Start with Small Steps

What does it actually mean to use AI and still feel like yourself? In this episode, Jill breaks down her personal approach to AI — not the flashy, let-it-do-everything version, but a quieter, more honest one. If you've ever felt uneasy about AI but couldn't quite explain why, this one's for you.Top Topics Covered:1. Why AI Makes So Many of Us Uncomfortable It's usually not about being afraid of technology. Most people are really worried about three things: taking jobs from others, getting fed fake information, or pretending to be someone they're not. Naming that discomfort is the first step.2. The "Jill Method" of Using AI Three simple rules for using AI without losing yourself: use it as a mirror, not a mask. Let it reflect your thinking back to you — not replace it. The moment it starts covering for you instead of clarifying you, that's the line.3. AI Isn't New — We Just Didn't Call It That Remember when Amazon started suggesting books you might like? That was AI. It's been woven into our lives for a long time. What's changed is how smart and conversational it's become — not what it fundamentally is.4. The Job Question Nobody Wants to Answer Yes, AI will change some jobs. The internet did too. But the internet also created millions of jobs no one could have imagined in 1990. History gives us reason to be cautious — and reason not to panic.5. Using AI to Think Better, Not Less The best use of AI isn't outsourcing your ideas — it's sharpening them. Use it to find holes in your thinking, practice hard conversations, organize your thoughts, or understand something confusing. It's the assistant you could never afford to hire.Takeaway: This episode isn't anti-AI or blindly pro-AI. It's about finding your own honest middle ground. Tools don't steal your authorship — abdicating your thinking does. When AI helps you become a clearer, stronger version of yourself, that's exactly what it's for. And when it starts to feel like a mask? That's when Jill puts it down.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

What if the problem isn't your budget—but your income? When cutting expenses isn't enough, it's time to rethink how money actually works. This episode breaks down practical, realistic ways to earn more without burning out.Episode TitleWhen Budgeting Isn't Enough: How to Earn More Without Working Yourself to DeathEpisode SummaryThis episode wraps up a multi-part series on money by shifting the focus from cutting expenses to increasing income. After learning how to budget, categorize spending, and manage money responsibly, the conversation turns to a hard truth: sometimes the math simply doesn't work without earning more. Drawing from personal experience and insights inspired by Tiffany Aliche and How to Get Good with Money, the episode explores why income is tied to value, replaceability, and visibility—not effort alone. It reframes earning more money as a strategic, skill-based process rather than a moral judgment or measure of self-worth.Top Topics CoveredWhy Working Harder Isn't the AnswerThe episode explains why long hours and exhaustion don't automatically translate into higher pay. Income is connected to market value, how specialized a role is, and how easily someone can be replaced. Understanding this removes shame and helps people think more clearly about their options.Asking for a Raise—With EvidenceRather than emotional appeals, raises should be approached with data. A “brag folder” becomes a powerful tool for tracking accomplishments, customer impact, time saved, and problems solved. This evidence makes performance visible and reduces anxiety during reviews and salary conversations.Becoming Harder to ReplaceLearning one critical skill deeply can change an entire career trajectory. Specialization, not job titles or degrees, often creates leverage. The episode highlights how focusing on overlooked problems or difficult tasks can dramatically increase stability and income.Recognizing Hidden SkillsSkills aren't just technical. Teaching, organizing, calming upset people, troubleshooting, and managing projects all carry real value. Personal life experiences—like leading volunteers or handling conflict—count and can be translated into paid work.Side Hustles That Don't Drain Your LifeSide income doesn't have to mean building an empire. The episode explores low-setup, low-stress options that align with existing strengths, from short-term projects to platform-based work that fits into real life.Key TakeawaysMaking more money isn't mysterious—it's strategic. Income grows when skills, needs, and visibility align. The most powerful step is taking responsibility for understanding personal value and learning how to place it wisely. Whether through negotiating pay, building expertise, changing roles, or adding a small side income, progress comes from intentional, realistic action. When expenses can't shrink further, increasing income becomes the other half of the equation—and it's one that can be approached one small step at a time.

Money doesn't just live in your bank account—it lives in your gut, your sleep, and your sense of safety. What if saving wasn't about restriction, but about relief? This episode breaks down how emergency savings can completely change your relationship with money.In this episode, the conversation explores how deeply emotional money can be and how fear, panic, and avoidance often shape financial decisions more than logic ever does. Drawing from lived experience and insights from Get Good With Money by Tiffany Aliche, the discussion walks through practical, realistic ways to build emergency savings, reduce anxiety, and regain control. The focus isn't on becoming wealthy overnight, but on creating stability, resilience, and peace of mind through intentional saving and smarter systems.Top Topics CoveredThe Emotional Cost of MoneyMoney problems often show up as panic, dread, and sleepless nights. When bills arrive or emergencies hit, the lack of savings can trigger fear and avoidance. Understanding that money is emotional—not just mathematical—is the first step toward change.Emergency Savings and the “Squirrel” MindsetEmergency savings are framed as protection, not deprivation. Using the analogy of squirrels storing acorns during good times, the episode emphasizes saving when life is calm so emergencies don't lead straight to debt and chaos.The Power of the First $1,000Building even a small emergency fund can break the cycle of constant debt. Once there's a buffer, unexpected expenses no longer require credit cards, and financial momentum finally begins to shift.The Noodle BudgetA “noodle budget” identifies the bare minimum needed to survive if everything goes wrong. Knowing this number removes fear and clarifies how much flexibility actually exists in everyday spending.Automating Savings and Separating AccountsAutomating savings and separating money into purpose-driven accounts removes decision fatigue and emotional stress. Bills get paid, savings grow quietly, and spending money becomes clear and guilt-free.Key TakeawaysEmergency savings create calm, not limitation. Having money set aside reduces panic, improves sleep, and allows better decisions during crises. Over time, savings transform money from a source of fear into a tool for freedom.Priorities matter more than appearances. By focusing on what truly brings value—rather than constant small purchases—long-term goals like security, retirement, and meaningful experiences become possible.Money works best when it's intentional and invisible. Systems that move money automatically make consistency easier than willpower ever could.

Money doesn't have to feel scary, confusing, or overwhelming. It can become calm, clear, and even empowering. This is where learning to get good with money really begins.This episode begins a new series focused on building a healthier, calmer relationship with money. It explores how fear, avoidance, and past experiences shape financial behavior, and how learning simple, practical systems can replace panic with clarity. Drawing inspiration from the book Get Good With Money by Tiffany Aliche, the episode focuses on understanding money emotionally first, then practically, so long-term change can actually stick.Top Topics CoveredMoney and Emotional StressMoney is rarely just about numbers. Anxiety, fear, and avoidance often come from early life experiences and repeated financial struggles. This episode explores how recognizing those emotional patterns is the first step toward changing them.Budgeting Without PanicBudgeting is reframed as awareness, not restriction. Instead of obsessing over every dollar, the focus is on simply understanding what comes in, what goes out, and where money actually lives. Knowledge replaces fear when money stops being a mystery.Simple Categories That Create ControlExpenses are broken into clear groups—fixed bills, usage-based bills, and flexible spending. Seeing money this way makes it easier to identify where change is possible without feeling deprived or overwhelmed.Systems That Support Real LifeAutomation, multiple accounts, and separating bill money from spending money help reduce stress and protect progress. These systems aren't about perfection—they're about creating guardrails that make consistency easier.Key TakeawaysGetting good with money starts by removing shame. Past mistakes don't need to be relived or punished—they just need to be acknowledged and left behind. Progress comes from moving forward with better information, not perfect behavior.Money improves when it becomes neutral. Like cleaning up a spill with a towel, financial missteps don't require panic or self-judgment. They require calm action and follow-through.A healthy relationship with money creates stability, confidence, and peace of mind. Wealth isn't the first goal—emotional safety is. When fear is removed, better financial decisions naturally follow.

We explore the power of listening to tough life stories—not to compare pain, but to understand human endurance, build compassion, and rediscover resilience. From personal family history to generational trauma and wisdom, the episode invites us to step beyond our own moment and tap into the deep well of human experience. By hearing how others have navigated impossible situations, we gain perspective—and a path forward.Top Topics Covered:1. The Story That Sparked It AllA reflection on the host's grandmother who lived through extraordinary hardship—from immigration to loss, poverty, and displacement. Discovering her story through research led to a deeper appreciation of what past generations survived and why those stories matter.2. Why Our Struggles Feel So HeavyOur suffering often feels unique and overwhelming, not because it's worse—but because it's all we know. Without knowledge of the past, we miss out on the wisdom and perspective of those who lived through hardship with far fewer resources.3. Pain Is Not a CompetitionAcknowledging the suffering of others doesn't erase our own. Instead, it grounds us in shared human experience and helps us carry our own burdens with more context and humility.4. Generational Resilience and LessonsEach generation faced its own form of chaos, danger, and uncertainty—from the Great Depression to nuclear war anxiety, to Gen Z's digital saturation. Understanding this helps bridge divides and connects us through shared struggle, not blame.5. Where to Find Real StoriesIf you didn't grow up hearing these stories firsthand, they're still out there: in your community, your church, libraries, senior centers, volunteer work, or even through memoirs and biographies. Real people, real wisdom.Takeaways:This episode isn't about dismissing modern pain—it's about expanding our lens. The quiet strength of people who had no roadmap, no information, and no guarantees is deeply instructive. We aren't the first to face hard times, and we don't have to figure it out alone. When we connect with others—across generations, cultures, and stories—we discover that human resilience is not extraordinary; it's ordinary people doing the next right thing.We learn to act even when we're afraid. To take small steps, like those before us. And to remember that strength doesn't come from avoiding pressure—it comes from walking through it. Their stories shape our own, if we choose to listen.

265: The Power of Pretending: How Psychological Halloweenism Can Improve Your LifeIn this episode, we explore a fascinating and unexpected idea: pretending your way into better choices. It might sound counterintuitive, especially in a culture that champions authenticity. But what if tapping into a different persona, even temporarily, could make you braver, healthier, and more productive? Welcome to the concept of psychological Halloweenism—the practice of stepping outside your own identity to access traits you need in the moment.Inspired by a quote from Jim Henson—“Life's like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending.”—this episode dives into how adopting a different mindset or character can push us toward growth and better decision-making.Top Topics in This Episode1. The Science of Pretending and the Brain's RolePretending isn't about being fake—it's about gaining perspective. When we imagine how someone else would approach a problem, the brain pulls from our own experiences and merges them with that imagined personality. This creates mental distance from our usual behavior patterns, helping us think and act in new, more productive ways.2. Lessons from Childhood: Halloween and BeyondKids know this intuitively—put on a superhero costume and suddenly they're bold and unstoppable. That confidence boost doesn't have to be limited to childhood. Adults can benefit from stepping into different roles too, whether it's through visualization, intentional behavior changes, or playful role-play.3. Psychological Halloweenism in ActionWe look at a 2016 study that showed how pretending to be someone else—like a narrow-minded librarian or a creative poet—helped people think more creatively. The specific persona didn't matter; what mattered was getting outside their default mindset.4. Real-Life Role Models and Borrowed TraitsFrom imagining a friend who's super organized to channeling a bold, assertive personality in tough situations, you'll hear practical stories about using alter egos to face challenges. Whether it's Grocery Shopping Jill, a fictional rule-setter who keeps spending in check, or a fitness-minded adventurer friend, these personas offer clarity and motivation.5. Power Poses and the Missed MessageWe revisit the infamous “power pose” concept, not as a failed body language trick, but as an example of missing the point. It wasn't the pose that created confidence—it was the story and persona behind it that mattered. Without imagination and internal narrative, the magic falls flat.6. Odysseus and Rule-Based Self-ControlDrawing inspiration from Greek mythology, the episode illustrates how we can create systems to protect ourselves from our own impulses. Just as Odysseus tied himself to the mast to resist the sirens, we can adopt personas that follow pre-set rules to avoid self-sabotage.Key TakeawaysSometimes, we need to borrow courage, discipline, or creativity. Pretending to be someone who already has the traits we lack in the moment can help us overcome inertia, make better choices, and reach our goals. This doesn't fracture your identity—it builds a bridge to the person you want to become. Whether it's Grocery Shopping Jill, a fearless adventurer, or a highly organized roommate, those alter egos can be powerful guides.Using psychological Halloweenism gives us a break from self-judgment, allowing action and growth where there might otherwise be resistance. Pretending, far from being fake, can be one of the most authentic steps toward change. So the next time you're stuck, ask: Who would handle this better? Then, pretend you're them—just long enough to take the next right step.This episode is your invitation to explore what it means to grow through imagination and intentional identity-shifting. Who might you become—if only for a moment—to move forward in your...

Getting to Yes with Yourself: The Art of Inner NegotiationIn this episode, we explore one of the most underrated yet powerful skills in personal growth: learning how to negotiate with yourself. Drawing inspiration from William Ury's book Getting to Yes with Yourself, we unpack the internal barriers that often sabotage our goals—not external resistance, but the silent friction within. Whether it's sticking to a health plan, changing careers, or taking time off, the hardest “yes” to get is often from ourselves.This episode offers practical insights into self-awareness, emotional honesty, and the tools of effective internal dialogue. It's about learning to listen to your true needs, treating yourself with empathy, and crafting realistic solutions when life doesn't go as planned.Top Topics Covered:1. The Hardest Person to Convince is YouWe often think the struggle lies in convincing others—our boss, our family, or our friends—but in truth, the biggest obstacle is internal. This episode opens with the reminder that we must first believe in our decisions before we can pursue meaningful change. The first "yes" must always come from within.2. Understanding BATNA: Your Backup PlanA key negotiation concept, BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), is explored through a personal lens. If your original plan—like taking an expensive vacation—falls through, what's your alternative? Maybe it's a cozy weekend in the woods. We discuss how to turn a “not now” into a satisfying “instead.”3. Listening to What You Really NeedWhat looks like a luxury car might actually be about needing safety. What sounds like a dream vacation might just be a cry for rest. By taking a step back—or going “to the balcony” as Ury calls it—we can see the deeper emotional drivers behind our surface-level goals.4. Facing Old Fears and Updating ThemMuch of our resistance to change comes from outdated fears. We dive into how these past experiences show up in new contexts, often holding us back. The goal isn't to dismiss the fear but to acknowledge it, understand its origin, and gently update it based on current reality.5. From WATNA to Minimum Viable ProgressThe episode also introduces WATNA (Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) and how to redefine “failure.” Sometimes, the smallest action—like a 10-minute workout—is still a win if it keeps you moving. It's about flexibility, compassion, and defining the bare minimum you can accept without giving up.Key Takeaways:Negotiating with yourself isn't about tricking yourself into doing hard things—it's about respect. Real change doesn't come from bullying yourself into action but from having honest, thoughtful conversations with your inner self. You'll learn that getting a “yes” from yourself starts by recognizing your true needs, challenging outdated beliefs, and being flexible enough to find the next best solution.This episode will inspire you to rethink how you make decisions and how to create a path forward even when the ideal solution isn't possible. It's not about perfection—it's about progress that sticks. Whether you're trying to improve your health, make a big life shift, or simply feel less stuck, the art of internal negotiation might just be your most valuable tool.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

In this episode of Start With Small Steps, we explore why so many New Year's resolutions fall apart just weeks into January—and how to make lasting changes instead. This isn't about motivation hacks or dramatic transformations. It's about starting where you are and making your goals achievable every day, even on your worst days. We'll break down why giant goals often fail and how shrinking the entry point can lead to real, sustainable progress. Whether you're hoping to get healthier, become more consistent with prayer or writing, or simply want a better routine, this episode provides practical advice to help you build habits that last.Top Topics:Why New Year's Resolutions Often FailWe begin by recognizing the common trap of high-intensity resolutions—new planners, intense workouts, strict diets—that often fizzle out by mid-January. This failure isn't about laziness or lack of discipline. It's usually about starting too big, too fast, without any on-ramp or plan for consistency.The Power of Starting SmallSmall steps aren't about lowering your standards—they're about making your goals actually doable. Whether it's reading one page a day, putting on workout clothes without requiring yourself to exercise, or eating one extra vegetable, these steps reduce friction and bypass resistance. Your brain doesn't fight small goals.Consistency Over PerfectionThe core habit matters more than performance. Instead of tracking everything or aiming for high metrics, the focus should be on doing something most days—even if it's small. This creates momentum and makes it easier to jump back in after setbacks.How to Design Sustainable HabitsYou'll learn three practical rules: 1) Start from where you are now. 2) Shrink your habit until it fits your worst day. 3) Separate the habit of practice from perfect performance. It's not about running fast—it's about running consistently and learning what works for you.Making It Work for Your PersonalityDifferent people succeed in different ways. For some, writing goals in a journal is powerful. For others, like Jill, visual cues like post-it notes or image boards throughout the house are more effective. The goal is to find what works best for you—and stick with it.Key Takeaways:Start with one or two areas that would make the biggest difference in your life and build around that. Don't try to fix everything at once. A single paragraph, one prayer, a quick walk, or five minutes of effort can grow into meaningful transformation over time. The real secret? Create habits so small and easy that you'll do them even on your worst days.Focus less on the impressive and more on the consistent. You don't need a perfect plan or a fancy setup—just a realistic, manageable action you're willing to repeat. Start today, start small, and keep going.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational...

Episode 262 – How to Stop Blowing Things Out of ProportionIn this episode, we're talking about something all of us struggle with: keeping perspective. Our minds are wired to detect danger, but that often means we blow small things way out of proportion while simultaneously ignoring real issues that truly deserve our attention. The episode explores how our brains misclassify urgency and importance, and how that can quietly sabotage our peace, health, and even our relationships.From missed emails to health warnings, from unreturned texts to loud notifications, the brain often spirals into stress mode. But not everything is a crisis—and learning how to properly categorize problems can help us avoid unnecessary suffering and focus on what actually matters. This is a learned skill, not a personality trait, and it's one we can all improve with intentional thought and calm practice.The Mind's Misclassification SystemOur brains aren't wired for truth—they're wired for survival. That means we often inflate small inconveniences into full-blown emergencies and ignore critical but quiet signals. Whether it's eye health affected by early diabetes or financial dangers masked by everyday distractions, we learn how to distinguish real threats from perceived ones.The Urgent vs Important GridDrawing from frameworks like the Franklin-Covey model, the episode shows how urgency often drowns out importance. Trash day might be urgent, but your health may be quietly deteriorating in the background. Learning to prioritize whispering “important” tasks over shouting “urgent” ones can dramatically shift your stress levels.Learning the Art of Proper ScalingBy asking practical questions like “Will this matter in a year?” or “Is this truly irreversible?”, we begin to deflate the balloon of anxiety. Most so-called catastrophes are just discomforts in disguise. The power of reframing through small questions and honest labeling is highlighted as a method to regain peace and focus.Physical and Emotional Reset TechniquesCrisis often feels like chaos, but many stress reactions can be calmed with simple physical resets—taking a walk, unclenching your jaw, or breathing deeply. Physical grounding helps mental recalibration and reduces exaggerated thinking.Using Repairability and Delayed JudgmentOne powerful trick: delay the conclusion. Just because something feels overwhelming now doesn't mean it's permanent. Asking “Is this repairable?” and “What's the next best step?” helps avoid spiraling and puts situations back into manageable scope.

The Doors of Possibility – Living with the Gift of MaybeIn this episode, I explore how uncertainty, instead of being our enemy, can actually be our greatest source of growth. Inspired by The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen, I reflect on how we can shift our mindset from fear and rigidity to curiosity and openness—one small step at a time.I share a few tools that have changed my life, especially when facing uncertainty or big decisions. These aren't complex frameworks but simple, powerful mental exercises that invite peace, clarity, and even joy into difficult or confusing situations.Top Topics DiscussedThe Door of VisualizationI explain how imagining life decisions as “doors” can give us clarity we didn't even know we had. Our bodies often know what we want before our minds do. This tool helps us listen to that inner wisdom.The Elevator of MaybeWhen things feel overwhelming, this mental image of an elevator gives us a pause from overthinking. It's a neutral space—where no assumptions exist—and it helps us return to the present moment.Breaking the Routine with Small ShiftsSometimes, it's not about grand gestures. I share how changing my morning routine opened up more joy and freedom in my life. Tiny acts of “maybe” lead to massive internal change.The Possibility JournalI talk about how this tool helps track “what if” experiments in life, from trying new habits to breaking old thought patterns. It's a gentle, low-pressure way to embrace growth.TakeawaysThe biggest takeaway from this episode is that we don't need to have all the answers. Life is unpredictable. But within that unpredictability lies opportunity. When we stop catastrophizing and start experimenting—even a little—we invite transformation.Fear is often loud, but it isn't always true. Maybe helps us pause, breathe, and take the next small step. Whether you're starting something new or stuck in a familiar loop, just asking “what if” can be the beginning of a better path.The tools shared in this episode—doors, elevators, journals—are just ways to bring more awareness to our thoughts and feelings. They're invitations to stop running from uncertainty and start living within it, fully and with hope.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

The Shadow Isn't the Monster: Embracing the Gift of MaybeIn this episode, we explore the emotional toll of uncertainty and how it often tricks us into believing disaster is inevitable. But what if the worst-case scenario isn't guaranteed? What if uncertainty isn't the enemy, but a doorway to possibility?We reflect on The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen and how a single word—“maybe”—can shift the way we handle fear and the unknown. Through a deeply personal story of a cancer scare, we see how even the most terrifying experiences can lead to unexpectedly positive outcomes.How Fear Amplifies UncertaintyFear takes small problems and casts them as massive threats. This discussion opens with relatable examples—like horror movie shadows—to show how our minds exaggerate what we don't understand.Overplanning and the Illusion of ControlWe often try to outrun fear by planning every possible outcome. But all the preparation in the world doesn't ease uncertainty. It just makes us live the fear twice.“Maybe” as a Mental ResetInspired by The Gift of Maybe, we explore how using the word “maybe” softens negative thinking and creates space for hope without forcing optimism.Challenging Your Inner NarratorThat dramatic voice in your head predicting doom? It's not always telling the truth. We talk about how to gently challenge it and ask the simple but profound question: “Are you sure?”Takeaways:When we stop trying to be certain and start allowing space for the unknown, we give life a chance to surprise us. Maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. Maybe there's a better ending ahead. Maybe, just maybe, you don't know the whole story yet.Let's start doubting our doubts. Let's start listening less to the fear-driven narrator and more to possibility. After all, most of the blessings in life didn't come from certainty—they came from the unexpected.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Escaping the Certainty Trap: Revisiting “The Gift of Maybe”In this episode, I explore how the desire for comfort and security can slowly become a trap. Inspired by The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen, this story is both personal and universal—how striving for a safe life can quietly limit our growth, and how a single word—“maybe”—can help us shift our mindset, challenge our fear, and open up to new possibilities.I reflect on my own life, particularly how after years of chaos in my childhood, I worked hard to create a life of comfort: a stable job, predictable routines, a peaceful home. But when faced with a seemingly perfect job opportunity, I froze. The change triggered panic, not because it was wrong, but because it threatened my carefully controlled world.That's when The Gift of Maybe entered my life. What started as a book I planned to review for the podcast unexpectedly turned into a mirror I wasn't prepared to look into. The author's story mirrored mine—how unexpected change can become transformative, even when it first feels like loss.Comfort as a Hidden Trap:Comfort can build slowly, through routines and security, until it becomes a prison of predictability. I explore how this happened in my own life and how I didn't notice it creeping in until change knocked on the door.Addiction to Certainty:Certainty feels safe, but it's an illusion. I discuss how we can become overly attached to control, resisting anything that disrupts our expectations—even when it's a good thing.The Power of “Maybe”:The word “maybe” isn't indecision—it's possibility. Inspired by Allison Carmen's work, I talk about how shifting our mindset can help us embrace change without fear.Takeaways from the Episode:This episode is a reminder that certainty isn't always the prize we think it is. When we cling too tightly to stability, we shrink our world. “Maybe” gives us the space to grow again. It's okay to feel fear, but don't let it make your life smaller. You can take small, brave steps toward a more expansive life.If your life feels safe but stagnant, maybe it's time to consider what possibilities you've been avoiding—and maybe, just maybe, it's time to say yes to something new.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Feel Better in Five: Small Changes That Make a Big DifferenceIn this episode, we're revisiting the powerful teachings from Feel Better in Five by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee. It's a book that has resonated deeply because of its practical, compassionate approach to health. Instead of aiming for massive lifestyle overhauls, Chatterjee introduces a system of five-minute “health snacks”—simple, actionable steps that make caring for your mind, body, and heart accessible to everyone.The Health Snack PhilosophyWe break down the core concept of health snacks—tiny five-minute actions designed to reduce stress, improve focus, and boost energy. These aren't big changes, but they're consistent, achievable steps that can truly shift your well-being over time.Three Pillars of Well-Being: Mind, Body, HeartThis episode explores how wellness isn't just about physical fitness. We look at how small practices—like deep breathing, stretching, or emotional check-ins—can rejuvenate not just the body, but also your mental clarity and emotional resilience.Health Recipes and CustomizationDr. Chatterjee's idea of “recipes” that combine mind, body, and heart actions is a game-changer. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, low energy, or back pain, pairing specific actions together creates powerful results. And you're encouraged to create your own.Practical Applications in Daily LifeFrom watching calming nature videos to going for quick walks, we talk about real-life examples of how these tiny practices can become sustainable habits. The point isn't to be perfect—it's to be present and intentional.Takeaways:This episode is a reminder that taking care of yourself doesn't require a gym membership or a full-day retreat. It can start with five mindful minutes. By embracing small actions and dropping perfectionism, you build momentum and confidence in your ability to support your health.You'll come away with ideas for crafting your own personal “health snack” routine, recognizing patterns in your day when a quick mental, physical, or emotional reset can make a real difference. This isn't about doing everything right—it's about doing something kind for yourself, every day.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

RESTART: How to Reignite Momentum When You've Lost Your NerveIn this episode, we explore a very real and universal experience—losing steam on a project, a goal, or a dream. Whether it's due to fear, exhaustion, confusion, or just plain overwhelm, everyone has hit that point where moving forward feels impossible. But the good news? You can restart. And often, it just takes one tiny step.I unpack the RESTART framework—an empowering, practical strategy to help you reignite your spark and build momentum again. From managing friction to overcoming fear, we talk about the small actions that lead to big changes.Why Momentum Fades:We explore the psychology behind lost momentum—why motivation disappears and how friction, fear, and confusion contribute to project paralysis.The RESTART Framework:Each letter of RESTART offers a practical strategy. We discuss removing shame, identifying friction, and starting with the smallest possible steps to build back energy.Fear and the Brain:Fear isn't just psychological—it's biological. Learn how your nervous system responds to pressure and why creativity shuts down when fear kicks in.Real Life Example – The Patio Story:I share a personal story about building a patio—how excitement turned into fear, and how micro-steps helped me finish. This illustrates that even big wins start small.Tools for Courage:We explore how to shrink big fears into manageable steps, how to build courage like a muscle, and how to normalize fear as a signal of meaningful work.Takeaways:Momentum doesn't die—it erodes. But action rebuilds it. Shame, fear, and perfectionism often pose as valid reasons to stop, but they're just signs that something matters. Starting small, building in rewards, adjusting expectations, and getting accountability can create powerful forward movement.Remember: You're not behind, you're between chapters. Restarting isn't weakness—it's wisdom. And courage isn't a trait you're born with—it's something you can grow. Today might be your day to light the match and begin again.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

The Real Power of Rest: Why Doing Less Helps You Do MoreThis episode unpacks the misunderstood art of rest—not just as a break from work but as a crucial practice for mental clarity, emotional balance, and true productivity. It explores why rest is not the opposite of work, but its most powerful ally. From neuroscience to spirituality, we uncover seven distinct types of rest and how each one revitalizes a different part of who we are.:Why Hustle Culture Is Failing Us:The myth of working yourself to the bone is debunked with research from top universities. More hours ≠ better output. Instead, diminishing returns kick in quickly.The 7 Types of Rest:Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith's framework breaks down rest into physical, mental, emotional, social, sensory, creative, and spiritual. Each meets a different human need.The Science Behind Micro-Rest:Our brains are wired for 90-minute work cycles. Taking breaks isn't lazy—it's neuroscience. Tools like Welltory and heart rate variability data prove it.Rest as Sacred Practice:Exploring how rest ties into spiritual traditions, including the Sabbath and forest bathing. Rest is a divine invitation to stop and just be.Takeaways:Rest is not earned—it's essential. From daily “rest snacks” to monthly digital Sabbaths, you can start small. Even five quiet minutes matter. Whether you're a high-performing professional, a parent juggling chaos, or someone in recovery from burnout, intentional rest can restore clarity, renew energy, and bring joy back into your routine. Rest is not a weakness—it's a strength disguised as stillness.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

From Chaos to Calm: The Life-Changing Power of Macro OrganizationMacro-Organizing Your Life: One Zone at a Time"This episode explores the transformative power of macro-organization—a practical, no-shame approach to tackling clutter by assigning every space a clear purpose. Clutter often accumulates not from laziness, but from emotional overwhelm, decision fatigue, and fear of not being prepared. Whether it's a home filled with duplicate umbrellas or a kitchen too chaotic to cook in, clutter can steal peace, productivity, and self-confidence. This episode offers a roadmap for reclaiming space, rebuilding self-trust, and simplifying life—one room, one drawer, one purpose at a time.Understanding Emotional Clutter: Clutter is often tied to emotional habits, such as scarcity thinking or attachment to past versions of ourselves. Many people hold onto items for a “someday” that may never come, or to avoid the fear of needing something later and not having it.Why Decluttering Often Fails: Traditional item-by-item approaches, like asking if an object “sparks joy,” can lead to decision fatigue. This episode breaks down why people get stuck in the sorting process and how macro-categorization can simplify everything.The Power of Macro-Organization: The episode lays out a system of zoning—assigning each room, closet, and drawer a specific function. Instead of deciding whether to keep something, start by deciding where it belongs. This method reduces mental exhaustion and creates a sense of clarity and control.The Endowment Effect and Future Planning: Many struggle with letting go of items because they overvalue what they already own. There's also a tendency to plan for hypothetical future selves—whether it's a forgotten craft hobby or emergency prep scenario. The solution? Create a small “someday” box and stay focused on the present.Breaking the Rebuy Cycle: When homes are disorganized, it's common to lose items and rebuy them, leading to more clutter. The episode discusses how clear zones and intentional storage can break this costly and frustrating cycle.Takeaways:Clutter isn't a moral failure—it's often a coping mechanism. Macro-organization is a gentle but powerful way to create structure and restore self-trust. By giving each space a clear identity and grouping items into zones, it becomes easier to locate what's needed and let go of what's not. Progress doesn't require perfection; it simply begins with defining what belongs where. This episode offers both practical tools and compassionate encouragement for anyone overwhelmed by a disordered home and looking to take the first step toward calm and clarity.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for...

Eliminating Noise: The Most Underrated SuperpowerThis episode explores how eliminating noise—mental, digital, physical, and relational—can be one of the most powerful actions for reclaiming peace, clarity, and productivity. In a world overloaded with distractions, learning to say no and prioritize what truly matters is a radical, life-changing skill. Drawing from essentialist thinking and practical personal experiences, this conversation offers tangible steps for identifying noise and removing it to make space for intentional living.The Real Cost of Saying YesEvery yes carries hidden no's. Each commitment, task, or favor accepted often steals time and energy from more important goals. This episode explains how saying yes to one thing means saying no to ten others—often without realizing it.Types of Noise That Distract and DrainNoise isn't just sound—it's everything that crowds mental and emotional bandwidth. From the hum of digital notifications to unfinished house projects and emotional overcommitments, the discussion breaks down four types of noise: physical, digital, mental, and relational.Living by Design, Not by DefaultInspired by the book Essentialism by Greg McKeown, this episode highlights the importance of intentional decision-making. It covers how to move from “I have to” to “I choose to,” and the value of editing life rather than constantly adding to it.The Three-List Declutter StrategyAn actionable method is introduced for sorting life's tasks into three buckets: must-dos, nice-to-haves, and noise. This simple framework helps identify what truly adds value—and what to let go.The Danger of Good-Looking DistractionsNot all noise is obviously bad. Some things look productive or enjoyable but dilute focus. Through the Warren Buffett 5/25 rule, the episode challenges listeners to eliminate even good goals if they aren't in the top five.Takeaways:Eliminating noise doesn't mean rejecting life—it means choosing the life that matters most. Peace and clarity come from removing what's unnecessary to make room for what truly moves the needle. Whether it's unsubscribing from emails, offloading technical responsibilities, or redefining priorities, the process begins with awareness.This episode encourages listeners to take just one small step: say no, delegate, delete, or simply pause. Silence and focus are not luxuries—they're tools for living a meaningful, less chaotic life. The power lies not in doing more, but in doing the right things with presence and purpose.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take...

In this episode, we talk about the struggle of having real conversations in an age of division. Whether it's politics, work, or family, disagreement often leads to shutdowns, defensiveness, or even broken relationships. But what if the answer isn't more arguing — it's better listening?Why Conversations Feel So Risky NowMany people avoid controversial topics because disagreements often escalate quickly. The episode explores how modern communication habits have trained us to defend rather than understand.The Science of DefensivenessOur brains treat opposing opinions as threats. This leads to "identity protective cognition," where facts become secondary to protecting group identity.The Impact of ListeningResearch shows people feel just as validated when they're truly heard as when they receive praise. Listening can build trust, empathy, and even help solve complex problems.Examples from Real LifeFrom a workplace story about innovation resistance to a thoughtful discussion about AI and career development, we see how openness to dialogue can create real learning.Tools for Better ListeningSimple actions like pausing before responding, using clarifying language, and being aware of body language can make a huge difference in conversations.Takeaways:Listening doesn't mean you give up your views — it means you're making space for understanding. When you do that, relationships improve, innovation happens, and solutions emerge where there once were only arguments. This episode is a call to rethink how we respond, especially in moments of disagreement. By focusing on curiosity over confrontation, we can start building bridges instead of walls.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

The Lost Skill: How to Truly Listen in a Noisy WorldIn this episode, we explore the powerful, yet often forgotten skill of active listening. With so many voices competing for our attention, it's easy to forget how much listening really matters. From relationships to leadership, personal growth to mental health, being fully present with another person can change everything.I talk about why listening is disappearing in our hyper-connected world, how technology has both enabled and undermined our attention spans, and share stories that illustrate the real-life cost of inattentiveness. I also give actionable tools and techniques for becoming a better listener, even if you're busy, distracted, or naturally talkative.Why Listening Feels Impossible Today:We live in an era of constant input. Podcasts, texts, videos—our minds are flooded. This makes deep, personal listening feel like a lost art. I discuss how attention is fragmented, and how this affects our relationships and emotional connections.The Myth of the Good Listener:Most people believe they're good listeners, but research shows otherwise. I explore the science behind poor listening and why memory and attention are often at odds with perception.Technology's Role in Half-Presence:I share examples of how smartphones and smartwatches create semi-presence in conversations and how even our pets can detect when we aren't fully there.Practical Steps for Active Listening:Learn simple, concrete steps to build the muscle of listening: pausing before replying, reflecting feelings back, asking open questions, and using affirming body language.Key Takeaways:Listening is a powerful skill, but one we often ignore. By choosing to pause, reflect, and ask instead of speak, we create space for real connection. Active listening is not just about being quiet—it's about showing up with intention and presence. You don't need to overhaul your personality to become a better listener—just pick one or two small habits and grow from there. In a distracted world, being someone who truly listens is a gift—to others and to yourself.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

How to Find Your Ikigai and Live with PurposeIn this episode, we explore the powerful and practical Japanese concept of ikigai—your reason for being. Inspired by the book How to Ikigai by Tim Tamashiro, this conversation shares how we can all begin the journey of discovering what we truly love, what we're good at, what the world needs, and what we can be paid for.I reflect on my own career path and how moments of confusion, missteps, and trial-and-error eventually led me toward a fulfilling life in healthcare IT—a field I never initially imagined. This process wasn't about quitting everything and starting over, but rather about small experiments and subtle shifts that brought more alignment and joy into my life.Understanding IkigaiIkigai is more than just passion. It's the intersection of what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. It's about creating a balanced and fulfilling life that energizes you daily.Overcoming Fear and Limiting BeliefsWe discuss the real fears that hold people back—like fear of failure, judgment, or financial instability—and how shifting to a growth mindset can open new possibilities.Small Experiments, Big ShiftsInstead of massive life overhauls, we talk about the value of trying small, manageable experiments—especially in your spare time—that help you get closer to your purpose.Looking at Your Past for CluesYour childhood interests, natural talents, and what people ask you for help with can offer valuable clues about your strengths and potential purpose.

"Is Maturity a Superpower?"In this episode, we explore the surprising upside of growing up. Too often, maturity is painted as dull, restrictive, or something to avoid. But this conversation flips the script. Drawing from personal experiences and psychological insights, we look at how maturity actually boosts productivity, strengthens relationships, and helps you build the life you want.1. How Tough Work Environments Build ResilienceThrough a story about working at an intense, high-pressure job, we see how difficulty can become the training ground for lifelong growth. The skills gained—resilience, problem-solving, and composure—are invaluable.2. Emotional and Cognitive MaturityWe examine how our brains evolve, especially the development of the prefrontal cortex, and what that means for decision-making, emotional control, and handling stress. Maturity isn't just about age—it's a neurological and psychological evolution.3. Adulting Isn't All BadPaying bills and doing chores are just the surface. Maturity helps you regulate your emotions, build habits, and make decisions that pay off years later.4. The Power of Delayed GratificationWe talk about why waiting—whether it's saving for a trip or building a career—leads to better outcomes. Mature people trade immediate thrills for future gains.5. Maturity at Work: From Selfish to Team-FocusedWe dig into how mature teams outperform others—not because of raw talent, but because of how they handle mistakes, give feedback, and lower interpersonal friction.Takeaways:Maturity is a gift, not a burden. It empowers you to think clearly, respond calmly, and act strategically.Emotional maturity leads to better productivity and stronger relationships.Social maturity helps teams thrive through collaboration and shared goals.Instead of resisting adulthood, embrace the benefits: resilience, planning, better sleep, and more peace.Personal growth is more about mindset than age. Practicing small steps—like pausing before reacting or reframing failure—can shift everything.If you've ever felt like adulting is a drag, this episode might just change your mind.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

249 - The Surprising Truth About Perfectionism and How to Beat ItBreaking Free from Perfectionism: When Good Enough is BetterIn this episode, we explore how perfectionism silently sabotages our goals, creativity, and happiness. Drawing on insights from Michael J. Fox, John Acuff, and Brené Brown, this episode unpacks the difference between striving for excellence and being trapped by perfectionism. With candid stories and practical advice, it's an honest look at what holds us back and what we can do to finally move forward.Top Topics:1. The Fear Behind PerfectionismWe often confuse perfectionism with high standards, but it's really about fear. Fear of failure, judgment, and shame keeps us stuck in place. Perfectionism doesn't protect us—it isolates us.2. When Quitting Feels Safer Than FinishingMany people stall at 70% of a project—not because they're lazy, but because finishing makes it open to critique. This self-protective move is one of perfectionism's sneakiest tactics.3. Redefining Progress with Realistic GoalsJohn Acuff's advice to “cut your goal in half or double your timeline” is a game-changer. Lowering the bar doesn't mean giving up—it means creating a path to success that actually works.4. Turning Good Enough into a StrategyBy choosing where to place your energy and embracing “strategic incompetence,” you reclaim your focus. Sometimes, a Word doc works just fine. Not everything needs bells and whistles.5. Self-Compassion as the Real Productivity HackBrené Brown reminds us that being kind to ourselves when we're imperfect is more powerful than pushing harder. A little self-love can go a long way.Takeaways:Perfectionism isn't a personality trait—it's a block to growth. Whether it shows up as procrastination, over-planning, or quitting early, its root is fear. The key to overcoming it lies in redefining success, simplifying goals, and replacing criticism with compassion. If we start treating ourselves like we'd treat a friend—with support, grace, and encouragement—we unlock our ability to finish, flourish, and feel proud of the messy, meaningful work we're capable of.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

“You Be You, Boo-Boo” — But Should You?In this episode, I explore the increasingly popular mantra of radical self-expression—“You be you, Boo-Boo”—and ask whether it really serves us, or anyone else. Is total authenticity always a good thing? Or could it sometimes lead to conflict, disconnection, and missed opportunities for deeper relationships?Drawing from personal experiences, faith, historical insights, and observations from work and society, I break down what it really means to be “yourself” in a world that also requires connection, cooperation, and community.Top Topics CoveredAuthenticity vs. AdaptabilityI share how different parts of ourselves are revealed in different settings—and how that's not inauthentic, it's wise. Sometimes, being ourselves means knowing when to connect over shared interests instead of forcing parts of ourselves onto others.The Paradox of ChoiceUnlimited freedom doesn't always bring joy. In fact, the constant demand to self-brand and self-express can lead to anxiety and discontentment. I touch on how this overload of options actually makes life harder, not freer.Faith and FreedomFrom biblical teachings to ancient Rome, I reflect on how many traditions value duty over pure individualism. Christianity teaches freedom with responsibility, where our choices are weighed by how they benefit others.Social Media and the Illusion of IndividualityWe discuss how platforms push conformity under the guise of self-expression. The algorithm rewards sameness, and the result is often curated identities rather than real, unique individuals.Living for OthersThe real takeaway? Use your individuality as a gift. Whether it's cooking, reading, or tech knowledge—bring your strengths outward to serve others. That's where authenticity becomes transformative.Key TakeawaysRadical authenticity, unchecked, can lead to relational damage and societal fragmentation. But balanced authenticity—where we bring our true selves to serve others—builds stronger communities and more fulfilling lives. By contributing instead of just expressing, we discover deeper joy and a more meaningful identity.Being yourself doesn't mean expressing every thought or ignoring social harmony. It means using your gifts for the good of others. One wing is being yourself. The other is service. Together, they let you fly.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

When Life Isn't Fair: Reclaiming Power in a Unfair WorldIn this episode, I explore the blunt reality that life is often unfair—and why that doesn't mean we're powerless. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we always have the power to control how we respond. This conversation is about reclaiming that power, one small step at a time.We talk about how to shift your mindset from helplessness to action, build resilience through tough experiences, and redefine success using your own values—not someone else's scoreboard. Drawing on personal stories, philosophical insights, and practical advice, this episode is both grounded and hopeful.1. Life's Unfairness is UniversalEveryone faces unfair situations—illness, job loss, lack of opportunity—but we all have a say in how we respond. It's not about pretending everything is okay, but choosing action over victimhood.2. Comparison is a Thief of JoyWe tend to compare our struggles with others' successes. But we only see the highlight reel, not the full picture. Creating our own scoreboard frees us from that trap.3. Reframing UnfairnessInstead of asking “Why me?”, the better question is “What now?” By making small, intentional steps, we take back agency and build our path forward.4. Finding Meaning in PainUnfair situations, especially early in life, can forge strength, clarity, and resilience. Personal stories show how difficult moments often become defining ones.5. The Power of Gratitude and CommunityGratitude doesn't negate pain, but it shifts focus. And leaning on others—friends, mentors, spiritual leaders—can lighten the load and help reframe your journey.

In this episode, the discussion centers around how to move forward when life feels overwhelming. The episode challenges the belief that progress requires grand plans and instead introduces a gentler, more effective approach: identifying and taking the next best step. Through practical advice and relatable stories, we explore how small, faithful actions can lead to transformative results.Overwhelm and Decision FatigueThe episode opens by recognizing how overwhelming modern life can feel. With too many choices and responsibilities, our minds get clouded. The key is learning how to shrink our focus and think clearly about just one thing: what's next?The Power of CategoriesBy dividing life into areas like health, work, faith, and relationships, it's easier to pinpoint where we're stuck and what small action would bring the most relief or momentum.Progress vs. PerfectionA powerful reminder: you don't need to have a perfect plan. The goal is to start making progress—no matter how small. Perfectionism can often be disguised procrastination.The Boulder AnalogyAre you moving the boulder, sitting on it, or pushing back? This metaphor helps listeners identify their role in solving (or avoiding) the challenges in front of them.Analyze, Own, and Start NowListeners are guided to analyze their problems, identify strengths and hurdles, and start today—not next week or next month. Ownership and immediacy are central to real change.Takeaways:Progress doesn't have to be dramatic—it just has to be real. By embracing the idea of small, consistent actions, life becomes more manageable. You learn to trust yourself, build momentum, and see your path more clearly. The challenge is to stop overthinking and start doing, even if the first step feels tiny.Ownership is empowering. Even when circumstances are out of our control, we can control how we respond. The secret to success isn't a perfect plan—it's a willingness to act now.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

If You Stay Ready, You Don't Have to Get ReadyReadiness isn't about living in constant alert—it's about designing a life that runs smoothly even when the unexpected happens. This episode explores how building systems, habits, and simple routines can eliminate last-minute stress and open up room for calm, flexibility, and opportunity. Staying ready is an act of self-kindness, not self-discipline.Stress-Free Living Through SystemsHaving go bags, pre-packed kits, and weekly rituals can reduce the pressure of unexpected events. Whether it's travel, work projects, or emergencies, simple preparation brings peace.Why Last-Minute Wins Come at a CostWaiting until the deadline or emergency might feel productive, but it creates drama, reduces quality, and chips away at confidence. Preparation removes panic and prevents mistakes.Professions That Rely on Constant ReadinessFrom pilots to paramedics, success depends on consistent training and flawless routines. The same mindset—checklists, drills, muscle memory—can be applied in everyday life.The Buffer PrincipleTime, energy, and money buffers make space for the unexpected. A little margin built into the day allows for mistakes, delays, or surprises without creating a crisis.Readiness as a Lifestyle, Not a BurdenPacking bags after travel, setting out clothes the night before, or keeping the house visitor-ready isn't about control—it's about making life easier and more joyful.TakeawaysPreparation isn't about being rigid or anxious—it's about giving yourself the freedom to say yes to life's opportunities without scrambling. A packed suitcase, a charged camera, a clean home, or a ready-to-go document isn't about being obsessive—it's about being kind to the version of yourself that has to handle tomorrow. Creating systems, building buffers, and simplifying routines make everyday life feel lighter and more manageable.Being ready means less stress, better sleep, fewer forgotten tasks, and more room for the things that matter. With just one repeatable habit at a time, readiness becomes a source of calm instead of pressure.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Fake It Till You Make It... or Do It Till You True It?In this episode, we challenge one of the most common self-help mantras: “Fake it till you make it.” Instead, we explore a more sustainable, honest, and empowering approach—“Do it until you true it.”Through personal stories, psychological insight, and practical advice, we break down why faking confidence can sometimes do more harm than good, and how small steps can lead to real transformation.Top Topics Covered:The Problem with Faking It: We talk about how pretending to know something can lead to broken trust, missed opportunities, and internal stress, especially when the stakes are high.The Power of Small Steps: Real confidence is earned through repeated actions. Whether it's learning first aid or public speaking, each small action builds a foundation for long-term success.Psychological Frameworks: We explore concepts like cognitive behavioral theory, James-Lange theory, and Bandura's idea of self-efficacy to support why behavior can shape belief.Honesty vs. Performance: There's a fine line between boldness and deception. We discuss how to be honest about your capabilities while still stepping up to new challenges.Takeaways:This episode reminds us that confidence isn't a magic switch—it's something you build. You don't need to fake your way into anything. You just need to take the next honest, actionable step. Whether you're tackling a new role at work, facing anxiety, or just trying to grow in life, the habit of small, intentional actions will carry you farther than any performance ever could. “Do it until you true it” means showing up, learning, growing—and in time, becoming the kind of person you once only hoped to be.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

In this episode, I share the life-changing power of personal guardrails and why understanding our bandwidth is essential for building a balanced life. I explore how growing up with minimal rules, dealing with ADHD, and navigating family addiction history led me to build boundaries that have saved me from burnout, addiction, and overwork. I walk through practical ways to design a lifestyle where structure supports — rather than stifles — freedom.What Are Guardrails and Why We Need Them?I use personal stories to explain the concept of guardrails — voluntary boundaries we create to protect our time, energy, health, and relationships. From childhood freedom to self-imposed limits, I show how these rails have guided me back from the brink more than once.Understanding BandwidthBandwidth is our capacity: physical, emotional, mental. I talk about how to recognize your own limits and the importance of honoring them to avoid stress, anxiety, or collapse.Real-Life Guardrail ExamplesFrom no-snack-after-6PM rules to time-blocking calendars, I give practical examples of how to set guardrails in areas like health, work, finances, digital use, and family dynamics.Creating Healthy Digital HabitsI talk about curating your social media, staying out of algorithmic rabbit holes, and replacing tech-driven anxiety with intentional engagement.Spiritual Guardrails and Sacred TimeGuardrails aren't just practical — they can also be spiritual. I explain how sabbaticals, quiet time with God, and sleep routines contribute to a deeper, more centered life.

In this episode, I share how learning one core skill—discipline—through weight loss ended up transforming far more than just my health. It changed how I handled money, how I managed time, and how I dealt with emotional impulses. The surprising truth is that success in one area can spill over into every part of life—if we recognize the pattern and reuse it.Top Topics Covered:Transferring Skills from One Area to AnotherI talk about how the process of losing weight—tracking food, resisting emotional eating, staying focused—taught me the same principles I needed for budgeting and other goals. Once I saw that the structure I used for health could be used for money, time, and attention, everything began to shift.How Emotional Impulses Drive Daily DecisionsA lot of the choices I made—like eating or spending—weren't based on logic. They were reactions to stress or boredom. I reflect on how I used to live in “drone mode,” responding to emotions instead of real needs. Learning to pause and ask, “Do I really need this?” became one of the most powerful tools I picked up.You're Already More Disciplined Than You ThinkPeople often believe they're just not naturally disciplined. But I've found that nearly everyone has at least one area in life where they were focused and committed. Maybe it was music, sports, or school. I explain how identifying those moments can help you rebuild discipline where you need it most right now.Working With ADHD and Building Mental AnchorsAs someone with ADHD, I've had to build structures to help me stay on track. Forgetting goals was a big problem—until I started using tools like tracking, setting reminders, and celebrating small wins. These small shifts helped me stay connected to what really mattered.Takeaways:This episode is a reminder that your past successes aren't isolated wins—they're blueprints. If you've ever followed through on anything, you already know how to build habits, stay focused, and achieve goals. The challenge is taking what worked and applying it somewhere new. You don't need to reinvent yourself—you just need to reuse the systems that already helped you succeed. The same discipline, tracking, and mindset can apply to health, money, time, or any area you want to improve.Thanks for listening—and if there's something in your life you've already mastered, think about how you can let it guide the rest.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

In this episode, I reflect on a powerful idea that has reshaped how I approach anxiety and overthinking: we spend too much time fighting ghosts and dragons—imaginary fears and situations that never actually happen. By sharing personal stories and experiences, I explore how these invisible battles drain our energy, damage our mental health, and distract us from solving real problems in life.1. Understanding What Ghosts and Dragons Really AreThese are the thoughts and fears that don't have a basis in reality. They're the assumptions, the “what ifs,” and worst-case scenarios we invent in our minds. Whether it's an old trauma or a new worry, these ghosts keep us on edge and steal our peace.2. The Cost of Fighting the Wrong BattlesFighting imaginary dangers leads to emotional burnout, missed opportunities, and even strained relationships. When you prepare for problems that don't exist, you waste the energy you need for what actually matters.3. Strategies for Letting GoI share several practical tools: labeling fears with silly names, journaling to find patterns, asking grounding questions, and taking small steps to focus on the real world. These methods help interrupt the pattern of overthinking.4. Faith, Stoicism, and ReframingWhether it's a verse from Matthew or a quote from Epictetus, I talk about how different philosophies help us accept what's real and reject what isn't. Our brains are wired to detect threats, but that doesn't mean every alert is valid.Takeaways:If you're feeling anxious about a situation, ask yourself: is it really happening, or is it just a ghost? Stop wasting energy on things that will never happen. You don't need to fight every scary thought. Label it, laugh at it if you can, and walk away. Focus on what's true, take small actions that make you feel safer, and trust that today's real worries are enough without borrowing tomorrow's. The path to peace starts with acknowledging how much power you give to the imaginary.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

This episode explores the critical question: When is the right time to seek help? For many, asking for support feels like surrendering control—but in reality, it's one of the most powerful steps toward progress. This conversation walks through the emotional challenges of seeking help and the practical strategies for building a support network. From everyday advice to professional resources, it reveals how support systems—big and small—can change lives, one step at a time.Understanding the Misconceptions About HelpFor years, the belief that self-reliance was the only path forward kept many people from reaching out. But beneath the surface of most success stories lies a foundation of support—whether from friends, family, mentors, or strangers. This episode explores how that mindset can shift and how recognizing past help can open the door to future growth.Finding Help in Unexpected PlacesSupport doesn't always come from therapists or close family. It can come from a coworker, a fitness trainer, a teacher, or a local church leader. The key is identifying the right person for the right problem, even if there isn't a deep relationship. Sometimes, an outside perspective can make all the difference.Professional and Community Resources Available TodayTherapists, nutritionists, life coaches, financial counselors, and even librarians can be lifelines. This episode outlines where to look, how to approach them, and what kinds of issues each resource can help solve. Community-based options like nonprofits, support groups, and crisis lines are also highlighted.Digital Tools for Modern SupportFrom Reddit and Facebook groups to apps like BetterHelp, Calm, and Woebot, there's a world of support online for everything from mental health to productivity. While these can't replace in-person support for serious issues, they can be powerful tools to get unstuck, especially when used alongside other resources.Recognizing the Right Time to AskWhether facing financial stress, emotional burnout, or life transitions, waiting for a crisis isn't the best strategy. Early support can prevent deeper struggles. This episode encourages listeners to act before things break down—and offers suggestions for how to start that journey with small, intentional steps.Takeaways:Getting help isn't about weakness—it's about wisdom. Everyone gets stuck at times, and there's no shame in reaching out for advice, clarity, or encouragement. Whether through a trusted friend, a trained professional, or a community program, there's always a path forward. Being willing to ask can not only resolve a problem—it can also build connection, confidence, and resilience. The challenge is simple but powerful: identify where you feel stuck, and ask the right person to help you take the next step.Jill's Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes...

What Time Management Style Works for You?This episode explores the concept that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to productivity. Time management is deeply personal, and understanding which system aligns with individual energy levels and task preferences is key to long-term success.The episode outlines two core time management styles: deep work and task variety. Rather than prescribing a strict method, it offers a balanced perspective that helps listeners evaluate which strategy best suits their natural rhythm, workload, and environment.

238 - The Power of Pause: Gaining Clarity in Emotional Moments In this episode, we explore why it's so difficult to see clearly when we're in the midst of life's challenges. Whether it's a career issue, relationship conflict, or emotional setback, the pressure of the moment often clouds our judgment. I break down how our brains fill in gaps with fear-based stories and share strategies to pause, reflect, and gain better perspective before making big decisions. Why We Can't See Clearly in the MomentWhen life is overwhelming, our brains tend to create distorted narratives to fill in missing information. I share why these stories can mislead us and how they often come from a place of fear. Cognitive Distortions and Mental ShortcutsLearn about the mental traps we fall into—like catastrophizing or mind-reading—and how they can lead us to the wrong conclusions about people or events. The Viktor Frankl PauseBetween a triggering event and our reaction, there's a pause. And that's where our power lies. I explore how using this space wisely can shift everything. Making Micro-Decisions in a VUCA WorldLife is uncertain, and acting too quickly can backfire. I talk about making the smallest decision possible in moments of stress so you can gather more information first. Takeaways:In the middle of tough times, it's okay not to know what to do. The key is to slow down, ask better questions, and create space for clarity. Whether it's journaling, talking to someone you trust, or writing a future-self letter, these practices help you reframe and reset. You're not failing because you don't have the answers—you're just in the fog. And with patience, the path will become clear again. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/238-the-power-of-pause-gaining-clarity-in-emotional-moments/ Jill's Linkshttps://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJilldayhttps://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAIhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

237 - Not Everyone Will Like You—And That's Ok This episode tackles a challenge everyone faces at some point—being disliked. It explores the emotional weight of rejection, the societal pressure to be universally liked, and the deeper roots of approval-seeking behavior. With a thoughtful and honest tone, the episode encourages listeners to shift their focus from people-pleasing to authentic self-worth. The Illusion of Being Universally Liked:The episode opens with the acknowledgment that not everyone will approve of who we are or what we do. Even highly admired figures in history faced rejection. This segment reframes disapproval as a normal, even expected, part of life rather than a personal failure. Why Rejection Hurts So Much:Delving into childhood conditioning and the human need for safety through belonging, the podcast highlights how deeply rooted the desire for approval can be. Listeners are encouraged to examine how this shows up in their adult lives and consider how it affects their emotional well-being. The Hidden Gift in Being Disliked:Rather than viewing rejection as purely negative, the episode presents it as a potential catalyst for growth. Whether it prompts reflection or redirects a path, disapproval can help clarify values, strengthen personal boundaries, and lead to greater self-awareness. Navigating Feedback with Discernment:Not all criticism is created equal. The host shares how to sift through feedback—accepting what is constructive and discarding what is based on misunderstanding or projection. This topic includes stories and examples that highlight the difference between helpful insight and harmful opinion. Living Authentically Instead of Performing:One of the core messages is the importance of letting go of the need to be liked by everyone. The episode offers practical encouragement for building emotional resilience, developing strong internal identity, and focusing on approval that truly matters—one's own and, for those with faith, divine approval. Takeaways: Being disliked is not a crisis but an opportunity for reflection and freedom. The pursuit of universal approval often leads to emotional exhaustion and identity loss. Instead, standing in one's truth—even when it invites criticism—creates space for authenticity, meaningful relationships, and personal peace. The episode encourages setting boundaries, evaluating feedback with wisdom, and embracing the truth that not being for everyone is a sign of individuality, not failure. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/237-not-everyone-will-like-you-and-thats-ok/ Jill's Linkshttps://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJilldayhttps://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAIhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or...

236 - Be Brave and Find True Belonging In this episode, I unpack Brene Brown's compelling book Braving the Wilderness, using my personal experiences to explore the deep emotional terrain of authenticity, courage, and true belonging. Top Topics: The Real Meaning of Bravery: I reflect on my childhood concept of bravery—being physically courageous but emotionally cautious—and how that evolved through reading Brene Brown's work. The Freedom of Not Fitting In: Inspired by Maya Angelou's quote, I explore how the need to belong often holds us back from being our true selves and how letting go of that need can be liberating. Practical Steps to Braving the Wilderness: I break down Brene's four practices—seeing others up close, speaking truth civilly, connecting through shared humanity, and cultivating a strong but open heart. Personal Reflections on Approval-Seeking: From choosing conference outfits to forming relationships, I share how striving for acceptance has shaped my actions—and what it means to let go of that. Takeaways: The wilderness Brene Brown speaks of isn't about isolation—it's the powerful space where we stop molding ourselves for acceptance and start living in truth. This episode encourages you to look at the places in your life where you're trying to impress others and ask: what would it look like to just be you? When we bravely step into discomfort and stand firm in our values, we stop needing to fit in—because we finally belong to ourselves. Being vulnerable and honest isn't weakness; it's the ultimate strength. Whether in a boardroom, a relationship, or a quiet moment alone, showing up as your true self is the real victory. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/236-be-brave-and-find-true-belonging/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

235 - Forgiveness Is Freedom In this episode, the focus is on the profound and often misunderstood act of forgiveness. Exploring the concept through personal stories and insights from the book Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall, the discussion centers on why forgiveness is not about excusing harmful behavior or forgetting the pain, but about releasing ourselves from the grip of bitterness and resentment. This episode offers a heartfelt, honest reflection on what it really means to forgive—and how doing so can bring true freedom and healing. Top Topics: What Forgiveness Really MeansForgiveness is not about saying “it's okay” or brushing past serious hurt. It's about choosing to stop desiring revenge and instead letting go of the emotional control the past has over us. The episode defines forgiveness as no longer wanting punishment for the offender, but rather handing over justice to a higher power or moral compass. The Pain Behind the Need to ForgiveA personal backdrop of childhood neglect and family addiction reveals how deep-seated pain can evolve into lasting resentment. Understanding the origins of this pain, including the generational patterns and addictive behaviors involved, provides important context for why forgiveness is essential—not for the offender, but for personal healing. Steps Toward True ForgivenessListeners are guided through practical steps to begin forgiving: acknowledging the pain, making a conscious decision to forgive, refraining from rehearsing the hurt, and even praying or wishing good for the person who caused harm. These steps are presented not as quick fixes, but as meaningful choices that open the door to lasting emotional freedom. Forgiving Without ReconciliationAn important clarification is made: forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. Sometimes, it's healthier and safer not to reestablish a relationship. Forgiveness is about finding peace within oneself, regardless of the other person's actions or attitude. Dealing with Disappointment in GodThe episode also touches on the spiritual challenge of feeling let down by God in times of suffering. By choosing to forgive even this divine disappointment, deeper trust and healing are possible. Takeaways: Forgiveness is ultimately a gift to oneself. Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison meant for someone else. It harms the one who carries it more than anyone else. Letting go is not easy, and it may feel unnatural at first—but it leads to emotional clarity, freedom, and peace. Forgiveness is not weakness; it's one of the bravest things a person can do. Whether the offender ever apologizes or changes, the choice to forgive allows the heart to move forward and begin to heal. Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

234 - The Secret to Lasting Change: It's Not Willpower! In this episode, I talk about the real reasons we struggle with making progress on our goals — and how to fix it. Inspired by the powerful metaphors from “The Happiness Hypothesis” and “Switch,” I explore how the mind is like a rational Rider trying to steer an emotional Elephant along a winding Path. When we learn how to motivate our Elephant, direct our Rider, and clear the Path, meaningful change becomes not only possible but enjoyable. Understanding the Rider and ElephantWe often think our failure to follow through is due to laziness, but it's more about a conflict between emotion and logic. I explain how the Elephant (our emotions) tends to resist change while the Rider (our planner) gets stuck in overthinking. Motivating the Emotional SideFear doesn't move the Elephant — hope and small wins do. I share how reframing goals and celebrating tiny milestones can energize you to keep going. It's about making the process exciting and worthwhile. Giving the Rider DirectionToo many options lead to paralysis. I talk about choice architecture — creating pre-decisions that make action simpler, like scheduled workouts or limited food choices. When the Rider has a clear map, it stops stalling. Making the Path EasyWe need an environment that supports our goals. That means setting out gym clothes, automating finances, or prepping for quick getaways. These routines eliminate friction and help us act automatically. Visualizing the FutureOne of my favorite tools: the “postcard from the future.” I use AI to generate vivid images of my goals realized, which I keep visible in my space. They remind me why I'm doing the hard things. Rallying the HerdSupport is crucial. If friends and family aren't on board, online groups can be life-changing. When we surround ourselves with others chasing similar goals, their momentum lifts us up too. Takeaways:You don't need more discipline. You need a better system — one that motivates your emotions, guides your plans, and clears your path. Every step forward starts with understanding how your mind works and building an environment that makes change easier. It's not about giant leaps. It's about small, consistent wins that make you feel capable and confident. Keep your eye on the vision, celebrate each win, and know that you've got this. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/234-the-secret-to-lasting-change-its-not-willpower/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

233 - Tests to Understand What Makes Us Tick Understanding personal motivation and behavior is one of the most powerful tools for self-improvement. This episode explores how personality tests can offer practical insight into how people work, what energizes them, and why certain strategies succeed where others fail. It's not about putting people into boxes—it's about using patterns and traits as clues to navigate life more effectively. Top Topics: Recognizing Behavioral PatternsEveryone has habits and responses that repeat, often without noticing. Personality assessments help bring those patterns into focus. By observing what consistently works—and what doesn't—it's possible to better understand tendencies, motivations, and blind spots. That kind of clarity opens the door to intentional, sustainable change. How Myers-Briggs Transforms RelationshipsOne of the most widely known assessments, Myers-Briggs can offer insights into how people process information, make decisions, and interact with others. Learning to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses in different personality types leads to deeper understanding and stronger connections, especially in friendships and partnerships with contrasting traits. The Four Tendencies: Motivation in FocusDeveloped by Gretchen Rubin, the Four Tendencies framework identifies how people respond to expectations—both external and internal. Recognizing whether someone is an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel makes it easier to build effective habits and avoid frustration. For many, it's the missing piece in understanding why traditional advice doesn't always work. StrengthsFinder and the Value of Self-Knowledge at WorkStrengthsFinder identifies what people naturally do best. Knowing whether someone thrives in problem-solving, communication, learning, or leadership roles allows for smarter career decisions and more effective teamwork. It shifts the focus from fixing weaknesses to building on existing strengths. Exploring the Landscape of Personality ToolsBeyond the big names, several other tools—such as the Big Five, Enneagram, DISC, and Hogan assessments—offer additional layers of insight. Each test highlights different aspects of personality, from emotional stability to core values and work preferences. Understanding how these assessments differ helps in selecting the right tool for personal or professional growth. Takeaways: Personality tests are more than entertaining quizzes—they can be transformative frameworks for self-awareness. Knowing how someone responds to pressure, what drives their behavior, and where they naturally excel provides a roadmap for making better decisions, reducing friction in relationships, and achieving goals more effectively. Rather than guessing or mimicking someone else's approach, these insights allow for tailored strategies that align with how a person actually operates. When people understand what makes them tick, they can stop fighting their nature and start building lives that truly fit. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/what-makes-us-tick-using-personality-tests-to-understand/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

232 - Owning Your Weak Spots This episode unpacks a powerful but often overlooked concept: the value of understanding personal weaknesses. While much is said about knowing and building on strengths, there's equal—if not greater—wisdom in recognizing the areas where performance or comfort naturally dips. This conversation explores how that self-knowledge can protect against missteps, accelerate growth, strengthen relationships, and create guardrails for personal and professional life. 1. The Danger of Ignoring WeaknessesAvoiding weaknesses doesn't eliminate them. Instead, they lurk in the background, ready to sabotage progress. Identifying them allows for awareness and intentional choices. 2. Patterns That Reveal TruthBehavioral patterns—like procrastination or avoidance—often reveal underlying weaknesses. These patterns can be clues to areas that need reflection and potential growth. 3. Growth through Targeted ActionOnce weaknesses are acknowledged, it becomes possible to improve with focus. Whether it's through systems, education, or tools, targeting a weakness leads to faster, more sustainable progress. 4. Healthy Collaboration and BoundariesHonesty about limitations fosters trust. Asking for help, seeking feedback, or teaming up with complementary strengths builds strong working and personal relationships. 5. Knowing What to Fix—and What to DropNot all weaknesses need to be “fixed.” Some can be left alone if they don't significantly impact life or work. It's about knowing where energy is worth spending. Takeaways: Recognizing weaknesses doesn't mean failure—it opens the door to smarter decisions, better alignment, and sustainable productivity. Whether it's choosing roles that align with strengths or avoiding burnout by declining the wrong fit, this kind of self-awareness is invaluable. Emotional honesty, strategic support, and thoughtful reflection can transform weaknesses from hidden liabilities into manageable realities. The goal isn't perfection—it's clarity, confidence, and growth on your own terms. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/232-owning-your-weak-spots/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

231 - From Struggle to Strength In this episode of Start With Small Steps, I share the deeply personal and transformative journey of understanding and owning my strengths. From childhood frustrations with writing to discovering a passion for math and science, I talk about how recognizing what you're naturally good at can shape your entire path forward. The Power of Knowing Your Strengths:Growing up, I learned the hard way that forcing yourself to be good at everything leads to frustration. Once I accepted that writing wasn't my strength and that I lit up around science and math, my entire academic and career trajectory improved. Knowing your strengths isn't about limitation—it's about focus. Interest vs. Ability:I talk about how true success comes when interest meets ability. You might love a hobby, but if it doesn't match your strengths, it can drain rather than energize you. I explain how to distinguish between fleeting passions and lasting competencies. Feedback and Assessment Tools:Friends and coworkers revealed strengths I didn't even know I had. Tools like the Clifton Strengths Finder and High Five Test added unexpected insight. These moments of reflection helped me reframe how I see myself. When Imitation Backfires:I share the story of how I tried to mimic a successful coworker to get promoted. The turning point came during a work trip where she told me she could never do what I had just done. That moment helped me realize the importance of being the best version of me, not someone else. Takeaways:Recognizing your strengths brings clarity, energy, and direction. Use feedback and assessments to identify your unique talents. Don't waste time chasing someone else's strengths—grow what's already within you. Build your life around the things that feel effortless, exciting, and empowering. Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

230 - Say Yes to Yourself n this episode, the focus is on one of the most pivotal mindset shifts anyone can make: saying yes to opportunity, beginning with the internal yes. It's not just about being open to change—it's about understanding how to negotiate with ourselves, assess our limits, and move forward with clarity and confidence. Sometimes, the biggest changes start with the smallest steps. Whether it's saying yes to something you're unsure about or redefining what a yes looks like, this discussion offers real, personal insights into how a thoughtful commitment can lead to lifelong passion, purpose, and transformation. Saying Yes Starts WithinEvery new opportunity begins with a decision. But the hardest person to convince is often ourselves. This episode explores how internal resistance can block growth—and how saying yes internally is a vital first step toward real change. Understanding the Inner BATNAUsing negotiation theory, the concept of the “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement” is applied inwardly. Instead of giving a full yes or a full no, it's possible to shape a commitment that feels right for where we are now. Examples show how to create flexible agreements with ourselves to avoid burnout while still moving forward. The Worst-Case Scenario (WATNA)What's the actual cost of saying no? Sometimes it's not failure—it's missing out. There's a thoughtful look at how evaluating the worst realistic outcome (instead of imagined fears) can help in decision-making, particularly when opportunities feel risky or unclear. The Five Whys and Finding the Real MotivationPeeling back the layers with the “Five Whys” technique leads to the real motivation behind our desires. Whether it's career, health, or creative pursuits, getting to the root “why” makes it easier to say yes with conviction. Growth Through StretchingGrowth doesn't come from staying in a comfort zone. Saying yes often means learning something new, stumbling a bit, and adjusting along the way. These stretch moments—while uncomfortable—create the capacity for greater confidence and fulfillment.

229 - How We Learn Matters More Than What We Learn Learning is more than taking in information—it's about transformation. The way learning is approached often determines how deeply it takes root and impacts daily life. This episode explores why being intentional about the learning process makes all the difference. From methods like teaching, project-based work, and reflecting through struggle, to considering how technology like AI fits into the process, this discussion offers a roadmap to learning that leads to growth, resilience, and even joy. Passive vs. Active Learning:Absorbing content without focus—reading while distracted or listening without engagement—leads to shallow understanding. In contrast, active learning, where there's intention, reflection, and application, creates change. Engaging deeply with a subject by asking questions, taking notes, or testing understanding results in better retention and real-life utility. Teaching to Reinforce Knowledge:One of the most effective ways to learn is to teach. When explaining a concept to others, it becomes necessary to understand it fully. Teaching sharpens thinking, exposes gaps in knowledge, and forces organization of ideas. The process of preparing to teach something naturally deepens personal mastery. Learning Through Projects:Doing something hands-on turns theory into practice. Projects—whether automating a smart home system, organizing with software, or crafting a creative piece—reveal the nuances of a skill. Starting with small, achievable tasks and expanding from there helps build confidence while naturally progressing into more complex areas. The Role of Struggle in Learning:Discomfort is not a sign of failure—it's the place where growth happens. When a concept feels difficult or frustrating, it's often the moment just before a breakthrough. Seeking out challenges, revisiting hard material, and wrestling with ideas help integrate knowledge on a deeper level. Struggle builds both competence and character. Learning Styles and Personalization:Recognizing how information is best absorbed—visually, audibly, or kinesthetically—can change the learning experience entirely. Tailoring materials and methods to fit natural preferences makes learning smoother and more sustainable. It's not about finding the "right" tool, but the one that fits how the brain works best. Using AI to Enhance, Not Replace, Learning:AI can be a powerful tool for structuring learning paths, brainstorming ideas, and breaking down complex topics. It accelerates access to resources and helps clarify confusion. But it should serve as a guide, not a replacement for real thought. Over-reliance on AI can prevent the necessary struggle and reflection that makes learning stick. Unexpected Passions and Practical Payoffs:Sometimes, what begins as an obligation or neutral task becomes a passion. Exploring new skills can lead to unexpected joy, relationships, or career changes. Other times, learning something unpleasant helps avoid frustration later. Either way, engaging fully with a subject—even without passion—can lead to worthwhile outcomes. Takeaways:The quality of learning depends more on approach than on the content itself. Passive consumption won't create growth; active engagement will. Teaching others, doing real projects, embracing struggle, and understanding personal learning styles are all ways to turn ordinary learning into something life-changing. AI and other tools can support the journey but can't substitute the internal work required to truly learn. Even when something doesn't seem enjoyable at first, there's value in trying it anyway. Passion can grow unexpectedly, and sometimes the reward is not in the task itself, but in the freedom or skill it unlocks. Learning is not about information—it's about identity. Becoming a better learner builds confidence for tackling anything, from career changes to hobbies to everyday challenges. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/4090-2/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

228 - From Dreamer to Doer In today's episode, I'm getting real about the trap of being a procrastinator and overthinker. I share how I spent years stuck in analysis, planning, and learning — but not actually changing anything. And most importantly, I talk about how I broke out of that cycle through small daily actions. My Journey from Shelf-Help Scholar to Action Taker:I open up about my old habit of endlessly gathering advice without doing anything with it — and the moment I realized dreaming wasn't enough. My Favorite Action Strategies:I break down the simple techniques that helped me shift into action, like the Two-Minute Rule, habit stacking, friction reduction, and life scheduling. Finding My Why:I explain how connecting tasks to a bigger purpose (like my dream of hiking across Spain) kept me motivated even on the tough days. How I Use the Five Second Rule:I share how counting down from five helps me smash through hesitation and move toward my goals instantly. Takeaways:If you're feeling stuck, you're not broken — you just need to move. I learned that action, not thinking, is what builds a better life. Even if all you do today is take one small step, you're already winning. I hope you walk away from this episode with new energy, new hope, and a simple truth ringing in your ears: you already have everything you need to change your life. You just have to start. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/228-from-dreamer-to-doer/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

227 - Rebuild Real Trust Trust is one of the most powerful forces in human connection—and also one of the hardest to rebuild when it's been broken. In this episode, I explore what it means to trust again after growing up in an environment where trust didn't come easily. Through personal reflection and real-world observations, this conversation unpacks how trust is formed, how it's tested, and how to rebuild it one small step at a time. Understanding Early Lessons in TrustChildhood experiences have a lasting impact on how we relate to others. When people around us are unreliable, inconsistent, or hurtful, it's easy to adopt a mindset of self-reliance and emotional distance. That mindset can follow us into adulthood and shape every relationship we form. The Circle of Trust: Not Everyone Gets InNot all relationships require the same level of openness. There's value in having different levels of closeness with different people—from casual acquaintances to deeply trusted friends. Being intentional about who enters each level of that circle helps protect emotional well-being while still allowing meaningful connection. The Trust EquationCredibility, reliability, and intimacy all factor into how much someone can be trusted. But when someone is overly focused on themselves, it weakens that trust. This equation offers a useful framework to assess relationships more clearly and make thoughtful choices about who to invest in. Looks Can Be DeceivingCharm and appearance often fool people into thinking someone is more trustworthy than they really are. That "halo effect" can be dangerous, especially when it distracts from consistent, trustworthy behavior. Recognizing this pattern can prevent misplaced trust. Building Trust Over TimeTrust doesn't happen overnight. It's built through small actions repeated consistently—by noticing whether people do what they say, how they respond to conflict, and whether they show genuine care. True trust grows in layers, with each honest moment reinforcing the foundation. Takeaways:Trust is essential to living a full, connected life—but it's okay to start small. Real relationships aren't about perfection; they're about reliability, mutual respect, and emotional safety. Paying attention to patterns, being mindful of your own history with trust, and gradually opening up to the right people can lead to deeper, healthier connections. Everyone deserves relationships grounded in trust—and it's never too late to start building them. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/trust-or-distrusst/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

100 - Can a Christian Be Stoic? In this episode, I explore a question that has shaped much of my spiritual journey: can a Christian embrace Stoicism? I share how I discovered Stoicism at a young age and how its principles helped me build resilience during difficult times. Later, when I became a Christian, I had to ask whether those Stoic values still had a place in my life—and what I found was both challenging and enlightening. Virtue and Character in Both PathsBoth Stoicism and Christianity call us to a life of integrity—emphasizing values like courage, wisdom, justice, and self-control. I talk about how these overlapping principles shaped the way I approach daily life, relationships, and spiritual growth. Even though the motivations are different—Stoicism is about inner peace, Christianity is about serving God—the virtues themselves resonate in both. Emotions: Controlled or Embraced?One of the biggest contrasts is how emotions are treated. Stoicism promotes emotional restraint. Christianity invites emotional honesty. I reflect on the emotional lives of Jesus and biblical figures like David and Hannah, and what that says about God's design for our emotional nature. Suffering and ResilienceBoth philosophies prepare us to face hardship. I talk about how Stoicism taught me to endure, but Christianity taught me that suffering has a purpose. One builds strength through discipline; the other brings hope through surrender. Together, they have helped me become more resilient—not just tough, but spiritually anchored. Where Stoicism Can Fall ShortI also share moments where Stoicism made me overly self-reliant. Sometimes I default to solving problems instead of praying through them. That's where my faith checks me. Christianity invites me to lean on God, not just on grit and planning.

225 - Ancient Stoics Solve Modern Problems In this episode, I reflect on how discovering Stoicism as a young girl profoundly changed how I view the world. From the ancient teachings of Zeno and Epictetus to modern-day applications like mindful eating and emotional resilience, Stoicism offers practical wisdom for anyone navigating life's chaos. The Origins of Stoicism:I explore the fascinating story of Zeno of Citium, a shipwrecked merchant whose misfortune led him to philosophy. His teachings on virtue, nature, and practical ethics laid the foundation for a timeless way of living. Lessons from Epictetus:A former slave turned philosopher, Epictetus taught that true freedom lies in mastering your internal world. His views on control, endurance, and serenity still resonate today. Personal Stories of Applying Stoicism:I share how I used Stoicism to handle tough family dynamics, including confrontations with my father and grandmother. These stories show how “negative visualization” and calm resolve can transform even the hardest situations. Modern-Day Stoicism:From budgeting to dieting, I explain how I use Stoic principles in everyday life. Whether it's mindful eating or resisting emotional spending, these ancient tools still work. Virtues in Action:Stoicism isn't just about reading—it's about doing. I talk about how wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance guide my choices, and how practicing them intentionally can change your life. Takeaways:This episode is a reminder that life's hardships are inevitable, but our response is within our control. By practicing Stoicism, we gain the tools to live with purpose, resilience, and integrity. The virtues of courage and wisdom aren't just lofty ideals—they're daily habits we can build. Whether you're facing a tough boss, a diet, or emotional overwhelm, Stoicism gives you the mindset to endure and grow. Don't just read the philosophy—live it. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/225-ancient-stoics-solve-modern-problems/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

224 - Moderation In Everything In this episode, I talk about a life lesson that's stuck with me since childhood: the importance of moderation. From Greek philosophy to personal experiences with family and faith, I unpack how “all things in moderation” has become a guiding principle in how I view the world and navigate life's ups and downs. We look at why extremes are so prevalent in today's culture—and how finding the middle ground might be the key to more peace, better health, and healthier relationships. Greek Roots of ModerationI share how my love for mythology evolved into an interest in philosophy, especially the ancient Greek idea that virtue lies between two extremes. From bravery to self-control, the Greeks saw moderation not as weakness, but as wisdom. The Real-World Impact of ExtremesThrough stories about my own family, I reflect on how living in extremes—whether it's drinking, spending, or judging others—can lead to breakdowns in relationships and self-destruction. Moderation in Emotional and Spiritual LifeDrawing on Stoic philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, I explain how emotional balance is just as crucial. It's not about being emotionless, but being emotionally grounded. Finding the Middle in Modern LifeI touch on examples like food, exercise, and even how we treat others. It's not about giving up on enjoyment or discipline—it's about avoiding the burnout and blind spots that come with excess. Takeaways:The key message is simple but powerful: moderation leads to a more peaceful and effective life. We don't have to live in emotional chaos or rigid restraint. Whether it's how we eat, spend, love, or work, finding a balance helps us be more present and more authentic. This lesson shaped my path, and I hope it helps you think differently about how you approach the choices and rhythms in your own life. Try identifying one area where you might be going to an extreme, and explore what a more balanced path might look like. It's not about being perfect—it's about being intentional. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/224-moderation-in-everything/. Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

223 - Advice from Silly Places This episode explores how surprisingly profound life advice can be found in unexpected places—like cartoons, comic strips, movies, TV shows, music, and even bumper stickers. Drawing from a wide range of pop culture references, this episode reveals the timeless truths hidden in the most playful and unconventional sources. Cartoons with Character and WisdomClassic animated characters like Tweety Bird, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote aren't just entertaining—they offer insights about thinking ahead, handling frustration, and staying true to yourself. Even characters like Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd show what happens when anger goes unchecked, while Bugs Bunny reminds us that wit often wins over brute force. Philosophy Through Comics: Calvin and HobbesThis beloved comic strip is full of wisdom disguised as childhood curiosity. From grappling with fairness and creativity to reflecting on friendship, imagination, and life's meaning, Calvin and Hobbes present simple truths with emotional depth. Song Lyrics That Speak to the SoulFrom “Let It Be” to “I Can't Make You Love Me,” the lyrics of popular songs are filled with lessons about love, patience, heartbreak, and resilience. Whether uplifting or sobering, these messages hit home with their honest reflections on the human experience. Wise Words from Television and FilmIconic lines from shows and movies like Rocky, The Lion King, Parks and Rec, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Mandalorian, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer provide motivation, emotional strength, and perspective. Quotes like “Just keep swimming” or “Tomorrow is another day” remind listeners to push forward, appreciate the present, and keep hope alive. Takeaways:Life's best advice doesn't always come from books or lectures—it often comes from the unexpected corners of pop culture. Cartoons teach resilience and wit, comic strips bring philosophical insight, music speaks directly to the heart, and films show how to endure and grow. Whether it's inspiration from Rocky's determination, comfort in Dory's persistence, or humor in Homer Simpson's honesty, wisdom is all around. Sometimes, all it takes is listening closely to the world we already enjoy. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/223-advice-from-silly-places/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

223 - Advice from Silly Places This episode explores how surprisingly profound life advice can be found in unexpected places—like cartoons, comic strips, movies, TV shows, music, and even bumper stickers. Drawing from a wide range of pop culture references, this episode reveals the timeless truths hidden in the most playful and unconventional sources. Cartoons with Character and WisdomClassic animated characters like Tweety Bird, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote aren't just entertaining—they offer insights about thinking ahead, handling frustration, and staying true to yourself. Even characters like Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd show what happens when anger goes unchecked, while Bugs Bunny reminds us that wit often wins over brute force. Philosophy Through Comics: Calvin and HobbesThis beloved comic strip is full of wisdom disguised as childhood curiosity. From grappling with fairness and creativity to reflecting on friendship, imagination, and life's meaning, Calvin and Hobbes present simple truths with emotional depth. Song Lyrics That Speak to the SoulFrom “Let It Be” to “I Can't Make You Love Me,” the lyrics of popular songs are filled with lessons about love, patience, heartbreak, and resilience. Whether uplifting or sobering, these messages hit home with their honest reflections on the human experience. Wise Words from Television and FilmIconic lines from shows and movies like Rocky, The Lion King, Parks and Rec, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Mandalorian, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer provide motivation, emotional strength, and perspective. Quotes like “Just keep swimming” or “Tomorrow is another day” remind listeners to push forward, appreciate the present, and keep hope alive. Takeaways:Life's best advice doesn't always come from books or lectures—it often comes from the unexpected corners of pop culture. Cartoons teach resilience and wit, comic strips bring philosophical insight, music speaks directly to the heart, and films show how to endure and grow. Whether it's inspiration from Rocky's determination, comfort in Dory's persistence, or humor in Homer Simpson's honesty, wisdom is all around. Sometimes, all it takes is listening closely to the world we already enjoy. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/223-advice-from-silly-places/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

222 - The Two Buckets: A Simple Way to Solve Life's Problems Hi everyone, it's Jill from the North Woods! In this episode, I'm sharing one of the biggest life lessons I ever learned—the concept of putting problems into two buckets: things I can change and things I cannot. This idea, rooted in the Serenity Prayer, has helped me navigate everything from growing up with an alcoholic parent to financial struggles, career changes, and even weight loss. I'll take you through the history of this powerful mindset, from ancient Greek philosophers to modern problem-solving techniques, and share real-life examples of how shifting my focus has made all the difference. If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to tackle life's challenges, this episode is for you. The Serenity Prayer and How It Shaped My ThinkingI first learned the Serenity Prayer in my teens while attending Alateen, a support group for children of alcoholics. This simple yet profound message helped me reframe my struggles, allowing me to focus on what I could change instead of feeling powerless over what I couldn't. The Long History of This WisdomThe idea of separating problems into what's within our control and what isn't has been around for centuries. I share insights from historical figures like Epictetus, Solomon ibn Gabirol, and Shantideva, all of whom recognized the power of focusing on what we can control. Real-Life Applications of the Two Buckets Approach-Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent – I couldn't stop my dad from drinking, but I could create a full, active life outside of that challenge.-Politics & Global Issues – I can't change everything, but I can vote, volunteer, and contribute where I can.-Financial Stability & Retirement Worries – Social Security's future is uncertain, but I can prepare by saving more and making smart financial decisions.-Weight Loss & Health – I once thought my weight was out of my control until I found new solutions and the right support. Re-Evaluating What's in Your “Can't Change” BucketSometimes, we assume a problem is out of our hands when it's really not. I share examples of creative problem-solving—like how a simple change (adding mirrors) made people stop complaining about slow elevators. The key is to step back, get a new perspective, and challenge assumptions. Takeaways:✅ Put problems into two buckets: Can you change it or not?✅ Focus on action instead of worrying about things beyond your control.✅ Re-evaluate your buckets over time—something that seemed unchangeable might have a solution you haven't seen yet.✅ Seek outside advice when you feel stuck—sometimes an expert or a fresh perspective can make all the difference.✅ If something is in the "can change" bucket, take the first step today. This mindset shift has helped me reduce stress and solve problems more effectively, and I hope it helps you too. Now, I challenge you—think about a problem in your life right now. Which bucket does it belong in? Let me know what you think! Email me at Jill@startwithsmallsteps.com, comment on my channel, or share this episode with someone who might need it. Thanks for listening, and have a great week! https://startwithsmallsteps.com/the-two-buckets-a-simple-way-to-solve-lifes-problems/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

221 - Don't Let Anyone Push Your Buttons In this episode, I share one of the most powerful lessons I ever learned—from a book I discovered as a child. Wayne Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones completely changed how I saw emotions, reactions, and the way people try to manipulate us. This book helped me navigate a tough home life, stand up to bullies, and, most importantly, stop letting others control how I felt. I explore the emotional traps that keep people stuck—anger, worry, guilt, insecurity, and perfectionism—and how to break free from them. The biggest takeaway? No one can push your buttons unless you let them. Learning this truth gave me the confidence to take charge of my emotions, and in this episode, I'll share how you can do the same. The Book That Changed My PerspectiveI was a little kid in a chaotic home when I first saw Wayne Dyer on PBS talking about Your Erroneous Zones. Something about his message clicked. Even as a child, I realized that emotions weren't just things that happened to me—I had control over them. The Emotional Traps That Keep Us StuckDyer identifies five major thought patterns that hold us back: Anger – Letting frustration control you instead of responding calmly.Worry – Stressing over things that are outside your control.Guilt – Staying stuck in past mistakes instead of making amends and moving on.Insecurity – Constant self-doubt that keeps you from taking action.Perfectionism – Thinking you need to be 100% ready before you start something.I share how I struggled with these emotions and the small steps I took to overcome them. The Most Life-Changing Lesson: No One Can Push Your ButtonsThis was the biggest revelation: people only have power over you if you let them. I saw firsthand how my father emotionally manipulated my mother. But when I learned to control my reactions, he stopped targeting me. If someone is making you feel bad, it's because you're giving them permission to do so. How to Take Back Control of Your EmotionsIf you struggle with reacting emotionally to situations, try these strategies: -Pause Before Reacting – Take five seconds to ask, Is this worth my peace of mind?-Reframe the Situation – Most people's negativity is about them, not you.-Use Humor – Responding with a joke can take the power away from insults.-Practice Inner Silence – Sometimes, the best response is no response.-Find Compassion – Understanding why someone acts a certain way can help you detach. Takeaways:-Your emotions belong to you. No one else can make you feel something unless you allow them to.-Taking action is the antidote to fear. Perfectionism, insecurity, and doubt all shrink when you start moving forward.-When life squeezes you, what's inside of you comes out. If you don't like how you react under pressure, it's time to work on what's inside.-The more you control your emotions, the freer you become. People lose their ability to manipulate you when you stop reacting.]If you've ever felt like someone else has control over your emotions, it's time to take that power back. By shifting your mindset and making small changes, you can free yourself from anger, worry, guilt, and insecurity. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/221-take-control-of-your-emotions/ Jill's Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com