Podcasts about obscure sorrows

I have a hard time just sitting with one book. I'm excited to getting back to reading, writing, and gaming for the summer! The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is written by John Koenig

Have you ever found yourself inexplicably moved by something incredibly simple and innocuous? A blinking street light in the dead of night. A solitary shopping cart in an empty parking lot. If so, then you might like to know, that sudden shift of emotion is known as a heartspur.

In Episode 136 Veronica and Laurie bring you industry news and events from the world of publishing including the Understanding Australian Readers Report from Australia Reads, and how to find your own writing group. They share more treasures from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows and dive down twisty writing rabbit holes. Plus Laurie interviews author Stephen Downes about his inpsiration and writing.Book Spotlights:Neeka and the Missing Key by Tina Strachan - middle gradeCupid's Kiss by Anna Ceguerra - science fictionGet Off My Lawn by Anna Ceguerra - middle gradeDear Friend: A Warm Hug for Your Mind & Soul by Christina Marie Giuffré - non-fictionThe Players by Deborah Pike - ContemporaryIntro - 00:57Industry news - 10:35Book spotlights - 26:10Author Interview - 35:23Post interview chat - 1:18:51Quotes - 1:21:27Support the showThanks for listening.Visit australianbooklovers.com to learn more.

Jon and Kurt pick up the scent from an earlier episode where they discovered John Koenig's “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.” Basically, he made up words to fit common feelings that deserve and need to be named. Never missing a chance to make up words (in the hopes of one day making it into the OED), Jon and Kurt hope they aren't thrust into “joculimbo” when they try to entertain by making up words to describe the feeling of actually cutting the bagel in two equal parts or the feeling of getting into crisp clean sheets…and many others. After listening, you may have a feeling of “euphicity” (but you'd need a beer for that).

In this episode of The Music Production Podcast, I sit down with musician and songwriter Jean-Paul Vest, the driving force behind Last Charge of the Light Horse. We talk about the evolution of songwriting, the impact of place and sound on music, and the delicate balance between control and spontaneity in the creative process. Jean-Paul shares his approach to writing, how his songs take shape over time, and the unexpected ways music resonates with listeners. We also dive into the role of nostalgia, the value of quiet spaces, and why playing music with friends is one of the greatest joys of being a musician. Listen on Apple, Spotify, YouTube Main Topics Discussed: Songwriting and Identity – How artists evolve over time and whether they should brand themselves or stay fluid in their musical identity. Letting Creativity Flow – The challenge of balancing technical skill with raw inspiration and why stepping back can lead to better songs. Sound and Place – How environments, from noisy cities to quiet deserts, influence musical perception and creativity. The Role of Collaboration – Learning to trust bandmates and fellow musicians rather than dictating every detail. Reinvention in Music – How artists like Beck and XTC reinvent themselves and what we can learn from their approach. Music as a Personal Archive – Songs as layered stories, much like a “palimpsest,” revealing new meaning over time. Field Recording and Natural Soundscapes – Using organic sounds in music and the impact of noise pollution on creativity. Key Takeaways: Step Back and Let the Song Lead – Trying too hard to control the songwriting process can stifle creativity. Let ideas develop naturally. Your Environment Shapes Your Sound – Whether it's a reverb-heavy church or the silent stillness of a desert, soundscapes influence the way music is made. Not Every Song is an Autobiography – Just because a song is personal doesn't mean it's literally about the songwriter. Sometimes, music is a character study. The Right Audience Makes a Difference – Playing in an intimate setting vs. a bar can completely change how a song is received. Music is a Long Game – Success isn't just about radio play; it's about the relationships and experiences built through music-making. Links: Last Charge of the Light Horse - https://lastcharge.com In the Wind by Last Charge of the Light Horse - https://lastcharge.com/music/in-the-wind/ "Imaginary Friend" by Last Charge of the Light Horse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdBHlirBKtE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lastchargeofthelighthorse/ Bandcamp: https://lastcharge.bandcamp.com/ The Sound Book: The Science of the Sonic Wonders of the World by Trevor Cox https://amzn.to/3XGP4ei The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig - https://amzn.to/3XL75rR Some Good Evil - https://somegoodevil.com Brian Funk Website - https://brianfunk.com Music Production Club - https://brianfunk.com/mpc  5-Minute Music Producer - https://brianfunk.com/book Intro Music Made with 16-Bit Ableton Live Pack - https://brianfunk.com/blog/16-bit Music Production Podcast - https://brianfunk.com/podcast Save 25% on Ableton Live Packs at my store with the code: PODCAST - https://brianfunk.com/store This episode was edited by Animus Invidious of PerforModule - https://performodule.com/ Thank you for listening.  Please review the Music Production Podcast on your favorite podcast provider! And don't forget to visit my site https://BrianFunk.com for music production tutorials, videos, and sound packs. Brian Funk  

Have you heard of the word sonder? It's the realization that each “random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.” John Koenig introduced it in his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows—a compilation of new words aiming to capture the nuance and complexity of emotions that can be hard to put a finger on. In this vocabulary-expanding episode, John and Adam explore the sense of loss upon finishing a great book or movie, the dread of chasing a dream, and the awe of human existence. They discuss John's method and motivation for inventing new words and consider the profound capacity for language to show people that they're not alone. For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/RWAGscripts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you heard of the word sonder? It's the realization that each “random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.” John Koenig introduced it in his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows—a compilation of new words aiming to capture the nuance and complexity of emotions that can be hard to put a finger on. In this vocabulary-expanding episode, John and Adam explore the sense of loss upon finishing a great book or movie, the dread of chasing a dream, and the awe of human existence. They discuss John's method and motivation for inventing new words and consider the profound capacity for language to show people that they're not alone. For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/RWAGscripts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, past guests of Books with Betsy and I share our favorite books of 2024! Listen to hear about lots of great 2024 books and the excellent backlist we got to this year.    Books mentioned in this episode:    Betsy's Top 11 Books (in no particular order):  Margo's Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe  The Reformatory by Tananarive Due  Enter Ghost by Isabella Hammad  Ordinary Notes by Christina Sharpe  My Friends by Hisham Matar  Punk Rock Karaoke by Biana Xunise  Headshot by Rita Bullwinkle  Shred Sisters by Betsy Lerner  We Used to Live Here by Marcus Kliewer  Chain Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah  James by Percival Everett    Books Highlighted by Guests: Sam Luchsinger The Biography of X by Catherine Lacey The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig Wellness by Nathan Hill  Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk Moon of the Crusted Snow by Waubgeshig Rice Moon of the Turning Leaves by Waubgeshig Rice Francesca Musumeci  Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout by Laura Jane Grace  One of Our Kind by Nicola Yoon  Nestlings by Nat Cassidy Cynthia Okechukwu Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan  Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler Parable of the Talents by Octavia Butler  Last Summer on State Street by Toya Wolfe  Rachel Kilthorne The Expanse Series by James S.A. Corey There's Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib Anyone's Ghost by August Thompson The Age of Deer: Trouble and Kinship with our Wild Neighbors by Erika Howsare The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas Annette LaPlaca The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride On Getting Out of Bed: The Burden and Gift of Living by Alan Noble Slough House by Mick Herron  Mind's Eye by Hakan Nesser The Penderwicks on Gardam Street by Jeanne Birdsall Allison Yates Cuba: An American History by Ada Ferrer Iris Kelly Doesn't Date by Ashley Herring Blake The Secret Life of Groceries: The Dark Miracle of the American Supermarket by Benjamin Lorr The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality by Amanda Montell The Color Purple by Alice Walker  Jenn Moland-Kovash Shark Heart: A Love Story by Emily Habeck Take What You Need by Idra Novey The Husbands by Holly Gramazio  The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World by Robin Wall Kimmerer  Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect by Will Guidara  Just For the Summer by Abby Jimenez Mike Finucane A Swim in a Pond in the Rain: In Which Four Russians Give a Master Class on Writing, Reading, and Life by George Saunders  The Best Minds: A Story of Friendship, Madness, and the Tragedy of Good Intentions by Jonathan Rosen Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer Come, Have Breakfast: Meditations on God and the Earth by Elizabeth Johnson  Couldn't Keep it to Myself: Testimonies from our Imprisoned Sisters ed. Wally Lamb Carolyn Latshaw The Bridge on the Drina by Ivo Andric That Time I got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf by Kimberly Lemming All The Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy  Nathan Hale's Hazardous Tales by Nathan Hale Monika Janas Ink Blood Sister Scribe by Emma Törzs Chain Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah  When Among Crows by Veronica Roth The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells Elantris by Brandon Sanderson  Tim Mueller The Thirteen Ways we Turned Darryl Datson into a Monster by Kurt Fawver Helliconia Spring by Brian Wilson Aldiss  The Room by Hubert Selby  The Terror by Dan Simmons Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry 

This talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori on 2024.10.02 at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA. ******* Practicing metta for the neutral person, through the realization of common humanity, using the word "sonder" form The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. Sonder: (noun) The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk. ******* For more talks like this, visit AudioDharma.org ******* If you have enjoyed this talk, please consider supporting AudioDharma with a donation at https://www.audiodharma.org/donate/. ******* This talk is licensed by a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 4.0 License

This episode contains: All three mighty hosts are here this week. Ben discusses an episode of Dear Hank and John podcast where it is theorized that sickness might eventually be a thing of the past. https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/dear-hank-john We discuss the statistics of life expectancy. Devon tells us that most humans who have ever been born did not live to be adults. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9Mb0cbDenA&t=636s Steven is finally over Covid and has finished Delicious in Dungeon. Ben recommends the show Sunny on Apple TV + https://www.imdb.com/title/tt18070898/   Future or Now? It's longer Than You Think: Ben is speedrunning Lushfoil Photo Sim. This is a tranquil photography experience. Ben found some really cool stuff in the game. https://store.steampowered.com/app/1749860/Lushfoil_Photography_Sim/ Soilent AI is AI!: Researchers from Rice University have identified a significant risk in generative AI when models are trained on synthetic data over multiple generations, leading to a condition called "Model Autophagy Disorder" (MAD). Similar to a feedback loop, this disorder causes AI models to produce increasingly poor-quality outputs, losing diversity and reliability. The phenomenon is compared to mad cow disease, where a self-consuming process degrades the system. The study emphasizes the critical need for fresh, real data to sustain AI integrity and prevent the potential deterioration of internet-based systems. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2024/07/240730134759.htm Alien: Romulus Devon gives his review of Alien: Romulus. Is it too “key jangly?” Devon notes that Prometheus was made even worse by having the character be scientists, which made their stupidity that much more unforgivable. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt18412256/   Book Club We discuss The Egg by Andy Weir. The Egg is a short story written by Andy Weir, his most popular, and follows a nameless 48-year-old man who discovers the "meaning of life" after he dies. The story is about "you" (in the second person), and God, who is "me" (in the first person). God says that you have been reincarnated many times before, and that you are soon to be reincarnated once more, leading to quite a few existential questions. This story did not feel any real revelation from this story. Ben doesn't like reincarnation. https://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17563539-the-egg?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=rFr9UzthWP&rank=1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6fcK_fRYaI We discuss who everyone is the main character in their own story, which reminds Devon of the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. https://www.thedictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/ Ben tells us about ZEN FLESH, ZEN BONES. https://archive.org/details/ZenFleshZenBones Next week we are reading I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/415459.I_Have_No_Mouth_I_Must_Scream  

How do we decide what feelings matter? This week, Jess and Joey talk about Inside Out 2, compound emotions, cognitive development, sonder, motivations, and sandwiches. They don't talk about Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. references Subscribe to our Progress Report newsletter progressbysylvain.co Inside Out 2 The 6 Types of Basic Emotions and Their Effect on Human Behavior Compound facial expressions of emotion: from basic research to clinical applications Time: The Real Science Behind the Animated Emotions of Inside Out 2 Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: sonder 

"Heartmoor is a word coined by John Koenig in his Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows that means the place to which the heart is anchored, whether that place exists now or ever existed. And that is what this piece is about: the longing we feel to belong somewhere. Whether we've had that place and lost it or have never found it, we still seek it. "Using melodies that travel through layers of sound worlds, this piece calls to mind various homes we've had, wish we've had, or might still have, and evokes a sense of longing.  "I was drawn to this field recording because the sound of cicadas conjures up a nostalgia for the idle summer afternoons of childhood, which got me thinking about home. Then as I read that this field recording captures a moment where an outsider is invited to belong, I appreciated that this sound reflected the idea that when we seek to belong we are also seeking home. That attempt to belong is something I often thought about when I lived outside of my home country for many years, and I wanted to explore it in this piece."  Petanque match in Anduze reimagined by Katie Semro. Part of the Migration Sounds project, the world's first collection of the sounds of human migration.  For more information and to explore the project, see https://www.citiesandmemory.com/migration

Ryan J. Haddad is an actor, playwright, and autobiographical performer known for his on stage and off. His acclaimed solo play, HI, ARE YOU SINGLE?, premiered at The Public Theater's Under the Radar Festival, and he continued his career with The Public, making his off-Broadway debut as a playwright and performer with his autobiographical DARK DISABLED STORIES, which was named a New York Times Critic's Pick. His latest work, HOLD ME IN THE WATER, was recently announced for the Spring 2025 season at Playwrights Horizons.   In this episode, Ryan shares how he transforms his personal essays into plays, the importance of taking up space, and getting creative about accessibility in live theater.   Ryan Haddad   Playwrights Horizons   Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

John Koenig is the author of The New York Times' Best Seller Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a dictionary of made-up words for emotions that we all feel but don't have the words to express. We talk about his book, identity and individuality, contradiction, writing, the human experience, fatherhood, and more. — (00:44) Why use "sorrows"? (02:51) Did he ever expect the dictionary to be what it is now? (05:48) Existential wonderment and loss (08:50) Truth, internal dialogue, and contradiction (14:00) Contradiction of definitions (17:02) Is introspection valuable? Can you know who you are? (20:43) Not focusing on the present (24:18) Self-actualization vs. contentment (30:26) How you perceive people vs. how they really are (35:57) Next book: Sonder (39:03) Does sensitivity make life more difficult? (41:54) Career identity & pigeonholing (44:24) Writing vs. video (47:32) How fatherhood changes work & focus take on his work; finding meaning in community & ritual (51:25) Where does meaning reside? (53:27) Creative process takeaways for kids; self-expression and art (55:15) John's final questions for listeners — John's Twitter: https://twitter.com/obscuresorrows Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-Obscure-Sorrows-John-Koenig/dp/1501153641 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/obscuresorrows Spencer's Twitter: https://twitter.com/SP1NS1R Spencer's Blog: https://spencerkier.substack.com/

In this episode of the Written By Wolves Podcast, listeners are taken on a riveting journey into the exciting venture of a growing band. From behind-the-scenes insights and never before told stories, to touching on a glimpse of the thrilling yet challenging life as a touring muscian, the podcast brings you close to the musical heartbeat of these artists. Special guest, Nic Martin, drummer of the popular New Zealand rock band, Devilskin and Seas of Conflict, shares intimate details about his struggles, inspirations and aspirations. His frank talk about mental health, his passion for music and his admiration for his father Paul Martin (founding member of Devilskin and host of New Zealand's longest running radio show, 'The Axe Attack') will touch the hearts of listeners and inspire budding musicians alike. Moreover, the episode explores the dynamics of a band navigating the New Zealand rock music scene, being in a band with your father, the detailed process of music creation, and more. Lastly, Nick shares unforgettable experiences on the road touring and landing a tour and lifelong friendship with Halestorm. So, whether you're a devoted fan, an eager musician, or just someone who cherishes candid stories, this episode offers a rich blend of music, inspiring stories, motivating advice and a few laughs along the way.  Presave 'The Lighthouse': https://sym.ffm.to/thelighthouse Purchase tickets for our Australian Tour: https://writtenbywolves.com/pages/tour    Stream Devilskin: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3TIlROeJjCAhax6c000Pcd?si=fJSlI-fVTkKwl23g2X7CFw Devilskin Tour: https://devilskin.co.nz/pages/upcoming-gigs    Keywords: Ethel Cain, Lana Del Rey, Florence and the Machine, Sleep Token, Bring me the Horizon, Spiritbox, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Avenged Sevenfold, Corey Taylor, Slipknot, WWE, Star Wars, Randy Orton, Sonder, metalcore, brakence, Lil Pump, Zorran Mendonsa, Download Festival, Lost Connections by Johann Hari, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, Lizzy Hale, RJ Hale

Weekly Meditation led by Rabbi Angela BuchdahlApril 30, 2024 

It’s time for the 99th Sonitotum with Matthew Wayne Selznick, the podcast about making stuff (mostly writing), finding success as we each define it for ourselves, and staying healthy and sane in the process. Settle in for an in-depth and evergreen conversation with historical and literary fiction author Maureen Morrissey! Maureen Morrissey is a writer for online publications and a published novelist; retired educator; and wife/mother/grandmother/dog mommy. She is an amateur photographer; traveler who loves to wander and wonder; and most recently, half-marathon runner. In her spare time, she attends live theater events and rock concerts, and investigates the integrity of roof top bars in her hometown NYC. Maureen has been a writer for as long as she remembers. She began writing her first novel, Woven: Six Stories, One Epic Journey in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic, the day after retiring from teaching fourth grade. It was published in November of 2020. She published a second novel, Sonder: Janie's Story in March 2022, and her third, Seeing is Believing in June 2023. She published a short story, “Win, Lose or Draw,” at the beginning of January 2024, and her most recent release is the children’s picture book Country Dog, City Dog. Find Maureen Morrissey at maureenmorrissey.com. The interview portion of this episode was recorded on January 18, 2024. The other bits were recorded on April 10, 2024. This episode took about eight hours fifteen minutes to record, produce, and delivery to you. Links and Topics Mentioned in This Episode My day job? I’m a creative services provider helping authors, podcasters and other creators. How can I help you? The book that drove Maureen to pursue independent publishing was Walter the Farting Dog by the multi-genre, multiple-award-winning author William Kotzwinkle. You know you want to click those links… I mentioned Norman MacLean, author of A River Runs Through It, as an author who wrote a masterwork late in life. Novels told through a linked collection of short stories or novellas are sometimes called composite novels. Examples include The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, and The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. There are many, many others! Maureen tags the Goosebumps books as an example of a “beach book” for kids. More on Louise Rosenblatt’s transactional theory of reading, which I contrast / supplement with my own position that the reader / author relationship is collaborative. The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig is a collection of various concepts for which there are only words in languages other than English. The flat earther who believes every person has their own personal sun came up in the conversation as an example of a wonderful and compelling unintentional metaphor. Maureen’s “Judge Not” article. The Cult of Done Manifesto from Bre Pettis and Kio Stark. By the time you’re listening to this episode or reading these show notes, my new novelette “Reggie versus Kaiju Storm Dragon Squidbat” will be available wherever you buy e-books and, of course, directly from my site! Big thanks to my Multiversalists patron community, including J. C. Hutchins, Zoë Kohen Ley, Jim Lewinson, Amelia Bowen, and Ted Leonhardt! I’m incredibly grateful for the support of my patrons. If Sonitotum with Matthew Wayne Selznick brings you joy, become a patron! Every month net earnings from my Multiversalist patron memberships is at least $100, I will donate 10% to 826 National in support of literacy and creative writing advocacy for children. Let’s go! This episode has extra content only available for patron members of the Multiversalists community! If you're a patron member at the Bronze level or above, please log in! Click here to learn more about the benefits of membership. This content is by Matthew Wayne Selznick and came from his website.

Angela Tucker is a Black woman who was adopted by white parents as a very young child. Angela says transracial adoptees like her grow up wrestling with complicated feelings of gratitude and love, but also rejection, loss, and confusion about their heritage.  Angela Tucker is author of “You Should Be Grateful:" Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption. Her family story was featured in the documentary Closure. She has over 15 years of experience working within adoption and foster care agencies, mentoring over 200 adoptees as founder of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. In addition to producing the podcast The Adoptee Next Door, she consulted with NBC's This Is Us.   Transcript ANGELA TUCKER: As a kid, as a teenager, I only made sense in the city of Bellingham, Washington, if my parents were right nearby. If I'm walking around holding hands with my mom, people would go up to her and say, "Wow, what a great thing you've done." They recognize she has adopted me—"Oh, okay. You're a safe Black person because you're with this woman who did this great thing." But when I wasn't with my parents, and I'm just a Black girl out in the city, there is confusion, like, "How did you get here? Why are you here? Who are you?" BLAIR HODGES: Angela Tucker is a Black woman who was adopted by white parents as a very young child. This is called “transracial adoption,” and Angela says adoptees like her grow up wrestling with complicated feelings of gratitude and love, but also rejection, loss, and confusion. In her new book, Angela invites us to take the perspective of the adopted child and to imagine what it would be like to wonder where you came from, to experience racial confusion, to long for lost connections. She founded the Adoptee Mentoring Society to work with other adoptees and to foster more honest conversations about adoption. She joins us in this episode to talk about her new book: “You Should Be Grateful:" Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption. There's no one right way to be a family and every kind of family has something we can learn from. I'm Blair Hodges, and this is Family Proclamations. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ADOPTION TODAY (2:03) BLAIR HODGES: Angela Tucker joins us. She's author of "You Should Be Grateful": Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption. Angela, welcome to Family Proclamations. ANGELA TUCKER: Thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. BLAIR HODGES: Let's start with introductions. I borrowed this first question from your book where you describe mentoring transracial adoptees: Please share your name, your gender pronouns, and how you feel about adoption today. ANGELA TUCKER: My name is Angela Tucker. I go by she/her pronouns. How I feel about adoption today is a huge question. BLAIR HODGES: Well, I got it from you. [laughter] ANGELA TUCKER: Wow. Adoption is so complicated. I think in general, society thinks of adoption as really a beautiful thing. That typically comes from the perspective of adoptive parents. My whole work is trying to center the adoptees' perspective on adoption, which isn't necessarily the complete opposite, but it's just a little bit more nuanced than just a fairy-tale-Annie-type story. BLAIR HODGES: This is a question I see you've asked a lot of your counseling groups. You lead sessions with people who are adopted, and you open with this to signal that their feelings might change over time. I think sometimes people get a story about their life and they're just prepared to share that story. When you're sitting down with kids and asking them this question, "How do you feel about it today," their answers may vary. So as a person who has been adopted, where are you at with it today coming into this interview? ANGELA TUCKER: The question—[laughs] I have never had it turned around on me. But yes, I do ask it of all the people that I mentor, and the reason is just because it's so common that folks put their thoughts about our adoption on us. So I am attempting to give my mentees, whether they're young tweens or teens, or even adults, the freedom to understand it can change from day to day. For me, I do a lot of consulting with prospective adopters. And it's frustrating, I would say—this is current, as of yesterday's work—just frustrating to work with folks who really, really want a baby, they want a child, they want to become a parent, and they've found adoption as the way to do that. It's frustrating because that's not what adoption is for. This equation—which, I can understand how it seems like it would make sense—makes things tricky because it makes it hard for the prospective adopters to really have a great understanding about keeping the biological family in your life. Because what they really want is their own child to mold and grow as if it's their own child. That's just not what adoption is. So that's the irksome conundrum I find myself in while I'm doing consulting with families. BLAIR HODGES: Let's talk a little bit about your background. You're a Black person who was adopted by white parents. You talk about them as being progressive and Earth-conscious and attuned to social justice issues. It was interesting to learn about their background and then how that affected you as a person who was adopted into a white family in a very white context. ANGELA TUCKER: Yes. My parents were certifiable hippies of the 70s. [laughter] They adopted seven of us, all from foster care. Their view really was more of the “zero-population growth” group I talk about, how they bought into that idea that we didn't need to be procreating at the rate we were and so they wanted to adopt. I didn't have those ownership-like feelings I notice with a lot of my clients. They were really wishing all of us could have relationships with our birth parents, but we couldn't for one reason or another.   AN ADOPTEE MANIFESTO (5:58)   BLAIR HODGES: We'll talk about that. That makes a big difference, what an adoptee's relationship is with their birth parents, whether there can even be one or not. Your intro to the book begins with something you wrote. It's called An Adoptee Manifesto. I wondered if you could read that for us here. ANGELA TUCKER: Sure, yes. BLAIR HODGES: This kind of gives us a sense of where you're coming from and what you're fighting for. ANGELA TUCKER: "An Adoptee Manifesto. We can love more than one set of parents. Relationships with our birth parents, foster parents, and our adoptive parents are not mutually exclusive. We have the right to own our original birth certificate. Curiosity about our roots is innate. We need access to our family medical history. The pre-verbal memories we have with our first family are real. Post-natal culture shock exists. It's okay to feel a mixture of gratitude and loss. We are not alone. We have each other." BLAIR HODGES: It's a beautiful manifesto. We'll touch on points of it as we go. I wondered when this originated. When did you write the actual manifesto? Was it part of the book or something you'd done beforehand? ANGELA TUCKER: I wrote just a series of statements—it was always on an airplane coming back from doing a keynote speech somewhere. Each of these lines were things I had to find myself telling myself on the airplane. I would go give a keynote speech and I might be barraged with audience members who would ask questions like, "Well, why do you really need to know your medical history? You've got great parents, and they took such great care of you, and they took you to doctors and stuff." At that particular speech, I would be defending why I needed to know my medical history. Every single statement was me on an airplane, ruminating over that one thing, like, well, why do I need to know that? Is it my right? Over time I collated all of those together and at a certain point wrote them all down in one document, and instead of being the flight home from a speech, the flight to a speech, I read all of them in one fell swoop and found a sense of power. Then I started sharing it with other adoptees I mentor, and they were like, "Wow. It's so simple!” Things like, "we can love all of our parents," but to say it out loud, and to say it's not mutually exclusive feels really empowering. After I had collated all these together and started sharing them with others, I just thought, why don't I create it into a beautiful manifesto? I had someone design it, the lettering, the font, and put it up on my wall. Then I started using it as a tool with other adoptive parents who were a little skeptical to say, "What would happen if you put this on your wall for your adopted child to see?" That started creating sense of empowerment for the kids, and so that was really the iteration of how it came to be.   A TRICKY MINEFIELD – 9:19   BLAIR HODGES: We'll hit on some pieces of the manifesto throughout our discussion, but let's also talk about how tricky the discussion itself can be. In your introduction you write that “being honest about adoption is a tricky minefield to navigate, because regardless of your own stance, somebody inevitably seems to get hurt.” What kind of mines are you trying to avoid in the minefield? ANGELA TUCKER: It's so many people's emotions. So many people's good intentions. So many assumptions that this is the best thing for us. I feel like there's the minefield of the prospective adopters, who maybe just want to help, or they'll say that. For me, I'm trying to articulate how, specifically for white parents who say, "We will adopt a child of any color," I want to speak in a kind way, but to show them perhaps that isn't the most responsible thing to do, given their place, or given people's desires for Black and Brown families to start adopting at the same rate as white, entitled middle-class families seem to do. Then I'm also working around, like in my story, my birth mother's deep feelings of shame she has around the time that she placed me for adoption. She doesn't really remember very much about that time. For me to even bring it up—and working on this book was part of that—inevitably triggers her into a space that's really dark and sad. But when I'm talking with her about it, I am sometimes trying to advocate for her, to say, "You really should have had more support." But in even saying that, it reminds her of what she didn't have, and what she couldn't do, which was keep me. For social workers I also feel like it's a minefield because many of them are just doing the best they can with what they have and the knowledge they know. But obviously, it's not good enough if we have one in four adoptees who are in therapy seeking suicide. Something isn't right there either. I think the minefield, if I could sum it up, is that people's good intentions are all over adoptions. It's rare that I meet folks who really want to harm people. Like that's not people's goal. To be critical of it is definitely weighing everyone's perspective all at the same time, it feels like.   “YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL” (11:57)   BLAIR HODGES: Right, and I think the title itself speaks to that—the idea that you should be grateful, a statement that adoptees often hear and, as you point out in the book, some adoptees kind of tell themselves even when they don't really feel it. ANGELA TUCKER: It's gaslighting and it's not gaslighting at the same time. People would say this to me all the time, but they didn't even know my birth parents. I didn't know my birth parents. I didn't know anything about what my life would have been like. But there's that assumption that I got a better life. Certainly, I got a different life. I have really great parents and grew up in a city that, even though it was predominantly white, was a pretty great place to grow up in the Pacific Northwest. But the “should” part—In the book I write the word "should," to me, feels like a combination of judgment and failure at the same time before I've even done anything, and that is irksome, and I also understand where it's coming from. BLAIR HODGES: Is that because you can feel some gratitude? You clearly care for your adoptive parents so much, just like so many kids can be grateful for their parents, and so the phrase is complicated. I think part of the problem is, it seems to really hem everything in. It's very limiting. Instead of saying, "What are you grateful for?" Or "What is there to be grateful for?" It's, "Well, you should be grateful. Here is the story. This is all you should really focus on." It's not curious at all. ANGELA TUCKER: Right. I talk in the book a lot about the things I'm really grateful for, which this idea that I am grateful for the family I have, yet I am not grateful to have to have been adopted. It's an ever so slight difference, but it makes all the difference to me. I don't think any of us wish to be adopted, nor do birth parents want to be birth parents that— So much else happens, and yes, we can still have gratitude for the family we find ourselves within.   ADOPTEE CENTRISM (14:07)   BLAIR HODGES: I haven't had any close friends who were adoptees. I don't have any direct relatives that are adoptees. I think grappling with it came through popular culture and media, and most recently through NBC's This is Us, which follows the story of adoptees, one of whom is a transracial adoptee. That character has become, in my life, an important role model of fatherhood, and to see the story play out of the complications of adoption. For people who haven't seen the series, it's a couple who have two kids and adopt Randall, their third child, and Randall is Black. Especially toward the end of the series you get to see more of the of the racial dynamics play out. I think you consulted on the show, right? ANGELA TUCKER: I consulted on the last season, so season five for Randall's character. BLAIR HODGES: There was so much there and there was so much in that show and in your book that really put my eyes on what the adoptees themselves thought. That's really important. You call it “adoptee centrism.” As you said, a lot of the stories take the perspective of parents and a whole family, like parents wanted a child, they either couldn't have one or for other reasons adopted—that's the story, rather than what's happening to the person being adopted. Talk a little bit more about Adoptee Centrism. ANGELA TUCKER: It's funny how when I talk about adoption, and when I was consulting with the writers of This is Us for Randall, there is this idea of like, "Wow, I've never thought of it that way.” And then, "Oh, how obvious that is” at the same time! In adoption, I often talk about how we are wedged between someone's great joy, which is the adoptive parents often, and someone's extreme pain, which is the birth parents oftentimes. The fact that media hasn't spent much time on our perspective of what that feels like to be in between both, that we often hear about—probably the most critique from media is this "savior attitude" that adoptive parents might have, you hear about "White Saviorism," but the space of wishing we could be with our birth family, perhaps understanding why we can't—that's the story I'm trying to tell and promote. Adoptee centrism hasn't been mainstreamed because there seems to be a big threat, especially to adoptive parents, when adoptees speak out. I am grateful my parents don't seem to have that. They're very open to my viewpoint on all of this. One thing I talk about in my book is how many adult adoptees say, "I want to find my birth parents, but I'm going to wait until my adoptive parents die before I start." That's because they're trying to show love for their adoptive parents, and they don't want them to feel put off or like they're not thankful for all they did. So many stories I know, right when their adoptive parents pass away, these adoptees go try to search, and those are really sad stories often because birth parents sometimes have passed away too by that point.   HISTORY OF TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION IN THE US (17:39)   BLAIR HODGES: I think taking the perspective of adoptees is really helpful and your book has a lot of voices in there, a lot of different people you talked to, to help give people a sense of adoptees' perspectives. You also give a history of transracial adoption in particular. There's a startling moment in your first chapter I wanted to bring up here. You describe a meet-and-greet that happened after your documentary Closure was screened. This is a documentary about your experience. A Black woman approached you and told you that you were her worst fears realized and said you're not a true Black person. This chapter puts her comment into historical context about what she could have meant by that. Why would someone say something like that, that you're her worst fears realized and there's something questionable about your Blackness? ANGELA TUCKER: That was a really hard moment, but the woman who told me this was a member of the National Association of Black Social Workers. In 1972, that group called transracial adoption "cultural genocide," because they felt like white people weren't going to adequately imbue the skills we need to traverse America and its racism. The group wasn't saying white parents couldn't parent us, but that we would have to do a lot of code switching and essentially become way familiar with whiteness, perhaps at a really terrible cost. In my speech I was essentially saying that in a positive way. I was talking about how comfortable I felt in both white and Black spaces as a result of growing up transracially adopted, even though I did talk about finding my Blackness and being really proud of who I was, didn't come until I was in my college years and got away from that predominantly white city. But that was exactly what this woman wanted to work against. She in her career was trying to avoid adoptees having to feel that split, and so with my speech I basically confirmed it's still happening. I didn't know all of that when she told me I was her worst fear realized and so I was really shocked—more than shocked I mean, to have a Black woman say that to me was really tough. But as I reflected on it against that backdrop, I had an understanding. It's similar to how hard I'm working to ensure adoptees are no longer in closed adoptions. And if I went to a speech in twenty years, and someone came through a closed adoption, I don't know that I would go right up to them and say that, but I would be frustrated about my life's work. BLAIR HODGES: Right. “Closed adoption” meaning there's no connection between adoptees and their birth parents and there's really no way to find them. You're basically not allowed to, whether the records are hidden, or whatever. That's closed adoption. I want to talk a little bit more about the history. The first recorded transracial adoption in the United States that we know of you say happened in 1948. That's not all that long ago. Then in the 1950s there's a rise of a paternalistic kind of racism. White people were saying, "Oh, we need to uplift Black people. We can do this through adoption." Or, "Black people are less fit as parents and so we should bring Black children into white families," and so on. That's the context the National Association of Black Social Workers was protesting against and saying there's racial genocide in the 70s, which to me made total sense historically, to see why they would have those problems. But then in the 1980s, which is around the time you were adopted, there was the rise of a colorblind, feel-good, post-racial kind of vibe. It's sort of like, "We don't care what color they are; we'll welcome any child into our family!" Which on the surface seems great, right? It seems not racist, but in ignoring the experience of race in America, it ends up overlooking really important aspects of what it means to be Black and what it means to be white. You say a colorblind, feel-good adoption is actually kind of problematic. ANGELA TUCKER: Yes. So problematic. I remember actually wearing a t-shirt that says, "Love sees no color." I think that was a common adage back in the early nineties maybe.   COLOR EVASION (22:26)   BLAIR HODGES: Yeah, that was my youth. "I don't see color" was the thing. ANGELA TUCKER: I like the upgraded term for colorblindness, which is “color evasiveness,” because it doesn't let white people off the hook to say like, "I just don't see it." Because actually, you do, and you're choosing not to see a certain color, certain races. But in doing that we're only upholding whiteness as the status quo. To say, "I love you no matter what. You're beautiful no matter what, but we're going to put you in this predominantly white space," means we really want you to assimilate to be just like them and we're not going to celebrate any aspect of what makes you who you are. That idea is really covert. It comes across when people like myself wanted to have hair that flowed in the wind like my mom's. I didn't want to have my afro. That could be interpreted as just individuation, just trying new things and hairstyles, or we could see it through the race of colorblindness. Of course I want to fit in with the culture around me. I know so many families who would just choose to see it as the former, as just self-exploration, and put us in an all-Black place. We likely wouldn't be so keen to have our hair look like Eurocentric flow in the wind. We still have it a little bit because that's what is in popular culture. You just have to work really hard to embrace and to see race. We really want parents to see our color because once they do there's so much historically and in our culture we can seriously celebrate. But also, there's that piece of, if you want to avoid talking about race, then it must mean you don't love my birth family, is how it feels way deep down. BLAIR HODGES: Right. You also talked about how growing up in a white household, it might be like the way you talk, the way you dress, the kind of things you enjoy. If you're more surrounded by white folks and not as invested in Black culture, that can be reflected in how you talk and how you act—I don't remember if the book uses the word “Oreo” or not, but it's this kind of derogatory way of saying “Black on the outside, white on the inside.” ANGELA TUCKER: I do talk about “Oreo,” when I'm working with a group of transracial adoptees at a transracial adoption camp, that this group of boys talk about this word "Oreo" and how they are called that, and what that means to them. In the book, you can see their struggle with accepting that reality and believing it, and then also wanting to push back against it, because they understand there are aspects of themselves that don't fit with the societal view of Blackness. I try to teach that Blackness is not a monolith, but that's something I didn't learn until later on. I didn't really, truly believe there could be Black nerds—Black folks like me who love to read. I really did buy into the narrative that Black folks are only athletes. It was just so narrow. But how do you know if you aren't immersed in the culture? So it still is a prevalent term. I like to point people to Susan Harris O'Connor's research where she talks about the five different identities of transracial adoptees and how tricky they are. That our genetic identity might not match up with our feeling identity. Like I know I'm a Black woman, but I may I have a feeling I really can identify with whiteness. Of course I can, if that's all I was raised in. That has changed in my adulthood, thankfully, but it would make sense. I try to give transracial adoptees a little more latitude and some language around the expansiveness of our identities. It's nice, because I think it's not just limited to transracial adoption anymore, that there are so many different groups of people grappling with what it means to belong. That's really a surprise I've found with my book coming out, how many people aren't related to transracial adoption but are like, "I feel myself in your book." BLAIR HODGES: Because they sense that identity tension, the kind of different tensions a lot of different people feel. Your book explores how that plays out in the context of adoption, but I do think there's connection there for anyone who's tried to find a place, or tried to fit in, or had questions about their identity. I think LGBTQ issues fit in here, especially for folks who are trans who are dealing with gender expectations as they grow up. There's a lot of different touchstones here for a lot of readers. ANGELA TUCKER: Yeah, just pushing back against the status quo and our world is expanding on so many binaries we've had. I think that is exactly the transracial adoptee experience.   PROXIMAL PRIVILEGE (27:56)   BLAIR HODGES: Right. Your chapter, "White Privilege by Osmosis," talks about these exact issues, about not being seen as Black enough to some people, being seen as too Black for others. But also—this was interesting to me—the “proximal privilege,” I think is the words you use. The kind of privilege you could receive by being in a white family. ANGELA TUCKER: Yes. As a kid, as a teenager, I only made sense in the city of Bellingham, Washington, if my parents were right nearby. So if I'm walking around holding hands with my mom at a mall, people automatically would go up to her and say, "Wow, what a great thing you've done!" They recognize she has adopted me, and then I, therefore, am given this privilege of being in this space without having to explain myself very much. Just like "Oh, okay, you're a safe Black person, because you're with this woman who did this great thing." But when I wasn't with my parents and I'm just a Black girl out in the city, there is caution and curiosity, and kind of confusion, people are like, "How did you get here? Why are you here? Who are you" kind of thing. BLAIR HODGES: They don't just think it, either! I was shocked at how common commentary could come at you, like commentary at the store, or commentary at a playground, and how often families deal with these unsolicited comments that maybe seem well-intentioned, but I think they're really born of a sort of discomfort. People feel uncomfortable and they just need to say something. ANGELA TUCKER: Yes. So often just out on the playground, like, "Where did you get them? How much did they cost? Where did they come from?" BLAIR HODGES: Or overpraising, like over-attention, right? Like, "So beautiful, look at you." You're like, "I'm a kid. I'm here with my mom…" ANGELA TUCKER: Just the stunning-ness that a Black child could be well-behaved, or kind, or having fun on the playground, or any of that is like, "Oh my goodness." BLAIR HODGES: "She's so well spoken." What does that mean?! ANGELA TUCKER: "Very articulate." I'm always "very articulate." [laughter] That gets back to the adoptee centrism, because yes, a lot of these points just seem like people can't even stop themselves but to gush in those ways, which are racist, but well-intentioned. To be in the middle of that as a kid, it makes you wonder, "Is there something weird about me that only a special person could have adopted me? Or is there something strange that I can speak? Am I speaking wrong? What makes me so absolutely articulate that it's just mind boggling?" Where are we supposed to go with those questions without appearing like we're not grateful for what we've been given? That's a lot of my work and mentorship, is giving space for exploring the comments people make that really do make us question our place. BLAIR HODGES: Your book is helpful with this. I encourage people to read it to see some of the comments they themselves may have made, because we just need to become more familiar. I think a lot of times it is coming from a place of ignorance rather than maliciousness, but we've got to learn in order to not do it. ANGELA TUCKER: Absolutely. I mean, the title, "You Should Be Grateful"—it's funny how often people have come up to me and been like, "Oh my gosh, I hear that all the time! It's the worst." But nobody is willing to say, "Oh, my word, I've said that all the time!" Both have to be true. I think about myself and times in my head where I've had that thought too, and within my context, if you boil it down even more, it's about poverty, and how we view—like, my birth mother couldn't have possibly loved me or been a good parent since she was poor. Let's get a little bit deeper into that, is what I'm trying to also ask for, because it's really harmful for adoptees to grow up thinking—whatever the case may be, but for me grow up thinking—because my birth mother is poor she didn't love me. That's the message you get unless you really face it and name it. And that is not true!   SYSTEMIC ISSUES (32:27)   BLAIR HODGES: Well, and another one is, “She was poor because she has some sort of fundamental character flaws.” It doesn't look at systemic injustices. It doesn't look at how generational wealth has been denied to so many Black folks in the United States, it doesn't look to systemic issues. I think there's also a risk that Black transracial adoptive kids might accept some of the stereotypes about Black communities, of being like, "Oh, maybe I should be grateful,” because of stereotypes about Black people being lazy, or Black fathers being absent, these sort of things that we know are problematic, but they can be internalized by some of these adoptees. ANGELA TUCKER: If we think about why Black fathers are absent, let's get into the penal system and how many Black men are incarcerated, and how many of those men have children, and how many of those men have children they would have loved to have parented if not being imprisoned for a marijuana possession or something that isn't even illegal now. BLAIR HODGES: All while their communities are over-policed compared to white communities. There was more policing there, there are more arrests. Criminality itself isn't inherent to race, but the way we build policing means there are inequities in how people are imprisoned or prosecuted or sentenced. Again, systemic stuff. ANGELA TUCKER: Right. This is something so many people who are at that point of saying, "I want to adopt a child. I want a baby really badly," have a really hard time thinking about. The systemic issues. If I say to someone who is in that place—and perhaps they've been struggling with getting pregnant for years and this is just all they want—if I were to say, “Why do you think a Black or Brown family wouldn't be able to adopt this child instead of you?” That would be so hurtful to them because they're like, "What are you saying? I'm going to give this kid the best life possible." What I'm trying to get to is systemic issues. To say, "What makes it such that you are able to adopt this child and a Black and Brown family isn't?" It's a hard conversation to have at that time given the emotionality of it all. That's a trend I've seen, and it's really hard to talk about at that moment, but for instance if they adopt a Black boy, when he turns five or six and he's experiencing racism on the playground or even from the school faculty, then those same parents come to me and are like, "Oh my goodness, this is terrible. This isn't fair." They can't see it until, in my view, they get what they want, which is the child. And then once the legals are all completed, then there's this valve that opens in their brain, allowing for the possibility to talk about the systemic issues.   PROFESSIONAL WORK WITH THE ADOPTION SYSTEM (35:24)   BLAIR HODGES: You've had a front row seat to this, not just as an adoptee, but also through your professional work. You began professionally working with adoptive agencies, helping to facilitate adoptions, including transracial adoptions. But that didn't seem to last very long for you. ANGELA TUCKER: [laughter] I mean, I was twenty-one years old, fresh out of undergrad, when I began placing children and doing transracial adoptions. It was a great learning experience for me. One of the things I was curious about was how the “home study” process works. Home study can be like a six-month process that if you want to adopt you have to go through all these interviews and background checks. And I wanted to know what that was like. So I started conducting those and writing these big reports for families, and that was very enlightening, learning also about the money. It was perplexing to me how I would be making $32,000 a year in this role, and individual families would be paying $39,000 for an adoption to wait on a list. And I had like fifty families. So I knew there was a lot of money coming in, and where's it all going? Then I would be working with my colleagues who were supporting women who are pregnant. And for some reason, we couldn't spend very much money to support their needs. So yeah, that was really a tricky space to be in as an adoptee, but it taught me a lot. BLAIR HODGES: You seem pretty pragmatic in your approach because you recognize issues with the adoption system and systemic issues with regard to race in the United States. But you've also targeted your focus to work directly with adoptees themselves. You've started The Adoptee Lounge, for example, which is a group you run to help discuss with transracial adoptees what their experiences are like, to help young people process this together. You've landed in a place where you've been a professional in the adoption world. Then you've become more of an activist. You've also become a counselor. Do you feel at home more in that role? How did you land where you are now with this advocacy, writing books, and mentoring individual people? Does it ever feel a little futile because the bigger system continues to plod on? ANGELA TUCKER: Totally. All those things. I certainly could not see myself working to continue helping people adopt children. I knew I couldn't do that. I shifted to working in post-adoption services, which is so necessary but feels frustrating because I'm no longer working at the source, although I do make attempts. It's pretty hard to push back at every step within the child welfare industry. The adoption industry more so than foster care. I think there's a need within foster care. It's more sometimes the newborn/infant adoption space, but I do some work in foster care and that feels much more aligned with my wellbeing, when we have clarity that a child really cannot be with their biological family. There's been abuse or harm, and so advocating for individuals to step up to support them feels better because it's less about ownership and more about stewardship and the support of a child. But landing in the adoptee space does feel a bit futile because I don't want the system to keep on churning out more adoptees. And at the same time, I don't see it stopping anytime soon and I do think when I'm working with adoptees who are in their seventies and eighties and they are grappling with these same things, I think, "All right, there is so much healing we can do in helping adoptees understand all aspects of themselves." It feels very grounding for me. It feels less adversarial. But I also am keeping my foot in that activism space. I think about the Indian Child Welfare Act, which is in front of the Supreme Court right now. There are so many parallels to it and the National Association of Black Social Workers and their statement. That's a really scary law that could get reversed. So I do spend some time in those spaces, as well as educating adoption agencies. But working with adoptees is a beautiful space for me to be in, and for sustainability long term, it's important.   THE GHOST KINGDOM (40:15)   BLAIR HODGES: That's Angela Tucker. We're talking about the book “You Should Be Grateful:” Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption. You can also check out her story in a documentary called Closure I mentioned earlier. She also has a podcast, The Adoptee Next Door. She also consulted with NBC's This Is Us and has over fifteen years of experience working within adoption and foster care agencies and has mentored over two hundred adoptees. Angela, there's this idea you bring up in the book, the "Ghost Kingdom," and this is something you got from a psychologist who coined this term. This is the imaginary worlds adoptees construct as they're trying to make sense of a past they don't have very many solid memories of—this Ghost Kingdom, this world an adoptee can build. Give us a sense of what that is. ANGELA TUCKER: The Ghost Kingdom is an imaginary, fantastical realm where, for me, I decided my birth dad was Magic Johnson when I was young, because he's a basketball player, I'm a basketball player. He has a humongous smile, I have this big smile. In the absence of knowing any facts about who my birth dad is, then it must be him. My birth mom was Halle Berry because she's stunningly beautiful. I don't think I could just say that about myself. But who wouldn't want to be Halle Berry? She has a similar skin tone to me. It's just a little goofy, but it's also helpful in trying to fill in the blanks. I think it's not too different than non-adopted people who might have chosen to go to one college instead of another and they think about what life would have been like if they chose to go to that college instead, like, "Where would I be today? What would I have studied? Where would I live?" That's the kind of place where there's nothing wrong with it. I do hope adoptees don't have to spend much time in their Ghost Kingdom because we can replace it with the truth. For me, once I found my birth parents, they are so much better than Magic Johnson and Halle Berry, like they are my blood and it was, oh, unbelievable to know them. That's kind of what the Ghost Kingdom is. It's not just adoptees. Birth parents have a Ghost Kingdom, especially if they don't know where their child went, and that's thinking about who their children became and where they are living and what they are doing. BLAIR HODGES: You talk about the grief of ambiguous loss. There's a Welsh word—I don't know how to pronounce it. Hiraeth. Do you know how to pronounce it? ANGELA TUCKER: I learned how to pronounce it when I was doing the audiobook recording. I'm still not very good at it. But it's “here-ayeth." BLAIR HODGES: Okay, yeah. It's this sense of homesick, nostalgia, and longing for something that is irretrievably lost, something that can't come back, something that's just gone, and maybe was never fully solid. It's this sort of ambiguous nostalgia. And as you mentioned, you hope the Ghost Kingdoms don't need to be built as much because you're advocating for more open adoption versus closed adoption, meaning kids can learn more about their birth parents earlier, they can know more. There could possibly be contact. Because when there's not any of that, all kids have is their imagination, and their imagination can take them anywhere really. In good ways and bad ways. ANGELA TUCKER: Yes, and I think some adoptive parents may not recognize the hole that's filling, if a child is having a huge imagination and is wanting to watch Annie over and over and over and over again. The reason is we're essentially searching for ourselves, and so let's just make it possible. I advocate that we can always have open adoptions for every single adoption, even those where a birth parent is deceased, those where a birth parent is truly unsafe, or they're in jail. That every single adoption can be open because it has more to do with what the adoptive parents have within their control, which is, if you know your child, you can say, like, "Gosh, I wonder where your traits come from. Your birth parents must be lovers of art, or great singers." You know? You can really take what you see in the child and expound upon it in relation to birth family, even if you don't know them. That is what creates a really wonderful space for adoptees to feel free to explore and not gaslit and not like they have to have a sheer loyalty to the adoptive parents. So that is what I advocate when physical contact can't be had. BLAIR HODGES: This was where This Is Us was so powerful was seeing Rebecca's [the mother's] fear that Randall's [the adopted son's] parents would replace her at some point, this fear he would connect with them and lose her, or a kind of possible jealousy, or he could reconnect and maybe be hurt by a birth parent. There are so many feelings for the parent going through this. You're really asking parents to make room for these other families and these other connections, which can be scary for everybody involved. But I feel you make a powerful case, that all things being equal, it's a better approach because people, by and large, are going to have that longing regardless of what you do, ANGELA TUCKER: They're going to figure out how to get it some way, even if it's like as I shared earlier, the fifty-year-old who's going to wait until their adoptive parents die till they're going to find their birth parents. Finding our roots, like I wrote in the manifesto, is innate. I think it's scary only because we don't have a lot of examples of it. Perhaps it was scary at some point for a parent to think they could love four children equally if they had four kids. Maybe people at some point were like, "Wow, can that really be done?" Now it's not scary. You're going to have another kid? Great, people say. How come we can't understand that for adoptees, we can love all these parents we have. We're not going to feel confused about who's who or who might not be safe, or how to put boundaries in our lives to keep that safety. No, actually, if you as our adoptive parents have taught us about boundaries, just in general, then allow us to use that here too.   FINDING ANGELA'S BIRTH PARENTS (46:46)   BLAIR HODGES: There's something in the book you bring up. The “Birth Study.” This is a document you held to almost as scripture, this sort of story of your origins. This is a study done by social workers during the process of your adoption that talked about your birth parents. It gave clues about who they were. It wasn't until later when your boyfriend, now your partner, pointed out your possible biological father's name was included here and this is what helped open the gate to you reconnecting. ANGELA TUCKER: This study is a three-page document. I house it in a box in my house with things like my passport, my marriage license, it's that important to me. It is filled with redactions. I didn't notice because in the era of closed adoptions, we can't know our birth parent's last name, for example, or I couldn't know her address. It would share my birth mother's height and weight and skin complexion, but nothing identifying. It wasn't until my husband, boyfriend at the time, saw this name I had overlooked. It was an uncommon name. “Oterious” is my birth father's name. That allowed us to then Google and search and find this man who didn't know he had a daughter. BLAIR HODGES: I hope people take the time to see in the documentary, or read the book, to see this story. You had dreamed so long about meeting your mom that it was sort of like, "Oh yeah, there's a dad too! Okay, I'll check that out." [laughter] But you still had that drive for your mom, and as you describe in the book, it was devastating in some ways, actually. I think it's easy to romanticize and figure like, "Oh, this is going to be some grand reunion." But you describe the first time you met her in person again, she basically denied it like, "Oh no. No relation here. Goodbye." ANGELA TUCKER: Painful. Another reason why it's so important that we bring in systemic issues when teaching about adoption, because the thing that got me through that year where she denied me, "I don't know who you are, please leave," we were in Tennessee to find her. Then we flew back to Washington state where we live. But what got me through that year was understanding how deep shame must be for someone who was not given any support to think about what happened to her daughter, and to then think about why wasn't she given support, and to start understanding issues around poverty and how the adoption industry treats that, versus how it treats adoptive parents who have resources and means. I think it's partly a coping mechanism to kind of intellectualize. BLAIR HODGES: Yes, you say that in the book. It was so interesting to see you psychoanalyze yourself a little bit and say after your mom devastated you, you went through this investigation into the background, thinking about the systemic issues and ways you were processing grief intellectually. ANGELA TUCKER: Exactly. I had to be mad at something, and I could not fathom being mad at my birth mother for this unexpected visitor twenty-six years later after giving birth at a time that must have been— I was like, yeah, that is shocking. I can't be mad, but I am mad. Who am I mad at? I turned to the system and all the people that failed her, but then I didn't just think about her, and I'm thinking about the bigger system and all the people who are in leadership positions and what is happening with every single adoption. I was able to channel that grief intellectually and move on. But my gracious, when she called back a year later, that was indescribable! She called back and said, "Yes, I am your birth mother. Come back and let's meet."   WISHING FOR BETTER – (50:56)   BLAIR HODGES: It is such a beautiful story. Not all stories get to have this kind of outcome, especially in the time of closed adoptions, how many people never even had this opportunity. It's beautiful to see. You also talk a little bit about survivor's guilt, because you met some siblings you had. Some siblings you'd never known and you were kind of comparing your life to theirs. You brought a sister out to visit you in Washington, and you would go out to Tennessee, and your survivor's guilt hung around for you, seeing the different lives you might have had. ANGELA TUCKER: It's hard to see that many of my birth siblings weren't raised by my birth mother either, but they weren't adopted. There's one sibling who was adopted who we are still looking for and can't find her. But the others, their lives are so much different than mine. If I could rewrite the book, I might not use that word "guilt," because I think guilt assumes a crime. You're guilty of doing something wrong. In this case, I did not do anything wrong, nor did my birth siblings. I would probably work a little harder to find the right language to describe this phenomenon. BLAIR HODGES: Maybe it's just wishing better for them too? You're seeing some of the privileges you got, because of where you were raised, and who raised you, comparatively. I like that, though, eliminating the word guilt because there's not culpability. But there is still an unsettled feeling and sort of a—you wish better for them. ANGELA TUCKER: And I wish better for myself. Although they weren't raised by my birth mother, they knew her. BLAIR HODGES: Yes, and you're connecting with your siblings now, forging new relationships. I can only imagine how complicated that could feel. ANGELA TUCKER: I think in my birth siblings' perspective, there was a sense of wishing they had some of what I have when they came to my hometown and saw some of the places where I grew up and met some of my friends and teachers and coaches and stuff. At the same time, there was a wishing on my end for what they had. Even though my birth mother didn't raise them, they were raised by my birth grandmother and got to see my birth mom on occasion and knew her name and knew the story. For me, there was a longing for that, that they knew their roots and I didn't. BLAIR HODGES: It's so tempting to weigh that against each other. What's ultimately preferable? ANGELA TUCKER: I think that's what is done in adoption. We do weigh that, and what wins is me getting three meals a day and access to all the extracurricular activities and great medical care. What loses is what my birth siblings had, which was a little more instability. But to me, knowing what it's like growing up without roots, without knowing where you came from, or who gave birth to you, that, to me, means as much. As well as the racial element. They grew up with people who looked like them. I didn't get to see anyone who looked like me for years. So far what has won out is what the adoptive parents are able to give and I'm trying to press back against that a little. BLAIR HODGES: I also appreciated how you talked about your birth mother, how she might have been feeling. You spent more time, it seems, after you met her thinking about reasons why she might not have wanted to reconnect—or maybe just had conflicted feelings about it, maybe I should say—and empathizing more now that you've met her and have come to know her more as a person, that story could fill in more for you about what she might have been up to and why. ANGELA TUCKER: A bit. It's very hard for her to articulate all of this, especially with me having white parents. When I asked her how many positive relationships she'd had with white people growing up, she's like, "I could count it on one hand." For me to think like, "Okay, and here come my parents who want to show her love, but clearly she has to be projecting upon them what she has experienced from so many the other white people in the Deep South." It's really cool now to see their relationship. My parents went on a road trip to the South and sent me pictures of hanging out with my birth mom in Biloxi, Mississippi, and taking her out to eat, and they just had fun. I love that. It's taken a decade, but my birth mother really trusts them now. That relationship is so healing for me to see. BLAIR HODGES: I was really moved by something you said about your mom. She didn't express to you her reservations about you meeting your birth mom. She just showed support for you, and was there for you, although she did have worries. You suggest maybe if she did share with you, it might have dissuaded you from pursuing things. It might have prevented you from having this amazing reconnection, and to swallow her own vulnerability—or not swallow, but keep it inside, so you could have more freedom to pursue what you needed. That's pretty amazing. ANGELA TUCKER: It's beautiful. I wish I could just categorize it as parenting. I would like for it to be in that same category of how parents sacrifice for their kids in many ways and all these times. But I think this one does feel a little more unique. I don't think my mom just swallowed her, what she—I now know—articulates at the time as a fear of being replaced. She had a little fear. She didn't tell me. I don't think she just swallowed it. I think she just talked to other people about it but didn't talk to me about it because she knew I wouldn't want to hurt her. I wouldn't want to put her in that place. It's incredible that she gave me the freedom to not have that burden and move forward. She worked through that fear on her own and I'm so grateful for it. I absolutely believe that's the reason I have this relationship now.   THE SONDERSPHERE (57:26)   BLAIR HODGES: Let's talk about the Sondersphere. This is an interesting term you bring up in the book. Because you're an advocate for more open adoptions, even though adoptive parents might fear competition or whatever, you suggest the ways we imagine our connections to each other can help quiet our fears like that, and offer a more stable experience for adoptees. I'll invite you to read a section from the book here on page 166. This is a section that talks about this Sondersphere, if you would. I'd appreciate that. ANGELA TUCKER: "I call it the Sondersphere, a word I made up based on a term coined by John Koenig in his Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. He defines the word 'sonder' as the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own, populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness, an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill, sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed. The Sondersphere is around where every person in an adoptees' life has a place. Where birth parents and adoptive parents and biological aunties and foster parents and adoptive cousins all exist together. They don't necessarily share a home, like some awkward reality TV show, but instead share an orbit around the adoptee. The Sondersphere is a real-life antidote to the adoptees' Ghost Kingdom, a place where their questions can be answered in real time, where their identity can bounce around and try things on for size, where they always belong, because all the parts of their story are visible and accessible to them." BLAIR HODGES: The Sondersphere. This is a wonderful way to conceive of it. I want to hear more from you about what this idea has done for you in your own pursuit as you've reconnected with your family members, and as you work with transracial adoptees in your professional life. ANGELA TUCKER: Currently, openness is the preferred terminology and method, but when you're working in an adoption agency, what openness looks like is giving the adoptive parents a document they fill out that says "We will contact birth parents four times a year." Or, "We'll send a letter with some photos to the adoption agency quarterly and then the agency can pass it along." That constitutes openness. Sometimes those contracts are written for the next eighteen years of a kid's life. I am suggesting that is unreasonable for anyone to make relationship decisions for the next eighteen years. Instead, this Sondersphere accounts for the ebbs and flows that are natural in a relationship. Currently if an adoptive family has this openness contract, sometimes they'll call me up and say, "The birth mom disappeared for eight months. We have not heard a thing from her. Everything's off. What are we supposed to do?" In the Sondersphere I'm trying to reframe that to say, all of us go through times where we might need a little break, or we might go off the grid for one reason or another. BLAIR HODGES: It could even be health issues or something. Who knows? ANGELA TUCKER: Who knows what it is? But what I do know is it's human. Can we allow for just the humanity? Especially in an extremely emotional and vulnerable relationship like this one. But the humanity is not just accepted; we embrace it just like we would with any uncle we have who goes in and out of our lives. My hope is it can just give a more human portrayal of everyone involved, and that is only going to be helpful for all of humanity if we can finally see all of ourselves as not one-dimensional. I think this is for birth parents, too. I hear birth parents, when they are talking about openness, they'll say things like, "My kid's adoptive parents are perfect. They have this white picket fence, they have a grand piano, they have two Labrador Retrievers, and life is perfect." For them, too, I'm like, "No, no. The adoptive parents have quarrels, they struggle, they have fights, they love your kid, but no, everything is not perfect.” That's currently the system we've designed.   LEGAL ISSUES (1:02:13)   BLAIR HODGES: I really appreciate the attention you give to being more supportive of birth moms in general, that the amount of resources we put into foster and adoption, there might be a reckoning we could do to see if there are more social supports we could give to mothers and to fathers or to couples or single individuals who are having children, to support them in having children and keeping them and raising them if possible. The kind of systemic interventions that could help, instead of so many resources going on the other side of things in adoption and fostering. ANGELA TUCKER: It's pretty wild. People sometimes ask, "How did your birth dad not know about you?" They were like, "I can understand how your birth mom might have hid the pregnancy and stuff, but how did his rights get legally terminated?" I share how that process works, which is, for my birth father and many men, an attorney will put an ad in a paper, and that ad needs to run for a couple months. This varies by county, but an ad might say like, "Did you know So-and-So? Were you at this place on this date? If so, call us." My birth dad never picked up the paper, much less the classified section where the font is size eight, and nobody reads that. Once that ad runs, that's essentially giving them an opportunity to step forward even though they may never see it, and then John Doe's rights are terminated. They terminate every single man in America's rights to parent me. BLAIR HODGES: What's your wish list for legal issues? If there's one or two big things you would change legally, what would those be, for the system itself? ANGELA TUCKER: One of them is the Multi-Ethnic Placement Act, which is really troublesome. It basically says that any adoption agency that receives federal money cannot mandate that prospective adopters take courses around cultural competency, that it can only be an extra—like, if you want to learn about this stuff then great, but you don't have to. That has got to change because I do feel like cultural competency is as important as feeding a child. That would be great to start. The other part of the Multi-Ethnic Placement Act requires agencies to work harder to recruit Black and Brown families to become adoptive parents. It's not a measurable part of the law, and so even the agencies who know about this law will just say, "How are we supposed to do that? We tried." I'd love to see some measurable items added to that to show how agencies can change things to start attracting more Black and Brown parents. BLAIR HODGES: It sounds like we need some more creativity there. You're a transracial adoptee yourself, you love your parents, you have an amazing story. But you've also experienced turmoil and tension and cultural issues because of transracial adoption. Like we said at the beginning, it's a bit of a minefield in recognizing the strengths and gifts of parents who transracially adopt and the strengths and gifts of transracial adoptees themselves, but also some of the downsides. Cultural competency training would be a good start, but also, as you said, making adoption more equalized, and seeing a greater diversity of adoptive families seems like a pretty good place to start. ANGELA TUCKER: Yes.   REGRETS, CHALLENGES, & SURPRISES! (1:05:50)   BLAIR HODGES: That's Angela Tucker, author of “You Should Be Grateful:” Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption. Alright, Angela, we always like to close Family Proclamations with a question about regrets, challenges, and surprises. You mentioned a regret a little bit earlier about not using the word "guilt," survivor's guilt, that's an interesting regret. If you have any other ones, you can bring them up now. Or if you can think of anything that challenged you in writing this book, any obstacles you faced, or anything that surprised you, some new discovery, or new way of seeing the issue. This is a “choose your own adventure,” you can speak to all three of those, or you can pick one of them. It's up to you. ANGELA TUCKER: Let me talk about a challenge. When I began writing the book, I was asking my birth mom questions about her time when she was pregnant when she kept it a secret. How did you keep it a secret? Did anybody know? When did you find out? How did you get to the hospital? Did somebody drive you there? Where did you go after you gave birth to me? Did you have a home? I was asking her all these questions. Her answer was basically like, I don't know. I don't remember. I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't know. I was like, okay, I just need to work with that. It's twofold. It's one, emotional for me, but then two, to write this book, how do I do that? At some point I toyed with the idea of writing a fictionized version. I said to my birth mother, let's just say there's this character named Deborah, which is my birth mother's name, who finds herself pregnant and needs to get to the hospital, but nobody knows. How would she do that in this book? And she just started telling me stuff about herself. She still couldn't remember a lot, but when I fictionalized it, it was different. It wasn't just, "I can't even go there." That was profound. It was the separation Deborah needed to get a little closer. It made me sad because I thought, “Somebody give her a therapist.” If I could be her therapist right now, I think we could unlock so much of her trauma and shame. Anyways, it was a tactic I just threw out there. I'm grateful I didn't have to fictionalize, but I did learn a lot. I didn't put all that I learned from her in that moment in the book, just to keep her integrity, but that was a major surprise through the writing process. BLAIR HODGES: Overall did you find it hard to talk so personally? The book's really personal. It also has some great theory, it's got some great connections with other folks, but it's also personal. Was that challenging for you? It seems like you've been used to talking about your story. Maybe that comes along with being an adoptee, where people already feel like they should have access to your story. ANGELA TUCKER: There's that for sure. I enjoyed writing. I really loved that process. It was quiet and thoughtful and pensive. I didn't have the naysayers and things I do when I speak about my story online or in other formats where people can right away be like, "What are you talking about," and they come at me. I loved it. The part where I found myself feeling emotional was when I was reading the audiobook, surprisingly enough. I had moments where I was just like, what happened? I wrote these words, but I had to take some breaks. That was a surprise. BLAIR HODGES: I've just got one more for you, and this connects to perhaps another episode. You talk about how you and your partner chose not to parent, at least as of the time of writing of the book. And we'll have other episodes that talk about single adults and married folks who choose not to have kids. Do you think that's connected to your experience of adoption? Do you feel like that's related to a lot of different things? ANGELA TUCKER: I certainly think it's connected. Being child-free by choice is something I'm proud of. But I know so many often get questions: "Why would you do that? You and your husband have the resources and the love and all of these things." I love being an auntie to so many. I love being a mentor. I think my and Brian's, our kind of ethos has a lot to do with the poem I quoted at the beginning of the book by Khalil Gibran called On Children, where we don't believe parenting needs to look like ownership of a child, but we can be in people's lives in a way that helps them thrive. We do that. We have people who live in our home with us who we aren't related to, but we can support in certain ways, and they can view us using whatever term they want. That feels really in alignment with the past. We love doing that. BLAIR HODGES: That's cool. Well, as I said, people can check out other episodes that will talk about that angle. Angela, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk about your book, “You Should Be Grateful.” It's a phenomenal book, a helpful and eye-opening book. ANGELA TUCKER: Thank you. BLAIR HODGES: Thanks for listening. There's much more to come on Family Proclamations. If you're enjoying the show, why not take a second to rate and review it? Go to Apple Podcasts and let me know your thoughts. And please take a second to recommend the show to a friend. The more the merrier. Thanks to Mates of State for providing our theme song. Family Proclamations is part of the Dialogue Podcast Network. I'm Blair Hodges, and I'll see you next time.   Note: Transcripts have been edited for readability.

Two decades ago, Business Week said today's guest “may be the ultimate entrepreneur for the Information Age,” because he's as focused on spreading ideas as the ideas themselves. He is a world-renowned speaker and author of 18 books that have been bestsellers around the world and have been translated into more than 35 languages. Entrepreneur said his blog was “one of the most-loved marketing blogs on the internet.” He writes about the post-industrial revolution, the way ideas spread, marketing, quitting leadership, and most of all, changing everything. Some of his most well-known books include “Linchpin,” “Tribes,” “The Dip,” and “Purple Cow.” At the time of this interview, his latest book was “This Is Marketing.”  He has founded several companies including Yoyodyne and Squidoo – and he is the founder of altMBA and The Marketing Seminar, online workshops that have transformed the work of thousands of people. In recognition of his ability to create and spread powerful ideas, he was inducted into the American Marketing Association's Marketing Hall of Fame. Please join me in welcoming Seth Godin. Dive into an insightful conversation with Seth Godin as he shares wisdom on leadership, marketing, and the power of spreading ideas to create positive change in the world. In this episode, we discuss: ⭐ Seth emphasizes the importance of earning trust in leadership, discerning who genuinely aligns with your vision and those who don't. ⭐ Learn from his journey as he shares insights on accepting failure, discovering his leadership strengths, and the essence of true marketing that brings about meaningful change. ⭐ Gain valuable perspectives on education, parenting, and future skills as Seth discusses how schools cultivate compliance and the role of parents in nurturing essential skills in children. ⭐ Explore his marketing philosophy centered around clarity of purpose, understanding the audience's needs, and maintaining an abundance mindset focused on giving rather than receiving.  Listen to this episode with Seth Godin for a marketing masterclass that'll leave you feeling like you've hit the jackpot of ideas! Links Seth Godin on Twitter and LinkedIn www. sethgodin.com www.seth.blog Seth's podcast: Akimbo Sonder – n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. Watch 2-minute video from “Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.” Books mentioned in this episode: “Croissants vs. Bagels: Strategic, Effective, and Inclusive Networking at Conferences” by Robbie Samuels “This is Marketing: You Can't Be Seen Until You Learn to See” by Seth Godin Seth's written nearly 20 books. You'll find them all, including “Linchpin,” “Tribes,” “The Dip,” “Purple Cow” at his Amazon Author Page. On the Schmooze is a podcast that features interviews with talented professionals who have overcome challenges to achieve success. I ask probing questions, and guests share untold stories about their leadership journey and how they built and sustained their professional network. Subscribing (or following) and leaving a rating and review wherever you are listening helps this podcast be discovered. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Born and raised in Northeast Ohio, Athena Dixon is a poet, essayist, and editor. She is the author of The Loneliness Files, The Incredible Shrinking Woman, and No God In This Room, winner of the Intersectional Midwest Chapbook Contest. In this episode, Annmarie and Athena talk about mental health, women who die alone, and how having loneliness in common might just be the connection we need to take better care of one another. Episode Sponsors: A Novel Idea – A community-minded bookstore and event space in East Passyunk, Philadelphia. At A Novel Idea, we hope to create and foster a space of diversity and inclusivity, and we want to help our customers fall in love with books, either for the first time or the millionth. More than anything, our goal is to cultivate community. Stop in or shop online at anovelideaphilly.com. Zora's Den – Dedicated to empowering the lives of Black women writers. At Zora's Den, we host a monthly reading   series, conduct workshops, and invite writers to share their work-in-progress for feedback and constructive criticism. Our hope is to build a sisterhood of writers at every level of accomplishment and to strengthen the voices of the unheard and unacknowledged. If you're a Black woman writer, you're welcome to join us. Learn more at zorasden.com. Titles Discussed in This Episode: The Loneliness Files, by Athena Dixon The Incredible Shrinking Woman, by Athena Dixon No God in This Room, by Athena Dixon The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, by John Koenig Their Eyes Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston Here's a sneak peak of the movie Goodfellas. Here's the video for Hollywood by Victoria Monét. Follow Athena Dixon: Instagram: @the_muse_paper Twitter: @AthenaDDixon Facebook: @athenadevondixon athenadixon.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tonight's prompt is from a new source: The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig. We discuss all things related to the prompt, which is: bareleveling v. intr. trying to improve yourself without anyone else knowing about it, afraid that they'll think it's silly or grandiose or unnecessary, or that they'll end up calling too much attention to your efforts, transforming a casual tweak into a flashy rebranding campaign. Armenian punt (barelavvel), to become better. Pronounced "bair-lev-uhl-ing." Stories begin around the 16:40 mark and include life as a bookseller; a character having a conversation; a journey; and a poem about vulnerability. Check out our website for a featured story from this week's episode, and be sure to follow us on Instagram (if that's your sort of thing). Please do send us an email with your story if you write along, which we hope you will do. Episodes of Radio FreeWrite are protected by a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International (CC BY-ND 4.0) license. All Stories remain the property of their respective authors.

Jonathon Shannon is a Sydney-based writer and creative director. His work has been recognised at the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity, screened at the St Kilda Film Festival, and is housed in the permanent archives of the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York. Bound to Happen is his debut novel.Our interview begins at 00.21.00We've got a Substack publication now! On the last day of the month, we share recommendations for two things we reckon you should read/watch/listen to. The beauty of Substack is you can revisit all our old editions and comment on our episode updates to share your thoughts. Come say hi! Caitlin recommends: The House that Joy Built by Holly Ringland*An inspiring non-fiction book exploring creativity and encouraging us to do things purely for the joy of them. Michelle recommends: Begin Again by Helly ActonFrankie dies in a freak kebab-related accident and then she's faced with a choice: she can look at several turning points of her life and experience how it would have unfolded. Does she want to begin again in one of those lives or move to the Final Destination?In this interview, we chat about:Deciding how much scientific theory to include in the book through the character of Sophie, an astrophysicistWTF is 'string theory', and what does it have to do with love?The difficulty of translating and sharing music through wordsWhat's the line between romantic moves and creepy moves – and how do you make sure you're writing a poetic character, not a weirdoWhy don't more straight men read or write romance?Jonathan's journey from copywriter to published authorWhat it's like to have a spouse also publishing novelsBooks and other things mentioned:The Midnight Library by Matt HaigThis is Not a Book About Benedict Cumberbatch by Tabitha CarvanMinnie Darke (author – listen to our interview here)Sliding Doors (film)Quantum Leap (TV series)Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins-ReidThe Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John KoenigDark Mode by Ashleigh Kalagian-Blunt (listen to our interview)Sleepless in Seattle (film)Love, Actually (film)500 Days of Summer (film)Matthew Reilly (author)Follow @jonathonshannonauthor on InstagramBound to Happen is out now. Thank you to Ultimo Press for providing copies of the book in preparation for the interview. Connect with us on Instagram: @betterwordspod

Everyone deserves to be happy, but do they know they are happy? Mike's got a new theory on happiness, and it works! Also a new word from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/michael-a-glenn/message

If you want to raise capital from doctors, learn Pranay Parikh's four steps to do it on today's episode. Welcome to Pillars of Wealth Creation, where we talk about building financial freedom with a special focus in business and Real Estate. Follow along as Todd Dexheimer interviews top entrepreneurs, investors, advisers and coaches. Pranay Parikh is a Physician, investor, and entrepreneur. Pranay has a passion for helping other doctors reach financial independence and do more of what they love. He is obsessed with becoming the best version of himself whether it be in business, education, fitness, marriage, or family. Now Prayany seeks to teach others so they can skip all the missteps and struggles he had to go through. Four steps to raising capital from doctors 1. Identity 2. Figure out your Why 3. Figure out what you want 4. Build a system together 3 Pillars 1. Personal development 2. Real estate 3. Stock market Books: The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig You can connect with Pranay at www.ascentequitygroup.com/start or Pranay@ascentequitygroup.com Interested in coaching? Schedule a call with Todd at www.coachwithdex.com Connect with Pillars Of Wealth Creation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/PillarsofWealthCreation/ Subscribe to our email list at www.pillarsofwealthcreation.com Subscribe to our YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/c/PillarsOfWealthCreation

Another excerpt from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows... "Maru Mori", and a Celtic uppity woman story --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/michael-a-glenn/message

Carrying on from this week's earlier episode..."Pour Me a Vacation" Human beings trying to create Artificial Intelligence is going to go horribly, horribly wrong. Army spends millions to identify sunny days and cloudy days Bad advice from an eating disorders AI counselor Lawyering with AI Systemic misogyny The sender's interrobang (yes, it's an actual punctuation mark...and it's Jeff's favorite) Free plugs Perfect English Grammar by Grant Barrett The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig Ringlorn Funkenzwangsvorstellung Mauerbauertraurigkeit If you can properly pronounce this word (Jeff had his buddy Pedanticles by his side so I'm kowtowing under protest to Jeff's desires) 15 ways to connect people and getting them to go away (Thanks, Cynthia!) Unprepared for homelessness Rotting corpses vs. sock puppets Think Jeff can deepfake me into an episode?The James Delay was intentionally 27 minutes long All of our downloads are inexplicable, and yet...still: NO...WY...O...MING Jeff has choice words for you. Chris has just given up (despite his assertions to the contrary) If you are the first listener from Wyoming you're gettin' an RnR Swag Bag.Bounty Hunters get one too. Are they Wyomingites or Wyomingians? Yes, yes they are Thanks, Lone Star!Creators & Guests Jeff Feightner - Host Chris Dubbelde - Host If you're ready to make a podcast, make your podcast better or collaborate in another way, contact us at makemypod@fytepro.com

Bazı anlar vardır ki, hissettiğimiz duyguyu sadece biz hissediyormuşuz gibi gelir. Bu video aslında birçok insanın yaşadığı ama adını koyamadığı 10 duyguyu anlattım. Kaynak olarak John Koenig'in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows isimli web sitesini kullandım.

Happy Thursday! Today, we are taking inspiration from the great John Koenig, and reminding ourselves that we don't need to be brilliant from day one. The quote that forms the basis of this episode is from John Koenig's Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, and I just want to tell you, it is a masterpiece and I wholeheartedly recommend it! And don't forget... I'm still on a mission to meet you! I'm on a mission to meet with 100 with listeners of the podcast, to get to know you, and to find out how your language journey is going and what carving your own path means to you.  If you fancy a cuppa and a 30 minute chat about all things language learning, I would love to hear from you! And of course, it's completely free, and nobody is going to try and sell you anything. Sign up here at calendly.com/teawithemily/100conversations or in my Instagram bio. Join your host, Emily Richardson, every weekday for a short and snappy dose of language courage to get you unstuck, whether you love languages or whether you really don't, but need to learn one anyway. Emily is the tiny and colourful creator of Tea with Me, a platform to help multi-passionate and unconventional language learners splash language into every part of their lives. She is also the author of the How to Be Me series of language journals to help you to tell the stories that really matter in your new language. Join her on Instagram at @teawithemily or visit her website at https://teawithemily.com/ A huge thank you to Samuel Peter Davies for the happiest music in the world, and to Anna Bovi Diamond for using every colour in the box on the cover art.

watashiato - n. curiosity about the impact you've had on the lives of the people you know, wondering which of your harmless actions or long-forgotten words might have altered the plot of their stories in ways you'll never get to see. I found this word in the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, which is excerpted at this site. This book includes new words that describe emotions in great depth. One of the descriptions was the word above, watashiato. Of the few dozen I read, this was the one that stood out to me, and it's something I've experienced. Maybe more than just being curious, though. Read the rest of Watashiato

Are you an Accredited Investor that's tired of getting crushed by paying so much in income tax? Find out how we're helping others like you keep Uncle Sam out of your pocket. Click the link HERE.  Going Long Podcast Episode 310: How Collaborating With Others Can Be The Key to Your Investing Success ( To see the Video Version of today's conversation just CLICK HERE. ) In the conversation with today's guest, Pranay Parikh, you'll learn the following:   [00:35 - 03:34] Show introduction with comments from Billy. [03:34 - 07:56] Guest introduction and first questions. [07:46  - 16:22] The backstory and decisions made that led  Pranay to this point in his journey. [16:22 - 22:57] Pranay explains how he was able to come back from failures and move forward towards success. [22:57 - 27:24] What it was that initially attracted Pranay to Real Estate when there were so many other paths that he could have taken. [27:24 - 30:16] Why Pranay decided to take the route of collaboration in investing rather than the solo route. [30:16 - 32:06] Pranay tells us all about his podcast, ‘From M.D. to Entrepreneur'. Here's what Pranay shared with us during today's conversation:    Where in the world Pranay is currently based: Echo Park, Los Angeles. The most positive thing to happen in the past 24 hours: Pranay found out that he is going to save hundreds of thousands of dollars on a rate cap because of the current economic climate! Favourite city in Europe: Paris, France. A mistake that  Pranay would like you to learn from so that you don't have to pay full price:  Don't put all your eggs in one basket when you are going into a totally new kind of investment that you aren't knowledgeable about. Book Recommendation: The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, by John Koenig. - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dictionary-Obscure-Sorrows-John-Koenig/dp/1501153641    Be sure to reach out and connect with Pranay Parikh by using the info below:      Company Website: https://ascentequitygroup.com/  Podcast Website: https://www.frommd.com/  Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-md-to-entrepreneur-with-dr-pranay-parikh/id1625547221    To see the Video Version of today's conversation just CLICK HERE.   How to leave a review for The Going Long Podcast: https://youtu.be/qfRqLVcf8UI     Start taking action TODAY so that you can gain more Education and Control over your financial life.   Are you an Accredited Investor that's tired of getting crushed by paying so much in income tax? Find out how we're helping others like you keep Uncle Sam out of your pocket. Go to https://www.firstgencp.com/goinglong   Be sure to connect with Billy!  He's made it easy for you to do…Just go to any of these sites:   Website: www.billykeels.com Youtube: billykeels Facebook: Billy Keels Fan Page Instagram: @billykeels Twitter: @billykeels LinkedIn: Billy Keels  

Did you know that genetics account for 50% of our happiness? And our life circumstances 10%? That means we have the power to influence the other 40% through our actions and habits.    In this episode, I explore the concept of happiness and how it is perceived differently by individuals. I discuss the relationship between mood and emotions and how they affect our overall well-being. I share some research on happiness, talk about happiness at work. I also share three practical ways to "chase" happiness, including savouring experiences, identifying your character strengths, and expanding your emotional vocabulary through affect labelling.   Resources Mentioned: Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader's Guide To The Real World by Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall VIA Character Strengths Website An Emotional Dictionary: Real Words for How You Feel, from Angst to Zwodder by Susie Dent The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig The Book of Human Emotions: An Encyclopaedia of Feeling from Anger to Wanderlust by Tiffany Watt Smith Asking one simple question can entirely change how you feel, Psyche

How do you see and define yourself? A doctor? An engineer? A real estate investor? How about a doctor-artist? Or an engineer-poet-father? Or a real estate investor-podcaster-husband? We are an amalgamation of various aspects of ourselves that when taken together make up our self-identity. We are more than just one person, and diversifying our identity and embracing our different aspects can help us weather life's challenges and make us stronger.   Dr. Pranay Parikh of Ascent Equity Group joins us in this episode to talk about diversifying our identity, not just our finances or investments. Dr. Pranay believes in pursuing other interests apart from our primary career, as it can lead to personal growth and fulfillment. He reflects on his personal journey from challenges in medical school to finding success in an unexpected area - real estate investing. Dr. Pranay also talks about overcoming mental barriers, his company's efforts to uphold its values and partnerships, and their constant refinement of growth strategies. Listen now and gain a well-rounded perspective on challenges and setbacks and achieving success and fulfillment in both your personal and professional pursuits.   Key Points from This Episode: Dr. Pranay talks about his backstory, his education, and his early career in medicine. How did setbacks in his medical career push Dr. Pranay to pursue real estate investing? Dr. Pranay discusses the types of diversification in a person's life and why they are crucial to achieving success in one's career, business, or life in general. How did income or investment diversification allow Dr. Pranay to protect and grow his assets and finances and help him weather economic downturns?  How did diversifying his identity help Dr. Pranay broaden his knowledge and skills, do more, and achieve more? What advice would Dr. Pranay give to his younger self given his past experiences? Dr. Pranay'd advice on being creative in finding ways to add value to your organization as an intrapreneur. The origin story of Ascent Equity Group What strategies and structures did Dr. Pranay's team employ to scale the company's portfolio?  What is Dr. Pranay's outlook for Ascent Equity Group's future plans and growth? What core beliefs have been critical to Dr. Pranay's success? What mental barriers did Pranay have to overcome to achieve high performance in his various endeavors? Dr. Pranay answers the Rare Air Questionnaire.   Tweetables: “Diversify your job, your investments, and your identity.” “There's no cutting corners. We'll do it the hard way as long as it makes life better.” “Inside your company, intrapreneurship is a great way to be successful.” “One of the best skills you can have in life is how to Google things well or how to look up things well.” “We do things that are outside of our comfort zone and we'll choose the one that's best for our tenants and our investors even if it's more work for ourselves.”   Links Mentioned: From MD To Entrepreneur Podcast Ascent Equity Group Dr. Pranay Parikh on LinkedIn Elevate Podcast Episode 102 with Seth Godin Elevate Podcast Episode 156 with Greg McKeown Elevate Podcast Episode 171 with Dr. Vasu Kakarlapudi The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott Invest with CF Capital   About Dr. Pranay Parikh Dr. Pranay Parikh is a medical doctor, serial entrepreneur, online course creator, and podcast host. His unconventional journey to medicine helped him learn the skills to excel in entrepreneurship. He's helped launch a 7-figure online course on passive real estate, buy over $150 million in real estate, and help hundreds of physicians launch their own businesses. He helps doctors invest passively in real estate through the Ascent Equity Group.

Notes:The Verbivore mistakenly calls John Koenig's book The Encyclopedia of Infinite Sorrows. That title is actually The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. MasterClass Episodes Mentioned:- The Importance of Oral Storytelling – LeVar BurtonHere are a few articles and videos we referenced for this conversation:- National Geographic Article “Storytelling and Cultural Traditions”- St. Cloud State University Article “St. Cloud State professors to speak at TEDxStCloud 2022”- Rose and Rex Article “Tell Me A Story: The Importance of Oral Storytelling” by Rebecca SmallbergPrevious Fable and the Verbivore Episodes Referenced:- Episode 156: Flash Fiction Magic Contest WinnersBooks and Films Mentioned:- Rebecca by Daphne de Maurier (Audiobook), Narrated by Anna Massey- Ready Player One by Ernest Cline (Audiobook), Narrated by Wil Wheaton- Roots: The Saga of an American Family by Alex Haley - Wired for Story: The Writer's Guide to Using Brain Science to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence by Lisa Cron- Elements of Fiction Writing: Conflict and Suspense by James Scott Bell- The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig Music from: https://filmmusic.io ‘Friendly day' by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Caity Curtis helps Thomas and Kevin navigate some specific woes, shameful actions, and some sugary alcohol. Submit Segments: https://forms.gle/rfwsaeFFnX5AAFHY8 Check out our DnD show: 'What We Do in the Basement'

In this episode, we go over some episode X fragments I have and play some voicemails. Show Links: Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: https://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/ Direct Sun: https://directsun.bigcartel.com/ Che Webster: https://roleplayrescue.com/ Jason Connerly: https://nerdsrpgvarietycast.carrd.co/ Reach out to me! www.theredcaps.net Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/theredcaps Phone (USA): 385.273.3227 Intro music: Eyes Gone Wrong by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Tags: BX, Classic D&D, Dungeons and Dragons, OSR, OSE, TTRPG, RGP --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theredcaps/message

A long-time visitor, author and illustrator Christopher Noxon moved to Ojai full-time three years and got busy right away with volunteering and sharing his talents. He joined the Ojai Studio Artist as one of the 17 new artists this year. The Tour is free this year and takes place October 8-10. We discuss the great expansion of the tour from 50 to 67 artists, how the group has made a major resurgence in recent years and why it is so important to the community. The author of four books and many feature articles for the New York Times, The New Yorker magazine and Los Angeles Times, he worked in journalism for many years, and was also "domestic first responder," raising his two sons, when his ex-wife's career as a writer, show creator and showrunner, "Weeds" and "Orange is the New Black," took off. As a long-form feature journalist he has broken important stories, such as being the first to report on Mel Gibson's ties to an ultraconservative Catholic sect. Noxon's book, "Good Trouble: Lessons from the Civil Rights Playbook," caused controversy recently, having been banned by conservative school board members in Virginia Beach. We talk about Ojai's changing cultural landscape since the pandemic and the surge of youthful energy, the importance of art to Ojai's identity, and much more. We also talk candidly and with great sincerity about loss, grief and finding your way forward. We did not talk about gesso recipes, the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows or David Milch's posthumous memoir. For more check out Christopher's content-rich website, christophernoxon.com or the Ojai Studio Artists' at ojaistudioartists.org You can also find him on Instagram @ noxonpics

Chapters 248-251 – Being God Is A Big Responsibility The power of friendship is sick! The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is sick! The Buffy Remaster is absolute trash Peter Singer’s Heavy Petting Downsizing For next week — 252-254 252. The Narrator, the Angel, and the Devil 253. Multitudes 254. Nevermore… Continue reading

Are you a visceral reader or a cerebral reader? Do you feel the impact of prose immediately, or do you choose to eat certain words like ice cream? These conversations and more on the latest Radio Book Club! Hosts Shari Zollinger, Jessie Magleby and Alyssa Sherman discuss upcoming events, book reviews as well as audacious and fearless female writers. Tune in! // Reviews & Mentions: // An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us by Ed Yong // Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh // The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig // It Girl by Ruth Ware // Into Every Generation a Slayer Is Born: How Buffy Staked Our Hearts by Evan Ross Katz // Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell // Aubrey-Maturin Series by Patrick O'Brian // The Waves by Virginia Woolf // Jeanette Winterson Books // Thrust by Lidia Yuknavitch // Verge by Lidia Yuknavitch // Cult Classic by Sloane Crosley // Piranesi by Susanna Clarke // Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher // The School For Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan // The Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky // American by Jess McCue // Music in today's episode is ‘Sailing Away' by Holizna CC

Have you ever felt a certain way, but you just couldn't explain exactly what you were feeling? Human emotion is an extremely complex thing, and “happy” or “sad” or “mad” just don't do it justice. But even the most complicated and indescribable emotions have names! Now, you won't find any of the following words in a dictionary. Well, actually, you can, but only in one: The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. This is an entirely online dictionary created by writer John Koenig. In it, he describes and gives names to an array of human emotion that we haven't yet put to words. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We had the pleasure of interviewing The Wrecks over Zoom video.The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig which defines made up words for indescribable emotions classifies the neologism “sonder” as the “profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one's own." The Wreck's vocalist/producer Nick Anderson landed on "Sonder" as the title of their sophomore album, which is out now via Big Noise Music Group.The band's most recent singles, the sparkling post-breakup anthem “Lone Survivor” and liberating alt-rock track “I Love This Part,” showcase that they've fully honed-in on and embraced their characteristic genre bending alt-rock, as well as having evolved and matured their sounds for this triumphal venture of a second album. Anderson says that experimenting with minor keys and calculated lyrics.On Sonder, there's not only their distinctive witty, frantic genre-bending tracks (“Sonder,” “Don't Be Scared,” “Unholy,” “Ugly Side”), but also their take on mesmerizing alt-rock love/loss ballads (“Where Are You Now?,” “Dystopia,” “Unrequited,” “No Place I'd Rather Be,” “Normal”).Sonder follows the release of the band's 2016 debut EP We Are The Wrecks (their first single “Favorite Liar” currently has 36 million+ streams on Spotify), their 2018 Panic Vertigo EP, their 2020 Static EP as well as their 2020 debut LP Infinitely Ordinary (58 million+ streams on Spotify). The Wrecks continue to rack up the massive fan base that has already given their top five singles on Spotify over 80 million listens. Poised for a wide-open road ahead of them, Nick Anderson and The Wrecks continue to charge into the limelight. Not too shabby for a kid from Wellsville, just two hours south of nowhere. The Wrecks begun as vocalist/producer Nick Anderson's sole endeavor and has since been rounded out by Aaron Kelley (bass), Nick “Schmizz” Schmidt (guitar) and Billy Nally (drums). The Wrecks also collaborated on a select number of tracks off Sonder with producers Westen Weiss (Meek Mill, Camila Cabello, Post Malone) and Dillon Deskin (Flo Rida, Will Sparks, Different Heaven, Myrne) to expand their sound.We want to hear from you! Please email Tera@BringinitBackwards.com.www.BringinitBackwards.com#podcast #interview #bringinbackpod #TheWrecks #Sonder #WeAreTheWrecks #NewMusic #zoom Listen & Subscribe to BiB https://www.bringinitbackwards.com/follow/ Follow our podcast on Instagram and Twitter! https://www.facebook.com/groups/bringinbackpod

Abby and Kellee explore making mistakes in the therapy room, and the shame that becomes very alive and present for therapists. They share their own stories of mistakes with clients, the shame they felt, and ways they have learned to regulated through these moments. They also include an audio clip from a professor at a local university who shares his own mistake as an intern therapist and the shame that followed. Abby and Kellee use an IPNB lens to offer compassion to themselves and all therapists regarding the responses to clients that turn into mistakes. Topics Touched on:Bonnie Badenoch: https://www.nurturingtheheart.comTimothy Wienecke: https://empoweredchangece.com/contact-me/The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: https://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-Obscure-Sorrows-John-Koenig/dp/1501153641Practicing Mindfulness: https://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Mindfulness-Essential-Meditations-Everyday/dp/1641521716Richard Powers: http://www.richardpowers.net Follow us: https://www.instagram.com/the_whole_therapist/https://www.facebook.com/TWTPodcasters/Visit our website:https://wholetherapistinstitute.com Email us: wholetherapistinstitute@gmail.com 

Annika Socolofsky is a composer and avant folk vocalist who explores corners and colors of the voice frequently deemed to be "untrained" and not "classical." Described as “unbearably moving” (Gramophone) and “just the right balance between edgy precision and freewheeling exuberance” (The Guardian), her music erupts from the embodied power of the human voice and is communicated through mediums ranging from orchestral and operatic works to unaccompanied folk ballads and unapologetically joyous Dolly Parton covers. MUSIC Shy One, Sweet One - Performed by Annika Socolofsky and Latitude Forty-Nine I Tell You Me - Performed by ~Nois and Annika Socolofsky The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: silience - Performed by the Zöllner-Roche Duo Turadh - Performed by Parhelion Ensemble and Annika Socolofsky

"Unseen yet always there Hidden by ignorance and fear The fragility of our reality Realization spells the beginning, not the end Nurture holds the key to transcend Into a regenerative process" - Trøm Borg Netherlands-based Trøm Borg has had an impressively busy 2022 so far, releasing several tracks, mixes and now an EP, in the first four months of the year. With tracks coming out on Obscure Sorrows, and Ancestral Process, in addition to running the Amsterdam-based Retur party, which focuses on deeper organic and tribal techno sounds, Trøm Borg's resume speaks for itself. Today we are proud to premiere “Regenerative Process”, the title track off of Trøm Borg's latest EP, coming out on Dutch label Profundo Collective later this week. “Regenerative Process” starts out with a pad immediately followed up with a repetitive glitch that gradually fades from the center of the track as the kick, bassline, synth pad and all enter. A tribal percussion is sustained throughout the track, taking its chance to shine alongside the pad during the track's break, around the 4-minute mark. The kick then makes a full-fledged return, before the track slowly descends into the outro. The four-track “Regenerative Process” EP comes out on Profundo Collective on April 29, 2022. write up by https://soundcloud.com/sabro96 @tromborg @profundocollective Trøm Borg on Bandcamp: tromborgmusic.bandcamp.com Profundo Collective on Bandcamp: profundo.bandcamp.com Profundo Collective on Instagram: www.instagram.com/profundocollective www.itsdelayed.com www.instagram.com/_itsdelayed_ www.facebook.com/itsdelayed https://t.me/itsdelayed

Notes:The Verbivore references a Ted Talk video by poet Pages Matam. That video is titled “Pages Matam | Looking for Your Voice? A Poetry Slam Champ Shows You How | TEDxZumbroRiver.”Here are some of the Slam Poetry videos we touch on:Pages Matam, Elizabeth Acevedo & G. Yamazawa – “Unforgettable” Elizabeth Acevedo - "Afro-Latina"Darius Simpson & Scout Bostley - “Lost Voices” Grand Slam Poetry Champion | Harry Baker | TEDxExeter Fable talks about poet Anis Mojgani's spoken word poetry performances. His most recent Ted Talk is titled “The music of growing up down south | Anis Mojgani | TEDxEmory.”The Verbivore talks about Nikita Gil's fairytale and Greek goddess retellings. She performs two of them in a Ted Talk video titled “Why I'd rather be the Wicked Witch than Snow White | Nikita Gill | TEDxLondonWomen.” Her poetry is also shared on Instagram @nikita_gillThe Verbivore discusses Morgan Harper Nichols' poetry, art, and spoken word performance. Her poetry and art are also shared on Instagram @morganharpernichols. Fable reads two of Rainer Maria Rilke's poems from The Book of Hours. They are as follows:I love you, gentlest of Wayswho ripened us as we wrestled with you.You, the great homesickness we could never shakeoff,you, the forest that always surrounded us,you, the song we sang in every silence, you dark net threading through us,on the day you made us you created yourself,and we grew sturdy in your sunlight…Let your hand rest on the rim of Heaven nowAnd mutely bear the darkness we bring over youI am, you anxious one.Don't you sense me, ready to breakinto being at your touch?My murmurings surround you like shadowy wings.Can't you see me standing before youcloaked in stillness?Hasn't my longing ripened in youfrom the beginningas fruit ripens on a branch?I am the dream you are dreaming.When you want to awaken, I am waiting.I grow strong in the beauty you behold.And with the silence of stars I enfoldyour cities made by time.The Verbivore references a Ted Talk video by Amanda Gorman. That video is titled “Amanda Gorman: Using your voice is a political choice | TED.” She is on Instagram @amandascgorman. The spoken word poem performance we reference can be found here: Amanda Gorman's “Earthrise”We referenced several of our previous episodes as part of our conversation. Here are those episodes:Episode 22: Imitation as a way to find your voiceEpisode 134: Poetry OverviewMasterclasses Mentioned:Billy Collins Teaches Reading and Writing PoetryBooks & Movies Mentioned:The Poet X by Elizabeth AcevedoWild Embers: Poems of Rebellion Fire and Beauty by Nikita Gil The Complete Poems: Anne Sexton Transformations by Anne SextonTo Bedlam and Part Way Back by Anne Sexton The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John KoenigHow to Fly (In Ten Thousand Easy Lessons) by Barbara KingsolverAnimal Dreams by Barbara KingsolverThe Poems of Emily Dickinson: Reading Edition by Emily DickinsonAllegiant by Veronica RothAll Along You Were Blooming: Thoughts for Boundless Living by Morgan Harper NicholsRilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God by Rainer Maria RilkeLetters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke Call Us What We Carry: Poems by Amanda GormanMusic from: https://filmmusic.io 'Friendly day' by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

We have a little bit of this and that tonight. Unavoidably definitive moments are coming our way when it comes to Ukraine v Russia, and TikTok bimbos are paid to push more propaganda for ineffectual Western governments. Then we have stories of children who sell their parents out to the FBI make me wonder how unconditional love we have for our children really is. In the second half, a mix of calls, and some reading from the Book of Obscure Sorrows, but who knows what else is added into the the mix from now until then. Support Our Proud Sponsors: Blue Monster Prep: An Online Superstore for Emergency Preparedness Gear (Storable Food, Water, Filters, Radios, MEDICAL SUPPLIES, and so much more). Use code 'FRANKLY' for Free Shipping on every purchase you make @ https://bluemonsterprep.com/ Secret Nature CBD: 100% organic CBD rich cannabis flower bred so low in THC that they are legally certified as hemp and can be shipped nationwide. High-CBD, low-THC means all the benefits of full spectrum cannabinoids and terpenes without the high, or negative effects like anxiety and paranoia. Pre-rolls, Oils, Tinctures, and more - Promo Code 'FRANKLY' at SecretNatureCBD.com for 20% OFF SUPPORT the Show and New Media: Sponsor through QFTV: https://www.quitefrankly.tv/sponsor SubscribeStar: https://www.subscribestar.com/quitefrankly One-Time Gift: http://www.paypal.me/QuiteFranklyLive Official QF Merch: https://bit.ly/3tOgRsV Sign up for the Free Mailing List: https://bit.ly/3frUdOj Send Crypto: BTC: 1EafWUDPHY6y6HQNBjZ4kLWzQJFnE5k9PK LTC: LRs6my7scMxpTD5j7i8WkgBgxpbjXABYXX ETH: 0x80cd26f708815003F11Bd99310a47069320641fC FULL Episodes On Demand: Spotify: https://spoti.fi/301gcES iTunes: http://apple.co/2dMURMq Amazon: https://amzn.to/3afgEXZ SoundCloud: http://bit.ly/2dTMD13 Google Play: https://bit.ly/2SMi1SF Stitcher: https://bit.ly/2tI5THI BitChute: https://bit.ly/2vNSMFq Rumble: https://bit.ly/31h2HUg Watch Live On: QuiteFrankly.tv (Powered by Foxhole) DLive: https://bit.ly/2In9ipw Rokfin: https://bit.ly/3rjrh4q Twitch: https://bit.ly/2TGAeB6 YouTube: https://bit.ly/2exPzj4 CloutHub: https://bit.ly/37uzr0o Theta: https://bit.ly/3v62oIw Rumble: https://bit.ly/31h2HUg How Else to Find Us: Official WebSite: http://www.QuiteFrankly.tv Official Telegram: https://t.me/quitefranklytv DISCORD Hangout: https://bit.ly/2FpkS11 QF Subreddit: https://bit.ly/2HdvzEC Twitter: @PoliticalOrgy Gab: @QuiteFrankly

In this year's third episode of Behind the Column, Managing Editors Toby Barrett and Peter Orsak explore the ins and outs of five columns from the December edition of The ReMarker. First, Toby explains to Peter why he decided to go vegetarian for two weeks and what he learned from the experience (1:20). Then, Issues Editor Myles Lowenberg analyzes the political atmosphere around school board elections with Toby (15:40). Next, Issues Editor Keshav Krishna describes a long day on the hills of Oklahoma with his dad to Peter (25:00). Editor-in-Chief Austin Williams talks with Peter about The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, an attempt to fill in holes in the English language with the coining of new words (33:35). Finally, Focus Editor Morgan Chow discusses the importance of seeing Asian representation, and representation from all races, in media with Toby (44:30). Hosted by Managing Editors Peter Orsak and Toby Barrett.

Jessika Gedin: Ord och känsla. Calle Norlén: Ett jävla tävlande. Sissela Kyle: Ingen fara. Inled helgen i Spanarnas sällskap. I veckans panel hör vi kulturjournalisten Jessika Gedin, manusförfattaren Calle Norlén & skådespelaren Sissela Kyle. Programledare och ciceron är Ingvar Storm. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. Spanarna - samhällsspaning med humorSpanarna är ett program och en podd för dig som gillar samhällsspaning med humor. Tre skarpsynta personligheter försöker avläsa trender i vår vardag och ge oss sina framtidsvisioner. Ingen vecka är den andra lik och ingen vet vad spaningarna ska handla om utan spanarna själva. Inte ens programledaren Ingvar Storm har en aning om vart det bär av. Häng med!Veckans panel och spaningar:Jessika Gedin: Ord och känslaCalle Norlén: Ett jävla tävlande.Sissela Kyle: Ingen fara.ReferenserLeucocholyJessika Gedin refererade i sin spaning till ett ord som många hört av sig och velat veta mer om nämligen "leucocholy" som beskriver känslan av att göra meningslösa saker. Här kan du läsa mer om leucocholy.Vi fick också höra om The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows som är en webbplats och You tube-kanal, skapad av John Koenig, som myntar och definierar neologismer för känslor som inte har en beskrivande term.Här kan du läsa mer om The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.Spanarnas officiella sida på FacebookLärde du dig något nytt? Kände du igen dig? Eller är du rent utav bara lite nyfiken på vad andra lyssnare tyckte om senaste programmet? På Spanarnas officiella sida på Facebook kan du diskutera med andra spanarlyssnare.Övriga frågor? Varmt välkommen att skriva ett mejl till oss på adressen nedan.spanarna@sverigesradio.seHär kan du lyssna på samtliga spaningar i vårt arkiv!

You probably know when you’re feeling happy, sad, or angry. But our range of emotions stretch beyond the language we have for them. This hour, we learn about what emotions are, and give names to ones you’ve probably felt, but never knew what to call. GUESTS: Edgar Gerrard Hughes - Researcher at London's Queen Mary Centre for the History of the Emotions and editor of “The Book of Emotions” John Koenig - Author of “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows” Support the show: http://www.wnpr.org/donateSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Late one night when he couldn't sleep, John Koenig wrote up a definition that hadn't existed before. It was the word SONDER.It's the awareness that everyone around you is the main character of their own story and he posted this word on his website for the book he hoped to write one day. That book became The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. The word Sonder became the most famous entry in the dictionary and Koenig still gets emails from readers thanking him for giving voice to something they've felt their whole life. It surprised him how universal a feeling that came from inside him could be...a feeling that he only felt in glimmers of solitude. How do we give a name to something internal, an emotion? What's in a name that everyone can recognize but all of us know it in different ways? Is there a better name than just calling it loneliness? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A conversation with Brian Ore. We discuss live music, art, honesty, the difficulty of conveying your emotions to other people, the ethics of taboo subjects, and many other things. In order, we talk about: live music vs recorded music, Taylor Swift's re-recordings, Summerfest and going on tour, how people and different generations connect to different music, how new slang comes about, why things become popular and conforming your thoughts and opinions to society, what we get out of movies and art in general, space travel and how long humanity will survive, The Three Body Problem book series (skip to next section to avoid spoilers for the books), is it really a good thing to save lives?, the environmental harm that comes from third world countries developing, over-planning life and where thoughts come from, the difficulty of convincing people to change their aspirations or values, what makes a good leader and taking from the rich, is it better to speak your mind or keep things to yourself? Is it better to be honest or kind?, the exact right thing to say and Wu Wei, receiving compliments and being known, homosexuality and the ethics of incest, how we seem to always tie up love with sex, the ethics of necrophilia and the repression of sex and death, cannibalism, what the word supernatural even means, and whether humans are capable of coming to their own conclusions independently. *At 1:03:20 I say that Bhutan is the happiest country in the world. Bhutan is not the happiest country in the world according to most rankings (though I would dispute the inclusion of GDP per capita as a useful measure of happiness). But Bhutan is the 8th happiest country in the world, and the top non-European one. https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/happiest-countries-in-the-world. They're also not one of the most impoverished, but they are one of the least developed. https://unctad.org/topic/least-developed-countries/list. The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: https://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/theregularpeoplepodcast/support