Podcast appearances and mentions of bj fogg

In this recap, Lesley and Brad reflect on their powerful conversation with Amber Fuhriman—attorney, NLP trainer, and host of Break Your Bullshit Box. Together they unpack how perfectionism and people-pleasing keep high achievers trapped in fear, and how authenticity, though uncomfortable, is freeing. This episode challenges listeners to take responsibility for their choices and trust that staying authentic is better than constantly seeking approval.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why people-pleasing is a hidden form of control, not kindness.How perfectionism hides behind fear and the need for validation.What authentic affirmations sound like without toxic positivity.Why creating an “SOS list” can help you act instead of overthink.How taking responsibility for choices leads to personal freedom.Episode References/Links:Cambodia Retreat Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comOPC Winter Tour - https://opc.me/eventsPilates Journal Expo - https://xxll.co/pilatesjournalAgency Mini - https://prfit.biz/miniContrology Pilates Conference in Poland - https://xxll.co/polandtContrology Pilates Conference in Brussels - https://xxll.co/brusselseLevate - https://lesleylogan.co/elevateeLevate Waitlist - https://lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlistSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsTiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/fNNWEahAmber Fuhriman's Website: https://www.successdevelopmentsolutions.com90 Day Success Jumpstart Training - https://jumpstart.successdevelopmentsolutions.comBreak Your Bullshit Box Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/morethancorporate If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Speaker 1 0:00  She advocates for affirmations that acknowledge the gap between who I think I am now and who I need to be in order to accomplish this. You know, I want to be this type of person. I will become this type of person, right? I am becoming this type of person.Lesley Logan 0:14  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:57  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the candid convo I had with Amber Fuhriman on our last episode. If you haven't listened to that one, you are going to need to listen to that one, because I'm stumbling over my words today. Brad Crowell 1:12  It's a great episode. It's a lot of fun.Lesley Logan 1:14  It's so good, it's so fun. And it was nice as local. And I really like being on her podcast, so you're gonna want to listen to it whether you listen to it first or last, I mean, there's, it's really okay, I think, in life to hear the ending and then watch the show. Sometimes I do that with real life TV, because I just want to know if I'm like, falling like, if I'm like, rooting for a villain or not. I just want to know. I gotta, I gotta have that information now.Brad Crowell 1:35  Yeah, she's not lying. She literally does this. Lesley Logan 1:38  Hey, you know what? Brad Crowell 1:39  Tell me. Lesley Logan 1:39  Bands would like drop just like a single song, but you'd go buy the whole album without listening to it. So you, in fact, knew there's one song I'm gonna love on this. Speaker 1 1:50  I think there's a difference between the teaser of something and the ending conclusion. Lesley Logan 1:55  These are not teasers. The recap episode is teasers. We are taking a talking point each, right? And of the many talking points that they had, so it's like two things.Speaker 1 2:06  I don't know what that has to do with going and watching the end of a TV show before you start the TV show. That's the conclusion versus a teaser. Lesley Logan 2:12  It's a sample, sampling. Brad Crowell 2:14  Okay. Lesley Logan 2:14  Sampling a part. Brad Crowell 2:16  It just happens to be the ending sample. Lesley Logan 2:18  Okay. Well, today is October 30th and we decided we want to talk about tomorrow, because tomorrow is Halloween. And I don't know about you, but I grew up. First of all, I went to some churches where Halloween was, like, just the evilest thing you couldn't even go trick or treating. Did you ever go to a church like that, like, where, like, they didn't even? Brad Crowell 2:35  No. Lesley Logan 2:35  Okay. Your church has always trick or treated? Brad Crowell 2:37  Yes. Lesley Logan 2:38  Okay. So I did not experience that all of my childhood. But then some churches, we could totally trick or treat, and then there were some churches where you could trick or treat, but like people, like whispered, you know. Brad Crowell 2:49  They whispered about trick or treating? Lesley Logan 2:51  At any rate, what no one talks about is how this holiday had nothing to do with the churches, and it wasn't even the Halloween. It was about something else. And we decided to tell you about the true history of Halloween. So.Speaker 1 3:03  Yeah, it's, it's actually like cultural warfare is, if you, if you want to look at it. Lesley Logan 3:08  I know, like, it's like an appropriation. Brad Crowell 3:10  Yeah. Well, they, yes, they appropriated the time and they renamed it. So we'll talk about that. Lesley Logan 3:16  Okay, many, many holidays were done this way. So Halloween originated from the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, right. Brad Crowell 3:24  Samhain. Lesley Logan 3:25  No no. In the thing we looked up, it literally said to how to say it pronounced saa · wn. So Samhain is pronounced saa · wn spelled Samhain, but it's you say it saa · wn, let me go back to my sheet. Okay. A three day celebration held over 2000 years ago that marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of the dark, cold winter. Are you gonna just.Brad Crowell 3:52  Sorry, just taking over right there. All right, keep going. Lesley Logan 3:55  Okay. Thank you so much. Okay, so the Celts believed that this was a time when the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead blurred, allowing spirits to roam the earth. To ward off harmful spirits and guide benevolent ones, they lit bonfires, wore costumes and left offerings and food outside their homes. Pause, just so you know, also in October in Cambodia, they do something called Pchum Ben and Pchum Ben, Pchum Ben, it is a almost month long celebration in parts of the country, but for sure, a three day celebration where everyone, no one works, including in the tourist city of Siem Reap we're only going to find expats working. You're not going to find a single Cambodian working. And they they don't get dressed up, but they celebrate and they do all these things so like that is awesome.Speaker 1 4:42  Pchum Ben is a Buddhist holiday that is celebrated every year where they believe that the souls of their ancestors are released for 15 days so that they can basically stay with family. Lesley Logan 4:53  Yeah, it's really cool. People like will travel on a moto for 11 hours to go with family. It's freaking crazy. But I just want to say, like, how cool, like, even across the world, the same, similar thing was happening. So to ward off harmful spirits and guide benevolent ones, they, oh, I already said that part, sorry. Speaker 1 5:09  They lit bonfires, wore costumes and left offerings, which is actually like it trickles down over the, you know, millennia. And the ancient custom, those ancient customs, kind of evolved into what are now, trick or treating, the costumes, decorations and parties celebrated for modern Halloween. I mean, we don't light bonfires and, you know that kind of a thing (inaudible).Lesley Logan 5:30  No because if you did, people are gonna think that you're a witch. But you can actually just say, no, I'm celebrating. How do you say it? Samhain, I'm celebrating Samhain Okay, so the oh, one more thing on this, the Roman and Christian influence. After the Romans conquered the Celtic lands, Roman festivals like Feralia and Pomona were incorporated into Samhain traditions. Later, the Catholic Church established All Saints Day on November 1st and All Souls Day on November 2nd, making October 31st All Hallows Eves, which means hallowed or holy, right? So they just.Brad Crowell 6:05  Which then become Halloween. Yup.Lesley Logan 6:08  .Yeah, So they just stole it. Brad Crowell 6:10  Yeah. Just just renaming things over here. Lesley Logan 6:12  So if you don't like that I'm harping on the church, you know it, sometimes we have to accept the responsibility of people from our past. Every fucking group of people has done something wrong, but it's more important to be like, educated and understand. And if you love Halloween, I love that for you. I decided to get into Halloween-ish, this year I got witchy nails, which are not done for this recording, but just check out my Instagram. They're witchy nails for me anyways. And when I because I just, like, remember, when I was why does everybody like, this holiday, but now that I, like, know the history of it and what it was for, I actually can get down with it.Speaker 1 6:50  It also marks like, it's actually the end of a season, going into the next season. So it was the end of harvest. So imagine, yeah, imagine, imagine you just spent all season, like, you know, really digging in on the harvest, and now it's time to party, and there's a new season coming. So I feel like it all kind of goes together. Lesley Logan 7:11  And also, like, I mean, just imagine a couple thousand years ago, like, life was so hard. And I also (inaudible), the more you look at the celebrations that they had, it really was like taking a pause of the hard work of life, and doing some sort of way to celebrate that. And we don't do that around here. We just, like, keep working through all the things. And like, at least in the States, maybe you take off a couple days for the actual holidays. And so I just, I feel like this is a holiday that has a lot more history to it. And and I, and I kind of like, what that history is. It seems really beautiful. And what a great way to spend time with family and past loved ones. And also, like, let's not forget, you know, in Mexico, they do Día de Muertos, which is on November 1st, right? Like, the big celebration of the like, there's a lot of different cultures that celebrate the people that have come before them and spend time together. And there's all this stuff. So anyways, just think about that. Think about the loved ones you had, and celebrate the harvesting you did, and report back. Okay.Speaker 1 8:09  Yeah, Lesley and I've been back from Cambodia and Singapore now for a week and a half. And it's just always so refreshing for us to get back to our second family over there. You know, people that we love, the places that we love to be in. The environment over there is just it's so magical. And we would love to have you join us next year, but get on the waitlist, because there's limited amount of spots. We're going to be going in October of next year, but we're going to be announcing all of that in January. So go to crowsnestretreats.com to get on the waitlist for information about the upcoming trip for 2026 we're only going one time next year, only going one time next year. We're only going one one time next year. Lesley Logan 8:50  Are you trying to convince yourself or everyone else? Brad Crowell 8:53  I'm letting everybody know, because a lot of people have said, oh, I'll come with you in the spring, and we're not going in the spring. We are only going in the fall next year, so, side note. Lesley Logan 9:04  And probably the year after that, I just have to say it to you. Brad Crowell 9:06  October 1st, we already rolled out our tour go to opc.me/events to join us for the OPC winter tour. We're gonna be driving all around the United States of America. We're gonna be going from Vegas all the way up to Boston, down to Miami and back. It's gonna be something like 24, 25 locations. It's kind of insane. We're very excited about it. We are going to be even bigger.Lesley Logan 9:28  We're going to studios we've not been to and have been excited. They've been on the list for a while. These are human beings that, like, we have literally been like, how do we make sure we get to see them again?Speaker 1 9:39  But you can find out all the specifics where we're stopping. Go to opc.me/events, chances are high that some locations may already be sold out. Lesley Logan 9:47  Yeah it's been out for a month. Brad Crowell 9:48  Because it's been out for a month. So but go check it out opc.me/tour. Then in January, where are you teaching?Lesley Logan 9:55  We'll be at the Pilates Journal, their first ever event in the U.S. It will be at Huntington Beach. If you go to xxll.co/pilatesjournal, you can get your tickets Brad Crowell 10:03  Pilates Journal Expo. Lesley Logan 10:05  Yeah. So Pilates Journal is a Pilates Journal. It's a magazine, and they.Brad Crowell 10:10  It's free, by the way. Lesley Logan 10:11  Is it? Brad Crowell 10:11  Yeah. The journal they release is free. Lesley Logan 10:14  Oh, I love that. I mean, I always just assumed, I just was given it for free. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Pilates Journal, but I just, I don't know. I just thought maybe they just (inaudible).Brad Crowell 10:23  I'm like 90% sure. Lesley Logan 10:25  But they, they do a really, they do events in Australia and. Brad Crowell 10:28  Yeah, subscribe for free. Lesley Logan 10:29  You can subscribe for free. I've written for articles for them several times. I think it's really worth looking into. But if you're a Pilates teacher, you should come. The lineup is amazing. Several of these teachers have taught. We've all taught together somewhere, but never taught all together. So like you're not going to see this line up again, you might as well come and then in February, we're going to host Agency Mini, that is our business coaching program for Pilates instructors and studio owners. And you're going to want to go to prfit,biz/mini. So it's profit without the O dot B-I-Z slash mini, to get on the waitlist. Also probably in January-ish, they'll be letting the waitlist people get the best discount. So I'm just saying. In March, we're going to two places in Europe. We'll be in Poland, at the Pilates Poland Controlology Pilates Conference. So go to xxll.co/poland by the way, I'm doing that with Karen Frischmann. And so if you like me, and you're gonna like Karen, I'm just gonna tell you right now, she's like, she's extremely smart, extremely knowledgeable. And like, I I feel, I feel like, like, you know how there's like the pop band, and then there's like the, like, uber rock, like, just has done, been doing music for decades, and like, they're just like, that's what it is. And so you, if you don't know Karen, I promise you're gonna love Karen. And if you know Karen, then what are you waiting for? The two of us will be together so we can, like, knock it out in one weekend, or go into Brussels, xxll.co/brussels. We'll be at El's studio there in Brussels, and we're very excited about it, different workshops at each event. So, but same teacher. So you're as long as long as you love Karen and I, or one of us, you're gonna have a great lineup. Just pick the one that works the best for you, and then we will, Brad is gonna take me on a second honeymoon, and then we are going to land and arrive at P.O.T in London. And I don't have a link for you, but you could just Google P.O.T., Balanced Bodies P.O.T. London, It will come up. They have amazing SEO. They're really good at what they do. And you can snag your spot. It is limited, and it sells out every year. So there you go. Before we get into this amazing interview with Amber, what is our question this week?Speaker 1 12:29  @marystarpilates asks, hey, Lesley, do you still do your continued education teacher training program? Where can I find information on that? Thank you so much. So I'm assuming she's talking about eLevate. Lesley Logan 12:41  Yes, I did clarify. And the answer is yes, she's talking about my mentorship program for Pilates instructors. So you have to have, you have to have done a comprehensive program in that, like, you should have been trained on the mat, Reformer, Cadillac or Tower and Chair, right? The Wunda Chair. Of course, I'd love it if you (inaudible) on the barrels. But like, I'm not worried about you being overwhelmed by the fifth weekend, but you need and then you have to have access to a mat, a Reformer, a Tower, Cadillac, a Chair and a Barrel. So you don't have to have a full studio access. It doesn't have to be classical. In fact, I work with both classically trained and contemporary trained people who are classic, classically curious, classical people who feel like they were like, taught this, like, rigid, you know, culty perfect way of doing Pilates, and they would like to have a little bit more fun. And we just really break down and ditch perfection and get really excited about what Joe gave us and what the intentions were, and free you from thinking you need to have a million fucking cues all the time. And also really help you with your own personal practice. Help you with seeing, help you with patience in your teaching. And so if you go to lesleylogan.co/elevate, you can learn more about it if you do the same exact URL, but add waitlist to it. So lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlist, you can get on the waitlist for the next one, because this upcoming what year are we in right now? So 2026, is next year is sold out. Sold out. You can reach out to us. You never know what might happen. But 2027 is where we're already we're actually already taking people, taking applications, selling spots. The reality is mentorship programs like this. I have friends who have one who are five years booked in the future. I'm not going out that far. I'm kind of a year in advance kind of person, but if you know you want it then you can plan ahead. So that's what I would say. Speaker 1 14:24  Yeah, awesome. Well, stick around. We'll be, oh, actually. Lesley Logan 14:28  Go to beitpod you want to send us questions. Brad Crowell 14:30  Yeah, you have to join us for all these questions. Your participation is required, or we don't get to ask answer your questions. So 310-905-5534, hit us up or.Lesley Logan 14:39  And I want some fun questions. I want, I want relationship questions. I want family questions. I want career questions. I want some (inaudible) questions. Brad Crowell 14:50  She wants some juicy questions.Lesley Logan 14:51  I want, I want, I want. I also want the gossip that comes with the questions. You could be anonymous. Speaker 1 14:58  Go to beitpod.com/questions, where you can leave a win or a question. Thank you for that. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about Amber Fuhrman. Amber Fuhriman is a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser and an attorney who now works as a coach, human behavior expert and podcaster. As a certified trainer of neuro linguistic programming or NLP, and host of the More Than Corporate Podcast. She blends her legal background with mindset and performance coaching to help high achievers push past limiting beliefs and perfectionism. And after years of believing success was about money and titles, Amber has redefined it as freedom choice and building a life that truly feels fulfilling. A lot of relation like a relatability here with her story and just.Lesley Logan 15:43  I know, another guest where it's like, oh, we're, like, just on the same we're on the same longitude, you know, just a different latitude. Like, she's doing something very similar, like it's, we're on the same longitude, but a different latitude, you know, like, like, Joe Allen was doing similar things with the orthodontist. And we do what we do for Pilates instructors and studio owners, and she does what she does for like, other professional it's just very cool. But also I love how our lives can bring a different lens to it, a different focus to what we do. And we I really appreciate her willingness and interest in like, we talk about people pleasing, and we talk about a bunch of stuff, but I just really got excited about talking about people pleasing because, like, how many of our listeners, how many people do we know that are doing things that are people pleasing? Brad Crowell 16:26  Well, I thought her definition of it was, she said, people pleasing is when you consider other people's feelings before you consider your own. And I thought that was interesting, especially because, you know, and then y'all talked about how.Lesley Logan 16:47  Yeah, we talked about see, so, like, I also think that some people pleasers are it's just another form of control. By the way, you can also be you're controlling people's emotions as well, or the outcome of people's emotions. But we, she clarified that not people pleasing doesn't mean being an asshole. Just for the purpose of being an asshole, like it's about instead about being authentic and speaking your truth. So meaning, like a lot of people will go to dinner with a family member on Thursday to people please, rather than which is not authentic, by the way, because you don't want to be there. You're gonna be somewhere else. So you're actually that's kind of, I think you're more of an asshole if you're people pleasing because you're not being authentic. I think that's we should re define people pleasing as being an asshole, a non-authentic person.Brad Crowell 17:28  Not authentic person. Lesley Logan 17:30  Yeah. So she advised, like, what you can do when you're not people pleasing is, like, were the actions that I took in alignment with who I want to be as a human So, meaning you decided to not people please. Someone had a reaction that was not something that you liked like all, that they're upset that you're not doing the thing for them. And so like, you get to ask yourself, were the actions that I took in alignment with who I want to be as a human being? If the answer is yes, then I will not apologize when I'm 100% in alignment with my actions. And you can understand that and accept me for I am, or you don't accept me and like, that is really hard for a lot of people, because, like, I'm gonna lose people. You guys were allowed to lose people in our life. We just are, and it's gonna happen. Like, it's impossible. It's impossible to keep everyone happy with you all of the time. There's just not, there's no way that is going to even be a possibility. And so if you are, if you are actually being authentic in alignment with how you feel and you speak that and someone doesn't like it, you are not in the wrong. They are also, by the way, there might not even be in the wrong.Speaker 1 18:29  I mean, look, you could be in the wrong, but if you are doing this to protect yourself or to stop people pleasing, this is when you have to ask yourself these questions. You know, were the actions I took in alignment with who I want to be as a human? If that's the case, then, then you can confidently move forward knowing that you weren't doing it to hurt them. You were doing it to uphold your own values, right? So if you were doing it to hurt them, then don't be an asshole. But if you're doing it to uphold your own values, that that's different.Lesley Logan 19:00  If you were doing it then hurt them. Sorry. You are being an asshole. But I just think that the more we can understand ourselves, the recovering people pleasers that we are, these are gonna be conversations you have to have with yourself. You're going to have to chit chat with yourself about like, okay, but give yourself pep talk. I want to be this person who speaks my heart, who shares how I feel, who's honest with how and will I will spend time with people, and that is going to upset some people who would like me to have more of me or have me at this thing. But I'm not in the wrong. I'm not an asshole. I'm being authentic and like, they will either come around or they won't. Speaker 1 19:35  Yeah, I really liked when she was talking about the like, toxic positivity, like, fake it till you make it. Where she was talking about, she, basically, I just, she was so frustrated about the idea of it, and she, she was like, don't ever put me in a room with people who believe this, because she's gonna lose her shit.Lesley Logan 19:59  Yeah, I want to be in that room. Actually, is that terrible? I like, I would like her to, like, she's such a good person with words. I would love to and she's a lawyer, so she's so good at articulating. Speaker 1 20:11  I mean she talked about, she talked about, you can't lie to yourself and convince you like you can, but there's dissidence that's happening when you're lying yourself in that way. And she said, the brain doesn't like distance between what is being said and what is truly believed. So, you know, she said, instead of doing that, instead of being like, I'm amazing, I'm beautiful in the mirror every morning, kind of a thing, she said, she advocates for affirmations that acknowledge the gap between who I think I am now and who I need to be in order to accomplish this. You know, I want to be this type of person. I will become this type of person, right? I am becoming this type of person, right? That's different than, you know, like.Lesley Logan 20:49  Like people do I am, I am rich. But if you're, like, barely able to pay your bills, like the brain is, that is not helpful. So I am becoming rich.Brad Crowell 20:57  Or I make decisions that are going to make me rich. Lesley Logan 21:00  Yes, I make decisions that are making me rich. I am on my way to abundance. I am, you know? Speaker 1 21:05  Yeah, I like that. And so it's, it's nuanced. It's nuanced here, you know, but I, but I actually appreciated that, and I thought, oh, that's a cool way to to adjust it, because sometimes it does feel fake, and that's annoying, and that's not, that's not. I have a hard time embracing that too, so I get that.Lesley Logan 21:20  Well, because scientifically, like in behavior science, like the brain, doesn't like dissonance, right? So, BJ Fogg, his sister, she was talking about how, you know, one of the habits, BJ likes to get people to start with from reading his book, it's like every day, get out of bed, you put your feet on the floor, like everybody does this. You can literally start a habit. Tomorrow morning, you put your feet on the floor. You say, today is going to be amazing. Or you can say, I'm amazing, but, like, usually he would say, today's me amazing day. And then you stand up and like, you like, so you want and like, it's a great first habits, a great way to start the day. And she, like, talked to us just like, yeah, so my husband died, and on the day of his funeral, I'm not going to put my feet on the floor. I go today is an amazing day. Because the brain isn't like dissonance, and that's gonna screw the habit up, right? Because it's gonna be like, oh, this is not real. So what she said is, today is going to be as good as it can be, right? And that's an honest thing. And so I think where she's.Speaker 1 22:16  And it's an affirmation, you know, like, still, is putting you on like, a path to see the good in the day. Lesley Logan 22:22  Without it being toxic positivity. It's like, it's an and so I actually really appreciated that because we taught we have a lot of people talk about, like, affirmation and mantras. And hers is like, yeah, so have ones that are that are actually helping you be it till you see it, not that are lying to you about what you are. That's not gonna be helpful. She's just super cool. I mean, I listened before I was on her podcast, because I met her in person for the podcast. I listened to several of her episodes, and I was just like, I feel like I'm learning so much. Brad Crowell 22:48  That's cool. Love it.Lesley Logan 22:49  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you don't have to put her on faster speed, just gonna be really honest, you can put it on a regular speed, because I had it on 1.75 I was like, maybe we'll take that down a little bit. It's like listening to me.Speaker 1 23:00  That's hilarious. Well, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those into those Be It Action Items that you have with Amber Fuhriman in just a minute. Brad Crowell 23:10  All right, welcome back. So finally, what Be It Action Items, can we take away from your convo with Amber? Oh, I said that differently this time. For those of you who say it along with me, say it along with me. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Amber Fuhriman? She said, hey, when you are struggling with overthinking or in or you are struggling with intense emotions, this is really cool y'all. She said, create an SOS list, meaning the list of people that you are flashing the SOS sign to, right? And this list is just two or three trusted people who you can reach out to, and they can be your gauge for you, right, that they can help you when you know you're spiraling out, like if, if you know, for example, if you are like an overthinker and you can't put it into action, and you recognize I'm overthinking again. I'm not acting. I need you to actually just get started. You can text your SOS list, you know, but first ask them if that, you know, they're willing to be on it. But you can develop a specific, predetermined SOS phrase, like Amber said, I'm stuck at the airport, right? And for her, being stuck at the airport is like she's prepping, she's prepping, she's prepping, she's prepping, but she's never taken off. She's never taken off. She's always stuck at the airport. So she said, explain what the SOS phrase means to you, and clarify that if you send that message to your people on the SOS list, it really means I need somebody to check in on me right now. So for example, you know, I imagine it may change over time. You know, what does your SOS mean, right? Especially when Amber's partner died, I imagine it was a, you know, a different reason to be reaching out than now where she's, you know, it's been a couple of years, and she's moving on, and she's running a company and things like that. You know. So she said, it really will help you have somebody check in on you. Who, who you trust to understand like, I need help right now. So when you find yourself in those overwhelm moments, send an SOS to your list. And she said the decision to ask for help actually allows your brain to see solutions. Okay, even if they don't get back to you instantaneously, it will put you on a different path to see solutions, particularly helpful for recovering perfectionists who find it really hard to say, I actually need some help right now. So really cool idea. Lesley Logan 25:35  Something has nothing to do with what we're talking about now, right now. But like my brain went to this person, somebody in China, bought a first class ticket to some Chinese airline, which means that you get to eat in the first class lounge before you take off. And because it's a first class ticket, it's like fully refundable and transferable. So for 300 times, 300 meals, this person would check into the airport, check into the first class lounge, eat for free, and then reschedule their ticket. And they did this 300 times before anyone's like, what is this person doing? So talk about being stuck at the airport, and I just thought, is the food that good? Because the actual like going to an airport, getting into a first class lounge is so annoying.Speaker 1 26:27  Even the food at the Centurion lounge, it's good, but I wouldn't say it's great. Lesley Logan 26:31  And also, not all Centurion lounges are created equal. I like ours, but the L.A. one, you can get it together as can you JFK, just saying, Okay, my big, back on track. Brad Crowell 26:41  Yeah, how about you over here? Lesley Logan 26:43  Recognize you have complete control over your daily decisions. You've complete control your daily decisions. I think we like to outsource decisions like I can't do that because x, y and z, but you have complete control over your daily decisions. And if you're unhappy, you have to dig into the decisions you're making to create that situation. Are you saying yes to things you should be saying no to? Are you staying up late the night before so you feel like shit in the morning, right? So understand that avoiding a decision is still a decision. Oh, avoiding a decision is still a decision, and make different choices to change your outcomes. She also said.Speaker 1 27:22  I think that's been the biggest thing that has changed my stress level is that I would avoid making a decision, but in the back of my mind, it was still I knew I had to address this thing, whatever this thing would be. It didn't matter what it was like, I might like just be unwilling to open a text message from somebody because I knew it was going to launch a whole thing. I got to go down this thing and then I would push it off, and then, you know, or it's like email inbox kind of stuff, too, like, avoid it, avoid it until it's like an actual problem. Yeah, and that was one of the biggest changes, was making the decision to stop avoiding things and to just hug a cactus, as it were. But I love that. I think, I think acknowledging that avoiding a decision is actually still a decision that was super helpful for me.Lesley Logan 28:08  And she said, consider her 90 Day Success Jumpstart Training or join her free Break Your Bullshit Box community. So I and that's on Facebook, if you, if you go there, I mean honest on I went on Facebook the other day, and I was like, oh, wow, look at all these people I can unfollow. Thank you for acknowledging yourself, sir and sir and you so anyways. But I just thought this is such a bright, wonderful, honest and maybe a little maybe you feel called out, maybe you feel called out, and maybe you need to, because you got to break your bullshit. You know. And I just think a lot of us the what's getting in the way of being it till we see it is people pleasing and telling ourselves that we don't have control over certain things, some things you do, and we just gotta be honest about that. So, share this with a friend who needs to hear it, especially the people pleasing one, because those people can bother your life too. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 28:56  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 28:58  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Speaker 1 29:40  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 29:45  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Speaker 1 29:50  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 29:57  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Speaker 1 30:00  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you ever ask yourself….“Why do some habits stick and others fade away?”OK, lets talk about habit stacking = attaching a new habit to one you already do. This was developed by BJ Fogg an American social scientist and author.Lets talk about an easy and effective technique!

Attorney and success strategist Amber Fuhriman joins Lesley for a raw and empowering talk about perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the hidden fear behind our need for clarity. Amber opens up about how achievement became her coping mechanism and how trauma can disguise itself. Together, they unpack toxic positivity, hyper-independence, and what it really means to redefine success on your own terms. You'll walk away with Amber's SOS system to ask for help before burnout hits.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How people-pleasing can quietly sabotage your goals and boundaries.Why success and busyness often mask deeper emotional pain.How “seeking clarity” hides perfectionism and fear of making mistakes.The real cost of toxic positivity and how to embrace hard emotions.How Amber's SOS system helps you stop overthinking and take action.Episode References/Links:Break Your Bullshit Box Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/morethancorporateAmber Fuhriman's Website: https://www.successdevelopmentsolutions.com90-Day Success Jumpstart - https://jumpstart.successdevelopmentsolutions.comRory Vaden's TED Talk - https://youtu.be/y2X7c9TUQJ8?si=yV69LFYhwgBlc4zYTiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/0MOylqVGuest Bio:Amber Fuhriman is an attorney, success strategist, and speaker who helps high achievers create success aligned with self-awareness and authenticity. She is a certified Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and uses mindset and communication tools to help clients overcome perfectionism and fear-based decision-making. Amber hosts the Break Your Bullshit Box* podcast, where she leads honest conversations about leadership, mindset, and the courage to live fully. Her work focuses on helping professionals bridge the gap between external achievement and internal fulfillment. Through her coaching and speaking, Amber empowers others to define success on their own terms and take purposeful action toward it. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Amber Fuhriman 0:00  If you took away our names and our identities and our genders and you looked at just the dots that were important to our identity, we both had a history of suicide in our family. We both lost our dads at the age of 18. We both had siblings that we felt like relied on us. There were these things that were identical to who we were, yet I went to law school and he went to jail. He became a drug addict. He has turned his life around now, and he's clean and sober, yet people look at him and they say, you're such a screw up. And people look at me and they say, you're so successful. What they don't realize is we were numbing the same thing. Academic accomplishment was my numbing mechanism. If I did enough, if I focused on something else, then I wouldn't have to feel what I was going through.Lesley Logan 0:49  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:32  All right, Be It babe, get ready. This interview, we go on the best journey. It's so good. The Be It Action Item was great. There's also some really good action steps to take within the interview. Amber Fuhriman is our guest today, and I wanted to have her on because I got to be on her amazing podcast. And I loved her questions so much. I loved her responses. I loved the conversation. I was like, she should be on this show, because if anyone's been being it it till you see it, it's her, and we talk about people pleasing and perfectionism and success. And I just think you're going to have a really great time. I think it's going to be really eye opening. Pay attention to the SOS thing. I think that's a killer. And let me know what your takeaways are. I want to hear about it. So here's Amber Fuhriman. Lesley Logan 2:10  All right, Be It babe. Get ready. I know this is going to be a great conversation, because I've already had the pleasure of meeting this woman on being on her podcast, and we could have gone on for hours. So I just decided, well, let's just continue the conversation over on my podcast. Amber Fuhriman, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Amber Fuhriman 2:27  I'm so excited to be here, and I agree with you. We could have talked forever, and you just meet people. It's crazy we're both in Vegas, because I think our response was, how have we not crossed paths? Like, how is two amazing people that it is fantastic not met before now, so I'm so excited. To sum it up, I'm a recovering perfectionist, a people pleaser that is learning how to not people please. I'm an attorney, a, it's a struggle, man, the struggle bus is big on the people-pleasing train, right? Yeah. I am a attorney, sometimes in recovery, sometimes not. And I do coaching and human behavior and podcasting and all of the things.Lesley Logan 3:05  Oh my gosh. I think everyone their ears perked up when they heard, oh, you're a recovering perfectionist and a recovering people-pleaser. like, hi, who are you, like, we're listening? Because the people-pleasing, looking to start there, it is really hard. And I think it's like, I think some people don't even realize they're people-pleasing. I think that they think they're being kind.Amber Fuhriman 3:24  Yeah. I think that's so true, and I also think we don't, we've never been told to talk about it, because people-pleasing is what we were told we were supposed to be as not even just women. I mean, I do think women have it more than men, but I don't want to exclude men from the conversation of people-pleasing, but I do think that we as women were told that our job is to be there for other people. We are traditionally put into nurturing roles. I remember being the only female attorney at the criminal defense firm I worked at before I started my business, and we had a really sensitive case, and I remember them coming in and saying, Amber, we need you. We need a woman's touch. And I said, you, and you asked me, like, have you not met me? Like, I'm so rough around the edges. If you need somebody that can nurture this poor woman, I should be your last choice. I can look at six men that will do a better nurturing job than I will, but there's this perception that we're just supposed to take care of other people.Lesley Logan 4:20  Yeah, yeah. And it's like, can you, do you know, like, what are, in case people don't know, what are some signs that they are a people-pleaser? Do you have that off the top of your head, like?Amber Fuhriman 4:30  Yeah, I think the one that's coming to my head the most right now is that you care about what somebody else is going to feel about your actions more than you care about what you're going to feel about your actions. So you go to say something or do something, and the first thought you have is, but what will the other person think? And I am, I want to clarify that there's zero part of me that's telling you to go around being an asshole, just for the purposes of being an asshole, but if your authentic self and you speaking your truth and who you are, is going to piss somebody else off, then let them fucking be pissed.Lesley Logan 5:05  Oh, okay, so here, my mind went so many places, because one of the things that, we coach Pilates studio owners a lot, and so we're small business owners, and, like, also just in life, go out, and I like talking to small business owners, and it is amazing how many people, like, don't want to change their policies, don't want to charge for a late cancelation and won't raise their rates because they are so concerned with how it's going to affect the other person that it's actually affecting their business from making the money it needs to make for them to stay in business. And it's like to your point, of course, I'm not an asshole who doesn't care how they feel, and I don't want to lose them as a client. But also, if I don't make enough money doing this, when I am working with clients, they are taking a spot from someone who could pay me so that I can actually provide for my family, so I cannot put their feelings so far ahead that I'm actually suffering.Amber Fuhriman 5:53  Yeah, and I don't think we think about it that much right, like if I am speaking my truth and I'm being me, and I'm being authentic to who I am, and that upsets somebody, and I think, oh my gosh, I can't say that, because they're going to be upset. Are they putting the same thought process into whether they're asking me to be somebody different than who I am? Right? Why is it that we are the ones that have to adjust and and I know this is going to trigger some people out there, so you're welcome and I love you, because the reality is one of my favorite sayings is that your actions are all about you, and their responses are all about them. So whenever I have somebody who responds emotionally to something that I'm doing, the first question I ask myself is, were the actions that I took in alignment with who I want to be as a human being. Do I need to adjust something? Are they rightfully upset? Did I act out of alignment with who I am? If I did, then I have some apologies to make. I have some internal work to do. I have some questions to ask, but if I can look back and say I am 100% congruent with the actions that I took, and yes, I want to repair this relationship, and I will be there for you when you're ready to have a conversation, but I will not apologize when I am 100% in alignment with my actions. This is a conversation you get to understand and accept me for who I am, or don't accept me, and it is a beautiful place to get to, but it's not easy. Lesley Logan 7:17  Yeah, thank you for clarifying, like how you can self-reflect, to just address and also double check what you're doing. Because I think especially if you are trying to not people-please as much, you're going to need that set of tools to help you get there, because you're going to have people who get pissed off. The first people who get pissed off are your close family and friends who will get that's who you're people-pleasing for so many years are not going to like when you start acting different.Amber Fuhriman 7:43  Yeah and I think family and friends is the hardest, because they're going to support you the least by nature, which is not all their fault. It's human behavior, right? We exist. So for the people that are listening, there's this term that I love in NLP, called perception is projection. And basically what that means is we project all of the things about ourselves out onto the world. So everybody that we come in contact with is meant to teach us a lesson, positive or constructive about ourselves, right? So we can only see the world as we are. So when we start making positive changes in our life, when we start becoming the next version of who we are. We are fucking with the perception that our friends and family have held of us for a really long time, and that messes with their identity, because now they're faced with, do I level up or do I stay and leveling up takes courage and getting out of a comfort zone and something that not everybody's ready to do. So when they're faced with that choice, sometimes it's easier for them to try to convince you not to change than it is for them to face their own bullshit of whether or not they're going to be willing to join you.Lesley Logan 8:54  Oh my gosh. Everyone rewind. Hear that one more time. It was so good. It's so good. We can keep going on this path. But I also wanted to say, like, maybe let's go on a journey with you. You like, have you always wanted to be a coach? Did you always want to, like, dive into helping people with success and things like that? Or was like being an attorney, like the thing you wanted to do? Like, what's the journey that got you to where you are today, podcasting and helping people like you do?Amber Fuhriman 9:18  Yeah, the answer is neither. So I will say that going to law school was a trauma response for me, and because it was a trauma response, the question I hated the most was, what made you decide to go to law school, or why did you go to law school? Because I never had an answer. For me, I grew up in, I was born in the '80s, grew up in the late '80s, early '90s. So I say that because that period of time, for those of us who were raised there, we were taught that we put in enough hard work and there was this level of payout that's gonna come at the end, right?.Lesley Logan 9:50  Oh yes, yes, you work hard and you're going to get rewarded, also. Amber Fuhriman 9:54  Hard work pays off, I fucking hate that phrase. Lesley Logan 9:56  If you add that, if you add a layer of religion in there, the same thing, like, there's a lot of gold at the end of all of this for the people who do everything perfectly right, and work harder than yesterday. And you know what? Also, also, you should do 110% at work just to prove that you deserve the paycheck you're getting, and then be happy that they didn't fire you and not give you, like, like, all these different things. But anyways, keep going.Amber Fuhriman 10:24  Yeah, yeah, no. So, so you get it. And then the second part of what I'm about to share is the reality that we often say what it is we want to have, but we don't articulate the reason those things are important to us. And so we never understand and get to make the connection of whether what we think we want is actually going to bring the payout that we think it's going to bring. So let me bring this down a little bit for you. So I grew up in the world where money equaled success, success equaled happiness, and I was in so much pain. So I talk about this in my book, when I decided to go to therapy in 2016 and decided is an overstatement, when I was suffering from panic attacks and had no choice but to go to therapy because I couldn't breathe, in 2016 it was the first time I had ever heard the term abandonment disorder. I didn't know what that meant. And then I started looking back at my life, and I started experiencing death for the first time at the age of seven. My cousin, I had two suicides in my family before the age of 14. My dad died when I was 18. Like our brains don't comprehend that somebody died. They just comprehend that somebody's gone, right? So for me, I was just so used to people leaving me that it created this belief that people aren't going to stick around, and I've got to be super hyper independent, along with that, after my dad passed away, when I went to a grief counselor for the first time, the first thing they did was try to put me on antidepressants. And I never wanted to be medicated, so in my brain, that connected if I talk to anybody about not being okay, they're going to medicate me, and I don't want that, so I just pretended I was good, until I couldn't pretend anymore. After my dad passed away, I failed out of undergrad. I was the first person in my family to go to college. I really struggled with this idea of grief and success at the same time. So when I was at my rock bottom, I thought, something's got to change. I've always loved legal thrillers. I fell into the trap of thinking that life as an attorney was a John Grisham book, which it is, sadly not. My dad and I talked about me going to going to law school. He thought I'd really like it. He was no longer here, so it was kind of a connection to him. But most importantly, it's the only way I knew to make six figures, and that money equals success. Success equals happiness. Happy people don't feel pain. So in 2016 after I'd gone to law school, I'd made my first six figure income. I had the respect in my profession, and I still hurt. I didn't know how to breathe, and that's when my panic attacks started. It was learning the human behavior behind choices, healing from my own choices, uncovering and dealing with the masks that I put on throughout my whole life as I saw the benefits of that. That's when coaching kind of opened its doors to me.Lesley Logan 13:22  Wow, thank you for that whole journey. And I think I can, I don't, I don't have, I didn't have the grief part of it in my childhood, but I definitely had the hyper independence, like, you know, I, I, there's pictures of me as a little girl, like, making my own breakfast, because my dad was, like, very into, like, build a bit, like, you have to be able to take care of yourself. And like, so like, as a three year old, like, the bowl of cereal was poured and the milk was in the fridge, and I had to grab the milk from the fridge, it's already poured in a cup for me to fill my bowl. And, like, I love the independence it taught, but also, layered with that whole, and my parents for good reason, like, they live in a small town. They do not have money. So if they're like, if you want to have a life that's not like this, you have to go to college, because college is going to guarantee a paycheck.Amber Fuhriman 14:12  It's so comical now, right?Lesley Logan 14:13  It guaranteed a lot of student loans. I'm glad, of course, I'm glad I went. I would not be here today had I not gone on that journey, because I don't believe anything happens without happening for us, but because I'm but I did laugh as like in the 2008 recession, when I was a full time Pilates instructor that is not why I went to school for, and I was like, well, this $700 month student loan bill sucks, but I wouldn't have found a Pilates had I not been there. So, like, all these different things happen for the way they go. But it took me a really long time, and I'm still learning today, it's probably the thing, the hardest thing I'll ever have to learn is like, I cannot do it all alone. So I'm constantly thanking my team. I'm constantly thinking, my team. I have to remind myself, my team. And then when things go wrong, I have to the my first reaction is like, I could have done it better, and I have to go, no, I could have explained it better. I could have, maybe I could reflect back and see where I could have checked things more. I could have. But, like, I that hyper independence is a really hard thing, I think for a lot of women, because what they do is they just do everything themselves, and then they're burnt out and they're pissed off, and they'are resentful. Amber Fuhriman 15:19  Yeah. Yeah. And I think so when you say I could have done it better, you're saying you could have done it better than the team or better than. Lesley Logan 15:26  Myself. I could have done it better myself. Amber Fuhriman 15:27  You could have done it better yourself. Lesley Logan 15:28  Yeah, which is not true, because I can't even do, I can't even like, do technology myself, so.Amber Fuhriman 15:34  Right. And I fall into that often. And the reason I asked for clarification was because I wanted to make sure I understood what you meant. And maybe we could have, right, done it better, but we can do it better once, and then they get to be better at it by doing it over and over again. But I think more importantly, have you ever heard Rory Vaden's TED Talk, Procrastinate on Purpose? Lesley Logan 15:56  Yes, yes. Amber Fuhriman 15:57  Oh my gosh. I love this so much. And one of the things that he says in there that really sticks with me is by saying yes to one thing, you're saying no to an infinite amount of other things that you don't even know yet. So when we say I could have done that thing better, maybe that's true, but what is the thing that we actually did better that we wouldn't have been able to do had we focused on that thing that we might have done better? Right?Lesley Logan 16:20  Yeah, yeah. I think that's so good. And I think, like, we, I, we all have our things that we are overcoming. And like, it'll think you, you're in the coaching world, so, like, maybe you can address this. I think the perfectionist in us, and in all the people listening, is that, like, we should get over it. And I've determined, or come to some comfort thinking that, like, nothing you're ever over it, you just get quicker at identifying that you're in it and that you have to deal with it. Amber Fuhriman 16:49  What is it, the perfectionism? Lesley Logan 16:51  The perfectionism or the thing that you're like, whatever your whatever your trigger is, so like, the hyper independence, or the people-pleasing, or it's not that you're like, you just like, overcome it and it's behind you and you'll never do it again. It's like, I think that, like, it still comes up in different levels or different ways, and you have to go, oh, I recognize it a little sooner. Like, instead of it taking days for me to get over it, like, whatever it is, like, I it takes me an hour, or takes me five minutes, I go, oh, that's me falling into that trap again.Amber Fuhriman 17:20  Yeah, I think it's so important to focus on that, because one of the things that we do in our trainings is we help people with some emotion-related conversations, which is basically every conversation we're ever going to have in life. So when we think about some of these perfectionism and people-pleasing and even overthinking or lack of delegation, or whatever the behavior is, usually that is tied to some emotional response that's usually tied to anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt, which are five major emotions. Normally when we're talking about what, what the purpose is of these behaviors, we can tie it back to one of those five emotions. So as we do the emotion work, the behaviors start to shift, and one of the biggest ones is fear, right? I'll ask people, what's the purpose of not delegating? Well, I'm afraid it won't get done as good if I do it, or I'm afraid like somebody will see it and it won't be mine, and then that'll trigger this imposter, or whatever it is, right? So when we're talking about this, understanding what we're actually feeling when we experience those behaviors is so incredibly important, so we can deal with those emotions, but I think also being able to tap into what the purpose of those behaviors are. So whenever somebody that I'm working with has a behavior like perfectionism or lack of delegation, or whatever the it is, I'll ask them, what's the purpose of this? And they're like, well, it doesn't serve a purpose. And my response is always, it must, or else you wouldn't do it, because every behavior has an intention. So what is it that you're gaining or avoiding by doing these behaviors, because that's where the real work is done.Lesley Logan 19:03  This, as a habits coach that's the same thing, like BJ Fogg, who I study with, he said there's no such thing as a bad habit, because every habit serves you. If you don't like a habit that you have, that's okay, but there's no there's they're not good or bad. It's just, like they all either they're providing certainty or safety or there's a actual positive feeling you're getting from it in your brain, even if you don't like that you do. If you don't like that, you scroll. There's something that you're getting that's a dopamine hit that your brain is like, this makes me feel good. Now, to unravel that, we have to figure out what the prompt is, and we have to figure out, you know, how do we get that same, a similar feeling with something else that you actually do want? But I, thank you for (inaudible) that journey. Can I ask, like, I think, like something that stuck out, and we don't have to talk about this, if you don't want to, but like, you mentioned that like going to law school is like a trauma response. I feel like most people wouldn't think that like going and taking yourself to school would be a trauma response. I guess I'm wondering, like, what are, what are some trauma responses that people might not realize that, like, that's a trauma response they'd be doing. Like, can we talk a little about trauma responses?Amber Fuhriman 20:06  Yeah, absolutely. And I'm an open book, so I will go anywhere you want to go. So let me give an example. This is when I started to realize that it was kind of a trauma response. I have a really good friend of mine that I did a podcast interview with about four years ago, when I first, first started my podcast, he's one of the first people that I met in the personal development space, and one of the reasons we connected is because we had so many similarities in our life. So if you took away our names and our identities and our genders, and you looked at just the dots that were important to our identity, we both had a history of suicide in our family. We both lost our dads at the age of 18. We both had siblings that we felt like relied on us. There were these things that were identical to who we were, yet I went to law school and he went to jail. He became a drug addict. He has turned his life around now, and he's clean and sober, yet people look at him and they say you're such a screw up, and people look at me and they say you're so successful. What they don't realize is we were numbing the same thing. Academic accomplishment was my numbing mechanism. If I did enough, if I focused on something else, then I wouldn't have to feel what I was going through. And I think that we fall into this trap of thinking that because our and I'm really careful when I compare this, because our addiction is socially acceptable. We convince ourselves that it's healthy, right? But it's not. We're still numbing. If you're I mean, obstacle course racing that I did for a really long time was a numbing mechanism for me when law school didn't work. At some point in time, we get to feel the feels. At some point in time, we get to just be human and be enough without feeling like we need to be or do or become something more when we feel that way, when we feel like I am enough right now, then the things that we want to do and become become additional exciting opportunities for us, instead of the thing that is going to fix us or heal us. And I think that's the difference. So when we, when I look at law school as a trauma response, the only reason I can say that it was one is because I didn't go to law school because I wanted to go to law school. I went to law school because it was supposed to fix or stop the pain of something, and anytime we do one thing because it's supposed to make us not hurt, I think that there's some trauma in there, and that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It just means that we get to take it for what it is.Lesley Logan 22:46  Yeah, I think, my yoga teacher was I interviewed on my podcast, and his he was talking about, like, everyone's label things as good and or and bad. And he's like, that's just not really how it works. He's like, you can't have happiness without sadness. You can't, like, all these things have to exist for you to feel happy. You have to have felt pain. Like, that's the only way you can do it, which I think is really interesting, that we were taught like, success equals happiness and happy people don't feel pain. That's not true. But he also said, like, you know, in our society, we tend to think, oh, someone who drinks wine at the end of the night is numbing, and that's bad. But actually, like, there's been a lot of people who have even said like Mindy Pells, he said it there's someone else who's like, if that glass of wine helps you relax after a hard day and allows you to connect with your family, allows you to talk to them and to be fun, it might not be bad. Now, if it's you're doing it every night, too numb from the pain of work and also ignore your family, then it's not really serving you. Then it's so like, we do have responses to things, and as long as we're evaluating like, how is this actually serving us? Is it serving us? Is it actually serving the people that we say we love? Then we can't we need to stop being so hard on ourselves about some of the things that we're doing and that some things that we might not deem healthy aren't really healthy. Because I actually really liked that you told that story. You know, I have a real, after living in L.A. and living around unhoused people for as long as I did, just it's really, it's like nails on a chalkboard when someone says that they're lazy, why don't they go get help? Why don't they use resources? And it's just like we have no idea what their life was that led them here. Most people who are mentally healthy do not choose to live on the streets. You know, like, most people.Amber Fuhriman 24:27  And only that, like, I love that we went here, and I'm gonna piss some people off here in just a minute. So remember, you love me. I just did a keynote in Nashville in March, and my keynote is, every victim needs a villain, and it's so easy for us to look at people who live on the street as being a victim and be the person that's like, why don't you do this, or, why don't you do this? What about the person that wakes up pissed off at their job every single day and doesn't take control of their life? What about the person that wakes up and doesn't run their business the way that they want to do or that they could in order to make more money? What about the person that wakes up without good relationships with their family and then allows those relationships to destroy them inside? Because they have a roof over their head, doesn't mean that they're any less of a victim than anybody else. So we get to sit back and say, yeah, it's really easy for us to sit here and judge this type of victim, because we can look at them and we can identify that they are not societally acceptable. But your type of victim, whatever it is you're a victim of, because I promise you, every single person is a victim of something. It's a lot less easy for us to look internally and say what am I not taking control of in my own life?Lesley Logan 25:40  Yeah, Gosh, what a great TED Talk. And also, like, I think, like, what came to my mind is, like, a lot of people are like, well, my problems aren't as bad as so it's not that big a deal.Amber Fuhriman 25:50  And that works double sorted wise, right? Yeah, because, number one, my problems aren't as bad as this, so I don't need to deal with them. It's really unfortunate because the person who is living unhoused didn't wake up one day and live unhoused. There were not that bad problems that started it right. But second of all, the other side of that is when it comes time to become something great we also use that to say, well, my life didn't have the transforming moments because my problems weren't that bad, so I don't have anything to share with the world. So we get to just stop comparing ourselves in general, and say there's this thing that I don't like about what's going on right now, and regardless of whether somebody else has it worse, I still get to deal with this thing. And I want to tangent just a little bit, because you mentioned something earlier that I want to make sure that we dig into, which is the success happiness thing and it's toxic.Lesley Logan 26:46  You're reading my mind. Yeah, we're going here next.Amber Fuhriman 26:50  Toxic happiness and toxic positivity culture that some people live in, like I absolutely despise affirmations, the way that they are traditionally taught, which is stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself you're pretty until you believe it. Because this fake it till you make it mentality doesn't work. And if I don't think that I have self-worth, and I don't think I'm pretty, and I don't think like that I'm capable of whatever, then standing in front of a mirror and lying to myself about it isn't going to do a goddamn thing, except for convince myself I'm a liar, right, right? Lesley Logan 27:21  Well, the brain doesn't like distance, so you can't, that's why this is not called fake it till you make it, right, like, that's. Amber Fuhriman 27:26  Yeah, which I love. I love. So we get to pay attention to what that voice is. When you stand in front of a mirror and you say, I can have a seven figure business. I can have an eight figure business. What does that voice tell you? Because instead of just telling that voice it's wrong. We get to understand where does that voice's beliefs come from, and heal whatever that is that makes us believe that. So, and I'm not saying like so, the best way that I've ever seen affirmations done is to say this is who this is what I want to accomplish. This is who I need to be in order to accomplish it, and this is who I think I am now, so that you can see the gap between them to become it, and then your affirmations become things about yourself that you are in control of, that you are committed to being in order to level up to that next step of your life. So that's the first side. The other side is this toxic positivity and happiness. Like, if somebody else looks at me and says just think happy thoughts. I'm going to shove them through a glass window. Like, so I want people to hear this, because especially in the clickbait side of personal development, there's like, just feel better about yourself. Yeah, that's great. Like, thanks for the million dollar advice. Lesley Logan 28:38  It's like when someone says, well, you know, calm down. It's like the same, the same visceral response happens, I think, like, there, as we know, as you and I know, on the other side of things, yes, you can always look back on a rear view mirror and go, that shitty situation was a great thing to help me pivot. But while you're in the shitty situation, what you don't need to hear is just think happy thoughts. This is going to be great, like this is no no one needs to hear that from you. They can come up with that themselves, but at first they do have to feel the feelings of the shitty situation.Amber Fuhriman 29:16  Yeah and when I hear that, so the one for me that really resonates, and the reason I laughed is because when I was suffering from panic attacks, I would love it when people would say, Amber, just breathe. And I'm like, have you ever had a panic attack? I'm telling you, that's what I'm not capable of doing right now. Like, I would love to just breathe. You make it sound so simple. I like it takes every thought that I have in every ounce of focus to get air in my lungs right now. So just breathing doesn't seem as easy as you make it sound, but I think the other side of this just think happy thoughts, comment that you made is it makes us feel like we're doing something wrong, or that we are wrong because we're not okay. And it is okay to not be okay, it's just not okay to stay not okay, right? I got a. Water bottle at a conference I went to once that said nobody drowned by falling in the water. They drowned by staying there. So like we get to acknowledge like I'm not okay right now, how long am I going to allow myself to not be okay, and where do I need to be and who do I need to be around in order to be okay? So in this, in this vein, I encourage all of my clients to create an SOS list. And I actually encourage them, if they have an iPhone, to go into their text replacement and come up with an SOS phrase and replace SOS with their SOS phrase. So for example, mine is, I'm stuck at the airport because my so my SOS moments are normally overthinking. And I remember talking to a good friend of mine, and I was venting about what direction I was going to take my business. And I was tired of constantly feeling like I was having the same conversations about growth and not taking action and all the bullshit. And I said you know what I feel like? I said, I feel like I'm stuck at the airport. And she says what do you mean by that? And I said, I feel like somebody has given me an all expense golden ticket, paid vacation to anywhere that I want to go in the world. All I have to do is pick the plane that I'm going to get on. But instead of actually choosing a plane, I'm standing in front of the departures board looking at which one that I want to do, over analyzing every decision, and then I become Tom Hanks living in an airport, right? So for me, any choice I made would be a better choice than what I'm doing right now, but I'm so overthinking it that I can't express what I want. So I think that what's important is when we're in those moments we are sometimes so in our thoughts that we don't know how to ask for help. So if you have that close knit group of friends that you can say you are on my SOS list. If I text you and say I'm stuck at an airport, I am in my shit. So whatever your phrase is, what you'll find, and what's beautiful is that the moment you send that message, your brain knows that it's okay and you will normally have the answers that you're looking for before they even call you back. It's that decision to ask for help that allows your brain to say, okay, now I can see solutions. So if you if you find yourself in those places, pick two or three people, reach out to them, get their permission, I'm going to put you on what's called My SOS list. This is my SOS phrase. This is what it means to me. If I ever send this to you, it just means that in that moment, I really need somebody to check on me because I don't know how to ask for help.Lesley Logan 32:32  Oh, my god, that is so good. And I love that so much, because it makes me think of like Brené Brown said, like, I have five people. I have a name of five people in my life whose opinions of me matter, and they know that their opinions may matter, and if I have bad feedback or something comes up, I look at that list and it's like, okay, well, they're they're not my five person list. So who are they? So it makes me think of that. It's like having these lists of people that can help us, because it is, it is hard to fall in the water, not judge yourself for falling in the water, not get frustrated that you're back in the water and then, and then you're like, okay, I get to feel my feelings, and then somehow it gets becomes a habit, and you're still in the water, right? Like, so I really do like that like, we get to fall in the water, we can actually feel these feelings, and then when we're ready to get up and ask, like, we have a way of asking for help, which isn't like, I need help right now, because that is so the recovering perfectionist in the world, like that is like you that's like a that's a four letter word is I need (inaudible). Amber Fuhriman 33:30  Yes. Well, because a lot of this perfectionist thing comes from, you know, everybody's different, so I hate lumping behavioral traits into this is where they come from, but I've seen some trends, and a lot of it comes from believing that we had to be something in order to be valued and loved and worthy of connection, right? That just ourselves wasn't, so if we are imperfect, that means that we're unlovable, and I find that there's a lot of that connection between perfection end. And then the other thing that I love right now is the word clarity, that, because I see that everywhere, and I remember my coach telling me. Lesley Logan 34:10  (inaudible) having an authentic moment, clarity is. Amber Fuhriman 34:12  Yeah, yeah. Like my coach kept saying, so when are you going to take action? And I said, I just need some clarity. Just need some clarity. And I didn't realize how much I said it, and I'll never forget her telling me, Amber, you realize clarity is just the word perfectionist used to not use the word perfection. I'm like, I hate you right now, and I love you.Lesley Logan 34:29  I have a coach who said certainty is perfection in disguise. I'm like, fuck you. You're right. Like, like, I need it. Amber Fuhriman 34:39  I hate it when you're right. Lesley Logan 34:41  Yeah. You're like, I know that. I knew that. Amber Fuhriman 34:44  So, there's this, there's this video. This is what I feel like when I talk to my coach sometimes, there's this video of a little boy. I'll have to send it to you, and you can put it in the show notes. It's hilarious. A little boy, and you know those slides that we grew up with, like, not the safe ones that kids have today, but the metal ones that you were either going to burn your ass on when you go down, or you were going to end up bruised because you went so fast that you hit the gravel. Yeah, we didn't have those soft, padded, black, safe surfaces that kids get now. So I was watching a video of this little, maybe six year old boy, and he's walking towards this death slide that we grew up with, and he's carrying a blue toboggan behind him, and you can see that in his little six year old boy brain, he's going to climb up the stairs of the slide and ride the toboggan down this metal death slide. And his mom's videoing, and I love this so much, because his mom says, if you're going to be stupid, you better be tough. And his response is, I know you told me that lots of days. And so like I feel like every single time my coach says something to me that makes sense, I'm like, you tell me this all the time. I know I'm still going to take my blue toboggan up my death slide and figure out how this works in my own damn choices. And then you and I are going to figure out how to fix the outcome, right?Lesley Logan 36:07  Oh, my god, please send it. We have to link it. And also it's, it's, well, I mean, so as applied instructor, I was teaching someone in my group who's in my mentorship program who's trying to up level her teaching, and I was giving her some breakfast, like, I know, but like, I should be able to do it by now. And I'm like, okay, hold on. Like, I know that you know what the exercise is supposed to look like. I know that you've been doing this for years, and you, your body has been able to cheat its way through this. And I also know that you signed up to no longer do that. The problem is that your body wants to do the easiest thing, because it's just that's it's trained to conserve calories. It's literally trained to conserve calories. So we know that the new way, the better way, the more the stronger way, the more connected way is better. But to rewire our brain to do it that way, to do it that way is going to take more calories. So our body wants to do the easiest way. And I think, like us, you know, use clarity or certainty or have these other the perfectionist person of us is like, okay, I'm not. I'm going to work on being imperfect. And then our brain's like, oh, look at this thing over here. This is a great way to, like, hide out and take notice, because it's harder, it's more calorie-consuming. It's more awareness. It requires more thought to actually not like, to actually live in that imperfect place, and like be willing to make a mistake or be willing to get on the wrong flight, or be it requires more calories. So our brains and bodies are very good at sneaking around and taking shortcuts.Amber Fuhriman 37:41  Yeah, I love it. And one of the things that's coming to my mind right now, and I think I'm going to go do this. I've never done it before, and I think I'm going to, and I would encourage some of your listeners to do it and let me know how it goes. I want to leave my house without a plan one day, and I just want to, like, find out where I end up. And maybe, since we're both in Vegas, we can leave our houses without a plan together and just figure out what choices present themselves to us and where we end up when we don't have a expectation of how our day is going to turn out.Lesley Logan 38:12  Okay, we're, we're setting a date to do this. I have three months in town, so let's set a date where we do this, and then, and then we'll have a date the next day to talk about it.Amber Fuhriman 38:21  To talk about it, right, like, what opportunities do we miss? And I'm not telling people they shouldn't plan like my my schedule is like, completely planned out because it's important to but I also think that every now and then we need days where we just figure out where we would end up if we didn't have expectations about what the day would look like, what would we say yes to, and what opportunities do we miss when we're so focused on something else?Lesley Logan 38:46  Because, I mean, like when we go on vacation, some people can't have a vacation day that's not over planned. My husband, I went on vacation earlier this year after our big tour. Our tour was 8000 miles, like 22 cities, 47 events. Like every day is planned out. Otherwise we don't make it on the tour on time. So we have a vacation that's planned after every tour. And I took him to this hotel I love, and we literally laid by the pool, and I got so I read two books, and I got so bored. I was okay, I'm really bored now. It'd be a good time for us to, like, do something else. And he's like, what do you want to do? I'm like, I don't know. Why don't we just drive into town and see what we see. And like, had the best time wandering around a town, you know. But like, like, we do this when we're on vacations, ideally, you relax and you have but like, we don't ever do it like, on a on a day that normally we planned out or in our own towns. It makes me think of artist dates I'm in. I love it.Amber Fuhriman 39:35  Yeah, let's do it. I also want to share for those of like, because we've talked so much about perfection, I love, and I would encourage, if your listeners are artistic, they can they can do this, or they can go, like, find a picture on the internet. But whenever a friend of mine or a client of mine talks to me about perfection, I'll ask them to introduce me to their unicorn, and they'll be like, what are you talking about? And I said, Well, if we're gonna talk talk about things that don't exist, then we might as well talk about unicorns, right? So, like, just think about, like, we would never say, I can't go do something today because I have to take care of my unicorn. Everybody would be like, that is out, like, that's so dumb. Like, unicorns don't exist. Exactly, exactly, my friend.Lesley Logan 40:20  Okay, I have one more question, because I would love, I mean, I get, I feel like I get this asked all the time, and we brought up success, enough like, how, how do you define success now? Because I'm assuming it's changed since it's no longer get rich to be happy and not feel pain.Amber Fuhriman 40:38  Yes, it has absolutely changed. Yeah, freedom, which I know really isn't a definition. I love when people define words with other non-definable words. So I'll go a little bit deeper on that. For me, I love knowing that if I wanted to pick up and go to Nashville for a month, I can pick up and go to Nashville for a month if I have a friend who needs me, or if my family needs me, I my uncle passed away, or, I'm sorry, my cousin passed away in August, and I was able to just go stay with my aunt for I call him my uncle. This is why it's so hard. They're so much older than me. But either way, I was supposed I was able to go stay with his wife for a little bit and not have to worry about work, because I could travel so location, freedom and independence is so incredibly important to me, and then feeling like I'm in control, you know, not necessarily not having responsibilities. One of my coaches quotes that I steal from her all the time, so I'll give her credit, is choices of powerful things, suffering is always optional. So when I step back and I say, whatever happened today, I was in complete control of my choices in how I spent my day. So if I am not happy with the way my time was spent, then I get to look at my choices to determine how I'm going to avoid repeating that again in the future, where did I spend time that I didn't want to spend time? So time and location freedom is my definition of success right now. Lesley Logan 42:08  I do love that. I do love that. Okay, well, we could obviously talk for hours. We're gonna take a brief break, and then we're gonna find out how people can find you, follow you, work with you. Amber Fuhriman 42:15  Sounds good. Lesley Logan 42:16  All right, Amber, where'd you like to hang out? Where are all the places people can hear your amazing words of wisdom more.Amber Fuhriman 42:24  So first of all, the I have a free Facebook group, which we are revitalizing. It's been pretty dormant for a while, and I'm committed to changing that. So if you want to be a part of that revitalization, called the Break Your Bullshit Box Community on Facebook, so you can go check that out there, other than that, socials and the book and all of that stuff is on my website, at successdevelopmentsolutions.com.Lesley Logan 42:49  Amazing, amazing. Okay, you have actually given us so much. There's a few things I'm like, well, that's a Be It Action Item. Well, that's a Be It Action Item. But for the for the bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what do you have for us? You can take from what we've already gone over, or you can add more. Amber Fuhriman 43:04  Yeah, so I think the first thing that I would say is, if any of your listeners are interested in taking that next step, I do have an online 90-Day Success Jumpstart Training that starts to get you into some really actionable steps. So if they're interested in that, they can go to jumpstart.successdevelopmentsolutions.com. The actionable piece that I really want to leave people with is an understanding that you have complete control, like you make decisions every single day, whether you realize you make decisions and if there is anything that you are not 100% happy with in your life, then we get to dig into what decisions you're making to create that, because avoiding making a decision is still a decision. So what choices are you making? And how can we make different choices? So that's the actionable piece I would leave them with. Lesley Logan 43:54  Love, love, love. Amber, so fun. Okay, we have a date to make about our unplanned day, and then also a date just to be in person. You're wonderful, amazing. You guys, share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Share this with that people pleasing friend who doesn't realize that they are. They won't know that we told them to do that until they get to this part. And then, yes, that was for you. And make sure that you share any takeaways with Amber or the Be It Pod. We want to hear from you. We want to hear what your takeaways are. And until next time, you know what to do, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 44:23  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 45:06  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 45:10  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 45:15  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 45:21  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 45:25  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

SammanfattningI det här avsnittet pratar Jenny och Patric om skillnaden mellan återkommande beteende, rutin och vana – inspirerat av beteendeforskaren BJ Fogg. De reder ut varför dessa begrepp ofta blandas ihop och hur man kan använda förståelsen av dem för att skapa hållbara förändringar.De beskriver hur ett återkommande beteende är något man gör ibland, men som ofta kräver motivation varje gång. En rutin är mer strukturerad och planerad, men fortfarande medveten. En vana däremot är något som sker automatiskt – ofta utlösts av en signal och förstärkt av en belöning.Samtalet handlar också om varför många fastnar på rutin-stadiet och vad som krävs för att ett beteende ska bli helt automatiserat. Jenny och Patric tar upp konkreta exempel, bland annat hur träning består av flera små delvanor och hur man kan fokusera på den svåraste delen för att få hela kedjan att fungera.ShownotesSkillnaden mellan återkommande beteende, rutin och vanaBJ Foggs definitioner och exempelVarför många stannar på rutin-stadietAutomatisering som den ”tredje kraften” vid sidan av motivation och disciplinHur man bygger automatisering genom signaler och belöningarExempel: träning som kedja av delvanorAtt börja med det svåraste steget för att få igång helhetenHur små steg leder till starka, hållbara vanorVi erbjuder personliga skräddarsydda coachingprogram så att du kan finna de mest effektiva vanorna för att nå- och upprätthålla dina mål.För företag erbjuder vi mycket effektiva hälsoprogram där varje medarbetare blir coachad att utveckla effektiva vanor som leder till och bibehåller hans eller hennes hälsomål.För föreläsningar, personlig träning, coachingprogram och större hälsoupplägg för företag och organisationer: www.patricfriberg.se Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How can we shift our thinking in order to break a pattern? And how can we take positive action to make transformative changes in our lives? That's the focus of Scott Miller's new book, “Master Mentors Vol. 2.” It examines key insights from 30 of the world's most transformational leadership thinkers – including Seth Godin, Susan Cain, General Stanley McChrystal and more – and provides simple steps to implement the same insights in your own life.  In today's episode, Scott joins me to talk about the most valuable lessons he's learned from his own mentor, the concept of transformational insight, the subtle nuances between self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence, why vulnerability is a key element of leadership, and more. “I think the power of transformation has the power for you to see yourself differently. It has the power for you to challenge your paradigm, your mindset, your belief system, to say, gosh, I always thought about gratitude in this way, but now I'm gonna think about gratitude in this way. Or I thought about what's next for me or my business model. They're personal and professional. I think it's really intended to help kind of shake you to say you've been in this pattern of thinking this line of behavior and just shaking a little bit to say, is that serving you well? Is that serving those around you?” – Scott (06:03) Top 3 Takeaways  A mentor can be anyone. “I don't think you have to know or be in an intimate relationship, professional relationship with your mentor at all,” Scott says. It doesn't matter that you can't meet with them for one-on-one guidance; a mentor is anyone who helps you understand how to improve your life, and in the age of podcasts and YouTube, you can get that wisdom in a variety of ways.  Try to assume positive intent. Everybody makes mistakes, and sometimes even the most well-intended words come out wrong. A person's words say more about them than they do about you.  Self-worth is inherent and unchanging. “Self-esteem and your self-confidence ebbs and flows based on your sense of self and the kind of relationships you're in and the things that you do that you value or don't value,” Scott says. “But your self-worth cannot be changed and no one else can change it.” In This Episode (01:13) Why you don't need to meet your mentor to benefit from their wisdom (05:21) Scott's definition of a transformational insight (07:14) The practical applications of insights, and using them to transform your life (11:30) Bobby Herrera's life-changing bus ride (22:50) Self-worth vs self-esteem vs self-confidence (31:51) “Your future truth should be your present.” (36:03) BJ Fogg and the power of tiny pattern-breaking habits Resources & Links Billy Samoa  https://billysamoa.com/ https://www.facebook.com/BillySamoaSaleebey/ https://twitter.com/BillySamoa https://www.instagram.com/billybelieve/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjQ9RSxYqDS4_VxBHNyQJw https://www.linkedin.com/in/billysamoa/ https://billysamoa.com/podcast-archive/ https://billysamoa.com/video-carousel/ ⁠https://billysamoa.com/blog-with-sidebar/⁠ Scott Miller ⁠https://www.scottjeffreymiller.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.facebook.com/scottmillerj1⁠ ⁠https://twitter.com/scottmillerj1⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/scottjeffreymiller/⁠ ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/scottmillerj1/⁠ Mentioned ⁠https://tinyhabits.com/book/⁠ ⁠https://bobby-herrera.com/⁠ https://www.franklincovey.com/speakers-bureau/sean-covey/ This is an encore episode and was originally published on August 26, 2022 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell unpack the biggest takeaways from mindset coach Brad Bizjack, diving into what it really takes to create change that lasts. They reveal why perfectionism often hides behind the need for certainty, and how emotional leverage—not time—sparks transformation. Through real talk, personal stories, and practical takeaways, they show how knowing your “why” makes the “how” reveal itself. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How “certainty” disguises itself as perfectionism and quietly fuels procrastination.The real reason small, safe actions keep you from meaningful progress.What crossing the “line of lasting change” actually looks like in real life.Why unreasonable dreams push you to take bolder, smarter action.How doubt, pain, and vision each spark identity-level transformation.Episode References/Links:Winter Tour - https://opc.me/tourCambodia Retreat Waitlist - https://lesleylogan.co/retreatsPilates Journal Expo - https://xxll.co/pilatesjournalContrology Pilates Conference in Poland - https://xxll.co/polandContrology Pilates Conference in Brussels - https://xxll.co/brusselsSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsBrad Bizjack's Success Accelerator - https://beitpod.com/successThe Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid - https://a.co/d/4LmmMXAThe Empyrean Series by Rebecca Yarros - https://a.co/d/b1VxT1NLove Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant - https://a.co/d/e1J9w2YTiny Habits by BJ Fogg, PhD - https://a.co/d/4Ov1GNXWomen Waking Up by Wendy Valentine - https://a.co/d/08CWFHoMissionary Position by Celeste Holbrook - https://a.co/d/gXQBKeeThe Cycle of Galand by Edward W Robertson - https://a.co/d/94ZvPV4 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  Change does not take a long time to do. It actually happens in an instant when you have the leverage to create that change. For example, people in painful relationships who know they should take different action, but they don't, until something happens and all of a sudden the lever is actually pulled, right?Lesley Logan 0:18  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the compelling convo I had with another Brad. This is Brad Bizjack in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you did not get your life spiced up. You did not get extra dose of energy. You, you you need to, you have to go back. Brad Crowell 1:21  You're officially missing out. Lesley Logan 1:22  So you'll listen to us talk about him, and then go listen to that one. But you can't skip that one.Brad Crowell 1:27  Cannot skip it. It's a great interview, a great episode. Brad Bizjack is, he is, is very educated on emotional maturity.Lesley Logan 1:38  I think that's a good way of discussing it, yeah. Brad Crowell 1:40  And he, he explains in his programs, which Lesley and I have been students of, how we have connected the dots on things in a way that puts undue pressure on ourselves, right? So like success or security or all these amazing things that like we want and need and desire. But then, what is the like if we haven't laid it out properly, we end up feeling scared or afraid, or like a lot of pressure and all this kind of stuff. And that's why this his conversation was very compelling, because he also uses amazing. Lesley Logan 2:20  Acronyms. No, examples. Brad Crowell 2:23  Yeah examples and quips like short statements that are very thought-provoking. Loved it. Fantastic.Lesley Logan 2:31  No notes. Brad Crowell 2:32  Yeah, yeah, yeah.Lesley Logan 2:34  Well, we're gonna get into that in a second. But first Today is October 16th, National Spirit Day. Spirit Day is an annual observance that takes place on the third Thursday in October, and that's on October 16th this year. This day aims to create awareness for the bullying harassment that the LGBTQ community faces. Millions of people worldwide, identified as queer, and many more are yet to publicly declare their status. Such a large community, people shouldn't be alienated or marginalized just because of theire sexual orientation. But the reality, sadly, is that they are. All over the world, LGBTQ youth suffer harassment because of their identity. There is also a need for transgender individuals to have more protected rights. And so, you know, taking some time today to just see what's going on in your community and how you can support. I would even look up the people who are wanting if you're especially if you in a country where you can vote, look who's saying terrible things about these people and don't vote for them, period. Because here is the deal, it's not going to stop with them. It won't stop with them. If they take away all the rights of LGBTQ, where you live, they're not going to be like now we have the power we want, no, they'll come for someone, next. Brad Crowell 3:43  But it didn't start with them. That's the thing. And I think, I think that's the it's a misnomer that like, oh, wow, they're a huge problem. No, they're only a huge problem because they're the current topic of conversation, and they're and the problem is, is being well, it's being created in a way that it's not real. Right? So they're making it a problem. They're they're pretending that it's a problem because they need somebody to to alienate,Lesley Logan 4:07  Yeah, someone ha,s to be the thing that we all fear. And look, the word homosexual was not in the Bible till 1946, interesting, because I thought that was a work of of words that's been around for thouosands of years, right? So it was put in there to make you scared, to make you conform. And then in the 80s, they used the AIDS epidemic to get you scared and afraid of people and not even wanting to hug people. And now they want to make us all worried about the fucking sports. No one gave a rat's ass about women's sports and tell trans and there's like, 10 people in the NCAA sports that are trans. And when you there was a swimmer who was asked, like, are you worried about trans women in sports? She's just like, no, I'm worried about Republicans becoming Nazis. And I loved that quip. I loved it, because the reality is, is that, like, they're trying every. All of this is to scare you that there's someone different than you that is trying to take something away from you. And the reality is, is that, like bullying is rampant amongst everything. There is, I get bullying of I don't look this enough. I look too much of this. There's, everyone has it. But the reality is, is that there's a community that's getting it more right now, and it is dangerous. It's dangerous because we know that bullying costs lives. People, especially youth, will take their own lives and so it's.Brad Crowell 5:31  Dangerous on multiple levels. It's dangerous if there's an immediate danger, right? And that immediate danger is for people who are in the community that is being targeted. And currently what we're talking about is the LGBTQ community, but there's the, there's, that's the immediate danger, and then the long term danger is societally, right, because they aren't gonna, you know, somehow, like, it's not gonna stop with this community. When, when, when something, when, when the the public perception is finally, like, actually, we don't agree with you. Okay, then they're like, oh well, there's another community we need to be worried about, and they're just going to shift over to another community. They've done it. They've done it over and over and over and over. Lesley Logan 6:10  Yeah, they always do. It was the witches before this, which was just another word for women. And so my I bring, not to bring you all down, because we're gonna bring you back up again in just a second. But like, you have agency here. You can call your congress person. You can make sure that the school is do is taking action. You can also educate yourself, in case you have family members who are upset about it. Like there are ways to actually being in curiosity and ask the right questions that help them understand, you know, what is, to find out what are they afraid of? What are they so afraid of? And then we have to just also start loving more, because the other thing is, is that we just start getting mad at homophobic people, and that puts hate in our heart, and it doesn't make us any better than them. And so anyways, go observe Spirit Day. I love it. Brad Crowell 7:03  Yeah. Lesley Logan 7:04  Okay, we've announced the OPC tour, opc.me/tour so you can see all the dates. I would list all the cities off for you, but I don't have them today, while we're recording this. So they're up now, though they've been up for a couple of weeks, and you want to grab your spot. If you have any questions, let us know. But all workshops and workouts are for any lover of Pilates, new to very experienced and there are CECs, Balance Body is our sponsor. We are so, so excited about it. We're getting closer to you needing to be on that waitlist for Cambodia, because in January, you're gonna get the email that says, hey, hey, you want to get a discount on this? You're the only person who gets it if you're on the waitlist. We're in Cambodia right now.Brad Crowell 7:42  Yeah, actually, literally, Lesley and I are currently in Cambodia hosting a second retreat this year. Next year, we will only be having one retreat to Cambodia, and it will be in the fall, in October of next year, right? So if you want to be one of the group of people that can come, because it is limited, you got to be on the waitlist. Go to lesleylogan.co/retreats, that's plural, to get yourself on the wait list, you can find out all more more information on crowsnestretreats.com. But we will be making an announcement here soon, in January, about the early bird special. So prepare, stay prepared for that. Lesley Logan 8:17  Even if you hear it here, you still have to have the link in the email. So get on the waitlist. In a couple days, we're going to be in Singapore teaching a private event, and finally, seeing the Botanical Gardens. We're so, so excited about it. Brad Crowell 8:29  I'm so fired up about that. Lesley Logan 8:30  We've seen them from, like, a high up view, but we haven't actually been in them. And then, of course, we'll be on our winter tour. So that'll be five weeks long, almost like five weeks long, and then we come home for to unpack, and then we go to Huntington Beach to the Pilates Journal Expo, xxll.co/pilatesjournal, we'll get you links. We'll get you linked to the tickets.Brad Crowell 8:52  Yeah, go to xxll.co/pilatesjournal. Lesley Logan 8:55  There's a ton of people who are going to be there. I'm really excited about it. It's going to be like a reunion for me and some of these friends. So I can't wait, so you should come. And then in March, we're doing the Poland Controlology Pilates Conference. So Karen Frischmann and I are back in Wroclaw. Sorry, my Polish peeps, if I said that wrong, people try to teach you (inaudible) which is not it. It is not even close, I was like, but it's easier to say, it's like, well, that's not the name of your town. So we'll be there teaching a conference together, and then from there.Brad Crowell 9:23  So go to xxll.co/poland yeah.Lesley Logan 9:28  And then Karen, Brad and I are gonna like to-to-to through Europe until the following weekend. We'll be in Brussels. xxll.co/brussels.Brad Crowell 9:37  What do you think weigh in here, should we be saying xxll.co or should we be saying double X, double l dot co? What do you like? Think. Double X, double L? Double x, double l dot co. Lesley Logan 9:47  No, that's too hard. Brad Crowell 9:49  Double X double L. Lesley Logan 9:49  Because people might actually type in double.Brad Crowell 9:53  They might. Lesley Logan 9:53  They, our listeners would. Brad Crowell 9:55  But I, IKYKY. Lesley Logan 9:58  Yeah, but people say that. No one says. Brad Crowell 10:01  Double x, double l dot co. I'm making it a thing. Lesley Logan 10:04  No, xxll.co/brussels.Lesley Logan 10:07  I let you make OPC a thing. No, this is xxll.co or it should be xxll.co, maybe not saying the C-O, because the problem is, it just sounds like too many letters, and then I get overwhelmed. So at any rate, it's also in the show notes, you can just click it, Brussels. These are both in March, and then in April, we'll be at P.O.T. in London. Brad Crowell 10:27  Looking forward to that. Lesley Logan 10:28  Alright, we had an incredible question that was really fun, and, like, got us all chatting in the studio in between classes. Brad, so I thought I would bring the attendees from Essex question, because I just thought, let's talk about this.Brad Crowell 10:42  That's so fun. Okay, the question was, what non-Pilates books do you read? Lesley Logan 10:48  A lot. Brad Crowell 10:49  Okay. Lesley Logan 10:49  I don't read very many Pilates books anymore. I mean, there's only a couple good ones. So, okay.Brad Crowell 10:54  So let's talk about it. Do you prefer a specific type of genre of non-Pilates books? Lesley Logan 11:00  I love a good popcorn book. You know, a popcorn for your brain book. That's how my friend Sue and I talk about, like. Brad Crowell 11:04  What does that mean? Just like. Lesley Logan 11:05  You read the book and you get lost and like, it is not going to change the world. It's definitely not going to change your life. You can almost consume the book in like, two or three days. It's, it doesn't make, change your intelligence in any way. But it's like, it's like a little popcorn for your brain. The books are like, that would signify that as, like, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, that author, so good, that book, I read it in two days. I was like, I never have time to read. Right in two days, I have fucking plenty of time to read if I like the book. I don't. So I like that kind of genre, like a rom-com type book is like my go to but you and I are really into the Empyrean series. And I. Brad Crowell 11:45  We sure are. Lesley Logan 11:45  So I post. So I shared with this group. I said, oh, I'm deep in the Imperium series, because it's, like, a great way to, like, get lost in something. And the girls were like, The Fourth Wing, and I'm like, Yeah, I'm in. And they were like, okay, I've heard it's really good. So it's only making its way to the U.K. right now. At any rate. Brad Crowell 12:03  The Empyrean. E-M-P-Y-R-E-A-NLesley Logan 12:05  Yeah, so, Rebecca Sorrows. Brad Crowell 12:07  And yeah, no. Yarros. Rebecca Yarros, yeah.Lesley Logan 12:12  But I get this, so Yasmeen, she posted a picture and tagged me with The Fourth Wing and Tiny Habits. And she said, my recommended reading and I was like, never has anyone ever put those two books in the same like Recommended Reading section, for sure. So I shared it, and someone else was like, oh, are you reading that series? I said, Oh, I definitely am, and I recommend it all the time. And I got a recommendation for another series that's really good. So I haven't read it yet, so I can't tell you about it, but it's really quite fun to see how many people are in the (inaudible) people are into it. It's very, very good, look, it's, it's, it's gonna be it's like, what is it like, called? Romantic fantasy or it's like, what's the genre? Because it's fantasy, but it's not, if you don't read it with your kids, so it's got to have, like, another letter, another word. So while he's looking that up, I.Brad Crowell 13:03  They call it new adult fantasy romance or military fantasy.Lesley Logan 13:07  That's, no, that's, I would call it adult fantasy. That's what I would put it under. And it's great. I really, really like it. It's from a female, like, hero perspective. Brad Crowell 13:17  Oh, they call it romantasy. Lesley Logan 13:19  Romantasy. That's a better, that's good, that's romantasy. I also, other books that I recommend that are non-Pilates, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, obviously said Tiny Habits, The Big Leap you're never getting out of that one that was a must read every year. And I, I think we have some authors who had some books come out. Wendy Valentine had a book come out, The Midlife something. And Dr. Celeste had her book come out on like, Missionary Position. So I would say, like, if I've had an author on the pod with a book, I've probably read their book. Or if their book's not out yet, I read it afterwards. And I love those people so much, of course, I'm gonna love their book. But I also recommend, if you're always reading business books, you got to get into the romantic, fantasy. Romantasy. Brad Crowell 14:00  Romantasy. Lesley Logan 14:01  You do you got to get lost in something. Life is too serious. So anyways, those are my non-Pilates books that I can recommend to you right now. Brad Crowell 14:09  Okay, I have gotten into a new author recently. His name is Edward W Robertson. Lesley Logan 14:16  Why does he need a W? His last name is so long. Brad Crowell 14:21  He has written 73 books. Lesley Logan 14:23  There's 73 books in the series? Brad Crowell 14:25  There are, no, he's written multiple series about different things, but I have read 14 books of his so far. Oh, there's a whole nother one. No, I've read 17 books of his. So I've read the Cycles. He's got three Cycles, Cycles of Galland, Arawn and Scour, and basically they are perfectly in line with the other books I've talked about over the years on this pod. They are definitely a fantasy. Lesley Logan 14:48  Like Wheel of Time. Brad Crowell 14:50  Right. That's Robert Jordan, and there's another author I'm a big fan of, Michael, Michael J, What's his last name? Sullivan. Michael J. Sullivan. But this is Edward W Robertson. And what I what I really enjoyed about this was he's also created his own, you know, dynamic duo of these, you know, unlikely heroes, their kids in the in this, they start off in their late teens, and they, you know, end up becoming major players on the world stage over the, you know, length of these 10 books in the one series. The one cycle series is kind of the precursor to it. Another one is a double precursor to it. So he started off. Lesley Logan 15:27  I'm going to tell you, you overwhelm people when you said 14 books (inaudible). Brad Crowell 15:31  Sorry, just listen to them. It doesn't matter. There, it's not even about that. It's not about finishing them. There's just something really enjoyable about them. I think, I think it went through them in like, six or eight months, because they're, they're shorter than the the Wheel of Time stuff, you know? Lesley Logan 15:46  Well, there you go. And so there are your books. You guys get lost in a book, I promise you. It's it makes. Brad Crowell 15:51  You're gonna love it. Lesley Logan 15:52  It's so much more fun. You like different person on the other side. Okay. And also, if you don't want to spend money on it, go to your public library and get a library card. You can actually get audio books and iPad books through your local library. Okay?Brad Crowell 16:07  Yes, you can. If you have any questions for us, you should text them to us. Text them at 310-905-5534, or you can send them in through beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions or you can leave a win or a question and who knows they might end up on the pod.Lesley Logan 16:23  We need some wins.I want to share them on the pod. Okay, let's talk about Brad Bizjack.Brad Crowell 16:29  Well, stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about Brad Bizjack, and we're going to be reinvigorated by his enthusiasm for life. The guy is just amazing. So can't wait. Stick around. Brad Crowell 16:42  Welcome back. Let's talk about Brad Bizjack. Brad is a personal development expert and coach who helps people rewire limiting beliefs, toxic thought patterns and emotional blocks that have been holding them back from success and the fulfillment that they deserve. After starting his career buried in $92,000 worth of debt and struggling for years to get his business off the ground, Brad discovered the power of shifting identity and mindset. Today, he has built a multimillion dollar business served over 70,000 people worldwide, and teaches others how to break free from perfectionism, procrastination and fear so they can step fully into their potential. And I gotta say, there's nothing more be it than the things that he's teaching. It's amazing when you dig in. And Lesley and I have been we've gone through two of his programs. Lesley Logan 17:32  Yeah, he's got a program starting next week, so.Brad Crowell 17:34  Yeah, literally next week. And it's free. Lesley Logan 17:37  It's free. Brad Crowell 17:37  Yeah, you should totally do his free program. Lesley Logan 17:39  Five days. Brad Crowell 17:40  We started there.Lesley Logan 17:41  And also it's like, it happens in the morning for us. So obviously, in the you know, if you're not in Pacific, it's not early morning, it's gonna be some other time. But it was really nice to start in the morning. We go for a dog walk, and just be like, lit up on this dog walk. And you're like, yeah, I'm ready. And I, anything you say, like, oh, I can't do I don't know, or I got this, I can't do it. I'm stuck. I won't know how to do it. Well, he really kind of, like, breaks down, like, some of these stories we tell ourselves, and one of the things he says is, like, when you know what you want and why you want it, the how reveals itself. When you know what you want and why you want it, the how reveals itself. And. Brad Crowell 18:18  Yeah, because it, because, I think that's. Lesley Logan 18:20  I think most people don't know why. Brad Crowell 18:22  Yeah, but I think the easiest thing for people to get stuck on is, how am I going to do that? I might as well not even try.Lesley Logan 18:28  Right. Because, but also, I think they, they know one of the two, but not both, like they know why they want to do something, or they know what they want to do, but they don't know both and their why is so superficial? Well, because I want to make money. And it's like, okay, well, why do you want to make money? Like, you gotta, like, why do you want to do it? Like, I told the story in the U.K. about, like, why I love to teach Pilates, you know? Like, what my mission is. Why is my mission this? And then Linda was like, can you repeat that? And it was like, really cute. It was a long story, but the whole thing is, like, I'm so passionate about what that is. It makes it the h does reveal itself, because opportunities come up or like, people say, say something, and you're like, wait a minute, that is an entirely different industry. But I could do it like the how reveals our tours happen because we knew what we wanted to do. We knew why we wanted to do it. And then this person over here is like, I want to go on a book tour. I'm like, how can we go on a book tour? Right? So, like, I really, really love that. And then we talked about, like, he believes we get so caught up in seeking the how, but struggle to take action. And so it's just procrastination in disguise. And then he said this occurs because of overvaluing certainty. And man.Brad Crowell 19:41  This is like, this was like a mic drop, you know, the overvaluing of certainty. You know what that is, that's actually like, we think that having certainty is going to help us move forward, but when we, before, we get to the place where we feel certain, we get stuck.Lesley Logan 20:02  Or we, he said, like, we take little actions because we're very certain we can do those little things, but we don't take the big actions because we don't know what's going to happen with those. We don't know how that's going to play out or what the outcome will be. So we're like, oh, I'm just going to keep checking the box, checked my email, responded to these people, post it on social, but we're not, no one's actually like, okay, I'm gonna do a class. I'm gonna do pilates and (inaudible) like, because, like, no one comes. Like, I need to make sure everyone's gonna be there. Everything is certain. And oh my god, when we study with him, we did this five day series that you can do next week. We did a couple years ago. And when he told me about certainty and perfectionism. I fucking was like, I felt so called out. I was like, oh my god, this is my problem. I was like, recovering perfectionist. But then I like, let certainty in there. And certainty is just perfectionism, guys. So anyways, I have I really love this man so much. And he said we base our worth on external success, leading to a feeling of burnout, or that nothing feels like enough. And I think this happens a lot. In fact, on an OPC call today, one of the girls who's going through a teacher training so that she feels like burnt out on Pilates, and, you know, she's doing this thing, and we were talking about how like, because when you're in a training program, there's a lot of corrections, like the teachers are correcting you a lot because they want you to know all the things. They don't want you going off thinking you're perfect at it. They want you to know how to do it. You know, you thinking you'd have all these cues. And really it's all this external success, like, okay, when I look like the 100 I have made it, versus this internalization of like the Pilates practice, like the focus in a teacher training is so external. What does the exercise look like? Can you do it well that you end up feeling burnt out and like nothing's ever enough, like you're not good enough to do this. And so I just this, just happened an hour before we hit the record on this. And I feel this so so much, because we're, like, waiting for someone to validate who we are and what we're doing, instead of ourselves, like an internal version of, like, what success is. I love this.Brad Crowell 22:11  So, just so that y'all know, we actually have an invitation for you to join Brad's program, the five day program for free, that's called the Success Accelerator, and it starts in just a few days.Lesley Logan 22:21  It's on the 20th, so it's, this is Thursday. It's gonna start on Monday.Brad Crowell 22:26  The link's in the show notes, but you can go to beitpod.com/success, and like I said, it's free. Lesley and I did this program, and it was really, really impactful for us.Lesley Logan 22:36  Well, what did you like that he said? Brad Crowell 22:38  Yeah. So, Brad said, I just, I love that you had to clarify Brad husband versus Brad Bizjack on the call, I was laughing. Lesley Logan 22:49  I know, because I think I told a story, and I was like, my Brad husband. Brad Crowell 22:52  Yeah, yeah. Brad said, hey, change does not take a long time to do. It actually happens in an instant when you have the leverage to create that change, for example, people in painful relationships who know they should take different action, but they don't, until something happens and all of a sudden the lever is actually pulled, right? That leverage comes from changing at a higher, more fundamental level than just behaviors or capabilities, you can you can say when you have to change, when you are forced to change, right? And I think it's interesting, that's actually where lasting change comes above the line of lasting change. I don't know why. Like, I don't basically.Lesley Logan 23:39  Oh, it's because, like, people often, like, change, and they do a little thing and they go back. They like as, like, if there's a line, and, like, you got to cross the line, and people think, oh, it's gonna take forever to make this change. Like, it's gonna take forever to create a habit. And so they think it's gonna take forever to create a habit, and they do it for two days, and they end up on the other side of not having the habit. And then they have a couple days of habit, and it's actually like no, if you know who you what you want, why you want it, and you make the decision to change, you can actually change it, because it's an emotional thing in your brain that does this.Brad Crowell 24:10  Yeah, I, I've personally experienced this kind of requirement for change. This must change or bad things will happen when it came to smoking cigarettes, and everyone talks about how addicting, you know nicotine is, and they're not wrong, because unless you absolutely have to change, you probably won't, because it is addicting and it will pull you back in but I was singing and I was in a band, and I was smoking cigarettes, and I remember being on stage coughing into the mic because I couldn't sing my own songs that I had written. And it became immediately clear that day I have to choose, do I want to keep smoking, or do I want to keep singing? And that was, like, so easy to decide, because I was like, well, I love singing. I love being in a band. So therefore, goodbye smoking, you're gone, and that was it. That was like, the moment of, I must, I made it above the line of lasting change, and, and, and also, too, you know, sure, did I still have these moments of like, you know, like, like, habit of like, when I used to, you know, where I would be smoking on the card, right into the opposite, whatever, you know where it was. It was just a regular, consistent thing, and I was missing that, yes, but because it was like an easy thing to know I I actually want to sing. I want to sing more than I want to smoke in those moments of trial, it was still easy for me to fall back on the decision I had made, because it was an emotional decision. I was terrified of the idea that I wouldn't be able to perform, you know. So, you know, there, there is like this moment of have to do that will bring about that change, you know. So yeah.Lesley Logan 25:52  And I think that goes back to like you knew what you wanted and why you wanted it, and that made it, the how easier.Brad Crowell 25:57  I knew what and I knew why and then so the how involved not smoking, and that is what made it easy to do, yeah, that's a great, great callback there. I love that. So yeah, we love a callback. Yeah, that was impactful for me. And these are the kinds of things that Brad addresses, you know, on the five days. So, you know, definitely go check that out.Lesley Logan 26:18  I just think that like if you are, if you were lit up at all by his episode, why not? It's free. There's no replays like, why wouldn't even if you watch one day of his stuff, next week, you're going to learn something about yourself that's going to change your life. I still think about like the things that we learned in those five days, even if we didn't pay for the program, like, I still like, like, I was forced to, like, level up in a way, like I was, like, it was great. Brad Crowell 26:48  Yeah, yeah, the Success Accelerator. And then we went on to do another program of his called Rewired After, but the Success Accelerator was absolutely worth it, and yeah.Lesley Logan 26:59  Especially if you just, like, are going if you just have a hard time not talking yourself down, you need someone in your ear who talks you up. You just do. Anyways, we got to get into the Be It Action Items. Brad Crowell 27:09  Yeah, okay, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into these epic Be It Action Items from Brad Bizjack, we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 27:16  All right, finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Brad Bizjack, I'm going to jump in first here. He said he shared three primary ways to shift any belief pattern, and these are the things where I was talking about the have to do. So it was really interesting. He said you can introduce the idea of doubt, you can introduce pain, or you can introduce vision, right? And I think that vision is probably the easiest to talk about, right? That's the one that we. Lesley Logan 27:48  It feels more positive. Brad Crowell 27:49  It does feel more positive, you know. But doubt is something that will challenge a worldview, right? You know, when you have doubt, or when doubt is introduced, it really does start to make you analytical, analyze the thing that you might be doubting. You know, whether that is the way you were raised, or we've always done it this way, or this is the quote-unquote, right way to do it, or the right thing to do. You know, maybe there are other things that you know that that cause doubt. He suggested looking for evidence that challenges those beliefs. For example, if you think money is super hard to make, you can ask yourself the question, but is is that true for everyone? Some people have the the golden touch, as it were, right? We've all heard that, that expression, well, if money isn't hard to make for them, why? How come it's easy for them, but difficult for me, quote-unquote, difficult for me, right? Maybe that's the story I'm telling myself. Right? So how do we change that belief since we have evidence that it's that other people have been able to do it. So that's an interesting idea of introducing the concept of doubt. Two, pain. He said if you can see the consequences of what happens if you don't change and actually live those consequences in your mind, you will start to change. This was my lived experience. Pain, right? I did not want the pain of not being able to perform, not being able to sing, and I could see a life that I did not want if I kept going down the path that I was going out when it came to cigarettes, right? He used the Christmas carol story as an example for this. Scrooge didn't want to make unbearable pain. Didn't want to make change until unbearable pain was linked to staying the same, right? That's the Christmas story. Vision, finally, explain that the your beliefs shift when we create a vision that is vivid enough to excite us into new action, right? So, so like this is where a dream board can come into play, or, you know, vision casting, or you know, reflection, or taking a moment of to yourself, to, you know, to dwell on what the future could look like for you. You know that that can be motivating enough to create lasting change, to put you above that line of change. He said when we can be compelled by a beautiful vision of the future, it gives us a reason to overcome procrastination, or whatever it is that's holding us back, right? So I love that. I thought that was actually, I mean, these are the kinds of things that he just blows by, and why we wanted to talk about him again, because I listened to it, and I was like, whoa. That was, that was a lot right there. That was probably like, you know, he probably studied for like, six to 12 months to be able to concisely say that in two sentences and three sentences, and you were like, there's so much in there, we kind of have to break this down. This when you're when you listen back to the pod, there's so many snippets like that where you're like, whoa, that was profound. Whoa, that was deep. Whoa, that was really worth listening to twice. What about you, though? What was one of your biggest takeaways?Lesley Logan 30:40  So you have to be compelled by a beautiful vision of the future. You really do have to take that's why I like to do our retreats. I like to do some breath work, and like actually think about a year from now. But you need a beautiful vision of the future, because that's so compelling. And he also said, you otherwise will default to focusing on the past and the present. And people do this a lot.Brad Crowell 31:00  Sure.Lesley Logan 31:01  And it's why you're not actually seeing change, because the past and the present don't like that's that's done, and if you keep repeating it, you just get to keep repeating them. But it often becomes more painful because you didn't like, you liked part of it, or we didn't like it at all, and like now here you're feeling a little stuck. He also his bold advice is to have unreasonable dreams, unreasonable, unreasonable, and I do. It's really hard for my brain to do unreasonable dreams. It's extremely hard. But also, like it does force you to think about how you're going to achieve that in a different way, because it's so easy to go back to we talked about that itty bitty stuff, and like thinking it's gonna make a big difference, when really it's just keeping you the same. You kind of have to have an unreasonable dream, because it helps you take bigger action. And then he said taking full responsibility for making that happen. And that, taking full responsibility for making that happen. Lesley Logan 31:54  Wait, say that one more time. Lesley Logan 31:56  Taking full responsibility for making that happen. Whenever I do my schedule workshop or my habits workshop, the amount of people that are responsible for the reason why someone can't go for a walk in the morning. Brad Crowell 32:09  Oh, you mean the amount of excuses slash other people are the problem. Lesley Logan 32:14  Other people are. Brad Crowell 32:14  Not, not the person who's. Lesley Logan 32:16  Yeah, not the person who like has allowed people to take advantage of them, or they've been doing too much for other people, or they simply just didn't have, like, the vision in place to take the it's okay, it's okay to have gone like, oh, my god, I never realized I wanted to do that. And I have been making time for that, like, it's okay. You didn't. You know when you know better, you do better. So now you just got to take full responsibility for making that happen.Brad Crowell 32:39  Yeah, I love that I love the this is, this is step three, or the third, you know, way to create change, you know, with the vision casting, you know. And I think it's scary to dream big in that way, to have an unreasonable dream, it can be really scary because, you know, you I, I, this is part of my story on our business why we you know. When you don't, when you don't dream big, what you're actually doing is you're, you're giving yourself an out to fail and be satisfied with the results of the fail, and that's where I think the problem is. I think it's important to fail. You must fail, right. But we associate failure with mediocrity and pain, right? Instead of learning knowledge and a step further along the path towards success. When we associate failure with pain and mediocrity. It's easier not to have a vision for the future, because then you can't experience that quote-unquote, pain, right? And I know I did this because I would leave myself an out and say things like, it'll be nice if that ever happened for us, you know. But, but the but then it's like, you know, I would love for that to happen for us, but there's an inherent comma. But if it doesn't, I guess it's okay. I guess it was meant to be that this, it wasn't in the cards, whatever, whatever it is the, you know, the phrase that we want to insert there. And the reality is, it's not until you go, but even when, even if it doesn't happen tomorrow, or if it doesn't, you know, the failure will that will happen along this path I'm going to consider, I'm going to persist until I get to that place, you know.Lesley Logan 34:31  Yeah, well, I here's the thing. I think a lot of people weren't given the opportunity to fail. That's not the world that most of us went to school under. You had to pass, and if you didn't pass, you were, like, it was not okay. So like, I think if you are having a hard time being having an unreasonable goal or failing, then you must go to beitpod.com/success because you are going to hear that even Brad hasn't hit a single goal in six months or six years, I think, six years, six years, he hasn't had a single goal, maybe it's eight now at this point, since we met like and it's not because he hasn't tried hard or had great success. It's because he sets unreasonable goals for himself to make himself work harder than last time, and then they like reflect upon what they like, why they maybe didn't hit those goals, but like what they did do. And it's just really, really cool. So beitpod.com/success. Go take it. Go relisten to the episode. Get fired up. Let us know if you sign up for this program. Brad Crowell 35:27  Yeah. We want to know. We want to know. Lesley Logan 35:28  We'll probably even see you there. Brad Crowell 35:29  Yeah, I think we're gonna do it, too. Lesley Logan 35:30  Yeah. I love the classes. So at any rate, you're amazing. Brad's amazing. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Share it with three friends. Guess what, when your friends change, it makes it easier for you to change. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 35:44  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 35:45  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 36:27  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 36:32  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 36:36  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 36:44  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 36:47  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley Logan welcomes mindset coach Brad Bizjack for a conversation that digs deep into why so many high-achievers get stuck in surface-level strategies. Brad shares his journey from being buried in six-figure debt to building a multi-million-dollar business, and reveals the missing ingredient most people ignore when trying to change: identity. If you've been hustling without the results to show for it, this episode will challenge the way you think about success and who you believe yourself to be.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why over-studying and perfectionism often mask procrastination.How overvaluing certainty leads to playing small and staying stuck.The “line of lasting change” and why identity shapes your results.How doubt, pain, and vision are the three ways to shift limiting beliefs.Why your peer group and environment influence your habits and outcomes.Episode References/Links:Brad Bizjack's Website - https://www.bradbizjack.comBrad Bizjack's Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BradBizjackCoachingBrad Bizjack's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bradbizjackBrad Bizjack's Program: The Success Accelerator - https://beitpod.com/successTiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/hkmaWEOTim Robbins Events - https://www.tonyrobbins.comGuest Bio:Brad Bizjack is a personal development expert and a master mindset strategist. As a multi-7-figure CEO of a transformative coaching business, Brad boasts over a decade of experience in igniting human potential. His mission is clear and compelling: to awaken individuals to their boundless possibilities and empower them to create the extraordinary success and freedom they truly deserve. Having touched the lives of over 60,000 individuals across more than 40 countries, Brad is renowned for his ability to shatter mediocrity and inspire profound, lasting change. He excels in uncovering and dismantling the limiting beliefs and toxic thought patterns that lurk in the shadows of the mind, unlocking the doors to unprecedented achievement and fulfillment. Beyond his professional accolades, Brad is a devoted husband to his college sweetheart, Janiece, and a father to their 4 year old daughter Lily and dog Oliver. Together, they cherish their moments of joy and adventure, often found enjoying days on the lake, creating precious memories as a family. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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Very first call with that coach changed my life fundamentally forever. I was telling her, I'm doing all the podcasts, listening to the books, reading the books, I'm doing all the things. Why isn't it happening for me? I want this to work so bad. And she said, very calmly, Brad, you are so attached to success that you're missing the whole point. You're under the impression that you shouldn't be where you are right now. Business, success and money, it's never going to make you happy. It's rewiring your mind for happiness that'll make you successful. Lesley Logan 0:39  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:17  All right, babes, I'm keeping this quick because our guest day is gonna blow your mind. Get your notebooks out, get your pens out. Get ready to hit rewind. If you're driving in your car, make sure Siri listens to you so you can rewind whenever you need to because this episode is an episode I've wanted to have for over a year. For over a year I've wanted to have this episode. So, Brad Bizjack is our guest today, and we're gonna talk about perfectionism, certainty, achieve, being an achiever. And literally, how do you actually change your life? How do you actually be it till you see it? So stay tuned all the way to the end. You don't wanna miss it. Here's Brad Bizjack. Lesley Logan 1:52  All right, Be It babe. Get ready. Just get ready. I already know it's gonna be amazing. I'm so excited. I wanted this person on the pod, since I heard him on my old coach's pod. Here's the deal. I remember seeing this guy's name on my feed in several podcasts, okay? And I was like, okay, someone's doing a launch, that's fine. And then I saw him on my old coach's pod, and I was like, you know, I haven't listened to her pod for a while. I'm gonna listen to this guy so I'm walking through the streets of Cambodia right before we're out to have a retreat. And I listened to this thing, and I was like, oh my god I didn't realize I'm stuck. I'm, this is the feeling I'm having. I'm feeling stuck. So I'm gonna sign up for this. So I told Brad, my husband, Brad, I said, babe, I signed us up for a launch. I think I want to be launched at it's been a while, so let's do it. Let's just like, let's just go through someone's thing. Let's just get taught. Let's get our cup filled, and then we'll just see what kind of emails come through. Because of the timing, my husband actually was on Hong Kong time, meaning when we got back from Cambodia, he was up every day at 5am and your calls were at like, 6am our time, something early. Brad would never, ever he would have to watch replays. We dog walked every morning listening to you. And of course, the day that you're like, okay, I'm running this program. We're like, okay, we're the first to sign up. Like, we're already in, and we stuck with it for, like, whatever, six months, a year. It was amazing. So Brad Bizjack is our guest today, and the and the reason I wanted to have him on is because of what you're gonna hear right now. Brad, what do you rock at? Who are you? Tell us everything about you.Brad Bizjack 3:18  First of all, that was, like, the best way of getting into our each other's worlds I've ever heard like, what a crazy story. So grateful for the opportunity to be here. I help people rewire the limiting beliefs, toxic thought patterns, limiting emotional patterns that are getting in the way of the success, freedom and fulfillment they really deserve that they don't really go know are going on behind the scenes. So we help people identify that and shift that. Lesley Logan 3:41  I mean, I think that's there's so many people who need that. Like, that's.Brad Bizjack 3:45  Like everybody. Lesley Logan 3:45  Like everybody, most people don't know they need it. And the ones that do kind of get overwhelmed with, like, all of the things, like, they get involved in that perfectionism. Like, I gotta check this box. I gotta do this thing, and if I just read this one more book, then, then I will be fixed, right? Brad Bizjack 4:01  100% I think people will use over-studying as like procrastination in disguise and not even realize they're doing it just because they're overvaluing certainty. And we can go more into that if you want, but yeah, that's a very, very common thing we see. Lesley Logan 4:15  You are correct. I actually looked up like signs of imposter syndrome, right? And or the like, types of imposter syndrome, because, like, there's imposter syndrome, which is, like, you're new at something, so you are going to feel that way because you're new at something, and that's great. But also, then there's like, the imposter syndrome when you're, like, actually qualified to do things, but you're you're feeling like an imposter. And so I was teaching on this, and so I did some research, and one of the signs that you are causing that is that perfectionism. If I just get one more certificate, if I learn one more thing, if I study this, and I'm a Pilates instructor who teaches Pilates instructors, and they'll go, I can't take your business class, because, actually, I needed to study this Wunda Chair. And I'm like, no one even knows what a Wunda Chair is, like until they know what Pilates is, like, no one cares. You need to know how to run a business that doesn't burn you out. Like, but you but people will overwhelm themselves. So can we talk about that perfectionism, certainty, like, what it what is, what are the signs that people are doing these things? Because I think sometimes they don't even see it in themselves. Brad Bizjack 5:13  Yeah, I think, you know, when we talk about rewiring limiting beliefs and toxic thoughts, like you said, I don't think people know they're doing it. But if anyone's ever been in a situation where they know they want their life to change and they just can't get themselves to take action, or there's a limiting behavior they participate in and they don't know why they do it, even though it's not serving them, or they know exactly what to do and they're procrastinating consistently. Or they're in a spot where they just can't get themselves to move and they see their laptop staring at them, begging them to change their life, and even though they care so much, they just don't care in the moment. And there's this piece of you that says, I know I'm meant for so much more than what I'm getting right now, but for some reason, I can't get myself to move or take action. Any of those are some of the most common symptoms that I see. But there's also one on the flip side, and that's calling out all the achievers in the room, the people that have taken the action or forced themselves through willpower to get moving. Those people end up basing their worth on more, more success, more money. And so it feels like their worth is a moving target. So they'll bounce from goal to goal, peak to peak, to do list, to to do list. Nothing feels like enough, and everything they do just feels like they're battling burnout. So if you're in a spot where you either are constantly seeking the how, which is basically exactly what we were just talking about, glorified procrastination, and let me actually backtrack on this a little bit, because I think it's really important, we need to know the how, just not right away, right? You can't head east looking for the sunset, right? It doesn't work that way. And so when you know what you want and why you want it, the how reveals itself, but when you get so caught up in seeking the how, because of living in this fear of not being certain, then you end up just tiptoeing around the edges of your dream, playing not to lose instead of playing to win. So any action you do take is you mistaking movement for achievement, and you'll take little, itty bitty actions instead of the ones that will actually yield results. And so you feel like you're spending all day on this dream, but you're not getting anywhere. And the main reason is because you are overvaluing certainty at a very high level, which is really what perfectionism is. It just means that you are afraid of what happens if you're not totally certain, and that somehow it's going to mean that you're unworthy. If you think about the human brain, its job is not to make you happy, its job is to make sure you survive. And you see people all the time saying, well, I self-sabotage. I get in my own way. Well, it's physically impossible to self-sabotage. Think about it. Your brain is a survivalist. Its job is to keep you alive. So why would it ever cause you harm? What's actually happening is you're just meeting a need, and the survival-based need that's embedded into all of our DNA is the need for certainty. And when you overvalue certainty. What actually happens is like, think about it, millions of years ago, you weren't worried about building your Pilates business or whatever it is. You were worried about the saber tooth tiger that was hiding in the bushes that was going to eat your baby, right? You you didn't have the these you weren't worried about success and fulfillment. You were worried about staying alive. Well, we don't have the same threats, but we do have the same mind. And so we link up putting ourselves out there on social or starting a podcast or sending an email or prospecting whatever, or starting a new fitness regimen. We we link it up as a survival-based threat when it's not, it's just misplaced. And so that's what a lot of people do. And I see people over-study all day long, and they use personal development as a way to escape developing personally, and it just gets in their own way.Lesley Logan 8:51  Oh my God. Everyone hit rewind. That was the most amazing, that is the most amazing thing I've heard. And I also think, like, what a great clip. And like, we can it's a great question to ask yourself, like, am I, am I doing this to escape, you know, am I? Am I? Am I working on this thing one more time? Tweak to to busy ourselves from what it actually is, which is the change we have to make. And change is really difficult. It, I don't, I don't, I actually want to say, I don't know that change is actually that difficult. Because, from what I understand about studying habits and mindset, right? So during the pandemic, I was like, I need to figure out why like, some people make a habit and some people don't like what's going on here. And also, I had a great yoga teacher who was like, that, we always wanna make things that are right or wrong, bad or good. And he's like, actually, that's not how the world works, like because if it's serving you like it could be bad for one person, but not for you, right? So I was like, okay, and I started with BJ Fogg, and he said there's no such thing as a bad habit. Every single thing we do is serving our mind. Our mind actually, truly lives off of what makes us feel good. And, so if you're like, but I hate scrolling, it's a bad habit, right? But you, when you scroll, something is happening in your mind that is giving you relief, excitement, joy, or it could even just be like, like, you can just like, exhale, right? So your brain isn't doesn't know bad or good. It knows shame and judgment doesn't make me feel good, and these things make me feel good, and so we actually create habits instantly based on emotions. So that's why I think that change isn't hard if we know how our brain works. Brad Bizjack 10:31  100%. If you think about change, change does not take a long time to do. It actually happens in an instant when you actually have the leverage to create change, right? Like so many people have had a time in their lives when they've dealt with a really painful situation, like a tough relationship, or, let's say, let's say that they weren't exercising or eating well, or so anything like that, and they've known that they should take a different action, but they haven't gotten themselves to do it until one day when something happens, and all of a sudden, some lever is pulled, and all of a sudden it's easy and it's not hard anymore. It's because in the moment, you started shifting the beliefs and the emotions that were going on behind the scenes to create leverage to actually move, and there's actually a reason why this happens. And I'm happy to dive into how behavior change actually works in people. If you want me to dive deep into that, I can. But if we think so, let's say most people, most people, if you imagine like a big triangle with different like levels in this triangle, at the very base of this triangle is your 3D environment or your results. This is really how life is. Now, most people don't recognize that all of life is cause and effect, everything. And if you obsess over the effect, you forget the cause. And if you don't focus on the cause, you can no longer influence the effect. Well, most people think that their life circumstances are the cause of how they feel, how they live, everything. They think, I don't have this money, therefore I can't be happy. I can't take different action. I can't grow a big business. I don't have a big business, therefore I can't ask people to join my business, right? It's, it's backwards thinking. It's once I have a different life, then I can take a different action. So what most people end up doing is they sit around complaining about their circumstances. And the challenge with complaining is you only complain about things that you could change. You're just too afraid to, right? So you don't complain about gravity. You complain about money. Well, money is something you can make right now if you want to, you can attract it anytime you want to. So it starts at the bottom of this pyramid with your 3D environment and your results. Now most people, they think that if they focus on what's not happening in their life, somehow magically, it's going to change, and it doesn't. If I could give one calling to everybody here, it's the fact that you are 100% responsible for every single part of your life, even the parts that are not your fault. Now before you want to punch me in the face, let me explain, right? I don't mean that that thing that happened in your life is your fault. You are not to blame. Blame focuses on the past and what went wrong. Responsibility means the ability to respond. This is how I'm going to perceive it, move about it, go forward in the future. And that's everyone's responsibility, regardless of what happened in your life. So once you start taking responsibility for your life, you start trying to impact the cause of a different 3D environment of results, and you step up one level in that pyramid to behaviors and habits. And most people, they try to form a habit. It takes 21 days to form a habit. You see all this stuff, well, how many people listening have ever done really, really good for about two or three weeks, and then all of a sudden they fall off? There's a reason why. Because when you try to change at a behavior level, meaning, take a different action, which isn't a bad thing. It's not bad if you want to, let's say, lose weight or gain weight, or whatever your goals are, if you take a different action, it will yield a different result when done consistently over time. The problem is that when you try to change at a behavior level, you have to negotiate with the mind. You automatically question if you are capable of making it happen. So it feels like this constant fight, and you have to rely on willpower. Willpower is push motivation, right, and we all use willpower sometimes. Nothing wrong with willpower. But if you rely on it, it leads to one thing, and that is burnout. We need to get to a place of pull, where hard work isn't hard work, where you just move. So when you are changing, from a behavior perspective, you're wanting to know, am I doing it right? You're seeking the strategy first, the how, right, and when you crave the how over crave the how, you likely don't actually take the actions that will yield the results. So what influences our behaviors and habits? Go one level higher, and that is your capability. And most people don't recognize what's influencing their capability are three things. Number one is what you consume. If you consume social media gossip on a daily basis, that's not really going to help your sales habit, right? If you can consume news media, that's not going to really help with practicing gratitude, right? It's going to hurt it. So number one is what you consume, because whatever goes in your eyes and ears comes out your mouth, and it leads to the second thing, which is skills. You, let's say that you're still that you're trying to grow a business, and the habit you're trying to deploy is consistent sales or prospecting or marketing? Well, you need to study sales and marketing. The skills of those things are required to change the habits and therefore change the environment. And so we need different skills. If your skills that you're studying is okay, I just want to learn how to bake cakes, but your goal is to grow a business, well, it's mismatched, right? But the third thing that's most powerful, is, that it influences your capability, is your peer group. Your life is a direct reflection of the expectations of the people you surround yourself with. And we can have a whole freaking podcast episode on this alone. It's so important. So these three levels are temporary behavior change. Anything at the skill at the capability level, behavior level and 3D environment level, it doesn't seem to last. And if it ever does, it's because we're changing at a higher level than that. And so it's not bad to change these things. Your capability does influence your behaviors and habits, and that does influence your environment, but it never, most people never decide to change above the line of lasting change, which is what influences all of this. Before I go into that, you seem like you have thoughts, my friend.Lesley Logan 16:53  Well, I just, I do, because you just said, like, most people don't go above the line of lasting change. And I think, like, that intrigues me, because it's like, are we saying that like, they'll do enough, they start to get going, and then they, like, revert back, or they just kind of stay at this place that's like, good enough. Like, tell me what the line of lasting change is.Brad Bizjack 17:14  Well, the strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with who you already think you are. Lesley Logan 17:20  Oh, yes. Brad Bizjack 17:21  And so if you believe or identify as a failure or think that money is hard to make, you can try all day long to change, but you're gonna go back. You're gonna find a way, because life will, whatever you believe, will determine the level of potential you tap into. That determines the actions you do or don't take and how well you do them. That determines your results, and it literally reinforces what you believe. That's why, right above this line of lasting change, if you actually want to make change, it's your beliefs and values that's that's the next step, that's what actually influences lasting change. So you mentioned, do people go back? They'll go back to what they believe, what they value, and how they identify always, they'll find a way. And so before I explain that, does that make sense so far? Lesley Logan 18:07  Yeah, that does. And I think, like, where I, where I, like, my brain is like, okay, so I also know that the brain is like, dissonance. So if, if, if I, if I think I'm a failure, but I just have to walk around going, I'm not a failure. I'm not a failure. Like, I don't know, like, I don't know that that is like, the answer, right? Like, so how do I go from like, seeing myself and believing that I'm a failure and then actually truly seeing myself in value that I'm not a failure?Brad Bizjack 18:35  Yeah, there's three ways to shift any belief pattern. Number one is doubt, right? If you introduce doubt to this and so that is real life examples, right? If, let's use the example of money is hard to make, right? That's a belief that a lot of people have. Well, if that is the belief, what evidence do you currently have supporting that? Because you're likely overly focusing on it. If you introduce doubt to that belief and say, well, not hard for John. It's not hard for Lesley, like and you surround yourself with evidence. Is that actually true? Or is that something that I was just told growing up? Rich people are greedy. Is that actually true or if I take a look around at all the people that I know that have money, they're the ones giving the most to charities, right? So it's evidence that shows that that belief is false. But the challenge with this is changing at a logical level is very, very hard, right? If most people don't recognize that, it's next to impossible to logic and reason your way out of anxiety. It just makes the anxiety worse. It's because it's, at a nervous system level, it responds, your body responds way faster than thoughts ever will. So we need to change our beliefs in other ways, and that is pain. We talked earlier about how people like how change is not really that hard once you have leverage, if you can see the consequences of what happens if you don't change, a nd actually live those consequences in your mind, you will start to change. I was at a Tony Robbins event years ago, and he shared something that really made an impact on how I viewed behavior change. And he used the example of a Christmas carol, Ebenezer Scrooge, right? And how he's a total butt head, super mean to all these people, because he thinks that that's why he's successful. It's not why he's successful. It's not why he's successful. He's brilliant, he works hard, all these things. And his life was going pretty bad, and he just kept on going until three until one night, three neuro associative conditioning specialists showed up at his house that goes to Christmas past, present and future, and they linked up unbearable pain to the way that he's lived up until now, the way that he's living and what his life will look like if he keeps living that way. And when you're boxing from the left, from the right and behind you, guess what you move. Most people value comfort and safety and certainty, so they don't want to give themselves a healthy dose of pain. They don't want to see the consequences of consistently doing it this way. And people are like, well, I know the consequence is going to hurt me. It's going to hurt my kids. Everyone has a leverage point, but sometimes that leverage point isn't your stereotypical oh, it's going to hurt my finances. Oh, it's going to hurt my kids. Your job is to find out what it is that you actually will have in your life that's going to cause you pain that you care about, that'll get you to move. That's the second way to create a change. The third is vision. Human beings are driven by their need to avoid pain and gain pleasure, right? What we just talked about is pain avoidance, and that's very strong, and typically the most strong, but we're also driven by pleasure, and when we can be compelled by a beautiful vision of the future, it gives us a reason to overcome this. So if we think about what identity is, the identity of I'm a failure, that is just a strongly held belief, right? So beliefs and values. Beliefs are just feelings of certainty. That's all it is. And a value is an emotional state you live in, and value feeling, right? So if we think about a belief as let's use the example of the sky is blue, most people think that. But what about during sunset? What about at night? What about sunrise? What about when it's raining? What about the scientific answer that it's not any color, right? It introduces doubt. So we have these beliefs based on evidence in our life, whether that is our upbringing, trauma, consistent results that reinforce this feeling of certainty, until we introduce uncertainty to that certainty. So it's so interesting, the thing that you're craving the most of, certainty, that's the very thing that's keeping you in the exact same spot, right? If we look at it from a values perspective, most people don't recognize they have values conflicts going on, right? Most people value success, but they equally value avoiding rejection, and so that's going to create conflict. And all of this rolls up into your identity, who you think you are. So those three things, shifting the identity through doubt, pain, and there's other ways too, and vision, shifting your beliefs and shifting your values that automatically influence your capabilities, automatically influences your behaviors and habits, cascades down right into different results. And we can do a real life example, or we can move on. But the whole point is, most people just fall back to where they are because they have a belief at a fundamental level, this is who I am, and your brain will always default to going back there. Lesley Logan 23:18  Yeah, I do want to do a real quick example, but I want to say, like, probably not a decade ago, but a long time ago, I was listening to a podcast, and I really, really so wish I could find this episode, but it was talking about how, scientifically, they can prove that your brain will tell your body exactly what you're thinking. So they actually took these people and they told them they were going to brand them. They put them in a room. They blindfolded them. They had the fire making the noise, they had the sizzling. They said, This is what the branding is going to look like. This is what it's going to be like. This is going to happen to you. Then they like, did the sizzle, then they touch them with a pen. And some people's arms developed a like a sore, a redness mark in the shape of the branding that they said they were not branded. No one was hurt doing this thing. But it's a scientific experiment, and they have also studied people who like, if you tell yourself, I'm I'm fat, and you're someone who is wanting to lose weight, that's a journey you want to go on. They have actually seen that those people do produce more fat, have bigger fat cells, all these different things, versus people who don't have a judgment about how they look. Their cells look quite different. Another study they did was a guy, a doctor, who wanted to know if I scrape a knee or if I drain a knee, which one of those things is actually helping these people's knee issues, right? So they had to take three groups. Had to take a group of people who needed this, but they did nothing to. They had to take a group of people that they just drained, and they had a group of people that they just like, scraped right. Every single person got put under, got the same music, was told what the surgery was going to be like, and then they waited to see what happened. And the people who had nothing to their knee, nothing, no draining, no scraping, they did two little pricks, put 'em under, play the surgical video while they're in anesthesia, they had the same results as people who had anything done. And so is this point that, like, our brains are so powerful, they literally tell us things. And so it's so important what we are telling ourselves that we have to know. So I just wanna, like, highlight everything you said, because it is really, is really important that we, we tell ourselves the things we actually want to hear we want our body to do. Yeah.Brad Bizjack 25:31  Well, you know what's interesting, too. Have you ever noticed that when a lot of people do affirmations, it doesn't really stick? Why? Have you ever thought why that is and it it's because they're not telling themselves powerfully. When you are about to have a surgery or something like that, and you tell and the brain genuinely thinks something is going to happen, it is just like you said, so incredibly powerful, so powerful because the belief is held so strongly that this is going to happen. That's how powerful your brain is. But what we typically do when someone pulls like an affirmation card, right, and it says, I am worthy, and your brain goes bullshit, right? Or I am abundant. Have you seen your bank account? It's because it's done through less conviction and certainty. It's done through the lens of basically being passive. And so if you think about all these scenarios, these scenarios are from a place of this is it's almost like this is fact, where a belief is being communicated with absolute conviction. And so to the degree in which you can be convicted in your statements about yourself, that's the degree that behavior change happens. And once you do your brain just it goes to war for who you think you are or what you think is going to happen. That's why, when someone is in a space where you identify them as a success story, the worst things in the world could be happening for them, and you know without a doubt, they'll be completely fine. They'll figure it out. Because you always default back to what you feel most convicted about.Lesley Logan 27:05  Yeah, real life, example, and, and if it's possible, I, we didn't do this. We didn't actually talk about, like, how you got to, how you got to be so amazing. (inaudible) Just in case, people think, oh my god, easy for you to say, Brad. Like, life must be so easy for you. Like, you know, like, I think some people again, the brain is like, okay, well, Lesley and Brad just have it together. Everything works out for them. Somebody, okay, really quick. So I have a bot that is trained up 10 million of my words. And someone asked it like, have you ever had to handle a setback? And my bot thankfully said, yeah, daily, yeah. So anyways, go ahead.Brad Bizjack 27:43  So I'll share kind of a little bit of backstory. I was, came out, out of college, $92,000 in debt, and at that stage in my life, I wanted more money. I wanted to be able to add avocado without having to worry about overdraft in my bank account, right? Like, that's what I really wanted. And I found online business, and I was like, this is going to change my financial circumstances. But really what I wanted at that stage in my life was to be the breaking point of mediocrity in my family history. I wanted something I could chase after, and so online business was my ticket. A lot of people have other vehicles. That was mine. There was just one problem. It didn't work. I spent seven years, eight years, never making more than $24,000 a year as a group fitness instructor trying to get a business off the ground. I also had a corporate job, and I'll share a little bit of backstory with that in just a moment, but I would try to get this thing off the ground, and it didn't, It didn't happen. And so my mentor told me, dude, you need a mindset coach. What you're doing clearly isn't working. And I was like, but I'm $92,000 in debt. There's no way that I can hire a coach. And she's like, I'm gonna tell you, man, if nothing changes, nothing changes. So I maxed out a credit card, went $98,000 in debt, hired a coach. Very first call with that coach changed my life, fundamentally, forever. I was telling her, I'm doing all the podcasts, listening to the books, reading the books, I'm doing all the things. Why isn't it happening for me? I want this to work so bad. And she said, very calmly, Brad, you are so attached to success that you're missing the whole point. You're under the impression that you shouldn't be where you are right now. Business success and money, it's never going to make you happy. It's rewiring your mind for happiness that'll make you successful. At that stage, I was resenting everything in my life. I was saying it was wrong in some way. I wasn't seeing life happening for me. So I bought a ticket to a conference to really work on shifting my beliefs. I didn't have this technology back then. I didn't understand all this stuff back then, I just knew I needed, I just knew I needed to change my mindset. That's all I labeled it as back then. And I remember buying the plane ticket, hotel, all that stuff in San Diego, and about a month before that event, I got fired from my job. Now I'm $98,000 in debt now. No income, no savings. But luckily, I had that plane ticket, and I fly across the country, land in San Diego, go to the grocery store, buy peanut butter and jelly, like I did 100 times a day at that point. And I overdrafted my bank account on peanut butter and jelly, and it was just this, this place of defeat, where I just felt like nothing was ever gonna change, and I walk into that conference tail between my legs, and the topic that day was all about how the human mind works, and shifting your belief systems and identities and values and all these things. And it changed everything. We went on to pay off that 100 grand in debt within a year, we retired my wife from corporate America, we built up a million, multimillion dollar per year business. We've served 70,000 people all over the world. And now we have a little girl, and I'm going to be the dad that I want to be for her, and be at every single every single dance recital, or baseball or whatever it is. And it was because of shifting above the line of lasting change. It was because I had the courage to look at those things that most people avoid. And that's my calling to everybody here. And so if we do a real world example of this pyramid, that's literally what I did. If we look at the left side like, imagine that, that pyramid, that triangle, one identity is, I'm a failure right? Well, cascade that down. What does a failure believe? Success will never happen. Money is hard to make. What does a failure value? They value security. They value safety, right? So what does that do to my capabilities? What am I going to study if I believe I'm a failure? The news, social media. Who am I going to surround myself with other people that identify as failures to prove these beliefs true. So what happens to my habits? I'll just go through my day. I'll grab a beer at the end of the day, sit in the couch feeling sorry for myself, watching Friends reruns. And so what happens to my environment? Same overdraft, same bank account issues. That was my life. When I shifted this, everything going on behind the scenes, and started identifying as, let's use the example of a successful entrepreneur, right, just as an example. Or let's just use I am successful, right? Well, what's a belief system that comes from someone that identifies as successful? Money flows to me, or, you know, business is service, things like that. What does a successful person value? They value success, freedom, love, contribution, awesome. So let's go down to capabilities. What skills am I studying? Persuasion, marketing, sales. Okay, what, what am I consuming? Positive, uplifting books and videos and things like that. I'm not spending my time on social media and all that stuff and wasting my brain away comparing to the to the world. Who am I surrounded by? People that have what I want. So then what cascades into behaviors and habits? I'm focusing on the most important activities, the marketing, the sales. I'm making, the offers I'm putting myself out there in the world. So what happens to my environment? Naturally make more money, naturally serve more people. It all, it all cascades. So the whole point of all of this is my life didn't change until I changed above the line of lasting change. And it's very easy to look at success stories or people that have some semblance of what you want in any capacity and see, okay, yeah, easy for you to say monster man, but it doesn't look at the years and years and years of struggle that it took for me to get to a point where change became a must, and, and that's so that's how everything kind of, kind of shook out. Lesley Logan 33:30  I, thank you for sharing that. And also, like, I'm sure everyone heard like, the be it till you see it in that like, in just like, okay, so if you are, you took the first triangle, like, I'm failure, I'm poor, whatever. You go through, like, that's where you were at. And then you take the triangle that you want to be, if I am a successful person. These are the skill sets. This is the mindset. These are people I'm hanging out with. That's be it till you see it, right. Like, that's truly like, why this podcast exists and, like, why I get so excited. Because as I hear you tell that story, I can think of the times, like, all, all the amazing times I had in my life that took me the next level. I did those things, right? Like there was a day, so I was homeless, and that really without address. I had couches to surf on. I had totaled my car leaving my ex's house. So that's fun. And the studio that I rented space for was closing, so now I have no place to teach my clients. I have one month to find a new place. I don't have a place I actually live. So that's a problem, because I need to live, I lived in L.A., so I need to live where I'm going to teach, right? And then I have no car. So I'm at Whole Foods, because, you know, when you, when you're living off credit cards, you go to Whole Foods for a salad, guys. And I'm, I'm at Whole Foods, and I get a phone call, and I don't I never answer my phone, but I answered my phone and it's like, hi, this is Los Angeles Magazine. Congratulations. You're the best Pilates instructor in Los Angeles. You're gonna be in the next issue one of I do this thing, and I'm like, sitting there and like, the clothes I've been in since the morning, because I have not made it to the gym yet where I can shower. And I'm like, wow, I, how did, I thought people paid for this, like, I thought, like, I didn't pay for this. Do you have the right phone number? They're like, nope. We went to your class and you were voted and, like, you got this. And I was like, oh, amazing. That's so amazing. I sat there, and I'm like, holy moly. Like, I'm homeless. I have no place to all these things are happening. And I remember going, okay, well, I am now the best Pilates instructor in Los Angeles. So where does she teach, and where does she live, and who did she take to this party? And I did all those things. My life changed. Changed dramatically. You guys, I ended up, like, literally, making friends with someone who ended up my husband. I, like, I had one of the best studios and Pilates businesses in Los Angeles. Everything, everything changed because, like, I sat there and I was like, okay, I can sit here and, like, wallow in my sweat and my overdraft. I definitely wasn't probably on overdraft, but I was using a credit card. But, like, but, like, I can sit here in that or I can go, someone just deemed me the best Pilates instructor. So if they think I am, like, what would that person do, and how does that person act? And it changed my whole life. And then it happened again in 2020, and, like, it just so I sit here and I listen to you, and I'm like, my goodness, like, we can do this whenever we need to, and then it like, you don't have to wait. We can actually make these changes. And I think it's really so fun to listen to you, because you just get so I'm sure everyone's saying, like, get so excited. Go, oh, this change is possible. Like, you make it all possible. And so I just thank you. What are you most excited about right now?Brad Bizjack 36:20  Oh, man, right now I am excited for delivering people the insights of daily motivation that they need. I'm developing this entirely new thing that's super, super exciting to help people just have consistent motivation in their lives every day for this exact concept that we're talking about. And also taking my daughter to Disney, which is gonna be freaking cool.Lesley Logan 36:38  Oh my God, that's gonna be, I think you'll have, you'll probably have more fun memories thank she, that is so cool. That is so cool. Oh my gosh. Okay, bro, I could talk to you forever, truly, truly. But we're gonna take a brief break, and then we're gonna find out if people can, can, you know, stalk you in the best way and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 37:01  Alright, Brad, where do you hang out? Where can people work with you, if they want to do this with you, if they want more than 35 minutes to do in their ear, like, what can they do?Brad Bizjack 37:08  Yeah, absolutely. So, so in terms of just consistent places where I'm showing up, on the gram jam @BradBizjack, I had motivational tips there on an ongoing basis. But if you really want to take these concepts and make them real. This is actually really, really amazing timing, because starting next week, I have a five day challenge that literally does everything we're talking about and makes them real in your life. It's called the Success Accelerator. This program has helped over 70,000 people shift their beliefs and identities and values to help them become the very best version of themselves, the version that they really want to be. And so yeah, it starts next week. There's going to be a ton of people in there, if you want to see how high performers achieve their goals faster than all their peers, with less stress, if you want to see how do we take these principles and really bring them to life in real time, giving you real tactical things to do each day to really make this happen, come into the Success Accelerator Program, it's going to be really, really powerful. So those would be the two, two best ways.Lesley Logan 38:07  Awesome. Okay, so we'll put the link in the show notes. We'll also email to you guys, if you're on the podcast email list, Brad, my Brad and I did this. That's exactly the time at the beginning of the show. It was, it's absolutely wonderful. I'm telling you like I would do it again, just because I think it's so important to remind yourself, because there's always like, another thing you're like, oh, I didn't do that one. I didn't do that part. I got this part. So I think it's just so amazing what you do. And you guys, it is five, it is five days, but it's wonderful, and it's a great way to start your day. You're going to want to do it, and there's replays, so you can always watch it later if you have to work. Okay, you have given us a ton but, but we have to ask the question, bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted, steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us? Brad Bizjack 38:47  Oh, my goodness, this is such a good one. This is probably one of the things that I'm most excited about right now. I have a very interesting take on big dreams and big goals. A lot of people will say things like, be realistic and stuff like that. I am actually completely different. My, the number one thing that I believe is you have to be compelled by a beautiful vision of the future. Otherwise, you would, you'll default to focusing on the past and present. So number one, by the way, is unreasonable dreams and goals. In my opinion, that's number one, and then taking full responsibility for making that happen. I think a lot of people hold themselves back from doing that. And if you start there, and we'll talk a lot about this in the challenge next week on how to do that successfully, that'll go a long way in actually making them possible.Lesley Logan 39:33  I love that. We haven't had anyone we've had a few people say those smart, tangible gold blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and that's really, if you do, I got actual habit like, that makes sense. But like, for a vision, no, no one gets out of bed for a reasonable like, you know, like, if shit hits the fan and you have a reasonable goal to work on, you're just gonna work on the shit that hit the fan and not, like, the reasonable goal. So I fucking love that. Brad, you are awesome. You guys, please let us know how you're gonna use these tips in your life. What your favorite takeaways are, if you sign up for the Success Accelerator, I wanna know. I promise you it will be five days well spent. I'm telling you from experience. And send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Because, as Brad said, like the people we hang around, they affect us, and so if you don't want to lose them, they need to hear this so that they can level up as well with you. So, Brad, thank you so much. And until next time everyone, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 40:29  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 41:11  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 41:16  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 41:20  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 41:27  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 41:31  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Si te has propuesto mil veces hacer ejercicio, comer mejor, meditar o dejar el móvil por la noche… y siempre terminas abandonando, este episodio es para ti. No fallas porque seas débil. No es que te falte carácter. La ciencia sobre hábitos —de la mano de expertos como BJ Fogg, Charles Duhigg y James Clear— explica por qué casi todos tropezamos cuando confiamos solo en la fuerza de voluntad y en la motivación inicial. En este episodio descubrirás: ✅ Por qué la motivación se agota tan rápido. ✅ Cómo la autocrítica y las expectativas irreales sabotean el cambio. ✅ El error de intentar cambiar sin integrar tu identidad. La próxima semana veremos cómo diseñar hábitos que se mantienen de verdad, sin depender de estar motivado todo el tiempo. 🔹 Si sientes que llevas tiempo intentándolo y no sabes cómo avanzar, puedes reservar una consulta gratuita en emocioteca.com/contacto. Te ayudaré a crear un camino de cambio realista y amable contigo. Escucha el episodio completo en la app de iVoox, o descubre todo el catálogo de iVoox Originals

Send us a textThis week on Project Weight Loss, we're talking about habit stacking — the easier way to create change without relying on willpower. From Franklin to BJ Fogg to James Clear, the wisdom is the same: small steps, stacked on what you already do, become powerful routines. As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” This week's quote:“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle Citations:·      Lally et al. (2010)  ·      Judah, Gardner & Aunger (2013)  ·      Kaushal & Rhodes (2015)  Let's go, let's get it done. Get more information at: http://projectweightloss.org

Anne-Laure Le Cunff: Tiny Experiments Anne-Laure Le Cunff is an award-winning neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and writer. She is the founder of Ness Labs and author of its widely read newsletter, a researcher at the ADHD Research Lab, and an advisor for the Applied Neuroscience Association. She is the author of Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World*. We all get into a rut sometimes. Once we notice we're in one, our tendency is to work really hard to get out of it. In this conversation, Anne-Laure and I explore how starting with something tiny is often the better bet. Key Points SMART goals assume we know exactly where we're heading. Most of the time, that's not clear. A tiny experiment focuses on outputs instead of outcomes. To build more comfort with uncertainty, find one small place to experiment. Our brain uses growth loops to constantly adjust our trajectory. We don't go in circles; we grow in circles. Improving growth isn't about knowledge or skill; it's thinking about your thinking, questioning your responses, and knowing your mind. A simple, 5-minute tool is Plus Minus Next. It surfaces what's working, what's not, and your next steps. Resources Mentioned Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World* by Anne-Laure Le Cunff Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376) How to Change Your Behavior, with BJ Fogg (episode 507) How to Create Space, with Juliet Funt (episode 540) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

This week we broke a golden rule and crossed podcast streams with a pair of excellent guests, Richard Shotton and MichaelAaron Flicker, hosts of the Behavioural Science for Brands podcast and co-authors of the soon-to-be released (and definitely-to-be brilliant) Hacking The Human Mind. Richard is, of course, returning for a record third appearance on Call To Action® although we have respectfully honoured his request to not be left alone with Giles. Responsible for opening industry eyes to the potential of behavioural science, Richard is the author of two books that serious marketing types like you and I could not do without – The Choice Factory and The Illusion of Choice. Alongside him today, as is so often the case, is MichaelAaron Flicker, founder and president of (Zeeenno-Sigh) XenoPsi Ventures, a brand incubator firm that helps out all kinds of companies with financial, marketing and intellectual capital. As well as co-hosting their pod, and co-authoring their book, they've completed a hattrick of Co's by co-founding the Consumer Behaviour Lab, where they apply their considerable collective knowledge to help make marketing smarter, better and less stinky. In an episode where we open the sunroof on the human mind and reveal there's much more to it than day dreams, crippling doubt and song lyrics from 1996, we hear from two of the field's most compelling experts on what it really takes for a brand to be chosen. This episode is proudly dedicated to Rory Sutherland.    Follow Richard and MichaelAaron on LinkedIn.   ///// Timestamps 08:27 - Reflections on Career Path and Pivots 10:09 - Richard's Tribute to Ozzy Osbourne 12:39 - How Richard and Michael Met 14:22 - The Concept Behind Their New Book 16:01 - Writing Process and Collaboration Insights 20:21 - Discussion on Haagen-Dazs and Country of Origin Effect 25:04 - The Power of Naming: Patagonian Toothfish vs. Chilean Sea Bass 30:07 - Marketing Confusion Between Marketing and Sales Their Book Recommendations are: Alchemy by Rory Sutherland Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg /////

From redefining “good” and “bad” habits to learning how empathy shapes teaching, Lesley and Brad recap their conversation with yoga teacher Anthony Benenati—founder of City Yoga, California's first Anusara studio, and now leads That's Not Yoga®. With over three decades of experience, Anthony has built a philosophy of meeting students where they are. Together they explore how ego, anger, and even curiosity can open the door to practice, and why the stories we carry and the language we use hold the power to shape growth. This episode invites you to pause, reflect, and ask: is this serving me?If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How Anthony's teaching shaped his philosophy of fitting yoga to the students.Brad's early yoga mishaps and how they reframed his view of the practice.Feeling like an "outsider" in Pilates and how sharing built deeper connections.Why empathy is the real skill teachers need in guiding students.Why desire, knowledge, and action are the non-negotiables for growth.Episode References/Links:UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/ukP.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagolandCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comeLevate Program - https://lesleylogan.co/elevateSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsAnthony Benenati's Website - https://thatsnotyoga.comGuilt vs. Shame by Brene Brown - https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guiltTiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/22NIHEI If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/ Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  There's a difference between saying something is bad and to lead to I'm bad, and asking yourself, is it serving me? If the answer is yes, fuck what people think. If it's a yes, and tomorrow it's a yes, and then the next week it's a yes, and then next month it's a no, then you make a change. Lesley Logan 0:22  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 1:05  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the authentic convo I had with Anthony Benenati in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you've missed out. Brad Crowell 1:16  You definitely missed out. Lesley Logan 1:18  I don't like to go around saying you made mistakes, but you did.Brad Crowell 1:20  You did. Lesley Logan 1:24  You don't suck or anything, but, all right, before I get into that, today is August 28th 2025 and it is National Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day. And on this day, of course, it's gonna say Rainbow Bridge twice. So the death of a beloved pet, whether it's the family dog, a furry kitty, or something a little more obscure, is a sad occasion. Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day on August 28th is the day that we remember the pets that are no longer with us. Whilst the pain of losing a pet, you can't laugh while we're talking about dead dogs, babe, but we are laughing because Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day is a day we remember our pets. We got that from remembrance, you know, like we got it, okay, anyways. Whilst the pain of losing a pet somewhat heals over time, they're never forgotten, and today is their day. The day was founded by author Deborah Barnes as a way for people to share their memories of the pets that they have lost, whether it's a dog, a hamster or a snake, or, you know, anything in between. Oh, maybe this is the day that we maybe actually like say it. Brad Crowell 2:32  That's what I was thinking. Lesley Logan 2:34  Okay, well, do you want to say it?Brad Crowell 2:36  Yeah, I do. Also, I think it's great that it's in the month of August. Lesley Logan 2:40  I know it's like we knew. Brad Crowell 2:42  If you didn't know, Lesley and I have only one dog now, and it's been a couple of months that we lost August as well. And when I say as well, what I mean is last year, we lost Gaia towards the end of the year, and then about six months later, we also lost August, and that was really, really challenging, and not something that we talk about very often.Lesley Logan 3:08  I know well, because there's a difference, and I think that's what was important about this day. And like, if you needed this day, it's like, there's something it was something easier. I mean, it felt really hard at the time when we had to, like, make a day to say goodbye to Gaia, you know, like we, we knew for years the day was coming, and we could see it was time. And we had a different situation with August, where it was just like, oh. Brad Crowell 3:33  It was unexpected. It was sudden. Lesley Logan 3:35  This is happening to this is happening today, and that's, that, like, that's just not enough time for your brain to like, not that we miss him differently, but we, I do, like, it's just a different grief. It felt like a different grief. Brad Crowell 3:48  It felt like a different grief. I felt like with Gaia, I had a lot more opportunity to say goodbye ahead of time, you know. And then when when it was gone, it was fond memories. With August, it felt like shock and sadness.Lesley Logan 4:11  Yeah, yeah. I mean, with and with her, like, I felt like, okay, she's gonna be better. Because, like, she was just having a hard time being alive. And he was so young, so that just felt like it was it was hard, it was awful. We didn't talk about it, because there's when you when you share, that someone passes away, or a pet passes away, there's an outpouring of love because of this world we live in. Like, you can say what you want about the negative sides of social media. But the positive sides are like, insane. It's like, it's like the people from your life 10 years ago, and because people have had pets like, they feel it. When you lose a pet and you see someone like you feel that loss with them. Because you know what it feels like and like, in no way were we capable of handling any I'm sorry, like I couldn't and, like, even now we're getting teary eyed. So anyways, we have one amazing dog, and we, if you know this about OPC, well, all of our companies do a little donation to a charity. It's built into all of our products and our profit margins and OPC, this year, I chose a dog charity down because they get like, 500 animals, like, a week, and like, they're trying really hard to be a no kill shelter, and I, and we can't I, like, literally, look at dogs Brad, like, look at this one. Like, we're gonna, like, we're gonna take this on. And as much as, like, oh, that fills this hole. Then I'm, like, it doesn't fill the hole. So, like, anyways, National Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day to for from our hearts to all of yours who've lost a pet, it's so hard. So anyways, okay, so in other news. Brad Crowell 5:51  In other news.Lesley Logan 5:52  We are back from our tour, as you heard last time, but we are literally leaving in like four days to go to the U.K., and we opened up ala carte workshops, which means that if you can't take a whole day off with us, it's quite possible there is a spot left in a workshop. So we just took the day passes and allowed people to buy a workshop. So there might be one or two workshops that you can snag your spot. And so go to opc.me/uk because we're going to be in Essex and Leeds, and I don't know when we'll be back teaching in the U.K., but I know we're gonna be there now, and it's gonna be so much fun. There's some great workshops. There's some business ones, there's some Pilates ones. They're for people who like us and love us and just wanna learn with us who are really, absolutely amazing. So thank you to our hosts from The Movement Base and Chapel Allerton Pilates. Then we come back and like, two weeks later, we leave for Chicagoland. We're going to be at a Balanced Body's POT and I'm teaching the Joe's gyms there. Brad is going to have, like, Brad just now was helping me with the booth, and that's it's in Burr Ridge, but they call it Chicagoland, and I like that. And from Chicagoland, we're going to go to Cambodia. And you know what? We've had people last minute join us, like we said, you could join like, two weeks before. So, crowsnestretreats.com, if you are feeling ambitious and wanting to get the heck out of town because there's a lot going on and maybe you just want to take a break. So, crowsnestretreats.com. And then what? Brad Crowell 7:16  Well, we're actually working on lighting up a workshop and some classes in Singapore right now. Lesley Logan 7:21  I know. Brad Crowell 7:22  Which would be awesome. We'll see. You know, I would say at this point, if it hasn't come together, then we have a problem. If you're listening to this now, but right now we're working on it when we're recording this. So we're gonna say, yeah, it happened. It definitely happened. We got a workshop coming in Singapore.Lesley Logan 7:39  It's going to happen because, hello. I mean, it's not very often Singapore that I have a layover during daylight hours. Brad Crowell 7:44  That's right. Lesley Logan 7:44  And so we're gonna make there's people who want it.Brad Crowell 7:46  It's gonna be awesome, yeah. But anyway, we've been looking at different venues right now, and we're lining it all up. So yeah. And then after we get back from Singapore, we actually are home for about a month, which is quite nice to to chill out. We some family coming into town, and then we go on our winter tour for OPC, where we're driving another 8000 miles this year. Last year, we did 8200 over the winter. This year is going to be less miles more stops. Oh, yeah. Lesley Logan 8:20  Okay. Brad Crowell 8:21  Less miles, more steps, but it's gonna be awesome. We are stoked. Lesley Logan 8:24  You know what's really funny, guys? Okay, so the team, like, I see the map, I see where we're going, I give some inputs on some places. I'm like, yeah, I'll do that, whatever. But then they don't actually always tell me, like, all the events we're doing. So like, this week, all the private events that, because, like, studios that host us can also, like, hire us for an event, just for their team, right? So there's a public class and a public workshop, and then sometimes there's a private workshop. And apparently there's a lot more than workshops that I thought on the summer tour. So I am interested to see this winter tour. I expect lots of gifts and lots of hugs, but we'll announce the winter tour in October. So if you are in Cambodia with us, you'll hear it all announced. Brad Crowell 9:03  Yes, you will. Lesley Logan 9:04  Okay before we get into Anthony's incredible episode. What is the question of the week?Brad Crowell 9:10  Yes, great. So I don't actually know how to say this, netamenashe, yeah, netamenashe. there you go, on Instagram, she asked, Hey Lesley, do you do any Zoom sessions sometimes? Lesley Logan 9:27  Sometimes I do. Brad Crowell 9:28  Sometimes.Lesley Logan 9:29  That's true. Yeah. Who gets them? It's gonna sound like I'm an asshole, but the people who get Zoom sessions with me are people who are in my mentorship program, to be completely honest. I don't have a lot of hours in a week that I can teach because of we run OPC, you run Profitable Pilates, you know, and we do have the mentorship program, so the limited times that I have are for those in that program. And then sometimes OPC members get access to that calendar. But basically, as you can hear, no one publicly gets access to those things. So as much as I love to teach the world on Zoom, that the way I can do that is through OPC actually, because we have a monthly live class, and I can look, we can hang out afterwards, and I can look at your form. I can answer your questions. You don't even have to come to the live class when I look at your form, you can submit videos, and I can give you feedback. So if you're wanting me to give you feedback on some exercises, be an OPC member. If you're a teacher, you can go through eLevate we only have a few spots there, where OPC, it's obviously as many people. Brad Crowell 10:28  Open to the world. Lesley Logan 10:28  Open to the world and. Lesley Logan 10:29  But yeah, I mean, with eLevate, if you, if you're actually looking for a specific feedback on your practice and you want to really grow, Neta, you should be considering eLevate. It's for teachers. It's a nine-month program. It's like, consider it like going and getting a master's degree somewhere. It's very in depth, in in in what it covers. It's going to run through everything that Lesley learned from Jay Grimes, who studied with Joe. So you're going to be covering 500 exercises. It's going to be amazing. During that time, your your personal practice will significantly grow, and you'll also have, Lesley will be, you know, watching your practice during those nine months, too. So that's like, the best way to make that happen. Just reach out, or go to lesleylogan.co/elevate and or you can book a call. I'm super happy to hop on a call and just say, what's up, you know.Lesley Logan 11:21  I mean, I it's like a it's a great problem to have. And I actually used to teach this long I've been teaching online. I used to teach on Skype, and I used to teach people all over on Skype. Brad Crowell 11:30  2015, '16, '17 Skype.Lesley Logan 11:33  Yeah, Skype, oh, my God. Or sometimes Facebook, sometimes Facebook Messenger, because Skype wasn't working, or whatever, like, it was so, but I was, like, anything that has a video I can teach on it. And, you know, but, yeah, I think, like, we do have some great opportunities to work together in person between the tours and Cambodia, and then the online stuff is, you know, you I all love. Brad Crowell 11:56  That's another great one. You could come with us to Cambodia, Neta, where you'll be doing five classes with Lesley during the retreat. And obviously, you know, it's, it's not a large group. So you can come there and be in person. Lesley Logan 12:10  Yeah. So you guys send in your questions. You can, like, you'll literally hear honest feedback and answers. And we love answering them. Like, I just, I want, I want, I want I want questions about your wedding, I don't know. Like, give me some good ones. Go to beitpod.com/questions to submit them, or text us at 310-905-5534, it doesn't yet mean Be It Pod, but we're getting to.Brad Crowell 12:34  No it's not gonna mean Be It Pod anytime soon. So I love that your wishful thinking here it's, you know, low on the list.Lesley Logan 12:41  Being it till I see it. Brad Crowell 12:43  Lower on the priority list. Lesley Logan 12:47  All right, all right. Brad Crowell 12:49  Love you. Lesley Logan 12:49  Love you too.Brad Crowell 12:51  Stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into one of my really dear friends who I've now known for more than a decade, and he he's just inspirational in multiple ways, being a yogi, but also, you know, he's a philosopher too. So cannot wait to dig into this convbo that you have with Anthony Benenati. You're really going to enjoy. If you haven't already gone back and listened to that, you should, but yeah, looking forward to it. Stick around we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 13:19  Right. Let's talk about Mr. Anthony Benenati. A professional yoga teacher with over 32 years of experience. Before stepping into yoga, Anthony served in the Air Force and worked in a comp as a competitive power lifter. I don't know if he worked at it, but he was a competitive power lifter, which left him with shoulder and knee injuries. In fact, you know, he he told me when he was younger, he couldn't even touch his toes, you know, and today he's like, you know, obviously been doing yoga for three decades. He founded City Yoga, which was California's first on a Sora studio, and he now leads, That's Not Yoga. That's his website, thatsnotyoga.com. He he's actually also done a lot of business stuff, and like because he sold studios and then he taught for other people, and he's done workshops and holds retreats, all sorts of stuff. Anthony's philosophy is to fit yoga to the student, making sure the practice leads to transformation and healing, not to suffering. And he teaches students to listen to their bodies every day, meeting themselves where they're at, with their openness and compassion, and yeah I think that is a really great summary of, you know, who he is. But I would also say he rides a motorcycle, he drinks beer, he curses. He's fucking cool and hip, and that's one of the things that that I connected with him the most about is because I had this preconception of what's a yogi. Lesley Logan 14:45  I mean, your first class was, like a per tip, like a bit like, like the typical yoga instructor, like this little, soft spoken older lady.Brad Crowell 14:52  No, no, no, no, no. I had my well, so that, so that was the first teacher that I actually learned from, and she was super sweet and nice. But yes, the class was literally for, like, elderly people. And I was like, teach me the foundations. And I liked the class because she let her students ask questions during class. And I was like, I don't understand this pose. How does it work? And it effectively was like. Lesley Logan 15:14  In case you haven't noticed, Brad, you guys, Brad literally interrupts all classes to ask questions. Like, like, all classes, he has questions. He comes on the retreat, and he'll just pop into a class, and then he's got a question. It's like, we actually talked about that yesterday, and you missed class. But okay.Brad Crowell 15:29  So, but my very first class was hilarious, because I'm like, you know, my nickname in yoga class was shark boy, or Mr. Bendy, and I, I've just been I'm a hyper mobile body, so naturally flexible. And I get to my first yoga class ever was a Groupon that I bought, and I showed up for class, and I'm in the middle of, like, 30 or 40 people, and I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm watching this guy up in the front, you know, do all the things. And I was like, okay, we're sticking our arm over there. We're shooting, our leg over this way. We're twisting and blah, blah, blah. And at the end of the class, he came up to me, he's like, wow, man, you have a great practice. And I was like, this is my very first class. And it was like, what? And I was like, yeah. And then I left the studio, and I walked out to my motorcycle, and I could not get onto it. Lesley Logan 16:16  You did way too much. Brad Crowell 16:17  Because I hurt myself so bad that I literally had to sit there for like an hour just for my back to not be screaming at me. And I was like, well, yoga is not for me. And I just was like, I'm done. And then I never, you know, like, I never went back, and I, but I, but I had that Groupon right? And so anyway, somehow I ended up using it. And I bought another package somewhere with Anthony, because the studio was convenient and but I only want. Lesley Logan 16:46  Your first class wasn't with Anthony. Brad Crowell 16:47  No, no, my first class was not with Anthony. But like, a year or two later, I was like, I'm gonna give this another try. And I did buy, like, a 10 pack at Anthony's studio, and I use, like, and he didn't have an expiration on it, right? So, and I, but I only use, like, two classes. And then I didn't know yoga for like, years. And then there was a point where I was like, I need to go. I need to go back to class. And I, I called the studio. Had, he had sold it and, you know, so I, I went. I was like, hey, I had this package with the old studio, you know, you know. And I wasn't even taking with Anthony. I had been taking with that lady, that older lady, lady, but I still had packages. It just so happened to be Anthony's studio. I didn't know that, yeah. So when I went back, Anthony was the teacher, and that's how I first met him. And I was like, who the hell is this guy? He's awesome. This is rad and that and then I was like, hooked. I was in. This is probably like, 2014. So I've been dabbling in yoga for like, maybe three years, but not really.Lesley Logan 17:46  I love how two or three times in two years is dabbling.Brad Crowell 17:50  Yeah. Well, with the with the older with the with the older lady, whose name I don't remember, and I feel bad about that. I probably went, you know, I bought a few 10 packs, you know, I went a few times.Lesley Logan 18:00  Okay, it wasn't clear that there's a multiple 10 pack. Brad Crowell 18:02  Yeah. Sorry, sorry I went a few times, like, I had enough foundation (inaudible). Lesley Logan 18:05  Every time I've heard this story it has always had, like, one 10 pack, and it's like, you get a couple of times it's not dabbling.Brad Crowell 18:12  Oh, I went, I went, yeah, I went enough to, like, decide that yoga wasn't gonna hurt me if I knew what I was doing. But, you know, I didn't actually, like, it didn't turn it into a habit or a practice. I just went a few times, and then, you know, it wasn't until, you know, a year later that I went back to redeem the rest of my package that, studio had sold. I didn't even know it. And I was like, well, they're gonna honor it. I already have classes. I'll just go there. And then I happened to pop into a class that was Anthony's, but, wow, that was a long story that has nothing to do with anything. Lesley Logan 18:45  Speaking of Anthony. Brad Crowell 18:45  Yeah, let's shift on, like from your convo, which was deep. Lesley Logan 18:50  It was deep. I knew it would be, I know it'd be so good, but I think for all the teachers, no matter what you teach, this is a really great thing. Anthony says he believes that the most effective teacher is someone who understands how people get to the practice. Brad Crowell 19:03  Well, you just found out. Lesley Logan 19:05  Yeah, well, but like, right, right, but like, I think this goes to, you know, we coach a lot of Pilates instructors, and they're like, I want to work with an advanced person. All they want to do is lose weight, and it's like, right? And we don't want you to lie to people, but you have to understand what gets people to the practice, so that you can have empathy for them being a beginner, because they should be allowed to be a beginner, and we can't, we don't want them to feel shame for what they think they want in their life, because that's a compilation of years of stories and influence good or bad to, and in the conversation we talked about, there's no such thing as good or bad, but like to to someone. And so how can you really have a lived experience, so that you can in whatever it is you're teaching, so that you can come from a really great place, an honest place, and and be human, you know, like, I think a lot of instructors put themselves upon pedestals, cult leaders and and forget that like you are also in practice when you teach something, that's a practice, right? And so he also said empathy is such an important factor to be a great teacher, you have to put yourself in their shoes. And this is something like, look, of course, I have days where I get tired and I'm like, why don't they just fucking relax and stop trying to be perfect, like I don't understand, like, I'm fucking just, just relax, just be in practice. But also, I know what that is like. I know why they can't do it. I know that they have years of like, being for whatever, like somebody told them that it had maybe the perfection is because it kept the house safe. You know, there's so many different reasons why people seek perfection. They want certainty. They want control, you know.Brad Crowell 20:47  Yeah, I mean, it could be a response from uncertainty in another area of their life, where they feel like this is where I can have certainty, because I know exactly how it's supposed to be, you know. And then, and then it becomes this thing. Lesley Logan 21:00  Yeah, but when I when I like, so when I catch myself, because sometimes, like, I'm like, and it's like, oh, wait, hold on a second. We've like, I've been here. So what, what was I going through? And what actually got me to, like, let go of that and get back in that empathy, because it actually is what helps guide people on the path to being more themselves, to connecting to themselves, to having a personal practice. So it was just like.Brad Crowell 21:25  Yeah. Anthony was talking about his ego was the thing that brought him to the practice. Because he was like. Lesley Logan 21:31  Which would just be the irony of yoga. Brad Crowell 21:33  Yeah. And I'll tell you, it was actually anger that brought me to the practice and. Lesley Logan 21:39  I do went to yoga with you because I thought you're cute. I mean I was going to yoga already, and I was like, Ookay, I'll go to that class with him, because he's cute.Brad Crowell 21:48  bBut, but I was angry that I couldn't do it, and that was also ego. But like, I was angry. I was angry outside. I was angry at my ex, right? And I was angry that I couldn't figure it out. And I was angry that my I was just angry. And then when I when I knew was that, after I had beat the shit out of myself in a yoga class, I felt better. Like, ironically, you know, and like, if you know, talk about controlling, like I wanted every single answer to every every possible understanding of the movement, you know, and then, and then there was stuff that I was like, couldn't do. And it generally like, ironically, I was flexible, but I wasn't flexible enough in my own mind. And I definitely wasn't strong. And, you know, I think that anger, like, pushed me through the strength training barriers of where I was, like, I need to be able to hold this pose for whatever, 10 seconds, I don't know, like, whatever it was like. And it was like, I mean, I'm glad I didn't hurt myself, to be honest, you know, during it. But it was, you know, it took me a solid six months to enjoy the practice, you know, because I was just frustrated at everything.Lesley Logan 23:04  Yeah, I think, like, had you come to it for a different way, you might, like, it would might have been a different thing, but maybe you didn't, wouldn't have practiced that hard. Like, I think, I think that's what the point is. Like, what if we allowed our journey to whatever it is just be that, I think a lot of people want to change the past. They want, they want it to be a different way that they got into something. I remember, like, how I got into Pilates. I thought it was BS, and I remember not telling anyone that story for years, like I was so embarrassed that I actually thought that that Pilates was a gimmick, you know, I really was. I was like, oh. And then also on top of that, because when I became a Pilates instructor, people, most of the teachers were dancers. So here I was one of the few in my world, not in the world, but in my world, L.A., that was a non-dancer, and I thought it was bullshit, you know, like I was just like, I'm just gonna just, I'm just gonna bend back, I'm in the back, and no one's gonna know. But then I realized, like, actually, like, how I got to Pilates is probably how a lot of people think about Pilates. And what if I actually just, like, lean into the empathy of that, and it might actually allow more people to come to the practice, because then they don't feel stupid or silly or weird for thinking it's, it's, you know, not gonna work, you know? And it found, the more I talked about how I wasn't a dancer, the more teachers were like, I'm not one either. And then made them feel good. And so, like, what if we all just own the story that we have? It might actually make us all have more community and connection to different people.Brad Crowell 24:33  Yeah. I mean, it makes you relatable, you know, makes makes as a teacher, it makes you relatable when you're willing to, you know, share the things that it's I think, you know, there's always over-sharing can be wrong. But like, I think it's hard to know what will be received well. And so I feel like that there's fear there, and that's why you know, you're like, man, I shouldn't share that. But then, like, when you know if and when you do, it's like, oh, you know, like, well, I'm not alone in this, and other people are probably also not sharing, and now they feel permission to, you know, commiserate or connect, or, you know, makes them feel better about themselves, too. So, yeah. Lesley Logan 25:12  Yeah. Love it. Okay, what did you love? Brad Crowell 25:13  Yeah, so I loved this idea of good and bad. You know, he said yoga doesn't actually see things as good and bad. It's not like you have a good practice or a bad practice, or you're a good yogi or a bad yogi, you know. He said that yoga kind of sees things more in the does it work, or is it not working? You know? And he was talking about the specifically, like, when, when we were talking about this, it was more talking about habits. You know, it's like, the habit is there, whether it's a quote, unquote, good habit or a bad habit. You know, we're taking that and setting that aside instead. It's a, you know, how is this habit serving me? Is it, is it working for me, or is it not working for me, right? And specifically you were like, maybe you get frustrated that you sit there and scroll on Instagram all day long, but maybe you can see that as a good thing, because you actually need a moment to to just like, not think, right?Lesley Logan 26:12  Yeah, yeah. We also mean, we talked about, like, some people would say it's bad to drink, but like, if it if, if that drink made you that drink made you relax and connect with your family. Like, is it bad and and I think, like, is it wrong? So I've heard that this before, and a couple different things, obviously, like, there are things that cannot be great for you, but you, the difference is, like, is it serving you? Is it serving you? And it's okay for something to serve you and not serve somebody else. Brad Crowell 26:43  Or what is coming from it that could be serving you, right? Like, it might not be the thing that is serving you like, like the alcohol itself might not be beneficial, but the quality time that you spent with family when consuming the alcohol that is worth doing, right, you know? So, there's, I still, I still love the idea that like everything in moderation, including moderation, you know.Lesley Logan 27:08  Well, I think the point is, because I think about Brene Brown, she's gone in my head a couple times in this conversation, guilt versus shame is her thing, right? Like, I think some people shame themselves. I had a drink last night, versus, like, I spent time with my family and I had a drink, and I love spending time with my family. I don't love I had the drink, but when I had the drink, it let me forget about the work that I had so I could spend time with my family. So I do need to figure out a way to get to forget about work so I can spend time my family. But we don't have to have shame around the drink, because, you know, and I think that's where it's like, we have to be kinder to ourselves. I think people just walk around. I mean, it's on the internet, right? People just shame people all the time. That's bad. That's wrong. You did that wrong. Like, no one is going way to go, like, you know, when's the last time you told a stranger (inaudible). Brad Crowell 28:00  We definitely celebrated with OPC. I was gonna, I was gonna circle this right back around to your Pilates practice or your yoga practice, because when I first got into yoga, that was how I treated myself. I'm not good enough. I'm doing it wrong. I'm not doing it well. It's, it's not good, like I'm not a good yogi. And I was judging myself, but I was angry. I was angry at myself. I was angry at the world, you know, and like, you know, but I knew that, like physically, my body, like you ever felt like, you ever felt like so frustrated you just have to go run? You ever felt like that, where like running is somehow going to like be the thing, I and, like, that was that was like, you know, because you get that endorphins release and all that stuff, and that was what I was looking for without really understanding it, I just knew that I felt better after class, you know, and because I was also more relaxed and, like, my mind wasn't like, freaking out all the time, you know, at that point. But it still took time for me to like, took years for me to stop judging my own practice and like the idea that.Lesley Logan 29:14  But I think going back to like, there's a difference between saying something is bad and to lead to I'm bad, and asking yourself, and if we could just catch ourselves now, because this is why I love this conversation. Is it serving me? If the answer is yes, fuck what people think. If it's a yes, and tomorrow it's a yes, and then the next week, it's a yes, and then next month, it's a no. Then you make a change, but. Brad Crowell 29:44  Sure, you can make a choice. Lesley Logan 29:45  But I think some people are using judgment on good or bad, on things that are serving them, and then they're fucking stuck, like if you had not gone to yoga because I'm bad. It makes me feel like, you know, so I'm not, like, yoga would become the thing that's wrong. And then, like, you know what I mean? So like, is it serving me? It's serving me to go because I'm angry, and I can be angry, and it's serving me, and then all of a sudden, the anger at yoga no longer served you, and you let it go. So I think, like, there's a couple different ways to see this. Brad Crowell 30:20  Or the anger at me is no longer serving me. Lesley Logan 30:22  Yeah, so you had to let it go. So I think, what if we could all stop? If you and this is something we can catch ourselves doing here at this household, you and me together, but also, like our coworkers, your friends, like, if you go, oh, I know it's bad that I do this, hit, pull, that rubber band. Is it serving me, that I do this, right? Is it serving me that I do this? And if you can honestly say yes, then let the fucking guilt go, because it's not helping you. Brad Crowell 30:48  You said pull that rubber band? Lesley Logan 30:50  You know, you have a rubber band on your wrist. Brad Crowell 30:52  Yeah, yeah. Snap it. Lesley Logan 30:53  Snap it. Brad Crowell 30:54  Like, hit the reset button. Yeah, you know. And, and it's, you know, that he took it a little bit differently in the conversation, because he's, you know, he was talking about all things serve a purpose, even if we look at it and say that's bad, you know? Because, you know, he said we wouldn't know love without hate, joy without pain. Lesley Logan 31:18  I can think of a few people that I could still think the world's a better place if they weren't in it. I'm just gonna say, we all know, but like, I get the point.Brad Crowell 31:27  Perspective, right? It allows us to actually understand what we have in our world that is amazing, you know, because we can also see, oh, damn, I definitely that is not amazing over there. You know? You know that that's not giving that's not that is not working. That would not work for me, right? I mean, yeah, that wouldn't work for me. So, you know, it's a, he said, it's a balance, you know, and it's and each scenario you find yourself in, you can find that balance between, you know, is it working for me or not working for me? Or is it the good and the bad? You know, how can it be working for you? Lesley Logan 32:04  I mean, you know, I love it because, like BJ Fogg always said, there's no such thing as bad habit. Every habit you have is serving some function. Now, there might be habits you don't like or are no longer serving you, but they're a habit. But there, you cannot say there's a bad habit, because it is providing something in your brain that's kicking off a dopamine otherwise your brain wouldn't seek doing it.Brad Crowell 32:24  Right. Yeah, yeah. I always thought about that too with, like, food, you know, there's something, even if it's like, quote, unquote, bad habit of, like, eating all the time, or, like, maybe you have, like, a consistent, like, I eat late, or whatever, and you know that it's like, not physically helping you. There's still something in your head that's like, I need that thing, whatever that thing is, you know, I need that glass of orange juice, you know, I need the sugar, you know. Lesley Logan 32:49  Well, because it could be, it brings re lief, right? It's distraction, it might calm you down. There's so many different things that our habits do. So if there's something that you feel no longer serves a purpose in your life, right, you have to explore that and not judge that. I'm going to do a whole series on habits, actually, so we can continue this conversation on this like it's now an eight episode series I'm going to do about habits. Brad Crowell 33:19  Really? Lesley Logan 33:19  Oh, Brad has no idea. Brad Crowell 33:20  What? Tell me more. Lesley Logan 33:22  Yeah, oh, my God, I'm doing a whole episode, a whole series on my. Brad Crowell 33:25  On where? Lesley Logan 33:26  On the pod. I'm just taking over and not interviewing people for a few weeks. And I'm gonna tell you how to fucking do a habit. And we're also talking about unraveling habits that no longer serve you. Brad Crowell 33:35  All right, you heard it here first, y'all, surprise. Lesley Logan 33:37  So the thing the homework from this episode is just start taking notice of things, you know, the habits you have, the routines you have that no longer serve you. And we can bring that to the series, which will come out, I think it's going to come out either in December or January, so.Brad Crowell 33:55  Cool. All right, that's really fun. We'll stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to dig into those Be It Action Items that you covered with Anthony, which were also fantastic. So yeah, stick around we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 34:07  Welcome back. Let's dig into those Be It Action Items that you had.Lesley Logan 34:13  You guys, I am notorious, like, I'm notorious, like, yeah, I'm ready. And then I just looked down, and he's like, just wants me to look at the camera when he says welcome back. So I'm sorry, everyone here we are. Welcome back. Brad Crowell 34:24  Welcome back. Lesley Logan 34:24  Say it with him. What bold, ex, you're not gonna say it with me? What bold, executable, intrinsic or targetedBrad Crowell 34:31  Action items can we take away from your convo with Anthony Benenati?Lesley Logan 34:35  Just so you know, I always fade out, even when you sing Happy Birthday, because I can't. I don't like how I sound. Okay. I'm going first, babe, here we go. I'm taking away because I there's just too many things I loved. So he said, he states that it's important that we actually we focus on three things when you want to do things that you want to do. So first of all, to do anything you want to do, you have to actually have the desire to do it. If you don't have the desire to do it, you won't put the effort forward. Has anyone ever said like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna learn Spanish, and then you don't learn Spanish. So you have to have the desire to do it. This is, we're gonna talk about this in the Habit Series. I love it. Knowledge. You have to learn to do it. He actually said just doing something without knowing how to do it can cause you harm. This is very true. You have to actually learn how to do it. I'm actually trying to learn how to do tarot, because I like want to, we have a Ttarot episode coming out, and I like, want to understand how to like, do it better. And I want a tarot is a personal relationship with yourself. It's asking yourself questions. And I want to have, I don't want to do it wrong. I want to have a really good understanding of it before I start journaling and pulling cards. And really like doing it for real. And then third is action. Then you simply have to do it. But beyond doing it just once, you must commit to doing over and over and over again to create meaningful change. And I love this so much. We have to be okay with being beginners, are we okay for having, like, being on a journey of learning, and then you just keep doing it. And it's really amazing how when you do that, it's like there's deeper levels of everything that we do, and it's just so good. I am loving, I love this, love, I love this triad. Okay, Brad.Brad Crowell 36:12  Yeah, I think that that idea of desire, knowledge and action is so obvious, but we often will skip one of the steps. Lesley Logan 36:24  Sometimes people skip desire. Brad Crowell 36:26  That's what I'm saying. Lesley Logan 36:27  It's terrible, like, that's a bad one. Brad Crowell 36:28  I'm doing it because I have to, or I'm doing it for somebody else, but really, you don't fucking want to, and so it actually sets you up to fail from the gate, right? Because what's gonna happen, you're gonna you're gonna do it, and it's gonna build frustration or resentment, you know, or like you mentioned with step two, if you skip knowledge, you could hurt yourself. And then, you know, there's step three, which is actually being consistent with it. You can have the desire to learn. You could even learn how to do it. But then if you don't do it.Lesley Logan 37:03  Right, right, because you, because some people won't do things because they're they're too new at it, you know. Okay, your Be It Action Items, your takeaways.Brad Crowell 37:11  Okay, so he was talking about being careful with language, and you mentioned this too, right? How your body actually learns, your body responds to the way that you think and the things that you say impact, you know, like, what you think is what you're going to say, and what you think your body is also going to do. Lesley Logan 37:32  Your body's not going to go rogue on you.Brad Crowell 37:34  Right. So, for example, you were talking about, you know, oh, I'm never, I never lose weight, or I'm never gonna get stronger or, you know, or I was thinking about just this, just the other day, I had somebody come, you know, we had somebody come to our place, and we were just taking photos, and the person said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's my bad side. And then shifted to the other side of the photo so they could get it. And I was like, that's like, I mean, of course, we've all heard that and like, it sounds like so Hollywood, but it's also, you know, like, that's a shame.Lesley Logan 38:13  Well, also, because you it just you have confirmation bias. You actually always see the thing that you're saying is bad, but your body listens. If you say you have a weak arm, your body's not gonna go let me show you how strong I am. No, it's just not gonna happen, and you'll treat it that way. So I really, I really think language, being careful with it, is something we could all pay attention to.Brad Crowell 38:34  Yeah and then the other side of it, too is let's say you have the desire and the action, the knowledge, I mean, and you're putting it into action, the way that you put it into action today might be different than the way you put it into action yesterday, right? And I think I had, especially with my yoga practice, never fully embraced this idea, ever. So for 10 years, I was like, I can always go further than I did the day before. That's just the way I always looked at it. It wasn't until I started lifting weights that I truly looked at it like, I just can't today, whatever, whatever, like, like, if last week I did 150 pounds, I just feel like, wimpy today, I'm not going to be able to do it and I and I could actually hurt myself.Lesley Logan 39:28  Yeah, that's why my trainer has me on a deload week because it's important for your central nervous system to, like, think things are a little easier. Can't always be building, building, building. You have to calm it down, yeah, so it's, it's so true, like our the way we approach things has to be different if we're listening to our body. Brad Crowell 39:47  Yeah and, you know, so yeah, listening to your body, being careful with your language, being willing to, being willing to, not, you know, whatever, reach the goal or hit the to be the epitome of the pose or, you know, in our in my case, it was often handstand, you know, when it was yoga, or for lifters, it's like, I gotta hit my max. Last max was, you know, this, so I gotta hit, I gotta at least hit that and then more, right, like, being willing to be like, okay, maybe right now it's okay if it's different, you know.Lesley Logan 40:24  Yeah, it's interesting how, like, some of those things, just you'd learn with age, but also.Brad Crowell 40:27  I think with age and also, like death. I never felt like I was gonna hurt myself in yoga. I never felt like I could crush my skull. Like, if you're benching and you have too much weight, your body could slip and fail, and you could have 150 pounds crashing on your body like, that was, that was the moment where I was like, oh, okay. Lesley Logan 40:47  So there it is, Anthony. We should have just probably go how to teach Brad he could have died, get a fucking broken his neck. Oh, my God. Okay, now we know. Well, I.Brad Crowell 40:59  But also that's translated, you know, like, I it took me an opportunity to learn, and then, you know, now, when I'm going back into my yoga practice, it's, doesn't have to be like, to the nth degree every single time.Lesley Logan 41:12  Yeah, I just show up. Like, that's where I'm at. I'm like, I'm really enjoying just showing up. So glad I get to do that. I'm like, I'm here today.Brad Crowell 41:20  I also feel a lot stronger, too, and less flexible. And I acknowledge that. Lesley Logan 41:25  You're no longer a shark boy. Brad Crowell 41:26  No. I mean, I don't think so. I'm still flexible, but I'm not like I was like before. Lesley Logan 41:31  You have mobility. Brad Crowell 41:32  Yeah, but I could put my foot behind my neck not in front of my head.Lesley Logan 41:35  I know, but you have but we need strength as we get older, it's really fucking hard to put it on. Anyways, I just this whole episode has so many gems I really enjoyed, like, reliving it. I think it's one that's worth going back to. And I think it's got, it's got a takeaway you might listen to differently each time you hear it. So, listen to it again. And I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 41:57  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 41:58  Thanks for listening. I want to hear reviews. I want to hear takeaways. I want your fucking questions. Send it in to beitpod.com/questions, also your wins. I want your wins. I want a lot. Okay, I want a lot. Brad Crowell 42:09  Yeah. We want it all. Lesley Logan 42:10  Yes, I can't I'm not gonna sing a song for you. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 42:14  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 42:16  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 42:59  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 43:03  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 43:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 43:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 43:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Anthony Benenati, founder of City Yoga and That's Not Yoga®, shares his personal evolution from his earliest experiences with yoga to developing a practice that meets each individual where they are. In this conversation, he explores breaking limiting ideas about yoga, uncovering its deeper meaning, and building genuine human connection through mindful movement. He also reflects on how curiosity, learning, and purposeful steps can lead to lasting change. This is a conversation about healing, empowerment, and finding a practice that truly serves you. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Anthony's journey into yoga and the pivotal moments that shaped his path.Breaking common stereotypes and misconceptions about yoga.Understanding the true purpose of yoga beyond the poses.How yoga fosters authentic community and connection.The power of desire, knowledge, and action in creating transformation.Episode References/Links:Anthony Benenati's Website - https://thatsnotyoga.comAnthony Benenati's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thatsnotyoga Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/3edLCLcGuest Bio:Anthony Benenati is the founder of City Yoga, The first Anusara yoga studio in California and That's Not Yoga® , a culmination of three decades of study and practice in the Hatha Yoga tradition. Anthony's philosophy is simple; fit the yoga to the student, not the student to the yoga. He believes that it isn't about the style of yoga you practice, rather, the effectiveness of that style for your body. Yoga practice should help you transform, not cause more suffering. Anthony draws from a deep knowledge of the different classical styles of modern yoga and other modalities to construct a path of healing and transformation for their student. Anthony has trained in Kundalini, Ashtanga, Iyengar, Anusara and Viniyoga. He specializes in Yoga Therapeutics and tailors the practice so your body uses its natural movements to heal itself from pain and suffering. He has taught globally and has trained thousands of students. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/ Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Anthony Benenati 0:00  One of the misconceptions about yoga is that anything goes, right, and that is so far from the truth. If yoga is about anything, it's about setting meaningful boundaries.Lesley Logan 0:12  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:51  All right, Be It babe. I am so stoked for you to hear today's interview. Our guest today is actually a dear friend of Brad and mine, and he is a person we have quoted on the podcast before, and he's someone we said, we have to get him on the pod. And guess what? We did it. And also, I can't believe this is the first time he's on the pod. I feel like he'll be a regular conversation, because it's just really fun to hear him share his perspective, and he is an amazing yoga teacher. And this is as much of a yoga podcast as it's not a yoga podcast episode, because we talk a lot about what really is yoga, and what does it mean to have a yoga practice, and what is it trying to teach us? And if you think you know what yoga is I'm gonna challenge you to listen, because I think it's really easy for us to have been fed something that it's not and then not realize, like, the amazing benefits that it has. And so I'm not gonna say anymore, because this episode is just one of my favorite it's gonna go hands down and one I'll quote in the future. And I knew that when I brought him on, I just knew that we would have an amazing conversation, and this is hopefully going to entertain, educate and inspire you. So here is Anthony Benenati. Lesley Logan 2:09  All right, Be It babe, I'm really excited. This person is actually a dear friend, like I know I've said that about some guests, but usually they're a dear friend of like, a couple moments. This person I've known for like, 10 years, and Brad has known him much longer, he's been a regular in our lives. Anthony Benenati, you are one of the best yoga teachers I know, but also so much more than that. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? Anthony Benenati 2:33  Well, first of all, thank you for having me on. What an honor. Who am I? Anthony Benenati, you said my name. I am, believe it or not, a yoga teacher, a professional yoga teacher. I've been doing this for 32 years now, which, when I tell people that I teach yoga, they they have immediate this vision of what that might be. Lesley Logan 2:56  Yes, you should be in white. Anthony Benenati 2:59  I should be in white or. Lesley Logan 3:02  With a glow. Anthony Benenati 3:04  It's not very serious or, right? Everybody has their assumptions of what yoga is, which, my job is to help educate and instruct on what the practice truly is versus what it has become. The practice that sort of everybody knows now, versus really, what it truly is and what its goal is.Lesley Logan 3:29  Yeah, I feel like we could also, like, talk about that for hours, because I had someone send me a reel of a guy on a Reformer with a, like, stationary bike in his hands and feet. And it was a joke. It was like an April Fool's joke. And he was like, okay, guys like, this class, we get cardio and core and like, he's holding the bike, he's it's obviously a joke. But like someone sent it to me, and I'm like, the fact that this is so hilarious that people who've never done Pilates before are sending this to me, tells me that what people think Pilates is has strayed far from what Pilates is. So I feel like I can understand that. And I find myself constantly educating people a little bit like, well, that yes, those are Pilates exercises and so, but it's not the inherent reality of it is. And so I feel like I understand that plight, that that journey you're on, in a little bit. Anthony Benenati 4:18  You and I have had this conversation many times before, because you're so close to the source of it, and and that's what I love about what you do, what you teach, and where I am, and what I teach, is that there's a lineage, and you're very close to the source, and the closer you are to the source, the more authentic the teaching, the further down the line you get disconnected from that core source. Then everything starts to get watered down and miscommunicated. Lots of stuff gets forgotten. Lesley Logan 4:55  Yeah, well, it's like the game of telephone, like, I mean, like when you play that game in school, like, you, the further it goes down the line. Anthony Benenati 5:03  The more warped it gets. Lesley Logan 5:04  Yes, yes. And it's funny, but also, like, that is the reality. Can we take a step back? Because, like, a yoga instructor of 32 years, that is a long time. And I think, like, there's not many of you. I mean, there's many of you, probably in India places, but like, there's not many of people who've had that many decades and and have studied the way that you have like, did you grow up like doing yoga? Did you want to be a yoga teacher?Anthony Benenati 5:32  No, this story is, is pretty remarkable. No, I did not grow up with yoga. In fact, I didn't really understand what yoga was until I was literally introduced to it after I moved here to L.A. So I've been in L.A. since 1991 before that, I was in the military. I was in the Air Force. And when I was in the Air Force, I was a competitive power lifter, and I played sports all my life. So my body was pretty wrecked in my 20s. I had a shoulder surgery and a knee surgery already, and I remember I was waiting tables, and I had met this girl, and I was taken by the way she sort of carried herself. She was she walked very upright, almost Royal. And I thought, you know, it's L.A., everyone's moving to LA to become an actress. And I thought, okay, this girl, right, she's like telling her family, I don't want your money, I'm moving to L.A. and I'm going to be an actress. So I asked her, and she laughed in my face, and she lifted up the back of her shirt, and she showed me a 13-inch scar on her spine. And she told me that when she was young, she had this incredible S curve in her back, and she was in a full body cast from her neck all the way down through her torso. And I said, oh, my God, that that sounds painful. And I said how do you move? You can't, I haven't seen you bend. She goes, I can't. The only thing I can bend is my hips. I can turn my hips, but I cannot bend my back. I said, well, what do you do for relief? And she said, I do yoga. And I was like, Well, explain what's that and how does that help you? And she said, I'd love to explain it, but I don't think I can. Why don't you just come to a class? So I did, and you know, me then, I was really big. I had all this muscle mass, right? And I went to my first class, and I could not finish, could not finish the class. It kicked my butt. And I was so, my ego got, got triggered. And one of the things that's important for me as a teacher now when I teach my students is that there is, yoga doesn't see things in good and bad. Yoga see thing, sees things in does it work or not? And at the time, ego served me, because it made me go back, and it made me go back and it made me go back. At the time, the reasons because I think I was going to get it, and that's fine for whatever, for whatever reason someone enters into the practice is fine, you're there. That's the important part. We can work on the why and the why always evolves as you get along through the practice. But for me, I tell people, ego brought me to yoga and it it kept me there.Lesley Logan 8:34  Yeah, I think, isn't it interesting, like, because I'll have I work with teachers, and they're like, oh, I don't want to work with people who want to lose weight. And I'm like, I, you don't have to promise them anything you can't do. But if, if that brought them into the space, I would much rather you a non like someone who's not going to manipulate or use them or lie to them to be the safe landing for them to find a movement practice that can help them love the body that they have, you know? So I'm not here to be I won't take you if you want to lose weight. I'll just say, here's the science of weight loss, here's how I can fit in and and here's how I don't, you know, but this is what we can do together and like building that trust. And if that's what brought them in, and that's what got them to keep coming at the beginning, but then they stay coming because of how it makes them feel, and then they become a person who doesn't worry about that, because they actually care more about how they feel than how that what the scale says. Like, to me, that's kind of like that same thing. Like, I think too often people are wanting to turn away that negative energy, that negative energy in air quotes, because that's not what something is. But really it's like, you can't just, you don't, we don't get to decide how people come to us. Anthony Benenati 9:48  Right. Lesley Logan 9:49  All we can do is like, kind of be a space for them to evolve and learn the what, what, what they wanted, what they're here, what we can teach them. Anthony Benenati 9:57  Yeah, I'm glad that you said that. I'm glad that you said that to create the space, because that's exactly what it is, isn't it? It's like we want to create a safe space for them to explore them, and not come in with this bunch of judgment that I'm putting on to them so that they feel uncomfortable. I want them to feel as comfortable as they can. Starting anything new is difficult. We all know that. Let's not make it harder. Lesley Logan 10:22  Yeah, yeah. I also like that you said there's like, there's not bad or good.Anthony Benenati 10:28  That's a radical, that's a radical idea for people. In the West, we are programmed this is good and this is bad. I can even hear, you probably hear this in your students' languages too. Oh, that's my bad side, or I have a bad leg, or I have a bad shoulder. And I'm careful with that, careful with the languaging. It's not bad. It may be injured, it may be weaker, it may be tighter, but that doesn't mean it's bad.Lesley Logan 10:55  Yeah. And I, well, I, there was a years ago, like years ago. I can remember where I was driving, but I can't remember the name of the podcast, I was in traffic on San Vicente trying to get to Wilson Boulevard, and I was listening this podcast, and they talked about how, like, we have to be mindful of how we talk about our body, because our body is listening. And they have done studies that, if you like, say, I gained weight, I'm someone who can't lose weight, like, I I'm fat. All this your bod, those people who say that they actually have seen that they produce fat cells, like, that's what they do, right? Versus like, they also, like, told people, like, oh, you had this knee surgery. And the person goes, oh, I had knee surgery, so my knee is better. They didn't have knee surgery. They literally didn't give it to them. They just pretended they put them under they had controls, don't worry there's other things, but. Anthony Benenati 11:42  The placebo effect. Lesley Logan 11:44  What you tell your body like really does matter and and I studied with BJ Fogg, who's the found who wrote Tiny Habits, and he's really the leading scientist on habits that everybody has been stealing from and, not stealing, it's the wrong word, they probably study with them, but at any rate, he said there's no such thing as a bad or good habit. Everything serves you. Every like the habits you don't like about yourself, if you don't like that you scroll on the internet. If you don't like that you binge-watch NetFlix that they'll all the habits we have serve us, they provide something because your brain actually doesn't want to be around anything that causes judgment or shame. So it, it's seeking, like, oh, like, maybe it's comfortable for you to it's soothing to just binge out and watch something you get you get to avoid the other thoughts you have, or with certainty, which we all are looking for and and so he said, If you so, you can't ever say I have a bad habit or I don't want to have good habits. They're just all habits. And then there might be habits you prefer and habits you'd like to get rid of. Anthony Benenati 12:42  Right. I think in the context of the yoga conversation, yoga would simply ask, do your habits serve you? And that's another way to say it, right, whether it's good or bad, is it serving you? Lesley Logan 12:54  Yes. Anthony Benenati 12:55  So maybe at the end of the night, you've had a really shitty night and you need a drink, and most people would go, oh, my God, you teach yoga. You don't drink, right? There's another stereotype. Lesley Logan 13:06  Yeah. Anthony Benenati 13:07  But does that drink serve you in that moment? Is it going to control you? Is it going to take over? No. May it take the edge off and allow you to process the things that you're going through? Sure. Are there other ways to process it? Yes. But not everybody can just be like, you know what, I'm super stressed, and I'm just going to sit and meditate. That's not that's not realistic. Lesley Logan 13:30  Yeah, yeah. Anthony Benenati 13:31  It's not realistic for somebody, you have to meet people where they are, yeah, yeah, and make the changes gradually. Lesley Logan 13:38  Well, I mean, do you have to meet yourself where you are? Anthony Benenati 13:41  Well, yes. True.Lesley Logan 13:44  That's a bigger, that's so huge. I just, you just mentioned something I thought it would be really good timing, like, since there is the stereotype of what yoga is, especially in the West, especially in big cities, oh, actually, even now, because the way things work in rural areas. It's just franchises so like so, what is yoga really?Anthony Benenati 14:08  Okay. How long is this podcast?Lesley Logan 14:11  We can have you back for another. We can split it up. Anthony Benenati 14:13  Part two. On its most basic level, yoga is a practice. It's been, well, the iteration that we know as yoga today has only been around a couple of 100 years prior to that, prior to the last 5000 years with yoga, yoga has been a ritual, a path, a practice to transcend the known or the physical, to transcend it to, instead of saying I am my body, yogis back then would say, I am not my body. And then they would use the practice to try and extricate themselves from their body. So, a free soul, you can think of it that way, the soul that inhabits me is limited by this physical boundary, and I'm going to use the yoga practice to liberate myself from this physical, literally, prison, is how they thought of it. But things evolved, and as things do over hundreds and thousands of years, consciousness changes, and societies evolve, and mindsets change, and even language changes. So yoga now has become a physical practice to help the body and the mind connect. So there's a saying that if you keep the body to cool the mind, most people, they start thinking a lot when they stop doing. And that's why a lot of people are just doing all the time, do, do, do, do, do, and there's no room for thinking. And then when they stop doing, all of these thoughts start coming up, and they don't know how to deal with them, so they just start doing again. Which is, I guess, a way of pushing things down so that you don't have to deal with it. Lesley Logan 16:05  Yeah, yeah. Anthony Benenati 16:06  Yoga gives us a invitation to try something else. Iit's a, it's an invitation to be like, how does my body work? And how does it work better? And not for the sake of the practice itself, but how is it going to help my life? Even if you do yoga every day, let's just say you do 30 minutes of yoga every day. There's 23 and a half other hours. What else are you going to do? Hopefully your yoga practice is serving that.Lesley Logan 16:37  Yeah, yeah. 30 minutes everyone is 2% of your day. If you want to do the math, it's 2% so if you can't give 2% of yourself to something that helps you become better, the other 98% like, I love that. I love the way that you described it. I think that it's really true. And I think it kind of like takes it away. Because I think people get caught up in the process of yoga, the poses, or the styles, and that's just all process which no one really, like, in the world of marketing guys, sells nothing. No one cares about the process. They care about the transformation, the the idea of like, you know, you said, like, breaking free of this limiting thing that would be like the thing, the promise. Let's go back. You, we kind of got, you got the ego kept you going to yoga. Why did you, like, did you know you wanted to be a teacher? Like, did you, I, because I had the same thing. I went to Pilates kicking and screaming, to be completely honest, and I thought it was a bullshit infomercial workout. And then I loved it, and then I kept going back, because I felt really good. And it wasn't till someone said I should be a teacher that I even thought about being a teacher. So how did you become a teacher? I mean, like, 32 years, take us back.Anthony Benenati 17:46  That's exactly, that's exactly, right, it was my teacher at the time that had told me. He told me after class. Now this was, you know, maybe a year, year and a half into starting with him. But he said, you know, because we've had multiple conversations, not just in the classroom but outside, we'd go and have tea or whatever. And he goes, have you ever thought about teaching yoga? And I said, absolutely not. I mean, why would I? Why would I do that? I barely know the practice. He says, I understand that, and I can get you more information, but I see something in you that I think will help other people. And I think what he saw, and after teaching a whole bunch of teacher trainees myself, the most effectual teacher is someone who understands how people get to the practice. And what I mean by that is if, for instance, if I grew up in the yoga tradition and my parents were teachers, and I had been doing yoga all my life, and I never really understood the struggle of a tight body, of not being able to do the poses, of not understanding the language, of having no connection to yoga, whatsoever. Then I couldn't offer that to anybody else coming into the practice, because I would, I, some of the teachers that I train who are super flexible, for instance, they never understand what it's like not to be so it's hard to have empathy for the student that is having a very difficult time doing the most basic movement. And I think empathy is such an important factor to be a great teacher, you have to be able to put yourself in their shoes. Lesley Logan 17:47  Yeah, yeah. Anthony Benenati 17:47  Or barefoot as it, in the yoga studio.Lesley Logan 17:47  Yeah, yeah. I agree. Like, I think, I think, you know, I used to be embarrassed by, like, how I thought so negatively about Pilates, and when I realized it was actually probably the way that made people trust to even try it out, like, I also thought it was bullshit. So, you know, I got it. And then the other thing, like, I do have one of those hypermobile bodies, but I fractured my tibial plateau right before I met and I remember, like, all this fear about, like, what that meant for my Pilates practice, what that meant for my weight training, my running, everything right? Was like, fear going on. And then I also realized in my own healing, how easy I was giving it to people with knee surgeries. Because I was just like, okay, like, don't move this in time thing and so I have an injury, I was like, oh, there's actually a lot of things they can do. There's like, so much like, and there's also so much they can't do, but like, you know, like, we don't have to, like, push them, but at the same token, like, we can challenge this body because it got injured for a reason. There was an imbalance, and that's why that happened.Anthony Benenati 18:11  Correct, correct. And we're here to address that imbalance, right? A lot of times, yoga is translated as union, which is a very simple, and it's not a direct translation. The root word of yoga is actually thousands of years old, and it's yuj, Y-U-J and it means to yoke. Now this is an old fashioned term. You know the yoke when they used to yoke the horse to the cart or the ox to the cart. Lesley Logan 21:02  I'm nodding, because I did do the Oregon Trail, and that is where I learned yoga. Anthony Benenati 21:06  Okay, there you go. So that's the image that I want people to have here, and it's very important, because what you have, so yoga, at that point, becomes an action. It's a verb. It's not just a noun. What is it? But what is it doing? It's joining. But what is it joining? It's joining two different things, right? The cart and the horse. Now, alone, these two things serve purposes, don't they? But if you connect them, then you can do incredible things that neither one of these things could do by themselves. So in the yoga practice, we say one and one never equals two. It always equals three, because there's you, there's the thing, and then there's the thing you guys are creating. So it's you and Brad as individuals, and it's your marriage, which is a living entity. And it has a life of its own. And if you don't feed and nourish that third thing, not only will it die, but then you're broken apart again.Lesley Logan 22:15  Yeah. Yeah. You should become a counselor as well.Anthony Benenati 22:18  What do you think after class is about? When people feel comfortable with you, they come after class and then they start telling you about deeper issues, right, things that not the body, but the why, the why that they're here. Why are they struggling? Why are they having a hard time? I was actually listening to one of your previous podcast this morning, as we were taking me and my wife were taking a walk, Ashley, around the lake here, and we were listening, and it was the client, or the person you had on that had stage four cancer. Lesley Logan 22:54  Oh, yeah. Anthony Benenati 22:55  And I remember you said something, and it was very astute. You said that. Well, you didn't know how many, and I looked it up, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day, and you said about 95% of them are negative, right? And it's true. It's like we have these same repetitive thoughts all throughout the day, and the majority of them, the vast majority of them, are negative or repeat from the day before and the day before and the day before. And at what point do you start addressing this and start changing the narrative? Yoga is the invitation to start learning that you can that there is an issue first and then the tools to change them. Lesley Logan 23:43  Yeah.Anthony Benenati 23:45  So I love yoga as a verb, as an action, not just a thing like we can name it, and you can't just name it and make it yo. You can't just put goats in the room and call it yoga. It's not. Lesley Logan 24:01  Yeah, I'm with you on that. I mean, like, because it's cute everyone and so don't at me. It is adorable, and if it gets people in, sure, but also, like, you're now paying attention to the goat, not you, which is like, another distraction that, you know, I think, like, I think, I think it's really easy, people want to distract themselves from all that's going on. Like, first of all, you've been a teacher since the 90s, so in L.A., which means use your studio was around during lots of things. Like, you know, I don't, I don't remember when, like, the riots were, if your studio is open, but then there was, like, 911 and. Anthony Benenati 24:46  The riots werre '92 so it was just after I got here, so I opened the studio in '99 so 911 happened for us, and that was a remarkable time. Obviously, the next, Gulf War happened, and lots of other things. And, you know, the studio became a community. It became a place for people to go, even if they just wanted to sit and be in the room, let alone practice. I remember the practice after 911 people just wanted to sit and gather and cry and talk and rage and not move. They didn't want to move their bodies. They just needed community. They felt so detached.Lesley Logan 25:24  Yeah. I mean, I wasn't any, I wasn't in a practice at the time, but I remember, because we were in California, so you're so removed, but you're not, you know? And so I can see how, like, your space can be that. And I think, like, it's so cool and also so big to have us to do a practice that can be so many things for people. It can be the community that they need, it could be the safe space that they share, and it can be a constant, like, it's there, no matter when things are good or when things are bad. And we don't have a lot of those things, right? Like, there's not there's not a lot of places or things you can do even when times are good and when times are bad, and I know you're gonna tell me good and bad, but like, you know, in the in the happier, joyful times versus, like, the sadder times.Anthony Benenati 26:09  Right, now we're in a really difficult time, and we've been here before. 2008 we were here the last time this particular President was in office. We were here. And we go through these cycles, and they're not unlike other cycles throughout the history of life, and we will have more. And it's not always positive, it's not always happy, it's not always on the incline. Sometimes it takes a dip. And you and I both know that that's really where you're tested. You're tested in the dips. You're never tested when things are great, and you're never going to change when things are comfortable either. Change only happens when you're uncomfortable.Lesley Logan 26:47  Yeah, it's really true. One of the my favorite things that you would bring up when we were in class is talking about, like, you know, you can't have love without hate, the equal opposite. And I was hoping you can, like, dive into that a little bit for us. Because I think, one, I actually think since these several moments of 2008 and 2016, and and now it's really easy for people to not see good and so it makes me go, like you guys, like you're seeing all the hate. Like, are you recognizing it's equal opposite. But I also, like, I think it's hard. I think people are always waiting for another shoe to drop, as opposed to, like, noticing when things are are also going well. But anyways, I wanted to know if you could, like, just share a little bit about that, because my listeners haven't heard that, and it was my favorite things. Like, Brad brought up your, like, Saturday morning classes today in a call with people, and he said, like, there'd be like, 50 people in this room, and you know, like you would often bring that up, and it was always around the same time that, like, something not great was going on. We all just felt it, whether it was in the city or the world. And like, you have to remind yourself of those things. Anthony Benenati 27:53  It ties into the whole good and bad thing, because it's a reframing of thought. Like, you have to really reframe this idea that even, even if it's something that you don't like, it's serving something. So it's a basic function of physics, like, things wouldn't exist if it didn't have an opposite, right? You wouldn't know joy if you didn't know pain, you wouldn't know laughter if you didn't know sadness, you wouldn't have anything to reference it to. So your capacity to love is directly related to your capacity to hate, to feeling these negative, quote, negative feelings versus these positive. They're there to balance each other out, and it's the idea is that it's your choice which one you want to feed. You remember Star Wars, right? Think about the force. The force is this, is this neutral thing, and it's how you choose to use it. They were all using the same force. But the lesson was, am I going to use this to help empower and further and engage, or am I going to use this for selfish and personal and destructive reasons? Same energy, how do you use it? So rather than wasting your time on whether something is good or bad or right and wrong, it really serves you to think, is this serving me? Because, like you said earlier, at some point in your life, it served you, whether it was to keep you safe when you were a child, for instance, maybe you were in a really bad home life, and you learned coping mechanisms. You learn, for instance, maybe how to shut it out, right, and how to go into your own cave, which is, which is very easy for me to do. If things get too much, I tend to remove myself and go back into this little cave. Well, you can't do that when you're in relationship. Yeah. Well, you certainly can't do that for very long, right? You need tools like, yes, I need to go take 10 or 30 minutes to myself, but I'll be back. It's that communication, to let that other person know I'm not leaving you. I'm not not communicating with you, but I do need to take care of myself. So it's changing, the languaging around this. So it helps me to think, for instance, this bad time that we're having right now, it's temporary. Now, temporary may mean years.Anthony Benenati 27:55  Yeah, I know I had a like, a thing, like, like, a little mantra card that's, everything, everything, everything is temporary. And I'm like, and temporary does not mean two seconds, two minutes, two weeks.Anthony Benenati 30:02  Exactly. There is no time limit on temporary, but it will end. Things always do. Things always change, but it was helpful to me to look at kind of life in that different way. I wasn't raised like that. I was raised as a Catholic, so it was always guilt and shame and right and wrong and very linear thinking, very black and white thinking, very dualistic, instead of this idea that maybe it's not so black and white, maybe there is the gray. And I think we're all learning that extremism on either end is not the path. So, far right or far left, we're not going to get anywhere because we're isolating. We have to find a way to start communicating again and finding common ground and stop making other the problem. Lesley Logan 31:41  Yeah, yeah. Anthony Benenati 31:43  That's my that's my I think that goes on and off the mat. Don't look at your body as a bad thing. Don't look at it as something that you need to conquer or change, or that somehow there's something wrong with you. How can I enhance myself? How can I make me who I am, and everything that I am that may not be somebody else, but very unique to me. How can I make myself even better, a better version of me, not, not somebody else. I don't have to be somebody else. I just have to be the best me I can be.Lesley Logan 32:18  Yeah. That makes me think of like, I interviewed a happiness strategist, and I was like, you know, I was like, this is interesting, because, like, like, can you be happy all the time? And she's like, well, of course not. She's like, like, she's like, she's like, but she said your ability to be happy is as directly related to how uncomfortable you can get, like, how comfortable withuncomfortable. You can get like, that's, can you like, what's your resilience? And she, you know, and I think, like, I think a lot of people have been outsourcing so long how they feel based on, like, what's going on out in the world, and not going back to like, how can I make myself the best version? Because we can affect the people around us more easily when you were talking about other it made me think you guys Google the Heineken commercial. It's quite long, but they literally took, like, people of opposite extremes and like, they took a guy who, like, voted against gay marriage, and then they took a lesbian and they put them in a room together, and they have to, like, build a desk, right? And like, and they, a table, or they build something. And the guy, like, this one guy is like, completely, I got this. I like, I can do these things, right? And she's like, and like, so they have to work together to build this thing. And like, each personal strengths have to do it, and then they have to sit down and have a beer. And at the end, the people who like when they interviewed them before they met the person they're building with, it would be like, I don't understand transgenders. I think they have to know rights, blah, blah, blah. And then they meet someone who's transgender, but they just built this desk together, and you watch this person go, well, let's have another drink and like, so it's really fascinating that, like, if we can actually stop, you know, being on the opposite sides, we can actually be together, and you get to know people, you're more likely to hear them and listen to them and realize we're kind of like what you think has been influenced by so much, by other people who are louder and you you actually love people who are around you more than you know, you know? And so I think that's what's so beautiful about a yoga class, or even Pilates classes, they can attract people from all sides of a spectrum and have a shared experience. And you know, because, and the more they get to know themselves, the more ideally, and this may be the idealist in me, like they think about caring for others, because they can, because once you've, once you've taken care of you, you actually have the capacity to actually care about other people.Anthony Benenati 34:45  Oxygen mask, baby. It's all about putting on your oxygen mask, right? You got to put yours on first. You can't help anybody else if you're passed out. But I like what you said there, too, because Yoga does want to meet people where they're at. I remember, I had this woman in class. She always sat up front and in the beginning of class, at that time, we would chant the sound of om in the beginning of class, just to settle the class and get things going. And she would never chant, and that's fine. You don't have to, right? It's again, everything's an invitation. But she did come up to me after class one day, and we had a conversation, and I asked her why, and she says, well, you know, I'm a devout Jew, and I feel like I'm sort of disrespecting my tradition if I'm doing something I don't understand. And I said, well, I'm so glad that you brought that up. First of all, yoga doesn't care what you believe. You can believe you know, Orange is God, and you can still practice. Yoga doesn't require a belief, it just requires a willingness. And I said, well, you're a devout Jew, so what are you comfortable saying? And she said, well, shalom. And I said, Well, what's in the middle of shalom? And she said om. And I said, exactly. So from that point on, we would chant om, and she would chant shalom, and she would just hold the om. It, for some reason, it gave her permission. It was totally fine with everybody else, and then she felt included. That was a wonderful story. Lesley Logan 36:19  I love that. I think also giving people permission, right? Like, I think that's what, you know, people can have permission to move their body, but also be in practice. Like, that's why it's called a yoga practice, and I think that's what it does so well, something that, like, I call it a Pilates practice, and there are a lot of people like me who call it practice, but there's also a lot of people who don't understand that, and they don't call it that, and they're like, I gotta get this. And it's like, no, what are you talking about, like, you're never gonna like, you don't get that. Like, it's your body. Your body's different every single day. Like, there are days like, at 6am I do Pilates, and at 8am I work out with you, and my body between those two hours is very different. And I'm like, whoa. I, what happened on my dog walk that this is no longer an option. I do, I do like that. Okay, I want to go into, because I think, like, you have had so many chapters in your yoga career, and what how you are, how you are teaching yoga now, is very different than what you did for the majority on your studio and things like that. Like we talk about some, be it till you see it moments and like, kind of like, what your what are you being till you see it, right now?Anthony Benenati 37:20  You're right. I did go through a lot when you when you have a studio for that long, you know, you go through a lot of changes, including me and my original partner, we split, and then there was that moment where you had to decide who's going to fight for this, who's going to get the studio, because we both wanted it, and that was that was all about desire. Do you really want this? And how bad do you want it? And then after that, there were other things that came up every time you're being tested. And you will be tested no matter how committed you think you are to whatever it is that you think you want, you're going to continue to be tested. And it just is a way to reaffirm, do I really want to be it? Do I really want to do this? For me now, you're right. It is different. My body is different. My practice is different, and not in a bad or a good way, just different. This is the different body than it was when it was in my late 20s. Being it now is, for me, is really being about being authentic, being authentic to the moment, being authentic to my students, but really being authentic to my own inner voice. And every time I get on the mat, the first thing I tell my students is, listen, listen to your body. It's going to tell you something different today than it did yesterday. If you come onto the mat with an agenda, most of the time, you're going to be disappointed, because you don't know that your body's ready to do those things that day, that particular day, maybe you need something completely different than you thought. We have to be open to that. And then the day I decided that my time of studio ownership was over, that was a tough one. That was a really hard day. But the moment I decided to make that shift, I felt so much more freedom. Yoga had changed, you know, it really had become corporate. At this point, it was being completely watered down. People were barely doing teacher trainings and leading yoga classes, and it just became too much of a struggle to do the business of yoga versus being the teacher. You know, when you own your own business, you never are not working. That's the thing. It's 24/7 right? You don't get to clock out and go home and forget about it. Lesley Logan 39:50  Yeah, there's a reason why I like, watch White Lotus. I'm like, because I'm not where I can't work and watch White Lotus like, this is me being awesome. That's how it serves me. Even if it, like, gives me a little stress and anxiety, I'm like, but I'm not working, so I get it, no, like, I mean, like, yeah, and then I I, I'm where I'm married to someone I work with. So it's never, it's never off. Yeah, but I, thank you for sharing that, because, I mean, like, I think a lot of people, there's an aspiration to start something or do something or own something. But as you said, you've evolved. Not only has yoga evolved, but you've evolved. Your body has changed. And I think sometimes we forget that as we evolve, we outgrow some roles, you know, and like, just like you outgrow clothes, like you outgrow, like you outgrow a role, and it's like owning a studio serves such a good purpose, like a good purpose at the time, like you had a partner and a family and, like all these things. And then it also got to a place where it's like all this is changing, and I have, too, you know, but that's so hard to like, because it's like a light switch. Anthony Benenati 40:58  Yeah. Well, you know, I had felt it, but not really paid attention to it. And you know how your body does, your body will jump in there and it'll call your attention. And I literally had my one and only panic attack at that moment. It was like, oh yeah, this is a sign you are not in a good place. This, this, this, it's time to get out. It's time this, this had run its course. And that was a hard decision to really give up the thing that you worked so hard to create. But it was also learning that that was separate from who I was, that we were not inextricably connected, that we were these individual things, and we did create a third thing, but that third thing was dying, and it was time to change into something else.Lesley Logan 41:46  Yeah, yeah. What are you most excited about right now?Anthony Benenati 41:51  Oh my gosh, we are empty nesters. That's the most, 25 years of being a parent.Lesley Logan 41:59  I had someone I just interviewed. She's like, I'm a bird launcher. She's like, I've launched all my birds. They're all birds. They're all launched. Like, the positive of that.Anthony Benenati 42:10  It is so true. We are so excited about this next chapter for us, which is freedom in a lot of different ways, right? I mean, you're never not the parent, but they don't need you every day anymore. They need you when they need you and and happy to be there when they do. Like this morning, my youngest called from college, and she stayed on the phone for over an hour. And she just needed feedback. She needed to connect. She didn't necessarily need a ton of advice. She just, you could feel that she needed connection. For now, for me, it really is about this next chapter. Your lives are a bunch of chapters, and at being, you know, 50, I'll be 58 this year. It's a very I know, right? Yeah, I can't believe it myself, but this idea now that I can make choices solely for me or solely for us as a couple and not oh my god, what are we going to do with the kids, and is this child going to come? Or are they not going to come, or are we going to do this all together, that we can make these choices for ourselves, I'm really excited about that. That's the personal aspect of it. Professionally, professionally, things have changed, you know, ever since covid, everybody went online, and which is great. It's a great way to connect to everybody, but I still feel the need to be in the classroom, yeah, and we do those in persons, and we do those yoga retreats, and we do those monthly workshops, just so that people can have that feeling of connection and community again. Lesley Logan 43:52  Yeah, I think that's why we do our tours, too. Like, I love being online, because I can impact people without having to travel as much. And also, like, I need to see bodies in three dimensions.Anthony Benenati 44:03  Right. How do you make an adjustment with you can't see and touch? Lesley Logan 44:06  No, I'm literally going so if I was there, I would hold your arms still. Imagine I'm like, is your child around? Can they grab your arms and hold them? Hold their hold their arms. Okay. Now go.Anthony Benenati 44:18  That's so good. Lesley Logan 44:19  You know, but like, I think, I think that's why, like, I like the idea of, like, really reframing what's good or bad. Because, like, I think it could be so easy, like, back before the pandemic, like, oh, online is terrible. You can't have those things. But we, Brad and I used to, like, call you just be on the phone. Because I was like, I can't handle the traffic. I can't but I want you. So just, just be on just be on speakerphone, and we'll mute ourselves, and we'll be, you know, but like, when the pandemic happened, I was like, oh, I love this, because now I can have access to the people, I don't live in the same town as you, and I, Brad and I still get to have that practice with you, and I think, but also, yeah, we miss, like, actual hugs and actually seeing people, and you have to be more intentional. But I think that that, I think then we are more intentional, you know, so that is also cool.Anthony Benenati 45:08  Yeah, we really mourned the day you guys left.Lesley Logan 45:12  When we moved from L.A. to Las Vegas was during the pandemic, and we didn't actually have a mourning, because nothing was actually happening in person, the more like it was a year and a half later when things opened back up and we were not part of the opening back up that was like, so it was a delayed mourning, a delayed grief for us. Okay, obviously, we're gonna all catch up, guys. We're gonna take a brief break, find out how people can find you, follow you, do yoga with you. Anthony Benenati 45:39  Great. Lesley Logan 45:40  All right, Anthony, where do you hang out? Like, are you on the Instagram? Or is there just a simpler way? How can people do yoga with you or learn more about what you're doing? Where do you where can they go? Anthony Benenati 45:52  Well, they can go to my website, which is, thatsnotyoga.com and of course, there's a story behind that, because that's a pretty bold statement, which was intentional. One of the misconceptions about yoga is that anything goes, right, and that is so far from the truth. If yoga is about anything, it's about setting meaningful boundaries. So if you take a bunch of energy and you narrow it, you're going to increase the flow of that energy. Just think of water. Take a lake. Narrow the boundaries. It becomes a river. Narrow the boundaries even more, becomes a raging river. So most people think that if you limit their choices, then you're limiting their freedom. But I call it the Cheesecake Factory theory. Walk into a Cheesecake Factory and you sit down, and they literally throw you down a book. And they're like, okay, what do you want? And you can have anything. The book is like, an inch thick. And I just get overloaded because there's too many choices. I much prefer to go to a restaurant where they just print the menu that day and there's six things on it, and you can have this, this or this, and I'm like, great, I'll have that. The narrowing of your choices actually gives you more freedom, because you're constantly saying no to a bunch of things while you're saying yes to a limited amount of things, right? Like being in marriage, you're saying yes to Brad and no to everybody else. It's this process that continues throughout your entire day, right? What am I letting in? What am I consciously keeping away? I love that understanding.Lesley Logan 47:42  I love that. So you guys just so you know, because he didn't say it, but I'm gonna say it for him. Brad and I can do yoga online with this man. You do it three times a week. I try to show up twice a week when I'm there. And Brad, we're getting him on the 8 am wake up call. We're working on. Do you remember? Do you remember when he used to do it 6 am? I think we have to remind him that he used to do 6 am yoga. Anthony Benenati 48:03  Absolutely. Lesley Logan 48:03  When the bed was further away from the studio was the the thing. So you guys can do that. You can find that on, on, thatsnot yoga.com. You kind of just gave us a Be It Action Item. But I just want to see like, if there's any other bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. Anthony Benenati 48:18  Okay. The the, the the triad, the triumvirate that we like to follow in the practice, is desire, knowledge, action. Those are my Be It moments. To break it down, you got to want to do something, then you have to learn how to do it, and then you do it, this whole idea of just do it, that's not going to work. Just doing something without knowing how to do it can cause you harm doing something and you don't have the real desire to do it, you're not going to put your best effort in. If you do those three things in that order, you can pretty much do whatever you want to do. You've got to want to do it. You got to learn how to do it, and then you simply have to do it, and you have to commit to doing it over and over and over again to create that meaningful change. Those are my action items. And the thing is, is, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. That's the thing. You're, exactly, more freedom. And that's whole, that's yoga's goal. Yoga just wants you to be more free. But that doesn't mean no boundaries. It means establishing meaningful boundaries, boundaries that are going to channel you in the direction you want to go. And guess what, people, you can always change your mind. You can always change your mind.Lesley Logan 49:48  I mean, that is like that needs to be on people's walls. Because I find like, you know, like, imagine if you never gave yourself permission to change your mind. You might, you might, the world might have lost a yoga teacher that day, because you would have had a panic attack and then a burnout, you know, like, you can change your mind on your schedule, you can change your mind on your goals. You can change your mind on lot of things, like, you know, and that is for the perfectionist, listening. That might be the hardest thing you learn.Anthony Benenati 50:14  I'm speaking to you, perfectionist.Lesley Logan 50:17  Yeah, oh my gosh, Anthony, obviously I could talk to you for hours. And clearly Brad is like itching to walk in this room, you guys, so we gotta let him in so you can say hi to his friend, but thank you for being here, and thank you for just sharing so much of your wisdom. I continue to learn from you. Always. I can't wait to learn more. Someday we're gonna do a joint Pilates, yoga. That is my dream. That is my vision. Maybe on the Summer Tour. Maybe you'll be our L.A. event. So see, you guys, let us know what your favorite takeaways were. Let Anthony know in thatsnotyoga. Let the Be It Pod know and share this with a friend who needs to hear it, because that's how everyone wins. You know, we all can take away something from this, and I'd love to hear what yours are, and you know what to do, until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 51:02  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 51:41  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 51:46  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 51:50  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 51:58  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 52:01  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 52:14  I'm interviewing Anthony. Anthony Benenati 52:15  Hi, Brad. Lesley Logan 52:16  Yeah, it's an interview right now. No, we're not done. You're just interrupting. We'll put this in the bloopers. He's come in twice, and I'm like, um. Anthony Benenati 52:24  What's up, buddy? Brad Crowell 52:26  I wanted to say hi. Lesley Logan 52:27  Yeah. Okay, alright, one second, let me get to those Be It Action Items. Okay. We'll talk.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of Mindfully Masculine, Charles and Dan dive into Chapters 16 and 17 of Mel Robbins' The Let Them Theory: The More You Rescue, The More They Sink and How to Provide Support the Right Way.They explore why stepping in to “rescue” often backfires, how shame and denial complicate real support, and why presence and patience are more powerful than quick fixes. Along the way, they share stories about hidden struggles, money boundaries, and what it means to be a calm, nonjudgmental presence in a crisis.Listeners will also hear a candid discussion of “harmful help” versus healthy support, the psychology of ignoring warnings until consequences hit, and how frameworks from Gretchen Rubin and BJ Fogg can shape motivation and lasting change.If you've ever felt torn between helping someone you love and protecting your own peace, this conversation will help you navigate the difference between rescuing and truly supporting.Support the show

BJ Fogg is one of the world's top experts on habits. He is a behavior scientist and the founder and director of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. He is also the New York Times bestselling author of Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything, which introduces readers to his breakthrough method for creating lasting behavior change. As a sought-after speaker and consultant, BJ has helped thousands of people transform their lives through habit formation. In this classic episode of ⁠the Elevate Podcast⁠ BJ joined host Robert Glazer on to discuss why habits are the foundation of all achievement, and how to form the habits needed to reach your full potential. Thank you to the sponsors of The Elevate Podcast Shopify: ⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/elevate⁠⁠⁠ Indeed: ⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/elevate⁠⁠⁠ Found: ⁠⁠⁠found.com/elevate⁠⁠⁠ Fabric: ⁠⁠⁠meetfabric.com/elevate Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3705: Dr. Neil emphasizes that the key to long-term fitness isn't more health information, it's daily inspiration and strategic habit formation. Using small, achievable actions anchored to existing routines, he offers clear, science-backed methods to make exercise and healthy behaviors a natural part of everyday life. Quotes to ponder: "We don't need health information, we need health inspiration." "You've just created a new habit." "What inspires you?" Episode references: Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: https://www.tinyhabits.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3705: Dr. Neil emphasizes that the key to long-term fitness isn't more health information, it's daily inspiration and strategic habit formation. Using small, achievable actions anchored to existing routines, he offers clear, science-backed methods to make exercise and healthy behaviors a natural part of everyday life. Quotes to ponder: "We don't need health information, we need health inspiration." "You've just created a new habit." "What inspires you?" Episode references: Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: https://www.tinyhabits.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3705: Dr. Neil emphasizes that the key to long-term fitness isn't more health information, it's daily inspiration and strategic habit formation. Using small, achievable actions anchored to existing routines, he offers clear, science-backed methods to make exercise and healthy behaviors a natural part of everyday life. Quotes to ponder: "We don't need health information, we need health inspiration." "You've just created a new habit." "What inspires you?" Episode references: Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: https://www.tinyhabits.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of People Solve Problems, host Jamie Flinchbaugh welcomes Dr. Greg Jacobson, CEO and Co-founder of KaiNexus, for an insightful conversation about the intersection of medical training, psychological safety, and continuous improvement culture. Greg's journey into the world of Lean and Kaizen began in 2004 when his department chairman handed him Masaaki Imai's book "Kaizen" and said, "You think like this." As an emergency medicine doctor, Greg was immediately struck by the realization that there was an entire discipline focused on improving systems. He recognized that healthcare had so many operational inefficiencies that applying these principles in the emergency department could yield tremendous results through solving basic problems and capturing low-hanging fruit. The conversation explores how Greg's medical background both helps and hinders systematic thinking about business problems. He explains that physicians are trained with a scientific mindset where every patient encounter resembles an experiment - gathering evidence, forming hypotheses, running tests, and evaluating outcomes. This mirrors the problem-solving methodology used in Lean thinking, making the transition natural for some medical professionals. However, the competitive nature required to succeed in medical school and residency can create fixed mindsets and reduce curiosity, as many doctors become accustomed to being the "alpha dog" who always has the right answers. A significant portion of the discussion focuses on psychological safety and its critical role in enabling improvement. Greg defines psychological safety as "being rewarded for being vulnerable" - whether that's admitting you don't know something, raising concerns about broken processes, or challenging existing systems. Through his experience working in emergency departments across the United States and even New Zealand, he observed that departments where people felt safe to speak up consistently had better outcomes than those where the culture encouraged keeping quiet and just getting the job done. Jamie and Greg explore how technology systems can actually enhance psychological safety by creating a buffer between individuals and problems. When issues are logged in a system rather than raised face-to-face, it shifts the dynamic from personal confrontation to collaborative problem-solving. The issue becomes the common enemy that everyone works together to address, rather than a source of interpersonal tension. Greg notes that rather than reducing human interaction, electronic systems actually increase communication by creating visibility and fostering engagement around improvement opportunities. The conversation turns to habit science and its application to continuous improvement culture. Greg credits reading "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg, "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, and "Tiny Habits" by BJ Fogg with transforming both his personal life and his understanding of organizational change. He explains how KaiNexus applies the habit loop concept - cue, routine, reward - to create interconnected behaviors across different organizational levels. The routine of one person becomes the trigger for another person's habit, creating a web of positive behaviors that sustain improvement culture. When asked about his personal habit transformation, Greg shares how he moved from being an inconsistent squash player who would "demolish his body" once or twice a week to someone who exercises daily. After tearing his ACL in his forties, he used habit science principles to change his identity and create sustainable physical activity routines. Throughout the discussion, Greg emphasizes that KaiNexus is fundamentally about the human transformation that technology enables, not the technology itself. The platform's value comes from people interacting with it in specific ways that foster continuous improvement behaviors across the organization. For more information about Greg's work, visit kainexus.com or connect with him on LinkedIn.

180/154: In diesem Video, welches wir beim Norddeutschen Rundfunk live aufgenommen haben, erzählt Swantje Allmers von ihrer persönlichen Reise als Workaholic. Erfahre, wie sie die Warnzeichen von Burnout ignorierte, welche körperlichen und emotionalen Konsequenzen das hatte und wie sie schließlich den Weg zurück zu einem gesunden Gleichgewicht fand. Dieses Gespräch ist für alle, die sich zwischen Karriere und Selbstfürsorge verlieren, und zeigt eindrucksvoll, warum Work-Life-Balance mehr als nur ein Trend ist. Hört in diese Folge, wenn ihr nach Tipps sucht, um Überarbeitung und Stress zu vermeiden, und Inspiration braucht, um den eigenen Anspruch an Erfolg neu zu definieren! Swantje Allmers ist Autorin, CEO und Gründerin der NWMS GmbH und eine der gefragtesten Stimmen zum Thema HR und Arbeitswelt. Nach dem Wirtschaftsstudium und mehrjähriger Forschungstätigkeit baute sie als Head of Corporate Planning die damals neu gegründete Unternehmung TUI Cruises mit auf und spezialisierte sich im Anschluss auf die Bereiche Organisationsentwicklung, agiles Arbeiten, Selbstmanagement sowie Change und Transformation. Sie unterstützt Executives, Teams und Unternehmen bei aktuellen Herausforderungen. Gelernt hat sie bei den Besten ihres Faches, wie z. B. NLP von Richard Bandler, Scrum von Jeff Sutherland, Holacracy von Brian Robertson, GTD von David Allen, Habits von BJ Fogg und LAB-Profiling von Shelle Rose Charvet. Gemeinsam mit Michael Trautmann und Christoph Magnussen hat sie den Bestseller „On the Way to New Work“ geschrieben, wurde 2023 als eine der 99 wichtigsten HR-Stimmen ausgezeichnet, erhielt den DRX Award als HR-Content Expertin und ist LinkedIn Top Voice „Job und Karriere“ 2024.

Sabina Nawaz: You're the Boss Sabina Nawaz is an executive coach who advises C-level executives and teams at Fortune 500 corporations, government agencies, nonprofits, and academic institutions. During her 14-year tenure at Microsoft, she went from managing software development teams to leading the company's executive development and succession planning efforts for over 11,000 managers and nearly a thousand executives, advising Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer directly. She's the author of You're the Boss: Become the Manager You Want to Be (and Others Need)*. Every leader I know intends to be authentic. Unfortunately, we sometimes use authenticity as an excuse not to do the critical work of calibrating our actions. In this conversation, Sabina and I discuss how to avoid that trap so we can show up more genuinely for others. Key Points “Yeah, but…” signals justification and holds us back from what we most need to learn. Your success comes despite unhelpful traits, not because of them. Pure authenticity is a complete fallacy. Authenticity is not singular. We sometimes use authenticity as an excuse not to do the important work of calibrating our actions. Don't let the smokescreen of past “authenticity” get in the way of growth. Authenticity is not static. Reading your old past social media posts will remind you of this. When shifting, start with small experiments to nudge you in a new direction. Language that may be warning signs of the authenticity trap: “That's just how I am.” “I'm not the kind of person who…” “I'm not being true to myself if…” “That's the way I've always done things, and it's worked for me.” Resources Mentioned You're the Boss: Become the Manager You Want to Be (and Others Need)* by Sabina Nawaz Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Change Your Behavior, with BJ Fogg (episode 507) How to Start a Big Leadership Role, with Carol Kauffman (episode 617) The Habits That Hold Leaders Back, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 696) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Are you struggling to form new habits that actually stick?If you've ever found yourself failing to break old habits, it's likely because you're using the wrong habit formation strategies. Thankfully, today's guest is going to unlock the key to transformational behavior change so you and your team can successfully adopt new ways of working.Today's guest is Jason Hreha. Jason is a behavioral scientist and entrepreneur who, after studying at Stanford and working in BJ Fogg's Behavior Design Lab, developed the Behavioral Strategy framework for business challenges. As CEO of Persona, he combines behavioral science assessments with rigorous vetting to connect companies with exceptional talent. Previously, as Global Head at Walmart, he established the first Fortune 100 behavioral science team. Jason is also the author of Real Change, a book redefining habit formation and personal growth. In this episode, Jason shares a breakthrough approach to behavior change that will reshape the way you think about habits.We explore the distinction between habits and transformative practices and why most people fail by choosing habits that are too complex or misaligned with their personality.Jason also explains the importance of behavior matching and how it can help both individuals and teams adopt the right practices for lasting impact. Plus, in the extended episode available to Podcast+ members, Jason shares practical, human-centered strategies to break bad habits for yourself and your team.Join the conversation now!Get FREE mini-episode guides with the big idea from the week's episode delivered to your inbox when you subscribe to my weekly email.Conversation Topics(00:00) Introduction(01:55) Habits vs. transformative practices(05:46) The problem with habit-forming strategies(08:15) Why behavior matching is more effective(10:47) Respecting individual strengths and weaknesses(17:31) How managers can introduce new team practices effectively(21:01) Exploring new behaviors as a way of growth(24:44) A great manager Jason has worked for(27:18) Keep up with Jason(28:09) [Extended Episode Only] How to break a bad habit for yourself or a team member (35:49) [Extended Episode Only] Embracing personality traits for effective behavior changeAdditional Resources:- Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month- Read the full transcript here- Follow me on Instagram here - Visit my website for more here- Upskill your team here- Subscribe to my YouTube Channel here Keep up with Jason Hreha - Follow Jason on LinkedIn, Twitter/X, and Instagram- Follow Persona for more updates on LinkedIn, Twitter/X, and Facebook- Subscribe to The Behavioral Scientist on YouTube here- Visit Persona Talent and The Behavioral Scientist for more informationFREE: First Half of Real Change: Moving Beyond Habits to Achieve Lasting TransformationJason is providing members of Podcast+ with the first half of his book Real Change: Moving Beyond Habits to Achieve Lasting Transformation, for free! This book debunks the myths of habit hacking and guides you towards meaningful, lasting transformation through the innovative Transformative Practice Path. Whether you're a seasoned professional or just starting out, this book will empower you to create the meaningful life you've always desired.To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.---------------------The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won't miss an episode!

Ever feel like your new habits are stuck in “I'll start Monday” mode? In this episode, Dr. Lisa shares a story about her client's husband, and her own six-month delay in starting a shuffle dance class, to explore why habit change feels so hard. You'll learn how perfectionism, time expectations, and lack of reward can stall progress, and how to use the Tiny Habits method by Dr. BJ Fogg to finally build momentum. Whether your goal is daily exercise, better sleep, or cooking more at home, this episode gives you practical tools to make new behaviors so small and satisfying, they become automatic. Plus, you'll hear how something as simple as writing a word on a calendar can be just the reward your brain needs to keep going.Thanks for listening! If you'd like more support during your SMART weight loss & health focused journey, sign up for our FREE newsletter, or check out our program at: www.SmartWeightLossCoaching.com. We would love to help you reach your happy weight, and transform the way you talk to yourself about your body and the number on the scale. Negative thoughts about yourself don't have to take up so much brain space, and we'd be honored to help you reframe those thoughts. Also…We'd be grateful if you'd follow us and share our podcast with your friends & family. We're here to help you improve your health, live longer, healthier, and lose weight the SMART way! This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: www.ThePodcastTeacher.com.

Change doesn't happen by accident - it happens when you understand how behaviour actually works. In this solo episode, Andrew May breaks down science-backed frameworks that simplify change and help you create lasting results.You'll learn: ✔ Why most people struggle to stick with change (and how to avoid it) ✔ BJ Fogg's Behaviour Change MAP (Motivation + Ability + Prompt) explained ✔ How to use Habit Stacking to make new behaviours feel automatic ✔ The biggest mistakes people make when trying to change ✔ Your next stepsWhether you're ready to build new habits, boost your energy, improve performance, or finally get unstuck - this episode gives you a clear, practical roadmap to start small and create meaningful change that lasts.In this episode Andrew talks about:00:10 Why Andrew is making this solo podcast.1:30 Andrew's 2 favourite change models.2:55 Why new years resolutions fail.4:15 The difficulty in implementing large behaviour change programs and why shifting mindset is difficult.6:50 B.J. Fogg's change map model and simplifying this information to make change easier.9:45 identifying potential barriers to change.10:30 The importance of triggers or prompts to remind you to try a new behaviour and an example of this using mindfulness.12:45 James Clears book Atomic Habits and stacking simple habits.14:35 The stages of readiness model and the 5 stages of change.17:15 The seesaw of ambivalence.18:45 Change takes more than 21 days on a large scale.19:30 Why join a gym if you don't like going?20:25 Relapsing up to 10 times can be a normal experience in change.21:40 Write down the changes you want to make.23:00 Avoid getting overwhelmed with big changes all at once.24:00 Don't expect perfection. 25:30 Share your goals to keep yourself accountable.26:30 Keynote participant Peta's story of making big changes to her life.34:30 Wrap up.RESOURCES: Download: Behaviour MAP: https://performanceintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/model-1.pdf Download: Stages of Readiness template: https://performanceintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/model-2.pdf Study: Do fit kids have fit parents? https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33475262/ Study: The Influence of Parental Dietary Behaviors and Practices on Children's Eating Habits https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8067332/#sec8-nutrients-13-01138 Study: Writing down your goals increases success by 42%: https://kitzu.org/study-highlights-strategies-for-achieving-goals/  Use Code "PIPODCAST10" to get 10% off your Lumo Coffee order:https://lumocoffee.com/ Interested in sharing your story? Email Producer Shannon at support@performanceintelligence.com today with your story and contact details. Learn more about Andrew and Performance Intelligence: https://performanceintelligence.com/Find out more about Andrew's Keynotes : https://performanceintelligence.com/keynotes/Follow Andrew May: https://www.instagram.com/andrewmay/If you enjoy the podcast, we would really appreciate you leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Play. It takes less than 60 seconds and really helps us build our audience and continue to provide high quality guests.

In this solo episode of Challenge to Lead, Beka Shea dives into the power of tiny habits and how they can transform your leadership style, team alignment, and business outcomes. Inspired by Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg and the ever-popular Atomic Habits by James Clear, Beka shares real-world examples of how CEOs unknowingly sabotage their own growth—and how small, consistent leadership habits can unlock the next level.Whether you struggle with over-controlling decisions, unclear communication, or abdicating leadership responsibility, this episode offers tangible strategies rooted in behavioral science and real client stories. You'll learn how to identify your leadership blind spots, change your behavior through motivation, ability, and prompt, and build habits that actually stick—without adding more to your plate.If you're a founder, executive, or team leader looking to scale your impact, this episode will help you reset your routines, reclaim your role, and lead with clarity and intention. Because in leadership, it's not the big swings—it's the small reps that drive the real change.

In this episode, Lesley Logan talks with Stephanie O'Dea—New York Times bestselling author, viral blogger, and now a slow living coach—about what it really means to live intentionally. From building a wildly successful crockpot recipe blog to burning out on hustle culture, Stephanie shares how tuning in, slowing down, and redefining success helped her create a life she actually wants to live. This is a must-listen for anyone who's tired of chasing someone else's version of success and ready to start trusting themselves again.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How Stephanie's slow cooker challenge became a bestselling brand.Why she walked away from hustle culture to embrace slow living.How redefining success helped her build a life she actually enjoys.Why slow living isn't about doing less, but about doing what matters.How to release guilt and build intentional routines aligned with your values. Episode References/Links:Stephanie O'Dea's Website - https://stephanieodea.comFree Daily Journaling Worksheet - stephanieodea.com/dailyStephanie O'Dea's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stephanieodeaStephanie O' Dea Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/StephanieODea.authorSlow Living Book by Stephanie O'Dea - https://a.co/d/dK5en1ySlow Living Podcast - https://stephanieodea.com/podcastGretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin - https://a.co/d/gQ5ToVpGuest Bio:Stephanie O'Dea is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and coach specializing in Slow Living. With a background in social work, early childhood education, and trauma-informed yoga, she offers a holistic approach to wellness. Through her books, coaching, and Slow Living podcast, Stephanie helps people slow down, reconnect with their purpose, and create sustainable balance. Her latest book, Slow Living: Cultivating a Life of Purpose in a Hustle-Driven World, reflects her mission. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, three daughters, and a basset hound named Sheldon. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/ Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/ Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Stephanie O'Dea 0:00  Slow is simply look only within and it's the idea that you actually have the answers, and you don't need to be saved. You don't need bro culture or internet marketers to tell you what you should be doing. If you're slow and calm, the answers kind of bubble up.Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  Hey, Be It babe, how are you? Okay, I promise you you've never heard about a living like this before, and our guest today is like the queen of what she does. I'm gonna let her tell you what she does, but I'm gonna tell you right now, I wanna live next to this woman. I want her to be my neighbor. I want her to be a friend that I can just call. I am going to save this episode just so I can hear the end of it over and over and over again, especially on the days that I need to hear it. You guys, Stephanie O'Dea is our guest today, and if you think that name sounds familiar, it's because it will. You'll hear about that in a second. And I am just so obsessed. This interview is kind of one of the reasons why I'm like, oh my god. I love that I get to do this podcast. I am feel like the luckiest girl in the world, because I get to learn from these amazing guests, and then I get to share that with you. And so y'all, buckle up, take a deep breath, slow down. This episode is gonna rock your world in the best way. Lesley Logan 1:58  All right, Be It babe. This is gonna be really exciting. I think we've never had this topic before. I'm always interested when there's something new, a new way for us to be it till we see it. And today's guest is Stephanie O'Dea. Can you tell us, everyone, who you are and what you rock at?Stephanie O'Dea 2:11  Absolutely, I'm Stephanie O'Dea, and I write, coach, teach and speak about all things slow living. Lesley Logan 2:18  Okay, right. Stephanie O'Dea 2:20  I know. I promise I'm not just sitting on the couch, twiddling my thumbs, eating Bonbons, doing nothing. I promise there's a method to the madness. Lesley Logan 2:28  Yeah, obviously we're all intrigued, like, what is slow living? But maybe we need to know what that is before we can figure out how you got to doing slow living. So we're also on the same page, yeah.Stephanie O'Dea 2:38  Yeah. So I look at slow living as meeting your goals, all of them, your personal and your professional goals, in a slow, steady and sustainable way. And if we can circle and highlight and underline and put some pointers at sustainable, that's what it's at. Because I think we all know the feeling of being gung-ho. And I'm going to do this now, and I'm gonna eat this way, and I'm gonna work out this way, and I'm gonna get up at at 3 a.m. and I'm gonna have rock star abs at the end of the week. Lesley Logan 3:09  Oh yeah. Stephanie O'Dea 3:09  Yeah. And spoiler alert, if you're listening, chances are you're a human and not a robot. And well, who knows, the robots may be taking over, but in real life, people have ups and downs and all arounds and variables they can't control. So slow living, first off, has an acronym attached to it. I'm a super nerd when it comes to acronyms, and that's because my grandpa, when I was about seven, told me that the word SNAFU had the F word hiding in it, so it's situation normal, all effed up, like he told me, he told me, when I was seven, he actually said that, the bad word out loud. And I'm like, grown ups hide bad words in regular words. And so, like, since then, I've nerded out with acronyms. So slow living, slow is simply look only within and it's the idea that you actually have the answers, and you don't need to be saved. You don't need bro culture or internet marketers to tell you what you should be doing. If you're slow and calm, the answers kind of bubble up. So it's a big part of listening to your inner voice, to your inner gut, to your intuition, and then taking action on it. So the three-step success formula is mindset plus action plus consistency equals success. And so the new, yeah, the new book is broken up that way. And the idea is, when you're in a good mood, just ask yourself, like, what's the next best step for me to take? And then go quiet and listen, because you know the answer is inside. The answer is not going to be on a doom stroll of TikTok. It's legit inside of you, and you know what you're supposed to do. And then just do the thing over and over and over again, and even when you don't want to. Lesley Logan 5:03  I love this so much because I love that you put consistency in there. The only way to be consistent is if you actually are at a pace that you can consistently do. We were in Singapore the other day. I picked a bike taxi and the car, I was trying to figure out what's going on because the guy was driving the car, it would go, whoo. You know where your whole body moves like someone's taking off too fast at a red light, and then it would slow down, and then it would go like that again. And was like, literally for 16 minutes, the body was going like this, and like this, and like this. We were on the freeway, but I felt like urgency to leave the intersection, and then a hard -ish break but not a full break. And I got a headache. I got sick. Brad felt nauseous. I was like, I hope we don't get that cab going to dinner. Like, I cannot be in that car again. That's the idea of you can't be consistent at a pace like that, because you can't, your body doesn't do well, your brain doesn't do well. And so being consistent is so key to having the things that we want. But I also love you add, like, listening to yourself, because it's really hard to do that when you're kind of going too fast, like, you don't have time when everything is chaotic. How did you get into doing this? Like, were you born working slow? Stephanie O'Dea 6:07  No, no, I'll tell you my back story, but I got to tell you, my mom drives that way, and now my kids don't want to get in the car with her. They're like, I always feel sick when I drive with grandma so. Lesley Logan 6:17  Okay, so there's, I literally was looking at his leg. I'm like, is he doing this, or does he is it like the car is like, oh, there's a car that's too close. Like, I don't, could not figure out what's going on. Stephanie O'Dea 6:26  I think my mom is full acceleration, and then foot off, and then full acceleration, and then foot off. And there's a happy medium there. So what's interesting about my backstory is I got started writing online crock pot recipes, crock pot slow cooker recipes. Lesley Logan 6:42  Okay, I definitely was wondering if slow living meant, like, like, slow cooker. Stephanie O'Dea 6:46  Yeah, so, so, yeah. So, I'm very Google-able, but I got my start in 2008 because I made a New Year's resolution to follow through on using my crock pot slow cooker every day for a year and writing about it online. And it, it took off. It went viral. Lesley Logan 7:02  I've heard of you. You are Google-able.Stephanie O'Dea 7:07  Yeah. So, when (inaudible) funny, because 2008 depending on how old you are when you're listening, that could sound like a long time ago or not that long time ago, but at the time it legit, was the first crock pot recipe site written by like a normal person, and it went crazy. I made yogurt. I invented, like, quote-unquote, invented lots of things, and because of that, I ended up on national television multiple times. Good Morning America, Rachel Ray Show did all the magazines and got a book deal. It worked great. At its peak, it was making $1,000 a day just in banner ads, and it was amazing. So the good news is is I understand mathing and I understand the Internet, so I knew what goes up must eventually come down. And so that absolutely did in about 2016 with the Instant Pot. And so my book publishers and agent, they're like, you should translate all your recipes. So I bought one, and I hated the thing. I get it. The tech part is fun. Yay for the scientists for discovering that they can cook a frozen chicken in 45 minutes. But for me, what I liked about the crock pot is I could put it on the morning, I'm highly caffeinated and coherent, I push a button and then I never think about dinner again. So it eliminated a whole bunch of decision fatigue, and it just was lovely, because cooking is great, but I'm not going to get a Zen moment chopping an onion. I'm just not. Some people are, great, no, but for me, it's a chore. Lesley Logan 8:41  I see you. You are seen.Stephanie O'Dea 8:44  Yeah. So anyway, I got fired. I got fired, and I had this like, sort of voice of God, of like, hey Steph, just because you can do something fast, it doesn't mean you should. And so I spent some time away from the internet, I sort of unplugged everything for a while. And one really lovely, amazing thing about passive income is even when you're not working, it works for you. So I was in a very privileged state that I could kind of pontificate what the next best step for me to take was, and I realized that following through on my resolution, following through on all of the goals that I've always had for myself has been my secret sauce. Writing crock pot recipes was really just a way to feed the internet. And so that's how the slow living podcast got started, and how I started working with women from all over the world to help them meet their goals in a slow, steady and sustainable way.Lesley Logan 9:40  I'm obsessed with this because I think it's because here's what I love about this. I was like, Oh, I wonder if slow living means, like, slow cooker. And then I was, I don't even use my Instapot. Do you see how, like, I put the two together, even though they're not. Thank you for educating me. I clearly.Stephanie O'Dea 9:52  Gold stars, Lesley, gold stars. Lesley Logan 9:53  I am not the person who cooks in this household. I think that's pretty evident. I was just like, oh. And then I but I was reading all the stuff and I was like, oh, but, like, we're talking about goals, and I'm like, totally in on this, how this works. So, but I love that the intuitiveness was there, so that's really great. But the other reason I love this is that you are the perfect example of how you get started and what you have done in the past. That's not that it has to ever end, but also that you can evolve from it. And it doesn't have to be like the next pie over, which is the Instant Pot. It could be like all the way on the other side of the pie and be like something that's different, but they're not. They're the same. Stephanie O'Dea 10:27  No, absolutely I and it's funny. So I have three kids, and I'm constantly telling them like you are your own person, in your own entity. Sure, Dad and I might have ideas for you, but you get to decide. And every year, people get so excited about New Year's resolutions and different things and the idea that they can reinvent themselves, and then they have the first few dismissive thoughts of, well, I can't do that, or, Oh, this is too hard. And so then they give up. And the fact is, if we're lucky, life is long. Sure, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but don't live your life thinking that instead, where are you going to be in your 50s, your 60s and your 70s? I mean, I work with women of all ages and stages. If you want to crawl around on the floor in your 70s with your grandchildren and do yoga and have, I don't know, prize-winning tulips. Start now. Start setting the stage now, and plant those metaphoric seeds to get you from where you are to where you want to goLesley Logan 11:29  You are correct. As a Pilates instructor, one of the things that people like when should I get started? I'm like, well, yesterday was a better day, but that's fine, we'll start now. Because I've had people come to me at 70 going, I'm in aches and pains. I've got this thing, and now I've got a hump on my back, and I'm like, so the time to prevent the hump was like, 20 years ago. So there's not much I can do now that you're in that position, but here's what I can do to keep you upright so you can play with your grandchildren. And people don't realize, and they wait until they realize they weren't hit by a bus earlier, and then they're like, now it changes. And that's not that it's ever too late, but there's just some things that if we got started sooner and when we went more consistently, we went more slowly, we took our time handling the obstacles and the setbacks and reevaluating that we would actually get to where we wanted to go, I guess, faster.Stephanie O'Dea 12:15  So it's true. I mean, it's legit. The metaphor of the tortoise and the hare just slow, steady and stay on track. And so that's why I like that mindset, action, consistency formula is when you're in a good mood, don't make up rules for yourself when you're in a bad mood, because you're just punishing yourself. But when you're in a good mood, decide what the next steps are, and a lot of it is putting blinders on and not worrying about what other people are doing. So if you're listening to this right now and you're thinking, well, Lesley got to be in Singapore last week, and I'm wasn't in Singapore last week, and my life sucks. So okay, you are playing your own game. So again, because I am such an acronym junkie, I rewrote FOMO to figure only myself out you play your game, and if Singapore is not in your cards right now, okay, great, but maybe put it on a vision board and maybe start saving and start pivoting to have that come to fruition. But it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong if you never had the thought like six or eight months ago or a year ago when Lesley decided to go to Singapore, you weren't there yet. So if you're there now, okay, great, start pivoting and make that way. And same with the hump on your back. If you're like, oh, okay, I do want to be that person in my 70s. But actually really like my nightly wine, and I like doom scrolling, and I caught up on all of the seasons of younger and now I don't know what to do with myself. Okay, then, then go do some stretches and start working on it in a very slow, steady and sustainable way. Lesley Logan 13:55  You're absolutely correct. And I have a funny story about the Singapore thing. You guys, normally, when we fly to Cambodia for our retreat, we always choose the shortest. Doesn't everybody, when you want to go, you want to get to where you want to go when you're traveling. So it's like the shortest. Well, ever since the pandemic and the way the flight paths have changed, it has been twice as much to fly to Cambodia as it usually is, and it irritates me, because I know it's not that expensive. Double is not the right price. So my assistant presented like three options, and the two shortest options were $1,500 per person, round trip, 23 hours of travel, still a lot, still full day, exhausting. But then there was a flight that was 31 hours of travel. It was $500 cheaper per person, and it had a 13 hour layover in Singapore. And in Singapore, you can leave the airport. You can apply for the day visa. It's so easy to do. You do it online. And we were landing in time to go to dinner, and I was like, wouldn't it be cool to go to Singapore for dinner? And here's the thing you guys, it wasn't about saving $500 it was about enjoying the trip to Cambodia. Because I'm like, this is I don't I'm so tired of being tired when I get there. And so I thought, let's just see what it's like. Instead of having six hours, which is not enough time to leave an airport and just walk, do laps in the airport, what if we had 13 and we went to dinner and we slept in a hotel and then we got up and we flew the next place? You guys. I loved it. I loved it. I had two on the way into Cambodia. I did dinner in Singapore on the way out. We did dinner in Singapore. Fabulous. I felt like it was so luxurious. It felt so it felt so it felt like I was like a first class traveler. So anyways, that's my share on evaluating doing things a little differently. Your FOMO, like, figure my own self out. I'm tired when I get there. What? What can I do? So that's my little tip there. But I want to highlight that you said, make the decisions when you're in a good mood, because you're correct. People are punishing themselves when they're like, you don't feel good, you feel exhausted, you hate your job, and then you're like, I'm gonna do this. And it's like, it is a punishment. I never thought about it like that. Stephanie O'Dea 15:49  Yeah, no, it's true. I mean, and especially since you're in the fitness realm, the idea of, I'm gonna force myself to do this workout every day, no matter what, with the idea that if I skip a day because I'm sick or I don't feel well, or the toilet overflowed, or the kid had a bloody nose in the middle of the night, I failed. No, no. So I tell people all the time, if you're embarking on a 30-day challenge and it takes you 45 days to do the 30 days, you're not graded, you're not to be in trouble, you're the grown up in the room. You only fail when you completely and totally decide to give up. But but keep going and think of yourself at, again, as that 70 year old, you would be way more proud of yourself for keeping going, even if you have to take a day off here and there. And that's a big part of the sustainability, part of slow living. Lesley Logan 16:48  During the pandemic. I got really interested in, like, some people create habits, and how do they not I don't know if you've read Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies, like having meet expectations. So I thought, well, I'm an upholder. That's easy for me. But what about the rest of the people? As a fitness person who wants people to move, and I always tell people do what's possible. Finishing is optional. Why aren't they listening? Why can't they listen and what's going on? And I got to sit at BJ Fogg, and he talked about these tiny habits. And it's crazy to see how people legitimately cannot do the tiny habit. They actually are like, it's not enough to just put my shoes on. It's like, but you don't go to the gym now. So you're asking yourself to put out the gym clothes early. Pack a gym bag, get everything on, drive to the gym, find a parking space, enter the gym, put the bag in a locker, do the work of oh, you forgot your towel, so now you're gonna be late for work. Otherwise, now you have to leave early, and it's just all we're asking ourselves to do such huge leaps and bounds before we've actually created the ability to do that consistently, and then we fail ourselves. And it's like even when you went to school, you didn't get the F until the end of this the whole semester to get a better grade.Stephanie O'Dea 17:57  Yeah, no, it's true. I mean, when people come to me with those kind of obstacles. First off, I definitely have squirrel brain. I have lots and lots and lots of markers of ADHD. And every time I talk to anyone, because I can talk myself well, I write and I speak so I know how to talk to people. And they're like, you don't have ADHD. I'm like, that's fine. Just, just help me, but, but the only reason I found out is I've got one in grad school, and so she's applying for law school, and so needing to sit for the LSATs and that kind of stuff. All of these things came up. I'm like, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just like me. And I'm like, oh, wait.Lesley Logan 18:33  Right, right. Stephanie O'Dea 18:34  But anyway, as far as that, when I'm working with people who can't break things down in a bite-sized chunk, and they get overwhelmed. Or halfway through the assignment, they're already moved on to something else. We gamify the system. And so earlier, when I gave you gold stars, I legit hand out gold stars if you did something, give yourself a sticker, like, like those old school chore charts on the wall where you're giving yourself a happy face absolutely pay off and then reward yourself. Maybe not if you're trying to do a fitness routine, maybe not with like a hot fudge sundae, but maybe with a pedicure, or maybe with an afternoon off work for no reason except for you want to take a really cozy Bougie nap, and you you have your your weighted throw, and then you're just so happy. That is a reward, and that's something that you can look forward to, but definitely game the system. Lesley Logan 19:33  Yeah, I love gamify. I love a reward, or like something tactical that you can do, like some sort of celebration. But I also want to highlight hi, I also was someone who didn't think that ADHD, and I was like, oh, my husband, my husband has ADHD, right? Because that's where all the symptoms. And he, like, is legit, like, model of a male with ADHD. And we were applying for a business license, type of a thing, like some sort of certificate, and the woman who files the paperwork, I met her, and so we're talking, and she like, okay, you have your women in business certification I'm like, yeah, we've got that. She's like, okay, where's your disability certificate? And I'm like, I'm so sorry I don't have a disability. And she goes, Well, you have ADHD. And I was like, oh, my husband does, but I own the business for the women in business owners, so I don't have she's like, no. She's like, you just haven't been tested girl. You have ADHD. I can see all of it. And I started looking up women signs of ADHD. I absolutely have it, so I'm with you, and we forget how we figured out how we can make our lives work. And so I just want to highlight to anyone listening, if you have ADHD, and that's a reason why it's a problem for you to, like, finish the thing you've started. There is a superpower that you can tap into once you acknowledge it and like you look into how can you work best for yourself? And it's, it is not through punishment ever. Stephanie O'Dea 20:47  Yeah, no, it's, it's celebrating your process. So because I'm a writer, this is the 11th book I've written, I know my process, so I no longer beat myself up. I know for a fact I don't miss deadlines, so that's great news for me, but I also know that I'm not linear. I am up and down and all around and if I have a brainstorm at 3am it's better for me to get up and write any of those how to be a successful published author checklists that they show on the internet for clickbait. That's not me, and that's not really any of us. That's marketing hype that's trying to get you to click. If you've been online long enough I'm certain you have clicked on something only because you were feeling a little anxious, maybe a little vulnerable, and you're like, oh, the answers to my prayer. But the fact is, the answers are inside and with you. And it's not going to come from doom scrolling TikTok. It's going to come when you're calm and you're in a good mood and you're like, okay, I am not feeling the best right now. Not going to gaslight myself. I legit do not feel good in my brain and my body right now. What is the next best step for me to take and then going quiet and then doing what it is, chances are your brain is going to say you need more water, you need to cut back on wine. You need to stay away from Jane down the street, because she makes you feel really shitty. Can I say shitty? Sorry.Lesley Logan 22:19  No, I love it. We love it. And, yeah, stay away from Jane. Stephanie O'Dea 22:23  Yeah, no, just like you, you know, you know. And I get it because, I mean, I met Lesley online. We're all trying to carve our own little niche out. But the thing is, is you're more vulnerable and you're more susceptible to following advice made up by, by stupid businessy. I'm gonna say men, just for lack of a better term, bro marketers, when you're feeling down on yourself. Lesley Logan 22:50  Yeah, it's really interesting, because I, just before I came on this I had a YouTube comment, and it was on a video that was like the best Reformers to buy for home, and I, look, I hate the title because it's that clickbaity title, but I promised myself, okay, I have to do the titles that they want, because these are the things that people will click on. But I can be honest, right? And so I was completely honest about how I don't love the Reformers that are $300 because I know that a quality Reformer costs $4,800 why do they cost $4,800 because they're not made of plastic, because they're made of metal, they're made of wood. It takes, it takes a long time to make them. And they last decades, right? They last decades. And these cheaper ones, while they look very similar to the ones you're seeing in studios, I don't know what the weight requirements are. I don't know if you can stand on them and they have, I don't know that they have the same safety mechanism. So then you're going to take my classes or someone else's classes, and, like, I don't know. So I was very clear of like, here's what I would say. So it ended with, there is not an affordable one. Like, it just isn't. But here are all the things you can do. So this person wrote, okay, so great, so just don't give me a cheaper option so that I could modify the exercises to do the thing. And she was on and on, and she was so angry with me that I wouldn't give her a cheap one to buy. So I actually wrote back right away, because I was like, so you need a car. You need a car that can get you to work, and the car that would be the best gas mileage for you, that would not require any maintenance, it actually has the best safety standards. It's outside of your budget right now. So instead, you would like me to sell you a car that gets the worst gas mileage, that needs maintenance every week, that breaks down on you on your way to work. And so instead of actually getting to work on time, you're now taking the bus anyways, when you could have just waited and taken the bus in the first place until you could afford the car that has the best gas all these things. I'm so sorry I refuse to sell you crap, and I know that's frustrating, but no, I don't want you modifying exercises to make the equipment, because then you're not gonna get the benefits. It just makes me think of this stuff like people. Have gotten to this place that now have gotten so they've now been trained so much by the clickbait they want to be sold the quick, fast thing, but that's not gonna get what you want. So I'm not gonna sell it to you. And it's really, really hard because I you and I are people like we want to be honest with people on the internet. I want a relationship with you whenever I tell you that this is the right thing, that you can trust that it's the right thing. And it's really hard in a world everyone's go so fast they want the thing today, and they'll rather buy the cheap thing than the thing that will get them there. How do you get people out of wanting it quickly? I guess we can help people who don't want to be helped. Stephanie O'Dea 25:35  Yeah. So, so we're recording right now, and I know you are captivating the the video. So this is a standard bedroom that happens to have cabinetry filled filled with crock pots, by the way. But on the other side of the room, I have a framed print, and it says, discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most. And that's the thing. Slow your roll, peeps, slow your roll and have a little bit of discipline. We teach children that patience is a virtue. Practice that be that there's a reason why Buddhist monks and people who meditate a lot and do lots of yoga and meditation are calmer is because they have quieted their squirrel brain, and they have delayed gratification enough to know that while sitting in a meditative stance for 10, 20, 30 minutes isn't as quick as a fix as I don't know, taking some drug or down and a half bottle of Wine, but the end goal, if you do it over and over and over again, is so much better. So I'm going to repeat it. Discipline is choosing between what you want now versus what you want most, and keep that most in your mind when you are scrolling, so then you can have that thought of great for them, not for me, right? Great for them, good everyone's everyone is allowed to make money. Everyone's allowed to make money. Great for them. Good for them. They're, they're gaming the algorithm. Good for them, good for them, good for them, not for me. And then now, now I'm going to coach you for a second, Lesley, because I think you're adorbs. I too, get the click bait thing. I know how to play the game. I know when I was writing recipes that it would be way better for me to say this is the world's easiest and best pot roast recipe you'll ever have, better than your grandma blah blah blah. And the fact is pot roast is pot roast, is pot roast, is pot roast. And if you put in paprika versus liquid smoke or blah blah blah, it doesn't really truly matter in the great, big, huge scheme of things. But the hope is you get someone to click, and then that someone gets to know you and see your video and read your writing and connect with you and say, Okay, I get what Lesley is doing here. It's fine. I'm going to cut her some slack. And that's another great, big thing that I would love for us to do online is to remember that there are real humans there, and give people the gift of grace. And sometimes we mess up. I messed up, and the hope is that when I do, I apologize and I acknowledge it, and then I try and better myself. If I don't try and better myself, that's where the problem is, and that's where the disconnect is, and that's not you. You are amazing. Lesley Logan 28:26  Yeah. Well, thank you, and thank you for seeing me, and it is so interesting world out there that we live in. I like to think that everyone's doing it the best way that they can when they know how, you know, I would give that grace, and I think that the more of us who could do that would be the world be a better place. But I think that, you know, we have to just keep doing it. And I agree, like, when we all make mistakes and it's like you get to apologize, and if people can't accept that, it's almost better that they we find out now so they can go away.Stephanie O'Dea 28:53  Totally. It's funny. I'm intolerant now to people who can't own mistakes and apologize and so so again, back to my crazy ego. My crazy acronyms. The acronym for ego is Edging God Out. And regardless of your religious belief, the idea that you are the Almighty and know everything and aren't humble and don't have enough humility to acknowledge a mistake is a big problem. So so check your ego. Just check it, because everybody's shit stinks. They really do.Lesley Logan 29:26  I'm obsessed with you already. You mentioned stopping the scroll a few times, and I think that that is definitely a hard problem for a lot of people, like even people who don't even have to post on the internet for a job. My mom does not have to post on the internet at all, and she but she has a scrolling problem, right? And I even, because I have to open up and talk to the people and respond to comments and all that stuff, I found myself yesterday picking up my phone after the end of the workday to go check and I was like, hold on, I'm not working right now. And I had to, like, literally, put my phone across the room and pick up a book instead. And I was like, what would make reading this book more pleasurable? I liked it all the things, you know, heard different guests say, oh, I'll make it more pleasurable if I was sitting in front my red light. Okay, I'll sit from my red light. I'm gonna do this thing. And I read a book for like, 45 minutes. It was so lovely. It felt so good. I went to bed. I slept so good last night because I did not scroll. But I think it's an addiction that people have to just pick up when they're bored. So how do you stop your scroll? Stephanie O'Dea 30:22  Yeah, so, so first off, you are definitely not alone, and I've been working online for probably a lot longer than you are, because I'm probably a lot older than you are. So one thing I needed to do for myself, and this is only for people who work online, probably is it's not on my phone. My phone is for phone stuff, and work stays work stays on the computer. So and for me, social media is work. It's not pleasurable. It's not fun. In real life, I want to talk to my friends on the phone, text with my friends in real life. So there's that. And then as far as normal, regular, everyday people who have the old school FOMO, and think that they will miss out on staff, schedule it in, time block it. So I'm a huge proponent of time blocking, and the way I teach it is to decide, on purpose that your day is kind of set up like a school day. So think back in high school you are not going to finish your history book in first period. You're just not but the good news is, you'll have first period every day, so schedule in what it is you want to do every day, so you don't have that feeling of having to catch up, because spoiler alert, you will never catch up on social media, they have designed it to be never, ever, ever ending. But if your allotted amount of time, and my suggestion, would be in 10-minute chunks. 10 minutes, set a timer. Love bossing Siri around. She will just set timers for me all day long, and then scroll, do what it is you need to do, and then step away with the idea that it's going to be okay, because you're going to revisit this time block again tomorrow, and it's fine. Lesley Logan 32:01  Oh my gosh. Stephanie O'Dea, I just, I love you, and I love that. I love that permission. Like, it's not like, don't do it. Or it's not like, only you get five minutes a day. It's like, oh, just schedule a few 10-minute blocks. And it's true. You guys walk around this house at any moment. Brad is like, Siri, set a timer for seven minutes, Siri, remind me to do this tomorrow like. Stephanie O'Dea 32:24  I love Siri. I So, so first off, I love the idea of a live-in personal helper. So the fact is that she's in my back pocket all the time is amazing and and I'm very nice to her in case the robots do take over the world. I thank her. Yeah, tell her she's pretty Yeah, just in case you never know. Lesley Logan 32:41  You are better than I. Brad was talking to my Siri the other day, and he was connected to my phone, and he was like, hey Siri, and he's like, she started answering like I told her to fuck off the other day, and she's not come back. So I think that's my fault. You know, when, like, she wasn't understanding me, she kept talking when I wasn't winder and I was just like, fuck off, and she never came back. So I, I don't know. I don't know. Stephanie O'Dea 33:06  Okay, so does that mean you have to, like, go back in the settings and actually turn her back on?Lesley Logan 33:09  I think so. I think that's where we're at. There's an update that's gonna happen tonight. I'm hoping she goes back. At any rate.Stephanie O'Dea 33:18  If she's listening to me right now. I love you, Siri. I'm like, thank you. You're fine.Lesley Logan 33:23  They are and you are correct. I need to be nicer, because the robots are going to take over, and hopefully they just give us permission to keep doing what we love. All right. I could talk to you for hours, but we're gonna take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you and work with you. Lesley Logan 33:38  All right, Stephanie O'Dea, where do you hang out? Where can people just become a more obsessed with you?Stephanie O'Dea 33:44  So I'm a real person. You can email me at any time, and I will write back to you, steph@stephanieodea.com, that's the main site is stephanieodea.com. I do have a slow living podcast, and the new book is called Slow Living: Cultivating a Life of Purpose in a Hustle-Driven World, and that's wherever books are sold. Lesley Logan 34:02  Oh my God, I'm gonna read it. I'm so excited. I feel like, so blessed that we all got to talk like, even think about this and your acronyms are amazing. They're, I mean, you know that already, but they are amazing. And I know several listeners who, because I, I'm lucky enough to get to meet our listeners all the time, and they mention different episode numbers and like, I know this is one that they're going to use, because there's such tangible things that they can do to just take time to listen their body and do what's next? What's the best next thing? You've given us a lot, but you know, we love the the Be It Action Items, the bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted, steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us? Stephanie O'Dea 34:40  So it's interesting. Before we hit record you were talking about, don't tell people to journal unless you like, tell them how to journal. So I have a guided daily journaling worksheet, and you can download it. It's super, super free, stephanieodea.com/daily D- A-I-L-Y and and people write to me and they're like. I don't do anything else except for this worksheet, and what it does is it helps, again, get you in the right mindset, because it's putting you in a good mood because you're journaling, and then it's helping you move forward on all of your personal and professional goals. So the action steps and then doing it every day, using that muscle creates the consistency that you need for success. Lesley Logan 35:19  So the reason I say I tell guests like, please don't tell them to not journal, because some people say just journal every day. And then I get what do I journal? The reason I know that this is true is because my therapist had told me back in 2020 when I started therapy, I was like, think this is going to be a really long time that we're doing this, so I think I'm going to need to do some therapy. And she said, okay, I want you to journal every day. So the next week I got on, I was like, so what was I supposed to put in the journal? How do I start? Is it a letter? Because I'm an overthinker and a recovering perfectionist, and so I love that you are like, here is a simple worksheet that you can do to journal, because it gives people an idea of how to make the journal work for them. Because I do believe that journaling works. You just, if you don't know what you're doing, it can feel overwhelming.Stephanie O'Dea 36:00  Absolutely and what I like about this worksheet, and it's, it's a printable, guys, so people have tried to put it in a Google form, and that kind of stuff, your brain is different when you're using a pen and paper. And so that's why there's definitely a method to the madness. And I want you to slow down like, hello, spoiler alert, I legit, I want you to slow down. And then also you're collecting data, so you then you can look back and on the worksheet, I ask you what day or cycle you're in, because that's a big deal. So if you're like, how come I walked it last Wednesday? Well maybe it's because you were on day 15, and now you're on day 28 and you hate the world that is important, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, because you are not a spreadsheet, and anyone who says anything, and usually they're bro marketers that you have to like improve yourself by 1% every day, or you're doing it wrong. No, no, because humans have ups and downs and all around and if I can give you any parting words of wisdom, it would be that I just want to hug you and tell you that you're doing a great job and there's nothing wrong with you, and you absolutely can get to where you want to go, but you have to trust in yourself that that you can do the things and then just you'll get there when you get there. Lesley Logan 37:20  I mean, I already thought this is going to be an episode that people would hit save on but, and like, replay just to re listen. But I really think they'll just do that, just for that last part right there, like you're doing a great job. Like we all need Stephanie O'Dea to tell us you're doing a great job. I love that your journal has people put the day of the cycle. Because, yes, we've been talking about that a lot, because that affects how you work out all the different things. And it is true, you are going to have days where you can take over the world, and days where you're like, I just if someone talks to me at all, I'm going to lose my mind.Stephanie O'Dea 37:49  Yeah, yeah. No, it's true. So I've been married 25 years, and sometimes, thankfully, I can just tell Adam. So today's not a day for you to actually engage with me. He's like, oh, okay. Thanks, thanks for the warning. You're breathing wrong today. Sorry. You fix that and circle back around.Lesley Logan 38:11  Yeah, I said to Brad, I said, I don't feel awesome today. He goes, it's the day before your period. You're not going to feel awesome. And I was like, thank you. That's right. That's why I married you. He didn't go, of course, you're awesome. He just was like, You're not just not gonna feel it. And it's like, yeah, thank you. Ah, okay, well, clearly I want to keep talking to you, but we'll do that another day. Stephanie O'Dea, thank you so much for being here, you guys. How are you using these tips in your life? Please, tag Stephanie. Tag the Be It Pod. Tell us how you're slow living. Share this with a friend who needs it. Imagine if all of your friends were like acting in the FOMO in the best way, and they were actually listening to themselves and taking some time. Imagine how much easier that would make your life. So share this with the friends in your life who need them. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 39:02  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 39:44  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 39:49  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 39:54  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 40:01  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 40:04  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Episode Summary: We're officially halfway through the year, and today's episode is your invitation to pause, check in, and realign. If you're feeling like you've drifted from your intentions around alcohol—or life in general—this isn't about judgment. It's about awareness. Molly introduces a powerful, science-informed tool called the PEACE Self-Audit to guide your mid-year reflection and help you gently reassess where you are and where you want to go.This episode ties back to a recent Think Thursday episode on values alignment and burnout, highlighting how the gap between our professed and practiced values can impact our emotional and physical well-being. Through five thoughtful prompts—Progress, Emotions, Alignment, Consistency, and Expectations—you'll reconnect with your goals and reclaim your power to move forward with peace.What You'll Learn:Why the midpoint of the year is a psychologically powerful time to reflectThe meaning of cognitive dissonance and how it shows up in our habitsHow to use emotions as data instead of judgmentWhy values alignment is essential for lasting change (including a callback to a Think Thursday episode)How habit science supports small, consistent actions over big overhaulsThe difference between expectations rooted in growth vs. shameReferenced Framework: PEACE Self-AuditP – Progress: Recognizing small wins and the “Progress Principle” (Dr. Teresa Amabile)E – Emotions: Understanding emotional states as behavior signals (Dr. Marc Brackett, Yale)A – Alignment: Exploring congruence between values and behavior (Self-Determination Theory)C – Consistency: Anchoring change in repetition, not perfection (Dr. BJ Fogg, Charles Duhigg)E – Expectations: Shifting mindset around what success looks like (Dr. Carol Dweck)Mentioned In This Episode:Download the PEACE Self-Audit PDFThink Thursday episode: “Why Burnout Lives in the Gap Between Your Professed & Practiced Values”Sunnyside App – Start your 15-day free trialResources for Continued Support:Making Peace with Alcohol Group CoachingIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone you love. And remember: peace is the goal—not perfection.Low risk drinking guidelines from the NIAAA:Healthy men under 65:No more than 4 drinks in one day and no more than 14 drinks per week.Healthy women (all ages) and healthy men 65 and older:No more than 3 drinks in one day and no more than 7 drinks per week.One drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor. So remember that a mixed drink or full glass of wine are probably more than one drink.Abstinence from alcoholAbstinence from alcohol is the best choice for people who take medication(s) that interact with alcohol, have health conditions that could be exacerbated by alcohol (e.g. liver disease), are pregnant or may become pregnant or have had a problem with alcohol or another substance in the past.Benefits of “low-risk” drinkingFollowing these guidelines reduces the risk of health problems such as cancer, liver disease, reduced immunity, ulcers, sleep problems, complications of existing conditions, and more. It also reduces the risk of depression, social problems, and difficulties at school or work. ★ Support this podcast ★

What happens when growth isn't driven by hustle, but by intention? Lesley and Brad unpack Launa Jae's take on emotional self-awareness, authentic evolution, and what it means to truly live in alignment. Tune in for a refreshing take on messy action, redefining success, and practicing what you preach. This recap reminds you that progress can be sustainable when it comes from self-trust.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How to use presence as a tool—not a luxury—for creating peace and focus.What your negative emotions are really telling you about your priorities.The hidden cost of urgency culture and constant productivity.How small cues in your environment can help you course-correct.Why limiting distractions supports peace, clarity, and intention.Episode References/Links:OPC Summer Tour - https://opc.me/eventsUK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/ukeLevate Workout and Q&A - https://lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlistAgency Mini - https://prfit.biz/miniCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comContrology Chair - https://beitpod.com/contrologychairSubmit Your Questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsLauna Jae Website: https://beitpod.com/activelifesportsLauna Jae Instagram - https://instagram.com/launajae_Ep. 53: Launa Jae - https://beitpod.com/launajae If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/ Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/ Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  We're all human. You can't change everything about yourself all at one time. You have to pick and choose and go, okay, well, what can I do here? Like, if you look at BJ Fogg, if he's like, I'm frustrated because I'm working on this project and I'm not sleeping enough, so I want to sleep better. He actually was like, okay, how, what are all the different ways I could sleep better? Well, he's not going to do all of those things. He, actually, to make a habit, had to go what are the three easiest things of what I just came up with that I want to do, and then how can I do that? Lesley Logan 0:26  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 1:09  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the hilariously intentional convo I had with Launa Jae in our last episode. If you haven't listened to that one you've missed the fuck out.Brad Crowell 1:21  You totally missed out. Lesley Logan 1:22  It's so good. I mean, we're two good friends, so that's always a fun conversation to be in. But also, she just has the most hilarious way of putting things in a way that just makes you stop and take it all in. And we are just obsessed with her. So anyway, Brad Crowell 1:36  Yes, 100%.Lesley Logan 1:37  If you're not following her on Instagram, you are missing out, because her stories are my favorite. Every morning, to this day, she still does good morning to everyone except and it's something, and then there's other people who also do this and tag her, and so she reposts theirs. And then I just die laughing. So anyways, you gotta go follow her. Gotta go follow her. I promise you, it's really great. And she gives great tips and great hacks on gaining protein in your life, because all, y'all ladies over 40, it's a fucking feat to get enough protein every day. Brad Crowell 2:04  And if you're watching YouTube, I'm wearing a shirt you referenced. Lesley Logan 2:08  Oh, that's so funny. What a great timing.  Brad Crowell 2:11  Yeah, punch nails, I'm sorry, paint nails, punch Nazis. Lesley Logan 2:14  We should have that guy on the pod. Brad Crowell 2:16  We should have that guy on the pod.Lesley Logan 2:17  Yeah, we should send him.Brad Crowell 2:19  We'll work that out.Lesley Logan 2:20  His name, I think, is Jonathan Gregory or Gregory Jonathan, it's one of those handles that I'm like, he must have gotten famous after he made this weird handle. So, yeah, I gotta get him on. Okay, let's get back to, (inaudible) first we're going to talk about how today is June 5th, my dad's birthday.Brad Crowell 2:35  Oh, it is your dad's birthday.Lesley Logan 2:38  Brad. He's like, oh my God, all these days. It's like, this person's from the reality TV show day. I'm like, how does that person have a day and I don't have a day?Brad Crowell 2:45  It was Veggie Burger Day, and at the same exact day, Sausage Roll Day. I was like, did they do that on purpose? I think they did.Lesley Logan 2:52  I think Launa Jae would agree that you could have a veggie burger or a sausage roll. If you are doing your protein, right, you can. But today is Happy Birthday, Dad. You are 73. Way to go. But it's also World Environment Day. This day urges all of us to protect our natural surroundings. The stunning facts, an estimated 7 million people die each year from causes related to air pollution, with a majority occurring in the Asian Pacific region. This day encourages worldwide activism that means everything from littering to climate change. World Environment Day is both a global celebration and a platform for public outreach. You guys, plant plants that are local to your freaking place. That is one of the best things you can do. You know, it's really great, because in the water, we live in Vegas, we are increasingly aware of our water, what plants we have. On windy days, you got to go out there and pick up the trash, like, take care of the world around you. It's really hard when you think about, like, oh my God, the global warming. I can't, we can't fix everything, so you got to at least get your neighbors on board. How much water are you using? How much are you planting? How much trash are we throwing away, you know.Brad Crowell 3:54  Yeah, get rid of your grass in your front yard, you don't need it. Lesley Logan 3:56  Yeah, get rid of it. Also. It doesn't even absorb water. There was a whole episode on the Love It or Lose It odcast years ago about how actual grass is not trapping water. So that was news to me.Brad Crowell 4:09  Yeah, you know, Lesley Logan 4:10  Educate yourself on little things you can do.Brad Crowell 4:12  Well, it's a hill that the city of Vegas is dying on. They enacted a law that says you have to, by 2026, I think all front yards have to be non-grass.Lesley Logan 4:22  Yeah, we got a neighbor, you guys, their grass is so green all year long. And it is infuriating to me. It's infuriating to me. First of all, when I walk the dog in the morning, though the sidewalk is soaking wet because of how they water, and how they water is why their grass is so green. And it's not like a little yard. It's like a full on eighth of an acre of grass. It's perfectly green.Brad Crowell 4:42  I know exactly which house you mean. Lesley Logan 4:43  Yeah, oh, yeah. And because they water so much, there's something wrong with their sidewalk, it's literally slippery. You can literally slip while walking. And I'm just like, I can't wait till this grass is gone. I'm going to report you. January 1st 2026, first day I see that grass. My neighbor has grass.Brad Crowell 4:59  I don't know if it's Jan. 21 or Jan. 1st, but, yeah.Lesley Logan 5:00  I'm gonna be that Karen. That's the Karen I'm gonna be. Brad Crowell 5:05  That's the Karen (inaudible). Lesley Logan 5:06  If you got fucking front yard grass, I'm coming. Anyways, these are the things we can do and educate yourself on your water usage, but also, just like what you can do in your environment, you know, we all can't drive electric cars. All that, it's not, don't worry about the things you can't do, focus on the things you can. And it actually feels really great. Okay, oh, we have events. You guys, we're going on tour. Brad Crowell 5:27  Yeah, we got a lot going on. Lesley Logan 5:28  You'll hear more about that soon, but the tickets are already for sale, they've been on sale for a couple weeks. And it's a huge Summer Tour. It's not a small Summer Tour, it's a huge Summer Tour. But the spaces are limited, because when you go to cities on the West Coast, what you will learn, like some places in the northeast, is that rent is hard and expensive, and so spaces are small, which means space is limited. So you want to get in on this tour and snag your spots and the classes and workshops before they sell out, opc.me/events.Brad Crowell 5:55  opc.me/events Lesley Logan 5:56  Also, I really think our tour shirt is epic.Brad Crowell 5:59  It's a really cool tour shirt. I'm very excited about this.  Lesley Logan 6:02  This is my new favorite thing. I look up tour shirts from other things, and then I tell the team do this. And I don't think anyone notices what I'm doing, but I know what I'm doing. And then in September, you guys, we're going to be in the U.K. Leeds only has a few spots left. Essex, we actually opened up the opportunity to do day spot. So you can either do the full day Tuesday, the full day Wednesday, you want to go to opc.me/uk and again, also, not very many spots. So if you do the full weekend pass, or two day pass, you get six workshops, two classes. But if you do the day pass, you get three workshops and a class. So you want to snag those spots. We're not coming back for quite a bit, not because we don't like you, just. Brad Crowell 6:43  Don't know when. Do not know when. . Lesley Logan 6:45  Don't know when. That's how the world goes.   Brad Crowell 6:46  Last time we waited two years. Lesley Logan 6:49  Yeah. Also, before summer tour and U.K., I'm hosting a workout and a Q&A session for teachers, this is for Pilates teachers who are interested in my mentorship program. We are more than half sold out at the time that we are recording this. In fact, like, not, there's actually not a lot of spots in next year, but we're going to.  Brad Crowell 7:06  Yeah, there's literally, there's less than nine spots left.Lesley Logan 7:09  Yeah, so less than nine spots. And we're gonna have.Brad Crowell 7:11  I say that because I'm talking to a handful of people, and there are currently nine, and I think they're going to be booked, so. Lesley Logan 7:17  Yeah. Yeah. So here's the deal, go to lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlist to get on the waitlist to get the information about the free class and the Q&A session. If you are someone who wants to take the class and ask questions, that's gonna be great. If you're someone who's like, I want in on this. I don't want to wait. Well, you know how to hunt us down, because that's clearly how it's filling up behind closed doors. But lesleylogan.co/elevatewaitlist this is for comprehensively trained teachers who want to not freaking talk so much, be in imposter syndrome, over work themselves out, all the things, yeah, come and join us. Okay, Brad, your turn. Brad Crowell 7:53  All right. So I'm very excited to make this special announcement. We have decided to bring back Agency Mini.Lesley Logan 8:01  I know you guys, this is really exciting. We said, no, it's done, and it was, and it, actually, the Agency, Mini, you know, and was very loved.Brad Crowell 8:09  It's still done. Lesley Logan 8:09  It's still done. This is a, this is a new Mini, new and improved. Brad Crowell 8:13  This is a mini Mini. Lesley Logan 8:14  It's like, it's a, it is a mini mini. An M-I-N-I M-I-N-I mini Mini. And that is because we took all the, all the things people loved about Mini, and got rid of all the things people didn't love about Mini. So no more Facebook groups, no more seven days. No more overwhelm. This is a three-day Mini. You're gonna get a workshop on day one. You have homework on day two. You will have a office, a group call on day three, there's like couple extra days of replays you'll have some access to, and that's it, and it's (claps) awesome, quick.Brad Crowell 8:47  Easy and effective and really exciting. What we're going to be digging into is some of the foundational marketing things that you need to know on how to attract your own clients. Like, how do I attract the right clients for me, clients that actually want to work with, clients who pay me without complaining, clients who show up on time. How do I do all of that? Right? And we're going to dig in. I cannot wait. This is one of the, one of the favorite topics that Lesley and I have spoken on over the years.Lesley Logan 9:13  And if, even if you're like, oh, I slay at my marketing, if you don't actually help the clients you want to be teaching, or people who treat you or making the money you want to make, you need to be at this Mini, because we're going to actually fill in the holes. We're like, oh, I didn't do that. Oh, that's the thing. It's going to be amazing.Brad Crowell 9:28  Yeah. So by the time this comes out, I think we're still on the waitlist, believe it or not. So it'll be.Lesley Logan 9:34  The early bird will be opening, like, in the next week or two, so you probably want to go to prfit.biz/mini, to get on the waitlist, and or if it's open, you'll see how to buy in right there. It's going to be in July, the middle of July, before we take off on tour, and it's going.Brad Crowell 9:47  Early bird is 25 bucks. So don't miss it.   Lesley Logan 9:50  Yeah. Don't miss it, because we don't want you to actually pay the full price. That's why we have the early bird. We want you to plan ahead.Brad Crowell 9:54  60% off. Lesley Logan 9:55  Yeah, I love how we did this out of calendar order today. But you know what? It keeps you on your toes.Brad Crowell 10:01  What? Lesley Logan 10:02  Well, we started with the tour, which is after Mini.Brad Crowell 10:04  Oh yeah 100%. We did. Lesley Logan 10:06  Anyways. But for sure, at the end of this year is Cambodia in October. You guys, if this is your first time hearing about this, and you've never heard about how amazing our retreat in Siem Reap is, it's amazing. If you have heard us every single week, you know it's amazing. And if you're like I really want to do this, come, come, come, come. I know everything is crazy and uncertain. Let me just tell you right now, the flight prices to Asia are the same, whether you buy them today or six weeks before. Why? Because people have done that. Want you to go to crowsnestretreats.com to snag your spot because the small group, we're taking a very, very small group this October, we want you there, and it's going to be such a great time to just get rid of all the chaos and be in the coolest place in the whole world. Brad Crowell 10:45  It's so true and it's so cool.  Lesley Logan 10:46  We've been to a lot of places. Brad Crowell 10:47  If you want to deep dive on that, go back a couple weeks and there's some solo episodes from Lesley and from me about our love for why we do this trip, all the things. So dig in on that. All right. Well, before we get any further, we had an audience question. So @emilyanahata from YouTube asks, hey, how do I know which chair is the right for me? And I'm assuming she's talking about a Pilates chair. What are some questions I can ask myself to get a better idea? Thank you. And I am going to jump in. I'm just going to say, traditionally, you want a chair that has four legs, right? And then maybe a seat. That'll be good. That's the kind of chair you want. Those are great questions. Doesn't have four. You might be able to get away with three, but I don't think two is going to cut it.Lesley Logan 11:30  No, yeah, the three, that's more like a stool.   Brad Crowell 11:34  That's a stool. Lesley Logan 11:34  Yeah. Okay, so this is really great. And actually, she followed up with some really interesting questions, which is, like, she's heard that, like, should she get a Split Pedal EXO Chair? She did this. And so I actually followed up with like, are you a teacher? So here's the deal, what I know is, I'm gonna answer this in two ways. If you're a teacher, then you actually should get the Chair that best suits your style of teaching. And what I often see teachers do is they get a Chair that they can afford versus a Chair that was designed for their self-teaching. If, so Emily's not a teacher, so the Split Pedal, if you were trained to teach on Split Pedals, if you like to teach on Split Pedals, then get a Chair with Split Pedals, because you'll be annoyed that the pedal doesn't split, it doesn't do what you want. But if you are not trained on a Split Pedal, then the Split Pedal is actually going to be frustrating, because it's going to feel different, sound different than what you're used to. And Emily's not a teacher, so then it's just going to be confusing, and then she won't use a Chair without having been trained on how to use the Chair. And I want people who love Pilates to have access at home to equipment that they want and they can use, and it's not confusing. So this is not a knock against Split Pedals EXO Chairs. Obviously, we know and love Balanced Body. We are, we have affiliate links with them. We are dear, dear friends with the founders, and we are sponsored for the tour. So get that if you want to use it, but if you are just like, I want to get stronger. I want to work on my posture. I want to work on my strength. My suggestion is going to be the Contrology Chair because without seeing you, Emily, the dimensions are great for every body, no matter if you're big or small, hyper mobile, tall or short, the pedal angle is just really great.Brad Crowell 13:11  It's also very solid. Lesley Logan 13:12  It's really solid. Brad Crowell 13:13  You're not gonna have to worry about it, like, you know.Lesley Logan 13:15  And it's super, it's not confusing. You don't have four springs to choose from. Like, I find that if you are not trained as a teacher on that equipment, it becomes confusing. If there's lots of spring choices, it's two springs, three hooks on either side. Really easy to figure out what you need to be doing. But for anyone listening, having a chair that's right for you, the easiest answer is like, I just love a Contrology, I love a Contrology Chair. You can stand on it. I could put a heavy person on it, I could put a tall person on it. It's gonna be great. Put a short person on it.Brad Crowell 13:40  I did a handstand on one.Lesley Logan 13:42  Yeah, you totally did it, and it was fine. But questions to ask yourself are, is the pedal angle gonna be appropriate for the height and flexibility of my hips? Right? Is the top of the chair big enough to support my full seat? Can I lay on it on my front? Can I lay it on my back? Does the Chair feel sturdy if I stand on top, if I go to step on top of it does it feel like it's sturdy? Some of these Chairs are really light. I've seen some interesting ones now that are floating around that are a few 100 bucks. I worry about the weight of the body. I'm not talking a larger body. I'm talking like just any body. So some questions to ask yourself, are like, can it withstand the weight of my body standing on it, and then can I adjust the springs tension so that it meets me where I am, or is it like kind of the same spring tension, whether you use like, if you only have one or two? So anyways, those are some things to ask yourself, but always happy to give you my links, you guys, to anything that Balanced Body makes, and that's our Contrology line as well. Brad Crowell 14:37  Yeah, awesome, well. Lesley Logan 14:39  I just want to say I love that she's gonna get herself a Chair, because everyone's so fucking obsessed with having a home reformer. And then they're like, I need it to fit under my bed. And it's like, uh, no, if you have a small space, get a Wunda Chair, get a Spine Corrector, get a Two by Four, get a Sand bag, get a Ped-o-Pull. So many things you can get yourself, and then you could go take a Reformer at a studio, right? Okay. Brad Crowell 14:58  I dig it. Well, look. Stick around. We'll be right back. Lesley Logan 15:01  Oh, Brad, hold on. Brad Crowell 15:02  What? Lesley Logan 15:02  You guys, we have a link for you guys to submit your questions, because some of you have been like, how do I submit my question?  Brad Crowell 15:08  Yes, we do. Lesley Logan 15:08  Where do I submit them? And it is. Brad Crowell 15:10  We totally do. Lesley Logan 15:12  beitpod.com/questions you can also send. Brad Crowell 15:16  beitpod.com/questions plural. Lesley Logan 15:17  You can also submit your wins. There's a spot whether it's a question or a win. So, beitpod.com/questions with the s at the end and then send it. Brad Crowell 15:25  Yeah, submit your wins. Submit your question. Lesley Logan 15:27  Yep, anything, anything goes. Sometimes it doesn't have to be Pilates-related. Anything goes.  Brad Crowell 15:30  Good job. Good remembering.Lesley Logan 15:31  Let's talk about Launa. Brad Crowell 15:33  Stick around. We'll be right back, because we're gonna talk about shit and rainbows in just a minute.  Brad Crowell 15:38  Okay, welcome back. Let's talk about Launa Jae. Launa is a Dallas-based nutrition and fitness coach who specializes in helping people get unstuck without feeling restricted. What does that mean? She is an anti-diet coach and a food freedom expert for high-achieving women. She's passionate about helping others make progress, stay accountable and create sustainable results in both health and in life, and she's hilarious, like, hilarious.Lesley Logan 16:09  She's so funny. That's why the shit and rainbows come from. Also, she, you could even listen to her first episode being on here. Like, there's just so many things that she says, and her descriptive words are perfect. So one of the things that I love that she said is negative emotion is literally just an indication that you're out of alignment with who you are in your true inner being, experiencing debilitating negative emotions that led to stress, and then that led to physical illness. And then she realized a common denominator in all of them was her. So she was prioritizing her to-do list over her well being. So she would wake up, check emails and prioritize her to do list and not like what she needed. And it's so fun to see her. She's obviously switched this. And so you can actually see it in her Instagram if you follow her, she's like, well, I'm at the gym. Didn't want to be here, but I'm doing the workout even though I didn't want to be here, because she's prioritizing herself, right? She's making sure she gets what she needs. And so after doing all this, she was able. I love the self-reflection. I think that's really hard to do, so I love that she self-reflected, and then she concluded that these negative feelings signaled a disconnect between her actions and her authentic self. So who she was telling people what to do for them themselves, and then what she was doing for herself. When we're when we have that dissonance, our brain doesn't like it. It is overwhelming, and we get resentful, and that's negative, right? So instead of just brushing off us having a bad day, she used those feelings as signals that something was out of alignment. And I think it's really cool, if you can figure out in your day and in your life, like, oh, when I feel like this, it's like a little yellow light, hello. This is a sign you're out of alignment. You guys, at the park that I walk the dog at every 30 minutes. This voice comes on these speakers. Brad Crowell 17:41  It does? Lesley Logan 17:42  Yes. Brad Crowell 17:42  At our park? Lesley Logan 17:43  Yes. Brad Crowell 17:44  Like, over the loud speakers in the park? Lesley Logan 17:45  Yes. Brad Crowell 17:46  That's like, creepy.Lesley Logan 17:47  So fucking creepy. It's a little bit like in South Korea when I crossed the street when it was a red light, and this Korean voice, like, came out of nowhere. And I was like, I don't know what you're saying, but I could, like, in the U.S., I could cross the street right now, no one's coming. Anyways, this voice goes, dude, it's like, do-ding-do and then she goes, da-da-da-da-da. She, I don't know what she's saying, but the point of this whole story is, like, find something in your day that can be a sign that, like, oop, I've stepped over the line of being out of alignment. And it could go ding-dong-ding-ding-ding-ding. Brad Crowell 18:22  I don't really know what's happening right now.Lesley Logan 18:23  Listen, let me finish. Let me finish. You are out of alignment. You haven't prioritized yourself. Brad Crowell 18:29  Like an elevator chime.Lesley Logan 18:30  Yes, like an elevator chime. And then like a lovely. Brad Crowell 18:33  You are out of alignment. This, to me, is like a sci-fi movie where it's like, welcome to the ground floor. And then, like.Lesley Logan 18:41  You, Brad, you said you wanted to cold plunge, and you have not done that yet, turn around, go back in there, take care of yourself first.Brad Crowell 18:51  You will hate yourself later if you don't cold plunge now.  Lesley Logan 18:54  You're gonna complain later and Lesley is gonna roll her eyes, you know. So she found her way of understanding that she's out of alignment. We all need a little flashing light, elevator sound, woman in the park. I wish I can tell you what she's saying.Brad Crowell 19:07  Woman in the park coming at you with surround sound. Lesley Logan 19:11  Yeah, it's really rare. It's really weird. It's probably saying you're not supposed to be here right now.Brad Crowell 19:14  I know, right? The park doesn't open until 6:15. Lesley Logan 19:18  A park opens when the sun rises and I'm there before it so clearly, it's for me, anyways. Brad Crowell 19:22  All right, so here's what I really dug. She's talking about urgency culture, and I found that an interesting term, because if it's culture, that means we created it, right? It's also it's learned. I reflected a lot about this, like, wow, there is a sense of we're only here on this planet one time. So I get that, like, driving, like, gotta get things done, you know, kind of a vibe. But also, too, I think if you look at the difference between the United States and Europe on on how people work, you know, we work 40 hours a week. We never take vacations. We work when we're sick, all these kinds of things that are way different from a mentality, from a cultural perspective, the idea of urgency culture kind of scares me. That's not an exciting thing to think about. It also made me reflect on how caught up am I in that myself? Lesley Logan 20:14  Oh, yeah.Brad Crowell 20:15  This idea of never taken any time off or constantly working. You know, we're just listening to one of our coaches, Brad Bizjak.  Lesley Logan 20:23  He's gonna be on the pod soon, guys, stay tuned. Brad Crowell 20:25  Awesome episode coming. Really excited about that. We were listening to one of his episodes on urgency and the importance of leaving yourself time off as well. So anyway, all this being said with Launa Jae, she said, hey, we've created this never ending to do list, and it's stripping us from the human connection, from enjoying our day to day, from being present in the moment. It is funny. It's like we've decided we can, you know, be, quote-unquote, this efficient, so we can do these amount of things every day, whatever those things are, right? If you're working for a company, they always tell you schedule 80% of their expected work time, because 20% will something will get in the way, and they won't actually be able to do all the things. But we still packed in that 80% right. When we are thinking about our day in that manner, it doesn't leave any room for life to be, like, to happen, and also self-reflection. And I think that's the, when she's talking about stripping us from the human connection, enjoying the day to day, from being present in the moment. You know you have to reflect on the things that are happening to you. Like, for example, I mean, I wasn't in in the best physical, like, well-being on this day trip that we took, but we changed altitudes. I opened my water bottle and it exploded all, literally, all over my lap. So, like, and it wasn't a small amount of water. I was literally sitting in a puddle of water. And, like, I'm driving. You know, that could have been hilarious, but I was upset about it. I was, like, really frustrated.Lesley Logan 21:54  I started to laugh at the background. Brad Crowell 21:56  You did start laughing. Lesley Logan 21:56  Because we have done this before. So to me.  Brad Crowell 21:59  I had no idea we changed altitude. It wasn't like a thing I could check, but the realities that happened, and instead of it being funny, it was frustrating because I'm like, I have to drive, I have to do this, and I'm trying to take a drink of water, and then boom. And instead of appreciating the hilarity of the moment, I didn't, you know, when Launa Jae was talking about this, she explained, we're constantly rushing to complete tasks and focusing solely on our to-do list, which is stripping us of being present and by being intentional about what we're doing. Right? So this intentionality she's talking about then, why are we doing what, what we're doing while we're doing it, it'll help us be more present in the moment. So now she's limiting distractions. She's trying to be in the moment more. And the number one thing she said is especially because she works in social media, the number one thing she said is just limiting those notifications and hiding her phone that allows her to stay present, stay in the moment, be having a conversation and thinking about the conversation she's having. Instead of constantly being interrupted, even if you're not necessarily addressing it, you're still processing it. Your brain is still processing it in the moment. So I like that she's prioritizing peace and laughter. You know, I think those are great things.Lesley Logan 23:10  Yeah. If you're a high-achieving person or an ex athlete, or any of those things. I think it's so cool to listen to because we're all human. You can't change everything about yourself all at one time. You have to pick and choose and go, okay, well, what can I do here? Like, if you look at BJ Fogg, and he's like, I'm frustrated because I'm working on this project, and I'm not sleeping enough, so I want to sleep better. He actually was like, okay, how, what are the all the different ways I could sleep better? Well, he's not going to do all of those things. He, actually, to make a habit had to go what are the three easiest things of what I just came up with that I want to do? And then how can I do that? So that's how he talks about how you can make changes in your life. And so if you want to be more present, what are all the different ways you'd be more present? Well, one of the things is to limit the notifications in your phone, because you're less distracted, right? So I think it's just a really cool you can start to see yourself in different things that Launa is explaining, and then you might be able to address it as well. I got an ad for a phone booth, a phone box. It's, it's really beautiful wood, but I would it's, it's.Brad Crowell 24:08  What are you? What is it? Lesley Logan 24:09  It looks like, it kind of looks like a hobbit door, you know, like those old, how like in Harry Potter.Brad Crowell 24:16  Oh, you put your phone in it? Lesley Logan 24:17  Yeah, and you open it up, and there's these little slats, and it could fit six phones, and then there's a hole in the back for a charging cable to come through. I looked at it as, like, well, how much is this phone booth? Because that's kind of cute. Like a place we could put our phones. We were not distracted. Like, it's a cute little box. I mean, you could probably you could probably just put them in any kind of box, you guys, because first of all, it was $75 I was like, I'm out on that. Second of all, you still have to put the cord through. So the like, to me, the box should just charge my phone. So when that happens, then I don't want to have to find more cords over the cords. But at any rate, find a place to put your phone if you want to be less distracted.  Brad Crowell 24:51  Love it. All right, stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about those Be It Actions with Launa Jae. Brad Crowell 24:56  All right, so let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Launa Jae? She said, hey, being where you are, 10 toes down. First time she said it, I understood what she said, but it took me a minute to like process it. Again, she's talking about really being present. She said, wherever those toes are, that's where your focus needs to be, right? She shared how this quote became a daily anchor for her to stay grounded in the moment instead of rushing from one task to another. I'm here, 10 toes down, right? It's a cool little phrase that allows you to be like, oh yeah, remind myself to be in the moment, to be here. She said it helps her stay present and ask herself, why am I doing the thing that I'm doing right now? Why am I doing this? Right? I'm here, so my 10 toes are down here. Is this where I should be? Why am I doing what I'm doing? Right? She also emphasized the importance of being intentional about your time and reflecting on the time that you're spending in different places. So she said this kind of purposeful focus gave her the space to reflect, process her emotions and communicate more clearly, especially in moments of stress. So, good for her. I think it's a cool little phrase. 10 toes down. She's good at those, yeah, like the horse pill without water. Lesley Logan 26:16  She also said to stay curious everything can teach you more about yourself. I think this is so key, because we might not like how we react to things, we might not like how something is going, but we could be curious about like, well, why don't I like that? Well, what's going on there? And there's so much information out there in this world today that you could probably figure out, like, well, what is that saying? And like, what's going on? And so I think just everything, even the things we don't like, can teach us more about ourselves. In fact, I actually think the thing things not going right, things not going well, things that blow up in our faces, like, they all kind of teach us a little bit more than like, when everything goes really well, if everything is good all the time, you kind of often don't know as much about yourself. So want to also encourage us to create awareness around where we are and get clear on where you want to go. So maybe take a second of like, okay, I'm going to this meeting. The goal of this meeting is X, Y and Z. This is why I'm going to this meeting. This is what I want. And then have some clarity there, and then be 10 toes down and reminded us that grace and consistency go a long way. That is very true. It actually is really hard to pick yourself up quickly if you're beating yourself up. The teams in sports that do the best, don't focus on yesterday's loss. They focus on the goal of today. You know, as they learn from yesterday's loss, they watch tapes, they take feedback, but if they're beating themselves up over a wrong turn or a bad pitch, they're going to take that with them into the next game, versus going okay, today's game is to beat this team, and this team is really good at x, y and z, and when I'm up against that, this is what I know because you learned about yourself. So it all goes together, and grace is and is going to help you be more consistent, for sure. And she also said there's going to be really hard days but what matters most is what you do with them. And I think that's such a good reminder.Lesley Logan 27:53  You know, Launa Jae, you're so fun, you're so fabulous. You guys, I think you're going to really love listening to her episode. If you haven't listened to it already. Also go back into the archives and grab another episode out of her if you really enjoy what she's saying and follow her, because her stories are really fun.Brad Crowell 28:08  Yeah, her first time on the pod was episode 53.   Lesley Logan 28:12  Whoa and what episode is this? Brad Crowell 28:15  533 Lesley Logan 28:16  So she is, that's.  Brad Crowell 28:18  Almost 500 episodes. Lesley Logan 28:20  No, that's like 53 and three. She's 50, episode 53 and then 533. There's another 50. Launa, go play the 53 at the lottery, I think. Brad Crowell 28:30  Awesome. Well, thanks for joining us today.  Lesley Logan 28:33  I'm Lesley Logan Brad Crowell 28:34  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 28:35  Oh my goodness. I was like, okay, Brad is gonna wrap this up, but that's not how this goes. You guys know what to do. Leave us a review. Make sure you tell Launa Jae, like, what your favorite takeaways were, what maybe your favorite quip is, and share this with a friend who needs to hear it like, who needs a pep talk, who needs to slow down and like, take in how they're doing things and be more present with themselves. That's how this podcast grows and until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 28:57  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 28:59  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 29:41  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 29:46  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 29:50  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 29:58  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 30:01  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 30:15  Okay, guys, time to talk about shit and rainbows with Launa Jae.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1706: Nir Eyal breaks down how to build better habits by leveraging the same psychological principles that make apps and products so addictive. By understanding internal triggers and reinforcing behavior through simple, consistent cues, anyone can design habits that stick, without relying on sheer willpower. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.nirandfar.com/habit-forming/ Quotes to ponder: "Behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated." "The best products don't win by being the most habit-forming, they win by being the most useful and easiest to use." "All habits start with a trigger, a cue to act." Episode references: Atomic Habits: https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0735211299 BJ Fogg's Behavior Model: https://www.behaviormodel.org/ Hooked: https://www.amazon.com/Hooked-How-Build-Habit-Forming-Products/dp/1591847788 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1706: Nir Eyal breaks down how to build better habits by leveraging the same psychological principles that make apps and products so addictive. By understanding internal triggers and reinforcing behavior through simple, consistent cues, anyone can design habits that stick, without relying on sheer willpower. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.nirandfar.com/habit-forming/ Quotes to ponder: "Behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated." "The best products don't win by being the most habit-forming, they win by being the most useful and easiest to use." "All habits start with a trigger, a cue to act." Episode references: Atomic Habits: https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0735211299 BJ Fogg's Behavior Model: https://www.behaviormodel.org/ Hooked: https://www.amazon.com/Hooked-How-Build-Habit-Forming-Products/dp/1591847788 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send us a textIn this episode we interview Lisa Heiss, UX and behavioral design specialist and founder of Uxcelerate. Lisa helps SaaS startups build better products by using behavioral design principles grounded in data and strategy.What you'll learn in this episode:The real meaning of behavioral design and how it applies to content marketingWhy most content fails—not because of what's said, but how it's perceivedTactical frameworks like the BJ Fogg model that you can apply instantlyHow to reduce friction and increase motivation in your contentThe key difference between describing what you do and showing what it gets peopleSimple strategies to turn complex ideas into compelling, actionable contentHow to design content that leads people naturally to the next step

Send us a textSeason 3, Episode 41 - Habits That Sustain: How to Build Rhythms for Life & Ministry. In this episode of the Clergy Wellness Podcast, we explore how small, intentional habits can support sustainable ministry. Drawing on Atomic Habits by James Clear, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, and Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg, we'll look at the science behind habit formation—and how to apply it to the rhythms of clergy life.Topics Covered:Why habits matter more than motivationThe Habit Loop: Cue → Routine → RewardJames Clear's 4 Laws of Behavior ChangeHow to anchor new habits to existing routinesWhat to do when you slipWellness Practice of the Week: Create your first tiny habitReflection questions to deepen your growthResources:Instagram @nicolereilleycoachingFacebook @nicolereilleycoachingBluesky @RevNicole.bsky.social & @clergycoaching.bsky.socialSubstack. @revnicole Ministry & Life Coaching and Social Media Management at NicoleReilley.com.Expanding the Expedition Through Digital Ministry by Nicole Reilley at AmazonContact me: RevReilley@gmail.comwww.NicoleReilley.com

Lasting change begins with a shift in both mindset and behavior. Many people remain stuck in self-defeating patterns because of unconscious narratives, emotional triggers, and a disconnection from their body's inner wisdom. Change isn't just about willpower or information—it's about learning to rewire the brain through small, intentional actions that generate powerful emotional feedback loops. Identity transformation happens not through repetition, but through experiences that create a sense of success. In a world flooded with conflicting advice and manipulative marketing, reclaiming agency requires tuning into your own signals, building self-trust, and recognizing that behavior change is a design challenge—not a character flaw. Empowerment comes from realizing that the ability to change is built into who we are as humans. In this episode, I speak with Tom Bilyeu, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, and Dr. BJ Fogg about cracking the nut of behavior change. Tom Bilyeu is a filmmaker and serial entrepreneur best known as the co-founder of Quest Nutrition, a billion-dollar company built to combat metabolic disease through value-driven innovation. After nearly a decade of chasing financial success and feeling unfulfilled, he realized the importance of loving the struggle itself. This insight led him and his partners to shift focus from profit to purpose. Quest quickly became the second fastest-growing company in North America, according to Inc. Magazine. After achieving significant personal wealth, Tom turned to the other global crisis he saw—disempowering mindsets. To address this, he co-founded Impact Theory, a media studio with his wife, Lisa Bilyeu. Their mission is to scale mindset transformation by producing empowering content that shifts the cultural subconscious. Just as Disney built the most magical place on Earth, the Bilyeus aim to build the most empowering one. Dr. Rangan Chatterjee is regarded as one of the most influential doctors in the UK. A practicing GP for the last two decades, Dr. Chatterjee wants to inspire people to transform their health by making small, sustainable changes to their lifestyles. Host of the #1 Apple podcast, Feel Better, Live More, and presenter of BBC 1's Doctor in the House, Dr. Chatterjee is the author of 5 Sunday Times bestselling books and his TED Talk, “How to Make Diseases Disappear,” has now been viewed over 4.8 million times. His newest book is Happy Mind, Happy Life: The New Science of Mental Well-Being. Dr. BJ Fogg is a behavior scientist, author, and founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University, where he has researched human behavior since 1998. He developed the groundbreaking “Behavior Design” system, which explains how behavior works and how to design it effectively. Over the past decade, his lab has focused on practical applications—from helping people navigate coronavirus-related challenges to training climate change professionals in behavior change strategies. BJ is also the creator of the “Tiny Habits” method, a simple, science-backed approach to habit formation that has helped over 40,000 people make lasting life changes. His work empowers individuals and organizations to design behavior that benefits both people and the planet. He shares his insights in the New York Times best-selling book, Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything. This episode is brought to you by BIOptimizers. Head to bioptimizers.com/hyman and use code HYMAN10 to save 10%. Full-length episodes can be found here: Why Your Mindset Matters If You Want Health And WealthHow to Make Change That Lasts with Dr. Rangan ChatterjeeHow to Make Behavior Change Stick

Our workplaces are full of smart, capable people who are stuck in survival mode. They're overwhelmed, constantly busy, and unsure how to sustain high performance. Meanwhile, organizations continue to default to control-based leadership, even though it's no longer effective in a fast-changing, “loosely coupled” world.Does this mean consistently driving high performance while maintaining personal well-being is impossible today? Not when you have the right tools.In this Happiness Squad Podcast episode, Ashish Kothari sits down with Angus Ridgway, former McKinsey partner & co-founder of Potentialife, to unpack the SHARP framework: a research-backed system that helps leaders and teams flourish through Strengths, Health, Absorption, Relationships, and Purpose.Angus Ridgway is a seasoned leadership expert with a 20-year tenure at McKinsey & Company, where he held senior roles, including leading the Strategy Practice across Europe, the Middle East, and Africa. He co-founded Potentialife with Tal Ben-Shahar to democratize leadership development, making it accessible and impactful at all organizational levels.Things you will learn in this episode:• Strengths: Rediscovering What Makes You Shine• Health: Why The Real Problem Isn't Stress But Lack of Recovery• Absorption: Monotasking Is the New Superpower• Relationships: The Power of Being Positively Authentic• Purpose: The Final Lever for FlourishingIf you're ready to become an up to 10X more effective leader, don't miss this epic episode. Tune in now.Resources:✅• Potentialife: https://www.linkedin.com/company/potentialife/ • Kagan's Theory of Adult Development: https://medium.com/@NataliMorad/how-to-be-an-adult-kegans-theory-of-adult-development-d63f4311b553 • Owning the difference you make to the world | Angus Ridgway | TEDxIEMadrid: https://youtu.be/o-tdmbiQ-yE?si=x9owGL-5QQyNons9 Books:✅• The Joy of Leadership by Angus Ridgway & Tal Ben-Shahar: https://a.co/d/8BFQHGz • 4,000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman: https://a.co/d/3sAJi0d • Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: https://a.co/d/6A5Bzur • Hardwired for Happiness by Ashish Kothari: https://a.co/d/asM0o0c

TUNE IN TO LEARN:  Every day we wake up to expanding to-do lists, countless open tabs, and the gnawing feeling that we're falling behind. Sound familiar?  It's not just you - it's the natural result of living in an accelerating world where AI, content, and expectations multiply faster than we can keep up.  But what if your frustration with "not getting things done" isn't a personal failure but simply the result of working against your brain's natural wiring?  In this episode we break down the behavioral science behind why willpower alone fails and how to deal with increasing forgetfulness :) - a practical four-step system will transform how you approach tasks and responsibilities.  Quit frustration - welcome to getting all the IMPORTANT done consistently and reliably.  Drawing from Stanford scientist BJ Fogg's groundbreaking behavior model (Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Prompt) and insights from neuroscience, We reveal why our brains function much like apps - without the right trigger, action simply doesn't happen. You'll discover why "what looks like resistance is often a lack of clarity" and how this insight can free you from the shame spiral of repeatedly forgetting important tasks.  Ready to transform your relationship with productivity and reclaim your sense of control? Listen now, and remember to share this episode with someone who might benefit from breaking free of overwhelm and building systems that actually work.  https://calendly.com/angelashurina/executive-momentum-360    Text Me Your Thoughts and IdeasSupport the show Brought to you by Angela Shurina EXECUTIVE & OPTIMAL PERFORMANCE COACH

When we create learning solutions, what we really want is to create a new behavior or change behavior in some way. So, what does it take to create a new behavior? On this episode of Learning for Good, I'm sharing lessons from behavior change experts Charles Duhigg, James Clear, and BJ Fogg. Then, I'm going to take those behavior change lessons and translate them into workplace learning.▶️ Using Learning to Create Behavior Change | Lessons from the Experts ▶️ Key Points:00:58 The challenges of creating a new behavior02:59 Behavior change lessons from Charles Duhigg, James Clear, and BJ Fogg06:07 Applying behavior change principles to workplace learningResources from this episode:The Power of Habit by Charles DuhiggAtomic Habits by James ClearTiny Habits by BJ FoggJoin the Nonprofit Learning and Development Collective: https://www.skillmastersmarket.com/nonprofit-learning-and-development-collectiveWas this episode helpful? If you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, follow and leave a review!

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3128: Mark Dennis shares practical strategies for building financial habits that actually last, emphasizing the importance of values-based goals, small wins, and systems over willpower. Learn how to align your money behavior with your long-term vision through habit science and simple, repeatable actions. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.financialfinesse.com/2018/03/16/how-to-adopt-financial-habits-that-stick/ Quotes to ponder: "One of the most important steps in adopting better financial habits is identifying a strong, personal motivation behind the behavior." "Motivation gets you started, but systems are what keep you going." "If the habit is too big or too drastic a change from your current behavior, it's likely to fail." Episode references: BJ Fogg's Behavior Model: https://www.behaviormodel.org/ Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Habits-Changes-Everything/dp/0358003326 Betterment (automated investing): https://www.betterment.com/ You Need a Budget (YNAB): https://www.youneedabudget.com/ The Power of Habit: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3128: Mark Dennis shares practical strategies for building financial habits that actually last, emphasizing the importance of values-based goals, small wins, and systems over willpower. Learn how to align your money behavior with your long-term vision through habit science and simple, repeatable actions. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.financialfinesse.com/2018/03/16/how-to-adopt-financial-habits-that-stick/ Quotes to ponder: "One of the most important steps in adopting better financial habits is identifying a strong, personal motivation behind the behavior." "Motivation gets you started, but systems are what keep you going." "If the habit is too big or too drastic a change from your current behavior, it's likely to fail." Episode references: BJ Fogg's Behavior Model: https://www.behaviormodel.org/ Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Habits-Changes-Everything/dp/0358003326 Betterment (automated investing): https://www.betterment.com/ You Need a Budget (YNAB): https://www.youneedabudget.com/ The Power of Habit: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Beating Cancer Daily, Saranne explores the transformative power of self-celebration and micro-celebrations in the journey of battling Stage IV cancer. Saranne reveals her unique approach, inspired by the research of BJ Fogg from Stanford, which involves breaking down treatment milestones into small, joyful moments. By learning to be our own cheerleaders and celebrating every win, no matter how small, Saranne encourages listeners to foster confidence, hope, and resilience amidst their treatment.Ranked the Top 5 Best Cancer Podcasts by CancerCare News in 2024 & 2025, Beating Cancer Daily and rated #1 Rated Cancer Survivor Podcast by FeedSpot in 2024 is listened to in more than 100+ countries on 7 continents and has over 365 original daily episodes hosted by Stage IV survivor Saranne Rothberg!   To learn more about Host Saranne Rothberg and The ComedyCures Foundation:https://www.comedycures.org/ To write to Saranne or a guest:https://www.comedycures.org/contact-8 To record a message to Saranne or a guest:https://www.speakpipe.com/BCD_Comments_Suggestions To sign up for the free Health Builder Series live on Zoom with Saranne and Jacqui, go to The ComedyCures Foundation's homepage:https://www.comedycures.org/ Please support the creation of more original episodes of Beating Cancer Daily and other free ComedyCures Foundation programs with a tax-deductible contribution:http://bit.ly/ComedyCuresDonate THANK YOU! Please tell a friend whom we may help, and please support us with a beautiful review. Have a blessed day! Saranne 

Send us a textToday we talk about the concept of "unsubscribing" – not just from email newsletters, but from the thoughts, beliefs, and habits that no longer serve us as physicians.Episode Highlights:We celebrate 3 years of "Ending Physician Overwhelm" (launched March 2022)Unsubscribe from harmful ideas and beliefs:The belief that we should be able to function in a broken healthcare system without supportThe notion that we must respond to every patient message in extensive detailThe idea that asking for help makes us "difficult" or "not a team player"Unsubscribe from complexity:Let go of complex solutions when simple ones would work betterStop believing that you must figure out everything on your ownRecognize when to delegate or refer instead of overcomplicating your workloadUnsubscribe from habits that don't serve you:Professional habits like doing tasks below your license levelPersonal habits that neglect your wellbeing (poor sleep, inadequate exercise)The pattern of putting yourself last while caring for everyone elseRemember: You deserve a sustainable, fulfilling life with meaningful work AND connection to the people you love outside of medicine.Resources Mentioned:"Atomic Habits" by James Clear"Tiny Habits" by BJ Fogg"Smarter Living" (book mentioned from library)Did you enjoy this episode? Please leave a rating and review to help others find us, and share with a colleague who might benefit!Need more support? Schedule a coaching consultation at https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-callConnect with us:Website: healthierforgood.comEmail: megan@healthierforgood.comInstagram: @meganmelomdIf you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share with a colleague who might benefit! Support the showTo learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.Want to contact me directly?Email: megan@healthierforgood.comFollow me on Instagram!@MeganMeloMD

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1646: Nir Eyal breaks down the psychology behind user engagement through a simple three-step framework: trigger, action, and reward. He explains how companies can design products that create lasting habits by tapping into users' internal motivations and building feedback loops that keep them coming back. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.nirandfar.com/2012/04/hooking-users-in-3-steps.html Quotes to ponder: "Habits are defined as behaviors done with little or no conscious thought." "The more users invest time and effort into a product, the more they value it." "The Hook model has three steps: a trigger, an action, and a variable reward." Episode references: BJ Fogg's Behavior Model: https://www.behaviormodel.org/ Skinner's Variable Rewards Study: https://psychology.fandom.com/wiki/B._F._Skinner Hooked: https://www.amazon.com/Hooked-How-Build-Habit-Forming-Products/dp/1591847788 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1646: Nir Eyal breaks down the psychology behind user engagement through a simple three-step framework: trigger, action, and reward. He explains how companies can design products that create lasting habits by tapping into users' internal motivations and building feedback loops that keep them coming back. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.nirandfar.com/2012/04/hooking-users-in-3-steps.html Quotes to ponder: "Habits are defined as behaviors done with little or no conscious thought." "The more users invest time and effort into a product, the more they value it." "The Hook model has three steps: a trigger, an action, and a variable reward." Episode references: BJ Fogg's Behavior Model: https://www.behaviormodel.org/ Skinner's Variable Rewards Study: https://psychology.fandom.com/wiki/B._F._Skinner Hooked: https://www.amazon.com/Hooked-How-Build-Habit-Forming-Products/dp/1591847788 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever thought, “I know what to do—why am I not doing it?”, this episode is for you.In this Think Thursday edition of the Alcohol Minimalist podcast, Molly breaks down the Hierarchy of Competency, a science-backed framework that explains why sustainable behavior change can feel frustrating—and why that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. From the origins of the model in the 1970s to how neuroscience confirms its relevance today, you'll discover a practical roadmap for moving from struggle to sustainability.To bring this to life, we follow the fictional story of Mary, a woman who wants to build an exercise habit after years of being sedentary. As Mary progresses through the four stages—from Unconscious Incompetence to Unconscious Competence—you'll see how this framework applies to any change you're working on, including drinking less, improving your mindset, or adding healthier habits to your routine.You'll walk away understanding:The 4 stages of the Hierarchy of Competency and why each one mattersWhat neuroscience tells us about habit formation and identity changeHow to identify which stage you're in—and how to move forwardWhy struggle is not failure—it's a necessary step on the path to peaceIf you're trying to change your relationship with alcohol, shift your mindset, or add a positive habit to your life, this episode will help you stop shaming yourself and start supporting yourself like a learner—not a perfectionist.What You'll Learn:Why “I know better, but I'm not doing better” is not a personal flawHow the Hierarchy of Competency explains the emotional rollercoaster of changeWhat behavior change research and neuroscience (including BJ Fogg and Lally et al., 2010) reveal about how long it really takes to form habits5 clear action steps you can take this week to keep moving forwardResources + Mentions:The Hierarchy of Competency model (originally attributed to Noel Burch, Gordon Training International)Research on habit formation by Dr. Phillippa Lally, University College LondonConcepts inspired by BJ Fogg's behavior model and the Stages of Change frameworkJoin the free Facebook group: Alcohol Minimalists: Change Your Drinking HabitsConnect with Molly:Email: molly@mollywatts.comWebsite: www.mollywatts.comReady to Go Deeper?Explore the Making Peace with Alcohol coaching program—designed to help you move from Conscious Incompetence to lasting transformation. ★ Support this podcast ★

For years, we've been told that willpower and repetition are the keys to forming habits. But the truth is, habits don't stick because of repetition—they stick because of emotion! In this all-time classic episode, Dave brings together two of the world's top habit experts—BJ Fogg, PhD, and James Clear—to break down the real science of behavior change. BJ, the Stanford researcher behind Tiny Habits, explains why motivation, ability, and the right prompts are the real drivers of habits. Meanwhile, Atomic Habits author James Clear reveals how small decisions compound over time to shape your entire life. What You'll Learn in This Episode: • Why willpower and repetition don't work—and what actually makes habits stick • The tiny changes that create massive, lasting results • How emotions play a bigger role in habit formation than you think • The hidden power of stacking small habits for exponential growth • How to automate your decisions to free up brainpower for bigger goals SPONSORS -STEMREGEN | Head to https://www.stemregen.co/dave for 20% off your first order. -LMNT | Free LMNT Sample Pack with any drink mix purchase by going to https://drinklmnt.com/DAVE. Resources: • Dave Asprey's New Book - Heavily Meditated: https://daveasprey.com/heavily-meditated/ • BJ Fogg's Website – https://www.bjfogg.com/ • James Clear's Website: https://jamesclear.com/ • 2025 Biohacking Conference: https://biohackingconference.com/2025 • Danger Coffee: https://dangercoffee.com • Dave Asprey's Website: https://daveasprey.com • Dave Asprey's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/daveasprey • Upgrade Collective – Join The Human Upgrade Podcast Live: https://www.ourupgradecollective.com • Own an Upgrade Labs: https://ownanupgradelabs.com • Upgrade Labs: https://upgradelabs.com • 40 Years of Zen – Neurofeedback Training for Advanced Cognitive Enhancement: https://40yearsofzen.com Timestamps: • 00:00 – Intro • 00:39 – Understanding habits • 01:10 – Layering habits with James Clear • 01:49 – BJ Fogg's Tiny Habits method • 03:03 – The science of habit formation • 05:49 – Practical habit-building tips • 09:57 – Emotions vs. repetition in habits • 18:02 – Ability & context in habits • 21:19 – Genes, dopamine & behavior • 26:20 – Final thoughts See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What makes a habit stick?  We tend to try to do it all, but it's the TINY HABITS that add up to a major transformation.  Today we're chatting more about the concept of TINY HABITS by BJ Fogg and how this is a way less overwhelming way to ensure you habits stick so you can stay consistent and see and feel results.  Take action with 9 tiny habits that I'm sharing with you today!Need some more habit strategy catered toward midlife moms? Enroll now for free in my 3 day email challenge, HABIT LOOP BOOTCAMP! ***HABIT HACKS:-Get a free 7 day trial in the TRAINING FOR LIFE app!-Need 1:1 accountability for your habits?  Schedule a FREE DISCOVERY CALL to find out more!-CHECK OUT THE FREEBIE VAULT!: Access habit tools, self care checklist, ingredient meal tips, free workouts and more! JOIN THE FREE COMMUNITY!LET'S CONNECT:Connect with Emily:@emilynichols22www.emily-nichols.com Get your free 7 day trial in my habit based fitness app, TRAINING FOR LIFE!

Send us a textYour relationship with yourself is the foundation of EVERYTHING.No amount of success, validation, or external achievement can replace a healthy self-relationship. And yet, so many high achievers and trauma survivors neglect this relationship the most.In today's episode, we cover:Why your relationship with yourself shapes every part of your lifeThe 5 key areas that determine self-worth & self-trustHow self-talk, thoughts, and daily habits rewire your brainThe neuroscience of breaking toxic patterns & limiting beliefsThe small shifts that lead to lasting transformationPlus, I'm giving you a FREE PDF for a Healthier Relationship With Yourself to track where you stand and start making real changes.

On the first day of each month we review the book of the month. In order for a book to be worthy of book of the month it has to meet a very simple criteria. It has to be impactful enough to change your life, or your perspective on the world. Our book this month was written by BJ Fogg who teaches at Stanford University. He emphasizes that making big changes is incredibly difficult and virtually proned to failure. But small, minute changes, made deliberately can be stacked in a cumulative way to create larger changes. This book is a compelling read and quite frankly, I'm recommending it to the accountability group we formed to help participants in our 2025 Goal Setting Retreat achieve their goals. ---------------- **Real Estate Espresso Podcast:** Spotify: [The Real Estate Espresso Podcast](https://open.spotify.com/show/3GvtwRmTq4r3es8cbw8jW0?si=c75ea506a6694ef1)   iTunes: [The Real Estate Espresso Podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-real-estate-espresso-podcast/id1340482613)   Website: [www.victorjm.com](http://www.victorjm.com)   LinkedIn: [Victor Menasce](http://www.linkedin.com/in/vmenasce)   YouTube: [The Real Estate Espresso Podcast](http://www.youtube.com/@victorjmenasce6734)   Facebook: [www.facebook.com/realestateespresso](http://www.facebook.com/realestateespresso)   Email: [podcast@victorjm.com](mailto:podcast@victorjm.com)  **Y Street Capital:** Website: [www.ystreetcapital.com](http://www.ystreetcapital.com)   Facebook: [www.facebook.com/YStreetCapital](https://www.facebook.com/YStreetCapital)   Instagram: [@ystreetcapital](http://www.instagram.com/ystreetcapital)  

Anna Dearmon Kornick shares essential tools and tricks for managing your time and energy well. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) What most forget when planning out their day 2) How to keep little tasks from distracting you 3) How to arrange your week to maximize energy Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1024 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT ANNA — Anna Dearmon Kornick is a highly sought after time management coach and keynote speaker, top 1% globally ranked podcast host of It's About Time, and founder of the It's About Time Academy. A true Louisiana firecracker who has become known for making time management fun, Anna helps busy professionals and business owners struggling with overwhelm manage their time using her personality-driven HEART Method. Building on more than a decade of experience in the fast-moving, high-stakes world of political and crisis communications, it's no surprise that Anna thrives on creating order out of chaos. Early in her career, she wrangled media for a Lt. Governor and managed the hectic schedule of a U.S. Congressman. Her rapid response background and relentless approach to problem-solving position her as the go-to expert for purpose-driven time management for busy professionals. • Podcast: It's About Time • Website: AnnaDKornick.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Author: Laura Vanderkam • Book: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen • Book: Mind Management, Not Time Management: Productivity When Creativity Matters (Getting Art Done) by David Kadavy • Book: The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth About Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan • Book: Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg • Past episode: 052: Mind Management for Productivity with David Kadavy • Past episode: 317: How to Form Habits the Smart Way with BJ Fogg, PhD • Past episode: 482: David Allen Returns with the 10 Moves to Stress-Free Productivity• Past episode: 617: Enhancing Your Productivity by Managing Your Mental Energy with David Kadavy— THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Acorns. Start saving and investing for your future today with Acorns.com/awesome • Earth Breeze. Get 40% off your subscription at earthbreeze.com/AWESOME• Lingoda. Get a 10% discount and up to 45 free classes with the code AWESOME2025 or https://try.lingoda.com/awesome2025See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Feeling foggy, anxious, or low-energy? Discover how your hormones, brain health, and daily habits might be holding you back. Chalene sits down with Dr. Daniel Amen, renowned psychiatrist and brain health expert, to discuss the profound connection between hormones, mental clarity, and overall well-being. Together, they explore how changes in hormones like estrogen and progesterone can impact mood, sleep, and cognitive health. Dr. Amen provides actionable tips for optimizing brain function, explains the critical importance of regular lab tests, and shares groundbreaking insights on trauma's impact on longevity. Plus, Chalene opens up about her personal journey with brain scans and the lifestyle changes that transformed her health. What You'll Learn: The surprising effects of hormone decline on mental health and cognition. Why bioidentical hormones can play a key role in preventing conditions like Alzheimer's. The connection between trauma and longevity, and how EMDR can help. Practical steps to optimize brain health through lifestyle and supplementation. How brain scans can provide clarity and drive life-changing health decisions.   Thank you to MIDI!!

The SHOCKING Reason You're Sabotaging Your Success – In this must-listen episode of the Passion Struck podcast, host John R. Miles interviews cognitive scientist Art Markman to uncover why so many of us struggle to achieve our goals. It's not just about effort—how misaligned actions and values quietly undermine our success. Art reveals how understanding your brain's natural tendencies can help you align your behaviors with your values, leading to sharper decision-making, stronger discipline, and deeper empathy.John R. Miles and Art Markman dive into practical strategies for overcoming cognitive biases, building mental resilience, and mastering habits that drive success. If you're ready to stop sabotaging yourself and finally achieve your goals, this episode is packed with actionable insights you can't miss!Full show notes and resources: https://passionstruck.com/art-markman-unlock-unstoppable-success/SponsorsBabbel: Unlock the power of learning a new language with Babbel's innovative system. Passion Struck listeners can get 60% off their subscription at Babbel.com/PASSION.Hims: Regrow your hair before it's too late! Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/PASSIONSTRUCK.Quince: Experience luxury for less with Quince's premium products at radically low prices. Enjoy free shipping and 365-day returns at Quince.com/PASSION.For more information about our sponsors and promo codes, visit: passionstruck.com/dealsIn this episode, you will learn:How misaligned actions derail your successUsing cognitive science to make better decisionsBuilding discipline and mental strengthThe surprising link between empathy and leadershipBreaking free from cognitive biases to lead more effectivelyConnect with Dr. Art Markman: https://provost.utexas.edu/the-office/art-markmans-bio/Order Passion StruckUnlock the principles that will transform your life! Order my book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life. Recognized as a 2024 must-read by the Next Big Idea Club, this book has earned accolades such as the Business Minds Best Book Award, the Eric Hoffer Award, and the Non-Fiction Book Awards Gold Medal. Order your copy today and ignite your journey toward intentional living!Catch More Passion StruckMy solo episode on How to Live Intentionally With Passion and PerseveranceCan't miss my episode with Katy Milkman on Creating Lasting Behavior Change for GoodWatch my episode with Angela Duckworth on the Keys to Achieving Long-Term SuccessDiscover my interview with Amy Leigh Mercree on Master Your Aura, Master Your LifeCatch my interview with BJ Fogg on How Tiny Habits Can Transform Your LifeIf you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review! Even one sentence helps. Be sure to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can personally thank you!