Love and Leadership

You've probably heard "leadership versus management" debates many times, but Kristen and Mike break it down in a way that actually makes sense. This isn't about which one is better - spoiler alert: you need both. Instead, they explore how these distinct skill sets work together and why understanding the difference can transform your career. From Confucius to Navy SEALs, they share practical insights on when to lead people versus manage systems, common myths that trip up even experienced professionals, and why the best leaders toggle between both modes throughout their day. If you've ever wondered whether you're managing when you should be leading (or vice versa), this episode will give you the clarity to know which hat to wear when.Highlights:The Core Distinction: Leadership = vision and inspiration ("why" and "what"). Management = operations and execution ("how")Kotter's Framework: Leadership establishes direction, aligns people, motivates. Management plans/budgets, organizes/staffs, controls/problem-solvesWhy Both Matter: Successful leaders toggle between both modes throughout their dayLeadership can be learned through study and practice - you're not born with itCommon Myths Debunked: Leadership isn't higher status than management, you can lead from any role, both require ongoing developmentThe Coaching Approach: Keeps you focused on vision and mentorship while avoiding micromanagementManaging Systems, Leading People: Manage processes, lead and inspire the people within themContinuous Growth: Leadership development is lifelong, requiring constant learning and self-reflectionLinks & Resources Mentioned:Start With Why by Simon SinekGood to Great by Jim CollinsTurn the Ship Around by Captain L. David MarquetThe Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay StanierExtreme Ownership by Jocko WillinkUnreasonable Hospitality by Will GuidaraPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike kick off their new Buzzword Breakdown series by tackling psychological safety, a term often referenced in leadership discussions without clear explanation. Created by Harvard professor Amy Edmondson, psychological safety is the belief that you won't be punished for speaking up with ideas, questions, or concerns. Research shows it's the #1 predictor of high-performing teams - more important than who's on the team. Despite its importance, many misconceptions exist around what psychological safety actually means and how to create it. Whether you lead a team or are part of one, understanding this concept can transform your workplace relationships and help everyone do their best work.Highlights:Introduction of the new Buzzword Breakdown series formatAmy Edmondson coined "psychological safety" in 1999 while researching hospital teamsPsychological safety is a team concept that predicts high performance (Google's Project Aristotle)Myth: It's about being nice (Reality: It's about candor with respect)Myth: You can declare a space "safe" (Reality: Actions create it)Myth: It's a luxury (Reality: It's essential for effective teams)Signs of low safety: silence in meetings, blame culture, fear of failureSigns of high safety: challenging ideas without fear, open discussion of mistakesLeaders create it through: admitting uncertainty, sharing lessons from mistakes, thanking people for speaking upLinks & Resources Mentioned:The Fearless Organization by Amy EdmondsonAmy Edmondson on LinkedInHBR: What Is Psychological Safety?HBR: What People Get Wrong About Psychological SafetyMcKinsey: What is Psychological Safety?Previous Love and Leadership episodes:#37 Workplace Buzzwords #31 Motivating Employees#38 How to Win Friends and Influence People#17 Interview with Rebecca YangPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

We originally aired this episode in October prior to the election, and are sharing it again today because we find it more relevant than ever! Leaders today face a unique challenge: supporting their teams' mental wellness during a very high-stress period. In this episode, Kristen and Mike explore this timely topic with licensed therapist Megan Romano. They discuss how leaders can navigate the emotional minefield of turbulent political times, from recognizing their own triggers to creating a psychologically safe environment for their teams. Megan shares practical techniques for emotional regulation and emphasizes the importance of leaders modeling vulnerability and self-care. This episode offers invaluable insights on how to lead with empathy and resilience during turbulent times.About Megan:Megan Romano (M.S., LMFT) is a New York-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in trauma therapy. With extensive experience in inpatient rehabilitation and online therapy, she has treated clients globally and trained therapists in various settings. She is certified in treating disruptive behavioral disorders, crisis intervention, and trauma-focused cognitive behavioral disorders. She provides therapy for individuals, families, and couples, addressing a wide range of challenges. She has received "The Best of Brooklyn Award for Counseling and Mental Health" for nine consecutive years. She is also the founder of Human Nation™, a mental health resource, and the inventor of a patent-pending trauma intervention that is 100% effective and substance-free.Highlights:The importance of leaders recognizing and regulating their own emotions before addressing their team's concerns.Techniques for emotional regulation, including breathing exercises and identifying physical signs of stress.The value of taking timeouts during tense meetings to allow for emotional processing.The role of vulnerability in leadership and how it can foster trust and psychological safety.The concept of "tend and befriend" as a positive stress response in the workplace.The importance of authentic check-ins with employees and listening to learn rather than to respond.Tips for finding the right therapist and normalizing mental health care in the workplace.The benefits of proactive therapy for leaders, even without a specific crisis or diagnosis.Links and Resources Mentioned:Human Nation™ websiteMegan Romano TherapyMegan's LinkedIn profilePsychology Today ZocdocAmerican Association for Marriage and Family TherapyAmerican Academy of Experts in Traumatic StressPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike dive into Dale Carnegie's classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People" - a book that's approaching its 90th anniversary yet remains powerfully relevant. Mike reveals he's read (or rather, listened to) the book nearly 10 times, often before starting new jobs to ground himself in core leadership principles. The couple explores why this 1936 bestseller has sold over 30 million copies and continues to influence modern leadership thinking. Unlike most leadership books, Carnegie's approach focuses on genuine human connection rather than strategy or tactics. As you listen, you'll discover timeless principles that can transform not just your leadership approach, but all your relationships through small yet powerful changes in how you interact with others.Highlights:Carnegie's core message: Leadership is about making people want to do things, not forcing themPrinciple 1: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain - criticism puts people on defensivePrinciple 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation - not flatteryPrinciple 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want - talk about what they wantThe book emphasizes remembering names as "the sweetest sound" to any personGood listening is highlighted as more important than talking for effective communication"The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it" - a principle both hosts struggle withMike shares examples of seeing these principles successfully applied in hospitality leadershipCarnegie's focus on understanding others' perspectives aligns with the improv principles Kristen teachesLinks & Resources Mentioned:How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale CarnegieHow to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin It's Your Ship by Michael Abrashoff The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier How to Say It for Women by Phyllis Mindell Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike get into the fascinating world of workplace buzzwords that are trending in 2025. From "anti-perks" to "coffee badging," these terms reveal a lot about our current work culture and employee-employer relationships. The couple unpacks these buzzwords with their characteristic humor and practical insight, examining what each trend reveals about the evolving workplace. Whether you're dealing with "quiet hiring" at your organization or considering a "lazy girl job" for better work-life balance, this episode offers a revealing look at the language shaping our professional lives and what it means for leaders at all levels.Highlights:"Anti-perks": Workplace policies framed as benefits that actually negatively impact employees"Bare minimum Mondays": Employees intentionally reducing workload on Mondays to combat burnout"Coffee badging": Briefly appearing at the office to satisfy return-to-office mandates before heading home"Conscious quitting": Employees leaving companies whose values don't align with their personal ethics"Quittok": The trend of posting or livestreaming resignations on TikTok"Employee Experience (EX)": The physical, digital, and cultural elements affecting how employees feel about work"Ghost jobs": Fake job listings companies post without actually intending to hire"Industry hopping": Professionals moving between different sectors throughout their careers"Job cuffing": Increasing engagement during uncertain times to avoid layoffs"Lazy girl jobs": Roles prioritizing work-life balance over career advancementLinks & Resources Mentioned:AIHR Article: 27 Trending HR Buzzwords You Need to KnowHow to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie"Take This Job and Shove It" by Johnny PaycheckPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike sit down with Andrea Fleischfresser, an executive coach with over 20 years of experience in HR and coaching. Andrea shares her journey from working in Italy to building her coaching practice in the US, where she discovered that cultural backgrounds significantly influence leadership styles and workplace dynamics. Through her work with clients from diverse cultures, Andrea has observed how deeply ingrained cultural norms affect everything from communication styles to feedback delivery and meeting participation. She explains why some leaders struggle when relocating to different countries - not because they lack skills, but because leadership expectations vary dramatically across cultures. Whether you're managing a global team or working with colleagues from different backgrounds, this conversation offers practical insights to help navigate cultural differences and become a more effective leader.Highlights:Andrea's international experience in Italy shaped her understanding of cross-cultural leadership challengesCultural backgrounds influence workplace behaviors even for second or third-generation immigrantsAmerican workplace culture values individualism and task orientation, while other cultures prioritize relationships and collective decision-makingAmericans use "low context" communication (direct), while many Asian, South American and Southern European cultures use "high context" communication (indirect)What looks like disengagement to an American might be respectful listening in another cultureHistorical contexts (agrarian vs. hunter-gatherer societies) may have influenced Eastern and Western cultural valuesIn relationship-based cultures, trust comes from personal connection; in American culture, trust is built on reliabilityFeedback styles vary widely - some cultures are very direct, while Americans often use the "sandwich" approachLeaders should ask team members "How can I best support you?" rather than applying one-size-fits-all approachesUnderstanding your own cultural biases is essential for effective cross-cultural leadershipAbout Andrea:Andrea Fleischfresser, MCC is an Executive & Leadership Coach and Corporate Facilitator with 20 years of experience in HR and Coaching. She specializes in helping leaders maximize their strengths, improve team performance, and achieve goals through increased trust, cohesion, and collaboration. With over two decades of international experience, Andrea offers a unique perspective on effective global leadership, shaped by her deep understanding of diverse cultural landscapes. She is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) recognized by the International Coaching Federation.Connect with Andrea:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreafleischfresserWebsite: https://www.destinationyoucoaching.comPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Is your team more afraid of sharing a bad idea or missing out on a great one? In this episode, Mike and Kristen dig into what truly makes a culture innovative - and it's probably not what you think. Most companies claim to value innovation, but few actually design their culture to support it. Through a framework Kristen calls the "Improvation Matrix," they explore how openness to new ideas and commitment to execution create the foundation for genuine innovation. Plus, Mike takes a delightful detour through the Museum of Failure (featuring gems like Colgate Lasagna and Limeade Oreos) to illustrate why embracing failure might be the most important element in fostering creativity. Whether your team is stuck in stagnation, drowning in noise, or trapped in rigid thinking, this episode offers practical strategies to shift your culture toward true innovation.Highlights:Kristen introduces the Improvation Matrix with two axes: openness to new ideas and level of commitmentTeams can exist in four states: Stagnation, Noise, Rigidity, or Innovation depending on their cultureThe "Yes, And" mindset from improv fosters divergent thinking and gives creative ideas room to breatheThe Museum of Failure showcases products like New Coke and Colgate Lasagna as examples of how even successful companies failThree levels of listening: listening to respond, listening to hear, and listening to understandThe Golden State Warriors' "Strength in Numbers" philosophy demonstrates how supporting teammates leads to successIncorporating play at work reduces stress, improves cognitive function, and enhances creativityLinks & Resources Mentioned:Museum of Failure Episode #7: 10 Ways Improv Makes You a Better LeaderGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In the second part of their deep dive into Will Guidara's Unreasonable Hospitality, Mike and Kristen explore the leadership lessons that transformed Eleven Madison Park into the world's best restaurant. From breaking traditional fine dining rules to creating moments of surprise and delight for guests, Guidara's approach proves that true hospitality extends beyond simply serving excellent food. His philosophy challenges leaders to build strong teams, empower staff through trust, and create authentic connections with those they serve. Whether you lead a team of two or two hundred, this episode reveals how small, thoughtful gestures—what Guidara calls "grace notes"—can turn ordinary service into extraordinary experiences that leave lasting impressions.Highlights: Breaking traditions: Prioritizing authentic guest connections over rigid fine dining rulesHiring for the "why": Finding people who genuinely care about hospitality over experienceTeam choreography: Using subtle hand signals for seamless service coordinationThe Miles Davis approach: Identifying 11 guiding principles after a critic's feedbackThe "important to me" card: Building partnership through respecting what matters deeply to othersEmpowering staff: Giving team members control of specialized programs before they're fully readyThe Dreamweaver role: Creating a position dedicated to personalizing guest experiencesGrace notes: Small gestures that create lasting impressions, like plating a NYC hot dog for touristsBalancing excellence and warmth: Finding harmony between perfect service and authenticityScaling culture: Maintaining core values while growing and trusting others to leadLinks & Resources Mentioned:Unreasonable Hospitality by Will GuidaraKitchen Confidential by Anthony BourdainDown and Out in Paris and London by George OrwellExtreme Ownership by Jocko WillinkHow to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale CarnegieGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In this first part of a two-part series, Mike and Kristen dive into Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. While it might not seem like a traditional leadership book at first glance, it's packed with lessons for anyone serving customers or managing teams. Mike brings a unique perspective to this discussion, having spent 17 years in the restaurant industry before transitioning to senior living. He shares personal insights about the intense world of restaurants, where excellence isn't just encouraged—it's demanded every single day. The conversation weaves through Guidara's journey from young food runner to co-owner of one of the world's most celebrated restaurants, revealing how exceptional service can transform not just businesses, but the lives of everyone they touch.Highlights:Service vs. hospitality: service is the technical side while hospitality is about making people feel cared for"Enlightened Hospitality" prioritizes employees over guests and investors"Grace notes" are small unexpected gestures that elevate the hospitality experienceLanguage creates culture through phrases like "constant gentle pressure" and "be the swan"The "Rule of 95/5": manage 95% of budget responsibly to allow 5% for "foolish spending" that enhances experiencesWill's 30-minute daily meetings transformed restaurant culture by creating consistency and celebrating winsLeaders should give more praise than criticism and address issues immediatelyDifferent approaches are needed for employees who are trying versus those who aren'tHospitality applies beyond restaurants—three-quarters of GDP comes from service industriesLinks & Resources Mentioned:Unreasonable Hospitality by Will GuidaraKitchen Confidential by Anthony BourdainJiro Dreams of Sushi (film)The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson The Bear (TV show)Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike talk with Shelli Brunswick, a leader in the space industry whose career spans from the US Air Force to her current role as CEO of SB Global LLC. Shelli shares how space technology impacts our everyday lives in ways we don't even realize—from the smartphone in your pocket to the blueberries in your breakfast. She explains how leadership lessons from the space industry, particularly around risk management and innovation, can help professionals in any field. If you've ever wondered what space exploration has to do with your career or how space technology affects your daily life, this conversation will open your eyes to connections you never imagined. As Shelli puts it, "The sky is not the limit. There are no limits."About Shelli:Shelli Brunswick, a distinguished leader in the global space ecosystem, is renowned for her advocacy for space technology and innovation. A former U.S. Air Force Officer and Chief Operating Officer of Space Foundation, she is now the CEO & Founder of SB Global LLC. Shelli bridges the space community and the broader public, fostering collaborations that drive the industry forward. As a prolific keynote speaker and author, she engages audiences on leadership, career success, and the practical applications of space technologies. A futurist, she works with global think tanks and contributes to initiatives shaping the future space paradigm. Her support for underrepresented groups has earned her recognition, including as one of the Top 100 Women of the Future in Emerging Technology and recipient of two Lifetime Achievement Awards.Highlights:Shelli's four-chapter career: from Air Force enlistee to space acquisition officer, Space Foundation COO, and now CEO bridging space technology with the public.The space industry's evolution from the Apollo eraHow space technology affects daily lifeShelli's book combines personal reflections with practical advice for professional development.The space industry teaches leadership through risk managementSpace innovations solve real problems, like using the ISS to 3D print lens replacements for macular degeneration.Shelli's leadership philosophy: inspiration, authenticity, and gratitude.Space careers exist for people of all backgrounds—not just engineers and scientists.Advice for emerging leaders: "The sky is not the limit. There are no limits."Learn More About Shelli:Book: What's Space Got To Do With It?: 10 Life Lessons For Personal GrowthPersonal WebsiteLinkedInInstagramTwitterGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

What really motivates people at work? Is it money, recognition, or something deeper? In this episode, Kristen unpacks three of the most influential motivation theories that can transform how you lead your team. Mike adds his real-world perspective as they explore why fear can be a powerful motivator, why a raise alone won't keep your employees engaged long-term, and how trust plays a crucial role in whether your team will go the extra mile. Whether you're struggling with unmotivated team members or want to create a more energized workplace, this conversation offers practical insights that go beyond standard motivational tactics.Highlights:Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and how it applies to workplace motivationThe surprising truth about salary's limited impact on long-term motivation according to Herzberg's Two Factor TheoryWhy company policies, supervision, and work conditions can prevent dissatisfaction but won't actively motivate employeesHow expectancy theory explains why the same rewards don't motivate everyone equallyMike's perspective on why some generations appear less motivated in traditional workplace settingsThe critical connection between trust and motivation - why employees need to believe promises will be keptPractical leadership strategies for creating a motivating environment that addresses all aspects of employee needsWhy discipline might be more reliable than motivation according to Jocko Willink's philosophyLinks & Resources Mentioned:The First 90 Days by Michael D. Watkins10X Is Easier Than 2X by Dan Sullivan & Benjamin HardyDiscipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

International Women's Day is coming up on March 8th! In this special episode Kristen shares her 2024 IWD talk from Google's Women Techmakers event on tackling imposter syndrome through improv techniques. While 75% of women executives report experiencing imposter syndrome, Kristen reveals how her journey from tech leader to improv performer helped her develop practical tools to manage self-doubt. She breaks down the five types of "imposters" and shares specific exercises anyone can use to build confidence and reduce imposter syndrome's power. From embracing mistakes to finding comfort in discomfort, listeners will learn actionable strategies they can start using today to show up more confidently at work. Perfect for anyone who's ever wondered "Do I really belong here?" or "What if they find out I'm not qualified?"Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Ever wonder why some new leaders hit the ground running while others stumble? Kristen and Mike break down Michael Watkins' essential guide The First 90 Days - a book The Economist called "the onboarding bible." Whether you're stepping into your first leadership role or you're a seasoned executive making a change, this episode will help you avoid common pitfalls and set yourself up for success. Mike shares his recent experience applying these principles in his new role, while Kristen draws on her years of using this framework in executive coaching. Plus, some late-night recording session humor and a heated debate about the Oxford comma keep things light while diving into this meaty topic.Highlights:The STARS Model: Understanding whether you're entering a Startup, Turnaround, Accelerated Growth, Realignment, or Sustaining Success situationCommon traps new leaders fall into when using old strategiesThe "action imperative" trap: Why trying to make changes too quickly can backfireBuilding your team: When to keep people, when to make changes, and how to do it humanelyFive essential conversations to have with your boss in your first 90 daysHow to identify and secure "early wins" that matterManaging the organizational "immune system" response to changeCreating your personal support network and advice channelsBalancing technical learning with cultural and political awarenessLinks & Resources Mentioned:The First 90 Days by Michael D. WatkinsNever Split the Difference by Chris VossWhat Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall GoldsmithThe Dichotomy of Leadership by Jocko WillinkThe Art of War by Sun TzuStart With Why by Simon SinekBoundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry CloudInfluence by Robert CialdiniThinking Fast and Slow by Daniel KahnemanManaging Oneself by Peter DruckerGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Ever wonder why some leaders seem to effortlessly build thriving teams while others struggle with constant turnover? In this episode, guest Candice Hahn, a veteran marketing agency executive with over 25 years of experience, shares her refreshing take on leadership in the fast-paced agency world. Candice opens up about why working for good people has been the guiding force in her career and reveals her unique approach to developing talent. She explains why there's "no such thing as a marketing emergency" and how this mindset shapes the way she leads. Whether you're managing a team or aspiring to move up the ladder, Candice's practical insights on everything from imposter syndrome to advocating for yourself will help you become a more effective and empathetic leader.About Candice:Candice Hahn has 25+ years of experience in professional services. Initially working in strategy consulting, then she pivoted to the digital world while living in San Francisco. She's worked and led strategy teams at global marketing agencies including Modem Media, Publicis Modem and iCrossing where she helped clients navigate and thrive in the digital world. Most recently, Candice spent nearly 9 years at R/GA, a global innovation agency, building a team and an office in Austin, TX. There she added new logos to the R/GA roster including Michaels, Whole Foods Market, Crocs and others, winning global awards including a Cannes Lion and Effie, and delivering profitable growth year over year during her entire tenure. After recording this episode she started a new role as VP of Consumer Electronics at OUTFORM. Highlights:Why leading a people-based business requires focusing on internal team health before client needsThe "three concentric circles" framework for career growth and why staying slightly uncomfortable is key to developmentWhy good leaders recognize they're in the people development business and create environments where others can succeedThe importance of transparency and over-communication in building trust with your teamHow to handle imposter syndrome, especially as a woman in leadershipThe shift from looking for "culture fit" to "culture add" when building teamsThe value of having clear, documented expectations for career advancementWhy advocating for yourself is crucial, even though it can feel uncomfortableThe power of reframing "failures" as character-building momentsLinks & Resources Mentioned:Follow Candice on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/candice-hahn-56a266/Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Most leaders know feedback is essential for growth, but let's be honest - receiving it can be uncomfortable, even painful. In this episode, Kristen and Mike get real about their own struggles with feedback and share practical strategies to make the process less daunting. Whether you're dealing with a 360 review or an unexpected comment from a team member, you'll learn how to stay composed, listen effectively, and use feedback to become a stronger leader. Plus, discover why comparing different feedback styles to cookies might forever change how you think about giving and receiving feedback.Download your free PDF of the receiving feedback model reviewed in the episode: llpod.link/feedbackHighlights:Three types of feedback from Marshall Goldsmith: solicited, unsolicited, and observational feedbackMike'sexperience learning about feedback in Chinese restaurant culturePros and cons of different 360 feedback formats, from anonymous surveys to verbal interviewsHarvard Business Review article on feedback, including tips for crafting effective feedback questionsCreative discussion of different feedback styles compared to types of cookies (from the classic "Oreo" feedback sandwich to the raw, unfiltered "cookie dough")Kristen's 9-step model for receiving feedback effectively, starting with awareness and ending with actionThe importance of taking time to process feedback rather than feeling pressured to respond immediatelyTips for staying present while receiving feedback, like taking notes to maintain focusThe value of following up after receiving feedback, whether you plan to make changes or notLinks & Resources Mentioned:Download the 9 Steps for Receiving Feedback PDFHarvard Business Review: How Leaders Can Get the Feedback They Need to GrowZenger Folkman: Feedback - The Powerful ParadoxWhat Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall GoldsmithRadical Candor by Kim ScottThe First 90 Days by Michael WatkinsIt's Your Ship by D. Michael AbrashoffThe Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay StanierRelated Episodes:#10: How to Give Difficult Feedback Effectively#16: Leadership Book Club: What Got You Here Won't Get You TherePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Mike and Kristen break down Chris Voss's game-changing book on negotiation, Never Split the Difference. As a former FBI hostage negotiator, Voss brings street-smart tactics that work in real-world situations, not just theory. The couple explores how these techniques—from using the late-night FM DJ voice to mastering the power of "no"—can transform both business and personal interactions. Mike shares his experience applying these methods in restaurant management, while Kristen connects the dots between negotiation tactics and improv techniques. They unpack why getting to "yes" isn't always the goal and how understanding your negotiating style (are you an Accommodator, Analyst, or Assertive?) can make or break your success.Highlights:The psychology behind the "late-night FM DJ voice" and why tone matters more than you thinkWhy "no" is more powerful than "yes" and how to use it to your advantageThe three negotiating styles: Accommodator, Analyst, and Assertive - and how to work with eachWhy asking "How am I supposed to do that?" can be your secret weaponThe power of tactical empathy and why labeling emotions worksGetting to "that's right" instead of "you're right" - and why the difference mattersUsing the Ackerman model for pricing negotiations (start at 65% and work up strategically)How to prepare a negotiation one-sheet that sets you up for successLinks & Resources Mentioned:Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Getting to Yes by Roger Fish and William UryThinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Influence by Robert CialdiniHow to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale CarnegieThe First 90 Days by Michael D. WatkinsJefferson Fisher on Instagram for negotiation tipsPrevious Episode: The Coaching HabitGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

What does it really mean to be an ally in today's workplace? For Amira Barger, Executive Vice President of DEI Advisory and Health Communications at Edelman, it's about going beyond being "nice." Growing up as the daughter of missionaries in Guam, Amira learned early on about meeting people's needs and building community. Now, she's challenging leaders to move past surface-level actions and ask the critical question: "What do you need to show up as your chosen self?" In this powerful conversation, Amira shares why "nice is not the measure" when it comes to creating real change, how behavioral communication shaped campaigns like "Don't Mess with Texas," and what it means to be a leader who truly builds capacity in others rather than just checking boxes.About AmiraAmira Barger is a multi-award-winning Executive Vice President at Edelman, focusing on health equity, DEI, and employee engagement. She provides strategic communications counsel that mobilizes communities and inspires action. As a professor at California State University East Bay, she teaches marketing, communications, and change management. She leverages design thinking to advance DEI and writes about Black women in the workplace and actionable steps for Black liberation in publications like Fast Company and MSNBC.Highlights:Growing up in Guam as part of a missionary family taught Amira the importance of meeting community needs, particularly in healthcareHow iving through major events shaped her view that we're "whole humans, not just working humans"The power of the "platinum rule" - treating others as they want to be treated - versus the traditional golden ruleWhy DEI work remains vital despite backlash, and how everyday workers across political lines value inclusionThe "curb cut effect" - how solutions designed for specific groups often benefit everyoneWhy "chosen self" can be more meaningful than "authentic self" in professional settingsHow middle managers shape workplace culture and why they need more capacity building, not just trainingWhy "nice is not the measure" and the importance of being a co-conspirator rather than just an allyUsing behavioral communication principles to create positive changeLinks & Resources Mentioned:Learn more about Amira's work:LinkedIn ProfileInstagram (@amirabarger)Writing PortfolioFortune's Report on Accidental Managers (2024)Don't Mess with Texas - Fabulous Thunderbirds Ad (1986)The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay StanierGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Love and Leadership is taking a break this week, but we're re-airing one of our favorite early episodes to help you set the tone for the new year! In this episode, Kristen and Mike dive into the evolving concept of leadership presence. They explore how traditional notions of executive presence are shifting, with a growing emphasis on emotional intelligence, authenticity, and inclusivity. Drawing from Kristen's improv-inspired leadership model, they discuss practical ways to enhance awareness, authenticity, and connection in leadership roles. This episode gives leaders at all levels practical tips to build a leadership style that works well in today's work world. Listeners will come away with actionable strategies to boost their leadership effectiveness and create more meaningful connections with their teams.Highlights:The changing landscape of executive presence over the past decadeThe misconception that charisma is necessary for effective leadershipThe growing emphasis on inclusivity and respect for others in leadership The importance of authenticity in modern leadership The role of bias in leadership perceptions and decision-making Kristen's AdLib leadership presence model: awareness, authenticity, and connection The importance of mindfulness and different levels of listening in leadership Understanding and managing your inner judge to foster authenticity The power of "Yes, And" in building trust and fostering creativityHow to recognize and appreciate team members effectivelyLeadership as an ongoing journey of learning and growth Links & Resources Mentioned:HBR: The New Rules of Executive Presence by Sylvia Ann HewlettThinking Fast and Slow by Daniel KahnemanGood to Great by Jim CollinsThe Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman and Paul WhiteGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

As the year winds down, Kristen shares her tried-and-tested process for conducting a personal annual review - a practice she's refined over 15 years. Whether you're reflecting on your career progression or contemplating personal growth, this episode offers a straightforward approach to evaluating your year and setting meaningful goals for 2025. Plus, Mike shares his perspective on performance reviews from his executive experience and why the Marine Corps' evaluation system stands out as a model of excellence.Want to make 2025 your best year yet? Download Kristen's free 20-page Personal Annual Review workbook and follow along with this episode. The workbook includes guided exercises, reflection prompts, and the full "Wheel of Life" assessment tool to help you create a clear vision for the year ahead. And, follow it up with a free 30-minute coaching session with Kristen (available for January only). Episode Highlights:The perfect timing of the week between Christmas and New Year's for reflection and planningA simple but effective three-part process for conducting your personal annual reviewThe importance of celebrating wins and acknowledging challenges from the past yearHow to use the "Wheel of Life" coaching tool to evaluate different areas of your lifeTips for setting measurable goals while staying flexible in your approachThe value of identifying energy-giving and energy-draining activitiesWhy writing things down by hand can lead to deeper insightsThe power of choosing a theme word for your upcoming yearLinks & Resources Mentioned:Free Personal Annual Review Workbook: llpod.link/2024reviewBook your free 30-minute coaching session with Kristen (exclusive January 2025 offer)The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan & Dr. Benjamin HardyJocko Podcast: 174 with Echo CharlesMarine Corps Evaluation FormSahil Bloom: The Personal Annual ReviewPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

What makes some organizations inspire fierce loyalty while others just seem to exist? In this episode, Kristen and Mike dive into Simon Sinek's groundbreaking book "Start With Why," exploring how truly great leaders and companies create lasting success by focusing on their purpose rather than just their products. Through compelling examples from Apple to Martin Luther King Jr., they break down why people don't buy what you do - they buy why you do it. Whether you're building a business, leading a team, or trying to make a bigger impact, this episode reveals how starting with your "why" can transform your approach to leadership and create genuine, lasting connections with both customers and employees.Highlights:The Golden Circle concept: Understanding the critical difference between what you do, how you do it, and why you do itWhy manipulation tactics like price cuts and promotions might work short-term but won't build lasting loyaltyThe fascinating neuroscience behind decision-making and how the limbic brain influences our choicesThe Law of Diffusion of Innovation and why you need to reach 15-18% market penetration before achieving mass successHow great organizations maintain consistency between their why, how, and what across all aspects of their businessThe importance of finding and developing leaders who share your organization's core whyThe "Celery Test" - a practical framework for making decisions that align with your organization's purposeWhy success can actually be the biggest challenge for maintaining your organizational whyThe difference between achievement (getting what you want) and success (knowing why you want it)The power of finding and articulating your personal why as a leaderLinks & Resources Mentioned:Start with Why by Simon Sinek Simon Sinek's 2009 TED Talk: "How Great Leaders Inspire Action"Leaders Eat Last by Simon SinekInfluence by Robert CialdiniKitchen Confidential by Anthony BourdainNever Split the Difference by Chris Voss Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Ever wonder what truly makes a great leadership team tick? Kristen shares insights from her recent team coaching certification program and breaks down the research-backed conditions that create outstanding teams. Drawing from Ruth Wageman and Richard Hackman's work on senior leadership teams, Mike and Kristen explore how the setup of a team accounts for 60% of its eventual success - far more than what happens once the team is already working together. Through analogies to orchestras and kitchens, they unpack what makes teams truly interdependent and how leaders can create the right conditions for their teams to thrive.Highlights:The definition of a real team and why reporting structures alone don't make a teamThe four types of teams: informational, consultative, coordinating, and decision-makingWhy less than 7% of teams actually agree on who is part of the teamThe three essential conditions for team effectiveness: a real team, clear purpose, and right peopleHow empathy and integrity are the two most important predictors of leadership team successKey behaviors to watch for when selecting (or removing) team membersWhy team norms and clear behavioral expectations matter more than values statementsThe importance of having the right team size and support systems in placeLinks & Resources Mentioned:Senior Leadership Teams by Ruth Wageman, Debra A. Nunes, James A. Burruss, and J. Richard HackmanStart with Why by Simon SinekBoundaries for Leaders by Henry CloudIntegrity by Henry CloudEpisode 20: Leading Through Uncertain Times with Tushar PanditGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Leadership isn't just about hitting the numbers - it's about how you get there. Through candid stories from his 25+ years in human resources, Chief People Officer Tushar Pandit challenges common misconceptions about workplace culture and HR. He explains why foosball tables and kombucha aren't company values (though he enjoys kombucha), why measuring employee engagement isn't enough, and what it really takes to build an organization where people want to stay and grow. This conversation dives into why the "Chief People and Culture Officer" title misses the mark, how to lead through constant change, and what it means to truly care for your team while driving business results.About Tushar:Tushar Pandit is a values and culture catalyst People Executive with 25+ years of broad and deep experience in the tech-enablement space: from start-ups through multi-nationals, and VC/PE-backed privately-held to publicly-traded. He is currently the Chief People Officer at SPINS, the leading provider of retail consumer insights, analytics and consulting for the Natural, Organic and Specialty Products Industry. He's an enabler with a principle focus to be a strategic, people leader: to lead with data to enhance an organization's sustainable and scalable long-term growth and success – all within a social and collaborative enterprise environment! Highlights:How an internship at a law firm unexpectedly led Tushar to discover his passion for HR and people operationsWhy the Chief People Officer role has evolved beyond "getting a seat at the table" into driving organizational transformationThe problem with treating culture as HR's responsibility - and why every leader needs to own itHow to handle high performers who get results but leave "20 dead bodies behind"Why work-life balance is a myth - and what work-life management looks like instead The importance of letting people be adults and trusting them to manage their timeWhy the best leaders believe more in your potential than you do yourselfHow to lead through VUCA (volatility, uncertainty, complexity, ambiguity) in today's business environmentThe danger of the phrase "that's the way we've always done it" - and why change management matters more than everLinks & Resources Mentioned:Follow Tushar Pandit on LinkedInSPINS (Tushar's company)Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer JohnsonGive and Take by Adam GrantGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

When 36-year-old Mike Abrashoff took command of the USS Benfold in 1997, he faced a demoralized crew that openly jeered their departing captain. Instead of sticking with the Navy's traditional command-and-control leadership style, Abrashoff decided to revolutionize how he led. His radical approach? Trust his crew, listen to their ideas, and make their lives better. The results were unprecedented - taking a ship with low morale and poor performance and transforming it into what many considered the best damn ship in the Navy. In this episode, Mike and Kristen break down Abrashoff's leadership philosophy and how his innovative approaches from 25 years ago remain remarkably relevant today.Highlights:What drives people to leave organizations: lack of dignity, inability to make an impact, not being listened to, and lack of responsibilityThe "Washington Post test" for decision-making: would you be comfortable seeing your actions on the front page?Three key questions for leaders when things go wrong: Were goals clear? Were there enough resources? Was training sufficient?Breaking down hierarchy by modeling the behavior you want to see from othersCreating a climate of trust through collaboration over competitionBuilding people up through praise, opportunity, and improved quality of lifeTaking calculated risks that empower your team to show initiativeHow focusing on people development led to exceptional combat readinessLinks & Resources Mentioned:It's Your Ship by Captain D. Michael AbrashoffStart With Why by Simon Sinek Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Dare to Lead by Brené Brown Extreme Ownership by Jocko WillinkGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

What if you could make better decisions with less stress? Kristen and Mike go deep into the science of decision-making, exploring why it's such a crucial leadership skill and sharing practical frameworks to help you decide with confidence. They reveal surprising research showing that leaders make around 35,000 decisions daily and that 85% of leaders have experienced decision distress in the past year. But there's hope - by understanding cognitive biases, using structured processes, and learning when to delegate decisions, you can dramatically improve your decision-making abilities. Whether you're struggling with decision fatigue or want to help your team make better choices, this episode offers concrete tools you can start using today.Download your free PDF of the BRIEFED decision-making framework reviewed in the episode: llpod.link/decisionHighlights:Why quick, authoritative decision-makers are often seen as more effective leadersThe optimal amount of information needed before making a decision (hint: it's not 100%)How System 1 (fast) and System 2 (slow) thinking affect our choicesCommon cognitive biases that impact decision-making, including anchoring bias and sunk cost fallacyIntroduction to the BRIEFED decision-making framework for complex decisionsA practical matrix for knowing which decisions to make yourself vs delegate to your teamWhy debriefing after important decisions is crucial (and often skipped)Links & Resources Mentioned:Download the BRIEFED Decision-Making FrameworkOracle Study: The Decision DilemmaMIT Sloan Review: Effective Leaders Decide About DecidingThe Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay StanierNever Split the Difference by Chris VossIron-Sharpened Leadership by John L. GronskiThinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel KahnemanIt's Your Ship by Captain D. Michael AbrashoffPlaying to Win by A.G. LafleyRelated Episodes:#2 The New Playbook for Leadership Presence#5 A Leader's Guide to Imposter Syndrome#9 Leadership Book Club: The Coaching HabitPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In this guest interview episode, Rebecca Yang, Director of Engineering at HubSpot, shares her unconventional journey to tech leadership and reveals seven uncommon leadership principles that have shaped her success. From her early days in client services to leading a 50+ person engineering team, Rebecca opens up about how embracing authenticity and overcoming personal challenges has made her a more effective leader. Her refreshing take on leadership - including why micromanagement isn't always bad and why you shouldn't trust your gut with feedback - offers valuable insights for leaders at all levels.About Rebecca:Rebecca Yang is a Director of Engineering at HubSpot, leading the Breeze Intelligence group. She joined HubSpot in 2023 through the Clearbit acquisition, where she previously served as VP of Engineering. She's passionate about cultivating high performance engineering cultures. Rebecca's teams focus on shipping innovative, impactful customer-facing solutions.Highlights:How coming out as a queer woman early in her career shaped her leadership style, particularly around transparency and authenticityThe unique culture of engineering teams and how it allows for greater self-expression and authenticityWhy psychological safety starts with how we handle critical feedback - both giving and receiving itA deep dive into Rebecca's "7 Uncommon Leadership Principles"How Rebecca successfully led her team through a challenging one-third reduction in workforce by being transparent about the "why"The importance of "Debate, Decide, Unite" in building team alignmentWhy leaders must own difficult messages rather than deflecting responsibilityLinks & Resources Mentioned:Rebecca Yang's LinkedIn ProfileStay SaaSy Blog: Don't Create ChaosDharmesh Shah's "Debate, Decide and Unite" FrameworkGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike break down Marshall Goldsmith's influential book "What Got You Here Won't Get You There." While they praise the practical advice and behavioral frameworks in the book, they also challenge some of its core assumptions and discuss how leadership development has evolved since its 2007 publication. Through their analysis, they reveal how seemingly small behavioral habits can make or break a leader's effectiveness - and why changing these habits requires more than just willpower. The episode offers both practical tips for behavior change and a thoughtful critique of traditional executive coaching approaches, making it valuable for anyone looking to grow as a leader.Highlights:The 20 workplace habits that can derail successful leaders and why "winning too much" tends to be the most common and destructive behaviorHow successful leaders typically exhibit 6-8 of these habits, and why identifying your one or two biggest problem areas is crucial for developmentThe surprising reason why stopping negative behaviors can be more effective than trying to develop new positive onesA detailed breakdown of Goldsmith's seven-step change process, including how to gather feedback, apologize effectively, and follow through consistentlyWhy traditional approaches to leadership development might oversimplify complex psychological factors like imposter syndrome and internal motivationThe concept of "feedforward" and how this future-focused alternative to traditional feedback can create more openness to changeHow the simple act of saying "thank you" can transform the way you receive feedback and criticismAn analysis of whether the book's somewhat rigid approach and lack of nuance still serves modern leaders effectivelyLinks & Resources Mentioned:What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall GoldsmithExtreme Ownership by Jocko WillinkHow to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale CarnegieDare to Lead by Brené BrownIt's Your Ship by Michael AbrashoffGood to Great by Jim CollinsThe First 90 Days by Michael D. WatkinsGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

What's the real difference between a manager and a leader? While technical skills and industry knowledge matter, emotional intelligence often makes or breaks leadership effectiveness. In this episode, Kristen breaks down the Genos six key competencies of emotional intelligence and how they show up in leadership, while Mike adds his perspective (using an enlightening feelings wheel). Through practical examples and even a few Star Trek references, they explore how emotional intelligence impacts everything from decision-making to team performance. Whether you've heard of EI before or this is all new territory, you'll walk away understanding exactly what emotional intelligence looks like in action and how to start improving yours today.Download your free PDF companion to this episode, featuring the Genos emotional intelligence model and 18 tips for boosting your EI: https://llpod.link/eiHighlights:The history of emotional intelligence and how it became such an important leadership skillWhy emotional intelligence can be learned (with the right approach) The research-backed benefits of emotional intelligence for leadership effectivenessA breakdown of the six Genos emotional intelligence competencies: self-awareness, awareness of others, authenticity, emotional reasoning, self-management, and inspiring performanceHow to actually improve your emotional intelligence through reflection, feedback, and intentional habit formationThe balance between showing authenticity and managing emotions as a leaderThe critical importance of understanding both emotional and logical information in decision-makingLinks & Resources MentionedFree PDF: 18 Ways to Boost Your Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence by Daniel GolemanHarvard Business Review: What Makes a Leader by Daniel GolemanGenos InternationalIron Sharpened Leadership by John GronskiNever Split the Difference by Chris VossFeelings Wheel 2 Pack (from Amazon)Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In part two of their deep dive into Brené Brown's Dare to Lead, Kristen and Mike explore shame, empathy, and trust through both personal and professional lenses. Through vulnerable stories - including Mike's nerve-wracking experience of saying "I love you" first and Kristen's college final exam mishap - they break down how shame shows up in leadership and what to do about it. The episode unpacks practical frameworks for building trust, developing emotional literacy, and becoming more resilient. For leaders looking to create psychologically safe environments where their teams can take risks and bounce back from failure, this episode offers concrete tools and relatable examples of putting Brown's research into practice.You can listen to part one here: https://www.loveandleadershippod.com/12Highlights:The difference between shame ("I am bad") and guilt ("I did something bad"), and why this distinction matters for leadershipHow shame can permeate organizational culture through perfectionism, favoritism, and tying self-worth to productivityThe BRAVING framework for building trust: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, and GenerosityUnderstanding emotional literacy and why leaders need to be able to identify and name at least 30 different emotionsSix common ways people offload emotions onto others, including "chandeliering" (sudden emotional outbursts from those in power)The importance of identifying personal and organizational values, and how to actually put them into practiceWhy "the story I'm telling myself" is a powerful tool for managing emotional reactionsThe three-step Learning to Rise process for building resilience: The Reckoning, The Rumble, and The RevolutionLinks & Resources:Dare to Lead by Brené BrownDare to Lead Hub - Free downloadable workbook and resourcesThe Thin Book of Trust by Charles FeltmanThe Gifts of Imperfection by Brené BrownThe Gap and The Gain by Dan SullivanGood to Great by Jim CollinsExtreme Ownership by Jocko Wilink Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

As the 2024 US presidential election looms, leaders face a unique challenge: supporting their teams' mental wellness during a high-stress period. In this episode, Kristen and Mike explore this timely topic with licensed therapist Megan Romano. They discuss how leaders can navigate the emotional minefield of election season, from recognizing their own triggers to creating a psychologically safe environment for their teams. Megan shares practical techniques for emotional regulation and emphasizes the importance of leaders modeling vulnerability and self-care. This episode offers invaluable insights on how to lead with empathy and resilience during turbulent times.About Megan:Megan Romano (M.S., LMFT) is a New York-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in trauma therapy. With extensive experience in inpatient rehabilitation and online therapy, she has treated clients globally and trained therapists in various settings. She is certified in treating disruptive behavioral disorders, crisis intervention, and trauma-focused cognitive behavioral disorders. She provides therapy for individuals, families, and couples, addressing a wide range of challenges. She has received "The Best of Brooklyn Award for Counseling and Mental Health" for nine consecutive years. She is also the founder of Human Nation™, a mental health resource, and the inventor of a patent-pending trauma intervention that is 100% effective and substance-free.Highlights:The impact of elections on workplace dynamics: 79% of employees reported being distracted during the 2020 election.The importance of leaders recognizing and regulating their own emotions before addressing their team's concerns.Techniques for emotional regulation, including breathing exercises and identifying physical signs of stress.The value of taking timeouts during tense meetings to allow for emotional processing.The role of vulnerability in leadership and how it can foster trust and psychological safety.The concept of "tend and befriend" as a positive stress response in the workplace.The importance of authentic check-ins with employees and listening to learn rather than to respond.Tips for finding the right therapist and normalizing mental health care in the workplace.The benefits of proactive therapy for leaders, even without a specific crisis or diagnosis.Links and Resources Mentioned:Human Nation™ websiteMegan Romano TherapyMegan's new Instagram accountZippia election studyThe Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigalDare to Lead by Brené BrownGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Join Kristen and Mike as they explore the world of courageous leadership through Brené Brown's groundbreaking book Dare to Lead. In this first part of a two-episode series, they unpack the myths surrounding vulnerability, the power of clear communication, and the importance of embracing discomfort in leadership. From discussing the "armory" we use to protect ourselves to examining the differences between armored and daring leadership styles, this episode offers practical insights for leaders at all levels. Whether you're struggling with perfectionism, battling imposter syndrome, or simply looking to lead with more authenticity, this conversation will challenge you to rethink your approach to leadership and inspire you to step into your own arena with courage.Highlights:Introduction to Brené Brown's "Dare to Lead" and its significance in leadership literatureExploration of the six myths of vulnerability and their impact on leadershipDiscussion of the "armory" and how it affects our ability to lead authenticallyBreakdown of 16 key differences between armored and daring leadership stylesExamination of the importance of clear communication and "painting done" for team alignmentInsights on the role of empathy, trust, and belonging in effective leadershipReflection on the challenges of balancing productivity with rest and recoveryAnalysis of the impact of shame and blame on organizational culturePersonal anecdotes from Kristen and Mike relating to their own leadership experiencesLinks & Resources Mentioned:Dare to Lead by Brené BrownDaring Greatly by Brené BrownRising Strong by Brené BrownBrené Brown's 2010 TED Talk (The Power of Vulnerability)The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkSelf-Compassion by Kristin NeffExtreme Ownership by Jocko WillinkGood to Great by Jim Collins Relentless by Tim GroverLove and Leadership Episode #11 with Melissa JurkoicIn Your Face app for managing ADHD and meetingsGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen sits down with Melissa Jurkoic, a tech industry veteran and champion for diversity in leadership. Melissa's journey from junior software engineer to Chief Experience Officer is a testament to the power of resilience and authenticity in leadership. She shares candid insights on navigating male-dominated spaces, the importance of sponsorship, and why being your genuine self is crucial for effective leadership. Melissa's approach to "boundaried vulnerability" offers a fresh perspective on balancing openness with professionalism. This conversation will challenge you to rethink your approach to leadership and inspire you to create more inclusive, transparent work environments.About Melissa:Melissa Jurkoic has been in the tech industry for more than 25 years, primarily in hospitality tech, progressing from Junior Software Engineer to her current position as Chief Experience Officer at Thynk. She earned a Bachelor's in Computer Science from the University of New Hampshire and an executive certificate in Management and Leadership from MIT. Motivated by her commitment to increasing the representation of women in leadership and tech, she has volunteered with various global organizations such as ChickTech, Everwise, WITI, NH Tech Alliance, Microsoft DigiGirlz, wiseHer, Girl Scouts, and AnitaB.org. This dedication also inspired her to co-found Diversify Thinking, an initiative dedicated to advancing inclusion from dialogue to implementation and fostering diversity of thought.Highlights:Melissa's unexpected path from aspiring journalist to engineering leaderThe impact of having a sponsor who puts you "in the room"Dealing with skepticism and proving yourself as a woman in techThe concept of "boundaried vulnerability" in leadershipCreating a culture of trust and transparency within teamsThe importance of authenticity in leadership, even during tough timesChallenging the notion of "like-minded" teams and embracing diversity of thoughtMelissa's experience with Diversify Thinking and unconventional mentoring programsThe mutual benefits of mentoring across different backgrounds and experiencesLinks & Resources Mentioned:Melissa's LinkedIn profileDiversify Thinking (Melissa's initiative)WomenTech Network (where Kristen and Melissa met)Leaders Eat Last by Simon SinekDare to Lead by Brené BrownGet your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challengePodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Giving difficult feedback is a crucial skill for leaders, but it's often dreaded. In this episode of Love and Leadership, Kristen and Mike Sharkey dive into the art of delivering constructive criticism effectively. They explore why the traditional "feedback sandwich" falls short and introduce a more impactful approach. Drawing from their personal experiences and research, they offer practical strategies to make feedback conversations more productive and less anxiety-inducing for both parties. Whether you're a new manager or a seasoned executive, this episode will equip you with tools to transform challenging conversations into opportunities for growth and stronger relationships with your team.Highlights:The importance of feedback in leadership and why employees actually want more of itWhy the "feedback sandwich" method is ineffective and can undermine your messageIntroduction to Kristen's IMPEL model for delivering feedback: Intention, Moment, Presentation, Exploration, and LayoutThe significance of choosing the right moment and gaining commitment before giving feedbackHow to frame feedback in a way that shows you have the employee's best interests at heartUsing the SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact) framework to make feedback specific and actionableThe importance of active listening and allowing the receiver to process the feedbackEmpowering the feedback receiver to commit to their own action planTips for preparing for difficult feedback conversations, including writing out talking pointsHow leaders can overcome their own discomfort with giving feedbackLinks & Resources Mentioned:Zenger Folkman research on feedbackHarvard Business Review article by Zenger and FolkmanKim Scott's blog post on why the feedback sandwich is ineffectiveThe Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay StanierThe Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin HardyRadical Candor by Kim ScottIt's Your Ship by Captain D. Michael AbrashoffThe Advice Trap by Michael Bungay StanierDare to Lead by Brené BrownPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike dive into The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier, a book that's transforming how leaders approach coaching. They unpack the seven essential questions that can revolutionize your leadership style, making you more effective and less overwhelmed. From learning to tame your "advice monster" to understanding the neuroscience behind great coaching, this episode is packed with practical insights. Whether you're drowning in an over-dependent team or struggling to focus on what really matters, Kristen and Mike offer a fresh perspective on how to lead with curiosity and empower your team. Plus, they share personal anecdotes and challenges in implementing these techniques, making the journey to better leadership both relatable and achievable.Highlights:Introduction to The Coaching Habit and its impact on leadership at all levelsThe importance of asking "What's on your mind?" to start meaningful conversationsUsing "And what else?" to dive deeper and generate more optionsFocusing on "What's the real challenge here for you?" to address core issuesThe power of "What do you want?" in increasing autonomy and trustHow "How can I help?" can prevent micromanagement and create clarityUnderstanding trade-offs with "If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?"The significance of reflection with "What was most useful for you?"Discussion on the neuroscience behind effective coaching techniquesPersonal insights from Kristen and Mike on implementing coaching habits in their livesLinks & Resources Mentioned:The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay StanierBox of Crayons (Michael Bungay Stanier's learning and development company)Atomic Habits by James ClearThe Power of Habit by Charles DuhiggMake It Stick by Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger, III, and Mark A. McDanielThe HeART of Laser-Focused Coaching by Marianne FranklinChill and Prosper by Denise Duffield ThomasPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In this episode, Kristen and Mike sit down with Nicole Mashburn, CEO of Villa Marin, a Continuing Care Retirement Community in Northern California. Nicole shares her journey into senior living leadership and her philosophy on authentic leadership. With over 20 years of experience, Nicole offers valuable insights on fostering a collaborative team environment, handling leadership challenges, and the importance of self-awareness. She discusses how her upbringing shaped her leadership style and emphasizes the power of vulnerability and empathy in the workplace. Listeners will gain practical advice on how to lead authentically, create a positive work culture, and find purpose in their careers.Highlights:How Nicole stumbled into senior living and found her passion for combining business with service to others.The importance of doing the right thing in business, even when it's challenging.How Nicole's leadership style has evolved through self-awareness and learning from past experiences.The power of modeling authenticity and asking team members what they need to succeed.The impact a leader's attitude can have on thousands of people by the end of the day.The Four Agreements and how they shape Nicole's leadership style.Advice for mentoring and supporting young leaders in their careers.The importance of purpose in aging and how it relates to servant leadership.Final advice for new leaders: Be yourself and find the right environment where you can thrive.About Nicole:Nicole Mashburn is the CEO of Villa Marin Homeowners Association, a premier Continuing Care Retirement Community in San Rafael, California. With over 20 years of experience in senior housing and long-term care, Nicole brings a wealth of expertise to her role. Her career spans leadership positions at Cogir, Etros, Discovery Senior Living, and Sagora Senior Living, where she consistently drove revenue growth, improved occupancy rates, and fostered high resident satisfaction. Known for her innovative approaches to community development and team leadership, Nicole is passionate about creating environments where both residents and staff can thrive. Her leadership philosophy emphasizes authenticity, empathy, and adaptability, with a focus on building meaningful relationships within the community. Follow her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlotte-nicole-dodson-63568b260/Links & Resources Mentioned:The Four Agreements by Don Miguel RuizRadical Aliveness modelVilla Marin (Nicole's community)The Greatest Generation by Tom BrokawPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Think improv is just for comedians and actors? Think again. In this episode, Kristen and Mike explore how the skills from improv theatre can actually make you a better leader. Kristen shares her experience using improv techniques in executive coaching, showing how these seemingly unrelated worlds collide in powerful ways. They discuss how improv can help you think on your feet, boost your confidence, and even make better decisions under pressure. You'll hear why tech CEOs and hospitality execs alike are turning to improv to sharpen their leadership skills. Whether you're struggling with perfectionism, dreading difficult conversations, or just want to bring more fun to your team, this episode has something for you. Kristen and Mike break down practical ways to start using improv ideas in your work life today. So get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even try saying "Yes, and..." to shake up your leadership style.You can find Kristen's free PDF of 12 improv-based exercises you can do on your own here: https://embldfy.link/12exercisesHighlights:The core principles of improv and how they relate to leadershipExamples of successful leaders who have used improv trainingKristen's AdLib Leader™ model for applying improv to leadership developmentHow improv enhances mindfulness and presence in leadershipThe impact of improv on active listening and emotional intelligenceWays improv reduces fear of failure and improves decision-makingUsing improv techniques to boost creativity and innovation in teamsHow improv skills help leaders navigate conflict and difficult conversationsThe importance of playfulness and positivity in leadershipPractical ways to incorporate improv exercises into your leadership practiceLinks & Resources Mentioned:Kristen's PDF: 12 Solo Improv-Based ExercisesBook: It's Your Ship by D. Michael AbrashoffHarvard Business Review Article: The More Senior Your Job Title, the More You Need to Keep a Journal by Dan CiampaInformation on Kristen's facilitation servicesPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Is extreme ownership the key to unlocking your leadership potential? In this episode of Love and Leadership, Kristen and Mike dive into "Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, a book that's been transformative for Mike's leadership journey. They break down the core principles of this Navy SEAL-inspired approach to leadership, discussing how taking full responsibility for everything in your world can lead to better decision-making and team performance. Kristen also shares some of her initial skepticism and the challenges she faced with the book's military-heavy narrative. This episode offers practical insights on how to apply extreme ownership in your professional life, while also highlighting the importance of finding your own leadership style. Discover how this powerful concept can reshape your approach to leadership and drive success in your organization.Highlights:The concept of extreme ownership and how it applies to leadership in businessThe importance of simplifying plans and communication in complex situationsHow to prioritize and execute tasks effectively when everything seems urgentThe power of decentralized command and empowering team membersThe balance between taking ownership and maintaining mental healthThe significance of understanding the "why" behind decisions and directivesThe value of leading both up and down the chain of commandThe dichotomy of leadership and finding balance in seemingly contradictory requirementsThe goal of working yourself out of a job by creating more leadersThe importance of finding your own leadership style and mentorsLinks & Resources Mentioned:Book: Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif BabinBook: Boundaries for Leaders by Henry CloudBook: It's Your Ship by D. Michael AbrashoffBook: The Dichotomy of Leadership by Jocko Willink and Leif BabinBook: Leadership Strategy and Tactics: Field Manual by Jocko WillinkBook: Turn the Ship Around by L. David MarquetPodcast: Jocko PodcastMike's Recommended Episodes from the Jocko Podcast:69 David Berke129 The General Principles of War163 Jason Redman164-166 Psychology For the Fighting Man303-306 How NOT to Lead351 SEALS, Spec Ops, and Psychedelics383 BillPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? You're not alone. In this episode, Kristen and Mike dive into the pervasive phenomenon of imposter syndrome. They explore how it affects people across industries and experience levels, debunking the myth that it's just a "women's issue." The hosts share personal experiences, discuss the five types of imposters, and offer practical strategies to combat those nagging self-doubts. Whether you're a seasoned executive or rising star, this episode provides valuable insights to help you recognize your true worth and lead with confidence. Plus, find out why we should all strive to be a little more like cats when it comes to self-assurance.Download Kristen's free PDF of 12 improv-based exercises you can do on your own: https://embldfy.link/12exercisesHighlights:Imposter syndrome affects people across genders and industries, not just womenThe five types of imposters: perfectionist, expert, soloist, natural genius, and superhumanImposter syndrome can lead to missed opportunities, decreased confidence, and burnoutImprov techniques like embracing mistakes help combat imposter syndromeFinding safe spaces to practice failure is crucial for personal growthChallenging limiting beliefs with evidence can reframe negative thought patternsKeeping a log of achievements and positive feedback reinforces capabilitiesSupportive relationships help counteract negative self-talkRekindling a sense of play boosts creativity and self-confidenceCelebrating small wins regularly builds positive momentumLinks & Resources Mentioned:Kristen's PDF: 12 improv-based exercises for individualsReshma Saujani's Smith College graduation speech on imposter syndromeKPMG report on imposter syndrome in women executivesDr. Valerie Young's research on the five types of impostersChill and Prosper by Denise Duffield ThomasIt's Your Ship by D. Michael AbrashoffThe Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin HardyJocko Willink's podcastPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Co-hosts Kristen Brun Sharkey and Mike Sharkey introduce their podcast Love and Leadership, which offers a unique blend of professional insight and personal chemistry. This leadership-focused show brings together Kristen's expertise as a leadership coach and facilitator with Mike's extensive experience as a senior living and hospitality executive. The couple, self-proclaimed "leadership nerds," share their past and present experiences, analyze influential leadership books, and conduct thought-provoking interviews with inspiring leaders and experts. Whether you're a seasoned executive or an emerging leader, Love and Leadership provides valuable insights to help you lead with both your head and your heart. With a touch of humor and a wealth of practical advice, this podcast aims to equip listeners with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of modern leadership, balancing analytical thinking with emotional intelligence.Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow Kristen and Mike on LinkedIn for additional content.