Simple Saturdays

Planning the day can be an overwhelming chore that you are constantly behind in. Sticking to that plan can be frustrating and seem impossible. I want to share a few ways that I keep myself on track and having a proactive day, rather than a reactive day.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  The crafty form of planning, bullet journaling  How to get started bullet journalling  The three planners that I found worked the best  Moleskin Weekly Planner Passion Planner Ban.Do Planner  The crown jewel of planning apps, Google Calendar, and how I use it to plan effectively  How to organize and use your To-Do list to check things off How I prioritize my To-Do list, shiting from a should-do to a could-do mindset  Planning a proactive day rather than having a reactive day, especially with chores Cognitive distortions and how to get out of that All-or-nothing thinking  Meal prepping    All the fun links you might enjoy    How to get started bullet journalling  Planning the day for moms The freedom you can gain from planning your day Procrastination tips for moms Does your to-do list overwhelm you? Do you trust yourself to show up for you?  How to move from ambivalent to ambitious    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hello friends welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. My name is Shawna, you guys know me as your nerdy girlfriend and life coach and counselor. And if you are new here, if you found the podcast over the summer, welcome, I'm so glad you are here. At simple on purpose, we talk about ways to simplify, simplify your home, your heart, your life, and do things on purpose, do life on purpose, turn off the autopilot, turn off the default mode, that we're just living in life reactively to life and letting things happen, like letting life happen at us and moving into an intentional space, being really proactive with who we are, how we want to show up our lives and what we want to get out of our life. So that's the premise of what we talk about here. I'm really glad you're here. I let you know earlier that I had taken the summer off, I was finishing up my schooling to become a registered professional counselor. And now I'm on the other side of that I've gone through certification, I am working on my supervision hours with my supervisor. And I just really had no idea what I would come back to in terms of what simple on purpose was going to look like. I think I still don't know, people are asking me am I going to open up and like on purpose Academy again, am I going to keep the podcast going like all these plans, and I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. But I am really enjoying the connection that I have with you guys over podcast, I love getting messages from you on Instagram over email letting me know that it's something that's part of your life part of your day. And it's something that's helping you, which is really my whole goal, right. And my whole goal is to empower moms to empower women to empower you guys to live simple on purpose. So I don't know what the future holds. I'm really open to it to where my life will take me and where these career plans take me. But let's keep digging into the podcast, I asked for suggestions on podcast topics I've asked in the simple on purpose, email, what you guys would like to hear about. And so today I'm going to talk about one of those suggested topics. And by the way, if you guys are not on the simple Saturdays email, that's an email that comes out twice a month. So it's not overwhelming. And I try to make that a place that's just fun and connected. And I share pictures, I share pictures of what I'm decluttering I share links to things I'm loving,

Answering decluttering, simplifying and momlife questions that were sent in through the Simple on Purpose community group. Covering topics including organization, procrastination, decluttering kids' clothes, showing up well for momlife.  Make sure to check out the show notes for more related links on these questions     Questions that were sent in: I'm reworking a room in our house soon to be an office/media room and trying to figure out a system for office supplies, books, devices, charging cables etc. It wants to turn into a catch-all space... If you have any thoughts on that? Thanks! What Pinterest Doesn't Tell You About Home Organization 5 common mistakes moms make when organizing their homes, and what to do about it (+ cheatsheet of 5 more) 157. How I tackled decluttering my office and kids craft drawers + how I handle the resistance to decluttering The old basement home office Adding a desk to my (upstairs) home office Tips for vehicle/trunk organization Considering a bin/bag system Simplifying kid's shoes A question to start with to know what next steps you need Seasonal declutter: Keeping track of what is in storage Do you have any on simplifying kids' clothes? (big, wearing, grew out of) Decluttering with Kids Guide I'm moving in the next few months and have been working on all the decluttering and packing etc. I have 2 kids under 5. What I notice is that I have a hard time getting started on the jobs involved until the last minute when there is a big push and looming deadline. I'd love to work on a more peaceful and gradual approach to get it all done  How I found myself procrastinating this morning Questions to ask yourself when doing self-inquiry into your own procrastination 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) 154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 135. Procrastination tips for moms 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) More on mom life - especially toddler mom life, being purposeful and present, enjoying it. The frustration of attaining freedom and independence, for parents and toddlers   Good enough mother (parent)  If I could go back and talk to myself about 7 years ago when I had two toddlers and a baby: Happiness is still available to me  Allowing every day to be hard and awesome 87. Why it is hard to be a present parent, and what to do about it 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions What Moms of Toddlers Need to Hear 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don't have fun When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) Summer wrap-up! Thank you for all the reviews and messages and emails you have sent, I am here for the COMMUNITY! Please do keep in touch! Expect an Instagram hiatus this summer, but please do make sure to USE the Facebook group  - and declutter it if you aren't going to use it.  Make sure you are on the Simple Saturdays email to get the bi-weekly newsletter to keep getting Simple on Purpose inspiration through the summer.  Save your favourite Simple on Purpose podcast playlist on Spotify to listen to this summer   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Yes, I'm taking a summer break kind of at least a break from the podcast, which I'm sad about, I really enjoy the podcast. It's a place for me to just bring up what are the what other topics are on my brain are being discussed.

How do we teach our kids contentment? I want to unpack this question from all angles. From why it is hard for us as parents, how we teach them reactively vs on purpose, where the emotion of contentment comes from, the purpose of discontentment and growing our tolerance of discontentment.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  Topics covered in this episode: The difference between being happy vs being content Happiness as a parenting goal can be very defeating and maybe even counterproductive Should happy kids be our parenting goal Recognizing that we live in a culture that is obsessed with happiness The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris  66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife Teaching our kids contentment, how we do it reactively and without intention Pretending you're happy Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Guilt and deprivation The ‘not-enough' mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Consider how we learn contentment in our own lives  How to really start showing up for your life How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life) Hard and awesome (from Think The Best of Me) 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) How to get that feeling (why values matter + free LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheet) How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Comparing where your kids are to where other kids are. The pitfalls of using what you see, socially, to determine where you and your kids *should be* Understanding your own motivation on why you want your kids to be content How we measure success as parents The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) God's Grace Through Difficult Parenting 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood What is hard about seeing your kids feel discontent 119. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids (and ourselves) The CBT framework: our emotions come from our thinking  76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) What We Say About Ourselves (and why it matters) I Think, I Am! By Louise Hay Big Life Podcast (growth mindset for kids) Making Change: Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? (growth mindset for adults) Our natural discontentment Enjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it) The purpose of the emotion 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions 123. Myths about emotion coaching our kids [LIVE]  Seeing the good, intentionally Contentment and knowing our values Happiness that is marketed to us, versus what we crave for contentment Addressing how our kids use comparison and how we can teach them about comparison in the context of contentment   Teaching our kids to look internally rather than externally Showing, rather than telling, our kids about the different life experiences in the world The role we have as parents to model contentment and honour the times our kids feel discontent  Room to make mistakes while we learn    Stop by the Facebook group to share your thoughts and ideas or tag or message me on Instagram   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simpler purpose.ca. Welcome to Simple on Purpose podcast. So today I am doing one of the last posts until I wrap up the podcast for the summer. I'm going to spend my summer just balancing the two jobs that I have on the go. Finishing up school,

Being a mom on purpose means stepping into your strengths as well as stepping into your struggles.  This means letting go of perfectionism and the chase to be the ideal mom and have the ideal kids.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  This episode covers: What is conscious parenting Parenting on auto-pilot, why we do it and how it is different from mindful parenting When our kids are difficult we try to 'out-difficult' them, and what we can do instead How conscious parenting challenges our western parenting culture and how many of us were raised Quote from Dr. Sheflai Unless we address why we can't embrace our children for precisely who they are, we will forever either seek to mold, control, and dominate them—or we will allow ourselves to be dominated by them.Tsabary, Dr. Shefali. The Conscious Parent (p. 54). Namaste Publishing Inc.. Kindle Edition. How our kid's struggles bring us face to face with our own struggles When our kids aren't easy, they are challenging the things we have conditioned ourselves to be uncomfortable with Letting go of the notion that we are meant to be perfect parents The messy relationships and the struggle matter as much as the peace we crave Hard doesn't mean you are doing it wrong, it often simply means you are doing it   Related links and episodes mentioned 53. Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali The key elements of Conscious Parenting Never Say No by Jan and Mark Foreman Three Books That Changed My Mothering Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Join me on Instagram      Full transcript (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends welcome to simple purpose. I'm here to girlfriend Shawna. And this is a follow up episode to episode 166. So I encourage you to stop by and listen to that one versus 13 minutes pretty quick. In that one, we talked about understanding that you can be a mom on purpose because you were made on purpose. It's not a checklist you have to make. It's something that's already inside of you everything you bring into motherhood, your strengths, your struggles, they all matter. They all help your family and you learn and grow together. And I think we can hyper focus on giving our kids this idyllic childhood, I think we can get caught up in all of the Pinterest requirements on how childhood has to look. But the motherhood experience matters just as much it matters. Motherhood matters as much to us as childhood matters to our kids. So our experience matters. This is important. If you want to dig in a little bit into that, check out episode 53 Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories. I'll link that in the show notes. So as we talk about being a mom on purpose, having confidence in the mom you are made to be. I want to also match that with the topic of conscious parenting because this is another layer that I brought into my own parenting over my parenting journey. And I'm aware, I'm a newbie in terms of my parenting career. But this is what I've learned along the way. And this is what I want to share. So conscious parenting Dr. Shefali, literally wrote the book on it. And I'll link that book in the show notes. I've read it, I have lots of highlights in it. It's really, really great. conscious parenting in general is a philosophy that says, our kids are reflecting things to us that we need to be conscious of that we need to be aware of. Because we spend our days living and parenting on autopilot from that subconscious, automatic programming that's running the show. Because how often are you really mindful? How often are you thinking about every decision, every thought, every reaction, every emotion that you're having? How often are you consciously in that rarely, right?

Motherhood is a journey and there are stepping stones along the way of things we learn. I want to share a few of my stepping stones with you. They are around parenting from our own strengths, rather than focussing on what we are doing wrong. I want to share a few ways you can find confidence within yourself rather than from comparison and external validation.      In this episode I talk about: the Perfect Mom Checklist Making your own list for motherhood Where to start when you want to do motherhood, on purpose Parenting from checklists and comparison and how can create pride or shame Where we try to find shortcuts to confidence Where we can truly find confidence Finding connection and fun in motherhood   Related links and episodes mentioned: 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. How this one list can empower you to be the mom you are The ‘not-enough' mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don't have fun The Mom, on Purpose podcast playlist     Full transcript (unedited) 0:00  This is a place where we just stop for a minute we slow down and we talk about the ways that we can simplify our lives, remove the distractions, remove the clutter, and start living on purpose with intention shutting off that autopilot. Today I want to talk about doing this in motherhood being a mom on purpose, something that's helped me is to think about motherhood as a journey. So I have three kids, they are 11. One's going to be 10 Soon, and one's going to be eight soon. And so I like to think about the journey I've been on over the past 11 years. For me, it really has been a journey where I started off clueless, I mean, my son, my firstborn son, was the first newborn I ever held. I also started off worried, which was my nature, but that I think that's something you bring into motherhood, you're worried about everything you don't know up against everything you're dealing with. And along the way, you learn. You listen, you try, you adjust, you wait, you learn, you learn what the different color poops mean, you learn how to set schedules and rules. You learn how to find peace, when everything is making you anxious. And you learn how to sit through the hard parts. Rather, rather than just scrambling to fix everything all the time you learn your way you learn the journey. And it really is a journey nobody can take for you. I think we're all looking to other people for the solution for the path. And I think there's a lot of mentorship available, we can support one another. But it really is your own personal journey. If I look back on things that I had wrote, during my earliest years of motherhood, and on the journals that I kept, at that time, I can see the path that I was on, I can see the things that I was learning, I can see little insights, little nuggets, little, not even little, but sometimes they were huge things that I learned that got me from here to there. And then again, from here to there again, and from here to there, again, just like stepping from one step to the next. So today, I want to share one of those things that felt very impactful at moving me along this journey. This is something that has brought me so much peace and empowerment in motherhood. And I want to share it because I think we don't hear it enough. And I think we're looking for it. What we're looking for is confidence in motherhood and confidence in being the mom we are in parenting from the strength of who we are meant to be, rather than focusing on what we're doing wrong. This was a message I heard early on in motherhood, and it was really impactful for me. And so as I coach other moms, and they share this message with them, and I hear them take it in and start to think maybe that could be ...

Spring cleaning had me feeling a mental urgency at ALL THE THINGS I needed to get cleaned in my home. I am sharing how I am approaching that overwhelm. Also sharing how organization and inventory of your stuff can save you money and reduce clutter (starting with the freezer!)     Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  The main points covered in this episode My cleaning goals for last weekend and how I was derailed by spring cleaning mental drama My spring cleaning list and closet jenga Operating from a sense of urgency and how it can lead to shame/resent Paying attention to our thoughts and which thoughts we will 'hop on and run off with' Cleaning out the freezer The hidden costs of stockpiling and having all of the options on hand, scarcity  minset  How to do a food inventory (and save money on groceries!) Organizing things in a way that makes them accessible and visible  Doing an inventory of things to prevent you from doubling up by buying more because you don't realize you have it at home   All the fun links you might like 61. How we introduced chores to our kids (Saturday Morning Chores) 60. Doing Chores You Want to Avoid (how I life coached myself to do the dishes) @GOCLEANCO on Instagram A quick video about thought trains by Russ Harris  154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) A post I shared on IG, four years go, about using the notes app to do storage inventory Bitters, I like this peach one by Dillons, the next one I want to try is the Alcohol-Free digestive bitters by Flora   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Welcome to the simple purpose podcast. Around here, we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heaart your life. So you can show up right now in whatever season you're in and show up for it on purpose with intention about what you want, and how you want to act and what you want more of and what you want less of. Today, I want to talk about some recent decluttering and cleaning that I was doing the other weekend. And some realizations I came to while I was doing it. And I share this stuff not because I think it's something you've never heard, or maybe don't even know because often, I think I share things that we do know deep down inside, but I share it because it's a good reminder, it was a good reminder to me and so I want to share it with here here with you. And maybe you will find something from it. So Spring is here, spring is here in Canada. And I don't know about you, but I've noticed as my kids are getting older, and we're like in this family home, that wshen spring comes along, I kind of lose my blinders. I've got blinders on either side of my head, of all of the areas of my home that have built up with grime and clutter over the winter months. And I started also thinking that maybe spring cleaning was invented by Canadian parents who had paid very little attention to their homes for the hockey season. And now they're just faced with realities of unmapped floors and chaotic mushrooms. So Saturday is our joy morning here. It's a routine that we have so that rooms are just getting picked up for the most part on a regular basis. I'm going to link an episode where I talk about Saturday morning chores, how we started our kids doing it and also an episode about me, life coaching myself to doing the dishes. It's a very underrated episode. So I think it's worth sharing. So I was rolling into the Saturday and I felt this freedom that you have when you don't have any plans, no hockey, no plans, I put on my sneakers, I put on a good playlist and I was ready to get some cleaning done. The other weekend I intended to break up them up and also help at least one kid dredge under ...

I was asked to cover this topic in the recent feedback survey. I think it is a great question to ask, and it is one I've ruthlessly searched to the ends of Pinterest to answer, 'how to find balance in motherhood'  In this episode, I will share about the extra demands in my life right now and the ways I am finding balance in a very busy season of life of motherhood, school and work.      Topics covered in this episode: What we think 'balance' means culturally for women and moms What I have decided to make it mean for myself  The power of prioritizing and all the reasons it is hard to prioritize What I am saying yes to this year What I am saying no to this year How I plan out my weeks  How I protect my priorities and the reality that it doesn't always look or feel lovely Adjusting things as I go versus having an all or nothing mindset Owning it and not feeling like a victim of my life Links you might like: Simplify your life series What I Learned While Searching for Balance in Motherhood The Eisenhower Matrix Opportunity costs, talk about this a bit more in How to Define Simple Living for Your Family The Life on Purpose Roadmap How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) @themanwhohasitall 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better 137. Back to school routines that we have in our house Family Rhythms 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement 69. Will a simpler home bring me peace? Working through a bad mood with one simple question   GET CONNECTED Make sure to share your thoughts with us in the Facebook group, or on Instagram!   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, welcome to the simple minimalist podcast, I am sure that many of you know me as your nerdy girlfriend. I am the mom of three kids. And I am passionate about us simplifying our home, our hearts our lives. So we can clear those distractions, clear the clutter and show up for what really matters to us in the lives that with intention with purpose, you may have noticed my tagline change to intentional living and parenting. And I think that really gets to the heart of where we're all headed towards where we're all wanting to work towards doing things in our day that help us feel intentional towards that bigger picture of what we want in our life. 0:45 On today's episode, I'm talking about a question that was brought up in the reader feedback survey. And it came up a few times and a few different ways. And that's the general question of how do I balance it? Also, it was a question directed towards me. And I'm going to talk about how I have found a balance in this really busy year of life, hoping that what I share with you will help you you find balance in whatever busy season you find yourself in. 1:10 I know I've spent a lot of years, especially in the early years when I had all of my kids at home, the toddlers and the baby. And I remember searching like balancing motherhood balancing kids balancing babies, toddlers, I was really drawn into this notion that if I could just find the right steps, then this would all be easy, that it would all flow effortlessly, that things would feel balanced. And I think a lot of us crave that, that balance that sense of balance. 1:44 But maybe we don't really sit and think about what balance is like, what do we think it is? I think on one hand, we kind of look around and look at all the things everyone's doing, for their health, for their parenting, for their jobs, for their personal development. And we think that's just a general list of all the things I need to be doing to be a healthy human. And I should just be doing the all of those things and feel that sense of inner peace that's going to come from finding balance. 2:11 In my experience of going through the years of, you know, raising small children, having them at home,

How to have more fun with our kids. It is OK if you feel like you aren't enjoying your kids and if having fun with them is not happening or is hard to do.  There are a lot of reasons why we aren't having fun and I want to talk about those and then share ways to bring fun into your family, on purpose   In this episode we talk about: The cultural image that makes parenting look fun will be easy and natural. And part of us holds onto this stock photo dream of family fun.  Is Motherhood What You Envisioned It To Be? The culture of fun in your family and where people in your family are getting their 'fun' 9 Simple Ways to Cultivate Your Family Culture Letting the day build up into a stress mountain vs having small redirects in our day When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 55. Tips to move out of the stress response and into resilience Distractions from harder emotions vs honouring our emotions and doing something to help us move on 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Reasons why we aren't having fun with our kids 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood 25. Working through unhappiness in motherhood, life coaching steps for handling a bad day. Bonus Q+A Episode Making fun when things feel heavy Making fun happen, on purpose Making a list Simple and Easy Kid Activities (mega list of ideas) some family fun suggestions  tips on planning it How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) Family Rhythms + free worksheet 148. Why even make family Christmas traditions? (+ ones that didn't work, ones that did) three ways we can bring fun into our family How to bring fun into the harder times of your day Handing sibling rivalry and competition while doing fun things following through on our plans for fun, even when we don't feel like it showing up well for the fun COMPANION EPISODE: 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself All of the things that take away your presence and attention from doing fun things with your kids Things that feel more important and how to reframe them The ‘not-enough' mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) What memories are you making in motherhood (and how it can change your motherhood experience) Connect and let me know how you are having fun, on purpose Post about it in the Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram   Simple Pleasure This delightful new email newsletter by my friend Taco Katie who is sharing her great reads at This Librarian is Reading. Sign up for her newsletter here!  Follow her on Instagram    Full Transcript (unedited) HI friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the Simple on purpose podcast. If you're new here, welcome. I started simple on purpose about eight years ago, I think. And the whole premise is to simplify like I learned about decluttering. I started decluttering my home, it helped me declutter my life. My mind, it helped me to just realize all the ways I was living on autopilot. So I thought I want to simplify things. I want to simplify my life, my home, and I want to start showing up for my life on purpose. I want to do things on purpose. So that's what I'm here for, for helping you do that to helping you turn off the autopilot. Because I know what it's like to get to the end of your day, and feel like you are constantly busy, but also totally unproductive. I want to help you stop just reacting to life and start being really proactive with what ...

When we want others to think well of us, what is happening is we are buying into the cultural myth that WE are all good, all the time. And then our EGO steps in to defend this truth and make us look good all the time. But this comes at a cost, it disconnects us from others. What if we can allow the not so good parts of ourselves to be seen and accepted? What if people don't HAVE TO to think the best of us? Quieting our ego in our relationships, especially in our marriage.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  In this episode I discuss: Assumed judgement versus concrete judgement.  Assuming what others think about us reflects what we think about ourselves Differing between the cultural term of EGO from how Freud uses the term EGO Wanting to believe we are all good, all the time How the EGO shows up when we feel we are being judged or feel inferior Should we be happy all of the time?  66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife The cultural message that we are all awesome, all the time! Acknowledging that we are not good all the time and how that can free us and improve our relationships The problem with teaching our kids there are 'good guys and bad guys' The role of serotonin in feeling superior and special  Tame your Anxiety by Loretta Breuning, PhD Habits of a Happy Brain by Loretta Breuning, PhD Differentiating between wanting our friends to think well of us or wanting to be socially superior Making change from a place of shame/inferiority What does it mean if we are NOT 100% good or 100% bad How it can improve our relationships  Acknowledging our good without minimizing it and taking ourselves off the hook to perform Validating ourselves rather than looking for validation from others.  Acknowledging what is 'good' and 'bad' in our partner and allowing it to bring ease rather than a fight The Hard and Awesome Game we play with our kids and how it de-stigmatizes 'hard things' and also celebrates 'awesome things'. Letting go of the expectation that the whole day has to be good and awesome and allowing the hard parts of our day to not take over Stop by Instagram for some fun conversations there    Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, I'm Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is the podcast where I remind you to stop, slow down, 0:14 breathe. Like really take a deep breath. Let's just slow down. Because I want you to stop where you are. So you can pay attention. what's working, what's not? 0:28 What will bring you a sense of purpose today. So I'm Shanna, you know, me as your nerdy girlfriend. I have been coaching women since 2018. And I am a counselor in training working on my certification. I'm also a mom of three kids, my kids, how old are they now, my oldest just turned 11. My middle is nine and my youngest is seven. So I am just here going through the motions of motherhood and marriage and life alongside you guys, and just trying to share on the topics that come up for me. And this, this is a topic that has been in my drafts for a while. And then this morning, Connor was home. And he gave me a suggestion for how I could handle some of our banking that we're working on, I do all of the finances. And man did my defenses go up over that. So I went to this notes file. And I just started self reflecting and adding more to this episode. So I want to open up with a story. And it was a few years back, my husband came home from work and he said, How was your day? And I was like, Oh, it's good. And he was quiet. And he said, You haven't said that it was good for a really long time. I'm not sure if I've shared this story before I might have. But when he said that I felt so embarrassed.

Ever wonder if decluttering will be worth your time? Does minimalism really matter much? This question was asked in a recent survey I held and I thought it was so valuable. Because we all want to know that going through the work of decluttering will be worth it. Sometimes we need to hear about the benefits to help motivate us to start and move forward with the work of simplifying.  I'll share my own decluttering story as well as the benefits I see from in, after being 7-8 years in.  Why having less matters, is a topic that was suggested in the 2022 Feedback Survey. Make sure you give your feedback if you haven't done so yet.  Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Collect memories, not things  Starting out with my pitch to celebrate with your people, and make memories together when the opportunity comes your way. Take the chance! Why You Should Date Your Friends Giving Experiences Instead of Gifts   A bit about my decluttering journey.  It started with the book The Joy of Less, by Francine Jay. This book prompted me to start decluttering the Basement of Shame.  This was the big declutter I started with and since then, decluttering has been a routine in my life   The benefits of having less Clearer space We know there is a scientific correlation between your mental state and clutter What Clutter Do You Tolerate? (Bust Your Tolerations Workbook) Being able to USE your space for what you want The 16 ways minimalism has changed my life How it makes our space easier to clean, but also #welivehere More mindful More mindful of how I shop 141. When shopping isn't making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) Five Ways We Justify Needless Shopping The mindset is not about consumption anymore The Habit of Consumption More clarity Decluttering means making constant decisions, so you need to self-reflect as you make these decisions. This helps you know more about who you are what you want to do with your space and your life. As you make more decisions, you become a more confident decision-maker How to Define Simple Living for Your Family Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? 143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Enough is enough Having less means knowing when to say ENOUGH BEMA episode on ENOUGH I have sweaters at home, I don't need more Fewer decisions are required when you don't have the excess distracting you  144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE The Quickest Way to Simplify Your Life (and nine areas to try it out) When you have less, you have what you want and that becomes 'enough' The ‘not-enough' mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Intentionality seeps into your life This whole process of removing the distractions, the entertainment, the overconsumption really makes you aware of what is left.  Decluttering over the years puts you in a mindset of asking WHY and constantly evaluating things you are bringing into your home and life Six mindsets that help you become a minimalist   REMEMBER Declutter is simple but not easy. It is a lot of uncomfortable work. But the short-term discomfort of decluttering is better than the long-term discomfort of living with clutter.  139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you?   Stop by Instagram for the basement before and after This is what our basement looked like for many years, with the DIY fort - Our Minimalist Family Home: Basement Before and After             View this post on Instagram                        

This is a continuation of the insights we had in the #moms30for30 challenge, where we wore 30 items of clothes for 30 days.   This challenge was a way for us to shop our closets, wear clothing items we never wear (cause we always stick with familiar, right!?), put together outfits, and get dressed each day.    In this episode we cover: The power of visual data aka taking dorky outfit selfies How getting dressed can be a keystone habit that has a ripple effect in other areas of your life Paying attention to how you FEEL when you get dressed   The personal goal I gave myself for this challenge versus the goal I have had in past challenges Can comfort and style co-exist (for the under 60 crowd?) How taking the time to observe and edit your wardrobe can make getting dressed simple and easy Same clothes but different looks, using accessories and the rule of three The breakdown of my numbers in doing this challenge  22 items for 26 days 7 Pairs of pants (3 jeans, 1 black jean, 1 jogger) 17 Tops 7 blouses 3 sweaters 3 tees  4 cardigans (Head over to the previous episode post to see the photos of my outfits) Building a capsule wardrobe is not about having all of the options. It is more about having a handful of great items that you love My encouragement to empower you in dressing how YOU want Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Simple Pleasure Is a handheld fabric steamer.   I bought mine last year and have used it for things like drapes and curtains, thrifted items, and most of my shirts.  It is easy and fast to use and the satisfaction of seeing those wrinkles and creases steamed out is making this my simple pleasure! This is the one I use.    Mentioned and related links: Join the Facebook group, if you are ready to participate in the community!  The realization I had when I saw the Instagram feed of me instead of being pics of my kids When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids The emotional shopping I was doing last fall 141. When shopping isn't making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping)  The rule of three Simple Style Tips for Moms The 2022 Feedback Survey! I wonder about what you think, so I am going to ask you here and hope you will share your thoughts.    Full transcript  (unedited) This episode is part two of the insights that I am sharing on the moms 30 for 30 to 3430 Challenge, where we were wearing 30 items of clothes for mostly 30 days of the month of February. So I have been sharing my own insights as well as those insights of the women who joined along in the challenge and shared their experience in the Facebook group. Okay, side note about the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community Facebook group, I want to tell you two things. The first is that if you have applied to enter, you need to answer all of the entry questions. So if you haven't been approved yet, go back and do that. If you're interested in joining, be mindful of that. Don't close that window right away, answer all those questions. And the second point I want to make is, I really encourage you to be a minimalist with your Facebook groups, and only join this one if you want to be an active member, because this group is a place for community discussion. And that means participation. So if you feel like participating isn't something that you're going to be doing, then just keep listening along here. Keep reading through the email, don't worry about joining that group. And I don't want it to come off as harsh. But for any of you who have ever run an online community or an in person community, you know what I mean? It takes engagement to succeed and to create a community. And that is what I want to challenge the members of that Facebook group to be doing to become a community.

In this episode, we are recapping the moms30for30 capsule wardrobe challenge. I will be sharing the insights I have learned and the ones shared by the ladies who joined in this round.  Listen to this if you are curious about a capsule wardrobe, simplifying your closet, being more intentional with clothes shopping, being mindful about how trends impact you and finding your personal style, and if you have struggled with the notion of being a mom who gets dressed each day.      What is the moms30for30? This is a 30for30 challenge in which we wear 30 items of clothes for 30 days (or pretty darn close!)   Why I love to do the 30for30 challenge: It has helped me do things like learn to put outfits together, get to know my style better, interview my closet so I can declutter things that don't belong, and get dressed each day.  If you want to read about the past challenges I have done over the year head to this page.  This challenge has helped me really challenge a lot of discomfort I have had about being 'too much' and having a limiting identity of 'who I am/who I am not'. Challenges put us in a situation where we are challenging ourselves....getting uncomfortable! And also, getting some consistent data and increasing our awareness of what the experience is like for us.  We have so much to learn from doing a challenge vs trying a behaviour or action for a day or two.    Insights we (myself and those ladies who joined in!) had around wearing 30 items of clothes for 30 days! Listen to hear more about each of these points: Getting dressed in our favourite items vs always wearing the familiar items Some questions to ask yourself to help you understand if you are going for favourite or familiar  The benefits of wearing your favourites The burden of keeping 'backups' A simple exercise to help you determine your favourites Understanding why we shop How fast fashion impacts our ability to determine our own personal style Noticing feelings of insecurity and scarcity we have when we think about buying more clothes How we handle these feelings of insecurity and the two outcomes it can give us My new shopping mantra that I have adopted that has helped me shop very mindfully Taking pride in ourselves vs the vanity of focussing on our outward appearance There is a common sentiment that being a mom who focusses on her own appearance can be a self-focussed or vain situation The filter through which we make assumptions about others being vain or being empowered How to determine what is acceptable for you and understanding healthy pride vs vanity Related and Mentioned Links Thanks to those who have filled out the 2022 Feedback survey, if you are up for sharing your feedback please do so here The intro episode into this year's 30for30 and my aha moment around what was in my closet 151. Capsule wardrobe closet remix challenge, the #moms30for30 Decision fatigue (for those who feel overwhelmed by all the options of fashion) 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE Noticing a scarcity mindset 40. Does the ‘not-enough' mindset show up in your momlife? (Scarcity/Abundance) Getting dressed day episode 128. Getting dressed every day, with less guilt & more confidence (with Jaime McLaughlin) Being moms who support other moms regardless of what we wear The Instagram Post   Photos from my 303for30 challenge this month     FULL TRANSCRIPT Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. 0:12 This is a place where I encourage you to slow down and start paying attention to your life. Start removing the distractions, really decide what matters most to you and show up well for that living on purpose. 0:26 So to start out, thank you to those of you who have filled out the feedback survey, that is something that I do each year and I ask questions about how you like to follow simple on purpose,

Hi friends, welcome to an MVP episode. These are episodes I have shared over the years that I have had feedback on that they have been particularly helpful. I am sharing these for those who missed them the first time around and for those who want a refresher.  This MVP episode is all about the labels we give our kids and how it changes us and them.      In this episode we talk about: What is a typecast How we are labelling our kids, and might not even realize it How we parent according to this label and enforce our own confirmation bias How it changes our child's self-concept and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy What to do about labelling our kids    Links mentioned in this episode: the 2022 Feedback Survey  book a free mini-session Personality isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy episode 49 on having a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset Episode 76: Why it matters what you think

This past week I decluttered a few spaces in the home, the kitchen craft drawers and the office closet.  These are areas that had become unruly with stuff and clutter. They have been on my list to declutter as we need to start clearing out our kitchen and dining area to prepare for an upcoming kitchen reno.    In this episode I share: How decluttering one space can require decluttering of another space where storage is interrelated How I have been slowly reducing the storage in my kitchen over the years The craft drawers in the kitchen and the maintenance they have required of me What junk I am finding in my office and my craft drawers How I declutter these areas (steps I take to tackle it) What I have learned over years of decluttering my spaces How I have resistance to decluttering and how I pep talk myself into getting the decluttering done   Photos of the spaces and decluttering process Before we moved in, this was the wall between the kitchen area and the living area   The kitchen, before decluttering (2014/2015)   The wall of pantry storage in the kitchen, before decluttering   Our current kitchen (2021/2022)   Decluttering the craft drawers (and sorting into piles as I go)   Emptied the craft dresser in the kitchen! Only the top supplies made the cut, to be stored in the office closet   The required humble brag memes to let my husband know I will be buying myself a tiny trophy* for my efforts (*probably in the form of aged white cheddar)   How the office closet was holding up.... (and if you spy that White Jesus art there, it is a completed puzzle that someone framed- I know, I have questions too. But I brought it home so I could use the frame)   Totally emptied out the closet so my husband could build the shelves. It is amazing how much was crammed into that space!   Real-life organization that doesn't look cute, but works for us   Related links on decluttering and managing 'stuff' in your family Episode 11. Are we TOO comfortable? + Do we need so much pantry space? Episode 2. Decluttering the kitchen, meal planning book, capsule wardrobes and the currently list. Decluttering our home (on instagram stories) Setting a vision for our kitchen helped me to declutter it over the years Episode 65. When your kids don't play with their toys anymore 5 common mistakes moms make when organizing their homes, and what to do about it (+ cheatsheet of 5 more) Hygge vs Minimalism     Full transcript (unedited) 0:12 I am recording this on my Friday, Friday, it is finally a free day for me a free day where I didn't have any work scheduled any school that I had to do. It didn't have to be recovering from COVID, all of that kind of stuff. And the reason why it's a free day is I had finished my coursework a couple days early for this session that I'm in, I do a course every three weeks. And so every three weeks, I turned in that package of assignments for the course. And I tell you every three weeks it feels like I'm delivering a child like I'm birthing something, it's like a labor and delivery every three weeks and then start again on Monday. 0:53 So I had a day to day where I knew I was going to have time to tackle a big decluttering project in my house. And it was one of those projects, that involves a couple areas of the house. And I know you guys have shared this with me about your own hurdles, and decluttering. It's like, well, if I do the bathroom, and then I have to do the whole cloth. And if I do the hall closet, then I need to do the linen closet. Like it just all starts connecting room to room space to space, right. 1:22 I call it the decluttering series. And so I had a decluttering series in my life, so to speak, because here's what's happening in the spring, hopefully this spring, we are planning to do a kitchen renovation. And part of this kitchen renovation involves us needing to clear ...

We spend much of our days avoiding the emotions we don't want to feel and panicking when we do feel those negative emotions. But then what happens is we give control over to the emotions and build up our lives hustling away the 'bad'.  Over the years I have learned a lot about emotions that has personally brought me freedom from fearing emotions. This is something I have also coached many women on over the years. A big hurdle we have is knowing what we feel, and then struggling with the fact that we don't WANT to feel that emotion.      In this episode I cover: The three big insights that have changed my relationship to my feelings What the work of Dr. Candace Pert reveals about what emotions ARE How we learn what we are feeling How we are conditioned to view feelings  What makes an emotion 'negative' or 'unacceptable' Being aware of our tolerance of emotions The real problems with emotions  Understanding the role of emotions How to tap into the intuition emotions can offer us rather than running from the emotions Collaborating with our emotions rather than competing with them    Related links you might like: The Spotify playlist for all episodes on Emotional Intelligence  139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife How to really start showing up for your life Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood The Enneagram and Motherhood Series Book: The Molecules of Emotion by Dr. Candace Pert Aritcle: The Physics of Emotion  Simple Pleasure of the Week: Benefit cheek and lip stain     Full transcript (unedited) 0:06 Hey friends is Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose. Welcome to the Simple on Purpose podcast. My aim here is to share with you thoughts, ideas, stories that will help you let go of the old ways, the useless stuff, the heavy stuff, the unnecessary stuff in your life in your space in your brain, so that you can get into the driver's seat of your life, and steer that car, steer that ship to where you want it to go. 0:36 What do you want more of more fun, more passion, more purpose, more presence, because that's what I signed up for. And that's what I'm here to share with you. 0:48 But it doesn't all come without the shedding part, right without the letting go. Letting go of what doesn't work, what doesn't help you live on purpose. And this is the part that needs to be addressed. Because life on purpose is not just like Instagrammable, magical confetti and balloons. Life on purpose comes with friction and discomfort. 1:11 And so today, I want to dig into that a little bit and talk about the F word, feelings. And a lot of this content is some I had drafted up back in the fall. And I came across it when I was doing a school project this week. 1:25 And let me tell you school was my only focus this week, because your girl was home sick on the couch with COVID. And I know many of you have had it, it finally hit us here it finally hit our home, I was the only one that had it though. Everyone else thoroughly avoided me and seemed to skirt it. 1:44 But I was sick in I see a lot of different people on social media sharing their experiences with COVID. And I was comforted by those who told me that they were really sick too. Like I was exhausted just making toast. I needed to nap a couple times a day. And I am not a Napper. 2:03 But I had also gotten to this place where I was kind of comparing my experience with others because I had heard that there were others who had only a cough or a scratchy throat. And here I was just like rolling from the couch to the bed to the couch day after day. And it was definitely getting into my head, feeling like I should be tougher. I should get over this sooner. Like they say five days, but it's been more than five days. And it's just ironic, really,

How do we talk about hard things? For some of us, our emotions seem overwhelming and we find ourselves dumping them out onto those around us. For some, our emotions seem unacceptable and we find ourselves bottling them up. Neither of these strategies really helps us process our emotions and make progress with them. I think we all find ourselves either emotional dumping to bottling at different times to different people, and I want to support you with how to address both of these situations   In this episode: What emotional dumping looks like How it causes a disconnect and drain in relationships Why we emotion dump What venting looks like How it can create connection and support in relationships Why it is hard to vent How to grow in self-awareness if you are someone who emotion dumps What to do if you are someone who emotion dumps What to do if you are someone who bottles up their emotions  The difference between clean pain and dirty pain Giving yourself permission to vent How to vent to someone you trust, in a way that creates safety and connection   Related links mentioned: The #moms30for30 The episode from Hidden Brain, Where Happiness Hides   Full transcript (unedited) 0:12 For those of you who are new, you're welcome. I'm Shawna. I'm a mom of three. I live in small town BC, Canada. I am a life coach to moms who want to live with more purpose, peace, presence and passion. And I think passions really important part because I think that we should be enjoying our lives a lot more than we let ourselves sometimes. 0:31 So I am just squeezing this recording in my kids are going to be home in about 27 minutes, I'm going to record this. And today I want to talk about something called Emotional dumping. 0:42 And let's Twilight music back to a time when my kids were much smaller babies and toddlers. And this was about seven years ago, I had all my babies and three and a half years. Now they're 10, nine and seven. 0:56 So let's flashback, and I'm home with them. And you know, no matter how many kids you have, if you're at home with a kid, one or two or three, it can feel wild. And when there's more than one and they take turns napping, and then they have tantrums, and their snacks lying around the kitchen. Like it's just, it's just crazy times. 1:15 And there's good times too right? like dance parties and dress up and cute little giggles. But when you are in it, day after day, it wears you down. And I know there were a lot of days where Connor would walk through the door at the end of the day. And I would unload narration of everything that went wrong that day. And I've reflected a lot on this. And it's something that I still do sometimes. 1:40 And when I'm doing it when I've done it, I think that I really want someone to acknowledge how hard it is and how hard I was trying. And I know that I didn't validate myself a lot, especially in early motherhood, and I was looking to him to do it. I still sometimes do this, like I said, it's a process. 1:57 But I think this is a pretty common pattern that we moms can fall into. Because our world is really shrunken down to the toddlers in our home. Some close friends or two and the stream of moms quote unquote, doing it right on Instagram. So when that person who's out in the world walks into the door, we do it I call emotional dumping. 2:19 Even if you're like me, emotional dumping is not a term you want to give it because you want to know that you can come to the people you love with the hard things that you're going through and talk to them about it. And that's not quite what I'm talking about. 2:33 I'm going to spend this episode really differentiating the two, I'm talking about those times where it goes past, venting into that land of complaining and nagging and blaming. 2:46 This is a topic that I've covered in the month of gratitude challenge that I've done in the past.

We are feeling ready! We have stocked our motivation with books and podcasts and tedtalks, and we have our sneakers on and we are READY So what do we do??  It is normal to start making a list of all the changes we want to make and pursue a massive overhaul of all the things we want to see changed.  This is NOT the sustainable way to make change. It feels so necessary to do all the things while this window of motivation is open! But this approach will leave us fizzling out and believing we just aren't disciplined enough and that we don't have enough willpower.    In this episode we talk about: What happens when we take on a lot of change all at once What happens when the motivation tapers out Myths we believe about willpower and how it impacts our view of ourselves How we can set ourselves up for success by simplifying the whole approach How to make change that fits into the life we already have Why our brain is not excited about making a lot of changes all at once Why simplifying change is important in developing our skills for change My approach to simplifying a change I want to make with my coffee intake  Resources and episodes mentioned 105. Do you TRUST yourself to show up for YOU? 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better Podcast Playlists: Simple on Purpose on Spotify The Life on Purpose Workbook Homemaker, on Purpose (the guidebook)     Full transcript (unedited) 0:04 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is a podcast for women, moms, whoever, whoever wants to do this work, who wants to do the work of living their life with more purpose, more peace and more presence. And I think more passion, because this is your life, and you should enjoy it. 0:26 This is a follow up episode to the last one about moving from ambivalent to ambitious. And I want to talk about that moment, when you are finally motivated. What should you be doing? How should you handle this motivation that has been bestowed upon you? By all of the work you have to do? Because there are a lot of steps that had to get you here to feel ready to make a change? Do you remember some of those from the last episode, acknowledging the dissatisfaction acknowledging the desires? Asking yourself honestly, if you're willing, and asking where you're capable? And where do you need to work on some skills? 1:02 So let's say we've acknowledged all of these components, it has taken a lot to get here, right? We had to move ourselves from ambivalent to ambitious. It's like pushing a boulder up hill. All right, so we are feeling ready. What are we doing? We're feeling ready, we listen to some podcasts, we read the books, we watch the TED talks, this is everything that I have done to get myself even more motivated. Just to keep stoking those motivation fires. This is going to happen we are going to make some change. Watch out family Mom's got her sneakers on copies on Bruno Mars, singing perm. Watch out, okay, we are here, we're ready. 1:40 What are we gonna do? What will we do? How will we handle this energy that we have that we're just ready to get started. And this is what I see happen all the time. What I did to was think I have to change all of it. Everything, Pinterest boards for all of it, the kids will be on a schedule. Every room will be decluttered vegetarian meals all week, family meditation, or let's try that morning exercise. That is how I felt when I finally woke up to my life, all of the things need to be changed. 2:09 Now your Enneagram type might start to shine through right here. How will you handle this idea of making all this change. And if you're a type nine, like me, you would turn around, crawl back into bed and just put your blankets over your head but for most people,

How do you go from sitting on the couch staring at your phone to DOING the THING you said you WANTED to be doing? I want to teach you how to spot AMBIVALENCE and how to address it, so you can go through the steps of moving from ambivalent to ambitious and feel ready and motivated to make the changes you want in your life.    I reference the 'last episode' and since I recorded this episode earlier, this is the 'last episode' on Habit Refinement that I am referring to.  What is ambivalence?  Ambivalence is being of two minds, you want it and you don't. Ambivalence distances us from making change - sometimes this distance is helpful and sometimes it just keeps us stuck  The steps of moving from ambivalent to ambitious  Waking up to your life and becoming aware of our dissatisfaction and/or our desires. This can be a very uncomfortable stage that requires humility and bravery to address. Ambivalence shows up here with a defense for the status quo Willingness to make a change, and the most important thing required here is honesty on if you are in fact WILLING to make the change and go through the change process A sense of capability. We expect ourselves to be innately capable of making changes and overlook the fact that making change takes layers of skills we need to develop and hone.  Change takes more than just discipline and motivation I wanted to lay all of this foundation out because it is worth acknowledging what it actually takes to be ready to make a change. We often think we just need motivation and discipline and then change will be innate. But it takes so much more, particularly paying attention to the stories we are telling ourselves and what we really truly want and are willing to do.    Help yourself move from ambivalent to ambitious What am I dissatisfied with here? What is my part in it? What is in MY control? What do I want, what do I desire? What doubts come up for me here? Am I willing to make this change, and go through this process? What skills do I have that will help me? What skills do I think I will need to work on developing? Am I willing to do that?   Episodes mentioned 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:06 Hey friends, it's Shawn, your nerdy girlfriend life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple purpose podcast. If you are a simple on purpose podcast listener returning again, Welcome, friend. So glad that you were here coming back time and time again, I love spending this time with you. And if you're new here, welcome around here around simple on purpose. And we're all about finding ways to make your life more simple and more purposeful, so you can show up for the things that really matter to you. 0:32 In this new year, we're talking about things like intentions and personal values and habits. And I want to keep building on this topic because I don't want you to lose momentum. If you are feeling like this is on your brain making some changes looking at your habits, then I want to help keep stoking that fire so to speak. In the last episode, we talked about going through your daily habits that you already have and starting to refine them. 0:58 And that was a really powerful exercise for me, I did that as I was writing those notes for the show. And I've kept my notes in my notes app on my phone. And I'm going back to them. And I'm still looking at like my daily habits and how I want to be altering them a little bit. I found it really helpful. For instance, I'm already spending less time on my phone in the morning and a little bit more time with my planner, kind of figuring out what I want my life to look like instead of looking at what other people's lives looks like. There are worksheets with that last episode.

In order to do my capsule wardrobe challenge (#moms30for30) I decided to do a big closet declutter. I'm sharing my takeaways and tips to help you do that big clothes declutter, make refined decisions about what stays, and have a strategy to build up a capsule wardrobe that WORKS FOR YOU! Cause, you need a wardrobe that works for your lifestyle,  your taste and your body!   The steps of my recent big closet declutter: Precontemplation: motivation, conviction, paying attention to what is there, considering the style vision you have for yourself  The total closet clear-out: considering do I NEED more clothes? Approach to choosing what would stay in my closet: what stays vs what goes,  refining my closet, choosing items I love Questions to ask to decide what stays: versatility, fit, personal style How to consider your lifestyle when choosing what clothes to keep: hobbies, activities, weather, job, your seasonal lifestyle, how you want to feel in your current life, etc.  Approaches to building a capsule wardrobe: Focus less on numbers and meet yourself where you are at Seasonal rotations  Creating uniforms (owning it and making ones that work for your lifestyle)  How to handle the clothes you are decluttering (the safe option vs the one that is hard for us) Consider how you like to interact with fashion (room to play vs sticking to simple and timeless)   The steps to build a capsule wardrobe that works for your life Keep what you LOVE Keep what you feel good in (fit, style, shape, colour) Keep clothes that work for your lifestyle Spend the time getting to know your closet and learning how to put outfits together Make some uniforms you can have as go-to outfits Consider the 'gaps' items that you want to bring in.  Shop with a list, shop mindfully  Don't buy into the urgency to have a perfect capsule wardrobe tomorrow    How to join in the #moms30for capsule wardrobe challenge (Feb 1st!) Share in the Facebook group Tag me on Instagram   Episodes mentioned: Episode 151. Capsule wardrobe challenge #moms3for30 Saturday morning chores Waves of decluttering, How I Started Decluttering (+ tips and insights) Episode 90. Declutter ‘what if I need it one day?' items from your home with THIS shift Episode 104. Dress like you are 30 read all about the past #moms30for30 here   Full transcript 0:08 my aim is to help you simplify. And that really means removing those distractions, those thoughts, those stories that distract you those habits that distract you those things that distract you. And to start to fill your space and your life and your mind with the things you want to keep. 0:34 And we're talking about clothes, shopping, I mean, we can get deep. And you know, it is kind of a deep experience to really start analyzing your relationship to your closet, how you're dressing yourself each day. But I want to continue on the theme of the capsule wardrobe challenge. 0:50 So last week, I recorded an episode that I would be doing the capsule wardrobe challenge the mom's 30for30. This is the challenge that I've been doing since 2014. This will be I think, time number seven that I'm going to do it. And we call it the mom's 30 for 30. Because it is for kind of just that regular old mom life that we're living. And we're gonna wear 30 items of clothes for 30 days. So go back and check out last episode, if you're interested in more info on that more encouragement around that. 1:18 But I did let you know that as part of this process for me, I was going to be doing a big declutter of my closet. And I shared it on Instagram. I shared it in the Facebook group. I did it this past weekend. So I'm going to follow up with an episode on how I did my Declutter. And you guys had some questions around how I made my decisions. So I want to tell you all about that. And then end it all with some real practical tips that I've learned over th...

The 30for30 is a popular closet remix challenge. This February 1st I will be hosting a #moms30for30, which is a challenge we have been doing since 2014, where we wear 30 items for 30 days.  You can learn so much about your relationship to your clothes and how to make your closet WORK FOR YOU!    The build-up to the big closet declutter: Packing outfits for a trip How do you feel when you see your fave outfits hung up in a tidy closet How do you feel about your cluttered closet full of all the things What can help you do an effective closet declutter?  If you are gearing up to declutter your closet then consider getting to know your clothes, putting them through an interview of what will stay. I like to do this with a closet remix challenge, like the #moms30for30, wearing 30 items for 30 days and putting together different outfits.  Start paying attention to the clothes you reach for the most, try on clothes you rarely wear and ask how you feel in them (are they uncomfortable for you?).    What we need to know about doing a closet remix challenge This isn't about looking the most instagrammable for a full month. This is about getting dressed, putting outfits together and making some decisions about what will earn a spot in your closet.  This comes down to the big question we often face when we declutter our clothes: Can I still be enough if I don't keep a closet full of options? Decluttering your closet may challenge your sense of security and you might not a scarcity mindset coming in (check out the episode on that right here).    Will you join the challenge and do a 30for30 with us? This is about learning more about your relationship to your clothes and how you are dressing yourself each day.  I am doing this challenge for the seventh time (started them in 2014) and I learn (relearn) something valuable about my relationship to my clothes and how I am getting dressed.  This is meant to be fun and helpful. It can help you put together outfits that you feel great in.  The challenge isn't about being the cutest and trendiest, the challenge is more about getting dressed each day.    Ways to let me know you will join in the challenge: Share it in the Facebook group Let me know on Instagram Let me know by responding to the Simple Saturdays email   Full transcript 0:09 Welcome to this podcast. I'm here to help you think about the ways that you have been showing up for your life on autopilot. Letting life just happen at you letting things just build up. You might notice this if you have some frustrations and overwhelmed some resentment, you might be living on autopilot. And I want to help you look at the ways that you can simplify. Remove the distractions, remove the clutter, from your home, your heart and your life, so that you can show up for things on purpose with intention. 0:38 So this, it's been a while. It's been a while since I've been back on the podcast, I took a week off again, this winter is slowing me down. I feel like maybe I should just hibernate, like maybe I should just call it what it is and go hibernate, like compare and see all in the spring. But I just love the podcast so much. So I'm back again. I was sick this past week, I had a kid home for some of the week. And I really it's been a while since I've been sick, not COVID. But it's been a while since I've been sick. 1:06 And I just had to laugh at myself. Because I was dreaming over the fall. I'm having this real sick day where I would like you know, before you had kids where you would just stay home and you would watch TV in your pajamas and just check out. And then it turned out I got one. And I really struggled with giving myself a sick day. Which is weird because of all the advice I give my friends and my clients to listen to their bodies and honor their seasons. It's another thing to do it right. I mean, I can call in sick to work. I can put the podcast off for a week,

The new year brings a lot of thought to the goals and habits we want to have.  I have a new tool for you to try if you are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with all the work that goes into creating new habits and stopping 'bad habits'. This is called habit refinement.    A new tool to try for making habit change With this tool, we do a habit audit to get awareness around what. is already happening and then we use our vision/goals to help us determine how we can refine our current habits and routines to better serve us.  Get the worksheets Throughout this episode, I am sharing examples of how I use this tool and I have some worksheets for you to put it into practice in your own life too.  Try a new approach to habit change I know this approach might feel counter-intuitive but I encourage you to give it a try as you approach making changes in your life this year.  I think you will find this is a gentle yet still challenging way to approach habit change that might help you be more sustainable in your efforts.  Posts and resources mentioned in this episode: Find all the shows and the show notes (and transcripts) right here How to make a daily routine that works for you and your family (especially for those of you at home with your kids home from school right now) Four simple habits that make my momlife better (for ideas on simple habit refinement you can add to your routine) The Live your Vision worksheets (the free worksheets to help you set a vision for the nine areas of your life) The Life on Purpose workbook (discover, organize and plan the life you want to live) Habit & Routine Refinement (the worksheets that go with this episode) How to hygge when you're a busy mom (for that cozy, connected, contented vibe of HYGGE that I mentioned in the Simple Pleasure) Hygge vs minimalism (how these two trends stack up to one another) Get connected: Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) The Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram  FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:06 Around here, I am sharing ways that you can declutter your home, your heart, and your life. So that you can get rid of those distractions, those frustrations, those sources of overwhelm that are slowing you down, and keeping you from showing up well, for the things that you do want, keeping you from showing up with purpose and intention every single day in the little things that are going to move you closer to that life that you want to be building into. 0:38 So first of all, I want to give a shout out to my fellow moms who have their kids home from school right now. I'm in BC, so our kids were kept home for an extra week, from the winter break. I think in Ontario, you guys have your kids home two extra weeks. So I just want to give a shout out to you guys. And my heart goes out to all the parents who are managing this and making it work. And I know it's not always pretty, it's not always easy. Everyone's in the space, everyone's sharing the space, people are restless, the routines that you've relied on are not happening. 1:10 And so I just I feel for you, because I know what that's like, I was so grateful to my husband that he could take two days off to get me through that week that my kids have been home. But one thing that I always have to come back to and I have to remind myself after not doing it for a couple days, and realizing like oh, I actually need this is a plan a little bit of a plan, a little bit of a routine in place. And I've got some episodes on that. I'll link in the show notes if they help you make a plan that works for you guys and your family. 1:40 But moving ahead, thinking about this time where we're going to get back to school, we're going to kind of get back to our routine, a lot of us in the New Year naturally start to think about our routines and our habits. And habits is a topic that is really popular around this time of year.

How do you want to spend your time? Your energy? Your space and money? When you decide in line with your values you will feel intentional and purposeful with all your little and big decisions.  Knowing your personal values helps you learn more about what matters to you, how you want to show up and how to make confident choices in your day and life.  But many of us are out of touch with our values, or we have lost touch with them when we entered into motherhood. I want to help you uncover what matters to you, what your personal values are - and I want to do that without the overwhelm that comes from looking at a blank slate.    Knowing your values helps you with: Handling the world of 'too much' and decision fatigue (episode on that here) Saying your BEST YES, owning your decisions Feeling like you are living with integrity, purpose and contentment  In this episode, we talk about Times when we aren't in touch with our values, how we lose touch with them, how we adopt other people's values instead of uncovering our own Three simple exercises to find your personal values A simple conversation you can have with your loved ones to talk about your values in the season ahead How to approach setting values for this season ahead How to determine if it is your personal value or just one you think you 'should' have   Related posts: Blog post: Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? Blog post: I've been living on auto-pilot and I'm changing my ways Blog post: How to define simple living for your family   Resources mentioned: The Live your Values worksheets The Live your Vision worksheets The Life on Purpose Workbook (discover, organize and plan the life you want to live) The Life on Purpose Roadmap (self-paced course, a life coach in your pocket!)   Get connected: Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) The Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram    Episode Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, you're here to go in life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome back. Welcome to 2022. Welcome back to the podcast, you might know that I have taken a break from the podcast this past month, it was a much needed break. For me, I think, actually my first ever break from the podcast since I started in 2018. And I was sharing with you guys over the past couple of episodes. And in the email that I was in a really demanding season this past month demanding of my time and demanding of my emotions. And a big factor in all of that is that I had all three kids home and you know, I've kind of built up my life to align with my kids being in school and doing things during their school hours. But they had all been home since the flooding we experienced in British Columbia. Our Town was really affected by that. So since the middle of November, I think they had about 12 hours total of school time, since the middle of November that they've actually gone to school. So it's been really hands on here. And, and it's been, you know, a month of some hard things. But there's also been some awesome things too. One of the most awesome things was thanks to grandma and grandpa. We went away on New Year's Eve for the night, we went to the city spent a night in the hotel ate some great food. And that was something that I had been looking forward to this entire month, just counting down those days. Because I knew I needed that rest. I knew I needed that reset. I'd been operating in stress mode, really for the better part of the month. And I was just really feeling quite worn out. I knew I wanted to be showing up better. I knew I wasn't showing up. As a mom, I want it to be specifically like all of the other things on my plate, I pushed to the backburner. And I was just being a mom. But I felt like I wasn't even doing that very well. And that brings me to the topic of this episode. Anytime I talk about quote unquote, showing up,

Family traditions are something we often think about as we start having kids. Many of us are looking for traditions to bring into our holidays that help us make memories with our kids. Sometimes we even feel an urgency to find the 'right ones, right now'.   As we start to incorporate these new tradition ideas, sometimes they don't always work. But here is why I think it is worth spending the effort doing some trial and error with traditions. . . .      In this episode we cover: the ways that traditions help us express our values as a family the role of traditions in family heritage finding stability in the routine of traditions the urgency we have to establish our new family traditions traditions we tried that DIDN'T work traditions that DO work for us  what I've learned about having Christmas traditions as a young family  The Christmas Pajama Stockings The blog post with all the Christmas tradition ideas is right here Simple Christmas Series Simple Christmas Podcast Episodes Episode 42. How to simplify the Christmas stress & gift giving (your Q+As) Episode 43. Tips to Simplify Your Christmas (kids, clutter, traditions, hosting, festivities). Simple Christmas Series Blog Posts Five Tips to Make Your Christmas Simpler and More Enjoyable 11 Ways to Simplify the Gift Giving Our Fave Minimalist and Clutter-Free Kid Gift Ideas Easy Toddler Christmas and Advent Activities Five Tips to Make Your Christmas Simpler and More Enjoyable Nine Ways to Make Your Gifts More Thoughtful How to Shop Your Closet for Great Holiday Outfits Bust These ‘Good Hostess' Myths and Open Up Your Home this Holiday Season 42 Simple Ways to Spread the Love this Christmas Finding Your Simple Christmas How to Transition to a Minimalist Family Christmas   The Simple Christmas Planner can be found right here.    The simple pleasure of the week: filling out the NEW planner/calendar Planning your day as a mom How to Get Started Bullet Journalling (easy tips for busy moms)   Share in the Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me or message me on Instagram Join the Simple Saturdays email (it is FUN! email)   FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:06 Welcome to the support purpose podcast. Here I like to share with you all the ideas, all of the tips, all of the encouragement that will help you simplify your home, your heart, your life and show up for the things that are really important to you. I want you to make space, make time and make energy for those things that you really deeply value and want more of in your life. 0:32 As we are coming up to Christmas, something that a lot of us do is think about traditions, we think about the Christmas traditions we had as children, the ones we want. And sometimes we're just carrying along traditions that we've had just adopting them into our future without really even thinking about it. 0:49 I remember back when I had my first my first son, this was 10 years ago. And I was really excited by this notion that I got to build a family, I got to be an active designer in the culture of my family. Back then I also had a ton of anxiety along for the ride. So that derailed a bit of my attempts. But I remember coming into the Christmas season and just building up a lot of buzz around, what are our traditions going to be? I wanted some like memories, I wanted to create some flippin memories. As a family. I wanted my kids to talk about these traditions that we had, I wanted them to carry them on in their own lives. 1:28 And it hit me in that process of really thinking about what are we going to do as a young family? And how are we going to bring traditions into our culture and our Christmas, that traditions are something that are quite important, maybe even sacred. And I think there are three major roles that traditions play in a family. 1:47

Would you like to be more intentional with how you use your phone? Do you want to set boundaries and take back control of what your relationship with your phone looks like? In this episode, I have tips on how to do all of this, and I share my own personal phone boundaries that you might like to try too. Make sure to get the worksheets to help you create your own plan for creating intentional phone habits.    Follow up to the last episode on the phone habits and addictions that are made on autopilot.  Do you have a motivation for changing your current phone habits? What do you want more of? Less of?  If you want to understand your current phone habits, get the worksheets from the last episode right here.  In this episode we cover: What we are trying to GET from our phones, what we turn to them for.  Getting our needs met in REAL LIFE and not just by our phones How to be intentional with your phone Setting boundaries with how you use your phone I share my own personal phone limits and challenges that help me be intentional and accountable with my phone habits Being intentional with your time OFF of your phone as well Challenging the autopilot habits you have created with your phone Challenging the cultural phone habits we accept as the status quo  Changing your mind about what you think about your phone Challenging the sense of urgency you get from your phone Being uncomfortable as you learn not to rely on your phone Doing the work of practising new and more intentional phone habits   Get the worksheets to help you set intentional phone habits for yourself  This episode has worksheets to help you explore this topic and make an action plan for yourself. Get the worksheets right here.      Links mentioned in this episode: Episode 146 Understanding your autopilot phone habits Episode 77. Why you need a day of BEING, and take rest from the DOING When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids The Moms30for30 challenge   The next episode will come out in two weeks.  In the meantime, make sure to stay connected through: The Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) Simple on Purpose on Instagram Share something in the closed Facebook group (join here, make sure to answer the entry questions)    FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:11 Today we are following up on the last episode. And in the last episode we talked about, maybe if you feel like you have a bit of a phone addiction or some unhealthy phone habits, understanding how those habits are made, and they're really made on autopilot. And now we have this relationship to our phone and how we use it and the habits we have, that are just reflexes. They're just on autopilot, and really stepping back to challenge them and understand them and decide what we want to do about it. 0:38 So today, we're going to talk about what you want your relationship with your phone to be like, what kind of phone habits do you want? What kind of boundaries Do you want to set. 0:46 And it is kind of funny to be recording this today, because I have been on my phone almost double my usual amount lately. And that is because of what's happening around me right now I live in Southern BC, we were hit by massive floods. And these floods just come in and they do all this damage. And we're left with roads that are washed out. So groceries can't come in with gas lines that are out. So we're out of heat, we're out of hot water, the water isn't safe to drink, it's contaminated. sewer systems are struggling, power's out kids are home. And this is just the state that we're in. 1:22 And so for me being on my phone and being connected and reading updates, reading, what's what's happening, can I use the water, all of these little details, it shows us how valuable technology is, it's so valuable. 1:36 But still, even in times like this even in emergencies in crisis situations.

I get messages from moms, and coach women who feel like they are addicted to their phones. They share how it pulls them out of their presence with their kids and their lives. It sucks up their time and they feel like they never have enough time. It draws in their attention and they are scrolling social media that does NOT make them feel any better about themselves.  It seems that our phone usage isn't getting us what we want. I want to unpack this relationship we have formed with our phones, by letting it be on autopilot.   Make sure to get the worksheets that help you assess your relationship to your phone and better understand the exact impact it is having on you and your life.  The goal with all of this is not to villainize our phones (I like my phone!), and not to bring more judgment and shame onto ourselves (lasting positive change does not happen from a place of negative judgment) - the goal with this is AWARENESS - what is going on and is it working?   In this episode you will hear: the good things about phones and technology the term 'phone addiction'  how are phone habits developed the surprising find about habit-reward and how we use our phones the negative impacts we might have from our phone habits time, energy, relationships, work, attention, distractions, physical impacts, coping mechanism, mental health, sleep the worksheets to help you understand how you are using your phone and how it is impacting you. We need to be aware of the costs before we choose to give up the benefit in some way.  GET THE FREE WORKSHEETS RIGHT HERE   Make sure to send in your QUESTIONS/TOPICS for an upcoming Q+A Episode. You can send them to me through Instagram, or share in the Facebook group.    LINKS The study on dopamine, rewards and phones Distracted phone users don't see the gorilla Text neck, how staring at your phone impacts your body     FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends at Shawna your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast, episode 146 Your relationship with your phone on autopilot. 0:16 And I know we hear a lot of negativity around the impacts of phones on us as a society on us in our daily lives. But before we kind of talk about that and unpack that, I want to talk about the good things because I think they really are good things. I am someone who likes my phone, I like to use it. I like the technology. 0:38 I got my first smartphone when I was like 27 or 28. So it's like 2009/ 2010. Before that it was the Flip Phone era in my life, there was a bit of texting, definitely not photos, surely no internet connection. And you know, back when I did get my phone, that there was this big catchy saying out there. There's an app for that. So everything was really about using these different types of apps for productivity and games. And you know, it was just really a place to check emails and play some games for the most part, I think. 1:10 But that quickly advanced and by the time I was having babies, I was using my phone often I would scroll Pinterest a lot. While I was up at night nursing, I would watch some Netflix Well, I was nursing or pumping things like that. 1:26 So as my babies were growing, so was my phone usage. And as they moved a little bit into toddlerhood, Instagram became a really important part of my daily life. It truly felt like a community. It was my community. I followed other moms on their in their day, we would check in with each other. There was no scheduled posts, no algorithms messing your feed, no stories just in the moment sharing. 1:50 So I'm not going to shame another mum who's using her phone because to me it it has been a place where I found community I found entertainment, I found information, I found answers to my questions. And I think that this is a really useful tool in our lives. 2:06

I knew I had to share this episode as I heard more and more coaching clients tell me how much they appreciated hearing me say that I don't always enjoy my kids, that I was a mom martyr, that pregnancy was hard.  I keep hearing how much it matters to hear that they aren't alone in these struggles of motherhood.  In this episode I am talking about: Feeling like you aren't 'normal' Welcoming the resistance you might feel to the idea that you aren't alone What I have seen in coaching groups of women and moms The struggles I have in my own home, maybe you have them too  Sibling rivalry Having compassion for ourselves allows us to have it for others Being honest about our struggles Allowing people in, and offering support to others Stop by the Facebook community group or send me a message through Instagram.                View this post on Instagram                         A post shared by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell)     The list of links you might like/mentioned in this post: Permission to grieve (having a parent with dementia) Dear friend, you are not alone My C-Section and the feelings I was ashamed to admit I had The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) A Mom No Matter What (For the mom who had a hard labour and delivery) God's grace in difficult parenting  Marriage posts When they tell me I'm lucky to have him 12 ways to heal and strengthen your marriage Mom martyr (making motherhood harder than it needs to be) When I realized I didn't enjoy my kids The Sibling Rivalry podcast episode that changed my whole mindset around parenting    Full Episode Transcript (unedited) 0:06 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the salon purpose podcast. If you are a regular listener, you may have noticed I did not have an episode out last week. And I just thank you for your graciousness in me taking that break. 0:22 If you are in the simple on purpose Facebook community group, you know why that I took that break, I had spent the weekend before at my parents house. And we were decluttering, this room in that house that was just stuffed full of boxes, and scrapbooking supplies and pictures and writings. And this isn't unusual for my childhood home to have boxes of stuff, particularly a room of boxes of stuff. And this was just a process that we as a family had been planning on doing. Since my mother went into care in December with dementia, we knew that we wanted to start addressing these areas in the house that were built up that we could just kind of sort through it, see what's there, start honoring what's there and just makes use of the space a little bit better. 1:08 So I went with my siblings and my dad and we went through things box by box item by item, it was a lot of sorting, I would definitely put an emphasis on the ability to sort is key to good decluttering. But it was also hard. It was also healing, it was hard it brought us together, I think. And you know, that's just something that I felt like I had a lot in my head a lot in my heart. And I just wanted to take last week off and give myself the space to unpack that on my own. Without adding more to my plate. 1:42 You might also know that I work a couple of days a week with the local health authority. And then I have coaching in school on top of that, that I also do. So my weeks do feel very full. I do feel like my simple slow life has definitely been up ended a little bit this year for a lot of very purposeful things that I want to be working on. 2:05 Anyways, if you want to message me privately, if you are wondering about decluttering if you're wondering also about having a parent with dementia, and you have specific questions on that, I'm thinking about maybe doing an episode on that if people have questions.

We hear a lot about the mental burden that moms carry. We have so many things on our minds about all the people and all the things that need to happen PLUS all the things we want to be doing for ourselves too. It is a weighty mental load that we are carrying around.  I want to talk about a concept that will help you see some ways you can lighten this mental load. The concept is decision fatigue, which is the overwhelm we feel from having to make so many decisions in our day.  And if you pay attention, you will notice how almost every moment we have another decision to make about what to eat, how to respond, how to spend our time, how to act, what to do next. And by the end of the day, we are exhausted by it.  I want to talk about practical ways to manage decision fatigue, so it is one less contributor to your mental load as a mom.      In this episode we cover: Three ways that having too many choices impacts us and our satisfaction The three ways we respond to too many choices How struggling with making decisions impacts our view of ourselves and our capabilities One guiding principle to deal with decision fatigue Practical ways to put that into action Helping our kids with decision fatigue Why deciding ahead of time is more proactive    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  Links The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwarz The Paradox of Choice TEDTalk The Life on Purpose Workbook Homemaker, on Purpose Family rhythms A Simple Hack to Make Meal Planning Easy Moms 30for30 (wearing 30 items of clothes for 30 days) How having fewer clothes makes my life easier Tips for putting outfits together Planning your day (for moms) What Happened When I Took Away Half of My Kids' Toys Practical Advice For Purging Kids' Toys Decluttering with kids FREE MINIGUIDE The Live Your Values FREE WORKSHEETS The Live Your Vision FREE WORKSHEETS   SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK The very funny Instagram account I like to follow is Hayley Morris. Her skits of Me vs My Brain are so simple and clever and show so many great examples of our mental drama A fave skit from her: Calling to book a haircut   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:06 Hey Friends Welcome to simple and purpose podcast I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach. And I am a mom of three, practical minimalist, a life coach helping women live their lives on purpose. I'm also the author because I don't say this often enough, you guys are like what you have a book, I have the like on purpose workbook, and the homemaker on purpose book. And that homemaker on purpose book, it isn't about baking bread, and embroidering tea towels, neither of which I have skills to do. But it is about taking the mental drama out of housework, and learning to create simple habits that help you take care of your home. 0:43 So here we talk a lot about mental drama, because we are just walking around with our mind full swirling with thoughts and ideas and errands and tasks and feelings and avoidance of feelings. So our mental life is happening and our mental life matters. Because what's happening up there in our mental life, it seeps into how we feel and how we act. And there's a lot of our mental life that does run under the radar, this is called the subconscious or I just call it the autopilot. We might not even realize I didn't have that mental load, we're carrying that stress and anxiety until something happens. And we just snap, it's just gone too far. Or we just burst into tears. And we realize, oh, I've been carrying that all day. 1:32 And I know we've heard a lot lately about the mental load the mental burden for moms, we think about all of the things that we need to remember and pay attention to and do and the things that aren't being done. And it's just a lot to be carrying in our minds th...

There is a type of clutter we ALL have in our home. It is identity clutter - you know those items that for someone we are not - but rather for different versions of ourselves: our past self, our aspirational self, our socially-compliant self, and our test self.  I walk you through these four types of identity clutter, how they challenge our sense of self and what we can learn from them.  Make sure to get the download worksheet of the four types and clutter questions you can ask to help you decide what to do with the identity clutter.    What is identity clutter? Identity clutter are things in our home that are  Who we used to be (past self) Who we wish we could be (aspirational self) Who others think we should be (socially-compliant self) Who we think we are, but we aren't sure, probably just following a trend (test self) How do trends contribute to identity clutter? A lot of our identity clutter comes from trying out trends. And it makes sense that we, as humans, would follow trends. There is safety in being part of the community, there is a sense of status we can display, and we are looking to others to inform us on what is socially acceptable.  However, the more we move from trend to trend, the less we actually take time to get to know who we are and what we like BEYOND the trends.    The physical burden of identity clutter The more obvious problem that identity clutter causes us is the use of space. The more space we give to storing these items, the less space we have for living our life.  The important question to consider here is: how do I WANT to use my space? This should also be an intentional and purposeful decision.    The emotional burden of identity clutter Whenever we see these items stored in our home, we are constantly reminded of who we AREN'T being. It can cause feelings like shame, or loss, or guilt, or frustration.  It can also cause overwhelm because it adds to the list of options of how we should spend our time and the person we should be. It can cause decision fatigue if a very subtle way.    When to declutter the identity clutter? In my experience with decluttering, it happens in waves. We start with the low hanging fruit, the hard 'no's. As we come back to these spaces from time to time, we keep refining and editing down from the bad/good to the ok/good then to the good/great.  The identity clutter, sentimental items and items we think are valuable are ones we often leave until a later stage as they require more examination and thought.  Episode 90 covers the items that have us asking 'what if I need this one day?'   Why is identity clutter hard to get rid of? Each of these versions of 'us' can be hard to let go of. From mourning our past selves, to honouring our upbringing and all the 'stuff' that comes with that, to acknowledging the parts of our aspirational selves we are ready to let go of. You can listen to the When Shopping Isn't Making Your Life Better episode for more on the motivation behind our 'trend' self.  Each of these types of Identity Clutter brings along its own need to learn from, accept and integrate the lessons this item of clutter has taught us.  Make sure to get the free download to help you walk through questions for each type of identity clutter, and decide what to do about it.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK This simple pleasure is a shout out to all the cold Canadians who are on their first days of Fall. This heated shawl gets me through the colder months.  It is also my go-to when I have a migraine or when my kids want a little extra comfort while sick.    Full Transcript (unedited) 0:07 Welcome to the podcast, where I aim to keep all of the episodes 20 minutes or less, so that we can squeeze in these virtual coffee dates,

We all feel this sense of  'ideal self' that we want to be moving towards. It is safe to assume a lot of us desire some change on some level in some area of our lives. But we need to consider what change will cost us. We can't ever change if we aren't willing to make some kind of investment in it.    Seeing where we need to make an INVESTMENT in the change we want This episode started out with me wanting to share on INBOX ZERO, but the issue became about the TIME it would take to accomplish inbox zero This brings up the issue of making an upfront investment in the change we want for later in our life.    We want to make changes As I have worked to live my life 'on purpose' (intentional living), it meant making a lot of change in my life.  And in almost every coaching session I have, I am working with someone on a change they want to make: change in relationships, in approach, in time management, in how they handle their health, etc.  But we need to be mindful of how easy we expect it to be.  DO WE WANT CHANGE? YES WHEN DO WE WANT IT? WHEN IT IS EASY!   Maintaining the status quo gets us more of the same Our daily lives are being run to maintain what we are already doing. So, we can almost predict what our future will be like based on what our status quo is right now. We will get more of the same.    Changing your life doesn't have to be a huge overhaul There is a famous Mel Robbins quote "the cost of your new life is your old one" and that always averted me from change. Sounds too big, no thank you.  My approach to change has been making small changes over time. And I really believe that making small investments over time can change your whole life (I share all about this right here)   What will change cost us? How will we pay for it? When I talk about investing in change, the cost of change, I am talking about using your AVAILABLE resources. These are the resources we all have available to us in some way: our time, our physical energy, our emotional energy, our space, our money. I talk about managing these resources in the Simplify Your Life Series Remeber, this is hard because we have to learn the skill of showing up for ourselves. When we invest in changing our life, it becomes 'you working for you'. I talk more about this skill in this episode: Do you trust yourself to show up for you   When we want an easy life I wanted an easy life, so I always did the 'easy things'. Turns out I had that wrong. If I wanted an easy life later, I had to do the hard thing now. I had to make some upfront investments and pay the cost now.    Discomfort either way, which one will you choose It can be freeing and humbling to realize: You are uncomfortable where you are, in the status quo Change will be uncomfortable, and maybe unfamiliar But the choice of which discomfort you choose is up to you.  Over these past few episodes, I have been challenging you to get  #uncomfortableonpurpose. I hope you keep tagging me on Instagram to share this and come share it in the Facebook community group.  Quote by Dean Koontz: “Change isn't easy... changing the way you live means changing what you believe about life. That's hard... When we make our own misery, we sometimes cling to it even when we want so bad to change because the misery is something we know. The misery is comfortable.”   If you want to sign up for the Making Change Challenge, you can do that right here.    SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK The library apps to get books, audiobooks and magazines.  The Overdrive App The Libby App IG accounts I like for book ideas are @thislibrarianisreading and @read.write.janis   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  Books Referenced Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah    

Feel like you are shopping too much? Want to bring a minimalist approach and mindset into how you shop? Every season we seem to be bombarded with the latest fashion trends - a marketing strategy that fast fashion uses to get us to keep buying all the latest colours and patterns.  I know I feel like I need to buy a new wardrobe each season and need to remind myself of everything I already DO have in my closet.  In this episode, I will talk about WHY we shop, how to know when it is causing a problem for you and how to bring a mindful and minimal approach into your shopping.  Make sure to get the free downloads that go with this episode, right here Why it feels good to shop The neurochemical payoff In her great book Tame Your Anxiety by Loretta Breuning outlines the neurochemicals we like to get (serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine). I share my view on how I think we get each of these neurochemicals from shopping.  Control and choice Shopping is also something we can turn to feel in control, which is a desirable feeling for many of us.  Avoidance strategy Many of us can turn to shopping when we want to 'feel better', or also to say when we don't want to feel the negative or uncomfortable things we are facing. This is like emotional eating, we can emotion shop. Many coaches call  this a buffer (a term coined by Brooke Castillo), the things we turn to for distraction from feeling poor.    When shopping isn't making our lives better Years ago I started decluttering my home and it hit me how much my shopping habits had contributed to the state of my home.  I could see that I had spent a lot of my 20s buying things that I thought I needed to be a credible adult. I had accumulated so much by using shopping as entertainment and by shopping by reaction more than intention.  It caused a problem for me because I could see that I had a home full of stuff that was  a substitute for what I really wanted  things I 'thought' I needed things I thought we 'me' but turned out to be identity clutter   How to know when you are shopping too much Shopping in itself isn't a bad thing or a negative activity. Shopping can be fun! Often it is how we meet a lot of our needs and create the life we want.  Something things to consider to know if you are shopping too much is its impact on the different areas of your life. Shopping may be a problem for you if you notice a negative impact on your relationship, your finances, your space, your ability to be present, or your own sense of integrity.    Bringing a minimalist approach to shopping The work starts before you even go shopping or load up the online store. To bring a minimalist mindset into shopping, you will want to only buy what you need and love.  A strategy that is really helpful here is to start with an inventory of what is already in your home. You can avoid bringing in a lot of unnecessary items when you 'shop your home' and see all the inventory you already have.    Being mindful about how you shop It is important to shop with intention rather than reaction. Having a plan when you shop can keep you on task here, make a list of the items you are specifically looking for.  I unpack some powerful, mindful questions you can ask yourself WHILE shopping. You can get a download of these questions to keep on your phone right here.    Get in touch You can find the Simple Squad (our community on Facebook) right here.  Send me a message or tag me on Instagram @simpleonpurpose.ca    Full Episode Transcript  (Unedited) 0:18 And on this podcast, I share ways that you can simplify your home, simplify your heart and simplify your life. And I want to talk about getting rid of distractions and clutter in those areas, helping you identify what you're keeping what's important what you value, and show up for that. Simplify and show up. So today we're going to talk about shopping. So how did you for me right now,

I challenged you to get uncomfortable this week. Now I want to dig into doing simple things that serve a bigger purpose. Giving your discomfort a purpose to work towards the vision and goals you have for your life. I want to break it down, keep it simple, and encourage you to drop your all-or-nothing mindset.  This past weekend  I did another Abundance Day  (aka Yes Day) with my kids.  Last year I did this and shared my takeaways in this episode "I let my kids do whatever they wanted all day"   Discomfort on purpose Last week I shared how we are building lives of comfort but discomfort can serve a purpose. In the episode, I shared my own experiences with this and challenged you to do something uncomfortable ON PURPOSE (#uncomfortableonpurpose) I love to hear what you are working on (on Instagram and in the Facebook group)   Let's build on the purpose we can give our discomfort There is value in going out of your comfort zone, practicing that, and growing your tolerance for feeling uncomfortable There is also value in the empowerment and drive we get when we are working towards something we really want.   If we call it a goal, does that have a stigma for you? Do you feel like 'goal' is corporate and stuffy? Or maybe you feel like a goal will uphaul your whole life and bring failure and disappointment with it.    The truth is that we have good reasons to NOT set a goal There are benefits that we get by staying where we are and not doing the work of setting a goal.  Some of them include never challenging what we believe about ourselves, never needing to face discomfort, never having to figure it out, or do the work of showing up!   Remember that a goal won't make you a 'better' person We do have this invisible hierarchy of what makes people superior. We kinda secretly think that someone who sets goals and follows through (or looks a certain way or has certain things) is somehow a 'better person'.  Let's throw these measuring sticks into the bonfire. You don't need a goal to be a worthy person.    Maybe goals feel like an emotional burdern, so how about the idea of 'giving your brain a job' Our brain is running in the background solving the negative problems we have told it to focus on (problem-minded). We have trained our brains to do this.  How about we give our brain the job of solving some positive problems (solution-minded).    Give your brain a job, call it a goal if you want Either way, consider what the bigger purpose is for what you want to work towards.  If you feel like you don't really know what you want in your life, use these free worksheets Live your vision worksheets Live your values worksheets Or use the Life on Purpose Workbook   In this episode I cover: The good reasons we have to NOT set a goal How we train our brain to be problem minded Examples of simple goals you can set this week How to get started with a simple purpose this week (even if you never download the worksheets or get the workbook) Practicing the ART OF goals and discomfort Showing up for one, simple thing Small things can change your whole life How to address all or nothing thinking  How starting small makes us more successful in the long-run   Join in with us Share your #uncomfortableonpurpose achievements with us Tag me on Instagram, use the hashtag,  share in the Facebook group (make sure to answer those entry Qs!)   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.  The simple pleasure of the week I do love skincare and makeup and have tried a ton of moisturizers. I have found a face oil that is super affordable, has basic ingredients, simple packaging and it WORKS on my oilier skin too.  If you have oilier skin, you might like to use the Oil Cleansing Method (I've been doing it for about 8 years now)

I love comfort (#typeninevibes) and I know that a lot of my comfort-seeking is more the AVOIDANCE of discomfort.  I don't want to be uncomfortable.    What things make you uncomfortable? For me they have been things like:  Taking my small kids out in public Working on the conflicts in my marriage Exercise Getting up in the mornings Doing dishes Decluttering and organizing my home  Seeing my kid struggle or be upset Go to a social event I was nervous about Sitting with all the stress and anxiety I felt about motherhood and life Paying attention to how my body was feeling No matter how simple these may seem, they were things I was avoiding because they were uncomfortable.  But staying in what felt COMFORTABLE was coming at a cost.  What does 'staying where we are' cost us? It has a cost to our relationships, to our health, to the state of our home. This complacency costs us something.  When we realize what we have traded for comfort, it can make us feel shame.  When my eyes were opened to what my comfort was costing me I felt like something was wrong with me. I needed to 'do better' and 'be better'. The first step was letting go of the shame I felt about this. Then I had to make a plan what I wanted to do about it.  I decided I needed to TAKE ACTION.  Then I realized there were myths I believed about being Someone Who Takes Action. Myths like: it is easy, it comes naturally, it feels good, it feels motivating.  I realized that taking action felt very UNcomfortable Listen in to this episode to hear: Why do we seek comfort The cost of seeking comfort A mindset shift to help you take action The purpose of discomfort Building your tolerance for discomfort Ways I made myself uncomfortable, on purpose A CHALLENGE to join in this month   Links mentioned in this episode: Making motherhood harder than it needs to be Live your values worksheets Live your vision worksheets The Life on Purpose Workbook Small things can change your whole life The Simple on Purpose Facebook group  (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram    Use the hashtag #uncomfortableonpurpose   SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK Is FIKA - the Swedish tradition of taking a coffee break, emphasis on the break part. At the heart of it is a slowing down and truly breaking. FIKA often includes coffee, a sweet treat, and a good conversation. But it can also be done solo as well.  I love to FIKA at my home with coffee, a treat, and staring out the window at trees.  We live in a culture of BUSY and it can be a badge of honour to never stop and rest. But we know that we do BETTER WORK when we are rested.  Even as a mom you can FIKA. Over the years I have told my kids 'mom is on a coffee break' and I sit down to pause and slow down for a minute.    Full episode transript (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from sublime purpose.ca. place for you if you feel like clutter, motherhood, relationships, life, like it seems so overwhelming. And if you are finding that you go about your day to day with some kind of resentment or frustration, this is a sign you've been living on autopilot, just letting life happen at you, instead of living it on purpose with your own purpose. So thank you for being here. I am a certified coach practitioner, transformational life coach, and I use the enneagram faith if you want that included, and the cognitive behavioral therapy model as tools that I bring into my life coaching approach. I teach moms all around the world, the tools they need to set out the life they want their life on purpose. And that means knowing your vision, where do you want to go? What you want to be building, and knowing your values, what matters a long way. And whether you're doing this with me through coaching through the life on purpose workbook listening to these podcasts. I'm so happy you're here.

Looking for ways to have more fun in motherhood and BE more fun as a mom? I have asked myself this question too.  Inside of our FB Group - Simple on Purpose Community, there comes a great question. The question was in essence, I can DO fun things with my kids, take them to swim, skate,  and stuff, but how do I HAVE fun with my kids?  How do I BE fun?  In this episode, I'm going to elaborate on how I responded to that question. When motherhood becomes too serious and the fun mom you once were disappears into the background, it's time to take an honest look at the things that are stealing the fun.  These days, there's a lot of pressure on us to be both extremely involved and the perfect amount of detached. And while we were thinking about how to manage everything, there is one thing we seem to be missing — FUN.   We are all different types of moms, we all have different values we want to bring into motherhood. And let's be real — sometimes we are in no mood for fun.    If fun is one of those values you want to be working on, don't miss this opportunity to learn some tips and ideas on how to make things more fun as a mom.   In This Episode You'll Learn: What are the things that make life UNFUN [ 02:18 ] The TOP TWO hurdles to having FUN [ 04:27 ] Some ways and ideas on how to become a FUN mom [ 07:17 ] Why FUN is a personal value [ 14:00 ]   Feature In this Episode: Join our Facebook Group  When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 47. My husband's take on setting vision and goals together 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) 129. Does your ‘to-do list' overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it. 112. Are you parenting the wrong issue? (Power struggles and problem-solving) Mothering Through Anxiety 46. Listening to your life (part 3 of SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE) Spotify playlist: Kitchen Dance Party   Stay Connected with Shawna: Instagram / Facebook  Get in touch:  shawna@simpleonpurpose.ca / Get Coached    EPISODE TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca and welcome to the Simepl on Purpose podcast. For those of you who are new here, welcome. I'm so glad that you're joining us. I'm Shawna, I'm a mom of three kids right now they are 10, nine and seven. Living in small town, Canada. I am a minimalist, who discovered intentional living, that's living life on purpose, and is also something that I've been life coaching women or women all over the world who want to live with more purpose, peace, presence, and passion. Let's talk about the passion today, let's talk about having fun with our life. Specifically, being a more fun mom enjoying motherhood enjoying your kids. And this is funny, because I had a whole bunch of different episodes half drafted, I keep this running list of all the ideas that there's never a shortage of them. But I didn't really feel like I wanted to talk much about anything in particular. And then this question came into the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community group. And I thought that is what I want to talk about. The question was, in essence, I can do fun things with my kids, like, take them fun places, swimming, that kind of stuff. But how do I have fun with my kids? How do I be fun? And if you've heard over the years, I've shared that there was a time where it hit me, I don't enjoy my kids anymore. I'm not enjoying them. And it kind of hit me with this huge conviction that I want to change this, I don't like how this feels. And I spent the year actively enjoying my kids. I'll link to that post in the show notes if you want to go read it. And since that time, I have made fun one of my parenting values over the years. So every year, we set out mostly may not always Connor. But sometimes we set out our vision and values for the different areas of our life.

It's back to school time! Are you ready? I know we have been enjoying the slow pace of summer and will need to put ourselves back on schedule to make back to school run more smoothly.  Over the years we have developed routines that we rely on in our school and workweek. I want to share our three favourites with you as you think about how you want to start out this new school year as a family.  How routines help our kids and us for school days We can rely on routines to get stuff done.  It gives us the momentum and predictability and these habits set for us. I know what's going to happen, and the kids know what to expect. There's less drama over making transitions or how the kids are spending their time. If you have a kid who struggles with anxiety, knowing their part of the routine helps relieve a lot of that anxiety. How to make routines more effective Introduce this system to your family, and coach them by creating that as a habit, reminding them repeatedly. Give our kids reminders that are gentle and not heavy, hard and serious. Do not be a bear about it. I shared some more about how routines help in the episode on family Saturday morning chores   Our routines in the morning We make our lunches the night before school. The kids pack their lunch with a template we gave them. We give enough time in the morning knowing how much time everything needs to be done. The kids dress themselves and pack their bags. Start leaving 10 minutes before we think we have to go. This gives buffer, so you don't feel rushed or panicky in case something unexpected comes up. After school routine Before the kids come home, I give myself a pep talk about what kind of mom I want to show up. As the mom, that is a safe landing place for big feelings and frustrations accumulated throughout the day. For the kids, it's to hang up their backpacks, put their papers on the counter, put their lunch dishes in the sink, wash their hands. Give them a snack or have them finish their lunch if they didn't. Things to remember when you build routines Routines take time to build like any habit, so you want to be gentle with you and gentle with the kids. Keep showing up consistently for what feels important. Start as you mean to go. Start treating them how you want to be treating them in the long term. Want to bring in some routines to your week? Try the Family Rhythms worksheets    SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK This month I went on a getaway with three of my mombesties. For some years now we try to get away for a couple of nights, or at least a nice dinner. This time we went to a cheap motel, walked around, ate good food, had a little shopping and a little wine. My fave part was going to an afternoon movie the second day and then being in bed with us all reading by 930pm  But really I think the pleasure is just being with your friends, especially without kids. It is so special to spend time with your friends (date your friends) and I think it helps you fall in love with them even more/again.      EPISODE TRANSCRIPT Today, I want to talk about routines. We are getting back into school. And it's got me thinking about the routines that we pick up when school starts, I know that summer feels like our mornings, I've just been getting slower and longer and more drawn out. It's harder for me to get actually getting going in the morning because there's just kind of this wide open space that summer offers us. So I'm gearing up myself to start waking up a little bit earlier in giving myself a little mental pep talks about getting into action earlier in the morning routines. routines are very important. I think someone like me, like a type nine, we can rely on routines to actually get stuff done, we need that momentum, and that predictability and those habits set for us. I know I also like routines with my kids, because I know what's going to happen.

How did your summer go? Anything you wish you that you did more of or less of? Today I have a PROMPT episode for you - where I will prompt you through some helpful questions that I hope will help you live more intentionally.  Specifically, having a summer on PURPOSE. So let's take a minute to stop and reflect on the ways you want to improve next summer by noting what you learned from THIS summer.    I share a bit of my story about having my kids close together in age learning I had the CHOICE to declutter and facing the basement of shame.  wanting to live ON PURPOSE and let go of complacency becoming a life coach who walks other women through living with more peace, purpose, and presence in their lives   THIS IS A PROMPT EPISODE The power of a prompt You take the time to slow down and access your PFC (prefrontal cortex), the part of your brain associated with long term planning and rational decision making You ask your brain a really good question You tap into the answers that are there within you, rather than looking for external solutions and ideas    The power of an evaluation  You use what you have learned recently to make your life better (before you forget all the good things you learned!) You give this information a home, so you can come back to it later when you need it You are improving things little by little How to use an evaluation I use evaluations for special trips and holidays. This is why I added it to the Simple Christmas Planner.  I keep notes on what worked and what improvements can be made. I save them all in a google doc so I can search for them when the holiday season is back again.  You can also put reminders in your calendar that pop up before the season and link them to your evaluation notes (whether in a doc, notes app, or right in the calendar reminder) The summer evaluation Let's reflect on this summer and consider what you have learned from it that you can bring into next summer.  What was great about this summer? (What do you want to do again, what did you love, what was helpful, what mindsets were empowering?) What do you want to do differently next year? (What do you want more of/less of, what to plan/prepare, what do you want to try that you didn't this year, mindsets to remember)   Make sure to set a reminder in your calendar to check your evaluation before break starts again next year! And there you go >> You used your past to make your future better

Procrastination is an avoidant strategy and there are so many layers to it, why we do it, how to redirect it, how to accept it, and so on.  It is also something almost everyone does and something that can cause a lot of shame, especially for moms    What is procrastination? It is putting something off for later.  We all do it, everday. We put off phone calls and chores and errands.  So how do we know if we simply PRIORITIZING our time and energy of it we are procrastinating?   Why we procrastinate There is a reason that deep down it is preferable to us to put off the task. Some reasons might include overwhelm, avoidance, all or nothing perfectionism, or we deep down don't want to do it.    How the brain responds to pending tasks The brain has three jobs: seek pleasure, avoid pain, stay efficient.  When we have the thought about a task we 'should' do the brain responds inline with this criteria - will it produce pleasure or pain? does it require a lot of energy?   Procrastination is not always a bad thing Sometimes procrastinating tasks can be a benefit. There are situations where it allows us to do better work, use the sense of urgency for energy, discover our true priorities, uncover some identity clutter we might have, and have less anxiety in the present.    Three ways procrastination can be a problem: 1. Because of what we do instead of the 'task'.  We most likley turn to non-essential, short-term gratification activities. These often become our 'bad habits'.  2. Because of what is NOT getting done. Whether we feel like this moves us further away from our 'ideal' self (and make sure you know what that is!), piles up the chores, or becomes a way we do our life.  Episode 129 on Expectation Overwhelm Get the Live you VISION worksheets Get the Live your VALUES worksheets Get the Life on Purpose Workbook 3. Because of what we think it means about us. As we procrastinate we start to identify as a procrastinator (and usually this is loaded with shame and judgement). Then we start to live into this limiting identiy we have of ourselves.    Three questions to help you deal with procrastination in your day Why do I want to avoid this task? Is this task important to my personal values and vision? Is this task a prioritiy TODAY? If yes, ask: what is one small step I can do to get started? If no, schedule it on the calendar and listen to episode 150 called Do You Trust Yourself to Show Up For You.    Full transcript of the episode (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is a place where I share ideas that I hope will inspire you to slow down, think about what matters to you your personal values, and do the work of showing up well for that. Today, I wanted to talk about a topic that I have struggled with. I know a lot of us this is something I've googled myself on Pinterest over the years. And I think it's also a topic we can have a lot of shame around. And I'm I know, we're just going to scratch the surface on this on procrastination, because procrastination is an avoidance strategy. And there's so many layers to it, why we do it, how to redirect it, and accept it, and so on. So I hope that this episode will give you more understanding of what's happening mentally give you some more awareness, some more grace around it. And then I have at the end, some questions that are going to help you in the moment to deal with procrastination. What is procrastination, it is putting things off, I'll do it later. Or more accurately, it's a form of saying I won't do it right now. It's not gonna happen right now. And this is an issue that comes up in coaching because we have a stigma attached to it. Like somehow, if we are a person who procrastinates we're less of a quality person, we're less of an adult, we're less together.

When an actor is typecast, they are locked into being cast for a certain TYPE of character, always a version of the same thing. And as parents, we can typecast our own kids. We give them labels on what they are - difficult, athletic, flighty, dramatic.  We can also give them seemingly positive labels - like smart, pretty, nice - and those can have impacts on them as well.  I want to empower you with: awareness around the labels you might give your kids, how it can impact your parenting experience, how it can impact them, and what to do about it    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.  Do you typecast your kids? Do you give them labels on who they are? We all do it, we label each kid. Especially when there are sets of siblings, we somehow have a need to categorize each of them like they are gang in a sitcom.  Our labels are not facts We feel like our labels about our kids are true, but they are our opinions. We base these opinions on our experiences of them in the past. Then we have a judgement of them and our brain looks for evidence to build this into a belief   We look for more proof of our label This is the confirmation bias (aka the Post-it note). Our brain is always looking for evidence it is true. In fact, our brain filters out information to the contrary.    We build up more evidence and this belief gets very cemented.  It is important to keep in mind that this label might be sometimes true, but also sometimes it is not true.  We need to be open to seeing both.    The impacts that labelling our kids might have on our parenting 1. We treat them differently based on this label  How we do treat a kid we think is 'messy'? Do we step in and clean for them? Do we give up on trying to teach them how to clean up? It is important to get honest with ourselves about how we react to our kids from the expectations we have of them, according to the labels we have for them 2. We shape their self-concept  Kids look to us to help them shape their self-concept. The more they hear it, the more they live into it, the more they believe it, the more they perpetuate it. Our labels will put them into a box of who they are and who they are not.  3. Positive labels can put a lot of pressure on our kids as well I coach women who also struggle with failing at the seemingly positive 'labels' they've been given over the years. It can cause a lot of pressure to sustain them, and shame when 'failed'. It can impact their growth mindset (see episode 49 on having a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset)   How to handle the labels we give our kids 1. Recognize the labels you have been typecasting your kids with  Acknowledge that they are hard to give up for them and us.   2. Separate your kids from the label Your kid is not their behaviour.  Rather, everything they do is a decision and they are doing the work of getting good at making choices in their daily life. 3. Let them surprise you   When we expect a pattern of behaviour from our kids, we perpetuate that.   4. Encourage and acknowledge without the limitations of labels Give them acknowledgement more than praise (focus on specific efforts) Encourage them with what they are struggling with Call them up with what you see in them, but leave it open for them to figure out how to apply it to their lives Trying lots of new things. Vary the social roles that our kids are exposed to (as noted in the book Personality isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy) 5. Leave room for error  We have a lot of 'ideal human' standards that we want our kids to constantly (100%) meet. Give them space to make mistakes and not meet the standards, without the threat of discipline or shame.   Because people (adults and children) are not 100% awesome, 100% of the time.  6. Leave room for change

I have been researching goals and habits since we started setting them in 2015. You can hear Conor share his take on doing this work as a couple in this episode.  Over the years I have searched to the ends of Pinterest and tried a lot of strategies to create habits for myself. I was doing this work fueled by the notion that I had to become a morning person now that I was a mom. I was thinking that habits would make me the optimal human, efficient and productive.  I have since learned to bring grace into it. Chase habits that make me feel purposeful rather than productive, and to set goals and habits in line with my personal vision for the areas of my life.    Four simple habits that make my momlife better 1. Having vegetables for breakfast.  This is part of my 'food uniform' that I try to have for breakfasts and lunches.  What I used to eat was sweet and carby and I was feeling crappy and shaky after breakfast. Then I did the Whole30 (here are 11 things I learned doing the Whole30) and weaned myself off this type of breakfast.  I've been gluten-free for a few years and had to put in the effort and planning to create new food habits I could have on autopilot.  The difference I notice in having vegetables for breakfast with how I feel about myself and my approach towards my health.  I used to go days without eating vegetables, now I get it done first thing every day.  Why I love this habit: I feel proud about taking care of my health because of what I do first thing in the day.    2. Reading books instead of scrolling social media Years back I swapped this habit in a personal challenge I called One Small Habit. I swapped scrolling social media for reading on the library app.  I have read so many books over the years since I did this.  There are nights I still find myself on social media, but I can give myself a little bit of time and then redirect it to a good book.  Why I love this habit: I want to be someone who reads a lot of books, this is the action that supports that   3. Pre-dinner clean up each day When my husband is working his week on, I follow this routine almost every afternoon: I do the dishes, clear tables, sweep floors, and make dinner.  I used to be someone who avoided dishes and coached myself to become someone who can do the dishes without all the mental drama Having clear spaces in my home is something I aspire to. It helps me feel empowered and peaceful.  However, we live here and use this space so I need to do the work of clearing the table a ROUTINE.  This table clearing routine is something I ask the kids to do their part with too, so I don't become a martyr about it.  I also have started looking forward to this time of day because I will put in headphones and listen to a podcast that I enjoy.  Why I love this habit: Fewer dishes for me later, and I get to listen to a podcast     4. Taking a day of rest (and social media break) Sundays are our church and chill days. I have been working intentionally at taking a day of rest, as a mom I think this is so important (as I unpacked on this episode).  Taking a day of rest is something I crave but is also something that challenges me to sacrifice the need to be productive.  I make a point to choose activities that make me feel filled up (you know, hobbies!) Screen time is something I limit on this day as well. I  go off social media on Sundays.  I have been noticing how automatic I can find myself jumping on social media, and taking this day of rest has helped me with becoming more mindful about my relationship with social media Why I love this habit:  I am making time for my hobbies, I am learning more about my relationship to my phone, I give myself the grace to rest and feel better about the week ahead.    Doing a check-in on my vision, goals, and habits This process of making this episode allowed me to refresh myself on the habits I had written down for myself this year. 

Andrea is a Registered Dietician who is here to talk with me about our relationship to food and teaching our kids a healthy relationship with food I also had a secret motive in asking her on because I had questions about how to handle food with my kids. I know I'm undoing a lot of cultured rules, how I was raised, my own biases, and I want to be mindful about how I teach my kids, especially my daughter, about the health of food without the food guilt or body shame.       In this conversation we will cover: Common struggles that women have when it comes to their relationship with food Emotional eating can be a common situation that happens in motherhood The ‘diet culture' pressure that moms have to ‘drop the weight' can lead to restrictive and unsustainable approaches to food Using food to manage our emotions (my own experience with emotional eating in motherhood) Using food as a way to control our bodies   Healing a heritage of food guilt and body shame We know enough about attachment to know that our sense of worth and self is shaped by our caregivers Unpacking the decades of guilt and shame we have adopted Starting with some basic food plans and dropping all the food rules and restrictions Seeing the cycle where the more restrictions we give ourselves, the bigger the struggle of cravings and willpower, the stronger the guilt we feel when we eat what we ‘shouldn't' Building up trust in your body again   The role of being a mom who is managing food for herself and for everyone else The positive side of emotional eating vs the coping side of emotional eating Being a role model for our kids when it comes to a healthy relationship with food Feeding your family a variety of foods and letting go of all or nothing thinking   Taking the drama out of feeding our kids Consider the role you want to have in feeding your kids and the role you want them to learn and become confident in Anxiety and stress at the dinner table can become counterproductive to the whole dinner experience for the whole family How we can let our kids branch out on their own when it comes to food preferences The pitfalls of cooking different people different food items each dinner, becoming a short order cook  Going through the discomfort of changing the culture of cooking each kid their own foods for each meal  Using dessert as bribery (food as a reward) and what we might be teaching our kids about the ‘preferred' foods   Getting kids involved in the food preparation and planning Conversations around balancing meals Letting each kid design a balanced meal    Parents using food as a reward Using food as a treat, reward, bond, make the day more ‘fun' Phasing out the treats and bringing in alternate rewards and treats Planning out the other things you can turn to that are fun for your family   Teaching our kids about a healthy relationship with food How to have conversations with our kids about food without inducing food shame Shifting the focus on the functionality of health and food Using treat restrictions vs no restrictions  Owning our own relationship with food to create a positive food culture in our family   Getting started with shifting your family's food culture Start small Make a plan Don't overcomplicate meal prep (use the shortcuts!) Offer healthy options and let your kids decide how much they eat Phase-out using food as rewards   Find Andrea and Adventures in Feeding my Fam Andrea's blueberry and corn salad Find Andrea on Instagram, listen to her podcast, join her Facebook group (it is a very fun and valuable one!)   Other posts you might like What I learned from doing the Whole30 Mindful eating for moms  

Suzie is a mom of 2 who agreed to have a coaching call recorded to share here on the podcast. I love to share examples of coaching sessions to show the range of topics that life coaching can cover - and to give you an idea of how I approach coaching. But really, we share this because the issues that women get coached on are always an issue someone else can relate to and get support on just by listening.    Issues she wanted coaching on are: Increasing self-control around food Snacking without thinking or to get some pleasure in the day Eating inline with an AIP (autoimmune protocol) Putting off the food restrictions of the AIP   Main points we covered in this coaching session: Getting clear on what ‘self-control' would mean to her when it comes to food/health Idealizing the past self ‘before kids' and recognizing where she can let go of the expectations she puts on her current self to do what her past self has done Using the ‘rules' against herself, to keep her from sticking with it and making progress (all or nothing thought trap) Consider what level of awareness she has of her food habits and how she responds to breaking her own rules Being on autopilot through the day and using up her  willpower until it is exhausted in the day The comfort and gratification we get from snacking  Taking action from a place of feeling frustrated with your health vs from a place of feeling empowered Loosening her grip on having control and doing ‘what is right'  How we have trained our bodies to crave modern foods that give us so much dopamine  Undoing the programming and autopilot and approaching her life from her own intentional values Using the lessons learned from having an eating disorder at how to proactively approach health moving forward Looking for the disconnects on how to measure the success of diet and exercise and seeing where they can be at odds with one another Negative motivation running in the background (subconscious) vs positive motivation Listening to her inner dialogue (mental story) going into situations like snacking and how she wants to respond to herself when she eats the food and regrets it Different approaches to the AIP diet and how to manage the overwhelm it can create Acknowledging where she can seek peace instead of perfection with the approach to food Noticing the inner rebel that resists her own ‘rules' Eating mindfully in times where she normally ‘fog eating'    Questions to ask yourself  in applying this session to your own wellness journey Where do you have all or nothing thinking about your wellness? What expectations do you have of your health and wellness that overwhelm you? What values do you have for how you approach taking care of your health? How do you measure your success differently from what you say out loud to what you think deep down? Where do you feel unclear about what your approach should be? And how can you break it down to one small goal you know you want to have?   Suzie's actions and takeaways Choose one food goal to stick with (going paleo) Seek peace in food rather than perfection   Approaching her health intentionally will not feel natural, but it has to be done ON PURPOSE! Looking at the root thinking behind how she approaches health This all takes intention, it doesn't just ‘happen' because we talked about it  Make an imperfect meal plan for this week Write out her ‘intentional' thoughts she wants to practice   Other related episodes Do you trust yourself? Expectation overwhelm Why it matters what you think   Join the Simple on Purpose Facebook community here (make sure to answer the entry questions!)

This is a Q+A episode featuring questions from the Simple Squad (the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community). We are talking about feelings, marriage, seasons of life, parenting and family chores. These answers are coming at you from my life coaching point of view. I am a mom of three kids, trained Life Coach, practical minimalist, and I help moms with intentional living.   Questions covered in this episode: 1. Can you talk about the seasons of life and how we can't do certain things at certain seasons? Related posts with more information on this topic Simplify your life series All posts about Mom Life Expectation overwhelm   2. How do I change my parenting style when my husband is not on board or how can I get him on board...? Related posts with more information on this topic: When your spouse doesn't want to declutter Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) Book review: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child   3. Meeting adult friends when you have little kids Related posts with more information on this topic: Being a good mom friend Why you should date your friends   4. How to choose your feelings (eg. when you are annoyed at your husband but want to feel kind)? Related posts with more information on this topic: Being mindful in marriage Working through a bad mood with one question My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn't care about me Myths about emotion coaching Tolerating tough emotions in ourselves and our kids   5. What is a good system for taking turns with family chores and duties? Related posts with more information on this topic: Saturday morning chores Doing chores you don't want to do  A Year of Family meetings    6. How to handle bullying in school?    FULL TRANSCRIPT For those of you who are new here I am Shawna, I am a mom of three kids, they are 10, nine and going to be seven soon. I am a practical minimalist. So we have stuff in our house, but it's the stuff we like the best. I talk about intentional living, which means turning off that autopilot, and planning and doing things on purpose, to build the life you want on purpose. I also talk about simple living, which means managing our resources or time or space, or energy or money working on that one in ways that are in line with our values instead of trying to do all of the things do the important things, and you get to decide what's important. Today, I'm going to be answering some questions. So I often make myself a calendar of all the episodes I want to record over the next few months and share. And sometimes I look at a topic and I'm like I don't really feel like talking about. So this is one of those weeks, and I asked with a Facebook group, the simple on purpose community there. I call them the simple squad. I asked them for some topics that they would like to hear about, and they just had some really great topics that I thought I'm going to try and just answer them all in one episode. So I'm going to give my best nerdy girlfriend and life coach answer to these questions. And if at the end, you feel like you have more questions or thoughts or want more clarity, bring it over to the Facebook group. The first topic is to reflect on the seasons of life, and how sometimes you're not able to do certain things in certain times, I really like to consider my life as being a series of seasons, because that helps ease up the pressure of feeling like it's gonna be like this forever. I remember when I had my first baby, and I'm like, in my house code on the couch, and I thought, I'm just gonna live on my couch forever, I'm going to become my coach, the coach is going to swallow me, I'll be like another coach. This is my life now. So I really like to step back from all of that mental drama, and remind myself like, it's not gonna be like this forever. I think of some of the seasons I had have had in...

Expectation overwhelm is when you have a to-do list that is so long that it overwhelms you. This starts a defeating cycle of hustling, beating ourselves up for not doing 'enough', and not really feeling empowered to live a life of purpose.    Feeling productive and the beliefs we have about how we spend our time Coach women a lot on productivity and procrastination They feel like they can't get things done in the day They want to be better at getting things done.  And it is the same issue on both ends of the spectrum - they are about how we FEEL about how we spend our time.  Did we FEEL we were productive? did we FEEL they procrastinated? Remember our FEELINGS come from our thoughts. So the story we tell ourselves about how we have used our time is going to matter. It will change our experience of how we use our time.    What is expectation overwhelm? Expectation overwhelm is when we have such a long 'should do' list that it constantly overwhelms us. We walk around thinking something is wrong with us that we can't tackle. We think we need more willpower and discipline.  We also get frustrated with everyone around us and might even blame them (check out the mom martyr episode)    Some signs that you might have expectation overwhelm: you find it hard to relax for a minute in your day you feel like everything is rushed you feel overwhelmed even though you generally get things done you check things off your list but still feel like it's never enough   What do we do with the overwhelm we feel? In my experience in coaching, and personal experience. WE do one of two things. We try harder or we tune it out. Both of these make us feel even worse about our skills and discipline. Both of these move us further away from the simple and purposeful life we are craving.    The options should be optional We make a mental 'should' do list with all the expectations we have ourselves in a day. But we tell ourselves this list is mandatory and then we tell ourselves we are inadequate for not fulfilling them all   We are meant to make choices This is something that minimalism has taught me. I don't have ROOM for all these things. I also don't have time and energy for all these things. I need to choose.  But making choices can be very intimidating for a lot of us. We think it means a long-term commitment. We also still secretly hold out for that secret we need to unlock our ability to do ALL THE THINGS!   Trade-in productivity for purpose I think most of us want to feel productive, but we live in a society that tells us we need to do DO IT ALL AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT.  I would argue that most of us do not want to be productivity robots - but that we actually want to slow down and live the life that we crave. We want to let go of never feeling like we are enough, and make more time and energy for the things that fill us up.    Know what you want in your life The Live your Vision worksheets The Live your Values worksheets The Life on Purpose Workbook    Get life coaching  If you want coaching support with letting go of expectations and getting focussed on what you DO want to make time and energy for, then sign up for a consult call to see if you are interested.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission.  SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK I will tell you it is about kiddie pools and water blasters, but it is about more than that. It is about tradition and having fun, and being a kid with your kids.  This is the XL doggie pool that we use as a kiddie pool   And these are the type of water blasters that we are loving in our home. Here is the grad shirt idea.      Make sure to join the Simple on Purpose Facebook community group to share your thoughts, questions, and ideas with the Simple Squad there.      FULL TRANSCRIPT Hey friends,

Do you struggle in your relationship to getting dressed each day? Do you feel guilty for it, or lack confidence in it?  Jaime McLaughlin is a hair and make-up artist who is helping moms take care of themselves without the mom guilt.  In this episode we talk about the internal shifts we can make, the judgments we might have of ourselves and other moms based on what they wear, busting myths around how much money and time it takes to get ready each day, and tips to build a capsule wardrobe   Using the ‘tool' of getting dressed every day Contesting the views that this is vanity vs a tool to help our personal motivation in our day Considering the areas of our life that we try to sacrifice on the altar of motherhood   Challenging our self-perception and the ‘rules' we give ourselves on what we wear or don't wear Making your outcome whatever you want it to be and working backward Aligning with your personal values as you work on getting ready each day   Reasons many stay at home moms have that we don't get ready each day I don't have the time I never leave the house I just don't do it, I don't get ready   Finding our value and worth as a stay at home mom Making a mental shift before we try to make an outward shift We don't just want to get dressed to ‘look good' but we want to FEEL good   Empowering one another to NOT use how we dress as a reason to judge ourselves and other moms There can be separations and assumptions we make on how moms dress, and we can categorize moms based on what they wear vs what we wear.  Considering the image we want to present to the world with what we wear Moving from judgment into curiosity about what other moms could be going through Watching where you might be judging moms who are a hot mess vs judging moms who are NOT a hot mess   Society tells us what a mom ‘should' look like Mom does not have to equal hot mess, crappy clothes, etc. We get to decide what it looks like to be ‘a mom' We don't need to be a victim to our days and motherhood Taking ownership of wearing what we WANT to wear and letting go of the myth that we are 'too much'   Letting go of the myth that in order to look good we need to spend a lot of money Fast fashion tells us that we need to spend all the money, every season, to have the trendy clothes of the season. Consider if fashion is something you value and want to spend money on and then making that happen It is important to have the perspective that the online influencers sharing 'style' we follow are not buying their own clothes but are given them by stores   Building a capsule wardrobe A capsule wardrobe is a great way to be mindful of the money we spend on clothes and 'how much' we need to have in our closet Starting with core pieces, knowing your colours, and building a wardrobe you can mix and match and put outfits together   Key points on being a mom who gets dressed every day When you wear what makes you feel good this shifts your mental state and motivation Getting dressed doesn't have to take long, or be expensive Learn the techniques to dress and don't worry so much about the trends There is NOTHING WRONG with saying 'I want to look good' When we spend the time and energy on ourselves we actually think about ourselves a lot less during the day   Links to Jaime and her resources UNFRUMP YOURSELF a free masterclass to take care of yourself each day without the mom guilt MACHOUSECO.COM the 7 Day Hair Care Routine The Unfiltered Motherhood Podcast   other links on style and getting dressed Practice getting dressed A recovering fashion wallflower The moms30for30 Tips for a capsule wardrobe      

When we think about being home with the kids for the summer there can be a lot to dread AND be excited about in this season.  I have found my way out of that mental overwhelm is to make a plan on what what I DO want my summer to be.  Over the years of planning our seasons as a family, we have developed an approach that helps us stay flexible, work around the hurdles and show up even on hard days.  I want to share the main points with you here.    This episode has a companion workbook that takes you step by step through planning out the summer that you and your family want to have.  Get your Summer on Purpose Workbook here.   Planning your days, as a mom I have found so much value in having a plan on what we will do. I started planning when I was home with my babies and have been loving the benefits ever since.  My kids even asked me to schedule their days for them during isolation, and I shared how that went here.    Why should a mom make a plan? To feel in control, rather than scramble for it last minute To make room for the important things to happen - balance - proactive To have some stability - for us and our kids - we know what is happening and what we need to expect and prepare for To take ownership - don't let summer just happen AT you To have FUN!  We want to ENJOY summer So often we hear the countdown of 'how many summers we have left with our kids'. And this can make us a little panicky inside. I want to approach summer with intention and abundance.    Declutter the mental overwhelm of summer Ask what you feel EXPECTED to do, by culture, society, Instagram Ask what feels hard about summer as a mom? I have a list: The mornings where they get stir crazy but I'm not ready to head out Feeding everyone healthy snacks Getting work done Sibling spats - those have broken my brain in the past The energy I tell myself I will need to give them activities and adventures How will I handle screentime I need to really brain dump all the things cluttering my brain and then address them point by point.    Planning out the summer you WANT to have Ask your family - what summer do you want to have? What activities do you want to do? What vibes/feelings do you want summer to have? Some years we were like road trips and camping Some we were like backyard BBQs and beaches Actually, we seem to rotate back and forth between the two Some other visions for a summer: Mocktails and gardening Books and suntans Fishing and hiking Popsicles, parks and kiddie pools Bike parks, bike paths and exploring Neighbourhood water fights Having a vision is so important. It lets you get clear on what you want so you can make the decisions that will get you there.    Making a family bucket list for summer We involve our kids in sharing their ideas on every season and holiday - we want to know what they hope for and see where it we can make it happen. You can also read more about our approach to family meetings right here.  Some of the things on our bucket list this year: Buy a pool Bubble wars Giant walk day Movie day Pajama day Beach day Candy day Taste test (one of their faves)               View this post on Instagram                         A post shared by Shawna | Life Coach for Moms (@simpleonpurpose.ca) Other family summer bucket list ideas: Backyard campout Back yard movie night Cabin stay  Kayaking or canoeing trip Waterslide day Camping trip Also see this post for a MEGA LIST of simple things to do with your kids, and get the free download to print off.      Setting daily routines for summer days I love rhythms of the week - listen to episode 28 to hear some of the ones we often have during the school year.  Keep it flexible by time blocking.

As moms who want to have hobbies and do things they love we get bogged down with notions that we have to monetize our hobby, or that we have to be exceptional at it. We almost use these as measurements to determine if this hobby is 'worth it' in the time, energy, and money it could involve.  I want to pitch the Joy of Being Mediocre and how it can unhook the hustle from the hobby and allow enjoyment to come into the hobby rather than expectation.  Full episode transcript is available at the end of this post   Monetizing hobbies We are living in an age where we are constantly consuming images, captions, and videos of people creating amazing things.  We are also connecting the dots that it is their industry as well Modern career advice tells us to follow our passions and turn our hobbies in jobs.  But there a flip-side to this industrialization of our hobbies:  our hobbies don't NEED to be monetized, and (gasp) we don't even need to be that great at them.    How we have lost touch with our passions and our hobbies Over the years we see a trend of learning that The Best being the ones who get the praise and we need to fade back into the shadows.  Then we pour ourselves into our jobs where we find 'success'.  Then we turn to hobbies to find some satisfaction in our lives - and we set ourselves up for frustration because we just want to be GREAT at it, NOW.  When we are great at it, then we tell ourselves it is 'worth it'   What is 'worth the effort' when it comes to pursuing hobbies as a mom? This is especially tricky for moms. What is 'worth it' as a mom who wants to spend time, money, and energy on her hobbies.  We measure 'worth it' by how WONDERFUL we are at it and how likely it is we could monetize it.    Letting go of the pressure to hustle our hobbies Enjoyment is available of pretty much anything when we give ourselves the freedom 'hobby without the hustle'.  When we let go of that hustle, we welcome in relaxed enjoyment.  Being mediocre is the cost of getting skilled at something, so we might as well enjoy it   Being a mom who 'tries things' that she is not 'good' at My kids have witnessed me, over the years, being very mediocre at various pursuits. And, most importantly, not being mad about it or deciding to quit trying new things.    Reasons why someone might be out of touch with their hobbies/interests/passions: They want to be good at it They need a lot of instruction on how it has to look so they can check the boxes that they are ‘doing it right' They don't feel confident to try They don't want to commit, out loud, cause then they might feel pressured to actually do it They aren't sure if it will be ‘worth it' - for whatever kind of outcome they are using to measure what make it ‘worth it' And they have lost touch with what would be interesting to them, they stopped listening to themselves and the weird and wonderful way they are made to experience their life   Ways to get in touch with what is interesting to you: What did you love to do as a kid? What do you always say you want to try? (what supplies have you bought over the years and never used them?) What looks interesting this season? What are you pinning on pinterest?   A side note about secretly hoping you can monetize your hobby If you have the secret motive that 'maybe I could monetize this' I encourage you not to sit on the fence and actually decide if you want to go ALL IN and build it a business - or if you want to let go of the motives and simply enjoy your hobby. In this episode, I share a bit more of how that looked for me when I decided to start a blog ten years ago and how I wrestled with it being a 'hobby' vs a business.    The Joy of Being Mediocre We are here for the PROCESS of doing/creating/sorting/digging/moving and EXPERIENCING   This isn't about escaping your life or seeking pleasure at the cost of your values but rather it is abou...

Do you wish you made time for the things you enjoy? Maybe you aren't sure what hobbies you would like, or you think you aren't 'creative enough' to have hobbies.  I have encouragement for the mom who feels guilty that she doesn't enjoy her time, but also feels guilty when she isn't 'productive enough'  Siobahn Johnes from the Unlocked Creative is sharing her insights and tips to help moms make more time for the things they love to do.      For the woman who says 'I'm just not 'creative'' What it means to be creative Where creativity comes from    How we are made to be creative and use our creativity in the world For the mom who says 'what do I even enjoy? how should I spend my 'creative time'?' Following the breadcrumbs and trying new things The hurdle to exploring the hobbies and routines that you will enjoy Steps you can take to learn what you enjoy in life For the woman who feels like 'creativity' is frivolous or childish Permission to enjoy something just because it is enjoyable Planning in time to be creative, open, and messy Having time to be creative in a way that doesn't need praise or validation  For the mom who feels like there is no time to do hobbies or be creative How to open up to the ways you can bring it into your daily life The thought 'there is not enough time' always shuts down our openness to finding how to make it work The scarcity mindset keeping you from taking action   Being open to how we determine the time, purpose, and the values we want to bring into our life Steps to find more time for the things you want to make the time for  time audit, looking for 'time sucks', finding the in-between times, delegating For the mom who wants ideas on hobbies Start with what is around you - what you have available Turning to your everyday surroundings for inspiration See some ideas on this For the mom who feels guilty when she's not 'productive' The inner critic that comes up when are playing rather than being productive Acknowledging the societal influences on how we view the value of our activities Looking for when we feel guilt, or lack of value when we aren't 'producing' Listening to the times you feel guilt or shame or unworthiness when you spend time on a creative outlet Modelling creativity and hobbies and doing things we enjoy for our kids Putting guilt outside the door so creativity can come in Feeling guilty for creativity AND feeling guilty you aren't spending your time in ways that you enjoy   To find Siobahn Jones head over to the Unlocked Creative Podcast, and find her on Instagram Find my episode on Siobahn's show where we talk about exhaustion, simplifying, prioritizing, and purpose in creativity.  

This is not the house I would have chosen to be my forever home, but over the years I have come to terms with us staying here - but how to reconcile with the dissatisfaction of this home not being exactly what I want.    Acknowledging our home dissatisfaction Recognizing that deep desire to create a space that FEELS like home Addressing the longing we have to change our homes How we handle our dissatisfaction   Working with a partner to build a home together Having different ideas on what a home should be Looking for the ways we both want to create a great place  Owning where we think the grass is greener   Are we entitled when it comes to having an upgraded/ideal home? Addressing the concept of what is 'normal' for how our homes should look Getting overwhelmed to just 'get there already' Asking about what we want, why we want it  Can we consider the costs of having this 'ideal' home   Appreciating the home you have The one question that helped me see the resent I was looking at my home with  Looking at my space with appreciation over the days/weeks/months and the things that I have put on my list that I didn't expect Old decks, small closets, dated kitchens, lack of storage cul-de-sacs   Why do we want to change our home? We think when our home is 'ideal' then we can feel different Seeing how you don't have to wait for the perfect home in order to feel that Getting stuck in the either/or mentality   Stop waiting for the perfect home  Your home should be a place that reflects YOU and is a space you love to be and nobody else will do this work for you  Do the work of removing what you don't want in your home and letting the things you love shine and be used Know what you LOVE and focus on those things more than the latest trends Make a point to USE your space for the way you want your home to be used (gather, create, make, relax) Creating spaces you use and enjoy   Loving your home and wishing it were different This is not an either/or situation,  hold space for both of these   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you.    Mentioned: Love The House Your Are In by Page Rein No Demo Reno on HGTV Table Topics Question cards to start dinner conversation  How to Hygge When You Are a Busy Mom (Episode 75) Join the Facebook Simple on Purpose Community Be the mom you are (blog post)     Simple Pleasure of the week: Warm blankets out of the dryer.    Full transcript   Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend life coach from simple and purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. For those of you who are new welcome. I am Shawna, I am a mom of three kids. I'm a trained life coach, a retired health inspector and your nerdy girlfriend, I am here to talk to you each week about the things that we moms we women face in our lives. And how do we approach the different aspects of our lives by first reducing all of the distractions, the noise, whether it's in the form of busyness, comparison clutter, so we want to simplify these areas of our life. And we want to get clear on what we want here, how to be purposeful and intentional in each of the areas of our life. So welcome to the podcast. For the past few episodes, we've been talking about emotional intelligence. So I wanted to bring in another topic and change it up. And what I love to do is talk to you guys about something that I talk with my girlfriends on. And this is a conversation I've had over the years, with my girlfriends, the topic of loving your home, how do you feel about your home? Do you wish it were different? I recently was looking through some old notebooks I haven't I came across a couple lists I had made about what I love about my home. And what I don't love about my home,

This is the LIVE recording from a Facebook Live held earlier today in the Simple on Purpose Community group I am answering FAQs and addressing the myths we might have about emotional intelligence and emotion coaching our kids.  I have been emotion coaching my kids for years now and I have noticed such a huge difference in my own relationship to my emotions and how I handle theirs and help them problem solve.  Here are some of the myths and FAQs on emotional intelligence that I am addressing: Why do emotions even matter?!  If I pay attention to their emotions, we can't have fun anymore cause we're busy working through upset emotions If I give them empathy, they will think their misbehaviour is ok I don't have time for more ‘parenting tool' in my life When they have done something wrong, they should be punished - no need for all this emotion stuff I was never raised to consider my emotions, and I turned out fine   If you want the tools, approach, and support to emotion coach yourself and your kids, then don't miss the limited time workshop Emotions, on Purpose The doors close tomorrow (TUESDAY, June 1st) - so if you are interested, sitting on the fence, then I hope you sign up today.

Health class may of taught us about anatomy, maybe our moms taught us about how to manage a period (but if you are like me, you just figured it out on your own reading the pamphlets in confusion and piecing together crumbs from Seventeen magazine). And then we start going through life, having babies, experiencing postpartum, living momlife and we realize that this whole 'WOMAN' thing is more than just knowing what products to use and how to use them. We learn that there is a whole-body wisdom that we need to develop around what our bodies are going through and how to support our bodies.    This is episode is for the woman who is wondering what more she can do to support her whole body with hormone health.   Today I am talking with Dana Irvine from Wise Divine Women Dana is a Canadian teacher, Clinical Thermographer, and podcaster - supporting women with hormone health and wellness.  Looking at life four-fold: mindy, body, soul, nutrition Thermography is an infrared study of the body looking at the heat patterns in the body, to spot inflammation and congestion.  Find Dana on Instagram, on her Podcast and on her website   Some basics of hormone health for women The 101 on hormone health - what are they and how do they impact our health. The main ones are estrogen, progesterone, cortisol, serotonin, melatonin How your digestion is related to your mental health   Paying attention to our cycles and supporting our hormones How our cycle affects our mood and energy through the month. Eating to support your hormones throughout your cycle (seed cycling) The myths we believe that periods should be hard and suck and paying attention to our periods and addressing issues earlier in life Paying attention to your bowels and getting enough fibre in your diet can help with hormone health How food sensitivities can impact your body inflammation and your hormone health   Self-care and detoxing to support hormone health Dana’s course Touch Your Tatas, teaches lymphatic drainage Being comfortable with our femininity, embracing your cycle and your body Some ways to practice self-care (dry brushing) Setting up reminders in your calendar to do regular breast exams, and lymphatic drainage for breast health   Being out of tune with our bodies Challenging our view on taking care of our personal health Taking care of our bodies and mental health now to set us up for health in our older years Advice from the other side of motherhood that the time is NOW to take care of our health and self-care   Recapping the main points of detox It isn’t just about drinking weird tea, it is also physical and nutritional. Also paying attention to your mind (stinking thinking), energy, boundaries, foods, emotional health, emotional stress in the body   Being in stress mode How we digest food when we are in stress mode (more info on this in episode 113 on stress and thriving) If you are doing all the ‘right things’ and eat great foods, exercise, maintain your home but you are stressed then these things are not as effective   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you.  The Red Tent   This is a book that really opened up my eyes to the value of female mentorship and sisterhood. It has prompted me to start approaching and building into relationships that bring elements of sisterhood into my life.      If you have liked this episode, I do hope you go share your thoughts in the closed Facebook group, the Simple on Purpose Community.   

As we talked a lot about emotional intelligence, I want to move over to the physical side of emotional awareness. So often we just ignore our bodies and treat them as something that slows us down - but I've learned through experience, health problems, and researching the SCIENCE that listening to our bodies is vital. It helps us have a better awareness of ways we need to respond, more emotional freedom and it brings us out of living on the surface of our thoughts and into the experience of our lives.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. What is your relationship to your body? Do you ignore it, do you mistreat it, do you appreciate it, do you have anger towards it? Many of us women experience a range of these sentiments over the decades.  I really realized how I resented my body when I learned I had an autoimmune disease called Graves Disease. You can read about that thyroid condition here, and you can read about my faith and healing journey here.    Ignoring our bodies is culturally acceptable We power through, we push ourselves, we ignore our bodies. It is culturally acceptable. But why? Is it fear of wallowing and worsening? Is it fear of admitting our weaknesses? Is it because we are moms and we don't need ONE MORE THING to fix?? We ignore our bodies through food, drink, keeping busy and then we hit a wall and think we aren't strong enough, or we are doing it all wrong.    Our bodies are WHERE we experience emotion Our bodies are where we FEEL our feelings. When we have a thought about something (often a subconscious and automatic judgment about if we are safe/in danger, good/bad, etc). When we have this thought our brain tells our bodies to release chemicals (peptides/hormones) to prompt us to respond accordingly.  So the emotions we feel from those chemicals flooding our bodies aren't actually to make life hard, but to indicate something is needed to address this situation.  Our bodies learn this thought-emotion response and then we call it a 'trigger'. It isn't just for BIG T trauma, our bodies remember how to respond from our past experiences.    We often ignore symptoms in our bodies up to the point they cause us problems If we don't address what our body is telling us - and we keep having the same thoughts and emotions on something - our body will keep telling us this. For instance, over the years I have noticed that stress makes me hold my breath and breathe shallowly. It makes me tense up my stomach and clench my teeth. But I learned this backward, from addressing the health outcomes of doing these things repeatedly over time.    What about the science of mind and body? I have read Heal Your Body by Louise Hay and it is a fascinating read as she connects ailments to emotional conflicts. I have started to view symptoms in a similar way because, as I have paid attention, I have seen connections to my own emotions and physical experience.  But I am interested most in the science. Some great books on this are the Molecules of Emotion by Dr. Candace Pert and Cure by Jo Marchant. Some popular names for this field are 'mindbody medicine and 'psychoneuroimmunology'. If you feel like this is a stretch - just think about the fascination of placebos - where our brain believes something and the body responds in accordance. And now they are researching nocebos - where, when a patient predicts a negative outcome their symptoms worsen from the placebo.    Answering your questions about:  Noticing the signs of stress (dig deeper with episode 113 on stress, surviving and thriving) Using visualization to improve your health outcomes, particularly where you have experienced an eating disorder and worry you won't be healthy in the future (dig deeper with episode 37 on the science of visualization)   The simple pleasure of the week

I have had some great questions on how to teach our kids emotional intelligence - and I will answer them in this episode. I will also run through the 5 steps I use (and learned from John Gottman) on how to walk our kids through their emotions and misbehaviours - also called emotion coaching.    This episode follows up on 119, about tolerating the emotions in ourselves and in our kids.  The 5 steps to teaching our kids emotional intelligence, as I have learned through the work of John Gottman (my summary of his book is right here)  1. Awareness It takes time and practice to observe how our kids might be feeling. Each of our kids will act a little differently depending on how they are feeling. Boredom looks different in each of our kids.  Emotional awareness is the foundation for understanding what is happening for us internally - because all of this will have an external result in our lives.    2. Emotions are a chance for connection This feels really tough at the moment when our kids are pouting or blaming or having an emotion that is tough for us as moms to tolerate.  I see these times as a situation where my kid has a GAP in their skills and they need to know I'm here to walk them through it.  It is important to consider that our kids are at different skills and needs depending on their age.  How I use bedtime as the time of time day to connect with my kids on their emotions.    3. Label the emotions Awareness of a specific emotion is important because it helps us narrow down the thoughts and situations that are causing it. Even the moms I coach are a bit unaware of what emotion they could be feeling. This can be done with a 'check-in' in lots of fun and easy ways. This is a great habit to teach your kids in becoming more emotionally aware.  There is a science behind the process of labelling our emotions - affect labelling and 'name it to tame it'.   4. Empathy I think empathy can transform your parent-child relationship, episode 84 We think that empathy might coddle or kids or keep them wallowing in it - but it is the opposite. It helps them feel seen, helps them allow the emotion in order to move through it.  Empathy is not a form of reward or punishment and it does not excuse misbehaviour.  A very sweet TedTalk to have empathy in listening to our kids.    5. Set limits and problem solve This is often where we START to deal with the issue. But all the other 4 steps can make this job so much easier for our kids and for us as moms.  It means we address HOW the situation was handled, what happened from the feelings our kids had.  Remember: You don't have to deal with it in the moment, come back to it when you are no longer in a stress response and when they are no longer in a stress response (because stress highjacks our intentions, episode 113) This can be a conversation you bring your kid into problem-solving. It helps teach them the skills of solving their own problems   Answering the questions that were sent to me on teaching kids emotional intelligence.  When you as a parent are practicing EI and you ignore/don’t acknowledge bad behaviour for the purpose of disengaging or de-escalating a situation, can that be perceived by your child as approval to act that way? How can you acknowledge negative feelings without reinforcing a negative mindset? Like if your child is complaining about something how do you validate their feelings of disappointment/etc without encouraging more complaining and negativity? How do you empathize authentically when you really don’t care that “the pink spoon is dirty”?   Getting more support on being an emotionally intelligent mom teaching her kids emotional intelligence I will be teaching a workshop for moms on June 3rd 2021. Make sure you are on the Simple Saturdays email to get notification on that.  PS. Simple Saturdays isn't like other email! It is FUN email - it comes out twice a month and has...