Podcast appearances and mentions of Robert Enright

We're live with Dr. Robert Enright, Catholic licensed psychologist and the founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, talks about his book "Forgiving as Unity with Christ: A Journey of Healing Resentment and Relationships", Johnny Hebert and Dr. Tom Neal, Chief of Evangelization and Mission Engagement of the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee with Catholic 101 segment.

Dr. Robert Enright's book takes you on a journey to reduce resentment and repair relationships through the physical, psychological and emotional healing that comes with forgiveness.

Dr. Robert D. Enright – Forgiving as Unity with Christ on Inside the Pages with Kris McGregor Dr. Robert Enright speaks with Kris McGregor about his book Forgiving as Unity with Christ: A Journey for Healing, Resentment, and Relationships. He shares how an epiphany in 1985 redirected his academic career toward the study of forgiveness, ... Read more The post IP#509 Dr. Robert D. Enright – Forgiving as Unity with Christ on Inside the Pages with Kris McGregor – Discerning Hearts Podcast appeared first on Discerning Hearts Catholic Podcasts.

With the recent news of a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas and the eventual return of the remaining Israeli hostages, tensions remain high between pro- and anti-Zionist communities here in Canada, who've stood sharply divided on the foreign conflict for 15 months. Members of those communities may still be holding hatred or anger in their hearts—leading to increased depression, anxiety and isolation. But according to Dr. Robert Enright, forgiveness is a choice rooted in mercy—and doesn't come at the expense of moral justice. As the co-founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, Enright has dedicated his career to studying forgiveness and the effects it has on the human brain and body. He joins Ralph Benmergui on the latest episode of Not That Kind of Rabbi. Credits Host: Ralph Benmergui Producer: Michael Fraiman Music: Yevhen Onoychenko Support The CJN Subscribe to The CJN newsletter Donate to The CJN (+ get a charitable tax receipt) Subscribe to Not That Kind of Rabbi (Not sure how? Click here)

Här kommer en liten sen Julhälsning, där vi samtalar om Kosmos nr 4 2024. Temat är Förlåtelse. Vi tittar på den djupt personliga förlåtelsen i t.ex. nära relationer, men också dess nödvändighet i det stora, i globala konflikter m.m. Och hur förlåtelsen är en stor vändpunkt i mänsklighetens utveckling.    Deltar i samtalet gör Sören Grind, Ulla-Mir Renöfält och Daniel Palmgren.   Musik: Lars Palerius   Länkar: Intervju med forskaren och psykologen Robert Enright. Han har skapat "Forgiveness Theraphy" vilket omnämns i samtalet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKk2_r9SRRk International Forgiveness Institute, som är skapat av samma forskare https://internationalforgiveness.com  

Send us a textIn this episode I interview Dr. Robert Enright about his book and Evidenced based intervention, "Forgiveness Therapy".Dr. Enright talks about the therapy in a nutshell, the data demonstrating its efficacy and the challenges he faced to overpower misguided academic ideology with raw data.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for October 5, 2024 is: adversary • AD-ver-sair-ee • noun An adversary is an enemy or opponent. // Upon learning that its adversaries were ahead in sales, the company quickly formed a new advertising campaign. See the entry > Examples: “... These students will not be better off if they know how to add up a grocery bill but have no clue about how to deal with an adversary from 10 years ago who suddenly appears before them. If the purpose of education is to prepare our children for the future, perhaps it is time to factor in the survival approach of learning how to forgive.” — Robert Enright, Psychology Today, 25 June 2024 Did you know? If you consider an opponent as someone with whom one goes toe-to-toe, head-to-head, or even mano a mano, it may help you remember the meaning of adversary, a more formal synonym of opponent. Adversary comes from the Latin verb advertere, meaning “to turn or direct toward,” which makes sense; even if two adversaries are not literally face-to-face, their goals and aims are usually in direct conflict with (i.e., turned or directed toward) one another. The vertere part of advertere means “to turn,” and is the source of a number of English words, including some that are obvious, such as inadvertent and adverse, and others that are less so, like anniversary and vertebra.

In this episode of the NeuroFaith podcast, Dr. Curt Thompson interviews Dr. Robert Enright, a licensed psychologist and professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Dr. Enright, a pioneer in the study of forgiveness, shares his journey from focusing on justice within moral development to exploring the concept of forgiveness. Despite facing opposition from the academic community on the subject of forgiveness, Enright persisted. Driven by the belief that forgiveness could benefit those suffering from deep injustices, he continued his work. Over time, his persistence paid off, as the study of forgiveness has gained acceptance and is widely researched and applied in mental health practices. Listen as Dr. Enright emphasizes the importance of adopting a more forgiving and lesresentful mindset that can lead to significant personal healing and community renewal in our lives. Resources: Create a free THINQ Account to access more trusted content like this on topics from all channels of culture at thinqmedia.com. Check out more from the THINQ podcast network: NextUp with Grant Skeldon The InFormed Parent with Suzanne Phillips THINQ Podcast with Gabe Lyons UnderCurrent with Gabe Lyons

To forgive or not to forgive…are you asking yourself this question and wondering if it is time to start the process of forgiving another or yourself? Our podcast guest for this episode is Dr. Robert Enright, a founding board member of the International Forgiveness Institute, who is often described as the “father of forgiveness research” because of his commitment over the past four decades to researching and implementing forgiveness programs. We discuss the connection between forgiveness and well-being, the steps you can take to begin your forgiveness journey, and resources to help you get started. We also talk about the role of forgiveness in resolving our conflicts with others. We hope you'll tune in. Check out resources referenced in the podcast and books by Robert D. Enright, PhD at the International Forgiveness Institute.The information in this podcast does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. It should not be used as a substitute for health care from a licensed healthcare professional. Consult with your healthcare provider for individualized treatment or before beginning any new program. 

Hour 3 of The Drew Mariani Show on 3-27-24 Monsignor Stephen Rossetti of St. Michael Center For Spiritual Renewal  joins us for a discussion around Judas Iscariot's betrayal of Jesus -- when scripture says that "Satan entered him" at the Last Supper, does this mean that Judas was possessed? Dr. Robert Enright of the International Forgiveness Institute helps us look at Christ's ability to forgive, even to Peter who had denied him and abandoned him in his hour of need 

Is it truly possible to forgive and forget? According to the Catechism, "It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession" (CCC 2843). Join Jason and special guest Fr. John Burns in this Lenten season to dive into the transformative power of forgiveness in our lives. Together, they'll discuss: -What prevents us from receiving God's forgiveness? -Why is it so hard to forgive others, or to ask for their forgiveness? -And what about forgiving ourselves – why is that often the biggest challenge?   Check out Fr. John Burns at: https://www.instagram.com/fatherjohnburns/ https://twitter.com/fatherjohnburns/ https://www.facebook.com/fatherjohnnyburns/ Friends of the Bridegroom: https://www.renewreligious.org/ Join our community on Patreon: http://patreon.com/jasonevert Healing Resources: Sister Miriam & Fr. Burns, Healing Through Forgiveness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq_7Gi4tz5o Dr. Robert Enright: https://internationalforgiveness.com/product/the-forgiving-life/  https://internationalforgiveness.com/product/forgiveness-is-a-choice/ Dr. Bob Schuchts: https://www.avemariapress.com/authors/bob-schuchts Follow Jason On: https://www.instagram.com/jasonevert/ https://www.tiktok.com/jasonevert/ https://twitter.com/jasonevert https://www.facebook.com/JasonandCrystalinaEvert Check Out the Chastity Project's Website For Resources: https://chastity.com/  

Welcome back to another empowering episode of Father and Joe! In this discussion, Joe Rockey and Father Boniface Hicks delve into the profound topic of forgiveness, offering practical tools and insights to transform relationships. Father Hicks references Dr. Robert Enright's work and the International Forgiveness Institute, providing a valuable 20-step process for forgiveness. They emphasize that forgiveness starts with a personal decision, not dependent on external factors. The conversation explores scenarios of hurt, misunderstandings, and the importance of prayer in the process.Father Hicks highlights the role of Jesus in helping us forgive and the idea of letting Jesus forgive through us. The discussion moves into the dynamics of reconciliation in more common relationship issues, such as those within marriages, families, and friendships. Practical steps, including intentional conversations, gestures, and acknowledging one's part in conflicts, are shared.Join Father and Joe in this insightful dialogue, discovering ways to catch the wave of forgiveness and enhance your relationships. Don't miss out on the tools and wisdom shared for building better connections. Remember, forgiveness is a journey that starts with a decision. Like, share, and subscribe for more enriching discussions. Stay tuned for next week's episode! Join Father and Joe in this heartfelt conversation about self-discovery, growth, and the powerful impact of helping others along the way. If you find inspiration in spiritual discussions and real-life wisdom, you won't want to miss this episode!Seek Peace. Be Open to God and Love. Learn from Your Sufferings.Thank you for listening to the Father and Joe podcast. For inquiries and feedback, reach out to us at FatherAndJoe@gmail.com.Religion, Forgiveness, Relationship Advice, Catholicism, Father Boniface Hicks, Joe Rockey, Personal Growth, Healing, Faith, Christian Living, Relationship Building, Spiritual Guidance, Emotional Wellness, Podcast, Catholic Podcast, Father John Burns, Robert Enright, International Forgiveness Institute, Tools for Forgiveness, Practical Steps, Emotional Healing, Love and Forgiveness, Building Better Relationships, Catholic Insights, Christian Lifestyle, Marriage Advice, Faithful Living, Catholic Teaching, Personal Development, Emotional Resilience, Faith-based Wisdom, Faith and Relationships, Communication Skills, Inner Healing.

Hour 3 of The Drew Mariani Show on 12-27-23 Dr. Robert Enright, a specialist on forgiveness, dives into the topic of difficult relationships - especially those involving anger

During the holiday season, we're often encouraged to make amends and forgive people, but what does it take to really forgive someone? And what happens to your brain and body when you do... or don't? In this episode, Sanjay talks with forgiveness science pioneer, Robert Enright. He's been studying and writing about forgiveness for decades at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and he says forgiveness is a choice, and that your ability to do it can be strengthened like a muscle. Enright walks us through a range of scenarios, from forgiving small things like being late for a meeting to larger ones, like forgiving someone who's engaged in violence.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Think for a second about the last time you forgave someone. Was it hard? How did it make you feel? Or what about the person you forgave? This time on The Facing Project, J.R. Jamison shares the stories of two women — one who forgave the man who paralyzed her son in a car accident, and another who forgave her once absent mother and abusive brother. Later, he is joined by Dr. Robert Enright, who was named by TIME magazine as the leading researcher on the psychology behind forgiveness. Photo Credit – Flickr Creative Commons: https://flic.kr/p/6BaVu2 Stories included in this episode – Stopping to Forgive Greg Zgunda's story as told to Stephanie Fisher by his mother, Beverly Zgunda, from Facing Disabilities in East Central Indiana. Performed by Katy Wolfe. What I Know About Me An anonymous story as told to Bev Nye from Facing Poverty in McPherson, Kansas. Performed by Tiffany Erk. This episode originally broadcast on Sep. 24th, 2022. The Facing Project Radio Show is made possible in part by Behavior Associates.

Feel Good From Within with Yvette Le Blowitz - #SPAITGIRL Podcast EP.207 - The Forgiving Life w/Dr Robert Enright, Licensed Psychologist, Founder of the International Forgiveness Institute  Dr Robert Enright, PhD is the unquestioned pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness. He has been called "the forgiveness trailblazer" by Time magazine and is often introduced as "the father of forgiveness research" because of his 35-year academic commitment to researching and implementing forgiveness programs. In The Forgiving Life, Dr Robert Enright, PhD offers scientifically guidance to help people forgive those in their lives who have acted unfairly and have inflicted emotional hurt. Dr Robert Enright, PhD holds the Aristotelian Professorship in Forgiveness Science within the Department of Educational Psychology, University of Wisconsin-Madison. Dr Robert Enright is a Licensed Psychologist, and founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, a non-profit organisation dedicated to disseminating knowledge about forgiveness and community renewal through forgiveness. He is the first to publish a scientific study on the topic of person-to-person forgiveness, in 1989. He is the first to publish research on forgiveness therapy, in 1993, as he developed the 20-step "Process Model of Forgiving." Dr. Enright is the author or editor of eight books and over 190 publications entered on social development and the psychology of forgiveness. His latest endeavours include forgiveness education for students in various world communities (for example, Israel, Monrovia, Northern Ireland, the Philippines, and Taiwan) and forgiveness therapy with those in correctional institutions. For his innovative research on forgiveness, he received in 2022 what the American Psychological Association calls "psychology's highest awards," the American Psychological Foundation (APF) Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology. In The Forgiving Life, Dr Robert Enright, noted forgiveness expert invites readers, listeners to learn the benefits of forgiveness and to embark on a path of forgiveness, leaving behind a legacy of love. Guided by thought-provoking questions, journaling exercises, and Enright's kind encouragement, readers and listeners can chart their own journey through a new life of forgiveness. Yvette Le Blowitz Podcast Host talks with Dr Robert Enright, Author of The Forgiving Life to find out what the pathway is to overcoming resentment.  In Podcast Episode - EP.206 Dr Robert Enright shares: - a little bit about himself - insights into her book - The Forgiving Life - what is forgiveness - what are the benefits of forgiveness - how to confront pain and rise above it to forgive - how to loosen the grip of depression, anger and resentment that has soured our life. - how to embark on a path of forgiveness - his own self-care rituals Plus we talk about so much more........ Get Ready To TUNE ---- Get Ready to TUNE IN  Episode 207 - #spaitgirl Podcast with Yvette Le Blowitz  available on Apple, Spotify, Google, iHeart Radio, Amazon Music, Audible, Libysn - all podcast apps search for #spaitgirl on any podcast app or on google  -------- Available to watch on Youtube Channel - Spa it Girl or Yvette Le Blowitz Press the Play Button Below and subscribe ------ JOIN OUR #SPAITGIRL BOOK CLUB Buy a copy of   **The Forgiving Life by Dr Robert Enright**pre-order through the spaitgirl podcast affiliated BookTopia link *any book purchase via this link will result in a small commission paid by BookTopia to spaitgirl **thanks for your support for more books search via Booktopia our affiliated online book store  *click here Hashtag #spaitgirlbookclub + tag @spaitgirl to share what book you are currently reading --- STAY IN TOUCH   Podcast Guest Dr Robert Enright Author of  The Forgiving Life  Email: drbob@internationalforgiveness.com Website www.internationalforgiveness.com ------ Podcast Host  Yvette Le Blowitz  Instagram @yvetteleblowitz Website www.yvetteleblowitz.com Website www.feelgoodfromwithin.com Youtube Channel: Yvette Le Blowitz  TikTok: @yvetteleblowitz Become a Podcast Show Sponsor #SPAITGIRL  www.spaitgirl.com Email: info@spaitgirl.com Email: info@feelgoodfromwithin.com www.feelgoodfromwithin.com Support by Donating at GoFundMe -- JOIN OUR #SPAITGIRL Community  Instagram: @spaitgirl TikTok: @spaitgirl Sign Up to my Mailing List: www.spaitgirl.com Sign Up to my Mailing List: www.feelgoodfromwithin.com Search for #spaitgirl on any podcast app, youtube and subscribe  --- HOW TO SUPPORT The #SPAITGIRL Podcast Show  Practice a Little Random Act of Kindness  - subscribe to the #spaitgirl podcast show on any podcast app or youtube channel  - leave a 5* rating and review  - tell someone about the #spaitgirl podcast show - share your favourite episode - tag @spaitgirl in your stories - hashtag #spaitgirl to share the show &  Together "Let's Feel Good From Within" and #makefeelinggoodgoviral Please note - Affiliated Links included in this spaitgirl.com blog post includes affiliated links with Amazon.com and booktopia.com.au- should you order any books from Amazon.com or Booktopia.com.au via the links contained in this blog post spaitgirl.com will receive a small paid commission fee from the online book stores.  Please note - The information in this podcast is a general conversation between the podcast host and podcast guest and is not intended to replace professional medical advice and should not be considered a substitute for medical treatment or advice from a mental health professional or qualified medical doctor or specialist.  Use of any of the material in this podcast show is always at the listeners discretion.   The podcast host and guest accept no liability arising directly or indirectly from use or misuse of any of the information contained in this podcast show and podcast episode conversation, or any trauma triggered or health concerns associated with it. 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While forgiveness seems to be for the HCP, it is actually for you, the spouse. Forgiveness is not condoning, accepting, excusing or denying the abuse. Our guest takes us through a 4 phase process that helps you to uncover the impact of unforgiveness, examine the benefits of choosing forgiveness, begin the journey to forgive and the healing that journey invites and ultimately, how forgiveness, healing and growth is the cornerstone for finding meaning in the struggle with the HCP.The psychological impact of living with a HCP crushes your self esteem often leaving you, the spouse insecure, reactive and bitter. Our guest, Dr. Gayle Reed, shares how forgiveness is a healing balm for the spouse of the HCP. She explains the traumatic impact of verbal and emotional abuse and the psychological defenses you use to manage the resulting anger, pain and confusion.Gayle Reed, a former psychiatric nurse, received a PhD from the University of Wisconsin--Madison under graduate advisor Dr. Robert Enright, internationally known leader in research on forgiveness and co-founder of the International Forgiveness Institute. Dr. Reed's own research on forgiveness has demonstrated that a forgiveness recovery program resulted in psychological benefits for women with a history of spousal psychological abuse and childhood sexual abuse. This research has been featured in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology and on the Jane Pauley show (NBC).Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Win Without Law School: https://www.winwithoutlawschool.com/ Join the Ultimate High Conflict Divorce Summit: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/summit2023

It seems that the denizens of New London, Connecticut have real issues with forgiveness and letting go. Every year they throw a bizarre festival castigating the infamous American Revolutionary War-era traitor Benedict Arnold for giving information to the British forces leading them to raid and burn New London in 1781. The annual event consists of parades with revelers wearing tricorn hats, carrying mock bayonets and torches and other commemorations all culminating in the burning of Arnold in effigy after 242 years. Really, no really! Forgiving is not always easy, it's like trying to fold a giant fitted sheet—a seemingly impossible task that requires patience, flexibility, and perhaps a touch of divine intervention. So that got us thinking about how anger, resentment, and hatred impact our wellbeing and what the benefits of forgiveness may offer us. And because it's what he does, Peter tracked down the Godfather of forgiveness, the man who recognized its power and has since dedicated his life to the research and proliferation of forgiveness. Lauded as a “game changer in modern psychology” by the American Psychological Foundation, Dr. Robert Enright holds the Aristotelian Professorship in Forgiveness Science in the UW–Madison School of Education's Department of Educational Psychology. He's also a five-time Nobel Peace Prize nominee, winner of the 2022 American Psychological Foundation's Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology, and author of the first scientific study on person-to-person forgiveness.   IN THIS EPISODE: Forgiveness defined and its scientifically proven benefits. When someone forgives but keeps punishing you. Does forgiveness negate justice? The cultures that have adopted unconditional forgiveness. Should schools teach forgiveness as part of a basic curriculum? Too much forgiveness? Toxic forgiveness? 100 men in maximum-security prison; how forgiveness affected them? The step-by-step process to achieve forgiveness. The scientific reason we blame people. Jason's mother's reason for blaming people. Historical feuds, Seinfeld grudges & producer Lorre's vendettas. Peter's skin's quality and why Jason likes touching him.   FOLLOW DR. ENRIGHT: InternationalForgiveness.com   FOLLOW REALLY NO REALLY: www.reallynoreally.com Instagram YouTube TikTok Facebook Threads X (Twitter)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is forgiveness a gift you give... yourself? Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, shares facts that will shift your perspective, and hear one incredible woman tell her true story of forgiving the unforgivable. This episode originally aired on August 14, 2018. This podcast is supported by:LMNTLMNT is offering Commune listeners a free sample pack with any purchase. That's 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors or share LMNT with a salty friend. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/COMMUNETimeline NutritionTimeline Nutrition is pioneering a new approach to longevity, one that stands on a decade of scientific discovery to unlock the power within your cells. Your body is an energy generating machine, Timeline makes it more powerful. Use code commune to get 10% off at timelinenutrition.com/communeThrive MarketThis podcast is supported by Thrive Market - Join Thrive Market today and get a FREE $80 in free groceries when you go to thrivemarket.com/commune BetterHelpBetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule. It's the same professional service you'd get from an in-person therapist, but with the option to communicate when and how you want – by chat, phone, or video call. Start on your own journey of self-discovery, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/commune to get 20% off your first month of online therapy.InsideTrackerLive healthier longer. InsideTracker is your personalized dashboard. For a limited time, you can get 20% off by visiting https://insidetracker.com/drg

I consider agape love to be the highest form of love and I'm so excited to share this topic with you.  On this show Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, and I discuss the following and more: What is the definition of agape love and how is it different than other forms of love, such as Eros (romantic love) or love among family?  Are feelings of love necessary to practice agape love?  How does agape love fit in with justice and fairness?  How does agape love fit in with other virtues defined by psychology and religion?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  Dr. Enright is the Aristotelian Professor in Forgiveness Science in the School of Education's Department of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   For his work in the peace movement, Dr. Enright has been named the Paul Harris Fellow by Rotary International.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications, including cross-cultural studies, on this and related topics.I dedicate most of my podcast episodes to non-profit groups and today's show is dedicated to:  https://www.internationalforgiveness.com.   Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

When someone hurts you, it can feel justifiable or even satisfying to nurse a grudge. But psychologists have found that forgiveness, when done right, can lead to better mental, emotional and even physical health for the forgiver. Robert Enright, PhD, of the International Forgiveness Institute and the University of Wisconsin-Madison, discusses how you know if you're ready to forgive, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, whether any harms are truly unforgivable, and how to forgive someone who isn't sorry for what they've done. For transcripts, links and more information, please visit the Speaking of Psychology Homepage.

Dr. Robert Enright is the founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, a non-profit organization dedicated to disseminating knowledge about forgiveness and community renewal through forgiveness. He was the first person ever to publish a study about person-to-person forgiveness in 1989. Dr. Enright has also be called the forgiveness trailblazer by Time Magazine.   In this episode, we talk about: ◾️The Forgiveness Gym ◾️The power of teaching children forgiveness and the impact it can have on their lives. ◾️Dr. Enright's journey.   internationalforgiveness.com

Welcome to another insightful episode of The Money Gains Podcast, where we chat with remarkable individuals about their personal finance journeys! This week, we are absolutely thrilled to have Robert Enright as our esteemed guest.

This is the 16th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. This episode answers the question: Can forgiveness and justice happen together?    Dr. Enright brings in Aristotle in his answer . . . The following is a complete list of episodes in this series, which can be found at the Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra podcast: What is the definition of forgiveness?  What are the benefits of forgiveness?What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?Is forgiveness just about religion? What is it to work the “forgiveness muscle?”What are some of the criticisms of the idea of forgiveness?Why is an “eye for an eye” not the best way?If I forgive, I'm afraid I'll forget OR if I forgive, I'm afraid I won't forget.Why is forgiveness better than a neutral attitude toward the wrongdoer?Isn't forgiveness unhealthy repression?Do I forgive if the person continues to hurt me?Should I forgive immediately or should I take some time first?What if multiple people have hurt you, how do you decide who to forgive first? How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?How often should one forgive?  Can forgiveness and justice happen together?  What are the physical and emotional risks of not forgiving?  (not yet released)Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the last of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.   This episode answers the question: What are the physical and emotional risks of not forgiving?  The following is a complete list of episodes in this series:  What is the definition of forgiveness?  What are the benefits of forgiveness?What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?Is forgiveness just about religion? What is it to work the “forgiveness muscle?”What are some of the criticisms of the idea of forgiveness?Why is an “eye for an eye” not the best way?If I forgive, I'm afraid I'll forget OR if I forgive, I'm afraid I won't forget.Why is forgiveness better than a neutral attitude toward the wrongdoer?Isn't forgiveness unhealthy repression?Do I forgive if the person continues to hurt me?Should I forgive immediately or should I take some time first?What if multiple people have hurt you, how do you decide who to forgive first? How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?How often should one forgive?  Can forgiveness and justice happen together?  What are the physical and emotional risks of not forgiving? Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the 15th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. This episode answers the question:  How often should one forgive?  The following is a list of the other episodes in the series:  What is the definition of forgiveness?  What are the benefits of forgiveness?What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?Is forgiveness just about religion? What is it to work the “forgiveness muscle?”What are some of the criticisms of the idea of forgiveness?Why is an “eye for an eye” not the best way?If I forgive, I'm afraid I'll forget OR if I forgive, I'm afraid I won't forget.Why is forgiveness better than a neutral attitude toward the wrongdoer?Isn't forgiveness unhealthy repression?Do I forgive if the person continues to hurt me?Should I forgive immediately or should I take some time first?What if multiple people have hurt you, how do you decide who to forgive first? How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?How often should one forgive?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the 14th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.    This episode answers the question:  How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?     Stay tuned for the 15th episode:  How often should one forgive?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the 13th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the 14th episode:  How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the 12th of a 17 part series of super brief stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the 13th episode:  What if multiple people have hurt you, how do you decide who to forgive first?Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

When someone wrongs, hurts, or violates us, we get angry. If we hold on to that anger and resentment it can fester, leading to increased stress, negative emotions, poorer mental health, a weakened immune system, and higher blood pressure. But how can you get past the anger so you can get on with your life? According to podcast guest, Dr. Robert Enright, the answer is forgiveness.  Dr. Enright is a licensed psychologist, and founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, a non-profit organization dedicated to disseminating knowledge about forgiveness and community renewal through forgiveness. Through his decades of research, he's found that forgiveness is a literal cure for trauma to the heart. For show notes and links mentioned, visit: https://bit.ly/GTIPodcastNotes To sign up for 2 Tip Tuesday, visit: https://bit.ly/2TipTuesday 2 Tip Tuesday is a weekly email that break down podcast episodes into practical resilience tips you can put into action straight away.  

This is one of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each stand-alone show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the 12th episode as Dr. Robert Enright answers this question: Should I forgive immediately or should I take some time first?Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the tenth of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the 11th episode as Dr. Robert Enright answers this question:  Do I forgive if the person continues to hurt me?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Hour 3 of The Drew Mariani Show from 5-27-22 replayed 12-30-22 Dr. Robert Enright, a specialist on forgiveness, dives into the topic of difficult relationships - especially those involving anger

This is the ninth of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the tenth episode as Dr. Robert Enright answers this question:  Isn't forgiveness just unhealthy repression?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the eighth of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the ninth episode:  Why is forgiveness better than a neutral attitude toward the wrongdoer?   Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the seventh of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the eighth episode, which answers the question:  If I forgive, I'm afraid I'll forget OR if I forgive, I'm afraid I won't forget. . . Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the sixth of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. Stay tuned for the seventh episode, which answer the question:  Why is "an eye for an eye" not the right way?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the fifth of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.    In this show you will learn about how resentment has physical effects on the body!  Stay tuned for the sixth episode, which answer the question:  What are some of the criticisms of the idea of forgiving?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Find this show wherever you find your podcasts!  Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This is the fourth of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.    Stay tuned for the fifth episode, which answer the question:  What is it to work the forgiveness muscle?     In this episode learn about the wonderful concept of "bearing the pain."  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Find this show wherever you find your podcasts!  Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

I'm excited to share the third of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.   The following brief episode answers the question:   What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?    Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Find this show wherever you find your podcasts!  Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

I'm excited to share the second of a 17 part series of super brief podcasts on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.   The following brief episode answers the question:   What are the benefits of forgiveness?  (What's in it for the person forgiving?)  Stay tuned for the third question, which answer the question:  What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Find this show wherever you find your podcasts!  Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Is there someone from your life that you need to forgive? The following super brief episode is one of a  17 part series on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, Dr. Alexandra asks just one new question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.  The following brief (five minute) episode answers the question:  What is the definition of forgiveness?   Stay tuned for the next brief episode, which answers:  What are the benefits of forgiveness?  (What's in it for the person forgiving?)  Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    Would you like to be sent an article on how to forgive when someone has been unfaithful? E-mail dralexandra@psychologyamerica.com and in the subject line write “forgiveness article.”   Support the showThis show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

This week I'm joined by Dr. Robert Enright, a pioneering force in the scientific study of forgiveness and a professor in educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin Madison. Over the last nearly 40 years, he and his colleagues have developed a pathway to forgiveness that has helped people who have endured severe personal and societal trauma. His recent work has been focused on bringing forgiveness programs to children so that they can apply these principles more easily as adults. Today we'll talk about what exactly forgiveness is and what it is not, how we go about forgiving even the most severe injustices, and what happens to us in our bodies and in our minds when we do. With Dr. Enright's help, we'll bring the healing power of forgiveness to the front of the conversation, where it needs to be.

In this episode, David & Robert discuss how they have successfully marketed their books, what hasn't gone well along the way and what they hope to achieve in the future. The special guest in the Seven Questions hot seat is our very own Robert Enright…this should be fun! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Weekly open and frank discussions with two independent bestselling authors as they navigate their indie author careers.International Best-Selling indie authors, David B. Lyons & Robert Enright have in-depth discussions about hot topics within the world of self-publishing, struggles and solutions to being a successful independent author, as well as interviews with industry experts and other indie authors in a fun and interactive magazine-style podcast format each week.Two Indie Authors is the most engaging publishing podcast out there and is a must-have companion for anybody navigating the rocky road of independent authoring. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Think for a second about the last time you forgave someone. Was it hard? How did it make you feel? Or what about the person you forgave?   Next time on The Facing Project, J.R. Jamison shares the stories of two women — one who forgave the man who paralyzed her son in a car accident, and another who forgave her once absent mother and abusive brother. Later, he is joined by Dr. Robert Enright, who was named by TIME magazine as the leading researcher on the psychology behind forgiveness.  Stories included in this episode – Stopping to Forgive Greg Zgunda's story as told to Stephanie Fisher by his mother, Beverly Zgunda, from Facing Disabilities in East Central Indiana. Performed by Katy Wolfe. What I Know About Me An anonymous story as told to Bev Nye from Facing Poverty in McPherson, Kansas. Performed by Tiffany Erk.

Encore: Forgiveness is really for the benefit of the person injured. So many people suffer for many years from their anger at those who hurt them. Dick's guest, UW professor Dr. Robert Enright is the author of seven books on forgiveness and the founder and director of the International Forgiveness Institute, Inc.

Encore: Forgiveness is really for the benefit of the person injured. So many people suffer for many years from their anger at those who hurt them. Dick's guest, UW professor Dr. Robert Enright is the author of seven books on forgiveness and the founder and director of the International Forgiveness Institute, Inc.

Hour 3 of The Drew Mariani Show on 5-27-22 Dr. Robert Enright, a specialist on forgiveness, dives into the topic of difficult relationships - especially those involving anger

In this episode I speak with Dr. Enright, the worlds leader on the topic of Forgiveness.  We speak about all aspects of forgiveness and how it ultimately is the best way to heal.https://www.risingphoenixpodcast.com/https://internationalforgiveness.com/Support the Show - https://ko-fi.com/risingphoenixpodcast

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are laying our cards on the table and summoning the courage to ask, offer, and receive forgiveness. It might sound simple but far from it. Guaranteed you've got some sort of shame or guilt stowing away in the baggage you've been dragging around for decades. Maybe you haven't come to terms with it or you've convinced yourself with faulty justification just to get by, but it's there. Well today, with your permission, we are going to unpack it with the attempts to sort it out. Forgiveness is multifaceted which is why we are looking at the concept from multiple angles. Asking for it when needed, learning to forgive yourself, extending that offer to others, and then benefiting from receiving said forgiveness. All equals freedom in one form or the other. First, you have to be open and willing to accept responsibility for your own actions and be self-aware enough to realize what you are holding on to or refusing to ask for, could be making all the difference.  I'm not one to hold a grudge. Primarily because I hate tension, literally loath confrontation. I also don't like to be in a bad mood. I'm not a brooder, a worrywart, or a nervous Nelly. I love calm consistent joy with a sprinkling of anticipation and a dash of drive. That's where I feel most comfortable. Because of that, I do what it takes to get over it…for the most part.  Where I struggle most is with self-forgiveness. Most of us tend to hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we do others so with that comes harsh judgment and an unwillingness to forget let alone forgive. What does that look like on a face? Maybe nothing if you are good at hiding your deepest feelings. This means a sunny disposition can be hiding a darker storm so just be aware. You can not judge a person by what you see. We all have had trials and tribulations throughout our lives which are far from over. You might be good at compartmentalizing but others may not. So our reactions and how we work through each incident of struggle and strife make the way for what lies ahead.  Why is self-forgiveness so hard? Why are we so quick to let someone else off the hook; to swiftly lower their expectations but our own are kept to the highest standards with no second chances? I don't know. Have you ever asked yourself that? Have you ever had an in-depth conversation through a personal deep dive on yourself?  Dr. Stephen Marmer enlightens us with more about Forgiveness found at PragerU.com Eight Keys to Forgiveness Forgiveness can be incredibly difficult. Robert Enright explains where to start in his article for greatergood.com The Mayo Clinic shares: Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness Kendra Cherry leads the way with Taking the Steps to Forgive Yourself in her article for verywellmind.com   CHALLENGE: let go of resentment and lower your defenses. Be willing to re-examine your role, forgive yourself for the part you played, offer the same to others, and receive the freedom to move forward. You hold the key!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

Summary:  Join us as we review how philosophers and modern secular psychologists understand mental health and well-being.  In this episode, we look at the attempts to define what make us happy, from the 4th century BC to the present day.  Arristipus, Aristotle, Descartes, Freud, Seligman, Porges, Schwartz, and two diagnostic systems.  We take a special look at how positive psychology and Internal Family Systems see well-being.   Lead in  In  June of 1991 I was really traumatized Just left a spiritually and psychologically abusive group and I was struggling  How could this have happened  I thought I was giving my life to God -- and then I find out the community I was in was like this --  Had to confront my own behaviors in the community -- manipulation, deception, betrayals of trust -- things like that.   I knew I had to recover.  And so I went on a quest  I was still Catholic, I never lost my faith, but I felt really burned by the Catholic Church  I wanted to learn everything I could about social influence, about group dynamics, about psychological manipulation -- in part so what happened before would never happen again, and also to tap into wisdom that I didn't have access to in my very sheltered community.  In short, I was on a quest to find out the best of what secular psychology had to offer.   I would have gone to a Catholic Graduate  What I was looking for  What I found   Introduction Question may arise, "Why Dr. Peter, since you are a Catholic psychologist, why are you even looking at these secular sources? Why even bother with them?  Don't we have everything we need in Scripture, in the traditions of the Church, in the writings of the Church Fathers and the saints, and in magisterial teaching?  I thought this was a Catholic podcast here.   Let me ask you question in return then -- Let's say you're experiencing serious physical symptoms -- something is wrong medically.  You have intense abdominal pain, right around your navel, your belly is starting to swell, you have a low-grade fever, you've lost your appetite and you're nauseous and you have diarrhea.  How would you react if I were to say to you: "Why are you considering consulting secular medical experts?  What need have you of doctors and a hospital?  Don't you have everything you need in Scripture, in the traditions of the Church, in the writings of the Church Fathers and the saints, and in magisterial teaching?   If I responded to you like that, you might think I'm a crackpot or that I believe in faith healing alone or that I just don't get what you are experiencing. Those are the symptoms of an appendicitis, and that infected appendix could burst 48-72 hours after your first symptoms.  If that happens, bacteria spread infection throughout your abdomen, and that is potentially life-threatening.  You would need surgery to remove the appendix and clean out your abdomen.   Remember that we are embodied beings -- we are composites of a soul and a body. The 17th Century Philosopher Rene Descartes' gave us a lot of great things, including analytic geometry,  but he was wrong splitting the body from the mind in his dualism.   Descartes' mind-body dualism, the idea that the body and the mind operate in separate spheres, and neither can be assimilated into the other which has been so influential in our modern era. In the last several years we are realizing just how much of our mental life and our psychological well-being is linked in various ways to our neurobiology -- the ways that our nervous systems function.  And the relationship between our embodied brain and our minds is reciprocal -- each affects the other in complex ways that we are just beginning to understand.  In other words, brain chemistry affects our emotional states.  And our emotional states and our behaviors affect brain chemistry.  It's not just our minds and it's not just our bodies and it's not just our souls -- it's all of those, all of what makes me who I am, body, mind, soul, spirit, all of it.   And since Scripture, the Early Church Fathers, the Catechism and so on are silent on neurobiology, neurochemistry, neurophysiology and so many other areas that impact our minds and our well-being, as a Catholic psychologist I am going to look elsewhere, I'm going to look into secular sources.  I just don't think it's reasonable to expect the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops or the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in the Vatican to be experts in these areas -- it's not their calling.  I just don't think anyone is going to find an effective treatment for bulimia by consulting the writings of the Early Church Fathers or in St. Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologica.  That is unreasonable .  And it's just as unreasonable, in my opinion, to ignore the body and just try to work with the mind.   I also believe that God works through non-Catholics in many ways -- many non-Catholic researchers and clinicians and theorists are using the light of natural reason to discover important realities that help us understanding well-being, and they are inspired to seek what can be known with good motivations, with good hearts and sharp minds to help and love others.   I am a Catholic with upper-case C, a big C and I am catholic with a lower-case C -- a little C.  Catholic with a little C.  According to my Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus, Third Edition, which I rely on for wordfinding, according to this thesaurus, the synonyms for Catholic with a small c include the following terms:  universal, diverse, broad-based, eclectic, comprehensive, all-encompassing, all-embracing and all-inclusive.  That's what catholic with a small c means.  So I am Catholic with a big C and catholic with a small c.   And a final point about why I look to secular sources -- The Church herself encourages us to look to all branches of knowledge and glean what is best from them.   From the CCC, paragraph 159  "Though faith is above reason, there can never be any real discrepancy between faith and reason. Since the same God who reveals mysteries and infuses faith has bestowed the light of reason on the human mind, God cannot deny himself, nor can truth ever contradict truth." "Consequently, methodical research in all branches of knowledge, provided it is carried out in a truly scientific manner and does not override moral laws, can never conflict with the faith, because the things of the world and the things of faith derive from the same God. The humble and persevering investigator of the secrets of nature is being led, as it were, by the hand of God in spite of himself, for it is God, the conserver of all things, who made them what they are." And from the Vatican II document, the Pastoral Constitution of the Church in the Modern World, paragraph 62 reads:  In pastoral care, sufficient use must be made not only of theological principles, but also of the findings of the secular sciences, especially of psychology and sociology, so that the faithful may be brought to a more adequate and mature life of faith. Finally, I will say that considering the whole person -- Soul, spirit, mind and body -- all of the person is so much more helpful in the process of recovery that just splitting off the mind and working with it alone, or just trying to work with the mind and the soul but not the body.  So there are pragmatic considerations, practical aspects to this.  I like to practice psychology in ways that actually work.  The fruit that comes from considering the body and working with the body as well the mind and soul is just so much better.  And so we want to work in an integrative way.  That what this podcast Interior Integration for Catholics is all about -- this is episode 90 released on March 7. 2022, titled Your Well-Being:  The Secular Experts Speak and I am  I am clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski, your host and companion today, and also president and Co-Founder of Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com -- our mission in Souls and Hearts is to bring the best of psychology and human formation grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person to help wounded Catholics rise above our psychological issues and human formation problems which hold us back from embracing love from Jesus, the Holy Spirit, God our Father and Mary our Mother and loving them back with our whole souls and hearts, with all our parts.    Secular Sources The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5 -- DSM-5 for short.   From the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the DSM-5 The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook used by health care professionals in the United States and much of the world as the authoritative guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders. DSM contains descriptions, symptoms, and other criteria for diagnosing mental disorders. It provides a common language for clinicians to communicate about their patients and establishes consistent and reliable diagnoses that can be used in the research of mental disorders. It also provides a common language for researchers to study the criteria for potential future revisions and to aid in the development of medications and other interventions. So you would think, given that glowing description of its prowess and authority that it would tell us what psychological well-being is, it would let us know what mental health is.  But if you thought that, you'd be wrong.   Nowhere in the nearly 1000 pages of this tome is there are definition.  You can't find it.  No definition of mental health or psychological wellbeing.  You get a definition of mental disorder and a couple of descriptions of what is not a mental disorder.  This is a quote from page 20.   Definition of a mental disorder:  A mental disorder is a syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress in social, occupational, or other important activities. An expectable or culturally approved response to a common stressor or loss, such as the death of a loved one, is not a mental disorder. Socially deviant behavior (e.g., political, religious, or sexual) and conflicts that are primarily between the individual and society are not mental disorders unless the deviance or conflict results from a dysfunction in the individual, as described above. But no definition of what optimal functioning, or happiness or well-being or psychological health would look like.  That's a real problem.  How are we supposed to know what psychological disorder is when we don't know what psychological health should entail? Canadian Blogger, author and Christian pastor Tim Challies published a blog titled "Counterfeit Detection" in which he describes how Canadian federal agents are trained to detect counterfeit bills -- they first get very familiar with the real money.  Real bills.  Those Canadian follow what John MacArthur wrote in his book Reckless Faith. "Federal agents don't learn to spot counterfeit money by studying the counterfeits. They study genuine bills until they master the look of the real thing. Then when they see the bogus money they recognize it."  Only then are they equipped to spot the forgeries.   So we need a standard, we need to know what well-being looks like so we can use it as a reference point for contrasting anything which is out of order in our psyches.  We're not going to get that reference point from the DSM-5, so let's turn to history.  Let's go back in time to the philosophers of ancient Greece who wrote about well-being and start there.  Let's see if we can find out from our secular sources what the good life is.  What psychological well-being is, what mental health is.    Hedonic wellbeing -- basically this is about feeling good:     Aristippus, a Greek philosopher in the fourth century BC argued that the primary and ultimate goal in life should be to maximize pleasure.  English philosophers  Thomas Hobbes 17th century and Jeremy Bentham in the 18th century, crossing into the 19th century also embraced Hedonic well being.   Definition:  Hedonic wellbeing "focuses on happiness and defines well-being in terms of pleasure attainment and pain avoidance” Ryan and Deci, 2001 On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology How much pleasure can I get?  How much pain can I avoid -- Hedonic wellbeing.  Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy The term “hedonism,” from the Greek word ἡδονή (hēdonē) for pleasure, refers to several related theories about what is good for us, how we should behave, and what motivates us to behave in the way that we do. All hedonistic theories identify pleasure and pain as the only important elements of whatever phenomena they are designed to describe.   Back to Ryan and Deci “the predominant view among hedonic psychologists is that well-being consists of subjective happiness and concerns the experience of pleasure versus displeasure broadly construed to include all judgments about the good/bad elements of life. Happiness is thus not reducible to physical hedonism, for it can be derived from attainment of goals or valued outcomes in varied realms  Ryan and Deci, 2001 On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology Summary statement:  Hedonic well-being -- maximize the pleasure, minimize the pain.   And that makes sense to us -- we all have some innate attraction to pleasure and some innate avoidance of pain.   Eudaimonic wellbeing "producing happiness," 1856, from Greek eudaimonikos "conducive to happiness," from eudaimonia "happiness," from eu "good" (see eu-) + daimōn "guardian, genius" (see daimon).  In contrast to hedonic wellbeing's focus on pleasure, we have eudaimonic well-being, which focuses on meaning and purpose in life.   Trace this back to Aristotle also in the 4th Century BC, contemporary of Aristippus.  Aristotle argued, especially in his Nichomachean Ethics -- Aristotle argued that the best things are the ones who perform their function to the highest degree.  My son John Malinoski used this example in his senior thesis for Wyoming Catholic college. His thesis was titled Into the Jung-le: Exploring How Modern Psychological Methodology Relates to and Transforms the Classical Understanding of Man's Psyche  and it has this passage which precisely describes how Aristotle saw well-being, using an illustrative  example of a squirrel and then describing what well-being is for us as human persons:   Aristotle begins his quest for the happy man with one of these endoxa: the generally held, plausible truth that the best things are the ones who perform their function to the highest degree. It seems self-evident that we would judge the worth of a squirrel based on how fast that squirrel can run, how high it can leap, or how much food it can find. In other words, the best squirrel is the one that best fulfills its squirrel nature. Correspondingly, the best man must be the man who excels at being a man; he performs the functions of man to the highest degree. While man has many functions which he shares in common with plants and animals--life, growth, sensation, and so on--he has one particular ability which is unique to him: the ability to reason. Since this higher faculty distinguishes and elevates man above the lesser beings below him, Aristotle claims that it must be the most important aspect of his soul, the characteristic function of man: “We posit the work of a human being as a certain life, and this is an activity of soul and actions accompanied by reason.”6 Since “each thing is brought to completion well in accord with the work proper to it,” it follows that “the human good becomes an activity of the soul in accord with virtue, and if there are several virtues, then in accord with the best and most complete one.”7  This is Aristotle's brief summation of the human good, or happiness. In short, the truly virtuous man has ordered his soul to the fullest extent: not only are all his actions ordered towards reason and the good, but all his inclinations point him toward these properly ordered actions as well. Gale and colleagues 2009 article in the Journal of Personality  The eudaimonic perspective of wellbeing – based on Aristotle's view that true happiness comes from doing what is worth doing – focuses on meaning and self-realization, and defines wellbeing largely in terms of ways of thought and behavior that provide fulfillment. Freud Let's fast forward 2400 years now to Freud.  From the 4th century BC to the 20th Century AD.  To Freud  A lot of people believe that Freud was really a hedonist -- in part because of his pleasure principle.  In Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personality, the pleasure principle is that driving impulse of the id -- the id is the most basic, primitive part of the personality driven by instincts, mostly buried deep in the unconscious.  The pleasure principle describes how the id seeks immediate gratification of all its needs, wants, and urges, seeking with force to satiate hunger, quench thirst, discharge anger, and experience sexual pleasure.   "To Love and to Work" -- summarizing in one pithy statement what a healthy man or woman should be able to do well.   “Love and work…work and love, that's all there is…love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” -- Civilization and its Discontents  Play:  Freud believed and taught that play was important -- play is a creative activity, play is an adaptive activity, and play is also a therapeutic activity because play generates pleasure through the release of  tension.  Summarize Freud's position on happiness -- the ability to Love, work and play.   Freud in his 1895 book "Studies on Hysteria" coauthored with Josef Breuer.  But you will see for yourself that much has been gained if we succeed in turning your hysterical misery into common unhappiness. With a mental life that has been restored to health, you will be better armed against that unhappiness.” Freud did not promise that his psychoanalytic method would remove "common unhappiness."  He taught that psychoanalysis had its limits.   Which leads us to fast forward 100 years to the late 1990's and the advent of Positive Psychology, which is not satisfied by just accepting common unhappiness.  Positive psychology posits that we can do something about that common unhappiness and make it better -- so it is more ambitious in its goals and promises than Freud ever was.   Positive Psychology:   Definitions:   Peterson 2008  “Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living”  positive psychology is a scientific approach to studying human thoughts, feelings, and behavior, with a focus on strengths instead of weaknesses, building the good in life instead of repairing the bad, and taking the lives of average people up to “great” instead of focusing solely on moving those who are struggling up to “normal”  the scientific study of positive human functioning and flourishing  -- flourishing really is the focus of positive psychology, it's a critical word.  And there's a focus on flourishing in three primary domains.   Flourishing  intrapersonally -- which means within one's own person, within one's own being -- intrapersonally (e.g. biologically, emotionally, cognitively) Flourishing interpersonally (e.g. relationally), in our personal relationships And flourishing collectively (e.g. institutionally, culturally and globally) -- in our culture and society -- flourishing collectively So flourishing is the key word, and the focus is on flourishing intrapersonally, interpersonally, and collectively So what makes the good life according to positive psychologists, according to Martin Seligman? Seligman in his 2002 book Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment details four different forms of what he calls "the good life."  Four different forms or ways of living well, four kinds of well-being.    These are the 1) the pleasant life; 2) a good life; 3) a meaningful life; and 4) a full life.  Repeat them.   We'll go through each one of these starting with the pleasant life.   The pleasant life: according to Martin Seligman, the pleasant life is a simple life, he says "a life that successfully pursues the positive emotions about the present, past and future"  He elaborates, "The pleasant life is wrapped up in the successful pursuit of the positive feelings, supplemented by the skills of amplifying those emotions."  This takes us back to the hedonic wellbeing we discussed earlier, as originally posited by Aristippus, our Greek philosopher in the fourth century BC.  All about the pursuit of good feelings, maximizing positive emotions.  The good life: The good life, according to positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman means  "using your signature strengths to obtain abundant gratification in the main realms of one's life"  So in this good life, you are able to use your particular talents and unique skills, your special strengths, being true to your own character, being true to your values and virtues, so this sense of "authenticity" is very important in the good life.  So we have the pleasant life, all about positive emotions; and now the good life, in which you have abundant gratification by you doing you, by you being authentic through using your signature qualities in in the world.  The good life is not a permanent state -- we are not always going to be able to use our special talents and qualities in a way that is gratifying to us -- rather, the good life has to be a process of ongoing growth, a process of development.  It's all about continuing to grow.   Then we have the  meaningful life, that's the third form, the meaningful life.  Seligman describes this as "using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are" In this way of living well, you have a strong bond to "something larger than yourself."  In this way of well-being, it's up to each individual what that "something larger than yourself" is going to be.  So at this point we've covered three of the four kinds of well-being:  we have the pleasant life, all about maximizing your pleasant emotions, we have the good life, which is all about using your signature strength and virtues to be gratified, and we have the third form, the meaningful life, in which we use our signature strengths and virtues in the service of something larger than us.  This level of well-being brings us back to Aristotle and his eudaimonic well-being, which focuses on pursuing meaning and purpose in life.   That leaves us with the fourth way, the full life.  Seligman describes the full life as follows: «Finally, a full life consists in experiencing positive emotions about the past and future, savoring positive feelings from pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from your signature strengths, and using these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning»  So what is added to the first three ways of well-being in this last way, the fourth way, the full life is the concept of service.  Here's where he starts to sound a little like Bob Dylan's 1979 song "Gotta Serve Somebody."  In the full life, a  man uses his strengths and abilities in the most optimized way to serve something larger than himself." In the full life, a woman gets outside herself and brings her talents and virtues to serve a greater good in a way that shines.  The full life reflects optimal human functioning.  Seligman thus is very Aristotleian in how  he argues that a person has the best experience of life, the greatest sense of well-being when that person is functioning  optimally, bringing all the particular talents, skills, strengths and virtues to bear in the services of the greater good.  Effort to refocus psychology on wholeness and wellness -- not on illness or disorder or weaknesses or problems Focus on positive aspects A to Z list from Chapter 2 of the book Well-Being, Recovery, and Mental Health by Lindsay Oades and Lara Mossman:  altruism, accomplishment, appreciation of beauty and excellence, authenticity, best possible selves, character strengths, coaching, compassion, courage, coping, creativity, curiosity, emotional intelligence, empathy, flow, forgiveness, goal setting, gratitude, grit, happiness, hope, humor, kindness, leadership, love, meaning, meditation, mindfulness, motivation, optimism, performance, perseverance, positive emotions, positive relationships, post-traumatic growth, psychological capital, purpose, resilience, savoring, self-efficacy, self-regulation, spirituality, the good life, virtues, wisdom and zest.  Origin of Positive Psychology is often attributed to Abraham Maslow's 1954 book "Motivation and Personality."   Really took off in the late 1990's when positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman became president of the American Psychological Society and was able to effectively popularize positive psychology Increase human strength -- make people more "productive"  Nurturing of genius and fostering greater human potential  Calling for research on human strength and virtue.   How do human being flourish at the individual level, the community level, and at the societal level?   Emphasis on Different interventions that have been found to improve levels of happiness and well-being.   Best possible self -- writing about yourself at your best, remembering yourself at your best Working on forgiveness -- I find this really interesting that forgiveness  -- Robert Enright has done a lot of research in this area, with a focus on letting go of anger, resentment and bitterness toward those who have caused me pain. Getting a more balanced view of the offender  Reducing negative feelings toward the offender and possibly increasing compassion  Relinquishing the right to punish the offender or demand restitution.     Increasing gratitude -- finding things to be thankful for, reflecting on blessings, expressing gratitude in a variety of ways -- Gratitude is the expression of appreciate for what I have.  Research shows many positive psychological benefits to deliberately practicing gratitude Fostering optimism -- the tendency to anticipate favorable outcomes.  Things are going to work out.  The glass is half full.  The idea is that optimism can be learned.  It can be practiced and developed and when it is, people feel better.   Cultivating Mindfulness the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment“ (Kabat-Zinn, Reference Kabat-Zinn2003, p. 2) Listening to uplifting music Positive Psychotherapy Savoring (savoring can be past-focused (reminiscing about positive experiences), present-focused (savoring the moment) or future-focused (anticipating positive experiences yet to come) (Smith et al., 2014) Self-compassionate writing -- being gentle with yourself in your journal PDM 2 -- Now completely revised (over 90% new), this is the authoritative diagnostic manual grounded in psychodynamic clinical models and theories. Explicitly oriented toward case formulation and treatment planning, PDM-2 offers practitioners an empirically based, clinically useful alternative or supplement to DSM and ICD categorical diagnoses.  A clinically useful classification of mental disorders must begin with a concept of healthy psychology. Mental health is more than simply the absence of symptoms. Just as healthy cardiac functioning cannot be defined as an absence of chest pain, healthy mental functioning is more than the absence of observable symptoms of psychopathology. p.3 Three major axes: Personality Organization, Mental Functioning, and Symptom Patterns Personality Organization P Axis What level of personality organization does the person have?   4 major categories -- psychotic, borderline, neurotic, and healthy.   What style personality or pattern does one have -- e.g. depressive, hypomanic, masochistic, dependent, anxious-avoidant (aka phobic), obsessive-compulsive, schizoid, somatizing, hysteric/histrionic, narcissistic, paranoid, psychopathic, sadistic, and borderline.  You've got one of these styles.   Mental Functioning -- overall description of mental functioning -- the capacities involved in psychological health or pathology -- looking at the inner mental life of the person Symptom Patterns -- S axis -- looks at emotional states, cognitive processes, bodily experiences, and relational patterns -- looks at the person's personal experience of his or her difficulties Psychodiagnostic Chart-2 by Robert Gordon and Robert Bornstein -- downloadable Use   Breaking it down Personality Organization P Axis -- What level of personality organization does the person have.  4 major categories -- psychotic, borderline, neurotic, and healthy.  What style personality or pattern does one have -- e.g. depressive, hypomanic, masochistic, dependent, anxious-avoidant (aka phobic), obsessive-compulsive, schizoid, somatizing, hysteric/histrionic, narcissistic, paranoid, psychopathic, sadistic, and borderline.  You've got one of these styles.   To be able to understand oneself in complex, stable, and accurate ways To maintain intimate, stable, and satisfying relationships To use more healthy defenses and copings strategies -- anticipation, self-assertion, sublimation, suppression, altruism and humor To appreciate, if not necessarily conform to, conventional notions of what is realistic Life problems rarely get out of hand There is enough flexibility to accommodate to challenging realities Mental Functioning M axis  Cognitive processes capacity to regulate thinking, attention, learning  Capacity to communicate one's thoughts to others   Emotional processes to be able to experience a full range of emotions  To regulate emotions well  To understand one's own emotions  To be able to communicate one's emotions   Identity -- deals with the question, who am I? Capacity for differentiation -- a solid sense of being psychological separate from others -- not fused, or enmeshed or co-dependent  Regulation of self-esteem  Awareness of internal experience   Relationships Capacity for relationships  Capacity for intimacy   Defenses and coping Impulse control -- regulation of impulses   Defensive functioning -- able to use effective coping strategies e.g. extreme denial  vs. humor   Adaptation -- this is a state, reflecting how an individual deals with specific stressors going on in life right now  Resilience -- this is a trait -- general ability  Check out episodes 20, 21, 22, and 23 of this podcast for a four part series on resilience American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress— such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means "bouncing back" from difficult experiences.”  So resilience is a trait.  Strength   Self-awareness Self-observing capacities -- psychological mindfulness  Self-direction   Capacity to construct and use internal standards and ideal A sense of meaning and purpose in life   Symptom patterns -- S Axis the severity of psychological symptoms   Polyvagal theory -- we spent the last episode, episode 89 titled "Your Body, Your Trauma: Protection vs. Connection discussing Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory.   Deb Dana: Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection The ventral vagal system truly powers the journey to well-being Now remember, the ventral vagal system corresponds to  the ventral branch of the vagal nerve-- and the ventral vagal system serves the social engagement system -- remember -- that's the relational connection system. The ventral vagal nerve dampens the body's regularly active state. The ventral vagal nerve allows activation of the autonomic nervous system in a nuanced way, thus offering a different quality than sympathetic activation -- that's how you can being excited and celebrate your favorite sports team score again against their rivals without becoming overwhelmed by a fight or flight response.  What is it like to be in a ventral vagal state?  It's a positive state -- it's not just the absence of being in sympathetic hyperarousal when you are in fight or flight.  It's also not just the absence of being in a dorsal vagal hypoarousal shutdown or freeze state.  It's more than just those two systems being downregulated.  It's the ventral vagal system being activated.  It's an active state with these properties  Physical responses Reduced heart rate  Steady breathing  Relaxed digestion  Rest and recuperation  Vitality  Circulation to extremities  Stress reduction   Psychological responses A sense of calm  A sense of safety  Feeling grounded  Joy  Mindfulness  An ability to be very much in the present moment   Relational responses Desire for connection with others.  A genuine interest in others  Openness and receptivity in relationship  Acceptance and embracing of vulnerability   Empathy and compassion for others Oxytocin is released that stimulates social bonding  Ability to related and to connect with others without anxiety   This state changes the way we look and sound to others -- the tone and rhythm of your voice is more inviting   Story -- I'm in a good place, I can be loved and love, I can connect with others, there is good in the world.  Live is so worth living, and I want to share joy and peace and even sorrow and challenges with other people.   So polyvagal theory is going to focus specifically on the regulation of your nervous system in assessing your well-being.  The more you can be in a ventral vagal state, whether you are resting or excited, the better.  So for those therapists who use polyvagal theory, there is a focus on resetting the autonomic nervous system, helping us in a bodily way to get back to a ventral vagal state.  And we contrast that to the sympathetic fight or flight response and the dorsal vagal shutdown response.   Danger activates the sympathetic system, we are all about survival now  Physical responses Body is mobilized for action.  Ready to run / Efforts to escape  Hypervigilance -- body goes on high alert, pupils dilating, letting more light  Very high levels of energy in this state, adrenaline rush  Muscles get tense  Blood pressure rises  Heart rate accelerates  Adrenaline releases  Extra oxygen is circulated to vital organs  Digestion decreases  Immune response is suppressed   Psychological responses  Emotional Overwhelm usually worry moving to anxiety to fear to panic  Or frustration to irritation to anger to rage confrontational, aggressive   Scanning for threats  Capacity for complex, flexible reasoning is very much reduced -- leads to confusion  No sense of safety, you start missing signs of safety and misreading signs of safety   Relational responses Sense of separation, isolation from others-- cut off from others, no sense of relational connection anymore -- the connection is sacrificed in order to seek greater protection  Disconnection from self, others, world, disconnected spiritually.-- you can't see others, really, except through the lens of danger and safety   If we don't feel safe, there's no way we can provide a sense of safety to others.   Story: The world is unsafe and people are dangerous, unfriendly, scary, falling apart   When the mobilization doesn't bring a resolution to the distress -- then the ANS takes the final step, and shoots the last arrow it has in its quiver.  This is the freeze response. When there is a deep sense that my life is threatened and the sympathetic activation doesn't resolve the perceived threat, then the dorsal vagal system kicks in.  That's the freeze response, that's the collapse into "dorsal vagal lifelessness"  Physical response Heart rate decreases, slows way down  Blood pressure drops  Body temperature decreases  Muscle tone relaxes  Breathing becomes shallow  Immune response drops  Pain threshold increases -- greater pain tolerance because of endorphin release that numbs pain.   Immobilization response -- appearing physically dead  Digestion and metabolism slows way down -- going into conservation mode, like hibernating until the life threat passes.   Psychological response Sense of helplessness  Depression, despondency, lethargy  Numbing out  Disconnection  Thinking become very foggy, fuzzy, unclear  Dissociation, Spacing out, feeling disconnect from the present, untethered, floating, derealization   Feeling trapped Preparing for death Feeling hopeless Shutting down and feeling psychologically inert, paralyzed Feeling a deep sense of shame Relational response Very isolated  Can't listen to others, don't notice them very well, because of how shut down and self-absorbed you are in this state  Can't share very well, difficulty with words  Very little agency  Can't focus   Story:  A story of despair.  I am unlovable, invisible, lost, alone, in desperate straits, about to die.   So polyvagal theory is going to focus specifically on the regulation of your nervous system in assessing your well-being.   According to polyvagal theory if we are in sympathetic arousal, the fight or flight mode, we are focused on the perceived dangers around us and we focus on self-protection.  This leads us to sacrifice connection with others.   If we are in the dorsal vagal shutdown, the freeze response, we hiding from the prospect of imminent death, shutting down into a conservation mode, hoping to survive the perceived imminent lethal danger by becoming immobile.   So for those therapists informed by polyvagal theory, there is a focus on resetting the autonomic nervous system, helping us in a bodily way to get back to a ventral vagal state, to leave the dorsal vagal shutdown state, to leave the sympathetic fight-or-flight state and get back to a peaceful bodily state.  These therapists start with the body, not so much the mind.   Internal Family Systems or IFS-- developed by Richard Schwartz, described in the first edition of Internal Family System Therapy which was published in 1995  IFS brings systems thinking inside -- it conceptualized the human person as a living system.  Richard Schwartz is a family therapist who was trained in family systems work.  He recognized that the inner life of a person mirrored family life, from a systems perspective.  But before we go much further, let's ask the question -- What is a system:  Definition from Ben Lutkevich at techtarget.com Systems thinking is a holistic approach to analysis that focuses on the way that a system's constituent parts interrelate and how systems work over time and within the context of larger systems. The systems thinking approach contrasts with traditional analysis, which studies systems by breaking them down into their separate elements.  Wellbeing according to IFS is when inner system of the person shows certain qualities Balance  -- the degree of influence that each member has in the system on decisions making is appropriate and that the boundaries are balanced and appropriate within the system.   Harmony -- an effort is made to find the role each member desires and and for which he is best suited.  Members of the system work together, cooperatively.  The harmony of the system allows each member to find and pursue his own vision while fitting that member's vision into the broader vision of the system as a whole.  There is cooperation and collaboration among the members of the system.   Leadership --One or more members of the system must have the ability and respect to do the following: Mediate polarizations  Facilitate the flow of information withing the system  Ensure that all members of the system are protected and cared for and that they feel valued and encouraged to pursue their individual vision within the limits of the system's needs  Allocate resources, responsibilities, and influence fairly  Provide a broad perspective and vision for the system as a whole  Represent the system in interaction with other systems  And interpret feedback from other systems honestly   Development -- the members of the system and the system itself can grow -- developing the skills and relationships needed to carry out the vision of the system.   IFS model of the person Person is composed of a body, plus his parts, plus his self -- that's the internal system of a person -- body, parts, and self  This will be a review for many of you who listen to the podcast   Self:  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader, with a deep sense of recollection on the natural level.  You can also experience being in self as an expansive state of mind   We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's -- this is the ideal state Calm  -agitation, frustration, anxious, stressed, angry   Curiosity -- indifferent, disinterested, seeing other parts and seeing other people in two dimensions, one dimension, or no dimensions -- Episode 72 -Y- nuanced vs. reductionistic understandings of ourselves and others.   Compassion -- cold, uncaring, unfriendly, hard, reserved, unsympathetic Confidence -- timid, pessimistic, doubtful and insecure Courage -- fearful, shy, faint-hearted, irresolute Clarity -- confused, muddled inside, things are obscured, dark inside, foggy, sees vague forms moving in a shadow world.   Connectedness  -- internal fragmentation, disjointed, distant, aloof Creativity  -- uninspired, inept, very conventional, repetitive futility, doing the same thing over and over again, with no different results Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   IFS has two states Unblended -- this is when one is in a state of self  Unburdened -- this is when our parts are freed from their burndens.   Interpersonal Neurobiology -- pioneered by Daniel Siegel  Definition -- Interpersonal Neurobiology is not a separate discipline -- it's not something that would have its own academic department within a university, for example.  Rather, it is an interdisciplinary framework -- and that means that Interpersonal Neurobiology or IPNB for short, draws from many different disciplines -- many different approaches that have their own individual and unique rigorous approaches to studying phenomena relevant to well-being.   I'm very into IPNB -- taking a Master Class with Daniel Siegel right now.   We're going to get into Interpersonal Neurobiology and it's views on mental health and well being in Episode 92 of this podcast Closing Weekly emails  Special bonus podcast will be coming to you on Friday, March 25, 2022 -- the feast of the Annunciation, with an exciting announcement, this is just an extra podcast about a major effort that we are involved in at Souls and Hearts.  Dr. Gerry Crete will be joining me to discuss this with you.  So tune in then for all the new happenings at Souls and Hearts  Catholic Therapists and Grad Students --  I will be doing a free Zoom webinar at from 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM Eastern time on Saturday March 26, 2022 on Internal Family Systems and loving your neighbor  -- it's all about how understanding myself and others from an IFS perspective can help us love each other  -- any Catholic therapist or grad student in a mental health field is free to attend.  Email Patty Ellenberger, our office manager at admin@soulsandhearts.com for a registration link.   Dr. Gerry's Catholic Journeymen Community has relaunched within Souls and Hearts.  Men -- you are welcome to join a group of faithful Catholic men seeking restoration, wholeness, and integrity in areas of sexuality and relationship with God, self, and others. Catholic Journeymen is a safe space for men to share burdens, receive support, and be nourished by a distinctive program combining behavioral health science and Catholic spirituality. Check that out at soulsandhearts.com/catholic-journeymen.   Conversation Hours You are a listener to this podcast, and in that sense, you are with me.  I am also with you!  Remember, can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern Time for our regular conversation hours.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Waiting list is open for The Resilient Catholics Community at Soulsandhearts.com/rcc for our June 2022  So much information there and videos.  Patron and Patroness      

Forgiveness has long been the province of morality, virtue, and religious values. Psychologically, forgiveness requires the capacity to hold both the magnitude of the injury and the humanity of the injurer. There are doable steps toward this goal, beginning with acknowledging and mourning the wrong yet forgoing retaliation. Righteousness and anger provide only illusory power and can be chronic and corrosive. Blame can thwart our ability to understand unconscious personal dynamics and prevent acceptance of universal human flaws and vulnerability. We can accept apology and remorse—especially if it has been accompanied by introspection and greater self-understanding. Forgiveness is less about the other than it is about liberation from victimization. Even when we can't solve a problem with another, we can increase our inner resources and enlarge our hearts.  Here's the dream we analyze: “I was a shepherd carrying a sheep that had been born, but it was obvious it was not going to live. I was taking it to a pond to drown it, to put it out of its misery—but I knew this was actually an act of love. The pond was in a Botticelli ‘Elysian field'-like environment, and most of the water of the pond was frozen over—so much, so a horse was slipping around on the surface. There were other birds and animals all around me, like a Botticelli painting.”  REFERENCES: Robert Karen. The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0385488742/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_51MKHP5J0RNCC401GZDN Edward Tick: Warrior's Return: Restoring the Soul After War. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1622032004/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_CXPVMY2VVQBS66JD3T52  Hannah Arendt. The Human Condition. https://www.amazon.com/dp/022658660X/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_JNEGRBZWC01ND6MCKY5X The Forgiveness Project. https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/ Robert Enright. The International Forgiveness Institute. https://internationalforgiveness.com/ Desmond Tutu. Truth and Reconciliation Commission. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Truth-and-Reconciliation-Commission-South-Africa RESOURCES: Learn to Analyze your own Dreams: https://thisjungianlife.com/enroll/

Total Surrender2 Corinthians 12:9 “but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (RSVCE)“Worrying does not take away tomorrow's problems, it takes away todays peace.”  Think about this for a moment.  If you really think about this you know it's true.  You know worrying doesn't change the outcome.  You can worry from know until the end of time and your worry still will not change what is going to happen.  I don't say this to discourage you.  There are things you can do to change what may or may not happen.  You are not hopeless or helpless in these situations.  Quite the opposite in fact. You are very powerful in difficult situations because you have God on your side.  It says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (RSVCE) This is God talking to St. Paul and He is talking to you too.  God's power is made perfect in your weakness.  Did you know that?  I am betting you didn't.  The reason that I bet you didn't know that is because the enemy doesn't want you to.  He wants you to feel like you are in this all alone.  So, if the power of God is made perfect in our weakness, why don't we feel this power?   Are you actually being weak?  Are you surrendering the worry over to God?  Are you asking Him for help?  Or, are you trying to stay strong and do it all yourself?  Are you not asking God for help because you think He is too busy, you don't think He would help, or maybe you don't think you deserve help?  God wants to help and is ready and willing to help, and also He is waiting for you to decide if you want His help or not.If you want to be strong and do everything on your own, God is going to give you that option.  He isn't going to force Himself on you.  He gave us free will and with that comes great responsibility.  God is asking us to invite Him into our lives and into our worry.  He is there in our lives, just waiting for us to give Him permission to help us, waiting for us to admit that we need Him.  We all need Him.  Sometimes the enemy puts the idea in our head that if we need God then we are weak.  There isn't a person alive that doesn't need God.  Even Jesus, who was fully God and fully human, asked God for help.  The reason I decided to talk about this today is because I have a friend of mine that experienced a miracle on Friday and it got me thinking about how much we all want to experience miracles and yet how we all get in out own way.  I am hoping that by giving you her example, as well as my own, you might be able to see how you are getting in your own way.  Of course we didn't intentionally get in our own way.  We thought we were doing what we were supposed to do.  We were doing all we could to save our families.  Isn't that what anyone would do?  This is a perfect example of the phrase hindsight is 20/20.  If we had known we were getting in the way we could have saved ourselves the heartache and surrendered sooner.  Let me explain.I was really struggling with my family.  My husband and I were fighting a lot and the boys were acting out a lot.  I did pray, and I asked God for help.  I prayed that He would fix it, that He would give us a miracle, that He would show me what to do.  Then, I read every book I could find on marriages and parenting.  I listened to every podcast and searched the internet for the answer to my problems.  I talked to every expert I could find.  I did all I could to fix this problem in my family.  Did you catch that last part?  I did all I could.  I asked God to fix it, and then I took the reigns back and tried to fix it on my own.  Why do we do that?  Why do we kill ourselves trying to solve things on our own.  God is made perfect in our weakness, why don't we let him take over?  Eventually I got tired or fighting, I got tired of doing all the research, I got tired of trying to solve it all on my own.  Eventually I turned to God and said, “I give up.  I can't do this anymore.  This is getting me no where.  Things have to change and they have to change now.  I need a break.  I need you to fix this.  I turn this completely over to you.  I trust that you have all or our best interests in mind.  You are a part of my covenant with Tony and you don't take that lightly.  You love our children more than anyone else and you want more for them than we possibly can.  I surrender Lord.”  If you know me and the situation, then you know I was considering a divorce.  However, I told God that I didn't want it and that I had faith in Him to either find another way, or to bring us back together later.  I promised to be faithful to his Law even if I was divorced.Do you know what?  God gave me that miracle I was begging Him for.  Tony and I just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary in July and although we argue as all couples do, we are so very happy.  Our children are all doing well in school, doing well at home, and have all overcome some really difficult years.  God is so good!  I wish I could help you all to see and feel how good He really is.  He loves us and wants to help us, we just need to get out of our own way.My friend has been battling similar issues with her family for a long time now as well.  She has been fighting for her daughter for a few years.  She has been faithful to pray, just as I was.  She has been asking God for help.  And also, she has been trying to fix it herself.  She has spoken to numerous specialist, counselors, and lawyers.  She has done her best to love her child despite her child being awful to her.  That is what we do, we fight for our children because they can't fight for themselves.  We feel as though if we aren't fighting for them then we are giving up and how can we give up on our children?  I want to argue, maybe you aren't giving up, maybe you are handing the fight over to a more qualified candidate.  God is our Heavenly Father.  Think about how much you would fight for you child.  Now take that and multiply it by a thousand. That is how much God is going to fight for you, His child.  The thing about handing things over to God is that He is not bound in the same way we are.  He can see solutions that we would never see.  He can make a way, where there is no way.  In my case, I would have never in a million years imagined that in 3 years our family would go from having several crisis a day in our home to having peace in our home.  Our family truly experienced a miracle and it was only after I surrendered, stopped fighting and let God take control without worrying about the outcome.  I had total faith that I would be ok however, things turned out because I was not in control God was.  My friend also saw her miracle.  After fighting so hard and so long, she just couldn't do it anymore.  She had exhausted her financial means, her emotional and mental energy, everything.  She loves her daughter more than anything and did not want to give up on fighting for her.  And also, she just could not keep putting herself at risk by continuing to fight.  She finally surrendered it to God.  She said she didn't know what was going to happen in court and she listed the few outcomes that she could think of.  She said unless God showed up in a huge way nothing was going to change.  Guess what? God showed up in a huge way.The judge listened to everything that everyone had to say and she came up with ideas that hadn't even occurred to my friend.  She had some great ideas, and she made things happen that my friend honestly couldn't even picture happening anytime soon.  Do you see how crazy good God is?  He wants to help us.  He wants to provide miracles for us.  Why can't we just surrender it to Him and get out His way and let Him work?Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you bless all those listening to this episode today.  Lord, we want you to help us. We ask that you step in and show us when we are taking over.  Show us how to surrender Lord.  We know you can fix things better than we can.  Give us the courage to surrender all of our problems to you.  Help us get out of our own way Lord.  Help us to step aside and let you help us.  We love you Lord, you are so amazing and we are so grateful for all the ways you help us without us even knowing.  Thank you for the miracles talked about here today and thank you for the millions of miracles that no one even notices.  You are the best and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus' holy name, AmenThank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus.  Today begins our fifth week of the challenge, can you believe it's been 5 weeks already?  Our focus for this week is Forgiveness.  How can we be more forgiving.  This one is near and dear to my heart and has been ever since I found out that God forgives us to the same extent that we forgive others.  I am not sure why I didn't know this before, as we say it every time we say the Our Father, but I still didn't know.  Now that I do know it, I want everyone else to know so that they don't stay angry here on each just to lose that connection with the Father in Heaven.  In the email that went out last night it I put an article titled The Eight Keys to Forgiveness by Robert Enright.  (click here).   Hopefully this article will help you develop a deeper understanding of forgiveness and some ideas of how that can happen. I look forward to spending time with you again tomorrow.  Have a blessed day.  

Did you know that forgiveness is a choice? In this week's podcast episode, I interviewed Dr. Robert Enright, the man Time Magazine calls “the Forgiveness Trailblazer” and author of the book that changed my life, Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope. We're digging into Dr. Enright's evidence-based forgiveness model, what it means to forgive, and why you would want to forgive someone in the first place. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/forgiveness-is-a-choice-interview-with-dr-robert-enright/ Sign up for my Forgiveness Masterclass here: https://abbymedcalf.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/6 Here are some links from Dr. Enright: The International Forgiveness Institute: https://internationalforgiveness.com/ The International Forgiveness Institute offers free forgiveness measures to assess adults' forgiving others, forgiving the self, group forgiveness, and children's forgiveness of others. Check out their free forgiveness scales here: https://internationalforgiveness.com/product-category/Forgiveness-Research-Tools/ Learn more from Dr. Enright on his blog, “The Forgiving Life,” at the national magazine, Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-forgiving-life Grab Dr. Enright's books here: Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Choice-Step-Step-Resolving/dp/1557987572 The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiving-Life-Overcoming-Resentment-Lifetools/dp/1433810913 More background on Dr. Enright:  Dr. Robert Enright holds the Aristotelian Professorship in Forgiveness Science within the Department of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, is a licensed psychologist, and co-founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to the dissemination of knowledge about forgiveness and community renewal through forgiveness. He is the unquestioned pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness, having published the first empirically-based journal article on person-to-person forgiveness in 1989. He has been called "the forgiveness trailblazer" by Time magazine and is often introduced as "the father of forgiveness research" because of his 36-year academic commitment to researching and implementing forgiveness programs. Dr. Enright is the author or editor of seven books and over 150 publications centered on social development and the psychology of forgiveness. He pioneered Forgiveness Therapy and developed an early intervention to promote forgiveness: the 20-step “Process Model of Forgiving.” His latest endeavors include forgiveness education for students in various world communities (for example, Iran, Israel, Monrovia, Northern Ireland, and the Philippines) and Forgiveness Therapy with those in correctional institutions, those who are without homes, and those who engage in road rage behaviors. ___________________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won't believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com/   For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving   Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book     Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my courses (some are free!): https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/   Say hello on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AbbyThriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving YouTube: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving

Learning to forgive your partner, friends and family is a core component to living a life free of resentment, anger and unhappiness. Listen to today's show to learn about forgiveness, and how to do it better. In this episode with Dr. Robert Enright, we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Understanding the paradox of forgiveness Learn the roadmap to forgiveness that's based on decades of research How to get rid of resentment on the path to forgiving What happens when we don't forgive Understanding that forgiving is not just 'moving on' And much more! For more information on our guest, and for the episode links visit: https://idopodcast.com/309 Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge Do you want to hear more on this topic? Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe Sponsors BetterHelp: Get help on your own time and at your own pace. Get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. Bev: A female-first canned wine brand that has ZERO sugar, 3 carbs and only 100 calories per serving. Receive 20% off your first purchase, plus free shipping. Visit DrinkBev.com/IDO or use code IDO. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah

Hour 3 of 7-7-21 Are you struggling to forgive someone who hurt you? Has someone wounded you and you are having a difficult time letting it go? Maybe you were abused by someone you trusted. Dr. Robert Enright is here for advice. He encourages you to bring your anger to the Lord and to follow […] All show notes at Forgiveness - This podcast produced by Relevant Radio

What is forgiveness? Is forgiveness excusing bad behavior? Does someone have to say sorry for me to forgive them? How do I forgive myself? In this episode, we tackle these questions and more with the preeminent forgiveness expert. Dr. Robert Enright has devoted 40 years to studying forgiveness, how to do it, and the ways it benefits us.

In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses How this year Christmas is more for giving forgiveness than for giving gifts. Summary of today Podcast:  Ways to celebrate this Christmas with more love and forgiveness in your heart How stress indicates that we are not letting go and how resiliency can help 8 Tools for simply forgiving self or others Question for today is? Why should forgiveness be part of Christmas? In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses How this year Christmas can be more for Giving forgiveness and finding resiliency than other for giving gifts. Oprah says, “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different, it's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.”  We have had a year like no other.  An election that some don’t want to let go of with authoritarian roots being exposed against our Democracy, a Pandemic that seems like it will never end.  Families with sick or dying family members, who may have just had a birthday party or wedding and never thought people might die from Covid 19 from coming to a party. Social unrest that has thrown the blanket off a long history of persistent and ugly battering of human rights in our America. Now we have one of the most stressful months of the year with expectation of giving gifts and being merry, with businesses dying, unemployment soaring and a supportive government nowhere to be found. Where is the hope? The joys of the Holiday Season? Can Christmas Music cheer us up? We do have a choice to focus on all the bad that has happened this year or choose to look at ways to let go of the hurt and heartache and bounce forward into a new year with or without Covid in the rear-view mirror. Christmas in my childhood was a complex time, happy and sad.  My family traveled 2 hours to stay with my grandparents and cousins for a traditional Christmas. My father would turn up the car radio on the way to hear the Santa report of sightings and we 4 kids would look out the station wagon windows to look for Santa’s sleigh in the sky, as we drive past the smell of crude oil from the oil fields of Oklahoma.  The Cousins played the piano and would sing carols.  There was a warm fire in the living room fireplace.  We shared and opened gifts on Christmas eve in the German Tradition and had one present from Santa to open on Christmas morning. Sometimes all the Children would sleep on the floor of the dining room in sleeping bags and peep to see if Santa had come yet.  I remember an old saying, my grandfather would say, so that we wouldn’t get to close to the fire.  “Silly Willy curls and sashes, fell in the fire and burned to ashes, by and by the room grew chilly, but no one came to stir up Willy.”  That is such a troubling image for a child. Why would a sweet grandfather recite that saying to young children?  But that was the worry, or the fear of bad things can happen at any moment, instead of hearing reassuring and comforting thoughts, that your family will always be there for you. We remember things very vividly from our childhood.  How are the children of this year going to remember it? Will they remember it with pleasant memories or of fear and hearing their parents fighting over an election, or financial struggles or of unity, forgiveness and finding ways to bounce back with resiliency and compassion, with their reassurance and hope. Christmas is a tradition around the story of the birth of Jesus, the head of the Christian church and believed to be the son of God.  His last words on the cross that killed him were. “Please Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” So, when is forgiveness the focus of His Holiday celebration? I think we are confused like Silly Willy and somehow, we fell in the fire, of remembering those last word to be sharing around forgiving. Not FOR Giving gifts.  But forgiving ourselves and each other, as the gift of the season.  This year we need it more than ever. What are some ways to forgive from an Article the Power of Forgiving Dr. Tyler VanderWeele, co-director of the Initiative on Health, Religion, and Spirituality at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and from Robert Enrights “8 Keys to Forgiveness” The power of Forgiveness teaches how to overcome lingering bad feelings toward someone who did you wrong. Almost everyone has experienced being wronged by someone. It could be a former co-worker, friend, or family member. But hanging on to those negative feelings can do great harm to Your health. "Forgiving a person who has wronged you is never easy but dwelling on those events and reliving them over and over can fill your mind with negative thoughts and suppressed anger," says Dr. Tyler VanderWeele. "Yet, when you learn to forgive, you are no longer trapped by the past actions of others and can finally feel free." Learning to let go There are two sides to forgiveness: decisional and emotional. Decisional forgiveness involves a conscious choice to replace ill will with good will. Replace that thought will a forgiving thought. "You no longer wish bad things to happen to that individual," says Dr. VanderWeele. "This is often quicker and easier to accomplish." Than emotional forgiveness, For emotional forgiveness, you move away from those negative feelings and no longer dwell on the emotions of the wrongdoing. "Emotional forgiveness is much harder and takes longer, as it's common for those feelings to return on a regular basis," says Dr. VanderWeele. "This often happens when you think about the offender, or something triggers the emotional memory, or you still suffer from the adverse consequences of the action." This may need professional help, it there was trauma from this event.  Please reach out to learn some letting go skills for PTSD.  In podcast 26, I cover some of those skills. Practicing forgiveness can have powerful health benefits. Observational studies, and even some randomized trials, suggest that when you forgive you can have lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hostility; reduced substance abuse; higher self-esteem; and greater life satisfaction. Yet, forgiving people is not always easy. "It's not that men can't forgive, but for some it's more of a struggle," says Dr. VanderWeele. It's not clear why, but perhaps men have learned to suppress certain emotions. "It also can be difficult for men to admit to themselves that there was this great offense that still bothers them," says Dr. VanderWeele. Or if it is PTSD avoidance is one of the symptoms. So, please reach out. Practice small acts of forgiveness One way to get more comfortable with forgiveness is to practice small acts in everyday life, says Dr. Tyler VanderWeele.  For example, if someone is rude or cuts you off in traffic, use that moment to recognize the wrong, realize it wasn't directed at you personally, and forgive him or her on the spot. "This way you also can learn to immediately stop the negative reaction from progressing into stronger emotions that can ruin your day. Reaching for a solutions Here are 8 Keys to Forgiveness by Robert Enright  When another person hurts us, it can upend our lives. Sometimes the hurt is very deep, such as when a spouse or a parent betrays our trust, or when we are victims of crime or other traumas, or when we’ve been harshly bullied. Especially for a long time. Anyone who has suffered a grievous hurt knows that when our inner world is badly disrupted, it’s difficult to concentrate on anything other than our turmoil or pain. When we hold on to hurt, we are emotionally and cognitively hobbled, and our relationships suffer. This is why with PTSD disorder; we need help to get out of our heads to think clearer on a emotional direction to let go or feel better. Forgiveness is strong medicine for this. When life hits us hard, there is nothing as effective as forgiveness for healing deep wounds. I would not have spent the last 30 years of my life studying forgiveness if I were not convinced of this. Many people have misconceptions about what forgiveness really means—and they may misunderstand it. Others may want to forgive but wonder whether or not they truly can. Forgiveness does not necessarily come easily; but it is possible for many of us to achieve it if we have the right tools and are willing to put in the effort. Below is an outline of the basic steps involved in following a path of forgiveness, adapted from Robert Enright’s book, 8 Keys to Forgiveness. As you listen to these steps, think about how you might adapt them to your own life. Know what Forgiveness is and Why it Matters Forgiveness is about goodness, about extending mercy to those who’ve harmed us, even if they don’t “deserve” it. Does any family member come to mind this Christmas? That you could practice on?  A person that doesn’t even know that they harmed or offended you and you wouldn’t fear, hurting their feelings, trying some of the skills on them. It is not about finding excuses for the offending person’s behavior or pretending it didn’t happen. Nor is there a quick formula you can follow. Forgiveness is a process with many steps that often proceeds in a non-linear fashion. But it’s well worth the effort. Working on forgiveness can help us increase our self-esteem and give us a sense of inner strength and safety. It can reverse the lies that we often tell ourselves when someone has hurt us deeply—lies like, I am defeated or I’m not worthy. Forgiveness can heal us and allow us to move on in life with meaning and purpose. Forgiveness matters, and we will be its primary beneficiary. A skill you can try on That person this Christmas is to imagine, him or her with a clown nose on their face every time they speak.  It will change the emotional reaction to them and in that moment. Chose to see them differently, such as, his so pitiful, he didn’t even have the brains to hurt me.  I interpreted that situations like he meant to.  He just runs his mouth and it is all gibberish.  Or agree to next time, say something to stick up for yourself, like you don’t know what you are talking about I see it this way.  Almost saying anything, show you can for your self and you will feel better. Studies have shown that forgiving others produces strong psychological benefits for the one who forgives. It has been shown to decrease depression, anxiety, unhealthy anger, and the symptoms of PTSD. But we don’t just forgive to help ourselves. Forgiveness can lead to psychological healing, yes; but, in its essence, it is not something about you or done for you. It is something you extend toward another person, because you recognize, over time, that it is the best response to the situation.  It is a choice.  Become “forgivingly Fit” Practice forgiveness, it helps if you have worked on positively changing your inner world by learning to be what I call “forgivingly fit.” Just as you would start slowly with a new physical exercise routine, it helps if you build up your forgiving heart muscles slowly, incorporating regular “workouts” into your everyday life. You can start becoming more fit by making a commitment to do no harm—in other words, making a conscious effort not to talk disparagingly about those who’ve hurt you after the fact. You don’t have to say good things; but, if you refrain from talking negatively, it will feed the more forgiving side of your mind and heart. You can also make a practice of recognizing that every person is unique, special, and irreplaceable. You may come to this through religious beliefs or a humanist philosophy or even through your belief in compassion. It’s important to cultivate this mindset of valuing our common humanity, so that it becomes harder to discount someone who has harmed you as unworthy. You can show love in small ways in everyday encounters—like smiling at a harried grocery cashier or taking time to listen to a child. Giving love when it’s unnecessary helps to build the love muscle, making it easier to show compassion toward everyone. Perhaps you can refrain from honking when someone cuts you off in traffic or hold your tongue when your spouse snaps at you and extend a hug instead. Sometimes pride and power can weaken your efforts to forgive by making you feel entitled and inflated, so that you hang onto your resentment as a noble cause. Try to catch yourself when you are acting from that place, and choose forgiveness or mercy, instead. Forgiveness Institute website: www.internationalforgiveness.com. Address your Inner Pain- It’s important to figure out who has hurt you and how. This may seem obvious; but not every action that causes you suffering is unjust. To become clearer, you can look carefully at the people in your life—your parents, siblings, peers, spouse, coworkers, children, and even yourself—and rate how much they have hurt you. Perhaps they have exercised power over you or withheld love; or maybe they have physically harmed you. These hurts have contributed to your inner pain and need to be acknowledged. Doing this will give you an idea of who needs forgiveness in your life and provide a place to start. There are many forms of emotional pain; but the common forms are anxiety, depression, unhealthy anger, lack of trust, self-loathing or low self-esteem, an overall negative worldview, and a lack of confidence in one’s ability to change. All of these harms can be addressed by forgiveness; so it’s important to identify the kind of pain you are suffering from and to acknowledge it. The more hurt you have incurred, the more important it is to forgive, at least for the purpose of experiencing emotional healing. You may be able to do this accounting on your own, or you may need the help of a therapist. However, you approach looking at your pain be sure you do it in an environment that feels safe and supportive. Please reach out to me, If needed, I can give you guidance where to find a therapist you insurance will pay for or become a client, to work on that specific stumbling block to your peace of mind. Develop a Forgiving Mind through Empathy Scientists have studied what happens in the brain when we think about forgiving and have discovered that, when people successfully imagine forgiving someone (in a hypothetical situation), they show increased activity in the neural circuits responsible for empathy. This tells us that empathy is connected to forgiveness and is an important step in the process. If you examine some of the details in the life of the person who harmed you, you can often see more clearly what wounds he carries and start to develop empathy of compassion for him. First, try to imagine him as an innocent child, needing love and support. Did he get that from the parents? Research has shown that if an infant does not receive attention and love from primary caregivers, then he will have a weak attachment, which can damage trust. It may prevent him from ever getting close to others and set a trajectory of loneliness and conflict for the rest of his life. You may be able to put an entire narrative together for the person who hurt you—from early child through adulthood—or just imagine it from what you know. You may be able to see her physical frailties and psychological suffering and begin to understand the common humanity that you share. Recognizing that we all carry wounds in our hearts can help open the door to forgiveness. Find Meaning in Your Suffering When we suffer a great deal, it is important that we find meaning in what we have endured. Without seeing meaning, a person can lose a sense of purpose, which can lead to hopelessness and a despairing conclusion that there is no meaning to life itself. Instead, try to see how our suffering has changed us in a positive way. Some people begin to think about how they can use their suffering to cope, because they’ve become more resilient or brave.  They may also realize that their suffering has altered their perspective regarding what is important in life, changing their long-range goals for themselves. Or see it as it made you the person that you are today because of it. To find meaning is not to diminish your pain or to say, I’ll just make the best of it or All things happen for a reason. Still, there are many ways to find meaning in our suffering. Some may choose to focus more on the beauty of the world or decide to give service to others in need. Some may find meaning by speaking their truth or by strengthening their inner resolve. If I were to give one answer, it would be that we should use our suffering to become more loving and to pass that love onto others. Finding meaning, in and of itself, is helpful for finding direction in forgiveness. When forgiveness is hard, call upon other strengths you have from faith to beliefs in old sayings. Forgiveness is always hard when we are dealing with deep injustices from others. I have known people who refuse to use the word forgiveness because it just makes them so angry. That’s OK—we all have our own timelines for when we can be merciful. But if you want to forgive and are finding it hard, it might help to call upon other resources. First remember that if you are struggling with forgiveness, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure at forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process that takes time, patience, and determination. Try not to be harsh on yourself but be gentle and foster a sense of quiet within, an inner acceptance of yourself. Try to respond to yourself as you would to someone whom you love deeply. Surround yourself with good and wise people who support you and who have the patience to allow you time to heal in your own way. Also, practice humility—not in the sense of putting yourself down, but in realizing that we are all capable of imperfection and suffering. Try to develop courage and patience in yourself to help you in the journey. Also, if you practice bearing small slights against you without lashing out, you give a gift to everyone—not only to the other person, but to everyone whom that person may harm in the future because of your anger. You can help end the cycle of inflicting pain on others. If you are still finding it hard to forgive, you can choose to practice with someone who is easier to forgive. OR Alternatively, it can be better to focus on forgiving the person who is at the root of your pain—maybe a parent who was abusive, or a spouse who betrayed you. If these initial hurt impacts other parts of your life and other relationships, it may be necessary to start there. Forgive Yourself Most of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others and we struggle to love ourselves. Or continue with self-abusive statement or act or continue the abuse that the other person started. If you are not feeling lovable because of actions you’ve taken, you may need to work on self-forgiveness and offer to yourself what you offer to others who have hurt you: a sense of inherent worth, despite your actions. In self-forgiveness, you honor yourself as a person, even if you are imperfect. If you’ve broken your personal standards in a serious way, there is a danger of sliding into self-loathing. When this happens, you may not take good care of yourself—you might overeat or oversleep or start smoking or engage in other forms of “self-punishment.” You need to recognize this and move toward self-compassion. Soften your heart toward yourself. Develop a forgiving heart When we overcome suffering, we gain a more mature understanding of what it means to be humble, courageous, and loving in the world. We may be moved to create an atmosphere of forgiveness in our homes and workplaces, to help others who’ve been harmed overcome their suffering, or to protect our communities from a cycle of hatred and violence. All of these choices can lighten the heart and bring joy to one’s life. Some people may believe that love for another who’s harmed you is not possible. But, I’ve found that many people who forgive eventually find a way to open their hearts. This kind of transformation can create a legacy of love that will live on long after you’re gone. And be one of the greatest gifts you can give for this Holiday Season. Happy Holidays Join the Conversation Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Facebook at AnxietySimplified5.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer.  Our next podcast: New Year’s Goals in a Brave new time See other podcasts at AnxietySimplified.net    

Which one of our hosts has been naked on stage in front of their R.E. teacher? How excited is Adam about pubs being allowed to stay open? And on a related note, just how bad is Bob's hangover? To find out, simply listen to the latest episode of Partners in Crime with Robert Daws and Adam Croft. Adam tells us about an interesting article on Lynda La Plante, which includes more nudity talk, Bob recommends Simon Mayo's new crime fiction book and we hear how Henry Cavill's portrayal of Sherlock Holmes in the new Netflix film Enola Holmes, differs from previous takes on the character.  Bob also recommends the same television programme again, but this time he remembers the name, while Adam gives us an important lesson on leaves falling off trees.  ~ Moriarty ~   RECOMMENDATIONS Knife Edge by Simon Mayo  https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/knife-edge-16   September's Patreon free book of the month: The Night Shift by Robert Enright  https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/the-night-shift-24 To get this book for free, become a patron at patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast   Buy Partners In Crime merchandise here https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592091 Buy a 'Partners In Time' clock by clicking below! https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592683   Don't forget your exclusive Partners in Crime discounts through Kobo. Get 90% off your first purchase using the code CRIME at checkout. And you can also get 40% off all books using the code PARTNERS when you shop using this link: bit.ly/PartnersKobo If you’d like to support Partners in Crime and get early access to every episode — on video — plus lots of other goodies, head over to patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast   CONTACT US Email: hello@partnersincrime.online Facebook: facebook.com/groups/crimefictionpodcast/ Twitter: twitter.com/crimeficpodcast Instagram: instagram.com/crimefictionpodcast/ Website: partnersincrime.online Patreon: patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast

Who spotted the first brown leaf of autumn this week? Did Bob have a nice bbq? And does he moan about the weather for the 118th episode in a row? To find out the answers to these questions and to hear an interview with author and award winning playwright Gytha Lodge, listen to the latest episode of Partners in Crime with Adam Croft and Robert Daws Adam tells us all about the ninth staging of Bloody Scotland 2020, which is virtual this year, Bob talks about Grace, the new television adaptation of Peter James' crime novels and we hear about how the life of a fledgling crime writer has taken a surprising twist.  Adam recommends a must-watch television programme he has been getting into this week, while the conversation takes a disturbing route as our hosts remind us that viewers on Patreon will be able to see Bob's naked legs.  ~ Moriarty ~   RECOMMENDATIONS Watching in the Dark by Gytha Lodge  https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/watching-from-the-dark   September's Patreon free book of the month: The Night Shift by Robert Enright  https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/the-night-shift-24 To get this book for free, become a patron at patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast   Buy Partners In Crime merchandise here https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592091 Buy a 'Partners In Time' clock by clicking below! https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592683   Don't forget your exclusive Partners in Crime discounts through Kobo. Get 90% off your first purchase using the code CRIME at checkout. And you can also get 40% off all books using the code PARTNERS when you shop using this link: bit.ly/PartnersKobo If you’d like to support Partners in Crime and get early access to every episode — on video — plus lots of other goodies, head over to patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast   CONTACT US Email: hello@partnersincrime.online Facebook: facebook.com/groups/crimefictionpodcast/ Twitter: twitter.com/crimeficpodcast Instagram: instagram.com/crimefictionpodcast/ Website: partnersincrime.online Patreon: patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast

What did our hosts get up to during their week off? Where did Bob first go on holiday? And who got mistaken for a tennis player while having a walk in the woods?   To find out the answers to these questions, all you need to do is listen to the latest episode of Partners in Crime with Adam Croft and Robert Daws.   Adam reveals what there is to look forward to at the Noirwich Crime Writing Festival, Bob recommends a future book by Iain Ryan that you can pre-order now and we hear how many books Angela Marsons has signed up to write in her new deal.    Adam tells us about a Gytha Lodge book, Bob gives a short lesson in boating and he also talks about yet another TV programme he was once in.    ~ Moriarty ~   RECOMMENDATIONS Watching in the Dark by Gytha Lodge  https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/watching-from-the-dark   The Spiral by Iain Ryan (Pre-order) https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/the-spiral-2     September's Patreon free book of the month: The Night Shift by Robert Enright  https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/the-night-shift-24 To get this book for free, become a patron at patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast   Buy Partners In Crime merchandise here https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592091 Buy a 'Partners In Time' clock by clicking below! https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592683   Don't forget your exclusive Partners in Crime discounts through Kobo. Get 90% off your first purchase using the code CRIME at checkout. And you can also get 40% off all books using the code PARTNERS when you shop using this link: bit.ly/PartnersKobo If you’d like to support Partners in Crime and get early access to every episode — on video — plus lots of other goodies, head over to patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast   CONTACT US Email: hello@partnersincrime.online Facebook: facebook.com/groups/crimefictionpodcast/ Twitter: twitter.com/crimeficpodcast Instagram: instagram.com/crimefictionpodcast/ Website: partnersincrime.online Patreon: patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast

It surprised me to learn that we have over two million people in prison in the United States. The majority of individuals in prison will eventually be released into the community. . . and who will they become after the prison experience? This episode presents the results of research just completed on a novel therapy for rehabilitating men in a maximum security prisons. Learn the elements of an approach which seeks to address the root of the problem, and in the process learn techniques for healing and breaking free of anger and resentment.Guest Dr. Maria Gambaro is a licensed psychologist who has dedicated the last twelve years of her life to forgiveness counseling, research and assessment. She is one of the principle authors of the research and paper we will cover today. Guest Dr. Robert Enright is the founder of the International Forgiveness Institute and has been featured in Time Magazine and ABC’s 20/20 as the pioneer of the scientific study of forgiveness. Dr. Enright is a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison and is the author of the Eight Keys to Forgiveness. This is the second time I have had Dr. Enright on the show - find him in a previous very popular episode entitled “How to Forgive.”

In dem Buch "Conspiracy" beschreibt Ryan Holiday, wie Star-Investor Peter Thiel (PayPal, Facebook, Palantir) durch eine lang angelegte Verschwörung das Medienunternehmen Gawker zerstörte. Warum Thiel das tat? Gawker hatte sich dreist und zynisch in sein Privatleben eingemischt. Ähnliches erlitt Wrestling-Legende Hulk Hogan, von dem Gawker ein Sextape veröffentlichte. So entstand ein ganz besonderes "Tag-Team". Für Ryan Holiday lässt sich aus dem Erfolg der beiden viel über Strategie, Koordination und Ausdauer lernen – auch für weniger verschwörerische Unternehmungen. Bringt Rache Seelenfrieden? Lrnings-Moderator Tobias Kargoll fragt sich außerdem, welche Lehren sich für den richtigen Umgang mit Konflikten und persönlichen Verletzungen ziehen lassen. Mit langem Atem den Gegner zur Strecke zu bringen, mag befriedigend klingen, lenkt aber mindestens von den Zielen ab, die man sich eigentlich im Leben gesetzt hatte. Was bleibt? Verzeihen! Um des eigenen Seelenfriedens Willen. Wie das geht, weiß Robert Enright. Lrnings: 1. "Da kann man nichts machen“ ist Schwachsinn. Es stimmt nicht, dass man Dinge nicht ändern könnte. Mit Geduld, Koordination und Ausdauer kannst du Unglaubliches erreichen. 2. Wer verzeiht, wird stärker. Erst wenn du mit negativen Ereignissen Frieden schließt, haben sie keine Macht mehr über dich. Quellen: - Ryan Holiday – Conspiracy - https://sz-magazin.sueddeutsche.de/leben-und-gesellschaft/verzeihen-psychologie-gesundheit-88945?reduced=tru - Immer schön sachlich bleiben https://www.zeit.de/karriere/beruf/2017-08/konflikte-job-meinungsverschiedenheiten-streit Mehr: - https://internationalforgiveness.com Dr. Robert Enrights International Forgiveness Institute

Is forgiveness a gift you give... yourself? Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, shares facts that will shift your perspective, and hear one incredible woman tell her true story of forgiving the unforgivable. Learn more about Commune courses and events at onecommune.com.

Is forgiveness a gift you give... yourself? Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, shares facts that will shift your perspective, and hear one incredible woman tell her true story of forgiving the unforgivable. Learn more about Commune courses and events at onecommune.com. This podcast made possible by: Better Help Raycon

Father Len explains what forgiveness is and isn’t and the powerful positive effects it has on us and those around us. Highlights, Ideas, and Wisdom We live in an age of anger. It defines our politics, the way we drive, our Facebook posts, and even our religion. A lot of religious people baptize anger and make excuses for it by calling it righteous. Nowhere in the Bible does it mention God’s having righteous anger. There is no righteous anger. Anger is anger. There is a joke about Irish Alzheimer’s. It’s when you forget everything, but those you’re mad at. People often confuse forgiveness with reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation. Everything is forgivable, but not all things can be reconciled. Forgiveness means you’re not going to be trapped in a prison of anger, bitterness, and resentment. It’s a source of freedom. Attempts to reconcile with the sociopath can be problematic. An invitation to get hurt again and again. Forgiveness that skips over justice and doesn’t hold the offender accountable is fake forgiveness. Its amnesty and submission to the wrong. It turns forgiveness into the way of the weak and not the strong. Why should we forgive? First and foremost because God said so. Father Len describes how forgiveness gave Nelson Mandela freedom. Father Len tells the amazing story of a young actress whose career was ruined by Alfred Hitchcock, but she was able to forgive him and later attend his funeral free of anger, bitterness, and resentment. Bitterness has a long-term effect on the brain. It makes you dumber. Anger contributes to bad decision-making. Wounded people wound others. If you hold on to anger and a really deep hurt, you’re likely to hurt other people. Forgiveness silences the voice of the offender that keeps telling you you’re a victim and you have no dignity. Forgiveness contributes to better health and a longer life. Dr. Robert Enright’s “International Forgiveness Institute” “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” – CS Lewis The book, “A 1000 Acres” by Jane Smiley is a great story about the power of forgiveness. People who’ve been able to forgive a deep hurt have a much greater capacity to love.

This is Part 4 speaking about the pros of forgiveness in the article by the Mayo Clinic called: “Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness”. We dive more into the physical, mental and emotional benefits of forgiving someone. This is a multi-part series that will speak on the pros and cons of forgiveness. Something to Think About: What if what you want/are looking for, is on the other side of forgiveness? What would you do to get it? Has any of these pros happened to you when you have forgiven someone of an offense? What is keeping you from experiencing these same benefits now? Ask God to show you what they are and to give you the strength to overcome it. Show Notes: The article this episode was based on: “Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness” by the Mayo Clinic Staff (https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692) When I said "Psychological depression occurs in at least 25%..." This was from: "A New Approach to Reducing Depression" (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-forgiving-life/201704/new-approach-reducing-depression) Robert Enright, Ph.D., is a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, a licensed psychologist, and the founding board member of the International Forgiveness Institute, Inc. (internationalforgiveness.com), who pioneered the social scientific study of forgiveness. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/experts/robert-enright-phd) When I explained what the immune system did, this was from: "Immune System: Diseases, Disorders & Function" (https://www.livescience.com/26579-immune-system.html) When I said "Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health..." This was from: "Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It" (https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it) When I said "For those who achieved forgiveness, anxiety and depression, along with improved self-esteem and hope, were improved" and "Other psychological benefits of forgiveness were increased feelings of love, improved ability to handle one's anger..." This was from: "Forgiveness: How it Manifests in our Health, Wellbeing, and Longevity" (https://repository.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1124&context=mapp_capstone) My Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dwaynestaten/ Leave me a Voice Message! https://anchor.fm/dwayne-staten5/message Music: Moody by Jay Someday https://soundcloud.com/jaysomeday Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0 Free Download / Stream: https://bit.ly/_moody Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/WJHTZpx9d2o

Most of us have been hurt by someone in our past—a family member, friend, colleague, or stranger. The legacy of conflicts and hurtful words can stick with us for a long time, let alone the pain of betrayal, trauma, and abuse. There's a lot to forgive. But nobody should or even could ever be forced to do forgive. It's a personal choice, and one that everyone gets to make for themselves. But research shows that, for those who feel ready, forgiveness can be good for their health. Host David B. Feldman interviews Dr. Robert Enright, psychologist and author of many books, including Eight Keys to Forgiveness and Forgiveness is a Choice about what forgiveness is, what it's not, and how to do it. The post 3/16/20 Forgiveness and Its Impacts on our Health appeared first on KPFA.

"El perdón puede salvar tu vida. Jamás he encontrado algo tan efectivo como el perdón para sanar las heridas profundas. El perdón es una medicina poderosa". Robert Enright

Robert Enright Ph.D. is the author of 120 publications and seven books. He is one of the world’s foremost scholars in the field of forgiveness. Not only has he studied forgiveness exhaustively, he has developed a curriculum that has been used in prisons and schools in some of the most conflicted parts of the world. We have worked with him in Belfast, Northern Ireland since 2002 in his phenomenal effort to deliver forgiveness education to many hundreds of primary school children every year. 

“Many of my colleagues in the social sciences, quite frankly, thought that I had lost my mind studying such a ‘soft or inappropriate topic' such as forgiveness.  ‘Leave the examination of forgiveness to the clergy,' I was told.  ‘You'll never get a job working in academia if you stick with that Enright,' my graduate students were counseled.  ‘This topic has nothing to do with social science,' I heard whispered more than once.  I've battled through misunderstandings, indifference, and anger from others as I've tried to bring some perspective and depth to the question ‘What is forgiveness?'” ~Robert D. Enright, PhD. When striving for personal growth do we sometimes overlook the power of forgiveness?  In our struggle to heal ourselves and others do we understand the key role forgiveness plays? Forgiveness is something we may think we understand, but when faced with it, we often find ourselves at a loss.  What is it really, and how do we actually do it?  We may fall short when faced with these questions.  Even those from vibrant religious backgrounds can draw a blank about the true nature of forgiveness, yet, it is a fundamental component of a healthy, happy life.  This is why it's critical for mothers  to build a home life centered on forgiveness in order to empower their families with the tools for emotional and spiritual well-being. In this podcast, Audrey Rindlisbacher introduces the insightful book Forgiveness is a Choice by Robert D. Enright, PhD.  In his book, Dr. Enright shares what he learned about forgiveness through a clinical study of incest survivors and the effect of forgiveness on their ability to find emotional and spiritual health.  You will hear Dr. Enright's 7 points defining forgiveness, what you will gain when you forgive, and 5 Tools for forgiveness taught by Jesus Christ, the very author and source of forgiveness. Listener's Guide: Use the time stamps below to skip to any part of the podcast.  2.06  The case for forgiveness  9:38  Robert Enright's clinical study about forgiveness 13:30  What forgiveness is and what it is not 14.52  Results you can expect when you forgive 16:27  5 Forgiveness Helps from the Bible 29:27  A story of the healing power of forgiveness Quotes from this episode: “We could fill volumes with case histories and first person accounts of how forgiveness has set people free.” ~Dr. Robert Enright “[You will] learn that the first person that forgiveness changes is the person doing the forgiving.” ~Dr. Robert Enright  “We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol. This was our course. We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, ‘This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.'” ~Alcoholics Anonymous Forgiveness Help #1: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors… For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” ~Matthew 6: 12, 15-16 Forgiveness Help #2: “Then Jesus said, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” ~Luke 23:34  Forgiveness Help #3: “So when they continued asking him [Jesus], he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” ~John 8:7  Forgiveness Help #4: “And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.” ~Matt. 24:10 Forgiveness Help #5: “The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet? Jesus said unto him,

In this episode of Rivers of Living Water, Mary Schwarz interviews Catholic therapist Dr. Robert Enright, whom Time magazine calls "the forgiveness trailblazer." Based on 25 years of experience, Dr. Enright has found a method to help people to forgive even the worst kinds of injuries and abuse. Dr. Enright's research shows that forgiveness frees us from the anger, depression, anxiety and mistrust that can result from being treated unjustly. For more, see https://internationalforgiveness.com/ Recorded and aired on March 27, 2017.

Forgiving isn’t excusing or forgetting; it is a decision that gives greater physical and psychological health to the forgiver. In this episode Dr. Enright provides profound insights into forgiveness including:* How and why forgiveness benefits the forgiver* Practical, proven steps on how to actually forgive* How to forgive after being betrayed by unfaithfulness* What five steps to take if you have been unfaithful * What to do when the person you need to forgive is yourself* How to forgive someone who has already died* How to get over divorce anger* The unexpected and beneficial effects of offering mercy to the offender* How to prevent your own excessive anger from “living on” in your children and future generationsDr. Enright is a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison and the pioneer of the scientific study of forgiveness. He is the author of seven books, including ”8 Keys to Forgiveness” and the children’s book “Rising Above the Storm Clouds: What it’s Like to Forgive.” He has been featured on ABC’s 20/20 and has been called the “Forgiveness Trailblazer” by Time Magazine. Dr. Enright has developed forgiveness education programs in twelve countries across the globe. Learn more about his work or support him at internationalforgiveness.com.Please “give back” to this podcast by leaving us an awesome rating on iTunes! Here are the steps to take to do so from an iPhone: 1) Launch Apple’s purple Podcast app in your phone2) Even if you already subscribe to / have Psychology America and it is open, tap “Search” 3) Enter “Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra” 4) Tap on the photo of the podcast 5) Scroll all the way down6) Press the star rating you choose and/or tap the “write a review.” For the highest rating tap the last star on the right first. Your review is appreciated!

If you enjoy this podcast please consider supporting here: www.patrickcoffin.media/donate. Join the waiting list for our premium content website: www.coffinnation.com, doors are opening soon! Follow me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/patrickcoffin.media Subscribe in YouTube: www.youtube.com/patrickcoffinmedia *****************************************************   Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons has 40 years’ experience as a psychiatrist. His expertise is in the clinical benefits of forgiveness and in the interpersonal dynamics of anger. The priestly abuse crisis provides plenty of anger, and plenty of opportunity for forgiveness, where appropriate. But is the crisis about “clericalism” as some have claimed? Fitzgibbons believes that if anyone blames clericalism participates in the cover-up since the crisis is mainly about homosexual predators destroying young lives. Euphemisms and changing the subject are not a strategy for restoration.   In this episode you will learn: The psychological roots of same-sex attraction The difference between sinful anger and the morally neutral emotion of anger Why forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling The way in which clericalism has helped give cover to the perpetrators Why the Catholic Church is still the unique repository of Christ’s truth   Resources recommended in this episode: Forgiveness Therapy: An Empirical Guide for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope by Rick Fitzgibbons, MD, and Robert Enright, MD. Dr. Fitzgibbons websites: maritalhealing.com and www.childhealing.com  John Jay Report, covering the facts about abuse (and allegations) by priests from 1950-2002     Question of the week How can righteous anger be a positive agent for change in the Church today?     "Like" us on Facebook HERE Tweet to Patrick HERE Don’t forget to Subscribe to the show in YouTube, as well as the full length podcast available in iTunes and other podcast directories, while you are there, please leave an honest review. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Is forgiveness a gift you give... yourself? Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, shares facts that will shift your perspective, and hear one incredible woman tell her true story of forgiving the unforgivable. Learn more about Commune courses and events at onecommune.com.

Is forgiveness a gift you give... yourself? Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, shares facts that will shift your perspective, and hear one incredible woman tell her true story of forgiving the unforgivable. Learn more about Commune courses and events at onecommune.com.

I enjoyed this wonderful conversation as we explored the following profound and often perplexing questions: Why forgive? How does psychology define forgiveness and how do Judaism, Christianity and Islam see forgiveness? Does forgiving mean we are pardoning bad behavior? Do you need the offender to participate if you want to forgive? What steps can we take to forgive and how do we do it? Guests for this episode bring the perspectives of Judaism, Islam and Christianity to the topic. Rabbi Mendel Dubov serves as faculty at the Rabbinical College of America in Morristown, NJ, USA and as Director of Chabad in Sussex County, NJ. Saifulla Chaudahry serves as Propagation Secretary for Ahmadiyya Muslim Community of North Jersey. Pastor Michael Bos, Ph.D. serves as the Senior Minister of Marble Collegiate Church of New York City and is the President of the Collegiate Churches of New York. Dr. Bos established the first interfaith religious diplomacy center on the Arabian Peninsula, and received the U.S. Ambassador’s Award for Community Service. Psychology studies have found that when people forgive it decreases anxiety, depression and obsessive thinking about the offender. Multiple studies have also found that forgiveness improves mood, psychological health and the quality of one’s relationships overall. To read & explore further about forgiveness , may I suggest starting with a search of psychology studies by Robert Enright and Richard Fitzgibbons. I hope you will enjoy and learn from this very special episode! If you have enjoyed Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra, there are a few ways that you can show your support: 1) visit iTunes and leave us a 5-Star rating, 2) order a book from PsychologyAmerica.com where there is a selection of books I’ve personally chosen (your order will go seamlessly through to Amazon.com) or 3) press subscribe to continue to receive new episodes. Would you like to teach your child nine and under about how to have an optimistic outlook even when things go wrong? Consider purchasing my book entitled: “There’s Always Hope: a Story About Overcoming.” It can be found on The PsychologyAmerica.com website or at Amazon.com. The beautiful illustrations were painted by Philadelphia resident, Briana Giasullo, and the book also imparts empathy for the disabled.

Meditation: "To forgive is to deliberately offer goodness in the face of your own pain to the one who was unfair to you." -Robert Enright

Meditation: "It is the struggle to forgive that you find wholeness." -Robert Enright

Meditation: ""Forgiveness comes from within you as a freely chosen response of mercy to a person who is unjust." -Robert Enright

Meditation: "Forgiveness cannot reverse what has happened to you, but it can reverse your reactions now to what has happened," -Robert Enright

Meditation: "Resentment occurs when anger not only comes to visit but sits down in our hearts, takes off its stinky shoes, and makes itself too much at home." -Robert Enright

We were recently contacted by someone married to a sex addict.  They asked about how to work on trust as part of their healing.  In this episode, we start to tackle the concept of trust.  We will explore what trust is, how it gets damaged in addiction, and why it is difficult to work on in therapy.  There are several approaches to understanding and restoring trust- we mentioned these in this episode:   Brene Brown: The Anatomy of Trust https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewngFnXcqao&t=7s Forgiveness is a Choice by Robert Enright http://www.apa.org/pubs/books/431657A.aspx

We were recently contacted by someone married to a sex addict.  They asked about how to work on trust as part of their healing.  In this episode, we start to tackle the concept of trust.  We will explore what trust is, how it gets damaged in addiction, and why it is difficult to work on in therapy.  There are several approaches to understanding and restoring trust- we mentioned these in this episode:   Brene Brown: The Anatomy of Trust https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewngFnXcqao&t=7s Forgiveness is a Choice by Robert Enright http://www.apa.org/pubs/books/431657A.aspx

Forgiveness is something we all need--both to give and to receive--and yet something we all struggle with at times. How can we forgive others when they hurt or wrong us, and how can we forgive ourselves when we do the same? As mothers, forgiveness is essential, but too often we struggle to know how to truly work through, heal, and let go. Today, I'm talking with Dr. Robert Enright, pioneering researcher of forgiveness, about the power of forgiveness and how we can heal from even the most painful wounds. Dr. Enright is also sharing tools from his groundbreaking program and his book "8 Keys to Forgiveness." To forgive is to let your own burdens go. Make this episode a priority, listen, do the work, and then pass it on. Visit http://internationalforgiveness.com/ or http://www.drchristinahibbert.com for more.

Artist Francoise Sullivan and writer/art critic Robert Enright explore the idea of inspiration.

Artist Francoise Sullivan and writer/art critic Robert Enright explore the idea of inspiration.

Robert Enright and panelists Allyson Mitchell and Dionne Brand in a lively discussion about the art of Wangechi Mutu. Focused upon imagery of the human body, Mutu's work offers a radical deconstruction of traditional figuration that bridges her Kenyan upbringing with contemporary American reality.

Robert Enright and panelists Allyson Mitchell and Dionne Brand in a lively discussion about the art of Wangechi Mutu. Focused upon imagery of the human body, Mutu’s work offers a radical deconstruction of traditional figuration that bridges her Kenyan upbringing with contemporary American reality.