Podcasts about fat talk

Before we start the show today…Have you donated to the Me Little Me Virtual Food Pantry? This amazing organization works to get low-income folks (many of whom are in eating disorder recovery) fed — and with the food of their choosing. Meaning yes, ultra processed foods that bring comfort and convenience, and yes to beloved cultural foods…and yes to trusting folks in need to know what they need.We're trying to raise $12,000 and add 50 recurring donors to their rosters by June 1 AND WE ARE SO CLOSE TO OUR GOAL. But we need your help to crush it! Thank you!You're listening to Burnt Toast! Today, my conversation is with the iconic Sarai Walker. Sarai is the author of The Cherry Robbers and Dietland, which came out in May 2015—and is celebrating its 10th anniversary this month.Dietland is one of those books that means so much to me, it's hard to put into words. I consider it a foundational text of the body liberation movement of the past decade. It was adapted as a television series starring Joy Nash for AMC in 2018. It's just one of those books—that inducted so many of us into conversations about fatness, feminism, radical social action. Sarai has also lectured on feminism and body image internationally. Her articles and essays have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian and elsewhere, and she worked as a writer and editor on an updated version of Our Bodies, Ourselves.I asked Sarai to join me today to reflect on what 10 years of Dietland has meant to her. We also talk a lot about the very mixed experience of being a public fat person, as well as being a woman, and a writer, in midlife. You will love this conversation.And! If you order Dietland and Fat Talk together from Split Rock Books, you can take 20% off the combo with the code FATLAND. If you've already bought fat talk from Split Rock, you can still take 10% off Dietland or any book we talk about on the podcast, using the code FATTALK. Today's episode is free but if you value this conversation, please consider supporting our work with a paid subscription. Burnt Toast is 100% reader- and listener-supported. We literally can't do this without you.Episode 195 TranscriptVirginiaThis is really a big thrill for me. Dietland came out in 2015, we're here to celebrate its 10th anniversary. I read it pretty soon after it came out, and I remember reading about Plum and Calliope House and the Jennifer vigilantes who were killing all the evil men, and just thinking, how is she in my brain? How is she writing my whole heart in this story? So to start us off with what is probably an impossible question: How does that feel, to have contributed something that is so important to the canon? And by canon, I mean the fat feminist literary canon.SaraiIt's funny, as an author, I don't know if I feel it the way you're describing it. Man, I hope that that's the case! I guess it's for other people to decide what a book's legacy is, whether it's important or not. What I can say—you know, the book turns 10 this month, and it has really meant a lot to me over the years that people have just connected with it in such a positive way.People related to Plum's story, they really felt that I put into words something that only they had felt, which was one of the things that I really had to work hard on in the book, because I had all these feelings about my own experience with my own body. And I was like, how do I put that into words? So that was the struggle of writing the book and being able to do that. I was so happy when people really felt that the book could speak for them in certain ways, that it gave them a voice.I still hear from people! I heard from somebody just yesterday who said the book changed their life. We live in an age where so many things just seem disposable, and people forget about things and move on really quickly. Dietland, whatever its legacy may be, it has had a long life.VirginiaWe should say, for folks who don't know publishing: For a book to still be in print 10 years later is incredible. The vast majority of books have a year, two years, and then they're done. It is a huge accomplishment, and a huge contribution.SaraiIt means a lot to me. It's getting a new French publication and a new translation over there. So, you know, my girl keeps on going. And it's funny, because I think one of the things that people enjoyed about the book was the anger and the rage in it, and the revenge fantasy narrative about Jennifer.At the same time, some people were like, oh, well, things aren't that bad. You're exaggerating. Fast forward from 2015 to 2025, and things are worse than I could have ever imagined back then.VirginiaYou downplayed it a little bit.SaraiExactly. So I feel in this weird way, kind of vindicated? That's not a great feeling. But it's just so weird that the 10th anniversary is coming at a time when there's this huge backlash against feminism, against fat. Even something as watered down as body positivity is under attack, you know? It just tells you how bad things are. So in that sense, it's sort of bittersweet to have the anniversary at this time, because things are really just heartbreaking and scary right now.VirginiaBut also: We need the book more than ever. We need the Dietland story more than ever, because things are so scary right now. It gives us a way of articulating that. It gives us a place to put those feelings.SaraiI hope that new readers find the book now in this new climate that we're in and people who read it before might revisit it. I've actually thought of writing some new Jennifer stories. I feel like they would have to be so, so violent and so filled with rage, I don't know if they would be healthy for me, but I've thought about unleashing Jennifer on MAGA.VirginiaI personally am very here for this and yery, very supportive of this idea. I think there would be an audience. I would really love to see Jennifer take on MAGA and MAHA and RFK Jr. in particular.SaraiIf I end up in prison, though, I don't know.VirginiaI'm hearing that concern, as we're saying it out loud. Fictionalized versions of these things, perhaps.SaraiNames changed.VirginiaI mean, you're busy, you're doing lots of things, but it would be a public service.Many more folks discovered Dietland after it became a TV show, which aired in 2018. It was created by Marti Noxon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame. And it starred the incredible Joy Nash. And we only got 10 magic episodes. It's a really great season, but we only got the one season. I would love to hear how you felt about the show? I've always wondered what that feels like, to have a novel go into on the screen. It's got to be such a strange experience.SaraiIt is strange and surreal. Looking back now, it's hard to believe that it happened. I think so many writers do get their book optioned, but to actually have it not just optioned, but then go into production and become a television series is pretty rare. So I feel lucky that I had that.The show premiered three years after the book was published, which is so fast, but that was kind of the golden age of TV, I think.It was a great experience. Marti really welcomed me in. I went out to the writer's room, and I worked as a consultant. I got to visit the set in New York. And basically the the 10 episodes that we got were the whole book. So, I'm really sad that it didn't go on, that we didn't get at least a season two, preferably five seasons would have been great. But AMC just kind of bailed out on it. There was a lot of drama there going on behind the scenes that had nothing to do with the show that contributed to that.When the show was canceled, one of the cast members posted something on social media saying, “I'm so tired of shows about women that try and do interesting and groundbreaking things just being canceled and not given a chance to grow.” It's very hard to build an audience in one ten episode season. So I just felt like the show wasn't given that chance. And so that makes it a little bit bittersweet. But I treasure the ten episodes that we did get. It's an incredible privilege that we got that.Amd the show was pretty faithful to the book, actually, I thought. When I got there to the writer's room, they were already at work and they were using it as their Bible and I was this kind of like goddess of this world. It was really weird.VirginiaThat's amazing.SaraiAll these people working on something that came from my head. It was surreal.VirginiaAnd Joy as Plum—she's amazing and really embodies the character.SaraiShe is so great. I just love Joy. When I was living out in LA we used to go out to lunch, and she's so fun and just so sweet. And, yeah, I really loved working with her, and having her play Plum.VirginiaSo you mentioned feeling like a goddess in the writers room. But putting this out there did launch you as a Public Facing Fat Person, which I put in capital letters. It's an experience that that I've had, a little bit as well. And it is a real mixed bag. It's just really a weird experience to be professionally fat, especially because, in your case, your subsequent work has had nothing to do with fatness. And yet, I'm sure this is still something that comes up.SaraiYeah, I mean, you know what it's like to be publicly fat. Everyone reacts to it differently. I'm a novelist, so I'm very introverted. The book was published in 2015 and then the paperback in 2016 and the British edition, which was a whole wild ride with the media over there.VirginiaOh god, I am sorry. I know and I'm sorry.SaraiYeah. It made our media look okay!VirginiaNo, it's terrible. The British media is so awful in general, and it's so specifically fatphobic. Anytime I've done anything with the British media, it's been a deeply scarring experience.SaraiIt was awful. I had a big newspaper over there wanted me to write this big article for them, and they're like, “You have to put your weight in the article.”VirginiaI mean, what?SaraiAnd then another website, this feminist website, was like “We want pictures of you to use as stock photos for other articles on body positivity.”VirginiaI'm sorry, can you not find other fat people??SaraiI'm the only one that exists. I don't know if you know that, but I'm the only one.And so, I had years of this. I was on NPR, talking about being fat. I was on MSNBC. I was on other radio shows. I mean, that's the game, right? And at that time, “obesity epidemic” rhetoric was a really big thing. So my book had this hook, which isn't common for novels, but I got all these interviews and so I had to go along with it, and go out there.On the one hand, it's really radical to be like, “Yeah, I'm fat,” and to speak about it in a neutral or positive way. It's radical. It's a taboo. And there aren't a lot of taboos left. But it also just was hard to constantly have my body mentioned all the time. I remember Julianna Margulies, who was on the TV show, did an interview on a podcast talking about me and said something like, “Oh, Sarai's a big girl.” Which is fine. I mean, that's the thing, that's what I wrote about. And that's what it was like, actors, radio hosts, journalists, all referring to me as big or fat. And I'm not blaming them at all, but it was just the effect it had on me over time, was like, I started to kind of feel like a fat lady in like a circus or something. But I was reduced to the it was always about my bodyVirginiaAnd you're like, “I'm actually a writer. I have this whole incredible ability to invent a world. Not many people can do that. Could we maybe talk about that?” Just a thought.SaraiIt was really hard for me. I thought I would love being in the spotlight, and it was harder than I thought it would be.VirginiaI appreciate you saying that. I think it is really hard. I've had a smaller experience with it, and that was enough. I don't want more than I've had. I have a friend who says, “You don't really know how you feel about a book until three years after the book came out. You need that time to survive.” The whole experience of launching a book—especially if a book does well—is like you're basically disassociating a lot of the time to get through all the interviews and the press and the backlash and the trolls and whatever it creates. And then your nervous system needs time to slowly absorb what you just experienced. For me, one piece of it is like, okay, that was enough. I don't need more scrutiny on my body or my life. We don't owe the world that. And there's a weird expectation that because you made a thing or wrote a thing that people are connecting with, you somehow owe them more of yourself.SaraiAnd it's like you're saying, if you kind of step back, it's like, am I disappointing people? And I don't want to do that.VirginiaBut I'm still a person with a life and my own needs.SaraiI've always been fat. When I was a kid and growing up as a young adult, I was deeply ashamed of being fat. And I had the kind of the experience of Plum in Dietland, where I eventually experienced liberation about my body. But that trauma doesn't go away. So having everybody talk about me being fat all the time, it kind of triggers off things that you thought you had dealt with, or were at peace with. Then all of a sudden, it's like picking in a scab all the time.Even in the writers room for Dietland, I was the only fat woman in there. So that was my role. I'm the fat person. I have to tell you what it's like to be fat. And it was just always focusing on that. And that's what happens when you put out a book about that subject. I'm not really complaining about it. It was just harder than I thought it would be and it took a toll on me.VirginiaIt's a weird experience, and it's weird that it's a necessary part of getting this conversation into the mainstream.When Fat Talk came out, Aubrey Gordon texted me and was like, “I'm checking in to see how you're doing, because the book's doing well” Because, obviously, she's had lots of experience as a public fat person. And she was like, “Thanks for taking your turn in the trenches.” And that is kind of how it feels. In order to keep this conversation going around fat liberation and body liberation, we do need to keep putting this work out there. Somebody has to go to the front of the line and take all the hits for a while. And you did it at a time when not many people were getting a big stage to do that. And without a network of other people who had done it, maybe. So thank you.SaraiOh, well, you're welcome. And thank you for everything you do. Because I remember after your New York Times interview, I DMed you. I was like, “Are you okay?” Because I know what it's like to write something and the New York Times people go nuts when it's about fat. I'm like, are you all right? Because we have to look out for each other, you know?VirginiaI really appreciated it when you did that. It wasn't the most fun experience in my life. When we were talking about doing this episode, you were also saying how, as a writer you have gone on to write things that don't have anything to do with fatness. It's not like being a journalist on a beat. So I'm sure that's also challenging, that you're like, this can't always be the most interesting thing about me. That's not fair.SaraiYeah. I mean, my second novel, The Cherry Robbers—VirginiaWhich I loved!SaraiOh, thank you. That was historical. The novel took place mostly in the 1950s. I wanted something totally different. I didn't want to be in the contemporary culture. When the book came out, it got a glowing review in The New York Times, and great reviews, but people just weren't interested in talking to me anymore.I mean, part of that's is the publishing world thing, where your debut is like a debutante ball, and everybody wants to talk to you. And then once it's your second or third book, it's like, oh, yeah, we moved on from you. Sorry, I sound really jaded right now! But without that kind of a newsy hook, people just weren't interested really in talking to me anymore about the book. I think you could be tempted to say, “Okay, well, I'm going to write another book about fatness so I can get back in the media attention.” But no. As you say, other people have stepped up in their writing about it, and they're doing the work on it now. I had my time, I had my voice. I'm not saying I'll never write about being fat again. I'm sure I'll write an essay or who knows what, but I am just doing other things now. I've tried to carve out my space as a writer who is fat and who writes about all different kinds of things.VirginiaNo one needs a thin writer to keep writing about thinness. No one needs a male writer to keep writing about the experience of being a man. It's only when you have some kind of marginalization that people then expect that to be everything you write and think about. As opposed to saying, this is a person who writes and thinks about lots of different things. And happens to be this identity, and cares a lot about that identity and has thoughts about it. But every piece of work doesn't need to be defined by that.SaraiYeah. I mean, I live as a fat person. That's my reality. I'm not running away from it. It is who I am. It's inextricably linked to who I am. But I as a as a writer, as a person, I get bored easily. I want new challenges. I want to write new types of stories.In my next novel, the narrator is fat. But I only mention it once in the novel, so it's sort of like playing around with, yeah, this character is fat, but that's not really that relevant to the story that I'm telling. It's there, and it kind of comes up in other ways, but it's not the whole story. So kind of an evolution, I guess, too, of how I'm writing about fat, at least in fiction.VirginiaThat's where we need to get with representation—where every story about a fat character should not be just about their experience of fatness. That's so reductive. We need more characters that happen to be fat, that are doing other things. SaraiYeah, I think that that's the ultimate goal. I don't think we're there yet in any kind of medium. But, yeah, that would be the dream.VirginiaWe're working towards it.You were also saying that you feel like just a very different kind of writer now than when you wrote Dietland, which is a book with so much anger and fire in it. It's a gauntlet thrown. You described yourself as feeling “less fiery and more muted now,” but I also wonder if this is just being older and wiser and maybe a little more jaded— but also clearer about which mountains you're willing to die on now.SaraiI wrote Dietland in my 30s. But it was published when I was 42 because it took forever to find an agent. Then when we sold it, it took forever to come out. Publishing is quite slow. But that was the novel of my 30s. And I look back now at this anniversary, and I was so fired up. I was so passionate. I was bold and fierce and brave.Some of the things I wrote, I don't know if I would write now, if I'd be brave enough. So I look at that person who wrote Dietland, and I'm not exactly that person anymore. And it's something that's been bothering me for a while.And recently, I listened to an interview with Zadie Smith on the NPR Wildcard podcast. She and I are about the same age, 50-ish, going through all the hormonal changes of this time of life. And she was talking about her earlier books and how she thinks about herself when she was younger versus how she is now. She was talking about how now, at midlife, she feels kind of quieter inside. Her big personality has sort of retracted a little bit. And when I heard her say that, I just was blown away, because that's what I've been experiencing too. And I haven't really heard a lot of other people talking about it, and I hadn't really put it into words or myself. I think because it was upsetting to feel a bit more low key, a bit more apathetic.I'm not really an apathetic person. I've never thought of myself that way. But I kind of feel that way now, so it's a weird time in my life. And I've had women who are older say it gets better. Like, just wait, ride this out, and you're going to come out on the other side of this older and wiser and happier. But right now, I'm just kind of in this weird space where I just feel different. I'm a different person in some ways. I have the same values, but I'm a different kind of a writer, different kind of a person. I'm settling. That's where I am right now. I'm kind of in the thick of it. VirginiaI think we don't often hear this nuance from people after they do something that has the kind of impact and success that Dietland has. We often think, well that person just continues to soar and it's all the next peak and the next peak. And that's not every experience. Probably that's not most people's experiences after having a big success. It's okay that there are valleys and different paths and different twists and turns to it.My other thought is: How could you not be feeling that way right now, given what the world is? Given what it means to be a woman right now? And everything that we're up against. I think there's a some universal—maybe it's apathy, maybe it's… I don't know what it is, exactly. But this feels deeply relatable to me on a lot of levels.SaraiI think going through midlife and perimenopause, at a time when the whole world seems to be a disaster makes it a lot worse. Everybody is coming off the pandemic and Roe v Wade being overturned, and now Trump in office again. Our baseline is just really bad, you know? It's just kind of everything piled on at once.But it is true, I talked to some other women I know my age, who who've written novels in the past and have success and then can't get published anymore once they get into their 50s. You expect you're going to go on forever like you do at the beginning. And you have to deal with the publishing industry. It's a corporate industry. And there are lots of things at play that have nothing to do with whether books are good or not, or whether readers want certain books, or whatever.You start out having these expectations about how your career will go, and then you don't realize that it's, it's always a struggle. Unless you're some massive superstar writer who could have their grocery list published. But for the rest of us, it's a struggle that just kind of peaks and valleys, and that has been a kind of wake up call ten years into being a novelist, for sure.VirginiaThe industry is so complicated. I think the ageism is very real in our industry. I mean, and everywhere. I just turned 44 so I'm kind of getting into this zone that you're talking about. Perimenopause is definitely with me. It has begun. And I think a lot there is an invisibility that's starting to kick in, compared to what I experienced as a woman in my 20s or 30s being out in the world. I can, sort of slip by unnoticed a little more sometimes. And sometimes I really like that, and sometimes it makes me angry. Kind of depends on the day. And I don't even just mean male attention. I just mean the way people interact with you. I'm starting to notice some of those shifts.SaraiI think that's one of the things that's so strange about this time of life. There are a lot more adults who are younger than you all of a sudden. So all of a sudden, you've got 20 or 30 years worth of adults that are younger than you that start to see you as not important anymore.VirginiaMy kids like to remind me that Taylor Swift is 35. as if that's an entire different generation from me. That's not that much younger, guys! Okay, anyway.SaraiI mean, yeah, 35, she's getting up there. But it's kind of like you don't matter as much anymore, in a way. Like that's what society wants you to believe. That you're kind of fading. I think that's one of the things that you kind of have to push back against.And, you know, I'm Gen X. VirginiaI'm elder millennial, but I'm one year off of Gen X or something.SaraiI do think Gen X, despite all of our problems and flaws, are writing more about menopause and perimenopause and aging. And your generation will pick up that mantle and do even more with it. So I feel like, we're trying to change things at least and make it so that we're not fading away. I'm in my 50s now. I'm not going anywhere. And I'm still going to write. You're not going to silence me. It's kind of like just insisting that we're still here, we still have a voice. But, yeah, it's hard.VirginiaIt's hard, and when you're feeling that kind of personal, muted thing you were talking about and then it's getting reinforced by the cultural perceptions of being a midlife woman. Then it's like, am I going to summon up all the energy I need to push back against that? Or am I going to take some of that as, like, it's a little bit liberating. I don't have to be the young, shiny superstar reaching for the brass ring right now. It's kind of a mixed thing, I think.SaraiWith Dietland, I was idealistic and passionate and fiery. And I'm different now, but I'm not putting as much pressure on myself either. I'm not saying everything I write, I have to change the world. That's what I wanted before. And now I'm older, and I realize you're not really going to change the world. You might change a few people, and that's great. But one novel is not going to change the world. And I don't need to aim for that anymore. I want to write different things. I want to not put that kind of pressure on myself. So yeah, there's a kind of liberating part to it as well. I think when I'm not so taking myself as seriously and putting so much pressure on myself, I kind of loosened up a little bit. So that's kind of the flip side of the more negative stuff I was talking about a minute ago.VirginiaI appreciate how honest you're being about the struggle, because I just think it is deeply relatable. And then to this end of what you're working on now, we want to hear all about the next book. You have an announcement for us?SaraiYes, so last year, I sold my third novel. But we didn't want to announce it till I had all the edits done and we had the manuscript ready to go. So summer 2026, my third novel is going to be published. It's called Furious Violet, and it's a suspense novel, which is something I always wanted to do. Like a detective story.It's different from what I've written, but I do think there's a little bit of the spirit of Dietland in it, just in the voice, maybe. I guess, because The Cherry Robbers was in the 50s mostly, whereas I'm back and writing about contemporary culture.So I'm really excited about it. I've always wanted to write a book like this, and it's the most fun I've ever had writing a novel.VirginiaI love that.SaraiMy main character, is 49 almost 50, going through perimenopause. I got to write about that experience in a sort of darkly comedic way, which is a medium that I really like, like that dark comedy that Dietland had. She's a true crime writer. She's writing a book about a serial killer, but she's also the daughter of this very famous poet who is deceased, but like a giant of American poetry. This woman who has this cult following, and sort of is always a shadow over my my character's life.So she has that, but she's a true crime writer, and she kind of embraces her mediocrity. She's not a genius like her mom. She's just a true crime writer. And when the book begins, somebody starts stalking her and telling her, “You're my mother.” And she doesn't understand what's going on, because she doesn't have kids. And so it's this mystery about what does this mean, who is this person, and what do they mean? And it's all entangling all of that and all of the other aspects of her life, and how they all intersect. VirginiaI can't wait to read it. I'm riveted just hearing you talk about it.SaraiI had so much fun working on it. It was a wild ride. So thank you. I'm excited.VirginiaI hope you'll come back next summer when it comes out and talk to us about it some more. And I just have to say, I am filled with so much admiration for how you've evolved as a writer and how you like are going in. This book feels so different from Cherry Robbers feels so different from Dietland.SaraiThank you. I don't like to get bored. I want to do new things.SaraiI think publishing kind of wants to put you in a box, and I don't want to be in that box. I wanted to do something different.VirginiaIt's awesome. I can't wait to read it. I'm so excited.SaraiOh, thanks, thank you.ButterVirginiaSarai, do you have any Butter for us right now?SaraiI just came off months and months of edits, and when I'm doing that, I can't read. I can't read other people's stuff. So I don't have any book recommendations. But I'm really excited to start reading again. But I was listening to a lot of music. I often listen to music while I'm writing, but it can't have lyrics, has to be instrumental.I discovered this Canadian classical violinist named Angèle Dubeau. She plays the work of a lot of contemporary composers. And I don't know a lot about classical music. I'm not plugged into the contemporary classical music scene. But through her, I've discovered all these different composers. And she has one piece in particular called Experience. So if you're on Spotify or Apple Music or wherever, I would recommend looking this up. This piece I just absolutely love it. It's so beautiful, and I listen to it so many times. As I was editing, and then I keep listening to her work, and I don't know it just meant a lot to me during this time. So yeah, it was really exciting to discover that.VirginiaThat's incredible. It's so fun to discover an artist and realize there's more and more of their work, and you can go down the rabbit hole of everything they've done. I find that so satisfying.SaraiShe's introduced me to so many different composers, and I really love it.VirginiaThat's so cool. I'll do a music rec as well, although it's not nearly as sophisticated as that. But my seven year old and I are currently on a big kick with the Hamilton soundtrack. Obviously Hamilton, the musical, had its moment a minute ago. Like, it's been around for a while. But it stands the test of time, and it's very fun to listen to with kids. I end up having to answer a lot of strange questions, because for a seven year old, it's just a lot of things that she doesn't know, that she needs translated. So we have some very funny conversations. It's still a banger of a show and really great and fun to listen to a kid. It's our little bedtime ritual. Before we read, she's a kid who needs to really get her energy out. And we have a swing that she likes to swing on, and we play the Hamilton soundtrack and do three or four songs, and it's just like a fun end of day ritual that I'm really enjoying right now.SaraiI love that. I'm still listening to the Xanadu soundtrack or something for my childhood.VirginiaThese things, they're classics for a reason.Obviously, we want everyone to go pick up a 10th anniversary copy of Dietland!Get it if you haven't read it, or if you read it and loved it, but you've lost your original copy, you probably need another one. It's a great gift for someone else, some friend, mom, sister, whoever. Tell folks anything else about where we can find you, how we can support your work.SaraiSo I have a website, and, you know, I'm on Instagram, I'm on Blue Sky, and I do have a Facebook page I don't update very much. I do have a TikTok account that I don't really know what to do with, but I've done a few videos. So I'm out there, pretty easy to find. My next novel coming out next summer, but that's got a ways to go on that.VirginiaWell, we will keep people posted about that for sure. Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it.SaraiThanks. It was so much fun. So thank you, Virginia.The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith (follow me on Instagram) and Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, and Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Before we start the show today…Have you donated to the Me Little Me Virtual Food Pantry? No, it won't prevent any of the MAHA shenanigans we're about to discuss. But it will get low-income folks (many of whom are in eating disorder recovery) fed — and with the food of their choosing. Meaning yes, ultra processed foods that bring comfort and convenience, and yes to beloved cultural foods…and yes to trusting folks in need to know what they need.We're trying to raise $12,000 and add 50 recurring donors to their rosters by June 1. And we can only do that with your help! Thank you!You are listening to Burnt Toast! Today, my guest is Jessica Wilson, MS, RD.Jessica is a clinical dietitian and host of the podcast Making It Awkward. Her critiques of American food hysteria have been featured in The New York Times, Washington Post, and other outlets, and Jessica's ultra processed food experiment received coverage in Time Magazine last fall. Jessica was last on the podcast to celebrate the release of her book, It's Always Been Ours: Rewriting the Story of Black Women's Bodies, which explores how marginalized bodies, especially black women's bodies, are policed by society in ways that impact body autonomy and health.Jessica is one of the most incisive thinkers I know about wellness and diet culture, as well as food policy and nutrition. So I asked her to come back on the podcast today just to help us make sense of what is happening right now in public health. We're going to get into RFK. We're going to get into MAHA, we're going to get into processed foods. I know you will find this conversation both hilarious and helpful.Today's episode is free but if you value this conversation, please consider supporting our work with a paid subscription. Burnt Toast is 100% reader- and listener-supported. We literally can't do this without you.And don't forget, you can take 10 percent off It's Always Been Ours, or any book we talk about on the podcast, if you order it from the Burnt Toast Bookshop, along with a copy of Fat Talk! (This also applies if you've previously bought Fat Talk from them. Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith (follow me on Instagram) and Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, and Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

You are listening to Burnt Toast!Today, my guest is Jessica Slice, a disabled mom and author of the brilliant new book, Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World.Jessica is also the co-author of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled, and This Is How We Play: A Celebration of Disability and Adaptation, as well as the forthcoming This Is How We Talk and We Belong. She has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Alice Wong's bestselling Disability Visibility and more.As Jessica puts it, she originally wrote this book for disabled parents because their stories are not told or centered. But Jessica soon realized she was writing a book for all parents, because becoming a parent is its own kind of experience with disability.There are so many important intersections between disability, justice and fat liberation. One that I think about a lot is how both groups come up against the question: Don't we owe it to our kids to be healthy? Jessica's perspective on these issues is expansive, inclusive and enlightening. I know you will get so much out of this conversation and from reading unfit parent.You can take 10 percent off Unfit Parent, or any book we talk about on the podcast, if you order it from the Burnt Toast Bookshop, along with a copy of Fat Talk! (This also applies if you've previously bought Fat Talk from them. Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)PS. If you enjoy today's conversation, please tap the heart on this post — likes are one of the biggest drivers of traffic from Substack's Notes, so that's a super easy, free way to support the show!Follow Jessica: Jessicaslice.com. I'm on Instagram @JessicaSlice, I have a Substack where I send monthly notes about Disabled Parenting, and then usually try to get people to read whatever poem I'm fixated on that month.The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith (follow me on Instagram) and Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, and Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

You are listening to Burnt Toast!Today, my guest is the brilliant Jasmine Guillory.Jasmine is a New York Times-bestselling author of nine novels, including The Wedding Date, The Proposal, and her brand new book Flirting Lessons.This is an absolutely delightful conversation. Jasmine and I get into why she is publishing her first queer romance. We talk a lot about fat rep in romance novels, and we also talk about gardening. It's so much fun!You can order Flirting Lessons through the Burnt Toast Bookshop. Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)PS. If you enjoy today's conversation, please tap the heart on this post — likes are one of the biggest drivers of traffic from Substack's Notes, so that's a super easy, free way to support the show! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

You're listening to Burnt Toast!I'm Virginia Sole-Smith, and today my guest is Amy Palanjian.Amy is my work wife and best friend of over 20 years. She's also the creator of Yummy Toddler Food and author of the nationally bestselling cookbook Dinnertime SOS: 100 Sanity-Saving Meals Parents and Kids of All Ages Will Actually Want to Eat.Amy joined me last month at Split Rock Books to celebrate the launch of FAT TALK in paperback. They also host the Burnt Toast Bookshop for us, and are forever the place to get my books signed and personalized however you like!So we talked about the book, of course, but we also got into how family dinners have changed for us post-divorce, why cooking with kids is terrible, and then Amy outed my (not so) secret love of protein powder.

Today Virginia is chatting with Brianna Campos. Bri is a licensed professional counselor and body image coach who works with folks recovering from eating disorders, and finding body acceptance through grief. You may know Bri from Instagram, or from her newsletter, Body Image with Bri.Bri and I talk about why this concept of body grief is so important—and yet so often overlooked in this work. And she shares how doing her own body grief work has led her to have a happier relationship with her body and to start dating again—confidently and with a lot of joy as a superfat person. If you find today's episode valuable, please consider supporting our work with a paid subscription!Guest interviews are always free on Burnt Toast, but paid subscriptions enable us to pay guests for their time, labor and expertise. (This is extremely rare in the world of podcasting, but key to centering marginalized voices!)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page.If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.FAT TALK is out in paperback! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Helen Rosner. Helen is a staff writer at The New Yorker. She has been covering food for more than a decade as a writer and editor, and won a 2024 James Beard Award for her weekly restaurant-review column, The Food Scene. She is an expert on sandwiches and many other important subjects. And I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Helen last month at Books Are Magic in Brooklyn (hi Emma Straub thank you so much for having us!!), at a live event to celebrate the paperback release of Fat Talk. (They should still have a few signed copies in stock if you need one!)We talked about the book, of course, but we talked about so many other fat- and food-adjacent topics, that I knew I wanted to bring it to you as a podcast episode.(Bear with some imperfect audio, since we weren't recording with our usual set-up — but Tommy worked his magic as usual so it's still highly listen-to-able!)If you find today's episode valuable, please consider supporting our work with a paid subscription!Guest interviews are always free on Burnt Toast, but paid subscriptions enable us to pay guests for their time, labor and expertise. (This is extremely rare in the world of podcasting, but key to centering marginalized voices!)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page.If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.FAT TALK is out in paperback! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Frankie De La Cretaz.  Frankie is an award-winning journalist whose work sits at the intersection of sports, gender and culture. They are the co-author of Hail Mary, the rise and fall of the National Women's Football League, and their writing has been featured in The New York Times, Sports Illustrated, The Atlantic and more.Frankie also writes Out of Your League, a newsletter about queer sports and pop culture, which I consider a must-subscribe. If you have been remotely following the issues of trans women in sports, you likely already know how well Frankie calls out that bias and discrimination. As Frankie points out, the way bodies are policed and controlled in the sports world is really just a microcosm of how the bodies of queer, trans, and otherwise marginalized folks are being policed and controlled throughout our culture right now.So even if you think you don't care about sports, I promise you'll care about this conversation.If you find today's episode valuable, please consider supporting our work with a paid subscription!Guest interviews are always free on Burnt Toast, but paid subscriptions enable us to pay guests for their time, labor and expertise. (This is extremely rare in the world of podcasting, but key to centering marginalized voices!)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page.If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.FAT TALK is out in paperback! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Anna Maltby. Anna is a health journalist, editor, content strategist, personal trainer, and author of the newsletter How to Move. Anna also created Pilates For Abortion Funds, a monthly online class that has raised about $30,000 for abortion funds since July 2022. She has been an ACE-certified personal trainer since 2015, and a certified mat pilates instructor since 2021. She's also a certified prenatal and postpartum exercise specialist. Anna lives in Brooklyn with her husband, two kids, and two extremely cute cats.Anna was previously a guest on one of Burnt Toast's most popular ever episodes, The Myth of Visible Abs. What's so great about Anna—and what makes her different from a lot of fitness writers and personal trainers out there—is that she's so smart about bodies, she's truly anti-diet and size neutral as a fitness professional…and, she's been in the belly of the beast. Anna worked in women's magazines with me long enough to know all the diet culture tricks. So she's one of my favorite people to talk fitness with, because she can dissect what is marketing, what is diet culture, and what is actually maybe useful for your body.Two content warnings for today:1. We are going to talk about specific forms of exercise. This will always be through a weight neutral lens, but if you're recovering from an eating disorder or just otherwise in a place where exercise is not serving you, please take care.2. CW for Butter, because we ended up talking quite a lot about toilets! And while I feel it's all incredibly practical information and you're going to thank me for my great Butter recommendation this week, I do realize that toilet conversation is not for everyone. It's usually not for me! So I get it! You've been warned.To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page.If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.FAT TALK is out in paperback! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting withMara Gordon, MD.Dr. Gordon is a family physician on the faculty of Cooper Medical School of Rowan University, as well as a writer, journalist, and contributor to NPR. Dr. Gordon also writes Chief Complaint, about her efforts to make medicine more fat friendly, and help her patients and herself explore body liberation and radical bodily autonomy.In our conversation today, Dr. Gordon and I get into why the healthcare system is set up the way it is, and what we can do to advocate for more weight-inclusive care—even when we're not seeing weight-inclusive doctors.She also answers your questions about common weight-linked health conditions like acid reflux, sleep apnea, and prediabetes.To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page.If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Farideh.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome back to the podcast, everyone! I'm very glad you're here. I've been reading a book called “Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture” by Virginia Sole-Smith and even though I'm just a third of the way through it, it floors me every time I turn the page. The author is talking about the effects anti-fat bias can have on families and she shares some stories that break my heart. Imagine if your child was taken away from you because they're fat. Just simply because of their body size. This nightmare was real for some families and I want to talk about weight discrimination and how harmful it can be.    One of the cases talked about in the book was the case of Anamarie Regino, a girl who was removed from her parents at a young age because of her size. State authorities decided her weight was a form of child abuse or neglect so they took her away. Anamarie's parents fought back and argued that she had an undiagnosed medical condition that contributed to her size but it took months of court battle to return her to her family. I want to talk about how interventions like this and even well-intentioned health initiatives like Michelle Obama's “Let's Move” campaign, which heavily emphasized the “epidemic” of childhood obesity, contribute to stigma and harm. I explore the myth that a child's weight is the parent's fault, the messages that being fat is inherently dangerous that are sent by interventions like Anamarie's, and the impact all the discourse on weight and a specific mold of physical health has on children. So join me as I dive into why we need to speak out against anti-fat bias. __About Dr. Michelle Tubman:Dr. Michelle Tubman is certified by the American Board of Obesity Medicine, which means she understands exactly what's happening in your body when you diet. Although she does not provide any medical advice in her coaching programs, this knowledge gives her an edge over most coaches.She also holds Level 1 and Level 2 Precision Nutrition coaching certifications which make her skilled at coaching nutrition, dietary change, and habit change in general. Realizing that emotional eating and bingeing are complicated for most of us, she also did training in mind-body and intuitive eating. Peace around food is possible.__Resources discussed in this episode:“Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture” by Virginia Sole-Smith__Learn more about Dr. Michelle Tubman and Wayza Health:Website: www.wayzahealth.comFollow me on Facebook and InstagramEmail Michelle: michelle@wayzahealth.com

Today Virginia is chatting with Amy Palanjian. You probably already know Amy as Yummy Toddler Food, which is her blog/Instagram/Tiktok. She's also the bestselling author of Dinnertime SOS, and writes a great bi-weekly newsletter called YTF Community, which comes with super helpful meal plans. Some of you may have listened to our old podcast, Comfort Food, or maybe you've just heard Amy on her previous appearances on Burnt Toast (one, two and three). But we realized that Amy hasn't been on the pod since we both got divorced! Obviously a lot in our lives has changed, but specifically, a lot has changed in terms of how we feed our people and how we feed ourselves.So this is an episode about single mom dinner. I think you'll enjoy it.To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Farideh.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with the delightful Julia Turshen! Julia is a New York Times bestselling cookbook author, and today we're celebrating her brand new cookbook What Goes With What. WGWW is built on the simple premise that if we understand what makes food delicious, we can feed ourselves well. Nobody understands this better than Julia, who has been excavating the rules, limitations, and hidden diet mindset of food writing for years now, and in doing so, offers us all a better, more straightforward way to think about food and making meals happen.If you have ever felt overwhelmed by the deeply loaded question of “What's for dinner?” Julia's work is a safe place to start figuring it all out.You can order What Goes With What through the Burnt Toast Bookshop. Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by FaridehTommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Claire Ayoub. Claire is the writer and director of the brand new feature film—opening tomorrow!!— called Empire Waist, a heartfelt comedy about teens learning to love their bodies through fashion design and friendship. Empire Waist opens in movie theaters across the country tomorrow, September 27! Go to empirewaistfilm.com for screening info, or set an alert on Fandango. You can also download the Empire Waist Curriculum at empirewaistfilm.com/curriculum. And follow empirewaistfilm on Instagram.To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Farideh.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Nicola Salmon. Nicola is a leading voice for fat folks seeking fertility support, and author of the book Fat and Fertile.As a fertility coach and fat activist, Nicola works to challenge the fertility industry's entrenched weight bias and empower marginalized folks to take control of their reproductive health. (You may know her from Instagram.) If you want more on this whole conversation, check out episode 29 of this podcast, where I talked through all of my reporting and the research on weight and fertility, as it stood at that point. And then go listen to episode two of Cult of Perfect, where we explored the fat mother narrative—and the kind of healthcare that fat moms, and fat pregnant people, get.To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: You're listening to this episode because you value my input as a journalist who reports on these issues and therefore has a lot of informed opinions. Neither my guest today nor I are healthcare providers, and this conversation is not meant to substitute for medical or therapeutic advice. AND: If you are in the thick of your own fertility journey, and today's episode doesn't feel good for you to hear, please take good care.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Farideh.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with romance author Nisha Sharma, author of Marriage & Masti. We discuss Nisha's own writing and get into some big questions about the romance genre: What is happening with bodies? How do romance authors think about fatness? And where are all the fat male love interests already? Marriage & Masti is available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

You're listening to Burnt Toast!We are Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay, and it's time for another Indulgence Gospel. It's the last week of our summer break, so we'll be back after Labor Day with all new podcast episodes for you. We so appreciate everyone who has been continuing to listen and support the podcast during our hiatus. It means a lot to know that our community enjoys our work and cares that we're able to make it sustainable too. So as a thank you for listening, today's Indulgence Gospel rerun has no paywall. We've realized that so many of you on the free list almost never get to hear how hilarious and smart Corinne is — and as paid subscribers know, Indulgence Gospel episodes are truly the heart of the podcast. They are the most fun to make, because they are the episodes where we feel truly in conversation with all of you.If you love this episode, of course we hope you'll consider a paid subscription to Burnt Toast so you can get every paywalled episode we make. And we also hope you'll subscribe to Big Undies, Corinne's new Substack about clothes. And, if you subscribe to Big Undies, you can take 20 percent off your Burnt Toast subscription or vice versa – either way, it gets you all of our content for under $12 per month.This episode contains affiliate links. Shopping our links is a great way to support Burnt Toast! Episode 157 TranscriptVirginiaYou're listening to Burnt Toast! This is the podcast about diet culture, fatphobia, parenting, and health. I'm Virginia Sole-Smith I also write the Burnt Toast newsletter.CorinneAnd I'm Corinne Fay. I work on Burnt Toast and run SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus sized clothing.VirginiaWe have so many good questions this month. A lot of parenting food questions. I think maybe because I just ran the lunchbox piece in the newsletter it's on everybody's minds. But also, as usual, some fat fashion stuff. Clogs are coming up later. And Ozempic, because obviously. So it's gonna be a good one.VirginiaSo before we dive in, how are you doing? What's new with you, Corinne?CorinneI'm doing well. One thing that's new with me is: I just signed up to do a powerlifting meet. So I'm feeling nervous. VirginiaWell, yeah. Is this like a competition thing, where people come and watch? CorinneI think so. I mean, obviously, I've never done something like this before. It's in Albuquerque, and it's being run by my gym. And it's all women's. VirginiaThat sounds very cool. CorinneI'm just having a little of like, Oh, what did I do? Let's see. Wow. Am I going to be the most amateur, weakest person there? I might.VirginiaBut you'll still be super strong and amazing. Because the weakest person at a powerlifting competition is still the strongest person in most other rooms.CorinneThat's a good point. And I think one great thing about lifting is, it's really more about your own goals and competing with yourself. But still.VirginiaSo is it like whoever lifts the most is the winner?CorinneSo my understanding is very loose, but I know there are different weight classes. So you compete against people who are roughly around the same size?.Virginia Interesting. Okay.CorinneAnd then I think it's a cumulative weight of how much you lift, like combined squat, deadlift, bench press. VirginiaWow, that's so cool. Julia Turshen recently did one of these.CorinneI feel like I was slightly influenced by Julia Turshen.VirginiaDid she enable you? Julia, good job! The pictures and videos she posted of it looked super exciting. And it looked like a very professional athletic setting. I would be intimidated for sure.CorinneThe other thing that I'm sure we'll end up talking about again, but you have to wear a singlet which is like, where am I gonna find a singlet? And knee socks.VirginiaKnee socks! Why knee socks? CorinneI'm like, oh my God, I'm never gonna find knee socks that fit me, but I'm trying to figure out if I can wear Universal Standard body shorts as a singlet, because I already have one of those. VirginiaThat feels like a great solution. CorinneIt's singlet-esque? But I don't know what the actual requirements are.VirginiaGirlfriend Collective also has a shorts body suit thing.CorinneI should look into that. VirginiaBut I feel like you should be able to work with what you have. Especially for your first one. Once you're a pro and doing this all the time, you'll get, like, something with rhinestones. CorinneOnce I'm a sponsored Olympic athlete. Yes.VirginiaI love that like we're getting to follow along on the journey. Obviously we're going to need another installment on this afterwards.CorinneOkay, yes. And just to be clear, the meet isn't until July, so, so I have a lot of time to think about it.VirginiaI'm just saying though. A few months ago, you were recommending Casey Johnston and her couch-to-barbell program. And you were like, “I'm just using a broomstick.”CorinneIt's true. VirginiaAnd now!CorinneIt's true and now I'm lifting actual pounds.VirginiaVery, very cool. CorinneYeah, what's new with you? VirginiaI feel like what's new with me is that I am surviving, not thriving a little bit. So this is going to come out in mid-April. So we'll be two weeks out from book launch. So I will either be better or I will be way worse. I mean, having had two children, it's sort of similar to the last month of pregnancy when you're like, it's all you can think about, this thing is happening, but you have no control over it. I mean, at least with the book, you know, like the date it's coming. Which with pregnancy, they have yet to really figure out, unless you're scheduling. But I counted it up this morning, I have recorded 18 podcasts so far. Of other people's podcasts. Like for talking about the book. 18 people's podcasts. CorinneOh whoa. That's wild.VirginiaAnd like, seven of them were in the last week and a half? So I feel like my voice is hanging on by a thread. And I'm just getting a little mush-brained about it. I need to step back a little.Obviously, I am super grateful. I love that people want me to talk about the book. I love that people are excited about the book. I cannot wait for it to be out. But it's just at a point where there are a lot of details. Like, review all the press release materials, review the marketing plan…. I forgot we were recording today. And it's not the first thing I've forgotten. Like, I forgot the kids had a dentist appointment. We made it, but I'm just like, my brain is holding too many pieces of information. Some things are getting dropped. I'm just coming in with a sort of scattered energy. But I've got the Throat Coat Tea that I'm living on right now. And we're gonna do it! CorinneDo you have any upcoming book promo stuff that you're really excited to do?VirginiaWell, I did an interview yesterday that I can't talk about yet, because I don't think it will be out by the time this launches. CorinneTop secret. VirginiaThere are two top secret ones that will be coming out in the week or two after this podcast episode. And they're both very exciting. And I will say that I was very happy with my outfit for one. So that was good. And the other one the outfit matters less because it is not visual. I will say no more! And yeah, that part's been fun, actually figuring out clothes for like the book tour Dacy has been helping me and maybe some time we'll do a follow up about finding clothes for this. Because it's a very specific level of, how dressy do you want to be versus comfortable? So maybe there will be an essay of what I wore for the book tour.CorinneI would love to read that.VirginiaOkay, so we're going to do some questions! The first one is a hot take opportunity. This came in over Instagram multiple times. People would like to know what we saw of Jia Tolentino's Ozempic piece in The New Yorker.CorinneOkay, well, now is my time to be embarrassed when I admit that I read it really lightly. I did a really light skim sort of read, and was like, seems fine. And then I've seen everyone else being like, “This article is horrible.” And I've been like, wow, I really need to revisit that and find out why people are so upset.VirginiaI'm glad to hear people are saying they're upset! I felt like no one was talking about it at all for a little bit. And I was like, what is happening? I feel like the New York magazine piece came out, which I wrote about and that was not great. And then this piece comes out two weeks later, and I'm just like, why? Why did it come out? It's the same piece really. And I want to be clear that I love Jia's work. I loved Trick Mirror. I think she writes phenomenal stuff. The piece she did on Angela Garbes last year was just incredible. And this was… not that. It is very much centering the story on thin people who would like to be thinner if they take Ozempic. There's one fat person interviewed for the story. And, you know, of course, every fat person is entitled to their own experience of fatness. But her quotes just reinforced so many stereotypes. She talks about wanting to lose weight because she feels like she can't hike or run at her current size. And it's like, come on. We can do better. CorinneIf you want to hike and run, you could work on hiking and running?VirginiaRight! There are so many fat hikers and runners on Instagram. CorinneI thought the compounding pharmacy thing was kind of interesting.VirginiaOh, like explaining how sort of like loosey goosey it is and getting the drugs? CorinneBecause I've seen a lot of people on TikTok being like, I'm getting this patented drug from a compounding pharmacy. And I'm like, wait, is that real? Like, what is that? So I thought that part was interesting.VirginiaIt was interesting. But when she goes through the process of getting it herself, I always just worry—this is the eating disorder handbook stuff.Corinne True true. You're literally telling people how to do it. VirginiaAnd I get that that's not hard to find. We all have Google. But is that something The New Yorker should be doing? Does The New Yorker need to teach us how to get our weight loss drugs? I don't know. I feel like the general trend in the Ozempic coverage–And this is not just Jia, not just New York Magazine. But by and large, this coverage has this underlying question of: If we have now found a silver bullet that will make people thin, does that mean we can just forget about anti fat bias? And that is so dark. We cannot just say, now that we have a way to make everybody thin, it's okay to hate fat people, because we can just make them thin.CorinneThat's a good point.VirginiaI'm not judging anyone's individual decisions about this. But this larger discourse is not helpful. That's my hot, grouchy take. CorinneThat's the hot take! I would love to know also, if any listeners have strong feelings about it? VirginiaYes. Comments are open!CorinneOkay, the next question is:Q: The one thing I can't shake as a new mom is worrying about making my daughter fat. How do I shake that? I grew up fat and it was hard. I want better for her. But does that mean dieting?VirginiaThis is a very understandable fear. But no, it does not mean dieting. CorinneI want to validate this parent's worries, because you're coming from a place where it sounds like you struggled a lot. And you don't want your kids to struggle, and that totally makes sense.VirginiaI think what I'm stuck on is, “I grew up fat and it was hard.” Yes, absolutely. Not denying that. But was it hard because you were fat? Or was it hard because the world made fat not okay?And so, this is kind of the Ozempic thing, right? Is the answer to erase fatness by which we mean erase fat people? Or is the answer systemic change and unlearning this bias on a personal level? But I know, that is a terrible question. You cannot make all those systemic changes by yourself. That is not doable. So it is really, really hard.CorinneThe one thing that's sort of not explicit in this question is whether the kid is actually fat.VirginiaShe says she's a new mom. So I'm thinking she has a baby. So she probably doesn't know? CorinneBecause my next thought was, you could talk to your kid about it being hard. But maybe not for a newborn.VirginiaBut maybe start now! Get the conversation going.CorinneStart thinking about it. You can talk to yourself about it. I think now might be a time to start therapy. VirginiaTherapy, always a great option.You are not going to make your daughter thin or fat. You don't actually control her body size. The number of factors that go into determining body sizes is this sort of endless and murky list, and no one really knows what are the largest drivers. But how you feed her, and how much you make her run around are not the largest drivers of her body size. And putting all your energy there is only going to cause damage, which you yourself probably know, because when you say it was hard, I'm guessing that some kind of childhood dieting might have been a piece of that.So I feel like we need to let you off the hook of the “I'm gonna make her fat.” She may be fat. There is nothing wrong with that. It is not your fault. And what she really needs is for you to unconditionally accept her body.CorinneI also think this could be a really good time to think of some advocacy you could do, whether that's looking into school policies about bullying or even at the legislative level, like laws about anti fat bias. Or just trying to be an advocate in your community for body liberation or fat liberation? VirginiaI love that. And I just wanna say this is hard. It is really unfair that that is asked of us. But that is where we are on this issue. And we're only going to make progress if we all approach it from that perspective. CorinneAnd I want to reiterate: The thing about bias is, the solution is never to get rid of the people we're biased against. Or to change them somehow.VirginiaRight. So it's okay. Maybe your daughter is going to be fat and how are you going to support her and advocate for her and make your home a safe space for her body?CorinneAll right, I'm going to read the next one too: Q: I am trying very hard to be very neutral about food with my son who's four years old. From the start, I have not labeled foods as good or bad. I have not restricted access to sweets or desserts. But lately, I've started questioning this. I've always felt pressure because I am not able to manage cooking meals. So from the start, my son was fed using a grazing technique where I would put together various foods and he would eat what he wanted. As he has gotten older, he is more specific in his tastes in a way that feels normal to me, pretty much macaroni and cheese or similar foods most of the time. There are other things he will eat, but I feel a lot of grief about my inability to get it together and provide regular hot balanced meals, also for myself. Recently, I've been trying to limit his intake of sweets just a little bit and it feels like a backside but I've been confused. Only two cookies and even suggesting he eats something before he gets the cookies. This week's mailbag episode made me reorient when you talked about not doing this and reminded me why I wanted to avoid this restriction based language. And I admit the reason I started thinking about this was twofold. I filled out a research survey that made me admit a lot of things about our household eating that I feel low level guilty about and I felt the sting of perceived societal shaming.And my son started talking about treats. I was a bit miffed as categorizing something as a treat, as opposed to food which he labeled the rest as, was something I was trying to avoid. Then I realized this could have come from daycare television, the fact that we give the dog treats, and so I am overreacting. I find it's so hard to be consistent in my parenting in many avenues and food encroaches on that too. Giving food as a reward for example, this is something I do for myself, and I like it. But perhaps it is part of the problem of saving food for a special occasion as opposed to having it because you want it.I need some perspective, please. Is it ever useful to direct a child to a more balanced diet as opposed to just modeling it? I do not mean telling them that specific foods help your eyes. What a relief to see that debunked, but more that many foods are yummy. And basically some form of kid specific ‘everything in moderation.'VirginiaThe first thing I want to say is: You are doing a great job. You are feeding your child. It does not matter that you are not cooking. And that the food is not hot or homemade. It does not matter at all. You are meeting your son's needs by making sure he is fed every day, and making sure that he has enough to eat in order to grow. That's the most important thing and you're doing it. You're winning! You're doing great. And this really drives home for me the stigma we have around the idea that you can't feed kids processed foods, you have to cook meals. All of this is so unhelpful because there are just so many reasons why that model of family meals is not a good fit. There could be disability issues. There could be cost issues, time bandwidth issues, all sorts of hurdles. There could also just be that you don't like cooking. You can still be a good parent and not like cooking. It's not a requirement. SoI just want to encourage you to take some of the shame away. Corinne That's a great place to start. I totally agree. I was thinking about the study that you mention in FAT TALK about how it doesn't matter what you're eating and it much more matters that kids are just eating. VirginiaOh, that's a quote from Katherine Zavodni, who's one of my favorite pediatric dietitians. So teaser for everyone who hasn't read the book yet, but it's a quote that I want to put on our fridge! She says, “The most important thing about good nutrition is making sure kids have enough to eat.” Because if you have enough to eat, all the minutiae of micronutrients, and macronutrients tends to work itself out. Now, obviously, there are kids with severe food issues like feeding disorders, allergies or other medical conditions where it may be more complicated. Their nutritional needs may be more specific. But if your kid is not dealing with one of those things, and has enough to eat on any given day, you have done your job as a parent.CorinneAnd you also talked about the studies on family meals, right? And how the benefits come from eating together rather than making sure it's a home-cooked meal. VirginiaI'm so glad you brought that up. All the research on family dinners, which talks about how important they are for kids' overall well-being and health—it's because families are spending time together. So you could do that around breakfast, you could do that around a snack, you could do that in ways that have nothing to do with food. Like maybe you regularly have a long car ride to commute to school and work together. And that's when you talk and catch up on your day. Kids need connected time with their caregivers. Food is just one helpful way to do it.CorinneIt doesn't matter if you are eating snack plates, or macaroni. VirginiaSome of my most connected meals with my kids are when we're eating takeout or bowls of Cheerios for dinner! Because everyone is relaxed and you can focus on each other. And you're not in this place of, “I put all this work into this meal and nobody likes it.”. So then let's talk about feeling like you need to limit his intake of sweets. I think you're going there because you're feeling ashamed about what you're doing. So I'm hoping just lifting some of the shame lets you step back from that a little bit. I also think the research shows pretty clearly that requiring kids to eat in very specific ways, like micromanaging their plate by saying “you have to eat something else before you get the cookies” or “only two cookies,” does not. in the long-term, serve kids' relationship with food. It tends to result in kids who are overly fixated on the foods that have a lot of rules around them. You're going to find yourself in power struggles where it's like, why only two cookies, why not three cookies, why not two and a half cookies.Don't feel bad that you've done this, because I think we all get into these sort of panic moments where we do this because we're just struggling and it feels like the “right thing to do.” But I don't think it will ultimately serve you or serve your child. I think modeling eating a variety of foods is the best thing we can do. And even using phrases like “balance” or “everything in moderation,” I don't love because not every day is going to be about moderation. And that can turn into a rule. Because what is “moderation?” And then the last thing I'll say is, I think we touched on this in a previous episode. But I don't think treat needs to be a bad word. Yes, we give the dog treats. Dogs' existences are largely treat-based, at least in my house. We give ourselves food as rewards when we're stressed out or we need some extra comfort. When we talk about keeping all foods neutral, I think we can take it too far, to this place where it feels like we're not supposed to have any feelings about food at all. And that is not realistic or fair, or in line with how humans interact with foods.So we do use the word treat in our house. And this came up with the lunchbox piece because I have a category of treats on the little chart I made for Beatrix and folks were like, “I can't believe you have a treat category.” And I realized they had a different definition of that word. If you don't have restrictive rules around when or how much treats you can eat, then treat is a neutral word. It just means foods that feel extra fun. Just something extra fun you want to have on your plate along with your other foods. And if you're not saying “we only eat treats once a day,” or “we only eat treats on Saturdays;” if it's not paired with restrictive language, then it's still keeping foods neutral. Does that make sense?CorinneI think especially with the lunch box example, you're using treat as a category to make sure you're getting a treat. That seems really positive.VirginiaBecause I want them to know that those foods are welcome in their lunchboxes. Yes.CorinneOr required, even! VirginiaNone of it's required, Corinne, they can skip the treat if they want! But it's a part of the meal. CorinneMaybe that's a way that this person could reframe it. It feels like you're hearing your kid say treat and thinking they're feeling like it's something to be restricted. When could you be like, “Let's make sure you're getting enough treats.”VirginiaThat's a great re-framing. I hope this helps. This is a big question. And I can tell you're working through a lot of big stuff. So we would like an update. Please keep us posted!CorinneYou're doing a great job.VirginiaYes. CorinneI'm gonna read the next one as well. Q: My daughter is in fifth grade. At school she's often given food in addition to what she brings for her lunch and snacks. Candy is handed out as an incentive. Snacks, as well as non-edible items, are available to purchase with Classroom Bucks earned for good behavior. Several days a week she has after school activities that include a good deal of snacking. For the most part, I've accepted that I have no control over what she eats when she's away from me. However, she is regularly coming home not hungry for the dinner I've prepared. It's becoming more frequent lately that she'll snack so much at school, and at after school activities, that she will eat only a couple bites of dinner, and occasionally nothing at all. Dinners are usually meals she likes and she always has the opportunity to choose a backup option if she doesn't. So I don't think it's an issue of filling up because she won't get food she likes at dinner. She chooses and packs her own lunch and snack. We generally have a rule that if you put it on the grocery list, Mom will buy it, which is to say she has a lot of control of choice and regular access to candy and snack foods, both at home and in her lunch.Is it diet culture to expect her to come to dinner ready to eat? Or is it valid for me to feel miffed that she's already full? And yeah, I realize we'll all have an off day or skip a meal once in a while. This is becoming a regular occurrence though.VirginiaI don't think it's diet culture exactly. I think it's performative parenting culture a little bit, where we are very tied to this idea that, again, the family dinner is this all-important cornerstone of the day, where we have to provide a certain kind of meal. And that it is only successful if our children eat the meal. If they participate in, and enjoy the meal. And even if we're like, “they can choose how much they're hungry for,” if they don't want to eat it at all, it's really hard.I say this from extensive personal experience. It's really hard to not feel like you failed because you're like, “I just spent 40 minutes making this and you ate two bites and ran away.” But what I also want to say is: 9 out of 10 family dinners in my house involve one or both children eating two bites of the meal and running away. I think it's very, very, very common at sort of all ages. And yes, it is often because they had a lot of snacks in the afternoon. Because that is when they were really hungry and needed to eat. And so my expectation that 5:30 or 6:00 pm is when we're all going to sit down and eat this big meal together is out of line with the reality of at 3:30 or 4:30 pm, they are ravenous and need to eat. And so we're just always going to have that mismatch and it is what it is. Nobody needs to feel bad.CorinneThis relates back a little to the parent who's feeling guilty about not cooking meals. It's kind of the flip side where this parent is cooking meals and feeling bad about them.VirginiaI also want to speak to the piece about food given out at school. I don't love candy being handed out as an incentive in class. And that is not because I don't want the kids eating the candy. It's because I think it does play into making candy seem so special and coveted. And for kids who have more restrictive relationships with candy at home, I don't feel like it's helpful. Does that make sense? I don't have a problem with there being a birthday party in class and everyone's eating cupcakes or candy just being there, like if the teacher just wants to have a candy jar on their desk and kids can help themselves. But it's layering on the messages about earning the candy that I really don't love. Because diet culture is going to teach kids so many different ways that you have to earn your treats.But I have not figured out a way to eradicate this practice from the American public school system. It's a very common tactic. And I think teachers have very, very hard jobs and if handing out M&Ms for getting math problems right makes it easier to do their job? I don't know, man, I think that's where we are. CorinneYeah. VirginiaAnd if it's happening in the context of, your child also has all this great regular access to candy and treats because like you said, you're involving her in the grocery list and lunch packing and all that, then I don't think it being handed out as an incentive is going to do that much damage.They can understand that at school, M&Ms are being given as a reward. And at home, there is a bag of M&Ms that I can just eat.CorinneWith the teachers handing out candy as incentives, I'm worried more about the kids who are not getting candy as incentives.VirginiaOh, what a terrible message. That's so sad. You did this wrong. No candy for you. It is tricky. And I mean, I don't mind kids purchasing snacks with Classroom Bucks. That feels a little more diffuse to me. That's giving them some independence. And after school activities should include snacks because the majority of children are starving after school. I think the key here is don't demonize the way she's eating because she's getting her needs met. Just maybe take some pressure off yourself. If dinner is usually something she likes, if there's an option to choose a backup option and she doesn't, then she's just not hungry. CorinneAnd maybe that can take some of the pressure off dinner. Like maybe you just make a snack plate.VirginiaSomething simpler. Or make something you're really excited to eat.CorinneSomething you like! VirginiaThat's what I often do when I can tell the kids are not in like super dinner oriented phases. I'm like, Okay, then I'm picking what I want. And we also do a bedtime snack. And in fifth grade, she's probably staying up late enough that she's up a few hours after dinner. And if she was really hungry for dinner at 3pm, and then she wasn't that hungry for real dinner at 6pm, by 8 or 9pm, she probably needs something before she goes to bed. Alright, should I read the next one? Q: My question is about restricting food, not for dietary reasons, but because of the financial and waste concerns. My spouse and I wince when we see our kids drowning their waffles in maple syrup and leaving a plateful of it, eating all the prepackaged expensive foods we try to save for their lunches and eating all the Girl Scout cookies so they don't have to share them with a sibling.I've told my kids that they never need to hide food, but I find them doing so in order to get the last of something like the Oreos they want to keep from their brother. I buy Oreos every time we go to the store, and our house has plenty of sweets and other snack foods, but eventually we will run out of things. How do we keep them out of the scarcity mindset while still dealing with the realities of eating with a family? I really feel you on the syrup. It's so expensive. CorinneI know I was thinking you're basically watching your kid pour gold on their pancakes. VirginiaIt's so much. CorinneI mean this whole question is relatable to me. I definitely had some anxiety growing up about like, I feel like my dad would always eat stuff that I wanted, like leftovers or like the last cookie or something, you know?VirginiaYeah, it's really tricky because the bummer answer to this is: A finance-based scarcity mindset can be just as damaging as a diet-culture based scarcity mindset.CorinneSo true. VirginiaKids who grow up without enough to eat, or with this sort of ever-present worry about there being enough to eat often end up with some disordered eating stuff down the road, understandably, because when there is food, they'll feel like, “I have to eat it all. Because I don't know what I'm going to eat it again.” It's totally logical. So this can be really tough. And I'm not sure from this question, if you are struggling to afford these foods? Is there a true food insecurity issue in your house? Or if it's more just, you are on a budget. CorinneYou only go grocery shopping once a week and Oreos don't last the whole week.VirginiaSo I'm not sure which one we're dealing with. But I just want to say if affording food is really hard for you, then obviously, your first priority is getting whatever support you can around that. Which could be finding out if you're eligible for SNAP benefits, making sure your kids are on the school lunch program, all the stuff that I am sure you are already doing. And don't need me to explain to you.If it's more just the “Good God, that was a $9 bottle of syrup” moment, I think it's okay to say to kids, “This is a more expensive food.” So we're going to be mindful of that. With syrup, if you have little ramekins or bowls, you can say, “We're going to give everyone their own syrup.” And pour generously! Don't flood the plate the way they would flood the plate, but pour generously enough so that every kid feels like they have their own and they don't have to share it.We do this sometimes with something like brownies. Or if we have cake or some dessert that we don't have as often. When I know the kids are going to be really excited about it, I often will just go ahead and portion it out. Not because I'm trying to control how much they eat. But because I want them to know, “I'm definitely getting mine.” This actually just happened with Cadbury Mini Eggs, which are just a prime example of a scarcity mindset food because you can only get them for a month a year and they're the best candy. It's so hard! Dan brought home a big family-size bag from the grocery store. And between me and the girls, it was gone by the next night and he was like, “Really? Really? There are none left?” I think he was mad he didn't get any. But I was like, “Yeah, no there are none left.” I know that you thought that was a big bag, but we haven't had these in ages and we're all real jazzed about it.CorinneYou need to start portioning out some for Dan.VirginiaI suppose that would have been nice of me. CorinneSo if you're portioning out the brownie—what does that mean? Like you cut the brownies into four squares and give everyone a square? VirginiaI usually give everyone two squares because I feel one brownie is never enough.CorinneOh, you cut them into normal sized pieces. VirginiaOh yes. I just cut up the brownies. But rather than put the pan of brownies in the middle of the table, which might make everyone worry, like, “Am I going to get the piece I want?” Especially because, in my household, center-of-the-pan brownies are highly coveted. It's a whole thing.  So I'll just go ahead and be like, “Here's your center brownie.” So they don't have to be anxious about whether they'll get one.Maybe also, talk to your kids about which foods they worry about wanting the most. It's useful to know what that is. So you can think about how to ease up that fear, in a way that is in line with your budget. But maybe the kid who's hiding the Oreos, you buy them their own jumbo bag of Oreos and they don't have to share. And maybe if that's in your budget, you do that for a few weeks and see how that goes. And maybe every kid gets their own favorite snack food in that kind of quantity, which they don't have to share with a sibling. And then it's understood that all the other stuff is shared. It's not teaching restriction or scarcity to say, “Okay, let's make sure everyone has their seconds before you have thirds.” That's manners. That's okay. CorinneOr to maybe just one week buy like super extra amounts of Oreos and be like, eat as many Oreos as you want this week. VirginiaAnd see what they do with that. That would be interesting.CorinneAll right. Here's a question for you: How comfortable are your Charlotte Stone clogs?VirginiaThey are comfortable for clogs, is what I would say. And I love clogs very much. But they are a little bit of a scam in that they are not actually the most comfortable shoe. So I do not equate them to sneakers. For sure sneakers are more comfortable. Birkenstocks are more comfortable. But I wear my Charlotte Stone clogs the way other people might wear a ballet flat, or a loafer, like a dressier shoe. And I feel like no dressy shoe is ever really that comfortable. They're pinchy or they give you blisters. And so by that standard, these are quite comfortable. Because they have a built-in memory foam padding situation. So you're not walking on a block of wood the way you are with some clogs. I feel like I got shin splints from those, back in the day. They're definitely more comfortable than that. But I wore them downtown yesterday. And I did move my car to avoid walking two blocks because it was uphill. So I don't wear them for extensive walking. CorinneBut you would say they're more comfortable than some clogs?VirginiaI think yes. Of the various cute clog brands.CorinneFashion clogs.VirginiaThey are the most comfortable fashion clog I have tried and I have tried probably three or four brands. Like they're better than Number Six. They're better than Swedish Hasbeens. CorinneMy issue is that clogs are always too narrow for me. I can never find clogs that fit.VirginiaYeah, and I mean I have narrower feet, so I don't know how useful Charlotte Stone is on that front.CorinneThey do have a lot of sizing info. I tried some Charlotte Stone non-clogs, like they had a cute sneaker-ish thing, because they go up to size 12. Which should be what my size is, but they were way too narrow. Like I could not even get my foot in.VirginiaThat's such a bummer. Somebody could get into the wide width clog market and do very well.CorinneOh God, seriously. I found one clog that works for wide-ish feet. It's called Haga Trotoffel or something.VirginiaThat sounded like a very accurate pronunciation. CorinneI've had a pair, but it's the non-padded pure wood kind. So it's just not super comfortable to me.VirginiaThose are rough. Ever since I sprained my ankle, I am very cautious. Where am I going to wear these clogs? What sort of terrain am I walking? I really want to find some cute ones with a strap at the back for more stability. I think Charlotte Stone has ones with a strap that I'm thinking about trying, except I don't need more clogs. CorinneNumber Six also has some that are really cute and the base is almost flat. That might be more uncomfortable. I don't know.VirginiaWell I wear the lowest height Charlotte Stone clog. I do not go for their super platforms. I am not 22. That chapter of my life is closed. But they're not a Dansko clog! Let's be clear. And, I would say to be realistic that if you live on the east coast, or the Midwest, they're like, a three month a year shoe. They're great in the spring. They're great in the fall. They're going to be too hot in the summer and they're going to be useless in the winter. So factor that in. Okay, so next up: Q: I have a question about chafing. Since giving birth for the second time in 2021, my body has changed and I probably fall in the small fat category. I've dealt with chafing between my thighs and in the summers before, but now that I have to wear outside clothes and get out of the house more, I am dealing with chafing in the groin area even in the winter, which is the thing I didn't I don't have prior experience with. I am looking for recommendations for underwear that have a wide enough gusset to hopefully prevent this. And any other tips to be more comfortable in this regard with this new body of mine? Corinne, you're the underwear queen!CorinneI have a lot of thoughts about this.VirginiaYou are the resident Burnt Toast underwear expert.CorinneMy first thought is: Are we sure this is a chafing issue? VirginiaOh, what else could it be? CorinneWell, another thing that can happen when you become fat is you get irritation in your skin folds area. So just something to throw out there, because I've heard people having confusion around that before. It's like a yeast infection you can get in your skin folds. It's like a diaper rash. And you can treat it with diaper rash cream or zinc cream.VirginiaAquaphor?CorinneNo! Aquaphor? Isn't Aquaphor like Vaseline?VirginiaYeah, but I used it on my kids' butts when they had diaper rash. CorinneOkay, well, maybe I don't know anything about diaper rash.VirginiaMaybe that was a bad move.CorinneI feel like a lot of diaper rash cream has zinc in it, and it coats your skin to protect it. VirginiaI know what you're talking about now.CorinneIn terms of wider gusset underwear, there are not a lot of good options. The one option that I have found out about which I have not tried but have ordered and am currently waiting on is this underwear from the brand Panty Drop. I'm kind of confused about what's going on with them because it seems like they merged with another brand which was Kade & Vos. Okay. But they claimed to have wider gusset underwear. And another thing you could consider would be boxers or boxer briefs.VirginiaI was wondering about even a boy's short underwear. Something that has a longer thigh situation.CorinneIt goes down further.VirginiaOr bike shorts as underwear. CorinneAnd I mean, people definitely make chafing shorts. VirginiaYes! I just ordered some from Snag.CorinnePeople also like Thigh Society. So you could shop around and look for chafing shorts that you could just wear as underwear. VirginiaRight, just under your jeans or other hard pants, And where are you on MegaBabe or the other chafing balms? Do you have one you like?CorinneI have MegaBabe. I almost never need it. Just, whatever way that I'm designed, it's not an issue for me right now. Virginia I get chafing but I haven't tried MegaBabe. I actually have a very low tech hack. But I use Old Spice antiperspirant, which is my husband's antiperspirant, and I use that as my antiperspirant. And so then I just put it between my thighs as well. And I find that holds up pretty well. I sometimes have to reapply it during the day, like on a very hot day. And one of the reasons I think I don't wear dresses as much anymore is, chafing is an automatic reality in dresses. And some shorts too, depending on how they're cut. So we feel you. This is a reality of fat life for sure! CorinneIf you have fat friends, you can talk to them about it because a lot of people have this problem.VIrginiaIt's an evergreen conversation. Everyone will have opinions.CorinneOkay, next question: Q: Any tips on changing the dialogue with mom friends or friends in general who are progressive and informed otherwise, but still mired in diet culture? I feel like I'm the only one who isn't intermittent fasting or doing keto.VirginiaI posted a meme on Instagram today, there was something like to all the women who are bullying each other to order salads, aren't you so sad that you hate your life so much. And my DMs are currently flooded with people asking some version of this question: How do I keep going out to dinner with my friends who are so in this space? One person was telling me about being out to dinner and this group of women were trying to split tacos. Like tacos are small to start with. And they were all like, “Well, I can't eat a whole one.”CorinneI'm like, “Am I ordering 9 or 12.”VirginiaCorrect. The number of tacos I need to be full is a very high number. I would not split one in two. It's already only two bites!CorinneIt's like trying to split a popsicle.VirginiaIt's a total mess. So I feel like my first piece of advice is, can you make new friends? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know. CorinneMy first piece of advice is just like, Man up. Tell them you don't want to talk about it.VirginiaThat's better than mine.CorinneI mean, maybe it's harsh. It's a little tough love. Your advice is good too. There's gotta be other people out there who are sick of this. Like, every person I know could benefit from some examination of their relationship with diet culture. So I just feel like, you can't be the only one who's struggling.VirginiaThere are almost 30,000 people subscribed to this newsletter, who probably feel the same way as you because why else are they reading the newsletter and listening to this podcast?.CorinneOkay. Actually, this is a little off topic. But can I tell you something? So, as previously discussed, I go to the gym. I have a trainer there. And this week, when I saw her, she was like, “Hey, so this person contacted me who found me through Burnt Toast.” VirginiaYay! CorinneSo I'm just saying what that basically means is there is another person in the city that I live in, who's reading Burnt tToast who I don't know. And none of my friends know. VirginiaRight! But who maybe would be an awesome friend. CorinneOr who at least also has some skepticism of diet culture stuff.  So that's got to be true for you as well.VirginiaAnd you have powerlifting in common! Yes, in my close group of friends, we really never talk about this. And maybe it's because they read the newsletter and know that I'm not the friend for this. CorinneThey're scared. VirginiaBut we have so many better conversations because this is off the table for us. And we never made a conscious decision to do it. It just kind of happened. I do feel like in the past, we had more diet-y conversations. And we've all kind of shifted away from it. And it's been lovely and great for our friendships. And so maybe you do need to officially say it to these people: I love you. But I just don't want to talk about diets. This really isn't good for me. I just end up feeling shitty about myself. And there are so many more interesting things to talk about here.CorinneYeah. I think it's good for people to know that too. If people are totally unaware that talking about their diets constantly is hurting people, then they should know. And they deserve to know that.VirginiaCompletely agree. And often this talk is very performative because we think we have to talk this way. And so you being the first one to say, “What if we just ordered what we wanted to eat and didn't do this whole dance?” I call it like playing the game of Salad Chicken, where you're like,“Could I order the pasta? No, not if she's ordering the salad.” Like, if you could not do that? Man, dinner is gonna be way more fun. So just give people permission to not do it and see what happens. And if they really can't get there, then I circle back to: Can you have other friends? Or can you say to them, I don't want to spend our time talking about this but I'm really sorry you're struggling and how can I support you?CorinneOh my God, I love the idea of responding to someone who's excited about intermittent fasting with, “I'm sorry, you're struggling.”VirginiaHow can I support you in this starvation?CorinneI'm so sorry that you're not eating food.VirginiaYou're right. That might not be the moment.CorinneNo, I like it. VirginiaI think it could work? I think it's an option. CorinneI mean, I think this is also that sort of situation where you can be like, “It's so interesting that we're all so focused on our weird diets.”VirginiaThe patented Corinne “It's so interesting!”CorinneJust an anthropological, outsider observation.VirginiaIt's always, always a good moment for that. All right. Should we do Butter? CorinneYes. I do have a Butter. What I want to recommend is this recipe called Trouble Cookies. It's from a cookbook called Mother Grains, but it's also on the Bon Appetit website. And I feel like it's a little annoying to recommend because it does have a really annoying to find ingredient which is sorghum flour. [Reminder that if you preorder FAT TALK from Split Rock Books, you can also take 10 percent off any book mentioned on the podcast!]VirginiaOh Lord.CorinneBut you can order it from the internet!VirginiaCorinne will find a link for you.CorinneBob's Red Mill's has it. So if you have that kind of grocery store. Anyways, they also have coconut cashews and toffee bits and are extremely delicious. I've been trying to get my mom to make them for like a month and now I'm moving on to the Burnt Toast community. Please make Trouble Cookies and tell me how good they are.VirginiaI will try them. I will report back if I can get it together to get sorghum flour. I could use a new cookie. We're just a standard chocolate chip cookie household. CorinneI feel like chocolate chip cookies are good. But sometimes, a different direction is really good, too. VirginiaIs there chocolate in it? CorinneNo, it's coconut toffee bits cashews.VirginiaCould I put chocolate chips in instead of the toffee bits.CorinneI mean, I feel like you could? But it's really good. Do you not like caramel-y, coconut-y stuff?VirginiaAmy will tell you it is very hard for me to have a dessert that doesn't have chocolate in it.CorinneOkay, this one is not for you. VirginiaI'm just always like, but where's the chocolate? CorinneOh my God.VirginiaWhat am I doing here?Corinne I'm the opposite. And I mean, I really like chocolate. But I also really like a coconut-y caramel-y vibe. VirginiaI do too. I'm just like, but how much better if there was chocolate. That's all I'm saying.CorinneI feel like maybe you could dip it in chocolate? VirginiaAll right. I don't know. I'll try them out. I'll report back. Maybe I'll do half the batch with the toffee, half the batch with the chocolate chips. I can tell you my kids won't touch them if there's no chocolate. So that's like a non-starter. CorinneReally? Wow.VirginiaOh, please. CorinneI feel like a lot of kids don't like chocolate. VirginiaThat is not the case in the Sole-Smith home. See previous anecdote regarding Mini Eggs consumed in a day. And center brownies. It's very clear what we've come here to do.CorinneAll right, what's your Butter?VirginiaAll right, my Butter is, I am breaking up with underwire bras. Breaking news. CorinneThis is big news. VirginiaYou've all been wondering. I'm not totally breaking up with them because I haven't quite found a non-underwire bra that works under every outfit. Because there can be a uniboob situation? But I have recently purchased some non-underwire bras. And I realize now that I don't know how I made it through the whole pandemic while still wearing underwire bras every day. Every day!CorinneMe neither! I feel like when we originally talked about bras on a mailbag episode, I recommended the bras that you ended up getting.VirginiaThe True & Co bras? CorinneYes! And you were like, “Oh, never heard of them.” VirginiaWell, you influenced me. And then Marielle Elizabeth really influenced me. And I bought a bunch of them and they're awesome.CorinneThey're really good. The sizing is super flexible. I can wear anywhere from a 1x to a 3x. And I have a big chest.VirginiaYou do have to look for the full cup. Because I ordered some that were like a half cup and they do not work if you are someone with a big chest. CorinneYes, they have full cups and regular cups. VirginiaSo you have to look for the full cup. I can only find them on Amazon right now. I don't know. CorinneThey're only on Amazon now. VirginiaIt's really irritating. I would like there to be other options. But the other one I'm wearing a lot of, is I have some of the Paloma bras from Girlfriend Collective. And actually, this one isn't the Paloma, it's the high necked? I don't know. But I like it because it feels just like a tank. Yeah, I don't know why it's taken me so long to get here. I will be 42 a few weeks after you hear this episode. It's taken me a while. But now, I realize that I don't have to accept permanent marks on the side of my body from bras. Like what was I doing? I think I thought I really needed more structure. I'll unpack it all in an essay at some point. But for now, I just want to report the liberation that I am wearing underwire bras much less frequently. And it's delightful. CorinneI love that. VirginiaAll right. Thank you all so much for listening to Burnt Toast!CorinneIf you'd like to support the show, please subscribe for free in your podcast player and leave us a rating or review. These really help folks find the show.The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith (follow me on Instagram) and Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, and Big Undies—subscribe for 20% off! The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Lyz Lenz, author of the newsletter Men Yell at Me and the brand new book This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life.This American Ex-Wife is available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Anita Bhagwandas, author of Ugly: Giving Us Back Our Beauty Standards.  Ugly is available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Melissa Walker, head of Giving Circles at The States Project about how to save democracy.The States Project works to flip state legislations blue around the country. In 2022, Burnt Toast raised over $28,000 to hold ground in the Arizona State Senate. Last year we raised over $15,000 to elect majority making candidates in Virginia, where we defended the State Senate and flipped the House of Delegates to put a wall in front of Governor Youngkin's right wing agenda. You can help us do it again! Join the Burnt Toast Giving Circle and vote in our poll for the state you want us to support. You can also start your own Giving Circle to support the state of your choice!To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $7 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Meet Isabel! In today's episode we interview Isabel, who shares about growing up as a fat kid, diabetes being used as a future threat, and coming to peace with her body and diagnosis. Isabel's experience and passion have led her to pursue social work as a fat positive therapist. Links to resources mentioned in the episode:“Fat Talk” by Virginia Sole SmithMila Clark @thehangrywoman's Instagram post"In the Dream House" by Carmen Maria Machado (TW for abuse)LINKS:Apply to be on the podcast! Find out more about Kelly hereFind out more about Erin hereDISCLAIMER: We are dietitians and diabetes educators but we are not YOUR dietitians and diabetes educators. The information provided in this podcast is not intended as individualized medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. If you have a medical concern, go to your health care provider or seek other professional medical treatment.

Our culture is OBSESSED with female bodies and their appearance making us all “beauty sick.” From constricting clothes to anti-aging skincare products, beauty culture eats up our precious time, money, and energy. This is an eye-opening and deeply-relatable discussion with Dr. Renee Engeln about “beauty sickness,” the disease that plagues so many women (to no fault of their own). You will learn about... - what the research shows about beauty culture and objectification of women - the performative aspects of femininity - the psychological effects of aging in a beauty-obsessed society - how we can fight off beauty sickness both individually and collectively Renee Engeln, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, is the author of Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women. Her lab (The Body and Media Lab, a.k.a. “BAM”) conducts research exploring issues surrounding women's body images, with a particular emphasis on cultural practices that create or enforce the frequently contentious relationship women have with their bodies. The research, which has appeared in numerous academic journals, focuses on Objectification Theory, Fat Talk, and Idealized Media Images. She is regularly interviewed by the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, BBC, the Huffington Post, and other national media. Her TEDx talk has over 800,000 views on YouTube. Remember: Though we won't heal from beauty sickness overnight, we have the power to minimize how much we participate in it. Get Dr. Renee's book, Beauty Sick: https://amzn.to/4c67da9 Learn more about Dr. Renee's Body and Media Lab: http://bodyandmedia.com Watch Dr. Renee's TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63XsokRPV_Y And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @beauty_sick Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 18, Mary's first interview with Dr. Renee: https://open.spotify.com/episode/155JFBTBxSGCCA2UMK12qk?si=gWFYNVAjQxu2S2J8j69Z-w

Today Virginia is chatting with Angel Austin and Ani Janzen from the Association for Size Diversity and Health. To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $5 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Jenn Romolini, author of the memoir Ambition Monster, which just came out on Tuesday!Ambition Monster is available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Emma Copley Eisenberg, author of the hybrid nonfiction book The Third Rainbow Girl, and the new novel, Housemates, which just came out on Tuesday!Housemates is available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop! Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing and subscribe to Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Jeanie Finlay, director of Your Fat Friend, a film about fat activist and author Aubrey Gordon. Your Fat Friend is streaming online at Jolt.Film until June 17! To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are just $5 per month! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay. Follow Virginia on Instagram, Follow Corinne  @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Are you looking for a magical place to shop and hold space? Check out Ritual+Shelter online or in Homewood, Alabama. Browse through their bookshelves covering topics  such as Energy Healing, Reiki, Chakras, Auras, Accessing the Akashic Records, Shadow Work, Astrology, and Earth Based Healing.   You can also find herbal teas and tinctures alongside crystals and oils to help establish a mindful mindset and fluid ambiance before meditation, ritual work, and reflection.   Ritual+Shelter is dedicated to providing one on one in depth conversation with customers to help them find the most efficient healing methods and resources that match the customer's unique interests and energy. They offer Tarot sessions as well as reiki, soundbowl, and Crystal healing. Visit ritualshelter.com to book an appointment and bring peace back to the body, mind, and spirit.    As this podcast goes to air, we've moved through the Taurus New Moon, a time of setting new intentions, of recognizing the growth you've been through this spring and how you want to move forward. Most of the planets are direct, except Pluto.. hopefully you are feeling this direct motion in your life.   It's easy to get sidetracked.. to doubt this growth and to talk yourself out of everything.  The critical voice can become loud, especially when you start to take new directions in your life.   And as I was talking about last week, as we approach the summer, confidence around your body can start to come in. I know it does for me. The weather is getting warmer, layers are coming off and shorts and tank tops are coming out.   Does this ruin your summer?  Does it create stress in your closet?  Is it messing up the start of your day? And what about that mirroring.. really looking at yourself. It can get easy to use zoom filters .. know what I mean?   It's time to stop the panic and stressing.. you've probably been criticizing yourself for years.. has it worked?      Do you notice this destructive part of your psyche that misuses power?  or maybe harbors feelings of resentment towards others… or perhaps even lust or greed? Or maybe even some self hatred?  

Today Virginia is chatting with Annie Nardolilli and Louisa Hall, of the band Griefcat.  Their new album Late Stage Capitalism, dropped April 19 and explores how unbridled capitalism has invaded every facet of modern life, from workplace politics to interpersonal relationships, and even our most private moments. To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber — subscriptions are as low as $4 per month this week! —to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

It's the one year anniversary of FAT TALK, so we're celebrating with a special episode for you today: Virginia is reading Chapter 11! The title is “I Got Taller and Gymnastics Got Scarier.” That's a quote from Camille, a 13-year-old former gymnast in Boise, Idaho, who you'll hear from shortly. Camille and so many other kids talked about how youth sports and dance—these activities that should be entirely body positive and health promoting—can often end up being wildly unsafe environments for kids. Especially kids in bigger bodies. If you like what you hear in this chapter, you can of course check Fat Talk out from your library or purchase the audiobook, ebook, or hardcover editions anywhere books are sold. I will be the most delighted if you get the hardcover from Split Rock Books, my local independent bookstore, which hosts the Burnt Toast Bookshop. You can also support independent bookstores by getting the audiobook from Libro.FM and the ebook from Kobo. To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing. Follow Virginia on Instagram. The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet body liberation journalism. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

This week our heroes grapple with their greatest horror yet: Being perceived! A list circulates around Liberty High that ranks the sophomore girls on their appearance, much to the dismay of just about everyone. (Except Rayanne, who is tickled to be recognized for "most slut potential.") Meanwhile, Angela is furious to have developed a zit, and even furious-er when Patty decides they should enter a mother/daughter fashion show. Also, there's a man working at the mall who may want to eat their skin. Helping me to unpack it all are Virginia Sole-Smith, author of Fat Talk; fashion designer and returning guest Samantha Rei; and Scottish comedian Sam Pirie. And then James and I share a few musings of our own.To join our weekly watch-alongs, head over to Patreon at patreon.com/mattbaume — all paying Patrons have access to the Discord server.And if you have a moment, please leave a review of Matt's So-Cast Pod on iTunes.Music by Caleb Martin - www.MartinMusicMedia.com

According to a survey, 97% of women have at least one “I hate my body” moments in a day. That's a staggering statistic! Well, the beauty and diet industry just loves that, and in fact, they work hard to create those moments so you'll buy their books or products or lies! But what if we rejected their lies and the false beauty narrative that exists in our culture? What if we embraced the truth about what God says about us and could break free from self-scrutiny and judgment? Well, my friend, get ready! Because author and therapist Melissa Johnson is here to expose the lies that fuel those “I hate my body” moments. She'll repair the broken beauty narrative that teaches you to look for the flaws and instead help you see the true, authentic beauty you've always had. SHOW NOTES: 413Podcast.com/291

Today Virginia is chatting with Mary Mahoney, co-host of the Dolls of Our Lives podcast, co-author of Dolls Of Our Lives: Why We Can't Quit American Girl, and author of Landline. Dolls Of Our Lives is available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. (This one is really good -- old magazine scans! text threads and old family photos documenting Virginia's Samantha doll trauma!)If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Christyna Johnson (@encougagingdietitian on Instagram and TikTok).Christyna is a registered dietitian specializing in eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image work. She also talks a lot about the intersection of consumerism, diet culture and white supremacy — and that giant topic is what we're getting into today. To tell us YOUR thoughts, and to get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with Lyz Lenz, author of the newsletterMen Yell at Me and the brand new book This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life.This American Ex-Wife is available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.comToday Virginia is chatting with Wendy Lopez and Jessica Jones, founders of the beloved Food Heaven podcast and the brand new Diabetes Digital. To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism. 

Today Virginia is chatting with Ash Brandin, a middle school teacher librarian better known as The Gamer Educator. Ash helps caregivers navigate screen time boundaries, to ensure it benefits the whole family. And we're going to talk about how screen time attitudes can intersect so much with diet culture and anti-fatness.To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to the first ever LIVE episode of Burnt Toast! We recorded this on December 3, at Seattle's Town Hall. This was the official end of the Fat Talk book tour, but I promise it's not a regular book promo conversation. Because it's author Angela Garbes and Virginia, talking about books, but also talking about bodies and big life transitions and other good stuff.All of Angela's and Virginia's books, are available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Today Virginia is chatting with author and feminist philosopher Kate Manne, about her new book Unshrinking: How To Face Fatphobia. Kate is also an associate professor of philosophy at Cornell University and author of Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny and Entitled: How Male Privilege Hurts Women.All of Kate's books, including Unshrinking, are available in the Burnt Toast Bookshop!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk from Split Rock Books! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)And if you love today's conversation you should come see Kate and Virginia together at Community Bookstore in Brooklyn on January 26. We'll be celebrating the launch of Unshrinking and we would love to see you there! To get all of the links and resources mentioned in this episode, as well as a complete transcript, visit our show page. If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

Burnt Toast is on winter break this week, so we're rerunning a favorite conversation from last year, with author Lyz Lenz about divorce and diet culture. This conversation was inspired in part by a piece Virginia wrote in fall of 2022 about how diet culture shows up in co-parenting. Lyz writes the excellent newsletter Men Yell at Me. She's also the author of God Land: A Story of Faith, Loss, and Renewal in Middle America, and Belabored: A Vindication of the Rights of Pregnant Women. And she just launched a brand new podcast, This American Ex-Wife, which is also the title of her next book, coming out in February and available to preorder now!Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase at Split Rock Books if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.BUTTER & OTHER LINKSOn living alone in the woods with our petsThe subversive joy of the single motherRansom NoteFAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.comToday Virginia is chatting with Crystal Maldonado, a YA author who writes inclusive rom-com novels about fat brown girls.If you want more conversations like this one, please rate and review us in your podcast player! And become a paid Burnt Toast subscriber to get all of Virginia's reporting and bonus subscriber-only episodes. Don't forget, you can always take 10 percent off that purchase if you also order (or have already ordered!) Fat Talk! (Just use the code FATTALK at checkout.)Or you can take 10 percent off if you order all three of Crystal's books, or any three books from the Burnt Toast Gift Guide with the code TREAT.And don't forget to check out our new Burnt Toast Podcast Bonus Content! Disclaimer: Virginia is a journalist and human with a lot of informed opinions. Virginia is not a nutritionist, therapist, doctor, or any kind of health care provider. The conversation you're about to hear and all of the advice and opinions she and her guests give are just for entertainment, information, and education purposes only. None of this is a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.BUTTER & OTHER LINKSlast time Crystal was on the pod! Fat Chance, Charlie VegaNo Filter and Other LiesThe Fall of Whit RiveraThe problems with “just lose weight and it'll fix itself" as a treatment for PCOSWith all of these menstrual conditions, there is just so much stigmathe Britney memoirMichelle Williams narration. (Note: That's an affiliate link to Libro.fm, the audiobook platform that supports indie bookstores!)the audio version of Michelle Williams impression of Justin Timberlake saying fo shiz, fo shiz?The MTV Diary of Britney SpearsVirginia wrote about Britney's hair for the newsletter.Butter is paywalled this week! To get all of our tween/teen and YA fan gift recs, subscribe to the Burnt Toast newsletter! FAT TALK is out! Order your signed copy from Virginia's favorite independent bookstore, Split Rock Books (they ship anywhere in the US!). Or order it from your independent bookstore, or from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, or Kobo or anywhere else you like to buy books. You can also order the audio book from Libro.fm or Audible.CREDITSThe Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith. Follow Virginia on Instagram.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism. 

You can also listen to this episode on Spotify!The new weight loss drugs such as Ozempic are stunningly effective at helping patients lose weight and improve their metabolic health. Their existence also seems to have intensified polarizing rhetoric around weight, health and BMI. On one end of the ideological spectrum, there is the “Healthy at Every Size” (HAES) movement that aims to decouple weight from worthiness—and argues that doctors who recommend weight loss to their patients with obesity do more harm by enabling body shaming without evidence to support the benefits of weight loss on health. On the other end of the spectrum is the camp that believes obesity is a result of poor health and life choices—and that patients with obesity should simply eat better and exercise more rather than succumb to the pharmaceutical industry's latest fad. is a Professor at Brown University, a best-selling author, and a leading voice in health economics. In her wildly popular newsletter, , she tackles pressing health issues of the day, helping people frame risk in order to make everyday decisions. Dr. Oster joins Dr. McBride on this week's episode of Beyond the Prescription to discuss the data on BMI and health, and how to empower readers and listeners with nuanced information to be healthy, inside and out. They review the data on the health benefits of exercise, independent of weight loss; the arbitrariness of BMI cut-offs; and the importance of focusing on health habits over a specific target weight. They agree that doctors do harm when they narrowly define health as a number on a scale—and the metabolic health involves addressing the medical, nutritional, behavioral or social-emotional elements of people's health. As Dr. McBride says, “Sometimes that includes weight loss medication. Sometimes it's a prescription to stop dieting and start eating lunch.”The transcript of our conversation is here![00:00:00] Dr. Lucy McBride: Hello, and welcome to my office. I'm Dr. Lucy McBride, and this is Beyond the Prescription, the show where I talk with my guests like I do my patients, pulling the curtain back on what it means to be healthy, redefining health as more than the absence of disease. As a primary care doctor, I've realized that patients are more than their cholesterol and their weight.[00:00:31] We are the integrated sum of complex parts. Our stories live in our bodies. I'm here to help people tell their story and for you to imagine and potentially get healthier from the inside out. You can subscribe to my free weekly newsletter at lucymcbride.substack.com and to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.[00:00:57] So let's get into it and go Beyond the Prescription. Today we have an amazing guest joining us, my friend Dr. Emily Oster. Emily is a renowned economist, a bestselling author, and a professor at Brown University. Emily is one of the leading voices in health economics. Her superpower is applying data to some of society's thorniest health questions, including why people don't always make rational health decisions.[00:01:30] In her wildly popular newsletter called Parent Data, Emily tackles pressing issues about pregnancy and parenting, helping decisions. I grabbed Emily today because I wanted to talk with her about her recent piece on body weight and health: What is the relationship between BMI and health? She pulled together a lot of data, and because weight is something I talk about with my patients every day, I thought I'd grab her for a chat. Emily, thank you so much for joining me today.[00:02:03] Emily Oster: Thank you so much for having me. It is a delight as always to see you. It's such a treat.[00:02:09] LM: Emily, you are no stranger to controversy. In fact, I was with you in the proverbial bunker during COVID, hiding from the haters who didn't like that you and I were trying to help message about risk. We were trying to help people better calibrate their degree of anxiety around COVID to their level of actual risk.[00:02:31] By the way, I stand by everything I said and wrote. I hope you do too. And it was so fun to work with you then as it is now. So when I think about sensitive subjects, I think also about weight. And so, why did you want to write about weight? Is it just that you like putting your finger in the electrical socket? Or, did you have something to say?[00:02:49] EO: So I've actually written about weight a bunch of times. So it is a topic that I work on in my academic work. So as a professor in economics, the work that I do is about health economics and statistical methods. And I actually work a lot on diet and dietary choices and why people make the dietary choices they do.[00:03:07] And so it's not specifically about weight, but it really is about food. And so this is a kind of source of data that I think about a lot. And as a result, I've written about a lot in many different ways. And every time I come at this and I've come at it from all of the angles. So I wrote a piece once called what's the best diet? [00:03:31] And it was just like the diet that you can stick to which is a sort of standard finding. But the frame was, you know, a lot of people are interested in diet. And when I write that, many people are very angry. They're sort of like, no diet works, we should never talk about dieting, is kind of what comes back.[00:03:48] I did an interview with Virginia Sol Smith, who I really like, and we don't always agree but is just one of my favorite people to talk to. She always makes me think about her book Fat Talk, which is very much in the other direction, sort of very much in the space of, we should definitely not be talking about BMI, we should throw away our scales, all foods are neutral.[00:04:10] And when I published that interview, I got it from the other side. I got the, you know, how could you possibly say this, cake and apple are not the same, like this is, this is insane. And I've written about Ozempic, so just anything, I mean, you know this—anytime you write about it in this space, there's really, really strong feelings from both sides.[00:04:26] So this piece was trying, as I always do, more or less, sometimes more successfully than others, is to try to thread the needle and say, look, let's look at the data and see between the view of BMI is completely meaningless and correlated with nothing, and the view that your BMI is completely deterministic of your health and that is the only information we should use.[00:04:49] Where is the truth? And how can we use the data to get to that?[00:04:52] LM: It is such a crucial question because everybody who's paying attention reads the headlines and understands from their doctor even that weight and weight management is good for your health. We have diet culture seeping into our pores. I mean, it's sort of in the air we breathe, everything you look at on the covers of magazines, on Instagram, and in doctor's offices is about weight, or it feels like it's about weight.[00:05:20] I see people all the time who have avoided coming to see me, even if I've known them for decades, because they thought they would feel better about themselves, and I would feel more proud of them if they had just lost weight before they came in. And as I say to patients all the time, weight is one piece of a larger puzzle.[00:05:36] It is not a reflection of your value, your worth. And it certainly doesn't tell us everything about your health. So I'd love to hear about your findings about the relationship between BMI and actual health. [00:05:50] EO: In my mind, the most, the sort of most important thing to note here is that something can be correlated and can have some explanatory power and not be all of the explanatory power. So one version of this question is to say, on average, if your weight is higher, are you more likely to have other health conditions?[00:06:13] And I should say, that's actually different from the question of whether weight causes other health conditions. But purely taking this from like a correlational standpoint, if you saw one piece of data about someone, you saw their BMI, would you learn anything about their health? And the answer is, yes. On average, there is a relationship, particularly at the upper end of BMI, between increasing BMI and worse health.[00:06:41] And in particular, worse metabolic health. So things like, there's a strong correlation between high weight and diabetes. That's just true in the data. Now, those relationships... are there, but they're actually not as big, I think, as many people think. And that's sort of the other thing that comes out of this.[00:06:58] And that, that has two parts. So one is actually, even to the extent that there's a positive relationship there, it doesn't show up until you start getting to sort of higher levels of BMI. So sometimes we talk, we talk about overweight being 25 BMI versus 24. Actually, the health differences between people with a BMI in the 25 to 30 versus 20 to 25, if anything, probably favor the 25 to 30, but you're certainly not seeing much in that range.[00:07:30] As you get into a BMI of 35-40 you do see some of those, some of those correlations. But it's also true that in almost any health outcome you look at there is variation within a group and that's the thing I was sort of trying to illustrate in the piece is you look at something like diabetes or the distribution of blood pressure, like the distribution of blood pressure, it's shifted up for people who are higher BMI, but there's a lot of overlaps.[00:07:56] Plenty of people with high blood pressure whose BMI is 19 and plenty of people with low blood pressure whose BMI is 38. And so that's the sense in which like this number Tells you maybe a little bit, but really not that much.[00:08:12] LM: let's talk about what BMI is. BMI, I mean, you define it for us here, Emily.[00:08:17] EO: BMI is a weight in kilograms divided by your height in meters squared. It's just a number.[00:08:22] LM: So what you pointed out so beautifully in your piece is that medicine does this weird thing where we say that a normal BMI, body mass index, is between 20 and 24.9, and overweight is 25-29. 9 [00:08:37] EO: You guys love a sharp cutoff. It's your, it's your favorite. You love it.[00:08:42] LM: I don't, but fine. The medical establishment loves these arbitrary cutoffs. There's nothing magical or particularly different between somebody who has a BMI of 24.9 and 25 and moreover, there are so many different elements that go into this whole person's health. That to call it a diagnosis point X and not a diagnosis at X minus .1 is ridiculous. So, you know, herein lies why we're here to talk about pulling back the curtain on what this actually means.[00:09:18] EO: Right. And, and so I should say, like, you might wonder why have any cutoffs in this at all? I think the answer to that is that when people are describing, not even doctors, when population health scientists are describing characteristics of populations, it can sometimes be useful to define categories.[00:09:40] So, you see this in weight, you also see it in something like low birth weight is another good example which has some cut-offs, right? So when we talk about baby weight, there's a number, 2,500 grams. And if a baby is below 2,500 grams, they're classified as low birth weight, and if they're above 2,500 grams, they're not.[00:09:56] There's nothing special about 2,500 grams, obviously, but it's helpful when we sort of describe a population. You want to say, does this, you know, is the low birth weight share in this population bigger than this population? We want to have a common language. And so saying, like, that's the cutoff we're going to use, so we have some number to compare, is helpful, it can be helpful. The same thing happens here. You want to describe characteristics of a population. I think the problem, and it actually shows up in the birth weight also, but the problem comes when we start, we take that, which is just away to use a number to make some descriptive statements about some population.[00:10:35] When we take that number and we decide it's meaningful. It's like a somehow a meaningful number that we would, that would tell us something if you were on either side of it. Of course it's not. And when you're using it for populations, for individuals and populations on which it was not based, I mean, this is a much deeper issue, but when we talk about BMI in particular, this is something, these are sort of cutoffs that were developed with reference to like a white European population, they may have very different meanings and relationships with health for different populations off of which they are not based. So there's a sort of whole other can of worms there.[00:11:14] LM: Totally. It's, I mean, to make an analogy briefly that you and I are familiar with is, you know, COVID risk, right? It's not that a 65-year-old, every 65 year old is at so much higher risk for outcomes. Then every 64-year-old, but there is truth to the fact that older people tend to get sicker on a population level when I'm talking to a patient who has just turned 65 and who is generally very healthy and active. I'm not going to counsel them in the same way. I'm going to talk to a 64 year old who's technically not at higher risk, who has myriad health problems. So population level data is one thing and then individual risk calibration and counseling.[00:11:58] EO: Yeah, and I think the piece of this that my senses provoke so much anxiety and discomfort in people is that it is true that, and I don't think you do this, but it is, I think, an experience people either have or fear having in their doctors. They'll be weighed, their BMI will be calculated, and then they'll be told, you know, well, you just, you edged up above, you know, 20, now you're 25.1, and like this is how we're going to define you, and that becomes such an important, like, number in the conversation, and so salient, and the words, I mean, the words we use, overweight versus normal weight, obese, those take on an attention and a meaning, and they didn't just label them BMI category one, BMI category two, which, Maybe would have been more helpful.[00:12:46] You're really using words that suggest that there's a way to be, which is normal, and then other ways to be. And that, that's, it's just not helpful. It's not, I don't think it's a helpful part of counseling. It starts people off on, on a bad, on a bad foot.[00:13:00] LM: Yeah, I mean, I think people, for better or worse, look at doctors as authority figures and people who, whose judgment matters. And if you have a doctor who is doing a little tsk, tsk, tsk, ooh, you're getting up there, that has real power in many ways. And so I think that has real power and can do real harm.[00:13:20] Which is not to say that doctors shouldn't be honest about the data in that patient's situation and what they could do and help to arm them with tools and information to be healthier. It's to say that shame is not appropriate or meaningful in any space, not to mention[00:13:37] EO: Yeah, and I think the other, the other piece that I sort of spent some time on in, in this, and is actually quite closely related to stuff I work on, is that it's actually, It's very hard for most people to lose weight. Like, we know, I mean, we can sort of put Ozempic, Wegovy aside, but for people just changing diet, changing habits, consistent long term weight loss happens for a very small share of the population.[00:14:04] And so, when we sort of start with the advice, you should lose weight, which people get, you know, in these situations, often that's just not possible. So it's like giving people a set of advice that they just... They're just going to fail on and then giving it as if, well, if only you could have this kind of willpower, if only you could achieve this, like that would be so important.[00:14:24] I think the whole dynamic ends up in a place where you're giving people advice they can't follow based on a number that may or may not be that meaningful and isn't very nuanced, and you can easily see why that generates frustration, sadness, discomfort, lack of productive conversation with your doctor.[00:14:43] And then by the way, turns off your ability to have a productive conversation because now we're like in defensive. Now you're like, well, you know, screw you, don't tell me what to do. What do you know?[00:14:54] LM: Right? If we learned nothing else during the pandemic, that trust is precious. And when you don't have trust between the doctor or patient, and there's a moralization of human behavior, we're just at a standstill. And so how do you see the data that you've pulled together in this piece and before this piece helping people, individuals who are reading your stuff and then going to the doctor's office, understand better what their weight.[00:15:21] EO: The piece I pulled out at the end that I thought was really meaningful was, in this piece I'm actually pulling data from the NHANES, the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, which is a very big survey of, of people, it weighs them, it measures them, collects a lot of biomarkers, which is why we can say all this stuff about, about health.[00:15:39] They also collect information about their exercise. And so if you look at people, if you sort of take a, a second, uh, almost a second metric of health and you ask like, okay, does this person do like some, some moderate amount of exercise a week and it's like some cutoff and you look at that relationship.[00:15:57] One of the things I show in the piece is that doing more exercise is correlated with better metabolic outcomes, better kind of health outcomes in various ways. And it's quit informative on top of BMI, and so people who are doing sort of exercise who have a BMI of like 40 actually have sort of similar metabolic health to people who like aren't doing any exercise and have a BMI that we would consider, you know, normal or, or thin.[00:16:26] And so I think for me that has sort of two pieces of it. One is that it just again emphasizes like this is one other thing you could like if you said like you can only learn two things about people It's like well, how much more could I add with a second thing? Well, actually like quite a lot the characteristic knowing somebody's BMI and whether they have exercised rigorously or moderately in the last week that tells you a lot more about their health than knowing their BMI alone You could add on top of that smoking… it's just one simple illustration of like how much more you could learn if you ask some more questions The other thing, and here I'm going to reveal what my husband is always saying, it's just like, just because you like to exercise, fine.[00:17:08] But like, actually, I think we should tell people to exercise. I think that we spend too much time telling people to lose weight with their diet, which is something we know is really difficult, and I think we should spend more time telling people, like, you should go take a walk after, like, try to walk for ten minutes every day.[00:17:27] You know, actually, it's not saying, like, you need to go run a marathon. But just some aerobic exercise. I think we have a lot of evidence from a lot of different places that that's associated with better health. And I think if we started telling people that and talking about that, we would then get to the questions like, well, how can we make it possible for everyone to do that?[00:17:45] How can we make there be safe places for people to do that? How can we increase access to sports? How can we be in a position where everybody is welcome to... to go running no matter what, you know, their race or body size or anything? And I think that's, you know, for me, that's something that's pretty, that's pretty important. And I think we're kind of missing with this focus on food.[00:18:08] LM: I totally agree. And what I love about the NHANES data is what you earlier said, which is that there's an incredibly tight correlation between the amount of exercise and health outcomes, even more than BMI and health outcomes. So when I'm talking to a patient who wants to lose weight or, you know, Needs to lose weight, perhaps I often tell them, let's not think about the number.[00:18:35] In fact, I commonly say, let's not think about the number. That's not our end point. And, and I'm not saying that to be politically correct, to pussyfoot around hard conversations is because the number on the scale is immaterial. When we were talking about this whole person, we are the complex sum of these integrated parts.[00:18:57] And you can, as you said have a BMI of 40, which is technically obese. But if you are exercising on a regular basis, first of all, your mood is better, your sleep is going to be more efficient, your blood sugar control is going to be better, your blood pressure is going to be better, most likely. And so, I focus, with my patients, less on the number and more on the behaviors.[00:19:21] The relationship with food, not just what you're eating. The cadence of how you're eating. Sometimes you don't need a fancy diet, you just need to have lunch. I just wrote a piece about that. Lunch is an underrated food group, like eat lunch. Honestly, that is huge. Sometimes we don't need to, you know, go to the doctor and be told that our weight is technically higher than it should be.[00:19:43] We need to be given materials and information on the benefits of exercise. Not just on our weight, but on our mental health, our metabolic health, our cognition, and not just... Are you told to exercise, but to help people figure out where to put it and how to incorporate it in their everyday life. Because as you know, telling someone to exercise is one thing, helping them figure out what to do is another.[00:20:10] So I think you're absolutely right, Emily. We need to treat people, not just as a set of metrics and data, but as people. And as you know, from your research, human behavior is complicated. We do things that don't serve us all day long. Even doctors do, which is again, ridiculous, why I would shame anybody for a behavior that's part of the human nature.[00:20:30] So to do a lot of shooting with patients or to say you should do this is less productive than to say like, how do you think you could incorporate a little more movement because of the data on the benefits of regular movement into your whole health?[00:20:44] EO: I actually think, you know, when we do this kind of counseling and when people hear this counseling and they hear, they sort of hear the phrase diet and exercise, like you should improve your diet and exercise. They think of that as improve your diet and exercise so you'll weigh less. And that's the link we should sever.[00:20:59] It would be, I think there's a place to say, improve your, let's think about are there changes you could make to your diet that would make you feel better? Are there ways for you that you could incorporate exercise, which by the way, like 10 minutes of walking slightly faster than you would otherwise, that's exercise.[00:21:16] That's an exercise activity, so just like making it clear that these things are possible. But also without saying, and if you did that then the number will look better on the, no, if you did that maybe some of these elements of health, metabolic health, maybe some of this would improve, your sleep might improve, your mood might improve, that's what we're aiming for. We're not aiming for some number.[00:21:37] LM: That's right. And by the way, when you're sleeping better and your mood is better and your dopamine hormone axis is being triggered by the lights of being outside and feeling more fit and getting the endorphins going that is good for our metabolic, metabolic health too. But I also want to be clear that I don't shy away from talking about a number when it is relevant.[00:22:00] So if somebody has bilateral knee osteoarthritis, bone on bone, and their BMI is 40, and they're resistant to, you know, getting a knee replacement, we have to talk about weight. So it would be irresponsible for me to say, oh, weight loss isn't going to matter to this gravity-dependent set of joints. And so that is where it gets really hard, but it is where I actually like for me it's my like superpower is never to have judgment about it because by the way when you have bone-on-bone arthritis in your knees As a result of age and genetics and weight all together you can't exercise and You gain weight more easily.[00:22:43] And so this is what happens. So there's no shame about it. It's just, let's figure out what to do. But we have to talk about the number, not just the number, but we have to talk about what weight might make sense to that offset pressure on the knee.[00:22:56] EO: Yeah, I mean, that's such an interesting, like, it's, this conversation is so hard because it takes, like, it's so hard to have that conversation. And I bet you are really good at this, but I think for me, it's very hard to have that conversation without it feeling like shame because of the, as opposed to just saying, look, there are a bunch of things, like, there is a physical reason why this, this number matters, not because this number has to do with whether you're a good person or not a good person or have willpower or whatever, it's just like, this is putting pressure on your knees.[00:23:23] LM: Well, and that's why I'd really like to reinvent the healthcare system to have doctors incentivized to have more time with their patients to understand their story and to build trust and rapport and for patients to feel comfortable and then to train doctors on sensitivity on these subjects. Which, by the way, doctors went into medicine, the field of medicine to do that, but it's just people don't have time and then people don't trust and then there's diet culture and then it's just lose weight, exercise more, see you next year.[00:23:50] EO: This is totally off topic. I mean, it's a little bit off topic, but, but one of the things that's been pretty effective in, you know, obstetrics is these group prenatal care. People have exactly this sort of same complaint about, like, there isn't enough time to talk about all the issues that have come up, da, da, da.[00:24:05] And so they do these things where it's like six people, but you get two hours, you know, and we do, like, there's this sort of examination component that happens, like, that's short for each person, but then we all, they, people all talk together, and it turns out to actually be, some good evidence on the relationship between that and preterm birth, particularly for black women.[00:24:20] So I wonder if there's like, I almost think there's like a parallel care model, where it's like, we have a group of people here for counseling about, you know, whatever it is, improving their heart disease metrics or something.[00:24:33] LM: Yeah, stay tuned for some courses I'm going to be offering in 2024. One of my little kind of mantras is that health is about more than BMI. It is about having awareness of our health ecosystem, which includes ur story, it includes our data, it includes understanding our genetics, and then sort of a laddering up to acceptance of the things we can't control.[00:25:01] Maybe we are predestined to have a higher-than-ideal body mass index because of our genetics. And we have to accept that. We have to accept that we are predisposed to diabetes. And then agency over the things we can control. So, arming yourself with tools and information to carve out space in your life to work on the things you have control over, which are a lot.[00:25:26] But if you're stuck in the acceptance bucket where you're not accepting hard parts of your genetics or your story that you can't control and you're then listening to a lot of kind of wellness gurus who are telling you that, you know, thin is better or whatever, even just all this messaging. And then you're spending a lot of brain space trying to accept things you really need, or trying to control things you can't control, that's where people run into trouble, and that's where shame is born, and that's where people, frankly, binge on things like food and alcohol, and that's where we land in trouble. And so if we could just help people understand they're not alone, they're human, and that we all have our challenges. One of them, for a lot of Americans, is weight.[00:26:12] And that they're not alone, and that there are things they can do to be a lot better off. So... What was the takeaway from this piece you wrote? Like, what was the reaction? Because, as you said, like, there's sort of two camps. It's like health at every size, there's a movement, which I agree with in many ways, except that there are certain medical realities we have to acknowledge.[00:26:32] And then there's the sort of, weight is genetic, and there's nothing you can do about it. And, I mean, there's just, there's just these false dichotomies. [00:26:39] EO: So I think like with most things, most people are in the center. And so this kind of like, I think that many people found this interesting. You know, I'm not sure everybody thinks about this data quite the same way, and sort of seeing some graphs about it, it made some people think. A bunch of the comments were like, yes, like I started exercising, and I felt like this is very validating, because like, that, you know, that totally changed, but then my weight didn't change, but still I feel better, and I was trying to understand that.[00:27:08] So there was like some good stuff there. And then I did get, certainly, some people who said, you know, talking about BMI at all is very fatphobic and I am, like, I will say, like, I'm a relatively thin person and so I think, you know, I don't know, I guess that's part of, part of it. And then certainly there were people on the other side who said, you know, this whole thing is like, you know, anybody who's overweight is just, you know, is just lazy and I don't agree with that at all. But some of those people fought with each other and, you know, that's what comments are for.[00:27:39] LM: That's what's comments are for. And that is why Emily Oster is here. Emily is here to help us get to these story issues, and ask the questions that... People are wrestling with every day, like, can you have a glass of wine when you're pregnant? Can you have bluebean cheese when you're pregnant? Can you jettison some of the shame about parenting and the parenting industrial complex?[00:28:01] And thank God for you because I think you're doing so much good, Emily, and you're reassuring people based on evidence. You're not reassuring people for the sake of reassuring them for you to look good. You're reassuring them because you have the data to show. How to calibrate risk to, or sort of how to calibrate anxiety to the actual[00:28:21] EO: Yeah, I mean, I see a lot of what I try to do is sort of help people see what those risks are and make the choices that work for them, which [are] going to reflect our own risk tolerances and preferences and, and what's important to us.[00:28:33] LM: Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, as we talked about during COVID quite a lot, it's about framing risk. It's not about telling people how to feel or telling people how to choose. It's about framing risk. And then it's like, you do you, and that's fine. And if you do something that's not healthy for you, that is fine too. As long as you're armed with the data, then that, that, that is, that is great. Emily, thanks for joining me. And by the way, how can people sign up for parent data?[00:28:56] EO: So, parentdata.org, you can find me there, we have a newsletter that goes out, we have an enormous volume of writing for pregnant people and parents and, and some things for people who are not parents, and we have like a little search AI, so parentdata.org is the best place, or you can find me on Instagram at profemilyaster.[00:29:20] LM: Thank you all for listening to Beyond the Prescription. Please don't forget to subscribe, like, download, and share the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you catch your podcasts. I'd be thrilled if you liked this episode to rate and review it. And if you have a comment or question, please drop us a line at info@lucymcbride.com. The views expressed on this show are entirely my own and do not constitute medical advice for individuals. That should be obtained from your personal physician. Get full access to Are You Okay? at lucymcbride.substack.com/subscribe

Today Heather answers three listener questions related to body image and self-worth. These questions were taken from the Facebook group "Body Image for Christian Women" (Join anytime and look for opportunities to submit your questions!) Heather's first question today tackles the issue of when you "arrive" on your body image journey, if you finally stop hating your body. The listener asks if there's a certain point you reach when you either decide that you love your body or decide that your body doesn't matter. The second question today hits the topic of BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) and what to do about it. Heather has addressed this topic before in this episode here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/what-to-do-if-you-hate-your-stomach-or-other-body-parts/ Heather also addresses a question about how to respond when others make comments about dieting, body size, looks, or other people's bodies. Finally, Heather tackles a question about what good could possibly come from gaining weight or getting fat. Heather delicately approaches the issue to encourage the listener that God can use all things for his good, even that! Want to learn more about Heather's new book, the 40-Day Body Image Workbook? Learn more here: https://amzn.to/3SmjuRh (Amazon affiliate link - tiny portion of purchase through this link supports this ministry) Learn more about group coaching or the new Body Image Freedom Framework online course: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/christian-body-image-course-coaching Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this thought-provoking podcast episode, join me as I sit down with Therapist Melissa Johnson to discuss the deeply resonant topic of overcoming an eating disorder and body insecurity. We discuss body dysmorphia, conquering body insecurity, and grappling with the far-reaching effects of filters and photoshop in today's beauty-centric world as a Christian woman, especially alongside our children. Throughout this conversation, Melissa not only sheds light on the challenges many of us face as Christians in our pursuit of self-worth and self-love but also offers empowering strategies for healing and transformation. Don't forget to click 'Subscribe' for more episodes with biblical life encouragement every week.  Have you rated and reviewed the podcast yet? It would mean so much if you could take 30 seconds to do so!  Find Melissa on the Impossible Beauty Podcast Get Melissa's book, Soul-Deep Beauty, HERE!  Register for The Wife Project: From Roommates to Soulmates for a happier, holier marriage in 8.5 weeks! 

Feeding kids is hard. It doesn't matter if you have a sushi-loving toddler or one who eats three beige foods. There is judgement and stigma about everything and it is easy for moms to feel like they are constantly failing. Today we talk to author, podcaster and substacker Virginia Sole-Smith (author of Fat Talk and substacker of Burnt Toast) about how kid food influencers on social media can make mothers feel shame and promote diet culture and anti-fat bias from an incredibly young age.BUY Virginia's book Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture here.https://bookshop.org/p/books/fat-talk-parenting-in-the-age-of-diet-culture-virginia-sole-smith/18525159Subscribe to Virginia's newsletter and podcast Burnt Toast here.https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/Buy The Sicilian Inheritance here.https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-sicilian-inheritance-jo-piazza/20266161

In this conversation from November 2022, host Brittany Luse chats with beauty reporter Jessica Defino about the increase in celebrity skincare lines and why the the way we talk about skin is regressive. Plus, Brittany revisits her chat with "Fat Talk" author Virgina Sole-Smith: they dive into anti-fat bias in parenting and why it's important to embrace fatness. And later, Brittany gives her take on Jennifer Aniston's latest comments on cancel culture.

Our guest this week is author and podcast host Virginia Sole-Smith. You may know Virginia from her newsletter Burnt Toast, which explores fatphobia, diet culture, parenting and health. Virginia is the author of the 2018 book The Eating Instinct. Her most recent book—Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture—which going to talk about a lot today encourages us to name and navigate our anti-fat bias so we can raise happier and healthier children.You can find Virginia at virginiasolesmith.comYou can find Kim on her Substack: kimfrance.substack.com. For exclusive Everything Is Fine episodes — along with weekly style and culture recommendations — join our Patreon: patreon.com/everythingisfine Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome journalist and author Virginia Sole-Smith to The Whole View! This week, Stacy and Virginia break down anti-fat bias, the problem with body positivity, and giving our children the gift of body autonomy and safety in the age of diet culture. Trigger warning: We will be talking about diet culture and all associations and derivatives of it, including disordered eating. Please be mindful and take care of your needs accordingly. Find Virginia: virginiasolesmith.substack.com instagram.com/v_solesmith twitter.com/v_solesmith tiktok.com/@v_solesmith Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole Smith Don't forget to subscribe to this channel and visit realeverything.com! If you haven't yet unlocked our bonus content, checkout patreon.com/thewholeview. Your subscription goes to support this show and gets you direct access to submit your questions! We also want to give a big thank you to this week's sponsors! TryNom.com/WHOLEVIEW | Get 50% off your no-risk 2-week trial Indeed.com/WHOLEVIEW | Get a $75 sponsored job credit JustThriveHealth.com/discount/wholeview | Use code WHOLEVIEW for 15% off sitewide Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate and Doree go deep with diet culture journalist and Fat Talk author Virginia Sole-Smith about the systemic roots and reach of diet culture and fat-phobia, parenting our kids and ourselves in our size-obsessed culture, and reframing our perceptions about food and health.To leave a voicemail or text for a future episode, reach them at 781-591-0390. You can also email the podcast at forever35podcast@gmail.com.Visit forever35podcast.com for links to everything they mention on the show or visit shopmyshelf.us/forever35.Shop our merch at balancebound.co/shop/forever35.Donate to the Forever35 Giving Circle (https://www.grapevine.org/giving-circle/2nlhxOl/Forever35-Podcast) to help flip the Virginia State House!Follow the podcast on Instagram (@Forever35Podcast) and join the Forever35 Facebook Group (Password: Serums). Sign up for the newsletter! at forever35podcast.com/newsletter.Come to our virtual live show on May 17th! Get tickets at moment.co/forever35!This episode is sponsored by:LATHER - Use promo code FOREVER35 at checkout for 15% off at lather.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Journalist Virginia Sole-Smith says efforts to fight childhood obesity have caused kids to absorb an onslaught of body-shaming messages. We talk about thin privilege, how to neutralize food and the word "fat," and how diet culture hurts everyone. Her new book is Fat Talk.