Podcasts about judger

...for Diddy that is. MY Diddy, not that one. I'm not as distraught as you might think however, For now. Techledo! I went to buy one of my collectibles and while I was expecting a jump in price, I didn't expect it go from $25 to 30. That's 20% and I don't think it's the greed some might say it is. It's tariffs stupid. Oh, I remember! The tired-of-the-economy voters MAY be reaching a point of true regret for their November vote. Reading words of a local judge speaking of last week's tragedy I was reminded of another local Judger, Lindsey Navarre, whom was on the pod several years ago. I think. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

   Feeling judged? Here's Why—Being judged hurts, but it says more about them than you. Here's the reason and how to confidently flip the tables to your favor.   1. Judgement Speaks Volumes About the Judger 2. Fear of Difference and the Unknown 3. Only Two Positions- Open/Closed 4. The Closed Position 5. Evolving Toward Open Work with Me: Consultation: The Dating Games Guide: Dating Games Decoded Bundle: The Older Women | Younger Men Dating Guide: Older Women and Younger Men Bundle: Books: Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache Audible Allowing Magnificence; Living the Expanded Version of Your Life - Book and Audiobook: Connect with Me! Website: susanwinter.net YouTube: YouTube Channel Instagram: Instagram Profile Twitter: Twitter Profile Facebook: Facebook Page LinkedIn: LinkedIn Profile TikTok: TikTok Profile

Second Date Update Update Week: Remember the judgy judger? She's just gonna be fat its in her DNA... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Second Date Update Update Week: Remember the judgy judger? She's just gonna be fat its in her DNA... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Since this entire podcast is based on the Myers-Briggs system as well as the Enneagram, I highly recommend you listen to episode 2 and 3 at some point. For a quick review the Ox is a stable rule follower… think Ox living in a stable, the Lion is brave and craves freedom, the Eagle is independent, curious and proud, and the Human is emotional and relational. Lions and Eagles are challengers and difficult to parent! You will also hear me referring to “Types 1-9” and this comes from Episode 3 which is an introduction to an amazing system for growing human potential called the Enneagram. Today's episode applies to every human being on the planet! The perceiving and judging functions J and P in the Myers-Briggs system, determine how we live our lives. The P types are driving a convertible through life with the wind in their hair an no particular destination in mind. The J types are driving a sedan on a highway with a GPS. They are more serious, intentional, and structured. But what happens when you mix the two up and put them all under one roof? Opposites attract so there is a chance you could be a J married to a P. I will give a quick test in this episode so you can get an idea which one you are. We live in a J society but the Ps in our life make things fun. I was doing a seminar and one of the Lion dads was cracking a joke, and I made the mistake of saying your Pness is showing. I will never live that one down and will never do that again! Stay tuned to the end for five amazing tips for working with your P child. Perceiving and Judging, P or J, Free Spirit or Rule Follower Judgers live their lives by following the rules, checking things off the box, making lists, and sticking to time frames. Perceivers live their lives much more spontaneously, forging their own path and leaving their options open. The P or Perceiving and J or Judging preferences are most likely impacting your household in the biggest way since these preferences determine how we live our life on a day-to-day, minute-to-minute basis. Perceivers crave freedom and a top-down, wind-in-your-hair, convertible way of living life. Judgers crave structure and a more top-up, neatly coiffed, sedan existence. A true Perceiver is driving a convertible, without a GPS, on an off-the-beaten path, curvy road. A true Judger is in a sedan with a GPS on a straight, well-traveled highway. Many people bristle at the term Judger because people automatically associate it with being judgmental. However, Judging functions help us make decisions and limit our possibilities. Everyone has two Judging functions and two Perceiving functions that make up their personality. If there were no Judging functions, we would all be sitting around like useless blobs, unable to decide when to eat, sleep, or do anything else. Since all children tend to be somewhat free-spirited, these preferences can be harder to detect when they are younger. Perceivers hate being inhibited with too many boundaries, so it is possible that you will notice an extreme reaction when you stand in the way of their freedom. They prefer the unconventional way of doing things and tend to have difficulty finishing what they started. They also frequently struggle to be on time, follow directions, or stick to a plan. Judging children like to learn the “right way” to do something and are willing to follow conventional parenting styles. They like finishing what they start and knowing what to expect. It might sound like a Judging child is every parent's dream. For the most part, they are a bit easier to understand, but I get plenty of calls about Judging types that are too controlling. I worked with an amazing adoptive mom of four kids. I want to give a shout out to all my adoptive parents because you are some of the most amazing parents on the planet! Please share this podcast if you are friends with an adoptive parent. Sometimes these parents don't get to know these children as babies. It is the same way with the step parents I work with. This mom told me she had a voice inside her head that was always wondering if her kids were happy in their new home. One of her daughters, in particular, seemed quiet and reserved. No matter what this mom did to connect with this daughter, it didn't seem to register. She thought this daughter may have had some kind of attachment issue. Once we worked together, she realized that they were brain opposites. This mother's natural way of parenting was to be energetic, positive, full of surprises and spontaneity. She is an ENFP, extroverted feeling Human, a type seven, on the Enneagram.  Her daughter was a  reserved, structured and serious ISTJ introverted sensing thinking Ox type. We laughed as I suggested the mom do something completely counterintuitive. She should offer to do a puzzle with her daughter. This mom had never done a puzzle in her life! The daughter absolutely loved it! She loved just hanging out side-by-side with no pressure to talk, while doing a quiet activity. This mom, April Fallon, who is now host of the ADOPTION NOW podcast shared this quote with me. “Roadmap is what I say to people when I tell them about you. You gave us the map for our family and how we all function together. From the moment we met with you our whole lives changed. Learning who is an introvert and extrovert and helping my husband understand my son has transformed their relationship. His understanding of me changed too and now he is nicer to me too! The realization that one of my daughters is exactly the same as him was an eye-opener. I learned how to love them better and help them feel understood. I call them the koala bears. They love to achieve but only because they want the people they love close to them. They are the snuggly people. Three of us are team creative, however one of us is introverted and needs time away in her room. We designed her room to have a happy place that she has learned to adore. And finally, my Type 9 peacemaker, reserved daughter (the one I do puzzles with) notices everything and takes it in. Recently we found out she has auditory processing disorder and that was because we could pull apart what was personality versus what was a real issue. Once we found out, we could support her in the way she needs. She loves one on one time, verbal praise, and outdoor activities like hiking. I never ever ever wonder how or if she loves us or is happy anymore. I know her love runs deep and giving her a space to show it in her own way has been so healing.” If you would like to get the road map for understanding your family and having more peace in your home, go to WendyGossett.com and sign up for my Understanding Your Family 101 Session. You can also purchase my book on Amazon. Your Childs Inner Drive Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens.   I worked with a mom, who is the only J or structured one in a family of P freedom seekers. She has often felt like she was paddling upstream, forcing her will upon everyone. She would schedule practice hours for her boys to do sports and keep close tabs on them. All her expectations weren't adding up. Everyone in her family needed freedom, which was the opposite of her parenting style. I had to ask her what was more important; the correction or the connection. I've had to ask this question to many parents when they are fighting battles over a clean room or how to load the dishwasher. Ask yourself what is more important; correction or connection? Over and over again, I have seen a huge change occur when the parents shift their focus to connection rather than correction. Her boys are both lion P types that had to learn from life and find their own way. It was difficult for her, an extroverted, thinking Ox, type one on the Enneagram, but she realized she had to let them fail. And failure is not as scary as you may think. Some people learn from failing. Whenever a baby is learning to walk, they have to fall over and over again. Pushing themselves up off the floor helps them get stronger. The most successful business people actually try to fail. They make a goal to fail five times in a month because failing means they are trying new things which leads to confidence and success. And it just so happens that P types who explore and try possibilities without thinking of the consequences are some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world. I'm getting these statistics from Myers Briggs. Sometimes Lion P types don't enjoy school. What comes naturally to them is being free to use their body in physical, practical pursuits. They like to learn from the school of hard knocks. Some J types use perfectionism as an excuse to not try. Often I have seen perfectionism as a mask for fear. so if you are a structured J parent pulling your hair out because your P child is not falling into line, chances are if you make connection your priority, they may not fall in line but they will land on their feet.  The T Thinking or Prickly and F Feeling or pleasing preferences I talk about in episode 6, play a significant role in how our child Judges or Perceives. If your child is a Thinker and a Judger or TJ, they will be very determined, rigid, and unyielding, which can make them very difficult to parent! If your child is a Feeler and a Perceiver or FP, pleasing you will be ALMOST as important to them as having the freedom to do things their way. They may still have meltdowns that seem to materialize out of nowhere, but for the most part, they are relaxed, go-with-the-flow children. If your child is a Thinker and a Perceiver or TP, get ready for a topsy-turvy time! One minute, they might be playful and relaxed, and the next minute, determined and unyielding. If your child is a Feeler and a Judger or FJ, sit back, make yourself a cup of tea, and relax. This child wants to please, desires structure, and thrives with conventional parenting. Parents with Feeling/Judging children as their firstborn often end up with a false sense of pride in their parenting ability. They can unintentionally make other parents feel inferior, causing them to question their parenting capabilities. Sadly, I was one of those parents. I painted my entire kitchen while my twelve-month-old son was perfectly content simply being in the same room with me, playing in his bouncy chair. My husband, Greg, and I were completely humbled when our Thinking/Perceiving daughter was born. We soon realized why bookstores are filled with so many parenting books! She was, and still is, an uncontained free spirit who plays by her own rules. If you are a Judging parent with a Perceiving child, take heart. Since we live in a Judging society that runs by rules, time frames, and deadlines, Perceivers tend to look more like Judgers as they mature and are “nurtured” by parents, teachers, and societal norms. In fact, this is one of the most common testing mistypes. Mature Perceivers who have learned to play efficiently by societal rules think they are Judgers. I was collaborating with a talented young programmer who had taken my test. Prior to our first meeting, I received his test result, which identified him as one of the most cautious and conservative J types. The minute I met him, I noticed he had an entire sleeve of brightly colored tattoos. Later, he informed me that the tattoos were the entire story of Dante's Inferno, and he was going to have the other arm done in black and white. I was pretty sure he had mis-tested himself. I don't want to fall into stereotyping, but I have seen thousands of patterns that usually fall into predictable outcomes. I am sure there are rare exceptions of extreme conservative J types with two complete tattoo sleeves, but there aren't many! Not only that, but a person's occupation also gives a great indication of their type. This programmer was very out of the box and creative, which are all traits of another type that has all the same letters, except for that oh-so-critical, free-spirited P. An ISTP and an ISTJ are very different, indeed! Email me at wendy@wendygossett.com to receive a an illustrated chart that shows these patterns. You will also find the quick test to determine who is J or P in your family. You will either be a P for Perceiving or a J for Judging. Keep in mind that 50ish% of the world are Perceivers and 50ish% are Judgers, although as adults, many Perceivers mis-test as Judgers since they have learned how to fit in with a Judging society. [1]   Perceiver Judger freedom structure spontaneous planned flexible procedures solid procedures change routine out of the box within the lines experience it control it relaxed hurried start it finish it P J               If you found it hard to pick one and felt tied on both you are most likely an introvert. I use the analogy of Js being sedans and Ps being convertibles, but  introverts are hybrids, meaning they are a little bit of both. If they are a J type, it means they are driving a sedan or in other words they like structure in the way they live their life, but their brain is Open and less decisive, just perceiving the world and taking it in. It's like they are driving a sedan on a road with no map. If you are an introverted P type. It's like you are driving a convertible but your brain is on a highway with a GPS. This type is concerned about their identity and can be stubborn when they set their mind to something. I worked with two introverted sensing Ox parents. They were about as structured and by the book as you could get. They had an introverted feeling Lion son, since he was a feeler Lion, he was very relational, compliant and easy-going throughout elementary school and junior high. When he got to high school, however he went off the rails. He had been following his parents rules his entire life, and because he was so relaxed it worked for him, but when he got to high school and could see his adult life looming before him, he realized he had to discover who he was. He had to discover what he stood for. His relaxed, convertible way of living, switched over to his decisive identity seeking brain. He went on a vision quest up in the mountains to become a ski instructor rather than going straight to college like his parents had always planned. Again, these parents had to decide what was more important. Their connection with their son or their expectations.  Here is an opposite story. An extroverted sensing thinking Lion child hated school. He just wanted to have fun and do sports. By the way, sports are the guard rails that will keep your Lions on track with their grades. They love sports and they love being competitive so this can be the motivation to help them get through school. By the time he was a senior, he still had no direction and had no idea what he wanted to do. His parents had a friend who worked as a sports medicine doctor. They let their son shadow him. Lions learn from watching and doing much more than learning from a textbook or hearing a lecture. His tactile extroverted sensory intelligence combined with his analytical introverted, thinking brain realized he could do exactly what this sports medicine doctor was doing. All of a sudden, he was the most determined Lion you ever saw. He went to school and studied from six in the morning to eight at night and became a surgeon making up for all his playing throughout school. If you have a story to share from your family, I would love to feature it on the podcast! Just email me at WendyGossett.com. Here are some tips for parenting, the P types in your household. 1.Your child is not wired for structured schedules. If they are doing well in school, be grateful because what comes naturally to them is to do their own thing in their own time. Luckily, they are competitive, which might motivate them to work hard in school. When they are home, they want to settle into their comfort zone and have more freedom to play and explore. Whenever you can make things fun or a game. Try making a morning routine playlist with a song for each task on the list. Rehearse the routine to make sure each song is the right length. If they can finish each task by the time the song ends and get down to breakfast, they can get a special treat they picked out. Music also works to make chores more fun. Research has shown that music makes anyone more cooperative. Have a tidy up the house dance party. Quick, in the moment rewards work best for P children. Speaking of fun, board games are more of a J thing. You can make game time more fun by adding an action element or a silly element. Games like Throw Throw Burrito where you get to run around our favorites of P children.   2.As a J Parent who likes plans, plan a time each day to be unplanned. A J parent with a P child needs to plan to be unplanned. All kids need structure, but P children need freedom just as much.  3.Don't lecture! Have clear rules and consequences for serious crimes.  The consequence speak for themselves. Ps need freedom so let them negotiate when it is a misdemeanor and not a crime. There's more to this, but that is the quick version. 4.Ps believe there is more than just one way to do things. if you are a perfectionist, you may need to have Elsa‘s anthem playing on repeat in your head. “Let it go”. Tell them the end goal you would like and let them pick the order or timeframe it's completed in. 5.. P Children often have ADHD. My daughter and son were both diagnosed. My daughter is a P and my son is a hybrid introverted J with that P brain…haha he just completed the MCAT but he has a P brain which is on a country road with no map. You can listen to episodes 11 and 12 where I interview both of them to hear more about this. All P types want the quick fix to life's problems because they want to get on with the fun. She wanted us to put her on ADHD medication. We hesitated with this decision for many months, but finally we came up with the idea to put her on a placebo and see if her performance would improve if she thought she was on the medication. We didn't let the teacher know but positive progress reports started coming home. Because my daughter is a sensor and very aware of her body as well as details and her environment she soon figured out the pill was a fake. She begged us to put her on the real medication. Once she was on it, she absolutely hated it because she felt like she was in a box. She couldn't be her normal, silly self and have the freedom in her spirit that she craved as a Lion. Life taught her that hard work was better than a pill. If you have P children in your home, I would also suggest you listen to episode seven and eight which are interviews with extroverted P types. All extroverted P types are driving a convertible through life and they are on a country road with no map! They are 100% perceiver!    Lion perceivers are different from Eagle and human perceivers. One is sensory and the other is intuitive and it makes a big difference in the behavior. Check out episode 13 on sensing and intuition.   My closing thought for today is from Abraham Lincoln. “In the end it's not the years in your life that count it's the life in your years. P types are playful and help us to enjoy life.” But for my J types out there which I am one and by the way, I am a sedan on a highway with the GPS so I am 100%  a J! But because I am intuitive I am a little more P like.  I also have a quote keeping the J types in mind. Here is a quote from Pele one of the worlds, most famous soccer players. Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying sacrifice, and most of all love of what you do. Email me at Wendy@WendyGossett.com for the other chart I mentioned in the episode. Website: Get FREE resources at Wendygossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting or on my podcast page. Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett  

Luke and Jeriney got invited to Adventureland to taste some of the new foods. Little did we know how seriously Luke would take it!

Show Notes Podcast   I am in the trenches of parenting older teens and young adults myself, and it is not easy. And many of the people I work with come to me wanting support in their parenting given today's challenges. I'm teaching five skills you'll want to adopt in your parenting tool kit no matter how old or young your children are, the skills your child needs in order to navigate the unique challenges of today.   If you've ever found yourself feeling worried for your teen, out of your element, or even at a complete loss of how to help your teen, you'll want to learn and implement these five skills, it's never too late.    I've boiled it down to five skills I believe teens and young adults need these days to face their future with more self-trust, and if they implement these skills, they will be far more prepared for the unique challenges and difficulties today's world presents.   Join me on this episode to discover what to do with negative emotion, how to support your older child when they're struggling, and how to apply all the concepts we learn here on the podcast and practice them in their everyday lives.   If you want to take what you're learning on the podcast and apply it to your unique circumstances, you need to join the Dare Greatly Society! It has individualized support for your marriage, family life, and that dream in your heart. Click here for more details.    What You'll Learn on this Episode:    5 vital skills your teen or young adult needs to navigate today's world How to be the Allower of emotions, versus the Judger, so you can build more confidence and self-trust. What keeps us stuck in low self-worth and what to do instead. Where real self-worth comes from and how to help your kids identify it in themselves. How to assess what your unique strengths are and how to lead with them versus swimming in unhelpful comparisons How you'll have so much more confidence, peace, and clarity in your parenting when you use these skills as a foundation for guiding your children.   Mentioned on the show:   Grab the Cheat Sheet for Parenting Teens and Young Adults here! Coaching changed the way I enjoyed motherhood and honored my dreams in my heart, and I've witnessed it change the lives of hundreds of parents and young adults since. Click here to work with me for three months. (You'll be amazed at what working with a coach for just three months can do.) Come check out the Dare Greatly Society. Sign up for Coaching for Men by clicking here, six week coaching series special offer. (space is limited.) Stream more of my music on Spotify where I share my original music as well as new releases shared on the podcast. 

Are you a judger or a learner in the questions you ask? As coaches, we should always be refining our skills with a methodology that we bring forward for our clients, and no one exemplifies that better than my guest today. Join us to learn the importance of the questions we ask and the mindset behind them!Marilee Adams, Ph.D., is an award-winning author and pioneer in the fields of inquiry-based coaching, leadership, and organizational effectiveness. She is also an executive coach, coach educator, keynote speaker, and the originator of the Question Thinking™ methodologies. She is the CEO/Founder of the Inquiry Institute, a consultant for organizations large and small, an affiliate instructor for Weatherhead Executive Education at Case-Western Reserve University, and served for ten years as an Adjunct Professor of Leadership at the School of Public Affairs at American University. Her bestselling book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Results, is a mainstay for coaches everywhere. Dr. Adams and her team at the Inquiry Institute provide training for coaches, leaders, and teams in the Question Thinking™ methodology, working with many high-powered organizations and leaders across the world. Show Highlights:How Marilee uses the Choice Map as a multipurpose tool–get your free copy today by taking a short survey at www.inquiryinstitute.com The basics of Question Thinking™ Why Marilee feels a responsibility to educate and empower clients far beyond coachingAn exercise to understand the Question Thinking™ model of two mindsets, the judger and the learnerHow Marilee uses the tool in a session with a client to guide them with questions in a targeted wayAn example of the power of a question to shift perspective, possibility, and moodWhy we can't get stuck in the effort to ask “the perfect question”Why does asking, “What do I want this question to accomplish?” have a different impact and focus?Takeaways from Marilee in the form of impactful quotes from her book: “A question not asked is a door not opened. Every question missed is a potential opportunity lost. Every question missed is a potential crisis waiting to happen. Great results begin with great questions.” Resources:Connect with Dr. Marilee Adams and the Inquiry Institute: WebsiteGet your copy of the free Choice Map here.Get Dr. Adams' bestselling book: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and ResultsNeed CCUs? Explore The Essence of Mastery Summit and receive $180 off by using “Meg” as your VIP code. Explore past episodes and other resources at www.STaRcoachshow.com. Explore the STaR Coach Community and see what's available there for you!

Episode 113: Kender du det at være spontan?  Vi har alle et ønske om frihed og spontanitet og for orden og struktur i vores liv. Og i dag taler vi om, hvordan vi opnår at få dækket disse behov på forskellige måde alt efter om vi er det, der i Myers-Briggs systemet har en præference for enten at være judger eller perceiving. Tak til Yuiliana Wijaya fra Yuliana Music Studio for musikken. Podcastværter: Laura Obel og Pia ObelFølg os eventuelt på Misforståetpodcast på InstagramOg endnu vigtigere T A K fordi du lytter med. Venlig hilsen Laura og Pia fra Misforstået-podcast

Today I'm happy to welcome Lori Davis to the show. Lori is the host of the Her Half of History podcast. She holds a degree in History and her graduating thesis was on women and literacy rates in the early territorial period of New Mexico. She's spent her career dabbling through the corporate world, freelance writing, freelance music gigs, and private piano teaching. She says that her podcast is a happy return to the intersection of women, history, and words. We get into the fascinating story of the life and legend of Rosa Maria Egipcíaca da Vera Cruz, also simply known as Rosa Egipcíaca, a Nigerian slave and later freedwoman, renowned religious mystic and author, and founder of a convent for former prostitutes in colonial Rio de Janeiro. FOLLOW: You can find Lori online at her website and blog, herhalfofhistory.com, @herhalfofhistory on Instagram and Facebook, and @her_half on Twitter. LISTEN: You can listen to the Her Half of History podcast on iTunes, Spotify, and most other popular pod streaming platforms. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thegirlfriendgod/message

Are you in the judger pit? Are you allowing fear-based reactions to shrink you and minimize your impact on your business? Here's the truth: failure, shame, and guilt are all messy and normal parts of the entrepreneurial journey. It feels risky and vulnerable to admit our failures, but we can't let them keep us from moving forward. Let's reframe how we think about our experience and journey as entrepreneurs so we don't give into the tendency to hide our messy parts. Join us to learn more in today's episode! Profit by Design is a Tap the Potential Production.   Show Highlights: A real-life example of a failed 4 week vacation®️, the gremlins that attack us, and the lessons we can learn from a failure Why EVERY attempt at a 4 week vacation®️ is a test that reveals the truth about our systems and team members The mindset framework of the Judger pit vs. a personal development journey How Dr. Marilee Adams' Choice Map Tool (from her book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work) can help you discern the judger path vs. the learner path How we have seasons in our businesses, like my big season of learning from the COVID pandemic Why you need support and resources, and how we can help! Book a call with us today! Links and Resources: Connect with Take the Better Business, Better Life Assessment: www.tapthepotential.com/assessment   Join the Tap the Potential Community on Mighty Networks: www.tapthepotential.com/group    Let us help you and your business! Book a call with us today!  Let us help you manage your time, your most valuable resource! Get your FREE copy of the Tap the Potential Strategic Planner for 2023 at www.tapthepotential.com/planner. Download Dr. Sabrina's Introductory Training: How to Make Your Time Worth $10,000 an Hour

 Imagine you enter a messy room,.. How do you feel?Can we compare our mind with a messy room, when we are distracted? The first Method: In our mind we have many voices that are arguing, negotiating, or even disturbing us…If we deny one of these voices, we support this voice with energy and strengthen it.For instance, a devotee went to his guru and complained that his mind was chattering all the time so he could not meditate or find peace…The guru said: don't think on mice, if you think on a mouse punish yourself… Because if you think about mice you eventually become a mouse in your next life…  The devotee went home and was wondering why his Guru had told him not to think on mice? He has never thought on mice before… But when he started with his meditation; he was continuously thinking about mice… It became worse and worse… What you deny/neglect/suppress/fight that you empower…So we watch our thoughts and don't fight against them.We give our different voices unique names so we can identify them without fighting …For instance.The complainerThe critic Inner childSuperegoPerfectionistAnxiousAngerMotherBrotherSisterFatherDarlingJustificationPoliceJudgerPoliticianSellerBuyerGreedyBoringCreative….When a voice wants to say something we let the voice say something to us.  Afterwards we say: “thank you for sharing.” Or if we don't have time, please wait, share your opinion in an hour or so… (be truthful and definitive).Through the discrimination of our different voices and watching them, they will lose their power over us… Quote: If you call a demon by his name, he becomes weaker… The second Method:We make every day 3 times brainstorming for 5 minutes and write down every single thought…After a month, we read all of our thoughts. Then we identify our thinking pattern that repeats and again…  So if we run the next time in the same pattern we already have identified, we simply notify that…  And the thinking pattern will lose so their power over us. My Video: Techniques to calm down our mind https://youtu.be/EGbvdwqPGBAMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast1/Techniques-to-calm-down-our-mind.mp3  

SHOW NOTES: In This week's Mind ReMapping Moment, we talk about Knowing Your Child's Relationship to Structure & Time according to Myers Briggs. We explore the fascinating topic of personality traits and their impact on time management. We delve into the contrasting characteristics of perceivers and judgers, providing insights on how understanding these traits can help parents support their children effectively. Perceivers vs. Judgers Perceivers are individuals who thrive on flexibility and adaptability, while judgers prefer structure and organization. Perceivers often struggle with time management and organization, while judgers excel at planning and meeting deadlines. Maiysha shares a personal story about her experience as a perceiver and how she found a balance between structure and freedom by allocating specific time for writing chapters. Nurturing Perceiver and Judger Children Perceiver children need more accountability and structured when it comes to completing tasks within specific time frames. Judger children naturally set up structures to ensure tasks are completed on time and may require less guidance. Parents should be mindful of their children's natural inclinations and provide appropriate support, whether it be additional structure for perceivers or fostering flexibility for judgers. Children can be unintentional teachers and accountability buddies for parents, as parents learn to adapt and support their children's unique needs. Despite what most people realize, it's the unconscious mind that runs us. But how is that so? Get your first primer in 26 minutes! Follow and Share these pearls with others. Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media  www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha  www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha  www.twitter.com/DrMaiysha  www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha Don't miss our Guest Episodes each Wednesday! Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne Ready for the next level in your life? Join the Movement! Become a part of the Mind ReMapping Nation, an exclusive community that empowers your growth & accountability. Go to www.MindReMappingNation.com Interested to learn Mind ReMapping? Have you thought about becoming a coach? You can! Attend our next Mind ReMapping LIVE Training in Atlanta, and learn the tools to remap your mind in this transformational NLP/Hypnosis and Coach Certification training. Visit www.mindremappingacademy.com or schedule an interest call at www.remapmymind.today --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/remapyourmind/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/remapyourmind/support

Enjoy the last episode in this series - the differences between Judgers and Perceivers. We'll be back with a new episode next week! Find Dan: danielanear.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/convergentlyspeaking/message

Have you ever had one of those "a-ha" moments about yourself that simultaniously made you feel relieved and ashamed?  That's what happened to me when I (the self- proclaimed "mindset maven") came to the realization that I am a judgemental person- judgemental mostly of myself.  Most importantly how it has halted my personal growth!   If you are wondering if you are a judgmental person too or if maybe this is hindering your personal growth, I invite you to listen in to this episode of both self discovery and a recipe for change.  Judgement is a problem, but it can easily be transformed into learning and therefore LOTs of personal growth.    

Are you asking questions to build or to tear down? What is the difference between a learner and a judger mindset? Episode 121 ( Marilee is based in New Jersey) In this conversation we explore: The polar opposites of learner versus judger mindsets How to recognize your current mindset How to shift your mindset with the choice map How to be a stronger leader by asking stronger questions How to ask better questions of yourself Why decisions can be more productive when you are in learner mode About Marilee Adams Written 4 books, in August released two new books: (1) 4th edition of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Results—a business and leadership fable. (2) Change Your Questions Change Your Life Workbook: Master Your Mindset with Question Thinking. Note that the fable book has sold over 400,000 copies in 22 languages, mostly by word of mouth. Marilee is the Founder and CEO of the Inquiry Institute, a consulting, coaching and educational organization that works internationally with organizations and government agencies large and small. Marilee is a Senior Brown Belt in Karate, though that was 20 years ago; these days it's mostly yoga for her! ----- Download your free copy of the Choice Map here and start making more productive choices about your mindset www.InquiryInstitute.com   Excerpts from this conversation with Marilee Adams I think the most powerful leaders are the ones who can ask the most powerful questions and who encourage people around them to do the same thing. ----- 04:59 And you you raise the the learner mindset versus the judging mindset. And that's something that you talk in your book about. Please tell us, what's the difference? What's the distinction? And why is it important?   05:13 Okay, I'm gonna describe each and I'm also going to show you a model that makes it easier to do that. So first of all, let's assume that all of us, every human being has two mindsets. One I call judger. And the other I call learner, it's important to remember we all have both, both are normal. And we will always have them, because we are not only neurologically hardwired for them, but we're also socially ingrained in them. So when I talk about being in judger, mindset, that means that I'm being more close minded more, putting myself or others down, being more judgmental, because judging means judgement fall. And it can lead to a lot of self doubt, and also interacting with other people in ways that are not respectful and may actually be dismissive. So, but that's part of all of us. And even if we don't like that part, that doesn't mean it's not there. And it's really useful to say, oh, yeah, that's me to accept all the parts of me. And if we can speak that we would be speaking from learner mindset, which we all have. And when we're in learner mindset, we're more open minded, more accepting, more able to look from other people's point of view, and be dedicated to what can I create and learn in this situation with this person? So we all have both mindsets all the time. What makes the powerful is that when we can observe the mindset we're in, and then ask ourselves, will this mindset let's say, it's judger? Well, this mindset helped me get to where I want to go in this situation. Most of the time, the answer's no. But unless we can observe our mindsets, we might not even notice that. So it's important to note that I'm just going to, I'm going to show this and I'm going to make a comment about it to your listeners and your viewers. So this right, here it is, I get this confused. But this is called the choice map. And we all have both mindsets, the judger mindset, and the learner mindset. And at any moment, we're in one or the other. And if we're in if we notice, we're in judger, we can start to use the switching lane. So it becomes a very practical how to. So I know that this podcast is mostly auditory, which means people are not seeing it. But I do want to say that if you're interested in the choice map, go to my website, which is www inquiry institute.com. So you can go to my website, you can get the choice map for free. So there's a protocol for how to do it, you take a short quiz, which is also gives you some useful information. But then you can have the choice map and use it. And it's the core of not only change your questions, change your life, but all the other books that I've written and the work that I do that George, you mentioned a bit in the beginning. So does that answer your question? -----   25:25 Do you discourage people from being the judge?   25:33 I would change that question a little bit. So, when they learn about the model of learner judger, and they start to see what the costs have been in their lives, and in particular situations of being in judger, rather than learner, then I don't need to convince them of anything, they start to go, oh, this problem occurred because I was in judger. And I was just obstinate, maybe there's a different way to go about it. And truthfully, judger is, is human beings, it's always our default position. It's where we go. It's when we go reactive, it's it's fear based. And it's very useful to accept that part of us. Because it is part of us, and then to see what there is to learn from it. It's also important, George not to go judge her on other people when they are in judgement. Because then you end up with, like judges squared. Moving to a position where you can actually listen to each other, relate to each other, and maybe come up with some shared solutions together. ----- ----more---- Your Intended Message is the podcast about how you can boost your career and business success by improving your communication skills. We'll examine the aspects of how we communicate one-to-one, one to few and one to many – plus that important conversation, one to self. In these interviews we will explore presentation skills, public speaking, conversation, persuasion, negotiation, sales conversations, marketing, team meetings, social media, branding, self talk and more.   Your host is George Torok George is a specialist in executive communication skills. That includes conversation and presentation. He's fascinated by way we communicate and influence behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.   Connect with George www.SpeechCoachforExecutives.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgetorokpresentations/ https://www.youtube.com/user/presentationskills https://www.instagram.com/georgetorok/   For weekly tips to improve your presentations visit https://toroktips.com/    

Did you know that the questions you ask yourself drive your thinking? In today's episode, Dr. Marilee Adams shares the difference between a Learner Mindset and a Judger Mindset, the Choice Map, and what makes a quality question.   Dr. Marilee Adams is an award-winning author and pioneer in the fields of inquiry-based coaching, leadership and organizational culture. She is CEO/Founder of the Inquiry Institute, a solutions and performance-focused company providing consulting, coaching, training, keynotes and eLearning. She is the author of the best selling book Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching and Results. Read the transcript here:   https://www.voiceofinfluence.net/251 Give and receive feedback that makes a difference! Register for our 20 minute Deep Impact Method video course here:  www.voiceofinfluence.net/deepimpact

Was the Parkland shooting a fair trial? You be the judge. Give us your comment --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/michael-haley2/message

Are you always Judging or are you Learning? I reveal the 5 crucial thoughts you can tackle today to immediately begin to change how your life works out for you. Get the success you know you are capable of, resolve challenging situations and move your life forward to attract wealth, health and happiness you deserve. In this podcast I discuss books by Marilee Adams, PhD: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, 4th Edition: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Results https://bookshop.org/a/86969/9781523091034 Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Workbook: Master Your Mindset Using Question Thinking https://bookshop.org/a/86969/9781523091201 Visit my book store to discover great Quantum Attraction, Wealth, ESL and Leadership books https://bookshop.org/shop/coachmarkinmanila Download Your FREE Mini Taster Version of my Quantum Attraction Bend Like Bamboo Program Here - includes FREE Bonus Section on how to attract wealth from the UK & USA Property Sector and includes links to exclusive developments, deals and financing options. Access my full Downloadable 'Be Like Bamboo' NLP Quantum Attraction Program. Unlock the secrets you've never been taught by those who know how to create the wealth, freedom, health and happiness you deserve Download The Full 'Be Like Bamboo' NLP Quantum Attraction Program Here Deep One-to-One NLP and Quantum Law Of Attraction Coaching - 3 or 6 months of LIVE 55 minute Zoom sessions (all time-zones) with me twice weekly. Together we laser-focus on key areas of your life you wish to completely change beyond all recognition. Excellent for: Wealth Creation, Health, Relationships, Career, Immigration, Business-Start Ups, ESL Advanced Business English Fluency, Public Speaking Confidence. Limited Availability: Book Your FREE 30 Minute Zoom Consultation Call To See If We Resonate Group NLP and Quantum Law Of Assumption Coaching Quest - 3 month LIVE 55 minute weekly small Group Zoom Program (3 attendees max all time-zones). Join with 2 like-minded others and myself to explore and practice the concepts of NLP Quantum Attraction. The additional power of working in a group should never be under-estimated. Together we use The Universal Laws to leverage huge growth of all participants in these sessions. Secure Your Place On The 3 Month Program Now 24/7 Instant Courses: https://impactquantumsuccess.gumroad.com 700+ Students Worldwide Assisted With: • Quantum Attraction Financial Freedom Coaching • Advanced EFL / ESL Business English - IT Engineers, Financial Execs, Lawyers, Medics (OET), IELTS • Immigration • Visas - Spain, Philippines, Germany, USA, Australia, Canada, UK • Fluency • Clear pronunciation / accent reduction / confidence / reduced anxiety • Presentations / interviews / meetings / negotiations • Entrepreneurship - launching businesses • Scholarships Chat with me here: t.me/eslbusinessenglishexperts / Join my Quantum Attraction channel here: https://t.me/wealthattractioncoaching hello@initial-impact.com / www.eslbusinessenglishexperts.com /www.initial-impact.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/markinmanilacamblyesl/message

Brother Mike interviews me about the final letter of my personality type ESFP.  The letter P for a Perceiver from the book called Personality Hacker by Joel Mark Witt and Antonia Dodge.  We discuss Perceiver and it's alternate the Judger. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/patrick-isimang/message

Jen & Todd chat about different mindsets, common issues found in the hair world, and how to make a shift in your attitude.We kick off by defining and understanding where your mindset currently sits. Even if you're toward the 'negative' side, it's OK! You know where you're starting and what direction to head.Different Mindsets:Growth vs. FixedAbundance vs. ScarcityLearner vs. Judger, or as Jen put it, "The Judgy McJudgers!"Some common challenges people face:Failure to innovate, fear of changeFixating on what they don't haveKnocking others, thinking their method is the only wayBelieving everything they see or hearBelieving they're owed somethingExpecting rewards for things they haven't doneThinking the grass is greener, putting more effort into wishing than working on themselves.What can we do about it? Here are some things to consider if you're ready to make a shift in your mindset:Define and understand who you are, where your attitude sits, and be cool with it, or none of this worksMake it a priority. This needs to be a conscious effortTake daily actionHave a plan that might include a note, a written list, or a habit "Energy goes where the focus flows!"See the positiveEngage more. Try to discover and explore.Listen moreFeel the feelsPauseFind an outletFind a mentor or someone with whom you can have real, honest, productive conversations.Meditate Exercise Resources:Sign up for our mailing list here!PingPong OfferBox Breathing Explanation with Mark DivineBox Breathing with Mark DivineLinks and Stuff:Our (weekly) Email ListFind more of our things:InstagramHello Hair Pro Website

In this episode Joel and Antonia respond to an ENTP listener's question about wishing they were a judger personality type.   https://personalityhacker.com  

In this podcast Joel and Antonia chat about the deeper differences between judging and perceiving. https://personalityhacker.com  

I share my thoughts about my experience interacting with people who I don't agree with, and how I handle those situations. https://shaunnak.com/

THIS WEEK: Dane & Anthony are in the studio, while Levi joins us virtually, to talk about their weekends, detailing and more!   VIDEO VERSION AVAILABLE HERE: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheRagCompanyPodcast   ►RATE & REVIEW the podcast & we'll read it LIVE on the next show! https://itunes.apple.com/.../the-rag.../id1269337267...

Charles Tschaggeny is a self-proclaimed hater and a judger of packaging.  So, I thought, we should chat! Turns out he really is, especially when it comes to overdone and elaborate packaging. He is against the amount of waste and potentially misleading information or marketing in the industry of packaging but in favor of functional core packaging that is necessary for products.On today's episode, we talked about:•The excessive demands of and the need for packaging in order to make people's lives "more convenient or easier"•Why aren't we recycling?•Charles Tschaggeny background in packaging, design, and development•With very much design and manufacturing background, at what point did he realize the purely functional standpoint in approaching packaging•Greenwashing•Why is it bad to capture more recycled content, process it, and use it?•When selecting packaging or choosing packaging materials, what are the little things that brands can potentially do to make things better?•Why manufacturing equipment is a bad thing?•What would he recommend working with or trying to change people's minds when it comes to old-school packaging?•What would it be the closest thing he could come up with to describe optimal packaging?Charles built his career as an engineer by being able to think outside the box. He graduated from the University of Utah with an MS and a BS in Mechanical Engineering with an emphasis on design, several patents, and a passion for problem-solving. Now, 15+ years in the industry have allowed him to build experience and refine his abilities through work in the fields of robotics, automation, product and process design, and system architecture.He has worked in the molecular diagnostics world for over 10 years and has become very knowledgeable about the diagnostics world including both the design of diagnostic products and their manufacture.When it comes to designing solutions, products, and processes, He is most interested in carving new paths by pursuing unique and innovative options.For more information and to explore other episodes, go to www.ppcpackaging.com/the-packaging-brothersFollow PPCPackaging on social media!   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/pacific-packaging-components-inc-/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PPCPackaging/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ppcpackaging/?hl=en Website: http://www.ppcpackaging.com/Find out more about Charles on his website and connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.Website: https://www.tschaggenydesign.com/Twitter: https://twitter.com/chwitschLinkedin: linkedin.com/in/charlestschaggenyThe views and opinions expressed on the "Packaging Brothers" podcast are solely those of the author and guests and should not be attributed to any other individual or entity. This podcast is an independent production of Packaging Brothers, and the podcast production is an original work of the author. All rights of ownership and reproduction are retained—copyright 2022.

WHAT WE COVER: When we judge our inner judger, we become the judger. When we fight our inner judger, we create a battle. When we fear our inner judger, we magnify the judgment. So it's time to change how we show up to our judger. Instead of trying to control it or suppress it or argue with it, let's change our relationship to our judger. Doing so will create inner alignment and help you to show up powerfully at work and in business. This episode will teach you five powerful shifts you can make to transform your relationship with your judger. Implement these shifts in your life, and notice the incredible transformation it has on your confidence, your career, and your well-being. SOUL ACTIVATION COACH CERTIFICATION: Attract, coach, and re-up clients with the grace and ease that can only come from being connected at the soul-level. Using the Soul Activation Framework, You: Deliver massive results for your clients, going beyond mindset to get to the core of what they want by connecting them to who they really are at the soul level Make more money with current clients as they keep re-upping with you because they know working with you means getting lasting, continuous transformations Attract new clients who align with your message and who you want to serve because you're clear on what you want and how to help them Create a coaching practice that is guided by your soul and uses your ego as your supporting tool, not your dominating saboteur Teach your clients the Soul Activation Framework so they can take aligned action from a place of grounded self confidence because they are tapped into themselves and who they really are This is a 3-month training and certification program with live calls and application steps for you to take using the Soul Activation Framework on yourself as well as your clients. The pre-launch investment is $800, and this will increase on March 5th and in future rounds. Email Lisa at Lisa@beliefseed.com before March 5th to claim the pre-launch rate. FREE CONSULT: Ready to do your work, your way, with soul? Join me. There are 1:1 coaching spots available. It all starts with a free consultation where we dive into your goals, cover strategies to help you achieve them, and discuss what working together in a coaching capacity will be like. Go to: https://beliefseed.com/schedule 1:1 COACHING: It's time to show up powerfully and confidently at work. You can make bold moves, get the career you want, and excel as you do your work, your way, with soul. Learn how and schedule your free 1:1 consult to see what coaching can do for you: https://beliefseed.com/coaching ABOUT LISA: Lisa Philyaw, M.S. in Industrial-Organizational Psychology and Certified Life Coach, is an expert career and life coach. She takes a soul-focused, heart-led approach to helping her clients tap into their own innate wisdom. Through coaching with Lisa, clients learn to embrace all of who they are and show up to do their work in a way that is genuine and feels good.

Hey family--are you the kind of person who judges others? Maybe you don't mean to, but you find yourself judging the way they dress, their relationships, their kids, whatever. And yet, we don't like to be judged ourselves! Come this Sunday to hear more about this, 10 a.m. at 360 Schermerhorn St.--Edwin Kids' Church is back in session, so bring the young ones! Kids ages 3-11 attend their own service in the kids-only classroom. ANNOUNCEMENT: If you would like to volunteer for our food pantry, community breakfast, mother/baby ministry or social services ministries, PLEASE ATTEND a meeting at RHOW from 12 noon - 1 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 22. If you cannot attend in person, here is the Zoom link. RHOW needs plenty of help so don't be shy! "Serve one another humbly in love." --Galatians 5:13.

Hey family--are you the kind of person who judges others? Maybe you don't mean to, but you find yourself judging the way they dress, their relationships, their kids, whatever. And yet, we don't like to be judged ourselves! Come this Sunday to hear more about this, 10 a.m. at 360 Schermerhorn St.--Edwin Kids' Church is back in session, so bring the young ones! Kids ages 3-11 attend their own service in the kids-only classroom. ANNOUNCEMENT: If you would like to volunteer for our food pantry, community breakfast, mother/baby ministry or social services ministries, PLEASE ATTEND a meeting at RHOW from 12 noon - 1 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 22. If you cannot attend in person, here is the Zoom link. RHOW needs plenty of help so don't be shy! "Serve one another humbly in love." --Galatians 5:13.

Hvad giver os energi og hvad dræner os for energi?  I denne episode taler vi blandt andet om det, idet går i dybden med de fire dikotomier, der er i Myers-Briggs. De fire er henholdsvis Introversion > < Extroversion, Sensing > < Intuition, Thinking > < Feeling, Judger > < Perceiver. Reference:Joel Mark Witt og Antonia Dodge: Personality Hacker Personality Hackers Podcast

Before COVID-19, businesses needed to manage change and make quick decisions. The pandemic intensified these needs. The organizations and people who survive and thrive in a complex, rapidly changing and ambiguous world are both agile and curious – traits often associated with Myers-Briggs Perceiving types.Listening Note Links:How can I tell if I'm a Judger or a Perceiver?https://pos.li/2ixvj5Are Perceivers lazier than judgers?https://pos.li/2ixvj6Perceivers and Time-Managementhttps://pos.li/2ixvj7Myers-Briggs and Leadership Part 1https://pos.li/2ixvj8Myers-Briggs and Leadership Part 2https://pos.li/2ixvjaMyers-Briggs Quotation Linkhttps://pos.li/2ixyfd---------Check out our new emotional intelligence podcasthttps://eqatwork.net

After having a host of newcomers on the Podcast, it was time for a member of the gaming Glitterati and who better than todays guest. The John Lennon to Rich Clarkes Paul McCartney, the slayer of Black Puddings and Judger of Breakfasts, the one and only Nick Skinner. In between talking about Cricket and Avocados we did manage to occasionally discuss wargaming. Nick does a great effort at the 4 minute challenge, we chat about his entry into rule writing and his thoughts on the big game. After a dip into the wacky world of the Yarkshire Gamer Quiz we discuss the ruleset for WW1 in the East (Gallipoli, Mesopotamia and Palestine) in which we both have a family interest. We end up chatting about Big Game rule writing before Nick corners me on my one Skirmish game, The Sweeney. A bit longer than usual but I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed putting it together. If the Lord Spares Us can be bought direct from TooFatLardies on the link below, https://toofatlardies.co.uk/product/if-the-lord-spares-us/ Thanks for listening, if you haven't already give the Podcast a follow so you don't miss and episode, see you in 2 weeks for another Episode.   Regards Ken The Yarkshire Gamer

Because not everyone's opinion matters. - For more from Writecome visit https://www.writecome.com now --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/barry-mcdonald6/message

This is episode 1 for the series of “I am the Problem therefore I am the Solution” (PS) and today we talk about my past full of JUDGEMENTS. What is judgement? Judgement vs. discernment? What does it mean to judge others? What is the gift of judgement? What have been my recent revelations about my inner judgement & much more. Watch a different version of this same content on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVA4IabqPvQ&t=546s connect w me! IG: https://www.instagram.com/birddaniellee/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI0diwHvWVOIb_HRwPLPkBw Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@birddaniellee

Everyday, you experience situations that make you think. The assumptions you make, the decisions you make, the feelings you feel and how you react, all come from the questions you ask yourself in each moment. When you learn to recognize what your governing questions are at each moment, you can literally change your life!Based on the great book by Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D.! "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life"There are some good stories and applications you can use to improve your life. Take a minute and listen and then apply what you learn to your actions today!Support the show

www.heididawson.com @theheididawson Can you leave us a 5 star review? (if you love this episode......:) Our judgements of others do not reflect that other person, it reflects our life experience. In fact, It has nothing at all to do with the other person and everything to do with us. Now thoughts have energy so our actual thoughts can affect us and the other person, but we will talk about that in a minute. My challenge to you this week, because as Im recording this it is Thanksgiving week and we may be seeing family we haven't seen in a while and we all know that can be stressful. But this week work on noticing subtle negative thoughts you have about someone else and as soon as you do replace it with 3 things you love about them or three things that make you grateful for them. If it's a stranger make something up about them that is nice…. Not only will you notice you are happier but my guess is you'll notice your relationships will feel better as well. I love you guys and Ill talk to you in a few days. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes! Now if you’re feeling extra loving, I would be really grateful if you leave me a review over on iTunes, too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you! For more information, visit my website https://www.happierbytheminute.com/ Follow me on my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happierbyminute/ and Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HappierbytheMinute/

Second Date Update: Judger no judging.

Imagine you enter a messy room,.. How do you feel?Can we compare our mind with a messy room, when we are distracted? The first Method: In our mind we have many voices that are arguing, negotiating, or even disturbing us…If we deny one of these voices, we support this voice with energy and strengthen it.For instance, a devotee went to his guru and complained that his mind was chattering all the time so he could not meditate or find peace…The guru said: don’t think on mice, if you think on a mouse punish yourself… Because if you think about mice you eventually become a mouse in your next life…  The devotee went home and was wondering why his Guru had told him not to think on mice? He has never thought on mice before… But when he started with his meditation; he was continuously thinking about mice… It became worse and worse… What you deny/neglect/suppress/fight that you empower…So we watch our thoughts and don’t fight against them.We give our different voices unique names so we can identify them without fighting …For instance.The complainerThe critic Inner childSuperegoPerfectionistAnxiousAngerMotherBrotherSisterFatherDarlingJustificationPoliceJudgerPoliticianSellerBuyerGreedyBoringCreative….When a voice wants to say something we let the voice say something to us.  Afterwards we say: “thank you for sharing.” Or if we don’t have time, please wait, share your opinion in an hour or so… (be truthful and definitive).Through the discrimination of our different voices and watching them, they will lose their power over us… Quote: If you call a demon by his name he becomes weaker… The second Method:We make every day 3 times brainstorming for 5 minutes and write down every single thought…After a month, we read all of our thoughts. Then we identify our thinking pattern that repeats and again…  So if we run the next time in the same pattern we already have identified, we simply notify that…  And the thinking pattern will lose so their power over us. My Video: Techniques to calm down our mind https://youtu.be/EGbvdwqPGBAMy Audio on Podcast: RELAX WITH MEDITATION or see link in the end.   My Audio: https://rudizimmerer.s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/6/Techniques+to+calm+down+our+mind.mp3  

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:37-38 (NIV).My friend Kathy is an amazing Christian, who wants to share God's love with everyone she meets. A few years ago, she invited me to meet her at a local strip club, so we could tell her friends, who work there, how much God treasures them. Kathy told me, many of these dancers didn't want anything to do with Christianity because of things church people had done to them. Since I'm also bitter about church culture, she knew I'd fit right in. That night, I was amazed by the beautiful souls of the dancers I met. I was so inspired by these women that I continued to work in strip club ministries for a long time after that first night. Though the ladies who worked in the clubs had very different stories than mine, I loved the community I found with them. I never struggled to talk to them, to see their strength, or to sincerely desire the best possible life for each one of them.On the other hand, it was always a struggle for me to deal with how much I hated the men in the clubs. See, there are often abusive jerks in the clubs, who think having a little money means they can talk to women like they're garbage. I have seriously sat and prayed, “God help me not punch this guy in the throat.” I hated them. My rage towards these jerks extended to all the men in the clubs, and it blinded me to seeing them as anything else. It took a lot for God to change my heart in this area. Softening my heart took years. I struggled. Not just a little, I intensely struggled with emotionally unhealthy vengeful hate.In the last chapter, I mentioned praying for abusers. My most memorable experience of praying for abusers, took place as I drove to a strip club one night. I vented to God. I was bitter, self-righteous, and full of hatred. I despised the abuse I had seen, but I didn't want to see the whole picture. I wanted people to blame. I saw my friends only as strong survivors and their customers only as abusive jerks. The messes in this world are seldom so neatly divided. Obviously, I still had a long way to go on my journey towards fully living in the peace and hope Jesus provides.As I drove, I ranted to God about my whole, ugly, hate-filled mess. Finally, the truth about my attitude came out. I said, “OK God, why aren't you fixing this?” There it was. My real issue: I was still mad at God for the things I'd been through.Honestly, I didn't struggle so much with the abuse I endured. I was angry about the shame heaped on me by church people. Why didn't God break through and yell at them? Why didn't he make it clear how much he cared about me? As I was recovering, I needed to know he still loved me. Unfortunately, people who should have told me how much God still loved me, told me he didn't let bad things happen to people who love him. They told me I was “forgiven”, but I'd always have to pay for my mistakes. The way they misrepresented God, filled me with bitterness. It tainted everything I did. I desperately wanted to protect my friends, who are dancers, from ever feeling the shame I felt. Deep down, I also didn't want to deal with the anger I felt towards God. My anger towards God was too raw and painful to face, so I stuffed it. But stuffed emotions never stay stuffed, so mine came out as hatred towards the men.Somehow, when I finally voiced my real frustration, in my car that night, I had a sense of how incredibly beautiful God's way really is. I knew those church people were wrong. Now, so was I. I was reminded of a truth I didn't want to believe: “Hate doesn't change anyone”. Though I knew this was true, in that moment, hate felt better and I wasn't ready to let go of it. So, while driving, I angrily blurted out, “OK God, I see it, but if you want me to care about these guys you are going to have to do it through me. I can't do what you're asking.”I want you to know, this was not a nice eloquent prayer session. I was angry. I was yelling in my car like a crazy woman. I was real about all the pain I saw and how much I hated it. I was arrogant and bold. Little did I know, I was about to be humbled, yet profoundly honored. God was about to show me a glimpse of how he sees the men I hated.As I went into the club, I forgot all about my prayer and began joking around with my friends. I didn't associate my ranting prayer with anything that could happen that night. Simply because, I did not talk to the men, ever. I was merely going to avoid them, as usual, while hating them a little less. Turns out, God was preparing me to meet Greg, a man who was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and needed to know how much God still loves him.Greg came up to talk to the dancer I was talking to. I tried to slip away unobtrusively, but my friend said, “This lady is a Christian, you should talk to her.” So, Greg turned to me, not for a conversation, but to tell me how much he hated religion.I listened to Greg's rant. Amazingly, God was honoring the challenge I had issued earlier: “If you want me to care, you are going to have to do it through me.”As Greg continued his story, I knew God was working on me. Despite my bitterness, I heard the deep hurt behind Greg's angry complaints about the religion forced on him as a child. He had experienced rejection and shame for not living up to their standards.After a while, Greg finished his beer. He turned to me with a sudden seriousness and said, “I don't want Jesus to forgive me because I don't deserve it.”The anger in his voice turned to despair as Greg told me the story of his sophomore year in college. He had pressured his roommate, who had just broken up with his girlfriend, to go to a party with him. His roommate never drank but gave in because he was feeling low. Greg remembered handing his roommate a drink with the promise, “this will fix you.”. He had no idea how depressed his roommate really was that night. After just a few drinks, his roommate jumped onto a motorcycle; sped up the curvy mountain roads; then drove off of the only overlook with a broken guardrail. Greg never forgot getting the news of his friend's suicide.As he sat there beside me in a strip club, recounting this trauma from over twenty years ago, I began to actually see Greg. I saw how he was weighed down by guilt. I saw how he blamed himself for all kinds of problems around him. I saw a desperate, hurting soul looking for solace in the company of these dancers. I saw a glimpse of how God sees him. I saw hope for him. I saw how he struggled with the same shame that Jesus had freed me from.When Greg said, “I don't deserve Jesus' forgiveness.”, I saw the glaring truth of my hypocrisy. I remembered that I too had said the same thing to God twenty years earlier. As a young overwhelmed mother, I had cried out to God. “I can't raise these children. I'm too messed up. I don't deserve them.” Like Greg, I felt I didn't deserve good things in my life because of what I'd done. My path was different from Greg's. I dealt with my shame by throwing myself into church work. But, no matter how good I got at following the rules in church, I couldn't shake my shame. I knew I could never measure up and never deserve God working in my life. Like Greg, I knew how much I didn't deserve forgiveness.When I finally got to the point of desperation where I cried out: “I can't do this. I don't deserve my children.” I came to the end of me. I got quiet and I listened. I felt the calming, peaceful presence of God reminding me of the story of the Apostle Paul. Paul was responsible for the deaths and imprisonment of many early Christians. God completely forgave him and empowered him to be one of the key leaders of the early Christian community. In comparison to Paul, it seemed ridiculous to think God couldn't work with my mistakes. I didn't deserve forgiveness. Thankfully, God gave it anyway, and he also empowered me to accept it.Yet, here I was, all these years later, condemning all these men for the sins I saw in them. Why was I so ready to see people like Greg as hopeless, when I knew God didn't see him that way?After a while, Greg didn't want to hear any more. He ended our conversation with, “Listen. I know all about your religion. I can't follow all of those rules. I just think Jesus wants me to care about people.”I told him he was absolutely right on both points and God still loves him. He shushed me and said, “He shouldn't”I didn't push anymore. I simply promised Greg I would be praying for him.This morning as I read Luke 6, I remembered exactly how judgmental I can be. I haven't seen Greg in years. But I still pray for him to know how much God longs to walk through this life with him, to give him the peace, healing and hope he has been seeking.It is crazy miraculous, (like healing the blind kind of stuff!) that I ever talked to Greg. It is proof of how much God wants to reach out to him. Literally, twenty minutes before I went into the club, I would have immediately judged him and refused to talk to him. Graciously, God broke through my judgmental pride to give me a glimpse of how he sees Greg.I thank God for being so patient with me. I thank him for being way more loving and accepting than I can ever comprehend. I thank God for not giving up on the Gregs in this world, who don't know how loved they are. I also thank God for being patient with the religious Cindys of this world, who get a little bit better, then think they can condemn the rest of the planet for not living up to our messed-up standards.Before you judge me too harshly, remember this not judging thing is hard. If you don't think so, then you aren't doing it right! Our society seems to thrive on judging other people. I mean let's all be honest and admit: deep down, wouldn't we all love to be Judge Judy and hand out sassy judgments to everyone we find annoying? Our desire to justify ourselves by condemning others is why Jesus' calling in Luke 6:37-38 is seriously hard stuff.In those verses, Jesus calls his follower to be gracious in how we see people, forgive freely and give generously. Thankfully, Jesus didn't simply throw out these commands then say, “Good luck with that. I'm watching.”In the rest of Luke 6, Jesus taught some pretty amazing points to free us from being shame-filled judgers.Consider carefully who you follow.Jesus continued by saying “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.” Luke 6:39-40 (NIV).We aren't supposed to “judge” in a negative, hypocritical sense but we are supposed to make wise judgments about who we follow. Don't expect anyone to lead you somewhere they aren't going. If you want to be gracious in your assumptions of others (non-judgmental), forgiving, and generous, then you need to actively seek leaders who model these traits.Sounds like no-brainer advice until you think about how often we surround ourselves with people who make us feel better, instead of people who challenge us to be better. Real growth comes from finding people who will confront us in our shortcomings and model areas where we want to grow.Deal with the mess in your life so you can help others with theirs.“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Luke 6:41-43 (NIV).Jesus uses an exaggerated word picture to tell us two things: First, we all need to deal with our own mess. Secondly, there is actually very little we can accurately judge in other people's lives.Seeing our own mess accurately is no easy task. I often joke that denial is my favorite coping skill. One clear indicator that I'm denying my own mess: when I judge people harshly, it is because of something I'm not willing to deal with in myself. For example, in my opening story, I judged the men harshly because of “my plank” which was me being angry with God.When we refuse to deal with the messes in our lives, they don't go away. They pop up everywhere and influence everything we do. They have power over us. They become a nagging voice of shame, constantly telling us we are not good enough. We compensate by comparing ourselves to others. We look for problems in their lives so we can say, “See. I'm not so bad.” We live with the shame of trying to deny our messy plank, and we compensate by being judgmental.Jesus' advice frees us from the cycle of personal shame and doubts which cause us to judge others. He gives us the power to deal with all of our real issues, our deep hurts, and our shame. Healing all of these hurts can be a long process. Sometimes, we just aren't ready to admit our deepest hurts. Amazingly, even while we are in the process of simply admitting the hurts are there, Jesus provides freedom. When we admit we have a “plank”, it frees us to know we are going to deal with it. We no longer have to stuff our deepest pains and pretend we are “OK”. We get to admit, we aren't OK, but we will be! The peace we find from Jesus' acceptance of us and our “messy plank”, frees us from the need to build ourselves up through judging others.But what about the speck? Are we supposed to just deny other people have problems? Surely, we are supposed to help.Absolutely, we should help other people with their problems. We just need to realize; we only see the tip of the iceberg. We don't know all of their struggles. We only see a speck of their pain and the struggles in their lives. Of course, we should help people with problems we see. We just need to be sure we start with a humble attitude, which comes from being fully aware of our own mess, God's patient grace with us, and our very limited perspective. This humble attitude frees us from condemning others.Years of working with at-risk youth has given me unique insight into our “plank-eyed” tendencies to judge with condemning certainty, based on a “speck” of information. For example, I always think of Matt, one of my favorite students of all time. Matt was a young man with a huge heart and a tough home life. His mom worked two jobs just trying to make ends meet. His father was not in the picture and his older brother was a drug addict who, at seventeen years old, had already been arrested twice. Matt did everything he could to help his mom. He was consumed with not wanting to be another man who let his mom down. He worked his butt off trying to help her. His grades, appearance, and health suffered from the heavy load he was shouldering at such a young age. When I was assigned to be his tutor, I sat in on meetings where his teachers judged him as lazy and apathetic. The truth is, he worked harder than any of them; he was just ashamed to tell anyone. From their limited perspective, they saw his actions, then judged his motives. And they were dead wrong.Matt needing support at school was the “speck” his teachers could see. When they judged him, they no longer felt responsible for helping him with that speck. They hadn't dealt with the “planks” in them, which made them so ready to judge a thirteen-year-old boy.When we condemn from our limited perspective, it always points to our own plank. We miss the joy of helping people in the small areas where our lives intersect. “Holy speck helping” begins with “humble plank acknowledging”.Your focus determines your direction.I can't imagine anyone reading the previous two points and not wanting to apply them. We all want to follow wise leaders and to be non-judgmental, encouraging people. We all want to see the best in others and inspire those around us to greatness. I'm sure you've never thought: “What I really want out of life is to harshly judge everyone who makes me feel uncomfortable about anything I struggle with.”Despite our desire to be encouraging, judging people is a trap we have to constantly battle. How do we read these stories and Jesus' teaching about not being judgmental and really live differently?Jesus addressed the continual nature of our struggle in the next part of his lesson on not judging. He said:“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:43-45 (NIV).The “fruit” in our lives comes from all the things beneath the surface, deep in our souls. In order for our lives to produce good things, like not judging people, we have to store good things in our hearts and souls. In other words, if we want to accept people the way Jesus did, we have to continually focus on who he is and how he accepts people. It is a discipline we practice because of our desire to honor what Jesus has shown us. Our focus determines our direction. When we focus on ourselves, our hurt and our shame, we remain stuck in lives full of shame-filled judging. Thankfully, when we determine to focus on Jesus and his acceptance of us, we are freed from shame filled judging and we get to grow and accept others.Doing these things will help you build your life on a solid foundation that will not fail you when times are tough.“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Luke 6:46-49 (NIV).Jesus ended this sermon with a final challenge comparing and contrasting the two responses to his message. Everyone believes being gracious, forgiving, and generous are good things but few people focus on growing in these areas.The foolish man building his house on sand reminds me of so many teens I've talked to through the years. I've helped several young people whose parents neglected and abused them because of drug addictions. These teens were using drugs while telling me, they didn't want to be like their parents. They believed they could just quit when they had families because they'd care too much about their kids to use drugs. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case for any of them. None of them had learned any coping skills for the struggles in life. Instead of building their lives on different decisions, they escaped the hard emotions of their teen years by self-medicating with drugs. When they had families, they had no foundation for dealing with adult stresses. Sadly, they became the thing they hated most.In life, we don't get to suddenly have great character when we need it. Wanting to be good isn't enough. Character is built over time through frequent choices. We will all have hard times in our lives which will shake us and reveal our true character. If we follow the principles Jesus teaches in Luke, he will prepare us for these times. He helps us see ourselves accurately, then empowers us to change, grow, and become the good people we want to be. If we continually build our lives on the principles he taught, the hard times will not destroy us, they will reveal the strength of our character.So, whatever your shame struggles are, there is hope for you. You can quit judging yourself and others.Trust me. It's a journey.

If on your journey, you are stuck because you think you don't deserve anything from God, you are going to love the next story in Luke 7:1-10.The story starts off with Jesus entering Capernaum, a town in Galilee. The Jews in this area were not as strict as those around Jerusalem, because of geography and a lot of complicated history. A centurion, who had been stationed in this “more liberal” region to keep order, sent some elders of the Jews to ask Jesus to heal his servant. When these elders saw Jesus, they begged him to heal the servant. They said, “this man deserves to have you do this because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue”. (Luke 7:4-5 NIV)Let's take a minute to contemplate how crazy this scene was. Centurions were leaders of groups of a hundred or more soldiers. They got their position by proving themselves in battle. As experienced warriors, they led groups of soldiers and always took a position on the front line. These were tough dudes who had done some serious killing and torturing of people. They were respected and wealthy in the Roman world. This centurion used his power and wealth to show favor to the Jews. He even helped them build their synagogue. This was enough for the Jewish leaders to overlook the normal disdain for soldiers. They believed the centurion deserved help from Jesus.The centurion, on the other hand, saw things very differently. When Jesus was on the way to his house, the centurion sent word to Jesus,“Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,' and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,' and he does it.” (Luke 7:7-8 NIV)The centurion basically said, “I'm not worthy to have you in my home. I understand how authority works, you can just say the word and my servant will be healed”.Jesus responded to the centurion's request by telling the crowd that he had not found such great faith in all of Israel.Wait! What? How did the centurion show the greatest faith Jesus had seen in all of Israel?I mean, uhm Jesus? You know the disciples have been walking around soaking in your teaching for quite a while there. Remember, John the Baptist, he's in prison because of you. Tons of people have been coming to you for healing and a lot of these guys memorized the whole first five books of the Bible. Those Pharisees, they devoted their whole lives to just sitting around reading the scriptures and talking about them. This centurion dude, he's not even a Jew. How does he have greater faith than any you've seen?Ironically, as a kid I got in trouble for asking too many questions about this story. It honestly didn't seem like the centurion was any different than anyone else. I mean we barely know anything about him. How'd he show great faith? Several poor frustrated teachers told me I just needed to accept the story and “have faith”.I always wanted to scream, “I'm trying to have faith, but y'all can't tell me what it is.” Their frustration with my many questions led me to believe “having faith” meant “quit asking questions”. Which may work for some people, but I've never been able to shut down that part of my brain.Turns out, Jesus never told us to just “shut up and drink the Kool-Aid.” He's OK with ALL of our exhausting questions. Faith isn't about not thinking; it's about knowing the answers are good and worth finding.In the case of the centurion, the answer I found was exactly what Greg and I needed to know when we were struggling with feeling unworthy.Consider how the centurion's attitude directly contrasts what the Jewish elders said. They said, “He deserves to have you do this because he helped build our synagogue.” The centurion who was a wealthy, generous, powerful leader, said, “I'm not worthy to have you in my home. I understand how power works. If you choose to, you can heal my servant with just a command”.The attitudes of the religious leaders and the attitude of the centurion couldn't be more different. The leaders were proud and trying to impress. The powerful military commander humbly asked for mercy for a servant.Great faith is understanding Jesus' power, realizing we don't deserve anything from him, yet trusting enough to ask anyway. Jesus' definition of “great faith” as modeled by the centurion might be why survivors seem to have an insider's advantage when it comes to knowing God. When we have hit rock bottom, it's a lot easier to see we don't have anything to offer God. Following Jesus isn't a religion based on earning our way “in” by impressing him. It's a relationship built on knowing our need.In those moments, when we realize we don't deserve anything from Jesus, we are almost there. When we are facing the pain in our world, when someone close to us is suffering, we can find hope when we call out to Jesus like the centurion did. Great faith is saying, “Jesus, I don't deserve anything from you, but I know you have authority over this situation and you care more than I do.”When we humbly realize we don't deserve anything from Jesus, somehow our eyes are opened to God's great work in this world. When we know how much we don't deserve God's love and acceptance, we are suddenly freed to live in it. We no longer live in the trap of focusing on our own unworthiness. We are fully aware of our unworthiness and our acceptance anyway.I believe this awareness of our unworthiness and how much God adores us is at the heart of Jesus' message. My journey to fully embrace this message has felt like a lifelong wrestling match with fear, pride, shame, doubt, tradition, and stubbornness. As the following story from my religious past illustrates:I walked up to the pulpit nervously. “Was I really going to do this? I couldn't believe I was sharing my story in front of all these people. The small group of young people gathered that evening felt like a stadium to me because I was about to bare my soul to them. It was too much. I hated public speaking in the first place. I got nervous just responding to roll calls in class, how could I stand up and share my story? What if they rejected me?”I took a deep breath. I looked down at my notes. They just looked like blurs. I was about to hyperventilate. I was going to pass out. At least it would get me out of this. I looked around the room in sheer and utter terror. All these faces ready to reject me like I had been rejected so many times before. Passing out would be a relief.Then I looked beside me. There was Jesus. Smiling in approval. Reminding me how he had not only forgiven me but fully accepted me. Reminding me how loved I am. Telling me God the creator of all the universe was looking at me in this moment as a doting Father proud of his little girl who had just come home. Proud that I was going to tell everyone what a mess I had been but he loved me anyway.So, I did it! I like to believe it was an eloquent call to follow Jesus and know the Father's love, but it was probably a bumbling bunch of over-sharing. Still, I shared my story. I told this daunting group of church people not only about ways I'd been victimized but also, about ways I had hurt people. I told them how God freely forgave me and gave me new hope and joy. I was excited about my life, my ministry, my upcoming marriage, and my education career as I approached them all with Jesus by my side. I finished my speech took a deep breath and felt Jesus giving me an approving hug. We did it! I felt total joy in that moment.But it was just for a moment. Someone interrupted us. The youth pastor rushed to the podium and nudged me to the side. I looked away from Jesus and began to listen to this pastor as I crept off of the stage.I had been a fool. I had been suffering from a delusion. Jesus wasn't there. He didn't accept me. This pastor pointed out the fallacy of my crazy beliefs. God is clearly a God of justice and I clearly needed to be punished for my mistakes. I couldn't just commit all of those sins and have joy. How could that even be possible? The way to please God was through strict adherence to the moral code of the Bible. I was so sure that I had been with Jesus, but as I sat under this cloud of shame, I couldn't find him anywhere.The pastor looked at me and passed his final condemning judgement on me. “Cindy will never have the kind of marriage she could have had because of the mistakes she has made.”How could I have ever thought God accepted me? What was wrong with me? I didn't even deserve this pastor's acceptance. I was misleading all of these young people by flippantly sharing about my past as if it didn't even affect me anymore. I needed to be remorseful and sullen. I needed to constantly feel guilty for my mistakes. I didn't deserve joy.Of course, I didn't literally see Jesus visibly standing beside me or giving me a hug, but I felt his love and acceptance. Unfortunately, I also allowed judgmental church people to keep me from embracing his very real presence in my life.Accepting Jesus' love after so much shame has been a long journey for me. This morning, I thought about my journey as I read Luke 7: 11-16. This time, something jumped out at me. In six short verses, Luke recounts the story of Jesus raising a young man from the dead. It drives me crazy that Luke only wrote six verses. If I'd been there, I'd have written a book about the boy, his mom, how he died, what her life would have been like without him, what Jesus was wearing, everything he said and a million other details. Because Luke only included the bare bones of this story, we know each detail he included is significant.Then he went up and touched the bier they were carrying him on, and the bearers stood still. He said, “Young man, I say to you, get up!” The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother. Luke 7:14-15 (NIV)One of these significant details is that Jesus touched the bier the young man was being carried on. It seems like such a trivial detail in our culture, but I imagine Luke's original audience immediately saw how scandalous touching the dead man's bier was. Jews didn't touch things associated with dead people. Nothing was more unclean to them than dead people. They had tons of rules about what to do and not to do when it came to dealing with a dead body. There were rituals and waiting periods to go through to cleanse yourself after becoming unclean from coming in contact with a dead person or even something that was touching a dead person. The rules were so extreme that people carrying the body carried it on a bier with poles attached so they wouldn't touch what the body was touching.When Jesus touched the bier of this dead man, it would have been shocking. Like doing tequila shots and dropping an F bomb in a Baptist church shocking! People were appalled. Southern Belles would have fainted. Youth Pastors would have jumped up to tell the youth “touching funeral biers is NOT allowed.”Only, there was this glaring problem with all of the judging about how unclean this made Jesus: Jesus raised the man from the dead!What do you do with that?I know most people dismiss this story as a fairytale or myth because people die and we've never seen any of them come back from the dead. Death is pretty final and that feels quite certain.The most amazing part isn't really that Jesus raised someone from the dead. If he's truly God, of course he could do that. It's amazing and all, but that guy isn't still walking around. He eventually died (again).What's amazing is how Jesus completely annihilated the basis of religious judgmentalism. How are you going to call him unclean for touching a mat with a dead man on it after he raised the dead man?Get this! What is even more amazing is what that means for you and me when it comes to all of those judgmental rules: They make no sense when Jesus completely changes the situation. How are you going to judge me by my past when I've been accepted by God Almighty, the Ruler and Creator of the Universe?Yes. All those religious judgments about me, actually made total sense. I was once a wreck. I messed up royally. I deserved to live the rest of my life drowning in constant guilty remorseful shame. My propensity for sin was so great that I could drag anyone who came in contact with me down. Association with me was enough to make anyone “unclean”. Only, God threw a paradigm changing, grenade of total acceptance at religion's rules for judging me: He gave me right standing with him while I was still a mess. His acceptance motivates and enables me to become better.He hugged me that day on the stage. Not literally, but he was there. He was with me. He walked through the religious crowd and did something utterly shocking to them. While I was being told about how unclean I still was, Jesus did the unthinkable: he accepted me and changed everything.I don't mean he loved me in some overarching, general, well wishing, sense. He actually accepted me and declared that I have right-standing with God the Father through him. He heard those stories that made religious leaders cringe and he said, “That's my baby girl right there. We got this.” He allowed himself to be associated with me and my “unclean” guilty story in a way that appalls religious people.It is incredible to reflect on how far I've come since speaking to the youth group that day. I've been married for twenty-eight years. I have a wonderful marriage. My husband and I laugh at the twisted way the “prophecy” the pastor spoke over me has come true. Through the years, we have counseled over a dozen couples who were living in misery because of religious sexual shame. The condemnation from that youth pastor left me so shamed, I spent years praying for God to take me out of the world. Instead, he empowered me to accept his forgiveness and freedom. Then I got to share the same freedom with people who had done a good job following the rules, but were caught up in the trap of thinking they deserved something from God.I'm still growing in my freedom from being a shame-filled judger. It is one reason I re-wrote this book. My first edition accurately portrayed my bitterness with how American church culture misrepresents Jesus. However, it offered little hope. Thankfully, the community of people following Jesus is still at work. Several faithful believers called me out. They helped me confront areas where I still need to grow. As I let go of (most of) my bitterness, I'm finding freedom to be even bolder as I stand against church abuse. My outrage is no longer tinged with questioning how God could let me be shamed. I love the lessons he continues to teach me. As I let go of my shame, I feel honored to get to help others do the same.I am learning to look past the problems with the institutions as I focus on the hope Jesus called his followers to. As we all put away our bitterness, and rise above all of our shame, we will bring hope to a hurting world. We will be gracious, forgiving, and generous, because we realize we don't deserve anything from God, but he forgives us anyway. His forgiveness gives us hope, for all the messes we see around us. I pray you can learn from my mistakes and not fight against the peace so freely available to you. I hope your journey is less like a wrestling match, than mine has been, and more like a hike with a friend. Either way, God adores you through it all.

How Can I Tell if I’m a Judger or a Perceiver?Tune in to hear Edythe and David discussing the differences between Judging and Perceiving.Myers-Briggs Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) types are very different in terms of how they operate. J’s prefer structure, order, and making plans. P’s prefer being spontaneous, flexible, and easy-going. Is there an easy way to tell them apart?Podcasts cited in this episode include:* Are Perceivers Lazier than Judgers? https://www.spreaker.com/user/atopcareer/29-are-perceivers-lazier-than-judgers* Perceivers and Time Management: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/perceivers-and-time-management/id1439049877?i=1000440556311* Myers-Briggs for Midlife Career Changers: https://www.spreaker.com/show/myers-briggs-mid-life-career-changersMyers-Briggs Question Corner is the weekly MBTI career podcast brought to you by DC Metro Career Counselor Edythe Richards.Edythe is the creator of A Top Career - a web site which specializes in helping people back into work.Find out more at www.atopcareer.com

Episode 2 This week, Chaka and Parker take on the controversy surrounding the 2020 NBA Slam Dunk Contest, discuss the XFL as compared to NCAA Football (and NCAA Basketball, as well), and give you a History Lesson on NCAA transfer rules.

Have you ever been around someone you are trying to avoid?  Or maybe it is someone that you feel like you just cannot get along with?  Maybe you believe there is someone out to get your job or get you fired?  Maybe it is your boss or manager that you feel like you have to walk on egg shells around because you just "know" they are out to get you?  And any one of these feelings translates into your shoulders creeping up to your ears, your heart rate increases, you have these horrible imaginary conversations with yourself.   And at the end it all may say something like, "I'll show them!".  Welcome to the "Judger Mindset"  our mindset that takes down the spiral path and pit of self-destruction.  Nothing gets accomplished, we get more and more skeptical and we wallow in our pit.  What if I told you there was a way to get out? What if I told you you can change! There is and this is were you have to employ your Question Thinking (tm), start asking switcher questions and get into the Learner Mindset. In this episode of  A New Direction we are blessed with the presence of Clinical Psychologist and Coach to the Fortune 10 Dr. Marliee Adams PhD and her best selling book Change your Questions Change Your Life:  12 Powerful Tools for Leadership Coaching and Life.  This book is a game changer for everyone!  Seriously, Change Your Questions Change Your Life gives you tools to help you take control of those immediate reactions you have to different people and situations and helps you start developing questions to switch you from having a Judger Mindset so that  you can rationally and calmly through the asking of the right question come up with not only better answer but better results.  Change Your Questions Change Your Life is perfect to better develop yourself, teams, leaders, and coaches.  When you purchase your copy you can enter in a code to get your free "choice map" that can help you navigate from Judger, to Switcher questions so you can get to the Learner Mindset.  Read set Get your Copy Here! Please say thank you to our sponsors we are so grateful that they commit their dollars to A New Direction and help us grow! EPIC Physical Therapy, injury, post surgery, nagging aches and pains, gym rats, to professional athletes, the highly skilled and certified staff at EPIC Physical Therapy is there to get you back to where you want to be.  They understand that every body is different, so they design a custom treatment for you using the latest technology and knowledge.  EPIC Relief.  EPIC Recovery. EPIC Results!  That is EPIC Physical Therapy, check them out at www.EPICpt.com and Linda Craft & Team, Realtors, for 35 years they have created relationships that last a life time, that is why when it comes to real estate they are known as the "legends of customer service".  The know that your home is personal.  It is part of your legacy of life.  And they want to get to know you so that they can sell your home in the way it should be sold, and help you buy the home to start your next chapter of life.  Why not click on over to www.LindaCraft.com Don't forget you can listen to AND on The Oak 93.5 fm in Raleigh?  What?  You say you don't live in Raleigh?  No problem you can stream the show every Thursday at 4 pm EDT and Sunday mornings at 10 am EDT by clicking here OAK 93.5  Tell your friends!

In this episode Kathy Kolbe and Bret Loucks discuss clutter. If you are a clutterer, you've surely been discouraged in educational environments, at work and maybe even at home. However, for some of us, clutter is a natural part of our creative problem solving process. Without it our lives would simply be boring. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are Myers-Briggs Perceivers Lazy?Today’s question is from a lady named Gia. People who are Perceivers on the Myers-Briggs really annoy me. I am a Myers-Briggs J, and I have a lot of trouble being around wishy-washy people who can't decide on anything. Are Perceivers lazy?Myers-Briggs Question Corner is the weekly MBTI career podcast brought to you by DC Metro Career Counselor Edythe Richards.Edythe is the creator of A Top Career - a web site which specializes in helping people back into work.Find out more at www.atopcareer.com

1. Ask God to convict you. Surrender. 2. Stand Up—Use your influence 3. Be a Lover. Not a Judger. Stay submitted to God and serve Him with Humility and Grace

This week on The Living Experiment we're talking about Questions — the value of asking more of them, and the potential of making inquiry a regular life practice. Rainer Maria Rilke once advised a young poet to "live in the questions," and that advice can serve all of us. So here, we share the questions we've found most helpful in keeping us on a good path, as well as the questions that tend to get us in trouble. From the reality-challenging questions that define Byron Katie's "The Work," to the Learner and Judger questions that make up Marilee Adams' Choice Map, we explore the evolution that is possible when we ask, rather than assume. Finally, we offer you some experiments to help you consider the questions you might benefit from asking in your own life. Get full show notes and resources at http://livingexperiment.com/questions/

Tonight, Karen will explore the Judger vs. Learner mindsets, the transformational magic of "Switching Questions," and what your perceptions of others reveal about you!

Tonight, Karen will explore the Judger vs. Learner mindsets, the transformational magic of "Switching Questions," and what your perceptions of others reveal about you!

In this podcast, we explore some general characteristics of Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) types. We also discuss how the J-P preference relates to a type's functions and why it can be particularly tricky for introverts to sort out their true J-P status.

Second Date Update: Judger, no judging.

Episode 400 - From Judger to Lover by RBAR

Welcome to the 2nd Episode of The Be Human Podcast. In this episode, we look at the Adaptive Response filter. Knowing how someone responds to changes in their life makes … The Behuman Podcast: Episode 002 – The Adaptive Response Filter – Judger or Perceiver Read More » The post The Behuman Podcast: Episode 002 – The Adaptive Response Filter – Judger or Perceiver appeared first on NLP Northern Ireland.

My guest today is Julia Holloway. I sparked a friendship with her a few months ago. Unlike some of my other guests on the show, I have not known Julia for years but our connection was obvious and immediate. At the time, I was seeking advice from women who have experience balancing a full-time career and a business of their own. In the hectic world we live in today where women often take on more responsibilities at home and at work than men, it was not an easy search for me, and proposing an hour interview on them seemed like a lot to ask. Julia was very kind to let me into her world and conduct an interview on her professional life. Julia is a strategic distribution consultant at a leading US provider of annuities and insurance. In addition, she runs her company called Julia Holloway Consulting where she focuses on business consulting and leadership coaching for corporate and individual clients. Julia’s company will be the focus of our discussion. Those of you who have contemplated starting companies of your own are in luck! We won’t go into details on how to set up a company. There are plenty of tools and resources online for that purpose. Julia will help us understand the multifaceted nature of being a consultant and a coach, and what she finds most rewarding in her practice as well as how she overcomes challenges. In this episode, Julia explains the Five Coaching Elements integrated with Tai Chi movements during her workshop called “The Alchemy of Awareness“: “If you create a bigger architecture of awareness with your body, mind and behaviors, that gives you a broader access to yourself and to the world. Furthermore, the more you can ground your awareness, the more choices you have.” – Julia Holloway Awareness is not only meditation or the idea to constantly controlling your mind. Julia teaches her students about their mind and body connections. Topics and exercises in her workshops involve questions such as: What is awareness? How does it come to you? How does the brain function? Julia also introduces the Learner/Judger™ mindset created by Dr. Marilee Adams: “Learner/Judger™ mindset distinctions allow people to shift from blame-focused questions that impede success to solution-focused questions that facilitate it. Whether we ask Learner or Judger questions frames our thinking, listening, behaving, and relating. This is why we focus on our mindset first. The goal is to build a more resilient Learner Mindset.” – Inquiry Institute Julia’s mind-body workshop is part of the Julia Holloway Consulting and Coaching practice. I further invited her to help us understand the connection between business and therapy. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/feisworld/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/feisworld/support

When you can't control the mind, you can lightly control the breath....and with that comes so much freedom...because you'll find yourself rooted in the Here and Now....feeling the breath...not fused with your thoughts/beliefs/stories. You can hang out with The Judger in the mind or you can be with the breath. So take a break, get comfy, lie down, savor gravity and experience this simple pranayama exercise: Inhale through your nostrils, and exhale through your nose. Inhale through your mouth, and exhale through your mouth. Inhale through your nostrils, and exhale through your mouth Inhale through your mouth, and exhale through your nose.

Teleseminar with Marilee Adams on Learner/Judger, the Choice Map and how to use it

Digging into the Depths -- Romans 1-8