Start with Small Steps

235 - Forgiveness Is Freedom In this episode, the focus is on the profound and often misunderstood act of forgiveness. Exploring the concept through personal stories and insights from the book Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall, the discussion centers on why forgiveness is not about excusing harmful behavior or forgetting the pain, but about releasing ourselves from the grip of bitterness and resentment. This episode offers a heartfelt, honest reflection on what it really means to forgive—and how doing so can bring true freedom and healing. Top Topics: What Forgiveness Really MeansForgiveness is not about saying “it's okay” or brushing past serious hurt. It's about choosing to stop desiring revenge and instead letting go of the emotional control the past has over us. The episode defines forgiveness as no longer wanting punishment for the offender, but rather handing over justice to a higher power or moral compass. The Pain Behind the Need to ForgiveA personal backdrop of childhood neglect and family addiction reveals how deep-seated pain can evolve into lasting resentment. Understanding the origins of this pain, including the generational patterns and addictive behaviors involved, provides important context for why forgiveness is essential—not for the offender, but for personal healing. Steps Toward True ForgivenessListeners are guided through practical steps to begin forgiving: acknowledging the pain, making a conscious decision to forgive, refraining from rehearsing the hurt, and even praying or wishing good for the person who caused harm. These steps are presented not as quick fixes, but as meaningful choices that open the door to lasting emotional freedom. Forgiving Without ReconciliationAn important clarification is made: forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. Sometimes, it's healthier and safer not to reestablish a relationship. Forgiveness is about finding peace within oneself, regardless of the other person's actions or attitude. Dealing with Disappointment in GodThe episode also touches on the spiritual challenge of feeling let down by God in times of suffering. By choosing to forgive even this divine disappointment, deeper trust and healing are possible. Takeaways: Forgiveness is ultimately a gift to oneself. Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison meant for someone else. It harms the one who carries it more than anyone else. Letting go is not easy, and it may feel unnatural at first—but it leads to emotional clarity, freedom, and peace. Forgiveness is not weakness; it's one of the bravest things a person can do. Whether the offender ever apologizes or changes, the choice to forgive allows the heart to move forward and begin to heal. Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

234 - The Secret to Lasting Change: It's Not Willpower! In this episode, I talk about the real reasons we struggle with making progress on our goals — and how to fix it. Inspired by the powerful metaphors from “The Happiness Hypothesis” and “Switch,” I explore how the mind is like a rational Rider trying to steer an emotional Elephant along a winding Path. When we learn how to motivate our Elephant, direct our Rider, and clear the Path, meaningful change becomes not only possible but enjoyable. Understanding the Rider and ElephantWe often think our failure to follow through is due to laziness, but it's more about a conflict between emotion and logic. I explain how the Elephant (our emotions) tends to resist change while the Rider (our planner) gets stuck in overthinking. Motivating the Emotional SideFear doesn't move the Elephant — hope and small wins do. I share how reframing goals and celebrating tiny milestones can energize you to keep going. It's about making the process exciting and worthwhile. Giving the Rider DirectionToo many options lead to paralysis. I talk about choice architecture — creating pre-decisions that make action simpler, like scheduled workouts or limited food choices. When the Rider has a clear map, it stops stalling. Making the Path EasyWe need an environment that supports our goals. That means setting out gym clothes, automating finances, or prepping for quick getaways. These routines eliminate friction and help us act automatically. Visualizing the FutureOne of my favorite tools: the “postcard from the future.” I use AI to generate vivid images of my goals realized, which I keep visible in my space. They remind me why I'm doing the hard things. Rallying the HerdSupport is crucial. If friends and family aren't on board, online groups can be life-changing. When we surround ourselves with others chasing similar goals, their momentum lifts us up too. Takeaways:You don't need more discipline. You need a better system — one that motivates your emotions, guides your plans, and clears your path. Every step forward starts with understanding how your mind works and building an environment that makes change easier. It's not about giant leaps. It's about small, consistent wins that make you feel capable and confident. Keep your eye on the vision, celebrate each win, and know that you've got this. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/234-the-secret-to-lasting-change-its-not-willpower/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

233 - Tests to Understand What Makes Us Tick Understanding personal motivation and behavior is one of the most powerful tools for self-improvement. This episode explores how personality tests can offer practical insight into how people work, what energizes them, and why certain strategies succeed where others fail. It's not about putting people into boxes—it's about using patterns and traits as clues to navigate life more effectively. Top Topics: Recognizing Behavioral PatternsEveryone has habits and responses that repeat, often without noticing. Personality assessments help bring those patterns into focus. By observing what consistently works—and what doesn't—it's possible to better understand tendencies, motivations, and blind spots. That kind of clarity opens the door to intentional, sustainable change. How Myers-Briggs Transforms RelationshipsOne of the most widely known assessments, Myers-Briggs can offer insights into how people process information, make decisions, and interact with others. Learning to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses in different personality types leads to deeper understanding and stronger connections, especially in friendships and partnerships with contrasting traits. The Four Tendencies: Motivation in FocusDeveloped by Gretchen Rubin, the Four Tendencies framework identifies how people respond to expectations—both external and internal. Recognizing whether someone is an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel makes it easier to build effective habits and avoid frustration. For many, it's the missing piece in understanding why traditional advice doesn't always work. StrengthsFinder and the Value of Self-Knowledge at WorkStrengthsFinder identifies what people naturally do best. Knowing whether someone thrives in problem-solving, communication, learning, or leadership roles allows for smarter career decisions and more effective teamwork. It shifts the focus from fixing weaknesses to building on existing strengths. Exploring the Landscape of Personality ToolsBeyond the big names, several other tools—such as the Big Five, Enneagram, DISC, and Hogan assessments—offer additional layers of insight. Each test highlights different aspects of personality, from emotional stability to core values and work preferences. Understanding how these assessments differ helps in selecting the right tool for personal or professional growth. Takeaways: Personality tests are more than entertaining quizzes—they can be transformative frameworks for self-awareness. Knowing how someone responds to pressure, what drives their behavior, and where they naturally excel provides a roadmap for making better decisions, reducing friction in relationships, and achieving goals more effectively. Rather than guessing or mimicking someone else's approach, these insights allow for tailored strategies that align with how a person actually operates. When people understand what makes them tick, they can stop fighting their nature and start building lives that truly fit. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/what-makes-us-tick-using-personality-tests-to-understand/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

232 - Owning Your Weak Spots This episode unpacks a powerful but often overlooked concept: the value of understanding personal weaknesses. While much is said about knowing and building on strengths, there's equal—if not greater—wisdom in recognizing the areas where performance or comfort naturally dips. This conversation explores how that self-knowledge can protect against missteps, accelerate growth, strengthen relationships, and create guardrails for personal and professional life. 1. The Danger of Ignoring WeaknessesAvoiding weaknesses doesn't eliminate them. Instead, they lurk in the background, ready to sabotage progress. Identifying them allows for awareness and intentional choices. 2. Patterns That Reveal TruthBehavioral patterns—like procrastination or avoidance—often reveal underlying weaknesses. These patterns can be clues to areas that need reflection and potential growth. 3. Growth through Targeted ActionOnce weaknesses are acknowledged, it becomes possible to improve with focus. Whether it's through systems, education, or tools, targeting a weakness leads to faster, more sustainable progress. 4. Healthy Collaboration and BoundariesHonesty about limitations fosters trust. Asking for help, seeking feedback, or teaming up with complementary strengths builds strong working and personal relationships. 5. Knowing What to Fix—and What to DropNot all weaknesses need to be “fixed.” Some can be left alone if they don't significantly impact life or work. It's about knowing where energy is worth spending. Takeaways: Recognizing weaknesses doesn't mean failure—it opens the door to smarter decisions, better alignment, and sustainable productivity. Whether it's choosing roles that align with strengths or avoiding burnout by declining the wrong fit, this kind of self-awareness is invaluable. Emotional honesty, strategic support, and thoughtful reflection can transform weaknesses from hidden liabilities into manageable realities. The goal isn't perfection—it's clarity, confidence, and growth on your own terms. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/232-owning-your-weak-spots/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

231 - From Struggle to Strength In this episode of Start With Small Steps, I share the deeply personal and transformative journey of understanding and owning my strengths. From childhood frustrations with writing to discovering a passion for math and science, I talk about how recognizing what you're naturally good at can shape your entire path forward. The Power of Knowing Your Strengths:Growing up, I learned the hard way that forcing yourself to be good at everything leads to frustration. Once I accepted that writing wasn't my strength and that I lit up around science and math, my entire academic and career trajectory improved. Knowing your strengths isn't about limitation—it's about focus. Interest vs. Ability:I talk about how true success comes when interest meets ability. You might love a hobby, but if it doesn't match your strengths, it can drain rather than energize you. I explain how to distinguish between fleeting passions and lasting competencies. Feedback and Assessment Tools:Friends and coworkers revealed strengths I didn't even know I had. Tools like the Clifton Strengths Finder and High Five Test added unexpected insight. These moments of reflection helped me reframe how I see myself. When Imitation Backfires:I share the story of how I tried to mimic a successful coworker to get promoted. The turning point came during a work trip where she told me she could never do what I had just done. That moment helped me realize the importance of being the best version of me, not someone else. Takeaways:Recognizing your strengths brings clarity, energy, and direction. Use feedback and assessments to identify your unique talents. Don't waste time chasing someone else's strengths—grow what's already within you. Build your life around the things that feel effortless, exciting, and empowering. Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

230 - Say Yes to Yourself n this episode, the focus is on one of the most pivotal mindset shifts anyone can make: saying yes to opportunity, beginning with the internal yes. It's not just about being open to change—it's about understanding how to negotiate with ourselves, assess our limits, and move forward with clarity and confidence. Sometimes, the biggest changes start with the smallest steps. Whether it's saying yes to something you're unsure about or redefining what a yes looks like, this discussion offers real, personal insights into how a thoughtful commitment can lead to lifelong passion, purpose, and transformation. Saying Yes Starts WithinEvery new opportunity begins with a decision. But the hardest person to convince is often ourselves. This episode explores how internal resistance can block growth—and how saying yes internally is a vital first step toward real change. Understanding the Inner BATNAUsing negotiation theory, the concept of the “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement” is applied inwardly. Instead of giving a full yes or a full no, it's possible to shape a commitment that feels right for where we are now. Examples show how to create flexible agreements with ourselves to avoid burnout while still moving forward. The Worst-Case Scenario (WATNA)What's the actual cost of saying no? Sometimes it's not failure—it's missing out. There's a thoughtful look at how evaluating the worst realistic outcome (instead of imagined fears) can help in decision-making, particularly when opportunities feel risky or unclear. The Five Whys and Finding the Real MotivationPeeling back the layers with the “Five Whys” technique leads to the real motivation behind our desires. Whether it's career, health, or creative pursuits, getting to the root “why” makes it easier to say yes with conviction. Growth Through StretchingGrowth doesn't come from staying in a comfort zone. Saying yes often means learning something new, stumbling a bit, and adjusting along the way. These stretch moments—while uncomfortable—create the capacity for greater confidence and fulfillment.

229 - How We Learn Matters More Than What We Learn Learning is more than taking in information—it's about transformation. The way learning is approached often determines how deeply it takes root and impacts daily life. This episode explores why being intentional about the learning process makes all the difference. From methods like teaching, project-based work, and reflecting through struggle, to considering how technology like AI fits into the process, this discussion offers a roadmap to learning that leads to growth, resilience, and even joy. Passive vs. Active Learning:Absorbing content without focus—reading while distracted or listening without engagement—leads to shallow understanding. In contrast, active learning, where there's intention, reflection, and application, creates change. Engaging deeply with a subject by asking questions, taking notes, or testing understanding results in better retention and real-life utility. Teaching to Reinforce Knowledge:One of the most effective ways to learn is to teach. When explaining a concept to others, it becomes necessary to understand it fully. Teaching sharpens thinking, exposes gaps in knowledge, and forces organization of ideas. The process of preparing to teach something naturally deepens personal mastery. Learning Through Projects:Doing something hands-on turns theory into practice. Projects—whether automating a smart home system, organizing with software, or crafting a creative piece—reveal the nuances of a skill. Starting with small, achievable tasks and expanding from there helps build confidence while naturally progressing into more complex areas. The Role of Struggle in Learning:Discomfort is not a sign of failure—it's the place where growth happens. When a concept feels difficult or frustrating, it's often the moment just before a breakthrough. Seeking out challenges, revisiting hard material, and wrestling with ideas help integrate knowledge on a deeper level. Struggle builds both competence and character. Learning Styles and Personalization:Recognizing how information is best absorbed—visually, audibly, or kinesthetically—can change the learning experience entirely. Tailoring materials and methods to fit natural preferences makes learning smoother and more sustainable. It's not about finding the "right" tool, but the one that fits how the brain works best. Using AI to Enhance, Not Replace, Learning:AI can be a powerful tool for structuring learning paths, brainstorming ideas, and breaking down complex topics. It accelerates access to resources and helps clarify confusion. But it should serve as a guide, not a replacement for real thought. Over-reliance on AI can prevent the necessary struggle and reflection that makes learning stick. Unexpected Passions and Practical Payoffs:Sometimes, what begins as an obligation or neutral task becomes a passion. Exploring new skills can lead to unexpected joy, relationships, or career changes. Other times, learning something unpleasant helps avoid frustration later. Either way, engaging fully with a subject—even without passion—can lead to worthwhile outcomes. Takeaways:The quality of learning depends more on approach than on the content itself. Passive consumption won't create growth; active engagement will. Teaching others, doing real projects, embracing struggle, and understanding personal learning styles are all ways to turn ordinary learning into something life-changing. AI and other tools can support the journey but can't substitute the internal work required to truly learn. Even when something doesn't seem enjoyable at first, there's value in trying it anyway. Passion can grow unexpectedly, and sometimes the reward is not in the task itself, but in the freedom or skill it unlocks. Learning is not about information—it's about identity. Becoming a better learner builds confidence for tackling anything, from career changes to hobbies to everyday challenges. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/4090-2/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

228 - From Dreamer to Doer In today's episode, I'm getting real about the trap of being a procrastinator and overthinker. I share how I spent years stuck in analysis, planning, and learning — but not actually changing anything. And most importantly, I talk about how I broke out of that cycle through small daily actions. My Journey from Shelf-Help Scholar to Action Taker:I open up about my old habit of endlessly gathering advice without doing anything with it — and the moment I realized dreaming wasn't enough. My Favorite Action Strategies:I break down the simple techniques that helped me shift into action, like the Two-Minute Rule, habit stacking, friction reduction, and life scheduling. Finding My Why:I explain how connecting tasks to a bigger purpose (like my dream of hiking across Spain) kept me motivated even on the tough days. How I Use the Five Second Rule:I share how counting down from five helps me smash through hesitation and move toward my goals instantly. Takeaways:If you're feeling stuck, you're not broken — you just need to move. I learned that action, not thinking, is what builds a better life. Even if all you do today is take one small step, you're already winning. I hope you walk away from this episode with new energy, new hope, and a simple truth ringing in your ears: you already have everything you need to change your life. You just have to start. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/228-from-dreamer-to-doer/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

227 - Rebuild Real Trust Trust is one of the most powerful forces in human connection—and also one of the hardest to rebuild when it's been broken. In this episode, I explore what it means to trust again after growing up in an environment where trust didn't come easily. Through personal reflection and real-world observations, this conversation unpacks how trust is formed, how it's tested, and how to rebuild it one small step at a time. Understanding Early Lessons in TrustChildhood experiences have a lasting impact on how we relate to others. When people around us are unreliable, inconsistent, or hurtful, it's easy to adopt a mindset of self-reliance and emotional distance. That mindset can follow us into adulthood and shape every relationship we form. The Circle of Trust: Not Everyone Gets InNot all relationships require the same level of openness. There's value in having different levels of closeness with different people—from casual acquaintances to deeply trusted friends. Being intentional about who enters each level of that circle helps protect emotional well-being while still allowing meaningful connection. The Trust EquationCredibility, reliability, and intimacy all factor into how much someone can be trusted. But when someone is overly focused on themselves, it weakens that trust. This equation offers a useful framework to assess relationships more clearly and make thoughtful choices about who to invest in. Looks Can Be DeceivingCharm and appearance often fool people into thinking someone is more trustworthy than they really are. That "halo effect" can be dangerous, especially when it distracts from consistent, trustworthy behavior. Recognizing this pattern can prevent misplaced trust. Building Trust Over TimeTrust doesn't happen overnight. It's built through small actions repeated consistently—by noticing whether people do what they say, how they respond to conflict, and whether they show genuine care. True trust grows in layers, with each honest moment reinforcing the foundation. Takeaways:Trust is essential to living a full, connected life—but it's okay to start small. Real relationships aren't about perfection; they're about reliability, mutual respect, and emotional safety. Paying attention to patterns, being mindful of your own history with trust, and gradually opening up to the right people can lead to deeper, healthier connections. Everyone deserves relationships grounded in trust—and it's never too late to start building them. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/trust-or-distrusst/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

100 - Can a Christian Be Stoic? In this episode, I explore a question that has shaped much of my spiritual journey: can a Christian embrace Stoicism? I share how I discovered Stoicism at a young age and how its principles helped me build resilience during difficult times. Later, when I became a Christian, I had to ask whether those Stoic values still had a place in my life—and what I found was both challenging and enlightening. Virtue and Character in Both PathsBoth Stoicism and Christianity call us to a life of integrity—emphasizing values like courage, wisdom, justice, and self-control. I talk about how these overlapping principles shaped the way I approach daily life, relationships, and spiritual growth. Even though the motivations are different—Stoicism is about inner peace, Christianity is about serving God—the virtues themselves resonate in both. Emotions: Controlled or Embraced?One of the biggest contrasts is how emotions are treated. Stoicism promotes emotional restraint. Christianity invites emotional honesty. I reflect on the emotional lives of Jesus and biblical figures like David and Hannah, and what that says about God's design for our emotional nature. Suffering and ResilienceBoth philosophies prepare us to face hardship. I talk about how Stoicism taught me to endure, but Christianity taught me that suffering has a purpose. One builds strength through discipline; the other brings hope through surrender. Together, they have helped me become more resilient—not just tough, but spiritually anchored. Where Stoicism Can Fall ShortI also share moments where Stoicism made me overly self-reliant. Sometimes I default to solving problems instead of praying through them. That's where my faith checks me. Christianity invites me to lean on God, not just on grit and planning.

225 - Ancient Stoics Solve Modern Problems In this episode, I reflect on how discovering Stoicism as a young girl profoundly changed how I view the world. From the ancient teachings of Zeno and Epictetus to modern-day applications like mindful eating and emotional resilience, Stoicism offers practical wisdom for anyone navigating life's chaos. The Origins of Stoicism:I explore the fascinating story of Zeno of Citium, a shipwrecked merchant whose misfortune led him to philosophy. His teachings on virtue, nature, and practical ethics laid the foundation for a timeless way of living. Lessons from Epictetus:A former slave turned philosopher, Epictetus taught that true freedom lies in mastering your internal world. His views on control, endurance, and serenity still resonate today. Personal Stories of Applying Stoicism:I share how I used Stoicism to handle tough family dynamics, including confrontations with my father and grandmother. These stories show how “negative visualization” and calm resolve can transform even the hardest situations. Modern-Day Stoicism:From budgeting to dieting, I explain how I use Stoic principles in everyday life. Whether it's mindful eating or resisting emotional spending, these ancient tools still work. Virtues in Action:Stoicism isn't just about reading—it's about doing. I talk about how wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance guide my choices, and how practicing them intentionally can change your life. Takeaways:This episode is a reminder that life's hardships are inevitable, but our response is within our control. By practicing Stoicism, we gain the tools to live with purpose, resilience, and integrity. The virtues of courage and wisdom aren't just lofty ideals—they're daily habits we can build. Whether you're facing a tough boss, a diet, or emotional overwhelm, Stoicism gives you the mindset to endure and grow. Don't just read the philosophy—live it. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/225-ancient-stoics-solve-modern-problems/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

224 - Moderation In Everything In this episode, I talk about a life lesson that's stuck with me since childhood: the importance of moderation. From Greek philosophy to personal experiences with family and faith, I unpack how “all things in moderation” has become a guiding principle in how I view the world and navigate life's ups and downs. We look at why extremes are so prevalent in today's culture—and how finding the middle ground might be the key to more peace, better health, and healthier relationships. Greek Roots of ModerationI share how my love for mythology evolved into an interest in philosophy, especially the ancient Greek idea that virtue lies between two extremes. From bravery to self-control, the Greeks saw moderation not as weakness, but as wisdom. The Real-World Impact of ExtremesThrough stories about my own family, I reflect on how living in extremes—whether it's drinking, spending, or judging others—can lead to breakdowns in relationships and self-destruction. Moderation in Emotional and Spiritual LifeDrawing on Stoic philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, I explain how emotional balance is just as crucial. It's not about being emotionless, but being emotionally grounded. Finding the Middle in Modern LifeI touch on examples like food, exercise, and even how we treat others. It's not about giving up on enjoyment or discipline—it's about avoiding the burnout and blind spots that come with excess. Takeaways:The key message is simple but powerful: moderation leads to a more peaceful and effective life. We don't have to live in emotional chaos or rigid restraint. Whether it's how we eat, spend, love, or work, finding a balance helps us be more present and more authentic. This lesson shaped my path, and I hope it helps you think differently about how you approach the choices and rhythms in your own life. Try identifying one area where you might be going to an extreme, and explore what a more balanced path might look like. It's not about being perfect—it's about being intentional. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/224-moderation-in-everything/. Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

223 - Advice from Silly Places This episode explores how surprisingly profound life advice can be found in unexpected places—like cartoons, comic strips, movies, TV shows, music, and even bumper stickers. Drawing from a wide range of pop culture references, this episode reveals the timeless truths hidden in the most playful and unconventional sources. Cartoons with Character and WisdomClassic animated characters like Tweety Bird, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote aren't just entertaining—they offer insights about thinking ahead, handling frustration, and staying true to yourself. Even characters like Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd show what happens when anger goes unchecked, while Bugs Bunny reminds us that wit often wins over brute force. Philosophy Through Comics: Calvin and HobbesThis beloved comic strip is full of wisdom disguised as childhood curiosity. From grappling with fairness and creativity to reflecting on friendship, imagination, and life's meaning, Calvin and Hobbes present simple truths with emotional depth. Song Lyrics That Speak to the SoulFrom “Let It Be” to “I Can't Make You Love Me,” the lyrics of popular songs are filled with lessons about love, patience, heartbreak, and resilience. Whether uplifting or sobering, these messages hit home with their honest reflections on the human experience. Wise Words from Television and FilmIconic lines from shows and movies like Rocky, The Lion King, Parks and Rec, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Mandalorian, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer provide motivation, emotional strength, and perspective. Quotes like “Just keep swimming” or “Tomorrow is another day” remind listeners to push forward, appreciate the present, and keep hope alive. Takeaways:Life's best advice doesn't always come from books or lectures—it often comes from the unexpected corners of pop culture. Cartoons teach resilience and wit, comic strips bring philosophical insight, music speaks directly to the heart, and films show how to endure and grow. Whether it's inspiration from Rocky's determination, comfort in Dory's persistence, or humor in Homer Simpson's honesty, wisdom is all around. Sometimes, all it takes is listening closely to the world we already enjoy. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/223-advice-from-silly-places/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

223 - Advice from Silly Places This episode explores how surprisingly profound life advice can be found in unexpected places—like cartoons, comic strips, movies, TV shows, music, and even bumper stickers. Drawing from a wide range of pop culture references, this episode reveals the timeless truths hidden in the most playful and unconventional sources. Cartoons with Character and WisdomClassic animated characters like Tweety Bird, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote aren't just entertaining—they offer insights about thinking ahead, handling frustration, and staying true to yourself. Even characters like Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd show what happens when anger goes unchecked, while Bugs Bunny reminds us that wit often wins over brute force. Philosophy Through Comics: Calvin and HobbesThis beloved comic strip is full of wisdom disguised as childhood curiosity. From grappling with fairness and creativity to reflecting on friendship, imagination, and life's meaning, Calvin and Hobbes present simple truths with emotional depth. Song Lyrics That Speak to the SoulFrom “Let It Be” to “I Can't Make You Love Me,” the lyrics of popular songs are filled with lessons about love, patience, heartbreak, and resilience. Whether uplifting or sobering, these messages hit home with their honest reflections on the human experience. Wise Words from Television and FilmIconic lines from shows and movies like Rocky, The Lion King, Parks and Rec, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Mandalorian, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer provide motivation, emotional strength, and perspective. Quotes like “Just keep swimming” or “Tomorrow is another day” remind listeners to push forward, appreciate the present, and keep hope alive. Takeaways:Life's best advice doesn't always come from books or lectures—it often comes from the unexpected corners of pop culture. Cartoons teach resilience and wit, comic strips bring philosophical insight, music speaks directly to the heart, and films show how to endure and grow. Whether it's inspiration from Rocky's determination, comfort in Dory's persistence, or humor in Homer Simpson's honesty, wisdom is all around. Sometimes, all it takes is listening closely to the world we already enjoy. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/223-advice-from-silly-places/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

222 - The Two Buckets: A Simple Way to Solve Life's Problems Hi everyone, it's Jill from the North Woods! In this episode, I'm sharing one of the biggest life lessons I ever learned—the concept of putting problems into two buckets: things I can change and things I cannot. This idea, rooted in the Serenity Prayer, has helped me navigate everything from growing up with an alcoholic parent to financial struggles, career changes, and even weight loss. I'll take you through the history of this powerful mindset, from ancient Greek philosophers to modern problem-solving techniques, and share real-life examples of how shifting my focus has made all the difference. If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to tackle life's challenges, this episode is for you. The Serenity Prayer and How It Shaped My ThinkingI first learned the Serenity Prayer in my teens while attending Alateen, a support group for children of alcoholics. This simple yet profound message helped me reframe my struggles, allowing me to focus on what I could change instead of feeling powerless over what I couldn't. The Long History of This WisdomThe idea of separating problems into what's within our control and what isn't has been around for centuries. I share insights from historical figures like Epictetus, Solomon ibn Gabirol, and Shantideva, all of whom recognized the power of focusing on what we can control. Real-Life Applications of the Two Buckets Approach-Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent – I couldn't stop my dad from drinking, but I could create a full, active life outside of that challenge.-Politics & Global Issues – I can't change everything, but I can vote, volunteer, and contribute where I can.-Financial Stability & Retirement Worries – Social Security's future is uncertain, but I can prepare by saving more and making smart financial decisions.-Weight Loss & Health – I once thought my weight was out of my control until I found new solutions and the right support. Re-Evaluating What's in Your “Can't Change” BucketSometimes, we assume a problem is out of our hands when it's really not. I share examples of creative problem-solving—like how a simple change (adding mirrors) made people stop complaining about slow elevators. The key is to step back, get a new perspective, and challenge assumptions. Takeaways:✅ Put problems into two buckets: Can you change it or not?✅ Focus on action instead of worrying about things beyond your control.✅ Re-evaluate your buckets over time—something that seemed unchangeable might have a solution you haven't seen yet.✅ Seek outside advice when you feel stuck—sometimes an expert or a fresh perspective can make all the difference.✅ If something is in the "can change" bucket, take the first step today. This mindset shift has helped me reduce stress and solve problems more effectively, and I hope it helps you too. Now, I challenge you—think about a problem in your life right now. Which bucket does it belong in? Let me know what you think! Email me at Jill@startwithsmallsteps.com, comment on my channel, or share this episode with someone who might need it. Thanks for listening, and have a great week! https://startwithsmallsteps.com/the-two-buckets-a-simple-way-to-solve-lifes-problems/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

221 - Don't Let Anyone Push Your Buttons In this episode, I share one of the most powerful lessons I ever learned—from a book I discovered as a child. Wayne Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones completely changed how I saw emotions, reactions, and the way people try to manipulate us. This book helped me navigate a tough home life, stand up to bullies, and, most importantly, stop letting others control how I felt. I explore the emotional traps that keep people stuck—anger, worry, guilt, insecurity, and perfectionism—and how to break free from them. The biggest takeaway? No one can push your buttons unless you let them. Learning this truth gave me the confidence to take charge of my emotions, and in this episode, I'll share how you can do the same. The Book That Changed My PerspectiveI was a little kid in a chaotic home when I first saw Wayne Dyer on PBS talking about Your Erroneous Zones. Something about his message clicked. Even as a child, I realized that emotions weren't just things that happened to me—I had control over them. The Emotional Traps That Keep Us StuckDyer identifies five major thought patterns that hold us back: Anger – Letting frustration control you instead of responding calmly.Worry – Stressing over things that are outside your control.Guilt – Staying stuck in past mistakes instead of making amends and moving on.Insecurity – Constant self-doubt that keeps you from taking action.Perfectionism – Thinking you need to be 100% ready before you start something.I share how I struggled with these emotions and the small steps I took to overcome them. The Most Life-Changing Lesson: No One Can Push Your ButtonsThis was the biggest revelation: people only have power over you if you let them. I saw firsthand how my father emotionally manipulated my mother. But when I learned to control my reactions, he stopped targeting me. If someone is making you feel bad, it's because you're giving them permission to do so. How to Take Back Control of Your EmotionsIf you struggle with reacting emotionally to situations, try these strategies: -Pause Before Reacting – Take five seconds to ask, Is this worth my peace of mind?-Reframe the Situation – Most people's negativity is about them, not you.-Use Humor – Responding with a joke can take the power away from insults.-Practice Inner Silence – Sometimes, the best response is no response.-Find Compassion – Understanding why someone acts a certain way can help you detach. Takeaways:-Your emotions belong to you. No one else can make you feel something unless you allow them to.-Taking action is the antidote to fear. Perfectionism, insecurity, and doubt all shrink when you start moving forward.-When life squeezes you, what's inside of you comes out. If you don't like how you react under pressure, it's time to work on what's inside.-The more you control your emotions, the freer you become. People lose their ability to manipulate you when you stop reacting.]If you've ever felt like someone else has control over your emotions, it's time to take that power back. By shifting your mindset and making small changes, you can free yourself from anger, worry, guilt, and insecurity. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/221-take-control-of-your-emotions/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

220 - Stop Playing It Safe In this episode of Start with Small Steps, Jill from the North Woods shares a powerful lesson learned from playing chess with her father: the best way to improve is to challenge yourself against stronger opponents. This principle extends beyond the chessboard and applies to personal growth, career development, fitness, and creative pursuits. Jill explores how surrounding yourself with skilled people, finding the right level of challenge, and embracing discomfort can lead to transformation. She also discusses the role of AI as a learning tool and the importance of applying what you observe from others. The Power of Playing Against Stronger OpponentsJill's father never let her win at chess, and this tough love approach taught her to embrace challenges rather than seek easy victories. Whether in work, hobbies, or personal goals, true growth comes from learning from those who are ahead of us. The Right Level of Challenge for ImprovementGrowth requires finding the right balance—not too easy, not too difficult. Jill explains how to assess what level of challenge will push you forward without overwhelming you, whether it's in writing, public speaking, or fitness. Using AI as a Learning Tool (Not a Replacement)Jill shares how she uses AI to refine her writing rather than replace it. She discusses the importance of maintaining personal effort while leveraging AI for insights and efficiency. Learning from "Secret Mentors"Sometimes, the best mentors aren't the ones we formally ask for help, but those we quietly observe. Jill explains how watching skilled colleagues and analyzing their methods has helped her improve in various areas of life. The Importance of Embracing DiscomfortIf something feels uncomfortable—whether it's public speaking, learning a new skill, or pushing past fitness limits—it's often a sign of growth. Jill encourages listeners to lean into discomfort as a necessary step toward mastery. Applying What You LearnIt's not enough to listen, read, or watch others—you must put what you learn into action. Jill provides practical steps for tracking progress and continuously improving through observation, reflection, and practice. Takeaways✅ Challenge yourself by learning from those ahead of you. Staying in your comfort zone won't lead to growth. Seek out opportunities to be around people who push you to be better. ✅ Find the right level of difficulty. Growth happens in stages—too easy, and you won't progress; too hard, and you may give up. Identify challenges that stretch but don't break you. ✅ Leverage AI and technology as tools for improvement. AI can help refine your skills, but real learning comes from effort and practice. ✅ Observe and learn from successful people. Whether it's a mentor, coworker, or expert in your field, analyze their techniques and apply them to your own journey. ✅ Embrace discomfort as a sign of progress. If something feels difficult, that means you're learning. Stay persistent and celebrate small wins along the way. ✅ Take action. Don't just consume information—apply it. Growth only happens when you put knowledge into practice. Challenge for YouThis week, put yourself in a situation where you are the least experienced person in the room. Whether in a meeting, a class, or a fitness session, find someone who is better than you and learn from them. Write down what you observe, practice what you learn, and reflect on your progress. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/220-stop-playing-it-safe/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

219 - No Choice Is A Choice Have you ever avoided making a decision, hoping things would just work themselves out, only to realize later that doing nothing made everything worse? I know I have, and in this episode, I'm talking about how no decision is still a decision—just not one you control. I share personal stories about how my own indecision has impacted my career, relationships, and health, sometimes in ways I deeply regret. I also talk about the hidden cost of avoiding choices and why small, intentional steps can put you back in control of your life. For a long time, I thought that if I didn't make a choice, I was keeping my options open. But I've learned that when I fail to act, life steps in and makes the choice for me—and it's rarely the one I would have wanted. When I graduated college, I couldn't decide what path to take, and instead of making an intentional choice, I drifted into a job out of necessity. Years later, I realized I had closed doors to other opportunities simply because I hadn't been proactive. The same thing happened in my health. I spent years trying and failing to lose weight, pushing off real action because I wasn't sure what would work. Eventually, my health suffered, and I was forced to take action, but by then, I had fewer choices available to me. One of the hardest lessons I've learned is that inaction has real consequences. Not deciding doesn't protect you from failure; it often makes things worse. When I ignored problems with my house, I ended up with water damage that could have been avoided. When I stayed in a comfortable but stagnant job, I watched my retirement savings fall behind. It's easy to think we'll have more time later, but time moves fast, and before we know it, years have passed without progress. I also understand why people avoid making choices, because I've done it too. Sometimes we're afraid of picking the wrong option, so we convince ourselves that waiting is better. Other times, we don't want to take responsibility in case things go wrong. And then there's the belief that we have all the time in the world, but that's an illusion. The truth is, the longer we wait, the fewer options we have. TakeawaysWhat I've learned is that even a bad decision is often better than no decision at all. When I finally started taking control of my career, my health, and my finances, things didn't change overnight, but they started moving in the right direction. The key is to stop waiting for the perfect moment and just take one small step. If you're stuck in a job you don't like, start by updating your resume. If your health is suffering, make one simple change today. If a relationship isn't working, have that hard conversation. I challenge you to think about one area of your life where you feel stuck. What's one small action you can take today? It doesn't have to be huge—just something to move you forward. I'd love to hear from you about the choices you're facing. You can email me at jillatstartwithsmallsteps.com or leave a comment on YouTube. Remember, doing nothing is still a choice—so why not choose to take control? https://startwithsmallsteps.com/219-no-choice-is-a-choice/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

218 - Solve the Right Problem In today's episode, I'm sharing something that completely changed my life—learning to solve the right problem. For years, I kept hitting the same roadblocks, whether it was with my weight, finances, or personal goals. No matter how much effort I put in, nothing seemed to work. And then I realized—I was solving the wrong problem. Instead of focusing on what really needed fixing, I was throwing solutions at the wrong issues. Buying gym equipment didn't solve my weight loss struggles. Cutting back on small purchases didn't fix my income problem. It wasn't until I stepped back, got clear on what the real issues were, and tackled them head-on that I finally started making progress. If you've ever felt stuck—trying everything but never seeing results—this episode is for you. I'll walk you through practical steps to help you figure out what's really holding you back and how to finally move forward. 1. The Trap of Solving the Wrong ProblemI share my personal experience of spinning my wheels for years, fixing surface-level issues instead of the actual root cause. I use the example of fixing the brakes on a broken-down car when the real issue is the engine—no matter what you do, you won't get anywhere. 2. Defining Your Problem ClearlyOne of the biggest mistakes people make is setting vague goals like “I want to lose weight” or “I need to save money.” That's too broad! I talk about how breaking problems down into specific, actionable pieces leads to real solutions. 3. Using the Five Whys to Get to the Root CauseEver feel like you're treating symptoms instead of the real issue? I explain how asking why five times can reveal what's actually stopping you from making progress. This method helped me understand that my struggles with exercise weren't about needing gym equipment—they were about my habits and motivation. 4. Identifying Patterns That Keep You StuckI used to think my financial struggles were because of big expenses, but when I started tracking my spending, I realized it was small, recurring purchases that were draining my bank account. I talk about how identifying patterns—rather than focusing on one-time mistakes—can help you see what's really going wrong. 5. Focusing on What You Can ControlI can't control my genetics or my past financial mistakes, but I can control what I eat, how often I move, and how I budget my money. In this section, I help you shift your focus toward the things you actually can change. 6. Testing Small Before Going All InBefore making a big commitment, test a small version first! I share why I should have tried a short-term gym membership before buying expensive equipment. The same logic applies to career changes—if you want to start a business, try freelancing first instead of quitting your job overnight. 7. Tracking Data Instead of Relying on FeelingsI used to think I barely spent any money, but my spending journal told a different story. I also thought I wasn't overeating—until I started tracking my food. I explain how keeping a journal or log can reveal the truth behind your habits. 8. Imagining Future ConsequencesOne of the most powerful exercises I use is asking myself, What happens if I don't solve this problem? If I don't start exercising now, will I still be able to hike and travel when I retire? If I don't fix my finances, will I have enough to live on later? Thinking about my future self has helped me prioritize the most important changes. 9. Learning from People Who Have Been ThereI didn't figure all of this out on my own—I learned from others. Whether it's books, podcasts, or mentors, I talk about how studying people who have solved similar problems can help you fast-track your progress. Key Takeaways:✔️ Define the real problem – Get specific instead of setting vague goals.✔️ Use the Five Whys – Dig deep to find the root cause of your struggles.✔️ Look at patterns, not just one-time mistakes – Track your habits to see what's really happening.✔️ Focus on what you can control – Stop wasting energy on things outside your influence.✔️ Test before committing – Small experiments can prevent big regrets.✔️ Track data, not feelings – Journaling helps you make smarter decisions.✔️ Think about your future self – Will you regret not fixing this later?✔️ Learn from others – Find mentors, books, or resources that can guide you.✔️ Start small, but start today – You don't have to fix everything at once. Just take the first step. Final Thoughts:If you're feeling stuck, I want you to ask yourself: Am I solving the right problem? Once I started focusing on the real obstacles in my life, everything changed. My weight loss journey became more effective, my finances improved, and I stopped wasting time on things that didn't matter. I hope this episode helps you start thinking differently about the challenges in your life. If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend who might need it! https://startwithsmallsteps.com/218-solve-the-right-problem-how-to-break-free-from-repeated-failures/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

217 - We're All Walking Contradictions Hey everyone, it's Jill from the Northwoods! In this episode, I'm sharing one of the biggest lessons I've learned in life: every strength has a weakness, and every weakness has a hidden strength. Understanding this has helped me navigate relationships, improve my leadership skills, and find more balance in my life. I'll take you through personal stories—like how my ability to build strong teams made me a great leader but held me back in tough negotiations. I'll also break down common traits like confidence, empathy, ambition, and adaptability, showing how they can either work for us or against us. And, of course, I'll share practical strategies for self-awareness, personal growth, and embracing our full selves. 1. We're All a Coin – Strengths and Weaknesses Are ConnectedI've learned that no trait is entirely good or bad—it all depends on context. Confidence can turn into arrogance, perfectionism can cause procrastination, and empathy can lead to emotional exhaustion. Recognizing this has helped me approach life with more balance and understanding. 2. The Hidden Cost of Leaning Too Hard on StrengthsI share a personal experience from my tech career where my leadership style worked well—until I had to handle tough contract negotiations. I was great at team-building but struggled with standing my ground in business. Learning to reframe my perspective helped me find a way to grow in an area that didn't come naturally to me. 3. Finding Balance in Our Strengths and WeaknessesWe all tend to overuse certain traits, but self-awareness can help us adjust. I'll share some of my favorite strategies, like journaling, seeking feedback, and partnering with people who complement our weaknesses. 4. Giving Grace to Ourselves and OthersIt's easy to get frustrated with people who think differently than we do. But when I started seeing people as complex individuals—with both strengths and flaws—it changed how I approached relationships. I'll share how we can extend more understanding and patience to ourselves and those around us. 5. Practical Steps for GrowthIdentify patterns in your own behavior – What strength do you overuse? Where do you struggle?-Seek feedback – Ask people you trust to help you see your blind spots.-Train the opposite skill – If you're overly cautious, practice small risks. If you're a perfectionist, challenge yourself to start before you feel “ready.”-Surround yourself with people who balance you out – A team or friendship built on complementary strengths is powerful. Takeaways-We all have strengths and weaknesses, and they are often two sides of the same coin.-Self-awareness is the first step to growth—journaling, reflection, and feedback help us adjust.-Context matters—sometimes a strength can be a liability if used in the wrong way.-Giving grace to ourselves and others makes life and relationships a lot easier.-Growth is a process—no one is perfect, and that's okay. Your Challenge This WeekTake a moment to reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses. Ask yourself: What's a strength I rely on too much?What's a weakness that actually benefits me in some way?How can I find better balance in my life?I'd love to hear your thoughts! Email me at jillatstartwithsmallsteps.com or leave a comment. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear it!

216 - Feeling Overwhelmed? Start Small Big goals are intimidating. But breaking them into smaller steps makes them achievable. Here's how: Start With the Simplest ActionInstead of thinking about the entire project, focus on the tiniest, easiest step. If your goal is to clean your house, don't aim for perfection. Just throw out the trash. If you want to start exercising, do one push-up. The key is to start so small you can't possibly fail. Use the Snowball EffectOnce you complete a small task, you'll feel motivated to do another. This builds momentum. When I cleaned my childhood home, I started with the bathroom because it was small. That small success encouraged me to keep going. Make It a HabitSmall steps aren't just about getting things done—they're about forming habits. Productivity expert BJ Fogg recommends starting with "tiny habits" so small they become second nature. For example, if you want to floss daily, just start by flossing one tooth. Once the habit is established, it naturally expands. Adjust Based on Your LifeOne of the best things about small steps is that they fit into any schedule. When I was busy with school and caregiving, my steps were extra tiny. During summer, I could do a little more. The key is consistency, not intensity. Stack Small Steps Over TimeOver time, small steps compound into big change. When I started focusing on weight loss, I didn't immediately jump into an intense fitness routine. Instead, I started walking more, eating slightly healthier, and making gradual adjustments. Now, I'm in a much better place—because I built my success in layers. Why Small Steps Work for Every Part of LifeThe beauty of small steps is that they apply to anything: ✅ Health & Fitness: Couch to 5K programs work by gradually increasing running time. Small steps make exercise sustainable.✅ Cleaning & Organization: Cleaning one small area at a time prevents burnout and keeps spaces manageable.✅ Work & Productivity: Tackling one email, one meeting, or one task at a time creates steady progress.✅ Mental Health & Personal Growth: One mindful moment, one journal entry, or one deep breath can make all the difference. Life keeps moving while you take small steps. You don't have to put everything else on hold—you can still enjoy hobbies, family, and rest while making steady progress toward your goals. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/216-feeling-overwhelmed-start-small/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

215 - What Not to Do with ADHD In this episode, we explore what not to do when managing ADHD—whether it's your own or that of someone you love. From handling distractions to avoiding harmful self-talk, this conversation is packed with practical strategies and insights. Learn how to set realistic expectations, build ADHD-friendly routines, and foster healthier relationships through understanding and collaboration. The Scottie Method for Time ManagementInspired by Star Trek, the Scottie Method encourages you to overestimate the time a task might take. This approach helps reframe successes as wins rather than failures, especially when projects take longer than expected. Eat the Frog or Eat the Cake?We break down the difference between tackling hard tasks first (“eating the frog”) versus starting with easier wins (“eating the cake”). The best strategy depends on your energy levels and when you're most focused during the day. Managing DistractionsADHD and distractions go hand in hand. Learn how to block time-wasting websites, create a focused workspace, and find stimulating yet non-distracting ways to stay engaged. Building ADHD-Friendly RoutinesRoutines may feel stifling, but they reduce decision fatigue and free up mental energy for more important tasks. We discuss how setting small daily habits can lead to greater productivity and stability. Supporting Someone With ADHDWe delve into the importance of understanding and patience when supporting someone with ADHD. Criticism, unrealistic expectations, or piling on tasks often backfires. Instead, focus on collaboration and leveraging strengths. Takeaways—Set Yourself Up for Success: Use tools like timers, focus apps, and checklists to combat forgetfulness and stay organized.—Avoid Perfectionism: Aim to complete tasks rather than striving for perfection every time—it's about progress, not flawless results.—Ask for Help: Don't be afraid to lean on others for tasks that don't align with your strengths. Collaboration can improve both productivity and relationships.—Limit Overcommitment: Learn to say “no” when needed to avoid burnout and spread yourself too thin.—Understand ADHD Strengths: ADHD brains bring creativity, problem-solving, and energy. Embrace these qualities while finding systems to manage weaknesses. A Note for Caregivers and Loved OnesIf you're supporting someone with ADHD, take the time to ask questions, offer help in areas they struggle with, and celebrate their strengths. Building a supportive relationship creates a foundation for growth and mutual understanding. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/adhd-survival-guide-what-not-to-do/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

214 - Unlocking ADHD Superpowers In this episode, I'm sharing how I've learned to see my ADHD not as a struggle, but as a set of superpowers that help me succeed in life. Growing up, I faced a lot of misunderstandings about what ADHD really is, but over time, I discovered that the way my brain works gives me unique strengths. From hyperfocus to creativity and resilience, I'll talk about the positive sides of ADHD and how I've learned to lean into them. If you've ever felt like ADHD was holding you back, this episode is for you. Hyperfocus – My Secret Weapon for ProductivityOne of the biggest strengths of my ADHD is hyperfocus. When I'm interested in something, I can tune out the world and get lost in it for hours. Whether it's working on my podcast, organizing my YouTube channel, or diving into a creative project, my hyperfocus allows me to accomplish a ton in a short period of time. But I've also learned that it's important to direct that focus towards the right things—something I still work on every day. Creativity – Thinking Outside the BoxMy ADHD brain is always bursting with ideas. Whether it's finding new ways to solve problems, coming up with creative content, or brainstorming fresh approaches, I see the world differently. This creativity has helped me stand out in my career and personal life, and I've found ways to harness it by writing down my ideas and revisiting them when I need inspiration. Resilience – Bouncing Back from ChallengesLiving with ADHD means constantly facing obstacles, from forgetfulness to impulsivity. But over the years, I've developed a level of resilience that helps me push through and keep going. I've learned how to adapt quickly and find solutions, even when things don't go as planned. This ability to pivot and stay flexible has been one of my greatest assets. High Energy – Embracing EnthusiasmI have a lot of energy, and when I'm excited about something, I go all in. My enthusiasm helps me tackle projects, connect with people, and stay motivated. Whether it's work, hobbies, or new challenges, I bring a level of passion and excitement that keeps me moving forward. Of course, I've learned to manage this energy by balancing it with rest and mindfulness when needed. Emotional Awareness – Understanding People on a Deeper LevelWhile ADHD can sometimes make me seem distracted, I'm actually very intuitive and emotionally aware. I pick up on subtle social cues and care deeply about the people around me. My ability to connect with others and offer support has become one of my strongest qualities, even if I don't always show it in conventional ways. Takeaways:-ADHD comes with incredible strengths like hyperfocus, creativity, and resilience.-Learning to work with my ADHD instead of against it has been life-changing.-Finding the right balance between energy and focus is key to success.-Support from friends and understanding my own needs has made a big difference in how I manage ADHD in everyday life. Join me in this episode as I celebrate the superpowers of ADHD and share tips on how you can harness yours too! Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

213 - ADHD Roadmap to Victories In this episode, I share my personal journey of managing ADHD and turning its challenges into strengths. From my chaotic childhood to my organized adult life, I discuss the tools, habits, and strategies that have helped me succeed. Along the way, I highlight the importance of small steps, incremental change, and embracing ADHD as a unique way of thinking. Whether you're navigating your own ADHD journey or supporting someone who is, this episode is filled with practical insights and encouragement to help you thrive. Recognizing ADHD StrugglesI talk about how ADHD affected me growing up in a disorganized home with minimal support. From procrastination to time blindness, I highlight the key challenges I faced and how they shaped my early approach to school and life. The Power of Small StepsBreaking big tasks into smaller, actionable steps changed everything for me. I explain how focusing on one step at a time helped me tackle overwhelming projects like research papers and big deadlines. Tools and Technology That Changed My LifeFrom Todoist to Notion, I dive into the digital tools that have brought structure and clarity to my life. I share how I use time blocking, color-coded notes, and multiple reminders to stay on track. Managing Emotions and ImpulsivityI explore techniques I've used to handle emotional responses and impulsive tendencies. Whether it's pausing before reacting or waiting before making a purchase, these strategies have helped me gain control over my decisions. Turning ADHD into a StrengthInstead of seeing ADHD as a limitation, I've learned to use its unique traits, like hyperfocus and creativity, to my advantage. I discuss how reframing ADHD as a strength has improved my work, relationships, and overall happiness. Takeaways -Small Changes Make a Big Impact: Start by making one or two small adjustments, like organizing your workspace or adopting a digital task manager.-Experiment with Tools: Find apps, routines, and strategies that work for your lifestyle, and don't be afraid to tweak them as needed.-Leverage Your Strengths: ADHD comes with unique advantages, such as creativity and energy. Recognize these and use them to your benefit.-Embrace Accountability: Tie your goals to others, whether it's a friend, coworker, or coach. Accountability can keep you motivated and on track.-Be Kind to Yourself: Managing ADHD is a journey. Progress takes time, but with persistence, it's possible to thrive. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/213-adhd-roadmap-to-victories/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

Living with ADHD: My Journey to Understanding In this episode, I open up about my personal journey with ADHD, a condition that's been both a challenge and a unique part of who I am. From my restless childhood to my career as an adult navigating deadlines, relationships, and responsibilities, I share the ups, downs, and surprising discoveries I've made along the way. ADHD isn't just about being distracted or hyper—it's about learning how to manage a brain that works a little differently. I'll take you through what it's like to live with ADHD, what I've learned about myself, and how I've found strategies that actually work. - What ADHD Feels Like from the Inside:I describe what it was like growing up with ADHD before I even knew what it was. From constant fidgeting to disappearing into my "happy place," I share how these traits shaped my childhood and how I learned to navigate them. - Hyperfocus, Inattention, and Time Blindness:ADHD isn't just about being easily distracted. I dive into how hyperfocus and time blindness have impacted my life—sometimes helping me achieve big things and other times making me feel stuck. - The Emotional Side of ADHD:The frustration of being labeled “lazy” or “unfocused” when I was really trying my best weighed heavily on me. I talk about how those feelings affected my self-esteem and how I've worked to reframe my relationship with ADHD. - Tools and Strategies That Changed My Life:I share how tools like planners, apps, and external accountability helped me find structure in the chaos. These strategies didn't just make my life easier—they helped me embrace my strengths. Takeaways: 1. You're Not Alone in This: ADHD looks different for everyone, but the struggles are real and shared. There's no shame in seeking help or finding creative ways to cope.2. Small Steps Lead to Big Changes: Whether it's setting up a simple to-do list or finding a supportive community, small actions can create meaningful progress.3. Focus on What Works for You: From embracing technology to leaning into what motivates me, I've learned that it's about finding solutions that fit your life—not trying to mold yourself into someone else's idea of “normal.” Closing Thoughts:I hope my story inspires you to rethink how you approach ADHD—whether it's your own or someone else's. It's not about “fixing” yourself; it's about finding what works and creating a life that fits you. If you'd like to share your story or ask me questions, email me at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com. Let's navigate this journey together!https://startwithsmallsteps.com/living-with-adhd-my-journey-to-understanding/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

211 - Why Scrooge's Transformation Resonates Today In this festive episode, we explore the timeless themes and moral lessons of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. From Ebenezer Scrooge's dramatic transformation to the significance of generosity, community, and self-reflection, this story has much to teach us about living meaningful lives. Join us as we break down the pivotal moments of the tale, reflect on its modern applications, and celebrate the enduring charm of this holiday classic. The Story of Ebenezer ScroogeWe unpack the journey of a man who transforms from a cold-hearted miser to a generous soul after being visited by three spirits. Scrooge's path from selfishness to selflessness serves as a powerful reminder that change is always possible. The Three Ghosts and Their SymbolismDiscover the roles of the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come. Each spirit challenges Scrooge to reflect on his life, confront his choices, and consider the legacy he wishes to leave behind. Dickens' Social CommentaryLearn how Charles Dickens used A Christmas Carol to address social issues of Victorian England, from poverty to the plight of factory workers, and how these themes resonate in today's world. Applying the Lessons to Modern LifeWhether it's embracing generosity, fostering relationships, or reflecting on our own lives, the lessons of A Christmas Carol remain profoundly relevant. We discuss actionable ways to carry the story's spirit into our daily routines. Takeaways:-Redemption is always possible. Scrooge's transformation shows that with self-reflection and effort, we can change our lives for the better.-Generosity is a gift that multiplies. Helping others enriches not only their lives but also ours, fostering deeper connections and purpose.-Time is precious. Whether it's spending time with loved ones or using our days to make meaningful contributions, A Christmas Carol reminds us to value the present.-Ignorance and want must be addressed. Dickens' warning about societal neglect remains crucial—education and support for the vulnerable are more important than ever. Closing Thoughts:This episode highlights why A Christmas Carol continues to inspire readers and viewers after nearly two centuries. Its message of compassion and transformation reminds us that the true spirit of Christmas—and life itself—lies in kindness, love, and redemption. Let the timeless story of Scrooge encourage you to embrace the joy and generosity of the holiday season, and carry that spirit with you all year long. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/211-why-scrooges-transformation-resonates-today/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

210 - Turning Lemons into Success In this episode, we dive into the inspiring ideas presented in Zach Friedman's book, The Lemonade Life: How to Create Success, Create Happiness, and Conquer Anything. We explore how self-awareness, resilience, and purposeful action can transform your life. From breaking free of the comparison trap to experimenting with new ideas, Friedman's insights provide a fresh perspective on building a fulfilling life. If you've ever felt stuck or unsure how to achieve your goals, this episode offers practical steps to help you move forward. Escaping the Joneses TrapOne of the first lessons in The Lemonade Life is breaking free from the cycle of comparison. Trying to "keep up with the Joneses" often leads to dissatisfaction, as we rarely see the full picture of others' lives. Instead of chasing external validation, Friedman urges us to focus inward and align our actions with what truly matters to us. The Importance of Self-AwarenessFriedman emphasizes the critical role of self-awareness in achieving happiness and success. By asking ourselves questions like "What makes me happy?" and "What unique talents can I share with the world?" we can create a life that feels authentic and rewarding. This section of the podcast discusses practical steps to cultivate self-awareness and align it with your goals. Life as an ExperimentSuccess rarely follows a straight line. Friedman suggests treating life as an experiment, where failures and missteps are opportunities to learn and grow. We explore how trying new approaches, analyzing results, and adjusting your strategies can pave the way for personal and professional breakthroughs. Navigating Life with a CompassInstead of relying on rigid plans, Friedman advocates for using a compass to guide your direction. This metaphorical compass helps you stay true to your North Star—your values and long-term goals—while adapting to life's inevitable twists and turns. In this segment, we discuss how a compass-based mindset encourages flexibility and resilience. Committing to Plan AOne of Friedman's boldest ideas is abandoning the safety net of Plan B. While this doesn't mean taking reckless risks, it emphasizes the power of fully committing to your primary goal. We discuss how focusing on Plan A allows you to channel your energy and creativity into making your dreams a reality. Key Takeaways: -Stop comparing your life to others and start focusing on your unique path.-Self-awareness is the foundation of success—discover what truly matters to you.-Life is a series of experiments; embrace failure as part of the process.-Use a compass to navigate your journey, focusing on direction rather than a fixed path.-Commit fully to your primary goal and avoid diluting your efforts with fallback plans.Final Thoughts: The Lemonade Life isn't about reaching a perfect destination—it's about enjoying the journey, learning from challenges, and celebrating small wins along the way. Take a moment to reflect on your personal compass. What's ahead of you? What lessons have you learned from your past? What inspires you, and what holds you back? If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share it with friends, and leave a comment. For questions or feedback, reach out to us at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com. Let's keep turning life's lemons into success and happiness, one step at a time. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/210-turning-lemons-into-success/ https://www.zackfriedman.com/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

209 - The Lemonade vs. Lemon Life We're diving into the idea of turning life's lemons into lemonade, inspired by Zach Friedman's book, The Lemonade Life: How to Fuel Success, Create Happiness, and Conquer Anything. We'll explore how to shift from a passive, “Lemon Life” mindset to an empowering “Lemonade Life,” where you take charge and thrive. I'll also share personal reflections, practical tools like the PRISM framework, and insights into overcoming common personality pitfalls that hold us back. Get ready to learn how embracing risks and building the right mindset can transform your life! I break down what it means to live a Lemon Life, where you're reactive and stuck, versus a Lemonade Life, where you're proactive and intentional. We all have the power to choose how we approach life's challenges.The PRISM Framework Perspective, Risk, Independence, Self-Awareness, and Motion—this is your roadmap to creating happiness and success. I talk about how each of these elements can help you reframe setbacks and take meaningful steps forward.Recognizing Personality Pitfalls Are you an External Excuser, Steady Settler, Daring Disruptor, or Change Chaser? I discuss how these tendencies can hold you back and share tips to overcome them.The Power of Happiness and Teamwork Happiness isn't something you wait for; it's something you cultivate first. I also highlight the importance of finding your “wolf pack”—the supportive people who help you succeed. Learning from FailureFailure isn't the end of the road. It's a stepping stone to success. I share personal stories about how setbacks shaped my journey and why risk-taking is essential to growth. Takeaways:Start shifting your mindset today—what challenges can you reframe as opportunities?Figure out which personality type might be holding you back and take small steps to change those habits.Don't wait to find happiness. Start by building gratitude and joy right now.Surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you, and make sure you're supporting them too.Embrace failure as part of the process—it's the best teacher for long-term success. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/209-the-lemonade-vs-lemon-life/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

208 - Simple Ways to Feel at Home in Any Place In this episode, we explore This Is Where You Belong by Melanie Warnick, a book that examines how to create a sense of belonging no matter where you live. The host reflects on her own journey to embrace her town, which has never felt like home, and Warnick's practical advice for fostering connection, appreciation, and engagement within one's community. The Illusion of “Elsewhere”: We often believe we'd be happier in a new place, but the reality is that happiness depends more on our perspective and community than location. Warnick's insight helps dismantle the myth that a move will “solve everything.” The Power of Knowing Your Neighbors: Engaging with neighbors creates a feeling of community and security. Building connections can be as simple as a friendly hello or lending a hand. When neighbors help each other, a town feels much more like home. Exploring the Local Scene: Discovering the unique offerings of your area—parks, markets, eateries, and historic spots—provides a fresh view and appreciation for where you live. Even if you've been in the area for years, Warnick suggests there's always something new to explore. Volunteering and Community Involvement: Engaging in community work helps you feel part of something bigger and more invested in the local area. Volunteering or joining a club can be transformative for both you and the community. Developing a Routine: Frequenting a favorite coffee shop, park, or walking route creates familiarity and a sense of belonging. Finding small routines that connect you to the place can make any location feel more comfortable and “yours.” Takeaways-Feeling at home is often about mindset more than physical location.-Building local connections and engaging in local activities can help transform a place into a beloved home.-Seeing the uniqueness of a place—the people, traditions, and sights—fosters a genuine appreciation for it.-Small efforts to connect with others and engage in the community can make you feel rooted no matter where you are. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/208-being-at-home-where-you-live/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

207 - Transforming Overthinking With A New Soundtrack In today's episode, we explore John Acuff's Soundtracks: A Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Acuff dives into the idea that we are the stories we tell ourselves, and how these internal "soundtracks" can either propel us forward or hold us back. We discuss the importance of recognizing negative soundtracks, retiring them, and replacing them with positive ones. Whether it's perfectionism or fear of failure, Acuff's advice offers practical steps to stop overthinking and start achieving your goals. Identifying Broken Soundtracks: Acuff explains how negative soundtracks are often so ingrained in our minds that we don't even notice them. We explore how to identify these self-sabotaging thoughts and why they are so destructive. Neuroplasticity and the Power to Change: A key concept in Soundtracks is neuroplasticity—the idea that our brains are capable of change at any age. This gives us the ability to rewrite our mental playlists and adopt more positive beliefs. Taking Action to Overcome Overthinking: The episode highlights how taking even the smallest action can disrupt the cycle of overthinking. By focusing on what we can do, rather than what we fear, we build confidence and momentum. Takeaways:Your thoughts shape your actions: Negative soundtracks can hold you back, but recognizing and replacing them is key to overcoming overthinking.Neuroplasticity empowers change: It's never too late to rewire your brain and adopt healthier thought patterns.Action disrupts overthinking: Start small, take action, and watch your confidence grow. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/207-transforming-overthinking-with-a-new-soundtrack/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

206 - Meet New People and Build Lasting Friendships In this episode, we explore how to make new friends and build lasting relationships in a world where social connections have become harder to maintain. Inspired by Start With Hello by Shannon Martin, we discuss how small steps can lead to big changes in your social life. Whether you're looking to rebuild connections lost during the pandemic or find new ways to meet people, this episode offers practical advice on how to start. The Power of Hello: How something as simple as greeting your neighbors can create opportunities for connection.Conversation Starters: Turning everyday events like buying a new car into ways to meet new people.Joining Clubs or Hobbies: How participating in group activities or hobbies helps form connections with like-minded people.The Challenge of Social Endurance: Recognizing that not every attempt to make friends will succeed, but persistence is key.The Importance of Vulnerability: Authenticity and openness are crucial in building strong, lasting friendships. Takeaways:Start Small: Meeting new people doesn't require grand gestures—just saying “hello” is often the first step. Be Consistent: Building friendships takes time and requires patience and endurance. Not every interaction will lead to a lasting connection, but some will. Be Genuine: Friendships are built on authenticity, so approach new relationships with openness and curiosity rather than a need to impress. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/206-meet-new-people-and-build-lasting-friendships/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

205 - Harnessing Military Brat Lessons In this episode, we talk about Harris Faulkner's book Nine Rules of Engagement, where she shares life lessons gleaned from growing up in a military family. Faulkner reflects on how military values such as resilience, teamwork, and integrity have shaped her approach to personal success. These principles are not just for soldiers but can be applied to everyday life to achieve success, overcome challenges, and develop inner strength. Trust in Your Potential: Faulkner emphasizes how military life fosters a sense of self-reliance and potential. Boot camp is more than just physical endurance—it's about pushing mental and emotional boundaries to discover your true strength. Building Your Special Forces: Surrounding yourself with trusted individuals—your own "special forces"—is critical for overcoming life's battles. Faulkner encourages finding people who have your back and nurture mutual trust. Overcoming Demons: Faulkner's rule on dealing with personal demons stands out. Whether they are habits or internal struggles, facing them head-on is essential for growth. She shares personal stories about how confronting her own shortcomings led to progress. Takeaways:This episode underlines the importance of personal integrity, readiness, and teamwork. The key to success lies in understanding your mission, staying ready to act, and always maintaining strong personal relationships. Tune in to learn how Faulkner's military upbringing can inspire and guide your personal journey to success. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/205-harnessing-military-brat-lessons/ https://www.harpercollins.com/blogs/authors/harris-faulkner https://abcnews.go.com/US/book-excerpt-harris-faulkners-rules-engagement/story?id=56245142 Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

204 - The World Through the Five Senses In this episode, we read about the fascinating world of senses based on Gretchen Rubin's book Life in Five Senses. We explore how being more mindful of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch can profoundly change how we experience life. Sight: Vision is more than what meets the eye. Our brain fills in the gaps, making sense of incomplete or ambiguous images. We also learn how perception changes based on context, like hunger influencing our view of objects as food. Sound: Rubin talks about the contrast between city noise and natural quiet. Even silence has its own "noise" if we listen closely. She explores how focusing on everyday sounds, like the hum of traffic or the chop of vegetables, can offer new insights into our surroundings. Smell and Taste: These senses are strongly linked, guiding our food choices and triggering memories. Rubin reveals how scents like freshly baked cookies can create emotional responses, even influencing decisions like buying a house. Touch: The pandemic made us realize how much we crave human touch, whether it's a hug or a pat on the shoulder. Touch extends beyond physical connection, including the vibrations of a car or the feel of soft fabrics. Takeaways: -Becoming more aware of our senses enriches our experience of the world.-Small steps, like focusing on one sense at a time, can deepen mindfulness.-Rubin encourages us to journal our sensory experiences to enhance memories and appreciation for everyday life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/204-the-world-through-the-five-senses/ https://gretchenrubin.com/books/life-in-five-senses/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

203 - Rediscovering Life Through Our Senses In this episode, we explore the fascinating world of our senses with insights from Gretchen Rubin's book Life in Five Senses. We discuss how our senses shape our understanding of the world, the ways in which they adapt when one is lost, and how paying attention to them can enhance our everyday experiences. The Role of Senses in Perception: We explore how our brain processes sensory information to create a complete picture of the world, combining inputs like sight, sound, and smell to form our understanding. Adaptability of Senses: Rubin shares her experience of losing her sense of smell due to COVID-19 and how this impacted her perception of taste. This temporary loss highlighted the interconnectedness of our senses and their adaptability when one is compromised. Unique Sensory Experiences: Everyone experiences the world differently through their senses. We discuss how personal preferences, such as taste and smell, vary and how our brain's biases influence these sensory experiences. Enhancing Sensory Awareness: Rubin's daily visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art were an attempt to immerse herself fully in sensory experiences. We discuss how such practices can deepen our appreciation of the world around us and bring us more into the present moment. Takeaways: Our senses are powerful tools that shape our perception of the world. By paying closer attention to them, we can enhance our experiences and find more joy in everyday life. The adaptability of our senses is remarkable, showing how our body compensates when one is lost or diminished. Each person's sensory experience is unique, shaped by their preferences and brain's biases. Embracing these differences can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and others. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/203-rediscovering-life-through-our-senses/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

202 - Wear the Six Thinking Hats In this episode, we explore Edward de Bono's revolutionary framework, "The Six Thinking Hats." This method offers a structured approach to problem-solving and decision-making by encouraging participants to adopt different mindsets, each represented by a colored hat. We explore how this technique can be applied in various scenarios, from corporate meetings to family discussions, to foster better collaboration and innovative solutions. Blue Hat: The Blue Hat is all about control and organization. It sets the agenda, defines the problem, and ensures that the discussion remains focused. White Hat: Focused on facts and information, the White Hat calls for data-driven thinking. It eliminates biases, enabling a clear view of the situation. Green Hat: Creativity flourishes under the Green Hat. It encourages thinking outside the box, exploring new possibilities and ideas. Yellow Hat: This hat embodies optimism. It looks at the positives, seeking the benefits and opportunities in any scenario. Red Hat: The Red Hat allows for the expression of emotions and feelings, which are crucial but often overlooked in decision-making. Black Hat: Lastly, the Black Hat introduces caution. It highlights potential pitfalls, helping teams to avoid hasty, ill-considered decisions. Introduction to the Six Thinking Hats: We start by explaining the core concept of the Six Thinking Hats, detailing each hat's role in the decision-making process. Learn how the Blue Hat manages the flow of the discussion, while the White Hat focuses on facts, and the Green Hat unleashes creativity. Real-Life Applications: Discover how the Six Thinking Hats can be applied to everyday situations, like planning a vacation or making strategic business decisions. We share examples that highlight how this method can transform complex, contentious discussions into productive and inclusive decision-making processes. The Benefits of Using the Hats: We discuss why the Six Thinking Hats are effective in fostering balanced thinking. By separating emotions from facts and allowing space for creative ideas, this method ensures that all aspects of a problem are considered, leading to well-rounded solutions. Key Takeaways: -The Six Thinking Hats method encourages exploring different perspectives to enhance problem-solving and decision-making.-This approach fosters collaboration by ensuring that every viewpoint is considered in a structured manner.-Using the Six Thinking Hats can lead to more innovative, practical, and inclusive solutions, whether in a corporate setting or personal life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/202-wear-the-six-thinking-hats/ https://www.debonogroup.com/services/core-programs/six-thinking-hats/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOMDQgjb360 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Thinking_Hats Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

201 - Creating Your Own Luck The intriguing concept of luck as presented in A.H.Z. Carr's book "How to Attract Good Luck and Make the Most of It in Your Daily Life." challenges the traditional notion of luck as mere chance or superstition, Carr offers a practical approach to creating luck through preparedness and the right mindset. Redefining Luck: Carr redefines luck as not a mystical force but a product of our responses to opportunities. He emphasizes that luck arises when we are prepared for chance events. For instance, if a piece of paper blows in our path, our decision to pick it up or ignore it can lead to different outcomes. This proactive response is what transforms chance into luck. Attracting Opportunities: The first step to creating luck is attracting opportunities. Carr argues that being likable and maintaining a zest for life are key factors. Friendly and generous people tend to draw others to them, increasing their chances of encountering opportunities. He also warns against traits like greediness and anxiety, which can repel luck. Recognizing and Responding to Opportunities: Recognizing opportunities when they arise is crucial. Being alert and attuned to the rhythms of life helps us identify potential in everyday events. Once recognized, acting on these opportunities is vital. Carr shares personal stories and examples to illustrate the importance of timely and appropriate responses to opportunities. Adapting to Your Environment: Carr highlights the importance of adapting to the rhythms of your environment. Whether in a bustling city or a quiet rural area, recognizing and responding to the unique opportunities in your surroundings can enhance your luck. Understanding and adapting to these rhythms is essential for creating luck. Takeaways:Luck is about being prepared and responsive to opportunities. By being likable, recognizing opportunities, and acting on them, you can create your own luck. Additionally, adapting to your environment helps in identifying and seizing opportunities, further enhancing your chances of experiencing good luck. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/creating-your-own-luck/ https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18079569-how-to-attract-good-luck Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

The MEEPS Method for Problem-Solving Change is hard, but with the right strategy, it becomes manageable. The MEMPS method—Motivate, Equip, Nudge, Push, and Shove—offers a structured approach to tackling problems and achieving goals. Here's how you can apply this method to your own life. The system takes into account the book by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein, Nudge. Motivate The first step is to inspire excitement. Create a vision board, set clear goals, and involve your friends and family for support. Motivation is about fostering a desire for the end result, making the journey towards it exciting and desirable. Equip Preparation is crucial. Ensure you have everything you need before starting. For example, if you're aiming to exercise more, have the right clothes, shoes, and a gym plan ready. Properly equipping yourself prevents loss of momentum and sets a solid foundation for success. Nudge Subtle reminders and small incentives help keep you on track. Whether it's setting reminders on your phone or using apps like Streaks, gentle nudges maintain progress without overwhelming pressure. They serve as friendly prompts to keep you moving in the right direction. Push Sometimes, a firmer approach is necessary. Set clear, measurable benchmarks and involve others to hold you accountable. If mornings aren't working for your exercise routine, adjust the plan. Direct actions, like placing alarm clocks away from your bed, ensure you take the necessary steps towards your goals. Shove This is the last resort. It involves significant consequences or commitments that make it almost impossible not to follow through. For instance, committing to give away money if you don't achieve a goal can be a powerful motivator. While harsh, shoves ensure that critical goals are met. The MEMPS method is versatile and can be tailored to various goals, from health and fitness to professional development. By following these steps, you create a structured pathway to success, ensuring that every effort you make brings you closer to your desired outcome. Start with motivation, prepare yourself, nudge gently, push when needed, and reserve the shove for when it's absolutely necessary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Y7BoHeGhB0I https://startwithsmallsteps.com/the-meeps-method-for-problem-solving/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

199 - Overcoming Costs and Creating Incentives This episode examines how costs, incentives, and biases influence our behavior and decision-making processes. Drawing from both economics and psychology, we discuss strategies to identify and manage these factors effectively, ensuring better outcomes in personal a nd professional scenarios. The Role of Incentives: We explore how incentives, whether financial, social, or intrinsic, significantly impact behavior. From bonuses at work to rewards for good grades, incentives motivate us by offering tangible or intangible benefits. Stephen Levitt's work highlights how even small incentives can drive substantial changes in behavior. We discuss various examples and the importance of creating effective incentive structures. Understanding Costs: Costs are not limited to financial expenses; they also include time, stress, and opportunity costs. We delve into how evaluating these costs helps in making more informed decisions. Real-life examples illustrate the hidden costs we often overlook. Understanding the full spectrum of costs associated with our decisions is crucial for making better choices. Psychological Influences: Behavioral economics combines psychology and economics to understand decision-making biases. We discuss common biases, such as resistance to change and the preference for immediate rewards, and how they affect our choices. By recognizing these biases, we can develop strategies to overcome them and make more rational decisions. Managing Costs and Enhancing Incentives: To make better decisions, it's essential to identify and manage costs effectively. We cover strategies for recognizing direct and indirect costs and mitigating them through informed planning. Additionally, we discuss the importance of clear goals and rewards, visible progress tracking, and regular reassessment of incentive programs to ensure they lead to desired behaviors without unintended negative consequences. Takeaways: Understanding and balancing costs and incentives is essential for making informed decisions and fostering positive behavior changes. By recognizing the true costs of our actions and strategically implementing incentives, we can improve our personal and professional lives. Join us as we explore these concepts and learn how to navigate costs and incentives for better decision-making. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/199-overcoming-costs-and-creating-incentives/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

198 - Navigating the Challenges of People Pleasing In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked downside of being too nice. Drawing from "Anxious to Please: Seven Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice" by James Rapson and Craig English, we discuss how chronic people pleasing can impact mental health, relationships, and personal fulfillment. We offer practical strategies to help listeners find a balance between kindness and self-respect. The Hidden Costs of People Pleasing: Chronic people pleasing can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and strained relationships. It often involves second-guessing oneself and constantly seeking approval. Recognizing Over-Accommodation: Awareness is the first step towards change. It is crucial to identify situations where one is overly accommodating and reflect on the emotions and thoughts behind these behaviors.Steps to Reclaim Your Authenticity: Small Acts of Self-Assertion: Start with minor actions like suggesting a restaurant or declining additional work. Forgiveness and Patience: Changing ingrained habits takes time. Be kind to yourself throughout the process. The Desert Practice: Spending time alone helps one reconnect with one's personal desires and needs. This practice encourages listening to one's own voice away from external influences. Developing a Personal Ethic: Adopt a mindset similar to a warrior who acts based on personal ethics rather than automatic niceness. This involves making conscious decisions aligned with personal values.Takeaways: Balance Kindness with Self-Respect: It's essential to be kind without compromising one's own well-being. Awareness and small steps towards self-assertion can help achieve this balance. Practice Solitude: Regularly spending time alone helps you understand and prioritize your needs. Conscious Decision Making: Acting based on personal ethics rather than habitual niceness leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/198-breaking-free-from-people-pleasing/ https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Please-Revolutionary-Practices-Chronically-ebook/dp/B001U29UDK Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

197 - Seven Key Questions to Be Self-Aware Understanding our essential self is a journey, one that requires introspection and a willingness to ask challenging questions. We look into these questions, drawing from Dain Dunston's book, Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness. This two-part series emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in navigating life's journey and achieving personal growth. 1 Where Are You? This foundational question urges listeners to evaluate their current life position, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically. It sets the stage for understanding one's starting point in the journey of self-awareness.2 Why Are You Here? Delving into the meaning behind our existence and actions, this question helps listeners identify their life's purpose, providing a clear direction and making everyday challenges more manageable.3 Who Are You Being? Examining the roles we play in life, this question distinguishes between our essential and synthetic selves, encouraging authentic living.4 What Do You Want? Understanding our desires and goals is crucial. This question helps listeners align their actions with their true aspirations, creating a cohesive path forward.5 What Wants to Happen? This metaphysical inquiry explores the broader direction of our lives, encouraging alignment with the larger movements of the world or our community.6 What Don't You Know? Acknowledging knowledge gaps and seeking to fill them is essential for growth. Confronting the unknowns that hinder progress is a key aspect of self-awareness.7 How Does This Feel? Assessing our emotional responses to our journey helps us navigate its complexities. Mixed feelings are natural, and understanding them aids in personal development. Takeaways:• Reflecting on these seven questions can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself, promoting personal growth and a more fulfilling life.• Small steps towards self-awareness, as emphasized by Burroughs, can significantly impact overall well-being.Authenticity in our roles and understanding our true desires are essential components of a meaningful life journey. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/seven-key-questions-to-be-self-aware/ https://daindunston.com/books/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

196 - Your Essential Being In this episode, we explore the concept of radical self-awareness, a transformative practice that allows us to reconnect with our core identity. Inspired by Dane Dunstan's book "Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness," we delve into how understanding our essential self can help us navigate life with clarity and purpose. Key Takeaways: Understanding Radical Self-Awareness: It's a practice that combines emotional intelligence, perceptiveness, and critical thinking. It involves recognizing our strengths, weaknesses, and motivations to lead our minds effectively. Overcoming External Labels: We often get boxed into outdated perceptions by those around us. Embracing our evolved selves requires breaking free from these labels and understanding our true identity. The Essential Child: Revisiting childhood passions and moments of pure joy can guide us in understanding what makes us feel alive. These core desires help align our lives with our authentic selves. Identifying Genuine Aspirations: Many pursue goals imposed by societal norms, leading to unfulfillment. Identifying what we genuinely want allows us to set meaningful goals and make authentic choices. Reflective Questions: Dunstan suggests using introspective questions to explore our essential self. Reflecting on where we feel most alive and what excites us provides insights into our true nature. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/196-your-essential-being/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

195 - Shortcuts in Achieving Goals In our pursuit of goals, the question often arises: is it acceptable to use shortcuts? This topic is more nuanced than it appears, blending practical considerations with ethical ones. Let's explore the implications of using shortcuts to achieve goals and how they impact our learning, integrity, and success. Shortcuts are often perceived negatively, equated with cheating or avoiding hard work. However, not all shortcuts are created equal. Tools like AI, productivity apps, and medical interventions can provide a leg up without compromising our values. For instance, scheduling software helps organize tasks and bills, improving efficiency without undermining our skills. This raises an essential question: when do shortcuts hinder personal growth, and when do they facilitate it? Consider health and weight loss. Tools like Ozempic or gastric bypass surgery offer quick results but can bypass the critical learning process associated with lifestyle changes. This perspective is echoed by many who argue that reliance on such tools may lead to regaining weight once the shortcut is removed. The key issue here is whether these shortcuts help achieve long-term, sustainable health improvements or merely provide a temporary fix. Similarly, in education and work, tools like AI can aid learning and productivity. For example, using Grammarly to improve writing can be educational, offering insights into common mistakes. However, outsourcing tasks like writing a book or completing assignments can lead to dependency and a lack of skill development. Using apps like Merlin to learn bird calls can be instrumental in finding and learning more about birds. People who already know the birds can scorn the app, but instead, they should look at it as an educational tool if people use it correctly. For instance, I experience with weight loss—both through structured programs and gradual, self-directed efforts—demonstrates the importance of balancing immediate results with long-term habits. The same principle applies to financial management, where learning through experience often proves more valuable than quick fixes like debt bailouts. Yet, shortcuts are not inherently negative. They can be beneficial when they provide necessary support without completely replacing personal effort. AI tools for content creation, for instance, can enhance productivity while still requiring user input and creativity. Similarly, health apps and wearable technology can promote fitness by offering motivation and tracking progress. Ultimately, the decision to use shortcuts should be guided by their impact on learning and personal development. If a shortcut merely offers a temporary solution without fostering growth or understanding, it may be counterproductive. However, if it serves as a stepping stone towards greater efficiency and knowledge, it can be a valuable tool. In conclusion, shortcuts can be both beneficial and detrimental, depending on their application and the individual's approach. Balancing the use of shortcuts with a commitment to personal growth and ethical considerations ensures that they serve as aids rather than crutches in achieving our goals. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/195-shortcuts-in-achieving-goals/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

194 - Overcoming Tedious Tasks In today's episode, we explore how to tackle the boring, tedious tasks that often derail our productivity. Drawing insights from Peter Hollens' book, Self-Disciplined: for Tedious, Boring, and Difficult Things, we discuss practical strategies to make these tasks more manageable. 1. 52/17 Technique: Work for 52 minutes, then take a 17-minute break. This method, based on the Pomodoro Technique, helps maintain focus and reduces mental fatigue.2. Parking Downhill: Start with simple tasks to build momentum. Ease into your workday with activities that require less cognitive effort, like checking emails.3. Four Quarters Method: Divide your day into four segments—early morning, late morning, afternoon, and evening. This makes your day feel less daunting and allows you to align tasks with your energy levels.4. 12-Week Plan: Focus on short-term, 12-week goals instead of annual resolutions. This creates a sense of urgency and allows for frequent reassessments and adjustments.5. Pickle Jar Theory: Prioritize by starting with the most critical tasks (big rocks) and filling in with smaller tasks (pebbles and sand). This ensures your most important tasks get done first.6. Daily Themes: Assign specific days to particular types of tasks. Consistency builds rhythm and reduces decision fatigue.7. Energy Patterns: Schedule demanding tasks during your peak energy times. Understand whether you're a morning or evening person and plan accordingly.8. Automation and Templates: Automate repetitive tasks and use templates to streamline workflows, reducing mental load and freeing up time for more critical activities. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/194-overcoming-tedious-tasks/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

193 - Formulas for Life In this episode, we delve into Patrick King's book, Social Equation, which offers practical formulas to enhance social interactions. Discover how to build trust, improve workplace harmony, and foster romantic relationships through King's insightful equations. Building trust is fundamental to any strong relationship, and Patrick King offers a straightforward formula to achieve this: Trustworthiness = Consistency x Reliability / Number of Betrayals. This emphasizes the importance of being consistent and reliable while minimizing betrayals to maintain and build trust. In the workplace, harmony is crucial for productivity and job satisfaction. King's formula for workplace harmony is Respect x Cooperation / Conflicts + Ego. By fostering respect and cooperation and reducing conflicts and ego clashes, a more harmonious and productive work environment can be created. For romantic relationships, King provides a more nuanced formula: Common Interest x Physical Attraction x Emotional Connection to the Power of Adaptability. This formula highlights the need for shared interests, physical and emotional attraction, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances to maintain a strong romantic bond. When it comes to effective learning, King suggests that it can be quantified as Curiosity x Engagement / Number of Distractions. Staying curious and engaged while minimizing distractions can significantly enhance learning efficiency. Friendships are built on four key components: proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity. King's formula for friendship development is Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Maintaining frequent and meaningful interactions is essential for deepening friendships. Mastering small talk can be daunting, but King provides a simple strategy: answer the question asked, provide two additional lines of detail, and then pass the conversation back. This approach helps keep conversations engaging and dynamic, turning small talk into deeper, more meaningful exchanges. Introducing people to each other can be a powerful networking tool. King's formula for perfect introductions is Past + Future. Start by mentioning the present role of the person, then share something from their past that establishes credibility, and finally, suggest a future connection between the individuals. Takeaway Challenge:Create three personal formulas to tackle current problems. For example, a weight loss formula could be Burning Calories x Activity / Eating Calories + Sedentary Time. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/193-formulas-for-life/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

192 - The Enduring Wisdom of George Washington's Rules In today's episode, we delve into George Washington's “110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior,” a set of guidelines that the first U.S. President copied from a French etiquette manual during his youth. These rules, which shaped his conduct and helped forge his character, offer timeless wisdom on politeness and decorum that is surprisingly relevant in our modern society. The Foundation of Civility: We start by exploring the significance of these rules in Washington's life and how they influenced his reputation as a leader. These principles were not just about manners but about forging a character equipped for leadership and respectful interactions. A.J. Jacobs' Experiment: We discuss how contemporary writer A.J. Jacobs adopted Washington's rules in his life for a month, as detailed in his book “My Life as an Experiment.” Jacobs' experiences reveal the practicality of these rules in modern settings, emphasizing concise communication (Rule 34) and showing respect in every interaction (Rule 1). Applying Old Wisdom to New World Challenges: We talk about how these historical guidelines can be applied to today's digital communication challenges, encouraging more thoughtful and respectful engagements in both personal and professional contexts. Favorite Rules and Anecdotes: Our host shares their favorite civility rules and some humorous yet insightful anecdotes about trying to live by these guidelines in everyday life, including the complexities and unexpected outcomes of such an experiment. Call to Action: We invite listeners to reflect on how incorporating elements of Washington's civility into daily interactions could improve their communication and relationships. We also encourage audience participation by asking listeners to submit their own modern-day rules of civility.Conclusion: Wrapping up, we consider the enduring impact of these rules on modern etiquette and the potential for rediscovering civility in our fast-paced, often impersonal world. Tune in to gain insights into how historical lessons can foster a more respectful and thoughtful society today. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/192-the-enduring-wisdom-of-george-washingtons-rules/ https://bpb-us-e1.wpmucdn.com/sites.usc.edu/dist/a/836/files/2015/05/George-Washingtons-Rules.pdf Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

191 - Don't Join the Cynicism In this episode, we look into the pervasive issue of cynicism in our modern society, exploring its causes and impactful strategies to foster a more positive outlook. Drawing inspiration from the wise words of George Carlin, we discuss how disillusionment leads to cynicism and how we can transform this mindset to improve our overall quality of life. Understanding Cynicism: We start by defining cynicism and its roots in disappointment, highlighting the fine line between healthy skepticism and harmful cynicism. Developing Discernment: Learn about the importance of discernment in combating cynicism, enabling us to remain critical yet open-hearted and trusting. Reframing Perspectives: We discuss shifting from a passive to an active stance, focusing on problem-solving rather than problem-dwelling. Limiting Negativity: Tips on reducing exposure to negative triggers, such as distressing news and toxic social media. Cultivating Gratitude: Emphasizing the power of gratitude to shift focus from what's missing to what's present. Community Engagement: The benefits of engaging in positive social activities and volunteer work to combat feelings of isolation and negativity. Personal Accountability: A challenge to listeners to identify personal sources of cynicism and actively seek to change their perspectives. Join us as we journey away from cynicism, taking deliberate steps toward a more optimistic and fulfilling life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/191-dont-join-the-cynicism/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

190 - Hit the Point and Sell it Welcome to today's episode where we dive into the art of brevity in communication, inspired by the book "Smart Brevity: The Power of Saying More with Less." Today, we'll explore why brevity is essential and how to achieve it effectively. Importance of Order: Start communications with the most crucial information. This ensures that even if the audience loses interest later, they've already received the key message. Bullet Points vs. Paragraphs: Learn why bullet points can be more effective than long text blocks for keeping your reader or listener engaged. Editing for Impact: We discuss strategies for eliminating unnecessary words and focusing on content that adds real value to the conversation. Powerful Language: The use of strong verbs and nouns can make your communication more impactful and easier to remember. Efficiency in Meetings: Tips on how to conduct shorter, more focused meetings that respect everyone's time and contribute to more productive team interactions. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/190-hit-the-point-and-sell-it/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

189 - Be Brief To Get Readers In our fast-paced digital age, where every second counts, mastering the art of brevity has become crucial for effective communication. The concept, brilliantly explored in the book "Smart Brevity: The Power of Saying More with Less" by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz, reveals how concise communication can significantly improve how we connect with others. The essence of brevity lies in the ability to be succinct without sacrificing the depth of the message. This is not about reducing the length of communication for the sake of it, but about enhancing clarity and engagement. The book teaches readers to cut through the noise of excessive information and focus on what truly matters. This is particularly valuable in a world where individuals average just 26 seconds on a piece of content. "Smart Brevity" advocates for a structured approach to concise communication. It starts with crafting a "muscular tease" — a compelling headline that grabs attention. The lede follows, a potent sentence encapsulating the core message. Providing context is next, explaining why the message is relevant. Lastly, if the reader's interest is piqued, additional details are offered succinctly. Adopting these strategies can transform mundane emails into impactful messages, long-winded articles into engaging reads, and tedious meetings into sessions of productive exchange. It encourages communicators to respect their audience's time by offering information that is not just easy to consume but also valuable. Implementing brevity in our daily communications doesn't mean oversimplifying complex ideas. Instead, it's about being thoughtful with our word choice, ensuring every word serves a purpose. By practicing the principles of "Smart Brevity," we not only make our communication more effective but also more likely to be read, understood, and appreciated in a world overloaded with words. https://www.axioshq.com/smart-brevity https://startwithsmallsteps.com/189-be-brief-and-get-read/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

188 - Sharing Creativity with Others Welcome back to our exploration of creativity, where today we dive deep into the heart of innovation with Austin Kleon's influential work, "Steal Like an Artist." This episode unravels the fabric of creativity, guiding us through the art of borrowing ideas to forge our unique path. Join us as we dissect key insights and share personal anecdotes inspired by Kleon's philosophy. Unveiling Creativity: We kick off the episode by challenging the myth of originality. Discover how embracing influences and integrating diverse ideas can become the bedrock of creativity, offering a fresh perspective on Kleon's call to action: "Steal two or more ideas and start juxtaposing them." The Creator's Signature: Delve into the significance of personal voice. Learn why your experiences and interpretations are the threads that bind your creative works together, providing unity amidst diversity. Hobbies as Creative Catalysts: Hear about the liberating power of hobbies. We share stories on how engaging in activities just for the joy of it—be it watercolors or bird watching—can replenish our creative wells and inspire breakthroughs. Sharing is Caring: Reflecting on Kleon's advice to share generously, we discuss the transformative experience of making our work public. Whether it's hitting the publish button on a podcast or sharing a sketch online, we explore how feedback and community engagement fuel our creative journey. Conclusion: In closing, we emphasize the overarching theme of "Steal Like an Artist": Creativity is a communal table, and we're all invited to dine. It's about borrowing, reinventing, and contributing to the ongoing conversation of creation. Let's take small steps towards unveiling our creative selves, inspired by the wisdom of Austin Kleon. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/__creativity https://austinkleon.com/ https://austinkleon.com/steal/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

187 - The Art of Creative Borrowing Inspiration Welcome to today's episode, where we dive deep into Austin Kleon's book, “Steal Like an Artist.” This book has resonated with creators worldwide, urging us to rethink our approach to creativity and inspiration. Kleon delivers a powerful message: innovation doesn't spring from a vacuum but from the rich tapestry of existing work.Key takeaways from today's discussion: -Creativity is a communal activity. By acknowledging our influences, we engage in a dialogue with the past, enriching our work. -The distinction between good and bad theft: Kleon outlines that creative borrowing involves transformation, not imitation. We should aim to absorb and reinterpret, not just replicate. -Building a personal “swipe file” of inspirations and influences can be a wellspring for future projects. This collection is a testament to our eclectic tastes and a toolbox for creativity. -The concept of the creative family tree: Identifying our influences helps us understand our place in the creative ecosystem, offering both inspiration and direction. Kleon's insights are not just philosophical musings but practical strategies for everyday creativity. Whether you're a writer, artist, or entrepreneur, “Steal Like an Artist” offers invaluable lessons on making the most of the world's cultural offerings to enrich your own creations. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/187-the-art-of-creative-borrowing-inspiration/ https://austinkleon.com/ https://austinkleon.com/steal/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

186 - Embrace Adventure And Live Fully In this episode, we dive into the profound lessons from Bear Grylls' “How to Be a Scout,” exploring how the principles of wilderness survival apply to our daily lives. Grylls introduces the STOP acronym—Stop, Take a moment, Observe, Plan—as a method to tackle life's challenges head-on without succumbing to panic.We discuss how the priorities of Protection, Rescue, Water, and Food (P-R-W-L) in survival situations can be metaphorically applied to any crisis, emphasizing the importance of assessing and addressing our fundamental needs. Grylls' advice on dreaming big, starting small, and the crucial ‘shakeout run' before major endeavors resonates across various aspects of life, highlighting the value of preparation and learning from minor setbacks.Stepping out of the comfort zone into the fear zone is a pivotal theme, encouraging listeners to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. Grylls champions the use of positive language and being true to oneself, emphasizing the impact of positivity on personal development and the importance of a growth mindset.Join us as we unpack these life lessons, drawing inspiration from Grylls' adventures to navigate our journeys with courage, resourcefulness, and a spirit of adventure. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/186-embrace-adventure-and-live-fully/ https://www.beargrylls.com/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com