Podcasts about unselfie

hailed michele borba unselfie

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2021 11:24

Hailed as “an absolute must-read” and a book that “will change your kids' lives”, UnSelfie by Dr. Michele Borba explains what parents and educators MUST do to combat the growing empathy crisis among children.

Ep 140: Helping Teens Thrive

Talking To Teens

Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2021 27:38

Click for full show notes, exercises, and parenting scripts from this episodeWe would do anything for our kids to be successful. That’s why we sign them up for SAT prep classes, make sure they practice piano every day and watch their report cards like hawks. If they can get good test scores they can go to a good college, then get a job with benefits until hopefully they don’t need us at all anymore! So long as we ensure their meeting the marks academically, we’re giving them everything they could ever need...right?Well, not quite. When we look at the research, we find that kids with the highest grades aren’t necessarily the most successful. Those deemed “gifted” don’t always become lawyers and CEOs if they don’t know how to work hard or persevere through adversity. In fact, when interviewed, kids in generation Z often feel like they’ve just been brought up as a product to fulfill certain standards–not as a well rounded human being.How can we raise kids to not just fit the bill of academic perfection, but actually find lasting success and happiness? In other words, how can we help them thrive? Our guest today, Michele Borba is here to answer that very question. She’s the author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. After conducting years of research, she's discovered the key traits of the world’s most prosperous people. She’s here today to tell parents how they can pass along the recipe for a bountiful and fulfilling life to their kids.In our interview, she explains how you can guide teens to discover their core assets to ensure they’re on the pathway to prosperity. We also discuss how you can instill strong values in your teen and why it’s important for teens to have a high level of agency in their everyday lives.Click for full show notes, exercises, and parenting scripts from this episode

Episode 51: A Conversation with Dr. Michele Borba about THRIVERS: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine

RISE for Educators

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2021 37:53

Today we have a conversation with the wonderful Dr. Michele Borba. Michele is an educational psychologist, former teacher, and mom recognized for offering research-driven advice culled from a career of working with over one million parents and educators. A frequent TODAY show contributor and recipient of the National Educator Award, she is the author of 25 books including UnSelfie, and her latest, THRIVERS: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. Listen in as Michele offers research-based tips and strategies to build up kids' mental strength, resilience, happiness, and success. Connect with Michele at micheleborba.com, on Instagram @drmicheleborba, and on Twitter @micheleborba Follow us and find our tool for this episode and more on Twitter @RISEforeducator and on Instagram @riseforeducators Email us at riseforeducators@gmail, we would love to hear from you! Thank you for much for listening! Julie and Holly --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/holly-lannert/message

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THRIVERS: Seven Teachable Strengths That Help Students Succeed - Dr. Michele Borba

G.U.I.D.E. For Life

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2021 44:37

THRIVERS: Seven Teachable Strengths That Help Students Succeed - Dr. Michele BorbaDr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, former teacher, and mom recognized for offering research-driven advice culled from a career of working with over one million parents and educators. A frequent Today show contributor and recipient of the National Educator Award, she is the author of 25 books including UnSelfie, and her latest, Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. She also appears on Dr. Phil, The View, CNN, The Doctors, Dr. Oz, as well as U.S. News & World Report, The Chicago Tribune, TIME, and the NY Times. Resources: Twitter: @micheleBorbawww.micheleborba.comInstagram: @drmicheleborbaThrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine - Amazon:https://www.amazon.com/Thrivers-Surprising-Reasons-Struggle-Others/dp/0593085272G.U.I.D.E. for Life website: https://dese.ade.arkansas.gov/Offices/learning-services/guide-for-lifeG.U.I.D.E. for Life video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IkDogvInAGyDubj0e_Ou3qGG9r3yPKo2/viewG.U.I.D.E. for Life In Focus Blog: https://dese.ade.arkansas.gov/Offices/learning-services/guide-for-life/guide-for-life-in-focus-blogG.U.I.D.E. for Life Manual:https://dese.ade.arkansas.gov/admin/Files/20201229101338_OFFICIAL_GUIDE_for_Life.pdfProduced by Donnie LeeMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comMore information: https://dese.ade.arkansas.gov/Offices/communications/dese-podcasts

045: Guest Interview with Michele Borba: Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons of Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine.

Parenting The Adlerian Way

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2021 43:40

Michele is an educational psychologist and author of 25 parenting books, including Unselfie. She is an internationally renowned speaker and media mainstay. In our discussion Michele explains just how short sited our modern parenting practices are. She explains how we set up our kids to be strivers, but they eventually fail and collapse. Instead she instructs us about the parenting practices to raise kids who thrive and shine! Find Michel here: www.micheleborba.com IG @drmicheleborba Twitter: @micheleborb You can purchase her book from Amazon too: https://www.amazon.ca/Thrivers-Surprising-Reasons-Struggle-Others/dp/0593085272

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DR. MICHELE BORBA, Ed. D. The bestselling author of UnSelfie explains why the old markers of accomplishment (grades, test scores) are no longer reliable predictors of success in the 21st century -- and offers 7 teachable traits that will safeguard our kid

KUCI: Get the Funk Out

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2021

DR. MICHELE BORBA, Ed. D. chats with Janeane Bernstein about her new book, Thrivers. In Thrivers, Dr. Borba offers practical, actionable ways to develop these traits in children from preschool through high school, showing how to teach kids how to cope today so they can thrive tomorrow. Michele Borba has been a teacher, educational consultant, and parent for 40 years -- and she's never been more worried than she is about this current generation of kids. The high-achieving students she talks with every day are more accomplished, better educated, and more privileged than ever before. They're also more stressed, unhappier, and struggling with anxiety, depression, and burnout at younger and younger ages -- "we're like pretty packages with nothing inside," said one young teen. Thrivers are different: they flourish in our fast-paced, digital-driven, often uncertain world. Why? In her new book, THRIVERS: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle While Others Shine, Dr. Borba combed scientific studies on resilience, spoke to dozens of researchers/experts in the field and interviewed more than 100 young people from all walks of life, and she found something surprising: the difference between those who struggle and those who succeed comes down not to grades or test scores, but to seven character traits that set Thrivers apart (and set them up for happiness and greater accomplishment later in life). These traits--confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism--will allow kids to roll with the punches and succeed in life. And the even better news: these traits can be taught to children at any age...in fact, parents and educations must do so.

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Ep. 168: Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

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Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2021 42:10

This episode features my conversation with Dr. Michele Borba about her phenomenal, must-read book THRIVERS: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine - 7 Teachable skills of heart, mind, & will that set happy, healthy, high-performing kids apart. Links Dr. Michele Borba's Website Thrivers book info & video series [ENCORE] Ep. 138: Unselfie with Dr. Michele Borba About Dr. Michele Borba Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues. She blends 40 years of teaching and consulting experience with latest science to offer sound, realistic advice to parents teachers and child advocates about helping children thrive. Learn more about Michele.

Episode 039: Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine featuring Michele Borba Ed.D.

Dr. Sheryl's PodCouch

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2021 30:49

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author of many books most notably UnSelfie, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues. She blends 40 years of teaching and consulting experience with the latest science to offer sound, realistic advice to parents, teachers and child advocates about helping children thrive. Dr. Borba’s latest book Thrivers is an urgently needed guide to address the staggering increase in anxiety, stress and emptiness for children from preschool to high school. She explains why the old markers of accomplishment (grades, test scores) are no longer reliable predictors of success in the 21st century – and she offers 7 teachable traits that will safeguard our kids for the future. Those essential character strengths-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism-will allow kids to roll with the punches and succeed in life.

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029: Guest Interview with Michele Borba “Unselfie: Why Empathic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World”

Parenting The Adlerian Way

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2020 40:59

Michele and I dive into the content of her recent book. We discuss the importance of empathy, the research to support it and most importantly, how parents can and MUST cultivate it in childhood. She has spoken to over a million parents in 43 nations. A true gem and expert. Enjoy! You can find her book here: UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. Coming March 2021: Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. Web: micheleborba.com Instagram: @drmicheleborba Twitter @micheleborba

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Ep. 165: Cultivating Kindness

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Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2020 16:36

SHOW NOTES Join my PATREON squad for special perks, including bonus podcast episodes, exclusive posts, and resources. Subscribe for resources and ideas for happier, more connected families. Kindness is a character trait we value highly in our friends, family members, and co-workers, and yet our kids may not know how much we want them to be kind, considerate, contributing members of their community. For World Kindness Day (November 13 - the day this episode is being released), I'm doing a deep dive into simple ideas for raising kinder kids and creating a kinder world. Let's focus on kindness, not just today but every day. BIG IDEAS 80% of the youth surveyed agreed with the statement, “My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes then if I'm a caring community member in class and school." We need to focus on raising kinder humans. Giving a compliment is a really simple way to spread kindness and also to show our kids a really, really important social skill. "Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree." It is really important that we have a growth mindset about the character trait of kindness and realize that it is a trait that we can cultivate in ourselves and in our children. Something that we can control is ourselves and how we interact with and show kindness to other people. LINKS & RESOURCES Random Acts of Kindness - World Kindness Day QUOTES "Take a few minutes to write uplifting, positive encouraging messages in a sticky note pad, then start leaving those messages around, whether it's in your own house, at a neighbor's house, on people's mailboxes, on windshields. You can leave these uplifting positive messages around as a simple and fun act of kindness." "Camp Secret #8 in my book, Happy Campers is, Make it Cool to be Kind. In the chapter, I talk about the importance of us focusing, in our families, in our schools, in our camps, everywhere, on creating a culture where kindness is embraced and encouraged." "Set an alarm to go off three times, when the alarm sounds stop what you're doing and call, text, or email someone simply to tell them how awesome they are." "Compliment the first three people you talk to." "Another act of Kindness that is something that kids can do is to write a handwritten note to their teacher." "Just saying good morning to the people in your family or the people at work when you're in a meeting is so important." "A really good way to do a family activity of kindness is to pick up some trash. Even if you just spend 10 minutes picking up some trash around your neighborhood." "Leave encouraging notes around." "Spend 24 hours or dedicate 24 hours to spreading positivity on social media." "Giving an extra generous tip to a service worker is another way to do an act of kindness." "Send flowers to a friend and I would just expand this that you can also just send a note to a friend." "Really anything that you send or give that just shows someone that you're thinking about them is such an act of kindness and really can brighten their day and yours." "Get your kids to focus a little bit more on kindnesses that they have seen others do by asking them to point out kind acts that they have witnessed or done themselves." "It's also a great idea to talk with your kids about how they feel after someone has done something kind for them or after they've done something kind for another person." "How do you want to be remembered by your classmates and friends?" ONE SIMPLE THING From pages 189-190 in Happy Campers (Camp Secret #8: Make it Cool to be Kind): RELATED POSTS & EPISODES Ep. 46: #CampKindnessDay with Tom Rosenberg Ep. 138: Unselfie with Dr. Michele Borba Ep. 114: Precursors to Gratitude How to Respond to Bad Behavior 30 Days of Kindness Is Kindness the Secret to a Successful Life? Ep. 46: #CampKindnessDay with Tom Rosenberg Why my Family is Celebrating World Kindness Day Focusing on Kindness

MSP133 [] Science is Slick #9: Quantum Go, Mario Bricks and the AI Unselfie.

MSP [] MATTSPLAINED [] MSP.EX

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 17, 2020 24:47

As we build ever more complicated games and tasks to challenge AI, should we really be asking them to get the simple stuff right? Like reposing our selfies and helping to prescribe medicines? Science is certainly slick with new smart waterproofing fabrics and bricks that bring Mario to life. Hosts: Matt Armitage & Richard BradburyProduced: Richard Bradbury for BFM89.9Episode Sources:https://www.newscientist.com/article/2250551-quantum-version-of-the-ancient-game-of-go-could-be-ultimate-ai-test/ https://www.newscientist.com/article/2209631-ai-beats-professionals-at-six-player-texas-hold-em-poker/https://www.newscientist.com/article/2251262-an-ai-can-make-selfies-look-like-theyre-not-selfies/https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/08/05/1006003/ai-machine-learning-defer-to-human-expert/ https://www.newscientist.com/article/2250401-these-are-the-12-ways-you-can-drastically-cut-your-dementia-risk/ https://www.newscientist.com/article/2251189-in-ear-nerve-stimulating-device-helps-people-learning-a-new-language/https://www.newscientist.com/article/2251388-fabric-repels-both-oil-and-water-thanks-to-clever-silicone-coating/ EPISODE EXCERPTRichard: When the world grows dark, people look skywards, searching for a hero who will save them from the powers that threaten their destruction. No, we’re not talking about MSP’s Matt Armitage. As far as I know the only thing he’s saved is old wrapping paper. It’s time for another episode of MSP Science is Slick. Richard: Remind us why science is slick?Matt:Firstly, when the apocalypse comes and there’s nowhere you can buy wrapping paper, who are you going to turn to?The man with a warehouse full of mouse chewed Xmas wrapping, my friend.Failed business ventures aside. Science is Slick is where we tackle the epidemic of doomscrolling And introduce some of the sci-tech stories you might have missed that will help to shape the world of tomorrow.And this week we have a bucketful of AI as well as some interesting stories about obesity, money laundering and dementia.Richard: AI is a good place to start. I’m hitting the Go button…Matt:Glad you approve. Go is where we’re starting.The ancient boardgame Go has become a bit of a battleground for a AI.Much more complex than chess - the sheer complexity of the predictions it required made it very hard for even supercomputers to match the skill of the best human player. That was until 2017 when Google’s Deepmind powered supercomputer Alpha Go beat the reigning human champion Lee Sedol.Since then, Go is about as difficult for advanced AI as tic tac toe is for you and me.

EPISODE 29: DR. MICHELE BORBA – EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST, PARENTING EXPERT, AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR OF “UNSELFIE”

LIVE ABOVE THE NOISE: The Choice-Full Family Project

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2020 52:19

In EPISODE 29, Wayne and Rob talk with internationally renowned educational psychologist, Dr. Michele Borba, author of UNSELFIE: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. They discuss the critical importance of helping children develop empathy, and why developing a healthy sense of empathy is a key predictor of which kids will thrive and succeed in the future.

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Michele Borba - Raising empathetic children in an all-about-me world TPPP33

The Parent Practice Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2020 43:05

There is no doubt that in this era of the Covid-19 pandemic there has been a huge amount of uncertainty and with that some anxiety. You may be feeling some anxiety yourself and perhaps your children are too. Well, the antidote to stress is empathy and our guest today has many, many ideas about how you can build empathy in your children. Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist and former classroom teacher who is recognised globally as a parenting, bullying and character expert whose aim is to strengthen children's empathy and resilience, and break the cycle of youth violence. She is an in-demand speaker who has delivered keynotes and workshops to over 1,000,000 participants and written 24 books translated into 14 languages as well as appearing frequently in broadcast and print media. We'll put a list of Dr Borba's books in our show notes rather than list them all here but the one that introduced me to her work, her latest, is Unselfie, Why empathetic kids succeed in our all about me world. I loved that this work is firmly grounded in science but also has many, many practical ideas about how parents can raise kids to be empathetic. Dr Borba has been writing another book during lockdown Thrivers, the surprising reasons why some kids struggle and others shine. I can't wait to read it She is also a parent of 3 now adult sons. Listen to this episode with Dr Michele if you want to learn: About the 3 factors present in a person's upbringing that lead to a person developing altruism How an 8 month old baby can teach children a thing or two about empathy. About today's empathy deficit and how that has arisen. Yes, technology does play a part. But there are a number of reasons including the way we parent. Ouch! About the extraordinary outcomes when parents take active steps to teach children empathy and kindness That empathy is not just an innate quality that we are either born with or not, but it is something that can be cultivated even from an incredibly young age How empathy can be the antidote to stress, both your children's and your own and how learning emotional regulation can help in times of uncertainty About how empathy is made up of habits. You can encourage emotional literacy and help your child develop a moral identity. Family mission statements can help a child to define themselves as a caring person. So can praise provided it is used to identify moments of caring in your child's behaviour, since what we notice in our children is the behaviour we prioritise How parents can encourage children to understand others' perspectives through role play, theatre, film and literature. Encouraging children to read widely through family reading rituals will help them develop empathy How some aspects of conventional discipline methods (yelling, time out, spanking) get in the way of a child developing empathy. (For more detail see our positive discipline module in our six week course) And her top tip for raising children to be kind and tolerant adults who will create a better future for us all. It's a very simple idea. And her idea for encouraging hope in difficult times is inspiring. If you want to get in touch with Dr Michele check out the links below: Links Website: https://micheleborba.com. For a full list of Michele's books see https://micheleborba.com/books/ and look out for her new book next year ‘Thrivers' Twitter: @michelborba Ted talk -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVTiplEG91s&feature=emb_logo Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmicheleborba Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmicheleborba/

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The Hidden Advantage of Empathy and Why It Matters

Positive Parenting | Mr. Dad

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2020 30:00

Michele Borba, author of Unselfie, Topic: Why empathetic kids succeed in our all-about-me world. Issues: The hidden advantage of empathy and why it matters for children; how to develop empathy; what empathetic kids do that non-empathetic kids don’t; developing moral courage; becoming an empathetic leader The post The Hidden Advantage of Empathy and Why It Matters appeared first on Mr. Dad.

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Ep. 142: Using Gratitude, Attitude, and Courage to Cope with COVID

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Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2020 29:29

Show Notes Tap into the camp values of gratitude, attitude, and courage to help you and your family cope during COVID-19! This week on the podcast, I'm chatting with camp professional and podcaster Cole Kelly about summer camp and how his family is coping with sheltering at home. Cole and his wife Kate are the owners and directors of Camp Weequahic in Lakewood, Pennsylvania. Cole spends his summers setting the tone for camp, joining in on the fun with the kids, and supporting both the staff members at camp and parents back home in every way possible. While there are too many joys of camp to list, getting the youngest campers’ ‘happies’ each night and leading the weekly Friday Night Campfires are among his favorites. During the off-season, Cole travels to meet potential new families around the world and oversees the preparations for another great summer. Both Kate and Cole have come a long way together from captaining their collegiate teams (soccer at Dartmouth for Kate and golf at Virginia for Cole.) When not talking camp or volunteering in their home community of Athens, GA, Kate and Cole spend their time parenting their three boys – Cole3 (16), Jack (14) and Luke (12) – and caring for Camp Dog Mac. Cole hosts the Campfire Conversation Podcast: Listen to Audrey's interview with Cole on the Campfire Conversation Podcast. Play! It's good for everyone! - Michael Brandwein on Campfire Conversation (mentioned in this episode). Download Screentime Ticket Checklist from Camp Weequahic. Gretchen's Daily Activities Checklist Cole's posts about gratitude, attitude, and courage: Gratitude in Action The Space Between Speaking from the Heart Big Ideas Many camps focus on character-building and have resources that can be helpful to families right now. It’s important for us to encourage our kids to move, connect with their friends, and have fun! Family members may need breaks from each other and will feel refreshed after some time to themselves. There may be games or activities that your family has not done in awhile that they may enjoy together again now. QUOTES Cole: There's a great quote that says that crisis doesn't build character. It reveals character. And the crisis that we're going through has shown what the character is of the camp community, which is we're here to help. We know about kids, we know about connection, we know about relationships. Cole: We're trying to keep people's minds off it while also always pointing back to the values of our camp, which is what we really focus on, which is gratitude. We've talked all the time that a grateful heart is a happy heart, attitude is the only thing you have total control over in your life. So choose a good one and then building courage. Cole: This moment that we're in right now, those values are so vitally important to practice and to put out into the world. Audrey: Try to recreate a little of that camp magic. Cole: The other things we're counseling families to do is whatever you can do to add a little bit of fun. Cole: Perfect is the enemy at this point. You just need to be there and be with your kids and want to relate. Cole: If parents treat this as an opportunity, they can connect with their kids in ways that will leave a very big lasting impression. Audrey: I do think that so many people are struggling because they're trying to figure out this new normal, but instead of putting so much pressure that everything has to be perfect, just like you said, let's just do a little bit of fun and connection Audrey: We need breaks even from each other during this time. Resources/Related Posts Ep. 63: Growing Gratitude with Sara Kuljis Advice & Encouragement During COVID-19: Bringing Camp Home with Maria Horner Advice & Encouragement During COVID-19: Bringing Camp Home with Mike & Mary Endres Advice & Encouragement During COVID-19: Bringing Camp Home with Ariella Rogge Happy Campers Camps Video version of our interview ONE SIMPLE THING Pick a Summer Theme! MY FAVORITE Dr. Michele Borba's quick tips on Twitter & Instagram are my favorite for this week. Dr. Michele Borba on Twitter Dr. Michele Borba on Instagram Check out my recent interview with Dr. Borba about her book Unselfie: Ep. 138: Unselfie with Dr. Michele Borba

Why Courage is Teachable

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Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2020 23:49

In episode 422 of Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things, we are back with our Wednesday segment where I chat with psychologists, therapists, neuroscientists and other experts on the science of personal growth. The month of May will focus on why empathetic kids succeed in our all about me world and features educational psychologist, parenting and child expert and the author of "Unselfie", Dr. Michele Borba. This episode is about why courage is trainable and how to ignite it. She talks about an experiment she conducted on the television show Dateline with kids to showcase how courage can be taught, why emotional literacy, morals and perspective are necessary for courage, why we need to remind kids that it's important to stand up and speak out and not wait for someone else to do it, why introverts and extroverts are courageous, how to use CALM to be courageous and how parents can raise more courageous kids.

How to Help Kids Self Regulate and Why It Matters

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Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2020 24:05

In episode 419 of Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things, we are back with our Wednesday segment where I chat with psychologists, therapists, neuroscientists and other experts on the science of personal growth. The month of May will focus on why empathetic kids succeed in our all about me world and features educational psychologist, parenting and child expert and the author of "Unselfie", Dr. Michele Borba. This episode is about how to help kids self regulate and why it matters. She talks about what it means to self regulate, how to teach kids to reduce their stress, the kids who are most successful and happiest in life are the ones who learn how to self regulate early on in life, how to be aware of your own stress signs and your child's stress signs, why taking care of yourself is necessary and how parents and kids can signal this, why a calm down corner can help, why time to be is essential, why it's important to understand what a child's strengths are vs what you want them to have, why your voice becomes your child's internal voice and all the steps needed to help your child learn how to self regulate.

How to Teach Kids Empathy

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Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2020 21:51

In episode 416 of Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things, we are back with our Wednesday segment where I chat with psychologists, therapists, neuroscientists and other experts on the science of personal growth. The month of May will focus on why empathetic kids succeed in our all about me world and features educational psychologist, parenting and child expert and the author of "Unselfie", Dr. Michele Borba. This episode is about how to increase emotional literacy. She talks about why empathy is a verb, how to teach empathy to kids young and old, why teaching to kids will help you improve on empathy as a parent, how a parent can create empathy for a child in as little as 30 seconds, what the three kinds of empathy are (the ABCs) and how you can teach each with an exercise.

9 Essential Habits That Boost Empathy

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Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2020 29:25

In episode 413 of Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things, we are back with our Wednesday segment where I chat with psychologists, therapists, neuroscientists and other experts on the science of personal growth. The month of May will focus on why empathetic kids succeed in our all about me world and features educational psychologist, parenting and child expert and the author of "Unselfie", Dr. Michele Borba. This episode is about the 9 Essential Habits That Boost the Empathy Advantage and Simple Ways to Boost Each for kids. She talks about why kids are struggling nowadays and gives an overview of the the 9 essential habits including emotional literacy, moral identity, perspective taking, moral imagination, self-regulation, practicing kindness, collaboration & teamwork, moral courage, and altruistic leadership.

Ep. 138: Unselfie with Dr. Michele Borba

Public and Permanent®: Real Tales From the Road

Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2020 32:05

Interested in positive strategies for happier children, adolescents, and families? Check out Sunshine Parenting Coaching! Show notes & links available here. In this episode, Audrey's guest is Dr. Michele Borba, an educational psychologist, parenting expert, and author of 24 books. Her most recent book is Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. The aim of Dr. Borba's work is to strengthen children's empathy and resilience and break the cycle of youth violence. In this book, she shares her experience meeting kids from all over the world and discovering the unprecedented global epidemic of mental health disorders. Watch Audrey & Michele's chat on video Big Ideas 1 in 3 kids has overwhelming stress levels. As a generation, kids today are lonelier, more risk-averse, and lacking in curiosity. Dr. Borba began to examine the causes and found the lower the income of the kid, the happier the child. Studies found that in the U.S., teens are nosediving in empathy. There was a 40% drop in 30 years, while narcissism and self-absorption were up 58%. Kids today need to develop empathy. Empathy can be cultivated in our youth and doing so will dramatically enhance their success, happiness, and well-being. Here are some ideas: The Two Kind Rule: say or do at least two kind things every day. Check-in with your kids and ask, "What was something kind you did today?" Model kindness and caring. Talk about your values and moral identity. Show and demonstrate kindness in small and simple ways. 9 Essential Habits that Give Kids the Empathy Advantage: Emotional Literacy: Be able to read someone's feelings, to connect with others, talk about feelings. Moral Identity: Feel inside that caring matters and your values inform good choices. Perspective Taking: Feel another person's point of view. Moral Imagination: Share uplifting literature, film, news, and images as a source of inspiration. Self-Regulation: One simple tip is to teach “Belly Breathing.” Practicing Kindness:Look for simple ways for your child to see you extend kindness. Collaboration & Teamwork: Encourage your child to have contact with individuals of different races, cultures, ages, genders, abilities, and beliefs. Moral Courage: Promote moral courage and teaching children situational awareness to embolden them to speak out, step in, and help others. Altruistic Leadership: Don't think about yourself, think about what you can do for others. Four questions to consider: 1. Which empathy habits are you helping your children acquire? 2. Which empathy habits might you be overlooking? 3. Which empathy habits is your school addressing or may be overlooking? 4. Which habit are you interested in nurturing in your children or students? Quotes Michele: "Empathy is teachable. Our kids are hard-wired to care, but we've got to nurture it and the culture is removing it." Michele: "Parenting right now is all about the G.P.A. and the rank and score. So it puts empathy down on a lower level. All we need to do is flip it around because we'll raise more successful, happier kids who are more prepared for life if we do." Audrey: "When you are not feeling good, the best thing you can do is serve other people. Empathy gets you outside of yourself." Michele: "When we look at kids and who their role models are, 20 - 30 years ago it was, I want to be a helper, a doctor, a teacher, a firefighter. Now? Somebody who is rich and famous." Michele: "If we flip our parenting and weave in how we cultivate empathy, and it's doable. It's not another teacher, not another tutor or worksheet--it's simple little things that we can do on a day-to-day basis that will make a major difference in our children's lives." Michele: "You can't have empathy unless you can read somebody else's feelings. That's emotional literacy. Our kids have been looking down, not up. They've been disconnected. So right now, just start talking feelings more because that's the gateway to empathy." Michele: "Kids need to feel inside their heart and soul that I'm a caring person and that matters. So talk about that in your home. 'That's what we stand for, those are our values.' Because your kid will be likely to step in and do the right thing." Michele: "If we keep asking those simple little things, and weave them in, what we start doing is stretching our kids to think 'WE' not 'ME' and that's what helps our kids to be able to fight the stress." Michele: "When stress builds, empathy goes down and burnout comes up. We're now looking at a population of burned out, overwhelmed individuals." Michele: "My challenge to each kid right now is to think of one person who's struggling. It could be a friend, somebody you may not be able to connect with face-to-face, but what's one simple little thing you can do to reach out and help that person? It will not only get your stress level going down, it'll help that person. That's a win-win." Audrey: "During a time of high stress and high anxiety, the best thing we can do is stop thinking so much about our own stress and our own worry and instead think about, 'What can I do?' Little acts of kindness." Michele: "Parents, don't try to do it all. You'll be overwhelmed and your kids won't be so happy." Michele: "Yes, it's important that you get the grade and you study, but it's also important to have balance. Because what you really want is a child who has two things going for them (heart and mind.) That's the kid who's going to be able to handle life well." Audrey: "Parents, remember, talk about it. If it's important to you, make sure your kids know that it is important to you and that you value kindness and empathy." Audrey: "Our identity is so much more powerful than anything else. So if we want our kids, for example, to be healthy, they need to identify themselves as a healthy person who doesn't take things into their body that are bad for them." Audrey: "A lot of communication to kids is, 'Don't do this, don't do that.' It's so much more powerful to say, 'We are kind. We're going to practice kindness.'" Michele: "Words really do matter. Praise can diminish or increase empathy. One of the simplest things to do is catch your kid with any kind of character trait and use the word 'because' in your praise: 'That was being kind because you held the door open for grandma. Did you see how happy she was?'" Michele: "When kids see the impact of a gesture, they're more likely to repeat the gesture until they become that kindhearted kid. Just tuning up our praise the right way can make a difference." Audrey: "Let's take this time to think more about our family's values and use it as a kind of reset...There are simple things we can do right now to come out of this better, kinder people." Michele: "All of these habits, you weave them in. It's kind of like this little scaffolding trajectory. You start when they're little and you keep on going even when they're out of the house. And what you end up with is habit nine--the altruistic kid who wants to make a difference in the world. That's what our world needs right now. The kid who thinks 'WE,' because we get through stuff together, not alone." Audrey: "It's never too late to start this--or too early--and nd it will lift everybody up. We need more people bringing positive changes to the world. What this world needs is people who care and people who are looking out for each other." Resources Dr. Michele Borba 7 Ways to Teach Perspective Taking and Stretch Children’s Empathy Muscles Empathy Is a Verb: My TEDx Talk to Start An UnSelfie Revolution The Altruistic Personality by Samuel P. Oliner Related 5 Ways to Encourage Empathy in Kids Ep. 124: Promoting Mental Health with Dr. Jess Shatkin 30 Days of Kindness Is Kindness the Secret to a Successful Life? 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs One Simple Thing What are the "little things" that bring you delight? Make a short list, and encourage your kids, your partner, and your friends to do the same. When you take time to create your list, you'll realize how many of the little things you enjoy don't cost anything and can be done even when you're stuck at home. Learning to Enjoy the Little Things My Favorite It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.-Bronnie Ware Bronnie Ware's post, "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying." Here are the five regrets Ware lists in the post and covers in her book by the same name (which I haven't read). 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Ep. 75: Begin with the (Parenting) End in Mind Listener Question This week's listener question came in via email. If you have a question you'd like me to cover on a future episode of the podcast, email me or record a voice message! Hi there, I listen to your podcast and joined your discussion of homeschooling a few weeks ago. I was wondering if you think sleep away camps and day camps will happen this summer. I'd love to hear parents and camp directors on this topic. I'm so eager to have my kids have a "normal" summer but it's feeling more and more likely that they won't. I'd love advice on this topic. Thank you, Laura Hi Laura, I really don't know what's going to happen this summer with camps. All camps will hopefully have more guidance soon, as the American Camp Association and CDC are coming up with guidelines. In following what other camps are doing, some have already decided not to operate this summer, some are modifying sessions and starting later or with smaller groups, and some are planning to operate their regular sessions. The majority (including mine) are waiting to make decisions until we get more guidance from authorities and see what's happening with the Coronavirus. So much depends on what happens with the pandemic and when states allow larger gatherings. So... I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. If your kids have a camp they attend, you could contact them directly and see what they're planning. A "normal" summer would be so nice right about now! Take Care, Audrey

learning kids coronavirus secret talk model praise dying empathy studies cdc take care big ideas ware successful life borba give kids michele borba essential habits belly breathing samuel p unselfie american camp association unselfie why empathetic kids succeed

S1:E5 Story Time With Dr. Michele Borba - Seeds of Peace: Creating Bridges Not Barriers

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2020 17:01

This is the first of multiple visits by Dr. Michele Borba - author of Unselfie - to our show in a mini-series we call, "Story Time With Dr. Borba." Today's episode focuses on the need to practice and teach Empathy - think about WE, not ME - and how you can do this in your school, home and community through books, movies and - thanks to technology - (virtual) museums! Join us for a special episode with author and globally -recognized educational psychologist and parenting, bullying and character expert Dr. Michele Borba. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/publicandpermanent/message

empathy storytime barriers bridges borba michele borba seeds of peace unselfie

TSD Reader's Roundtable: UnSelfie

TSD World Class Podcasts

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2020 25:01

This episode of TSD Reader's Roundtable features the book UnSelfie by Dr. Michele Borba. Kris Griffor moderates with guests Matt Jansen and Dr. Erin Detmer. Together, they discuss their big takeaways and everything they loved about the book.

roundtable michele borba unselfie matt jansen

Younger Older with Jason and Dave: Unselfie Me!

Younger Older

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2020 27:56

older younger unselfie

Unselfie: Parenting Strategies

parenting strategies unselfie

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2019 11:24

Dr Michelle Borba explains why empathetic kids succeed in our all about me world.

Unselfie

Vision Baptist Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2019 39:16

unselfie

EdTech Loop Best Of - Digital Parenting

EdTech Loop Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2019 32:45

The school year is about to begin and the EdTech Loop crew is about ready to get back into the studio. Though I considered attempting to convince Danelle to record a new podcast over the Labour Day weekend, I instead recognized that I value our friendship and decided one more Best Of Episode is a more promising and healthy option. So pop in the earbuds, lay back on the beach towel and soak up the sun one more time before the school bell rings and join our “Digital Parenting,” conversation and as always thanks for listening and inspiring! Danelle Brostrom 3:27 So I turned my phone off so that way it didn't brrrrr in the middle instead of playing video games and just sit on the couch and veg. Why are you always recording Larry Burden 3:35 That will be the intro to the pod...and done. Oops. It is Episode 38 of the TCAPSLoopweekly podcast. My name is Larry Burden and she's convinced Al Bundy was actually a highly enlightened Cyborg. It's Daniel Brostrom. Danelle Brostrom 4:08 I know the reference this week, Larry. Larry Burden 4:12 Oddly, I had to go farther back. Carl Sagan was actually farther back, but still I had to go pretty far back. So well. How you doing? Danelle Brostrom 4:22 Okay. It was great Larry Burden 4:23 doing the Olympics watching. Danelle Brostrom 4:25 Um, a little. We like curling. Larry Burden 4:26 Who doens't like curling. There was a tweet that I ran into on curling or how you watch how somebody watches curling, they had some explicit language, but it was pretty funny. It starts out the first minute, you're like, this is kind of boring. The 10th minute you're going you're like, ooh, he could have curled that stone a little bit better, maybe. The third one was like this highly like after like an hour and a half. You've got like this highly considered opinion on, you know, the tactics of curling. And by the end, you're just completely emotionally invested in it and screaming at the TV "Sweep!, Sweep!" Danelle Brostrom 5:04 accurate. Larry Burden 5:04 It's pretty funny. curling is your sport, anything else? Danelle Brostrom 5:08 No, just curling. Larry Burden 5:13 high levels of athleticism, and curling. I did the opening ceremonies and I haven't really I haven't, I haven't, dove, dove in. Once you dive into the... with what I've learned is once you dive into the Olympics, you're you're into all the sports. But I haven't I haven't gone there yet, which is a bummer. We watched one curling match. Okay, that was that was quite, that was enough. Danelle Brostrom 5:36 Close enough enough. Larry Burden 5:37 I have a feeling sooner or later the figure skating is going to take over my household because I have a lot of girls, Danelle Brostrom 5:43 I do like the figure skating too. That is pretty cool. Larry Burden 5:45 Moving on, it's time, to get into the downward dog position, Your lotus position. clear your mind. It's our moment of Zen. Don't try to waste a lifetime by trying to banish all danger. Just spend a moment now and then to banish fear. Relatively apt, As we dig into the meat of the show, Parenting in the digital age. And I wanted to start by asking this question, we hit this topic, you have your email, do we want to do this? Again? We've kind of done this. I don't think we can do this enough. Danelle Brostrom 6:26 I know. Larry Burden 6:26 I really don't i don't think it's going away. I don't think it's gone away. So, why do we keep coming back to this? Danelle Brostrom 6:32 Well, it's really hard to parent, a digital kid, when you've never been a digital kid. You know, I when I grew up, Larry Burden 6:39 The Wii doesn't count? Danelle Brostrom 6:40 No, the Wii doesn't help. When I grew up. We I mean, we didn't have computers. I mean, we had computers, but nothing, nothing like we do today, until I got into college. And then we were able to use things like the internet for research, you know. Things have changed so much. And they changed so quickly. And our kids know how to do it. And they're on top of it. And they've got ways to get around how we think we've controlled it. So, the more help we can give families and the more we can get families talking about this, I think the better off our kids are going to be. Larry Burden 7:13 Absolutely. So let's talk about this. You and Steffi are doing some presentations, and you dusted off an old Google slideshow. And I was going through it and Oh, wow. This is, you know, we've always talked, I think early on when we're having these discussions we were, finding it hard to find actionable things. Where this is, these are the things that parents, teachers can do. And I was going through the slideshow, and it was like, Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Um, the first one that hit me was make a plan. And If you want to give us some tips abroad, actually the slide show up, If you want to go through why making a plan is so important, because that I think that's, there's a reason why it's number one. Yeah, no, I think making a plan is important making that plan before you actually give your child that device. This isn't like, you know, if my kid wants a finger laying, I go to the store and I buy one, they give it to her, whatever. This this, this is this is the most powerful computer in the world, and they can have it and be connected to everything. 24/7, so making this plan before you give them that device is really important. So think about things like timing, How old should your kids be? And we talked about that, wait until eighth," pledge and another podcast that some families are choosing to wait until the eighth grade point. And then thinking about like, what kinds of activities are you okay with your kids doing online? What kinds of time limits are you going to set? Can kids use media during homework time? Or is that kind of a know you're 100% focused on homework, nothing else? So trying to come up with this, this plan? What are your non negotiables? What are the things that are definitely unacceptable to you and communicate those with your kids. They have to know, this is the line, you do not cross it. And you can consider using a contract such as the 18 point iPhone contract, which is really, really good. It goes through things like I own your phone, I have the right to look at it anytime I want. Things like that. And then having you and your child sign it. Again, that communication with your kid is key. Definitely a non negotiable in our house is going to be the device free dinners. There's a lot of really great Will Ferrell commercials, where they're all sitting around a table and all the kids are like, I Miss Daddy, I Miss Daddy, too. I miss Daddy the most and they're like all sad. And then all of a sudden, you see that Will Ferrell is actually at the table with them, but he's on his phone. And He's like, like, like, like, like, oh, sorry, just five minutes, like, like, like. So you can see that they've I mean, they're trying to put it in a funny way. But in a lot of our families, you know, those devices are taking over that dinner table. And there's so much conversation and bonding that is missed when people are distracted. So I know that's a non negotiable in our house. And that is in our plan that we've made before we give our child a device. Things like rule breaking, you know, decide what the consequences will be when they break the rules. And then kind of plan ahead. The, your kids are going to do some curious searches, we call them. How are you going to address that? How are you going to address explicit text? How having a plan for what you're going to say what you're going to do? Are they going to lose their device? Are they not? Is it going to be punishment elsewhere. And then just staying connected, you know, the more you can foster your relationship with your kids, the more they're going to come to you when they have problems and run into something and I say when because they're going to run into something they don't know how to handle. That's, that's being a kid. That goes back to the the failure podcast, that mindset, you know, the mistakes they're going to make with the digital device aren't necessarily bad, they're going to happen, it's going to happen. Being prepared for when it does happen, is showing good parenting skills. You know, having that plan is saying, okay, when this does happen, this is how we're going to react and not being surprised by it or taken aback or reacting out of fear. Danelle Brostrom 11:13 Yeah, we can't react out of fear. And we can't say, we can't say I'm never going to give my kid a device, or I'm never going to let them connect to the internet. Because that's not realistic, you have to come from a place of, kind of, understanding and recognizing and setting them up in a safe way. So that way when they fail, you're kind of there to help them. Catch them. Larry Burden 11:33 You mentioned it earlier is the modeling. Yeah, Don't be Will Ferrell. And I think we get caught in that a lot. That is...with making a plan, modeling, good digital citizenship or behavior with your device or self control is so important. You know, getting back to the mindfulness thing, we talked about these topics, all these topics, and they all kind of dovetail together into being good stewards of digital, our digital lives. And then modeling, stewardship and good behavior with those devices. And it's not a, If you, if you allow yourself to live your life on your device, your device, and the people that create apps for your device will be more than happy to allow you to do that, they're not going to say, Oh, you really shouldn't be using my app. So it really is up to you to make the decision. And as an adult, you're much more capable, you should be much more capable of making that decision, than your, your students, your kids. So It's really, you know, very, very important for you to do that modeling so that when your kid gets in that situation, then go, this is the right way to interact with my device. Being up, out in front of it, so that they know what correct usage looks like. Danelle Brostrom 13:04 Yeah, they're always watc hing us. And that's scary. But yeah, the whole idea of modeling. And I worry a lot about plugged-in parents. That's what, that's what Common Sense Media calls it. They did a great research project a couple years ago called plugged-in parents and some of the statistics that came from that. Things like parents spend more than nine hours a day with their screens. But 78% of parents believe they're good role models for their children. So we don't see how much time we spend on our screens. And one of the, so my husband I last night and doing some research for this, I made him go on his phone, and you can look and see. It's under "Settings," and then your "battery life." And you can see what your battery life has been spent on in the last 24 hours, in the last seven days. And I was like, look at this. Do you see how much time you spent on Twitter? He's like, Oh, That's not right. Like it is right? That is, that is right. Larry Burden 14:06 Trust me. It's right. Danelle Brostrom 14:07 It is right. So just, but that whole idea of being that, that, that model for balance and mindfulness and being with the people who you're with, but, but it's also it's you need to know, like, if we just go with, Oh, I'm fine, I think I'm fine. No, you need to see those hard numbers and see how long you're on Twitter and how long you're on Facebook. So you can say, Whoa, that is almost a full day of my life that I spend. No I didn't. But I didn't I swear. It's embarrassing. But, But you need to have, you need to see it to be able to recognize how much time we're spending, doing things like that Larry Burden 14:48 Self reflection is a good thing. Danelle Brostrom 14:50 Self reflection. That's what we call it. But you know, when when 41% of our teens and our kids are feeling that our, that their parents are distracted, their parents aren't there with them, when they're on their device, I think that's a problem. Larry Burden 15:04 Well, they'll find somebody to parent them, Danelle Brostrom 15:07 The device will parent them and media will parent them. Larry Burden 15:09 You're You're we were talking about the the wait until eighth pledge. And I think that's, I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't know...You were definitely swimming against the stream with that. You see a lot of the lot of the the iPads with with the with the babies with the kids with the, If it's not their phone, It's the parents phone. If it's not their iPad, It's their parents iPad. You know, allowing the device to be the parent, because we, we believe that we're very, very busy. And we're doing these things. And sometimes it's easier just to do that. That's another that's another role model. That's another modeling situation that you gotta gotta catch yourself, even though it is it is very easy. You hand a child an iPad and your, your parenting job is done. It'll come back later. But at that moment, it's you know, that situation is taken care of Danelle Brostrom 16:13 Yeah but, as a parent, you have to think of the whole picture, like there are definitely times in Meijer where my kids are throwing stuff into the cart and messing with each other. And I'm like, here, you play Daniel Tiger, and here you read a book on the phone, just just, we just have to get through Meijer or, you know, we get home and I'm trying to make dinner and do all the things you need to do. And they're fighting, like here guys, go sit and watch Phineas and Ferb, I'm going to go in the kitchen and do dinner. Like, there are definitely times when that happens as a parent, that's just life. But there's also, we've made choices about what kinds of apps and games and TV shows we allow. And then we make choices on the amount of time, which is a lot smaller than it could be. Larry Burden 16:52 And if you have that plan beforehand, it's going to be a lot easier to make appropriate decisions. So when you do allow for digital device usage, because you have a plan, you're not just giving them the world. At that point in time. You're giving them what you feel as a parent is the appropriate amount of the world. So that, you know, you understand the sandbox that they're playing in. Danelle Brostrom 17:18 For sure, for sure. That and that's another thing that we tell parents is to get, get in that sandbox, you know. Do, do random spot checks of their phone and kind of see, see what what's on there. Make sure that you're the filter for downloading apps, you know, they don't get to just download any apps without you. But get in there. And if they want to download Instagram, you get on Instagram first and see what you think about it and see, see how easy it is to get into trouble or how hard it is and, and then you decide as a parent, whether you want them to have that on their device or not. And, you know, if there's a new video game that they want to play, you know, media has really changed I think about, and like the 1950s, when everyone would kind of gather together around the tiny little TV and you would have conversations, like media was that shared experience. And most living rooms now everybody's kind of on their own device, and nobody's really doing that interacting. So getting in that game yourself. So your kids want to play the video game, pick up the controller and play with them and see, see, see what that just try to recreate that shared experience and be in the game with them and know that they're going to move. You know, if they're on, they're not on Facebook, because we're on Facebook, but if they are on Facebook, it's because they have a nice, perfect version of themselves on Facebook for you, and family. But they're actually on Instagram. So you moved to Instagram, and then they moved to Snapchat. So you move to Snapchat. Like you need to follow and keep up with them, which is a full time job in itself, but you need to do as best that you can do to stay in the game with them. Larry Burden 18:54 And when you do see, your parenting radar goes off because you see a post that they have, or a comment that they have that isn't appropriate, or it doesn't seem quite right. It is then thier, they will fight you on this. But it is your responsibility and your prerogative to say you need to delete this. This is not appropriate and isn't is not representative of, of you as a person and will probably get you in some level of trouble down the road. But really it is your call. As a parent thing, going back to what you were said, you said about, It's your device, you paid for it. And even beyond that, you know, throwing out the, "I paid for it," you know, saying is if you saw your child doing something inappropriate outside of their digital life, you would call them out for it and there would be, you know, repercussions or a conversation. The same thing should should hold for their digital lives as well. So when you do see something, It's a great, it's a great teachable moment. Danelle Brostrom 20:00 For sure. Larry Burden 20:01 You know, and those are in there, their digital life is not going to be stopping anytime soon. So it's just as important to call those moments out. If, If Little Johnny punches little Jill in the face, you're going to, obviously, there's going to be repercussions there. If little Jill snapchats inappropriate comments to little Johnny, the same holds true. There's damage done. We need to be able to look at those as equal situations and you know, treat them the same because they are the effects, you know, student you know, our kids very similarly. Danelle Brostrom 20:40 So we need to remember to be having those conversations with our kids that the internet is loud, and the internet is permanent. So everything that you do, like I can only work hands, all the mistakes that we made weren't videoed, they weren't out for everyone to see. We were able to fail and make those mistakes and kind of be sheltered. But it's not that way anymore, their digital footprint is out there and it's not going away. So those inappropriate comments that they do make, could very well follow them and could affect them in the future in and jobs, and colleges, and the ramifications are just ridiculously crazy for our kids. Larry Burden 21:17 And even there, there frame of reference is considerably smaller, you're telling them that they're going to, their text, or their Snapchat is going to affect their college career, it's probably gonna go right over their head, because I'm not really thinking about it. But letting them know that, that Snapchat was screenshot and though it was screenshot by a friend. You have a, you have a, you know, a bad day with that friend, and suddenly that screenshot is shared everywhere. And that's, you know, that's affecting them in the now and you will probably get there is much more likely to get their attention even though you're looking as a as a parent, you know, three, four or five 6, 10 years down the road. That's not where their field of vision is. So you, they might miss that point. It's not saying that that's not the important point. But whether or not they're going to be hearing that point. Eh, might not be close enough to home. Danelle Brostrom 22:19 Yep. And that's okay. And one of the things that we definitely advocate for are short, repeated conversations, your kids need your guidance. They might not seem like they ever want your guidance, but just that's okay. Just keep keep hitting them with that, you know, they might not be listening now. But it might come back later. And we talked about some different conversation ideas like talking with kids about what does it mean, when your friend doesn't answer right away? Because the kids think, Oh, my gosh, she didn't answer my text, she must hate me. And they go into these little spirals. But maybe she's out playing basketball with her dad, like it's okay that she doesn't answer right away. And the whole idea that behind every online interaction, there's a real person. We talked before about how tech companies use like, some streaks to get you addicted, I think it's important for kids to have that knowledge. How the media reinforces gender stereotypes, impact versus intent with some of the language that happens online. Even just finding examples of kind and unkind comments, you can go on any social media site and see that and talking with your kids about that kind of stuff. We just need to continue to have these conversations. And one of the resources that we share with families is the screenagers website, they have something called Tech Talk Tuesdays, and every single Tuesday, they email you different conversation topics that you can have with your kids at the dinner table. And it's amazing, because I never, I mean, this list is awesome. But I never, I never think about it in the moment. But then on Tuesday, I get that email and I'm like, Oh, okay. Tonight, we're going to talk about these six topics. And I've got three conversation starters. And it's, it's a perfect reminder, and it's a perfect shell of what I should be doing. Larry Burden 23:57 When we're going through this list. And you're you're mentioning resources, my thought was, this is not just for nerds. Danelle Brostrom 24:15 Do you think thsi is just for nerds Larry? You are. I am! Larry Burden 24:21 No, but, you know, I think a lot of times, you might think that, you know, doing these deep digital dives, that going to Common Sense Media, going to, what was the last one that you. Danelle Brostrom 24:36 The Screenagers Tech Talk Tuesday. Larry Burden 24:37 Tech Talk Tuesday, although I'm not, you know, that's not really my bag, you know, I'm not a I'm not a digital person, even though you're on your phone, checking Twitter, you know, 10-15 hours a day. Everybody is, everybody is a nerd now, certainly your kids, you know, the definition may have changed a little bit or a concept of it. We have to recognize that, that even though you're not coding, You are living a digital life. Everybody is living, living a digital life. So we have to be prepared for that. And we weren't taught in school, we weren't given the tools. You know, as parents, we were not given the tools, it wasn't part of our growing up process. You know, a lot of that a lot of the common sense stuff, m ost of the common sense stuff we received, just through growing up that was part of the process is kind of baked in the digital stuff was not. So we do need to kind of kind of backfill those resources, and it isn't going to necessarily be an, you know, obvious, because the playing fields changed. So we kind of have to relearn the rules or learn new rules. And check out those resources, even though it might not be your bag is probably a really wise thing to do. Danelle Brostrom 26:00 For sure. Common Sense Media is one of my favorites. I love that. So, So ideally you should be having these conversations with. But with other parents, you should be talking to the parents of the kids in the houses where your your kid spends time. You know, my kid always has the best, my kid has the best friend, she spends time over there, I should be talking to her mom about media roles in their house. And we should just be having that conversation with the parents that are around us. But if we can't, or we don't feel like we have a parent group around us Common Sense, Media is great for that. Because there's a whole entire section on parent concerns. There's a whole entire section on parenting advice blog, so you can go on and you can get advice for how to deal with curious searches, or when to get your kid a cell phone or one the other day, it was just different things you can do to your own phone to help you be more in the moment. And I mean, there's the reviews and the ratings. And those are amazing, because you can go on and find reviews and ratings for any book, movie games, apps, any of that stuff, but the whole parenting section that you can join this online community and kind of lurk and see what's going on. And that you can have this group of knowledgeable parents around you as you go into the media digital battlefield. That's what it feels like sometimes, but it's just it's nice to have Common Sense Media in your bag. Larry Burden 27:21 I think sometimes our kids think it's a battlefield. Danelle Brostrom 27:22 It is a battlefield Larry Burden 27:25 Give them helmets. Go on out there, get into the trenches! Danelle Brostrom 27:28 It is. Larry Burden 27:29 So You know, when I was thinking about this earlier, I thought less is more. But it's more better than none. I'm saying that as far as you know, less screen time is better, You know, but is more better than not isolating them from? Danelle Brostrom 27:50 You can't isolate them from. Larry Burden 27:52 I think that's what I was getting to. That ship has sailed. Danelle Brostrom 27:56 Yeah. Larry Burden 27:56 So at some point in time, they're going to live in the digital world. Unknown Speaker 28:02 Larry, I saw a statistic yesterday, from a research paper that 98% of our kids ages two and over have access to a device Larry Burden 28:11 ages 2, 2 and over Danelle Brostrom 28:14 They can barely talk but they have access to a device. That's sailed. Larry Burden 28:18 Yeah. So you can't, do the ostrich you put your head in the sand. Danelle Brostrom 28:24 I want to. Larry Burden 28:26 and say this is going away? It's not. You can say that we don't live that type of lifestyle. You probably do. So, and your kids certainly are. So educate yourself. Yeah, make sure that you're educated and that you have, I loved what you said about you know, talk about this with your friends, with your fellow parents, it doesn't necessarily have to be doing a bunch of research online. You know, find your peers and talk with them about it. I think that's a great idea. Danelle Brostrom 28:58 Yeah. Because you can guarantee that they have the same concerns and the same frustrations and the same, "nobody knows what they're doing." That's like, that's like the secret of parenting that I found out recently. Nobody knows what they're doing. We're all just trying to figure it out as we go. But if I listened to like, what you know, and what you know, and what you know, and what, you know, I can kind of put it all together and, okay, I feel a little bit better, you know. Larry Burden 29:17 And you know, we when we talk about our own social media environments, we tend not to Facebook, Twitter, whatever might be a great resource. Or Instagram might be a great resource for asking those questions. Except we don't, we don't we don't we don't actually you tend to use that we tend to paint paint a pretty picture of our lives, Instead of asking the tough questions, that those spaces might actually be useful, that. Though I would argue that sometimes those spaces don't lead to the conversations you'd like to have on those topics. Danelle Brostrom 29:50 Now have it in person, have it around the coffee table? Just be with people? Larry Burden 29:56 Absolutely. So what else you got? Danelle Brostrom 29:57 What else I got. Larry Burden 29:57 There's a lot of slides. Danelle Brostrom 30:00 There's a lot of really good information on here. And I would like to link this up, but like, okay, so we talked before that I'm a nerd. And yes, I am a nerd. But there's a bunch of really, really good books out right now that I would recommend, "The Art of Screen Time," how your family can balance digital media and real life, "Unselfie," why empathetic kids succeed in an all about me world, "Irresistible." We talked about that before the rise of addictive technology and the business of keeping us hooked. "Social Media Wellness," helping teens and tweens thrive in an unbalanced digital world. And then you know, we, we've talked about it sometimes on the Loop weekly podcast. So keeping in tune with what we're doing. And then the Common Sense Media and the Screenagers website, Those are my, my, if you want to branch out and do other reading, That's where I would recommend going to. Larry Burden 30:48 Reading? Danelle Brostrom 30:49 Reading. I read so many books. Yeah, Larry Burden 30:52 that's a good thing. Danelle Brostrom 30:52 It's a good thing. Larry Burden 30:53 All right, anything else, or we're gonna be over. This conversation could go on much longer. I don't think we got to a quarter of the slides. Danelle Brostrom 31:03 Are you saying I have too many slides? Larry Burden 31:04 So again, going back to the email earlier, when you asked, "have we beaten this to death?" No, no, there'll be a no! we could do this every week. And I don't think it'd be enough to be honest. But I am cutting you off. So Tech Tool of the Week, Danelle Brostrom 31:24 Tech Tool of the Week, I want to share with you this really cool thing that my daughter got from the Public Library. I know some of our secondary schools at TCAPS and a couple of elementary schools have have these in their library, too. So this is called a Play Away. She's currently listening to Sarah Penny Packers novel called, "Packs." And This is the entire novel on this little device. So she plugs headphones into it. And she starts it and she can start and stop, she can play, She can change the speed of the reading, which I really like that kids that want to listen to a little faster, a little slower can have it. But what I like about this is it offers, it offers our kids access to novels that maybe they couldn't read themselves. We know that, that's why we give kids books on tape. But these are really, really cool. They're really tiny, they can fit in the pocket. She's listening to them in the car, this is the only way I can get her to do chores. because she'll put it on while she's doing things around the house. And my kid's a big reader, she walks into walls, let's be honest, she holds her book up and she walks into walls. Well, now she's listening. So she doesn't walk into walls all the time. So, we love Play Aways. But they have these for adults too. And I just think this is a really cool way to like I said, I'm a big reader, but I don't always have time to sit and physically read books, Play Aways are great for that. They're awesome. They have like I said they haven't for adults, but on the Public Library has quite a big selection. And our secondary schools have a selection as well. So... Larry Burden 32:51 Little updates, tutorials and updates. Actually, I haven't checked the tutorial situation. So I don't know if anybody's put anything on there. Wanted to let you know, we recorded a "Gamification" pod with the TechNollerGist, yesterday that was a lot of fun. Was in Traverse Heights last week and did a fun actually Danielle was there, did a fun Maker Space Launch Pad little video that's that's posted. If you want to get a maker space going and you're wondering, what does it look like? That's a it's a nice little one minute video to kind of give you a brief, brief glimpse. They haven't got the Tech Tool a playlist up yet, but still want to do that. So all your tech tools of the week will be in one spot. And I wanted to bring up something that maybe isn't tech focused, but I thought was really important. East Middle School did a documentary on opioid use. And it is, it's a hard watch. And it was put together by the middle school students. It was the digital media class over at East Middle School. And I highly advise any parent to to watch it and sit down with their kids and watch. It's about 15 minutes long. But we'll have the link to that in the show notes, show notes. It's you know, digital citizenship and digital literacy is very important. This is kind of another side that's as far as parenting goes. It's kind of an ugly truth that I think a lot of times we want to avoid, But it is a problem. So I highly recommend watching that. Danelle Brostrom 34:26 What class Larry did you say did that? Larry Burden 34:28 It's the digital media class. Danelle Brostrom 34:29 Awesome. They were trying to make... TrojanTV and community or something like that. Larry Burden 34:34 Yeah, So I want to make the segue. Our Superintendent spoke about this at last night's board meeting, and he attempted to make a positive segue out of it. And it didn't work so I'm not even gonna try. So I'm just gonna say Follow us on Facebook and Twitter @TCAPSLoop Danelle Brostrom 34:54 @brostromda Larry Burden 34:56 Check out the TCAPSloop blog at tcapsloop.tcaps.net. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud and the Google Play Store, leave a review. We love the feedback. Any advice that you have that you might want to share? Feel free to leave that to. So we'd love to have a conversation about this. What are you doing with your kids to help them deal with thier digital lives. Thanks for listening and inspiring. Danelle Brostrom 35:27 That was good. Larry Burden 35:28 That was good.

Jesus on Distraction

Chris Aho's Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2019 21:40

A sermon from the story of Mary and Martha for Oxford Baptist Church.

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Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert, motivational speaker, spokesperson, and award winning author on children, teens, parenting, bullying, and moral development. She is a national media contributor and has made regular appearances on the TODAY show, Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show, and CNN. Her work has been featured in national magazines, newspapers, and media all over the world. In this episode, Dr. Borba talks about her book “UnSelfie.” Additionally, she shares advice for teens, parents, and educators on Character Development, School Culture, and Bullying. Later, Wildcat Nation students reflect on Borba’s insights into Empathy.

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Why Empathetic Kids Succeed

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Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2018 11:24

In this "All About Me" world, Dr Michele Borba, author of "Unselfie" explains how to raise great kids.

Stop the Selfies and Start thinking 'We' not 'Me'

thinking selfies unselfie

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2018 11:24

Author of "Unselfie," Dr Michelle Borba helps parents get their kids away from the selfie and start thinking more about others.

A TLP Snippet 12: #GivingTuesday

Truth.Love.Parent. with AMBrewster | Christian | Parenting | Family

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2017 3:02

Today we share two amazing ways for you to celebrate #GivingTuesday! Donate on the Victory Academy website. Donate on the Victory Academy Facebook page and have your gift matched! Print out your #UNselfie template! 5 Ways to Support TLP Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Follow AMBrewster on Twitter. Subscribe on YouTube. Need some help? Write to us at Counselor@TruthLoveParent.com.

Unselfie- Raising Empathetic Kids in an All About Me World

It Takes a Village Podcast - Motherhood | Marriage | All The Things

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2017 32:56

Dr. Borba is a globally-recognized educational psychologist and parenting, bullying and character expert whose aim is to strengthen children’s empathy and resilience, and break the cycle of youth violence. Dr. Michele Borba and I, get into the 9 habits kids need to nurture empathy and why it's so important that they have this skill. We talk about how we can start teaching our kiddos about empathy today and how we may be unknowingly contributing to our kids thinking it's all about them. Also, fear not teen mommas! Dr. Borba talks about how it's not too late for teens to start displaying empathy either! theashcarroll.com

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Teaching UnSelfie

It Takes A Village

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2017 22:16

Psychologist Sarb Johal talks with Kathryn about encouraging and cultivating empathy in children.

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Teaching UnSelfie

RNZ: It Takes A Village

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2017 22:16

Psychologist Sarb Johal talks with Kathryn about encouraging and cultivating empathy in children.

teaching empathy life and society unselfie

Jessica Lahey on The Gift of Failure in Childhood

The Other F Word: Conversations About Failure

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2017 47:23

Author of The Gift of Failure, Jessica Lahey, speaks about the value of letting children experience failure as a necessary part of learning and growing, both at home and in the classroom. For more information on topics in this podcast click below: http://www.jessicalahey.com "Parenting, Not for the Moment, but for the Long Haul": https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/10/parenting-not-for-the-moment-but-for-the-long-haul/?src=twr&_r=0 The Stinky and Dirty Show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmJfAiKifuI Carol Dweck, Mindset: https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322 Tim Harford, Success Always Starts with Failure: https://www.amazon.com/Adapt-Success-Always-Starts-Failure-ebook/dp/B004OA62UO/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1488867085&sr=1-1&keywords=adapt+by+tim+harford Michele Borba, Unselfie: https://www.amazon.com/UnSelfie-Empathetic-Succeed-All-About-Me-World-ebook/dp/B010MH9V64/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1488867110&sr=1-1&keywords=unselfie Making Caring Common: http://mcc.gse.harvard.edu Dan Pink's Drive: https://www.amazon.com/Drive-Surprising-Truth-About-Motivates/dp/1594484805 Michael Thpmpson's Homesick and Happy: https://www.amazon.com/Homesick-Happy-Time-Parents-Child/dp/0345524926 www.theotherfwordpodcast.com

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Larry speaks with IBPA Keynoter Michele Borba

ConnectSafely Live

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2016 10:17

Larry speaks with Michele Borba, the IBPA keynoter and author of several books including Unselfie and The 6rs of Bullying Prevention

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Larry speaks with IBPA Keynoter Michele Borba

ConnectSafely

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2016 10:17

Larry speaks with Michele Borba, the IBPA keynoter and author of several books including Unselfie and The 6rs of Bullying Prevention

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Raising Resilience presents Michele Borba Ed.D on Nov 9th (WU-303)

What's Up Bainbridge

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2016 13:37

Fresh from her latest appearance on NBC's "Today" show, internationally recognized author, speaker and educator, Michele Borba, Ed.D, joins our BCB podcast by Skype to describe the upcoming talk she will be giving to parents of teens. Her speaking event will be at the Commons of Bainbridge High School on Wednesday Nov 9th at 7:30pm -- the evening after election day. The event is brought to you by the local Raising Resilience organization, and co-sponsored by the Bainbridge Island Healthy Youth Alliance. Michele Borba's latest book is called "Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in an All-About-Me World," which is available locally at Eagle Harbor Books. The topic of encouraging our kids to learn and practice empathy will be a significant part of her talk. That talk is a major event in the Healthy Youth Alliance's 8-month educational campaign called "Beyond the Report Card: Cultivating What Matters", which is designed for local parents and other adults who care about teens. That campaign just started and it's not too late to participate at the Healthy Youth website. In this 13 minute podcast, Michele explains that empathy is a trait that any of us, and certainly teens, can learn and practice. As she says, empathy isn't "just for girls", and it isn't something that you're either born with ... or not. Hosting this interview is local BCB volunteer Christina Hulet, herself a mother of two children, and Healthy Youth Alliance director Cezanne Allen MD. Cezanne explains the Healthy Youth Alliance's current 8-month offering of events and readings that are designed to enable busy adults to learn effective ways of helping teens advance beyond the anxieties and pressures of their lives. Learn more about the Healthy Youth Alliance 8-month learning campaign at You're welcome to download free copies of her "Unselfie" discussion guide for parents, and her discussion guide for educators, at the BCB web page for this podcast. Credits: BCB host: Christina Hulet; BCB audio editor and social media publisher: Barry Peters.

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Healthy Youth Alliance offers a free 8-month learning experience (CAFE-049)

What's Up Bainbridge

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2016 13:22

In this 13-minute conversation with Cezanne Allen, learn about the upcoming 8-month live and online campaign of the Bainbridge Healthy Youth Alliance, called: "Beyond the Report Card: Cultivating What Matters". Participation is being offered at no charge to parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers and anyone else interested in helping kids thrive. The campaign, which starts October 4th, includes a print booklet, weekly blog posts, relevant articles, weekly Facebook posts, monthly BCB podcasts, and handouts at events. In addition, on Nov. 9th, there will be a guest lecture by Michele Borba PhD, author of "Unselfie". The aim of the Alliance is to create an 8-month learning adventure leading to a community culture where every child has what they need to thrive, connect, contribute, learn and prepare for a fulfilling career. The Healthy Youth Alliance is a collaborative partnership of organizational leaders, teens, parents, teachers and individuals working together for positive youth development. For this project, Raising Resilience (where Cezanne comes from), joins with the School District, Rotary Club, Bainbridge Community Foundation, Bainbridge Youth Services and the local Boys and Girls Club. From October to May, the campaign will devote a month to exploring -- online and in live events -- each of eight traits of a healthy state of mind: empathy, curiosity, sociability, resilience, self-awareness, integrity, resourcefulness and creativity. Those traits are derived from a framework developed by local developmental psychologist Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD. Much of the learning will focus on practical ways that those 8 healthy traits can be nurtured by parents, guardians, teachers and anyone working with youth. National trends show that 12th graders with “high” quality of life scores, reflecting their perception of their own mental and physical health, is trending downwards. These trends are reflected in the UCLA American Freshman Survey, which shows that the emotional health of incoming college freshmen is at its lowest level in three decades. Bainbridge Island is notable not just for academic excellence in its schools, but also for being a community that cares about the wellbeing of its kids. That caring goes beyond external success evidenced by grades, extra-curricular achievements and accomplishments. This campaign is designed to help our youth discover their basic goodness and understand that “success” is not just what they do, but who they are. Because participation is mostly online, with coordination of all resources through BHYA's web page, there are no prescribed meetings or workshops requiring attendance. Participants can access materials online at their own time and convenience. For further information, visit the website of the Bainbridge Healthy Youth Alliance. Credits: BCB host: Channie Peters; BCB audio editor and social media publisher: Barry Peters.

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Healthy Youth Alliance offers a free 8-month learning experience (CAFE-049)

Community Cafe Bainbridge

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2016 13:23

In this 13-minute conversation with Cezanne Allen, learn about the upcoming 8-month live and online campaign of the Bainbridge Healthy Youth Alliance, called: "Beyond the Report Card: Cultivating What Matters". Participation is being offered at no charge to parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers and anyone else interested in helping kids thrive. The campaign, which starts October 4th, includes a print booklet, weekly blog posts, relevant articles, weekly Facebook posts, monthly BCB podcasts, and handouts at events. In addition, on Nov. 9th, there will be a guest lecture by Michele Borba PhD, author of "Unselfie". The aim of the Alliance is to create an 8-month learning adventure leading to a community culture where every child has what they need to thrive, connect, contribute, learn and prepare for a fulfilling career. The Healthy Youth Alliance is a collaborative partnership of organizational leaders, teens, parents, teachers and individuals working together for positive youth development. For this project, Raising Resilience (where Cezanne comes from), joins with the School District, Rotary Club, Bainbridge Community Foundation, Bainbridge Youth Services and the local Boys and Girls Club. From October to May, the campaign will devote a month to exploring -- online and in live events -- each of eight traits of a healthy state of mind: empathy, curiosity, sociability, resilience, self-awareness, integrity, resourcefulness and creativity. Those traits are derived from a framework developed by local developmental psychologist Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD. Much of the learning will focus on practical ways that those 8 healthy traits can be nurtured by parents, guardians, teachers and anyone working with youth. National trends show that 12th graders with “high” quality of life scores, reflecting their perception of their own mental and physical health, is trending downwards. These trends are reflected in the UCLA American Freshman Survey, which shows that the emotional health of incoming college freshmen is at its lowest level in three decades. Bainbridge Island is notable not just for academic excellence in its schools, but also for being a community that cares about the wellbeing of its kids. That caring goes beyond external success evidenced by grades, extra-curricular achievements and accomplishments. This campaign is designed to help our youth discover their basic goodness and understand that “success” is not just what they do, but who they are. Because participation is mostly online, with coordination of all resources through BHYA’s web page, there are no prescribed meetings or workshops requiring attendance. Participants can access materials online at their own time and convenience. For further information, visit the website of the Bainbridge Healthy Youth Alliance. Credits: BCB host: Channie Peters; BCB audio editor and social media publisher: Barry Peters.

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07/13/16 Michele Borba and “Unselfie”/ Dr. Jacqueline Peters and “High Performance Relationships”

relationships peters high performance michele borba unselfie

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2016 14:59

07/13/16 Michele Borba and “Unselfie”/ Dr. Jacqueline Peters and “High Performance Relationships”

relationships peters high performance michele borba unselfie

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2016 14:58

07/13/16 Michele Borba and “Unselfie”/ Dr. Jacqueline Peters and “High Performance Relationships”

relationships peters high performance michele borba unselfie

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2016 15:01

07/13/16 Michele Borba and “Unselfie”/ Dr. Jacqueline Peters and “High Performance Relationships”