The Kind Leadership Podcast

One hundred is a nice, round number. It's also quite an achievement. Most importantly, 100 is/was our episode goal. Since we launched, we didn't miss a week. Through work travel, vacations, a pandemic, job changes, and everything else life threw our way, we stuck to a schedule. For us, this was about growth through challenges and critical review. We admitted to mistakes and celebrated success. KL has also been about you, the listener. Early on, we stopped worrying about how many of listened and focused on creating great content for any number who did. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your feedback. Thank you for keeping us going. In our final episode, we look back on our favorite moments, the ones that make us cringe, and how we felt about making this podcast come to life.

This is a big question. This is a face the mirror and sweat it out question. This is a nail biting, teeth grinding, try to ignore it because it's just too damn scary to face it and really think about it question. Ok... but why? Is there a chance we aren't following our purpose? We won't know unless we dive into it. The answer requires thought. There's no way around it. Start with these questions and enjoy the journey. 1. What would you do if you never had to earn another dollar? 2. What would you choose to do, even when it sucked? 3. What did you love doing as a child? 4. What makes you afraid of judgment? 5. What makes you angry?

With so many variations on the definition of Quiet Quitting, we're not able to tell you exactly what it means. We can't even tell you exactly how it feels. But, we know it when we see it. Maybe. On one hand, Quiet Quitting is when you do you job and nothing more. No extra assignments. No "above and beyond." No overtime of any sort. On another hand, Quiet Quitting is not doing anything you are specifically asked to do. That may mean that your day is wide open because no one has emailed you, called you, or given you a to-do list. You might get to Friday without ever having done any actual work. In either case, Quiet Quitting can be damaging to your business and to your team. In this episode, we discuss ways to prevent or treat Quiet Quitting.

You might struggle to imagine a gym full of people exercising their brains, but replace "gym" with "office" or "classroom" and you'll understand. Our brains are the muscle that sets us apart. Training those blobs of gray matter elevate our ability to negotiate the big and little challenges we face every day. Through intentional engagement, you can buff your brain. It's time to get your pump on.

Here's the deal: some requests are unreasonable. This is not the same as "out of line" or "unethical," though those requests are unreasonable and should be addressed quickly. We're talking about the requests that may prevent you for getting home in time for family dinner or put you on a red eye flight for an early morning meeting. You *could* do it, but is it necessary? If not, how do you address those requests without limiting your career?

Uh oh. Your boss' boss just called you and your peers in for a quick meeting. The news: you're getting a new boss. OR You've just accepted an offer and are moving to work for a new boss. In either situation, you have to learn a new leadership style. One one hand, this can be stressful. What are the expectations, boundaries, and cultural values of your leaders? On the other hand, this can be exciting. You can reinvent yourself, your old leader wasn't all that great anyway, or you really want to work with this new boss. No matter the path to a new leader, there are some critical actions you can take to ensure a smooth(er) transition.

Generally speaking, people don't enjoy delivering bad news. At the same time, people don't want to get bad news. Delivering a tough message at work can result in a no-win situation for everyone, but with preparation and critical listening skills, leaders can help their team through the message and get back on track. Today, we discuss multiple instances of tough messages. Sometimes, you have to make a call that will negatively impact your team. Other times, you have been handed a message to deliver. Regardless of the situation, we have key strategies to improve the outcome.

We've all been there. Day in and day out, we're on autopilot. Not to take anything away from autopilot because the technology is truly amazing, but the drone behavior is hardly one of creativity. When was the last time autopilot surprised you with a new idea or shifted the culture in a positive way. When we are stuck in a rut, we need a serious boost to get out, but first we have to admit we're in a bad place. For the sake of argument, let's start there. Now what?

Our final episode on Stoicism focuses on applying the beliefs and virtues to your professional life.

Part 5 is our final discussion on Stoic virtues. We will discuss Wisdom. Next week, we close this series.

In part 4 of our series, we discuss Justice.

Continuing our discussion on Stoicism, today we discuss Self-Control.

The Stoics held four virtues central to their philosophy. Today, we dive into Courage.

Stoicism is a school of philosophy from ancient Greece and Rome in the early parts of the 3rd century, BC. The fundamental beliefs focus on action rather than just thought. Key among the beliefs are the four virtues- Courage, Self-Control, Justice, and Wisdom. In episode 1, we discuss the background of Stoicism. In future episodes, we will dig into each virtue and wrap with a focus on employing Stoicism in your professional life.

Reinvention has so many benefits, but who cares because I'M AFRAID OF ALL THE POTENTIAL NEGATIVE OUTCOMES! Fear of change is real, but your fears may be more imagined than your realize. We lean into the teachings of Tim Ferriss and discuss "Fear Setting." Grab three sheets of paper and a pen. On our final episode of this series, you'll be writing out your own fears.

You're on your way to a reinvention (or a renewal). You understand what it means and why this change is important. So now, how do you do it? Luckily, we aren't proposing an eight week program of intensive self inspection. That said, there are a list of techniques to consider and many of these we've mentioned in previous episodes. Self understanding and self awareness Define core values Ask yourself what we want to change Set realistic goals Build positive habits Practice self reflection Be honest with yourself Ask for support Surround yourself with the right people Celebrate your success

Before we even get into this, we're not saying you have to reinvent yourself; we're saying you probably should reinvent yourself. It's a nuanced point. Why should you reinvent yourself? Good question. In this episode, we define personal reinvention and explain the potential benefits. The good news is that you've probably done it many times (without knowing it). The better news is that you can make intentional changes for an even better outcome.

In our final episode of this series, we wrap up the eight weeks of self-esteem improvement. Again, this is an ongoing process that will require plenty of work. Some weeks may take longer than others. Build up and you progress forward and remember that as a person (and as a leader), you owe it to yourself to always improve. Week 5 – Develop your mission statement Week 6 – Do something uncomfortable Week 7 – Build your social system Week 8 – Quit negative self talk

In part two of our three-part series on Self-Esteem, we start the eight week program toward improving your self-esteem. You'll hear us say it many times, but this is not "eight weeks and done." This is a layered approach with each week living on and requiring vigilance. This process is not easy but it's worth it. Week 1 – Social media cleanse Week 2 – Cut out toxic friends Week 3 – Clean your environment Week 4 – Create micro wins Next week, we close this series with the final steps.

Self-Esteem is a comlex engine that is both driving the way we feel about ourselves and driven by the way we feel about ourselves. When our self-esteem is high, we probably don't even notice it, but when it's low... oh boy. In part one of this three part series, we crack open self-esteem. How are our lives impacted by self-esteem and how does self-esteem impact our lives? Where does it come from? In parts two and three, we break down a path to increasing self esteem. While there is no quick fix, there is a path forward. Combine your efforts with positive habits and a bit of life editing to discover a better "you."

Dead or disregarded? The days of landing a job on a factory line and working until your pension starts seem to be in the past. The "services economy" has created new careers built on switching jobs multiple times. Don't even get us started on the "Great Recession." Oh, and how does the gig economy contribute to job stability? The truth is, employment stability is the measure we should take. Do we, as individuals, have the skills and a track record that makes us hirable? The demand we create for ourselves will outlast the fleeting stability of a job.

Thinking back to our episode on The Great Resignation ("I Quit"), we consider the pros and cons of Loyalty. The pros, you say, are obvious: strong relationships, deep trust, better communication, authentic personalities... Yes. We agree. But, if we know that we want these traits, why we sometimes dip our toes into the cons of loyalty. The cons? How about: "yes men," a reluctance to speak truth to power, lack of creativity, selfish behaviors. In short, Darth Vader ran a tight ship with legions of people getting the job done, but I doubt Death Star's culture was flourishing. So, how do you strike a balance with loyalty?

If you are afraid of professional failure, then you are (essentially) afraid of professional success. As it happens, fear has a seat in many offices, home or other. But what is it that really scares us? How do we settle that fear?

If it seems like our entire lives are a series of decisions (or indecisions), then you're right. Every day we choose something over something else. While many of those choices are on autopilot, some require deep thought. While many of us may conjure up reasonable excuses or point to unforeseen collisions in the Universe as clear examples of events that are out of our control (and, hence, not a result of our decisions), we still own the choice that brought us there. It's sticky, isn't it? Ultimately, the decisions we make reflect our values. So, how do we make better decisions?

It's true. You'd probably know that, but all that time spent splitting your attention between texts, social media, Zoom calls, and driving has dulled your light. Now what? Slow down and embrace mono-tasking. Doing one thing at a time can help you get more done and maintain your sanity in the process.

Crying is a normal emotional reaction to any number of triggers. A big one can be stress and work can be stressful. You may also bring your personal life to the office or feel humiliated or get bad news. You may also be the person who never cries (and that's ok too, but don't judge those of us who do cry). Leaders need to offer empathy and kindness when their employees cry. If you've been there, you know how vulnerable that feels. Today, we talk through techniques for recovering from an emotional moment as well as ways a leader can help their people feel safe and respected.

Rumination is the evil cousin of Reflection and when we spend too much time with that one, we end up throwing stuff off a bridge and knocking over mailboxes. Sure, it may make us feel better for a moment, but rumination can be destructive when we can't stop. Reflection is our opportunity to be curious about ourselves and how we interact in the world. While it can be uncomfortable at times, growth comes from friction. How do we get there? Make it a habit. Schedule time on each day to answer a few questions. If you need some inspiration, pull from some of the questions below. What have been my top 3 highlights of the week and why? What have been my top 3 challenges and why? How well have I been focusing this week and why? What is your top 3 focus for next week and why? How motivated (how do you feel) have you been on a scale 1-100 the last week and why? Did I live up to my core values and personal mission today? Did I be a person others can respect today? Did I respect my body the way I should today? Did I make a positive impact on the world today? Did I perform at my best today? Did I have negative emotions today? Why? Did I use my time wisely today?

What does it mean to "think like a scientist?" If you didn't know anything, would you ask questions or do all the talking? Now, can you admit you really don't know as much as you think you do?

Take a joke or tell a joke? Laugh at the world or make the world laugh? Which has more value for business leaders and how does that choice impact your team? In this episode, we're back to our classic KL format. We discuss how humor can make (or break) your leadership style.

Ida B. Wells was born enslaved and grew up to publicize the prejudice and violence against black people in America. She wrote about lynchings, propaganda against black Americans, and the women's suffrage movement. In 2020, eighty nine years after her death, she was awarded a Pulitzer Prize. This episode combines our Black History Month finale with International Women's Day. Dr. Stephanie Shipp, Vice President Global Equality and Strategy for Salesforce, talks about how the courage of Ida B. Wells motivates her today. Dr. Shipp also explains that minorities are still fighting the same battles today.

If you head to Wikipedia, you'll see a list of Shaquille O'Neal's basketball accomplishments. The list is over 30 lines long. Some lines include stats like 15x All-Star and 4x NBA Champion. Those 30 lines are edited for space. But the more interesting accomplishments come further down the page. Dr. O'Neal received his Ed.D. degree in Human Resource Development, studied directing and cinematography, was sworn in as a Miami Reserve Officer, is a platinum recording artist, acted in multiple movies, and owns hundred of Five Guys and other businesses. Shaq is a big man in business. It's no surprise that IT Leader and entrepreneur Jonathan Dixon was drawn to O'Neal. The surprise was how this Texas business leader got to the topic. JD goes hard in the paint as he discusses the influence of Shaquille O'Neal on his personal and professional life.

Shuffled from family to family and farm to farm, Frederick Douglass endured the unspeakable tragedies of slavery and never gave up. After multiple failed attempts and the horrors that came with being caught, Mr. Douglass finally escaped. He took his education (he learned the alphabet from a slave owner's wife) and his wits (he taught himself to read and write) and ran north. Finally free, Mr. Douglass wrote memoirs, traveled to Europe, supported women's rights, fought to end slavery, spoke at events, and received nomination votes to be President. Most importantly, he defied the conventional wisdom of the time by being a free-thinking, successful, influential black man. His spirit lives on in the life and actions of our guest, Eric Moore. Mr. Moore is a proud Texan, an athlete, a father, a husband, and a business executive. He is a community leader who understands the importance of creating confidence and unity for young people. He gives back. He steps up. Today, he tells us his history and how Frederick Douglass shaped his life.

To celebrate Black History Month, we interviewed Kevin Childs and discussed the legacy of Jackie Robinson. In 1947, Jackie Robinson broke the color line when he joined the Brooklyn Dodgers. Branch Rickey, club president and general manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers, was actively scouting the Negro Leagues, but knew drafting a black player would be met with a racist backlash. He looked for men who were more than excellent baseball players; he needed someone who could withstand the verbal assaults without taking the bait and reacting angrily. When Robinson heard this, he said, "Are you looking for a Negro who is afraid to fight back?" Rickey replied that he needed a Negro player "with guts enough not to fight back." Robinson quickly learned that the backlash would not only be from the crowd, but also the dugout. Several teammates refused to play and an insurrection grew. In an act of allyship, Dodger management present a united front and ended the small uprising. Black men and women continue to enter a industries dominated by white people. They continue to face racism and unconscious bias. On this episode, Kevin Childs, a leader in the IT industry, talks about how he was inspired by Jackie Robinson and how he helps young black men and women navigate their careers.

With this episode, we conclude our self-indulgent deep dive into defining our own self-limiting beliefs (as uncovered through the Dickens Process episode). This installment focuses on our physical wellbeing. There is little doubt that strength training is good for your body. We want to answer this question: Is strengthening your core a core part of leadership?

Hear ye! Hear ye! Read all about it! But we're not. At best, we're "scrolling all about it." What happened to reading? Reading is a fundamental skill for building better people and better leaders. Do you have to read leadership books? No. Read anything. Read mysteries, non-fiction, choose your own adventure... Just read.

What does it mean to be successful? How do you know when you are a success? Is it your job title (you could make a business card and give yourself that title)? Is it the car you drive (you could assume massive debt)? Is it power, prestige, control, your name in lights? If you have not clearly defined success then it will be impossible to achieve. As part of our deep dive into our own Dickens Process self limiting beliefs, we define success. Well, we don't actually define it, but we do talk through everything YOU will need to define success.

Becoming self aware (or increasing your self awareness) is the key to unlocking a better life for yourself and the people around. Not to be hyperbolic, but self awareness can change the world. Yes, some people know they are jerks, but that isn't self awareness. Self awareness is understanding how your actions impact the people around you and making an effort to improve. But what if you think you're self aware but aren't? Lacking self awareness is more common than you think, moreover, we all lack self awareness at some point. To that end, perfection isn't the goal. Improvement is the goal.

Sure, it may be after the holidays are some of you are more than happy to stuff decorations back in the attic or basement or where ever they gather dust. Not so fast! While this is not a holiday episode, we do call upon Charles Dickens and "A Christmas Carol" for critical inspiration. We also reference Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins and Charles Dickens: a combo you never knew you needed. Get ready to look into the ghost of your (Christmas or otherwise) past and consider how those spectres are impacting your life today. These ghosts are those self-limiting beliefs and, one by one, you've got to learn to shed them. Your other option is to be an old miser. Your choice.

(Part 3 of 3) We started with Embarrassment and moved to Shame. Guilt made its way through some of these episodes as well. Ultimately, the dynamite we need to break out of this prison, is empathy. To quote Kendra Cherry, "Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else's position and feeling what they must be feeling." Not a bad way to look at your friends, family, and greater community after a truly strange past two years. We'll see you in 2022.

(Part 2 of 3) If "Embarrassment" felt somewhat funny or like a story you might tell about yourself to friends, "Shame" is the opposite. Shame is dark. Shame needs the dark. It grows when you keep it hidden. Like a fungus, it reeks and ruins everything it touches. To squash shame, add light. Make your feelings known to the people or person who you trust the most. Remember, the action is not who you are, rather, it is what you did. You can acknowledge it, make amends, and move forward without it. Shame is the baggage you don't want to carry anymore. You have to address it to tame it.

(Part 1 of a 3 part series) We've all been there. A slip up. A trip up. A mix up. A forgotten name or poorly placed splash of water. Imagine your most recent embarrassment. Now that you're deep in that moment, how did you get out? A quick joke, maybe? Ignore it and press on? Embarrassment is bound to happen. There are techniques to gracefully make your way through.

Why did I wait until hours before publication to write this summary? Because I, like you and everyone around us, procrastinates. To be clear, I wasn't being lazy; I was avoid responsibility by placing other responsibilities in front of those with deadlines. I did not need to clean my house, clean the car, organize my sock drawer, or wash and fold the spare bed sheets... but I did. And for what? I did hours of work to put off the minutes it takes to write this summary! I knew this had to be done. I felt it hanging around my neck like an albatross. Procrastination creates undue stress that some of us believe improves our work. It probably doesn't. Just think how much better this summary would be if I had written it with plenty of time to edit and revise.

With the third installment of our series on "Anger," we discuss how to effectively manage your anger. From mild frustration to complete meltdowns, anger is normal and consequences will follow. Managing your emotions means you can take actions before you lose control to increase your stamina. We also talk through techniques for regaining composure. It should be no big surprise that these are age-old practices (maybe as old as anger itself). Odds are, some caveman was suggesting to his fellow caveman that a time-out might be a good idea.

In the first part of this series, we talked through triggers and the coded messages behind angry outbursts. We also explained that anger, as an emotion, is normal. What is also normal is the consequence to losing your temper. Uncontrolled, angry outbursts and behaviors have a laundry list of consequences. We probably know how anger can negatively impact relationships, but anger strengthens anxiety which, in turn, strengthens anger (and on and on). Our immune system will be weaker. Our lungs will suffer. In short, angry people can expect to die sooner. There's something else to be angry about. Oh yeah... and Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating.

Why do we get so angry all the time? Well, because anger is one of the oldest (and most complex) emotions. Anger is also a shield or a mask that hides our true feelings. We'll go to great ends to cover up fear or past trauma. We'll make a big show of our anger or we'll ice someone in a passive aggressive response. The good news is that anger is normal. Since we all feel it, we shouldn't shame ourselves for it. The key is understanding our triggers and measuring our response. Because this topic is complex, we've broken this conversation into three parts, but I need a time out before I can tell you about the next part and you should take that time to think about what you've done because you've really upset me and that's why I threw that glass and I won't lower my voice because I don't want to talk you. Whew...

When you're thinking about how to be a better leader, I bet "sleep" is not the first thing you think of. And, to be clear, we're not suggesting that you sleep on your decisions (though that may be a good idea sometimes). Today, we're talking about sleep as a critical piece of the wellness jigsaw puzzle. The better care you take of your mental, physical, and emotional wellness, the better care you can take of your people. But for now, splash some cold water on your face and finish your coffee.

Why do we insist on "Good Vibes Only?" Sure, if everyday is a good day then it seems like we'd all be so much happier, but that's just not the way the real world works. Unfortunately, every day is both good, bad, and everything in between. When we can live our authentic selves, then we can empathize with others in a meaningful way. Rather than insisting that "everything happens for a reason," we can ask better questions about the other person and listen to their state of mind. Suffering is human and we all feel let down sometimes. Exploring that feeling helps us value the good times. Maybe what we really need is "Vibes Only."

What if you never lied? Oh, I know... You're thinking, "But I *don't* lie!" But that's a LIE! Maybe you haven't stolen something or committed perjury, but have you participated in the complex web of lies that is SANTA CLAUS?! How about the Tooth Fairy? What about any story you stretched just a bit to make it sound more interesting. I mean come on... you mean to tell me that everytime someone has asked "How are you?" you've always been good? White lies are lies and lies are bad. Or, are they? Maybe some lies protect people, maintain relationships, and avoid that long, uncomfortable conversation with the grocery clerk about how you really are. Sometimes, you should lie but you have to be cautious because, lying at the wrong time has damaging effects.

We've spent the past year answering this question, piece by piece. We've discussed key behavior traits and met with people we believe embody the KL spirit. For our one year anniversary episode (I know, right?!), we found a topic that connects with the core belief of Kind Leadership-"Tough Compassion." How can we have a backbone and stick up for ourselves while allowing those with powerful, contradictory beliefs the space to express themselves? If you truly want diversity, you had better be able to answer that question. If you want new opinions, you need to be flexible (at the right time). You also need to know when to end the debate and move forward. Lastly, thank you for giving us this past year to explore. We hope you've learned someith (we sure have). In this episode, we also discuss our favorite episodes and "ah-ha" moments. Feel free to comment on our LinkedIn post with your thoughts.

We've all been dealing with so many changes in the remote workforce. Limited in-person engagements and stuffy video calls prevent leaders from monitoring the body language, facial expression, posture, and mood of our people. When we're on camera, we're TV ready (except for the occasional dog barking or surprise entrance of family member). So, how do we know when our people need more than professional coaching. How do we know when our people need support for their mental health? Luckily, the stigma is diminishing, but it's not gone. As leaders, we have to take action, ask questions, and observe (which usually means listen). In this episode, we dig into other key actions to check in with our people and ourselves.

Our company is large enough that we deal with two deaths at work every week. Those are just the employees; we don't have stats on how many of us are affected by deaths of a family member or close friend. So, that's two per week plus more. With that frequency, you'd think we'd be better at supporting our people through grief. Unfortunately, we're not. Grief has no clear timeline and everyone navigates their feelings differently. Don't let that scare you from being a good leader. The truth is, your leadership through this time will leave an impression that lasts forever. Let's talk about how to help your people and offer the best support possible.