Podcasts about secret legacy

Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. His book I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the first book ever written on the topic of male depression, is a national bestseller. His new book, Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship is a New York Times bestseller.Sponsors:Cresset prestigious family office for CEOs, founders, and entrepreneurs: https://cressetcapital.com/tim (book a call today)Ramp easy-to-use corporate cards, bill payments, accounting, and more: https://ramp.com/tim (Get $250 when you join Ramp)Wealthfront high-yield cash account: https://Wealthfront.com/Tim (Start earning 4.00% APY on your short-term cash until you're ready to invest. And when new clients open an account today, you can get an extra fifty-dollar bonus with a deposit of five hundred dollars or more.) Terms apply. Tim Ferriss receives cash compensation from Wealthfront Brokerage, LLC for advertising and holds a non-controlling equity interest in the corporate parent of Wealthfront Brokerage. See full disclosures here.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim's email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode: Nate and Aaron talk about experiences at the 2024 Italian Samson Retreat with nuns. Our Guest: Zach Brittle, who is the only Gottman and RLT trained couples therapist in the world. He is also a cohost of Marriage Therapy Radio, a husband, father, teacher, and four years sober, recovering alcoholic. Zach discusses getting married at 23 and being happily married for 24 of the 27 years. He works for the Gottman Institute and tells us the origins of the Gottman method and why it's so effective in therapy. Zach encourages us to be curious about the possibilities for our relationship beyond repairing the issue that brought us to therapy. Also, being curious about what's not being said, and the origins of addiction and shame. He shares the science behind successful marriage repair. He leaves us with many hopeful and positive resources as well. Links:   Zach Brittle Books: Marriage Therapy Journal By: Zach Brittle The Relationship Alphabet: A Practical Guide to Better connection for Couples: By Zach Brittle Reconnect: A Marriage Counseling Workbook: Guided Conversations and Exercises for Long-Lasting Relationship By: Zach Brittle and Laura Heck Other Books Mentioned: I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression By: Terrence Real Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship By: Terrence Real How Can I get Through to You: Reconnecting Men and Women By: Terrence Real The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work By: John Gottman and Nan Silver Summit: 2025 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

In episode #40, we're diving into the story of the most fearless tribe in American history—the Comanche. Known for their unmatched horsemanship and ruthless warfare, they ruled the Southern Plains with an iron grip, striking terror into anyone who crossed their path. We'll uncover how they became a force that even the U.S. military struggled to contain, explore their legendary raids, and look at pivotal moments like the Sand Creek Massacre and their battles against the Spanish and Apache. But what led to their downfall? 00:00 - Origin Of American Tribes 04:49 - Secret Legacy of Comanche Warriors 13:37 - Advanced Bow Hunting 22:10 - Vengeance 22:31 - Origins of Comanche Nation 24:01 - Spanish vs Apache vs Comanche 28:54 - Tragic San Saba Massacre 31:27 - Historical Revisionism 35:15 - Strange and Unique Tribal Practices 37:34 - Brutal Treatment of Captives 39:23 - Rituals, Beliefs, Comanche Way of Life 49:05 - Texas Declaration of Independence 51:12 - The Infamous Fort Parker Incident 53:58 - Rise of the Texas Rangers 56:50 - Gun That Changed History 1:00:46 - Texas Rangers vs Comanche 1:03:07 - Council House Massacre: Diplomacy Gone Wrong 1:07:02 - Salt Creek Massacre 1:08:09 - Traditional Treatment Procedures 1:08:49 - Eye for an Eye 1:13:52 - Mobility and Mastery of the Plains 1:14:57 - Colonel McKenzie vs Quanah Parker 1:17:45 - Sand Creek Massacre 1:18:57 - Broken Promises 1:20:18 - Gold Rush & Diseases 1:23:17 - Training Comanche Warriors from a Young Age 1:24:22 - The Art of Buffalo Hunting 1:28:09 - Firearms that Revolutionized Warfare 1:29:57 - Spirit Talker: IsaTai 1:32:01 - Decline of the Comanche 1:34:26 - Catching Wild Horses 1:35:24 - Cynthia Ann Parker: A Captive's Legacy 1:37:15 - Fake Promises: Treaties & Reservations

Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 652 Why facing your fear straight on is the only way out of it? Dr. John Delony, joins Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 652, to share the principles of living a non-anxious life, why winning won't make you well, how men can escape the hustle and grind lifestyle and lead with an open heart instead, and why there's power in vulnerability. "Fear is just an internal alarm system that your body sets off. And so when we give it more power and credence, when we stamp that label on our souls, it begins to dictate all of our actions." - Dr. John Delony

In this episode, I chat with Chris Steib, owner of Transom Bookshop in Tarrytown, New York. Chris takes us on his career journey from a literature student to a high school English teacher, transitioning into the corporate world as a speechwriter and tech entrepreneur, and finally realizing his dream of opening an indie bookshop. Chris shares how he leveraged technology to create unique experiences for book lovers, including a literary magazine and an iPhone app for writers, and the challenges and rewards of integrating modern digital tools into a traditional bookstore setting.Small, niche bookstores come with their own set of hurdles and triumphs, and Chris is here to shed light on them. Learn the art of hand-picking inventory, fostering relationships with local authors, and the innovative concept of "reverse bookselling." Discover how Chris navigates space and event planning constraints through creative solutions like the guest bookseller initiative. Chris and I delve into the economic aspects of book pricing and understand why buying a full-price book from an indie shop is more than just a purchase—it's a community investment. Chris's story is also a tale of community values and historical charm. With a focus on curiosity, gratitude, creativity, and kindness, Chris has turned Transom Bookshop into a local treasure. Listen as he highlights the rich history and vibrant community of Tarrytown, New York, from its walkable Main Street to the scenic Aqueduct Hiking Trail. Whether you're a local or planning a visit, this episode offers a heartfelt invitation to experience the unique allure of Tarrytown and Sleepy Hollow.Transom Bookshop Users, Colin Winnette Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood, Minna Dubin Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It, Richard V. Reeves Patriarchy Blues: Reflections on Manhood, Frederick Joseph I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, Terrence Real Quickly, While They Still Have Horses: Stories, Jan Carson Total Garbage: How We Can Fix Our Waste and Heal Our World, Edward Humes Blue Skies, T.C.BoyleSupport the Show.The Bookshop PodcastMandy Jackson-BeverlySocial Media Links

Terry teaches the practice of relational mindfulness. He advises us to shift our view of relationship from a zero-sum situation where one person wins and the other loses, one is right and the other is wrong, he gives us examples of how to conduct skillful and effective communication in order to get off the treadmill of repetitive fights with our partners. Terry Real is a family therapist and author. He's the founder of the Relational Life Institute, which offers Relational Life Therapy (RLT) courses online and in-person workshops for couples, individuals, parents, and professionals. He is the author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner 1998), How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Gap Between Men and Women (Simon & Schuster 2002), The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (Ballantine Books 2008), Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Rodale Books 2022) Interview Date: 2/14/2024 Tags: Terry Real, hyper-individualism, toxic individualism, relational mindfulness, Relational Life Therapy, RLT, disharmony, repair, James Framo, marriage, patriarchy, non-binary, false binary, Thomas Hubl, wounded child, brain, interconnectedness, Relationship, Personal Transformation, Psychology

Terry Real is a family therapist and author. He's the founder of the Relational Life Institute, which offers Relational Life Therapy (RLT) courses online and in-person workshops for couples, individuals, parents, and professionals. He is the author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner 1998), How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Gap Between Men and Women (Simon & Schuster 2002), The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (Ballantine Books 2008) and Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Rodale Books 2022)Interview Date: 2/14/2024 Tags: Terry Real, marriage, relationship, James Framo, couples therapy, adaptive child, maladapted child, wise adult, Pia Mellody, self esteem, Relational Life Therapy, RLT, provocative distance taking, responsible distance taking, patriarchy, serenity prayer, personal biosphere, Relationship, Psychology, Personal Transformation

Part of my Jordan Maxwell #bingefest! I see y'all are enjoying this, so stay tuned for more! RIP Jordan Maxwell 2022 #manna from heaven! "Manna" means literally "what is it?"This show proof that leaders of the church purposely mistranslated Hebrew to portray a monotheistic religion of one God, when according to a more accurate translation, there were many gods! So-called gods. Actually as Billy Carson points out they masqueraded as a god to other humans that they genetically manipulated; Maxwell, rip uncle! Jordan Maxwell, a formidable scholar and author whom we will sorely miss, points out that according to a proper translation of the Hebrew, Elohim or fallen Angels whatever you want to call them, turned, transformed, genetically manipulated hominids that existed already on planet Earth, to create humankind. Correct translations of #Genesis also show that long ago, there were cities leveled by this jealous God in the Bible known as #Yahweh; his other names are many including #satan, Lord of Eden! So stop saying #amen and #hallelujah you are praising satan. #christiandems Tucson please get me on the ballot for sheriff: go.azsos.gov/xww9 thank you & pls share this link if you want a sheriff who will respect everyone's civil rights and never ever allow your house and family to be raided like mine was! First person I fire

In this week's episode of "This Changes Everything," Sarah is answering some of your heartfelt questions about love and friendship. struggling with attraction to older men following teenage sexual assault, supporting a partner with depression, rebuilding trust after relationship issues, accepting the end of friendships, and what to do if you feel like you aren't moving on from a breakup fast enough. Keep your questions coming! We love hearing from you. This Changes Everything Voicemail: Record your question by calling ‪(313) 338-8828‬ The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk The Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura Davis I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real How You Can Survive When They're Depressed by Anne Sheffield Daring Greatly by Brené Brown Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond by Lydia Denworth The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown The Wisdom of a Broken Heart by Susan Piver Take the guessing out of eating well and try Daily Harvest. For a limited time only, go to dailyharvest.com/tce to get thirty dollars off your first box plus free shipping. No matter your path, it's time to make a move with Alo Moves. Get a free 30-day Alo Moves subscription by going to alomoves.com and use code TCE. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code TCE at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod DISCLAIMER: This podcast offers information for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a qualified mental health provider for medical or mental health concerns. The host, guests, and network disclaim responsibility for any decisions or actions you make based on information provided by this podcast.

In episode 38 I talked about something important to me: leaving a legacy for my children. But I'm not talking about a financial legacy, which is usually the most popular legacy to leave for your children, but I'm talking about a health legacy. Listen to this episode to hear more about it. Plus we dive deep into the 3 things I do to keep consistent with the fit mom lifestyle.  Keep Smiling, Jena Sign-Up for Postpartum Abs 101: How To Safely Start Postpartum Ab Exercises in Less Than 2 Minutes A Day Learn more about Postpartum Abs Simplified Leave a Review of the show!

The holiday season is upon us shortly in the US. Some men will be surrounded by close ones, and some will finally get the R&R they've been craving, but many may feel alone.Americans have less and less friends. On this episode, Samantha and Remoy talk through some Survey Center on America Life findings on the state of American friendships. There are many men who have absolutely no friends, and that number is steadily increasing. The hosts get some help to understand how this impacts them during the holiday season.Our resident counselor for men, Justin Lioi, is back to talk about having mental ease during the holidays. He stresses that being alone at this time can be a fulfilling choice but it's OK to reach out for attention and support if it's loneliness rather than intentional alone time.Justin helps the hosts understand why reaching out can be difficult for men, how slipping back into old relationship dynamics can make it worse, and how to detect mental distress in the body.COMPANION PIECES:Ya can't pour from an empty cup! How Men Can Take Better Care of ThemselvesIgnoring it won't make it go away! How doing the work leads to men's freedom Special Episode! Getting Free, with Darnell MooreReferenced on this episode:Terrence Real, therapist author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male DepressionPia Mellody, author of Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our LivesBowling Alone by Robert D. Putnam shows how we people in modern societies have become more and more disconnected from each other

Overview: Today, we're going to talk about Sabi, the B2B retail & supply chain services platform. We'll explore the story across the following areas: Africa's and Nigeria's informal retail sector Sabi's early history Product & monetization strategy Competitive positioning & potential exit options Overall Outlook. This episode was recorded on July 23, 2023 Companies discussed: Sabi, Rensource, TradeDepot, Twiga Foods, Wasoko (Sokowatch), Omnibiz, Alerzo, & Marketforce Business concepts discussed: Informal retail penetration, SMB retail OS, B2B Operating systems, Equity carve-outs, Power as a service, Channel margins & Supply chain logistics Conversation highlights: (01:00) - Sabi context (06:30) - Africa and Nigeria informal retail context and background (20:39) - Background on the founders (30:04) - Quick Rensource detour - overview and background (37:05) - Background on Sabi founding (47:52) - Fundraising (56:40) - Geographic expansion, partnerships and metrics, and growth (1:10:15) - Product Strategy (1:21:17) - How Sabi makes money (1:32:06) - Competition and options for exit (1:46:16) - Bankole's overall thoughts and outlook (1:55:59) - Olumide's overall thoughts and outlook (2:07:49) - Recommendations and small wins Olumide's recommendations & small wins: Interested in investing in Africa Tech with Olumide: Read about Adamantium fund & contact me at olumide@afrobility.com. Founders looking for funding: If you're a B2B founder working on Education, Health, Finance or food, please contact me for funding at olumide@afrobility.com Checkout my FIREDOM book = FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) + Freedom = personal finance and financial independence book. Website, Read: Substack Newsletter & Buy: Print, eBook or Audiobook) Recommendation: Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity (book by Peter Attia) Recommendation: I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (book by Terrence Real) Small win: Organized House party with friends yesterday, it was fun. Small win: Got a new backpack for future travelling, very nice. Bankole's recommendations & small wins: Recommendation: Invest Like The Best with the co-founder of FIGS & Spiderman Song - Nigerian Remix Small win: New keycaps!!! Other content: How Equifax became a private IRS, Mission.org podcast episode with CEO Sabi  & Norrsken22-Backed Nigerian Startup Plans $125 Million Round Listeners: We'd love to hear from you. Email info@afrobility.com with feedback! Founders & Operators: We'd love to hear about what you're working on, email us at info@afrobility.com Investors: It would be great to link up with you. Contact us at info@afrobility.com Join our substack mailing list where we get feedback on new episodes & find all episodes on Afrobility.com

This week we're taking a little road trip to Witwickey, PA to check in on the premier of the newest Transformers series, Earthspark! When siblings Robby and Mo Malto find a strange glowing stone, they accidentally trigger the creation of the first Earth-born Transformers! Can they learn to fit in with a human family? How nice is it to have real voice acting again? And which of us "accidentally" binged the whole series already, and can they avoid spoiling? Join us this week for the Earthspark two-part premier, "Secret Legacy"!

We review the first two episodes of Transformers Earthspark. Are the next generation of Transformers and humans ready for Prime Time? Listen and find out! All this and much, much more on this episode of TransMissions Alt Mode! Order our TransMissions Exclusive Cover Variant of IDW’s Transformers Till All Are One #1! Want some TransMissions swag? Check out our online shop, powered by TeePublic! Like what we’re doing and want to help make our podcast even better? If you already support us, thank you! Show Notes: Show Start [00:00] Intro [00:46] Welcome Guest Host awesome artist Apollo – Check out her work on Instagram! Welcome Guest Host Editor Mike – Check out his photography on Instagram! Check out the Donatreon exclusive early bonus uncut episode of Empire Of Rust Episode 89 – Stickers Not Included that just came out on Monday, November 14th! And check out the Extra Special EoR episode… Continue reading The post Alt Mode 312 – The Spark Awakens (EarthSpark Secret Legacy Review) appeared first on TransMissions Podcast Network.

We review the first two episodes of Transformers Earthspark. Are the next generation of Transformers and humans ready for Prime Time? Listen and find out! All this and much, much more on this episode of TransMissions Alt Mode! Order our TransMissions Exclusive Cover Variant of IDW’s Transformers Till All Are One #1! Want some TransMissions swag? Check out our online shop, powered by TeePublic! Like what we’re doing and want to help make our podcast even better? If you already support us, thank you! Show Notes: Show Start [00:00] Intro [00:46] Welcome Guest Host awesome artist Apollo – Check out her work on Instagram! Welcome Guest Host Editor Mike – Check out his photography on Instagram! Check out the Donatreon exclusive early bonus uncut episode of Empire Of Rust Episode 89 – Stickers Not Included that just came out on Monday, November 14th! And check out the Extra Special EoR episode… Continue reading The post Alt Mode 312 – The Spark Awakens (EarthSpark Secret Legacy Review) appeared first on TransMissions Podcast Network.

What are the keys to a successful marriage?  A lot of things change when you retire. Will your marriage evolve and become even stronger? Ana Gabriel Mann and her husband John David Mann have written a book The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story About the Five Secrets to Lasting Love with valuable and practical tips on the practices of a successful marriage. Ana Gabriel Mann joins us from Massachusetts. Comments or Questions You'd Like Me to Address on the Podcast? Leave a Voice Message Here ___________________________ Bio Ana Gabriel Mann holds a Master's degree in clinical psychology and dance-movement therapy from Antioch New England, where she specialized in working with adults and family therapy. In addition to her work in family therapy and 5 Secrets marriage coaching, she has served as clinical director for a support program for families caring for loved ones with Alzheimer's disease, co-founded New England's first college of Chinese medicine, and worked as a corporate consultant, speaker, trainer, and business coach. She is the creator and lead facilitator of the Go-Giver Marriage Coaches training program. John David Mann and Ana Gabriel Mann have been dreaming about cowriting The Go-Giver Marriage and bringing its message to the world ever since the first draft of John and Bob's original book, The Go-Giver, came sliding out of his desktop printer in early 2005. ____________________________ For More on Ana Gabriel Mann and The Go-Giver Marriage The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story About the Five Secrets to Lasting Love The Go-Giver Marriage Coaches Program John David and Ana Gabriel Mann's Go-Giver Marriage Coaches training and certification program will train you in the art of coaching and mentoring individuals who want to improve their marriage. Programs will commence in the fall of 2022. To be notified when details become available, email programs@gogivermarriage.com _____________________________ Podcast Episodes You May Like The Emotional Side of Retiring – Kate Schroeder The Second Curve of Life – Arthur C. Brooks The Power of Fun – Catherine Price Retire Happy – Dr. Catherine Sanderson ______________________________ Mentioned in This Podcast Episode Terrence Real - I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression The Gottman Institute - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse _______________________________ What readers are saying about Win The Retirement Game "...amazingly readable, and chock full of insights. " "Definitely the best book I've read on the non-financial aspects of retirement." "The storytelling format makes it fun to read, and the lessons woven into the story are backed up by tons of references." "The storyline of the book is engaging and also actionable, a rare find." Amazon    Barnes & Noble    Bookshop.org Thank you for making the book a #1 Amazon Best Seller in two categories. ____________________________________ Wise Quotes On Mindsets "Mindsets are everything, because here's one of the things that happens in every relationship. You meet and you're in this kiss of romance. It's really amazing. You think I have found my soul mate. But the truth is you're all bringing your history. She is bringing her history. You are bringing your history and whatever that history was from your initial family will start to seep into the relationship. And, some people call it after the honeymoon's over, but it really is the day-to-day. Who are you as a person? And how do you relate in the relationship? Did you have a critical parent? And now you've become a critical partner. Are you a critical parent yourself? It's always that history is reflecting in our relationships. So mindset's incredibly important and intentionality is incredibly important. I tell people often in my coaching practice, you have to decide: who do you want to be in this relationship?" On Learning and Growing

I've been fairly candid about my own, ongoing work with counselors, historically, and today. My current counselor really got deep with me into my relationship with myself and recommended a book called “​​I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression,” by a therapist named Terry Real. I got it and read it and it opened up a whole new level of understanding myself. Terry just recently put out a book called US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. My therapist got it and right away said, “Kevin, I want you to get this book.” I did. It revealed aspects of how I behave unhealthfully in relationships that are nothing less than revolutionary for my life. As an individual, spouse, parent, and more. And bigger picture, how we culturally live as “you and me” and individuals when the bedrock of our being is relational and us. It will either wow you as it did me, or you'll have to fully dismiss it. And I don't think you will. I then went to find out who this guy is and found this book US was was published by Goop press, which is founded and owned by famed actress and client of Terry's, Gwynyth Paltrow. Same with actor Bradley Cooper who emphatically endorses Terry. But then people like famed psychotherapists Esther Perel and Lori Gottliev I find are touting Terry and this book us. And interestingly, the forward is from one of Terry's patients. The forward alone rocked my world. It's by a singer you may have heard of. Bruce Springsteen. But it's not the celebrity component that impresses me, it's the humble and heartfelt words they shared about their life changes. Bruce said, “At age thirty two I hit an emotional wall and realized I was lost in a deep dark forest, largely of my own making without a map. So began forty years of trying to find my way through the shadowed trees, down to the river of a sustaining life. Terry Real has been a guide and this book is a map through those trees. I agree. I wanted to share Terry with you, so this episode is part one of my discussion with him. Find him at terryreal.com. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Something your partner did cause you pain and frustration. You want to tell them what hurt you, but you seem to always end up in a fight when you bring it up. Sound familiar? In this episode, I get into the specifics of how you can deliver feedback about something your partner did and what you'd like them to do differently in a way that actually gets results. Every single couple has to have these conversations, but you can develop skills that can reduce the negative fallout and even bring you closer.As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about:What NOT to do in an emotionally-charged conversationThe steps you can use every time to have conversations that help you feel closerHow to remember the point of these conversations when you're in the middle of it Reducing the amount of residual pain that comes from messy conversationsWhy and how to take ownership of your feelings in a conversationAnd more. “That's a big part of what relationships can do for us. They give us a safe place to work out old feelings”-Michele Lisenbury Christensen E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.Hot Moments in This Episode:Why you shouldn't “air your grievances” (3:57)How a laminated checklist helped my relationship (9:41)Why you might set a time limit on your conversations (11:08)The “cheap booby prize” you may be taking instead of satifaction (15:02) I hope that today's podcast can help you have conversations in a more productive way and feel like your pains are actually doorways to more closeness, deeper intimacy and more joy together.  And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Related episodes of Sex.Love.Power:Defensiveness episodePoorly Timed Conversations episodeThe 5 Winning Relationship Strategies episodeThe 5 Losing Relationship Strategies episodeTerry Real's books:The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love WorkI Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male DepressionHow Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and WomenUs: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving RelationshipThe Settling Down Together ChecklistIf the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. 

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://forthenovellovers.wordpress.com/2020/09/08/secret-legacy-the-windhaven-witches-1-by-carissa-andrews/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

As bestselling author Terrence Real says, if the person who cheated on you is willing to get real and do the work, you're a fool to leave. But if they are unwilling to take accountability and change, then you're a fool to stay. Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there's also not much that's more important. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools.  In his transformative new book, “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship” bestselling author Terrence Real brilliantly observes how our individualistic, winner-takes-all culture infiltrates affair recovery with devastating results Top Take-A-Ways: Avoiding “The 5-Losing Strategies” of Relationship Recovery: Proving you are right Controlling your partner Unbridled self-expression Retaliation Withdrawal How to trade in a “power and control” model of relating for a “relational model” so you can cultivate calm when triggered, remember love, and speak, act, and behave in ways that make relationships better – even when you've been betrayed. Understanding and maintaining the “biosphere” of your relationship, so both partners can win, thrive, and transform despite difficulty Working with the partner you have, and not the partner that you deserve in order to create the relationship you want Terrence Real is the bestselling author of “I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression” and “How Can I Get Through to You?: Reconnecting Men and Women.” He has been a practicing family therapist for more than twenty years and has lectured and given workshops across the country. In March 2002, he founded the Relational Empowerment Institute. His work has been featured on NBC Nightly News, Today, Good Morning America, and Oprah, as well as in The New York Times, Psychology Today, Esquire, and numerous academic publications. His latest book is “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship,” and for any of us, but especially for any of us in the betrayal recovery space, this book is huge! Could it be time to stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple? At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real explains how – while self-reflection and working on yourself is indeed essential – too much poisons intimate relationships. With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that's based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness. “This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop “Us” is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist's flair, Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the culture that reinforces our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” With Us, your true relationship can begin. Learn more about Terry Real at: https://terryreal.com/ and buy a copy of his latest book Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship anywhere books are sold (or on his website!) Lora Cheadle is an infidelity survivor who uses the concepts in burlesque to help women reclaim their identity and self-worth after betrayal so they can move forward with confidence, embrace their sexy, and create a life they love! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and start reclaiming yourself and your life today! Spring Sale! One-on-one affair recovery coaching for women who have been cheated on by their intimate partner who are committed to: Overcoming the devastation, pain, and obsessive thoughts and reclaiming peace, Rebuilding trust in themselves, their intuition, and the world, Making sense of their story regardless of their partner's participation, Reconciling the life they have now with the life they thought they'd have, Moving on with confidence and clarity – whether they are working things out with their partner or moving on alone, and Bringing themselves back to life again, stronger and happier than before! Only $333 per month for one 90-minute session per month, a monthly, 30-minute self-hypnosis to use between sessions, weekly prep work to augment your healing, and real-time Voxer support. Lora@loracheadle for more information or to apply. Learn More & Apply Here! www.AffairRecoveryForWomen.com   Untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and own your worth so you can create a future you love on your own terms. All with a wink and a smile!

Save Your Marriage After an Affair - Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship – with Terrence Real As bestselling author Terrence Real says, if the person who cheated on you is willing to get real and do the work, you're a fool to leave. But if they are unwilling to take accountability and change, then you're a fool to stay. Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there's also not much that's more important. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools.  In his transformative new book, “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship” bestselling author Terrence Real brilliantly observes how our individualistic, winner-takes-all culture infiltrates affair recovery with devastating results Top Take-A-Ways: Avoiding “The 5-Losing Strategies” of Relationship Recovery: Proving you are right Controlling your partner Unbridled self-expression Retaliation Withdrawal How to trade in a “power and control” model of relating for a “relational model” so you can cultivate calm when triggered, remember love, and speak, act, and behave in ways that make relationships better – even when you've been betrayed. Understanding and maintaining the “biosphere” of your relationship, so both partners can win, thrive, and transform despite difficulty Working with the partner you have, and not the partner that you deserve in order to create the relationship you want Terrence Real is the bestselling author of “I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression” and “How Can I Get Through to You?: Reconnecting Men and Women.” He has been a practicing family therapist for more than twenty years and has lectured and given workshops across the country. In March 2002, he founded the Relational Empowerment Institute. His work has been featured on NBC Nightly News, Today, Good Morning America, and Oprah, as well as in The New York Times, Psychology Today, Esquire, and numerous academic publications. His latest book is “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship,” and for any of us, but especially for any of us in the betrayal recovery space, this book is huge! Could it be time to stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple? At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real explains how – while self-reflection and working on yourself is indeed essential – too much poisons intimate relationships. With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that's based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness.  “This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop “Us” is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist's flair, Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the culture that reinforces our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” With Us, your true relationship can begin. Learn more about Terry Real at: https://terryreal.com/ and buy a copy of his latest book Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship anywhere books are sold (or on his website!) Lora Cheadle is an infidelity survivor who uses the concepts in burlesque to help women reclaim their identity and self-worth after betrayal so they can move forward with confidence, embrace their sexy, and create a life they love! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and start reclaiming yourself and your life today! Spring Sale! One-on-one affair recovery coaching for women who have been cheated on by their intimate partner who are committed to: Overcoming the devastation, pain, and obsessive thoughts and reclaiming peace, Rebuilding trust in themselves, their intuition, and the world, Making sense of their story regardless of their partner's participation, Reconciling the life they have now with the life they thoughtthey'd have, Moving on with confidence and clarity – whether they are working things out with their partner or moving on alone, and Bringing themselves back to life again, stronger and happier than before! Only $333 per month for one 90-minute session per month, a monthly, 30-minute self-hypnosis to use between sessions, weekly prep work to augment your healing, and real-time Voxer support. Lora@loracheadle for more information or to apply. Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! 

It's amazing how couples can function as two distinct individuals in a relationship. Maintaining your own identity while encouraging your partner's interests and personal goals is gold. On the other hand, individual independence can be toxic too. It can make you feel like you're competing with your spouse, getting into a power struggle, and everything else that comes from these two individual perspectives. In this episode, Terry Real encourages us to consider the consequences of approaching a relationship from a toxic individualism perspective and how critical it is to shift to a relational mindset as he shares some actionable steps from his new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents, along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 9:18 The inspiration behind the book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. 12:42 What is toxic individualism and how does it affect relationships? 20:14 How to make the transition from automatic response to conscious communication? 23:52 How to empower your relationship. 46:00 Key takeaways. Mentioned Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Connect with Terry Real Websites: terryreal.com — relationallife.com Facebook: facebook.com/TerryRealRLI YouTube: youtube.com/user/TerryRealRLI/feed Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Themes: Relationships, Conflict, Patriarchy, Individualism, Sexuality, Masculinity Summary: Today I'm honoured to welcome Terry Real back on the podcast. An internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author, and the founder of the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Real has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists to help people create the connection they desire in relationships. His groundbreaking, bestselling book, I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, established him as one of the most respected voices in the treatment of men and male depression and his expertise on men's mental health and relationship issues have been featured on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, The Oprah Winfrey Show and in The New York Times, among many others. In his practice, Real works with couples on the brink of disaster; he sees how individualism and patriarchy poisons our most intimate relationships. The excellent news: warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In Terry's new book, US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, he shows people how to stop working on themselves as individuals and start working on their relationship as a couple.   Discover: How to move beyond your traumas and stressors and shift from thinking in terms of me and you to a different consciousness - the consciousness of us How patriarchy poisons our intimate relationships What's happening in your body when you're activated in conflict — plus scripts to help you move beyond your knee-jerk reactions and into your wiser, more collaborative self What's really behind defensiveness How men are programmed to squash what is most needed in their intimate relationships: vulnerability   Links: Check out Terry's first episode on the Mark Groves Podcast: The End of Women Caretaking Men terryreal.com US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship   Sponsors: Cured Nutrition | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% all products at curednutrition.com/createthelove Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at organifi.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“I talk about dysfunctional relational stances that would repeat over and over again. For example, angry pursuit is an oxymoron. Angry pursuit will never get complaining about how the person isn't close to. You will never get then closer to you. It is dysfunctional. That's what dysfunctional means. It doesn't work. It'll never get you what you want. And the first phase of the therapy that we do, relational life therapy. And in some ways, the first phase of this book is identifying what your repetitive, adaptive child. Relational stance is the thing you do over and over and over again, automatically knee jerk. I talk about whoosh comes up like a wave. I just gotta do this. I've gotta fix this person. I've gotta stand enough for myself. I gotta get outta here. And that is the hallmark of your adoptive child that is automatic and, and compulsive. And this whole book is about moving beyond that part of you into the wise adult part of you, that can take a breath and do something, not automatic, but chosen deliberate, more skillful,” says bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terry Real. His new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, combines new findings in neuroscience and his vast experience working with couples on the brink of disaster to give readers the skills necessary to move their relationship from a dysfunctional you vs. me into a more collaborative “us”.  There is no such thing as working on a relationship, Terry tells us, in order to work on healing the system, we must heal the individual parts. So many of us, he says, grew up without adequate emotional support, and the techniques we developed to survive in those environments as children, can go on to poison our intimate relationships. Though we may not remember the trauma, our knee-jerk reactions to distressing situations and relational conflict push our learned adaptive strategies into overdrive.   Terry's science-backed toolkit helps individuals move beyond their involuntary response, which tends to be rigid, harsh, and unforgiving; and come into their potential as a wise adult - one who stops, thinks, and reflects; able to tap into a more collaborative self for the betterment of the relationship. Through deep individual work, nurturing our inner child, and choosing to go against our impulses rather than indulging them; we can transform ourselves and save our relationships.     EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Fight, flight, or fix?... Healing the individual to heal the relationship… Coming down from false empowerment… A contempt-free life… MORE FROM TERRY REAL: Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship Terry's Website Read Terry's Other Work:  I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression How Can I Get Through To You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women The New Rules Of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work DIG DEEPER: Find an RLT Certified Therapist Near You  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I will never forget the day I was in my therapist's office sharing about how my anxiety was through the roof.  I was grieving the death of my father, saddened by my mother's cancer diagnosis, and fearful that my husband's business would have to close its doors.  I was the epitome of “down and out” in my life and marriage.My therapist had the ability to show deep compassion but also called me out on my denial when necessary.  She said, “Molly, you need help and I think you should begin with the book Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real."Terry's “say it like it is” attitude, transparency around his own marriage, and tips and tools, have literally saved my marriage and my soul.  After listening to today's episode I believe your relationships will also benefit from his ability to teach about communicating, not from the adaptive child but the wise adult.I'm so grateful that Terry not only said yes to being a guest on the podcast but said yes during a very busy time in his life with his new book, US: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, releasing on June 7th. It was this “yes” that brought forth an interview where we talked about how to be a present life partner and a loving parent.  He opened up about how his abusive childhood could turn into anger and grandiosity, but with deep internal work, it is now intense love and compassion for himself and others. And that he wrote his latest book to help us all remember how we can transform when there is unity and connection in relationships versus separation and disconnection. Terry is an internationally recognized Family Therapist, Speaker, and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy). Terry is the best-selling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work, Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with Love, and his latest book US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.His ideas on men's issues and couple's therapy have been celebrated in venues that include Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20,  Oprah, and The New York Times. When I look back 10 years ago, sitting in my therapist's office really struggling in my life, I know for sure that today I am a better wife, a less anxious human, and a more compassionate mom thanks to Terry Real. Learn more about Terry RealTerry's booksFind Terry on FacebookLearn more about Molly CarrollGet your free Body Emotion MapFind Molly on Instagram and Facebook 

There is no redeeming value in harshness- nothing good can come from this, that loving firmness can't do better. This is foundational to the work that internationally recognized family therapist, Terry Real, presents to so many of his clients. Whether it is to your partner, or yourself, practicing loving firmness is what can bring us to a place of US, moving us past individualism that separates us from each other, ourselves, the world. In US Terry, reveals how  individualism and patriarchy poisons our most intimate relationships. but offers this excellent news: warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In this episode, Terry shows people how to stop working on themselves as individuals and start working on their relationship as a couple, brining opportunity for relationship saving vulnerability and a deepening intimacy that is worth fighting for.Meet Terry!Terry Real knows how to help people create the connection they desire in relationships. An internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author, and the founder of the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Real has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists. His groundbreaking, bestselling book, I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, established him as one of the most respected voices in the treatment of men and male depression. His expertise on men's mental health and relationship issues have been featured on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, The Oprah Winfrey Show and in The New York Times, among many others.Real is passionate about showing how the toxic cultures of individualism and patriarchy have seriously damaged our interpersonal relationships. Despite living in a world interconnected by globalization and technology, we are all more disconnected and isolated from each other than ever before. In his practice, Real works with couples on the brink of disaster; he sees how individualism and patriarchy poisons our most intimate relationships. The excellent news: warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press), Real shows people how to stop working on themselves as individuals and start working on their relationship as a couple. Neurobiology shows that the mind exists in a social context, and couples co-regulate one another's nervous systems. But it's hard to get that delicate dance right if you, like so many people, grew up without adequate emotional support. The techniques you developed to survive a dysfunctional family as a kid—the very skills that probably bring you success in your career—will torch your relationships. US—the culmination of four decades of Real's clinical practice as well as teaching and writing about relationships, trauma, gender, and healing—is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset. One that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the cultural landscape that reinforce our dysfunction. Using psychology, history, and stories of couples who have entered his office, Real helps readers move beyond their traumas and stressors and shift from thinking in terms of me and you to a different consciousness. The consciousness of us. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” Thanks to our sponsors!https://arSupport the show

In today's premier episode of SHITSHOW SATURDAY, we are joined by Shitshow Scott, who shares about his upbringing, the impact that manifested in adulthood, and his ongoing journey of healing & recovery.Resources referencedBooks -- Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma Paperback by Pete Walker- The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.- It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn- Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Joe Dispenza - Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn - I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence RealPodcasts -- Traumatized Motherfuckers- 10 Percent HappierSupport the Podcast -https://www.patreon.com/adultchildwww.buymeacoffee.com/adultchildFollow Andrea on social -www.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodSupport the show (http://www.patreon.com/adultchild)

Terry Real is an internationally recognized Family Therapist, Speaker, and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology. A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty-five years, Terry is the best-selling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women (Scribner, 2002), The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work, and his latest book, Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.terryreal.com/“Women are unhappy in their marriages because they want men to be more related than most men know how to be. And men are unhappy in their marriages because their women seem so unhappy with them.” ~Terry RealMichael Stone is a spiritual author, mentor, shamanic practitioner, radio host, producer, and trauma integration facilitator who co-creates individual and group environments and experiences that support people in transcending the myth of separation, and experiencing deep and profound interconnection with others and all of life. He has been teaching and leading experiential events, classes, teleseminars and workshops on Organizational Development, Embodied Shamanism, Moving Meditation, Mysticism, Personal Growth, and Spiritual Fulfillment for over 40 years.For more information on the Well of Light Global Community, Programs, Radio shows and Services go to www.welloflight.comTo access other great interviews and offerings: www.patreon.com/welloflightYour donations are gratefully received and make it all possible!

#285 Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin Here's a quote from Terrence Real, therapist and author of the best seller: I Dont Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression “The way we turn boys into men is through injury. We pull them away from their own expressiveness, from their feelings, from their sensitivity to others. The very phrase “To be a man” means suck it up and keep going. Disconnection is not the fallout from traditional masculinity, disconnection IS traditional masculinity.” What Terrence Real is saying is most men have been indoctrinated to manhood through sustaining injury – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. We are taught to deal with that injury by disconnecting from our emotions. So not only are we walking around with untreated mental, emotional and spiritual wounds… …we don't even have the awareness that we're wounded because we're so disconnected from our emotions and ourselves. Here are some signs that wounds exist: You self sabotage when things in your life are going well You have difficulty maintaining intimacy in romantic relationships You are surrounded by people yet feel misunderstood and alone You don't have deep emotional relationships with other men You have a hard time trusting men You have a hard time trusting women You carry guilt or shame in your sexuality   In This Episode: The 7 Masculine Wounds: Growing up without a father/father figure Growing up with an emotionally unavailable father Enmeshment with a mother Never learning how to trust men with his emotions Having been bullied for size/status/sexual orientation Hazing rituals as normalized rights of passage to acceptance Believing pain and suffering are the most noble paths to success The impact these wounds have on our resiliency, on our ability to connect, on our ability to be trustworthy leaders How men's work facilitates the ability to turn towards, face and heal these wounds

“Before our boys have learned to read, they have already read the stoic code of masculinity and are conforming to it.” says Terry Real, world-renowned family therapist, speaker, best-selling author and founder of the Relational Life Institute, where he offers workshops for couples, individuals, parents and therapists. He is also a dear friend. While he's best known for his couples work, decades ago, he wrote the landmark book on male depression, which I cannot recommend enough. It's called, I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, and with it, Real established himself as one of the most respected voices in the treatment of men and the healing of their relationships with the world. In this episode, we talk about why depression is “illegal” for men, the cultural programming of boys, and forced detachment in the name of autonomy. Our culture of individualism, Real says, has done as much damage as our culture of patriarchy—leaving men little room for the type of connection and relationality that we humans live for. He leaves us with the steps for deprogramming ourselves from patriarchal thinking and parenting as well as the ways in which we can support the men in our lives in service of deeper connection and the pursuit of greater relational joy.  EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Exploring Terry's theory of male depression…(2:30) The cultural programming of boys…(12:50) Active trauma, passive trauma, and the severing of connection in the name of autonomy …(19:50)  Icarus syndrome and learning to find relational joy…(37:08) MORE FROM TERRY REAL: Terry's Website I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression How Can I Get Through To You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women The New Rules Of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work Take Terry's Online Course - Staying in Love: The Art of Fierce Intimacy DIG DEEPER: Find an RLT Certified Therapist Near You  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel frozen, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well—and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!   Show Notes for this Episode   Our 14-year-old daughter is being secretive and deleting texts. How do we navigate social media while maintaining our relationship with her? We've been married 11 years and my wife seems to have checked out. I am becoming bitter and angry. What can I do? I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression – by Terrence Real I'm caring for my first foster baby. How do prepare myself and my family for the time when we have to say goodbye to the baby? Lyrics of the Day: "The Fire" - The Roots feat. John Legend   As heard on this episode: BetterHelp 5-Minute Coverage Checkup   tags:   These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.`

The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel frozen, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well—and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!   Show Notes for this Episode   What books am I currently reading? non-fiction: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson The Biology of Desire - Why Addiction Is Not a Disease - Marc Lewis PhD Discipline Equals Freedom - Jocko fiction: Parable of the Talents - Octavia Butler Sleep Donation - Karen Russell The Only Good Indians - Stephen Graham Jones How Long 'til Black Future Month? - N.K. Jemisin   All-time favorite fiction: Danny the Champion of the World - Roald Dahl The Catcher in the Rye - J. D. Salinger Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk The Yearling - Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings Where the Red Fern Grows - Wilson Rawls The Adventures of Tom Sawyer - Mark Twain Jayber Crow - Wendell Berry Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowling   What books do I recommend for raising children? I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression – by Terrence Real Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry - John Mark Comer  Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief - David Kessler   What do I think about phone usage for kids?   What was the research I did for my PhDs?   What are my favorite podcasts? The Drive - Dr. Peter Attia Where Should We Begin? - Esther Perel Nurture vs Nurture with Dr. Wendy Mogel Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard Jocko Podcast - Leadership and Discipline standup comedians   What is my routine for living with adult ADHD? don't forget to remember writing things down sleep connection   What do I think about music education?   How often do you go without sugar?   Can you go into detail about the foods you eat?   What supplements do I take?   What's the sweetest thing I've ever done to surprise my wife?   How many followers/listeners does my show actually have?   What would I say to my younger self?   What's my most embarrassing moment?   What advice would I give to a therapist starting a practice?   Why am I so obsessed with diarrhea references?   What's the best woo-woo guidance I've ever received?   Favorite local Nashville places?   Lyrics of the Day: "Can I Kick It" - A Tribe Called Quest   As heard on this episode:  BetterHelp Redefining Anxiety John's Free Guided Meditation   These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.

The six women discuss feedback they’ve received from episode one through five based on their discussions of “Women Who Run with the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. They also call themselves out on times they were insensitive and speak about their privilege. Between laughing at their own mothers’ responses to the podcast, debating suggestions of the male version of “Women Who Run with the Wolves”, diving deep into the self help industry and trying to answer whether we need to fix ourselves, they are honest about their views and their lives. They ultimately discover how important storytelling is in all environments. Discussion Points: Kim reflecting on the group’s Coyote Dick conversation and possible insensitivity/the importance of coyote as the trickster in indigenous cultures in storytelling Storytelling as a valid form of education Acknowledging the group’s privilege in regards to discussion of the Ugly Duckling - not everyone can pick their group The book interrupted members’ mothers’ and mother-in-laws’ support and feedback Meredith’s Down The Rabbit Hole blog every Sunday and responses to it Lindsay’s feedback about episode three and not being a mom in a group of mothers Suggestions of male versions of Women Who Run with the Wolves and discussion on whether it fits: “The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire” by David Deida; “I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression” by Terrence Real; “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Miguel Ruiz How Kim should write Coles Notes of spiritual self-help books that annoy her Response to a fan feedback of “the topic is basically like fixing yourself which implies that you are broken” The self help industry - do you need to fix yourself or not? Is ignorance bliss? Is the podcast and club only for women? Is Women Who Run with the Wolves only for women? Other feedback Kara’s boss’ way she applies storytelling (and particularly “Women Who Run with the Wolves”) in a corporate environment Resources: Book Interrupted Website Book Interrupted YouTube Channel

"Thinking in Systems: A Primer" by Donella Meadows (2008) (http://bit.ly/3iK8Boz) "Living successfully in a world of systems requires more of us than our ability to calculate. It requires our full humanity — our rationality, our ability to sort out truth from falsehood, our intuition, our compassion, our vision, and our morality" (p. 170). References: "I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression" by Terrence Real (http://bit.ly/3oevL7F) The School of Life (YouTube, http://bit.ly/36clvqq / Website, https://www.theschooloflife.com/) Michael Lipset of PassTell Stories (http://www.michaellipset.com/) Connect: Twitter (https://twitter.com/mjcraw) Website (https://www.mjcraw.com) Music from Digi G'Alessio CC BY-NC-ND 3.0 (https://bit.ly/2IyV71i)

Welcome to today’s show!   In today’s solo episode, I’m sharing a book that has helped me to better understand Depression-especially male depression. In the show, I outline 5 takeaways from the book.   WHAT WE’LL LEARN   Here is what I want to spend time highlighting as if we were sitting together having an iced decaf mocha! How you can pass depression on from parent to child like a chain of pain For men, pain is something you should rise above and when we “fail” that is when the shame comes out The difference between overt vs. covert depression How depression leads to numbing the pain with behaviors & addictions Gender differences in how one handles depression The story of David Autobiographical thread throughout the book is riveting and raw especially how Terry Real turned his life around by breaking his own toxic legacy Adina’s PSA to the A.I.R. community   RESOURCES MENTIONED   Episode 52-where Adina talks about R.A.I.N. I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression atheistsinrecovery.com/audible For more info, head over to atheistsinrecovery.com and subscribe to our email list. And thank you for listening!   Leave an honest review on ITUNES.  Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.   Subscribe on ITUNES   If you enjoyed today’s episode, please share it with friends, family, and other professionals by using the social media buttons on this page.  

Parshas Chayei Sarah: Holding On - The Secret Legacy of Hagar by Rabbi Noach Light

Secret Legacy's list-aim launch week is finally over. It's been a year in the making to get here. So, did everything go as planned? Or did things fall apart? In today's episode, I'm going to use hindsight to our advantage and tell you what worked and what didn't work for the list-aim launch. Listen now! Be sure to check out the show notes by going to authorrevolution.org/47.

Welcome to today’s show!   In today’s solo episode, I’m sharing a book that has helped me to better understand Depression-especially male depression. In the show, outline 5 takeaways from the book.   WHAT WE’LL LEARN   Here is what I want to spend time highlighting as if we were sitting together having an iced decaf mocha! How you can pass depression on from parent to child like a chain of pain For men, pain is something you should rise above and when we “fail” that is when the shame comes out The difference between overt vs. covert depression How depression leads to numbing the pain with behaviors & addictions Gender differences in how one handles depression The story of David Autobiographical thread throughout the book is riveting and raw especially how Terry Real turned his life around by breaking his own toxic legacy Adina’s PSA to the A.I.R. community   RESOURCES MENTIONED   Episode 52-where Adina talks about R.A.I.N. I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression For more info, head over to atheistsinrecovery.com and subscribe to our email list. And thank you for listening!   Leave an honest review on ITUNES.  Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.   Subscribe on ITUNES   If you enjoyed today’s episode, please share it with friends, family, and other professionals by using the social media buttons on this page.  

Dr. Banker is interviewed about what the syndrome of depression. Terrence Real (1998). I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression. Diagnostic-Statistical-Manual-Mental-Disorders World Health Organization: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/xan0/message

You want to be a bestselling author, right? Have you dreamed about having NYT Bestselling Author beside your name, but you're not sure how you're going to get there? In today's episode, I'm talking about list-aiming your book or series so it can hit the USAT or NYT Bestseller lists. We'll be including information on what guidelines you need to qualify, as well as the details from my list-aim for Secret Legacy so far. Be sure to check out the show notes by going to authorrevolution.org/44.

How are you facing adversity? While serving in the United States Army, Marcus was seriously injured as he prepared to deploy with the 10th Mountain Light Infantry Division. This injury left Marcus paralyzed and turned his world upside down. During the subsequent surgery, Marcus died on the operating table twice. While the operation saved Marcus's life, he was still unable to walk. This adversity gift served as the catalyst Marcus needed to change his mindset and, therefore, his life. The lessons learned from Marcus's endeavor revealed his purpose and drives him to spread his message today.Book Recommendations:The War of Art Thick Face, Black Heart: The Warrior Philosophy for Conquering the Challenges of Business and Life I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression The 5 Love Languages Hardcover Special Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts Instant Impact: use this as an opportunity to find out what is important to you. In this Episode: About Marcus Aurelius Anderson [ 0:00 ]How adversity is a gift [ 4:55 ]Why mindset is essential for adversity [ 8:00 ]The benefits of adversity [ 11:30 ]About Marcus’s routines [ 14:10 ]Book recommendations [ 18:35 ]How to live a life of purpose [ 25:10 ]How to combat comfort and complacency [ 27:45 ]Advice for people who are feeling overwhelmed [ 29:45 ]How to make the most of adversity [ 34:00 ]Instant Impact [ 38:40 ]

Kat’s back for another session. This time, we talk about their experience of people pleasing and worthlessness. Kat describes the ideal of being a “wantless angel” that spends their time satisfying other people’s needs and wants. It may sound awful, but sometimes I think the body can be a traumatic place to be and focusing on someone else can sometimes be a relief, and a great way to get needs for validation met… and of course, sometimes a place of avoidance that many of us visit regularly or vacation in occasionally. I bring up the idea of slowing down the process of reliving trauma or “titrating” it, allowing someone to control how much they process at once. We talk about mental health and therapy. Finally, we make it to giving or getting permission to ask for what you want. Resources https://askingforwhatyouwant.com I Don’t Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Terrence Real from 1998) What does it mean to be a ‘good girl’? [“Among those socialized as girls, however, there’s a often particular extra-strong need to be nice, to put others’ needs before your own, and to follow the unwritten expectation that you must be compliant and self-sacrificing to be of value.” - Marcia Baczynski] What are your early experiences with being a ‘good girl’ Have you always been a people pleaser? Where do you think your ideas about self-sacrifice came from? How has people pleasing negatively affected your life? Do you think people pleasing can have physical as well as psychological effects? Do you see benefits to being a people pleaser? How has people pleasing affected your relationships? What steps have you taken to overcome the good girl conditioning? How has shaking off the good girl conditioning (or at least trying to) benefitted your life?

This episode is about men’s depression with Terry Real, the groundbreaking author of “I Don’t Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression”. Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Talk-About-Overcoming/dp/0684835398 Don’t Forget to grab your copy of the Amazon bestseller unHidden: A Book For Men and Those Confused by Them. It’s your easy-to-understand at-home guide to Robert’s living unHidden Framework. Get your copy today by visiting www.robertkandell.com/order OR, grab your free audio section of the book if you want to take it for a spin before you buy. And we promise this is NOT like movie trailers where they grab all the best pieces. Unhidden is pure relationship gold https://robertkandell.com/freeaudio Get More of Robert at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA4BLzufNXxgKGUsLVDTnlQ Follows us at : https://www.facebook.com/robert.kandell https://www.instagram.com/robert.kandell/ Join the living unhidden facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/unhidden/

This episode is about men's depression with Terry Real, the groundbreaking author of "I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression". Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Talk-About-Overcoming/dp/0684835398 Don't Forget to grab your copy of the Amazon bestseller unHidden: A Book For Men and Those Confused by Them. It's your easy-to-understand […]

Terry Real offers workshops for couples, individuals, and parents around the country along with professional training of the Relational Life Therapy method for clinicians through his Relational Life Institute. He also is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want To Talk About It, Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, and his new book The New Rules of Marriage is out now. Today, he chose the topic of healing betrayal, the added challenges that addiction brings in to the situation, and the roadblocks that must be moved in order for real healing and change, and possibly even a transformed relationship better than it was before.     TAKEAWAYS: [2:43] In order for it to count as infidelity, there needs to be two elements: a violation of contract and trust, and deceit. [5:14] The partner usually has two questions: how can you do this, and how can I know you won’t do this again? [5:47] The three phases that generally occur when coming back from infidelity: The Acute Phase - the partner is in a true state of trauma, blind fury, crisis, and shame. Everything they believe to be true has been pulled out from underneath them. The partner that has acted out needs to come clean, step up, and end all of whatever the involvements are. The Understanding Phase - what did the infidelity do to the betrayed partner, and what it meant for the betrayer. This is the phase where we assess the relationship, and look for narcissistic character traits that may have overridden loyalty and trust. Recommitment and Transformation - fix and transform the characters, and look at changing accommodation patterns there may be in the hurt partner and a realistic look at the relationship in all it’s positives and negatives. [11:38] Reassuring behavior will help to regain trust, and the need for it differs couple by couple. [19:42] The harmony phase is the innocent “love without knowledge” phase, the “knowledge without love” phase is the dissolution phase, which then flows into experienced love where you know what is at stake, but it is an informed choice to stay. [26:40] The same type of narcissism that gets the partner to betray in the first place, also keeps them from successfully being accountable and trustworthy to their partner in the healing stage. [29:44] Personal empowerment is based in individual power, and relational empowerment is to bring your full strength into the relationship.   RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Rob@sexandrelationshiphealing.com Terry Real The New Rules of Marriage I Don’t Want to Talk About It How Can I Get Through To You The Golden Bowl Beyonce Lemonade Sex and the City   QUOTES: “Trauma sweeps away the underlying beliefs that you don’t think about.” “There is a bit of Tiger Wood’s spouse in all of us.” “You have to ask them, why they wouldn’t cheat?” “Wholeness and connection feels better than the lack of wholeness and connection.” “I don’t like the word forgiveness.” “The unfaithful partner needs to get it and really move into empathy and remorse.” “Most couples that I work with do not go back to the same relationship, they go back to a better one.”

Finlay Wilson gained overnight international recognition for his "cheeky" and viral Kilted Yoga video, which aired on the BBC in 2017. But don't let that first impression fool you. The Kilted Yogi himself is quite serious about yoga. Finlay is a senior Forrest Yoga teacher who owns and operates a studio in his hometown of Dundee, Scotland, and he has also established the Young Yogis Project to bring free yoga to toddlers, children, teenagers and young people with special needs and disability. Finlay is a cook, published author, media activist, and of course, tartan enthusiast. In this episode, you'll hear from Finlay on: The darker side of willpower, and the role yoga played in Finlay's swapping alcoholism for bulimia and other forms of addiction How, if we aren't careful, we can use mental gymnastics to justify self-destructive behavior The validity of human feeling, and the difference between 'detachment' and emotional unavailability How Finlay parlayed 15 minutes of fame into a wide-reaching platform from which he speaks out on depression, abuse, and civil rights Announcements: Help me get to China for the IYSF World Asana Championships! Donate to my travel fund: paypal.me/henrywins Join me for workshops in NYC (Yoga & Fitness Herald Square), Virginia (The Yoga Dojo + Hot Yoga Richmond), and California (YogaWorks Costa Mesa): henrywins.com/events Apply to the Jan 2019 200-hour teacher training at Lighthouse Yoga School, and get $100 OFF your tuition with referral code HENRYWINS: henrywins.com/events Links from this episode: Watch the Kilted Yoga BBC video on YouTube I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real — Grab a copy of Finlay's recommended book Get in touch with Finlay: finlay-wilson.com — Check out the Kilted Yogi's blog and upcoming events Follow @finlay0901 on Instagram

Traditional therapy has done a great job of providing clients with a warm, loving, compassionate environment to heal. Unfortunately, it falls short when it comes to bringing up difficult truths to people when that is necessary. In this episode, Terry Real talks about the three phases of his model, Relational Life Therapy (RLT), the first of which is joining through the truth. In this way he begins the process of creating quick, profound change in the individuals and couples he works with.  During the conversation we get into stance-stance-dance, empowering the latent, using a lot of pause, grandiosity, inner child work, and many of the other aspects of Terry's model for couples therapists (RLT). Terry Real is a leader in the field of couples therapy. He has written 3 books which are linked below, numerous articles, and has been featured in countless interviews with media outlets. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute and continues to work with couples as well as train therapists. For more information on his upcoming level one training click the link below. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes. Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group. Check out Terry Real's website at terryreal.com Click here to learn more about RLT level 1 training Books The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

“It’s never too late. Put the divorce on pause, find a really strong, good therapist who knows what they’re doing, and give it a few months before you pull the plug.” Terry Real is a renown family therapist and the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and How Can I Get Through to You?: Reconnecting Men and Women. Terry is the founder of the Relational Empowerment Institute, and his work has been featured on NBC Nightly News, Today, and Oprah, as well as in The New York Times, Psychology Today, and numerous academic publications. He is known for his ground-breaking work in helping transform couples on the brink of divorce. Today, Terry joins Katherine to discuss the role of grieving your marriage in the process of letting go and the silver lining of learning that can come from the divorce process. He shares his approach to working with couples on ‘marital death’s door,’ explaining how he leverages the Relationship Intervention to get couples back on track. Listen in to find out why Terry thinks you should press the pause button and seek out emergency couples therapy before you move forward with divorce. Topics Covered The challenge around feeling the pain of divorce without acting it out The pivotal role of grieving in the process of letting go How to view divorce as a potential growth experience Understand your part in what went wrong Realign with core values How the Relationship Intervention helps couples get back on track Terry’s approach to working with couples on ‘marital death’s door’ Take sides, tell the truth Create treatment program The value of having a therapist that acts as a coach rather than a cheerleader Why couples don’t seek help before they are in dire straits Terry’s take that no matter how bad a marriage is, there is always hope The four methods of decision-making in the divorce process DIY Traditional litigation model Mediation Collaborative law Connect with Terry Real Terry’s Website: www.terryreal.com Books by Terry Real: amazon.com/Terrence-Real/e/B000APV0Q8/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1 Resources Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life by Abigail Trafford: www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-not-to-hatehttps://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Time-Surviving-Divorce-Building/dp/0060923091-your-husband-like-i-used-to-sdzfrwzff ‘How to Not Hate Your Husband’ in The Times: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-not-to-hate-your-husband-like-i-used-to-sdzfrwzff Staying in Love Online Course: http://stayinginlove.pages.ontraport.net/%20 Relationship Inventory Quiz: www.terryreal.com/quiz I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Terry Real: www.terryreal.com/product/i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/ Connect with Katherine Miller The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/ Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/ Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology. A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty-five years, Terry is the best-selling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight- talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work. Terry's work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. His ideas on men's issues and on couples therapy have been celebrated in venues from the Good Morning America, The Today Show and 20/20, to Oprah and The New York Times. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” as described in The New Rules of Marriage, Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.” Terry knows how to lead couples on a step-by- step journey to greater intimacy — and greater personal fulfillment. His website is www.terryreal.com.

In this episode I explore: the link between anger and depression. the different types of depression. different treatments for depression. reframing depression. Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support. iTunes -- Stitcher Player FM -- Libsyn Resources Mentioned in the Episode NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Health NIMH: National Institute of Mental Health ADAA: Anxiety and Depression Association of America MAYO: Mayo Clinic TWLOHA: To Write Love on Her Arms (self-harm, suicide) I Just Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terence Real Unmasking Male Depression: Recognizing the Root Cause to Many Problems Such as Anger, Resentment, Abusiveness, Silence, Addictions, and Sexual Compulsiveness by Archibald Hart A Women’s Guide to Overcoming Depression by Archibald Hart and Catherine Hart Weber A Mind of Your Own: The Truth About Depression and How Women Can Heal Their Bodies to Reclaim Their Lives by Kelley Brogan M.D. and Kristin Loberg Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer Naming and Navigating Depression in the Lives of Teenagers by Rhett Smith

It is not unusual for me to be sitting across from a man in my therapy office as he relays to me the story about when he first learned that it was not okay for boys to cry. It is usually a very powerful moment. I have heard men of all ages and backgrounds tell this story. And though the characters and contexts are different, the take away message is always the same. It is not safe for men to show emotions. One of the more powerful moments came in my work with a man in his 70's as he recalled with tears in his eyes that incident 70 years earlier when his father told him to stop crying. That event was 70 years ago and it had a profound shaping affect on that man's understanding of masculinity and what defines it. I am super passionate about helping men identify their feelings. Because if a man can identify them, understand them, name them...have words and language for them...he often begins to not only understand himself better, but so do those people in relationship with him. He begins to own his own story in the words of Brene Brown in Rising Strong. And once he can begin to identify his feelings then we are off and running. He then learns to be able to connect those feelings to the negative coping behaviors that he has probably, and automatically, operated out of most of his life. And it's this awareness that I know eventually leads to powerful change for that man. For without the awareness, one cannot change. I've seen men's lives changed in this process and it has changed my life as well. So it's important to me to help you better understand why men have a hard time connecting to their emotions, and what role you may play in that for good or bad. In this episode I explore: our culture's pressure on men to not cry and to just "be a man." how boys are as equally expressive as young girls...but then why that changes. how a man can begin the process of identifying and connecting to his feelings/emotions what role the people in men's lives have in either perpetuating the belief that it's not okay for men to cry...or in helping create a safe place for men to be vulnerable. how to create a safe space for men to be vulnerable. Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support. iTunes -- Stitcher Player FM -- Libsyn Resources Mentioned in this Episode Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy (blog post) What it Means to be a Man: God's Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes by Rhett Smith Rising Strong by Brene Brown I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terence Real

Terry Real is a renowned psychotherapist, author, and speaker celebrated for his significant contributions to the field of relational trauma and adult child issues. In today's episode, we delve into...