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Why You're Always Anxious (And How To Regulate Your Nervous System) Welcome back to The Confident Sober Women Podcast! I'm your host, Shelby John, sober therapist, EMDR therapist, and fellow woman in recovery. In today's solo episode, we're diving into a topic that comes up constantly with my clients, friends, and even in my own life: nervous system regulation.You might say, “Why am I always anxious?” or “Why do I feel overwhelmed when nothing's even wrong?” If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We'll explore why your anxiety often seems to appear out of nowhere, what's really happening in your body, and the powerful science-backed tools you can use to feel calm, clear, and in control—especially in sobriety.Here's what you'll learn: ✔️ What your nervous system actually does (think of it like your body's operating system) ✔️ How trauma, stress, and addiction keep your system in fight-or-flight—even when you're safe ✔️ Why nervous system regulation is crucial to sustainable sobriety ✔️ Three simple tools to use TODAY to reduce anxiety and regain calm:The Physiological Sigh (a proven breath technique straight from neuroscience)Orienting to Safety (a quick somatic practice to ground your body)Name It to Tame It (a powerful brain hack to reduce emotional reactivity by 50%)Plus, I share how EMDR therapy and remote neurofeedback go beyond talk therapy to retrain your brain and heal anxiety and trauma at the root. These tools are especially helpful for women who've been sober a year or more and are craving deeper healing and emotional freedom.If you're ready to stop white-knuckling your day and finally feel peace in your body—this episode will show you exactly how to start.
Episode Title: Break. Feel. Heal. Lead with H.E.A.R.T. Resilience isn't about avoiding emotions—it's about embracing them, growing through them, and leading with intention. In this powerful and transformative episode, host Singh takes listeners on an emotional and practical journey through the H.E.A.R.T. Framework, a five-step guide to building resilience, navigating challenges, and leading with purpose. With a dynamic mix of relatable humor, actionable advice, and heartfelt insights, this episode breaks down the process of turning life's toughest moments into opportunities for personal growth and leadership. Listeners will laugh, reflect, and leave inspired as Singh unpacks each step of the framework:Harmonize: Find emotional balance amidst chaos.Examine: Name and understand your emotions as valuable data.Align: Connect your actions with your core values.Respond: Mindfully choose intentional responses over impulsive reactions.Track: Reflect on your growth to turn challenges into stepping stones for transformation. Through interactive exercises, real-life examples (including some laugh-out-loud relatable moments), and a focus on leading with intention, Singh shows that resilience isn't about being unbreakable—it's about breaking, feeling, healing, and becoming stronger than ever before. Key Takeaways: The importance of embracing emotions rather than avoiding them.Practical tools like “Name It to Tame It” and “The Power of the Pause” to manage emotional challenges.How aligning actions with values leads to intentional and purposeful leadership.Why tracking your growth is essential for building resilience over time. Take five minutes this week to reflect on a challenge using the H.E.A.R.T. Framework—and don't forget to celebrate your progress! Let's Begin! Watch here: https://youtu.be/aiBy0Osd0lk
Send us a textEpisode Title: What to Do When You're TriggeredEpisode Description:Have you ever felt an unexpected wave of anxiety, fear, or distress that seemed to come out of nowhere? That's a emotional trigger at work and may or may not be a result of unresolved trauma. In today's episode of The Keith Brown Show, I'm sharing three quick and impactful techniques to help you regain control when your trigger take over.Please note this episode applies to ANY emotional trigger, often brought on by past lived experiences. Keith does NOT diagnose any mental or physical issues. Seek a licensed professional if diagnosis is needed. This episode simply shares some techniques to calm one's self if such an emotional episode arises. You'll learn:✅ How to "Name It to Tame It" and re-engage your logical brain✅ The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique (popularized by Dr. Sarah Allen) to bring yourself back to the present✅ A simple breathing exercise to instantly calm your nervous systemTriggers happen—but they don't have to define you. Tune in to discover small actions that create big shifts in your healing journey!
Send us a textToday we're talking feelings, you know, those things we try so hard to ignore, shove down, or pretend don't exist? “I'm fine… EVERYTHING IS FINE!!!” Sound familiar?This week, I'm diving into emotional regulation—not just to deal with stress, anxiety, or overwhelm, but to actually allow ourselves to feel the feelings. Because ignoring them doesn't make them go away. It just leaves us stuck, disconnected, and sometimes even overwhelmed by things we don't fully understand.Here's what we'll cover:Why dissociation is a survival tool—and why it can't be a long-term strategy.The power of naming your emotions (Dr. Peter Levine calls it “Name It to Tame It”).How having a bigger emotional vocabulary helps you understand yourself and communicate better.Recognizing the sensations in your body—what they're telling you and how to respond.Why it's okay to feel scared, hurt, or even joy that feels too big to hold.I'll share my own journey of learning to stop running from emotions and start making space for them, even when they're messy, uncomfortable, or downright scary. Because feelings are just information. They don't control you—they guide you.We'll also talk about tools like emotional vocabulary wheels, noticing body sensations, and calming your nervous system so you can better respond to what your emotions are asking of you.It's not about getting rid of your feelings. It's about deciding what you'll do with them.get in there and give it a listen! Support the showResources:Manage Your Stress MentorshipDiscovery call You can find more about Brain-Body Resilience and JPB:On the BBR WebsiteOn InstagramOn FacebookSign up for the BBR newsletter
The Tongue... Tame It or Flame It
Dive into mindful emotion management, exploring Dr. Dan Seigal's "Name It to Tame It" technique. Discover how Noting can foster emotional balance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Exploring the challenges of working as TANDEM partners. How can we acknowledge the disappointment and overwhelm using the Name It to Tame It process.
In this episode of the NEGOTIATEx podcast, award-winning confidence coach, Natalie Costa, discusses the importance of emotional intelligence in children. Drawing from her extensive background both as an educator and running her foundation, Power Thoughts, Natalie emphasizes the significance of recognizing and addressing children's emotions, especially anxiety and anger, which have seen an upsurge post-COVID. She also explores barriers parents face, the role of social media pressures, and the shared learning journey between parents and children. The conversation includes strategies such as breathing techniques, the “Name It to Tame It” approach, and the power of physical movement in processing emotions. Natalie's insights underscore the importance of understanding and navigating the emotional complexities of childhood.
Are you afraid of the dark? Do clowns give you the heebie-jeebies? Does the thought of public speaking make you want to run for the hills? Fear not, my friend! This episode is here to teach you how to "Name It to Tame It.", IT as in "your fears!" Listen in as I share how naming your biggest fear immediately gives you control to conquer them like the brave soul you are! Buckle up, buttercup, and get ready to face your fears head-on! Let's Calm it Down in 3...2...1.
ADHD impacts the entire family. In this episode of the Soaring Child, licensed child and family therapist Ashley Gobeil joins the show to discuss how ADHD impacts siblings in the family. Ashley is no stranger to being a guest on this podcast and doesn't require a long introduction, but she has so much gold in every episode. She is a highly experienced therapist with over 15 years' experience and extensive expertise with children who have been given the diagnosis of ADHD, ODD, and learning difficulties. In this episode, discover strategies parents can use to diffuse sibling rivalry and to support both the child with ADHD and the other children in the home. Here are the links mentioned in the show: Episode 4 - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/podcast/soaring-child-episode-4/ Episode 17 - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/podcast/soaring-child-episode-17/ Episode 28 - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/podcast/soaring-child-episode-28/ Love languages quiz - https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language Key Takeaways: [3:12] How ADHD impacts siblings [5:23] What parents can do to support the child in the family who doesn't have ADHD [8:09] Love languages [9:31] Other ways parents can support siblings [13:28] How parents can speak to siblings about the other child's ADHD [16:30] How to manage ADHD behaviors in the moment [19:18] How the conversation changes as children get older [22:17] The importance of consistency in this approach [24:24] How parents can promote a more positive relationship between siblings Memorable Moments: "Behaviors really do communicate their emotional experiences." "We've really got to trust our parenting instincts. If it feels like I'm not giving my child enough attention, they might be feeling that way too." "If we can get a bit of a picture or an understanding of, 'What's the siblings' experience of what's happening in the home? What's their feeling?' Then we can go, 'What's their underlying need?' And then we can respond and support them in that need." "I often like to start with that verbal observation of what I am seeing between the siblings. And then you do the Name it to Tame It." "We do want that sibling to feel heard, seen, soothed...But we also want them to be able to hold compassion and empathy for their sibling as well." "Rather than...'How do we hit with the discipline or consequential action," going, 'what do I want to teach in this moment?'" "There's the content of what they're saying, but what's actually underneath?" "You are building a new picture of how your children experience you." "A really important focus on how we create that sibling relationship is...that parent-child relationship...When that child who is struggling feels connected to, feels heard and understood by the parent, we're in a much better place to build the foundations of that positive sibling relationship." How to Connect with Ashley Gobeil: Website: https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd Dana Kay Resources: Website: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/
The outline of my first book is complete - check out the caption below to see the outline! I've gained some great insights while starting the writing process - you can find those in the summary below. The working title is - Play with Confidence: A New Way for Athletes to Mentally Prepare The purpose of the book is to challenge the status quo on mental preparation and question the ‘accepted' ways of thinking about confidence. It will debunk the fluffy clichés, cookie-cutter strategies, and ‘old-school' beliefs entrenched in the sport culture. If you dare to be different and embrace the new ways of thinking, then you will play with confidence, enjoy the journey and achieve Consistent Elite Performance. Let me know which chapter you are looking forward to the most: 1) Challenge the Status Quo & Dare to Be Different 2) Stop Yo-Yo Confidence 3) Build Momentum & Snowball Confidence 4) Self-Talk: Name It to Tame It 5) Create a Confident Identity - aka an Alter Ego 6) Block out the Noise - Reset Routine 7) Redefine Success & Develop Your Personal Scorecard 8) Game Day Mental Preparation Routines 9) Specific Problems & Solutions 10) Tweak & Refine for Long-Term Success What's funny is that writing a book about high-performance takes being a high-performer - so I've had to personally apply the principles in the book as I've undertaken this new challenge. One main adjustment for me has been that this is not a week-long project - just like being an elite athlete - writing a book is more like a marathon than a sprint. The balance of patience and dedication has been important to overcome the moments of struggle when I question if I will ever get it done. I've also had to battle my own demons about “will this book be any good?” But, trying to predict how many people will read it and find it helpful is not my job. My intent is to have a lot of people read it and for it to have a significant impact - as such, I'll be diligent and strategic in how I write. I will also surround myself with allies to help optimize the book and the subsequent distribution process. Whether I sell 100 or a million copies is not the point. That is a result and my job is to focus on what I can control. If I put my heart into it and give my best effort (which I will) whatever the result will be - I can live with it. It's just a result and form of feedback. What matters most is doing something I believe is meaningful. And because this book is meaningful to me that is the WHY I am putting my heart into it and giving my best effort. Likewise, elite athletes need to stop worrying about results and predicting the outcomes. The paradox of it all is that athletes optimize their results when they focus on what they can control and stay connected to their intrinsic WHY - which is often some form of the love of the game that gives them meaning! That's all for now - again I'd love to hear what chapter you are looking forward to the most.
How are you? No really, how are you? Actually taking a mindful moment to examine and name our feelings is rare in our busy lives. But acknowledging feelings, whether negative or positive, is key to mental health and full presence in our lives. We want our kiddos to be Feeling Detectives! Listen in to Kelly and Kristi's discussion in this episode of Mindful Conversations with KAY to learn about: *Why kids might be hesitant to explore their feelings *Riding the wave of feelings *Talking to kids about emotions *The power of saying, "Tell me more about that..." *Name it to tame it *Mindfulness tools to explore emotions *The importance of emotion modeling for parents Learn more! Poses to Ease Children's Emotional Pain: https://kiddingaroundyoga.com/kids-yoga-emotion-mental-health/ Yoga as a Social Emotional Tool: https://kiddingaroundyoga.com/yoga-social-emotional-play-based-movement/ Creating Space for Children to Regulate their Emotions: https://kiddingaroundyoga.com/creating-space-for-children-to-regulate-their-energy-and-emotions/ Dr. Dan Segal's Name it to Tame It: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcDLzppD4Jc Dr. Sarah Allen: https://www.brainbehaviorbridge.com
Do you find yourself eating past fullness and not sure why? Eating past fullness from time to time is normal. I do it too! It can happen for a lot of reasons that aren't too worrisome. You're distracted, things didn't go as planned, you go out to eat, etc. But I can't tell you how many times women come to me saying they can't even get themselves to eat more than 1300, 1400, 1500 calories… yet they are also saying that their clothes dont fit and they want to slim down and lean out. Now if you are consistently eating past fullness, the reason you keep overeating is NOT your lack of willpower, your cravings, or just who you are as a person… In my experience coaching close to 1000 women, I've found that consistently eating past fullness typically boils down to 8 things. In Part 1 of this 2 part series, we will cover the first 4 reasons why you're probably eating past fullness and what you can do to overcome them! Time Stamps: (1:40) Why You Keep Eating Past Fullness (4:32) Does This Sound Like You? (5:37) Scarcity Mindset Around Food (9:19) Incorporating Food Freedom (11:32) Emotions Outside Your Neutral State (13:20) Name the Emotion to Tame It (13:44) What Do You Want to Feel? (16:54) Eating While Distracted (18:22) Learning to Eat Distraction Free (25:02) Breakfast---------------------100 EPISODE GIVEAWAY! Leave a rating + review on iTunes, and Have a Chance To Win a $250 Amazon Gift Card!Simply leave a review, and send a screenshot to @vanessagfitness on Instagram!Winner will be announced on Episode 100---------------------Download Our FREE Workout Program---------------------Home Gym Equipment We Recommended:Resistance Bands SetFlybird BenchFlybird DumbbellsBowflex Adjustable Kettlebell---------------------Join the Food and Fitness for Busy Ladies with Social Lives Facebook Community for 25+ videos teaching you how to start losing weight without hating your life!---------------------Check out our Youtube Channel!---------------------Follow @vanessagfitness on Instagram for daily fitness tips & motivation. --------------------Enjoyed the podcast? Let us know what you think and leave a 5⭐️ rating and review on iTunes!
Peace exists on the other side of your resistance. The noise, talking, and eating of the holidays, A haze cast over the clearer vision I had developed with my practice. Awareness of wholeness seems to slip away little by little until I am binge eating all those sweets I swore I didn't want and rubbing my Magic the Gathering headache.How come the lived experience of peace is so easy to forget and the mechanical habits so enticing?Getting ready to head back to work after this long holiday break, I decided to get back into my regular sitting practice. Sitting down into my Zazen posture, it took only minutes until my awareness touched the confusion and irritation in my body. Becoming aware, I saw how the confusion in my body moved to churn thoughts in my head and this aversion to what was happening, resistance to what already was.The thoughts sounded like this:"Why did you eat so much sugar? You're lazy. Why didn't you offer to help wash the dishes? You really feel like shit now, don't you? What is wrong with you?"Seeing the energy and thoughts clearly, I smiled. I saw my mind flicker as if to say, "Well, if you don't resist this, then what?"As I let go of that thought, instant peace came over me. The "negative feelings" didn't change, but my awareness reclaimed its seat in freedom. I let go of the desire for this moment to be anything but what it was. Many teachers talk about this concept of naming what is happening in our bodies and minds. Here is an excerpt from an article on the website growmindfulness.com"In his book, Mindsight, Dan Siegel argues that we "Name It to Tame It" – in other words, by naming our feelings, we are better able to control them or, at least, lessen their impact...To say "I feel angry" is a very different statement, both in content and impact, then the words "I am angry". The latter tends to define us as angry people, whereas the former helps us to recognize that we are not our feelings – we are a lot more than what we feel. Feelings come and go in nature and intensity – our essence remains. Naming our emotions in a gentle, non-judgmental way affirms our self-worth and opens up the opportunity to master our feelings." - growmindfulness.comI like what was said here. However, I don't like the statement, "master our feelings," as this continues the legacy of war between our thoughts and how we want things to be.As we become truly aware of what is happening in our bodies and minds and hold that truth in open awareness, there will be no need to "Master our feelings." Once we encounter the truth in and around our complex emotions, that reality fundamentally changes the challenging emotion itself. Yes, better controlling our emotions is an admirable skill and is undoubtedly a by-product of Zazen. However, we don't sit in Zazen to change anything.Speaking of the distraction of the holidays, I like the idea of embracing distraction. I and many others have tapped purposefully on their phone screen, deleting Instagram and Facebook, writing a very heartfelt post to my friends explaining my decision to leave social media alone. All this to find myself redownloading the apps or sneaking a peek of Facebook through the browser.Embracing distraction as a lay practitioner may be the only way to go. It is a path of nonresistance. Can we find the middle path with all of this technology?If you've found the path and been able to walk it, please let me know. I have yet to be able to walk it. The only skillful way to reclaim my attention and original Mind is through a regular sitting practice. After all of the holiday noise, food, and waves of experiences, it is easy to get pulled back into the flow and pushed around by things. If we have a regular sitting practice, we build our reconnection to original Mind into our schedules. We remove the stumbling block of missed Zazen practice by ensuring our reconnection to the Dharma through regular, scheduled training.Just like when we were kids, our parents repeatedly reminded us to brush our teeth until the habit was clearly formed, every morning and night. We must be our own good parents and develop the habit of Zazen. We brush our teeth to avoid cavities and decay. We sit Zazen to reconnect us with our Original Mind.Why do we resist? We resist out of our illusion of control. We believe that by fighting something, we can avoid it or change it. However, the reality is that what we resist persists. My wife brought up to me over the holidays her frustration with a comment someone close to her made; when she told them about her struggles with PMDD, they said, "Well, you just have to choose to not take it personally." This really frustrated her, as I assume it would have for most people.I wonder if they have some different machinery than me? Maybe some people really can control their thoughts and emotions with precision like that. I, however, cannot.The only thing that has led to any peace for me is fully becoming aware in those moments when I feel attacked, offended, or hurt. I cannot turn these emotions or thoughts off, but I have trained my awareness system to kick on faster and faster when these emotional bumps come along. The more I become aware of and see these emotions and thoughts for what they are, they change, and my sense of self grows larger.For instance, instead of being solely the experience of being offended by a side comment someone made, I am now simultaneously both offended by a comment someone made and aware of swinging around an unimaginably hot ball of gas whirling ever out into the blackness of space. It is the realized concept of "This Too."Soaking our attention in the stillness of Zazen allows our "Orignal Mind" to be uncovered. I have mentioned this term original mind a couple of times. Here is an excerpt from one of Shodo Harada Rōshis writings, titled, Original Mind. He writes:"In Buddhism, it's often said that humans' Original Mind, that Mind we have at birth, is like a clear mirror, pure and uncluttered, without shape, form, or color, with nothing in it whatsoever. If something comes before it, the mirror reflects it precisely, but the mirror itself gives birth to nothing. If what has been reflected leaves, its image disappears, but the mirror itself loses nothing. Within the mirror, there is no birth, no death. No matter how dirty a thing that is reflected might be, the mirror doesn't get dirty, nor does it become beautiful because something beautiful is reflected in it.Just because additional things are reflected, that doesn't mean anything increases in the mirror itself, nor does anything ever decrease when fewer objects are reflected. A mirror is without increase or decrease.Humans' pure Original Nature is just this. Without shape, form, or color; without birth and death; not clean or dirty; not increasing or decreasing; not male or female; not young, not old; not intelligent, not stupid; not rich, not poor. There are no words, no explanation possible, no description that will apply here, only a pure mirror-like base. This is humans' true quality; this is an actual experience. From our Zazen (sitting meditation), cut all nen (mind-instants), dig down completely to the source of those nen—dig, dig, dig until we reach the place where the human character has been totally cleared. When the source point is reached, this state of Mind can be touched."By Shodo Harada Rōshis"No matter how dirty a thing that is reflected might be, the mirror doesn't get dirty, nor does it become beautiful because something beautiful is reflected in it."We resist what appears in the mirror out of a desire to deny the thing being reflected. We aren't fully aware of our true identity as the mirror yet and mistake ourselves as the reflected object. As mentioned by Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now, a lot of our identity is wrapped up in these negative parts of ourselves.Even though a particular aspect of our thinking and belief system causes us much pain and trouble in our lives, we may still cling to it. Why is this?It comes from the strength of the ego. The part of us that fears annihilation, desperately grasping for something solid. A deep well of fear can open up in someone as they start to look behind the curtain of their most well-orchestrated negative concepts of reality. So then, resistance can manifest in multiple forms. One is our avoidance of facing and feeling something. Another is our inability to let a specific aspect of our beliefs dissolve, negative as they may be. We fear stepping into beginners' Mind because of our fear of annihilation. We want so badly to control our version, our narrative of reality, that we will create multitudes of reasons why this practice is stupid, how it's not working, or downright unsafe!We fear letting go because we haven't experienced the freedom of our original Mind yet, the peace of letting go.One of the cliches worth mentioning here is Gandhi's quote, "There is no path to peace. Peace is the path." When I say, "Peace exists on the other side of your resistance." I don't mean that you will have peace once you do this or that other thing. I mean that peace is available to you now, but you must stop resisting, easier said than done, right? This is where Zazen comes in.When we practice Zazen, we cultivate the ability to hold our experiences in equanimity or open awareness. Zazen practice trains our minds to hold experiences from the witnessing perspective. That's why many teachers have students start with watching their breath. There isn't much to judge about our breath, good or bad. It just is. Over time we develop this ability to witness, and we can take this attention to other aspects of our experience. Now we can see our sadness, loneliness, anger, or physical pain with equanimity, with the open awareness we have cultivated.I first learned about the concept of Witnessing Presence while reading Eckhart Tolles The Power of Now. In it, he says:"The good news is that you can free yourself from your Mind. This is the only true liberation. You can take the first step right now. Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old gramophone records that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years. This is what I mean by "watching the thinker," which is another way of saying: listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence.When you listen to that voice, listen to it impartially. That is to say, do not judge. Do not judge or condemn what you hear, for doing so would mean that the same voice has come in again through the back door. You'll soon realize: there is the voice, and here I am listening to it, watching it. This I am realization, this sense of your own presence, is not a thought. It arises from beyond the Mind.So when you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought. A new dimension of consciousness has come in. As you listen to the thought, you feel a conscious presence — your deeper self — behind or underneath the thought, as it were. The thought then loses its power over you and quickly subsides, because you are no longer energizing the Mind through identification with it. This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking." - Eckhart Tolle.Repetitive thoughts followed by cycles of guilt haunted me as I read the power of now for the first time 12 years ago. I had never heard of "mindfulness" or practiced mediation before. Still, as I sat there on my parent's patio by the river, I remember this odd practice of continuously bringing my attention back to the sound of the river rushing by beneath me. I felt wholly relieved to read that I was not my thoughts and that there was an ancient practice available for slowing the Mind and moving through suffering. My Mind was a whirlwind of pain and medications were no longer an option. I remember Eckhart urging me from the pages to turn towards my pain, to watch the repetitive thoughts and painful cycles with the eyes of the witness (nonjudgmental presence.) To be honest, it didn't make a lot of sense, but I pursued the instructions with such vigor because of the pain I was in.Little breakthroughs began to happen. I remember looking up at the blue sky with little whisps of clouds stretching out behind a giant pine tree and feeling connected to the presence and beauty of that moment. My worrying Mind was paused for that instant. So far, after 12 years of off-and-on practice, I can say this. Something is happening to how I meet my life. When worry, grief, anger, or confusion set in, a new dimension is available to me. A spaciousness in and around the troubling emotions. Paraphrasing a quote, I read, "It feels that I have moved from a cramped apartment into an airplane hanger. I still have all of the same stuff, but now there is a whole lot more room!"I enjoyed making this one and sharing it with you. I am experimenting with writing out my episodes again. Thinking on my biggest struggle with this podcast, it is consistency. I want to provide you with a consistent release schedule, but I worry it will stretch the content too thin. I will experiment on it! What did you think?I hope you have a wonderful week! Until next time.MattSource: https://growmindfulness.com/naming-your-feelings-to-tame-them/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-imperfect-buddhist/donations
In this episode of Real Talk, KJK Student & Athlete Defense Attorneys Susan Stone and Kristina Supler are joined by Certified Positive Discipline Lead Trainers Kelly Pfeiffer and Dodie Blomberg to talk about positive discipline and how parents can use it as a tool to empower and grow their children while fostering true connection. TRANSCRIPT: Susan Stone: Welcome back to Real Talk with Susan Stone and Kristina Supler. We're full-time moms and attorneys bringing our students defense legal practice to light with real candid conversation. Today's topic is discipline, in particular, positive discipline. We bring with us two special guests, Kelly Pfeiffer, and Dodie Blomberg. Kelly Pfeiffer: Thanks for having us. Kristina Supler: Our pleasure. We're so pleased today to have Kelly and Dodie with us. Both women are Certified Positive Discipline Lead Trainers and have years of experience with the topic that is positive discipline. So ladies, before we dive in, why don't you give us a little bit of your own background? Tell us about yourselves. Kelly Pfeiffer: I'm Kelly Pfeiffer and when I became a mom years and years and years ago, I'd say 28 years ago, I was struggling. I knew I didn't want to discipline my children the exact same way that I did before. I found positive discipline 28 years ago. Then, I decided I wanted to start teaching it. Currently, I have two children who are 28 and 25 and two stepchildren who are 28 and 26 and I live in Greenville, South Carolina. Susan Stone: Thank you, Kelly. That's a great introduction. Dodie? Dodie Blomberg: So, I'm Dodie Blomberg and I started my career as a classroom teacher and I had a really hard first year. I didn't have the tools and skills I needed to manage really tough fifth graders. They're tougher than they seem. A few years in, a friend said, “Hey, take this training.” It's positive discipline in the classroom. I thought it was so amazing. It gave me tools that I just didn't even know existed to grow kids' skills and to grow my own skills with social, emotional, relationships, communication. I didn't even know that was out there. Then a few years later, I got married and had two kids. Then I learned you can use this on with your own children. Of course, everyone knew that. I just took a little time to figure that out. Then, like Kelly, I love this work. I got trained. I've been practicing this work since 1995. I'm still learning. My children now are 26 and 23 and they're pretty good people. We have a good relationship and I just really think positive discipline has helped it along the way. Susan Stone: Well, I would like to share with our listening audience that, as you know, Kristina and I work with students every day and we get a lot of parenting questions when we have to advise parents on how to handle certain circumstances, such as it might sound, “Go on spring break when there's a pending tons of charges.” We realized early on that people were not asking us for legal questions but parenting questions and that lead us to want to learn more for our own business. I can share that Dodie and Kelly certified us in positive discipline. I've also seen a change not only on how we speak to our clients who are students, but my own family. So, I thank you for imparting your knowledge on us, but we'd like you guys to talk to our audience. Can you tell us what is positive discipline? Dodie Blomberg: So, positive discipline basically is a group of skills and tools that adults can use to help grow children's skills and tools like teaching respect, responsibility, communication, listening, problem solving, and more. And I don't know about all of you, but I didn't learn all of those growing up. Like my growing up was you obey adults. But then as a kid, what did I do when I was on my own and I had to solve problems? I didn't know how to do that. I just knew how to follow directions. So really, ideally, how do we teach our kids to think, to solve problems, to think through things so they become adults who know how to do that? Kelly, do you want to add on? Kelly Pfeiffer: I can just add one more thing. Traditional discipline generally focuses on getting rid of behaviors. So, we want them to go away. Those behaviors that are annoying or dangerous. Positive discipline instead focuses on adding to the child, helping them learn new skills and tools. So, I love to explain that difference, that we're not taking away until we add something because children are going to use the same tools that they have until they have new tools. So we need to… the focus is on teaching children these new life skills and tools [crosstalk] Susan Stone: How about an example, ladies? Dodie Blomberg: So, let's just start with little kids. Because I think little kids is just like, you could see the starting point and where you're going. So young children, they have harsh tools, right? You see kids in preschool. They're hitting. They're biting. They're grabbing. Those are the tools they know. It gets results quickly. Now we don't want our kids to have those… Use those tools long term so we need to replace them with the tools. So, we teach kids gentle hands, ask for the toy, take time to share, teeth are for chewing, not biting. Right? Like really teaching the tools we want so they know what to do. That's more helpful than hurtful tools as a beginning place. Kelly, can you add another one? Kelly Pfeiffer: One thing I remember Jane Nelson saying a lot is that when children make a mistake or have a misbehavior, that the parents tell the kids what happened, what caused it to happen, what they can do about it and what can they do in the future to prevent it. In a positive discipline, let's see a teenager gets a speeding ticket, we might lecture about it, tell them what they need to do. Then instead of positive discipline, we ask the teen, “Wow, what happened? Tell me what was going on. What do you think caused that to happen?” We're having to pause and wait for them to think and come up with answers. “Wow, what do you think you can do about this speeding ticket and what do you think you can do in the future about this?” Kristina Supler: Kelly I'm glad you brought up that example of teenagers and the speeding tickets because I was going to ask, is positive discipline geared more towards younger children? You talk about it's a philosophy designed to give parents and children really more tools to bring to problem solving, but it sounds like what you're saying is it can be used for children of all ages. Is that correct? Kelly Pfeiffer: It is. So, as a young child, I might only ask, “Wow, what happened?” if the child is three or four because they may not be able to process those questions. Then, when that same time gets to be six, maybe I'll ask, “Oh, what happened? What caused it to happen?” When they're older, I just add on the questions. By the time they're teenagers, we just added on more skills. We are inviting them to think about problem solving. So, it is for all ages and we do have to think about the child's developmental stage and age as to how we apply each tool. Dodie Blomberg: Kelly, can I add to that? The beauty of this is it becomes their own self-talk. Right? So when they end up with a challenge or a difficulty, instead of saying, “Oh my gosh, I'm in trouble. Don't let mom or dad learn.” The self-talk might be, “Oh my gosh, what happened? What did I do? What do I need to do? How can I get help? How do I solve this?” They get a new self-talk that helps them solve the problem instead of just being afraid of getting in trouble. Susan Stone: How's it different than logical consequences? Dodie Blomberg: I personally think logical consequences can be challenging. Most of us use them because that's what we're raised with. But often people use logical consequences as punishment. Let's think of a punishment that'll match this issue. The child is driving badly with their car and taking the keys away. Driving badly, take the keys away. That would be a logical consequence. Now that could also be a solution. It could be. If you sit down and have a good talk through conversation with your child and find out what their reasons were. Who was in the car? What made you drive quickly? Maybe underneath, you find out it has to do with that friend in the car who's always telling him to hit the accelerator. So, maybe a better solution is that friend can't drive with you. You can still drive the car to school, but you can't have that friend in the car. That might be a better solution. Kelly, ideas on logical consequences? Kelly Pfeiffer: One thing I want to add is if you're just trying to cause blame, shame and pain with your logical consequence, that's probably you're just trying to punish and then disguise it as a logical consequence. So to change the mindset to a positive discipline mindset is to focus on solutions because we can't change the past. We can only change what happens in the future and to focus on really what might be helpful because if we're just using blanket consequences, they might not be helpful at all in solving the problem. But just like you said, Dodie, drilling down to, “Oh, it's the friend. Oh, then let's focus our solution on- Susan Stone: Right skills. Kristina Supler: So Kelly, a question I have is when you're talking about having a conversation to think things through, analyze what happened, and arrive at solutions, how is that conversation and looking for solutions different from not imposing any discipline at all in the child? Kelly Pfeiffer: Oh yes. So lots of people think if you're not punishing or giving consequences, then you're being permissive and we're definitely not recommending permissive parenting at all. So, the solution-focused conversation is joint problem solving and also teaching skills for the future. So, if there wasn't a conversation at all and people just forgot about it and said, “Oh, don't do that again, honey.” We might call that permissive parenting because the parent is not addressing the problem. Another piece of this is timing to address the problem because right when the parents find out about a ticket or an accident in a car accident, the parents might be really upset. And the teen's probably really upset and that is not the time to have the conversation. So another piece of having this conversation is to wait until people have calmed down, everyone is calmed down so that you can focus on solutions. Dodie, anymore about permissive parenting for me. What's going on with [inaudible] Dodie Blomberg: Yeah. The other thought I have is permissive parenting. The weight of the problem never sits in the child's lap or the teenagers lap. The parent holds the weight when you're going to, and now you're going to, and now the situation is and the parents is holding all the weight of the problem, right? The situation that happened. Ideally, you'd let the situation just sit in your teenager's lap and you're going to talk about how they're going to solve it. Let's talk through the ways you can fix this problem because it's your problem. Do you feel the weight of the problem? Does that make sense? Kristina Supler: Yeah and actually I am just… In your experience teaching this view of discipline over the many years that you've done. So I would imagine when parents engage in joint problem solving, does that help achieve more… I don't know, I guess what some might call buy-in from the child? To help be invested in the solution versus just feeling like I have to do this because my mother is making me. Dodie Blomberg: Yeah. I want to add that. What often happens when we use punishment or quote consequences, it ends up being a wrestling match between us and the kids. Well, my parents and now I have to it's my parents' fault. Like all of a sudden, it's not the problem that happened. It's all about the parent. They're angry at the parent. So ideally, the problem would sit there and they kind of think of it as a visual, like sometimes we feel like we're opposite our child and we're wrestling with this problem back and forth. It said definitely setting the problem in their lap and then sitting next to them and you're both looking at this problem like, “Ugh, [crosstalk] that's a big problem.” Susan Stone: Team. I think that's the thing. We're on the same team. I'm with you. Let's get to the root behind these issues. Is there a psychological foundation of what's behind misbehavior? Dodie Blomberg: Well, according to positive discipline, Rudolph Dreikurs came up with four main reasons people misbehave. If we back up even farther, all human beings want belonging and significance. If we think about that for ourselves, we all kind of know that. We like when we belong somewhere. We like when we matter somewhere, peer pressure, all of that, it has to do with belonging and significance. Besides being tired, hungry, or sick, right? The main four reasons people misbehave is they want attention, or they want power or they're feeling hurt so they do revenge or they feel so disconnected. They feel inadequate so they almost give up. So, there's kind of this range, it's attention and then power and then I don't have any connection, revenge, and then just kind of give up. You could almost see most misbehavior fall into those four categories for adults and children, like human beings. Kristina Supler: That's so interesting that the same tenants hold true for someone, regardless of whether they're five years old or 45 years old. Those root causes drive certain decisions and behavior. Susan Stone: Yeah. We all want to be loved. Is that the foundation at the end of the day? [crosstalk] I see by smiling, but our listeners can't see you. So I just wanted to say everybody's smiling and I hope you, listeners, are, too. Dodie Blomberg: What we find is when people feel like they belong, they behave better. Our behavior is better. When we don't feel like we belong, we can kind of misbehave and create mischief. Right? Kristina Supler: Kelly, a question I'm wondering for you, Susan and I and our law practice, we represent students of all ages across the country who are confronted with a variety of legal issues. Part of the group of students we serve in particular are children with special needs. So, if you could speak to, particularly for our parents or listeners out there with children who have special needs, does this approach work for that population? How might you be able to adapt it or apply it? Susan Stone: Right question Kristina. Kelly Pfeiffer: So it does because even children with special needs have that primary goal of belonging and significance, but their idea of how to belong and feel significant may look slightly different. We may have to do a little bit more detective work to see, “Oh, they do want attention.” or “They are trying but they have some skill deficits that we're just not aware of. That's why the behavior ends up looking like this.” So, the positive discipline are trying to look at the goal or mistaken goal behind the behavior and for special needs children, it may take a little bit of extra work and getting into their world. That can be challenging if they have communication deficits. Sometimes we're making guesses at first, as we're trying to solve problems with our children or figure out what their mistaken goal is. When they can communicate well and they're older, we can ask them and possibly get some information. But when they're young and don't have language skills or they have language barriers because of the special need, if yes, it gets challenging, but these same principles are still all apply. There's actually a book Positive Discipline for Children with Special Needs that parents may want to check into or listened to. I think there's an audio version as well. Kristina Supler: That's wonderful. Susan Stone: Right. Came to appreciate. While Kristina and I were going through the training and I don't… Kristina, you want to know if you feel the same way is that there was a lot of subtlety to concepts that we think we know as appearance, that there are differences. And one of the refined differences between traditional parenting and positive discipline is the concept of encouragement versus- Kristina Supler: Right. [crosstalk] Susan, I'm so glad you brought that up because it was only through this class and the training that we did with Kelly and Dodie that I realized some of the… how I am guilty of sort of doling out praise versus encouragement. Though related, they are in fact very different concepts that ultimately foster difference, resiliency, and life skills. Dodie, can you tell us a little bit more about the subtle difference between encouragement and praise and why it's so important for parents to understand the difference between the two concepts? Dodie Blomberg: So I appreciate you bringing that up. As a teacher, I started out my career praising and I'm really good at praise. I still have to keep my eye on it. So, praise is about the giver. It's about me, so “I think you did a good job. Oh, you look so pretty. What a nice painting.” Susan Stone: Yawty, I'm a praiser. Dodie Blomberg: [crosstalk] I get it. It can be really challenging and it's, “I think you did a good job.” or “I like what you did or you didn't like I told you.” It's really a reflection of my judgment and it's not bad, but it's not that helpful. When we only use praise, our children become pleasers and are always looking for praise so they do something and they look, “Is this good, Mom? Did I do it right, Dad? Is this right?” If they don't like you, they don't give a flip if you like their work or not. It's almost like the flip side of it, right? Kristina Supler: [crosstalk] for those teenage years. Dodie Blomberg: If you feel hurt, “Uh, forget it. I don't care what you think.” Right? Where encouragement is more about noticing people's forward motion. So, I noticed you got started on your homework. I noticed you made your bed without being asked. I noticed you filled the tank with gas. Thank you for that. Nothing big, like hurray, super great, like just acknowledging what people do. That's a forward motion. It's powerful. You can start with, I noticed, I appreciate, or I have faith. Those are lovely sentence starters and noticing people's forward motion. The other thing is you can use praise when people are successful, but when people make mistakes or aren't successful, you can't use praise, but you can still use encouragement. Right? So if your child comes home with a failing test, but you saw them study for it, right? You saw them. You can still use encouragement and say, “Oh my gosh, I saw you study so hard yesterday.” And you can even ask a curiosity question. “So can you take the test again? Are you able to figure out what you did wrong so we can practice some more.” Right? So you can still use encouragement and curiosity and still help our child feel better. Susan Stone: It's more genuine. Kristina Supler: Kelly, Dodie used a phrase or reference that concept curiosity question. What's that? Can you tell us more about a curiosity question? Kelly Pfeiffer: So generally a curiosity question begins with the words what or how. What's going on for you? Or what were you thinking in that moment? How would you like to solve this problem? Just being genuinely curious and I caution parents, don't ask a curiosity question if you're not really interested in listening to the answer. So some people might say, “I'm going to ask a curiosity question. How are you going to solve this problem by tomorrow at eight o'clock?” Dodie Blomberg: Or what were you thinking? Susan Stone: I know that is not helpful. We have so much to ask you. Let me deal with a lot of mental health issues in our practice and especially the past year or so. Maybe even before, Kristina and I were seeing an increase in depression and anxiety, both in our student population and in the adults that we represent, does this method work with individuals who are experiencing mental health challenges? Dodie Blomberg: So I think this work is encouraging work and what comes up for me is one of the things we talk about is connection. We all need connection. As like this last year and a half, we need connection more than ever. So, how do we stay deeply connected with people, even if they're depressed, even if they're having challenges, like making sure our children and our friends know that we are here, we've got them now, it may not solve any problem. But knowing that somebody has your back and is tightly connected to you can really help people feel a little better. Susan Stone: Kelly, can you give an example of how you would convey that to someone who's so anxious that they're having panic attacks and maybe don't want to do something because they're so whipped up into anxiety? Kristina Supler: Right. I have, I mean, we're getting into back to school season so for teens or children of any age who are anxious about the return to school and what the new school year is going to hold. How would you help foster connection and encouragement in the child who's just super anxious about returning to the classroom? Kelly Pfeiffer: One of our parenting tools and teacher tools is connection before correction. So, first we might acknowledge the feelings or validate the feelings that the child is having. Many times parents want to say, “Oh, it'll be fine.” and that is not acknowledging that the child's feelings, the students' feelings are real and valid. So when we might start with, oh, you're feeling anxious about blank, blank, blank, whatever the child has said. So, that is a connection piece first, and then listening to what the child says. So, listening is a connection tool, as well as validating feelings. Then after you think that the child has said everything, normally, I would notice that the child gets calm just being able to voice it because in self-regulation one of the essential skills that even preschoolers can do is just to name the feeling they're having. When we name the feeling Daniel Siegel system, Name It to Tame It. Naming the feelings help [inaudible] Susan Stone: Name it to tame it. Kelly Pfeiffer: Yeah. Susan Stone: I'm writing that down. Kelly Pfeiffer: That is the first step to self-regulation is naming the feeling that you're having. Then another tool that we teach is positive timeout. That means how can each person use tools to calm down either in the moment, or they might have to step away to go. I've told my kids if you ever need, if you're at school and you're stressed, just ask to go to the bathroom. Go to the bathroom, calm down. If that's what you need, it's a quiet space or try to do things in your own head. But one of our breakdown tools is positive timeout. Each person finding small tools they can use both while they're with people or if they need to step away and take deep breaths, count to 10, say three sentences about gratitude, what they're thankful for, whatever works for them, but it's a coping skills that are taught for anxiety or stress in positive discipline. It's really individual. Notice what your own body does to tell you that your stress and then use other tools, say name it to tame it and then calm down. Susan Stone: That was very powerful. Thank you so much. Kristina Supler: Ladies, thank you so much for joining us today, Kelly, Dodie. We really appreciate the wonderful wealth of information you've provided to our listeners and we encourage our listeners to learn more about positive discipline. Check out the information on the web and thank you all for listening to real talk with Susan Stone and Kristina Supler. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it. And please don't forget to subscribe to our podcast for more resources. Visit us online at studentdefense.kjk.com.
Dance/Movement Therapy is a psychotherapy technique that uses movement to improve an individual’s health and well-being by allowing the patient to bring awareness to the body and the effects that mental, emotional and social factors have on the physical experiences in the body. Don’t be fooled by the name, though. Dance Therapy is not about large, expressive movements or learning a dance routine as we find out from our expert and Board Certified - Dance/Movement Therapist, Jessica Knochel. In this episode, Jessica helps us to understand what Dance Therapy is, how it is helpful to individuals, and how it may be a better option for those not interested in traditional “talk therapy.” She walks us through what someone will experience in a session as she works with Nicole on her recurring shoulder pain during the interview. In the “You Want Me To Do What??” section, Nicole and Shanna talk about their misconceptions about Dance Therapy and what they appreciate about the subtlety of the modality. Nicole gives more insight into her mini-session with Jessica from the interview and how that felt in her body. Episode Recap: Interview with Jessica Knochel - 1:32 , “You Want Me To Do What??” section - 45:42 Highlights: Dance/Movement Therapy does not look like the traditional idea of dance or movement. For example, stillness is very much part of the process. A Dance/Movement Therapist is trained to use their body as the instrument to attune, witness and reflect what is coming up for the patient in the session. Dance Therapy helps a patient feel seen without needing to have the exact words to describe what they are thinking or experiencing. Dance Therapy is the container for the patient’s process of being present in their body and being aware of what is coming up/expressing in their body. Jessica finds that a majority of her patients have come to Dance/Movement Therapy when they are tired with the coping mechanisms that their bodies have relied on. Dance Therapists use words and questions to help inform the patient as to how they are feeling/getting into their body. Mirroring is a Dance Therapy technique. Name It to Tame It -- bring awareness to what’s going on to reduce the fear/tension around it. A Dance Therapist figures out how to create a safe space for the patient so the patient can feel safe to get into their bodies and feel safe in their bodies. It’s more socially acceptable to be in our heads and overthink than it is to trust what our bodies are telling us. Resources: Where to find Jessica Knochel: Instagram: @matriarchymovement
Human beings are meant to be social. Our biological, psychological, and social systems have evolved to thrive in collaborative networks of people. However, as people grow older, their social networks tend to thin leading in many cases to isolation and loneliness which have become a major source of public health concerns. In today's episode, Nicola and Olivia address loneliness and social isolation. They review evidence that social isolation affects health and mortality, whether or not the isolation is accompanied by subjective loneliness. In a nutshell, you'll learn: The correlation between loneliness and social isolation. The mental and physical consequences of loneliness How to use the ‘Name it to Tame It' strategy when approaching the conversation about loneliness and social isolation and so much more! Check out the SR Law Group: Website: www.srlawgrp.com LinkedIn: SR Law Group Instagram: @srlawgrp Facebook: SR Law Group Tweeter: @srlawgrp Let's continue the conversation in our Free Facebook group!: Black Parents Aging Connect with Nicola: LinkedIn: Nicola Robinson Connect with Olivia: LinkedIn: Olivia Smith
Join Todd as he takes another look at a thought or thoughts that just won't go away and offers a process you can use to identify that thought and name it to tame it. Starts off with a grounding presence mindfulness practice, introduces a thought spotting technique, then plays around with a new way to relate to these types of thoughts. Trend of the Week: "I Can't Seem to Get Away From This Thought" Skills and Tools: Awareness: Inhale on Three Openness: Is This Thought Helpful? Engaged: Name it to Tame It
Taking a few deep breaths or counting to 10 can help us pump the breaks on our stress temporarily, but the tornado of angry or anxious thoughts in our heads is going to hit the gas pedal again unless we can "get it out." This week, Ry, Courtney, and Nic talk about how to hit that pressure release and experience the relief that comes with saying or writing down what you're thinking and feeling. (1:15) "What's filling our buckets?" segment. (3:45) Intro. to topic. (7:30) "Name it to tame it" with the Mood Meter app. (13:00) "Talking it out" with a caring listener. (18:00) "Writing it out" with a journal or notes app. (19:30) Takeaways. Tools we talk about: Mood Meter app, "Name It to Tame It" page on SEL website, Crisis talk/text services + local mental health providers
I am angry vs. I feel angry are two totally different things. The first, I AM, is self-defining. The second, I FEEL, is the ability to recognize, acknowledge, and name a feeling without being consumed by it.How often do we say, "I am sad?" This statement when said over and over becomes identifying of the SELF rather than the state of feeling.How can we change this thinking? What can we do?This week's episode of PTSD and Beyond, I share with listeners a personal struggle with anger...and how I'm beginning a new form of healing starting with Dan Siegel's Name It to Tame It. The next weeks (or whatever time it takes to work though anger), I openly share this journey because I know there's others who struggle with anger too. I made a promise to myself as well as to you...my kids...friends and loved ones...it's gonna be hard but I know I'm not alone and neither are you.Listen. Share. Download. Subscribe.
Dr. Shauna Shapiro Shauna Shapiro is a professor at Santa Clara University, best-selling author, and internationally recognized expert in mindfulness and compassion. Dr. Shapiro has published over 150 journal articles and co-authored three critically acclaimed books translated into 16 languages, including her most recent book: Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire the Brain for Calm Clarity and Joy. She has been an invited speaker for the King of Thailand, the Danish Government, Bhutan’s Gross National Happiness Summit, the Canadian Government, and the World Council for Psychotherapy, as well as for Fortune 100 Companies including Google, Cisco Systems, Proctor & Gamble, and LinkedIn. The New York Times, BBC, Mashable, the Huffington Post, Wired, USA Today, and the Wall Street Journal have all featured her work, and over 1.5 million people have watched her TEDx talk The Power of Mindfulness. Dr. Shapiro is asumma cum laude graduate of Duke University and a Fellow of the Mind and Life Institute, co-founded by the Dalai Lama. More information can be found at drshaunashapiro.com, TEDx talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeblJdB2-VoGood Morning, I Love Youhttp://bit.ly/GoodMorningILoveYou Show Notes Episode 14: The Self-Compassion of Mindfulness IntroductionMindfulness Health Benefits of Mindfulness The Practice of Setting Intention “Intention is a direction it’s not a destination.”“If you’re thinking about really painful and difficult thoughts all the time, that’s your experience. If you are focusing on gratitude and beauty that’s your experience.” How to be present with emotions-“Name it to Tame It.” “It’s not that we should neglect our pain, but we need to learn how to be with it in a different way.” Self-Compassion-The most powerful antidote to healing shame, our greatest internal ally. “You’re not practicing mindfulness, your practicing judgement, impatience and frustration.” Self-Compassion vs. Self-Esteem New information on Happiness Set Point Authentic living-attention is authentic Practicing kindness to yourself-Good morning I love you. Prime the brain for looking for the good in life!“Your future is spotless.”
In this episode of the Yoga In My School podcast guest Carla Tantillo Philibert of Mindful Practices delves into SEL and the essential practice of POP (Pause, Observe, Practice). We chat about self care for nurturers, the importance of small acts of compassion, and round out our discussion with questions we need to consider as we explore re-entry.Highlights:2:06 Welcome Carla Tantillo Philibert3:14 SEL explained6:02 How to cultivate awareness, the importance of practices8:50 Living the Covid Reality - the Tulip story11:23 Mindfulness and emotional awareness tools16:54 Window of Tolerance, Name It to Tame It pros and cons20:09 Self Care for Nurturers - Kudos to Front Line Workers, Mother's Day24:20 Power of written words and small acts of compassion28:50 Re-entry and Recovery32:32 Recovery and Return Plans - scenarios & conversations36:46 Trauma Informed Lens for Re-entry41:17 Support for everyone43:00 How to reach Carla, bulk discounts for schoolsConnect with Carla Tantillo PhilibertMindful Practices https://mindfulpractices.us/Access Class Catalyst https://classcatalyst.com/Find Donna Freeman on Patreonhttps://patreon.com/donnafreemanCONNECT with Yoga In My SchoolWeb https://yogainmyschool.comInstagram https://www.instagram.com/yogainmysch...Facebook https://www.facebook.com/YogaInMySchool/Twitter https://twitter.com/DonnaKFreemanSupport the show (https://yogainmyschool.com/?p=13405)
In this episode of the Yoga In My School podcast guest Carla Tantillo Philibert of Mindful Practices delves into SEL and the essential practice of POP (Pause, Observe, Practice). We chat about self care for nurturers, the importance of small acts of compassion, and round out our discussion with questions we need to consider as we explore re-entry.Highlights:2:06 Welcome Carla Tantillo Philibert3:14 SEL explained6:02 How to cultivate awareness, the importance of practices8:50 Living the Covid Reality - the Tulip story11:23 Mindfulness and emotional awareness tools16:54 Window of Tolerance, Name It to Tame It pros and cons20:09 Self Care for Nurturers - Kudos to Front Line Workers, Mother's Day24:20 Power of written words and small acts of compassion28:50 Re-entry and Recovery32:32 Recovery and Return Plans - scenarios & conversations36:46 Trauma Informed Lens for Re-entry41:17 Support for everyone43:00 How to reach Carla, bulk discounts for schoolsConnect with Carla Tantillo PhilibertMindful Practices https://mindfulpractices.us/Access Class Catalyst https://classcatalyst.com/Find Donna Freeman on Patreonhttps://patreon.com/donnafreemanCONNECT with Yoga In My SchoolWeb https://yogainmyschool.comInstagram https://www.instagram.com/yogainmysch...Facebook https://www.facebook.com/YogaInMySchool/Twitter https://twitter.com/DonnaKFreemanSupport the show (https://yogainmyschool.com/?p=13405)
In our last couple +1s, we’ve been having fun spending some time with former Navy SEAL Commander and perennial wolf-tamer, Mark Divine. Most recently, we named our Courage wolf, “Daimon” and our Fear wolf, “Demon.” (As Dan Siegel and other mindfulness neuroscientists would say: It’s always wise to “Name It to Tame It!”) I mentioned the fact that I made a note on a piece of paper to make sure I included this Idea in our Mastery Series session on How to Create Antifragile Confidence, Heroic Courage and Response-Ability. I had a bunch of other ideas already on that sheet of paper. You know what I had written RIGHT ABOVE “The Two Wolves | Name ‘Em!”? “Learned Helplessness vs. Learned Optimism.” The story I’ll tell for THAT wisdom is basically all about Martin Seligman’s research that we discuss in our Notes on Learned Optimism and in this +1 on How to Learn Optimism. The weird part? Recall Mark’s description of what happens when we constantly feed the fear wolf: “If you constantly feed fear by thinking about the could-haves, the should-haves, the would-haves, and the can’ts in life—if you allow negative beliefs, attitudes, and conditioned behavior from whatever drama you experienced or stories you adopted—then the fear wolf gets stronger. Eventually he gets so strong that the courage wolf is left cowering, unable to fight back.” That’s almost a precise description of the “Learned Helplessness” state Seligman induces in his experiments. The (very!) good news? We can Learn Optimism. How? Well, that’s pretty much what we’re doing every day with these +1s and why we show up EVERY DAY. One more time: Let’s feed the Daimon-Courage Wolf. TODAY.
In our last couple +1s, we’ve been having fun spending some time with former Navy SEAL Commander and perennial wolf-tamer, Mark Divine. Most recently, we named our Courage wolf, “Daimon” and our Fear wolf, “Demon.” (As Dan Siegel and other mindfulness neuroscientists would say: It’s always wise to “Name It to Tame It!”) I mentioned the fact that I made a note on a piece of paper to make sure I included this Idea in our Mastery Series session on How to Create Antifragile Confidence, Heroic Courage and Response-Ability. I had a bunch of other ideas already on that sheet of paper. You know what I had written RIGHT ABOVE “The Two Wolves | Name ‘Em!”? “Learned Helplessness vs. Learned Optimism.” The story I’ll tell for THAT wisdom is basically all about Martin Seligman’s research that we discuss in our Notes on Learned Optimism and in this +1 on How to Learn Optimism. The weird part? Recall Mark’s description of what happens when we constantly feed the fear wolf: “If you constantly feed fear by thinking about the could-haves, the should-haves, the would-haves, and the can’ts in life—if you allow negative beliefs, attitudes, and conditioned behavior from whatever drama you experienced or stories you adopted—then the fear wolf gets stronger. Eventually he gets so strong that the courage wolf is left cowering, unable to fight back.” That’s almost a precise description of the “Learned Helplessness” state Seligman induces in his experiments. The (very!) good news? We can Learn Optimism. How? Well, that’s pretty much what we’re doing every day with these +1s and why we show up EVERY DAY. One more time: Let’s feed the Daimon-Courage Wolf. TODAY.
In this episode of the Startup Selling Podcast, I interviewed former CEO of Osmo Systems, Zach Stein. Zach is an entrepreneur living in Oakland, California. He was previously the CEO of Osmo Systems, a hardware startup building AI-driven solutions for aquaculture (fish and shrimp farms), and now he and his co-founder are working to launch a new project that focuses on combatting climate change. I first met Zach through the Highway1 Accelerator Program – he was a participant and I was one of his mentors. About a year later when Zach and his team were starting their go-to-market work, he became a client in our Startup Selling Coaching Program. Some of the topics that Zach and I discussed in this episode are: His journey as an entrepreneur and what led him to work on environmental challenges. Decision-making processes based on identifying a lack of clarity, weaknesses, and pain in the business operations. Using “Name it to Tame It” – a psychological process to articulate a problem and identify potential solutions. How to use questions to orient a decision-making process. Creating a clear set of rules for your team focus and daily activities. “Say it out loud” – sharing your idea with your team and have them reflect what you just said to their understanding. This creates clarity to prevent ambiguity. How can rulemaking allow you to avoid decision-making fatigue. Links and resources: Highway1 Hardware Accelerator Program: highway1.io [book] Principles: Life and Work by Ray Dalio www.amazon.com/Principles-Life-Work-Ray-Dalio/dp/1501124021 [book] The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: An Illustrated Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni www.amazon.com/dp/0787960756 [book] The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else In Business by Patrick Lencioni www.amazon.com/Advantage-Organizational-Health-Everything-Business/dp/0470941529 Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist & developer of “Name it to Tame It.” [book] The Whole-Brain Child www.drdansiegel.com/books/the_whole_brain_child/2 [Blog post] An Entrepreneur’s Lessons Learned scottsambucci.blogspot.com/2008/08/lessons-learned-confessions-of.html Listen & subscribe to The Startup Selling Show here: Stitcher | Spotify | iTunes | Soundcloud | SalesQualia.com Thanks so much for listening! Tell a friend or ten about The Startup Selling Show, and please leave a review wherever you’re listening to the show.
Stew Smith - http://www.stewsmithfitness.com and Pat Bonis discuss the part of the brain that deals with processing stimuli that comes in from all areas. Think instructor feedback, cold, sandy, wet, miserable pain feedback, and performance feedback that is not to standard - all are forms of stress on the mind and body and how you handle matters to your success. Pick up a few tips. Things to consider: Power of the Mind - https://www.military.com/military-fitness/navy-special-operations/mentally-tough-power-of-mind-in-spec-ops-training Mind and Body Connection - https://www.military.com/military-fitness/health/the-mind-and-body-connection Name it and Tame It - https://www.military.com/military-fitness/general-fitness/plateaus-slumps-and-dealing-with-stress-and-anxiety Check out other videos of combat swimmer stroke, workouts, and other spec ops related training. See http://www.stewsmith.com for more information about military, law enforcement, special ops, fire fighting training programs.
TODAY’S MESSAGE PSALM 37:4-6 TPT Make God the utmost delight and pleasure of your life, and HE WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU WHAT YOU DESIRE THE MOST. 5 Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust him along the way YOU’LL FIND HE PULLED IT OFF PERFECTLY! 6… He will manifest AS YOUR JUSTICE, as sure and strong as the noonday sun. QUESTION At the end of the holidays, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAVE EXPERIENCED, or how do you want to have benefited? PRINCIPLE Expenditures/gifts should HONOR the joy in relationships, not BE the joy in relationships. Gifts CELEBRATE relationships, not FIX relationships! FACT WHERE DOES STRESS COME FROM? Stress is rooted in our desire to control something or someone! _______________ PATH TO BEING STRESS FREE 1. SELF AWARENESS – ATTUNEMENT PSALM 77:6 KJV [Asaph said in a time of deep distress] … COMMUNE with MINE OWN HEART: and my SPIRIT made DILIGENT SEARCH. PRINCIPLE You cannot CHANGE, or FEEL DIFFERENTLY about, what you DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE. You have to NAME IT to TAME IT! PRINCIPLE Often we AREN’T BATTLING the OTHER PERSON, but our own WOUND-BASED NARRATIVE. SELF-QUESTION #1 - “What does this person, group, event or environment DO TO ME?” SELF-QUESTION #2 - “How long does it take me TO GET BACK TO ZERO after I have been with this person, group, event or environment?” SELF-QUESTION #3 - “What JUSTIFICATIONS do I wrestle with?” SELF-QUESTION #4 - “Why do I KEEP THINKING about this? Why do I get DYSREGULATED EMOTIONALLY with this?” SELF-QUESTION #5 - “Is this GOOD STEWARDSHIP of my energies?” _______________ 2. DIFFERENTIATION – BOUNDARIES DEFINITION BOUNDARIES, in a broad sense, are the lines or things that mark a LIMIT, BOUND, or BORDER. Boundaries are the realization of our own person apart from others. This sense of separateness forms the basis of personal identity. PRINCIPLE GROWTH in BOUNDARIES means growth in… EMOTIONAL Intelligence SOCIAL Intelligence _______________ 3. LOVE – GENEROSITY OF HEART COLOSSIANS 3:12-14 TPT … Be MERCIFUL as you endeavor to UNDERSTAND OTHERS, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. 13 TOLERATE THE WEAKNESSES of those in the family of faith, FORGIVING one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. … 14 For LOVE IS SUPREME and MUST FLOW THROUGH each of these VIRTUES. Love becomes the mark of TRUE MATURITY. HOW TO STAY HAPPY! REMEMBER WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT: LOVE is the answer to HAPPY HOLIDAYS! _______________ CALL TO ACTION What is your ONE NEXT STEP that you need to take? Begin soothing/spiritual/self-care exercises Invite safe family/friends into your stress Decide in advance what you want each event experience to be Prepare to limit exposure to dysregulating experiences Take the Science of Freedom Workshop to understand yourself Trigger the energy of love generously flowing from the heart
Athletes sometimes are afraid of the unknown. When an athlete feels fear, sometimes they will try to push that feeling away. Doing this actually increases the fear and creates a fear of fear. The intense fear can actually cause athletes to feel out of control. In this episode, we talk about Dr. Siegel's idea of Name It to Tame It. We add something to his brilliant idea to help athletes have a quick tool to feel in control of intense emotions.
The Center for Medical Simulation Presents: DJ Simulationistas... 'Sup?
Greetings from flu-ridden Boston! We managed to roll out of our sick-beds to bring you this miniature episode. "Name It to Tame It" is a strategy for soothing upset emotions, solving team friction, and otherwise defusing a debriefing in danger of going off the rails. In this episode, Dan & Janice interview Stephanie Barwick of Mater Education in Brisbane, Australia, a sim educator who has some expert insight into how to use "Name It to Tame It" in your own practice. Enjoy!
Our greatest successes can burn like embers in the ashes of our failures, provided that we better understand what led to the failure in the first place. Personal development is something that everyone should take the time to do, but it’s not always easy when our emotions run the show. Mark Youngblood, Founder and CEO of Inner Mastery, Inc., tells us about his journey to master his emotions. Mark also introduces his new book, Dear Human, Master Your Emotions, which can serve as a guide to find balance in your life. Learn how to effectively manage your emotional state. [00:00:00] Unlock Higher Emotional Intelligence Today [00:05:32] Take Control of 'Black Sheep Emotions' [00:11:30] Employees in a bad mood? You may be to blame! [00:18:21] Emotions Are Messengers That Must Be Dealt With [00:26:24] Master ‘Autopilot Reaction’, Improve Self-awareness [00:33:21] Tools to Tame It, Name It, and Reframe It
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