POPULARITY
Hosted by gerry crete
Hosted by gerry crete
Hosted by gerry crete
11 episodes with gerry crete
4 episodes with gerry crete
2 episodes with gerry crete
2 episodes with gerry crete
2 episodes with gerry crete
2 episodes with gerry crete
You can think of St. Augustine's heart as an “open book” titled “Confessions.” In this episode, we go deep into his restless heart, sharing with you how well his clear, detailed, and nuanced descriptions of his inner experience reflect Internal Family Systems and parts work so well. As St. Augustine describes his “divided heart” and “conflicting wills” and the stages of his conversion, Dr. Gerry Crete, Dr. Chrisian Amalu, and Dr. Peter Malinoski show how this translates into IFS terms. And Dr. Christian provides an Augustinian experiential exercise. Join us to see how St. Augustine wisdom connects with and informs Catholic parts work. If you are a Catholic who wants to jumpstart getting to know and love your own parts, check out the Resilient Catholics Community at https://members.soulsandhearts.com/rcc
Some Resources to help you heal.Dr Gerry Crete's Book: Litanies of the Heart - Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing our Parts.https://www.booktopia.com.au/litanies-of-the-heart-gerry-crete/book/9798889110606.html?srsltid=AfmBOooS_1KZToVdc__r2XPAS1glCF_1PlPcl5L2nHWk0ErFq9lOSenhLitanies of the Heart by Gerry Crete | 9798889110606 - BooktopiaDr. Gerry Crete takes you on a journey to encounter all the parts of your inner world and allow them to be seen, heard, known, and loved. As you get to know these parts, you'll discover your inmost self, your spiritual center, and learn how to love yourself in a healthy and enriching way.www.booktopia.com.auRestore the Glory Podcast - a podcast - Dr. Bob Schuchts & Jake Khym, MA are Catholic therapists with over 50 years combined experience teaching and accompanying people into fuller life and freedom.Specifically Episodes on Father/Mother Wounds: https://www.restoretheglorypodcast.com/episodes/23?rq=father%20woundEpisode 23: Family Wounds | Part 1 (Fathers) — Restore the GloryDr. Bob and Jake discuss the power of a father's love and his capacity to wound. Fathers plant deep seeds in their children's hearts with what they said or didn't say and what they did or didn't do. The restoration of wounds from our fathers is life-changing.www.restoretheglorypodcast.comBook on Attachment Theory: Attached by Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Hellerhttps://www.booktopia.com.au/attached-amir-levine/book/9781529032178.html?source=pla&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21618365681&gbraid=0AAAAA-Ia9hOU0ii-q8srnudAdcBWpLn7u&gclid=CjwKCAjwruXBBhArEiwACBRtHYXNxgoHbzFp0G9Wf9k8wuqZt4LGBrezuw0-w7c51CA_hurTxVnA2RoCscIQAvD_BwEThe Immanuel Approachhttps://www.immanuelapproach.com/about-us/https://www.immanuelapproach.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/IAIntroductionSuperShort.pdf
What can the Early Church Fathers teach us about our inner worlds, the complexity of our psyches? Actually, very much, if we are willing to listen. Join Dr. Gerry Crete, Dr. Christian Amalu and me for a highlight tour of what these Early Church Fathers offer us in understanding and loving ourselves, God, and others: St. Ignatius of Antioch, St. Irenaeus, St. Cyril of Alexandria, St. Gregory of Nyssa, and St. John of Damascus. We particularly focused in on St. Evagrius discussing the “Christ-self” and the “legion of other selves” within each person. We explore how the Early Church Fathers bring in allegory, metaphor, symbol, and typology to capture more readily the richness, variety, complexity, and beauty of the inner life than we moderns generally do. Dr. Gerry closes with a brief prayer reflection. For the full video experience with visuals, graphics, and for discussion in the comments section, check us out on our YouTube channel here: www.youtube.com/@InteriorIntegration4Catholics
Internal Family Systems is extremely popular not only as a therapy model, but as a way of making sense of our inner experience. IFS does not have specifically Catholic origins. But can there be a way of understanding parts work and systems thinking and harmonizing them with an authentically Catholic understanding of the human person? Dr. Christian Amalu, Dr. Peter Martin, Dr. Gerry Crete, and Dr. Peter Malinoski explore that question in these next episodes, starting with Sacred Scripture. What evidence can be found in the Bible to support the major tenets of IFS? How might IFS be understood through a Catholic lens? Join us for a tour of Scripture to answer these questions, with an experiential exercise as well.
Fearfully and wonderfully made – that is what you are. And made not just as a single, homogeneous personality – but as a system. But what is a system? How can we understand ourselves not just as a monolithic personality, not just as a unity, and not just as a multiplicity, but in terms of our inner relationships with ourselves? Join Dr. Gerry Crete, Bridget Adams, and Dr. Peter as we explore how each of us has a “kingdom within” – and how understanding that kingdom, understanding our multiplicity of our system allows us to better love God, our neighbor, and ourselves, the three loves in the two great commandments, firmly grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person. For the full video experience with visuals, graphics, and for discussion in the comments section, check us out on our YouTube channel here: www.youtube.com/@InteriorIntegration4Catholics
Growing up, Dr. Gerry experienced deep turmoil at home. His father was abusive, and his parents' marriage was full of conflict. When they eventually divorced, he felt like he lost both parents. Feeling alone, he became highly independent. Thankfully, he found healing, and today he helps others heal as a therapist. In this episode, we discuss:How Internal Family Systems (IFS) and “parts work” can help you heal emotional wounds and improve your relationships.The way our parts interact with our significant other—and how to avoid choosing a spouse from a wounded part of you.What a mother wound is and how it affects youHow movies like Inside Out, Encanto, and even Avengers' movies illustrate “parts work” and the healing journey.If you have perhaps sustained a mother wound or want to heal using Internal Family Systems, this episode is for you.Get Dakota's FREE Guide: The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to AvoidBuy Dr. Gerry's Book: Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our PartsView Dr. Gerry's Team or schedule a FREE 15 min consultVisit Souls & HeartsView Restored's ResourcesShownotes
Dr. Gerry Crete helps us unravel the confusion within us, why we have such deep internal conflicts and tensions that pull us in different directions and tear at our hearts. St. Paul tells us in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” What's up with that? Parts. Parts are up with that, that's what -- or who. And in this episode, Dr. Gerry and Bridget Adams shed so much light on our internal experience in our fallen human condition. Join us to learn about how parts, despite their good intentions and desires to help us, can generate impulses toward addictions and other problematic and even sinful behaviors. Learn how critical it is for parts to be integrated, to collaborate cooperatively with your inmost self, and most importantly, how parts can join in your loving God and neighbor with your whole heart in Dr. Gerry's experiential exercise. For the full video experience with visuals, graphics, and discussion in the comments section, check us out on our YouTube channel here: www.youtube.com/@InteriorIntegration4Catholics
Who are you, deep inside, at the core of your being? Who lives in the inmost chamber of your personhood? Join us on an adventure to discover your core identity. Catholic experts Dr. Gerry Crete and Dr. Peter Martin find the convergences and synergies in Scripture, the early Church Fathers, the Eastern and Western Catholic monastic traditions, Doctors of the Church, the medieval Catholic theologians, the writings of contemplative saints, and the magisterial teachings of the Church -- supplemented by attachment theory, Internal Family Systems and other parts and systems approaches in the modern era – all in the service of answering the question – “Who is my inmost self?” What do the words inmost self, heart, soul, “nous,” and the “eyes of the soul” mean from a Catholic perspective? We bring together the best of the old and new, the spiritual and the secular, to help you know who you are at your core, all grounded in an authentically Catholic understanding of your human person. With an experiential exercise from Dr. Gerry, too. For the full experience with visuals, slides, B-roll, conversation and discussion in the comments section and so much more, check us out on our YouTube channel here: www.youtube.com/@InteriorIntegration4Catholics
In this episode, we complete our Marian consecration with Fr. Boniface Hicks' book, The Fruit of Her Womb and discuss our consecration day and final thoughts. Highlights: Litanies: How the final prayers of the consecration are incredible and how we can't stop thinking about them. The Specifics of this Consecration: Reflecting on our personal consecration and how this prayer is different than other Marian consecrations. Embracing Littleness: Finding freedom and peace in humility. Where God Finds Us: The beauty of being small so God can meet us where we are. Dr. Gerry Crete's Podcast Enjoying the show? Leave a review! Share your thoughts - Send a voice memo in to the show CONNECT WITH FLORENCIA: Follow on Instagram Website CONNECT WITH JANE:Follow on InstagramWebsite
In this special live-recorded episode from Australia, Dr. Greg and his guests explore the rich intersection of faith and mental health. Joined by spiritual director Katherine Stone, MGL, and CatholicPsych's International Programs Director, Shawn van der Linden, the discussion weaves together personal stories, cultural insights, and thoughtful audience questions. Tune in to hear what Americans and Australians can learn from each other and gain a fresh perspective on faith's role in mental health. Discussed in this episode: Dr. Greg Bottaro's eye-opening experiences on his whirlwind three-week tour across Australia; Surprising cultural differences between the U.S. and Australia when it comes to mental health and faith; What Australians can teach us about staying anchored in faith in a secular society; Personal stories of accompanying others through journeys of anxiety, doubt, and growth; Katherine's unique insights on the overlap of faith and mental health in spiritual direction; Mental distress issues that Katherine sees come up often in spiritual direction; Different ways scrupulosity manifests itself in the lives of dedicated Catholics; Why the spiritual dimension of the person needs to be front and center for any Catholic utilizing mental health services; Being created in God's image means our core orientation is towards goodness and growth, despite any suffering or mental health challenges; Relationships “clear the path” for us to rediscover our goodness and move toward wholeness; Relationships in accompaniment provide individuals with a genuine sense of being deeply loved; The ultimate goal of the healing relationship is to guide us toward a deeper, more profound relationship with God; Why a deep understanding of Catholic anthropology matters in therapy; Those providing accompaniment—whether in therapy, mentorship, or spiritual direction—need support, too; The importance of having a support system and avoiding burnout by staying anchored; The “one foot on shore, one foot in the water” approach: balancing immersion in others' experiences with personal grounding; Utilizing "parts work" to explore the various aspects of a person's identity, including the parts that hold anxiety or fear; Acknowledging and welcoming these anxious parts is essential, rather than fighting against them; Love and acceptance of each part of oneself facilitate a path toward greater wholeness and peace; Why faith and psychology aren't in opposition—and how they powerfully work together. Resources mentioned or relevant: Podcast with Katherine Stone MGL: Contemplating Culture: A Missionary Walk through A Secular Age; Learn more about Raphael Network, the Australian network of Catholic mental health care professionals; Learn more about parts work: Episode 160: Healing through Parts Work Episode 179: Superheroes Within Book recommendation for parts work: Litanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry Crete; Need help? Schedule a free consultation to discuss your next best step; Feeling called to help others? Learn more about our Certification program (CPMAP): CatholicPsych Model of Applied Personalism; Sign up for Being Human, our weekly newsletter, to stay up to date on the exciting developments at CatholicPsych; Visit our website to read the CatholicPsych blog, shop in the CatholicPsych bookshop, or discover other resources we have available; Download The Integrated App for access to free audio exercises, courses, prayer resources, and more; Become a member of the Integrated Life Community to get access to every course Dr. Greg has created, plus the opportunity to participate in Integrated LIVE's - weekly, Mentor hosted Q&As covering topics like boundaries, communication, trauma, forgiveness, and more! Follow: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CatholicPsych Instagram: @catholicpsych X: @CatholicPsych Contact us! Have a topic or a question you would like Dr. Greg to address on the podcast? Want to give some feedback about this episode? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com - we would love to hear from you! Rate, review, and subscribe Please help us in our mission to integrate the Faith with Psychology by hitting subscribe and also sharing this podcast with your friends. Please consider rating or leaving a review of our show. It helps us reach other Catholics just like you who want to become more integrated, whole, and happy human beings. For Apple podcasts, click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate 5 stars, and choose “write a review.” Then type your sincere thoughts about the show! If you haven't already, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on any episodes. Subscribe to the podcast now!
This week we're joined by special guest Dr. Gerry Crete. Dr. Gerry and Mother Natalia talk about some of their favorite Star Trek episodes and how they relate to parts work.References:The Inmost Self with Dr. Gerry CreteLitanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry CreteDr. Gerry's Review of Inside OutDr. Gerry's Review of Inside Out 2Follow and Contact Us!Follow us on Instagram and FacebookWe're on YouTube!Join our Goodreads GroupFr. Michael's TwitterChrist the Bridegroom MonasteryOur WebsiteOur NonprofitSend us a textSupport the show
Join Dr. Jared Staudt, the Director of Content at Exodus 90 and guest host Dr. Gerry Crete to discuss the integration of personal formation in Exodus. Join in to learn how asceticism is part of human formation, and how both are oriented toward love. Dr. Staudt and Dr. Gerry discuss the difficulties that secularism and individualism cause in our culture and within ourselves, especially for men. What do vulnerability and authenticity look like for men? And finally, how can I be different, how can I change and grow? The Exodus website is at https://exodus90.com/
Joey Pontarelli joins guest host Dr. Gerry Crete to share the impact of his parents' divorce on him as a child, the ways that divorce rocked his world, and his journey of recovery. And that journey of recovery includes his founding of Restored, a ministry for teens and young adults whose parents' marriages failed, giving them a place to share their stories, help for them to find healthy responses to an unhealthy family situation, to seek “integration, rather than amputation” of their internal experiences and to correct the lies beneath their fear, anger, and shame.
This week we're joined by special guest Dr. Gerry Crete. We talk about some of the concepts from his book, Litanies of the Heart. We talk about the studies and prayer he's had over the years which led throughout his work. We talk about the inner self, the different parts that make up ourselves, and how the parts can interact with each other and our inner self.References:Litanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry CreteFollow and Contact Us!Follow us on Instagram and FacebookWe're on YouTube!Join our Goodreads GroupFr. Michael's TwitterChrist the Bridegroom MonasteryOur WebsiteOur NonprofitSend us a Text Message.Support the Show.
In this episode, Dr. Gerry Crete explores parts theory through the fascinating lens of Marvel superheroes, The Lord of the Rings, Scripture, and the saints. A master at leading people into their interior life, Dr. Gerry leads an experiential activity to connect the dots between parts work and inner peace. Discussed in this episode: What parts theory is (parts work, IFS, Internal Family Systems, Ego State Therapy) How parts theory helps deepen our spiritual life Within each human person, there is a multiplicity Marvel's “Avengers” movie as a portrayal of integration We relate to the characters in the “Avengers” movie because in them we see something of ourselves Parts work through the lens of The Lord of the Rings and the characters of Middle-earth A guided experiential activity to make parts work practical and personal What blending is and how unblending with parts gives access to our deep spiritual center Insights of parts work from the writings of the saints and from Scripture The sad reality that most people loathe themselves and how that limits love for others The goal in therapeutic work is to experience inner harmony (when our parts are unburdened and integrated) Resources mentioned or relevant: Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety Through Healing our Parts by Dr. Gerry Crete Learn more about our Certification program: CatholicPsych Model of Applied Personalism CatholicPsych's annual Summit of Integration Need help? Schedule a free consultation with someone on our team to discuss how we can support you; Sign up for Being Human, our weekly newsletter, to stay up to date on the exciting developments at CatholicPsych; Visit our website to read the CatholicPsych blog, shop in the CatholicPsych bookshop, or discover other resources we have available; Download The Integrated App for access to free audio exercises, courses, prayer resources, and more; Become a member of the Integrated Life Community to get access to every course Dr. Greg has created, plus the opportunity to participate in Integrated LIVE's - weekly, Mentor hosted Q&As covering topics like boundaries, communication, trauma, forgiveness, and more! Follow us on Instagram: @catholicpsych Contact us! Have a topic or a question you would like Dr. Greg to address on the podcast? Want to give some feedback about this episode? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com - we would love to hear from you! Rate, review, and subscribe Please help us in our mission to integrate the Faith with Psychology by hitting subscribe and also sharing this podcast with your friends. Please consider rating or leaving a review of our show. It helps us reach other Catholics just like you who want to become more integrated, whole, and happy human beings. For Apple podcasts, click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate 5 stars, and choose “write a review.” Then type your sincere thoughts about the show! If you haven't already, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on any episodes. Subscribe to the podcast now!
Welcome to Episode 176 of the Being Human Podcast: Human Suffering and Healing: A Roundtable Discussion with Dr. Paul Vitz, Dr. Gerry Crete and Mother Natalia In this episode, Dr. Greg had a great conversation with Dr. Paul Vitz, his professor from the Institute for Psychological Sciences, Mother Natalia from Christ the Bridegroom Monastery, and Dr. Gerry Crete, the author of Litanies of the Heart. Their discussion highlighted the deep interconnection between psychological and spiritual healing. They also critiqued contemporary psychology and cultural trends, challenging the dangers of individualism while promoting the importance of community and connection. By drawing parallels with Jesus' suffering on the cross, they reflected on the significance of relationships and compassion in navigating life's complexities. Discussed in the episode: A discussion on the significance of integrating psychology and faith to purify and strengthen one's understanding of human suffering Reflections on how suffering can serve as a common denominator that connects us all - how it brings us together, and how it provides us a path to deeper understanding of the human person Recognizing the beauty of how wounded healers are capable of sharing a unique perspective from their own experiences of suffering and healing, and how through this, they are able to provide genuine support and guidance to others Understanding the impact and dangers of today's cultural emphasis on autonomy, and how this often leads people to isolation and anxiety An exploration on how today's culture teaches us to avoid the discomfort of “suffering with” others, resorting to quick fixes when it comes to healing and transformation Insights on how one's personal relationship with God and relationship with others is essential in the healing process, and how it is through this can one experience true freedom, healing and transformation Resources mentioned or relevant: You're invited to CatholicPsych's first-ever live event to celebrate the beauty and power of integration! Sign up for the Summit of Integration here Learn more about our Certification program (CatholicPsych Model of Applied Personalism)! Dr. Gerry Crete's Book, “Litanies of the Heart Dr. Paul Vitz's Book, “Psychology as Religion: The Cult of Self-Worship” Mother Natalia's Podcast at “Pints With Aquinas” Therapy of Spiritual Illnesses by Jean-Claude Larchet Episode #174: Healing or Harm? (discussion of Abigail Shrier's book Bad Therapy) Need help? Schedule a free consultation call with someone on our team to discuss how we can support you; Sign up for Being Human, our weekly newsletter, for encouragement on your journey of becoming the best human you can be; Visit our website to read the CatholicPsych blog, shop in the CatholicPsych bookshop, or discover other resources we have available; Download The Integrated App for access to free audio exercises, the Catholic Mindfulness Virtual Retreat, courses, prayer resources, and more; Become a member of the Integrated Life Community to get access to every course Dr. Greg has created, plus the opportunity to participate in Integrated LIVE's - weekly, Mentor hosted Q&As covering topics like boundaries, communication, trauma, forgiveness, and more! Follow us on Instagram: @catholicpsych. Contact us! Have a topic or a question you would like Dr. Greg to address on the podcast? Want to give some feedback about this episode? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com - we would love to hear from you! Rate, review, and subscribe Please help us in our mission to integrate the Faith with Psychology by hitting subscribe and also sharing this podcast with your friends. Please consider rating or leaving a review of our show. It helps us reach other Catholics just like you who want to become more integrated, whole, and happy human beings. For Apple podcasts, click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate 5 stars, and choose “write a review.” Then type your sincere thoughts about the show! If you haven't already, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on any episodes. Subscribe to the podcast now!
In this week's episode, we reflect on leading with our God-given authority rather than worldly influence. We discuss the importance of remembering our identity in Christ and how true authority is a display of intimacy that has been rooted in a real tangible love. We share the ways we may have been wounded by authority figures in our past, why these wounds can distort our perception of authority, and how to heal from these wounds so that we can lead others into the light of Christ. Heather's One Thing - Chicken Khao Soi (Thai Coconut Curry Noodle Soup) from My Kitchen Little Sister Miriam's On Thing - The book Litanies of the Heart by Dr Gerry Crete Michelle's One Thing - Beatify: Lullabies with the Saints (an album of Catholic lullabies) from Beatify with Josh Blakesley and Kelly Lombardi Other Resources Mentioned: The Restore the Glory Podcast series on Parts Work (Parts Work (Part 1) w/ Gerry Crete; Parts Work (Part 2) w/ Brya Hanan; Parts Work (Part 3) w/ Bishop Andrew Miller) Journal Questions: How have I abdicated my God-given authority? When do I perceive surrender to be a form of defeat? How has authority been misused in my life? How is God inviting me to stay with Him in faithfulness and obedience? Where do I need to be both honoring and honest? Discussion Questions: How often do you think God is holding out on you? How do I lose sight of God-given authority by seeking out worldly influence? What accountability do I need to choose surrendered, God-given authority over worldly influence? When have you felt safe under God's authority? How do you need to grow and mature to better lead and serve others? Quote to Ponder: “The fourth commandment opens the second table of the Decalogue. It shows us the order of charity. God has willed that, after him, we should honor our parents to whom we owe life and who have handed on to us the knowledge of God. We are obliged to honor and respect all those whom God, for our good, has vested with his authority.” (CCC 2197) Scripture for Lectio: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” (Deuteronomy 4:9) Sponsor - WalletWin: A big thank you to our sponsor WalletWin, Catholic financial formation for the whole family and creators of The Catholic Money Academy. Most of us were never taught how to manage our money
4/1/24 - We'll be discussing relieving post-traumatic stress and calming anxiety with a special guest, Dr. Gerry Ken Crete, author of Litanies of the Heart. We're looking to bring you greater healing and wholeness all within the big picture of our Catholic faith. For more resources, check out Becky's website at safehavensmama.com Dr. Crete's Book: https://www.amazon.com/Litanies-Heart-Gerry-Ken-Crete/dp/B0CGH3PC7Z
Dr. Gerry Crete, therapist and author, joins the show to discuss his new book Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts. Dr. Crete starts off by addressing the core distinction of our human nature and how we can heal to become a whole and healthy person. Episode highlights: 1. Jesus has TWO natures, divine and human. 2. Understanding the parts you want to reject. 3. Don't just resist, you need to heal! ______________________ Discover Bear Woznick Deep Adventure Ministries: http://bit.ly/BearWoznick NEWEST BOOK "12 Rules for Manliness | Where Have All the Cowboys Gone" on Amazon or Bear's Online Store https://my-site-100622-104377.square.... DONATE TO THE CAUSE: https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_...
#catholic #mentalhealth #therapy #lotr #books #church Discord link https://discord.gg/hWXVBVcW Sheen Rosaries link https://www.sheenrosaries.com/?ref=plotlines Where to find Dr. Gerry Crete Litanies of the Heart Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts https://sophiainstitute.com/product/litanies-of-the-heart/
The media consistently claims that we are in a mental health epidemic but fail to provide a healing remedy for it rather than just a temporary bandage.Dr. Gerry Crete is tired of their empty promises and so has crafted a medicine for healing out as of January 1st—Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety Through Healing Our Parts. You will benefit from Crete's "parts work" therapeutic approach to find inner harmony, greater life fulfillment, and a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. Through this specialized technique, you will experience growth, transformation, and ultimately, restoration. Gerry Ken Crete, PhD, is a marriage and family therapist and professional counselor specializing in the treatment of trauma and addictions, as well as marriage counseling and treatment of clergy and religious. CONNECT WITH DR. GERRY CRETE: Order Litanies of the Heart Transfiguration Counseling: Video counseling, coaching, and spiritual care consulting Souls and Hearts: Online platform providing mental health education to Catholics through courses, podcasts, blogs, and online communities. CONNECT WITH FLORENCIA: Apply for Made Good by 3/10 and get $250 off! Give it a listen, share it on the gram, and let me know if you enjoyed it by leaving a review! Have any burning questions left unanswered? DM me on Instagram! Website --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/madegood/message
This week, Jake and Bob are joined by Gerry Crete, a marriage and family counselor to discuss his work on internal family systems, or parts work. Parts work is a therapeutic approach that involves exploring and understanding the different “parts” of our personality and how they can influence the decisions we make in life. Jake, Bob, and Gerry explore the transformative applications of parts work in therapy, distinguish the differences between desires and wounds, and discuss the role of love and compassion in the healing journey. For more information check out Gerry's book Litanies of the Heart. Key Points: Parts work, or internal family systems, can lead to remarkable breakthroughs in therapy by helping individuals connect with and understand their different parts. Harmony and unity within oneself can be achieved through the integration of different parts, allowing for a more balanced and authentic experience of self. Understanding the distinction between desires and parts can help individuals navigate conflicting motivations and make choices that align with their true selves. Practical applications of parts work include using analogies and visualization techniques to help individuals relate to and understand their parts. It is important to recognize and distinguish parts from the true self, which is characterized by compassion and love. Resources: Gerry's new book Litanies of the Heart Gerry's practice Transfiguration Counseling Connect with Restore the Glory: Instagram: @restoretheglorypodcast Twitter: @RestoreGloryPod Facebook: Restore the Glory Podcast Never miss out on an episode by hitting the subscribe button right now! Help other people find the show and grow in holiness by sharing this podcast with them individually or on your social media. Thanks!
Dr. Gerry Crete, founder of Transfiguration Counseling and Coaching, joins Federalist Culture Editor Emily Jashinsky to discuss a Christian approach to treating trauma. You can find Crete's book "Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts" here. If you care about combatting the corrupt media that continue to inflict devastating damage on our country, please give a gift to help The Federalist do the real journalism America needs.
Dr. Gerry Crete, founder of Transfiguration Counseling and Coaching, joins Federalist Culture Editor Emily Jashinsky to discuss a Christian approach to treating trauma. You can find Crete’s book “Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts” here. If you care about combatting the corrupt media that continue to inflict […]
Guest Gerry Crete, family and marriage therapist and author "Litanies of the Heart", joins to discuss bringing awareness to the mental health crisis. What's causing stress, anxiety, and depression? How do we begin the process of healing personal trauma. Tucker Carlson blows up the internet with President Putin. Why are we not allowed to understand the other side of the conflict? Are Democrats funding "neo-nazis" in Ukraine?
Show Sponsors: https://strive21.com/matt https://ascensionpress.com/fradd Get Gerry's Book: https://sophiainstitute.com/product/litanies-of-the-heart/
We're live with Peter Finney, Editor and General Manager of the Clarion Herald, the official Catholic newspaper of the Archdiocese of New Orleans with issue update, Dr. Gerry Crete, marriage and family therapist and professional counselor talks about managing post-traumatic stress and anxiety with his new book Litanies of the Heart and Dr. Jordan Haddad, Professor of Dogmatic Theology at Notre Dame Seminary and the President of the St. Louis IX Art Society with Catholic 101 segment talks about hell, is it real?
Dr. Gerry Crete is the author of the book "Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety Through Healing Our Parts." In this conversation with Fr. Edward Looney, Dr. Gerry explains the different movements of the heart and how one can with, through, and about different experiences we have underwent. An enlightening conversation about psychology and faith. Buy the Book: https://sophiainstitute.com/product/litanies-of-the-heart/
How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs.Dr. Gerry Crete is a marriage and family therapist and professional counselor who specializes in the treatment of trauma, addictions, and anxiety disorders. He is a former president of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association, founder of Transfiguration Counseling, and co-founder of Souls and Hearts. Dr. Gerry has long been passionate about integrating principles of the Christian faith with effective mental health treatment. Buy Gerry's new book (this is a paid link):Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety Through Healing Our Parts
Dr. Gerry Crete joins us to discuss his all-new book, "Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts." GUEST LINKSLitanies of the Heart [Book] Dr. Crete's Website Free Litanies Download EPISODE SHOW NOTES & LINKS
Episode #150 of the Gotta Be Saints PodcastOn this episode, I spoke with Dr. Gerry Crete about his new book and how it can help the listener recover from stress and anxiety. During our conversation, we covered:- His background as a licensed marriage and family therapist- An overview of his book, "Litanies of the Heart"- The effects of "original trauma"- The different parts of who we are- And much more...Biography:Gerry Ken Crete, PhD, is a marriage and family therapist and professional counselor specializing in the treatment of trauma and addictions, as well as marriage counseling and treatment of clergy and religious. He is an IFS-informed, Ego State Therapy trained, EMDR Consultant. Dr. Crete is the founder of Transfiguration Counseling and Coaching (www.transfigurationcounseling.com) which provides video counseling, coaching, and spiritual care consulting, and has offices in downtown Cumming, GA , Epiphany of our Lord Byzantine Catholic Church in Roswell, GA, Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Atlanta, GA, and St. Michael's Catholic Church in Gastonia, North Carolina. He is also the co-founder of Souls and Hearts (www.soulsandhearts.com) which is an online platform providing mental health education to Catholics through courses, podcasts, blogs, and online communities. Dr. Crete hosted his own podcast, Be with the Word, and has been a recurring guest on Matt Fradd's podcast Pints with Aquinas. Dr. Crete has facilitated numerous retreats and workshops for various Catholic dioceses, and he has provided consultation for the Jesuit Conference of Canada and United States, and the Order of Cistercians of the Strict Observance (Trappists). He is a regular writer for Exodus 90, and has provided mental health meditations for the Hallow app. Dr. Crete has been married over 30 years and has three grown children. He was born in Ottawa, Canada, earned his doctorate from the University of Georgia, and currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia. Dr. Crete has been married for over 30 years, and he has three grown children. Buy his book here.Our Sponsors:This is a Good Catholic Podcast. If you're interested in purchasing a Good Catholic digital series, use code GBS for 20% off your total order.Looking for the perfect Catholic gift? Check out The Catholic Company and find it today! Use code BRENDAN20 for 20% off your next purchase! Support the show
My guest, Dr. Gerry Crete shares with us the inside story of his brand-new book, Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts. This book grounds IFS and parts in a Catholic understanding of the human person, showing how parts work is both Biblical and harmonizable with our Catholic faith. Because the intellectual experience doesn't fully encapsulate the human experience, Dr. Gerry uses stories and vignettes in a way that connects with everyone, not just therapists. He invites all the outcast parts into relationships, making them feel safe enough to connect on a deep level with others and God.Dr. Gerry also provides a glimpse of the writing and publishing process, the challenges and struggles he faced, as well as his moments of inspiration. We discuss a few favorite pages from the book, such as Dr. Gerry's diagram of the soul and body overlapping in the heart, where all the parts are.
We're live with Dr. Gerry Crete, marriage and family therapist and professional counselor talks about managing post-traumatic stress and anxiety with his new book Litanies of the Heart, Dr. Tom Neal, Chief of Evangelization and Mission Engagement of the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee talks about the Baptism of the Lord and Dr. Jordan Haddad, Professor of Dogmatic Theology at Notre Dame Seminary and the President of the St. Louis IX Art Society with Catholic 101 segment where we will discuss our conscience. What if it contradicts our faith?
Welcome to Episode 160 of the Being Human Podcast: Healing Through Parts Work and Litanies of the Heart, w/ Dr. Gerry Crete In this week's episode, Dr. Greg welcomes Dr. Gerry Crete to the show for a deep dive discussion into Dr. Gerry's new book, Litanies of the Heart! Listen in as they unpack how “parts work” can help in overcoming anxiety and trauma as well as aid in finding greater life fulfillment and a more intimate relationship with God. Discussed in the episode: Parts work as a transformative therapeutic approach that dives deep into the integration of psychology and spirituality; How Litanies of the Heart offers a comprehensive guide for those seeking healing and self-discovery through the lens of Catholic spirituality; The importance of understanding the body-soul connection in the journey of healing and using body-based therapies in alignment with the holistic nature of our faith; How Litanies of the Heart incorporates aspects of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR to address wounds and foster secure attachment with Christ; The call to be “missionaries of integration” - bringing together the truths of psychology and the Catholic faith – in order to lead people to healing, holiness, and an experience of real integration. Resources mentioned or relevant: Litanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry Crete (Sophia Institute Press Website) Transfiguration Counseling Souls and Heart Litanies The Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast Episodes About IFS (or “Parts Work”) and Catholic Mindfulness: Ep. #34: A New Theory! with a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Parts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Ep. #49: Internal Family Systems and External Family Tensions Ep. #98: Are You Gaslighting Yourself? Ep. #134: Catholic Mindfulness: Why It's Not Only Okay But Encouraged for Catholics to Practice Need help? Schedule a free consultation call with someone on our team to discuss how we can support you; Learn more about our CPMAP Certification! Sign up for Being Human, our weekly newsletter, for encouragement on your journey of becoming the best human you can be; Visit our website to read the CatholicPsych blog, shop in the CatholicPsych bookshop, or discover other resources we have available; Download The Integrated App for access to free audio exercises, the Catholic Mindfulness Virtual Retreat, courses, prayer resources, and more; Become a member of the Integrated Life Community to get access to every course Dr. Greg has created, plus the opportunity to participate in Integrated LIVE's - weekly, Mentor hosted Q&As covering topics like boundaries, communication, trauma, forgiveness, and more! Follow us on Instagram: @catholicpsych. Contact us! Have a topic or a question you would like Dr. Greg to address on the podcast? Want to give some feedback about this episode? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com - we would love to hear from you! Rate, review, and subscribe Please help us in our mission to integrate Faith with Psychology by hitting subscribe and also sharing this podcast with your friends. Please consider rating or leaving a review of our show. It helps us reach other Catholics just like you who want to become more integrated, whole, and happy human beings. For Apple podcasts, click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate 5 stars, and choose “write a review.” Then type your sincere thoughts about the show! If you haven't already, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on any episodes. Subscribe to the podcast now!
Dr. Gerry Crete joins us to discuss dealing with trauma, along with his book Litanies of the Heart
In this episode, my guest, licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Gerry Crete and I discuss how best to engage with borderline dynamics within your family. People with “borderline personalities” have surprisingly intense internal experiences that are rarely handled well by the people around them. Dr. Gerry suggests avoiding both expressing too much frustration and invalidation. Instead, he recommends trying to view situations from their perspective and looking for the kernel of truth in their reactions. Acceptance of borderline emotions and perspectives can create the opening a person needs to engage more collaboratively. Learn how to avoid one little dangerous word and use another, much better little word in conversation with those with borderline traits. Dr. Gerry also responds to these questions (among others) from our live audience: 1) How do you deal with blazing rage and other extreme emotions? 2) How do you navigate narcissism and borderline within a marriage and the battle between the integrity needs of both? 3) How do you learn to love people with borderline tendencies? 4) Where is the balance between sacrificial love and self-care? 5) Will people with borderline ever be capable of developing an awareness of other people's feelings and perspectives? 6) What is the healing and forgiveness process between a mother with borderline and her daughter? 7) How do you deal with the guilt, shame, and anxiety caused by borderline? 8) How do you stop the cycle of borderline tendencies from being passed from parent to child?
This weekend Dr. Gerry Crete joins the show. Dr. Gerry is the author of the new book Litanies of the Heart - Relieving Post Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts. https://sophiainstitute.com/product/litanies-of-the-heart/ Sophia Institute Press
Dr. Gerry Crete is a marriage & family therapist and professional counselor specializing in the treatment of trauma and addictions. He is the founder of Transfiguration Counseling and Coaching (www.TransfigurationCounseling.com) Today, joins Morning Light to moderate our Catholic Book Club segment to share his upcoming book “Litanies of the Heart” being released through Sophia Institute Press on January 16, 2024. https://sophiainstitute.com/product/litanies-of-the-heart
In this episode, I invited licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Gerry Crete and a live audience to discuss the best ways to relate with family members with narcissistic traits while still preserving one's own limits and dignity. Dr. Gerry addressed the following: 1) Why is it important to prepare yourself for relating with someone with dominant narcissistic parts? 2) How can we recognize our own limitations and the fact that we cannot change another person by our own efforts? 3) How can we understand the positive intentions of others' narcissistic parts? 4) What should you do if you are flooded and agitated by a family member with narcissistic tendencies? 5) How should you communicate your limits and boundaries with such family members? 6) How can you distinguish between standing up and advocating for yourself an just being "oversensitive" or prideful? 7) Are idealizing and devaluing the primary signs of narcissism or is there a deeper key feature? 8) How does narcissism often play out in a family when an aged parent dies? 9) When is it necessary to temporarily disconnect or separate from the family because of narcissism in other members? 10) How do we maintain "radical acceptance" of others and still hold boundaries and protect ourselves? 11) What kind of IFS groups are available online? 12) How does a lack of empathy present differently in narcissism vs. autism?
Dr. Gerry Crete, Marion Moreland and Dr. Peter Malinoski discuss the relationship among parts and how your manager parts make up what is perceived to be your personality. Dr. Peter offers a 25-minute experiential exercise to help you connect with your manager parts, the ones who make up your "personality." Then we debrief, describe our experiences of the exercise and answer questions from our live audience.
Justin Aquila unpacks the connection between your faith life and how that can and should play out with your mental health, counseling needs, etc.Episode Resources:The Catechism of the Catholic Church on perfect & imperfect contrition (Paragraphs 1450-1454): https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P4D.HTM Books on Mental Health Mentioned in the Podcast:The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves by Curt Thompson The Soul of Desire: Discovering the Neuroscience of Longing, Beauty, and Community by Curt ThompsonThe Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der KolkDopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna LembkeInterviews/Podcasts with Catholic Mental Health Practitioners:Restore the Glory with Dr. Bob Schuchts:https://www.restoretheglorypodcast.com/Dr. Matthew Breuninger on Pints with Aquinas: https://youtu.be/nuWskgaaR7Uhttps://www.youtube.com/live/WljLNVqJ8oA?feature=shareDr. Gerry Crete on Pints with Aquinas:https://www.youtube.com/live/ejH7o6McsvE?feature=shareBreaking Free from Pornography with Fr. Sean Kilcawley:https://www.youtube.com/live/u3rFtXSHWg8?feature=shareThe Healing Christ wants for you with Sister Miriam James Heidland:https://www.youtube.com/live/MHdKh2I8eUw?feature=shareAdditional Resources:Find a Catholic Therapist:https://www.catholictherapists.com/find-a-catholic-therapistCatholic Charities (Northeast Indiana):https://www.ccfwsb.org/counselingBelt of Truth is a podcast brought to you by Armor of God, a Catholic men's movement based in Fort Wayne, Indiana, established to arm men to be the spiritual leaders God has called them to be. Belt of Truth features discussions with a variety of guests to explore different topics crucial for men to hear and reflect on their journey to becoming spiritual leaders. Learn more about Armor of God and Belt of Truth at armingmen.com.
Thomas sits down with Dr. Gerry Crete, experienced therapist and founder of soulsandhearts.com, to discuss trauma, its effects, and how we can work to overcome it to know God better. Dr. Crete shares his insights from years of working with individuals of all ages who have struggled through trauma. Listen all the way to the end of this episode to hear one of Dr. Crete's Litanies of the Heart prayers. For more of his Litanies of the Heart prayers, visit here.For more about Dr. Gerry Crete and his work, please visit https://transfigurationcounseling.com/team/dr-gerry-crete
Thomas sits down with Dr. Gerry Crete, experienced therapist and founder of soulsandhearts.com, to discuss trauma, its effects, and how we can work to overcome it to know God better. Dr. Crete shares his insights from years of working with individuals of all ages who have struggled through trauma. Listen all the way to the end of this episode to hear one of Dr. Crete's Litanies of the Heart prayers. For more of his Litanies of the Heart prayers, visit here.For more about Dr. Gerry Crete and his work, please visit https://transfigurationcounseling.com/team/dr-gerry-crete
Support us on Locals, get a TON in return: https://mattfradd.locals.com/support Hallow: https://hallow.com/mattfradd I'll talk with psychotherapist Dr. Gerry Crete about how we can heal after 50 years of the abortion holocaust. Souls and Hearts!: https://www.soulsandhearts.com/ Littanies (Read/Pray along): https://www.soulsandhearts.com/lit Healing after Abortion: https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/ Post-Abortion Healing for Men: https://www.usccb.org/committees/pro-life-activities/hollow-men-male-grief-trauma-following-abortion
Meet my next guest on The Nourished Soul Podcast, Dr. Gerry Crete, @soulsandhearts1. Dr. Gerry is the Founder and Clinical Director of Transfiguration Counseling. He is an EMDR trained trauma therapist and works with individuals, couples, groups & families. Dr. Gerry is the co-founder of Souls and Hearts, an online mental health education resource (www.soulsandhearts.com), and a past president of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association. Gerry and I have a great conversation about attachment & harmony with all our parts.
We discuss the brand new release of Souls and Hearts' Litanies of the Heart. These prayers were composed to be very attuned to the needs of closed hearts, fearful hearts, and wounded hearts, bringing in the best of psychological science around how we trust, how we connect and how we form bonds with others in our humanness -- all to help us better develop a deep, personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Join us as we discuss the origin of the Litanies, their development, and recommendations for praying them in a way that suits your particular needs.
Summary: Join us as we review how philosophers and modern secular psychologists understand mental health and well-being. In this episode, we look at the attempts to define what make us happy, from the 4th century BC to the present day. Arristipus, Aristotle, Descartes, Freud, Seligman, Porges, Schwartz, and two diagnostic systems. We take a special look at how positive psychology and Internal Family Systems see well-being. Lead in In June of 1991 I was really traumatized Just left a spiritually and psychologically abusive group and I was struggling How could this have happened I thought I was giving my life to God -- and then I find out the community I was in was like this -- Had to confront my own behaviors in the community -- manipulation, deception, betrayals of trust -- things like that. I knew I had to recover. And so I went on a quest I was still Catholic, I never lost my faith, but I felt really burned by the Catholic Church I wanted to learn everything I could about social influence, about group dynamics, about psychological manipulation -- in part so what happened before would never happen again, and also to tap into wisdom that I didn't have access to in my very sheltered community. In short, I was on a quest to find out the best of what secular psychology had to offer. I would have gone to a Catholic Graduate What I was looking for What I found Introduction Question may arise, "Why Dr. Peter, since you are a Catholic psychologist, why are you even looking at these secular sources? Why even bother with them? Don't we have everything we need in Scripture, in the traditions of the Church, in the writings of the Church Fathers and the saints, and in magisterial teaching? I thought this was a Catholic podcast here. Let me ask you question in return then -- Let's say you're experiencing serious physical symptoms -- something is wrong medically. You have intense abdominal pain, right around your navel, your belly is starting to swell, you have a low-grade fever, you've lost your appetite and you're nauseous and you have diarrhea. How would you react if I were to say to you: "Why are you considering consulting secular medical experts? What need have you of doctors and a hospital? Don't you have everything you need in Scripture, in the traditions of the Church, in the writings of the Church Fathers and the saints, and in magisterial teaching? If I responded to you like that, you might think I'm a crackpot or that I believe in faith healing alone or that I just don't get what you are experiencing. Those are the symptoms of an appendicitis, and that infected appendix could burst 48-72 hours after your first symptoms. If that happens, bacteria spread infection throughout your abdomen, and that is potentially life-threatening. You would need surgery to remove the appendix and clean out your abdomen. Remember that we are embodied beings -- we are composites of a soul and a body. The 17th Century Philosopher Rene Descartes' gave us a lot of great things, including analytic geometry, but he was wrong splitting the body from the mind in his dualism. Descartes' mind-body dualism, the idea that the body and the mind operate in separate spheres, and neither can be assimilated into the other which has been so influential in our modern era. In the last several years we are realizing just how much of our mental life and our psychological well-being is linked in various ways to our neurobiology -- the ways that our nervous systems function. And the relationship between our embodied brain and our minds is reciprocal -- each affects the other in complex ways that we are just beginning to understand. In other words, brain chemistry affects our emotional states. And our emotional states and our behaviors affect brain chemistry. It's not just our minds and it's not just our bodies and it's not just our souls -- it's all of those, all of what makes me who I am, body, mind, soul, spirit, all of it. And since Scripture, the Early Church Fathers, the Catechism and so on are silent on neurobiology, neurochemistry, neurophysiology and so many other areas that impact our minds and our well-being, as a Catholic psychologist I am going to look elsewhere, I'm going to look into secular sources. I just don't think it's reasonable to expect the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops or the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in the Vatican to be experts in these areas -- it's not their calling. I just don't think anyone is going to find an effective treatment for bulimia by consulting the writings of the Early Church Fathers or in St. Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologica. That is unreasonable . And it's just as unreasonable, in my opinion, to ignore the body and just try to work with the mind. I also believe that God works through non-Catholics in many ways -- many non-Catholic researchers and clinicians and theorists are using the light of natural reason to discover important realities that help us understanding well-being, and they are inspired to seek what can be known with good motivations, with good hearts and sharp minds to help and love others. I am a Catholic with upper-case C, a big C and I am catholic with a lower-case C -- a little C. Catholic with a little C. According to my Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus, Third Edition, which I rely on for wordfinding, according to this thesaurus, the synonyms for Catholic with a small c include the following terms: universal, diverse, broad-based, eclectic, comprehensive, all-encompassing, all-embracing and all-inclusive. That's what catholic with a small c means. So I am Catholic with a big C and catholic with a small c. And a final point about why I look to secular sources -- The Church herself encourages us to look to all branches of knowledge and glean what is best from them. From the CCC, paragraph 159 "Though faith is above reason, there can never be any real discrepancy between faith and reason. Since the same God who reveals mysteries and infuses faith has bestowed the light of reason on the human mind, God cannot deny himself, nor can truth ever contradict truth." "Consequently, methodical research in all branches of knowledge, provided it is carried out in a truly scientific manner and does not override moral laws, can never conflict with the faith, because the things of the world and the things of faith derive from the same God. The humble and persevering investigator of the secrets of nature is being led, as it were, by the hand of God in spite of himself, for it is God, the conserver of all things, who made them what they are." And from the Vatican II document, the Pastoral Constitution of the Church in the Modern World, paragraph 62 reads: In pastoral care, sufficient use must be made not only of theological principles, but also of the findings of the secular sciences, especially of psychology and sociology, so that the faithful may be brought to a more adequate and mature life of faith. Finally, I will say that considering the whole person -- Soul, spirit, mind and body -- all of the person is so much more helpful in the process of recovery that just splitting off the mind and working with it alone, or just trying to work with the mind and the soul but not the body. So there are pragmatic considerations, practical aspects to this. I like to practice psychology in ways that actually work. The fruit that comes from considering the body and working with the body as well the mind and soul is just so much better. And so we want to work in an integrative way. That what this podcast Interior Integration for Catholics is all about -- this is episode 90 released on March 7. 2022, titled Your Well-Being: The Secular Experts Speak and I am I am clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski, your host and companion today, and also president and Co-Founder of Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com -- our mission in Souls and Hearts is to bring the best of psychology and human formation grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person to help wounded Catholics rise above our psychological issues and human formation problems which hold us back from embracing love from Jesus, the Holy Spirit, God our Father and Mary our Mother and loving them back with our whole souls and hearts, with all our parts. Secular Sources The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5 -- DSM-5 for short. From the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the DSM-5 The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook used by health care professionals in the United States and much of the world as the authoritative guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders. DSM contains descriptions, symptoms, and other criteria for diagnosing mental disorders. It provides a common language for clinicians to communicate about their patients and establishes consistent and reliable diagnoses that can be used in the research of mental disorders. It also provides a common language for researchers to study the criteria for potential future revisions and to aid in the development of medications and other interventions. So you would think, given that glowing description of its prowess and authority that it would tell us what psychological well-being is, it would let us know what mental health is. But if you thought that, you'd be wrong. Nowhere in the nearly 1000 pages of this tome is there are definition. You can't find it. No definition of mental health or psychological wellbeing. You get a definition of mental disorder and a couple of descriptions of what is not a mental disorder. This is a quote from page 20. Definition of a mental disorder: A mental disorder is a syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress in social, occupational, or other important activities. An expectable or culturally approved response to a common stressor or loss, such as the death of a loved one, is not a mental disorder. Socially deviant behavior (e.g., political, religious, or sexual) and conflicts that are primarily between the individual and society are not mental disorders unless the deviance or conflict results from a dysfunction in the individual, as described above. But no definition of what optimal functioning, or happiness or well-being or psychological health would look like. That's a real problem. How are we supposed to know what psychological disorder is when we don't know what psychological health should entail? Canadian Blogger, author and Christian pastor Tim Challies published a blog titled "Counterfeit Detection" in which he describes how Canadian federal agents are trained to detect counterfeit bills -- they first get very familiar with the real money. Real bills. Those Canadian follow what John MacArthur wrote in his book Reckless Faith. "Federal agents don't learn to spot counterfeit money by studying the counterfeits. They study genuine bills until they master the look of the real thing. Then when they see the bogus money they recognize it." Only then are they equipped to spot the forgeries. So we need a standard, we need to know what well-being looks like so we can use it as a reference point for contrasting anything which is out of order in our psyches. We're not going to get that reference point from the DSM-5, so let's turn to history. Let's go back in time to the philosophers of ancient Greece who wrote about well-being and start there. Let's see if we can find out from our secular sources what the good life is. What psychological well-being is, what mental health is. Hedonic wellbeing -- basically this is about feeling good: Aristippus, a Greek philosopher in the fourth century BC argued that the primary and ultimate goal in life should be to maximize pleasure. English philosophers Thomas Hobbes 17th century and Jeremy Bentham in the 18th century, crossing into the 19th century also embraced Hedonic well being. Definition: Hedonic wellbeing "focuses on happiness and defines well-being in terms of pleasure attainment and pain avoidance” Ryan and Deci, 2001 On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology How much pleasure can I get? How much pain can I avoid -- Hedonic wellbeing. Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy The term “hedonism,” from the Greek word ἡδονή (hēdonē) for pleasure, refers to several related theories about what is good for us, how we should behave, and what motivates us to behave in the way that we do. All hedonistic theories identify pleasure and pain as the only important elements of whatever phenomena they are designed to describe. Back to Ryan and Deci “the predominant view among hedonic psychologists is that well-being consists of subjective happiness and concerns the experience of pleasure versus displeasure broadly construed to include all judgments about the good/bad elements of life. Happiness is thus not reducible to physical hedonism, for it can be derived from attainment of goals or valued outcomes in varied realms Ryan and Deci, 2001 On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology Summary statement: Hedonic well-being -- maximize the pleasure, minimize the pain. And that makes sense to us -- we all have some innate attraction to pleasure and some innate avoidance of pain. Eudaimonic wellbeing "producing happiness," 1856, from Greek eudaimonikos "conducive to happiness," from eudaimonia "happiness," from eu "good" (see eu-) + daimōn "guardian, genius" (see daimon). In contrast to hedonic wellbeing's focus on pleasure, we have eudaimonic well-being, which focuses on meaning and purpose in life. Trace this back to Aristotle also in the 4th Century BC, contemporary of Aristippus. Aristotle argued, especially in his Nichomachean Ethics -- Aristotle argued that the best things are the ones who perform their function to the highest degree. My son John Malinoski used this example in his senior thesis for Wyoming Catholic college. His thesis was titled Into the Jung-le: Exploring How Modern Psychological Methodology Relates to and Transforms the Classical Understanding of Man's Psyche and it has this passage which precisely describes how Aristotle saw well-being, using an illustrative example of a squirrel and then describing what well-being is for us as human persons: Aristotle begins his quest for the happy man with one of these endoxa: the generally held, plausible truth that the best things are the ones who perform their function to the highest degree. It seems self-evident that we would judge the worth of a squirrel based on how fast that squirrel can run, how high it can leap, or how much food it can find. In other words, the best squirrel is the one that best fulfills its squirrel nature. Correspondingly, the best man must be the man who excels at being a man; he performs the functions of man to the highest degree. While man has many functions which he shares in common with plants and animals--life, growth, sensation, and so on--he has one particular ability which is unique to him: the ability to reason. Since this higher faculty distinguishes and elevates man above the lesser beings below him, Aristotle claims that it must be the most important aspect of his soul, the characteristic function of man: “We posit the work of a human being as a certain life, and this is an activity of soul and actions accompanied by reason.”6 Since “each thing is brought to completion well in accord with the work proper to it,” it follows that “the human good becomes an activity of the soul in accord with virtue, and if there are several virtues, then in accord with the best and most complete one.”7 This is Aristotle's brief summation of the human good, or happiness. In short, the truly virtuous man has ordered his soul to the fullest extent: not only are all his actions ordered towards reason and the good, but all his inclinations point him toward these properly ordered actions as well. Gale and colleagues 2009 article in the Journal of Personality The eudaimonic perspective of wellbeing – based on Aristotle's view that true happiness comes from doing what is worth doing – focuses on meaning and self-realization, and defines wellbeing largely in terms of ways of thought and behavior that provide fulfillment. Freud Let's fast forward 2400 years now to Freud. From the 4th century BC to the 20th Century AD. To Freud A lot of people believe that Freud was really a hedonist -- in part because of his pleasure principle. In Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personality, the pleasure principle is that driving impulse of the id -- the id is the most basic, primitive part of the personality driven by instincts, mostly buried deep in the unconscious. The pleasure principle describes how the id seeks immediate gratification of all its needs, wants, and urges, seeking with force to satiate hunger, quench thirst, discharge anger, and experience sexual pleasure. "To Love and to Work" -- summarizing in one pithy statement what a healthy man or woman should be able to do well. “Love and work…work and love, that's all there is…love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” -- Civilization and its Discontents Play: Freud believed and taught that play was important -- play is a creative activity, play is an adaptive activity, and play is also a therapeutic activity because play generates pleasure through the release of tension. Summarize Freud's position on happiness -- the ability to Love, work and play. Freud in his 1895 book "Studies on Hysteria" coauthored with Josef Breuer. But you will see for yourself that much has been gained if we succeed in turning your hysterical misery into common unhappiness. With a mental life that has been restored to health, you will be better armed against that unhappiness.” Freud did not promise that his psychoanalytic method would remove "common unhappiness." He taught that psychoanalysis had its limits. Which leads us to fast forward 100 years to the late 1990's and the advent of Positive Psychology, which is not satisfied by just accepting common unhappiness. Positive psychology posits that we can do something about that common unhappiness and make it better -- so it is more ambitious in its goals and promises than Freud ever was. Positive Psychology: Definitions: Peterson 2008 “Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living” positive psychology is a scientific approach to studying human thoughts, feelings, and behavior, with a focus on strengths instead of weaknesses, building the good in life instead of repairing the bad, and taking the lives of average people up to “great” instead of focusing solely on moving those who are struggling up to “normal” the scientific study of positive human functioning and flourishing -- flourishing really is the focus of positive psychology, it's a critical word. And there's a focus on flourishing in three primary domains. Flourishing intrapersonally -- which means within one's own person, within one's own being -- intrapersonally (e.g. biologically, emotionally, cognitively) Flourishing interpersonally (e.g. relationally), in our personal relationships And flourishing collectively (e.g. institutionally, culturally and globally) -- in our culture and society -- flourishing collectively So flourishing is the key word, and the focus is on flourishing intrapersonally, interpersonally, and collectively So what makes the good life according to positive psychologists, according to Martin Seligman? Seligman in his 2002 book Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment details four different forms of what he calls "the good life." Four different forms or ways of living well, four kinds of well-being. These are the 1) the pleasant life; 2) a good life; 3) a meaningful life; and 4) a full life. Repeat them. We'll go through each one of these starting with the pleasant life. The pleasant life: according to Martin Seligman, the pleasant life is a simple life, he says "a life that successfully pursues the positive emotions about the present, past and future" He elaborates, "The pleasant life is wrapped up in the successful pursuit of the positive feelings, supplemented by the skills of amplifying those emotions." This takes us back to the hedonic wellbeing we discussed earlier, as originally posited by Aristippus, our Greek philosopher in the fourth century BC. All about the pursuit of good feelings, maximizing positive emotions. The good life: The good life, according to positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman means "using your signature strengths to obtain abundant gratification in the main realms of one's life" So in this good life, you are able to use your particular talents and unique skills, your special strengths, being true to your own character, being true to your values and virtues, so this sense of "authenticity" is very important in the good life. So we have the pleasant life, all about positive emotions; and now the good life, in which you have abundant gratification by you doing you, by you being authentic through using your signature qualities in in the world. The good life is not a permanent state -- we are not always going to be able to use our special talents and qualities in a way that is gratifying to us -- rather, the good life has to be a process of ongoing growth, a process of development. It's all about continuing to grow. Then we have the meaningful life, that's the third form, the meaningful life. Seligman describes this as "using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are" In this way of living well, you have a strong bond to "something larger than yourself." In this way of well-being, it's up to each individual what that "something larger than yourself" is going to be. So at this point we've covered three of the four kinds of well-being: we have the pleasant life, all about maximizing your pleasant emotions, we have the good life, which is all about using your signature strength and virtues to be gratified, and we have the third form, the meaningful life, in which we use our signature strengths and virtues in the service of something larger than us. This level of well-being brings us back to Aristotle and his eudaimonic well-being, which focuses on pursuing meaning and purpose in life. That leaves us with the fourth way, the full life. Seligman describes the full life as follows: «Finally, a full life consists in experiencing positive emotions about the past and future, savoring positive feelings from pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from your signature strengths, and using these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning» So what is added to the first three ways of well-being in this last way, the fourth way, the full life is the concept of service. Here's where he starts to sound a little like Bob Dylan's 1979 song "Gotta Serve Somebody." In the full life, a man uses his strengths and abilities in the most optimized way to serve something larger than himself." In the full life, a woman gets outside herself and brings her talents and virtues to serve a greater good in a way that shines. The full life reflects optimal human functioning. Seligman thus is very Aristotleian in how he argues that a person has the best experience of life, the greatest sense of well-being when that person is functioning optimally, bringing all the particular talents, skills, strengths and virtues to bear in the services of the greater good. Effort to refocus psychology on wholeness and wellness -- not on illness or disorder or weaknesses or problems Focus on positive aspects A to Z list from Chapter 2 of the book Well-Being, Recovery, and Mental Health by Lindsay Oades and Lara Mossman: altruism, accomplishment, appreciation of beauty and excellence, authenticity, best possible selves, character strengths, coaching, compassion, courage, coping, creativity, curiosity, emotional intelligence, empathy, flow, forgiveness, goal setting, gratitude, grit, happiness, hope, humor, kindness, leadership, love, meaning, meditation, mindfulness, motivation, optimism, performance, perseverance, positive emotions, positive relationships, post-traumatic growth, psychological capital, purpose, resilience, savoring, self-efficacy, self-regulation, spirituality, the good life, virtues, wisdom and zest. Origin of Positive Psychology is often attributed to Abraham Maslow's 1954 book "Motivation and Personality." Really took off in the late 1990's when positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman became president of the American Psychological Society and was able to effectively popularize positive psychology Increase human strength -- make people more "productive" Nurturing of genius and fostering greater human potential Calling for research on human strength and virtue. How do human being flourish at the individual level, the community level, and at the societal level? Emphasis on Different interventions that have been found to improve levels of happiness and well-being. Best possible self -- writing about yourself at your best, remembering yourself at your best Working on forgiveness -- I find this really interesting that forgiveness -- Robert Enright has done a lot of research in this area, with a focus on letting go of anger, resentment and bitterness toward those who have caused me pain. Getting a more balanced view of the offender Reducing negative feelings toward the offender and possibly increasing compassion Relinquishing the right to punish the offender or demand restitution. Increasing gratitude -- finding things to be thankful for, reflecting on blessings, expressing gratitude in a variety of ways -- Gratitude is the expression of appreciate for what I have. Research shows many positive psychological benefits to deliberately practicing gratitude Fostering optimism -- the tendency to anticipate favorable outcomes. Things are going to work out. The glass is half full. The idea is that optimism can be learned. It can be practiced and developed and when it is, people feel better. Cultivating Mindfulness the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment“ (Kabat-Zinn, Reference Kabat-Zinn2003, p. 2) Listening to uplifting music Positive Psychotherapy Savoring (savoring can be past-focused (reminiscing about positive experiences), present-focused (savoring the moment) or future-focused (anticipating positive experiences yet to come) (Smith et al., 2014) Self-compassionate writing -- being gentle with yourself in your journal PDM 2 -- Now completely revised (over 90% new), this is the authoritative diagnostic manual grounded in psychodynamic clinical models and theories. Explicitly oriented toward case formulation and treatment planning, PDM-2 offers practitioners an empirically based, clinically useful alternative or supplement to DSM and ICD categorical diagnoses. A clinically useful classification of mental disorders must begin with a concept of healthy psychology. Mental health is more than simply the absence of symptoms. Just as healthy cardiac functioning cannot be defined as an absence of chest pain, healthy mental functioning is more than the absence of observable symptoms of psychopathology. p.3 Three major axes: Personality Organization, Mental Functioning, and Symptom Patterns Personality Organization P Axis What level of personality organization does the person have? 4 major categories -- psychotic, borderline, neurotic, and healthy. What style personality or pattern does one have -- e.g. depressive, hypomanic, masochistic, dependent, anxious-avoidant (aka phobic), obsessive-compulsive, schizoid, somatizing, hysteric/histrionic, narcissistic, paranoid, psychopathic, sadistic, and borderline. You've got one of these styles. Mental Functioning -- overall description of mental functioning -- the capacities involved in psychological health or pathology -- looking at the inner mental life of the person Symptom Patterns -- S axis -- looks at emotional states, cognitive processes, bodily experiences, and relational patterns -- looks at the person's personal experience of his or her difficulties Psychodiagnostic Chart-2 by Robert Gordon and Robert Bornstein -- downloadable Use Breaking it down Personality Organization P Axis -- What level of personality organization does the person have. 4 major categories -- psychotic, borderline, neurotic, and healthy. What style personality or pattern does one have -- e.g. depressive, hypomanic, masochistic, dependent, anxious-avoidant (aka phobic), obsessive-compulsive, schizoid, somatizing, hysteric/histrionic, narcissistic, paranoid, psychopathic, sadistic, and borderline. You've got one of these styles. To be able to understand oneself in complex, stable, and accurate ways To maintain intimate, stable, and satisfying relationships To use more healthy defenses and copings strategies -- anticipation, self-assertion, sublimation, suppression, altruism and humor To appreciate, if not necessarily conform to, conventional notions of what is realistic Life problems rarely get out of hand There is enough flexibility to accommodate to challenging realities Mental Functioning M axis Cognitive processes capacity to regulate thinking, attention, learning Capacity to communicate one's thoughts to others Emotional processes to be able to experience a full range of emotions To regulate emotions well To understand one's own emotions To be able to communicate one's emotions Identity -- deals with the question, who am I? Capacity for differentiation -- a solid sense of being psychological separate from others -- not fused, or enmeshed or co-dependent Regulation of self-esteem Awareness of internal experience Relationships Capacity for relationships Capacity for intimacy Defenses and coping Impulse control -- regulation of impulses Defensive functioning -- able to use effective coping strategies e.g. extreme denial vs. humor Adaptation -- this is a state, reflecting how an individual deals with specific stressors going on in life right now Resilience -- this is a trait -- general ability Check out episodes 20, 21, 22, and 23 of this podcast for a four part series on resilience American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress— such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means "bouncing back" from difficult experiences.” So resilience is a trait. Strength Self-awareness Self-observing capacities -- psychological mindfulness Self-direction Capacity to construct and use internal standards and ideal A sense of meaning and purpose in life Symptom patterns -- S Axis the severity of psychological symptoms Polyvagal theory -- we spent the last episode, episode 89 titled "Your Body, Your Trauma: Protection vs. Connection discussing Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory. Deb Dana: Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection The ventral vagal system truly powers the journey to well-being Now remember, the ventral vagal system corresponds to the ventral branch of the vagal nerve-- and the ventral vagal system serves the social engagement system -- remember -- that's the relational connection system. The ventral vagal nerve dampens the body's regularly active state. The ventral vagal nerve allows activation of the autonomic nervous system in a nuanced way, thus offering a different quality than sympathetic activation -- that's how you can being excited and celebrate your favorite sports team score again against their rivals without becoming overwhelmed by a fight or flight response. What is it like to be in a ventral vagal state? It's a positive state -- it's not just the absence of being in sympathetic hyperarousal when you are in fight or flight. It's also not just the absence of being in a dorsal vagal hypoarousal shutdown or freeze state. It's more than just those two systems being downregulated. It's the ventral vagal system being activated. It's an active state with these properties Physical responses Reduced heart rate Steady breathing Relaxed digestion Rest and recuperation Vitality Circulation to extremities Stress reduction Psychological responses A sense of calm A sense of safety Feeling grounded Joy Mindfulness An ability to be very much in the present moment Relational responses Desire for connection with others. A genuine interest in others Openness and receptivity in relationship Acceptance and embracing of vulnerability Empathy and compassion for others Oxytocin is released that stimulates social bonding Ability to related and to connect with others without anxiety This state changes the way we look and sound to others -- the tone and rhythm of your voice is more inviting Story -- I'm in a good place, I can be loved and love, I can connect with others, there is good in the world. Live is so worth living, and I want to share joy and peace and even sorrow and challenges with other people. So polyvagal theory is going to focus specifically on the regulation of your nervous system in assessing your well-being. The more you can be in a ventral vagal state, whether you are resting or excited, the better. So for those therapists who use polyvagal theory, there is a focus on resetting the autonomic nervous system, helping us in a bodily way to get back to a ventral vagal state. And we contrast that to the sympathetic fight or flight response and the dorsal vagal shutdown response. Danger activates the sympathetic system, we are all about survival now Physical responses Body is mobilized for action. Ready to run / Efforts to escape Hypervigilance -- body goes on high alert, pupils dilating, letting more light Very high levels of energy in this state, adrenaline rush Muscles get tense Blood pressure rises Heart rate accelerates Adrenaline releases Extra oxygen is circulated to vital organs Digestion decreases Immune response is suppressed Psychological responses Emotional Overwhelm usually worry moving to anxiety to fear to panic Or frustration to irritation to anger to rage confrontational, aggressive Scanning for threats Capacity for complex, flexible reasoning is very much reduced -- leads to confusion No sense of safety, you start missing signs of safety and misreading signs of safety Relational responses Sense of separation, isolation from others-- cut off from others, no sense of relational connection anymore -- the connection is sacrificed in order to seek greater protection Disconnection from self, others, world, disconnected spiritually.-- you can't see others, really, except through the lens of danger and safety If we don't feel safe, there's no way we can provide a sense of safety to others. Story: The world is unsafe and people are dangerous, unfriendly, scary, falling apart When the mobilization doesn't bring a resolution to the distress -- then the ANS takes the final step, and shoots the last arrow it has in its quiver. This is the freeze response. When there is a deep sense that my life is threatened and the sympathetic activation doesn't resolve the perceived threat, then the dorsal vagal system kicks in. That's the freeze response, that's the collapse into "dorsal vagal lifelessness" Physical response Heart rate decreases, slows way down Blood pressure drops Body temperature decreases Muscle tone relaxes Breathing becomes shallow Immune response drops Pain threshold increases -- greater pain tolerance because of endorphin release that numbs pain. Immobilization response -- appearing physically dead Digestion and metabolism slows way down -- going into conservation mode, like hibernating until the life threat passes. Psychological response Sense of helplessness Depression, despondency, lethargy Numbing out Disconnection Thinking become very foggy, fuzzy, unclear Dissociation, Spacing out, feeling disconnect from the present, untethered, floating, derealization Feeling trapped Preparing for death Feeling hopeless Shutting down and feeling psychologically inert, paralyzed Feeling a deep sense of shame Relational response Very isolated Can't listen to others, don't notice them very well, because of how shut down and self-absorbed you are in this state Can't share very well, difficulty with words Very little agency Can't focus Story: A story of despair. I am unlovable, invisible, lost, alone, in desperate straits, about to die. So polyvagal theory is going to focus specifically on the regulation of your nervous system in assessing your well-being. According to polyvagal theory if we are in sympathetic arousal, the fight or flight mode, we are focused on the perceived dangers around us and we focus on self-protection. This leads us to sacrifice connection with others. If we are in the dorsal vagal shutdown, the freeze response, we hiding from the prospect of imminent death, shutting down into a conservation mode, hoping to survive the perceived imminent lethal danger by becoming immobile. So for those therapists informed by polyvagal theory, there is a focus on resetting the autonomic nervous system, helping us in a bodily way to get back to a ventral vagal state, to leave the dorsal vagal shutdown state, to leave the sympathetic fight-or-flight state and get back to a peaceful bodily state. These therapists start with the body, not so much the mind. Internal Family Systems or IFS-- developed by Richard Schwartz, described in the first edition of Internal Family System Therapy which was published in 1995 IFS brings systems thinking inside -- it conceptualized the human person as a living system. Richard Schwartz is a family therapist who was trained in family systems work. He recognized that the inner life of a person mirrored family life, from a systems perspective. But before we go much further, let's ask the question -- What is a system: Definition from Ben Lutkevich at techtarget.com Systems thinking is a holistic approach to analysis that focuses on the way that a system's constituent parts interrelate and how systems work over time and within the context of larger systems. The systems thinking approach contrasts with traditional analysis, which studies systems by breaking them down into their separate elements. Wellbeing according to IFS is when inner system of the person shows certain qualities Balance -- the degree of influence that each member has in the system on decisions making is appropriate and that the boundaries are balanced and appropriate within the system. Harmony -- an effort is made to find the role each member desires and and for which he is best suited. Members of the system work together, cooperatively. The harmony of the system allows each member to find and pursue his own vision while fitting that member's vision into the broader vision of the system as a whole. There is cooperation and collaboration among the members of the system. Leadership --One or more members of the system must have the ability and respect to do the following: Mediate polarizations Facilitate the flow of information withing the system Ensure that all members of the system are protected and cared for and that they feel valued and encouraged to pursue their individual vision within the limits of the system's needs Allocate resources, responsibilities, and influence fairly Provide a broad perspective and vision for the system as a whole Represent the system in interaction with other systems And interpret feedback from other systems honestly Development -- the members of the system and the system itself can grow -- developing the skills and relationships needed to carry out the vision of the system. IFS model of the person Person is composed of a body, plus his parts, plus his self -- that's the internal system of a person -- body, parts, and self This will be a review for many of you who listen to the podcast Self: The core of the person, the center of the person. This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader, with a deep sense of recollection on the natural level. You can also experience being in self as an expansive state of mind We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship. When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's -- this is the ideal state Calm -agitation, frustration, anxious, stressed, angry Curiosity -- indifferent, disinterested, seeing other parts and seeing other people in two dimensions, one dimension, or no dimensions -- Episode 72 -Y- nuanced vs. reductionistic understandings of ourselves and others. Compassion -- cold, uncaring, unfriendly, hard, reserved, unsympathetic Confidence -- timid, pessimistic, doubtful and insecure Courage -- fearful, shy, faint-hearted, irresolute Clarity -- confused, muddled inside, things are obscured, dark inside, foggy, sees vague forms moving in a shadow world. Connectedness -- internal fragmentation, disjointed, distant, aloof Creativity -- uninspired, inept, very conventional, repetitive futility, doing the same thing over and over again, with no different results Parts: Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view. Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality. Robert Falconer calls them insiders. IFS has two states Unblended -- this is when one is in a state of self Unburdened -- this is when our parts are freed from their burndens. Interpersonal Neurobiology -- pioneered by Daniel Siegel Definition -- Interpersonal Neurobiology is not a separate discipline -- it's not something that would have its own academic department within a university, for example. Rather, it is an interdisciplinary framework -- and that means that Interpersonal Neurobiology or IPNB for short, draws from many different disciplines -- many different approaches that have their own individual and unique rigorous approaches to studying phenomena relevant to well-being. I'm very into IPNB -- taking a Master Class with Daniel Siegel right now. We're going to get into Interpersonal Neurobiology and it's views on mental health and well being in Episode 92 of this podcast Closing Weekly emails Special bonus podcast will be coming to you on Friday, March 25, 2022 -- the feast of the Annunciation, with an exciting announcement, this is just an extra podcast about a major effort that we are involved in at Souls and Hearts. Dr. Gerry Crete will be joining me to discuss this with you. So tune in then for all the new happenings at Souls and Hearts Catholic Therapists and Grad Students -- I will be doing a free Zoom webinar at from 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM Eastern time on Saturday March 26, 2022 on Internal Family Systems and loving your neighbor -- it's all about how understanding myself and others from an IFS perspective can help us love each other -- any Catholic therapist or grad student in a mental health field is free to attend. Email Patty Ellenberger, our office manager at admin@soulsandhearts.com for a registration link. Dr. Gerry's Catholic Journeymen Community has relaunched within Souls and Hearts. Men -- you are welcome to join a group of faithful Catholic men seeking restoration, wholeness, and integrity in areas of sexuality and relationship with God, self, and others. Catholic Journeymen is a safe space for men to share burdens, receive support, and be nourished by a distinctive program combining behavioral health science and Catholic spirituality. Check that out at soulsandhearts.com/catholic-journeymen. Conversation Hours You are a listener to this podcast, and in that sense, you are with me. I am also with you! Remember, can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern Time for our regular conversation hours. I've set that time aside for you. 317.567.9594. (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com. Waiting list is open for The Resilient Catholics Community at Soulsandhearts.com/rcc for our June 2022 So much information there and videos. Patron and Patroness
Lead-in Almost no one understands suicide very well. Almost no one. Some of you might say -- but Dr. Peter, I've been really down and out. I've been really suicidal. I've been there. I lived it. Not gonna argue with you about having been suicidal. But having intense feelings, almost irresistible impulses toward suicide, constant suicidal thoughts -- that doesn't mean you understand suicide. Not at all. I don't think most people who have attempted suicide really understand their experience. I don't think most therapists really understand suicide. Why ? Because we're afraid to really enter into what is behind suicide. We don't want to go there. We're terrified of what lurks underneath. We have parts of us that don't want to understand. Lauren Oliver, Delirium “Suicide. A sideways word, a word that people whisper and mutter and cough: a word that must be squeezed out behind cupped palms or murmured behind closed doors. It was only in dreams that I heard the word shouted, screamed." And I'll go further than that. And it's not so much because we're afraid of what we'll find in another person, a friend or relative or colleague. It's because we are terrified that finding the darkness inside of others will wake up our own sleeping giants of darkness. The darkness inside us. The terror inside us. That's why we avoid, why we distract, why we skirt the edges of this topic. Benjamin Franklin knew this: Nine men in ten are would-be suicides -Poor Richard's Almanack. Freud popularized it in 1920 -- book the Pleasure Principle. -- he discussed the death drive: the drive toward death and destruction, often expressed through behaviors such as aggression, repetition compulsion, and self-destructiveness. Death drive or drives went by the name Thanatos -- the Greek god personified death. Caught a lot of flak for it, then and now. Not really widely accepted. I think he was on to something. Something we don't want to think about others -- that they have drives toward self-destruction. It's something that we don't want to admit about ourselves. If we are really honest with ourselves in looking at suicide we would realize, with John Bradford There but for the grace of God go I. We would give up our false presumptions about our own strength and our own natural resiliency. We would realize, with Shakespeare's Lord Chancellor in Henry VIII “We all are men, in our own natures frail, and capable of our flesh; few are angels.” ― Lord Chancellor William Shakespeare, Henry VIII We would understand Mahatma Ghandi when he said: “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.” We would have a lot less judgement about the souls and experience of those who killed themselves. Yes, the action of suicide is wrong, gravely wrong, and we'll discuss that in next week's episode. We're not minimizing the gravity of the act -- I'm talking here about the phenomenological experience of those on the brink of self-destruction and why they are there. And we would understand something about the spiritual dimensions, the dark spiritual powers at work in suicide as well. I could be wrong about this, but I don't think you really have any accurate idea about suicide. Suicide is one of the most misunderstood of human actions. Because we want to avoid the churning darkness, the despair, the hopelessness, the alienation, the trauma within us, we don't want to see it in others. And if someone near is suicidal, we know, we know instinctively that he is tapping into his despair, his hopelessness, his alienation. We know that our suicidal is really in the grip of her trauma and her isolation, and her excruciating pain. And our natural response -- is to flee. To get out of dodge. To protect ourselves. We rationalize it -- I'm not a professional, I'm not a counselor, I don't know what to do with all of this intensity Or we stay in there, we force ourselves to stay in relationship, feeling really inadequate, not wanting to go too deep, not wanting to screw it up -- and in our timidity and fear, we actually aren't very helpful. OK -- I will grant you that you don't really know what to do. And I get it that you're afraid -- maybe terrified. OK. This is a tough issue. Suicide is a tough issue. And tough issues are what we specialize in here. [Cue music] Intro Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics, thank you for being here with me, thank you for making it through the lead in and not fleeing from this episode. I'm glad you and I are in this together. And it's going to be OK. By God's grace, together we can handle, we can work with, we can work through this topic of suicide. We'll do it together. I am clinical psychological Peter Malinoski and you are listening to the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast, where we take on the toughest topics, the ones others don't want to touch, and we go really deep with them. Why? Not out of some kind of idle curiosity. Not out of disorder curiosity, out of some kind of psychological voyeurism. No. We go there in this podcast because we are working on ourselves. On our own human formation, shoring up the natural foundation for our spiritual lives, so that we can enter into loving union with God. That's why. It's about removing the psychological barriers you have to a much deeper intimacy with God the Father, Jesus the Son, the Holy Spirit, and the Blessed Virgin Mary, our Mother. In the last episode we looked at specific cases of suicide in Sacred Scripture. This is episode number 78, released on July 26, 2021, entitled The Desperate Inner Experience of Suicidality. We are going to enter into the phenomenological world of the suicidal person. Why? Why do we do that? Why do that? Two answers. The second answer is for going into all of this depth on suicide is so that you and I can love. So that we can love others who are struggling with this -- and there are so many. Franklin estimated 90%. Nine men in ten are would-be suicides. I think he's right, even though the vast majority of those don't even know there's a struggle going on inside them. I think Benjamin Franklin knew about the latent potential in most people. Freud: Thanatos. The Death Drives. Freud knew. For all his faults and follies, Freud knew something about the depth of pain in people's souls. The pain that lives in the unconscious. Locked away, at least for a time. Unnoticed, at least for a time. The first answer: Is so that we can be known and loved. That we can accept others knowing us, and us knowing ourselves. 1 John 4:19 We love, because he first loved us. He first loved us. We need to let God love us. We need to let our Lady, our Mother love us In our woundedness. In our suffering. In our shame, in our pain, in our fear, in our sadness, however our darkness is for us. Whatever our darkness is. Isaiah 9:2 The people that walked in darkness, have seen a great light: to them that dwelt in the region of the shadow of death, light is risen. Not just about the external world, but also our internal world. The Pain Caveats -- Difficult topic. “The pain of severe depression is quite unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne. The prevention of many suicides will continue to be hindered until there is a general awareness of the nature of this pain.”― William Styron, Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness “Nobody has ever killed themselves over a broken arm. But every day, thousands of people kill themselves because of a broken heart. Why? Because emotional pain hurts much worse than physical pain.” ― Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories “When people are suicidal, their thinking is paralyzed, their options appear spare or nonexistent, their mood is despairing, and hopelessness permeates their entire mental domain. The future cannot be separated from the present, and the present is painful beyond solace. ‘This is my last experiment,' wrote a young chemist in his suicide note. ‘If there is any eternal torment worse than mine I'll have to be shown.” ― Kay Redfield Jamison, Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide ““Suicidal pain includes the feeling that one has lost all capacity to effect emotional change. The agony is excruciating and looks as if it will never end. There is the feeling of having been beaten down for a very long time. There are feelings of agitation, emptiness, and incoherence. 'Snap out of it and get on with your life,' sounds like a demand to high jump ten feet.” ― David L. Conroy, Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain Suicide is best understood not so much as a movement toward death as it is a movement away from something and that something is always the same: intolerable emotion, unendurable pain, or unacceptable anguish. Maurizio Pompili & Roberto Tatarelli Parts and Suicide So helpful to think of suicide in terms of parts. A phenomenon that a number of people have noted while in deep depression is the sense of being accompanied by a second self — a wraithlike observer who, not sharing the dementia of his double, is able to watch with dispassionate curiosity as his companion struggles against the oncoming disaster, or decides to embrace it. There is a theatrical quality about all this, and during the next several days, as I went about stolidly preparing for extinction, I couldn't shake off a sense of melodrama — a melodrama in which I, the victim-to-be of self-murder, was both the solitary actor and lone member of the audience.” ― William Styron, Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness Definition of Parts: Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view. Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality. Robert Falconer calls them insiders. Each part has Personality style Needs -- Episode 62 Attachment needs Integrity needs Emotions Body sensation. Belief. Thought Intentions Desires Attitudes Impulses. Interpersonal style World view Often have burdens Ways of coping Review of Parts Exiles -- most sensitive -- these exiles have been exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships They have suffered relational traumas or attachment injuries They hold the painful experiences that have been isolated from conscious awareness to protect the person from being overwhelmed with the intensity. They desperately want to be seen and known, to be safe and secure, to be comforted and soothed, to be cared for and loved They want rescue, redemption, healing And in the intensity of their needs and emotions, they threaten to take over and destabilize the person's whole being, the person's whole system -- they want to take over the raft to be seen and heard, to be known, to be understood. But they can flood us with the intensity of their experience And that threatens to harm external relationships Burdens they carry: Shame, dependency, worthlessness, Fear/Terror, Grief/Loss, Loneliness, Neediness, Pain, lack of meaning or purpose, a sense of being unloved and unlovable, inadequate, abandoned Exiles' Role in Suicide Furnishing the intolerable pain. Exiles bring the intensity. The fuel Description of the pain of suicide -- Quotes Perhaps everything terrifying is deep down a helpless thing that needs our help,” Rainer Maria Rilke wrote to a friend and protégé, encouraging him to make peace with his inner demons. “Actually, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy.”― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted 1993 memoir of being in a mental hospital for 18 months in the late 1960s. Managers These are the proactive protector parts. They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt. They work really hard to keep you safe. "Never again" attitude toward the exiles. Very much about reducing risk of overwhelm. controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging, Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding. Firefighters When exiles break through and threaten to take over the system, this is terrifying. The consequences of exile taking over could be disastrous. So when these exiles are about the break out, the firefighters leap into action. It's an emergency situation, a crisis, like a fire raging in a house. Firefighters are focused on rescuing us from a terrible situation. No concern for niceties, for propriety, for etiquette, for little details like that. Firefighter take bold, drastic actions to stifle, numb or distract from the intensity of the exile's experiences. They break down the door and spray water over everything, trying to calm the raging flames. No concern for consequences -- don't you get it, we are in a crisis, All kinds of addictions -- alcohol use, binge eating, shopping, sleeping, dieting, excessive working or exercise, suicidal actions, self-harm, violence, dissociation, distractions, obsessions, compulsions, escapes into fantasy, and raging. Parts can take over the person Firefighters' role in Suicide Serious suicidal impulses can be driven by firefighters: Just make the pain of the exiles stop. Suicidal firefighters are filled with hopelessness -- they don't know of another way to protect you. They have been beaten down, sometimes literally, always figuratively. Desperation of firefighters If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. “In my view, suicide is not really a wish for life to end.' What is it then?'It is the only way a powerless person can find to make everybody else look away from his shame. The wish is not to die, but to hide.”― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow “I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.”― David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson “The man who kills a man kills a man. The man who kills himself kills all men. As far as he is concerned, he wipes out the world.”― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy Rapid Shifts among parts The man, who in a fit of melancholy, kills himself today, would have wished to live had he waited a week. Voltaire When you're young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you're laughing again. Marilyn Monroe who died of an overdose of barbiturates in 1962 at age 36 -- ruled a probable suicide by the county coroner. “The Suicide, as she is falling, Illuminated by the moon, Regrets her act, and finds appalling The thought she will be dead so soon.” ― Edward Gorey Impulse driven suicide 2015 Study in South Korea -- Clinical Psychopharmacology and Neuroscience 87% of suicide attempts were impulsive Most common trigger was interpersonal conflict Most common diagnosis was major depression. Often poorly planned Replicated a previous 2011 in South Korea study where 85% were impulsive 2016 South Korean Study in Psychiatry Investigation 48% of 269 suicide attempters brought to ERs were clearly impulsive, very sudden No Plan No previous suicidal ideation. They weren't thinking about it. Came out of the blue 1997 Study from Sweden 44% of suicide attempts were radically impulsive. Approach: Always reassure dangerous firefighters that you do not aim to get rid of them. Treat them with respect and appreciation; they have only been trying to help. They are trying to help, trying to protect you from misery. If dangerous firefighters think there is an effective alternative, they are often game to try that new way They need to experience hope. Hope is a necessity for normal life and the major weapon against the suicide impulse. Karl A. Menninger It is critically important to present them other options for safety, that they can be safe without needing suicide. We will get into how to work with them in the next episode. Managers' role in suicide Remember, managers are more proactive. Managers still can be very intense, and also in a lot of pain, but they are not so reactive. Planned Suicide Suicide seriously considered. Suicide as a "comforting" option. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche was a German philosopher, cultural critic, composer, poet, writer, and philologist whose work has exerted a profound influence on modern intellectual history. He began his career as a classical philologist before turning to philosophy. The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.” prepared a will, decided upon a method in advance, and planned the date of the attempt. Repeated suicidal impulses from firefighter can be taken up by managers Or firefighters can take on a more managerial role And use contemplation of suicide as a role. Quotes “The thought that I might kill myself formed in my mind coolly as a tree or a flower.” Sylvia Plath American poet, novelist, and short-story writer -- attempted suicide several times by several means. Succeeded at age 31, after experiencing major depression for most of her adult life. 1963. “There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about others' reactions to one's suicide or imagining how death would be a relief from life's travails. In both cases, an aspect of the fantasy is to exert control, either over others' views or toward life's difficulties. The writer A. Alvarez stated, " There people ... for whom the mere idea of suicide is enough; they can continue to function efficiently and even happily provided they know they have their own, specially chosen means of escape always ready..." In her riveting 2008 memoir of bipolar disorder, Manic, Terri Cheney opened the book by stating, "People... don't understand that when you're seriously depressed, suicidal ideation can be the only thing that keeps you alive. Just knowing there's an out--even if it's bloody, even if it's permanent--makes the pain bearable for one more day." This strategy appears to be effective for some people, but only for a while. Over longer periods, fantasizing about death leaves people more depressed and thus at higher risk for suicide, as Eddie Selby, Mike Amestis, and I recently showed in a study on violent daydreaming. A strategy geared toward increased feelings of self-control (fantasizing about the effects of one's suicide) "works" momentarily, but ultimately backfires by undermining feelings of genuine self-control in the long run.― Thomas Joiner, Myths About Suicide Like a drug. Battling among Parts “The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark—why not kill myself? Missed the bus—better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie—maybe I shouldn't kill myself.” ― Susanna Kaysen If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Comedian Steven Wright Reasons for Suicide Suicide is complex Suicide is complex, there's never a single reason why a person contemplates taking their own life, and there are no absolute indicators that a person could be in that state. Steve Crisp Superficial ones -- see IIC 76 section VII. Illusory Ones You didn't love me enough “A lot of you cared, just not enough.” ― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why -- young adult novel “Some people are just not meant to be in this world. It's just too much for them.” ― Phoebe Stone, The Boy on Cinnamon Street Vincent: Don McLean 1971 Vincent Van Gogh You took your life as lovers often doBut I could have told you, VincentThis world was never meant for oneAs beautiful as you Deeper, more primary causes -- unmet needs with despair that those needs will ever be met. Attachment Needs A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones No parts feel this. Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement Parts Isolated Felt comfort, reassurance Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure Felt support for the best self When attachment needs are not met, who comes in? Satan. Integrity Needs All of the above. Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity I exist my existence is separate from others -- I exist in my own right, a separate person. bounded, has boundaries My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity -- hard when parts are all over the place. I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control. Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions. I can make sense of my experience and the world around me Mission and Purpose in life We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in lif Compassionate responses When a famous person dies by suicide, we "remind" people to pick up the phone and call a hotline. "If he'd only reached out for help because help was available," is a frequent refrain, as if people who suffer don't know that and the disease doesn't disable cognitive function. We need to do more than give out phone numbers. Bob Collins We will be doing so much more. Through little things and big things. Next episode. Action Items If you are having suicidal thoughts or know of someone who is, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. Resilient Catholics Community. Catholic's Guide to Choosing a Therapist Catholic Journeymen -- Dr. Gerry Crete community of faithful Catholic men seeking to renew their lives through prayer, personal growth, healing, and brotherhood! Conversation hours T, R 317.567.9594 Not July 27 and July 29. Pray for me and for the other listeners Patronness and patron
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Intro: Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics Interior Integration for Catholics brings to you in each episode the best psychological information essential for your human formation, knowledge that is fundamental in shoring up the natural foundation for your Catholic spiritual life. In this podcast, we confront the tough questions we Catholics have in our day-to-day lives, we confront head on our struggles in the natural realm, the psychological difficulties that keep us from fully loving our Lord and our Lady in a deep, personal, intimate way. And we deal with these difficult, demanding issues for one primary reason: to free you to love God our Father, Jesus our Brother, the Holy Spirit and Our Mother Mary more and more over time. This podcast helps you focus inward on your interior integration -- to help you bring together the different parts of yourself into unity and harmony with God. 'Together, we are on a journey toward deep transformation in our mindsets, our heartsets and our bodysets, a radical transformation at the core of our being so that our souls can one day enter into contemplative union with God. I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide. This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor This is episode 56, released on February 22, 2021 This is the eighth episode in our series on sexuality and the second one on Pornography. And it is titled: What is Essential for Catholics to Recover from Porn? And I am really happy to have Dr. Gerry Crete, past president of the Catholic Psychological Association and the CEO and co-founder of Souls and Hearts with me for this episode Recognize that the fantasy involved in the pornography choices represent a dynamic that seeks to meet the unmet need Safety Attachment injuries Being seen Seeing others Connection Sense of “power” or agency Traumatic re-enactment The fantasy may provide a temporary answer to those needs while avoiding the pain Allow him to experience having his needs met in a healthy way What new information can you share with him What new role or position can the protector have now Recognize the courage it takes for the protector to seek a new role and embrace change Allow time to grieve the losses that pornography use has brought Recognize negative effects of pornography or other sexual acting out behavior in one's life Prepare to make reparations Wife/Family Self Others God Invite protector to grow and embrace freedom – recognize there will be a period of growth – it will need time and patience. Commit to being by his side What does it mean for the parts to be “in recovery” The self is present – better connections with others Completing tasks with a sense of completion rather than trying to escape pain (life) Ability to set goals and focus on them rather than obsession with momentary perceived needs Willingness to receive feedback Ability to recognize time rather than entering into a blackhole of time Finds meaning in activities and relationships
Intro: Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics -- the podcast formerly known as Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem! Interior Integration for Catholics brings to you each week the best psychological information essential for your human formation, knowledge that is so fundamental in shoring up the natural foundation for your Catholic spiritual life. In this podcast, we ask and answer the tough questions about the real problems we Catholics have in our day-to-day lives, our struggles in the natural realm, the psychological difficulties that keep us from fully loving our Lord and our Lady in a deep, personal, intimate way. In order to free you to love God the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Our Mother Mary, I help to you focus inward on your interior integration -- to help you bring together the different parts of yourself into unity and harmony with God's truth, goodness and beauty Together, we are looking for a deep transformation in our mindsets, our heartsets and our bodysets, a radical transformation at the core of our being so that our souls unite with God and we can rise to the challenges and opportunities He provides us. I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide. This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor This is episode 51, released on January 18, 2021 This is the third episode in our series on sexuality. and it is titled: Top 10 Reasons Why Catholic Men Masturbate. And maybe some of you think you know why Catholic Men masturbate. But maybe, just maybe some of you are not satisfied with the simple, surface answers. Maybe some of you suspect that there are psychological reasons may be a lot deeper than the common explanations would suggest. I'm here to say that I think there is so much more going on with masturbation than what may be available in conscious awareness. I've been a psychologist since 2001 and in the last 20 years, I've had the opportunity to explore the reasons for masturbation in the lives of many, many Catholic men. Top ten reasons that Catholic men give for why they masturbate -- but wait, there's more Top ten deeper reasons why they really masturbate So if you are interested in getting a much more complete answers, answers that plumb the depths of our psyches stay tuned. Why not women? Fair question. I've seen far more Catholic men actively struggling with this than Catholic women -- and I'm going off my clinical experience. Masturbation is a great concern for some women. I just know less about it in the lives of women. Many of the points are likely to be equally valid for women as for men. Valuable for women to understand why Catholic men masturbate. Parents, be mindful of how much of this you may want your young children to hear. Definitions Important to define our terms and be clear about the concepts Confucius: The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their proper names APA Dictionary of Psychology: n. manipulation of one's own genital organs, typically the penis or clitoris, for purposes of sexual gratification. The act is usually accompanied by sexual fantasies or erotic literature, pictures, or videos. Masturbation may also include the use of mechanical devices (e.g., a vibrator) or self-stimulation of other organs, such as the anus or nipples. Objections: overdone sense of propriety -- Victorian age -- women not able to be examined Coded language, often poorly understood Often driven by a sense of shame -- a desire to hide. Victorian Age characterized by a lot of sexual acting out. Lots of it. "Self-abuse" Fear of talking about masturbation will increase the likelihood of masturbating. Depends on the context. In a clinical context, no. Rebuttal -- if we can put our experiences into language and share them verbally Much better able to engage our intellect Fr. John Hardon -- his 1981 book "The Catholic Catechism": in addressing masturbation P. 355: More than ever, the Church is becoming aware of the need for probing beneath the surface of not only what a person is doing by why he is doing it. Impulses and tendencies that well up from the subconscious (or unconscious) are seen as contributing to overt actions that reflect the behavioral pattern of the environment, even while they contradict the deepest values in which a person believes. Experiences no longer pre-verbal -- chaos of emotions, body sensations, images, sensory experiences, desires, impulses -- we need to be able to name them, or they remain shadowy, dark, ominous And our will -- we are less likely to act out on them less likely to sin Contradicts a commonly held notion - that if we ignore, suppress, repress, avoid a problem it will go away Sin thrives in the darkness Secular Psychology Views on Masturbation Joe Kort, Ph.D. 2020 Article in Psychology Today: Masturbation is Sexual Health. And yet here we are in 2020 and talking about masturbation is still taboo in most of society. And that's a shame, literally and figuratively, because masturbation is still widely considered shameful, and because for most people it's a healthy and normal activity. There is actually a term these days for those who prefer masturbation over other forms of sex: solosexual. World has radically different views from the Catholic Church on sexuality. Mine is a minority opinion -- you can write me off as fringey if you want. Catholic teaching on Masturbation CCC 2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes. 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.""The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139 Is Masturbation a Mortal Sin? CCC 1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent."131 Grave matter -- Grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate consent 2352 Referring to masturbation CCC 2352 goes on…To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. Spiritual directors and confessors Force of acquired habit, affective immaturity or other mitigating factors -- in some ways a much more significant structural problem -- lack of integration. It can be really hard to have the humility in accepting Church teaching on this one. Why is it a problem on a natural level Freud -- wrote of the "disease of masturbation" -- and even though he asserted that children were sexual beings, he documented his concerns about the effects of masturbation on adolescent sexual development. CS Lewis, 1956 letter to a close friend "For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete his own personality in that of another and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is: always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is: always adored, always the perfect love, no demand is made of his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself." (Lewis 1956, p. 168) – Letter to a close friend Dead end -- not really a solution -- closed to procreation and closed to loving the spouse. Huge insult to the spouse. Shaming effect. Wife: I'm not good enough -- very activating, Most reasons given below, the spouse is not the cause. Still, great shame attaches. I'm not good enough. Self-absorption -- CS Lewis quote above. Contrast it with Woody Allen: ‘Don't knock masturbation,' Woody Allen famously quipped: ‘It's sex with someone I love.' How big of an issue is it? Stats Actions 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey 61% of Men masturbate 2010 Article in Journal of Sexual Medicine -- In last month 69% of 25-29 y.o. men, nearly 2/3 of men 18-49 > 80% of men 18-49 in last year TENGA 2018 Global Self-Pleasure Report -- 92% of American Men masturbate. Souls and Hearts informal surveys of Priests -- porn and masturbation. Sexual issues Understanding Why men Masturbate Start with compassionate attempts to understand. Know what we are dealing with. Shaming parts beating up the man Very sensitive to any additional shame. Reasons men give for why they masturbate - FOTW in my office, in my Catholic practice over the last 20 years. Lust, I just want pleasure I'm weak, I lack willpower. To de-stress, calm down, unwind, relax, To fall asleep -- burned out It's a habit, I do it out of habit Anger Boredom Wife/girlfriend is frigid, cold, sexually distant, withholding -man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Preventing acting out with girlfriend Because I'm bad. The devil made me do it -- temptation Another common response. I don't know why -- I don't want to. Often scared, really uncomfortable with a feeling of loss of control Romans 7:15: I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Issues with these explanations Looking at the surface behaviors and only the immediate context of the masturbation Lack of awareness, lack of access to much of their internal psychological and emotional lives Not recognizing deeper needs, deep intentions. Masturbation as a symptom -- later in the causal chain. Also a problem in and of itself -- Fever of 107. Review of Parts -- IFS perspective Multiplicity and Unity of Self Really helpful for understanding why Catholic men do what they don't want to do. Discussion of Parts within each person are separate, identifiable and enduring constellations of thoughts, emotions, attitudes, impulses, desires, abilities, interests, relational styles, body sensations, and worldviews that are not just transient emotional states, but rather constitute discrete “parts,” subpersonalities or distinct modes of operating within the person's larger internal system. Like little persons within us, each with its own particular range of emotion, style of expression, abilities, desires views of the world. Modes of operating Subpersonalities Orchestra model Focus is on integration. Get forced into extreme roles -- attachment injuries and relational traumas Three roles Exiles -- most sensitive -- become injured or outraged by important other in the family or social world. Threatens the system, external relationships Exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships Want care and love, rescue, redemption shame. Need for redemption Managers Protective, strategic, controlling environment, keep things safe Obsessions. Compulsions, reclusiveness, passivity, numbing. Panic attacks, somatic complaints, depressive episodes, hypervigiliance. Firefighters Stifle, anesthetize, distract from feelings of exiles No concern for consequences Binge eating, drug/alcohol use, dissociation, sexual risk taking, cutting Parts can take over the person Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley We call it blending. Intentions of parts -- always good, but the means they choose can be very harmful, maladaptive. Look at sexual fantasies and the pornography that often goes with it Will have Dr. Gerry Crete on in Episode 53, in two weeks to discuss pornography Can be separated Conscious sexual fantasies -- often very difficult to talk about because of shame Unconscious sexual fantasies -- repressed with the part, but still active, still having an effect Looking at sexual history. Deeper reasons -- focusing on psychological here -- not the spiritual. Vice exists, sinfulness exists, lust exists. We are looking at the natural foundation. Loneliness: Yearning for intimate connection but with control -- CS Lewis quote Insecurity or a sense of a lack of safety -- fears of abandonment Difficulty with real relationships -- current or possible Self-soothing. Cry for help -- from parts exiled in the unconscious -- using a symptom that they know will attract attention. Single symptom presentation (see next episode) Anger at God -- retaliation. Regulating distance from God -- getting too close Fear of fusion Cycle -- self sabotage Fearing the next spiritual level -- the perceived demands. God image stuff. Perfect sin -- doesn't hurt anybody else Not true Anger at wife Revenge -- unconscious anger -- not meeting my needs for a mother or a God. Acting out Begging for help from the wife -- maladaptive way Controlling sex life -- if you don't have sex with me, I'll do this. May not be conscious Effects of sexual abuse Connection with abuser -- hanging on to relational connection Deep, existential lack of Safety -- self soothing. Testing reality, grounding I feel so dead inside. Primitive level Feeling something, anything Serves the same cutting -- bleeding proves that I am alive, even though I feel no life within me. Numbness. Hypoarousal. Temptation -- devils go after the most isolated, most lonely parts, carrying burdens. Follow the stories of: Richard: 48 years old, Grew up nominally Catholic, but in a troubled, broken home, parents divorced when he was 15, lots of conflict in the home growing up, parents dissatisfied, because his mother had an affair and it shattered his father when it was revealed. Masturbated since his teenage years, high school locker room, Playboy magazines going around in 1987 right around the time that he parents were battling each other in high conflict and he had to try to care for his younger siblings. Really wanted to be included, be one of the guys on the basketball team. The other players really reveled in Richard joining them In viewing porn and in their conversations about their sexual exploits, as Richard had been considered a stuck up snob. Tried to stop masturbating at various times in his life, furtive sensed it was wrong, knew enough about Church teaching. Fantasies of different women, women who were in their mid 30s. Brunette women with dark eyes, women with curves, a little heavier than the typical playboy centerfolds. Wanted to read the stories about their lives, what they needed, and fantasize about how he could meet their needs and then they would be devoted to him and highly committed. Dated a lot of girls, most of them brunettes with dark eyes, lots of sexual relationships Then married Linda, a very pretty woman with a lot of dependency issues who was crazy about him. Sex before marriage was really sensual. After marriage, not so much. Richard felt burdened by his wife's dependency and passive resentment. Married 22 years, four kids, regular Mass-goer, wanted to raise his kids right. Continued with porn and masturbation, always when he was alone with deep, often unacknowledged feelings of shame and inadequacy and fears of being abandoned again. Deeper causes Fears of abandonment, insecurity rising up again -- unresolved from mom's erratic behavior Exiled part -- needing a mom, lonely, needy -- rises up In the past, gotten him into bad relationships -- terrible endings. Must avoid that Firefighter leaps in with porn -- keeps him from looking for an affair, attempt to distract from the loneliness, neediness, pain, weakness. Hyperarousal, attempt to flee from the intensity of the exiled part's experience Manager -- internal critic condemns himself. Did it again. Loneliness Anger at wife Luis Seminarian Deep devotion to God Parents married, Dad distant, mom thinks he's a little autistic, not emotionally attuned Very close enmeshed relationship with Mom Part of the reason for going to seminary -- no other men, can be mom's one and only Experiences close relationships as fusion -- blending together. Wrap up Now that we have identified the issues around masturbation and its causes much more accurately and in greater detail, in the next episode, we'll get into how to overcome masturbation Follow the stories of Richard and Luis -- what happens with them. Welcoming the Interior Therapist Community to Souls and Hearts -- this community of 32 therapists working with me on their human formation and learning IFS principles. This had been in my private practice, Secure Foundations, but Dr. Gerry and I agreed that it would be great to bring it under the umbrella of Souls and Hearts. That community is currently closed to new therapists, but we will be reopening in just a few weeks -- all kinds of opportunities there, if you are a therapist, and we do a bonus podcast for them on clinical assessment around masturbation, how to approach understanding masturbation in your clients. If you're a Catholic clinician who is interested, get in touch with me on my cell at 317.567.9594 or my email at crisis@soulsandhearts.com February 19, 2021 -- 10 AM to 1:15 PM Eastern time. I have been invited to do a webinar for the Catholic Psychotherapy Association entitled "Why Do I Avoid God? An Internal Family Systems-Informed Approach to Parts' Negative God Images" Here we get into how different parts see God. Lots of experiential work. For information and registration go to catholicpsychotherapy.org/events We have the Resilient Catholic community. That community is about transformation, about preparing the way for love in our souls. It's about being together as Catholics on a journey, on a mission to really enter into an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ our brother, the Holy Spirit who is Love Himself and with our spiritual parents, God the Father and Mary our Mother. It's about sharing our experiences in that journey on that mission. Get on the waiting list soulsandhearts.com/rccd so you will get information before the general public does. Those on the waiting list -- thank you for your patience, hoping to reopen the community in April. Will do a bonus podcast -- community members -- experiential exercise, a Parts Roundtable about Masturbation -- Those bonus podcasts come out on Tuesday, one day later, so this one will release on January 19. Office hours for the RC community on Wednesday, January 27 from 9:15 to 10:15 AM Eastern time. Register on our app. Can start by sharing these podcast -- spotify, apple podcasts, google play, amazon. Share it on social media -- buttons are on our website at soulsandhearts.com/coronavirus-crisis -- get your word out there, with your personal recommendation -- how these episodes have helped you. Share them, let others know You can reach out to me at 317.567.9594 or at crisis@soulsandhearts.com Patronness and Patron.
Dr. Mario Sacasa welcomes Dr. Gerry Crete, marriage therapist and co-founder of the online ministry Souls and Hearts. They talk about the importance of setting boundaries in relationships, the dangers of poor boundaries in relationships and at work, and how to reclaim some stability. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmariosacasa/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmariosacasa/ Websites mentioned in the show: Souls and … Continue reading "062 – Boundaries are Good with Dr. Gerry Crete"
Dr. Peter Malinoski and Dr. Gerry Crete read the Sunday Mass Readings for the 13th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A. Check out our sister podcast Be With the Word for psychological insights into these readings on where secular psychology gets it wrong.
Dr. Gerry Crete and Dr. Peter Malinoski read the Mass readings for the Second Sunday of Lent, Cycle A.
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