Fix Yourself First with Dr. Kristie

It can be tough whether it's starting for the first time or maybe even restarting the steps towards your goals.Most of the time it's the 3 P's that get in the way of forward movement.In this episode you'll learn how to identify and overcome the 3 P's:PerfectionismPeople PleasingProcrastinationDr. Kristie will share examples from her life as well as others to help you make the changes you need to create a better relationship with yourself and others, so you can design the life you deserve.Get ready to unlock the keys to overcoming obstacles on your path to self-improvement.What we discuss:Overcoming obstacles to self-improvement. Perfectionism and self-sabotage in personal growth.Perfectionism and self-acceptance. People-pleasing habits and their impact on mental health. Silencing inner voice due to fear of judgment. Procrastination and taking action. IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreetKeywords:

Are you ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth?We explore common behaviors hindering self-connection and growth.In this episode, Dr. Kristie talks about 10 common behaviors that can get in the way of having a good relationship with oneself, such as self-criticism, perfectionism, negative self-talk, and avoiding self-reflection. Dr. Overstreet provides suggestions for "fixing" each behavior. Start by applying these strategies today, and stay tuned for more insights in our upcoming episodes!What we discuss:Common behaviors hindering self-connection and growth. Self-criticism, perfectionism, and negative self-talk. Self-compassion, boundaries, and forgiveness. Self-care and personal growth habits.Common self-sabotaging behaviors in relationships. Let's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Discover the Secrets to Healthy RelationshipLearn how to assess your relationship health and avoid staying in unfulfilling connections. Explore the key dynamics that make a relationship thrive, from mutual respect to effective conflict resolution. Discover the importance of quality time, shared values, and trust in nurturing a loving partnership.In this episode, Dr. Kristie dives deep into the world of relationships, shedding light on what it takes to build and maintain a fulfilling partnership. Whether in a relationship or looking to improve your connection with others, this episode has insights that can make a real difference.What we discuss:Healthy relationships and self-assessmentRelationship valuesShared goals and equality in healthy relationshipsBuilding trust in relationshipsLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

How can constantly seeking other people's opinions prevent someone from trusting their own judgement and decision making?In the episode, Dr. Kristie gives five steps someone can take to start trusting themselves more: reflecting on their core values, practicing self-compassion, cultivating self-awareness, looking at their past progress and small goals, and learning to say no.Mindfulness is also an important bonus step.While getting others' perspectives is fine, people need to bring their own perspectives to the table as well and make decisions that feel right for them.What we discuss:Trusting personal opinions and intuitionSeeking external validation vs. self-trust in decision-makingValues-based decision making for personal and professional growthBuilding self-trust through self-awarenessCelebrate small accomplishmentsTrusting oneself and setting boundariesLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

How do we define fidelity? What's cheating even in non-monogamous relationships?How do you deal with the feelings that come up?How do you have conversations about them and everything in between? We tend to think of being jealous in such a bad light, but there are some good things that can come from it. In the same way, there are a lot of different types of relationships, from monogamous to relationship chaos and everything in between. In this episode, I'm chatting with Paige Bond. She is a marriage and family therapist, she helps individuals, and couples work on feeling more connected and secure in their relationships.We're going to talk about how to deal with jealousy and be in an ethical, non-monogamy relationship. The different sides of jealousy, negotiations, talking, connecting, and everything else is covered in this episode.What we discuss:What does ethical non-monogamy mean?What is polyamory?How to create agreements around sexual desire? Jealousy and how to deal with it. What is considered cheating? How to ask yourself what you want? Defining terms like fidelity and cheatingLet's connect at Paige Bond: @paigebondcoachingIG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Do you ever experience feelings of rejection, abandonment, emotional abuse, physical threat, or even holding content? It may indicate a problem with emotional safety.If you want to feel more emotionally safe in a current relationship or a future relationship.In this episode, we will discuss emotional safety, what truly occurs when we lack it, how to restore sex and intimacy when they are lacking, the relationship between our attachment style and emotional safety, how that's connected to it, and the 10 practical steps to start practicing and doing right now to build up emotional safety.What we discuss:How can low emotional security be a problem?How emotional safety affects sex and intimacyWhat to look for if a partner lacks emotional safety.How attachment styles affect our emotional safetyHow do we build emotional safety?How to build trustLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

No one could be harder on me than I am on myself...I beat myself up harder than anyone else ever could...With a loud inner critic which often masquerades as "motivation," it's easy to forget the importance of self-compassion.This episode offers empowerment to cultivate healthier relationships, not just with yourself, but also with others. We dive into the power of self-compassion and how to develop it, all while sharing personal experiences and motivational mantras that have weathered challenging times. Armed with these simple yet powerful tools, stay grounded and focused in the present, letting go of past mistakes or simply seeking ways to be gentler with yourself. So, tune in and be sure to share this episode with someone you knows needs it!What we discuss:Developing Self-CompassionPracticing Self-Compassion for Personal GrowthWhat is self-compassion?How to give yourself grace?How to let go of negativity?Practice self-compassion journalingMantras that help develop self-compassionLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Wondering how to navigate the highs and lows of embracing your unique identity, especially in the face of societal norms? Join us as we engage in a heartfelt and honest discussion with the inspiring duo, Lindsay Boccardo and Lauren Moffatt. Our guests delve into their personal experiences of overcoming internalized homophobia, religious and spiritual trauma, and complicated family dynamics. They share the fear, courage, and resilience that has enabled them to stand tall in their truth.In this episode, we talk about their experiences of coming out and the importance of supportive partners and allies. Lindsay and Lauren provide useful advice on how to create an accepting environment for LGBTQIA+ individuals and their families. Finally, our guests recount the empowering process of personal growth that comes from being true to oneself. Join us on this inspiring journey as we explore the dynamics of coming out, the pressure of purity culture, and the power of authenticity. Be prepared to be moved and inspired.What we discuss:Overcoming Challenges and Embracing AuthenticityNavigating LGBTQIA+ Identity and Religious TraumaNavigating Purity CultureComing Out and Living AuthenticallySupporting LGBTQIA+ Individuals and Their FamiliesFinding Authenticity and Personal GrowthLet's connect at The Woods podcast, hosted by Lauren and Lindsay https://www.lindsayboccardo.com/the-woods.htmlIG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Facing life-altering decisions like starting IVF and getting engaged made me explore a unique six-step decision-making method. This method is not just about me; it's about you finding your way through hard choices, about embracing the empowerment that comes with making them, and about keeping an open heart and open mind. I'll unpack my process of talking, writing, researching, and seeking answers, guiding you toward making decisions that feel right for you.Trust is vital when making major life decisions, In this episode we'll delve into how to foster that trust in oneself. We'll also discuss how to navigate when you feel unsure and how to handle the inevitable setbacks. Remember, growth is not linear, and taking a step back often precedes moving forward. We'll stand together facing the tough decisions, making this formidable journey less intimidating. What we discuss:Making Difficult Life DecisionsThe Decision-Making MethodSix Steps to Mastering Major DecisionsEffective Decision Making and Future PlansNavigating Through Major Life DecisionsThe Art of Making Significant Life ChoicesOvercoming the Intimidation of Difficult DecisionsEmpowerment through Life-Altering ChoicesTrust and GrowthLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Examining our sexual template, these are the messages we received growing up through young-adult and adulthood that shape how we see ourselves and our sexual selves. In this episode, we talked about rewriting that template, examining our needs for emotional and physical closeness, confronting sexually demeaning messages, incorporating sexual touch into relationships, communicating desire, having wonderful sexual experiences, and then figuring out how to revive a bedroom where nothing is happening. I'm going to share my interview with Paige Bond LMFT from her podcast, Stubborn Love.This conversation is about breaking sexual taboos and exploring pleasure, intimacy, and equality. What we discuss:Learning about sexThe mind is the biggest driving force.How do you know when to rewrite your template?Examining expectations of yourselfThe importance of self-awareness and self-controlStarting with being intentional and realistic.The journey of sexual explorationThe importance of creating an agreement or pact as a coupleBuilding a Sexual BuffetKeeping some equality in the relationshipThe power of sharing the loadFocus on the quality and voice of your needs.Let's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreetConnect with Paige Bond LMFT @paigebondcoaching

Have you ever felt lost? Not just getting lost when driving or hiking somewhere; It means getting internally lost?Are you living a life where you feel connected to who you are? And where do you want to be in your relationships?In this episode, we're talking about what you do when you're feeling lost in your own life. Whether you're questioning your relationship or the sense of losing who you are in it.I want you to consider the internal sense of loss you may feel when you don't know what to do next, what you want, and who you are.You'll learn about the two things that happen when you question yourself.What we discuss:The internal sense of loss.The questions to ask yourselfIs this it...is this all there is?The ability to breathe again moment.What is this all I want? Common questions people ask in relationships.The difference between you and other people.Let's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstret

Is true love a reason to be monogamous?What happens when a relationship ends? If we think there's only one person for us, what would happen if they died? What if we ended our relationship with them? Why did those connections end? Does that mean the relationship meant nothing? In this episode, we're talking with Stephanie Sellars,a writer, filmmaker and performer who holds an MFA from Columbia University School of the Arts and Bennington writing seminars. Her films have won awards and screened at many festivals. Lust, Life, Love was released by 1091 pictures on various platforms and she can also be heard seen on Spotify and her jazz album Girl Who Loves.You're going to take away so many interesting things from today's episode about the film based on Stephanie's personal experiences with her own polyamorous relationships.What we discuss:True love and monogamyStephanie's journey to polyamoryThe process of coming to terms with polyamorous relationshipsFinding the authenticity of the filmBalancing acting and producer rolesTrue love and monogamyThe importance of self-care and self-awareness.Stephanie's idea of "There's no such thing as the one"The importance of communication and boundariesWhat to take away from Lust Life LoveLust Life Love TrailerLust Life Love (2021) | Official TrailerIG @the_stephanieSellarsLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstret

How's your relationship with your mother?Do you need to set up boundaries with your mom?There are a lot of problems that can arise in relationships with parents. Depending on how well that relationship is going, there can come a time when you really need to consider how it's impacting you, your family, and others close to you. My guest today is Abbey William a behavioral health therapist who provides families with professional assistance and writes and speaks on various parenting and mental health-related topics. She puts so much work into addressing generational trauma, exhaustion, and difficulties related to parenting identity. She is dedicated to connecting with, empowering, and supporting parents in all stages of motherhood.In this episode, we talk about her own experience, her identity as a mother, and the loneliness that results from unhealthy relationships. Additionally, when is the best time to put a parent on "no contact" if necessary, how we set boundaries, and much more.What we discuss:What led Abbey to social work and motherhoodAbbey's passion to help moms feel less alone.Loneliness pockets in motherhood.The estrangement project.Going no contact with a parent. Dealing with the messaging from society about motherhood.The healing journey is hard and painful.Coming home to yourself and honoring yourself. You do not have to feel guilty for walking away. Abbey Williamshttps://youthemother.com/https://www.instagram.com/youthemother/Let's connect at IG and FB:@DrKristieOverstret

The voice in the back of our heads, which troubles 70% of individuals, is mental chatter. And it results from having low self-esteem. They developed a negative acceptance of themselves as well as a lack of a positive inner voice. This 70% number is significantly lower since I believe that more individuals battle with that mental chatter.In this episode, we'll discuss the distinction between your inner critic and your inner voice, also known as your inner direction. Some individuals refer to this inner voice as their gut feeling or intuition, while others call it their inner critic.We'll also look into several scenarios in which you might notice the differences and discuss the method for doing so. I will also share tips that work well for me.What we discuss:Mental chatter and the inner critic.Separating the inner critic and inner voice.Loud inner critic vs. compassionate inner guidance.How to deal with the inner critic?Comparing yourself to others, social media and personalization.Should statements and labeling.Nurturing your inner guidance and inner critic.JournalingHow to turn down your inner critic.Let's connect at IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOvers

Discussions about trauma are everywhere. That's because almost everyone has gone through a traumatic event at some point. Everyone deals with it and reacts to it differently. Yet what unites us is the idea that trauma results in dysfunction in how we respond to it. and the fact that the trauma response is a sign of strength, not weakness.In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald, a Ph.D. trauma researcher, author, and certified life coach. She spent over a decade researching trauma, grief, and resilience. She has written several scholarly articles and three books on trauma and mental illness.I love her research methodology and how she simplifies even the most difficult concepts. Get ready for this discussion on how the trauma response is never wrong, and how we need to frame and look at trauma differently going forward.What we discuss:The trauma response is never wrong.What led her to work in trauma?The trauma response is a strength response.Misconceptions about the trauma response.How does trauma affect relationships?Understanding your partner's emotional state.The importance of personal accountability and acceptanceFor more information on Unbroken, check out Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald and her workhttps://alchemycoaching.life/https://www.instagram.com/mc.phd/Let's connect at IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Ever feel like your relationship is harder than it's suppose to be? That no matter how hard your try it feels like you just can't make it work?You could be missing one of the lessons I'm sharing with you after 16+ years of working with couples. In this episode we're going to take on the 5 lessons.It can be overwhelming to be in a relationship. But when difficulties arise, they make you feel helpless. You certainly could use a few lessons to support you as you show up to be your best self. It is very possible that as you alter and become your healthiest self, maybe you'll be in a better position to decide what has to be decided for your own wellbeing.Covered in this episode:How to deal with problems in your relationship.“We can't expect someone to stay the same, we don't stay the same.”Be realistic in your expectations of your partner.Believe their actions and words.The power of trust.The importance of emotional safety.How powerful is selfishness?Let's connect at IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

How can you communicate more effectively in your relationships? Start by accepting that you have no control over anyone else. You only have control over yourself, and that means being fully and authentically responsible for how you communicate.Your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and experiences effect how you show up in your relationships.Are you taking what someone says personally? Are you taking responsibility for what comes out of your mouth? Are you playing the victim? Do you get caught up in tit-for-tat arguments?In today's episode, Dr. Kristie will walk you through five specific actions you may start taking to improve your communication skills in relationships.Covered in this episode: What are the best ways to communicate with your partner?How to take radical responsibility in communication?The problem with personalizing.Playing the victim.Knowing what your wants and needs are.Speaking up for your needs.The importance of communication and working through issues.Links mentioned:https://drkristieoverstreet.com/iim IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Achieving your goals doesn't always require hard work, determination, or willpower.What's more important is your process or steps to complete the goal.Although you have had willpower in the past, did you achieve your goal? You've put a lot of effort into it and worked really hard on it, but did you achieve your goals?Did having determination make your goal happen? Even if you put forth a lot of effort and have a strong sense of willpower, you know that you don't have a doable process that suits you and your unique self.In this episode, Dr. Kristie talks about the five simple strategies for staying accountable that she uses to achieve personal and professional goals.Covered in this episode:How to achieve your goals without working so hard, having the determination, or the willpower?The power of adopting a consistent mindsetSetting realistic and doable goals.Setting up and having the visuals will help you create the steps to achieve your goalsMake it easy to accomplish steps or processes to meet your goal.Give yourself permission to ask for outside help.Links mentioned:https://drkristieoverstreet.com/iim IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Do you ever get so lost in overthinking that you can't focus or make good decisions? Whether you're worried about what you said, that fight with your partner that y'all haven't worked out, fear that your job will be cut, or about what could happen to your children?These are areas that do deserve attention especially when problems need solving, but getting stuck in your overthinking will buckle you.Overthinking will continue to get in the way of your progress if you let it. You can't emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually afford to continue your habit of overthinking.In this episode, Dr. Kristie will share the tools you can use the next time you get caught in your overthinking patterns.Covered in this episode: What is overthinking?Common reasons that lead us to overthinkHow we get stuck in the past, present, and future state of overthinking?Proven tools to help you stop your habit of overthinkingLinks mentioned:https://drkristieoverstreet.com/iim IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Sexual desire, arousal, and differences in desire happen, especially through changes in our life experiences. Dealing with these issues can cause shame, embarrassment, and anxiety. The messages we've received through the years contribute to our self-talk, especially when it comes to our sexual selves. We begin to believe that something is wrong with us or that our desire is directly connected with our ability to love our partner and many other myths that negatively affect our sexual self-esteem.In this episode, Dr. Kristie will explain why the three most widespread myths about desire differences exist and why you should stop believing them. And by being conscious of these characteristics of desire differences, you can change your internal script and rewrite the belief about your sexual self in relationships. t's time we make sex less hard to discuss and such a heavy topic.Covered in this episode: What are the three most common myths around desire differences?What three layers make up sexual desire?Exploring your sexual template.How do you relate to yourself and your partner in these different areas of intimacy: body, mind, heart, spirit, and connection?Sexual arousal is the physical part of sexual desire.Emotions that cause problems with arousal and sexual arousal disordersHow we wrongly connect love and desire?Links mentioned:Free Women's Workshop: 5-Step Method Emotional + Physical IntimacyIG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreetReady to learn more about how to recognize and rewrite your sexual templates? Check out this article Rewriting Your Sexual Template

Why We Have To Uphold Boundaries In Relationships?What are boundaries in relationships?How do you uphold your boundaries?What happens when your boundaries aren't respected?In this episode, Dr. Kristie shares examples of boundaries in relationships. It may sound simple, but there are three steps involved in creating healthy boundaries. Without these three steps, boundaries can feel overwhelming and impossible to uphold. Since boundaries are how we teach people how to treat us, ensuring we have healthy boundaries is how we develop lasting relationships. Covered in this episode: What are boundaries? What happens when we don't uphold them?What are relationship boundaries?Examples of Relationship Boundaries.What happens if you fail to establish and uphold healthy boundaries?Why it's so hard to create boundaries?What do healthy boundaries look like?What to do when someone doesn't respect your boundaries?The strength of the relationship and upholding healthy boundaries is shown by the ability to work through, handle, resolve, and move forward.Links mentioned:Free Women's Workshop: 5-Step Method Emotional + Physical IntimacyIG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

How's the foundation of your sexual self? What were the messages about sex and your body that you were told growing up as a child? What were the messages about sex and your body that you were told growing up as a teen? What were the messages about sex and your body that you were told growing up as a young adult? Is your sexual template affecting your present relationship? Or your previous relationship? In this episode, Dr. Kristie shares how to recognize and rewrite your sexual templates. You may rewrite your sexual template if you choose by first understanding what it is, where it came from, what it is made of, and how it works. Covered in this episode: What is our sexual template?The sexual template we've created for ourselves as adults.What our sexual template is made of?Understanding the patterns of arousal.Our ability to trust oneself and others.Each room in our house has different needs and desires.What are you telling yourself about your sexuality?How do you see yourself in a relationship to others?Aligning with who we are instead of with what other people told us was acceptable or unacceptable Links mentioned:Free Women's Workshop: 5-Step Method Emotional + Physical IntimacyIG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

If you're in a relationship, or, single, ask yourself the following:How do I define intimacy?What are my intimacy wants, needs, and desires?Which ones are important to my partner (or future partner)?Which do I need to prioritize for my current (or future) relationship?In this episode with Dr. Kristie will take you through the final 6 of the 12 types of intimacy.Because it is never too late to build a good relationship by beginning within yourself, you are proactive, looking forward, and making plans right now to do what's best for you.Covered in this episode: Communication is the most important part of intimacy.Talking and discussing things help you feel more connected.As intimacy goes up, so does trust.Why aesthetic intimacy is so important.How do you handle a crisis when a crisis hits? How do you support one another?How can spiritual intimacy deepen your connections with one another?It's important to speak up assertively.Setting clear boundaries is how we teach people how to treat us.How you handle conflict will help you determine just how you're going to work out this relationship.Links mentioned:Free Women's Workshop: 5-Step Method Emotional + Physical IntimacyIG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreetIdeal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup

When you consider the various types of intimacy, which types of connection do you prefer in your relationships?Are we changing alongside with a relationship? Or are we changing opposite of the relationship?If you're single, think about which ones are top priorities for you as you look for a partner in the future.In this episode, Dr. Kristie will help you better understand intimacy and how to use it to actually improve your relationships. So you're already one step ahead of the game by knowing yourself, understanding your intimacy needs, and preparing to avoid becoming a statistic of a short live relationship. Covered in this episode:The average length of a marriage in the US and on average most relationships lastWhen you hear the word intimacy, what comes to mind?How would recreational intimacy make you feel connected in your relationships?What is intellectual intimacy? What does it mean?The biggest sex organ we have is the brain.What are some of your pet peeves?The importance of commitment intimacyWhat does emotional intimacy look like? Links mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroupp

Is your anxiety affecting your relationship, or do you have worries that prevent you from dating or pursuing relationships?Do you experience increased anxiety around sexual intimacy?Do you rely heavily on your partner to reassure you or calm anxious thoughts?Do you avoid serious conversations with your partner because you are afraid of conflict?Do you constantly fear that your partner is going to leave you?Do you experience anxiety when your partner is away?Do you convince yourself your partner is unfaithful with no evidence?If you answered YES to any of these questions, get ready to transform your anxiety. In this episode of Fix Yourself First, Dr. Kristie shares with you the 5 unexpected ways anxiety manifests, which can damage your relationship. From the questions to ask yourself, the specific issues that cause conflict, and tips to begin dialing down your anxiety, this episode will help you identify the self-change needed to create the relationship you deserve.Covered in this episode:➡Exploring the questions to figure out if anxiety is causing issues in your current or future relationship➡Behaviors that you're doing that surface from anxiety➡How do your thoughts and beliefs about your relationship trigger your behaviors and feelings?➡How nervous laughter, caretaking, losing yourself, desire differences, and being overly dependent on your partner can cause relationship damage?➡Scaling your relationship anxiety, so you feel more confident and connectedLinks mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup

Have you ever heard or thought that taking care of yourself means you're a selfish person? If you take time for yourself, set boundaries, or put yourself as the priority then you are selfish. In today's episode, Dr. Kristie talks about the benefits of focusing on yourself and the reasons why taking care of yourself isn't selfish. When you take care of yourself, everyone around you benefits and this episode will help you embrace this truth.Covered in this episode:➡ How many times have you thought self-care or taking care of me is selfish?➡ When I take care of myself, everyone around me benefits.➡ Were you told as a kid that something you did or how you acted was selfish?➡ The reason why taking care of ourselves isn't selfish➡ Our level of healthiness where we're at as a whole person affects every single relationship connection we're in ➡ Your ability to take care of yourself affects every relationship you're in➡ If you keep giving, giving, giving, you're going to be empty.➡ What does it look like to focus on yourself?➡ Be realistic in expectations of self especially when it comes to self-careLinks mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup

If you want to change the feelings of not being good enough or worthy enough, being lost or alone, and generally feeling very down about yourself?Today's episode Dr. Kristie Talks about the 3 simple tweaks to prove that you're good enough.Covered in this episode:➡ What if I told you there were three things you could do today with just a little bit of time that would change how you see yourself?➡ You are the foundation of who you are.➡ How to deal with feeling lost and lonely.➡ Feeling lonely can trigger the idea of not feeling good enough.➡ Common things to a lot of people forget is not sleeping and not getting rest.➡ Loneliness can come up and trigger us to not feel good enough.➡ Common triggers that lead you to feel not good enough.➡ What is an anxiety spiral? How does it happen?➡ Scaling your anxiety.➡ How do you know you're good enough? How will you know?➡ You are worthy of love and acceptance. You know how to get there.Links mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup

Are you living in your values? If you stop and consider it, everything you do is always influenced by your values.Most of us need a wake-up call to return to what we value as a person. Instead of being stuck and living into other people's values and might be struggling to live what we truly value.In today's episode Dr. Kristie talks about what your values are, what's important about them, and then the power of those values, and how to apply the values filter.Covered in this episode:➡ Are you living in your values? ➡ What is a value? What are your values? ➡ You can use your values as a way to help you make decisions.➡ Self change and growth: how to be your healthiest self?➡ What is a values filter?➡ Relationships are less likely to be healthy when there are fewer shared values.➡ Using your values to filter out decisions that don't line up with your values.➡ How we feel about ourselves and our decisions in our connection and relationships flows on to everything around us.Links mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup

Our Guest Nicola Harrison is the author of two historical fiction novels, Montauk and The Show Girl (August 10, 2021). Born and raised in England, she moved with her family to Southern California when she was 14. She is a graduate of UCLA and received her MFA from Stony Brook. Prior to writing novels she worked as a fashion journalist in New York City and now lives in Manhattan Beach, California with her husband, and two sons.Covered in this episode:➡ The expectations of women in the 1930's and what's different nowadays.➡ Why are we still struggling with some of the same things?➡ Finding the balance of doing things that make you feel good about yourself while also keeping yourself as a priority.➡ Finding like-minded people to share your passion.➡ Piece of advice to someone who needs to pivot?➡ If you have that gut feeling inside, have faith that that's you speaking to yourself and knowing what's right for you and just go for it.➡ How to stay inspired and motivated.Links mentioned:- Nicola Harrison: https://www.nicolaharrison.com/the-show-girl- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup

Have you ever thought about how you show up specifically in your relationships?Dr. Kristie talks about these three roles as they relate to a few key areas of your life, including self-care, boundaries, communication, conflict, and sex and intimacy.Stick around until the end, and learn more about these three roles if you want to have a healthy relationship with yourself and others.Covered in this episode:➡ Three different roles and how they relate to a few key areas of your life.➡ Anxious avoiders feel overwhelmed, anxious, and avoidant.➡ Anxious avoidance leads to conflict.➡ Why do you want to be an ideal partner?➡ “You may even feel forgotten and unheard, then they notice you only when they need you.➡ Forgotten fixers are used to being in more arguing and conflict, they've learned that I don't speak up because I'm not heard.➡ How to shift from being an anxious avoider or that forgotten fixer to an ideal partner?➡ How do you know you're in your healthiest self?➡ Strategies to begin to shift into a better relationship.Links mentioned:- IG: @kristie_overstreet- FB: @DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroupReady to learn more, check out this article:- 5 ways to gain confidence in your relationships https://drkristieoverstreet.com/blog/5-ways-to-gain-confidence-in-relationships/

How healthy are your boundaries? In today's episode, Dr. Kristie shares the 9 signs that you may have unhealthy boundaries.If you feel that you struggle with creating boundaries, you should pay attention to your gut and instincts.Because if you're a people pleaser, if you struggle to say no, if you want everyone around you to be happy all the time, and you'll do anything in your power to make it happen. You may have some boundary issues.Understanding your boundaries will be the only way that you're able to create those relationships you deserve.Covered in this episode:• How Healthy Are Your Boundaries? •The second sign is not noticing when someone violates your boundaries.• “People are stepping on your boundaries, because you are allowing it to happen”. • Accepting something you don't want.•Don't let other people define your reality.• What do I want? What do I need? What do I desire?• Letting people take advantage of you and ignoring problems in relationships.Links mentioned:➡ Dr. Kristie Instagram➡ Dr. Kristie Facebook➡ Ideal Connection Facebook Group for Women➡ Ready to learn more about toxic relationships? Check out this article 5 Signs Your Relationship is Toxic.

5 Most Common Relationship Issues and How to Fix ThemRelationships can be difficult, but most of the time, we make things more harder than they need to be.You don't have to do that any longer. Dr. Kristie talks about the list of those five things you're going to watch out for and then suggestions on how to address each level. And hopes that you take those suggestions to make changes for yourself, because she believes you deserve a healthy relationship and no one can give that or do that for you. Covered in this episode:• The 5 most common relationship problems and what you can do to fix them.• The most common communication issue in relationships• “The goal is to get it heard or listened to and some changes potentially happen when you share it”.• Sexual Desire Issue.• “Start with understanding the lack of connection, and the trust within the relationship”.• What can you do well to build trust?• The two things that have to happen in order for trust to improve.• “Be open and honest with your partner”.• Financial or money issues in relationships.• When everything else becomes a priority, everything else is the priority issue.• Why some couples don't make time for their relationship.• The importance of taking care of yourself first.•“If you don't like what you see, do something about it”.Come join me over in our free FB group The Ideal Connection http://www.facebook.com/groups/idealconnection/

Intimacy and your Very Best Self with Victoria Brown In this week's episode, I'm sharing with you an interview by Victoria Brown on her Very Best Self podcast. She is New York City based Senior SoulCycle instructor, Under Armour Athlete, Certified Life Coach, and Founder of the Very Best Self Squad (VBSquad). Her fitness and mindfulness career began in Los Angeles, spread to Washington, DC, and now takes root in New York City. Her philosophy regarding movement stems from a belief that working out is more mental than it is physical. That we can use what we are fighting for within our lives and allow it to become fuel for moving our bodies through challenges and ultimately feel better mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. She interviewed me on various topics around intimacy, sex, and relationships. Topics including: • It's better to come to the table with what you know to do instead of letting other people make the first step.• What's the difference between sex and intimacy, and why is sex still a taboo topic?• How do you meet your partner when you want the same thing?• What are your thoughts and beliefs about sexual self?• Sexual Buffet of options.• What if your partner is never getting the job done? Should you break up?• Gen X is not as sexually active as the previous generation, and what will happen in our society and our culture due to that.• How do you get to the peak of sex without outside stimulation?• What is mind-body connection?• The importance of meditation. Links mentioned:Victoria Brown: http://www.verybestself.com/IG handles @victoriabrown @verybestself Dr. Kristie:Dr. Kristie InstagramDr. Kristie FacebookIdeal Connection Facebook Group for Women

To divorce or not to divorce can it work with Dennis VetranoSometimes, relationships don't work the way we want it to. There are a lot of factors that can lead into the fallout of a relationship, whether it be falling out of love, mutual agreement of moving on to different partners, or a realization of a different path. In this episode of Fix Yourself First with Dr. Kristie, we'll be talking about divorce as a whole and as an option. I'm here with guest speaker Dennis Vetrano, a divorce mediation conflict resolution, here to talk about Dennis' story, prevention of divorce, and the effects thereof.Attorney Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr. is a partner and owner of the Law Office of Dennis R. Vetrano Jr., LLC, which focuses on divorce and family law matters. He is certified in divorce mediation and conflict resolution and is a former Assistant County Attorney who prosecuted Child Abuse and Neglect cases. He has also represented minor children in PINS and juvenile delinquency proceedings, involving substance abuse/addiction and other offenses.Dennis shares his over 20 years of experience in the field with his 300,000 plus followers on Tiktok and Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube. He offers tips and insight into divorce, child support, and other family law matters, as well as relationship advice. You can also listen to his Divorce Stories Podcast to hear interviews that help guide and inform people through their marriage or their divorce journey and beyond.What we discuss:• Dennis' beginning as a divorce lawyer• Dennis' family system and its impact on him• The impact of being a divorce attorney on Dennis' relationship• Common issues couples deal with to prevent divorce• “We gotta make it work” mentality• The detriments of staying together for the kids• Importance of a healthy relationship in a family• Busting divorce myths• Narcissists in relationships• Dennis' experience with relationship fallouts• The impact of Dennis' career on his children• Listening to your own advice Links mentioned:Dr. Kristie InstagramDr. Kristie FacebookIdeal Connection Facebook Group for Women

Are you struggling with making a connection with somebody? Do you feel embarrassed when it comes to talking about sex with your partner? Pushing them away whenever the topic arises? If so, it's time to explore your attachment style. In this episode, I'll cover the influence of attachment styles on your relationships, how they were formed in your childhood, and how this relates to adulthood. Understanding attachment styles and intimacy. Covered in this episode: • Attachment styles and how they affect your relationship• Benefits of understanding attachment styles• How attachment styles form during childhood• An emotionally and physically satisfied child will have secure attachments• A child will have insecure attachments if they do not get their needs met• The four attachment styles• First type: Anxious attachment style• Second typet: Dismissive Avoidant attachment style• Third type: Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant attachment style• Fourth type: Secure attachment style• A child's perspective of attachment styles• Dismissive avoidant children did not learn how to take care of themselves• The idea of needing help from others makes them feel insecure• Fearful avoidant children display controlling and manipulative behavior• Sex for them is an expression of affection• Understand that you can work through your attachment style and become secure• Become more aware of yourself in relationships• Difference between sex and intimacy Join me in a virtual workshop alongside my good friend and therapist, Julie Ingber. We talk about walking you through your attachment styles and how they affect your sex and intimacy on a deeper level. For more information https://drkristieoverstreet.com/attachment-intimacy-workshop Links mentioned:Attachment Style + Intimacy-Sex WorkshopDr. Kristie InstagramDr. Kristie FacebookIdeal Connection Facebook Group for Women

Ways to Stop Arguing and Resolve the IssueIf you're in a relationship (or have been in one in the past), you know how difficult it is to work through conflict. Depending on your relationship's health, you either resolve the issue or get deeper into the conflict cycle. Your days of constantly arguing are over because, in this episode, I'll help you to stop arguing and start resolving your issues. Covered in this episode: • How I've changed how I deal with conflict• Why do we get stuck in arguments?• Three ways to stop an argument, including three examples for each Don't miss this episode so you can improve your communication and feel more connected in all of your relationships. Links mentioned:Dr. Kristie InstagramDr. Kristie FacebookIdeal Connection Facebook Group for Women

Relationships are all about giving and taking. Feelings, communication, and actions need to come from both partners. No one in a relationship wants to feel neglected or cared for. However, couples sometimes face the problem of giving too little and taking too much. Partnerships without equality are problematic. That's why Dr. Kristie will talk about the real benefits of equality in relationships in this episode. After listening to this episode, you'll have the strategies to improve intimacy, focusing on both partners caring for their share of responsibilities within the relationship.Also, in this episode:What is equality in relationships?How do power and control show up in relationship dynamics?4 signs of relationship inequality 3 benefits of keeping your relationship equal and balancedHow equality in relationships increases intimacy?Be sure to listen to the entire episode so you can build your healthy relationship.Links mentioned:Dr. Kristie InstagramDr. Kristie FacebookIdeal Connection Facebook Group for Women

In this episode Dr. Kristie talks about past and current relationships. How she discovers more about herself and what her needs, goals, and desires are. What We Discuss:Several patterns of self sabotageThe fear of what others would thinkThe advantages of being Vulnerable as well as its challengesWe've got to work on being more vulnerableTake a look at Rooted trust issues What you wanna do is examine, am I projecting? Am I being overly anxious?The third thing that we do that makes relationships hardly; we're really good at pointing the finger saying like your partner were the problemResentment and frustration will get us nowhereWhat are you doing to take care of yourself

Feeling bored in your relationships is worse than having arguments. There are many reasons why couples get bored with each other. It could be a lack of effort. It could be routine. Whatever the reason is, you are not alone. Boredom is a common problem couples face, especially those in long-term relationships.But you don't have to bored. Luckily, in this episode, Dr. Kristie talks about simple and practical steps that you can take to spice up a relationship that has gone stale. After this episode, you'll know exactly what to do to get over feeling bored with your partner. What We Discuss:•71% of men and 49% of women engage in acts of infidelity – this could be caused by boredom in relationships•Getting bored with your partner isn't an overnight thing; it creeps in.•First hack: Search inward. What do you need to do that can impact the relationship and connection?•Self-reflect on what leads you to get bored•Second hack: Look back to your relationship history•Do things that you used to enjoy that you haven't done in a long time•Third hack: Don't forget about play•Recreational play and sexual play will spice things up with your bored partner•Fourth hack: Create a bucket list together•Forget the barriers and impossibility of your bucket list; just write!•Fifth: Change sex locations and positions•Try something you've never tried before•Bonus hack: Take sex off the table! Build anticipation.•The anticipation for sex will arouse any bored person•Build up a “sexual buffet”Come join me over in our free FB group The Ideal Connection http://www.facebook.com/groups/idealconnection/

According to the National Association for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, approximately 30 million Americans live with an eating disorder. If you or someone you know belong to this statistic, then this episode for you. Sarah Gottfried joins us to talk about her journey of overcoming an eating disorder. What started of as wanting the perfect physical image and innocent simple dieting, spiraled into a path of rigidity, confinement, and malnourishment. In this episode, she shares the steps she took and the kind of support system that helped her overcome her eating disorder.If you're struggling with something similar, you'll feel empowered and inspired to overcome disordered eating after listening to this episode. If you know someone struggling, be sure to tune in also. This episode will teach you what and what not to say to someone with an eating disorder. We discuss:•How wanting the perfect image brought Sarah to the path of an eating disorder •Unconventional ways to recovery•How important it is to clean out your social media when you are recovering•Finding a support system to help you •What and what not to say to someone struggling with an eating disorder•Things you can do to help a loved one with disordered eating•Sarah's process of writing Full: A Memoir of Overcoming an Eating DisorderCome join me over in our free FB group The Ideal Connection http://www.facebook.com/groups/idealconnection/

Have you ever had someone hurt you so bad but felt like there's nothing you can do about it? I want to let you know that you have the power to do something about it. How people treat you is 100% in your hands. That's the philosophy behind Fix Yourself First is to take this power, embrace it, and gain control over yourself. In this episode, I'm sharing with you how to change how people treat you, from why we struggle to do it to the five go-to tips to make the changes you deserve. Let's identify the root cause of why you choose to be a people pleaser. Once that's identified, I'll walk you through the steps on how you can be the wind that controls what happens to you. We discuss the following:•Reasons why we struggle to change the way people treat us•Validation that comes from within•Five things we can do to change the way people treat usYou don't want to miss this one to take back your power and stop waiting for others to change Come join me over in our free FB group The Ideal Connection http://www.facebook.com/groups/idealconnection/

Where there are human beings, there are relationships. And where there are relationships, there is sex. For every human being, there is a different turn-on. Some people respond to the different parts of the body, but there are also many people who get turned on by erotica. Erotic literature and stories have given many people permission to explore their own feelings and sexual fantasies without shame. In this episode, we are joined by an erotica writer and podcaster under the pen name Ruan Willow. She has written romance and erotic romance books and even started her own publishing house. We discuss:-Why Ruan is writing under a pen name and has kept herself anonymous- How she manages to be a blogger, influencer, and an author all at the same time- What erotica is and why Ruan is so passionate about it- How erotica can help individuals discover what turns them on- How erotica can help couples and partners try new things out- How erotica takes you on self-awareness and self-pleasure and helps you figure out what feels good for youAfter listening to this episode, you'll be more accepting of yourself and your sexuality. There's no shame in finding out what sexually charges you.

Have you ever felt out of control or so anxious that you felt disconnected from your body? Maybe you felt so angry that all you could do was cry. So, how do you regulate your emotions?Emotions themselves are neither good nor bad, but our experiences with them can be difficult or painful. When we don't know how to deal with distress, we might turn to unhelpful patterns—avoiding or fixating on negative emotions—without realizing it.We have to develop healthy skills to build our sense of self-awareness. We need to know what we are feeling to choose a response to it.In this episode, you'll learn how to regulate your emotions with Domiana Ndour. She is a retired professional basketball player, turned two-time bestselling author, somatic healer, coach, international speaker, certified yoga instructor, babywearing educator, wife, and mom who is equipping busy moms and kids with the tools to self-heal, regulate emotions, break the cycle, and manifest the life they love.We're discussing:- Overcoming the guilt of taking care of ourselves- Evolving in motherhood- How intimacy changed in her relationship- The importance of resiliency- The power of emotional regulation- Building a better connection with self- The problem with overthinking- How to use somatic healing to improve the connection between mind and bodyAfter this episode, you'll better understand how your emotions develop and how you can intentionally regulate them on a daily basis. You'll feel more connected to yourself and others as a result of emotional regulation in this episode.

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life was? Or, struggled to find what you're passionate about? You're not alone. Almost all of us have wondered about this at some point. But, the goal is to take action on our purpose.In today's episode, I'm chatting with Christie Rocha, mental health-obsessed podcast host, millennial mom of 2, and entrepreneur, about her journey of finding her passion. We discuss her journey and experience in:- Postpartum depression- Mental health- Power of self-growth- Asking yourself "What's wrong with me?"- Dealing with the judgment of self- Surviving anxiety spirals- Resetting ourselves- And so much more!Don't miss this episode and get inspired about moving forward with your purpose and passion!

If you've ever been through a hard breakup or divorce from a toxic relationship then you know how difficult it is to imagine finding happiness again. Join me for a conversation with Lisa and Chris, co-founders of Been There Got Out, to discuss their journey of finding love and hope after high-conflict divorces. They started with a friendship that soon developed into a loving and romantic relationship and they are sharing their journey here.In today's episode, we're discussing:- Emotional detachment in relationships- Finding hope and how to trust again- How to survive in a relationship with a narcissist- Finding love again- Separating personal and professional relationships- Moving from friendship to a romantic relationships- Support if you're struggling with a high-conflict divorceDon't miss this episode!

Have you ever wished you were more confident in how you communicate? That when you talked, they listened to you and took you seriously. That you didn't get questioned, dismissed, or skipped over when you speak up.Well then, you're ready to speak up with confidence. In today's episode, I'm explaining what is confident communication and how to build it.I'm covering:- What is confident communication- Symptoms of unhealthy communication- 5 things to do right now to be a better communicator in all of your relationshipsDon't miss this episode!

When was the last time you were full of fear? Last week, I was full of fear and I've learned that my fear stems from anxiety and a harsh inner critic, including unrealistic expectations of myself. So, this episode is perfect timing because we're talking about embracing our fear.I'm chatting with speaker, author, and leader, Alexa Glazer. She guides humans to radical resilience through self-acceptance, presence, and play. She uses her words, both written and spoken, to honestly and openly connect with you, your heart, and your greatest desires.She is the author of Livin' the Dream … today because tomorrow is not promised and the forthcoming book, Your Permission Slip: To Self-Acceptance, Forgiveness and Letting Go With Grace.In today's episode, you'll learn:-How loss changes us and who we are- The power of giving ourselves permission- How we always feel we're too much or never enough- How to reframe our view of fear to work for us- How to stop making excuses to avoid fear- How loss changes how we show up in our relationshipsIf you're ready to change your view of fear and embrace it so that it works for you versus against you, stick around for our chat.

64% of Americans claim that they are very happy in their relationship with a partner or spouse and 50% claim that they are satisfied with their sex lives.How accurate do you think this number is? Can you relate? Are you happy in a relationship or satisfied with your sex life? Regardless if your single or in a relationship, in this episode, we're covering the different types of intimacy and how to get your needs met.If you've ever felt like you and your partner, or past partner, were speaking totally different languages, then one reason could be that you've got different intimacy needs and couldn't understand each others needs, much less reciprocate on those needs. Stick around to this episode and we'll get that fixed today. In this episode, you'll learn:- How to evolve your understanding of intimacy- The different types of intimacy- The give and take of intimacy in relationshipsDon't miss this episode!

When did you learn what intimacy means? Have you ever thought of how your current definition of intimacy may be keeping you from getting your relationship needs met?In this episode, you'll learn:- Where does our current definition of intimacy come from- The reasons we need to redefine intimacy- How to redefine intimacy- How to talk about your relationship intimacy needs whether you're single or in a relationshipDon't miss this episode if you want to create a healthier relationship.

How comfortable are you talking about urinary leakage, sexual pain, changes in libido, and how long sex lasts with a friend? How about your doctor? So many women are struggling with sexual health and genitourinary issues and not talking with anyone about it, much less getting help.From social stigma and the media's portrayal of how women's bodies should look, behave, and perform there is outward and inward pressure on how we're supposed to show up in our daily lives and in our relationships.Maybe you've peed a little when you laughed or sneezed, or you've had a partner say something negative about you or your body that made you feel less than or embarrassed.From our discomfort and embarrassment to our lack of awareness and knowledge, our sexual self-esteem takes a beating when it comes to how we see ourselves. But this changes today! I'm chatting with Dr. Rena Malik, urologist and expert in Female Pelvic Medicine & Reconstructive Surgery (FPMRS)/Urogynecology.In today's episode, you'll learn:- How did Dr. Malik decide to specialize in this area- Myths about female sexual health- What is urinary incontinence & what do we need to know- Why do we experience changes in libido- How long does sex actually last- How to talk to our doctors about or symptoms & concerns- And much, much moreDon't miss this episode and learn what you need to know to feel more comfortable in your body.

What if your world turned upside down in the blink of an eye and everything changed? How would you feel? How would you deal with changes that affected every area of your life?Giving ourselves grace and compassion is tough, especially when life hands up one stressful event after another. In today's episode, I'm chatting with Jayne Mattingly and we're taking on grace, compassion, chronic illness, disability, and expectations of self, our bodies, and relationships.Jayne Mattingly is an eating disorder recovery coach, disability advocate, and body acceptance influencer. She is the CEO of Recovery Love and Care, a global virtual eating disorder recovery coaching practice and training program. Through Recovery Love and Care University, the educational branch of her business, Jayne trains aspiring recovery coaches to care for patients holistically, ethically, and through a Health At Every Size lens. Jayne has fully recovered from her eating disorder and holds a Master's Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, specializing in eating disorder recovery and body image struggles.Jayne is newly disabled and chronically ill and has used that experience to inspire her latest project, The AND Initiative. The AND Initiative is a fund to provide resources to people with disabilities so they can live their fullest life.Don't miss this episode about Jayne's motivating and inspirational journey.