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In this episode, Dr. Dekker's joined by Gena Jaffe, an LGBTQ+ activist, attorney, and founder of Connecting Rainbows©️. Gena shares her personal story of embarking on reciprocal IVF with her wife and the legal hurdles they faced as a lesbian couple. From navigating complex parental rights to accessing inclusive healthcare, Gena sheds light on the challenges faced by some LGBTQ+ individuals and families on their path to parenthood. Gena's experience led her to creating Connecting Rainbows©️, a groundbreaking organization offering free legal and fertility resources tailored to the LGBTQ+ community. Tune in for an empowering conversation celebrating diversity, resilience, and the journey of building loving, inclusive families. Resources: Learn more about Connecting Rainbows©️ here! Follow Connecting Rainbows©️ on Instagram. Find support from Fertility Out Loud here. Learn more about the Family Equality Council here. EBB 227 – Amplifying the Need for Intersectional Birth Support for QTBIPOC Birthing People with Xian Brooks of the Dandy Doula EBB 182 – Black-led Queer and Trans Birth Work with Mystique Hargrove, Kortney Lapeyrolerie, and Nadine Ashby EBB 180 – Trauma-Informed Care and Consent with Feminist Midwife, Stephanie Tillman EBB 179 – An Empowering and Transformative Home Birth Experience with Trish and Mimi Ang EBB 160 – Introducing Mystique Hargrove: EBB Featured Instructor For more information about Evidence Based Birth and a crash course on evidence based care, visit www.ebbirth.com. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok! Ready to learn more? Grab an EBB Podcast Listening Guide or read Dr. Dekker's book, "Babies Are Not Pizzas: They're Born, Not Delivered!" If you want to get involved at EBB, join our Professional membership (scholarship options available) and get on the wait list for our EBB Instructor program. Find an EBB Instructor here, and click here to learn more about the EBB Childbirth Class.
Author Lane Igoudin discusses his new memoir, A Family, Maybe: Two Dads, Two Babies and the Court Cases that Brought Us Together. In this book, Lane details the challenges—legal, political, and personal—that he and his partner Jonathan faced in the early 2000s while trying to adopt their two foster children through the Los Angeles County child welfare system. The process took three years and was fraught with much stress, numerous court delays, and plenty of heartache. A Family, Maybe is a story about building a family and discovering what it means to be a father. But ultimately, it is a story about love.
In this compelling episode, Candy sits down with Heather Hester to discuss her profound journey from jotting down initial thoughts to becoming a published author with a mission to support LGBTQ+ families. With the release of her new book, Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen. Heather delves into the challenges she faced in writing a book deeply rooted in her personal experiences, especially the moments of her child's coming out. The episode highlights how Heather's work aims to provide support and understanding for families navigating similar paths, emphasizing the importance of community support and shared experiences in the LGBTQ+ context. Highlights:1. Purpose-Driven Writing: Heather shares her motivation for writing the book, centered on supporting families like hers when a child comes out as LGBTQ+.2. The Journey from Idea to Publication: Explore Heather's initial book concepts, the interruption by the pandemic, and the pivotal encouragement from a fellow podcaster that led to publication.3. Seeking Community in Authorship: Heather discusses the invaluable lessons learned about seeking community support during the book writing process and her plans to foster connections in future projects.4. Editorial Relationships: Insights into Heather's editorial process, where rigorous feedback helped refine her message to better reach and support LGBTQ+ families.5. The Mission to Minimize Isolation: Heather explains how her book serves as a resource for parents and families, aiming to reduce the sense of isolation and provide guidance during a child's coming out process.Featured on This Show:Click here to find out how to work with meClick here to access valuable free resources for coachesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/candymotzek/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/candy-motzek/ Heather HesterHeather Hester is the founder of Chrysalis Mama which provides support and education to parents and allies of LGBTQIA adolescents, teenagers, and young adults. She is also the creator/host of the Top 1.5% podcast Just Breathe: Parenting your LGBTQ+ Teen. As an advocate and coach, she believes the coming out process is equal parts beautiful and messy. She works with her clients to let go of fear and feelings of isolation so that they can reconnect with themselves and their children with awareness and compassion. Heather also works within organizations via specialized programming to bring education and empowerment with a human touch.She is so excited to announce the release of her first book on May 14, 2024 - Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ Teen. Married to the funniest guy she's ever known and the mother of four extraordinary kids (two of whom are LGBTQIA) and one sassy mini bernedoodle, Heather believes in being authentic and embracing the messiness. You can almost always find her with a cup coffee nearby whether she's at her computer, on her yoga mat, or listening to her favorite music.Website: www.chrysalismama.comLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/hhchrysalismamaFree Gift:
Listen in as I tackle the delicate and profound topic of same-sex couples with children within the church community. We explore the intricate journey these families may face, particularly the pursuit of repentance and the challenges of maintaining family stability during such transitions. I share insights on the imperative of parents to model a life of repentance and find their fulfillment in Jesus, emphasizing the church's role in providing unwavering support, love, and guidance during these transformative times. This conversation also touches upon the parallels between same-sex families and other non-traditional family structures, reinforcing the message that God's grace abounds where the family ideal is not met. As we continue, we delve into the emotional complexities that can arise when one partner in a same-sex relationship seeks to deepen their relationship with Christ. This often leads to difficult decisions regarding separation and the potential for custody disputes over children. I discuss the importance of gospel repentance and the church's commitment to creating a stable, nurturing environment for all involved. We consider the painful sacrifices that may be required but conclude with a reminder of the hope and better future that Jesus promises. Tune in for an honest and compassionate examination of these sensitive issues, as we reaffirm our dedication to spreading the gospel and engaging in ministry that bridges the gaps in the lives of both adults and children.TIMESTAMPS:(00:16) - Navigating Same-Sex Couples in Church (08:15) - Navigating Repentance in Same-Sex Relationships (14:56) - Spreading Gospel and Engaging MinistryJoin us weekly as we strive help people embrace God's standard for sexuality! Other ways to listen:https://linktr.ee/calibrateconversations
The breadth of experiences that people from the LGBTQI+ community go through cannot possibly be covered in one episode, but today we're making a start on how to support the community with lactation in its many forms.I'm speaking to BJ Woodstein IBCLC, who is also a doula, an academic and a translator, about the many choices open to Queer parents, including induced lactation, feeding after surrogacy and SNS chest feeding, as well as the discrimination that many face during medical care and in the workplace.Follow BJ on Instagram @bjwoodsteinHer website is www.bjwoodstein.comAnd her book, We're Here! A Practical Guide to Becoming an LGBTQ+ Parent by B.J. Woodstein - PraeclarusPressMy new book, ‘Supporting the Transition from Breastfeeding: a Guide to Weaning for Professionals, Supporters and Parents', is out now.You can get 10% off the book at the Jessica Kingsley press website, that's uk.jkp.com using the code MMPE10 at checkout.Follow me on Twitter @MakesMilk and on Instagram @emmapickettibclc or find out more on my website www.emmapickettbreastfeedingsupport.comResources mentioned in this episode - Some listings and resources mentioned here (US focused): Our Favorite Queer and Trans-Centered Resources for Families and Birth Workers — Birthing Advocacy Doula Trainings (badoulatrainings.org)UK directory here: The Great LGBTQ UK Business Directory! http://lesbemums.comThis podcast is presented by Emma Pickett IBCLC, and produced by Emily Crosby Media.
“Family Proclamations” is the brand new podcast by Blair Hodges, host of Fireside. Enjoy this sample episode and be sure to subscribe directly to Family Proclamations now, because FP will be fully switching over soon!
With the legalization of same-sex marriage in 2015, queer families are more visible today than ever. But the path to becoming a parent is complicated for LGBTQ people. Dr. Abbie E. Goldberg, psychologist and researcher, provides LGBTQ parents and prospective parents with the detailed, evidence‑based knowledge they need to navigate the transition to parenthood and help their children thrive. Her evidence-based research can benefit all families. Transcript ABBIE GOLDBERG: For me, it would have been a light bulb even to see one LGBT family and to know this was something that was real, and this was happening. But it wasn't being talked about. And the invalidation those families face is heartbreaking to me because it doesn't have to be this way. Everyone's families can be recognized as valid. We don't have to demonize certain kinds of families. BLAIR HODGES: When Abbie Goldberg was growing up with two moms, she didn't see any families that looked like hers. People had a lot of questions about LGBTQ families, like whether kids like Abbie would turn out alright being raised in a queer household. Today, Abbie's a clinical psychologist and an internationally recognized scholar of LGBTQ families. She's an expert on how queer families are made—especially the practical and legal obstacles they face. She also understands the strength these families bring to the family-making enterprise. In this episode, Abbie joins us to talk about her new book, LGBTQ Family Building: A Guide for Prospective Parents. There are many ways to be a family, and every kind of family has something we can learn from. I'm Blair Hodges, and this is Family Proclamations. MAKING FAMILIES VISIBLE – 1:43 BLAIR HODGES: Abbie E. Goldberg joins us today on Family Proclamations. Abbie, it's really great to have you on the show. ABBIE GOLDBERG: Thank you so much for having me. BLAIR HODGES: You've done decades of research, you've written a lot of journal articles, a lot of books and academic work about LGBTQ families. What inspired you to write about this topic and to research this as your career? ABBIE GOLDBERG: I'm going to go way back. I was raised in a queer parent family myself in the eighties, mostly in the suburbs of New York. I did not see my family represented in most media depictions of families and most of what we were reading about families in school. I grew up thinking a lot about what families are visible and what families are invisible. I was always really passionate about trying to understand and to make visible different kinds of families. BLAIR HODGES: Wow. That was well before, obviously, the legalization of same-sex marriage. What was that like for you? Were you only child? Siblings? What was the family like? ABBIE GOLDBERG: I have two brothers, one much older than me and one younger. We experienced our heterosexual parent's relationship dissolution at different times in our life. So it shaped us, I think, in different ways. Our family from the outside looked pretty typical, like a divorced family. On the inside, my mother was partnered with a woman. That was really not something most people knew. It was only something we started talking about when I went to college, maybe late in high school. A few people knew, but it was mostly a secret. I thought a lot about that over the last couple of decades, about how keeping those kinds of secrets—when there's really nothing wrong with your family as it is, it's that it's just not accepted in the broader society—how that can shape kids. BLAIR HODGES: That makes me think of two things. One, the fact that there's been a sea change here in your own lifetime, you're a part of a big change in visibility for families. Also, the fact that families like this have always existed in some way, or people have always been experiencing feelings in love, and trying to make that work in a society that hasn't always been accepting. The work you're doing for prospective parents in this book is really valuable. In a way your own family was pioneering things, and now you as a scholar are a pioneer in helping move that along. I didn't know that about you before I set up the interview. That's really fascinating. ABBIE GOLDBERG: Thank you. Oprah Daily did an interesting piece profiling my work and how my personal life influenced me and a little bit about my trajectory. It's a fun piece. It's done by a wonderful New York Times reporter I've worked with over the years and who I trusted enough to tell my story. It gives a little bit more detail. GETTING PERSONAL – 4:26 BLAIR HODGES: Say a little bit more about that "trusted enough," because obviously this is a really personal thing. When you're thinking about being public about it, what was that like for you? ABBIE GOLDBERG: When I was earlier in my career, I was advised by some folks not to really talk about my own personal experience and how it shaped my interests and my trajectory. I think that's complicated advice. I'm not going to say it's bad advice. I think what people were concerned about is, so many of the high-profile researchers studying LGBT families were gay themselves and there was some concern that their work was invalidated because of that. Here comes this nice cisgender, straight woman, by all intents and purposes that's the way I am perceived, and so I can sort of elevate my work in a different way, and maybe be taken seriously and get the work taken seriously in a different way. I think because of that, there was a kind of excitement. On the other hand, I think the personal is important. I'm at a stage in my career where I don't really have concerns about sharing my story in the way that it could affect my access to certain opportunities, for example. BLAIR HODGES: That's interesting you got that kind of advice. We've seen a shift where people are a bit more confessional now in the academy. Scholars might be more willing to talk about where they're coming from, about their background, but there are ongoing taboos. I think this still exists, and there is a fear it could call into question people's research or something. On the other hand, I think knowing a little bit about your background helps because of who you are as a person. There have always been questions about whether non-heteronormative families could raise successful children, or what those families would look like, and so not only are you doing research, in some ways you yourself complicate stereotypes that way. Thanks for sharing that. I'll make sure to link to that piece in the show notes so people can check that out. This book is set apart from your other work because it's written for a broader audience. Doing academic research, an article might reach dozens, if you're lucky. [laughter] After so much work, you've turned to write for a broader audience for this. Talk about that decision a little bit and how that's been for you. AUDIENCE – 6:52 ABBIE GOLDBERG: My work has straddled both the traditional academic audience and the more popular press over the last ten years, but definitely I've been increasingly moving towards a more mainstream audience. I wrote a book in 2012 called Gay Dads, but it was with an academic press. A lot of lay people seem to have read it, because I still get emails about it. But it was more of a story about how do gay dads become dads. This is taking all the things I've learned in the last twenty years and saying, "Here's some information I hope will be helpful to you." There are stories in it, there are vignettes, there's a lot of data for people who want that. But there's a lot of guidance and exercises and thought questions, and really trying to make this information interesting and usable for a wider range of folks. DECIDING TO BECOME A PARENT – 7:52 BLAIR HODGES: The questions you include for the reader are so helpful. Throughout the chapters there are different places where it'll just have a series of questions you can ask yourself, or you can talk to a partner about, about things like whether you want to have kids, or just a lot of different things. The kinds of questions that it's helpful to have someone who's spent so much time in this space give some ideas for people to discuss. To me, one of my favorite parts of the book were those question sections, because I'm cis-het—I have a partner and two kids. We look very "traditional." And even for me a lot of those questions were useful. ABBIE GOLDBERG: I think a lot of the questions are great for anybody to ask themselves. We need to start thinking about parenthood, I hope, as something people think through before they endeavor to pursue it. Do I want to be a parent? Do I feel like I need a partner? When do I want to be a parent? What kinds of things do I have to have achieved or reached personally before I pursue that? What's valuable to me? I think right now we're at a point where so many folks are really considering parenthood much more seriously in the sense that they're not just automatically assuming they'll do it. But they're thinking about the state of the world. They're thinking about climate change. They're thinking about things that make them pause a bit. I think that's great. I don't love the reasons for why people have to pause, but I love that people are really asking themselves, why do I want to be a parent? Is this an important part of my journey in this lifetime? BLAIR HODGES: One thing that really stood out to me in your chapter about deciding to become a parent is, when people are thinking about that question you suggest that LGBTQ folks are usually more likely to spend more time on this question, in part just because of being a new visible type of family system. Talk a little bit about that. There's probably been more deliberation for queer couples than for heteronormative couples. ABBIE GOLDBERG: A big piece is parenthood has not been expected. It's not seen as a normative life goal or transition, which of course is evidence of heteronormativity—the idea that's just something straight married people do. In a way that encourages that deliberation, that consciousness, but of course, there's also so many more practical barriers. Will my family support me? Will I be able to be a parent? Especially right now if I want to adopt, can I find an agency that will work with us? If I want to pursue biological means of parenthood, what are the implications, for example, of the Dobbs decision for my access to in vitro fertilization? Thinking through the many, many hurdles folks have to go through, inevitably it's going to be a much more deliberate ponderous process. BLAIR HODGES: It's much rarer to have an accidental pregnancy or something for queer couples. ABBIE GOLDBERG: Right. I mean, it does happen because there are so many bisexual folks, for example, and queer folks and people who have sex with people with different reproductive organs, that it absolutely can happen. In fact, there's some data showing that among young people, among teens, that queer and trans people are actually at a higher risk of unintended pregnancy because they don't experience or receive appropriate STI prevention that is geared towards their specific circumstances. It's all very heteronormative. Or they think they can't get pregnant. That aside, there are unintended pregnancies, but it's not typical for the situation we're thinking about, which is a same-sex couples. REIMAGINING THE FUTURE – 11:35 BLAIR HODGES: One of the most moving parts, I don't remember who the person was—I think you were quoting someone who had grown up thinking it wasn't a possibility for them. It was a gay man who was saying he wanted to have a family but it just wasn't on the radar and so it was something he had emotionally relinquished with grief, and then realized the possibilities and was able to think about it again. What a gift for someone like that. ABBIE GOLDBERG: It can be a real roller coaster. For many of the men I talked to, especially those who grew up at a certain time, they buried their desire. There was a grieving process—"This isn't going to happen for me. I came out and everyone kind of grieved for me. My parents were like, oh, I'm so sorry, we love you, but we're really sad you're not going to be a parent." It was only when they reached adulthood and realized this was an option, they kind of reimagined this possibility for themselves. BLAIR HODGES: You interviewed a lot of people for this book as part of a broad survey. What kind of reasons did you hear from people about why they wanted to have children? ABBIE GOLDBERG: Many of the reasons would be exactly what you would find from cis straight people. A lot of them wanting to shape and have an influence on a young person, wanting to have some sort of legacy and live on, even an adopted child that wasn't necessarily through bloodlines or anything, but impacting another human being and having your influence live on. Teaching moral character. Some people joke, but I don't think it was entirely joking, that they wanted somebody to take care of them when they got older. But much of it, especially because so many LGBT folks adopt, a lot of it does come from altruism. We have a certain amount of resources, we've reached a certain level of stability in our lives, we want to give back, we don't want it to just be about us, and we would like to give a home and give a family, and provide for somebody who otherwise wouldn't have a family. NAVIGATING DIFFERENT GOALS – 13:41 BLAIR HODGES: You also talk about how sometimes a gay couple has different levels of desire. One partner might be driven to have children, the other might be more ambivalent or even opposed to it. There's a great thought exercise you suggest in the book. I like this a lot. I think this could work for a lot of different people. You say, "Live in the ‘yes' for a week. Imagine you've decided to become a parent. And then live in the ‘no' for a week. Imagine you've decided not to. Write down all of your thoughts and feelings and questions. Write in a journal." You suggest using different colors when you're feeling more excited or when you're feeling more ambivalent or maybe even scared. Then after living in the yes and the no, to then evaluate that with your partner. How did you come up with that? That is such a great idea. ABBIE GOLDBERG: I drew from a bunch of different resources. I've been leading different workshops for many years, and I sometimes think my greatest ideas literally come on the spot. I'll be working with some parents or prospective parents and I'll say, "Okay, this isn't working. Try this,” you know, or, "Go home and try this." I think that particular exercise came from a couple different sources and then with my particular spin on it, which is usually to really be thinking about how there's really no single right answer. The idea that maybe you're not going to be a parent. Or maybe you're going to become a parent alone, maybe your partner is ultimately going to say, "I'm not doing this." It's looking at the reality head on and not necessarily making an assumption about what's going to happen. For some folks, they complete this exercise with their partner and they realize, "Wow, one of us is not so onboard and one of us is," and then there is a reckoning there where we either do this, and we do it not knowing really what will happen, or we're going to go our separate ways, or we're not going to do it, this relationship is the most important thing to me and I don't want to start this parenthood journey without a completely committed partner. FACING BARRIERS – 14:29 BLAIR HODGES: So many people face these crossroads. It's a great opportunity for regrets, but this is life and the fact your book is guiding people and helping coach people through these questions, it's extremely valuable. What kind of barriers do LGBTQ folks talk about that get in the way of becoming parents? What are some of the responses you got to that? ABBIE GOLDBERG: There are the internal barriers, which are the things like, "I can't be a good parent, I won't be a good parent because I'm gay," or all this internalized homophobia or transphobia—the things we're getting from society saying you shouldn't be a parent. BLAIR HODGES: Or “you'll harm kids.” ABBIE GOLDBERG: You will harm kids, or most of them say, "I don't think I will harm kids," they haven't fully internalized that, but they think, "My kid will be teased, my kid will feel like an outsider, my kid will be bullied." They may actually be hearing that from their own families. Families will say, "I'm sure you would be a great parent, but it's other people I'm worried about. I'm worried about other people treating you badly. Your neighbors not accepting you, your kids' peers not accepting them, other parents being cruel to you." It's certainly that, but it's all the external stuff. It's the fact that in many states, it's really hard. There are many agencies that are either explicitly or implicitly biased against LGBTQ foster carers or adopters. Many of the folks I talk to face barriers where, even if they can find an agency that's willing to work with them, maybe they don't get any calls for prospective children, or birth family members don't choose them to be the adoptive parents in open adoptions. The stigmas sort of have many, many different tentacles of potential influence. There are all those structural barriers. For many folks, too, they don't really consider it until they're maybe older, and so that curtails their options a little bit more. They're in their forties, for example, then they're thinking, well, my reproductive options are more limited. Now I'm turning to adoption. Now I maybe face bias based on age as well as sexual orientation, as well as gender for many gay men because many people think men can't be as good of parents as women. There's all those gender related barriers as well. Then, of course, for a lot of folks, not all LGBT people have access to financial resources and they don't necessarily have supportive families. If you have limited income and you don't have family support, those can be significant barriers as well. CHILDREN WITH LBGTQ PARENTS – 18:32 BLAIR HODGES: Let's spend a second, too, on—we've both mentioned this—the claim that children in LGBTQ families are at a disadvantage compared to children who are in other families. This is a big talking point amongst people who are opposed to marriage equality, for example—that this would be bad for the children. What does the data show about that? There's been research about this. What do we learn from that actual research? ABBIE GOLDBERG: We know from decades of research on kids with LGBT parents who were not married, and then we have some data from kids whose parents were married, that concerns about the wellbeing of children are unfounded, that children do fine. They show similar social emotional developmental outcomes. There are some places where they even arguably outperform kids who are raised in cisgender heterosexual parent families. It's not entirely clear why. For example, they may do better in certain areas because they are born or adopted to parents who have more resources. Because the folks who become parents are a little bit more rarefied, they're a little bit more select, because they have had to get through so many things to become parents, they may have more resources. That could help to explain that. It could also be the challenges their parents have had to face have built a certain resilience that those parents then pass onto their children. It could be they work harder in school, or have greater access to therapy because of their parents' alertness to the ways their families might be perceived. There are so many different reasons why, but they don't seem to show negative outcomes. They're not mad they have gay parents. The only challenges they experience systematically comes from outside. It comes from external judgment. Right now what we're seeing, as I'm doing a lot of work in Florida looking at how that legislation around the Parental Rights in Education Act is affecting LGBT families, those families, they are stressed. They are stressed by the fact that they now face pressure, for example, not to talk about their families in school or feel they can't be as open about their families. But that's coming from outside. The limited work we have looking at kids in married families, or what happens to kids when their LGBT parents get married, shows really positive outcomes. For kids, having one parent whose legal status might be tenuous or unclear, that was stressful too. Having a biological and a non-biological mom and only being connected to your biological mom—that's very stressful for families. Having some greater legal protections is incredibly beneficial. BLAIR HODGES: Speaking personally, what would it have meant for you to just see other families like yours when you were young? Because you talked about stressors and it's connected to visibility. Personally, what would it have meant to you to see more visibility growing up? ABBIE GOLDBERG: It would have been huge. At the time I don't think there was a single poster family of LGBT for our families, that happened much more in the nineties when Rosie O'Donnell and other queer parents became more visible. But there was nothing. For me, it would have been a light bulb to even see one and to know this was something that was real, and this was happening. It was something that wasn't being talked about. Secrecy and isolation breeds shame. For kids, for example, right now living in states where they're being told they shouldn't talk about their families, that could really turn inward to feel something is wrong with me, something is wrong with my family. The invalidation those families are facing is heartbreaking to me because it doesn't have to be this way. Everyone's families can be recognized as valid. We don't have to demonize certain kinds of families. BLAIR HODGES: There seems kind of a bad faith effort on the part of people who are already discriminating against LGBTQ families, to then try to say, "Oh, these outcomes are bad. Look, these kids are being hurt," when societal pressures and discrimination themselves are harming people. Any kind of negativity, or any kind of bad things that happen in the LGBTQ family can then be used as a referendum on the idea of marriage equality. Instead of saying, "Oh, here's some of the difficulties these particular families face. What can we do as a society? What can we do as therapists, whatever to help these families?" Instead, they're really talking about those things as a way to disqualify LGBTQ families, rather than address how to improve situations for LGBTQ folks. ABBIE GOLDBERG: One hundred percent, and I don't ever want to assume LGBT people are somehow immune from stress. We don't want to say that. Actually hard things do happen in these families. These families also, like straight cisgender families, experience challenges with mental illness and substance use and family struggles and dysfunction. All families struggle with those issues. Children with behavior problems, physical illness, and death—all of these things happen. It's not fair to take any family and look at something that's happening within it and blame that family structure for that thing, especially when we're denying them access to resources. If we see, for example, that queer parents in Florida suddenly report higher levels of depression, it would not really be fair or make sense to blame them for those high levels of depression and how it might be impacting their job performance or their parenting. It would make a lot more sense to think about the laws and the policies that are creating the circumstances where they are becoming so stressed that they're becoming depressed. FIGHTING INTERNALIZED STIGMA – 24:35 BLAIR HODGES: How do you recommend LGBTQ folks deal with any internalized stigma they've grown up with? That sense of shame, or the questions they have about whether they would be fit parents because of stereotypes they've heard? What are some ideas for people as they're dealing with their own internalized stigma in deciding to become a parent? ABBIE GOLDBERG: Community support, so having access to other queer people and parents who have reached some level of security in themselves and who are confident and competent around parenthood, can be really powerful and empowering, to see role models and to begin to take those lessons on oneself. Access to LGBT competent therapists can be helpful in processing those feelings of inadequacy, doubt, self-doubt, doing a lot of that personal work, and being able to eventually situate those beliefs where they belong, which is that they're coming from out here. They don't have much to do with us in here. Could be society, but it could also be your parents, or your religion, or your extended family. ADOPTION – 25:45 BLAIR HODGES: That's helpful. People can check out more in that chapter. Let's move to adoption here. Your second chapter talks all about adoption. You say LGBTQ folks are somewhere between four and ten times more likely to adopt than heterosexual couples. You've already touched on some reasons why that is, so let's talk instead about what kind of questions you suggest LGBTQ families think about when they're thinking about adoption as their option for expanding their families. What should they be thinking about together? ABBIE GOLDBERG: It's important to think about the basic question of how important it is to be biologically related to a child you are raising. For some folks, that is not an issue. They imagine parenthood not connected to having a child that looks like them or that will carry on certain characteristics. Some amount of flexibility, cognitive flexibility, emotional flexibility, is really important with adoption, because, hey, any of us who are parents know, you just don't know what you're going to get. Your kid could be so different from you. You're going to have so many things you never expected you'd be dealing with. But when a kid is adopted, that's kind of to the nth power. Just because you really love to read, and you love to do puzzles, you went to college, and you got your PhD, good for you. But your kid may have no interest in any of those things. They're not going to share, say, your whatever—your sense of humor, your attention span, who knows. To be open is really important. Then you start to winnow down into the other kinds of decisions around how important it is to have a child that is racially similar to me. How would that be for my extended family? What kinds of things am I open to in terms of prenatal drug exposure? Or an older child or sibling group? Where do my values and my sense of my own abilities and limitations, where do those fall? Having a sense of your own limitations is an important thing as a parent in general, but especially when you're thinking about adoption. TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION – 28:05 BLAIR HODGES: You mentioned race. There was a section that talked about some of the anxieties that a particular couple talked about with you. Basically, the idea that this person wasn't sure if they were equipped to raise a Black child, for example, in the United States. It wasn't from a sense of racism in the sense of, "Oh, I don't like Black children," or whatever. But rather, "Am I equipped to raise a child. I'm white. I don't have that background. It would be in a white circumstance." One of our episodes is on transracial adoption, so this comes up. Talk a little bit about how LGBTQ folks might wrestle with that idea of race. There's this weird like, "Oh, I don't want to seem racist if I don't want to adopt children who aren't white or who aren't my same race." But at the same time there are real reasons why that can be a concern. Transracial adoption can be really difficult. ABBIE GOLDBERG: It's not fair to adopt a child of a different race than you are if you are not up for it and comfortable with it, period. That being said, most kids are not just in these little boxes. First of all, there's a lot of multiracial kids. We don't want to encourage a practice where people say, "Well, I will be open to adopting transracially if they're mostly white." That leads us down some not great paths. In terms of race, you need to be thinking beyond yourself. You need to be thinking about your community, your school, and your family. There are plenty of families that say, "I'm open to a white person adopting a child of color," but then they bring this child into their world and they live in a white community. Their children would be attending a predominantly white school, their extended family is white. It's important that parents do that work, to think, “Is this even really fair?” before they go down that road, because a child who, say, is Black and is living in a white town, white school—that's not great for that child. It's not fair as a parent to immerse that child in that world. You may need to decide, I'm going to move so I can have access to these resources. I talked to many parents who did make choices. I have a whole area of research about how parents choose schools for their kids. Many parents will say, "There's this school, which is mostly white, and it's a really good school. Then there's this school, which maybe has less of a great academic reputation, but my kids will be surrounded by people who look like them." That's more important. UNIQUE STRENGTHS – 30:37 BLAIR HODGES: It's a helpful chapter. It talks all about different adoption options, public and private, international adoption, a lot of different things. People that are considering adoption, this is a great primer for that. What strengths would you say LGBTQ folks bring to the table when it comes to adoption? Are there any unique strengths you found as you were doing your research? ABBIE GOLDBERG: Many folks will tell you something they feel, which I do think is a strength, which is they have a history of being discriminated against, or being judged, or people making assumptions about them based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. That, in turn, makes them more open to adopting a child of a different race or with a variety of different potential differences. They feel like as somebody who's faced stigma in the world, or as somebody who has faced challenges, I could feel I can be a more sensitive parent because of that. It makes me more open both to adopting children, but it also makes me more open to dealing with whatever issues the child comes along with. The challenges they feel they faced in their life when they have actually made them better parents. DONOR INSEMINATION – 31:51 BLAIR HODGES: Your book also talks about donor insemination and surrogacy. These are more ways LGBTQ families are formed. What kind of advice do you offer for people that are thinking about donor insemination when they're thinking about having children? ABBIE GOLDBERG: We're moving towards a place where, both in the adoption world and reproductive technologies, we understand kids will want information about their origins regardless of how their families are formed. There's a movement towards if you're going to pursue donor insemination, for example, people want to access donors where there's an option of them becoming known if they're not known already. For example, the child can contact them or know more about them at the age of eighteen. It used to be that we had mostly fully anonymous donors, and now we're realizing children eventually want to access that information. Likewise, in the adoption world we're really moving towards open adoptions, where children have access to their birth families, or at least birth family information. BLAIR HODGES: This is very child centered. Parents might feel protective or want to be like, "I just want separation from that." But then they're finding as kids grow they don't want that separation. There's a drive to know more. ABBIE GOLDBERG: Many parents would say, “Before I had a kid, before I adopted a kid or early on, it was very important to me to have those boundaries. We are the parents.” As they're parenting real human beings who have real questions, that becomes less important than helping that child access information. They realize all those concerns around boundaries, and who's really the parent—that's actually less important. BLAIR HODGES: Your chapter has a lot of great questions, again, for people that couples can talk about together, like, will we be genetically tied in some way? Who will? Why are we making that decision? How are we going to feel about that? Also, you talk about trans and nonbinary folks, and how providers who are helping people transition, especially younger folks who are transitioning, should be well informed about options for reproductive technologies to help them. If someone who's assigned female at birth is transitioning to male there are ways to preserve eggs, for example. They're not making a decision to use those eggs. They're just keeping those options open. Talk a little bit about that for trans and nonbinary folks. ABBIE GOLDBERG: First of all, trans and nonbinary folks may not know when they're teenagers, for example, or young adult if they even want to be parents. It is, as you said, a matter of keeping those options open and finding providers who will help them to make the kinds of decisions they may not know they might want later down the road. Helping to fully inform them of their options, what things are reversible and what things are not reversible. This isn't a barrier to getting the care they want, absolutely they should have access to the hormones, for example, that they want, but enable them to make those decisions that will help them have those options. For reproductive providers who are working with trans and nonbinary folks when they're actively trying to get pregnant, for example, we also need providers to be knowledgeable about that as well. What are the options? When does somebody need to go off of hormones? How can we support them in getting pregnant? What kinds of things can we do to make the birth experience more pleasant? To make visits more pleasant? How can we refer to body parts, for example, in a way that feels affirming and respectful and not alienating and offensive? TRADEOFFS – 35:37 BLAIR HODGES: Chapter five is so good on this. You talk about how important it is for LGBTQ families to consider agencies they're working with to be tuned into where discrimination exists, and also recognizing they might have to make tradeoffs. They might have a provider they'll be working with who is throwing microaggressions around or making them feel uncomfortable, and there are tradeoffs that LGBTQ families end up having to make in navigating the medical system and the adoption system and fertility system as well. Spend a little bit of time on what kind of problems were waiting in the wings once marriage equality became the law of the land, for example. Now couples could be legally married and now they want access to these different services. What kind of issues are people still confronting, even though we're years past the legalization of marriage equality? ABBIE GOLDBERG: I could go in so many different directions. In terms of tradeoffs, people often make tradeoffs when they're building their families, when they're thinking about agencies or where to give birth, where to put their children in daycare or school, or where they live. It's all a matter of balancing. Say I have a black child who also has two dads and we live in a rural area. What am I going to do to create the best environment for my child? I probably won't send them to a top academic school that is very racially diverse and has lots of two mom families. What's most important for my child? What's going to help them to develop into a confident person? There's constantly that tradeoff. Likewise, if you're pursuing a birth—you're trying to figure out where to give birth as a trans person. You're balancing finances and geography and comfort, maybe a medical condition, maybe you're an older parent giving birth so you're also thinking about that. It's a constant place of tradeoffs. Right now we're at a place where there's the explicit barriers people face and then the more subtle or implicit barriers. You may go to a hospital, for example, or a school that says, "Oh, we're LGBTQ friendly", or "We have other two-mom families here." But what that looks like in practice can really vary. Likewise, you might be living in a red state that seems to have very little access to LGBT friendly providers. But you find a place and the people are quite wonderful and lovely. You just don't know. There's a lot of variability. Sometimes it's about finding the right people or the right person within a given agency who will be an advocate who maybe has a personal connection, maybe has an LGBT child themselves, who will be a warrior for you even in those places in the country where it can be hard to access formal supports. BLAIR HODGES: I like how you talked about the networking that LGBTQ families engage in as well. The internet makes it even easier than ever to network with people, to get advice, suggestions, to read reviews about different places and experiences people have. In some ways, despite ongoing discrimination, we're also at a time when people can feel more empowered because we can talk to each other and connect with each other and get ideas from each other too. Barriers, but also opportunities to navigate those because we can communicate more easily. ABBIE GOLDBERG: One of the suggestions I always tell—I do a lot of workshops with schools who are trying to become more LGBT affirming—I say just offer names and contact information to LGBT prospective parents so they can contact other folks who have had students at your school because that's the in-person version of the Yelp review. They can talk to another human being and ask questions and they can network. It also shows you're confident enough to be able to share that information, which is a good thing. SURROGACY AND GENDER ASYMMETRY – 39:15 BLAIR HODGES: It's your own personal Yelp. That's great. Let's talk about surrogacy for a second. You say this is an option that's mostly chosen by gay, bi, or queer men in particular. What are some of the things people consider when it comes to surrogacy, so having someone can carry the child for a couple? ABBIE GOLDBERG: For folks who are pursuing surrogacy, I always have to start by saying it's about $150,000 or $200,000. It's really an option for a very small segment of the population, unless you do overseas surrogacy which has its own real ethical issues, which is less expensive but you're going to another country and paying a woman to carry your child. BLAIR HODGES: There may be safety issues. Your book goes into these. Inequality. ABBIE GOLDBERG: Travel. There's a lot that goes on there, and a lot of uncertainty in terms of that process. In terms of things to consider for folks who do pursue surrogacy, who go down that route, there's a lot of uncertainty there too. It may seem like the most obviously certain outcome versus adoption, where everything seems very unclear, but surrogates do not always get pregnant right away. They may not conceive. They may have a miscarriage. They're a human being. Just as many unexpected issues can come up there. Some folks really bond with their surrogates and other folks there may not be that same relationship. It is a relationship like all others. There's also so many people and institutions involved in surrogacy, there's so much legal interaction, that it's a very complicated process. It's not even legal in some states. BLAIR HODGES: There are legal issues. People that want to pursue it, again, your book does a fantastic job in a short chapter laying out a lot of questions. Not just about practical things but about emotional things. "Genetic asymmetry" is a term you bring up that I hadn't really thought of. We've touched on this a little bit, but the idea that if one partner is genetically related to a child and the other one isn't, that could cause complicated feelings people might not have anticipated before they actually have a child. ABBIE GOLDBERG: In many cases, if it's either surrogacy or conceiving, through donor insemination, there is usually one partner who is biologically related and one partner who is not. That's significant to the outside world in that we place a lot of emphasis on biology and to primacy of biological bonds, which can lead that nonbiological parent to either be perceived or to feel like less of a parent. I'm of the belief we shouldn't pretend those things don't exist, there are many ways to bond with a child and have a great relationship with a child. But we shouldn't say it doesn't matter because that's disingenuous. I do know of surrogacy families where they do not tell their child who the parent is that is biologically related to them. Which dad, for example, is biologically related. I have questions about that. To say it's not important kind of almost reaffirms how important it is. If we're not going to tell you it's clearly so important. As somebody who doesn't really like family secrets, I think it's more important to say he's the biological parent and we're a family, and here's all the reasons why we're both equally your dads. TRANSITIONING TO PARENTHOOD – 43:15 BLAIR HODGES: So many things for people to consider. Again, a lot of the questions in the book will help people think through things they might not anticipate if they haven't talked to people about this or spent a lot of time thinking about it. That's Abbie Goldberg, clinical psychologist and professor. We're talking about the book, LGBTQ Family Building: A Guide for Prospective Parents. All right, there's a chapter on the transition to parenthood. You talk about the ways people can become parents, and then you talk about how becoming a parent is a huge transition for anybody. The book is helpful because it talks about the general life changes people can expect, but also what LGBTQ people in particular might face. You pay special attention to mental health, for example, and there's a stat here that really surprised me in this chapter. You say there are some studies that suggest that most parents, seventy-two percent of parents, said their life satisfaction increased during the first year of parenting. That's a really challenging year and that's a really high number. I'm interested in what you make of this life satisfaction increase. ABBIE GOLDBERG: It points out the importance of looking at different dimensions of change, because most people looked at stress and they look at mental health. You do see stress increase, and you do see mental health decrease. What we have to always think of is joy and life satisfaction are other components of life. You can have a really stressful job, for example, but have a lot of joy associated with your job, a lot of satisfaction associated with your job. To some people that's valuable. It's more valuable than having an easy job where there's very little stress, but very little satisfaction. It makes sense because most people will say “parenthood transformed me, it transformed my life, it's changed who I am, and I'm a lot sleepier, and our relationship is a little bit more tense, we don't have as much time together.” Really understanding parenthood causes changes in multiple domains. The ideal, of course, is that mental health will eventually recover, and often it does. We have to also know that some of those negative changes, they're really temporary. They're not always temporary, but they're often temporary. BLAIR HODGES: You lay out some of the stressors that happen. There's the obvious stuff that happens to every kind of parent—lack of sleep, redistribution of household work, which can be distressing. Whether LGBT couples take on traditionally feminine or traditionally masculine, provider/nurturer, or whether couples find ways to create their own family dynamics. What are some tips, some practices, some advice you would give to people to navigate those early parenting years? I know it's hard to rank that kind of stuff, but does something immediately come to mind that's like, this is a crucial thing for couples to do? ABBIE GOLDBERG: I think two things. One is that relationship is important. Presumably, if you are a member of a couple you want to stay together. So many couples I've interviewed have said, "We put our relationship on the back burner." You can only do that for so long. In an ideal world you will have access to some time alone where you can honestly just laugh or enjoy each other's company without the constant challenge of caring for another being's needs. Whether that means taking time at the end of the day to talk and sit outside and catch up, or going out, whatever. But making sure that relationship remains a priority. I think some flexibility and awareness that what things are now won't always be this way and being flexible to change things up. Especially around the division of chores, for example. Reevaluating and reevaluating how that is going, I've done so much work on the division of tasks, and how couples divide up chores. One thing that seems important is a lot of times nobody really likes most tasks, so it's really about who hates it the least. That's how I think about it. Who hates cleaning the litter box the least? Who hates unloading the dishwasher the least? Checking in about whether that's continuing to be a satisfactory and fair division of labor. When things feel unfair and when people feel unappreciated, that's when the problems start. If I feel like I'm doing seventy percent and I don't even feel like my partner appreciates me, I'm much madder than if I'm doing seventy percent and I feel like we're constantly acknowledging that I'm doing seventy percent because I'm maybe working outside less, for example, and how things need to change but this is the way it is right now. BLAIR HODGES: You say that, overall, studies show that same-sex/gender couples tend to share paid and unpaid labor more equally on average than heterosexual couples. Perhaps because they already have higher expectations for equality, or perhaps because they don't easily slot into your 1950s Leave it to Beaver view of how Mom and Dad should be. But also, you say there are some couples who do fall into these more traditional patterns where, let's say there's a gay couple who one partner has a higher paying job, they're gone more often. And then the other partner, he's at home doing more of the "domestic stuff," the unpaid stuff. Those circumstances, that doesn't mean one of them is necessarily more or less happy, you say differences in contributions don't necessarily lead to tension or conflict, it really depends on the particular relationship and how the couples actually feel about the stuff. Some couples might feel okay with a division like that. That works for them. It's not like everyone needs to fit a particular vision of marital equality. It's more about making sure people are informed and feeling they're treated fairly. That is what people should pay attention to. ABBIE GOLDBERG: It's really about the match between values and expectations than what the actual division of labor is. ESTABLISHING A FAMILY STORY – 49:19 BLAIR HODGES: The last chapter talks about the early years. Let's talk about this briefly here. You encourage people to establish their family story really early with their children, to have a story of how their family came to be, what it is, especially because they're still living in a heteronormative society where a lot of people around them, a lot of peer children, might be casting judgment or even making comments like kids do. Like, “why don't you have a mommy” or “why do you have two dads?” You say communication with young kids is important. Some people might think, "Oh, I just want them to stay innocent and not even think about stuff until they get older," rather than establishing a family story early. Why do you think that might not be the best approach? ABBIE GOLDBERG: You can establish a family story early and do it in a developmentally appropriate and age progressed way. If you don't tell them anything or you avoid those questions, you're not being truthful, and so giving them a simpler story they can internalize and then maybe share with others, even if it doesn't have all the details, it may not be perfectly truthful for what they share with others— BLAIR HODGES: Every parent does this. [laughter] ABBIE GOLDBERG: Right, I was going to say. There's a lot of things parents are explaining to their kids, they're not going to give them the whole story because they're going to tell their friends or whomever, but they're going to give them enough information that they need. "I have two moms. We got help from somebody else to make our family." Okay. That's what you got. BLAIR HODGES: You also give great advice on gender expansive parenting practices, like using “they” pronouns for people that people don't know. So you can kind of normalize they pronouns so things aren't so binary essentialized. Also, actively challenging gender stereotypes. So if someone says, "Oh, boys can't have long hair," just say, "I actually think they can," or talk to your kids about those. Reading books that show diversity is really important and modeling some nonconformity and being conscious about that with kids. This chapter has a lot of practical advice on dealing with kids in their early years. That's where the book cuts off. It takes people through the process of deciding to become parents, the methods they can use to become parents, and then those early parenting years. It seems to me your overall hope in the book is that people will have choices, understand what the choices are, and be empowered to make those choices. That seems to be the driving purpose of your book. ABBIE GOLDBERG: Absolutely. For folks who can pick it up, they can pick it up at an earlier stage in their life, maybe when they're not even thinking about parenthood but are interested to know what the different pathways might look like in the future. Or folks who are at a crossroads in trying to figure out what they're going to be doing, as well as people who are already parents and maybe are thinking through their next transition of parenthood, or maybe they would like some guidance around supporting other people in their life around these decisions. REGRETS, CHALLENGES, & SURPRISES! – 52:28 BLAIR HODGES: I can honestly say I found the book to be helpful. Again, my family—me, my partner, my two kids—there are questions we probably should have asked before we had our second kid or before we had our first child, but it's not too late to even address that, though. To think through those things together. Even though we've passed some of the chapters up, it still for me has been helpful to go back and look at some of these questions and to see how LGBT families are navigating them and what the differences are and the unique strength. I think this is a book with broad applicability. We need more books like this. So many of the parenting books are very heteronormative, which I think limits their strength. Now we're going to talk regrets, challenges, and surprises. You can speak to one, two, or all three of these. Is there something you would change about the book now that it's published? Or something that was challenging in the process of reading, or something that surprised you that sticks in your mind as “wow, I didn't expect that” as you were researching the book. ABBIE GOLDBERG: I'll speak to two. In terms of change, it's not that I would change it. It's just so much has happened since I wrote the book. We're in such a different state with respect to this country I probably would give more time to if you're living in a particularly challenging geographic area or state with respect to figuring out how you're going to become a parent, what are the things to think through in terms of relocation, or working with providers across state lines and the kinds of challenges that might come up there. Some of the challenges I talk about are intensified for certain folks. In terms of a surprise, it's hard to overemphasize how much money matters. How much your access to financial resources impacts everything from where you live, what options are available to you even as you start the family building journey, can you pursue private adoption, can you pursue infertility treatments, or are you working with the child welfare system? What kinds of access to therapies can you have if your child is having challenges? Can you think about private school if you're living in a state where you don't really want to send your child to public school because of what they might be exposed to in terms of ideas about their family? Just in terms of the access to resources, it shapes so much of what people have available to them. BLAIR HODGES: Your work continues, Abbie. What are you up to now that the book's done? You said you do workshops, you do a lot of things. What else is what else have you got going on? ABBIE GOLDBERG: One of the things I'm doing is I'm doing a lot of work looking at how the Parental Rights and Education Act, the "Don't Say Gay Act" has affected families in Florida, as I mentioned. Doing some research there. I'm also going to be writing a human sexuality textbook which really centers LGBT folks as opposed to them being off in the periphery. There are many human sexuality texts that don't give enough attention and foregrounding to how those experiences play out. I'm continuing to do different talks and workshops for folks, different audiences, a lot of lawyers, and the legal realm is very interesting to me, serving as an expert witness in trials where custody, for example, on same-sex couples is an issue. BLAIR HODGES: That's Abbie Goldberg, clinical psychologist and professor, author of the book LGBTQ Family Building: A Guide for Prospective Parents. She's also been featured in places like The New York Times, The Atlantic, USA Today, and more. She's director of Women's and Gender Studies at Clark University. Abbie, thanks so much for spending this time with us to talk about this great book. ABBIE GOLDBERG: Thank you so much for having me. BLAIR HODGES: Thanks for listening. Thanks to Camille Messick for being a wonderful transcript editor. You can check out transcripts of every episode on the website familyproclamations.org. I'm also grateful to longtime supporter David Ostler, who sponsored the first group of transcripts. I'm always looking for transcript sponsors so if you've got a little extra change rolling around in your purse, let me know. The email address is blair@firesidepod.org. You can also send me feedback about any episode to the same email address. There's much more to come on Family Proclamations. If you're enjoying the show, tell a friend. Get some podcast chatter going at your next family reunion. You can also rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. Check out this review from mountainbluebird: "Blair always finds the most fascinating variety of guests and does a stellar job guiding a conversation. I learn a lot every time I listen." Well thanks for that review. I learn a lot every time I do an interview. Thanks to Mates of State for providing our theme song. Family Proclamations is part of the Dialogue Podcast Network. I'm Blair Hodges, and we'll see you next time. [End] Note: Transcripts are edited for readability.
Colton sits down with CEO of Family Equality, Jaymes Black, to educate listeners on the state of LGBTQ families in our wold today. Daddyhood is a proud supporter of Family Equality. Family Equality is creating a world where everyone can experience the love, safety, and belonging of family. As the leading national organization for current and future LGBTQ+ families, Family Equality works to ensure that everyone has the freedom to find, form, and sustain their families by advancing LGBTQ+ equality through advocacy, support, storytelling, and education. To learn more about the organization, go to www.familyequality.org. For more exclusive content, join the Daddyhood Patreon! This episode was Produced by Avery Siegel, Shot by Eleanor Matthews, and Edited by Brit Scott. Original theme song by Jon The Dad.
The recent elevation of Rep. Mike Johnson to be Speaker of the House has brought up questions about the Louisiana Republican's record and positions in several areas, particularly his opposition to equal rights for the LGBTQ+ community. Filmmakers Melinda Maerker and David Miller have a new documentary for Hulu, “We Live Here: The Midwest,” which gives voice to the LGBTQ+ community in places that are not hospitable to them, and they join the podcast to discuss their project and its message. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The recent elevation of Rep. Mike Johnson to be Speaker of the House has brought up questions about the Louisiana Republican's record and positions in several areas, particularly his opposition to equal rights for the LGBTQ+ community. Filmmakers Melinda Maerker and David Miller have a new documentary for Hulu, “We Live Here: The Midwest,” which gives voice to the LGBTQ+ community in places that are not hospitable to them, and they join the podcast to discuss their project and its message. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The courts and Evers administration have stepped in, but bipartisan efforts to make state law neutral to reflect status of same-sex couples have stalled. By Matthew DeFour / Wisconsin Watch. Originally published on June 16, 2023.
Is There A Difference Financially For Straight & LGBTQ+ Families? Do LGBTQ+ families encounter difficulties in their personal finance journey or family planning journey compared to a regular, straight family? If so how is it different and why is it so different when we're both humans trying to live our lives? Will Singapore ever be a comfortable home for LGBTQ+ families?Discover more from the team at The Financial Coconut (including all our other shows) @ https://linktr.ee/thefinancialcoconutThe Financial Coconut Podcast is a personal finance platform based in Singapore. Our goal is to educate and provide easy-to-understand information about personal finance topics such as budgeting, investing, retirement planning etc. We believe that personal finance is different for every individual and we aim to provide different perspectives to trigger our audience into paving their own unique path towards their financial goal. We hope that you are able to live the life you love, while managing your finances well.What are some other things that are different? Let us know in the comments! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Today, we are excited to welcome Carey Cook to the Fertility Forward podcast. Carey is a holistic fertility coach for LGBTQ+ families who are spiraling into the anxious abyss of expanding their families. With an MA in Counseling Psychology, Carey helps people gain tools to navigate tough decisions, manage big feelings, and avoid common pitfalls. Having gone through her own fertility journey, she became more aware of the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ families when growing their families, ultimately inspiring her individual-based coaching program. In our conversation with Carey, we hear about her personal fertility journey and how she and her wife navigated both the clinic and private embryo donation route, the difference between embryo adoption and donation, and her thoughts on the rollercoaster (of emotions, grief, and trauma) that the fertility journey is. Tune in now, to hear about her work as a somatic therapist, and so much more.
Us with Dr. Crystallee Crain - Critical Conversations On The Challenges Of Our Time
COLAGE on US with Dr Crystallee Crain Founded in 1990 under the name “Just For Us,” COLAGE (originally Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) began with a group of six young people with lesbian and gay parents. The experience at their first meeting was revolutionary, and they wanted to share similar experiences with other COLAGErs. In 1996, the organization explicitly added work with children of bisexual and transgender parents to its mission, and queerspawn, a term of self-identification lovingly adopted by some members of our community, became widely used. During the late 1990s and early 2000s, COLAGE leadership became increasingly aware of the needs of a new generation of COLAGErs. These were children of the “gayby boom,” whose parents had chosen to form families after coming out – often through adoption or reproductive technology – creating new forms of families with intention. As so many of these youth were people of color, COLAGE adopted a new strategic plan that specifically included an anti-racist, social justice platform. Amidst intensifying debates on marriage equality, LGBTQ+ parents – and their children – were increasingly thrust into the public eye, dramatically increasing awareness of LGBTQ+ families. Throughout the 2000s and 2010s, COLAGE expanded programming to meet the needs of these increasingly visible families as COLAGErs supported marriage equality fights state-by-state and in the Supreme Court. Today, COLAGE stands as the only national organization dedicated to the empowerment of youth in LGBTQ+ families, and celebrates thirty years of this work. Today's Guest Angel Martin (they/them) is the National Program Director at COLAGE. They are a second generation queerspawn with a lesbian mom. Angel started COLAGE programming at the age of 7 and has been an active member of the COLAGE community ever since. When they were in high school, they participated in the Youth Leadership Track as a Facilitator in Training during Family Week. They became a facilitator and, eventually, a coordinator for the Waffles age group. In 2019, Angel was a Program Intern for Family Week. Angel played an instrumental role in establishing COLAGE's Transformative Justice Committee in 2020. Angel is excited to work towards a world where all queerspawn have community. Previously, Angel lived in Los Angeles where they did social work at a homeless services agency. They now live in Manhattan with their partner and is a singer-songwriter in their free time. Click here to learn how to Join COLAGE: https://colage.org/join-us/ COLAGE Upcoming Events: https://colage.org/?post_type=tribe_events Sound: ES Do You Believe - Rambutan ES Life's Good - Hank Lotion ES Koffee in the Forest - HATAMITSUNAMI
This Week: Three years ago the educational world came to a virtual standstill as COVID 19 would close school house doors, and reshape the experience of a generation. And, a story from NBC News profiling families of LGBTQ students who are choosing to opt out of attending college in states with new repressive, anti LGBTQ laws on the books. What will this mean for the landscape of college applications and attendance? What does this signify in the larger movement for educational justice? Manuel and Jeff discuss. Get your All of the Above swag, including your own “Teach the Truth” shirt! In this moment of relentless attacks on teaching truth in the classroom, we got you covered. https://all-of-the-above-store.creator-spring.com Passing Period is an AOTA podcast extra that gives us a chance to check-in, reflect, and discuss powerful stories in between our full episodes. Watch, listen and subscribe to make sure you don't miss our latest content! Website: https://AOTAshow.com Stream all of our content at: linktr.ee/AOTA Watch at: YouTube.com/AlloftheAbove Listen at: apple.co/38QV7Bd and anchor.fm/AOTA Follow us at: Facebook.com/AOTAshow and Twitter.com/AOTAshow --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/aota/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/aota/support
Hospice social worker and grief counselor Jill Johnson-Young is sharing wisdom and her perspective on end of life care for the LGBTQ+ community. Just like every other patient and caregiver, members of the LGBTQ+ community and their caregivers want to feel safe and be treated with respect during their end of life experience. Although it's difficult to do, end of life workers need to be aware of their own biases. Members of the LGBTQ+ community might be hesitant to choose hospice care, withhold necessary information from their end of life team, or even go back in the closet during hospice care. While each of us have opinions, hospice interdisciplinary team members should never voice those opinions about patients' and caregivers' lives. Quality of care suffers when healthcare professionals show prejudice and judgmental attitudes. The care of people in the LGBTQ+ community should be no different than the care that's provided to any other patients. Everyone deserves respect, compassion, tolerance, and empathy. You can connect with Jill Johnson-Young at jilljohnsonyoung.com. Read Jill's blog here. Buy your copy of The Rebellious Widow and Your Own Path Through Grief here. Want to encourage a caregiver or say thank you to a friend? Order a customized care package from BeyondWordsCo.com. Find care packages and workplace gift programs for corporate gifting, employees, co-workers and clients here. Read more about how Catherine Hinz founded BeyondWords here. Connect with podcast host Helen Bauer at helen@theheartofhospice.com. Find more information about hospice philosophy, end of life care, and self care for both personal and professional caregivers here. Book podcast host Helen Bauer to speak for your podcast, event or conference by sending an email to helen@theheartofhospice.com. Find more podcast episodes from The Heart of Hospice at The Heart of Hospice Podcast (theheartofhospice.com)
Our guest Jose Rolon is best known for his NYCGayDad Tiktoks starring him and his three kids. While several of those clips have gone viral and gotten him appearances on the TODAY Show, NowThis News, Ellen's Game of Games, Tamron Hall Show, Univision Se Habla USA, and The Drew Barrymore Show. He is the first gay dad to be on the cover of Parents Latina Magazine. He also has a career influencing people's loves lives. He is one of the top rising wedding planners in NYC. He is frequently sought for his expertise on The New York Times, Brides, NACE, and more, as well as his work featured with Martha Stewart, Essence Magazine, Sophisticated Weddings Magazine, New York Weddings, the Best of The Knot, and was named one Biz Bash's Most Influential Event Professionals. He is the co-host of Crackle's new series Wedding Talk, host of The Know's Parenting Wins. With co-host Brody Levesque
Our guest Jose Rolon is best known for his NYCGayDad Tiktoks starring him and his three kids. While several of those clips have gone viral and gotten him appearances on the TODAY Show, NowThis News, Ellen's Game of Games, Tamron Hall Show, Univision Se Habla USA, and The Drew Barrymore Show. He is the first gay dad to be on the cover of Parents Latina Magazine. He also has a career influencing people's loves lives. He is one of the top rising wedding planners in NYC. He is frequently sought for his expertise on The New York Times, Brides, NACE, and more, as well as his work featured with Martha Stewart, Essence Magazine, Sophisticated Weddings Magazine, New York Weddings, the Best of The Knot, and was named one Biz Bash's Most Influential Event Professionals. He is the co-host of Crackle's new series Wedding Talk, host of The Know's Parenting Wins. With co-host Brody Levesque
Raising kids takes a village. When Krystian Gabrielle became a mom for the first time she wanted to find her community - one that she could connect and laugh with. She found it on social media when she switched her Instagram account from private to public. Since that moment she has connected with thousands of women virtually, and even hosting an in-person meet up. She joins Maria to talk all about the humor behind raising two small kids with her wife in Florida, finding a the right parenting path for your family, and more. ------Check out all of the MOM2MOM episodes: nbcboston.com/mom-2-momFollow along on social: @thehubtoday & @mariasansoneFollow along on with Krystian Gabrielle: @krystian_gabrielleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Get an introduction on the key parentage cases and standards protecting children born to LGBTQ parents in Massachusetts in this podcast, excerpted from MCLE's 3/28/2022 live webcast, Establishing Parentage for LGBTQ Parents, with speaker: Patience Crozier of GLBTQ Legal Advocates and Defenders in Boston. The full program is available as an on demand webcast or an MP3 here. Get 24/7 instant access to hundreds of related eLectures like this one—and more—with a subscription to the MCLE OnlinePass. Learn more at www.mcle.org/onlinepass.
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Tony Hynes is an interracial adoptee whose adoption case reached the US Supreme Court in the 1990s. While his case was knocked down to a lower court, Tony Hynes' adoption ended up in a rare arrangement – joint custody between his Black birth grandmother an...
We're taking a closer look at ~queering~ family whether they're found, formed, or chosen! Jess Venable-Novack from Family Equality visits Lindz to chat alllllll about queer families. Make sure to share this episode with a friend and review the podcast! Learn more about Family Equality: https://www.familyequality.org/ Participate in the LGBTQ Families in Schools Study: https://www.glsen.org/familystudy Find Us Online - Queer Kid Stuff Website: https://www.queerkidstuff.com - Weekly Newsletter Signup: https://bit.ly/qksnewslettersignup - Patreon: patreon.com/queerkidstuff - Instagram: instagram.com/queerkidstuff - Twitter: twitter.com/queerkidstuff - Email: business@queerkidstuff.com Production - Host & Creator: Lindz Amer - Producer: Multitude - Editor: Mischa Stanton - Theme Music: Amanda D'Archangelis - Artwork: Abe Tensia About The Show Welcome to Rainbow Parenting, a queer- and gender-affirming parenting podcast. Every week, queer educator Lindz Amer starts conversations about the intimidating first steps on how to affirm queer, trans, and nonbinary kids. They talk to experts who explain how to approach age-relevant early childhood sex ed, queer kid lit, gender reveal parties, and much more. And this isn't just for parents; educators, caregivers, librarians, and anyone who knows, loves, and works with kids can start the process of raising a whole generation! Season One begins May 30th, with new episodes dropping every Monday. Produced in partnership with Multitude.
Estate Planning for LGBTQ+ Families, unmarried families, and unconventional families.
LGBTQ activists Kris Williams and Rebekah Wilson got married in 2019. In August of that year, Kris and Rebekah welcomed a baby boy into their family, and both women were recorded as mother and mother on the birth certificate. After two years, however, the couple divorced, and Rebekah petitioned the court to remove Kris from their son's birth certificate. Oklahoma County Judge Lynne McGuire ruled in favor of removing Kris's name from the birth certificate stating that Kris should have adopted her own son. Last week, Judge McGuire reversed her decision and recognized Kris Williams as a legal parent. We speak with Toby Jenkins, CEO and executive director of Oklahomans for Equality about this ruling and what it means for LGBTQ parents and all non-gestational parents in Oklahoma.
LGBTQ activists Kris Williams and Rebekah Wilson got married in 2019. In August of that year, Kris and Rebekah welcomed a baby boy into their family, and both women were recorded as mother and mother on the birth certificate. After two years, however, the couple divorced, and Rebekah petitioned the court to remove Kris from their son's birth certificate. Oklahoma County Judge Lynne McGuire ruled in favor of removing Kris's name from the birth certificate stating that Kris should have adopted her own son. Last week, Judge McGuire reversed her decision and recognized Kris Williams as a legal parent. We speak with Toby Jenkins, CEO and executive director of Oklahomans for Equality about this ruling and what it means for LGBTQ parents and all non-gestational parents in Oklahoma.
How can we support and love our LGBTQ+ family members, neighbors, church goers, students etc? In this episode I chat with Allison Dayton the founder of the organization Lift&Love and the mother of a gay son and a sister of a gay brother about how to love others better. When we get to know people's hearts, it changes where we focus our energy. When we see the actual people and don't get caught up in the extremism and political banter it changes our energy and we can focus on that person we know and love. Be careful who you hate, it could be someone that you love. Careful what you say about political issues, about pride month, about the LGBTQ+ "agenda" because it could be greatly affecting someone you love who hasn't come out yet. I promise you they will remember and it may damage them and your relationship...and if they don't remember it, their mama will! We don't give up anything in our values to just love people. We may have different beliefs and recognize they live differently than we do but we can really want good, loving and awesome things to happen in their life. We can say things like, "This is a tricky, complicated thing, how can I support you?" Ask how their child is doing in school, how is their mental health? We can speak up and not be silent, we can let people know they are seen and valued. When Allison's son came out one of her brothers in law said, "I don't know what supportive means, but I'm going to learn!" Little acts of kindness make a huge difference for people. Flying a rainbow flag or wearing a pin is not pushing an agenda, but is acknowledging there are people out there who need to see support, who live differently than we do and we want them to know they are loved and that we are a safe space. It's no different than tying a yellow ribbon around a tree or flying your college football team flag on a Saturday afternoon. We all will be touched by someone we love being in the LGBTQ+ community. It is one of the greatest opportunities of a lifetime to grow in unconditional love for others.
Goldstein, Tara and Friesen, Doug (Producers). (2020, April 1).Tara talks to Master of Teaching students Kris Orr and Braden Kenny, who is also a member of the LGBTQ Families research team, who have completed research projects on the topic of navigating sexuality and gender identities as a student teacher.
The Wade's posted a beautiful family Easter pic & Zaya has a boo. The Air Force is allowing their LGBTQ families to relocate out of transphobic states causing them harm. 2022 is the 35th anniversary of the AIDS Memorial Quilt and San Francisco is honoring this moment with the largest quilt display in over a decade. 00:00 - Welcome & Intro 00:58 - E3 Radio Ad, Tune-in at https://e3radio.fm #QueerRadioDoneRight 01:21 - Intro Music by Aina Bre'Yon 02:01 - The Wade's posted a beautiful family Easter pic & Zaya has a boo 03:39 - The Air Force is allowing their LGBTQ families to relocate out of transphobic states causing them harm 05:17 - 2022 is the 35th anniversary of the AIDS Memorial Quilt and San Francisco is honoring this moment with the largest quilt display in over a decade 06:23 - Anna's Got A Word Things for you to check out Gabrielle Union Instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/Ccdva-VP7w0/ Air Force is helping servicemembers get out of anti-trans states https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/04/air-force-helping-servicemembers-get-anti-trans-states/ San Francisco to hold massive display of AIDS Memorial Quilt to honor its 35th anniversary https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/04/san-francisco-hold-massive-display-aids-memorial-quilt-honor-35th-anniversary/ About Queer News An intersectional approach to daily news podcast where race & sexuality meet politics, entertainment and culture. Tune-in to reporting which centers & celebrates all of our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & comrade communities. Hosted by Anna DeShawn. 7 minutes a day, 5 days a week. We want to hear from you. Tune in and tell us what you think. email us at info@e3radio.fm. follow anna deshawn on ig & twitter: @annadeshawn. and if you're interested in advertising with “queer news,” write to us at info@e3radio.fm.
Episode 3 of our series LGBTQ+ will discuss supporting not only the student, but the family of those in the LGBTQ+ community.
Many countries' borders are reopening, COVID-19 vaccines are rolling out for kids, whether you're staying domestic or going international, thousands of families are already have travel plans for Spring Break 2022. When it comes to families with same-sex parents, however, finding a vacation spot that is both kid-friendly and LGBTQ+ friendly can often feel like a huge and stressful task. This episode, GWK host David Dodge talks to two experts about navigating travel as a gay parent. First, Denise Ambrusko-Maida of Travel Brilliant talks about some low-key LGBTQ+ friendly destinations, and how gay dad families can join together at GWK's 2022 Spring Break Vacation at Universal Resorts in Orlando, Florida. Then, David talks to gay dad and travel blogger Rob Taylor, of @2traveldads, about how he and his husband choose when and where to take their kids, how they educate them on the road, and where same-sex couples might feel safe taking their families on their next road trip across the U.S.Find out more about GWK's Gay Dad Spring Break Vacation at gayswithkids.com/gwk-vacation-orlando-2021 Find Rob Taylor's podcast and blog at 2traveldads.com, and find out more about Denise Ambrusko-Maida at travelbrilliant.netProduced by Brit Smith.
After Stacey and Cheralyn Stevenson were turned away from an adoption agency in Texas for being gay, they refused to give up the fight to build their family. Now, in the face of laws that allow child welfare agencies to discriminate, they're helping other LGBTQ people create the families that they wish. Lance Bass introduces their story and opens up about his own struggle to become a parent. Watch the full video, read more LGBTQ Families' stories and learn how to take action at: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/authentic-voices-of-pride/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
After Stacey and Cheralyn Stevenson were turned away from an adoption agency in Texas for being gay, they refused to give up the fight to build their family. Now, in the face of laws that allow child welfare agencies to discriminate, they're helping other LGBTQ people create the families that they wish. Lance Bass introduces their story and opens up about his own struggle to become a parent. Watch the full video, read more LGBTQ Families' stories and learn how to take action at: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/authentic-voices-of-pride/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In honor of Pride Month, Katie is joined by author of “The Other Mothers,” Jennifer Berney. Jenn addresses the patriarchal ideals that are getting in the way of society accepting LGBTQ+ family-making. She also tells of the struggles she and her partner went through while creating their own family, and the importance of letting children know early on about their donors. Also, did you know that we don't actually share significant DNA with our ancestors? Jen explains more in this special episode. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Gabriela Herman is a Brooklyn-based photographer. She is a Mum and a wife and her mum came out when she was 15. At the time Gabriela found it difficult to come to terms with it because not only had her mum come out, but her parents were separating. It was when she came across COLAGE, the charity for people with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer parents, that she decided to make a book about her experience, showcasing others experiences. Her book ‘The Kids' came off the back of the question of the impact of being raised by LGBTQ+ parents. In the photo book she interviews kids across America who have been brought up by LGBTQ+ parents. Some Families is a StoryHunter Production See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Welcome back to the LAB! This week is part 2 with our special guests....Bri's sister Jenna & her wife Joanne. This week we're dissecting LGBTQ+ Families! The same sex family is still so new to society. This week we unpack the IVF, Pregnancy, Adoption & Fostering. There was lots to discuss & we made sure to get you guys all the step-by-step details! We hope to help anyone out there with any questions they may have! Follow us at @labpartnerspod on instagram and Twitter! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This week is a very exciting week in the LAB! We have two special guests. Bri's sister Jenna & her wife Joanne. This week we're dissecting LGBTQ+ Families! The same sex family is still so new to society. This week we have two mothers who are experiencing it all first hand answer all of our burning hot questions. We hope everyone learns a lot listening & stay tuned for Part 2 next week! Follow us at @labpartnerspod on instagram and Twitter! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Alex is joined this week by Jim Obergefell, the lead plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that made marriage equality the law of the land in the U.S., to discuss the latest battles for queer and trans people who want to adopt and foster children and why we need protections futher codified to ensure that we can do so. Plus, writer and trans advocate, Devin-Norelle, helps break down anti-trans bills and Elliot Page's cover on TIME magazine. ---- Listen to LGBTQ Nation Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus ---- Find more LGBTQ news stories at https://www.lgbtqnation.com/ ---- FOLLOW OUR PANELISTS: Alex Berg: Instagram & Twitter- @itsalexberg Devin-Norelle: Instagram- @steroidbeyonce Jim Obergefell: Facebook & Instagram- @familyequality Twitter- @family_equality Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
To celebrate World Book Day it’s Some Families inaugural book special! Lotte and Stu talk to different authors and illustrators about LGBTQ+ family books. Stu talks to Carolyn Robertson, author and owner of Sparklypoo Publications. Carolyn wrote Two Dads, that Will Young read on CBeebies Bedtime Stories. Lotte chats to Garry and Gareth, the illustrator and author of the new book, My Daddies, the first LGBTQ+ family book published by a major publishing house. They talk about how important it is for people to continue to write LGBTQ+ family books, just because there are some out there already, there is space for a lot more! LINKS My Daddies: https://amzn.to/3cEUm3oGareth: www.garethpeter.co.ukGarry: www.garryparsons.co.ukwww.sparklypoo.comhttps://www.facebook.com/carolyncursiveBOOKS MENTIONEDMy Daddies by Gareth Peter and Garry ParsonsTwo Mums and a Menage and Two Dads by Carolyn RobertsonJulián Is a Mermaid by Jessica LoveThe Argonauts by Maggie NelsonThe Proudest Blue: A Story of Hijab and Family by Ibtihaj MuhammadHeather Has Two Mummies by Lesléa NewmanPrincess Kevin by Michael EscoffierSpacegirl Pukes and If I had 100 Mummies by Vanda CarterHello Sailor by Ingrid GodonSome Families is a StoryHunter Production See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode of OutBüro Voices featuring LGBTQ professionals, entrepreneurs, and community leaders from around the world, host Dennis Velco chats with Michael Johnson-Ellis gay dad and entrepreneur helping the LGBTQ community be informed on family building and family life. When Michael met his partner, his partner had a daughter from a previous marriage with a female. Michael had worked for some time in the fertility industry marketing to prospective parents. Early in their relationship they talked of having kids together and started their research to find information tailored to a gay couple. It became apparent that there was not much. They began documenting their journey creating a following on, Instagram and Facebook with the handle of TwoDadsUK. While attending a family planning expo they saw a transgender couple who appeared shy to approach information booths due to the unwanted attention they received. Michael warmly invited the transgender couple over and shared all the information he could with them. After that event, Michael and his husband decided that there needs to be a family planning expo specifically for the LGBTQ community that is welcoming to everyone. The Modern Family Show was born. Through his past work contacts, he began contacting businesses and speakers. The interest was strong leading to all booths and speaker spaces being booked in a short 4 months. Due to COVID, the event has been postponed and currently due to take place in September 2021. There is already interest to expand the event to the United States in 2022. The event and websites cover all family planning methods from fostering, adoption, surrogacy, and more. Websites: http://www.TwoDadsUK.com http://www.themodernfamilyshow.co.uk/ http://www.mysurrogacyjourney.com/ To connect with Michael find him on OutBüro here. https://outburo.com/profile/twodadsuk/ Join me and Michael on OutBüro, the LGBTQ professional and entrepreneur online community network for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, allies and our employers who support LGBTQ welcoming workplace equality focused benefits, policies, and business practices. https://www.OutBuro.com Would you like to be featured like this? Contact the host Dennis Velco. https://outburo.com/profile/dennisvelco/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/outburo/message
Welcome to Over the Rainbow, an LGBTQ+ podcast dedicated to queer education and queer representation. Hosted by Rachel Keighley (she/her). Episode 5: LGBTQ+ families with Rachel Smith (she/her): In this episode Rachel talks about her two children, who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2020. She also shares her own journey learning more about identity, and reflects on how our patriarchal society has limited gender expression and exploration. We also talk about education and the value of seeing LGBTQ+ people represented. Finally, Rachel shares some amazing resources for anyone wanting to know more about gender identity, whether you are LGBTQ+, or the parent or ally of someone who is LGBTQ+. Information, support and resources for gender non-binary people, and LGBTQ+ allies: This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson Trans Like Me by C.N. Lester They/Them/Their by Eric Young Queer a Graphic History by Meg-John Barker Non-Binary Lives an Anthology of Intersecting Identities Trans Teen Survival Guide by Owl & Fox Fisher My Non-Binary Life Podcast Disclosure documentary More information on this podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_overtherainbowpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/overtherainbowpodcast13 Music: Find Your Way Beat by Nana Kwabena
In one complete live story, Sam brings you on a journey through her years of fertility fails, giving up, going forward, getting a huge gift, and starting on a path to surrogacy – only to meet the greatest surprise of all once Darwyn was finally in her arms.
Season finale: Hear Sam & Kaylee's postpartum secrets and surprises. Kaylee and Sam reconvene after Darwyn's birth to discuss the adventure they've shared, confess what they were both thinking in the hospital, and explore the surprising secrets of motherhood no one ever talks about.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Meet Kaylee as she's 8 months pregnant with Sam's son, Darwyn. Is that weird? Yes and no. They talk about their paths to this moment, their relationship to each other and the baby, and the who, what and why of carrying someone else's child.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Hear Dr. Luk's IVF insights. Sam talks candidly with her first fertility specialist, Dr. Janelle Luk of Generation Next Fertility, about her personal journey to being an REI, what makes a great doctor, and why we can't just make tons of babies easily, the way rabbits do, dammit.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.comFor more information on Dr Janelle Luk visit Generation Next Fertility and follow her on Instagram
Hear Kathleen's transracial adoption story. What happens when you know you want to adopt, but no one wants you back? Maybe you wind up finding the perfect match in a child who is nothing like you.To read Kathleen's blog about parenting visit thisoldmom.com. For Kathleen's essays about transracial parenting:I Racially Profiled My Black Child – This Old MomWhy Am I Brown? – This Old MomHow Does A White Mom Explain Michael Jackson to Her Black Child? – This Old MomFor episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Therapist Savannah keeps us sane. Sam talks with her own therapist, Savannah, whose specialty in infertility issues stems from her own journey to have a child through egg donation. Together, they unpack the emotional minefield of infertility - a minefield that's different for every person who walks through it.Savannah Sanfield is a marriage and family therapist, certified parent coach and maternal mental health specialist. She supports post and preconception families (prenatal to 6 years) as they tackle both common and complex parenting challenges. She is also the proud mother of dragons… err that is, twins.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Dive into Maureen's solo IVF quest and activism. Social worker Maureen could only be described with one word: resilient. Okay, two words: resilient and hilarious. Somehow, between doing IVF as a single woman, navigating sperm banks, egg donors and the cost of it all, she still finds the strength to lobby for IVF health coverage at the state capitol.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.comFor more information on Resolve visit resolve.org
Experience IVF in the 1980s with Lolly & Marvin. Lolly and Marvin tried IVF in its early days, eventually opening their minds to adoption, which at that time involved ads in PennySaver newspapers across the country. And somehow they found their perfect match, even without the Internet.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Find out how Julie found family in Ethiopia. A shocking medical diagnosis forced Julie to give up on IVF, but she couldn't give up on her need to be a parent. In an international adoption journey that took her all the way to Ethiopia, Julie learned how much love and work being a parent could be.Editor’s Note: Julie's children approved this episode and gave permission for its airing.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comTo learn more about Julie and to read some of her written work visit juliecorby.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Egg donor Mary bares all for us. Three-time egg donor Mary has amazing tales to tell about her reasons for donating eggs, the physical and emotional rollercoaster she rode, and why she kept on doing it anyway. In a toast to self-care and her "donor retirement," Mary reminds us to "drink more bubbles" whenever possible.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Learn how songwriter Kyler survived secondary infertility. Singer/songwriter Kyler had her first child easily and was surprised and devastated when her next pregnancies resulted in miscarriage after miscarriage. What do you do when you're already in the "kid world" and everyone around you is popping out multiple siblings like it ain't no thang?For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit www.samshaber.comTo learn more about Kyler and hear her EP The Wilderness visit www.kylerengland.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Elena Joy was the consummate Mormon housewife complete with four children, minivan, and a white picket fence. Then she discovered a secret about herself that threatened to take the whole thing down. She enrolled in a controversial therapy in an effort to keep her marriage and her place in heaven. The ramifications of the therapy almost ended her life. This is the story of how she reclaimed her life. Life 2.0.Elena Joy Thurston is an inspirational speaker and founder of the Pride and Joy Foundation. She grew up in a turbulent home, joined a conservative church as a teenager, put herself through college, married and birthed 4 beautiful children, and then.... Life 2.0 brought a divorce, leaving/getting kicked out of her church, a beautiful love story, and a successful new career! Her viral TEDx talk has paved the way for speaking engagements around the United States. Don't miss another episode. Subscribe to this podcast.If you want learn more about living a fantastic life after alcohol, check out my book!https://www.amazon.com/My-Steps-Sobriety-fantastic-without-ebook/dp/B089ZPD21S/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=stephan+neff&qid=1595922770&s=digital-text&sr=1-1https://www.amazon.com/Kindle-Store/b?ie=UTF8&node=133140011&nocache=1526718783253 And follow me on Instagram, YouTube and Facebook!https://www.instagram.com/mystepstosobriety/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQ5Rgw59jOX4y3iDeMAXpwQhttps://www.facebook.com/mystepstosobriety
In our debut episode, you'll meet Sam's good friend Steph, a 5-year IVF survivor and New York-based high school counselor who still has her sense of humor. Hang with them as they talk candidly about that brutal phrase "advanced maternal age," as well as yoga retreats, annoying things people say, marriage, infertility rage, and the love of friends.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song, “Freak in Love,” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit www.samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
Meet Mike and Rey whose family is made from love and surrogacy. Most gay men weren't having kids when Michael and Rey got together. Seventeen years later, they have three kids, two dogs and a house in Hollywood. With total candor, they share their thoughts on role models, reproduction, surrogates, stigmas, secrets – and the biggest love of all: family.For episode transcripts and to download our theme song “Freak in Love” visit ivfupodcast.comFor more information about Sam’s live stories, performances and music please visit www.samshaber.comWe want to hear from you! Send your comments, questions and stories to ivfupodcast@gmail.com
The JOY Factor: Mindfulness, Compassion, Positive Psychology, Healing, Yoga
Welcome to Episode 29 of The JOY Factor. Our guest today is Jana Glass: Jana started her career working with children and families struggling with mental health issues. She has experience in a variety of settings including in-home therapy, outpatient therapy, day treatment, and residential care. She founded Supportive Solutions twelve years ago to support people managing depression, anxiety, substance abuse, trauma and abuse, infertility, and grief. Although she works with a wide spectrum of clients, her special interests include Healing Trauma, Substance Abuse, and Maternal Mental Health. Prioritizing this population including infertility, miscarriage, difficult births, pre and post-partum depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorders. Jana is acutely aware of the challenges that can accompany individuals and couples on their journey to become parent(s). She struggled with infertility for over three years that included painful experiences of multiple miscarriages, surgeries and invasive reproductive assistance interventions, hospital bedrest, a difficult birth, NICU stay, as well as post-partum mood challenges. Jana was able to find healing through family and community support along with Brainspotting therapy. From these obstacles and challenges, Jana gained a unique ability to understand and empathize with clients still building their desired family. She works with families of all compositions including blended families, LGBTQ Families, and Individuals building their own family. Jana is passionate about helping to foster hope when faced with situations that appear hopeless. Highlights and Glimmers from Today's Show Brainspotting: When trauma overloads our system, brainspotting helps our head and heart realign so that we are better able to make sense of what happened, move on, and feel better. This healing approach expands our capacity to reflect on the experience and see it as just part of our story that we overcame instead of something that feels like it's still happening in the present. We will always remember what happened but it won't hurt anymore. As Jana would say, “It takes its rightful place on the timeline of your life.” “Creating the space for it to be different allows people to have more possibilities which breeds more hope. Having possibilities is enormous for people. “ There are many paths to healing and Brainspotting is an amazing one to include. The brain is powerful and knows how to heal. There are many lessons to be learned along the way. Here are a few: Learn how to give and receive support. Really listen and try to understand. So many things can't be fixed but showing you are present and attuned is more important than finding the right words. Do what you can to stay curious. Try not to make too many assumptions about a situation. It's ok to have ideas but try not to hold on too tightly and be open to where the day takes you. Generate hope by making whatever safe connections you have available to you. Work to build empathy. Be an ally by deeply listening or know your limits. Expectations of the way things are supposed to be steals joy. Try to be more reasonable with how much you can do in a day and what you expect of others. Relationships are more important than anything else. So many different things that come up that don't go the way we'd hope but we can navigate those times with more skills when we stay connected and nurture our relationships. Keep that love connection and relationship in the front-that's how we tap back into the joy. There is a point to turn things around. Focus on the rebound. We can fall down but we get back up. Be in the moment The small things are the big things. Every moment isn't perfect but the times you can find a reason to smile or be silly are beautiful. Right here right now. If you try one thing that didn't work out for you keep trying. Go with the flow but stay on the path. Jana's Contact Information: www.supportivesolutionsga.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/perinatalbrainspotting/ Resources Mentioned Postpartum Support International Certification in Perinatal Mental Health Look for folks who have specialized specific training in the area of perinatal mental health. Learn more about Brainspotting Recognize when you could use a little outside support. Never been a time where it's more accessible to find help online. Including brainspotting. Thank you for Listening It is a true honor to bring this podcast to you and I am so grateful that you took the time to listen. If you enjoyed the show, please share it with your friends and family. The JOY Factor Podcast Do you have a second to complete this brief listener survey? It helps our show track who is listening so we can create topics of interest to you! http://survey.libsyn.com/thejoyfactorpodcast
In this week's episode, hosts Aleksa Manila and Egan Orion explore the challenges of same-sex couples and their kids during the pandemic, plus solicit some advice for Egan for starting his family in 2021. Same-sex couples have always had challenges making babies, but more are taking the plunge and we wanted to check in with them to see how their fairing with all the challenges of 2020. Featuring couples Sarah Toce and Stephanie Brusig (with their daughter Sophia) and Steven Park and Mark Greenough and their three kids. A bonus conversation about being the "other" and the importance of belonging.
Family Travel Radio believes in family vacations where all are welcome. Today's guest helped pioneer vacation planning for LGBTQ families and their friends. Full episode notes at (https://familytravel.org/podcast/episode-80) OUR GUEST Gregg Kaminsky - Co-founder of (https://toandfrofam.com/) RESOURCES (https://toandfrofam.com/) - LGBTQ family travel & vacations where all are welcome
Encircle is providing programs, services and reduced cost therapy to young LGBTQ individuals and their families. CEO Stephenie Larson tells Healthy Mind Matters Host Maria Shilaos that her organization's goal is to provide a safe place for young people to navigate their own journey.
Encircle website Watch the presentation and see the full Encircle A.P.E.X. event details.
Join Kelli and Anne for their 108th NEW episode! They begin this episode by talking about Valentine's Day and how they are headed off for Thailand. Next Kelli talks about her new hearing aids, teens and technology, Anne's upcoming concert dates (www.annesteele.com) and Kelli's upcoming R Family trips. www.rfamilyvacations.com Their Special Guests today are Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins, the hosts of the very popular podcast “If These Ovaries Could Talk”, that celebrates LGBTQ families. Hear about their own families, how they met and decided to start their own podcast and what is coming next for them (including a new book). Find out more about them at www.ovariestalk.com As always, they end with a cocktail from Equality Vodka. This week, in honor of Jamie & Robin and their podcast, they are serving The New Normal!
Shop and Donate to LGBT Stories www.ourlgbtstories.com Coming out to your friends and family is never really that amazing of a thing. It's exhausting and oftentimes terrifying. If you're lucky, you were raised in a family that expressed emotions and create space for you to be just as you are, which made it easy for you to "come out." If that was you, damn, I am happy for you! However, for many others, that was not their experience. For some who haven't come out yet, they continue to operate in a space where they fear the worse. Today's guest is Rick. Rick's coming out experience was pretty pleasant and "easy." He is going to share with you what it was like for him to tell his family that he is gay and how that lead him on a path to writing his book, "Rainbow Relatives - Real World Stories and Advice on How To Talk to Kids about LGBTQ+ Families and Friends." Talking to children about this topic is essential. I think that parents need to educate themselves more on the LGBTQ community. Your kids, whether you like it or not, are going to interact with LGBTQ people throughout their lives. Many of your children are going to most likely, at some point, come out at LGBTQ in their lifetime. Why not get in front of it sooner? If you could normalize and make this life at all easier for your children, would you not do that? It's time to start having conversations with children about sexuality and gender far sooner than we are. There is so much evidence that kids are aware of their sexuality much sooner than we begin educating them on the subject. We all know that by the time we are talking about it with them, it's too late. The damage is often already done. And this is why I think books like Rick's are so important. The author is also the writer and producer of the film Walk A Mile In My Pradas, starring Tom Arnold, Dee Wallace, and Bruce Vilanch and it is on Amazon Prime at http://tinyurl.com/gnwsehl Connect with Rick online www.rickkaratas.com Follow LGBT Stories on Instagram at http://www.instagram.com/ourlgbtstories Follow Kevin Gerdes on Instagram at http://www.instagram.com/kevingerdes Donate and Shop www.ourlgbtstories.com
Join us as we talk with high-profile gay parents about the joys and challenges of raising families. Our guests: James Loduca leads global inclusion and diversity efforts at Twitter. In this new role, he will lead a team responsible for ensuring the company reflects its service and that Twitter remains a place for people to freely express themselves. He has previously held leadership positions in the tech and nonprofit sectors, where his work has focused on advocating for underrepresented communities and driving a more diverse and inclusive future for everyone. He served as an advisor to the Obama White House and proudly serves as a Latinx member of the LGBTQ Advisory Committee to U.S. Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Jeff Titterton is chief marketing officer at Zendesk. Prior to Zendesk, Jeff led engagement marketing at Adobe for its flagship Creative Cloud business. He has also served as CMO at 99designs, VP of marketing at Zoosk, and SVP of consumer marketing and services at PlanetOut Inc, among others. Jeff holds a B.A. in English and economics from Cornell University. He lives in San Francisco with his husband and two children. Dr. Eldon Schriock has been at the forefront of assisted reproductive technology since 1981 and was a member of the medical team that performed the first IVF treatment in Northern California. In the past, as director of the UCSF IVF Program, he established its first egg donor program. At Pacific Fertility Clinic, he takes interest in and has expertise with couples whose IVF treatment has been unsuccessful at other clinics. Michelle Meow brings her long-running daily radio show to The Commonwealth Club one day each week. Meet fascinating—and often controversial—people discussing important issues of interest to the LGBTQ community, and have your questions ready. ** This Podcast Contains Explicit Language ** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
SPEAKERS James Loduca Head of Global Inclusion and Diversity, Twitter; former Director for Equality, Salesforce Eldon Schriock M.D., Fertility Specialist, Pacific Fertility Center Jeff Titterton Chief Marketing Officer, Zendesk Michelle Meow Host, "The Michelle Meow Show" (Radio and KBCW TV) John Zipperer Host, Week to Week Political Roundtable, The Commonwealth Club—Co-Host This program was recorded in front of a live audience at The Commonwealth Club of California in San Francisco on June 27th, 2019. ** This Podcast Contains Explicit Language **
Love! Romance! Intimate relationships! Marriage! Divorce! Remarriage! Clowns! This episode has it all. The wonderfully warm Dr. Benjamin Karney of the UCLA Marriage lab has been studying romance and intimate relationships for 20 years and sits down to chat about being single and the mechanisms behind finding a partner, what behaviors foster intimacy, why some couples stay together vs. splitting up, some bananas proposals, wedding budgets, how parenting affects marriage, historical problems with matrimony and his own experiences with marriage and divorce. These behaviors are also so applicable to friendships, work partnerships and as it turns out...professional clowns. Dr. Ben Karney at the UCLA Marriage Lab This week's donation was made to Care.org, which works to end gender-based violence. Sponsor links: TheGreatCourses.com/ologies, Linkedin.com/ologies, TrueandCo.com/ologies More links at alieward.com/ologies/matrimoniology Become a patron of Ologies for as little as a buck a month: www.Patreon.com/ologies OlogiesMerch.com has hats, shirts, pins, totes! Follow @Ologies on Twitter or Instagram Follow @AlieWard on Twitter or Instagram Sound editing by Steven Ray Morris & Jarrett Sleeper Theme song by Nick Thorburn Support the show.
Emily Stevenson offers inclusive care for all families and individuals, including fertility, conception, prenatal, homebirth, postpartum, lactation and doula services. Emily offers her services not just as a Certified Professional Midwife but as a Queer Certified Professional Midwife. She recently worked with Haitian midwives at the MamaBaby Haiti Birth Center. Prior to becoming a midwife, Emily spent several years as a doula and trained in emergency medical services. Pregnant persons have a right to be treated with respect and dignity during labor and child birth. This is especially important to LGBTQ families that also exist outside cisgender and heteronormative worldviews. LGBTQ families might have a hard time within the healthcare system because of seemingly simple things like the language we use when taking a history, lack of social support, and discrimination from providers and other healthcare staff. Midwives often meet people at their most vulnerable. A young woman may be coming in for her first annual exam, or a pregnant woman is coming in for prenatal care. Women come from different walks of life, and Midwives strive to give compassionate care to everyone.
In this month’s episode of Outspoken Voices, Emily talks with Jane Barber, a nurse and adaptive sports professional with a passion for yoga and mindfulness. Emily and Jane discuss how to overcome some barriers to healthy practices and why self-care isn’t selfish, but rather valuable for our families. Learn more at https://www.familyequality.org/podcast
It's roundtable time! Two couples talk about family planning as queer people of color. And how their own parents and cultural backgrounds inform their decisions. To join the conversation, go to longestshortesttime.com! This episode is brought to you by Madison Reed, Squarespace, Yogi Teas, and Wunder Capital.
We pick up where we left off with Kiely, Jenna, and their sperm donor Dominick. This time it's Jenna's turn to get pregnant. And, unlike last time, things do not go according to plan. To join the conversation, go to www.longestshortesttime.com! This episode is brought to you by Third Love, Paper Culture, Olive & Cocoa, Toca TV and Little Passports.
How do you make a baby when you’ve got a uterus and your partner does, too? We hear how one family did it, in this two-parter. And how some of their plans…don’t go according to plan. To join the conversation, go to www.longestshortesttime.com! This episode is brought to you by Fracture, Paper Culture, Olive & Cocoa, Eloquii and Yogi Tea.
In this week's episode we talk about how Early Childhood Educators can create an environment that is inclusive for all families, including LGBTQ or “Rainbow” families. We delve into why visibility of LGBTQ families is important in the preschool context, how educators can promote inclusivity in their curriculum, and how best to communicate diversity with ALL families in your program. Our guest, Shelley Secrett, has been an Early Childhood Educator for over 12 years and is currently an ECE at Emmanuel at Brighton Child Care Centre in Waterloo, Ontario. She is also the owner of Secrett Events, which helps organize non-profit events highlighting local talent, people and shared experiences to bring community together. To learn more about having an inclusive environment in your preschool and working with LGBTQ families, stay tuned for this week's episode of The Preschool Podcast!
The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington's Imagine Israel
Host Robbie Gringras interviews co-writer and director of the LGBTQ family drama “Ima v' Abbas” (Mother and Fathers) about the intersection of his personal family dynamic in Israel (raising a child as a gay couple with a straight, single surrogate), his work, passions and Israeli society.