The Deeper Pulse with Candice Schutter

Happy Pride month, y'all! Please help me to welcome lifelong activist and Arizona Drag Show organizer, Christopher Jay Hall, to the pod. Earlier this week, Christopher and his father were featured in a CNN article & this episode is a timely follow-up. Listen in as Christopher shares about his upbringing in rural Arizona, and how he & his dad have repaired their relationship in recent years. Despite his dad's early-on rejection of his queerness, Christopher came out as a teen and fell heart-first into LGBTQ+ activism. He shares how working with countless nonprofits led to the emergence of his drag persona, Miss Nature. Miss Nature LLC travels regionally, working in collaboration with rural organizers to create inclusive spaces and provide information and resources to underserved communities. Arizona Drag Show performances are generally family-friendly events, which in recent years has led to some virulent pushback from the right, more specifically in the city I currently call home, Cottonwood, Arizona. Thankfully, Miss Nature and local organizers have refused to be bullied & this year the production is offering a larger-than-ever, sold-out performance. Christopher and I dig into some of the common misconceptions about drag (especially as it relates to children), and he shares why he remains steadfast when it comes to bringing LGBTQ+ support to rural areas similar to the one he grew up in. Miss Nature carries on, fierce and full of heart, even when she has to dance on culture-war eggshells to bring her and her glorious entourage on stage. I think my bestie said it best: "Drag Queens have always and will always exist & thank the gay gods for that!!!"Christopher Jay Hall was born in Phoenix, AZ. He has lived all over the U.S. as a child, but spent much of his time growing up in Arizona. He has been in Tucson since 2013. He is a graduate of Northern Arizona University with a Bachelor's in Public Administration. Christopher loves bringing people together from all walks of life to help support a common cause amongst groups that normally might not come together. He does this best as his persona, Miss Nature, whom he has been bringing to stages across the country for more than a decade. Miss Nature looks forward to bringing the art of drag to new communities that have yet to experience it. She produces the annual Arizona Pride Tour, which is set to expand into New Mexico in 2026. To learn more about her, visit ⁦MissNatureLLC.com.⁩Referenced in this episode:Read the CNN article Interview with David Gallegos-RoybalFree Held (Movie 2015)Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

“Be Like Penny.” If you visit my current hometown of Cottonwood, Arizona, you'll see these three words displayed around town. Penny Smith was a friend to many and a living example of how everyday citizens can make a meaningful difference in their local communities. She passed away in 2021, but her legacy lives on in the hearts of those who know and love her, and also through The Penny Peace Project. In this episode, I'll introduce you to Julie Fernatt and Llama Habern, the founders of ROI (Rural Organizing Initiative). Thanks in large part to Penny's supportive efforts, in 2023, Cottonwood was a planned tour stop for a regional drag company. Evangelical religious leaders mobilized their communities to turn up in droves, and city council meetings became contentious, escalating to threats of violence toward city leaders and community members. That's when ROI and its partners organized a nonviolent response that effectively silenced right-wing agitators. Listen in to learn how they did it.ROI currently provides civic engagement and supports candidates for local and county offices. Julie & Llama share how community organizing clears channels of communication and helps to build lasting, non-partisan coalitions. We also discuss: running for local office, fundraising, and the upcoming No Kings protest.Local activism is accessible to all and with a little effort, we can all be more like Penny.Rural Organizing Initiative (ROI) is a 501(c)4 non-profit corporation operating in Northern Arizona. ROI promotes full participation in democracy by providing civic education and by supporting/coaching potential candidates for local and county offices. Learn more at roi.vote.Referenced In This Episode:Reach out to ROI for supportLearn more about Penny SmithFind an Indivisible group near youAttend a NoKings Protest near youSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Nikki G isn't the type to say “I told you so.” Nevertheless, it was just one year ago when she was on the podcast, walking us through the evangelical vision behind Project 2025 and the looming theocratic dominionism of the far right. Now that the NAR agenda (see Ep.81) is coming to pass, she's back to regroup. Nikki & I discuss how to maintain sanity and balance under narcissistic rule, what it means to occupy our lane in the resistance, and why an understanding of cult dynamics is such a pragmatic consideration right now. We talk leadership, the intoxication of power, and standing arm-in-arm, steadfast and unwavering in our values, while leaders attempt to colonize our thinking and rob us of hope. This episode is a jam-packed dialogue offering support and a collectivist call to action.For more with Nikki, also see TDP Ep.77 + Ep.81 & 82.Nikki G. is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach who helps survivors recover and thrive after Religious Trauma & Cult involvement. She is also a survivor of multiple narcissistic relationships, religious trauma, and several cultic communities. Nikki is the CEO of Nikki G Speaks LLC, which provides survivors with individual coaching, online community, and psychoeducation related to religious trauma, narcissistic abuse, and cult involvement. Nikki is a co-host of the podcast Surviving the Black Church, where she and her co-hosts delve into conversations regarding religious trauma in the Black Church. She is also the co-founder of The Black Religious Trauma Recovery Network, and she sits on the board of directors for Tears of Eden, a nonprofit that supports survivors who have experienced abuse in the evangelical community. nikkigspeaks.com | @nikki_g_speaksReferenced In This Episode:Project 2025 TrackerSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Here's a preview of a bonus drop now streaming on Patreon. It's a peek behind the scenes at where we'll be heading next, with a critical examination of leadership that's likely to push some buttons. If you want to listen to the whole episode, you can access it via a 7-day free trial at patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.Sliding-scale membership starts at just $5 per month. Subscription fees keep the main feed of this pod ad-free. I'll be back here on the main feed in May. You can also find me on Substack in the meantime. Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Time for another encore! Ep.80 is even more relevant now than when I recorded it one year ago. And in the newly updated intro, I share audio from Saturday's Hands Off Protest in Flagstaff, Arizona - one of over 1400 protests around the globe where over 5 million individuals said aw-hell-no to the Trump regime's patriarchal power flex. Daddy issues are alive in the zeitgeist right now and, like it or not, they are shaping our collective responses (or lack thereof). This episode takes a closer look.Ep.80 (original release date May 1, 2024) — Candice opens with an anecdote about an awkward interpersonal interaction with a Fox News enthusiast, then gets personal, sharing from the pages of her unpublished memoir. Through a series of intimate flashbacks, she examines how her loving yet over'bear'ing stepfather shaped her people-pleasing persona early in life and what it may have taught her about the social costs of speaking up. The episode then circles back to an early theme in the ‘cult'ure series convo - don't poke the bear - riffing on how social systems reward bullying behavior and confuse everyday allies with villains. She touches upon some hot-button topics; all the while speaking about why doing so feels so damned edgy - especially in the digital age. And she introduces TDP listeners to some of the folks she's been watching closely to learn more about their refreshing responses to trolls and haters.  Learn what Candice considers "bully backlash bingo" as listen in as she shares her ongoing fascination with whistleblowers. Then (sorry-not-sorry) things get political as she paves the way for where the ‘cult'ure series is headed next. Referenced In This Episode:Robert Jay LiftonJohn Lewis - Good TroubleBrittany Voie & The Wonder Woman videoAlok Vaid-Menon on InstagramOne Way Back: A Memoir, by Christine Blasey FordDoppelganger: A Trip Into The Mirror World, by Naomi KleinSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

I'm doing a lot of deep breathing lately, and I know I'm not alone. A helluva lot of Americans are feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, and preoccupied by a single question: What can I possibly do in response to a billionaire-funded fascist coup?  Long-time friend of the pod, Susan McCulley, is here to help us find a few answers to that question. No, she's not a seasoned activist or recognizable political figure; she's an everyday citizen like me. And in November 2024, she and her friends in Charlottesville, Virginia created an online Facebook Group called Keep Going Together. Since then, it has grown into a grassroots organization of 400+ individuals who are doing activism in their own way. Susan shares how KGT came to be and how she and her community are turning their despair into a local grassroots movement. Then she shares 4 Q's that can help each one of us jumpstart a personal approach to social activism. If you don't fancy yourself a conventional "activist" but you're feeling eager to join the growing resistance, this conversation is for you!Susan McCulley has been a mindful movement leader, artist, and writer since 2000. She is a founder of Keep Going Together, a grassroots organization working to support local non-profit organizations that reduce harm and suffering in the Charlottesville area ~ with a side of protest and boycott. Susan loves guiding embodied awareness with people of all abilities and experiences, in groups of all sizes, both in person and online. She is passionate about supporting people as they connect with the inherent wisdom of the body and take their practice into life, and to their own version of activism.Referenced In This Episode:KeepGoingTogether.OrgKGT Facebook GroupShannon Downey - Bad Ass Cross StitchJessica Craven's Chop Wood Carry Water (a great place to start!)Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

I'm just gonna leave this right here. It's an encore presentation of an episode I dropped almost two years ago. Ep.59 is ripe for a reboot because fascism has come for America, and much of what I speak to here has become an everyday norm. I've re-recorded the intro to reflect our current reality, and I hope you listen to the end, where I take a closer look at tone policing and why it works to silence us. (Spoiler: knowledge can help us to beat them at their own game.)Ep.59 (original release date July 5, 2023)— Candice is back with another solo episode, asking some big questions: What is gaslighting? Why are so many people allergic to the word victim? And is spiritual dogma eroding accountability?  The episode opens with an exploration of spiritual supremacy and how/why social stigmas around victimhood have become so prevalent. Candice shares personally about her long and messy history with gaslighting and how devotion to new ageism only added to her confusion. She challenges the notion that all suffering is meant, then breaks down the cognitive biases that fuel a victim-blaming/shaming culture. Victimhood isn't something we choose, and it's shame-inducing because it is very often culturally conflated with learned helplessness. Examples are offered, as well as a critical look at the impossible standards that victims (and/or advocates who speak out on their behalf) are held to. Tone policing is defined and examined as a deflection of accountability, as well as other tools in the arsenal of those who are truly "playing the victim"… aka co-opt the language of the oppressed to justify retaliation in the face of restorative resistance.  Referenced in this episode:Conspirituality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became a Health Threat, by Derek Beres, Matthew Remski, & Julian WalkerConspirituality podcast episode #148: Marianne Williamson & Asshole JesusNicki Clyne Leaves Keith Raniere - her statementConflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair, by Sarah SchulmanShiny Happy People (documentary) on Amazon PrimePunishment Is Not Accountability, article by Kate McCord with the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action AllianceSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

I'm back. Because silence isn't an option right now. In this episode, I share how graduate study / critical inquiry into leadership and social psychology is helping me make sense of an upside-down world. Groupthink, aka hive mind, isn't just a 'culty' thing. Conformity happens everywhere along the political spectrum. I speak to how unspoken "display rules" keep us from speaking up, then make the argument that Democratic leaders in Washington desperately need to ditch cultural etiquette in order to demand accountability. I also share J. W. Brehm's theory of reactance, which can help us to better understand friends and family members on the MAGA/MAHA right who continue to double down on misinformation. Bombarding them with actual facts will likely backfire, and I tell you why. Lastly, and most importantly, I talk about pluralistic ignorance - what it is & why understanding it is absolutely essential in the fight against fascism. Self-regulation works great for peace of mind, but it can operate like a sort of pathology when it keeps us from protecting one another and demanding justice.Referenced in this episode:The Social Animal, by Elliot AronsonInfluence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert CialdiniWhat is Group Think? Online PM CoursesMy two-part interview w/ Aimee Van AusdallConspirituality Brief: Antifascist Woodshed 2 (Punching Nazis?)Keep Going Together - Facebook Community led by Susan McCulleySupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Candice is back on the main feed with a final #gotv reminder and a deep-dive into this thing we call 'hope' - what is it, really? She shares about her pre-election anxiety and how she's actualizing hope in the face of so muchness. Various definitions of hope are offered, then she digs into the groundbreaking work of her late mentor, C.R. Snyder, 'the hope guy', sharing what she learned in the late '90s torturing freshmen in his research lab at The University of Kansas. What's the real-deal difference between positive psychology and magical thinking? How can we use positive psychology to make our experience of hope more tangible? And what can we learn from activists and those who refuse to give up? Also, a reminder that hope doesn't have to be about a higher power and Candice's post-election promise to you, no matter who wins.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

The main feed of the pod is on hold indefinitely, but solo episodes continue rolling out over on Patreon. In this one-off drop, Candice offers a summary of recent content, sharing why she's taking sides in the upcoming U.S. general election and offering perspective re: the cognitive dissonance that reluctant-yet-resigned MAGA voters are likely experiencing in the final weeks leading up to Nov 5th.And then, politics aside, you'll hear last week's unscripted drop from over on Patreon, where she shares more personally about:New age apostasy - the liberating (and terrifying) feeling of life without dogma; and why 'healing' from moral injuries is never really done.Spiritual high-talk - it's moving into the mainstream & despite the sugar-coated lip service, is it demonstration of true unity? Not so much.The power-player problem - it won't be remedied with whack-a-mole focus on leadership alone; we've got to re-invent the systems that breed them.Is Social Media radicalizing us? - Candice shares how she's been losing agency to the high-demand influence of her smartphone & what she plans to do about it.Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to over 70 hours of bonus content in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod ad-free. Sliding-scale membership starts at just $5 month.Referenced In This Episode:I Will Vote - confirm &/or register to voteWCDHT episode with Dr. Mariel BuquéZadie Smith on The Ezra Klein ShowSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Right around the time Candice was puzzling over how to wrap the 'cult'ure series, regular contributor Tracy Stamper reached out to ask: Hey, Can I Q Her A? The result is the series finale where Candice responds to a long list of listener questions like: What's it been like carrying on in the face of backlash? How has this project been impactful on a personal level? Were there any unexpected surprises? And what's next? Also: Tracy offers up a somewhat surprising personal revelation. Candice speaks to the personal code of ethics she developed while producing this work. They speak candidly about the appeal of high-arousal states (vs. the maybe-middle ground), then Tracy asks Candice if she's willing to predict what might happen next at ‘the Org.' Recovery from reflexive people-pleasing is discussed, which leads Candice to an ah-hah around the word "spiritual" and why it's so over-used. When asked about leadership, she gets fired up around outdated definitions and shares why she's made such an effort to ensure the series *not* become another cult-personality led movement. Plus, many other A's to your Q's! And be sure to listen to the end; Tracy's final question goes somewhere unexpected and speaks to the very heart of this work.Thanks for tuning into the 'cult'ure series. If you'd like to keep your finger on The Deeper Pulse, consider joining the growing community over on Patreon where Candice will continue to rollout monthly bonus episodes indefinitely.Referenced in this episode:DD#62 - Good Girl' Intervention (Patreon bonus)But It's Not A Cult - social media post Shame Persists Because - follow-up rantSolo Episodes referenced - Ep.39 & Ep.40DD#42 - The Tired Goose (Patreon bonus)Support the Show.The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Candice is proud to welcome New York Magazine's Cover Story: Power Trip producers Lily Kay Ross & David Nickles to the pod. Lily & Dave share about the behind the scenes events that led to the 2021 launch of their investigative podcast series and about the backlash they've experience researching and reporting on abuse in psychedelic communities. Topics touched upon in this episode include: how trauma shapes our experience of psychedelics, the way in which harm mitigation is often perceived as a threat to 'the movement', and the neoliberal gaslighting of victims. Lily & Dave share why the rush to medicalize psychedelics is problematic, due in part to a lack of credible research when it comes to mental health outcomes, and then remind listeners why it's important to be cautious when exploring psychedelics in communal and therapeutic settings. The roots of 'psychedelic authoritarianism' are discussed, as well as alternatives for folks who'd like to explore psychedelics without suggestive oversight. Lily speaks to why the word ‘power' itself can be a red flag and why 'resistance' is something we should celebrate. Dave shares why he loves psychedelics and the political tensions they force us to confront. In what may be the final deep-dive convo of the series, Candice finds solace in the fact that - come hell or high water - people like Lily & Dave are working hard to expose injustice and enable collective change.Lily Kay Ross, MDiv, PhD is a journalist, harm reduction advocate, and independent scholar advancing the field of Critical Psychedelic Studies. She's Creator and Producer of New York magazine's Cover Story: Power Trip podcast. She's interested in queer, feminist and neurodivergent perspectives, peer-reviewed research, and science journalism that centers patients and people with lived experience. She has her Masters of Divinity from Harvard, and her PhD in Gender Studies from the University of Otago.David Nickles is an underground researcher, harm reduction advocate, and journalist. He's Creator and Producer of New York magazine's Cover Story: Power Trip podcast. As a forerunner of Critical Psychedelic Studies, his work has focused on the intersection of radical politics and the sociocultural implications of psychoactive substances, research and clinical ethics, and novel phytochemical analysis of psychoactive materials. He is a vocal opponent of psychedelic commodification and blows glass in an idealistic attempt to avoid monetizing his psychedelic work. Dave is the former Managing Editor of Psymposia.Referenced In This Episode:New York Magazine - Cover Story: Power Trip The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas, by Ursula K LeGuinSupport the Show.The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Welcome to the second half of a two-part exposé on the NAR movement in America. Candice continues her conversation with former insider, Nikki G, who shares more about the strategic aims of this belief system and how dominion theology has long been carving out a space in US politics. They touch a bit more on the Heritage Foundation's presidential playbook (Project 2025), specifically its focus on unitary executive theory; in other words, the doing-away with checks and balances. Then Nikki courageous shares about the years she spent on the front lines of the pro-life movement. She takes us behind the scenes of ‘TheCall' anti-abortion marches - the red ‘LIFE' tape she wore, the 12-hour prayer and fasting sessions she attended, and how she believed she was “on the right side of history.” Nikki reveals how her views have since changed, sharing her more nuanced understanding of the right to choose as well as retroactive realizations she's had as a Black cult survivor. Inspired by both personal experiences and professional expertise, Nikki offers TDP listeners some timely advice on how to navigate relationships with friends and loved ones who are under the influence of this radical ideology. The episode wraps with a reminder that knowledge is power. Candice & Nikki don't have a solution to the current political crisis, so they instead share how they are staying informed and taking good care in equal measure.Nikki G. is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach  who helps survivors recover and thrive after Religious Trauma & Cult involvement. She is also survivor of multiple narcissistic relationships, religious trauma, and several cultic communities. Nikki is the CEO of Nikki G Speaks LLC, which provides survivors with individual coaching, online community, and psychoeducation related to religious trauma, narcissistic abuse, and cult involvement. Nikki is a co-host of the podcast “Surviving the Black Church” where she and her co-hosts delve into conversations regarding religious trauma in the Black Church. She is also the co-founder of The Black Religious Trauma Recovery Network and she sits on the board of directors for Tears of Eden, a non-profit organization that supports survivors who have experienced abuse in the evangelical community. nikkigspeaks.com | @nikki_g_speaksReferenced In This Episode:Politico Article - Christian Nationalism & TrumpThe New Republic - NAR & ‘Political Takeover'Daily Kos - NAR is 'Stalking Democracy'André Gagné - for more on religious violenceSupport the Show.The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

American democracy is hanging on by a thread. But how did we get here? Today's episode offers an insider's peek into Christian nationalism. You may remember Nikki G from Ep.77; she was on the pod back in January, sharing about her work as a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach who specializes in spiritual and religious abuse. In early March, Candice invited her to sit down again for this two-part conversation. Nikki is a former devotee in the evangelical movement whose passion at the time was "governmental intercession." In Part 1 of this dialogue, she peels back the curtain on the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) Movement and how its decades-long perversion of Christianity has infiltrated US politics. Nikki lays out the bones of the movement's history and gives us a feel for what it's like inside NAR's apostolic hubs, all working in coordination toward the same end-game. She walks us through Lance Wallnau's 7 Mountain Mandate, a strategic plan to impose religious order on the masses and shamelessly colonize every aspect of American culture. Nikki tells us what it was like, watching evangelical leaders embrace Trump prior to the first election; then she and Candice discuss why he's actually the ideal point man for the movement. This episode lays a critical foundation for the Heritage Foundation's far-right playbook (Project 2025) and where this conversation will be headed next week, in Part 2.Nikki G. is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach  who helps survivors recover and thrive after Religious Trauma & Cult involvement. She is also survivor of multiple narcissistic relationships, religious trauma, and several cultic communities. Nikki is the CEO of Nikki G Speaks LLC, which provides survivors with individual coaching, online community, and psychoeducation related to religious trauma, narcissistic abuse, and cult involvement. Nikki is a co-host of the podcast “Surviving the Black Church” where she and her co-hosts delve into conversations regarding religious trauma in the Black Church. She is also the co-founder of The Black Religious Trauma Recovery Network and she sits on the board of directors for Tears of Eden, a non-profit organization that supports survivors who have experienced abuse in the evangelical community. nikkigspeaks.com | @nikki_g_speaksReferenced In This Episode:God & Country - documentaryPower Worshippers, by Katherine StewartConspirituality Episode #187 - Project 2025Mindshift Podcast - Exposing Project 2025Support the Show.The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Welcome to a brand new chapter in the ‘cult'ure series. We'll be moving away from the wellness world and onto broader culture war topics in the coming weeks. To kick things off, Candice is showing up solo. Opening with an anecdote about an awkward interpersonal interaction from a few weeks ago, she then continues in the vein of storytelling, pulling from the pages of her unpublished memoir. Through a series of intimate flashbacks, she examines how an over'bear'ing family system shaped her people-pleasing persona early in life and what it may have taught her about the social costs of speaking up. The episode then circles back to an early theme in the ‘cult'ure series convo - don't poke the bear - riffing on how (because patriarchy) social systems reward bullying behavior and sometimes confuse everyday allies with villains. She touches upon some hot-button topics; all the while speaking about why doing so feels so damned edgy - especially in the digital age. Also, she introduces TDP listeners to some of the folks that she's been watching closely in order to learn more about everyday activism, and why she's become a little obsessed with refreshing responses to trolls and haters.  Learn what Candice considers 'bully backlash bingo' as well as what her ongoing fascination with whistleblowers has been teaching her. Then (sorry-not-sorry) things get political as she paves the way for where the ‘cult'ure series is headed next. Referenced In This Episode:Robert Jay LiftonJohn Lewis - Good TroubleBrittany Voie & The Wonder Woman videoAlok Vaid-Menon on InstagramOne Way Back: A Memoir, by Christine Blasey FordDoppelganger: A Trip Into The Mirror World, by Naomi KleinSupport the Show.The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Beginning next week, we'll be shifting the conversation here on the main feed away from wellness 'cult'ure convos. But first, back in early February, Candice invited Tracy Stamper to record a last-minute release for Patreon, and it soon after became one of this pod's most downloaded bonus episodes to date. Flying monkey is a term popularized in cult recovery spaces.  Borrowed from the storyline of the Wizard of Oz, it describes a high-demand group dynamic wherein hardcore loyalists reinforce ideology and allegiance to the group by policing behavior, expression, and dissenting opinions. But the thing is, in the world of new age wellness, flying monkey behavior isn't always easy to suss out. It often masquerades as concern and/or sugar-coated redirections that are directed toward those who are wavering in their devotion; aka no longer 'all-in.' And in more extreme instances, it can look like victim shaming (see Ep.59). Shrugging off good-girl conditioning, Candice & Tracy share never-told stories about what's been happening behind the scenes, and how dogma placed in service to good intentions can actually do more harm. You'll hear what it's been like fielding ongoing criticism from Org loyalists. They take a critical look at “the high road” - what is it, really?... offer a closer look at 'soft-power coercion'... and also at how gaslighting can get dressed up in holy garb. Also, is there a razor thin line between compassion and complicity? Candice references how the groundbreaking work of Regina Jackson & Saira Roa has been helping her to wake up to her own blindspots and moral complacency. And Tracy reflects on her own flying monkey behavior back in the day, and then offers a compelling counterargument to those who'd rather we STFU because "what about my business?!" Which leads to an in-real-time reality check around why - despite their shared desire to move away from the subject - they're still talking about the Org. (Can we be done now, pretty please?!)Referenced In This Episode:Bounded Choice: Who Is Accountable? w/ Dr. Janja LalichWhite Women: Everything You Already Know About Your Own Racism and How to Do Better, by Regina Jackson & Saira RoaDeconstructing Karen - Apple TV documentarySupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Welcome to another Patreon Sampler. Over a dozen conversations have dropped while Candice has been on break from the main feed (that's here), and there are currently 60+ ‘cult'ure series related bonus episodes now streaming over on Patreon. Episode #78 features some of the best moments from recent releases. Listen to excerpts from recent discussions:On activism, diet 'cult'ure, & self-care >>Aimee Van Ausdall shares about her very-public exit from ‘the Org', how she's been standing up to bullies her whole life, and a tough-love reality check for those still straddling. Also, her plus-sized perspective on recent diet 'cult'ure convos. (From DD#57 - Leaving Loudly: Bullies, Paper Tigers, & A Size Stigma Reality Check - total run time: 53min over on Patreon)Dr. Melissa Durfey joins Candice to share about firsthand experience with medical fat-phobia, how intuitive wellness saved her life, and why self-care is so important. (From DD#53 - Surviving Anti-Fat Bias & Discovering Intuitive Wellness - total run time: 60min on Patreon)Sara Avery speaks candidly about growing up fat, her commitment to volunteer activism, and what 'allyship' really means to her. (From DD#56 - What My Body Is For: Self-Acceptance & Embodied Activism - total run time: 66m on Patreon)On what it takes to call out legacies of abuse >>Noa Kadman shares how she spent years devoted to a yoga-inspired dance modality that was created by two former 'Org' trainers; only to suffer moral injury and betrayal. (From DD#55 - ‘Spiritual' Self-Sacrifice: A Cautionary Tale & Cult-Hopping Heads Up! - total run time: 1hr, 47m on Patreon)Whistleblower Update - Candice shares about recent pushback to this here pod, how Naomi Klein's book Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World is helping her to understand the polarizing times we're living in, and where the ‘cult'ure series is headed next. (From STC 3/14/24 - The Bully Pulpit: A Whistleblower Reality Check & Naomi Klein's 'The Mirror World' - total run time: 38m on Patreon)If you would like to hear full-length conversations of these and 60+ other episodes, consider becoming a patron of the pod for as little as $5 a month. Patreon donations keep the podcast editorially independent and ad-free. A free 7-day trial is available to all new subscribers.Learn more at patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week's Patreon Preview features an excerpt from a solo episode in the Subject To Change series with Candice, released exclusively on TDP Patreon. The following clip is from a 47-minute episode entitled Spiritual Capitalism: The Trouble w/ Turning Meaning Into Money. If you like what you hear in this sample clip, you can access the full-length episode on Patreon - which touches upon the following topics:An important reminder not to weaponize 'cult'ure series content.Spiritual Capitalism; the monetized rebellion against self-sacrifice.Idealism, misinformation, & exchanging meaning for money.Spiritual Meritocracy; a love&light spin on a capitalistic lie.Is 'spiritual' really even something that we can be?Soft-power coercion in marketing & what to look out for.Reality check re: the social determinants of health AND well-being.Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod ad-free. Sliding-scale membership starts at just $5 month.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

January is Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month, and this week Candice welcomes a very special guest. Nikki G is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, co-host of the Surviving The Black Church podcast, and a vocal advocate for spiritual and religious abuse survivors. Nikki shares briefly about her personal history growing up in a narcissistic family system, time spent in five different cults, and her personal path of healing. She speaks about the subtle yet sometimes critical difference between spiritual and religious trauma, then offers guidance around how best to seek support and healing. Nikki generously walks us through a brief history of The Black Church, speaking to how intergenerational trauma must be a consideration when supporting Black folks who are recovering from spiritual and religious abuse. The term ‘church hurt' is discussed; specifically how in Black Communities, when applied too broadly, it leads to the glorification of suffering and implicitly encourages abuse survivors to stay-put and endure. Candice shares suffer-in-silence parallels in the wellness world, and the two discuss how even though the gaslighting shows up differently, it ultimately results in a similar outcome - spiritual bypassing and a disconnection from self. Nikki speaks to the many invisible wounds folks grapple with upon exiting a high-demand religion or spiritual community and then describes what post-cult ‘rehab' might look like. She shares how coming home to her body has been so pivotal in her healing process; and Candice asks for Nikki's input on the unique challenge of healing from trauma that occurs within the space of an embodiment practice. The episode wraps with a teaser into another upcoming convo with Nikki that will be recorded later this month, focusing on how religious ideologies have been systematically shaping American politics for decades. This is a rich conversation; be sure to listen to the end!Nikki G. is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach  who helps survivors recover and thrive after Religious Trauma & Cult involvement. She is also survivor of multiple narcissistic relationships, religious trauma, and several cultic communities. Nikki is the CEO of Nikki G Speaks LLC, which provides survivors with individual coaching, online community, and psychoeducation related to religious trauma, narcissistic abuse, and cult involvement. Nikki is a co-host of the podcast “Surviving the Black Church” where she and her co-hosts delve into conversations regarding religious trauma in the Black Church. She is also the co-founder of The Black Religious Trauma Recovery Network and she sits on the board of directors for Tears of Eden, a non-profit organization that supports survivors who have experienced abuse in the evangelical community. Web: nikkigspeaks.com | IG: @nikki_g_speaksReferenced In This Episode:Surviving The Black Church PodcastThe Black Religious Trauma Recovery NetworkTears of EdenSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week, we're keeping our finger on the pulse of diet ‘cult'ure. Our guest is a former affiliate of 'the Org' and a valued contributor in the Deconstructing Dogma series over on Patreon. Susan McCulley recently joined Candice for heart-to-heart, and we're sharing the first half of the convo here on the main feed. In 2016, Susan wrote a powerful essay about the double-life she was living as a holistic fitness instructor touting ‘body love' who was secretly struggling with body acceptance and a lifetime of disordered eating. You'll hear Susan read excerpts from this remarkable and revealing piece where she shares 'snapshots' from her life in a body - ie. the calorie book she discovered at 10 years old & why even as a grown-ass woman she didn't think to fire her “shitty shitty doctor.” She & Candice discuss the subtle-yet-critical differences between restriction and genuine self-care, how shame and perfectionism keep us from normalizing body image struggles, and the lip service they each gave (but didn't fully embody) while teaching the 'Org' practice. Candice reveals how she's actively shifting the language she uses in her classes, and Susan offers up the personal mantra she now uses when she catches herself judging/comparing bodies. The two get real about day-to-day capacity when it comes to challenging diet-culture norms, and then reference the work of Kate Manne and a radical reframe they both love - body reflexivity. Finally, and paving the way for conversations that will drop later in the series, Susan shares a few ways that she is using her thin privilege to actively support folks living in larger bodies.Susan McCulley has been a mindful movement leader, artist, and writer since 2000. She is the creator of The Age of Becoming: Embodied Practices Empowering Women over 50 community which offers free movement practices & workshops, connection & community and more. Her 30-Lesson audio course, Building Balance in Your Body & Life was published on the Insight Timer meditation app in early 2022. She has two illustrated books, Buddha Cat: Learning Awareness, Presence & Self-Care from a Teacher Who Sometimes Barfs on the Bed and Octabusy: Letting Go in a Sea of Doing. Her teaching schedule, classes, books and art are available at susanmcculley.com. Referenced In This Episode:Susan's Blog PostJoin Patreon to hear Part 2 with SusanYou Can't Fight Misogyny Without Fighting Fat Phobia - The Burnt Toast PodcastUnshrinking: How to Face Fatphobia, by Kate ManneSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Deconstructing Dogma is a video bonus series hosted exclusively on Patreon. Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to these weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod ad-free.This week's Patreon Preview features excerpts from DD #50 with Stacy Parish. Stacy was on the main feed back in March 2023, and she's back to share about how complex trauma shaped her culty experiences - as well as her ability to recognize the warning signs before wading in too deep.Content Warning >> This episode includes reference to sexual trauma, familial gaslighting, and emotional abuse.In the full-length episode over on Patreon:Stacy shares how she got involved with the Org & why she chose to step away after completing her second level of training.She reveals what it was like stepping into the practice as a sexual trauma survivor; how the practice felt like a godsend that gifted her "a birthright that I'd been robbed of."She opens up about how, even as a teacher on 'the fringe' she experienced red flags; sharing examples.And then, she bravely shares about her family of origin & how it may have shaped her susceptibility to gaslighting and undue influence:You'll learn about the since-disbanded False Memory Syndrome Foundation, their VERY troubling history (read more about it here), and the gaslighting that Stacy endured as a result of a systemic campaign to silence victims of childhood sexual abuse.Stacy tells us what it was like being gaslit by her parents & how/why psychological survival meant normalizing the tension of two painfully opposing truths.She reveals how her original wounds may have inspired her to incessantly seek out surrogate family & a sense of safety and belonging. And we discuss how common this yearning can be.And finally, Stacy shares:How art and storytelling has helped her to liberate her voice.What it's been like for her to step into the spotlight & live her truth out loud.Stacy Parish has a BS degree in art education from Minnesota State University, Mankato and spent 11 years in broadcasting — as a professional disc jockey, voice talent and copywriter. She has been professionally involved in education and communication for almost  years.  A born storyteller, her popular podcast “Full Spirals” brings together two of her passions: using her voice as a vehicle for change and promoting the arts as tools for healing. A working local artist, she is also employed in the paint and sip industry as an artist, and her original paintings have been taught to tens of thousands of people nationwide. fullspirals.com | @boomstacySupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

We're back with the second half of our conversation with Tara Wike. (If you missed Part 1, you'll wanna circle back and start there). In the lead-in, Candice reads from listener comments & lays the foundation for Part 2. Picking up where we left off last week, Tara shares how changing her ‘visual diet' is expanding her definition of beauty; and also, the culty collateral damage done when we critique our bodies publicly. This leads into a discussion around mixed messages at ‘the Org' and how - despite loads of lip service - practitioners are in no way immune to the influence of diet culture; then Tara highlights how generational differences around body acceptance may be at play. The social determinants of health are discussed, as well as the danger of insisting that wellness is in all cases ‘an inside job' — especially when systemic barriers and biases are so prevalent. Tracy asks us to take a critical look at ‘emotional eating' — is this always a bad thing? (Spoiler: not so much.) And then Tara shares how recovery from a brain injury revealed to her the insidiousness of diet culture. We touch upon the body positivity and body neutrality movements, and then Tara shares how she's doing her part to try and shift attitudes within her own social spheres. This is an important episode in the series line-up; one that you won't want to miss!Tara Wike (she/her) is an American expat living in Denmark with her husband and son. She is a leader in the design organization at The LEGO Group, and moonlights teaching Org-inspired movement classes, having recently left the Org after decades of practice. In both work and private life, Tara is passionate about creating inclusive products and experiences. Her recent recovery from disordered eating has inspired her to actively support body diversity and fight anti-fat bias, both in fitness spaces and in the broader culture.LINKS:Dear Sugars Podcast | Ep: Trust Your Body with Dana Sturtevant & Hilary KinaveyMaintenance Phase Podcast w/ Aubrey Gordon & Michael HobbesDieting Does Not Work, UCLA Researchers ReportAubrey Gordon on WCDHT PodcastFood Psych Podcast w/ Christy HarrisonAlso referenced in this episode:Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia, book by Sabrina StringsAnti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating, book by Christy HarrisonConspirituality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became a Health Threat, book by Derek Beres, Matthew Remski, & Julian WalkerThe Wellness Trap: Break Free from Diet Culture, Disinformation, and Dubious Diagnoses, and Find Your True Well-Being, book by Christy HarrisonSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Plans have changed and the ‘cult'ure series isn't wrapping just yet! Back after another long break, Candice shares why she's decided to keep at it; then she lays the foundation for this week's convo. Originally recorded as a Patreon bonus, Candice and wingwoman, Tracy Stamper, welcome special guest Tara Wike to the pod for a two-part deconstruction of diet ‘cult'ure. In Part 1, Tara shares a bit about her personal background, time spent teaching and training with ‘the Org,' and the wake-up call that led her into a path of recovery around disordered eating. Topics discussed include: healthism, orthorexia, intuitive eating, how systemic biases shape definitions of 'health', and how Tara is now bringing a Health At Every Size (HAES) approach to her personal and professional endeavors. And stick around to the end, because Tara's wisdom is timely. Candice expresses some in-real-time raw emotion, sharing a peek into her own disordered eating and revealing how Tara's honesty & openness has been a real wake-up call. Part 2 drops next week.Tara Wike (she/her) is an American expat living in Denmark with her husband and son. She is a leader in the design organization at The LEGO Group, and moonlights teaching Org-inspired movement classes, having recently left the Org after decades of practice. In both work and private life, Tara is passionate about creating inclusive products and experiences. Her recent recovery from disordered eating has inspired her to actively support body diversity and fight anti-fat bias, both in fitness spaces and in the broader culture.LINKS:Isabel Foxen DukeDear Sugars Podcast | Ep: Trust Your BodyThe Center for Body TrustASDAH - Health at Every Size (HAES)Diet Culture & Body Image - The Renfrew CenterWhy You Gain Belly Fat After Menopause (& Why It's Ok)Also referenced in this episode:We Have to Stop Thinking of Being ‘Healthy' as Being Morally Better, Aubrey GordonThe Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love, Sonya Renee TaylorConspirituality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became a Health Threat, Beres, Remski, & WalkerHealth At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, Lindo BaconIntuitive Eating, A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach, Elyse Resch and Evelyn TriboleSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

The 'cult'ure series is scheduled to wrap next week. In the meantime, here's one last sneak peek at the Deconstructing Dogma bonus series that will be streaming through the new year over on Patreon. There are currently 40+ bonus episodes available to patrons of the pod, and this sampler features some of our favorite moments from recent releases.In this Patreon Sampler, you'll hear excerpts from:Frenemies: The Not-So-Fringe Reality, where Candice & Tracy unpack how top-down power dynamics have seemingly spread into 'Org' communities worldwide.Spirit Barbie: The Performance of Wellness - a one-hour deconstruction of the how we are socially conditioned to present ourselves in the world of wellness; ie. 'high talk', dieting, and detox culture.Maria Skinner once again joins Candice & Tracy, this time to take a critical look at The Law of Attraction. We trade personal stories and talk 'manifestation', channeling, and mindset vs. magical thinking. Intimacy vs. Intensity - Candice shares about the helpful advice she once received from a therapist who was well-versed in relational dynamics at 'the Org.' She & Tracy unpack it a bit, then chat about the forced intimacy that is so often created in wellness training environments.Adi Goren returns for a bonus convo, this time to to deconstruct The Economy of 'the Org.' Adi invites us to examine how the business model of the company is a feudal system where the many work in service to those at the top; then we talk free labor and the challenges of moving on after leaving.If you want more of what this episode has to offer, consider becoming a patron of the pod for as little as $5 a month. Patreon donations keep the podcast ad-free. If you're interested in learning more, visit patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Welcome to the second half of our two-part conversation with Adi Goren (recorded back in August). If you missed Part 1, you're gonna want to circle back, because we're picking up right where we left off! Last week, Adi shared a bit about her personal life, how she first discovered ‘the Org', and her subsequent devotion to the practice. Part 2 opens as Adi reveals more about her relationship to ‘the Org' CEO; how she saw him as a ‘father figure' and how he groomed her for a role within the company. She shares what it was like working remotely from her home in Israel, fielding calls while trying to overlook the many red flags - ie: love bombing, high employee turnover, and teachers regularly calling in with worrisome requests. And then Adi bravely tells Tracy & I about the staff meeting that shattered her faith in the business and its leadership once and for all; sharing about the moment when she challenged the Org CEO, appalled by his dehumanizing rhetoric.  Unsure of how to transition away from the work she'd structured her entire life around, Adi held onto her job for another few months before being fired unjustly. She expresses what it was like stepping away; how she was sick with grief and how her classes doubled in size once she was no longer devoting all of her precious life force to someone else's bottomline. Adi speaks candidly about what she's learned from her experiences with the Org. She talks boundaries, and why she thinks she was personally vulnerable to exploitation and power-over abuse. Then, the three speak about how collective trauma may factor into:  why so many women gravitate toward the practice; why the vehicle of movement is so damn potent; and what happens when ‘joy' becomes an addictive and dissociative escape. Coming together in collective cult recovery, we seek to answer to the question -  how do we heal from moral injury and reclaim a sense of autonomy (and agency) over our bodies and our lives?Adi Goren is a former Org affiliate and experienced movement teacher who is developing what she and her community know as The Architecture of Movement. She manages a dance dojo in Israel, offering classes, workshops, and retreats in Israel and abroad. Adi qualified as an architect from the University of Cape Town, South Africa, where she lived for 18 years. She is also a single parent and has been studying the practice of Aikido since 2010.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

The ‘cult'ure series is set to wrap in a few short weeks at which time main feed podcast production will be on hold indefinitely. But first, we have a final conversation to share with you. Back in August, Candice and good friend / wing woman, Tracy Stamper, sat down with former Org affiliate Adi Goren, who joined the pod from her home in Israel. This lengthy conversation was recorded prior to the unfolding crisis; as such, the intro to the episode, Candice speaks briefly to the unintended-yet-timely nature of this episode's release. About 15 minutes in, Adi is introduced, and Tracy & Candice listen in as she bravely offers the first half of her story - sharing what it was like growing up in Israel and South Africa; about her early adult life a wife, mother, and an architect; and how it is she came to discover ‘the Org.' Adi chose to devote herself to the business and the practice, saying in her own words: "My name and the Org became synonymous.  And it was my identity." For years, Adi taught classes, produced events, and helped to build a thriving Org community in Israel. After a few glorious years, things got complicated, thanks in part to the ‘producer program' and communal discord resulting from a lack of integrity, leadership, and guidance at the top. Adi speaks candidly about her own confusion and about what she felt to be a threat to her very livelihood. She describes how, in early 2010, she reached out to the Org's founder to request mediation and support only to be publicly shamed. Adi opens up about the understandable humiliation she felt and what happened when the Org CEO came to Israel to offer his support. It was the beginning of a pivotal relationship that would ultimately shape Adi's future with the company. The episode wraps with a disturbing revelation that left both Tracy & Candice slack-jawed.Adi Goren is a former Org affiliate and experienced movement teacher who is developing what she and her community know as The Architecture of Movement. She manages a dance dojo in Israel, offering classes, workshops, and retreats in Israel and abroad. Adi qualified as an architect from the University of Cape Town, South Africa, where she lived for 18 years. She is also a single parent and has been studying the practice of Aikido since 2010.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week's ‘cult'ure series release is a very special rollover from the Patreon-exclusive deconstructing dogma bonus series. Three former ‘Org' affiliates join Candice for a panel discussion examining wellness-cult dynamics through the intersectional lens of gender and sexuality. Together they explore how mainstream socialization around the heteronormative gender binary is very often reinforced in spirituality and wellness spaces. In this conversation, LGBTQ+ perspectives are centered as guests share about their personal & professional experiences. Lainie invites us to look closely at language, and at how terms like 'masculine' & 'feminine' reinforce problematic stereotypes; and she shares briefly about her experience on the Org's short-lived DEI Counsel. Troy initiates a discussion about why the Org's clothing line was/is so problematic and opens up about how an unwillingness to 'dress the part' - both literally and interpersonally - can limit professional advancement. Maxx speaks to how pressures around gender expression started way back in childhood and were reinforced in wellness spaces; and he celebrates younger generations who are providing to language for his long-lived life experiences. We chat about how capitalism factors into systemic reinforcement of the gender binary and then share some full-belly laughs during a lively (and very revealing) discussion about homoerotic energy on the dance floor. What's that about really? This is an episode not to be missed.Maxx Boyd is non binary, trans masculine, happily married, and a longtime friend. He was involved with the Org for roughly a decade, subbing for the Org's founders, while also teaching ongoing classes throughout the Portland metro area. Maxx still leads dance fitness classes and has since allowed their own teaching to evolve into something unique and self-defined. Maxx is also a non practicing LMT and part time customer service manager. But he spends most of his days lovingly looking after an active and playful toddler.Troy McCall licensed with the Org in 2001 and was a devoted teacher and student for many years, teaching in a variety of locations worldwide. T separated from the practice in 2011 and is now a soccer player and coach in Boulder, Colorado. Troy also dances and performs with Streetside Dance and with NewBreed Dance Company and is studying Sport Analytics and Management at American University. T holds multiple master's degrees in Contemporary Performance, Buddhist Studies, and Soccer Coaching.Lainie Magidsohn is queer, polyamorous, and a lifelong dancer and mover. She's a choreographer, collaborator, improviser, and teacher who is passionate about creating a safe space for movers of all ages, abilities, bodies, and genders to engage with their own unique dance. Lainie was involved with the Org for two decades and was also a part of the Org's short-lived Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Council, that was formed in the aftermath of the George Floyd murder and was disbanded less than two years later. Lainie is also a parent, a wedding officiant, a life drawing model, and an instructor with Dancing with Parkinsons in Toronto and across Canada online. Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week, Candice welcomes Priscilla Eyles for a discussion on intersectional cult recovery. Priscilla, who comes to us from the UK, is a DEI/JEDI consultant who shares about their time spent in two different cults: Landmark, an LGAT offshoot of est, and OneTaste, a wellness organization that is currently under FBI investigation for sexual exploitation and forced labor practices. When Priscilla stepped away and began grappling with their back-to-back cult experiences, they immediately noticed how cult recovery spaces often overlook the perspectives of marginalized folks. As a neurodiverse, racialized, queer cult survivor, they have since become an intersectional anti-cult activist/advocate who centers the perspectives of multiply-marginalized survivors. Priscilla generously agreed to join the pod to help Candice and TDP listeners better understand how to respectfully platform marginalized voices - without being tokenistic or extractive. Priscilla speaks candidly about their own neurodiversity, how multiple marginalizations can complicate the process of cult recovery, and why culty groups can be so attractive to those who have been systematically marginalized. Victim blaming is once again discussed, only this time from an intersectional perspective. This is an eye-opening conversation, and a reminder than there really is no such thing as homogenous cult survivorship.Priscilla Eyles (she/her, they/them) is passionate about enabling the social acceptance of multiply marginalized neurodivergent (ND) people and cult survivors like themselves, as well as increasing understanding of the great value of lived experience wisdom and the importance of trauma-informed approaches. As a cult survivor who is a biracial, ADHD/autistic (AuDHD), queer femme/AFAB (assigned female at birth), they are equally passionate about normalizing conversations around cult abuse and foregrounding how cults can prey on and retraumatize people like them. Priscilla was formerly a Project Coordinator managing an intersectional disability project and is a DEI/JEDI trainer and consultant specializing in neurodivergence in the workplace. with Resolve Evolve, who has trained in DEI practice with the Sarah Jane Academy.  As an intersectional ND & cult awareness advocate & activist, she has spoken at various major panel/campaign events and written for numerous publications/organizations as a freelance writer.Twitter: @PriscillaEyles | Insta: @CulturalLiasons | Email: priscillaeyles@gmail.com Referenced in this episode:The Equality House - Topeka, KSBBC Interview - Me, my autism and cultsEvvie Orman - YouTubeOrgasm, Inc. - NetflixSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Teruyo & Lennox are theatre artists in cult recovery, currently hard at work on a musical inspired by their personal experiences in a shamanic cult. They explore what it's like to break away from high-demand influence, while offering a socio-political deconstruction of the colonial headspace that informs it. Music from the play's soundtrack is woven throughout this powerful conversation, which touches upon a whole helluva lot in an hour. Teruyo & Lennox describe how crafting a musical - both in storyline and soundtrack - enables them to give greater voice and vehicle to the trauma they've experienced. Teruyo shares: how their upbringing and mixed-racial identity primed them to 'cult hop' and spend sixteen years in devotion to their last cult; how the so-called 'Freedom Convoy' in January 2022 was the final straw that inspired them break free; and how their own internalized white supremacy kept them 'in' the cult and separate-from their Japanese heritage for most of their life. Lennox opens up about their own early in life conditioning, Baptist summer camps, and time spent in a coercive and controlling relationship prior to joining the shamanic cult the musical is based on. They invite us to challenge our collective hyper-fixation on narcissistic cult leaders, turning our attention instead toward understanding why it is that the 'spells' cultic leaders cast over us work so damn well. Music brings dimension to this conversation, as we dive even deeper into what it might actually mean to decolonize the work of cult recovery. How are our cult experiences microcosms of systemic oppression? And why is anti-colonial, anti-racism work so essential and relevant to holistic cult recovery? Teruyo & Lennox apply their neurodivergent artistry to these questions, and it results in what is perhaps this pod's most unique and sound-rich conversation to date.Teruyo (they/them) is a racialized queer, neurodiverse, non-binary theatre artist, anti-oppression activist and academic. Teruyo's encounter with cults and the aftermath of manipulative mind games have fueled their drive to delve into healing and reclaiming identity through anti-colonial and anti-racist cult recovery. Through their academic research and the creation and production of original plays and musical theatre, they aspire to amplify the marginalized voices of the global majority, foster socio-political change, and cultivate trauma-informed artistry.Lennox (they/them) is a neurodiverse, non-binary, queer theatre artist. They've endured the clutches of multiple cults, ranging from religious and spiritual to white supremacy. Ditching society's expectations and cultural boundaries, they've fully embraced their love for writing musicals, giving toxic masculinity the finger. Their creative outlet? Crafting badass socio-political musical stories that resonate with their true calling. They're rewriting the rules and reclaiming their rightful place behind the instruments.Guest Vocalists: Aleyah Erin Lennon & Carter HickeySupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week, Candice sits down with Somatic Trauma Specialist, Magdalena Weinstein. Originally from Chile, Magdalena spent the first 17 years of her life living under the rule of an authoritarian dictatorship. In this episode, she shares about her childhood, her family life, and what motivated her to immigrate to the US in 2004. Magdalena speaks very candidly about the challenges of being in immigrant in America, and about time spent in a series of traumatizing and controlling environments - dictatorship in her formative years that stoked an early hunger for autonomy; years spent as an Iyengar yoga student and teacher striving for whitewashed dominion over her body; and a decade of investment in a coaching program where she experienced mind control and ongoing racial micro-aggressions. She generously shares each of these stories with us, poignantly illustrating what all of these seemingly unrelated experiences have in common. In 2019, Magdalena trained as a trauma specialist; and in the final third of the episode, she helps us to understand how trauma around control gets stored in the body, and what - both individually and collectively - we might be able to do about it. She describes the differences between control and personal agency, particularly when it comes to owning and choosing psychological and somatic states. Then, Magdalena calls on wellness practitioners to trade western idealism for a more realistic and collective approach to the growing challenges we now face as humans.Magdalena Weinstein, SEP (she, her) is a Somatic Trauma Specialist that offers trauma recovery interventions using Somatic Experiencing®, Touch Skills, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), Parts Work and Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy perspectives. Blending the fields of Somatics, Neurology and Social Justice, she is committed to helping individuals and groups transition towards personal, ancestral and collective trauma healing. Her specialties are developmental and complex trauma, C-PTSD, PTSD, chronic conditions, domestic violence and sexual assault trauma and social justice dynamics including racial trauma, immigration trauma and war trauma. Originally from Chile, she was born and raised in Dictatorship for her first 17 years of life and immigrated to USA in 2004.She lives in a rural home in Mendocino, Northern California (unceded Pomo Territory), with her husband, their two kids, dogs, cats and snakes. She has a private practice in her home studio, is an assistant at SE trainings and is a member of the DEI committee at Somatic Experiencing International. She is also finishing the first year of Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy Training.Referenced In This Episode:Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World, by Naomi KleinSapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, by Yuval Noah HarariSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Deconstructing Dogma is a video bonus series hosted exclusively on Patreon. Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to these weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod authentic and ad-free.This week's Patreon Preview features excerpts from bonus episodes DD #31 & #32 where former 'Org' trainer, Jill Pagano, shares about her time in the practice. The complete two-hour convo is available to monthly patrons of the pod. In it, Jill shares:What it's been like listening to the podcast & why she chose to step forward at this time. How she became involved in 'the Org' practice + the grief, loss, and physical pain she experienced when she chose to step away.Her feelings about investing 13 of her prime earning years in the Org; she shares about the long-term impact on her and her family.The three of us discuss:The financial realities of hosting trainings for the Org.How compliance and 'fawning for favor' in the training environment kept many out of the direct line of fire, but did emotional damage nonetheless. The idea of "badmouthing" the practice and how infantilizing it is to be told what we can and cannot say; good-girl conditioning be damned!What a 'call to action' might actually look like when it comes to addressing culty dysfunction in the wellness industry at large. And why the three of us agree that 'saviorship' isn't likely to come from within,You can access the full convo at patreon.com/thedeeperpulse. Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

As a lead-in to this week's episode, Candice spends some time defining cultural appropriation, specifically in western spirituality and wellness spaces. Then things pick up where they left off last week, with the second half of a two-part conversation with artist, activist, and educator, Aleyah-Erin Lennon. Aleyah shares why she was so drawn into the world of wellness and contextualizes how she realized she had to step away. Spiritual appropriation and misuse of ‘the s-word' (shamanism) is explored, along with how unconscious colonial entitlement can be so hard-wired that we, white folks, can become 'takers'. Aleyah offers a deeply compassionate approach to this topic, one that takes into account the cavernous spiritual hunger that drives appropriation; and she shares what her Indigenous mentors have taught her about how we might grow in humility and in our collective spiritual capacity. Aleyah and Candice ponder the question: How might we explore spiritual tools that help and add value to our lives without co-opting, stealing, and perpetuating colonial harm? Cognitive dissonance and emotional triggers are discussed, as well as how an understanding of cult recovery can support us in our anti-racism learning and unlearning. Aleyah invites the investigation of ‘the poverty of whiteness' and shares what it might look like to co-create expressions of spirituality and personal growth that are relationally accountable. The episode wraps with an invitation to support Aleyah and her collaborators to share their knowledge more widely.Aleyah-Erin Lennon (she/her) is a scholar, speaker, poet and musician. Through an anti-colonial and trauma-informed lens, her focus is on healing the disconnection and abuses in the trilogy of our relationships to Self, Others, and Land. Created in partnership with Indigenous Elders, knowledge holders, and friends, he published work weaves diverse cultural narratives, story sharing, and poetry into a landscape of questions concerning our sense of identity and belonging.GoFundMe to Support Aleyah's WorkCommunity Voices For ManoominOsawamick G'TigaaningMother Earth WalkAlso referenced in this episode:The Color Purple, by Alice WalkerConspirituality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became a Health Threat, by Derek Beres, Matthew Remski, & Julian WalkerWhite Women: Everything You Already Know About Your Own Racism and How to Do Better, by Regina Jackson & Saira RaoMy Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies, by Resmaa MenakamPlastic Shamans and Astroturf Sun Dances: New Age Commercialization of Native American Spirituality, by Lisa AldredSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Candice is back on the main feed, asking for help as she deconstructs the striking overlap between cult dynamics and colonial harm. Inspired by the work of BIPOC educators and anti-racism activists, she explores how social location factors into collective cult recovery. Then, artist, activist, and educator, Aleyah-Erin Lennon joins Candice for the first half of a two-part conversation that explores what it might mean, if we, as white women in the world were to take radical responsibility. Aleyah identifies as a second-generation diasporic Irish descendant and white settler Canadian who has lived her entire life in the territories of Anishinaabeg nations. She has been privileged to work alongside and learn from Indigenous communities across the Great Lakes region for the last 15 years in service to their ecological and educational visions. Together, Aleyah and Candice explore what unconscious colonial identities have in common with the cult mindset, picking apart what it might actually mean to break free from the cult of whiteness. Aleyah shares about her background and how a search for spiritual community inspired her to take up decolonizing identity work, and she cites the wisdom of Indigenous mentors who have generously offered their consent and support for this conversation. Decolonization is defined in the context of intergenerational healing on all sides of the colonial and racial divide. Aleyah shares how a threefold methodology of deep listening, critical self-reflection, and embodied action can guide us toward relational accountability. Aleyah shares how reclaiming a connection to her ancestral roots has been pivotal to her living activism and points to how we all might find a deeper sense of meaning and recovery as we grapple with where we're headed.Aleyah-Erin Lennon (she/her) is a scholar, speaker, poet and musician. Through an anti-colonial and trauma-informed lens, her focus is on healing the disconnection and abuses in the trilogy of our relationships to Self, Others, and Land. Created in partnership with Indigenous Elders, knowledge holders, and friends, her published work weaves diverse cultural narratives, story sharing, and poetry into a landscape of questions concerning our sense of identity and belonging.Referenced in this episode:White Privilege, Quantified - Joe PinskerMy Grandmother's Hands - Resmaa MenekamSacred Water Circle – Elder Dorothy TaylorNibi Emosaawdamajig – Dr. Elder Shirley WilliamsCircle of All Nations – Algonquin Elder Grandfather William Commanda-baSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Here's another sneak peek at what's been happening over on Patreon in the ongoing deconstructing dogma series. Every week, Candice sits down with friends and former colleagues to critically examine undue influence and culty indoctrination in the wellness world, and there are now 30+ bonus episodes available to all patrons of the pod. This episode features some of the best moments from recent releases. Excerpts include: Sample cuts from a recent solo episode with Candice where she shares a bit about a recent surge in listenership and all the feels it's bringing up for her & others over in the private After The Org recovery community. Inspired by the work of Matthew Remski, she speaks about survivor shame and also why so many folks double down in defense of the practice. Snippets from a two-part convo with former Org trainer, Dr. Barb Wesson, who joins Tracy & Candice to deconstruct spirituality - sans all the cultiness. How do we recover a sense of meaning in the aftermath of all that dogma? Excerpts from a timely convo with veteran fitness pro, Fiona Winter, who joins Candice & Tracy from Wales to discuss why she recently decided to let her Org license lapse - after two decades. Fiona also shares how she's incorporating greater consent & inclusivity into her teaching practice. The episode wraps with a sample of a long-form interview with Valerie Branch, who worked as a frontline receptionist at 'the Org' back in the early aughts. She & Candice trade stories about the years they spent working together at Org HQ, and Valerie delivers some welcome hindsight wisdom to those just stepping out.If you want more of what this episode has to offer, consider becoming a patron of the pod for as little as $5 a month. Patreon donations keep the podcast ad-free. If you're interested in learning more, visit patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

CW: This episode features reference to emotional abuse and coercion.This week, we pick up where we left off in a two-part conversation with former ‘Org' trainer, Shannon Geltner. The episode opens with Shannon & Tracy deep breathing through their emotional triggers to offer us a peek inside of yet-another disturbing trainer training - and a group sharing ‘exercise' that has cult-vibes written all over it. Shannon shares how it felt being publicly shamed in front of her peers, then shares how going through a divorce (and finding a good therapist) helped her come to terms with her own codependency; which delivered up some startling insights about not only her marriage, but her fourteen-year relationship to the Org. She expresses her grief openly, and shares why she hung onto the practice and her primary source of livelihood for as long as she could, until an interaction with ‘Marissa' the Org's co-founder really opened her eyes. Shannon began expressing her boundaries and was soon after fired as a trainer. She tells us what it was like receiving her demotion letter; not only how it felt but also why she chose to walk away silently and without protest. She delivers a powerful message to her fellow trainers - current and former - who are listening, and Tracy experiences an unexpected swell of emotion that leads us into a shameless and fiery discussion about anger, outrage, and the pressure to forgive. The episode wraps with Shannon's share around her personal experiences at Tony Robbins trainings, and how there is really nothing new under the sun when it comes to packaging and selling self-development. This is long episode with lots of twists and turns, and we're hoping it opens all of us to more nuanced discussions around shared accountability.Shannon Geltner, MS has been teaching conscious, therapeutic movement for 19+ years in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex as well as nationally. She is the owner of Compassion Fitness™ LLC and she is trained in a wide variety of movement modalities, both traditional and non-traditional. Shannon did her Pilates Instructor certification in 2017 with Club Pilates in their 500-hour Teacher Training program, and is currently the General Manager for two local Club Pilates studios in DFW. Pilates certification allows her to apply her years of expertise in anatomy, giving her the ability to create fun, whole body workouts on specialized apparatus, which in turn has helped her overcome injury and heal her own body in a healthy and safe way. In addition to Pilates, Shannon is an Org 1st Degree Black Belt, a former Org Teacher Trainer, a JourneyDance Facilitator, and a Melt Method instructor. Shannon holds a Bachelor of Business Administration in Entrepreneurship and a Masters of Science in Natural Health. She always encourages her students to create a healthy, joyful lifestyle by integrating nutrition and mindful movement into their daily lives. Shannon loves the Pilates community and the conscious movement Pilates creates, and she feels blessed every day to be able to live and teach what she loves!Referenced in this episode:Deep Cut: Post-Cult Shame (Conspirituality podcast)Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

The series continues with a peek inside ‘Org' training ‘cult'ure. Candice opens the episode with a longer than usual intro, sharing details about the Org training hierarchy for the first time as a lead-in to the first half of a two-part convo; one that was originally intended for Patreon but was, in turns out, 'destined' for the main feed. Shannon Geltner was affiliated with the Org for 14 years, progressing through the ranks to become an NGT (or next generation trainer) right alongside good friend of the pod, Tracy Stamper - who also joins this conversation. The convo opens with a discussion about how it feels (scary AF) speaking out in defiance of the Org's cultish indoctrination. Nevertheless, Shannon shares how she felt when the company began soliciting a whole new generation of trainers, years after she'd been so callously fired without explanation. Gossip is discussed, but not the toxic kind; the sort of ‘gossip' that reinforces accountability and keeps us safe from harm. The three share a belly laugh when talking about how, back in the day, they each had to regularly offer up “but it isn't a cult” defense to outsiders who just didn't get it. And then, Shannon shares about her personal journey with the Org; her ‘this is it' moment, and what it was like progressing through the various belt-level trainings. She shares details surrounding the first red flag she remembers, which leads into a discussion about fawning in which Candice reveals a fairly-recent experience with this doe-eyed nervous system adaptation. Shannon offers empathy to all who were (like her) body shamed in the Org training environment, then speaks to what it was like being “courted” as a second-generation trainer. Part 1 wraps with Shannon and Tracy giving us all an insider's peek into the initial recruitment process, as well as the disorienting mixed messages received once they signed on as trainers.Shannon Geltner, MS has been teaching conscious, therapeutic movement for 19+ years in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex as well as nationally. She is the owner of Compassion Fitness™ LLC and she is trained in a wide variety of movement modalities, both traditional and non-traditional. Shannon did her Pilates Instructor certification in 2017 with Club Pilates in their 500-hour Teacher Training program, and is currently the General Manager for two local Club Pilates studios in DFW. Pilates certification allows her to apply her years of expertise in anatomy, giving her the ability to create fun, whole body workouts on specialized apparatus, which in turn has helped her overcome injury and heal her own body in a healthy and safe way. In addition to Pilates, Shannon is an Org 1st Degree Black Belt, a former Org Teacher Trainer, a JourneyDance Facilitator, and a Melt Method instructor. Shannon holds a Bachelor of Business Administration in Entrepreneurship and a Masters of Science in Natural Health. She always encourages her students to create a healthy, joyful lifestyle by integrating nutrition and mindful movement into their daily lives. Shannon loves the Pilates community and the conscious movement Pilates creates, and she feels blessed every day to be able to live and teach what she loves! Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Deconstructing Dogma is a video bonus series hosted exclusively on Patreon. Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to these weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod authentic and ad-free.CW: This episode makes detailed reference to verbal abuse + sexual abuse allegations made againstTony Robbins and his staff. This week's Patreon Preview features excerpts from bonus episodes DD #26 & #27 where 'Org' instructor, Lucy Page joins Candice & Tracy to deconstruct culty patterns around accountability. In this preview, Lucy shares about events surrounding a moment back in March when the Org COO posted a photo on Facebook of her & the Org founder sitting in the business offices attending a virtual Tony Robbins training. After fielding concerns from multiple students, Lucy reached out to the COO - who is also her former mentor - on a personal thread with a heads up and a professional request. Listen in to hear how it all played out from Lucy's point of view.You can access the full convo (DD #26 & 27) at patreon.com/thedeeperpulse. In the complete two-part conversation we discuss:Lucy's history with the Org & its new leadership.How the incident above, in many ways, led Lucy to discover this podcast. What it's been like listening & finding parallels within her own community.The culty commonalities between 'the Org' and the Tony Robbins training environment.LAGTs (large group awareness trainings) & specifically why the whole breakdown-to-breakthrough training model is so damn problematic.What Lucy's former marriage taught her about narcissistic abuse.Plus, is change really on the horizon when it comes to the next generation of Org leadership? Lucy weighs in.Referenced in this episode:Article: Tony Robbins - abuse allegationsVideo: Nanine McCool stands up to Tony Robbins & his criticisms of the Me Too Movement.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

CW:  This episode features reference to emotional abuse, cult dynamics, and coercion. We're back with Part 2 of our convo with former ‘Org' studio owner, Mark Frossard. If you missed part one, you'll definitely wanna start there. This conversation was recorded during Pride month and we pick things back up just as Mark is sharing about annual Pride events he led during his tenure as a studio owner. He and his former business partner didn't always see eye-to-eye, and this leads into a discussion of how social movements are very often appropriated and commodified by corporations. And how the experiences and perspectives of those who are supposedly being represented get erased entirely. Mark then continues with his story, sharing about rising tensions at the studio, as well as painful realizations he began having around his business partnership. When he finally chooses to use ‘the a-word' and name aloud the abuse he and others are experiencing, chaos ensues and Mark is emotionally isolated from his community - and from speaking his truth. He shares details around attempts at business mediation and how it came to be that - despite being the general manager and the majority owner of the studio - he eventually surrendered to a $0 buyout. Mark reveals why he believes the Org founder was in many ways instrumental to these failed negotiations, supporting his claims with details surrounding her communications with him directly. He speaks with vulnerability about his exit and the sorrow and humiliation that he felt during his last days at the studio. Then, he opens up about his healing process - what it's been like to experience trauma triggers for the first time, and why continuing to dance has been such a pivotal part of his healing journey. Finally, Mark speaks directly to his community for the first time since leaving, reminding us all why the compassion and humility he was once shamed for is, in fact, his superpower. Mark Frossard is a creative, multi-faceted artist living in Santa Fe, NM. He joined The Org in 2010 and eventually became majority owner of a successful dance-fitness studio. Mark left The Org and his studio in 2021 after experiencing the effects of cult-dynamics and narcissistic abuse. Since then, Mark, his husband, and a group of friends continue to dance together without the confines of any particular organization or style. Currently, Mark is an Adventure Coordinator at a luxury resort. He guides hikes, art classes, and creates memorable experiences! Instagram: @markfrossardarts Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week, the 'cult'ure series circles back to ‘the Org'. Tracy Stamper joins Candice once again for a two-part interview with Mark Frossard. In 2013, Mark became the majority owner in an internationally-recognized movement studio that became a destination for Org affiliates worldwide. But in 2021, he stepped away from the practice for good due to a falling out with his former business partner who was a rising star in the practice. Mark was not permitted to speak out at the time. Two years later, he breaks his silence, revealing details about his experience publicly for the very first time. In Part 1 of this conversation, Mark shares how it was his passion for art that first introduced him to the Org practice and the studio space that would eventually become his home away from home. He speaks about the red flags that were present in the Org training environment - as well as in his business partnership - and shares why he thinks he excused the culty dysfunction for so long. Mark recounts what it was like being one of the only men in the practice, which leads to a discussion of gender norms and a general lack of diversity & representation at the Org. Mark bravely opens up about the somatic dominance and body shaming that he experienced as a teacher and choreographer; and about how he was deliberately shut out of legacy negotiations going on behind closed doors. Little did he know where it would all leave him - heartbroken and empty-handed.Mark Frossard is a creative, multi-faceted artist living in Santa Fe, NM. He joined The Org in 2010 and eventually became majority owner of a successful dance-fitness studio. Mark left The Org and his studio in 2021 after experiencing the effects of cult-dynamics and narcissistic abuse. Since then, Mark, his husband, and a group of friends continue to dance together without the confines of any particular organization or style. Currently, Mark is an Adventure Coordinator at a luxury resort. He guides hikes, art classes, and creates memorable experiences! Instagram: @markfrossardarts Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Candice is back with another solo episode, this time asking some big questions: What is gaslighting & why is it such a thing? Why are so many people allergic to the word victim? And is spiritual dogma getting in the way of relational accountability?  The episode opens with a peek into Conspirituality - and a new book by the same name - leading into an exploration of spiritual supremacy and how/why social stigmas around victimhood have become so prevalent. Candice shares personally about her long and messy history with gaslighting, and how devotion to new ageism only added to her confusion. She challenges the notion that all suffering is meant, then breaks down the cognitive biases that fuel a victim blaming/shaming culture. True victimhood isn't something we choose, and it's very often shame-inducing because of how it is culturally conflated with unlovability and learned helplessness; examples of this are offered, as well as a critical look at the impossible standards that victims (and/or advocates who speak out on their behalf) are held to. Tone policing is defined and examined as a deflection of accountability, as well as other tools in the arsenal of those who are truly ‘playing the victim'… aka co-opt the language of the oppressed in order to justify retaliation in the face of restorative resistance. This is a jam-packed episode as a lead-in to the final few conversations in the ‘cult'ure series - which will roll out from now through August. Referenced in this episode:Conspirituality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became a Health Threat, by Derek Beres, Matthew Remski, & Julian WalkerConspirituality podcast episode #148: Marianne Williamson & Asshole JesusNicki Clyne Leaves Keith Raniere - her statementConflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair, by Sarah SchulmanShiny Happy People (documentary) on Amazon PrimeClip of Tony Robbins & Nanine McCool - Unleash The Power Within - March 2018Punishment Is Not Accountability, article by Kate McCord with the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action AllianceSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Deconstructing Dogma is a video bonus series hosted exclusively on Patreon. Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to these weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod authentic and ad-free. This week's Patreon Preview features excerpts from bonus episodes #23 where Candice & Tracy deconstruct the psychological coping mechanism known as dissociation.DD #23 touches upon:Dissociation - what is it and how does it relate to cult dynamics?Altered states. Hovering, meditation, & mindfulness, oh my!Is it really a good idea to be 'present' all the damn time?Candice shares how she thinks a lifetime dissociation has impacted her memory long-term?Tracy shares her own journey with dissociation, then poses a question: Is it possible to dissociate within, via sensation?Expert input helps us to understand submissive states and how/why 'derealization' is normalized in wellness spaces.Does dissociation play a role in cognitive dissonance?Referenced in this episode:Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships, by Janja LalichTerror, Love, and Brainwashing, by Alexandra SteinListen in for a sample of the above, and visit patreon.com/thedeeperpulse to gain access to the whole episode. Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Deconstructing Dogma is a video bonus series hosted exclusively on Patreon. Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to these weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod authentic and ad-free. Learn more at patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.This week's Patreon Preview features excerpts from bonus episodes #20 & #21 with Candice and friend of the pod, Monica Welty. Topics include:A peek at the new age 'inner asshole' aka: the downside of culty wellness indoctrination and how it can show up.Why the popular wellness adage “the body never lies” can be so damn problematic.How striving for an ideal isn't necessary healthy & why this critical distinction matters.Are there ‘cults' everywhere we look, or are we just paranoid?Dissociation; is it always a bad thing?Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

In part two with former MLM Coach, Jennifer Rajala, she shares her struggle to sustain top-tier status at Arbonne. In 2020, despite being investigated by the FTC, dozens of MLMs chose to leverage vulnerability and ramp up recruitment during a global pandemic, and Jennifer tells us why this didn't sit well with her. She also shares how the body-shaming culture at Arbonne impacted her personally, and why she decided to join the inner circle at Rank Makers as an MLM coach. When her clients weren't getting the results that the high-dollar investment promised, Jennifer assumed she just needed more training, so she doubled-down, powering through a series of 'mastery' events with Tony Robbins. Jennifer tells us what those workshops were like - the tools that were helpful and as well as the misogynistic red flags that were waving wildly. Jennifer also offers us an invaluable peek behind the curtain when it comes to persuasive marketing and the carefully-calculated manipulations that leaders use to justify coercive sales-funnel strategies. Jennifer shares why she left Arbonne and was subsequently excommunicated from Rank Makers when stress led to a health crisis and a series of wake-up calls. The episode wraps with Jennifer's message of hope to anyone who is concerned that their loved one is stuck in the world of MLM.Jennifer Rajala graduated from Michigan State University with a BS in Social Sciences & Criminal Justice. Before she was involved with MLM, she worked for State Government investigating cases of child abuse & neglect. Immediately after exiting the world of MLM & Coaching, she began speaking out as a very vocal anti-MLM activist through podcast appearances and on TikTok and Instagram. She currently works for two different non-profits (both helping kids) and loves being active in her community without feeling like she has to recruit everyone. She lives in Michigan with her husband Derek and their three daughters. She loves creating content, speaking, educating, and being a voice for others. IG: @jennifer.rajala | Tiktok: @jennifer.rajalaReferenced in this episode:Jennifer's IG HighlightJulie Anderson - anti-MLMBuzzFeed re: Tony RobbinsPonzinomics, by Robert L. FitzPatrickCombating Cult Mind Control, by Steven HassanTake Back Your Life, by Janja LalichSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Jennifer Rajala's TikTok page reads: “For 8 years I was deep in two MLM CULTs. I got people in, now I help them GTFO.” In part one of a two-parter, former MLM Coach, Jennifer Rajala, sits down with Candice to share her story. When Jennifer was pregnant with her second child, she left behind a career in social work to join the world of multi-level marketing. After a few years of high-minded hustle, she became a top-tier earner and was offered coveted White Mercedes status as an Arbonne rep. But despite her continual hard work (and the literal street cred) life as a successful MLM'er didn't pan out as promised. So she doubled down, expanding into the world of MLM Coaching. Jennifer was soon invited to join the 100K Inner Circle at Rank Makers, a culty collective of network marketing entrepreneurs who follow the daily-drop guidance of MLM Power Coach, Ray Higdon. Jennifer shares how her journey in the world of MLM had her hustling nonstop, perpetually leveling-up but continually unable to deliver consistent results for herself or her clients. She describes the slow burn indoctrination of MLM ‘cult'ure and how fixation on personal mindset kept her from seeing the many flaws inherent in the so-called business model. What happens when the world of multi-level marketing collides with status-driven power coaching? Even more people get taken advantage of. A few high-earning online consultants make bank through exploitative labor practices, teaching others how to employ the same hyper-capitalistic predatory sales practices that they themselves engage in. And all of this is in service to an industry with a 97-99% failure rate. Jennifer offers us a brave and unabashed peek behind the curtain.Jennifer Rajala graduated from Michigan State University with a BS in Social Sciences & Criminal Justice. Before she was involved with MLM, she worked for State Government investigating cases of child abuse & neglect. Immediately after exiting the world of MLM & Coaching, she began speaking out as a very vocal anti-MLM activist through podcast appearances and on TikTok and Instagram. She currently works for two different non-profits (both helping kids) and loves being active in her community without feeling like she has to recruit everyone. She lives in Michigan with her husband Derek and their three daughters. She loves creating content, speaking, educating, and being a voice for others. She hopes to write a memoir or a book one day and do something with kids to help them to learn about coercive control.Instagram: @jennifer.rajala | Tiktok: @jennifer.rajalaSupport the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Deconstructing Dogma is a video bonus series hosted exclusively on Patreon. Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to these weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod authentic and ad-free. Learn more at patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.This week's preview is Deconstructing Dogma w/ Susan McCulley. Former Org instructor Susan McCulley joins Tracy & Candice for a deconstruction of cult fitness norms. The conversation centers around a singular question: How can we do movement and fitness differently? Excerpts from DD #19 & #20.Susan McCulley is a mindful movement leader, artist, and writer. She trained with 'the Org' from 2000-2006 and 'after being on the fence for dozen years' she chose to separate officially in 2020. She is the creator of The Age of Becoming: Embodied Practices Empowering Women over 50 community which offers free movement practices & workshops, connection & community and more. Her 30-Lesson audio course, Building Balance in Your Body & Life was published on the Insight Timer meditation app in early 2022. Trained in a variety of mindful movement practices, she particularly loves guiding embodied awareness with people of all abilities and experiences, in groups of all sizes, both in person and on-line. She is passionate about supporting people as they connect with the inherent wisdom of the body and take their practice into life. Her teaching schedule, classes, books and art are available at www.susanmcculley.com.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week on the pod, we explore one-on-one cult dynamics with memoirist, Emma Stevens. Emma's story begins with a peek inside of her first book - The Gathering Place: An Adoptee Story. She shares why she felt compelled to share her story of relinquishment and how the industry of adoption is problematic and ‘a little culty' in sense that it doesn't always serve the best interests of the children it serves. Emma describes being adopted into an authoritarian family and how having so little room for individuation has made her more susceptible to cultic influence as an adult. The conversation then turns to her second memoir, A Fire Is Coming, where she shares what it was like to fall victim to a narcissistic therapist who coerced Emma to leave her marriage and move in with her. She describes how this individual fostered a slow-burn dependency that preyed on Emma's core wounds and fostered a disorganized attachment bond. Thanks to support from the outside, Emma was able to eventually move away from this relationship and take legal action against her abuser; but it would take her years to come to terms with her experience. Sobriety, in every sense of the word, paved way for deep healing, and now Emma is bravely sharing her story with the world in hopes of bringing awareness to the cult-of-one dynamics that are so common in abusive one-on-one relationships.Emma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. It is Emma's desire to be part of the movement that is dedicated to help bring forth change to the way our world views the needs and support of adopted individuals, as well as bring awareness of the exploitation that can occur by the hands of counselors, therapists, and other healthcare professionals. A Fire Is Coming is Emma Stevens' second book. Her first was The Gathering Place: An Adoptee's Story. She has an undergraduate degree in journalism and has completed Master's level course work in psychology, specializing in Marriage, Family, and Child counseling. She has two adult children and two cat children who she adores.Referenced In This Episode:A Fire Is Coming, by Emma StevensThe Gathering Place, by Emma StevensPhoenix Rising - HBOSurviving R Kelly - NetflixBad Vegan - NetflixIf you'd like support with in a cult-of-one partnership, reach out to the Domestic Violence Hotline - 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week, we're stepping outside the bounds of wellness 'cult'ure etiquette with an honest peek behind the curtain of a multi-billion dollar industry - YOGA. Cultural appropriation. Wealthy white-centric standards of wellness. Spiritualized abuse of power. These are some of the mainstays of western yoga. Sybil Nance has been involved in the world of yoga since 1994 and has worked as an international teacher trainer, studio co-owner, and yoga therapist. In this episode, she shares some of her personal experiences and hard-earned insights around retreat culture, trauma-informed considerations, and culty norms like performative trauma therapy. Candice shares about her own experiences in yoga/wellness training environments and how an understanding of confirmation bias has helped her to demystify 'the practice.' Sybil grapples with her former role as a teacher trainer and how she was trained to mimic a teaching style that, upon closer inspection, was traumatizing and coercive. She speaks openly about the regret she experienced when she realized she was paying her trauma forward. She and her former colleagues have since reunited and made repairs with students they once trained, and she shares how the impact has rippled outward. More recently, Sybil was delivered a white woman wake-up call during a trip to India, and her story inspires a discussion around the insidiousness of a colonizing headspace. Finally, Sybil shares why she thinks the idea of 'making a living' as a yoga teacher is problematic and may be actively contributing to ever-increasing inequity. Sybil Nance has worked in the yoga world since the early 90's as a international teacher trainer, the co-founder of a small boutique yoga studio, and a teacher trainer in yoga therapy. Currently Sybil offers small virtual programs supporting women as a spiritual mentor. She is trauma informed and she sits with women as they uncover their story of origin trauma patterns. She is a mom, step mom, sister, daughter, aunt, and grandmother. She is open to the work of repair and is fascinated in how varied and spectacular that work is. web: lovesybil.com | IG: @sybil_sukhaReferenced in this episode:Practice And All Is Coming: Abuse, Cult Dynamics, and Healing In Yoga And Beyond, by Matthew RemskiAmerican Detox: The Myth of Wellness, by Kerri KellyEmbrace Yoga's Roots: Courageous Ways To Deepen Your Yoga Practice, by Susanna Barkataki | Susanna Barkataki on InstagramBikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator (Netflix)Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

The ‘cult'ure series continues with a carefully-curated sneak peek at what's been happening in the deconstructing dogma series - streaming exclusively over on Patreon. Every week, Candice sits down with friends and former colleagues to critically examine culty indoctrination in the wellness world, and you can now access 14+ hours of bonus content over on Patreon. This episode features some of the best moments from those convos to date, including excerpts from a dozen episodes with regular contributor, Tracy Stamper. She and Candice have been unlearning out loud as part of their cult recovery. Excerpts include: a critical look at day-one Org teachings and what happens when helpful tools meant to liberate self-expression do just the opposite; coercive marketing and recruitment practices and how they're used to justify exploitative labor practices down the road (and up the hierarchy); culty language and how damn difficult it can be to lose the lingo and learn to think critically again; and ‘triple isolation' what it is and how to recover from it. You'll hear more from Monica Welty in a Patreon-exclusive bonus where she and Candice continue their main feed conversation and discuss how to make meaning without making shit up. Former Org trainer, Maria Skinner, joins the pod and poses some hard questions about Org leadership and the differences between transparency and TMI. Also, a sample from a recent two-part Patreon release with yoga mentor and former yoga teacher trainer, Sybil Nance. Sybil and Candice discuss retreat red flags and how to make repairs in the aftermath of our inherited trauma. And then the episode wraps with an intro to Susan McCulley, who's up next in the deconstructing dogma series. Patreon donations keep the podcast ad-free. If you're interested in learning more, visit patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.Support the showThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

One year ago, Monica Welty shared her story with TDP listeners on the pod - see Ep.29 Grief & Gratitude - and now she's back for another heart-to-heart about moving on after loss. Candice opens the episode with a commentary on spiritual bypassing, and then Monica joins her to share recent insights she's been having in her own process of cult recovery. Monica spent a decade training at ‘the Org' in addition to other new age wellness circles, all of which emphasize radical body awareness, the law of attraction, and magical thinking. She describes how her grief was compounded by new age indoctrination when she tragically lost her newborn son, her fertility, and her marriage; and how despite the initial benefits, her new age worldview came crashing down. Monica also opens up about how childhood conditioning combined with a culturally-absorbed pressure to spiritually bypass contributed to denial surrounding her husband's ongoing infidelities, and Candice chimes in with her own personal reckoning with cult of one relational dynamics. Candice shares how she has restored agency when it comes to trusting her instincts on the other side of her culty experiences; and then together she and Monica discuss the dangers of the new age there-are-no-victims mindset, how it's shaped by privilege, and why it's so important to seek out spaces where we can show up authentically. This conversation a two-parter; the second half rolls out over on Patreon later this week when Monica & Candice pick up where they left of with a discussion on what it's like to find meaning on the other side of new age disillusionment.Referenced In This Episode:Spiritual Bypassing - Robert Augustus MastersTone Policing & Privilege - Everyday FeminismBonus Episode on Patreon - drops Friday, April 7thThe stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

CW: This episode contains descriptions of child abuse and reference to addition, mental illness, and suicide. Please listen with care.In December of last year, I released my conversation with Trina Studebaker who shared about the fourteen years she and her family spent an abusive religious cult (see episode #42). In addition to offering a refreshingly-honest peek into her own personal journey, Trina spoke about her regrets as a mother; how due to cultic indoctrination, she'd been unable to protect her children from the wrath of the cult's fundamentalist rhetoric and the heavy hand of their father who had himself been raised in the group. Trina wept as she described the terror that had been unleashed on her eldest child, Christian. Not long after #42 dropped, Christian requested the opportunity to offer his own honest-yet-hopeful perspective, and it's an honor to share his story with you today. His is a story that is difficult to hear, but remarkably inspiring. Christian speaks candidly about what it was like living in a home where he was continually beaten and gaslit around the helpless rage he experienced as a result of ongoing abuse. He shares how he spent the first half of his life internalizing the messages he received at home and at school and how he escaped the pain through addiction before turning a corner through 12-step recovery and trauma-informed therapy. Christian has since healed his relationship with his father and reclaimed his right to love, compassion, and opportunities that were once unimaginable. Listen in on his uncommon journey from solitary confinement as a ten-year old to the Graduate in Architecture program at MIT. Christian bravely reminds us that it's possible to heal, and to build a bridge from resilience to recovery.The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

At age sixteen, Lindsay Spyker woke in the middle of the night to two strangers hovering over her bed and by order of her parents, she was transported to Cross Creek - a youth ‘rehabilitation' center in La Verkin, Utah where she would spend the next two years of her life. Today, she shares her harrowing experience with us. The 'troubled teen' industry is a multi-billion dollar money machine that preys on parental anxiety and uses deceptive marketing tactics to sell a high-dollar dogmatic approach to ‘treatment' wherein children are separated from their families and indoctrinated to believe that they are flawed and in need of fixing. Each year, countless youth are sent to therapeutic boarding schools, youth rehab centers, and conversion camps, many of which are led by untrained staff and special interests groups. There have been tens of thousands of reports of abuse and psychological coercion in these environments spanning many decades; and yet, they continue to operate across the US and abroad. Breaking Code Silence - now known as Unsilenced - has been shining a spotlight on survivor stories since 2014, and Lindsay is here today to share her experience with us and to advocate for accountability and widespread legislative change. She shares what it was like for her as a ‘uncontrollable' child as well as the terror of being sent away as a teen. She offers a peek behind the curtain at Cross Creek and shares openly about the abuse she witnessed and suffered there. Today's episode is bid for collective activism on behalf of children everywhere and a cautionary tale reminding us all (parents especially) that youth rehab facilities aren't always what the shiny brochures promise them to be.Referenced in this episode:Spotlight on Ventura School (article per intro)Facts About The Troubled Teen IndustryBreaking Code SilenceUnsilenced.orgNational Youth Rights AssociationWWASP SurvivorsThis Is Paris (documentary) Paris: The Memoir (book)The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.