Podcast appearances and mentions of jennifer wallace

You are not overreacting. Your nervous system is not broken. It is doing exactly what it learned to do in environments where threat was the norm. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof close out Season Five with one of the most important and least understood concepts in complex trauma: emotional flashbacks. Not the cinematic kind, not a sudden memory of a specific event, but the quiet, whole-system state shift that can color an entire day, week, or month in dread, loneliness, shame, and the bone-deep certainty that nothing will ever be okay. The episode opens with a reframe that changes everything: an emotional flashback is not a regression to the past. It is a real-time nervous system state that reorganizes how the brain filters reality. Perception shifts. Interpretation shifts. What feels possible shifts. And because it happens at the level of the whole predictive network, not just a single memory, it does not feel like the past. It feels like now. It feels like truth. Elisabeth and Jennifer trace exactly how this works through the lens of neuro somatic intelligence, constructed emotion theory, and the science of predictive processing. They explain what neuro tags are and how they get activated, why the amygdala hijack model is outdated and what a more accurate understanding of emotional flashbacks actually looks like, and why calling these states irrational or disordered misses the point entirely. The nervous system is not malfunctioning. It is preparing for threat based on what it has reliably learned to expect. Both hosts share vivid and honest personal examples. Elisabeth describes a recent subtle flashback triggered by being sick, underresourced, and feeling unsupported by her partner, and how quickly the narrative spread to her business, her relationships, and her sense of being completely alone. Jennifer shares the story of a red hummingbird feeder in her backyard that unlocked an entire somatic memory of loneliness and isolation she had not yet consciously connected to childhood. The episode also addresses something practitioners often ask about: how to tell the difference between emotional dysregulation that needs regulating, and an emotion that needs to be felt and moved through. The answer is not a clean line but a question of capacity, flexibility, and what the nervous system can hold in that moment. This is the final episode of Season Five and a natural bridge into Season Six, where Jennifer and Elisabeth will be expanding the lens from individual healing to collective nervous system dynamics, cultural structures, and what becomes possible when this work moves beyond the personal. Chapters 0:00 - Emotional Flashbacks Are Not Regressions. They Are Reality Shifts. 0:38 - Welcome: Closing the Season With Emotional Flashbacks 1:59 - What Neuro Tags Are and How They Get Activated 3:43 - Why Emotional Flashbacks Are Hard to Identify, Especially at First 4:42 - Constructed Emotion Theory and How the Brain Builds Emotional Reality 6:22 - How Physiology Shifts Perception: The Whole System View 7:37 - What It Feels Like From the Inside 9:22 - When You Have Lived in Flashbacks So Long They Feel Like Reality 10:31 - Elisabeth's Recent Subtle Flashback: Sick, Underresourced, and the Narrative That Spread 12:21 - Why Emotional Flashbacks in Complex Trauma Last Days, Weeks, or Longer 14:11 - How to Start Recognizing When You Are In One 15:22 - Moving Beyond Amygdala Hijacking: A More Accurate Model 18:27 - What Modern Neuroscience Actually Says About Emotion and the Brain 21:31 - Emotional Flashbacks as Coherent State Shifts, Not System Failures 23:42 - Why Sensory Precision Matters and What Happens When It Decreases 25:38 - Implicit Memory: How the Past Lives in the Body Without a Story 29:07 - Jennifer's Story: The Red Hummingbird Feeder 30:30 - How Safety States Open New Memory Files 31:41 - The Disproportionate Feeling and the Shame That Comes With It 32:30 - The Flashback Voice Speaks in Absolutes 33:26 - What Triggers Emotional Flashbacks: Sensory Cues, Patterns, and Relational Shifts 36:15 - It Is Not Trying to Remember. It Is Trying to Prepare. 36:42 - Dysregulation vs Emotion That Needs to Be Processed: A Real Question 40:45 - Flexibility as the Key Marker of Growth 41:41 - How NSI Practices Help Shift Neuro Tags in Real Time 43:44 - Closing the Season and a Preview of Season Six Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics    Join us inside Rewire: This is where you actually experience the practices Jennifer and Elisabeth talk about on the podcast that brought us freedom, self-attunement, a new relationship with food and our body.  rewiretrial.com   Explore the neurosomatics of boundaries: boundaryrewire.com   Introduction to neurosomatics for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/   Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence: https://stan.store/illuminated   Join Jennifer on Sacred Synapse to explore the intersection of neurosomatics and Psychedelic neuroscience: https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23   Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors:  FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired   Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

Jennifer Wallace joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked foundation of mental health and resilience: the human need to feel like we matter. While so much of parenting focuses on what we do for our kids, this conversation invites us to look inward, because a child's sense of mattering is deeply shaped by how much their parents feel valued, seen, and significant in their own lives. Drawing from research and real-life stories, we unpack why so many adults today feel invisible, overwhelmed, or defined by achievement, and how that shapes the way we show up in our relationships with our children.   Together we explore:   - What it actually means to "matter" and why it's different from self-esteem or a sense of purpose. - Why parents today are at risk of feeling like they don't matter, and how that impacts their kids. - The connection between mattering, anxiety, burnout, and loneliness. - A simple framework for building deeper, more meaningful relationships. - Why "delight" is a critical ingredient in helping children feel secure and valued. - How to model a healthy sense of self so your child doesn't feel pressure to be your "everything." - Practical ways to help kids both feel valued and add value in their families and communities. - How showing others they matter can actually be the fastest way to feel like you matter too.   This conversation is a reminder that parenting doesn't happen in a vacuum. When we feel grounded in our own worth, supported by meaningful relationships and a sense of connection, we create the conditions for our children to internalize that same belief: you matter, just as you are.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

Social anxiety is often framed as shyness, insecurity, or fear of judgment. But for many people living with complex trauma, social anxiety is a nervous system output shaped by chronic relational stress, sensory overwhelm, hypervigilance, masking, shame, and learned survival patterns.  In this episode of Trauma Rewired, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof explore how complex trauma changes social engagement, why connection can feel exhausting, the role of the inner critic and toxic shame, sensory processing, nervous system overload, people pleasing, social fatigue, masking, emotional suppression, and post-traumatic growth.  We discuss why awareness alone does not create change, how nervous system rehabilitation supports healing, and what becomes possible when safety, capacity, and authentic expression begin to grow. If social situations leave you drained, overthinking, scanning for danger, withdrawing, overperforming, or feeling exhausted afterward, this conversation offers a new lens for understanding why. Chapters 0:00 - Social Anxiety as a Full Nervous System Output 0:36 - Welcome: Social Anxiety Through the Lens of Complex Trauma 1:30 - Elisabeth: Why She Never Identified as Having Social Anxiety 2:46 - The Post-Social Binge, the Crash, and What the Outputs Were Saying 4:03 - Jennifer: How Alcohol, Food, and Cannabis Got Her Through Social Situations 5:33 - Scanning the Room, Monitoring Everyone, and Masking It All 7:25 - What Shifting Capacity Actually Looked Like at a Recent Social Event 9:09 - Discernment vs Avoidance: Knowing Your Real Capacity 12:17 - The Neuroscience: Social Anxiety as a Protective Output 13:41 - How the Output Becomes the Input: The Spiral Loop 14:07 - Fight, Flight, Fawn, Freeze in Social Settings 16:07 - Why Masking Is Metabolically Costly 17:29 - How the Inner Critic and Toxic Shame Compound Social Anxiety 21:43 - Sensory Mismatch, Sensory Overwhelm, and Why They Drive Social Anxiety 24:39 - Why Social Environments Are Especially Demanding Sensory Spaces 26:43 - HPA Axis Dysregulation and Chronic Relational Stress 32:12 - Tired but Wired: What It Is and Why It Happens 35:28 - Post-Traumatic Growth and Increasing Relational Range 38:22 - Introvert or Trauma Response? An Important Distinction 40:31 - Micro Exposures, Recalibration, and Growth That Does Not Erase Sensitivity 41:00 - Human Design, Boundaries, and Knowing What Is Yours 43:09 - Neurodivergence, Neuro Abundance, and Social Overwhelm 43:29 - Authenticity, Expression, and Feeling Safe in Your Own Body First   Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics    Join us inside Rewire: This is where you actually experience the practices Jennifer and Elisabeth talk about on the podcast that brought us freedom, self-attunement, a new relationship with food and our body.  rewiretrial.com   Explore the neurosomatics of boundaries: boundaryrewire.com   Introduction to neurosomatics for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/   Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence: https://stan.store/illuminated   Join Jennifer on Sacred Synapse to explore the intersection of neurosomatics and Psychedelic neuroscience: https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23   Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors:  FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired   Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Elisabeth's work at brainbased.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

There is a difference between feeling ashamed and living inside shame. One is a passing signal. The other is the background atmosphere of an entire nervous system. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof go deep on toxic shame as the next distinguishing characteristic of complex trauma in their CPT series. This is one of the most personal episodes they have recorded. Both hosts share what shame actually sounded like at its loudest in their lives, the specific words, the body states, the loops that ran for years before they had any way to interrupt them. And they are honest about where they still meet it today. Toxic shame in complex trauma is not just a feeling that shows up after a mistake. It is an identity state. It shifts from "I did something wrong" to "I am wrong." It shapes posture, vocal tone, breath, gaze, and the way the body interprets every social interaction as potential exposure or rejection. And because it developed in relationship, specifically in environments where expressing needs or emotions led to punishment, abandonment, or humiliation, it becomes deeply tied to every relational experience that follows. Elisabeth and Jennifer trace the full arc of how shame develops, from the child who cannot afford to see their caregiver as unsafe and so turns the blame inward, to the adult who moves through professional and personal relationships with a chronic bracing for exposure. They cover the neurobiology in depth: what the insula, default mode network, and vagus nerve have to do with chronic shame states, why shame can both amplify and numb internal sensation at the same time, and how shame formation, the physiological pairing of emotional shame states with immune and inflammatory responses, helps explain the health outcomes seen in adverse childhood experience research. The conversation also covers the double bind of shame in complex trauma, the trap of needing connection while also bracing for what connection has always brought. How shame drives substance use and disordered eating as regulation strategies. How systemic and cultural forces layer onto developmental shame in ways that make the pattern larger than any individual. And what post-traumatic growth actually looks like here: not confidence, not the absence of shame, but a little more space between the wave and the response, a little longer staying present in the body before the collapse happens, and gradually, relationships where being imperfect does not mean being abandoned. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why toxic shame in complex trauma shifts from an emotion into an identity state How shame develops as a survival strategy when caregivers are unsafe and self-blame becomes the only available adaptation Why shame is not just cognitive but embodied, showing up in posture, vocal tone, breath, gaze, and gesture What shame formation is and how chronic shame states are linked to inflammation, immune dysregulation, and the health outcomes in ACE research How the insula, default mode network, and vagus nerve are involved in chronic shame patterning Why shame can simultaneously amplify and numb internal sensation and what that means for healing The double bind of shame: needing connection while bracing against it How systemic and cultural shaming layers onto developmental shame and why the nervous system cannot fully distinguish between them How shame drives substance use and disordered eating as regulation strategies and why the shame-use cycle is so hard to interrupt What post-traumatic growth looks like in relation to shame: not the absence of it, but increased range, flexibility, and capacity to stay present with it How accountability, relational repair, and allowing others to have their own experience gradually shifts the shame pattern   Chapters 0:00 - The Difference Between Feeling Ashamed and Living Inside Shame  0:33 - Welcome: Toxic Shame Through the Lens of Complex PTSD  1:54 - What Shame Actually Is: A Whole Body Physiological Response  2:14 - When Shame Becomes an Identity State  3:01 - Shame in the Body: Posture, Voice, Breath, and Withdrawal  3:34 - Systemic and Cultural Shame: When the Group Itself Is Dysregulated  5:55 - Shame as the Emotion That Represses All Other Emotions  7:15 - How Shame Develops in Complex Trauma: The Child Who Cannot Blame the Caregiver  8:48 - Everything Is My Fault as a State of Being  9:43 - Jennifer and Elisabeth Share What Shame Sounded Like at Its Loudest  11:28 - How Shame Physically Inhibits Expression  12:09 - The Double Bind: Needing Connection While Bracing Against It  14:00 - The Neurobiology: Insula, Freeze, Dissociation, and No Safe Discharge  17:31 - Large Scale Neural Patterning: DMN Loops, Reward Signaling, and Oxytocin  18:36 - What Shame Looks Like Now for Jennifer and Elisabeth  23:51 - Shame Formation: Inflammation, the Vagus Nerve, and ACE Research  26:43 - The Shame and Substance Use Cycle  30:28 - How Both Hosts Used Substances to Regulate Shame  34:15 - Systemic Shame and the Brain's Drive for Belonging  36:10 - What Post-Traumatic Growth Actually Looks Like With Shame  38:51 - Relational Healing: Repair, Accountability, and Letting Someone Love You Imperfectly  41:14 - Allowing Another Person to Have Their Experience Without Collapsing   Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Elisabeth's work at brainbased.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

Jennifer Wallace shares about her book, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose on episode 622 of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast. Quotes from the episode Mattering says you belong at the table, but it goes even further, and it says you would be missed if you weren’t here. You are adding value, and we would notice if you weren’t here. -Jennifer Wallace We have so much input and so much output being demanded of us today that often we go through life on autopilot. -Jennifer Wallace Mattering is not another thing to add to your to-do list. Mattering is a way of looking at your to-do list. -Jennifer Wallace When you look at the data on what drives performance, it is engagement. And what drives engagement is mattering. -Jennifer Wallace Resources Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, by Jennifer Wallace Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It, by Jennifer Wallace Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, by Robert D. Putnam Jennifer Wallace’s Website Mattering Movement Gallup-Purdue Index Report Nancy Schlossberg's Transition Theory World Spins Madly On WeRateDogs – This is Sadie. Sign up to be a Mattering Ambassador

Everyone has a critical inner voice. But if you grew up in an environment shaped by chronic relational stress, that voice does not just comment. It runs. It loops. It drives your body into a stress state before you have even finished the thought. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof explore the inner critic as the next distinguishing characteristic of complex trauma in their ongoing CPT series. This is not a conversation about toxic positivity or affirmations. It is a precise, neuroscience-grounded look at why the inner critic develops, what it is actually doing in the brain and nervous system, and what it genuinely takes to loosen its grip over time. The inner critic is a predictive safety mechanism. It developed to preempt rejection, suppress behaviors that previously led to punishment, and maintain attachment in environments where connection felt conditional. It is not your core self. It is a learned neural pattern rooted in threat detection and self-referential processing that, once formed, keeps running because it worked. Or at least, it worked enough. Jennifer and Elisabeth trace how chronic relational stress reorganizes the default mode network around threat rather than flexible identity development, what the medial prefrontal cortex and posterior cingulate cortex have to do with rumination and shame-based identity loops, and why children with developmental trauma learn to blame themselves for relational failures that were never their fault in the first place. They also go deep on the outward expression of the same pattern: the external critic, the person who micromanages, projects, and stays braced and guarded because the nervous system is still predicting the letdown. Both hosts bring this into their own lived experience with real honesty. Elisabeth talks about the constant body-focused narrator that used to run during recording sessions. Jennifer shares what the inner critic sounds like when she is launching something new and putting her voice out into the world. Neither of them is pretending it is gone. They are showing what it looks like when it no longer runs the show. The episode closes with practical, nervous system-grounded pathways for working with the inner critic, including why celebration and reward matter more than positive thinking, how oxytocin-mediated safety gradually quiets social threat monitoring, and why the most important move is not arguing with the voice but interrupting the loop at the body level first. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why the inner critic is a predictive nervous system adaptation, not a reflection of truth or identity How chronic relational stress reorganizes the default mode network around threat and self-monitoring What the medial prefrontal cortex and posterior cingulate cortex have to do with rumination and the inner critic Why children with developmental trauma internalize relational failures as personal flaws How perfectionism, body criticism, and post-performance crashes are all outputs of the same underlying pattern What the external critic is, why it always coexists with a loud inner critic, and how to recognize it in yourself Why you cannot think your way out of the inner critic loop and what actually interrupts it How the ventral striatum and reward signaling can be used to reinforce new behaviors and self-expression Why oxytocin-mediated safety, through connection, touch, nature, and sensory pleasure, reduces the social threat driving the critic What post-traumatic growth actually looks like in relation to the inner critic: not eliminating it, but expanding capacity beyond it Chapter Markers 0:00 - The Inner Critic as a Distinguishing Characteristic of Complex Trauma 0:58 - Welcome: What the Inner Critic Actually Is 1:49 - Jennifer and Elisabeth Share Their Own Inner Critic Experiences 4:36 - Why This Matters: Recognizing Complex Trauma in the Patterns 5:33 - The Difference Between a Normal Inner Critic and a Trauma-Amplified One 7:11 - The Neuro Biology: How the Inner Critic Develops as a Protective Pattern 8:28 - How Authenticity Becomes a Threat Signal 10:38 - The Default Mode Network and Self-Referential Rumination 13:52 - What the Growth Edge Actually Feels Like in Practice 17:05 - The Brain Science: The Default Mode Network, Medial PFC, and Posterior Cingulate 19:22 - Why Developmental Trauma Teaches Children to Blame Themselves 21:10 - How to Interrupt the Loop: Sensory Anchoring, Movement, and Tools 23:18 - Working With State to Shift the Story 24:51 - Perfectionism as an Output of the Inner Critic 28:11 - Why We Stay Stuck in the Loop Even When We Know Better 29:12 - The Ventral Striatum, Reward Signaling, and Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters 35:57 - Oxytocin, Social Safety, and Softening the Hypervigilance 39:49 - The External Critic: When the Inner Voice Gets Projected Outward 43:03 - Post-Traumatic Growth and the Inner Critic: What Actually Changes Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics    Join us inside Rewire: This is where you actually experience the practices Jennifer and Elisabeth talk about on the podcast that brought us freedom, self-attunement, a new relationship with food and our body.  rewiretrial.com   Explore the neurosomatics of boundaries: boundaryrewire.com   Introduction to neurosomatics for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/   Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence: https://stan.store/illuminated   Join Jennifer on Sacred Synapse to explore the intersection of neurosomatics and Psychedelic neuroscience: https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23   Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors:  FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

The deepest wound in complex trauma is not emotional intensity. It is the learned loss of connection to yourself. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof open the next chapter of the CPT series by starting where the roots go deepest: self-abandonment. This is the pattern they chose to name first—and intentionally so—because when the nervous system learns that staying connected to the self is unsafe, nearly every other complex trauma response grows from that adaptation. Self-abandonment is not a personality flaw or a lack of self-awareness. It is a body-based survival strategy. From a neurosomatic perspective, it is a state-dependent loss of interoceptive access—a patterned inhibition of internal signals that the nervous system learned in order to stay attached, stay safe, and maintain stability in the relational environment. And like every other output explored in this series, it made complete sense at the time it formed. The conversation moves through the neuroscience of dissociation and how it is inseparable from self-abandonment, the brain regions involved, and what their altered activity actually looks like in everyday life. It explores the fawn response—including its lesser-discussed dimension of sexual fawning—and the specific pathways through which emotional neglect and parentification set the stage for chronic self-erasure. Jennifer and Elisabeth also trace how masking—whether in the context of neurodivergence, complex trauma, or systemic oppression—is another expression of the same root pattern: authenticity does not feel safe, so the self gets hidden. But this episode does not stop at the wound. Both hosts share what the growth edge of this pattern has actually looked like for them—what building interoceptive capacity from the ground up felt like in practice—and how self-attunement, the skill of staying present with internal experience without becoming overwhelmed by it, gradually became accessible rather than threatening. This is not a quick-fix episode. It is an honest, grounded map of one of the most pervasive and least visible patterns in complex trauma—and a clear-eyed account of what actually changes it.   In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why self abandonment is a survival adaptation rooted in the nervous system, not a character flaw How interoceptive access becomes inhibited under chronic relational threat, and what that feels like day to day The neuroscience of dissociation: which brain regions are involved and how their altered activity drives functional disconnection Why emotional neglect, even without overt harm, sets the stage for chronic self erasure How parentification creates a nervous system template of self abandonment that persists long into adulthood What fawn response is, how it operates neurologically, and why sexual fawning is a real and undernamed expression of it How masking across contexts including neurodivergence, complex trauma, and racial and systemic oppression overlaps with and compounds self abandonment What self attunement actually is as a nervous system skill and how it is different from insight or emotional processing alone Why healing is capacity-based rather than cathartic, and what that means for pacing How both hosts have rebuilt interoceptive access over time and what that process has opened up for them Chapters 0:00 - The Deepest Wound in Complex Trauma Is Not Emotional Intensity 0:38 - Welcome: Who This Episode Is For 1:27 - Introducing the CPT Series and Why We Start With Self Abandonment 2:53 - Defining Self Abandonment as a Nervous System Output 4:21 - Pete Walker, Fawn Responses, and How the Child Learns to Attune Outward 4:47 - The Neuro Somatic View: Interoceptive Access Under Chronic Threat 6:08 - Embodiment as the Opposite of Self Abandonment 6:35 - Collective and Intergenerational Dimensions of Self Abandonment 7:55 - What Self Abandonment Looks Like in Real Life: A Case Study 9:21 - Dissociation: What It Actually Is and Why It Is Inseparable From Self Abandonment 10:42 - Brain Science: The Insula, Hippocampus, Amygdala, and Thalamus 14:35 - The Fawn Response and Sexual Fawning 18:17 - Self Attunement: The Opposite of Self Abandonment 21:06 - Rebuilding Interoception: Starting Small 27:19 - Emotional Neglect as the Root of Self Abandonment 29:13 - Parentification and the Template of Self Erasure 31:21 - Masking: Neurodivergence, Systemic Oppression, and Complex Trauma 36:19 - What Growth Has Actually Looked Like for Jennifer and Elisabeth 40:20 - Stress Bucket Dysmorphia and Learning Your Real Capacity Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23   Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

In this episode, I'm joined by the fantastic Jennifer Breheny Wallace - award-winning journalist, researcher, and author of Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. We explore what it truly means to matter  and how so many of us have been taught to seek validation instead of creating real connection. Jennifer shares powerful insights into why loneliness is rising, how hyper-independence is quietly disconnecting us, and what we can do to rebuild a sense of belonging and purpose in our lives. If you've been craving deeper connection, more meaning, or a stronger sense of your place in the world, this conversation will feel grounding, reassuring, and incredibly relevant. We talk about: The difference between seeking validation and genuinely adding value to others Why hyper-independence is leaving us lonely and what we actually need How to apply "mattering" to add connection and purpose to your life Where your real power lies when the world around you keeps changing Where to find Jennifer: Website: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/ Instagram: @jenniferbrehenywallace Book: Mattering: https://amzn.to/3JAjpXV

Episode SummaryThis is more than a recap—it's a reckoning.After a powerful conversation with Jennifer Wallace, Jason and Garth come back together to unpack what might be one of the most important leadership ideas of our time: mattering.In a world that relentlessly pushes achievement, performance, and external validation, this episode asks a deeper question:Do the people around us feel like they truly matter—no matter what?Through the lens of attunement, the SAID framework, and the idea of being a “corner person,” this conversation brings leadership back to its human core. It's about shifting from managing performance… to affirming worth.This episode is the emotional and intellectual closer to a powerful triad—and it lands with clarity, urgency, and heart.Key TopicsWhy mattering is emerging as a defining issue in leadership and societyThe hidden cost of achievement culture on well-beingThe SAID Framework (See, Acknowledge, Include, Depend) as a daily leadership practiceAttunement as the leadership superpower we don't talk about enoughThe “corner person” concept and why everyone needs oneHow gratitude and acknowledgment build cultures of belongingPractical ways to embed mattering into organizational lifeMattering is not a soft skill—it's a survival skill.People thrive when they know their worth is unconditional, not tied to performance.Attunement is presence in action—it's noticing, listening, and responding with care.Great leaders don't just drive outcomes—they become corner people for others.Cultures don't drift toward mattering—they are built through intentional daily acts.Quotes“People feel that their worth is not conditional.”“The joy train is a leadership life skill.”“Let someone know they matter to you today.”“Attunement is how we show people they're seen—without needing them to perform.”Chapters00:00 – Introduction to Mattering and Leadership07:07 – Why Mattering Matters (Now More Than Ever)10:10 – The SAID Framework in Action12:51 – Attunement: The Missing Leadership Skill16:02 – The Power of Being a “Corner Person”19:04 – Gratitude, Acknowledgment, and Daily Practice22:03 – What This Means for Leaders Going ForwardKeywordsleadership, mattering, attunement, well-being, coaching, gratitude, organizational culture, leadership development, emotional intelligence, belonging, SAID framework, Jennifer Wallace, Never EnoughClosing ThoughtsIf the first conversation opened our eyes…and the second gave us language…This one gives us responsibility.Because once you understand mattering, you can't unknow it.And from that point forward, leadership becomes a daily choice:Will people feel seen, valued, and needed because of you?

You could not think your way out of the pattern. That is not a failure of insight. That is the nature of complex trauma. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof return to one of the most resonant threads in Trauma Rewired's history: complex post-traumatic stress. Several years ago they recorded a series on CPT that changed how thousands of listeners understood themselves. This is the revision. Not a replacement of what came before, but a deepening, one shaped by advances in trauma research, neuroscience, and by the hosts' own continued growth. The reframe at the center of this episode is one that matters: complex trauma is not a disorder. It is not something wrong with you. It is a predictive nervous system pattern, an intelligent set of adaptations shaped by prolonged relational stress, often beginning in childhood, that made complete sense in the environment they were formed in. The question is not what is wrong with you. The question is what did your nervous system learn and how can it learn something new? Elisabeth and Jennifer trace the history of CPT as a clinical concept, from Judith Hermann's early naming of what PTSD could not capture, through Pete Walker's lived experience framework, into the current neuroscience of predictive patterning, interoception, and the body as the site of both the wound and the healing. They explain why complex trauma has no single memory to point to, why it often lives in sensation and state rather than narrative, and why that means healing looks different here than it does for single-event trauma. The episode also goes deep on something that does not get named enough in healing spaces: the trap of the healing vortex. The way that understanding complex trauma can become its own form of nervous system activation, another thing to fix, another layer to excavate, another reason the system cannot rest. Real growth, they argue, requires repetition and safety and time, but it also requires rest, play, and the gradual experience of being okay in the present moment without urgency. This episode opens the new CPT series and previews what is coming: the inner critic, toxic shame, social anxiety, emotional flashbacks, and self-abandonment, each explored not as pathology but as nervous system strategies that once served a purpose and can now be worked with differently. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why complex trauma is better understood as a predictive nervous system pattern than a disorder The difference between CPT and PTSD and why that distinction matters for healing Why there is often no single memory in complex trauma, and why the experience lives in the body instead How interoception becomes disrupted in the context of chronic relational stress Why the nervous system seeks familiar environments, even harmful ones, and how that perpetuates the cycle How systemic and cultural trauma shapes the nervous system in the same way interpersonal trauma does What neuroplasticity actually requires: repetition, safety, and time, not insight alone Why pushing too hard into somatic work can backfire, and what pacing actually looks like How the healing vortex keeps people stuck and what stepping out of it makes possible What observer capacity is, why it is one of the most important markers of growth, and how it develops A preview of the five distinguishing characteristics of CPT that will be explored throughout the series     Chapter Markers 0:00 - CPT Shows Up Most Clearly in Relationships 1:13 - Welcome: Revisiting the Complex Trauma Series 2:04 - Why We Are Updating This Framework Now 4:25 - What Complex Trauma Is and Where the Term Came From 6:19 - Judith Hermann, Pete Walker, and Why This Language Matters 7:15 - Why We Use CPT Instead of CPTSD 8:07 - The Distinguishing Patterns: How Complex Trauma Shows Up 10:16 - DSM vs ICD-11: The Diagnosis Question 11:38 - CPT vs PTSD: Different Patterns, Different Healing 13:08 - When There Is No Memory: Implicit Patterning and the Developing Brain 15:20 - CPT as a Predictive Nervous System Pattern 17:09 - The Five Distinguishing Characteristics of CPT 18:07 - Trauma Lives in the Body, Not Just the Story 20:56 - Complex Trauma Is Fundamentally Relational 22:21 - Re-Patterning Secure Attachment Through Somatics 26:35 - Embodied Presence as the Foundation 29:55 - Systemic and Cultural Trauma: This Is Not Only Individual 34:24 - Pacing, Rest, and the Healing Vortex 37:24 - The Role of Play and Pleasure in Nervous System Re-Patterning 41:18 - Building Observer Capacity: The Shift From This Is Who I Am to This Is Happening in Me 43:22 - What Is Coming in the Rest of the CPT Series   Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Elisabeth's work at brainbased.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

Episode SummaryIn this episode of Lassoing Leadership, Jason Rogers and co-host Garth Nichols sit down with bestselling author Jennifer Wallace to explore one of the most important—and often overlooked—ideas in leadership and education today: mattering.Together, they unpack what happens when achievement becomes the only currency in schools, and how leaders can intentionally build cultures where students, staff, and communities feel seen, valued, and deeply connected.This is a conversation about shifting from pressure to purpose—and from performance to people.Why mattering is a fundamental human need—and how it shapes motivation, well-being, and performanceThe hidden costs of toxic achievement culture on students and educatorsHow small, intentional micro-moments of significance can transform school cultureThe role of gratitude and attunement in building authentic connectionThe power of a “corner person” and the idea of ego extension in supporting othersMattering isn't a bonus—it's foundational to healthy, thriving communitiesCulture shifts don't require massive overhauls—small moments, done well, matter mostRecognizing the person behind the performance builds trust and connectionMoving from a zero-sum mindset to one of shared success strengthens resilienceWhen schools prioritize mattering, the impact extends far beyond the classroom“Mattering is a fundamental human need.”“A corner person supports your ego extension.”“Attunement is feeling felt—truly understood.”Chapters00:00 — Introduction to Leadership and Mattering04:39 — Understanding Toxic Achievement Culture06:55 — Why Mattering Matters in Schools09:05 — Balancing Mattering and Achievement11:46 — Clean Fuel vs. Dirty Fuel12:59 — The Role of a Corner Person17:15 — The Power of Gratitude19:01 — Attunement: Feeling Felt22:05 — Advice for New School Leaders25:40 — OutroLinksJennifer Wallace — Website: https://jenniferbwallace.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferbrahennywallaceM&M's (as a simple symbol of appreciation): https://www.mms.comDan Siegel's work on attunement: https://www.dansiegel.com

You were not failing at your diet. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it learned to do to survive. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof go deep on one of the most personal and most pervasive patterns they have both lived through: the disordered relationship with food and the body. Building on their recent conversation with Luis Mojica, this is the episode where they go further, bringing the neuroscience, the lived experience, and the practical path forward into a single, honest conversation. Both hosts have a long history with binge eating disorder. For decades, food was the primary regulation strategy, the way the nervous system found relief from stress it had no other tools to process, the way the body found pleasure when pleasure felt dangerous, and the way a dysregulated system managed to keep functioning. They are not talking about this from the outside. They are talking about it from the other side. The conversation moves through several layers. First, why food behaviors are regulation strategies, not character flaws, and why disordered eating works, at least until it doesn't. Then into interoception, the brain's ability to sense internal body signals, and how disrupted interoceptive awareness drives everything from not knowing you're full to being unable to feel your own emotional states. They trace how visual processing deficits can distort body image and increase stress load, how the default mode network gets locked into self-referential rumination and body obsession, and how the salience network learns to flag the body itself as a threat. Elisabeth breaks down what is actually happening neurologically when the obsessive loop runs, why insight alone does not stop it, and what actually interrupts it: sensory anchoring, movement, proprioceptive tools, and the slow building of emotional processing capacity over time. Jennifer brings it back to the body and the breath, to shame, to the secret eating and the shame spirals that followed, and to what it actually felt like to slowly, gradually come out of that. The episode closes with one of the most important reframes in the whole conversation: healing your relationship with food and your body is not about getting the food right. It is a portal into self-attunement, emotional processing, and relational capacity that ripples into every area of life. It is post-traumatic growth.     In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why food behaviors are nervous system regulation strategies, not willpower failures How the absence of early co-regulation leads to using food as a modulation tool Why diets fail without somatic and nervous system support in place How interoceptive deficits drive disordered eating, emotional disconnection, and body image distortion How visual processing issues can compound stress load and body dysmorphia What the default mode network and salience network have to do with food obsession and body rumination Why psychedelics can soften rigid thought loops temporarily but cannot rewire them without nervous system preparation and integration How to interrupt the rumination loop using sensory anchoring, orienting, movement, and proprioception Why shame is harder to metabolize than any food behavior and how to begin working with it somatically How uncoupling pleasure from shame is a critical and often overlooked part of healing the relationship with food and body Why healing the food relationship is one of the deepest portals to relational health and post-traumatic growth   Chapter Markers 0:00 - Food as Energy, Rest, and the High Performer Trap 01:08 - Welcome: Moving From Control to Self-Attunement 03:20 - Six Years of Conversations About Food and How Far We Have Come 06:24 - Every Diet Failed. Here Is Why. 08:31 - Food Behaviors Are Regulation Strategies, Not Character Flaws 11:29 - Safety Has to Come Before Pattern Change 14:19 - Perfectionism, the Inner Critic, and Controlling Appearance as a Stress Response 15:43 - How Vision Training Changed Body Image 19:50 - Interoception: The Missing Piece in Food and Body Healing 23:56 - Physical Hunger vs Emotional Need: Learning to Tell the Difference 28:13 - Interrupting the Pattern in Real Time 30:28 - Building Emotional Processing as a Skill 36:56 - The Default Mode Network and Why the Obsessive Loop Runs 40:05 - The Salience Network: When Your Brain Learns Your Body Is a Threat 41:58 - How to Interrupt the Loop: Sensory Anchoring, Movement, and Proprioception 53:14 - Shame, Secret Eating, and How They Get Woven Together 56:12 - Uncoupling Pleasure From Shame: A Portal Back to the Body 1:01:32 - Food as One of the Deepest Portals to Post-Traumatic Growth Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics  Join us inside Rewire: This is where you actually experience the practices Jennifer and Elisabeth talk about on the podcast that brought us freedom, self-attunement, a new relationship with food and our body.  rewiretrial.com   Explore the neurosomatics of boundaries: boundaryrewire.com   Introduction to neurosomatics for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/   Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence: https://stan.store/illuminated   Join Jennifer on Sacred Synapse to explore the intersection of neurosomatics and Psychedelic neuroscience: https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23   Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors:  FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired   Resources and Research   Feusner, Jamie D., et al. "Abnormalities of Object Visual Processing in Body Dysmorphic Disorder." Psychological Medicine, vol. 41, no. 11, 2011, pp. 2385–2397. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21557897/   Feusner, Jamie D., et al. "Abnormalities of Visual Processing and Frontostriatal Systems in Body Dysmorphic Disorder." Archives of General Psychiatry, 2010. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2853756/   Madsen, Sarah K., et al. "Visual Processing in Anorexia Nervosa and Body Dysmorphic Disorder: A Review." Journal of Psychiatric Research, 2013. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3786585/   Dhir, S., et al. "Parameters of Visual Processing Abnormalities in Adults with Body Dysmorphic Disorder." PLOS ONE, 2018. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6261110/   ​​Khalsa, Sahib S., et al. "Interoceptive Awareness in Anorexia Nervosa: Disturbances in Body Awareness." Biological Psychiatry, vol. 75, no. 4, 2014, pp. 275–281. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24090776/   Pollatos, Olga, et al. "Reduced Perception of Bodily Signals in Anorexia Nervosa." Eating Behaviors, vol. 9, no. 4, 2008, pp. 381–388. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18928907/   Jenkinson, Paul M., et al. "Interoceptive Sensitivity and Eating Disorder Psychopathology: A Meta-Analysis." Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, vol. 92, 2018, pp. 387–397. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29935263/   Trauma Rewired podcast  is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.  We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.  If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.  We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available.  We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We  invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.  We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.  Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.  We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com  All rights in our content are reserved  

At the World Happiness Summit meeting at the SXSW conference in Austin, Texas, we talk to author Jennifer Wallace about her new book, “Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.” Resources & links related to this episode: Mattering by Jennifer Wallace  World Happiness Summit  Take the Four Tendencies Quiz here  Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. 

Celebrating the start of baseball season with work from Bea Epstein, Barry Nemett, John Kimmey, and Jennifer Wallace.Support the show

SummaryIn this episode, we explore the powerful work of Jennifer Wallace and her insights into the growing impact of toxic achievement culture on students and leaders alike.Drawing from Never Enough and her ongoing work on mattering, we unpack a central tension facing schools today: how do we pursue excellence without tying self-worth to performance?This conversation challenges leaders, educators, and parents to rethink success—not as a collection of outcomes, but as a culture where individuals feel seen, valued, and essential. As always, we bring it back to the Ted Lasso lens: high performance and high care are not opposing forces—they are deeply connected.Toxic achievement culture, Mattering, Education leadership, Student well-being, Purpose-driven success, Leadership strategies, School culture, Mental health, Identity and performance, Human-centered leadershipThe hidden costs of toxic achievement culture in high-performing environmentsWhy students (and adults) begin to equate self-worth with outcomesThe concept of mattering and why it may be the most important leadership lever we havePractical ways leaders can create environments where people feel seen, needed, and valuedThe shared responsibility of schools and families in shaping cultureHow “mattering” actually enhances performance rather than competing with itQuotes“When self-worth is tied to performance, success becomes fragile.”“Mattering isn't soft—it's the foundation of real performance.”“You can belong and still feel invisible. Mattering is different.”“High expectations and deep care can—and must—coexist.”Chapters00:00 – Setting the Stage: Why This Conversation Matters07:15 – The Rise (and Risk) of Achievement Culture14:30 – Understanding Mattering as a Leadership Practice20:05 – The Role of Schools, Parents, and Culture23:00 – Leadership Takeaways: From Performance to Purpose24:45 – Closing Reflections & Beards Book Club OutroResourcesJennifer Wallace TED TalkNever EnoughMatteringReese Witherspoon's Book Club (featured selection of Never Enough)

Food is not just fuel. It is one of the most powerful ways your nervous system regulates stress, emotion, and survival. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined by somatic practitioner and author Luis Mojica to explore the hidden relationship between trauma, cravings, and the nervous system. Together, they unpack why food can become a coping strategy for unprocessed emotion, how certain foods can increase or decrease your stress response, and why cravings are not a lack of discipline—but a signal from the body. This conversation breaks down how stimulants like sugar and caffeine can drive anxiety through adrenaline and blood sugar spikes, while heavier, processed foods can temporarily numb overwhelming emotional states—creating a cycle of activation and shutdown that many people mistake for "addiction." You'll learn how food impacts your nervous system 24/7—often more than any therapy session—and why true healing is not about restriction, but about understanding what your body is trying to regulate. This episode also introduces a new way of relating to food through a nervous system lens—moving beyond "healthy vs. unhealthy" into understanding foods as stimulants, depressants, or balancers that shape your emotional and physiological state. If you've ever felt stuck, ashamed, or confused in your relationship with food, this episode will help you see your patterns through a completely new lens—one rooted in compassion, biology, and nervous system awareness.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            What You'll Learn: • Why cravings are signals for unmet emotional, relational, or physical needs • How food can activate or calm your stress response • The connection between trauma, emotional repression, and eating patterns • Why willpower fails and nervous system support works • How to begin shifting your relationship with food without restriction                                                                                                                                                                     This is not about fixing your relationship with food. It's about understanding the nervous system underneath it.                                                                                                                                                                            #traumarewired #nervoussystem #emotionaleating #traumahealing #mentalhealth   Chapter Markers 00:00 - Food Is Not About Eating Less. It Is About Eating Differently. 00:43 - Welcome: Food as a Portal Into the Nervous System 01:56 - Introducing Luis Mojica and the Chocolate at 4 p.m. Story 04:36 - Why Food Belongs in the Trauma Conversation 06:46 - Cravings as a Compass: The Three Unmet Needs Behind Every Food Behavior 08:07 - Why Diets Fail Without Somatics 09:21 - What Happens When You Understand What Your Cravings Actually Mean 14:33 - Food Induced Stress: How What You Eat Can Keep You in Fight or Flight 16:28 - Stimulants, Depressants, and Balancers: The Three Categories 21:55 - Seesaw Regulation: How the Body Unconsciously Alchemizes With Food 28:35 - It Is a Loop. It Was Always a Loop. 32:00 - Food Sobriety and Why Balancers Make You Feel More, Not Less 37:26 - How to Weave Balancers In Without Taking Anything Away 43:18 - The Quiet Diet: Creating Space to Actually Feel   Connect with Luis: Get Luis Mojica's new book Food Therapy: A powerful deep dive into how food, trauma, and the nervous system are all connected—and how to work with your body instead of against it. https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/the-book Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holistic.life.navigation/ Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics:  Join us inside Rewire: This is where you actually experience the practices Jennifer and Elisabeth talk about on the podcast that brought us freedom, self-attunement, a new relationship with food and our body.  rewiretrial.com Introduction to neurosomatics for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/ Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence: https://stan.store/illuminated Join Jennifer on Sacred Synapse to explore the intersection of neurosomatics and Psychedelic neuroscience: https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors:  FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired Disclaimer: Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and RewireTrial.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com. All rights in our content are reserved.  

The mother wound is not just about your mother. It is about the first nervous system that shaped yours—the earliest relational field that told you whether you were safe, wanted, and free to take up space. And it lives in the body long before it lives in the story. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined by Brooke Wolfe, somatic voice activation coach, musician of 20 years, and a dear friend of both hosts. Brooke's work lives at the intersection of nervous system safety, vocal expression, and the parts of the feminine that have been suppressed, exiled, and told they are too much. Together, they explore the mother wound as an attachment and nervous system imprint—one that shows up not just in relationships, but in how you breathe, how you move, whether you feel permission to make noise, and whether you have ever truly learned to receive. Brooke brings a perspective that is both poetic and grounded. She shares the pelvis–throat connection as a place where early disconnection shows up physically, how the voice becomes a tool for masking rather than connecting, and how her lifelong asthma reflected a nervous system that never felt safe to exhale. She also speaks to how heroin use in her teenage years neurologically mirrored the flooding and crashing of disorganized attachment. Elisabeth shares how emotional neglect and a mother's absence shaped a deep sense of childhood loneliness, and why co-regulation with other humans became genuinely difficult. Jennifer names the fear of her own power, the experience of moving through life in a quiet tiptoe, and the inner critic that still carries someone else's voice. This conversation expands the mother wound beyond the personal and into the collective—naming how disconnection from the body, voice, and feminine expression is not just individual, but patterned across generations. The episode closes on something both honest and hopeful: healing the mother wound does not always require repairing the external relationship. It requires taking your sovereignty back, learning to mother yourself, and finding the safe spaces and relationships that can hold your depth. What was ruptured in relationship must be repaired in relationship—and sometimes that begins with the earth. In This Episode, You Will Learn: How the mother wound forms as an attachment and nervous system imprint, not a single event but a pattern How prenatal maternal stress can shape fetal stress system development through cortisol and epigenetic mechanisms Why birth is the first moment of separation and how birth trauma shapes early nervous system patterns How rupture in the feminine shows up in the body, the breath, the pelvis, the throat, and the voice Why the voice so often becomes a tool for masking rather than connecting, and how somatic voice work can change that How disorganized attachment patterns in childhood can drive substance use and self-regulation strategies in adolescence and adulthood Why co-regulation with other humans can feel deeply threatening and how to begin building that skill incrementally How the inner critic often carries the voice of a primary caregiver, and what that means neurologically What it looks like to heal the mother wound internally without requiring external repair of the relationship Why the fertile void, the emptiness left by the wound, can become a creative source rather than something to fill Chapter Markers 0:00 - Sending Healing Back Down the Mother Line 1:45 - Welcome: The Mother Wound as Nervous System Imprint 4:00 - Introducing Brooke Wolfe and Why This Work Called Her 7:45 - How Rupture in the Feminine Shows Up in the Body and Voice 13:00 - Birth as the First Separation and the Roots of the Wound 18:00 - Prenatal Stress, Cortisol, and How the Stress System Is Shaped Before Birth 20:00 - The Pelvis, Throat, and Diaphragm: Where Bracing Patterns Live 27:00 - Don't Take Up Space, Don't Be Too Much: The Feminine Conditioning 33:00 - Attachment, Addiction, and the Nervous System Logic Behind It All 49:00 - The Void: What Brooke's Mother Wound Actually Is, and What She Found There 55:00 - The Inner Critic as Internalized Mother Voice 1:01:00 - Healing the Mother Wound From the Inside Out Explore Neurosomatic Voice Activation: Liberate your voice and create somatic safety and self-attunement in the Neurosomatic Voice Activation Course with Brooke and Elisabeth: https://www.brookewolfe.com/trauma-rewired Get 15% off with code: TRAUMAREWIRED Brooke on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookewolfe_/ Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics: Capacity Gap: Free BrainBased workshop for entrepreneurs, leaders and high-performers: rewirecapacity.com Two week trail of BrainBased membership for neurosomatic practices and nervous system rehabilitation and health: rewiretrial.com  Introduction to NSI for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/ Watch Trauma Rewired on YouTube - Subscribe here Learn more about psychedelic neuroscience and neurosomatics on Sacred Synapse with Jennifer Wallace   https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired   Resources and Links Oberlander, T. F., et al. (2008). Prenatal depression, NR3C1 methylation, and infant cortisol response. Epigenetics. Weaver, I. C. G., et al. (2004). Maternal care and epigenetic regulation of stress response (animal study). Nature Neuroscience. Seckl, J. R., & Holmes, M. C. (2007). Placental cortisol buffering and fetal stress system development. Nature Clinical Practice Endocrinology & Metabolism. Yehuda, R., et al. (2016). Intergenerational effects of trauma on FKBP5 methylation. Biological Psychiatry. O'Donnell, K. J., & Meaney, M. J. (2017). Fetal origins of mental health and stress regulation. American Journal of Psychiatry. Sapolsky, R. M., et al. (2000). How stress hormones influence the body and brain. Endocrine Reviews.  

The post How to Talk about Why Mattering Matters with Jennifer Wallace appeared first on Dr Robyn Silverman.

What if healing from trauma is not just a psychological process, but a fundamentally creative one? In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined by Laura Dawn, a psychedelic-informed author, researcher, and mentor who has spent more than two decades exploring how altered states can open creative pathways, support trauma recovery, and reconnect people with vision and possibility. Laura opens by naming something most people carry but rarely say out loud: the moment someone told them they were not creative. Research by Brené Brown suggests that around 80% of people had an experience in childhood that planted a limiting belief about themselves—and for half of them, it was about creativity. From there, the conversation expands into something much bigger: a reframing of creativity itself. Not as a talent or personality trait, but as a fundamental function of being human. Drawing on her graduate research and the Five P's of creativity framework, Laura maps creativity onto the arc of healing. She shows how psychological flexibility—one of the strongest predictors of post-traumatic growth—is also directly linked to creative capacity. The connection between trauma, recovery, psychedelics, and creativity is not metaphorical. It is neurological. Together, they explore how trauma narrows perception into rigid patterns, and how healing—through nervous system regulation, somatic work, and in some cases psychedelic-assisted therapy—reopens the mind to new ideas, new narratives, and new ways of being. The conversation also challenges the culture of speed and optimization, reframing slow living as a deep psychological restructuring rather than an aesthetic. And it asks a larger question: what becomes possible, individually and collectively, when we begin to value creativity and beauty as much as we value productivity and output? In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why creativity is not a personality trait but a fundamental dimension of what it means to be human How the industrial education system planted limiting beliefs about creativity that still shape adults today The five P's of creativity framework and how it maps onto psychedelic preparation and integration Why psychological flexibility is a predictor of both post-traumatic growth and creative achievement How the default mode network drives self-referential rumination in trauma and addiction, and how psychedelics disrupt that loop Why nervous system preparation before a psychedelic journey changes what becomes possible in and after the experience The surprising connection between compassion, forgiveness, and creative capacity Why slow living is actually a profound re-patterning of how we relate to time, not a lifestyle trend What creativity looks like as a mechanism for healing complex trauma, not just as an outcome of it Chapters 0:00 - The Healing Journey as a Creative Act 01:32 - Welcome and Introducing Laura Dawn 03:07 - What Is Creativity? A Word Association Game and the Limiting Beliefs We Carry 07:59 - The Five P's of Creativity and How They Map Onto the Healing Arc 17:45 - What Would the World Look Like If Artists Believed in Themselves? 21:30 - Collective Creativity, North Stars, and What We Are Actually Building Toward 26:37 - Survival Culture, Speed, and Why Slow Living Is Harder Than It Looks 33:36 - Complex Trauma, Neurodivergence, and the Creative Gifts Within the Wound 38:55 - Psychological Flexibility: The Bridge Between Trauma, Psychedelics, and Creativity 43:08 - The Hamster Wheel, the Default Mode Network, and Psychedelics as Pattern Disruptors 50:36 - Preparation, Embodiment, and Why One Good Rep Has to Be Whole-System 51:36 - Compassion, Forgiveness, and Why That Is Where Creativity Actually Comes Online Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics  FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. Two week trail of BrainBased membership for neurosomatic practices and nervous system rehabilitation and health: rewiretrial.com  Introduction to NSI for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/ Connect with Laura Dawn: livefreelaurad.com Watch Trauma Rewired on YouTube - Subscribe here Learn more about psychedelic neuroscience and neurosomatics on Sacred Synapse with Jennifer Wallace   Capacity Gap: Free BrainBased workshop for entrepreneurs, leaders and high-performers: rewirecapacity.com

We often think of perfectionism as a virtue; a kind of shorthand for high standards, a solid work ethic, and attention to detail.But in reality, perfectionism can be a paralyzing force — like sand wedged in the gears of our minds. It slows us down, makes us question our choices, and traps us in an endless cycle of tweaking and re-tweaking, unable to move on to the next task. It can even have consequences for our health, as we push ourselves beyond our limits, in pursuit of impossible standards. And it's on the rise, especially among teens and young adults.On this episode, we explore what causes perfectionism, how we can escape its grip, and why letting go of unrealistic expectations doesn't have to mean abandoning excellence. We hear from recovering perfectionists about what finally forced them to let go of their impossible  standards, and how their lives have changed since. We talk with a longtime perfectionism researcher about what's at the root of perfectionism, and some of its more dire consequences. And we learn about a new movement that's pushing high school kids to invest less in their academic achievements — and more in how they matter to others. For most of her life, Gitanjali Trevorrow-Seymour was a perfectionist — and as an adult, her exacting standards seemed to have paid off, in the form of a successful career, beautiful home, and loving family. But a few years ago, she reached a turning point that prompted her to question her pursuit of perfection — and the toll it was taking on her life and health. We talk with Trevorrow-Seymour about what finally caused her to change, and what it's like living on the other side of perfectionism. It's something we all hear as kids: “Practice makes perfect.” But for budding cellist Joshua Roman, it was more than just a saying — it was the only way to become the best. His relentless work ethic  paid off when, at the tender age of 22, Roman became the youngest lead cellist in the Seattle Symphony Orchestra's history. But everything changed for Roman several years ago, when he contracted a debilitating case of long COVID, and found himself struggling to function. Pulse producer Nichole Currie talks with Roman about how his newfound limitations have changed his life and forced him to face his perfectionism. Researcher Gordon Flett breaks down the dark side of perfectionism — from burnout to health effects — explaining where it comes from, why it's on the rise in young people, and how to deal with it. Flett is a professor emeritus of psychology at York University in Toronto, and the author of several books on perfectionism. For a lot of high school kids, college admissions are a major driver of stress — not to mention depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Pulse reporter Alan Yu talks with perfectionism researchers about the dangers of America's “achievement culture,” along with journalist Jennifer Wallace about a potential solution — the Mattering Movement.

In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined by Oren Shai, organizational psychologist, somatic executive coach, and NSI-certified practitioner, for a conversation about what happens when nervous system literacy meets the corporate world. After years working inside large organizations, including LinkedIn, Oren kept seeing the same pattern: all the right strategies, all the right tactics, and none of the essential human work getting done. What if the quality of your leadership isn't determined by your intelligence, experience, or decision-making frameworks—but by your nervous system's capacity to feel? In this conversation, we explore how emotional repression, trauma patterns, and chronic stress shape leadership, team dynamics, and organizational culture—and why so many high performers are operating at a hidden cost to their health, relationships, and sense of self. This episode is for leaders, entrepreneurs, practitioners, and anyone who has ever found themselves doing everything "right" professionally, while feeling depleted, disconnected, or like they're holding it all together behind the scenes. Because leadership isn't just about what you do. It's about what your nervous system can hold.   In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why the quality of leadership is tied directly to nervous system capacity Why high performers are often high performers because of trauma, not despite it The difference between nervous system regulation as coping versus as a foundation for aligned action Why leaders are emotionally contagious, and what that means for organizational health What embodied leadership looks like, and why it changes everything for teams Chapters  0:00 - The Doorway Into the Real Conversation: Co-Founders and What Goes Unnamed 1:08 - Welcome: What Leadership Capacity Actually Requires 2:51 - Introducing Oren Shai: From the Tech World to Somatic Executive Coaching 7:10 - What Elisabeth Hears from Women Executives When No One Else Is Listening 11:43 - Organizations Have a Nervous System Too 13:31 - Leaders Are Emotionally Contagious: The Ripple Effect of Embodied Leadership 22:39 - How Oren Opens the Conversation with Leadership Teams 30:14 - Most Careers Are Fueled by Coffee and Trauma 37:25 - Why Individual Work Alone Cannot Create Organizational Change 43:45 - Slowing Down Enough to Remember What Aliveness Feels Like 51:35 - Moving From Nervous System Regulation as Coping to Capacity as a Daily Practice 57:50 - Closing Reflection: Start Close In Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics    Capacity Gap: Free BrainBased workshop for entrepreneurs, leaders and high-performers: rewirecapacity.com Two week trail of BrainBased membership for neurosomatic practices and nervous system rehabilitation and health: rewiretrial.com  Introduction to NSI for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/ Connect with Oren Shai: https://www.linkedin.com/in/oshai/ Watch Trauma Rewired on YouTube - Subscribe here Learn more about psychedelic neuroscience and neurosomatics on Sacred Synapse with Jennifer Wallace   Disclaimer: Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and RewireTrial.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com. All rights in our content are reserved.  

In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined in person by Dr. Lovey Bradley, NSI certified practitioner, BrainBased facilitator, and facilitator of the NSI BIPOC Affinity Group. Together they examine how racial stress and systemic oppression live in the body, how they shape nervous system patterns across generations, and what post-traumatic growth actually requires when the environment itself keeps activating survival. Dr. Lovey opens by sharing what brought her to this conversation, including a moment of messaging Elisabeth out of frustration, asking why race still has to be such a defining factor, and what it would take to start breaking those walls down. The answer they keep returning to: it starts with having the conversations. From there the episode moves into the physiology of racial stress, how chronic exposure to discrimination activates the HPA axis, elevates cortisol, suppresses progesterone, and drives the specific health disparities that show up disproportionately in melanated bodies, including fibroids, endometriosis, heart disease, hypertension, and chronic pain. Dr. Lovey names what she sees in the women she works with and connects those physical realities directly to suppressed expression, ancestral stress load, and the specific demands placed on bodies that have never had the systemic safety to soften. Elisabeth grounds the conversation in current research including the work of Resmaa Menakem on embodied racial trauma and Tema Okun's writing on white supremacy culture, which she connects directly to nervous system dysregulation rather than personality or ideology. The episode also traces how cultural conditioning normalizes threat-based behaviors like urgency, perfectionism, and emotional repression as efficiency or success, and what that means for everyone living inside those systems. Dr. Lovey also shares the story of how she accidentally created a healing community for melanated women after a single post went viral in a Facebook group, and what the response revealed about the collective hunger for real, unperformed connection. Topics Covered How racism functions as a chronic threat signal that reshapes the nervous system, not just belief or behavior What the HPA axis, cortisol, and progesterone have to do with racial stress and women's health outcomes How suppressed expression contributes to physical disease in melanated bodies What Resmaa Menakem's framework adds to neuro somatic approaches to racialized trauma Why white supremacy culture traits like urgency and perfectionism map directly onto chronic stress behaviors How the urgency to fix or regulate can itself become a form of bypassing in healing spaces What post-traumatic growth looks like at a collective level, not just an individual one Why witnessing state violence on social media is a genuine nervous system stressor, even for those not directly targeted How Dr. Levy's community for melanated women came to life and what it is building toward Chapter Markers 0:00 - Why This Conversation Had to Happen 01:57 - Welcome: Racial Trauma, the Nervous System, and Post-Traumatic Growth 07:25 - What Racial Stress Looks Like in the Body, for White and Melanated Bodies 10:44 - Post-Traumatic Growth at the Collective Level: What It Actually Requires 15:35 - The Danger of Regulating Out of Activation Before the Cycle Completes 18:09 - The Neuroscience: HPA Axis, Allostatic Load, and Chronic Racial Threat 24:27 - How Racial Stress Shows Up in Hormones, Cycles, and Women's Health 29:25 - Resmaa Menakem, White Supremacy Culture, and the Nervous System 38:42 - Dr. Levy's Community for Melanated Women and What It Is Building 41:35 - Witnessing Violence at Scale: What It Does to All Nervous Systems 49:11 - What This Work Has Made Possible: Dr. Levy on Choosing to Create a Different World 51:59 - Closing Reflection: What Post-Traumatic Growth Requires of Us Collectively Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics: Neurosomatic Intelligence is now enrolling : https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/nsi-certification Join us for a two week trial of neurosomatic practices at rewiretrial.com Free BrainBased neurosomatic workshop for entrepreneurs at rewirecapacity.com Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.  Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. Learn to work with Boundaries at the level of the body and nervous system at https://www.boundaryrewire.com   Resources: Brave Heart, Maria Yellow Horse. "The Historical Trauma Response Among Natives and Its Relationship with Substance Abuse: A Lakota Illustration." Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, vol. 35, no. 1, 2003, pp. 7–13. Brave Heart, Maria Yellow Horse, and Eduardo Duran. "Healing the Soul Wound: Counseling with American Indians and Other Native Peoples." Teachers College Press, 1995. DeGruy, Joy. Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing. Joy DeGruy Publications Inc., 2005. Hobson, J. M., M. D. Moody, R. E. Sorge, and B. R. Goodin. "The Neurobiology of Social Stress Resulting from Racism." Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, vol. 17, no. 2, 2022, pp. 181–191. Hicken, Margaret T., et al. "Everyday Discrimination, Chronic Stress, and Cardiovascular Health." American Journal of Epidemiology, 2014. Geronimus, Arline T. "Weathering and the Health of African-American Women." Ethnicity & Disease, 2006. Menakem, Resmaa. My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies. Central Recovery Press, 2017. Okun, Tema. "White Supremacy Culture." Dismantling Racism Works, originally published 1999, revised 2021. Williams, Monnica T. "Racial Trauma: Theory, Research, and Healing." American Psychologist, vol. 74, no. 1, 2019, pp. 33–42.  

Jennifer is an accomplished journalist and a best-selling author. Jennifer's first book, Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic, sounded the alarm about a troubling trend in our society. She has followed up with a new book entitled Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, which offers an alternative to precarious, achievement-based identities, and shows how to construct more meaningful lives. Jennifer joins the podcast today to discuss the concept of "mattering" and our core human needs. Do you feel exhausted by the hyper-competitive nature of our society? Job applications, college admissions, extracurriculars, even enrolling children in the right summer camp? If you haven't heard it yet, check out our first Templeton Ideas episode with Jennifer Wallace on Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Achievement Culture.  Join our growing community of 200,000+ listeners and be notified of new episodes of Templeton Ideas. Subscribe today.  Follow us on social media: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn , and YouTube.

The wound between women is not just interpersonal. It is neurobiological, historical, and deeply rooted in systems that were designed to divide us. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined by Dr. Lovey Bradley, Msc.D., NSI certified practitioner, BrainBased facilitator, and facilitator of the NSI BIPOC Affinity Group, whose work sits at the intersection of female hormone health, nervous system regulation, and somatic approaches to trauma. Together, they go deep on one of the most underexplored dimensions of collective healing: the feminine wound, and specifically the racial fracture at its root. Lovey shares her own experience of dissociation in a predominantly white healing space during her NCAI certification, and what that revealed about epigenetic nervous system patterns that have nothing to do with individual will and everything to do with what our bodies have inherited and learned to expect. Jennifer and Elisabeth reflect honestly on their own experiences, including what it takes for white bodied women to pause, stop fixing, and actually listen without collapsing into shame or urgency. The conversation also traces the science behind why relational stress hits the female nervous system so hard, why oxytocin can amplify threat as much as it buffers it when relationships are unsafe, and how chronic cortisol dysregulation suppresses progesterone and drives the health outcomes so many women are navigating. Topic Include: Why the feminine wound cannot be fully healed without naming its racial roots How the nervous system adapts to chronic relational threat in female coded spaces What social baseline theory tells us about why disconnection between women is a physiological load, not just an emotional one How early experiences of exclusion, relational aggression, and peer victimization become nervous system prediction patterns in adulthood Why oxytocin amplifies relational stress when social environments are unsafe How high cortisol suppresses progesterone and drives inflammation, infertility, and hormonal dysregulation What it looks like for white bodied women to stay present without defaulting to shame, urgency, or over-repair Why healing within cultures must precede healing across them What a real path forward looks like, starting at the individual level Chapters 0:00 - Why Racial Trauma Is the Root We Are Not Talking About 1:05 - Welcome: The Feminine Wound Through a Nervous System Lens 3:48 - Introducing Dr. Lovey Bradley and Why This Conversation Matters 7:00 - How the Sister Wound Shows Up in Friendships, Workplaces, and Healing Spaces 10:21 - Dr. Lovey's Personal Story: Dissociating in a Predominantly White Healing Space 17:11 - Social Baseline Theory and the Neurobiology of Relational Disconnection 24:54 - The Historical Root: White Women, Racial Hierarchy, and the Fractured Sisterhood 27:26 - What It Takes for White Bodied Women to Listen Without Collapsing 34:14 - Colorism, Division Within Cultures, and Where Trust Has to Begin 43:08 - Early Developmental Roots: How Relational Threat Shapes the Nervous System 46:52 - Oxytocin, Cortisol, Progesterone, and the Female Hormone Connection 49:56 - A Path Forward: Building Trust One Relationship at a Time Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics: Neurosomatic Intelligence is now enrolling : https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/nsi-certification Join us for a two week trial of neurosomatic practices at rewiretrial.com Free BrainBased neurosomatic workshop for entrepreneurs at rewirecapacity.com Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.  Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. Learn to work with Boundaries at the level of the body and nervous system at https://www.boundaryrewire.com   Resources that inform this episode: Coan, James A., Hillary S. Schaefer, and Richard J. Davidson. "Lending a Hand: Social Regulation of the Neural Response to Threat." Psychological Science, vol. 17, no. 12, 2006, pp. 1032–1039. Crick, Nicki R., and Jennifer K. Grotpeter. "Relational Aggression, Gender, and Social-Psychological Adjustment." Child Development, vol. 66, no. 3, 1995, pp. 710–722. Holt-Lunstad, Julianne, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton. "Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-Analytic Review." PLOS Medicine, vol. 7, no. 7, 2010, e1000316. Miller, Jean Baker. Toward a New Psychology of Women. Beacon Press, 1976. Wellesley Centers for Women ed., 2012. Prinstein, Mitchell J., et al. "Peer Victimization, Friendship, and the Stress Response." Development and Psychopathology, vol. 17, no. 4, 2005, pp. 1017–1038. Rimé, Bernard. "Emotion Elicits the Social Sharing of Emotion: Theory and Empirical Review." Emotion Review, vol. 1, no. 1, 2009, pp. 60–85. Shamay-Tsoory, Simone G., and Ahmad Abu-Akel. "The Social Salience Hypothesis of Oxytocin." Biological Psychiatry, vol. 79, no. 3, 2016, pp. 194–202. Taylor, Shelley E., et al. "Biobehavioral Responses to Stress in Females: Tend-and-Befriend, Not Fight-or-Flight." Psychological Review, vol. 107, no. 3, 2000, pp. 411–429. Taylor, Shelley E. "Tend and Befriend: Biobehavioral Bases of Affiliation under Stress." Current Directions in Psychological Science, vol. 15, no. 6, 2006, pp. 273–277. Tedeschi, Richard G., and Lawrence G. Calhoun. "Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence." Psychological Inquiry, vol. 15, no. 1, 2004, pp. 1–18. Uchino, Bert N. "Social Support and Health: A Review of Physiological Processes Potentially Underlying Links to Disease Outcomes." Journal of Behavioral Medicine, vol. 29, no. 4, 2006, pp. 377–387. Disclaimer: Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and RewireTrial.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com. All rights in our content are reserved.  

What if authenticity isn't a personality trait — but a measurable marker of nervous system capacity? In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we explore authenticity and forgiveness through the lens of post-traumatic growth. We unpack why telling the truth can feel physiologically threatening after trauma, how masking and performance develop as protective strategies, and why forgiveness is not a mindset shift — but a capacity that grows through regulation, integration, and self-attunement. Authenticity is not about oversharing or abandoning discernment. It's the ability to feel the truth in your body and stay connected while expressing it. That requires nervous system flexibility — not willpower. Topics Covered: Why authenticity is a marker of nervous system capacity How trauma wires masking, performance, and self-editing Why telling the truth can feel physiologically threatening Small lies as protective regulation strategies Masking, perfectionism, and increased allostatic load The difference between visibility and authentic expression Why psychedelic honesty is a state shift, not a skill Oversharing and vulnerability hangovers as capacity issues Why forcing forgiveness reinforces threat patterns Self-forgiveness as a neuroplastic learning process Attunement, interoception, and emotional tolerance Rupture and repair as mechanisms of growth Forgiveness without bypassing accountability Rumination, grievance, and sympathetic dominance Why post-traumatic growth reflects the capacity to hold truth and connection at the same time Chapters: 00:00 – Authenticity as Nervous System Capacity 04:30 – Why Truth Feels Like Threat 09:45 – Masking, Performance & Conditional Safety 17:10 – Psychedelics, Peak States & Integration 23:40 – Visibility vs Authentic Expression 29:50 – Self-Forgiveness & Capacity Building 36:15 – Attunement, Shame & Neuroplasticity 41:20 – Forgiving Others Without Bypassing 47:30 – Forgiveness, Faith & Staying Connected   Calls to Action: Neurosomatic Intelligence is now enrolling : https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/nsi-certification Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.  Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired  Learn to work with Boundaries at the level of the body and nervous system at https://www.boundaryrewire.com Get a two-week free trial of neurosomatic training at https://rewiretrial.com  

Psychedelics are having a cultural moment. Research is promising. Stories of healing are everywhere. But here's the truth: these experiences aren't magic cures. And they aren't right for every nervous system at every time.   In this episode, Elisabeth Kristof and Jennifer Wallace slow the conversation down. Instead of asking, "Do psychedelics heal trauma?" They explore a more grounded question: What becomes possible when psychedelic or peak somatic experiences are approached through the lens of nervous system safety, preparation, and integration?   If you've been curious about psychedelics, already had experiences, or feel unsure whether they're right for you, this episode offers nuance, research, and deep nervous system perspective. Because post-traumatic growth isn't about becoming someone new. It's about becoming more available to the life that's already waiting for you.   Topic Covered Why psychedelics may reorganize meaning, not just reduce symptoms How trauma fragments narrative and how safety allows integration The science of psychological flexibility and why it predicts long-term outcomes What "somatic journeying" is and why it can feel disorienting The importance of preparation, titration, and facilitator trust Why intensity does not equal healing Psychedelics vs antidepressants in research on connectedness Default Mode Network (DMN), identity rigidity, and belief updating Why creativity often emerges when survival softens The risks of over-reliance and "chasing the medicine" Why discernment and self-trust matter more than hype   Chapters  00:00 – Psychedelics Aren't Magic Cures
 03:00 – Meaning-Making & Narrative Reorganization
 08:58 – Psychological Flexibility & Emotional Capacity
 17:00 – Preparation, Somatic Journeying & Integration
 23:29 – Connectedness & Relational Repair
 34:33 – Identity, Neuro Tags & the Default Mode Network
 41:03 – Creativity as a Byproduct of Safety
 48:14 – Discernment, Industry Hype & Self-Trust   Calls to Action: Neurosomatic Intelligence is now enrolling : https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/nsi-certification Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.    Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.   FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired  Learn to work with Boundaries at the level of the body and nervous system at https://www.boundaryrewire.com Get a two-week free trial of neurosomatic training at https://rewiretrial.com Sources:    Amada, N., et al. "The Transformative Potential of Psychedelic Experiences: A Qualitative Analysis of Meaning-Making and Narrative Reorganization." Journal of Consciousness Studies, vol. 27, no. 7–8, 2020, pp. 122–150.   Carhart-Harris, Robin L., et al. "Neural Correlates of the Psychedelic State as Determined by fMRI Studies with Psilocybin." Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 109, no. 6, 2012, pp. 2138–2143.   Carhart-Harris, Robin L., et al. "The Entropic Brain: A Theory of Conscious States Informed by Neuroimaging Research with Psychedelic Drugs." Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, vol. 8, 2014, article 20.   Carhart-Harris, Robin L., et al. "Psilocybin with Psychological Support for Treatment-Resistant Depression: Six-Month Follow-Up." Psychopharmacology, vol. 235, no. 2, 2018, pp. 399–408.   Davis, Alan K., Roland R. Griffiths, and Frederick S. Barrett. "Psychological Flexibility Mediates the Relations between Acute Psychedelic Effects and Subjective Decreases in Depression and Anxiety." Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, vol. 15, 2020, pp. 39–45.   Davis, Alan K., et al. "Effects of Psilocybin-Assisted Therapy on Major Depressive Disorder: A Randomized Clinical Trial." JAMA Psychiatry, vol. 78, no. 5, 2021, pp. 481–489.   Erritzoe, David, et al. "Effects of Psilocybin Therapy versus Escitalopram on Depression and Emotional Connectedness in Major Depressive Disorder." The New England Journal of Medicine, vol. 384, 2021, pp. 1402–1411.   Griffiths, Roland R., et al. "Psilocybin Produces Substantial and Sustained Decreases in Depression and Anxiety in Patients with Life-Threatening Cancer: A Randomized Double-Blind Trial." Journal of Psychopharmacology, vol. 30, no. 12, 2016, pp. 1181–1197.   MacLean, Katherine A., Matthew W. Johnson, and Roland R. Griffiths. "Mystical Experiences Occasioned by the Hallucinogen Psilocybin Lead to Increases in the Personality Domain of Openness." Journal of Psychopharmacology, vol. 25, no. 11, 2011, pp. 1453–1461.   Watts, Rosalind, et al. "Patients' Accounts of Increased 'Connectedness' and 'Acceptance' after Psilocybin for Treatment-Resistant Depression." Journal of Humanistic Psychology, vol. 57, no. 5, 2017, pp. 520–564.   Weiss, B., et al. "Associations between Naturalistic Psychedelic Use, Psychological Insight, and Changes in Social Connectedness and Personality." Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 12, 2021, article 667987. Disclaimer: Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.   If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.   We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast.   We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.   We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and RewireTrial.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in a mental health crisis.   Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.   We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com. All rights in our content are reserved.

In this episode of Trauma Rewired, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof welcome author, speaker, and embodiment coach Preston Smiles for a powerful conversation on the Father Wound — and how paternal presence or absence shapes the nervous system. Together, they explore how a father's regulation, emotional availability, and play patterns influence brain development, stress physiology, attachment, intimacy, and leadership. Drawing from both lived experience and developmental research, this episode examines the real impact of masculine containment — not through blame, but through understanding. From childhood patterning to adult relationships, parenting, and community repair, this conversation offers grounded insight, somatic depth, and a hopeful path toward nervous system healing. Timestamps: 00:00 –  Intro/The Good Boy Pattern 08:00 – The Father Wound 17:30 – Play and Masculine Energy 33:30 – Shame and Reclaiming the Masculine 52:30 – Capacity and Embodied Partnership Key Takeaways: The fatherwound isn't just emotional, it's neurological and somatic, shaping how we regulate stress, relate, and play. Healthy masculine presence supports brain development through movement, physical play, safety, and co-regulation. Many relational patterns come from what was never modeled, not from personal failure. Healing happens through embodied experience, safe relationships, and repeated nervous system repair, not just insight. Resources Mentioned: The Bridge Method – Workshops led by Preston Smiles: https://www.thebridgemethod.org/ Spiritual Millionaire, by Preston Smiles: https://preston-davis.mykajabi.com/book Instagram: @PrestonSmiles: https://www.instagram.com/prestonsmiles/ Call to Action: Neurosomatic Intelligence is now enrolling : https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/nsi-certification Learn to work with Boundaries at the level of the body and nervous system at https://www.boundaryrewire.com Get a two-week free trial of neurosomatic training at https://rewiretrial.com Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.  Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired Sources: Flinn, M. V. & England, B. G. (2003). Social economics of childhood glucocorticoid stress response and health. Laurent, H. K. et al. (2013). Synchrony of hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis activity in parents and infants. Feldman, R. et al. (2010). Parent–infant synchrony and the construction of shared timing. Amato, P. R. & Gilbreth, J. G. (1999). Nonresident fathers and children's well-being. Ellis, B. J. et al. (1999). Quality of early family relationships and timing of puberty. Meaney, M. J. & Szyf, M. (2005). Environmental programming of stress responses through DNA methylation.   Disclaimer: Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and RewireTrial.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com. All rights in our content are reserved.  

Why do so many people feel lonely, burned out, and disconnected—even in a hyper-connected world? Author and journalist Jennifer Wallace joins Mosheh to unpack what she sees as a root cause behind today's mental health, workplace, and social crises: a growing lack of mattering. In her new book, '⁠Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose⁠,' Wallace argues that feeling valued for who we are, and knowing we add value to others, is a fundamental human need. She explains how technology, distraction, and achievement-driven culture have hollowed out relationships, contributing to loneliness, burnout, disengagement at work, and rising social anger. The conversation discusses tips for reversing that trend, and also explores parenting and leadership, including why kids and adults thrive when they feel they matter at home and at work, and how small, everyday moments of attention and appreciation can rebuild connection.  Mosheh Oinounou (⁠⁠⁠⁠@mosheh⁠⁠⁠⁠) is an Emmy and Murrow award-winning journalist. He has 20 years of experience at networks including Fox News, Bloomberg Television and CBS News, where he was the executive producer of the CBS Evening News and launched the network's 24 hour news channel. He founded the @mosheh Instagram news account in 2020 and the Mo News podcast and newsletter in 2022.

This week on Laugh Lines, Penn and I talk about something that sneaks up on a lot of us in midlife: friendship, purpose, and the quiet fear of wondering if we still matter the way we used to. We're joined by New York Times bestselling author Jennifer Wallace (straight from Oprah to Laugh Lines!) who explores why feeling seen, needed, and valued isn't just nice... it's essential to our well-being. The three of us dig into what “mattering” really means, why so many adults feel lonelier than they expected, and how friendships change when kids leave home, careers shift, and life gets a little more complicated.We've all been guilty of flaking on plans or feeling like if a kind gesture wasn't "perfect" we shouldn't do it. But the truth is, showing up messy and not canceling plans might be the most powerful relationship tools we have. Jennifer shares practical, doable ways to deepen friendships and how small moments of connection often mean more than big gestures.If you've ever missed someone you haven't called, felt unsure of your place in this season of life, or wanted to be a better friend but didn't know where to start, this conversation is for you. It's a good reminder that connection doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful. (And if you're listening and wondering if you matter, you do.) We love to hear from you! Leave us a message at 323-364-3929 or write the show at podcast@theholdernessfamily.com. You can also watch our podcast on YouTube.Learn more about Jennifer's book, MatteringVisit Our ShopJoin Our NewsletterFind us on SubstackFollow us on InstagramFollow us on TikTok Follow us on FacebookLaugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness is an evolution of The Holderness Family Podcast, which began in 2018. Kim and Penn Holderness are award-winning online content creators known for their original music, song parodies, comedy sketches, and weekly podcasts. Their videos have resulted in over three billion views and over nine million followers since 2013. Penn and Kim are also authors of the New York Times Bestselling Books, ADHD Is Awesome: A Guide To (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD and All You Can Be With ADHD. They were also winners on The Amazing Race (Season 33) on CBS. Laugh Lines is hosted and executive produced by Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness, with original music by Penn Holderness. Laugh Lines is also written and produced by Ann Marie Taepke, and edited and produced by Sam Allen. It is hosted by Acast. Thanks for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve ever struggled to feel like you matter, you’re not alone. Feeling like you matter is as fundamental a need as food or water, yet it’s a need going unmet by many. Danielle sits down with journalist and author Jennifer Wallace, who spent over six years researching and interviewing everyday people about losing and regaining that sense of mattering. They discuss what it really means to matter, the role social media plays in the mattering crisis, and how to show up for your loved ones and make them valued. Books Mentioned Mattering by Jennifer Wallace Never Enough by Jennifer Wallace 1929 by Andrew Ross Sorkin Be Ready When the Luck Happens by Ina Garten Choosing Civility by P. M. Forni Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky The Doorman by Chris Pavone The Good Life by Robert Waldinger, M.D. and Marc Schulz, Ph.DSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For many people with a history of chronic stress, attachment wounds, or complex trauma, boundaries don't land as neutral information — they register in the nervous system as abandonment, threat, or loss of connection. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we explore why that happens and what it actually takes to rewire those responses at the level that matters most: the body. This conversation reframes boundaries not as walls, ultimatums, or communication strategies, but as a nervous system skill that emerges from regulation, capacity, and internal coherence. Together with our guest, we unpack why setting boundaries from anger can feel easier than setting them from truth, why receiving boundaries can activate shame or collapse, and how post-traumatic growth allows boundaries to become a source of safety rather than disconnection. If you've ever understood boundaries intellectually but struggled to live them relationally, this episode offers a deeper, more compassionate lens — one rooted in neuroscience, somatics, and the lived process of healing. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, co-hosts Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined by Margy Feldhuhn, co-owner of Brain-Based Wellness, for a grounded, practical conversation about boundaries. The conversation addresses why boundaries can feel threatening for people with relational or developmental trauma, how control dynamics get confused with protection, and what it looks like to set limits without shame, punishment, or power struggles. Whether you struggle to set boundaries, feel triggered by others' boundaries, or worry about being "too much," this episode offers language and perspective that supports safety rather than disconnection. Chapters 00:00 – Intro/Why boundaries often get mislabeled as control 07:42 – Trauma, power, and the nervous system's role in boundaries 15:30 – The difference between protective limits and coercion 24:10 – Why boundaries can feel unsafe or activating 33:45 – Common boundary mistakes rooted in trauma responses 44:20 – What healthy, non-controlling boundaries actually look like Calls to Action

Why do so many people feel lonely, burned out, and disconnected—even in a hyper-connected world? Author and journalist Jennifer Wallace joins Mosheh to unpack what she sees as a root cause behind today's mental health, workplace, and social crises: a growing lack of mattering. In her new book, '⁠Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose⁠,' Wallace argues that feeling valued for who we are, and knowing we add value to others, is a fundamental human need. She explains how technology, distraction, and achievement-driven culture have hollowed out relationships, contributing to loneliness, burnout, disengagement at work, and rising social anger. The conversation discusses tips for reversing that trend, and also explores parenting and leadership, including why kids and adults thrive when they feel they matter at home and at work, and how small, everyday moments of attention and appreciation can rebuild connection.  Mosheh Oinounou (⁠⁠⁠⁠@mosheh⁠⁠⁠⁠) is an Emmy and Murrow award-winning journalist. He has 20 years of experience at networks including Fox News, Bloomberg Television and CBS News, where he was the executive producer of the CBS Evening News and launched the network's 24 hour news channel. He founded the @mosheh Instagram news account in 2020 and the Mo News podcast and newsletter in 2022.

In this episode of the podcast, I explore why marriages feel empty even when couples are still together. The answer isn't about compatibility or whether you "married the right person." It's about three essential elements that every strong marriage needs, and what happens when they disappear. I'm bringing together insights from Brené Brown, Tony Robbins, and Jennifer Wallace's new book Mattering to show you a different way of understanding what's really going wrong. These aren't just abstract concepts. They are deeply wired human needs that your marriage either fulfills or frustrates. Here's what makes this episode different: I'm not just diagnosing the problem. I'm showing you why the disconnection you're feeling creates a cascade of other losses — and why connection is always the starting point for rebuilding. If you've been wondering whether your marriage can be saved, or if you're stuck in a relationship that feels more like going through the motions than genuine partnership, this episode will help you see your situation more clearly. Listen now to discover: • Why "fitting in" to your marriage leaves you feeling emptier than being alone • The hidden way disconnection steals your sense of significance • What it really means to "matter" to someone - and why you can't fake it • How to know if you've been hitting the Un-Pause Button without realizing it This might be the perspective shift you've been needing. RELATED RESOURCES Why Connection Matters Three Levels of Connection Save The Marriage System

Jennifer Wallace's book "Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose" explores how our lives are transformed when we are reminded of our value.

In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we explore autoimmune conditions through a nervous-system and psychoneuroimmunology lens—moving beyond the idea that the body is "attacking itself." Instead, we examine autoimmunity as an adaptive output of a system that has lived in chronic threat for too long. Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof unpack how immune response, emotional expression, boundaries, trauma history, and social stress intersect at the level of physiology. Drawing on research from ACEs, chronic inflammation, the HPA axis, the inflammatory reflex, and shame-based immune activation, they explain how the brain's predictions—rather than isolated biology—shape immune behavior. You'll hear why autoimmune conditions disproportionately affect women and marginalized communities, how emotional suppression and boundary violations translate into inflammation, and why anger, shame, and safety are biological—not just psychological—processes. The episode closes with a grounded conversation on post-traumatic growth: what it means to live in partnership with the body, retrain predictions through sensory and interoceptive work, and expand resilience alongside medical care. This is an invitation to replace self-blame with curiosity—and to see regulation, expression, and safety as central to immune health.     Timestamps 00:00 – Intro: Autoimmune as protection, not self-attack 08:40 – Autoimmune, ACEs, gender, and nervous system prediction 21:05 – Chronic inflammation, HPA axis & the inflammatory reflex 35:20 – Boundaries, anger, shame & post-traumatic growth 52:00 – Closing reflections & integration     Key Takeaways Autoimmune responses can be understood as nervous-system outputs shaped by prediction and chronic threat. Early adversity, emotional suppression, and social stress significantly increase inflammatory load. Boundaries are physiological capacities rooted in interoception and proprioception—not just communication skills. Training safety, expression, and regulation can complement medical care and reduce flare frequency.     Call to Action:   Join us for a free NSI workshop Feb 11: Integrating the Nervous System with Precision and Purpose: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/integration-workshop/   Learn to work with Boundaries at the level of the body and nervous system at boundaryrewire.com Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.  Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired    Get a two-week free trial of neurosomatic training at rewiretrial.com Resources Mentioned NIH – Autoimmune Diseases & Women: https://orwh.od.nih.gov/research/maternal-morbidity-mortality/autoimmune-diseases Danese & Lewis (2017) Psychoneuroimmunology of Early-Life Stress: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27860545/ Dube et al. (2009) ACEs & Autoimmune Risk: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19234146/ McEwen & Gianaros (2016) Stress, Brain & Disease: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26766224/ Dickerson & Kemeny (2004) Shame, Social Threat & Inflammation: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15250837/   Disclaimer: Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and RewireTrial.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com. All rights in our content are reserved.  

Jennifer Wallace talks new book ‘Mattering'; Top wedding trends for 2026 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jennifer Wallace talks new book ‘Mattering'; Top wedding trends for 2026 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In her new book, ⁠Mattering⁠, Jennifer Wallace argues that our deepest crises — loneliness, anxiety, political rage — stem from a single unmet need: the need to matter. How did this happen, and what can we do about it? The Next Big Idea is now on YouTube! Check out our episodes ⁠here⁠. If you enjoyed this conversation, we think you'll like Jennifer's previous appearance on the show, her episode of The Next Big Idea Daily, and Rebecca Goldstein's book bite for The Mattering Instinct. Follow Rufus on LinkedIn, subscribe to our Substack, or send us an email. The best way to support the show is by becoming a Next Big Idea Club member. Learn more at nextbigideaclub.com, and use code PODCAST for a super secret discount (spoiler: it's 20% off). Today's episode is sponsored by Shopify. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/nbi⁠

As humans, we have a deep desire to know we're needed and that our community values who we are and our contributions. Jennifer Wallace is the author of the forthcoming book Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. “Mattering is like gravity,” she says, “When we feel it, we feel anchored. We show up to the world in positive ways, we want to connect, we want to engage and contribute.” But, she says, mattering is eroding, leading to loneliness, anxiety, and burnout. She speaks with podcast host and author Kelly Corrigan and Northeastern University psychology professor David DeSteno about how we can build cultures of mattering in our homes, workplaces, and communities.

Today, Jennifer Wallace shares a blueprint for living a meaningful life and creating a world we so urgently need. Her new book is Mattering. And later in the show, you'll hear from Zach Mercurio. Sponsored By: Shopify - Start your $1/month trial at shopify.com/daily

In a world that's more connected than ever yet feels increasingly lonely, award-winning journalist Jennifer B. Wallace explores why the simple human need to matter may be the most powerful force shaping our well-being. Joining Yael to discuss her new book, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, Jennifer underscores the crucial role of mattering in fostering resilience and well-being, emphasizing its importance in both personal and professional contexts. You'll gain practical ways to cultivate a sense of mattering, learn about the importance of attunement in relationships, and understand the significance of social contexts in mental health. She also reflects on the impact of technology on our social connections and the valuable lessons learned from her research on creating ecosystems that support mattering.Listen and Learn: The discovery that shifted Jennifer's entire research focus and why the real key to kids' resilience may actually lie in how adults experience purpose, value, and “mattering” in their own livesWhy “mattering” goes beyond belonging or purpose and how feeling both valued and impactful may be the hidden factor that determines whether people truly engage or quietly burn outHow a simple moment of everyday rudeness can quietly undermine our sense of mattering, and why understanding that reaction can completely change how you interpret (and respond to) those interactionsHow a lesson learned from Jennifer's father about making people feel like they matter shaped their entire lifeWhy feeling like you “matter” isn't something you can fix alone, and how small, often uncomfortable moments of connection, dependence, and even friction are actually where real healing and meaning are builtWhy do some people never seem to feel that they matter, even when the evidence is right in front of them, and what actually helps (and doesn't) when you're trying to show someone they do?How attunement can transform everyday interactions and make people feel deeply seen, valued, and connectedResources:Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose by Jennifer B. Wallace: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593850596 Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It by Jennifer B. Wallace: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593191866 Jennifer's Website: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/Connect with Jennifer on Social Media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-b-wallace/https://www.instagram.com/jenniferbrehenywallace Yael's newsletter on “phubbing” with Jaqueline Nesi: https://relationalriffs.substack.com/p/are-you-phubbing-your-partner Empathy Diaries by Sherry Turkle: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780525560111 Power of Discord by Ed Tronick and Claudia Goldstein: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-power-of-discord-why-the-ups-and-downs-of-relationships-are-the-secret-to-building-intimacy-resilience-and-trust-claudia-m-gold-md/f91287b2b45f7311?ean=9780316488877&next=tAbout Jennifer B WallaceJennifer Breheny Wallace is an award-winning journalist and author of the New York Times bestselling book Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—And What We Can Do About It, which was named an Amazon Best Book of the Year, and for which she joined us on POTC episode 324. She's also the founder of The Mattering Institute, whose mission is to create cultures of mattering in workplaces and communities, and co-founder of The Mattering Movement, a nonprofit dedicated to creating cultures of mattering in schools. Jennifer started her journalism career at CBS's 60 Minutes. She's contributed to The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post, and she's here today to talk about her forthcoming book Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.Related Episodes:168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen179. How to be an Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson324. Toxic Achievement Culture with Jennifer WallaceSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when achievement stops motivating and starts measuring worth? In this episode, I sit down with Jennifer Wallace to talk about how achievement culture quietly shapes our kids and us based on her New York Times Best Selling Book Never Enough:When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It. We unpack why so many high-performing kids struggle with anxiety, burnout, and a constant never-enough feeling, even when they look successful on the outside. We also preview her newest book, Mattering, which explores a simple but powerful idea: kids do better when they feel valued for who they are and when they see how they add value to others. That sense of mattering acts as a buffer against pressure, comparison, and setbacks. We also talk about the bigger picture, how economic pressure, school culture, and social media fuel comparison, and why parents are not failing for feeling stuck in this system. In this episode, we discuss: • Why high-achieving kids are at higher risk for anxiety and burnout • How achievement culture shapes long-term self-worth • Clean fuel vs fear-based motivation • Why mattering supports resilience and mental health • How comparison takes hold and how social media adds pressure • How parents can support healthy striving without pressure • Why kids should not worry alone and the role of adult support To connect with Jennifer Wallace follow her on Instagram @Jenniferbrehenywallace, check out all her resources at Jenniferbwallace.com and buy her books “Mattering” https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/preorder and “Never Enough” https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough .  00:00 Why praise alone does not build self worth 00:40 Why this conversation matters for parents today 02:16 The hidden cost of achievement culture 03:37 How achievement came to define childhood 05:05 From teen pressure to adult never enough 07:14 What achievement culture looks like later in life 07:50 Dirty fuel vs clean fuel for motivation 11:13 When self worth becomes tied to success 12:08 What the research shows about high achieving kids 16:33 Why pressure feels worse now 18:18 What resilient kids have in common 39:07 Redefining achievement as mattering Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and ⁠subscribe to PedsDocTalk⁠. Get trusted pediatric advice, relatable parenting insights, and evidence-based tips delivered straight to your inbox—join thousands of parents who rely on the PDT newsletter to stay informed, supported, and confident. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠! And don't forget to follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠@pedsdoctalkpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Instagram—our new space just for parents looking for real talk and real support. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the ⁠PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships⁠ page of the website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever shared an idea, been met with silence, and felt your body instantly brace like something was wrong? Or walked to your car and suddenly felt flooded by an old fear, even though nothing "new" happened? In this episode, we explore how trauma and chronic stress can shift the brain from learning mode into survival mode, shaping what we remember, how we recall it, and how safe it feels to stay curious. You will hear why memory is not a perfect recording, how present-day state influences recall, and how the nervous system can tag even subtle cues, like a pause or a tone, as danger when past experiences taught your body that silence equals disconnection. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, co-hosts Elisabeth Kristof (founder of BrainBased.com and the Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching Certification) and Jennifer Wallace (Neurosomatic Psychedelic Preparation and Integration Guide) are joined by Matt Bush, founder of Next Level Neuro and lead educator in the NSI certification. Together, they unpack explicit vs. implicit memory, how the hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex influence recall and learning, and how regulation, sensory inputs, and repetition can support integration and post-traumatic growth.   Timestamps: 00:00 A real-life trigger: when silence, social cues, or context flips the body into survival 08:00 Memory basics: explicit vs. implicit, plus episodic, semantic, emotional, and procedural memory 16:00 Why memory is reconstructive: state, prediction, and sensory integration shape recall 24:00 Trauma + memory: hippocampus, amygdala, and why facts fade while sensations intensify 33:00 Learning after trauma: attention as a nervous system state, and why willpower is not the lever 42:00 Memory reconsolidation and "windows" for updating threat charge with regulation 55:00 Psychedelics, preparation, and nervous system training: capacity, safety, and integration 1:07:00 Motivation, dopamine pathways, and rebuilding curiosity through safe repetition 1:18:00 Closing reframes: contraction and expansion, neurodiversity, and reducing sensory "noise" Key Takeaways: Trauma can disrupt how memories are stored and recalled, especially under high stress, without it being a personal failure. Memory is reconstructive, and your current nervous system state can change how both positive and negative memories feel. Learning is embodied: attention, curiosity, and motivation depend on safety signals in the body, not just mindset. Regulation plus recall can create opportunities to update threat charge and build new predictions over time. Repetition is not just practice. It is consistent exposure to safety while doing something new. Resources Mentioned: Free live 90-minute workshop: Neurosomatic.com/Integration  NSI Community: Neurosomatic.com  BrainBased: BrainBased.com  Next Level Neuro: Nextlevelneuro.com Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.   Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired    Call to Action: Subscribe on your favorite audio platform or join us on YouTube!

Feeling that our life is meaningful - that we add value to the world and are valued by the people around us, isn't just a good feeling, it's a fundamentally necessary one. In fact, the need to matter is a universal human motive, second only to the needs of food and shelter.  On this episode we'll talk to author Jennifer Wallace about her new book on the topic of mattering, why we're in a “mattering deficit,” the worrying impact this is having on our physical and emotional health, and what we can do to change that. And Duke researcher Patty Van Cappellen will share studies showing how spirituality and religious community can instill a deep sense of meaning in life that contributes to true human flourishing. Jennifer Wallace is an award-winning journalist and the author of Mattering. You can find more about her work on her website.Patty Van Cappellen, Ph.D., is an associate research professor at the Social Science Research Institute and the Department for Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University.

When it feels like the world is on fire, it's hard to know what's in your control and what's out of your hands. This hour, TED speakers explain ways you can reclaim your agency. Guests include financial advisor Matt Pitcher, sociologist Anindya Kundu, journalist Jennifer Wallace and design thinking professor Bill Burnett.TED Radio Hour+ subscribers now get access to bonus episodes, with more ideas from TED speakers and a behind the scenes look with our producers. A Plus subscription also lets you listen to regular episodes (like this one!) without sponsors. Sign-up at: plus.npr.org/tedLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Best-selling author Jennifer Wallace stops by studio 1A to offer a guide to connection and lifting each other up, the topic of her new book “Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose”. Also, Al Roker travels to the Kennedy Space Center to tour Nasa's Artemis II Rocket and chat with the crew before their historic mission next month. And Today lifestyle and fashion contributor, Melissa Garcia, shares the winter products to help keep you warm, hydrated, and stress-free until spring arrives. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Do you ever feel like you don't have a reason to get out of bed? Or maybe you feel lonely, even when you're in a room full of people? If you've ever wondered what it truly means to feel valued and important, this episode is for you. My guest is Jennifer Wallace, a journalist and the author of Mattering. She explains that mattering is a fundamental human need that comes right after food and shelter. When we feel like we matter, we thrive. But when that need goes unmet, we can become anxious, depressed, or angry. Fortunately, we can all do things that remind us that we matter. Some of the things we discuss are: The difference between mattering, belonging, and purpose Why being needed isn't the same as mattering How to feel like you matter without chasing achievement and recognition The one question to ask yourself every morning to prove to yourself that you matter How to rebuild your sense of mattering after a major life transition like a divorce, job loss, or relocation A simple formula for finding a sense of mattering by adding value to the world How to handle people who act out because they feel like they don't matter Subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mentally Stronger Premium⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for exclusive content like weekly bonus episodes, mental strength challenges, and office hours with me. Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 32 — Help Kids Build Self-Worth amid a Toxic Achievement Culture with Author Jennifer Wallace ⁠⁠⁠119 — Turning Your Pain Into Purpose With Juice WRLD's Mother Carmela Wallace Links & Resources ⁠JenniferBWallace.com ⁠⁠Mattering⁠ Connect with the Show Buy a copy of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with Amy on Instagram —⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@AmyMorinAuthor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit my website —⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AmyMorinLCSW.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sponsors Quince — Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/stronger⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns! Shopify — Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shopify.com/mentallystronger⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Lola Blankets — Get 35% off your entire order at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lolablankets.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ by using code STRONGER at checkout. Experience the world's #1 blanket with Lola Blankets. AirDoctor — Head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AirDoctorPro.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and use promo code STRONGER to get UP TO $300 off today! Function Health — Visit ⁠⁠functionhealth.com/stronger⁠⁠ or use gift code STRONGER25 for a $25 credit toward your membership. One Skin — Go to ⁠oneskin.co/STRONGER⁠ and use code stronger to get up to 30% off your first 3 subscription orders Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt like you have done everything "right" and you still hit a stress ceiling? You have gone to therapy, set boundaries, practiced self-care, learned regulation, and yet you still find yourself snapping, shutting down, or running on empty. This episode explores what it can look like to move beyond coping and into true emotional capacity. Not a life without stress, but a wider internal ability to meet life as it is, without collapsing into burnout or disconnection. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, co-hosts Elisabeth Kristof (founder of BrainBased.com and the Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching Certification) and Jennifer Wallace (Neurosomatic Psychedelic Preparation and Integration Guide, founder of Sacred Synapse) are joined by RaQuel Hopkins, a therapist and certified coach known for her work on capacity and adult development. Together, they unpack the difference between resilience, distress tolerance, and capacity, why "regulation" can sometimes become suppression, and how relating to emotions as data can create more choice. They also explore boundaries through the lens of self-trust, and why honoring "I do not want to" can be a meaningful step toward recovery and growth.   Timestamps: 00:00 – Why "doing everything right" can still feel like a ceiling 06:30 – What capacity means (and why it is about who you become) 14:30 – Resilience vs distress tolerance vs capacity 23:30 – Emotional strength, fragility, and the regulation misconception 34:30 – Boundaries, self-trust, and choice vs depletion 46:30 – Protective emotions, curiosity, and integration 56:30 – Corporate environments, pressure, and being human at work 1:03:00 – Closing reflections and where to find RaQuel 1:05:30 – Listener invitation and next steps (trial + workshop) Key Takeaways: Capacity is not just "holding more." It can be about meeting life as it is and adapting without losing yourself. Regulation is not the same thing as calm. It is about modulation and appropriate responsiveness. Emotional strength includes feeling emotions without being defined by them. Emotions can be information, not directives. A "hard no" can sometimes be a signal of depletion, not clarity. Self-trust can reduce the need to announce boundaries. Protective patterns once helped you survive. Growth can start with curiosity rather than judgment. Resources Mentioned: Free live 90-minute workshop: Neurosomatic.com/Integration  NSI Community: Neurosomatic.com  BrainBased: BrainBased.com  Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.   Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired  Call to Action: Subscribe on your favorite audio platform or join us on YouTube!

In this episode, I sit down with award winning journalist and author Jennifer Wallace, to talk about her new work on mattering—the need to feel seen, valued, and needed. We explore how mattering emerged as a powerful protective factor for kids growing up in high-pressure, achievement-driven environments, and why so many adults today feel lonely, disengaged, or untethered. Jennifer shares the SAID framework—feeling significant, appreciated, invested in, and depended on—and we talk about what this looks like in real life, at home, at work, and in our communities. This conversation is about practical, doable ways to help our kids (and ourselves) feel like we matter—without more pressure, perfection, or performance.I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans Here: https://bit.ly/3rMLMsLSubscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/Follow me on Instagram for more:@raisinggoodhumanspodcast Sponsors:Quince: Go to Quince.com/humans for free shipping on your order and 365-day returnExperian: Get started with the Experian App now!Brodo: Head to Brodo.com/HUMANS for20% off your first subscription order and use code HUMANS for an additional $10 offSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the places we have been hurt most, our relationships, can also become the places where we grow? In this episode, we explore relational healing as a powerful driver of post-traumatic growth. Together, we unpack why safe connection can feel threatening after complex trauma, how protective patterns like fight, freeze, and fawn are intelligent adaptations (not personal failures), and why "capacity" is less about willpower and more about what your nervous system can hold in real time. You will hear how micro-moments of self attunement can reduce hypervigilance, build trust from the inside out, and turn insight into embodied change. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, co-hosts Elisabeth Kristof (founder of BrainBased.com and the Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching Certification) and Jennifer Wallace (Neurosomatic Psychedelic Preparation and Integration Guide) are joined by Piper Rose, a Neurosomatic Relationship Coach, founder of Shadowplay Coaching, and Director of Operations and Continuing Education at NSI. Piper shares an honest, grounded look at how co-regulation, repair, and "the burden of love" can become a training ground for deeper intimacy, resilience, and self compassion. Timestamps: 00:00 Intro: Why healing is relational, not just individual 03:30 Meet Piper Rose and what "Neurosomatic Relationship Coaching" means 08:20 Trauma, attachment wounding, and protective F responses in relationships 16:10 Reframing patterns as adaptations, not defects, and finding the "gifts" inside them 22:40 Neuroscience of connection: co-regulation, threat prediction, and updating the model 31:30 Why safe relationships can trigger fear, emotional flashbacks, and vulnerability 41:10 Self attunement, needs, and practicing repair in micro-moments 49:20 Community, nature, and animals as lower-risk pathways to relational practice 56:30 Closing reflections: building trust, capacity, and support beyond one relationship Key Takeaways: Relational patterns like fight, freeze, and fawn are often strategic survival adaptations, not signs you are "broken." Safe connection can feel dangerous when your nervous system is trained to predict harm in intimacy. "Capacity" is not just skill or knowledge. It is whether your body can access those skills under pressure. Self attunement, like responding to thirst, overwhelm, or startle, builds a foundation for secure internal attachment and clearer boundaries. You do not have to do relational healing alone. Support teams, community, nature, and animals can provide safe enough co-regulation while you build trust. Resources Mentioned: Free live 90-minute workshop: Neurosomatic.com/Integration  NSI Community: Neurosomatic.com  BrainBased: BrainBased.com Sacred Synapse: an educational YouTube channel founded by Jennifer Wallace that explores nervous system regulation, applied neuroscience, consciousness, and psychedelic preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence.   Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence. FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired Cozolino, L. J. (2014). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain (2nd ed.). W. W. Norton & Company Call to Action: Subscribe on your favorite audio platform or join us on YouTube!