Podcasts about Larry Cohen

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I interviewed Hayden Ahlbrandt, a certified Synergetic Play Therapist. Hayden shares some really helpful thoughts and strategies on both how we can prevent meltdowns and how best to support our child—and ourselves—once we find ourselves with a meltdown on our hands. We focus on connection, co-regulation, mindfulness, and creating safety.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!And if you love the podcast, FREE ways to help us out:1- Rate and review the podcast in your podcast player app2- “Like” this post by tapping the heart icon ♥️3- Share this with a friend. THANK YOU!We talk about:* 00:00 – Sarah introduces Hayden Ahlbrandt, certified Synergetic Play Therapist. Overview of meltdowns, regulation, and co-regulation* 05:25 – Viewing behavior through a nervous system lens* 10:30 – Understanding Meltdowns Through the “Pop Bottle” Analogy* 12:00 – Why some days kids can handle more than others* 1:00 – “Regulation Is Connection to Self” - Helping kids discover what naturally regulates them* 20:00 – Why Regulation Tools Need to be Practiced Outside Meltdowns* 22:00 – Preventing Meltdowns* 24:00 – The Three Rs: Regulate, Relate, Reason* 30:00 – Mindfulness and Co-Regulation* 32:30 – The Parent's Nervous System* 36:00 – Aggression During Meltdowns* 38:30 – Making the Environment Feel Safer* 42:00 – Parenting Advice Hayden Wishes He'd Known EarlierResources mentioned in this episode:* Hayden's website * Hayden's IG @lowtideplaytherapist* Synergetic Play Therapy Institute* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Evelyn & Bobbie brasConnect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the fall for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HERESarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast.Today's guest is Hayden Ahlbrandt. Hayden is a certified Synergetic Play Therapist who lights up at any opportunity to teach, educate, and support adults in how they can best support the children in their lives.He specializes in meltdowns, and that's what we're going to be talking about today. Hayden shares some really helpful thoughts and strategies on both how we can prevent meltdowns and how best to support our child—and ourselves—once we find ourselves with a meltdown on our hands.I think you're going to find this episode really useful, no matter how old your child is. One thing I really appreciate is that Hayden sees meltdowns through the lens of the nervous system and in terms of regulation, dysregulation, and co-regulation.I'm definitely going to be thinking about a phrase he shared: “Regulation is connection to self.”If you like this episode, please share it with a friend. Word of mouth is the best way to get more eyes and ears on the podcast.If you're a fan of the podcast, you can help us out not only by sharing it, but by leaving a review and a five-star rating in your podcast player app. While you're there, don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss an episode.If you'd like to support us even more, you can become a supporter on Substack to help us offset the cost of making the show.You can also check out our sponsors: Yoto Audio Players for Kids, a screen-free alternative that makes listening, learning, and entertainment easy with no screens, and Evelyn & Bobbie Bras, the most comfortable and flattering bra I've ever worn.Links are in the show notes.Okay, let's meet Hayden.Sarah: Hi, Hayden. Welcome to the podcast.Hayden: Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here.Sarah: Yeah, I'm excited to have you. I found you on Instagram, and I love all the reels that you make. I love your energy and how you show up for parents so they can show up for their kids. So I'm really glad to have you on the podcast.Hayden: I appreciate that.Sarah: Tell us about who you are and what you do.Hayden: Yeah. Well, obviously, my name's Hayden.I'm a certified Synergetic Play Therapist, and I have my own play therapy practice. Like you mentioned, my Instagram has become something I've had a lot of fun doing. It's really given me an avenue to work with adults and support them in how we support kids.So I kind of have a two-pronged approach right now. I work with kids in my play therapy practice, but I also do a lot of speaking, presenting, workshops, and that kind of thing—giving parents the tools from the training I have so they can better support kids.My specialization has really become focused on big behaviors and meltdowns. I also work with a lot of anxiety.So that's the quick elevator speech.Sarah: Yeah, it makes sense because you have the kids for maybe an hour a week—or whatever your typical amount is—but then they're off with their parents for all of the rest of the days and hours of the week.If parents don't know how to support them during that time, it probably makes your job not work as well, right?Hayden: Yeah, definitely.I always explain it as wraparound support. I think we can do so much in our time together and in our work during sessions, but things are just going to move so much quicker when parents are involved.Ultimately, that's how I view my work as a play therapist. We're not trying to make drastic changes or fix things. We're trying to help the child feel better because, typically, when they're coming in, it's because something in their world feels really big, really hard, or really challenging, and that's coming out as behaviors.Sarah: Right.Hayden: I kind of view it that way. We're trying to help the child feel better, which is going to help the whole family system feel better.Typically, with the kinds of things I mentioned—if a child is having really big, intense meltdowns that are above and beyond what's developmentally appropriate—it can be really hard on the entire family system: siblings, parents, whoever it might be.I talk about it as creating as much wraparound support as possible because it's going to help the child work through whatever feels clogged for them in that moment.Sarah: What's a Synergetic Play Therapist?Hayden: Yeah. Synergetic Play Therapy is a modality, an approach—a specific type of play therapy.The way I typically explain it is that we're really working through the lens of nervous system regulation.That's one of the core tenets of Synergetic Play Therapy: viewing the behaviors we're seeing as symptoms of nervous system activation.So when we're talking about anxiety, meltdowns, or big behaviors, we're viewing those as symptoms that the nervous system is activating.Sarah: Yeah, that's really aligned with the work that I do, too, teaching parents about their kids' big behaviors.You mentioned before we started recording that your oldest child is six. Were you a play therapist before you had kids?Hayden: Yes, briefly.I actually started out in schools. I was working as an elementary school counselor when I finished my graduate program in counseling.The opportunity to explore Synergetic Play Therapy kind of fell into my lap while I was doing that.There's now something called the Synergetic Education Institute, and their whole approach is bringing neuroscience and nervous system understanding into school settings.We were one of what I would call the pilot programs for that. As they were figuring out what worked, what didn't work, and how they wanted to implement it, we started bringing these ideas into our school setting to change the school culture and ask, “How do we support the behaviors we're seeing?”In my school counseling role, I was given the opportunity to start learning more about this.As I did, I thought, This is magic. I love doing this.Sarah: That's so cool.Hayden: Talk about fate.So it was one of those things where I liked working in schools, but doing this in a private practice setting and working one-on-one with a child felt like what I was meant to do.I just loved it.I still enjoy the adult piece. I mentioned that earlier. I like supporting educators, and that's something I bring into my Instagram content sometimes—helping classroom teachers think about how to bring these ideas into the school setting.Ultimately, though, I found that I really enjoy being in the role of working one-on-one with the child.That's what my school opportunity allowed me to do, and it's how I got to where I am now and what I feel I specialize in.I was being called in to support behaviors, so I really learned how to implement this one-on-one while supporting a child.I always say I have the utmost admiration for teachers who are trying to learn this, do this, and implement this with 25 or 30 kids in a classroom.Sarah: Seriously.Hayden: That is a whole different beast than sitting one-on-one with a child and co-regulating.Sarah: It's so needed, though.I find, through the clients I work with, that when kids are having trouble at school, most teachers and administrators are not very aware of the nervous system and how that factors into behavior.So it's great that there are people out there trying to bring that understanding into schools.Just as an aside, do you have any resources for parents who are listening and want their school to be more nervous-system informed? Do you have any resources we could share in the show notes?Hayden: Yeah.My free resources page has some templates and tools that start creating that understanding.Honestly, I think my Instagram is a great place to start because what I try to do there is take these big topics and make them really simple. We're trying to fit them into one-minute videos, so my goal is to give people a little bit of the understanding in a really accessible way.Another resource is the Synergetic Education Institute.Sarah: Great.Hayden: That's their entire focus: bringing this into districts and schools. I'm always happy to share them as a resource because that's exactly what they're doing.Sarah: Perfect. We'll share those in the show notes.Okay, so you've mentioned meltdowns a couple of times and that a lot of your work centers around helping parents and kids when meltdowns and big behaviors are an issue. One of the reels I saw when I was preparing for this interview was the one where you were using the pop bottle analogy. And I think some people may have heard about that, but maybe you could explain the pop bottle analogy and how that relates to meltdowns.Then we'll talk about what we can do preventively. What I always say to parents is that when you have meltdowns, there's what you do in the moment, but there's also everything that was leading up to the moment.You can be preventative about meltdowns, and sometimes that really helps a lot. Other times, you try, but you still find yourself in that meltdown space.What I'd like to get from you today is both the preventative piece and the in-the-moment piece.But back to the pop bottle. Maybe you could explain that analogy and then talk about how it factors into thinking about prevention.Hayden: Yeah, definitely.The one you're referring to, I've previously explained to families I work with as almost like a pressure gauge.Things are building and building, and the pop bottle came to mind because if you're shaking up a bottle of pop and you open it all at once, it's going to explode everywhere.The picture I was trying to create is: can we open it a little bit and close it, then open it a little bit and close it? Can we let a little bit of steam off throughout the course of the day?Going back to the pressure gauge analogy, how do we let a little bit off so it's not ready to explode at any given moment?That's how I think about the preventative side. How do we bring in little bits of regulation throughout the day so we can let off some of that steam?I think there are a couple of ideas that help this make sense. One is the concept of the window of tolerance. The window of tolerance is basically how much stress your nervous system can tolerate before you become dysregulated.It's that same idea: as the pressure builds, that window gets smaller and smaller.Sarah: And if I could just jump in, bringing that back to the pop bottle analogy: if you imagine your child as a bottle of pop, some kids can take 25 shakes of the bottle and not have much pressure build up, while other kids might only take one or two shakes before the pressure starts building.That's the window of tolerance, right? How many stressors can your nervous system deal with before you move outside that window of tolerance?Hayden: Exactly. And the thing I always add when I'm talking to people about this is that our window of tolerance is not static. Some days I might be able to handle 20 shakes. Other days it might be one or two. It's going to depend on things like whether I'm hungry. We've all heard the term hangry, right? You're quicker to frustration if your body is hungry. Or tired. Having little kids, right? The nights I sleep less—Sarah: Yeah.Hayden: —I'm just easier to frustrate.Sarah: Totally.Hayden: So it's this idea that it's not static. It's not like your child operates at one fixed level.They may have a general baseline, but there are things that will widen or narrow that window. Maybe I did something today that I'm really proud of, and that widens my window. I can take on a little bit more because I'm feeling good about myself.Or maybe I skipped breakfast and I'm a little hangry, so I'm quicker to frustration. It's both-and.The other piece I was going to tie in here is the way I've come to think about regulation, which really comes from my training in Synergetic Play Therapy. Lisa Dion, who created this modality, explains regulation as connection to self.The way I like to explain that is this: In adult language, we've all heard people say, “I was so mad I blacked out,” or, “I was so mad I was seeing red.”The idea is that the emotion overwhelmed you and you kind of disconnected from yourself.When we think about regulation, it's not just take a deep breath. Sometimes that might be what I need in the moment, but sometimes it isn't what helps me come back to myself when things feel really big or overwhelming.One of the things I like to do when I'm working with families is figure out how their child naturally regulates already. Do they like proprioceptive input? Do they like deep pressure? Do they like to jump and crash into things?Sarah: Can you explain proprioceptive input?Hayden: Yeah. Really, it's our sensory system's way of figuring out where our body is in space. The examples I just mentioned are ways kids get proprioceptive input. That deep pressure gives the sensation of, My body is right here. Jumping and crashing into things does the same thing.A lot of times, parents describe their kids as being like a bull in a china shop. They're bumping into things and seem to have a hard time figuring out where their body is in space. Whenever I talk about this, I always say that my understanding of it really comes more from the occupational therapy world. I know enough to talk about it, but it's not my primary area of expertise.What I focus on is asking: if we see that's the way our child regulates, how do we intentionally bring more of it in? For adults, when I think about regulating myself, sometimes I feel like I need to give myself a little massage, or rub my head, or apply some pressure. We all do that thing where we go, ugh, or rub our hands against our cheeks when we're overwhelmed.That's proprioceptive input. Sometimes that kind of input is really regulating.Other examples might be movement or heavy work—pushing and pulling activities. If we see our kids doing some of these things instinctively or intuitively, how do we meet that and bring it into those moments so it becomes a regulatory tool? All of that comes back to the idea that if we can give children little bits of regulation throughout the course of the day, it's not a magic fix, but it lets a little steam out of the pop bottle.The goal is to create more capacity and help widen that window of tolerance so they aren't right on the edge of exploding all the time. I always like to add that caveat: it's not the magic fix.Doing these things doesn't mean there will never be another meltdown. What I really try to teach adults is: how do we help children have these experiences and learn how to do these things? Because what we're really doing is laying the groundwork for them to eventually be able to do these things on their own.Above all else, I don't want parents to think they're failing if their child is still having meltdowns. It doesn't mean it's not working. We're helping them discover what helps them in those moments so they build templates they can keep returning to over and over again.Sarah: What are some other things that parents might notice their kids do that, after listening to this conversation, they might think, Ah, that's my child instinctively knowing what regulates them?I'm thinking of my nine-year-old niece. She finds jumping very regulating, so she uses a trampoline and jump rope. My sister eventually realized, “Oh, she seems a lot calmer after she's been doing those things.”What are some other things parents might notice that are instinctively regulating?Hayden: Going back to the idea that regulation is connection to self, I've come to talk about it as something that can almost be anything.What do you notice your child doing that seems to genuinely help them? The examples you mentioned are great ones. Jumping. Spinning. Those are common.As you were talking, I was thinking back to a training I did with Lisa Dion.She talked about these umbrella categories—not necessarily saying they are regulation, but that they can help us generate ideas. One category was stillness. Like you mentioned: lying down, being quiet, reading a book.Another category was movement, which is the opposite end of the spectrum—jumping, spinning, stomping. Then there's the proprioceptive input we talked about before: deep pressure, giving yourself a massage.And the last one was breath. Breathwork can absolutely be a fantastic tool.But I think we often get sucked into this idea that here's a regulation strategy—use it and it'll help.Sarah: Right.Hayden: But when we think about our own experience, I think we often approach it from the mindset of, Here's a strategy to give my kid, and they'll use it and feel better. I think about my own experience. Through this work, I've realized how anxious I was as a kid, so working on my anxiety has been a long process for me. And when I'm feeling anxious, doing a breathing exercise for 10 seconds doesn't make the anxiety disappear. It might not be what I need in that moment. I might need to get up and burn some energy. I might need to go for a run.The real question is: what do I need in that moment to help move that energy and help me come back to myself?Sarah: Right. And as you point out, if regulation is connection to self, it's different for everybody. I think you're right that the thing parents hear most often is, “Just take a deep breath.” There are all these strategies—pretend you're blowing on hot chocolate and all of that. Maybe that works for some kids, but for other kids it won't help at all.Hayden: Definitely. And to build on that, before I learned a lot of this—and what I hear from parents all the time—is: “My kid won't do any of these strategies.”Even if we have a toolbox and say, “Here's 20 ideas, let's figure out which one works,” their child won't do any of them in the moment. Because they're dysregulated.Absolutely. You're right that Part 3 drifted back into a transcript layout with too many short paragraphs.Here's the same section in the publishing-ready style you've asked for: bold speaker names, no content removed, no summarizing, but with natural paragraphs and cleaner flow.Sarah: Yeah.Hayden: And I think we can get into all the science-y reasons why that makes sense, but the bigger picture is this: what I try to do on my Instagram is ask, How can we make this fun and playful? How can we make it something kids actually want to do?You mentioned things like blowing on hot chocolate. One of the things I really try to do is help people build a toolbox of ways to make regulation fun and playful. Thinking about our own adult experience, if I'm frustrated and my partner comes in and tells me, “Calm down,” or, “Take a deep breath,” my response is probably going to be, “Absolutely not.” It just makes me more frustrated.So how do we make it a fun and playful invitation rather than saying, “I'm telling you to do this because I'm noticing you're upset”?Some of those breathing activities can become games. One of the things I talk about is practicing these things in regulated moments so that when your child is dysregulated and you bring them in, they think, Oh, I know what's happening. We play this all the time.Again, none of this means it's going to work every single time, but it gives us—Sarah: I just want to highlight what you said because I think it's really important. If you're only using these strategies when your child is dysregulated, they're going to develop a negative association with them. Partly, I think they'll feel manipulated. They'll think, Oh, my parent is just trying to get me to calm down.And they'll be resistant because they associate those strategies with negative feelings and experiences. So I love that you're saying to do these regulating things at other times too and make them positive experiences that you can draw on later rather than just tools you pull out to end a meltdown.Hayden: Definitely.And just to tie in some of the science behind it, when we think about this from a nervous system lens, dysregulation is our body sounding the alarm bells and saying, There's something happening here that requires activation.When we're talking about meltdowns, that's typically the nervous system escalating into a fight-or-flight response. If we think about fight-or-flight biologically, its primary goal is to keep us alive. That's why we move into that state.So if we're trying to get our child to do anything in that moment, it makes sense that we'd get an immediate response of, I'm not trusting anything right now because my goal is survival.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Hayden: When we practice these things during regulated moments—when they're not in those big emotional states—it becomes familiar. It's not, I've never tried that before. I don't know if it'll work. It's, Oh, we do that all the time. That's fun. That's familiar. I know that.Again, it doesn't mean they're necessarily going to jump right into it, but it gives us a much better chance than saying, “Hey, here's this thing we've never done before. I know your body is biologically trying to stay alive right now, but trust me and try it.”Because the biological response would be, “Absolutely not.”Sarah: Right. That makes sense.We've drifted a little into what to do in the moment of a meltdown, which is great, but is there anything else you wanted to add about prevention? You mentioned making sure resources are high—things like hunger, tiredness, and those sorts of factors. You talked about opening the pressure valve throughout the day with regulating activities.Is there anything else you've noticed that helps when a child is having a lot of meltdowns?Hayden: Yeah. I think those are some of the biggest things.My whole approach is rooted in connection as well. A lot of times, parents tell me that sometimes they can catch it—they can see the signs that a meltdown is coming—and other times it feels like things go from zero to 100.If we're able to notice those signs that things are building, that our child seems more on edge or more hypervigilant, that becomes a great time to bring in some of these strategies. But tying it back to what we've already talked about, I want to do that from a place of connection.It's, Hey, I'm right here with you. Let's do this together.Not, Here's a strategy. Go do it by yourself.Because connection itself is incredibly regulating.Sarah: So the whole co-regulation piece.Hayden: Exactly. It's kind of a both-and situation. We can use connection before the meltdown, and we can use it as we're moving into one.I wanted to bring that in because connection itself can be a regulatory tool. And it also ties into your next question.Sarah: What about empathy? You were talking a lot about connection, and to me they go hand in hand. Do you find yourself talking about empathy very much with parents?Hayden: Yes. Typically, we talk about it more in the moment, although it fits into both areas.One of the reasons we focus on it during the moment is because I teach parents about Bruce Perry's Three Rs: Regulate, Relate, Reason.I really like this framework because it helps us understand where a child is in their brain and how we should meet them there.If they're operating from their brainstem—the lowest, survival-oriented part of the brain—we meet them with regulation.Sarah: That's the fight-or-flight part.Hayden: Typically, yes.Then the next level up is the limbic system, which is our emotional control center.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Hayden: There we meet them through relating, or what parents often hear called validation.Then, when they're operating from the cortex—the highest part of the brain—we can reason with them.The reason I'm bringing this up is that empathy really lives in that relating stage. That's where we're saying, I'm in this with you. This feels frustrating. This feels overwhelming. This feels scary.That's where empathy naturally fits.So if I'm noticing my child starting to become emotional and I sense that we're moving toward a bigger meltdown, that's a great opportunity to step into that relating and validating stage and connect empathetically.Sarah: Okay, nice. So reason is when they're not really losing it yet? That's when we might explain why they can't climb the bookshelf or something like that?Hayden: Right. Reasoning is when they're logical and rational.Sarah: Thinking clearly.Hayden: Exactly.That's when logical conversations make sense.One question I get a lot is, “How do I know where my child is?” And the truth is, you probably don't always know. It's a bit of feeling out the situation.You might notice that you're trying to be logical and rational, but it's not landing. That's your clue.Sarah: Right.Hayden: At that point, we drop down a level and try validating or relating. Or maybe we're supporting a big meltdown and we're regulating, and then we try saying, I get it. This feels really frustrating, and it only gets bigger.Okay, that didn't land. Let's drop back down and spend more time regulating.Sarah: Right.Hayden: It's an ebb and flow. We're trying things and seeing what works.Sarah: I love that framework. It's really helpful to think about what to do when something isn't landing.I saw you talking about that on Instagram, and it reminded me of Larry Cohen's work. In The Opposite of Worry, he says that if reassurance doesn't work within 20 seconds, it's not going to work. When a child is anxious, they're not operating from the reasoning part of their brain.And I think the same thing probably applies here. If your child is moving into a meltdown and your explanation doesn't work within 20 seconds, it's probably not going to work.Hayden: Definitely. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but if it's not landing, it's not suddenly going to start landing.And it gives us the opposite lesson too. When we're supporting a meltdown, we so often want to fix it. We want to move right into being logical and rational. Or sometimes we jump to consequences. We're giving consequences in the middle of the meltdown.None of that is going to land.Working in schools, I saw this all the time. “You'll have to finish your homework at home,” or taking away recess. The child doesn't care because they're not operating from the part of the brain that cares about those things in that moment.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Hayden: All of those conversations—making amends, talking about what happened, figuring out solutions—can absolutely happen. But they need to happen when the brain is ready for them.Sarah: Right. Not during the meltdown.Hayden: Exactly.Sarah: What else do you want parents to know about those meltdown moments?Hayden: My approach is very co-regulatory. The Three Rs are a great foundation because they help us understand that first step of regulation, then relating, then reasoning.There are lots of things we can do within that framework.One thing I hear from parents all the time is, “So am I just supposed to sit here with my child for an hour while they melt down? I can only keep my cool for so long.”And my response is: I totally get that. That's valid.Co-regulation doesn't mean sitting there forever doing nothing. Yes, a big part of our goal is allowing them to have their emotional experience rather than shutting it down. But another big part of our goal is teaching them how to regulate when things feel overwhelming.So I like to bring in little invitations. They're probably not going to do exactly what I tell them to do, but I can offer invitations back to themselves.One of my favorite ways to do that is mindfulness.And when I say mindfulness, I don't necessarily mean trying to get my child to do something. Instead, I'm having a mindful experience myself and offering it as a gentle invitation.For example, if we're sitting together and I'm regulating myself, I might say, “Oh, there's a squirrel in the tree outside.”It's just an observation. I'm not telling them they have to look.But as they start moving up through the brain and through that Three Rs framework, sometimes they'll suddenly say, “Oh, I want to see the squirrel.”Or I might notice, “The air from the fan feels cool on my face.”It's just an observation. I'm not directing them. I'm simply staying present and offering little invitations back into the present moment.Sometimes they don't care. Sometimes it even escalates them. But I'm making those observations for myself first.As I'm keeping myself regulated, I'm giving them opportunities to join me in the present moment.Going back to regulation as connection to self, they're disconnected from themselves in those moments. They're overwhelmed by emotion.So the goal of mindfulness is to gently invite them back into the present moment with me. If you're in the present moment, you're here. You're noticing what's around you.That's why I like to bring mindfulness into these conversations. Because no, you don't have to sit there doing nothing while waiting for it to end. There are things we can do to help bring our children back to the present moment.First, by keeping ourselves regulated. If I'm staying mindful and present, it keeps me from losing myself.Second, it teaches them what it looks like to come back when things feel overwhelming.Sarah: That makes a lot of sense.What do you find gets in the way of parents being able to do that? Are there common stories they're telling themselves? Fears they have?In my work, I hear things like, If they're like this at five, what are they going to be like at fifteen? Or, Nobody else's kid acts like this.Things like that.Hayden: Absolutely.My answer to both of those is usually the same: our own dysregulation.I talk about this from the theoretical soapbox of Here's the ideal model. But I tell every family I work with: this is the water I swim in every day, and I still don't get it right every time.I'm a human being. I have my own activation.When I hear examples like the ones you mentioned, those are usually signs of dysregulation. If my mind is spiraling into the future, that's a clue that I'm no longer present. I'm worried about something else.So none of this is to say that staying regulated is easy. It's completely natural to become dysregulated when we're around dysregulation.At the same time, the more we practice it, the easier it becomes. It's like yoga. The more we practice, the more accessible it gets.I think one of the biggest challenges is the guilt and shame parents feel. They think, But I get dysregulated. And my response is: that's okay.When we're supporting a meltdown, it might look like staying regulated the whole time. But more often, it looks like a dance. I regulate. I notice I'm getting dysregulated. I come back to myself. Then I regulate again.That cycle happens throughout the experience. It doesn't mean you have to stay perfectly regulated from beginning to end. And honestly, there's benefit in both versions. If I stay regulated, I'm creating a calm space. But if I become dysregulated and then regulate myself again, I'm also modeling something really powerful.I'm showing my child:“I disconnected, and now I'm back.”“I disconnected, and now I'm back.”We so often think we have to teach children by telling them what to do. But there is tremendous power in modeling it. Simply showing them what regulation looks like when things feel really big and overwhelming is teaching them.Here's Part 4 cleaned up in the same publishing-ready style as the revised Part 3: all content preserved, no summarizing, no omissions, bold speaker names, and natural paragraphs rather than one-line transcript formatting.Sarah: Options.Hayden: It might not be that they turn around and do these things immediately, but we are showing them, “Look, I'm right here with you. I get overwhelmed. I get dysregulated.”And one last thought within that: so often I hear this from the kids I work with—“Nobody else is like this. I'm the only one who feels this way. I'm the only one who gets so overwhelmed by my anger.”Sarah: Aw.Hayden: So I think there's so much normalization in naming our own experience. Maybe it's naming our own experience, but maybe it's even just showing them: “Ah, I got really frustrated, and now I'm coming back and regulating myself. I'm making repair. I'm taking accountability for it.”All of those pieces matter. There's power in all of them, I think, and that's something I hope I get across to the families I work with. I think there's often this guilt or shame of, “I'm not doing a good job at this.”And it's like, there's value in all of these things when you can bring some intentionality to them.Sarah: I love that.I'm kind of springing this on you, and I don't know if I've seen you talk about this specifically in your reels, but do you have any specific strategies for aggression that comes with a meltdown?Hayden: Yeah.I think the thing that's really tricky with aggression is that, especially when we're talking on social media, I'm not there. I don't know your kid. So it's really hard for me to tell you exactly how to support them in the moment.I always start with a very generic statement: we have to create safety first.I can't tell you exactly what that's going to look like because every situation is different. But you have to make sure you're safe, your child is safe, their siblings are safe, their friends are safe—whoever is around needs to be safe.We have to create physical safety first and foremost.Then, from there, I think it's helpful to understand that the fight-or-flight response is what's happening. It would make sense that we've reached a level where things have gotten so big that the child is now fighting. That's the response that's happening.In that moment, we're really trying to communicate, “This isn't warranted right now. You don't need to be in a fight response.”The ways we do that include the co-regulation we've already talked about, but also being very aware of how we're presenting ourselves.How are we appearing? Are we cornering them? Are we standing high above them? Can we get down to their level?Those subtle things can send the message: “Everything is activated. The alarm bells are going off. There's this thing hovering over me. I'm cornered in my room, so I have to fight my way out.”Can we bring just a little bit of awareness to those dynamics, as best we're able, once we've created safety?Some of those pieces can be really difficult because we're trying to keep our kids safe. We may need to be in their personal space to prevent them from hurting themselves.But once we get to a place where they're no longer actively hurting themselves, can we begin sending signals that—Sarah: That they're safe and that you're not a threat.Hayden: Exactly.And it's not even necessarily that you are the threat. It's more about asking, What can we do to help simmer things down a little bit?One of the other things that comes to mind is talking less and keeping things really simple.If they're in that level of activation, it's not the time to reason. It's probably not the time to talk about how frustrating the situation is for them.Sarah: Right.Hayden: It might simply be:“I'm right here.”Sarah: Yeah.Hayden: “I'm right here.”Just a steady presence. Keeping it calm, quiet, and simple.“You are safe.”Really short, simple phrases.I think another idea that comes to mind is thinking about the activation in the body. When we're talking about nervous system activation and fight or flight, things are escalating. Things are speeding up. That energy is getting big.It makes sense that it's coming out through the extremities—through hitting, kicking, biting, screaming. The energy is trying to get out of the body.So if our child is hitting, can we find a way for them to move that energy through their hands?Maybe I have a pillow and I'm letting them push against it.Again, this has to be balanced with safety. I can't tell every parent, “This is what you should do every time.” But with some children—especially smaller children—if their arms are flying around, I might be able to create a situation where they can push against a pillow.If they're kicking and their legs are flailing, can we do something similar where their feet are pushing against something?We're giving some proprioceptive input while simultaneously allowing the energy to move through the part of the body that's already showing us where that energy wants to go.Sarah: That makes sense.When you were talking about creating safety through your physical presence when someone's having a meltdown, I was reminded of something.It's funny—I don't know if you find this in your work—but sometimes I use an analogy or example for years and then kind of forget about it.I was reminded that I used to talk to parents about pretending they'd just come across a wild dog that was acting aggressively. I'd ask them, “What would you do to get past this wild dog?”They're always saying things like, “Well, I'd talk softly. I'd get lower. I'd...”Instinctively, we all seem to have a sense of how to demonstrate to another creature that we're not a threat.And then I'd say, “Okay. Do that with your kid. Do that with your kid.”What you were saying reminded me of that.Hayden: Absolutely.I think that visual of a cornered animal is a really powerful one because it makes sense.As you were talking, I was thinking about a book by Dr. Stuart Brown about play. One of the things he talked about was how animals have this moment of uncertainty when they encounter each other.It's almost like they're asking, “Are you a threat or not?”If two dogs are approaching each other, there's this moment where they're feeling each other out. We don't know which direction it's going to go until they determine things are okay. Then their tails start wagging, and they begin jumping around and playing.But first there's that period of interaction where they're assessing the situation.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Hayden: That's the idea we're talking about here.One of the things I discuss is using playfulness as a strategy to support regulation—even sometimes during meltdowns. This is a little different from the aggression question, but it connects.If I come in trying to be playful when a child's brain is trying to figure out what's happening, they may think, “Wait, what is going on? I don't understand this.”It can almost feel like an uncertain threat.Sarah: Or, “Are they making fun of me?”Hayden: Exactly.And so it's the same principle we've been talking about throughout this conversation.We're trying to lay a foundation. When I talk about co-regulation, we're really trying to co-regulate the environment.It's not necessarily about getting our child to do something. It's about decreasing the intensity of the environment.Whether we're talking about aggression or anything else, can we be intentional about helping the environment feel a little less intense?Can we help our child feel safe enough to move out of that fight-or-flight state?Sarah: Fantastic. This has been so helpful, Hayden.Before I let you go, there's one question I ask all my guests. If you could go back in time—and for you it's not that far back because your kids are still little—and tell your younger parent self something, what advice would you give yourself?Hayden: I think—and this may be a controversial one—but I would tell myself to take myself less seriously.There are so many stressors. There are so many things we think we have to do. We have to be on time. We have to present ourselves a certain way. We have to manage all these responsibilities.Just have some fun.Take yourself a little less seriously and bring in more silliness, fun, and playfulness.That's something I really try to communicate now. It's why I bring playful strategies into my work.When I think about the beginning of parenthood and how overwhelming it was—having little kids, trying to balance everything, coming out of COVID when everything felt weird—I wish I had remembered to enjoy it more.And that's not to say it's always fun, enjoyable, or easy.But it also doesn't need to feel stressful all the time.Sarah: I got you.And if that's controversial, it shouldn't be.It reminds me of when I worked in early childhood education before I had kids. I used to go home and say to my husband, “Oh my God, parents are crazy.”I shouldn't use ableist language, but I didn't know another way to describe it at the time. I couldn't understand how parents could get so upset about things.Then I became a parent and thought, “Oh my gosh, I totally get it.”But it's that reminder that things aren't all-or-nothing.When I look back now—and I'm in a very different stage of parenting—I think about things that felt like a huge deal when my kids were little. Things I worried about endlessly.And now I think, “I wish I hadn't taken that so seriously.”I wish I could have remembered that they were all eventually going to sleep through the night.Hayden: Mm-hmm.My partner has brought in this language that I really love:“You are more important than whatever.”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Hayden: So, “You are more important than us being on time to this event.”Or, “You are more important than the glass of milk that got knocked over.”Sarah: That's beautiful.Hayden: It's just a reframe.Yes, that thing happened. But you are more important than that thing.Sarah: That's beautiful. I love that.Hayden: Yeah.Sarah: We'll put links in the show notes, but if you want to give a shout-out to your Instagram account, it sounds like that's probably the best place for people to learn more about you and what you do.Hayden: Yeah, I think that's a great place to start because it gives people a little more of what I do.My Instagram is Low Tide Play Therapist, and that's probably the best landing spot.Then the more business-focused side is lowtidecoaching.com.Sarah: Great.What's the story behind Low Tide?Hayden: It's actually how I named my play therapy practice.At the time, we were living in Wilmington, North Carolina. We only had one child, and I was wrestling with what I wanted to call the practice.Our child was very young, and suddenly the ocean felt a little intimidating. That was a new experience for me because it hadn't felt that way before.One day we went to the beach during low tide. There were little tide pools everywhere, and it felt very safe and non-threatening.And ultimately, I think that's what play is.It's a space where we can explore things that feel big, challenging, or overwhelming in an environment where there aren't huge stakes attached to them.As I watched my child playing in those tide pools—with no giant waves, no threat—I thought:“That's it. That's the name.”Low Tide Play Therapy.Sarah: I'm glad I asked because that's a great story.Hayden: Yeah.Sarah: Well, thank you so much.Hayden: Thank you. I appreciate it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Horror history gets weird, reflective, and dangerously snackable this week as This Week in Horror History travels through June 8–14 with mischievous monsters, haunted hotels, supernatural comedy, demonic hauntings, creepy mirrors, and one killer dessert that may be eating America alive.This episode digs into a packed week of classic horror movies, cult horror sequels, supernatural blockbusters, 1980s horror, haunted-house horror, and strange consumer-satire body horror, including the release of Gremlins, the same-day arrival of Ghostbusters, the wider theatrical expansion of The Shining, the hit sequel The Conjuring 2, and the mirror-filled nightmare of Poltergeist III.Inside this episode:• Gremlins turns one cute little mogwai into small-town monster chaos and helps push Hollywood toward the PG-13 rating.• Ghostbusters brings haunted libraries, demonic possession, rooftop apocalypse, and paranormal exterminators into one of the biggest supernatural comedy franchises ever.• The Shining expands wider in U.S. theaters, pulling more audiences into Stanley Kubrick's cold, hypnotic nightmare inside the Overlook Hotel.• The Conjuring 2 sends Ed and Lorraine Warren to the Enfield haunting and introduces one of modern horror's most memorable demonic figures.• The Deep-Cut Spotlight goes to Poltergeist III, the strange 1988 sequel that traps Carol Anne inside a haunted Chicago high-rise full of mirrors, elevators, cold hallways, and unfinished supernatural business.Plus: a horror birthday roll featuring Johnny Depp, Natalie Portman, Jurgen Prochnow, and Adrienne Barbeau, a creepy look at how horror sneaks into family homes, hotels, corporate towers, grocery aisles, and blockbuster comedy, and a weekly recommendation for Larry Cohen's weird, gross, and sharply satirical cult classic The Stuff.From mogwai mayhem and ghost exterminators to haunted reflections, demonic forces, the Overlook Hotel, and a mysterious dessert that might be consuming its customers from the inside out, this week proves horror can invade almost anything: your home, your hotel room, your movie theater, your refrigerator, and your appetite.

EPISODE #482-- We slam headfirst into the car crash of a genre-bender, GOD TOLD ME TO (1976), which tries to combine a police procedural, UFOs, horror, and, I don't know what else, into a real must-see mess of a movie. Seriously. It's almsot good at every single turn. It begs to be watched. We also chat about George Clozeau's LE CORBEAU (1943), Tim Burton's BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE (2025), Carol Reed's NIGHT TRAIN TO MUNICH (1940), and Alfred Hitchcock's THE LADY VANISHES (1938). Do we talk about other movies? Yes. Many. If you want to a list of them, check out our Patreon! LINKS-- Join the cause at Patreon.com/Quality. Follow the us on on Bluesky at kislingconnection and cruzflores, on Instagram @kislingwhatsit, and on Tiktok @kislingkino. You can watch Cruz and show favorite Alexis Simpson on You Tube in THEY LIVE TOGETHER. Thanks to our artists Julius Tanag  and Sef Joosten. The theme music is "Eine Kleine Sheissemusik" by Drew Alexander. Also, I've got a newsletter on Substack, so maybe go check that one out, too. Listen to DRACULA: A RADIO PLAY on Apple Podcasts, at dracularadio.podbean.com, and at the Long Beach Playhouse at https://lbplayhouse.org/show/dracula And, as always, Support your local unions! UAW, SAG-AFTRA, and WGA strong and please leave us a review on iTunes or whatever podcatcher you listened to us on!

We're back with another installment of Haunted Haul, this time diving into the 1985 Larry Cohen cult classic, The Stuff. We break down the film, its satire of American consumerism, and the stellar 2025 4K release from Arrow Video. Check it out, because when it comes to The Stuff, enough is never enough.   If you would like to support Haunted Hangover, consider becoming a member of our Patreon and gain access to exclusive bonus content and more: https://www.patreon.com/HauntedHangover31   Check out the video versions of our episodes and more over on our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/Hauntedhangover   Official Site: https://www.hauntedhangover.com Official Store: https://hauntedhangover31.bigcartel.com/   Follow us on all social media platforms: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hauntedhangover Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/hauntedhangover Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HauntedHangover31 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hauntedhangover

In this episode, I chat with creature effects artist, puppeteer and digital pioneer Craig Caton-Largent about a career that arguably traces the entire arc of modern visual effects — from foam latex and animatronics to motion control, performance capture and full CG animation. Craig talks about growing up on a sheep and cattle ranch in Washington State, being captivated by the 1960s Batman TV show and then Planet of the Apes, and teaching himself prosthetics from Dick Smith's Monster Makeup Handbook. After tracking down Dick Smith's address in Who's Who in America, he wrote a letter that led to a year of mentorship over cassette tapes and ultimately introductions to Rick Baker, Stan Winston and Tom Burman. We get into his first job on Charles Band's Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn, working on the Olympic alien for the 1984 closing ceremonies, sculpting barnacles on Cocoon, building Spock's seamless silicone ears on Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, undulating menacingly under shaving cream on Larry Cohen's The Stuff, and puppeteering Slimer's mouth on the original Ghostbusters. A big part of the conversation focuses on Jurassic Park, including the design evolution of the T-Rex, the helicopter convention moment that led to the McFadden motion base, the logistics of moving the full-size animatronic across the San Fernando Valley at night, and Craig's work as the Raptor puppeteer, including the now-legendary "head tilt" at the kitchen window that earned an on-set "It's like Alien, I love it" from Spielberg. We also talk about Craig's twenty-year stint as the caretaker, or "doctor", to the original ET puppet, including the time the LAPD turned up at his garage door thinking he was running a crack lab while he was actually repainting ET. Plus the story of how Stan Winston handing him a couple of SGI machines led, almost overnight, to him becoming one of the eight co-founders of Digital Domain alongside James Cameron and Scott Ross. Later in the conversation we move into Craig's animation career as a final layout artist and character TD at DreamWorks and Disney, with credits on Tangled, Rise of the Guardians, How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Turbo, and stories from working with Guillermo del Toro at DreamWorks. We finish on Craig's current role as Creative Director of the 3D Animation and Visual Effects department at the New York Film Academy in Burbank. Topics coveredGrowing up on a Washington State ranch and falling in love with Planet of the ApesFamous Monsters of Filmland and Dick Smith's Monster Makeup HandbookCold-writing to Dick Smith and a year of cassette-tape mentorshipArriving in Hollywood at the start of the "golden age" of effectsFirst feature work on Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared-SynThe closing ceremonies of the 1984 LA Olympics and Ron Cobb's alienSculpting barnacles and cocoons for Cocoon (1985)Seamless silicone Spock ears on Star Trek IV: The Voyage HomeThe Stuff with Larry Cohen and "undulating menacingly"Puppeteering Slimer's mouth on GhostbustersDesigning the T-Rex around helicopter flight simulator technologyWorking with McFadden Simulation on the T-Rex motion baseMoving the full-size T-Rex across the San Fernando ValleyBuilding a 70lb Steadicam-rigged Raptor insert head for Jurassic ParkUsing parrots as reference for bird-like Raptor movementThe kitchen porthole head tilt, and Spielberg's "It's like Alien" reactionUsing Kermit the Frog's voice on set as the Raptor performerTwenty years as ET's "doctor", and the LAPD crack-lab incidentET's arm in a rifle case at JFK a week after 9/11Motion capture experiments and blood-spread effects on Interview with the VampireA flying logo on an Amiga, and becoming a co-founder of Digital DomainWorking with Stan Winston, James Cameron and Scott RossMoving into animation: character rigging at Disney on TangledFinal layout and virtual camera work at DreamWorks on Rise of the Guardians, How to Train Your Dragon 2 and TurboLunches with Guillermo del Toro in the DreamWorks canteenPre-vis on the Total Recall remake with Len WisemanTeaching the next generation at the New York Film Academy, BurbankThe unique "intergalactic award" Spielberg gave Craig for puppeteering ETThis podcast is completely independent and made possible by listener support. If you'd like to help me keep making these episodes, you can join my Patreon community here: https://patreon.com/jamiebenning Watch more on YouTube:Check out the Filmumentaries YouTube channel for behind-the-scenes clips and extra content: https://youtube.com/filmumentariesAll my links

Daniel Pearl, A.S.C. is best known for his cinematography work on various horror films including The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974). He has worked on many feature films, over 400 music videos and more than 250 commercials. Some other notable films that he shot include the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), Invaders from Mars (1986), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Friday the 13th (2009), The Boy (2016) and Mom and Dad (2017). Some of the most notable music videos he worked on include Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean", Guns 'N Roses' "November Rain" and Meatloaf's "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That). He won the first MTV cinematography award for "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. He's worked with a record amount of artists in the industry including Billy Idol, Bette Midler, The Go-Go's, Mariah Carey, Ed Sheeran and Usher. Pearl filmed the Michael Bay-directed Meatloaf video, "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)", which he cites as "one of my personal all-time favorite projects ... I think the cinematography is pure, and it tells a story about the song." Michael Bay would later produce the 2003 Chainsaw remake and their collaborations continued on for years.  More films in Pearl's catalogue include Zapped! (1982), Pathfinder (2007) and The Apparition (2012).  He worked with Larry Cohen on a number of projects including Full Moon High (1981), It's Alive III: Island of the Alive (1987) and A Return to Salem's Lot (1987). 

A deep dive conversation based on the moviescramble.co.uk review written by Thomas Simpson. Maniac Cop is a 1988 American slasher film directed by William Lustig, written and produced by Larry Cohen, and starring Tom Atkins, Bruce Campbell, Laurene Landon, Richard Roundtree, William Smith, Robert Z'Dar, and Sheree North. Z'Dar plays the title character, a murderous former police officer returned from the dead, and seeks revenge on the people who wronged him. The film is the first installment in the Maniac Cop film series. Liked it? let us know! Hated it? No need to share! Enjoy   Find us on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/moviescramble/id1466571460 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/42wPn0tXvH3GQJ2E3NYDYp?si=TPUrCkecQb-zdEOAaD3cDA Amazon: https://music.amazon.co.uk/podcasts/ed9b87c9-fb70-4307-96a7-d6223a202741/moviescramble Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsR--3Bae_QGM5xiM3fWohA and all podcast providers. Contact us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @Moviescramble We love you all! (yes, even you at the back)

Did you know the comic book characters and their stories that are adapted into very successful books, TV shows and movies could teach you as much about myth as the work of Joseph Campbell?Filmmaker and comic book writer B. Earl describes how his deep love for comics, mythology and the Tarot led him on a Fool's Journey away from doing the safe thing — studying biochemistry — to work on Spider-Man comics, make movies and share the lessons he learned by following the road less traveled this week on Spirit Gym.Discover more about B. Earl on his Weirdbunch Studio website and on Instagram, Substack and LinkedIn. Read his chapter in the book, Depth Psychology, Myth and Artificial Intelligence: Soul and the Machine, edited by Jason Batt and Jonathan Erickson. Check out his crowdfunded Fangbanger: SUPERPOSITION Anthology on Zoop.Timestamps7:44 “I found my voice and my own ideas through a mixture of mythology and comic books.”11:09 Whose dream wins out to study biochemistry or telling stories?17:53 B. Earl's Hero's Journey begins with a call from movie producer Larry Cohen.28:03 The Tarot helps B. Earl achieve sobriety when he needed it.33:45 The libido as life force energy.37:46 How do we learn to process, use and embrace the 72 demons of Solomon?49:13 The commercialization of Hip Hop.53:35 Comics: The most powerful medium and the additive version of the creative process.1:00:05 Can you decode the symbolism hiding in plain sight?1:07:15 How much of your consciousness is tied up in your ego?1:16:44 The Fool's Journey.1:26:40 Different Tarot card decks, different insights.1:35:00 The forced redundancy of us in AI.1:41:07 The magic of storytelling that conveys deeper truths and native myths in B. Earl's Deadly Neighborhood Spider-Man.1:55:55 Conflict and forgiveness are necessary for us to live and grow.ResourcesWatch B. Earl talk about The Poetry of Death during the recent Soul and the Machine webinar on the International Society of Mythology websiteFind more resources for this episode on our website.Music Credit: Meet Your Heroes (444Hz), Composed, mixed, mastered and produced by Michael RB Schwartz of Brave Bear MusicThanks to our awesome sponsors:PaleovalleyBIOptimizers US and BIOptimizers UK PAUL15Organifi CHEK20Wild PasturesPique LifeCHEK InstituteWe may earn commissions from qualifying purchases using affiliate links.

The gang stay in the 1980s for the scuzzy tale of exploitation that also doubles up as a cineliterate skewering of exploitation cinema, in Larry Cohen's 1984 film Special Effects.       Night on the Docks - Sax Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

This week on the Talk Without Rhythm Podcast I'm joined by the OG TWoRPer himself, The Cancer Man, to discuss two 1982 genre flicks. First up we have the Larry Cohen creature-feature Q (aka Q the Winged Serpent) and then we discuss Robert Wynne-Simmons' Folk Horror followup to Blood on Satan's Claw, The Outcasts. [00:00] INTRO [01:36] Trick or Treat Radio Promo [02:53] RANDOM CONVERSATION [11:59] Q (1982) [45:14] The Outcasts (1982) [01:18:22] FEEDBACK [01:30:41] ENDING MUSIC: The Outcast by The Dropkick Murphys Buy Q (1982) Buy The Outcasts (1982) Support TWoRP Contact Us talkwithoutrhythm@gmail.com  

Breaking Down RSA: How QLDPC Codes Cut Quantum Computing Requirements by an Order of MagnitudeWhat if I told you that the number of qubits needed to break RSA encryption just dropped from over a million to around 100,000? That's exactly what researchers at Iceberg Quantum achieved by combining quantum low-density parity-check (QLDPC) error correction with algorithmic optimizations—potentially accelerating quantum cryptography timelines by years.Why this episode mattersThis episode dives into groundbreaking research that could reshape quantum computing's practical timeline. We explore how QLDPC codes overcome the physical constraints of surface codes, why hardware diversity is driving new error correction approaches, and what this means for the race toward cryptographically relevant quantum computers.Perfect for quantum researchers, cryptography professionals, and anyone curious about the engineering challenges between today's quantum devices and tomorrow's code-breaking machines.What you'll learnWhy QLDPC codes outperform surface codes — How throwing out nearest-neighbor connectivity assumptions unlocks better physical-to-logical qubit ratios across multiple hardware platforms The algorithmic tricks that matter — How shared register reads and parallelization techniques can dramatically reduce runtime on slower quantum hardware platforms like trapped ions and neutral atoms What "hardware agnostic" really means — Why developing error correction methods that work across superconducting, trapped ion, photonic, and neutral atom platforms is crucial for the quantum ecosystemHow generalized ladder surgery enables logical operations — The breakthrough that made QLDPC codes viable for full quantum computation, not just quantum memory storageWhy decoding remains the bottleneck — The real-time classical computation challenges that still need solving to make fault-tolerant quantum computing practicalThe business model emerging around quantum architecture — How companies like Iceberg are positioning themselves as the "ARM or Nvidia" of quantum computing through specialized fault-tolerant designsWhat cryptographers should know now — Why the timeline for cryptographically relevant quantum computers may be compressing faster than expected, and why algorithmic improvements matter as much as hardware scalingResources & linksIceberg Quantum's Pinnacle paper — "Reducing the Overhead of Quantum Error Correction with QLDPC Codes"Craig Gidney's foundational Shor's algorithm optimization workScott Aaronson's blog analysis of the research implications Sponsorqubitsok — Cut Noise. Work Quantum. The quantum computing job board and arXiv research digest built for the community. - Job seekers & researchers: Subscribe free at qubitsok.com — weekly job alerts + daily paper digest filtered by 400+ quantum tags. - Hiring managers: Post your quantum role and reach 500+ targeted subscribers. Use code NEWQUANTUMERA-50 for 50% off your first listing at qubitsok.com/post-job.Key insights & quotes"We think this is an immensely fundamentally valuable thing to do — when hardware improvements and reduced resource requirements converge, we'll be able to do something useful." — Larry, Iceberg Quantum CSO"It would probably be a big mistake to assume that the numbers are not going to keep going down" — on future resource requirement reductions for RSA breaking"At every level of scaling, new challenges emerge — it's not just a matter of taking a zero off your number" — Paul Webster on why order-of-magnitude improvements translate to real timeline changes"There's no obvious reason why something like the Pinnacle architecture wouldn't have an obvious impact once hardware companies reach hundreds of thousands of qubits" — on practical implementation timelines"This is why it's so important to have this broader perspective and not be too dependent on the assumptions of one hardware platform" — on the value of hardware-agnostic approaches

Chelsea and James are joined by Chris Parnell, Stephen Tobolowsky, and Kristoffer Polaha for a fantastically chaotic review of Larry Cohen's It's Alive (1974). Get tickets for their new horror movie, Mimics, in theaters NOW! https://www.fandango.com/mimics-2026-244092/movie-overview This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/DeadMeat This episode is also sponsored by Ollie! Go to https://ollie.com/deadmeat and use code deadmeat to get 60% off your first box! This episode is lastly sponsored by Brooklyn Bedding! Go to https://brooklynbedding.com and use our promo code DEADMEAT at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. Order the Dead Meat 2026 desk calendar here! https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Golden-Chainsaws-and-Dull-Machetes-2026-Calendar/Dead-Meat-Productions-Inc/9781524892418 MERCH! https://deadmeatstore.com Website: https://deadmeat.rip WATCH OUR PROOF OF CONCEPT FOR OUR MOVIE, “Pre-Game”: https://youtu.be/o__XhcFS5Nc Get the Full Podcast RSS Feed! ► https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/deadmeat Dead Meat on Social Media: Twitter ► https://twitter.com/deadmeatjames Instagram ► http://instagram.com/deadmeatjames Tiktok ► https://www.tiktok.com/@deadmeatjames Facebook ► https://www.facebook.com/deadmeatjames Reddit ► https://www.reddit.com/r/deadmeatjames/ Discord ► https://discord.gg/deadmeat Chelsea Rebecca on Social Media: Twitter ► https://twitter.com/carebecc Instagram ► http://instagram.com/carebecc James A. Janisse on Social Media: Twitter ► https://twitter.com/jamesajanisse Instagram ► http://instagram.com/jamesajanisse Practical Folks (James and Chelsea's other channel): https://www.youtube.com/practicalfolks MUSIC!! "U Make Me Feel" by MK2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mass shooters! Religious cabals! Alien invaders! Despite their promises otherwise, the boys dive down another rabbit hole, exploring the wild, cerebral, and insanely irreverent filmography of Larry Cohen. Was the greatest voice of the '70s exploitation era? Find out here!

John talks about Trump's lust for seizing control of Greenland and how that is playing out on the world stage. Trump spoke at the Davos Economic Forum in Switzerland, receiving a wall of sharp words and condemnations for American foreign and economic policy toward Europe. He also discusses anti-ICE protestors disrupting a sermon at Cities Church in ST. Paul Minnesota where their pastor moonlights as an ICE Director in their local field office. Then, he interviews Larry Cohen who is the Executive Director and Co-founder of Point Source Youth, a national organization working to prevent and end youth homelessness in the U.S. through advocacy, research, and support of scalable interventions like direct cash transfers and targeted housing assistance. And, Erika Hartman, who is Chief Executive Officer at Safe Place for Youth, which provides over 1,200+ young people with critical life-saving services yearly including daily meals, substance abuse counseling, mental health services, and access to housing. Point Source Youth and Safe Place for Youth are expanding the CASH LA Targeted Housing Assistance Program, a cost-efficient, evidence-based intervention that helps young people ages 18 to 30 stay housed before they enter the homelessness system. Next, John jokes with J-L Cauvin who is a community advocate, lawyer, and comedian who is running as a Democrat to succeed Governor-Elect Mikie Sherrill and represent New Jersey's 11th District in Congress. And then lastly, he welcomes back Rev. Barry Lynn who's an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ and served as the executive director for Americans United for the Separation of Church and State until his retirement in 2017. Rev. Barry's memoir “Paid to Piss People Off” comes in three volumes: PEACE, PORN and PRAYER.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Crystal Hairston drops back into the studio to discuss two outrageously over-the-top Killer Baby Franchises: It's Alive & Basket Case!   Why were both coincidentally turnt into trilogies?   Was It's Alive one of Larry Cohen's more coherent B-pictures or was it more cheesy/low-brow fun?   Are any of the Basket Case films competently made or are they more of the trashy fun variety?   Come sit and listen with us as we continue this nostalgia themed podcast week!

Episode 26 of The Basic Income Show!patreon.com/scottsantensThe Marshall Islands just made history: the world's first permanent Universal Basic Income (UBI) is now live—paid to every citizen/resident (kids and adults) on an ongoing basis. In this episode of The Basic Income Show, Scott Santens, Conrad Shaw, and Josh Worth break down what's happening, how it's funded, and why this is a turning-point moment for global basic income.CHAPTERS00:00 Intro + what's covered03:18 Marshall Islands launches the world's first permanent UBI06:36 Payment options (direct deposit / check / USD stablecoin)07:09 How big is the UBI (PPP + share of GDP per capita)09:54 How they're paying for it (trust fund / sovereign wealth fund)28:34 IMF targeting pressure + VAT (and why UBI changes the math)31:12 Cook County makes guaranteed income permanent (budgeted)36:40 BOOST Act: $250/month UBI in Congress + surtax design47:44 Trump accounts + Dell donation (why this isn't basic income)58:42 Canada basic income bill advances (process + next steps)1:00:50 Canadian farmers union proposes guaranteed income1:09:54 Oregon unhoused youth: $1,000/month and housing outcomes1:14:58 Madison, WI pilot: $500/mo to parents — FT employment up1:19:25 Brazil natural large UBI experiment: daughters' military pension1:28:44 UBI size vs employment: poverty-level ≈ zero impact1:31:36 ITSA Foundation gets grant from OpenAI Foundation for UBI work1:36:31 Wrap-upShow links:https://scottsantens.substack.com/p/marshall-islands-just-implemented-ubiSee my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark, Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership

This week Josh and Drusilla discuss a George Romero deep cut but possibly his best film, Martin (1977). From wiki: “Martin (also known internationally as Wampyr) is a 1977[2] American horror film written and directed by George A. Romero, starring John Amplas. The film follows a troubled young man who believes himself to be a vampire.[3] Shot in 1976, Martin was Romero's fifth feature film following his previous film, The Crazies (1973). Romero said that Martin was the favorite of all his films.[4][5] The film is also the first collaboration between George Romero and special effects artist Tom Savini. While a prosecution for obscenity did not result, the film was seized and confiscated in the UK under Section 3 of the Obscene Publications Act 1959 during the video nasty panic.”Also discussed: Goke: Body Snatcher from Hell, Larry Cohen's career and Special Effects, which services are available through 911, L'eggs brand pantyhose, Pirahna, and more. NEXT WEEK: Passion of the Christ (2006)... for the holidays!Bloodhaus:https://www.bloodhauspod.com/https://www.instagram.com/bloodhauspod/https://letterboxd.com/bloodhaus/Drusilla Adeline:https://www.sisterhydedesign.com/https://letterboxd.com/sisterhyde/https://www.instagram.com/sister__hyde/Joshua Conkelhttps://www.joshuaconkel.com/https://www.instagram.com/joshua_conkel/https://letterboxd.com/JoshuaConkel/  

Hola Gerardo aquí en otro episodio de Simplemente Yo; La selección de esta semana es The Stuff, es una película estadounidense de ciencia ficción y terror de 1985 escrita y dirigida por Larry Cohen.   Plot: Una deliciosa y misteriosa sustancia viscosa que sale de la tierra se comercializa como la última sensación en postres.   Espero que lo disfruten ;) Información adicional del podcast: Enlace del website official de Filmic Notion Podcast: https://filmicnotionpod.com/ Enlace a nuestra página de Letterboxd: https://boxd.it/446nl  

Fish foam from outer space is invading Earth and only one podcast is stupid enough to watch a movie about it. We present to you a Ricky's Rippin Riffs and our Midnight Ritual of The Stuff(1985)! TNC: https://linktr.ee/thenightclub

This week we're looking at Larry Cohen's bizarre sequel to Tobe Hooper's hit TV miniseries, Salem's Lot which was based on the novel by Stephen King. While the studio bent over backwards to convince video renters that this movie was also from the mind of Stephen King and also had that cool Kurt Barlow vampire, Cohen's movie bears very, very little in common with the original. When anthropologist Joe Weber is called back to New York to deal with his delinquent son, he decides to reconnect with the kid by moving out to an old cottage he inherited from his aunt in Salem's Lot, Maine. When they arrive, however, they quickly learn that the town is haven to a race of vampires hiding in plain sight. They have plans for Joe and his son Jeremy and are desperately trying to maintain their ancient way of life.Cohen set out to make a satire of American conservatism in the 80's with this movie but the end product doesn't quite stick the landing. Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

This week Fusion Patrol looks at “The Invaders: Beachhead” as Kenneth and Eugene discuss— Every aspect of the David Vincent’s life being systematically destroyed, Uncertainty about who is alien and who is actually human, Unreliable pinky gestures and Creator Larry Cohen’s intended symbolism of the aliens’ extended pinky, and they posit whether anyone would notice the difference between Bud’s and Kelly’s Diner Beachhead Airdate: January 10, 1967 Runtime: 51 minutes Starring: Roy Thinnes Guest Stars: Diane Baker, J.D. Cannon, James Daly Director: Joseph Sargent Writer: Anthony Wilson (teleplay), Larry Cohen (story & creator) Synopsis: Architect David Vincent, tired from a late-night drive, stumbles upon an alien landing in a remote town. Unable to convince anyone of what he’s seen, Vincent finds his life unraveling as he obsesses over the mysterious invaders hiding in plain sight.

If you're a fan of Larry Cohen, the maverick filmmaker behind such mind-bending genre pictures as It's Alive, God Told Me To, Q: The Winged Serpent and The Stuff, you owe it to yourself to check out his newly published memoir: I Killed Bette Davis and Other Confessions of Heinous Crimes Committed in the Name of Moviemaking. The legendary director recounts all the great anecdotes you've already heard - driving a cab on actual NYC sidewalks, firing machine guns from the top of the Chrysler Building with no permit - and about a thousand you haven't. He recounts his fascinating origins as a Borscht Belt comedian and in-demand television writer, includes tribute chapters to Bernard Herrmann and Samuel Fuller, details his ambitious cinematic efforts and the struggle to bring screen legend Bette Davis to the public one last time. We're joined on the episode by James Kenney, who not only edited Cohen's memoir but also discovered and published an unproduced screenplay of Cohen's called Headhunter, the insane tale of a superhero who dresses like a doctor and "cures" criminals of their evil vices. We've also got Andrew Overbye, host of the Authorized Novelization Podcast and recent Cohen enthusiast, to share his feelings on the memoir and the nutty Headhunter. We love Larry Cohen and could have discussed him all day! Find I Killed Bette Davis here: stickingplacebooks.com/i-killed-bette-davis/ Find Headhunter here: stickingplacebooks.com/headhunter/ James Kenney's website: tremblesighwonder.com/ James Kenney on Twitter: x.com/jfkenney The Authorized Novelization Podcast on Bluesky: bsky.app/profile/authorizedpod.bsky.social The Authorized Novelization Podcast on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/68YhhFLKW5m6ibJJDZ147M

     This week we celebrate the warriors of post classic Hollywood B films who celebrated and reveled in their chosen field just in time for Americans to glut themselves on turkey and gravy.     Park Plaza Mall has just installed the newest high tech in security, a trio of security robots designed to subdue and apprehend thieves and trespassers, and impenetrable steel doors across all exits. The same night they are implemented, Allison, a pizzeria waitress, and nerdy Ferdy are both talked into attending an after hours party in the mall's furniture store. Tragically, something goes terribly wrong before the last frolicking retail employees can lock up for the night. A cult favorite that might be about excesses of consumerism and the extreme paranoia of security focused capitalist societies OR might just be another excuse for Jim Wynorski to hang out with young blondes- Chopping Mall.     One night some workers discover a tasty creamy substance bubbling out of the ground at a Georgia quarry. Soon it is on every store shelf in America and there are multiple tubs in every home. A zero calorie addictive treat that is so good you won't even care you've turned into an alien zombie. Independent maverick auteur Larry Cohen's directly confrontational satire of consumerism, mass media, and the health food industry, with a great performance from his one true muse, Michael Moriarty. Enough is never enough of... The Stuff.     Former sweethearts Wendy, whose one semester at college has let her explore her inner radical antiestablishment lesbian, and Arbie, who stayed behind to take care of his parents, find themselves in opposition when a fast food chicken restaurant paves over Tromaville's Native American burial ground. In a fit of jealousy, after seeing Wendy protesting with her girlfriend Micki, Arbie takes a job working the greasy fried register. Before long both the misfit employees and the protesters outside begin dying and undead feathers start flying. Lloyd Kaufman's black comedy horror musical, made entirely by volunteers from all over the world and using donated props from just as many far flung studios and TOTALLY NOT another satire of consumerism, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.     Australian super stunt man, Grant Page, takes a job working for an American television series and moves to LA. Once there he reunites with his cousin, a member of the band Sorcery, a rock band with fantasy theatrical stage shows. Refusing to rest after Grant is injured on his very first stunt, his dedication to his craft draws the attention of both the show's lead actress, Monique van de Ven, but also journalist Lois. Together the threesome attend a lot of Sorcery concerts, attend lavish Hollywood parties with the band, and occasionally meditate on the joys of extreme living. Brian Trenchard-Smith's attempt to make Page a world class action star and Sorcery something more than an 8th rate Alice Cooper clone, Stunt Rock.     All that and Dave questions all his life choices up to this moment, Tyler begins to spontaneously cry at the sight of Eggos, Kevin finishes his naughty and naughtier list, and Craig finally opens a stack of blu-rays he was keeping to use as currency once the global AI bubble bursts and drowns us all. Join us, won't you?   Episode 441- B ALL YOU CAN B

This week we're serving up a triple course of chaos. First up: Wicked: For Good. The witches are back, the songs are soaring, and we're asking the only question that matters. Does Oz still cast a spell, or is this broomstick running out of steam?Then it's time for our annual superhero stock‑take. Twelve months of comic book movies, twelve months of capes, quips, and questionable box office decisions. We crown the champions, roast the flops, and wonder aloud if the genre is finally learning how to laugh at itself.Finally, Absurd Autumn refuses to slow down as we wheel in Larry Cohen's 1990 cult oddity The Ambulance. Eric Roberts, James Earl Jones, and a suspiciously sinister emergency vehicle - it's part thriller, part comedy, part “how did this ever get made?”Witches, superheroes, and ambulances. It's the most unlikely hat‑trick you'll hear all season.Get us on the Socials @CageFightingPodUse my special link (cagefighting) to save 30% off your first month of any Zencastr paid plan.

My Haunted Head takes a look at the MANIAC COP trilogy - a unique, violent series born of New York grit, tabloid paranoia, and two of exploitation cinema's sharpest minds: Larry Cohen and William Lustig.  Available on Apple, Spotify or your favorite podcast app.  Please Like, Share and SUBSCRIBE!  #maniaccop #brucecampbell #tomatkins #williamlustig #larrycohen #samraimi #maniac #slasher #horrormovies #horrorcollector #80shorror #police #newyorkcity 

Episode 25 of The Basic Income Show!patreon.com/scottsantensChapters:00:00 South Korea's huge rural basic income pilot experiment14:05 The Guaranteed Income Pilot Program Act26:30 Miracle Money Experiment Results46:56 Zack Polanski asks Richard Murphy about UBI1:10:21 Baltimore Young Families Success Fund results1:21:07 Hamburg, Germany votes against a UBI pilot1:24:20 TEDEd video about GiveDirectly's cash giving1:38:04 Customers are the real job creators1:41:09 How much wealth is too much wealth?In this episode of The Basic Income Show, Scott Santens, Josh Worth, and Conrad Shaw break down one of the biggest basic income stories in the world right now: South Korea's massive rural basic income pilot covering more than 200,000 people. They dig into how the “local love” voucher design works, why it targets rural counties instead of cities, and how funding it from solar and wind profits creates a clean-energy dividend model that looks a lot like a permanent UBI fund. From there, they turn to the newly reintroduced U.S. “Guaranteed Income Pilot Program Act of 2025,” led by Rep. Bonnie Watson Coleman, and explain why tying payments to the local cost of a two-bedroom apartment risks becoming a landlord subsidy rather than a scalable universal basic income. The conversation hits core design questions: per-person vs per-household payments, including or excluding seniors on Social Security, and why calibrating UBI to cost of living can undermine competition between high-rent cities and cheaper regions. The hosts then unpack fresh randomized-control-trial evidence from Miracle Money California's $750/month cash transfers to people experiencing homelessness, alongside results from the Baltimore Young Family Success Fund, which gave young parents $1,000/month for two years.Show links:https://www.scottsantens.com/its-time-to-walk-the-walk-for-universal-basic-income-ubi/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gTgloPR0Awhttps://www.guaranteedincomeworks.org/data-from-baltimore-mdSee my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Dorothy Krahn, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark,Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I do a coaching call with Joanna who has a 2-year-old and a 7-year-old. We cover how to make mindset shifts so you can better show up for your kids, as well as get into specifics around night weaning, bedtime battles, handling meltdowns, playful parenting and increasing our connection to our kids.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:40 how to manage meltdowns* 9:00 Night weaning and bedtime challenges* 20:00 Emptying a full emotional backpack* 26:00 Kids who always want more attention* 28:00 Understanding blame and anger* 38:00 Games to play when a child is looking for more power* 44:00 How our mindset makes such a big difference when parenting* 47:30 Two keys to peaceful parenting!* 55:00 Playful approaches to bedtimeResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* How to Help Our Little Ones Sleep with Kim Hawley * Episode 100: When Your Child Has a Preferred Parent (or Not) with Sarah and Corey * Episode 103: Playful Parenting with Lawrence Cohen * Playful Heart Parenting with Mia Wisinski: Episode 186 xx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERETranscript:Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's episode is a coaching episode. My guest is Joanna, mom of a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old. Joanna's 7-year-old is an intense child, and she wanted to know how to handle her big feelings and find more connection with her.She also had some specific challenges around bedtime, namely that her partner works shift work and is not home at bedtime. She still breastfeeds her 2-year-old to sleep, so is unavailable to her seven-year-old for a bit, and then has trouble getting her seven-year-old to bed without a fight. Joanna also shared how low she was on resources, and we had a great discussion about how that impacts her parenting and what she might do about it.Also, meltdowns—we talked about those too and how to respond. I know Joanne is not alone. One note: after we did the follow-up call, I realized I forgot to ask her about a few things. So she kindly recorded a couple of P.S.'s that I'll include. If you're curious, like I am, you'll be glad she gave us the latest updates.If you would like to come on the podcast and be coached by me, I am looking for a few parents who are interested. You can email me at sarah@sarahrosensweet.com.As always, please give us a five-star rating and a review on your favorite podcast app, and if you know another parent or caregiver that this would be helpful for, please screenshot it and send it to them. The best way to reach more families with peaceful parenting is through word of mouth, so we really appreciate any shares that you might be able to give us.Okay. Let's meet Joanna. Okay.Sarah: Hi Joanna. Welcome to the podcast.Joanna: Hi. Thanks for having me.Sarah: Tell me a little bit about yourself.Joanna: Sure. I live up in Ottawa, Canada, with my husband and my two kids. I'm a music therapist, so right now I'm working with babies. I teach Yoga with Baby and, um, a class called Sing and Sign at a local wellness center.Sarah: Nice. How old are—Joanna: Yes, I have a 7-year-old girl who we'll call Jay.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: And then a 2-year-old boy called JR.Sarah: JJ. Okay, perfect. Okay, so how can I support you today?Joanna: Yeah, so my daughter has always been, like, a bit of a tricky one. Um. She was born premature, so at 29 weeks. And no kind of lasting effects. But as she's gotten older, we've noticed, like, she's really struggled a lot with emotional regulation. Um, and she kind of gets stuck on certain behaviors. So I feel like we've done a lot to change our parenting, in part thanks to you and your podcast and all the material. Um, I did finally read, um, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids this past summer.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And I feel like it also had a huge effect, just having, like, that bigger scope of understanding of, like, the peaceful parenting philosophy.Sarah: Uh-huh.Joanna: So I would say, like, even from where we were a few months ago, we've experienced tons of positive shifts with her.Sarah: Sweet.Joanna: Yeah, so we're already kind of well on our way, but there are certain behaviors that she has that still I find really perplexing. So I wondered if maybe we could go over a couple of them.Sarah: Sure. Yeah, no problem. For anyone—if, for anyone who doesn't know, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids is the book written by my mentor, who I trained with, Dr. Laura Markham. Um, and just for my own curiosity, what do you think? Because, you know, I always worry that people are—that they don't have the fully formed idea of peaceful parenting. And that—and I'm not saying you, because you've listened to the podcast so you probably have a deeper understanding—but some people are just getting their little snippets on Instagram reels, you know, and so it is hard to understand, like, the, the sort of the core reasons why we do the approach if you don't have that deeper understanding. And also, I'm working on a book right now, so hopefully soon you'll be able to say you read my book. But what did you—what do you feel like got fleshed out for you when you read that book?Joanna: I think she really breaks a lot of things down step by step, such as, like, what to do when your child is going through a meltdown.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And that has always been an area—like, when my daughter gets to that point where she's, like, become really explosive and aggressive and she's just, like, in it and she's kind of unreachable at that moment—like, what to do step by step at that time. I think, like, that's been the most helpful because I've been able to really settle into my own parenting and just, like, really trust myself and anchor in at that point, which is exactly really what she needs and what was missing.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah.Joanna: So—Sarah: So I think, um—like I always say, focus on regulating yourself first. Like, when someone's having a meltdown, empathize.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Um, you know, it—yeah, it's—it can be hard because you often feel like you need to do something. And even though you're saying step by step, it's less about doing anything than just centering yourself, staying calm yourself, trying to get in touch with the compassion and empathy even if you're not—some pe—some parents say, “Oh, well, when I try to say anything, then my kid just screams more.” So sometimes it's just empathize—like, getting connected in your own heart to the empathy and compassion, even if you're not saying anything—and that, that does something.Joanna: Absolutely it does. Yeah.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Yeah, so that's all been really helpful. Now, in—in terms of emotional regulation, I do definitely think that that's the biggest piece.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: Uh, it's been the biggest piece for me and sort of, like, one of the big things that I wanted to talk to you about today is we are still really not getting sleep because my 2-year-old is not a good sleeper and has never been a good sleeper. And we've gone through periods where I'm like, okay, now he's only waking up, like, twice a night, and that feels manageable. Um, but he's kind of been back to waking up, like, three to six times a night again, which is so hard. And then my husband's very supportive; however, he works afternoons, so he's gone from about 3:00 PM to 1:00 AM, so he needs to be able to sleep until about eight, which means I'm up with my son between six and seven. My daughter gets up for school around 7:30, so that's, like, a tricky time of day because she's really quite grumpy in the morning. He's not—the toddler's really, like, kind of a totally different temperament. But, like, I'm tired after struggling with, like, night wakings all night. And then I'm with the kids from the time that she gets home from school, um, and then doing both bedtimes myself.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Um, so there's a lot of time where, like, I am solo parenting, and I'm definitely, like, the preferred parent. Um, and both my kids really want me and need me at bedtime. So he is still nursing—like, I'm nursing to sleep and then nursing during the night. And I know that that's probably contributing a lot to all the night wakings. So, I guess my question is, like, I am at the point where I am ready to night-wean. I probably should have done it already, but—Sarah: Don't say “should have.” Like, it's—if you're not ready to make that change, like, in your heart, it's really torturous to try to—try to, like, not—so say you decide you want to night-wean, but you weren't really ready to do it. It would be so painful for you to deny your son nursing in the night if you were—if you didn't feel in your heart, like, “No, this is the right thing to do. I'm totally ready. I think he's ready.” So, so I think waiting until you're really, like, actually, yes, “I'm done with this,” is a smart thing. Yeah. So don't beat yourself up for not having done it already. But you're right, it probably does contribute to him waking up in the night.Joanna: Yeah. And, um, I do feel like I—I'm ready. I just—I'm not quite sure how to make that shift. So what generally happens is, like, we have some, like, virtual babysitting going on with my mom, where, like, when I nurse my son to sleep, which generally takes, like, between maybe 30 and 45 minutes, she'll, like, sit with her and do a workbook. So we'll have, like, a video chat, and then after—Sarah: Yeah, it's great.Joanna: So then after, um, I'm with her to get her ready for bed, and that oftentimes looks like a lot of, like, dragging heels on, like, “Oh, I want another snack,” and “I wanna, like, brush my teeth,” and “Whatever—don't wanna brush my teeth.” So, um, then that ends up taking usually about an hour, but we both sort of have, like, this expiration at about 9:00 PM, where, like, she just gets so dysregulated because she's so tired.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: So if I don't have her in bed at that point and, like, already kind of with the lights out, there's often just, like, a meltdown and some—like, she'll start calling me names and start, like, you know, throwing stuff down at me and whatnot. And then I'm just really tired by that point too. Yeah. So we can kind of joke around about it now—like, nine o'clock is the time where we're, like, where we both expire. So I'm trying to figure out, like, how can I night-wean? Because I know that that is supposed to start with, like, him being able to fall asleep by himself at the beginning of the night, so—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Slowly phasing that out and laying with him. I know it's gonna probably take a lot longer in the beginning, so I'm just a little worried that, like, maybe if it takes, like, an hour, an hour and a half, then all of a sudden she's kind of, like, left hanging and it's getting later and her bedtime's being pushed back.Sarah: Are there any—are there any nights that your partner is home at bedtime?Joanna: There's two—Sarah: nights that—Joanna: he—Sarah: is,Joanna: yeah.Sarah: Yeah. I mean, I guess I would start with those nights.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Yeah. Start with those nights. And—and when was your son's birthday? Like, like how—two—is he—Joanna: He just turned two, like, two weeks ago.Sarah: Okay. So, I mean, I think I would start with trying to just practice, you know, nursing him and maybe nursing him somewhere else and then bringing him back, you know, and then putting him in—are you co-sleeping?Joanna: Sleep—yeah. Well, I put him—like, I generally nurse him to sleep. He has a floor bed in his room, and then I go to bed in my own room, and then at his first wake, then I go back in, and I just stay there for the room—the rest of the night from that point.Sarah: Right, right. So I, I guess I would try just, like, nursing him and trying to, like, pat his back and sing to him and, you know, tell him that—that he can have—I, I mean, what we did was, “You can have milk in the morning,” you know, “You could have it when it's light.” I remember my oldest son—when he—it took him a couple of days—and if you wanna hear the whole story of my failed night-weaning with my second son, it was in a podcast that we did about infant and toddler sleep, uh, with Kim.Joanna: Yeah, Kim?Sarah: Yes. So you could listen to that if you haven't heard that already. But my second—my first son was super easy to night-wean, and a couple of—it was, like, a couple of nights of a little bit of crying, and he would just say, “Make it light, Mama. Make it light,” because he wanted—I said, “You can nurse when it's light.” But, you know, I, I, I don't wanna get into that whole big thing on this podcast because—mm-hmm—just because I've already talked about it. But if you wanna listen to that, and if you have any questions when we do our follow-up, you can, uh, you can ask me. But, you know, I would just try, you know, talking to him about, then, you know, “You can have Milky in the morning,” or whatever you call it, and, you know, those two—see how it goes for those two nights where your partner's around. And if it doesn't—I would say, if it still seems really hard, maybe just waiting to do it until—I don't know if you have any other support you could enlist. You mentioned your mother—maybe she could come and visit, you know, because I do think it would be hard to try and do this and do the solo bedtimes for a while. So I don't know if there's a time when your mom could come visit or if there's some other support that you could have. But yeah—Joanna: I think the tricky part with that is that, like, she—even with my husband—like, she doesn't want him to put her to bed.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And depending on the kind of night that she's having, sometimes she'll end up, like, screaming, and their bedrooms are right beside each other. So we've had it before where, like, she'll start having a meltdown and, like, wake him up, and then he's not able to fall asleep either. And then we—Sarah: There's also—your husband could be with your son.Joanna: It's the same—same situation though. Like, he doesn't—him—Sarah: It sounds—it sounds like possibly—I mean, there—kids do have preferred parents even when, um, they do have good connection with the—with the other parent. And you could maybe still work—have some—that be something that you're working on, having your partner, you know, maybe even practicing having—before you start doing the night-weaning—practicing having your partner doing some of the bedtime stuff. When you are—when, you know, when—before you're starting to make a change so that your son doesn't associate, you know, “I'm not getting what I want,” and my dad, you know, putting me to sleep.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: So I would maybe try to get your partner a little bit more involved in bedtime before making a change. And—and even if there's some crying—we also have a podcast about preferred parents that you could listen to. So I—you know, I think maybe you do have a little bit of pre-work to do before you start doing the night-weaning, and, in terms of when—how can you get support at bedtime?Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: I mean, the other option is if you just kick it down the road more and—or, you know, there isn't—there's actually a third option now that I think about it—it's that you still nurse him to sleep but then don't nurse him when you wake him up—when he wakes up in the night. Get him to go back to sleep without that.Sarah: I hadn't thought about that, because I think that everything that I've heard has been, like, they have to fall asleep on their own because then they're always gonna be—Joanna: looking—Sarah: for—Joanna: Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: But I mean, you could still try it.Joanna: Hmm. Okay.Sarah: Or you could try shortening the—you know, give him a little bit of milk and then see if he'll go to sleep, um, after he has a little bit, but without nursing to sleep.Joanna: Okay. Yeah. Okay, I'll give that some thought and try some different things there.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Okay. Thank you. But yeah, I feel like just starting to get sleep again is pretty important. So, even in terms of, like, being able to center myself to handle all of the things that goes on with my daughter during the day, that feels like a really important piece right now.Sarah: For sure. And if she's—if she's some nights not going—it sounds like quite frequently maybe she's not asleep before nine.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: And what time does she wake up?Joanna: 7:30.Sarah: 7:30. So do you think she's getting enough sleep?Joanna: Probably not. She's really lethargic in the morning.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: But I can't really seem to figure out how to be able to get her to sleep. Like, I did talk to her about it, and she was like, “Well, maybe when I turn eight, like, I can start putting myself to bed.” And I was like, “Okay, well what—what would that look like?” And she kind of went through, like, “Okay, I'll, you know, I'll brush my teeth on the phone with Grandma, and then I'll just, like, read in bed.” And—but this is, like, in a moment where she's feeling very regulated.Sarah: Right, right, right. And when's her birthday?Joanna: Uh, in about two months.Sarah: Okay. Yeah. Um, have you had a conversation with her about how neither of you likes the fighting at night? And, you know—and does she have any, like—not in the moment, but does she have any ideas of, you know, how you can solve the problem of her not, you know, not wanting to go to bed and then getting too tired and then getting really cranky?Joanna: Yeah, we have—we have talked about it, and we can talk about it with, like, a little bit more levity now, but I don't think that she's actually—we've gone to, like, the problem-solving—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: of that.Sarah: I mean, that might be a helpful conversation to have with her and just say, “You know, I've been thinking about what often happens at night, you know, and I totally get it, that you don't wanna go to bed. Like, you know, when I was a kid, I never wanted to go to bed, and I would've stayed up all night if I could. And I'm sure you're the same because it's just—you know, when you're young, going to bed is, like, you know, not any fun at all.” And you can make—you could even make a joke, like, “When you're old like me, like, you can't wait to go to bed.” But of course when you're young, you don't wanna go to sleep, and I totally get that. So, like, lots of empathy and acknowledging, like, her perspective. And—and then you could say, “And at the same time, you know, you do—you know, why do you think it's important to sleep?” So I guess you could have that conversation with her too about, like, you know, what happens when we're sleeping that—your, you know, you could talk about how your cells, like, fix themselves. Also we grow when we're sleeping—like, we get the—like, the growth hormone gets secreted, and that's the—if we don't get enough sleep, we're not gonna grow and we're not gonna feel happy the next day. So you can, like, talk to her about the importance of sleep. And then you could say, like, “So, you know, I know you don't wanna go to sleep, and I know how important it is, and now you do too. And, you know—and I hate fighting with you at bedtime. You know, do you have any ideas for how we can solve this problem? Because I really want us both to go to bed feeling happy and connected.”Joanna: Yeah. Yeah, that's a great suggestion. Thank you. I think the biggest barrier to her getting to bed on time is she is finally feeling, like, a bit more calm and relaxed at night. Like, she comes home after school with a lot—she's holding a lot from school. They have, like, a point system for good behavior at school.Sarah: Oh.Joanna: And you should see how she racks up the points. She has great behavior at school. The teacher's, like—would never believe what goes on at home.Sarah: Of course, yeah.Joanna: So then she comes home, and it's, like, a lot of unloading. So I feel like by that time of night she's, like, ready to pursue her hobbies. Like, she's like, “Oh, I just wanna do this one more little”—you know, she's drawing something, and it's always like, “I just need to finish this,” because once she gets started on something, she can't seem to break her focus on—We're very much suspecting ADHD. That's gonna be probably in the next year we pursue a diagnosis, but—Sarah: Typically—do have a lot of trouble falling asleep—that's with ADHD. What about—you know, so two outta three of my kids had a lot of trouble falling asleep, and they're both my ADHD kids, and what really helped them was something to listen to at night. You know—Joanna: Yeah, she does listen to podcasts falling asleep—Sarah: Does listen to stuff.Joanna: Yeah, she's always listened—listened to, like, a story falling asleep. I think part of it too is we don't get a lot of one-on-one time throughout the day.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Because my son's around in the morning.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And it's usually just the three of us until my husband wakes up, which is shortly before she goes to school. And then it's again the three of us from after school till bedtime most days, except for the two days a week that he's off.Sarah: Well, I mean, that's something to explore too, like, in—are there, you know—I don't know if you live in a neighborhood that has some, like, tweens that could come over and play with your son for an hour—you know, just someone really fun that he would like to play with—and then you and your daughter could have some time together. Because what I was gonna say when you said that she comes home with what we call the “full backpack” in Peaceful Parenting—which is, she's been carrying around, for anyone who's listening who doesn't know what that is, it's a concept that my mentor, Dr. Laura, came up with—where you're holding on to all of the stresses, big feelings, tensions from the day, and then when you come home, it's too much to, you know, to keep holding onto it. And so that's what you were just referring to, is just that she's got a lot to unpack after the day at school. And so I'm wondering—so when you mentioned that, I was gonna say, like, what could you do to try to proactively get some of that emptied out? Couple of ideas: do you do any roughhousing with her?Joanna: We actually just started doing that, and I couldn't believe how much she was into it. Yeah, I was super surprised. But I also think that it's taken just a lot of, like, repair with our relationship to get to the point that I've even been able to try some of this stuff. Like, because at first, like, when I first started hearing about some of these, like, peaceful—I, I don't know if you'd call them techniques—but, like, being playful and, um, roughhousing and things like that—she was so not open to anything at all because she was just so serious and so edgy and like, “Get away from me,” like, so irritable. So now I think that we've just—I've poured a lot of time in on weekends just to, like, spend time together that's enjoyable, and I'm noticing a huge shift. So now we are able to do some of these things, and it—it is turning out more positively.Sarah: Good. I mean, as you're speaking, I'm thinking that it sounds like there was maybe, um, quite a—a breach when your son was born, like, the last two years. Or, or do you feel like your relationship has always been a little strained even before that?Joanna: I feel like maybe it's always been a little fraught. I don't know if his birth had, like, a huge impact on that. Um, it has always been pretty strained.Sarah: Okay, okay.Joanna: Just because she's the more challenging kid?Sarah: I think so. And, you know, when she was two there was the pandemic. I think, like, I was carrying a lot of trauma after the whole NICU experience with her. And then we had the pandemic, and then we moved, and then I got pregnant, and then I had my son. So it's like there's sort of been these, like, things along the way where—yeah, I don't know.Sarah: Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, that's good that you brought that up because I think that, you know, maybe that's gonna be the pre-work—that even before bedtime starts to feel better is really working on—you know, if you can get some support in, because it is really hard to have one-on-one time with a 2-year-old who probably doesn't wanna leave you alone. But even if—you know, continue with your sort of bulking up on the weekends with that time with her and do some, like, roughhousing and special time with her. Do you guys do special time?Joanna: Yeah. And that's something I wanted to talk about because special time has been sort of a big fail when I call it special time and when we set a timer for special time, because it really tends to dysregulate her, I think, because she's like, “Oh my God, I only have you for 15 minutes.” Mm-hmm. She gets really stressed out, and then she's like—oftentimes she likes to do these, like, elaborate pretend plays—things which need, like, a lot, a lot of setup time. Yeah. So she'll be like, “Pause the timer so I can set this up,” and then it just becomes, like, more tension between us. Like, it's not enjoyable.Sarah: It's one of those things where, like, you really have to adjust it to how it works for your particular family. Um, so, you know, maybe you just have, like, a couple hours with her on the weekend and you're—and it would be good for your—your partner and your son too. Maybe he could take him to the park or go and—you know, for them to work on their connection, which might make him a little bit more willing to go to bed with his dad, you know, on the nights that your partner is home. So, you know, I would really work on that connection with her and do those pretend play things with her. And even—you know, and this is maybe obvious, which is why I didn't say it before—but, you know, partly she's dragging her heels because that's the only time she has you to herself—at bedtime, right?Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: And so she doesn't want that to end because that's the only time that it—her brother's asleep—she has you all to herself. So if you can increase the time where she has you all to herself, she might be more willing to, um, to go to bed. Yeah. The other thing I was gonna say is, do you have anything that you do together at bedtime that would be, like—it sounds like she's dragging her heels to actually get in bed. Is there anything that you can do to entice her to get in bed, like a chapter book that you're reading her, that you read a chapter every night or something like that?Joanna: Yeah, and that has worked in the past, but it can—it can also kind of cause tension because I find, like, then I am a lot more apt to kind of hold it as, like, a bargaining chip instead of, like, “Oh, let's get to that.” Right. But lately we've been playing cards, and she's really motivated to, like, play a game of cards when we're in bed. So that seems to be working right now, but it's always kind of like—it changes all the time.Sarah: Right, right. Well, just keeping—thinking of something that you can use to make getting in bed seem more attractive? Um, maybe—I mean, my kids used to love hearing stories about me when I was little or about them when they were little. So it could even just be, like, a talk time. I know Corey, who works with me, does—she started doing a 10-minute talk time with one of her sons, who's a little bit older than—than your daughter, but where they just have, you know, this time where they just get in bed and he tells her stuff and they—they talk. So that could be something too—just really pure, straight-up connection.Joanna: Yeah. Okay, I like that. Maybe I can just ask you a couple more things about some of the things I—She's kind of a person that really wants constant connection too. Like, it does feel like I could spend, like, all day with her, and then she—once it's over, she would still be like, “Well, why are we not still—” like, it—we've always kind of—my husband and I will joke that she's got, like, a leaky cup because it's, like, “Just fill up their cup,” but it doesn't seem to matter. He used to play with her for, like, two to three hours when she was younger, and then at the end she would just, like, not be satisfied. Like, it didn't seem like anything was going to, like, fill her cup.Sarah: And that—you know what, there are kids like that. I remember I had this client once whose son actually said to her, “Mama, all the—all the hours in the world are not enough time with you.” And there are some kids that are really just like that. And, you know, I'm not sure how you respond when she says, like, you know, “But we hardly even got to play,” after you play for three hours. I mean, that playful—like, “Oh my gosh, like, what if we could just play all day?” You know, either, like, playful response of, like, “We could play for 27 hours,” you know, “and—and—and we would still have so much fun together.” Or just pure empathy, you know, like, “Oh no, it just feels like it's never enough time, is it?”Joanna: And it almost seems like sometimes when I am empathetic, it almost, like, fuels her anger. I don't know if you've ever heard that before from anybody else, but—eh, I don't know. Like, we had a situation with—like, she was looking for a specific bear last weekend—a teddy bear that she's missing—because she wanted to bring it to a teddy bear picnic. And so we were sort of, like, you know, we had to get out the door to go to this party. She couldn't find this bear, and I was, like, you know, offering a lot of empathy, and just, like—the more that I was like, “I know, like, you're so frustrated; you're so disappointed that you can't find your bear,” it was like the more that she was like, “Yeah, and you took it, you hid it, you put it somewhere.” Like, it just—the more empathy I gave, it seemed like the more that she was using it as almost, like, fuel to be upset. Does that make sense? Right.Sarah: Yeah. No, that's pretty common. And the thing is, you have to remember that blame is trying to offload difficult feelings. It's like, “I don't wanna feel this way, so I'm gonna blame you.” And then—you know, it's anger—have you ever seen the image of the anger iceberg?Joanna: Yes.Sarah: Yeah. So the anger iceberg is, like, the anger is the only thing you see coming out of the water. But underneath the iceberg are all of the more tender feelings, right? And anger is actually a secondary emotion. So you don't start out by feeling angry. You feel—like, like for her, she maybe was feeling frustrated and disappointed that she couldn't find her bear. And those are the first feelings. But those more tender feelings are harder to feel, and so anger is often protective. And the tender feelings also set off that—you know, that overwhelm of our emotions registers as a threat to the nervous system, which sets off that fight, flight, or freeze. So there's all those things going on, right? Like, the blame of, like, trying to offload the feelings; the anger of feeling like it's easier to go on the offensive than to feel those tender feelings; and then the nervous system getting set off by that overwhelm that registers as a threat, right? It sets off the fight, flight, or freeze. And they're—they're kind of all different ways of saying the same thing. And yes, empathy often will help a child—that they get more in touch with those feelings. And I'm not saying that you don't wanna empathize, um, but just recognize that, you know, the feelings are happening, and when you empathize, they—you know, you're welcoming the feelings, which sometimes can have that fight, flight, or freeze effect.Joanna: And would you recommend that I continue to really lean into empathy more and just stay with all of that emotion until it passes?Sarah: So—totally depends. The other thing I was gonna say is it's possible—like the situation you just gave me—it's possible—like, how—were you actually feeling empathetic, or were you trying to just get out the door?Joanna: I think I was, but at a certain point I was like, “I think, you know, we have two options from here. Like, we can continue to be upset about the bear and it—it will make us late for the party, or at a certain point we can move on and make a new plan,” and, like, “get our—make our way over there.” So, um, is that effective? Yeah, I—I mean, she eventually was able to change gears. But, I mean, it doesn't feel like real life to just be able to, like, sit in your negative emotions all the time. And I think, like, maybe I struggle with doing that for, like, a long enough period of time to actually let her—let them out.Sarah: Well, I don't know—yeah. So, I mean, there's a difference between welcoming feelings and wallowing in emo—in emotion, I think.Joanna: Yeah. And she definitely is a wallower, and she almost has really, like, attached so much sadness and frustration and anger to this bear. Like, now she'll just, like, think about the bear and be like, “Oh, I still can't find that bear.” Like, she was just, like, you know, exploding about it again this past weekend. So it almost feels like she's just latching onto it to, like, feel bad there.Sarah: I mean, some kids—she's probably not choosing to latch onto it to feel bad, but she probably just has. So, so what I was gonna say is sometimes when kids seem to be wallowing, it's just that there's so much there that they haven't been able to get out on a regular basis. So I think it is just like a full backpack, and there's just a lot there. And it's not—it's probably not just about the bear. It's probably just like she's—it's, you know, processing other older things too. And you don't have to know what's in the backpack or try and figure it out. But you might find that if you had more opportunities for her to process feelings, then she might not get so stuck when they do start to come out.That's one thing that I would think of. Like—and more laughter should help with that. Like, more laughter and roughhousing to help her sort of process stuff. And also sometimes—so the bear thing reminds me of—some kids will just feel bad, you know, like feel bad sometimes from, like, a full backpack, or maybe they don't even know what it is, they can't connect. Or maybe they're just tired and low-resourced and their brain is kind of like, “Why do I feel bad? Why do I feel bad?” And she's like, “Oh, the bear.” You know, she remembers, like, the bear. Like, I've had clients tell me, my kid will say, like, “I miss Grandpa,” who they never met, who died before they were born—like, just kind of casting around for, like, “Why could I be feeling this way right now? Oh, I know—it's 'cause I can't find that bear.”Or maybe the bear is so important to her that it really is—that she thinks about it and it just makes her feel bad. But I think what you wanna remember when it seems like she's wallowing is that, you know, getting—like, having empathy. And I actually also did a podcast about this too, with another coaching call, where I talked about, you know, cultivating a certain amount of nonchalance after you feel like you've been pretty empathetic and welcomed the feelings. Because I think if we're too empathetic sometimes—and I do wanna be very careful with this because I don't want anyone to take this as, like, “Don't be empathetic”—but, you know, there is a time where you just say, like, “You know what? I hear how upset you are about this, and I get it. And I would be really bummed if I couldn't find the bear I wanted also. And we have to decide, like, are we gonna stay here and just keep feeling sad about the bear, or should we figure out another plan?” Like what you said, right.Joanna: Yeah, I have heard you say that before, and that's been so helpful for her. Mm-hmm. It seems like if I'm not so reactive to her emotions, she realizes that they're not an emergency either.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean—and that's a good point too, because I didn't even ask you, like, how's your regulation when this is happening? Like, are you getting, like, annoyed, frustrated, upset for her, kind of drawn in? Are you able to, like, kind of center yourself and stay calm?Joanna: It varies. I would say I currently am the most resourced that I've ever been—good with, like, the emotional regulation piece. And then that—I see, like, sometimes she is able to come out of it more quickly, or it just depends on, you know, what her tolerance is at that—at that time. So—Sarah: Joanna, it might be that, you know, you're coming out of—almost like you're coming out of a fog of, you know—you said all the things: like the NICU experience, and then the—and then COVID, and then your new baby, and—and that it might be that you're really, finally for the first time, kind of getting to tend—you know, look at yourself, your own regulation, and be more present and connected with your daughter. And all these things are gonna start having a little bit of, um, of a snowball effect. And it may be that you've just had this, like, seven-year period of difficulty, you know?Joanna: Oh, that's horrifying.Sarah: Well, but the good news is it sounds like things are shifting.Joanna: Yeah. It really does feel like that. Yeah. You're—I feel like even if I talked to you a few months ago, I would've been like, “Oh, help me.”Sarah: Well—and that you're recognizing what you brought—what you bring to the table, and that, you know, things have been fraught with your daughter, and that you're sort of starting to come out. And—and honestly, also doing that—doing that bedtime—after-school bedtime by yourself five days a week, that's gonna be tough too. Uh, so you've got situ—just that current situation doesn't sound like it'll change, but you're changing what you're bringing to it.Joanna: Yeah. Yeah. Um, if I can maybe just ask you, like, one more little thing?Sarah: Sure.Joanna: Maybe this is—it all comes back to, like, wanting a lot of connection, but this is also what kind of drains my battery. She constantly wants to, like, talk to me or ask me questions from, like, the time that she wakes up to the time that she goes to bed. And it will be—like, currently it's, like, “Would you rather.” It's like, “Would you rather eat all the food in the world or never eat again?” Uh-huh. In the past it's been, like, “Guess what's in my mouth?” But then she always really tries to make it—make me wrong in the circumstance, if that makes sense. Like, I don't know if that's just her, like, looking for power or, like, the upper hand, or like—I don't know. I'm not sure what it is.Sarah: Well, I mean, if you feel—if you have a sense that she's looking for power, I would bring that into the roughhousing—where you are the one who's weak and bumbling and idiotic, and, you know, you're so slow, and she beats you every time at a race. So I would really try to bring some of that—some of that stuff into your roughhousing where she gets to be—Do you know the kind of stuff I'm talking about? Like, “I bet you can't—um, you know, I bet you can't beat me at arm wrestling,” and then, like, you know, you flop your arm over in a silly way, and like, “How are you so strong? Like, I'm gonna beat you next time.” And it's obviously playful, because probably you are stronger than she is at this point, but, you know—feats of strength or speed, or, you know, figuring things out, and you act like you really don't know anything. And—but in, of course, in a joking way, so she knows that you're not—you know, you're pretending to be all these things, but she still gets to gloat and, like, “Ha, you know, I'm the strongest, I'm the best.” So really giving her that in roughhousing.And then also, like, real power. Like, I don't know if she gets to make—what kinds of decisions she gets to make, or, you know, how much—how flexible you are on limits. Because sometimes, as parents, we do set unnecessary limits, which can make our kids, you know—make them look for power in other ways. So really looking at what limits you're setting and if they're necessary limits, and—and how you're setting them. Uh, and also I think it sounds like it's connection-seeking—like, she just wants you. You know, she wants to know that you're there and paying attention to her. And so everything else that you're doing—that we're talking about—that you're gonna try to do more—more time with her and get more one-on-one time with her, hopefully that will help too.And I think it is okay to say, like, after you've done, like, 25 “would you rathers,” I just say—like, I used to say to my kids, “You know what? My brain is just feeling really stimulated from so many words. Like, can we have some quiet for a few minutes?” And not—and being very careful to not phrase it like, “You're talking too much,” or “I don't wanna listen to—” and I'm exaggerating for effect—but just framing it as, like, your brain and a regulation thing—like, “My brain,” and it is words. Yeah. And so, like, “Do you—should we put some music on?” You know, “Can we—like, think of—can you connect in a way that—let's listen to a story.” Okay. Something like that where you still, like, keep up connection with her, but—and it might not work. She—she might not be able to stop talking, but you can try it at least.Joanna: No, that's a—that's a really good suggestion. Almost like replacing it with some other kind of stimulation if she's looking for that in that moment.Sarah: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I think—I think it's just—I think it's fair. Like, it's totally—I, at the end of the day, with people, like, talking at me all day, I sometimes am like—you know, when my kids were younger, I'd be like, “Okay, you know, I—I just need a little—my brain needs a little bit of a break. It's feeling overstimulated.” So I think just using that language with her.Joanna: Okay. Okay. Great. Thank you. Well—Sarah: Yeah, I think you're—you know, I think that I've—that we've connected at a point where you're, like, at—you're, like, at the—sort of the top of a mountain, you know? And you've been, like, having all this struggle and uphill battles. And I think you've put—before even we talk—you've put a lot of pieces [together] of what—you know, why some of the challenges were. And they do seem to be connection—you know, connection-based, just in terms of, um, you know, her wanting more and you not being as resourced. And so hopefully working on connection is gonna help with that too.Joanna: Yeah. I'm gonna keep that at top of mind.Sarah: And your self-regulation too. You said you're—you know, you've been having—you're more resourced now than you ever have been, so you're able to work on really staying, like, calm and compassionate in those times when she's dysregulated. Going back to what I said in the beginning, which is that, you know, the steps for the meltdowns really start with our own regulation.Joanna: And I find it's a snowball effect too, because once you start seeing positive changes, it allows you to, like, rest in knowing that things will not always be so hard.Sarah: Yeah. So it—Joanna: It gives you motivation to keep going, I think.Sarah: Totally. And, you know, with complex kids—which it sounds like your daughter is one of those more complex kids—um, brain maturity makes such a huge difference. Um, like, every month and every year as she's starting to get older. And, you know, you mentioned ADHD—that you—that you suspect that she might be ADHD. ADHD kids are often around three years behind, um, in terms of what you might expect for them in terms of, like, their brain development. And not—and not across the board. But in terms of, like, their regulation, in terms of what they can do for themselves, um, like in—you know, and obviously every kid is different. But it really helps to think about, um, your ADHD kids as sort of, uh, developmentally younger than they are. My—my girlfriend who has—her son and my daughter are the same age, so they're both just starting college or university this year. And, um, she was—I—she lives in California, and I was talking to her, and her son has ADHD, and she was talking about how much support he's still needing in first-year college and how she was feeling a little bit like, “Oh, I feel like I shouldn't be supporting him this much when he's 18.” And—and she said, “Actually, I just re—you know, I always remind myself of what you told me a long time ago: to think of him as three years younger than he is in some ways,” and that that's made her feel a little bit better about the scaffolding that she's having to give him.Joanna: Yeah, I've never heard that before. That's good. She's also gonna be starting to work with an OT in a couple of weeks, so we'll see if that has any effect as well.Sarah: Cool.Joanna: Cool.Sarah: Alright, well, I look forward to catching up with you in around maybe three weeks or a month and seeing how things went, and, um, good luck, and I hope this was helpful and gave you some things to work on.Joanna: Okay. Thank you so much.Sarah: Hi Joanna. Welcome back to the podcast.Joanna: Hi Sarah.Sarah: So—how has—it's been about—I think it's been about four weeks since we talked the first time. How have things been?Joanna: Yeah, things I think have been going a little better. Like, every day is a little bit different. We definitely have, like, a lot of ups and downs still, but I think overall we're just on a better trajectory now. Um, it's actually—I was wondering if things—if, like, the behavior has actually been better, or if it's more just, like, my frame of mind.Sarah: That is the classic question because—it's so funny, I'm—I'm laughing because so much of the time when I'm coaching parents, after a couple of sessions they'll say, “This isn't even about my kids. This is all about me.” Right.Joanna: Yeah, it really, really is and just continues to be about, like, my own—not just frame of mind, but, like, my own self-regulation. That's always the biggest thing.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Um, I think the biggest challenge is, like—ever since, like, about six months ago, I just have had really bad PMS. So I find, like, the week before—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: I just feel so irritated by everything.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: So I feel like that's a really—just so much more of a challenging time because then things that normally don't bother me are bothering me a lot more.Sarah: Right.Joanna: And then it's harder to keep that connection strong.Sarah: Totally. Yeah. And you also—as we mentioned last time—you have come off of a whole bunch of different events of, you know—we talked your daughter's premature birth, and then COVID, and then the new baby. And the new baby—you know, you're not sleeping that much, and, um, all of those things would make it also have your resources be low. Like, not only the PMS, but, like, anything that puts a tax on us—on our resources—is gonna make us more irritable.Joanna: Totally. And—but I'm really trying to lean into having a lot more compassion for myself, because I know that when I do that, I can have a lot more compassion for her and, mm-hmm, whatever's going on that she's bringing to the table too. So that's—that's, I think, probably the biggest thing. But I think that our relationship is just starting to have a lot more resilience—like, when things do start to go sideways, either she or I—we're able to kind of get back on track a lot more quickly than before, and it doesn't become as, like, entrenched.Sarah: That's awesome. And we—we talked last time about trying to get some more time with her so that the only time that she has with you isn't just at bedtime when you're trying to get her to go to bed. Have you been able to do that, and has it—do you think that's been helping?Joanna: Yeah. It depends. Like, we had a really busy weekend this past weekend, so not as much. And then I find that sometimes, like, a barrier to that is, like, by the time the weekend finally comes, I'm so depleted and really just, like, needing time for myself. As much as I'm like, “Okay, I need to spend one-on-one time with her,” I'm like, “I don't want to—I just, like, be by myself for a little while.” So it's—Sarah: I hear that.Joanna: It's always that—like, yeah, it's always that balancing act. And then, like, feeling guilty of, like, “Okay, no, I know I should want to hang out with her,” and I kind of just don't really.Sarah: Mm-hmm. No, you're—you're totally not alone. And it's funny that you just—you mentioned self-compassion and then you said, “I feel guilty 'cause I—I don't wanna hang out with her,” but we all—the theme so far in this five minutes is that, um, you know, what you're bringing to the—what you're bringing to the relationship has been improving. Like you said, your mindset has shifted, and that's helping things with her. So even if you're not getting time independently with her—and hopefully you can work towards that after you fill your own cup—but you're still helping things with her by getting time to yourself.Joanna: True. Yeah, because then I'm coming back just a much better, happier—yes—parent and person.Sarah: Totally.Joanna: Oh, thank you. That's helpful.Sarah: Yeah, and the—and I think you've—you know, you've touched—just in these few minutes—you've touched on two big things that I always say: if you can't really take these two things to heart, it'll be really hard to be a successful peaceful parent. And one is what you said—the mindset shift, you know, of how you see her behavior with, you know, that children are doing the best they can. You know, they're not giving us a hard time; they're having a hard time. And the other one is self-compassion. So making strides in both of those areas will really help you be that parent that you wanna be.Joanna: Yeah. And even though we're maybe not getting huge chunks of time individually, I am really trying to make the most of, like, those little moments—Sarah: Good.Joanna: —of connection. Yeah. So even, like—what we've started doing is, because my husband's on night shift, he is waking up with her in the morning because she has a really hard time in the morning. So now he's sort of with her, getting her ready in the morning. And then I am—like, we used to all walk to the bus together because my son likes to go too. But now my husband's hanging back with my son, so now I'm just walking her to the bus. And even though it's five minutes, it's like we're holding hands. She's able to tell me—Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: —you know, talking about whatever.Sarah: That's still—that—that totally counts. That's—and that also, um, that also takes care of something we talked about last time too, which is your husband and your son having more time together, um, so that the nights that—when your husband is home—maybe he can put your son to bed and start trying to shift that dynamic. So yeah. That's amazing that you're doing—that. Yeah, I think that's a great shift—walking to her—to the bus by herself.Joanna: And I think it—it actually makes a huge difference. You know, before it was like she would just kind of get on the bus and not really look back, and now she's, like, giving me a hug and a kiss and waving—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —waving in the window. So, like, I can see that it's having a positive effect right away.Sarah: You could even leave five minutes earlier than you have to and have—turn that five minutes into ten minutes.Joanna: I would love to do that. It's always just—like, it's really hard to get to the bus on time as it is. We will work toward that though.Sarah: I hear that. Well, if you did try to leave five minutes earlier then it might be more relaxed, even if you didn't even have any extra time, but you were just, like—leave, you know, change your whole morning back five minutes and try to get out five minutes early.Joanna: Yeah. Yeah. True. So I think that we had talked a lot about roughhousing last time too—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —and I do find that that's—that's really—it works well for her, but I run into this really specific problem where when, uh, like, we start roughhousing, and then she's enjoying it, but then my son wants to get in the mix—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —and then right away she's like, “No, like, get outta here.” So then she'll start kind of, like, pushing him or, like, throwing kicks or something. So—and then he gets upset because he's like, “Mom! Mom!” So then I end up sort of, like, pinned underneath both of them—Sarah: Right.Joanna: —they're mad at each other, hitting each other—Sarah: Oh no.Joanna: —they both want me.Sarah: Well, maybe—maybe don't do it then if that's how it ends up. But I do have a couple of shifts that might help before you give up on it when you're alone with them. One is, do you ever try to do those “two against you”? Like, start it out right from the get-go—“You two against Mommy. See if you can—see if you can—” Um, it's funny you just said you end up pinned down because that's what I often say. Like, “See if you can stop Mommy from getting up,” or “See if you can catch me,” or, you know, trying to align the two of them against you. That might help.Joanna: Yeah, I love that idea. Never thought about that. Yeah, I think she would love that.Sarah: Yeah. So, “Okay, you two are a team, and you have to try to stop me from jumping on the bed,” or “You know, you—you have to stop me from getting to the bed,” or, you know, something like that.Joanna: Okay, I'm gonna try that. I think that they'll love it.Sarah: Yeah. Another idea is, um, what I call “mental roughhousing,” where you're not doing, like, physical stuff, but you're being silly and, like, um—I think I mentioned her last time to you, but A Playful Heart Parenting—Mia—W—Walinski. She has a lot of great ideas on her Instagram—we'll link to that in the show notes—of, like, different, um, like, word things that you can do. When I say mental roughhousing, it's like getting everyone laughing without being physical.Joanna: Mm-hmm.Sarah: Uh, which—you know, the goal of roughhousing is to get everyone laughing, and sometimes being physical might not work. But you can—like, I'll give you an idea. This isn't from Mia, but this is something that I used to do with my kids. Like, you know, one of you—you're like—you say to JR, “Oh—where did your sister go?” And she's sitting right there. “She was just here a minute ago. Where did Jay go? I don't see her. What happened to her? She disappeared.” And meanwhile she's like, “I'm right here! I'm right here!” You know—something like that that's more of, like, a—more of a mental roughhousing.My kids and I used to play this game that actually my brother-in-law invented called Slam, where, like, you both say a word at the same time. Um, so, like—I'm just looking around my—like, you know, “curtain” and, you know, “lemonade.” Uh, and then it's like—you both say it—both—you both say your word at the same time. And that actually wasn't a very funny one—kids come up with much funnier ones than I do—but it's like, “Is that, like, a lemonade that is made out of curtains, or is it a—what—” It's such a dumb example now that I think of it, but—but—or is it, like, a curtain that hides the lemonade? And so you just try and—like, you think of silly things that the two words together—the two words “slam” together—mean.Joanna: Okay, great. That's—that's on my next book—that's on my next thing to read. You—man—you keep mentioning—what is it? Playful—Playful Heart Parenting? She has an—I—Sarah: There was a book—there was a book too. And—Joanna: Oh—Sarah: Playful Parenting—the Larry Cohen book.Joanna: The Larry Cohen book, yeah.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: That's a great book. Yeah, and he was on my podcast too, so you could listen to that. We'll also link to—Mia was on my podcast, and Larry was—so we'll link to both of those in the show notes as well.Joanna: Okay, great. I may have listened to one of those, but—yeah. Okay. Yeah.Sarah: And Playful Parenting is really great for also talking—and, like, Mia is just straight up, like, how to be more playful in life and to, you know, make more joy in your family kind of thing. And Larry talks about how to be more playful to also support your child through transitions and through big emotions and different things—like, it's a—it's a little bit more, um, like, all-around parenting—Playful Parenting.Joanna: Okay.Sarah: But it is different.Joanna: Yeah. I used to have a really hard time getting the kids upstairs to start the bedtime routine. And now it's like—I'll be like, “Okay, I'm gonna hide first,” and, like, I go upstairs and hide and we start—Sarah: Oh, I love that.Joanna: —we play hide-and-seek, and—Sarah: Oh yeah, it was a stroke of genius one day, and it's been working so well just to get everyone, like, off the main floor and—Joanna: —upstairs.Sarah: I'm gonna totally steal that idea. That's such a good idea. Yeah, because you could also send them up—“Okay, go hide upstairs and I'll come and find you.” And then you could do a round of you hiding. And I love that. That's a great idea. Yeah.Joanna: And I especially love hide-and-seek for sometimes when I need, like, 30 seconds by myself in a dark closet—Sarah: —to, like, take a breath.Joanna: That's great.Sarah: I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's—that's so great.As I mentioned before, I forgot to ask Joanna for an update about a few things. So here's the update about breastfeeding her son in the night.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: Hi, Sarah. So, in terms of the night-weaning, um, I haven't gone ahead and done anything about that yet just because he does have his last molars coming in and has been sick. So I want to wait until he's well and pain-free to kind of give us our best chance at getting that off on the right foot. But I have really realized that because he's my last baby, that this is really the last little home stretch of being woken up by a baby at night—specifically to nurse. So that's helped me kind of reduce my feelings of resentment toward it.Sarah: I love that Joanna zoomed out and looked at the big picture and the fact that this is her last baby, and used that to sort of just change her mindset a little bit and make it a little bit easier to continue on with something when she knew it wasn't the right time to stop. And now here is her update about bedtime with her daughter. And for this, I love that she got preventive—you'll see what I mean—and also playful. Those are two really great things to look at when you're having any struggles with your kids: like, how can I prevent this from happening? And also, how can I be playful when it is happening and shift the mood?Joanna: And in terms of bedtime with my daughter, we've made a couple of schedule changes to set us off on a better foot once I get back together with her after putting my son to bed. So I think we used to have a lot of conflict because it was like she was still asking for another snack and then hadn't brushed her teeth, and then it was just kind of getting to be too late and I was getting short on patience. So now we have, like, a set snack time where everybody has a snack, and I let them know, like, “This is the last time that we're eating today,” and then we're going upstairs—using hide-and-seek, like I mentioned—and then just really continuing to be playful in all doing our bedtime tasks together.So, for example, I'm saying, like, “Okay, I'm gonna go into my room and put my pajamas on. Can you guys go get your PJs on—and then don't show me, but I have to guess what pajamas you have on?” So she really loves that because, like I mentioned, she loves to get me to guess things. But also she's then helping her brother get ready for bed, and he's far more cooperative with her than with me in terms of getting his pajamas on. So it all works really well.Yeah, and then just kind of continuing to be silly and playful is really helping with brushing teeth—it's like, “Who can make the silliest faces in the mirror?” and stuff. So, really kind of moving through all those tasks together so that by the time I'm out of the room and ready to put her to bed, everything's done, and we can just get into playing cards and then snuggling and chatting and—and leaving from there after maybe a five- or ten-minute snuggle. So there's been way fewer meltdowns at the end of the night because we are able to just not get in this place where we're getting into power struggles in the first place. It's just really all about, like, the love and connection at the end of the day.Sarah: The final thing I wanted to check in with you about is—you were asking about the meltdowns. You know, when Jay gets really upset and, you know, how to—um—how to manage those. Have you had any chances to practice what we talked about with that?Joanna: Yeah, she actually had a really, really big, long, extended meltdown yesterday, and, um, I just continue to not really feel like I'm ever supporting her in the way that she needs supporting. Like, I don't—I always end up feeling like I'm not—I'm not helping. I don't know. It's just a really, really hard situation.Sarah: I was just talking to a client yesterday who—who actually wanted to know about supporting her child through meltdowns, and I said, “Well, what would you want someone to do for you?” You know—just kind of be there. Be quiet. You know, offer a—you know, rub the—rub your back—rub her back. I mean, I don't know exactly what your child wants, but I think that's a good place to start if you feel like you're not being successful—like, “Well, what would I want if this was happening to me?”Joanna: And I think that really—that's enough, right? It's enough—Sarah: Oh, totally.Joanna: —to be there. And it always—maybe I'm just feeling like it's not enough because we don't really even get, like, a good resolution, or, like, even—eventually it just kind of subsides, right?Sarah: If you were having a meltdown, that's what would happen. Nobody can come in there and fix it for you.Joanna: Um, exactly.Sarah: Nobody can come in and say the magic words that's gonna make you not feel upset anymore. So it's really just about that—being there for somebody. And we're—it's not that the resolution is “I fixed their problems.”Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: The resolution is “I was there with them for the journey.”Joanna: Yeah. And it goes back to what you were saying, where it's like, “Oh, this work really is just about me.”Sarah: Yeah, totally.Joanna: And learning how to show up.Sarah: And not feeling anxious when your child is upset and you're like, “I don't know what to do,” and just think, “Okay, I just have to be

December 27, 1980 - January 2, 1981   This week Ken welcomes author, screenwriter, movie maker Eric Miller (ericmillerwrites.com) to the show. Ken and Eric discuss satellites, the creepy paying with your palm technology at Whole Foods, when Sci-Fi actually predicts the future, Dawn of the Dead, The Running Man, Hell House, The Haunting of Hell House vs The Haunting, story prompts, Shirly Jackson, Richard Matheson, Magnum PI, how prevalent Vietnam vets were in 80s pop culture, PTSDT, the importance of character, dark sense of humor, dealing with serious topics, how you need rules to kick against, why having no problems to solve actually makes worse art, how amazing it is that anything produced in Hollywood is ever good, Full Moon Pictures, Crash and Burn, Bill Mosley, life long friends, directing Orson Wells, working with legends, Phantasm, being an intern, cigarettes, Umph in Triumph, being from Indiana, David Letterman, Breaking Away, learning there is a TV series based on your favorite movie, how everything is more or less streaming for free if you know where to look, Schlitz vs Bud in the Great American Beer Switch, Mark Twain, Hal Holbrook, Grace Kelly, variety shows, the M*A*S*H finale, gallows humor, how sometimes an awful toxic workplace can still produce a good end product, Real People, That's Incredible!, The White Shadow, Mud Wrestling, New Year's Eve, Bonanza, cop shows, setting the tone, The Muppet Movie, the NBA, basketball, Meet the Feebles, Peter Jackson, how nobody can really attain the levels of fame people had in the second half of the 20th century, Bob Cousy, Secret Agent Man, Branded, Larry Cohen, Dexter and how being a fan of television often leads us to reverse engineer story telling and interact with people (not kill them).  ALSO Ken is giving away a pair of tickets to the 945 Arts at the Armory show on November 13th where Ken will be opening for Janeane Garofalo. If you can tell Ken the reason Loren Michaels gave Janeane for why she couldn't quit SNL, email it to tvguidancecounselor@gmail.com and you will get a pair of tickets for the show.  

On an international edition of The Catered Quiz, Doug Tilley joins the show from Canada to answer questions about the movie The Evil Dead and the actor Eric Roberts. We also talk about Dick Miller, George Kennedy and Larry Cohen. Doug's podcasting empire with Liam O'Donnell can be enjoyed at www.cinemasmorgasbord.com

Front Row Classics is kicking off Halloween week with several spooky offering. Brandon welcome Brandon Brown to discuss 1974's It's Alive. This science fiction/horror film came from the mind of Larry Cohen. Brandon and Brandon discuss the film's highlights including makeup by Rick Baker and one of the final scores by Bernard Herrmann. We also discuss Brandon's involvement with the Bernard Herrmann Archive.

It’s Alive Front Row Classics is kicking off Halloween week with several spooky offerings. Brandon welcome Brandon Brown to discuss 1974’s It’s Alive. This science fiction/horror film came from the mind of Larry Cohen. Brandon and Brandon discuss the film’s highlights including makeup by Rick Baker and one of the final scores by Bernard Herrmann. … Continue reading Ep. 370- It’s Alive →

Episode 360 of RevolutionZ has Larry Cohen, former president of the 600,000 strong Communication Workers of America and current board chair of Our Revolution who has spent five decades organizing workers and pushing democratic reforms inside and outside the Democratic Party to assess No Kings and explore possible future directions for it and of resistance to Trump's fascist agenda. Larry emphasizes the need to organize across differences, to change the rules that block action, and to deliver material wins that build trust. He reveals how the No Kings mobilization surged and what it will take to convert mass turnout into durable power. He names the real opponent—the oligarchy that spans billionaires, technocrats, and captured politicians—and shows how Senate procedures, a monarchic judiciary, and dark money in primaries stop popular policies from getting passed. Instead of living forever on defense, he talks offense: defund the oligarchs, fund the people. Cut bloated military spending, expand early childhood education, long-term care, and health coverage. Enforce bargaining rights so Starbucks and Amazon can't stall contracts for years. Take concrete steps toward Medicare for All by lowering eligibility and slashing administrative waste.But the discussion also addresses the prospects and methods of immediate organizing and protest. Youth, minority, and labor participation. A weekday No Kings. A trajectory from five-minute stoppages to national strikes. Campus feeder marches into No Kings outpourings. All to evidence and rebuild the muscle of collective action.Larry explains from his own experiences at every level from precincts and union struggles to revealing conversations with Barack Obama the horrid flaws and important potentials of electoral activism. He describes how to engage without contempt union members who voted for Trump by focusing on efficacy and tangible gains. He discusses the difference between Trump getting many (horrible) things done. Action. And Democrats getting little to nothing done. Abdication. He points to Obama squandering electoral support and a supportive Senate and House with do-nothingism. And he digs into party reform: blocking dark and corporate money from primaries, enforcing endorsements of primary winners, building coalitions with unaffiliated voters where Democrats can't win and more. Larry urges that the goal ishould be better delivery not better messaging. So this episode is about moving from protest to power. What weekday action by No Kings would you like to join next, rally, march, civil disobedience, or what? Support the show

Episode 24 of The Basic Income Show!patreon.com/scottsantensChapters:00:00 Ireland Makes Basic Income for Artists Permanent05:37 The UBI Derby24:27 7 Key UBI Narratives1:02:31 UBI Reduces Crime Inside of Prison1:09:26 Inequality Hurts Child Brain Development1:21:10 The Orphan Trains Experiment1:31:37 Coinbase's Basic Income Pilot in NYC1:40:42 Gen X Needs UBI for Retirement1:51:49 Bernie Sanders on AI2:04:41 Jane Goodall as UBITakeaways:● The importance of defining what basic income is to avoid misconceptions.Basic income can stimulate the economy by providing cash to individuals.● Cash transfers are essential for meeting immediate needs, unlike public services.● Basic income can reduce the strain on public services by addressing root causes of poverty.● The affordability of basic income can be achieved through strategic tax reforms.● Basic income can fix broken welfare systems by simplifying access and reducing stigma.● There is a need to replace certain welfare programs with basic income, not just add it on top.● The narratives around basic income should focus on its economic benefits and affordability.● Public perception of basic income often misunderstands its purpose and design.● The conversation around basic income should include discussions on its implementation and potential challenges. A no harm provision is essential in UBI policies.● Basic income can significantly improve public health outcomes.Inequality, not just poverty, affects child development.● UBI can strengthen democracy by enhancing civic participation.● The impact of basic income in prisons can reduce crime.● Historical experiments like the orphan trains reveal the importance of family over geography.● UBI is increasingly necessary for Gen X retirement planning.● Automation poses a threat to job security, necessitating UBI.● Addressing immigration concerns is crucial for UBI acceptance.● The societal narrative around fairness influences public perception of UBI.See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://bsky.app/profile/theubiguy.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://bsky.app/profile/misterjworth.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Dorothy Krahn, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark,Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership#universalbasicincome #BasicIncome #UBI

On the two hundred and seventy-eighth episode of THE THIRD ACT PODCAST, the crew are experiencing strange tingling sensations.Christian, Jericho, and returning guest Mayra Russo get together for a spooky season-themed episode titled "Horror Hive 2025" where they dissect three horror-adjacent films, William Castle's 1959 camp classic THE TINGLER, German artist/filmmaker Muscha's lo-fi punk curio DECODER (1984), and Alejandro Amenábar's 1996 cerebral thriller, THESIS. But first, THE SPIDER LABYRINTH (1988), MAGIC (1978), THE ETERNAL (1998), PLAY DIRTY, Larry Cohen's Q (1982), KPOP DEMON HUNTERS, HIM, THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON'T THEY? (1969), and ROOFMAN get the jumbo Recently Watched treatment.  They also discuss 1950's domesticity/sexual repression, screaming to relieve tension, surveillance states, punk analog mixtapes, AI slop, audiovisual violence, and inviting your stalker to coffee.Subscribe to Jericho's Substack: symbioticreviews.substack.comKeep in touch with us on Instagram and email us anytime at: TheThirdActPodcast@gmail.com  

Episode 23 of The Basic Income Show!Read: https://scottsantens.substack.com/p/the-reports-of-ubis-death-are-greatlyChapters:00:00 Plugging my newest article03:56 Comingle and Bootstraps updates08:20 Boulder, CO results20:58 Alameda, CA results33:06 Ithaca, NY results47:34 New Mexico launches universal childcare51:03 Flint, MI results1:02:51 New Jersey child poverty report1:08:20 New results from Ireland1:23:25 New results from Finland1:29:03 Child allowance average1:32:46 Tempe, AZ South Park pilot1:34:08 OutroSummary:This conversation delves into six recent studies of UBI via just released guaranteed basic income pilot results. The hosts discuss the psychological benefits of UBI, including increased hope and a sense of mattering, while also addressing in response to a viewer question the potential of cryptocurrency in funding these initiatives. They highlight the importance of community support and the positive outcomes observed in various UBI pilot programs, emphasizing the need for flexible support systems for caregivers and the broader implications of financial stability on mental health. In this conversation, the speakers discuss various aspects of universal basic income (UBI) and its implications on society, particularly focusing on recent developments in universal childcare programs, the RX Kids initiative in Flint, Michigan, and new health results of Finland's basic income study. They explore the positive outcomes of these programs on mental health, economic stability, and the arts, emphasizing the importance of universality in social support systems. The discussion also touches on the economic value of creativity and the need for a more comprehensive understanding of societal benefits beyond traditional metrics like GDP.See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332US guaranteed basic income pilot result summaries:https://www.guaranteedincomeworks.org/researchFor more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://bsky.app/profile/theubiguy.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://bsky.app/profile/misterjworth.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Dorothy Krahn, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark,Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Laurel gillespie, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership#universalbasicincome #BasicIncome #UBI

It's Die Hard in a phone booth!This week on DIE HARD ON A BLANK we're in a glass case of emotion with special guests Katie Walsh and Blake Howard as we discuss the 2002 high-concept thriller PHONE BOOTH, starring Colin Farrell and Forest Whitaker!Slick, sleazy, unscrupulous celebrity publicist Stu Shepard (Colin Farrell) lies for a living, hustling on behalf of his clients while strutting the streets of New York, and constantly making and taking phone calls with the help of a young intern named Adam (Keith Nobbs). However, while visiting one of the city's few remaining phone booths to secretly call a young actress he is trying to sleep with behind his wife's back, Stu suddenly finds himself in the middle of a terrifying situation…when an unidentified “Caller” (Kiefer Sutherland) informs Stu that he will kill him with a sniper rifle unless he remains in the phone booth and follows all his demands… As the two hosts of the MIAMI NICE podcast, our friends Blake and Katie are no stronger to the joys of Colin Farrell…nor of director Joel Schumacher, whose life, career and filmmaking style are all discussed at length. We also get into the film's long and tortured development history, other directors who were considered to helm Larry Cohen's long-gestating screenplay (including Michael Bay), and of course, the surprisingly high amount of “Die Hard DNA” crammed into that confined space. We hand out some awards in the “Die Hard Oscars” and wrap things up with the “Double Jeopardy Quiz”…where the scores can really change. Schumacher stans rise up!TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUqTCsjCsA8At the time of release, PHONE BOOTH is available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV/iTunes, YouTube, Fandango and all the usual platforms!Click here to subscribe to our Patreon feed 48 HOURS OF BUDDY MOVIES!www.patreon.com/48hoursofbuddymovies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Episode 22 of The Basic Income Show!Could Thailand be the first to UBI?Chapters:00:00 Thailand Announces Negative Income Tax in 202719:27 Conrad's Trip To Brazil for the 2025 BIEN Congress26:07 UBI will mean more games like Hollow Knight: Silksong32:56 Cat Subways in a UBI Future45:50 Robert Reich Prescribes UBI50:54 Sam Altman Mentions UBI Again53:43 $10,000 a Month in UBI??58:48 Mexico Drops Poverty by 26% via Universal Pensions1:02:40 Yes, Cash Transfers Work Says The Atlantic's Annie Lowrey1:16:05 New Version of UBIdata1:31:28 Concluding RemarksSummary:In this conversation, the hosts discuss the recent announcement by Thailand to implement a negative income tax in 2027, exploring its implications for poverty reduction and economic reform. They delve into the similarities and differences between Universal Basic Income (UBI) and Negative Income Tax (NIT), emphasizing the importance of real-time financial support during crises. The conversation also touches on the political challenges of sustaining such programs, the potential economic effects, and the role of community engagement in advocating for basic income. Additionally, they highlight how financial security can unleash human creativity and potential, leading to innovative projects and a more fulfilling society. In this conversation, the speakers discuss the pervasive stress related to financial planning and the potential for universal basic income (UBI) to alleviate this burden. They explore the public's growing demand for UBI, especially in light of economic disruptions caused by AI. The conversation also touches on the feasibility of high UBI amounts, evidence from successful cash transfer programs in Mexico, and the counterarguments against UBI that have emerged recently. The speakers emphasize the importance of cash transfers in reducing poverty and the need for comprehensive data to support UBI initiatives.See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://bsky.app/profile/theubiguy.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://bsky.app/profile/misterjworth.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark,Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Laurel gillespie, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership#universalbasicincome #BasicIncome #UBI

The Reports of UBI's Death Are Greatly Exaggerated: The Mountain of Positive Results vs. Pandemic-Era NullsIn this episode, I read through my newest essay on scottsantens.substack.comChapters:00:00 Introduction00:25 Overview03:05 The Pandemic Happened09:44 The U is Universal14:25 The Household Size Problem18:02 Prevention vs Treatment22:18 Time is a Factor26:22 The Control Group Problem30:17 Evidence For Thee But Not For Me34:58 Missing the Forest For the Trees40:48 There's More to Poverty Than Brainwaves46:12 ConclusionSummary:This essay audits the evidence that actually maps to UBI—per-person, saturation-site, long-duration designs with clean controls—and shows consistent gains in poverty reduction, mental and physical health, crime, education, and labor-market functioning.Key threads: COVID-19 as a confound; universality vs scattered pilots; household-size scaling; prevention vs treatment; time-horizon effects; control-group and benefit-interaction problems; marginal tax rate traps in SSI/SNAP/housing; cash vs in-kind efficiency (MVPF).Referenced cases and pilots: Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend; Stockton SEED; Chelsea Eats; Denver Basic Income Project; OpenResearch UBI Study (ORUS); Baby's First Years; Finland and Germany basic income studies; Dauphin, Manitoba (MINCOME); India saturation pilots; Namibia village UBI; Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians dividends; EITC and CTC; Bolsa Família.See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensSpecial thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark,Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Laurel gillespie, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership#universalbasicincome #BasicIncome #UBI

Episode 21 of The Basic Income Show!UBI is in High School Prodigies Have It Easy Even in Another World!Chapters:00:00 The Basic Income Show at SXSW03:37 Basic Income for the Arts public consultation05:17 Guaranteed Basic Income in Palm Springs10:32 Guaranteed Basic Income in Los Angeles12:16 Institutional Fears of Trump17:56 Bright children in low-income homes study21:02 Could Malaysia win the UBI race?22:40 UBI legislation introduced in Colombia35:50 UBI scene in High School Prodigies Have It Easy Even in Another World56:20 Basic Income for Farmers in the UK57:17 Basic Income versus UBI1:03:15 Universality helps prevent corruption1:04:46 Neurodivergence and Bureaucracy1:10:37 Crime and the National Guard in DC1:15:35 Americans spend 4 hours a day thinking about money1:19:35 Patreon SupportersSummary:In this episode of The Basic Income Show, Scott Santens, Conrad Shaw, and Josh Worth cover major new developments in Universal Basic Income (UBI) policy, research, and culture. They discuss the Bootstraps docu-series heading to South by Southwest, Ireland's Basic Income for the Arts consultation, and new Guaranteed Basic Income pilots in Palm Springs and Los Angeles. The hosts examine institutional fears of Trump, a new study on bright children in low-income households, and Malaysia's bold push that could make it the first nation with a true UBI. They also explore UBI legislation in Colombia, a UK program for farmers, and the importance of universality in preventing corruption. Alongside these updates, the team dives into how anime (High School Prodigies Have It Easy Even in Another World) depicts UBI, the struggles of neurodivergent people navigating bureaucracy, and the reality that Americans spend four hours a day worrying about money. This wide-ranging conversation blends news, culture, and research to highlight why UBI remains one of the most urgent and transformative policies of our time.See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://bsky.app/profile/theubiguy.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://bsky.app/profile/misterjworth.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark,Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Laurel gillespie, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership#universalbasicincome #BasicIncome #UBI

Physical media is serving up a smorgasbord of films with reevaluations and those that have found their audiences over the year. They include a pair of LBGTQ films hovering around their 20th anniversaries. Horror remakes, prequels and sequel adjacent films as well a package of hard-to-find Larry Cohen projects. Martin Scorsese went to bat for a 1952 paranoia that was spoofed on MST3K while Quentin Tarantino found inspiration in the first of Shout Factory's remastered Asian action releases. Michael Caine is a badass in a classic British crime film and one of the funniest films of all-time celebrates its 50th Anniversary with a new edition.3:51 - Criterion (Saving Face)7:51 - Lionsgate (But I'm a Cheerleader)16:05 - Arrow (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) (4K), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning 4K)25:26 - Vinegar Syndrome (The Rage: Carrie 2 (4K), The Card Player (4K), Mac and Me (4K))48:29 - Film Masters (Invasion, U.S.A. (1952))54:03 - Shout (City On Fire (4K), Larry Cohen: Mystery and Misdirection)1:13:51 - Warner Archive (Get Carter (1971) (4K))1:19:25 - Kino (Scoop)1:24:46 - Sony (Monty Python and the Holy Grail (4K Steelbook))1:36:59 - New Theatrical & TV Titles On Blu-ray (Lilo & Stitch (2025) (4K), Karate Kid: Legends (4K), Ghostlight, The King of Kings, Huckleberry Hound Show (Complete Series), Emergency!: The Complete Series (1972-1979))1:40:51 - New Blu-ray AnnouncementsCLICK ON THE FILMS TO RENT OR PURCHASE AND HELP OUT THE MOVIE MADNESS PODCASTBe sure to check outErik's Weekly Box Office Column – At Rotten TomatoesCritics' Classics Series – At Elk Grove Cinema in Elk Grove Village, ILChicago Screening Schedule - All the films coming to theaters and streamingPhysical Media Schedule - Click & Buy upcoming titles for your library.(Direct purchases help the Movie Madness podcast with a few pennies.)Erik's Linktree - Where you can follow Erik and his work anywhere and everywhere.The Movie Madness Podcast has been recognized by Million Podcasts as one of the Top 100 Best Movie Review Podcasts as well as in the Top 60 Film Festival Podcasts and Top 100 Cinephile Podcasts. MillionPodcasts is an intelligently curated, all-in-one podcast database for discovering and contacting podcast hosts and producers in your niche perfect for PR pitches and collaborations. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit erikthemovieman.substack.com

A scumbag thief stumbles across a monster, a detective chases a neo-Aztec cult, and New York City is terrorized by a giant naked bird in a surprisingly good and bloody horror movie. Starring Michael Moriarty, Candy Clark, David Carridine, and Richard Roundtree. Written and directed by Larry Cohen.

Send us a textNames can be a challenge sometimes. You're assigned this name, and maybe it's difficult to pronounce, but it's not even your fault! But with Quetzalcoatl, it probably doesn't matter. It's just going to eat your head and move on. It's fine if you just call it Q (1982)!

[12x7] It's another Stephen King edition of the show, but very loosely. A Return to Salem's Lot is writer-director Larry Cohen's 1987 sequel, which finds an anthropologist and his estranged son arriving in the Maine town and discovering the community are all vampires... And making her own return, to Vampire Videos, is vampire expert and horror scholar Dr Sorcha Ní Fhlainn... Hosts: Hugh McStay & Dan Owen Guest: Dr Sorcha Ní Fhlainn Editor: Hugh McStay⁠ "I'm not a Nazi hunter. I'm a Nazi killer." --- Van Meer Enjoying the show? Please subscribe, leave a rating, or write a review to help us keep bringing you great content! You can also show your support by leaving a donation at ⁠Ko-fi ⁠⁠. Stay connected and follow our social media ⁠⁠here⁠⁠. A proud part of the ⁠Film Stories⁠⁠ podcast network. Theme music by ⁠Nela Ruiz⁠ • Episode art by ⁠Dan Owen⁠. Podcast art by ⁠Keshav⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 20 of The Basic Income Show!That article in the New York Times about how little basic income does for kids was absolute trash, so we tore it apart in this episode.Chapters:00:00 Our response to the NYT about cash not helping poor kids22:35 A decades-long study about UBI's impact on kids30:26 Meta-analysis of 13 UBI studies (impact on kids)42:44 UBI for kids would have a 10x return on investment46:36 The $50 Study results55:55 Do we prefer small and universal or large and targeted?1:02:54 Will we get a $600 tariff rebate 4th stimulus check?1:11:28 The Climate Emergency Basic Income Act1:16:22 Cool stuff people would actually do with UBI1:23:13 Joe Rogan talks UBI with Bernie Sanders1:27:47 Joe Rogan talks UBI with James Talarico1:34:46 Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and UBI1:43:50 Concluding RemarksSummary:This conversation delves into the complexities of Universal Basic Income (UBI) and its effects on child development, critiquing recent studies and media portrayal in the New York Times. The hosts discuss the importance of comprehensive data, longitudinal studies, and the biases present in reporting on UBI. They highlight the positive impacts of cash transfers on children's financial literacy and agency, and explore the implications of various UBI experiments, including the $50 study focused on high school students. In this conversation, the speakers delve into the multifaceted implications of Universal Basic Income (UBI), exploring its potential to transform lives, foster creativity, and reshape societal structures. They discuss the importance of experiential learning in financial literacy, the need for universal programs, and innovative approaches to UBI distribution. The conversation also touches on political perspectives, the role of tariffs and taxes, and legislative innovations in disaster relief. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of trust and community in realizing the full potential of UBI.See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://bsky.app/profile/theubiguy.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://bsky.app/profile/misterjworth.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Bob Weishaar, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark,Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Laurel gillespie, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun ,' @Justin_Dart , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, centuryfalcon64, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Tommy Caruso, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership#universalbasicincome #BasicIncome #UBI

Episode 18 of The Basic Income Show!What happened at this years Basic Income Guarantee (BIG) Conference? Let's talk about Zohran Mamdani and his Guaranteed Basic Income Bill.Chapters:00:00 Welcome to The Basic Income Show00:25 The BIG Conference08:17 Union of Basic Income Participants22:29 Newark New Jersey GBI Program Results27:14 Comingle Update28:54 Neurodivergence and UBI35:51 Zohran Mamdani has co-sponsored a GBI bill40:51 Canada's New Basic Income Bill S-20654:33 Georgia's In Her Hands GBI Program News59:43 Ireland's Basic Income for Artists Program Extended1:02:46 Vinod Khosla on AI and UBI1:07:24 New NSF Study About AI and UBI1:15:08 Demis Hassabis on AI and UBI1:19:16 Phonely's New Call Center AI1:26:36 ElevenLabs' New V3 Audio AI1:32:10 Trump's AI Czar David Sacks on AI and UBI1:33:00 Economist Ann Pettifor on UBI1:38:36 Basic Income for Climate Activists in Tuvalu1:46:26 Concluding RemarksSummary:In this conversation, Scott Santens and Conrad Shaw discuss the latest developments in the Basic Income movement, including the recent BIG conference in DC, community engagement, and the establishment of the Union of Basic Income Participants. They explore the importance of mutual aid, the impact of AI on employment, and legislative updates regarding Basic Income. The discussion also addresses critiques of Basic Income and highlights global perspectives on its implementation, emphasizing the need for economic empowerment and collective action.AI Job Disruption Calculator:https://fundforhumanity.org/national-science-foundation-ai-worker-impact-report/Vinod Khosla video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JZg0SuJozoKim Pate video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNFaXV1zeWc&t=443s See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.usFollow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://bsky.app/profile/theubiguy.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://bsky.app/profile/misterjworth.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark, Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Laurel gillespie, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Daragh Ward, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert, Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun, Justin Dart, Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin, Juro Antal, Austin, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership#universalbasicincome #BasicIncome #UBI

In this episode we revisit our conversation with American champion Larry Cohen. Larry talks to us about the arc of his career, from being a youngster too small to hold all the cards, to international recognition as one of the most influential people in the game. Plus, he shares his top tip for developing players. But first, we kibitz!SUPPORT THE SHOW!! Join the Sorry, Partner Posse at PATREON. Get AD-FREE episodes and other perks.BE PART OF THE FUN ...-Join our MAILING LIST. We'll email you a link to every new episode and occasional other information.-Send your bridge stories and comments to sorrypartnerpodcast@gmail.com.These links are also available on our website at sorrypartner.comFind all our recommended books HERE.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/sorry-partner. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the biggest inflection points for New World Pictures was when Roger Corman bought a former lumberyard and turned it into a studio to shoot BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS, which jumpstarted many careers from James Cameron to this week's guest, editor Daniel Gross! Daniel may have started with New World on BATTLE, but he went on to work on New World films like TUFF TURF, SORCERESS and HIGHPOINT while also editing trailers and promotional materials for the company after Corman sold it. He also edited the New World films THE ANNIHILATORS, PRETTY SMART, and UNDER THE BOARDWALK! We discuss Daniel's long career, which also dipped into Cannon Films, worked with legendary genre directors Greydon Clark and Larry Cohen, and edited SPACED INVADERS! This interview discusses a wide range of New World films from two different eras, and Daniel is a hilarious guest with great stories so you don't want to miss this! To watch Daniel's "music video" for Tuff Turf, head here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8aZNZSV41U. For more about the New World Pictures Podcast, including previous episodes, t-shirts, mugs, sweatshirts, other merch and more, head here: https://newworldpicturespodcast.com/ For all the shows in Someone's Favorite Productions Podcast Network, head here:  https://www.someonesfavoriteproductions.com/  

Episode 16 of The Basic Income Show! Pope Leo and AI, Pete Buttigieg's proposal for an AI dividend, and how UBI would enable more people to become parents.Chapters:00:00 Welcome to The Basic Income Show00:55 Will Pope Leo Endorse UBI?12:08 Pete Buttigieg and AI Dividends as UBI30:30 Clair Obscure Expedition 33 Driving UBI Discussion1:05:23 The Impact of UBI on Family Creation1:25:47 Amnesty International Says UBI is an Essential Measure1:29:32 Robert Reich is Now Regularly Saying We Need UBI1:38:50 20 Guaranteed Basic Income Pilots Show Increased Employment1:44:11 Concluding RemarksAmnesty International says universal basic income is essential:https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=oL5pJdr2_r8Pete Buttigieg suggests an AI dividend that could be a UBI:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd-CRhU6uvs -See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/scottsantens.com/post/3lckzcleo7s24See my ongoing compilation of UBI evidence on X: https://x.com/scottsantens/status/1766213155967955332For more info about UBI, please refer to my UBI FAQ: http://scottsantens.com/basic-income-faqDonate to the Income To Support All Foundation to support UBI projects:https://www.itsafoundation.orgSubscribe to the ITSA Newsletter for monthly UBI news:https://itsanewsletter.beehiiv.com/subscribeVisit Basic Income Today for daily UBI news:https://basicincometoday.comSign up for the Comingle waitlist for voluntary UBI:https://www.comingle.us-Follow Scott:https://linktr.ee/scottsantensFollow Conrad:https://bsky.app/profile/theubiguy.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/conradshaw/Follow Josh:https://bsky.app/profile/misterjworth.bsky.socialhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/joshworth/-Special thanks to: Gisele Huff, Haroon Mokhtarzada, Steven Grimm, Judith Bliss, Lowell Aronoff, Jessica Chew, Katie Moussouris, David Ruark, Tricia Garrett, A.W.R., Daryl Smith, Larry Cohen, John Steinberger, Philip Rosedale, Liya Brook, Frederick Weber, Laurel Gillespie, Dylan Hirsch-Shell, Tom Cooper, Robert Collins, Joanna Zarach, Mgmguy, Daragh Ward, Albert Wenger, Andrew Yang, Peter T Knight, Michael Finney, David Ihnen, Steve Roth, Miki Phagan, Walter Schaerer, Elizabeth Corker, Albert Daniel Brockman, Natalie Foster, Joe Ballou, Arjun , Felix Ling, S, Jocelyn Hockings, Mark Donovan, Jason Clark, Chuck Cordes, Mark Broadgate, Leslie Kausch, Braden Ferrin , Juro Antal, Austin, Deanna McHugh, Stephen Castro-Starkey, Nikolaus Rath, and all my other patrons for their support.If you'd like to see your name here in future video descriptions, you can do so by becoming a patron on Patreon at the UBI Producer level or above.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scottsantens/membership

GGACP celebrates the birthday (January 27) of comedian, actor, writer and GGACP fan Patton Oswalt by presenting this ENCORE of a wide-ranging interview from 2018. In this episode, Patton drops by the studio to discuss the films of Sidney Lumet and Billy Wilder, the “unnatural” art of sitcom acting, the disappearance of grindhouse theaters and the influence of “Richard Pryor: Live in Concert.” Also, Larry Cohen deconstructs Superman, Gilbert imagines “Titanic, Part II,” the Karate Kid opens a car dealership and Patton stages “The Day the Clown Cried.” PLUS: Praising “Ratatouille”! Remembering John Cazale! The artistry of Rick Baker! And “Francis Ford Coppola's Dr. Strange”!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices