Podcast appearances and mentions of sarah lawrence

Meg tells of how sculptress Barbara G. Cohn Bisgyer brought down a crime ring. Jessica introduces “The Door”: the ultimate arbiters of club life.Please check out our website, follow us on Instagram, on Facebook, and...WRITE US A REVIEW HEREWe'd LOVE to hear from you! Let us know if you have any ideas for stories HEREThank you for listening!Love,Meg and Jessica

Dear Arroe, Hi. Husbands, partners, and jobs come and go, but close friendships are our bedrock. Until they're not. What happens when these bonds sabotage instead of support? Who among us has the courage to walk away? And how can we protect ourselves from further heartbreak? In her provocative new book, “Estranged: How Strained Female Friendships are Mended or Ended,” (Meridian Editions) well-known gender expert and bestseller Susan Shapiro Barash takes a deep dive into the complexities of female friendships. By peeling back the societal narrative that our friendships are meant to last forever, she uncovers a more nuanced reality: the closest bonds do falter. Through groundbreaking research and 150 interviews with women aged 20 to 80, Barash reveals an emerging trend — estrangement among female friends. Examples of unhealthy friendships: 1. The Faithless Friend: Always there until a third party drives a wedge between you. 2. The Wayward Friend: Drawn to questionable or dangerous behavior. 3. The Green-Eyed Friend: Jealous and secretly rooting for your failure. 4. The Thieving Friend: Betrays you by stealing your ideas, opportunities, relationships. 5. The Disparaging Friend: Tears you down with relentless criticism disguised as “honesty.” She uncovered how these suboptimal friendships can impact mental health, why women avoid conflict even in damaging relationships, the emotional trauma of cutting ties with a friend and estrangement as a radical yet necessary act of self-preservation. Barash sheds light on estrangement—both for the “estranger” who walks away and the “estrangee” who is left behind. She challenges women to reimagine their friendships and take the bold step of letting go when necessary. This cutting-edge book offers an empowering path forward: learning to prioritize self-worth, stability and authenticity over loyalty to friendships that no longer serve us. Barash has written several nonfiction books, including Tripping the Prom Queen, and A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. She taught gender studies at Marymount Manhattan and has guest taught creative nonfiction at Sarah Lawrence's Writing Institute. She was featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Post, Chicago Tribune, Elle, Marie Claire, and has appeared on TODAY, Good Morning America, CBS, CNN, and MSNBC and as a guest on NPR and Sirius. She was a panelist for the New York State Council on the Arts, a judge for the International Emmys, and Vice Chair of the Mentoring Committee of the Women's Leadership Board at Harvard's JFK School of Government. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/arroe-collins-unplugged-totally-uncut--994165/support.

Husbands, partners, and jobs come and go, but close friendships are our bedrock. Until they're not. What happens when these bonds sabotage instead of support? Who among us has the courage to walk away? And how can we protect ourselves from further heartbreak? In her provocative new book, “Estranged: How Strained Female Friendships are Mended or Ended,” (Meridian Editions) well-known gender expert and bestseller Susan Shapiro Barash takes a deep dive into the complexities of female friendships. By peeling back the societal narrative that our friendships are meant to last forever, she uncovers a more nuanced reality: the closest bonds do falter. Through groundbreaking research and 150 interviews with women aged 20 to 80, Barash reveals an emerging trend — estrangement among female friends. She uncovered how these suboptimal friendships can impact mental health, why women avoid conflict even in damaging relationships, the emotional trauma of cutting ties with a friend and estrangement as a radical yet necessary act of self-preservation. She challenges women to reimagine their friendships and take the bold step of letting go when necessary. This cutting-edge book offers an empowering path forward: learning to prioritize self-worth, stability and authenticity over loyalty to friendships that no longer serve us. Barash has written several nonfiction books, including Tripping the Prom Queen, and A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. She taught gender studies at Marymount Manhattan and has guest taught creative nonfiction at Sarah Lawrence's Writing Institute. She was featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Post, Chicago Tribune, Elle, Marie Claire, and has appeared on TODAY, Good Morning America, CBS, CNN, and MSNBC and as a guest on NPR and Sirius. She was a panelist for the New York State Council on the Arts, a judge for the International Emmys, and Vice Chair of the Mentoring Committee of the Women's Leadership Board at Harvard's JFK School of Government. Get the book here: https://a.co/d/0aGtpi8 About the show: Ash Brown is a force to be reckoned with in the world of motivation and empowerment. This multi-talented American is a gifted producer, blogger, speaker, media personality, and event emcee. Her infectious energy and passion for helping others shine through in everything she does. Ash Said It, Ash Does It: * AshSaidit.com: This vibrant blog is your one-stop shop for a peek into Ash's world. Dive into exclusive event invites, insightful product reviews, and a whole lot more. It's a platform that keeps you informed and entertained. * The Ash Said It Show: Buckle up for a motivational ride with Ash's signature podcast. With over 2,000 episodesalready under her belt and a staggering half a million streams worldwide, this show is a testament to Ash's impact. Here, she chats with inspiring individuals and tackles topics that resonate deeply. What Makes Ash Special? Ash doesn't just preach motivation; she lives it. Her strength lies in her authenticity. She connects with her audience on a genuine level, offering real-talk advice and encouragement. She doesn't shy away from the challenges life throws our way, but instead, equips you with the tools to overcome them. Here's what sets Ash apart: * Unwavering Positivity: Ash Brown is a glass-half-full kind of person. Her infectious optimism is contagious, leaving you feeling empowered and ready to take on the world. * Real & Relatable: Ash doesn't sugarcoat things. She understands the struggles we face and offers relatable advice that resonates with listeners from all walks of life. * Actionable Strategies: This isn't just about empty inspirational quotes. Ash provides practical tips and strategies to help you translate motivation into action, turning your dreams into reality. So, if you're looking for a daily dose of inspiration, actionable advice, and a healthy dose of real talk, look no further than Ash Brown. With her infectious positivity and dedication to empowering others, she's sure to become your go-to source for making the most of life. ► Goli Gummy Discounts Link: https://go.goli.com/1loveash5 ► Luxury Women Handbag Discounts: https://www.theofficialathena.... ► Review Us: https://itunes.apple.com/us/po... ► Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/c/AshSa... ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/1lov... ► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ashsa... ► Blog: http://www.ashsaidit.com/blog #atlanta #ashsaidit #theashsaiditshow #ashblogsit #ashsaidit®Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ash-said-it-show--1213325/support.

Dear Arroe, Hi. Husbands, partners, and jobs come and go, but close friendships are our bedrock. Until they're not. What happens when these bonds sabotage instead of support? Who among us has the courage to walk away? And how can we protect ourselves from further heartbreak? In her provocative new book, “Estranged: How Strained Female Friendships are Mended or Ended,” (Meridian Editions) well-known gender expert and bestseller Susan Shapiro Barash takes a deep dive into the complexities of female friendships. By peeling back the societal narrative that our friendships are meant to last forever, she uncovers a more nuanced reality: the closest bonds do falter. Through groundbreaking research and 150 interviews with women aged 20 to 80, Barash reveals an emerging trend — estrangement among female friends. Examples of unhealthy friendships: 1. The Faithless Friend: Always there until a third party drives a wedge between you. 2. The Wayward Friend: Drawn to questionable or dangerous behavior. 3. The Green-Eyed Friend: Jealous and secretly rooting for your failure. 4. The Thieving Friend: Betrays you by stealing your ideas, opportunities, relationships. 5. The Disparaging Friend: Tears you down with relentless criticism disguised as “honesty.” She uncovered how these suboptimal friendships can impact mental health, why women avoid conflict even in damaging relationships, the emotional trauma of cutting ties with a friend and estrangement as a radical yet necessary act of self-preservation. Barash sheds light on estrangement—both for the “estranger” who walks away and the “estrangee” who is left behind. She challenges women to reimagine their friendships and take the bold step of letting go when necessary. This cutting-edge book offers an empowering path forward: learning to prioritize self-worth, stability and authenticity over loyalty to friendships that no longer serve us. Barash has written several nonfiction books, including Tripping the Prom Queen, and A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. She taught gender studies at Marymount Manhattan and has guest taught creative nonfiction at Sarah Lawrence's Writing Institute. She was featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Post, Chicago Tribune, Elle, Marie Claire, and has appeared on TODAY, Good Morning America, CBS, CNN, and MSNBC and as a guest on NPR and Sirius. She was a panelist for the New York State Council on the Arts, a judge for the International Emmys, and Vice Chair of the Mentoring Committee of the Women's Leadership Board at Harvard's JFK School of Government. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/arroe-collins-like-it-s-live--4113802/support.

What makes extraordinary schools? In this enlightening conversation, Jenee Henry, Chief Learning Officer at Transcend, explores how community-based design is helping schools evolve beyond industrial-era models to create learning environments where everyone thrives. From competency-based approaches to student-driven projects, discover how education is being reimagined across America.RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Get your copy of Extraordinary Learning for All: How Communities Design Schools Where Everyone ThrivesWant to open your dream school with the freedom you deserve and the support you need?Visit https://openmyschool.my.canva.site/rebelkaipod to learn more about our partnership with KaiPod Learning and get help opening your dream school!Learn more about the Rebel Project Literacy Curriculum, a fully integrated literacy and project based learning curriculum, at  projectup.us or inkwire.co/rplc Get your copy of Rebel Educator: Create Classrooms Where Impact and Imagination MeetLearn more about Rebel Educator, explore our professional development opportunities for educators and students, and check out our project library.Visit us at UP Academy to learn more about our personalized and inclusive learning environment.Connect with Tanya and UP Academy on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram and learn more about her journey here.GUEST BIO:Jenee Henry is Chief Learning Officer at Transcend. Jenee started her career as an educator in Atlanta and has been nationally recognized for outstanding teaching. Jenee studied Economics and Russian at Sarah Lawrence and at Oxford. While living in the United Kingdom, she also served as a cellist in the Oxford University Orchestra and is a life member of the Oxford Union debating society. She lives in New Haven, Connecticut.Enjoying the show? Leave us a rating and review and help more people find us!bit.ly/RebelEducatorApplePodcastsWe'd love it if you could take a few minutes to fill out this survey to let us know how we can bring you the best possible content: forms.gle/JcKHf9DHTZnYUmQr6 Interested in being on the Rebel Educator podcast? Fill out this form and we'll reach out to you if we think you'd be a great fit for an upcoming episode. https://forms.gle/CZJXLQDdevPh22ZN7Want to learn more about opening your own UP Academy? Check out the Rebel Educator Accelerator:www.rebeleducator.com/courses/the-acceleratorMORE ABOUT THE REBEL EDUCATOR PODCAST:In each episode of the Rebel Educator podcast, I deconstruct world-class educators, students, and thought leaders in education to extract the tactics, tools, and routines that you can use as teachers and parents. Join me as we discuss how to shift the classroom, the learning environment, the mindset, and the pedagogy, to resist tradition, reignite wonder, and re-imagine the future of education.This podcast is dedicated to all of the educators who work thankless hours to make our next generation the best it can be.  It was designed to begin conversations on how we can redesign education for the future of work and the success of our students.  It is meant for teachers, students, administrators, homeschoolers and anyone who interacts with and teaches youth.

This episode is sponsored in part by Betterhelp. What do serial killers, cult leaders, and domestic abusers have in common? According to criminal behavior analyst Laura Richards, quite a lot. In this powerful conversation, Laura explains the concept of coercive control—the psychological abuse tactic often at the core of these crimes—and how it plays out across intimate relationships, cults, and high-profile cases. Laura spent a decade at New Scotland Yard investigating rape, murder, and abduction. She went on to found the Homicide Prevention Unit and Paladin, the world's first national stalking advocacy service. Her work helped reduce the murder rate in the UK by 58 percent and led to coercive control being criminalized there. Now, she's fighting for similar legal reforms in the U.S. In Part 1 of our conversation, Laura offers insight into the behaviors and warning signs she sees in the cases of Gabby Petito, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, “Dirty” John Meehan, British serial killer Peter Sutcliffe, Larry Ray (of the Sarah Lawrence cult case), and NXIVM's Keith Raniere. This episode gives you a new lens for spotting red flags—and a deeper understanding of how abusers manipulate power and control, so major trigger warning for sexual assault, murder, and domestic violence this week. For more, check out Laura's podcasts Crime Analyst and Real Crime Profile, find her on IG @laurarichards999 or visit thelaurarichards.com. Also… let it be known that: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Nobody's mad at you, just don't be a culty fuckwad. Check out our lovely sponsors Join ‘A Little Bit Culty' on Patreon Get poppin' fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Cult awareness and recovery resources Watch Sarah's TEDTalk CREDITS:  Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Amphibian.Media Writer & Co-Creator: Jess Tardy Associate producers: Amanda Zaremba and Matt Stroud of Amphibian.Media   Audio production: Red Caiman Studios Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin  

In this episode, journalistic superstar Ezra Marcus joins us to chronicle his journey from the ashes of millennial digital media to the frontlines of today's most exciting investigative reporting. We extol his epic track record—the Sarah Lawrence sex cult, the culinary horror story of Horses, the galaxy gas epidemic, and more— and discover what draws him to the shady fraudster kingpins that personify online hustle culture. We also discuss the true crime documentary slop machine, moonlighting as a party-pumping DJ, the idea that men are the new women, and what it means to stand at the brink of the Chinese century.Links:Ezra Marcus's Website Ezra Marcus on InstagramSome of Ezra's greatest hits:The Next Drug Epidemic is Blue Raspberry Flavored The Package King of MiamiThe Stolen Kids of Sarah LawrenceThe Cat Who Could Kill HorsesThe ‘E-Pimps' of OnlyFansHow Do You Make a Weed Empire? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

In this episode, journalistic superstar Ezra Marcus joins us to chronicle his journey from the ashes of millennial digital media to the frontlines of today's most exciting investigative reporting. We extol his epic track record—the Sarah Lawrence sex cult, the culinary horror story of Horses, the galaxy gas epidemic, and more— and discover what draws him to the shady fraudster kingpins that personify online hustle culture. We also discuss the true crime documentary slop machine, moonlighting as a party-pumping DJ, the idea that men are the new women, and what it means to stand at the brink of the Chinese century. Links: Ezra Marcus's Website Ezra Marcus on Instagram Some of Ezra's greatest hits: The Next Drug Epidemic is Blue Raspberry Flavored The Package King of MiamiThe Stolen Kids of Sarah LawrenceThe Cat Who Could Kill HorsesThe ‘E-Pimps' of OnlyFansHow Do You Make a Weed Empire?

GNM is an alt health trend that has grown in popularity in recent years. It is attractive to so many (including me and my guest, once) because it acknowledges the role that emotions and trauma play in physical health and symptom manifestation, something that mainstream medicine still somehow refuses to do. But just because some aspects of an ideology are true and helpful does not mean that the entire framework is valid. Critical thinking and humility are essential tools for navigating information overload and complex frameworks, especially when it comes to health. The allure of certainty and specialized knowledge can lead people to adopt rigid belief systems that don't hold up to critical thinking, and the the zealotry of believing that your group's belief system will save the world only further strengthens unconscious confirmation bias (along with other logical fallacies common in GNM- loading the language, heads you lose tails I win, us v them thinking, bizarre antisemitic conspiracies, etc). But what might be most worrisome about this growing movement is the purity mindset demanded of its more extreme adherents- the belief that nothing outside of us can affect us if only we believe strongly enough in our own omnipotence and prove our righteousness and purity by attaining a total lack of symptoms. What is viewed as radical sovereignty and empowerment is really just outright magical thinking reinforced by an absence of humility, mystery, and the reality that ultimately we are not in control of what happens to us. The body is not a closed system; we are deeply embedded in overlapping ecologies. This episode has been years in the making, and I have been asked time and time again for my take on GNM. When I was sent Demetra's essay on the subject I knew that I had finally found the right person to have this conversation with. Her past cult experience, and my years of deep dives into culty thinking and behavior, provide a lens through which to view this phenomenon. Though we do not claim that GNM is a cult in the traditional sense, cultishness is a spectrum and GNM is definitely on that spectrum. Also its tenets are demonstrably false, and have led to death in some cases. NBD. In our Patreon bonus conversation Demetra shares her cult story- joining what she thought was a good thing, slowly realizing it wasn't, leaving, being attacked by the leader and other members, and the long “deprogramming” and stabilization process that all cult survivors undergo Demetra's essay The Culty Fraud of German New Medicine Dr. Moss's report German New Medicine- Hope or Hoax? Demetra's podcast Impolite Company on Spotify and Apple Amber's Nourishing Motherlines Substack Amber's website MythicMedicine.love  Take our fun Which Healing Herb is Your Spirit Medicine? quiz Mythic Medicine on Instagram Medicine Stories Facebook group Music by Mariee Siou (from her beautiful song Wild Eyes) Mentioned in this episode: Tension Myositis Syndrome Cell Danger Response A Little But Culty podcast (the best!) Cult documentaries (by no means an extensive list)- The Vow (NXIVM), Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence, Breath of Fire (Kundalini yoga), The Way Down: God, Greed, and the Cult of Gwen Shamblin Steven Hassan's BITE model Cult expert Robert Jay Lifton  

In this season premiere episode host Tim Kail celebrates the third year anniversary of the podcast, why the Sarah Lawrence community is eclectic, curious, and inventive, the episodes you should listen to if you're new to the podcast, thanking those who work under the radar to make the podcast possible, and Tim's vision for the future of the podcast. Follow Sarah Lawrence College on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Vimeo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. And give this podcast a five star rating and review in Apple Podcasts or follow us on Spotify. Thanks for listening!

For decades Sean Combs was hip-hop's reigning mogul—the mastermind who redefined what it meant to have fame, fortune, and dominion over the music industry. But as Combs reached new heights in music, fashion, and business, allegations of misconduct and abuse began to surface, casting a dark shadow over his legacy.Hosted by Jesse Weber, this series uncovers how Combs built an empire that shaped a generation while navigating a trail of scandals, lawsuits, and criminal allegations.The Rise and Fall of Diddy explores the intersection of power, fame, and accountability in the life of a man who once called himself a “bad boy for life.” Will his empire survive, or is this truly the end of an era?Listen to The Rise & Fall of Diddy exclusively on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial today by visiting www.wondery.com/shows/the-rise-and-fall-of-diddySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Joe Marrese is joined by comedian Sarah Lawrence and her cat, Cow, Joe admires Sarah's dedication to be on the podcast because she just got in town from Australia a few hours prior, the “mildly aggressive phrases that assert authority” bracket gets started, and much more on the 180th episode of Joe Code! Be sure to subscribe, rate, & review the pod wherever you listen Write Joe an email: joecodepodcast@gmail.com Support Joe Code at www.patreon.com/joecodepodcast

La historia del culto sexual de la universidad Sarah Lawrence es una prueba de que los jóvenes adultos intentando empezar sus vidas independientes son la presa perfecta para la manipulación. El caso de hoy es la historia de cómo jóvenes con prometedores futuros pasaron diez años a merced de un psicópata que los traficó sexualmente en un esquema de prostitución entre las élites de Nueva York, en general, torturó mentalmente por su propia satisfacción. También puedes escucharnos en Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music o tu app de podcasts favorita. Apóyanos en Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/leyendaspodcast Apóyanos en YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/leyendaslegendarias/join Visita nuestra página para ver contenido extra: www.leyendaslegendarias.com Síguenos: https://instagram.com/leyendaspodcast https://twitter.com/leyendaspodcast https://facebook.com/leyendaspodcast #Podcast #LeyendasLegendarias Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

La historia del culto sexual de la universidad Sarah Lawrence es una prueba de que los jóvenes adultos intentando empezar sus vidas independientes son la presa perfecta para la manipulación. El caso de hoy es la historia de cómo jóvenes con prometedores futuros pasaron diez años a merced de un psicópata que los traficó sexualmente en un esquema de prostitución entre las élites de Nueva York, en general, torturó mentalmente por su propia satisfacción. También puedes escucharnos en Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music o tu app de podcasts favorita. Apóyanos en Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/leyendaspodcast Apóyanos en YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/leyendaslegendarias/join Visita nuestra página para ver contenido extra: www.leyendaslegendarias.com Síguenos: https://instagram.com/leyendaspodcast https://twitter.com/leyendaspodcast https://facebook.com/leyendaspodcast #Podcast #LeyendasLegendarias Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Drawing from their panel discussion at the Storyhouse Childless event in Chester, we explore what it means to navigate society and self-perception as men without children—whether by choice or circumstance. Featuring insights from Michael, Andy Harrod, Mark Briggs van Leeuwen, and Sam Ryley, this candid conversation highlights the challenges, the societal silence, and the journey to self-acceptance faced by childless men across generations. The importance of providing visibility and voice for childless men, challenging societal silence, and creating safe spaces for men to openly discuss their experiences.   Support for childless men: Andy Harrod on Substack Dr Robin Hadley's research and website Robert Nurden's website (author of I Always Wanted To Be A Dad: Men Without Children) The Full Stop online community is open to all genders. Michael and Andy are co-admins of The Childless Men's Collective Gateway Women's men's page. After The Storm, run by Sarah Lawrence, our co-founder and podcast host, provides counselling for childless people. World Childless Week Men Matter Too along with resources and support spaces Chrissy Pantlin on Men's Mental Health

This week Tim is joined by student Ashe to discuss visual art, concept art, character creation, mixing colors to create commonality, and much more. Follow Sarah Lawrence College on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Vimeo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. And give this podcast a five star rating and review in Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening!

On this episode of Unsupervised Learning Razib talks to Halie May, the host of the Substack The Sequence, and a genetic counselor at Natera. May has a B.S. in chemical biology from Stevens Institute of Technology and a M.S. in human genetics from Sarah Lawrence. Before working at Natera she was a researcher and instructor at Columbia University and designed testing panels at genetics start-up, Tomorrow's Health. Razib and May discuss how much the field has changed even in her short career, in large part because genetic counseling is a 50-year-old profession that has been transformed in the last decade by the introduction of genome-wide datasets. May highlights the changes in the last ten years, and how they have impacted counselors and end users, in particular the ubiquity of noninvasive prenatal screening tests. Here, she mentions that whole-genome analysis isn't quite where she had expected when she began studying these issues six years ago, and Razib brings up the fact that it's already a decade ago he had his son whole-genome sequenced. They discuss the hold-ups in the progress of genetic testing and analysis, and May points out that a major issue is likely the utter lack of federal guidelines, with oversight of genetic healthcare mostly being left to the states. This lack of coordination means that there is no top-down signal, and localities and institutions are left to cobble together frameworks in an ad hoc manner. Razib also asks May about how private companies, like Natera, might fill the gap in what hospitals can provide, and the potential pathways and promise of the democratization of genetic results.

This week Tim is joined by student Hope Hamilton to discuss classes, concentrations, and clubs. It's a nice conversation that really showcases what Sarah Lawrence has to offer students. Follow Sarah Lawrence College on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Vimeo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. And give this podcast a five star rating and review in Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening!

TIME STAMPS: 01:47 Summary of Sarah's recent contest prep and reasons for being a natural athlete! IG = @ MEATFED. Check out session CCC 061: The Untold Truth About Fiber (Until Now), with Sarah Lawrence 04:04 Sarah's famous CREAM CHEESE & YOGURT based KETO CHEESECAKE! 05:21 How ALLULOSE is different than most artificial sweeteners. 05:45 NUTS: which are the least toxic and best to consume for ketogenic dieters? 07:25 Recap of the AFTER PARTY at the Fogo de Chao; what to order at BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSES. 15:04 How to find the best MEAL TIMING for you and your health goals. 16:14 Mannerisms & how to conduct yourself when your barista or server isn't paying attention to the ingredients they are serving you. 19:19 Seasonings & sides - what to be careful about when you eat out! 31:03 BIKINI & how it's different than FIGURE, WOMENS BB & other womens categories. 33:25 POSING COACHES, NETWORKS, & RESOURCES FOR COMPETITION - The importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded athletes and being part of a supportive network or team. 36:38 CHARISMA & STAGE PRESENCE - Sarah NAILED IT at THE OPEN NATURAL 2024 and shares her tips for developing the self-confidence to compete! 41:02 Supporting your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend up and through their bodybuilding competition. 42:00 Plans for THE OPEN NATURAL 2025! 44:42 ANTI-AGING effects of a meat-based diet & how natural bodybuilding and the carnivore lifestyle go hand-in hand! 51:01:04 This week's LISTENER-INSPIRING-SUCCESS-STORY: Lisa Moss, Alberta, CA - IG @ jazzylisaj 55:02:05 How to identify FRAUDULENT/FAKE ONLINE COACHES and MISREPRESENTED SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE. 01:05:00 Advice for WOMEN assessing satiety on the week of your MENSTRUAL CYCLE. 01:21:00 Picking yourself up after you FALL OFF THE WAGON. 54:02 FASTING - not necessary for most people but a very helpful too! Tips on how and when to fast. 56:18 CHIPOTLE SHREDDED BEEF in BUTTERNUT SQUASH BOATS! 57:17 Recap of Colt & Richard's TRIPLE REFEED to peak to guest pose at The Open Natural 2024 up and through the life-changing ribeye & white rice prepared by Sarah and JD!!! 01:02:48 BACON-SCALLOPED POTATOES WITH THYME, Paleo Cranberry Pies, & other simple HOLIDAY recipes. 01:05:12 Calling audibles & deciding what to eat BACKSTAGE during a competition. 01:08:01 GROCERY SHOPPING: Finding a local butcher and quality grocery stores; how to find quality meats at cheaper places like Wal Mart and Costco. 01:11:38 How to use (and not “abuse”) ketogenic meal replacements such as KETO BRICKS and products from Richard's website. 01:15:03 JUST THE BEGINNING - The encouraging rise of popularity within the carnivore community. 01:17:07 Why it is NOT HARD to go carnivore FOREVER! 01:20:21 Apples aren't bad for you, are they??? Apple sauce & how to eat fruit wisely and in moderation so it doesn't ruin your aesthetic goals. 01:23:09 Healing benefits of exercising & developing WILLPOWER, DISCIPLINE, and SELF-DEPRIVATION. 01:32:40 How to identify whether you adhere better with variety or if you perform better strict & neurotic (maybe even crazy?) like Colt & Rich!!! Hungry for more?? Check out RICHARDS KETO PRO PODCAST where he and his guests teach how to improve their health and wellbeing using a ketogenic diet. Questions for Coach Colt? Your first phone call is free for 15 minutes; I also offer 30 & 60 minute 1:1 consultations and monthly coaching services. Book here: https://calendly.com/ssyl/meet-greet Coach Colt's Supplement Store (US): https://supersetyourlife.com/collections/supplements Coach Richard's Supplement Store (UK): https://theketopro.com/collections/keto-supplements PURELY TALLOW ANIMAL BASED SKINCARE: Save 10% with code COLT10! Looking for some mid-workout entertainment and motivation? Stream The SuperSetYourLife.Com Podcast from any platform. Information on The Open Natural: ⁠https://www.theopennatural.com/Home⁠

Punk rock educatrix, Tina Horn joins us to talk all things kink - cash fetishes, financial domination, spanking, bimbofication, cannibalism, feet, domming, oh my! Tina applies her signature curiosity, flirtatious wit, hyper intelligence and dirty mind, which you may be familiar with from her hit podcast Why Are People Into That?, to her new book and to our conversation. Why are People Into That: A Cultural Investigation of Kink (Tina's new book) breaks down kink practices and the most niche fetishes through a cultural lens, revealing the ways that BDSM is baked into and simultaneously gawked at in our culture. The book also explores Tina's own hard-earned experience in the kink community, a shared lineage she and Robin revel over in this week's episode. Tune it in to learn why we think Tina is "a smarty, smarty kinky pants!"Tina can be found on cashapp $showbiz04, on IG @tinahornsass, or online at tinahorn.netYou can find us (and support the show) on Patreon Instagram & TikTok @fuckyeahpodTina Horn is a writer, educatrix, and media-maker. Deprog, her new detective thriller comic book series, is out in 2024 from Dead Sky. Tina is the creator/writer of the sci-fi sex-rebel comic book series SfSx (Safe Sex) (Image) and the host/cowriter of the phone sex podcast Operator (Wondery). Her reporting on sexual subcultures and politics has appeared in Rolling Stone, Playboy, Hazlitt, Glamour, Jezebel and elsewhere; she is the author of two nonfiction books and has contributed to numerous anthologies including We Too: Essays on Sex Work and Survival, which she also coedited. She's available for nonfiction book development editing, creative consulting, and personal relationship coaching. Tina has lectured on sex worker politics and queer BDSM identities at universities and community centers all over North America, and works as an on-set consultant for film/tv/theater including Pose. Tina is a LAMBDA Literary Fellow, the winner of two Feminist Porn Awards, an AVN-nominated director, and holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction Writing from Sarah Lawrence. Originally from Northern California, Tina spent a decade in NYC before re-settling in Los Angeles.

Am 26. Oktober 1979 werden die 30-jährige Sarah Lawrence und 6 Monate später, am 9. April 1980, die 25-jährige Sherry Welch in Amarillo auf brutale Art vergewaltigt und ermordet. Die Polizei hat schnell einen Verdächtigen: Jay Kelly Pinkerton. Doch bis sie den Mörder überführen können, soll noch einiges schiefgehen…

En el capítulo de hoy vamos a zambullirnos en la mente de un maestro de la manipulación, un tipo capaz de implantar recuerdos en sus víctimas para crear una realidad paralela que lo beneficie, les vamos a hablar sobre Larry Ray o también conocido como Lawrence Grecco y de cómo logró robarles la juventud a un grupo de estudiantes de la universidad de Sarah Lawrence en Nueva York.Producción EjecutivaDaniela Ormazábal y Federico CapocciEdición, montaje y música originalFederico CapocciAsistencia de producción
Diana FernándezSuscríbete a nuestro Patreon para contenido exclusivo y sorpresashttps://www.patreon.com/cosasmuyimportantes

We emphasize the importance of "understanding the business," in Ethics & Compliance, which is absolutely critical to our success. One of the topics we discuss less frequently is how to work with other control functions, one of which is internal controls.  Lisa is speaking about this topic at the SCCE CEI with Matt Kelly from Radical Compliance. In advance of the conference, Lisa and Ellen Hunt co-hosted a roundtable discussion with Matt Kelly from Radical Compliance, and Sarah Lawrence, Sr. Director of Internal Controls at Pearson.  In this episode, they discuss the history and purpose of internal controls and SOX, how they evolved and how they work today. In particular, they focus on what is financial materiality vs what E&C sees as areas for controls. The whole group agreed that open lines of communication and coordination are fundamental to both of these control functions working together, and Sarah and Lisa discuss how they have built a collaborative relationship so that both the finance and compliance sides understand each other's objectives and keep an open line to the benefit of both functions. #GWIC is proud to announce that it has been nominated for the WomenInPodcastAwards.  This is a people's choice award and whether you vote for #GWIC or other nominees we ask that you send the elevator back down by voting. Voting opens August 1, 2024, and details can be found on the #GWIC Linkedin page at http://www.linkedin.com/groups/12156164 Resources Join the Great Women in Compliance community on LinkedIn here.

Megan Huwa reads her poem, "Counting Stars," and Hannah Butcher-Stell reads her poem, "one body." Megan Huwa is a poet and writer in southern California. A rare health condition keeps her and her husband from living near her family's five-generation farm in Colorado, so her writing reaches for home—both temporal and eternal. Her work has been published or is forthcoming in Solum Literary Press, Calla Press, Foreshadow, Ekstasis, Solid Food Press, San Antonio Review, The Midwest Quarterly, LETTERS Journal, and elsewhere, and featured on The Habit Podcast. Hannah Butcher-Stell is a writing MFA candidate at Sarah Lawrence College, holding a bachelor's degree in English from Rollins College. You can find her co-authored fiction in Sky Island Journal, Newfound Journal, and The Headlight Review. Meanwhile, her poetry has appeared on Poets.org and has also appeared in The Lehrhaus, Sequestrum, and No, Dear. She currently works as poetry editor of Lumina, Sarah Lawrence's literary journal, and as communications manager for a growing nonprofit. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/vita-poetica/support

If you haven't yet watched the Hulu miniseries Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence, I highly recommend that you do. I watched it, and invited Josh Slocum, from  @DisaffectedPodcast  here to discuss coercive control -- what it is, and how it works -- because he's a graduate of Sarah Lawrence, and because he is an expert in cluster-B personality disorders, and while not all who are cluster-B engage in coercive control, all those who coercively control are cluster-B. Follow Josh on X @DisaffectedPod Subscribe to his Substack at https://disaffectedpod.substack.com/Watch the Hulu series: https://press.hulu.com/shows/stolen-youth-inside-the-cult-at-sarah-lawrence/SUPPORT MY WORK:// Donate:Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/trwlPayPal: paypal.me/deborahfillman// Join:If you want to join weekly calls with me and my audience, and get access to my curated lists of education enrichment and homeschooling resources, join one or both of my private communities: TRWL @Wokescreen: https://wokescreen.com/thereasonwelearn/TRWP Parent Support Group: https://wokescreen.com/the-reason-we-parent///Work With Me:I offer a wide range of consulting services to parents and parent advocacy organizations. Learn more about my services, and book my time using these links Tutoring & Homeschool Teaching: https://thereasonwelearn.com/online-tutoring-and-homeschool-teaching/ College Counseling and Essay Coaching: https://thereasonwelearn.com/consulting/ Education Consulting & School Search: https://thereasonwelearn.com/1942-2/ Public Speaking: https://thereasonwelearn.com/speaking/ Writing: https://thereasonwelearn.com/writing-2///Do Business With My Affiliates Purchase books from Heroes of Liberty with my referral link and get 10% off! https://heroesofliberty.com/?ref=Zqpq...Enroll your child in The Socratic Experience, a virtual school grades 3-12. They provide Socratic discussions of classic texts with a commitment to rationality while supporting students in entrepreneurial and creative projects. My listeners can now get a 10% discount by using the link below!https://socraticexperience.com/parent-guide/?utm_source=thereasonwelearn#sarahlawrence #hulu #coercivecontrol #clusterb #narcissism #narcissiticabuse #humantrafficking--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/debf/support Get full access to The Reason We Learn at thereasonwelearn.substack.com/subscribe

SUBSCRIBE: https://www.popupwithpaul.com/  CHECK OUT SARAH: https://www.instagram.com/thesarahlawrence/?hl=en SARAH'S SPECIAL - PLANT MEDICINE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1FXBzhdBhM&feature=youtu.be FOLLOW Paul: https://www.instagram.com/paulcostabile/ https://www.tiktok.com/@paulcostabile https://twitter.com/paulcostabile https://www.facebook.com/PaulCostabileTV/  MORE ON OUR SPONSOR BAREFOOT DREAMS: https://www.barefootdreams.com/ PROMO CODE: POPUP15 for 15% off your first purchase! New episodes every week!

Kristy Norbert, co-founder and executive director of Empowered Network, is a licensed social worker with over 20 years of experience who has developed trauma-informed programs aimed at helping trafficking survivors achieve long-term stability and self-sufficiency. Her insights reveal the critical intersection between human trafficking and mind control, similar to the techniques employed by cult leaders. Empowered Network assists survivors of human trafficking in moving beyond immediate crisis services to achieve long-term stability. I was honored to nominate Felicia Rosario, MD, to get support from the Empowered Network. Felicia was in the Larry Ray cult at Sarah Lawrence that was featured in the Hulu series Stolen Youth. I appeared in the fourth episode, listed under ABC Nightline-Impact Stolen Youth; in that episode, I met Felicia and Daniel Levin, the cult's whistleblower, and talked with them about their experiences. Larry Ray was convicted of trafficking and is in jail for the rest of his life. I am happy to say Felicia is returning to become a forensic psychiatrist and will attend the IALMH.org congress with me this July 22-26th in Barcelona.  Learn more about Steven Hassan and Freedom of Mind Resource Center. Visit freedomofmind.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TIME STAMPS: 01:00 Marilu is a BEHAVIOURAL SCIENTIST, CONSULTANT and aspiring NEUROPSYCHOLOGIST!!! Website www.mariluhayes.com / IG mariluluhayes 02:11 Everything Marulu eats in a day and how she leads her family by example! 03:38 The great AVOCADO debate! Do these belong in a proper human diet? 05:15 CONSTIPATION, FIBER, and the CARNIVORE DIET. 09:40 How keto and carnivore have improved Marilu's mental health especially when she “HIT ROCK BOTTOM” and needed Jesus more than ever! 11:00 Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my STRENGTH and my SONG” Hebrew 5797 is pronounced “OZE” (ohzzzz) which means STRENGTH, MIGHT and DEFENSE! 13:44 RUNNING: Why this gives you a “fight-or-flight” hormone rush called a “runner's high” and how this affects your mental and physical health long-term. Here's Dr. Kilt'z TED TALK I referenced: The Human Ferrari | Dr. Robert Kiltz | TEDxOnondagaCommunityCollege 19:31 ALCOHOL in moderation: can you really handle this and sugar “from time to time” or are you lying to yourself and killing your results? 20:20 What does “eating in moderation” even mean and how to you set realistic boundaries you can stick to? 25:05 What do you say when your kids say “I'M NOT HUNGRY” at breakfast or dinner time? 30:05 The SCIENCE of how ADDICTIONS and bad habits are formed within the brain! 33:39 Questions on adding FERMENTED FOODS into a carnivorous diet to assist with PH balance and improve digestion in your gut microbiome. 39:09 “ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DRINKING COCKTAILS AND HAVING FUN TODAY! So what should I drink if I want to fit in?” 45:02 Least-damaging, “low-Calorie” and “keto friendly” alcoholic beverages if you're gonna treat yourself on the weekend or when you go out! 50:20 How to PICK YOURSELF BACK UP and LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES after you've eaten #allthethings!!! 58:00 SPECIAL OFFER FOR SUPERSETYOURLIFE.COM PODCAST LISTENERS - FREE CONSULTATIONS WITH MARILU!!! 01:01:40  INTERMITTENT FASTING & O.M.A.D. Link to article: OMAD: Fountain of Youth or Metabolic Death Trap, by Colt Milton, Sarah Lawrence, Samantha Kambeck & Danielle Fischer. 01:05:32 Athlete Spotlight of the Week: Ashley, from Delaware. Check out her pictures on IG: @carniv0ore_waifu to see her transformation! Have you heard about our NUTRITION PODCAST? Carnivore Coaches Corner is the #1 bodybuilding podcast in England, hosted by professional bodybuilding coaches Colt Milton and Richard Smith. Listen to these crazy gentlemen on Spotify or any podcast platform

Mattie Jo Cowsert was a pastor's kid and proud purity ring wearer before she moved to New York City and experienced an unexpected worldview and identity implosion thanks to Tinder and her Jewish roommate. When marriage equality passed in 2015, Mattie Jo decided to share how the queer community was one of the catalysts for questioning everything she'd been taught about this Jesus guy in her first publicly released blog post entitled: God and the Gays. This was the start of her popular blog, God, Sex, and Rich People. Before terms like “deconstruction”, “purity culture” or “Exvangelical'' became hashtags viewed by billions, God, Sex, and Rich People exposed the sometimes painful, sometimes hilarious realities of a young female Exvangelical navigating the diversity of the Big Apple, working for the 1%, and trying to have good sex without hating herself in the city that never sleeps (and never stops sleeping around).Her book by the same name releases on September 10th, 2024. Looking for a trauma-trained mental health professional to work with? www.traumaresolutionandrecovery.com/meet-our-practitionersSign up for Tears of Eden's newsletter to receive updates on the release of Katherine Spearing's upcoming book: www.tearsofeden.org/aboutUncertain is a podcast of Tears of Eden, a community and resource for those in the aftermath of Spiritual Abuse. If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to like, subscribe, or leave a review on your favorite podcasting listening apparatus. You can support the podcast by going to TearsofEden.org/supportTo get in touch with us please email tearsofeden.org@gmail.comFollow on Instagram @uncertainpodcast Transcript is Unedited for Typos and Misspellings[00:00:00] I'm Katherine Spearing, and this is Uncertain. Uncertain is the affiliate podcast of Tears of Eden, a community and resource for survivors of spiritual abuse from the evangelical community. So I don't think I've had the chance to officially announce, But in April of this year, I partnered with Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery to work as a practitioner for them. Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery is a online agency that works with survivors of spiritual abuse, religious trauma, purity culture, folks who are deconstructing, All of the things, and it's 100 percent online, so you can meet with a practitioner online.So many folks are addressing the religious trauma that came from evangelicalism, from working in the church, and they're looking for good mental health professionals that understand this. I know that with most of the clients that I work with, they [00:01:00] have already worked with therapists before in the past.But one of the main things that they struggled with in their therapy relationship was that the therapist didn't understand the nuances and the complexities of the subculture of evangelicalism. So if you are looking for a mental health practitioner to help you navigate the complex and confusing and very painful journey of recovering from religious trauma and the trauma from spiritual abuse, I encourage you to check them out. I'm a practitioner there. I see clients one on one. I currently have a client.Few openings for new clients and there are also several other practitioners that have openings for clients as well. So that is an option available to you. Another thing that I haven't announced yet on the podcast is that In April, also in April of this year, I signed a book contract. I am working with Lake Drive Books as my publisher for this book.[00:02:00] And what do you know? The book is about spiritual abuse. It will contain a A lot of my journey, but my journey also entails working with clients, working with survivors through Tears of Eden, there are some genuine quotes that are taken straight from some of the podcast episodes here. So you'll be in familiar territory.One of the gaps in the current literature around spiritual abuse that my book is going to hopefully fill is addressing the reality that The theology and evangelicalism and in the modern day church actually has a massive impact on the rampant abuse that we are now seeing in the church.I haven't seen a lot of that connection made in the current literature that's out there. Our previous guest from last week, Krista Brown, she made that connection really well. Like this theology actually leads to the abuse. So Other than that, I just really haven't seen that much happening. So that's one [00:03:00] of the things that's going to be showing up in this book as well. That's just a little bit of a sneak peek. We'll probably do some sort of launch event through Tears of Eden when it comes out in 2025. The exact date is still to be decided, but subscribe to Tears of Eden's newsletter so that you can get updates on that book when it's coming out and all of the deets around that. The guest today is Maddie Jo Kausert. Maddie Jo was a pastor's kid and proud purity ring wearer, before she moved to New York City and experienced an unexpected worldview and identity implosion, thanks to Tinder and her Jewish roommate.When marriage equality passed in 2015, Maddie Jo decided to share how the queer community was one of the catalysts for questioning everything she'd been taught about this Jesus guy in her first public release blog post entitled, God and the Gays. This was the start of her popular blog.God, sex, and rich people. Before terms like deconstruction, purity culture, or [00:04:00] evangelical became hashtags viewed by billions, God, sex, and rich people exposed the sometimes painful, sometimes hilarious realities of a young female evangelical navigating the diversity of the Big Apple, working for the one percent, And trying to have good sex without hating herself in a city that never sleeps and never stops sleeping around.Her book by the same name releases on September 10th, 2024.Maddie is hilarious and super fun, so I'm very much looking forward to reading her book when it releases. Here is my interview with Maddie Jo Kausert. Katherine: Well, welcome, Glenda, to have you here. I love the title of your book. Why don't you tell us the title of your book? Mattie: I Katherine: will. Mattie: Yes. God's Sex and Rich People, a Recovering Evangelical Testimony. Katherine: Fantastic. And you are coming from New York, where you work as an actor?Mattie: Mm hmm. Katherine: Actor. Mattie: And now [00:05:00] author. Now author. Actor, writer, shameless overshare is what I say. Or sometimes I say actor, writer, babysitter for billionaires. It kind of depends on my crowd. Katherine: Are you still a babysitter for billionaires? Mattie: I am. I am a babysitter. You know, something of the, of the unexpected twists and turns my life has taken.I did not foresee my being like solely raised to be a mom and a wife to be so lucrative. Incredibly lucrative in New York City. There are lots of, of, and I'm not saying this is true of my family, of the family I work for, but there are lots of families in New York that actually don't want to parent their kids.So I'm great. Katherine: Yeah, absolutely. I'm Mattie: good at it. Katherine: Absolutely. Absolutely. I had a life where I nannied. I enjoyed it. I like, Mm-Hmm, . I really enjoyed it. And there are times where I consider going back to it because . Mattie: Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Let me know. I know someone looking for a nanny in [00:06:00] St. Louis.We can get, we can follow up after. Katherine: All right. Let's do it. But yeah. And I had six younger siblings. Mm-Hmm. . And so like, it was like. Super like, I was like, this doesn't work like this. Mattie: Exactly. This is just like my life. Katherine: This is life for me. Yeah. And now I get paid for it.I like this. Yeah. Okay, cool. So, all right. I'm like trying to like in my head, then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Okay. So maybe let's start with your, just like your journey, cause you, you're from Branson, Missouri, and you somehow ended up in New York acting and working with rich people. So tell me How you got from point A to point B.And then if you want to touch on some of the things like the journey, the deconstruction stuff that you you are writing about on your blog and on in your book I would love to hear all of those things and then we can just kind of see where it goes. We're going to have, [00:07:00] we're going to have a great Mattie: time.Great. Yeah. And like I kill, I am a loquacious individual. So if you ever need to stop me and say like, you know, just. Interrupt me whenever. So I was born a preacher's kid which if you were a preacher's kid in the 90s, I mean, there are, there are, You know, different varieties of what that could mean. But my variety was of the, the general Baptist convention, which is not, it is an actual like denomination.It's different from first or second Baptist or Southern Baptist, but like it's, it's generally Baptist, right? I think the only thing that's different, it doesn't matter. There's some theology things, right? And they made their own church from the other Baptists. And. My, I say that, I say this in the book, my roots in evangelicalism are as deep as my roots in America.My great grandfather was a Baptist pastor. My grandfather on that side was a Baptist pastor. On my dad's [00:08:00] side, my grandfather was a Baptist pastor and then my dad became a Baptist pastor. So it's just, it's, this shit's literally in my blood. We were Baptist in terms of, like, the traditionally Baptist, but then we, by junior high, we kind of crossed over into the non denominational world, which was very exciting for people coming from a denomination where there was no dancing Katherine: and Mattie: lustful hip moving. And now we got, like, You know, a full band and cool, like, spinny lights and a sick sound system.It was Katherine: hip Christianity. Mattie: Yes, absolutely. So then I, I and like, I will mention this, the church that my dad was the pastor at before we switched over to the non denom world is was Stuart, our Alan Clark's church. I don't know if you remember him. He's the one that kind of went viral. For saying that, like, basically having a Trump rally at a church for saying, like, if on a Mother's Day service, like, if you [00:09:00] women are, like, too fat, and your husband's not gonna be attracted to you, and he cheats on you, like, all the things we sort of subtly heard in church growing Katherine: up.I've heard, I've heard these, I've heard this before, I wouldn't have connected the name, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Mattie: Super, super great. And he, like, did my He did my grandpa's funeral, like, yeah, so but my, he was not there, obviously, when my dad was the pastor there, but I lived at the parsonage of that church, right?So then for a while, my dad got, like, a normal person job while he was seeking out, you know, different pastoral opportunities, and we, in the meantime, we started going to this non denominational church, and that was really, like, my home church, and then my dad got on staff at that church as the community pastor.So even though he wasn't like at the pulpit, he was still like a big part of it. And that was like my, my high school experience was, being at church so much, I was there like so much and it was my whole social life. And to be honest, I think something I don't really highlight enough is I really loved that experience.Like I loved that I was not [00:10:00] drinking and I wasn't having sex in high school. I got to really enjoy being a kid. And I think a lot of high school. trying not to be the age they are. And I really, I really feel like I got that in high school. And then also like I wasn't really dating and because of like purity rings and everything.So I didn't have the same amount of boy drama that I feel like a lot of girls are distracted from. And then because at church we learned a lot about like, Cultivating deep, meaningful relationships with people. I feel like I had a really strong friend group. So lots of great things came of my, my time at church, right?And then, but along with it, you know, was a lot of really bad shit. And I went to college and I I did go to school for theater. So sort of as a natural outcome of that, I started questioning some of what I was, I had learned in church around gay people going to hell and everything. There's a chapter in my book, it's all caps.Everyone is going to hell. Because like, I had gay [00:11:00] friends and I was like, oh no, all my friends are gonna burn. And And so that was sort of the beginning of me really questioning some of this stuff, but I was still very much in it like I was in a a missions focused group in mission and fellowship focused group throughout college and I had a boyfriend who I totally thought I was going to marry.We did not have sex. We were saving ourselves. That was a bit of a, like, Capulet Montague tale because he was Catholic and my family was Baptist and, you know, the Catholics aren't real Christians. So that was some fun drama, but in, in dating him, I learned a lot about Catholicism and a lot about the roots of Christianity.Whatever. And I really feel like I, I developed a love for liturgy that I didn't get in my non denominational background. So in some ways, I feel like it deepened my spirituality being with him, and because I thought we were going to get married there, There's some stuff I could go back to, but I'll [00:12:00] say this and then go back, I guess.Because I thought we were going to get married, I was okay with like saving myself. Cause I was like, Oh, but we'll still get married by like 22. And then I can have sex. And then we ended up breaking up my, my later in my junior year of college. And I was like, Well I guess that option.Yeah. And also alongside it, all of I, this is part of like the, the rich people part of my story. When I was 14, I decided I was going to go to summer camp. We didn't really have you didn't really have summer camp that wasn't church camp where I was and you didn't, I didn't really have any access to theater training in Branson.I know shocking because of all of the live music, but live entertainment, but it was not the kind of theater I was trying to do. Please. I was Broadway bound, you know? And so my parents were like, well, why don't we, I was going through a pretty rough bout of anorexia and I think it was kind of my parents, like effort of like getting my sparkle back.[00:13:00] You know, they knew I loved theater and whatever. So then I just like Googled this is all in the book. So you can like read it more in depth there. I Googled and I found the top performing arts camp in the country. And I decided, okay, I'll go there. And then I looked at the price tag and I was like, holy shit, people pay this much for camp.And so then I raised the money. I was like, I was like, all right, I'm going to do this. And I like raised the money to go to camp and I ended up doing it. And then upon arriving at camp, I was like, oh. This is why this camp is so expensive. It's just for rich kids. And like, I was this little me from rural Missouri and I had like done a car wash in the Walmart parking lot to be there, you know?And so that was a really interesting culture shock and experience. And then, but it was actually I feel like my, Without having words for it, which is actually a really beautiful thing about like being young. Feel like I really had my first real [00:14:00] connection with the divine at being like in a play at camp.Yeah. Katherine: And, you know, I love that so much. I love that so much. I wonder so much more about that, but yes, continue. Yes. Mattie: So then again, sort of without words, like I never, I was never like, Okay, like I never made like a conscious choice that I was gonna be an actor. I just knew I was gonna be an actor. Yeah. I was like, well, this is what I'm designed to do.I clearly feel the most at home and joyful when I'm doing it. I was really good at it. I was a better actor when I was 14 probably than like college because I was just pure, you know? And and yeah, I was like, And that's when I, yeah, I felt the most connected to God was on, was being in that play. And so then from there on out, I was like, okay, I'm going to go to college for theater and I'm going to, then I'm going to move to New York city.And I did, I, I did those things. But when I was in college, I felt, and I would like visit New [00:15:00] York every year. during spring break and I would feel this pool of like my sense of adventure and my like wanting to perform and having this love for culture and diversity and really being at not, I don't want to say at war, but in conflict with what I was supposed to do as a woman of God, which was like get married. have kids, all of that, right? And I just, I would always wonder, like, how am I going to make these two worlds happen? You know, like Katherine: identity on who you are and what you love. And you're so aware that it doesn't fit. In this system that told you you were supposed to be this thing and how just, oh, yeah, just like the, the confusion that probably resulted from that.And tell me more about that unpack. Yeah, Mattie: so I felt it was just this [00:16:00] conflict of. Of knowing, you know, like part of the brilliant work of the evangelical church and I would argue like, you know, religious systems in general is the their ability to detach individuals from themselves. So I call it like.Self severance and the work of deconstruction is actually integration is like actually getting to know and not vilify your feelings your thoughts your opinions because what are we told like if it's not of the lord it's it's of the flesh right like everything is just a dichotomy of like good and evil and so yeah i again i didn't have words for it but i was like why do i feel more connected to myself And more joyful in New York City with all of these like theater weirdos than at church singing songs, you know, and, or like not even at church singing songs, cause I did like to sing.So I did like that, but I, but more, you know, following the rules, [00:17:00] doing the purity culture thing, showing up in a particular way, not going out and drinking and all of this stuff. And I was like, I just, that just isn't me. Like I'm. I'm like pretty horny and boy crazy and I don't know why that has to make me like less of a Christian But that was that was the competing narrative.Those were the competing narratives, right? It's like to give up my virginity to give up getting married therefore getting married young, right? To give up these things that were so upheld in the evangelical church would mean that I was not living in alignment with God, and I was not living in alignment with my higher calling.And another thing that the evangelical church does so masterfully is they really they really, like, pedestalize Yes. And so Katherine: the Mattie: heart or Katherine: something. Sacrifice. this identity would have been more holy. Mattie: Exactly. Exactly. So luckily [00:18:00] after I went on a mission trip to Indonesia with my missions group where basically the whole time they were just telling us like, look, if you're not willing to like pick up your cross and follow me to Indonesia to be a full time missionary, you don't love Jesus enough.If you are not willing to be a modern day martyr for the Lord. You're not a Christian. Like you just, like your faith isn't actually the most important thing to you. And then making you feel such shame for that. And I came back from that trip and I was like, okay. All right. So first things first, I guess I'll break up with my boyfriend.Cause now I have to move to Indonesia and I don't, I know he doesn't want to do that. And then I'm going to, I guess, finish out my musical theater degree, but I'll, I'll move to. another country in the 1040 window instead of moving to New York City. And I talked to my dad about it and he was like, that is such a pile of crap.Luckily, I say this in the book, I have a, [00:19:00] a father who is like, you know, more like Oprah than he is like, you know Baptist pastor and he was just like to go against what you were designed to do would be going against god What? Yeah, and he was like you Mm hmm. I know i'm really grateful for my parents, which is another thing we can talk about is they're like very like, level headed intellectuals.Well, my dad for sure. My mom is like, very like common sense. So she, for her, it just doesn't compute. She's like, how could you follow Donald Trump and follow Jesus? Those two things are not the same at all. So there, I'm lucky in that regard, for sure. But anyway, so, so Yeah, that was just the the conflict, but I guess because I was not I was only surrounded by people who thought differently than the than the herd, I guess you would say for like one week out of the year It was like one week out of the year.I would go to new york city and I would get a different dose of like this whole vast world [00:20:00] that wasn't my own. But then you, I would go back to Missouri and all those questions that would be festering and everything, they would just get stifled because all I'd have is everybody else in my ear saying something different.And it wasn't until my boyfriend and I like fully broke up and I realized, okay, I am now for sure, for sure. Moving to New York city. Katherine: What was the boyfriend? The Catholic one. Mattie: Yeah, yeah I am for sure for sure moving to New York City And the logistics of that with, like, marriage, I don't know, man.And then, that was really, I would say, like, that was the catalyst for the rest of my undoing. Because now, I really knew I was going to New York. And so, you know, it's like, they say, I had people say to me, well, like, you know, don't let those liberals convert you. So, help. And then I like went, I'm like, well, they did it.They did their, their [00:21:00] wizardry, I guess. But yeah, then once I got to New York and I just say like, just by living there and I can go a little bit more into that if you want me to, but just by living there, I was just sort of constantly accosted by all the ways that. My, the faith that I had been presented that had these like rules really only worked in a very specific culture outside of that culture.They do not work. So I, so then I'm thinking like, but this is the God who created like, Like, you know, like, the, the freaking, like, geysers, and, and like fuzzy caterpillars, and then like, the whole galaxy, and he can't find it in his galacting making heart to love gay people?Like, it just was, I, and the more I was with, you know, These people who were different. I was like, it's just not computing. But you know, honestly, when I moved to New York, I did not yes, the questions were happening and they were definitely like I guess percolating is the right word for it. [00:22:00] But I, I definitely had no intention of like losing my identity as a Christian.I thought, you know, I thought, you know what, I'll work through this like purity culture thing, I'll figure that out first, and the gay people thing and whatever. But then, once I started dissecting scripture, and I started to do a really big deep dive in like history. textual critic, textual criticism, any sort of like breaking down of, of the Bible outside of like the case for Christ, you know, anything that didn't have like a very strict Christian agenda, things that were just scholastic.Like I was literally reading textbooks from like courses at Columbia, you know I was like,don't even think I'm a Christian because if, if I have to believe that Jesus. is the messiah to and that he came here to die for our sins and the resurrection and all of that if i have to believe all of that to be a [00:23:00] christian Katherine: yeah Mattie: i don't think i do Katherine: yeah Mattie: and it was just sort of like to to have continued to buy into it experiencing everything that I was experiencing, learning everything I was learning would have been the ultimate, like, self negligence.Yeah. And I had come too far in my journey of authenticity to do that. Yeah. And like, to be honest, I feel like that was kind of my, like, That was my moment where I was like, I will never turn on myself. Because if I can give up this. Yeah. Which is like everything about me. So now everything's going to unravel now.After this. And it did. And it was not pretty. Then I think I'm gonna always. Be able to know myself and come back to myself. I didn't know that consciously at the time obviously but Which again is like then you're fighting like the youth pastor [00:24:00] jiminy cricket in your head That's like but you're not good.You can't trust yourself. You are sinful, you know, like you can't All of those things. So everything, I just say like deconstructing is just like a total mindfuck. I at least had the privilege of being geographically removed from it, but most people who are deconstructing, like you expressed earlier, it's like they're still very much in it.So I imagine that has to be a lot harder. Like I was in a place where, I use this joke, like if you, if I told people in my circles that I had just gone to a worship service, they'd be like, Oh. An orgy? Like, what does that mean? You know, the language just isn't the same. Katherine: Exactly, and you realize that once you get out of it.It's like, oh, that is like such this insider cellular conversation. And when you start to use those words, and you're like, oh, this sounds so weird. Yes. Sounds weird because it is weird. Yeah. Yeah, because Mattie: it is weird exactly and like the more people that you meet that don't grow up in it. I'm like, that's a really [00:25:00] good like if you really want to like quickly divvy up like what is total bullshit and what is like Okay of what we learned in church, just tell all of the pillars of your youth group lessons to someone who didn't grow up in it and you will figure it out very quickly.Watch their face. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know if you have any questions about that. But yeah, that's how I got from there to here. Katherine: This is a dynamic that I was I would love to discuss with you. So I escaped a cult, like shiny, happy people cult when I was in my mid twenties, and I immediately moved to a different country.And then after that, I went to seminary and then I lived in, I lived in DC and I lived in LA. And I lived in St. Louis for grad school and it, and I can see very starkly the role that [00:26:00] getting out and getting in geographically getting into a different space and being around different people. It just accelerated everything and, so tell me about the role that that played in your life of just like being in the big city and like getting out Mattie: Yeah, I do talk about that a lot, about like, geographical privilege. Because I was not going to lose my entire community if I said I don't think gay people are going to hell. Some people, especially if they're married and they have kids, and like, If they admit that, some of them it's like tied to their income, like I've talked to people who are in the praise band and they are a paid position because it's a mega church, right?Like, well, I shouldn't assume, obviously, like, apparently Hillsong wasn't really paying its musicians. But anyway but this is like, You know, that's a big thing. And so absolutely. [00:27:00] And so I do realize that I had that I was building a new community. However, While I wasn't afraid of like losing my community, I was really afraid of judgment from people back home But really it's because I was judging myself like if I can go back and really look at the fears I had during like what I call my my rubble years, which is like I had knocked down a whole bunch of shit But I had no idea how to rebuild it yet.So I was just kind of like Existing in the atomic wasteland of my previous belief system I think a lot of it was anything I was putting on other people was just stuff that I was fearful of, but reinforced by people saying certain things to me, you know,, like, for example, I went back for a birth or a birthday party.a wedding of my best friend. And the next morning I was like, hey, I have to tell you something. And she goes, Oh my God, did you make that? Did you make out with my brother? And I was like, [00:28:00] no, you know, it was stuff like that. Or like, I went back for, I was like, Katherine: yeah, Mattie: exactly.It's terrible. Although to her credit, I was going to tell her that me and one of our dearest best friends shared mail. I think that detail is probably important just for this context. That we had shared a really sweet goodnight kiss.Like that's what I was gonna tell her so it did have to do with a boy But no, I didn't make out with your brother. And then another time I remember After I had started the blog Going home for like a bridal shower, and we were all We were all going out for, like, drinks, whatever, afterwards and some of the guys, like, drunkenly, like, kind of cornered me, and they were all like, so you think you can tell my, you know, future wife it's okay to do other positions than missionary?Stuff like that. Yeah. Right? It [00:29:00] was this, it was this kind of, or like, I remember one time I went home and for a 10 year reunion and one of my classmates who I'd like been in kindergarten with, he grabbed my butt during a group photo. And I turned around and I looked at him and I was like, what was that?And he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't me to me. And he was like, we know what you write on the internet, Maddie Jo. Oh my god. So it was things like that, that like, you know, these assumptions that just because I was openly talking about sex, that that meant I was sexualized. Yes. Right? Right. And things like that.I was really, that happened pretty frequently. I think that's a Katherine: genuine fear for a lot of women. Who are having these journeys, and I will include myself in that, of like, but I'm not going to talk about it publicly because of, it'll put me in danger to some extent of [00:30:00] like, you become this target, like, you're not allowed to just be sexually free without being a ho.Like, you're not allowed to have sex without being a ho. Like, it's like one or the other. Same double standard rules that have always existed. They just take different forms. Right. Mattie: Is, you're absolutely right. The danger component of it is very true. And then You know, and it happened in New York too, but I started to use it as kind of a sifter.Like if I told guys about my blog and their immediate thought was like, oh, she's DTF. I was like, yeah, you're not it. Like you have, you have shrunken me to a 2D vagina, you know, like, And Katherine: that is a, a perk of that authenticity Mattie: is, Katherine: and I mean, and that's one of the reasons why people won't do it, cause it's like, well guys won't like me.That is actually true. It Mattie: is actually true. You can, but you can totally see like okay, they're either going to be more interested because they think you're just [00:31:00] ready to have sex with anything. Or they're not going to be interested because they think you're ready to have sex with anything, right? Like air quotes.Or the third option is they're like, oh, that's really cool. Can you tell me more about your Tell me more about it. Yeah. Yeah. Which is the only okay response. So what you're doing is you're sifting through what I call the misogynist daywalkers, right? Like these are the ones you don't want. And that lets you know it very quickly.So yeah, to the geographical thing, like I did experience some of that, but the, the removal of it and, oh, here's another thing. I was really afraid my parents weren't going to love me anymore. Like, I know that sounds insane. It doesn't sound insane. Cause I think a lot of people feel that way, but like, I was afraid if I told my parents, like, I, I don't, cause I had, I had realized that so much of like their.Not affirmation, but like approval of me or what I thought anyway, was around my behavior of being the purity princess of [00:32:00] following the rules of being a, a, a Christ like, you know, young woman. And like, what if I wasn't a zealot for any of that anymore? And I was, I was suddenly very zealous for. The opposite of that.I was really afraid my parents were going to disown me. They didn't because luckily they were going through something similar because some iffy stuff was going on at our church that you know, they were like, dude, why are church people like this? You know? So I was calling out a lot of the hypocrisy publicly, but they were experiencing it personally.And so that was again, very lucky, but yeah, being removed from it gave me, I always say like, The greatest gift that New York City gave me was anonymity. Because no one here gave a fuck who I was fucking, when I was fucking, or if I said the word fucking, right? No one was like tone policing me. And I got to just, you know, they say you find out who you really are [00:33:00] when no one's watching.Yeah, absolutely. And what a gift. Yeah, you know to just be Just being able to make decisions without The wrath of the spiritual side eye you're going to get the second you go in for a coffee Katherine: Yeah, Mattie: you know like that was great so I really do and just the ability to be around people from all different walks of life I mean my first apartment in new york city.This is part of the rich people part. I'm miraculously ended up in a very You specific living situation where I lived in like the penthouse apartment of this fancy building you know, leaning lady, like Upper West Side. And it was four of us and one of the guys who lived there, his family used to own the entire building.So that's how he had this apartment. And that I could live there for so inexpensively. But anyways, he was born and raised in New York City, went to like the best boy's school in the country. Jewish, right? And then the other girl that was living with us was born and raised [00:34:00] between New York and India.I'm actually not sure where in India, I should have probably asked. And her family had like tea, a tea business in India, so they were very wealthy, right? And so that's why she was going back and forth between New York and India. And she went to like Harvard Law and Oxford for undergrad. She was Brilliant.And then the other girl was from Sweden and she was an economist and she was an atheist and like very feminist and you know, and I was like, we had more diversity in my apartment than all of Missouri, you know, so getting to hear their perspectives on things, specifically my roommate who owned the apartment was hysterical because he would call me out on things and, you know, like when I would be having these like equally yoked panic attacks, you know, he'd like kind of call me out on like, It's kind of weird.You're so concerned about, like, whether or not he's Mormon. Like, did he tell you he was Mormon? You know, like [00:35:00] so it was, yeah. And, and so that really, where if, if your whole world is just every other weekend, somebody else is getting engaged and you're going to their, like, dry wedding, like, yeah, obviously it's not a very expansive place to explore.Katherine: Yeah. Absolutely. You may already know this, but the uncertain podcast is the affiliate podcast of tears at Eden, a nonprofit that serves as a community and resource for survivors of spiritual abuse. This podcast and the work of tears are supported by donations from generous listeners. Like you. If you're enjoying this podcast, please consider giving a donation by using the link in the show notes or visiting tears of eaton.org/support. You can also support the podcast by rating and leaving a review and sharing on social media. If you're not already following us, please follow us on Facebook at tears of Eden and Instagram at uncertain podcast. Thanks so much for listening.And now back to the show. Katherine: And I think for folks, because a lot of folks, especially like the demographic that I work with, not [00:36:00] a lot, but a percentage of folks when they, a lot of them were on staff in churches and experienced abuse and had to leave these churches and had to leave their livelihoods. And on often, it leads to a geographic.Change. Mattie: Yeah. Katherine: It can be so terrifying and so anxiety inducing. And so I think it's really helpful to hear this very expansive positive side of that, which was also what I experienced too. It's very traumatic to move. Mattie: It's Katherine: very traumatic to be transplanted into a world that is not familiar. That is 100 percent true.But the possibilities for what we can encounter. In these new spaces not a reason for difficult things that we go through. I never, I never want to justify the difficult things or prescribe, Oh, the Lord knew what he was doing. Right, right. But I think it can be just [00:37:00] this beautiful world that it can open for us if we kind of just roll with it.I'm just like, what happens? Mattie: Definitely. Definitely. I mean, like, I'm pretty sure Linda K. Klein even talks about that in her book, Pure, about how, like, even once she was at Sarah Lawrence, I think she, like, took a trip to Australia or something, and that was when it, like, really solidified for her, like, just being away.She was like, yeah, this is just, yeah. Katherine: Yeah, I highly recommend if that is accessible to people, and it's not for everyone, but to The country, get out of your space. Even in a healing season of just like getting out of your space can be so helpful to just not be surrounded by all of these things that are reminding you and, and as you experienced, like just having these things suppressed, like questions that you were having constantly suppressed and you weren't, you weren't in a space where you could ask those questions [00:38:00] and how just like getting out of the space, allowed opportunities.So that's just a suggestion for the audience. Yeah. Mattie: Well, and because I will say this, like, because in evangelical circles, there's such a culture of like accountability. I say with air quotes is like, I know from like watching my older sister kind of go through her own process of deconstruction and my book is actually dedicated to her.I mean like everybody and everybody's business. You know, like you cannot do a damn thing and then and on top of that, like if you are trying to make the decision, you know, like this actually feels really toxic. I'm not going to go to small group anymore. The way they come at you with like every and if you are not yet in a place where you know everything they're saying is bullshit because you have not yet experienced it.experience to the other side of deconstruction, where you really are like more free and you're happier and all of that, then like them coming at you with like, this is just you not wanting to feel convicted. [00:39:00] And this is you like stepping out of accountability in the Lord. This is, you know, like all of those, like, you're going to be like, Oh yeah, you're probably right.Like, you know, it's like, it's impossible. And that's why you have to separate yourself because it's honestly just like really it's manipulation and, and you need new friends and it's like really hard to make new friends when you're in the same place too. I think that's tough too. Katherine: Yeah. And that for forced vulnerability, which is very invasive and very bashing.And I think that that's another beautiful thing on the other side as well of like, we were, we were so responsible for like, you felt like responsible for your gay friends going to hell and, you know, like, and now it's like, Oh, I don't have to be responsible. I don't have to worry about what your belief system is and whether or not you're going to hell.I don't, I don't have to do that. Right. Which is great. Mattie: Right. Katherine: We have a wonderful time together [00:40:00] and I go home and sleep well. Mattie: And you don't have to treat your friends like a social, like like tally mark, right? Like, oh, did I share the bridge analogy with them? If I didn't. I probably don't love them, you know?Like, no, actually, not treating them like an experiment is probably more indicative of your love for them. I remember feeling that in my missions group, too. It's like, Jesus Christ, they'd come at me, I talk about this in my book so people can read more about it there, but they'd come at me with like, How many people did you share the gospel with this week?And I'm like, how many orgasms did you have this week? Probably that many, like, leave me alone. God damn. Katherine: And I would just be so mean. Mattie: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I will say something I went through in my deconstruction to your point of like, these people are not, Like my problem again, one of the like mind fucks is that sorry, I should have asked if I can cuss.I clearly Katherine: can. I need to put that as a note in [00:41:00] the, in, in the calendar thing, because people ask me if it's okay. And I'm totally okay with it, but I was like, I should just Mattie: sorry. Cause I definitely have a potty mouth. But one thing that I really struggled with is, you know, the whole narrative around your behavior.Is or isn't leading people to Christ. So like when I was going through again, what I call like my rubble years, and I was like, always afraid that like, I couldn't just sin and peace, right? Like internally, every time I like had sex with a guy, I was like, Oh no, if anyone who used to know me as a Christian finds out I'm having sex outside of marriage, Then, what if they think it's okay for them to have sex outside of marriage and then they stop being a Christian and then I'm responsible for them going to hell.I don't really care what they do, I just want to do me. And I just like, couldn't. You know, like, just living my life all the time, I was like, afraid there was like, someone from my past lurking around the corner, like, [00:42:00] ready to not be a Christian too, just like me, even though I didn't know I wasn't a Christian for like, a long time, I didn't admit that to myself.But, yeah, I just remember feeling like, crap, so not only am I afraid I'm going to hell, I'm afraid anyone who is witnessing my behavior is also going to hell because of me. Katherine: That's a lot of pressure. It is! A lot of pressure, and it is unnecessary pressure. Yes. It's so much better. Interested in listening to more than 40 archived Uncertain Podcast episodes? All you have to do is sign up to become a monthly supporter of 5 or more. Becoming a monthly supporter will give you access to popular episodes such as Confessions of a Christian Parent and When Bad People Do Good Things.You'll also get access to this episode without any interruptions from yours truly. Become a monthly supporter today by going to tiersofedian. org slash support. Katherine: In the time that we have left, I would love [00:43:00] to discuss so you said that you had this divine experience in a play.What role has art played in that? In your journey? Mattie: Oh, I love that question. Oh my gosh. It's played the, it's played such a big role. I, you know, little like, theater role double entendre. Yeah. I, when I first came to New York, I was,I was going to school. Well, okay. Sorry. Backtrack. . I feel like the biggest role that it has played in my life and particularly my spiritual life is that when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, your life will always be great.Yeah. Like that doesn't mean that you're not going to have hard times. Like I was taken, I was in a movie right now that has 100 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and is number two in the country. My three scenes. Cut. [00:44:00] I am not in the movie. Like, it's not, it's a, like, it's not that it's not, you know, devastating at times and everything, but you know, I didn't know what I was doing when it came to pursuing theater professionally.I didn't know anything like there's a whole thing you're supposed to do if you're going to school for theater and do all the auditions and whatever. I didn't know any of that. All I knew is that I really liked to act. I was okay at singing. And if someone took some time, I could probably figure out dance.And so I just auditioned for two schools. I got into one for their BFA programs. So I just went to the one that I got into. And then even once I left that program, like I just kept, I started to do musical theater professionally or pursue it professionally in New York city. And even after four years, again, getting connected to myself and my, My feelings and everything.I just came to this point where I was like, this is [00:45:00] so hard. And because I'm Midwestern, I don't know if it's hard because it's supposed to be, like, everything takes hard work, or if it's hard because this just isn't the right path for me. And I would think about camp and I would try to think about the times where I really felt connected and I was like I'm not connected when I sing or when I dance.I am so in my head about hitting the notes and hitting the choreography. I can't even think about acting, which is the part I actually enjoy. Yeah. So I decided, you know what? I'm not going to pursue musical theater anymore for like a hot second and just try to act. For a year, I'm going to plant myself in New York City and I'm just going to pursue acting jobs and like see how it goes.And the pressure, like I was, I was, so much more successful at auditioning. I was booking like crazy. [00:46:00] I was having, I had far more success in that one year of pursuing, but of pursuing acting work than I had been in four years of musical theater. And yeah, I've just continued. So now I just do like on camera acting and like plays when they come up, but.And then same with writing. Like, I've always been a writer. I just never wrote publicly. And so when I started releasing my blogs in 2015, it wasn't because I thought I was a writer. I just did something that I found really, like, it was so enjoyable. And not always, right? Because I, I think Glennon Doyle has this, this quote that's like, I don't like writing.I like having written. You know, it's like the putting it together is like, Oh, sometimes it's really hard, but I really enjoyed the process of like, piecing together a story in a way that was engaging. And like, I just really, really loved it. And so I've always [00:47:00] followed those, that those impulses, like these sort of, I remember I had this moment, you know, it's dating this guy and he was like rich, whatever he was in finance.And he sort of had this like, promise of, a less hard life for me. Cause he would take care of the bills and da da da da da da. And so I was like, man, it would be nice to not be juggling like acting and 50 different babysitting jobs and just to live in like a shitty apartment. So I was talking to a mentor of mine and Oh, and there was also this promise of like going back to Germany.Not promise, but potential going back to Germany. Cause that's where he was from, whatever. So I was talking to this mentor of mine of like, okay, should I just like, you know, get a normal job and sort of like go on this track of like building a life with him and you know, going that way and she was like, well, why, why do you act Maddie Joe?Like, why do you want to act? And I just like looked at her and I said two things and I didn't even think about it. And I just said, [00:48:00] because I love it and I have to, and like following that impulse, like not even thinking of it, but being like, no, that's just my truth. Like, it sounds so cliche, but like, that's just my truth, you know?And then I had my mom and I was talking to her. She was like, you've worked so hard to create this whole life for yourself. And you're just going to move to Germany for this guy. Like, you know, so I did have some like you know, strong women in my ears. So that was good. But yeah, I think it's been the way.That I feel most connected to truth and my knowing and like, it's the thing that has kept me pursuing again to go back to the beginning, pursuing a life of authenticity over dogma or what is right quote unquote, right? What is logical even and that that's not to say that I'm not logical I am like I have a full time job that I also do with all of this other stuff But I just always have to go back to those things because I really believe those things being like acting and writing and the [00:49:00] belief that like I was designed with a certain skill set and with a passion to do it, so I need to do it, because I really believe that why, and this isn't to like diminish or belittle mental health, but I think the reason why we have a lot of mental health in our country is because we don't have a society or an economic system that allows people to explore the things they were actually meant to do.We, we have a society that celebrates a very specific You know, kind of financial success. And then like for me, I have a job. Katherine: Great. But not everyone does. Mattie: Not everyone is. We don't, we don't celebrate that. It takes all kinds. Right. And we decide what is worth what kind of money. So like, even though the guy trading, on wall street is doing nothing to better the world, literally nothing.Right? Like, he's just making rich people richer. Connecting a global economy, maybe. Like, maybe. It's [00:50:00] a stretch. But that motherfucker makes millions of dollars. The person stacking your shelves at Trader Joe's because it's a less whatever, like, skilled job? Not worth it. Unless we're in a pandemic and then they're considered an essential worker.Right? Like, It's just, I don't know so it's hard for people to pursue the things that they love in the capacity that I do, and we have lots of other systems in place that make it harder for other people from other incomes, , but but I do think that, like, if you don't do the thing you were looking for.Designed to do you will just keep finding ways to feel better, whether it's antidepressants or an addiction or, you know, whatever it is, avoidance until you just do that thing Katherine: exactly. And then you lay on the teaching and the Christianity. And the, how you're not supposed to have your own desires and they're supposed to be God's desires and we're [00:51:00] conditioned to fear our desires or to doubt them or mistrust them.It takes incredible amount of courage to say, I'm worth it and like my desires matter and these things that I want to do really matter and they're worth, they're worth taking that risk to pursue. And especially for women, I Mattie: think, especially for Katherine: women of, of where ours is always supposed to be subjugated to like a family, like having a family or a spouse or something like that.And and having to create that path is very, very challenging. What do you think, just as we're wrapping up, what are some things that you would share with folks who are Kind of on that same journey, either the deconstruction journey or just like pursuing, pursuing dreams [00:52:00] in the, in the aftermath of all of this toxic teaching that we got.Mattie: Yeah. Oh man. Well, one thing I wanted to say about like the, the desires thing, right? Two things is like, women aren't even allowed to desire An attractive person like we're not even allowed to say like, oh, I actually don't find this guy Very hot and so I don't want to be in a relationship with him because I am not attracted to him because we are always supposed to we are expected to always put like emotional connection above all right as if Me wanting to be attracted to my partner means that I don't also prioritize emotional connection, right?Like, these are the kinds of very nuanced ways that I had to pick apart narratives that I would come up against in a pursuit of following my desires. And then there's also, like, the worst thing to be as a woman, but also as an evangelical woman, for [00:53:00] sure, is selfish. It's because selfishness is a sin and we make selfish in those circles synonymous with like what do I say?Like a, a, a heartless bag of dicks. Like you're just so mean and you don't care about anybody else and you don't care how your actions affect anyone else. It's like, So it takes so much courage. Like I talked to women who have left marriages and whatever. And it's like, Oh my gosh, I huge kudos to them because that takes so much courage to just be like, this is not for me.And I actually didn't even choose this. I was just kind of like conditioned into it. And and to be selfish, it's not to be a heartless bag of dicks with zero empathy. To be selfish means that you prioritize yourself and if, if you're in a relationship, like if you can't even be good with yourself, you will not be good in your relationship, but we really vilified self focus, especially in evangelical circles, right?[00:54:00] What I would say to. You know, anyone in this deconstruction journey and like the pursuit of desire or dreams or whatever. I would say Trust trust the process It's not linear. And if you're going through it right now, there are So many resources when I was going through it. We didn't have words like purity culture or deconstruction or any of that So it felt very lonely, but now there are entire communities on my You On my website, I have a purity culture resource guide that in and of itself is going to be a really good start.And once you start clicking on some of these things on Instagram, the algorithm is going to know what you're looking for, and it's going to give you more of what you're looking for. So you can get communities, you can get books, you can get podcasts and then, yeah, just like, Get really good at sort of the personal development side of it, which is like self aware about what are your thoughts, identifying your thoughts, where are they coming from?[00:55:00] Because another masterful manipulation tool, the evangelical church knew about is neuro pathways. Your brain doesn't know the difference between a truth and a lie. It only knows what you tell it is the truth and what you tell it is a lie. So you actually have this amazing power as an individual to reconstruct what you believe is true and what you believe is a lie.And it takes work, right? It takes like, I call it like Jedi mind tricks, right? Like watch your thoughts. You got to grab your thoughts and then you got to decide, see where it's coming from, examine it, and then replace it with a new thought. And then before you know it, you really will have like a whole different brain chemistry happening.And you won't be so afraid of like going to hell if you don't do a morning Devo. But I think, I think don't underestimate the power of like the sort of like personal development of it all because you really are trying to change your brain and your truth.Oh, here's the other thing. You actually have a say in your [00:56:00] life. You are not actually at the whims of whether God is blessing you or punishing you. And that's where That's where that brain reconstruction happens because I, I cannot tell you how much better my life got when I learned that.And I, and I realized, oh my gosh, I really have been existing in this space. And I talk a lot about this in the book of like, everything I do is just a system of like punishment and reward. And now I have this, broader perspective and I actually have a say in my life and you actually have a say in your life.So and then yeah, if you keep putting off pursuing what you know, know you're called to do and it doesn't have to be big, right? Not everybody has to like, you know, have like go through a divorce and like become a van person. It can be as small as like, I really think I'm a writer. I'm going to take 15 minutes to write every day.It can be that, that. So yeah, I don't know if that was helpful or super blah, blah, blah, Katherine: but [00:57:00] absolutely no. And I think it's just helpful for folks to hear, especially because I feel like there's a lot of material about like the process of deconstruction and what's, you know, how to do it and I love opportunities to kind of talk about like. on the other side of it. Yes. After some of the mess has died down and some of the consternation has has settled a little bit. Right. Mattie: And beware of like the deconstruction movement being a little bit like, oh, we're just being zealous in a totally other way.Like it is becoming borderline dogmatic and some of it, you Katherine: know, it is. Yeah. Mattie: So there's no, there is no right way to do deconstruction. There is no, like you The hardest part of life is that there's, we have very little control and that most everything falls outside of a [00:58:00] category. And so the human design is to want to package everything pretty, pretty well.simply, but that's just not what being human is. And so your role is to, your job is to just develop tools like through the self help and through therapies and different modalities of how to navigate that, but how you navigate it is not a standard, you know? Katherine: Yep. Absolutely. And, and us by telling folks where they can find your, all of your things and follow you and prep to find your book.Mattie: So I do have a blog, so in the meantime, while you're waiting for the book to come out, which is September 10th, 2024 mark your calendars. I have an arsenal of amazing writing if I do say so of myself on my blog. So it's maddiejoecowsert. com. I'm sure it'll be in the show notes. Forward slash or backslash.I can't remember God, sex and rich people, the word. And or if you just Google Maddie Joe Cowsert. You'll find God, sex and rich [00:59:00] people. It's pretty high on my SEO. And then Instagram is at Maddie Joe Cowsert. So my name and subscribe to the blog because I'm making announcements there. But also it's just like, there's a lot there that I talk about dating.I talk about sex. I talk about faith. I talk about feminism. You know, so, and like what that even is and how it gets such a bad name or bad rap. And And I talk about sexual trauma therapy. I talk about my experience with sexual violence. And so there's a lot on there that you're not just going to get from this, like one hour podcast.And so I just encourage you to just go crazy and peruse. And most of them are like an eight minute read at most. And then my book is coming out, like I said, September 10th and we're not doing pre orders. So how we're doing it is just mark your calendars and buy the book on the day of. and leave a review you know, hopefully within like 20 days of it being out and an honest review.I won't ask you for a five star review, but an honest review because what that does is [01:00:00] as soon as a book goes live, the amount of like sales it has is really what matters. The pre sale thing is just if you're doing like your publisher wants to know how interested people are in your book. So I'm just like, whatever.Everybody just go buy it on the day. Mark your calendar, go buy it on the day. That is the biggest ask I could have from you. And then if you are interested in being part of my launch team, you can DM me and ask me about that, and I can send you, like, what that would entail. You would get an advanced manuscript, and then you would get, like, visuals of things to put on your social media, to kind of, like, shout it out.And, yeah, and then on my website, I have been on like a ton of other podcasts as well, so if you want to check out those, all the links are there yeah, but Instagram is really the most. I do have a Facebook page for God, Sex, and Rich People, but Instagram is, is the best. And we're going to be doing a launch, an in person launch as well.I'm going to try to stream it virtually because I also shot a pilot, a God, Sex, and Rich People pilot back in 2021, and I'm going to finally be airing that publicly. So, yeah, lots [01:01:00] happening. Thanks Katherine: Yeah, all right, everybody. I will put all the links in the show notes and keep an eye out for that book and all of the other things.Thanks so much. Uncertain is produced, recorded, edited, and hosted by me, Katherine Spearing. Intro music is from the band Green Ashes. I hope you've enjoyed this podcast. And if you have, please take a moment to like subscribe and leave a review. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you next time.

As the Sarah Lawrence Sex Cult trial continues to move on, we are starting to get more information about the alleged John's involved and who they are. As usual, it is a list of the affluent who think that the rules are made for you and I but not them. Now the question becomes, will any of them be held accountable? (commercial at 8:50)To contact me:bobbycapucci@protonmail.comsource:https://nypost.com/2022/03/30/money-paid-by-johns-revealed-in-sarah-lawrence-sex-cult-trial/

As the Sarah Lawrence Sex Cult trial continues to move on, we are starting to get more information about the alleged John's involved and who they are. As usual, it is a list of the affluent who think that the rules are made for you and I but not them. Now the question becomes, will any of them be held accountable? (commercial at 8:50)To contact me:bobbycapucci@protonmail.comsource:https://nypost.com/2022/03/30/money-paid-by-johns-revealed-in-sarah-lawrence-sex-cult-trial/

TIME STAMPS: 07:01 Tips to pre-plan and keep your SWEET TOOTH in check when you travel! 09:34 Audio recordings of MEAT-BASED BODYBUILDERS who no longer consume fiber and what their experience has been since. 15:05 How fiber (almost) RUINED MY LIFE. 18:08 What to REALLY DO if you're CONSTIPATED!!! (don't eat fiber) 22:01 Problems created by an overproduction of Candida–type of yeast that naturally occurs in the intestines, on the skin, and in mucous membranes. 26:06 GERD & HEARTBURN. 27:52 Why HUMANS are APEX PREDATORS like lions, sharks and leopards! (We are not monkeys). 30:04 Are you BLOATED? Here's how fiber causes bloat and how to determine whether this is the cause and how to tell the difference between SATIETY and “bloat.” 31:13 Why the digestive system of a human being cannot break down fiber like a cow can. 32:20 Anecdotal evidence from high-level athletes concerning BOWEL MOVEMENTS since eliminating fiber. 37:00 IF FIBER IS SO BAD THEN WHY IS IT SO POPULAR? 37:29 ANTI-SEX HEALTH VILLAIN #1: Sylvester Graham (1794-1851) 39:45 ANTI-SEX HEALTH VILLAIN #2: John Harvey Kellogg (1852-1943) 42:01 Who's FUNDING fiber studies anyway!? Here's who. 51:42 ENTERITIS: Inflammation of the small intestine; fiber brings all of the digestive enzymes and bacteria that it's collected through your digestive track which has way more ACIDITY than what the mucosal membrane  of the small intestine can handle. 54:07 Cases of Cron's disease are RISING in clear correlation with fiber consumption.  55:00 Examples of “GOOD DOCTORS” & “BAD DOCTORS” (aka “health villains”). 57:52 FIBER FOLLOWS YOU INTO THE BEDROOM!!! Detrimental side effects fiber has on BOTH MEN AND WOMEN that negatively impact their ability to “get the job done.” 58:49 Why fiber causes SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION and INFERTILITY. 01:01:12 Why FIBER DOES NOT REDUCE YOUR RISK FOR HEART DISEASE. 01:10:04 “Bulking” and “Cutting” - how this all changes when you go carnivore if you are a bodybuilder. SUPERSETYOURLIFE.COM is a HEALTH-FIRST movement dedicated to empowering your aesthetic journey, specializing in KETO-CARNIVORE nutrition and BODYBUILDING coaching plans. Looking for some mid-workout entertainment and motivation? Stream The SuperSetYourLife.Com Podcast from any platform. We publish every MONDAY and FRIDAY! 30-minute consultation with Coach Colt: https://calendly.com/ssyl/1-on-1-consultation-30-min SUPERSET Coaching membership inquiries: https://calendly.com/ssyl/meet-greet

Mike recalls more memories from living in New York City and San Francisco in 1999. Topics discussed include: East Side Inc, Nalla Smith, Dash Snow (Sace), Agathe, Wall Street heist, John the Fencer, Kunle (Earshot), Tom of Finland cop tattoo, Titpig, Sarah Lawrence girl, Brendan Fowler, Ashley Macomber, Isaac Ramos, Wes Lang, Hoboken, layering tattoos, Body and Soul, European tourists, Joe Claussell, Danny Krivit & François K, seamless mixing, thunderstorm, Buter, Laura Ward, Sarah's visit, lightning storm at Empire State Building, Rocksteady Crew party, Bobby Tribal, Martin Luther King and Hip Hop, “show and prove”, Kevin LeBlanc, cultural appropriation vs client satisfaction, Bill Canales, Jason McAfee, Regina, tattoos with sexual meanings, Flyrite Tattoos, Elio España, Kelly Krantz, Dan Higgs, Rule of Thirds, re-using needles, McAfee's hand tattoo, The Heart Design, friends choosing flash for each other, Wane COD, bucket fill pieces, CoOp housing, 7A restaurant, out past dawn, Brett's house party, drinking with Sace, cities at 4am, walking home drunk and shower of shame.

On November 30, 2021, when Ethan Crumbley opened fire on his classmates at Oxford High School killing four students, the reactions to this modern American phenomenon were sadly familiar. The events that unfolded in the aftermath of the Michigan shooting, however, were anything but. The teenage assailant's parents, Jennifer and James, were thrust into the national spotlight, when, in an unprecedented turn of events, the two were charged in connection with their son's acts of violence. Raising questions about parental responsibility, agency and what could have been done to prevent the heartbreaking tragedy, Law and Crime presents the most in-depth analysis to date – exploring these complex questions and more by taking you behind the scenes of the historic trials of Jennifer and James Crumbley in SINS OF THE CHILD. You can listen to SINS OF THE CHILD exclusively and ad-free with Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi Everyone, We're a little late with this episode and it's all my fault! As I mentioned in my May 1st blog post (sign up here for updates), for the first time in four years, I conducted an amazing interview with Sheila Kohler and forgot to hit record on Zoom. Sheila--the most gracious person on Earth--forgave me for wasting 45 minutes of her time and agreed to re-record the episode. Thank you to Sheila for sitting down with me twice! After I recovered from the shame, I realized this might be a great boon for readers. I loved Cracks—the short story, the novel, and the movie! You will find links to all three below. It was fascinating to talk about Sheila's adaptation from short story to novel and to hear about the making of the movie and the decision to set the movie in England rather than South Africa. I hope you have had time to read the short story and the novel. What did you think of the movie? Let me know if you have any follow-up questions or comments. I would love to hear. Here are the links: Content Warning: Sexual Assault Cracks, the short story, by Sheila Kohler Cracks, The Novel by Sheila Kohler, available at Bookshop and Amazon. Cracks, The Movie In other news... I am taking a sabbatical from the podcast this summer to rest, regroup, and figure out what direction to take this show in in the future. I love doing it, but every now and then, I think it's a good idea to reevaluate and hone in on what has been valuable and what parts need to go. My first guest in the fall is Tim Tomlinson. Although I will be talking to him about one of his short stories, he has a new book coming out this month. It looks terrific! Check out kellyfordon.com for a picture of the cover and publication information from Nirala. Cheers! Kelly Sheila Kohler Bio: Sheila Kohler was born in Johannesburg, South Africa, the younger of two girls. Upon matriculation at 17 from Saint Andrews, with a distinction in history (1958), she left the country for Europe. She lived for 15 years in Paris, where she married, did her undergraduate degree in literature at the Sorbonne, and a graduate degree in psychology at the Institut Catholique. After raising her three girls, she moved to the USA in 1981, and did an MFA in writing at Columbia. In the summer of 1987, her first published story, “The Mountain,” came out in “The Quarterly” and received an O.Henry prize and was published in the O.Henry Prize Stories of 1988. It also became the first chapter in her first novel, “The Perfect Place,” which was published by Knopf the next year. Knopf also published the first volume of her short stories, “Miracles in America,” in 1990. Kohler has won two O.Henry prizes for “The Mountain” 1988 and “The Transitional Object” 2008. She has been short-listed in the O.Henry Prize Stories for three years running: in 1999 for the story, “Africans”; in 2000 for “Casualty,” which had appeared in the Ontario Review; and 2001 for “Death in Rome,” a story which had appeared in The Antioch Review. “Casualty” was also included in the list of distinguished stories in The Best American Short Stories of 2001. In 1994 she published a second novel, “The House on R Street,” also with Knopf, about which Patrick McGrath said, in “The New York Times Book Review: ” “Sheila Kohler has achieved in this short novel a remarkable atmosphere, a fine delicate fusion of period, society and climate.” In 1998 she published a short story, “Africans,” in Story Magazine, which was chosen for the Best American Short Stories of 1999, was read and recorded at Symphony Space and at The American Repertory Theatre in Boston and was translated into Japanese. It was also included in her second collection of stories,” One Girl,” published by Helicon Nine, which won the Willa Cather Prize in 1998 judged by William Gass. In 1999 she published her third novel, “Cracks,” with Zoland, which received a starred review from Kirkus, was nominated for an Impac award in 2001, and was chosen one of the best books of the year by Newsday and by Library Journal.” Cracks” also came out with Bloomsbury in England, was translated into French and Dutch, and will come out in Hebrew. It has been optioned six times by Killer films and Working Track 2. The film premiered at the Toronto Film Festival in September, 2009, and at the London film festival and came out here in the summer of 2010 and is now on Netflix. It is directed by Jordan Scott, with Eva Green in the role of Miss G. In 2000 Kohler received the Smart Family Foundation Prize for “Underworld,” a story published in the October “Yale Review.” In 2001 she published her fourth novel,” The Children of Pithiviers,” with Zoland, a novel about the concentration camps during the Vicky Period in France in Pithiviers and Beaune la Rolande. In 2003 she was awarded a fellowship at the Dorothy and Lewis B. Cullman Institute to work on a historical novel based on the life on the Marquise de la Tour du Pin, a French aristocrat who escaped the Terror by bringing her family to Albany, New York. Also that year she published her third volume of short stories, “Stories from Another World” with the Ontario Review Press. She won the Antioch Review Prize in 2004 for work in that magazine. Both “ The Perfect Place” and “Miracles in America” came out in England with Jonathan Cape and in paperback with Vintage International. “The Perfect Place” was translated into French, German, Japanese, and Portuguese. Her fifth novel, “Crossways,” came out in October, 2004, also, with the Ontario Review Press edited by Raymond Smith and Joyce Carol Oates. It received a starred Kirkus Review and is out in paperback with the Other Press as well as “The Perfect Place.” Kohler has published essays in The Boston Globe, Salmagundi (summer 2004, 2009), The Bellevue Literary magazine, and O Magazine,”The Heart Speaks” ( May 2004), “What Happy Ever After Really Looks Like” (2008) and reviews in The New Leader and Bomb as well as essays in The American Scholar in 2014 and 2015. Kohler began teaching at The Writer's Voice in 1990, going on from there to teach at SUNY Purchase, Sarah Lawrence, Colgate, CCNY , Bennington and Columbia. She has taught creative writing at Princeton since 2008 and now teaches freshman seminars there . Sheila's sixth novel, “Bluebird or the Invention of Happiness” was published in 2007, and the paperback was published with Berkely in 2008. “The Transitional Object” in Boulevard won an O.Henry prize and is included in the 2008 volume. Her tenth book, “Becoming Jane Eyre” came out with Viking Penguin in December, 2009, and was a New York Times editor's pick. Casey Cep wrote in the Boston Globe about this novel: “With an appreciation for their craft and sympathy for their difficult profession, Kohler's “Becoming Jane Eyre'' is a tender telling of the Brontë family's saga and the stories they told.” Her eleventh book “Love Child” was published by Penguin in America and by La Table Ronde in France. In June of 2012, her twelfth book “The Bay of Foxes,” was published by Penguin. “Dreaming for Freud” was published by Penguin in 2014. It will be translated into Turkish In 2013 the story, “Magic Man” was published in Best American Short Stories. Sheila Kohler published her memoir “Once we were sisters” in 2017 with Penguin in America and with Canongate in England and Alba in Spain. Sheila's latest novel is “Open Secrets” published by Penguin in July 2020. Kohler currently lives in New York and Amagansett. ***

This week the tables are turned and Tim Kail acts as guest as Director of the Library, Mustafa Sakarya asks questions. They discuss the past, present, and future of the podcast, becoming the official podcast of Sarah Lawrence, and why Tim values each listener so much. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to take the college tour. Thank you for listening!

TIME STAMPS: 01:04 INTRO TO KETOACIDOSIS: A state of CONFUSION, FATIGUE, WEAKNESS, & NAUSEA caused by an overproduction of acids resulting from PROTEIN CATABOLISM (very bad, very scary!) 04:04 Who all should be concerned about diabetic keto acidosis (DKA)? 08:08 WARNING SIGNS that you may be headed for DKA. 11:55 INSPIRING LESSONS LEARNED from attending the 2024 NPC Emerald Cup! 13:03 Make-up & hair-style tips for bikini competitors. 14:05 Why competitors should make eye contact with the judges when they are on stage. 15:05 Confidence & stage presence. 17:21 Sarah's go-to “mostly animal-based” NOOTROPIC KETO COFFEE recipe! 23:20 “Take away the dross from the silver and the smith has material for a vessel.” Proverbs 25:4 (one of my favorite proverbs for cutting) 24:00 Does God approve of the CARNIVORE DIET?! https://www.youtube.com/@CarnivoreJosh 27:02 Answering a question on how to GAIN WEIGHT on the CARNIVORE DIET (bulk). 30:49 SUPER SERMON: SUFFERING (1 Peter CH1-5) - 4 KEYS TO SUFFERING FOR CHRIST “The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, establish, STRENGTHEN, and support you after you have suffered a little while.” (1 Peter 5:10) Do you like RIBEYES? Search Carnivore Coaches Corner (the #1 bodybuilding podcast in England) on any platform for our NUTRITION PODCAST co-hosted with Coach Mark Ennis! SUPERSET Coaching membership inquiries: https://calendly.com/ssyl/meet-greet Information on The Open Natural: https://www.theopennatural.com/Home

Book A Call & Learn More About Inner Circle – https://calendly.com/laurenluckey-morelglobal/15min Join Us At AWAKEN Your Highest Self – https://www.dannymorel.com/awaken This week on The Higher Self, we're thrilled to welcome a special guest from our Inner Circle, comedian Sarah Lawrence. Sarah joined the Inner Circle following a transformational experience at our event, "AWAKEN Your Highest Self." Since then, she has achieved remarkable breakthroughs, partly through her first experiences with plant medicine journeys. In this episode, Danny and Sarah about Sarah's journey, what she has gone through and how she has discovered her purpose after "doing the work". Sarah's story serves as a powerful inspiration for others on their path to discovering their highest self. Reunion Experience – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reunionexperience.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (use the code: DannyReunion) Interested in sponsoring The Higher Self Podcast – https://www.dannymorel.com/podcast-sponsors/ _________ Sarah Lawrence: Sarah Lawrence is an Australian comedian living in West Hollywood. She has performed nationwide and at all the major clubs in Los Angeles, including The Laugh Factory, where she was chosen for their Fresh Faces showcase. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesarahlawrence Sarah Lawrence - Plant Medicine (Comedy Special): https://youtu.be/b1FXBzhdBhM?si=ReZ90S8gSpFn7iCo _________ Join Our Community – https://www.dannymorel.com/awakenu Join Us At AWAKEN Your Highest Self – https://www.dannymorel.com/awaken Connect with Danny: Website | https://www.dannymorel.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/dannymorel/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/dannymorel/ Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/Danny.Morel.Page

Book A Call & Learn More About Inner Circle – https://calendly.com/laurenluckey-morelglobal/15min Join Us At AWAKEN Your Highest Self – https://www.dannymorel.com/awaken This week on The Higher Self, we're thrilled to welcome a special guest from our Inner Circle, comedian Sarah Lawrence. Sarah joined the Inner Circle following a transformational experience at our event, "AWAKEN Your Highest Self." Since then, she has achieved remarkable breakthroughs, partly through her first experiences with plant medicine journeys. In this episode, Danny and Sarah about Sarah's journey, what she has gone through and how she has discovered her purpose after "doing the work". Sarah's story serves as a powerful inspiration for others on their path to discovering their highest self. Reunion Experience – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reunionexperience.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (use the code: DannyReunion) Interested in sponsoring The Higher Self Podcast – https://www.dannymorel.com/podcast-sponsors/ _________ Sarah Lawrence: Sarah Lawrence is an Australian comedian living in West Hollywood. She has performed nationwide and at all the major clubs in Los Angeles, including The Laugh Factory, where she was chosen for their Fresh Faces showcase. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesarahlawrence Sarah Lawrence - Plant Medicine (Comedy Special): https://youtu.be/b1FXBzhdBhM?si=ReZ90S8gSpFn7iCo _________ Join Our Community – https://www.dannymorel.com/awakenu Join Us At AWAKEN Your Highest Self – https://www.dannymorel.com/awaken Connect with Danny: Website | https://www.dannymorel.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/dannymorel/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/dannymorel/ Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/Danny.Morel.Page

The true story of a sex cult of students from Sarah Lawrence told in the victims' own words -- a tale of control, sex trafficking, violent assault and extortion, all orchestrated by a master manipulator. LOOKING FOR MORE TCO? On our Patreon feed, you'll find over 400 FULL AD-FREE BONUS episodes to BINGE RIGHT NOW! Including our episode-by-episode coverage of "Love Has Won", "The Curious Case of Natalia Grace," "House of Haammer" "Trainwreck: Woodstock '99," "Bad Vegan" "LuLaRich" "John Wayne Gacy: Devil in Disguise" "Night Stalker" "The Jinx," "Making A Murderer," "The Staircase," "I'll Be Gone in the Dark," "A Wilderness of Error" "The Vow"  "Tiger King" "Don't F**K With Cats," "The Menendez Murders," "The Murder of Laci Peterson," "Casey Anthony: American Murder Mystery," "Serial," "Lorena," "The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann," "OJ: Made in America" and so many more! 

TIME STAMPS: 00:18 Sarah Lawrence is one of our fearless KETO/CARNIVORE BIKINI COMPETITORS! 01:05 Ezekiel 3:3 - “Son of man, he said to me, “eat (literally ‘FEED YOUR BELLY') and fill your stomach with this scroll I am giving you.” So I ate it, and it was as sweet as honey in my mouth.” 02:02 About Sarah: from being raised KETO, going to a STANDARD AMERICAN DIET, and now going BACK TO KETO. Summary of all she's learned in the process. 10:29 Favorite flavors and ways to eat KETO BRICKS! 12:24 Thoughts on training FASTED vs. training FED. 20:21 Reading, prayer & discussion over Ezekiel Chapter 3 CSB & NASB. 34:02 KEY VERSE: “The hand of the LORD was upon him.” Ezek. 1:3, 3:14, 3:22 Any phrase used repeatedly like this highlights its importance. Ezekiel's new role as a prophet and a watchman is an intimidating task that is possible only with the help of God. 37:14 The truth behind the meaning of EZEKIEL BREAD! 39:12 Jesus and Ezekiel both represent HUMANITY. This term is not condescending but rather emphasizes that God is God, and Ezekiel is not God. God used Ezekiel to speak to mankind in 593BC. Today Jesus Christ is our Mediator and High Priest forever through by Him alone may we abide with our Heavenly Father (Hebrews 7:17, John 15:4-9) 44:10 How the story of Ezekiel shows that God holds leaders (including coaches!) to higher standards. 45:32 Contest prep update & overview of Sarah's MEAL PLAN. 50:15 Steakhouses & Mexican Food: EATING OUT on contest prep without blowing your diet! 52:04 Sarah's homemade SALAD DRESSING (avocado oil, olive oil, & mostly animal-based ingredients otherwise). 01:00:33 Common CHALLENGES making the adjustment to LOW VOLUME HIGH INTENSITY weight training. 01:04:32 Best ways to keep your HORMONES HEALTHY on contest prep if you're a NATURAL BODYBUILDER. 01:07:39 The most important muscle groups for the BIKINI CATEGORY and how to know if you have the best genetics for this category. 01:10:41 Walkthrough of an 8-MINUTE HOME AB WORKOUT: Russian V Sits, Australian Crawls, V Sit Scissor Kicks, J-Hawk Push-Ups. Two rounds of 30” work / 30” rest. Here's how you do it! 01:19:22 Athlete Spotlight:“Carnivore” Josh Vanbronckhorst Arizona, US IG: carnivorejosh YouTube: Gerd, Gastritis, & Chronic Fatigue CURED By Eating Meat & Salt, with “Carnivore Josh!” Gained 29 lbs in 2 years finishing a natural bulk on the carnivore diet (mostly muscle).  “Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel.” Proverbs 25:4 We now PROUDLY sell KETO BRICKS™: https://supersetyourlife.com/collections/keto-brick%E2%84%A2 Do you like RIBEYES? Search Carnivore Coaches Corner (the #1 bodybuilding podcast in England) on any platform for our NUTRITION PODCAST co-hosted with Coach Mark Ennis! 30-minute consultation with Coach Colt: https://calendly.com/ssyl/1-on-1-consultation-30-min SUPERSET Coaching membership inquiries: https://calendly.com/ssyl/meet-greet

This week Tim is joined by The Director of The Writing Institute at Sarah Lawrence College, Courtney Gillette. This was a delightful conversation and Courtney's enthusiasm is palpable. Topics include: what the Director of the Writing Institute does. why Courtney decided to work with Sarah Lawrence. what's a book Courtney thinks everyone should read before they die. Her affinity for Romance Novels. Success stories from The Writing Institute. What courses The Writing Institute offers. Is her writing process tortured or breezy? Ways to support new community programming. Being available whilst protecting writing time. The location of The Writing Institute - Slonim second floor. Why should someone join The Writing Institute? And much more! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the college tour. Thank you for listening.

Listen to The Rise And Fall Of Ruby Franke exclusively and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts: wondery.com/shows/the-rise-and-fall-of-ruby-franke/Former YouTube “momfluencer” Ruby Franke was known for her no-nonsense parenting style, but authorities now say that "tough love" was actually child abuse. Franke's 12-year-old son escaped from the Utah home of her business partner, Jodi Hildebrandt, where he was reportedly starved and tied up with duct tape alongside his sister. As law enforcement dug deeper, they uncovered torture, injuries, and emotional harm inflicted by Franke and Hildebrandt. Law&Crime takes you behind the scenes, from Ruby and Jodi's path to internet stardom, to the investigation that brought them down. We also take you inside the courtroom as they face justice in this Law&Crime original podcast, The Rise and Fall of Ruby Franke.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The fate of the alleged sick and twisted so called leader of the Sarah Lawrence sex cult is now in the hands of the jury.Update: He was found guilty on all 31 counts.(commercial at 12:20)To contact me:bobbycapucci@protonmail.comsource:https://lawandcrime.com/live-trials/larry-ray/the-stuff-of-nightmares-accused-sarah-lawrence-sex-cult-leaders-racketeering-case-heads-to-a-jury/

Episode 171 looks at "Hey Jude", the White Album, and the career of the Beatles from August 1967 through November 1968. Click the full post to read liner notes, links to more information, and a transcript of the episode. Patreon backers also have a fifty-seven-minute bonus episode available, on "I Love You" by People!. Tilt Araiza has assisted invaluably by doing a first-pass edit, and will hopefully be doing so from now on. Check out Tilt's irregular podcasts at http://www.podnose.com/jaffa-cakes-for-proust and http://sitcomclub.com/ Errata Not really an error, but at one point I refer to Ornette Coleman as a saxophonist. While he was, he plays trumpet on the track that is excerpted after that. Resources No Mixcloud this week due to the number of songs by the Beatles. I have read literally dozens of books on the Beatles, and used bits of information from many of them. All my Beatles episodes refer to: The Complete Beatles Chronicle by Mark Lewisohn, All The Songs: The Stories Behind Every Beatles Release by Jean-Michel Guesdon, And The Band Begins To Play: The Definitive Guide To The Songs of The Beatles by Steve Lambley, The Beatles By Ear by Kevin Moore, Revolution in the Head by Ian MacDonald, and The Beatles Anthology. For this episode, I also referred to Last Interview by David Sheff, a longform interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono from shortly before Lennon's death; Many Years From Now by Barry Miles, an authorised biography of Paul McCartney; and Here, There, and Everywhere: My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles by Geoff Emerick and Howard Massey. This time I also used Steve Turner's The Beatles: The Stories Behind the Songs 1967-1970. I referred to Philip Norman's biographies of John Lennon, George Harrison, and Paul McCartney, to Graeme Thomson's biography of George Harrison, Take a Sad Song by James Campion, Yoko Ono: An Artful Life by Donald Brackett, Those Were the Days 2.0 by Stephan Granados, and Sound Pictures by Kenneth Womack. Sadly the only way to get the single mix of “Hey Jude” is on this ludicrously-expensive out-of-print box set, but a remixed stereo mix is easily available on the new reissue of the 1967-70 compilation. The original mixes of the White Album are also, shockingly, out of print, but this 2018 remix is available for the moment. Patreon This podcast is brought to you by the generosity of my backers on Patreon. Why not join them? Transcript Before I start, a quick note -- this episode deals, among other topics, with child abandonment, spousal neglect, suicide attempts, miscarriage, rape accusations, and heroin addiction. If any of those topics are likely to upset you, you might want to check the transcript rather than listening to this episode. It also, for once, contains a short excerpt of an expletive, but given that that expletive in that context has been regularly played on daytime radio without complaint for over fifty years, I suspect it can be excused. The use of mantra meditation is something that exists across religions, and which appears to have been independently invented multiple times, in multiple cultures. In the Western culture to which most of my listeners belong, it is now best known as an aspect of what is known as "mindfulness", a secularised version of Buddhism which aims to provide adherents with the benefits of the teachings of the Buddha but without the cosmology to which they are attached. But it turns up in almost every religious tradition I know of in one form or another. The idea of mantra meditation is a very simple one, and one that even has some basis in science. There is a mathematical principle in neurology and information science called the free energy principle which says our brains are wired to try to minimise how surprised we are --  our brain is constantly making predictions about the world, and then looking at the results from our senses to see if they match. If they do, that's great, and the brain will happily move on to its next prediction. If they don't, the brain has to update its model of the world to match the new information, make new predictions, and see if those new predictions are a better match. Every person has a different mental model of the world, and none of them match reality, but every brain tries to get as close as possible. This updating of the model to match the new information is called "thinking", and it uses up energy, and our bodies and brains have evolved to conserve energy as much as possible. This means that for many people, most of the time, thinking is unpleasant, and indeed much of the time that people have spent thinking, they've been thinking about how to stop themselves having to do it at all, and when they have managed to stop thinking, however briefly, they've experienced great bliss. Many more or less effective technologies have been created to bring about a more minimal-energy state, including alcohol, heroin, and barbituates, but many of these have unwanted side-effects, such as death, which people also tend to want to avoid, and so people have often turned to another technology. It turns out that for many people, they can avoid thinking by simply thinking about something that is utterly predictable. If they minimise the amount of sensory input, and concentrate on something that they can predict exactly, eventually they can turn off their mind, relax, and float downstream, without dying. One easy way to do this is to close your eyes, so you can't see anything, make your breath as regular as possible, and then concentrate on a sound that repeats over and over.  If you repeat a single phrase or word a few hundred times, that regular repetition eventually causes your mind to stop having to keep track of the world, and experience a peace that is, by all accounts, unlike any other experience. What word or phrase that is can depend very much on the tradition. In Transcendental Meditation, each person has their own individual phrase. In the Catholicism in which George Harrison and Paul McCartney were raised, popular phrases for this are "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" or "Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." In some branches of Buddhism, a popular mantra is "_NAMU MYŌHŌ RENGE KYŌ_". In the Hinduism to which George Harrison later converted, you can use "Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare", "Om Namo Bhagavate Vāsudevāya" or "Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha". Those last two start with the syllable "Om", and indeed some people prefer to just use that syllable, repeating a single syllable over and over again until they reach a state of transcendence. [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Hey Jude" ("na na na na na na na")] We don't know much about how the Beatles first discovered Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, except that it was thanks to Pattie Boyd, George Harrison's then-wife. Unfortunately, her memory of how she first became involved in the Maharishi's Spiritual Regeneration Movement, as described in her autobiography, doesn't fully line up with other known facts. She talks about reading about the Maharishi in the paper with her friend Marie-Lise while George was away on tour, but she also places the date that this happened in February 1967, several months after the Beatles had stopped touring forever. We'll be seeing a lot more of these timing discrepancies as this story progresses, and people's memories increasingly don't match the events that happened to them. Either way, it's clear that Pattie became involved in the Spiritual Regeneration Movement a good length of time before her husband did. She got him to go along with her to one of the Maharishi's lectures, after she had already been converted to the practice of Transcendental Meditation, and they brought along John, Paul, and their partners (Ringo's wife Maureen had just given birth, so they didn't come). As we heard back in episode one hundred and fifty, that lecture was impressive enough that the group, plus their wives and girlfriends (with the exception of Maureen Starkey) and Mick Jagger and Marianne Faithfull, all went on a meditation retreat with the Maharishi at a holiday camp in Bangor, and it was there that they learned that Brian Epstein had been found dead. The death of the man who had guided the group's career could not have come at a worse time for the band's stability.  The group had only recorded one song in the preceding two months -- Paul's "Your Mother Should Know" -- and had basically been running on fumes since completing recording of Sgt Pepper many months earlier. John's drug intake had increased to the point that he was barely functional -- although with the enthusiasm of the newly converted he had decided to swear off LSD at the Maharishi's urging -- and his marriage was falling apart. Similarly, Paul McCartney's relationship with Jane Asher was in a bad state, though both men were trying to repair their damaged relationships, while both George and Ringo were having doubts about the band that had made them famous. In George's case, he was feeling marginalised by John and Paul, his songs ignored or paid cursory attention, and there was less for him to do on the records as the group moved away from making guitar-based rock and roll music into the stranger areas of psychedelia. And Ringo, whose main memory of the recording of Sgt Pepper was of learning to play chess while the others went through the extensive overdubs that characterised that album, was starting to feel like his playing was deteriorating, and that as the only non-writer in the band he was on the outside to an extent. On top of that, the group were in the middle of a major plan to restructure their business. As part of their contract renegotiations with EMI at the beginning of 1967, it had been agreed that they would receive two million pounds -- roughly fifteen million pounds in today's money -- in unpaid royalties as a lump sum. If that had been paid to them as individuals, or through the company they owned, the Beatles Ltd, they would have had to pay the full top rate of tax on it, which as George had complained the previous year was over ninety-five percent. (In fact, he'd been slightly exaggerating the generosity of the UK tax system to the rich, as at that point the top rate of income tax was somewhere around ninety-seven and a half percent). But happily for them, a couple of years earlier the UK had restructured its tax laws and introduced a corporation tax, which meant that the profits of corporations were no longer taxed at the same high rate as income. So a new company had been set up, The Beatles & Co, and all the group's non-songwriting income was paid into the company. Each Beatle owned five percent of the company, and the other eighty percent was owned by a new partnership, a corporation that was soon renamed Apple Corps -- a name inspired by a painting that McCartney had liked by the artist Rene Magritte. In the early stages of Apple, it was very entangled with Nems, the company that was owned by Brian and Clive Epstein, and which was in the process of being sold to Robert Stigwood, though that sale fell through after Brian's death. The first part of Apple, Apple Publishing, had been set up in the summer of 1967, and was run by Terry Doran, a friend of Epstein's who ran a motor dealership -- most of the Apple divisions would be run by friends of the group rather than by people with experience in the industries in question. As Apple was set up during the point that Stigwood was getting involved with NEMS, Apple Publishing's initial offices were in the same building with, and shared staff with, two publishing companies that Stigwood owned, Dratleaf Music, who published Cream's songs, and Abigail Music, the Bee Gees' publishers. And indeed the first two songs published by Apple were copyrights that were gifted to the company by Stigwood -- "Listen to the Sky", a B-side by an obscure band called Sands: [Excerpt: Sands, "Listen to the Sky"] And "Outside Woman Blues", an arrangement by Eric Clapton of an old blues song by Blind Joe Reynolds, which Cream had copyrighted separately and released on Disraeli Gears: [Excerpt: Cream, "Outside Woman Blues"] But Apple soon started signing outside songwriters -- once Mike Berry, a member of Apple Publishing's staff, had sat McCartney down and explained to him what music publishing actually was, something he had never actually understood even though he'd been a songwriter for five years. Those songwriters, given that this was 1967, were often also performers, and as Apple Records had not yet been set up, Apple would try to arrange recording contracts for them with other labels. They started with a group called Focal Point, who got signed by badgering Paul McCartney to listen to their songs until he gave them Doran's phone number to shut them up: [Excerpt: Focal Point, "Sycamore Sid"] But the big early hope for Apple Publishing was a songwriter called George Alexander. Alexander's birth name had been Alexander Young, and he was the brother of George Young, who was a member of the Australian beat group The Easybeats, who'd had a hit with "Friday on My Mind": [Excerpt: The Easybeats, "Friday on My Mind"] His younger brothers Malcolm and Angus would go on to have a few hits themselves, but AC/DC wouldn't be formed for another five years. Terry Doran thought that Alexander should be a member of a band, because bands were more popular than solo artists at the time, and so he was placed with three former members of Tony Rivers and the Castaways, a Beach Boys soundalike group that had had some minor success. John Lennon suggested that the group be named Grapefruit, after a book he was reading by a conceptual artist of his acquaintance named Yoko Ono, and as Doran was making arrangements with Terry Melcher for a reciprocal publishing deal by which Melcher's American company would publish Apple songs in the US while Apple published songs from Melcher's company in the UK, it made sense for Melcher to also produce Grapefruit's first single, "Dear Delilah": [Excerpt: Grapefruit, "Dear Delilah"] That made number twenty-one in the UK when it came out in early 1968, on the back of publicity about Grapefruit's connection with the Beatles, but future singles by the band were much less successful, and like several other acts involved with Apple, they found that they were more hampered by the Beatles connection than helped. A few other people were signed to Apple Publishing early on, of whom the most notable was Jackie Lomax. Lomax had been a member of a minor Merseybeat group, the Undertakers, and after they had split up, he'd been signed by Brian Epstein with a new group, the Lomax Alliance, who had released one single, "Try as You May": [Excerpt: The Lomax Alliance, "Try As You May"] After Epstein's death, Lomax had plans to join another band, being formed by another Merseybeat musician, Chris Curtis, the former drummer of the Searchers. But after going to the Beatles to talk with them about them helping the new group financially, Lomax was persuaded by John Lennon to go solo instead. He may later have regretted that decision, as by early 1968 the people that Curtis had recruited for his new band had ditched him and were making a name for themselves as Deep Purple. Lomax recorded one solo single with funding from Stigwood, a cover version of a song by an obscure singer-songwriter, Jake Holmes, "Genuine Imitation Life": [Excerpt: Jackie Lomax, "Genuine Imitation Life"] But he was also signed to Apple Publishing as a songwriter. The Beatles had only just started laying out plans for Apple when Epstein died, and other than the publishing company one of the few things they'd agreed on was that they were going to have a film company, which was to be run by Denis O'Dell, who had been an associate producer on A Hard Day's Night and on How I Won The War, the Richard Lester film Lennon had recently starred in. A few days after Epstein's death, they had a meeting, in which they agreed that the band needed to move forward quickly if they were going to recover from Epstein's death. They had originally been planning on going to India with the Maharishi to study meditation, but they decided to put that off until the new year, and to press forward with a film project Paul had been talking about, to be titled Magical Mystery Tour. And so, on the fifth of September 1967, they went back into the recording studio and started work on a song of John's that was earmarked for the film, "I am the Walrus": [Excerpt: The Beatles, "I am the Walrus"] Magical Mystery Tour, the film, has a mixed reputation which we will talk about shortly, but one defence that Paul McCartney has always made of it is that it's the only place where you can see the Beatles performing "I am the Walrus". While the song was eventually relegated to a B-side, it's possibly the finest B-side of the Beatles' career, and one of the best tracks the group ever made. As with many of Lennon's songs from this period, the song was a collage of many different elements pulled from his environment and surroundings, and turned into something that was rather more than the sum of its parts. For its musical inspiration, Lennon pulled from, of all things, a police siren going past his house. (For those who are unfamiliar with what old British police sirens sounded like, as opposed to the ones in use for most of my lifetime or in other countries, here's a recording of one): [Excerpt: British police siren ca 1968] That inspired Lennon to write a snatch of lyric to go with the sound of the siren, starting "Mister city policeman sitting pretty". He had two other song fragments, one about sitting in the garden, and one about sitting on a cornflake, and he told Hunter Davies, who was doing interviews for his authorised biography of the group, “I don't know how it will all end up. Perhaps they'll turn out to be different parts of the same song.” But the final element that made these three disparate sections into a song was a letter that came from Stephen Bayley, a pupil at Lennon's old school Quarry Bank, who told him that the teachers at the school -- who Lennon always thought of as having suppressed his creativity -- were now analysing Beatles lyrics in their lessons. Lennon decided to come up with some nonsense that they couldn't analyse -- though as nonsensical as the finished song is, there's an underlying anger to a lot of it that possibly comes from Lennon thinking of his school experiences. And so Lennon asked his old schoolfriend Pete Shotton to remind him of a disgusting playground chant that kids used to sing in schools in the North West of England (and which they still sang with very minor variations at my own school decades later -- childhood folklore has a remarkably long life). That rhyme went: Yellow matter custard, green snot pie All mixed up with a dead dog's eye Slap it on a butty, nice and thick, And drink it down with a cup of cold sick Lennon combined some parts of this with half-remembered fragments of Lewis Carrol's The Walrus and the Carpenter, and with some punning references to things that were going on in his own life and those of his friends -- though it's difficult to know exactly which of the stories attached to some of the more incomprehensible bits of the lyrics are accurate. The story that the line "I am the eggman" is about a sexual proclivity of Eric Burdon of the Animals seems plausible, while the contention by some that the phrase "semolina pilchard" is a reference to Sgt Pilcher, the corrupt policeman who had arrested three of the Rolling Stones, and would later arrest Lennon, on drugs charges, seems less likely. The track is a masterpiece of production, but the release of the basic take on Anthology 2 in 1996 showed that the underlying performance, before George Martin worked his magic with the overdubs, is still a remarkable piece of work: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "I am the Walrus (Anthology 2 version)"] But Martin's arrangement and production turned the track from a merely very good track into a masterpiece. The string arrangement, very much in the same mould as that for "Strawberry Fields Forever" but giving a very different effect with its harsh cello glissandi, is the kind of thing one expects from Martin, but there's also the chanting of the Mike Sammes Singers, who were more normally booked for sessions like Englebert Humperdinck's "The Last Waltz": [Excerpt: Engelbert Humperdinck, "The Last Waltz"] But here were instead asked to imitate the sound of the strings, make grunting noises, and generally go very far out of their normal comfort zone: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "I am the Walrus"] But the most fascinating piece of production in the entire track is an idea that seems to have been inspired by people like John Cage -- a live feed of a radio being tuned was played into the mono mix from about the halfway point, and whatever was on the radio at the time was captured: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "I am the Walrus"] This is also why for many decades it was impossible to have a true stereo mix of the track -- the radio part was mixed directly into the mono mix, and it wasn't until the 1990s that someone thought to track down a copy of the original radio broadcasts and recreate the process. In one of those bits of synchronicity that happen more often than you would think when you're creating aleatory art, and which are why that kind of process can be so appealing, one bit of dialogue from the broadcast of King Lear that was on the radio as the mixing was happening was *perfectly* timed: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "I am the Walrus"] After completing work on the basic track for "I am the Walrus", the group worked on two more songs for the film, George's "Blue Jay Way" and a group-composed twelve-bar blues instrumental called "Flying", before starting production. Magical Mystery Tour, as an idea, was inspired in equal parts by Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters, the collective of people we talked about in the episode on the Grateful Dead who travelled across the US extolling the virtues of psychedelic drugs, and by mystery tours, a British working-class tradition that has rather fallen out of fashion in the intervening decades. A mystery tour would generally be put on by a coach-hire company, and would be a day trip to an unannounced location -- though the location would in fact be very predictable, and would be a seaside town within a couple of hours' drive of its starting point. In the case of the ones the Beatles remembered from their own childhoods, this would be to a coastal town in Lancashire or Wales, like Blackpool, Rhyl, or Prestatyn. A coachload of people would pay to be driven to this random location, get very drunk and have a singsong on the bus, and spend a day wherever they were taken. McCartney's plan was simple -- they would gather a group of passengers and replicate this experience over the course of several days, and film whatever went on, but intersperse that with more planned out sketches and musical numbers. For this reason, along with the Beatles and their associates, the cast included some actors found through Spotlight and some of the group's favourite performers, like the comedian Nat Jackley (whose comedy sequence directed by John was cut from the final film) and the surrealist poet/singer/comedian Ivor Cutler: [Excerpt: Ivor Cutler, "I'm Going in a Field"] The film also featured an appearance by a new band who would go on to have great success over the next year, the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band. They had recorded their first single in Abbey Road at the same time as the Beatles were recording Revolver, but rather than being progressive psychedelic rock, it had been a remake of a 1920s novelty song: [Excerpt: The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, "My Brother Makes the Noises For the Talkies"] Their performance in Magical Mystery Tour was very different though -- they played a fifties rock pastiche written by band leaders Vivian Stanshall and Neil Innes while a stripper took off her clothes. While several other musical sequences were recorded for the film, including one by the band Traffic and one by Cutler, other than the Beatles tracks only the Bonzos' song made it into the finished film: [Excerpt: The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, "Death Cab for Cutie"] That song, thirty years later, would give its name to a prominent American alternative rock band. Incidentally the same night that Magical Mystery Tour was first broadcast was also the night that the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band first appeared on a TV show, Do Not Adjust Your Set, which featured three future members of the Monty Python troupe -- Eric Idle, Michael Palin, and Terry Jones. Over the years the careers of the Bonzos, the Pythons, and the Beatles would become increasingly intertwined, with George Harrison in particular striking up strong friendships and working relationships with Bonzos Neil Innes and "Legs" Larry Smith. The filming of Magical Mystery Tour went about as well as one might expect from a film made by four directors, none of whom had any previous filmmaking experience, and none of whom had any business knowledge. The Beatles were used to just turning up and having things magically done for them by other people, and had no real idea of the infrastructure challenges that making a film, even a low-budget one, actually presents, and ended up causing a great deal of stress to almost everyone involved. The completed film was shown on TV on Boxing Day 1967 to general confusion and bemusement. It didn't help that it was originally broadcast in black and white, and so for example the scene showing shifting landscapes (outtake footage from Stanley Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove, tinted various psychedelic colours) over the "Flying" music, just looked like grey fuzz. But also, it just wasn't what people were expecting from a Beatles film. This was a ramshackle, plotless, thing more inspired by Andy Warhol's underground films than by the kind of thing the group had previously appeared in, and it was being presented as Christmas entertainment for all the family. And to be honest, it's not even a particularly good example of underground filmmaking -- though it looks like a masterpiece when placed next to something like the Bee Gees' similar effort, Cucumber Castle. But there are enough interesting sequences in there for the project not to be a complete failure -- and the deleted scenes on the DVD release, including the performances by Cutler and Traffic, and the fact that the film was edited down from ten hours to fifty-two minutes, makes one wonder if there's a better film that could be constructed from the original footage. Either way, the reaction to the film was so bad that McCartney actually appeared on David Frost's TV show the next day to defend it and, essentially, apologise. While they were editing the film, the group were also continuing to work in the studio, including on two new McCartney songs, "The Fool on the Hill", which was included in Magical Mystery Tour, and "Hello Goodbye", which wasn't included on the film's soundtrack but was released as the next single, with "I Am the Walrus" as the B-side: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Hello Goodbye"] Incidentally, in the UK the soundtrack to Magical Mystery Tour was released as a double-EP rather than as an album (in the US, the group's recent singles and B-sides were added to turn it into a full-length album, which is how it's now generally available). "I Am the Walrus" was on the double-EP as well as being on the single's B-side, and the double-EP got to number two on the singles charts, meaning "I am the Walrus" was on the records at number one and number two at the same time. Before it became obvious that the film, if not the soundtrack, was a disaster, the group held a launch party on the twenty-first of December, 1967. The band members went along in fancy dress, as did many of the cast and crew -- the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band performed at the party. Mike Love and Bruce Johnston of the Beach Boys also turned up at the party, and apparently at one point jammed with the Bonzos, and according to some, but not all, reports, a couple of the Beatles joined in as well. Love and Johnston had both just met the Maharishi for the first time a couple of days earlier, and Love had been as impressed as the Beatles were, and it may have been at this party that the group mentioned to Love that they would soon be going on a retreat in India with the guru -- a retreat that was normally meant for training TM instructors, but this time seemed to be more about getting celebrities involved. Love would also end up going with them. That party was also the first time that Cynthia Lennon had an inkling that John might not be as faithful to her as she previously supposed. John had always "joked" about being attracted to George Harrison's wife, Patti, but this time he got a little more blatant about his attraction than he ever had previously, to the point that he made Cynthia cry, and Cynthia's friend, the pop star Lulu, decided to give Lennon a very public dressing-down for his cruelty to his wife, a dressing-down that must have been a sight to behold, as Lennon was dressed as a Teddy boy while Lulu was in a Shirley Temple costume. It's a sign of how bad the Lennons' marriage was at this point that this was the second time in a two-month period where Cynthia had ended up crying because of John at a film launch party and been comforted by a female pop star. In October, Cilla Black had held a party to celebrate the belated release of John's film How I Won the War, and during the party Georgie Fame had come up to Black and said, confused, "Cynthia Lennon is hiding in your wardrobe". Black went and had a look, and Cynthia explained to her “I'm waiting to see how long it is before John misses me and comes looking for me.” Black's response had been “You'd better face it, kid—he's never gonna come.” Also at the Magical Mystery Tour party was Lennon's father, now known as Freddie Lennon, and his new nineteen-year-old fiancee. While Hunter Davis had been researching the Beatles' biography, he'd come across some evidence that the version of Freddie's attitude towards John that his mother's side of the family had always told him -- that Freddie had been a cruel and uncaring husband who had not actually wanted to be around his son -- might not be the whole of the truth, and that the mother who he had thought of as saintly might also have had some part to play in their marriage breaking down and Freddie not seeing his son for twenty years. The two had made some tentative attempts at reconciliation, and indeed Freddie would even come and live with John for a while, though within a couple of years the younger Lennon's heart would fully harden against his father again. Of course, the things that John always resented his father for were pretty much exactly the kind of things that Lennon himself was about to do. It was around this time as well that Derek Taylor gave the Beatles copies of the debut album by a young singer/songwriter named Harry Nilsson. Nilsson will be getting his own episode down the line, but not for a couple of years at my current rates, so it's worth bringing that up here, because that album became a favourite of all the Beatles, and would have a huge influence on their songwriting for the next couple of years, and because one song on the album, "1941", must have resonated particularly deeply with Lennon right at this moment -- an autobiographical song by Nilsson about how his father had left him and his mother when he was a small boy, and about his own fear that, as his first marriage broke down, he was repeating the pattern with his stepson Scott: [Excerpt: Nilsson, "1941"] The other major event of December 1967, rather overshadowed by the Magical Mystery Tour disaster the next day, was that on Christmas Day Paul McCartney and Jane Asher announced their engagement. A few days later, George Harrison flew to India. After John and Paul had had their outside film projects -- John starring in How I Won The War and Paul doing the soundtrack for The Family Way -- the other two Beatles more or less simultaneously did their own side project films, and again one acted while the other did a soundtrack. Both of these projects were in the rather odd subgenre of psychedelic shambolic comedy film that sprang up in the mid sixties, a subgenre that produced a lot of fascinating films, though rather fewer good ones. Indeed, both of them were in the subsubgenre of shambolic psychedelic *sex* comedies. In Ringo's case, he had a small role in the film Candy, which was based on the novel we mentioned in the last episode, co-written by Terry Southern, which was in itself a loose modern rewriting of Voltaire's Candide. Unfortunately, like such other classics of this subgenre as Anthony Newley's Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?, Candy has dated *extremely* badly, and unless you find repeated scenes of sexual assault and rape, ethnic stereotypes, and jokes about deformity and disfigurement to be an absolute laugh riot, it's not a film that's worth seeking out, and Starr's part in it is not a major one. Harrison's film was of the same basic genre -- a film called Wonderwall about a mad scientist who discovers a way to see through the walls of his apartment, and gets to see a photographer taking sexy photographs of a young woman named Penny Lane, played by Jane Birkin: [Excerpt: Some Wonderwall film dialogue ripped from the Blu-Ray] Wonderwall would, of course, later inspire the title of a song by Oasis, and that's what the film is now best known for, but it's a less-unwatchable film than Candy, and while still problematic it's less so. Which is something. Harrison had been the Beatle with least involvement in Magical Mystery Tour -- McCartney had been the de facto director, Starr had been the lead character and the only one with much in the way of any acting to do, and Lennon had written the film's standout scene and its best song, and had done a little voiceover narration. Harrison, by contrast, barely has anything to do in the film apart from the one song he contributed, "Blue Jay Way", and he said of the project “I had no idea what was happening and maybe I didn't pay enough attention because my problem, basically, was that I was in another world, I didn't really belong; I was just an appendage.” He'd expressed his discomfort to his friend Joe Massot, who was about to make his first feature film. Massot had got to know Harrison during the making of his previous film, Reflections on Love, a mostly-silent short which had starred Harrison's sister-in-law Jenny Boyd, and which had been photographed by Robert Freeman, who had been the photographer for the Beatles' album covers from With the Beatles through Rubber Soul, and who had taken most of the photos that Klaus Voorman incorporated into the cover of Revolver (and whose professional association with the Beatles seemed to come to an end around the same time he discovered that Lennon had been having an affair with his wife). Massot asked Harrison to write the music for the film, and told Harrison he would have complete free rein to make whatever music he wanted, so long as it fit the timing of the film, and so Harrison decided to create a mixture of Western rock music and the Indian music he loved. Harrison started recording the music at the tail end of 1967, with sessions with several London-based Indian musicians and John Barham, an orchestrator who had worked with Ravi Shankar on Shankar's collaborations with Western musicians, including the Alice in Wonderland soundtrack we talked about in the "All You Need is Love" episode. For the Western music, he used the Remo Four, a Merseybeat group who had been on the scene even before the Beatles, and which contained a couple of classmates of Paul McCartney, but who had mostly acted as backing musicians for other artists. They'd backed Johnny Sandon, the former singer with the Searchers, on a couple of singles, before becoming the backing band for Tommy Quickly, a NEMS artist who was unsuccessful despite starting his career with a Lennon/McCartney song, "Tip of My Tongue": [Excerpt: Tommy Quickly, "Tip of My Tongue"] The Remo Four would later, after a lineup change, become Ashton, Gardner and Dyke, who would become one-hit wonders in the seventies, and during the Wonderwall sessions they recorded a song that went unreleased at the time, and which would later go on to be rerecorded by Ashton, Gardner, and Dyke. "In the First Place" also features Harrison on backing vocals and possibly guitar, and was not submitted for the film because Harrison didn't believe that Massot wanted any vocal tracks, but the recording was later discovered and used in a revised director's cut of the film in the nineties: [Excerpt: The Remo Four, "In the First Place"] But for the most part the Remo Four were performing instrumentals written by Harrison. They weren't the only Western musicians performing on the sessions though -- Peter Tork of the Monkees dropped by these sessions and recorded several short banjo solos, which were used in the film soundtrack but not in the soundtrack album (presumably because Tork was contracted to another label): [Excerpt: Peter Tork, "Wonderwall banjo solo"] Another musician who was under contract to another label was Eric Clapton, who at the time was playing with The Cream, and who vaguely knew Harrison and so joined in for the track "Ski-ing", playing lead guitar under the cunning, impenetrable, pseudonym "Eddie Clayton", with Harrison on sitar, Starr on drums, and session guitarist Big Jim Sullivan on bass: [Excerpt: George Harrison, "Ski-ing"] But the bulk of the album was recorded in EMI's studios in the city that is now known as Mumbai but at the time was called Bombay. The studio facilities in India had up to that point only had a mono tape recorder, and Bhaskar Menon, one of the top executives at EMI's Indian division and later the head of EMI music worldwide, personally brought the first stereo tape recorder to the studio to aid in Harrison's recording. The music was all composed by Harrison and performed by the Indian musicians, and while Harrison was composing in an Indian mode, the musicians were apparently fascinated by how Western it sounded to them: [Excerpt: George Harrison, "Microbes"] While he was there, Harrison also got the instrumentalists to record another instrumental track, which wasn't to be used for the film: [Excerpt: George Harrison, "The Inner Light (instrumental)"] That track would, instead, become part of what was to be Harrison's first composition to make a side of a Beatles single. After John and George had appeared on the David Frost show talking about the Maharishi, in September 1967, George had met a lecturer in Sanskrit named Juan Mascaró, who wrote to Harrison enclosing a book he'd compiled of translations of religious texts, telling him he'd admired "Within You Without You" and thought it would be interesting if Harrison set something from the Tao Te Ching to music. He suggested a text that, in his translation, read: "Without going out of my door I can know all things on Earth Without looking out of my window I can know the ways of heaven For the farther one travels, the less one knows The sage, therefore Arrives without travelling Sees all without looking Does all without doing" Harrison took that text almost verbatim, though he created a second verse by repeating the first few lines with "you" replacing "I" -- concerned that listeners might think he was just talking about himself, and wouldn't realise it was a more general statement -- and he removed the "the sage, therefore" and turned the last few lines into imperative commands rather than declarative statements: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "The Inner Light"] The song has come in for some criticism over the years as being a little Orientalist, because in critics' eyes it combines Chinese philosophy with Indian music, as if all these things are equally "Eastern" and so all the same really. On the other hand there's a good argument that an English songwriter taking a piece of writing written in Chinese and translated into English by a Spanish man and setting it to music inspired by Indian musical modes is a wonderful example of cultural cross-pollination. As someone who's neither Chinese nor Indian I wouldn't want to take a stance on it, but clearly the other Beatles were impressed by it -- they put it out as the B-side to their next single, even though the only Beatles on it are Harrison and McCartney, with the latter adding a small amount of harmony vocal: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "The Inner Light"] And it wasn't because the group were out of material. They were planning on going to Rishikesh to study with the Maharishi, and wanted to get a single out for release while they were away, and so in one week they completed the vocal overdubs on "The Inner Light" and recorded three other songs, two by John and one by Paul. All three of the group's songwriters brought in songs that were among their best. John's first contribution was a song whose lyrics he later described as possibly the best he ever wrote, "Across the Universe". He said the lyrics were “purely inspirational and were given to me as boom! I don't own it, you know; it came through like that … Such an extraordinary meter and I can never repeat it! It's not a matter of craftsmanship, it wrote itself. It drove me out of bed. I didn't want to write it … It's like being possessed, like a psychic or a medium.” But while Lennon liked the song, he was never happy with the recording of it. They tried all sorts of things to get the sound he heard in his head, including bringing in some fans who were hanging around outside to sing backing vocals. He said of the track "I was singing out of tune and instead of getting a decent choir, we got fans from outside, Apple Scruffs or whatever you call them. They came in and were singing all off-key. Nobody was interested in doing the tune originally.” [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Across the Universe"] The "jai guru deva" chorus there is the first reference to the teachings of the Maharishi in one of the Beatles' records -- Guru Dev was the Maharishi's teacher, and the phrase "Jai guru dev" is a Sanskrit one which I've seen variously translated as "victory to the great teacher", and "hail to the greatness within you". Lennon would say shortly before his death “The Beatles didn't make a good record out of it. I think subconsciously sometimes we – I say ‘we' though I think Paul did it more than the rest of us – Paul would sort of subconsciously try and destroy a great song … Usually we'd spend hours doing little detailed cleaning-ups of Paul's songs, when it came to mine, especially if it was a great song like ‘Strawberry Fields' or ‘Across The Universe', somehow this atmosphere of looseness and casualness and experimentation would creep in … It was a _lousy_ track of a great song and I was so disappointed by it …The guitars are out of tune and I'm singing out of tune because I'm psychologically destroyed and nobody's supporting me or helping me with it, and the song was never done properly.” Of course, this is only Lennon's perception, and it's one that the other participants would disagree with. George Martin, in particular, was always rather hurt by the implication that Lennon's songs had less attention paid to them, and he would always say that the problem was that Lennon in the studio would always say "yes, that's great", and only later complain that it hadn't been what he wanted. No doubt McCartney did put in more effort on his own songs than on Lennon's -- everyone has a bias towards their own work, and McCartney's only human -- but personally I suspect that a lot of the problem comes down to the two men having very different personalities. McCartney had very strong ideas about his own work and would drive the others insane with his nitpicky attention to detail. Lennon had similarly strong ideas, but didn't have the attention span to put the time and effort in to force his vision on others, and didn't have the technical knowledge to express his ideas in words they'd understand. He expected Martin and the other Beatles to work miracles, and they did -- but not the miracles he would have worked. That track was, rather than being chosen for the next single, given to Spike Milligan, who happened to be visiting the studio and was putting together an album for the environmental charity the World Wildlife Fund. The album was titled "No One's Gonna Change Our World": [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Across the Universe"] That track is historic in another way -- it would be the last time that George Harrison would play sitar on a Beatles record, and it effectively marks the end of the period of psychedelia and Indian influence that had started with "Norwegian Wood" three years earlier, and which many fans consider their most creative period. Indeed, shortly after the recording, Harrison would give up the sitar altogether and stop playing it. He loved sitar music as much as he ever had, and he still thought that Indian classical music spoke to him in ways he couldn't express, and he continued to be friends with Ravi Shankar for the rest of his life, and would only become more interested in Indian religious thought. But as he spent time with Shankar he realised he would never be as good on the sitar as he hoped. He said later "I thought, 'Well, maybe I'm better off being a pop singer-guitar-player-songwriter – whatever-I'm-supposed-to-be' because I've seen a thousand sitar-players in India who are twice as better as I'll ever be. And only one of them Ravi thought was going to be a good player." We don't have a precise date for when it happened -- I suspect it was in June 1968, so a few months after the "Across the Universe" recording -- but Shankar told Harrison that rather than try to become a master of a music that he hadn't encountered until his twenties, perhaps he should be making the music that was his own background. And as Harrison put it "I realised that was riding my bike down a street in Liverpool and hearing 'Heartbreak Hotel' coming out of someone's house.": [Excerpt: Elvis Presley, "Heartbreak Hotel"] In early 1968 a lot of people seemed to be thinking along the same lines, as if Christmas 1967 had been the flick of a switch and instead of whimsy and ornamentation, the thing to do was to make music that was influenced by early rock and roll. In the US the Band and Bob Dylan were making music that was consciously shorn of all studio experimentation, while in the UK there was a revival of fifties rock and roll. In April 1968 both "Peggy Sue" and "Rock Around the Clock" reentered the top forty in the UK, and the Who were regularly including "Summertime Blues" in their sets. Fifties nostalgia, which would make occasional comebacks for at least the next forty years, was in its first height, and so it's not surprising that Paul McCartney's song, "Lady Madonna", which became the A-side of the next single, has more than a little of the fifties about it. Of course, the track isn't *completely* fifties in its origins -- one of the inspirations for the track seems to have been the Rolling Stones' then-recent hit "Let's Spend The Night Together": [Excerpt: The Rolling Stones, "Let's Spend the Night Together"] But the main source for the song's music -- and for the sound of the finished record -- seems to have been Johnny Parker's piano part on Humphrey Lyttleton's "Bad Penny Blues", a hit single engineered by Joe Meek in the fifties: [Excerpt: Humphrey Lyttleton, "Bad Penny Blues"] That song seems to have been on the group's mind for a while, as a working title for "With a Little Help From My Friends" had at one point been "Bad Finger Blues" -- a title that would later give the name to a band on Apple. McCartney took Parker's piano part as his inspiration, and as he later put it “‘Lady Madonna' was me sitting down at the piano trying to write a bluesy boogie-woogie thing. I got my left hand doing an arpeggio thing with the chord, an ascending boogie-woogie left hand, then a descending right hand. I always liked that, the  juxtaposition of a line going down meeting a line going up." [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Lady Madonna"] That idea, incidentally, is an interesting reversal of what McCartney had done on "Hello, Goodbye", where the bass line goes down while the guitar moves up -- the two lines moving away from each other: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Hello Goodbye"] Though that isn't to say there's no descending bass in "Lady Madonna" -- the bridge has a wonderful sequence where the bass just *keeps* *descending*: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Lady Madonna"] Lyrically, McCartney was inspired by a photo in National Geographic of a woman in Malaysia, captioned “Mountain Madonna: with one child at her breast and another laughing into her face, sees her quality of life threatened.” But as he put it “The people I was brought up amongst were often Catholic; there are lots of Catholics in Liverpool because of the Irish connection and they are often religious. When they have a baby I think they see a big connection between themselves and the Virgin Mary with her baby. So the original concept was the Virgin Mary but it quickly became symbolic of every woman; the Madonna image but as applied to ordinary working class woman. It's really a tribute to the mother figure, it's a tribute to women.” Musically though, the song was more a tribute to the fifties -- while the inspiration had been a skiffle hit by Humphrey Lyttleton, as soon as McCartney started playing it he'd thought of Fats Domino, and the lyric reflects that to an extent -- just as Domino's "Blue Monday" details the days of the week for a weary working man who only gets to enjoy himself on Saturday night, "Lady Madonna"'s lyrics similarly look at the work a mother has to do every day -- though as McCartney later noted  "I was writing the words out to learn it for an American TV show and I realised I missed out Saturday ... So I figured it must have been a real night out." The vocal was very much McCartney doing a Domino impression -- something that wasn't lost on Fats, who cut his own version of the track later that year: [Excerpt: Fats Domino, "Lady Madonna"] The group were so productive at this point, right before the journey to India, that they actually cut another song *while they were making a video for "Lady Madonna"*. They were booked into Abbey Road to film themselves performing the song so it could be played on Top of the Pops while they were away, but instead they decided to use the time to cut a new song -- John had a partially-written song, "Hey Bullfrog", which was roughly the same tempo as "Lady Madonna", so they could finish that up and then re-edit the footage to match the record. The song was quickly finished and became "Hey Bulldog": [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Hey Bulldog"] One of Lennon's best songs from this period, "Hey Bulldog" was oddly chosen only to go on the soundtrack of Yellow Submarine. Either the band didn't think much of it because it had come so easily, or it was just assigned to the film because they were planning on being away for several months and didn't have any other projects they were working on. The extent of the group's contribution to the film was minimal – they were not very hands-on, and the film, which was mostly done as an attempt to provide a third feature film for their United Artists contract without them having to do any work, was made by the team that had done the Beatles cartoon on American TV. There's some evidence that they had a small amount of input in the early story stages, but in general they saw the cartoon as an irrelevance to them -- the only things they contributed were the four songs "All Together Now", "It's All Too Much", "Hey Bulldog" and "Only a Northern Song", and a brief filmed appearance for the very end of the film, recorded in January: [Excerpt: Yellow Submarine film end] McCartney also took part in yet another session in early February 1968, one produced by Peter Asher, his fiancee's brother, and former singer with Peter and Gordon. Asher had given up on being a pop star and was trying to get into the business side of music, and he was starting out as a producer, producing a single by Paul Jones, the former lead singer of Manfred Mann. The A-side of the single, "And the Sun Will Shine", was written by the Bee Gees, the band that Robert Stigwood was managing: [Excerpt: Paul Jones, "And the Sun Will Shine"] While the B-side was an original by Jones, "The Dog Presides": [Excerpt: Paul Jones, "The Dog Presides"] Those tracks featured two former members of the Yardbirds, Jeff Beck and Paul Samwell-Smith, on guitar and bass, and Nicky Hopkins on piano. Asher asked McCartney to play drums on both sides of the single, saying later "I always thought he was a great, underrated drummer." McCartney was impressed by Asher's production, and asked him to get involved with the new Apple Records label that would be set up when the group returned from India. Asher eventually became head of A&R for the label. And even before "Lady Madonna" was mixed, the Beatles were off to India. Mal Evans, their roadie, went ahead with all their luggage on the fourteenth of February, so he could sort out transport for them on the other end, and then John and George followed on the fifteenth, with their wives Pattie and Cynthia and Pattie's sister Jenny (John and Cynthia's son Julian had been left with his grandmother while they went -- normally Cynthia wouldn't abandon Julian for an extended period of time, but she saw the trip as a way to repair their strained marriage). Paul and Ringo followed four days later, with Ringo's wife Maureen and Paul's fiancee Jane Asher. The retreat in Rishikesh was to become something of a celebrity affair. Along with the Beatles came their friend the singer-songwriter Donovan, and Donovan's friend and songwriting partner, whose name I'm not going to say here because it's a slur for Romani people, but will be known to any Donovan fans. Donovan at this point was also going through changes. Like the Beatles, he was largely turning away from drug use and towards meditation, and had recently written his hit single "There is a Mountain" based around a saying from Zen Buddhism: [Excerpt: Donovan, "There is a Mountain"] That was from his double-album A Gift From a Flower to a Garden, which had come out in December 1967. But also like John and Paul he was in the middle of the breakdown of a long-term relationship, and while he would remain with his then-partner until 1970, and even have another child with her, he was secretly in love with another woman. In fact he was secretly in love with two other women. One of them, Brian Jones' ex-girlfriend Linda, had moved to LA, become the partner of the singer Gram Parsons, and had appeared in the documentary You Are What You Eat with the Band and Tiny Tim. She had fallen out of touch with Donovan, though she would later become his wife. Incidentally, she had a son to Brian Jones who had been abandoned by his rock-star father -- the son's name is Julian. The other woman with whom Donovan was in love was Jenny Boyd, the sister of George Harrison's wife Pattie.  Jenny at the time was in a relationship with Alexis Mardas, a TV repairman and huckster who presented himself as an electronics genius to the Beatles, who nicknamed him Magic Alex, and so she was unavailable, but Donovan had written a song about her, released as a single just before they all went to Rishikesh: [Excerpt: Donovan, "Jennifer Juniper"] Donovan considered himself and George Harrison to be on similar spiritual paths and called Harrison his "spirit-brother", though Donovan was more interested in Buddhism, which Harrison considered a corruption of the more ancient Hinduism, and Harrison encouraged Donovan to read Autobiography of a Yogi. It's perhaps worth noting that Donovan's father had a different take on the subject though, saying "You're not going to study meditation in India, son, you're following that wee lassie Jenny" Donovan and his friend weren't the only other celebrities to come to Rishikesh. The actor Mia Farrow, who had just been through a painful divorce from Frank Sinatra, and had just made Rosemary's Baby, a horror film directed by Roman Polanski with exteriors shot at the Dakota building in New York, arrived with her sister Prudence. Also on the trip was Paul Horn, a jazz saxophonist who had played with many of the greats of jazz, not least of them Duke Ellington, whose Sweet Thursday Horn had played alto sax on: [Excerpt: Duke Ellington, "Zweet Zursday"] Horn was another musician who had been inspired to investigate Indian spirituality and music simultaneously, and the previous year he had recorded an album, "In India," of adaptations of ragas, with Ravi Shankar and Alauddin Khan: [Excerpt: Paul Horn, "Raga Vibhas"] Horn would go on to become one of the pioneers of what would later be termed "New Age" music, combining jazz with music from various non-Western traditions. Horn had also worked as a session musician, and one of the tracks he'd played on was "I Know There's an Answer" from the Beach Boys' Pet Sounds album: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "I Know There's an Answer"] Mike Love, who co-wrote that track and is one of the lead singers on it, was also in Rishikesh. While as we'll see not all of the celebrities on the trip would remain practitioners of Transcendental Meditation, Love would be profoundly affected by the trip, and remains a vocal proponent of TM to this day. Indeed, his whole band at the time were heavily into TM. While Love was in India, the other Beach Boys were working on the Friends album without him -- Love only appears on four tracks on that album -- and one of the tracks they recorded in his absence was titled "Transcendental Meditation": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Transcendental Meditation"] But the trip would affect Love's songwriting, as it would affect all of the musicians there. One of the few songs on the Friends album on which Love appears is "Anna Lee, the Healer", a song which is lyrically inspired by the trip in the most literal sense, as it's about a masseuse Love met in Rishikesh: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Anna Lee, the Healer"] The musicians in the group all influenced and inspired each other as is likely to happen in such circumstances. Sometimes, it would be a matter of trivial joking, as when the Beatles decided to perform an off-the-cuff song about Guru Dev, and did it in the Beach Boys style: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Spiritual Regeneration"] And that turned partway through into a celebration of Love for his birthday: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Spiritual Regeneration"] Decades later, Love would return the favour, writing a song about Harrison and their time together in Rishikesh. Like Donovan, Love seems to have considered Harrison his "spiritual brother", and he titled the song "Pisces Brothers": [Excerpt: Mike Love, "Pisces Brothers"] The musicians on the trip were also often making suggestions to each other about songs that would become famous for them. The musicians had all brought acoustic guitars, apart obviously from Ringo, who got a set of tabla drums when George ordered some Indian instruments to be delivered. George got a sitar, as at this point he hadn't quite given up on the instrument, and he gave Donovan a tamboura. Donovan started playing a melody on the tamboura, which is normally a drone instrument, inspired by the Scottish folk music he had grown up with, and that became his "Hurdy-Gurdy Man": [Excerpt: Donovan, "Hurdy Gurdy Man"] Harrison actually helped him with the song, writing a final verse inspired by the Maharishi's teachings, but in the studio Donovan's producer Mickie Most told him to cut the verse because the song was overlong, which apparently annoyed Harrison. Donovan includes that verse in his live performances of the song though -- usually while doing a fairly terrible impersonation of Harrison: [Excerpt: Donovan, "Hurdy Gurdy Man (live)"] And similarly, while McCartney was working on a song pastiching Chuck Berry and the Beach Boys, but singing about the USSR rather than the USA, Love suggested to him that for a middle-eight he might want to sing about the girls in the various Soviet regions: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Back in the USSR"] As all the guitarists on the retreat only had acoustic instruments, they were very keen to improve their acoustic playing, and they turned to Donovan, who unlike the rest of them was primarily an acoustic player, and one from a folk background. Donovan taught them the rudiments of Travis picking, the guitar style we talked about way back in the episodes on the Everly Brothers, as well as some of the tunings that had been introduced to British folk music by Davey Graham, giving them a basic grounding in the principles of English folk-baroque guitar, a style that had developed over the previous few years. Donovan has said in his autobiography that Lennon picked the technique up quickly (and that Harrison had already learned Travis picking from Chet Atkins records) but that McCartney didn't have the application to learn the style, though he picked up bits. That seems very unlike anything else I've read anywhere about Lennon and McCartney -- no-one has ever accused Lennon of having a surfeit of application -- and reading Donovan's book he seems to dislike McCartney and like Lennon and Harrison, so possibly that enters into it. But also, it may just be that Lennon was more receptive to Donovan's style at the time. According to McCartney, even before going to Rishikesh Lennon had been in a vaguely folk-music and country mode, and the small number of tapes he'd brought with him to Rishikesh included Buddy Holly, Dylan, and the progressive folk band The Incredible String Band, whose music would be a big influence on both Lennon and McCartney for the next year: [Excerpt: The Incredible String Band, "First Girl I Loved"] According to McCartney Lennon also brought "a tape the singer Jake Thackray had done for him... He was one of the people we bumped into at Abbey Road. John liked his stuff, which he'd heard on television. Lots of wordplay and very suggestive, so very much up John's alley. I was fascinated by his unusual guitar style. John did ‘Happiness Is A Warm Gun' as a Jake Thackray thing at one point, as I recall.” Thackray was a British chansonnier, who sang sweetly poignant but also often filthy songs about Yorkshire life, and his humour in particular will have appealed to Lennon. There's a story of Lennon meeting Thackray in Abbey Road and singing the whole of Thackray's song "The Statues", about two drunk men fighting a male statue to defend the honour of a female statue, to him: [Excerpt: Jake Thackray, "The Statues"] Given this was the music that Lennon was listening to, it's unsurprising that he was more receptive to Donovan's lessons, and the new guitar style he learned allowed him to expand his songwriting, at precisely the same time he was largely clean of drugs for the first time in several years, and he started writing some of the best songs he would ever write, often using these new styles: [Excerpt: The Beatles, "Julia"] That song is about Lennon's dead mother -- the first time he ever addressed her directly in a song, though  it would be far from the last -- but it's also about someone else. That phrase "Ocean child" is a direct translation of the Japanese name "Yoko". We've talked about Yoko Ono a bit in recent episodes, and even briefly in a previous Beatles episode, but it's here that she really enters the story of the Beatles. Unfortunately, exactly *how* her relationship with John Lennon, which was to become one of the great legendary love stories in rock and roll history, actually started is the subject of some debate. Both of them were married when they first got together, and there have also been suggestions that Ono was more interested in McCartney than in Lennon at first -- suggestions which everyone involved has denied, and those denials have the ring of truth about them, but if that was the case it would also explain some of Lennon's more perplexing behaviour over the next year. By all accounts there was a certain amount of finessing of the story th

This week we're looking into the traumatic story of a man who infiltrated Sarah Lawrence college and started a lucrative cult…and then it's on to a murder mystery in Iowa that has a couple twists and turns. Get ready for scary mysteries twisted news.

Poet and professor Erin Hoover self-identifies as "the parent of a donor-conceived child," and if you're wondering how she came to use that specific terminology, the thread of its evolution runs all the way through her recently-released collection, "No Spare People." Erin is currently based in Tennessee, and has lived in a number of places we might not think of as particularly "queer-friendly." Add to that the fact that she's chosen to parent on her own, and...let's just say she encounters a lot of personal questions. Erin shares how being queer is "a mode of existence...that has influenced every part of my life," and reads several poems from "No Spare People" as the events that inspired them come up in her story. Plus: '90s Dyke Drama (TM) at Sarah Lawrence!(TW: discussion of sexual assault, but nothing descriptive)The best way to find all things Erin is to go to her Linktree at linktr.ee/erinhoover. From there, you can access her website for more of her poetry and a list of upcoming events, find out where to purchase "No Spare People," and read the Daily Beast article we discussed in this episode! You can also follow Erin on Twitter and Bluesky at @erinhoover, and on Instagram at @theerinhoover.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

In this episode of Serial Streamers, Jami walks listeners through the Sarah Lawrence Cult and the Hulu docuseries Stolen Youth: The Cult at Sarah Lawrence. In the Fall of 2009, a man named Larry Ray began staying on campus with a group of college students after he was released from prison. He had all of them believing his criminal conviction was bogus, and that he could help them reach their true and best selves. One by one, Larry Ray began manipulating, abusing and controlling these students who all found themselves trapped in a tiny New York apartment with the con man. It would take years for the students to realize they had been scammed and abused by a man they had always believed was helping them. After it all came crashing down, one of Larry Ray's victims would also find herself in prison. Follow Jami on Instagram & TikTok @JamiOnAir …and join the Serial Streamers true crime TV club! Twice per month, Jami opens up the Serial Streamers club chat on Instagram so members can weigh in on the TV series we're watching together.  Watch Serial Streamers on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jamionair Check out Jami's other podcasts! Lipstick & Lies: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lipstick-lies/id1704189120 Dirty Money Moves: Women in White Collar Crime: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dirty-money-moves-women-in-white-collar-crime/id1619521092. Want to advertise on this show? We've partnered with Cloud10 Media to handle our advertising requests. If you're interested in advertising on MURDERISH, send an email to Sahiba Krieger sahiba@cloud10.fm with a copy to jami@murderish.com.  Visit Murderish.com for more info about the show and Creator/Host, Jami. Ad-Free episodes: Visit https://www.patreon.com/Murderish to join MURDERISH | Behind the Mic and get access to ad-free episodes. Listening to this podcast doesn't make you a murderer, it just means you're murder..ish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We get more time with Chris, and we discuss Ben and Jen's house hunting and swingers. What jobs are best to bone at, and which ones will fire you for it? What would it take for you to stop going to Cheesecake Factory? Locker rooms are removing urinals. Madonna just needs to change her hair. The Hulu documentary about the Sarah Lawrence cult is a parent's worst nightmare. I almost became a Mary Kay Cosmetic Consultant. Then Bravo's Below Deck's Captain Sandy is here! We learn more about her girlfriend and her brave life choices. She gives me some tips for future yachting adventures and other great career advice that can apply to everyone. Get extra juice on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop https://heathermcdonald.net/ See me Live: https://heathermcdonald.net/ Follow me: @heathermcdonald  Follow Chris  @chrisfranjola   Follow Captain Sandy @captainsandyawn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices