Podcasts about Gellar

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

11-29-25 Girl Talk with Buffy Gellar , and R.J. Crunk by

The Gellar field, now improved by Talos Ivo, held fast through the warp and let the agents sleep more soundly until the ship abruptly changed course to respond to an emergency beacon on the planet Ravenshrike in the Hawkstar system. They learned from Avarice that the system is an important source of mined materials and sees frequent pirate activities, which have recently decreased. Their mission is to resolve the cause of the emergency beacon and to assist the pirates in resuming their activities. They approached the planet, disguised as rogue traders, but as they stepped out onto the surface, they came face-to-face with an array of gun servitors.Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante.Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider supporting the show for as little as $1 a month to get BTS fun, an ad-free feed, and even add your own character to the podcast! (https://dumbdumbdice.com/join)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Follow us on social media: @dumbdumbdice- Watch our video episodes on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/), @deltastic on socialsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As the days passed with no new missions, the Inquisitorial band added their personal touches to the chapel and created new daily rituals. Solomon's health improved and he became accustomed to his new legs, Damien created new purity seals and taught the group how to fight alongside a psyker, Judge Rex led them all through Arbites meditations, and Morgan surprised the crew with random tasks at random hours to simulate the unexpected situations they were likely to face. Morgan informed Talos Ivo that he was now part of their crew and would be responsible for improving their Gellar field. While the other ignored Talos, Morgan found herself at times listening to his ramblings and Solomon began to see him as a kindred spirit. After 43 days, their next mission came through: to purchase a specific navigator at an upcoming auction.Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante.Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider supporting the show for as little as $1 a month to get BTS fun, an ad-free feed, and even add your own character to the podcast! (https://dumbdumbdice.com/join)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Follow us on social media: @dumbdumbdice- Watch our video episodes on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/), @deltastic on socialsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With the Gellar field still weakened, Damien experienced another warp pulse and hit Solomon and a Daemonette with necrotic energy, and Judge Rex set Rex 2 on Solomon as the brother continued to attack him. As things looked desperate, the food in their stomachs literally spoiling inside them, all signs of Chaos suddenly disappeared and snapped back to normal. Talos Ivo emerged, cheerfully declaring that he'd fixed the Gellar field. The Judge immediately began questioning Damien, but Damien just wanted answers of his own, so the Judge left Rex 2 to guard the psyker and went to find Morgan. Morgan, meanwhile, carried a bloody Brother Solomon to the Resusatrix, but the machine only read out one word: DECEASED.Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante.Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider supporting the show for as little as $1 a month to get BTS fun, an ad-free feed, and even add your own character to the podcast! (https://dumbdumbdice.com/join)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Follow us on social media: @dumbdumbdice- Watch our video episodes on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice) Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/), @deltastic on socialsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As the Lucky Strike entered the warp, the crew's sleep was disturbed by nightmares. As Damien slept, he saw the daemon, Kestrel, who was responsible for first igniting his psyker abilities, and accidentally used his powers in reality, thereby weakening the Gellar field. The rest of the crew woke up to alarms alerting them of the field's instability. Morgan protected CL053T as the servitor attempted to stabilize the field, Damien set his bed aflame as he continued to sleep, Judge Rex began attacking the Deamonettes who appeared on the ship, and Solomon saw a vision of the Judge attacking an innocent woman and turned on him. So far, Morgan is the only one who has seen through the deceptive visions borne out of the warp.Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante.Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice)Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Finally back aboard their ship, the Lucky Strike, the agents secured Talos Ivo, and received healing or augmetic repairs. When they retired to their separate spaces to rest, Morgan instructed CLO53ET to build a small chapel on the ship, and wrote her report on the mission and her comrades to Valentyne. Damien returned to his quarters to self-flagellate. In speaking with Avarice, the Judge learned that Talos Ivo was a heretic in the eyes of the Mechanicus because of their rules forbidding experimentation on Gellar fields, but he is not technically a heretic according to the Lex Imperialis. Brother Solomon was left alone to find peace in the words of his truncated bible. The Lucky Strike entered the warp.Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante.Enjoying Agents of the Inquisition?- Consider becoming a Patron of Dumb-Dumbs & Dice for as little as $1 a month and gain access to a ton of extra BTS fun (https://www.patreon.com/dumbdumbdice)- Buy merch on our website (https://dumbdumbdice.com/)- Watch us on YouTube (https://youtube.com/@dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Instagram (https://instagram.com/dumbdumbdice)- Follow us on Facebook (https://facebook.com/dumbdumbdice)Artwork by the brilliant Del Borovic- Website & Portfolio (https://delborovic.com/)- Twitter (https://twitter.com/deltastic)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alyson Stoner joins Will and Sabrina to talk about their time in "Camp Rock 2", growing up on Disney Channel and more! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ronald Young Jr. reviews I Know What You Did Last Summer with Chioke I'anson… RYJ and Chioke discuss what happens when a movie is bad, but has familiar faces that we've missed in itChioke - 1.5 of 5 starsRYJ -  2 of 5 starsFollow me on IG, TikTok, Threads, Bluesky, and Letterbxd - @ohitsbigronCheck out Resonate or Chioke I'anson Available in theatersStarring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Madelyn Cline, Chase Sui Wonders, Jonah Hauer-King, Tyriq Withers, Sarah Pidgeon, and Billy CampbellWritten by Sam Lansky and Jennifer Kaytin RobinsonDirected by Jennifer Kaytin RobinsonFor more information about I Know What You Did Last Summer, check out this linkSupport Leaving the Theater on Patreon using this link

In the second episode of Season 22 of Star Wars: In a Galaxy, Eli, Jacob, and special guest Amy Guerra discuss the second, third, and fourth episodes of Season 2 of Star Wars: Rebels, "The Lost Commanders", "Relics of the Old Republic", and "Always Two There Are". Among their discussion:– Allies! Bases! New planets! New characters!– Incomplete stories we thought would be complete by now. – "Actually my name is Rex. Captain, 501st Clone Battalion." – CT-7567 "Rex", 4 BBY. – Wolffe's trauma and PTSD. – Why the bongo hunt matters. – Kanan reckoning with his own past. – The clones aren't angry with the Empire. They're just disappointed. – The reunion we've all been waiting for!– "Always Two There Are" and tone setting.– Sarah. Michelle. Gellar. – Introduction to the Inquisitorius. – A gimmicky, if successful escape. Follow Amy on BlueSky: @guerradgalaxiaThe next episode of Star Wars: In a Galaxy will release on July 25, 2025.Follow us on BlueSky, Instagram, and Threads: @InaGalaxyPod/@inagalaxypod.bsky.appFollow our spinoff trivia show on BlueSky: @inagalaxytrivia.bsky.socialFollow Eli everywhere:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/_ochifan327⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Leave us a 5-star rating and review on Apple and Spotify! It really helps!You can email us at swinagalaxy@gmail.com

It's Part 1 with the one and only Crystal Kung Minkoff for a glitzy, gloriously unfiltered episode! Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum, Humble Brag podcast queen, and wife of The Lion King director Rob Minkoff, Crystal joins Pol' & Patrik to spill tea—unsweetened, over-iced, and stirred with Armenian coffee. With Snow White 90210 at the groomer (priorities, people), the boys dive into Crystal's Housewives origin story: a casual Mommy & Me moment with Teddi Mellencamp turned into a Zoom with 20 Bravo execs. In designer athleisure, she was crowned a new Housewife. Her reaction? “Uh…okay?” Even the Bravo head honcho was gagged. Crystal didn't chase fame—she married into it. With over 20 years alongside Rob, she had a lot to lose. Between raising kids and protecting her husband's Disney reputation, she wasn't about to get shredded by Lisa Rinna for sport. Even Rob's agent (who reps Brandi Glanville and Denise Richards) told her: “Don't do it!” But Bravo got her. Zoom filming turned into sipping with Kyle Richards, dodging Erika Jayne-level drama, and saying “hell no” to shady producer setups. As for the cast? Crystal's real ones were Garcelle Beauvais and Sutton Stracke—until the group chat imploded. (Looking at you, Random

Please remember to rate and review our podcast!Check out your YouTube channel @comadresycomics  CHISME DE LA SEMANA: The new Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot, a sequel series on Hulu, will feature Sarah Michelle Gellar reprising her role as Buffy Summers, but the series will focus on a new Slayer. Ryan Kiera Armstrong has been cast as the new Slayer, and Gellar is expected to appear in a recurring role.ON MY RADAR: Trinity Daughter of Wonder Woman #1 Tom King, Belén Ortega Drops August 2025HORA DE LA CERVECITA:  Forest Nymph- Mammoth Brewing Co.    BOOK REVIEW:  Dim Sum Doom Zines: Pros & Cons of Going Out w/ Ghoulish Friends, Pros & Cons of Ghoulish Friends, Rice! The Legend of Dewi Sri, Merdeka! An Intro to Indonesian Independence, An Intro to Black History MonthCreator: Chiquita  Dineyanti IG: @dimsumdoom dimsumdoom@gmail.com EN LA LIBRERIA: Ride or Die: Chapters 1 & 2 Demons. Cars. Gay People. THE COMIC. http://kck.st/3ESxtKp JUNTOS Y FUERTES: National Museum of the American Latino latino.si.edu, Plàtanos Go with Everyrhing https://bit.ly/45jMakk SALUDOS: Tony Weaver Jr. www.tonyweaverjr.com Congrats on your Eisner Nomination for Weirdo in the Best Publication for Kids categoryFollow us on socials @comadresycomicsVisit our website comadresycomics.comProduced by Comadres y Comics Podcast

GET YOUR MULTIVERSE NEWS MERCH HEREhttps://multiverse-news-shop.fourthwall.com/Welcome to Multiverse News, Your source for Information about all your favorite fictional universes.Last week we got trailers galore so let's not single anyone out! Here we go:- Marvel Studios released a trailer for Ironheart, the upcoming show focusing on Riri Williams.- DC gave us a long look at Superman, releasing a three-minute long trailer for the July film.- HBO released the first trailer for Welcome to Derry, the It prequel series premiering this fall.- Universal joined the mix and provided a second trailer for Jurassic World: Rebirth.Fans of The Hunger Games have been waiting to hear which actor will fill Donald Sutherland's shoes as President Snow in the upcoming adaptation of Sunrise on the Reaping. Last week it was announced that Ralph Fiennes will take on the mantle, as he becomes the third actor to portray the character. Maya Hawke also joins the cast for this film, taking on the role of Wiress - a former Hunger Games champion. Finally, the Hollywood Reporter exclusively reported today that Elle Fanning has been cast as Effie Trinket, stylist for Haymitch Abernathy, and that a pair of pivotal roles has also been cast, with Molly McCann set to play Louella, and Iona Bell set to portray her Capitol-assigned lookalike Lou Lou.If you thought we would just let this little news bit go by unnoticed…think again. HBO announced last week they are RETURNING their streaming service name to HBO Max, after shortening to just Max a couple of years ago. The streamer definitely took the chance to make fun of themselves, posting plenty of videos and memes about the many names they have gone through. This return to HBO Max is technically the fifth re-brand, though they are using a previously-branded name again.HBO has pushed back the release window for upcoming Game of Thrones spinoff A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms from late 2025 to early 2026.Hulu has released a first look image of the upcoming King of the Hill revival series, confirming that the series will time jump to the modern day.The series will begin streaming this summer.Paramount+ has set a release date for season three of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. Christopher Nolan‘s The Odyssey will shoot entirely on Imax film cameras, a first for a commercial feature.Paramount Pictures announced several changes to its release calendar, with a couple animated film delays. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 2 now set for wide theatrical release September 17, 2027 and The Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender now set for release October 9, 2026.Ryan Kiera Armstrong has been cast in a lead role in Hulu's Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot and will star alongside Sarah Michelle Gellar. Exact plot details are under wraps, but sources tell Variety that the pilot will focus on a new slayer with Gellar appearing in a recurring role as Buffy.Fall Guy director David Leitch is in negotiations to helm Gears of War, Netflix's big-budget adaptation of one of the biggest video game franchises on the Xbox platform. Jon Spaihts, who is working with Denis Villeneuve on adapting Frank Herbert's Dune books for Legendary, is writing the script for the feature for which Netflix has partnered with The Coalition Studio, the Canadian game developer behind the franchise.Final Destination: Bloodlines took the number one spot at the box office this weekend from Thunderbolts, pulling in $51 million dollars domestically for a worldwide total of $102 million dollars. Worldwide, Sinners stands at $316 million, A Minecraft Movie at $928 million, and Thunderbolts at $325 million.Conan O'Brien has joined the cast of Disney and Pixar's Toy Story 5. The character he will voice is named Smarty Pants, but no other information is known at this point. The film is currently set to release on June 19, 2026.

GET YOUR MULTIVERSE NEWS MERCH HERE:https://multiverse-news-shop.fourthwall.com/Welcome to Multiverse News, Your source for Information about all your favorite fictional universesMarvel Studios skipped a countdown or other hype train idea and finally gave us the first full trailer for The Fantastic Four: First Steps last Wednesday. We're treated to a longer taste of Matt Shakman's take on Marvel's First Family as well as our first real look at Julia Garner's Silver Surfer who heralds the film's big bad, Galactus.Over the last weekend, Lucasfilm held Star Wars Celebration in Japan. Celebration typically takes place every one or two years. The next event will be in Los Angeles in April 2027. As far as the news from this year's event, let's break it down into bite-sized chunks.- Shawn Levy's Star Wars film starring Ryan Gosling will be called Star Wars: Starfighter and will come out in May 2027. The film takes place a couple of years after The Rise of Skywalker, but is a standalone project.- A Darth Maul animated series starring Sam Witwer called Maul: Shadow Lord will debut on Disney+ in 2026.- First footage from The Mandalorian and Grogu was shown to attendees, but no trailer has been released yet for the 2026 film from Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni.- Animated anthology series Star Wars: Visions will return for a third season this October with three of the most popular storylines from season one continuing.- Dave Filoni talked about Ahsoka season 2, confirming Hayden Christensen will return and showed first looks at Rory McCann as the replacement for Ray Stevenson in the role of Baylan Skoll.Netflix released the first trailer for the second and final season of The Sandman. The trailer showed us more of the family of cosmic beings who are coming together after Morpheus, the King of Dreams, has been rebuilding his kingdom. The show will release six episodes on July 3 and the final five on July 24.Alicia Silverstone is attached to reprise the role of Cher Horowitz in a Clueless sequel series at Peacock that is currently in early development.Warner Brother's Ryan Coogler film Sinners took the number one spot at the domestic box office from A Mincraft Movie this weekend, pulling in $45.6 million dollars. The film is the first R Rated horror movie to earn an A Cinema Score in 35 years.A reboot film of Highlander directed by Chad Stahelski and starring Henry Cavill has been in development for nearly a decade at Lionsgate. Now, the project is moving forward, but it will be headed to Amazon MGM Studios' United Artists, which is in final negotiations to acquire the package from Lionsgate.The first trailer for Jordan Peele's latest horror film Him has been released. The film stars Marlon Wayans and Tyriq Withers and will be released in theaters on September 19.Oscar voters will no longer be able to cast final ballots in categories in which they haven't seen all of the nominees, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced on Monday.Lost showrunners Carlton Cuse and Nick Cuse are developing a Star Wars series for Disney+ that is in the very early stages of development.Michael Bay and Sydney Sweeney are teaming up for a film adaptation of the Sega racing video game OutRun for Universal. Bay will direct and Sweeney will produce. The project is in the very early stages of development.Sarah Michelle Gellar and Elijah Wood have been cast to star in Searchlights Ready or Not: Here I Come. The film from Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett is a follow up to 2019's horror hit Ready or Not. Gellar and Wood will star alongside Samara Weaving, who reprises her role as Grace, and Kathryn Newton.The first trailer has been released for season 8 of Rick and Morty. The new season will begin streaming on May 25 on Adult Swim.Another Enola Holmes film is officially in the works at Netflix, the third in the series. Millie Bobby Brown and Henry Cavill will both return to star. Production is now underway in the UK.

National Ex-Spuse day.  Entertainment from 1994.  Lincoln shot, Stone Mountain Georgia completed, 1st American dictionary published, Titanic hit an iceberg.  Todays birthdays - Sir John Gielgud, Rod Steiger, Loretta Lynn, Brad Garrett, Anthony Michael Hall, Adrien Brody, Sara Michelle Gellar.  Burl Ives died.Intro - God did good - Dianna Corcoran   https://www.diannacorcoran.com/ Love stinks - J. Geils BandBump n grind - R. KellyIf the good die young - Tracy LawrenceBirthdays - In da club - 50 Cent   http://50cent.com/Stand by your man - Loretta LynnHolly Jolly Christmas - Burl IvesExit - Break up rules - Paige Rutledge   https://www.paigerutledge.com/countryundergroundradio.com History and Factoids website

Welcome to Spell Casting September! We're kicking off our month of witchy wonders on the No More Late Fees with the charming 1999 film Simply Irresistible starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. In this magical rom-com, Gellar plays Amanda, a struggling chef who discovers her culinary creations suddenly possess the power to enchant those who taste them. Join us as we dive into the whimsical world of Amanda and Tom, discuss the film's delicious blend of romance and magic, and explore how Simply Irresistible fits into the late 90s witchy movie trend. Grab your favorite spell book (or recipe book!) and tune in for a fun and enchanting episode. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more magical movie breakdowns throughout September! Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sean Patrick Flanery, Patricia Clarkson, Amanda Peet, Dylan Baker, Christopher Durang, Larry Gilliard Jr. and  Betty Buckley Directed By: Mark Tarlov ·Season 4 Episode 23 — No More Late Fees  ⁠https://nomorelatefeespodcast.com⁠ 909-601-NMLF (6653) — Follow Us on Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/nomorelatefees  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@nomorelatefees  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/nomorelatefees Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@nomorelatefees  Twitter https://x.com/NoMoreLateFees  — CONQUERing ⁠⁠myconquering.com⁠⁠ 10% Off Code: JACKIE10 — NostaBeauty https://nostabeauty.com  20% Off Code: NMLF  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/nomorelatefees/support

"This is Tom; is it completed?" the voice said, its tone clipped and formal. Party Donkey hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say. But then he remembered Gellar's instructions and spoke up. "It's Party Donkey," he said, his voice shaky with nerves. "Sarah Michelle Gellar told me to call you." There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Party Donkey could almost hear the gears turning in the man's mind. "Ah, yes," the man said finally, his tone flat and emotionless. "I've been expecting your call." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh boy this episode made us angry! From Mr. and Mrs. Gellar being mean to poor Monica to Carol and Susan's way of trying to keep Ross from giving his child his last name. Join us as we recap season 1 episode 2 and let us know if it made your blood boil like it did us. Stay tune as we are adding part 2 April 19. You can email us at letstalkfriends24@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at lets_talk_friends24

National Ex-Spuse day.  Entertainment from 2021.  Lincoln shot, Stone Mountain Georgia completed, 1st American dictionary published, Titanic hit an iceberg.  Todays birthdays - Sir John Gielgud, Rod Steiger, Loretta Lynn, Brad Garrett, Anthony Michael Hall, Adrien Brody, Sara Michelle Gellar.  Burl Ives died.Intro - Pour some sugar on me - Def Leppard   http://defleppard.com/Love stinks - J. Geils Bandmontero - Lil Nas XLong live - Florida Georgia LineBirthdays - In da club - 50 Cent   http://50cent.com/Stand by your man - Loretta LynnHolly Jolly Christmas - Burl IvesExit - Its not love - Dokken    http://dokken.net/https://coolcasts.cooolmedia.com/ 

Join the secret society and take a ride around NYC in a sexy Jaguar convertible, because it's time to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the delicious movie Cruel Intentions! Mark welcomes friends and fellow Sarah Michelle Gellar stans Kit Sheehan and Jason Kashiwagi back on the show to discuss the beloved "Muppet Babies version" of Les Liaisons Dangereuses (Kit's the only one who knows French) that grabbed our attention in March 1999 and never let go. From Ryan Phillippe's beautiful butt to that lesbian kiss in Central Park to Christine Baranski stealing the spotlight, there's a lot to love. Gossip Girl, you wish you were this steamy! Also, Mark shares his thoughts on the TV sequel pilot that never went to series, and there's a bonus episode on the YouTube channel with even more thoughts and opinions from this trio.

We've got all three amigos talking about the cooking show this week. The laughs are abundant, unlike the food served during Top Chef Season 8, Episode 5 - "Dim Sum Lose Sum". Top Chef talk starts at 31:00 ----more---- Subscribe for new episodes on Mondays or Tuesdays sometimes. Rate us 5 stars and let us know what you had for dinner last night in the review! This episode was edited by Bryan A Jackson. The Pod Chef theme song was produced and performed by Jeff Ray.  Pod Chef is Bryan, Jamal, & Reaves. Pod Chef Links Follow us on Instagram and Twitter - @podchefpodcast Follow Bryan on Instagram - @bjacksonininaction Follow Jamal on Instagram - @hell0newman Our intro was produced and performed by Jeff Ray - https://www.instagram.com/jeffrayfilms/

Join Kyler Bingham for an intimate conversation with author Erik Fuhrer, whose latest collection Geller Studies weaves a tapestry of personal narratives through the surprising muse of Sarah Michelle Gellar's characters. From Buffy the Vampire Slayer to I Know What You Did Last Summer, Erik reveals how these iconic roles enabled them to unlock and articulate their own experiences with trauma and gender identity. This episode offers a deep dive into the emotional gravity of pop culture, the cathartic process of writing, and the power of reclaiming one's story through art. --- Episode Links: Erik-Fuhrer.com IG: @erikjfuhrer

The Stargate Project was a top secret US project into psychic abilities and, specifically, remote viewing. Perhaps the projects most famous creation was one Uri Gellar, who went on to have quite the career as a TV and celebrity psychic...and Michael Jackson's friend.Join Linz and Chris as they open their third eyes (ew) and explore the mysterious world of remote viewing and thee power to bend as many spoons as you need to build a throne. What will they find, and will they be convinced?Support the showSupport us on Patreon

What does the cast of what we did last summer have to do with this weeks show? Listen and find out as we discuss that as well as the birds come back win against the Commanders and what Cowboys week is all about. Remember you can reach out to us at brosonbirdspod@gmail.com as well as Instagram, X and tik tok @brosonbirdspod Or leave us a voicemail at https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brosonbirds/message --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brosonbirds/message

Emma is this many years old - ::holds up one finger:: - and there is a cake, just the wrong one. But she is still ASLEEEEP for her own party (seems to me a Gellar problem). Monica and Chandler are NOT in Vermont, Phoebe is writing her worst song yet, Joey is doing moving dramatic readings, and Jack and Judy are leaving the worlds most depressing birthday message.

Sarah Michelle Gellar was one of the biggest teen stars of the nineties. Fuelled by her star-making role as the lead on Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she won massive acclaim for her badass, emotional turn as the titular slayer. She parlayed her success into a burgeoning film career, starring in a pair of late nineties teen classics, I Know What You Did Last Summer and Cruel Intentions. The latter was a controversial part that could have backfired but instead was a major hit that further propelled her to the top of the A-list. She started the 2000's starring in the big-screen version of Scooby-Doo as Daphne, which was a big enough hit to spawn a sequel, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. Around this time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ended its run, and Gellar opted to stretch, taking a role in Richard Kelly's much-maligned Southland Tales, which has since become a cult classic. Eventually, she would return to TV on the series Ringer, followed by a co-star role in The Crazy Ones, which would ultimately prove one of the last projects for co-star Robin Williams and seemed to be a troubled production.In recent years, Gellar, who seems to have one of Hollywood's most successful marriages with former co-star Freddie Prinze Jr, has slowed down, opting to focus on voice acting (similar to her husband), voicing parts on Star Wars: Rebels, Robot Chicken, and the recent Masters of the Universe: Revelation. She's been missing from TV and films for some time, with her focusing on family, only re-emerging to weigh in on troubling stories from the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer involving series mastermind Joss Whedon, which have reframed people's view of what it must have been like working on that show for years. In this episode of WTF Happened to this Celebrity, we chart Gellar's career and see where she is now while also hoping for a big comeback as Gellar truly is one of a kind. 

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Beyond The Goatee Al Michaels call of the Buck to Lindsay 1980 play A.J. Minter & Chris Dimino one in the same? One More Thing presented by Oxendine Law CrossTalk with Matt & Chuck Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Beyond The Goatee Al Michaels call of the Buck to Lindsay 1980 play A.J. Minter & Chris Dimino one in the same? One More Thing presented by Oxendine Law CrossTalk with Matt & Chuck Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Braves beak records in first half of season Phil Steele College Football list are coming out One More Thing presented by Oxendine Law CrossTalk with Matt & Chuck - Homerun Derby, Dwight Howard, Atlanta Braves, Andrew Luck & more Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Braves beak records in first half of season Phil Steele College Football list are coming out One More Thing presented by Oxendine Law CrossTalk with Matt & Chuck - Homerun Derby, Dwight Howard, Atlanta Braves, Andrew Luck & more Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Steve West filling in for a vacationing Chris Dimino World Series preview? Tropicana Field Fun Facts with Westy Braves P Michael Soroka One More Thing presented by Oxendine Law CrossTalk with Matt & Chuck - Hawks lock down Dejounte, The Slap heard around Las Vegas, Braves vs Ray, getting high Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Steve West filling in for a vacationing Chris Dimino World Series preview? Tropicana Field Fun Facts with Westy Braves P Michael Soroka One More Thing presented by Oxendine Law CrossTalk with Matt & Chuck - Hawks lock down Dejounte, The Slap heard around Las Vegas, Braves vs Ray, getting high Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Always Ready to Be Strong… Lights up on SCAD TVfest's 2023 Icon Award honoree Sarah Michelle Gellar! After a multi-year hiatus from on-camera roles, Gellar made a lauded return to film with Netflix's “Do Revenge” and to TV with the paranormal drama “Wolf Pack” on Paramount Plus. She helped define modern television with “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and starred in favorite millennial films, including “I Know What You Did Last Summer” and “Cruel Intentions.” As an industry veteran, Gellar is a leader for equity on set and building the work ethic of the next generation of entertainment professionals. Join Paula Wallace as the two talk bout Gellar's latest projects, her beginnings, and her love of education, fashion, and family.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Bally's Braves Reporter Kelly Crull One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Bally's Braves Reporter Kelly Crull One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Jeff Benedict Arthur of LeBron  Business of Sports - Tony Barnhart presented by Southern Company One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Jeff Benedict Arthur of LeBron  Business of Sports - Tony Barnhart presented by Southern Company One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Steve West and Chris Cotter sit in for a vacationing Nick Cellini Beyond The Goatee presented by Arrow Waste One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Cellini and Chris Dimino talk everything Atlanta Sports, the National Sports picture and the current (and WAY back when) in pop culture! Get the latest and your fill of Atlanta Braves, Georgia Bulldogs, Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks daily from two "Southern" Yankees daily Mon-Fri from 11a-2p! Steve West and Chris Cotter sit in for a vacationing Nick Cellini Beyond The Goatee presented by Arrow Waste One More Thing presented by Oxendine Line Birthday Game presented by D. Gellar & Sons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're not in Massapequa, but we are TOGETHER! We visit the Gellar's 35th Wedding Anniversary in event room C, and we took a mental picture - CLICK! Ross and Rachel lie about their wedding and the all star guest list, Phoebe is trying not to punch Parker in the face, and Monica is trying to make everyone cry.

Welcome back to the pub!  Grab a pint  or am sambuca margarita and sit on down as we play Friends trivia!  This is a 2 on 2 Hot Seat Challenge and it's Leah and Natalie taking on Asha & Katie in a match that's closer than any Gellar flag football game! Are you enjoying the show? www.patreon.com/ptebb   Discord: www.ptebb.com/discord Merch: www.ptebb.com Facebook: The Lounge: Fans of Pub Trivia Experience & Boozy Bracketology Twitter: @PubTriviaPod Instagram: Pub Trivia Experience PubTriviaExperience@gmail.com Don't forget – Leave us a 5 Star Rating and write us a review Enjoy The Show!  

The Alchemist journal our crimes in Cruel Intentions.  Key Elements: Creep Manifesto, Party Cross, Cheeeeello Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/filmalchemistpod  

Credits: 0.25 AMA PRA Category 1 Credit™     CME/CE Information and Claim Credit: https://www.pri-med.com/online-education/podcast/frankly-speaking-cme-301   Overview: In this episode, we will discuss a simple and inexpensive yet effective strategy for slowing the loss of knee joint cartilage in a patient with osteoarthritis: walking. Hear how recent evidence suggests that including a walking regimen into treatment plans may confer numerous benefits in this patient population.   Episode resource links: Busse, JW, Sadeghirad, B., Oparin, Y. et al; Management of Acute Pain From Non–Low Back, Musculoskeletal Injuries: A Systematic Review and Network Meta-analysis of Randomized Trials. Ann Intern Med.2020;173:730-738. [Epub 18 August 2020]. doi:10.7326/M19-3601 Kolasinski, S.L., Neogi, T., Hochberg, M.C., Oatis, C., Guyatt, G., Block, J., Callahan, L., Copenhaver, C., Dodge, C., Felson, D., Gellar, K., Harvey, W.F., Hawker, G., Herzig, E., Kwoh, C.K., Nelson, A.E., Samuels, J., Scanzello, C., White, D., Wise, B., Altman, R.D., DiRenzo, D., Fontanarosa, J., Giradi, G., Ishimori, M., Misra, D., Shah, A.A., Shmagel, A.K., Thoma, L.M., Turgunbaev, M., Turner, A.S. and Reston, J. (2020), 2019 American College of Rheumatology/Arthritis Foundation Guideline for the Management of Osteoarthritis of the Hand, Hip, and Knee. Arthritis Care Res, 72: 149-162. https://doi.org/10.1002/acr.24131 Lo GH, Vinod S, Richard MJ, et al. Association Between Walking for Exercise and Symptomatic and Structural Progression in Individuals with Knee Osteoarthritis: Data from the Osteoarthritis Initiative Cohort [published online ahead of print, 2022 Jun 8]. Arthritis Rheumatol. 2022;10.1002/art.42241. doi:10.1002/art.42241 Thudium C. Markers of synovial inflammation matrix turnover and symptoms. Presented at: OARSI 2022 World Congress on Osteoarthritis; April 7-10; Berlin, Germany (virtual meeting). Ooman JMH. Babs on a mission: An experimental study on the effects of message framing and exemplification on treatment intentions of osteoarthritis patients. Presented at: OARSI 2022 World Congress on Osteoarthritis; April 7-10; Berlin, Germany (virtual meeting). Zeng C, Doherty M, Persson MSM, et al. Comparative efficacy and safety of acetaminophen, topical and oral non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs for knee osteoarthritis: evidence from a network meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials and real-world data. Osteoarthritis Cartilage. 2021;29(9):1242-1251. doi:10.1016/j.joca.2021.06.004   Guest: Susan Feeney, DNP, FNP-BC, NP-C   Music Credit: Richard Onorato