Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast: the Self-Love Podcast for Women

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Mary Jelkovsky is the founder of Mary’s Cup of Tea, an online platform that helps thousands of women find self-love. After recovering from an eating disorder, Mary started her Instagram account @maryscupofteaa to help women heal body-image struggles and love themselves unconditionally. Now, Mary Jelkovsky is a published author, TEDx speaker, and women’s self-love retreat host. And Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast is the podcast that will inspire you to love yourself. On this self-love podcast show, Mary speaks with experts on topics surrounding self-love including body-image, confidence, self-worth, body positivity, mindset, mental health, feminism, and relationships. Along the way, Mary lets you in on her personal life, never shying away from the messy, raw, and real conversations that we all crave. So grab a cup of tea, slide in your headphones, and get ready to love yourself.

Mary Jelkovsky


    • Jun 5, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 40m AVG DURATION
    • 255 EPISODES

    4.9 from 604 ratings Listeners of Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast: the Self-Love Podcast for Women that love the show mention: found mary, thank you mary, self love journey, love mary, love listening to mary, love and self, helps so much, mary's, way i view, cup of tea, genuine person, close friend, body positivity, give her a listen, retreat, feel good podcast, self esteem, self confidence, body image, forest.


    Ivy Insights

    The Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast: the Self-Love Podcast for Women is an exceptional podcast that focuses on self-love and personal growth. Hosted by Mary, the podcast offers words of wisdom, advice, and inspiration to its listeners. Mary is kind and genuine, providing a soothing and calming presence throughout each episode. Her content is relatable and impactful, making it a truly valuable resource for anyone on their journey towards self-acceptance and self-love.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is Mary's ability to articulate her points clearly and effectively. She provides practical tips and actionable steps that listeners can take to improve their lives. Her episodes are well-structured and cover a range of topics related to self-love, body image, relationships, and personal growth. The mix of shorter episodes adds variety to the podcast and allows for quick boosts of confidence and motivation.

    Another positive aspect of this podcast is Mary's authenticity and honesty. She shares personal stories and experiences that make her advice even more relatable. Her passion for what she does shines through in every episode, making it evident that she genuinely cares about helping others on their journey towards self-love.

    The only potential downside to this podcast is that some episodes may not resonate with every listener. As with any self-help or personal growth resource, not every topic or piece of advice will apply to everyone's individual circumstances or preferences. However, the wide range of topics covered ensures that there is something valuable for everyone.

    In conclusion, The Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast: the Self-Love Podcast for Women is an incredible resource for anyone looking to improve their relationship with themselves and embrace self-love. Mary's genuine nature, practical advice, and soothing voice make this podcast a must-listen. Whether you're looking for inspiration, guidance, or a boost in confidence, this podcast has it all. Highly recommended!



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    Latest episodes from Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast: the Self-Love Podcast for Women

    Ep. 253: Small Acts of Self-Care That Help Nurture a Positive Mindset

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2025 27:38


    A personal solo episode where I (Mary) share my “small joys” i.e. little acts of self-care that have made a big difference. Each one has become a gentle anchor, a little nudge to remember who I am and what I need. And through them, I'm realizing how the act of keeping promises to myself—no matter how small—has become a declaration of self-worth.You will hear about... 6 teeny tiny self-care practices that have made a big difference in my mental healththe books I've been reading lately (including my unpopular opinion about The Women by Kristin Hannah)reflections on relationships and making new friendshow to cultivate a positive mindsetAt the core of this episode is the idea that keeping promises to yourself is a declaration of self-worth. Every time you follow through on taking care of yourself, you are signaling that you are WORTHY of the time, energy, money, and attention self-care demands.Tune in for a gentle invitation to remember that your life is YOURS to shape, nurture, and enjoy. A positive mindset could be just a small step away.Deepen your self-love journey with Mary's books:1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcastIf you're craving more conversations like this—about self-care, mental health, positive mindset, relationships, women's empowerment, and living in alignment with your authentic self—make sure to subscribe to this self-love podcast and leave a review. Your support helps this show reach more women and spread the gift of self-love.Mentioned In This Episode... Hilary Hahn performing J.S. Bach: Partita for Violin Solo No. 1 in B Minor, BWV 1002 - 4. Double (Presto)Ep. 243: How to Stay Hopeful, Joyful, and Soulful with Victoria Hutchins on Apple, Spotify, and YouTubeEp. 234: Finding Myself in the Unlikeliest of Places (Cuba) on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube

    Ep. 252: How to Feel Sexy in a Long-Term Relationship with Sexologist Shan Boodram

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2025 56:42


    Let's talk about SEX, baby! Shan Boodram, a renowned sexologist and relationship educator, joins our self-love podcast to share powerful insights on how to feel sexy and confident in a long-term relationship. We explore the nuances of body-image insecurities and relationship dynamics, as Shan delivers her no-nonsense advice on how to feel sexy.You will learn how to...navigate body-image insecurities in the bedroombring up your sexual needs, wants, desires, and concerns without killing the vibenavigate dry spells in a long-term relationshipchannel your sex appeal and feel sexy in your skinhow to handle mix matched desiresreignite the “spark” in your relationshipShan also answers some of the most common questions about sex and relationships, like:They say couples should have sex at least once a week. Is this true?Does scheduling sex kill the mood?Do men have a higher sex drive than women?If the spark is gone, does it mean the relationship is deteriorating?Whether you're committed, married, or want to be one day, this conversation is filled with female empowerment and relationship advice that will boost your confidence. Get ready to FEEL SEXY. Remember: A healthy long-term relationship gives you the freedom to be yourself. And THAT is sexy. Shan Boodram is an AASECT certified sex educator, an American Board of Sexology certified Sexologist, with a M.S. in psychology best known for her work on Netflix's Too Hot to Handle and as the host of Lovers by Shan Podcast. She has mainstream coverage across all major media networks including: The Today Show, ABC Good Morning America, The Talk, The Real, and The View. Boodram hosted The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, Hung Up from Headspace Studios, Makeup or Breakup on Watch, Sexology with Shan Boodram on Quibi and she co-hosted Ex-Rated with Andy Cohen on Peacock. Boodram is a best-selling author of, “The Game Of Desire" (HarperCollins, '19) acclaimed by TIME, Apple, Glamour & Refinery29. She's written for Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, CBC, Playboy and InStyle. Shan is part owner of Arya - a subscription service for couples, she is also Bumble's sex and relationship expert as well as a longstanding member of the National Coalition for Sexual Health. She recently released a class on MasterClass called The Art of Sex Appeal. Currently she lives in Los Angeles with her two daughters and husband Jared Brady. In the realm of modern intimacy and relationship education, Shan Boodram is not just a leader; she is a pioneer, constantly pushing boundaries since 2009 and inspiring millions to explore, understand, and celebrate the power of intimate connections. Follow Shan on Instagram @shanboodram Learn more about Shan's MasterClass here and her new jewelry line inspired by Kama Sutra And if you're enjoying this self-love podcast, screenshot this episode and share it on social media!Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @shanboodramMentioned In This Podcast... Taylor Tomlinson's “Do It Like Craig” bit

    Ep. 251: Delusional Mindset Shifts that Will Instantly Boost Your Confidence

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2025 37:08


    What if a little bit of delusion might be exactly what you need to boost your confidence? As the kids these days say: “being delulu is the solulu!”Mary shares 4 mindset shifts– that some might consider “delusional”– but will do wonders for your confidence. You will learn how to... - lie to yourself in an empowering way lol - stop comparing yourself to others with one very simple mindset shift - break free from external validation and derive your confidence from within - balance self-trust with consistent, confident action-taking - release perfectionism and believe in yourself Especially for women, embracing a positive mindset is often the first rebellion against a world that profits off of our self-doubt. This isn't about toxic positivity or lying to yourself in a way that's avoidant. It's about consciously choosing beliefs rooted in self-love that remind you that you are enough. Reclaim your self-esteem by choosing self-talk that inspires action and fuels your dreams, regardless of personal insecurities or cultural expectations. Remember: Confidence doesn't always have to be logical. It just has to set you free. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love! We love women empowering women! Deepen your self-love journey with Mary's books: 1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast Mentioned In This Episode: Ep. 212 How To Be Honest with Yourself How Often Do People Lie? University of Wisconsin article Ep. 246: The Breakup That Paved My Self-Love Journey @alok on Instagram Ep. 250: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion with Oliver Burkeman Useful Not True by Derek Sivers

    Ep. 250: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion: Overcome Overwhelm and Perfectionism with Oliver Burkeman

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2025 48:44


    Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your to‑do list? This episode is truly the best productivity advice you'll ever receive because it's built on a foundation of self-compassion. It's  Oliver Burkeman exposes why mainstream time management hacks fail and how accepting your human finitude liberates you to be meaningfully productive.You will learn how to...redefine productivity beyond endless to‑do listsditch hustle culture, but still do what matters mostapproach time management with self-acceptance and self-compassionunlock mental shifts that free you from perfectionism, anxiety, and overwhelmcare about the world's problems without succumbing to paralyzing despairRemember: One day, you will die with an unfinished to-do list. No amount of productivity hacks will avoid that. Let this truth liberate you to focus on what truly matters and approach your workload with self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love.OLIVER BURKEMAN is the acclaimed author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. His earlier works include The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking and HELP! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done. For years, he penned the Guardian column “This Column Will Change Your Life,” and his writing has been featured in the Observer, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychologies magazine, and New Philosopher. A former Brooklyn resident, Oliver now lives with his wife and son in England's North York Moors.Sign up for Oliver's newsletter, The Imperfectionist Please get yourself copies of Four Thousand Weeks and Meditations for Mortals!!And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcastMentioned In This Episode...Productivity for Self-Lovers, Ep. 125 on Mary's Cup of Tea PodcastElizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, LoveElizabeth Gilbert's book, CommittedResonance: A Sociology of Our Relationship to the World by Hartmut RosaNew York Times article on NoveltySlow Productivity by Cal NewportAre We Still Empathic if We Don't Take Action?

    Ep. 249: 5 Self-Love Shifts to Get Your Spark Back If You've Lost It

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2025 38:57


    Feeling stuck in a rut? Like you've lost your spark? You're not alone. Many women experience moments where motivation seems to slip through their fingers, leaving them questioning their worth and purpose.Using a balance of mindset shifts and practical advice, Mary will guide you to reigniting your sense of self-worth. Tune in to hear small self-love shifts will help you get your spark back.You will learn how to... - release perfectionism and stop fantasizing about an unrealistic version of perfection - build confidence that is NOT based on external validation - practice mindfulness to strengthen your self-love - lean into a spirit of self-discovery - incorporate small self-love habits into your life that can lead to significant shifts in mindsetRemember: No one can take away what's in your mind. Your mindset is always the one thing within your control. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love!Deepen your self-love journey with Mary's books:1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.This self-love podcast for women is here to help you love yourself. Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcastMentioned In This Episode... The Choice by Dr. Edith Eger Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl TikTok video with advice on how to get your spark back

    Ep. 248: Binge Eating Isn't Really About the Food with Nutritionist and Therapist Ryann Prentice

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2025 56:06


    If you've ever felt “out of control” around food—whether it's binge eating and/ or constantly feeling guilty when you eat—this episode will help you release any residual shame you might be carrying. Mary sits down with therapist + nutritionist Ryann Nicole to unpack why binge eating recovery is less about food and more about how we relate to it.You will learn... - a mantra for releasing food guilt- why binge eating is not really about the food itself- how to handle fear foods- how to recover from disordered eating if you're living with someone else and their foods can potentially trigger youYou'll also walk away with hope and encouragement for wherever you are in your eating disorder recovery journey.Ryann Nicole is a licensed therapist, certified nutritionist, and recovered binge eater. She's known for revolutionizing how people heal their relationship with food—not with more rules or rigidity, but with simplicity, self-trust, and a massive perspective shift. Her signature mantra, “You don't have to make it mean so much,” has become a lifeline for those learning to let go of shame, release perfectionism, and get back into living their life. Using her binge eating recovery story as the heart of her message and her clinical expertise as the backbone of her work, Ryann brings a refreshing, relatable voice to the wellness space, here to redefine what it means to live a healthy and fulfilling life.Follow Ryann on Instagram: @itsryannnicole Check out Ryann's courses and programs for binge eating recovery: https://itsryannnicole.com/coachingAnd if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @itsryannnicoleMentioned In This Episode... The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron Video of Ryann's toddler walking

    Ep. 247: Understanding Hidden Layers of Bulimia and Binge Eating with ED Psychologist Dr. Anita Johnston

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2025 43:44


    If you want to stop binge eating or recover from bulimia, then we must address the deeper emotional roots of disordered eating. Mary sits down for a Part 2 with eating disorder psychologist, Dr. Anita Johnston, author of Eating in the Light of the Moon. In Part 1, we talked about the spiritual side of eating disorder recovery. Now in part 2, we zoom into the emotional layer beneath bulimia and binge eating. Dr. Johnston sheds light on the deeper emotional roots of disordered eating, especially the often-overlooked role of repressed anger and how learning to process it can be the key to lasting recovery. You will learn about... - common personality traits of those who struggle with disordered eating - the role of ANGER in eating disorder recovery - the ONE skill you need to effectively process anger - how storytelling and metaphors can help us heal from an eating disorder - how to address emotional patterns that lie beneath bulimia and binge eatingDr. Johnston also shares how her very first psychology professor—THE Viktor Frankl, the author of Man's Search for Meaning—inspired her approach to eating disorder recovery. Remember: Eating disorders are not about food. So to recover, we must explore the deeper layers of our struggle. Get Dr. Anita's free Food Metaphor Guide here. Anita Johnston, Ph.D., is a Depth Psychologist, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, and author of Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationships with Food Through Myth, Metaphor, and Storytelling, which has been published in seven languages. A pioneer in the field, Dr. Johnston has been treating eating difficulties and body image distress for over 35 years. She has developed eating disorder programs nationally and internationally and currently serves as Founder & Executive Director of ‘Ai Pono Hawaii Eating Disorders Programs which has a Residential Program in Maui. She is the co-creator of the Light of the Moon Café, an online resource with interactive and self- study courses for women around the world. As a recognized international workshop presenter, Dr. Johnston lectures globally to professional organizations, conferences, universities, medical institutions, and the community at large and provides virtual consultations. She is best known for integrating metaphor and storytelling into her training as a clinical psychologist to explain the complex issues that underlie disordered eating behavior and other struggles with eating and body image. You can find Dr. Anita at https://dranitajohnston.com/ and follow Dr. Anita on Instagram: @dranitajohnston

    Ep. 246: The Breakup That Paved My Self-Love Journey

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2025 50:50


    This episode is my honest reflection on a breakup that happened 7 years ago—long before I met my husband. It was a relationship that was equal parts toxic and transformative for my self-love journey. It ended up breaking my heart and somehow healing it, too. I've shared bits and pieces over the years, but today I'm telling you my full breakup story—not just for the sake of storytelling, but to offer you insights into what healing really looks like, especially after a hard breakup. Tune in for a vulnerable chat + breakup advice.You will learn how to... - reclaim your identity after a toxic or codependent relationship - navigate the grey areas in relationships: where healing and hurt coexist - find strength in letting go of relationships that no longer serve you - embrace self-love through the pain of a breakup Remember: Healing is not about erasing the past—it's about choosing how to carry it forward. And—hint hint—this episode gives you a big clue about the location of my next self-love retreat… Join the retreat priority list to get early access to all the details! Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast Mentioned In This Episode... Martha Beck on The Mel Robbins Podcast

    Ep. 245: What to Say When a Kid Asks, “Am I Fat?” (And Other Tough Questions) with Zoë Bisbing, LCSW

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2025 54:51


    Let's talk about how to help kids build a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. Whether they're your own kids or perhaps your siblings/ nieces/ nephews/ students, then I'm sure you want to create a body positive environment for them. Psychotherapist Zoë Bisbing, MSW, LCSW is here to teach you HOW.You will learn... - what to say if a child asks, “Am I fat?” - how to approach conversations about healthy eating and weight loss in developmentally-appropriated ways - what if your kid has a real health condition? how should parents approach their child's food and weight then? - what to say to stop family members from commenting on your child's weight Remember: building a body positive home starts with your own mindset first. As a parent, it's important to heal your own beliefs about food, fat, weight, and health. Zoë Bisbing, MSW, LCSW is a licensed eating disorders therapist as well as a wonderful content creator. Zoë holds a Master of Social Work from New York University, a Bachelor of Arts from Smith College, and a certification in Family-Based Treatment from the Institute for Child and Adolescent Eating Disorders. She is the director of Body-Positive Therapy NYC and Body-Positive Home (formerly The Full Bloom Project), an educational resource offering workshops and body image workouts for the whole family. She loves teaching parents and professionals how to creatively build spaces where children of all ages, sizes, and gender expressions can naturally boost immunity to our appearance-obsessed culture and decrease risk for disordered eating and body image injury. Follow Zoë on Instagram: @mybodypositivehome Subscribe to her Substack for more body positive parenting advice. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @mybodypositivehome

    Ep. 244: The Gift of Self-Love Turns 4! Here's a Free Chapter

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 30:44


    Four years ago, The Gift of Self-Love was officially published—a journey that started with a little ebook and the sweetest surprise from someone who believed in me. In this episode, I'm sharing the full-circle story of how this book came to be, plus two big life lessons on support and long-term growth. And as a special treat, you'll get to hear the first part of the audiobook! If it resonates, consider getting your own copy—because self-love is a gift that keeps on giving. The Gift of Self-Love: a workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself  Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

    Ep. 243: How to stay hopeful, soulful, and joyful with Victoria Hutchins

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2025 76:30


    A special in-person conversation with Victoria Hutchins, a beloved poet, yoga teacher, and now author. CW: eating disorders and brief allusion to suicidal feelings. Victoria and Mary talk about… - A Little Life, a novel by Hanya Yanagihara - privilege, hustle culture, and mental health - mutual struggles with bulimia - thoughts on weight loss, Ozempic, and bariatric surgery - how nuance is disappearing from our culture - how to hold onto hope and harness joy Remember: make believe… make yourself believe in whatever makes you happy and hopefully, at the very least, believe in yourself. Victoria Hutchins, known as @thedailyvictorian on social media, is a beloved poet and yoga teacher with an online community of over 1.5 million followers. Prior to her current career, Victoria was an attorney at one of the largest law firms in the world and then at a publicly traded tech company. She holds a bachelor of arts from Columbia University and a juris doctorate from Vanderbilt University. Victoria is always seeking beauty, hope, and truth in the mess of life. Her debut poetry book, Make Believe, is an invitation for readers to join her in the search featuring nostalgic prose on returning to childlike joy, reconnecting with your body, and reclaiming a sense of optimism. Follow Victoria on Instagram: @thedailyvictorian Get Victoria's new poetry book, Make Believe Listen to Victoria's podcast, Soul Gum. And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryscupofteaa and @thedailyvictorian Mentioned In This Episode... A Little Life, a novel by Hanya Yanagihara

    Ep. 242: 10 Things ED Recovery Taught Me (Encore)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2025 51:44


    This episode is for my ED warriors. Let's reflect on lessons learned in eating disorder recovery and how this journey is a gateway to spiritual awakenings and deeper self-awareness. You will learn... - Mary's favorite mantras for getting through recovery and any hard times - Why chasing happiness is futile (and what to do instead) - How to stop beating yourself up and practice self-compassion Remember: This too, shall pass. Both the bad and the good. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love! Deepen your self-love journey with Mary's books: 1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. #2: How to Fall in Love with Yourself

    Ep. 241: How To Stop Comparing Your Current Self To Your Past Self

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2025 35:50


    Have you ever looked back at an old photo or memory and suddenly felt a pang of jealousy for your past self? Maybe you used to be more motivated, more social, more confident—or at least, that's the story your brain is telling you. In this episode, we're unpacking why we romanticize the past and compare ourselves to who we used to be. You will learn... - the different ways we compare our current selves to our past selves - the psychological reason behind this self-comparison - how sociocultural conditioning promotes competition and comparison - how to stop comparing yourself and embrace who you are now Remember: Your past self isn't better than you—she's just different. She has wisdom to offer you, just as you have wisdom to offer her. Allow all parts of yourself to sit at the table. Mentioned In This Episode... TED Talk: The Riddle of Experience vs. Memory by Daniel KahnemanThe Myth of Meritocracy Runs Deep in American History TED Talk: How to talk to the worst parts of yourself by Karen Faith Movie Recommendation: Midnight in Paris If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love! Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast Deepen your self-love journey with Mary's books: 1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

    Ep. 240: The Spiritual Side of Eating Disorder Recovery with Dr. Anita Johnston (Encore)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2025 60:30


    WOW!!! This episode is a must-listen, especially for those in eating disorder recovery or dealing with any kind of disordered eating. In just one hour, Dr. Anita will enlighten you with her wisdom, humor, and helpful tools for healing your relationship with food. You will learn... - how disordered eating can be healed through spiritual stories and metaphors - why an eating disorder is a unique type of addiction - the role of “power” in one's struggle with food - how to uncover symbolic meanings in food - why recovery is FUN! - how to find your hunger and fullness cues - and so. much. more. Remember: full recovery is possible (this is coming from a renowned psychologist who runs a residential treatment center and has helped thousands of people recover for good).Anita Johnston, Ph.D., is a Depth Psychologist, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, and author of Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationships with Food Through Myth, Metaphor, and Storytelling, which has been published in seven languages. A pioneer in the field, Dr. Johnston has been treating eating difficulties and body image distress for over 35 years. She has developed eating disorder programs nationally and internationally and currently serves as Founder & Executive Director of ‘Ai Pono Hawaii Eating Disorders Programs which has a Residential Program in Maui. She is the co-creator of the Light of the Moon Café, an online resource with interactive and self- study courses for women around the world. Get Dr. Anita's free Food Metaphor Guide here.And sign up for her Feminine Psyche course here.As a recognized international workshop presenter, Dr. Johnston lectures globally to professional organizations, conferences, universities, medical institutions, and the community at large and provides virtual consultations. She is best known for integrating metaphor and storytelling into her training as a clinical psychologist to explain the complex issues that underlie disordered eating behavior and other struggles with eating and body image. You can find Dr. Anita at https://dranitajohnston.com/ and follow Dr. Anita on Instagram: @dranitajohnston

    Ep. 239: My Unfiltered Opinions on Marriage, Dating, and Love

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2025 37:25


    Mary shares her candid thoughts on modern dating, relationships, marriage and how to approach romantic love with self-love. From the age-old debate about who should pay for the first date to the importance of embodying the qualities you seek in a partner, this episode is filled with honest reflections and thought-provoking insights. Mary challenges traditional relationship narratives, encourages self-reflection, and reminds us that love is not the only path to a fulfilling life.You will learn about...why the person who makes the invitation should pay for the date (and why this often falls on men)the unseen emotional and energetic labor women contribute to relationshipsthe importance of becoming the person you want to be withrethinking the idea that relationships must be hard workwhy love alone is not always enoughRemember: You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. Your feedback helps Mary's Cup of Tea reach more people who need these self-love reminders!Get Mary's self-love books:The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.Mentioned In This Episode...Ep. 231 talking neurodivergence and 2025 goals with my bestie Dahli DurleyEp. 219 of Mary's Cup of Tea: Should Your Partner Be Your Best Friend? with Rhaina CohenEp. 234: Reflecting on my trip to Cuba

    Ep. 238: The Art of Moving On… Breakup Advice with Kendra Allen

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2025 46:43


    If you've gone through a break-up recently, this episode is for you. We're talking with  breakup coach Kendra Allen to learn...how to cope with a situationship endingwhy going “no contact” is beneficial to a break-upways that break-ups are similar to addiction recoveryKendra Allen is a breakup coach, host of the Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast, author of The Breakup Workbook, and founder of Break Up Bestie. After going through a series of painful breakups, Kendra realized there was a huge gap online for practical and healthy heartbreak advice and she set out to fill it. She first launched the @yourbreakupbestie Instagram account in 2017. Since then, Kendra has helped hundreds of thousands of people recover from heartbreak through her blog, social media, coaching, and podcast. Kendra has been featured in Cosmopolitan, On Air with Ryan Seacrest, ABC News, and more.Follow Kendra on Instagram: @yourbreakupbestieLearn more about Kendra's breakup coursesAnd if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @yourbreakupbestie

    #238: The Art of Moving On… Breakup Advice with Kendra Allen

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2025 46:43


    If you've gone through a break-up recently, this episode is for you. And what better time to heal your heart post break-up than around Valentine's Day?Tune into this episode with breakup coach Kendra Allen to learn...- how to cope with a situationship ending-why going “no contact” is beneficial to a break-up- ways that break-ups are similar to addiction recoveryKendra Allen is a breakup coach, host of the Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast, author of The Breakup Workbook, and founder of Break Up Bestie. After going through a series of painful breakups, Kendra realized there was a huge gap online for practical and healthy heartbreak advice and she set out to fill it. She first launched the @yourbreakupbestie Instagram account in 2017. Since then, Kendra has helped hundreds of thousands of people recover from heartbreak through her blog, social media, coaching, and podcast. Kendra has been featured in Cosmopolitan, On Air with Ryan Seacrest, ABC News, and more. Follow Kendra on Instagram:@yourbreakupbestieLearn more aboutKendra's breakup coursesAnd if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @yourbreakupbestie

    #237: 7 Self-Love Lessons I'm Taking Into My 27th Birthday

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2025 50:06


    For her 27th birthday episode, Mary shares 7 lessons she's taking into her late-20s. Tune in for learnings on self-acceptance, self-awareness, confidence, joy and self-love as a whole. Hopefully these lessons will change your perspective on what it means to love yourself. You will learn about... the dual nature of self-love the surprising secret to discovering your strengths a powerful mindset shift that will help you embrace joy—even in the midst of struggle Remember: Self-love comes not from overcoming our insecurities, but rather from embracing them. We must be-friend our demons and invite all parts of ourselves to sit at the table. If you want to make Mary's birthday extra special, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. Your positive feedback is the best gift ever! Get Mary's self-love books: The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 150 of Mary's Cup of Tea: Hidden Meanings in Disordered Eating with Dr. Anita Johnston No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz

    #236: How To Make Adult Friendships Easier with Kat Vellos

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 38:13


    If making friends feels hard, then this episode is for you. You will learn... - why making friends as an adult feels hard - exactly WHERE you'll find your people - how to make friends who live close to you - actionable tips to help you find, keep, and strengthen your friendships Our guest, Kat Vellos, is a trusted expert on the power of cultivating meaningful friendships. She's a speaker and author of the book, We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. She's also the creator of the Better than Small Talk conversation cards and the Better Conversations Calendar. Her work helps people transform disconnection and platonic longing into authentic connection and belonging. In her former career as a user experience designer at Slack and Pandora, she helped millions of people find music they love and enjoy work a lot more. While working full-time at both of those iconic companies, Kat spent her free time researching and writing her debut book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. She couldn't stop herself from writing this book because the thirty-something friendship desert is real and she refused to take “how about we meet up in six weeks?” for an answer. So she used her UX research-n-design superpowers to explore the question “how might we design a better experience of adult friendship and simultaneously put a sizable dent in the loneliness epidemic?” Thousands of readers use her book to improve their friendships every day and her writing is read in over 100 countries. She's been interviewed by The New York Times, NPR, Communication Arts, The Good Life Project, and many more. Sign up for Kat's newsletter here and check out her course, Platonic Action Lab. And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast Mentioned In This Episode... How Long Til' Black Future Month? by N.K. JemisinEp. 195 on Mary's Cup of Tea: The Most Underrated EmotionWhat if friendship is easier than you think?

    #235: Dear Mary, my best friend is fatphobic

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2025 25:35


    (Trigger Warning: Talk of EDs & Fatphobia) Dear Mary, How do I navigate friendship with a very fatphobic and generally-judgmental friend? She is someone I met when I had anorexia. A lot of what we bonded over was the understanding of restrictive eating, because she had struggled with that as well. She is former military and has a lot of military influences to the way she views health and fitness, as well as having parents who engrained fatphobia into her. They would literally sit in the car outside grocery stores and make fun of fat people leaving(not to their faces). Her views and the vocalization of them hurt my soul, they are not an outlook on other people I have ever had, nor would want to have. She talks about these things pretty frequently. A lot of the things she says I would never want my younger sister hearing because I don't want those hurtful views in her head. I know you wonder, this person sounds awful, why do you have this friend? She is in many ways a wonderful person and a good friend. She is thoughtful, she and I just click in many ways, she is giving and loving to the people close to her, I could go on about qualities I love. But lately my feelings toward her are not good. I don't want to be around her because inevitably she will end up saying some things that really bum me out. I want her to be a lifelong friend, I want to be there for her for anything, I want to babysit her kids...but I would never want her views to be shared with mine. How do I talk to her about this? Though we challenge each other's views pretty often and are used to confrontation, she is not looking to change her mind on this. For months now I have been avoiding spending as much time around her. Neither of us have many other friends...she is a treasured person for me. What's your advice on keeping or losing a friend because of this? If you enjoyed this Dear Mary episode, share and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Get Mary's self-love books: The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

    #234: Finding Myself in the Unlikeliest of Places

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2025 40:49


    I went to Cuba knowing it wouldn't be a typical vacation, but I wasn't prepared for just how profoundly it would move me. To every question I asked my tour guide, the answer was almost always, “It's complicated.” They say you will leave Cuba with less answers and more questions— here are some of mine: How can something be equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming? Where is the boundary between suffering and resilience? How does history encapsulate both truth and fabrications? Why do we cling to binary thinking when life is a spectrum of endless complexities? How can humans be simultaneously broken and whole, like mosaics made of shattered multitudes? Cuba was a lesson in coexistence—where beauty and struggle, joy and pain live side by side. It reminded me that we, too, are complex and layered, yet capable of holding contradictions within us. I hope you get to experience this beautiful island one day too. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 126: Travel That Makes You a Better Person with Chelsea Glass, Founder of Heart of Travel Chen Lizra's TEDx talk: “The power of seduction in our everyday lives” Check out Heart of Travel, an ethical travel company that does tours all over Latin America and use code MARY150 for $150 off your next trip.

    #233: Motivating Yourself with Self-Love (Encore)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2025 25:20


    Self-criticism is NOT a good long-term motivation strategy. Let's talk about how to motivate yourself with self-compassion instead. Tune in to learn... Why you might be feeling de-motivated A technique called “10 WHYs” to find intrinsic motivators How to employ self-discipline (but not in the way that you think…) Tools to find and create motivation through a lens of SELF-LOVE Remember: You don't need to wait until you're perfectly motivated to start taking action. Imperfect, messy, reluctant action will often be enough to prove to yourself that you CAN do it, that you DO have it in you which creates a positive feedback loop. Micro steps matter. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love. It's a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. Mentioned In This Episode...  Self-Compassion Researcher Dr. Kristin Neff on Mary's Cup of Tea   The Mere Presence of One's Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity Research Study

    #232: The Energy We're Bringing to 2025

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2025 35:58


    “My new years resolution is to get louder, more annoying, bitchier, and overall a bigger problem that previously thought.” ~@julesandthevibe on TikTok This is not a soft self-love episode. This is an audacious one. Because 2025 is the year of audacity. It's time to stop apologizing for taking up space, to say the weird thing, and to bet on yourself—even when it feels clunky, messy, or downright scary. From trying new things to dressing a little less “perfect” and a lot more “you,” this episode is all about stepping into bold, unapologetic self-expression. You'll feel inspired to: Take risks, no matter how small or unconventional. Lean into tension and embrace your own contradictions. Make moves that make you squeal with delight (even if no one else gets it). Let's kick off 2025 with more audacity, more weirdness, and a whole lot more FAFO energy. You in? Grab my Feeling Lost Guide to turn uncertainty into SELFISH SELF-DISCOVERY. If you enjoyed this episode, share and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Buy Mary's books: The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... “My New Years resolution is to get louder” Viral TikTok video Ep. 231 with my bestie DahliArchitectural Digest video with David Netto: Ep. 201: Tips for Thrifting and Vintage Shopping with Virginia Chamlee

    #231: Meet My Bestie! Neurodivergence, Retreat Reflections, and 2025 Goals

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2024 67:48


    A special in-person recording where Mary has a heart-to-heart with her best friend Dahli! You can watch the video version on Spotify or YouTube. Tune in to hear… retreat reflections from Sedona to Portugal Dahli's mental health journey exploring ADHD and autism our goals for 2025 Remember: live, laugh, love!!! Connect with Dahli on IG: @imdahlidurley Hire Dahli as a photographer or web designer: dahlidurley.com If you enjoyed this episode, share and tag @maryscupofteaa and @imdahlidurley on social media! Get Mary's self-love books: The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

    #230: Bestie Break-Ups and Why Female Friendships Feel So Fragile with Danielle Bayard Jackson

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2024 68:29


    In some ways, women are known as being the connectors, the party hosts, the drivers of relationships. A byproduct of spending centuries constrained to child-rearing and home-making is that many of us have this bio-cultural skill of building community. Why is it then that many of us feel intimidated by other women, lacking in our female friendships, and worrying if our friends truly like us? And as soon as we get over that, finally let someone close to us, they sometimes end up breaking our heart and with it, the friendship. Best friend break-ups involve as much grief as romantic break-ups and yet, we don't have as many tools to deal with them. Luckily, Danielle Bayard Jackson is here to help us build strong friendships, especially those with fellow women. Danielle Bayard Jackson is a female friendship coach and educator who speaks nationally about the science of women's platonic connections. She is also the author of the book Fighting for Our Friendships (May 2024). Danielle's coaching business, Friend Forward, is dedicated to teaching women how to create and maintain better female friendships, and her expertise has been featured in The New York Times, NBC News, Psychology Today, Wall Street Journal, Oprah Magazine, Good Morning America, and a host of other media outlets. A former high school teacher, Danielle now uses her teaching skills and leverages her background to study what the latest research has to say about women's cooperation, communication, and conflict. You will learn about... - the role jealousy plays in our female friendships - what we should/ should not expect from people in our social circle - the 3 key components to good friendships - how to cope with friendship break-ups Remember: self-love begs us to have a balance between independence and dependence. Follow Danielle on Instagram Learn more about Danielle's book, podcast, and workshops here: https://www.betterfemalefriendships.com Danielle shares her insight weekly on The Friend Forward Podcast And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @daniellebayardjackson

    Ep. 229: Deepening Self-Trust

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2024 22:57


    In this week's episode, Mary discusses the importance of self-trust and how it plays a role in developing a deeper, more authentic relationship with yourself. She shares how trusting yourself means letting go of control over outcomes and embracing the process, especially when things don't go as planned. Remember: Trust the process, release the result. If you enjoyed this episode, share and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Get Mary's self-love books: The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 221: How to Trust Yourself Ep. 212: How to Be Honest with Yourself Ep. 81: How to Follow Your Heart

    #228: Dear Mary, should I stay friends with my ex?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 13:52


    Dear Mary, I would love some of your wisdom in relation to my ex. Things fell apart for reasons that are complicated and awful. But we tried to remain friends. I feel I made an effort, I kept messaging, I asked him about his life, I organized a catch up. I still had lots of feelings to process but I put them aside because I wanted to maintain a friendship. I backed off a bit while he was on holidays and when he came back and messaged me, I was in a bad place mentally. It took a week or so for me to respond and I told him the truth - that I wasn't doing well. His response had no empathy. He didn't ask what was going on or if I wanted to catch up. Do I tell him how I'm feeling or do I accept he can't meet my emotional needs and let the friendship go? Love from, Anonymous If you enjoyed this episode, share and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Get Mary's self-love books: *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 203 Coping with Getting Ghosted & Family Estrangement with Minaa B.: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000653572865

    #227: The Messiness of Human-ness with Carissa Potter

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2024 50:33


    This was supposed to be a well-thought-out, polished interview with artist and author Carissa Potter, better known as @peopleiveloved on Instagram. Instead, this turned out to be a vulnerable conversation about parents, religion, narcissism, and overall, our human-ness. Our guest today, or perhaps more accurately our co-host Carissa has over 800,000 followers on social media but the first sentence on her website says that “Carissa Potter is a human longing for connection.” She writes books, makes art & public commissions, and hosts the series Bad At Keeping Secrets (one of Substack's featured newsletter of 2022) where she talks to other humans doing really interesting things. Carissa is the founder of People I've Loved, her platform and stationary line that bridges the gaps between people by helping them have authentic and sometimes difficult conversations. She was named one of Cosmopolitan's 24 People (Genuinely) Making the World a Better Place and I couldn't agree more. This is an extraordinarily raw and real conversation about... - why Carissa wishes she had kids earlier in life - the nuances of both of our religious beliefs - what Mary's father is like - how being chronically late might be a sign of intimacy issues Remember: humans are complex creatures but at our core, all we want is connection with other humans. Follow Carissa on Instagram: @peopleiveloved Subscribe to Carissa's newsletter, Bad At Keeping Secrets: https://peopleiveloved.substack.com And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @peopleiveloved Mentioned In This Episode... Narcissistic Abuse: https://www.stopthespincycle.com/narcissistic-abuse

    #226: 5 Mantras to Get You Through Tough Times

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2024 34:28


    If you're going through a difficult time, here are 5 reminders to ground you in self-love. You will learn... Where mantras originate from and why they're helpful How to work with your mindset to gain greater perspective What to tell yourself when you're going through a hard time Which one of these affirmations resonated with you the most? Or do you have your own mantra that you love? Let me know by tagging @maryspodcast in your IG stories! Get Mary's self-love book + journal: The Gift of Self-Love: a workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself *100 Days of Self-Love:* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are Mentioned In This Episode... 240 votes TikTok by @imdaven: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFwo3So6/

    #225: Can Food Freedom Coexist with Chronic Conditions (PCOS, Celiacs, Crohns, IBS, etc)? with Abbie Attwood

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2024 60:06


    f you have a chronic health condition, then you know how extra difficult it is to navigate food and body-image struggles. Between wellness culture telling you to cut out this or that food and lose weight for “health reasons,” it can be triggering to manage your symptoms without slipping back into a restrictive mindset. And the worst part is, even medical professionals prescribe dietary restrictions without screening patients for a history of disordered eating. So is food freedom possible even while living with chronic illness? Nutritionist Abbie Attwood is here to help. You will learn... - how to challenge diet and weight-centric medical advice - practical tips for finding p eace with your body amidst chronic pain and symptoms - how to approach food with conditions like PCOS, Celiacs, Chrons, IBS, diabetes, and autoimmune illnesses Remember: Your body deserves COMPASSION even and especially in the face of chronic health challenges. Abbie Attwood (she/her) is an anti-diet, weight-inclusive nutritionist with a master's degree in clinical nutrition. She runs Abbie Attwood Wellness, offering virtual nutrition therapy and body image coaching through both individual sessions and group programs. Abbie is also the host of the Full Plate Podcast and writes a companion newsletter. Abbie's personal journey with an eating disorder emerged at the intersection of competitive running, neurodivergence, and chronic illnesses. These experiences fuel her passion for working with individuals who don't always fit the traditional image of disordered eating, offering them a space to feel seen and supported. Her approach is rooted in self-compassion, social justice, and body liberation. Abbie helps clients worldwide heal from disordered eating, chronic dieting, body shame, and compulsive exercise, guiding them towards a more peaceful and respectful relationship with their bodies. She splits her time between Maine and the Bay Area, where she lives with her husband and their two quirky rescue dogs. Abbie is a lover of breakfast foods, good books, the ocean, and a scoop of ice cream any time of day. Follow Abbie on Instagram @abbieattwoodwellness Learn more about Abbie's group coaching: https://www.abbieattwoodwellness.com/group-coaching And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @abbieattwoodwellness Mentioned In This Episode... The Full Plate Podcast Episode: No, You Can't "Eat Your Way" To Diabetes With Erin Phillips, RD & Diabetes Specialist

    #224: How To Process Feelings Effectively

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2024 29:10


    The common misconception is that feeling your feelings means sitting, sulking, and staying where you are until you feel good enough to move forward. But there's a much more effective way to process your feelings. Tune in to learn how + hear how Mary is applying this technique to her own life. Remember: emotions need motion! If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... When God Was a Woman by Merlin Stone

    #223: Dear Mary, how do I know if I'm on the right path?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2024 19:44


    I feel two paths diverging in my life and I feel drawn to one, but it's more practical and potentially easier and less expensive to do the other, yet, my heart years for more. How do I know if I'm on the right path? Tune in to hear Mary's advice on choosing the right path for you. Submit your questions: pod@maryscupoftea.com Get Mary's self-love books: The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman

    #222: Stop Being a “Good Girl” with Elise Loehen

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2024 49:03


    My whole life I have strived to be a “good girl.” But after this conversation with Elise Loehnen, I no longer want to be. You will learn... - the history behind the 7 deadly sins and how they've been weaponized by the patriarchy - who Mary Magdalene really was and how she got mislabeled as a prostitute - why thinness is the dominant beauty ideal in our current culture - the connection between PRIDE and ENVY - subtle ways women undermine each other Elise Loehnen is a writer, editor, and podcast host who lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their two sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread, a podcast focused on pulling apart the stories we tell about who we are—and then putting those threads back together. Ultimately Elise is a seeker and synthesizer, braiding together wisdom traditions, cultural history, and a deep knowledge of healing modalities to unlock new ways to contextualize who we are and why we're here. She's also the author of the instant New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (Dial Press/PRH). The book weaves together history, memoir, and cultural criticism to explore the ways patriarchy lands in the bodies of women and embeds itself in our consciousness—and what we then police in ourselves and in each other. Regardless of our religious provenance, the self-denial implicit in each of the Seven Deadly Sins—Sloth, Envy, Pride, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Anger—reads like a checklist of what it means to be a “good” woman. With awareness, we can begin to recognize these patterns of self-restriction, break the story, and move ourselves and each other toward freedom and balance. Follow Elise on Instagram: @eliseloehnen Get Elise's book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @eliseloehnen Mentioned In This Episode... Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

    #221: How to Trust Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 24:52


    Let's explore what it really means to trust yourself, why it's essential for your well-being, and how it impacts your decisions and relationships. I also share a personal story about my past relationships and how a lack of self-trust played a role. You will learn... 3 big ways to think about self-trust How to discern between fear and intuition 3 small ways to build self-trust daily Plus, I give you 2 powerful book recommendations to help you strengthen your self-trust. “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ~Rumi If you enjoyed this episode, share and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Get Mary's self-love books: *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 177: The Power of Slowing Down on Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker The Listening Path by Julia Cameron

    #220: Staying Active without Slipping Back into Toxic Thoughts

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2024 33:00


    After burning out on exercise during my ED days, 7 years later, I've been able to find a much better balance with movement. So let's talk about HOW I've been able to maintain this healthy relationship with exercise– what might help you, what might hurt you, and mindset shifts to make. You will learn... how to stay active in a way that's sustainable, enjoyable, and free of toxic thoughts. what toxic thoughts or behaviors around exercise can look like (and how to spot them in yourself) the 3 phases of healing your relationship with movement mindset shifts to make if you want to stay active without slipping back Remember: Your mental well-being is as important as your physical, and if your priorities were convoluted for so long during those eating disorder days, it'll take time to come back to a sense of balance. You have time. Take it. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

    #219: Should Your Partner Be Your Best Friend? with Rhaina Cohen

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2024 41:42


    It's common for wedding vows to mention how one's partner is their “best friend.” But what does that say about our best friends who we're not married to? And does this put too much pressure on one person to be everything for you? Back in 2020, journalist Rhaina Cohen wrote an article for the Atlantic titled “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?” Not only did this piece go viral, it also paved the way Rhaina Cohen's book, the Other Significant Others about reimagining the role of friendships in our lives. Today Rhaina joins us to discuss… - how/ why prioritizing platonic friendships actually makes your romantic relationship better - the historical role that friends and marriages used to play and how that's changed over time - tips for taking your friendships from surface-level to depth Relationships come in many different forms. Some are platonic, some are romantic, some blur the lines of both. As we grapple with what's been declared as a loneliness epidemic, we must revere all types of relationships and give them the attention they deserve. Follow Rhaina on Instagram: @rhainacohen Get Rhaina's book, The Other Significant Others: Rhaina Cohen is a long-form journalist, author of the bestselling book The Other Significant Others, and producer and editor for NPR's Embedded. Outside of NPR, she's written for various publications, including The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and The New Republic. Rhaina Cohen has a B.A. in American Studies from Northwestern University and an MPhil in Comparative Social Policy from Oxford, where she was a Marshall Scholar and did research in Denmark and Iceland on paternity leave policies. She has given talks at NASA and at universities in the U.S., U.K., and Ireland and lucky for you, on the Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast! If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @rhainacohen JOIN THE PORTUGAL SELF-LOVE RETREAT: https://maryscupoftea.com/portugal-retreat Mentioned In This Episode... The Moth conversation cards Atlantic article “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?”

    #218: Introducing Dear Mary: "How do I get my confidence back?”

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2024 25:44


    We are starting a new series on Mary's Cup of Tea! “Dear Mary” is your new self-love advice column where Mary answers YOUR questions. Question: “I've been second guessing myself so much and feeling my confidence and self-belief waver. How do I come back to feeling in my full power?” Answer: tune in to hear Mary's advice on how to get your confidence back. Submit your questions: pod@maryscupoftea.com If you like “Dear Mary,” please let us know by leaving a comment or review! Mentioned In This Episode... Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. It's a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

    #217: The Mistake We Make with Self-Love

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2024 25:52


    The biggest mistake people make with self-love is explained this episode. We talk about how a scarcity mindset is emblematic of low self-worth and why we must be PROACTIVE when it comes to self-love. You will learn how to... Identify scarcity thinking in your daily life Understand the societal roots of scarcity mentality Practice proactive self-care to avoid burnout Remember: Take care of yourself in small ways before you burn out in a big way. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And please consider leaving a review/ rating of the show! Links to Mary's self-love book and journal: The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 150 with Dr. Anita Johnston: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000597710471

    #216: You Are Extraordinary (A Pep Talk)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2024 23:13


    You are extraordinary– here's why. Mary talks about… the dual meaning behind the world “extraordinary” why we should stop trying to be extraordinary how to be a more interesting person If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Sign up for Mary's newsletter for more self-love musings: https://maryscupoftea.myflodesk.com/emails And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

    #215: Stop Trying to Be Happy (and Do This Instead) (Encore)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2024 39:10


    Mary's hot take on why “being happy” is not that great of a goal. Chasing happiness can leave you feeling empty because happiness is a fleeting state. You will learn about... - why searching for happiness is NOT good for body-image - how hedonic adaptation gets in the way of our happiness, no matter how much we achieve or accomplish in life - what to focus on instead of “being happy” Remember: Happiness is fleeting. Meaning is fulfilling. Ditch the happiness treadmill and start creating more meaning in your everyday life. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://amzn.to/3gdszZN The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson: https://amzn.to/3uH7fzO

    #214: How to Make a Vision Board, Set Goals, and Create Lasting Behavior Change w/ Jessi Jean

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2024 72:01


    This is a wide-ranging conversation with my friend Jessi Jean, a binge eating and mindset coach. You will hear about... - how to navigate health concerns without diet culture - what to do if you want kids, but feel anxious about pregnancy/ birth - how motherhood can change you for the better - tips for creating a vision board and setting intentions - the key to creating lasting behavior change and achieving your goals - advice for feeling lost, paving your own way, and getting unstuck Remember: don't get caught in the trap of constantly contemplating. No one has life completely figured out, but doing the best you can with what you have is better than waiting for the answers to appear out of nowhere. Follow Jessi on Instagram: @jessijeannn Learn more about Jessi's Food Freedom Online Program here: https://jessijean.com/foodfreedomonlineprogram And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @jessijeannn Mentioned In This Episode... Pure by Anne Geddes (coffee table book with mothers and newborns): https://amzn.to/4eM1hW5 4 Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman: https://amzn.to/3Wa1TxA The War of Art by Steven Pressfield: https://amzn.to/3xA8FmO

    #213: Sick of People-Pleasing? Here's How to Stop

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2024 27:19


    People-pleasing is engrained into so many of us. In attempts to be nice, we neglect our own needs, trading authenticity for approval. You will learn how to... be honest with other people how people-pleasing relates to self-trust tips for aligning with your authentic self before making decisions Remember: don't trade short-term approval for long-term authenticity. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Getting Real by Susan Campbell: https://amzn.to/4cqguuo Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton, PhD: https://amzn.to/3W4EDRk

    #212: How To Be Honest with Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2024 30:21


    Negative self-talk is a form of lying to yourself. Let's explore the power of honesty as a gateway to self-love. You will learn how to... embody a mindset of radical honesty conquer fears by being truthful stop absorbing other people's opinions as facts Remember: You must be real with how you feel so that you can heal. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

    #211: The Disease that Plagues Women, Beauty Sickness w/ Dr. Renee Engeln

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2024 63:43


    Our culture is OBSESSED with female bodies and their appearance making us all “beauty sick.” From constricting clothes to anti-aging skincare products, beauty culture eats up our precious time, money, and energy. This is an eye-opening and deeply-relatable discussion with Dr. Renee Engeln about “beauty sickness,” the disease that plagues so many women (to no fault of their own). You will learn about... - what the research shows about beauty culture and objectification of women - the performative aspects of femininity - the psychological effects of aging in a beauty-obsessed society - how we can fight off beauty sickness both individually and collectively Renee Engeln, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, is the author of Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women. Her lab (The Body and Media Lab, a.k.a. “BAM”) conducts research exploring issues surrounding women's body images, with a particular emphasis on cultural practices that create or enforce the frequently contentious relationship women have with their bodies. The research, which has appeared in numerous academic journals, focuses on Objectification Theory, Fat Talk, and Idealized Media Images. She is regularly interviewed by the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, BBC, the Huffington Post, and other national media. Her TEDx talk has over 800,000 views on YouTube. Remember: Though we won't heal from beauty sickness overnight, we have the power to minimize how much we participate in it. Get Dr. Renee's book, Beauty Sick: https://amzn.to/4c67da9 Learn more about Dr. Renee's Body and Media Lab: http://bodyandmedia.com Watch Dr. Renee's TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63XsokRPV_Y And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @beauty_sick Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 18, Mary's first interview with Dr. Renee: https://open.spotify.com/episode/155JFBTBxSGCCA2UMK12qk?si=gWFYNVAjQxu2S2J8j69Z-w

    Ep. 210: Process > Result

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 28:52


    What would you pursue regardless of the result? Let's reflect on how being results-oriented removes the joy of the process. Though sometimes results do come, maybe we'd be happier if we were more immersed in the process itself. You will learn how to... Trust your unique process and let go of the need for immediate results Embrace activities that bring joy without a focus on outcome Shift your mindset to find peace in the present moment Remember: "Trust your process, release the result." If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Sign up for Mary's monthly newsletter: https://maryscupoftea.myflodesk.com/emails Learn more about upcoming retreats: https://maryscupoftea.com/retreats Get Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love: https://amzn.to/3yJKYII

    #209: The Cure for Burnout is NOT Self-Care w/ Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2024 56:14


    When you find yourself hitting the wall of EXHAUSTION, you could be experiencing burnout. What most people don't know is that our biological stress cycle is not equipped to deal with our modern-day demands. Luckily, there is a cure for burnout and Amelia Nagoski is here to share it with us. You will learn... what causes burnout (and the only CURE for it) how to actually “listen to your body” how the stress cycle works the difference between burnout, depression, and self-sabotage Remember: When you think you need more grit, what you actually need is help. Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A. (it stands for Doctorate of Musical Arts) is the co-author, with her sister Emily, of the New York Times bestselling Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle and the Burnout workbook. Her job is to run around waving her arms and making funny noises and generally doing whatever it takes to help singers get in touch with their internal experience. Get Amelia and Emily Nagoski's book, Burnout: https://amzn.to/449tPUC And the Burnout Workbook Audiobook with original songs by Amelia: https://www.amazon.com/Burnout-Workbook-Advice-Exercises-Unlock/dp/B0CD2S9CBF And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast Mentioned In This Episode... 5-part series on how to listen to your body: https://www.feministsurvivalproject.com/episodes/episode-58-how-to-listen-to-your-body

    #208: Feeling Conflicted? Listen to this.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2024 28:57


    Feeling conflicted can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to hold you back. Let's explore how to cope with conflicting thoughts and emotions across different areas of life, from body image to career decisions, and even current events. You will learn how to... navigate conflicting thoughts and feelings make decisions more confidently make peace with all the different parts of you Remember: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." ~ Aristotle Interested in Mary's next self-love retreat? Go to maryscupoftea.com/retreats to be the first to get all the details! If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media so we can see who's listening!

    #207: The Virgin/Mother/Whore Paradigm & How to Stop Giving a Shit w/ Kara Loewentheil, J.D.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2024 55:34


    Women are put into all sorts of boxes i.e. sexist roles and expectations on who we “should” be. Life coach Kara Loewentheil is back to talk some sense into us and teach us how to break these internalized thought patterns. You will learn... what “thought work” is and how it can help your mindset how to break out of the “virgin/whore” + “maiden/mother/crone” paradigms why “positive thinking” usually doesn't work long-term (and what helps instead) how our sexist socializations project onto the women around us Toward the end, Kara coaches Mary on some of the conflicting thoughts she's having about her career. Remember: the only way to stop caring about what other people think about you is to start caring more about what YOU think about you. Kara Loewentheil, J.D. is a Master Certified Life Coach, founder of The School of New Feminist Thought, and host of the internationally top-ranked podcast UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone (50 million downloads and counting!). Her first book, Take Back Your Brain: How A Sexist Society Gets in Your Head – and How to Get It Out (Penguin Life May 2024) has been called a “galvanizing debut” by Publisher's Weekly, chosen as a “must-read” by the Next Big Ideas Book Club for May 2024, and praised by NYT-bestselling authors including Mel Robbins, Elise Loehnen, Dr. Marisa Franco, and Tori Dunlap. A graduate of Yale College and Harvard Law School, Kara did what every Ivy League lawyer should do: Quit a prestigious academic career to become a life coach! Eight years after she stepped down as director of a think tank at Columbia Law School, she has created a multiple-7-figure business, taught millions of women how to identify the ways that sexist socialization impacts their brains, and helped women all over the world rewire their thought patterns to liberate themselves from the inside out. Follow Kara on Instagram: @karaloewentheil Get Kara's book, Take Back Your Brain here: https://amzn.to/3Wo3W1g And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @karaloewentheil Mentioned in this episode… Ep. 36: Feminism, Body-Image, and Unfcking Your Brain with Kara Loewentheil: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0mi1O4iimYDJ2oT6PlY0nG?si=6a093c1379304c30

    #206: The Easiest Journaling Prompt Ever

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2024 24:37


    Mary shares a 3-part journaling prompt that can help you gain deeper self-awareness regarding your true needs and desires. Use this simple, practical prompt anytime to connect with different aspects of yourself. You will learn how to... Tap into a reliable source of personal insight Clear your mental chatter to understand what you really want Access your heartfelt, soul-centered intuitive guidance Remember: "To hear your heart, you need time, stillness, silence, play, and surrender." Make sure to get Mary's books 2 on self-love: The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 150 with Dr. Anita Johnston: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000597710471

    #205: Overcoming Mom-Shame + Postpartum Anxiety w/ Cameron Rogers

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2024 43:05


    May is mental health month and MOMS need more mental health support. Today we're joined by Cameron Rogers, a content creator who openly shares about the ins and outs of motherhood. In this episode, Cameron shares… - why she doesn't share her kids names and faces online - what postpartum anxiety feels like - how motherhood gave her a new level of self-confidence - advice for new moms Remember: if you're anxious about becoming a mom, you're definitely not alone. But just like everything in life, each phase of motherhood is temporary. Founder and Host of the Freckled Foodie & Friends podcast, Cameron Rogers (@cameronoaksrogers) utilizes her unfiltered voice and humor to carve out a safe space on the internet for mothers. Her podcast, produced by Dear Media, has amassed over 2 Million downloads and features genuine sit-down conversations discussing wellness, mental health, motherhood, and pop culture. She passionately sheds light on her experiences with pregnancy, postpartum depression, and the often unspoken or overlooked trials and tribulations of navigating the journey of motherhood. Recently, Cameron has extended her community to a Substack titled Fill Your Cup about how she's keeping her cup full amidst motherhood. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @cameronoaksrogers

    #204: Feeling Lonely? Listen to this.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2024 33:29


    Loneliness is the #1 contributing factor to the mental health crisis we're currently experiencing so we MUST talk about it for Mental Health Awareness Month. If or when you feel lonely, remember that it's not a personal deficiency. It's a systemic issue in our modern-day, industrialized world. The cure for loneliness is not to become a social butterfly, but rather to re-shape the way you interact with people. In this episode, you will learn... - why more and more people, especially Americans, are feeling lonely - how to create a culture of connection with your friends and family - the missing KEY to feeling less lonely If you're interested in Mary's next online retreat, sign up to get Mary's emails here: https://maryscupoftea.myflodesk.com/emails If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

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