Podcasts about hyperactive

If you have ADHD and grief shows up, do you stay busy? Keep moving? Find something else to do? Stay ahead of the quiet? And then through it all does it find you anyway? Waking up at 2 AM, out of nowhere, when you thought you were past it?That's not you doing grief wrong. That's just how ADHD brains grieve. And this episode is about what to actually do when it catches up.Last time, David and Isabelle unpacked why ADHD brains seem to grieve in the wrong order. Why you can stand dry-eyed at a funeral and then fall apart completely at a graduation. And why neither of those things means something is wrong with you. Then they get into the part nobody usually makes time for: what to actually do when it shows up.In this episode:Why ADHD brains get practical when grief shows up, and what it costs when everyone goes homeThe empirical case David makes from his own life for why how much you cry has nothing to do with how much you lovedWhat it actually means to grieve something that isn't a person. A city. A chapter. A version of yourself that no longer fits.Isabelle's therapist's tool for making a date with your grief so it stops ambushing you at 2 AM-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Time Agnosia The ADHD experience of not being able to feel time passing the way neurotypical brains do. In this episode it comes up as one explanation for why grief doesn't hit when everyone expects it to. Your brain isn't programmed to feel things on the service's schedule. It hits when it hits, in its own time, in a future moment you weren't ready for.Asynchronous Processing What happens when your brain doesn't process the big emotional stuff in real time. You can be right in the middle of something and feel completely fine. Then weeks later on a walk, out of nowhere, it lands. That's not numbness. That's just how your brain works.Moral Reasoning Isabelle brings up something from a philosophy course that's stayed with her. The idea that a friend is someone you agree to mourn if they die before you. That choosing to be close to someone is already a quiet acknowledgment that one of you will miss the other. She has never forgotten it.Practical Griever The person who, when loss shows up, immediately pivots to action. Makes the calls, brings the food, goes and cleans the house. David and Isabelle both recognize themselves here. The thing is, the grief doesn't go anywhere. It just waits until the room gets quiet.Ambiguous Losses Grief without a clear name or a socially accepted reason to mourn. Moving away from a city you loved. Losing a version of yourself. A friendship that ended without a conversation. Isabelle talks about still carrying grief from leaving Chicago. These losses are real. They just rarely get the space real grief deserves."Nora" David and Isabelle's shorthand for norepinephrine, the brain chemical wired into mood, attention, and stress response. Comes up here in the context of making sure your basic needs are met before you try to sit with the hard stuff. Nora has to be okay before grief can move through you the way it needs to.Duration Measure Isabelle's term for the container David's timer approach creates. When you decide you're going to sit with grief for a set amount of time and then get up, that's a duration measure. It makes the feeling tolerable because it has edges. You're not drowning in it. You know when it ends.Bobby Richards Isabelle's husband and the new Executive Producer of Something Shiny: ADHD. Gets a very well-earned shoutout in this episode for the audio upgrade you're hopefully hearing right now.Autonomic Nervous System The system that runs the involuntary stuff including heart rate, breathing, and stress response. Comes up in Isabelle's deep dive into dyspraxia and how the brain's predictive processing works differently in neurodivergent people.Dyspraxia A motor coordination difference that often shows up alongside ADHD and autism. Isabelle has a paradigm shift in this episode about what dyspraxia actually is and how it connects to the brain's predictive software. Why change is so dysregulating. Why your body is always ten steps behind your brain.AuDHD Having both autism and ADHD. Comes up as Isabelle and David get into the overlap between the two and what it means for how neurodivergent people process change, repetition, and sensory experience.-------

Membre du fameux collectif marseillais Maraboutage depuis 2019, Barak aka Scorpio Qveen, a autant de casquettes que de cordes à son arc créatif. Hyperactive, l'artiste est à la fois coach sportif, danseuse, chorégraphe, chanteuse, musicienne, performeuse et DJ.©Mael Chery Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

Membre du fameux collectif marseillais Maraboutage depuis 2019, Barak aka Scorpio Qveen, a autant de casquettes que de cordes à son arc créatif. Hyperactive, l'artiste est à la fois coach sportif, danseuse, chorégraphe, chanteuse, musicienne, performeuse et DJ. ©Mael Chery

If you have ADHD, you might already know this particular kind of shame. You held it together at a super sad event (let's say a funeral). Dry-eyed, composed, functioning. And then weeks later you completely lost it over something small like a scratch in a piece of furniture, a voicemail you couldn't get a read on, or a realizing you missed claiming a hold on the book at the library you'd been waiting months for. Then you thought there was something wrong with you for not feeling grief or frustration when you were supposed to. Or for feeling it so hard in all the wrong places. Here's the thing: there's nothing wrong with you! And this episode is going to tell you why.This conversation with David and Isabelle started with the last ten percent of a move that never gets finished, with Christmas lights still up in January, with holiday cards that feel impossible to take down because taking them down means saying goodbye. You probably have your version of all of this. Isabelle shares her story of an IKEA table, a scrap truck, and how when her husband Bobby gave the table a voice in the alley while she watched from the window, she burst into tears. If any of this strikes a cord, David shares a reframe for all of these grief-based adventures. It's specific, it's kind, and it's going to rearrange some things you've been carrying around for a while.In this episode:Why ADHD brains declare mission accomplished at 95 percent done, and why the last bit never happensWhy dopamine lives in anticipation, not completion, and what that means for the finish line of anythingWhat Toy Story, Beauty and the Beast, and The Iron Giant actually did to neurodivergent brains (and why you always buy the wonky stuffed animal)Why ADHD brains tend to hold onto everything or onto nothing, and what both are reaching forWhy you couldn't cry at the funeral but sobbed over an IKEA table, and what David says grief actually is-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:The ROI Equation What David calls the moment at 95 percent done when your anxiety drops, your brain decides the job is basically finished, and completing the last bit suddenly feels pointless. Not laziness. Not a character flaw. Just math.Dopamine The brain chemical most associated with ADHD. It gets released in anticipation of a reward, not when the reward actually arrives. This is why ordering the pizza feels better than eating it, why the first ninety percent of a project is exciting and the last ten is impossible, and why the Christmas lights are still up in February.Norepinephrine (Nora) Comes in after dopamine and helps your brain make meaning of what just happened. Also wired into the stress and anxiety response, which is why finishing something can feel worse than you expected. David and Isabelle call it "nora" throughout the episode.Existential Intervention David's term for the conscious act of changing the meaning you attach to finishing something, since your brain won't generate that motivation on its own. Instead of waiting to feel ready, you decide what finishing actually means to you. That decision becomes the thing that gets you across the line.Near-peer mentoring Learning from someone just a few steps ahead of you rather than an expert at a distance. Comes up in the context of the pandemic, when both David and Isabelle realized everyone's life looked a lot more like theirs than they'd assumed.Animism The tendency to believe objects have feelings or inner lives. It shows up as why Isabelle is nearly in tears watching an IKEA table get picked up by a scrap truck, why David buys the dying flowers at the store, and why you feel genuinely bad about donating a stuffed animal with slightly off stitching. Most neurodivergent people have it. The episode makes a case for why that makes complete sense.-------

If you have ADHD and you got your diagnosis as an adult, odds are it felt like a spotlight switched on over your entire life and everything, every struggle, every pattern, every thing you couldn't explain about yourself is suddenly lit up.Afdhel Aziz has spent decades building an extraordinary creative life. Writer, filmmaker, keynote speaker, Forbes contributor. He even recorded an entire album in his living room last year. Through it all buildling a framework that made his career work without knowing it was an accommodation. All of it running on a neurodivergent brain he didn't have a name for yet. Then about a month and a half before this conversation, that changed.What you're about to hear is what happens when David and Isabelle get to sit with someone who is learning to understand their ADHD in the moment. Unpacking in real time what his brain has been doing all along, why the things that worked worked, why the things that didn't couldn't, and what it means to finally see yourself clearly after years of a blurry reflection. The epiphanies were still arriving while we were recording. You'll feel that.In this episode:What a late ADHD diagnosis feels like when you're already successfulThe Four P's framework (Purpose, Priorities, Process, People) and how Afdhel built it without knowing it was an accommodationWhy ADHD and anxiety create a loop that keeps you stuck, and what breaks itWhat happened when he told his team about his diagnosis and the instruction manual that changed how they work togetherHow his marriage shifted when he stopped trying to be good at things he wasn't good atAfdhel's self-forgiveness practice: "I forgive myself for judging myself for doing X"Accommodations plus Community equals Self-Esteem and why that equation is simpler and more powerful than it soundsWhy medication might not have to be the only path and what to do when it doesn't work for your brain-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Inattentive ADHD One of the three presentations of ADHD, characterized primarily by difficulty sustaining attention, frequent distraction, and challenges with organization and follow-through rather than the hyperactivity most people associate with ADHD. Often goes undiagnosed longer, particularly in adults who have built workarounds without realizing it.The Four P's Afdhel's personal framework and accomodation for operating with an ADHD brain. Purpose (who you are and where you're going), Priorities (deciding what actually matters right now), Process (building systems so your brain only does the parts it's built for), and People (surrounding yourself with those who complement what you can't do alone). Learn more at afdhelaziz.com.Dave Flink Founder of the Neurodiversity Alliance, a nonprofit supporting neurodiverse students in high schools and colleges. His equation from this episode: Accommodations + Community = Self-EsteemMetacognition Thinking about your own thinking. In this episode it shows up as Afdhel's growing ability to observe his own thought patterns as they're happening and redirect before going down a rabbit hole.Saint Royale Afdhel's music project. He wrote, produced, and performed an entire album in his home studio in LA, available on Spotify.Good is the New Cool Afdhel's creative studio and book series built around purpose-driven storytelling. His most recent book, Good is the New Cool: Guide to Personal Purpose, explores how to find and build a life around your purpose. Find it here.Afdhel's Forbes Article Before this conversation happened, Afdhel wrote about Something Shiny: ADHD!. Read it here.-------

If you have ADHD, chances are "just believe in yourself" has never quite landed. Not because you're broken, but because traditional self-esteem advice wasn't built for a brain like yours.In this episode, David offers a reframe that actually makes sense for neurodivergent minds: self-esteem isn't about confidence or positivity. It's about something more fundamental — the belief that you will survive what happens next. That one shift changes how you start things, why waiting to feel ready keeps you stuck, and why you can feel completely competent in one area of your life and utterly lost in another.Isabelle works through it live — and it gets uncomfortably specific. The kind of specific that might stop you mid-listen and make you go: oh. that's me.In this episode:Why "believe in yourself" feels abstract or impossible for ADHD and neurodivergent brains — and why that's not on youThe difference between self-esteem and self-efficacy, and which one actually gets you movingWhy your confidence can feel solid one day and completely gone by 4pmHow ADHD variability makes traditional self-esteem advice quietly set you up to failWhy doing something imperfectly still builds more trust in yourself than waiting until you're readyWhy outsourcing might actually be a self-esteem strategy — and when it isn't-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Albert Bandura — The psychologist behind self-efficacy theory. Shifted the conversation from "feeling good about yourself" to something more specific: your belief that you can handle a particular situation. David respectfully disagrees with part of his model. In the best way.Self-efficacy — Your belief that you can act and influence an outcome. The key thing: it's built through experience, not feelings. You don't have to feel ready to start building it.Self-esteem (reframed) — Traditionally, how you feel about yourself. David's version: the belief that you'll survive the outcome — even when things go sideways. That shift makes it possible to act without needing confidence first.VAST (Variable Attentional Stimulation Seeking Trait) — From ADHD 2.0 by Hallowell & Ratey. A reframe of ADHD as variability of attention rather than a deficit. Your ability to focus, engage, and follow through shifts depending on context, stimulation, and internal state. Sound familiar?Norepinephrine — A neurotransmitter tied to attention and alertness. More involved in your moment-to-moment sense of I can do this than most people realize.Metacognition — Thinking about your own thinking. Useful for understanding your patterns. Also a reliable path to an overthinking spiral at 11pm. Both things are true.Self-perpetuating feedback loop — When thoughts, feelings, and behaviors keep reinforcing each other. Not acting builds doubt. Acting — even imperfectly — starts building something else instead.Neophobic — The very human tendency to resist new things. Especially loud when there's no precedent and the stakes feel like they have no bottom.-------

This week, David and Isabelle continue their conversation with Avari Brocker — Neurodiversity Alliance student advocate and founder of LearningCurb.org. Avari talks about what it felt like to go from being on her own little island to being surrounded by other neurodivergent people, and realizing (maybe for the first time) that it was actually safe to be fully herself. The group also gets into the difference between being around people who tolerate you vs. being around people who just get it. If you've ever felt exhausted from constantly managing yourself around other people or if you've ever needed a reminder that belonging is not extra, it's foundational… this one's for you!Here's what's coming your way:Why being around like-minded neurodivergent people can feel like coming homeA clear breakdown of what high masking feels like from the insideWhy shared experience can make it easier to stop overexplaining and start relaxingHow community can help you stand up for yourself in ways you might not otherwiseThe story behind Learning Curb and why its whole mission is rooted in accessA reminder that the things you needed most can become the very things you build for someone else -------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance: An organization that supports neurodivergent young people through leadership, mentorship, and advocacy. In this conversation, it's also the community space where David and Isabelle first connected with Avari. Learn more at TheNDAlliance.org. Dyslexia: A learning disability that affects reading, spelling, and language processing. In this conversation, Avari talks about how meaningful it was when other dyslexic people heard her speak not just about the hard parts, but the good parts too. Dysgraphia: A learning disability that affects writing. Here, it's part of the group of neurodivergent experiences Avari has already been advocating around and building resources for. The “curb cut” effect: The idea behind Learning Curb's name. Curb cuts were added to sidewalks after the Americans with Disabilities Act to support wheelchair users, but they ended up helping lots of other people too — parents with strollers, skateboarders, cyclists, and delivery workers. Avari uses that as a model for education: when you lower the barrier to access for the most vulnerable people, everybody benefits. High masking: Constantly adjusting your behavior, communication, or presentation so you seem more acceptable, understandable, or “normal” to other people. Avari describes doing this in neurotypical spaces and contrasts it with the relief of not needing to do it so much in neurodivergent community. Neurospicy: A playful community term some neurodivergent people use for themselves. Isabelle uses it here while talking about the way neurospicy conversations can go from breadcrumb-level sharing to a full French dip hoagie in about two seconds. Narrative Reasoning: Avari's phrase for the way her brain explains things through story, analogy, and comparison that other people can understand. Neurotypical: People whose brains work in ways that are more socially expected or normalized. In this conversation, Avari contrasts neurotypical spaces with neurodivergent ones, especially in terms of masking, safety, and how much self-management is required. Love bombing: A phrase Avari uses jokingly while talking about how quickly people bonded at the Neurodiversity Alliance. In context, she's naming the relief of being able to connect intensely without immediately worrying that it's “too much.” “English is just three languages in a trench coat”: Avari's explanation for why English spelling is chaos, and Isabelle immediately clocks it as the best saying ever!Night Witches: The nickname given by German soldiers during World War II to the Soviet Union's all-female 588th Night Bomber Regiment, known for flying dangerous nighttime bombing missions against Nazi forces. Isabelle brings them up as an example of the kind of fully formed special-interest tangent that can come pouring out once someone takes the bait in a neurodivergent conversation. -------

This week, David and Isabelle sit down with Avari Brocker — Neurodiversity Alliance student advocate and founder of Learning Curb — for a conversation about something so many neurodivergent people carry quietly for years: knowing you're different, only seeing your deficits, and not having language for why life feels so much harder than it seems to for everyone else.Avari shares what it was like to be diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at 16 after struggling for most of her life, and why the worst thing she thought she might hear was that something wasn't actually wrong. David and Isabelle unpack why that fear lands so deeply, especially for high-achieving, high-masking kids who get told they're just too anxious or “you'll be fine” while they're privately drowning.Avari also shares how that late diagnosis lit a fire under LearningCurb.org, the resource hub she built so other neurodivergent kids and families don't have to spend a year desperately searching for answers while they're still in the middle of struggling.If you've ever thought, “I know something's different, but I don't know what”… if you've ever worried that a label would make things worse… or if you've ever needed someone to say there's a reason this has felt this hard, this one's for you.Here's what's coming your way:Why the label you fear can sometimes be the thing that finally brings reliefA powerful breakdown of what it means to grow up seeing only your deficits and not your strengthsWhy high-masking, high-achieving kids can get missed for yearsHow research, self-understanding, and advocacy can change the trajectory of someone's lifeWhat Avari built after diagnosis — and why it matters for neurodivergent kids and families now-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance: An organization that supports neurodivergent young people through leadership, mentorship, and advocacy. In this conversation, it's also the community space where David and Isabelle first connected with Avari.Dyslexia: A learning disability that affects reading, spelling, and language processing. In this episode, Avari talks about finally having language for why reading and spelling had felt so hard for so long.Dysgraphia: A learning disability that affects writing. It can show up in handwriting, spelling, and getting thoughts onto the page. Avari references how physically hard writing tasks could be for her.LearningCurb.org: Avari's resource hub for neurodivergent kids and families. She created it to give people one place to find tools, support, and information for different neurodiverse needs.Interconnected Thinking: Avari's phrase for the way her brain naturally links ideas, experiences, and patterns together. She talks about this as one of her neurodivergent strengths.Hyperfocus: A common ADHD experience where attention gets locked onto something intensely. Avari mentions that she used to assume everyone experienced hyperfocus the way she did.Eye Diagnosis for Slow Tracking: A diagnosis related to how the eyes track across a page or visual field. In Avari's case, that diagnosis helped her access extra time on tests before she later received her ADHD and dyslexia diagnoses.Trauma Mastery: A phrase Isabelle uses to describe the way people sometimes make meaning out of painful experiences by using what they learned to protect or help others.-------

This week, David and Isabelle unpack why moving can hit neurodivergent brains so much harder than people realize. Yes, there's the obvious stress of boxes, clutter, visual chaos, and trying to remember where literally anything is. But underneath that, they get into the deeper part too: what happens when your routines disappear, your environment stops making sense, and even the tiniest automatic actions suddenly don't exist anymore.Because this episode is really about more than moving. It's about that awful, disorienting in-between where something is objectively good… and your nervous system is still like, “Absolutely not.” David breaks down why change itself can land as painful, why losing patterns can feel like losing your footing, and why so many neurospicy folks get slammed by overwhelm before the new environment has had a chance to make sense yet.And instead of just naming the problem, they get to what actually can help. The conversation gets into why your brain may need to physically build new patterns before anything feels manageable again, why body doubling can interrupt the buffering, why visual overwhelm matters more than people think, and how different neurospicy brains need totally different systems in order to function.If you've ever been excited about a change and still felt totally wrecked by it. Or, if you've ever looked around and thought, “Why does this feel so hard when this is supposed to be good?” this one will probably hit home.Here's what's coming your way: Why “good change” can still feel painful, disorienting, and weirdly grief-y for ADHD and AuDHD brainsA really helpful breakdown of how routines, environment, and repeated actions quietly hold daily life togetherLanguage for the specific kind of overwhelm that happens when nothing feels automatic anymoreWhy unpacking can create instant buffering, shutdown, and decision fatigueHow body doubling, music, and visual clarity can help interrupt overwhelm and make starting easierWhy different brains need wildly different organization systems--and why that doesn't mean anyone is doing it wrong-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Bobby: Isabelle's husband.Sarah: A partner in David's practice. David brings up a conversation with Sarah while wondering out loud whether change can actually register as pain in the brain. Robin: David's partner, who comes up while he's describing the home setup that helps his own brain keep track of where things are. Clutterbug YouTube: The decluttering channel Isabelle shouts out because those videos have basically become her fake body-doubling companions while unpacking. https://www.youtube.com/@ClutterbugBody Doubling: A support strategy where doing a task gets easier because someone else is there with you — even virtually. Isabelle talks about using decluttering videos that way during the move. Object Permanence: The very real neurospicy experience of something effectively disappearing once it's boxed up, put away, or moved out of its usual place.Externalized Memory: David's phrase for needing to physically put something somewhere yourself in order to actually remember where it is later. Procedural Memory: Isabelle's way of describing how much she relies on repeated physical action — reach here, plug this in there, turn this direction — instead of remembering things abstractly.-------

Listen if you've ever wondered why you perform best under pressure, struggle with consistency, or feel like your focus doesn't always match your ambition.In this episode, Dex explores a common but often unspoken pattern among high-performing leaders — traits associated with ADHD — and how they show up in leadership, performance, and burnout.This is not about diagnosis. It's about recognising a leadership operating style, understanding its strengths, and learning how to work with it more effectively.Dex walks through: Why this pattern shows up in high achievers  The strengths that often drive success  The hidden costs that can lead to inconsistency and burnout  Practical adjustments to improve performance and sustainability  How to protect recovery and build a leadership style that works with your mind, not against it Key takeaway:Energy management is leadership performance. Precision matters more than intensity.-----------------------------------  Resources:Leadership Performance without Burnout https://go.dexrandall.com/leadershipDex AI Coach https://app.coachvox.ai/share/dexrandallConfidential. Expert. Free. Your Leadership Performance Partner.For even more TIPS see FACEBOOK: @coachdexrandallINSTAGRAM: @coachdexrandallLINKEDIN: @coachdexrandallYOUTUBE: @dexburnoutcoachSee https://linktr.ee/coachdexrandall for all links

Ever needed extra time, extra support, or a different way of doing something and immediately thought, “Wait… is this cheating?”Yeah. That feeling is way more common than you think.This week, David and Isabelle are back on stage at the Neurodiversity Alliance Leadership Summit in Denver for the second part of their live conversation with Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance. Jesse has been part of this community for years as a mentor, leader, and now the person helping guide the organization forward. The Leadership Summit is where Neurodiversity Alliance mentors and student leaders from across the country gather for training, storytelling, and connection. It's a room full of neurodivergent students learning how to talk about their brains with confidence—and how to help younger kids do the same.In this part of the live conversation, Safia Mohammed, a Brooklyn-based nursing student and Neurodiversity Alliance Student Ambassador who's been part of the community for several years, joins the conversation. She shares her story about something a lot of neurodivergent people wrestle with: the uncomfortable feeling that needing support somehow means you're doing something wrong.Safia talks about her experience first received an IEP (Individualized Education Program) in elementary school. At the time, it felt confusing. She was being pulled out of class for extra help and didn't really understand why. And like a lot of neurodivergent kids, she started wondering something was wrong with her. David and Isabelle unpack why moments like that are so common in the neurodivergent experience, from the stigma around accommodations to the deeply ingrained belief that success only counts if it's hard.If you've ever hesitated to ask for help because you didn't want to feel like you were getting an advantage, this conversation might shift how you think about support and what it's actually there to do.Here's what's coming your way:Safia's story of receiving an IEP and why it felt confusing when she was youngerThe moment that changed how she understood accommodationsWhy so many neurodivergent people feel shame around getting supportHow stigma around accommodations keeps people from advocating for what they need-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:IEP (Individualized Education Program): A formal education plan used in U.S. schools to provide accommodations and support for students with learning differences or disabilities. These supports can include extra time on tests, alternative learning environments, or additional instructional support designed to help students demonstrate what they actually know.Accommodations: Adjustments made in school or work environments that allow people with learning differences or disabilities to access the same opportunities as others. Examples include extended time on exams, quieter testing environments, or different ways of presenting information.Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): An organization where neurodivergent young adults and teens mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects and advocacy work. The rebrand reflects what they actually do: build an alliance of humans across the neurodivergent spectrum who know how to tell their full stories, vulnerabilities and superpowers included.OI: A term used by members of the Neurodiversity Alliance community to refer to the organization's annual leadership summit where mentors and student leaders gather for training and connection.-------

Ever walked into a room full of neurodivergent people and thought, "Oh no, what if I'm NOT actually ADHD? What if I don't belong here either?" Yeah. That's a thing. And it's weirdly universal.This week, David and Isabelle are taking you inside the Neurodiversity Alliance Leadership Summit in Denver for a special live recording with Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye). If Jesse's name sounds familiar, that's because he joined us recently to talk about mentorship and the intersectionality of neurodivergence with race, class, and systemic barriers. This time, we're bringing you the live conversation that started it all!The Neurodiversity Alliance brings together neurodivergent young adults and teens who mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects, advocacy, and identity work. The ND Alliance Leadership Summit is where their mentors and leaders gather for training, and David and Isabelle got to do a live podcast on stage in front of the whole group.What "finding your people" actually means when you have ADHD is more than just support. It's about finally stopping the cycle of feeling like a broken, defective version of a person and starting to feel like you belong. Jesse talks about showing up to his first summit 15 years ago "ADHD curious," terrified he wouldn't get the diagnosis and therefore wouldn't get to be part of this incredible community. Isabelle tears up remembering the moment David brought her to her first ND Alliance event and she realized, "Oh. OH. This is me." And David reflects on two decades of watching this organization do something he's never seen anywhere else: teach neurodivergent kids that being different doesn't mean being deficient.This isn't a "yay, you found support!" episode. This is about finding your SHAPE (your superpowers, your heart, your abilities, your personality, your experiences) and realizing your worth has absolutely nothing to do with how much money you make or how well you perform. It's about walking into a room where you don't have to mask, where everyone's fidgeting, and where "wait, you do that too?" is the most healing sentence in the English language.If you've ever felt inadequate, like you're failing at being a person, or like you don't quite fit anywhere, grab tissues. This one's for you.Here's what's coming your way:Jesse's journey from "ADHD curious" to diagnosed adult to president of the organization that changed his lifeWhy the fear of NOT being neurodivergent enough to belong is just as real as the fear of having ADHDThe moment Isabelle realized she had ADHD and David said "welcome to the community" (she's still not over it)What "finding your SHAPE" actually means and why it's the key to career alignment and callingWhy neurodiversity creates connection across race, class, and identity in ways other affinity spaces sometimes struggle withWhat Jesse would tell his 10-year-old self (spoiler: "You are worthy and loved beyond measure, and no one can take that from you")How the Neurodiversity Alliance is literally changing education by teaching kids to talk about their brains with mastery instead of shame-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): An organization where neurodivergent young adults and teens mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects and advocacy work. The rebrand reflects what they actually do: build an alliance of humans across the neurodivergent spectrum who know how to tell their full stories, vulnerabilities and superpowers included."ADHD Curious": Jesse's term for showing up to his first summit without a formal diagnosis but knowing something was going on. He was literally exploring his own brain to figure out if neurodivergence explained his life.Masking: Hiding or suppressing your natural neurodivergent behaviors to fit neurotypical expectations. Isabelle talks about being hyper-aware she's masking on stage but also being able to fidget and move in ways that feel freeing instead of shameful.The "SHAPE" Framework: An acrostic Jesse uses for career alignmentS = Superpowers (what you're naturally great at)H = Heart (what motivates you)A = Abilities (what you can actually do)P = Personality (how you show up in the world)E = Experiences (what you bring from your journey)Job vs. Career vs. Calling: Jesse breaks it down: a job pays the bills, a career is something you're invested in growing long-term, and a calling is something bigger than you (something you feel pulled toward whether you like it or not).Metacognitive Skills: The ability to think about your own thinking (understanding how your brain works, what you need, and how you learn best). The ND Alliance teaches kids to get really good at talking about their learning styles instead of hiding them.-------

Ever wonder why seeing another neurodivergent person succeed can literally change your life? This week, David and Isabelle bring you the second half of their conversation with Jesse Sanchez, Executive Director of the Neurodiversity Alliance, and it goes deep. They're talking about the kind of mentorship that doesn't happen in an office—it happens in moments of "wait, you do that too?" They also get brutally honest about why neurodivergence isn't just a rich kid's diagnosis, it's an intergenerational survival story that intersects with race, class, incarceration, and educational access in ways we desperately need to talk about.Missed Part 1 of this conversation? Catch up here.Jesse shares his own story: growing up with a single mom who left home at nine, a father in federal prison, navigating the world as a first-gen, low-income, multiracial kid—and how none of the incredible educational access programs he benefited from ever addressed the neurodivergent piece. David drops the "glasses metaphor" that'll make you rethink everything. And Isabelle connects the dots between pulling all-nighters, calling it a moral failing, and why our school system was literally designed to create worker bees during the Industrial Revolution (spoiler: neurodivergent brains were never meant to fit that mold).If you've ever felt like an imposter for doing things differently, this episode is your permission slip to stop hiding!Here's what's coming your way:Why real mentorship is exposure to a reality you didn't know existed—not instructions on how to succeedHow seeing a successful neurodivergent person changes the way you view yourself (and why that matters more than any advice)The intersectionality we're not talking about: neurodivergence, unemployment, incarceration, economic insecurity, and social justiceJesse's powerful story of intergenerational neurodivergence and why he's bringing neuro-inclusive practices to NYC public schoolsWhy your all-nighters aren't a character flaw—they're an accommodation (and how that reframe changes everything)The glasses metaphor: imagine never getting glasses until your 30s. That's undiagnosed ADHD.What Jesse would tell his 5-year-old self entering the school system (grab tissues for this one)-------Wait—What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Mentorship (the real kind): Not lectures about success—it's living life together and taking the behaviors you like while leaving the rest. It's "try my biscuits and gravy" energy. Exposing someone to a reality they didn't have before.Normalization: Making something feel normal by seeing it modeled by others. When you see another neurodivergent person succeed while doing things differently, it normalizes your own approach and reduces shame.Moral Failing: The story undiagnosed neurodivergent people tell themselves: "I pull all-nighters because I'm lazy/broken/bad"—instead of recognizing it as an accommodation for how your brain works.Accommodation: A strategy that helps you work with your brain instead of against it. Pulling an all-nighter isn't cheating—it's an accommodation. Just like glasses.Intergenerational Neurodivergence: ADHD and other neurodivergent traits often run in families. Jesse talks about his mom's undiagnosed ADHD and how neurodivergence intersects with intergenerational trauma and survival.Intersectionality: How different identities (race, class, neurodivergence) overlap and create unique experiences. Jesse emphasizes how neurodivergence intersects with being low-income, first-gen, Latino—and how that's overlooked in social justice work.Social Capital: The networks and resources you access through community. The neurodivergent community shares social capital—connecting first-gen students with Ivy League students, leveling the playing field.The School System's Origins: Our current education system was designed during the Industrial Revolution to create efficient worker bees for factories. Everything from the bells to the desks to the subjects was built for output and performance—not for neurodivergent brains. Learn more about the factory model of education: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factory_model_school-------

Ever notice how ADHD makes you crave chaos...until the chaos actually arrives and your brain completely shorts out? This week, co-host Isabelle Richards is living that paradox in real time. We're dropping this episode on Friday instead of our usual every-other-Wednesday schedule because Nashville is currently frozen solid and Isabelle is flying solo, recording from her phone in her kids' bedroom during a 6-day power outage and ice storm. She gets brutally honest about the ADHD crisis cycle: the superhuman first 48 hours, the inevitable crash that follows, and why—even after all the work, all the podcasting, all the self-compassion practice—her first instinct is still to absolutely destroy herself on the inside.If you've ever felt like a superhero one day and a deflated balloon the next, this one's for you. Isabelle shares the reframe that changed everything: what if your scattered brain isn't broken—it's actually trying to protect you? And here's the twist: the thing that pulled her out of the spiral was recording this very episode. Sometimes serving others is how we save ourselves.Here's what's coming your way:Why ADHD brains can be superhuman in the first 24-48 hours of chaos (and why the crash is inevitable)What happens to your inner critic when you lose your feedback loops—and why it gets so viciousHow to recognize when your brain is begging you to stop asking it to do too much (before you completely crash)Why hating routine while desperately needing it is the most brutal ADHD paradoxThe one tiny shift that can pull you out of the spiral when everything feels impossible-------Wait—What's That? Here are some of the terms mentioned in this episode explained:Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurospicy: ADHD/neurodivergent community slang for having a brain that works differently. A playful, lighter way to say neurodivergent—because sometimes you need to be able to laugh at your beautiful, chaotic brain.Break in Routine: When your daily structure gets disrupted and suddenly you realize you were using that routine to survive all along. For ADHD brains, losing structure can be destabilizing even when you thought you hated having it in the first place.Paradox: The ADHD experience of hating routine while absolutely needing it to function. You resist structure until it's gone, and then everything falls apart—which is exactly what makes it so brutal.Feedback Loop: External validation or confirmation that helps you know you're on the right track. Without it, ADHD brains often default to the harshest possible self-judgment—like "you've made the worst decision" even when you probably made a fine decision.Deflated Balloon: The crash that comes after days of crisis mode. The superhuman energy is gone, you can't finish sentences, and everything feels impossible. It's the inevitable comedown after running on pure adrenaline.Mushy: When your brain feels foggy, slow, and unable to process normally. Not broken—just begging you to stop asking it to do too much. Sometimes mushy is your brain's way of protecting you.Bobby: Isabelle's husband and co-producer of the podcast. When she mentions he suggested recording this episode, it's part of why you're hearing this raw, real-time account of ADHD in crisis—the kind of messy, honest moment that might help you feel less alone in your own chaos.-------

Ever felt like you were doing everything "wrong" compared to everyone around you...like, thinking back to college, why did studying take you five environment changes and an all-nighter when your roommate just sat there and did it? If so, then this one's for you!Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance, joins hosts Isabelle Richards and David Kessler to talk about his journey from "wait, am I broken?" confusion in college to leading a national movement that's literally changing (and saving) lives through peer mentorship and community. And yes, we have the data to back that up.Jesse gets incredibly real about what it was like to need accommodations for years without anyone explaining why, and how finding other neurodivergent people who just got it completely transformed the way he saw himself.  They also get into what it actually looks like to unmask and take care of yourself in professional settings—like when Jesse collapsed on a couch between high-stakes donor meetings at the Neurodiversity Leadership Summit with Isabelle and David there. It was beautiful:) And why that kind of authentic nervous system regulation isn't weakness—it's literally the accommodation your body needs.Here's what's coming your way:Jesse's origin story with the Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye) and why peer mentorship is so powerfulThe actual published research showing how mentorship protects neurodivergent middle schoolers from depression and boosts self-esteem (statistically significant, baby!)Why lying down with your feet up is one of the best nervous system hacks—and the full parasympathetic nerd-out on why it worksHow finding your people can fundamentally shift your identity from "I'm broken" to "I'm just wired different—and that's actually amazing"Go to TheNDAlliance.org to explore student chapters, scholarships, paid internships, and leadership opportunities for neurodivergent students across the U.S.-------Wait—What's That? Here are some of the terms mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): A national student-led organization creating clubs on middle school, high school, and college campuses where neurodivergent students mentor younger students, build community, and flex their leadership skills.Neurodiversity Leadership Summit: An annual gathering where neurodivergent students, leaders, and advocates come together to learn, connect, and celebrate neurodiversity. This is where Jesse melted on the couch and we all fell a little more in love with authentic self-care.Parasympathetic Nervous System (Rest and Digest): The part of your nervous system that helps you calm down and recover after being activated. Isabelle breaks down how lying with your feet up literally forces blood back to your internal organs and tells your body "hey, no tiger here!"Fight, Flight, or Freeze: Your body's automatic stress response that sends blood to your extremities so you can run or fight. When you're chronically activated (hello, masking all day), you need help switching back to rest mode.Vagus Nerve: A major nerve running from your brain to your gut that plays a huge role in calming your nervous system. Certain positions (like lying down) stimulate it and help you regulate. Science is cool.Disability Accommodations: Adjustments like extra time, quiet spaces, or flexible deadlines that level the playing field. Jesse talks about how reframing these from "crutch" to "right" was life-changing.Positive Identity Development: A core focus of the Neurodiversity Alliance's work—helping students integrate their neurodivergence into their identity in a way that feels empowering, not shameful.Statistical Significance: Research-speak for "this didn't happen by accident." Jesse shares data showing mentored students had significantly lower depression and higher self-esteem compared to non-mentored students. The protective effect against depression? Huge.-------

If you've ever tried to start something simple—doing the dishes, sending the email, getting out the door—and still somehow couldn't make it happen, this episode is for you.Russ Jones is back with Isabelle and David to go deeper into what actually works when ADHD makes even the smallest task feel impossible. You can go back and listen to part one of their conversation here. Russ, ADHD wellness coach and creator of ADHD Big Brother, gets candid about his own patterns and tools—and how even with all his knowledge and experience, he still gets stuck sometimes. But instead of spiraling into shame or "just try harder" mode, this episode is about finding your way back to momentum without beating yourself up.Here's what's coming your way:How to use behavioral momentum to get moving again—by starting small and stacking tiny winsWhy body doubling isn't just helpful—it's a core support strategy (especially on the hard days)The exact self-check-in Russ uses to stay consistent without self-blame—and how you can try it tooDavid also unpacks why these tools work from a neuroscience perspective, Isabelle shares her own struggles with task initiation, and the group unpacks how perfectionism can sneak in and sabotage even our best intentions!Want to try Russ's method? He shares a free downloadable guide called Ready, Set, Go! to help you start with the smallest possible step. You can get it by signing up for his newsletter at adhdbigbrother.com. You can also check out the ADHD Big Brother Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.--------Wait—What's That? Here are some of the terms mentioned in this episode you might want a quick refresher on:CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): A structured approach that helps identify and reframe unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. Russ talks about using CBT to take shame out of the equation and break tasks down into achievable steps.ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): A therapy modality that encourages accepting uncomfortable thoughts without judgment and taking action based on values. David and Isabelle briefly reference it while discussing internal self-talk.Behavioral Momentum: A strategy where doing one small task can help you build enough mental energy to do the next one. Key concept discussed by Russ when he shares how to stack tiny wins.Body Doubling: A method where simply doing a task alongside someone else (virtually or in person) helps increase focus and follow-through. Russ talks about this as a game-changing tool for him and his community.Compassionate Check-Ins: A self-inquiry tool Russ uses regularly—quick moments to assess what's working and what's not, without self-judgment.Russell Barkley: A prominent clinical psychologist known for his research on ADHD, mentioned by Isabelle while discussing the neurological underpinnings of executive dysfunction.Coaching vs. Therapy: Russ clarifies that he's a coach, not a therapist—he works from lived experience and ADHD-specific tools to help people build structure and momentum.--------

Check out the collection of fidgets Team Shiny loves! You know what to do. You've made the list, downloaded the app, maybe even set a timer. But when it's time to actually do the thing, your brain shuts down. And instead of momentum, you get a wall of shame.In this episode of Something Shiny: ADHD, David and Isabelle are joined by Russ Jones, creator of ADHD Big Brother, wellness coach, and no-BS accountability pro. Russ brings a unique humor and honesty to one of the hardest parts of living with ADHD—knowing what to do but still not being able to do it.This conversation dives into:The motivation myth (and what actually helps ADHD brains move)Why “just try harder” never worksThe role of accountability—especially when it's designed for youHow shame becomes invisible architecture in your daily lifeThe shift that happens when someone believes in your ability to changeRuss isn't here to hand out hacks—he's here to name what's real, what's hard, and what might help. Because sometimes the most useful tool is someone showing you that you're not broken, you've just been using the wrong blueprint.Want more from Russ? Visit ADHDBigBrother.com and check out the ADHD Big Brother Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

In this episode, we'll decode the often misunderstood hyperactive mind— it's not just about being physically energetic but also having a mind that's always on the go. This is one reason why the H part of the ADHD diagnosis is often confusing to some. I also share my personal journey with ADHD— from my late diagnosis at 42 to navigating it all alongside my four amazing boys, who also experience ADHD.

Check out the collection of fidgets Team Shiny loves! You know that moment when you're doing something hard, painful, or just plain exhausting, and a tiny voice whispers, "Why is this so hard for me?" You're not alone and in this episode we'll break down where that comes from and how to escape the shame spiral.We're joined again by therapist Grace Gautier, a trans woman who works closely with trans and neurodivergent communities. Last week the group cracked open the shame so many of us carry about being “too much” or “not enough” and began to see those traits not as flaws, but as survival strategies. If you haven't heard that one yet, listen here. It's a grounding prequel to this one—especially if you've ever felt like you had to earn your way into belonging. This episode follows that path even deeper! Because once you name the systems that shaped you, the question becomes: now what?It's a conversation about internalized ableism, pushing through pain to prove worth, and the quiet (and sometimes loud) practice of unmasking. Not everywhere. Not all at once. Just somewhere. Together, they unpack:Why we equate doing hard things with being good enoughHow ableism hides in everyday pressure and perfectionismWhat it looks like to stop chasing ease and start honoring honestyThe quiet power of choosing to show up as yourselfIf you've ever felt stuck over performing while quietly falling apart, this conversation might be a the paradigm shift you need.

Check out the collection of fidgets Team Shiny loves! There's a particular kind of tired that seeps past your muscles—it settles in your body memory. The kind that comes from years spent reshaping yourself around other people's comfort. If you've ever been told your joy was too big, your voice too loud, your questions too many—this conversation might feel like exhaling.In this episode of Something Shiny: ADHD, therapist Grace Gautier joins Isabelle Richards and David Kessler for a deeply human conversation about what it means to hide your corners to stay connected. Grace, a trans woman who works closely with trans and neurodivergent communities, puts language to something so many of us have felt but couldn't name: carceral logic—that cultural instinct to isolate or correct those who struggle, instead of shifting the environment to support them.We talk about what happens when systems teach us to monitor ourselves before anyone else can. How masking gets confused for maturity. How survival strategies get mislabeled as flaws. And why returning to connection—not perfection—is the real work of healing.We explore:The overlap between neurodivergent and trans lived experiencesWhy we learn to tuck away the most beautiful, vital parts of ourselvesThe difference between being managed and being metHow community becomes the repairDavid brings in the metaphor of the uncarved block—this tender image of a version of you untouched by the sanding-down of social expectation. Grace recognizes herself immediately. She traces how her sensory overwhelm, emotional intensity, and clutter-as-memory weren't signs of dysfunction—they were adaptations. Signals. Ways of being.Grace also shares the ache of her father's deportation and the clarity that arrived when she was finally diagnosed with ADHD later in life. Suddenly, things made sense. She didn't need to try harder—she needed support that didn't punish her nervous system.By the end of this conversation, you'll realize the parts you were taught to hide were actually never flaws to fix, but rather truths you were carrying alone. What shifts when you stop mistaking survival for failure? What changes when you see your ADHD traits not as obstacles, but as signals? Maybe, for the first time, things make sense. And maybe that sense brings a kind of peace you didn't know you were allowed to feel.

Check out the collection of fidgets Team Shiny loves! We gotta be able to handle hearing people talk about us, even when it's triggering and hard, because it can ultimately show us where the work is. And maybe you can be an expert on soething without having it yourself (like ADHD) but perhaps it requires a sense of curiosity, empathy, or some kind of introspection that recpognizes your lane, your scope, and your own biases? From anthropology and sociology to X-Men and who is Magneto and Charles Xavier, David and Isabelle meander through what it means to be an ally and also set up some solid recent hyperfixations.---We gotta tolerate hearing people talking about what they think about us, including people who have lots of degrees and expertise, and also know that each person doesn't have the answers. Maybe it has to do with conversations that people have about us without us ADHDers? Then again there are journalists, who don't have expertise but who can report on the data they get. David names that there are good and bad journalists, and there is critical thinking. How much about people's ADHD ‘expertise' includes interpersonal work and understanding about attachment, relationships, your own identity. Like, if you're an expert on ADHD and you're not friends with people who have ADHD outside of your work (if you yourself don't have it)—something to look at? David names that as therapists, we have this debate about multicultural approaches—do you need to have a white therapist to work with white clients, a Black therapist to work with Black therapists? You need to know your lane and your expertise. David's own therapist is not an expert in ADHD. And neither is Isabelle's. They know to ask us questions, can ask “how does this relate to ADHD?” We might be the person with ADHD that helps them better understand that. Allies don't want to get rid of parts of you, they want to help parts of you. An ally is different than a researcher, Isabelle wants to name that you need to be enough of an ally to a topic and be curious. In undergrad, she studied anthropology and archaeology, and it's a blend of super specific science and also lots of educated guessing. She remembers learning about participant observation in anthropology, that just by observing a culture or a group you are impacting the group. It's way more about noticing what your own biases are. David's own background in sociology, the idea of intersectionality. David didn't really think about ADHD or neurodiversity as a culture until college. He's a big comic book fan and he loved the X-Men. They're trying to hide their mutant powers to not be exploited by the government and the X-Men are trying to help these mutants and take them to saving. Charles Xavier and Magneto were portrayed to be iconic people. Magneto was Malcolm X while Charles Xavier was based on Martin Luther King, Jr. It's two different portrayals around protecting yourself—do you get violent and active or passive? Maybe the mutants are a great metaphor for neurodiversity as well as the civil rights war—if you have been marginalized you can have empathy toward other people who are marginalized. It's not so personal, people do things to us that they do to other marginalized groups. It can also signify that we have a culture. It would be if everyone says they have a pile of unfolded clothes that threaten your identity, your pile of mail—-culturally both David and Isabelle are both connected to the plan that they didn't want to leave it there. When we connect about parts of our culture. Isabelle and David so appreciate this conversation. Isabelle names asynchronous processing—she can't just off the cuff rattle off her ideas and also needs time to talk it out, externalize, and think about things beyond the initial moment or conversations. How important it is for us to keep having these conversations. Isabelle wonders if David is like Charles Xavier. He wishes he could be Charles Xavier. Isabelle might be Charles Xavier. Because maybe she loves or identifies with Patrick Stewart so much. So maybe David is Magneto—in the comic books they were best friends, and he was like “they'll never learn, we need to protect our people” whereas as the other is like “don't give in to our aggressive urges.” David needs to shout out: Dungeon Crawler Carl. Not wearing any pants, the cat jumps out of his house trying to get the cat out of the tree, and Carl can then go on an 18 level dungeon crawl and can save the planet earth. The audio book is a treasure, David is a big fan of role playing games, he consumed all seven books in less than three weeks. Isabelle names why cats get stuck in trees, their claws go the other way so they get stuck—but big cats can go backwards. Isabelle mentions an enneagram book that she really appreciates. She was hooked on Borders and loved it as a kid and would keep trying to have someone explain me to me, and one of those books was on the enneagram (which makes David feel like he went to the bathroom during learning fractions and never picked up on it). And she mispronounced it and would read the book at people. Because tell her she's neurospicy without telling her she's neurospicy.Stephanie Sarkis is an ADHD expert who also has ADHD  X-Men and more on Patrick StewartThe American Psychological Association vote on 'homosexuality' being listed as a diagnosable mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) happened back in the LATE 80's (WHAAAATTTTT? yes).--there is a long history to depathologizing sexual identities, deeply impacted by tons of activism and advocacy. For more, you can see this NIH article on this history.Dungeon Crawler Carl seriesCats getting stuck on trees because of claw shape -- fascinatingly, going down backwards is a skill some cats can learn. Also, here is this website: Catrescueguy.com. *(you're welcome)*The amazing enneagram book Isabelle was trying to remember the title of -- The Unfiltered Enneagram by Elizabeth Orr------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards Here's a nifty little promo code for those who either delayed gratification or who let this episode run through to the end because they were busy vacuuming.

Here's 2 hard truths: working yourself into the ground isn't proof you've “made it.”Hesitating on the things that matter isn't protecting you—it's writing "I don't trust myself" in your fields. Your manifestation field reflects exactly what you're sending out—hesitation included.In this episode, I break down:Why overdoing actually holds you back from the wealth, success, and freedom you're chasing.Why hesitation is secretly sabotaging your momentum (even if it feels safe).How to find the sweet spot where you're productive, soul-aligned, and not running on burnout energy.I share exactly how I went from hyperactive "I'm working a lot but I love the work!!!" to working smarter, living more, and actually enjoying the success I built—without sacrificing my energy, my time, or my joy. This isn't theory. This is what actually works when you're ready to get out of the hamster wheel. (Real-life strategies included).RESOURCES:SHE'S A GENIUS HYPNOSISKatelin's IGIT GIRL PREP

What can you say about the great Thomas Dolby that hasn't already been said? We know about the hits (like "Science" and "Hyperactive"), we know about the innovation and the tech businesses he's started, and we know about Live Aid. In this conversation we set out to fill in some of the gaps like how did he get Jerry Garcia and Eddie Van Halen to play guitar with him? Did he ever meet Prince, who he is so similar to creatively? We know Howard the Duck didn't work, but what about his incredible soundtrack? What happened when he produced Joni Mitchell? It might be a slightly different conversation than you're used to. All of this is to promote his North American tour which kicks off on the east coast this week. Hope you enjoy hearing from the master!  ThomasDolby.com The Hustle Podcast | creating podcasts | Patreon  

Ron Souers is a strength coach, podcast host of "Don't Mind Me, I Just Have ADHD!", and fierce mental health advocate helping adults—especially men over 40—who are navigating ADHD, depression, addiction, and social isolation to reclaim their voice and reconnect with purpose. After decades of masking, burnout, and reevaluating is approach through self-acceptance, he's transformed his experience and professional training into a transformative coaching program rooted in Mindfulness-Based Strengths Practice (MBSP), prosocial behavior, and what he calls "fierce kindness." For more information, visit yourADHDguy.com.

Here's a puzzle that will stop you cold: ADHD has exploded into public consciousness. More diagnoses than ever. More research. More conversations. And yet? Turn on your television. What stares back at you?The class clown. The scatterbrained sidekick. The walking punchline.Something doesn't add up.This disconnect—between lived reality and screen reality—forms the heart of this week's conversation with Matthew Fox, whose passion for dissecting genre media runs as deep as his own neurodivergent experience. Fox hosts Superhero Ethics and other podcasts that examine the ethics woven through our most beloved stories. But today, they're hunting bigger game.Consider this: Maria von Trapp. "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Sound familiar? Fox argues she's ADHD incarnate. Flighty. Unpredictable. Out of focus. The nuns can't pin her down. Neither can we, apparently. Because nobody—not once—uses the words.That's the pattern. Characters burst with hyperactivity, impulsivity, attention challenges. Dennis the Menace in the '50s. Tigger bouncing through the Hundred Acre Wood. Calvin racing after imaginary adventures. All ADHD-coded. None explicitly labeled.Why does this matter? Because children search desperately for themselves in stories. Adults do too, though less consciously. When representation gets frozen in stereotype—or worse, buried in subtext—it shapes how teachers see students, how employers evaluate talent, how we see ourselves.The conversation zigzags through terrain both familiar and startling. Percy Jackson, where ADHD becomes a god-given power. Phil Dunphy, the endearing but scattered dad. Jake Peralta solving crimes through controlled chaos. Then the darker territory: Barney Stinson using ADHD as an excuse for predatory behavior.But here's where it gets interesting. Fox notices something that escaped everyone else: the gender patterns. Hyperactive male character? Meet his organized, grounding female partner. It's everywhere once you see it. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Modern Family. New Girl. The narrative is always the same—love of a steady woman tames the chaotic man.And buried within all of this lies a more uncomfortable truth. In our hunger to see ourselves on screen, we claim characters who were never intended as representation. We read ADHD into Kirk and Spock, into Hiccup and his dragon, into anyone who shows even a glimmer of recognition.Is that enough? Should it be?Whether you're searching for positive examples for your children or trying to untangle how decades of media have shaped your own relationship with neurodivergence, this conversation might just shift how you watch ... everything.Links & NotesShows and MoviesModern Family - Phil Dunphy as ADHD-coded characterBrooklyn Nine-Nine - Jake Peralta as positive ADHD representationHow I Met Your Mother - Barney Stinson as problematic ADHD portrayalNew Girl - Nick and Jess relationship dynamicThe Simpsons - Bart Simpson and Ritalin episode (2000)Community - Abed Nadir as autism-coded characterParenthood (TV series) - Autism representationArrow - Felicity Smoak as ADHD-coded characterK-pop Demon Hunter - Zoe as positive ADHD representationThe Sound of Music - Maria von Trapp as ADHD-codedFinding Nemo/Finding Dory - Dory as ADHD representationHow to Train Your Dragon - Hiccup as ADHD-codedBooks and CharactersPercy Jackson series by Rick Riordan - ADHD as demigod traitCalvin and Hobbes - Calvin as ADHD-codedDennis the Menace - Classic hyperactive representationWinnie the Pooh characters as neurodivergent representationPodcasts by Matthew FoxThe Ethical PandaSuperhero EthicsStar Wars GenerationsMarvel Movie Minute (co-hosted with Pete Wright)The Once and Future Parent(Coming soon!)Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:22) - Support the Show and Become a Patron! (01:58) - The ADHD Representation Paradox (02:48) - Introducing Matthew Fox ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Check out the collection of fidgets Team Shiny loves! Is the 'overdiagnosing' of ADHD, autism, and other neurodevelopmental conditions a 'danger,' and to whom? Isabelle and David continue taking some common myths and misperceptions, questioning who and how we gatekeep 'neurodiversity' (including the idea that maybe there really is no 'neurotypical')--and how one group's fears that these labels harm us cannot negate the fear neurospicy folks have that they will be in trouble, or judged, or stigmatized for being who they are and unmasking. Also using the power of compassion and inviting more conversations, while not jumping to cancelling anyone--because everyone gets to fart in an elevator once or twice. -----Isabelle is coming in hot. She continues to explore her reaction to a podcast episode she listened to recently, Armchair Expert with guest Suzanne O'Sullivan on overdiagnosis, which went from covering seizure disorders to ADHD and autism, especially high-masking autism, real quick.  She is so frustrated that a non-expert on ADHD—someone like O'Sullivan, whose expertise is working with epilepsy and seizure disorders, has now spent so much time talking about ADHD and autism when that is not an area of expertise. David names that he thinks this is an important conversation to have, because we are validating the other perspectives. There is a medical model of disease sets us up to want to oppose or eradicate the ‘disease;' where things like neurodevelopment conditions like ADHD and autism are not something to be ‘cured' or ‘fixed.” David makes the comparison, its like a bunch of people sitting and talking about going to Mexico when no one has ever been there—cultural representation. For example, someone has mild amounts of anxiety throughout the day. They understand this anxiety as having ADHD. They use ADHD interventions to help them and they found a community, and it makes sense and they feel better, it works for them. And then someone comes up with a reason to say that person does not have ADHD, that this definition does not apply—why are we being so careful when it comes to gatekeeping diversity, including neurodiversity?  This wonderful person that David met at a training, named Shay, asked: is there anyone that is neurotypical? We could think of the difference between traits and states. And then he thought about personal examples. He doesn't know if there is someone "neurotypical." Would it to be less shocking that people have different neurological needs or educational differences if we recognized that there may be no 'one' baseline or group to compare everything to? And how quickly we dismiss difference--like knowing that because David listened to books, the argument that what he did was not 'reading'--but we get back to actual question, which is...what was the task, and did it get done?  Often, talking about the fantasy of how ADHD looks or how its supposed to be, it's more about other people. A lot of people with ADHD believe that if its easy for them, they're cheating. Because its supposed to be hard. Do most non-ADHD people think that way?  The debates are now that anxiety, bipolar disorder, OCD—these are neurological differences—they are also looking at causal factors to all these conditions that are not chosen. So is the only person who is ‘normal' the person who has no feelings, reactions, or responses?  Someone who has no big responses to stimuli, someone who is antisocial? Isabelle does fall into the categorizing and black and white thinking, and how its a part of learning, to categorize and generalize. This is not dissimilar to how people talk about race, gender, and about culturally defined parts of experiences because we collectively make them a thing—maybe its myth making and collective storytelling. There is a gravitational pull to the idea of being neurotypical or mentally ‘well' and then there's good and bad. Isabelle wonders where the compassion goes? David speaks up—they have compassion. People are scared. People are scared and when we're scared, we have a reflexive reactions. People have found safety or comfort in the label of ‘normal' or ‘neurotypical,' and they see difference as not good, and they're really trying to, in their mind, help people in their messaging. Terror management theory: when you're scared, you find a group of people who are like you and you band together to be less scared. So, there are a chunk of people out there who are getting very specific about who is in or out of the group.  David can have a lot of compassion for that fear, that fear about who gets to belong. But he also wants to speak to the neurodivergent person who is doing something you tell them will help—and it hurts them? It's a real fear we carry. David uses the example of his mom—bless her heart (see the Southern US use of this phrase on many levels below)—who grew up being told the importance of having arch support in shoes, and so when David had flat feet, she had him use these inserts—David is not blaming his mom, she did the best she could—lots of people are told not to touch things, don't go into the light. Every neurodivergent person has to have the fear “I'm doing this wrong, I'm in trouble, I'm doing something bad!” To little David: you know, you have flat feet, you have more stability around corners—but another voice would say “don't tell anyone you have flat feet, it's bad.” He has compassion for the fear people have that want everyone to be the same, to not stand out or be different, and there is also a fear that neurodivergent people sit with every day about whether or not they're allowed to act the way they act. Isabelle names that the podcasters were saying “oh, these diagnoses are an excuse to then act in ways that are socially awkward.” Ahem. Isabelle describes how this feels like when she describes her inner workings to someone in all the steps she takes when she sits down next to someone, wondering if this is the right physical distance, is she staring at their eyebrows too long, is she pausing appropriately, etc.—and when she unmasks and reveals this, the person considers it a compliment to say “I couldn't tell.” It's the idea that someone outside of you knows more about your experience than you do. The way that diagnoses connect to power and gatekeeping for services and Isabelle makes the point that those who are saying “over diagnosis is dangerous”—to whom? On what planet are folks who are neurospicy getting enough of the supports and services and resources and access that they need? The system is already failing most of us. David names: this isn't cancer, this isn't people getting chemo erroneously. There is no danger in identification, it's about getting our needs met. What do we do as a society to neglected people, and the more you know about your needs, the less of a danger being neglected becomes. This is a question of someone who knows a lot about things wandered over into another area and made bold statements without the expertise. Isabelle was extra miffed that she also dismissed the intersections of Autism, ADHD, POTS, hyper mobile Ehlers Danlos, and MCAS and ‘nonexistent' —so damaging and harmful. These are real things, the interconnectedness of them is being actively researched, just because you are new to the party does not make something false or untrue. As David puts it, in the 70's or 80's, the APA took a vote to decide if being gay was good or bad, essentially (“do we keep gayness as a disorder?” Yes folks, this was that recently. GAH.). Now imagine someone was asleep for ten years and missed that memo and is now walking around looking at pride flags wondering “why are there so man...

Philosopher and author Dr. Kay Toombs joins Ginny to name the thing so many parents feel but can't quite describe—a hyperactive worldview that trains us (and our kids) to crave instant results and reject slow, quiet, real life. Drawing on her brilliantly researched book, Changing Our Minds (get the book), and decades living in an intergenerational, agrarian community, Kay explains how always-on tech reshapes attention, dulls imagination, and erodes empathy, while crafts and time outdoors rebuild patience the old-fashioned way. From the contagious joy of teens knitting their first headbands to kids discovering where dinner actually comes from, this conversation makes a compelling case for trading dopamine-on-demand for the deep satisfaction of making, tending, and waiting. It's also a practical playbook for families on the edge of burnout. Kay and Ginny outline how to replace screens with compelling alternatives, form a small tribe of like-minded families, and trust kids with real responsibility—steps that restore attention, confidence, and connection. If your home feels like it's speeding up while patience is wearing thin, start here: explore resources at 1000 Hours Outside, then queue the episode and share it with a friend (listen on Apple Podcasts or listen on Spotify). This is a hopeful, hands-on roadmap for resisting hurry and raising children who can notice, wait, wonder, and love well. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's revisit a bunch of neurodivergent folx reminiscing about what it was like growing up (and being diagnosed with) ADHD in the 90's. Featuring some real gems about accommodations for reading, what hyperfocus can feel like, and stuff about Richard Dreyfuss. ----Isabelle & David welcome Isabelle's husband, Bobby, and David's childhood friend, Ashley, who both also have ADHD. Ashley shares that she was diagnosed with ADHD back in '94 when understanding of ADHD was still in its early days and accommodations like audio books and extended time for test taking were new(er). The group describes what reading looks like, including eye tracking issues connected to ADHD—and the levels of accommodations they each use, including highlighters, white noise, audiobooks, etc. One way of handling a breakup is to mouth the words to the song that's playing while you're being dumped. Other accommodations to encourage hyperfocus on reading also include listening to older instrumental music, and matching beats per minute to the task you're doing. The advantages of continuous play on music platforms (like Spotify, not a sponsor) and the rabbit holes you can get lost in. Bobby's tangent on a gem of a comedy album (see below). The group also discusses other labels that you can gather along the way with ADHD; David was labelled as having behavior problems, skipping class, acting out. Bobby experienced the world as Ferris Buehler and his response to being bullied was to work the system to get the bullies to leave you alone. How impulsivity can help you work the system or leave you hanging. The idea of either not trying to make waves or making waves when none are around. The message David got was that there was something wrong with him. The white privilege of an ADHD diagnosis, as opposed to being labeled oppositional defiant. Name of Bobby's find (click for a link to a youtube video): I Wanna Meet Richard Dreyfuss by Gabriel GundackerEye tracking issues (related to ADHD): Typical issues that can impair reading are related to either impulsively (jumping to a wrong line) or attention issues related to thinking about off topic things while reading. Click here for more.DAVID'S DEFINITIONS:IMPOSTER SYNDROME is the belief you don't belong/are bad, or that you have to be perfect on the outside along with the fear you will be found out/exposed and people will know you're a mess on the inside. OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT (Disorder, AKA ODD) is a clinical diagnosis that is applied to children marked by intentional acts of disobedience, and conflicts with authority. This diagnosis is much different than a diagnosis of ADHD, although some parts of ADHD can be oppositional in nature, they are not truly rooted in fighting Authority, as much as the rooted in finding agency. For example, a person with ADHD may find themselves fighting an authority figure because they took a candy bar they were eating and want the candy bar back. A person with ODD would fighting the authority figure because they were an authority figure, forgetting about the candy bar.RESPONSE COST is understanding the consequences of our actions, later down the road.-------cover art by: Sol Vázqueztechnical support by: Bobby Richards

July? July?? JULY??? Already? Well we better get to it - some sizzling hot tunes to burn to. Track List:1) Girl U Want - Devo 2) Dancing In Berlin (Remix) - Berlin 3) Telephone Operator (Unofficial Remix) - Pete Shelly 4) Pretty Boys And Girls Tubular Bells (12" Extended Mix) - Book Of Love 5) Sailing On the Seven Seas (Larabee Mix) - OMD 6) I Want That Man (12" Mix) - Deborah Harry 7) Hyperactive! (12" Version) - Thomas Dolby 8) And Then The Cops Came - Surf Punks 9) It's A Mugs Game - Soft Cell 10)The Living Daylights - A-Ha 11) Painted Moon - The Silencers 12) Transfer Affection - A Flock Of Seagulls 13) Never Rend - Last Grasp14) Mexican Radio - Wall Of Voodoo 15) Steam [Oh, Oh, Let Off Steam Mix] - Peter Gabriel 16) Private Idaho [The Grid Mix] - B-52's 17) Goodnight Tonight [Long Version] - Paul McCartney and Wings

So with news articles and headlines about how folks with ADHD need to get off their meds or go outside or be 'cured', there's something of a big misunderstanding and gaps in perspectives on ADHD and what it actually means. Including our shared values as a real ADHD culture, especially around how people or authority figures will relate to us. David and Isabelle describe some of the shared values in neurodivergent or ADHD culture, including ideas around masking, disclosing, lateral thinking, and questioning authority--and whether you believe that others, particularly those in power, will help you or understand you. Exploring many aspects of the neurodivergent community--and how groups form--ADHDers (more likely than the average bear) identify as members of LGBTQ+ communities, members of nontraditional or non-dominant faith groups, entrepreneurs, tech-friendly folx, and members of the military, to start. From recognizing that there are stages and phases to feeling like you can both belong and be unique, to the power of community in developing a sense of self-esteem, the need to have metacognition (or an understanding of WHY a thing is or how it works for you). --David starts by naming that within a neurodivergent or ADHD culture, there are shared values. And what we believe might be impacted by our approach to masking and our context—did we have to mask a lot? Do we need masking or not? But it also asks us: do we believe that people will help us? That schools will help us? That people with power or systemic power will support us or understand us?  David doesn't think that trust in these systems is high in the ADHD population. A lot of people don't feel like they can trust the system and it might be why we don't disclose, we don't share, we don't ask. We are a subgroup, but we are not substandard. Lots of wars being waged on ADHD, and that entire perspective ignores the things that are important. Since David joined Eye to Eye years ago and joined the ND community, he watched graduation rates go up, he'd give talks in a room and ask “who has adhd?” And no one would raise their hand. “Does it feel wrong to be asked?” And now when you talk about it in a group, people raise their hands right away. There is the good work. There is a cultural war on ADHD. Isabelle names that one of the strengths of ADHD, which is important to include in any future articles, is that we think ‘creatively,' also known as lateral or divergent thinking. We don't necessarily follow a linear thought process and skip around  think laterally or divergently. For her fellow AuDHDers, Isabelle recognizes that she does want clarity and often tries to go back to a linear though process to make sure she's understanding something clearly. But in general, the lateral thinking—lends itself to questioning authority, taking multiple perspectives, playing devil's advocate, which doesn't necessarily mean that people feel comfortable sharing this. There's a larger percentage of us that identify as queer or LGBTQ+ communities, nonbinary, gender fluid—there's also a larger percentage of us that its int he military, tech community, entrepreneurs. We tolerate risk differently. David names that this allows us a different way of recognizing our needs. If the rest of the world tells you something should meet your needs but it doesn't, you're going to maybe go back to the drawing board and start to think about things a little differently. You may be a more natural out of the box thinker, because of a lack of neural pruning. More doesn't mean better, and it doesn't mean worse. It's not a a hierarchy. Just acknowledging it exists gives people a place to belong. Isabelle describes the stages of building a group—we first debate if we want to join, we norm and create a share a set of values and create a cohesion, and then the strength of the group's cohesiveness is tested and retested with storming and questioning and then you come to the place where you are both an individual and belong, that both can coexist dynamically. Even in Isabelle's own process of joining this group of neurodivergence, when she cried at the mailboxes with David, she is feeling this with the autistic side of her, and she's seeing it everywhere and she deeply wants to belong, and then she's questioning or noticing the differences, and then she's cozy in being different and yet belonging. David names how important self esteem is for us; and we can't really develop self esteem alone, it helps you to see others who get it and can resonate with you. Three most important factors: self esteem, ability to advocate for your needs, and metacognition (understand we do what we do). You shouldn't have to try so hard to ‘fit into' a culture, it should be more natural. Isabelle names how metacognition, or changing your operating instructions, gives you a chance to reframe your own history, your present and your plans, and your needs are different than what you realized. Referencing the NYT article about ADHD meds—if you have no concept of what medication is doing for you or connecting with your medication, it's like you're fueling yourself up with a really good fuel source and you have no direction to put it in. David wants a formalized response to the NYTimes article. A formal round table. The strengths of ADHD — see Dr. Holly White's work at the University of Michigan (Scientific American article)Divergent or lateral thinking - probably most commonly called "brainstorming," it's when you generate multiple ideas, applications, solutions, problems, and hop around instead of just focusing on one answer--see this interesting guide from the University of Texas at Austin that helps teachers learn how to ENCOURAGE divergent thinking in their students.  How divergent thinking is connected to creativity (study)As well as addressing self esteem and practicing self-advocacy, work with ADHD means developing:Metacognition — thinking about your thinking, or why you do what you do. It's like understanding you've been handled incorrect or inapplicable instructions. Knowing why you need an accommodation and why it helps. It involves an awareness as well as an ability to regulate/choose a strategy (eg. changing how you study for a particular test). (source: Wikipedia).------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Isabelle and David talk 'stimming'-AKA "Self-stimulating behavior": what is this word, where does it come from, and what does it mean to 'stim'? Perhaps spoken of more in the autism community, stimming applies to ADHD also, and can connect to not just how we use sensory inputs as ballasts or balance systems, but also unique indicators of a ADHD culture of our own. David and Isabelle dig deep with some adorable sneezes, more on the ballast systems of ships, and the tail expressions of animals along the way.----David and Isabelle describe how cat and dog tails are completely different in indicating their state. David's cat was so still with just the tip of its tail bobbing back and forth, and David pointed out that that's how you can tell a cat is happy. Which is the exact opposite of how you can tell a dog is happy, with an exuberantly wagging tail. And maybe this relates a little bit to stimming, in that someone might interpret Isabelle's bouncing leg as an indication of one internal state, when actually she is stimming and feeling very calm as she does it. There could be two ADHD camps here: one for dogs, one for cats. Perhaps most ADHDers would align with dogs, as in we tend to vibrate when we're happy. David knows when he's still and quiet he is very alert and something's wrong. Isabelle's dog is currently whining at the door and she is like her dog in that she gives her all her needs and yet she has more needs? Isabelle is curious about internal stimming, like when she ruminates or revisits things in her head to self-stimulated. David talks about this as acting in or acting out, and maybe he's doing some action, or he's thinking or connecting with an internal world. Stimming is thought of as an action, that is repetitive or relieving in some way. Acting in and acting out was something David was naming 20 years ago, but now we use the term “stimming” — and it's doing something to keep your heart rate up. Isabelle did not see it used around ADHD but it does connect, but she sees it a lot around AuDHD — it comes from diagnostic origins, but the function of it is what David describes as exhaust. If his engine is running, there's going to be something going on somewhere. Slowly picking at a nail, feeling the tension of his pants, something to help him regulate his attention—like a ballast. This sends Isabelle off on a tangent about being a tween going to see “Titanic” because she was into boat architecture after seeing documentaries about the Titanic about the ships ballast getting flooded—the idea that you have these big walls that are designed to bring on some water  in order to balance the ship. Isabelle walks around with Trex arms, and it's like she is letting some of the world in and that helps her pick what's coming at her on a sensory level, because she can't really tune out the rest anyway, it's like taking in some stimulation to stay afloat. David describes how other ballasts could be biting down on leather when getting an amputation. If you give your body something to do it can distract it. While Isabelle isa bout to go on a tangent about pain theory, her dog needs to go outside, and so indeed, behavior is communication. Now David sneezes. And it's adorable. And he has to fight the reflex to not say “F you” back, because he has sneezed adorably for a long time now and his friend David C. Would always tease him and so he'd respond lovingly with an “F you!” And so he now needs to describe it all. David then segue ways to a definition of culture. Isabelle studied anthropology and archaeology in college, and remembers a professor saying that you know a culture exists when there is an in-group and an out-group and that culture is a set of adaptations to a human's environment. For example, chimpanzees, they stick a twig in a termite mound and then they eat the termites, and thinking about it archaeologically that a being used a thing to do something that nature did not use it for, so when archaeologists speak of a culture its around distinct patterns of how things were made and the area where people lived in. If we were archaeologists of the future, if we came back to earth, could we notice distinct enough artifacts that would indicate there is some difference in this group? Or we could think of it as a series of adaptations for the environments in which we find ourselves. Referencing the NYTimes article, the parts we can resonate with, ADHD is about so many more things than that. So dysregulating because it's 70% accurately, you just left out so many important details and experts and points—that thing that pains Isabelle is that this article is so long and takes so much energy to digest and is just an aspect of the book. David points out that it states that medicine has diminishing returns, because OF COURSE it doesn't mention that medication is intended to be used with therapy and of course the medication doesn't help you with the self esteem repair or accommodation strategies so in a vacuum you get diminishing returns. Isabelle is so on board and also frustrated that this is coming at a time when the world is extra scary and intense. David names that he thinks we would see signs of ADHD culture--organizing in piles, the sheer volume of fidget spinners, etc. Isabelle agrees, the material culture alone would create an interesting set of indicators that something different is happening in certain households that is unique and also in common with one another.Stimming (aka "Self-Stimulatory Behavior) -originally attributed to autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but also occurs in neurodivergent AND neurotypical or allistic (non-autistic) folks. It means repetitive physical movements, sounds, or actions that someone engages in (aka leg bouncing, finger tapping, hand flapping, twirling hair, humming, repeating words, staring, pacing, doodling, playing with fidgets, chewing gum, smelling or touching things..so many stims!).Useful for: so many things! For when your senses are overloaded or your understimulated, can help you focus and concentrate, can be a way to learn about or interact with your environment, or to cope with anxiety, stress, excitement, or big feels.Culture (Source: Oxford Language Dictionary): "the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." OR, "anthropologically, culture is defined as a complex, shared system of learned beliefs, values, behaviors, and symbols that allows a group of people to understand and interact with the world. It's a dynamic, evolving set of practices and ideas that shape a group's identity and way of life" (from sapiens.org)The notorious NY Times article ("Are we thinking about ADHD all wrong?" by Paul Tough) David and Isabelle are referencingChimpanzees eating termites like a lollipop (AKA chimps having a material culture)Ballast: YES these are compartments designed to be flooded and dispense with water to help balance a ships weight and regulate how buoyant it is in water (how it floats) (see Wikipedia definition of "Ballast Tank" for more) AND superintricate maps and explanations of the...

Why are so many women being diagnosed with ADHD later in life? What does your partner’s penis have to do with your bacterial vaginosis diagnosis? And when to worry about a lumpy boob. In this episode, psychiatrist and ADHD specialist Dr Kieran Kennedy discusses how women often experience more inattentive features of ADHD and why they may try to mask the symptoms. We also talk about time blindness, memory issues and emotional dysregulation. And is ADHD making you feel more sensitive to rejection? We discuss a condition called rejection sensitive dysphoria. Sign up to the Well Newsletter to receive your weekly dose of trusted health expertise without the medical jargon. Ask a question of our experts or share your story, feedback, or dilemma - you can send it anonymously here, email here or leave us a voice note here.THE END BITS Follow us on Instagram and Tiktok. All your health information is in the Well Hub. For more information on breast checks go to How To Check Your Breasts To find out where you can have a breast screen contact: BreastScreen Australia. Support independent women’s media by becoming a Mamamia subscriberCREDITS Hosts: Claire Murphy and Dr MariamGuest: Dr Kieran KennedySenior Producers: Claire Murphy and Sasha Tannock Audio Producers: Scott Stronach Video Producer: Julian RosarioMamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.Information discussed in Well is for education purposes only and is not intended to provide professional medical advice. Listeners should seek their own medical advice, specific to their circumstances, from their treating doctor or health care professional.Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Isabelle finishes sharing her neuropsych results, including recommendations for ADHD and autism (HINT: unmask! WHAT?) From the categorization of ADHD like a storm warning system (Mild/moderate/severe) to how job interviews might be the one place to mask (and how David does his interviews), David and Isabelle spelunk around how certain measures, like empathy, are not 'markers' of autism in the way we may think.  Share your favorite fidgets with us! Go to somethingshinypodcast.com/fidgetlove now!---Isabelle goes into greater detail about how her neuropsychological assessment was able to show her how she initiates and sustains auditory and visual attention and a little bit on processing speed. But to get more data, she'd need to undergo testing designed for people with traumatic brain injuries or strokes or dementia—what? It's a little strange to realize that the gold standard for learning more about brain functioning as a grown up with ADHD is the same that's used for brain injuries.  David points out that he uses the word neurodivergent intentionally, in order to point out that there is a diversity of brains, rather than a deficiency or something wrong with you. There are brains that work well in crisis and brains that work well when things are calm. Doesn't that make sense? Would we say that someone would be “severely apt” at handling chaos? Maybe, you just do what you're good at? Isabelle goes back to the scale of mild/moderate/severe ADHD—mild reads as boring, moderate—moderation SUCKS—all the words for the scale are poor. David names: if you can't use the words to apply to “happiness” —it's a bad scale for humans. Would you say you are ‘mildly or severely happy?” Probably not. So maybe we use different words for humans. People with ADHD are not storms and do not require storm warnings (last time we checked). As part of her neuropsychological evaluation, Isabelle got pages and pages of recommendations for next steps. She got a lot of great data, and also realized that one episode of Something Shiny provides more—so that was affirming and helpful in terms of the work the podcast and its community are doing. Her evaluator left off her autism recommendations, sending them along later, but said, essentially, the only recommendation is to unmask more. That “the only place masking is helpful is in job interviews.” Other than that it's harmful. It takes energy, it burns people out, it's hard. Isabelle then goes on to rant about how biased job interviews are, unless you're giving case examples—but then, David is also super good at job interviews. He checks—did you go to high school or college? Cool, you must be smart. Then, do you want to work with him? Check. Then, would he want to hang out with this person? Yup. And finally, a bunch of curveballs to see how people think on their feet. Because that helps you see how people think and how they communicate about their problem solving, which is good data. Then David names that there are questions he'd love to ask about people that he can't, beyond the protected class questions about age or location or self-identity—he wishes he could ask if someone is neurodivergent or if someone in their family is neurodivergent, that is an asset to David. He sees the ability to think outside the box in order to do what they do. But he knows he's not trusted, most hiring people are lying to you, employers are anxious, you're not going to like them. Every employer is terrified of rejection, it's so complicated. But he sees neurodiversity and awareness of that as a major plus—if somebody understands that and has self-esteem around it, knows what accommodations they need, they are curious about that. Isabelle has such a bias for self-insight—she wonders, how someone who was so socially off the rhythm of her peers, how was it that she had a lot of high measures for sensory things, but high measures on empathy? Which seems odd, because all of the autistic people Isabelle knows have off the charts empathy, which David concurs. Like the empathy for the crushed ant on the sidewalk. This is so true for Isabelle, she remembers crying for hours about a three-legged hamster she saw in a pet store named “Tiny Tim”—in retrospect, his paw was probably chewed off by his littermates or his mom because hamsters are ROUGH like that—but her mom told her he was okay because he was “fat”—to be fair, she was fatphobic and Polish immigrant mentality an maybe also autistic herself, but she was so distraught. She used to track one ant walking all the way to its hill to make sure it made it because she felt personally responsible for seeing that it was okay. She was so scared she'd look at it later and wonder if she wasn't autistic—but the stakes were so high, she was scared of not having the community she felt like she was on the cusp of having and understanding. As David puts it: "we will fight for worth and identity." Even more so, Isabelle learns that her own stereotype about autism meaning she is low empathy (even indicated on the 'measures' of autism on the assessments she took) is where she doesn't 'meet criteria' for autism, and how that would keep her up at night. Until her neuropsychiatrist pointed out: it has more to do with a snapshot of where you are and your accommodations. Of course someone who is in their 40's, has been high masking their whole life, and who special interests in humans AKA psychology would be high on empathy measures--she wasn't like this as a kid but it took decades for her to 'get it.' And what a revelation, that autism and empathy are not what we stereotypically assume they might be!Also, send us photos or links to your fave fidgets! We'll put 'em on our website and share the fidget love. DEFINITIONSNote: “Neuropsych” is shorthand for BOTH a neuropsychological assessment or a neuropsychologist (which is confusing).Neuropsychologist is "an expert in how brain injuries and conditions affect your behavior, mood and thinking skills. They perform neuropsychological evaluations to assess how your brain and mind are working and suggest treatment plans." (Source: Cleveland Clinic).A neuropsychological assessment is a series of interviews and tests (computer, written, drawing, solving puzzles, etc. no magnets, radiation, electrodes, or medical procedures involved) — the type of test is based on what is being explored. This battery (or collection) of tests, often done across multiple sessions, help a neuropsychologist determine a psychological diagnosis, treatment plan, and get a sense of how your brain works. Typically recommended by school systems/medical system to assess kids to help figure out what learning differences and accommodations may be helpful, but these assessments are not just for kids! Adults can use them to gain self-understanding, establish a baseline (if dementia or high-risk contact sports play is involved), or even figure out what parts of your brain have been injured or might be affected by brain surgery. Because kids grow and development so much, they are often redone every 2-4 years. Here's more on neuropsychological assessments from the Cleveland Clinic.Masking: when neurodivergent individuals pretend to be neurotypical, hide or minimize their stims, and even pretend they have the sam...

Isabelle and David continue to explore how an official ADHD or autism or AuDHD diagnosis might be a useful bridge to belong to a community. But what about the people who see these labels as pathologizing, including famous ADHD researchers like Dr. Russell Barkely? David and Isabelle explore some of the ways that thinking of ADHD from the negatives only and leaves people using the label not as a tool for empowerment, self-understanding, and advocacy--but as an excuse. Furthermore, what about labels like "Asperger's" (low-support need/high-masking autism) that has its roots in Nazi extermination camps? Neuropsychs Explored Part III.---The pro to identifying as having ADHD that David now understands, that he didn't understand years ago, was that it allows you to fit into a culture and a group differently. He walked into a room in his 30's (at an Eye-to-Eye conference) and found himself fitting in. David needed the label to understand himself. He brings up Dr. Russell Barkley and his research—Isabelle jumps in with a factoid about Barkley's twin who had ADHD and addiction issues and died in a car accident…which helps give her context for why Barkley is so big on ADHD being a risk factor while driving. David wants to make it clear—it is a tragic story, and he's not about casting anyone as evil or bad—but Barkeley's work does do a number on people's self esteem. They look at his research and think they can't change and they start to use ADHD as an excuse, not an explanation. It's important to have compassion for people, he does talk a lot about addiction and car crashes, and we all have sad parts of our past, and its what we do now that matters. When he's talking to a room for non-ADHDers, they tend to think that people with ADHD are less, rather than more. He likes folk music and David likes rap, and David is not going to pretend to like folk music. Isabelle names that she tries to make sense of something so dehumanizing, like the six hour training she sat through of his that left her in tears, gaining some context for his story gave her a chance to reduce how slimed she felt. Knowing why does decrease suffering. Isabelle has seen a lot of hostility and backlash about AuDHD. Autism is a spectrum—yes, there are non speakers and folks with high support needs. But maybe it was what back in the day was called Asperger's, a now unused term. David names that Dr. Asperger was a Nazi (sympathizer?) Who created a line around autism (essentially how high-masking someone was) that determined who lived and died. For more on this deep history of Asperger — check out the links below. Isabelle and David agree to have a way longer conversation on the history of neurodivergence. Isabelle talks more about her neuropsych assessment, including sample questions, and fill in the blank type sentences to write. And she was given a questionnaire to give to someone who knows her well—for kids, this might be both to caregivers and teachers, so they can get data about how the kid is functioning in multiple environments. Isabelle then waits, gets a twenty-some page document, and they sit down and cover it all. Isabelle has in the months between first hearing the neuropsychologist state that she meets criteria for autism, confirming her suspicions, she went on a deep dive on all these pieces of information. Isabelle felt the fear of having this diagnosis taken away from her felt so deeply. It was so hard, even just listening to the summary, she wanted to skip to the end (another autistic trait, she is learning, wanting to know the context so she can track what's being described or knowing where it's going), and she yes, she has autism, and she burst into tears. Isabelle finally has an answer to the riddle, which a chunk of it related to ADHD, but this is another part of the mystery, like she has been looking in funhouse mirrors her whole life, and now she has an accurate reflection of who she is, like a real, non-distorted mirror. She also has “severe” ADHD. David and Isabelle dig in with how negative this criteria is (which, side note, connects to Barkley's research). Are we weather systems? Are we severely awesome? Maybe we change it to extremely? Gah. Asperger's and the history of neurodivergence Articles and books on Dr. Russell Barkley Known as a big researcher of ADHD, does really good research, and pushes forward a lot of diagnostic criteria and is in a position of power changing the game for a lot of humans. The caveat that Isabelle and David often make is that: he takes a really doom and gloom, pathologizing perspective (which are scary research-based bits of information).  Asperger's Autism: you have 40% chance of ADHD, and then DEFINITIONSNote: “Neuropsych” is shorthand for BOTH a neuropsychological assessment or a neuropsychologist (which is confusing).Neuropsychologist is "an expert in how brain injuries and conditions affect your behavior, mood and thinking skills. They perform neuropsychological evaluations to assess how your brain and mind are working and suggest treatment plans." (Source: Cleveland Clinic).A neuropsychological assessment is a series of interviews and tests (computer, written, drawing, solving puzzles, etc. no magnets, radiation, electrodes, or medical procedures involved) — the type of test is based on what is being explored. This battery (or collection) of tests, often done across multiple sessions, help a neuropsychologist determine a psychological diagnosis, treatment plan, and get a sense of how your brain works. Typically recommended by school systems/medical system to assess kids to help figure out what learning differences and accommodations may be helpful, but these assessments are not just for kids! Adults can use them to gain self-understanding, establish a baseline (if dementia or high-risk contact sports play is involved), or even figure out what parts of your brain have been injured or might be affected by brain surgery. Because kids grow and development so much, they are often redone every 2-4 years. Here's more on neuropsychological assessments from the Cleveland Clinic.Stimming (aka "Self-Stimulatory Behavior) -originally attributed to autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but also occurs in neurodivergent AND neurotypical or allistic (non-autistic) folks. It means repetitive physical movements, sounds, or actions that someone engages in (aka leg bouncing, finger tapping, hand flapping, twirling hair, humming, repeating words, staring, pacing, doodling, playing with fidgets, chewing gum, smelling or touching things..so many stims!).Useful for: so many things! For when your senses are overloaded or your understimulated, can help you focus and concentrate, can be a way to learn about or interact with your environment, or to cope with anxiety, stress, excitement, or big feels.Masking: when neurodivergent individuals pretend to be neurotypical, hide or minimize their stims, and even pretend they have the same reasons for doing things (like Isabelle saying "yes, I'm antsy" when she's pacing, when really she feels good and grounded when she paces or goes from room to room).

David and Isabelle go into greater depth about neuropsychological assessments--both back in the day and now-for kids, and for adults--and Isabelle's AHA moment about self-disclosing her AuDHD self. From the odd history of the intersection of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and ADHD (did you know you couldn't be diagnosed with both for a long long time?) to realizing how literally she takes the world and how much it helps to finally have a turn signal on the car that is her, David and Isabelle dive deep into unmasking and the mistrust we have for the world when we are so misunderstood.---Isabelle likes having her new neuropsychological results because someone who is not her got to tell her that she has autism, and David has a different experience. His story was like three different hours of testing done at school, and it spit out that he was Oppositional Defiant, and then only in college did it notice he had differences in spelling and then ADHD. His experience is watching clients have their kids be flagged by a pediatrician or teacher to be tested and then they want to retest themselves. But David is so scared he'd go in now and learn…he doesn't have ADHD? And that Isabelle actually understands this, because there was a big gap (of several months) between the interview and the tests. Isabelle goes into further details around how she took her test in a little cubicle. And how for kids, it looks more like play, it involves an IQ test and way more details about processing speed, working memory, visual spatial reasoning, reading, symbols, numbers, etc. to help with understanding learning differences and accommodations. So Isabelle had to sit in a cubicle and stare at a computer and click on a mouse for fifteen minutes and it was awful. When he was a kid, David was pulled from class, he had no idea how long it was going to take, there was a person sitting there who was reading from a book and asking him questions. For kids, a level of buy-in becomes very important, it's hard to get data when you're a willing participant. For David, his first neuropsych showed how unwilling he was to participate, because it was something he was forced to do because there was “something wrong” and they were looking for what was wrong. This is not don't like this anymore. It's important to talk to someone who has been assessed to see how they liked their assessment. You can get a second opinion. There are people who specialize in different areas of neuropsychological testing. And someone who is great at diagnosing ADHD may not be great at diagnosing autism or vice versa. And up until 7 years ago or so, it was impossible to have both autism and ADHD be a primary diagnosis; which connected to insurance company lobbying when the DSM was being updated, ensuring that the rates of certain conditions wouldn't skyrocket because that would impact insurance coverage and ability to cover/deny and all kinds of political and social isms. The history of diagnoses and what makes the cutoffs incorporates layers of ableism, racism, sexism, homophobia…all kinds of oppression. David names how important it was an opening when you could have a combined AuDHD diagnosis because it started to mean that these diagnoses of deficiency, and all the stereotypes around all autistics being nonspeakers or having high support needs, started to get busted and it became more encompassing, maybe even of strengths? It's possible for us to be complex beings, being perceived as having ADHD or autism in another context. We are the keepers of the stigma, it was the ‘last thing we wanted to be.' The other day, Isabelle's kid went to the doctor, and she always felt the doctor was annoyed with her for being so literal and asking so many detail-oriented questions. Her kid answered the doctor's question of “does your throat hurt?” By checking in and saying “No.” And she had a lightbulb flash and realized he was taking the doctor literally. So she tells her kid “You and me, we both take things really literally and answer questions extremely honestly. I think the doctor means when she asks if your throat hurts, she means across the last week or so and not necessarily all the time or right now.” And he answers, “YES!” And she saw the doctor warm up to her kid and to her and she felt the difference, and maybe it was the vulnerability or the disclosure. For David's friend, there was a significant amount of distrust in the world, there was a pattern of miscommunication and people asking you things that they don't mean, when they learned they were autistic, their last instinct was to tell someone. But when they came back from the dentist, they talked about how much the light was bothering them, they gave me some glasses and made it so much better. David can't make us all believe we are safe, we can feel cared for when we tell people what we need and they respond. Statistically, some of the time, your need won't be missed and until recently, Isabelle didn't know she really needed, she would've said words like “anxious” and “please give me more time" 

Mr. Christopher and Michael Bland sit down with music luminary Thomas Dolby. We talk about his breakout success in the 80's, From his side projects, his hits like Hyperactive and She Blinded Me With Science, chilling with Michael Jackson, friendships with XTC's Andy Partridge, working with Todd Rundgren, and so much more.

Isabelle shares the results of her neuropsych with David: she is AuDHD! As a grown human learning she has AuDHD (ADHD + Autism Spectrum Disorder), what does it mean to 'get a neuropsych?' What even IS a neuropsych? Who gets one and why? How does high-masking autism look like for Isabelle? Busting myths, calling out fun factoids, and celebrating this news and the decrease of suffering it has brought to gain self-understanding and acceptance. ---Isabelle is SO EXCITED to see David's face. Because for the last few recording sessions she hasn't been able to see his face. And now she can see his face. She doesn't know she misses it, and David is wagging his tail and doesn't know if she's making any sense. The checking for understanding is missing. Isabelle got back her neuropsychological assessment results back. She has “severe” ADHD and also, is high-masking autistic. A fairly common question is: do I need to get a neuropsych? What does it do? David names we can all know something but this is different from the actual experience of it. Are there electrodes to your head? How many magnets are you exposed to? Is there a flowchart? Isabelle doesn't know a ton about assessments but she knows a little more now. So, for each job title or profession, you can administer different types of assessments, which involve data from interviews, and written/verbal tests—and a “neuropsychiatric assessment” is conducted by a neuropsychologist, someone who is skilled at administering and interpreting test results as well as being super savvy about neuroscience and the brain. It's a battery of tests that is designed to help someone determine a psychological diagnosis. Isabelle's experience was, she had used up her deductible and one of her kids as well as her and Bobby decided they wanted to learn more about themselves and get a neuropsych. And she wanted to test it out because she always had a little more mustard on the hot dog of ADHD, more auditory sensory stuff. So Isabelle went in for about an hour long interview and asked me a lot of directive, specific questions. No electrodes, sitting in a cozy office. She was asking questions about friendship, life history type questions about her childhood. With ADHD and Autism, you're talking about a neurodevelopment condition, meaning it's baked in and showing up throughout your life. She was asking a lot of questions about what it was like for Isabelle socially, the years of bullying and taking things very literally, social faux pas, being late to catch on to social subtext or data. And stimming? Which applies to all neurospicy folk. David likens it to a car exhaust—it's not anxiety, it's repetitive movements that let out extra steam and overstimulation, when your senses have taking in too much it helps you release. Isabelle thought it was anxiety! But she…actually isn't very anxious. She likes wearing tight clothes and textures, she flaps her hands and holds her hands like a t-rex. She's realizing how much she would be overloaded after a day, and she would pace, and wiggle her hands, she needs detailed handwriting, and she just wants to be left alone under her weighted blanket. And be crying. She'd say “and I'm overhwlemed because I had a hard day at work!” When for her, she was missing a crucial piece of information. Which is she went to Target, and was under fluorescent lights, and some random stranger talked to her and she didn't understand it, and then when she said “what?” He looked at her funny, and THAT connected more to the state she found herself in than having a bad day at work. Sitting with uncomfortable feelings and anxiety is different—David names that with anxiety, people can be thought of as fragile, and that can be helpful—but when it's applied to someone who is neurodiverse, who isn't fragile, it can be pretty frustrating. David describes how he sits and bounces his leg pretty fast and his whole body will be shaking (best kind!) And David is sitting there stimming, and people turn to him "it's okay, it's just a doctor's office” and they assume he's anxious, but he'as actually in an ADHD stupor and he's bored and waiting and feeling good. So much of how people are perceived has a significant element of judgment. Over and over again because she's sitting still or pacing or rocking on her feet—they read Isabelle as impatient or angry, blew her mind. When you see her rocking back and forth and expressionless she's super happy and chill, but you take it as a signal she needs to mask and explain and do things to signal she's happy and sometimes she doesn't understand it herself so she just says “yes, I am angry.” And she thought she was a liar—because she'd be dishonest, she'd agree with someone else and say “yeah, I'm antsy.” Even if she wasn't. David points out that that's not lying, that's masking. David speaks to how complicated lying is in neurodiversity, because friends will say “I'll see you tomorrow night" but then there's an Impulsive moment and it doesn't happen. How integrity can be perceived, and what you want to own about ourselves. Going back to the assessment process, she had a student in a room and Isabelle likes this because (she's realizing) it helps her play the eye contact game. David describes the hack of looking at people between their eyebrows instead of in their eyes. Isabelle owns that for her, not for every neurons-icy or otherwise human, she feels like she's gazing into a person's soul when she makes direct eye contact. It feels rude to her to look at her eyes without a closer emotional bond and without consent, and she looks a bit higher and eyebrows give her data and when she's looking at someone's eyes its too much. David shares: it's ten times more stimulating to look someone in the eye (10 times more neurons fire). WHAT?! yes. Isabelle is sobbing and confused saying “am I crazy? Am I making up that I am on the spectrum for some weird reason?” She was also listening to see if getting a neuropsych is worthwhile for her (for school or work accommodations)? ADHD was so obvious to Isabelle, but this was causing her distress: the idea and theme in her life of being the last to know something obvious. Increased understanding reduces suffering—what are choices? What are your needs? So much about what shouldn't or should? What parts of things can you embrace v. ‘Toughing it out.' Isabelle was in there after an hour and some change. Bobby also went in for a half hour and came out and got resources on ADHD and doesn't seem like he'd get a lot out of a neuropsych and if so, it's not causing any pain, and maybe you already know what you know and you don't go through this? Side note, this is not a prerequisite for self-diagnosis. This is a systemic hurtle, it can help you understand the world around you or help you get accommodations around specific areas of work, v. Being in school. But bear in mind, it's not just for kids.

In this episode of the Experience Miracles podcast, Dr. Tony Ebel discusses neurological detoxification—what happens when children begin Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care. He explains why detoxes, which can appear as regressions or negative symptoms, are actually positive signs of healing and progress. Dr. Ebel breaks down the mechanisms behind these detoxes, how they affect different body systems, and provides practical guidance for parents to support their children through this process. He emphasizes that these temporary challenges lead to profound improvements in sleep, behavior, digestion, and overall development.[00:01:00] Understanding Neurological DetoxesWhat happens when starting nervous system-focused careWhy some children experience symptoms that appear to be moving in the "wrong direction"How clinical protocols have improved over time for better management of detox reactions[00:08:00] Physical Signs of DetoxificationCommon temporary changes: fatigue, increased mucus, fever, skin breakoutsHow digestion shifts from constipation to more frequent eliminationEmotional and behavioral fluctuations during healing[00:12:00] Autonomic Nervous System FunctionThe role of sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic systemsHow children with chronic illness get stuck in sympathetic dominanceWhy activating the vagus nerve is essential for detoxification[00:17:00] The Perfect Storm Model of Chronic IllnessThe sequence of triggers that lead to autism and chronic illnessEmotional stress during pregnancy and birth trauma as primary factorsHow physical damage to the brainstem creates subluxation[00:26:00] Three Types of Children: The Bull AnalogiesRaging bull: Hyperactive, always moving, won't sit still (ADHD-like)Drunken bull: Struggles with focus, coordination, and processing (ADD-like)Exhausted bull: Shut down, withdrawn nervous systemWhy children need to go through missed developmental stages[00:32:00] The Motor System and Brain DevelopmentThe importance of sequential motor milestonesHow sensory-motor function provides a window into brain functionWhy motor patterns are more connected to brain function than gut function[00:39:00] Supporting Your Child Through DetoxWhy staying consistent with care is crucialPrioritizing sleep and temporarily reducing therapy loadNourishing the body and trusting the process[00:44:00] The Path ForwardWhy leaning in rather than backing off leads to breakthroughsThe "messy middle" leads to the biggest healing breakthroughsAvoiding the addition of too many therapies during detox-- Follow us on Socials: Instagram: @pxdocs Facebook: Dr. Tony Ebel & The PX Docs Network Youtube: The PX Docs For more information, visit PXDocs.com to read informative articles about the power of Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care. Find a PX Doc Office near me: PX DOCS DirectoryTo watch Dr. Tony's 30 min Perfect Storm Webinar: Click HereSubscribe, share, and stay tuned for more incredible episodes unpacking the power of Nervous System focused care for children!

Isabelle and David welcome back Marcus Soutra, co-founder of Eye to Eye and founder of For the Good Consulting, and explore the nature of authenticity, "coolness" and the meaning of masking with nation-wide advocacy expert and fellow ADHD and LD-er. How did being "cool" go from being rich and unaffected to being authentic and open about ND/LD identities? From the loneliness and high masking rates of ADHDers, to Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts and social media, the ways ND culture has approached masking and unmasking.----Isabelle talks about how being wealthy and affording the performance/clothes of ‘coolness' growing up was Abercrombie & Fitch back in her high school days--these were expensive clothes that you had to get at the mall and were part of the performance of being 'cool.' And what about how much of coolness, at least for a time, was defined by money, or access to certain expensive clothing brands (like Abercrombie and Fitch) What it means to perform and be high masking, for her. There is a coolness factor, the kid who can pick up what's cool has an advantage over the kid who doesn't. Marcus sums it up: are you able to fit in and be embraced by the neurotypical world? And if you can't, there's the loner path, the bully path? The empathy he has for the bully path—they were, in his past, the LD/ND kids who were dealing with loneliness and not masking well and it was their way of finding their way to a role in the school community. 60% of people with ADHD say they mask on regular basis and 33% say there is a loneliness to the experience of having ADHD. Then there's also the pain of being high-masking or being accepted by the neurotypical world, how little practice you have at sitting with who you really are, and finding a stable sense of self. There is a way to be a self to fit in that is not the same as an authentic, self-confident knowing-who-you-are self. The difference between doing it in a healthy way v. doing it in a way to survive. Hard to know what parts of you are okay, and when you're blending into a neurotypical world, there's a significant advantage of being able to read the rooms around social cues. Marginalized senses of self are real, having to exist believing you're less than. Or believing if the mask ever falls, it's terrifying. Isabelle names that there's a management around masking and the layers, like she can unmask and say “I have ADHD!” but she doesn't say, “I have ADHD and I screwed up the finances again so I can't afford the school bill.” Something for her connects coolness to unaffectedness, not being vulnerable, or not caring what others think. Beyond the unique person who owns where they are, where does coolness come from in our culture? Marcus responds that it's often the people at the top of the social hierarchy, it's the celebrities, the role models.  Growing up for Marcus, there were the most attractive movie stars who were dyslexia, like Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, not Paul Giamatti. When it came to Aspergers (previous name for low support need Autism, check out more in depth on this history below) or Autism (before it was known as Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD) were superheroes, like RainMan, Temple Grandin, and that was our introduction to the autism community. If you're dyslexic, the way to make it out is to have hotness or have superhero qualities, and if you don't fit into either one of those, good luck. This brings up how celebrities are not so far removed anymore, from the days that you got these bland PR stories or tabloids, now you have people sharing their stories and unmasking on social media. Marcus names that authenticity is now a part of social media, and it's important for celebrities to have a cause, to be speaking to some aspect of this. If we'recynical, it could be a branding strategy, or it could be a shift in culture, because this emphasis on authenticity rather than hiding has been a big change in the last five years. What is Abercrombie & Fitch? The following documentary covers it pretty much:"White Hot: The Rise and Fall of Abercrombie and Fitch" (Netflix documentary)DEFINITIONS:Masking: Often used in referenced to autistic folx (Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)), it also applies to folx with ADHD, OCD, and all kinds of neurodivergence (ND) and learning differences (LD), like dyslexia, dycalculia, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, etc. It's the idea that you have to wear a neurotypical "mask" to be accepted or to engage in a world made for those that are neurotypical. You 'pretend' as if you brain and nervous system work in ways they don't. It can be (and feel like) a matter of survival. From a great article on the topic:“For many neurodivergent people, masking is a survival tool for engaging in neurotypical societies and organizations. Masking (also called camouflaging) is the artificial performance of social behaviors deemed more “socially acceptable” in a neurotypical culture.”For more on Marcus Soutra:www.For the Good Consulting.comSoutra is a dynamic, award-winning advocate, leader, and trailblazer in the field of neurodiversity (ND). An ND individual himself and former classroom teacher turned social entrepreneur, he co-founded and led Eye to Eye, scaling the organization's impact on thousands of schools and individuals across the United States. A sought-after speaker, Soutra has delivered compelling talks on stages worldwide, from Harvard to Tokyo, has appeared in dozens of television broadcasts and podcasts,  and has been featured in leading publications including Forbes, The Hill, and Philanthropy Digest. In recognition of his transformative work, he received an honorary doctorate from his alma mater in the spring of 2024.As the founder of For The Good Consulting, Soutra now supports organizations dedicated to driving systemic change for individuals furthest from opportunity. He resides in Brooklyn, NY, with his wife, an educator and learning specialist, where together they continue to advocate for a more equitable world for all students.------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Isabelle and David welcome back Marcus Soutra, co-founder of Eye to Eye and founder of For the Good Consulting, and ask an interesting question of this nation-wide advocacy expert and fellow ADHD and LD-er: how has life in schools changed for neurodivergent kids, especially now that some of us are parents/educators/in charge? Are kids still afraid, as David was, of having to go to the nurses' office? And how has what's "cool" been redefined in the past decades? From trauma modes to collared shirts, from shifting ADHD from a diagnosis to an identity, the three explore perspectives on masking (AKA using energy to appear as neurotypical), which can be both a poison and a salve.----David wonders, given that Marcus travels across the continental United States…what is he seeing as patterns in neurodivergent culture? Marcus describes that he sees the elder millennials having kids who are now being identified as being neurodivergent, and naming, “The trauma ends with me,” and they're refusing to hand this off to the next generation, and because a generation that grew up with these labels are now turning into parents, school leaders, caregivers, people in charge. David likens this to growing up in an earlier generation where he was taught to toughen up, to take the knocks and handle it. Isabelle relates this to how when you're living in survival mode, you can't also be processing the trauma and making meaning of it, you first have to survive—and part of survival mode is to have tunnel vision, to stay tough, to not pause to feel. So it would make sense for a generation that maybe always was in survival mode to try to pass that on to their kids in the form of “toughen up.” She relates to wanting to break this cycle, though, so hard, as a parent. And also—what does David mean by the “boy named Sue” generation? (Answer: it's a reference to a Johnny Cash song, see below). Marcus describes how this compares to other movements, where something that used to be a diagnosis or label is then taken back as an identity. As he has ADHD, he was hoping this change would happen so much faster, in his small, privileged ND community this change happened so rapidly. It does take these generational shifts and changes to make these things stick. David names that individually, we all have individual struggles that rub up against the system. It felt like school was meant to take parts of us away, it was like an eraser trying to shave parts off. But we are be keepers of that. In school there was no concept of advocating for an accommodation, it was just: do you want to look weird? Leaving class early to go get his meds. How has this changed for kids and adults? It's hard to generalize because “you know one neurodivergent person, you know one neurodivergent person.” But having an open conversation about something and talk about it and acknowledge and not other it—it does set it up for students to have a teacher they can talk to and ask for what they need (even one adult in that building). The needle has moved from the average high schooler even knowing what dyslexia/ADHD/any ND or LD is. Marcus wasn't bummed out about dyslexic, but back in high school, it was other people were going to see him being different. He refused to get accommodations for the third time, because if he got accommodations for it, he wouldn't take the SAT at the same time. Isabelle remembers that as a full body memory, taking the SAT being a production back in the day and even in her own experience being bussed on the short bus into a different school for a Gifted program and how it signaled you were different but also you didn't want to belong to this select tribe, either.  David names: different is dangerous in some ways, not just for kids but for adults, too. You walk into a room and everyone is wearing a blue “I'm here for a reason” shirt and you might slowly back out of the room and go “I don't belong.” Trying to be like everyone else is both the salve and the poison—it helps keep us save when we're masking—what does everyone else is doing? It helps us mask, but David's first time being a room where people admitted they were neurodivergent, Grady was bouncing a racket ball, the relief and joy you feel when you can join in being more authentically yourself. Isabelle is thinking of the “Cool Bean” book (see below) and how in that story, the beans are ‘cool' not just because they are performing as cool and have style and whatnot, but also because they are willing to take risks and help those who are being bullied or laughed at, that are able to stand up for others and themselves in a way. This is so different than ‘coolness' as Isabelle experienced it in her little bubble growing up in suburban Chicago, where coolness felt way more about avoiding being targeting and felt meaner and scarier and more about social power and wielding it (with meanness). Marcus names how his masking helped him in a way; he didn't know if he could get away with getting into trouble so he would know how to appear wearing a collared shirt and combed hair and befriend his teachers so that he would get on their good side. David describes how with ‘coolness,' it could be more about performing as if, rather than actually being it—like Marcus wasn't actually friends with his teachers but he had the appearance of it, and how often we take those appearances of coolness and roll with it. Isabelle wonders—what about the privilege of masking? Like the way people who mask more easily and slot into neurotypical expectations have privileges and also—‘detecting' what's cool? And what about how much of coolness, at least for a time, was defined by money, or access to certain expensive clothing brands (like Abercrombie and Fitch) What it means to perform as if you are confident in who you are, Johnny Cash's “Boy Named Sue” (live at San Quentin, 1969)Cool Beans book (by Jory John) read aloud (by Harper Kids)Smart Cookie (also by Jory John) read aloud (by Magical Little Minds) about learning differences/neurospicyness according to Isabelle"White Hot: The Rise and Fall of Abercrombie and Fitch" (Netflix documentary)------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

This episode is brought to you with help of NordVPN. To get the special birthday deal, visit www.nordvpn.com/spacenuts - you'll be glad you did.Space Nuts Episode 497: Earth's Core Dynamics, Hypervelocity Stars, and Cosmic DustJoin Andrew Dunkley and Professor Jonti Horner in this captivating episode of Space Nuts as they delve into the intriguing dynamics of our planet's core, the discovery of a hyperactive star with a planet, and the fascinating phenomenon of cosmic dust. From the slowing of Earth's inner core to the implications of interstellar objects entering our solar system, this episode is filled with insights that will ignite your curiosity about the universe.Episode Highlights:- Earth's Core Dynamics: Andrew and Jonti discuss the recent findings regarding the Earth's inner core, revealing that it has been slowing down. They explore how researchers used data from repeating earthquakes to uncover the complexities of the core's rotation and its implications for our understanding of Earth's geology.- Hypervelocity Stars: The duo introduces the concept of hypervelocity stars and highlights a newly discovered star that is moving at an astonishing speed of nearly 2 million kilometers per hour. They discuss the significance of this find and its connection to the planet orbiting this remarkable star.- Cosmic Dust from Neighboring Systems: Andrew and Jonti explore the idea of "space dandruff," where neighboring solar systems contribute to the influx of cosmic dust in our own. They discuss simulations that suggest a million objects from the Alpha Centauri system are currently passing through our solar system, and the potential for detecting these interstellar visitors.- Debate on Planetary Classification: The episode wraps up with a discussion on a newly discovered object that challenges the boundaries between planets and brown dwarfs. Jonti explains the ongoing debate regarding the definitions of these celestial bodies and how new discoveries are prompting scientists to reconsider traditional classifications.For more Space Nuts, including our continually updating newsfeed and to listen to all our episodes, visit our website. Follow us on social media at SpaceNutsPod on Facebook, X, YouTube Music Music, Tumblr, Instagram, and TikTok. We love engaging with our community, so be sure to drop us a message or comment on your favorite platform.If you'd like to help support Space Nuts and join our growing family of insiders for commercial-free episodes and more, visit spacenutspodcast.com/aboutStay curious, keep looking up, and join us next time for more stellar insights and cosmic wonders. Until then, clear skies and happy stargazing.00:00 - Introduction to the episode and topics02:15 - Discussion on Earth's core dynamics and slowing rotation10:30 - Exploration of hypervelocity stars and their implications18:00 - The phenomenon of cosmic dust from neighboring systems26:45 - Debate on planetary classification and the discovery of Gaia 4B30:00 - Closing thoughts and listener engagement✍️ Episode ReferencesEarth's Inner Core Researchhttps://www.nature.com/articlesHypervelocity Stars and Planet Discoveryhttps://www.space.com/hypervelocity-starsCosmic Dust Studieshttps://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0019103519302003Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/space-nuts-exploring-the-cosmos--2631155/support.

Isabelle and David continue to talk with David's brother's friend, Aaron, and dig deep into why winding down and going to sleep is the hardest transition of all: because you're staring into a black hole of no dopamine for hours! And also, a lot of traditional sleep hygiene tricks may not work. Folks with ADHD have higher rates of sleep apnea, among other sleep disorders, and also, can do with staying away from preferred activities before bed. This, sleep tips and tricks, and recognizing the value of being open about your neurodivergence...as well as some really good callbacks to the previous two episodes (096 and 097) regarding "St. Elmo's Fire's" amazing theme song.—-Isabelle and Aaron wonder: what's with this PDA business (persistent drive for autonomy/persistent demand avoidance)? David explains: It's hard for us to connect a learned moment with an experience, it's hard for us to take a moment we're learning now and take it into the future, and we're distractable. If we're in a place with any shame, guilt, or anxiety, distraction becomes highly reinforcing. We are highly reinforced by not paying attention to what we want to pay attention to it. We're not seeing the long term consequence, we don't understand what we're doing to our future by not doing it in this moment--delay of gratification and response cost. Like, what did you do today? “I watched three seasons of Scrubs and ate a buffet of Indian food.” We can't claim any wins at the end of the day, but in the moment it felt so nice, it was a distraction. Neurologically we don't get a success, norepinephrine —you feel anxious, and it leads into their evening, and for kids and adults, if you're really anxious about the next day, you don't want to go to sleep. “The longer I'm up today, the longer today is! I don't have to face tomorrow if I haven't gone to bed yet.” David has been thinking about this with his friend and colleague Noah, based on this book, Dopamine Nation. If we're not accommodated or assisted by something during a transition, and then you have nothing else to do, you are looking down a long dark hole of no dopamine—that's why the evening can look so hard. The road to sleep to extra awful, you have to sit still, you have to tolerate frustration and still yourself enough to go to sleep. David names: we are considered overtired if it takes less than 15 minutes to fall alseep—most ADHD folks, as an accommodation to not sit in the discomfort of staying still with no dopamine, don't hit the bed until they are beyond exhausted and just crash. Isabelle and Aaron disbelieve this. Isabelle does not compute that this is how people live, that people just lay there for 8, 10, 15 minutes and slowly go to sleep, this has never happened to her. Aaron gets anxious that he won't fall asleep in 5 minutes and then can't stand the guided meditation.  David will be snoring watching tv on the couch with his partner but doesn't confirm he is “tired." with Delayed sleep phase onset, this is a thing we struggle with. Accommodations for sleep? Did you use enough physical energy during the day? You can't go into a preferred activity before bed—you have to find weird shows or things that are interesting but not so interesting it will keep you awake. What is a preferred activity? If you're super into a video game, for example—if you can't sleep, don't play the video game. The things that you prefer and wake you up, engage your hyperfocus. What's the boring video game that's like paint by numbers? Isabelle will read nonfiction when she's not feeling very tired, but if she reads compelling fiction she will stay awake. Because, who wants to sit in boredom? These are tips that are not sleep hygiene or what you'd expect. So many tactics to help a kid fall asleep are there to help them get bored enough to stay still and not reach for a preferred activity. The most important task in the brain's development is boredom: One of the most important things is to experience boredom. It's really important and yet we run from it all the time. A neurotypicaly person needs to encounter a certain amount of boredom to get creative. But with ADHD, we are bored a 1000's of times more often in a day than a neurotypical does in a day, and the feeling of being bored is so caustic and our brain is so creative and thinking of fun things all the time. But because we encounter so many micromoments of boredom, it makes it really hard to tolerate the 10 or 15 minutes to fall asleep. Or try something on in the store. The moment of a transition that's boredom and hurts. When do we want to sit with it, when do you want to avoid it? David tries to stop listening to a D&D podcast he wants to, he's trying to train himself to be awake still and do it at a time and then fall asleep, instead of falling asleep when he crashes. AND there are literal sleep disturbances. People with ADHD have a much higher likelihood of getting a CPAP machine and sleep apnea, cause our physical necks are bigger (what?!). We have to think of social conventions made to busy people as problematic: are you folding your underwear because you're worried about them wrinkling? So many clothes are not wrinkling! Clean your clothes, but don't think you're failing at life if you're not folding laundry. Aaron requests more on sleep, and refers to an older episode by name "I'm not tired, you're tired!” David wonders: what would a Aaron tell his younger self if he had a 20 second time machine. He'd like to tell himself: “be brave, it's hard, it gets better. And look into ADHD earlier." The whole sequence of anxiety he's had to deal with has been altered by knowing about ADHD and being medicated. It's not just the medicine, it's finally having a reason for how his interior life is the way he is. If there's no reason, it's just your fault—why is Aaron a slob in his private places? It's not a character defect. But some people with ADHD are clean and tidy! Isabelle is one of these people—she just got a label maker and has been labeling her cabinets and pantry with things but then putting exclamation points at the end, so it says things like “BEANS!” “PASTA!” Referring back to Ep097, David names that Isabelle is a promoter: of pantry staples. But for Isabelle, she doesn't mind if others are making messes, she just needs things to be in order because otherwise they will move on her, it's a way to accommodate her working memory and find things again later. There isn't a right way to fit into this culture,. There's parts of ADHD culture—and theory of group dynamics, that says that people within a group have more things different between each other than they do with those outside of the group: ADHD is no different. Like medically: with depression, you can sleep not at all, or sleep a lot: these are opposite things and yet they all fall under the same diagnosis. Some things we can all relate to, like the way that we are hurt by our own integrity (not doing what we wanted or said we would do), our celebration and glee at remembering to do or finally doing the boring thing! Recognizing you have ADHD is a bit like parts of you being seen before, and suddenly all these associated pains --you don't know why you can't do what you want to do, and it has be to you. Aaron ties that back to his calvinist upbringing: “I wanted to do this, why did I forget?" It's the internal monologue we have to chance. There are parts of us that in a wheelchair and we keep coming at stairs. Isabelle references “I wanna to be a man in motion? All I need is this pair of wheels. Take me where the eagle's fly: St. Elmo's Fire."  ...

If you're struggling with chronic pain, alongside body image or disordered eating challenges, this episode is for you.

Isabelle and David continue to talk with David's brother's friend, Aaron, and contemplate why folks with ADHD can be so enthusiastic and excited about interests, people, etc. Is it because we are like puppies who are starved for reinforcement (dopamine)? Or does it come from living a life on the outside and the joy of connection when it has been missed for so long. With callbacks to Greatest American Hero (See Ep095) as well as the real story behind the theme song to St. Elmo's Fire.—-David describes how borrowing from LeDerick Horne and his brilliant theory around leadership, that folks in leadership can have a number of qualities, including being promoters. Folks with ADHD can be natural promoters, and being a promoter is actually a form of leading others. With the caveat that we must be into what we promote. And how excited we are about people and how we talk people up. David names that perhaps this has something to do with how we are starving (for dopamine) and intimacy and connection and relatedness can help us fill that void, we reach for the connection and get excited. Isabelle wonders if this relates to an autism(ASD)-style special interest, how she perpetually is excited and has a working principle that everyone could find common ground if we just found a shared hobby or special interest. David likes to tell people on airplanes that he's a car salesman so he can talk and listen to his heart's content but he doesn't have to focus on what he does. Isabelle names that even though David is not very savvy about cars, he could sell a car because he's such a natural salesperson. Isabelle names that anxiety around overselling things, she might encourage people to try new things, take new risks, explore and play—but her working memory is so poor that she doesn't know if she oversold, she has to refer to notes or something as reference. David loved serving as fun because there was a high degree of risk and failing so it helped me remember things. David names that we are not starving puppies with watery eyes, but we are highly susceptible to be reinforced, so when we see someone else's tail wagging, it shoots up our levels of dopamine, we are highly reinforced. The establishing operation—social connection and social mastery is water for us, like the water-deprived rats being reinforced in Skinner boxes. The environment makes Isabelle's puppy quality feel safe or good or not; and can lead to her feeling starved of that connection and reinforcement. The feeling when you have no one wagging their tail back at you—how many mistakes we do make, how many social gaffs and miscues, and big ones. It's almost like we find ourselves so marginalized, its like finding a prison gang when we find people who get us. What does it do to your sense of self when you can't do what you want with your morning—how that deflates your sense of self. Isabelle feels like she shares a bond with the other parents and caregivers that are always running late—it flares up imposter syndrome and “if you only saw me five minutes ago." David reframes this as "if only you saw what it took me to get here and I made it!" Aaron is a master of social engineering, even though he's almost always good at it and social interaction, he remains scared the whole time. The anxiety hits because if it doesn't work out, he takes the hits hard: he can take a lot of them, but they hit hard. David shares one of his hits—he was spending a lot of money for grad school, wanting to read all the books for all his classes, he was going to learn it all...but he didn't do any of the readings for one of his classes. The class was talking about this person out loud, “Ed Nafoah” — he was like "what is this Nafoah guy talking about ?” and everyone in class is like “Edna? Her name is Edna Foa.” It took five to ten minutes for David to feel the cabin pressure returning and the lights to come up and to return to his body. Aaron points out that his impulsivity could carry him through it—David had a ballast and in grad school and they were talking about different psychosocial backgrounds, step or two based on privilege. The professor holds up a dollar and says "the first person to…can have this dollar?” He's never seen someone authorized like that. Aaron sings the theme song from “The Greatest American Hero” which we all know, and the superhero suit is David's impulsivity. Who is Edna Foa?Greatest American Hero trailer (he is LITERALLY "walking on air")Story behind St. Elmo's Fire theme song, "Man in Motion" here's the music video and the song A quick synopsis of the backstory behind the song (Source: Wikipedia)And an interview with the songwriter/singer, John Parr, discussing how he came up with the idea and how he snuck it in to be the theme song for this 1980's Brat Pack Extravaganza. For more about our guest:Aaron Michael Ullrey (he/him)Writing and Editing Specialist, Editor in ChiefResearch Associate, Transcendence and TransformationCenter for the Study of World Religion (CSWR) at Harvard Divinity SchoolInstructor of Religious StudiesThe University of HoustonInstructor of Sanskrit LanguageUniversity of Naropa -----Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

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Isabelle and David welcome David's brother's friend, Aaron, who, as a recently diagnosed ADHDer, brings up the idea of if ADHD is a superpower, it's like the super suit in “Greatest American Hero:” a suit given with a manual that got lost on the first day of use. What happens when you find your ‘ingredient' for doing the things you previously struggled with and now can do? How does your self esteem and sense of self efficacy impact how you handle days when that ingredient is missing? This plus being puppy dogs together, tackling Mt. Laundry, and why intimacy beats contempt.----David and Isabelle welcome Aaron, a longtime friend of David's brother, who was recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. In thinking about ADHD, he thinks about this show from the 1970's, “Greatest American Hero,” where this teacher is given a superpower suit by some aliens, who also give him a manual for the suit, and he loses it on the first day, so he goes around saving people but also is seeking this manual and he always gives it up to save someone. He resonated with this character so much, and for Aaron, medication made a huge difference—he is able to wake up and do the thing and then he is able to do. He's been medicated for anxiety and depression his whole life and taking medication for ADHD doesn't make those go away, but it helps him be the person he always wanted to be. Isabelle so resonates with the suit metaphor and how she and Bobby attempted to make their home more ADHD friendly (see “Keeping House While Drowning” and all the ADHD friendly home tips below!) And she forgot her medication and instead of spiraling into anxiety, when she realized why she stalled out all day, she was able to recognize it was “oh, I was missing my ingredient.”  David points out that it's not just medication, because medication is not for everyone, it can be so many things, once we find out what the ingredient is—working out in the morning, the coffee routine, whatever it might be--when you all of a sudden miss it, you can pinpoint it and recover. Even more so, Aaron describes how it is a conscious habit, as a child of the 80's, he is not about the idea of 'working on his self-esteem,' but realizes through therapy and his conversations with David that it keeps coming up for a reason, there are wounds there that do shift when you are able to do some of the things you previously struggled with. David can recognize those nasty voices in our heads, the angry voice as a teenager to get himself to do things. Based on his arbitrary math, while it takes 6 weeks to build a neurological bridge, it takes 6 years to build a habit. He chose to make excitement that it will be over the habit over the anger over having to do it. Whether it's medication or nervousness or anxiety, David recognizes that something has to stimulate him so he has to choose his path and practice it. Aaron remembers his psychologist friend Dave 20 years ago sharing the 3 paths to happiness (he was studying at the time)—the first is excitement, the second is contempt (at least temporarily), and the third is intimacy. Aaron is excitable and comes from a contemptuous family and wants to focus on intimacy. This makes Isabelle make awkward spiders with her hands, the idea of gossiping and spreading shame makes you feel reassured and safe but also brings with it a threat and temporary condition; for Isabelle, intimacy means playfulness, curiosity, a willingness to see what happens next, and as David defines it: a shared vulnerability. Aaron ordered up BRAIN STUFF, and sadly David has no links, so Isabelle tries to fill it by talking about studies that connect to how we associate the negative talk about someone with the gossiper, not the subject of the gossip. David names that he does think ADHD is a superpower with a missing manual, and the tricky part is let's say we're talking unbridled enthusiasm: it's a superpower and contagious and also has an effect on the recipient. David names being okay with someone not wanting to be the recipient at this current moment. THE THINGS WE MENTIONED:Greatest American Hero Opening Credits (Worth it to finally see where this song comes from and for the flying haphazardly imagery)How to Keep House While Drowning by KC DavisSo You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson"Punishing or praising gossipers: How people interpret the motives behind negative gossip shapes its consequences" (source: Social and Personality Psychology Compass)-----Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Break free from the overwhelm, shame, and constant battle with your ADHD. Order the Something Shiny ADHD Toolkit Series - available now until January 2nd, 2025! Does ADHD make you an overly optimistic puppy dog? Or the sprinkle of trickster magic in someone else's day? And is there really a "better" way to be, optimistic or pessimistic? From David being a prophetic hot dog vendor at Wrigley Field, to trickster archetypes, to the differences between vulnerable in the process of something or being vulnerable at the end, Isabelle and David dig into a totally unique way to consider optimism and pessimism as adaptive. ----Once upon a time, David sold hot dogs at Wrigley Field, yelling out “here's your hot dogs!” To do that, he talked differently, throwing the accent in so thick. This was during the McGuire/Sosa run streak, and he would say “Sammy's going to hit a home run to you in the 7th” and he had a 50% chance of being right and he made it a great time for those kids. This makes Isabelle think of Tricia Hersey, the Nap Minister, who has done all this work on systemic racism and the Black American experience, and rest as resistance or a form of activism. She also is talking about lot about trickster energy. Isabelle thinks about this in the form of ableism, how she talks and writes about trickster energy, and making magic in something that feels subversive and is part of the time as well as not a part of the time. Like David is performing the role of the hot dog vendor, but then because he predicts the ‘future' to the kid, he adds a twist to it and he becomes a full human, like more than a role. Isabelle's shortcuts often fall around domestic labor. David likes how it elevates the hot dog vendor to more than an NPC—after the game, if he predicted it was right, reclaims that he was actually a main character. But also it was greater than what David was doing. Isabelle notices that this lines up with a neurodivergent strength with ADHD, the going on tangents, the divergent tangents. Isabelle names that recently things have been really tough personally and professionally, and yet she has this relentless optimism; Isabelle can't help but bring in the playful energy. Is her optimism really about ADHD? David names that optimism is not about accuracy, it has to do with process. Optimism is: ‘it's not a loss until it is,” and you can be miserable for 3 weeks leading up to something or miserable for the one moment you feel the loss. But also, David warns, optimism can be dangerous when it comes to expectations. If you expect a piece of (astronaut) ice cream when you get home every day, it is a set up when you get upset you didn't get the astronaut ice cream. Optimism is radically accepting that we haven't lost until we have. In one hour we can feel sad, but right now, we can still win. For David it's how he can sit with his nervous system, it's changing the meaning of “in process.” Isabelle really likes this, as she is relentlessly optimistic. If she is more willing to take risks, if she doesn't have a big response cost, she doesn't have a great estimation of how hard or long something is going to be, a poor working memory, and it would track that overall she would get smacked in the face by a 2 x 4 and then wake up the next day and forget it ever happened. She doesn't remember the fails until she's failing again, and anything is possible until it isn't, or she remembers the fails but this time, it could be different. And, is part of that really a choice she's making or is it just a shortcut, a mental shortcut—you could call it optimism that she always leaves the house not accounting for traffic because she believes in parking magic. It would be way harder for her to keep all the possibilities in mind. David asks: are you forgetting to account for traffic? That's executive functioning stuff. Or are you optimistic about there being no traffic? If you're leaving late thinking you're going to get a good parking spot, the memory deficit reinforces this perspective. But isn't it easier to live with miracles and magic and not borrowing trouble? You're not ruining your present moment by fretting about something that hasn't happened yet. But if Isabelle could have accounted for her executive functioning maybe she could've avoided some thing. When we are struggling to pull out optimism in an area, we're looking at areas of self-esteem. It's really hard to be optimistic if you don't have a sense of mastery in who you are and what you're doing. You have to have a sense that you are enough or that you matter, you have to have some power or some say in a world. Survival mode, by necessity removes optimism, makes you pessimistic. When you've survived trauma, which is anything that overwhelms your sense of hope, what devalued or dehumanized you or left you feeling out of control, and it was something that Isabelle was internalizing something was the worst. Back in the day, in older versions of the DSM, included in PTSD was the idea of a ‘foreshortened future,” there's not way she could survive or make it through another developmental state. When you're in survival mode, you think you're getting all the important data, black and white, like an old news reel, you think you're getting all the information, but you're getting very little data, which can be both helpful and hurtful. Does optimism indicate the opposite of the trauma response? Is it an indicator you're not in the survival mode? But David names: optimism is not a better, pessimism is not a worse—both are accommodations and have their uses. Maybe you're more vulnerable in process, and less vulnerable at the end, so being optimistic is an adaptation for you. For someone else who is more vulnerable at the end and less vulnerable in process, being pessimistic would be an adaptation. We surrender parts of ourselves when we try to be somebody else, and David is a proponent of humanism, that humans as a whole make sense, and we're doing our best. He's not interested in optimism being used to invalidate pessimism or pessimism being used to invalidate optimism. NPC - Non-Playable or Non-Player Character: a term from gaming that refers to characters that cannot be played by the person playing the game. (Source: wikipedia).Nap Minister, Tricia Hersey and her book, Rest is ResistanceTrickster Archetype: (from Wikipedia): "a character in a story who exhibits a great degree of intellect or secret knowledge and uses it to play tricks or otherwise disobey normal rules and defy conventional behavior." Examples Isabelle mentioned include: Loki (norse mythology and the Marvel Universe), Anansi (Ashanti folklore)ADHD's links to optimism:The Positive Aspects of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Qualitative Investigation of Successful Adults with ADHD (Source: ADHD Springer Journal)Incautiously Optimistic: Positively Valenced Cognitive Avoidance in Adult ADHD (Source: NIH/Cogn. Beh. Pract.)

In this episode, I talk about dealing with an overactive mind, how to give our worries up to prayer, having a relationship with God like a best friend, removing the assumptions we have in our head, creating more ease in our lives and more.Follow me on Instagram @mattgottesmanJump on my weekly texts for the soul here 480-530-7352My writing mattgottesman.substack.com → Apparel (The Niche is You™) - Designs by me - thenicheisyou.com→ Recommended Book List - CLICK HEREFREE WORKSHOPS:→ Need MORE clarity? - Here's the FREE… 6 Days to Clarity Workshop - clarity for your time, energy, money, creativity, work & play→ Need MORE focus? - Here's our FREE Goal Planning Workshop 1-page templates for focus, priorities & defining clear, actionable next steps→ Need MORE money? - Here's our FREE Get Paid For Your Genius Workshop - steps to align your value with what you get paidMASTERCLASSES:→ Write, Design, Build: Content Creator Studio & OS - Growing the niche of you, your audience, reach, voice, passion & incomeCOMMUNITIES:→ Need a CREW to run with? - Join our… Build 1 Thing Creator Community (Weekly Live Coaching & Monthly Workshops) - Get unstuck, avoid burnout, hack habits, create & execute fluidly… accountability & growth group for artists, creatives and entrepreneurs.OTHER RELATED EPISODES:The More Important a Call or Action, the More Resistance We Will Feel Pursuing itApple: https://apple.co/4f7HqjoSpotify: https://spoti.fi/4eS0imI

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