoing.   I would always choose to be the victim of wrongdoing, than to be the perpetrator of wrongdoing.   Early on that came to me, by the way, is I thought about what it would mean for me to change positions.  And I didn't want that at all.  You know, ironically, we like to claim justice.  We really want, we think we want to live in a fair world, but I'm not sure we want the world to be fair.  On the one hand maybe some bad things wouldn't happen to us that have happened to us over the years.   But grace isn't fair either and I'd rather live in a world that is unfair, knowing that I am going to take some hits along the way, as I have, and will continue to experience if I know that grace is available to me too, because  the unfairest thing in the world is grace.   I think about our Lord who had to wear a crown of thorns, the only one in all of human history who was not deserving of that crown of thorns, so that we could wear a crown of honor.  Dennis:  Hmm, what a picture Jerry:  There is no fairness in that at all. Dennis:  And the reality of that is that it all occurred through suffering.  Jerry:  It all occurred through suffering.  In fact, that is the answer to the problem of evil.  This is where the Christian answer to evil is so paradoxical and so glorious and beautiful.   The Bible's answer to suffering, is suffering, the suffering of God in human flesh.  God chooses out of his pure love for fallen humanity, to actually enter into the world.  And instead of entering it with a glorious birth, announced and heralded by sounding trumpets, he was born into a pathetic stable.  He grows up in obscurity.  He is a carpenter's son, he never gets a first rate education.  He didn't really get an education at all, except in the synagogue. He has a three year ministry, and then he suffers death on a cross.  We are talking about God doing this.  This is the Bible's answer to suffering, God's suffering and then the triumph in the resurrection. Dennis:  The apostle Peter says this about that suffering of Christ, “Beloved do not be surprised at the fiery trial which comes upon you  to test you as though something strange were happening, but rejoice, in so far as you share in Christ's sufferings, that you may be able to rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.” Jerry:  And Paul writes, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”  This is one of the strange things that's occurred in our own experience, is a rejoicing in the experience. Not because we're glad it happened, we'll never be that, bad is always bad, but because of what's come as a result. Bob:  You are talking about what is come in your own life, your own experience of God's grace in the midst of all of this.  But also, what has come through you in the book that you have written, A Grace Disguised:  How the Soul Grows through Loss.  God has used powerfully in the lives of folks sitting around this table and tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of folks who have read the book.  And God's used it in a great way to minister to them in their own sense of grief and loss.  Jerry:  But I will say, that no book, however, well read or however life-changing will ever justify, explain or excuse the pain that was visited upon us.  These are separate things altogether.  I don't like it when people sort of explain something because of the good outcome.  Joseph really gave us the right formula here, you meant it for evil, God worked it out for good, but the evil was still evil. Bob:  Yes, that's right and we don't want to do anything to try to minimize the reality of that, but in the comfort you've received from God you have been able to be faithful to do what 2 Corinthians 1 says, to comfort others with the comfort you've received.  And you do that through your book and we want to encourage listeners who are in the midst of a season of suffering or a season of loss to get a copy of the book, A Grace Disguised: How a Soul Grows Through Loss.  You can find out more about it online at FamilyLifeToday.com.   While you are on our web site you will also see information about Barbara Rainey's new book written with your daughter Rebecca Mutz.  It tells the story of the life, the short life, of your granddaughter Molly, who was born a year ago at this time and lived for seven days.   The book is called A Symphony in the Dark:  Hearing God's Voice in Seasons of Grief, and we do have copies of that book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center as well.  You can get more information about it online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call toll free, 1-800 FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.  Someone on our team will let you know how you can get either or both of these books sent to you.   We also want to be quick today to say thank you so much to those of you who help underwrite the syndication and production costs of this program, to make it possible for the program to be heard on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.  Our listeners and especially those of you who can help support this program financially, you make it possible for this program to continue and we appreciate you so much.   This month if you are able to make a donation of any amount to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, we'd like to say thank you by sending you a CD that features a conversation  we had not long ago with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, the author and the speaker on the daily radio program Revive our Hearts.   Nancy has written a book called Choosing Forgiveness and we wanted to explore what the Bible teaches about the subject of forgiveness with her.  That conversation is available as our way of saying thank you this month when you do make a donation to support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.   If your donation is online, you'll see a key code box on the donation form as you fill it out online.  Type the word “forgive” in the box and we'll send you the CD, or if you call 1-800-FLTODAY you can make your donation by phone and just mention that you would like the CD and we are happy to send it to you.  And again we appreciate you so much for partnering with us, here at the ministry of FamilyLife Today.   Tomorrow we are going to talk with a young woman who lives in NYC, about a different kind of loss than we have talked about already this week.   We are going to talk about being young and single, and wishing you were married, and dealing with the sense of loss that comes with that.  Carolyn Leutwiler is going to join us tomorrow, hope you can be back with us as well.   I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock Arkansas Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. © 2009 FamilyLife   We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.  However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.  If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?   Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com     

A Grace Disguised (Part 1) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 2) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 3) - Jerry SittserFamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Walking By Faith Through Irreversible Loss Guest:                         Jerry Sittser From the series:          A Grace Disguised (Day 2 of 3)  Bob:  Jerry Sittser understands grief and loss in a profound way.   He and three of his children escaped from a car accident that took the life of his wife, his mother and one of his four children.  How long would it take for someone to recover from a loss like that?  Here's Jerry Sittser.  Jerry Sittser:  Through a long and often difficult journey I really did discover the Christian faith is true.  Grace really is available to get us through these hard stretches of life.  The ultimate message of Christianity is not self help.  It is God's help.   Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, July 7th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.  Jerry Sittser says when the landscape of life has been permanently altered God's grace is there to help you make some sense of the loss and to give you peace.   Welcome to FamilyLife Today.  Thanks for joining us.  We have been talking a lot not just this week but in recent weeks about the subject of loss.  We're trying to help listeners understand that your responses to the loss you will experience in life will help shape you and your family and your marriage and your whole life. Dennis:  It will.  In fact, our guest on today's program is really the result of losses that Barbara and I have experienced in recent days.  In fact I want to welcome Barbara to the broadcast again.   Barbara Rainey:  Thank you. Dennis:  Thanks for joining us again Sweetheart and thanks for recommending Jerry Sittser's book A Grace Disguised. Jerry I want to welcome you to our broadcast.  Welcome back. Jerry Sittser:  Thank you.  It's a privilege.  Jerry is the professor of theology at Whitworth University in Spokane Washington.  As we mentioned earlier Jerry's book was used in our family as it was recommended to Barbara by a friend.  She started reading it after our daughter Rebecca and her husband, Jake, lost their daughter Molly after only seven days.  This book really helped Barbara and me as well as Jake and Rebecca process through how the soul processes grief.   We mentioned earlier how you lost your wife, your mom and your daughter in a tragic car wreck in 1991.  That really is the genesis of this book.  I have to ask you a big picture question.  If you could summarize what you think God is up to when He allows us to experience grief what would you say?  You've experienced it on a profound level that few people will ever experience it.  What do you think He's up to in grief? Jerry Sittser:  I am not sure I can answer that question in a word.  That's a very difficult question actually.  I think over all I would say that God is in the business of reclaiming people who have turned away from Him.  He created us in His image.  He created us to be gloriously beautiful people who participate in the divine glory.  The perfect relationship that exists between Father, Son and Holy Spirit and we've turned away from that.   That divine image has been marred and made perverse.  He wants not simply to save us.  He wants to reclaim us and restore us and one of the ways that happens like it or not is through suffering.  I honestly think suffering is necessary in the Christian faith.   It happens in lots of different ways some we can choose like the suffering that comes when we deny our appetites and practice self discipline.  John Calvin called it self denial.   Sometimes that suffering is imposed upon us through some kind of loss or tragedy.   Either way we need some kind of suffering not masochistically but honestly realistic to become the holy people God wants us to be and to draw us into a vital relationship with Him.   Bob:   Grief that we experience when we go through a loss to what extent are we in…I don't want to use the word control but to what extent do we have power over that grief?  And to what extent does the grief have power over us?  Do you know what I'm asking here? Jerry Sittser:  Well, I'll start by saying this.  I don't think God causes these things as if He were some kind of divine manipulator who hovers above the ground and zaps us with cancer or divorce or job loss or loss of portfolio or loss of a loved one.  I think that is a very poor mechanistic view of the sovereignty of God.  I think God is in it.  God's sovereignty is in it.  I don't think God causes it in that kind of crude kind of way.  I will say God uses it.  God's in it in that sense.   Our choice is whether we're going to respond to the work the sanctifying work God is trying to do in our lives.  Does grief and loss have power?  Of course it does.  It can change the entire course of our lives.   But I think the greater power is the way we respond by faith to God's work in our lives.  It's a hard thing to say.  It sounds so easy and so trivial.  Oh you know God's trying to sanctify us.  I almost resist saying it because I don't what it to come across kind of cheap as if I'm quoting a Bible answer or a Bible verse and that verse is going to make everything right.  Well, God works all things out for good for those who love Him.  I mean that is a true statement.  I believe that with all my heart but I also believe that is extraordinarily hard to work out in normal life.   Bob:  There were times when I'm sure the grief had to be…I don't know if I want to say overwhelming or just so compelling that you felt powerless against it.   Jerry Sittser:  Of course.  I think any true catastrophic loss leads to that.  That's the difference between a normal loss from which you'll recover like you're high school athlete and you break your leg and lose the season.  It's a big loss and it's hard but you're going to get your leg back again and you might be able to play another season.   There's a big difference between that kind of loss though significant and the loss of a spouse or the loss of your health.  I call those irreversible losses and I'll tell you they have power.  We're fools not to acknowledge the power they have.   Barbara:  Interestingly I was with our daughter Rebecca a couple of weeks ago and she and her husband, Jacob, had renewed hope.  They had gotten pregnant with baby #2 and then at 14 weeks gestation the baby died.  She had to deliver this still born baby at 16 weeks.  Go through the labor and delivery which was traumatic in and of itself but as I was there for a week and we had many really wonderful conversations.   During that time one of the things Rebecca said to me that was really profound was we're not as fragile as we think we are.  We feel like in these really hard times that we won't survive but she said I've learned that we can handle a lot more than we think that we can handle.  Because God strengthens us to go through these things that he takes us through.   She said I'm just amazed that I can go through this and still live.  Because you feel like you won't live.  You feel like you're going to die because of the burden of the grief.  She said I've learned we are stronger than we think we are.  We aren't as fragile as people as we imagined that we would be when looking at a situation like that. Bob:  Did you feel like you weren't going to live in the days that followed your wife's death? Jerry Sittser:  No I think that maybe that's a little too extreme.  I knew somewhere deep inside my soul that God was still God.  I had to live in this dynamic tension between acknowledging the severity of the loss on all levels.  Not just intellectual but emotional.   Grief has its way.   It is corrosive.  It gets to you.  You can push it away for a month or a few months.  You can work hard.  You can develop bad habits and do whatever you want to run away but eventually it's going to get its way.  It's going to tell you that those people are gone and they are never going to come back again.  So that's one side of things.   Acknowledging the severity of the loss on the other hand also requires us to live by faith and to recognize there is a bigger story being told.  God is somehow in this even if we don't see how He is.  Even if we don't have any evidence at our immediate disposal that God is God and God is good somehow we have to believe that that is still the case.    You have to live in that tension.  If you pretend it's not severe it's like painting over mold.  You don't want to give that mold too much power either.   Recognize that you can get rid of that mold and put on fresh paint and make that wall beautiful again.  It's a very delicate process to navigate through the months and sometimes the years involved. Bob:  So you're not saying to somebody keep a stiff upper lip and deny the anguish of your soul in the midst of grief. Jerry Sittser:  I don't think so.  I don't think the Bible teaches that either.   You look at the book of Psalms and fifty percent or about 75 of them are devoted to the Psalms of lament…The anguish of the soul in the face of unanswerable questions or so it seems at the time and unimaginable loss and grief…the trail of enemies and this kind of thing.   We have a kind of emotional handbook right in the Bible that's acknowledging the severity of these kind of losses.  I think it's not wise to pretend that they don't exist or they aren't serious.  They don't have the final word.  That's what a Christian believes.  The final word is the Resurrection.   Dennis:  Jerry, you describe a scene in the mortuary where you visited the three caskets and you asked to have them opened.  You were there alone for about an hour.  You said that point ushered you into a darkness.  Describe what took place in that setting in the mortuary? Jerry Sittser:  Well, it's difficult.  You have to use images because language just fails as it does to all people who've gone through some kind of severe loss.  I felt like I was floating just in the universe and utterly cut off and alienated.  I looked around to see billions of stars.  The world seemed like a cold impersonal place.  It was really an awful experience for me.  But it also turned out to be a significant turning point for me too.   That very night or a few nights later I had a kind of waking dream.  It was a dream but it was not like a typical dream at all.  It was very vivid and real to me.  It is to this day.  In this dream I was chasing frantically after the sun that was slowly setting in the west.  I remember as I was running that there was the frantic panicked terrifying feeling.  It was as if that sun beat me to the horizon it would never come back to me again.   Finally the sun did sink below the horizon and I stopped exhausted and looked with a sense of foreboding to the darkness from the east that was sweeping over me.  Then I awoke from the dream and I felt a kind of extastential darkness.  It was if I was going to be in this darkness for the rest of my life.  It was really a terrible feeling.   I told a cousin this dream a few days later and he reminded me of a poem written by John Donne a very famous 17th century Anglican poet.  In the poem Donne says that on a flat map east and west are far removed from each other.  The farther east you go the farther removed you are from the west.  But on a globe if you go east you eventually meet west.   Then I talked to my sister about this and she said that's the cue for you Jerry.  If you keep running west to try to stay in the fiery warmth of the setting sun you will actually stay in the darkness longer.  But if you have the courage to plunge into that darkness heading east even if you're hanging by one thin thread of faith all the sooner will you come to the sunrise.  That was really a cue for me to head into darkness and let grief have its way with me assuming that I would all the sooner come to the sunrise.   Bob:  You did have a period of darkness in the days that followed.  There was depression and daily weeping.   As we sit here 18 years later talking about trusting in God in the midst of those days it was a hard journey you were on. Jerry Sittser:  It was a hard journey.  There were lots of tears and lots of tears of my kids.  Actually the hardest period was after the tears stopped.   The tears kind of turned to brine.  It became thick and bitter.  Almost like molasses.   It didn't flow quite so easily.  That was darker still.  This is hard work.  It is for anybody who goes through a severe loss.   Dennis:   Yes and watching our daughter go through this both Barbara and I as parents have felt so powerless apart from our prayers.  There really are no words to be able to share.  Our daughter found a lot of healing and help in writing a blog.  I'll never forget one of her blog entries where she described mourning the loss of her daughter and finding comfort by crawling up into the crib and weeping for the loss of her baby girl.   As those who peer in other people's lives coach us a bit on how we can keep an appropriate distance and not be trite in what we say.  What should we say and do for that person who is entering or is in the valley of the shadow of death? Jerry Sittser:   I would say presence, consistency, patience, and symbolic gestures.  I have a young friend—well, she's not so young any more—who was the accompanist to Linda's voice students when we lived in Iowa and she has sent me a long letter and card on the anniversary of the accident for 18 years recalling incidences, sharing life and expressing sympathy.  She's never too syrupy.  I find that kind of gesture profoundly meaningful.   When we aren't affected by loss in the dailyness of life it's easy to think that after two or three months people should be getting on with the business of life because we are getting on with the business of life.  But for those who are affected in a primary kind of way they are the ones who have suffered the loss and whose landscape of life is permanently altered they are living in that for a long period of time in one sense for the rest of their lives.   Now their perspective is going to change over time.  Mt. Rainier is always 14,410 feet.   It looks a lot bigger when you're a mile away than when you are 50 miles away.  The size never changes.  Our perspective can change over time admittedly so I think that dailyness, consistency, presence and those symbolic gestures are probably the best we can do.   Then simply pick up on cues.  The cues like when they are ready to talk.  Be ready to listen.  When they really feel like they are ready to receive a word then you give it but never before that.   Dennis:  Yes. Jerry Sittser:  And what you don't want to do is use words to try to somehow push the loss and its significance away.  Sometimes words can actually exacerbate the problem rather than help the problem.  I mean Job's three friends did their best work when they just shut their mouths for a week and sat with Job on that heap of ashes.   Bob:  Barbara were there people in your life or in Jake and Rebecca's lives who did some of those same things like symbolic gestures that Jerry is talking about.   Barbara:  Yes, there have been some remarkable young men and women friends of Jacob and Rebecca's who have done things that I wouldn't have thought to do.   On the very first Easter after Molly died one of their friends brought an Easter basket that was pink with pink candy and a pink bunny and bow and left it on their front porch and said Happy Easter.  It would have never occurred to me to do that but it was a powerful statement of love.  They didn't stay themselves.  They just left it there.   So there have been those kinds of things that people have thought to do and what we've noticed and learned by watching them is if you have an idea of something like that act on it.  Because so often I think we think of an idea and think well that might not be a good thing to do.   The people who have encouraged Jacob and Rebecca the most are the ones who have had the thought to write them a note or have had the thought to drop off the Easter basket.  There have been other things too that they've thought of and acted on it. Bob:  Jerry I hear Barbara's story about the Easter basket and I think to myself boy, I don't know that I'd want to do that.  It's almost like saying here's a reminder on Easter that you lost your child nine months ago… Barbara:  They know it anyway. Jerry Sittser:  As if they aren't thinking the same thing.  Are you kidding me? Barbara:  Of course they think about it. Jerry Sittser:  We did a lot of things as a family, too.  We always observe the anniversary of the accident and at key milestones we'd have dinner parties and I'd invite our key community of friends over and we'd observe it and I'd thank them.   My wife Linda would have been 60 in April and I talked to all of my kids and we kind of laughed about what it would be like for them to have a 60 year old mother.  We have been pretty mindful of these important milestones along the way even after all these years.  It's not at all bitter any more.  We have a lot of good stories that have happened in these last 18 years.  It's been very rich and meaningful for us but we still are mindful of this loss and these important dates and milestones.    Dennis:  Sometimes the grief will be expressed in a phone conversation or in person or in a letter or email where it's clear that the person is truly grieving.  At that moment they are really hurting.   Recently I received an email from our daughter and her husband just around what they were experiencing and I started weeping.  I just wept.  I thought what can I say?  I just wrote back an email that said I'm weeping with you, Dad.Jerry Sittser:  Yes.    Dennis:  I think many times in our desire to help as you just exhorted us Jerry it's back to that statement—I have regretted my speech but never my silence.  Sometimes the gift of presence and being there and letting someone know you are praying for them and you are there for them may be all that's needed in that moment.  Never underestimate the power of a human being touching another life at a point of tremendous trauma and hurt in a catastrophic loss like you experienced. Bob:  And coming alongside with a gift like a copy of Jerry's book and you can say you may not want to read this right now but at the right time I believe this book will minister to you in a profound way.   We have copies of Jerry's book called A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.  We would love to send you a copy.  Go to our web site FamilyLife Today.com.  Again that's FamilyLifeToday.com.  You can order online from us if you'd like or if it's easier call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  That's 1-800-358-6329.   Let me also mention a book you have written Barbara along with your daughter Rebecca when your granddaughter Molly was born and lived for seven days before she died.  That book is called A Symphony in the Dark: Hearing God's Voice in Seasons of Grief.  You can find more information about that book on our web site as well FamilyLife Today.com.  Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  That's 1 800 “F”as in family “L” as in life and then the word TODAY.   We also want to take a couple of minutes and say thanks to those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife Today by making donations on a regular basis.  We are listener supported.  The costs associated with producing and syndicating are underwritten by those of you who contact us to make a donation to keep us on the air and to support the other ministries of FamilyLife.   We do appreciate that support and in fact this month we'd like to say thank you if you're able to support the ministry with a donation of any amount.  We sat down not long ago with Nancy Leigh DeMoss the author of a number of books and the host of the daily radio program Revive Our Hearts.  We talked to her about the issue of forgiveness and what the Bible has to say about choosing to forgive.  Nancy has written a great book called Choosing Forgiveness and if you'd like to receive a CD of our conversation with her on this subject you can make a donation this month of any amount to the ministry of FamilyLife Today and simply request the CD as a thank you gift.   If you're making that donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com all you have to do is type the word “forgive” in the key code box on the donation form and we'll know to send a copy of the CD to you. Or call toll-free 1 800 FLTODAY.  Make your donation over the phone and just ask for the CD of our conversation with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  Again we are happy to send it to you and we do appreciate your support of this ministry.  Thanks for partnering with us.   Tomorrow we'll talk about how we can be used by God to bring comfort to others as they experience loss and hope you can be with us as we continue our conversation with Jerry Sittser.I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. © 2009 FamilyLife   We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.  However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.  If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?   Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com     

The early church distinguished itself from the Roman and Jewish religions by adopting a "third way." Fitch and Moore sit down with historian Jerry Sittser to talk about what we can learn from the ancient church about evangelism, identity, and worship. Jerry Sittser is the author of the recent book, "Resilient Faith: How the Early Christian "Third Way" Changed the World." He is a professor of theology at Whitworth University in Spokane, Washington, where he also serves as senior fellow and researcher in the Office of Church Engagement.

Sibyl Towner and Joan Kelley join Sharon Swing to discuss 'A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Thru Loss,' by Jerry Sittser.You can purchase the book here on Amazon.Here is the book's description:With vulnerability and honesty, Jerry Sittser walks through his own grief and loss to show that new life is possible - one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple blessings.Loss came suddenly for Jerry Sittser. In an instant, a tragic car accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his young daughter. While most of us will not experience such a catastrophic loss in our lifetime, all of us will taste it. And we can, if we choose, know the grace that transforms it.A Grace Disguised plumbs the depths of our sorrows, whether due to illness, divorce, or the loss of someone we love. The circumstances are not important; what we do with those circumstances is. In coming to the end of ourselves, we can come to the beginning of a new life.If you are interested in becoming equipped to facilitate others thru 'Listen to My Life' life mapping materials, you can get more information about our upcoming Facilitator Certification Workshop, November 18-20 in the Chicago Area. You can find more information here: https://onelifemaps.lpages.co/november_2019-facilitator-certification-workshop-landing-pagePlease explore www.onelifemaps.com to download a free introduction booklet to 'Listen to My Life: Maps for Recognizing and Responding to God in My Story,' that contains the artwork we refer to in this episode. You can purchase your 'Listen to My Life' portfolio on that website, too.Sharon Swing and others on our team offer one-on-one coaching or spiritual direction as guidance thru the 'Listen to My Life' experience in addition to virtual coaching groups that happen several times a year.Please join us for a virtual journey thru 'Listen to My Life' starting September 10, 2019 with Sharon Swing, Sibyl Towner and Joan Kelley. Find out more at: https://onelifemaps.lpages.co/september-2019-listen-to-my-life-virtual-workshop-landing-pageAudio Meditations as a Thank You for Your SupportWe're on a mission to help people recognize and respond to God in their story. Will you help? Become a patron of OneLIfe Maps at the $5 a month or more level at http://www.patreon.com/onelifemaps recieve access to recorded audio meditations that are created to assist you in becoming self-aware and God-aware.Sibyl Towner and I (Sharon Swing), co-authored the 'Listen to My Life: Maps for Recognizing and Responding to God in My Story' visual maps, and we produce the oneLifemaps podcast along with our friend and Director of Facilitator Development, Joan Kelley.We are offering you the opportunity to support the continuation of the oneLifemaps podcast and the publishing of 'Listen to My Life' in and weekly audio meditations as a token of our appreciation.If we can serve you, please let us know by emailing us here.EquipmentWe've had some questions about our podcasting equipment. Here is what we use, with links to Amazon included:Recorder https://amzn.to/2WoWgOsMicrophones: https://amzn.to/2SuA27bMicrophone Stands: https://amzn.to/2UcPdnbHeadset: https://amzn.to/2T8loHSMicrophone Wind Screens: https://amzn.to/2T7xlh3Headset Extension Cords: https://amzn.to/2VsuPP0Headset Cable Splitter: https://amzn.to/2tGMoyP Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

LISTENER SURVEY Please take a few minutes to respond to our listener survey so we can get to know you better. You'll be entered to win your choice of a $10 Amazon gift card or a signature Devoted Dreamers mug! ABOUT THIS EPISODE  God created you for a reason. This is our theme for the month of March, and in this episode, Julie Watson shares how she fought back fear and a lack of confidence to pursue the dreams God has given her for the one life she has to live. Through Julie's story we are reminded how God often calls us into places where we feel incompetent, like we can't do it, or are just too full of fear to move forward (think of Moses). But He meets us in our “gaps,” and He grows us when we say “yes” despite our objections to the challenges before us. Julie reveals the truth about the training, education or preparation you need to pursue your dream – and it's probably not what you think! Finally, she asks a poignant question towards the end that helps us think about what we really want for our life and our dream. Julie is a certified health coach and life coach and a newly published author. After battling with her own health and life struggles, she is passionate about helping women increase their health so they can live out the life they're called to live. She believes we are created for more, to flourish not flounder in our everyday life. Julie lives in the country with her husband and their combined family of five children. In her free time, she can be found writing, researching, running, teaching others about healthy living, and connecting with friends over a great cup of coffee. You'll find the show notes here: http://www.merrittonsa.com/podcast/112   CONNECT WITH JULIE:Website || Instagram || Facebook     MENTIONED ON THE SHOW: Google “I Am” statements as a reminder of your identity in Christ The four pillars mentioned in Julie's book, True Health: True health Realizing your potential Understanding you Enlightenment by the Holy Spirit   RECOMMENDED RESOURCES: Books Battle Ready by Kelly Balarie High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod Dream by Dutch Sheets 4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice by Mark Virkler   Not mentioned in our conversation, but Julie shared this book with me later as a great resource for anyone dealing with grief or wondering how to respond to friends and loved ones who are: A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss by Jerry Sittser                                                                                                   GET MORE INVOLVED...BECOME A DEVOTED DREAMERS PATRON Your monthly contribution helps us ensure the podcast makes it to your earbuds each week!   GET CONNECTED: Find your tribe in the Devoted Dreamers Insiders Facebook Group where you can connect with other like-minded women in pursuit of their God-shaped dreams. Leave your review of the show on Apple Podcasts/iTunes or Stitcher Subscribe on Apple Podcasts * Subscribe on Android   Some links to products listed here are affiliate links. When you click those and make a purchase, I earn a commission that supports this podcast. Thanks for your support!

Courtney Reissig tells the harrowing story of the birth of her fourth child, Ben. Some problems cropped up late in the pregnancy that threatened both of their lives and left some emotional scarring in its wake.Show Notes and ResourcesIf you or anyone you know has lost a child, you know the grief can consume you. Nancy Guthrie and Jerry Sittser share vulnerably about biblical hope in the face of unthinkable tragedy.

A spiritual riddle to the modern mind: A desert monk burns all of his baskets as a means of fighting off the so-called “Noonday Demon.” Evan Rosa interviews celebrated writer Kathleen Norris, author of The Cloisterwalk, Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith, Dakota: A Spiritual Geography, and the Quotidian Mysteries, about her 2008 book, Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer’s Life—discussing ancient Christian spirituality and the deadly vice of acedia, with commentary from theologian Jerry Sittser. Acedia was taken off the list of deadly vices in the 6th century, only to rear its ugly head in contemporary technological life. Has the noonday demon been haunting you? Well, now you’ll know its name.

Chair of the theology department at Whitworth College, Jerry Sittser is the author of several books including A Grace Disguised, A Grace Revealed, The Will of God as a Way of Life and Water from a Deep Well. He holds a master of divinity degree from Fuller Theological Seminary and a doctorate in history from the University of Chicago. During his presentation he will weave in some of his own personal story of loss as he focuses on how adversity in general and suffering in particular can be formative in the Christian life.

Jerry Sittser specializes in the History of Christianity, Christian Spirituality, and Religion in American Public Life.His course on the history and practice of Christian Spirituality meets over January Term in the wintry beauty of Tall Timber, a Christian camp located in a remote area of the Cascade mountain range.Students live together for three weeks, follow a modified Benedictine Rule, and explore various spiritual traditions that have emerged throughout the history of Christian spirituality. He is also chair of the MA in Theology program at Whitworth and director of the Certification in Ministry program. He has written seven books, too.He is currently doing research on the history of "catechesis," which refers to how the church has trained people in the faith over the past 2,000 years.

Gerald Sittser has taught at Whitworth since 1989. He specializes in the history of Christianity and American religion, though his most popular courses are Introduction to the Christian Faith and Christian Spirituality. Jerry Sittser specializes in the History of Christianity, Christian Spirituality, and Religion in American Public Life. He is also chair of the MA in Theology program at Whitworth and director of the Certification in Ministry program. He has written seven books, too. He is currently doing research on the history of "catechesis," which refers to how the church has trained people in the faith over the past 2,000 years. Sittser won the Hope College Distinguished Alumni Award in 2009. He has also been voted Most Influential Professor seven times by the Whitworth senior class

This is one of the most perplexing questions for all Christians. In this episode of The Illumined Heart, host Kevin Allen engages author and theologian Dr. Jerry Sittser, author of the book "When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayer", in an honest conversation about this often ignored question. His answers are not academic or simply formulaic and come from the deep and hard places.