Podcast appearances and mentions of kelly bender

In this episode of The Corner of Story and Game, I welcome back narrative designer and comic book writer Kelly Bender for a deep-dive into one of the most crucial skills in storytelling: finding your voice, and your characters' voices! Kelly shares stories from his early days running creative programs for kids, to building dynamic characters in digital games and comics. Whether you're a narrative designer, an aspiring writer, or just a fan of character-driven storytelling, this conversation offers insight, inspiration, and a few laughs along the way.Don't miss this episode if you've ever wondered:When does a writer "find their voice"?How do you make game characters sound unique and believable?What role does life experience play in shaping voice?

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell break down key insights from Lesley's conversation with Sam Mandel, CEO and co-founder of Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles, one of the first ketamine clinics in the country. They explore how ketamine therapy can help reframe trauma, unlock new mental pathways, and provide clarity for lasting change. In this recap episode, they discuss the power of perspective shifts, breaking free from limiting beliefs, and why taking action—despite fear or perfectionism—is the key to growth. If you've ever felt stuck in your past, this conversation will give you a fresh way to move forward.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How ketamine therapy helps reframe past experiences and shift perspectives on trauma.The role of ketamine in rewiring the brain and breaking old thought patterns.Why a structured clinical environment ensures the best results with ketamine therapy.The importance of normalizing alternative mental health treatments and breaking the stigma.How perfectionism holds you back and why taking “messy action” leads to real growth.Episode References/Links:Cambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com Spring Pilates Training - https://opc.me/eventsPilates Studio Growth Accelerator - https://prfit.biz/acceleratorAccessories Flashcards Waitlist - https://opc.me/flashcardwaitlistKetamine Clinics LA Website: https://Ketamineclinics.com Sam Mandel's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thesammandel If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS!Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSoxBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramThe Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channelFacebookLinkedInThe OPC YouTube Channel Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  The past is the past, but our story about it can change at any given moment. So the event still happened, but the story we tell ourselves about that event that is something that we can change. And he said the ketamine really helps you dig in, because, well, first off, he said the most challenging aspect of trauma is that we feel like it can define us, and ketamine helps you see the traumatic events with a new perspective, detaching from the overwhelming emotions and allowing for more objective processing. Lesley Logan 0:31  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 1:10  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the eye-opening convo I had with Sam Mandel in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now go back and listen to that one or you can listen to this one and then listen to that one. You can listen, too, in whatever order you want. I found it to be really fascinating.Brad Crowell 1:35  Yeah, actually, I always find it funny that people tell us we've clearly said this almost 300 times now, or 250 times now saying you could pick if you want to watch one, listen to one first or the other, or watch and. Lesley Logan 1:48  People need permission. Brad Crowell 1:49  But then when people meet us, they say, oh, I'm really enjoying your recap. So I listen to them first and then go back. Or other people are like, I don't know. I have to listen to this first versus the I can't listen (inaudible).Lesley Logan 1:59  They want to guess. They want to know if their takeaway is what we're going to talk about, which I think is really fascinating. I think it's also what a great personality test.Brad Crowell 2:08  Yeah. I don't know what conclusions we're drawing from it but yes. Lesley Logan 2:11  Here's what I would say. I listen to a couple true crime shows, and I cannot listen to the talking about the show until I've listened to the show, because I like the anticipation of, like, did he do it? What's going on? Like, I like that. And then I like listening to. Brad Crowell 2:26  What are you talking about you skip to the end? Lesley Logan 2:30  Well, when we watched The Crown, yes, I Google. I Google, like, if it is true. Well, sometimes the anxiety makes me want to know.Brad Crowell 2:37  This is the Lesley thing. We start a thing, there's some kind of stress, which is, in every TV show, it's on purpose. And then she pulls out her phone, Google's the resolution for the entire show. And then I'm always like, don't tell me. I don't want to know. I literally don't want to know. I want to enjoy the show the way they made it. Lesley Logan 2:54  I am not your friend to support you not finding out if you're having a boy or girl, even though I completely support whether or not they identify as that, I like to know. Brad Crowell 3:06  You're not going to do the Moira Rose, I don't know if you trust me with that secret. Lesley Logan 3:13  No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to be I don't want to hold a secret. No, that's not true. I can't hold a secret. Brad Crowell 3:20  Hilarious. All right. Well, today is March 13th 2025 and it's a day for two specials things here. Lesley Logan 3:26  Oh, okay. So here we go. First up, it's International Every Girl Wins Day. This holiday helps bring attention to women's rights worldwide, especially to young girls. The celebrations involve talks, lectures and conferences on women's empowerment in every country, the goal is to achieve long-term systemic change that addresses women's rights to equity. The day also inspires young girls to take pride in their most essential assets. They're encouraged to support each other and be ambassador of the female empowerment movement, not just beneficiaries of it. The Ever Girl Wins Institute introduced this holiday. That's so cool. Brad Crowell 3:59  Yeah, pretty cool. Lesley Logan 4:00  What a fun day. Okay, well, that's so fun, we have to figure out how to celebrate that more. Let's participate next year. I don't know. Lex, if you're listening, let's talk about it.Brad Crowell 4:08  Yeah. Second up, it's National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day. Lesley Logan 4:13  What? Brad Crowell 4:13  Right? I was like, okay, I need to include this. So it's a day to test the popular superstition that opening an umbrella inside will bring bad luck. So I didn't know that was a thing. I didn't realize it. I've heard of walking under a ladder, something about black cats. I don't actually know. Lesley Logan 4:29  I have always heard that opening the umbrella inside is bad luck, but I've never participated in it, because where else are you supposed to open the umbrella, outside in the rain? Not everythin has a.Brad Crowell 4:39  You always open it indoor first, and then go outside with it.Lesley Logan 4:42  Oh, I kind of want to, if I can push the door open, I want to open the umbrella as I'm going outside, because. Brad Crowell 4:48  Yeah, as you're going outside.Lesley Logan 4:49  If there's not a, most buildings don't have a porch, like a, what do you call it? It's not a porch. It's not what you're staying on, it's, it's overhang. Most of them don't have the overhang. And I just think it's annoying, because then you're wet under your umbrella.Brad Crowell 4:49  Yes, yes.Lesley Logan 4:55  Okay, well, tell us more about this day. Brad Crowell 5:03  Apparently, superstitions are baseless beliefs held by people that influence their behavior. So, shame on you, apparently. There are irrational beliefs that performing or not performing particular acts will lead to either bad luck or good luck. National Open An Umbrella Day, Indoors Day, allows you to try your luck and see how your day goes. So if you're willing to risk it. Lesley Logan 5:27  I just think that this person is kind of an ass. It's baseless. Your superstitions are baseless beliefs. There are so much studies on where you have attention, that's where things go, and that's why manifesting works. So I would just say, focus on the good things. You don't bring in the bad. I wouldn't go wrong going, oh my God, this happened because I opened an umbrella inside, but maybe you do. And so this day is for you. Lesley Logan 5:47  Okay, so we are at P.O.T. Denver. It actually starts Friday, but we are on our way. And so if you're there, make sure you come and say hi. If you're an OPC agency or eLevate member, we are having a little happy hour, so make sure you come over and find us. We want to talk about it. We want to hug you. Then get this, guess what, guys, March 18th to the 24th the Accessories Deck is on presale.Brad Crowell 6:09  So that's less than one week, y'all. Lesley Logan 6:11  Yes, so if you go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, this is your last chance, because next week's podcast, we won't even be talking about it, because if you're not on the waitlist, you can't get the discount. So you must go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist to get that 30% off. Brad Crowell 6:27  I think we'll still talk about it this week. Lesley Logan 6:29  No, no. Urgency, people. Get on it.Brad Crowell 6:30  Get on it right now, opc.me/flashcardwaitlist. Lesley Logan 6:34  Hey, look, in case our things fuck up, and even though you get on the waitlist, you don't hear about it. Brad Crowell 6:38  It's possible. Lesley Logan 6:38  Also, because this is the last flashcard deck. Is there a waitlist anymore? Brad Crowell 6:43  Yeah, what are we going to do with this waitlist? We're going to have to email y'all and be like, hey, this waitlist is now closed. Do you want to go over to other waitlists and we'll, we'll let you know what we got.Lesley Logan 6:52  Yeah, we'll have to, someone, whoever was on the team listening, please assign me that task. Okay.Brad Crowell 6:56  Okay. Lesley Logan 6:57  April. Brad Crowell 6:58  Coming up hard. Coming up fast. Lesley Logan 7:00  April is coming up fast, and Spring Training is going to be April 27th through May 3rd, and those who are on the waitlist are going to get the early bird special. And this is a different waitlist than the flashcard waitlist. Brad Crowell 7:12  True. They're not the same waitlist. Lesley Logan 7:13  No, they're not. And so if you go to opc.me/events you are going to be entered.Brad Crowell 7:19  That is plural, opc.me/eventsLesley Logan 7:21  Plural. That's where you go to make sure you get the early bird opportunity, because we will open up the early bird sign-ups a few days before regular sign-ups, and only those on the waitlist are going to get the discounted rate. Up next, Brad, what do you got for them? Brad Crowell 7:35  Okay, we've got the Profitable Pilates Accelerator free webinar, if you are taking any clients on your own anywhere, whether that is at your house or in the park or your friend is, I don't know, buying you lunch. Technically, you are getting paid to teach, and that means you have your own business. And I'm sure you're aware, Lesley and I have been working with business owners just like you, just like us, where we were and where we are, coaching them through all the hard questions. How do you get new clients? How do I make this a living? Whatever the question might be, but I have a free webinar for you, specifically on increasing your income. Okay. So, come join me. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator that is profit without the O dot B-I-Z slash accelerator and join me for this free webinar. I can't wait to dig into the three biggest secrets that Lesley and I have learned after coaching more than 2500 small business owners just like you. And then finally, we've got October of this year. Lesley Logan 8:40  Cambodia.Brad Crowell 8:41  Cambodia. We literally just got back. Lesley Logan 8:43  We just got back and it was kind of a quick trip for us. We were only there. Brad Crowell 8:47  Two and a half weeks. Yeah, we were traveling for two and a half weeks. Lesley Logan 8:50  Yeah, we had a couple of days in Singapore, so not really two full weeks in Cambodia, but we loved it, and we're jonesing to go back already. And we have some epic people who already signed up. I'm really excited. Some of these people have been on the next time I'm gonna go next time for years, and now they're coming. Brad Crowell 8:50  It's true. Lesley Logan 8:55  And we have some repeat offenders. Brad Crowell 9:09  We have someone else signing up this weekend. It's definitely starting to get full. October is a very popular time for our community. The weather is lovely. It's quite beautiful. If that's something of interest to you, make sure you reach out to us as soon as possible, and we'll get you all the information that you need to make the decision. But it's going to be October 12th through the 18th, 2025 so, come hang out in our favorite place in the world. Lesley Logan 9:33  Yes. Brad Crowell 9:33  Where do you go? Crownestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com okay.Lesley Logan 9:39  Okay, so we're gonna get into the amazing Sam Mandel, and we're gonna learn all about ketamine and talk about it. Before we do that, we have a question from the audience. Brad Crowell 9:48  We sure do. Okay. Eva de Brune from Instagram, states and asks, I know you enjoy lifting weights. Is the reformer, like the Contrology reformer and mat and Wunda chair, etc., is that enough? Or do you recommend adding weights to the workout routine? I get asked a lot, is mat enough? Yoga, you are using your body weight. What is your take on this? So a couple of things. So I think the way that this is written, I'm not sure if she's asking if she should go to the gym and be lifting weights, or if she's asking if she'd be adding weights to your Pilates practice. Lesley Logan 10:21  I think it's go, I think it's the first, which is going to the gym and lifting weights in addition to your Pilates and your yoga. So here's the deal. Unfortunately, many of the studies that have been done on Pilates implies resistance has been done with Pilates isn't how I teach. Scientific studies cost a fuck ton of money. I actually, I've postponed a particular call with a group that does these studies multiple times, because it's tens of thousands of dollars. And the reality is, it's not even the best way of testing, because the more Pilates you do, the more muscles you bring in. So then who should we be testing? You know, there's just a lot of things. So what I can tell you is, my Contrology equipment has the heavy springs, obviously, that is resistance. That is absolutely resistance. Is it the same resistance training as heavy weights? I don't think we can say that it is. And so what I'm going to say is, I know you're very busy. I know you've got a lot going on. I would love to be able to say Pilates is all you need. I don't think it's true. Brad Crowell 10:21  It's all you need. Lesley Logan 10:21  I don't think it's true, but here's what I would say, pick a couple of days to do some heavy kettlebells. Pick a couple of days to do some barbell training. You don't have to hit. I'm not actually a big fan of hit for women over a certain age, it's can be really cortisol-inducing, but I would do some or do some heavy weightlifting. I would, also, because it's cool, because it's really cool to see what you can lift. It's really fun. The mat alone is epic and amazing for mobility and strength training. But even Joe realized that people needed more, and that's why he brought the springs in. And it's not that they need more because the mat isn't enough. It's because they need support to teach the body parts that don't have the access yet. So I actually use my weight training as information on where I have work to do, like my Pilates practice could support my weight training. I recognize like I have a balance issue when I do my single leg dead lifts. And so I use my Pilates Cadillac and my reformer to help train the things that I need so I can weight-train better. So to me, Pilates is actually so I can do my life. I'm sure there's a yogi out there who's gonna get pissed if I say yoga is not an not enough, but I'm gonna be really honest, depending on what your bone density is doing, body weight exercises alone are not necessarily enough, because you need to stress the muscles. So that is where I do think heavy springs can be compared to lifting weights, but they're just different things. Brad Crowell 12:40  Stress the bones. Lesley Logan 12:41  Stress the bones, yeah, you stress the muscles, which pull in the bones, which creates good stress on the bones, which creates good bone density. So, the other thing I would just say is your body is you got one, and the longer we wait to challenge it, the harder it is to support it. And so if you went in my routine, I do Pilates five to six days a week. I lift three to four days a week. I do yoga twice a week. I walk every day. And I do these things because I actually want to be 100 years old and still be able to travel and hike and be independent. So it's just like, what do you want in your future? And then how does your fitness regimen actually support what you want? Where are you at in your age group? Notice I didn't mention any cardio in there, because my Pilates practice has bouts of cardio in it. When I'm doing some of my yoga stuff, my heart rate goes up. When I do some of my lifting stuff, my heart rate goes up. So I'm challenging my heart in multiple ways. I don't need to spend time doing that, but I would, I would lift some weights, babe. And yes, your mat practice is essential. It's amazing. It's great for mobility and longevity. But I do not have a study in front of me that says it's enough.Brad Crowell 13:46  Right. Well, great question, Eva, thanks for asking. Lesley Logan 13:49  Yeah. You know, here's the deal. If someone wants me to do a study, I would love to do it. You have no idea how much money you actually need to do it, and you need people who know the method. I would want to have people who are beginners, people who are advanced. I want to have women, men, but then, you need to know the women's cycle and where they're at. There's so much information. And I think that until we have that, you got to do it all. Brad Crowell 14:10  You got to do it all. All right, well, stick around we'll be right back, because we're about to dig in to a really interesting conversation with a doctor, Dr. Sam Mandel. We're going to talk about. Lesley Logan 14:20  Ketamine. Brad Crowell 14:21  Ketamine. Special K, all the drug paraphernalia names. It's all the same stuff, y'all, it's just actually how you use it. And he went way deep on that, so I thought it was really interesting. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 14:33  Okay, welcome back. Let's talk about Sam Mandel. Sam Mandel is the co-founder and CEO of Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles, Sam and his father, who's also a doctor, opened KCLA in 2014 making it one of the first ketamine clinics in the entire country. Sam's passion for this innovative treatment stems from the profound and lasting positive impacts it has on people's lives. He believes ketamine therapy offers individuals the oportunity to rewrite their stories, overcome deeply ingrained mental patterns and step into a life filled with hope, resilience and joy.Lesley Logan 15:09  Okay, so when I got to talk to Sam, I was like, okay, I'm very interested, because we've had Dr. Kelly Bender on. Brad Crowell 15:15  Yes. Lesley Logan 15:15  She's a dear friend of mine, and I know that she does ketamine therapy and treatment, and we have a personal friend who we know has done ketamine treatments. She tried to do them on her own and. Brad Crowell 15:26  Yes, I mean, she was prescribed it, but she did them at home alone, which I thought, I didn't realize that was an option.Lesley Logan 15:32  And also, we have another friend where his wife has gone to the clinic like Sam's, and then he did on his own. And so anyways, so I just was very interested, because also, I think there's a lot of misinformation out there, and then when you have a death of someone who is abusing it with other things, then people get scared of something. And so I was really intrigued, because I think a lot of ways that people are affected of being it till they see it is they have past traumas or things going on in their brain that keep them from having the ability to be it till they see it. They have all the ideas. They've been listening this podcast. They have all this support, but then they have this stuff that's keeping them in their way. And so I really want to have Sam on because if ketamine can help them, then they need it to be it till they see it, right? So here's one thing I learned, ketamine is actually a psychedelic. I guess I didn't know that. I don't know what I thought ketamine was, so I thought that was really interesting. And it's really the only legally available psychedelic in the United States. It has the ability to dissolve these barriers that get in our way and help people get out of their own way. And so obviously, traditional talk therapy is really great. It can be helpful, but it says limitations. It's because our conscious mind gets in the way and makes it difficult to confront those deep seated issues. But ketamine acts in a different part of the brain than antidepressants can, and it allows these breakthroughs that aren't necessarily possible with other methods. And I think that's really cool, because we've heard of great stories of how ketamine can help people, like vets and different things, and like. Brad Crowell 16:57  PTSD.Lesley Logan 16:58  Oh yes, and it also like just kind of helps you take a different look at what the thing is. And I think in our own brains, we can judge ourselves for our actions we took or we didn't take in that situation, because it can be difficult to kind of forgive yourself about how you participated in an event that's affecting you, or how long it's, you just get in your head about it. And the way that ketamine can actually, when prescribed correctly and when done at a I think it's so cool that there's a clinic that you can go so, you know, you're safe, you know, I mean, first of all, it is safe. Brad Crowell 17:30  It's a controlled environment. Oh, yeah. Lesley Logan 17:31  It's a controlled environment, yes.Brad Crowell 17:32  I think that's half the reason why I stayed away from drugs was I didn't know what was going to happen, and if I knew something was going to happen to me and I was going to be impaired. Am I in a place where I'm going to be safe, right? So.Lesley Logan 17:45  Right. When I finally tried doing a little like micro dosing of mushrooms, it has to be at the house. There can be nothing going on. Brad Crowell 17:53  I can't have any obligations, no expectations from anybody else.Lesley Logan 17:59  Yeah, all these things we didn't even need to do that we could have just gone to Sam's clinic, and it's all set up in his clinic. Brad Crowell 18:05  Sam's clinic. Lesley Logan 18:05  Sam's clinic. It's called, not Sam's clinic. It's called, Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles, KCLA. So anyways, I just think that it's important for me to bring to everyone's attention here, that this is something that exists, and there are places that you can do it in a controlled way to actually get the true benefits from it. And because I've had so many people tell me that they have good benefits, I just didn't want negative stuff to keep people from doing it in the right way. Brad Crowell 18:32  Well, let's talk about why you might want to participate. Why would you be signing up to do a psychedelic? What I really enjoyed about Sam was him breaking it down from the perspective of a doctor, of what it actually is doing, how it's affected his patients. They've been around since 2014 so they're 10 years. So, they've done like, 30,000 treatments or something, you know, amazing. So he said ketamine helps people to craft the story around the trauma that they have. He said what happened is fixed, meaning the past. Whatever traumatic event happened, it's fixed, and it can never be changed. The past is the past, but our story about it can change at any given moment. So the event still happened, but the story we tell ourselves about that event that is something that we can change. And he said that ketamine really helps you dig in, because, well, first off, he said the most challenging aspect of trauma is that we feel like it can define us, and ketamine helps you see the traumatic events with a new perspective, detaching from the overwhelming emotions and allowing for more objective processing. The potential for ketamine to promote neuroplasticity, meaning your brain is creating new pathways, right? So, you know the expression, old dog can't be taught new tricks, right? Well, the whole idea there is that you're in a rut. You're in a groove, and it's really hard to jump out of that groove and create a new way of thinking, because we just default to what is easiest, and what is easiest is what we already know. So if we've defined for ourselves years ago that this thing equals pain, this thing equals fear, this equals whatever the thing is the story we tell ourselves, it is actually really hard to rewrite that story, and ketamine can help allow your brain to create those new storylines, those new pathways, so it helps bump out of that rut, which I thought was pretty cool. He said ketamine provides this kind of objective clarity. It can be extremely healing and transformational for people. Lesley Logan 18:51  Yeah, it kind of makes you go, should we all just go and do a ketamine treatment? Like, can it just be, like, the jump start you need? I don't know. It feels, I just, I feel like maybe it would help me get the all the journaling in the world that I've been doing, I might be able to speed up the process if I just did a treatment around the thing that keeps coming up.Brad Crowell 20:55  I think that's the idea. And I think also, even just the concept of that, it still feels taboo. It still feels like this scary thing that, great we've put it in a controlled environment, but I actually think it would benefit society if we normalized it. Lesley Logan 21:12  Yeah, well, we have to, first of all, we got to normalize mental health and that we all have different ways.Brad Crowell 21:17  Yes, same exact stigma as any kind of therapy, or any of that. This is a different form of therapy than talk therapy, than. Lesley Logan 21:25  I don't know. Maybe this is because we actually did do 14, 15 years in LA, and I knew people who were doing these things and doing controlled micro dosing of other things. And because my friend studies it, I know the benefits. And so to me, it doesn't feel taboo. Also, maybe we all could use a little bit of like, when you lived in LA, everyone had a therapist, and it was not unheard of for people to go, yeah, I'm gonna go get some ketamine therapy. We need to normalize all that for the rest of the country. Therapy is real. Do it. And also, if you can't get to, LA, do your research. But I would definitely use Sam's website for what you're looking at, as far as what the standard should be.Brad Crowell 22:07  Like the standard, which organization's the gold standard, you know, go look up Ketamine Clinics Los Angeles, and then compare that to a local clinic. Lesley Logan 22:14  Or and or go to LA. Brad Crowell 22:16  Yeah, or reach out to them and talk to them and ask them, you know, what they recommend. Lesley Logan 22:19  Yeah, they had some great stuff. So anyways, I think it's great. I think I could see where this could be really useful. And obviously it's not what you go do every Thursday. But if you've got -ish holding you back, what are you waiting for? Brad Crowell 22:33  Yeah, let's splash that -ish.Lesley Logan 22:35  I don't think that's what Sam wants.Brad Crowell 22:42  All right, stick around. We'll be right back with those Be It Action Items from Dr. Sam Mandel. Brad Crowell 22:47  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Sam Mandel? Borrowing Nike slogan, he said take action. Just do it. Honestly, planning and strategizing is important, thinking things through, figuring out who you are, what you want, and putting together a plan that actually matters. So, the just do it part could start with the planning, but I think it's so easy for us to have analysis paralysis. I was just having this conversation with someone over the weekend of yeah, I started to do the thing, and then I ran into a speed bump, and I had to make a choice. But to make the choice, I had to learn a whole lot of stuff, and to learn a whole lot of stuff, it was going to take me a lot of time. And then what did I do? Nothing, right? So sometimes maybe we can phone a friend and shortcut that maybe we can, I don't know, join a coaching group and shortcut that maybe we can call a doctor and shortcut that when it comes to the planning and whatever, but I think just getting out there and taking messy action, we talk about that all the time. Lesley Logan 23:43  And also, if you haven't yet listened to the interview, go listen to it, because you actually hear about how he and his father started the clinic, which was like just doing it. It was like a freaking closet with a tiny desk and everything. But I think as we plan different things, there's part of me that loves how I do things. I just go for it. And then sometimes you and the team have too many questions, and I'm like, I don't have the answer for that. I think we're gonna figure it out when we get there. And it doesn't always work that way. So I would say, if you are someone who has to know every single thing before you get started this Be It Action Item is for you.Brad Crowell 24:14  Yeah, there's just too many unknowns. So planning can stop you in your track. Lesley Logan 24:18  We've coached so many people who have made sure they have all their plans to a tee, and then something out of everyone's control comes in and fucks it all up. I've had friends who've literally planned exactly what they want their business do, and then literally, two months later, after they did everything to a tee, perfectly, exactly how they wanted, they spend the budget the right way, everything, then COVID happened, fucked it all up. Didn't matter. So, you know, I think there's a healthy balance. Brad Crowell 24:44  Yep. What about you? Lesley Logan 24:45  Okay, he talked about it's too easy to let perfection keep us from taking the steps that we need to take to get done who we want to be, so. Brad Crowell 24:51  Wait, say that one more time. Lesley Logan 24:53  It's too easy to let perfectionist keep, perfectionism keep us from taking the steps we need to take to get done who we want to be. So like. Brad Crowell 24:53  I think it would be better to say to become who we want to be. Lesley Logan 25:03  To become who we want to be, probably. So I couldn't agree more. And he said you're going to make mistakes, and it's really the only way you actually succeed in life. And he said, if you're dealing with mental health condition, he encourages you to call and so a lot of times perfectionism shows up as a sign of imposter syndrome that you're dealing with, but it could also be a way of you controlling things, which can be part of a mental health situation. And so.Brad Crowell 25:26  I mean, it's the same exact, here's a perfect example. If he's the gold standard and you don't live in Los Angeles, then you won't take any action, because you can't get to the best one, right? That is perfectionism. What you could do is take messy action, give them a call and say hey, I don't live there, but.Lesley Logan 25:44  What are my options? Brad Crowell 25:45  What am I, what should, what should we be talking about here and just see if there is a path or some kind of alternate option for you, wherever it is that you live. So. Lesley Logan 25:52  Yeah, I mean, we talk about perfectionism here a lot, and I would just say, don't get mad at the perfectionist tendencies that you have. Use them as a highlighter of where you have work to do, whether that is doing a controlled ketamine treatment to get over this perfectionist issue that you have, or it's how can I get a friend over here who I just envy that they just go for things to help me take a look at this thing that I want to do, because I can borrow a little bit of their imperfection and go-getterness and help you. You know what I mean? Brad Crowell 26:23  It's like a barrier. Perfectionism is a barrier that we throw up to keep ourselves from failure. Lesley Logan 26:33  It is a great excuse for not getting shit done. You are correct, sir. Like, I know a lot of people who will say, oh, it's because I'm perfectionist. That's why I haven't done it. And it's a really good excuse that people will just go, oh, well, that's true.Brad Crowell 26:45  For me, I think it's the other extreme of the concept of, oh, I don't set any goals, because then I can't be let down. If you heard someone say that, you would go, well, that's not how I want to live. Well, the irony is that perfectionism is just the flip side of that coin. We are inadvertently putting roadblocks in the way. We've got to make sure everything's good, because if we don't, then it's going to fail, right? Then I'm going to be let down. Lesley Logan 27:09  I really enjoyed him sharing his stories of how he built everything, because they had to be (inaudible). Even if everything they did around how they controlled the environment for ketamine was exactly to a tee, the way they had to open the business, grow the business, put things together, you know, they had to do it, trying to figure it out, because it didn't exist before. And so a lot of you who are listening have ideas. Brad Crowell 27:30  He said he went to a Radio Shack and bought a burner phone so that they could make sure they had some kind of a (inaudible).Lesley Logan 27:36  I think it was the Radio Shack that, like, is on Santa Monica Boulevard. Brad Crowell 27:36  No it's the other one. That one, you brought up, though. Lesley Logan 27:42  Yeah. I was like, but even if you just listen to this episode to learn from Sam, just getting started with what you have access to that helps you get going, we have to stop allowing ourselves to be like, well, I don't have enough information. I don't have enough of this. I don't have enough this to start, it's affecting your gifts from being enjoyed by the people who it's for. Imagine if Sam and his dad hadn't started in an office because it's not sexy enough, right? So anyways, just do it. That's what he said.Brad Crowell 28:09  Just do it.Lesley Logan 28:10  Yeah, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 28:11  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 28:12  Thank you so much for listening to our episode today. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Are you going to go to KCLA? Please let us know. Tag Sam Mandel. Tag the Be It Pod. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 28:23  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 28:25  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 29:07  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 29:12  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 29:17  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 29:24  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 29:27  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How can games make us feel something real? In this episode of The Corner of Story and Game, we sit down with Kelly Bender, Lead Narrative Designer, to explore the powerful fusion of storytelling and gameplay mechanics. From high-stakes boss battles to subtle emotional beats, we break down how narrative and game design can work together to create unforgettable player experiences.Kelly shares insights from his career, examples of strong emotional moments in games, and techniques designers can use to craft deeper player connections. If you want to enhance storytelling in your games, this episode is packed with valuable lessons and inspiration!

Dive into this final rewind episode filled with cool advice to fuel your growth. Join Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell for the final installment of their rewind series, where they revisit some of the coolest advice from past episodes. From redefining strength and outgrowing fear to setting boundaries and expanding your network, these insights will empower you to Be It Till You See It.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Building diverse connections to spark growth and innovation.Outgrowing fear by facing it head-on.Using boundaries to create space for fulfillment.Redefining strength and challenging limitations.Episode References/Links:Ep. 41 ft. Dr. Kelly Bender - https://beitpod.com/ep41Ep. 153 with Tanya Dalton - https://beitpod.com/ep153The Joy of Missing Out: https://tanyadalton.com/the-joy-of-missing-outEp. 141 ft. Chris Goodman - https://beitpod.com/ep141Goodman Coaching Website: https://goodmancoachinginc.comEp. 205 with Javeno McLean - https://beitpod.com/ep205Javino's Website: https://j7healthcentre.co.ukJavino on Instagram: https://instagram.com/j7healthjaveno If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS!Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramThe Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channelFacebookLinkedInThe OPC YouTube Channel Episode Transcript:Chris Goodman 0:00  I went through a really nasty divorce in 2015. That's putting it lightly. And I started dating my current wife in 2017. And of course, as we got serious, I started to have fears. What if we fall in love and get married and it blows up like the last one did?Lesley Logan 0:16  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:59  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It rewind series that we are doing. This is our last of the rewind episodes. Brad Crowell 1:06  Wow, can't believe we made it here. Lesley Logan 1:07  I know. And so, these are four clips. They're not the only amazing clips we could have picked, but they are the ones we chose for you this year. Brad Crowell 1:15  But they are the coolest. Lesley Logan 1:16  And that's what this is. This is the cool advice episode. Honestly, what happened is, okay, I was going through our entire catalog. I did this. I went through the entire catalog, and I basically was just like, oh, this person, go here, this one, go here. And we had two that didn't have like titles yet. And so it's kind of like, oh, I really like these two. All these two are kind of like this, right? So that's where the bold moments came from. So this cool advice was just like, I just fucking like these people. And how did we not already choose them yet? I don't know. So, I know we already have, like, a potpourri category, but we have another one, and this one's called Cool. So we're.Lesley Logan 1:17  This one's less generic than that, but still in there.Lesley Logan 1:52  Just don't, even, but there, but the people are anything but generic. Brad Crowell 1:55  It doesn't make the advice bad. It's just categorizing them. It's awesome. Lesley Logan 2:01  Okay, well.Brad Crowell 2:02  We're on it. Lesley Logan 2:02  You know what? This is like, Cool Ranch. Okay? Brad Crowell 2:04  It's Cool Ranch. It goes on anything. Lesley Logan 2:06  It goes on anything. Brad Crowell 2:06  That's right. Lesley Logan 2:07  And we're gonna talk about how to meet people. We're gonna talk about outgrowing fear. We're gonna talk about boundaries, which, by the way, this episode is dropping the day after Christmas, and you're probably feeling like you have some boundaries you need to set up or re-establish, or, I don't know, you probably thought about that yesterday, so that clip is definitely going to help you. That whole episode's epic, and we're gonna talk about redefining strength. Actually, this is it. We're talking about Javeno McLean because he's fucking cool. Brad Crowell 2:33  Javeno is so cool. Lesley Logan 2:34  He's so cool. I mean, my goodness, I watched it when I first asked him to be on the podcast. He has like 45,000 followers now he's like almost 700,000, like, slain and just inspiring the fuck out of people. So let's get into the cool episodes. Brad Crowell 2:48  I'm all about it. Here we go. Lesley Logan 2:50  All right, let's kick things off with Dr. Kelly Bender, Episode 41 about Finding the People in the Room Who Are Not Like You. Y'all, if you need friends in your life, you need a network, you need anything like this, this clip is going to give you a powerful tip.Brad Crowell 3:06  Yeah. And Kelly also talked about how to meet people. And she is a doctor, obviously, and she decided to start going to meetups where there were not doctors in the room. And that was on purpose. And I thought that was really kind of clever, even though it might not seem that intuitive. It was great.Lesley Logan 3:21  Well, because here's the deal, like, and I know we have a lot of Pilates people listening to this, so I want to make sure you do not take offense at this. But I love a Pilates conference. I really do. But I also have a lot more fun meeting people who have nothing to do with my industry, because I actually pick up on ideas that are unique and different or I. Brad Crowell 3:40  Well how you can support other people. Lesley Logan 3:41  Well, also it's how I can grow my own business, because I actually like what we've created wasn't just for Pilates people. It's for people who love Pilates. And so this advice is really important to like, kind of help you cast your net a little further out. Brad Crowell 3:56  Yeah, love it. All right, here we go.Dr. Kelly Bender 3:58  So one of the big things that I tell people the be it till you see it kind of a thing is putting things in your physical environment that make you feel happy or that make you feel that desired state. So one of the things is, I, I've got, you know, I've got my plants, I've got my crystals, you know, I've got all of the things that kind of just make me feel like I'm that person. And one of the biggest things that changed, I had some money mindset stuff. Being a doctor, being a care provider, I just like giving care for free, right? Like I just wish I could give care for free. It makes me feel so good, but that's not a sustainable business model. So what I did when I wanted to change how I felt about money was I took $200 bills and put it, I have this little kind of seashell type thing that I put them in with my Amethyst from when I was little on top of it, and it's right over here where I do my work. And I just have it there, and it's like money is around. Money is available. If I need 100 bucks, I could grab it from there, right? I don't, because I'm just putting it there, but physically putting the things in your space to remind you of what you want to grow and what you want to focus on, I think is really important. Lesley Logan 5:17  Oh, I love this. Dr. Kelly Bender 5:19  Yeah. And then absolutely like adding people to your environment, to your friend group, find the people who are not like you. That's what I would say. A lot of times, we tend to be friends with the people that are very similar to us, because they reinforce our beliefs and it makes us feel good about ourselves. But I would encourage you to find people who are very different from you, because they're going to have life experiences and they're going to have skill sets that are complimentary to yours, that you might need or you might benefit from. I started working with very, very, very, very high-net-worth individuals, and completely changed how I saw life, how I saw my own like, how I run my household. Just seeing how people run their household, how they run staff, helped me understand what was possible. Lesley Logan 6:21  That's so interesting. Dr. Kelly Bender 6:21  So I specifically went to meetups that were not medical related. So most of the people I knew who were doctors, they went to all these medical ones to network with other medical professionals. And I was like, first of all, I want friends who are not doctors. Second of all, I like, you're not going to become my patients. You're doctors. And third, I actually went to a lot of them that were, like, business-oriented, because I was like, I need friends or people who are in business to help me learn how to do this. And so, you know, I would, I would psych myself up, and I, this is not a thing that I love to do, so I really, you know, there was a lot of anxiety before everyone but I was like, you know, what's the worst that can happen? That's what I would tell myself. What's the worst that can happen? You're gonna go, you're gonna meet some interesting people, and if you don't like them, you never have to see them again. So that's the nice thing about meetups, is everybody is there to network. So it's different than going to a bar or something like that. Everyone knows that's the deal. So you go up and you tell your story, and you hand out business cards. Lesley Logan 7:25  All right, that was episode 41 and with Dr. Kelly Bender, we love her, and she had another episode with us, by the way. Go, just search for her name on the Be It Pod. You'll find it. Brad's going to come up with it at some point, but don't worry, we'll put it in the show notes, too. Now, we're moving on to Episode 141, I promise you that wasn't on purpose. We're gonna talk about outgrowing fear. So this episode with Chris Goodman could be seen as a business episode, but actually, I just really think is applicable to everybody, because fear keeps us from being it till we see it tenfold, 100% hands down, any other metaphor, cliche thing you'd say they're like, fear is what stops people. And one of the things I love that he said, that we're gonna get into, is how a decision rooted in fear will create results rooted in fear. And, oh, that stings, because we know it. Like, you know it's so true, when you do something out of fear, and then the thing comes and it's also just crap, because it was like, it's like, you planted the seed in fear. So it grew a fear plant.Brad Crowell 8:24  Yeah. And he kind of continued that metaphor, and basically said he had to outgrow the fear that he was in. Anyway, it's a very inspiring episode. Here we go. Chris Goodman 8:34  It's such a great point, because people tend to discount how much a decision rooted in fear will create results rooted in fear, right? And you see, I imagine many of your Pilates instructors are going through this right now that they've been so conservative in their pricing, even though they're bringing tremendous value, that they keep making decisions, like, backing away from the fear. And so they keep getting people who want to pay bottom dollar prices, right? And so they get clients who are not, maybe necessarily respectful of their time, or do the exercises they tell them to do, or whatever. I worked with lots of physical therapists, and this seems to be a trend that when we are in fear and we make a decision like, well, I can't raise rates because then I'll lose clients. They're definitely not doing anything to attract the people who want to pay a, for instance, premium, a luxury price for a luxury service. And so they don't get those people, those people go somewhere else, and it's sort of a race to the bottom.Lesley Logan 9:36  So is it possible to outlearn a fear? I think so.Chris Goodman 9:39  I genuinely believe it is. I'll pick on myself for an example, here, I went through a really nasty divorce in 2015, that's putting it lightly, and I started dating my current wife in 2017 and of course, as we got serious, I started to have fears, well, what if we fall in love and get married and it blows up like the last one did, right? I had to outlearn that fear. I had to outgrow, I think outgrow is probably a better term, and the only way I could do that was by facing it head on. So when the time came to let Lindsey, my wife, know how serious I was and how committed to this relationship was, I told her, I said, I think this is really going somewhere. And she said, well, that's tough because I'm not sure it is. And I have a lot of fears and I have a lot of doubt right now. I didn't even think. I just blurted it out. I said, well, that really sucks, because I'm in love with you. And talk about running into your fear head long. I mean, tell somebody that just told you they're not sure about the relationship, that you love them, and put your heart out there to get stomped on. And she looked like I threw paint all over her. She was just like, what? Like, I'm growing antlers. What? And this look washed over her face and her eyes welled up with tears. And she said, I'm in love with you too. I'm just terribly afraid right now. I'm so afraid, and so we use this as an example all the time when we do podcasts, because we're both afraid. She had had bad relationships, failed relationships, two relationships that went four years each. It's not like we have somehow strapped on this armor as coaches that allows us to walk through anything with no fear. Not the case. It is that we accept it as sort of a mission to run headlong into it and all the discomfort that comes with it and outgrow it anyway.Lesley Logan 11:32  All right, so that was 141 if you want to dive more into the fear topic, I hope you do. Now we're gonna go to 153 so we're not (inaudible).Brad Crowell 11:40  We're going backwards in time. Lesley Logan 11:41  We're going backwards in time. We're not, we're going forward. Like, a week later we had Tanya Dalton.Brad Crowell 11:45  Oh, yeah, 141, 153, yeah, you know.Lesley Logan 11:47  Yeah, it'll be two weeks. Tanya Dalton is incredible author, and she has several books out. One of them was the JOMO, which is like the joy of messing out. But this episode was about boundaries, and she is a mom, she's a busy woman, and we talked about the importance of boundaries, and she gave incredible example, a visual example, about how important boundaries are. And if you struggle with enforcing boundaries, I want to tell you, the resentment you're feeling is because of that, because we're the only people who can build our own boundaries, and then we have to enforce them, which can make us feel like we're being rude or demanding or whatever. But you have to understand that boundaries are very helpful. In fact, they're so helpful that Tanya explains all of that in this episode. Brad Crowell 12:33  Yeah, this is a great one tune in. Tanya Dalton 12:35  I think it's so poignant and helpful for people to understand why we need boundaries. If you were to imagine a school that's next to a busy road, there's no fence, the teachers are going to let the kids go out for recess, but they're going to say, like, stay close, right? Because we don't want them running out to the road, so the kids have to play close to the school and where the teachers can keep an eye on them. But if there is a school next to a busy road and they put up a fence, same school put up a fence around it, the kids can go to all the corners of the field. They can go play kickball over here, and play hide and go seek over there, and they can take advantage of the full field. And that's what boundaries do. It allows us to have this container that we can explore and we can play, and we can really enjoy ourselves fully, because we have that container, because we have that boundary, and then we can go inside and do the next thing, right? And that's what I love about boundaries, is when we have them in place, when we have good, healthy boundaries, it feels so good. It really does. Brad Crowell 13:35  Okay. I hope you enjoyed Episode 153, with Tanya Dalton talking about boundaries. So the next person is the epitome of cool, I must say. Mr. Javeno McLean, Episode 205. Wow. What an empowering, inspirational, incredible human he is. Lesley Logan 13:55  We talk about him all the time. Brad Crowell 13:57  You want to cry tears of joy? Watch his Instagram. It will bring you to tears every single time. It's just so fun to see how he empowers other people. Lesley Logan 14:06  Also, like we obviously can't put his entire episode here, because you're gonna go listen to his entire episode. Brad Crowell 14:10  Yeah, go back and listen to it on the pod. Lesley Logan 14:12  You gotta go listen to it. Because he really talks about how we can hold people back, how we can look at people who are different than us and think, oh, they can't do things. And he is actually redefining what is possible. And I think he's an inspiration for all of us. Sometimes we're like, I can't do this because of this. Oh, I can't do this because of this. I can't do this because of this. And, like, there's no because of this for him, he's like, oh, yet, here we go. Let's move this thing one more notch up and see what you can do. And, my goodness.Brad Crowell 14:12  I just think it's incredible that he takes the time and the money and the effort to literally create a space and buy all this equipment, and then he spends the time to empower people who need the support. And I think it is just so powerful.Lesley Logan 14:59  That they need the support, and also they need someone to believe in the possibilities Brad Crowell 15:04  For them. Lesley Logan 15:05  For them because.Brad Crowell 15:06  He provides that. Lesley Logan 15:07  I'm a Pilates instructor, and so people come to me and say, my doctor says I can't (inaudible) on my spine. And they're like, I can't do any of those things. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do this. And the way I look at bodies is like, okay, well, what can you do? And the way that Javeno is going to inspire all of us is like, really focusing on, like, let's redefine what you think your weaknesses and see what strengths are possible. And I don't know, get ready to fill chills up and down. I already have chills. I'm just having chills thinking about it. So here's Javeno McLean.Brad Crowell 15:37  Enjoy.Javeno McLean 15:38  One thing with me, Les, is always about normality and redefining boundaries. I've always been that person, and I think normality is the most powerful thing on this planet. And I realized a long time ago, no matter who you are, whether you're, no matter what your condition, elderly, disabled, whatever it is, all anybody wants us to be treated normal. And me, now, I'm a father of two young boys, and God forbid if anything was to happen to my little boys, all I want is the world to treat my babies normal. Don't feel sorry for them and don't pity them. Treat them normal. And years ago, Les, long story short, I was, I used to manage sessions. We call it the council, in the USA, you call it the government baby. I used to work for the government, and I used to do sessions all around the city of Manchester. And I had a I had people that worked for me. And I'm watching a session with this young guy, one of my members and staff, and he was teaching this young boy in a wheelchair. This young boy was, he was so bored. He was so, so bored. He was 19 and I watched the session, and he stayed in his wheelchair, Les, and but when the trainer went to go to the bathroom, this boy got up out of his chair, and he walked over to where the water and the drinks was, and he poured himself a drinks. So I came in the room, and I went crazy at him. I said to him, don't you ever let another man or another person dilute your power. Don't ever let nobody tell you that you're meant to be in that chair like that chair defines you. I said, I've just watched you for 20 minutes lift the two pound weights, big strapping rugby player boy, and he was lifting weights that he knows he can do more. He could get apart from his chair. He could walk, like a lot of disabled people, or a lot of people in wheelchairs. They're not always in the wheelchairs forever. A lot of them can actually get up and move. And I said to him, don't ever let nobody dilute your power and tell you that you have to stay in that wheelchair. So when the trainer came back in, I said, you know what? You go home. I said, I'm going to take the rest of this session, and for the rest of the session, I made him stand up because I knew that he could, and even if he couldn't, I said, I've got you, I said, you're going to push yourself. You're 19 years old. And I said, you got all this life to live. You can't live an attacked life by just being locked in your little box and letting the world and people tell you, you stay in your wheelchair. You do, I said, No. So I made him stand up for 20 minutes, and he did it. I made him lift the the bigger dumbbells, nothing crazy, but a little bit heavier than what I know we could do. And at the end of the session, this is what changed for me, Lesley, this is where it was a little bit awkward, where this little boy's parents was in the room and his dad was massive. His dad was huge. His dad was so big. And he walked over, and I thought, I don't know what's going to happen, Les, I don't know what will happen, because I didn't know. And he came over and he just started crying, and me and him hugged for about 20 minutes, him and his wife, and we cried, and he was explaining to me everything that they everything that I was saying to him people are scared to say to him because of his wheelchair. And he said they tell him every day that you're lazy, you can do more, but because it's mommy and daddy, he doesn't want to listen. And he said I was the first person to ever talk to him and treat him normal, because the world, when it comes to people that are disabled or elderly or vulnerable, they've got a thing where they don't want to offend and they don't want to tell him anything. So they said to me, I was the first person to treat him normal, and they could. They loved it. They loved it. And I said to myself on that day, because you're in a wheelchair while disabled, you ain't no different from me or you or anybody else. Lesley Logan 19:22  Was that epic or was it epic? Brad Crowell 19:24  I mean, this guy, I I'm so excited I can't wait to meet him in person.Lesley Logan 19:29  I'm just gonna go listen to this episode now. Brad Crowell 19:31  Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. Lesley Logan 19:33  Okay, so this is the last of our rewind series. Again, we want to know if you like the rewind series. If you want this to be an annual tradition. Of course, we'll pick different episodes. If you have topics that you would like us to do a rewind episode on. We want to know. Brad Crowell 19:47  Yeah or if there was an episode that you thought was super powerful and really impacted you that, we didn't cover, tell us that, and we'll go back. And they are definitely going to be those as well. So. Lesley Logan 19:57  We're not going anywhere. We are on the top 1.5% and I have a huge goal for this coming year, and it requires your help. Brad Crowell 20:03  It does so I share this episode. Lesley Logan 20:05  Share this episode. Here's my goal I'm gonna share with you. I want to hasten. Is that the right word? I want to quicken. I hasten the time to go from 1.5% to 1% and not because I'm not, I'm unsatiable When we go from 1.5% to 1% it means even more, like, thousands of people are, lives are being changed because of this podcast. We can't do that a lot. Brad Crowell 20:29  Well, not only that, it also allows us to put this pod in front of even more amazing guests. Lesley Logan 20:35  But also, yeah, get more guests, more amazing guests. If someone's like, you should get Michelle Obama on. And I'm like, yeah, so. Brad Crowell 20:41  We will. Lesley Logan 20:41  We will. Somebody explain to you how Michelle Obama says yes, probably money, but also .5%. I'm not asking you to get me to .5% next year, although you can. That's an Abraham Hicks thing, not asking for it right now, although it can be. But the more you share this episode, the more you listen to our podcast, the more reviews we get, we go from 1.5% to 1% we don't, you can't skip, we don't skip ahead and then we'll go to 1% and then a .5% we're here to this podcast until we reach as many people as when, when people start saying, I'm being it till I see it everywhere and like its own cliche, its own thing, that people just say all the time, then we will go, okay, hold on now that everyone's being it until we see it, what are we gonna do? But this mission is here to help change people's lives. And it's not because we want to change people's lives. We actually want you to. If you are being it until you see it, if you have all the answers and the help and the support to be it till you see it, then you change people's lives. And even if you don't, you don't have to be in your own business person to change people's lives. You can change people's life, maybe the parent and a spouse and a friend and a sister and a coworker and a neighbor. Brad Crowell 21:46  You can change your own life by being it until you see it. Lesley Logan 21:48  Well that, yeah, that's actually probably, change your life first, because then you can take people with you.Lesley Logan 21:55  I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 21:56  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 21:57  And you know what to do, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 22:00  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 22:02  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 22:44  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 22:49  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 22:54  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 23:01  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 23:04  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What is stress holding you back from? Where is the stress coming from? Dr. Kelly joins the podcast to talk about stressors that we may be able to control and how to shake out stress to live a fully healthy lifeIf you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to manage stress wellSigns your body is stressed outThings to identify stressors and de-stressUnder eating is contributing to your stress Are you creating a story to contribute to the anxiety? How to work through the emotions, so stress doesn't hold you back BIO Dr. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. As a graduate of Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine, Dr. Bender is trained as an expert in natural medicine. After graduating summa cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Pharmacology & Toxicology from the University at Buffalo and top of her class in medical school, she has continued her training in cutting edge therapies. Ketamine assisted therapy, regenerative medicine, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and peptide therapy have been important additions to her practice to truly help individuals heal. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health so they can live their lives to the fullest. Dr. Bender believes it is important to understand the entire person in order to facilitate healing and offers each patient an individualized treatment plan to enhance their vitality. Dr. Bender enjoys teaching others, whether it be her patients or students at various medical schools. While she misses the fall weather back home in New York, she is happy to make Los Angeles her home.Episode References/Links:The Big Leap by Gay HendricksDr. Kelly's website  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyUse this link to get your Toe Sox!ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host Brad and I are going to dig into the releasing convo I had with Dr. Kelly Bendor in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to this episode, go back, listen to it now. And then come back and listen to this one. Or listen to this one. And then see if you resonate the same things that we did in the last one. It's just fun. It's like a quiz. It's like Jeopardy in reverse. Anyways, we, all just be really all we're currently in.Jeopardy in reverse, love that. Love that. Maybe it's just like Jeopardy, in general? I don't know.I'll let you figure that out, listener. Ah, all right, love. So I'm in full disclosure. We are in Mexico. This has been pre recorded. (Oh, yeah). If you are seeing socials from me, it's because the IGs have now allowed you an iPhone to pre schedule your posts. So they were pre scheduled before social (Brad: because we are on vacay). Vacation! Happy 40th to me, happy 40th to Brad, we are taking, I don't know, how many days we're here? Like five days to be in Mexico. And like turn the phones, I am hoping that my phone is just off. Maybe I'll just leave it in a safe at the hotel room. (Brad: That would be amazing). Because also you take all the pictures anyway. So let's just be real.That implies I'm not turning mine off. But fair, fair.Oh, you know what? Let's see who can turn those off the longest because I already live on Do Not Disturb. So it's it's not hard for me to like just not have a phone because it doesn't do anything for me.Brad Crowell  I think that would be really challenging (you guys) that's a challenge!Lesley Logan  In like several episodes, we will give you the real deal, disclosure on it. If Brad did it or not? BecauseBrad Crowell  I didn't do it. Yeah.Lesley Logan  All right. So anyways, we are, we are in Mexico celebrating our 40th. And, and also, if you're listening to this in real time, it is March Matness. And I know you're thinking Lesley, you said a T. Not the DBrad Crowell  she's like weirdly saying that word.Lesley Logan  And let me just tell you. March Madness also happens like pretty fucking late in March and goes into April, which makes no sense to me. But I am going to be doing some bets because I have this new hobby of sports betting. Welcome to Vegas. But at any rate, I did say madness on purpose, because it is all about doing the Pilates Mat work. And you all are like, ah, the mat is so hard, it is (pretty hard). It's gonna it's gonna make you do it all on your own. And so because of March Matness, we put the mat flashcards on sale, we sure did. We shared it. So go to opc.me/flashcards Hey, check out that URL have sort short it isBrad Crowell  that's how we do, we're getting better.Lesley Logan  opc.me/flashcardsBrad Crowell  Yeah, that's how we do and then later this month, we are really excited. We're starting this new endeavor on the OPC site, where we're hosting workshops, and we're getting everybody involved, meaning your opinion is is needed in order to know what kind of workshops we should be hosting. But a couple times a year, like three, four times a year, we're going to be doing workshops periodically. And we'll bring in different guests and Lesley will host them herself and all things. So if you would like to be on the list for that just go to opc.me/workshops and you will be added to the waitlist. But at the end of this month in March, we're going to be hosting one. So stay tuned!Lesley Logan  We are going to be hosting one, you'll want to be on that waitlist to hear what it is. But also it'll be it'll involve me and the other OPC teachers, which is going to be so much fun. And I have a couple of workshops that I'm thinking of doing. So if you're wanting to be part of that planning meeting, you just want your opinion to be heard. Then opc.me/workshopsGotta be part of the planning.Yeah, that's that's that's how you can plan. All right. Before we get into Dr. Kelly Bender again. I fucking love her. (Yeah, she's awesome). I'm obsessed. It makes me want to have like a doctor hour, which is a little hard because they're not only allowed to say kind of so much stuff without like getting in trouble with being a doctor. However, we do have an audience question and what is that?Brad Crowell  So we had a question about Pilates equipment. And it was: does my Pilates Mat need to have a strap? You know if you if you if you know I'm a yoga guy, my my mat? Why would my mat have a strap except to carry it? Pilates mats are very different.Lesley Logan  That's so true.Brad Crowell  Yeah, what the hell, I was like a strap that doesn't make sense. But so Pilates mats are stiff and they like you know, you could have an actual strap like stapled to the very end of it that you can flip your feet underneath of it. (Yeah, yeah). Slip it up over your ankles.Lesley Logan  Let me think of like how many yoga straps I purchased and then never used because they're so annoying. They make...Brad Crowell  They're never quite long enough.Lesley Logan  Well, they're either the Velcro that goes and then you're correct.Brad Crowell  Hows that go?Lesley Logan  There are they're like they're kind of under your armpit but they're not but they areBrad Crowell   Yeah, they're never quite long.Lesley Logan  They're just I don't know I don't know who was the the fit model for that but wrong person.Brad Crowell  Yeah, fail blog.Lesley Logan  Yeah, so oh my god that was so old. You haven't said that in years. You used to say, y'all he'd say fail blog when we started dating and I was like, does that bother me?Brad Crowell  Are you kidding me? First time hearing this folks, this is news to BradLesley Logan  it's also, not it's just it was part of that whole back I mean we've been together for so long, like almost this fall is 10 years so like, wow, well that we met we met 10 years. Yeah, that's true. But back then you all, you would say hashtag whatever, hashtag this and so failed blog just made me think of like saying hashtag goals like just in general you would just like say hashtag (Brad: hashtag class)anyway (oh my god) dag me with a spoon.Okay, that is okay, you can say that. So anyways, um, so this is a great question, I get this, I actually get this often. And I wanted to talk about it because one of my elevate members was struggling with her roll up. And she was like, I don't like this. I like this. I like this. And I was like, well, she doesn't have a strap. So like if she didn't like any of those things. But then she got a strap, and it changed everything. And so here's the deal, a travel Pilates mat that rolls up like as foam, it's like squishy squish. That having a strap on it is going to do nothing for you, except for help you carry it so. But if you are on a firm mat, so like I have an affiliate link for ControlLogix. Everything I actually have an affiliate link for everything the bounce buddy makes. So hit us up if you want it. But a Pilates mat that is actually pretty firm has a strap on it or your Cadillac can have a strap off the edge. You you do want a strap, I'm just gonna say it. If you can't afford that right now, don't have the space for that right now then please know that you want to have a magic circle. Because you need something to help you activate your seat. Activate your Thass to help you do a roll up. All right, it's just what you need. Now, can you do a roll up without a strap and automatic circle and not move around? Yes. Hi, I can do that. I've been doing this for 20 years. So, So can I help you do it? Absolutely. Do I want to do that was one of the OPC workshops, yes is on that list.Brad Crowell  There you go get on that list. opc.me/workshops. Lesley Logan  But does your mat need to strap. It's, I don't want if you are not doing Pilates because you don't have a mat with a strap. I don't want that to be a rule for you. But if you can see...Brad Crowell  Yeah, it's not gonna stop you from doing it. But it'll be, it can benefit your practice.Lesley Logan   There's two exercises you're gonna use a strap for, there's two. So it is only two exercises. However, it is the difference between being able to access like 17 other exercises. So the better your roll up is with a strap, the more you're gonna love open like rocker, the more you're gonna love teaser, the more you're gonna love control balance often, like there's just a lot of things that have in a strap helps teach you how these connections. So what I would say is if you can set aside some bucks every week, so that you can save up for a mat. Use our affiliate link get a little discount a little moment. And, and then watch your mind get blown with what happens with a strap.Brad Crowell  Yeah, I think someone just texted us a a fun savings idea of saving one (for my brain) $1 on week one, $2 and week two, $3 and week three, etc, etc, etc. And by the end of the year, week 52 You're saving $52. And I because I'm a math junkiem nerd loser guy, I went on my Google Sheets and I added them all up. It ends up being like more than 1300 bucks that you're saving over the year.Lesley Logan  Just so you know, you could buy two mats with that with a strap. Yeah, my affiliate link you could.So that doesn't include tax and shipping. But you guys, what I would just say is if Pilates is something that you want to be part of your life, buying an expensive mat, it may sound weird, but it's the same as like buying a weight bench.Brad Crowell  Right? Yeah. Or like a set of weights. You know, that could be a couple 100 bucks.Lesley Logan  Oh my god, Brad, do you know how expensive weights are. I know you just bought those like little little chips, the little chips traverse and you got it somehow somebody definitely missed a zero in those. However...Brad Crowell  I know I looked at the five pounds that were 35 bucks for two set of fibers.Lesley Logan  Yes, I was looking for these like these weight things where you could adjust the weight without having to like be dramatic about it. They went from $300 to $700 during the pandemic and I was like someone is ripping me off. So it's all it's all relative, you guys. It's what you value and if you want Pilates as part of your life forever, which I hope you do, then get them out with the strap. Hit the link below. Alright, that's what I got to say about that.Brad Crowell  Love that, all right well...Okay, maybe now let's talk about Dr. Kelly bender.Lesley Logan  I feel like you're about to announce and now... Brad Crowell  In the left corner (we have) as an expert in natural science Kelly benders passionate about helping individuals achieve optimal health and finding Healing Within. She's happy to call Los Angeles her home where she you can find her teaching others and working at her clinic, Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center, which she has been expanding. And she's had all sorts of amazing opportunities now. Really cool.Lesley Logan  It's so cool. Yeah, I've known her for so long. I've known her for years. And we did Cambodia with her. Brad Crowell  Yeah, she came to Cambodia with us. Yes. Yeah. So she's a friend. Lesley Logan  Yeah. Oh, we're besties. She's even on my like little top. You know, the quick link on the texting.Brad Crowell  Oh, yeah, the pins. She's, that's what it's called (There you go). Well, I really enjoyed that episode. In fact, I listened to it twice. I thought it was you know, I listened to it the first time through. And like, it's just so full of detail that it just like kind of went over like past me it just like, wow, you know, and I thought... (I had to listen to it twice) So I went back, I slowed it down and actually, like, listened to each of these things. And what I loved was the idea that we might not even know that we are under stress. We might be saying, Oh, no, I don't have any stress. I'm good. You know, I'm totally good. But we also, which I don't know, I'm not I'm not actually talking about me. I'm speaking for a friend. Right now.Lesley Logan  Also, I'm just thinking about the meme that we did not send to your cousins when they said, I'm having a second... They're having a second child and you're like, Jason, this was from shits Creek, and she's like, I'm fine. I'm fine.I'm good. I'm so good. And her hair is like exploding. She's stressed it up.Brad Crowell  Because we are so often disassociated from our own bodies. Meaning we don't know what we're feeling. We don't like understand when like, we're being impacted by stress, we might not even realizing that we are experiencing signs of stress. Okay, so I compiled a list and went back through and I literally wrote down everything that she just ticked off because it went past like, super fast. Here are some signs that you may be under stress. Skin issues could include rashes. GI issues could include chronic diarrhea, could be constipation. You could actually have...Lesley Logan  You need to say this like a like a commercial for drugs.Brad Crowell  Yeah, right. Experiencing skin issues, rashes, chronic chronic diarrhea, constipation, GI issues, sleeping cortisol, hormones weight gain, then don't take this if you're allergic to it. Yeah.Lesley Logan  If you're allergic to stress your brain is shrinking hormones waking, irregular menstrual cycles, spotting, headaches. Call call your doctor now to see if stress is good for you.Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So (we don't watch like we watch like one show. And they every commercial does drugs). I know.Brad Crowell  Alright, anyway, GI issues. It could be diarrhea, constipation, you could actually not have hunger. So if you wake up in the morning, and you're like, oh, yeah, you know, I don't, I don't eat in the morning because I'm never hungry. Actually, that could be a sign that you're under stressed.Lesley Logan  When I taught in LA this was like a badge of honor with my ladies are like, Oh, I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm like, cuz you're stressed case.Brad Crowell  Yeah you're sleeping, if you're not sleeping well, or you're not sleeping consistently, that will put your body under stress, your cortisol levels will actually increase when your body is under stress. And that will actually lead to the brain shrinkage.Lesley Logan  This is crazy. Your brain gets smaller.Brad Crowell  Yeah, so So I feel like I need to go back and re listen to that part because she was talking about cortisol versus not whatever it's supposed to be in. Anyway, if you're under constant amount of stress, you're pumping your your brain with cortisol, and you can eventually get used to it. You should not be like flooding your brain with cortisol, it actually you know, is it's not good for you.Lesley Logan  Everything in moderation, including moderation. Like your like your a little bit of cortisol can be really good for you. It's like the way to like get you to like run away from a fucking leopard.Brad Crowell  Well, that's what I mean. But if you you can't be continuously under that, that space or it won't be doing its function that it's supposed to be (correct). Yeah. But wait there's more, hormones could be effective. You know, with by stress, weight gain, irregular menstrual cycles, spotting, headaches, muscle tightness, particularly your shoulders, or maybe your jaw. This is when I didn't realize that I used to do this a lot. When I rode my motorcycle. I would clench my jaw because I'm like, so focused and it's stressful, lack of hunger. I already mentioned that sleep and then as specifically with sleep changes in your mood.Lesley Logan  Yeah, so y'all how stressed out are you?Brad Crowell  Yeah. And what these all are, are signs that you are experiencing stress, okay? And we often will just say like, oh, no, I'm not stress, I just don't sleep very well.Lesley Logan  Well, also, like, you know, something that people don't realize is that the pandemic was an acute cause of stress for the entire world. And back in 2021, we brought in my somatic therapist to actually check with our agency members about like, are you still living in that stressed out like, survival mode zone?Brad Crowell  Yeah, it was weird because it went way longer. Acute means like, it's short. And yeah, but like, it wasn't it like became this longLesley Logan  Turned it as a chronic thing. And so it's like, it's so good to be able to go into that third gear that survival mode gear, because, hello, you should survive with that. But so many people that we were around, I could tell we're not they're not getting out of that gear. (Brad: Their not down shifting). Yeah, that's thank you for doing that. Brad. I don't actually know what it means. I've never stick.Um, we brought her in, because so many of the people that we were coaching, were not aware of the stress. And I think that if you're listening to this, if any of these things sound like oh, I've been going through that. It's possible that just like a frog in the water, to slowly turning the heat up. That stress was like a little bit and a little bit in a little bit and a little bit, but you didn't realize it because you've just been in so long. And so it's so (Brad: do you realize) that you're under stress Brad Crowell  And you are a frog in a pot of boiling water? Do you realizeLesley Logan  okay, so I'm gonna tell you what I loved.Brad Crowell  Yeah. Moving along.Lesley Logan  If you could be a fly on the wall of this room. So I actually this blew my fucking mind. Okay, it blew, my mind was blown like emoji. She said, what you're feeling and what you're attributing that to may not actually be correlated at all. And I'm actually going to tell a little story that actually goes back to what you loved. So let me just finish this thought. And I'll tell the story. Yeah. So she said, often, we come up with a reason to figure out to read, like, we try to reason why we feel a certain way. And we like take signs around us. Oh, that must be it. And that's Oh, Eureka. I know why I feel this way. It's that person over there. (Right). And so I was taking one of my clients, and she told me she's like, that she got a massage at my favorite place to validate massage. And she's like, Yeah, I'm going back for a facial because I gotta talk to them. But there's something wrong with their, their sheets, because I got I broke out on the left side of my face. And I said, you don't think that has anything to deal with, like, you're not living in your own home, you're in a rental that someone just told me broke into, you have been like, had to like, raise your rates in your business, shift everything. You don't think that this left side of your face breakout has anything to do with just like stress. So she...Brad Crowell  flash, flash touching,Lesley Logan  touch, and then she kept touching your face. She kept touching it as a second to your face. Because you're gonna make it worse. she asked me later, she's like, found the culprit. It's the sheets in the rental house that I'm in and I'm like, yeah. Anyways, physically, so but I also like, it's also the stress of what your living situation is right now, guys. So the point being, she decided to reason that this breakdown in her face must have to do with the sheets of a massage, would it? And then she's like, No, it's a sheet of where I'm sleeping. It's like, actually, it's the life that you're currently in, in this exact moment. But we tried to like come up with an answer, because that's what human beings want to do. We want to have an answer. And so what she was saying, and this is so important, is like, I think I had I think I learned this the hard way. I would have stomach issues after like, Oh, can't eat that thing.Brad Crowell  Oh, sure. I mean, I was gonna talk about this.Lesley Logan  And then we did a bunch of research and it's like, well, actually, that stuff can live in the body for 21 days. So it might not have been from what you did at that momentBrad Crowell  It could have have been from literally three weeks. So what the hellLesley Logan  And then once I found that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? (Yeah). What in the world? So the point being is that she's like, when stuff is coming up, try not to attach it to any other thing around you. And like, because it might not have that thing you might actually be, you might literally change jobs. Brad Crowell  she was, she was talking about, like, the example she used was like going into work, when you go into work, you may feel stressed. And then you're like, this job is causing me stress, when in fact, it may have nothing to do with the job, it may have to do with the timing of something else. And your body is now deciding to do you know, to notify you. But then we associate it with stress. And then she said, what the crazy part is, is is a learned behavior. So you might say, my job stresses me out, but it wasn't your job that stressed you out. Then, a week later, when you're no longer stressed, you now have learned that your job stresses you out. So every time you show up at your job, you're stressing yourself out even though there's the actual thing that caused that stress is gone. Lesley Logan  It's insane. We can, our minds are so powerful.Brad Crowell  I mean, it's, it's like Pavlov's dogs with the you know, where the dog smells would water when they heard the sound. Yeah, and then they're like, food must be coming. We can we can do that to ourselves. It's kind of amazing.Lesley Logan  I mean, it's pretty crazy. Well, but that goes back to like the guy like you can use this for good y'all like there was that guy who he was a prisoner of war. And he pictured himself playing golf at his local golf course every day. And he pictured himself golfing every single hole and, and hitting a par. And after four years of being a prisoner of war, which y'all just like think about what four years of that would do you like deconditioned all these things he gets home and his friends like what are you gonna do? He's like on play a round of golf. And they're like, really? Do you have this thing for that? And he did a par because his mind was so conditioned that I should have par at this course he did it after for four plus years about golfing. The author of The Sun Does Shine, I'm so sorry. I don't remember his name. But he was a prisoner in on death row for decades. He like he got through that because of his mind. In his mind, he would like he was married (Anthony Ray Hinton) Yes. Oh my God, he's so powerful. He is so inspiring. But he like he sat there and like picture a movie in his life where he's married to Halle Berry. And then there was a moment where he like, was married to Sandra Bullock because the speed anyways, it's just like, you can do amazing positive things with your mind. Or you can do negative things with your mind and what Kelly was saying Dr. Bender was saying is like, try not to make reason around the things that are not feeling good. Because that you may be causing yourself more stress than you actually ever need to have. Like, wouldn't it be okay if we were just okay not knowing why that was happening? Thar's gonna stress the perfectionist out. Brad Crowell  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It action items. What bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your combo with Dr. Kelly bender?Lesley Logan  Well, she had one and it was move your body. Well, she actually said SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE your body. Shake it all the time. Do do doBrad Crowell  Senora. Lesley Logan  Yeah. Sorry, guys. We went to the Mayfair. And as our new ritual is over at the Mayfair and they do with the conga line. Yeah, we get up and we dance around the whole restaurant. And it's to that song anyways. But she really did say like, you need to shake your body because shaking your body gets you back into your body. It's a great way to release stress. And every time I see our dogs, like everyone smile, like they just like, shake that like, you know, like,Brad Crowell  oh, yeah, just making sureLesley Logan  If you're on YouTube watching YouTube, then you saw dododo,they do like, Have you ever watched them?Brad Crowell  They just flap thei ears, they shake, you know, they like to stimulate basically.Lesley Logan  You can see the energy go from the head to their tail. Like they just like, let it go. And we're like, let me keep it in. And I'm just gonna hold it in here. And I'm gonna keep it here. And I'm not going to share with anybody.Brad Crowell  Right? Yeah, I mean, definitely. It basically it's like a it's like a quick reset. And she was talking about how she leaves herself a few minutes between each client to dance and move and you know, actually, you know, push her the reset button for herself too. And that's something that's easy and free that we can take advantage of in our lives. Basically that, the, this is so funny because you know, not funny, but this is very connected to what Lesley does, Pilates, because movement releases stress. Yeah.Lesley Logan  And also you guys, when you do breath work, that's a great another place to also shake it out. Just like she was just showing you like just shake. Just yeah, like just take your hands. I'm doing it in front the camera. Yeah. So how are you gonna use that tip in your life?Brad Crowell  Where are you going to shake?Lesley Logan  Where are you going to shake, shake, shake Senora shake it all the time. Anyways, I'm and this is just such a fun. I really wanted to have this for a long time because I just I know, I know ladies listening and a few good men like stress is real. And it's okay to have it from time to time. I hope what you got from this episode is you don't need to actually figure out the reasoning behind it. You can just go I'm stressed out right now. And you could shake it out. And then you can take some actions to do some things that will actually feel good. So what are those things that make you feel good? That's my, my I'm adding to the Be It Action Item. What makes you feel good? I love it. (Yeah). All right. I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan  Thank you so much for joining us.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!     Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.     Brad Crowell  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.      Brad Crowell  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.      Lesley Logan  Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.Brad Crowell  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What is stress holding you back from? Where is the stress coming from? Dr. Kelly joins the podcast to talk about stressors that we may be able to control and how to shake out stress to live a fully healthy lifeIf you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to manage stress wellSigns your body is stressed outThings to identify stressors and de-stressUnder eating is contributing to your stress Are you creating a story to contribute to the anxiety? How to work through the emotions, so stress doesn't hold you back BIO Dr. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. As a graduate of Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine, Dr. Bender is trained as an expert in natural medicine. After graduating summa cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Pharmacology & Toxicology from the University at Buffalo and top of her class in medical school, she has continued her training in cutting edge therapies. Ketamine assisted therapy, regenerative medicine, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and peptide therapy have been important additions to her practice to truly help individuals heal. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health so they can live their lives to the fullest. Dr. Bender believes it is important to understand the entire person in order to facilitate healing and offers each patient an individualized treatment plan to enhance their vitality. Dr. Bender enjoys teaching others, whether it be her patients or students at various medical schools. While she misses the fall weather back home in New York, she is happy to make Los Angeles her home.Episode References/Links:The Big Leap by Gay HendricksDr. Kelly's website  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyUse this link to get your Toe Sox!ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan  Hi, Be It babe. Okay, this is so fun. So what is actually really cool about this episode is I actually just got to see my guest in real life at the time of this recording, at the time this is coming out. It, I have no idea when that was. But what I'm so excited about is that Dr. Bender is one of the most amazing, smartest women that I ever know. And I love to chat with her about things I've heard on a podcast or a study I've read or whatever about medical science, all these things, and then she explains it because y'all there are so many things that can affect as being it till we see it. Like there just is and I know every once in a while I pop in a medical thing either to advocate for yourself or just information and that this is one of those episodes. So this episode, we are going to talk about stress. And we could have probably talked for hours, hours and hours about stress, signs and symptoms of stress, what stress is. We really did dive in, in a way that I think you can ac... you will actually use this right now in your daily life today. But I am telling you, I'm so fascinated about what came out towards the end about what can cause stress, and it is insane. And, and also like holy crap, we might be causing ourselves more stress, just trying to reason with ourselves. So what I hope you get out of this is that one, I want you to be it till you see it in all the ways in life that you can be. And that could actually like the if you're a perfectionist and overachiever that can actually cause some stress. But if you be it till you see it as a person who is achieving what you want, having the life you live with ease, ease in your life, that's this is the be it till I see it that I'm trying to do is have those things with ease. What a great, what a great way to practice being it till you see it is a no way of dealing with your stress in your body and in your life. And so you might be like, "Ah Les, my life is good. I got things going on but not stressed out." Please still listen, because a) there's some things you can share with people, right? I've got a few coaching calls this month, where we're really talking about ways that people can handle the stress that they're going through, because there's no way to avoid what they are going through. So how do we handle it. And also, you might not actually re... it might be recognizing that the signs and symptoms that you're feeling are because of stress, because you may have been going through them for so long. So I cannot wait to hear your takeaways about this. I'm really, really excited to have this guest back. If you have not heard her original episode, we talked a lot about hormones go back to that. Then when we ended, we had another topic that I'll have to bring her on with, that I'm really excited about so my team will remind me we'll bring her on because well she has a wealth of knowledge, she is the most smartest fucking woman I know. And there are several things in our bodies, in our lives and what makes us up as a human being that can affect us doing the things that we want to do in this lifetime that are that we are not aware of and if we are aware of them, we can take actions to allow and make accommodations for that. So my loves, here is Dr. Bender.Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.All right, Be It babe. I'm so excited because I have one of my besties in life. And we've had her on the podcast before. So you'll reme... you'll recognize her voice if you've been a longtime listener. And almost first time caller, but y'all don't call in so. But I have Dr. Bender here and we, I was chatting with her on her first episode with us. And we didn't even get into stress. We got into all the thing about hormones and was amazing. But one of the things I talked to her a lot about is stress and something I have noticed in coaching a lot of businesses and also just teaching people Pilates in general, is that our goals tend to stress perfectionists out like crazy. So, so then these perf... so if you're a perfectionist, hello, I'm recovering one. And so I see you and I have I totally understand the stress of like your goals and like all the things you want to do in this life. And unfortunately, like some stress is very good. Like it's good for your bones. It's like good for a diamond, making a diamond, but it also can cause us some crazy trauma, stress, all the stuff that's redundant stress and stress. But Dr. Bender, welcome back. I'm so happy to have you here. And I, before we get into like why, you know, stress is bad, can we or can be bad? Can we talk about like who you are and what you actually do in the world? So people who don't know you yet can hear how you're so amazing.Dr. Kelly Bender  Absolutely. Well, thank you for having me back. I'm really, really excited to be here. And I think it's good timing to be talking about stress, and how that affects our body. And you know what our body actually does with the stress. So I am a Naturopathic Medical Doctor, I live in Los Angeles, California, I have a clinic here called Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center. We're expanding and we're growing, which is exciting. And at our center, we really look at people as a whole, right? We're looking at your hormones and your gut and your mental health and all those things. We're looking at your nutrition and your habits and your diet and you know, all the different pieces and how that comes together to create health or disease, right. And so we do lab testing and things like that. I've over the last several years also gotten into a lot of mental health, with patients do some psychedelic work with patients, we refer out for lots of different options for people. And so stress over the last few years in the pandemic has really become a focus of mine, partially because that's just what everyone is needing right now.Lesley Logan  Right. I mean, like, I think we're all a little bit on an interesting level of stress. And especially when you live in LA, there's just the daily stress of surviving life in a city that drives that should be on strains. But then, like you've layer on a pandemic of uncertainty and all those changes and all that stuff. And something that I admire about you is like I've we've known each other for so many years, and I've watched you grow your business, as you mentioned you're expanding. And, you know, it's not that you don't ever have stress in your life, but you somehow know how to manage it well. And I think that is something we'll have to get into. But can we talk about like what maybe like maybe some people are so stressed out they don't even know what non stressed out is like, can we talk about signs and symptoms that you're stressed out just for the people who might be like, "I'm not stressed." And they're like, act like their families like, "She's so stressed."Dr. Kelly Bender  Yeah. It's so interesting, I had this conversation with a friend of mine who's also a doctor. And so often we've been habituated to feel like this is normal, right. And stress can show up in a lot of different ways for a lot of different people. Sometimes it shows up as skin conditions. So when people are really stressed out, sometimes they can have, you know, like rashes or skin issues. GI symptoms, right are really, really related to stress oftentimes, and so it can range anything from chronic diarrhea, constipation, not being hungry. This is like one of the big things. I have women come in all the time, and they're like, "I wake up, and I'm not hungry, and I don't have to eat till two o'clock." You're not hungry, because your body is in fight or flight, not rest and digest, right? Even when you're sleeping, you're stressed out, we'll talk about cortisol and all those hormone components, but you're not hungry, because your body is stressed out and isn't able to digest and your digestion is not running smoothly. It can have hormone, you know impacts. So anything from weight gain, irregular menstrual cycles, you know, spotting things like that? headaches, muscle tightness, right, so like clenching your jaw is a big one that we just don't always think about, because it's so habitual, right, tight shoulders. It's really interesting to me, when patients come in, they really don't even know that they have these symptoms, because they're so dissociated from their body. And this, I would say, is a really difficult symptom to pinpoint yourself. But it's probably one of the bigger, simpler things, right? People are so out of touch with their body, they're literally dissociated from it. So they say, "Oh, I don't feel pain. Oh, I feel fine." And you start digging a little bit more, and they're not registering their discomfort, but it doesn't mean that their body isn't experiencing pain, or abnormalities or things like that. They're just so stressed. They don't ...Lesley Logan  Yeah, it's like, our, our bodies are so good at protecting us that it can protect us from ourselves. Like, it's such a crazy thing to think about. But I some of those symptoms you brought up I find, you know, I think so many people can go, "Oh, I just ate something bad" or "Oh, I'm allergic to that," or "Oh, what I wonder what I ate because it didn't sit well with me." And it's like, okay, how long because when I was with my stomach issues, what I realized is actually, sometimes the things that you're upsetting your stomach are from, like three days ago, so it's so it's actually not you just ate in this moment. So if you're having that reaction, it might actually be because you're stressed.Dr. Kelly Bender  Well, and then, you know, some of the biggest ones are poor sleep, changes in your mood. So, you know, people don't always know I think I think a lot of people know, like, "Oh, I'm not sleeping well, and I'm worried about something." But sometimes I have patients come in and they're like, "I'm I'm not stressed at all. But I'm not sleeping well. And I'm fatigued. And I have to rely on coffee to get up in the morning." And you know, all those all those things?Lesley Logan  Yeah. Yeah. And I I also wonder, like we think I think we are also thinking like stress is something that is easy to pinpoint. We know why we're stressed out. It's because there's something stressful happening in the moment as opposed to like, chronic, like, just living in an uncertain world for two years with your kids at home and having to change, you know, your entire lifestyle, and then change it back and then be unsure if you did it right. And you know, all that stuff. So like, all that stuff is just like, it's almost like a little layer. It's like a warming a frog up and up on a pot. You don't even notice that you you're hit stress too much. Can stress can stress, um, is there any kind of stress that's actually okay for us to have? Are we supposed to like try to be zen all the time?Dr. Kelly Bender  Great question. So I think the word stress is really interesting. And I use that sometimes with patients, especially when when I'm talking about hormones or GI function. I'll say like, oh, there are these stressors on the body. And patients immediately when they think of stress, think of like mental emotional stress or anxiety. And while while there's probably some benefit to short bursts of even mental emotional stress, right? If something is stressing you out from a mental emotional standpoint, to me, that's an indicator that that's something that's important to you. And maybe that's a boundary, right. So if you're stressed out about something, maybe that's because somebody's pushing your boundary and really, you should be holding that boundary. Right. Or, you know, there's other benefits to sort of acute stressors. Same thing with the body. So, you know, with exercise, I have a lot of women that come in more pre pandemic than then post but pre pandemic, I would have a lot of women come in, who are having hormone issues, trouble losing weight, fertility issues. And one of the stressors that we talked about, one of the stressors on the body was, they were actually working out too much. They would be doing like intense intense workouts 5 6 7 times a day, right or seven times a week, you know, sometimes doubling up doing like 10 in a week. And they weren't fueling their body enough. So they were also like in a calorie deficit. And those are actually stressors on the body. Fasting is a stressor on the body, hold is a stressor on the body. And those things have benefit when you do them in particular ways for short amounts of time. Right? (Lesley: Right.) So ...Lesley Logan  Like I'm gonna do a two minute cold shower in the morning, (Dr. Kelly Bender: Right.) but I'm not taking, I'm not I'm not sitting in a cold pool for the day.Dr. Kelly Bender  Exactly, exactly. And so human bodies actually do really well, when we have these little stressors, right? When we when we get not even little stressors, but acute short acting stressors, right? Adrenaline comes from our adrenal glands. That's why it's called adrenaline. The other name for adrenaline is epinephrine. Right? So those are the same molecule. You know, you see on movies, somebody has like, like, has died. And they take the EpiPen, and they like jab it into their heart, right? And they give them adrenaline and then like ... adrenaline, right? Adrenaline is this fast acting, short lived molecule in your body, where if somebody cuts you off in traffic, or you see a bear in nature, you have this flood of this hormone that's supposed to help you get very focused, very clear, very present. And get out of that situation. That's adaptive, right? But if you are constantly living in a state of these, these sort of, you know, there's bears all around you and you're living with these bears for 10 years, and the bears are actually your bosses at work, but you have that same response. Then instead of epinephrine or adrenaline being the main driver, cortisol becomes the main driver. And this is, this puts like weight around our middles cortisol, prolonged stress of any kind, whether it's emotional, or physical stressors, actually shrinks our brain. (Lesley: Stop it.) It's crazy. It actually shrinks our brain like the white matter in our brain. They've done imaging like an actually atrophies certain parts of our brain, specifically, the ones that are associated with like memory, emotions, some of our ... (Lesley: This is crazy.) functioning ...Lesley Logan  So it's that like I mean, I don't put you on the spot. But like, is that what's happening? Like, is that a correlation to Alzheimer's and dementia going up? Like as we don't know that yet?Dr. Kelly Bender  We don't, I don't know that we know that specifically, I would say maybe dementia, and certainly some of some of what we experience as older people. And a lot of my patients in their 40s and 50s are exhibiting signs and symptoms that we would associate with like early Alzheimer's and early dementia, but it's not it's just the cortical atrophy. Alzheimer's and dementia are multifactorial, there's probably so now they're calling Alzheimer's, type three diabetes. There's a ... yeah, (Lesley: That's so crazy.) crazy. So there's a really big metabolic component with sugar and sugar utilization in the brain, which probably does stem from in some part, cortisol and stress hormones. Because cortisol changes how your body metabolizes sugar, it stores fat, you're less likely to be able to utilize sugar well. So there there absolutely may be a correlation and they probably don't make each other better.Lesley Logan  Yeah. So this is so this is so interesting, because I do have I remember when I when I lived in LA, and I'm sure it still exists in other cities, not just there, but I, I would see these women who had go to two or three workouts a day, they were in that calorie deficit. And it is not healthy. It's not healthy for I would watch their skin. It was like all these things that they're like, well, now I got to do this because my skin is like this. It's like well, it's not supposed to work out like that. And the other thing is like what we have also learned is that like women's workout should not look like men. So you can't you're not doing two days with the dudes, we have different hormones, we have different things and so we have to be more diligent about listening to our body and also giving it what it needs when it needs it. And we can't do that. So stressed out or disassociated from our own body to know what it needs. (Dr. Kelly Bender: Exactly.) So, okay, what ... Because you're not our doctor for every single person who's listening, what are, so what what are the rules and the rules of where you can, you know, give advice here? What are some things people can do to identify stress and then also like de stress, like, what can they ...Dr. Kelly Bender  Yeah, literally so, you know, the little disclaimer is, I am not your doctor if you're listening, or maybe I am, and if you're my patient, hello. But for the majority of you, I'm not your doctor. So consult your doctor, before you do anything. That's just like a little disclaimer. So stress, I would say we break down, I break down stress into sort of two main categories, which is physical stressors, and then sort of psychological emotional stressors. (Lesley: Okay.) Physical stressors are like we talked about fasting or calorie deficit, exercise, cold, extreme cold, extreme heat, those things, when done in a certain way can be really beneficial. But again, when done in an unhealthy way, not good for the body. So a lot of the research is coming out. Previously, there was very little research on intermittent fasting for women who were still menstruating. All the research was done in either men or postmenopausal women. And so there's a lot of menstruating women who saw the research didn't realize that they weren't part of that study, started doing it. And that's probably not great, a great stressor for hormones and for cortisol and those types of things. Certainly, during certain parts of your cycle, probably not ideal. Like you talked about doing short, short, cold exposures, right. So up to a few minutes, is actually really good for the body, doing hot exposures for short amounts of time, good for the body. Not sleeping is a huge physiologic stressor. So you know, identifying where maybe some of your habits or things are not optimal prioritizing sleep, you know, rest and recovery, if you're if you're exercising, not being careful not to over exercise, you know, not to significantly under eat prioritizing proteins, things like that, sort of fall under that physical physiologic stressor.Lesley Logan  Yeah. I think a lot of people don't realize how they might actually be under eating, or at least under eating in the certain nutrients. Like, even my own father, he was trying to lose some weight and, and he's like, "I'm not eating that much food." And I'm like, "I think that's the problem." (Dr. Kelly Bender: That is the problem.) That you're not eating enough for how active you are. And so your body is holding on to everything, because it's so freaked out. So can we get you some more books, like, let's just spend a week just looking at what you're eating and just seeing what days you're consistently under eating. So we can figure that out?Dr. Kelly Bender  Yep. And the timing of what of when you're eating. So keeping blood sugar regulated, keeping blood sugar stable, makes it so that all of your hormones, like your cortisol, your ghrelin, your leptin, your your glucagon, like all of those things aren't fluctuating and going crazy, because you can be under eating. So here's the thing, you can be under eating calories most days, and then on the weekend, you're like, oh, you know, I eat a normal amount of calories or a little bit more. And, and because overall, you're having more calories than you need at certain times, your body is going to store that. Right. (Lesley: Right.) So so making sure that you are eating enough for what you're trying to do with your body. But visceral fat specifically, is really hormonally driven. So even if you're under eating, but your cortisol is high, you're you're just going to have a really hard time especially getting rid of that visceral fat.Lesley Logan  Yeah. That's the dangerous stuff anyways.Dr. Kelly Bender  That's the dangerous stuff. You're probably going to start breaking down muscle or not being able to gain muscle. So there's all those those pieces. So just being aware, right of, of what do I need. And I know this sounds cliche, but mindfulness, right, just getting back into your body, doing any sort of activities that gets you back in touch with your body. I love dancing, like I just, I that's always been a thing that I love. And it really puts me back in touch with my body and so, so I'll do like dance classes or, or I'll just take 10 minutes in between patients and have a little dance party to bring me back down into my body. That oftentimes, two things one, it's again going to help you if you are slightly disassociated and not in touch with your body. And two, oftentimes those sorts of activities are, are stress relieving in and of themselves, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) So mindfulness meditation, just focusing on your breath is an attempt to get you reconnected to your body.Lesley Logan  Yeah. And what I love about those suggestions are like, mostly free, like you can, (Dr. Kelly Bender: Mostly free.) you can, you can turn on free music probably somewhere and dance to it. And it can be the same song every day, you know, until you need a new one. And you can just sit and intentionally think about your breathing because that's not something we have to intentionally do all the time. That's so so you mentioned like the physical signs of stressors and like some things there. There's also I think, the mental there's another stress, yeah.Dr. Kelly Bender  You know like mental, emotional, psychosocial, whatever you want to call what a lot of people when they think of stress, that's what they're thinking of, right? They're thinking of symptoms of anxiety, racing thoughts being nervous or worried or anxious about things that are happening. And so it's really interesting. Two things I'll say about that. One, very often in humans, we we are storytellers, humans are storytellers. We are meaning makers. We like to know what that thing means in our life. And so oftentimes, people have physical reactions that feel like stress. So one of the big ones is actually histamine. So histamine is like if you have seasonal allergies, you know (Lesley: Yeah.) about histamines. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) Histamine is a is something that our immune system produces, that can produce rashes, itchy, itchy eyes, runny nose, congestion, like all of the signs of like seasonal allergies. Histamine, when it gets into the brain, makes you feel anxious. racing heart, it can give you stomach issues, all of these things. And so sometimes people just have a histamine reaction, because they've come in contact with something that releases histamine. Unfortunately, chocolate can be a trigger sometimes. There are these high histamine foods. But I'm seeing this a lot post COVID. People's histamine trigger is just, it's just a hair trigger, (Lesley: Wow!) where before things didn't bother them at all. Now they're having anxiety, they're having trouble sleeping, they're getting some rashes, but their body feels, right. (Lesley: Right.) They just they know like, they've drink coffee all day long ...Lesley Logan  Yeah. That's crazy because ... to be like mindful breath work, and you're just doing this thing like, I don't know what's wrong with me. And it's like, actually, there's no it's just the ... the histamine is histamine, your brain, we got to get that out.Dr. Kelly Bender  ... of your brain. And the crazier thing is, most often humans will make up a reason that they're anxious. Right? So they feel ... (Lesley: Oh, we have to ...) they feel anxious in their body, from the histamine from whatever it is they they feel anxious, their heart is racing, right. And they don't attribute it to a high histamine food that they consumed, or the fact that they came in contact with a cat because they don't always necessarily get like, allergies that we think of allergies, but the histamines in the brain, and so they feel anxious. And then they're like, oh, I started feeling anxious when I started, they just happened to be thinking about going to work. This is all subconscious, right. But your brain says, oh, you started feeling this way when you started thinking about this thing. This thing is making you feel that way. And then you start coming up with reasons, oh, I'm anxious because maybe I'm thinking my boss is going to be mean like you actually attribute meaning where there is no meaning.Lesley Logan  So then you just start telling yourself a story. And so now your poor boss has done nothing to cause you stress. You think your boss is calling to do stress, and it's never gonna go away. Because you have histamine.Dr. Kelly Bender  And then here's the here's the here's the even crazier part, if that histamine goes away, but you have had that same thought pattern so many times, you will actually train your brain to become anxious when thinking about that topic.Lesley Logan  Oh, I believe that gets to habit because there's you there's, yes, that's how habits are created. Like we create them based on emotions in the brain, it releases something so now oh, and what's so crazy is people could be like leaving partners or jobs that had nothing to do with. Oh, my God.Dr. Kelly Bender  So we literally then train our brain that this thing or this person or this situation was making us anxious. And then let's say you stop eating that food or you get out of that environment. You're no longer triggered with the histamine, the histamine goes away. But you've actually reprogrammed your brain to have an anxious reaction to that topic.Lesley Logan  So why we need everyone needs to take Byron Katie's Four Questions instead of trying to make meaning. Just ask yourself, "How do I know this is real?"Dr. Kelly Bender  Right. Absolutely. And so it's been really wild, especially post COVID. Like I said, I've seen so many people have this, you know, hair trigger on their histamine. There is a supplement. And I'm not recommending anyone take this supplement. This is just for educational purposes. But there is a supplement called DAO, which is a I think it's diamino oxidase, but it's the enzyme that actually breaks down histamine in your body. So anti histamine medication blocks histamine from docking at the receptors. But there's tons of different histamine receptors in the body, there's h1, h2, there's like all these different ones. And it only blocks it in some of these places. And it doesn't necessarily block the places that make you feel anxious. So in some people it does, some people it doesn't. But if you take an anti histamine and you're like, "I'm so anxious, and now I'm tired." It doesn't mean that it's not the histamine. (Lesley: Right.) It could be that the histamine wasn't blocked at the proper receptor from the medication. (Lesley: Right.) So DAO is an enzyme that actually eats up and breaks down the histamine faster. It's like taking a lactaid pill if you're lactose intolerant.Lesley Logan  Got it. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So we shouldn't just go out and run out and take the supplement, because you actually probably don't want to block histamine, unnecessarily.Dr. Kelly Bender  I mean, there's low risk to it, but like, talk to your doctor, you know, (Lesley: Yeah.) your doctor kind of a thing. (Lesley: Yeah.) But it is, it's, it's really interesting.Lesley Logan  Yeah. That is so crazy. So then I love for talking about this. Because at the beginning of this, before we recorded, like, it was like, how can we, like people understand that stress is could be, either they could be stressing themselves out to become the next person. Or now that we've heard about histamine, we could be telling ourselves an entire story. We're just keeping us from being it till we see.Dr. Kelly Bender  Completely. I would say that it's actually a another reason to be it till you see it is because what you're feeling and what you're attributing it to, may actually not be correlated. Right? It you may be thinking, "Oh, I'm anxious about doing this podcast, because because I actually have impostor syndrome, and all these things." But your brain is just coming up with a reason that seems rational, (Lesley: Yeah.) why your body's having a certain response.Lesley Logan  That's so, wow, it's, it's so cra... It's so crazy.Dr. Kelly Bender  Like, you can be like, "Okay, I made like, my body feels anxious." But that is one of the biggest thing is like, let your body have whatever response it's having to move energy through. So my Tantra coach, (Lesley: Yeah.) one of the things we work on is emotions and worried is an emotion and you know, stressors and things like that. (Lesley: Yeah.) They're just energy in the body, let it move through. Don't hold try to hold on to them. Don't come up with a story about why you're sad, why you're angry. Discharge that, that emotion and that energy and that feeling. (Lesley: Yeah.) Then see what happens. Because most of the time we come up with a reason why our body feels the way they are. It's irrelevant.Lesley Logan  Yeah. Oh, that is so key. And it made me think of a couple things. So I just want to touch on this, y'all just you can move it out. Like you can just identify it like I'm feeling this way. And like, I don't, you don't have to go I wonder why it's just like I'm feeling this way, period. And then like, but also not to mask it because that's going to cause more stress. So my favorite annual read is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and he talks about those like seven signs that you are upper limiting yourself so when you upper limiting yourself it's because you stepped outside of your comfort zone and you're kind of in your niche like you're in your flow of what's coming up next, right. It's that new thing that you've been wanting to have, that new schedule, that new job or that new relationship. Whatever it is and you're like you're like in it and it like feel so good and then your brains like, fuck this scares me I don't actually know where we're turning left yet. I actually don't know where the death. I don't there's too many unknowns come back. And the way that he gets his comeback is through worry, self deprecation, picking fights. You get sick, like you literally just start getting sick. So there's these things and what is so interesting is now that I'm thinking about a lot of them are stressful feeling in the body. So you could be literally stressing yourself out to hold yourself back.Right. Or you could hold yourself back by just having a feeling of stress or unease in your body that is completely unrelated to the thing you're holding yourself back from. So holding yourself back won't even alleviate that anxiety. Because it's like, okay, you got to stop eating that food, you have to, you know, get an air purifier in your house, you know, whatever it is.Yeah, so fascinating. Okay, I mean, gosh, I love you. And I could keep talking to forever. But I feel like, what I hope everyone listening is that you got to really understand it like different ways we can cause stress on ourselves in a way that is not helpful. And then, and then identifying it is just the actual feeling versus making meaning out of it is the most important to identify and skip the meaning part, go make meaning of like, why the sky is blue, you know? Find another non stressful way to make meaning in life. We're gonna come back and just quick second, find out where people can find you, follow you know more about what you're doing in this planet, and also your BE IT action items. (Dr. Kelly Bender: Great.) All right, Dr. Bender, where do you hang out? Where can people if they were in the area, where can they work with you?Dr. Kelly Bender  Yes. So Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center in Brentwood, Los Angeles. You can go to purevitalitycenter.com. And check us out on the website. We're we're going to be starting to do TikTok. I'm super excited. We're gonna sort of restart our social media presence. We're also opening up in West Hollywood. So we'll be there. Go go online, check it out. There's lots of interesting things. I'll be making some content. Yeah.Lesley Logan  Yeah. So I can't wait for your medical TikTok. I really am excited. Because I feel like I'm gonna learn something more, when I'll actually open up my TikTok app. And you know what? I just have to say, y'all, if you are in either of those areas, you got to go in because talk about like, making meaning and causing stress. I went in to your offices when I was in LA, to get an IV because I was like, gosh, I just I'm like I'm feeling a little under the weather like, but I was like, I can't be sick. Maybe I felt like this because this is going on, maybe I feel like this is because this is going on. Got the IV and I'm like no dehydrated, lack of nutrition wasn't doing my normal morning routine for three weeks. So there's nothing to make meaning of. I just needed my body just needed nutrition. (Dr. Kelly Bender: ... needed the things.) Yes. (Dr. Kelly Bender: Yeah.) So so BE IT action items. I'm really happy to have you on. Y'all last time, I don't want to like, you know, I have no idea what she's gonna say. But I just wanted to say to all of you her last BE IT action item when she was on shift to listen that show we'll put it in the show notes below. One of our listeners reported back that she did it and she made money doing it. So just saying these BE IT action items if you actually use them, they're very beneficial.Dr. Kelly Bender  Yeah, I was gonna I don't know how to follow that one up, right? Like if I was ... that was like the best my best action item. Yeah, I would say my action item for for this one, especially like stress related and things like that is, if you can, if you can do any sort of presence, body, like getting back into your body. So you know, so movements, great Pilates, dance, any of those things, sort of like get back into your body, I think doing that and then reassessing, like, "Is this my body feeling this way and just letting it discharge." Right. So sometimes shaking is a really, really, really helpful way to just discharge energy. So just like your whole body, just like shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. And that can just discharge whatever that emotion or energy is.Lesley Logan  You know, I love that it's true. Like, you can just like, you know, let it out, let the anxiety out, let that out. I mean, not that we're dogs, but like, my dogs will like stretch when they want to stretch. And then all of a sudden, they'll just be like saying, like, shake whatever is happening to them. I'm like, they know what, they just do it. They don't ask permission. They just do what they're feeling. We should all do that. It's gonna be okay, no one's gonna like what does that person doing? Trust me, they're so busy trying to make meaning of whatever stressors in their life, they're not paying attention to you.Dr. Kelly Bender  I can't tell you how many patients like I'll see them and they're just I see them sitting like this. Right? And I'm like, Are you okay? I'm fine. There so disconnected. That's like, Okay, we're gonna we're gonna shake together. Right. And then doing it together. It's cool. And then they're completely like, it just changes the whole thing. So, yeah, if you're feeling if you're feeling anything, shake.Lesley Logan  Yeah, I love that. I love it. I love you. You're so amazing. I learned so much being around you and y'all how are you going to use these tips, this information in your life. We want to know. Tag Dr. Bender, tag at the @be_it_pod. Let us know if you have questions about this, send it to the @be_it_pod. Brad and I can answer things on the recap episode and until next time, Be It Till You See It.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!  Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.   Brad Crowell  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.    Brad Crowell  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.   Lesley Logan  Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.  Brad Crowell  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mindset has a lot more to do with just feelings and thoughts, it comes down to a science. Engage with Brad and LL as they recap psychologist, Kasey Jo Ordivas and her insights to overcoming fixed vs growth mindset and how it impacts seemingly small thoughts…like cooking;)If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Fixed vs growth mindset Researching your thoughts The seven whysWriting out the feelings around imposter syndrome Episode References/Links:Kasey's Free Growth Journal promptsEthan Kross: Chatter The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:01  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Brad Crowell 0:46  Hello!Lesley Logan 0:47  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life Brad Crowell and I are going to talk about the shifting convo I had with Kasey Jo Orvidas in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, go back, listen to that one, and then come back to this one, or listen to this one and listen to that one, or listen to this one and another one and then come back to that one. You get to do whatever order of podcasts as you want to do. And I'm really excited because if it sounds like we're in a different room, or if you're watching this on YouTube, and you're like, "Whose five year old bedroom are you in?"Brad Crowell 1:17  Yeah, that sort of feels like, definitely. And it also may sound different than normal because we are not at home.Lesley Logan 1:26  No, actually. So here's the deal. I was supposed to be there, there's so many things that are happening in the world right now. Right? That it's like you want to do all and I believe in pauses, we believe in the power of the pause and a girlfriend of mine, Kareen Walsh, who was actually and Dr. Kelly Bender, who are both have been guests on this podcast. They were both going to be in Scottsdale while they were both in Scottsdale, Arizona for different conferences at the same time. It's a 45... (Brad: I didn't know that.) Yeah. (Brad: Oh) So yeah. So I they're at different conferences at the same time. And so they're like, "Hey, do you want to come to Arizona and hang with us?" And I was like, "Yeah, I do." So I was like, I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna go there." But then Barely Canadian was supposed to have a fashion show. And they're like, "Hey, are you gonna be able to come our fashion show?" And I was like, "I think I can do that." And then you're like, "I'm so, we're supposed to go camping." I was like, "Well, I can do all the things." So let me just tell you, if you really want to do things, you probably can make it happen. So what was the original plan was I was gonna fly to Arizona, I was gonna hang with Kareen and Kelly, which I did do. But then the fashion show got moved to June 5th, which is my Dad's birthday, so I can't do that. However, when we planned this I was like flying from Arizona to LA then taking an Amtrak train to Josh... to Palm Springs where Brad was gonna pick me up in Palm Springs to go to Joshua Tree. Anyways, then this incredible thing happened which was have an amazing phone call interview with this incredible magazine. I didn't want to miss. So then we had to like add a hotel into there. And then the fashion show got moved. So anyways, fast forward, rewind. I flew from Arizona to hang out with my girlfriends. Then I flew to Palm Springs. I'm in this pretty pretty princess room because it's the only room available in Palm Springs on a Sunday during all these festivals. And Brad is here. We're recording these podcasts before we go to Joshua Tree. (Brad: Yeah) Hang out in his cactus garden. (Brad: Heck yeah.) Anyway, (Brad: I'm so excited.) that is not what I was super excited about. (Brad and Lesley laughs) But Brad wanted to make sure, we all wanted...Brad Crowell 3:21  A little side note. (Lesley: Yeah) Little side note.Lesley Logan 3:22  We just wanted to make sure that you knew why we're in a weird space and it's not a five year old room. This is a hotel room you can you can get this but they didn't pay me for this podcast, so I'm not telling you who it is. Okay, coming up in a couple of weeks, I am going to be with Erika Quest teaching a six hour pre con at Momentum Fest, if you don't remember Jessica Valant. She was on our show last year. (Brad: Yeah) She's incredible. Brad and I love Momentum Fest and Brad's gonna be there with our booth. I'm teaching at the festival all weekend long. So if you live in Denver, if you can get yourself to Denver, you need to be going to Momentum Fest. So check that out. And ...Brad Crowell 3:57  It's a movement festival. So it's not just Pilates. They have all sorts of (Lesley: Yoga ... medication) modalities there. Yeah. And and it's also just a great time. It's just great people. It's a really fun vibe. And we've we. The first year we did it because our our friends were doing it, hosting it. And we were like, "Oh, well, of course we'll come in and support you." (Lesley: Yeah) And it was so much fun. We were like, "Well, you're gonna do it again next year. Right? Because we're coming."Lesley Logan 4:22  Yeah. And then and then we actually didn't do the next one.Brad Crowell 4:26  Well, then the next one we were out of the country.Lesley Logan 4:29  Yeah, anyways, but we believe in it so much. We sent everyone there and we have gone back every year since (Brad: Yeah) we're really excited about it. We'll have the flashcards there, we've got the book there. It's just a lot of fun. There's a solstice party. You can buy one day tickets today tickets, you can buy the pre con without coming or you can come to the whole thing. Just get your Thass two at Momentum Fest. Okay. And then one more thing I'm super excited about because it's coming up quick. I can't believe how fast this summer is going, Brad. (Brad: Yeah, I know.) So (Brad: It's already May.) eLevate if you remember if you've been listening for a long time 'eLevate' is my mentorship program for Pilates instructors who are wanting to elevate their practice, their connection to the method and how they teach the method. And our first round sold out. It's been incredible to nine month program. Anyways, we're about to open up the doors for the second round. Yes, I said second round, I'm going to do it after all, we are just confirming all the dates around the retreats, but we're taking fewer people this time. So if you are wanting to be on invited to that mentorship, you actually need to do need to get on to the waitlist, because we are going to invite those people first. First come, first serve applications. So you need to go to um, where did they need to go, Brad?Brad Crowell 5:38  lesleylogan.co/elevateLesley Logan 5:43  Great, great, so you're gonna go there to get on the waitlist? Okay. We have an audience question, I think. (Brad: Yeah) This is funny. This one made me laugh.Brad Crowell 5:52  Well, I'll, I will let you read it because (Lesley: Okay) it's about me.Lesley Logan 5:56  Yeah. So I got a question. Did I see that Brad does have an Instagram account. And it's been kind of funny, because the whole time it's like Brad's not on Instagram. He's not on social. He's not on social but Brad, did you, did you?Brad Crowell 6:09  I totally did. I was I was inspired by our publicist. She said, "Brad, you talk about cactuses so much. You should have an Instagram about that." And I was like, "I would totally do that. I'm totally doing that." And so we brainstormed a lot of different names and ultimately got cactus daddie, that's @cactus_daddie, d a d d i e. (Lesley: Yeah) And so if you love seeing plants that somehow magically survive in jungles and deserts, cactus, cacti, they all, they do, succulents as well. I'm infatuated with them. And everywhere I go, now, they just kind of jump out at me and I take pictures of them. And it's just a lot of fun. (Lesley: Yeah) So come join me.Lesley Logan 6:58  Come join him. If you want to see the cactuses. He's already been getting feedback on on his account. So (Brad and Lesley laughs) (Brad: I have.) So you know, what? Every... no one is immune to feedback on their social media. All right.Brad Crowell 7:14  All right. Let's talk about Kasey Jo Orvidas. Obsessed with the connection between mindset and health behaviors. Kasey Jo went and got a Ph.D in Psychology to study growth versus the fixed mindset. Okay. Growth versus fixed. And that's key. It was a great conversation. She then developed her own program, health mindset, coaching certification, and started her health and fitness coaching business, KJO coaching. She's a determined woman working to blend psychology and health to help her clients develop lasting change. (Lesley: Yeah) And I just wanted to say, first off, I had no idea that like, mindset wasn't just a concept, but it was a science. There's science behind mindset.Lesley Logan 8:01  I know. Everyone thinks, it's o, it's a woowoo. But it's it's actually completely scientifically based. SoBrad Crowell 8:06  Yeah, so like this, you know, I guess it made sense to me that she studied Psychology, of course. But then after getting the the foundation her... you know, in psychology, then went on to do her study and mindset. And so that found that really, really surprising. (Lesley: Yeah) I didn't know that.Lesley Logan 8:24  I love it. I love it. Well, you mentioned this already in her bio. So I'm gonna start with it. One thing I love that she talked about, is the growth versus six fixed mindset. And I think this is really a cool topic. It's, I find that when we can, we can actually like, label something, it makes it easier for us to understand what's happening. So I this weekend had a completely, a complete moment of a fixed mindset. And so just so you know, I think we talked about this in the podcast interview, you don't just like, you don't just like get a growth mindset and like, you're done. Like, nailed it, right? Like, you actually have to keep working at that. So, so just so you know, if you have days where you like, are like abundance, like I can do it all and like, like, you don't see things as holding you back, or like you don't see someone else's success as a reason you can't have it. That doesn't mean you're never going to have those moments where you're like, "I can't, you know, or this isn't working. I'm not good enough." Like you're gonna have you're a human being. But ...Brad Crowell 9:23  Well also too, there's more than it's not like you're not like chasing the the the mindset unicorn and once you've caught the unicorn, you're good for the rest of your life. (Lesley: Right) It's also like spread out across different topics, too. Right? You may have really worked on your money mindset, let's say (Lesley: Yeah) but your you know, your confidence in yourself in dating, maybe isn't there right so you're ... it's it's not like once you got it one place. You nailed it everywhere, either.Lesley Logan 9:56  Yeah, yeah. And I think that's really important, because I think that's where like, we're gonna talk about this later on the episode but like, I think that's where impostor syndrome comes in, because you like, you feel like you're good here, but you're not good there. I see this with our Agency members all the time. They're like, "Give it, I got it here. And now I don't have it here." And it's like, right, because it's ...Brad Crowell 10:11  I mean, Kasey talked about that, (Lesley: Yeah) too. She, she's, like, you know, even after five years of studying mindset, and understanding, you know, everything behind it, the foundation of it and why it happens. She said, she still catches herself, limiting herself and creating these limiting beliefs of like, "I always. I can't. Not that's not for me," like these kinds of words that are associated with (Lesley: Yeah) a fixed (Lesley: Yeah) mindset as opposed to a growth mindset. And, and I ...Lesley Logan 10:40  Oh, I think we talked about this on Michael Unbroken's episode, like, the worst thing you can say is, that's just who I am.Brad Crowell 10:44  Yes, that's the worst thing you could say. That was the episode, that was a great episode.Lesley Logan 10:48  That's a fixed mindset. So, (Brad: Right) I highly recommend, you know, think about listen to the words you're saying, if it's can't, not good enough. I'm not, I don't know enough or (Brad: That's not for me.) That's, um, that's just who I am. (Brad: Yeah) Just explore those. It's okay to like, look, there's like, I'm not like, not a lot of foods are for me, but... Right? So like, that's fine. But, but like this, be mindful of what you're saying about yourself because that fixed mindset could be like, literally starts to limit you. And like limit you in other areas.Brad Crowell 11:23  I think this is a great opportunity to talk about the 'why'. (Lesley: The 'why'?) Yeah, you know, the whys of... Asking yourself the seven why's, (Lesley: Oh yeah) you know, like that this is ...Lesley Logan 11:38  So funny, I just saw him. (Brad: Oh, really?) (Lesley laughs) Yeah. So, so the Seven Layers to Why is from Dean Graziosi. And the most hilarious thing is I just tell Brad, "Hey, I just saw him while I was having breakfast with Kareen in Arizona." (Brad: Ha!) So like, so speaking of Dean, you weren't in that part of the conversation but now you are. It's just like, why do, his is more like, "Why do you wanted this?" Like, "Why do I want to write a book?" "Because I want to get my message out there." "Why don't we get your message out there?" "Because my message can change lives." "Why do you want to change lives?" "Because I grew up with people who told me I couldn't do anything." Like, "Why is that important to you? Why, why?" Why until you get to the whole thing, (Lesley: Yeah) which is like, I don't ever want anyone to ever live in a world where they can't believe in what they do. Like or I don't (Brad: Yeah) like it's not, you know, soBrad Crowell 12:27  It's a fascinating dive into your own thinking and this is actually something that we didn't pick as a talking point but Kasey Jo was talking about researching your own mind and listening to the words that circulate in your own thoughts and then you know, but this researching your own mind that is a great tool, the 'whys' is a great tool to to (Lesley: Yeah) understanding yourself.Lesley Logan 12:56  And you can also go, you can also do the, "Why do I think that? Who told me that?" And that goes (Brad: Yeah) like Thor. Right? When we have that guests Thor, (Brad: Sure) he says, "I can't do that." And and you know, Byron Katie talks about this a lot, where just like, it's like, "Who would you be if you didn't have this fixed mindset? Who would you be if you didn't have the thought you couldn't do the thing?" You'd be the (Brad: Or) person you can do the thing.Brad Crowell 13:14  Or what would the person who could do that thing? What would they be doing? (Lesley: Yeah) Or how would they be thinking?Lesley Logan 13:20  Oh, hey, be it till you see it. (Brad: Hey) I said hey. (Brad laughs) We can just go on and on about this whole thing. It could be, I mean, it should be its own episode, we just had it with Kasey. So at any rate, I think it's a wrap this up a little bow and it kind of leads into your thing. It is okay, if you have a fixed mindset moment, it's going to, you're human being. (Brad: Yeah) What you then need to do is explore that in your mind, in an, in writing, in conversation with others around it so that you can pull it into, so you can pull yourself into a growth mindset aspect. And what will happen is you'll get faster and faster at doing this you're fixed mindset. (Brad: Right. You'll identify it.) might take you six months to get over them but then after that you were able to in six weeks and then in six days and then it's in six minutes. You're like, "Oh what is that thought? Oh hello old thought coming back in. Nice to see you. We don't agree with that anymore." You know, like you get to there's the author of Chatter like people use their own name to talk though to themselves when they were trying to like train a thought over and it you might think a crazy person but you're not like it was actually science around that. So anyways, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with it. Anyways, what did you love?Brad Crowell 14:28  Well, I am so I'm glad we're we're digging into growth versus fixed mindset because I know that's one of the things we talked about so much on the show and in our webinars with Profitable Pilates. But one of the consistently recurring struggles that we've been told people are really digging into is imposter syndrome. And also, I mean or experiencing, not necessarily digging into but experiencing. And I know this is something that I also deal with, you also deal with impostor syndrome. (Lesley: Oh) Right. (Lesley: Yeah) And when we when we talk about impostor syndrome. I know it makes me feel small. Like, it makes me feel like like, "Oh, yeah, you know, like, I'm just not good enough for the thing, or I, why am I? How, why are people listening to me? How (Lesley: Yeah) do I have the authority to do all this kind of stuff?" And one, I want to kind of flip this, the perspective of it. Typically, we associated with fear, negativity. Right?Lesley Logan 15:37  How about we go in, people go into I see it all the time, the people we coach, or even in our OPC group, where they feel like an impostor, they go into like a shame spiral. And then it goes into a fixed mindset. And then it's (Brad: Right) like this whole thing. And it's like, yeah,Brad Crowell 15:47  Well, so I want to flip it, though, because one thing that Kasey Jo mentioned, was having imposter syndrome definitely means you're not a narcissist. (Lesley: Right. So it's not a bad thing.) So it doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Like (Lesley: Yeah) sometimes, I think it's helpful to acknowledge that, you know, we really do care about our work, we do care that we're conveying a message that is going to be helpful for people and beneficial for people. You know, so it's funny, because everything has a plus and a minus even impostor syndrome.Lesley Logan 16:23  Well, I also think like, it shows you care. (Brad: Yeah) It just shows you care. And also, it might even show you that you know, more because when you know more than you know, you don't know, you don't know. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) Do you know what I mean?Brad Crowell 16:35  That's another that's another thing that two of you talked about.Lesley Logan 16:37  The more that you know, the more you learn what you don't know, and that like (Brad: Yeah) creates his own impo... Like, yeah. It is, like new level, new devil. So you know, I think I love that you brought this up, because I think it's just, it's okay to just call it out. I'm feeling or we do this all the time in the house. (Brad: Yeah) It's like, I'm feeling impostor syndrome around this right now. And then when you pull it out of your head, it's all of a sudden, like, it doesn't actually have the power anymore, doesn't mean you don't have the feelings anymore. But it doesn't have that power. And then you can actually talk about it. And sometimes it can feel really silly, or sometimes it can go, "Oh, it's because I'm not doing this thing over here. Because I'm not doing this thing over here. I have impostor syndrome about this because I don't feel authentic. Okay, so know I know what I need to work on."Brad Crowell 17:21  Yeah, yeah, I mean, and, and one thing you can do is actually write this down. Because I find it a lot easier when I'm looking at something is, then I can, kind of analyze it from the other side. But this is all mindset, right? Like, when you when you're receiving something in and it's negative, well, how do we from an objective perspective, like third party? What if you could stand on the side of yourself and look at this happening to you? How do you look at it and see what could be positive about that? Right? So if you're experiencing impostor syndrome, in a way of like, "I don't know why I'm the one that was picked to teach this class" or something like that, write that down. And then I think that will allow you like, "I don't know why I was picked for this," you know, then it will allow you to go, "Maybe I was picked for this for something else." And you can kind of see that. (Lesley: Yeah) When I'm, when you're looking at it, I find it's easier. And it's this is a very strange internal dialogue. And it's only really started to be available since I started doing journaling. Because I've never really written things down, especially my feelings in that way. Or like what I'm struggling with or worried about. And you know, it when you're just writing it out, suddenly, you can can say, "Alright, well, what if, what if this was a positive for me instead of a negative? How does that look? What is that actually?" (Lesley: Yeah) And then you can focus on that.Lesley Logan 18:52  Yeah, and maybe, maybe write down the questions you're gonna ask yourself, when you're having impostor syndrome, when you're not having it so that you have this list next to your desk. So it's like I don't like then you can like go through the questions that work for you. I really liked that.Cool!All right. So finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items that you covered with Kasey Jo Orvidas. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo? I will jump in right here. And we, I kind of already hit hinted at this actually looks like I ended up both of ours. But researching your thoughts. We were talking about those seven why's. Where did this thought come from? So if you this is the fixed versus open growth, sorry, growth mindsets, right? Where did that thought come from? Was that like something you inherited from a family member or from a teacher from another friend of yours, from an experience that personally happened to you? Why is that thought there? Is that thought really true? What is the evidence for that thought being true? What is the evidence against that thought? And then, you know, be basically like, a researcher of your own mindset, your own mentality. You know, why are you doing the things that you're doing and, and be willing to actually look at it?Yeah, I really love that. I mean, we did this when we were doing the Artist's Way. And like, (Brad: Yeah) I like was like, "Oh, I don't cook." Because of this one time, my grandfather yelled at me about how I made a grilled cheese sandwich. Is that really like, what stopped me from learning how to cook?Brad Crowell 20:34  And also, (Lesley: Like so silly.) Well, it's also, you know, funny, because I think that is a fascinating example. In that you never told me that story before. (Lesley: I know.) And we'd been married for a long time. And I never heard that. And suddenly, through the process of journaling, you were like, "I just remembered something. (Lesley: Yeah) And I wonder, I wonder if this is part of my mindset (Lesley: Yeah) around cooking."Lesley Logan 21:03  Yeah. And you know, I mean, like, and I know that sounds like the Lesley it's just cooking. It's like, yeah, but that stop, that has stopped me from cooking for years, y'all. Like, we're talking Brad goes away. And I'm like, "I think I'm have some almonds for dinner. I think that's good. That's good." (Brad and Lesley laughs) Thank God for Postmates. Okay, here's me ...Brad Crowell 21:23  Well, I just want to give you to a little shout out since discovering that. What were the action items that you took?Lesley Logan 21:31  Oh, I started cooking a new recipe a week from this new co... from this cookbook from a restaurant that I love in Siem Reap. And I would have cooked a new recipe this week. But Brad cooked my cauliflower. And that was supposed to be for cauliflower bites. So we will we will start that when we get back. We will, I will put all of a big fat post it note, "Don't cook this head of cauliflower. It's for my new experiment."Brad Crowell 21:53  That's so funny. I didn't know that. But but but the reason I wanted to keep talking about this is because you identified it. Right? And then you talked about it. And then you made a, you made a decision. (Lesley: Yeah) And you took action and ...Lesley Logan 22:10  Well, it goes into my my BE IT action item. It says, "Write it out. What can you start today?" (Brad: There you go.) And thank you for setting me up for that. (Brad laughs) And so what, that's what I did, like I was like, "Okay, how.." Like, "How can I start something small today?" I don't want to take a cooking class, you all. Like I know I'm on a hobby hunt. That is not something I want. I don't want that kind of pressure. I just wanted it to be fun and easy. And so the first thing I made were these like fudge brownie, there's suppose to be balls, but I made them bites and they are amazing. And so it was like what I looked at all the recipes that I looked at which one would be the easiest one to start with. I did not take on, there was this one that I was like, "I love that recipe." But I didn't take it on because it was like a little bit outside my element. So I took on what I could and so I did write it out. I did look at it. And I thought about like, "Okay, what are some ways I can make this happen?" And you know, we have a lot of people who talk about writing things out in their BE IT action items. And this one was really specific. What can you literally do starting today? And so I feel like that's an even better BE IT action item then just to write it out. It's like, what is it that you can do right now? (Brad: Yeah) Because if you start writing out like, "Oh, I actually could start that one." And like you keep going, you end up getting a step that you can take. And it's going to actually tell your brain, "Oh, growth mindset. I'm taking a step forward in this." (Brad: Right) It's going to be the antidote to fear we talk about in every one of these episodes ...You got the micro win (Lesley: Yeah) that helps you celebrate, (Lesley: Yeah) that helps your mindset. (Lesley: Yeah) Gives you confidence.Yeah, so I've actually like I have I have also been making my own lunch now. Like every like Brad is not (Brad: Yeah) watching me go.Brad Crowell 23:46  And it's actually a real lunch.Lesley Logan 23:47  It is a real lunch. It is, we have more dishes to do every day now. So anyways, that's the other side of that. Well, I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 23:56  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 23:57  How are we going to use these tips in your life? Let us know. I want you to screenshot this episode, tag the @be_it_pod, you can now tag @cactus_daddie, can also tag @coachkaseyjo with your takeaways. Please do this. So we know what you're doing. We want to celebrate you. We want to be cheerleaders for you and your DMs because we know how much you need that. I need that. We're all human beings. It's okay to need people to high five you for what you're doing. So tag us and let us know how you're gonna do this and share it with someone else who needs this. If you have a friend in your life who's like, "Ooh, we got to fix mindset that's driving me nuts." Just send them this episode and it'll just you don't have to say anything. It'll just nudge him right along. So thank you so much. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 24:36  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 24:39  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day!'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 25:12  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan 25:23  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.Brad Crowell 25:28  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 25:36  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can. Brad Crowell 25:49  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Find Kelly at linkedin.com/in/kellybender17

Brad & Lesley pull out some of Damari's golden nuggets from our last episode's interview with her, digging into how finances should serve as an affirmation, not a trigger - especially when we allow debt to define us. Debt can be debilitating, managing our credit score is so complicated, we don't walk around with little debt chat bubbles, and more.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:• Lesley's love language• Black Friday Cyber Monday deals... links below• When you focus on something, things happen• Why Lesley picked an S Corp for her business• Damari's last name is a Be It moment• How do we choose our titles as entrepreneurs?• We allow debt to define us• Your credit score is based on how you manage debt• We don't have debt chat bubbles...• Finances should serve as an affirmation, not a triggerBlack Friday/Cyber Monday Deals:• Be It Pod Merch https://lesleylogan.co/boutique• Online Pilates Classes https://onlinepilatesclasses.com• Fitness Business Courses https://profitablepilates.comEpisode References/Links• Damari's website https://www.damarigold.com/• The Messy Middle: Finding Your Way Through the Hardest and Most Crucial Part of Any Bold Venture by Scott Belsky https://amzn.to/3DR8ql7If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:01  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:45  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the rich convo I had with Damari Gold in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back, listen to that one and then come back and join us. You know ... I don't even know how people are listening to these in which order but I am seeing all the different loves you have episode 34, made someone laugh out loud many times that makes me happy. (Lesley laughs) So you know, whichever order ...Brad Crowell 1:18  34 with Jessica Burgio that's a recap.Lesley Logan 1:20  ... I know, I know the evens are recaps, so here we are. So y'all, Happy Thanksgiving for those ... (Brad: Happy Thanksgiving.) If you're listening to this, then right now whether it's Thanksgiving for you or not, I'm just so grateful for you. I know I said it last week in Episode 50. (Brad: What?) But I really am and it was really fun to celebrate the 50th episode because I got to see a lot more love for the pod and I'm just words of affirmation is my love language. So thank you so much, but because it is Thanksgiving. (Brrr brrr brrrrr)Brad Crowell 1:57  What is that mean?Lesley Logan 1:58  Oh, it's like a little like, drumroll. (Lesley table drumming)Brad Crowell 2:00  Oh, I thought you're trying to be Cardi B for a second. (Brad and Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 2:05  That's Cardi B. (Brad: Yeah) Cardi B is a little one. A drumroll is longer. (Brrrrrrrr)Lesley Logan 2:09  Gotcha. Yeah. (Lesley: I have no idea. That's why I ...) Exciting news. And if you're on our email list, you already are aware (Lesley: Things are on sale.) Starting on Friday the 29th, so the day after Thanksgiving. (Lesley: Yeah, we ...) For only four days we're just gonna do Friday, Saturday Sunday, Monday closes Monday night.Lesley Logan 2:26  We are doing, if you're watching it on YouTube and you just saw everything shake, Gaia is really weird today. Ah ...Brad Crowell 2:35  She threw herself into the table. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan 2:37  I know she also, y'all she loves plastic bottles and today she decided that a can in the trashcan was a plastic bottle. So I do think her eyesight is going ... (Brad: Oh geez.) But anyways, let's go back to these deals. (Brad: Yes.) Um, so on our sites, check out the notes below. We have different amazing deals for different things. So (Brad: Yes) for our Pilates teacher ...Brad Crowell 2:55  We're bringing Las Vegas possible.Lesley Logan 2:57  Yeah. Well, here we go. Well specifics, if you're a teacher hit a Profitable Pilates because good shit is happening with the courses, (Brad: Yeah) you're welcome. (Brad: Yeah) You are welcome. This is the best sale I've ever done on those courses. I don't want to hear it. Just go by them, have fun. I want you to change your business. (Brad: Yeah.) If you are Pilates levah, there's some workshops and some legacy stuff. So get your ass over there and ...Brad Crowell 3:24  At onlinepilatesclasses.com ... YesLesley Logan 3:25  And then over at lesleylogan.coLesley Logan 3:29  Yeah. We got BE IT pod merch.Lesley Logan 3:31  Cuz you know what? You should dress up like me. (Lesley laughs) Also ...Brad Crowell 3:35  And it's on sale right now, (Lesley: It's on sale.) for tomorrow til 29th.Lesley Logan 3:39  It's on sale. And here's the thing. We are old school, elder millennials. I'm so sorry. I do not like that the sales are starting earlier and earlier every year. No ...Brad Crowell 3:48  Yeah, I'm with you (Lesley: I'm in protest ...) in being against to that.Lesley Logan 3:51  I'm in protest. And so this is how I'm showing my protest.Lesley Logan 3:54  It's not Black Friday, Cyber Monday month. (Lesley: No) It's Blackfri-day, Cybermon-day. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan 4:00  Yeah. And just and then what the days in between where, you know, those are your ... (Brad: We are giving you the weekend.) Those are your bonuses. Now, I don't want to hear it when I start celebrating my birthday month. That is true. (Brad laughs) That is real. But it doesn't mean tons of sales in your inbox every frickin' day. So go, go ... go stock up and all the things that make your life better because I'm really excited about it and ... (Brad: Heck yea) Happy Thanksgiving. Okay.Brad Crowell 4:28  All right.Lesley Logan 4:29  So, we, instead of an audience question this week, I actually wanted to share a couple things. I was just doing a coaching call with one of our agency members and she had listened to the episode with Dr. Bender. And when Dr. Bender shared that she umm she has like physical things around for like, just by bringing in the things she wanted. So for example, she wanted money to be around her always ...Lesley Logan 5:02  This is episode 41 with (Lesley: Yeah) Dr. Kelly Bender.Lesley Logan 5:05  So, listen to this. So this is episode 52? (Brad: Yeah.) Okay. So 11 episodes ago, my client listened to the BE IT item from Dr. Bender. And she all... she did what Dr. Bender did. So Dr. Bender had put two $100 bills on a table in her house with a crystal and amethyst crystal on it. And like, you know, she's like, "... Money is around me, flows to me easily." And this client was like, "Okay, I'm going to do it." So she's like, "How much money should I put there?" So she is like, "I'm gonna put the same amount of money as a new client package." So she put three $100 bills in her desk drawer. And she's like, "I don't have any crystals but I had this rock, and I have a bracelet of other crystals. And my mom would collect these like half dollars. And so I put that on there." And she's like, "I've had four new clients for in 11 episodes." That's like three weeks. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 6:02  Like six weeks. Yeah. (Lesley: Oh) Five and a half weeks.Lesley Logan 6:05  Five ... whatever. That's still a new client a week, basically.Brad Crowell 6:08  Oh, it's amazing.Lesley Logan 6:09  It's amazing.Brad Crowell 6:09  I'm not taking away from her (Lesely: So ...) for her achievement at all. I think it's really amazing.Lesley Logan 6:13  So y'all, um, I'm not answering questions, because I'm just sell... to I just want to share with you if you do these BE IT action items. Life is like happening for you.Lesley Logan 6:24  Yeah, I just, I just kind of need to comment because I'm not like, like the overly "woowoo." But I would guess that your client opened the drawer and saw that in there. And it was a consistent reminder. And that kept bringing the idea of getting new clients to the top of her mind. And that's why because she's focused on it brings it you know, you're doing it, (Lesley: Yeah) you're, you're you're going after your you know, you're actually focusing on it. (Lesley: Right) So, (Lesley: Yeah) I absolutely believe that. You know what, when we focus on something things happen. And that's just a real easy physical reminder that you can't miss.Lesley Logan 7:02  Yeah, so anyways, next week, maybe we'll answer a question, or maybe we'll share another win... You know, we're gonna call them bold moments. And maybe so either (Brad: It's a bold moment) we're gonna answer question, or we're gonna ans... we're gonna share a bold moment from our BE IT listeners. And that could be you. So share that with me.Brad Crowell 7:17  Love that.Lesley Logan 7:18  Okay.Brad Crowell 7:20  I'm gonna write that down, "Our first bold moment." (Lesley: Okay.) Oh, yeah. (Lesley: Woo)Lesley Logan 7:27  I had another one, but it's on I screenshot it and I don't I don't know where it is. But someone DM me a bold moment and I need to find it. And I'll maybe I'll share it next week.Brad Crowell 7:37  We'll bring it back.Lesley Logan 7:38  ... It'll be a segue. You know what, we have a new producer, and that's going to be her job. (Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 7:42  That's true. We have a producer. We hired a producer. (Lesley: I know.) It was really amazing and exciting. I just spent a bunch of time on zoom with her this morning.Lesley Logan 7:51  I like her glasses.Lesley Logan 7:54  Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, she she's she's rad. Her name is Amanda. She does, she has no idea that we're talking about her on the pod.Lesley Logan 8:01  We have to change our outro.Brad Crowell 8:03  Oh, yeah, we got to do all the things. (Lesley: Oh, shoot.) Yeah, no, it's official. (Lesley: Well, she can task us with that) By the time you listen to this, we'll have a new ... (Lesley laughs) maybe we'll have another outro. Well, very soon. (Lesley: Very soon.) Things are gonna change. It's exciting. (Lesley: It's exciting) We're very happy about it. (Lesley: Yeah.) Anyway. (Lesley: Okay.) Okay, now let's talk about the Damari Gold.Lesley Logan 8:22  I love it.Brad Crowell 8:23  Damari Gold is a tax accountant who left the corporate world to open her beach side firm. Her business and her clients are her life. She hates the way we collectively define success and allow debt to stop us in our tracks. And she works with her clients to battle that mentality, creating space for messy beginnings. I really enjoyed your conversation with her. It's actually a lot of fun. (Lesley: Yeah) She, you know, she's gone to school, started working, got her Masters, was working again, decided she actually didn't like working for people. And that's when she wanted to go start her own thing. And then she said she struggled with starting on a thing because she just didn't pull the trigger. And then like couple years in, she finally did. And now she's out on her own. You know, (Sorry, I almost pulled my headphones off.) (Brad and Lesley laughs) Now she's on her own. And and, you know, doing accounting, and what I what I loved about this conversation was that she's anything but a typical accountant, at least from this conversation that ... (Lesley: Oh my God, she isn't) and it was a lot of fun.Lesley Logan 9:37  Or maybe she is and they're all lying to us. (Brad laughs) But like I just loved how honest she was about even her own financial status and life and things like that. (Brad: Sure) Because I think we think of accountants. I mean, your parents are accountants, if I'm not ... (Brad: My dad is) your dad is. (Brad: Yeah) He's like really good with money. (Brad: Yeah. Yes) And so I just think accountants are just like really good with money and like our CPA in California, oh my God, like he scared me. I was like, I, I don't even know, like, he didn't scare me. He's actually so lovely. And he took such good care of us. But like, I'm not even kidding. Like, I ...Lesley Logan 10:11  No. His higher level thinking about money. It was like so different than the way that we conceptualize and it was, it was intimidating. I'm not gonna lie. Lesley Logan 10:11  No, no, he called me into his office. And I was like, "I have to go to my CPA's office."Brad Crowell 10:22  It's like being sent to the principal.Lesley Logan 10:23  I know, he like email me. He's like, "Lesley, we need to have a meeting." I was like, "Oh my God." And he like, sat me down for an hour and explained to me how I couldn't keep doing business the way I was doing business as a sole proprietor. And I needed to choose to be ... he like he's like, "You have to choose. Are you going to be LLC or you're going to be an S Corp?" And it was really funny, because it was like, right before you proposed to me, and he's like, "Well, when your LLC you need to have like these two people. But if your S Corp, you could be you or these other things." And I said, "Well, I think I'm, think I'm going to be an S Corp thing, because it's just me and I'm just dating someone right now. So like, who's gonna be my partner in this?" Ahh! And then you ...Brad Crowell 11:00  That's why you pick the S Corp? (Lesley: I know) (Lesley laughs) That's unbelievable.Lesley Logan 11:05  He also said that S Corps (Brad laughs) have ahh, gonna have more write offs, because corporations just have more bills. So I was like, "Great."Brad Crowell 11:13  I love the logic behind that, that is ... (Lesley laughs) amazing.Lesley Logan 11:17  But he said S Corps have, you know, they have more bills. So people like that the auditing is different. And I was like, "Okay, that also sounds less scary. So let's go that way." (Brad and Lesley laughs) Anyways, but I really loved Damari back to the who we are recapping because she, it's like, it's all I felt like if I became an accountant. Right? Like, not that I would, but like, I feel like we have similar personalities and (Brad: Yeah) similar outlooks on life. And so anyways, it's all about me. Right? And she was just fabulous. So anyways,Lesley Logan 11:50  That's awesome. Yeah. So so well, actually, so so she had a whole bunch of things that she went through, actually, the conversation flowed pretty well. (Lesley: Thank you) (Lesley laughs) Yeah, I mean, from one story to the next. It just kept rolling. But you had you had one specific thing you're (Lesley: Oh, like ...) very excited about.Lesley Logan 12:12  ... hands down. Can we just talk about how Be It Till You See It is this? Her name, I thought, gosh, so cool. Her name is Damari Gold. (Dog barks) And she's the Gold Standard Accounting or whatever. And like, you know, I just thought like, "That's amazing." Like, she's so lucky to be named Damari Gold, because then she kept the Gold Standard Accounting or whatever. And so when I asked her, she's like, "Oh, no, I, that's my stage name." (Lesley laughs) I was like, "That is so Be It Till You See It." Like that, y'all like, sometimes you have to name yourself or name your thing, like what you want it to be. And so she did that. And now it's, you know, it's, it's her name, and I freaking love it. So anyways.Lesley Logan 12:25  Yeah. That is ... she definitely has a full story about how she came up with it. And it's her favorite color and all these other things. And at the end, she was like, "Well, Gold Standard Accounting. I think I'm just gonna call myself, Damari Gold." (Lesley: Yeah.) And that's what she's doing. (Lesley: Yeah.) So and it flows and it sounds baller.Lesley Logan 13:15  It sounds so... it sounds so baller. (Brad: Yeah) I mean, you know ...Lesley Logan 13:18  But I think that, you know, let's look at it from the BE IT perspective. We talked about this, I can't remember exactly one. But it was like, way back in the beginning. We talked about right, creating your own title. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) You know, and how maybe you have been defining yourself as, quote/unquote, "Just a Pilates teacher," you know, (Lesley: Yeah) which I think is a terrible way to define ourselves, because we're not "just" anything. (Lesley: We're not just anything). But let's just say you're a Pilates teacher, what if instead, you were a movement liberator. (Lesley: Ooh) Ooh, you know or ...Lesley Logan 13:54  Look at the person pulling out the thesaurus. (Brad and Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 13:57  You know, or, you know, I think that there is so much creativity that can be had in how we define ourselves. And, you know, before we were obviously talking about, like, the title that we have adopted, but I think it's amazing that she changed her name to fit with the you know, who she is, when she's, you know, working her business. (Lesley: Yeah) I thought that was great.Lesley Logan 14:22  100%. Well, speaking of things you love, what did you ... what what is, what did you love?Lesley Logan 14:28  Yeah, okay, so this was profound. And (Lesley: Ooh) I knew this was rich. Hmm. (Lesley: Rich) So she, she basically said debt ... We allow debt to define us. We allow debt to stop us. We allow debt to be this big, massive, scary mountain that we can't function when there's debt and we are also sold with this, you know, just the way that our our society works and capitalism and all the things. We're sold this idea that, you know, "Being debt free is the only way to be." (Lesley: Oh my God) You know, and ... (Lesley: Y'all, it's like ...) Here's, here's my, here's my thing. Clearly, being debt free is a positive thing. I'm not saying that it's not. I'm not saying that you should just incurred that you know, like create debt for that sake. No, that's stupid. But what I am saying is that the difference of you being in debt and you being out of debt, actually, it's, it's this weird definition that we have for ourselves. Why would being out, out of debt.... does that make you, like... (Lesley: Doesn't make you a better person)... a freer person? A better person? (Lesley: No.) A better person and better business owner. A better whatever? No, it's just actually it's an accomplishment for sure. I'm not saying that it's not. But I, I don't think that, like, we're gonna have this, this like life changing experience, the day that we finished paying off our debt. It's gonna be a celebration in a moment, (Lesley: Oh, my God) but life is still gonna continue the way that life was.Lesley Logan 16:05  Do you remember when I paid off my student loans?Brad Crowell 16:07  Yeah, I remember you going, "Oh, shit. (Lesley: I paid them off.) I paid them off."Lesley Logan 16:11  There was no freaking glitter, confetti, balloons. Lesley Logan 16:15  Yeah, it was like seven o'clock, I was making dinner.Lesley Logan 16:17  I know, I got this email that says, "You pay, you made your last payment." And I was like, "That's it. That's what it feels like." (Brad: That's what it feels like) I was the same person. (Brad: Congratulations, Babe!) Congratulate... but the point is, is like, I literally did not change from before that email to after that email. And ...Lesley Logan 16:35  Yeah. The difference was, you had a couple hundred dollars more in your bank account each month (Lesley: Yeah) which, "Hey, that's a win."Lesley Logan 16:40  That's a win, but it doesn't... (Brad: It's huge win for sure.) It doesn't define you as a per... human being. And I also just want to say, I don't know how it works in different countries, but here in the States, your credit score is based on how you manage debt. (Brad: Yeah) And so being debt free doesn't actually make you a better person to give a house loan to. (Brad: Right) And so it's a stupid game, and we're all taught like, "Oh, my God, if you have debt, it's not great." And I grew up that way. I grew up in a household where there's a lot of debt, a lot of bill collectors calling, it's a really sucky situation to be in. (Brad: Sure.) And I saw what it did with my parents and what they how they felt about themselves, and how they showed up and how they, they how they felt in their marriage and how they felt as parents. And the reality is, is that like, I don't think I would have had different childhood. Like, the amount of money that was my childhood was not what made my childhood good or bad. The stress of, of how they may debt define them, that ... (Brad: That affect each other) affected me, that affected me, but (Brad: Yeah) like, you know, I didn't, who knows what you have versus what someone else has have. I don't know as a kid. So I'm just saying, I really ...Lesley Logan 17:48  It's not until you're in middle school in high school, that you're like, "Oh, they bought the bling jeans and I didn't get to buy the bling jeans." (Lesley: Yeah) But like growing up, I'm the same way my parents were incredibly frugal. And, you know, I mean, my mom would rather take me to the consignment shop and buy, you know, 10 pair of $8 jeans than one pair of $80 jeans. Like that's just the way that I grew up. So totally, I totally understand that. And I think that we allow this, this, like, I think that it becomes like a skeleton in our closet. And it becomes this, like, this, this, like this, this fear that like sits in our gut that like, "Oh, I have debt like if I if I try anything right now I could really like screw us all over because I still have debt" in addition to whatever it is that you want to go do. And I I don't want that for you. That's not reality. (Lesley: No) You know, we do obviously we have bills to pay, we got to, we got to make sure we can meet those, those requirements. But you know, I and I do think that it's important to be paying more than your debt balance. Like if you don't want to pay the minimums (Lesley: Yeah) it's just like a never ending cycle. But if we let no but I think what you said on the last episode, which I loved was it's not like we walk around with a chat bubble hovering over us that says, "Haha. Brad still has school debt because guess what? (Lesley: Right) Brad still does have school debt." You know, and "Brad's gonna have school debt for another 10 years."Lesley Logan 19:25  Well, yeah, or I'm just gonna keep praying that they go federal loans go away. But anyway. (Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 20:14  Right. But but it's but but because ... it sound like I advertise that right. So nobody needs to know that.Lesley Logan 19:37  And no one needs to know that but also like, it's a little freeing when you share it because it's like that skeletons out of the closet. But at this, it doesn't change who you are, and unless you let it. So (Brad: Right) if you I see this all the time in the people that I coach in the industry, I see people go, "I don't have enough money. I can't do that. I can't do it." And so then they're like sit in the back of the room or they feel like they can't be part of this group or the join this thing. And it's (Brad: Yeah) like, actually, like, you are an amazing human being already. And yeah, there's and then underneath that you have like, "Amazingness, amazingness, amazingness. Oh, also another thing is that debt." But that doesn't actually define you. It's just another piece of inventory. You also have a couch, you also have a car, you also have a Cadillac like you don't have. It's not like personality trait debt that (Brad: Yeah) doesn't... If you look at pe... personality traits or what makes a good human being, you don't see debt free on that list.Lesley Logan 20:32  Yeah. And I do think that, you know, the, you obviously want to be responsible with the debt that you have and the money that you have. But if you go look at businesses, (Lesley: Oh, my God) who are growing and value that millions and billions of dollars, they also carry debt, there is actually part of the game is that, you know, now I'm not saying credit card debt is to your benefit all the time. But you know, there, it's just a different perspective, we've been sold this story that, "You have to be debt free," and that's not necessarily the truth.Lesley Logan 21:05  Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice, but it's not going to again, I promise you, when you are debt free, no one is going to show up with confetti and glitter and balloons. There's not gonna be a frickin' party for you. It's gonna feel the exact same. You'll just have more money in your bank account. (Brad laughs) So be the person you want to be, (Brad: Yeah) Till you see the debt, be free. Boom! (Brad: We'll take that.) (Lesley laughs) Okay, well, look, no one's offering (Brad: Yeah) a marketing job over here. It's fine. All right.Lesley Logan 21:34  All right, (Lesley: Here we go.) All right. All right. So finally, let's talk about the BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Damari Gold?Lesley Logan 21:47  Oh, well, here it is. WaitLesley Logan 21:49  Yeah. I'm gonna jump ... (Lesley: You're go in first) I'm gonna jump in. (Lesley laughs) I think we swapped ours out here. Um ...Lesley Logan 21:55  No, I think we're good. I still, I got mine.Lesley Logan 21:57  Okay. So basically, (Lesley laugsh) basically, one thing she said at the very end of the interview was, "To put your vision out there." You know, I think for her, she was speaking from this very personally, because she was talking about how she wanted to do this, start her own business, she wanted to what she didn't, she wanted to want she didn't, it took a couple years. And, and she started to tell her clients or her friends, she started like, kind of on the side, "This is what's gonna happen, this is where it's gonna be, this is how it's gonna be," you know and then again, it's kind of like the money. You know, the crystals in your top drawer, where when you pull open your door to pull out your socks, you see that and you go, "Right? New clients, new clients, new clients." In this case, she's putting the vision out there, because you're (A) creating vulnerability. Right? You're you're making yourself vulnerable to other people, (B) you're consistently reminding yourself and those people are going to be looking at you like, "Is she going to do what she says?" you know, and (Lesley: Yeah) so it helps you stay focused, stay on track to get to where you want to be.Lesley Logan 23:04  Well, before we started this podcast, I was telling people, "I'm started a podcast." (Brad: Yeah, for like a year.) Yeah. "I'm started a podcast. I'm started a podcast." And then we recorded for four months before the pod came out. (Brad: Yup) But I started a podcast, but like, (Brad: Oh yeah) put it out there. But um, you know that even our even this house, this house, we knew this was our house, because we put the vision out there. No, maybe we didn't blast it on Instagram. Ve... most people were surprised we moved but like, our coach knew, the people in our group knew, (Brad: Yeah) they we had told them very specifically, we are looking for a house with this many rooms, with this much space, with this much this, it's gonna cost us this much. Put it out there. And then it was like when I when it came across my emails like, "Oh, this is this is a vision." (Brad: That's the one. Yeah) So yeah, I'm big on that, y'all, put it out there. Okay, my biggest takeaway is "Become more aware of how you're being supported with your goal." And I'm going to add a little bit to this, I think because I'm long winded. So first of all, awareness is the first step in everything, okay? And if you are like most human beings, you are very aware of how you're not being supported or how you're not working towards your goal or what you didn't get done. But very, very few, very, very rarely do we acknowledge, like what we did do, what is going well, who is supporting us, what is supporting us? And so I think it's really important that maybe at the end of each day, you just take a moment to think about like, the goal you're working towards and what did happen. So like maybe ...Lesley Logan 24:50  Maybe wins, micro wins.Lesley Logan 24:40  Micro wins (micro wins are so important.) Micro wins are gonna like really propel you. Oh my God, I'm reading the book, "Messy Middle." (Brad: Yeah. The Messy Middle) And like most of you need to make sure that your wins carry through because there's like highs and lows, highs and lows, (Brad: Yeah) highs and lows. FIrSo the other thing is is like in that awareness, get as much clarity as possible around the things that are in your goals. So like what we talked about with Brad's takeaway with put your vision out there. We literally wrote down, like, "How many rooms?" Okay. (Brad: Yeah) And when I hear people say things like, since we're going to talk about Damari Gold and we're talking about money, I hear people say that "Money is an obstacle." And I say, "How much money do you need?" I don't know. Awareness is so key. If you're not aware of how much money you need for your goal to happen. (Brad: Yeah) You're always gonna say that money is the obstacle. But what if you just need $500? You know, like, maybe you need $5,000, maybe $500,000. But have that awareness because it is actually going to help you achieve the things you're working towards. You have to really get clarity around that.Brad Crowell 25:49  You know, I'm going to add on to this (Lesley: Oh keep adding, were just gonna keep layering) ... another talking point that she said that we didn't bring up (Lesley: Seven layer cake.) (Lesley laughs) Yeah. She said that finances should serve as an affirmation, not as a trigger. (Lesley: Oh, I forgot about.) Yeah, that was like, that was that was a golden nugget right there that that was a Damari Gold nugget right there. (Lesley: Ooh) Ah. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan 26:12  And because we live in Vegas near the Golden Nugget.Lesley Logan 26:14  Golden Nugget. (Lesley laughs) All the things so so you know, you just said that ... What you just said made me think of that because I do think that we, you know, I for years, I was afraid to look at my bank account. It was just weird denial like thing where I was like, "Okay, if I only spent $6, I hope I'm sure there's going to be enough money in there. You know, and I would buy lunch or whatever." And and like, but I would just never actually log in and look at the actual total. And it like, I don't know, like, somehow I thought I was gonna be okay, if I ignored it. I don't know. Weird thing, right? Because ... (Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 26:53  I'm sure a lot of people listening to this are like, "Oh, that's me, too."Lesley Logan 26:56  Oh, yeah. No, I don't think that I was alone in that. And that's like, people avoid, I avoided and I thought that by avoiding it would make things okay ... wrong. I would then only deal with it when I bounced a check or my credit card, or my debit card would get declined. And then the now I'm in the hole because they charge you 35 bucks. Right? So, you know, this was this was after college and and when I was like hustling, trying to get any kind of work. And but but but money became this fearful thing. And the only way to to get like dig into that and change it is to actually embrace it head on. Right? And that's kind of what Damari was talking about finances should serve as an affirmation, not as a trigger. The affirmation, being, "I haven't ... I have $6 to buy my lunch. You know, I know because it looked at my damn bank account. And I can see that I have $1,000 in there. Yes, I can buy lunch for $6." As opposed to "I only have $1,000 in there. (Aaaahhh freakout session.) I (Lesley: Yeah) can't buy lunch for $6." (Lesley: Yeah) Right? So it says definite, you know, you're it's not something that you just easily do. But, but it's something to work on.Lesley Logan 28:08  We should call this a gold conversation. This conversation is gold our Aussies, they would have fuckin' loved it. They would loved it. (Brad laughs)Brad Crowell 28:15  Yeah, it's a gold convo.Lesley Logan 28:16  I got to add legend into a conversation, (Brad: Yeah right) then they'll be like, "What?" Well, um, gosh. I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 28:26  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 28:27  Thank you so much for joining us today. (Brad: Yeah) We are so freaking grateful you're here. How are you to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM to the pod on Instagram and we'll catch you in the next episode. Until then, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 28:41  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 28:44  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!Lesley Logan 29:12  'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Lesley Logan 29:16  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 29:24  Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.Lesley Logan 29:30  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 29:38  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.Lesley Logan 29:50  And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Knowing yourself, being curious, asking genuine questions... these are just some of the topics that Lesley and Brad covered during today's episode while recapping Dr. Kelly Bender's interview from the last episode. Also discussed was mantras, physical reminders and more.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:We're on week 3 of the OPC #100withme ChallengeCadillac flashcard deck will be available in the spring of 2022Putting physical reminders for yourself in your personal spaceMoney is all around meGoing to meet-ups that are not for your professionBe curious, ask questionsMaybe there's a better wayKnowing yourself helps you make clear decisionsEpisode References/Links:Join the OPC #100withme Challenge waitlistJoin the OPC Flashcard deck waitlistSend your questions into the @be_it_pod on IGIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan  Hey, Be It pod listener, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thanks for watching our podcast here on our YouTube channel. I'm just so grateful for you. I have a big favor and I'm, I mean, like, let me just say, "It's not easy for me to ask for help," but I need your help. I'm on a mission, I really want to change as many lives and help people, be it till they see it all over the world, and I need your help. We have been so grateful. The amount of downloads our podcast has had in just a short period of time is, it's amazing. That's insane. However, we also need more written reviews. So, and specifically on Apple. So even if you are watching here on YouTube, or you listen on Spotify, or you listen on Google Play, Apple podcast is where everyone looks to see which podcasts they should send people on for interviews. And, so we need lots of reviews to be there like a hundred written reviews. So, big huge favor if you could use the link below, go write a review, rate us, give us all the stars you love and let me know. Screenshot it, send it to me on a @be_it_pod. I just want to thank you for the bottom of my heart. We are truly, truly can't do this podcast without you. And, I'm just so grateful that these words hit your ears. And if you wouldn't mind writing us that review that would be amazing. And, I would be so forever grateful. Thank you and now here's the podcast you want love to listen to.Lesley Logan  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the inspiring convo I had with Dr. Kelly Bender in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to stop now. Go back to that one. Listen to it, you're gonna wanna listen to it, there's some good stuff in there. And then come back and listen to this or do it in the reverse order. However, you like to do things in your life. Maybe you're out washing the dishes (well, I don't know why you would be out washing dishes) maybe you're in washing the dishes, and you just have wet hands. You can't change the order of episodes. That's fine. It's gonna be awesome. No spoiler alerts. I'm really excited Babe though, because we are, we are finishing up week three of the #100withme challenge. And this one is like, it's so fun because the people who are on their third and fourth time around are like really getting like they're like, there's so much space and grace for themselves. And they have so much support for others and the people are on their first time are truly like owning it. They're like ... I mean, even when they get a little they've had a little head cold, whatever they're like, "I'm taking care of myself though. I'm laying in bed." (Brad: Nice) And like they're celebrating it. It's really fun.Brad Crowell  Yeah, it's been good. I feel like the more we do this challenge the the people who have been with us the whole time. They definitely get it and it's been great for them to kind of share the methodology, the thought process with the new people as they're coming in and to be encouraging and stuff. (Lesley: Yeah) So, it's cool to to be building a community (Lesley: Yeah) and to see people you know, getting to know each other.Lesley Logan  I know. It's really a lot of fun that we have our hype girls in there this time and they're they're having a lot of fun and you've been you've been doing the check in calls before me. We have people (Brad: Yeah) y'all, you don't know what this challenge is called #100withme because it's about giving yourself 100% with me and ... (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell  This is the "Me, Myself and I" theme.Lesley Logan  Yeah, I thought it was time because I just saw so many people getting back into their life after, you know, different lock downs and such and people were falling back into those bad. Oh, I mean, technically there's no such thing as a bad habit, but the life of going, being really busy doing things for others before they do things for themselves over scheduling themselves. (Brad: Sure) And so we just had to do ... I mean "Me, Myself and I" themed one, and it's go, I mean people are really "me, myself and I-ing." I love it. I love it.Brad Crowell  That's a that's a ...Lesley Logan  I made it. Is it a verb? Did I make it a verb?Brad Crowell  You made it a verb. You did. "Me, myself and I-ing" (Lesley: Yeah) Yeah (Lesley: Anyways ...) good for them.Lesley Logan  I know, good for them. (Brad laughs) Somehow, I make it about me, but I'm so proud of that. (Brad: I love it.) But actually we are going into week four this weekend. And this is where it's like you start to see the people cramming it in because they're trying to get there checkins but also you see people who are really getting into their flow. And I love that and that's why we do it for 30 days. Because, you know, the first week is super motivated, super exciting, it's new. And the second week is where like things life gets in the way and you start to... things happen. But then the third week we troubleshoot, and the four week, fourth week, you're like to hopefully in your groove, and if not, if you start in the week three, we had a few people start late, that's okay, because you have all the inspirations apart from the people who've gone through it with you. So you kind of you kind of learn it faster.Brad Crowell  Yeah. (Lesley: Yeah) And we've had some people who, you know, signed up, and then we're not able to really do it. And so they're just getting started. (Lesley: Yeah) Yeah, so it's good.Lesley Logan  Yeah, so if you are like this challenge sounds really fun. I want to be all about myself. Then you want to go to #100withme.com and go on the waitlist for the next one. But also, if you become an OPC member, you hear about it first and we will always give our OPC members an option. And I would just say if you are on the email list, there's a fun little announcement that's gonna go out about becoming an OPC member next week. (Brad: Watch out now) ... Watch that email. Anyways, that is something that is super exciting going on right now as we speak in real time. But before we get into the recap, do we have an audience question?Brad Crowell  We did, as you definitely heard us talk about here on the pod. We've had two decks of flashcards come out for Pilates flashcards, one for the Mat and the other for the Reformer. And somebody asked if we were going to be doing another deck on the chairs. (Lesley: Yeah) And we are ...Lesley Logan  We are that's not the next one though. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell  But that's not the next one. So, we're so grateful for your question. Stay tuned. Next will be the Cadillac ...Lesley Logan  It's the Cadillac and I'm really excited about it. It should be out in spring time, spring time.Brad Crowell  Yeah, in the spring and then the chairs should be out in the fall of next year.Lesley Logan  That is the plan and now that my team is already doing all the legwork for it. I can't back out (Brad laughs) so you will see that there is, Brad isn't there a fancy little shindig where they can like just get all deck alerts when it comes to upcoming decks. I pretty sure there is a waitlist for this. He will put it in the show notes. He's he's may feel like it doesn't exist but it does.Brad Crowell  I will, I will put it in the show notes now there was a waitlist at one point for the Mat and then we rolled it into the Reformer. So ...Lesley Logan  And then we rolled it into it all deck waitlist.Brad Crowell  We did yeah so we have we I will put it in the show notes. If you're interested in getting updates about the flashcards.Lesley Logan  My brain is like, "Meridith did it." (Brad: Yeah. She did it.) I'm hoping he read that brain (Brad laughs) message. I just sent it right across the table. Anyways, thanks for that question. I I'm so glad you're so enthusiastic about these deck cards. They're super, super fun for us. And I'm going to be really honest, these next decks are a little bit more tricky to put together because there is no order. And (Brad: Yeah) there's a lot of variations for things. And so, I'm really trying to put together the most comprehensive version of the deck that we can so that everyone including teachers or non teachers can use it for their tower and their Cadillac, and then more. So stay tuned. Thank you ... You can send any questions you have for us. It could be about life, business, Pilates, you know, a book you want to read, that neighbor next door who's driving you nuts, you can whatever and you can send it in at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. We'll answer in the next episode.Brad Crowell  Awesome. Well let's talk about Dr. Kelly Bender from last well from the last episode on Monday. I know you're so excited to talk (Lesley: I love her) about her because I know that she's one of your besties. (Lesley: She is) Dr. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. Trained in natural medicine, ketamine, regenerative medicine, bio identical hormone replacement therapy and peptide therapy. And I had no idea about most of that. I just was like, "Oh, our friend's a naturopathic doctor" ...Lesley Logan  And she's come to Cambodia with us. He has spent a week with her and a different country. No idea ...Brad Crowell  Yeah, but I didn't know about all these medical situations. So she's like, super focused on staying on the cutting edge of things. She's very plugged in. She helps you learn about your own body and how you can take care of yourself with a specifically individualized treatment plan. She's been both Lesley and my doctor for a while now plus a our friend for longer and I'm shocked to say like I said I didn't know most of her story. So it was super fun to listen to the two of you talking about that and I can absolutely envision her, knowing her, I can envision her you know, like talking herself into going to a meetup and then get put herself in the room and like intentionally, you know, like, she's great at talking to people. So, you know, once she got in the groove, I'm sure it was easy.Lesley Logan  She's also 100% great at listening to people because I spend time with her and I hang out with her and like we've been on the retreat with her. And it amazes me like she intently listens with a smile on her face. And her eyes are like locked in. And she's like listening. And it's really fun to be around. I've done some networking events with her, and, and I ... she's whatev... everything that she talked about doing inside the podcast she totally 100% owns and does like that was all real ...Brad Crowell  Well, there was a ton of takeaways and also a handful of BE IT action items at the end.Lesley Logan  Yeah, so I real... there's so many things I loved. I was listening to it again this morning. And I was like, "Oh, I love that, Oh, I love that. What am I going to choose?" So actually, I really loved about the partnership about putting things in your physical environment that make you feel that happiness in a desired state. And I think this is really true. I'm not I'm not quite certain if anyone's talked about having like a token or a talisman, that might be an episode coming out, that I talked to someone about, but it's like having something in your room that when you see it, it kind of snaps you into that experience and that feeling you want to have. And so she does have what she talked about she has two $100 bills on a seashell with an amethyst stone where she sits down so that she knows, "Money is all around me. Money's every... is all around me." (Brad: Yeah.) And I was like, "I think, I can do that. I need to put money just everywhere." (Lesley laughs) Would have been really helpful this weekend, when I left for different state without any credit cards whatsoever, I would have been really helpful. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell  I know, I know and I was like, "Here Babe, here's all the cash I have," I'm sure it was like $17 or something ... (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan  Thank you, you gave me that $17 because I was able to buy a cup of coffee. But I really did trust us like, "Money is all around, it's gonna be here." Anyways, I think that that's a really cool thing that people could do, it wasn't a BE IT action item. But like, if there is something that makes you smile, or if there is a scent that makes you feel a certain way, or like pick something, put it where you sit, put it where you are, so that you have this reminder of the desired state you want to be in.Brad Crowell  Especially, I think aroma therapy is so good at this, you know, it is like, you know, it can transport you to a different place with that. I think music can do this too. But to actually see something like a physical item that is there that can also be a really great trigger.Lesley Logan  Yeah, I love that. What is something you loved that she said?Brad Crowell  You know, I I'm always into getting out meeting people, you know, my, my, one of my strengths is "WOO," right, "Winning Others Over." So, I love to be in a room and meeting everybody. And she said something that I thought was really, really strategic in building a network. You know, when she first moved to Los Angeles, she said she was a doctor, she moved there and she didn't really know that many people. And she wanted to start meeting people. So she started networking. And so she would going she would go to these meetups, but her her friends were going her medical doctor friends who are going to meetups, we're going to medical meetups, and she said, "I intentionally chose business meetups, because I (a) I knew that doctors weren't ever going to become my patients down the road. And (b) you know, I knew that if I was gonna run a business, I was going to need help doing it. And I didn't know anybody to help me with it at all. So, I thought well, I might as well go meet people who do business stuff." And so she was in the room intentionally trying to meet people who were not like her. And I thought that was just really (Lesley: Oh, yeah) smart. It was like, Oh, yeah, that's, that's kind of obvious when you say it like that. But that's a great thing to be self aware enough to do that.Lesley Logan  It's something that I you know, this is not a Pilates business podcast. But so that Pilates friends out there, the teachers, the teachers listening, this is something I see constantly, they spend a lot of time in Pilates teachers' forums, and then their (Brad: Sure) selling to other Pilates teachers. (Brad: Right) But those teachers are not going to be your clients. (Brad: Right) So, it's really okay to spend time in other groups (Brad: Yeah) because even if those people don't become your clients, they could be the people who are the keys to the clients, you're going to have ... (Brad: Yeah, they'll connect the dots for you) I just say that because it's so true. Like we really need to put ourselves in rooms with people who don't do what we do, because it actually allows us to grow the thing that we're going to do.Brad Crowell  100% and and, you know, now she said, from those meetups, which, what she says 2010 or so like (Lesley: Yeah) 10 years ago. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? She's not only working with some of the people that she met, but she has some of those people have become clients too. So you know, it was a definitely forward thinking long term concept. But, you know, set herself up. So, bravo for her. I thought that was amazing. And, we can all be doing that too, even if it's not, even if we don't have any underlying, you know, specific reasons do it, you know, going to hang out with other musicians is great. But going and hanging out with maybe comedians is could also ... (Lesley: Right, because you could ...) a different perspective.Lesley Logan  Well, 'cause some comedians are adding music. So they'd be like, (Brad: Sure) "Oh, man you write a song for this," like, it's just really cool to put yourself in other people's arenas and and you just learn a lot, you there's just a lot you and I also find that you can have a better outlook on the thing that it is that you're doing when you hang out other people because it's, it's easy when you're hanging out people who already do what you do, to go into, "This is going wrong and this is going wrong" because they understand they don't, you don't have to explain anything. But when you are in a different arena, and you are talking to someone who doesn't even know what it is that you do, of course, you want to talk about it in this like, "Awesome," like because you want to go, "My job sucks." (Lesley laughs) You like want to say like, "Oh, I really love about this, and I get to do this. And this is really exciting." And so it does help you meet more people. And so whether you go into other rooms, because you're looking for friends, or you're looking for networking, it is an awesome idea. I think it's really great. So go do it. (Brad: Yeah) Let us know how it goes.Brad Crowell  Well, let's talk about the BE IT action items. So what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Kelly Bender? And I'll go first she, she said the she was talking about chatting with those other people. And she said, "Be curious," you know, that's the best way to connect with others is to be curious about them. And ask them questions, you know, genuinely ask them questions and learn about them and let them share with with you. And, I think that that's something that's applicable across the board. You know, ... when we have, I'm really guilty of this, I think I spend some time thinking about the thing, whatever the thing is, and I make a decision and I say, "This is the most efficient, this is the best way, this is the right way, this is the whatever you however you want to call it. This is how it should be done. Or this is how it is or this is you know, whatever." And then we we're like, "Great. I've ... made that decision moving on," then you don't think about it again. Right? And there's, you know, that maybe maybe you got it right. But maybe there's another way, maybe there's a better way who knows, right?Lesley Logan  Here what it's so freakin' funny. I just spent the weekend in Dallas, my friend Erika Quest, she was on the ... on the show earlier in the season. And she, whenever she talks about Brad, she's like, "Brad is literally the definition of curiosity." (Brad laughs) She's like, "Brad walked in to our backyard. And he is just like, curious about this plant and he's curious about this plant. And he researches this." And like, if you ask, like, "I wonder, how I can do this?" He's like, "You know, how we could do that?" And like you have you actually (Brad laughs) have a lot of curiosity. And she's like, "When is he going to tattoo?" Like curiosity on him because like that he is just like such that person. But I do think when it comes to like your own, like the way you do things in your house, or the way things you do in your business, it's easy to get set in your ways. (Brad: Yeah) But putting you you put yourself in situations that are unfamiliar, you are very curious. So, I think ...Brad Crowell  That's true. Yeah, I mean, especially when you're unfamiliar, you know, it kind of forces you to be curious to to survive. (Lesley: Yeah) So that's, that's if you're if you're trying to figure out how you can be more curious, go to a meetup or people you don't know. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan  Yeah. But I really love... she was just like (Brad: Yeah), "Ask questions." And we talked about this in the podcast already. But just a reminder, in case you're only listen to recaps, if you go, "I'm an introvert, I'm shy," whatever. Being curious, you can be introverted and shy. (Brad: Yeah) You just have to go, "Oh, tell me more about that. Oh, what's that like? Oh, are you having fun with that? Oh, how long you've been doing that for?" Like, you can just like ...Brad Crowell  One of the things that I asked which is really kind of started off in a snarky way. And now has become something that I just asked because it's turned into a great question is, "Is that a good thing?" (Lesley: Oh) Right? Because people make a statement and, and then I can't decide .... Like at first I was like, you know, kind of razzing him because it clearly didn't sound like it was a good thing. But now it's like, you know, because because it it kind of is a question that puts people that makes them think through, "Is it a good thing?" You know, and then they actually have to pause think about it and then respond to that. So that's another easy way to ask ...Lesley Logan  We're gonna have to put like Brad's conversation starter questions into (Brad laughs) a lead magnet. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell  Is that a good thing?Lesley Logan  Yeah, it is. I think everyone for holiday parties is gonna be like, "Ah, how do I get this conversation going?" (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell  That's pretty funny. I love that. Well, what about you, what what's your BE IT takeaway?Lesley Logan  I love to know yourself one. I think that this is a an obvious one and also like, "How and the heck do you do this?" And, I also think that you're if you're curious, you're going to constantly learning about yourself, you're gonna learn some things about yourself and you change a lot and different environments you kind of change where you maybe feel more comfortable where you don't. And so just knowing yourself and knowing like, "How many hours can I teach in front of people?" This is my question I asked myself going into this weekend before I'm like, "I need to be by myself" and I really was set up for success for this weekend. It was so fun, I only had a couple hours in a row and then I got a break and I was like, "Yep, that's where I'm at right now" and like just knowing that so then I got an email like, "Can you come teach us thing?" It's like four hours and a half and I was like, "Hmm, here's what I can do? I can totally do. Is there a way we can just split that up into two blocks?" Because I know myself and so I'm not saying yes to things that are going to possibly make stress me out or (Brad: Yeah) make me upset that I like change the boundary about myself. So the more you know about yourself the easier to say yes to things especially for those of you who are wanting to start some sort of side hustle like if you know you are not a night person when it comes to ideas. Really try to do yourself a favor to find "a morning" not every morning "a morning" where you can focus on that side hustle. If you know that like you get stressed out when the kids are around that is not the time to sit down and like swallow the frog and like work on the hard thing like that's the time to clean your inbox out. Make a fun game and so just really knowing what makes what lights your fire, what brings you joy, brings you energy. Kind of go back to the Rob Mack ... episode I think he's episode three and (Brad: I want to say two. Was it two?) No, no cuz two is a recap. Odds are guest interviews.Brad Crowell  Oh, right. Yes. (Lesley: Yes) The actual episode number three. (Lesley: Yeah) Nailed it. Nailed it.Lesley Logan  I'm so good. Anyways, he has happiness values and happiness islands and so he also did that as like confidence values, as a confidence islands on a talk you for Agency members. And so I think, one you're going to be constantly learning who you are. But if you are curious you will (Brad: Right) and you just keep making tweaks and changes like the beautiful thing going back to Erika Quest actually since we just spent the weekend together. She quotes Humble the Poet all the time. "We are not concrete, we are a construct and so the more you learn about yourself the changes that you'll make and then you'll experience that new change you made" and then you'll go, "Oh, oh I actually really liked that but I like it with water. Thank you." (Brad laughs) Like you're just gonna keep doing it. So, I say, "Know yourself that is a best way to be it till you see it."Brad Crowell  That's a that is amazing. And it's funny that's actually helped us with our business and our marriage because you're you are a morning ideas person and I am an a night ideas person. And so, you know, I know that I'm like completely ineffective in a brainstorming conversation first thing when I wake up, and you know, conversely, you are ineffective in at night when you're like, "I'm done. I'm ready to go to bed." (Lesley: Yeah. So we made it 10am) And yeah, so we we intentionally meet during the afternoon when both of us are firing at all cylinders because we know ourselves now.Lesley Logan  Right. And we don't try to change the other person. And I think that that's really key in any partnership, marriage or business. It's just if you can find a compromise, the middle of the day is really nice. And that might mean we can't meet with other people. But that's okay. (Brad: Yeah) That's what other times for. Yeah.Brad Crowell  I love it.Lesley Logan  I love this. I love the episode so much. Thank you, Dr. Kelly Bender for being our guests. And y'all, I want to know, Brad and I want to know how are you going to use these BE IT action in your life? Screenshot this. Tag us on Instagram. Tell us how you're going to use them and also tag Dr. Kelly Bender so that she can hear about it, too. It's going to bring her so much joy. (Brad: Totally) I just want to say this because it's so important that you know, every time you share this podcast, it is like gold. It is such amazing like you couldn't add more value if you wanted to. Like the best thing you can do for this podcast on any podcast you like is share it like even if you start in a text message, you talk about it. It's how the podcast grows. (Brad: Yeah) And we're on a mission to get hundred written reviews. 100 written reviews. So keep posting those because not only does it brighten my day, but it actually helps us get other guests and get other listeners to this podcast. We could bring more amazing episodes into your ears wherever you are in this world. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell  Bye for now.Lesley Logan  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!Lesley Logan  'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan  Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.Brad Crowell  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.Brad Crowell  And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dr. Kelly Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor and she joined Lesley today to talk about moving to a new city, starting a business when you didn't know anyone, and listening with curiosity. Then they move on to being your own health advocate, taking stock of how you're feeling and how to take care of yourself.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Moving to a new cityStarting a businessBeing your own health advocateKnowing when things are offGoing to meetups in a new cityListening and being curiousPut things in your physical Environment that make you feel that happiness or desired stateFind the people in the room who are not like youShare your story with other people - celebrate where you've come from, your vulnerability allows others to see what's possibleTake stock of how you're feeling and see where there could be potential improvementA big part of health is your mental/emotional healthGet your body physically feeling like you want it to feelEpisode References/Links:Dr Kelly Bender's IGThe Four Tendencies by Gretchen RubinSapiens by Yuval Noah HarariBelieve It by Jamie Kern LimaPure Vitality Rejuvenation Center's websiteGuest Bio:Dr. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. As a graduate of Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine, Dr. Bender is trained as an expert in natural medicine. After graduating summa cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Pharmacology & Toxicology from the University at Buffalo and top of her class in medical school, she has continued her training in cutting edge therapies. Ketamine assisted therapy, regenerative medicine, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and peptide therapy have been important additions to her practice to truly help individuals heal. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health so they can live their lives to the fullest. Dr. Bender believes it is important to understand the entire person in order to facilitate healing and offers each patient an individualized treatment plan to enhance their vitality. Dr. Bender enjoys teaching others, whether it be her patients or students at various medical schools. While she misses the fall weather back home in New York, she is happy to make Los Angeles her home.If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan  Hey! Hey you, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It. I am in love with this podcast and I'm in love with all of your takeaways and just the DMs we're getting and the questions you're sending us. It is incredibly, it's an incredible honor but also just so much fun for me and for Brad to bring news to you every single week. Today's guest is Dr. Kelly Bender. Not only is she a dear friend of mine, but she is a woman who definitely saved my life, my health. And I wanted to bring her in because she is a wealth of knowledge. And she has an incredible Be It Till You See It story. So for those of you who have moved to a new place, or you feel like you're new in something, you don't know what you're doing, I definitely want you to listen to the parts where she talks about being new in a city and starting a business without any information because they don't teach you that in school, and, and more. And then for those of you who are like not thinking about starting a business, there's still so much information in here on being an advocate for yourself and knowing when things are off. And so I really just think you're gonna find so many different gemstones no matter where you are in your life right now. So please do me a huge favor when this is all over, check out Dr. Kelly Bender on Instagram. And if you have any takeaways screenshot this and share it and tag us both so that we can see that it really does help us get this show out and and you know, we get to have more fun with you and with all the listeners. So thank you and right after this message is Dr. Kelly Bender.Lesley Logan  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan  Welcome to the podcast, Dr. Kelly Bender, and everyone who is listening. I'm so excited for you to meet this woman. I mean, you're gonna meet her in your ears. But if you're watching this on YouTube, you get to see your face. Y'all, this woman came into my life at a time when I needed her the most. And then she ended up coming on a retreat, so we got to know each other really well. But I happen to be in search of B12 shots. And this is where there's divine appointments and serendipity. I had heard about a space at about a mile from where I lived from an old client and then literally the old client they were going out for dinner and we ran into Dr. Bender and it became this wonderful friendship and I have her here because not only does she have a great Be It story, but she also has some great tips on like, reasons why maybe we just don't feel like being it all the time. So, Dr. Kelly Bender can you share with everyone, who you are, what you're up to all the things?Kelly Bender  Yeah, thank you so much for having me, Lesley, I'm really excited to be here. I love our conversations and I'm really excited that we get to record our conversations and other people get to hear what we talk about. (Lesley: Oh, I know ...) I think that it's so much fun.Lesley Logan  This is like a secret way for me to know more information. I'm just ... (Lesley laughs)Kelly Bender  Exactly. I'm so yeah, I am a California licensed naturopathic medical doctor, which means we try to look at the whole person and find out really what's going on with people. Instead of just giving medications or other things, we really do a lot of detective work to see if we can figure out why people are not feeling their best. My practice is here in Brentwood, Los Angeles, California, we do a lot of different types of therapies and modalities to try to pe... to get people to be really healthy and happy and vital. We try to have your body heal itself. And so I'm really passionate about helping people understand their bodies. And really, you know, not just do something because somebody told you to do it. I really want people to understand what's going on so they can make their own decision of, "Yeah, I want to take this thing today. I want to eat this way today because I know how it's going to make me feel."Lesley Logan  I love that that's probably another reason why we're friends. It's like the same way that I teach Pilates is I want people to be autonomous and I want them to know why they're doing an exercise and I want them to feel confident in choosing not to do that exercise to do something else and so I think that's really cool. There are very few people in the medical industry like you who are trying to help people be more educated and make a decision and almost it's almost like you're trying to teach them to be an advocate for themselves in their process.Kelly Bender  100%. Being an advocate and and you know your body much better than I do. Right? I've got the schooling, I've got the education. And so you know, hopefully I can be a guide. But at the end of the day, you're not going to call me every day and say, I mean, you could, you could definitely call me every day and say, "Hey, I'm feeling a little tired today. I'm feeling a little sore today, what do I do?" but that's not empowering for anybody. And that gets really, really expensive if you're going to do that. (Lesley laughs) So I would... I mean, "Hey, if you want to do that, I'm, I'm here. I'm happy to." But but I really want to empower people to understand and be intuitive with their body so that they can have an arsenal of all the different things and decide when they need to use them.Lesley Logan  Yeah, well, and also, I mean, expensive too and almost overwhelming. Like, you might, you might think this is really nice. And you want to check in with your, with your doctor every day. But then like, you might have that rebellion. But it's like if you know, the four tendencies, it's an obliger-rebellion, when like, you're just like, "I'm over this." And so I think, (Kelly: Right) so much better to have the tools to do your own journaling, doing your own tracking, and then do check ins and tweaks when you feel like something is off. And so while it I wasn't off, and then I want to get into how you got started. How, like, what is the best way to give people the confidence or just feel okay with sometimes you might think something's off and then we are we tend to talk ourselves out of it, we tend to like excuse that off feeling like, "Oh, I just ate something bad" or "Oh, I just had a bad night's sleep" or, you know what I mean? Like, when is it that something is off? And when is it that we are? I don't know if I if you understand the question, I'm saying, but do you I mean?Kelly Bender  I do. Yeah, as humans. Okay, so there's this old adage of boiling a frog, right? So how do you boil a frog, if you put a frog in hot water, it will jump out. But if you put it in cold water, and you slowly turn up the temperature, it will just become complacent and say, "Oh, this is warm, this is warm, this is warm" to the point where it's boiling. And as humans, we we do that, right? We are adaptable, that's one of the strengths that we have as a species is we are really highly adaptable. And so oftentimes, you know, it's a slow, slippery slope to "Oh, I had, you know, I had some gas one day, but you know, it's just because I ate a lot of vegetables." And then, you know, you have diarrhea for a few days that "Oh, you know, it's because I was stressed," and then you've constipation for a few days. And it's, "Oh, it's because I was traveling." And then before you know it, it's six months down the down the line, and you haven't had a normal bowel movement for six months. Right? And so I think there is this fine line, and maybe it's not so fine. But there's definitely a line between being overly conscientious and overly anxious about our health where, yeah, you know, we all have days where we're a little ga... more gassy, we all have days, where, you know, things are a little bit more sluggish, or we're a little more tired. So just keeping track of it. And more than anything, if you can, if you can kind of get in touch with your body. I think a lot of times we're just show disconnected, we're still in our brain, right? And so you're thinking, you know, we go on WebMD, and you're thinking and it's all up here, right? It's like, "Oh, man," you know, fatigue and, and, you know, constipation and acid reflux, and you go and you're thinking about all the things that could be wrong. (Lesley: Right) More so I would say, sit with yourself, as opposed to looking externally, sit with yourself and say, "Okay, is this a feeling that I've had in the past? Did that feeling go away on it's own?" You know, "Is it just a temporary one day thing?" You know, "Does this feel abnormal to me," right? And so if it's a day or two, and it goes away, probably, you know, nothing to worry about. But if it's a day or two every week, then I would say, you know, track it a little bit. And if they're consistent, then something to pay attention to, but more than that, like really sit with your body and say, "Does this make sense? Why this is happening?" Oh, every time I eat dairy, I have friends who are lactose intolerant, and they still eat dairy all the time. And then ...Lesley Logan  ... remember to do that and I'm like, "You can't eat it. That's like that's why you feel the way you feel." (Lesley laughs)Kelly Bender  Right? Right. That's the way you feel the way that you feel. And so you know, and then they get confused because they're like, "Oh, well, I eat dairy, dairy is in everything" and then their stomach is just never good, good. (Lesley: Yeah.) And then and then something else is happening like they have dysbiosis or they have a food sensitivity. You know, stress can also impact your digestion, and so they get confused between, "Oh, I never feel good because I'm always eating dairy" versus something else is going on. So it kind of masks that symptom. So, in general, if you're electing to do something that makes you feel not as well, I would take a break from that every once in a while to let that go away and see really how you feel. Same thing with like drinking alcohol.Lesley Logan  That's a great, that's actually really something anyone can do. You're not it's not like we're saying, do an elimination diet, it's like, the thing that makes you not feel so good, stop doing it and to see like what your baseline is, and, and you know, and what, and then you can be really in tune. And I just think, what I love that the common thread there is like, how are you feeling and what's normal for you. And it makes sense, because there really is no one size fits all what I love so much about interviewing different, amazing people like yourself is every time I ask them at the end, we'll and we'll ask you later, like, what are your steps to be in it, no one is repeating the same thing. So like, we're all so different. (Kelly: Yeah) And that means our health is going to be very unique. And so what feels normal to you and is going to be different, I want to take a step back to you starting this practice, because it's not easy to start any business. And if you you don't have like this, like bank account that's just rolling you through. It's very scary, and not only to do sort a new practice. But it's also very unique practice, because it's not something that you see everywhere. But you also started in a new city. And so I think a lot of people listening might be afraid to start something new and that they have the excuse. Well, "I'm new here. I don't know anyone," like I just really want them to hear your story. So, how did you get your practice going?Kelly Bender  Yeah, so um, I really believe in, you were talking about like, you know, divine (Lesley: appointments) interventions or divine appointments. And, you know, I'm I'm a planner, I am a I am a builder, I'm a designer. And throughout medical school for four years, I was designing what I thought was going to be my life, my practice, what I was going to do, and I will tell you right now, none of it happened that way. (Lesley laughs) 0%, 0%, and I'm so glad, I am so glad that it happened the way that it happened. And it turned out even better than I planned. Right? So, medical school - shocker - you don't learn how to run a business (Lesley: No) in medical school. Right?Lesley Logan  No. So, why teachers don't either fitness instructors or either lawyers, either. I'm like, "I don't even know (Kelly: No) what people are going to school for." Because they don't actually why they can't be, it's why a lot of people aren't successful in those things. And it's, or they have imposter syndrome, because how you don't know what you don't know.Kelly Bender  You don't know what you don't know. And and you know, enough in medical school to to be scared. Because you know, when medicine there's a lot of liability, right? There's a lot of rules of what you can and cannot do. So so go back to 2013, I originally wanted to work for a nonprofit. I started a nonprofit when I was in medical school. We did free care for people like low income people in the States. And we also have clinics in Mexico, Haiti and Thailand. And so (Lesley: Cool) I that's what I, yeah, so that's what I thought I was going to do my whole four years of medical school, that was the plan. And then I realized in my fourth year how much debt I was going to have and how much I needed to pay every month to be able to pay that off. And working for a nonprofit was not a good option at that point. So, I quickly pivoted and decided to move to LA, because why not? My brother lived here and I had come out to visit. I'm originally from New York. And so I knew that I wanted to try something different. I knew I didn't want to go back to the cold weather. And I figured I'll give it a try. If I don't like it, I can always move again. So, so I moved out to California, I moved out to Los Angeles without really knowing anyone, anyone and decided to start a business. So I found a little office space to rent and I read a lot of books and I read a lot of blogs and I watched a lot of YouTube videos on how to set up a corporation and I was sitting in this little bedroom that I rented out in a house with this this older lady and I remember like sitting on my bed, filling out the fictitious business paperwork and feeling anxious. Am I doing this right? I don't have money to pay for a lawyer. You know, (Lesely: Oh) if I do this wrong, what's going to happen?Lesley Logan  I um completely understand, and I love the visual of you sitting in a little office just like watching YouTube videos on how to do this. Because that's, I mean, like, a lot of people might be like, "I want to get started," honestly, that's what we that's what everyone gets started and everyone is like, "Am I doing this right? I don't know, I can't afford a lawyer to look this over." Sure, hope so I remember I got a letter in the mail from LA. They're like, "We can see you're doing business here. So here's what you owe us in taxes." I was like, "Oh, well, thanks for letting me know. Not a problem. Here's a check." I was like, "Thank God, they did ..." So they don't arrest you, but they will (Kelly: Yeah) send you a bill. (Lesley laughs)Kelly Bender  Right. And usually, there's some late fees associated (Lesley: Yeah) (Lesley laughs) with, you know, much cheaper than (Lesley: My lawyer, yeah) otherwise, that could turn out much cheaper than a lawyer, much cheaper than a lawyer. Yeah, it's like, "Okay, great. I'll..." And you know, most places where people open businesses, they want you to be successful, right? You're, you're part of the economy, you're driving, you know, you're driving the economy. So they want to get their money because their business too, but usually, they'll they'll work with you. And they'll let you know, like, "Hey, this is how you were supposed to do it. You're delinquent, you have to pay us some extra money. But like, here's how to do it right." And so, yeah, when I first got to LA, man, what it is like, what a different world from the East Coast where I grew up from Arizona, which is where I did my medical school. So I came out here and knew almost no one, set up my business, didn't know what I was doing from a business standpoint, you know, had to figure it out pretty much on my own. I didn't have business mentors, I didn't grow up around people who owned their own businesses. It was not part of my, my culture, it was not part of anything I'd ever seen done before. And so honestly, one of the things that I did that was the most helpful was I started going to meetups, five or six nights a week, when I first moved to LA, this was, you know, pre COVID, obviously. So ...Lesley Logan  Yeah, something went possible, but I (Kelly: Yeah) so I love this part of you, getting out there, getting to know, getting to get your business started was like getting just going to places to, just finding places you could immerse yourself, (Kelly: Yeah) which is super scary. So, what did you tell yourself before you walk into these rooms?Kelly Bender  It's so interesting. So, I specifically went to meetups that were not medical related. So most of the people I knew who were doctors, they went to all these medical ones to network with other medical professionals, there was like, first of all, I want to friends who are not doctors. Second of all, I like you're not going to become my patients, your doctors. And third, I actually went to a lot of one of them that were like business oriented, because I was like, "I need friends or people who are in business to help me learn how to do this." And so, you know, I would I would psych myself up. And I this is not a thing that I love to do. So I really, you know, there was a lot of anxiety before everyone, but I was like, you know, what's the worst that can happen? That's what I would tell myself, "What's the worst that can happen? You're going to go, you're going to meet some interesting people. And if you don't like them, you never have to see them again." So that's the nice thing about meetups is everybody is there to network. So different than going to a bar or something like that, like, everyone knows that's the deal. So you go up and you tell your story, and you hand out business cards. Um ...Lesley Logan  How did you (Kelly: and it was ...) introduce yourself? Because I feel like this is like where I could ultimate Be It moment could be because you didn't have like a thriving practice at this point yet you were filling (Kelly: I know) out forms. So, how, what was the introduction that you gave?Kelly Bender  Yeah, so most of the time, like I said, I was the only doctor there. I remember really specifically going to these tech startups, because I love technology. And I was like, "Oh, these people don't know anything about health." They're, you know, a bunch of guys most of the time. And I know this is a stereotype but it's true. A bunch of men in a room eating like cheetos and drinking soda, right? (Lesley: Yeah) And so, and now they're the people who have money, right? (Lesley: Yeah) Who can afford kind of like alternative care. And so I would go to these a lot of these types of meetings. And listen, that is that is the most important thing. Most people go into these situations, and they're just focused on getting other people to know what they do. Right? So everyone is talking past each other because everyone's primary goal is to download my information to you. Right? And so I just went in and I listened and I was curious. Those I think are the two big things for me was was listening and being curious. And then I would say, "Oh, that's you know, that's really interesting. You do X, Y or Z. Have you ever considered this thing over here?" And I would just ask really interesting questions about them or their work. And then people got interested in me. Right? Then they would say, "Oh my gosh, that's such a great question. No one's ever asked me that question before. What do you do? Are you a CEO? Are you a venture capitalist? What do you do?" And I would just sit there and say, "I'm a doctor." Mind blown! (Lesley laughs) Every single one of them, they were like, "Whoa, okay, like, tell me about what you ..." and then and then they were really engaged. Right? ... that that was the way ...Lesley Logan  This is so cool. I hope you're all hearing this. This is if you have anxiety in rooms, if you are wearing an introvert flag, if you are wearing the shy flag, like here, she didn't, she actually went and listened, which is some, it's actually, it's not actually easier to do, but it's definitely less anxiety producing and then you got curious. And then and then because of that, they're super intrigued by you, which is like the best thing and building relationships. And so ... (Kelly: Totally) how so how many meetups did you go to? Like, how many? Or do you still go to them.Kelly Bender  So, I stopped probably after about a year and a half, or maybe about a year, I was going to no lie five or six a week, and a lot of them are the same. So, I would go you know, every month or so and kind of keep up with some of the same people. And they you know, would become patient or they would become friends. A lot of the friends that I have here in LA are from these, these meetups, you know from eight, nine years ago. And so it helped me build a build a network, it helped me build friends. And, and it helped me build my business acumen. I consult so part of, you know, I have my medical practice, but I also do a lot of consulting with businesses from the medical side. So, I will be the medical expert, if somebody wants to start any sort of medical type business. And I also consult with doctors and clinics, in how to set up their business and set up their operations. So, I have become kind of this bridge.Lesley Logan  Yeah, you also (Kelly: between the two) have, it's like the ultimate Be It, like you were acting as if, like so you're doing all the things to start a business, then you (Kelly: Yeah) change your environment many times because you move but also like you change people you surround yourself with. And then you and now you are literally being the consultant, being the guy, being the thing to everyone else and in your industry, and then also people who want to have a part with your industry, that is so cool. It's like no stopping it. So, okay, um, this, this is really interesting. Um, I want to go to the, the the be... changing your environment up, because I do think that that is where a lot of people get stuck, you know, especially if you're like, "Well, Lesley and Kelly, I can't move. I can't move to LA, (Kelly: right) how do I do this?" So for the person who's like, not able to physically move to change their environment, what are some tips you have for them to change the surroundings that they're in to be able to not just be a bridge, but to be it and to get get connected with more people?Kelly Bender  Yeah, so I mean, there's, there's different pieces to your environment, I personally find space, like the environment that I'm in, in my home, at my office to be really important and impactful for me. So even if you're just kind of moving things around, or getting lovely plants ... from my plant ...Lesley Logan  If you're watching us on YouTube, you will have to see all the plants, I mean, her plant game is strong.Kelly Bender  It makes me so happy, honestly. So, you know, one of the big things that I tell people you know, the Be It Till You See It kind of thing is, "Putting things in your physical environment that make you feel happy, or that make you feel that desired state." So one of the things is I I've got, you know, I've got my plants, I've got my crystals, you know, I've got all of the things that kind of just make me feel like, I'm that person. And one of the biggest things that changed. I had some money mindset stuff. You know, being a doctor, being a care provider, I just like giving care for free, right? Like, I just wish I could give care for free. It makes me feel so good. But that's not a sustainable business model. (Lesley laughs) And so, so what I did when I wanted to change how I felt about money was I took two $100 bills and put it I have this little kind of seashell type thing that I put them in with with my amethyst from when I was little on top of it. And it's right over here where I do my work and I just have it there and it's like, you know, money's around, money is available if I need if I need a hundred bucks, I could grab it from there. Right? I don't, because I'm just putting it there. But physically putting the things in your space to remind you of what you want to grow and what you want to focus on, I think is really important. (Lesley: Oh, I love this.) Yeah. And then absolutely, like, changing, not changing, but adding people to your, to your environment, to your to your friends group, find the people who are not like you. That's, that's what I would say, a lot of times, we tend to, you know, be friends with the people that are very similar to us, because they reinforce our, our beliefs, and you know, it makes us feel good about ourselves. But I would, I would encourage you to find people who are very different from you, because they're going to have life experiences, and they're going to have skill sets that are complimentary to yours that you might, that you might need, or you might benefit from. I started working with very, very, very, very high net worth individuals, and completely changed how I saw life, how I, how I saw my own, like how I run my household, just seeing how people run their household, how they run staff, helped me understand what was possible.Lesley Logan  I couldn't agree more. Having moved, I've definitely, environment change, but also like building new relationships out here. And it's a little tricky in a COVID world. So really, our life in Las Vegas started April 2021. We're like, "Okay, we're going out, we're excited (Kelly: yeah) about this, we're going to meet people," but I've been really conscious of meeting people that I normally wouldn't meet, that I nor.... that I normally wouldn't have a reason to connect with. And that is does take effort, but I think it is so important. I also having been from a family that was not entrepreneurial like me, not that they weren't, there just wasn't anyone own their own business, you know, in my immediate family. For me to learn from to see that was possible, having clients in LA who do have that high net worth, you hear what they stress about, which was not what I was stressing about, you hear it like, "And there's some good and bad things, they don't do everything, you don't need to assume all of their behaviors," but you do see possibilities and I and that I'm grateful for the time I had in LA, because literally you learn that you can just create money because or that money is all around because people just find it. And they the people who are creating businesses, there aren't like going, "Oh, you pull my savings." They're like, "Oh, no, I'm raising money for this." And you're like, "You can raise like, people just give money for things?" Like ... (Lesley laughs)Kelly Bender  Right? What? (Lesley: Yeah) Yeah, I really do think, you know, one of the most important things, I think for the Be It Till You See It is sharing your story with other people. And so, you know, even if you don't think that you are where you want to be, right, sharing your story, either where you are, where you've been, is, is helpful for you to celebrate how much you've changed, or where you've come from, which I think is really important. And that vulnerability with other people, just like we're doing now it allows them to see what's possible. And then they share with you, you know, maybe I've had patients who are extremely successful in business, like, you know, financially really successful. And they, you know, they see that as a success, but they want to be more successful in let's say, their spiritual life or their mental emotional life. And, and so when I hear their stories of how they've worked through things from a business standpoint, I'm like, "Oh, that's how you do that." And then they hear my stories of how I worked through, you know, emotional things, or you know, family things or trauma that's happened. And they're like, "Oh, that's how you do that." (Lesley: Yeah) So it's, it's sharing with people who have all different experiences, I think is for me, the most important.Lesley Logan  Well, and you know, we the reason that the human humans as a species have evolved and survived is because of stories. And like if you read the book Sapiens, it's like this whole the ability to storyteller is how we survive tigers and holes. And then also we can share things. We can keep talking for hours, but I have to ask this one question before (Kelly: Yeah) we take a break. I want to because I'm sure people are going, "Okay." But we got this doctor on the show. Is there anything that we can be doing, supplements anything I know that you're we can't just prescribe things so we're not prescribing anything (Kelly: Yeah) but are there are there tips for people that they might want to pay attention to, that might be holding them back health wise from be it till they see it.Kelly Bender  Yeah, that's a that's a great question. So again, I would say, you know, take stock of how you're feeling and see, you know, where you think there could be some potential improvements, I would say a big, a big part of health is your mental emotional health. And especially with being it until you see it, you want to make sure you're in a really good mind state, right? They talk about like, these flow states, which flow state is basically like alpha brainwaves, it's actually how your brain is functioning. And so you know, doing meditation or journaling or breath work or something to physically get your body into that flow state. You know, get your body physically feeling like you want it to feel, even if you're like, "You know, I feel really good today," or getting up in the morning and doing a dance party and that, you know, I have so much energy, even on the days you don't have energy, right? It's okay, if you don't have energy, you don't have to push yourself or you know, pretend that you're some way but, but if you're like, "Okay, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna, I'm gonna move my body and I'm gonna get into the mind state of, you know, I'm energized, I'm, I'm feeling strong," that will help your brain get into the, get into that loop or that pattern of, "I'm feeling good, I have energy," you know ...Lesley Logan  I love that it just kind of goes back to like just getting to know yourself and then also like, an even on the good days practicing it and not just the days that we need it like, that's, (Kelly: Yeah) that's the trick. (Lesley laughs)Kelly Bender  Yeah, and also so like smiling, even if you don't want to smile, right? Just our body remembers these cues. And so just smiling can actually change your your brain chemistry. So if you're not feeling really good, just go look in the mirror, and smile and work on gratitude and let that sink in. And that will actually change your biochemistry that will actually change your neuro chemistry. So, you know ...Lesley Logan  You know what I love about all this, none of it is taking anything like in, it is all things so you have the power of doing all of them are free things. All of them are ways to be in the state that you really are trying to be in all the time and so thank you for that. That's I love being surprised but also you know, it made me think of this one thing. Jamie Kern Lima's book "Believe It," she gave a tip of like giving people what you need. So, if you're needing like (Kelly: Yeah) someone to see you, make sure you look at people in the eye and smile at them and see them (Kelly: Yeah) so they're gonna do ... they're gonna see how and they're gonna smile right back, you know, or if you're (Kelly: Absolutely) if you're needing people to love you, give people love and you just this amazing reciprocity thing. So all right, Dr. Kelly Bender, where can people find you? How can they follow you? Become your friend, stalk you a little bit? Where do you hang out?Kelly Bender  Um, Kreation Cafe in Los Angeles. (Lesley laughs) I'm most most of the time you can probably find me there.Lesley Logan  Do you get the pumpkin bread?Kelly Bender  No, it has eggs in it.Lesley Logan  Oh, I don't think so, well, I get it's vegan. Check it out ...Kelly Bender  Well, I have to look at it. Okay, I have to get the vegan one ...Lesley Logan  Check it out because I get a vegan one because I can't do the eggs either. I get a vegan (Kelly: I know) and they have a paleo bread as well that (Kelly: Yeah) is egg free. So anyways,Kelly Bender  They they have a vegan gluten free brownie. (Lesley: Oh) It's the best thing ...Lesley Logan  With CBD in it by the way.Kelly Bender  They do have on the CBD. I don't get the one with CBD. (Lesley: Okay) But it is it is the best thing ever ... So ...Lesley Logan  It is like ... that they did ... it's really hard to do vegan gluten free brownies. (Kelly: I know) And they did a great job because it doesn't just crumble all over you. It's moist. It's gooey. (Kelly: Yeah) Anyways, they did not sponsor this podcast, but every time (Kelly laughs) I go to LA, I do go to Kreation and stock up and when my husband sees it in my purse, he just laughs (Lesley laughs)Kelly Bender  Yeah. Nailed it. So yes, most most days you'll probably find me there for some one of the one of my meals. But my clinic is in Brentwood, Los Angeles. It's called Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center. The website is www.purevitalitycenter.com. So you can go and check us out on the website. We also have Instagram, which have been doing some more Instagram lives. I think I'm going to try and do an Instagram live every day for a week. (Lesley: Oh so fun.) Even if it's just like two or three minutes because Instagram keeps updating and every time I go to save the live to my role. Something else is different that I can't figure out how to do it. So I think I just need to you talk about you know (Lesley: Be It Till You See It ... I love it) Be It Till You See It ... I'm gonna be this Instagram, awesome person, and I'm gonna practice and practice and practice. And then hopefully by the end of the week, I'll actually be a professional at it.Lesley Logan  I love it. Yeah, I just have to say this, I have three Instagram handles, right and which is annoying. And here's what I hate the most is when one of them updates, but the other two don't. So currently on the @be_it_pod Instagram, where how I share my story is very different than how I did on the other two. And I'm like, "Alright, y'all, this is ..." (Kelly: no) I'm a I'm a native ada... a tech adapter, right? I am attack native, elder millennial (Kelly: yeah) right here, you (Kelly: yeah) can't give it to me, change them all at the same time. (Lesley laughs)Kelly Bender  Right, or just don't change them. I honestly just be two and a half minutes yesterday when I started my Instagram live, to figure out how to do it. So anyway, um, you can follow me on Instagram at @purelyvital p u r e l y v i t a l. I think I'm going to try to do that the next week or so. We'll see technically, you know, all the all the technical parts ...Lesley Logan  Well, we'll have all of these links in the show notes. Kreation, you'll just have to look up I don't want to actually stalking her. So okay, so I asked every guest this and you've given some great tips. So if you want to just recap them, that's totally fine. But I think it's really awesome to be inspired. But I actually think people need to take messy action because that's where clarity comes from. That's where anxiety is overridden. So bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps that people can do to be it till you see it, what are your favorite things to do?Kelly Bender  So the first thing is know yourself, honestly, I think for me, that's the most important piece. Also, do the things that you want to do. Don't wait till you have the money. Don't wait until you have the time. Because you'll never have what you want of both things. So you and I have our boozy spa days. And it's like, we just put it on the calendar. And we go and we do it. So do do the things that you want to do. And also, I would say be curious, be curious about yourself. Be curious about other people. Really, you know, try to look at the world through the you know, through the child's eyes, or you know, through the novice lens, because that's going to help you grow into what you want to be, but also help you see when you've become that.Lesley Logan  Oh, those are juicy. I love them. I'm ... excited. This is my favorite part of the podcast because I'm like, "Oh, I'm gonna try that one. That one's new for me." Dr. Kelly Bender, thank you for being here on the show. Everyone, thank you (Kelly: Thank you) so much for listening. Do us a humungous favor, screenshot this podcast right now. Tag pure, @purelyvital, and @be_it_pod and put your takeaway on here so that we can see what your favorite part of this show was. And do us a favor and make sure you share this with your friends that is how this podcasts gets out. That's how all podcasts get out. So if you love a podcast, you could share it every week. Don't worry, I will still love it. It will still feel fresh and new to me. So thank you so much and until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!Lesley Logan  'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan  Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.Brad Crowell  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.Brad Crowell  And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Today our guest is Kelly Bender, indie comic book creator, and today writer for video games. He will talk to us about his journey, which will take us from Canada to China. You can find Kelly on Instagram: www.instagram.com/kellybender17 And on Twitter: www.twitter.com/kellybender17 Geekdom Empowers links: Website: www.geekdomeempowers.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/geekdomempowers/ Twitter: twitter.com/GeekdomEmpowers Facebook: www.facebook.com/geekdomempowers TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@geekdomempowers

Ten years ago, Kelly Bender was a single mother looking for a flexible way to continue her career in tax advising. After exploring several options, she decided that entrepreneurship was the right path for her, and she launched Total Business Solutions. Kelly eventually remarried, and her husband joined her in the practice. Over the years, several of their children have also worked in the business in various capacities. Recently, Total Business Solutions expanded with an acquisition of an accounting firm in Butler, PA, which will provide ample growth opportunities for their staff.Kelly is an enrolled agent, which is a designation awarded by the IRS to federally authorized tax practitioners who have met the necessary qualifications. Instead of the traditional model where a tax consultant may only see a client once per year, her firm's relationship-based approach means that they are advising clients on a more frequent basis. This high-touch, personalized service is one of the things that sets Total Business Solutions apart from the competition. In this episode, Kelly talks about the tough decisions that her clients had to make during the pandemic and why it's important to keep things simple when starting a business.If you have any questions or if you'd like to chat, you can reach me at my contact info below. The purpose of this podcast is to share ideas, inspire action, and build a stronger small business community here in Pittsburgh. So please say hello, tell me what you think, and let me know how I'm doing. It means a ton!YOU CAN REACH ME AT:Website: https://www.proprietorsofpittsburgh.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/proprietorsofpittsburghpodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/proprietorsofpittsburghpodcastLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darinvilanoPhone: 412-336-8247YOU CAN REACH KELLY BENDER AT:Website: http://www.dktbs.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Total-Business-Solutions-216610258422482

What precautions should you be taking to protect yourself against the novel coronavirus? Join David Ackert as he interviews Dr. Kelly Bender, ND, in this episode of the Market Leaders Podcast. Tune in to learn: — How the coronavirus travels, and just how much "social distancing" is required — The science behind washing your hands for 20 seconds — How to keep your immune system healthy in a time of crisis

Medical and Naturopathic Doctor, Dr. Kelly Bender Discusses the Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) including; protective and preventive measures, symptoms, misdiagnosis, health risks, and the people that are the most susceptible to the virus.    Dr Kelly. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. Her clinic, Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center is located in Brentwood, here in Los Angeles. Dr. Bender is trained as an expert in integrative and regenerative medicine. After graduating summa cum laude with a bachelors of science in Pharmacology & Toxicology from the University at Buffalo and top of her class in medical school she has continued her training in cutting edge therapies. These included peptide therapy for longevity, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and regenerative therapies like exosomes and stem cells. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health so they can live their lives to the fullest. Dr. Bender believes it is important to understand the entire person in order to facilitate healing and offers each patient an individualized treatment plan to enhance their vitality.  

Dr. Kelly Bender, ND, of the Pure Vitality Center in LA returns - with much better audio quality!  Another great convo talking stem cells, peptides, fasting, and more... an especially good one if you're interested in biohacking! cultivatewellnesspodcast.com @cultivatewellnesspodcast Always brought to you by Peoples Rx, Austin's Favorite Pharmacy!

Dr. Kelly Bender, ND, of the Pure Vitality Center in LA joins us to talk anti-aging and reversing cellular damage with peptides, stem cells, and much more.  What these technologies can do is amazing!  And thanks to Audiomarvel on Fiverr for making the audio bearable - it started off horrific, but he fixed that. Web: cultivatewellnesspodcast.com Social: @cultivatewellnesspodcast As always brought to you by Peoples Rx, Austin's Favorite Pharmacy!

Pastor Kelly Bender

Kelly Bender and her husband Mike worked years to create a family business on Prince William Sound in Whittier, Alaska. Watch this video to see one of the most gorgeous landscapes in life, and listen as Kelly shares her passion and advice for anyone else who wants to realize a dream similar to hers, one that includes the whole family.  http://5ed.8db.myftpupload.com/

The Insane Comics Spotlight this week shines on writer Kelly Bender. Not only is there talk about his Insane Comics & Top Cow published work, but we also discuss living in Singapore, how to effectively use social media for promoting one's comic work, and cooking!

Is it extreme to shoot up vitamins? How far would you go to feel good and be healthy? I've gone to some pretty insane lengths to optimize my performance, sometimes with mixed results. In this episode, Dr. Kelly Bender & I dissect some of the extreme health hacks I’ve tried, to find out exactly which of them has actual scientific validity and which do not. For example, do you know how dangerous heavy metal toxicity is to your body, and how you get rid of it? It turns out it's pretty tricky. And expensive. We also discuss the best sleep practices and some very innovative things that you can do to eliminate pain in your body. Dr. Bender is a licensed Naturopathic Doctor trained as an expert in natural medicine. Her approach to cutting edge therapies include intravenous nutrient therapy, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and regenerative therapies like Prolotherapy. She’s based in California and enjoys teaching her patients and students at various medical schools. Sit back and enjoy our very intelligent and relatable guest, Dr. Kelly Bender. I'm stoked to share this show with you. Take a moment right now to share it with someone else. Blessings to you and yours, Luke Storey

Brubaker's Cap, Worst X-Man Ever 1, Favorite Superhero Runs, Kickstarters (Alter-Life, Morgan's Organs), Snarl by Kelly Bender, Salvagers by Bob Salley, Timely Comics, Iron Fist Casting, Extraordinary X-Men by Lemire, X-Line in general and the Comics Countdown 24 Feb 2016. Favorite Runs: Uncanny X-Men by Claremont/Byrne, FF by Stan/Jack, Avengers by Busiek/Perez, Green Lantern by Johns, FF by Hickman, Batman by Snyder, JLI by Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire. Honorable Mentions: Black Panther by Priest, Spidey by JMS/Romita Jr, FF by Waid/Ringo, DD by Frank Miller, Dini Detective, Flash and JSA by Johns, Alias by Bendis, DD by Bendis Comics Countdown for 24 Feb 2016: 10. New Avengers 7 by Al Ewing, Joshua Cassara, Rachelle Rosenberg 9. X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever 1 by Max Bemis, Michael Walsh, Ruth Redmond 8. Wild's End: The Enemy Within 6 by Dan Abnett, Nik Abnett, Ian Culbard 7. Batman and Robin Eternal 21 by James Tynion IV, Scott Synder, Tony Daniel, Sandu Florea, Tomeu Morey 6. TMNT 55 by Tom Waltz, Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, Michael Dialynas, Ronda Pattison 5. Superman: Lois and Clark 5 by Dan Jurgens, Neil Edwards, Scott Hanna, Jeromy Cox 4. Goddamned 3 by Jason Aaron, R.M. Guera, Giulia Brusco 3. Bloodshot Reborn 11 by Jeff Lemire, Lewis LaRosa, Brian Reber 2. Art Ops 5 by Shaun Simon, Mike Allred, Laura Allred, Matt Brundage, Rob Davis 1. Cry Havoc 2 by Simon Spurrier, Ryan Kelly, Barbara Guttman, Nick Filardi, Lee Loughridge, Matt Wilson  

If you like this show, support it - https://members.majorspoilers.com/subscribe Share your thoughts - http://wp.me/p8YAd-1yx6 This week’s episode features the return of Indie comics creator extraordinaire Kelly Bender! He’s the scripter of several books we talk about, including Snarl, Starburn, Sadistic, Aqueous, Death-Rattler and Hang Low Aim High. That includes everything from sci-fi to horror to a combination of several genres. We delve into several of this titles in depth, including what the books are about and which characters we find in them. Kelly and I discuss the creative process, including what it takes to make a comic and how best to work with your collaborators! Don’t miss all the great information Kelly has to share in episode #218! To access many of his excellent comics, you can go to InsaneComics.com, at comixology at this link or at drivethrucomics.com here. If you want to read something new and different, don’t miss his comics! Highly recommended!

Jan 04, 2016 -  Smartasses Magazine‘s #58 Sexiest Woman Alive of 2015, Lisa Song Sutton! Plus, comic book writer Kelly Bender! Smartasses Radio - “Dry Humor, Geek Culture & Amazing Women.” With your host, the creator of Smartasses Magazine, voice actor Johnny Video of Johnny Video Celebrity Voice Impersonations! Smartasses Radio airs every Monday night at 7 PM ET – 4PM PT, featuring cutting edge humor and an eclectic mix of guests. To interact with the hosts, follow @SmartassesNet on Twitter and use the hashtag #HailJackie. Smartasses Radio Archives facebook.com/smartasses.net

So happy to talk to Kelly Bender, an indie inspiration who is living the dream (which, in the indie world means GRINDING every day, pushing the rock and actually seeing it move!) We talk process, team building, and how he gets it done. Not to be missed.    Be sure to shout out to Kelly on the twitter @KellyBender17 if you want to tell him how much you love him.

Travis and Devin welcome back Kelly Bender this week to talk about his books "Snarl" and "Starburn". They also talk about Kelly's runner-up placing in Top Cow's talent search and the comics industry as a whole.

Podcast Posting Page - http://wp.me/p8YAd-1oD5 Major Spoilers Hotline 785-727-1939 This week, it’s the return of Salvagers creator Bob Salley, who brings with him Kelly Bender from Starburn. We get the latest news from both creators about their sci-fi books, then we dive into an extended discussion about independent comics, including how each came up with their book concepts, how they were produced and what we might see from them in the future. If you didn’t get to attend the recent San Diego Comic-Con, be sure to tune in and listen to this dynamic panel discussion. I learned a lot, and I’m sure you will, too! Become a Major Spoilers VIP! Your small monthly contribution allows us to keep shows like Wayne's Comics Podcast alive! Sign up today https://members.majorspoilers.com/membership-options-page/

In which Andrew talks with Kelly Bender and Micah Myers, the writer and letterer of SNARL, and brand new independent comic out from Alterna Comics. The guys talk about the writing process, what it really takes to letter a comics and why it’s so important, and what it’s like working in comics outside of the Big Two. Kelly shares some great insights about the comic industry in Asia as well as his thoughts about the future of artist alley at conventions.

The fellas return this week and talk with Kelly Bender, creator of Starburn. After the break, the guys wrap up the show with an update on Joe "Make 'Em Bigger" Freyre's love life, what Devin bought this week, and a story by Travis.