Stop Sabotaging Your Success

Follow Stop Sabotaging Your Success
Share on
Copy link to clipboard

The podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.

Cindy Esliger


    • May 29, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 16m AVG DURATION
    • 169 EPISODES


    Search for episodes from Stop Sabotaging Your Success with a specific topic:

    Latest episodes from Stop Sabotaging Your Success

    168 - Running From or Running Toward

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2025 15:06


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger encourages us to examine our reasons for leaving a job to make sure we're moving from a place of strength and not defeat. Are we running from an intolerable situation or running toward something better? Cindy walks us through what both look like and why taking the time to move toward something with intention is better for our careers. So while leaving a bad job because it's draining us is a good move, make sure we're leaving with a step towards the next thing we want instead of just fleeing. The problem with just slapping down a letter of resignation and walking away dramatically without a goal in mind is that the satisfaction is temporary. When we impulsively run, we may fall into the same mess, just with a different title somewhere else. There's value in forming a clear vision of what we want next before handing in that resignation so we leave on our terms, confidently, instead of rushing out in overwhelm. Cindy talks us through how to take stock of our current situation, why we're leaving, and how to decide what comes next. What lessons have we learned from this intolerable place that we're identifying so we can avoid them in the future? Once we have a clear vision, we can leave the past and enter the new role with purpose. Cindy offers five strategies for making the transition smoother: 1) Give ourselves time, 2) Set realistic expectations, 3) Reward ourselves for having courage, 4) Stay curious, and 5) Reflect regularly. With intention, we can leave something bad with the purpose of heading toward something better instead of just running. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Making Confident Career MovesAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    167 - Is It Even True?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2025 17:01


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the internal voices we listen to that can prove to be one of the most insidious obstacles in navigating our workplaces. She examines how our own negative thoughts and overthinking can sabotage even the most accomplished professionals. So, how do we learn to question our own thoughts? How can we learn to separate facts from fiction in our own minds to embrace self-empowerment and move forward confidently? Cindy is here to help.Our own unchallenged thoughts can impair our decision-making and make us easy targets for manipulation. But just because we think a thing doesn't mean it's true. We need to learn to question some of our thoughts, especially the negative ones. To challenge the limiting beliefs with tangible evidence. Changing thought patterns isn't easy, but Cindy offers three strategies to help: 1) Practice daily thought audits, 2) Get a second opinion, and 3) Focus on progress, not perfection. Cindy posits that reframing our questions doesn't just change answers, it changes mindset. It shifts focus from fear to possibility. Because negative thoughts aren't just inconvenient but damaging, it's important to build our resilience and develop tools to challenge our thoughts. Cindy shares three ways to build that mental muscle: 1) Stay curious, not critical, 2) Normalize self-reflection regularly, and 3) Focus on the progress. Once we are able to build mental resilience, Cindy leads us through practical tools for moving forward. This episode guides us in challenging our own negative thoughts so we don't just believe everything we think, but counter our limiting beliefs with facts.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Questioning Your ThinkingAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    166 - The Power is Yours to Opt Out

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2025 17:18


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about choosing to opt out of toxic dynamics in the workplace. We don't need to continue trying to win the approval of toxic coworkers. We can disengage and break free from the harmful patterns. It isn't about giving up, it's an act of self-protection and empowerment. Cindy explains how to identify toxic dynamics and provides guidance on how to step back and reclaim our control and confidence.To help us see the truth behind motives, Cindy identifies five common tactics used to camouflage toxic behavior: 1) Manipulation, 2) Gaslighting, 3) Devaluing others, 4) Entitlement, and 5) Dismissiveness. These behaviors are often subtle and cumulative. Over time, they play into our self-doubt and create a toxic atmosphere. To turn our attention away from them and back to what we can control, Cindy offers these steps: 1) Reframe our role, 2) Detach emotionally, and 3) Reclaim our narrative.In the effort to disengage, toxic people can have extreme reactions, which make the effort more challenging. Cindy offers four ways to stay grounded while reclaiming our control: 1) Stop trying to change them, 2) Hold boundaries, 3) Stop feeding the cycle, and 4) Redirect energy. Once we have successfully disengaged from the toxic workplace scenario, we can focus on healing and growth. While toxic workplaces are draining and demoralizing, they don't have to hold us hostage. This episode shows how to get our power back. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Disengaging from Toxic Workplace DynamicsAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    165 - False Promises Just Keep You Hanging On

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2025 14:19


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the cycle of unrealistic expectations and false promises that keeps us striving indefinitely. It's not just exhausting, it feeds into a culture that thrives on our self-doubt and overwork. We're left blaming ourselves instead of identifying the truth, which Cindy explains isn't us but the system that maintains control with ever-moving goalposts. How do we break free from this unending grind? Cindy tells us how to create an authentic and fulfilling career independent of other people's arbitrary standards. Cindy calls the coercive control loop of false promises ‘future faking'. It erodes our confidence and fosters burnout. Continuing to shift the goalposts is designed to keep us striving but never arriving. It's a demoralizing control tactic that is used to maintain control and keep us off-balance. When we let it get to us, we start doubting ourselves, which causes us to double down in effort. Cindy says the first step to stop playing the game is recognizing that we don't have to prove our worth, and the second step is to redefine what success means to us. There are three common patterns that prevent us from taking back our power. 1) Unrealistic expectations, 2) Invisible work, and 3) Toxic dynamics. When we can identify those patterns, we can see them for what they are and reclaim our confidence and agency. Cindy offers a roadmap for how to acknowledge future faking and stop internalizing the problem. With her guidance, we can shift the power dynamic and choose ourselves, our goals, our values, and our well-being instead of playing a rigged game.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Stop Hanging On To False PromisesAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    164 - Don't Crush Their Dreams

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2025 19:11


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger examines the fine line between honesty and encouragement when offering advice. While we don't want to ignore challenges or sugarcoat reality for others, we also shouldn't crush their dreams prematurely by offering too much realism that comes across as pessimism. How do we encourage others while still offering constructive insights to help refine their path? Cindy offers a way forward through reframing the conversation in curiosity and empowering others to see potential instead of doubt. When we reflect on our experiences and offer advice like “don't get your hopes up” or “it's harder than it looks” we may think we're protecting someone from disappointment by being realistic. In reality, however, we're letting our own insecurities or cultural conditioning towards skepticism deflate their confidence. Cindy offers three reasons why telling people their dreams won't work is a waste of energy: 1) They'll figure it out for themselves, 2) We might be wrong, and 3) We're robbing them of growth. Cindy differentiates honesty from negativity and reframes our advice-giving with curiosity instead of cold realism. She suggests a line of questions about why they're excited or how they'll approach challenges. There are ways to be honest without crushing dreams. Cindy shares four strategies for how to answer honestly while also making it easier to take in: 1) Validate first, prepare later, 2) Frame feedback constructively, 3) Encourage self-reflection, and 4) Resist the urge to over-prepare them. Fostering possibility is good for everyone.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Empowering PossibilitiesAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    163 - Take Advantage of the Social Window

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2025 16:35


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the social window, the fleeting time that occurs during the first few weeks in a new environment, when people are more open to connection and bonding. The social window won't last forever, so it's important to take advantage of it to build relationships, establish influence, and form a supportive network. What is the best way to use the social window to our career advantage, and what should we expect while trying? Cindy explains the process.The social window offers the easiest time for us to engage in networking. There is a fleeting openness in it that creates a low-stakes environment for relationship building. Cindy shares five ways to make the most of the opportunity: 1) Be proactive, not passive, 2) Join group activities, 3) Leverage shared hardships, 4) Focus on quality over quantity, and 5) Follow up. Cindy discusses being intentional about the social window by deciding what we want to accomplish and forming a plan. Having goals will help prioritize our efforts when meeting new people. She suggests reframing our perspective to see introductions as a career investment instead of as a series of awkward moments. If we don't take advantage of this time, real consequences can follow. Cindy identifies three of the most common: 1) Feeling out of place, 2) Missed career opportunities, and 3) Undermined confidence.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Building Connections That LastAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    162 - Looking Backward to Move Forward

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2025 15:45


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the value of reflecting on our past experiences as a guide to navigating a more empowered future. Looking backward can teach us a lot. When we reflect on what we've been through, we can see unfinished business, repeated patterns, and things we've also done right. All these things become a strategic tool for forward thinking. But how do we look back without wallowing in regret or spiralling? And how do we use our experiences in the future? Backwards reflection isn't just about wishing we'd done things differently; it's about gathering data. Unfinished business doesn't stay in the past. It follows us into the future, undermining our confidence and sabotaging our career success. Reflection allows for analysis and reframing of the situation. Cindy has five ways to avoid falling into regret while reflecting: 1) Acknowledge what we wanted, 2) Allow ourselves to feel, 3) Separate fact from fiction, 4) Extract the lesson, and 5) Apply the lesson learned. Cindy gives us a guide for turning reflection into a powerful move for future success. Instead of stifling feelings about past experiences, she encourages us to process the feelings to clear the way for growth. By keeping reflection focused, we gain clarity. Identifying what we learned allows us to decide how to apply it moving forward. Cindy walks us through looking backwards with a clear purpose in order to shed light on the best way to proceed in our careers. Reflection isn't about regret, it's about resilience and capability. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Turn Past Lessons Into Future WinsAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    161 - Pivot, Don't Panic

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2025 15:40


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the skill known as pivoting. Our careers don't often unfold exactly as planned. More often than not, a major curveball out of left field flies in to disrupt our plans. It could be a new boss, an imploding project, or shifts in the industry, but whatever it is, we are left reeling and unsure of what to do next. Instead of panicking or withdrawing, pivoting is a skill that encourages us to pause and assess before making a deliberate move forward. Cindy looks at how to pivot and when, and guides us through learning to be adaptable. Security and certainty in today's workplaces are not guaranteed. We don't want to admit it, but things shift all the time. Rules change, priorities reshuffle, and our world can be turned upside down. Spiraling into panic is an easy temptation. Panic feels productive in the moment. But panic leads to catastrophizing and impulsive moves. Cindy outlines the proactive approach towards flipping the script that pivoting offers. She explains how to acknowledge the chaos, assess the situation, and figure out a strategic next move.Cindy shares a four-step process on what to do when an unexpected left turn happens. 1) Stop before doing anything, 2) Assess and find out what's really happening, 3) Strategize, and 4) Act. Pivoting isn't about perfection but about progress. It's easier with practice. Cindy advises building a resilience toolkit, embracing flexibility, celebrating progress, and maintaining perspective. This episode is all about learning to face the challenge of upheaval head-on without panicking. It's a valuable guide on taking rational next steps forward.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Creating Your Pivot PlanAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    160 - Are You Motivated More By Fear or Fun

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2025 15:45


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about perspective and how our perspective of our work colors how we feel about it. Our brains love to tell stories about what we're doing, but if the story being told at work is always “I hate this,” we'll be in misery. Cindy poses the alternative option: getting our brains to tell a story about enjoyment, which can change our experience at work to one of curiosity or even excitement. So, how do we do that? How do we shift perspective? Cindy asks what motivates us more: fear or fun? We've been sold the lie that misery equals merit, that being challenged and pushing harder at work, feeling stressed and unhappy, makes us better at our jobs. But being miserable is not the only way to work. If we choose to enjoy what we do, then we can make the same work fun and see it through the lens of curiosity and motivation. Cindy shares four strategies to help us turn even the worst tasks into a bit more fun: 1) Gamify our work, 2) Pair it with a reward, 3) Turn it into a challenge, and 4) Add personal touches. Work isn't always fun. But Cindy encourages us to be proactive about our own motivation. Motivation, rooted in either fear or reward, is the fuel that gets us through work. So Cindy breaks down how to generate our own motivation in a way that makes the task easier and more enjoyable, with advice on overcoming dread with action. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Turning Torture into TriumphAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    159 - Protect Yourself From Being Taken Advantage Of

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 17:55


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the cycle of enabling that keeps us picking up the slack for other people. Sometimes we are too nice, too accommodating, unable to say no, or just fixated on work being done perfectly so we do the work of others as well as our own. And when they come to expect it, we keep doing it. We're being taken advantage of and we're the ones allowing it. So how do we identify this cycle and break it? We set a precedent when we show ourselves to be the person who will always step up and always shoulder the burden. No matter our intentions when we first took on the extra work, because we continue accepting it, we become the person everyone dumps things on. It has a negative impact on our own workload, our sense of accomplishment, our health, and our careers. We need to protect ourselves and Cindy shows us how. Cindy shares five strategies for reclaiming our time and energy: 1) Set clear boundaries, 2) Stop jumping in, 3) Say no, 4) Prioritize our work, and 5) Ask for help. We set up an environment where we are overly helpful and coworkers are exploiting that willingness. But they often don't even realize they are exploiting us. So it's to everyone's benefit that we break the cycle. Boundaries are what create healthy workplaces. Cindy advises us on how to set necessary boundaries, say no, and pick and choose when we offer help.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Guarding Your TimeAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    158 - We Experience What We Expect

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2025 14:49


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores what happens when our brain's instinct to keep us safe from threats backfires and becomes a limiting and counterproductive loop. We spend a lot of time unconsciously on high alert, looking for signs that our trust might be betrayed or we'll be taken advantage of. But always assuming the worst limits what's possible. Cindy looks into considering a different perspective and shows us how to change our minds.A cynical mindset keeps us safe from disappointment but also keeps us stuck. And being a cynical or pessimistic person doesn't just affect us, it affects how others view us. It becomes a cycle where we expect people to be selfish and radiate mistrust so people stop trusting and focus on themselves, thus proving our own belief. Cindy offers insight into how to change our mindset and start believing in the possible instead of expecting the worst.Cindy advises reframing our thoughts and changing our beliefs through reflecting on our experiences. She shares four questions to ask ourselves to help guide our reflection: 1) What disappointments or regrets did we experience this year? 2) What did we feel should have been acknowledged? 3) What did we accomplish this year? and 4) How do the events of the year, good and bad, work to our advantage? Changing our default expectations changes not only how we think but how we show up and how we are responded to. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Reflecting on Your ExperienceAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    157 - The Cumulative Effect

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2025 18:34


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the cumulative effect of subtle and not-so-subtle micro-aggressions that build up in us over time. It's the minor incidents like a dismissive glance, an ignored idea, and being overlooked that we shove to the side. But they don't go away. They build up and can have a negative impact on our career without us even realizing it. Cindy explains how we can identify and take charge of these cumulative slighted feelings moving forward.  The unresolved baggage of micro-aggressions layered inside us gets carried around and affects how we view ourselves, behave, and even what we expect of our own achievements. So how do we identify and validate them so we can become stronger? Cindy shares five steps: 1) Name the baggage, 2) Reframe our perspective, 3) Set boundaries, 4) Focus on what we can control, and 5) Find our people.Workplace slights are real and the key isn't learning how to avoid these difficulties, but how to manage them and learn. Cindy calls this building emotional agility. We learn to resolve the stress-creating baggage so we can be free of the triggers. How do we reframe the triggers? 1) Pause and identify, 2) Challenge the association, and 3) Take action. Cindy guides us through the subtly complex world of microaggressions, cumulative baggage, resolution, and letting go in this key episode. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Unpacking the Emotional BaggageAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    156 - Pushing the Boundaries of Possibility

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2025 19:37


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the power of challenging cynicism to become a hopeful skeptic instead. She isn't talking about blind optimism but rather the power to balance realism with possibility. Why does being jaded hold us back? What if we get greater opportunities by shifting how we think about what's possible? Cindy uncovers how to push our boundaries to allow more hope into our careers.  The power of a positive attitude is real but it's not about a fake smile or saying everything's fine. It's about allowing positive thinking to change how we interpret setbacks and move forward with optimism. Cynicism may feel protective but in truth it's a limiting cage. Cindy outlines how we're held back by a jaded negative mindset and why reframing our thoughts to accommodate possibility and hope is such a vital shift.When Cindy says to embrace hopeful skepticism, she means refusing to assume the worst without proof. She offers three tips for how make skepticism work positively: 1. Pause and question, 2. Gather evidence, and 3. Stay open-minded. She discusses how to approach each step and then shares three tips on how to cultivate more hope: 1. Look for kindness, 2. Find the good in situations, and 3. Share the positivity. This episode highlights the power of a mindset shift to allow hope to expand our career possibilities.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Turning Cultivating HopeAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    155 - Make Overthinking Work For You

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2025 15:37


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about overthinking, that tendency to analyze and ponder a decision for so long that we become exhausted. Instead of being thorough, we trap ourselves in a cycle of indecision. Spending more time thinking about a decision doesn't necessarily lead to a better outcome and Cindy examines why that is. Why wouldn't extra thought be better? And if it isn't, how do we stop the spinning wheels and endless analysis of overthinking?  It's important to note the difference between thinking and overthinking. Thinking is productive. It's deliberate, focused, and rational. Overthinking is repetitive and unproductive. It's often fueled by fear: fear of judgement, failure or not being enough. Cindy highlights five ways to break free from overthinking: 1) Be solution-focused, 2) Organize thoughts, 3) Take a break, 4) Set a time limit, and 5) Accept uncertainty.Breaking the habit of overthinking requires making a decision and taking action before we've locked ourselves in the overthinking cycle. Cindy advises to start small, acting on decisions that aren't that big a deal in the larger picture. Not every choice requires agonizing hours of our limited time and energy resources. Cindy offers insight into shifting our thinking from ‘what if' analysis that focuses on what could go wrong to more productive considerations of what is under our control that will go right. Join her to learn how to start breaking the overthinking cycle.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Turning Overthinking Into ActionAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    154 - Uncover Your Limiting Beliefs

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2025 17:44


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the deeply ingrained unwritten rules we've been living by, the limiting beliefs we didn't consciously agree to that have been shaping our careers. Like an outdated operating system running in the background, these limiting beliefs quietly sabotage our potential. What is possible when we uncover them and align our goals with what we really want? Cindy walks us through discovering and changing the beliefs holding us back.  The first step is identifying all those secret rules we've internalized that have been silently dictating what we do. Cindy explains that the limiting beliefs come from well-meaning advice, societal expectations, and passing comments we internalize. She delves into four of the most common: 1) “I don't deserve better”, 2) “I'm not qualified for anything else”, 3) “I'm lucky to have this job”, and 4) “My work doesn't count unless I'm miserable”. So how do we shake these limiting beliefs and move past them? Cindy's advice starts with four questions designed to uncover the ones we hold about ourselves. She then explains how to replace them with new, empowering beliefs by breaking down why the old beliefs are limiting. Replacing the limiting beliefs includes choosing a path that is both challenging and believable, paying attention to intuition, and taking a leap past ingrained fear. Cindy guides us into freedom from the unspoken rules that have been shaping our careers and lives with false narratives.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Uncovering and Rewriting Your Limiting BeliefsAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    153 - Making Sense of Your Lived Experience

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2025 22:04


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger focuses on making sense of the lived experiences we have, the beginning of realizing when our bad days are stacking up and we see we're in a toxic cycle. It takes a long time to identify all the small signs for what they are. When we start to see the patterns emerge, we tend to doubt ourselves and we shouldn't. Cindy explains why it's vital to make sense of these lived experiences that are warning us that we need something better.  It takes strength to achieve the clarity we need to see our experiences for what they really are: manipulation, gaslighting, stress, and more. It's all the little things that add up. The promised promotion is always being kept just out of reach for faults they tell us they see. The sense that we can't do enough right at work. Being made to feel like the bad guy. And then a few moments of positivity are sprinkled in just often enough to make us doubt ourselves. Is it in our heads? No, it isn't, and Cindy points out why as she explains how to achieve clarity.How do we reclaim control? Cindy shares five ways to do it: 1) Set boundaries, 2) Stop trying to change them, 3) Recognize we deserve better, 4) Disengage from their behavior, and 5) Step out of the shadow. Cindy unpacks each of these steps for us. She lays out a roadmap for identifying gaslighting and trusting our lived experience and how to then free ourselves from the cycle. Cindy assures us that we deserve careers that align with our values and goals and we deserve a healthier work environment.    Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Breaking FreeAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    152 - Something Just Feels Off

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2025 16:29


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about that nagging sensation in the back of our minds that something is wrong at work. Not a big catastrophe, but a subtle persistent feeling that something isn't right and it's causing unease. We start to question whether anything actually is off or it's just us. We wonder if this feeling of discontent is just the way work is meant to be. Cindy is here to assure us that we are not imagining that feeling and talk us through how to identify and deal with those sensations.   The first challenge with this unease is recognizing it for what it is. We're not unhappy enough to quit but we're not happy staying. Cindy calls the feeling ‘psychological silt' and it's the residue of a thousand small unsupportive things that build up over time. The negative impacts of this create a lot of stress, self-doubt and low morale. Cindy shares 7 examples of these kinds of microaggressions and pinpoints of unease to help us identify them.  Cindy points out that the constant questioning and self-shame we subject ourselves to over whether or not we're imagining this unease is a form of self-gaslighting. It is paralyzing and undermining us. She urges us to break from the loop of doubt and guilt with 6 tips for addressing the issues: 1) Name the problem, 2) Trust our feelings, 3) Seek support, 4) Set boundaries, 5) Push back on normalization, and 6) Stop gaslighting ourselves. She examines how each step works to set us free to reclaim our careers. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Recognizing Your Worth at WorkAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    151 - Acceptance is Not Resignation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 15:28


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the difference between acceptance and resignation. When career roadblocks present themselves, there's a temptation to throw up our hands in despair and resign ourselves to defeat. But a better option is acceptance. Cindy explains how acceptance means seeing the situation for what it is and guides us on how to make the most of it.   The differences between resignation and acceptance are the differences between giving up and channeling our frustration into something productive. When we're passed over for a promotion or someone else takes credit for our idea, it's unfair and annoying but resignation is about giving up in despair. It gets us nowhere. Instead, acceptance allows us to say that life isn't fair but allows us to brainstorm our next move forward. It keeps us productive. Cindy shares three tips for maintaining career goals and ambitions while still calling out bad behavior when warranted: 1) Pick our battles, 2) Build a support system, and 3) Protect our energy. Cindy delves into how each step can assist with processing our feelings of frustration and anger without giving in to them. She instructs us on how to turn that disappointment into action with a properly measured response. Acceptance is not giving up. It's what keeps us moving despite roadblocks.   Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Turning Roadblocks into ResilienceAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    150 - Invite Others into Your Work

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2025 17:33


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how the lone wolf mentality of handling everything ourselves can backfire and hold us back. In toxic situations, it can even be used against us. Refusing to collaborate and work with others is self-imposed isolation that keeps us from valuable insights and promotes burnout. Cindy explains how we can learn to open ourselves up and work with others.    While Cindy isn't suggesting opening the floodgates to allow everyone to weigh on every decision, she is advocating for understanding the value others bring to our work at key moments. She provides four reasons why it's valuable: 1) Fresh perspectives mean better solutions, 2) Collaboration sparks creativity, 3) Shared workload means less burnout, and 4) Stronger relationships and better influence. Inviting others into our work isn't just helpful but strategic. It's not admitting weakness. Cindy explains how insights from others are like an expansion of our knowledge. It also increases our visibility within the organization and can be an advantage. How we approach obtaining collaboration and responses is key to how effective that input will be. Cindy has very specific advice for ensuring the collaboration benefits all parties and keeps us thriving and not retreating back into a lone wolf mindset.   Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Inviting CollaborationAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    149 - What's Getting in the Way

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2025 21:59


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses one of the frustrating aspects of collaborative work: when not every person involved is as invested in pulling their weight and getting the job done as you are. While it might be tempting to go it alone, that isn't the solution. The reality of collaborative work can feel like herding cats. Cindy dives into how to navigate the minefield of disengagement, obstruction, and conflicting ideas with teamwork intact and without losing sanity.   Why is every person involved in a project not equally invested or competent? That's simply the reality of workplaces and collaborative interaction. Cindy identifies the four main types of people we're likely to encounter and how they operate. 1) the Doers, 2) the Observers, 3) the Drainers, and 4) the Saboteurs. She then offers three tips for handling everyone on a team, regardless of which type they are. 1) Set clear expectations from the start, 2) Encourage accountability, and 3) Use influence.Cindy explores how to identify our own tendencies in a group project. It's possible that we are actually disengaged or indifferent. If so, we need to find a way to contribute meaningfully. She lays out how effective communication works and points out how to avoid simply identifying problems without working toward solutions. Observers can be turned into active contributors using careful strategies, and saboteurs can be redirected without a showdown. This episode is key to learning exactly how to navigate group projects effectively when each team member operates differently. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Navigating Team DynamicsAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    148 - Complete the Conversation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2025 20:51


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how the flurry of our everyday workplace conversations can lead to misunderstandings and confusion. When we are part of work conversations at the coffee machine or in email threads that overlap other conversations, how do we know what to follow up on? We miss out on clarifying the next steps, deadlines, and each person's responsibilities. So how do we mitigate this problem? How do we make sure we complete our conversations? Simply having the initial conversation is often not enough to ensure success. We can walk away assuming the other party is responsible for a task or not understanding a deadline. And this lack of clarity can lead to failed projects and finger-pointing. Cindy states that it's not about holding everyone hostage to an endless meeting assigning duties, but simply ensuring that the end of every conversation includes summarizing what the next steps are, who's doing what, and when it's due.  Cindy advocates for avoiding the psychological toll of incomplete conversations by employing practical strategies that tidy up lingering questions. She offers three tips for implementing this into our daily work lives. 1) Summarize before we wrap, 2) Be explicit about ownership, and 3) Set deadlines and enforce them. The goal is mutual understanding. Cindy explains how to slow down and close the conversational loop for increased workplace success. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Completing the ConversationAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    147 - Doing Versus Leading

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2025 23:21


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the shift from doing everything early in our careers to leading instead as we progress up the corporate ladder. While we start out efficiently executing tasks and cranking through work, the rules change as we achieve greater career success. The challenge of letting go of the reins to step into a leadership role becomes more important. But why? And how do we make that shift?Clearly, there's nothing wrong with our early ability to do tasks and be productive. But the higher we climb, the more we need to realize that doing everything ourselves must necessarily give way to leading others through the work and guiding from behind the scenes instead of acting on the front lines. This shift can be difficult and even terrifying. Cindy understands the inherent challenges we face and delves into why moving into leadership is a key shift and how to approach that shift with the right mindset. Cindy discusses the key components of leadership to help us clearly see what role we're moving into. She offers four key strategies to help us build the necessary skills for the transition: 1) Improve communication skills, 2) Learn to delegate effectively, 3) Cultivate emotional intelligence, and 4) Develop coaching and mentorship skills. She also offers tips on how to make the leadership shift easier on ourselves. This episode is Cindy's rallying call to move away from our “do everything ourselves” early career mindset so we can step into the leadership role necessary for advancement.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Amplifying Your ImpactAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    146 - Keep Challenging Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2024 14:32


    Cindy Esliger talks about the trap of the comfort zone and why staying challenged at work is better for long-term success in this episode. While the comfort zone and being at the top of your game feels good, staying there too long can lead to stagnation. Cindy discusses why setting goals and learning new skills is key to our career progression.  While there's nothing wrong with doing what we do best, just staying at that level and excelling eventually leads to some things we might not want. We shift from thriving to just maintaining the status quo. When we have too much stability, we aren't pushed to try new things and we get complacent, even start doubting our ability to advance. Cindy points out why it's better to be challenged and learn, especially once we reach the top of our game.Cindy delves into the benefits of challenges, not just professionally but personally. Continuously pushing forward is what keeps us sharp. She details five ways we can mitigate career stagnation and keep pushing: 1) Focus on why, 2) Find a new challenge outside of work, 3) Stop waiting for permission, 4) Address internal barriers, and 5) Create a personal development plan. Join Cindy as she guides us through career advancement by way of constant challenge. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Staying Challenged and EngagedAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    145 - Incentive Alignment

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2024 17:30


    Cindy Esliger addresses what to do when incentives for recognition or advancement in our workplaces are not in alignment with how we work. Sometimes doing everything we think is right isn't enough and we seem to be missing out on promotions or rewards. In those workplaces, the incentive structure is broken and we need to understand how to recognize the pitfalls and find alignment. This episode is a guide to how to manage this misalignment to advance to the careers we truly want. Cindy identifies three examples of what can go wrong if we don't recognize and adjust to the incentive misalignment in our workplace: 1) Work ethic erodes, 2) Pressure builds, and 3) We doubt ourselves. She explores what can be done if we're stuck in a system that doesn't value the right things and lays out five guidelines to focus on. 1) Set personal goals, 2) Document achievements, 3) Network internally and externally, 4) Manage energy, not just time, and 5) Learn the unwritten rules.Why do misaligned systems still exist? There are many reasons that Cindy explores but the fact remains that if we're stuck in one of those systems, we need to ensure that the broken system doesn't break us. Focus on what is in our control and take care of personal achievement and performance goals. Cindy's advice lets us know how to be good at our jobs and also recognize what is rewarded in our specific workplace systems so we can tackle both. The better we learn strategy, the more we're set up for future success. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Rethinking Workplace SuccessAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    144 - Nice is Overrated

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2024 18:25


    Cindy Esliger talks about the double-edged sword that niceness can be in this episode. The pressure to be nice in the corporate world can feel overwhelming but forced niceness can lead to self-sacrifice and the impression of being easily manipulated. Being kind is a far better goal than being nice and Cindy explains why that is and how to pursue kindness over being nice. Cindy outright states that “niceness is overrated” and then delves into why that is. Niceness often comes at the expense of being real, honest, and kind. Niceness is about appearances and is surface level. It means keeping things pleasant even when it betrays our own feelings or needs. Kindness, however, digs deeper. Kindness is showing up for people, and not just in easy moments. It's caring enough to tell someone an uncomfortable truth. And kindness is compassionate without being a doormat. The vast differences between working in a culture of nice and working in a culture of kindness are explored by Cindy. Kindness is generous, fair, honest, and vulnerable. Niceness might say positive things but kindness does positive things. The difference between simply keeping things cordial at the expense of ourselves and our goals and finding kind ways to tell truths and remain true to ourselves is the point of this episode. Cindy highlights the benefits of kindness in the workplace and shares advice on how to let go of being nice and pursue kindness instead. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Being Kind in the Corporate WorldAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    143 - Do It Your Way

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2024 20:00


    Cindy Esliger discusses the idea that following organizational norms and the well-worn path may not get us to where we want to be. Instead, we may need to carve out our own unique path that breaks from conformity and embraces action. How do we identify what to follow and when to break free? And how do we cultivate the strengths we need to trust ourselves to do it our way? In this episode, Cindy offers insight into those questions. In learning which of our rough edges should not be rounded off to suit the company, Cindy advises us to differentiate between being a maverick and being reckless. It's not about going rogue, it's about trusting our instincts and leaning into unique perspectives. She examines why failure is such an important teacher on this path and how to look for internal approval instead of external validation. Cindy specifically speaks to women when she debunks the myth that in order to be successful, women need to mimic male traits while minimizing their own. But playing a game designed by and for men is a losing battle. Employing confidence is the key to doing it our own way. Cindy breaks down the importance of communication, not taking things personally, and embracing our own strengths with confidence. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Doing It Your WayAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    142 - Are you a Drama Dabbler?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 18:46


    Cindy Esliger addresses those people who can't help but thrive on chaos in today's episode. The people who seem to always be in a state of emergency and who are addicted to drama. Perhaps it's even us who are the drama dabblers. Why is this mindset harmful to progress and success? How do we break free from someone who is intent on staying in chaos? And if it's us, how do we change? Cindy has advice to answer all these questions.Why do some people thrive on creating or being involved in dramatic situations? For some, it's a coping mechanism. Creating chaos that they can then fix is a way of feeling in control when stress levels are high or life is tough. But when they can't break free of the need to hop from crisis to crisis, it becomes exhausting and addictive. It pulls others into a vortex of chaos. So Cindy shares three key ways to break free from that cycle.Cindy introduces ways to distance ourselves from the perpetual drama queens that are sucking up our time. She offers insight into not rudely cutting people off but kindly protecting our own peace of mind. But what if we are the drama dabblers? Cindy shares four key ways to kick the drama addiction to the curb: 1) Acknowledge we're the ones fuelling the drama, 2) Stop the sensory overload of negativity, 3) Identify bodily signals that we've had enough, and 4) Recognize that something may be missing for us. This episode is a guide on how to identify, remove, or change cycles of drama in our lives. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Ending Your Addiction to DramaAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    141 - Don't Believe Everything You Think

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2024 19:14


    Cindy Esliger talks about the inner dialogue we all have that is often driven by stress, fear, and anxiety, and why we shouldn't believe everything it says. The things we tell ourselves are shaped by past experiences, current fears, and future worries and the stress we carry can make these inner voices very unreliable. So how do we start believing a better story about ourselves? While our inner narrative can sometimes be encouraging, it is more often negative and self-sabotaging. It combines a series of conscious thoughts, unconscious beliefs, and personal fears into a dialogue that keeps us stuck in unproductive patterns. Cindy advises awareness as the first step in combating these negative inner thoughts. Becoming aware of our thoughts allows us to replace some of them with more positive ones consciously.Cindy discusses four strategies to help us become more aware of our thoughts in order to kick the unhelpful self-talk out of our heads: 1) Monitor our thoughts, 2) Notice patterns and identify self-sabotaging behaviour, 3) Challenge our inner critic, and 4) Replace negative thoughts with empowering beliefs. As she delves into each point, she offers insight into how the limiting narrative forms and why it's so important to disrupt it so we can live our fullest lives.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Imagining a Better StoryAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    140 - See What You're Made Of

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2024 16:33


    Cindy Esliger explores the idea of putting ourselves to the test and stepping outside our comfort zones in this episode. There's an allure to sticking to what we're good at but if we only do what we're good at, we don't get challenged. When we accept a challenge, we trust ourselves more and build greater self-confidence. But how do we take those first steps? When we master something, we feel good about ourselves because it's safe and we have a niche. But eventually, it feels like autopilot. The thing about comfort zones is that they feel like we're progressing in what we're already good at but in reality, we're just spinning our wheels. What if there's something else we should be doing or could be good at? Cindy talks about what happens when we take a risk and try something new. Something unfamiliar.Cindy describes what it looks like to push ourselves and the potential successes and personal gains we could realize. But she also acknowledges the societal and workplace barriers that contribute to our self-doubt. Four big barriers come to mind: 1. Imposter syndrome, 2. Double standards, 3. Perfectionism, and 4. The glass ceiling. So how do we overcome these barriers to take a chance to develop our skills in a new area? Cindy talks about exactly how to confront self-doubt and barriers to see what we're actually made of. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Boosting Your ConfidenceAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    139 - Time to Reinvent Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2024 21:46


    Cindy Esliger talks about reinvention and asks the question “What if who we are not isn't who we need to be to achieve our dreams?”. Reinvention may be more a necessity than a possibility when we consider that in a changing world, we need to continue growing, thriving, and finding fulfillment. But exactly how do we do that? Cindy shares her guide to reinventing yourself with us. Reinvention challenges us to step beyond the boundaries of our old selves and explore the potential that lies beyond our comfort zones. When we find ourselves in a state of dissatisfaction or desperation with our careers, getting out of the stagnation sometimes requires that we embrace change despite how scary it feels. Reinvention is a process we should embrace and Cindy details exactly why it's the key to advancement.Cindy outlines the three key phases of reinventing ourselves: 1) Laying the foundation where we recognize where we're starting from, 2) Creating the plan where we take dreams and identify the gaps in our knowledge, and 3) Putting the plan into action. She explores exactly how to lay the right foundation to support reinvention and how to commit to stepping outside our comfort zones. Her advice on how to not backslide into our old identities includes 1) Staying vigilant, 2) Surrounding ourselves with support, and 3) Celebrating our progress. This is an essential episode for learning what reinvention requires so we can finally achieve our dreams.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Reinventing YouAstronomic AudioConfidence CollectiveEpisode 35: Job Crafting—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    138 - Showing True Strength (Not Just Acting Tough)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2024 20:33


    Cindy Esliger explores the difference between acting tough and demonstrating strength. They're not the same thing, though women in male-dominated fields often put up a facade of invincibility in an attempt to appear strong. True strength is in our ability to confront challenges and make decisions that align with our values. Cindy breaks down exactly what a tough exterior prevents that true strength cultivates. Showing off mental toughness with a gritty exterior and emotions in check is not strength, it's just an exhausting show that ultimately wears us down and keeps us anxious and in check for fear of seeming weak. True strength lies in recognizing struggles and admitting them, at least to ourselves, and in cultivating the ability to be honest. Cindy counters the tough exterior messages we get from the world at large with detailed examples of what real strength actually looks like. When we show true strength, we are prioritizing our well-being and following things that align with our values and passions. The tough act does not allow us to change direction or admit burnout which is why it ultimately leads to unsustainable demands. Cindy understands how we've been conditioned but she explains exactly how true strength flies in the face of this societally expected toughness. Strength is in knowing when to ask for help, finding balance, and embracing the growth that comes only from our imperfections.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Demonstrating Your Strength of CharacterAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    137 - Change is Hard

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2024 16:53


    Cindy Esliger addresses change in this episode. Change is necessary to alter our career trajectories and meet our goals. But change also demands more than just ambition: it requires intention, perseverance, and the non-linear reality of doing things differently. It also requires facing things like systemic challenges and internal obstacles. Cindy offers guidance through the difficult, messy, and powerful subject of change.One of the important points Cindy stresses is that change isn't something that happens to us, it's something we must actively pursue. It's more than simply moving from point A to point B, it's about taking control of our career and steering it ourselves. To help illustrate how to make significant life changes, Cindy explores the Stages of Change model developed in the early 1980s as a tool to describe behavioural change for addiction. It names the six stages of change as pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and relapse, which Cindy unpacks.Making a lasting change often feels like being in a labyrinth without a clear view of the exit. We will hit dead ends, take wrong turns, and sometimes find ourselves back where we started. However, none of those setbacks mean we're on the wrong path. It's just that setbacks are part of the process of change. Cindy shares four strategies for navigating change, how to accept that the decision to change will require sustained and flexible effort, and why it will be worthwhile in the end. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Embracing the Power of ChangeAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    136 - What's Your Favorite Excuse

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2024 18:58


    Cindy Esliger talks about conquering the voice in our head that tells us we're not ready for the career spotlight or big goal we've been working towards. Those excuses, while comforting in the short term, ultimately just hold us back from reaching our potential. But how do we confront those fears and step out of our comfort zones to claim the career success we know we actually deserve? That's what Cindy will guide us through today.There are a lot of reasons we have for not achieving our career ambitions at the moment. The excuses are plentiful and there's always something we can point to that's keeping us static. But the truth is that those excuses are what we use to protect us from the potential judgment or failure that stepping out on a limb may bring. Cindy knows we're ready for the career spotlight and it's time for us to take action to reach it. Time to meet the challenge and do something a little bit uncomfortable.Cindy lists the four most common excuses for avoiding growth: 1) Comfort in familiarity, 2) Fear of rejection and failure, 3) The need for external validation, and 4) Waiting for the perfect moment. She then details three tips to help us break free from these excuses: 1) Do a self-assessment, 2) Take the first step, and 3) Make it about others. She elaborates on each step with sound advice. Our dreams are valid and we have every right to pursue them. Cindy wants to guide us into stepping up to achieve them instead of holding back out of fear.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Eliminating Your ExcusesAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    135 - Skepticism or Curiosity

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 19:55


    Cindy Esliger talks about the transformative power of vulnerability that we often find difficult to embrace in this episode. Our natural instinct in the workplace is to keep our guard up, to protect ourselves from judgment and criticism. But vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it's a key to growth and connection. Cindy outlines how to start seeing vulnerability in a different light so we can unlock that growth in our careers. It's understandable that in a world seemingly thriving on jumping on exploiting our missteps we'd be guarded and protect our self-worth. But paradoxically the natural reaction of being wary and guarded to make ourselves feel secure is the same thing holding us back in our efforts to protect ourselves from judgment. Vulnerability builds trust. And trust is the key to a workplace where everyone can contribute and grow together. Cindy describes just how vulnerability can unlock our greatest potential with advice on how to be vulnerable with awareness.  Guardedness is skepticism. The skeptic in our lives may convince us to stay home Friday night to avoid anything bad happening. And sure, we're safe, but we also don't get to do anything. We don't have any adventure. Curiosity, on the other hand, isn't about reckless abandonment but rather opening our minds to exploration and seeing questions as opportunities. Curiosity lends to vulnerability and is a great asset in the workplace. Cindy unpacks all the ways in which being too protective limits us and shares four tips for embracing vulnerability in our professional lives. Her guidance will help us become more open to the growth potential around us.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Embracing VulnerabilityAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    134 - Be Selective With Whom You Associate

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2024 18:10


    Cindy Esliger explores the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people. The right relationships can fuel growth, support, and challenge you to reach new heights, while the wrong ones may hinder your progress. Being selective in professional relationships requires choosing quality over quantity. Cindy encourages listeners to consider who they allow into their inner circle. She encourages finding trusted truth-tellers who offer honest feedback and alternative perspectives. She also highlights the importance of finding those people who share a growth mindset and are invested in your success.While the topic of ending relationships can bring up anxiety and fear, Cindy examines the positive impact of distancing yourself from problematic people. This doesn't mean throwing aside commitments or cutting people out cold turkey. Instead, thoughtfully pruning relationships that no longer serve a purpose can break the cycle of having them drain your energy or stagnate your growth. Cindy also warns against the lingering influence of negative voices from the past, advocating for discernment when it comes to whose advice you follow. Ultimately, Cindy advises being mindful of the people you allow into your life, ensuring they inspire growth and align with your personal and professional goals. Resources discussed in this episode:Building your inner circleAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    133 - Have the Difficult Conversation

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2024 21:51


    Cindy Esliger addresses difficult conversations in this episode: those dreaded conversations that involve challenging subjects or conflicts that need resolving. We would often prefer to avoid them but they're necessary for preventing larger difficulties and problems down the road. Hard discussions are a part of growth and resolution and can't be avoided forever. So learning to navigate difficult conversations like a pro is the easiest way to deal with their inevitability.  Avoiding difficult conversations will only make the issue worse in the future and addressing things early can prevent a much larger blow-up later. But broaching the subject is tough. We're often afraid to address the problem and initiate the hard talk out of fear that we may make things worse. Cindy shares five tips for approaching these situations without making them worse: 1) define the problem, 2) identify what is wanted before starting the conversation, 3) decide how to address it, 4) stick to the facts and feelings, and 5) use the power of validation. Cindy explains that while not every problem has a solution, addressing the tension is still important. She advises asking ourselves “Do we need to solve this problem or do we need to solve how we feel about this problem?”. Shifting perspective from finding a resolution to managing emotions and reactions to the problem can sometimes be more productive. Regardless of solutions, starting a difficult conversation is the most courageous thing we can do and will put us on a path towards fixing certain issues and forging stronger relationships. Cindy is here to shine a light on exactly how to navigate this rocky terrain.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Finding the Courage to Address Any IssueAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    132 - Work to Close the Gap

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2024 16:23


    Cindy Esliger discusses closing the gap between where we are in our careers and where we want to be in this episode. She looks into using the discontent we can feel in our careers, sometimes unsettling and distracting, as a catalyst for advancement. Harnessing our professional discontent requires a careful strategy so we can use it to strive for a higher standard of excellence. Cindy breaks down exactly what is needed to channel it properly and guides us through how to bridge the gap we see.It may be surprising to learn that the discomfort we feel when looking at the gap between where we are and where we want to be is natural. It's actually necessary to keep us striving for excellence. But Cindy cautions that there is a balance between unhealthy anxiety and healthy discontent. She urges us to challenge the traditional narratives of success and define what is important to us. Setting a deliberate pace to cross the gap will change the trajectory of our careers more than a grand gesture. And there are three main types of gaps to close: 1) the effort gap, 2) the skill gap, and 3) the quality gap.Cindy explains what it takes to close each gap and what to expect in terms of overcoming complacency and feeling discomfort. Finding balance and making strategic choices is key. We will hit obstacles as we move towards our goals and sometimes will feel stuck. When we are, Cindy unpacks five strategies for getting unstuck: 1) divide and conquer, 2) set micro-goals, 3) seek feedback, 4) focus on learning, not failure, and 5) assess progress. Join Cindy as she sets out a plan for how to bridge the gap on our career paths to success. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Propelling Yourself ForwardAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    131 - The Arrival Fallacy

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2024 16:42


    Cindy Esliger addresses the arrival fallacy in this episode. That belief that once we reach a certain milestone in our careers everything will fall into place, as if by magic, and we will arrive in perpetual happiness. We will have “made it” into the mythological destination where we enter reward and leave the struggle. This fallacy doesn't actually work because rewards, experiences, professional growth, and fulfillment only occur as part of the journey, not as an arrival bonus. Cindy breaks down how to see the journey as fulfilling and abandon our obsession with instant gratification. When we are only focused on the destination, the goal, and the end result, we tend to miss the transformative work in between. We tune out more, we rush things, we don't want to learn. We simply want to arrive and be recognized. Cindy describes how to view the process of working as a reward in itself because of how it enriches our lives. She explains why going through the trials and grind of daily work to learn and flourish is ultimately better for our careers than immediate reward.  It's difficult to shift out of the finish line mindset, so Cindy has three tips to make shifting into enjoying continual improvement easier: 1) Set process goals, 2) Celebrate the wins and learn from the losses, and 3) Reflect regularly. Cindy wants us to recognize that satisfaction in our career journey is kind of the point of our work. Fixating solely on the destination means we are never living in the now and are not learning how to grow beyond expectations. Join Cindy as she breaks down exactly why the arrival fallacy is exactly that, a fallacy.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Reshaping Your Career OutlookAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    130 - Life is Messy

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2024 16:31


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the messiness of life and how what appears to be a series of obstacles is an integral part of our career journey. Navigating life's messiness isn't just about bouncing back but about embracing the new opportunities the experience may offer. It's our reaction to the chaos that matters and Cindy is here to guide us on how to embrace the unexpected.Rolling with life's punches and working through life's chaos can feel like a disheartening setback. But resilience is connected to confidence, so when we endure, our confidence grows when we realize we can survive whatever happens. Confidence is vital for career survival and Cindy has three strategies for maintaining confidence in the workplace: 1. Know our stuff, 2. Celebrate the wins, and 3. Speak up in meetings. Confidence and resilience are interconnected and we'll need both to succeed.  It can still be difficult to embrace life's messiness, however, and Cindy understands the struggle. Telling ourselves to enjoy the ride even if the journey is chaotic is one thing, but actually doing that is another. So Cindy offers three strategies for embracing the possibilities within the mess: 1. Look for opportunities in the unexpected, 2. Make flexibility our new best friend, and 3. Embrace the learning even when it's tough. Cindy unpacks her strategies and lays out a solid plan for surviving and thriving through life's messes, guidance useful no matter what stage of career we're in.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Embracing the MessinessAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    129 - It Might Be Obvious To You

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2024 15:00


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the stroke of brilliance ideas we sometimes have that we dismiss because it's something that came too easily to us. Our sudden insights that we feel are too obvious to be of real value. It's that self-discounting tendency that Cindy examines in detail because the truth is that what comes easily to us can be a genius revelation to someone else. We don't all share the same skills. So what we think is simple may be a monumental insight to another person. Cindy wants us to start sharing those ideas instead of dismissing them.Part of the complexity of human cognition is this belief that what seems effortless to us is of no value to anyone else. We fail to recognize that things we find obvious and easy may in fact be groundbreaking and valuable to someone else. Because we are all born out of different environments and experiences that shape us into being adept with some things and not others. We're all different. So how do we overcome the paradox of thinking things that are easy to us are useless? Cindy says 1. Acknowledge that what's obvious to us is not obvious to everyone, 2. Cultivate an environment that encourages the sharing of ideas, and 3. Challenge the desire for complexity. Not everything valuable must be challenging. And not everything we innately understand is obvious to everyone else. Cindy urges us to start sharing those simple ideas to further our careers and our representations of our unique qualities. What we need is to learn how to communicate effectively so our ideas are received well. So Cindy unpacks how to speak up, why complacency is a dream killer, how making a mark involves breaking away from the status quo, and why our unique insights have immense power. This episode is our guide to learning not to stifle our individual gifts.  Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Recognizing Your Obvious BrillianceAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    128 - Your Work Shapes You

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2024 15:49


    Cindy Esliger examines the trifecta of our work, our identity, and our self-awareness, breaking down where they complement each other and where we should define boundaries. Self-awareness allows us to distinguish between who we are and what we do. The value of our work is different from our worth as a human being. The distinctions between our professional and personal identity require a deep dive into self-awareness, a journey Cindy is here to guide us through. Part of self-awareness is understanding ourselves on a deeper level, and one of the great influences on our journey is how we respond to stress. Cindy asks four questions to help us gauge our stress response: 1. When things get tough, do we step up or step back, 2. How do we handle criticism, 3. Do we reach out or shut down when the going gets tough, 4. What's our conflict style? She then offers four strategies to help us manage those knee-jerk stress reactions. With introspection of this type, we raise our self-awareness. That, in turn, allows us to define exactly who we are. It shapes our knowledge of our personal identity. Understanding who we are can then reflect positively on our professional identities, creating more opportunities for challenge and growth. Cindy highlights that our developed personal identity prevents us from over-identifying with our work. If we allow work to define who we are, we put our self-worth in the hands of a business decision or a boss. Cindy guides us through the perils of allowing work to become our identity and offers keen insight to aid us in self-awareness in this episode.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Your Work and Your IdentityAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    127 - Discernment Versus Judgment

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2024 11:46


    Cindy Esliger addresses the inevitability of workplace conflict by differentiating between using discernment over judgment to navigate the tension. Since workplaces are comprised of people and people each have their own struggles and lives going on unseen, tension is inevitable. Not taking things personally and approaching conflict with a desire to listen and get to the core issue are some of the strategies Cindy encourages us to adopt. As strange as it may seem to the conflict-avoidant, challenges aren't just inevitable, they're necessary. Challenges drive us to push the envelope, innovate, and keep the office interesting. It's how we go about disagreeing with each other that needs attention, not the fact that we do disagree. Cindy offers advice on how to step back from reacting personally to things that simply aren't personal and instructs us on how to approach healthy conflict that seeks true resolution. Leadership requires dealing with storms head-on. Tension must be acknowledged and the root cause must be unearthed so the tension can ultimately become a tool for growth. Leaders must learn how to address issues rather than letting them fester but also how to work for truth in resolution rather than rush to smooth things over with false comfort. Cindy guides us through learning discernment in conflict and holding back judgment until we can truly understand what a conflict is about. Her advice makes conflict less of a terrifying notion and more of an opportunity to learn. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Reckoning With TensionAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    126 - Create Your Own Through Line

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2024 17:58


    In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how to break free of mediocrity and create a personal through line of success in our careers. Settling for good enough is the easy choice but it won't lead to the career we dream of. We need to craft that career by defining our goals and taking risks. Cindy examines how to move past adequate into extraordinary in our journey. We can feel like a cog in the machine at times, just checking off boxes and tasks to embrace the illusion of progress. But if we don't understand where we personally want to go in our careers, this mediocrity cycle feeds itself through increased demands and our inability to imagine doing more than the bare minimum. Cindy urges us to push past our comfort zones to understand our mission and shares insight on how to define what we truly want to start working towards that goal. The path to success is not a straight linear line or a single corporate ladder. Cindy points out that it involves zigzags, meanderings, and bold choices that may not seem connected to a goal but that we know are right for us in the moment. She offers three questions to ask ourselves to determine our next career steps: 1. What are we genuinely interested in? 2. What unique skills do we possess that are in demand? and 3. What emerging opportunities or trends excite us? With Cindy's guidance in this episode, we may find a way to shake ourselves off a mediocre path to embrace a new through line.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Not Settling for AdequateAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    125 - Is Your Fear Keeping You Safe

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2024 17:09


    Cindy Esliger explores the fear surrounding taking risks in our careers in this episode. Our perception of risk is deeply personal, informed by our experiences, biases, and the professional landscapes we navigate. Since our perceptions of risks are colored by our self-confidence, how do we assess the actual risk? And what is the right amount of risk to take? Assessing and moving past the fear of risk in all its variations is what Cindy unpacks today.  When we're new to a situation, a career or a job, we tend to be more willing to take risks due to an overabundance of confidence. With experience comes the knowledge of consequences and memories of times when risk-taking pushed us backwards instead of propelling us forward into success. Our self-confidence takes a hit and we become more risk-averse. Cindy explains that the key is not to avoid risk but to learn how to assess it properly, gather as much information as possible, and understand the risk we're facing as well as the gains it could deliver. Cindy shares three tips to boost our confidence and help us get comfortable with taking a bit of a risk. 1) Become informed before leaping, 2) Make a few small bets on ourselves, and 3) Cultivate a growth mindset. She illustrates the value of sharing the knowledge gained from risks taken with those coming behind us, becoming a source of information for those facing similar situations. She reminds us that each of us has an individual threshold for risk that we need to both understand and challenge as we grow. There is a way to face the fear of risk not by shying away but by informing ourselves and preparing for the best approach to the risk.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Balancing Risk and RewardAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    124 - Notice Then Appreciate

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2024 15:45


    Cindy Esliger addresses changing our negative mindset about work to one of appreciating small victories and noting positive experiences. We're often pushed hard in the daily grind and aren't encouraged to stop and note what's going right. When we focus only on the negative, we lose sight of how far we've come and what possibilities exist in the future. Cindy has advice on how to change our mindset to one of appreciation.  This isn't advice to slap superficial cheerfulness or false positivity on top of things, rather Cindy is encouraging us to take the time to notice every small thing that goes right. She notes the difference between gratitude and appreciation to demonstrate the foundational quality of appreciation. We tend to skip over positives in favor of highlighting errors in ourselves and each other which makes us feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Noting and appreciating things gives us space to celebrate achievements and feel valuable which in turn leads to more job satisfaction and openness to accept new challenges.Cindy shares four tips on how to take notice of and appreciate something positive today. 1. Start the day with a positive inventory, 2. Pause any interaction or accomplishment, 3. Create a brag folder for compliments, and 4. End the day on a high note. Cindy explains why these tips are beneficial and what outcomes they can lead to. We need to understand that starting to appreciate things in ourselves and others is like a pebble in a pond: the ripples extend far beyond us and improve everyone's experience. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Appreciating the GoodAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    123 - Is It Time to Call It Quits

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2024 16:29


    Cindy Esliger talks about making a major career change in this episode. When do we decide to change course in our career path, quit our job, or move to a new endeavour? How do we know if it's the right choice? Cindy examines what to evaluate when making career direction decisions, from how to gauge our current job satisfaction to what aligns best with our values and future career goals. The desire to alter our current job situation is one that requires careful consideration. Sometimes the choice is between staying or jumping ship, but before we make such an enormous choice, have we really evaluated our current job satisfaction level? What if there were other things we could change to improve our current job and align it more directly with our overall career ambitions? Cindy asks us to consider small-scale changes to improve things in the present. She offers three steps for evaluating what changes to make. If a complete job change is what is needed, oftentimes it's fear that holds us back from making the choice. Fear of quitting, of losing the time already invested. Cindy explains how to navigate that fear and how to prepare for the extra work that creating new opportunities brings. Ultimately, the decision to stay put, implement smaller changes, or leave for a new job altogether should be made out of a position of strength, not desperation. Cindy's advice lays out all the reasoning to work through to make an informed and empowered decision.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Considering A Bold StepAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    122 - Boundaries, Not More Self-Care

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2024 19:18


    Cindy Esliger addresses the self-care craze that has become less about caring for ourselves and more of a quick-fix industry. She explores setting healthy boundaries to reclaim our power and encourage us to manage life's stresses. Self-care is important but it means more than a scented candle or something we can buy. Part of self-care is doing internal work to determine what we want and need, and what limits we have to set. The rage and frustration we can feel while pushing back against an oppressive or toxic work culture while balancing too many stressors is what leads to burnout. An externally applied fix, something we buy or a ritual we perform, may make us feel slightly better in the short term but does nothing to protect us from future harm or continued stressors. Cindy's definition of self-care is a process, not a product. It involves setting limits and prioritizing personal well-being over productivity.As Cindy points out, true self-care is not always comfortable. It can be challenging and messy as we work through emotional upheaval to change our life situations in order to thrive. She offers insight from her own experiences with change, boundaries, and reclaiming our power as a survival skill. What she shares explores how boundaries safeguard mental and emotional health and lead to long-term shifts that bolster self-care and create sustainable relationships in the future. Boundaries aren't as easy as a bubble bath but they're much longer lasting in their effects.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Reclaiming Your PowerAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    121 - Strong, Calm and Kind

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2024 18:00


    Cindy Esliger explores the necessity of emotional intelligence in leadership, delving into why responding to challenges with calm and kindness promotes a healthy work environment. It also paves the way for both leader and team to achieve more sustainable success and growth. But how do we learn to avoid volatility in the face of struggle and what strategies promote quiet strength? Working our way up the corporate ladder isn't just a series of milestones but a transformative experience that shapes us both professionally and personally. With that growth, it's inevitable to experience both trepidation and excitement as horizons broaden. Uncertainty and self-doubt can take hold. It's in learning to battle this imposter syndrome and seek assistance that we discover how to treat ourselves with grace and extend calm and kindness outward. How to lead not with emotional turmoil but a steady hand.  Cindy discusses all the ways in which grappling with ourselves is necessary in order to advance and also lead effectively. She notes that we aren't born being strong, calm and kind but that we learn through experience and practice how to cultivate those traits. She lays out six strategies for harnessing inner strength: 1. Confront imposter syndrome, 2. Cultivate inner confidence, 3. Manage emotions, 4. Let go of baggage, 5. Take responsibility, and 6. Replace fear with learning. As she unpacks each step, she imparts a clear path forward through emotional resilience instead of volatility. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Being Strong, Calm and KindAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    120 - Be Someone Worth Listening To

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2024 16:56


    Cindy Esliger talks about the art of communication in today's episode. If people aren't listening when we speak, it's time for a self-assessment. How are we presenting ourselves? Speaking isn't just saying something, it's about presenting a message in a manner that engages the audience. So if we aren't being listened to, are we the problem? And if so, how do we become a compelling speaker?The first step in getting others to listen to us is believing what we're saying. If we don't believe our own message, how can we expect others to? People are drawn to confidence and clarity, both of which are signs that the speaker knows what they're offering. Having confidence in our message is vital so Cindy offers four tips for helping us communicate confidently: 1. Know the topic, 2. Practice, 3. Anticipate questions, and 4. Visualize success.The art of effective communication requires preparation, identifying a main message to build supporting points around, and then understanding how to present it engagingly. The tone of voice, body language, and clear speech, all of these factors combine to help draw audiences into what is being said. Cindy notes that “effective communication is not just about what you say, but how you say it” but acknowledges that it takes practice. She shares five tips for conveying confidence through body language and solid advice on how to demonstrate authenticity, connect with an audience, and prepare the message being conveyed.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Improving Your Communication StyleAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    119 - Generosity Versus Manipulation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2024 16:13


    Cindy Esliger examines how the scarcity mindset, which seems prudent to adopt in today's competitive market, can negatively impact our worldview. Adopting a mindset of generosity instead paves the way for more fulfilling relationships and potentially a more successful career trajectory. But sincere generosity is different from the self-serving kind that seeks to manipulate with kind gestures. How are they different? How can we shift our thinking to generosity while avoiding manipulation? The scarcity mindset operates from a place of believing there isn't enough to go around and sparks fear of losing what we have. It can lead to excessive caution and to a competitive environment where our success must be at the expense of others. Generosity, however, doesn't simply mean financial giving but encompasses sharing knowledge, time, and expertise. It views resources as expansive, rather than finite. Manipulation lies in bending this generosity into one defined by its intent, such as exploiting another's weakness.  How can we integrate encouragement, a type of generosity, into our everyday lives? Cindy has three ways: 1. Be specific, 2. Recognize effort, not just achievement, and 3. Encourage peer recognition. Celebrating the success of others can not only enhance a career but enrich emotional well-being. Cindy explains the many ways generosity can be expressed without manipulation or self-interest and breaks down why generosity is so important in succeeding both personally and professionally.   Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Unlocking Your PotentialAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    118 - Assume the Best

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 17:51


    Cindy Esliger talks about the detrimental effect of rising stress levels and changing workplace priorities on our interactions with others. In these days where stress is an inevitable part of our daily lives, it's more important than ever to maintain positive relationships with colleagues. Our stress affects our patience, making us assume the worst of those we work with when we need to learn how to assume the best. Juggling multiple tasks, looming deadlines, and the demand for high-performance standards all increase our stress levels while simultaneously wearing our patience thin and causing us to misinterpret simple things like a missed email or misunderstood directive. We assume that the other person is ignoring us, or worse, attacking us in some way. We never stop to consider that they may simply be as stressed and busy as we are and that the missed email was a simple mistake. Assuming the worst leads us to say things we regret and erodes the important trust we need to maintain with our colleagues.How can we break the cycle of negativity? We need to strive to assume the best of each other. Cindy shares five practical steps designed to aid us in assuming positive intent: 1) Pause and reflect, 2) Communicate openly instead of jumping to conclusions, 3) Practice empathy, 4) Focus on solutions, not blame, and 5) Celebrate contributions. In this episode, Cindy breaks down the steps in detail and instructs us on how to handle difficult managers and personalities, control our emotions, and look at things objectively. Her advice paves the way for assuming the best, not the worst, from those we work with. Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Assuming the BestAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

    Claim Stop Sabotaging Your Success

    In order to claim this podcast we'll send an email to with a verification link. Simply click the link and you will be able to edit tags, request a refresh, and other features to take control of your podcast page!

    Claim Cancel