Podcast appearances and mentions of rachel reed

Send us a textIt's the season finale, and I'm delighted to wrap up with a powerful and thought-provoking conversation featuring the incredible Dr Rachel Reed - midwife, educator, author, and advocate for physiological birth.In this episode, we dive deep into the topic of Meconium-Stained Amniotic Fluid something that often triggers alarm bells during labour. But should it? Rachel helps us unpack the physiology, the myths, and the medical responses surrounding meconium in the waters.This conversation is essential listening for anyone preparing for birth, especially those wanting to feel informed and empowered in situations where the language of risk is used to justify intervention.We explore:What meconium actually is - and when it's considered 'normal'Why the presence of meconium doesn't always mean distressThe difference between thin and thick meconium - and why that mattersHow maternity systems often respond to meconium stained amniotic fluidHow to approach decision-making with confidence and contextAbout Dr Rachel Reed:Rachel is renowned for her evidence-based approach and her ability to reframe complex birth topics with clarity and wisdom. She's the author of Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage, and Why Induction Matters. Her MidwifeThinking blog became a go-to resource for birth professionals and parents alike.Resources mentioned:Rachel's website: www.rachelreed.websiteRachel's Blog https://www.rachelreed.website/blogInstagram: @dr.rachel.reedThank you for joining me this season.Whether you've listened to one episode or every single one, I'm so grateful for your time and energy. This show is for you - for every birth partner, mother, and supporter who wants to walk into birth feeling prepared, powerful, and protected. I'll be back in September with more conversations that challenge, inform, and inspire.If this episode spoke to you, please leave a review or share it with someone preparing for birth. Your support helps this podcast reach those who need it most.If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesfordIf you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/LabourofloveThe Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9dfPregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth' - Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmOPregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPFYou can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

In this episode, we hear from Lise, an inspiring Canadian mum who achieved an unassisted VBA2C homebirth while managing Type 1 diabetes. Lise's journey is one of resilience, self-trust, and unwavering determination as she navigated a system that often felt disempowering to take control of her birthing experience.After two previous Caesarean births, both prompted by concerns over reduced movements late in her pregnancies, Lise faced immense challenges. Both of her boys were taken to special care shortly after birth—an experience she refers to as “medical kidnapping,” where implied consent allowed care to be provided without proper consultation. These experiences fuelled her desire for a different, more autonomous birth journey.During her third pregnancy, Lise dedicated herself to researching, listening to birth stories, and reading empowering birth books, including Rachel Reed's Rites of Passage. Feeling healthy and confident, she managed her diabetes at home with continuous blood sugar monitoring and a proactive approach to her care.However, the journey wasn't without its obstacles. Staying with her in-laws late in pregnancy, Lise was told at 40 weeks that she was no longer welcome to birth in their home due to fears of potential litigation. Undeterred, Lise quickly found alternative accommodation at an Airbnb, where she birthed her baby with a trusted birth companion by her side.Lise's story is a testament to the strength of trusting your body, doing your research, and taking control of your birth experience, even in complex circumstances.Here's what you'll learn in this episode: Lise's experiences with two prior Caesareans and the challenges of navigating medicalised care. Perspectives of type 1 diabetes and detangling diabetes from birth.  The emotional impact of “medical kidnapping” and implied consent in her earlier births. How she took charge of her health and planned for an unassisted VBA2C at home. The hurdles she faced at 40 weeks and how she overcame them to birth her way.

In this continuation of our discussion, Ashley and Jade dive deep into the history of midwifery and its transformation over the years. They explore the ripple effects of medicalisation, the current roles of birth workers, and the challenges created by the fear-driven narratives surrounding free birth. With a focus on fostering collaboration and understanding, this episode shines a light on what's needed to create a more inclusive and supportive birthing environment. What they discuss in This Episode:

In this special episode, we're revisiting one of our most popular and most downloaded episodes featuring the incredible Dr. Rachel Reed. Dr. Reed is a renowned midwife, researcher, and author with over 25 years of experience in birth work. She is a passionate advocate for women's autonomy in childbirth and the natural physiological process of birth. Her groundbreaking books, "Why Induction Matters" and "Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage", provide invaluable insights into the birth experience, challenging mainstream perspectives, and encouraging women to trust their bodies. Join us as we dive deep into why understanding your options in childbirth, including induction, can make a world of difference in shaping your experience, and how reclaiming childbirth as a sacred journey can empower and transform you. Ready to prepare for your own empowered birth? Check out my Journey to Birth Online Hypnobirthing Program to learn tools and techniques to support a positive birth experience. Use the code PODCAST10 for 10% off your purchase at www.belly2birth.com.au! Tune in and get ready to feel informed and empowered!

Many women spend all of their time preparing for birth and what to put on their baby registry. But often times they forget to plan for other aspects of postpartum, especially breastfeeding. If you're a first-time mom worried about breastfeeding or a doula who wants to better support her clients as they begin the breastfeeding process, you'll want to check out this episode. Midwife and IBCLC, Katie James, shares SO much valuable information. Connect with Katie at katiejames.siteLearn about breastfeeding with Katie by taking one of her lactation courses: https://www.katiejames.site/courses-frontListen to Katie and Dr. Rachel Reed speak on topics such as midwifery, birth, lactation, and motherhood on the Midwives' Cauldron Podcast.Listen to beautiful and unique feeding stories on The Feeding Couch Podcast.Did you know you can text me?!Support the Show.Download the First 3 Steps to VBAC Guide: https://www.thehannahgill.com/firststepsDownload the Doula VBAC and Repeat Cesarean Guide: https://www.thehannahgill.com/newdoulatips

In this episode, I get a bit ranty and share some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind lately as I ponder how we can collectively raise the VBAC birth rates world wide. This episode is a bit of a rant inspired by Rachel Reed's amazing book, Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage: Weaving Ancient Wisdom with Modern Knowledge. This work is emotional, deeply human, and profoundly important. Supporting women in their childbirth journeys is inherently emotional. It's a human experience that started for me with my own personal story. When I had my first baby in 2014, I felt a profound lack of information and support. Enjoy this episode, Ashley x More from Ashley: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The VBAC Village ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@ashleylwinning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.ashleywinning.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join our VBAC Homebirth Support ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Group here

“It was perfect. It really was. I would do it again and I would do it the exact same way. I felt safe and I felt respected and I felt like there was never a moment in it that I was scared.”Emmy's first birth was a medicated hospital birth turned C-section after two hours of unsuccessful pushing. Her greatest trauma was being so out of it that her first thoughts after her baby was born were, “I don't care.” Her multiple failed epidural/spinal placements caused intense postpartum spinal headaches. Overall, Emmy's difficult experiences were a recipe for postpartum depression and anxiety.After finding The VBAC Link, Julie and Meagan became Emmy's virtual friends helping her through tough postpartum days. When she became pregnant again, Emmy knew that Julie Francom needed to be on her team. Emmy shares how she made the choice to switch from planning a hospital VBAC to an HBAC and how home birth relates to cows! Her birth was powerful, intuitive, and healing.After her husband caught their baby and Emmy pulled her up to her chest, she shares the most healing moment of all. “I wasn't thinking in my head, ‘I don't care'. I was thinking that I had this beautiful little baby in my arms. It was what I had dreamed of. “CDC ArticleThe VBAC Link Doula DirectoryThe VBAC Link Facebook CommunityDown to Birth PodcastDr. Stu's WebsiteThe VBAC Link Blog: Choosing Between Home Birth or VBACBirth Becomes You Birth Photographer DirectoryHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Julie: Hello, hello. Surprise! It's Julie here and I'm super excited to be here with you guys today. I always love coming on the podcast with Meagan you guys know. I love to get a little bit salty and a little bit straight-up talk on the podcast. I quite enjoy my time here but I am a little extra excited and a little bit less spicy and salty because I have a client of mine. Her name is Emmy and she just had a VBAC about 3 weeks or 4 weeks ago. Has it already been 4 weeks? Oh shoot, I owe you your gallery already. It'll be done in a few days. But I photographed her birth and she is incredible. It is super exciting because she is going to tell you more about this. She actually reached out to me 2 years ago when I was still doing doula work at the beginning of her journey after her C-section baby and it's just super fun to be here full circle with her and have her share her story. I want to hear it from her perspective. I haven't heard it from her perspective yet. We are just going to have lots of fun chit-chatting. You guys are going to come to love Emmy just like I do. But before we do that, Meagan has a Review of the Week for us. Wait, did I say it's Julie? Did I introduce myself? Meagan: Yes, you did. Julie: I feel like some people don't know. You have been doing solo episodes for a really long time and I feel like some people don't know who I am anymore which feels kind of weird to me. Meagan: You are the famous Julie. Julie: The famous Julie. Anyways, Julie Francom, co-founder of The VBAC Link. I separated a couple of years ago but pop in every once in a while to get a little bit salty. If you know, you know. Anyway, here's Meagan. Meagan has a Review of the Week for us and I'm going let her do the rest of the things. Meagan: If you know, you know. Okay, we have a review. It's from lar23 and it's titled “Love Your Podcast”. It says, “Hi Meagan. I love your podcast so much. I always end up crying at the end of them. So happy for these moms who get their VBAC. Thank you for creating this podcast. It's so inspiring to hear these stories. I'm 38 weeks pregnant currently and hoping to get my VBAC here soon. Keep doing what you're doing. You're helping so many people and doing so well to achieve their birth dreams knowing that we are not alone. Thank you for that.” That was left on Apple Podcasts and that was actually just about a year ago so lar23, if you are still listening, we always love to know how things went so maybe write us in at info@thevbaclink.com. If you haven't left us a review yet, please do. We love them. They make us smile and guess what? I actually even still share them with Julie today. Julie: It's true. I love getting a good screenshot of a review. It makes my heart happy still. Meagan: Right? They do. Every single time they come in, my smile immediately grows from ear to ear. Okay, are we ready? Julie: Yeah. Meagan: Julie, Emmy, let's do this. Let's hear this amazing birth story. I was reading a little bit of her bio part and can I just tell you that there is one little thing that stuck out? It all stuck out, but there was one little thing. “I found a doula I loved. I hired Julie Francom as my birth photographer. You bet I felt starstruck.” It says, “I interviewed multiple midwives before choosing one. Originally, I planned a hospital birth, but the more research I did and after listening to the podcast with Dr. Stu, I felt very strongly that a home birth was right for me. I was just as shocked as the guy that I told the next day that I felt that way.” Can I just say that stood out to me? You hired the doula. You found an amazing photographer who is also a doula. You interviewed multiple people. All right. I'm just going to leave that right there for the intro to your second story and let's cue the first story. Julie: Let's go. I'm excited. “I felt starstruck”. It's still weird to me when people are like, Oh my gosh. I don't know if that's what you were like, but it's just so funny. Anyway, sorry. Go ahead, Emmy. Emmy: Yeah, we'll start with the first one and then I'll talk about my starstruck interview with Julie. Yeah. It was 3 years ago almost exactly because I had my kids a day apart 3 years apart– March 14th and March 15th so it was 3 years ago, I was teaching 6th grade and it was a new subject and a new school so that was my focus. I did zero prep, but I was so optimistic. I'm like, Everyone goes in and has a baby. We did nothing. Suddenly when my water at 39 and a few days started to leak, we were like, Okay, we go straight to the hospital. My water hadn't even broken. It was just a leak. Meagan: That's what you're told a lot of the time. If your water breaks, you go in. Emmy: Yeah, so you'd sit down and a little gush would happen. We high-tailed straight over to the hospital. I was feeling Braxton Hicks contractions. They weren't even painful yet. They checked me and to quote, I was maybe a half-centimeter dilated. I said, “Great. When can I get the epidural?” She was like, “You can get it right now.” I'm like, “Fantastic. This is greater than my wildest dreams right now,” because at that moment, I had done no prep so my fear was of the pain. The fact that I was getting this epidural before I even felt pain was amazing in my head. I get the epidural at maybe a half-centimeter dilated and I lay on my back on a bed for 30 hours. I did do the peanut ball a little bit back and forth. There was some movement there, but as far as any other real movement, there was nothing. Little did I know, he was OP and now I've done a lot more research on OP babies and learned a lot about how OP babies need movement. I read a whole article from Rachel Reed that was just talking about how the most important thing for an OP baby was movement and I did not move. It was probably no surprise now looking back that I started to have really horrible back labor having an OP baby which if you've had back labor, it's not like a normal contraction where you have a 60-second contraction and then you have a 10-minute break. It is continuous and it is awful. Meagan: Not great. It's not great. Emmy: Excruciating and it goes all the way up your back. I'm numb from the waist down but it was going all the way up my back to my neck and it was continuous. I was just in excruciating pain for hours and hours. I was just holding on to the side of the bed just dying.Meagan: I can already relate so much. I was holding. I'm like, Help me. Do something. Emmy: That's so funny. Do something. I was dying. I finally get to complete and I pushed for 2 hours and I remember the OB pretty vividly. I remember him being like, “Okay. You've pushed for 2 hours. When I went to school, they said to let a mom push for 4 hours and now they say to let a mom push for however long she wants.” She was like, “You can either keep pushing or you can just go in for a C-section and we can get this over with.” I mean, I was done. I was like, “Cut him out.” Meagan: Sure. Yeah. And if you are given that, it's like the golden ticket. You could have your baby right now and not continue this. Sign me up. Yeah. Emmy: So I was like, “Yep, please cut him out.” So they wheeled me into the OR and sorry. While I was pushing, I guess from the hours of back labor, my back had seized. I could not bend it. While I was in that pushing phase, he kept saying, “Okay, do a crunch. Sit up in a C formation.” I was like, “My back is not moving. It is unresponsive. It's not that I won't. It's that I can't.”Then they wheeled me into the OR and I'm getting a spinal block and they are telling me, “Your epidural needs to be a C position.” I'm like, “My back is not moving. I've never experienced this before. It is unresponsive right now.” He tried three times to get the spinal block in. Two times it came out and the needle was bent because it was just hitting. Meagan: Oh my gosh. Emmy: Third time's the charm. So I had five. Three times from the spinal block and then it had taken the epidural twice to get it in so I had five punctures which makes more sense when I talk about my spinal headache later on. They finally get the spinal block in and they lay me flat on my back. It went from the back labor had been agonizing, but for some reason when they laid me on my back, it was intolerable. I started thrashing. I was like, “My back, my back!” I started thrashing. I'm under the impression that he gave me morphine, but whatever he gave me, I went warm. My whole body went warm and numb. I couldn't move anything and in my head, I'm like, Thank heavens. I don't care what he just gave me but I'm so grateful right now that this pain has gone away. But then like I said, I believe it was morphine. It moved up into my lungs and my breath started getting shallower and shallower and shallower. I'm like, I'm suffocating right now. My breath was getting more and more shallow and I started to panic more and more. Meagan: Scary. Emmy: I turned to the anesthesiologist to say, “I can't breathe.” Nothing came out. The morphine had also affected my vocal cords and so I'm looking at him, I'm like, I can't breathe. I'm just mouthing the words and he's not looking at me. So then I look over at my husband who is also not looking at me. I'm like, “I can't breathe.” I'm looking between these people like, I'm going to die on this table and nobody is going to even know because they are not looking at me and I can't talk right now. Meagan: Oh my gosh. Emmy: Yeah, finally my husband looked at me and he's like, “She says she can't breathe.” He looked at my stats. He's like, “No, her oxygen levels look fine. She's fine.” In my head, I'm like, No, I'm dying. He put an oxygen mask on me and in that moment, I closed my eyes and I'm like, I'm just going to focus on breathing because right now I'm in a complete panic attack that I'm dying. They got him out. I heard him cry. They took him to the NICU and for however long they were gone, I remember a nurse saying to me, “Do you want to meet your baby?” In that moment, in my head, I was just like, I don't care. I don't care. Colin comes walking in with a swaddled baby with tears rolling down his face. Colin is my husband, sorry. Colin comes in with tears running down his face holding a swaddled baby and I could have truly cared less. Out of all the traumatic things that have happened to me in my birth up to that moment, that is the moment that sticks with me the most where it's like that is the moment you dream of as you are preparing especially for this first child to come into the world. It's that moment when you get to hold your baby for the first time and for me that first moment in my head was, I don't care. That really slingshotted my passion for this next birth. It was going to be amazing and I'm going to make sure of it. I heard a quote recently that was like, “Passion a lot of the time stems from trauma.” I felt that so deeply in my bones at that moment. I was like, I look back at the last 2 years and some months since I've had the baby and I've been so passionate about it. It definitely stemmed from my trauma from my first birth. Julie: Oh my gosh, yes. I relate to that too. That is why I'm so salty dang it. Meagan: I know. It's hard. It's hard when you do have that passion and then you are seeing people going in the direction that we were going that created that passion and possibly trauma. It's hard because you are like, No, no, no, no! Don't go there. Come over here. We want to help and save and yeah, do whatever we can do, right? Emmy: Yeah, and unfortunately, my postpartum experience wasn't really that much better. I really struggled with postpartum as I not only was recovering from a C-section but a few days later, I developed a spinal headache which is where they have punctured the membrane around your spinal cord so it starts leaking fluid. You'll sit up and it starts leaking fluid and it's an immediate migraine. You're trying to go to the bathroom. You're trying to feed your baby and you are dying from a migraine. It's kind of a peculiar thing because the moment you lay down, the moment your head hits the pillow, it goes away. When you sit up, it's leaking this fluid but when you are lying down, you're not leaking the spinal fluid and it goes away. I called my sister and she was like, “Oh, I've heard of that. It's a spinal headache.” I called my OB and told him my symptoms. He was like, “Yeah, you can either go into the hospital and get a blood patch or it'll go away in two weeks.” I'm like, Two weeks? I'm not waiting two weeks for this to go away. I can't even sit up to try and feed my baby let alone function. Meagan: Oh, so did you go get the blood patch? How was that? For someone who may have experienced this or if they experience it, can you explain the process of that? Emmy: Yeah. I mean, it's uncomfortable and kind of painful. You go in but it's also pretty amazing too. You go in and lie down. They pull quite a bit of blood from your arm. They numb the spot that is leaking which was where I had five dots from all of the different needles and they put that blood into that spot and so the blood goes in and it clots where it is leaking and you lay there for about a half hour and you sit up and it's gone. It was pretty amazing. I sat up and I was scared and it was immediately gone, but you add so much blood into that area that it is filled with pressure for three days so it's like you can't really bend your back. That's kind of the theme of my story I guess is I can never bend my back. For three days, I couldn't bend my back or it would spasm from that spot. But it did get away from the spinal headache and if I had another spinal headache, I would do it again. Meagan: Okay, good to know. Emmy: But yeah, so I did go in and get the blood patch. It fixed the problem, but I recovered from a C-section. I had this blood patch. I really struggled with breastfeeding. I know now that I had a lactation specialist, an IBCLC come to my house after my second birth. She looked at his tongue and she was like, “Oh, he's got a heart-shaped tongue. That's a severe tongue tie.” I didn't know that at the time. I know about tongue ties now but I didn't know about it then. I was just really struggling with breastfeeding and the pain from it. I was like, Something has to go and the only thing I have control over right now is breastfeeding. I chose to exclusively pump which comes with a whole other host of pros and cons but I chose to exclusively pump because I was like, Something needs to go pain-wise here and breastfeeding is the only one I can let go.Looking back, I really had a recipe for postpartum depression and anxiety. I had a traumatic birth and recovery from a C-section. Breastfeeding wasn't going well and he was a terrible sleeper for 3 months. I was extremely sleep-deprived and I didn't really plan my postpartum care well. I got one week that my mom and my husband were home at the same time and then they were gone but I still needed care after that for at least another week or two. My nutrition was poor because I was worrying about my nursery and cute clothes and my baby shower and stuff. I hadn't really thought about postpartum care with freezer meals and snacks and things like that so I was just starving which I'm sure didn't add to helping with postpartum depression and anxiety when your nutrition is poor. I was still worrying about work and had to go back to work 6 weeks later which was a stressor. Isolation is a big contributing factor to depression and anxiety and I just hadn't found a group of mom friends yet too. I was just giving out so I was home all day for the first 6 months. For the first 6 months, I really struggled with postpartum depression but I learned what a VBAC was the first week post C-section. I was like, What is this? What is this VBAC they speak of? Then I found The VBAC Link about the same time because I was Googling VBAC and I found your website which led me to the podcast. I was taking multiple walks a day at that time because I was just bored and I was just devouring The VBAC Link. Julie and Meagan were my best friends for the first– they were my only friends for the first 6 months. Meagan: Aww. Julie: I love that but it's also kind of sad but I also kind of love it. Emmy: Yeah. I was listening to your guys' voices. You were the people I talked to the most each day for a while. I just devoured it and I went from believing my C-section was necessary to seeing how one thing probably led to another and led to the cascade of interventions and just being like, Oh, I actually think I really could have done this if I had done things differently and prepared differently. I think I actually would have been able to do this the right way. Then listening to people talk about having this redemptive second birth, I'm like, Wow. People have births and like their births. I thought everybody just hates birth. I'm like, No. People are actually having births and enjoying their births. How do I get that? So it really spawned into this passion which came out of trauma but turned into a really great thing and about a year postpartum, I reached out to Julie because I was anticipating getting pregnant probably in the next year. I was like, I know I'm going to build the greatest team that I can in this area. In my vision, Julie is on that team. I reached out to her and you said in that first interview, you were like, “Okay, I am still doing doula work but I am starting to switch over to photography but I will honor your request for a birth doula.” I was like, “Great! Do you know any hospitals or midwife groups in-hospital who are VBAC friendly?” That was still in my head was that I was going to end up in a hospital. Julie gave me some midwife groups and some hospitals that she had good experiences with for VBACs and that was my plan moving forward. It wasn't until a year and 3 months later that I ended up getting pregnant and by that time, Julie was like, “I'm really just doing photography.” Julie: I told the Universe that this is the thing and Katie, your doula, will attest to this. I struggled going back and forth where my passion was and where my heart lay. I was like, Okay, I will do doula and photography for a little while. I told the Universe 16 times that I was only doing photography and then I felt like I had to stay committed to it and I really thought that you would be best served by a fully dedicated doula. In the end looking back, I think that was super the right choice. Anyway, yeah. That's kind of where that was. Emmy: Yeah, I'm really just doing photography now but I have a really great friend who has done the VBAC Link course and I'd love to do your photography. At the time, photography was not in the realm of my birth vision at all. It was actually something that was kind of weird to me. I thought, People photograph their births? But Julie was such a core keystone part of my birth that I was like, I don't care if you are there to be my massage therapist for this. You will be there. I ended up hiring a photographer because I wanted Julie to be there so badly. I wanted her knowledge there and then it ended up in the end being that I am so glad I have photos of this. This is so cool. I think all around we made the best choices having Katie. Shoutout to Katie who is the doula that Julie recommended. Meagan: She is amazing. Emmy: Yeah, she was not a bad recommendation at all. It was amazing. So I think in the end it turned out great to have Katie there and have Julie there. Everyone was in their right place. But yeah, when I reached out to Julie, I hadn't even thought about home birth. Home birth to me was woo-woo. I didn't have an interest in natural birth but I actually ended up listening to Dr. Stu who I know you have had on your podcast, but the first time I heard him was actually on the Down to Birth podcast, episode 111 if anyone is interested where he talks about his journey from being a regular OB/GYN to being a home birth OB/GYN. He dispelled the fears around home birth and the questions that everybody asks like, “What if things go wrong?” In those 45 minutes, I literally went from, I'm only having a hospital birth to I'm going to have a home birth. It spoke to my heart and I immediately was like, This is what I need to do. I felt really strongly. It was really bizarre. I've never had a full shift in what I was thinking before. I just felt very inspired that that was what I needed to do. I was a little worried about convincing my husband, Colin, but I showed him that podcast and he seemed immediately on board. He's a dairy farmer actually and listening to the podcast, there were a few things where he would pause it and say, “That's very interesting. I actually see this in cows.” I was like, “Great. I'm glad that you feel really connected to this.” Meagan: I love that. Emmy: Yeah. Julie: Okay, but seriously now, we have all these animals in the wild giving birth in these natural ways and nobody thinks to interfere but we humans need all of this help. It doesn't make any sense. Emmy: Yeah, like for example, Dr. Stu said a woman will be home laboring and the labor–what's the word I'm looking for? The contractions are coming regularly. Let's say it that way. The contractions are coming regularly and she comes into a hospital which is an unfamiliar environment with people she doesn't know who are touching her bits and stuff and it's really not common for your labor to slow down or completely stall. He's like, “We are mammals. If a mammal in the wild comes into an unfamiliar place or feels that there is a predator or feels nervous or anxious, the labor is going to stop until she feels safe again.” Colin was like, “I see that with cows. You see a cow in a pasture laboring great and the legs are poking out. We bring them and we bring them into the barn where we have fresh straw. She'll be by herself. In our heads, we think we are helping her but we have just done an intervention and her labor will stall. She'll sit there for hours without any progress. We see that with cows.” Meagan: You know what? We as doulas see that too. We are laboring at home. We are laboring at home. Things are going really well and then we transition to the hospital or a birthing center or that other location. Even just that move that makes you think you would be more comfortable and this is where I wanted to give birth, you still have to acclimate to that space. Like you said, it's an intervention. Emmy: Yeah, so he trusted my gut and I”m going to be forever grateful for that because he was very trusting so the prep really began once I got pregnant, it was like, Okay. We've got Julie and my number-one priority was building a strong team. I interviewed Julie in person and went out to lunch with Katie who became my doula and felt really connected to her right off the bat. Julie also gave me a list of home birth midwives in the area. I probably interviewed 5 or 6 midwives and for me, I wanted somebody who was really experienced, had a lot of years, had seen the good, the bad, the ugly, and had a good, calm energy because I have a lot of energy. I was like, I feel like in my birth, I just need calmness. So after interviewing them, I picked a midwife who I thought was the best for me and had the most experience. She truly was amazing in the birth and I think I made the right choice for sure. Midwife care is so different than OB/GYN care as well. You have a 5-minute appointment with an OB/GYN but you have an hour long appointment with a midwife where you do the same things but more. They sit and talk to you about any symptoms that you have. I really, really liked the midwife care. I was really impressed. I didn't know what I was stepping into but it is leaps and bounds better care than I had at an OB/GYN office. That was my first priority. I felt like I built a great team from the get-go then it was all about educating myself and preparing for postpartum. That was a big part. One thing I did was instead of having a baby shower, I did a mother's shower. I had all of these people come and we made freezer meals. It was really fun. I planned better postpartum care. Colin came for a week. My mom came after that for 10 days so I just did a lot better focusing on my postpartum care which has made a huge difference. Colin and I took a Bradley Method class which ws intense but I'm so grateful that we did because really, Colin was my doula for the next birth for the 23 of the 26 hours and he was doing hip squeezes, counterpressure, acupressure, talking me through each of the contractions, massage techniques– he was amazing and it really came down to us preparing really well. He was my little doula for 23 of those 26 hours and I will never forget that. It was very bonding for us and special. I guess for my second birth which was a much better experience, the contractions started at about 3:00 AM and they were about 10 minutes apart. My labor was 26 hours and interestingly enough, until I hit transition at 23 hours, my contractions did not get closer together than 10 minutes apart the whole time even though the intensity increased. I had a 60-second contraction 10 minutes apart the whole day. I texted Julie and Katie at 8:00 AM, “Contractions have started guys! I'll let you know.” 4 hours went past and I'd be like, “What's the update?” Julie: “Are you doing okay? How are things going?”Emmy: Then I'd be like, “Yeah, sorry nothing.” Then four hours later, they'd be like, “Are you good?” I'm like, “Yep. Still contracting 10 minutes apart, guys. Sorry.” So yeah. I contacted them. I had a chiropractor appointment already just by coincidence at 10:00 AM. I went to that. It didn't really seem to kickstart anything like I hoped but I just figured it couldn't hurt to get in. I think Meagan, didn't you go to the chiropractor? Meagan: I sure did. I actually did twice during labor. Emmy: Wow. Meagan: One in early, early labor and then one in that middle stage. Well, a little bit less. It was early, early and late early labor. I got adjusted and I swear to you that even though like you said that it didn't kickstart or dramatically change one contraction to another, I know that it changed the outcome for me. I fully believe that it helped change the outcome by helping me balance out my pelvis. Emmy: Okay, yeah. My doula, Katie, felt very strongly about it too that she felt like going to chiropractic in labor was very helpful for her too. She said that her contractions immediately changed afterward. Meagan: Yeah, and I have seen that happen. Emmy: I didn't feel like for me that was the case and I still didn't have her until 15 hours later, but still being aligned and having things be in the right place was probably still very helpful. It just wasn't immediate. So we labored and we had fun. We watched Survivor while he was helping me and I was laboring all around the house which I didn't think I would care that I was in my own house, but I actually in the end really loved being in my own shower and being in my own bed, being on my own toilet and laboring in my own environment actually ended up being really helpful for me and I enjoyed that. It wasn't until I did the Miles Circuit at 11:30 at night. I was like, I'm going to do the Miles Circuit. When I was doing lunges on our stairs, that's when my contractions were 10 minutes, 9 minutes, 8 minutes, 7 minutes– immediately they just started boom, boom, boom, boom getting closer together and I started to shake. I called my midwife, “Can you come check me? I think I'm getting closer now and it's really intense.” She showed up at about 12:30 AM and she checked me. She said, “Okay, you're dilated at about a 6 with a bulging bag and I think you're in transition right now. You're shaking.” So she stayed and then it was like the parade came in. Kate shows up. Julie shows up. Another midwife shows up and it was go time at that point. I really felt like they all came at the right time becuase I was really struggling through those last contractions for the last few hours. Between Katie doing hip squeezes and everyone, I remember laboring on the toilet because they say that's the labor station, right? What do they call that?Julie and Meagan: Dilation station. Julie: I got there when you were on the toilet and Katie says I got there right at the time when things were really picking up but I just remember because it was a 40-minute drive for me and when she said that you had a bulging bag and were 6 centimeters, every time I go to a birth, I have a heart attack that I'm going to miss it because 2 years ago, I missed three births in a row because things went so fast. Two of them were VBACs. I'm just like, Oh my gosh. I'm praying, like, Please, Jesus. Let me get there before this baby is born. This would not be fair if I miss it because I have had this relationship for 2 years. I'm begging. I think we got there right at the right time. Maybe a little sooner would have been better, but really, I think that I'm just so glad everyone arrived for you when they did. Emmy: Yeah. I thought they were like, “Why don't we try the toilet?” I honestly thought that was where I was going to die. I thought that was a cruel, cruel joke that you guys played on me. Those contractions were no joke on that toilet. So I was like, “Get me out of here.” That was the first time that I think I was like, “I can't do this.” You were like, “Yes, you can.” Just that resounding– all of the women in the room were like, “Yes, you can. You're doing it.” It was amazing. Julie: It's this weird diad between seeing a woman– I don't want to say in pain but I don't know what other word to use. But because all of us look at each other and smile whenever someone is like, “I feel like I'm going to throw up,” everyone in the room just looks at each other with this knowing look. We smile and we are like, “Yes! I'm so excited that you are going to throw up,” because it means that things are getting closer. We have seen this so many times. We know that it just means labor is progressing well and you are doing great even though that feels like the moment where you are really going to die. It's really good that you feel that way. Emmy: Yeah. Yeah, I was like, “I can't do this.” You were just like, “Yes, you can.” We labored on the bed a little bit after that and I started to have the urge to push. We moved to the tub which we had set up in the living room and Colin took his place in front of me holding my hands and then the doula and the midwife both did counterpressure on me and I started to push and that was intense. I think that was the only time. I didn't make a lot of noise besides breathing, but that was where I started to feel like the animal grunting. I also had this outside perspective in that moment of, I know this sounds weird probably to Colin in his face, but I was like, This is working. I was feeling pretty powerful at that time that I was going to be able to push this baby out. My water broke while I was pushing in the tub and I mean, it felt like a half an hour. I remember they told me afterward that it was an hour and a half of pushing. I think that was the most suprrising part of my birth was how long everything still took. It was 26 hours with an hour and a half of pushing. I was surprised at that but I also now look back and am like, Man, had I gone to the hospital, because I still felt like even with an epidural, without an epidural, going natural and pushing, I still felt like it took me a minute and took me a while to figure out the pushing and to feel like I was being fully effective. I was like, Man, if I was in the hospital with an epidural on my back, I bet the same thing would happen to me again. It still took me an hour and a half with no pain meidcation to figure out how to push and push this baby out. What would have happened on my back in the hospital? Quite possible, the same thing. They may have gotten to 2 hours and been like, “Do you want to keep pushing or do you want to call this?” It might have ended up in a C-section again. I'm really grateful that I feel like this is how it was meant to be because I pushed for an hour and a half which was really intense and hard. I was on all fours and then I ended up on more of a squatting pushing. It was just like, “Get her out!” Everyone was just encouraging me all the way around. Colin, once I was in the squatting position, was behind me and it was really special to me. When she was about to come out, Colin was like, “Colin, come switch me places.” He came up to my knees and he was able to be the one who pulled her out and hold her for the first time and bring her up to my chest. Well, bring her up to my chest, I was the first one to hold her, but he pulled her out and brought her up to my chest. We were just able to have that moment of holding this baby and I wasn't thinking in my head, I don't care. I was thinking that I had this beautiful little baby in my arms. It was what I had dreamed of. It was 3 years. It was exactly 3 years in the making of this very moment right now and this is what I knew it could be. Then we went to the bed and got to have that golden hour– not hour, golden hours– with her. It was perfect. It really was. I would do it again and I would do it the exact same way. I felt safe and I felt respected and I felt like there was never a moment in it that I was scared. I remember that there was one moment where I was like, Oh my gosh. I'm having a VBAC right now. Do I feel any scar pain right now? Nope, I feel great. Then I never thought about it again. It was wonderful. I am so grateful for this podcast and for the prep work that I did, the team that I built and to be able to have done that with Colin. It was very special and bonding for us. Julie: First of all, you are amazing. Second of all, are you going to do it again? Because sign me up for it.  I'm inviting myself. Third of all, yes. We need shirts this time. I can't believe we didn't order three amigo shirts. That was a missed opportunity. Emmy: We will not forget that this time. Julie: Fourth of all, I want everyone to know that this is probably the coolest trade for services I have ever done. I literally traded– I don't know how many pounds of natural, grass-fed, antibiotic-free beef. Half of my payment, I feel like I got a quarter of a cow or half of a cow maybe. It's cool. We are still eating it. It's the best beef ever. My husband, every time I make some of it for dinner or we go to a restaurant– we were at Zion National Park for spring break and he had a steak or something for dinner and he was like, “This steak is awful compared to the stuff we cook ourselves.” Meagan: Amazing. Emmy: That's right. Julie: If you want, next time, you obviously should have whoever you want, but I am fully open to trade for more cow. It was seriously the coolest trade ever and the fourth thing is that first of all, I can't believe it's been 4 weeks. I feel like so much h as happened since then that it also feels like last week for real. I have been sitting here just polling through your photos as you are telling your story and reliving all of these moments as you are telling them and I am just so inspired by you first of all hearing your story and second of all, just being able to look through these. I will have your gallery to you by this weekend for sure. I like to say 3-4 weeks turnaround and I've been just a titch behind in the last few galleries. I'm off my groove or something. I cannot wait for you to see them. I remember after I sent– I don't know. I was talking to Katie about this the other night at the positive birth group. Sorry, I'm not trying to center this around me. I promise. It might seem like it's going a little bit that way. Anyway, Katie hosts a positive birth circle for expecting parents and things like that because I love hanging around pregnant people. We were talking at the end and I was like, “I sent Emmy her gallery,” and her first words were, “Those are some real rough photos of me.” I was like, “I hope she liked them,” and Katie was like, “Actually, I talked to her about that at her first postpartum visit,” and the thing is that me and Katie go through all of these pictures and I love seeing that rawness and that vulnerability and your power and your strength and those are the ones I am naturally drawn to. I see all of that and yes, I guess even the one on the toilet which I think is so cool. It's super cool. There is so much power and strength, and the one of your husband catching the baby as he is coming out in this beautiful white birth pool in your beautiful white house. Those power ones are the ones I am super attracted to and Katie was like, “I think she maybe would have liked just a couple of just her and the baby holding the baby softly after the birth.” I was like, “Oh. Oh. Okay, yes. I've got to be more mindful of that when I send these sneak peeks to people sometimes.” Because it's true. I feel like as birth workers, we are drawn to that rawness and that vulnerability and that space. It is super cool. Especially you not quite being super 100% on board with birth photography ahead of time, I feel like yeah. Maybe I should have thought about that. I'm sorry. I've edited a few more that you can use. I sent them to you. Emmy: They were wonderful. Julie: There are plenty of those. It's interesting the relationship of your birth photos and how it evolves over time when you first get them, you will feel completely different about them in a year or in 2 years or in 5 years. My kids are 6, 7, 9, and 11 now. We go through all of their birth photos and their videos from their birth every year and it's so exciting and the emotions are just so different as we look at them over time. I feel like they get more valuable the farther away I get. I'm super excited for you to see those. I also recorded a full video for you so if you ever want a video, let me know because I have all of it. I record video at every birth. Meagan: And you can share it with this community. Julie: I have specific instructions for what I'm allowed to share or not and we are going to go over all of the ones I want to share after I deliver her gallery, but yes. I just think it is so cool because when I tell people I am a birth photographer– see, now I am centering this around me. I'm sorry. When I tell people I'm a birth photographer, I get one of three reactions. People are like, “Ew, why would you want photos of that?” Or people are like, “What's that like?” Or people will be like, “Oh my gosh. That is so exciting. I had a birth photographer. I love looking at birth photos.” I think that people who have that disconnected reactions are the people who really don't know the true power that the imagery holds especially for the birther so I think it's really cool to just listen to your transition or your transformation around that and have it evolve. I seriously am going through all of these. You are going to have 400 pictures I think. Okay, so my camera was in lower light. Sometimes it struggles to focus so I shot a little bit more than I usually would because I was scared of missing focus and normally I shoot about 600-800 photos at a birth and go through them and narrow them to about 150 roughly in that range. At your birth, I shot 1276. Emmy: Oh my gosh. Julie: I'm going through and– Emmy: Not a moment missed. Julie: No. Not a moment missed. I'm super excited. You'll probably get between 150-200 final photos but seriously, I'm like, “Yes. That hands picture and that hands picture. Oh yes. I see everybody squeezing her hips right now. That's super awesome. Colin is right in front of you squeezing your hands.” I don't know. I think it's just priceless to be able to relive these moments through the imagery. I think it's so cool and so powerful to see how awesome you are if you didn't know. I have photo and video evidence. Meagan: You are awesome. I love your journey. I love your journey from– I don't love that someone has a bad experience, but I love that someone can grow from a bad experience and truly, hearing you transform into the person you are now, I mean, I feel like for me, I changed as an individual after my birth. We talked about that earlier with the passion and stuff, but it's more than the passion. There was something inside of me that changed. It's amazing to hear when we have these stories. You can hear the shift. If you are listening, Women of Strength, keep going through these episodes and you can hear this shift. It is just so cool. It's so cool. It's actually one of my favorite things about being a doula. There's a CDC National Vital Statistics report that was sent out in 2022 and it shows that the percentage of U.S. home births rose from 1.26 in 2020 to 1.41 in 2021 which is a 12% increase since around the 1990s. It's kind of an interesting thing and there is so much more about home birth. That's just a really quick CDC stat, but it's really cool to see that people can feel comfortable at home. Like you said, in your own bed, on your own toilet, in your own shower, in your own kitchen, kneeling on your own floor. I just think there is something cool about that and home birth. So if you are exploring home birth listening to this, definitely go listen to all of our other HBAC stories and go listen to Down to Birth– what did you say it was? Emmy: Oh, 111. Meagan: 111 with Dr. Stu. Go check out our episodes with Dr. Stu or just go even listen to him and Blyss talk about home birth on their own podcast because home birth can be a safe, reasonable, and amazing experience and something that, like Emmy said, shocked her too. It shocked her as well. I think that you never know until you explore the option and get the facts. We also have a home birth blog and all of those things. We are going to have all of those links in the show notes. I'm going to find the Down to Birth podcast and link it in the show notes so it is easy to find. Thank you so much, Emmy. Your energy is just so fun. I am so happy for you and I hope that I get to see some more of these photos and if you decide to share a video, I love videos and it was honestly one of my biggest regrets. I was so focused on my VBAC that I forgot about the photography aspect. I'm so glad that you got looped into that because Julie became just a photographer because still to this day, like Julie said, my son actually just turned 8 this month so I tend to look at those images at those year marks and I really still to this day cherish it and look at it differently every time. I'm so glad that you have them and obviously for anyone listening, if you want a birth photographer, check it out. It is worth it. Emmy: It is. It is worth it. Julie: I think we should put a plug-in. To find a great doula, build the right birth team obviously. You can find a list of supportive VBAC providers on the community on Facebook in the documents and you can a VBAC doula at thevbaclink.com/findadoula and if you are looking for a birth photographer which I obviously think you should, there's a really good group called Birth Becomes You. It's kind of like The VBAC Link but for birth photography. You can follow them on Instagram. You can follow them on Facebook, but they have a database just like we do for VBAC doulas for birth photographers all over the world. You can find their search database at birthbecomesyou.com/find-a-photographer. That will be linked in the show notes too. I'm putting Paige to work here. Obviously, if you want to reach out to anyone of us, me or Meagan, to support you in your birth, we are happy to do that as well. If you need to find out information about Katie, she is in The VBAC Link Doula Directory as well. I am super excited that there are so many resources available. I feel like it's even way better than when I was having babies. There is just so much more information available and it wasn't even that long ago. It's just so cool that there are all of these resources that we have to help parents find the right support team for them no matter what that looks like. I don't know. I think it's really amazing. Meagan: Absolutely. Okay, well thank you again so much, Emmy, and have a wonderful day. Emmy: You too. Thank you so much for having me on. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What did you think?In this month's midwife story, chat with Beth. Beth shares her story spanning over 20 years now, including her first experience attending a homebirth and then her work as a midwife and eventual transition into private midwifery attending home births. We also chat about  girls and women's rites of passage and her amazing walking emerging wwoman workshops. I first met Beth almost 10 years ago now when studying midwifery so it was beautiful to catch up and learn more about her story all these years later!Please share this story, especially with student midwives who may be interested in homebirth midwifery! Resources: Beth @womanwithchild.beth + find out about her Walking the Emerging Woman Workshops here tooJenny Blyth https://birthwork.com/about-us/Impact of 'light' in labour https://www.melaniethemidwife.com/podcasts/the-great-birth-rebellion/episodes/2148625925Core of Life https://coreoflife.org.au/Jane Hardwicke Collins https://janehardwickecollings.com/Dr Rachel Reed https://www.rachelreed.website/Support the Show.

Welcome back to another episode of The Mama Village Podcast. Joining us today is Alison, a first-time mum who will be sharing her incredible journey through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Alison chose to have a home water birth, supported by a private midwife and a doula, and her story is a testament to trusting one's instincts and the profound power of feeling at home in your own birthing experience. Throughout her pregnancy, Alison faced the challenge of carpal tunnel syndrome, adding an extra layer of complexity to her journey. Despite this, she made the empowering decision to birth at home, simply because, in her words, she felt more at home at home. In this episode, we'll explore Alison's experiences, from her decision-making process to the intimate details of her home water birth, and how she navigated the early days of motherhood with the support of her midwife and doula. Alison's story is sure to inspire and resonate with many of you, highlighting the importance of trusting your instincts and creating a birthing environment where you feel most comfortable and supported. Don't forget that if you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review on your podcast platform. If you would like to share your positive pregnancy, birth, postpartum and motherhood story, or if you have education in the space to share, please send me a direct message on Instagram or email the.mamavillage@outlook.com   For Music: https://soundcloud.com/emotionetoile/kevin-macleod-easy-day-no-copyright-music-103 Resources mentioned in the podcast:            Hypnobirthing The Down to Earth Birth Book by Jenny Blythe Birth with Confidence by Rhea Dempsey Active Birth by Janet Balaskas Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage by Rachel Reed              The First Forty Days by Amerly Greevan, Heng Ou and Marisa Belger The Conscious Birth Movement Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and this is not medical advice. Any information discussed in this podcast should not replace the advice of your professional healthcare provider. This podcast is designed for general information only and is not specific to individual needs. Please seek advice from your professional health care provider if you have any concerns regarding your pregnancy, birth or postpartum.

Welcome back to another episode of The Mama Village podcast! I'm your host, Ellen and today we have an inspiring story that challenges conventional norms and highlights the power of trust, intuition, and transformation. Our guest today is Kelsey, a first-time mom who brought her baby into the world in the comfort of her own home. What makes Kelsey's story truly remarkable is the serendipitous encounter with a doula that completely changed her planned birth location, leading her to discover just how strong and capable both she and her baby are. But this journey wasn't just transformative for Kelsey. Her partner, who had experienced two C-sections with his other children, also embarked on a new path, reshaping his understanding of childbirth and partnership. Throughout her pregnancy, Kelsey faced unique challenges, including a diagnosis of gestational diabetes and concerns about her high BMI. Yet, she navigated these hurdles with grace and determination, proving that birth is a deeply personal and powerful experience. Stay tuned as we explore Kelsey's journey, the decisions that led to her home birth, and the incredible support system that guided her along the way. From the surprise meeting with a doula to the triumphant moment of welcoming her baby at home, Kelsey's story is one of resilience, empowerment, and love. Don't forget that if you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review on your podcast platform. Thank you all for your continuing support!   Resources mentioned in the podcast: The Great Birth Rebellion podcast The Midwives Cauldron podcast Books by Ina May Gaskin, Dr Rachel Reed, Dr Sara Wickham Hypnobirthing For Music: https://soundcloud.com/emotionetoile/kevin-macleod-easy-day-no-copyright-music-103 Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and this is not medical advice. Any information discussed in this podcast should not replace the advice of your professional healthcare provider. This podcast is designed for general information only and is not specific to individual needs. Please seek advice from your professional health care provider if you have any concerns regarding your pregnancy, birth or postpartum.

In this episode, I talked about early pushing. It's a topic I've been eager to discuss for a while because it ties into the broader subject of posterior births.  Posterior births are often surrounded by unnecessary fear and misconceptions, and I want to shed some light on this natural variation of childbirth. Early pushing usually occurs in posterior births, a normal variation according to birth educators and experts like Rachel Reed. However, there's a lot of undue concern about posterior births needing to be "fixed". Many birth courses and practices focus on ensuring optimal baby positioning, but this can create unnecessary fear and self-doubt in women. Enjoy this podcast episode, Ashley x More from Ashley: ⁠⁠⁠The VBAC Village⁠⁠⁠ Insta: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@ashleylwinning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.ashleywinning.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join our VBAC Homebirth Support ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Group here ⁠⁠⁠

Katie joins us today to tell us about her two birth experiences in Germany. Although she strongly advocated for herself during her first birth, Katie was extremely mistreated. Her labor and horrible C-section experience left her with intense PTSD straining her relationship with both her baby and her husband. Katie knew that if she wanted to have another baby, she had to plan for an out-of-hospital birth. She continued to advocate for herself by not only learning the evidence but by showing it to providers and defending it. Though she wasn't able to find a supportive backup hospital, Katie labored beautifully at home with her husband, doula, and midwife until she knew it was time to transfer. When she transferred, Katie was able to go to the hospital she wanted to go to and was finally treated with respect. Her wishes were honored and she felt heard. Though this labor was also over 40 hours and had its own unexpected twists, Katie experienced so much healing from her VBAC. She was able to achieve the glorious feeling she hoped she would have from a home birth even in the hospital.  TOLAC in Germany ArticleEvidence-Based Birth Blog: Friedman CurveInformed Pregnancy - code: vbaclink424Needed WebsiteHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details 04:41 Review of the Week07:27 Katie's stories11:14 Start of labor16:55 Going to the hospital20:22 Interventions29:44 Katie's C-section32:06 Preparing for VBAC34:34 Second pregnancy42:01 Labor begins47:11 Getting support from her birth team50:12 Transferring to the hospital53:32 Feeling intense scar pain56:23 Asking for the vacuum58:42 Katie's advice for listeners1:01:47 The Friedman Curve1:06:16 Trusting your intuition1:08:56 Doula supportMeagan: Hello, Women of Strength! We have a story for you today where a mama gave birth in Germany. So I love, love, love when we have out-of-the-country birth stories because we often get messages from people outside of the country wondering if VBAC is still possible and the answer is YES. 100% it is possible and we have our friend Katie today. Hello, Katie!Katie: Hi.Meagan: She is going to just be sharing her story showing that it is possible to VBAC. Now, one of the things that I actually really love about Katie's story is that it shows that things can change, and even when things change it doesn't have to be bad. I sit in that because I personally wanted to birth out of the hospital and when I was in labor, in my mind, if I had to transfer, I was for a little while telling myself that that was a bad thing. And that it wouldn't happen, or people would be looking down, or whatever. I was spiraling. I was just going through a moment in labor. But something that stood out to me with Katie's, is she talks about how after a really long labor at home, planned home birth, her intuition, which we talk about a lot, knew that she needed to make another choice in her labor and that was to go to the hospital. Right, Katie?Katie: Exactly. Yep.Meagan: And so I love that we can talk about how plans can change and that doesn't mean it has to be the be-all end-all. Is that how you say it?Katie: Yeah.Meagan: It doesn't mean it has to be over or it doesn't mean your chances of VBAC are done. If you are planning a home birth and you make the choice, or even if it was medically necessary, like sometimes it is, right? That doesn't mean that it has to be bad. And so I love that part about her story and that she listened to her intuition. And then also another highlight, is that intervention happened, right? And that sometimes in this community we fear the intervention. I understand why we don't all usually want the intervention, we just want it to be left alone. But sometimes intervention comes into play and sometimes those interventions help us get the birth that we wanted. And so I'm just going to end there because I want Katie to be able to share her story but those were a couple of things that, for me, as I was reading her submission, stood out to me and I thought were really important topics to touch on because plans can change and even when plans change, it's okay. 04:41 Review of the WeekMeagan: But I do have a Review of the Week so I want to review that and then I'll turn the time over to you Katie. Okay, so this is from our Google reviews, which we absolutely love. Even our Google reviews help people find the podcast, our blogs, our course, our resources, all the things. If you wouldn't mind heading over to Google. Google “The VBAC Link,” and leave us a review, we would absolutely love that. So this is from, I think it's Eimear. Sorry if I am butchering this name. They gave a 5-star review, so thank you so much. But it says that, “This podcast was my constant source of reassurance and inspiring stories throughout my last two pregnancies. I achieved my VBAC in 2021 and was empowered with so much knowledge and mental strength going into this birth because of The VBAC Link. I had my second C-section in 2002 which was not what I wished for but I do plan on having more children and know that VBA2C (vaginal birth after two C-sections) is a possibility for me because of this podcast. I continue to listen to your inspiring stories each time I hop in the car and I'm so grateful for all that you share. I hope to share my own redeeming story with you in time, too.”Thank you so much for that review. I love that you said that VBAC after 2 C-sections is possible. We see that a lot in our Q and A's. “If I've had 2 C-sections is it possible?” The answer is yes, absolutely, 100 percent. So if you want to learn more check out the podcast or head on over to thevbaclink.com and search VBA2C and you'll get to find more about that. 07:27 Katie's storiesMeagan: Okay, Katie! Welcome again. Thank you for being here. Katie: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to share my story.Meagan: Oh my gosh, me too.  And I know you've got your little one by you. So how old is your little baby?Katie: My daughter, Scarlett, is just shy of 5 months.Meagan: 5 months. Okay, so you're still pretty in the thick of it. Katie: Yes, still sleepless nights.Meagan: Yes, and you're coming from Germany. I don't even know what the time zone is there, but hopefully, you're not up way too early or way too late.Katie: It's like just late afternoon here.Meagan: Okay good, I'm so glad. Well I would love to turn the time over to you to share your stories.Katie: Okay, great. Well, I'll just get started with my C-section story. My son, Charlie, is 2. He was born in 2021. I'm originally from the U.S. but as you mentioned, I live in Germany and I had been in Germany for about 5 years when I had him. And then as just some background, I'm actually an intensive care nurse and I worked in the United States as an intensive care nurse and then for a bit here and have since transitioned into the corporate world. I'm not like a labor and delivery nurse, but I have a lot of knowledge about birth from nursing school. I think there is a little bit of a misconception in the U.S. that everything is better in Europe, that they're more natural or that the healthcare is better, blah blah blah. I just want to say that has not necessarily been my experience especially working as a nurse. I can really see that the shortage of trained healthcare workers is significantly worse here. And there's kind of like, we have our issues in the U.S. too about making sure we're providing evidenced-based care. We try but it's hard to keep up and stuff. I would say it's even harder here and then doctors here are super paternalistic. So when I was pregnant with my son, I had that impression as I was going into it. And also, the way it works here is, you just go to a gynecologist for your pregnancy care and then you just go to the hospital to have your baby. You don't get to pick your doctor. There's just staff, so you just get who you get. I didn't really like that when I was planning my birth for my first pregnancy, but I was kind of like, well what else am I gonna do? That's the way it is. But I felt at the time really confident about my knowledge and that I'm pretty tough and well-informed, and I'll manage to get through it. This is just like the way it's going to be. Didn't have any thoughts about trying to do a home birth or another out-of-hospital environment, it was just like you go to the hospital and baby and go home. So my pregnancy was pretty good. I had the normal kind of aches and pains. There was some concern with my son's placenta. It wasn't functioning great but we didn't have issues from it, just extra growth scans and there were really no problems. He was due December 27th, so around Christmastime. I think if I had known I would have never gotten pregnant to have a baby around Christmastime because my impression was with the hospital, that they were really short-staffed when I ended up having him. 11:14 Start of laborKatie: So I ended up going into labor– he was born on the 22nd, so I went into labor on the 20th of December. I woke up around midnight with really bad back pain and I felt like I was going to have diarrhea. That's probably TMI.Meagan: I totally get that. Katie: Yeah I kept going to the toilet thinking I had food poisoning, and nothing would happen. I would go and sit down, and as soon as I would sit down I'd feel like I'd have to go to the toilet again and I would run back there. This kept going on and then eventually after a little while I had some bloody show and my mucus plug came out. And I was like, “Oh! This was the contractions.” I was not expecting it at all. It was just this stabbing pain in my back and I didn't feel like my uterus was really doing anything so I was kind of surprised. I was like, “I guess I'm in labor,” and it hurt so bad. People always talk about how it starts out kind of light and builds up, and it was really full force. Like I said, I kept going to the couch and trying to sit down and trying to get comfortable and I'd have to keep running to the bathroom. It just kept coming. I was like, “Oh my gosh, is this baby going to be born really fast? This seems pretty intense.” I was like, “No, no I probably have a long time to go so calm down.” I took a shower and got my birth ball out and started trying to work through it. At some point, my husband woke up and I was like, “I think I'm in labor. Go back to bed and I'll get you if I need you.” I labored throughout the night. But around 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning, I started noticing contractions. They weren't quite as painful and it was spacing out a little bit and I was like, “Oh, maybe I should try to sleep.” So I laid down on the couch and I was able to kind of sleep in between these contractions. My husband woke me up a few hours later because I had my 39-week doctor's appointment. And I was like oh well we can just go to the doctor and have them check me there and just see how we're going. We walked to the doctor because I was afraid my water would break in the subway so we just decided to walk. But that didn't happen and by the time we got to the doctor, they had spread pretty far apart. I had waited in the waiting room for a while and I only had a couple while I was waiting.My doctor checked me and she said I wasn't dilated and then they did put me on the CTG there for just a little bit to just see what was happening and I didn't have a single contraction while I was hooked up on the CTG. But the second they took it off and I stood up again, it started again. But it was more how people describe early labor. It came every few minutes. It was totally manageable. I just had to take a few deep breaths. We ended up walking home and the rest of the day, that went on. I labored in the afternoon and I thought at some point I should try to take a nap, but every time I tried to lay down it would be really uncomfortable so I got up. Then my husband and I decided, “Well, this baby is probably coming. Let's go do some grocery shopping, get some snacks, and be prepared.” Katie: So we went grocery shopping and my parents were visiting. They were staying in a hotel, but they came over. We all had dinner together. I was convinced that it wasn't labor, and I was like, “This is probably just fake labor,” so I didn't want to tell them. My mom later told me, “We totally knew you were in labor. You did not fool us for a minute.” We made dinner, we all ate, and they left.It was only 7:00 or 8:00 PM and I was like, “Let's sit down and watch some TV and try to relax.” As soon as I sat down, the intensity really picked up and the frequency. I wasn't timing them, but I really saw that they were coming quite often and it wasn't comfortable to sit down anymore. I thought, “I've been doing this all day, almost 24 hours now. I think I deserve to use some of my coping mechanisms that I'd planned for.” So I had planned to listen to these hypnobirthing tracks and had bought a ton of really nice bath supplies to make nice hot baths. So I got in the bath and was just using this app to do the HypnoBirthing tracks and I found it really helped me and I was doing really well. And then after a while, my husband came in. I think he felt like he should be doing something too. I was like, “You can press start and stop on this app because it's really annoying to dry my hands off,” so he was like, “Okay.” He was there for 10  minutes and something popped up on the app that was like, “You should go to the hospital now,” and he started panicking. I was like, “I'm fine.” In my mind, compared to the contractions I had the first part of the previous night, my contractions were going to have to be at least like that or worse because I hadn't dialed at all, so I was like really mentally prepared this is going to be so bad. Right now I still feel fine. They were just coming close together, but I had no feeling the baby was coming. I felt fine.But he was just like, “Oh my gosh, this app is telling us we should go to the hospital,” and ugh. After a while of him freaking out, I thought, “Okay, let's just go to the hospital and do a check. They'll reassure him that I'm tops 2 centimeters dilated and he can relax and I can continue to labor in peace at home.” 16:55 Going to the hospitalSo we get packed up and drive to the hospital. They put me on the CTG and checked me. I'm 2 centimeters. Then after half an hour, they come in and say, “Well, we don't have any beds so we're going to have to send you to a different hospital.” I said, “Whoa, hold the phone.” In my mind, I'm thinking that I have at least 12 more hours of labor to go. I'm a first-time mom. And I was like, “I want to go home and labor. I don't want to labor in the hospital. I want to go home. Can't I come back at like 6:00 AM and check me again?” It was about midnight at this time. And they were like, “Oh no, you're not going to make it to 6:00 AM. Your baby is coming and will be here by morning.” And I was like, “Seriously?”Meagan: “It's midnight, I've got some time.”Katie: And I was like, “I really don't believe that.” But they were so insistent that I had to go to the hospital and they were even like, “We called an ambulance to take you to the other hospital.” Meagan: Oh my gosh.Katie: I was like, “I don't need an ambulance. I'm not dying, I'm just having some contractions. This is crazy, guys.” They were like, “Are you sure?” I was like, “No, I don't want to be separated from my husband and go in an ambulance. Absolutely not.” They were like, “Well, we're going to send you to this other hospital.” I said, “No. This particular hospital has a really bad reputation.” I said, “No, I don't want to go there. I want to go to–” my second choice was blah, blah, blah. They were like, “Oh, they're full.” I was like, “Okay well, my third choice is blah, blah, blah.” “Oh well, they're full too.” And basically, every other hospital in our city was full. I was just like, “Okay, great.” My husband's freaking out. I really don't want to go to this hospital but they're telling him I need to stay. I was like, “Okay, we'll go over there and I'll just get registered and I'll tell them that I want to go home and labor.” So we drive over and the whole time I'm like, “I don't really want to go to this hospital, but okay.” And then I told my husband that I had no idea where the labor and delivery ward was at this hospital. I had never been there. So I said, “Okay, let's park at the emergency room because usually this late at night, hospitals' other entrances aren't open.” We parked in the emergency room and nobody at the emergency room could tell us where labor and delivery was. And I was like, “What the heck?” I was the one looking at the map on the wall figuring out where it was, having these contractions. We walked there and we finally arrived. I had such a bad feeling there. It was kind of icky and old and gross, this hospital. They also hooked me up to a CTG and checked me. They told me that my cervix was completely closed and so I said, “Okay, great! I'm going to go home.” They started trying to put an IV in. And I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why do I need an IV? I want to go home.” They also said, “No, your baby is coming imminently.” I was like, “That doesn't really make any sense.” In that kind of labor land you're so easily kind of–Meagan: Persuaded and convinced.Katie: Persuaded. And I also observed that I didn't have the support of my husband anymore. He was losing it basically. I thought, “Okay, I guess.” They had a bathtub and I thought, “Well, maybe I can take a bath here for a couple of hours and go home after that.” So we got in the bathtub and I really didn't like it. I'm not really a big water person so it really wasn't for me. So after awhile I got out. 20:22 InterventionsKatie: And oh, I forgot to mention. Before that happened, before they brought my husband back, the midwife was like, “Your cervix is like steel and we want you to take some medication to soften it.” She was like, “Don't worry. It's homeopathic.” I was like, “I don't want to take anything homeopathic. That's fake medicine. I don't want to take that.” She was super insistent. I was like, “Okay, let me see what this is. I'll look it up online and tell you if I want to take it or not.” She handed the pill to me and it was Tylenol with codeine. Meagan: What?Katie: And I was like, “Excuse me?” I was like, “This is not homeopathic medication. This is a narcotic.” She was like, “No, no. This is homeopathic.” I said, “No no. This is a narcotic.”Meagan: Like, “I'm not dumb.”Katie: That really shut me down. Also with this labor land, I was like, “Maybe codeine means something else in German?” I got super confused, do you know what I mean? In hindsight, I've given patients Tylenol with codeine hundreds of times. I know what Tylenol with codeine is. But in that moment, I got confused about it. I was in this labor land kind of thing. Meagan: Yeah. Katie: But it totally set off my fight-or-flight reflex because it freaked me out. “Is she lying to me? Or does she just not know? I don't get this.” I really told my husband that I wanted to leave and he was like, “Where are we going to go? Everywhere else is full.” And I was like, “Well, I'll just stay in the bath. I don't know.”At some point, I got out of the bath and I had been up basically the entire night before, just trying sleeping in between contractions. I wanted to lay down and rest. She came in and was like, “Oh no, you need to get up and move around.” She made us go for a walk around the hospital. This was probably 4:00 or 5:00 AM. I just felt so uncomfortable, I didn't want to be walking around the hospital. I wanted to be in my own little cave. So we went back and then she told me, “Well, you haven't had your baby yet so we're going to have to discharge you to the antenatal ward.” I was like, “Okay, at midnight when I got here, you said my baby was coming imminently and I had to stay and now you want to discharge me. If you're going to discharge me, I'm going to go home. I'm not going to go labor on an antenatal ward.” She was like, “Oh, let me talk about it with my staff at our staffing meeting,” blah blah blah. I don't know whatever came of that but I was so weirded out by it. Meagan: Yeah.Katie: And then like at 6:00 or so in the morning, she came in and they were again like, “Your cervix is as hard as steel. You need something to relax it.” Again she said, “I have something homeopathic for you.” It was Demerol.I again was like, “This is not homeopathy. These are narcotics.” I got really mad and I even said to her face. I looked her in the eye and I said, “It's appropriate to give patients narcotics or birthing women narcotics if they want them but you can't lie about it.” That's so unethical. That's not okay. I was so shocked by it. I had thought about it and I didn't really want to take narcotics. I'm intolerant of them. I've had some dental procedures and they make me really confused and I didn't want them during labor. But I thought at this point, it had been like 30 hours, and I thought, “Well, maybe it's time to try something.”My mom had always said when she had us that she would get a shot of Demerol and dilate to 10 centimeters in an hour from that. “Well, maybe I need that too. Maybe I'm like my mom.” I did consent to it but I felt like pushed into it. I kind of more consented to it because I wanted them to leave me alone. I told her again, “I'm really sensitive to narcotics. They make me confused. Please give me like the lowest dose.” I got my records later and I know now that it was the max dose and she had mixed other things into it so I totally became delirious. I could not cope with the contraction pain anymore because I didn't have this ability to be like, “Oh, I'm a flower, my cervix. Every contraction brings me one step–.” Being able to work my way through it was gone and it was sheer pain. They don't help me. It was just downhill from there. I didn't have the strength anymore to leave. At some point, they tried to make me take another walk. I was so dizzy that I kept falling over. Oh my gosh, if my patient was this dizzy, I wouldn't let them get out of bed but they were forcing me to go for a walk. They told us to leave the hospital and walk around outside. I remember standing at a red light and totally swaying back and forth clutching onto my husband so I wouldn't pass out. I was like, “I should not be outside. This is ridiculous.”So we went back and I'm not exactly sure what happened all afternoon. I forgot to mention we had a new midwife now. At some point in the afternoon they come in and say, “Well, you haven't had your baby yet. You're only a couple of centimeters dilated. We're going to start you on Pitocin.”Katie: And I said, “No, no. I don't want Pitocin.” They said, “Too bad. We're giving it to you anyway.” And I again was not in any kind of state to fight or protect myself. They started it and I didn't have any pain management at all. This was like 4:00 or 5:00 in the afternoon so it had been like 10 hours since I had that Demerol. My contractions were always that really bad back pain. It was so bad with the Pitocin. I ended up getting an epidural which was such a bad moment for me because I actually had more anxiety about getting an epidural. I have a fear of being paralyzed and I thought, “I absolutely don't want an epidural.” I ended up getting one and it didn't really work. They just kept turning the Pitocin up. And I kept telling them, “This isn't working. Can you get anesthesia here? There are things you can do to fix it.” They wouldn't do anything.They kept telling me, “If it doesn't work, it just doesn't work.” I was like, “That's not true. I know a lot about epidurals and there are a lot of things you can do.”At some point, I had realized that I hadn't peed in 12 hours and tried to go to the bathroom and nothing came out. I asked them in they could put a catheter in so I could pee. This midwife just kept ignoring me. I was like, “I really need a catheter.” I had felt really hot. I was like, “Can you take my temperature? I'm worried I have a fever.”Meagan: Oh my gosh. Katie: I also kept asking her if she would help me because I was laying in the bed, halfway falling out of it and I needed some help to reposition myself. I kept pushing the call light and she would come in and yell at me for pressing the call light. And after a few hours of this I finally had a little bit of fight back in me. I remember screaming at my husband, “You need to get me another midwife right now!”They must have heard us fighting outside because somebody else came in. I was like, “I need a catheter. I need someone to take my temperature and I need some help moving around.” So she catheterized me and there was like 500 milileters of urine in my bladder. She took my temperature and luckily that was normal. She helped me get up out of bed so I was sitting on a ball. At that point, I realized that the pump for the epidural was sitting right there. I remember turning to look at it and the pump wasn't even on. I was like, “I've been complaining. I have no idea what happened if it had been off the whole time or something, but it was supposed to be a patient-controlled epidural and it wasn't even on. I was like, “What is this?”At this point, it was midnight. I had been going on 48 hours now and only at like 4 centimeters dilated. They just kept telling me, The only way you're ever going to have this baby is if we keep turning the Pitocin up.” I kept asking them, “Are there positions we can do?”I also forgot to mention in the beginning that the people in Germany told me, “You don't need a doula in Germany because the midwives do all of that kind of stuff.” I never got a single suggestion on how to maybe reposition the baby or if there was anything. I kept asking, “Is he posterior? Is something weird going on?” “No, no. Everything's fine.” With these Pitocin contractions, I felt this pull in my pelvic floor. It felt like my body was fighting against it. I can't believe this is working. I can feel my muscle close with that. 29:44 Katie's C-section Katie: They told me that wasn't a thing, blah blah blah. My cervix had started swelling. And they were kind of like, “The only way you're going to have this baby is having a C-section,” and you know, that's just what happened. I ended up consenting to it because I was so afraid that they were going to do something to harm me. There had been like so much–Meagan: Weirdness.Katie: Weird stuff. I'm not going to die because childbirth is dangerous but because these people don't know what they're doing and they're somehow going to hurt us. And the C-section was just awful. I could remember on the way down, they knocked a bunch of the equipment over that was attached to me. When they started operating, I had a strip on my right side where I could feel everything. I was like, “I can feel what you're doing there. I was screaming.” The birth of my baby was the worst moment that I could imagine. It not joyful or happy at all. What has happened? What has happened to me? How did this happen to me? I just like couldn't believe it. Meagan: Yeah.Katie: What else could I have done differently? I don't know. How did everything get out of control? It was just crazy. I ended up having really bad PTSD afterward that I would have nightmares about the surgery. Postpartum was so rough because I had no connection to my baby and I honestly resented him almost in some ways where it was like, “If I hadn't had you, I wouldn't have gone through this.” It was just really hard to work through.I was also so mad at my husband. I really thought, “How could you? Where were you? You were supposed to be my support. You were supposed to help me.” I don't think he really got it. I kept telling him how much he was going to have to help me. “I really needed you to be strong in that moment and you just weren't.” It was a really low point in our relationship, too. 32:06 Preparing for VBACKatie: But he promised me that if we ever had any other kids, he would try to make it up to me. “Let's try to work through this.” And I got some treatment for my PTSD and I ended up taking Zoloft. I obviously listened to the stories on VBAC Link and other podcasts and I realized this is not unique. This is happening to a lot of people. I really knew that I wanted to have a VBAC. I never really thought there was something wrong with me. I thought it was the way I had been mishandled and that they didn't follow guidelines and that it was really inappropriate care I received. If it had been better, maybe I would have been able to do it. Anyway, I had a lot of anxiety about doctors and I didn't think, “If I have another baby, I want to go to the hospital. What am I gonna do? If I ever have another baby, should I go back to the United States to do it? Can I review clinical literature from my job?” And just from listening to podcasts and your story, Meagan, and the others, I realized an out-of-hospital birth is probably the best option for me if I ever have another baby to have a VBAC. I found a paper from 2019 about birth in Germany, about VBACs in Germany. And the success rate was like 40% in the hospitals to 60% in the birth center and 80% if you planned a home birth. They said that the outcomes for mom and baby were similar. So I said, “That's it. We have real literature that we're going to have a home birth if I ever have another kid.” Before I even got pregnant, I researched home-birth midwives in the city. I started speaking to a doula before I even got pregnant. And I had signed with her and she said that even if she wasn't available when I got pregnant again, she would help me find someone who was. I actually ended up getting pregnant really fast. We got pregnant on the first try and that was about– my son was 14 months when we got pregnant again. They're 22 months apart. 34:34 Second pregnancyKatie: I was like, “I'm going to do this. This is super important to me. I really need to do this.” I listened to VBAC Link stories and other VBAC stories every day. There's some other podcasts that I listened to. I read all the books like Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Childbirth as a Rite of Passenger by Rachel Reed and I was just only thinking and talking about birth. That was the only thing I paid attention to in that time.I read all the guidelines from every major organization and I read a lot of the literature that they used to come up with the recommendations. I had pretty strong opinions then that I would be okay with. But mostly I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't want any interventions because in my mind, with my sons birth, the intervention is what had ruined it. Katie: I worked out a lot with my first pregnancy, too. But with my VBAC baby, I did the Mamastefit fitness program.Meagan: Love Gina.Katie: And at the end, there's a lot of focus on relaxing your pelvic floor. I started seeing an osteopath. We really worked on trying to relax my pelvic floor. I mostly focused on stretching. I kept doing the HypnoBirth stuff. The pregnancy went on. I registered at a hospital just as a backup just in case we needed to transfer. I went to the registration appointment at this hospital. They were supposed to be the best VBAC hospital and they claimed to be the best VBAC hospital in the city, but the doctor there was so anti-VBAC and just talking about, “Oh, you are causing all of this risk if this happens.” I was really kind of shocked by it and at one point, she was like, “Oh, we need to do this ultrasound,” and I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you want to do this ultrasound for?” She was like, “Well, we need to make sure your baby isn't too big and that your scar is thick enough.” I said, “Well, I know that those growth scans, you might as well flip a coin so I'm not interested and also, there is not any research supporting the use of ultrasound measurements of the scar with predicting the risk of rupture so no, I decline.” She said, “Well, no you have to do it.” I said, “No, I don't and I'm not doing it unless you can tell me what evidence you use to come up with these recommendations and what are the cutoffs? How thin is too thin is too thin for the scar? You have to be able to tell me that and you have to tell me what evidence you've used to come up with that definition and I will not consent to the ultrasound until you tell me that.” She just couldn't do it. She kept just going on about like, “Well, you have to. You have to.” I said, “I don't have to do anything. I don't consent. If you don't know the answer, find someone that does.” My doula was with me and she ended up going. This doctor ended up going and getting their boss. She came in and my doula had told them something about how we were just planning this as backup for a home birth. They were like, “You absolutely cannot have a home birth.” I was like, “I absolutely will. That is my choice and you can't tell me what to do. I'm doing that.” They were just like, “No, no. You can't do that. You can come here and have the birth.” I said to them, “I know I'm going to need a long time to labor. I was in labor for 48 hours with my son. I need a lot of time. There was nothing medically wrong with my with my son. It was just this pure, bureaucratic nonsense. I was pressured into it because I took too long. I know that and I need support to get through a long labor and it's safer for me to be at home and it's safest if there is a midwife at home with me that can check on the baby and make the recommendation when it's time to transfer. That's the best course of action.” They were like, “No, no. You can only plan to birth here.” I was like, “Well, if that happens, then I'm going to be home alone without anybody there to check on the baby. How is that safe?” They just kept saying, “You can't do that. You can't have that here.” Katie: We ended up not having a backup hospital. That was kind of a tough conversation but I was really proud of myself that I had stood my ground so much. Just a lot of women talk about how you always want to be polite and non-confrontational. I was like, “I'm not going to be that way. I'm going to demand answers. I'm not going to do things just to be nice.” I was very proud of myself that although I was basically banned from that hospital, I was proud of myself for sticking up for myself. I really felt and the literature also supported that homebirth was a safe option for me, but we went into it not having a backup hospital. 42:01 Labor beginsKatie: I'll move on to the actual labor and birth with my VBAC baby. So that also started around midnight. I woke up feeling kind of funny. I went to the bathroom and a little bit of amniotic fluid came out. I was like, “Oh, great.” I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do in that situation so I got on my birth ball and bounced. I listened to an episode from Evidence-Based Birth about the premature rupture of membranes. I listened to that and was like, “No, no. I feel best about waiting for labor to start on its own.” I kept having some mild cramping throughout the night and then around 5:00 AM, I went to the bathroom again and I had some bloody show. Around 9:00, I texted my doula and my midwife just to let them know. My midwife, Julia was like, “Let me come over. I have a lot going on today. Let me just come over and see how you are doing.”I was like, “You can, but I'm not really having any contractions. I'm just having some cramps.” She came over and we chatted. She offered to do a vaginal exam to see where I was at. I said, “No, I'm not really in labor yet. I don't want to risk it.” She left and then a few hours later, I started having “contractions”. I was so excited because they were actually contractions, this wave feeling in my uterus because with my son, it had always been this stabbing pain in the back. I'd never felt my uterus doing anything. I was like, “Oh my gosh. Everything I did worked. I'm having real contractions.” I was so excited. We just kept working through them. We made a plan to have my son go over to my sister-in-law. I was convinced that oh, maybe labor won't really start. I don't know what I was thinking, but my husband and I made a plan to just have a nice dinner together and send our son off so if I went into labor, he would have somewhere to stay and if not, we would have one more nice evening together before the baby came. But I was in denial. The contractions kept ramping up throughout the day. Finally, at dinnertime, we were eating our dinner and my husband was like, “Do you want me to call Johanna?” Johanna is our doula and I was like, “No, it's way too soon. It's only been a few hours.” He was like, “Are you sure?” Then I realized. I took that as a sign that he needed the support. I was like, “Great. Let's have her come over.” I totally thought she would come over and be like, “Yeah, she's fine. Let's go to bed and we'll take care of this later.” She came over and supported me through some contractions and was like, “Hmm, how would you feel about having your midwife come over?” I was like, “it's way too soon. It's only been 7 hours. The contractions are too far apart and too short.” She was like, “No, I've been timing them and they are over a minute long and three minutes apart.” I was like, “I guess you can call her if you want to.”They called her and she listened to me having some contractions on the phone and was like, “Yep, that sounds like active labor. I'm coming over.” She came over and we all labored together. Katie: At some point, I started having back labor again. During the day, it had been this really nice wave feeling, but then the back labor started to come in. Around 11:30ish, my midwife checked me and she told me that my cervix was really posterior and that the baby was actually just pressing on the lower segment of my uterus. I didn't want to know how much I was dilated, but I knew that it was probably not much based on what she was saying from that.Later, after the birth, I found out I hadn't dilated at all. She actually manually moved the cervix down and held it under the baby's head and had me do a couple of contractions like that. It was awful. She really recommended that I try to lay down as much as possible during contractions because her theory was that something was pulling my cervix back so if I was moving around too much, it would keep pulling it back. It was so painful to lay down. She ended up leaving to go get some sleep. I kept laboring like that throughout the night. I got super nauseated. I was throwing up. It was just the only way I could get through contractions was to sit on my birthing ball. I had hung a sling up and I would hold onto the sling because I just could not have anything touching my pelvis. It felt like along my SI joints, they were going to just split in two.We labored throughout the night like that and they really did a really good job supporting me. They made sure– I had told my husband that his one job was to make sure I was eating or drinking and that after every contraction he should offer me something to drink and he did that to the point of annoyance during labor but he kept doing it and they did a really good job. 47:11 Getting support from her birth teamKatie: Around 7:30, throughout the night, the back pain was getting worse and worse. Around 7:30, we decided to call the midwife and have her come back. This is probably the first moment that I realized, “I think I'm going to need some help here.” I had read so many books talking about how childbirth is a physiological process and everyone can do it. You can do hard things. I really believed that, but it was really that I was starting to realize that, “Yeah, the majority of women are going to get through it fine, but I'm in that minority that really maybe does need some help.” I didn't say anything at that point. My midwife came over and again, I didn't know it at the time, but she checked me and I hadn't progressed at all throughout the night. My cervix had slipped back again into a posterior position. She did that thing where she held it in place again and really had me try to be laying down as much as possible to again with her theory about how my cervix was being pulled back. It was just so painful but it worked.I started progressing which was really exciting, but at the same time, I started having this weird contraction. It felt like my body was doing a kegel uncontrollably and involuntarily doing kegels during contractions. I could feel my pelvic floor closing up on itself. I was like, “I thought that was just because the Pitocin was on too high for my first birth, but this is my own natural oxytocin and I'm having this feeling again.”I kept laboring throughout the day. They somehow found a TENS machine for my back pain, but anyway, around 11:00 or noon, I said to them, “I think I'm going to need some help. I'm not sure anymore.” I had been so adamant during my entire pregnancy that I absolutely do not want to transfer to the hospital. Only if there is a medical reason and they were like, “No, you are doing so good. Let's stay home.” They really kept working with me, but by 4:00 or 5:00, I was like, “I think I really just need to accept that I need help.” We did a lot of massage and position changes. We did all of the Spinning Babies stuff. I could not get my pelvic floor to relax. It had been at this point 30 hours and I was like, “I did everything right this time. I feel safe. I set up a beautiful birthing space. I'm not scared. I want to have this baby and it's just not working. I just need to accept that. I don't know. I need some help.” 50:12 Transferring to the hospitalKatie: We went to the hospital and I thought I was going to be treated like crap because I was a home birth transfer and I didn't register ahead of time. We were just so lucky. We got the greatest people and I remember– I'm going to cry. They placed the epidural and I was finally doing some intake paperwork with the midwife that was going to be taking over and I was like, “I know you think I'm crazy, but this is so important to me. I have to do this.” She said, “Of course, you're going to do it.” It just felt like, I don't even know. It was just like, “Yeah, I am going to do it.” We talked to my anesthesiologist and I was telling him about what had happened at the last hospital. We talked about how I was really scared about another C-section because I had felt it during my first one and I didn't want another C-section. We talked about it. I was like, “You know if I need to have another C-section, I want to be put under. I don't need to experience that again. As much as I want to be awake for meeting my baby, I don't need that to feel it.” We had an agreement that if it ended up going toward a C-section, he would put me under. I felt like it was such a night and day difference. The staff at this hospital was again, way more modern. The staff was so respectful and always asked my permission to do things. We always talked about the plan and what we were going to do and explained the benefits and risks and all of those things.I had to get a Pitocin drip. I understood that with getting the epidural but they were like, “We won't turn it up too high. We will go slow. We'll probably have to break your water at some point, but we're going to wait until as close to the birth as possible.” They really laid out a plan. They checked me 2 hours after I had gotten the epidural and I had progressed to a 7. I just burst into tears. I had just gotten the epidural. At that point, I wasn't sure if it was the right choice or if I had just basically signed up for a C-section by going to the hospital. I didn't know at that point, but since I was at a 7, I was like, “Oh my gosh. I am going to make it.” It took another 10 hours, but I made it to 10. Throughout the night, I had the same issues with the epidural not working, but this anesthesiologist worked his butt off. He came in and he tried so many things like repositioning it and trying different medications, trying different types of concentrations. He tried so many things to help me and I could really tell that he felt bad that he couldn't totally take the pain away. Just that alone was enough. I was like, “It's okay. As long as my pelvic floor is relaxing, I can get through it.” 53:32 Feeling intense scar painKatie: At some point, around 4:00 AM, they gave me a really big bolus because they wanted me to get some sleep but I couldn't feel anything. I was completely numb. They said, “Okay, why don't you labor down a little bit? Your baby looks fine on the monitor. Everything is okay.” Around 6:00-6:30, I woke up and that bolus had completely worn of. This back pain that I was having was in that moment a thousand times worse because her head was down in the birth canal. I could feel. I remember checking and I could feel. I could only go about a fingertip in and could feel her head. It was so intense. My pelvis felt like it was on fire. I thought I was going to burst into flame. They had me start pushing and she was right there, but she was just not descending anymore. At some point, I remember they had me try to get onto my hands and knees. I was like a wild animal so I can't really remember everything, but they had me get on hands and knees. I realized, “Oh, I don't want to be on hands and knees because I can't brace my scar when I'm pushing,” then I realized, “Oh, my scar is kind of hurting.” Then I was like, “Why is nobody else worried about my scar hurting?” I was like, “Oh, I haven't said anything to anybody that my scar was hurting.” It was getting more and more painful. I was finally like, “Oh my gosh, my scar, my scar. It hurts so bad.” The midwife got a doctor to come in and they did an ultrasound and the doctor said, “Your scar looks fine.” It just kept hurting and it was hurting more and more. They were cleaning up the ultrasound machine and the pain wasn't going away in between contractions. Even though they were saying everything was fine, I just felt like things weren't fine. I almost had an out-of-body experience where I envisioned a future where my uterus ruptured and I got rushed out to the OR and it was really nasty. I was like, “No. I can't let that happen,” so I started yelling at them. I was like, “A vacuum, I need a vacuum.” They were like, “Are you sure?” I was like, “Yeah, yeah. I really need a vacuum. I need a vacuum right now.” I remember the doctor asking the midwife, “Well, how long has she been pushing?” In my mind, it had been 10 minutes and they were like, “Oh, it's been over 2 hours.” I was like, “Yes. Yes. Now. I need my baby to be born now, like right now.” 56:23 Asking for the vacuumKatie: They got a vacuum and pulled her out. I can't describe it. Although there was so much intervention and stuff, I felt like it was this home birth experience that everyone talks about because I got this crazy flood of oxytocin and I just bawled my eyes out for an hour and I felt like you know when you are a kid and it's Christmas morning and you've been waiting for weeks to get your Christmas present and you finally get to open it and you're so excited? It was like that feeling times a million. It was just an incredible feeling. She was there. I didn't know at that point if she was a girl or a boy so I got to look and I was like, “Oh my gosh. It's a girl.” It was just a really incredible moment. Meagan: Yes. So amazing that you were supported and that they listened to you. Katie: Yeah. I mean, my husband and I have talked about how this is the hospital that I should have had my son at. I don't know if I would have had a different outcome. I might have still ended up with a C-section there, but I don't think I would have had the same amount of trauma because the staff was so respectful and they were very capable and competent. It made just such a huge difference. Meagan: Absolutely. It sucks that a lot of the time, it comes to that– where we are and who is in that space. Katie: Exactly, yeah. Meagan: You know, we can't always control that which is a little nervewracking sometimes. We've just got to trust, but I love that you– I mean, honestly even with the first birth, like you said, you got to a point where you weren't in your brain-brain because you were in labor land, but you were really amazing at advocating for yourself overall. I just want to say congrats on that because that's really, really hard to do. Katie: Thank you. 58:42 Katie's advice for listenersMeagan: I don't know if you have any advice for listeners to be able to have your voice be heard or find that space inside of your soul that can come out and say what you need when you need it, and how you need it, but that's a really hard thing to do in labor. Katie: Yeah, I would say that I think it really made a difference that the doula was there. I think it created another layer of protection where she could run interference too and take on some of that burden. I think it was a little bit of her. I was like, “A vacuum, a vacuum, I need a vacuum.” She was the one like, “Yes, yes. She is asking for a vacuum. She wants that baby to come out now.” I didn't have to carry on the fight anymore because there was a moment in that when they said, “Everything on the CTG looks good.” I could have said, “Well, if they are saying that everything looks fine, maybe I could keep trying,” but I felt so strongly in myself that the baby needed to come out. Since I didn't have to keep fighting for myself, I verbalized what I needed and she carried the torch basically I would say, it really made a big difference that she was able to keep saying, “Yeah, yeah. She wants the vacuum now. Let's get it.” I guess preparing for a VBAC, you have to read all of the stuff and know because people will come and tell you things. You really need to be able to come back and say, “Actually, the guidelines don't support that.” I think it helps too if you have real citations. Do you know what I mean? You can actually say, “There is a paper that is supportive of this or not supportive.” You have to be able to have that knowledge almost and feel really confident that you know it to have those discussions with people as well. Meagan: Yeah, having the evidence is– not only knowing the evidence but having the evidence. That was something​​ that was really important to Julie and I when we were writing the course was not only giving the evidence but sharing the citations for those. Yeah. I mean, going back to the scar thickness and this and that. You were like, “Listen, no and no. I'm not going to do either of these things,” and they really couldn't come in with the evidence. That was so clear that the evidence wasn't there. They just wanted to bully you into making the decision that they wanted you to make. Katie: Right. Meagan: So having that knowledge and of course, having the evidence in general, but having those actual sites within links on your phone or in a manual or whatever. Katie: Exactly yeah. Meagan: So then you can be like, “It says this right here. Do you see anything different? Do you have anything new and updated?” Katie: Right. 1:01:47 The Friedman CurveMeagan: So talking about new and updated within your story, one of the things you mentioned that you wanted to talk about was the outdated and poor quality research that was done by the Friedman curve that is still being used. Do you want to talk about that at all? Katie: Yeah. That was something I came to the conclusion when I read a lot of papers and in my first birth and in my documentation, the diagnosis was “prolonged labor and failure to progress”. I was like, “What does that even mean?” I couldn't really find a definition in the literature of what prolonged labor was and what I realized was that it's way more that there are economic reasons to speed up labor, not clinical reasons. That's why it was so important to me. I was like, “If I need to have my baby by C-section, I will proudly walk into that OR if there is a medical reason or a clinical reason, but not a bad management reason or not because it's just taking too long.” I just couldn't find anything really convincing and one of the big criticisms of the research that Friedman did was that it was only a very narrow population at one hospital in the 50s. In the 50s, everyone was getting twilight sleep and all of the babies were being pulled out with forceps. It really can't be applied to us as modern birthing women. Yeah, there's an idea of on average, women take so long, this 12-24 hours. That's about true, but there are corner cases like mine or if I remember correctly from your story. You were also in labor for a long time. Meagan: Mine too, yep. Katie: Just because you're in labor for a long time doesn't mean that it's bad. The question is how is Mom doing? Is she healthy? Is baby healthy? If the answer is yes and also if Mom is up to keep going, because I think there are a lot of stories on The VBAC Link Podcast too of women who decided, “I'm only going to labor for so long and if I'm not dilating, then I'm going to call it.” I also think that's great that some women make that judgment call of, “I really want a VBAC, but I just don't want to do it for days and days.” I had the opposite decision for myself where I was like, “I'm going to do this until my baby comes out unless there is a clear medical reason that we need a C-section.” Meagan: Right. Katie: Yeah, I think it's just important to know that there's actually not great research for what is normal and just because you are outside of normal doesn't mean it's bad or dangerous. Meagan: Yeah. I agree. We're going to provide the little bit of a risk factor in Germany specifically with the different locations and then Evidence-Based Birth who we love and adore, they actually have a blog on the Friedman's Curve. They talked about how in 2014– you guys, it's 2024 so 10 years ago– ACOG came together with the Society of Maternal-Fetal Medicine, so MFM, and they published new guidelines on labor progress. They said their new “normal” of labor is longer than the Friedman definition. There is more room for flexibility such as when an epidural is being used. In addition, new timelines were developed to define when labor progresses abnormally slowly. They are recognizing that sometimes labor does progress abnormally in their minds. That's abnormal to them. New terms were defined with purpose and they talk about how it's changed from 4 centimeters to 6 centimeters and things like that. I mean, this is a really wonderful blog. I'm going to drop it in here but I love how you talked about that. Just because it doesn't go as someone thinks it should go or the lack of really true evidence all around shows it should go doesn't mean it's bad. It doesn't mean something is wrong and it doesn't always mean you have to do something different. It just means you may need more time. 1:06:16 Trusting your intuitionMeagan: Now, you may want to do something different. You may feel you need to do something different like transfer to the hospital. These are things where we have to tune into that intuition and think, “Okay, what is my body telling me? What am I supposed to be doing?” But long labor, you guys, kind of sucks sometimes to have to keep going and keep going but at the same time, it's so amazing that your body can do that and is doing that. We have to trust that. We have to trust that process and trust our intuition. Katie: Yeah, and I have to say my first labor was 48 hours and I had the C-section. It's a trauma and this one was 45 hours and it was super intense the entire time basically for at least 38 hours of it I would say, but I can barely remember it or even connect to it anymore because I was just so happy to have the VBAC. I always had this attitude that it's just a day for me or a few days that it's going to be tough, but it's going to be so great afterward and that's really the attitude that I had. For me, that's been true. Postpartum is always hard, but I have so much more resilience this time and I really had that attitude that “I can do it. I can do hard things,” and I can. Meagan: You can. Yes. I love that you pointed that out. Yeah, it's a few days but it's a few days that led to this cute little baby that's joining us today on the podcast. Well, we will make sure to have the links for those two blogs that we mentioned and the study. I just want to say congratulations. Amazing job. Katie: Thank you. Meagan: Really good job of advocating for yourself. To the point of having a doula, even when those doulas aren't speaking out loud for you, they have this space that they hold that makes you feel like you can and then they support you and rally behind you. I love that you mentioned that because I mean, even with myself with my own birth as a doula at that point, having doulas, I truly felt like that, like I was able to have the extra voice that I wanted to speak. It came out so I'm so happy that you had your doula and I'm so happy for you and congratulations again. 1:08:56 Doula supportKatie: I just wanted to mention too with my doula if she ever hears this, she was with us for 38 hours and just– Meagan: Oof, so long. Katie: We had a contract. There was an exchange of money, but at the same time, I would have understood if she had said, “I've been away from my own children for so long. I need to go check on them.” She really stayed with us and helped us that entire time. It has just been the biggest gift that somebody would set aside their own needs to make this difference in our family. I don't know– I wasn't very good at expressing that to her. I feel like in the moment, I didn't have the words for it, but I hope if there are any other doulas listening, the work that you are doing makes such a huge difference. Meagan: I love that. Thank you for sharing. Katie: I also wanted to say thanks to everyone who has ever shared a story about actually having a uterine rupture because listening to those stories, they all always mentioned that they felt that something wasn't right and having heard those stories really gave me the confidence to say, “Things aren't right. I need to get my baby out.” I know it's scary, but if anyone is planning a VBAC, I think it's important to also hear those stories as well because it really empowered me to get the help that I thought I needed and to stand up and advocate for that. Meagan: Yeah, I love that you touched on that because those stories, even with repeat C-section stories, are really hard to listen to or allow in your space when that's not what you are wanting, but a lot of those times, if you can find the space to join in on those episodes, they really do bring a lot of education as well. I think if it does end in a C-section or something like this, it can also bring some validation and healing weirdly enough by knowing these episodes. Katie: Yeah, I agree. Meagan: Yeah.ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Our Sponsors:* Check out Dr. Mom Butt Balm: drmombuttbalm.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

We all know that inductions are on the rise and many times they are not founded in evidence-based reasons! With so many women hoping to avoid unnecessary interventions, particularly c-sections, HeHe knew that Dr. Rachel Reed was the perfect expert to share how you can avoid an unnecessary induction which will lead to lower risk of unnecessary interventions and decrease your risk of a c-section.   JOIN THE BIRTH LOUNGE! >>> Just $55/m, cancel anytime!   Connect with Dr. Rachel: Her Website Her Blog   Follow HeHe on Instagram    

Today, on The Mama Village podcast, we have the privilege of hearing from Tess, a remarkable woman who has journeyed through the depths of infertility struggles to find herself in the radiant light of motherhood. Her path led her to a private hospital where she experienced a birth filled with love, support, and power. But Tess's journey doesn't end there. Inspired by her own experiences, she has become a doula, offering her unique gift of support to women who face similar challenges on their path to motherhood. Tess's passion lies in holding space for mothers during the vulnerable postpartum period, where she provides emotional support, practical assistance, and unwavering compassion. In our conversation, Tess shares her insights into the profound role of a doula in both the birth and postpartum space. We delve into topics such as postpartum depletion, the importance of setting healthy boundaries after birth, and the transformative power of unconditional support. So join us as we embark on this journey with Tess, exploring the depths of her experiences and the wisdom she has gained along the way. Don't forget that if you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review on your podcast platform. Thank you all for your continuing support! If you would like to share your positive pregnancy, birth, postpartum and motherhood story, or you have education in the space to share, please send me a DM or email the.mamavillage@outlook.com   @doula_maid_tess www.doulamaidtess.com.au For Music: https://soundcloud.com/emotionetoile/kevin-macleod-easy-day-no-copyright-music-103   Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and this is not medical advice. Any information discussed in this podcast should not replace the advice of your professional healthcare provider. This podcast is designed for general information only and is not specific to individual needs. Please seek advice from your professional health care provider if you have any concerns regarding your pregnancy, birth or postpartum.   Resources: Podcasts - The Great Birth Rebellion Positive Birth Australia Down to Birth Books - Hypnobirthing The Mongan Method by Marie F Mongon, Birth with Confidence by Rhea Dempsey, Reclaiming childbirth as a Rite of Rassage by Rachel Reed, The Birth Space by Gabrielle Nancarrow Dr Sara Wickham social media and blog Birth Time – the documentary Born at Home – the documentary

The baby is born and takes its first breath. But it's not over. India examines how the body reacts and recovers in this first hour, how the placenta is born, and how bonding begins between parents and baby. And what if it doesn't? It's not always instant love, and that's okay. India speaks to doula Leila Baker and former midwife Rachel Reed about building that enchantment a different way when the rush of hormones doesn't have the expected effect. Midwife Leah Hazard describes the immediate aftercare and India asks Dr Alison Wright about how more personalised care could improve mothers experiences.Produced and Presented by: India Rakusen. Series producer: Ellie Sans. Production Team: Ella McLeod & Georgia Arundell Executive producer: Suzy Grant. Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts Original music composed and performed by ESKA. Mix and Mastering by Charlie Brandon-King.A Listen Production for Radio 4 and BBC Sounds.

In today's episode, Chelsea (she/her and co-host of the poddy) gives us insights into her journey towards VBAC - vaginal birth after caesarean. Chelsea reflects on her first birth which involved a long labour, posterior baby, last minute midwife change and ultimately ended in an unplanned caesarean-section in hospital. Chels shares that she immediately knew she wanted a different experience for any subsequent pregnancies and births, and so began her journey towards VBAC.  In this episode, Chelsea shares her learnings and tips around homebirth and vaginal birth after a caesarean. She discusses: Her path to homebirth and the decision to have a homebirth Preparing for homebirth, including finding a birth support team, unpacking any prior births, working through apprehensions around birth, and creating an emotionally and physically safe birthing space Language around birth and discussing birth choices with loved ones Practical tips and strategies that Chelsea found to be helpful  We are SO excited to share this episode! Chelsea's passion and knowledge around birth and birth choices comes through in her story, and we hope there are take-aways for all our listeners in this ep - regardless of your birth preferences and choices. All births are beautiful births and we are honoured to share different ways of approaching birth.  Some wonderful people and resources that Chelsea mentions in this episode: Rachel Reed's instagram Melanie the Midwife's episode  B - Core and Floor Restore  Physio Laura's Pregnancy Posse Gabriel Lorri Labour Bodywork VBAC series on the podcast - first episode Rowie Cooke's HBAC episode Doula Bree Stafford's instagram MAMA - Midwives and Mothers Australia The Australian VBAC Stories Podcast To join our growing community, see photos of our weekly guests, behind the scenes moments, and keep up to date with episode releases, follow us on instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@growingupraisinguspodcast.⁠ This podcast was recorded on the unceded lands of the Wurundjeri Wilam and Boon Wurrung/Bunurong peoples of the Kulin Nation. Every month, I Pay The Rent and so can you - click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠to learn more.

Welcome to episode 27! In this weeks episode, Nathalie shares her journey to finding homebirth, after having a very negative experience in the hospital system, further complicated by the label of gestational diabetes. Nathalie thought that she could navigate the system with her GDM diagnosis, however over half way through her 2nd pregnancy, her doula suggested finding a homebirth private midwife to support her, and from there she discovered homebirth. We also reflect on how her anxiety was used against her, and how it impacted her pregnancy and birth experiences, and we also discuss post partum. Links to people/business/resources for this episode:Newcastle and surrounds homebirth community FB group https://www.facebook.com/groups/newcastlehomebirthcommunity/The Midwives Cauldron Podcast - Gestational Diabetes https://themidwivescauldron.buzzsprout.com/1178486/8857485-gestational-diabetes-the-baby-s-perspectiveLily Nichols Nutrition in Pregnancy https://lilynicholsrdn.com/Post partum pre-eclampsia https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/diseases-conditions/preeclampsiaEvidence on benefits of a doula/birth support https://evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/Anxiety in pregnancy https://panda.org.au/articles/getting-help-support-during-pregnancy/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA0bWvBhBjEiwAtEsoW_ey_QGj7lZvmGDaPeuNLqv5OMBeKQHA1j36NtnTEJem2XJNfsveOxoCNh4QAvD_BwEWhite Coat Syndrome https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23989-white-coat-syndromeKinesiology in pregnancy https://www.essentialme.com.au/blog/2019/11/02/how-kinesiology-can-help-you-conception-and-beyondReclaiming birth as a rite of passage by Dr Rachel Reed https://www.rachelreed.website/rcrpBirth Skills by Juju Sundin https://woomwomen.com.au/products/birth-skills-bookJane Hardwick Collins https://janehardwickecollings.com/Meal Train Post Partum Food Delivery https://www.mealtrain.com/CHAPTERS00:53Natalie's Hospital Birth Journey06:32Learning About Home Birth08:28Natalie's First Pregnancy and Hospital Birth09:27Disjointed Care and Gestational Diabetes Diagnosis12:14Exploring Home Birth as an Option16:30Navigating the Hospital Pathway25:35Reflecting on the Birth Experience28:26Pregnancy with Remy and Gestational Diabetes32:15Increased Nuchal Translucency and Anxiety35:41Considering Home Birth with a Private Midwife36:47Finding a Private Midwife39:10Mental Health Support during Pregnancy40:09Dealing with Gestational Diabetes42:57Pregnancy Challenges and Health Anxiety45:13Preparing for Birth with Education and Support48:29Going into Labor with Remy52:33Midwife Delay and Birth Pool55:50Birth Experience and Postpartum01:05:08Feeling Empowered and Postpartum ChallengesSupport the show

In the second of my replay episodes I have chosen this incredibly informative conversation I had from Season 2 with Dr Rachel Reed. We talk about everything birth and cover topics that relate to pregnancy, birth partners, midwives, student midwives, and doulas. I find it really helps to re-listen to the information that is shared with experienced birth professionals to help consolidate your knowledge and develop your own philosophies of birth. Enjoy SxIf you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/LabourofloveThe Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9dfPregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth' - Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmOPregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPFYou can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for all listeners, so you should always do your own research before making decisions.

In this episode we speak with postpartum doula, Jules Meyer of @flo.to.grow, about her experience of the “cascade of intervention” in her first birth following induction, her journey of preparing for a vaginal birth after caesarean (VBAC), the ongoing advocacy required through her pregnancy, and birth, and how it felt to birth her second baby vaginally, both in those minutes and hours post-birth, and now, weeks into her postpartum. She reflects beautifully on the shift from being what she thought was informed first time around, to getting really informed, and standing in her power to birth her baby as she wanted to. This is a great story for anyone preparing to birth their baby, as well as for anyone preparing for a VBAC. Jules also takes us through how she prepared for and is experiencing postpartum second time around. Links:Jules drew on the following resources in preparing for VBAC Birth After Caesarean: Your Journey to a Better Birth (we cover this with Hazel in an upcoming episode)Flor Cruz https://www.instagram.com/badassmotherbirther/B from Core and Floor Restore https://www.instagram.com/coreandfloorrestore/ Rachel Reed on VBACRhea Dempsey - Birth with ConfidenceEvidence Based Midwife on the ARRIVE Trial Learn more about Jules and her postpartum doula offerings at: https://flotogrow.com/Disclaimer: This podcast aims to share stories and education to assist you in navigating your pregnancy and birth and in discussing these choices with your chosen pregnancy care provider. The information and resources provided are educational in nature and do not constitute or replace medical or midwifery advice. While we have worked hard to ensure that the information we provide is accurate and based on reliable and up to date evidence, we do not warrant or guarantee the accuracy of this information. Our website and podcast are intended to complement, and never to substitute, your midwifery or medical clinical care.

Episode 23 is the birth story of Nia, who Tash gave birth to at home after having had a c-section. Tash tells her experience of a 'failed' induction for an unclear and inconsistent pre eclampsia diagnosis, that also led to the seperation of her and baby Leo, and ultimately severly impacted her post partum.  Tash wasn't aware of homebirth, until choosing continuity of care, and learning from her private midwife of the possibility of homebirth.  This is a powerful and beautiful story of Tash getting bacl her self belief as a woman, and as a mum. Links to people/business/resources for this episode:Breast Cancer & the Braca 1 Gene https://www.breastcancerspecialist.com.au/procedures-treatment/prophylactic-mastectomy-risk-reducing-mastectomy-immediate-reconstructionBMI and pregnancy https://www.sarawickham.com/plus-size-pregnancy/Double Uterus https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/double-uterus/symptoms-causes/syc-20352261Hypertension in pregnancy https://australianprescriber.tg.org.au/articles/management-of-hypertension-in-pregnancy.htmlWhy Induction Matters by Dr Rachel Reed https://www.rachelreed.website/wimHBAC research https://www.sarawickham.com/research-updates/hbac/The Positive Birth Company https://thepositivebirthcompany.co.uk/FREE Antental Classes https://coreandfloor.com.au/products/antenatal-classesVaginal Examinations on The Great Birth Rebellion Podcast https://www.melaniethemidwife.com/podcasts/the-great-birth-rebellion/episodes/2147802824Support the show

Episode 20 is here! And what better way to celebrate than with TWO homebirth stories from Emma in Woollongong, NSW.  This is a beautiful episode & I was so excited to hear the birth of Dara as well, because Emma listened to this podcast whilst she was pregnancy with Dara! How full circle. Links to people/business/resources for this episode:Birth Time Documentary - get 20% off with code CICADA20 when you use my link> https://www.birthtime.world/a/2147503775/TEzXryDMGroup B Strep https://www.melaniethemidwife.com/podcasts/the-great-birth-rebellion/episodes/2147792078Gestional Diabetes and the Glucose Tolerance Test https://midwifethinking.com/2018/03/20/gestational-diabetes-beyond-the-label/Negative Blood Types and Anti-D https://themidwivescauldron.buzzsprout.com/1178486/8664928-an-interview-with-dr-sara-wickhamFree! Core Floor & Restore Antenatal Class https://coreandfloor.com.au/products/antenatal-classesSex for 'natural' induction of labour  https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-on-pineapple-and-sex-for-natural-labor-induction/Rebozzo Sifting https://www.pregnancy.com.au/rebozo-sifting-demonstration/Meconium in waters Rachel Reed's Blog https://midwifethinking.com/2015/01/14/the-curse-of-meconium-stained-liquor/Birthing Instincts Podcast https://open.spotify.com/episode/0blrYkGkDK2O5MjzRoSWFz?si=9d2910b4272e45a0After birth pains https://www.cochrane.org/CD004908/PREG_relief-pain-caused-uterine-cramping-or-involution-after-giving-birthCHAPTERS: 03:18Discovering Home Birth06:11Challenges with Hospital Birth08:09Choosing Home Birth09:06Pregnancy Experience11:20Declining Tests14:21Education and Preparation23:00Working During Pregnancy28:48Onset of Labor31:02Midwife's Arrival36:37Progression of Labor41:14Feeling the Baby's Head45:04Transition and Pushing46:57The Birth of Emma's First Child at Home50:31Deciding on a Home Birth for Emma's Second Child51:26Dealing with Morning Sickness During Pregnancy56:43The Role of a Doula in Emma's Second Birth58:32Declining the Glucose Tolerance Test59:53Finishing Work and Preparing for Birth01:04:24Emma's Waters Breaking and Waiting for Labor to Start01:07:13Contractions Begin and the Midwife's Advice01:12:26Emotional Challenges and the Midwife's Support01:19:16Active Labor and Getting into the Birth Pool01:27:43The Birth of Emma's Second Child at Home01:30:26The Afterbirth and Postpartum Experience01:32:28Difficulties during labor and recovery01:33:54Lack of appetite and dehydration01:35:43Factors contributing to the challenging labor01:36:38Importance of rest and recovery01:37:38Advice for women with pre-rupture of membranes01:38:32Home birth experiencesSupport the show

Episode 15 is shared by Ashley, a well known VBAC and birthing at home advocate, who is also a Homebirth Mindset Coach and Guide, a Podcaster and regularly is invited to speak about her experience. Ashley shares the stories of how she came to freebirth her 3rd baby at home in 2020 after 2 traumatic labour and births that both were c-sections. Ashley also has her own fabulous podcast called 'VBAC Homebirth Stories Podcast' and you can learn more about Ashley via her website  > https://ashleywinning.com/Freebirth story begins approx 1 hour 2 minLinks to people/business/resources for this episode:Etsy Shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/BirthingAtHome?ref=dashboard-headerThe Glucose Tolerance Test https://midwifethinking.com/2019/09/02/big-babies-the-risk-of-care-provider-fear/'Plus Size Pregnancy' Sara Wickham - an awesome resource https://www.sarawickham.com/plus-size-pregnancy/Plus Size Pregnancy on The Midwives Cauldron https://open.spotify.com/episode/0xbivX76xFbrH0YaKu4K3w?si=358e4bbc8ba24a27'Why Induction Matters' Rachel Reed https://www.rachelreed.website/wimVBAC - Midwives Cauldron Interview With Dr Hazel Keedle https://open.spotify.com/episode/0RZzyTfNpwR7hLTt64Gfrx?si=21354f5d7f274625The 'dead baby' card “Sadly, I hear from many women and families who have been told that they have 'a high chance of stillbirth,' or that their baby, '…will almost certainly die if you don't come in for induction right away,' when this is absolutely not true." (Wickham 2021).“Sheila Kitzinger described this as ‘emotional blackmail,' and many people refer to it as ‘playing the dead baby card.'” (Wickham 2021).Cervical Tear https://www.vinmec.com/en/news/health-news/obstetrics-gynecology-and-assisted-reproductive-technologies-art/treatment-method-for-cervical-tear/Posterior Baby https://midwifethinking.com/2016/06/08/in-celebration-of-the-op-baby/Support the show

Today on The Natural Birth Podcast I will be the guest. Usually on this podcast I am the host and I interview mamas from around the world who've had a natural and empowering birth experience. The intention with this podcast was to spread an alternative birth narrative to the dominant fear based medicalized one. And I've come to be known as The Spiritual Midwife around the world doing so. And that is what I am here to talk about today. Because I will no longer be called The Spiritual Midwife, but the The Spiritual Midwitch. As of this year 2023 I am no longer a registered midwife and can therefor no longer legally call myself a midwife. And so in today's episode I will share my her story. My journey of becoming a midwife to then the choice to de-register and taking on the title of Midwitch. I will start with reading a part of the chapter HerStory in Rachel Reed's book Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage to set the scene and this will then weave in perfectly into the reasons why I am stepping out of the system and why I can no longer call myself a midwife due to the powers to be who have stolen the word and made it criminal for me to do so. If you want to understand why our birth culture is the way it is then this episode will explain that to you. And if you'd like to know more about our her story, about midwives and how our birth culture came to be as it is today, then I invite you to read Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage and/or download HerStory by Jane Hardwicke Collings from the links below. This episode will introduce you a bit deeper to me, your host, Anna The Spiritual Midwitch. Curious about me? Find me on instagram as @thespiritualmidwitch This episode is sponsored by Informed Pregnancy Plus. Try Informed Pregnancy Plus absolutely free of charge. Just visit informedpregnancy.tv and start watching these inspiring documentaries and films already today. Find All of Anna's Links & Resources Here: ⁠⁠www.thenaturalbirthcourse.com/links⁠-podcast --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thenaturalbirthpodcast/message

After finding wonderfully supportive midwives who were willing to deliver a breech baby at home, Jaime was sure that her first delivery would be peaceful and empowering. Things quickly turned traumatic, however, when she developed a fever and was rushed to the hospital where she was treated poorly and sent straight to the OR.It took seven years for Jaime to finally get to a peaceful place where she felt ready to birth again. Jaime shares her different approaches to this birth and how she found the courage to prepare for another home birth. Jaime was able to stay grounded, present, and in control during her labor and delivery, allowing her to achieve the beautiful HBAC she desired!Additional LinksBirthing From Within by Pam England and Rob HorowitzReclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage by Rachel ReedHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsThe VBAC Link Facebook CommunityFull Transcript under Episode DetailsMeagan: Hello, Women of Strength. It is another day for another amazing story. We have our friend, Jaime, here and she is from Nashville, Tennessee so if you are from Nashville, Tennessee, you're going to want to listen up. I know that people have been wanting to know where some of our listeners are coming from because they are looking for providers and hospitals and all of the things like that in their area. So today is coming from Tennessee. She had kind of a traumatic birth which a lot of us do and then was able to set a good path and redeem her story with a VBAC. We are so excited to be sharing this story with you guys today from Jaime but of course, we have a Review of the Week. We could never go without sharing one of these amazing reviews, you guys. Review of the WeekThis is from Apple Podcasts and it's from erind39. The subject is, “Planning Second VBAC with Confidence.” It says, “I am planning my second VBAC in July and I'm so happy that this podcast is back.” This was actually left in 2022 so last year when we came back. That was awesome. It says, “The VBAC Link is a great resource for anyone considering a VBAC. The stories are empowering and the data presented is affirming. I feel like I am so well-prepared for my second VBAC and have this podcast to thank.”Erin, thank you. We have you to thank for leaving this amazing review and if you guys haven't had a chance, drop a review for us. We love them. We absolutely love them. We read them on the podcast. We have our amazing crew that drops them into this amazing spreadsheet. I see them and seriously with some of these reviews, I bawl. They are so long and so detailed and so amazing. I get chills and I bawl. So thank you, all for leaving your reviews. Jaime's StoriesMeagan: Okay, Jaime. Welcome to the show. Jaime: Thank you for having me. Meagan: Thank you. I am excited for you to share your stories and talk more about– well, we're going to talk more about your story but not get discouraged along the way. So let's talk about it. Tell us where it all began. Jaime: Yeah, so Eloise is my first daughter who is now 7. We have a very large gap between kids but Eloise's birth was like you said, pretty traumatic for me in a lot of different ways. We wanted to do a home birth with her which off the bat, I'm just a crazy person for wanting to do a home birth. We were in Michigan at the time. I was pretty gung-ho about it. I felt very prepared. Maybe midway through my pregnancy, she ended up being breech. There were a lot of things that we tried to do to get her to flip. I spent a lot of time and energy worrying that she was a breech baby and what I was going to do. My midwives were like, “If you're comfortable doing a breech, we're comfortable doing a breech.” Meagan: Oh wow. That's amazing. This is in Michigan. Jaime: Yeah, it was. It was in Michigan. So they literally handed me their midwifery books which are three inches thick, two of them. They were like, “Read this section.” So they had me read everything about breech birth in their midwifery books. I feel like I'm still overeducated on breech birth just from doing that. Meagan: Yeah, that's amazing actually, though that you had that opportunity. Jaime: Yeah, so they were like, “After you read this if you're comfortable doing a breech birth, we're comfortable doing it too.” I read through everything and I was like, “Yeah, okay. This feels good.” It was. She was born in 2016 and it's crazy to say this, but the information we have available today was not like what it was back in 2016. Just having those books, I didn't have any other resources to really go to for breech birth or home birth or anything like that. But yeah. So I was comfortable doing it. I knew from reading if one single thing went wrong, that I was going to be going to the hospital. That was the midwifery thing. Typically, you've got multiple chances in a regular, normal pregnancy but with breech, it was one thing. So I go into labor. We had thought she flipped, but then I had my waters break and then it was all meconium. I was like, “Umm, I think she is still breech.” From there, I was kind of freaking out. I ended up getting a fever and one of the assistants walked in and she was like, “How are you feeling?” I'm like, “I feel awful. I just feel sick. I have chills. I don't feel normal. This doesn't feel good.” Her jaw hit the floor. I'm like, “Oh no. What did I say?” She took my temperature immediately and she was like, “You've got a fever.” They tried to get it down. They gave me one hour to get it reduced to a normal temperature and it wouldn't. I knew right away that we were going to the hospital. We ended up in the hospital. Michigan isn't very friendly when it comes to home births and midwives. I know everyone's been working on that relationship between hospitals and midwives, but Michigan at the time had no cooperation. So we just had a really bad experience. We are there. The doctor at one point is like, “You're going to be put under,” when the whole time, everyone else was telling me I was going to be awake. Then he comes in– I basically said, “I would like to hold my baby. I would like skin-to-skin as soon as possible.” Then he's like, “Well, that's not possible.” I'm like, “What do you mean?” He goes, “Well, you're going to be put under.” I was just like, “What? What are you talking about?” My husband looks at me and he's like, “Are you okay with that?” I was not trying to be any sort of way when I said this, but I just was like, “I don't really think I have a choice.” I was just saying, “I have to be okay with it because I don't have a choice.” I wasn't being snarky. The doctor was like, “You have a choice.” I was like, “Oh my gosh, I do? Tell me more about my choice.” He basically looked me dead in the eyes and he goes, “You can leave.” I was like, “What?” So it was just a really traumatic experience. I had the C-section. I got to be awake which was great, but Eloise ended up being in the NICU for 10 days. It just felt like we were trapped. We had CPS called on us. Meagan: Stop it. Are you serious?Jaime: There was a lot. There was a lot happening. It's like the horror story that you think of when you hear someone trying to have a home birth and then they end up in the hospital and anything that could go wrong went wrong. Eloise is perfectly healthy. It was just the dynamic of it all that went wrong, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. But yeah. I had a lot to work through. We didn't get pregnant for the longest time. I had no desire, really, because I just was terrified. I'm like, “I don't want to experience this again. I don't know what's going to happen.” It wasn't necessarily a bodily thing where I was feeling like my body failed me, it was more so just true traumatic, mental PTSD I guess. I'm not really sure how to put it. We got pregnant in 2020. I had a miscarriage with that baby, but when I found out I was pregnant, I was immediately not ready. I was terrified. There were so many things running through my brain. I just didn't know how to handle it. I started the course, that pregnancy course, going to an actual doctor. Off the bat, I was like, “I'm just going to go to a doctor because I don't want anything like what happened last time to happen again. I just want to avoid all of the hoop jumping. If I'm going to end up there, I'm just going to go there from the start,” basically, was kind of my mindset.We lost that baby and then with Delaney, the new baby, we got pregnant in 2022 with her. It was just different from the get-go. I think my husband was actually more nervous this time about everything than I was but I felt just very grounded. I felt confident about it. I was like, “I want to do a home birth. I definitely don't want to be in the hospital.” Things were still very weird with COVID so that was another big thing because I'm like, “I don't want to be in the last hour telling me that my husband can't be in the room,” or just weird rules like that happening around everything. So yeah, I'm like, “I'm going to do a home birth. I'm going to find a midwife.” It took me forever to find a midwife. I think I called everyone in the Nashville area and they were either busy, they were all booked up, or they wouldn't take a VBAC, or just not a good fit. I had one lady. I get on the phone with her and she's like, “Well, you know uterine rupture is not something to be just pushed under the rug.” I literally hung up the phone and I go to my husband Matt. I'm like, “I don't know. I'm a crazy person. What am I doing?” Meagan: You're not. Jaime: It just freaked me out. Yeah. So I found my midwife around 11 weeks which I felt was pretty late in the game. From that point, it was just a rollercoaster of ups and downs battling doubts within my headspace. My pregnancy from a physical standpoint was a little bit rough. I don't know. I just felt like my body was old and not functioning well. I was the person that couldn't tie their shoes towards the end. I couldn't wear any rings because all of my fingers were so swollen and everything. It was just a rough pregnancy physically compared to my first, but also, just dealing with the mental aspect of everything, I would be super confident one day that I'm going to do this and I'm going to have this home birth– not even a home birth, but just have a VBAC. Like, “I can do this. We were made to do this,” and then the next day, I'm like, “What am I doing? Who wants to do this? Maybe I should just sign up for a C-section again.” Meagan: Just all over the place emotionally. That's so real though. So many of us doing that. One day, we're like, “Yes.” The next day, we're like, “What am I doing? Is this right?” and questioning ourselves. Jaime: Yep. Yeah. 100%. So I really went into this birth. I tried to protect my energy as much as I could. I didn't tell a lot of people I was trying to have a home birth because it was already enough trying to do a VBAC. It was already weird enough. I'm like, “I don't want to tell everyone what I'm doing. No one needs to know what my birth plan is besides the people that really matter.” I read a couple of books that I felt were really pivotal for me. One was Birthing From Within by Pam England. I didn't even finish the whole book. I got through one chapter but it changed my life because, in the beginning, she says that every woman has a question that needs to be answered before they can birth their child. You might find your answer to your question during pregnancy or you might find it in transition or you might find it when you're about to push the baby out. She basically was like, “What is your question? When you think you have your question, you have to dig a little bit deeper because that's probably not your question. Your question is underneath that question.” So I spent 7 months trying to find my question and at the end of it, it felt like it wasn't so much a question, but I felt that I was punished anytime I tried to go outside of the norm of what society deemed normal. That was my big, pivotal thing where I was like, “Wow. I can do this. That is a lie believing that I am going to be punished for trying to do something abnormal.” There was another birth, Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage by Rachel Reed. The whole beginning of the book was talking about “herstories”, so history but for women, “herstory”. Rachel is a medical doctor. She is an MD and I felt like this book wasn't super crunchy and it wasn't super medicalized. It was very much right in the middle which I felt was what I needed to hear. I didn't feel like she was biased in one way or another but she laid the facts out of where we started to how we got to where we are now within the birthing industry. It helped me to realize. I knew this already going into it, but it helped me to realize that I actually had really deep-rooted, preconceived ideas about what birth was just from how I've grown up in the society that I've grown up in watching movies, listening to stories, and all of the stuff that we just see on TV. Birth is this crazy thing that happens. The woman is always out of control. The doctor is always there to save the day, all that kind of stuff. I was like, “Wow. I have these opinions of things that aren't even my opinions. They've just been given to me from movies and society and culture.” It really helped to weed through some fear that I was having realizing that I don't have to have this anymore. I don't have to believe this because it's not my story. It's not even real, actually. It's just culture. So those were the two big things. And then obviously, I found your podcast. I also started listening to a free birth podcast. I had no desire in my life to ever free birth ever, but I had read something on Instagram that was like, “If you're preparing for birth, prepare to do a free birth so that way, you are aware of everything that could happen and what you can do to go through obstacles or you know the steps and the phases that you'll go through when you're in labor.” So basically, be overprepared even though you're going to have people there to help you. That helped a lot. I just listened to everything I could about any positive experience of someone having a VBAC. I hired a doula not for any other reason other than it would increase my odds of having a successful VBAC. I still joke to this day that I have no idea what a doula actually does, but I hired one. It helped me have a VBAC, I just think, by doing that. I was just doing all of the things that I could come up with to try and get my head in the right spot and to set myself up for success. I did The Bradley Method with my first daughter and Bradley Method is like a 12-week course if you're not familiar. It is hours long so it is very in-depth. But I found this lady on TikTok and I took her virtual train-for-birth class. Her name is Crisha Crosley. It was, I kid you not. I think it was an hour and a half and it was the most informative thing I've ever done. It helped me. The whole premise is “Train for Birth” so movements and different things that you can do to become ready to birth your child, to get the baby in the right position, pushing, how to push, and different things to do while you're in labor so when I actually went into labor, she was in the forefront of my mind of, “Okay, I can't stay in this position for too long. Let me go to the bathroom every 5 seconds. Make sure I'm drinking my water,” lots of movements when I was actually in labor. It was all because I took that class. It was amazing. That was around 38 weeks when I took that class. My brother and his wife, so my brother, Michael, and Ashley came when I was around 40 weeks because Ashley was going to help with Eloise during the birth. All in between that, I'm curb walking. I'm on the ball doing figure 8's. Just to backtrack a little bit, when I hit 37 weeks just to give you an idea of where I was at, I went to Costco and ran into one of my midwives. She's like, “How are you doing?” Because I'm like, “I'm so depressed. It's 37 weeks and I haven't had this baby.” I just was in my brain, I'm like, “Okay, it's 37 weeks so it means I can have the baby when I haven't had the baby yet. I need this baby out of me. It's time to go.” She's like, “What? You're depressed?” I'm like, “I'm kidding, sort of. But yeah, I want to have this baby.”Meagan: You're like, “I really just wish I could have this baby right now.” Jaime: Yeah. Yes. So yeah. We're nearing the end. My brother and sister-in-law come around 40 weeks to help with Eloise. Delaney, the new baby, was LOA if that's right. She was on the left side. Meagan: Left occiput anterior. Jaime: Yeah. I think the optimal is ROA. Is that correct? Meagan: Well, it really depends but LOA– so it moves the uterus usually clockwise. LOA is really good actually because then they just kind of go forward and down. But it all depends on the shape of our pelvis too. Some babies need to enter a ROA position. Some of them need to actually enter posterior which is frustrating that we have posterior in any sort of labor, but sometimes that is how. So yeah, LOA is a really great position. Jaime: Okay, then she must have been the other way. She must have been ROA and I was trying to get her to go to the left, LOA. Yeah. I was trying to do movements to give her some space so she could turn. The midwife told me that the right side is okay, but the optimal would be LOA because it's just easiest. When you said posterior, that reminded me that I was actually very nervous about back labor because I had felt like every podcast I listened to where someone was having a VBAC, all they ever talked about was back labor so I was just terrified of it. On top of doing a VBAC, if that's not hard enough, I'm going to deal with back labor and all of this stuff. That didn't happen to me at all. I had no back labor so it was perfect. In Tennessee, my midwives were licensed by the state. They cannot help me past 42 weeks due to their licensure. We were nearing the end. I had a clock ticking. My brother and Ashley were here which was stressing me out, not in a bad way, but I was kind of under a clock if that makes sense. I'm like, “I need to have this baby because they are here and then I need to have this baby because I'm nearing 42 weeks and at that point, I'm either going to be a crazy person and do unassisted which doesn't make you crazy, or I'm going to have to go to a hospital. Those are my two options because I can't do it with them.” Then she wanted me to do that test where they test for movement, heart rate, and practice breaths or something like that. I needed to do that in my 41st week just to show if something happened early 42 weeks, that it was okay for me to birth at home with them still. I scheduled that for Friday, so September 2nd. I reluctantly scheduled it. I was like, “Fine. I'm just going to put it on the books and see what happens.” Then my brother actually had to leave on Sunday to go. My brother leaves on Sunday to go do an interview. Delaney is born on Thursday. I scheduled that test for the next day on Friday. The next Sunday was my 42nd, so that was my hard out if that timeline makes sense.Meagan: Yeah, yeah. Jaime: Michael, my brother, left to do an interview that they scheduled for him that Monday then he was going to come immediately back. He's like, “If I miss this birth, I'm going to be so mad.” Then Sunday, Ashley and my husband and my daughter, and I went to the splash pad. That was the first day I had a contraction where I was like, “Oh, okay. Something is happening.” I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to be put under a clock or to feel pressure to have this baby when I wasn't ready or anything like that. I just kept to myself. I had a couple of contractions Sunday and then that just led to me having contractions every single night. It was all night, every night and then it would die off in the early, early morning. Meagan: Prodromal labor. Jaime: Yeah. I'd get a few hours of sleep so I'm just getting exhausted. I told Ashley actually maybe Monday or something. She woke up Tuesday and was like, “So, did Jaime have any more contractions?” She was asking my husband. I didn't even tell my husband this. My husband was like, “She was having contractions? What are you talking about?” I literally kept everything. My lips were sealed. I kept everything to myself. I texted my midwife on Tuesday. So Sunday I had no sleep. Monday, I had no sleep. I texted her Tuesday and I'm like, “Hey. I've been having contractions. Nothing is sticking around. Everything stops. I have nothing all day and then it starts again at night.” She's like, “Cool. Nothing to worry about. Everything is normal. Sounds good. No big deal.” My brother did make it back because he came back Monday evening so he was here for everything. Then Wednesday was my absolute breaking point. Wednesday comes. Michael and my husband go shooting and then the girls, all of us, go to this park just to hang out. I had a massive contraction as we were leaving that stopped me in my tracks. I literally just hung back and I'm like, “Yeah, you guys just keep walking. Go ahead and I'll just meet you there in a second.” I'm just stopped in the middle of everything. Ashley, my sister-in-law is like, “Okay.” They just keep walking to the car and then I catch up later. She's like, “So I think we want to go to the grocery store to get some stuff for dinner.” In my head, I'm like, “I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it.” I'm emotionally at the end of my limits and then physically also, the contractions were intense, but it was more an emotional thing where I'm like, “I can't do this again. I'm going to have another sleepless night. It's already starting. It's 5:00. This is awful.” We go to the grocery store and it was my full focus just to not have a mental breakdown and start hysterically sobbing in the middle of the grocery store. We go. I make it through and we get home. I immediately go upstairs just to be alone. I put a movie on to start watching and have these random contractions that happen. Looking back, it's funny because in the first stage of labor, they always say that the woman goes into a cave and wants to be alone. In my brain, I was ready. I'm like, “I'm going to pay attention so I can see the signs and make sure that I know I'm going into labor.” It never once crossed my mind that I was entering a cave to be by myself. It never crossed my mind. I just was thinking, “I'm going to have another sleepless night and I'm drained emotionally.” I think I cried, then dinner was ready. It's 6:00 so I go downstairs. I shovel dinner into my mouth and then have another massive contraction at the table. I sit there silently then I'm like, “I'm going upstairs.” I run back upstairs and literally, I put this movie back on and I'm in hysterics. I'm sobbing uncontrollably. I just don't know that I can do this again. I get very crazy when I don't have any sleep. I just was future thinking about how this night was going to go where I'm going to have these crazy contractions and then I'm not going to sleep on top of it. I was just a mess. I go back upstairs. I have a couple of breakdowns. I'm extremely exhausted. I started timing my first contractions around 7:06. Not my first contraction, but my first timed one where I was like, “Maybe I should see what's happening here.” Delaney was born at 1:20 AM so it was six hours from start to finish basically. Meagan: Wow. Jaime: Nothing was consistent whatsoever. I'm upstairs with the peanut ball doing all of the moves trying to go through the Miles Circuit to make sure she's in the right position and all of that stuff. I texted the night midwife. They have a 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM and then a 7P to 7A so depending on when I went into labor is who I'd be talking to. So I texted the night midwife around 8:30 with a picture of my contractions, my timed-out stuff. I wanted to take Benadryl so I could go to sleep. I'm like, “Is it okay if I take Benadryl? Will I be okay? I just don't know if it picks up, am I going to be exhausted and trying to push a baby out?” She's like, “No. If you take a Benadryl and you actually go into labor, you're going to be fine. Trust me.” I was like, “Okay.” She's like, “Take a bath then if things slow down, go to sleep. Try to get some rest. If they don't slow down, call me and let me know.”So I took a bath. Nothing really happened. I kicked my husband out of the room multiple times because I just wanted to be by myself. I don't think I let him stay until 9:30-10:00 at night. I was waiting for these clues. I lost my mucus plug. I don't even know if this is accurate but in my brain, that meant I was around 3 centimeters. My husband was like, “Do you want me to call someone?” I'm like, “No. I'm 3 centimeters if anything so I've got 24 hours of labor to go. I'm in trouble, basically,” is what I was thinking. I was waiting for my bloody show which meant I'd be 5 centimeters. Again, I don't know if that's accurate but that is just what was in my brain. Almost immediately after I lost my mucus plug, within an hour– it felt way more immediate than that– but within an hour, I had bloody show happening all over the place. My doula was an hour away. I'm like, “Okay. Fine. Call the doula.” This is me caving to my husband. I'm like, “Call the doula. She's an hour away so just have her come, I guess.” He calls the doula and in my brain, I'm like, “I hope I'm still in labor when she comes here.” I just was very nervous that everyone was going to get to the house and then I was either going to stall out or this wasn't really it and then they're all going to leave and I had wasted everyone's time or they're all just sitting around twiddling their thumbs watching me go through labor. I did not want that to happen at all. But he calls the doula and talks with her. She says, “Okay.” Then he calls her again. She hears me in the background and she's like, “Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm on my way.” So that happened. I'm telling Matt. I'm like, “Can you go fill up the tub, please? Not so I can have a baby in the tub but just so I can get some relief,” because again, I'm thinking I'm going to be here for many, many more hours. He calls the midwife and tells her that the doula is on the way just to give her an update. That's probably around 11:30. She was like, “Okay, great. Let me know when you need me to come.” He goes down, fills the tub up, and then comes back upstairs. Again, time is lost in this space. He comes back upstairs, calls the midwife again, and the midwife hears me in the background and she is like, “I'm on my way,” and then just hangs up. She was only 30 minutes from us, so she hears me and she's like, “Oh my gosh. I'm coming.” At that point, I'm trying to go down the stairs. It takes me three full contractions to get down the stairs. Matt's talking to the doula. She's like, “Does she feel pushy?” I'm like, “I don't know what pushy feels like because I've never done this before.” At some point on the stairs, I felt Delaney change position. I don't really know how else to say it, but it just felt like she dropped down and was right there. I'm still not thinking I'm about to have a baby. Even that, I'm just like, “Okay. I'm in it for the long haul here.” Meagan: Right. Jaime: I finally get down the stairs. I get in the tub again, just to find relief. I'm not trying to have a baby here. Matt's trying to make a smoothie. I'm chaotic. I was not a calm laboring person. I was very loud. At this point, when the bloody show happened, I stopped timing the contractions at 11:32 PM. At that point, I was just like, “Forget it. I don't care.” But then when the bloody show happened, it was one on top of another on top of another on top of another and I had no relief, nothing whatsoever. It was wild. I get into the tub. I'm yelling every time a contraction comes. Matt's trying to make a smoothie and I'm yelling, “I need you here right now.” My daughter is crying because I'm being so loud. I get into the tub and I had three contractions in the tub. On the second contraction, I push her head out. I'm just like, “I'm having a baby.” The coolest part about it was that there was no fear. It was very natural, very primal. I never for once thought, “Oh my gosh. No one is here yet and I'm pushing this baby out.” I get her head out and my brother is right there. He sees the head and he's like, “Jaime, the head is out. You've got to push the rest of the baby out now,” because he's thinking that the head is out and she's drowning underwater. I'm just like, “No. It's okay. It's okay.” I have all of these things in my brain from what the midwives had told me. I'm like, “Okay. So I birthed her underwater so I have to stay underwater. I can't get out and go back in.” I have all of these things going through my head. The next contraction comes and she's out and on my chest. No one was there except my brother, Ashley, my husband, and my daughter. The midwife walked in literally one minute after she was born, then the doula ran in, and then the assistant ran in. Meagan: The whole team, boom. Jaime: Yeah, so it was one after another and everyone walks in with their jaws on the ground like, “What just happened?” I'm like, “I don't know. We just had a baby and here we are.” So that's my VBAC story. I did it and it was great. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It would have been nice to have a team of people there, but that wasn't how it was supposed to happen. It worked out perfectly. Meagan: That's okay. Yeah. I'm so glad. I love how your brother is like, “Uhh.” Jaime: It's time to go. You've got to get the rest out. Meagan: Yeah, but you would see that and that would make sense. Jaime: Yeah. Yep. Meagan: Oh my gosh. I love that. So first of all, huge congratulations. Jaime: Thank you. Meagan: So awesome. So, so awesome. And yeah, let's talk about overcoming your fears. Talking about your first birth, CPS, all of the things. Yeah, you have options. Oh yeah, let me tell you my options. Go. Leave. You have no options other than to leave. Jaime: Yeah. Yeah. Meagan: So much surrounded it that could have carried forward in this next birth. What are some tips for the listeners that you would give? You were reading. You were taking this course. What other types of things would you say are some key components to overcoming your fears and getting to the point where you were literally birthing– not alone– but you were here birthing alone? You were like, “I've got this. I'm strong.” So yeah. Any tips that you have?Jaime: Yeah. I mean, for me, I would suggest really, really, really protecting your energy and what that looks like– not even watching a movie with a crazy birth scene in it, not talking to people who have opinions on how you're going to birth your baby, just trying to stay within the scope of healthy, positive stuff. Even some of the Instagram accounts will give you statistics and they are trying to be helpful, but sometimes reading those statistics send you on a spiral so it was just really trying to hone in and stay close to what you know to be true, focusing on the fact that you want to have this VBAC, that it is safe to have a VBAC, and everything else just kind of block it out. Unless it is a positive experience, don't listen to it. Don't talk about it. Just focus on yourself and what you're trying to do. Meagan: Yeah. Hold onto what's important to you because yeah. There is a lot of outside static. Like you said, right here at The VBAC Link, we are guilty of posting statistics, right? Statistics can be very helpful for some and it can be something that creates fear or angst as well. If you know that that is not something that can keep your space safe and will cause angst, then yeah. Like you said, don't read it. Don't look at it. Jaime: For sure. For sure. Meagan: Put it away. If you're wanting to know those numbers to make you feel better, okay then there you go. If you're wanting to not hear any– we've had listeners who are like, “We couldn't listen to any repeat Cesarean stories because they were not what we could have in our space.” That is okay too. You can filter through. Some people are like, “I wanted to know all of the possible outcomes.” You've got to find what is best for you and like you said, protect your space because your space is what matters. Jaime: For sure. Meagan: Oh, well thank you so, so, so much for being with us today and sharing with us this amazing story. Totally unexpected. I bet your team was just freaking out driving. Jaime: Thank you for having me. Yeah. Meagan: I wish we could have had a dash cam looking at them or even just there to see their pattern of driving. I bet they were weaving in and out and really, really, really rushing to you.Jaime: That's funny. Meagan: But like you said, it all worked out how it was supposed to be. All was well and here you are sharing your story and inspiring others. Jaime: Thank you. Well, thank you again so much for having me. I hope it helps. Meagan: Oh, it will. It will. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today's guest: Dr Rachel Reed is a midwife, academic, author, and international speaker who focuses on childbirth physiology, midwifery practice, and women's rights (and rites). She has provided midwifery care for many women and has attended births in a wide range of settings and circumstances. Rachel is the author of the award-winning blog MidwifeThinking and the co-host of The Midwives' Cauldron podcast. She has published widely in journals and magazines, and her first book Why Induction Matters is a popular resource for women and care providers. Her most recent book Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage: weaving ancient wisdom with modern knowledge will be published early 2021. Further information about Rachel and her work is available at www.rachel-reed.website. and….she's just delightful.    I find myself getting sucked into her blog archives for hours at a time, and for today's episode I decided to ask her about several topics that she covers quite wonderfully there.  I know you're going to deeply enjoy this episode.  With that, let's jump in!    Show Notes:   Big Babies Most women having homebirth in Australia have “big” babies, and they're not scary.  In hospital, however, it can be a different story.  If a doctor diagnoses a mother with a “big baby” on ultrasound, it can begin to cause stress and fear for her. Dr. Reed mentions that the research does not separate healthy, normal big babies from those whose mothers have gestational diabetes.  These babies tend to have bigger shoulders and can have more difficulty coming out (though most of them come out just fine, too). “Big babies don't scare me, but what people do about big babies does scare me.” Women who are told they have a big baby: C sections, tearing, poorer outcomes are more likely— so it's the outside causing the problem. A care provider's fear of the big baby can cause many of the interventions   Gestational Diabetes as a label— fairly nonsensical If there are abnormally high blood glucose levels circulating, that does impact the baby and potentially the birth.  However, the blood glucose levels being used are not evidence-based In Australia, around 17% of women are now labeled as a gestational diabetic. When Dr. Reed was training, we only tested those who had risk factors. The issues with challenge tests: it's an abnormal test— many pregnant women are not drinking sugary drinks, so the tests results can be very off.   VBAC- Mountain or Molehill?  Is this as dangerous as the medical community seems to happen? Research related to this is mixed with those who are having inductions and those who are not— when we remove those who are having inductions, we see the already small number of issues become all the smaller. Statistically a

Welcome to the biggest episode yet! Well not really, but we have met a milestone I couldn't have fathomed 3 years ago on 20th July 2020.  It has hit home what has happened over this time and how this 'little' podcast has grown into something really fantastic. And this is due to my dear friend Dr Rachel Reed, our amazing guests who have so kindly donated their time to come on, and to all of you who listen in each episode and make the effort to share it, talk about it, grab a bit of merch to promote it, those of you who have financially supported the show and also those of you who have written in with your stories which have often bought me to tears. I am humbled and really bloomin grateful. This is a bonus episode just for you. You will not hear anything about birth, midwifery, or breastfeeding! Be warned! This is a listener special where we asked you guys for your questions about us!So what will your lug'ols be filled with today? ·      Katie's story of a bag of crisps called Keith·      Rachel dancing to Oliver Twist ·      How surprisingly we both chose very similar people to invite to our dinner party!·      But don't talk to Rachel about bananas or pineapples·      We reminisce on going clubbing together from 11am on public holidays in Newcastle upon Tyne, in the UK. ·      We let you in on what we got up to at our midwifery university graduation·      And finally … how Katie got chased by a lion. Should make for good listening… not educational listening at all, but if you are up for being told a story or two then grab a cuppa and sit down with us in this special episode!Support the show Please support the show via Patreon or BuyMeACoffee MERCH here! Music Joseph McDade Like this podcast? Leave us a review here Want more from Katie and Rachel? Katie's website Rachel's website DisclaimerThe information provided on this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute medical or legal advice; instead, all information available on this site are for general informational purposes only. The Midwives' Cauldron podcast reserves the right to supplement, change or delete any information at any time.The information and materials on the podcast is provided "as is"; no representations are made that the content is error-free. Whilst we have tried to ensure the accuracy and completeness of the information we do not warrant or guarantee the accurateness. The podcast accepts no liability for any loss or damage howsoever arising out of the use or reliance on the content.

Rachel is one of our OG clients! She signed up for 1:1 coaching NOT to get her period back, but to KEEP her period. She knew that she needed guidance and accountability to overcome old habits and ingrained thoughts that were holding her back! One of her biggest struggles to overcome, was the reality that she needed to eat past the "recommended 2,500 calories".Getting your period back is great... but consistently ovulating is what leads to improved health for women with hypothalamic amenorrhea! Enjoy!TEMPDROP DISCOUNT: Linked hereRestore Your Fertility Program, apply for your spot here! Doors close June 16th. https://www.thehasociety.com/restore-june Join The HA Societyhttp://thehasociety.com/joinWork 1:1 with us to get your period backhttp://thehasociety.com/coachingVisit us on YouTubehttps://youtube.com/c/danisheriffFollow us on IGhttp://instagram.com/thehasocietyhttp://instagram.com/danisheriffhttps://instagram.com/ashley_marie_smith_https://www.instagram.com/rosay.way_wellness/The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-hypothalamic-amenorrhea-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We talk a lot about the day you give birth, but it's about so much more than that! It's about not only your physical health, but also your mental and emotional health. It's about how you're made to feel and how you are supported. It's about your baby, your family, and community.  Today's episode is inspired by a quote from Rachel Reed's book Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage and it's something Hollie and Cheryl are both passionate about. Birth is a life changing event for everyone involved and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Invest your time, energy, and resources into preparing for this big day!   *As an Amazon Associate, Birth Boot Camp earns a small amount from purchases made with these links.

In this episode, we meet Briana Mum of three, two boys and one little girl and lives in Virginia, USA. Briana planned for a homebirth with first baby, had a great experience. Had pre-term labour at 31 weeks and baby came around 37 weeks. The birth was straight forward around 9 hours and baby was born at home. Second baby everything was going to plan up until 20 weeks and during that time she was looking at houses and she was hit in a car accident. She ended up suffering from a placental abruption and she was rushed to hospital. She found out her baby's heart rate had decreased dramatically. She was put under GA and rushed into surgery in a bid to save her baby's life. Unfortunately, her baby didn't make it. A devastating loss. She had a classical C-section and was told that any other babies need to be born via C-Section. With baby three Briana looked around with supportive midwives for a homebirth and couldn't find anyone. She was told by many that it was "too risky" and encouraged to birth in hospital. She was unsure during her pregnancy if she would vaginally birth or have a repeat C-section and at 31 weeks she decided to have a VBAC in the hospital and was seeing midwives for antenatal care. She started to learn about physiological birth and then felt like hospital birth wasn't the right path. She started to research it further after seeing some Instagram videos and posts and completely changed her mind about her birth environment. She did not inform the midwife of the change of birth plans and continued with the antenatal support and appointments. Briana went into labour around 40 + 5 and she planned to labour alone as much as possible with a friend who planned to come & support her around 7 pm. Within 30 minutes of her friend arriving her waters broke and her body started pushing and her baby was out. Briana said it was the toughest labour and intense from the start, but one of the best birth experiences she has had so far. Enjoy this episode, Ashley x Resources from this episode: Special Scars, Special Hope FB Page Follow Briana on Instagram Undisturbed Birth with Dr Sarah Buckley Podcast Episode listen here Instinctive Birth with Dr Rachel Reed listen here More from Ashley Join me in my new Group Mentoring and snap up early bird pricing here Join our VBAC Homebirth Support Group here  Insta: @ashleylwinning

Perioperative pain management in horses is a field that is still growing and there is much to be learned. In this episode, we are building upon our previous conversation with Dr. Rachel Reed, a boarded veterinary anesthesiologist from the University of Georgia, who has primarily focused her research on opioid use in horses. During this discussion, host Dr. Bonnie Gatson and Dr. Reed explore the last few years of research integrating opioids into the perioperative pain management plan in horses. Together, they will consider the challenges of pain assessment in horses following general anesthesia, epigenetic implications of behavioral changes observed with opioid administration in this species, using buprenorphine and fentanyl patches in horses, and why you should consider using hydromorphone as part of your perioperative anesthetic plan. Don't miss this incredibly insightful discussion on how we are progressing towards optimizing pain management in this understudied species!This episode is a continuation of our previous episode on opioid use in horses. Please listen to that episode if you have not done so already.If you have questions for Dr. Reed regarding her pain management research in horses, she can be contacted at rreed@uga.edu. Below are a few links to some of her more recent research manuscripts on the clinical use of hydromorphone and fentanyl patches in horses:Pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics of hydromorphone after intravenous and intramuscular administration in horsesA retrospective evaluation of the effect of perianesthetic hydromorphone administration on the incidence of postanesthetic signs of colic in horsesThe pharmacokinetics of a fentanyl matrix patch applied at three different anatomical locations in horsesIf you like what you hear, consider becoming a member of the North American Veterinary Anesthesia Society (NAVAS) for access to more anesthesia and analgesia educational and RACE-approved CE content.Thank you to our sponsor, Dechra - learn more about the pharmaceutical products Dechra has to offer veterinary professionals, such as Zenalpha.You can expect a new episode on the 15th, or just after, of each month.If you have question about this episode or if you want to suggest topics for future episodes, please reach out to the producers of this podcast at education@mynavas.org.Special thanks to Chris Webster, Saul Jimenez, and Maria Bridges for making this podcast a reality.

Up to now on this podcast, we have been focusing our attention on new analgesic and sedative agents for dogs and cats. But what about horses? For this species, it seems like pain control is a mix between science and art, as robust pain management studies seem to lag behind smaller companion animals. Luckily, there are brilliant researchers out there helping to move the needle forward on pain management research that is desperately needed for this species. In this episode, host Dr. Bonnie Gatson is joined by fellow boarded veterinary anesthesiologist and Clinical Associate Professor at the University of Georgia, Dr. Rachel Reed, to discuss her research in utilizing different types of opioids in horses. Together they will discuss the challenges of utilizing full-mu agonist opioids, like hydromorphone, morphine, and meperidine, in horses and why, perhaps, you should consider adding this powerful group of analgesic agents to your balanced analgesia protocol for equine patients. And if you have no interest in horses as a species, stick around to learn more about opioids as a class of drugs, which can be applicable to any species that you typically work with!If this episode has you wanting more, stay tuned for the next episode, where there will be an update on some of the pain management research that Dr. Reed alludes to in this episode.If you have questions for Dr. Reed regarding her pain management research in horses, she can be contacted at rreed@uga.edu. Check out her book on Equine Anesthesia and Pain Management.If you like what you hear, consider becoming a member of the North American Veterinary Anesthesia Society (NAVAS) for access to more anesthesia and analgesia educational and RACE-approved CE content.Thank you to our sponsor, Dechra - learn more about the pharmaceutical products Dechra has to offer veterinary professionals, such as Zenalpha.You can expect a new episode on the 15th, or just after, of each month.If you have question about this episode or if you want to suggest topics for future episodes, please reach out to the producers of this podcast at education@mynavas.org.Special thanks to Chris Webster, Saul Jimenez, and Maria Bridges for making this podcast a reality.

Susannah takes the driver's seat for this special International Women's Day edition of the Drive Podcast. After a quick wrap with James on what surprises have sprung from the latest sales figures, Susannah is joined by Rachel Reed, committee member of Women in Automotive about the inspiring women in all corners of the industry and the many opportunities that exist, before talking to Samantha Johnson, Managing Director of Polestar Australia, about her own journey, experiences and insights. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's episode, Amanda evaluates the research on IUGR ( Intrauterine Growth Restriction) and SGA ( Small for Gestational Age). We also take a look at how accurate the diagnosis of IUGR and SGA is and how parents can make an informed decision when presented with a possible IUGR/SGA situation. Amanda is a pharmacist turned birth and women's health educator, whose own traumatic first birth experience motivated her to get educated about physiologic birth and informed consent. She is passionate about moms and birth workers truly understanding the options when it comes to birth - including interpreting research - and what truly informed choice looks like. Amanda has over 18 years of experience interpreting medical literature, and 2.5 years of experience being the mom of daughters for whom she hopes to change the outlook of women's health and maternity care. Links Referenced: www.letsbuildyourbirth.com Consequences of misdiagnosis of intrauterine growth retardation for preterm elective cesarean section Labor Induction: Risks, Reasons and Results with Dr. Rachel Reed, PhD Dr. Stu's Podcast #199: What They Say & What it Means Intrauterine Growth Restriction: Identification and Management SGA Review of the Research for The Birth Cafe Podcast Instagram @buildyourbirth  Access your FREE Guide on mastering 5 Techniques to Conquer the Fear of Birth. As a bonus, discover a collection of mindfulness tools curated to quell anxiety and fear during pregnancy and childbirth. ⁠Grab Your Guide⁠. Live long, loud, and in prosperity-dear members of the "RebelBirth Crew."  Until we cross paths again, thrive unapologetically! ⁠Instagram⁠  ⁠Website⁠  ⁠Submit a Topic⁠  ⁠Be My Guest⁠ Discounts NEEDED Prenatal Supplements: FRUITOFTHEWOMB for 20% off one-time purchase orders or the first three months of the one-month subscription option.    FullWell Prenatal & Fertility Supplements Use Code FRUITOFTHEWOMBBIRTH for 10% off ​ Christian Hypnobirthing Course Use Code: ANGEL for 20% off the course ​ MotherLove Herbal Products Use code Wombbirth15 for 15% off --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thebirthrebel/support

Ashley joins us today from Australia sharing her three birth stories and how she learned to truly trust herself. Driven out of the hospital due to discrimination and not being able to find support from home birth midwives, Ashley decided to go for a free birth. With a special scar, two previous Cesarean surgeries, a big baby, a high BMI, and a history of gestational diabetes, Ashley accepted all of the risks and was able to reap the beautiful benefits of undisturbed home delivery. Ashley shares with us her journey to acceptance when things didn't go the way she planned, but also how to persevere through to fight for the story she wanted. She now hosts The VBAC Homebirth Stories podcast and is a Homebirth/Freebirth Mindset Coach inspiring other women to have the courage to take back control of their birth stories!Additional LinksAshley's InstagramThe VBAC Homebirth Stories podcastHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode DetailsFull TranscriptMeagan: Hello, hello. Welcome to The VBAC Link. This is Meagan Heaton and we have Ashley here with you. Can I just tell you? She is amazing and you're going to want to listen to this episode 5 million times and then when you're done listening to it 5 million times, you're going to want to check out her Instagram and watch her videos 5 million more times because she is amazing and such a wealth of knowledge. We reached out and said, “Hey, we want to share your story on the podcast. We think it's going to be an amazing episode.” I don't think. I know it's going to be an amazing episode. Review of the WeekBefore we do that, I'm going to get a review per usual and remind you that if you would like to leave a review, we are on Google and Apple Podcasts. You can email us. Shoot us a message on Instagram. We love to add your reviews to the queue and read them on the podcast. This specific review is from Ana Neves and it says, “I've been preparing for my VBAC ever since my C-section, and listening to the stories in this podcast has not only taught and informed me all about the different options, but also inspired me. I know that when the time comes, I will be prepared and feel the power of the great and courageous people who shared their stories here.” Oh, I love that. “The great and courageous people.” Oh, I love that. I love that so much. Thank you so much for sharing your review and like I said, if you have a review to share and you want us to know how you feel about the podcast and all of these great and courageous people, please leave us a review. Ashley's StoriesMeagan: Okay, Ashley. I am so excited that you are here. It's been interesting from now in recording, we've had Australian people on the podcast a lot. It warms my heart and makes me so happy and makes me feel like I probably need to go to Australia now because one, I am obsessed with all of the knowledge you guys have on birth and I actually really like the way that birth is in Australia in a lot of ways. But I am just so honored to have you here with us. Ashley: Thank you. I am so excited to be here. That was such a beautiful, warm welcome so thank you very much for having me. Meagan: Yes, oh my gosh. I'm serious. I just love listening to you too. I just love your guys' accents. My Utah accent is pretty lame, but yeah. So let's turn the time over to you. I am so excited because I feel like I've heard little things, but I'm excited to just hear it right now with you. Go ahead. Ashley: Okay. So let's start from the first babe then. Basically, I went into that one expecting that I was going to have a vaginal birth because my mum had vaginal births, and all of the women before me did too. My mum had me in 7 hours. I was the first baby. My sister is two, so mum said, “If you have medication, you're weak. You've just got to suck it up.” So I had this, “If she could do it, I can do it.” I had this, “I'll have the epidural if I need it” sort of vibe. A lot of my friends had babies before me. They had children when they were 17-18. By the time I had mine, I was 28. I was newly married and I had watched all of my friends. They told me all of their birth stories and things. They had all had vaginal births. I thought that Cesarean birth was really for celebrities basically because when I was in high school, it was Posh Spice who was having this C-section and things like that. It was a trendy thing to do. It wasn't something that normal people did. It was an expensive thing that rich people did. Meagan: Like in Brazil. That's how it's viewed in Brazil. You are high-class if you have Cesareans. Ashley: Yeah. I mean, I went to the GP before I got pregnant and checked on my levels to make sure. I have always had a high BMI, so the doctor said to me, “The only thing I recommend is that you lose some weight because you might struggle to conceive,” so I went in knowing that there may be a hardship there. Some of the women in my workplace at the time had multiple miscarriages. My mother-in-law had 7 before my husband, so I went in with that kind of, “We'll see what happens, but it could take a while.” So I conceived within the first month of trying so that was a shock, but also so exciting. Super exciting. It was a month before my wedding, so I got sick just after my wedding for my honeymoon and all of the fun games and after that, I was just like a sloth dying because I got HG. I got HG and it was just 20 weeks of basically a challenge. Meagan: Yeah, miserable. Ashley: It was hard. I was so excited to be a mom. I couldn't wait from the time I conceived to birth the baby and have the baby in my arms. That's all I wanted. I went to the hospital and there was a bit of a mix-up between when I went to the GP and had the GTT, the test for gestational diabetes. The doctor told me that I didn't have it. I went to a hospital because that's what they do. You go to a GP and they just send you to the local public hospital and that's the one that you are allowed to go to, but they didn't really discuss any of the other avenues like private, or midwives, or homebirths or anything like that. So I went excitedly to my first appointment. I waited for over an hour and I saw some random gyno-obstetrician and they said to me, “You've got gestational diabetes so you'll be seeing us.” I was like, “No I don't. I don't have gestational diabetes.” “Yes you do,” she said and I burst out crying. It was this big thing. Basically, the difference was if I had birthed or if I had gone to the hospital in Brisbane which is the next suburb over, I wouldn't have had gestational diabetes but in the hospital that I went to, they were up with the times with the lower numbers because that was cycling at the moment. It was 2014. I had gestational diabetes and that meant that I had so many more appointments. It meant that I was only with obstetricians. It meant that I had to go to nutrition or a dietician. It was just so many appointments. It was out of control. From a very early stage, I was told, “You're going to be induced and you're going to be on insulin.” As soon as I was diagnosed, I was told, “You're going to be on medication.” Meagan: No talking about it. Ashley: “Yeah, let's see how this unravels and we're not going to start you on the pill, we're just going to go straight to insulin for you,” so it was kind of like they had already decided my fate. I was really excited to have an induction. It meant that I got a date for my baby and I was going to have my baby early. When I spoke to the other ladies in the GD who were getting induced, the lady said to me, “It's all good. I was induced and I had my baby in 5 hours.” I was like, “Awesome. Awesome.” I don't know what number baby that was for her because when it comes to induction, I know now that it really matters whether it's your second or if you've had a vaginal birth before, then an induction probably isn't going to land you with a C-section. I ended up getting my date, coming into hospital, and having no discussion. I kept asking, “Can we have a birth discussion?” It was always, “Next week. Next week. Next week.” There was no discussion about what happens at birth or really what to expect or any niceties or anything. It always felt quite cold. It was like the people didn't even want to be there, the junior obstetricians, it was like they were doing their time so to speak. It just wasn't a pleasant experience. I was expecting my first baby and I just felt like another number. Meagan: Yeah. It wasn't warm and fuzzy at all. That's for sure. Ashley: No. I just felt like it didn't feel right. It just felt really not nice. Meagan: Yeah, impersonal. Ashley: Yeah, exactly. I basically went in for my induction and my husband came in with me. That was a couple of days of having gels and people putting their fingers up and continued monitoring and just very uncomfortable. I found after they had done all of that process that my cervix was right shut up. It wouldn't open up. They said, “Okay. We are going to try and put the balloon in there.” That was the most excruciating pain. Meagan: Especially when you're not dilated. Ashley: It was excruciating and I was in so much pain. The doctor and midwife made out that I was making a big fuss because I was responding that it was painful, so they gave me a lot of gas and I was pretty much tripping out. It was really trippy. Meagan: Like nitrous oxide?Ashley: Yeah. I just felt like if this is how painful it is to put this thing in, how painful is labor going to be? How am I going to handle that if I've just been through two days of this? I think that I had a cannula in my hand as well because I couldn't really go to the bathroom without assistance from my husband. It was really getting uncomfortable. I had something up inside me. Meagan: Or poking you or something all of the time. Ashley: Yeah, exactly. So another night in the hospital we slept and then they said, “If it doesn't open and it doesn't drop out by the morning, then we'll talk about it.” I wasn't allowed to eat. I had to fast. Meagan: That's going to serve your body well. Ashley: I know. It's really cool. It's like they give you so much amazing care in the hospital to set you up for this amazing birth, and I woke up and it was still in there and nothing had changed. I felt really defeated and I felt like my body was broken like there was something wrong with me. Nobody had ever discussed or told me that there is a high failure rate to this or that this procedure can fail or that you may not be a great candidate for this procedure. Meagan: Or more time. More time can make you a different candidate statistically and raise your BISHOP score. Ashley: Yeah, they obviously did the BISHOP score and they would have seen that I wasn't a good candidate for this. They would have known that when they did all of these things to me. Now I see that as my body is so amazing that you tried to do all of this stuff to my body and my body was like, “Hell no.” Meagan: Nope. I'm keeping this baby in. Ashley: Clam shut, yeah. The junior doctor came in and she said, “Look. We recommend that you come in tomorrow for more monitoring. Go home and come back on Monday and we'll start the process again.” I was like, “What do you mean you're going to start the process again? This was really torturous.” I said, “What's the difference between a day or two? My body's not going to respond any differently. Can I just come back in two weeks?” I'm 38 weeks at this point and I'm like, “I'm not even 40 weeks. Can I come back in 2 weeks when I'm in labor?” Meagan: And a first-time mom.Ashley: Yeah, because my mom had me and my sisters right on 40 weeks, so I'm just expecting the same. She said, “No. You can't.” I was like, “Oh, okay.” She said, “No, you can't do that.” I said, “Okay.” She said, “You know what? We're just about to have an obstetrician meeting, so I'll go in there and I'll ask the consultants what they think and I'll come back with a plan.” “Okay,” I said because she also did talk about my option of being a Cesarean on the Monday and I said to her, “Look. I'm going to be honest with you. There's no way in hell that you're going to get me to come in for elective surgery. It's just not going to happen. I never wanted to birth like that and I don't want to.” She came back and she said– they obviously spoke about what I had said and they made for me later a plan to push me in the way they thought that I was going to bend the most, so they said, “Look. We've bumped all of the surgeries for the day and we're going to book you in as priority because we feel like you should be having this baby now.” I was kind of like, “Okay.” So they were bumping all of these surgeries. There were people sitting out in the waiting room waiting to have their babies, but they were going to bump me to have my baby first. I had my sister in the room who was a surgery nurse who had been pushing me to have surgery the whole time because she was traumatized. I'd been fighting her the way through like, “No. I don't want to do that. I want to have a vaginal birth.” I was so exhausted and my husband only had 5 days off of work, so he had to return in a couple of days. I had my in-laws at my house babysitting my dog and I was promised a baby. I feel like at that point, I was just like, “Okay, well if that's what you think, then okay. I'll do it.” I signed this 3-page waiver form by the way, which I was really scared of. I was like–Meagan: What am I doing? What am I signing?Ashley: My sister is getting me prepared. She just finished a shift from working upstairs in nursing and she organized for herself to get in there, so it was going to be my husband and her. They never allowed a third person, but because she worked there and knew people, she was able to weasel in. She's getting me ready like a good nurse. She's so excited. She gets to be a part of it and I'm just recording a video of, “If I die, tell my baby I love my baby.” I am so petrified. I've got video and photos and I just look at the photo and it's like me trying to look excited, but actually, I'm like, “Holy crap. This is really scary and I don't want to do this.” Meagan: Why is everybody so excited and I'm terrified? And why is no one talking to me about this? Ashley: Because I'm giving up control. They're not getting the knife, but I am. It's really scary if you've never had surgery. It's not something that we do every day and it's not something that I had ever gone through before. So off I go into surgery and it's really good that my sister was there because she got to take a lot of photos and she got to be a part of it. Meagan: That would bring some comfort maybe. Ashley: Yeah, I felt like they would step up a bit as well because they knew that it was one of their own in there and I was one of their own. She took a lot of photos and things like that, but when they were doing the spinal, no one can be in the room. I just remember feeling so petrified and shaking and looking into this big man's eyes who was holding me and thinking, “You look like a nice man. Keep me safe.” This midwife came around and she was like, “You look like a deer in headlights” because it was like all of these lights shining down at me. I'm in this crazy room with surgery stuff. I'm really scared. I'm petrified, but I went through the whole process and the obstetrician and everyone, it was Christmastime. It was early Christmas. It was December 5th and they were all having their Christmas party that night, so they were all very happy talking about the Christmas party. “You're going to the Christmas party? I'm going to the Christmas party.” I thought, “Well, they're not fast. They're not stressed. They're very happy. They're starting their day. I'm the first one. They're excited about the Christmas party.” It didn't feel very personal. I definitely didn't feel included in the process. They were just talking among colleagues. Meagan: I can so relate. So relate. Ashley: It's horrible. Meagan: Yeah. They were talking about the snow outside and how depressing it was because the one just gotten back from Hawaii. He was like, “Oh, I came back to snow.” I was like, “I'm right here. Can we talk about my baby? Can we talk about me?” Ashley: Yeah, it's very impersonal. I mean, it's one thing at the dentist to be chatting it up. I don't mind it at the dentist if they're chatting or something, or the orthodontist or something, but yes. I thought, “At least they're calm.” The baby was born in no time and then announced, “It's a baby girl.” I just thought, “Oh, can I go to sleep now? I'm not really interested in this. I'm very time. I'm shaking. This is not a great experience.” I just turned around and said, “Can I go to sleep? I don't want to hold the baby.” It's uncomfortable anyways, but I can't really hold the baby. I'm shaking. I've never really had that many drugs in my system before and off to recovery we go basically. That's a new experience as well. Yeah, it wasn't a great postpartum experience in the hospital. It was quite a negative experience with the night midwives, so I was really excited to get out. I left a day early because I just did not want to have to put up with the night staff. My husband wasn't allowed to stay. Meagan: Oh, why? Ashley: So in our hospital in the public system, some of them have got 4 or 5 to a room, so I was in a 4 or 5 to a room. They don't allow husbands to stay. I couldn't get out of bed. Meagan: I didn't know that. That's like old school.Ashley: It is old school. A lot of them are getting upgraded now because obviously, it's better to have your own room and stuff, but that's where I was lumped. No one wants to birth there because no one wants to share a room, but if you're in the catchment, that's where you get stuck unless you go private. So he got booted out at 10:00 at night, and then I was left with this witch of a midwife who every time my baby cried, she was like, “Oh, look. You're just going to have to sleep with the baby on your belly because I can't be coming back here to get the baby all of the time.” I was like, “But it's not guidelines. I'm not allowed to sleep with my baby with my chest. I can't sleep and it's stressing me out.” In my head, I'm saying those things, but yeah. It was horrific. The next morning, my husband came and I was letting loose at him. I was like, “Why weren't you here? The baby and I haven't slept.” I was so stressed. I mean, think about it. Being awake for 3 days, having been in the hospital for a long time, and then having gone and had major surgery, you're left on your own with this baby with barely any support. No one telling you what to do, trying to breastfeed with your nipples getting ripped by the way. Meagan: Pretty much abandoning you. Pretty much. Ashley: Basically. So the second night, I stayed and sorted that out, then I went home the next day. I did have a bit of a thing with the midwife. She was on again, so I ran down to the bathing room and I hid from her because– okay. One thing you should know about me is that I am a highly sensitive person, so something that someone might say to someone may not affect them as much as it would affect me. Meagan: It triggers you. Ashley: It really upsets me and being in a vulnerable position, I need someone who's gentle, nurturing, and loving. So I ran away and I hid in the bathing room with my baby. I was trying to work out why she was crying. I had fed her. I swaddled her. I changed her. I was really trying to work it out. She could hear the baby screaming and obviously thought that I was not looking after my baby. I said, “Look, I'm just trying to figure out what's happening here.” She's like, “You just need to hold her.” I was like, “No, I just need to figure out what's happening because I've got to go home with this baby and work this out.” She's like, “Why don't I take the baby and I'll look after the baby so you can get some sleep?” I'm like, “No. That's not happening.” I was so against this woman. She was like, “Here's your medication. Take your medication. I've been looking for you,” and then she sent another colleague down to come and check on me and try to convince me to give the baby up. But what I discovered by sticking to my guns and doing what I felt was intuitively right for me was that my baby was pulling her arms out of the swaddle and that was waking her up. So I put her in a little zip-up and from then on, she slept through the night. My husband came the next morning right on the dot. I had a shower. Baby was sleeping. He's like, “Where's the baby?” I'm like, “She's sleeping,” feeling like a million dollars. “I've got this. I've got this and we're checking out today.”Meagan: Yep. Get me out of here. Ashley: I went home and we struggled with breastfeeding. I got some really bad advice from one of the nurses that came to my house so I felt like a double failure. By 6 months time, I was mixed feeding to just formula feeding and I felt like a real failure. I let her down. I hadn't birthed her the way– I didn't feel like I birthed with, “When I had my baby,” or “When my baby was born.” I didn't say “When I birthed,” because I didn't feel a part of the experience. It happened to me. It wasn't inclusive to me. I just felt completely excluded. So I knew when I was going to have my second, I was having a VBAC for sure because I knew there was a thing possible. I knew about VBACs and I said to my GP, “What's the timeframe between babies?” She said, “24 months between birth and birth.” That was the thing then or whatever. I said, “Fine. I'm having 24 months.” I literally started trying within 24 months, whatever it was, 15, or whatever. I fell pregnant the second time. I was having a VBAC and I think I joined the VBAC group in Australia. I started learning all of the stuff, becoming informed and advocating. I knew that this time I wasn't having an induction because that's what caused me a C-section. I knew that I wanted to try to avoid GDM because that's what I thought was the lead-up for the induction rush. I didn't realize that my weight was obviously pushing against me so much. I didn't understand the reasons why or some of the discrimination that happened in the hospital at that point. I did the early GTT test and I passed that. I was like, “Yes. Maybe this is going to be different.” I'm going to show them. I'm educated. I know what I want. I'm informed. I'm also a people pleaser so I'm trying to get them on board with me. I'm trying to get them to agree with my decision. I'm trying to get them to be a part of my team and cheer me on and get excited.I'm just kind of getting met with obstetricians who were like, “VBAC is great and it's the best way to birth your baby.” I'm like, “Yes. This is amazing.” Meagan: You're like, “Thank you. This is what I want to hear.” Ashley: “But not for you.” I'm like, “What? Not for me?” “Well, for you, we recommend a planned Cesarean.” “Okay.” They never really spoke in plain language or explained it to me. It was only through digging and digging and digging and asking and asking and asking that I was finally able to get some answers. I essentially ended up getting gestational diabetes at 20 weeks, so then I wasn't allowed to see midwives because I had asked to see midwives and they said, “If you get GD, we won't release you.”Meagan: It disqualified you. Ashley: It disqualified me from seeing midwives. I said, “Look, you're a surgeon. Can I just see you if I need surgery?” The thing with GD is that there is a GD counselor and somebody that you report to outside of them, so why do I need to see you because you're not a GD expert or specialist? I actually see somebody. Why is a midwife not capable of looking after me? It doesn't make any sense. They're just trying to pull in all of the patients to keep their bellies full and make sure they've got jobs. I was gutted. I was absolutely gutted. I only failed by .1 on one of the tests and I wish I had known back then that I could have redone it and I probably would have passed it. It was really disappointing and I was like, “Oh, goodness me.” So I was diet-controlled through that time. I say diet-controlled because that's the readings that I gave them. I wasn't really diet-controlled but I was being a bit of a rebel because I was getting the same numbers as I was with my first baby and I was on insulin with her and insulin didn't do much. I thought, “Well, what's the difference going to be if they're the same numbers? She came out healthy and had no sugar problems or anything.” I kind of started to think, “Is this GD thing a bit overrated? If I was in a different hospital or a different country—”Meagan: I was going to say if you went somewhere else like last time, would it have been different or would it actually have been GD as well? Ashley: If I had gone somewhere different and I knew this because I was part of the GD community and I had friends that were birthing in Brisbane who were even having to keep below higher numbers than me. They had much higher numbers than me, so I thought, “You're with a private obstetrician and you're getting different information than me,” so I started to clue on that. And then also, when I was doing my readings on my fingers, I would get a different reading on this one to this one, so I started questioning, “If this one's .5 difference to this one, how accurate is this measuring?”Meagan: Yeah, interesting. Very interesting. Ashley: So it was very scary for me to do that because nobody's doing that and every time you're going there, they're like, “Dead baby. There was a woman who had gestational diabetes and her baby died.” And I was like–Meagan: You hear these and you're like, “What?” Ashley: I was like, “How did she die? How did the baby die?” They said, “Oh, we can't disclose that information. You're telling a room full of women with gestational diabetes that a baby died and the mum had gestational diabetes. She could have been hit by a car for all we know and you're using it to fearmonger us, but you're not willing to tell us how the baby died. It could have been negligence on the hospital's part. It may not have been GD related at all.” Meagan: Yeah, she just had it. Ashley: She just had it, so I found that quite disgusting and all of those things started to really add up. The more that I saw in the VBAC community, the more that I saw this was happening around Australia, the more I was determined to advocate and fight which is really hard for a highly sensitive person, but I got a student-midwife. I got the head midwife to come to my appointments. I had a student-doula who was a dear friend of mine and I started to grow a team around me. I refused to see one of the doctors at one point and wanted to speak to the best, most amazing doctor in the hospital, so the midwives set me up with the nicest obstetrician who still didn't support me to have a vaginal birth, but he was nicer to deal with. I mean, I had some crazy conversations with some of the obstetricians during that time. One of them was a junior and she said to me because I didn't want to have continuous monitoring. I just wanted to have the doppler. She said, “You know what my boss says? He says that if you don't have continuous monitoring, then you're basically free birthing in the hospital.” I looked at her and I was like, “You're crazy.” At this point, free birth to me was crazy and she was telling me that because I'm in a hospital and if I'm not doing that, then I'm free birthing. And I thought, “But I'm getting checked with a doppler by a midwife. I'm with obstetricians.” That is absolutely insane, but it goes to show the kind of mentality and the thought process that goes through the fact that they don't know how to be with women. They don't know how to observe and watch a woman. Now, my mindset is the complete opposite way. I see things in a different light than how they would see. They rely on machines whereas they don't rely on that connection. I'm the type of person that relies on human-to-human connection and I've listened to people and I love stories. That's how we learn. We don't learn about humans by watching machines. I started to learn about the inaccuracies of their machines and some of the equipment that they were using. It made no sense to me to have continuous monitoring when I knew that one obstetrician would send me to surgery for the reading whereas another one with maybe more experience who may be older and more chilled would be like, “Yeah, that's nothing.” If the results are at that rate, then that's not beneficial to me because then I'm putting my fate on whether I get a choppy-choppy obstetrician or a chilled, relaxed one on the day. So that was kind of my thinking. I didn't do growth scans this time. I didn't see the point in me having a growth scan to tell me that I was having a big baby. My first was 3.7 at 39 weeks. I knew this one was going to be 4 kilos and I said, “Look, I'm happy to birth a 4.5-kilo baby out of my vagina,” which is almost 10 pounds for your listeners and they just wanted to do Cesareans on 4-kilo babies as well as inductions. It was always about induction and I found out the reason why they wanted to do induction. They wanted to manage me. They weren't a tertiary hospital, one of the bigger ones, and so I found out that the junior obstetricians wouldn't be comfortable doing or maybe confident or capable of doing an emergency Cesarean on someone of my size, so I said, “That's fine. Just send me to that hospital or that hospital. Let's just do this. If it's a staffing issue, I don't want to stretch it out.” They just laughed at me. It can't be a big deal then, can it? If they're not willing to send me to a different hospital. We had so many conversations and it was anxiety-inducing. I would cry on the way to the hospital. I would cry on the way home. I'd have to get my fight on and I even had a conversation with an obstetrician that said to me, “We'll fight about that later.” I said, “That's exactly right though isn't it? It's a fight, the fight.” Meagan: Yeah, we'll fight about that later. That right there. Ashley: He goes, “Oh, I didn't mean fight. I don't mean fight.” I go, “Yeah, but no. You do.” Meagan: But you just said that. Ashley: But you do. Meagan: You're like, “Yeah, I can tell that you're not agreeing with me and you're telling me that if I want something else, I'm going to have to fight with you.” Ashley: And so I'm hearing about this informed consent and I'm like, “Informed consent.” I'm fixated on what would get them to be on my side. I've learned about informed consent. They legally have to support me, right? But that is just the fast in my opinion, in my experience, they wouldn't know what informed consent or working with a woman, it just blows my mind. I didn't realize that at the time, but there were a lot of conversations that were happening about my weight. “You're not going to be able to. It's harder for bigger women like you.” I would leave conversations thinking, “I'm not going to be able to birth my baby out of my vagina because I'm big.” Meagan: They were shaming you. Ashley: Yeah, basically I was told by an obstetrician that, “She's not a fatist, but—.” I was like, “I've never heard someone say ‘I'm not a fatist.'” I don't even know what that means. I had some really interesting conversations because I was asking questions and I was asking questions because I was asking so many questions. Every time I went to an appointment, the obstetrician would say to me, “Ah, I see you're having a repeat Cesarean,” and that would spike adrenaline. Read my book. Read my book. You would know that I'm having a VBAC and then, “Oh, well do you know the risks of VBAC?” Yes, I do. “Oh, you really do know the risks, but we still recommend that you have a repeat Cesarean,” and I would have to go through that every single time. Meagan: So discouraging. Ashley: It was a nightmare. By 36-37 weeks, I had received a phone call and they said, I could feel the smugness and a smile through the phone, “Oh, we're not willing to take the risk. You're going to have to go to a different hospital.” I was just horrified. I was so scared. I've just been kicked out of hospital because nothing has changed with me.”Meagan: But because I won't do what they want me to do and I'm being stern in following my heart. Ashley: Yeah, because I won't submit. I've told you from day one what I'm going to do, but I suppose the rate of success with that tactic is probably 99%, I'm probably the 1% of women who actually says, “No. I actually will not fall for your trickery.”Meagan: Yeah, okay fine. I'll leave. Ashley: I was so determined, so then I went to a different hospital and it was a newer hospital. They had birthing pools. I was hopeful that I might get in a birthing pool. You get your own room in the postpartum. I was excited. They had informed consent signs. The receptionists weren't fighting each other. This first one that I went to was pretty rough down there. They were lovely and polite. I thought, “Oh, this feels nice. Maybe I'm going to have a different response,” and I did. I saw an amazing midwife on entry. She was like, “If they're not going to allow you to do this, you advocate and you can make a complaint. That's disgusting how you were treated.” I thought, “Oh, wow. This is the best thing.” I saw an obstetrician. They were supportive. They wanted to do some of the same things, but they respected me. I felt like I was seen as a human. They would ask me questions and they would go and ask a consultant and the consultant would agree with me. I was like, “Wow, I am ticking boxes here.” I made some compromises because I was vulnerable. I did a growth scan and they found out that baby was about 4 kilos. Meagan: Like you already guessed. Ashley: I knew that at 39 weeks. I said, “That's fine.” “Oh, we recommend induction.” I said, “Yeah, I know you do. I'm not doing it.” That's what caused me the C-section last time. I'm not doing it. We went through the study at 39 weeks. I said, “That doesn't apply to me. It doesn't apply to me. I'm not in that study. It doesn't mean anything to me.” I don't know how you can have a study saying that it's going to work better on someone at 39-41 because you're not doing the same people. You're not doing induction on someone at 39 weeks and then going, “Hey, let's try it again at 41 or whatever it is.” You're doing different people. I don't want to know about it. I don't care about it. They said, “Okay, well I'll talk to the consultant. We'll look at the scan,” and then she came back and said, “Yep, you're fine. There's no fat on the shoulders, so yep. That's fine.” But if I hadn't said that, I would have been booked in for an induction, right? I would have just said, “Let's go, yep.” I sat there on the weekend with my husband shaking like a leaf again having to advocate for myself. It isn't an easy thing to do. Every time I have to raise my voice, I'm putting adrenaline into my body. I'm not raising like screaming, but I'm having to raise my voice. My baby would have been under attack the whole pregnancy essentially. I eventually get to the due date. A week before my due date– it was a couple of days before my due date– my midwife turns to me at the last appointment. She was training in the hospital last time, so I was really grateful that she was willing to come with me and support me even though she wasn't going to get her book signed off for this birth. And on that appointment, she said to me, “Look, my daughter's booked a holiday for me, so I'm going away on your due date. Are you going to have this baby soon now?” I was like, “Oh my goodness. You've just fought with me the whole time and now you've turned into them trying to get me to have my baby before my due date because it suits you.” Yes. I was heartbroken and I was so angry. I decided then and there I was not going to invite her into my birth space even if it was sooner because she had betrayed me on every level. I went into that appointment and the obstetrician didn't recommend it, she said, “Do you want to do a cervical stretch?” A sweep and I said, “No, I don't.” I turned to the midwife and said, “What do you think?” She was like, “Yeah, why not?” Of course, she said that because it gets the baby out quicker. So again, you've got to be careful about who you're with because if you're relying on people who've got a different agenda, you've got to take their advice or their opinion with a grain of salt. But I was a little bit interested myself. I'd never had a stretch or a sweep like that before. I was a bit interested. I was worried that I was going to go over due dates and I was willing to wait for 40+10 and I was getting a bit stressed like, “Oh, what if it goes longer?” You start to freak out at that point. There's a bit of pressure and with what I'd been through, I had the stretch and sweep. She said, “You're 3 centimeters and you're stretchy.” I was like, “Wow. Wow. Last time, they couldn't even– I was closed up.” Meagan: Get a Foley in. Ashley: Yeah. So I was so excited. I started to get some niggles and lose some mucus and a bit of blood and things like that. Two days later, I went into labor. She said to me, “If it does nothing in the next couple of days, then the baby wasn't ready to come. If it happens, then the baby was always going to come,” sort of thing. Now, obviously, what's the point in doing them if the baby is going to come and it does nothing but disturb? I mean, my complete mindset changed and flipped. But yeah, I went into straight labor. I was so excited and so proud of myself. I'm in labor this time. I never knew if my body was broken after all of the fearmongering and talk. I was just so proud of myself. It was exciting. I had adrenaline pumping through me. I was shaking with fear and excitement. I was going to wait the whole day to go in. I was going to essentially go to hospital when my baby's head was coming out. As soon as I went into labor, I was like, “Yeah. I think I should go to the hospital.” I was adamant the whole time I wasn't going in until I was ready to push and as soon as I was in labor, I was like, “Yep. Okay, it's time.” Meagan: Let's go. It's exciting. You're like, “Okay, let's go have this baby.” Ashley: Yeah, and it was fast and hard. When I go into labor, it's not any prelabor, it's just that this is on. I dilate pretty quickly. When I got to the hospital, I was 5 centimeters. They were really surprised at how I was doing because I was quite calm and quiet. They were like, “Oh.” I got eventually into the birthing suite. My doula came and set up the room really pretty. I went into the shower and had a midwife assigned to us. She just sat down and read my birth plan and was happy with everything. She wouldn't let me in the birthing pool of course because I was over 100 kilos even though they've got a hoist for bigger people if they need to. They're just not comfortable with bigger people in the birthing pool. I just did my thing and I said, “I don't any doctors to come in. I don't want anyone annoying me or harassing me.” And I just labored for a few hours until I felt like there were some waters or something I could smell and feel. The midwife said, “Do you want me to check you?” I said, “Yeah. Yeah, we'll see if the waters have gone.” She said, “Yeah, the waters have gone and yeah, this is a little fore bag so would you like me to break that?” I said, “Well, if you think so, okay.” At this point, my education had gone to the point of getting past the induction. If I had gotten into spontaneous labor and I saw a midwife because everything was raving about midwives, I'm going to be fine. This baby's going to come out of my vagina okay. I didn't know anything about birth really. I just knew what not to do. I'm probably not going to have an epidural, but I'm open to it. You shouldn't break the waters, but I don't really understand why. But I wasn't having my waters broken. I was just having a little bit of my waters broken. And then came the tsunami and it was my entire waters. It was all over the bed and it was all warm. I was like, “What is happening?” She had either–Meagan: So your bag never really did break until then. Ashley: No, yeah. Yeah. Yes. And there's some other information. She's like, “Oh, we'll put the screw on the baby's head.Meagan: The FSC, fetal scalp electrode? Ashley: We call it the clip. Meagan: A clip. Ashley: Yeah, some call it the screw. I call it the screw. It's a little clip and it barely hurts. That was one of my compromises from not having continuous monitoring. I said, “If I have that, then I can be mobile.” That was the compromise and negotiation. Then, I found myself locked to a machine by the way because it wasn't mobile at this point. Then as soon as I got off the bed, there was a decel, so I was back on the bed. I was in excruciating pain at this point. I come out of my nest in the shower where I was able to breathe through everything and I was standing upright. Now there was a bit of fear happening because there was a decel that she didn't recover from quickly enough, so then the obstetricians and everyone had to come in. They were kind of like, “Oh, C-section,” talking about it already. I said, “No. I don't want to talk about it. The baby's fine. Just let me do my thing.” “Okay, okay,” and then they hounded me to get a catheter in my arm even though I didn't want one. I said, “No, I don't want one.” It's really painful and I don't want it. She said, “Oh, come on. We'll just get one in.” I said, “Okay, fine. Just do it then. Just leave me alone.” So she put it in and I'm walking around with this thing coming out of my vagina, this thing in my hand and I'm out of the zone and really finding it hard to get back into how I was feeling. Meagan: Your space. Ashley: Yeah, my space. I must have been in there for an hour or two, maybe a bit longer. By this point, they've told me that I'm 10 centimeters on one side, 8 centimeters on the other and there were a couple more decels and maybe one more and they were saying things to me that I don't understand. They were like, “You've got an anterior lip. It's swollen. You're 10 centimeters on this side and 8 centimeters on that side. Your baby's asynclitic. Your baby's up high.” They're looking at me and I'm like, “I don't know.” Meagan: You don't know what any of that means. Ashley: I'm 10 centimeters. The baby is going to come out right any minute. I'm just like, “Is the baby's going to come out soon?” I was starting to feel some pushy pains as well, so my body was pushing a little bit too and then I think I went back into the shower and I called in my husband because he was a weak link and I knew he would do what I said. I was like, “I want an epidural.” And the epidural was there within 10 minutes. I knew that would happen. They wanted me to have an epidural on arrival because of my said. I went to the anesthesiologist appointment and they looked at my back and said, “No, you've got a fine back.” What they're worried about with bigger people is that there can be fat over the spine. I said, “Okay, well I've got a fine back,” which I thought would be fine because I never had any problems with the C-section. They said, “But we still recommend an epidural on arrival.” I was like, “Okay. Well, at least I understand why.” The thing is that I'm trying to get information from them so I can make informed choices, so if it's in my best interest, then I will say yes and I will do it. But if it's in the best interest of you to make your life easier, then I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to put myself or my baby at risk to make your life easier. I understood that an emergency C-section was a higher risk than a planned C-section. I understood that induction was a higher risk. I knew all of the before things and the choices. What I got stuck with is I didn't understand physiological birth. I hadn't done any research on that. So they were talking to me gobbledygook, all of these things were happening. I just never thought that this could happen. I never ever thought this would happen to me. My mom had me in 7 hours. What is happening? What are these things that are happening? Now I'm on the bed. I'm stuck on the bed because I've chosen to have an epidural and now I've negotiated because we have had a couple of decels. I've negotiated for myself what I think is a pretty sweet deal which I realize is actually a really bad deal of vaginal examinations every hour. The normal standard practice is about every 4 hours and I'm like, “Okay. How about if we just check every hour and see if there is any progress?” They're like, “Yeah, that sounds great.” Every hour, they come into me and they're saying, “No change. Baby's up high. No change. We recommend C-section. These are the risks if you wait.” They were talking to me about the risks that would happen in a Cesarean, not about the risks that would happen in a vaginal birth if I wait. So it was very biased. I was like, “Okay, so what happens if I wait to have a vaginal birth?” They were like, “Well, we just recommend a Cesarean.” I feel like I'm in a room stuck with the enemy. I said to my doula, “I don't trust them. I feel like they know what they're talking about, but I don't know any different either.” My doula was a student doula and it's not like I came in there with a midwife who is on my team. I'm looking at the midwife and I'm like, “Are you going to help me?” I'm realizing that she's team obstetrician. I mean, I've never met her before. She was just working there. I'm thinking, “This is not what was sold to me in the VBAC group if I see a midwife. Midwives are amazing, blah blah blah blah.” What I actually missed was that independent midwives that are not working in hospital have more free reign are the midwives that everyone's raving about. I'm thinking it's just random midwives, any midwives are awesome. And not every midwife's awesome because you've got different personalities. You've got different experiences. You've got different passions and every person is different just like you can find an amazing obstetrician. You can find an amazing personal trainer, but they're not going to suit everybody or everyone's needs. And they have a bias against different people based on color, based on gender, based on size, based on the way that you look. If they can identify with you, they are going to be more attached to the story and fight and advocate a bit more. If they're not really into you, they're going to be like, “Oh well. I'm not going to lose my job over this,” sort of thing. I've learned all of these things since. Eventually, after about 6 hours, I had another decel. I think I had about 3 in total. It wasn't a huge amount. Meagan: Yeah, and how low were they? Do you remember? Ashley: I don't remember. The problem was that she wasn't coming back as quickly as they would have liked. Meagan: Prolonged. Ashley: Yeah, it was prolonged. I also didn't know at the time that the epidural also slowed down my contractions too. I only know this from getting the hospital notes which is quite common with epidurals as well. Eventually, I just said, “Okay, fine. I'm fine. I'll go.” After the last one, it felt like my baby was at risk. If someone is coming to you every hour saying, “This is the risk. We recommend that,” eventually, you just give up. I think I had been in labor for a total of 12 hours at that point. The first labor I had ever had and off I went. As I was going out, the midwife said to me, “It's okay. I had a home birth planned, but I ended up in a Cesarean. You'll be okay.” I was like, “See? You never would have been on my team because you hadn't even had a vaginal birth yourself.” I looked at her and I was like, “That was the worst thing you could have ever said to me at that point.” I was like, “Just because you had one and you're okay with it doesn't mean that I'm okay with it.” It was the worst thing. She obviously thought it was really supportive, but I felt so betrayed. So off I went and I had my surgery. Everything started to go downhill. My husband got rushed out of the surgery with my baby and you could just feel that it was intense. I said to my husband, “I love you. Look after the baby. I think I'm either going to lose my uterus or I'm going to die.” Meagan: Were you hemorrhaging? Ashley: Basically, the story that they tell me, I'm not sure if I believe it, but even if it is true, it is what it is at the end of the day. One of the risks that they were worried about is when a baby descends too much, there's a– you know this yourself– there's always a risk of a special scar happening because there's more risk of a tear or them having to cut more. So that's what they were informing me about the whole time. They knew about the risk and they were trying to stop– Meagan: But they kept saying that baby was high, right? Ashley: They told me that baby was high. They said that when the baby came out, she flung her arm up and ripped it down to my cervix. Meagan: Oh, okay. Ashley: Now, how does that happen when a baby is up high? If she's up high, how is she ripping down to my cervix? Now I think about that. How does that happen? Because my cervix was fully dilated. Meagan: Yeah, except on that one side. Did it ever finish? That swelling, that edema, did it go down? Ashley: Not that I know of. What they told me was nothing had changed positioning in that. Then when I looked at the notes when I got the notes, he laid out, “I saw that the positioning had changed.” She had come down a station, but they never communicated that to me. I have a feeling that she was probably down a bit further than they had put because, on the paperwork, they also said I was only 7 centimeters. There was no mention of an anterior lip, so they fudged the papers a little bit and weren't honest. I mean, if you're going to make a few little changes, then obviously, there's a reason for that. It obviously looks better on paper. Meagan: That's what happens all of the time. The patient will hear one thing, then on the op reports, it's a little different. So we always encourage you to get your op reports. It's sometimes hard to read but get your op reports. Ashley: It is hard to read. You know, they put it on the board too here in Australia what you are and at what time, so the information is there for me to look at the whole time while I'm in labor, so it's not that one person just said it, it's literally on the board for you to see. I was quite upset when I saw some of the notes. I went through the notes. I've been through them multiple times now and I was just trying to learn. I was Googling, “What does this mean and what does that mean?” because I don't know the medical jargon. I'm learning all of the things and I'm looking at Spinning Babies. I'm looking at everything and trying to learn after the fact, but essentially what had happened was apparently, she had flung around there, tore my uterus down to the cervix and then they needed to call in a specialized team to come in and resolve that problem that they had created. The surgery went on for a number of hours and it was a very challenging surgery. I wanted to crawl out of my body essentially because I had been laying there for so long. It was just a horrible experience. I was reunited with my baby. She was born at 6:30. I was reunited with them at about 12:00 at night, so I had been in labor from 4:00 in the morning and then I was breastfeeding her because my husband advocated for her to be breastfed. So that meant that she had her sugars checked. They were fine, so they were happy for her to wait for me. I was really, really glad that my husband advocated for me. I was so tired when I got out of surgery and I was back in this hot room. I was sweating profusely. There was no aircon. Some of the rooms, even though it was new, didn't have aircon. I ended up in a room with no aircon and it was so hot. I had to have a midwife stay with me and do observations every 15 minutes to check me. I didn't end up in the ICU, but I lost 3.1 liters of blood. I had blood transfusions in the surgery, all of the stuff in the surgery to keep me awake, and all of that. I really wanted to go under, but they wouldn't put me under because I had been eating. It wasn't a great experience and I came out very traumatized from that experience. I ended up having PTSD with flashbacks. I was crying for months. I felt broken. They told me to never have a vaginal birth again, and that I could have two more babies so that was amazing. I was like, “Well, you must have done a good job if you think I could have two more,” but they must be born Cesarean. I was like, “Okay, no problems.” I was so grateful to be alive after that experience. I was trying to make sense of what had happened. The next few years, that was my mission to try to make sense because I've gone from a space of you're not allowed to have a vaginal birth to what happened, trying to understand what happened, and then planning our future because we wanted four children total. So I almost never had any more children. For 6-12 months, I was done. I was never going to go through that again. I was a broken person. I was really struggling, but I trained as a postpartum doula and I started to want to help women in breastfeeding and the things that I knew that I could support because I ended up breastfeeding that baby for 12 months and I felt like a success at that regard. I learned a lot about breastfeeding. I wanted to share my voice and help women, but I wasn't well enough to help women in the birth space because I felt like a failure. I was trying to learn and I wanted to be in a space where I felt safe. This was trauma and challenges were happening and this was me being able to help people and make a positive out of a negative essentially. And then I found you guys. I found your podcast and I was like, “This is amazing,” because you were the first place that was promoting VBAC after two Cesareans. Back then, nobody was having VBAC after two Cesareans let alone multiple now that we see happening. I think a lot of it has to do with your podcast because when you hear women's stories and you hear the statistics and you can actually hear other women doing it, that was the start of me getting hope and realizing that there was another way. Meagan: Oh, that just gave me the chills. Ashley: Thank you so much for your podcast. Meagan: I have a sweater on right now, but literally it just went up my arm. Ashley: Awesome. It is really nice to know that if I didn't come across your podcast, I probably wouldn't have taken that next step, so it is life-changing to hear other women's stories and have that resource. The fact that you guys had the stats and everything, I was very much in the stats trying to move through special scars. I eventually had gone onto Special Scars, Special Hope. Meagan: Such a good group. Ashley: Yeah, so amazing and started to connect with other women who were having worse scars than me. They were birthing on classical scars. I was like, holy moly. I think it was ACOG or maybe RANZ of New Zealand and Australia. They said it was okay to labor on a scar like mine because I had a vertical scar down to my cervix. That's the low-risk special scar. I was like, “If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me.” Look at these people saying that. All of the obstetricians that I had spoken to because I had a meeting with an obstetrician. I had met with so many midwives who knew about the system. They said to me, “Look. They are going to be petrified of you coming to the system.” It was really good to get that feedback and from my own experience, they wouldn't allow me to have a VBAC let alone a VBAC after two Cesareans with a special scar and high BMI. I started to really try to uncover, so I met with an obstetrician from that hospital and she basically said to me, “Look, you're a square peg trying to fit in a round hole or a round peg in a square hole.” I looked at her. I didn't understand that. I had never that and I have never been referred to as that kind of person. I quite like doing what normal people do. I was looking at her. I'm like, “What are you talking about?” She just said to me, “Basically, I ended up with this surgery because the surgery who was working had decided that because of my weight, that that was all that I was capable of or that was the path that I was going through.” That was really the first time that I've felt like my weight has actually held me back or I've been discriminated against. When I look back at the fact of how I was treated and the conversations I was having, it was obvious that it was happening the whole way through, I just was so naive to it that it was happening in my face and I didn't even realize it because the thing is that I understand that being of high weight can put you at risk for all of these things. I'm looking at it from their point of view, but I'm not actually sometimes looking at it from Ashley's point of view. I understand their concern and I understood all of the medical stuff because I had listened to them. I had asked questions. I had read their policies for obese people. I understood that it was discrimination. I didn't understand it at the time. I didn't understand that they probably weren't seeing me as a human as maybe they would have if I was a skinny version of myself. We probably would have had a different conversation. They probably would have been cheering me on and holding my hand and saying, “You're an amazing VBAC candidate. We support you. We probably still want to do all of these things to you, but we're not going to kick you out of hospital.” That's the difference when I hear women's stories. Oh, she's allowed to get in the water bath and she's allowed to have a beautiful birth. She doesn't have to bend over backward and do a cartwheel and it's because she looks a certain way or she was really lucky because she got an obstetrician that was amazing. There are all of these things that have to line up. That's what has propelled me on my journey to find home birth as an option. Meagan: Home birth, home birth. So you talked about stats. You were on this mission of stats, so you went out and you found the stats about VBAC after multiple Cesareans, two Cesareans, special scars, found some stuff, said, “Okay, this seems acceptable,” and then you started a home birth. Based off of your own research, for you, you felt completely comfortable starting this journey. Ashley: No, I didn't. Meagan: Okay. Ashley: I didn't. I mean, I had to work through the fears with the stats and I was comfortable with home birth and the idea of home birth. I understood that home birth was as safe as birthing in a hospital and I understood that if I was birthing with a midwife I would have a medical person with me. Now, the next challenge that came for me was that I couldn't find a home birth midwife who would support me. I feel like I leveled up. I was leveling up the whole time. It was like, now you've got a VBA2C. Now you've got a special scar. Let's work through this. What do I feel comfortable with? What am I willing to take on? Okay, okay. That's doable. That's doable. I can work through that. What's the next thing? Oh yeah, the next thing is this. Okay, what am I going to do with that? A home birth. Okay, a home birth feels like a safe option. I can do this. I can do that. I can do that. Okay, that's going to be the best thing for me. I'm not going to go back to hospital. Meagan: I love that you said that. I can do this. I'm comfortable with this. You kind of have to go through that with anything. In life in general, but especially with this birth, you went through it and you were like, “Okay, yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Okay. Now, here I am.” Ashley: Yeah and I was seeing a psychologist at the time for all of the things to help me lose weight actually. My GP, I wanted to lose weight. I've been overweight my whole life. I wanted to lose weight. I went to a nutritionist and she was like, “You know everything. I think it's emotional.” I've got childhood stuff going on. I worked with him and I said, “The way that I feel about the hospital system, is this right?” He's normalizing my experience for me and saying, “You're perfectly normal.” I'm trying to say, “Am I having a trauma response here? I don't want to go into a home birth because I'm having a trauma response,” because the obstetrician said to me, one of them, she's like– she wasn't the best obstetrician for the debrief. She said to me, “You've got a risk of special scar, a 7% rupture rate.” I said, “That's a little bit different from what I found in Special Scars, Special Hope where they are looking at women.” I said, “Have you got any statistics?” She's like, “No.” I'm like, “So how can I trust that what you're saying is correct then?”Meagan: Well then, where'd you get 7%?Ashley: Exactly. She's like, “Look, if you find any doctor who's willing to support you, then they're not the doctor for you. I'm telling you what is the safest thing for you.” I was challenging her because at this point, I'm angry. I'm so done. I'm so done. I've just been through hell because of you people and I want to get information. I don't want to hear your judgments. She said to me, “If you find a doctor, then basically they're not right. They're doing the wrong thing.” I said, “So you're the best doctor in the whole world? You know everything right? You're the best and you know the best then? So if I find another doctor who says yes then they're wrong and you're right, that's what you're saying?” She was just looking at me. She was like, “I just feel like what you're going to do is you're going to keep looking until you're going to find someone and then you're going to put yourself at risk.”I'm like, “That is exactly what I'm going to do.” Meagan: You're like, “Well, I'm glad you feel that way.” Ashley: I should have sent her a postcard after my free birth and said, “I freebirthed. Thank you for driving me to this.” It is amazing the conversations you have when you really do have conversations. You can see where they're coming from and how very different their views are. Some of the fears and worries that they have are not about you and your baby. They are about themselves and their career, but the information I didn't know about her was that she was actually the head of obstetrics and she just lost her title and her job. She'd been bumped down. The reason why I went to her was because she supported breech birth in hospital and she was very vaginal friendly. She did support me. She was the consultant I saw on the paperwork that supported me to have a vaginal birth, but in the timeframe of me organizing to meet up with her, the information that I didn't know that I found out later was that she lost her job because she had supported somebody to have a breech and there was a poor outcome that the parents accepted, but somebody else had basically complained about. The only thing is that breech is so risky they say even though it's not. She's one of the radical obstetricians so she had been punished and so she was coming from a space of where she was. It's really important to know that information. You never know where they are in their career or how they are feeling, so she might have been really bitter at the time and negative and feeling like there was doom and gloom in the world. It was really shameful when I was speaking to my doula friends and they were like, “Oh really? She was so amazing.” I'm like, “Yeah, well maybe she is amazing but not for people like me. Maybe she supports this person because they've got a thin body and because of me, she's like, ‘No. I wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole,'” because it's too risky for her and for her job also. They are up against it as well in the system and that's something I have learned. My next mission was that I needed to find a midwife who was going to bat for me, not somebody who was going to be worried about losing their career because they come after the midwives too that are home birthing. So I had gone to the free birth podcast as well and I was listening to their stories. I was like, “They're a bit out there for me. I'm not brave enough to do that. That's a bit radical.” Eventually, my husband was the one that talked me into a free birth when we couldn't have a midwife to support me. It

Dr. Rachel Reed, PhD, author, midwife, researcher and expert in physiologic birth joins us for the second time on the Down to Birth Show to discuss the differences between physiologic birth and induced labor. She shares with us the different ways in which Pitocin/Syntocin impacts the course of labor, including significant risk to mother and baby, versus our own natural oxytocin. You'll learn the unique risks of Pitocin for first-time moms, and the entirely different set of risks Pitocin presents to women who've already given birth before. She explains the general risks of induced labor, and discusses circumstances when induction is absolutely necessary. In this episode, we critique the ARRIVE trial and its flawed results, which have led to many women choosing elective induction at 39 weeks believing it to be a safer option for mother and baby.  If you haven't heard it already,  be sure to listen to our very popular first episode with Rachel Reed. #150: Myth of the Aging Placenta with Author/Midwife Rachel Reed**********This show is sponsored by:Silverette USA*DYPER*Beautiful Births and Beyond*Postpartum Soothe*Baby Notebook - Get the App Here*Use promo code DOWNTOBIRTHConnect with Cynthia and Trisha at:Instagram: @downtobirthshow on InstagramEmail: Contact@DownToBirthShow.comCall: (802) 438-3696 (802-GET-DOWN)Work with Cynthia:Email: Cynthia@HypnoBirthingCT.com Text: 203-952-7299 to RSVP to attend a free information session live on Zoom. Upcoming dates are posted at HypnoBirthingCT.com. You can also sign up for our Fourth Trimester Workshop,  Breastfeeding Workshop or Cynthia's HypnoBirthing classes and weekly postpartum support groups at HypnoBirthing of Connecticut. Work with Trisha at:Email: Trisha.Ludwig@gmail.com for online breastfeeding consulting services or text 734-649-6294 for more info.We serve women and couples coast to coast with our live, online monthly HypnoBirthing classes, support groups and prenatal/postpartum workshops. We are so grateful for your reviews and shares!Please remember we don't provide medical advice, and to speak with your licensed medical provider related to all your healthcare matters. Thanks so much for joining in the conversation, and see you next week!Connect with us on Patreon for our exclusive content.Email Contact@DownToBirthShow.comInstagram @downtobirthshowCall us at 802-GET-DOWN Work with Cynthia: 203-952-7299 HypnoBirthingCT.com Work with Trisha: 734-649-6294 Please remember we don't provide medical advice. Speak to your licensed medical provider for all your healthca...

This episode is for all women who have given birth or are planning to! To all our Mamma's and future mamma's, on this episode of Wellness Women Radio we are joined by the incredible Dr Rachel Reed – author of “Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage”. Dr Rachel Reed is prolific in the birth Listen In The post WWR 229: Reclaiming Childbirth with Dr Rachel Reed appeared first on The Wellness Couch.

Today  (ibit.ly/Re5V) we talk with Rachel Reed about her journey into women's rights and rites, following the sun and writing bookshttps://www.rachelreed.website/@midwifethinking on insta@PhDMidwives #MidTwitter #reclaimingchildbirth  #beingadetective @usceduau Do you know someone who should tell their story?email me  - thruthepodcast@gmail.comThe aim is for this to be a fortnightly podcast with extra episodes thrown inThis podcast can be found on twitter - @thruthepinard, insta @thruthepinard and our website -https://thruthepinardpodcast.buzzsprout.com/ or ibit.ly/Re5VSupport the showDo you know someone who should tell their story?email me - thruthepodcast@gmail.comThe aim is for this to be a fortnightly podcast with extra episodes thrown inThis podcast can be found on various socials as @thruthepinardd and our website -https://thruthepinardpodcast.buzzsprout.com/ or ibit.ly/Re5V

In this episode, I talk about the mechanics of birth and why focusing heavily on this may not be the best way for you to acheive your VBAC Homebirth. Here's some of what I cover in this episode: What is the mechanics of birth? Why you don't have to focus so much on the mechanics of birth - It's important to have an understanding and trust in the process of birth so you understand undisturbed birth and instinctive birth - check out these podcast episodes: Listen to EP 12 with Dr Rachel Reed and EP30 Dr Sarah Buckley You don't have to do "all the things" Essentially you just need to have a vagina. I truly do believe that but of course, there is more to a story than having a body that is capable of birthing. Some of the mechanical things that can be helpful - but not needed to vaginally birth your baby: Spinning Babies Eating dates Any birth classes Pilates Walking 5 km daily Hypnobirthing classes Sitting on a yoga ball from the third trimester Birth positions Hiring a doula to help you birth in a homebirth: (is an intervention) For a homebirth you may like a doula to be present to help with practical things like massage, making sure you are nourished, setting up and packing down the birth pool and emotionally supporting you during birth. Most Doula's are trained to help intervene in a birth and suggest birth positions, use tools to help get the baby out sooner and coach women. In a homebirth, most of those things will not be needed. Sometimes they are helpful - but they disrupt the birth process and it's important to know when you want to use any, if any of those tools. What the mechanics of birth doesn't focus on is Mindset - and how mindset can set you up for your VBAC Homebirth: More confidence in your ability to birth Trust & belief in yourself Setting healthy boundaries (and enforcing them) Being able to voice your concerns during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum (or for life) Learning to calm your nervous system (so your not freaking out and stressed) - is great for people with high anxiety, perfectionists, and people pleasers) And the skills learned during pregnancy not only help in pregnancy to help you feel calm, but they can also help you in birth cope with the pain, and also in postpartum too with a newborn. They are lifelong skills that can help you feel more positive about your birth and life in general. If you would like support with your mindset connect with me to chat more! Enjoy this episode: MORE FROM ASHLEY: Get access to this free Homebirth Workshop here! Find out more on how I can support you + you can have me as your guide + biggest supporter - Click here! Join our VBAC Homebirth Support Group here Insta: @ashleylwinning Email: hello@themotherhoodcircle.com.au Ashley x

Welcome to Season 5 of the Finding Your Village podcast!Thank you so much for listening, in today's episode we are discussing how a difficult birth can impact breastfeeding and my guest to talk about this is Katie James. Katie James is a registered Midwife and Lactation consultant. She has worked for the last 20+ years in clinical practice and education in the UK, Australia, and of course now virtually all over the globe, supporting women through pregnancy and postpartum. Her passion lies in education, whether of women, their families, or student midwives and birth workers. Her specialty lies in the field of lactation and the postpartum period, as well as supporting young teenage pregnant women, women with alcohol , drug, and/or mental health issues during pregnancy. She currently produces and hosts the podcast The Midwives Cauldron with her co-host and old friend Dr Rachel Reed.In today's episode we are discussed: How difficult or traumatic births may impact breastfeedingTriple feedingIf you are experiencing any issues with breastfeeding, please seek out a lactation consultant“Put the baby in the kitchen” - Skin to skin contact is so important for newborns!How to get in touch with Katie: The Midwife's Cauldron PodcastInstagramHow to get in touch with me: Get the Postpartum Online Class!Follow me on Instagram and on TikTokFind other episodes at: www.findingyourvillage.com/podcastHabit MastersTake daily steps toward your biggest dreams by mastering the art of building habits.Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify The Zen (ish) Mommy Educate Empower Laugh ConnectA place where moms can slow down, be authentic, and take...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyUse code: FYVPODCAST to save 15% on the Postpartum course at www.pregnancytopreschool.netSupport the show

When journeying through pregnancy we tend to just hand ourselves over to our care providers, on whom we rely to tell us if we are healthy and well and what we should do to bring our babies into the world safely. But is this really the best way to be navigating pregnancy, birth and parenthood?Self trust is a vitally important quality in birth.How much do we trust ourselves to know what is going on for us.. and if not much, what can we do to cultivate a sense of self trust?Dr Rachel Reed (Midwife, Author, Researcher, Educator and Podcast Host) joins me to answer these questions and more.______________________________________________________________________________________Birth-ed LinksJoin free- BUMP CLUB- expert  week by week support throughout your pregnancyOnline Course from £40/$49Group and Private Antenatal/Hypnobirthing Courses with podcast host and birth expert Megan Rossiter______________________________________________________________________________________Dr Rachel Reed LinksThe Midwives Cauldron PodcastRachel Reed WebsiteMeconium BlogBig Babies BlogMidwife Thinking InstagramWhy Induction Matters BookReclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage BookSupport the show

In this episode we have Professor Helen O'Connell and we are talking all things clitoris!Professor O'Connell was elected Vice -President of USANZ in 2021. She was the first female Urologist in Australia and New Zealand, completing training in Melbourne in 1993 followed by a Fellowship in Female and Functional Urology in Houston, USA in 1994-5. Her doctoral studies in female pelvic anatomy have achieved international renown leading to significant conceptual changes in both medical and lay literature. Her higher degrees were conferred at the University of Melbourne where she became Professor in 2013 and Head of Department of Urology and Surgery in 2016. In 2014 Professor O'Connell became a Fellow of the Australian Institute of Company Directors, completing its diploma in 2011 whilst a director for the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons and Urological Society of Australia and New Zealand. In 2019 she led a successful Australian Government bid to establish the Australasian Pelvic Floor Procedure Registry to improve the outcomes associated with mesh SUI and POP implantation and explantation procedures. It is a collaborative effort with Monash University Registries, the Australian Commission for Quality and Safety in Health Care, the Therapeutic Goods Administration and leading pelvic floor surgeons and consumers. She has been Principal investigator on a large number of clinical trials for drugs and devices for overactive bladder, stress incontinence in men and women and benign prostatic hyperplasia. Her current clinical interests are native tissue pelvic floor repairs, minimally invasive approaches to pelvic floor mesh removal and benign prostate surgery. In 2021 Professor O'Connell was named an Officer (AO) in the Order of Australia: For distinguished service to medical education, and to medicine, in the field of urology, as an academic and clinician, and to professional groups.We asked Professor O'Connell to come and talk to us specifically about the clitoris in all it's glory. We learn about how medical training used to use pornographic images of the breast to teach anatomy. We discuss the nerves of the clitoris, what the anatomy textbooks don't tell us... Yet! Rachel ends up telling us about her broken clitoris! We ask about labiaplasty & FGM (female genital mutilation) and its potential impact on vulval stretching during birth. And how cultural sensitivity is essential to reframing our viewpoints. And we also ask Professor O'Connell how her work has influenced artists, sex therapists and academics in how we now approach things such as orgasm and our deeper female sexuality. And as Professor O'Connell quotes in the podcast "you are not literate until you are clitarate". LINKS:Prof Helen O'Connell Dr. Rachel Reed website, courses and booksMentioned in the show:SMH article - Get cliterate: how a Melbourne doctor is redefining female sexuality Giant infaltable clitoris facing Eiffel TowerSophia Wallace art Book - Female Genital MutilationSupport the show

This week Dr Rachel Reed, who wrote the book 'Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage' joins us on the show. Her book is a masterpiece which merges the history and ancient wisdom of childbirth with modern knowledge to offer a holistic perspective of childbirth. Join the "Healing Circle Group" to connect with like-minded people and be notified of FREE live-gatherings: https://bit.ly/3P5hqIc What we cover: Herstory of childbirth Key elements of childbirth as a rite of passage All births are a rite of passage Exploration of the physiology of birth Birth perceived as a medical emergency Feeling safe in your birth space Holding space for uncomfortable conversations Making informed decisions Surrendering to the body And much more..... Birth story: from one of our community members, Nancy J. Laudon (Find at 01:03:11) Awakening Woman. Transmute Ancestral Trauma (6 Week Journey) 50% OFF until 9th October 2022 50% off Prenatal Pregnancy Programme www.Danielle-Catherine.com Sponsor. Evolving Humans, Energy Healing Expert: https://evolvinghumans.com Music Credits: Aleider Bernal Cordoba --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/depths-of-motherhood/message

There are SO many misconceptions surrounding posterior babies/birth and today Midwife Em is joined by the amazing midwife, author, and educator Dr Rachel Reed to debunk some of those myths. Together they discuss what it means to have a baby in posterior position, what women should (or shouldn't!) do about it, care provider fear, and how labour and birth may look for women with a posterior baby. This one really flips what we think we know about posterior babies on it's head!If you want to know or see more from Rachel -Instagram: @midwifethinkingWebsite: https://www.rachelreed.website/ (this includes a link over to her blog which has such incredible information as well as her online courses)Books: Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage and Why Induction Matters

Rachel Reed is a midwife, author, educator, speaker, researcher, and consultant. My work focuses on childbirth physiology, midwifery practice, and women's rights (and rites). She qualified and registered as a midwife in 2001 after completing a direct entry Bachelor of Midwifery BSc (Hons) in the UK. She has practiced midwifery in a range of contexts in the UK and Australia including, hospitals, community-based group practices, and as an independent homebirth midwife. Her Ph.D. explored midwifery practice during physiological birth. Author of two bestselling books and the award-winning MidwifeThinking blog. Her writing has also been published widely in journals and magazines, and her publications have been cited in midwifery textbooks and clinical guidelines. 

Join me as I chat with midwife Rachel Reed about how birth has changed over time, the current issues both mothers and midwives face as well as birth activism and what we can do to make a difference.

In this episode, I am excited to be in conversation with the amazing midwife Dr Rachel Reed. Rachel is most commonly known for her blog 'Midwife Thinking' and is the author of two incredibly popular books, aswell as being the co-host of the brilliant Midwives' Cauldron podcast. Rachel is originally from the UK, but now lives in Queensland Australia.  She is a researcher, speaker, teacher, and consultant.  During our time together,  we chatted about a wide range of topics including - her blog, her books, physiological birth, midwives, student midwives, and the role of the birth partner. If you would like to find out more about Rachel, her links are below:- Rachel's website - https://www.rachelreed.websiteMidwife Thinking Blog - https://midwifethinking.comMidwives'Cauldron podcast - https://themidwivescauldron.buzzsprout.comIf you are pregnant, or have a pregnant relative or friend and would like to find out more about the role of the birth partner - then I recommend purchasing a copy of the book that accompanies this podcast:-Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner — https://bit.ly/LabourofloveOr purchase a copy via my website - www.birthability.co.ukFollow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner @birthabilityBook a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann  -  https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresfordPlease remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guest, based on her own training and experience as a midwife.  Any recommendations made may not be suitable for all, so listeners must do their own research before making decisions.  

In today's episode, I sat down with Oceana Hazut, a woman and a mother walking the path least traveled, as most would say! Oceana has spent the majority of her life learning about natural women's medicine, rituals and traditions of the womb, and healing ancestral lineages. She had always felt a deep calling to become a birth worker, and once she transitioned into motherhood herself, she began pursuing her work as a Holistic Childbirth educator. In this episode we dive into her motherhood journey, her birth story, the work she does with mothers, ancestral birthing and what that really means, as well as the natural hormonal physiology of birth - a topic which is extremely fascinating - and so much more! Oceana is a woman that walks the talk, and holds so much experiential wisdom. Having her on the podcast was such an honor, and I am so grateful to share this episode with you today! Enjoy! You can connect with Oceana on: Instagram: @Sacred.Earth.Motherhood Resources Oceana mentioned: - Dr. Sarah Buckley: https://sarahbuckley.com/ - Dr. Rachel Reed: https://midwifethinking.com/ - The Midwives Cauldron Podcast: https://themidwivescauldron.buzzsprout.com/ - Evidence based birth: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thank you for being here, I am so grateful for you! With love & light, V Make sure to subscribe and leave a review if you are enjoying the podcast! Connect with us: @mamamindfulco www.mamamindfulco.com

ANNOUNCEMENT! We will be podcasting LIVE at the IDIC Podcast Festival hosted by Women at Warp on July 17th at 3:30pm PT // 6:30pm ET. You can watch us streaming on Women at Warp's Facebook and YouTube pages (and we'll share the recording in our feed afterwards). We're back, with a baby this time! Congratulations and mazel tov to Ryan and her new baby

Today we have Katie! Katie is a lactation consultant and midwife with exceptional breastfeeding knowledge. She is also the co host of The Midwives Cauldron Podcast with Rachel Reed that I interviewed previously in this season. And it's such an honor to have her on for a bonus episode ALL about breastfeeding! She is giving you so much amazing information in an easy to digest format that will make a world of difference on your breastfeeding journey! Get your pen and paper out. You might want to take some notes! Curious about Katie? Find her on instagram as @themidwivescauldron

Welcome to Season 5! Today we have Rachel Reed. Rachel is a mum of two and a midwife and doctor of philosophy committed to the promotion of physiological birth and women's rights. She has just finished her book ”Reclaiming childbirth as a rite of passage: weaving ancient wisdom with modern knowledge” which I can't wait to read. And today we get to hear about her two birth stories (one medicalized one and one natural home birth) and take part of her embodied knowledge on reclaiming birth as a rite of passage. There are plenty of laughs in this episode and some real gems of birth wisdom! Curious about Rachel? Find out more at @midwifethinking on insta or her blog MidwifeThinking.