Podcasts about adlerian

Let's call it exactly what it is.I could have titled this one "how to build body confidence" or "cultivating self-acceptance," but that is not really my style. This episode is about genuinely, truly, deeply stopping giving a fuck about what people think of your appearance. Not saying you don't care while still dressing in the dark and cancelling plans because of a bad body image day. The real thing. The freedom thing.This episode is for you if:You are keeping yourself small, hiding or not fully living because of fear of being judged for how your body looksYou know intellectually that you shouldn't care what people think but have no idea how to actually get thereYou have been waiting to feel worthy before you start living your lifeSomeone has made a comment about your body and you cannot stop thinking about itYou brush off compliments and find it genuinely painful when people accept or love youYou are in recovery and the fear of judgment feels like one of the biggest things keeping you stuckIn this episode, we cover:✨ Why caring about other people's judgment is not vanity, it is a literal survival mechanism rooted in evolution✨ The separation of tasks: the Adlerian concept that is quietly revolutionary for body image✨ The what if questions and why asking them opens something that forcing confidence never can✨ Why actions come before feelings, not the other way around, and what that looks like in practice✨ What actually happens when someone comments on your body, and why it lands so hard✨ The golf ball and glass of water: what chronic body shame does to your sense of self over time✨ The scar study and what it reveals about expectation bias and the invisible lenses we see ourselves through✨ Why the judgment you fear from others is almost always a projection of your own inner critic✨ Why you cannot collect enough external validation to fill an internal void, ever✨ Comparison as the thing that requires hierarchy, and why you are losing a competition that was never real✨ The grief of letting go of a body, an identity and a coping mechanism that were familiar, even when they were destroying you✨ Why receiving love and compliments can feel genuinely dangerous, and what to do with that✨ Six practical ways to move from understanding all of this to actually living itPowerful quotes from the episode:

Nick Komodina built a $500k/month business with zero ads, and he almost didn't live long enough to see it. Nick is a conscious leadership and business mentor, author of Surrender, and one of the most direct voices I've come across on what breaks people once they get what they thought they wanted. The story starts in an Eight Mile trailer park and lands in a backyard with a gun to his head. Between those two points is a version of success most of the online coaching world refuses to talk about. Comfort is expensive. Faith is not certainty. Self-sabotage is a goal in disguise. Nick unpacks all three with the kind of specificity that makes you uncomfortable in the best way. We also have a real conversation about content, being the guide instead of the hero, and why a massive spike in followers didn't move his engagement numbers at all. If you've been sitting on a calling and dressing it up as a strategy, this episode names the game you're actually playing. You'll learn: [00:00] Introduction [3:09] Growing up in a trailer park, and the moment stealing $100 became an identity [7:37] Some people see through the matrix while others stay NPCs forever [12:14] Childhood trauma buries the gift God placed inside you [17:35] The biggest content mistake: positioning yourself as the guide, not the hero [24:31] How desperate people con themselves using scammy coaches as a tool [30:18] The night a voice stopped him from pulling the trigger [35:46] The four pillars of success and why training your weakest muscle matters most [47:44] Coming off TRT and healing gut infections forced him to pull back from business [58:46] Adlerian psychology and why you actually don't want to break past 10K months [1:06:49] Letting the right people opt out is the real content strategy  Follow Nick on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ for more content on conscious leadership, authentic brand building, and turning big visions into reality. Find more from Nick: Nick Komodina | ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠ Surrender by Nick Komodina | ⁠⁠Book⁠⁠ Find more from Ste: Ste Lane | ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ Radical Health Radio | ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠ Heart and Soil Supplements | ⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠X⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠

What if I told you your unhappiness is not the result of bad luck or your past, but a lie you have been telling yourself? In this video, I talk about the most controversial self-help book I have ever read. This book is about the principles of Adlerian psychology. I share three claims that sound to out of touch to be true, buy after close examination, you may think differently. Nuance is key in a video such as this. Listen, reflect and come to your own conclusions. The book references a variety of topics including:The Happiness lieThe narrative of TraumaRelationships are everything

This week I'm getting honest about being in my own season of crisis and what it's teaching me about the fawn response, that fourth survival instinct after fight, flight, and freeze. If you've ever walked on eggshells with your teen or someone else you love, or have struggled to hold a boundary because you're scared of losing the relationship, this one's for you. I share the Adlerian roots of people-pleasing and a grounding practice called Think Tree to help you come home to yourself. Press play. Find more info and show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-663-moving-through-crisis-without-losing-yourself/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With his signature humour and relatable storytelling, Dr Dan Dalton discusses the important concepts of winning a child's cooperation rather than forcing their obedience. He reminds us of psychologists Alfred Adler's and Rudolf Dreikurs' major concerns for social equality in all human relations, including children. We also discuss how the counselling tool of asking parents to review a day in the life of the family as a way to discover dynamics at play. Dr Dalton also explains the 4 levels of discouragement and using parental emotions as the diagnostic clue to the purposiveness of the child's behaviour. You can find Adlerian counselling services at Dalton and Associates here. Other Adlerian organizations we mentioned were: NASAP ICASSI IAIPAdler Graduate School **********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I'll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is a deep dive into the tension between active progress and psychological introspection, sparked by tech mogul Marc Andreessen's viral dismissal of self-reflection. The conversation explores whether our modern obsession with "feelings" is actually a roadblock to the very well-being we seek. The Core Tension: Building vs. Navel-Gazing - Progress as the Ultimate Healer: The speakers argue that "progress solves all problems" and that mental health is often an output of achievement rather than an input you can manufacture through therapy alone. - The Problem of Abundance: In survival mode, humans don't have time for introspection; the "crisis of well-being" may be a byproduct of an abundant society that has too much time to over-examine itself. - The "Adlerian" View: Referencing Alfred Adler, the discussion suggests that much of what we call introspection is actually a sophisticated form of avoidance used to justify neurotic behavior rather than changing it. Key Perspectives - Motivation: It is a result of winning or making progress, not something you sit around waiting to feel before you start. - Failure: Success is defined as moving from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm; introspection after failure can lead to "stasis". - Meta-cognition: The participants distinguish between "navel-gazing" (bad) and being aware of one's thoughts to improve future performance (good). - Resilience: Hard times create strong people through action and "getting on with it," whereas excessive reflection can lead to fragility. The Outcome: The speakers don't entirely write off self-reflection, but they insist it must be in service of progress. As they put it, "Stasis is death; progress is life," and any introspection that doesn't lead to a better version of yourself or a better outcome is essentially a waste of time.Would you like me to expand on the "Adlerian demolition" concept mentioned in the talk or perhaps summarize the specific points made about how school results affect well-being?

You've been building your life on soil you never tested, wondering why everything you plant keeps dying. The career that should have fulfilled you, the marriage that should have been easy by now, the faith that should feel deeper. It's not the seed—it's the soil.In Episode 5 of Shifts and Ladders, Rion Robinson kicks off a new four-part series focused on rebuilding. Moving from recognizing fragmentation to actively pursuing integration requires excavation. Rion dives into the biblical wisdom of Jeremiah 17 and Matthew 7 to explain why true wholeness cannot be built on top of unhealed wounds. He shares his own story of realizing his ambition was driven by pain rather than purpose, and provides two highly practical tools to help you examine your own foundation.Key Takeaways:•The Problem Beneath the Problem: Most leaders try to solve Layer 1 and Layer 2 problems (like time management or delegation) when the real issue is a Layer 5 wound.•The Deception of the Sand House: In good weather, a house built on sand looks identical to a house built on rock. It is only under pressure that the foundation is revealed.•The Five Why Questions: A practical framework to dig past surface-level symptoms and uncover the root cause of recurring negative patterns in your life.•The Soil Test: An exercise to evaluate the five domains of your life (work, home, faith, health, community) to determine if your ambition is rooted in purpose or pain.Chapters / Timestamps:•[0:00] Cold Open: Building on soil you never tested•[0:50] The Problem Beneath the Problem (Jeremiah 17)•[2:30] The Five Why Questions: Getting to the root cause•[4:00] Rion's Story: Driven by a wound, not a vision•[5:30] The Parable of the Builders (Matthew 7)•[8:00] The Integration Piece: Clean water through contaminated pipes•[9:30] Tool 1: The Five Why Questions (Personal Edition)•[12:00] Tool 2: The Soil Test•[14:00] Your Weekly Challenge & Closing ThoughtsStop performing and start becoming whole. Take the Fragmentation Assessment today to see exactly where you stand: [Here]About the Host:Rion Robinson is a Change Management Consultant, founder of Integrated Co., and the creator of The Integration Protocol™. He helps "Fragmented Achievers"—high-performing leaders who are externally successful but internally fragmented—find true wholeness by integrating Lean Six Sigma, Adlerian psychology, Internal Family Systems, and biblical wisdom.If you found value in today's episode, please subscribe to Shifts and Ladders on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite listening platform. Leaving a review helps other high-performers find the show and begin their journey toward integration.

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with psychotherapist and Positive Discipline expert Alyson Schafer to explore how we can support our teens through today's turbulent political climate. We discuss Alfred Adler's vision for raising cooperative citizens, reading our kids' stress signals, using curiosity over lectures, and helping teens move from doom-scrolling to meaningful action. If you're struggling to hold space for your teen's big feelings about current events while maintaining hope for the future, this episode is essential listening. Guest Bio: Alyson Schafer is a psychotherapist, bestselling author, and one of the leading voices in Positive Discipline and Adlerian psychology. She has written multiple books including Breaking the Good Mom Myth and Ain't Misbehavin', and her work has helped families worldwide move from power struggles to cooperation. Alyson hosts her own podcast and runs child guidance programs rooted in democratic parenting principles. She lives in Canada and continues the legacy of Adlerian psychology through her international community work. For more show notes and info at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/politics-and-parenting-with-alyson-schafer/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is stand alone content by Chris. Something I am doing on youtube, and decided to put them together here for you as well. Instead of  daily drops like I do there. I am putting it here in quarters. This episode series breaks down the first four principles of Miyamoto Musashi's Dokkōdō and translates them into practical guidance for modern men seeking self mastery, emotional regulation, and leadership in their homes and relationships. Through a grounded and direct lens, these principles explore detachment from unhealthy desire, acceptance of reality, freedom from dependence on pleasure or comfort, and humility in perception. This breakdown connects ancient Stoic and Zen philosophy with modern psychology, Adlerian responsibility, and personal accountability, helping listeners understand how internal discipline shapes external outcomes. If you are searching for content on Musashi, the Dokkōdō, masculine growth, self control, or emotional resilience, this episode offers a clear and applicable framework. The first four principles of the Dokkōdō are presented not as abstract philosophy, but as lived standards that expose ego, victim thinking, and reactive behavior. This podcast episode examines how attachment fuels suffering, how resistance to reality creates chaos, and how unchecked desire weakens leadership in marriage, fatherhood, and purpose. By tying Musashi's teachings to journaling, self reflection, and daily decision making, this breakdown challenges men to own their interpretations and take responsibility for their results. Ideal for listeners interested in personal growth, men's work, discipline, and timeless wisdom applied to modern life, this episode serves as both a mirror and a call to action.Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.

Are you a perfectionist? Are you worried your child might be too? In this episode, I chat with two fellow Adlerian counsellors who have co-authored a book to help. We discussed the definition of perfectionism, why it originates, some of the various signs you might watch for, as well as the impacts perfectionism has. You can purchase their book, “Living Well With Perfectionism” here.And, here's where to follow them on their social sites.Caroline Faifman:www.thebaycounselinggroup.comwww.styleoflifecounseling.comIG @styeoflife_counselingLindsay Turner: LinkedIn liturner227IG @reimaginelifetoday **********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I'll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I recorded this for our Patreon. I have received a lot of positive feed back on this. So I am sharing it publicly. I hope you enjoy it. In this podcast, you'll learn the first Hermetic Principle, Mentalism, and how your mind shapes your lived reality through the meanings you assign, the attention you rehearse, and the actions you take. Chris breaks down how “raw data becomes a story, the story creates emotion, emotion pressures action, and action creates consequences,” then ties it directly to Adlerian psychology, mindset training, and practical personal responsibility. If you're into Hermetic Principles, manifestation with backbone, mental discipline, and self mastery that actually changes behavior, this episode gives you a clear framework to stop confusing interpretation with reality and start steering outcomes on purpose.You can expect concrete tools you can use immediately in relationships, work, and daily life, including widening the gap between stimulus and response, generating three plausible meanings before you react, and running an “attention audit” so you stop feeding resentment loops, doomscrolling, and negative self talk. Chris also shares a relationship repair line that turns accusation into curiosity, plus a simple morning and night practice to train your mental filter and build evidence based confidence. This is for anyone who wants stronger emotional regulation, cleaner communication, better relationships, and a spiritual lens that stays grounded in standards, values, and real world results.Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.

Calvin Armerding is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor based in South Carolina, specializing in Adlerian psychology. He regularly leads workshops, offers retreats, and gives keynotes on topics such as grief, couples counseling, and trauma. His recent work explores trauma as what Alfred Adler described as an “exogenous factor” — an external event that collides with an individual's internal narrative, purpose, and movement.Calvin teaches a model that integrates trauma with Adlerian lifestyle investigation, framing trauma not as a fixed, defining event but as a disruption that can reveal or amplify a client's core convictions, compensations, and private logic. This approach helps both clinicians and clients reconnect with agency, courage, and belonging without minimizing pain or pathologizing symptoms.  In This EpisodeCalvin's websiteBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa———If you'd like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.Thank you to our Sponsors:Incogni - Use code [traumatherapist] and get 60% off annual plans: https://incogni.com/traumatherapistJane App - use code GUY1MO at https://jane.app/book_a_demoJourney Clinical - visit https://join.journeyclinical/trauma for 1 month off your membershipTherapy Wisdom - https://therapywisdom.com/jan/

Michael Stroe (@Plus3Happiness) is a phenomenologist and “happiness concierge.” Through a combination of the Buddhist Fetters & somatic practices, he's allegedly reduced his suffering by ~90%. He claims to consistently live at 9/10 life satisfaction and has skillfully guided others into similar transformations. Today we demystify his journey and discuss concrete practices for oneshotting procrastination, reducing reactivity and permanently raising the floor of your happiness (seriously).Watch on YouTube:Transcript — Michael Stroe​[00:00:00] Daniel Kazandjian: Michael Stroe, welcome to the Metagame.Michael Stroe: Well, thank you for having me. How you doing?Daniel Kazandjian: I'm doing great. I'm really excited for this conversation. You famously, through a combination of Buddhist practices and somatic practices reduced your suffering by around 90%, whichMichael Stroe: Even more these days.Daniel Kazandjian: And now you're teaching other people how to do that, which is fantastic. How did you figure that out? Like what, what's the story there?Michael Stroe: As many great things happened by mistake, it's a total mistake. I was on a more or less sabbatical in like 2023 in Barcelona. Uh, not in a great place in life, honestly.Daniel Kazandjian: Hmm.Michael Stroe: and towards the end of the trip, someone actually, someone that, someone being Frank Yang, which you might be familiar with,Daniel Kazandjian: Mm-hmm.[00:01:00] Michael Stroe: Shared, Kevin Schanilec's website, which I've messaged, and he was very succinct as like, “try Liberation Unleashed” being a Liberation Unleashed being this forum for, for these practicesDaniel Kazandjian: Can you say that again? LiberationMichael Stroe: unleashed. Yes,Daniel Kazandjian: Unleashed. Yeah.Michael Stroe: Yes. And very quickly realize that the way they're doing it is one practice at a time and it's months of work. My ADHD Mind, uh, was like, yeah, but what if we do everything all at once? Um, instead of doing one practice at a time, I basically did eight of them daily for a couple of hours.'cause that's how you do it. Uh, in a bunch of days I had a perceptual shift, which was very interesting, and a bit of a honeymoon for like two days. Uh, that was something that I found funny that um, some people speak of these, uh, awakenings or whatever in terms of like, oh, months of bliss. And I just had two days and on the second day I was in an airport delayed for like five hours, which I was chill about.[00:02:00] But that wasn't necessarily like, whoa, I'm so alive. They're like, yeah, that's not happening. It was a bit better than usual. That perception shift coincided with a bit of a, what should I put it? Less? Uh, stress, let's call it initially. ‘cause I didn't know what was happening. Just less stress, less, uh, overthinking, less, chatter.And actually one of the, one of the few things that I found really interesting somehow coincided with great sleep. I don't know how to explain it seconds to sleep.Daniel Kazandjian: Wow.Michael Stroe: I found it very interesting because I used to get like one hour, two hours, three hours to get to sleep. And I just have ideas and sit in bed for just 30 seconds. I was out and I'm like, okay, this is an interesting benefit. Not gonna lie. Uh, I don't even care about all these benefits, I'm sleeping. Like that's, that's enough. And from then on I sort of returned to simply the scene, the, the initial website where I was guided, uh, to Liberation Unleashed.And I've done the practices on attachment and version. Okay.[00:03:00] And I should mention that immediately after stream entry, which would be the first shift that I had where it kind of, you notice that there's just the body mind, there's no little guy driving this, uh, body around. Um, you start to be aware of the fact that you kind of don't like a lot of the things that are happening.You're trying to pull out experience to such an extent. And, I had 10, 15 years of anxiety and other things on and off. Um, when I started looking at them, uh, I sort of noticed that I had a sort of a version towards so many things even after the first shift in like two more weeks had another one where, oh, like I, my, my, like that was the point where anxiety got reduced both in size and intensity and that was a big deal, even more of a big deal than the first one. ‘cause the first one is, like I said, it was nice, I was sleeping better, but also realizing how much you hate your experience,[00:04:00] let's call it, put it into a certain perspective and realize that from whatever anxiety I used to have or whatever intensity, it went down by like 60, 70%, at least in duration.Michael Stroe: One of the things I've noticed is actually, I used to have anxiety for days and weeks at a time about some stupid thing, or in general, like a generalized anxiety. And I realized that I couldn't. Get anxiety going for more than 30 minutes. As in, if someone distracted me, I forgot I had anxiety, and I'm like, huh, don't understand what's happening.Why do you mean like, I forgot I had anxiety. What do you mean? Like that makes no sense. And sort of like this continued, uh, after a bunch, uh, more time, a few other shifts, but this one especially, were like, oh, there's a dare there. Which for me, there were years of trying self-development, failing at meditation, um, or is nothing working actually.You sort of like, you do all these self-development things.[00:05:00] You, you're gonna do your finances and orders, like you're not happy. You're gonna get a great job, not happily encouraged to do these things. It's like, okay, but like what works? Um, and I had a notion that there's a debt there, but I didn't have a notion about what's possible.It's sort of like more of a faith, even though I'm not religious, more of a fate that it's possible. I didn'tDaniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: I feel like maybe some of the people that I was following were somewhat trustworthy in this sense.Daniel Kazandjian: So, you just, so to recap, you had 10, 15 years of suffering with like, maybe above average levels of anxiety, is that what you're saying?Michael Stroe: Yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: Were months at a time where I was to be okay. And the, the moments where I was okay were just the moments where I wasn't doing anything. As you know, I was mostly taking sabbaticals, which is not necessarily a great thing in the sense of like, if you're not active in society, you're feeling great.It's like saying, oh, I'm feeling great on vacation, but I hate my job.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So from that, the practices at On Liberation Unleash, the first thing,[00:06:00] Daniel Kazandjian: the thing that allowed you to sleep fast and stuff was, was that stream entry.Michael Stroe: Yes. That would be stream entry. Yeah. AndDaniel Kazandjian: So just,Michael Stroe: Obvious. Yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: Just to bring people on board with that, what is stream entry?Michael Stroe: Stream Entry, if I am to take away from the woo stuff, it's like realizing there's no self, but the problem with realizing there's no self, it's so, uh, abstract, but we, no one, no one know what it means, but it's provocative.But if I'm to be a very mundane phenomenologist, it's just the sense that I'm no longer the little guy in the behind the eyes. I used to call it behind the eyes or behind the, an experience that sort of looks like a watches experience from afar a bit.Daniel Kazandjian: Mm-hmm.Michael Stroe: So realizing that, oh, I guess there's nothing separate from the body, mind world. There's just the body and mind. And my identity is more so that of a witness, uh, not of the tour, let's call it. And it's very simple. Like it's mundane. One of my, uh, most treasured experiences, right? When someone says, uh.[00:07:00] Is it almost disappointing that there is not more there? Because that's what you kind of know. Like, okay, like yeah, they got it. And it's like, of course, like after enlightenment, it's just, just ordinary experience. Um, and yeah, basically just the sense of no longer identifying as the doer. It'sDaniel Kazandjian: Mm-hmm.Michael Stroe: There's no one moving the body mind, just the body mind moving itself. Uh, it doesn't need a do or it's all conditioning. And so,Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: freeing.Daniel Kazandjian: So, so, uh, we might get into more details on this, but what's interesting to me is what you said after that was when you realized that you had a lot of aversion to things.Michael Stroe: Yes.Daniel Kazandjian: So is it that stream entry kind of brought awareness to the suffering that was already, like, you weren't feeling your suffering fully, and then something shifted in terms ofMichael Stroe: Yeah. Um, what happens prior to stream entry? You take all these things as identity. This is mine. Then through stream entry,[00:08:00] You start seeing them as more of an objective, uh, phenomenon or objective processes. Basically what I used to call, uh, um, what I was seeing afterwards as, oh, you know, like some contractions and so on, it used to be like my anxiety, my social, whatever. And it was, it was getting, uh, caught up as identity. And once I was able to see these processes, just those objective processes that I'm able to watch, uh, there is, uh, a subtle detachment. I don't mean detachment in, uh, sort of like going away, but they're actually going towards them.What I'm able to see them for whatever, which is a bunch of thoughts and sensations and that has a very interesting side effect of actually realizing that these are happening, these are conditions and they've been happening for so long. And if beforehand they used to be like, oh, uh, it's me, it's, I'm, I'm bad like this. I'm bad like that. I'm not good enough for whatever. It's like, oh, there's this process. Of these sensations appearing and this story about not being like this or not being like that?[00:09:00] Daniel Kazandjian: Do you have a personal anecdote about that? really illustrates this point?Michael Stroe: Uh, yes, actually, I can tell you how, uh, we, the weakening of a version happened.Daniel Kazandjian: Hmm.Michael Stroe: Uh, there was this particular day I was in my parents' house in the countryside and for some reason, some of my friends, not just one, were not answering my messages. And I used to have anxiety about this thing for, uh, both relationships and of both kinds of friends and, and anyway, about people not responding.And I used to have three friends and it's like they were not answering my messages and I was kind of going in a loop. What did I do? What did I say? Did I say something? And I was just, I had the moment of watching. I was like, okay, there's this weird process. There are some sensations that are kind of like, not pleasant, but I'm going through all these thoughts.And what happens is that I'm making it worse, but what is this? I was like, there are some sensations I had the moment. The sensations are not that bad. And also, I don't know how I'm making this. Like they're just here.[00:10:00] And that was the moment, like, oh yeah. It's like, why, why am I, what, why am I doing this to myself? And I was moments like, ah, yeah, it's okay. Oh, it's like, I best I'm gonna like if, if this is how bad it feels not to, uh, receive, uh, attention or whatever it was at the time. Like, I don't even remember fully what I was like, it's not that bad. was like, huh. A bit of like, oh, this is no big deal.Yeah. I can just go about my day. Like, I thought it was gonna be worse. The anticipation of this being so bad was what I was amplifying but the sensation themselves was like some amount of contraction in the stomach area. Like, uh, one out of 10. Not a big deal.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah, so it's almost that there, the raw sensation itself is relatively benign, but then there's some sort of mental content, some story at adding to it.Michael Stroe: Yeah. The mental tension. Like a rat, like basically a rat in a cage.[00:11:00] Michael Stroe: Um, and going through all these stories, going through all these machinations in order to, and this is very important in order to seemingly try to change the sensation, like what should I say for this person to respond to me?Michael Stroe: And then it dawned on me that actually I was not trying to have them respond. I didn't think it was gonna sound bad, but also I didn't necessarily care about them responding. I actually cared about me not having the sensations. And this is one thing that I usually show to people, which is like, if this sensation would be the same, but you were happy, you wouldn't care about the sensation.If you were content with how things are. Whatever happens, happens, you can still be pretty, pretty okay with it. But the problem for me was not the situation, which is like all these people not responding to my messages, like the, the, the anxiety or the amplification was just happening. It's like, I just don't like how I feel right now.I hate this and probably this is the reason why. It's like, is this the reason why it's like, not just some conditioning there. But Yeah.[00:12:00] Daniel Kazandjian: And so what were the practices that allowed you to create a little bit of distance with those sensations and stories?Michael Stroe: I think at, at, at the time I didn't necessarily like I had the materials, right, but the materials were something like, oh, notice in this moment that what you're trying is to look for some other reality than the one you have. Basically that moment I had these people that were not responding to my messages, and the thing that I was was like, oh, I don't have a reality where they're responding to my messages.In current practice, I would frame it like, oh, I didn't get a response from my friends. It's like, oh, I'm looking for this reality somehow. It feels differently and things are different. So it's like, not necessarily that I wanted things to be different, I wanted to feel differently. Oh, I don't have friends that respond to my message quickly.So like, sure. I guess.But when, when, when we were seeing that actually the practice was just seeing things and just feeling a bit to it, it's not a big deal.[00:13:00] And definitely, my practice was a bit different from the one I, uh, show to people right now. Uh, at the time I was doing more inside Heavy, which would be staying that mental tension and seeing that it's just a sensation that we can do something about it.Right now. I ask people to do both that, but also like just sitting with a so-called pain and letting it dissipate.For me it was just sitting in that tension. It's like, okay, I'm sitting in that tension. So what? And it's like, okay, it's not that pleasant, but also. There's no other reality available.There's no other Michael. Sometimes I, I, when I see people being stuck in, it's like, what is your quantum duplicate that somehow has some other sensation? They're not. It's like, okay, so I guess this is what you have right now. Is it that bad? And sometimes I make these weird analogies, which is like, imagine you've hit your leg very badly in the furniture.Would you trade these sensations for those sensations? Like, no, you go. Then sit with these ones. Maybe you appreciate them more,[00:14:00] Daniel Kazandjian: Hmm. Um, I wanna get back to your story, but one thing I'll, I'll, highlight is what your practice wasn't. It wasn't trying to understand why you happen to be so sensitive to people texting you and it, and like going into the deeper reasoning for your emotions. It wasn't that at all. It was focusing on the sensations themselves.Michael Stroe: Yeah. And what I found is there are cases where the, let's say the story unbundling, which I would call it, is helpful.For the sake of reducing suffering, there is minimal need for that. You need to see that the story is a story, which is a bunch of thoughts, and the sensations are conditioned, arising and the like.The impression is that, oh, this anxiety, for example, right now for me, it's happening because of what's happening. But the reality, no, it's happening because all the baggage from the back, all my priors that are being, uh, involved in this particular situations, out of which, let's call it this gate out, which, the anxiety comes up is through this situation,[00:15:00] it's actually the baggage that's to blame, let's say for this. One of the things I usually do, um, lately is, uh, to ask people to, okay, has some meaning, whatever story, right? My story, I was like, there's meaning, and my friends are not pointing my messages. Okay, why is there more meaning to that particular thought compared to my body? 70% water?It's like. Uh, somehow one is more meaningful than the other, but they're both, let's say language markers.They're both tokens and somehow one has more meaning than the other. It's like, is it the meaning or they're just both neutral, but the charge is just because of the conditioning and it helps a bit putting on the per circuit. Like you have two stories or you have two sentences. is charged, one is not charged.It's like, how exactly is the story charged experience wise? What exactly is the charge? Oh, some sensations. Yes. So it's not the story. And through just sitting with them, they eventually were like, oh, I guess the story.[00:16:00] It was the sensations that I was resisting.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah. maybe it'd be worth spelling this out a little bit more. It's like there's a storyMichael Stroe: Yes.Daniel Kazandjian: And then there's a sensory experience in the body, like some, some knot in your gut or something like that, or like a buzzing sensation somewhere. And then those two things are very tightly coupled or correlated. And so the story itself feels charged.What's the process of disentangling those two things?Michael Stroe: Well, the first step is usually to take away from the story as in, oh, this thing happened, this thing happened, this thing happens. It's like, okay, all those things happen, but what's happening right now? It's like me, I'm looking for some other reality in the one available. It's like, okay, um, I don't have this reality that I'm looking for where this other thing happened.So it's like, okay, in this moment, right now, what you have, uh, this sensory reality and some thoughts, it's like, okay, that brings you a bit further, into the present, right? So it's like, okay, you make a sentence,[00:17:00] and that sentence is almost like a summary of what happened, but in a very factual way.Right. Like very factual. It's like they didn't say this, okay, so I don't have this experience where I'm looking, I'm looking for them to be different. The next step would be putting the sensations into perspective. And actually that's a very big one.of the things that I notice is if I ask someone, which I have a lot of track questions during my inquiries, I, I need to mention that, uh, I usually ask them, it's like, okay, on a scale of one to 10, how bad are these sensations?And I've gotten some weird responses for some very meaningless situations. Like this email being an eight out of 10, right? Um, it's like, okay, that like an eight out of 10, an email, like he, that torture, that torture level pain, right? So if you ask people, uh, in, in that way, they're gonna, um, compare it with the ideal, how they would prefer to feel in this moment.So it's like, okay, okay, put it in a bit of a perspective, like compared to some actual pain, which is a breaking leg, I think breaking leg is the one I use most often.It's painful enough. And if you try to imagine it's like.[00:18:00] That would be a bad one. It's like compared to breaking a leg, how bad is this pain?It's like, okay, it's one or two. It's like, oh, now we got some perspective. Now we got a foothold to just sit with the sensations. Right? And, and going through these a few steps, uh, you've basically taken away from the story. You've reduced it to something, you are looking for some other reality, and then you have the intensity dropping a bit.Quite a bit actually. And then the last thing is like, okay, I want you to see with the sensation, it's called being called staying in the gap. And what I mean by staying in the gap, it's you tone descendants. I didn't get the response from my friends, right? Some sensations are appearing and being in the gap.It means seeing with those sensations until the thoughts that are happening, the thoughts that are happening somehow it seems. They can, uh, act upon these sensations somehow seem to be about these sensations. And the more you stay in the gap with a sensation, with thoughts,[00:19:00] eventually it's such a, uh, a long time between the sensations appearing and the thoughts that it's like this couldn't be connected.Michael Stroe: It's there's no way that these, there's a way for, for these sensations to be changed by this thought that happened a minute later. Like there's no way of causality in such a way. So it's like,Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: There's two channels. You have the channel of the thoughts, you have the channel of sensation, and it might seem initially that they're glued somehow, but then it becomes, uh, obvious that no, the sensations are conditioned in a certain way.The thoughts are conditioned a certain way, but there is no, uh, uh, glue in between. There is almost one of the metaphors I use lately actually, the, the channel of sensation is the basketball game the channel of, uh, thoughts or stories is the sports commentary. No amount of sports commentary will change the basketball game.Whoever is your favorite basketball player, whether it's LeBron or whatever, it doesn't even matter. It's like he's not gonna suddenly start shooting trees just because the sports come. It's like, oh, you're shooting wrong. It's like, yeah, that's not gonna happen.[00:20:00] And it's a bit of a, of a more immediate, um, metaphor that it's helped is like, oh, I'm trying to change the game by just commenting on it.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah, yeah, I love that image. Um, you used the word, uh, conditioning a few times, so like, because of conditioning, there's the glue between the sensations and the thoughts and the stories. How, what do you mean by conditioning here? How does that process work?Michael Stroe: Yeah. By conditioning, I mean all the situations and experiences that have left an imprint on the body mind, they've made a, they made a dent, whether it's in personality, whether it's even in the body. We have a discussion sometimes about VA computation, like.The body does keep the score right. and that conditioning is basically everything you would, uh, actually both, uh, uh, positive and negative. You can have positive conditioning, right? Uh, both, uh, pleasant and negative experiences that make a mark in that condition.[00:21:00] Future experiences based on prior experiences. If you wanna use priors, because we're more in rational spaces, we can use priors, but I'm mostly speaking about the priors at the level of, uh, memories oftentimes and bodily, uh, contractions.Michael Stroe: That's what we use mostly for this.Daniel Kazandjian: So is that like, let's say when I'm younger and I have less awareness,Michael Stroe: Yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: Something happens to me, you know, maybe I feel a sense of social rejection, um, because I don't know, the girl I like didn't text me back or something like that. And then it prompts a really big physiological response that I know.Michael Stroe: Yes.Daniel Kazandjian: Correlate with the story of like, girls not texting me back, and then that's conditioning. That's like the prior.Michael Stroe: Yes. That's basically the pairing of some sensations with some stories.Daniel Kazandjian: Mm-hmm.Michael Stroe: Often, whether the stories can be like a visual memory. Like myself in that situation where I used to feel this way, and it's like, oh, when that happens,[00:22:00] this is, uh, this is the thing. And, and also like when I have that, those pairings, those pairings actually create a certain amount of one unidimensional response.When I feel the sensations, I need to double text them or I need to say, I need to say, I need to say something. I need to say something to them. Right. Um, there is a sense where the degree of freedom is being traded for, uh. A sense of apparent control, right. In that case, uh, the one we mentioned for like, uh, not receiving a message.When I, when this happens, then I do this. But by having, just when a then BI have a degree of conditioning or a degree of conditional, uh, response that actually prevents me from seeing there are maybe 10 other options. And that tends to shrink our personal freedom to such an extent that we often don't realize that we're doing it.[00:23:00] Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah. So let's come back to your story. You got, you got the stream entry. Then you start to recognize the conditioning and all the ways in which you had aversion to your experience. What happened after that?Michael Stroe: Um, I found a guide, a lovely lady in Italy that was recommended to me by some other guide in fairs. She had some availability and we started working together and I started working on the big issues. Right now, when I work with people, I think I work a bit differently.We used to work, we used to work directly with big stuff. One of the big things I had the most directly, which was something like some past relationship thing, and then I started working with a bunch of them. But the reality is, looking back, like I had a certain degree of buy into the processWhen I used to guide the same way with folks that weren't necessarily as bought in or[00:24:00] believing in the process, I can say I had like 25 to 30 people quit after the first month because, um, instead of having more of an upstream, slowly gliding your way to more wellbeing, it's more abrupt. It's like you, you have reactivity that happens in two stages, weakening and breaking.With two big issues, you're gonna have the weakening and then the breaking. But if you don't go with the biggest ones and you just go with. You, you can, you can have more of a smoother path.Okay, what's the biggest thing I can think of? Like, oh, there's this, uh, memory from a relationship. And because I have this memory, I won't have happy relationships in the future. Right.And to work with this, and I can definitely tell you that between getting a weakening of reactivity or a version by myself and dropping, it's been like a month and a half where I cannot necessarily say that was progress.And I, uh, at the level of pedagogy,[00:25:00] I found that actually to be a big issue because I was crazy enough to believe because I got the benefits fast, let's say, and I was on my own. So it's always easy to believe in the process, but I can definitely understand someone being like, I wanna stop.So, and then in another month and a half, um, I kept working with bigger and bigger things. Right now, I, sorry, I separate things and things. Keeping you up at night, which is like immediate short term things that are causing suffering at the moment. And then the next one would be, uh, big goals and desires.The second category. And by starting to work with Maria, I was already working on the big stuff, which is not necessarily ideal if I'm gonna be honest. I don't have the emotional capacity right now. I feel that I end up in a point where I actually help people build the emotional capacity as we're dropping a version.Otherwise it can feel very jarring and that can make people not want to keep the process until finished. Right.[00:26:00] I'd say like a month and a half, beginning of December, 2023, I started noticing that things were kind of like, uh, water of a duck spec. That's what I would call it. Things were smoother. That was kind of where I started noticing. I kinda cannot say, and this is so like a bigger discussion, but. I cannot say I have bad days. A version basically is this mental chaining, uh, of some pain that happened and, and keeping it with you during the entirety of your day, even though it was like two minutes or five minutes of unpleasant sensation.So when that no longer happens, a version by the way, dropping a version is called dropping into non-conceptual. That's basically when you drop the associated between, uh, stories and sensations. And once that, that was dropped, it's like, yeah, you can still feel pain, you can still feel unpleasant sensation, but you're no longer chained as your day goes on into a big feeling that basically colors the entirety of your 24 hours.[00:27:00] And that was the last, so like the, the last days where I've noticed, uh, bad days. So I cannot say that I have had bad days since then. Okay. I hadDaniel Kazandjian: Wow.Michael Stroe: unpleasant situations for a few hours or whatever, but the amount of pain was actually low and there was no suffering. Even once, like, I had someone, like almost lost a friend a bunch of months ago, and there was crying, there was pain. There was no way of me imagining that there are some other sensations available and I fell through it. I cry. Uh, just what seemed natural there was necessarily suffering or resistance and it's, it's also a very point to be, it's not relatable.I cannot explain it for it to make sense. If someone doesn't have it almost seems like I'm trying to sell someone on these. Grant benefit, uh, uh, by now, uh, where it's like, oh, it's so amazing. It's like drugs.[00:28:00] It's like, it is amazing, but also it makes no sense how this could, uh, be experienced. Right?And then when that happened in a few more weeks, I dropped into non duality again. It is a very fast process. I think there is a certain extent to which all these shifts are happening fast when someone really wants it. And I know that the Buddhist say desire is the root of all suffering, but that's a mistranslation.Was the root of suffering. And that's a different, more moment to moment, uh, thing. being open, it's like, yeah, I really want, this has led to very fast progress. And I think actually, um, suffering wise, actually this one actually made the most, uh, difference just dropping a version. I used to have so much of it.It's to color my days to such an extent, days, months, years, whatever you wanna call it, that once it drop, it's like, okay, yeah, I did not expect this was possible.[00:29:00] It's easy to say that it's not possible or there could not be something like this. Okay. It's not perfect, but it's amazing. It's sort of like, that's how I would call it. No, it's amazing. And, and luckily right now, I, I, I feel like I'm not speaking from a standpoint of just me at, with her, there are a bunch of friends, some of them that you already know that have gotten the same experience and they have the same experience or like, no, it's pretty great.Michael Stroe: No,Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah,Michael Stroe: great. Yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: I know you, you also tried to make this a little more legible for people by like mapping it on to commonplace positive experiences.Michael Stroe: Yes.Daniel Kazandjian: You know, and I know it's a totally imperfect process or whatever, but it gives people a sense.Michael Stroe: Yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: maybe you can tell the listeners that, like how different stages mapped onto like the, these commonplace positive experiences.Michael Stroe: I was trying to do this with a friend a bunch of times ago because I was thinking,[00:30:00] what's the marginal value of the next dollar? But actually it was more so what's the marginal value of the next million dollars? It's like, what do you even buy with a bunch of money that gives you happiness? I put my own happiness into, okay, what would I trade this for?And it's for, for as much as it's gonna sound, it's farfetched, I would say, like, I don't know, tens of millions to be like, you have no physical worries for the rest of your life. You would still end up in the place where you're pursuing this.It's already that good. Like there's no convincing. Like I would rather take my pain from years ago just to have it. Yes. So the first, the first steps, treatment three, first one to three. I've humorously, uh, called it getting a free sandwich daily. Um, which is okay. It's nice. Like there are some days when, when a sandwich can, can make you feel a bit better.Uh, it's, it's nice. Um, you got a sandwich, you have a bit of a brighter day, right? There are days where a sandwich does not do anything.[00:31:00] I'm gonna throw that off, right? Uh, and I'll be experimenting, weakening. Um, it's a bit of a, a bit, uh, higher and I would call it almost like having a very relaxing massage daily, right?And it's great. Like you go to have a massage, it's great. You, you are relaxed now, you enjoy your day more. Maybe you are smiling more. It can make most days a bit, uh, sunny, right? also like when, some really bad things are happening and massage probably won't be enough. And there are certain categories of things where.A massage won't do anything like, you know, loss and so on. Um, but the real, the real, uh, thing happens with the dropping of reactivity. And the reason why I call that, um, basically, um, being in a, a, a pretty good vacation all the time is because you no longer want or expect to always feel good.[00:32:00] But that has the interesting side effect of making most days pretty amazing. Dropping reactivity or no longer, like I know, don't want to feel good all the time. And because I don't necessarily want or try to feel good all the time, I'm actually feeling good most of the time.It was the suffering or other, the resistance to those few moments. We were feeling some pain that was coloring all these other moments negatively, let's call it.But when you no longer want that, it does feel pretty, uh, vacay vibes, uh, it's okay. I'm on vacation most days. I don't necessarily need to be somewhere, I don't necessarily need to have a fancy dinner. A lot, a lot of what humans imagine they would feel during a vacation where they're away from work.You can have here and now with work, with life, with all these, uh, trappings of daily life, and it's pretty amazing. And that would be what we spoke so far, which is the trapping already. [00:33:00] And there's a bit of a, there's technically two more steps, but I usually, I only, uh, speak about the first, uh, uh, one, uh, in this, in this, uh, next, uh, in next year row, which is like the fourth, uh, range, I would call it, uh, dropping form and formlessness.And for those that are familiar with Buddhist, uh, terminology, that would be non-duality. And “I-ness”. I-ness probably it's a bit less, uh, common, but no is very obvious. uh, or getting into no. Minus the stories that, uh, were all one and so on. it's a, it's a small, actually a small gain in, in pleasure.You have more of a sense of connection with everything or everyone. You no longer have the sense of things or people being distant from you. You have the sense that you're in one world simulation, which is interesting, but I found it compared to not having a version not as consequential.[00:34:00] I have expected, based on how all the spiritual people are selling nonduality to feel amazing, connected. It's like you do feel connected or actually it's more correctly framed, disconnected. Like, I'm not, we are not all one necessarily, which is like, uh, further inside it's like, okay, we're all in one.It's like we're close by distance is an illusion. Pretty great. Pretty great, right? But in terms of suffering reduction, I would've expected it to be more, but it was like 5%. A cool 5%, right? But not what I expected and this wouldDaniel Kazandjian: You're like, disappointed.Michael Stroe: I'm gonna be honest a bit, a bit.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: I would've expected more people to have sold it to me as this grant thing where everything is amazing. It wasn't necessarily, and this would correspond with the third six, right?And I actually feel that third seven is more impactful, which would be “I-am-ness” consciousness and so on. Uh, the reason why this one actually was, um, profound, I would start with the sense of time.[00:35:00] Sense of time kind of goes away and you realize there were a bunch of sensations and thoughts. When that happens, you have to be a bit more clumsy with your appointments. I'm gonna give people that warning.That's gonna happen, but you no longer have the time pressure. I need you to do this, I need to do that. If you heard people speak about timelessness or the experience of timelessness, this is basically what they were speaking of just now. Just now, just now. And it's pretty amazing. That's just one aspect.The second aspect that I've seen, um, this actually has to do with, um, almost, um, dropping the notion that somehow things are existing in opposites. Where it's like, in this case, it's ugly and beautiful you're dropping the opposites as real categories when, when the opposites seem to be integrated as neither this nor that, neither ugly nor beautiful.I found that everything is more beautiful.[00:36:00] Very few people will be able to relate to this, but there was a joke going around on Twitter a bunch of time ago, which is like, Would you rather get plus three to your own, uh, beauty, or would you give plus three to everyone?And this is in a way giving plus three to everyone's beauty. course, beauty being in the eye of the beholder, uh, but everything from a wall to a flower to whatever you want to tends to become way more, uh, beautiful by, um, via negative, which is no longer saying, saying it's mundane or, uh, boring or whatever you would project upon it.That cancellation of the extremes makes it way more likely that everything is like, has a certain beauty, has a certain vividness to it, that I. I actually wasn't told that it's gonna happen. Uh, but I found it very, very obvious and I'm sometimes, uh, I'm, I'm being caught in, in the metro and[00:37:00] I'm just looking at people with a certain fascination regardless of how they're looking or whatever their gender is, because there is a sense of, wow, look at all these ways that the reality is happening.All these ways that, uh, things have manifested, right.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: And I guess, uh, the last one, which is very interesting and some might relate it, um, is no longer making things out of images. Here's what I mean. You're looking around the room or you're looking around something. You're noticing, let's say, uh, a basket.The mind or the brain is like, oh, that's a basket. It makes a thing almost like the image that you would see it and gives it a thinness, uh, substantiality. When you just take things as they are, it's an image or if you want to interact with it you can go touch it and so on. But when you compulsively make it a thing, the mental chatter drops a lot.[00:38:00] Michael Stroe: I used to have problems where I used to work in advertising, like outdoor advertisements and I was like Coca-Cola, and it's like, oh, I like, like all these, uh, ads I used to see in the brain were automatically naming them. That goes down because okay, I'm seeing an image, but I don't necessarily need to make it a substantial thing.That drops a lot of the mental chat and also like the compulsiveness of interacting with the world. Um, the benefit of this mostly is that life tends to become very movie-like at this point. When you no longer imagine that things have very distinct boundaries and everything becomes more fluid in that sense, you no longer have the image, the, the, the image that somehow you are outside of the world somehow.You, you, it's one big singularity, if you wanna call it. Um, that tends to make things very easy to move around. If you ever heard, and this is a bit of a, I'm not sure I would give it a trigger or warning,[00:39:00] but I would be mindful that sometimes when in Buddhist, a lot of people know this, know that they're actually very dumb ways of giving insight. For example, if you heard that there is no body, that's one of the dumbest ways of framing it.The actual framing would be the body arises together with everything else. And that wouldn't necessarily give people any type of, uh. Scaries. It's like, oh, okay. So the body is just part of the Raja. And the sense of the body as a thing, as a monolith was just the brain taking a bunch of this junk, uh, sensation and constructing a mental model of what the body would look like.With the seven photos, you no longer need to construct a body as a monolith. You just take sensations as different pings. I used to call it the same way that rain drops. That's how you feel. You no need to hold the frame of there is a body in, in a very, um, uh, experiential way or like one big block of stone.[00:40:00] Have this, the sensations, the body's still there, the organ is still there. You no longer hold the concept of it being a monolith and that I've actually found very relaxing and super easy to do, uh, hard things, physical hard things, or go without sleep for a long time because the body seems to be way, uh, way easier.To process. It's like, oh, there is some unpleasant sensation from tiredness. Okay. Like, it's not that the whole body is tired, it's like tiredness, uh, expresses itself as just this one muscle in the back that it's aDaniel Kazandjian: Yeah, yeah.Michael Stroe: You're no longer like, oh, the body is tired. It's like, no, it's just some sensation. It's not pleasant. That's it. So it's easy to bounce back.Daniel Kazandjian: Um, so this reminds me of a meditation prompt. Uh, it's like a direct pointing prompt of just experiencing the body. Just see, see if you can experience the body as a cloud of sensations as opposed to. The, the mental map or like, maybe a simple one that, that I noticed was if someone says, pay attention to your hand, the sensations in your hand,[00:41:00] you might think you're doing that, but then you'll notice that often there's also an image of the hand and like a sense that you're up here and you're looking down at your hand and like there's a bunch of other stuff happening quite habitually that isn't just the raw sensations of the hand and the raw sensations of the hand are something like, like texture and, and heat and tension and like these more, uh, simple constituent elements.And then the same applies for pain. Or I've noticed when I've had issues with chronic pain, if I just do this type of exercise, it just gets deconstructed into a bunch of neutral sensations.Michael Stroe: Yeah. Direct pointers of this nature are very useful because we tend to interact with the word via abstraction or via fabrication.[00:42:00] But once you see, like into the, let's call it, you realize that, oh, it's actually easier to bear. And as you mentioned, there are a lot of these small pointers that you can give someone that make actually a big dent in your experience, uh, especially are of suffering and pain they finally see experience as is not through the conceptual map.And one of the, because you mentioned the one with the conceptual map, one of the things I actually ask people during the stream entry conversation is, uh, can they imagine an actual tactile sensation? Like, okay, let me try to imagine my feet standing on the floor. So it's like, are you really imagining a sensation or are you imagining the mental body map and where it would happen, is like, oh yeah, no, I'm, I'm imagining the mental body map.There's no way for me to. Imagine a sensation the same way. It's like Exactly. So that helps put things into perspective between what's direct sense experience and what's abstract experience. And you can use abstraction.[00:43:00] It's just though you never confuse abstraction, if you want to call it, the abstraction would be context, right? And enlightenment is just untangling more and more of the context of identity or of concepts into the components of, um, what we would call experience, like context and content. Like that's, that's like the more you take, uh, context and make it content, that's the more enlightened you are, if you want.Michael Stroe: Call it like that.Daniel Kazandjian: I wanna see if we can help people on this a little bit. Obviously, you know, reducing your happiness by 90 or reducing your suffering by 90% orMichael Stroe: Yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: Nine outta 10 happiness is like a pretty good sell. But one of the things you've mentioned, and it's also implicit in the stories that you shared, is this idea of freedom. How there's actually just more degrees of freedom around different areas of life.[00:44:00] And so I wonder if you can speak a little bit more about freedom and then some of the other kind of tangible benefits that you've discovered through this journey.Michael Stroe: Yeah. Um, the biggest degree of freedom, I would say, does come from aversion attachment.I used to have this notion that I should make this amount of money by this age, and I would say that's very common for type A. Uh, once I was no longer held by that attachment, I could actually work toward that direction.Well, in the past I used to be very contracted around not having, that would actually mean and turn, uh, into procrastination. And that's a very common experience where it's imagined that procrastination is somehow. An issue of the situation. I don't have this, I don't have that, but most often with the people at work, we end up seeing that procrastination is just an emotional issue.Procrastination being just the resistance to how I'm feeling and most often how I'm feeling is not that bad.Freedom, it turns out, is a very common conversation for me. It's like, if meditation takes away my ambition?[00:45:00] It's like, wouldn't that be bad? It's like, well, let me frame it differently.Uh, if you were to lose some of these things probably you weren't interested in, but you're gonna do way more of the things that you actually want to do. And none of the people that I know have gotten, uh, this far have somehow lost their ambition. They will have families, they're still doing things, they're doing more things.They're no longer imagining that things should look a certain way and they're not looking a certain way. Turns out that the freedom of choice increases and. From the standpoint, like prior to stream, I imagine that I'm, I have agency in this, uh, frame of, uh, I sort, I control the body mind and I'm me, the self controlling the body mind.It's gonna act on the world. It's like integrating, seeing just the body mind, working with the world. I now see that there are more choices by degree of not denying that there are actually some limitations. Like, I cannot[00:46:00] I cannot, uh, suddenly start, uh, in some language. I haven't spoken before.And, but by seeing the limitation, you actually gain the freedom by denying the limitations that are inherent to, to experience. I'm actually not seeing freedom because I keep holding on to my ideas of what I should be able to do instead of seeing what I'm able to do. So without shooting the experience, you can see the things that could be happening and it becomes, uh, pretty easy.Uh, a pretty, pretty obvious experience after you get it, but before it's sort of like cloudy. in, in terms of freedom, I would say the biggest freedom I found was to, to take on projects or, or, uh, do things that I previously seemed to be unapproachable. Uh, it's my identity, like, oh, who's little me?[00:47:00] Like, uh, imposter syndrome. oh, look at all these people. Um, they're, they're from a big, this big, uh, university. How can I work with them? Right? All these notions of, of importance, it's like, who? Little me.That's from a small town in this eastern European country. Uh, so when you drop identity, it's like, okay, whenever I had that, it's like, oh. They're gonna see that I'm an imposter. Can you see how that is just a sensation in this moment right now, that being an imposter is just a sensation that's all there is to, and some thoughts, but what bothers you is not as much the thought level as much the sensation level. How does feeling an imposter or rather being an imposter, because it seems like I'm being an imposter and it's very common for prior to experiment to have the experience of I am this, I am that, versus, this sensation appearing there is this pattern occurring.So when I no longer make this about some me, some, some, uh, constant identity and adjusting as a pattern, I'm able to actually clean it out because I don't feel every time I'm doing healing that I'm somehow, uh, attacking myself.[00:48:00] Almost a lot of people try to do healing and it goes nowhere. And this is my opinion around therapy.The reason why therapy actually doesn't work is because they have this view of this monolith called self Instead of being a bunch of almost decentralized projects, um, when someone gets stream entry, they finally realize that all those were processes and they weren't necessarily constant and they weren't necessarily owned and they weren't necessarily present.Oftentimes, like the memories Hmm.We identify as, or with any memory, if I, I would invite the, the listeners, any memory they have, if they bring it out, I want them to realize that the experience of a memory, it's a bunch of thoughts and sensations happening now and. I hope they see that this means that the past can only be experienced as a bunch of thoughts and sensations happening now.They cannot experience the past in any meaningful way other than sensations and thoughts happening now. So when that happens, you no longer get lost that much into the thoughts, uh, of the past or into memories, or[00:49:00] you keep identifying with this version of you from 10, 15, 20 years ago that is actually not here. So you're able to be with a, with a, you have the, the freedom to be here now and realize that you have some references to some other so-called past experience. But what you have is just, uh, an, a reference to some memory, some thoughts happening now. that brings you to, like, you need, know, the whole power of now, right?You, to do something to be in the power of now. And this is the funniest one, which is I ask them to, okay, try to imagine the, the, the past and it's just a bunch of thoughts and sensations now. And then imagine your favorite meal in a bunch of hours and see that there are a bunch of thoughts and sensations happening now.And then I asked them, is there some other place other than, than now to be like, do you need to do something to be now? It's like, no. You just have the impression that somehow you are not now. And that opens up a lot of, uh, opportunities to clean up. I think that's the most important when I no longer, um, think that somehow I'm the same guy was five years ago in that relationship,[00:50:00] It brings the possibility of me being like, oh, wait, that relationship, it's a bunch of thoughts and sensations happening now.And that's not something I do. It's just when, when a thinking of the memory occurs, sensations come up. It's like, I did not make those sensations. I did not do the sensing somehow, I didn't do the feeling as much as the feeling happened. And there are a few, uh, pointers for these that make it immediately obvious, but at each level as you go to a pad, you realize almost, uh, in a way actually find that the Buddhist path is very consistent with the Keegan stage.Instead of like me, uh, having this experience, you make everything an object and you basically make more and more of your identity on an object that you can work with.Uh, eventually you make all of your identity. Actually, Reen enlightenment would be a bit past even Kegan five because you make everything,[00:51:00] you make everything an object that can be worked with and you no longer see it as a subjective context.Michael Stroe: Um, yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: Let me let, let, no, that was great. I, so we're talking about freedom and then, um, the, the freedom from. You're past in a way, and I, I kind of wanna sharpen up this therapy thing ‘cause you said something very provocative, which is the reason why therapy doesn't work is the way I understood. It's almost like it's reifying the self.Daniel Kazandjian: Right. It's a discursive practice that's assuming the self actually exists.Michael Stroe: Yes, and it's assuming that identity is an experience instead of like, what's experienced is just a bunch of thoughts and sensation.The way I would frame it, it actually, it, it actually applies both to stream entry and work with reactivity. For stream entry is assuming that somehow you, you can have the experience of the memory or your, uh, basically bringing up something from the past and it's like, oh, that's still happening, that's still active, that's still real.The memory of being this age and having this experience instead of seeing the experience for what it is,[00:52:00] it's like, oh, a bunch of thoughts and sensations happening now, and that's the first one. They're making a thing out of something. That's another experience, and that's the first aspect of considering identity a constant.Right? The second aspect of the, the reason why therapy doesn't work is because action therapy always works after the gap. If I want to, if, if I should, uh, remind people what I mean by the gap. The gap being the space of just sensations. No dots have started to try to change your experience. So let's say I go to a therapist and I wanna speak about this thing that happened to me in a relationship.I'm gonna draw on and on and on and on and on about what happened. But I'm already into the experience of trying to justify the sensation or change the sensation. I'm past the gap, and at no point I'm actually feeling my, my feelings. Feeling my feelings does not mean sobbing and going through this, oh, this person did this to me and they, this, this, to me.It's like, that's not what, staying with the sensation, that's not feeling your emotion, feeling your emotions or feeling your sensation is just the act of sitting with the initial sensation.[00:53:00] The one with the, the, this issue just started, the ones that you feel without needing to add the layer of, or conceptually the layer of thoughts or the layer of judgment.And because most therapies working in the space of reactive already, they're past the gap. They're the inner version already. Hmm.Most people don't make meaningful progress. Because they're actually not feeling their emotions. They are more or less feeling the amplified sensation, but not the, the, the, the crux or the core of the issue.They're feeling all the fabrication around the issue.Daniel Kazandjian: Let's see if we could apply this to an example. Like let's say, um. Uh, just totally random example, let's say I had a very critical father who whenever he was in the room, his presence, um, warranted like a hyper vigilance in me and my siblings because, and, and he's a bit volatile.[00:54:00] So we just have to be on edge, you know, whenever he's around. And then, so something at a young age developed to protect myself from, from that mechanism or from the potential of attack or something like that. And then it's still latent in the body. And maybe, maybe it's influencing the way I relate to authorities as an adult.And I come to therapy, I come to you who you're like, therapy doesn't work, but we got this other approach.Daniel Kazandjian: How would you,Michael Stroe: therapy for what is, what is me teaching? not trying to take the clients from the therapist. I'm just saying what works and what doesn't.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah. What, what would work to, to deal with a situation like that?Michael Stroe: First it would be bringing up the memory. And when you bring up the memory, it's immediately coupled with a bunch of sensations, right? Like, it's very obvious that like, you might tell there's something, there might be a lock in, right?Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: So where it's like you have the grand story that they were this, they were there.It's like, okay, but like, that's not happening right now. Me and you, let's say we're in the same room. We're just sitting on a couch, just vibing.[00:55:00] So it's like, oh, what happens right now? It's a bunch of mental phenomena, stories, thoughts, images, and some sensations. It's like, okay, take away the whole, he was this, he was that.He was like, what's happening here at this moment? Oh, a bunch of thoughts. Okay. I want you to notice that. Regardless of what happened in the past, that's not what is happening right now. You might behave as if it was a real, real thing, but if you foresee that your memory of it, it's a bunch of thoughts and some not so pleasant contractions in the body happening right now, you first gain a bit of distance from it.Distance in a good way, not trying to dissociate.There are some sensations in my body right now. I have a mental image of what that happens. And I would ask, okay, you notice that in this moment you're thinking of that story and imagine that reality should be a certain way for you right now.Almost like trying to, um, rewrite the past, which is in a way, making a sentence or what we describe. It's like, oh, I didn't have a father that was,[00:56:00] let's say, uh, warm and I'm just making it up right now. Right? It's like when you tone that, is that the thing that you actually wanted back then?It's like, yeah, I wanted to, it's like. what you have right now, even though you didn't have then, it's just a bunch of sensation. And I ask them, okay, if you feel those sensations, but like, don't go into thoughts that are just chatter now. At this moment. You have those crappy sensations, but are they that bad?That's why I make the framing around like compared to an actual pain, how bad they are, and I ask them to stay with it. And if they get lasting thoughts, I bring them back. It's like, no, no, no, no. You're in this room right now. Your father, whoever it is, it's not here. You're safe. You're with me. Like, or even if they're in their, in their own room, they're safe.What do you have right now? It's a bunch of sensations. Like, do you need to do something about those sensations? Can you just relax a bit into them? Can you give them 1% at a time to just be there and let them dissolve?[00:57:00] And over time that decreases, they're not here, not an experience. Would be the point of imagining, oh, it's this, this created this problem. This problem is this problem. if you wanna untangle, but at the level of suffering, most often. I've seen, uh, I, I'm not gonna give a percentage. Most people end up not having the benefits that I want because they're going like, oh, he was like this and he used to do this.And you, it's like if they, if they lock into the past, they're already not in the room with you. They're basically like lost in thoughts that they're already passed the gap in a space of just fabrication and this, just seeing the difference between what's here right now and what's fabrication or constructionDaniel Kazandjian: You know, the concept of memory reconsolidation and like, uh, therapy literature.Michael Stroe: Yeah.Daniel Kazandjian: Do you wanna do a quick summary of that?Michael Stroe: Uh, yes. I'm not super technical and I can, I best tell you myDaniel Kazandjian: Well, let, let me actually just say how I mean it. ‘cause like, we don't need to get academic about it. It, but it's this idea that like, uh,[00:58:00] There's all these different therapeutic healing modalities, inner work modalities, and to the extent that any of them are effective, they seem to share one thing in common at, at least this is the thesis, which is they allow you to reconsolidate refactor negative memory memories into positive ones by presenting. or neutral ones by presenting disconfirming evidence. So you're having, we're having a conversation in a safe environment about something that happened when it felt unsafe. Maybe we spend time with the sensations instead of the story,And then the system changes. It's a prediction because you're predicting something bad's gonna happen,but it doesn't. And then if you just see that very clearly, then your system updates and then you no longer have activation around that.Michael Stroe: Oh, uh, yeah, definitely. I feel like in a therapeutic sense, they kind of try to change the story as well, if I'm not mistaken.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: like in our approach, it would be mostly just.[00:59:00] Sitting with the sensation and they become neutral and then the story, it's like, okay, he did that. It is probably process wise, we would stay a step, uh, closer to experience. We wouldn't necessarily try to change the story.Daniel Kazandjian: Yeah.Michael Stroe: What it's worth, I want everyone to know that I actually don't think that enlightenment, Buddhism, or fairs have the answer to all the problems. And I think some, uh, therapeutic modalities should be used, especially after stream entry, but stream entry is super fast.But I think if you want to change your patterns, you would first do the feeling and then okay, what would ideally do here? Right. Funnily enough, funnily enough, there is a degree to which feeling your sensation about an issue changes behavior immediately. Even though we are not necessarily doing, uh, a change in the story, uh, this oftentimes actually happens with issues around procrastination.That's the one I actually have seen the most when you no longer have this, oh, this is gonna suck if I'm gonna have to do this. immediately like, oh, I, I feel okay, I'm just gonna do it.[01:00:00] Uh, and we, we in this case with, let's say, let's be less than pleasant with, uh, a parent that happens, but less to a degree. Whereas I would say that, oh, the people that I've worked with necessarily all of a sudden go and all of them repair their relationship. They feel they are if they choose later to work on this and process this and change the relationship. That's almost, um, a side process that it canBut I wouldn't say that this one actually solves it like that.Daniel Kazandjian: Um, I think it'd be nice if we did like a very concise, uh, procrastination protocol, so. Let's say someone listening to this is like, fuck, there's that thing I gotta do, and I keep putting it off step by step. How might they deconstruct it using your method?Michael Stroe: Yeah. So it'll be like this. Oh, I have this thing. Let's say I have, I have this project and there is a deadline on Friday, right? Let's say today is Wednesday. Sorry.The reality is like all those grand stories, like, oh, if this is, if I'm not gonna do this, my boss, my this might be like, okay, okay.[01:01:00] Okay. Right now what you have with this situation, you have some sensation, you have some thoughts, and you're also like some resistance to how the sensations feel. But let's take a step back and all of the, the stories we can sum it up as, I don't know if I finished the project by Friday, that's the, the thing, it can be either, uh, uh, a, a, an uncertainty problem, right?That I usually frame, I usually frame it on two things. Procrastination, especially either something that you feel like it's missing or something that you don't know.It's the first one where you feel like something is uncertain, like I don't know if I have the time to be or if I know if I'll finish the project by Friday.Okay. How does that feel in the body? Oh, it's a sensation in my gut. It's a four out of 10. It's like, whoa, we have a big one. Right. And that's when I asked them, it's like, okay, but compared to breaking, like how bad is that sensation? It's like one. Oh, okay. Yeah. So it's like, oh, it's a one out of 10 for the fact that I don't know if I'm gonna finish the project by Friday, or I don't know if this task will get done.Okay. Or I, or, or the other framing is I haven't done X project.[01:02:00] Maybe the deadline is not there. Especially for personal projects, I work with a bunch of people that are self-employed. It's like, oh, I haven't done this project. And there's no one, there's no boss to tell them to do this. So in those cases, it would be like, oh, I haven't done X project.Okay. How does that feel in the body, that sensation? It's not that, that it doesn't even bother you that you have done or haven't done that situation. What bothers you is this sensation? So give it like 30 seconds. Okay. Oh, I haven't done this project. Does it feel that bad? Oh no. It's like, and it's like so fast, like two minutes.For most people, if it's not a big deal, it's like a two minute thing, like feeling your sensations. Like, okay, are you gonna do the thing? Yeah, I'm gonna do the thing, whatever. That's it.Daniel Kazandjian: Step one, you, you, you notice that you're procrastinating because I think sometimes you don't even realize that you're doing it. You're just like avoiding your life and then you're like, oh shit, I'm procrastinating. It's due tomorrow. Okay. You notice it.[01:03:00] You just sit and feel what's happening in your body, like what's the,Michael Stroe: I would actually, first, the next step would actually be putting things into perspective. It's you looking for some other reality than the one you have available. And it's very because sometimes like, oh, but what you're initially feeli

n this episode of Recovering My Inner Child, we dive into the powerful lessons from The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. What does it really mean to live authentically—even if it means disappointing others? How can separating “our tasks” from “their tasks” help us release the heavy burden of people-pleasing? And why is true happiness tied to the courage to be disliked?Join me as we explore how Adlerian psychology connects with inner child healing, offering practical tools to let go of past wounds, stop chasing approval, and reclaim the freedom to be fully ourselves.

Aileen Miziolek hosts an in-depth conversation with Alyson Schafer, an acclaimed author and Adlerian family counsellor. In this thoughtful 30-minute episode, they touch on issues around over- and under-functioning children, why the notion of fair vs. equal in childhood can impact long-term family business dynamics, and how tackling the unique challenges of enterprising families requires maturity, open-mindedness and an understanding that sometimes personal responsibility is the only path forward.   All views, information, and opinions expressed during this podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Family Enterprise Canada.   Guest bio Alyson Schafer is one of Canada's leading parenting experts. She promotes a firm but friendly “democratic parenting” style and offers practical solutions backed by extensive evidence-based research. Alyson is an Adlerian family counsellor, author, and internationally acclaimed expert who empowers families by sharing her principles, rules, and tools for raising co-operative and resilient kids.   You can learn more about Alyson Schafer on her website and LinkedIn.   Key Takeaways [0:26] Aileen Miziolek welcomes Alyson Schafer and asks her to share about her experience with family business dynamics.   [3:01] Understanding the notion of fair vs. equal is a large part of how a family orients itself. Alyson explains how the abundance and scarcity models may influence how this manifests.   [6:48] While intergenerational patterns are real, there is always hope for change when there is maturity and open-mindedness.   [10:36] Family businesses do not have the freedom of relative anonymity in the workplace: family tensions can easily translate into business tensions.   [12:52] Personal responsibility is required for change. Alyson offers a dance metaphor to illustrate that the “other” doesn't always need to start the process.   [15:15] Children differentiate to stop competition. Alyson warns against bean-counting to prevent under-functioning.   [20:46] Alyson shares tips to manage over- and under-functioning in any given system.   [23:34] Co-leading siblings is possible, but will require strong buy-in, well-defined roles and responsibilities, and generational support.   [26:15] Solving problems at the parent level is usually the fastest way to power change.   [27:29] North America is singular in its propensity to cut off family members!   [29:43] Links to Alyson Schafer's contact, podcast, and books can be found in the links below.   [31:11] Aileen thanks Alyson Schafer for sharing so much of her knowledge, and closes this episode by reminding listeners to rate and subscribe.   If you enjoyed today's episode, you can subscribe to Let's Talk Family Enterprise on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and other podcast apps. Please remember to share this episode with family, friends, and colleagues. Share your thoughts with us at fea@familyenterprise.ca.   Mentioned in this episode Alyson Schafer's Podcast: Parenting The Adlerian Way   Ain't Misbehavin': Tactics for Tantrums, Meltdowns, Bedtime Blues and Other Perfectly Normal Kid Behaviors, by Alyson Schafer   Honey, I Wrecked the Kids: When Yelling, Screaming, Threats, Bribes, Time-outs, Sticker Charts and Removing Privileges All Don't Work, by Alyson Schafer   Breaking The Good Mom Myth, by Alyson Schafer   More about Family Enterprise Canada Family Enterprise Canada FEC on Facebook FEC on Twitter FEC on LinkedIn

Q1. Boy/girl twins placed in the same class and already bickering over what the teacher said, who's following the teacher's instructions better etc… Q2. Teen athlete is not eating breakfast or lunch, not enough water, and then throwing off the evening schedule by eating right after school. Q3. Child in daycare is potty trained, eats everything and very co-operative, but at home they have accidents, are a picky eater and won't listen. **********Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler NewsletterDo you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I'll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the things you've been blaming for where you are in life—your past, your heartbreaks, your fears—aren't actually what's holding you back? In this week's episode, Matthew, Audrey, and Stephen explore a bold idea from Adlerian psychology: that your life isn't determined as much by your trauma as by the goals you've set for yourself. The Love Life Podcast crew breaks down how this flips the script on what we think we know about change, self-sabotage, and why we stay stuck. If you've ever felt like you're spinning your wheels in love or life, this episode will challenge you to see your patterns in a whole new way. Are you ready to uncover the hidden goals that could be keeping you from moving forward?   Links: ►► Try Matthew AI for free and get personalized coaching anytime: AskMH.com ►► Join the Matthew Hussey Weekend Retreat (in person in Miami or virtual): MHRetreat.com

Send us a textThe secret to effective child therapy isn't just what happens in the therapist's office – it's who's in the room. Kim Feeney, an Adlerian play therapist, makes a compelling case for why parental involvement isn't optional when healing children's emotional wounds."Parents are the experts on their child," Kim emphasizes, explaining how Adlerian therapy recognizes that all behavior serves a purpose within family systems. Without understanding a child's family atmosphere, therapists miss crucial context for meaningful intervention. Think about it this way: parents have 365 days of influence annually, teachers have 180 school days, while therapists might have just 45 sessions – who are the real change-makers in this equation?The conversation explores common obstacles to family involvement in therapy and practical strategies for overcoming them. From scheduling challenges to parental discomfort with play, Kim offers straightforward approaches that honor both parent and child needs. Parents often arrive feeling defeated and overwhelmed, making the therapist's ability to validate their expertise while guiding new skills particularly crucial.Beyond family dynamics, we dive into the concerning decline of play skills across childhood. Kim provides age-specific recommendations for meaningful play: non-directive approaches for preschoolers, collaborative projects for elementary children, and – perhaps surprisingly – continued playful connection with teenagers. "Teenagers need play too," Kim insists, suggesting parents allow teens to become the experts who teach them about their interests. Sometimes being "cringe" is exactly what creates breakthrough moments!For fellow therapists, Kim offers wisdom about the patience required in child therapy. The process often involves several sessions before addressing presenting concerns directly. Through metaphorical play – puppet shows about fighting animals or games of "monkey in the middle" – children communicate their struggles in ways words cannot capture. "We're just planting seeds," she reminds us, with results that might not blossom until years later.Ready to transform your approach to understanding and connecting with the children in your life? Discover more about Kim's work at butterflybeginningscounseling.com.Support the showwww.bethtrammell.com

Q1. First grader doesn't want to go to school or do homework.Q2. Parents with three children - including one with gluten and sugar sensitivities and global developmental delay and ADHD – want to ensure they eat well and don't develop a bad relationship with food. Q3. Should all kids be made to experience a consequence when only one child misbehaved?Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler NewsletterDo you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I'll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bubbles, Balloons, and Birds and The Leader of the ParadeInterview with Mary McCluskeyIn this My Life Now episode, Dallas interviews author Mary McCluskey.About the Book:The Leader of the Parade is a creative and heartwarming educational story blending Adlerian psychology with imaginative storytelling to support emotional growth and community building. Written by a renowned psychotherapist, the book follows Dr. Alfred Adler—one of the early pioneers of psychology—who leads eight children on a magical journey through European towns, rivers, castles, flower-filled meadows, an animal sanctuary, and even outer space.Accompanied by two symbolic rabbits, Peace and Justice, as well as Si the superhero pony and Robin the red cardinal, the children explore deep emotional themes like jealousy, fear, guilt, coping with loss, joy, and hope. Through poetry, stories, and songs, they reflect together on how to become better leaders—not by dominating others, but by fostering inclusion, resilience, respect, and positive change.Designed as both a children's story and a teaching tool, the book empowers caregivers, educators, and children to engage in meaningful dialogue and develop inner emotional strength. By combining Adlerian theory with engaging characters and interactive elements, The Leader of the Parade offers a transformative reading experience that promotes healing, leadership, and a sense of belonging for readers of all ages.Buy Your Copy of the Books:The Leader of the Parade: https://a.co/d/0pwBhuABubbles, Balloons & Birds: https://a.co/d/i4YxzEJThank you for listening to and supporting the My Life Now podcast show. We are excited to connect with each of our listeners on our various platforms. Below is the best way you can not only connect with us but also have an opportunity to be featured on our Podcasts.For Marketing and Publishing needs, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Buscher's Social Media Marketing LLC⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (https://www.facebook.com/buscherssmm)

Show notes / PDF & Infographic / Free Audiobook / What if I told you the key to freedom is actually being willing to be disliked? In the next 20 minutes, you'll discover the Adlerian secret to authentic living that's captivated readers worldwide. Read 1 million books in minutes. For free. Get the PDF, infographic, extended ad-free audiobook and animated version of this summary and unlimited bestselling book insights on the top-rated ⁠StoryShots⁠ app: ⁠https://go.getstoryshots.com/free⁠ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the StoryShots podcast now.  What should our next book be? Suggest and vote it up on the ⁠StoryShots⁠ app. IN THIS EPISODE: Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga's book reveals how adopting Adlerian psychological principles can help individuals break free from past constraints, overcome the fear of disapproval, and live more authentically by focusing on personal values and community contribution. TOPICS: Relationships, personal growth, happiness, Self-help, psychology KEY FIGURES: Mark Manson, Man's Search for Meaning, Jordan Peterson, The Courage to Be Disliked, Sigmund Freud,, 12 Rules for Life, Alfred Adler, StoryShots, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Viktor E. Frankl, Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga SUMMARY: The podcast episode explores the key principles of Alfred Adler's psychology as presented in the book 'The Courage to Be Disliked' by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. The core message challenges traditional psychological thinking by asserting that individuals are not controlled by their past experiences, but rather by their future goals and choices. The book argues that people can liberate themselves by understanding that they have the power to interpret and reframe their life experiences, moving beyond deterministic views of personal development. A central theme of the book is that all problems are fundamentally interpersonal relationship problems, and true freedom comes from developing the courage to be disliked. This means living authentically according to one's values, even if it means facing potential disapproval from others. The authors emphasize the importance of separating tasks in relationships, letting go of the need for external recognition, and focusing on contribution rather than personal gain. The book introduces several transformative mental models from Adlerian psychology, such as horizontal versus vertical relationships, task separation, and the concept of community feeling (Gemeinschaftskefuel). These principles encourage individuals to view themselves as equal members of a community, focus on present-moment living, and find meaning through contributing to others. The ultimate goal is to help readers develop a more authentic, purposeful, and liberated approach to life by challenging societal expectations and internal limiting beliefs. KEY QUOTES: • "What if I told you the key to freedom is actually being willing to be disliked?" - Ichiro Kishimi • "Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live." - Ichiro Kishimi • "Freedom is being disliked by other people." - Ichiro Kishimi • "Happiness is the feeling of contribution." - Ichiro Kishimi KEY TAKEAWAYS: • Your past experiences do not determine your future; you have the power to reinterpret and choose your path forward • Interpersonal relationships are the root of most psychological problems, and understanding relationship dynamics is key to personal growth • Developing the courage to be disliked means living authentically according to your values, even if it means facing potential disapproval from others • True happiness comes from contribution, not recognition - focus on adding value to others and society rather than seeking praise • Practice 'task separation' by clearly distinguishing between your responsibilities and those of others, which creates healthier boundaries in relationships... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Abu⁠ and Obssa complete their read-through of ⁠Artificial Condition⁠ by Martha Wells. They discuss Murderbot's trauma on Ganaka Pit and how the bot's fears could be interpreted through Adlerian psychology. Get bonus content and helpful reading materials: https://www.patreon.com/scifibookclubpod Keep the conversation going in our free Discord: https://discord.gg/bVrhwWm7j4 Watch the video version of this episode: www.youtube.com/@loreparty Keep up with this season's reading schedule: https://tinyurl.com/sfbc-season2 (00:00) Intro (03:11) Chapter Summaries (10:55) Our Impressions (21:43) Adlerian Psychology (33:53) The Nature of Fear (39:17) Is Fear Necessary? (43:55) Final Ratings (46:26) Up Next & Goodbye Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send me your thoughts in a Text MessageWhat is your life's purpose? Do you know it? And what is the point of inquiring into that? Find your true calling and life will flow, says my guest Maria Micha.Maria Micha is a senior clinical mental health counsellor, psychotherapist, and hypnotherapist trained in the UK and USA. She is trained in family therapy, Adlerian therapy, systemic therapy, Psychodynamic Theory, and hypnotherapy. She has created the Anagenesis Method, a harmonious blend of counselling, science, hypnotherapy, spiritual shamanic practices, cacao-induced visions, and energy healing.https://mariamicha.com/Work with me. http://www.IlonaCiunaite.com/sessions Subscribe to my Newsletter for updates, gifts and to receive info about free monthly meetings on Zoom https://ilonaciunaite.com/subscribe/Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featuredWebsiteshttp://ilonaciunaite.comhttp://liberationunleashed.com

Send us a textThe need to be liked is one of business leaders' biggest psychological hurdles. While it's natural to want to be respected and appreciated, an excessive desire for approval can lead to weak decision-making, poor boundaries, and an inability to hold others accountable. From an Adlerian psychology perspective, this struggle stems from mistaken beliefs about self-worth and interpersonal relationships. Leaders who seek validation from others often fear rejection, prioritize harmony over progress, and struggle with making difficult but necessary decisions.To be an effective leader, you must cultivate "the courage to be disliked"—the ability to make decisions based on what is correct rather than popular. In this episode, we will explore common challenges leaders face regarding approval-seeking behavior, the Adlerian understanding of this issue, and practical strategies to overcome it. 

Original Air Date: October 11, 2022 In this exciting episode, Lisa is joined by the extraordinary Terry Kottman, founder of Adlerian Play Therapy, to explore the heart and soul of this impactful therapeutic approach. Known for her fun, engaging style and groundbreaking contributions to play therapy, Terry shares her wisdom, humor, and deep insights into how therapists can elevate their practice. Here's what you'll learn: How to bring more of yourself into your sessions to create authentic connections; Tips for custom-designing sessions to meet the unique needs of each client; Ways to deepen your client's self-awareness (… and what it means to “spit in the client's soup”); Strategies for navigating therapeutic work when the process doesn't follow clear-cut phases; and Insights into attuning not only to your client but to their entire treatment process—an advanced “meta-attunement” approach.

Today's authors promise to help us unlock our full potential and free ourselves from the shackles of past traumas and societal expectations to find true personal happiness using principles from Adlerian psychology. Join Mike & Cory as they embark on a journey toward lasting happiness and personal fulfillment. Support the Show The Courage to Be […]

Q1. 12yr old girl who has become super-quiet. What to do?Q2. My teen doesn't want to join any clubs, do I force him? Q3. My son says he is trying to find a job, but not really. Do I cut off his allowance?Q4. My kids leave their stuff laying around and I nag but they never pick it up.Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler NewsletterIf you have a question you'd like answered on a future podcast, email it to hello@alysonschafer.com Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of The Complicated Kids Podcast, I welcome Julianne Reilly, a clinical social worker with deep expertise in working with parents, educators, and children. Together, we chat about the concept of Positive Discipline, a framework rooted in Adlerian psychology. Julianne shares how it emphasizes belonging, significance, and mutual respect while equipping parents to navigate challenges with kindness and firmness. Our conversation touches on real-life parenting moments—tantrums, meltdowns, and setting boundaries—and explores the internal work parents must do to model respect and connection. We unpack why managing unpleasant emotions is key for both children and adults, and how parents can shift their perspectives to foster growth and resilience in their families.  To find out more about Julianne, visit her website at www.juliannereilly.com. About your host, Gabriele Nicolet Join Gabriele Nicolet, podcast host, parenting life coach and speech therapist, weekly for practical strategies and tips on raising complicated kids. Learn how to go from surviving to thriving and create a family culture in which every family member can feel valued, seen and heard. With a practical, relationship-based, family-friendly approach, Gabriele provides tools and insights parents need to create a more balanced and fun family life.If you've been listening and wondering what next steps to take to help your child, I am here for you. Maybe you're wondering whether your kiddo needs a speech and language evaluation, or occupational therapy, or some behavioral intervention to deal with picky eating, anger, meltdowns, hitting and biting. With over 20 years of experience, my knowledge of child development and the available options goes deep. Maybe you just want some practical tips on how to get through the day and feel like a better parent. We can unpack that too. Sound good? Learn more at www.gabrielenicolet.com. Complicated Kids Resources and Links:

Rocky Garrison is one of our Adlerian greats. In this interview Rocky talks about the Individual Psychology model of human development including the development of a fictional final goal and how we develop beliefs about self, others, and the world to sustain this goal and the movement toward it. In this model of development, Rocky shares that the courage to meet the challenges of life constructively is developed primarily within the family constellation. If you have questions for Rocky, he can be reached at rockygarrison@gmail.comDo you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I'll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To donate to my PayPal (thank you): https://paypal.me/danieru22?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US Drs. Ken James, Erik Mansager, and Donald Carveth join me for a conversation on the psychological theory of atonement in Christianity. Note: Information contained in this video is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a mental health professional or business consultant.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I respond to a question from Laura in Washington about incorporating sand trays in a child-centered play therapy (CCPT) playroom. Laura is hesitant due to her dislike of sand and the practical challenges of working in a shared space. I share tips on choosing sand types, such as kinetic sand or Jurassic Sand, to minimize mess and make cleanup easier. I also cover essential miniatures to include in a sand tray, emphasizing the need to represent the three categories of toys in CCPT: acting out/aggressive, creative/emotional, and real-life. Lastly, I clarify the CCPT approach to sand tray play, highlighting that it's a neutral option for children to engage with, without the directive or interpretive elements often associated with Jungian or Adlerian sand tray therapy. Sign up for my exclusive newsletter at playtherapynow.com. Stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice! If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Chapter 1:Summary of The Courage to Be Disliked"The Courage to Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, published in 2013, is a philosophical self-help book presented in a dialogue format between a philosopher and a young man. The book explores principles of Adlerian psychology, a school of psychology founded by Alfred Adler, which emphasizes the importance of establishing self-worth and developing social interest as ways to lead a fulfilled life.Throughout the conversation, the book delves into various concepts and ideas central to Adlerian thought. Some of the key themes include:1. Separation of Tasks: The book discusses the importance of distinguishing between one's own tasks and the tasks of others. It asserts that intruding into others' tasks or allowing others to intrude into one's own tasks can lead to unnecessary stress and conflict.2. Freedom from Past and Others' Expectations: According to Adlerian psychology, individuals are not determined by their past or by ingrained trauma. Instead, people have the freedom to choose and reinterpret their past, ultimately guiding their own future independent of their history or societal expectations.3. Creation of Lifestyle: Adler suggests that by the age of three, individuals have already formed a unique lifestyle pattern that governs their behavior. This lifestyle is not fixed and can be changed through self-awareness and conscious effort.4. Pursuit of Superiority: Unlike the negative connotation that the word 'superiority' might suggest, Adler uses it to describe a person's natural desire to improve and succeed. The book differentiates between unhealthy forms of superiority, where one seeks to dominate or be better than others, and healthy forms, which are about self-improvement and personal growth.5. Social Interest and Community Feeling: One of the most crucial aspects of Adlerian psychology is the development of social interest, which refers to the feeling of connectedness with others and desire to contribute positively to the community. It is argued that true happiness and fulfillment come from being part of and contributing to the greater community.The book is structured as a series of discussions and rebuttals that allow the reader to explore deep psychological concepts in an engaging and accessible manner. "The Courage to Be Disliked" has been a bestseller in Asia and has resonated with readers worldwide for its profound insights into achieving lasting happiness and understanding one's own life and the lives of others.Chapter 2:The Theme of The Courage to Be Disliked"The Courage to Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga is an engaging work that uses a conversational format to explore complex psychological concepts, primarily borrowing from the theories of Alfred Adler, an influential 20th-century psychologist. The book is structured as a dialogue between a young man and a philosopher over five consecutive nights. Here are key elements such as plot points, character development, and thematic ideas: Key Plot Points1. Introduction and Setting the Stage: The dialogue begins with the young man, skeptical and confrontational, visiting the philosopher to challenge his ideas about happiness and living a fulfilled life.2. Discussing Freedom: The philosopher introduces Adlerian psychology, emphasizing that people are not determined by their past, but are free to choose their future regardless of their circumstances.3. Concept of Trauma: The young man believes past trauma determines his present inability to be happy. The philosopher counters this by suggesting that trauma is not an experience but a chosen response to past events, which one can change.4. Tasks and Community Feeling: Discussing Adler's concept that human behavior is goal-oriented and tasks should not be for personal gain but for the good of the...

Show Notes:Get my Thriller Novel:  THE WATCHMANN  - Set in Homer Alaska Promise Yourself:(The Optimist Creed) Cultivate inner strength to maintain peace of mind. Spread positivity by discussing health, happiness, and prosperity with everyone. See the best in people, and inspire them to recognize it within themselves. Focus on optimism, expecting the best in all situations. Celebrate the success of others with enthusiasm equal to your own. Embrace the future with a cheerful outlook, leaving past mistakes behind. Invest in self-improvement to avoid criticism of others. Be too big for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for fear. Must-Watch: The Shift by Wayne DyerAvailable free on YouTube. This film delivers a life-changing message. Listen to it repeatedly, letting it sink in. Book Recommendation: The Courage to Be DislikedBased on Alfred Adler's philosophy, this book explores positive psychology through a dialogue between a student and philosopher. Inspired by Adler's teachings, this is a must-read for personal growth. Believe in Possibilities:Can you conceive and believe in a better life? If so, you can achieve it. Reach beyond your current state, seeking contentment, peace, and joy. Word of the Day: SapientMeaning wise, or attempting to appear wise. Used in science fiction to describe intelligent beings, it also relates to Homo sapiens. Local Spotlight: Captains CoffeeFor custom-roasted, fair-trade coffee, visit Captains Coffee in Homer, Alaska. Order online at CaptainsCoffee.com. Go Ask Adler:Explore Alfred Adler's philosophy, focusing on social interest, striving for superiority, and the holistic view of individuals. Adlerian psychology is foundational in modern positive psychology. Thought Provoking Quote:"You become what you think about." – Bob Proctor Are You Three Feet from Gold?:Don't give up too soon—like R.U. Darby, who stopped just three feet from a gold vein. Sometimes, you just need the right guidance to keep digging. Presidential Quirk:Did you know Richard Nixon enjoyed cottage cheese with ketchup for breakfast? A peculiar choice, yet part of his daily routine. Ancient Fashion:The man bun traces back to warrior hairstyles in ancient China. Embrace it as a modern statement of bravery. Perspective on Paradise:Even in paradise, some feel stuck. Remember, your paradise is what you make of it. Don't let perspective trap you—live in the present, learn from the past, and look forward to the future. For more inspiration, visit ILoveHomerAlaska.com

Chad Prevost and friend of the show, Matt Mclleland, discuss the significance of choice in shaping our identity and life outcomes, with a focus on self-awareness, conscious decision-making, and overcoming unconscious patterns. What is the impact of social media and technology on mental health? What are the challenges of balancing innovation with risk aversion in various industries? Whatever the answer, you need courage, authenticity, and leadership in navigating complex dynamics.High NotesOptimism, emotions, and Adlerian psychology.Self-expression, peer pressure, and individuality.Parenting, self-awareness, and the importance of opinions.Leadership values and authenticity.The power of choice in life and personal growth.Overcoming negative thoughts and building resilience through exercise and positive thinking.Gen Z mental health, social media, and parenting.Sustainability innovation and autonomous vehicles.Innovation, fear, and leadership in various industries.Download our free book, Desire: How Do You Want to Feel? Finding your way to your desire requires a number of the principles we teach at the Big Self School. It requires a calm center, self-knowledge, and courage to put the ideas into practice. Whether you think you know your desires, but want to reconnect to them, or you simply have no idea, this book can help you realize your way to a deeper and more authentic connection with yourself. Desire is ultimately about how you want your feelings, experiences, and values to line up in your life. This book is only available in print in hardback, but it's yours free as our downloadable PDF.Book a discovery call for coaching or workshop trainings here.Want to give us some love but don't know how? Leave us a review and subscribe on Apple iTunes or Subscribe on Spotify! Order a copy of Chad's

Mollie Thorn has been teaching parent education and also counselling families for decades. Mollie is now a proud grandparent and that means yet another application of Adlerian wisdom! She discusses the Pennsylvania Dutch expression “Grin, Bite Your Tongue and Bear Gifts” to describe best grandparenting practices. We talk about Mollie and her husband Phil's journey with Adlerian psychology over the years. You can find more about Mollie Thorn's work at The Pinnacle Centre. Her profile on Psychology Today You can email Mollie directly at mollie.thorn@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bob Wright is an Illinois guy through and through. He grew up just outside of Chicago. Interestingly enough, he decided much of Psychology was balderdash until he spent time in France. He will tell you this fascinating story.   After returning to the states, he took up the subject for some of his Master's Degree work and then beyond. Although he didn't say it in so many words, once he began truly delving into Psychology, he was quite hooked and made aspects of it his career.   He has been coaching for more than 40 years. He also understands sales and led his first sales course in 1981 for a part of Prudential Insurance where he vastly improved the performance of the group.   Bob and I have quite the conversation as you will see. He even analyzes me a bit. We agreed that we will have a second episode later, but first, I will have the opportunity to talk with his wife, Judith, who is deeply involved with Bob's work at all levels. Stay tuned.   About the Guest:   Bob Wright is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and educator. He's a cutting-edge thinker, called upon by top leaders across the country. He coaches Fortune-level CEOS from coast to coast, as well as entrepreneurs. Part of what Bob loves is hitting every level, people that want to make a difference, people who are movers and shakers in the world, that's where his sweet spot is. In fact, he was called one of the top executive coaches by Crain's Chicago business. He led his first sales course in 1981 for Prudential Insurance, for a division of the organization that was ranked 200th out of 2000 nationally—within a month, they shot up to #16.   He is also a dynamic entrepreneur who has founded several successful businesses His first venture, Human Effectiveness, was ranked tops in the country by the Mercer, as well as Arthur Andersen. He sold that business in 1994 to focus on consciousness, maximizing human performance, and the fulfillment of human potential.   He has sold to Fortune level companies from coast to coast, has managed his own sales force, and was one of the first people in the country to develop a Neurolinguistic Programming Training for sales professionals. Likewise, he is the developer of The Wright Model of Human Growth and Development that we will work with this evening. This is a distinct opportunity to learn some concepts from a master who actually developed this and has helped numerous worked with it over time.   Highly respected by major business figures – he has coached and trained leaders who have risen to national prominence in the areas of finance, technology, retirement, economics, compensation, governance, and the list goes on and on. Bob has trained and supported hundreds of sale professionals to higher levels of performance and satisfaction.  It is common for people he supports to triple and even quintuple income while learning to have greater satisfaction and fulfillment in all areas of their lives. His cutting edge approach to selling is empowered by his revolutionary integrative model of human growth and development. Sales people he coaches find themselves enjoying life more, and succeed even in down markets. The people that he has coached and trained over these years are movers and shakers making a major difference in the world today.   Ways to connect with Bob: drbobwright@judithandbob.com https://drbobwright.com/   About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.     Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, hi, welcome once again to unstoppable mindset. We're glad you're here I am your host, Mike hingson. And today we get to talk with Dr. Bob Wright. Bob is by any standard and entrepreneur and I would say very much an unstoppable one. He has started and, and sold many businesses in his life. He actually conducted his first sales course with a division of Prudential insurance in 1981. Now we're starting to pin down his age. And he he made that division go and sales from number 200 In a few weeks to number 16. I liked that. Having been in sales, a lot of my adult life. He loves to coach CEOs and entrepreneurs. And we'll find out what else So Bob, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We're really glad you're here.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 02:13 Thank you so much, Michael, I'm looking forward to talking with you.   Michael Hingson ** 02:18 Well, I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. And as I said, we got to have fun doing it. So I think we'll we'll do that. Tell us a bit about tell us a little bit about the early Bob, you know, growing up and all that sort of stuff that sort of shaped where you went and where you have gone in life?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 02:37 Well, yeah, I was the almost the ultimate good boy. Everything My mom wanted me to be going through high school and then college begin throwing some monkey wrenches in the story. And it wasn't until my sophomore year of college when I went to Germany. And I discovered that the narrow world of wooddale, Illinois was far from all that was the world and that the values I learned there were the only values were not the only values in the world. And it was like this. Consciousness shock.   Michael Hingson ** 03:17 What a concept, right? Yeah.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 03:19 Now where's wooddale? West of O'Hare. Back in the days when Midway was the busiest airport in the world. Yeah, we're about 15 miles west of O'Hare.   Michael Hingson ** 03:30 I have relatives in Genoa and DeKalb. So, and I was born in Chicago, so I'm a little bit familiar with the area, but I don't think I've been to wooddale   Dr. Bob Wright ** 03:41 Oh, you've probably been through it if you know, Park Road. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 03:45 I might have very well been through it. Well, I live for my first five years on the south side of Chicago 5017 Union, and it's changed a lot since we moved in 1955. So that's okay, though. Things do need to change. It makes it makes for an interesting world otherwise, so where did you go to college?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 04:06 Oh, well, I started at Lawrence in Appleton, Wisconsin. Ah, I went to school in Germany. Left Lawrence came back to the quarter at the College of DuPage. west of Chicago, graduated with my bachelor's from the University of Illinois, Chicago in sociology, because that was the subject that gave me the most credits and everything else I had done in my life. And so then I went to school, in in, in France after that, and that blew my mind even further. I mean, just horrendously drew mind blew my mind even further. Because I was always looking for what I thought of as ultimate truth. And the French experience just was the mind blowing, launch in some ways of my, my my life   Michael Hingson ** 05:04 a lot different than even Germany, right? Well, it was different   Dr. Bob Wright ** 05:08 than Germany and I had a database. The irony is that I'm in something that people think of as psychology, positive psychology, performance psychology, I think of it as my research in my life work as optimizing adult development. And going into high school, there was this really, you know, good counselor, we thought that my friends went to see. And I was already kind of against counselors because the the social worker and the grade school my mom's friend, and she would be sitting in our kitchen crying in our coffee about boyfriends every Saturday morning. And so I was going already these people are pretty darn weird. But my friends start seeing this woman, and and she starts telling these best, brightest kids in high school that they're latent ly suicidal. And they go, Whoa, this is really sick. Oh, stuff. And so then I was rapidly against psychology. Now, the rest of that story that is public domain, is there a husband was this guidance counselor down the road, Irving Park Road, another 20 some odd miles at Lake Park High School, they were a murder suicide. He boy, so that's nailed down my assumption. This is all inland as sickos know, I'm in school in France, and I'm going to study phenomenology. But my in six months, my French wasn't good enough to understand philosophy classes. So I ended up taking psychology classes, I could understand them. They were an English, that got me into group dynamics, which led to the rest of the story that I have discovered, there are well Valid Elements of psychology. And it is really the people not the discipline. That was the problem back then. So   Michael Hingson ** 07:07 they weren't all just sickos after all? I   Dr. Bob Wright ** 07:11 don't think so. Either that or you joined the ranks? No, no, no, not at all. But the profession in search of validity for a long time, right, so profoundly insecure? Well, it's   Michael Hingson ** 07:23 a it's a tough subject, because a lot of it is is so I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It's so nebulous, it's so much that you can't really just pin it down and define it. You're dealing with emotions, you're dealing with people's attitudes, and so on. And that's really pretty nebulous, it's really kind of hard to just define it in so many words. Yeah,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 07:51 if we don't go to human experience, then we'd have nothing. But you've got to figure back in the 50s and 60s and 70s, the humanistic psychology movement was transforming businesses, or Life magazine had an issue that said, sooner or later, everybody's going to be an encounter group at their church or somewhere else. And so what what happened was, they still never tied that up to performance. And so you fast forward, and you get a guy named Goldman who bring in Oh, psychology, so wanted to be as science. And he starts out with positive psychology. He denies everything before, which is just absolutely not true. He and I are similar ages, and we grew up breathing those things. But positive psychology now has a deep research base that is becoming less and less nebulous, whether it's the emotional part with Frederick SENS Research, or his his part with other positive psychology research. So it's kind of cool, what's happening. And it just, unfortunately, doesn't include what happened before because it was so thoroughly attacked.   Michael Hingson ** 08:58 Well, and it's, it's an evolutionary process, right. Yeah, you got it. Yeah. Which is, which is exactly the issue. And that's, that's true of a lot of sciences. I mean, we can go back and look at physics and look at any any of the sciences and they've evolved over the years for a long time, classical mechanics, was it everything fit Newtonian law, but then we discovered that well, it's not quite that way, especially when you get closer to the speed of light. A lot of things change, but also, attitudes and philosophies of of sciences have have changed. So what you're saying certainly is no surprise, psychology as a science, social science or whatever, is still a pretty new science by comparison. So you're   Dr. Bob Wright ** 09:47 obviously a science guy more than I knew. And so, did you read Boones structures of Scientific Revolutions a long time ago. So that is where the term is. Trent was a sap perspective transformation, a new paradigm. That's yeah, he coined the term paradigm as we use it today. And he's in particular talking about the disconnect between Newtonian physics and einsteinium physics. And that gets us down to all the different paradigms, because a paradigm is a shift in knowledge. And the paradigm that psychology is wrestling with, is the shift from pathology and problems to potential and realizing making real our potential. Right.   Michael Hingson ** 10:35 And again, still, that is a harder thing to quantify them what you can do with a lot of physics, we also know that Einsteinian physics doesn't go far enough, but it's what we know, or what we have known. And again, we're evolving, but in the case of what you're talking about, it's a lot harder to pin down and put an exact number two, which is what also makes it a little bit more of a challenge. And we need to learn better how to define that, and communicate it as we move forward.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 11:03 Well, you know, that's the bind of pure research, but I've got a slightly different perspective on this. So what we measure our success against is the total quality of somebody's life, their relationships, their work, their personal concept, and their spiritual and their service to our world. And so in our work, now, our foundation is closing down in December, sadly, because we didn't survive COVID. But we had more than 90% of our students felt that they were living with a higher sense of purpose and spiritual integration. They tended to make more money by 30% or more in the first year of working with us. And and the divorce rate in our advanced couples was under 4%. And in the entire school, was under 9%. The last time we took a survey on that. So when if you've got the elements that typical markers of a quality of life, looking there, and they their self esteem was higher, people gave them comments that they looked better, and even commented to a lot of them that they look younger. So if you take those variables, we're now starting to find something for which everyone is reaching, whether it's better relationship, more money, more career fulfillment, or more contribution to the world, we help you be more you. And our core assumption is, then you will automatically grow in all those areas, the mistake so many disciplines make is they forget that the core element of that entire formula is the individual. And if we can help the individual optimize their self them themselves, then they are going to automatically begin shifting how they operate in those areas and get stronger and stronger in directions that are more satisfying, fulfilling, fulfilling and contributory to our world. By   Michael Hingson ** 12:52 definition. Yeah.   12:54 Isn't that cool?   Michael Hingson ** 12:55 Which makes a lot of sense. Well, some for you. You went on and got a doctorate and so on. But when you when you started coaching, I guess really the question is what got you into the whole environment of applied integrative psychology and coaching? What what really got you there? Okay,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 13:16 so, remember, we have a totally anti psychology, right? I have a taste of what we called existential psychology and group dynamics in France. So when I came back from France, I looked for the strongest program to get more training. And it was training in, in all the existential application of Gestalt transactional analysis. And the various body works and things of the time. And I studied those, I became a trainer in those. And it was wonderful to watch people learn and grow. But you still couldn't make a lot of money that way. So I went back to school and got an MSW and I, my goal was to be a therapist, therapist, and my partner Bob Kaufman was my supervisor and my MSW. And we built a business called human effectiveness. And by the mid 80s, we were doing 300 services a week, a third of whom were psychology types. And, and so that was my retirement goal. And in addition to that, we were leading in a lot of ways in what was called employee assistance and manage psychiatric care. And we were doing consulting and training, which is where you heard the story about Prudential. And so that was kind of the way to make money doing it and get licensed because I knew I was good at helping people and I just wanted the easiest and quickest license to get and that was an MSW   Michael Hingson ** 14:49 said then you got that and what did you do?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 14:51 So human effectiveness was our was our business from the 1979 To 1994.   Michael Hingson ** 15:02 And that was a business you started human effectiveness. Yeah. And   Dr. Bob Wright ** 15:05 so we had a very unique model of therapy using individual and group off of what Bob postle called contemporary Adlerian. Therapy. And we developed that more and more and more. And we started getting higher and higher functioning clients. And our clients were moving way beyond the therapy ideal. Their lives were taking off in all the areas we've discussed. And we started that we're doing well, in 82, we hired a PhD, you have to be dissertation approved, PhD from Yale, they had him start doing consumer research, found out that people loved what they were getting one time, near the mid 80s, I had a two year waiting list. And so when we asked our clients what was going on, and they said, We love it, but you're not telling us everything they wanted to know. And my first master's, which was in communications, was helping people in a psychiatric hospital, oriented to that psychiatric hospital. And so, what what, I've always been a consumer guy, and so we started putting together seminars to help our clients understand what was going on. So that changed our model, from individual group to seminars to training them, we did more and more research and they kept telling us more and more of what they wanted. So the model eventually, included Alfred Adler, existential developmental Albert Adler's areas of life, existential principles, and developmental levels, all in an axis of consciousness, helping people grow their consciousness, awareness and responsibility in life. And so those seminars were training people, many of whom could analyze their own life situation and strategize better than licensed psychologist. So we begin, we begin going, why why aren't people getting credit for this. So that's why we started graduate school on the road. And I left the therapy metaphor in 91. We started working towards developing our model in our seminars to be more and more effective with Judith in 9495, which led to the right foundation for the realization of human potential, and the right graduate university for the realization of human potential, offering master's and doctoral degrees in transformational leadership and coaching. We even got an MBA credited. Now that is, now that the foundation is closing down at Maharishi University in Iowa. So the program goes on. But the foundation is no longer running   Michael Hingson ** 17:40 it. And Judith is   Dr. Bob Wright ** 17:43 Judith and I are stepping into what we think is our ultimate mission is couples, couples, and helping people come become more conscious, responsible, satisfied in service filled couples. And so we're kicking that off in January.   Michael Hingson ** 17:58 And how long have you guys been together?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 18:02 We got married in 81. So it's 42 years or two years? Yeah. Wow.   Michael Hingson ** 18:08 Well, you have beat Karen and me by a year. But as I think I told you, she passed away last year. So we were married for two years and loved it and lots of memories. But I can appreciate the fact that you guys have made it work. And you've also worked together, which is as good as it gets. Yeah,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 18:28 so so the last two books we've written together, and to understand so the last book is called battling to Bliss. The couple's Guide to 15 Common fights, what they really mean how they can bring you closer. So our previous book called transformed. We had one paragraph as we were driving back from Texas to Illinois, that we fought over for probably an hour. And Judith has this wonderful mind. And I just, I'm the one that pushes things to get done. So I said that that sentence is good enough. She says, No, that sentence doesn't work with this. I'm going to come on down it. So she wins that sentence. And she wins. She ended up winning all four sentences. But I ended up winning and moving on. So movement is more my specialty and accuracy and depth is well we both do depth is Judith. So battling to Bliss is really about people people think fights are a problem. They don't understand fights are a symptom that you're dealing in, that you're working on becoming a better stronger couple together.   Michael Hingson ** 19:36 Yeah, and so there's nothing wrong with disagreeing as long as you eventually work together and recognize what you're doing and need to do. So. You're both one which is what it's really all about.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 19:50 Amen. You got it. So you develop   Michael Hingson ** 19:54 this thing you call the right model of human growth and development. And that's I guess what you're basically alluding to in the early 1990s? Well, I actually   Dr. Bob Wright ** 20:05 had Scott started with that research in 1982. And it developed. So the first thing we did was help people vision. Now, the work from Dr. Boyd says that Case Western is that vision is way more important than goals. So we'd have people write a vision in seven areas of life and measure their progress against that every four months. And they go, Wow, man, we're growing twice as fast. But you're still not telling us everything. We said? Well, the truth of the matter is, we think of you developmentally and we're seeking to help you develop in ways that you didn't get developed are all like plants that never got perfect nourishment. And we're helping you fill in those things. And so that led to a developmental axis of consciousness for them. And then we did another round of research. And they said, we're still not telling you said anything. We said, Well, the truth of the matter is, we're existentialists. And we, we just think if you're fully present in here, now you'll learn you'll grow, and you'll become the best you you can become. And so that brought in an existential aspect about the here and now, people engaging. And it's all driven by what we call the assignment way of living, which was started by Bob postal, who was part of the Alfred Adler Institute in Chicago back in the 1970s.   Michael Hingson ** 21:24 Okay, so but you developed it, and is that what you use in the the coaching that you did? And that you do?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 21:33 That? Absolutely. I'm working with. I'm working with an attorney who's shifting professions now, from law to coaching. And so what I do periodically is help her understand when she has a win. How did that win, take her on a step forward in her development, and then I help her understand how that win actually can be leveraged if she will have the discipline to keep doing it. Most. There's a thing called neuroplasticity. And most of the world is a little bit over in love with it. Because thinking oh, yeah, we can automatically change No, it takes 1000s of repetitions. So help her understand a vision of what it's going to mean to consistently redo that way of doing things. She challenges unconscious limiting beliefs, because our program was pretty much done by age seven, we are living out a self fulfilling prophecy off of our early programming. If we don't do things to transform, we can learn and grow. But transforming is the challenge.   Michael Hingson ** 22:39 Yeah, so what's the difference between growth and transforming?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 22:45 We're working on that for the founder of an incredible Japanese coaching group called coach a and his name is Ito son. And, and so learning is knowing something I didn't know before. Growing is doing something I've never done before. But in Judas research, the people who are in touch with their deeper yearning, engage more, and they learn more, it reveals to them regulating their limiting beliefs and their skill deficits. And it also causes them to share with other people that causes them to begin challenging their limiting beliefs. And so learning and growing can be yearning, it can be learned, knowing things and doing things who would have never done we call that liberating. When you're doing things you never would have done. Transforming requires that you pray that you that you strategically do new things in the direction that will consistently challenge some of your unconscious limiting patterns. If you think about what we have our neural pathways imagine we have a neural highway. And everything we do runs along that neural highway. But we want to cut a take a shorter road from Highway A to highway B. So we go into the jungle. Well, we get into the jungle halfway and we look back, we can't even see where we've gone. To get to highway B, we may get to highway B, but we will find out how to get back to Highway A. So we're still going to be doing the same thing. So we the first level of of as we think about it of transformation, neuro transformation is going back and forth along that path enough that we can see where we've been and we can repeat it. Then we have to widen that path. And we have to turn it into a well trodden path. And eventually if it becomes a superhighway, we have transformed and we are doing things that we never could have done before.   Michael Hingson ** 24:49 How do you get people to really overcome their limiting beliefs what what is it that you do as a coach that brings people maybe To that aha moment, and maybe it isn't quite so dramatic, maybe it isn't that at all, but it's more subtle, but how do you get people to the point where they recognize, oh, maybe it's not really quite what we thought, because not everybody's gonna go to France. Okay,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 25:16 so first of all, none of us has ever done. So I'm still dealing with my own limiting beliefs, and, and building new neural pathways the same way. But there's a way we start is what we call an Adlerian Lifestyle Analysis, Alfred Adler helped people understand there are perceptions, the unconscious beliefs that guide us, we have empowering our perceptions, limiting beliefs, empowering beliefs, that we we have limiting beliefs is our language for the limiting perceptions in Adlerian terms. And so when we understand that most of those were installed, by the time we were seven, we can do a lifetime and Adlerian lifestyle analysis that will help you understand your early programming in a way that can empower your growth the rest of your life or inform your growth the rest of your life and your learning and ultimate transformation.   Michael Hingson ** 26:15 Okay, and how do people perceive that?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 26:21 Well, the first time I experienced it was in front of a room of maybe 50 therapists. And it was a demonstration by Bob postal, the Adlerian, I mentioned. And I went up front. And in about 1510 minutes, I'm bawling my eyes out, as he's basically telling me my life story in ways that were profoundly true that I had never imagined. And most, most people except the most defensive, are blown away, that it can be that easily accessed.   Michael Hingson ** 26:54 So, alright, so he, he demonstrated that he knew you better than you thought he knew you and perhaps better than you knew yourself, then what?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 27:05 Well, first of all, he called it like mind reading. And it's what it feels like it feels like he's talking to somebody who's doing mind reading, and Bob postal it, boiled it down to like seven questions. Your birth order is super important in how you look for affection and affirmation in life. If you're the firstborn, did you win? Did you maintain what Adler called a position of primacy? Or were you overrun by a second, third or fourth born? In which case, that's a terrible blow to your self esteem? And so, how we negotiate birth order is probably the most important element of that. And then there are other elements, like who was mom's favorite? Who was dad's favorite? And we get everybody you know, most 90 90% of people say, Oh, no, my mom and dad, they were equal. That's absolute horse manure. And so what we get to that by is who is most like dad, who was most like, mom? And if you were in the zoo, walking and looking at things who would mom who would be holding Mom's hand and who would be holding Dad's hand? And then once we get to larger families, it gets even more complex?   Michael Hingson ** 28:15 How do you deal with that? And I asked that, knowing that in my family, of course, I was blind, I was the second child. And I think my brother always felt like he wasn't quite as well received, even though he was two years older. But in reality, when I look back on it, what my parents did was really worked, not to show favoritism, but they did have to do things differently with me than they did with him because he could see, and I didn't, but I think they really worked at it. But I think his perception always was that he wasn't the favorite, even though that I don't think that really was the case as I sit and analyze it even now.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 29:03 Well, you know, he may not have been wrong. He might not have been got more attention. So the primary indicator of a favorite is attention. It doesn't necessarily mean for what, because you get seen more, you get more interest more, you develop a sense that you matter. And he's developing a sense that he doesn't matter. So in Adlerian terms, you may have overrun him, and that was a terrible blow to his self esteem.   Michael Hingson ** 29:33 Yeah. Yeah. Even though this Oh, sure. If you want   Dr. Bob Wright ** 29:38 go ahead. So how's he doing today?   Michael Hingson ** 29:40 He passed away in 2015. So he died of of cancer.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 29:45 How did he do in life? Well,   Michael Hingson ** 29:47 fair question. He ended up working for the Customs Organization, the US customs in communications. He was married for, gosh, probably close to 40 years as well. I'm not sure that he was as happy as he would like, just in looking at it. He tended to want to be very controlling. And his wife didn't have a problem with that. But I think that I think there were some issues, but I think he did. Okay, but not great.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 30:28 So you've been happier in life than he has, even though you have a profound challenge. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 30:35 I think the challenge is more perceptual than in reality, but Yeah, probably. That's it.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 30:41 Thanks very much.   Michael Hingson ** 30:44 That's probably so.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 30:47 But I also so your dad overran him. Yeah, I   Michael Hingson ** 30:51 hear you. You did. Even though we even though later in life, he was in Florida, and I was in California, or in New Jersey. I think I appreciate what you're saying. Yeah.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 31:05 Yeah, it's it's hard for us to accept when we start looking at these unconscious elements of what's called the family system. And and the system is there's no blame. There's no blaming. Yeah. But But who is your mom's favorite?   Michael Hingson ** 31:21 Well, I'm sure that that there are those that would say it was me. I'm not, I'm not really so sure. Because the way my mom interacted with us, was was different with each of us. She had to help me learn braille again, when I was going from third to fourth grade. And she took the time to do that. But she also did take the time with my brother, but I'm sure that he would tell you that I was,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 31:48 well, what was your dad's favorite? Oh,   Michael Hingson ** 31:53 I'm sure that, that my dad and I spent more time together because I was interested in things that he was much more than my brother like electronics and science. So I'm sure I   Dr. Bob Wright ** 32:02 was, who was murdered?   Michael Hingson ** 32:06 Gee, that depends, I guess, on everything, but probably I was. Nobody ever wants to answer this, by the way, probably. But probably for a lot of reasons. I would say I was. Yeah,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 32:15 pretty obviously. So we don't know what his potential would have been. Right, who got developed? And so my guess is he was actually your mom's favorite. He might very well have been. But But I think it was your mom's favorite because your mom counted on him to keep things working in the family while he was hungry, but didn't didn't know how to do anything. But please her as she was ministering to you. And as your dad was enjoying playing with you? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's   Michael Hingson ** 32:50 a lot of there's a lot of truth to that.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 32:52 Yeah, I know. I just, it's so much fun to get out of this. Michael. Yeah. It   Michael Hingson ** 32:59 makes a lot of sense to, to really look at it in the in the way that you're doing. But I think there's there's another aspect of it, and it's part of human nature, that gets to be a challenge. Because he was probably a person who felt not as happy, not as loved and didn't know how to deal with that, and maybe address it in his own life. And I learned how to do some of that, and learn how to deal with a lot of the challenges that I faced socially, and, and economically. But I think that one of the things that he never did learn was how to go back and look at himself and look at his life and grow in the same way. Yeah,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 33:50 amen. Probably wasn't as inquisitive as you know,   Michael Hingson ** 33:54 I'm sure he was not. That I'm very sure of. And it's it is a it's an issue because one of the things that I maintain today is that all of us can do so much more to grow. If we would spend more time even just in the evening before we go to sleep, being introspective, looking at whatever happened on a given day. And why it happened the way it did, what could we improve? What went great, what could we even have done to make what went great greater? And I know that he didn't do a lot of that,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 34:28 you know, there's actually a spiritual discipline with the max handle Rosicrucians that, that goes into that. I'm not a follower of theirs, but this they call it a retro flexion or retrospect, I forget what they call it. Exactly. Because when I was in school in France, the game was the minute your head hit the pillow. You were to rewind your day in reverse to when you first woke up. Yeah, and it's incredibly challenging. It is our emotions get I get sparked off, we get to see where we had unfinished business during the day. And it took me all of pretty close to a year before I got back to a morning, and that was pretty diligence, did diligent application. And so I think you're absolutely right.   Michael Hingson ** 35:23 There's a lot of value in in doing it. Because no one can teach us anything people can give us information. But we have to teach ourselves. And I've learned, even just this year, I now hate calling myself my own worst critic. When I listen to speeches and other things I always have said, I'm my own worst critic, and when in reality is the case is I'm my own best teacher, because I'm the one that can teach me. And it's always good to take a much more positive approach. And recognizing that actually helps when I go back and analyze the day and analyze the things that have gone on. Because I look for the lessons. And the lessons aren't just in the things that went wrong or the difficult things. The lessons can come from anywhere, but we have to look for them.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 36:08 So you just defined the transformation of a perfectionist, perfectionist, criticized because it's the work outcome that matters. And people that are learning and growing and stepping beyond perfection. Look for the lessons. So you just described you growing, from avoiding mistakes, to feeling more and more success and satisfaction in learning and growing. Congratulations. Well, thank   Michael Hingson ** 36:37 you. And even the so called Mistakes You know, there aren't they're not a mistake until it ended up being one. And again, the lesson is, what do you learn and do about it? Yeah,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 36:46 but you're unusual, Michael, because you've actually taken a philosophy and applied it. A lot of people would say the same things you just said. But they don't practice it. I believe you practice it.   Michael Hingson ** 36:58 And you know what? It's fun.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 37:01 It says pretty clear. Yeah. You have fun way before now. Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 37:05 Well, I like to look for the for fun. Personally, I think life is an adventure. For years, I've called the Internet, a treasure trove an adventure. And yeah, there's a lot of stuff. And there's a dark side. And there are all sorts of different things that go on. But there's also so much information that's out there if we bought look for it and use it. Amen. So it really, it really helps a great deal. And you know, so it's, it's worth doing well, in your case. So, you you have been so what business do you own? Now? What What's your business called? Or do you have one right now? Well,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 37:47 we write business Inc has been our flowthrough business forever. But we are reemerging to the world as live right? Li ve WRI ght with Judith and Bob. That is our new go to market identity. Pool.   Michael Hingson ** 38:07 That's a great name. And certainly, from a marketing standpoint, one that somebody can remember.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 38:14 Well, right now we only exist online is D r B o b.com. And Dr. Judith, Bob Wright, dot com or Judith wright.com I think or at any rate, we don't have a joint website yet. We'll be launching that in December, God Willing and the creek don't rise   Michael Hingson ** 38:35 well and make it accessible. And if you want help with that, I can help   Dr. Bob Wright ** 38:41 you. So so cool. Cool. I'm gonna have to find out more about what you can do them. Because I really don't know,   Michael Hingson ** 38:48 we can talk about that. And we can talk about ways to do it. And it's and it's something that that you should do. Because the reality is what most people don't realize is that the cost of doing business should really make sure that inclusion is part of it. You know, I when looking for jobs and talking to many, I'll just use blind people as an example. We've had companies say but I can't buy a screen reader for you. That's not in our budget. Well, you know, sure it is you buy computer monitors for everyone. I don't need a monitor. But I do need a screen reader. Inclusion ought to be part of the cost of doing business.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 39:26 Well, which is why you're going to be our consultants. So we our desire is to have our work available in all languages. We're going to be putting out our couples book the heart of the fight in Spanish. The heart of the fight reached number one nonfiction best seller in China, Judas soft addictions solution is, as of our last knowledge, number 10 self help in China. And so the languages aren't just words and spoken are they but there's I mean, there's there's what do you call blind accessibility? Michael?   Michael Hingson ** 40:06 Well, there are a couple of ways to do something like that. A lot of it is just doing the right things on on your website, or when you produce a book, if you have graphs, they should and pictures, they should be defined. You can do an electronic version, you can do an audio version. And there are ways also to put the book in Braille. And again, we can we can certainly talk about that. Well,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 40:28 I'm zipping myself an email to circle back with you on that. So let's keep going with what you've got today.   Michael Hingson ** 40:36 Well, definitely one thing I need to say, because I was looking for when I was getting ready for now, is I would like to have pictures of your book covers that we can put in the cover notes so that people can go off and find them later.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 40:51 We'll get it. Perfect.   Michael Hingson ** 40:53 Well, tell me a little bit more about you and coaching. What ultimately do people get out of what you do? After a question,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 41:07 you know, I'm gonna go back a little further, we get everybody knows we get what we put into things. Yeah. And so to get   Michael Hingson ** 41:16 the most out of coke, good psychological answer, go ahead.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 41:19 Well, I'm actually going to answer it. I appreciate the work up to I'm gonna work up to it. So the investment is time, money and personal upset. The price most people are not willing to pay is the person will upset we have to do to stretch beyond our own serious limit deeper mental limitations. And when we do that, for me, I had a lot of limiting beliefs about money. I could give you stories, we talked about the mythology rules, myths and beliefs about money when I looked growing up, my dad's brothers, who had way more money than we had, didn't have a marriage as good as my dad's marriage. And one of my dad's brothers was a particular jerk. And he was the wealthiest of them. And so I draw this conclusion from early on in life, because we all grew up within miles of each other, or blocks, actually, that it's either money or relationship. So a limiting belief I've had to challenge forever, is money and relationship. And fortunately, I'm making some progress on that and intend to make even more before I'm done. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 42:37 it's interesting. People think that if they have a lot of money, they're successful, and they're happy. And what pops into my mind? And I'm not going to try to get political here. But what pops into my mind is Donald Trump, I wonder how happy he really is.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 42:54 You know, we can actually dive right into the happiness things. First of all, there's a lot of research on it that would show that he doesn't have the characteristics. But that's another story. But right, I hear you. But I think everybody has a formula for happiness, most of them are wrong. Yeah. And I think the good fortune in my relationship foundation is relationship. You know that happiness research says, the biggest variable is learning and growing. The happiest people are engaged in learning and growing. There, they have New Horizons coming up, that they can learn and grow together and a couple or whatever they're doing, but they learn and grow. That's happiest.   Michael Hingson ** 43:33 That's the most successful thing that one can do. And it is all about learning and growing, and wanting to learn and grow. And I think he pointed out very well, a lot of people will provide lip service to a lot of this. But the reality is, they're not really growing. It's just a lot of talk. Habits are hard to break it. I've heard all sorts of different numbers about how many times you need to do something to change a habit. But still, ultimately, it doesn't happen until you can, not only intellectually but emotionally recognize that the change needs to happen and then do it.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 44:15 So that's that's the end the cost. So Judas seminal work on soft addictions was looking at the cost that turned out causes a lot of people to take on the habits. However, a habit is a behavior to order to change the deeper level behind that habit. Because they have, it's always doing something for us in service of a limiting belief. And so a limiting habits because we remember two kinds of beliefs, two kinds of habits, empowering and disempowering. And so it's really important to understand, if I really want to learn and grow to the max, I have to go through the discomfort of not just changing the habit, but changing by myself my thoughts, feelings and actions at the foundational level   Michael Hingson ** 44:59 and that's The cost. Yes, sir. And it's it's not as expensive as one might think, if you really apply it and do it. But the problem is, so many of us don't want to do that, because we're just, I hate hearing while I'm, you know, people are in their comfort zone, they don't want to change. We talk about change all the time. But I think people don't want to change I think we we are brought up to just like our comfort zones and not wanting to change, we don't do what we talked about before retrospection or introspection, that's too much work. And so we we don't get taught by others nearly as much as we should. The real value of change, but change is all around us. And change is going to be everywhere. I after September 11, I kept hearing, we got to get back to normal, we got to get back to doing things the normal way. And I bristled at that. And it took me a little while to understand why I was so upset with it. But I finally realized, normal will never be the same. Again, we can't get back to normal because if we do, we're going to have the same thing. And we will have learned absolutely nothing. Even with a pandemic, I hear about getting back to normal, but normal will never be the same again, the   Dr. Bob Wright ** 46:17 problem that you're getting it from me that I think about with that usually is that normal is is average, and none of us really want to be average, we want to be better than normal. So why would we want to get back to normal when we still haven't hit our potential? Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 46:36 But we're not thinking about that. And we haven't learned to think in that way. Until we   Dr. Bob Wright ** 46:41 understand Judith research. So there's yearning, engaging, and regulating seeing where my limitations come in. Then liberating challenging those limitations. It's so challenging those limitations, and then re matrixing. And then I have to keep stretching myself towards the new, further goals. That forced me to look beyond my limiting beliefs, because they're always there. And they're always are rising beyond them.   Michael Hingson ** 47:07 How do we get people to be able to do that?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 47:10 I don't, we don't get people to do anything. It's all about investment. Will they pay the price? Spend the time reading the money, what they need to do? I was talking to a guy today who's ultra ultra wealthy, who started out with my former partner. And he would never have been able to pay my partner's rates today. And I said, You mean, you wouldn't have charged it on your credit card at least to find out? You know, what he could do for you? And so the people that I see that really want it, some people just charge it on the credit card, but they don't do it. Others? Do, they charge it on the credit card, and they've got that credit card paid off and are able to really fly with the overtime? Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 48:00 so and I was delivered and asking the question the way I did, but it isn't how do we get people to do things? What is it that will make people understand that they need to change? I mean, you've been coaching a long time. And I know there's not one key but what, what, more often than not is the trigger that make people go, Ah, I gotta really think more about this.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 48:27 You know, there are a lot of things in life traumas, car accidents, deaths, losses, that move people into that. There's a thing called a sociopath is sociopaths, not wanting to get divorced, will sometimes start looking at themselves for the first time. And so but but I think that, that Adlerian analysis, when people understand that there is an objective way to look at who they are today, it's your strengths and your weaknesses, as revealed by that lifestyle analysis we started playing with with you, then as you understand that there really is a way to do it, and it is systematic and reproducible, then the game starts really shifting, but most of the world doesn't believe it's possible because so many people are selling so much horse manure. Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 49:21 And we haven't learned to separate all the negative negativity in as you said, the horsemen or from from the positive stuff, we, we just haven't really learned how to do that and the people who have can really start to deal with it. One of the things that I have experienced over the past several years, especially with the pandemic is that for years I would travel and speak and tell people about my story and people said, well, you're blind. Of course you didn't know what happened. I point out well, the airplane had 18 floors above us on the other side of the building I got to tell you, nobody knew Superman and X ray vision are fictitious. Right? Well, but then the the other part about it is that what I realized over time was that the reason I wasn't afraid was that I prepared. I learned all about the World Trade Center, I learned what the emergency evacuation procedures were, I learned why they were as they were. And so when something actually happened, I was prepared for it. I didn't need to worry about reading signs. And if I had been in the building alone, I would have just been able to evacuate. But I wasn't alone. And we got some guests out. And then a colleague who was in from our corporate office, David Frank, and I went to the stairs, and we started down. But the reality is that what I learned was that for me, I, in fact, was not talking about why I wasn't afraid. And I didn't teach people how to learn to control here. So we're writing a book about that. And, and so I'm, I'm realizing that what I can help people do is recognize that you can learn to control fear, it's not that it's going to go away. And if you tell me, you're never afraid, I won't buy it. But you can learn to use fear in a powerful way, rather than letting it as I put it, blind you or overwhelm you,   Dr. Bob Wright ** 51:27 by preparing as you prepared the primary formula. First of all, we don't control it. But by preparing it doesn't grip us at the same level. We have pathways that we've already created. So you had created those pathways inside of yourself. And so sure you were afraid, but you had the fear motivating you along pathways for which you had prepared.   Michael Hingson ** 51:51 That's right. Help others. That's right. And we did and at one point going down the stairs, David panicked and said, Mike, we're going to die. We're not going to make it out of here and then and I just snapped at him. I'd love to joke about it and say, since I have a secondary teaching credential, I took that secret course voice 101 How to yell at students but you know, the the reality is that that what I did it I just snapped at David. I said, stop it, David, if Rosella and I can go down the stairs, so can you. And after that, he said, I'm going to I got to take my mind off of what's going on. And he walked the floor below me, went all the way down the stairs, he shouted up to me what he was seeing on the stairs. Now, did I need David to do that? No. But I knew that it would help David be more comfortable. But it had another effect, which again, was something that I figured out later. And that is that, as David was shouting up, hey, I'm at the 44th floor. This is where the Port Authority cafeteria is, we're not going to stop we're going on down. People above us. And below us. Many, many floors hurt him. And he gave them something to focus on. And I think that he did so much, not even thinking about it or realizing it to help people not panic as we went down the stairs, which was so cool. Oh, I   Dr. Bob Wright ** 53:07 just love it. So let's but let's go back. So, So fear is the primary the most basic emotion if you stay alive, sure. So you were afraid for him, not for you, but for him. And so you slapped him out of it. So you harvest your anger. So fear, fear, hurt, anger, sadness, and joy are the critical emotions that are fully foundational emotions. And so you have a relationship with your fear as few of us but in some ways, maybe. And you actually were able to harness anger as the crossover emotion between fear and joy. So you kept him alive, harnessing your anger to slap him out of it. And he became the leader he could become. Yeah. And needed.   Michael Hingson ** 53:56 Right. Well, and that's it's part of the story that that I think is he's such an unsung hero and what happened on September 11, because I know he had to keep so many people focused because they had someone to focus on. And someone who they could hear who was all right, no matter where they were on the stairs. Somebody else was okay, somewhere.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 54:21 So first of all, he was a leader right in relationship to you,   Michael Hingson ** 54:25 by definition. Well, in some ways, yeah.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 54:29 So you slapped him back into his leadership mode. And even though you didn't need it, he started leaving you in his own mind, but he was actually leaving everybody down those   Michael Hingson ** 54:40 steps. He was, you know, that was one of the things that he did his he was only in for the day from our corporate office. But but he but you know, the two of us, between us there were a lot of ways people also said to me later, we followed you down the stairs because we heard you praising your dog and We heard you staying calm. So we were calm. We followed you. Yeah. So we, in a in a very well, unpredictable isn't the right word but a very subtle way we the two of us really helped a lot of people. Oh   Dr. Bob Wright ** 55:15 my god, you guys formed the most amazing impromptu leadership team.   Michael Hingson ** 55:19 Right. Holy cow. I   Dr. Bob Wright ** 55:21 love it. Yeah. Well, isn't that cool? Oh, it's beyond cool. That is way beyond Cool.   Michael Hingson ** 55:27 Well, this has been fun. We need to do it again. And we need to get Judith involved. So we got to do   Dr. Bob Wright ** 55:33 another one of these. Absolutely looking forward to it. But   Michael Hingson ** 55:37 I really appreciate you being here. And I want to thank you and I want to thank you all for listening to us today. I hope that you enjoyed it. And and you heard Bob analyze me a little bit and it was a lot of fun and No, no problem at all. So we'll have to do more of it and and have another time together which I think would be fun. But I want to thank you for listening to us. Love to hear your comments. Please reach out. You can reach me Mike hingson at and my email address is Michael h i m i c h a e l h i at accessiBe A c c e s s i b e.com. Michael h i at accessibe.com Or go to our podcast page www dot Michael Hingson m i c h a e l h i n g s o n.com/podcast love to get your thoughts please give us a five star rating wherever you're listening to us. We value that and really appreciate all that you have to say. Bob if people want to reach out to you how do they do that?   Dr. Bob Wright ** 56:37 Well my website for now until we put them all together is Bob Wrightdot com or D r. B o b W r i  g h t dot com My email, which is easier right now we're in transition. The new company, as you heard will be live right with Judith and Bob. But right now D r. B, o b at Judith and bob.com D R B O B at J U D I T  A N D B .com. Cool.   Michael Hingson ** 57:04 Well, thanks again for doing this. It has been fun. And let us definitely set up another time and do another one of these.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 57:13 We've got more to talk about in so many ways, sooner than later while we're still putting together the web universe.   Michael Hingson ** 57:20 Perfect. Glad to do it. Well, thanks again for being here.   Dr. Bob Wright ** 57:23 Thank you so much.   **Michael Hingson ** 57:28 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.

This episode is an adapted version of a presentation that Adam Barfoot, M.Ed., LPC-MHSP, gave at the 2024 Tennessee Licensed Professional Counselors Conference in Nashville, Tennessee on June 15th, 2024. In this episode, Adam discusses the therapeutic skill of encouragement, the Adlerian philosophical concepts of how all actions are purposeful, phenomenology (which means therapists understanding their clients' perspectives), and lifestyle (which means the client's blueprint for facing challenges in life). Adam also discusses the 4 phases of Adlerian therapy in this episode. While this episode, is not a complete overview of Adlerian therapy, this episode is about how Adam specifically implements Adlerian therapy with clients who are in recovery from addiction. Adam's website: https://www.adambarfoottherapy.com/ Email: counselingandfunctionalfitness@gmail.com Books mentioned in this episode: Introduction to Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy by Dr. Timothy Barclay, Adlerian Psychotherapy by Jon Carlson and Matt Englar-Carlson, Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy by Gerald Corey, Why Therapy Works by Louis Cozolino, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey Research articles mentioned in this episode: An Adlerian Perspective on Cognitive Restructuring and Treating Depression by Peter Emerson, Gary Gintner, and John West, Adlerian "Encouragement" and the Therapeutic Process of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy by Dale Pietrzak and Richard Watts, Adlerian Counseling: A Viable Approach for Contemporary Practice by Richard Watts --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/counselingandfitness/support

Meaghan Haley discusses her journey from a trauma-filled childhood that led her to seek out support from an Adlerian counsellor, to becoming an Adlerian therapist and teacher herself. Now she is the mother of three young children (ages 5, 2.5 and 1) and she is being challenged to practice what she has learned in a whole new way. If you worry about being a “good enough” mom, give this a listen! Check out Meaghan here at www.megtherapy.comDo you have a parenting question for me? Send it in to hello@alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I am so excited to be launching this podcast. In this intro episode, I explain my Adlerian family history and some of the core concepts of Adlerian psychology from which I give parenting advice. So glad to have you onboard. Please feel free to share with your friends, subscribe and write a review! Happy ParentingAlysonwww.alysonschafer.comDo you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. I am using your Adlerian parenting approaches but my husband has not studied them yet. How can I manage our different parenting styles? Q2. I am trying your techniques on ignoring when the kids fight and just walking away, but they follow me or they get physical with one another. What do I do?Q3. My kids are using Zoom calls to stay connected with friends but when I check they were being disrespectful and just watching a friend play instead of visiting with one another. Q4. My daughter is using tech to stay connected with her friends more since Covid. Now that they are all online, they are excluding my daughter on FaceTime group chats like “mean girls”.Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Could AI replace standard counselling? It's certainly cheaper. With the trend towards “manualizing” therapy, maybe we are closer than we know. How do you feel about that? How scared should we be? Adlerian counsellor and teacher/trainer, Calvin Armerding, shares his thoughts with me. Read the original article and other posts from Calvin on his Substack at:https://calvindarmerding.substack.com/Follow Calvin on social media at: https://www.instagram.com/henosispress/ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLe4ACV00vWcS3DTATvos1XVm2MhTKSq2Z https://www.instagram.com/travelersrest.counseling/ https://twitter.com/ArmerdingC***************************I am always looking for questions for the Q&A episodes. You can send me your questions at hello@alysonschafer.com For more of my advice, check out my website: www.alysonschafer.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. 9yr old son is not trying and his confidence is dwindling.Q2. 14yr old son with type1 diabetes is too lazy to take his insulin at school. Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast. If you have a question you'd like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Freedom is being disliked, spiritual grandiosity, Adlerian psychology, why you are clingy and the cure, and MORE Q&A in Costa Rica. Get Your 20% Organifi Discount here: ➡️ https://www.organifi.com/aaron if you want to join my free new community OFF of FB join here I'll be going LIVE with workshops and doing live meditations. join it here ➡️: https://www.skool.com/aum-meditations-2421/about

Q1. 10yr old son having difficulty with change (new items in home).Plus, my thoughts on under- and over-functioning parenting.Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast. If you have a question you'd like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr Marina Bluvshtein is a renowned researcher and archivist of Adler's life. She shares how the events of his life shaped the development of his theory we know as Individual Psychology. In this conversation, Marina shares Adler's own parenting journey and how his theory, and that of Rudolf Dreikurs, came together to still be an evolving, optimistic parenting model. Links mentioned in the show: Learn more about the Adlerian Summer School known as ICASSI Check out the offerings at the Adler Academy of MinnesotaAnd write directly to Dr Bluvshtein at mbluvshtein@adler.edu to learn more about Adlerian training events in Chicago, Vancouver and online. On social media, you can find Dr Bluvshtein on FB. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. 6 year old hits and gets angry when he doesn't get his wayQ2. 7 year old tells “creative stories” about how his day was (aka lying). Q3. 2.5 year old is defiant with screaming fits esp on waking in the night.Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast. If you have a question you'd like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Adlerian father/daughter duo Ted Wohlfarth and Marjie Longshore talk about their impressive work in using games and play to create unique experiences for developing the skills and felt experiences needed to help build peaceful, win-win relationships. You'll hear how their game methods and unique scoring system can be useful at home, in the classroom, the workplace and indeed anywhere people gather. Check out The Family Leadership Center website And social media FB Or on IG @the_4cfamilyIf you would like to support the work of The Family Leadership Center which is a non-profit organization, you can donate to their “A Peaceful World Starts At Home” campaign that furthers their work. Check out the free games and resources at EnTeam's websiteHere is the summary of some of EnTeam's corporate success stories:https://familyleadershipcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Manufacturing-Plant-Turnaround.pdfhttps://familyleadershipcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/International-Pharmaceutical-Company-.pdfhttps://familyleadershipcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Electric-Power-Plant-Teamwork.pdfAnd follow EnTeams on social media FBLinkedIn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. Kindergartener doesn't want to go to school and explodes.Q2. Even with all the Adlerian approaches, 10 and 12 yr old sisters still fight.Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast. If you have a question you'd like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When developing a psychological theory the question “what drives behavior” must be answered. For Frankl it was meaning, for Freud it was pleasure, and for Adler it was a will to power, it was social responsibility, belonging, family constellation and birth order. Join Dave and Greg as they discuss another psychological juggernaut, Alfred Adler. Support the showFollow Modern Therapist's Guide to Nothing on social media:Instagram: @moderntherapistsguidetonothingTwitter: @MTGN_PodcastIntro and Outro music by 13th Ward Social ClubFollow on Instagram at @13thwardsocialclub and visit https://www.13thwardsocialclub.com/

Come discuss the concepts behind Adlerian psychology based on the books The Courage To Be Disliked and The Courage to by Happy written by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. This conversation is great if you're looking for some motivation to let go of the need to be liked, the determinism that comes from believing your past has to dictate your future and the agreements that can make like feel heavy and complicated and instead find the courage it takes to let yourself be happy and free!  If you want early access to videos, bonus checklists, join the yoga studio, come to community events, enter monthly challenges or have more cozy/motivational content be sure to join the All Things Koze channel & become a member. To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/KalynsCoffeeTalkYT Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/KalynsCoffeeTalk If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/KalynsCoffeeTalk All Things Koze Blog & Shop ▹ https://allthingskoze.com/ All Things Koze Instagram ▹ https://www.instagram.com/allthingskoze/ Koze Flow Instagram ▹ https://www.instagram.com/kozeflow/ Kalyn's Instagram ▹ https://www.instagram.com/kalynnicholson13/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices