Podcasts about what so

Dr. Barbara is a leadership coach, international speaker, author, and seminar leader with over 18 years of global experience. She inspires individuals, entrepreneurs, and leaders to reconnect with their most profound and authentic essence, discover their purpose, and bring about positive change in their lives and in the world. She is also the author of a new book "The Unexpected Gift," which reveals the inspiring true-life story of one woman's journey to self-discovery and renewal after the implosion of her marriage, and her experience of creating anew her life and career she is also the author of a new book "The UnexpectedGift," which reveals the inspiring true-life story of one woman's journey to self-discovery and renewal after the implosion of her marriage, and her experience of creating anew her life and career while navigating different culture... connect with Dr. Barbara at https://www.barbaradallepezze.com/ Machine generated transcript below Unknown Speaker 0:00 Your journey has been an interesting one here, you've put in so much more than those around you. You've even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? Wonder? Why do people in general You're so limited as friends sharing? You are not alone in the world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside you can't quite verbalize Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast, the show that answers the questions you never even knew to ask. But you the answers to questions about you in the world, the people in it? And most importantly, how do I proceed now moving forward? We don't have all the answers but we sure do love Living in the Time for another spiritual dub with your host, Brandon Handley. Let's get right into today's episode. Either spiritual dope I Brandon Handley 0:41 am on here today with Dr. Barbara dalla pet say she is a leadership coach, international speaker, author and seminar leader with over 18 years of global experience he inspires individuals, entrepreneurs, and leaders to reconnect with their most profound and authentic essence, discover their purpose and bring about positive change in their lives and in the world. She is also the author of a new book the unexpected get which reveals the inspiring true life story of one woman's journey to self discovery and renewal after the implosion of her marriage and her experience of creating a new her life and career. Barbara, I think we are introduced from Tom Palladino, is that correct? Is that Tom Paladin that introduced us? That name doesn't sound familiar. It doesn't sound familiar. Nope. Well, are we connected? So I mean, doesn't really matter, I guess at this point. Now, because we're here, we're together, and we're having this conversation. So I always like to start this off with the idea right? That we are kind of conduits for source energy, right? universal source energy, God, whatever you want to call it, and that you and I are having this conversation? You and I will understand what we're talking about maybe, right, you're having a conversation, I've had one conversation, and you know, the person listening is going to pick up on something entirely different, there's gonna be a communication that they're gonna get, that can only be delivered through you. To them right now. What's that message? Dr Barbara 2:19 Hmm? Well, first of all, it is a feeling of gratitude for being here and having these opportunity to have this conversation with you. And whatever we are going to talk about, I'm sure the listener will find something that resonates with them. So that's gratitude first. And then there is also in this moment that Zehra to contribute, to contribute. And I think that this is the best, at least for me, and in my experience, a great disposition to have when we when we start a conversation. So gratitude and a desire to contribute. Brandon Handley 3:01 I love that the desire to contribute, a lot of people will stand back. Because they don't feel like they have something that they can contribute. They don't see what they have to offer as valuable enough, given the situation that they're looking at, they may not think that they can have an impact. What do you say to that person? Dr Barbara 3:23 Oh, no, I would say that we are so special. Each one of us we are so unique, so unique, that we always have something to contribute to actually I would also share that I was reading once I love to read about mistakes. And I was reading about the rays of Avila and also Katrina of CNN, they are two very important mistakes in the Middle Ages. And they were saying that we are so powerful. And we have so much to give that even when we intersect, just passers by a smile that we can give to them or even the way we look at them can change their lives. That's how much we can contribute. So just passing by somebody, we impact their lives. And then if we take a chance, and want to share something that it is important to us, that becomes already such a powerful contribution because as you said at the beginning, you don't know how the person who is listening to you is going to interpret and relate what you say to their life. So I think that we are a bundle of gift potential. And so and so it is always good to be able to offer a little bit of this bundle of gifts, potential to people that we intersect or they're in our life for a moment for few days for years for a lifetime. Brandon Handley 4:49 For sure for sure. So and I enjoy that. Take two pieces on that. First of all those mistakes are those both female mistakes. Yes. Yes. Like you know We don't hear a whole lot about female mistakes. I know you spent some time in Asia, Asia pack, as we call it, right Asia, Pacific. And even in Buddhism, which we, Westerners like to think is like this big open, vast thing, like females really weren't allowed to participate like at some of the higher levels. And therefore, like, you know, the reason we don't hear about maybe some amazing Zen females is simply because they were kept out. Right. And same. And I think that the story is similar in mysticism. It regardless of kind of which which space you spend time in, is that what you found to be true for yourself? What were some of your findings, I guess, in in that space? Dr Barbara 5:47 Actually, no, I never, I never thought about it in from that perspective, because as a matter of fact, several of the mystics that I read, I love to read biographies, they are female, and they are from the middle age. So probably they had a different rhythm. And life was slower, and they had time. And actually, there was also their calling to write, and to write books. And so we have quite a number of books that I know of female mystics, actually, their purpose was to contribute and give a little bit of their experience to other people that were living in the world, so to speak. And so they did have a chance to write their message and their experience and to share it with the world. And, and actually, I really enjoyed reading many of those female altars. Actually, maybe today would be different. Maybe what you're saying for this century would be probably more more appropriate in the sense that yes, we might think in this way, but in relation to women that lived in the middle age, and they were monks, and nuns, they, they, they had the time to dedicate their life to writing and to write to people for people. I'm thinking while I'm talking to you, yeah. I never looked at it from that angle. But the middle lane, for sure, right. I Brandon Handley 7:31 mean, and I just like I said, I know that you've also spent some time in Asia Pacific, and my guess would be you've been immersed in some of the Buddhist culture, right? Why? Why? Why you sat in there. Dr Barbara 7:43 Um, I was in Asia Pacific, and in, in I was in Hong Kong, many years and in China, and then south of China, Mainland China, and Singapore, and there are very different philosophies of life and religion for there. So it was not that there was that feeling and that sense that we are all Buddhists and so that mystics atmosphere, actually, Hong Kong is a very, is the New York of Asia has been for so long, right? So you could experience certainly the different religions and philosophy of life. So read there, so. But I imagine that what you are thinking office more and mystical and meditative life, that in places like Beijing, or Hong Kong or Singapore, they are somehow a little bit on the backs backhand, of good experience. Not bad. Having said that, having said that, what is interesting is that in those places, there is kind of a thirst for spirituality. And so there are like, you can you can find those spaces within this big mega law place where you can experience a little bit of what you're saying, but you do need to go in and look for it, because what pops up first, is the New York experience, I would say. Brandon Handley 9:15 Sure, sure. Yeah, absolutely. You got it, you got to kind of you got to look, you got to be on the lookout for it. Right. That's got to be something that you're actually looking for. And then this idea of contribution, you get that sense of I get that I feel that you get that sense of contribution due to some of your upbringing. You want to share a little bit about that? Dr Barbara 9:36 Well, I am originally from Italy. And so Italy is a Christian and Catholic countries for the majority at least, the rooted the culture is entrenched of Christianity and Catholicism, and it is an important value that contribute to the life of others. It is definitely a value there. My family as always taught me that and definitely For sure, I was brought up within that culture. Having said that the profession I am in, so the coaching profession and teaching and training, it is a profession that it is based on the desire to contribute and contribute profoundly to the lives of people that you've come into contact with. So, I would say that it is a big motivator in, in what I do, and in my life, the possibility of contribute, contribute to the growth of people to having people learning more about themselves, and how they can better leverage their resources inside of themselves in order to build and create a better life for themselves and the people around them, and if possible to the world at large. So, I think that contribution is one of the foundations of happiness, I would dare to say as well. Brandon Handley 11:01 100% I absolutely agree. I personally feel like I contribute enough. Right. And when I do contribute, I get that sense of, of, of being a part of the greater sense of all the things, and that, um, I just feel better. I mean, you can't really, there's not a whole lot of great explanation for that. So what I was trying to hit on, I guess, sir, sorry, for not being clear was, I guess your family was active in the anti kidnapping piece. Right. So so so my guess would be again, you just kind of, and, you know, from checking out a couple of other podcasts, that that might have an impact on your desire to as well. Dr Barbara 11:45 Yes, yeah. So yes, when I was, in my early 20s, a family friend was kidnapped by the mafia. And so my father in the community of our town decided to put together a movement that was the first and big anti kidnapping movement in in Italy. And they managed to, with a force with the help of the police and, and the government and everybody, they managed to get several people freed from this kidnapping. And I was late in AI in my early 20s, when this happened, and I had the the privilege, I would say, to really be surrounded by these and breathe into these and see the cooperation of the community and see the impact. And that something, a seed of goodness that you want to do together with anger for something that was wrong and was done, actually was able to create this movement all over Italy. And that, that generated in me the desire of contributing, I at the time, I didn't even know yet what I was and how I would have contributed. But I knew and I felt that was too important. And so in every, every action I took since that moment onwards, I was looking for that feeling for the sensation for that. I was following that desire, I wanted to contribute, as I have experienced my father, and two people off my town did in a very crucial moment in life of our friends, because they were family friends. And and that stayed with me, and it is still there with me. Because it is effective, it is powerful. And when people are you really United for for something good, and to achieve something good. What can be achieved is immense. And so that definitely was an experience that shaped who I am and how I live my life in the world, actually. Yeah, that was very powerful, actually. Brandon Handley 13:57 Yeah, 100%. Right. I mean, that that carry that's, that's the seed right from from a new to continue to to look for contribution. And that to me, again, that's would be why that is so important to you, right, having seen that having the effects of it and having been a part of it. Yeah, we know what that feels like. Right. And you know what it looks like to gather these people together to do some good. Dr Barbara 14:24 Yeah. And also, I would also add that I could witness how easy it becomes when people get together to achieve the same goal. Things simply flow. Of course, you do need to do your part, you need to put in action, lava things, but once all those things are in place, then then the situation moves and moves forward and forces and resources are found and everything seems to flow so smoothly, to achieve that goal. I know Of course, behind that smoothness, there is the willingness and the passion and heart of many people. So there was there was a great lesson. And I was, I'm very grateful that I had that experience. Of course, while I was experiencing that, there were people that were suffering more, because of course, those whose sons or daughters or relatives were kidnapped, of course, that was very painful for them. And in any painful experience, there is, again, somebody that is learning something, and even the, the life of this little girl that was kidnapped has contributed so much to who I am today and my life today, back to what we were saying at the beginning, for those who think that they might not have anything to give or to share, right. So even if you don't know, you are contributing so much to the life of others. So that's probably something that we want to remember. And keep in mind very often, Brandon Handley 16:05 the just the very little things that we can do, and just even a small amount of contact time can have a lasting impression and a long term effect on somebody. Absolutely. Right. Absolutely. Let's talk about what you've got your doctorate and right, so doctor of ontology if if I if I've done my research, okay? And why don't you go ahead and share with the audience what that study of if they're not familiar, Dr Barbara 16:34 yes. So, when we say ontology, we are thinking philosophy, it is within the realm of philosophy, and it is the part of philosophy that studies being so the structure of being and therefore, in my particular case, the take I, I had on that was the how how, what are the structures of the human being according to the philosophical perspective? How do we work? How are we in the world? How do we connect? How do we relate with what is in the world. And that is a very interesting, interesting insight, because philosophy goes deep. And so it my experience, while doing this PhD, was really allowing myself and my brain and my reasoning tool paths that add that I never, never explored, until I could literally feel my brain opening up new neural pathways, because I was the thinking in ways, of course, led by these philosophers, thinking in ways that normally we are not stimulated in thinking. So thinking about how, who are we in the world, what we represent, what we do, when we actually leave, how do we interact, what we are actually interacting with, who is the other person in front of you, and all these elements that I found very, very fascinating. And I, I found them essential, because before studying philosophy, I studied, I said, I started another field of study, I studied architecture for a couple of years. But, and I liked it kind of, but the reason I changed eventually for philosophy is because I realized that I needed to learn more about not how to build buildings and homes where people live in, and how they are structured and how they are, what are the material that constitute those things? How do you put them together and create? Well, I was studying that I was, I was actually thinking, Wait a minute, do I know about the human beings that are going to inhabit this building? Do I know what they are made of? How do they work, what they are about? And I realized that I was more interested in learning about human beings, and then how to build them at home. And so I changed and then my path took me to old way to do this. In Depth research in my PhD on ontology, Brandon Handley 19:19 I think it's pretty entertaining, how you went from, you know, this external structure, right? How are the How are these external structures made? And how are they impact coming from the outside in, and you're like, Wait a second, I want to go to the internal structure, but I want to go see how this structure is laid out internally, and work my way from the inside out. Right? And that's, you know, just my my brief perception of kind of your lifelong journey, I'll synopsis into all that. Right, but the idea to so who were you know, these these philosophers I have two questions. Is it? Is this ontology more of a Western study? Is it Eastern and Western, and then he'll maybe who were a couple of the truly essential ones, or who were the ones that had the greatest impact on you. Dr Barbara 20:17 So, the two there is one philosopher that particularly impacted my life, which is Martin Heidegger and which is the philosophy German philosopher, 20th century German philosopher, and my PhD is on his philosophy. And Meister Eckert, which is a German mystics, and I put the two of them in dialogue on the concept of abandonment, in German Gal hessonite. And, and their perspective and the way I elaborated their concept of abandonment, which is actually a concept of let go and be open to life, ended up meeting with Chinese philosophy at the end, that would have been the continuation of my research, right. But it was very interesting to see how the West meets East actually in in the way of thinking through philosophy, mysticism, and we ended up encountering also a China. So that was quite, quite interesting. So Martin Heidegger would say, and must Meister echoed. Brandon Handley 21:32 And I think that it's also interesting that, you know, you've got this, you know, the let go and meeting with life, right? Because your book has to do with, I would say something similar, you know, you went through, you felt like you were in a decent part in your life, a good part, coming up to a flourishing part. And then next thing, you know, your husband's like, hey, let's get a divorce. And meanwhile, you're like, you're my first guest is like, initially you're holding on for dear life, you're like, no, this isn't how this is gonna work, at least mentally internally, like, No, no, no, no, no, everything's great. But like, now, you're at a point where you let go, you use that material to grow yourself, and you shared some of that material in this book. Let's talk a little bit about the book and, and some of the materials that you shared, what you found in there. Dr Barbara 22:26 Yeah, well, first of all, the paradox was that when I finished my PhD and my a marriage and imploded, Akshay just finished a doctorate on letting go. And here it is, I am immediately asked to experience that let go deeply and profoundly and I would say completely, so, that was quite radical and brutal as an experience also, because as you said, it was out of the blue and it was definitely not what I wanted. And it was the book, which is the unexpected gift, everything was unexpected, to the end, which is the unexpected gifts. So the path the process and, and the ending, if you can see that there is an ending, it is the story of my years 15 years experience in Asia, actually, Asia, Australia and Singapore. And and it starts with it is triggered by my marriage and the breakup of the marriage. But in fact, it becomes a story of how do you discover yourself So, I thought I knew myself I thought I had my what my life figured it out, I had my values, I had my purpose. And suddenly this out of the blue element completely destroyed everything and so, I had to find again who I am, what am I standing for? What do I want? What does my life look like now because what happened basically destroyed all the narratives and the paradigms I was used to consider valid and that what was that they were actually at the foundations of who I was and of my life. So, it was, it was like really suddenly find yourself in the desert inside and out. And having to to figure out what what do I do now? What do I plant? How do I water the soil? How do I move forward, there is desert in front of me. Everything is gone behind me. So what do you do? Where do you start? and ended the book is the stories of my journey and so all the inner steps and outer step. I talk to rebuild, recreate and reef reconnect with myself and the new life that was waiting me in in the future and that clearly wanted to me But it needed some digging, and some experience, it was quite intense. And while I was going through this, I was looking for books that would tell me that it would have been arrived that it is possible that there is a life after these. And I could not find any. And so I decided, you know what, let me write down few of these things that I'm experiencing. And until I reached a point where I decided, Okay, let's do a book, let's write a book, because I want to speak from the future. And now I consider that my book speaks from the future because I went through that, and I'm here with Andy's is the future. So for people that are in this traumatic situation, vinit, the divorce Bennett challenges that have nothing to do with divorce, but they challenge who you are, and your worth, and what you stand for, they can see that there is a way and mind when I write in the book is, it's been what I have found that worked. And so I wanted to share, and I wanted to give my contribution on these as well. Brandon Handley 26:09 all comes back to contribution, doesn't it? So what I think is great is is what you're saying, we identify ourselves so much with the relationship that we have, especially with this significant other because we're building a life together, right? You're building this life together, we've got this kind of we've got this, we've got this picture, scoped out, or futures scoped out, in one way or another. And then when this disruption comes, that whole thing just dissolves, falls away, falls apart. And now really, you start the questioning your own identity, like, Wait a second, how did I miss this whole thing up? Right? And then we start blaming ourselves, right? Again, like, I don't know, if he's, like, I know, I'd be like, I'm like, how did I mess this whole thing up? Where did I? Where did I? Where should I have made a left? Right? And or is this just our past, right? Is this just our path? And now you've got to Colton, you know, you're talking about this, you're, you're in the desert, and it sounds like you've got to cultivate a new sense of self. Dr Barbara 27:16 You have to cultivate a new sense of self and new sense of what's possible. And, and a new sense of responsibility, because I, I, my former my ex husband kept saying, Oh, you did nothing wrong, it is me. But I wanted to have done something wrong. Because if I had done something wrong, then I could do better next time. Right? Right, Brandon Handley 27:39 I'm gonna need I'm gonna need a 360 feedback on this thing. Everybody in who else was there? Dr Barbara 27:48 Exactly. I get you. Exactly. Yeah. And then you figure out what you want to, you do need to think really outside the box, do you did not even realize you were in and, and you define your way of imagining your future? Beyond the narratives you have always Brandon Handley 28:08 thought of? I want to stop there for a second, right? Because I mean, you know, you bring up like this box that you didn't even know you were in just talking about our own limited senses of self, right, our own limited senses, it stops here stops with this story that we've been telling ourselves. Right? Yeah, the end the relationship. And, and just to just to kind of continue in this whole idea, right, like, so. ontology contribution, you know, taking this relationship that you've gone through, and you're, you know, you're deeply, you know, mysticism, studying I akhar. And and on these mystics, and this philosophy, and you're a coach for the business world, right. And I think that sentence pairs really well with the idea of what spiritual dope is about it's about how do we how do we merge those two? Right? How do we take all this? You know, the spiritual sense of well being these these maybe ideal philosophies? And, and how do we apply it to the real world? And I want us back to the beginning here, because it was that sense of contribution. And you were talking about what it's like to get everybody together, right? When you're for for the kidnapping group, right? And how that all work. To me what you were saying there, pairs so easily and readily to the business world, right to to corporate culture, because if you can get everybody to buy into the vision, we can get everybody to say, Hey, I'm contributing, I'm doing my part. I do have something to contribute, and I can see what the vision is. I mean, a pair so is that Yeah, same. Dr Barbara 29:47 For the work I do the leadership work I do and I do on a global scale and the level of depth at which I'm in, I need my clients is such that I made them in their humanity. And so that's in the fact that they before being managers, directors, CEOs, talent said before that everybody is a human being. And once you have an end and discovered and unleash, what is this humaneness, then then there is no job to be done anymore in dissent. And then people are free to really express fully their talents. And we all have so many talents. But we need to be able to free them to see them first and then real, release them. And so what I do, and how do we bring together mysticism ontology philosophy into the business world. And to tell you the truth, while I was going through this situation, I also was leading a research cluster on philosophy, therapy and medicine, and I was researching on pain and suffering. And right then and there working with the oncology department of the hospital, I was finding elements that I was in Hong Kong that I thought they were so important to be brought into the business world. And so I bridged that those worlds as well. So the medicine and pain and suffering into Corporation and into finance. And again, because people in the work, they suffer, they have conflict, they are experiencing deep, profound suffering, sometimes, and sometimes very often. Right. And so approaching my clients, making sure that inner conflicts and the suffering that is not expressed is actually resolved and transformed as what freedom to be the extraordinary leaders or managers are team members that they they need to be in corporations in order for corporations to thrive. And so the way I work, I work at the core of humaneness, and that doesn't matter, right? If you are in a corporation, if you are a lawyer, if you are a mom, if you are podcaster, doesn't really matter, you You are a human being. And that's where we want to work because the resources to stronger resources aren't there, the technicalities of how to be a in finance, how to be a salesperson, how to be a stock broker, that you learn, those are techniques, and you choose to learn them, right. But first, I work on day, humanity. And I invest in human capital, that that's what I do. And so, philosophy pertains to human capital, Mr. System pertains to human capital, all these arts pertains to Human Capital One. So that's the level at which I work. And also, that's also why my experience which starts from a divorce, it is a leadership experience, right? Your life experiencing is your leadership experience. And the in the book, there are foundations of these leadership just because you learn how to lead and lead yourself first, at the best boss in the best possible way, Brandon Handley 33:18 for sure, for sure, give me a I'm really curious to hear the suffering that is not expressed. How, what is something that you do? some exercises, what is do you find you find you find the financial guy, he's suffering? He's not expressing it? How do we how do we help them to express it? What So what are some tools What are some ways that we can help in that space, Dr Barbara 33:45 I can get share an example. When you find and maybe you don't need to be a coach to notice this, but when maybe you have a friend or if you think about somebody that keeps complain about something, and he's very animated and complaining about something and and he's angry about it, that hides behind it to me as a coach, when I hear you complaining so much, there is some some pain and suffering behind that. So, first of all, I need you to become aware that this is something that you are not expressing in the best possible way for you because when I complain about something, I am giving away my power. So what I do I help you to see first of all that you are giving away your power I we look into what is it that you are complaining about that? And what is it to you? What is it that you really mean to say and this is from a cognitive perspective first, but then it is also expressing emotionally because cognitively you can say millions of things and yet you keep complaining and keep being angry. And so you're not really expression, pain and suffering and it is an emotional experience, right? So you need to let your emotions free That's why we use body work. When I do work on these you use your body to express to your body, I use the voice. So singing, and being able to find really the sound of your voice deep sound, deeper sound, and be able to express it in a in a loud voice for a strong tone. Because that's scary, and that is liberating at the same time, but we are not used to express who we are even in suffering so deep inside, so I kind of help my client in this example, first realize that there is some suffering that he is he or she is expressing through complaining in this example, right? And then we go and look behind that. So what is it that actually hurt you and that you are complaining about and often it is not really what they are complaining about? It's something deeper, and that's where the work then started, okay, let's express it with movement, let's express it with the voice. And then once that is released, and therefore, the person does not have a block anymore, then we can start working. And that's when the liberation and the expression transforms into something that it is okay, now, what do I actually want to build? What do I want myself to be what I want my profession, what I want me my life to be? Or how do I want to show up at work instead? So it is a matter of unpacking first? So Brandon Handley 36:32 does it make sense? It does make sense, right? I've got two, two kind of reflections on that. And I'm always reminded, I think it was like, I'm sure somebody said it beforehand. But there's a jack Canfield line that talks about when when you complain, if you're not complaining to the person that can do something about it, it's kind of worthless, right? Like, complain to the person that can help you, you know, do something about it, otherwise, you're just doing kind of what you said, You're, you're you're feeling this frustration, this anger this, whatever. And, and it's this feeling that you carry around with you. And there's really no doesn't no value in that, right. And then the second part, to me is the way that you're talking, it's almost like it's almost like a knotted muscle, right? When you complain, it's like a kind of like a nod and muscle that until you're you know, you can release that you've got a whole bunch of energy caught up in that until you release it, then then you can't really do anything, right. It's kind of useless. Dr Barbara 37:30 Yeah, yeah. And And oftentimes, it has happened to me that, again, moving from the inside to the from the outside to the inside, what needs to be released is has nothing to do with what the person is complaining about. Right? It is more a desire to be maybe just a just aligned, I need to be aligned with my value and what I am doing the work I am doing, the way I'm relating to these clients or to the board is not aligned with who I actually feel I am. And so the work is okay. So how do you evolve so that you can be in the same board meeting, and not feeling this conflict, but being aligned within yourself, your purpose, your mission and expressing it to the board, so that you actually help the organization to move forward and you are not always have involved in this inner fight and in this inner conflict. So that that is what often has happened to me in my in my coaching? Brandon Handley 38:37 Yeah, for sure. Whatever, whatever that person is focused on is really keeping them from being their best, right? I mean, that's just kind of what it boils down to, even if it's not directly related to, again, you're you removed this blockage over here, and you can redirect all that energy into the thing that you're really trying to do. Yeah. Always look at the even the word coach, right? And I always think of coaxing right, as a coach all, you know, all what you're trying to do is really coax the best of that person out of them so they can see it for themselves and they can carry it on forward. Would you say that? Dr Barbara 39:11 I would say that I like to think of myself as a sponsor. When I say quote, I am a sponsor, what does it mean, for me is that I can, I can notice your potential that is an expressed, I can notice your talents, I can notice where you need to be set free. And I help you to I believe in you, I trust you and I help you to actually be free to express fully yourself and to improve who you are and to actually be who you are. That is my job. It is like a gate opener. So but again, opener that trust and belief strongly knew and what you can achieve. So it is really from where I stand is a position where you Hold a space for the other person to express fully. And not only that, but you can see further than the person itself himself or herself, you can help them see what they what they are not seeing. And you can at least you can point them towards something that they are not noticing about themselves that can that is a talent that is a resource. And so that they can actually become aware and leverage that and integrate that in, in who they are and the way they conduct themselves. So coaching, as sponsoring really knew your talents, your resources, your potentials, and what you can be and achieve. Brandon Handley 40:43 Do you make them t shirts, like little sponsor t shirts? I feel like you should I feel like you should sponsor by sponsor. Yeah, that could be a good idea. It'd be fun one right for for at least client gifts frayed. whatever it is they're into. I like the idea of being a sponsor. And I think that definitely resonates. And I like the approach there. So we're at this kind of point, right? That, unless there's anything else that you feel like you want to cover, I'm going to go ahead and ask a couple questions for you. Please go ahead. Right, right. So I got, like I said, spiritual speed dating right at the back end of this, you know, so most of the people that are tuning in there, they're seekers, they're, they're looking for that just exactly that, how can they express what's inside of them outside authentically in alignment, just want a lot of ways that you've been speaking about. So some ways that they may be able to figure it out is by these questions? is Barbara right for you? So let's see his current religion serving its purpose, Barbara. Dr Barbara 41:47 When we say religion, what are we thinking about? monetary stick religion? So the big one, the top three, the top three, okay, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam? are they serving their purpose? I think that there are many people that find in religion, a great tool for them to live a better life feel better, and be a better human being. So I think for many people they do. I believe that religions could do a little bit better, as we all good in terms of speed up a little bit, their evolution, in order to embrace some challenges that today are here and maybe when the religions were born, they were not there. But I would say that overall, they keep been very useful, especially for people that have based their lives on religions. Brandon Handley 42:51 Like that was one or you feel like they could evolve faster as Dr Barbara 42:55 well, for example, and I'm thinking about Chris Catholicism in particular, because that's where I come from, I believe that there is a role that women are is are not given and are not taken, that I think the church need to open up to Brandon Handley 43:15 understand a female Pope. Dr Barbara 43:18 I don't know if I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I would go to the pope immediately, because it probably will take a little bit and but before getting to the Pope, but yeah, I I think that there are roles within the Catholic Church that that needs women more than men. Maybe before for 24 2000 years, there have been always men in those positions. So I think that women, the church would benefit from a president of more women. Brandon Handley 43:55 Yeah, I think that's fair. I think that's fair. As you know, so this is your study space, right? This is this to me, it's me. This is in in your wheelhouse. What is the greatest quality humans possess? Dr Barbara 44:10 The greatest quality humans possess? Wow, we have many. I would say that maybe the curiosity. Curiosity is is a I don't know if it is the greatest but it is a great quality that now we need, especially because we are faced with so much diversity. And so unless we are curious to understand and learn about diversity, we are not moving forward as a community, a global community. So maybe a quality that I think is important that it is great right now is curiosity. Brandon Handley 44:51 So sounds like Yes, that sounds like that's something that can be cultivated a little bit more and be something that Most humans could apply more often, and we could improve. Absolutely. That's awesome. So listen, Dr. Barbara, I've enjoyed this. Thanks for coming on today. Where should people, first of all, like, who would you say is your ideal client? Like, let's say somebody listening in today, you know, who do you think should be reaching out to you? Dr Barbara 45:21 I think it are people that went through important challenges in their life, burn it in their personal life in it in their professional life, and they feel that they have reached their a glass ceiling. And they cannot see what's possible next, and how to reach the next level and how to break through and tap into more resources that they have. So when they are in that point, then they call me because I partner with them. And I really accompany them to reach their full potential and create their purpose, find their purpose, maybe they have, they are already successful, they have achieved a lot. And they ask them so Okay, so now what have money, I have a status, I have a family. And maybe I'm 45. So what's what's, what's next? What is next? So that's when I when I come in? Brandon Handley 46:18 That's when they get sponsored by Barbara. So yeah, they get a T shirt, they get a T shirt. And then I like that too, that you're saying more resources. And but when you're saying more resources, it sounds to me like you're saying these innate resources that you help them to discover yes and apply for themselves. That's fantastic. Dr Barbara 46:38 Which by the way, they are inner resources, then then they they turn out to become outer resources, because when they inner resources are ignited, then we find ways to get outside resources Russian, Brandon Handley 46:51 right, like full on expression, you know? Where should we send people to come find out more about you and work and get they get your book. Dr Barbara 47:02 My book, they can get it on amazon.com both in Kindle and paperback version. And I think the easiest way to find me is on LinkedIn. I am quite active on LinkedIn recently. And also on my website, which is just my name, www dot Barbara, Gala. pets.com. Nobody will remember bad or remember. Brandon Handley 47:25 I will have we'll have we'll have a link there at least and so they won't have to remember it. That's what the internet's for. Short term memory. Barbara, thank you so much for showing up today. I appreciate the conversation. love what you're doing. I love your story, kind of how you got there, the journey and how you are expressing yourself. So thank you. Dr Barbara 47:45 Thank you so much for having me here. Brandon. It was really, really a great honor to have this conversation with you. So thank you so much. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

We invite you to join with us as we start a new series, "Genesis - In The Beginning".  One of the most fundamental of all truths found in scripture is located in the first book of the Bible. Our scripture verse for today's teaching is - Genesis, Chapter 1, Verse 1, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." Let's start off with something we call "the creation equation." It's simple - WHO + WHAT + HOW = WHY. WHO - The book of Genesis makes what we call the "God assumption." God has left us a wealth of evidence that points to His existence - Scripture affirms that in Romans, Chapter 1, Verses 19-20 and in Acts, Chapter 14, Verse 17. WHAT - So what did God accomplish? He created the "heavens and the earth" - literally, everything in the material universe. He is responsible for everything in existence. There are many verses that point to the Creator God, such as Revelation, Chapter 4, Verse 11. HOW - The How is that God spoke the universe into existence. In Genesis 1 there are no less than 12 times where God speaks the universe and creation into existence. He is the Creator, He is the source of all life, and He is the sustainer of all that He has created. WHY - Remember our equation? The Why is the important part of this formula. God's primary purpose for creating the heavens and the earth and everything in them was, is, and always will be for His glory. Check out Psalm, Chapter 148, Verses 1 - 3. At Crossgate Church we have a single purpose, "We make more and better disciples for Jesus Christ." Our highest priority is, "To worship God and focus on His glory."

So you’ve pitched a project....now what? You haven’t heard back from the studio...now What? So now you’ve actually sold a project....now what? So many questions! Butch has answers! Get ahold of me at https://www.butchartman.com Get Mad Hustle now at https://MadHustleBook.com

Michelle Oates: I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel," by Maya Angelou. I am Michelle Oates, and I'm a Tri-Cities Influencer. Paul Casey: Your brain does not see the word "not". So if you're like "I am not going to eat chocolate," you know what your brain hears, is chocolate. So then you start moving toward it, and then you have actually more of a craving for it because the brain doesn't see that word. It's just a fun fact about the brain.   Raising the water level of leadership in the Tri-Cities of eastern Washington, it's the Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast. Welcome to the TCI Podcast, where local leadership and self leadership expert Paul Casey interviews local CEOs, entrepreneurs, and nonprofit executives, to hear how they lead themselves and their teams, so we can all benefit from their wisdom and expect. Here's your host, Paul Casey Growing Forward Services. Coaching and equipping individuals and teams to spark breakthrough success. Paul Casey: Thanks for joining me for today's episode with Mike Miller. Mike is the President of Moon Security here in the Tri-Cities. I always ask for something funny about each of my guests, and Mike's got this legal pad that he's always carrying around. Mike, what's the story of the legal pad? Mike Miller: I have a folder and it always has the yellow pads that I can write stuff on, take notes. I try to make sure I'm following up on stuff, and as I'm looking, hearing, listening to all of the different things that I have to deal with, and things will come to me, I just, "Oh, I'd better write that down," and I write it down for follow-up. So you can always count on me to follow up. Paul Casey: That's good. You don't even have a pocket protector on there. Mike Miller: No, no pocket protector. Paul Casey: But you're tucking it in your polo there. Mike Miller: I always have the pin right at my chest there. Paul Casey: Nice. Well we're going to dive in with Mike after checking in with our Tricity Influencer sponsor. Paul Casey: Barracuda Coffee, born and brewed in the Tri-Cities since 2003. At Barracuda Coffee it's people first, then great coffee. Barracuda Coffee features drinks that are sure to satisfy everyone. Everything from straight espresso to fruit smoothies, lattes, Americanos, and mochas, to lavender green tea or matcha, chai, or chocolate milk, you are sure to find a new favorite from the menu. Try one of Barracuda's signature coffee drinks, like the Fou Sel Caramel, a salted caramel macchiato with French vanilla. It's tres bien, oui! Or the Flapjack. It's just like it sounds, it tastes like breakfast, maple syrup and all. Not a huge coffee fan? Barracuda also has Red Bull infusions with about 20 flavors to mix. For a next level hack try a fruit flavor and add a touch of vanilla. It's a game changer. Barracuda's is on Kellogg Street in Kennewick, or on Van Giesen in Richland, and you can find them on Facebook. Thank you for your support of leadership in the Tri-Cities. Paul Casey: Mike, so our Tri-City Influencers can get to know you, take us through a couple of career highlights that led you to your current position, and throw in there why you love what you do. Mike Miller: Well I've been working for Moon Security since, actually, I was 11 years of age. I'm turning 63 in a couple of weeks, and I will have been there 51 years now, 52 years. You say well how'd you do that? Well, I worked school time and whatnot. So I've been involved with that, I've always grown up knowing that I was programmed to be able to run Moon Security down the road, second generation. We've had other families go, but one of the things that happened along the way is, parents divorced and remarried different people, and the gentleman that married my mother was in security, and that's how we got to meet Mr. Moon, and that's why we have Moon Security named Moon Security. Paul Casey: Wow. Mike Miller: So we have some of that, and when we bought the company from my stepfather then, "Okay Mike, you're the face of the company," and that's how come I'm involved with so many boards and committees across my life. I have served as President of several different entities, including Goodwill, Tricity Chamber of Commerce, or actually their previous name before that, before they changed that name. Then I have served as President for Alarm Association at the state level, and President for the national for a two-year period of time too. I'm a joiner, I'm a connector, I try to help where I can, and that's allowed me to help grow our business at the same time, just because we're involved in so many different ways. Paul Casey: It's funny, when you said "in security" I went "Oh, they're insecure." But yes, so it's a family business. What were some of the dynamics of family business throughout the years? Mike Miller: Speaking of family dynamics and insecurity, there are days when I just don't feel like I'm up to it to the level that I should be when it comes to, how do I deal with certain kinds of family actions, reactions, and people getting upset and all of that. That's a whole different level of, sometimes you just don't want to wish it on anybody. You should be smart enough not to hire family members. Paul Casey: You mentioned you're a joiner and a connector. Is that part of why you love what you do? Mike Miller: First of all, Moon Security itself has been providing security services, products and services, for the last 50-plus years. It allows us to really have a passion for our community we're here to protect. We have thousands of customers that we have protected over the years, and we save lives and properties, and we have stories talking about how systems that worked and got help when the customer or client needed to have help. So that's always a feel-good there for you to have, that you know what you're doing is important. Mike Miller: Then, when it comes to the connecting, I'm a Tricity Sunrise Rotary member as well, and it's really important that we give back to our community, and we can do that in so many different ways, whether it's money, resources, time. And I'm part of a group of people that do that, and we have a lot of volunteers. I'm not doing it alone. The other people step up and do things, depending on what their passion is for who they're wanting to be an advocate for. So I like that, I like to see how other people are doing what they do, and if we can, we can be a part of it. Paul Casey: Yeah, I really like that. I feel like part of your answer was saying that, from this base of stability that Moon has had in our community, that you can then look out at the community and go, "How can we add value". Sometimes when you're at the beginning of an entrepreneur journey, or in a new venture, you can't think out yet. You have to sort of stabilize, get your foundations strong, get your client base strong, and then you can look out. That's usually a sign of, all right, that person's got it together, because now they're reaching out to other people here in our community. Mike Miller: That's a good point, because cycle-wise, life cycle, let's face it, when you're early in the cycle you may not have the cashflow that you can help there, so what do you try to do? You use your brain power to provide, or you use your time to give. And all three are important, so it's pretty exciting when you start to see how you can give. Mike Miller: One of the things that we've kind of verbalized, or I have to myself, is how can we be helpful out there, and we've identified that we really like to be where, is it helping children, is it helping education? For many years I was part of an organization, the Bond Levy Committee, that did work for the Pasco School District. It's a separate entity, not to be wrapped into Pasco School District, but that Bond Levy Committee created lots of dollars by getting people to say yes on who they voted for, for helping build schools. So that helps kids and so forth. My other interaction is with Lourdes Foundation and all the work that we've done there to try to help from a medical standpoint too. You try to be a contributor in that way as well. Paul Casey: I teased you for years of all the boards you're on. Tricity Influencers, this guy was on so many boards that he couldn't even rattle them off to me at one point. So every time he walks up to me now he's like, "Paul, I divested myself of yet another one." So how many are we on now, Mike? Mike Miller: At the time that we talked about it I had 22 boards and communities I was on. Paul Casey: That's right. Mike Miller: So we decided and agreed that I was being stupid about it, and so the real word is, I'm trying to get fired. I try to fulfill my term of office and then it's just like, no, it's time for me to go. You need to get some new blood in there and all. So I think I'm down to five or six now, that I'm pretty active in. Paul Casey: Wow, that's impressive. Well throughout your journey, Mike, you've hit obstacles to success. So what's one of the biggest hurdles you overcame in your career? Mike Miller: Boy, that's always a tough question, because I got plenty of hurdles to deal with. One is just brain power. I've had to recognize ... And maybe wisdom is another. I have several people around me that help support me in so many different ways, within and without the business itself. So it's really important to have ... In my case, I'm a firm believer in having the insurance man, or woman, please no gender issues here, but a CPA, my banker, and my attorney. And you have those four key people, and then I still have some key people that I work with at the office to help keep us going, to be creative. You still have to deal with compliance issues and all of those kinds of things, but I'm not doing it by myself, by any means whatsoever. It's a team effort. Paul Casey: Yeah, hear, hear. We all need that rebar underneath us that helps us do, especially those things that we may not be the best at, but we know somebody else is. They're an expert at that area, so it relieves the load on us, but it also shores up that area of our business. So way to go for that team, that support team, and giving them the credit. Because they really are a support team. And leadership is difficult. Paul Casey: So let's bring it to today, Mike. What's your biggest ongoing challenge as a leader, and what's really stretching you? Mike Miller: It's funny, because we're going through the process of PPP, trying to make sure that we can get everything forgiven, and then of course we're waiting for the bankers and SBA to come out with whatever the requirements are. I'm getting stressed right now on a refinance with our line of credit, and loan activity. That's going to require buying out sisters, and I'll become 100% owner of the company. When they talk about 300 stress points in a year's time, I think I'm at 305. So a lot of things are happening there, and still having sales go, and keeping people happified. Mike Miller: Probably one thing, I've got a new HR manager who's bringing to me the concept of HR as a growth strategy. So we have some technicians who are apprentices, as an example, and they're about ready to become journeymen. So Mike, what are you going to do when you do that? So you go through this process, we're going to get them a vehicle, we have to then have more sales going on to accommodate their cost and so forth, and she's got the and-and question, and I'm going "What?" So she says, "You're going to hire two more apprentices. Because the only way you're going to grow the business is to grow your technical grid. Paul Casey: The pipeline, yeah. Mike Miller: Have a pipeline. Just like what you think of in sales, you've got to do the same thing with your line employees that are out there working their butts off to help grow the business too. So I've been getting to learn through some of those concepts, as well as to all of that. It's been an interesting ride this last year, with my new HR manager. She's awesome. Paul Casey: I love the word happified. It's another word for boosting morale on your team, is to help your team get happified. Well Mike, if you had a leadership philosophy that you would put front and center on a bulletin board in your office for all to see, what would those messages say? Mike Miller: I think one we talk about, it's probably more than just one, but "steady as she goes". In some cases, for us sometimes chaos reigns. You just have to understand that. So how do you deal with that appropriately? My job is to increase revenue, reduce cost, and reduce liability. Some of the other issues that I'll have, that's always in forefront of me, in fact it's on my yellow pad, is having a sense of urgency. When things happen, we need to take care of it and we need to take care of it now. Why? Because it's code compliant, for one thing, and then it's also just life safety concerns that we might have. Then once we know about something then we need to figure out how to resolve the issues, and then recognize that importance, and have clarity and focus to keep everyone going. Mike Miller: Probably the more important thing on all of that is, and I'm terrible at it, I'll put it that way, is to make sure that we're continuously communicating that out to our management group and our employees, that this is how they can contribute to the bottom line. Mike Miller: Probably the other thing I have to work on a lot is just celebrating the 95% that we do good. And what we tend to do is, we tend to concentrate 95% of the time on the 5% that we are not good. So we do have to take care of that 5%, but at the same time, not beat ourselves up so badly. Mike Miller: Then I guess the other one for me is just, what's the plan? I'm getting to that point where other people are in a position where they have to be more hands-on than me. So tell me what the plan is. If you've got a couple different ways to go, I might suggest one way or the other, but just get it done and make the client happy. At the end of the day that's really the issue, is what are we doing to make sure the client gets happified. Paul Casey: That question, what's the plan. I got certified in DISC survey, being able to do that for teams this year. The D style, the lion style, always asks "What". And I think probably the top leader in an organization probably asks "What" more than anybody else. The I style, which I call the otter, asks "Who". The golden retriever, or the C style, asks "How," because it's all about, are we getting along with one another, how are the relationships. Then the S style, or the beaver style, always asks "Why". It's all about the data and the reasons. I just thought that was interesting, the questions that the various personality styles tend to ask. Mike Miller: When it comes to the DISC I think I'm a ... What was C again? Paul Casey: Conscientious. Mike Miller: Conscientious, I'm not sure that's going to be the word. Paul Casey: You've got some D in you. Mike Miller: I'm dominant and controlling, is the big D? Paul Casey: Yeah, you're ID. Most influencers I know have a bit of visionary inside of them, in order to take that next hill. Where do you take time to dream about the future, and what does that look like for you? Mike Miller: I get to go to Hawaii every so often, I really love that. Paul Casey: Oh, nice. Mike Miller: Hawaii is my happy place. You know what, I actually have three groups that are conference calls now, that we do best practices. We will do, "How are you dealing with this HR issue, how are you dealing with job costing, how are you dealing with ..." Whatever the case may be. And we can get input from somebody else. So that's always a coaching, networking, mentoring kind of thing. I can call these people up any time, anywhere, any day, and send out an email, "Help, I'm suffering here," because I can't figure out how to get it going. I go to a couple different security conventions, and they're starting to learn, it's not the product. Most people have a similar product, but it's how you deal with the client, the customer service, and what your approach is, and how you communicate that, and all of that kind of thing. Mike Miller: I think I mentioned, in our last setting that we were to get together, I'm working, reading, trying to go through it, a book called Traction, with ... Paul Casey: Yes, Gino Wickman. Mike Miller: Yeah, okay, Wickman. Trying to be a little bit more specific in terms of the questions that I ask, and how we're getting there, and trying to set some processes in place that way. Paul Casey: It almost sounds like you do your best thinking with others. Is that true, or is there a solitude time as well for things to crystallize in your head? Mike Miller: Probably with others. Like I say ... when I served as President of National, it allowed me to meet all sorts of people all across the nation. So diversity is really a key word there for my ability to be able to grab somebody that I think might have the expertise that would help me and all of that. But I do tend to, when we're away on vacation or whatever, then there's always some quiet time that I am able to get, to allow, just to sit down with my yellow pad, and where do we need to improve, and just kind of cover different areas. Paul Casey: Fantastic. So Tricity Influencers, do you have a group? Do you have a small group of fellow colleagues, maybe there's a mentor in there, maybe there's just a mastermind kind of a group, where you get to play with ideas, and ask those hard questions, and really get some good feedback to make wise decisions? Because it's critical. Mike Miller: A part of that, just do not let your pride get in the way. Paul Casey: Be open to everything, right. Mike Miller: You are going to get some questions that are just going to tick you off and upset you, make you embarrassed and all of that. But sometimes you have to be able to look in the mirror and get that feedback, and then sit down and say "I might have to admit that I suck at whatever," and all of that. You have to be willing and able to take the feedback, and "Let me think about it, and let me come back and see how I'm going to respond to those things." Do not let pride get in the way. Paul Casey: Yep, because "ego" stands for edging greatness out. So if you want greatness, you've got to put the ego aside. Mike Miller: Amen. Paul Casey: Before we head into our next question for Mike, on his typical morning routine, a shoutout to our sponsor. Paul Casey: Barracuda Coffee, born and brewed in the Tri-Cities since 2003. At Barracuda Coffee it's people first, then great coffee. Barracuda features freshly roasted coffees from their own signature roastery, Charis Coffee Roasting Company. With fresh coffee always on the shelf from all over the world, you can taste the distinct floral flavors of Latin American coffees from countries like Costa Rica, Guatemala, and Honduras. Savior the delicate berry notes that are dominant in African coffees from Burundi, Rwanda, Ethiopia, or Kenya. Or go for the full earthy tones of the South Pacific coffees, from Timor, Indonesia, or Sumatra. Ask your barista what's fresh and try something new today. Barracuda has two locations, over on Van Giesen in Richland or on Kellogg Street in Kennewick, and you can find them on Facebook. Paul Casey: So Mike, what is your typical morning routine before you go to work? And maybe if you have any rituals when you arrive at work that helps you start your day out strong? Mike Miller: It's so funny, because I'll actually get up and take a shower, clean ... Paul Casey: We don't need to know those details. Mike Miller: Thank you. After I get my medicine, then I say a prayer with my wife, and then I walk out the door, and I'll have whatever food that I'm going to eat on the way, or pick up. But one of the things that happens is, when I get to the office, then I think people call it email management. So I'm swiftly going through my email stuff first before I get to do anything else, unless there's some crisis that's going on. So it allows me to be able to look and see what's happening, what questions, who's following up with what, and all that kind of thing. And I’m on enough of the email groups in the company, obviously I have to be on all of them, and so there's some that will catch my attention, and I just make sure that they're getting worked on. That's number one priority there, to do it. But then I'll have whatever schedules that I have going. Mike Miller: It's prepping your mind towards, how's my day going to go, good or bad. It's just, that's the day. Then I just try to make sure that I'm working on it, and I fail miserably sometimes, just what's my reaction supposed to be to make sure, what is my outcome that I want to have come out of it. Can't say that it's really anything there. I will have a cup of hot tea as I'm going through all of the stuff, just to kind of relax and get my day in order. Paul Casey: So it's sort of like you're on a vista point looking out at your day, and seeing what the big priorities are, any fires that are going. It's a great first thing to do in the morning instead of just coming in with your hair on fire, and off the races, and then realize at the end of the day, what did I get done today? Mike Miller: That would go back to the yellow pad again. Because I already have my day laid out for the whole week. Then there's stuff that gets filled in. So I'm one of those that, "This is my day, this is how it's going to work," and "I'm going to accomplish this, this, and this." That's a feel-good. Paul Casey: That's right. Eat that frog, get it done. Mike Miller: Yeah. Paul Casey: How do you deal with the everyday grind of your work without burning out? Mike Miller: I try to get proper rest, I'll golf every so often, weekly, and I might sit outside with the dogs and play with them, and just do yard work or whatever. Just something else physically to take away. You know what, burned out, sometimes you can get tired about stuff, and then that's when you have to recognize that you have to schedule a vacation, a three-day, four-day weekend, that kind of thing. It's okay to do that for yourself on there, and whether it's staying at home. Mike Miller: As an example, my wife is, I have 11 grandchildren, and my wife has said "We want to see more of them. I see that you're not really getting ready to retire too soon, so I want some W days." So we take a couple of days, a couple Fridays each month. It could be going somewhere, but it very easily could be just staying at home and relaxing. And that allows us to talk about where we're at, fun stuff, budget stuff, and all of that kind of thing, to just kind of see where we're at, and then how we're wanting to do things as well. Paul Casey: That's a really good one. W days. You'll of course have to name it after your spouse. The principle here, of course, is to have something to look forward to as a couple, because if you see that on your calendar you're like, "I could plow through a little bit longer." As long as I see that time coming, I tend to stack my days very tightly, but I do it on purpose if I see a vacation coming, because then I'm completely off the clock, I'm not going to check my email, and I'm going to pour it into my family. That really helps. Mike Miller: It's called delayed gratification. Paul Casey: Oh yeah. Mike Miller: That's real important to have. Paul Casey: Eat your vegetables before you have dessert, right. Mike Miller: True. My guys that I have, my executive team, they won't let me buy a vehicle. Because we're on a mission for debt reduction and that kind of thing at the office. And I'm going, "Are you sure? I could really use a new vehicle." So I'm running around with an older vehicle. But drives nice. Paul Casey: Because you're keeping your purpose in mind. Mike Miller: That's right. Paul Casey: Love it. And family is a big deal to most people. You mentioned the W days. Anything over the years ... We've got some listeners that have young children, some married, some maybe not married. How do you keep family in that number one slot, and yet still be a high performer at work. Mike Miller: I think I fail miserably in that area. My wife would probably say that, and maybe my kids every so often would too. So maybe I'm the leader in telling you what not to do versus what to do. Paul Casey: Well step out of the confession booth for a moment. Mike Miller: That's right. But I have four kids, 11 grandchildren, and I find that I'm a better grandfather than I was a parent. Paul Casey: Wow. Mike Miller: It's always easier that way, because they get to go home, and so forth. Paul Casey: Sugar them up and let them go. Mike Miller: That's right. But if I were to do it again, I would say not as many boards and committees. That would be one thing. And you need to focus on the growth of your company. It's important that you do serve on some boards and committees, just so that you can do the networking and the service that you want to do. But at the same time, the number one deal here that anybody should be, if you're religious or not, is God, and then family, and then work down three or four. The issue then becomes one of, "Did I do that? No." There has been pain where, if I had done it differently, I wouldn't have that pain. You just have to make sure that, when you're at home then, you're not working at home. Which I tended to do anyway, because it's a full-time job. It's not an 8:00 to 5:00. Paul Casey: Never off the clock, yeah. Mike Miller: Yeah, so you have to be able to make sure that you're committing whatever time. Even if it's a half hour and you have a date with your wife, better not be working, unless you're asking her for advice on something. But you'd better not be working, you need to make sure that you're committing that time to the family that you need to. Paul Casey: Yes. You said the CEO, or the leader of a business, or a leader of a team, focuses on the growth of your company, focuses on the growth of your team. And we can just add on there, focuses on the growth of your family relationships. And I would add on there the focus on the growth of yourself. So leaders are leaders, they're not know-it-alls. You've shared that you go to some groups for wise advice. Who are some others that you've gone to through the years, and maybe still do, for wise advice? It could be literally live people, or live virtual people now, or maybe there's some authors, or motivators or industry professionals, that you tend to draw good ideas from. Mike Miller: Well because of the Alarm Association stuff, I usually get in two, sometimes three different conventions that you're able to go, so you get to hear speakers ... I've got one coming up, it's going to be a virtual one, that's all about, it's from Ritz Carlton, and they are known for their customer service. Paul Casey: Yes, they are. Mike Miller: So it's perfect timing for being able to have something like that. But back again to alarm industry, I have some people that I just called yesterday, probably one of them to see what the heck I was doing and keeping up. So I was able to call him back today and say "Here's what's happening," and all of that, and love you, brother, and on to the next. You have those people that reach out. Same way in Rotary, we have different people that we can talk to and enjoy, and they provide their, if you ask, you'll get them. Mike Miller: By the way, that reminded me of something too, that I think I talked about, was, are you able to learn? I have a couple of guys that, had kind of a rocky relationship when we first met, they're golfers with me, and invariably they were better golfers than me, so I would have to admit that too. But I would have some crappy shots that I did, and I would be upset with myself, and they'd come up to me and ask, "Mike, do you want to get better?" "Yeah, I want to get better." Then the second question was, "Can I give you some advice?" That was an opportunity for them to then, with those two questions, then give me advice. Then they watched to see if I would use the advice. Mike Miller: Then I realized later, I'm a slow learner and it took me a while later to realize that, if I had not tried to use their advice, then they would've said "Well up yours then," and not tried to provide me any more advice. But they saw that. I find that more and more, I've started to use that somewhat too, for asking permission. "Do you want to get better," and, "Can I give you some advice". Paul Casey: That's a real respectful way to go into giving feedback. Mike Miller: Yeah. It's real smooth, and not as offensive and all that. So I get stuff like that from my golfers, from my rotary, from my Alarm Association, from chamber, from our leadership classes that we had along the way. So you can learn something from somebody if you ask the questions to get what you need to have. Again, back to the pride thing, just ask. People are always willing to share. There's not too many secrets really out there involved. Paul Casey: Do you find it's harder, in this virtual world that we're in right now, that people aren't asking as much, because it's yet another Zoom call, or another one-to-one, or have you not seen a dip in the sharing of information? Mike Miller: You know what, I'm on the Tridec board, and we have Carl Dye, he's the new Executive Director, CEO, of Tridec. He's been doing these one-on-ones, coffee with Carl, on Fridays. It's fantastic. I've told him that he's doing a fantastic job for one thing, but the second thing is, it's allowing him to be able to share what other people are doing, so that then they can become a part of that, and it's basic education for all of us that are on the Zoom to watch it. Paul Casey: Nice. Mike Miller: For me, I think Zoom actually has been, in some ways, more efficient. We still miss the social distancing, we still miss getting to see each other and hug and handshake and all of that kind of thing, but in other ways it's allowed us to learn a lot more. So I tend not to look at it as a negative, other than the socializing aspect of it. But we're getting to learn a lot more. Paul Casey: The resources are plentiful. Mike Miller: Yeah. Paul Casey: And if you want to reach out one-to-one, you do have to be initiator and say, "I'm going to build my network," or "I'm going to reach out to my fellow influencers to try to get the best information that I need." Mike Miller: Yep. Paul Casey: Finally Mike, what advice would you give the new leaders, or anyone who wants to keep growing and gaining more influence? Mike Miller: Like I said earlier, don't let pride get in the way. And I really would say, make sure you're having fun. Whatever you're doing, have fun. Make money. It is okay to make money. Make sure you're paying yourself first, make sure that you're paying your taxes and all that so that you can make sure you take care of my social security down the road. Just be willing to listen, ask questions, read, network. Those are all things that come off, those are easy things to say, but do not let pride get in the way of asking what those questions are. You need to be prepared for tough answers, tough questions, that put you on the spot. Then, you don't have to say "I know right now." Let me think about that and I'll get back with you. Paul Casey: That's right, I'll get back to you. Well thanks, Mike, for all that you do to make the Tri-Cities a great place, and keep leading well. Mike Miller: Thank you. Paul Casey: Let me wrap up our podcast today with a leadership resource to recommend. If you're looking for one-on-one questions to do with your direct reports, I always feel like that's a great leadership activity to do each and every week, whether that's with one person or with your entire team, but there are some great questions, one-on-one questions, that great managers ask. And if you go to the website GetLighthouse.com/blog, you're going to find a whole slew of great questions to ask in your one-on-ones to keep them fresh, and to really probe for answers that are going to help your employees develop. Paul Casey: Again, this is Paul Casey. I want to thank my guest Mike Miller from Moon Security for being here today on the Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast. I want to thank our Tricity Influencer sponsor and invite you to support them, and we appreciate them making this possible so we can collaborate to help inspire leaders in our community. Paul Casey: Finally, one more leadership tidbit for the road to help you make a difference in your circle of influence. Oprah Winfrey said "Passion is energy." Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. Until next time, KGF, keep growing forward.   Thank you to our listeners for tuning in to today's show. Paul Casey is on a mission to add value to leaders by providing practical tools and strategies that reduce stress in their lives and on their teams, so that they can enjoy life and leadership and experience their key desired results. If you'd like more help from Paul in your leadership development, connect with him at GrowingForward@PaulCasey.org, for a consultation that can help you move past your current challenges and create a strategy for growing your life or your team forward. Paul would also like to help you restore your sanity to your crazy schedule and getting your priorities done every day, but offering you his free Control My Calender Checklist. Go to www.TakeBackMyCalendar.com for that productivity tool, or open a text message to 72000 and type the word "Growing." Paul Casey: The Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast was recorded at Fuse SPC, by Bill Wagner of Safe Strategies.  

Virgil Tanner, my good friend and one of the best leadership development gurus, talks about how to develop your children into leaders, right in your own house. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights Virgil Tanner has been married for 20 years and is a father of four. He has lived on three continents and currently oversees strategy and global operations for a non-profit with hundreds of staff scattered all over the world. Virgil says, we have to “trigger-proof” our kids. You have to raise a child that can have bad things happen to them or people say mean things to them, and they are mature enough to walk away and be alright. If they are too easily triggered, they can’t become adults or effective leaders in the world today. Cultivate a thick skin and a soft heart. Equip your children with the emotional vocabulary they need to express themselves and they can identify what’s going on with others and are able to address these with words, not by physically lashing out. Develop young leaders with the 70-20-10 rule. Successful development is comprised of 70% experiences reflected upon; 20% guidance and input from other people like mentors, parents, friends; 10% content from books, videos, courses and other materials. Our children will learn more from actual experience than from what other people say and from learning materials they can study. Talking to people about their experiences and giving them materials in support of their experiences can help double or triple their learning. Your kids lives are full of experiences. Address difficult incidents in your child’s life and turn them into a learning experience with these questions: What? So what? Now what? What. What happened? So What. What was significant about it? How are you going to think about it? Now What. What will you do next time you are in a situation like that? As you have the conversation, notice the facts – what are the details of what happened? Discuss how these made you child feel. Finally, notice their contribution to the situation. This focuses their attention on their locus of control. You and your child cannot control what will happen to them in the future, but they can change how they will act in any given situation. These make for a magic conversation that will help make each experience a teachable moment for developing leaders. You can't child-proof the world, so you have to build adults. Click To Tweet Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866 Book: The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd Youtube Channel: Virgil Tanner Recommended Videos from Virgil’s Channel: Lower the Bar; Making Room for Grief and Lament Previous episode: 170: Wisdom for Thriving from a Parent in Lockdown with Virgil Tanner

Meet two people with diabetes making a difference in very different ways. We're talking to dietitian and strength coach Ben Tzeell & teen author Morgan Panzirer.  First, if you've sort of fallen off the nutrition and exercise wagon in the last few months, you’re not alone. But getting back in the game doesn’t mean going to extremes. Ben has advice about starting small and making changes that stick. Morgan was diagnosed with T1D at age 6. She's now 19 and just wrote a book about her life – so far – with diabetes. It's called Actually I Can. Ben's Blood Sugar Boss program Megan's Book (Amazon) This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Check out Stacey's new book: The World's Worst Diabetes Mom! Join the Diabetes Connections Facebook Group! Sign up for our newsletter here ----- Use this link to get one free download and one free month of Audible, available to Diabetes Connections listeners! ----- Get the App and listen to Diabetes Connections wherever you go! Click here for iPhone      Click here for Android Episode Transcription  Stacey Simms  0:00 Diabetes Connections is brought to you by One Drop created for people with diabetes by people who have diabetes, and by Dexcom, take control of your diabetes and live life to the fullest with Dexcom.   This week, I talked to two people with type one making a difference in very different ways. First, if you've sort of fallen off the nutrition exercise wagon in the last few months, you're not alone. But getting back in the game doesn't mean going to extremes.   Ben Tzeel  0:37 Life is too short to not enjoy food like that. And the last thing you want is you're constantly eating air quotes healthy, and now you're feeling deprived when you see all your friends eating these other things.   Stacey Simms  0:47 That's dietician and strength coach Ben Tzeel. He's got more advice about starting small and making changes that stick in Tell me something good. I'm talking to Morgan Panzirer diagnosed at age six. She's now 19 and just wrote a book about her life so far with diabetes.   Morgan Panzirer  1:05 And I vividly remember being in the car driving to New York City The following day, and saying to my parents, everything will be fine as long as I don't need a shot.   Stacey Simms  1:15 The book is called, actually I can, and after talking to Morgan, I can tell you better believe she can. This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Welcome to another week of Diabetes Connections. I am so glad to have you along. Welcome if you're brand new, we aim to educate and inspire about type 1 diabetes by sharing stories of connection. My son was diagnosed right before he turned two. He is now 15 and a half. My husband lives with type two diabetes. I don't have diabetes. I have a background in broadcasting. And that is how you get the podcast. I have been so busy the last week mostly because for whatever reason, sometimes podcast interviews seem to come in clumps. So I had a lot of interviews to do and a lot of production I take care of a lot of it before I send it over to my editor who I've mentioned before, but also I've been busy with my Friends for Life presentation, Friends for Life is the biggest family conference all about diabetes in the US, possibly the world. And instead of having an in person conference this year, like everybody else, they're having a virtual conference. And so I decided, and boy, I thought this was a good idea that I would do my usual game show I usually do a game show presentation as one of my talks for them. But I would do Hollywood Squares because boy zoom just lends itself to Hollywood Squares, doesn't it? That's what I at least what I think of and I gotta tell you, I'm thrilled with how it came out. But I also got to tell you, I'm not sure I'll ever do it again. We had to get eight people I was the ninth you need like a tic tac toe board right for for the Hollywood Squares. The FFL-Wood squares excuse me, that's Friends for Life, FFL. So FFL-Wood squares and I decided to go big and I got people from all over the world, different time zones. Day here night here. Early morning here, it was amazing. So huge credit to my cast of characters. Thank you to the contestants. I cannot wait to share it with you. The conference itself is mid month. If you've signed up for that you'll see it then. And then we'll drop it as a video in a podcast episode. Shortly after that. That's one of the really fun things that I get to do, right. I mean, you have an idea you get to try it. You see if it's a disaster, you see if it's fun, but you know, it's it's never boring, that's for sure. Okay, interviews coming up in just a moment with Ben Tzeel and Morgan Panzirer, but first Diabetes Connections is brought to you by One Drop. One Drop is diabetes management for the 21st century. One Drop was designed by people with diabetes for people with diabetes. One Drops glucose meter looks nothing like a medical device. It's sleek, compact, and seamlessly integrates with the award winning One Drop mobile app, sync all your other health apps to One Drop to keep track of the big picture and easily see health trends. And with a One Drop subscription you get unlimited test strips and lancets delivered right to your door every One Drop plan. Also in access to your own certified diabetes coach have questions but don't feel like waiting for your next doctor visit your personal coach is always there to help go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the One Drop logo to learn more. Unusual show this week and that I have two guests two separate interviews. And if you're here only for one or the other, that is fine. I can tell you that Morgan's interview starts about 22 minutes from now, so you won't hurt my feelings if you skip ahead. But I really think you'll like my first guest, Ben Tzeel. we first talked to him last year. He's a dietician, he's a strength coach. And Ben says eating and living with diabetes should not be boring or feel like punishment. We had a fun conversation about what that really means good intentions about eating well, and exercising and quarantine and more. Here's my talk with Ben Tzeel. Hey, Ben, it's good to talk to you again. Thanks for coming on.   Ben Tzeel  4:53 I'm just so thankful to be here. And it's so awesome. It's just amazing. Thank you.   Stacey Simms  4:58 You're really well. We'll see about But   Ben Tzeel  5:02 it's human. It's human interaction right now we don't have much of that these days do it.   Stacey Simms  5:06 Well, let's start talking about that. I mean, how have you been living since the stay at home orders? What's your life been like?   Ben Tzeel  5:13 I just don't go anywhere. I've been living in Florida, not nothing against Florida, but I feel like the cases go down and then the cases go up. And that's just what you hear about everywhere. And I just figure it's just not something I'd rather really want to deal with if that makes any sense. Do you live alone? I actually live with my girlfriend and fortunately for me, she's willing to do a lot of the grocery shopping and a lot of the day to day stuff at the pharmacy but honestly, we just don't go anywhere because she works in the ICU as a pharmacist and she sees all this stuff firsthand. Wow.   Stacey Simms  5:44 That's gonna be interesting job to have right now.   Unknown Speaker  5:47 Oh, yes.   Stacey Simms  5:49 Assuming that you've been doing this since mid March, yo, how's your health? How are you keeping up because you're pretty intense person when it comes to fitness?   Ben Tzeel  5:58 Yeah, I definitely like to thanks. So it's something where I've had to get creative. I've had to step outside of my comfort zone and really look at what I have and say, Okay, what can I do with what I currently have? And slowly, you can assemble a little mini gym at home and things like that. But I've really, really taken time and effort to focus on what can I do instead of, well, this is out of my control, I guess my fitness is gonna go away. I guess all of my other habits that I've worked so hard to develop are gonna just fall by the wayside?   Stacey Simms  6:26 Well, I think for some of us, those things, the second part, those things have happened, right? Because it is hard to maintain a routine It is hard to, you know, especially when, and I'm gonna get personal here for people like me, you know, you're a strength and conditioning coach, you know, this is what you do. I'm a suburban mom who walks her dog and goes to the gym a couple of days a week. And it's been really easy for me to fall out of those good habits over the last couple of months. You know, do you have any advice? If people are listening and thinking, Well, I haven't kept up so it's too late now.   Ben Tzeel  6:56 Well, it's first one of those things is to your point where you mentioned It's too late. Now, it's never too late to actually start and say, I'm gonna look back and say, This is what I did before, this is what I was doing. And maybe I won't be at that same point right now, because I have let myself fall off because I have fallen out of this routine. But what is something I can do today that small to just build a little bit of momentum. And as you build that you take another baby step, another baby step, and suddenly, you're taking strides to get back to where you were. So if you start from that mindset, and that point, just make that tiny little shift, you end up in a situation where suddenly three, four weeks from now, you're thinking, wow, I'm already almost back to where I was. Because your muscle does have a memory, it is going to remember where you were. And as long as you put in those same habits you previously had, you should be totally fine.   Stacey Simms  7:45 It's funny when you talk about, you know, getting back into routine because I think at the beginning of this, I don't know if this happened to you, me and my daughter, and I think a lot of people and my daughter came home from college, and we said All right, we're going to do yoga on YouTube. We're going to walk the dog like five miles every day, and we're gonna get really, you know, in great shape, we have a stationary bike, and we're going to do all these bikes and all these rides and, and we really haven't done much of it at all after those first couple of weeks, and I've seen some really funny parody videos on that and a lot of people who have felt this way, but I want to flip that around and say you have taken as you said, You've gotten creative in your house, can you tell us a little bit of some of the things you've done to make your your home gym, I'm assuming that you didn't run out and buy a whole bunch of, you know, gym radio equipment?   Ben Tzeel  8:29 No, I was fortunate that I my parents don't live too far away. And I had a bunch of dumbbells and a bunch of things from my youth that I was able to pick up. But beyond that, I mean, I was pretty much in the same situation that everybody else was where I had a few resistance bands and a few dumbbells and a few little things and had to start realizing. All right, well, I want to keep my insulin sensitivity good. I want to stay on this track of that I've been working so hard to be on what can I do. And so maybe that requires you sitting down and saying Alright, I'm going to restructure my workouts, I'm going to tell myself maybe I was doing four days a week before an upper body and lower body, you can still do that. But you may have to adapt. Instead of using a cable, you may have to use a band instead of using like a barbell or instead of using a heavier weight, you might have to go more reps at a lighter weight, or incorporate pauses or incorporate other bodyweight movements that can be just as challenging. And honestly, the first few weeks of the quarantine, stay at home, whatever you want to call it. I actually felt like I was more sore than when I was in the gym because I had to push harder.   Stacey Simms  9:34 You've mentioned your blood sugar several times you've lived with type one you were diagnosed when you were a kid. I've heard two schools of thought here over the last couple of months. One is you know, my blood sugar's are all over the place. I'm stressed out I'm so worried and you know, things are crazy. And then the other side of the coin is my blood sugar's have never been steadier. You know, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not eating restaurant food, where do you fall in on that?   Ben Tzeel  9:56 I would probably fall. That's it. I mean, I'll Honestly, it's a good question because I see it a lot from the first perspective. So I feel like I then kind of translate that to me. But it's actually my numbers have been in better control since this all began. Because there haven't been as many extraneous factors. I'm not going places. There's lots of unknown variables introduced. But I just I feel for a lot of the people that are in the first situation because there is that lack of routine and that lack of structure. And while everybody says, Oh, I, I wish I could be home more, I wish I didn't go to my job. Taking that structure out of the picture can really make it difficult to stick to that exercise program really stick to the food and the nutrition that's been making you feel good with good blood sugars, and you ultimately fall off that path. And when you do your blood sugar's kind of take over everything else. And during a time where there are no sports, there's not lots of distractions, there's no big gatherings, there's no concerts, your blood sugar's can literally become the one thing that you hone in on and focus on way too hard.   Stacey Simms  10:55 That's funny because I thought you were gonna say there at the end that you can really you can focus on And really make a great difference. But you said you focus on and you know, it can it can not be a great thing. Can you expand on that last thought?   Ben Tzeel  11:08 Sure. And I mean, of course, I can tell you it, there's ways to get around it. But a lot of people what will happen is, I mean, think about it like because there aren't tons of social things to be doing. And there's not tons of activities and tons of distractions, you start to look at the few distractions you have in your life. And one of them would be, I wouldn't call diabetes, a distraction, but it's one of the big prominent parts of your life if you have it. And it just starts to become a bigger and bigger and bigger thing that you just the more you focus on it, the more it expands and the bigger role it can take in your life. So I've watched a lot of people people I've worked with people I've interacted with on social media, that they end up in a situation where their blood sugar's just take over their entire existence where they're looking at their decks calm every five minutes, wondering what's going to happen and sometimes that leads to great results, but other times, it just drives people crazy. He drives up their stress level and they get into this loop of frustration. Oh, my blood sugar's high. Oh, I'm a failure and they go down the spiral that is very counterproductive in terms of living like a really as free of a life as possible to do right now.   Stacey Simms  12:14 Yeah, I would also echo that for parents as you were listening. I think it's super easy. And I found myself doing this too, with Benny home a lot more. It's easy to focus on our kids blood sugar's more, right? They're not going anywhere. They're not go to the movies, they're not hanging out with friends. And it's easier to make that a bigger focus than it needs to be. So I'm kind of listening to this and taking it to heart. But you know, one of the things you're really known for in social media is these these crazy foods, right? We talked about this last time when you were on, you know, giant donut, big meals and stuff. And I'm curious if there's, you know, we often figure especially newly diagnosed, we often find out that we love restaurant food because it's full of hidden fats and sugars and you know, salt and butter and all those delicious things that We love and that's what makes restaurant food so good. But it's kind of hard to bolus for that stuff. Are you finding it easier? I mean anything on that in terms of home cooking, which I'm so sick of Ben, I am so tired of cooking. And my husband helps if he cooks too, so I'm just sick of it.   Ben Tzeel  13:13 Well, I can't blame you for being sick of home cooking because it gets to a point where I'm probably three months or so from having had something from the outside. And it's I'm just craving something   Stacey Simms  13:26 brought in a meal. You haven't brought anything in.   Ben Tzeel  13:28 I just maybe I'm paranoid, but I just I just would rather be like, you know what, at least I know, I'm dealing with the prep and I'm dealing with everything else. And when this starts to settle down, then I'll start to venture out and have all of the fun food again. Not that I haven't had fun. Trust me. You can make many fun things at your house. I know what you're making.   Stacey Simms  13:45 Yeah, no, I have friends who haven't brought any food in. I mean, we're not in that camp, obviously. But I know a few people who've done that   Ben Tzeel  13:51 Emilio wants me to really bad so we're working on it. We're in a negotiation right now. But to your point, I would say when you know All of the factors within what you're eating. So of course, you know that you've prepped it, you know, what you've put into it, you know, everything and everything. And there's no variables, there's no question marks. And we're not talking about the COVID part, but just about the actual composition of the food itself, then it's a lot easier to bolus for because you have all the answers. You have all the math right there when someone else creates something, even if it's something that, you know, Oh, I know, this is a bacon double cheeseburger, and I know I've had them before. And this is what happens. There's some sort of variability because that part of it is out of your control. And that lack of control can be difficult to account for granted. There's ways to take it in to consideration and be able to say, all right, this is what I'm going to do based on experience based on other knowledge, like put numbers and experience together and make a very educated decision and dose and do amazing with it. But just that little factor of there's other stuff in here there is that hidden fat you were describing. There's sometimes things are cooked in, in oils we don't know about there's sugar that might got thrown in there that you don't know. And then you end up eating some foods like that and you get frustrated you you have chicken alfredo and your blood sugar goes up to 320 for the next seven hours, no matter what you do no matter what you dose and you're just full of frustration the whole time.   Stacey Simms  15:14 So you work with a lot of people with type one and your background is nutrition. You have a master's degree, you're registered dietitian. I'm curious what the first change you urge people to make when they come to I know not everybody's the same. But you know, one of the questions maybe that you ask,   Ben Tzeel  15:30 I guess, coming from me, the first things I want to know is where people are starting out right now. Like, what are you eating? and kind of just getting you aware of what are you eating because as evidenced during this time, and this time, please put a magnifying glass on it more than anything else. But people kind of just go through the motions. They don't pay as much attention to, oh, I'm eating X, Y and Z. They just say oh, I'm gonna make whatever I can grab and I'm just gonna go for it and eat and then continue and a lot of people can't tell you what they ate for lunch yesterday. So my first goal is get them really aware, what are you eating? Start to kind of get a sense of it and then get them understanding. Are you making the meals complete? Are you getting your proteins, your fiber, your veggies? Are you getting them to the point where you're getting the nutrients that you need for both the body composition that you want, but also for the blood sugar control, because once you have the blood sugars and control, the body comes a lot faster, whether you want to lose weight or get strong. And once the blood sugars are controlled, you can do all the things in life that you really want to be doing.   Stacey Simms  16:30 I'm always worried about talking about diets, right? Because people want to lose weight, they go on a diet, people try all sorts of different things. We've talked about this in the past to me low carb, high carb, whatever it is, what do you find works overall, in general, for the people that you work with.   Ben Tzeel  16:45 For the people that I work with. I've had people on 400 grams of carbs, I've had people on 40 grams of carbs. The most important factors that I've noticed are getting enough protein into your life and I know a lot of people are concerned Oh protein is going to Your kidneys. But all the research, if you dig into it has shown that a higher protein diet is actually advantageous to the kidneys. I'm not saying you need to eat like five chickens a day, but at the same time, a substantial amount of protein. I would also say making sure you do get the fiber. That's why I tried to hit on those big three the protein, the fiber than the veggies, the fiber is going to be important whether you get that from veggies and fruit or whether you do get that from some grains. Some people do well on a decent amount of carbs. Again, it's that carb side of it is preference and everyone in diabetes is so fixated on it, when I can't stress enough where people that I've worked with are super successful on all levels of carbs, but having the protein, having the fiber, having enough of the veggies, those three things and then the other thing would be the 9010 rule. And that would be something where I would I don't know if it's actually a rule I may have made it up but it's 90% of the time you're eating on point you know what you're doing, you're making quality choices and that other 10% of the time you're enjoying the sunset You're enjoying the desserts, you're enjoying the finer things that life has to offer. Because life is too short to not enjoy food like that. And the last thing you want is you're constantly eating air quotes healthy. And now you're feeling deprived when you see all your friends eating these other things. And as long as you have a strategy on how to dose for it, so your blood sugar is going to be ultimately good. There's no reason to deprive yourself of having that and so many people are living limited in that scope of I can't have that because I have diabetes, that food scares me. This is awful. Like, I wish I could have that and you can have that. But allowing yourself that wiggle room of 10% that is usually enough to say hey, I'm gonna get the results I'm putting into a effort 90% of the time to get the blood sugar's get the body but then the other time I can enjoy everything.   Unknown Speaker  18:50 What's your big favorite 10% fool?   Ben Tzeel  18:53 That's Oh, that's a loaded question. I was gonna say there's a restaurant here called dance and dance. And Tampa has these loaded nachos that are so good. They're like a once every six month kind of thing, but they've got like the cheese and the pulled pork, and they've got the beans and they've got the ground beef and honestly, it's actually not a terrible meal in general but there's just so it's so calorie dense. That would be one cookie dough for sure would be one. The edible cookie dough not like cookie dough. That's raw eggs. And then Honestly, I have to say this but have you had cookie butter before? I have not had cookie pokey buttered so I love cookie. What is it cookie butter? It's I don't even know how to describe it. There's like this. I know the first time I had it was from Trader Joe's and then they have some everywhere apparently I didn't know it was a big thing. But it's literally like the butter form of cookie. It's like imagine peanut butter consistency but it tastes like a cookie and it's basically straight fat and straight sugar. But it's so good. Oh my God. That is my guilty pleasure. I will not lie. That's It's so good. That Great,   Stacey Simms  20:00 okay, he's got some advice. We've You know, we've gotten some insight into how you operate. I know you have a new program that you're working on, tell us what this is all about. How can people take part?   Ben Tzeel  20:11 Absolutely. So I have a program called blood sugar boss, because everybody wants to be a blood sugar boss, you want to be in control of your blood sugars and in control of your life, getting the body that you want, and literally living life without any kind of limits. And so the premise is, you're going through and restaurants become no big deal. You can walk into a restaurant by the end of this and point out what you want on the menu and say I want that and know how you're gonna dose for what your game plan is going to be. No questions asked, like the on the exercise side of things with respect to blood sugars going low constantly, that part's eliminated. You know, you go and exercise no matter what you're doing. We're eliminating the lows. we're eliminating the highest you can truly do what you want to do without having any concerns and actually focus on The exercise instead of Oh my god, what is my blood sugar going to do? Then of course talking about the food side of things to make sure that you know what choices need to go into that 90% what choices need to go to that 10% and when you do go in that 10% How to dose so you're not concerned? Oh, man, I'm going to be 300 for the next six hours. I know exactly what to do for that. I mean, we're going into travel when travels the thing again, you know, we're making sure that you go on a trip, you're like, Okay, instead of vacation being stressful, this is no big deal. We're hitting everything on all different kinds of angles. And by the end of it, you can walk away from it saying, I am in control, no situation will faze me and this is literally everything I need to know about diabetes, and I forgot one of the other big things were kick starting your metabolism up. So you're going to be able to be prepared to get stronger and lose weight. At the same time. I'm curious you you share a lot as I mentioned on inside on social media, and the other day, I saw you share a post where you were over 300 for a while, you know, you had I think it was at a Ben canula or something like that. Are you concerned that when you share something like that, right? Do you get feedback from people saying, how could you that's so dangerous? Or, you know, how could you let that happen? I'm curious what kind of feedback you get when you are that transparent, because, you know, we all know that's gonna happen, right? And I think if there's a lot of people out there that go on social media, and they act a certain type of way, and they say, Well, my blood sugar's are great all the time. And my numbers are always the decks combined, it's flat, and everything's awesome. And that's cool. You can share that. But that's just sharing the highlight reel of life. People are almost afraid to show the authentic side of the side of them that shows I'm human that I get that annulus to these things do happen. And so I feel like by showing that, it's like, Look, I'm not perfect, I've never been perfect, and there are people out there who I'm sure have had that situation happened to them. And if anything, I think it makes you more relatable. And it's okay to put yourself out and say, Hey, this does happen to everybody. Oh, my goodness, you can eat the same thing at the same time every single day and get a slightly different result. So, in that situation, it's part of life. Everybody goes through it.   Stacey Simms  23:15 Before I really let you go, I had to laugh when you said blood sugar boss. Because when Benny was was little, I mean, he was diagnosed before he was two. So we had to use all these, like really kid friendly ways of talking to him about diabetes. And I remember when he was about four or five years old, we started talking to him about like, being the boss of diabetes, you know, and little kids like to boss stuff around. Little kids have no control over anything, right? Everybody tells them what to do and where to sit and when to wake up, or when to go to bed and what to eat. So they have no choices, and sort of get to be the boss of something was really cool for him. And then the flip side of that was I had to say to him, Look, if you were if you're not the boss of diabetes, it's going to become the boss of you. And it really worked for a long time to help us teach him and but it's so funny. I forgot all about that. Until you mentioned The name of your program. So thanks for bringing that memory back up. It wasn't something that I had remembered. But it's so important because if you don't take control over it, you mean, you have no choice, it will take control of you.   Ben Tzeel  24:11 Absolutely. And that's, that's the whole goal here is like you said, you have to be the one that's saying, I am going to actively take control over this because otherwise your life is run by diabetes, whether you allow it because you allow it to you don't take back the power from it, and you don't say, this is my life, this is what I want to do. And if you don't actively make that decision, it's gonna make it for you. And you don't want someone else or something else. In this case, diabetes making that decision for you want to live life on your terms. So you need to make sure that you are a blood sugar boss.   Stacey Simms  24:43 I love it. Well, thank you so much for joining me. Thanks for sharing the program all the best with it.   Ben Tzeel  24:47 Oh, thank you so much. I'm just glad to be able to help more people in our community and I'm just thankful for the opportunity to chat with you as always, that's always an awesome time on here.   Unknown Speaker  25:01 You're listening to diabetes connections   Unknown Speaker  25:03 with Stacey Simms   Stacey Simms  25:06 more information about Ben's program blood sugar boss in the show notes and I'll link up his Instagram account as well now I'm gonna have to go back and look now because I do get a kick out of the bonkers food that he posts like these big portions and you know wild desserts and things once in a while, but I'm thinking now he said that they had been eating at home and creating their own stuff since the stay at home order. And now I really want to take a look and see what they've been making because we've been cooking a ton I think just like everybody, right? But I haven't been baking or making desserts. My daughter I have an 18 year old daughter and she likes to bake and she's been making cookies and brownies and stuff like that, but I'm not getting creative when it comes to desserts. I like to eat desserts, but I'm not making at this point. I am barely making dinner. I am so sick of Okay. All right. Well, you know good problems to have, I suppose. The author of the book actually I can is our Tell me something good this week, but first Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dexcom. And we've been using the Dexcom G6 since it came out two years ago now, and it's amazing. The G6 is now FDA permitted for no finger sticks for calibration and diabetes treatment decisions. You do that to our warmup and the number just pops up. I know it sounds funny if you're newer to Dexcom but we've been using it for seven years now. And when you're used to calibrating you know, and not getting that number automatically, it really does. It just seems so different. The G6 has longer sensor we're now 10 days and the new sensor applicator is so easy to use, but he does it all himself. Of course we love the alerts and alarms and we can set them however we want. If your glucose alerts and readings from the G6 do not match symptoms or expectations, use a blood glucose meter to make diabetes treatment decisions. To learn more, go to Diabetes, Connections comm and click on the Dexcom logo.   Morgan Panzirer is our Tell me something good this week she was diagnosed With type one when she was six years old, that's obviously not the good part. She is now 19, a college student who would like to become a pediatric endocrinologist. Now her sister also lives with type one. Morgan started writing the book that we're going to talk about here in middle school. It's called actually I can, Morgan was great to talk to you. She was very patient with my questions and my ignorance about equestrian sports. Here's my interview with Morgan Panzirer. Morgan, thank you so much for spending a few minutes with me. I'm really excited to hear the stories behind the book. Thanks for coming on.   Unknown Speaker  27:32 Yeah, of course. I'm so happy to be here.   Unknown Speaker  27:34 What gave you the idea to write this book?   Unknown Speaker  27:37 I started writing it in seventh grade for two main reasons. The first was I was fed up with all the misconceptions that people with type 1 diabetes hear every day, for example, Oh, you got diabetes, because you ate too much sugar things along those lines. So I decided that maybe if I could tell my story, I would be able to kind of change the way the general public views this disease. The second reason I wrote it was because I really wanted to empower others living with Type One Diabetes and show them. That doesn't have to be something that holds you back. Rather, you can use it as an opportunity to do whatever you want to do. So   Unknown Speaker  28:14 you started writing in middle school, but you were diagnosed at age six, much younger than that. Do you remember your day? Your diagnosis story?   Morgan Panzirer  28:21 Yes, I'll never forget. It is so clear in my mind. I had been drinking and peeing a lot. So my mom knew the signs of Type One Diabetes because she was a nutritionist. Yeah, so my mom knew the sign. So she decided to ask my pediatrician to test me just to humor her. She was sure it was nothing but she said, just test it anyway. So she did and a couple days later, my pediatrician called us I'll never forget exactly where we were in the car. And she said to my mom, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but Morgan does have type one diabetes, and my mom just immediately started crying. We were all shocked. We went to the Naomi berry Diabetes Center at Columbia the following day. And from there, it was just, let's get through this.   Stacey Simms  29:07 So your mother was a little bit familiar with it, but in being a nutritionist, but I can't imagine you knew at all who you're in for, and especially at age six,   Morgan Panzirer  29:15 no, I had no idea. And I vividly remember being in the car driving to New York City The following day, and saying to my parents, everything will be fine. As long as I don't need a shot. Little did I know, every day of my life, I was gonna have multiple needles among the finger sticks and other things. So my parents didn't really know how to explain it to me, and it was definitely a rude awakening for the next few days to come. When you started writing, did you share it with anybody else? Was it just for you at the time? Yes, it was just for me at the time. No one. I didn't really tell anyone about it. No one really knew that I was doing it at all. I was very private about it. But as the years went on, I eventually decided to tell my parents and they were like, you are What? So it was kind of fun. It was. It was a long process. But yeah, the beginning it was definitely just a very personal thing for me. And then your younger sister was diagnosed as well. What was that? Like? How old was she? How old were you at the time. So she was 13 when she was diagnosed, she's now 16. So I was 16 when she was diagnosed, and that just broke my heart because I had had diabetes at that point for 10 years. So I totally knew what it was like, and it made me think I would not wish it on anyone, especially someone in my own family. So to see her kind of struggle with it, and because she was diagnosed a lot older, I think it was hard for her to kind of get through it because she knew and remembered and understood what life was like prior. And now the fact that you have to make put so much thought into eating an apple, I think really kind of threw her for a loop, but I was really happy that I was there and could kind of show her the ropes and show her that this doesn't have to be the end It won't stop her. She doesn't want it too.   Stacey Simms  31:02 It sounds like you have a really good relationship with your sister. But you know, it's gotta be hard to you know your sister. So I don't want to make it like it was a perfect relationship, but due to diabetes in some way for you closer, I mean, I kind of hate that because it's a cliche, but you to share it and experience that nobody else in your family could really understand in the way you were going through it.   Morgan Panzirer  31:21 Yeah, it did. I would definitely say that it brought us closer. I mean, we always had a great relationship growing up. I mean, she was the only other girl in the house besides my mom. So we did everything together anyway. And we did have a really good relationship. But this definitely was something that I could share with her and I couldn't really relate to something like that with anyone else. So I think we, I mean, we don't talk about it a ton, but it is something that if I'm having a terrible day, I'm like, Oh, this stays the worst. And she's like, Yeah, I know what you mean. So I think in that way, it definitely makes it easier for sure.   Unknown Speaker  31:57 Okay, so you grew up in a household where After your diagnosis, your parents jumped in with both feet for advocacy. And they jumped in in a way that is unique because your dad is a trustee of the Helmsley trust, which is a as you listen, if you're not familiar, just an unbelievable funder of so much Diabetes Research and so many diabetes advocacy causes and effect. We had your dad on the show last year, but he is a very passionate person, as you know, Morgan, where he was really talking about the need for better education when people get great diabetes devices. And you know, trying to help in that respect. What was it like to know that what happened to you affected what your parents did with their lives? I mean, there's put so much time and energy into this cause,   Morgan Panzirer  32:39 oh my gosh, yeah, it was unbelievable. I mean, my dad became a trustee shortly after my diagnosis. So again, at six years old, I had no idea what that meant. But as I grew up and saw the impact he's having on this community and everyone with this disease, I'm so grateful that he went this way because I really do believe that he's making enormous differences in this community. I've already seen tons of new technologies that have come out, in part, thanks to his funding. So I'm so grateful. And my mom actually has she's a big runner. So she's run numerous half marathons and marathons with jdrf to raise money. So the fact that they're just all in for me and my sister is, there's no words to describe it. It's unbelievable. You've been able to do a lot of things yourself. You were a children's Congress with jdrf. That was in 2009. So how old were you when you did children's Congress? I was eight when I when was that something that was meaningful to you? Yeah, it was a really monumental event, I think because it really marked the beginning of my advocacy. And especially being that little I didn't really understand that I could make a difference prior to this. But when I got there and saw oh my gosh, all these kids are going through the same thing I'm going through and look at this difference we're making on a national level, I think it really showed me that I did have the ability to make a change if I wanted to, and if I set my mind to it. So it was definitely a big step for me and understanding that I had the ability to make a big change for everyone with this disease. And it definitely marks the beginning of my advocacy, as I mentioned prior.   Unknown Speaker  34:19 So tell me about advocacy for an eight year old. I know because I just people listening are kind of thinking like, well, what else? You know, there's children's Congress vote what really can an eight year old do?   Morgan Panzirer  34:27 It was crazy because we're at Children's Congress. We're talking to our senators. I didn't even know what a senator was. I was like, Who are you? Like, you seem really important, but I don't know what you do. Um, but it was really just a place for me to learn and understand and it opened a bunch of doors for not necessarily when I was eight years old still, but when I was older, it really just allowed me to understand, okay, I can do this and I can make a change and talk to these super important scary people. If I want to so I wouldn't say necessarily started my advocacy at eight years old, but it definitely opened that door and set that path or the years coming up.   Stacey Simms  35:10 So in the book, actually, I can you mentioned, you know, sugar and misconceptions.   Morgan Panzirer  35:15 Are there actually, as I say, actually, are there questions that that really have followed you that you would answer? Actually, I can. Oh, there's so many. It's funny, you should say that. Because one of the chapters towards the end of the book actually has a bunch of things that I've heard people say prior about this. And my answer to each of them is actually I can so that's really funny. You should bring that up. So yeah, it's all surrounding kind of the sugar aspect. And that always drove me crazy. Like, oh, you Sorry, you can't have this ice pop. It's not sugar free. And to that, I would say, Actually, I can. So it's really funny that you should bring that up.   Stacey Simms  35:53 Well, I mean, it's something that I think many people with diabetes experience over and over again to the point where you have to decide Are you going to be annoyed and be sarcastic? Or say nothing? Or am I going to be annoyed and continue to educate? Right and that second one, even just as a parent of a child with type one, I try to choose the second one as often as I can, but it really does wear on you. So when I saw the name of your book, I was like, totally can relate.   Morgan Panzirer  36:19 Yeah.   Unknown Speaker  36:20 And you ride correct. That's your sport is, is I'm gonna say it incorrectly as horseback riding.   Morgan Panzirer  36:26 Yes, that is my sport. How do I say that? What's the real sport? equestrian sports? Thank you,   Unknown Speaker  36:33 bro.   Unknown Speaker  36:35 I've not talked to somebody with type one who is you know, involved in equestrian sports. Can you tell us a little bit about how you go about doing that? I mean, because obviously, there's got to be equipment, requirements of the sport and concerns about a pump and a CGM. So   Morgan Panzirer  36:50 what do you do? Absolutely. So I started writing actually right after my diagnosis, and at the beginning, it was fairly easy to manage my blood sugar's Because I was young and just doing beginner things, but as I got older and obviously I started wearing a CGM a little later I got a little more difficult because I was riding for longer I was doing more difficult things. So it became a game of trial and error to kind of find the balance of Okay, I need to cut back my Bazell this this much time prior to getting on and then afterwards, I should sip on a Gatorade. So it was a big game of trial and error that definitely got frustrating at times. But then the whole other battle was at horse shows because when you horse show, you're not allowed to have a phone or any sort of electronic device on you. So I'll never forget there was this one show I was competing in and I go in and I do my course. So I do the jumpers for anyone that knows. So I go in, I jump my course and I come out and the judge walkie talkie over to the end gate where you enter the ring and said she has to be disqualified because she has a phone on her and I was like I don't Promise you like, I'll show it to you. It's not a phone. So they ended up being understanding but after that I had to really be conscientious about prior to stepping in the ring, having the person that was managing the in gate radio over to the judge and say she's that does not have a phone. She's wearing an insulin pump. So that was something I found really interesting. Um, but yeah, it was it's definitely an interesting sport to have type one and do for sure. Well,   Stacey Simms  38:28 you know, and obviously, you had to educate them and now hopefully the next time somebody comes through that way, they would know that a pump isn't a phone, but I'm curious too, you know, obviously writing horse is not driving a car, but it is one of the few sports where you're, you're not alone, right you have to stretch but work with me here. In a way you're you know, you're controlling the horse you're in charge, you have to be in your you have to have good enough diabetes control, that you know, if you're going low, you can Have you could have an accident you could get seriously injured for sure. Yeah. I mean, that's got to be something that I know your parents would be worried about. But as an athlete, it's it's a little bit more consequential in a way than like my son. He's played every kind of sport but if he goes low and basketball, he's probably you know, he's just gonna get himself off the court. He's he's not taking a horse   Morgan Panzirer  39:21 Yeah, it's, it's interesting because there have definitely been times where I'm so invested in riding and what I'm doing that I don't even realize how low I am. So I really have to be careful and always be watching I wear my Apple Watch which is a huge help because I just clicked the Dexcom app and my blood sugar pops right up. So that's made it a lot easier but as you said, there's definitely an added component of stress because if something happens to me, I'm either a gonna fall off and get seriously hurt or be by horses going to be running around loose in the ring. So   aren't really ideal circumstances. For sure,   Stacey Simms  40:00 my apologies to you and anyone listening who is familiar with equestrian sports hearing me painfully make my way through trying to describe. But I appreciate it. Obviously, your parents have read the book, and they must be so proud of you. But was there anything in there that you thought? I don't know if I want my parents to read this? Are you? I mean, I know it's nothing terrible. But you know, in terms of, I think sometimes the people I've talked to with type one, are worried that they're going to make their parents worry more, even as adults, they just don't want their parents to worry. And I was curious if that went through your head at all, as you were releasing this book?   Morgan Panzirer  40:35 Yeah, I mean, there's one chapter in particular that comes to mind where I'm just very raw about my emotions. And at home, I'm not someone who's like that. I'm very quiet. And if something's bothering me, I'll go to my room and deal with it there. So I think putting that all out on paper and having that kind of out to the world and then have my parents read it. I don't want to say I was hesitant, but it was it was interesting because I didn't really know how they were going to react to me being like, Oh, I broke down into tears because they don't usually see me do that very often. So I was, I was a little scared as to what they would think like, Oh, no, is she like crazy at our room? Like what is she doing all the time, but I think they just they were very understanding like, if this is how you want to deal with it, this is how you deal with it. You do whatever you need to do.   Stacey Simms  41:25 When I was looking it up on Amazon earlier, I laughed because you know, Amazon has that if you bought this, you might buy that or, you know, bought and there was my book, there was the world's worst diabetes mom and a bunch of other great diabetes books too. But I laughed because I guess with the teenager in the parenting, maybe they put it together. You know, the world's worst diabetes mom is not about really being a terrible parent. It's about the insecurities that we as parents have when we make mistakes with our kids. I'm curious for you. It sounds like your parents gave you an awful lot of independence and had a lot of confidence in you and I Assume your sister as well. Any message for parents of kids with type one who think we're just messing up and we're the worst?   Morgan Panzirer  42:07 You're not the worst, I can start by saying that. I think I would say try to give your child as much independence as possible without making it unsafe. My parents, as you said, gave me a ton of independence. And I think it worked really well for me, but it's also really different. So what works for me may not work for my sister. So you kind of have to be willing to cater to your child's needs and what you think will suit them best. But independence for me was key.   Stacey Simms  42:36 And then I'll flip it around and say, okay, you're you're a college student. Now you're you're not you know, you're not quite done with being a teenager, but the high school experience is behind you. Any advice for teenagers? type one?   Morgan Panzirer  42:47 Yeah, I would say teenage years are tough just because your peers are naturally a lot more judgmental than they are when they're adults. Do what you do. Don't hide anything. If they want to be jerks about it. Let them be jerks about it. That's their problem. And just don't let them get the best of you because I was bullied by freshman year of high school for wearing a CGM on my leg and was shorts on and things like that. So I would just say, don't let the haters hate who cares, they can do what they want.   Unknown Speaker  43:18 And for you now, what are you studying? Did I read you want to be an endocrinologist?   Morgan Panzirer  43:22 Yes, I am studying biology in Spanish on a pre med track. And I'm hoping to go to medical school for pediatric endocrinology. Did you have an endocrinologist growing up that inspired you? When did you realize you want to do something like this? It's funny, it was kind of the opposite. Hopefully, he's not listening right now. He wasn't bad by any means. But I just thought it would be really cool if I had an endocrinologist who also has type one who can relate to what I'm going through and make me feel like I'm not alone. So if I want that from my endocrinologist, I want to be able to give that to others. So I'm hoping that eventually, if I make it through med school, I'll be able to give that experience to younger children who are also fighting type one. That's great. And then someday you could do the next book, which is actually you can Exactly.   Stacey Simms  44:18 Work it. Thank you so much for talking with me. often don't hear about those teen years and growing up with type one until people are adults, so I can't thank you enough for sharing your story. I really wish you the very best with this.   Morgan Panzirer  44:28 Of course, thank you so much for having me.   Stacey Simms  44:33 I will link up more information about Morgan's book, just go to Diabetes connections.com click on the episode homepage. As usual, there's also a episode transcription. I started doing that in January of 2020 of this year, we're slowly going back the catalog I'll probably put the transcripts in for past shows as well. But you know, there's a lot of shows we're up to episode This is 310 if you're keeping track so I'm doing the best I can with transcriptions but 2020 and going forward getting great feedback on that. And thank you, I really appreciate hearing from you. If there's something that you really like or don't like with the show, and the transcriptions have been a big hit, people listen to the show people read the show, and some people listen while they read the show. However, I can serve you That is what I'm here for. And I'm kind of laughing. But really, that's one of the reasons why I wanted to add the transcriptions. I think there's some excellent information. It's not about me, it's about the information and if you can read it, I know some people just prefer that. So very cool. Thanks again. And, you know, when you go to Amazon, and you see, it just makes me laugh, right? The you see Morgan's book with my book. I don't know why it makes me laugh. I mean, I'm a serious author now. But I do get a kick out of serious author (laughs). I do get a kick out of seeing people I know or have met, along with my book. It's just really a lot of fun. I don't know. Maybe it's silly, but I really get a kick out of it. All right, great month of shows coming up. I'm very excited about July because we're going to be talking about selecting an insulin pump, not which pump is best, but how do you select one that's like the number one Question all these Facebook groups? What pumps should I get? What pumps Should I get my kid? We're also gonna be talking about pancreas transplant. I've wanted to talk to somebody who had a pancreas transplant for years and years because you hear you know how difficult it is or how does it even happen. And so we've done that and I'm really thrilled to share that interview with you in the coming weeks. And of course, the fiscal would squares. That chaotic show will be out soon as well. So lots of good stuff coming up. More on the way. Thank you to my editor, chunky tennis solutions. And thank you so much for listening. I'm Stacey Simms. I'll see you back here next week. Until then, kind to yourself.   Diabetes Connections is a production of Stacey Simms media. All rights reserved. All wrongs avenged   Transcribed by https://otter.ai

On the fourteenth entry of our See It to Be It podcast series, Amy C. Waninger speaks with Vonda Page, an organizational change leader at PayPal, about her entrance into the tech space and her experience being the only in many job settings, and Vonda talks to the fact that even individuals without a STEM background have spaces for them in technology. Check the links in the show notes to connect with her!Connect with Vonda on LinkedIn.Donate to the Justice for Breonna Taylor GoFundMe by clicking here.Find out how the CDC suggests you wash your hands by clicking here.Help food banks respond to COVID-19. Learn more at FeedingAmerica.org.Check out our website.TRANSCRIPTZach: What's up, y'all? It's Zach with Living Corporate. Now, look, for those of y'all who are new here, the purpose of Living Corporate is to create a space that affirms black and brown experiences in the workplace, right? There are certain things that only we can really understand, and when I say we I mean the collective non-white professional [laughs] in corporate America. And when we look around--if you, like, Google being black and brown in corporate America, you may see, like, a post in Huffington Post or something that kind of communicates from a position of lack, but I don't know if we necessarily see a lot of content that empowers and affirms our identity and our experience, and that's really the whole purpose of Living Corporate. It's with that that I'm really excited to talk to y'all about the See It to Be It series. Amy C. Waninger, who has been a guest on the show, who's a writer for Living Corporate, and who's also the author of Network Beyond Bias, she's actually partnered with Living Corporate to actually have an interviewing series where she actually sits down with black and brown professionals so that we can learn about what they actually do and see ourselves in these roles, right? So it's a variety of industries that she's--she's talking to a lot of different types of folks. You're gonna be able to see what they do, and at the same time you're gonna hopefully be able to envision yourself in that role, hence the title See It to Be It, okay? So check this out. The next thing you're gonna hear is this interview with Amy C. Waninger. Y'all hang tight. Catch y'all next time. Peace.Amy: Vonda, welcome to the show. I'm so glad to have you. How are you?Vonda: I'm great, Amy. Thank you so much. It's a pleasure to be here with you today.Amy: This is exciting for me, 'cause you and I have had so many conversations on these topics alraedy, and every time I talk to someone and we get going and we're on a roll I'm like, "Oh, I wish that I had recorded this for the show," so now we get to, which is exciting to me.Vonda: That's great. I'm happy about it. Thank you so much.Amy: Good. So Vonda, how long have you been working in the tech space?Vonda: It's so funny. You know, I was thinking about it, and I've really been in the tech space for about 24 years, and the last 20 exclusively, and it's interesting because I really got into tech organically because I never was necessarily oriented towards math, towards science or, you know, digital technology, and the way that I got into the tech field was I originally started working in the restaurant business, right, in bars and restaurants, some chain places, some local places, and as different restaurants were getting online with different computer systems, they would need a person that could teach everybody how to use it. And I was always a really good trainer. My background is communications, always really good at, you know, processes and helping people learn how things work, and so they'd say, "Okay. Well, you know, we're getting a computer system, and we need you to train people." And I'm like, "What?" So they give me the big fat book, the big fat manual, you know, the operating procedures, and I have to review that, and it would be interesting because after looking at "Okay, this is how the technology works," I had to compare how are we currently working and what is different, right? So in a restaurant back in the old pen and paper days, right, before iPads and all that fancy stuff, people would come to the table with a paper and a pencil and they would write it down. So when we started to adopt computers and different types of technology, I had to look at "What's the delta between how we're operating in a non-technical way," right, without technology, and then when we move to using technology, what's that difference? So the way I got started was really helping people move from, you know, the paper and pencil onto using different computer systems.Amy: I think that's fascinating. I have a story that I would love to share with you if you don't mind. I went to one of the--you know the really cheap hair-cutting places? I took my kids there one day, and their computer system was down and they didn't know what to do. They were frozen. And I looked at the woman--and I was an analyst at the time, you know, kind of like what you're describing--and they're like, "Well, we can't cut hair because our computers are down," and I said, "Why do you need a computer to cut my kid's hair? Can't you just use scissors?" And they kind of laughed and she's like, "Um, yeah, okay," and so she got out a piece of paper and the first thing she said was, "What's your phone number?" Well, that's the identifier they used in their system to look up what haircut he'd had the last time. I said, "You don't need his phone number. You need a #2 guard. Cut his hair." But they were just so lost 'cause they had been training on how to use the system, not how to do the job, right? And so what you're talking about is the reverse of that, where people come in not already indoctrinated to the technology and now they have to learn to do their job with it.Vonda: Exactly, and then there's that balance of using the technology with the actual process. So the process of cutting hair in your example is perfect, right? You use scissors or you use clippers or you use a combination. You use a comb. Maybe you have a spray bottle with some water. You need that whether you have a computer or not, right? If you're in a restaurant, you need pans and pots and food, right? And you need that, right, whether you have a computer or not. So, you know, it's a very similar thing, and it's so interesting, but that's really kind of how I got started, and for me, I grew up with computers, right? I learned as the technology advanced, and later on in my career I worked exclusively in tech. So now for the last--yeah, since 2000 I've been exclusively in tech, and a lot of what I do is really helping companies when they decide to change a technology, whether that's through an upgrade, whether we are retiring something to bring in something new or just adding new features, I help the company or the team determine "What is the strategy we need to implement that technology change so that we don't have an adverse impact on the business, on the employees or on whomever that change is gonna impact?"Amy: One of the things I think is so interesting about that, Vonda, is that you didn't come in from a technology standpoint--and I think I've had some other folks on the show that have worked in technology, that are pure technologists, but I think it's important for people to understand you don't have to be a technologist to work in technology, and in fact, the tech sector needs people people, right? If you say, "Oh, I'm a people person," my goodness, does somebody in tech need you. Vonda: Absolutely. And it's so funny because, you know, even now every now and then somebody will ask me some kind of technical question. Like, a friend of mine yesterday was asking something and I said, "Listen, I really have no idea." Like, "I've heard of this thing you're asking me about, but I'm not--" And she was like, "Well, you've been in tech for, like, ever," and I said, "I've been in tech, but I'm not a techie." And so what's interesting in the tech field, and what I do is I work with a lot of engineers, a lot of extremely technical people, a lot of architects, and while their expertise is really based in the system and how things are built and how things are connected and put together, they need support from the standpoint of somebody who can take all of that, what they're talking about, and help the business as well as, you know, the community that's gonna be using that technology understand what is it, how does it help or impact me, and why do I want to use it, right, and what is the benefit of it, and sometimes a technologist will say, "Well, it's great. It has all these great features. It does this," and they'll say, "It does," right? So they'll say, "The tech does this," and my question to them is, "Okay, so how does that affect, you know, Suzy? How does that affect Rohit? How does that affect Carmela?" So you're making changes to technology. You're putting enhancements in. You're building things on top of apps or creating features, but what is the people side of that? So one of the gaps that I have seen over my career in the technology field is that people sometimes leave out that we are creating technology for people. The technology is to be used by people. So you have to think--okay, if we take the example of earphones, right, or listening devices, right, and you think about "People need to use this for what? To either block out sound, to focus sound, you know?" What is it that people need it for, and then how do we build it or talk about it so that it matches what that need is? And that really requires, you know, the ability to ask a lot of questions and to be--like, I take a lot of notes. I pull in different people that have different areas of expertise for a particular technology. So sometimes in a phone call or in a conversation there will be an engineer and an architect and a product manager and a project manager that's somebody that's kind of herding the cats and all of that, and then you have other subject matter expertise that may be connected to that particular application, right, or that particular business process. So it's really important to have the soft skill of communication, that you can pull in those different perspectives, you can ask those different questions, you can get, you know, people talking, because a lot of times, technologists, they kind of work inside their own head, right? And so helping them come outside of their head with certain questions, especially open-ended--you know, how will this help John get his work done? How will this make it easier for the customer to execute a transaction? And really helping to articulate that for the technologist so that the business can say, "Oh, we know why you're making this change, and we're gonna make sure that we support it."Amy: Absolutely, and I've spent so much time in those roles. I'm just nodding along like, "Yes, we need a translator between the two worlds," becase they do speak different languages often. So I want to switch gears just a little bit, Vonda, and I want to ask you, especially 24 years ago when you started working in tech and, you know, sort of had a toe in the water but still way too much tday, I would imagine that you are not swimming in a sea of other black women at work.Vonda: No. It's so funny. So I just moved to a different team, and I was the only, only black woman. And I'm in a new team that has more women, but still the only black woman, and what I have found is that throughout my career I'm usually the only black woman--and every now and then there may be a support staff person, like a project coordinator or an administrative professional, but not usually. And so, you know, I've learned to be comfortable in that role, right, and to just really not let it hamper how I'm gonna perform. I don't shy back if I have a question. I ask it. If I'm running the meeting I'm running the meeting, you know? If I am trying to accomplish specific outcomes for a project or a meeting, I state what they are, I let them know "These are the critical success factors for getting it done," and, you know, no matter what I kind of keep on fighting, right? But it is very difficult, because what happens--and I'm sure, you know, in your work and in this inclusion space have had conversations with other black women who, you know, you get into this space where you know what some of the obstacles and challenges are going to be, but what you have to do is just drive ahead, right, and as you experience more and more circumstances, right, whether it's in meetings or whether it's in presentations or whether it's in, you know, any kind of group effort where you have to do things, you have to kind of go into it knowing that you might not get the support or the cooperation. Amy: So where do you get the reserves of energy that it must take to walk in every day knowing that--and forgive me for saying this. I mean, I'm gonna just kind of lay this out, right? Knowing no matter how good you are, no matter how great a job you do that day, no matter how great a job you've done for 20 years, there are probably no people who look like you above you in the food chain at your company, and your shot at getting there is pretty low.Vonda: Yeah, and it's interesting, 'cause--so I do two things. So one thing I do--and it's funny. So one thing that I do to mentally prepare myself is when I know I'm gonna have a challenging day, especially a day that I'm gonna be expending a whole lot of energy, I really make sure that I kind of have a ritual that I do, right, and part of it is the way I take care of myself, right? So I do a lot of physical exercise, 'cause I feel like when my body is strong, that helps me be mentally strong and emotionally prepared. That's one thing. I try to also listen to motivational music. So, like, I listen to a lot of hardcore--not hardcore, but, like, inspirational rap music, right, and I call it my mental warmup. So I have a playlist of, like, Beyonce and Kendrick Lamar and Drake and, you know, Jill Scott and different people, but I have music that kind of talks about, "Hey, things are hard, right, but you can do it," and so I use music and my physicality to help with that, but the other thing I do, Amy, is I have friends, right, and colleagues and associates that I'm close to that I know I can call to vent, right, and I can say, you know, "So here's what's happening. Am I looking at this, you know, in a way that doesn't seem right?" So that really helps. And I also go to therapy. I love therapy. I am a big advocate for people trying to take charge of their own mental health and mental well-being. And I talk to my therapist, right, and my therapist is a white guy in his 40s, and, you know, I look at it as--and we have a great relationship, right, and I look at it as--you know, and I think he does too, as he's my sort of--like, sort of... I don't want to call it a check, but my support from the standpoint that I can describe a situation or what it is, and he'll say, "Wow, that is really terrible. That must be really hard for you. How do you feel about that?" Amy: So I'm really glad that you brought up therapy, because I know, you know, among--particularly among my black friends there's a lot of stigma around seeking therapy because it's viewed as weakness or a lack of faith, and so I want to thank you for sharing that. That's very vulnerable. And, you know, I think it helps people when other folks come forward about those kinds of things, right? About prioritizing mental health, and particularly in a community that has cause for, you know--I mean, you're in a lot of collective stress, especially right now. I do think it's so important. Where do you go at work to find community when there are so few people who look like you in this place?Vonda: Yeah. So I'm funny like that, Amy. I seek out the black people. Like, I literally look for the black people. So I look for any face that I see that is of any shade, and I say, "Hey," and I walk up to people--you know, pre-COVID, right, I would walk up to somebody, a stranger, you know, and be like, "Hey, I'm Vonda. Who are you? What team do you work in?" Sometimes I just get on LinkedIn and I look for people that work for my company, and then I reach out to them on LinkedIn and I'm like, "Hey, we work at the same company. Here's my User ID. Why don't you Slack me when you get to the office?" Or something like that. So I make a purposeful attempt to reach out to people, and then I just kind of build it up from there. So I'm--and I don't know where I learned this. You know, I guess--my under-grad degree is in communications, my graduate degree is in communications. I've always been a very communicative person, you know, and so I will just reach out to somebody and say, "Hi, I'm Vonda. We haven't met. Can I put 20 minutes on your calendar just for, like, a 1-on-1 intro chat?" I've never been told, "No, you can't put 20 minutes on my calendar," I've always been told "Absolutely," and then I just kick it off like that. "Hey, I'm new here," or, you know, "I saw you on campus," or "Hey, I stalked you on LinkedIn, and I just wanted to say hi and find out what you do. Are there any other black people in your department? What's your experience like? If you ever need to talk, let's talk." And fortunately, you know, a lot of companies nowadays have ERGs or employee resource groups. Some companies call them affinity groups. That's a really good way to meet the only, because in a large company, you know, especially in tech and in high tech, they're probably the only in their team or the only in their department. So, you know, everybody is sort of craving that sense of "Oh, there's somebody that gets me. Oh, there's somebody that looks like me." So I bet you they're experiencing some of it, right? So when you're looking at gender the experience is a little different, right, for black men versus black women, because the way we're perceived, you know, in society is a little different, but we still are, I find, in tech usually the only. I would say, other than my colleagues who work more in the non-technical spaces, right, my colleagues who work more in, like, customer operations type of roles, you'll find more black women, right, in those roles, right? So it'll be more in those teams, but in the highly technical ones, everybody is usually the only, and when you are the only, you know, as you said, you do feel like "How am I gonna get to that next level? Because there is no one that looks like me," right? And if there was, you know, a black woman that might have had, you know, a high-up job, maybe she only stayed at the company for a couple of years or maybe she moved on--and it is difficult, but there's a part of me that feels like even if I can't make a significant enough change to maybe see it, I'm at least helping the next generation. So for me--and I guess it's part of the mom in me, right, is I want to help the next generation so that when they get to high tech in the corporate world they're not the only, but if they are, they know "Okay, here's how you need to navigate," right? You have to walk in realizing that the same perceptions that people have out of the corporate space, like, those are the same perceptions that get carried into the corporate space. And really, as you said, there's no amount of excellence and tenacity and accomplishment that will, you know, change that for people, but what you can do is change for yourself, you know, how you approach it, and if you have the information, right, to be able to say, "Okay, I am prepared that my ideas might not get traction. Okay, so then how do I start to build a coalition of advocates, right, and other, like, friendlies to help build that up? I know that if I'm presenting I might get interrupted, so what do I need to do about that?" So I have lines already memorized and prepared in my mind, right? So if I'm speaking and someone interrupts me, I say "Hey, can you hold your thought, John? Because I wasn't done," and then I finish, right? And I serve as an advocate to everyone. It doesn't matter male or female, black or white, Hispanic, Indian, it doesn't matter, and those things I think make a difference.Amy: Absolutely. So just in closing, what advice do you have for people who are maybe wanting to break into tech who maybe are not technologists but certainly, you know, have questions about how to get started. Where would you send them to kind of start this journey?Vonda: Yeah. I've thought about that a lot, because tech is here, and it is going to continue to grow and move into a bunch of different spaces. One of the really growing areas in tech right now is really around data science and data analytics, and I would encourage people to do at every stage of their career, right, whether they're in college right now, just finishing up high school, early career, mid-career, is really just start looking at some of those trends, right? So for example, you could just do a quick Google search on technology trends, and you'll see AI, you know, automation, artificial intelligence, and data science. Those things will pop right up, and the recommendation is really know a little bit about a lot, right? But just enough. You don't need to know, you know, all the deep down nitty-gritty details of what everything means, but if you have some familiarity, you know, "What's the conversation around automation these days," right? What's the conversation around Cloud? What's the conversation around data science? Have familiarity with the conversation around that. LinkedIn is a really great resource to go in in the search, and you can either type in, you know, the title "jobs" and type in, you know, a couple of titles, right? You can type in "data scientist," you can type in "automation," and then you can start to see, "Okay, these are some of the fields, and these are the criteria." But I would tell people even if you don't have a STEM, you know, type of background, science, technology, engineering and math, even if you don't have a STEM background, there's a space for you in technology, because we have to balance out the technologists, right? We have to balance that, and you really need strong communication skills, strong engagement skills, the ability to think not all the time at the detailed minute level, but to be able to look at things from a macro level, from a 30,000, 50,000-foot level. Be able to think about strategy. So if somebody asked me to do X, why did they ask me to do that? What other goals does it match up to? What's the bigger picture? And if you can understand the bigger picture, then that is a leg up, because in my experience folks that have a very specialized area of expertise and they only--let's say they know 90% about that and they know very little about other things, those are the people who really struggle. So you want to be--you know, not a jack of all trades because you can't, but you want to know a little bit about the big things, right, and then when you need to deep dive into them you do more. So, you know, I was on a call yesterday about some cryptography stuff, right? I haven't worked on cryptography--which they say crypto--since last year. So I had to go back and kind of read some of my notes and refamiliarize myself. "Okay, so for crypto here's what we're looking at, right? We're talking about how things are transmitted and are we making sure that the protocols are secure." So it's just a matter of knowing a little bit, and sometimes I'll be in a conversation and I'll say, you know, "I'm the least technical person here," and they're always like, "No, you seem like you understand it." Well, I understand it enough, right, to be able to articulate it, but if you ask me to, you know, write the scripts for it or--no, I'm not doing that. So I think it's really a few things, really understanding them, and just using your communication skills and your personality. And don't feel like, you know, because you're not an expert in something that that doesn't mean you're not valuable, because really most of those people aren't experts, right? And so I guess that's kind of where the impostor syndrome piece can come in for people. You're not an impostor, right? You know what you know, and there's enough resources out now that you can do research, right, to get the amount of knowledge that you need necessary to do it and do well.Amy: Vonda, thank you so much for sharing your experience and your wisdom with our audience. I really appreciate you.Vonda: Thanks so much for having me. It was a pleasure, and I look forward to talking with you soon.

In this week’s episode, Content Marketing Institute’s Robert Rose is thinking about three questions: What? So what? Now what? He shares his fresh take on the reveal of Amazon platform changes that expose publishing’s weak points (again). He talks with The Content Council’s Jacqueline Loch about the challenges of developing messaging and stories in the COVID-19 era. And he takes you back to the future with content marketing predictions for 2020. And that’s a wrap for the week ending April 24, 2020. SPONSOR Content Marketing University The all-new 2020 curriculum features six courses from Robert Rose and 50-plus hours of ancillary content from top industry leaders diving deep into the topics you care about. It’s perfect for enterprise brands and entire departments looking to hone their skills together and individual professionals wanting to advance their own practice of content marketing. Use the discount code FRIEND200 for a $200 discount on access to the courses for an entire year when you register by April 30. https://www.contentmarketinguniversity.com/ NEWS ITEM of the Week  ‘This is exposing our weak points’: Amazon changes teach publishers – again – platform dependence is risky https://digiday.com/media/this-is-exposing-our-weak-points-amazon-changes-teach-publishers-again-platform-dependence-is-risky/ INTERVIEW OF THE WEEK Jacqueline Loch is executive vice president of customer innovation for St. Joseph Communications, a content marketing agency that specializes in developing content and content strategies for businesses all over the world, including some of Canada’s most iconic and celebrated media brands. Jacquie is an expert in content strategy, media integration, SEO, and direct-to-consumer strategies and chairs the board of The Content Council. She’s a frequent speaker on branded content solutions and has created award-winning multi-platform content strategies for clients such as Dior, HBC, Coty, L’Oréal Canada, Walmart, Air Miles/LoyaltyOne, Canadian Tire, and Rogers Communications. Learn more from Jacquie: Connect with her on https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacquelineloch/ Visit https://thecontentcouncil.org/ Read her article A Time for Brands to Be Human  https://stjoseph.com/insight/time-brands-human/ CONTENT MARKETING IDEA OF THE WEEK Back to the Future? 90 Content Marketing Predictions for 2020 https://contentmarketinginstitute.com/2019/12/content-marketing-predictions-2020/  

Episode Notes Learn English with Celebrity InterviewsOur interview travels through time interviewing famous historical people. Unfortunately, his time-machine only allows him to ask 5 questions.Today, he travels to the 1950's to interview the blonde bombshell herself, Marilyn Monroe.How to use See the website (www.chucklenglish.com) on how to learn with the podcast.Transcript - Interviewer: Welcome to Quick History Interviews. The show where we travel in time and ask 5 questions to someone famous. - Today, we’ve travelled to the USA. To meet the blonde bombshell of the 1950’s, Marilyn Monroe. - Interviewer: Mrs Monroe, nice to meet you. - MM: Call me Miss. Nice to meet you! - Interviewer: Ok, let’s get to the questions. Your real name was Norma. Why did you change it to Marilyn? - MM: Well, to be honest, I think that to get somewhere in Hollywood as a woman, you need a name. I thought that Norma was a bit too normal, if you get what I mean! - Interviewer: To many, you are seen as the definite sex symbol. What is your opinion on this? - MM: Well, it is easy to give labels to people. I did not create nor do I call myself a sex symbol. That was given to me by a male orientated world. Can’t a girl look glamorous and also be talented. I have talents, I can act, I can sing and also I can balance an egg on my nose. - Interviewer: Really? - MM: yes, for one minute. By the way, that is question 3! - Interviewer: Damn! Can you balance anything else on your nose? - MM: No, that would be ridiculous. I’m a dedicated woman and it took me years of practice to be able to balance an egg on my nose. By the way, that was your fourth question! Are you getting a bit hot under the collar talking to an international sex symbol? - Interviewer: No, you are a very beautiful woman, but, I’m fine. I’m ready to ask you the next question about your melons... - MM: My melons? - Interview: I mean your coconuts... No! I mean about your life! - MM: Well, go ahead...Mr. Interviewer. - Interviewer: You often refer to Marilyn Monroe in the third-person. Why is this? Do you have schizophrenia? - MM: Well, I’ve never told anyone this publically. But, Marilyn for me is a character. Like that mouse, what is his name? - Interviewer: Mickey Mouse? - MM: Yes! Mickey Mouse is just a character, but when he gets home, he’s probably a different person, maybe he’s really sweet, and maybe he’s a bad person. But Mickey Mouse is only his character. - Interviewer: But Mickey Mouse is fictional... - MM: Exactly! - Interviewer: Right! What? So you are comparing yourself to a fictional cartoon, aren’t you? - MM: Well, I see Marilyn as an image, maybe she doesn’t live in a cartoon world, maybe she doesn’t have a girlfriend called Minnie or wear giant big white gloves, but she is a character for the cameras. I can switch her on and off like that. - Interviewer: Like what? - MM: Like that! - Interviewer: Sorry, like what? - MM: Like...that! - Interviewer: But, you do know that Mickey Mouse doesn’t exist in the real world, that he... or it is a fictional drawn cartoon character, don’t you? - MM: I’m afraid you’re all out of questions Mr President. I mean Mr Interviewer. - Interviewer: Well, Marilyn Monroe it has been nice to look at you. I mean to talk to you. - MM: Thank you. I have one question for you. You are from the future, right? - Interviewer: Yes, that is true. - MM: So you know about the future of Marilyn Monroe. I mean my future, right? - Interviewer: Yes... - MM: Well, in the future will I have a long life and marry President Kennedy? - Interviewer: Sorry, my time is up. I have to go before the time-machine leaves without me. - MM: Just say yes or no! - Interviewer: I really have to go. - MM: Working with Mickey Mouse was never this difficult! - Interviewer: Bye!Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

Well, I got laid off. It sucks and I talk about it. We offer a couple of political takes. They are lukewarm. This was recorded over Discord and it kinda sucked s***. I edited it as much as I could but there may be some parts when you're like, "What???" So just be warned. We also talk about Bill Simmons THE $200 Million Dollar Man. A little Dave Portnoy too.   Here's the link to the NYT article about Yang Musk's song is inserted in there I'm not linking it.  Here's my commercial review Go to Tolkein White Guy every second and fourth Thursday of the month.

One year.  Three hosts.  Twenty questions.  And a twist. It's been an amazing first year at the It's A Mimic! podcast, and we are grateful for all the love and support we've received.  As a result, Adam, Dan, and Terry have decided to celebrate the year (and the fans), by taking an episode off and not recording a special.  Wait.  ...  What? So sit down, listen up, dig in, and chill out.  The It's A Mimic! podcast takes a break from itself and gives you what you all want: D&D tips, character assassination, disturbing ideas, hot takes, and stupid arguments in the One Year Anniversary without the people you know and love. Special shout-out:  Terry because he's dreamy, Dan because he's creamy, and Adam because he's steamy. Available On: iTunes | Spotify | Podbean | YouTube Don’t forget to Like/Follow/Subscribe when you listen! Social: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Email: info@itsamimic.com Intro/Outro Music by: Cory Wiebe Shout Out Music by: Isaac Callender Logo by: Kate Skidmore

And I think that was when I really learned that, you know, all our healing doesn't happen at the same time. I think I was very impatient to just get better. I just wanted everything to go away. And I didn't realize that, you know, I had accumulated trauma from some past events and then from this event. And there was so many different aspects to healing.   INTRO   Today, we are talking about post-traumatic-stress disorder:  what it looks like in the life of one woman after a medical accident AND how you can help someone that has lived through something awful, and it still bearing the effects.    We are sponsored, today, by FullStack PEO.  FullStack PEO is company devoted to small businesses.  FullStack offers turnkey HR for emerging companies.  And we are sponsored by Handle with Care HR Consulting, helping you support your people when they need it most.    I first met my guest, Elsie Iudicello, in college.  Elsie has an infectious laugh that bubbles over.  She traveled to Honduras, digging wells for impoverished people.  And she was a great dancer.  These days, Elsie can be found in Florida where she homeschools her four boys.  And you might have a pre-conceived notion of what that looks like.  But you would probably be wrong.    Liesel Mertes You make homeschooling look really cool. You have like homeschooling alligators and crawdads. It's like it's very intense looking homeschooling. Tell me a little bit about your boys.   Elsie Iudicello So, I have four boys. The eldest is about to turn twelve and my youngest is seven, and we homeschool all of them. They are. They all have very different personalities, but they all have a beautiful wildness about them, about their childhood. That is really precious. It's interesting to see how long their innocence has been sustained throughout their growing years just by virtue of being home schooled, spending a lot of time in nature.   Elsie Iudicello And yeah, it's I always feel like as they're growing up like a big treasure hunter, they're just I'm seeing things and they're also slowly revealing things about themselves. And it's a real gift to be their mom.   Liesel Mertes   What was one of the most impactful moments of today for you?   Elsie Iudicello Well, it's gorgeous in Florida right now. It's truly beautiful. I'm sorry for anyone that is buried in snow right now, but it is beautiful here right now. We wait for it all year. And, you know, my boys are outside all day building forts and making weapons out of sticks. And at one point, my son, my youngest, called me out there. He is not neurotypical. So, it's always interesting what kinds of insights he has and what moments he chooses to deliver them in this afternoon. He called me out there and we made a fort together and. He kept saying it's so important for moms to build forts with their boys. He kept saying that over and over again, and I asked him why is it so important for mothers to build forts with their boys? And he said, so they can play so their heart, so their hearts can play together, so they can play together in their hearts. And he started talking about something we talk a lot about as a family, which is the idea of fullness vs. busyness. And he started saying how much he loves the fullness of his life and that any time I feel like I'm getting too busy, busy, I should come outside and enjoy the fullness of life with him. And that was a pretty big moment in my day. It kind of turned it around, actually.   In addition to their four boys, Elsie cares for a host of chickens, some goats, a few cats, a dog, and a pig.    She is a writer, contributing monthly to the Wild and Free magazine.  And, although she hates flying, Elsie also travels, speaking at conferences and events that reach mothers, regardless of school choice.   Elsie Iudicello I think it's important to realize that, you know, different kinds of schooling work for different kinds of kids and that children can still have a really wonderful, wild and preserved childhood even if they are going to traditional schools. And that's been really encouraging to see to just moms that really love their kids and want to fight for their childhoods.   Liesel Mertes Well, I appreciate you coming on the podcast. We wanted to discuss some disruption that happened as you were in the midst of your childbearing years. Could you set the scene as to where you were in life when you had this accident that it happened?   Elsie Iudicello Sure. So, we were living in Miami at the time my husband was a grad student. He was earning his Ph.D. And I had a two-year-old and a 1 year old and we were living in a small house just off of campus. My whole family is in Miami. My four grandparents, my parents, several aunts, uncles, cousins, and a very robust church family. So thankfully, we were not in a position of isolation or loneliness. We were just newlyweds with a lot of babies.   Elsie was pregnant with her third son at the time of the accident, when a brand-new doctor botched her care.  Elsie was exhausted.  She did not know that she was carrying twins and had just miscarried one of the children.  Her doctor didn’t realize either and said that she was, maybe, suffering from lymphoma.   Elsie Iudicello And I was very taken aback by that. And I had mentioned at the start of the visit that I had an allergy to a certain kind of medication. And for whatever reason, she chose to prescribe that medication to me. And I was in such a state of grief and bewilderment. And because I don't have a pharmacology license. I did not understand what the label said. It didn't say the name of the drug I was allergic to. It had another name, but it was in that family. And so, I took that medication.   Elsie Iudicello And very quickly, my body started to shut down and I went into complete anaphylaxis. Jeff drove me to the hospital. We called family that were able to get to our house very quickly. And if you've ever had the experience of going to the E.R. and waiting hours and hours to be seen, that is great, because it means it's not super urgent. I just remember walking in through the doors and it just being absolute chaos. They had to get me back there, start all kinds of intravenous lines, pump all kinds of drugs, and I could feel my body shutting down.   Elsie Iudicello So, having that experience of, you know, feeling yourself dying is, is a very, very, very vivid and painful and surreal thing to experience. And unfortunately, thankfully, they were able to save me. Unfortunately, it took a long time for the anaphylaxis process to resolve because I had they put me on steroids, which suppressed the reactions. But every time I ran out of steroid medication, the anaphylaxis would flare up again and I would end up in the hospital and stuff.   So, Elsie has the awful, traumatic experience of anaphylactic shock.  And then she keeps dealing with flare-ups.   Elsie Iudicello I remember one day my college roommate, Jocelyn, who had moved to Miami, was over for dinner with a colleague of hers. And it was that day my steroid had run out and I walked to the kitchen to get something in. My heart started racing and it was incredibly painful, and I collapsed. And the next thing I knew, I was on a gurney in the ambulance on my way to the hospital again.   Elsie Iudicello And they started checking for pulmonary embolisms and oh, my goodness, all confusing.   Elsie Iudicello I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and there were many sights and sounds and smells that became embedded in my cellular memory and began triggering panic attacks. So, I do remember that by the fourth and fifth visits and this was to the same hospital. So of course, they had thorough records of what was happening. They realized that there was probably something else going on because my body would start mimicking an anaphylactic reaction even though I wasn't having one. So, by the end, by the last visit, I was no longer anaphylactic. But because the steroids would run out, any little sensation that felt akin to the anaphylactic reaction would have caused my body to imitate one. So, my skin, for example, when I got home after the first hospital visit, I was covered inside and outside with hives, and my digestive system had been burned really badly. So, I couldn't sleep for many, many days. I would sleep maybe 30 minutes at a time and then be awake for hours and hours and hours because my heart was racing or because I was just so uncomfortable for all from all of the hives. And I was also afraid to eat anything lest I have another anaphylactic reaction.   Liesel Mertes You're the mom of two small children. At the same time, which sounds really totalizing. What? So, for someone who has not dealt with up to this point PTSD, what, what are some of the things that you feel like are really important to be understood that like the average person doesn't get?   Elsie Iudicello I don't think I realized how all-consuming it is. Some my very limited experience with PTSD was. Was probably just in the realm of film and TV where someone would hear some little thing and, you know, have a panic attack or something. And that was it. I didn't realize all the things that can come with it.   Elsie Iudicello I didn't realize that it's almost like another person living in the house all of a sudden tell me that I didn't realize the.   Elsie Iudicello I just mean that it's, it's like this new entity that you have to get to know and understand and figure out, but you hate them, and you don't want them there. So, it's difficult to get to know something that you hate so much.   Elsie Iudicello I didn't really understand all of my different triggers, all of the things that would send me into a panic attack. I don't think I was prepared for the deep level of exhaustion that comes with it. And I know I was newly pregnant, so I think at first, I had a tendency to write off any exhaustion to the pregnancy, but it was a kind of exhaustion that I'd never known before. And I see now that a lot of that was the PTSD. And at times my brain would be very foggy. So, there would be people trying to reason with me about things, not understanding that.   Elsie Iudicello It has nothing to do with logic, but it could clearly communicate that because I was so tired, I was so sleep deprived, my brain was so foggy, I was so malnourished, all these other things that it's really not a logic issue. And that was not something that I could clearly describe at all,   Liesel Mertes What were some of the ways that people made you feel most supported in those early days of dealing with PTSD? And I a phrase that purposefully, because I imagine there are aspects where support looks a little bit different in the seasons that come after, but in those early days, how are you best supported by the people around you?   Elsie Iudicello It was the friends that didn't try to fix the situation because we definitely had some well-meaning people that came over and just thought, you just need to be cheered up. You just need to get over it. Or saying things like, remember your babies, you should be happy that you have all these babies. You're so blessed. You should be happy and strong for them. So, the people that helped you were the ones that didn't try to fix things, that didn't try to hurry us out of grief or sadness. The friends that would come and just sit next to the gurney in the hospital and hold my hand. The people that, you know, would say I had one friend in particular that just she was like, I heard you had really bad hives and that you were uncomfortable.   Elsie Iudicello And I know you love P.G. Woodhouse. So, here is a book and some Benadryl and I love you. And that was that was so gracious and so good because she wasn't trying to rush me out of anything.   Elsie Iudicello And of course, we had a lot of friends that would just show up with meals or come and play with our kids. It was really difficult to not be able to play with my children at that time because their desire to play did not decrease when my ability to play decreased. So, it was really good to have friends that would just come over and throw themselves on the floor with my boys and play with them.   Liesel Mertes I imagine, I mean, birth is no small thing also. And to be pregnant and going through all of this upheaval, then you have bringing a child into world and especially, especially the infants. They're pretty unrelenting. What did that look like as a chapter in your journey with PTSD? Was there a particular anxiety or apprehension that you felt heightened as you approached your due date?   Elsie Iudicello Sure. Well, I was on bed rest for the last eight weeks of my pregnancy, which was very difficult because I could hear my little boys playing in the house. My mom would come over every day and watch them and I could hear them, and I was stuck in bed with a lot of fear. So, I think I wrestled with a lot of that stuff while I was on bed rest.   Elsie Iudicello But the other side of this whole coin is that when I was in the hospital, I can't remember which visit it was, but they looked at my blood levels and realized I was still pregnant, and they advised me to terminate. Kind of gently advised that I consider that due to my health, due to the amount of medications that had been pumped into me, the radiation, all these other things, and I said no. And I always saw my son as a fighter. And I could not believe that he survived all of that with me. And so, in a lot of ways, I felt less alone. I felt like he was my teammate. Like he was my my brother in arms. You know, he, he fought every step of the way with me. And I felt like. It was not birthing him alone. It really felt like something we would be doing together.   Elsie Iudicello And it's really interesting how he was born at home. They had kind of said always going to have all these issues. And I saw my midwife and, you know, we went for the extra ultrasounds and everything looked good. And I went into labor in Florida. You are legally not allowed to give birth at home before thirty-seven weeks and thirty-six weeks. In a couple of days, I went into labor. So, we went to the hospital and my midwife said, I don't want to be insulting, but you kind of remind me of those of those, those faithful lovely dog moms that are about to give birth to puppies. And then a storm comes, and they hide, and they wait until the storm is over and then they give birth. And it was very much like that.   Elsie Iudicello I was actually in labor for seventy-seven hours. And I think a lot of that. And it was, you know, contractions every ten minutes. It was it was labor, and it was seventy-seven hours. And it was. Oh, it was terrible. It's terrible, but that. That last day I was able to go home because I hit thirty seven days and I worked in my garden and I have a very visceral memory of being on my hands and knees with my fingers in the dirt and my belly, like just kissing the earth a little bit because I was extremely large and, and feeling the contractions and then going inside and a couple of hours later giving birth in our living room. And there were in something very redeeming and very fitting. It felt like a like a victory for both of us to have come that far together.   Liesel Mertes That's a beautiful story and a very long labor. I hear you. That's a long, year long as you think about how PTSD, because I imagine it's not it's not tidy. It's like, well, that that is a beautiful and poetically told moment and that it wasn't like, OK, so now you've had the baby and that chapter's done now and you move on to the next thing and taking on the next challenges. How has the shadow of that medical accident and your journey afterwards, how does that continue to play itself out?   Elsie Iudicello I think in the in the first year, it was obviously. It was horrible. I mean, there's no way to sugar coat it. I became intensely afraid of doctors. And even when I went to the hospital with my initial labor, I just remember the poor nurse trying to put trying to give me an I.V., which is saline. And I kept having her read the label to me over and over and over. And I think she had read it like eight times before I let her hook it up and then taking my kids to the pediatrician. You know, if they needed to get the shot or any kind of medication, just, you know, compulsively calling over and over again. And interestingly enough, that never left me. And just last year, my son had a prescription filled out and it seemed like a very strange amount of medication. And I called and sure enough, they had made a very big mistake with the dosage. And I'm glad I checked because that would have been horrible. So, you know, that mistrust of, of doctors was something very profound that followed for a long time.   Elsie Iudicello I did suffer from severe panic attacks. I think the best way to describe it is that. You know, if you have something that triggers your adrenaline, a car backfire or something like that, and your adrenaline starts moving. Once you recognize that it was just a car backfire, you can get yourself to calm down. It took me years to get to a place where I could calm down once my adrenaline started going. Once it started, it would just keep going and going and going and going and going. And then, you know, an hour later I would just feel like I had run a marathon. And I didn't realize over the years that I was suffering from adrenal fatigue. That was a big piece in figuring out my health. Part of the reason I didn't know about it is because not a lot of people talk about it. But then also I was really reluctant to actually see a doctor that was not a midwife or a dentist.   Elsie Iudicello So, you know, having those panic, panic attacks in front of my children because we are home all day and I know a lot of people would ask, why on earth are you home schooling if you have a mental illness? And. I never really knew what to say to people when they would say that because even though I had a mental illness. I also had a life and I also had dreams for my children and a lot of love for them. And I had a lot of passion for education and for home schooling. And yes, it was hard. Having panic attacks in front of my children was a hard and brutal thing. But you know what? In many ways and they'll, they'll speak to this today, the ones that remember them more vividly. My oldest said maybe a couple years ago that when he would see me have those. And he is a very sensitive, empathetic person. He's one of the most empathetic people I know. He says that watching that from a young age taught him how to sit in sadness with someone, how to just be present with someone that is sad and to. Not feel uncomfortable and not feel like you need to fill the silence. But to just be beside someone and love them through whatever it is that they're going through.   Elsie Iudicello And I've realized that I think sharing openly with my kids in age appropriate ways. They were able to grow in their empathy and in their care for people that are hurting, and there's a lot of adults I know that don't know how to do that. So, I'm really thankful that we've had the opportunity as a family to grow in that area, even though it's come at a tremendous cost   Liesel Mertes For someone who has not experienced a panic attack. What did that what did that feel like in your body and what did that look like to other people?   Elsie Iudicello They changed a little over the years. There was one day when Jeff dropped a fork and it hit another stack of silverware, I think from the little caddy that inserts into the dishwasher and they clattered to the floor and the noise startled me and I fell to my knees and ended up in the fetal position on the floor. You know, breathing heavily and it's, it's hard because I knew it was just forks and I kept telling myself, it's just forks, it's just forks, it's just forks, what my adrenaline kept running away and I started shaking. And it's sometimes it's painful. It's always exhausting.   Elsie Iudicello There have been times where I've had the type of panic attack, where it's out of body and I'm somewhere else entirely. And that usually happened early on. If I heard a siren at the wrong moment, I was more prone to panic attacks. If I hadn't slept well, if I hadn't had enough to eat. If I hadn't been drinking well.   Liesel Mertes But, you know, when you're when you have a newborn, you're always well rested and well-fed. So always.   Elsie Iudicello So that first year was particularly brutal. I've had I did go to counselling and went through EMDR sessions with my therapist. And that was tremendously helpful to sort through, to revisit and sort through the trauma and put everything. In its place, and I think that was when I really learned that, you know, all our healing doesn't happen at the same time. I think I was very impatient to just get better. I just wanted everything to go away. And I didn't realize that, you know, I had accumulated trauma from some past events and then from this event. And there was so many different aspects to healing. There was the physical healing, the emotional healing, the relationship healing. I mean, Jeff was in grad school and this happened, and he had to carry the load in our home for a long time. And there was a lot that we had to work, work through in that regard. There were a lot of relationships that I handled badly because my perceptions were just off. There were a lot of friendships that I lost simply because especially college friendships, simply because I lost touch.   Elsie Iudicello I fell off the radar and I missed weddings and I missed birthdays and I missed babies being born. And that was that was hard. It was hard to have that moment. I think when I kind of I think I needed to give all of myself to my immediate circle as much as I could to my immediate circle. I didn't have a lot left for the outer rings. And when I was finally able to turn my head and look at the outer rings of my life, all those people that were on those other planes, I had missed so much. It was really hard. It was really hard reconnecting those as you were feeling.   Liesel Mertes I mean, I hear in that the sense of. Yeah. I mean, I was consumed with what was right in front of me. Who were who are the people that were really able to press in to that messiness in a way that was meaningful and supportive. And what did that look like from them?   Elsie Iudicello I would say that the first one was Jeff, the first one was my husband. He would get up early to grade papers. He was a T.A. at the time and then he would go and again, I wasn't sleeping a lot at night. So, you would let me sleep in and he would go wake up all the boys. We had all three kids still in diapers. At this point. So, he would change three different diapers. Feed the older two breakfasts. After the baby was born, he would bring me the baby so that I could nurse him. And then he would go to school and then he would check in throughout the day. And thankfully he was close by. But. Sometimes would drop everything and come home to support me. He built me that beautiful garden in front of our house because he knew that, that it would be a good place for me to heal. And he also didn't discredit me just because I was battling a mental illness. I think sometimes there is that temptation to think that we no longer know ourselves just because we're going through that mental struggle. But Jeff never did that to me. He always listened and he always took what I said seriously. And if he felt that maybe there was another perspective I needed to hear, he found ways to, to introduce that topic and to speak gently about it. He was always very gracious.   Elsie Iudicello There were friends at church to. Again, that. Didn't forget who I was before the accident, but also appreciated that some pretty. Pretty big things had changed in my life that left me changed. It was always really hard when someone would say something like, well, why don't you do this with us? Used to always love doing that. And.   Elsie Iudicello And it was it was good to have friends that just recognized that there were certain things I had to set aside because I just wasn't capable of doing them anymore. But at the same time that I was still myself, if that makes any sense. They were just. I think they were just very sensitive in the way that they loved me. Part of it was that they listened, I think was the big thing. We had a lot of people that stopped by with their mouths full of advice and. Didn't maybe have ears that were ready to listen to what was going on. So, I think people that came over ready to just listen was really, really nice.   Liesel Mertes As someone who has had some years of experience of, you know, living and walking with this, what whether it's a word of hope or insight, what would you or or maybe just commiserating, what would you say to someone who's listening?   Elsie Iudicello I was going to say, can the first words be, I'm so sorry. I think I would say. Firstly, don't wait to get help. Don't wait to find someone that you can share your story with. And fight. Do whatever you can to get in to be seen by someone that can walk you through everything. Because it's not something that you have to battle alone. It doesn't have to be a shameful secret.   Elsie Iudicello Get in to see someone soon and also know that. You know, there are. That there are many facets to the body and that there are many different approaches to healing. And I think when I first was diagnosed with PTSD, I just assumed that that would mean a lifetime of hard-core medication. And that has not been my particular story. There have been a lot of I. And I want to be clear, I did go on medication. That was absolutely something that I thought I had to do at the time. But it was certainly not something that I had to engage with for the rest of my life. There were other. Alternatives that I was able to go after and incorporate. And then I would also say to just.   Elsie Iudicello To just be prepared to persevere. You know, I don't I don't think I quite realized that this would be something that I would carry for such a long amount of time. And I'm really thankful that I have people around me to support me, I know you asked a lot about initial relationships, but even now in my life I have. A lot of really wonderful support, and that's not something that I ever take for granted.   Elsie Iudicello And I know that there are a number of PTSD support groups out there for different people. So, if you are someone that is a little more isolated or just does not have a good community and reach out to one of those groups, it may feel awkward at first, but honestly, having. Someone just acknowledge what you're going through or to say I have those same symptoms or that happened to me as well. There, there is something, something is the right word, but I guess it just throws the light on everything and it makes it feel less dark and manly.   Liesel Mertes Do you have any words for someone who they would say someone that I love, or a friend or coworker is dealing with PTSD and I have no idea what to do?   Elsie Iudicello I think there's a lot to be said for picking your moment to be firm about something. I know that I had some well-meaning people in my life that wanted to push me in certain areas really, really, really quickly or that fought me on things that, looking back now, we're not really that important. And it just added a lot of mental strain and frustration.   Elsie Iudicello So, I know it's annoying sometimes to have someone that is all of a sudden afraid of so many things or that is struggling through something that feels very small. I still remember being afraid of shampoo. I was really afraid that there was a chemical in the shampoo that was going to trigger or something. I had a lot of irrational fears and I and I get that that was, you know, nonsensical to people that had an experience, what I experience. But, you know, that was maybe not something that needed to be the hill anyone needed to die on that day to try to figure out how to move forward. So, I think, you know, certainly there is a time, especially if someone is not wanting to get help or is. Maybe struggling with a lot of darker thoughts, even if you're just suspecting it and they haven't even said it out loud yet. You know, really choose your moment to be firm.   Elsie Iudicello Well, and just keep loving them. Keep loving them, because ultimately that's what we really, really need is to know that we're still loved even though we have been so radically changed.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   Here are three reflections from my conversation with Elsie If you care for someone that is living with PTSD, choose carefully where you want to push them.There are concerns, fears, and reactions that will not make logical sense to you.  As Elsie shared, love, listening and support is oftentimes what is needed most In Elsie’s words, is your mouth full of advice or are you ready to listen?People who were quick to give answers were rarely comforting.  Instead, bring a meal or a book by a favorite author.  Play on the floor with children or just sit in silence.  Laugh with them about old jokes, all of this can be much more meaningful than giving advice.  Elsie talked about how important it was that Jeff did not discount her, even though she was living within a mental struggle.When you interact with someone living with PTSD, be careful not to quickly write them off, minimizing their concerns with your words or actions.  Remember, someone that is living with PTSD is still themselves, even if they are changed.  What does it look like for you to live within the tension of the person being the same but different?   As we close our time, I want to take a moment to thank our sponsors.  FullStack PEO is a company that I love here in town; they are committed to providing employee benefits so you can focus on what matters most:  growing your business.  And Handle with Care HR Consulting, empowering forward-thinking companies to come alongside their people with empathy and compassion.  With engaging workshops and keynote sessions, Handle with Care helps you put empathy to work.   OUTRO

Fifteen years ago, Power Rangers Dino Thunder boomed onto our screens and now, 2 guys, Mike and Shawn are breaking down the show, episode by episode, recapping all the events within as they go into the grid. Follow along by watching Power Rangers Dino Thunder and listen to Mike & Shawn's thoughts on each episode afterwards. Who's the Golden Boy? Am I the Golden Boy? Oh, wait a minute, it's not Golden Boy, but Golden Rod. What? So, they named an episode of this show after Zeltrax's son? Is this a Zeltrax episode? Stay tuned and listen to all that, plus more! I hope you enjoy. Remember to rate, comment, and subscribe. Follow the podcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/GoIntoTheGrid Follow Mike on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mikemixtape Follow Shawn on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Shawn_AFK --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intothegrid/message

This episode starts off by reminiscing about the Antelope Valley Comedy Festival that John produced last weekend. Chase's ten year high school reunion is coming up and John just attended his 30th high school reunion. Boy does time fly. They vent about the woes of not remembering the names of old friends. Speaking of 'friends', they gab about John's appearance on the hit show Friends... What? So cool! Lastly, they end on a listener's email submission about movies from the 80's. Send us your questions/comments/segment ideas at generationgabpodcast.com. And as usual, give us a like or comment below if you're liking the podcast. Thanks for listening! 

www.commsolutionsmn.com- Public Schools have been beating the drum for a long time, saying that with just a little more money, they can do great things. Leaders in ISD 728 (Zimmerman, Rogers, Elk River) are trying to pass an $110,000,000/10yr operating levy and another referendum to float bonds for a new middle school and other nebulous building projects. Parent-turned-activist, Anne Kostrzewski, has started a Facebook page: Concerned Parents and Taxpayers of ISD 728. She wants to get community members interested and involved in what the school board is trying to fund. The district is pushing a concept called social/emotional learning. They sent out a survey to students earlier in the year that asked about 26 genders, sexuality, drugs, etc... They push equity issues that promote inequality. Yet, the district gets to promote their referendum all over the place without any opposing view points. It's high time parent's ask questions about whether what the school is proposing is really "for the kids" at all. We also discuss the recent actions of the City of Philadelphia, that chose to fly the communist Chinese flag in front of city hall in the name of diversity. What? So diversity is supporting a communist government over a group of people they are oppressing? A country that has murdered over 60 million of it's own people gets coddled, all because of the almighty dollar? What a strange world we live in. Have you checked out our Spotify playlist? At the beginning of each episode Jason quotes some song lyrics that have to do with the subject matter of the podcast. Andrew never knows what they are, but now he can… and so can you! We’ve launched the Spotify playlist: “Community Solutions Music From the Podcast!” You can listen to Roundabout from Yes after listing to Episode 30 on Roundabouts… or kick back and enjoy a rocking playlist just for the thrill of it. We add a new song every week. Subscribe and enjoy! Don’t forget that you can also subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify!

I help talented coaches attract premium clients at premium prices, so they can quickly and reliably build a 6-figure business doing what they love. Visit https://www.WilliamWinterton.com to see my exact process! Today I had the AMAZING honor and privilege of talking with Steve Larsen. For two years, Steve was the Lead Funnel Builder at ClickFunnels for Russell Brunson, and put over 500 sales funnels under his belt (but honestly, lost track a while ago). Eventually, he left ClickFunnels as an employee to get his own 2 Comma Club Award and his business crossed $1 million 13 months later. His podcast, Sales Funnel Radio, was created to share best practices, teach the finer points of marketing and “funnelology”. In today’s conversation, Steve shares a little of his backstory and how he eventually (by default) became the lead coach/trainer at a multi-million dollar company. He then goes into detail about how to create an offer that is PROVEN to attract clients. It’s a strategy that he has used with hundreds of clients, time and time again and he lays it out so cleanly, the AH-HA moments start exploding one after another after another! If you want to learn more about Stephen (including why he’s wearing that tee-shirt) check out this link: https://www.stevejlarsen.com Connect with WilliamFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/william.winterton.7LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/william-winterton/TRANSCRIPT: William Winterton Alright, I'm here on Coaching Success Radio. And I'm super stoked, because today I've got Steve Larson on, and I get a big show at the beginning here to kind of explain who he is. I would love to hear from you, man, who is Stephen Larsen, Stephen Larsen Someone who is still developing himself. (laughs) No… it's been fun. I first started out I was kind of an entrepreneur by not by choice, you know what I mean? I don't think many people, many kids grew up thinking like, you know, when I grow up, I'm going to be an entrepreneur, like it's just not a normal thing. But turns out, it's incredibly fun. And something that I was kind of thrown into when I found out I couldn't feed my lady, right, I can feed my new brain and stuff kind of hit the fan. And it was really rough for a long time. And I went through I recounted recently. It was my first 17 tries, didn't really work very well. And I went from everything from like, selling stocks and options, the real estate and diamonds and ebooks and daughter of sales. And I mean, I did a lot of stuff. And then I found out this thing called funnels, right, this funnel world was amazing. And it was about try number 17. And it was another 16 or 17 they weren't all failures, but it was like none of them were like the screaming successes, you know, it wasn't for another 16 or 17 to one was like, Whoa, holy cow, you know. So anyway, I've left my job as a ClickFunnels funnel builder and been doing on my own. And it's been awesome. William Winterton I think people anybody who's not aware, Sales Funnel Radio is a phenomenal resource. And it's just, you're basically telling your life through this podcast, right? Stephen LarsenYeah. William WintertonDocumenting your journey. So what I'd love to get into- because of a lot of our audience, we're talking to coaches, people who are just starting out in the coaching world, or people who are coaches and trying to figure out how this game works and how to actually make money in this. You'd kind of became a coach and that really wasn't your intention… I don't think in the beginning, but you somehow got handed this thing I think by Russell, probably, like, I need you to coach, all these people. And you had no idea the magnitude that's going to get to. Talk us through that story a little bit. Stephen Larsen But yeah, totally. So it actually was I've only been working for Russell for about almost two years. And it was probably six months in, we were at his old office, and we're sitting there and, you know, we sat literally back to back almost can see his face in the reflection of my monitors, you know, which freaked me out for a while I was like, Dude, don't say anything stupid. This is amazing, you know. And after a little while, though, he was on with his inner circle, he gets off, and he muted and he turned his camera off that is kind of like, here's a full day coaching and relax for a second I go, dude,, you're saying the same thing, basically, to every single person. And he was like, I was like, kind of funny to get is kind of funny. And he's like everything from a supplement to a makeup business to it's like crazy. E-com to info business to retail to it was like, I was like you're saying the same thing? And I was like, What if we created something between you and then so that you can take them from, you know, here and up instead of all the way from the ground all the way up. So what I did is I started going through like 12 years of his content and took me six months to organize it. And I said from this minute and second to this minute. Second, you're talking about this. But really, you should know these things before you know that and it was like this huge trail and it took a long time. And anyway, I begged to be we put into this members area, we made an event around it. And I begged to be the guy to go on stage and Russell couldn't. And they're like, oh, okay, we'll see. I don't know, but like, I wanted it real bad. And I begged and I, you know, played the game how I needed to and made sure I like getting my myself in there. And I had to be the guy to teach when Russell can get on stage. And that's when Steve was born. Right? That's when Steve Larson was born, I started finding my voice. And we all thought that I was going to be teaching and like, we thought I'd be teaching marketing. I was not planning on being a coach, I had no interest in being a coach. Nothing against it. It's just I was like, I'm really into funnels, you know, and I go and I'm standing on the stage and I start realizing that I'm teaching these models that work. But once they understand it, the real work begins because now they're going to start working to execute the model. That's where they need the coaching. And we all thought I'd be doing this like marketing stuff. And it wasn't I ended up helping them get through their own garbage. So they can even execute the model in the first place. And then, later on, it was the One Funnel Away challenge and Russell's like, dude, your DNA is built for this, you yell at people without them knowing you're yelling at them. And I was like, well, then one foot away started. And that's kind of how it happened. And that's the biggest thing I've realized as coaches. It's, it's, I mean, yes, we teach him like these cash models, but that's not why they fail. doesn't work for me. Yeah, but that's not why it's not gonna work for you. It's not gonna work for you. Because, you know, like, you haven't worked through enough of your garbage, Steven, execute that model. That's kind of what happened. William Winterton Yeah, so no, like, it's totally a very unconventional approach. Because a lot of people that I'm talking with I work with, they go through and have a ton of training, they learn to become a life coach or health coach or fitness coach, and they go through the halls coaching training. At the end of the day, your main goal is to get somebody from here to here, and you're just you've got a kind of a very unconventional approach to that in terms of like, Look, you know, I'm not taking it I've actually enjoyed listening to kind of you don't you don't take anybody's crap, like, yell at people very nicely, but like, I'm not dealing with it. So it's, it's a thing where you're now it kind of leads me to like the authority of offer creation. That's kind of where you've landed, man, you got to be the coach. Right? You still coaching though, but your main, kind of where you're, your sleepless landings at offer creation? talk about that a little bit? I know, that's kind of where your passion is. So Stephen Larsen Yeah, you know, everything, everything. can't sell anything without an offer. Right? So how do you craft that without, so it can be attractive and something that people get psyched about when they see it. And there's a lot that goes into that is, the better people can understand. This is true for coaches as well, you know, the better you can understand behavioral psychology, like why we make the decisions we do, the better coach you'll be. And the better marketer you actually end up being that actually, coaches and marketers are very similar with skill sets, in my opinion. So what's interesting is, like, as I go to these offer creation methods. I mean, they've worked for hundreds and thousands of people and so many people made a million dollars off the moon so so like, Man, I'm not gonna lie. Like the reason, I started yelling was out of pure frustration after a while. It wasn't like a stick. It was, and I'm getting a little impatient with this person who keeps asking, but will it work it for me and I have responded for 15 minutes, say, Yes, just do it. But I'm in a unique scenario, what? You found a way to negate 100,000-year-old brain like you have one to it works also. And so I started coming up with these rules for coaching. Right, like, I will put in as much as you put in, I will, and a lot of it came from Sean Stephenson actually. I was listening to him at the first phone hacking lab I went to and he was teaching the Coast Guard mantra. And he's like, you're right. And I know you I'm sure you've heard it right there. They go out and helicopter and there's a ship sinking and as more bodies in the water than his room and helicopter gut-wrenching decisions, who do you save, and he's like, you save those as swimming towards you. Right. And for a long time, I felt responsible for every single person that was coming in. And when I heard that, I was like, oh, man, I gotta stop. And so putting the ball back in their court. Look, here's your host. I'm teaching you how to make the money that way. But be prepared, because you're gonna have a lot of obstacles, you know, was a Robert Kiyosaki. And he's like, the moment you start down any journey, you're going to have these character flaws explode in your face, and you got to address them before we can move on. So it's funny because I love teaching the offer creation. But when I do, I mean only keeps in a few of the models right now. But it's just because I teach him and then I observe the behavior of the individual. And you go back and like Oh, man. Anyway, I love offer creation. It's amazing. It's the core and the heart of why we market but I've really, can you William Winterton Would you mind? I'm going to jump in here real quick. Can you Would you mind kind of walking us through offer creation of a very amazing term… it's very broad, somebody who doesn't understand it fully. We talked about having to build your offer, we talked about having to have your ideal client stuff, can you give us kind of a little snippet of a, you know, like Steve Larsen genius in that. Stephen Larsen Hopefully his genius Oh, man. Let me get some paper here. So we have to understand is like, so many times people… I feel like the way people made offers even five years ago was they would just start bundling stuff. And they'd be like, well, let's put this product in this product and this product and this product… and a lot of people would start assembling these offers, were the products inside the offer was just tons of stuff, right? It just stuff stuff, stuff, stuff. And a lot of it wasn't even related. So what I do, that's made it so unique is it's a combination of so marketing is just changing people's beliefs. So that they go buy something, right? That they're already in motion to buy. That's all marketing is. It's not logos and slogans, it's not cute little as nothing that business cards, I hate business cards. It's just, it's just changing beliefs with the intent of a sale. So what's interesting about my offer creation method is that it kind of incorporates that, and addresses the product of the same time. Anyway, so what I do, first of all, is I imagine my, my customer, and I'm like, let's think about this customer here, this customer, they're already momentum towards something, and they're already feeling pain. A lot of old-school copywriting courses would teach things like, you need to go and talk about the issues that your customer has, that they don't know they have so that you can then bring your solution. And there's some truth to that. But they already have problems though. And I want to sell somebody who is consciously aware of the problem that they have so that I don't have to create it, it actually kills half of the work that was taught like in the previous 10 years around copywriting, it shortcuts it like crazy, you don't need to do that. Just go and figure out. So my dream customer is somebody who is already a few things, they're already in pain, and they're conscious of that pain. They're already spending money that has been one of the most powerful criteria is ever, they're already aware of other solutions that are out there. And they've actually tried them. So huge. They already are consciously seeking another option. Right. And these are like, this is like a lot of things that I go and I think through before I even think about an offer, like sales message, offer funnel that comes like step 99. To be honest, what I do first is get ridiculous clarity on the who. And once I know the who this parts really fun and it's really at the foundation of how I create the offer. Every single customer that's out there has all these best problems, right? Or things they need solving. All I'm going to do is I'm going to start listing out problems. Now it's a gift. You know, like when you go to like, I say get Click Funnels. Okay, how many things did you have to solve in order to actually use Click Funnels? Right, like, I gotta learn how to write copy, right? I had to do that, you know, I remember the froze like, man, I can make a sales video, what kind of camera you know, or I gotta do this so that all these problems start popping up in order for you to actually have success. Right? And every single solution that you sell, somebody actually causes more problems. And that's, it's crazy to realize that and it's actually a gift to entrepreneurs. So all I do is I think through all these problems that this customer currently has and what they're wanting, and then I rank the problems is actually I do it. I called this called the core problem planner. That's what I call me. And, and I'm like, Oh, you know what, because not all problems pay me the same, I could solve the problem how to put groceries into a bag at the end of the checkout line. But that's not a very valuable problem to solve. Right? Right, I'm going to solve a problem that's a combination of super valuable for them, but also expensive and valuable for me so that I can get paid a lot. So engineering, this offer to create a lot of cash before, like before even think about the offer is I want to know at the heart of what I'm solving it's reason click falls can charge what they do. They solve an issue that is highly valuable. That and legitimately for both sides. And so at the beginning, before even think about a solution, I just want to know what problem I'm going to dedicate my entire business to solve. That is how I figured out the foundation of my offer. Now all I do is think about my one solutions, one solution that I call the core solution, one core solution. And this is this part super fun and easy as well. So I think about one core solution. And then I start thinking about like, well, what are the follow-up problems that that solution creates, such as Click Funnels crap, now I needed to figure out what a sales letter is. Right? Then all I do is I think through little tiny mini solutions for all the following problems I can think of. And that becomes my offer, that becomes the stack slide as we call it. And that's it. And now it's coming and problem derives rather than what should I go create, which is what college taught me. So backward. I'm not the one buying it. Who cares? Right? William Winterton Yeah, you're not your ideal client at all? Stephen Larsen No, yeah. So that's how we bed. So very fast. William Winterton That's how we got. And that's great. And I think that's the thing we get so wrapped up in and I talked to coaches all day long. And they're their biggest thought, at least a lot of them are, I've got to get more training, I've got to learn how to do this better. I've got to become a better coach, I've got to do all this stuff. And it's like they learned they learned they learned that perpetually schooling and learning. And it's awesome because they're continually you know that they're feeding that right? When it comes out to, you know, creating something, the number of times I see people who are like, Hey, I'm a life coach and a health coach. And that's what they say you're like, Yeah, but what do you Who do you serve? What's your Fix? Right? Yeah. So so what you just laid out and how people are realizing this, this is what you're laying out is is so key to actually making your coaching business work. Yeah, get offered place, you're just another face in the crowd Really? Stephen Larsen So true. Before even thinking about what you do, I was thinking about who you want to serve. In fact, that's where I got stuck for years as I was like, what products I sell, what should I sell? What should I sell? And it was like something I kind of whipped myself with for years. It wasn't until I switched it that actually started making money. I mean, it was that stark of a switch. And instead of saying, What do I sell, it's, who do I sell? And when I got clear on that, what to sell was actually chosen by the who knows, like, Oh, that's way easier. I don't have to be this prolific, creative genius, and make something that no one has ever seen, like college and mainstream entrepreneurship teaches. That's false. And others like us, we just have to the game ever. William Winterton Nice. Hey, Steve, I would keep you on here for another hour too, because I just feel like I just suck value out of you all day long. I have to respect your time. I know you got like a minute left probably the most. Is there anything that I have not asked you that would just be for a coach who is maybe not brand new, but maybe has been stuck? Maybe they've been going for a couple of years? And they're just stuck? Is there something you would just throw at them for? Can you also lose a little bit? Stephen Larsen Yeah, hundred percent what I realized my role is and kind of for some of it offends some people, man, I'm not trying to offend anybody. I just this is what I learned was that you know, I was in high school, I was 35% body fat. I had a double chin working on a triple, right. I was a big boy. I was getting picked on. I got straight D's I pretty much I got mercy graduated from high school, I went to college I got kicked out because I got pretty much straight F's. And I to wait for years to go back to reapply. I was told that I probably have ADHD, which that's not confirmed that I don't really care anymore. But whatever. Like I had a near clinical fear of speaking to adults, especially I would see an adult down the hall and I would walk the other way physically freaked me out. I had some real issues. And I would call myself like the least likely success story. So what the thing I had to realize is that funny enough when that counselor that was going to he's like you probably have ADHD, it became another whip. Oh, man, you're I don't qualify anymore. Like, I can't be I already knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I can't be an entrepreneur anymore because of Look at all this evidence. Look, I got kicked out. Look I got right. And it wasn't until I realized that. That man, those are gifts. Like every single thing in my life that has been bad. I've had to face and until I actually consciously faced it, it became a strength. And now Funny enough, one of the things I'm known for, and I'm like, What? So what's funny, this is what I realized my role as a coach is it's just this and I know why people ask what they do now, right? They my role of a coach is to teach these cash models, right? This is what they want. This is what they want what they need, is this, right? And they're going to go through some serious crap along the way. And they need to realize that the obstacle is the way Ryan Holliday quote and actually keep a coin on my desk that says the obstacles away as a reminder, I ended up learning how to learn four years later went back to college almost got straight A's the whole time, right little coin obstacles the way. And on the back says the impediment to action advances action, what stands in the way becomes the way and I freakin' love this right. And I went I lost tons of weight and started competing in sprint triathlons and placing in them. I learned how to speak you wouldn't know that I was afraid of speaking now. Right? It was by me. Like they want whatever you're coaching them for. But what they need is to realize that all this crap in their life, all these reasons why they feel like they're unqualified, or the very reason they'll be followed in the future. But most of them don't get it. And so what happens is, while I'm in the middle of my coaching, and I'm teaching this, but I'm starting to observe this, they start doing some of these things. Oh, Stephen. I just don't have the time right now. You know, I just wish that I or Stephen, you know, I so wish right now, like, I can't do this because of this, right? And they want me to say yes. And the moment I say yes, I release them, I release them. And it's why I started yelling. Because they would look at me. And they'd be like, well, Stephen, what this. So this only works for those will be like three weeks into the one phone away challenge. So you're saying this, this only works than for the scenarios, right? What is wrong with you, right? I've gone over this time and time again, talk asked me to let you go cuz I'm not going to, which means you are going to let you go. So you face you in the mirror next time. And that's what's so funny. And people would like to poop their pants half of them will leave. But we're left with these people who are ready to actually face the crap in their life obstacles the way and realize that, and the funnel we launched last week, I'm still using the same principles that I learned six years ago, has nothing to do with the model anymore. It has everything to do with how far I'm willing to grow and face my obstacles and find the next one to find the next one and read it develop me keep the goal what it is and break me on the goal. Don't change the goal, break me on it and keep building me on it. And I keep killing all these nasty character flaws that I didn't know I had. And that's what people run into. And so when you're coaching somebody, whatever it is, that's what I'm watching for, as I'm watching for this logical release that they want me to give so I can justify them bowing out and I'm like not going to do it. Not going to do it. I'm going to make you feel the heat. Right. And anyway, but that's what I remember the obstacles away. William Winterton That's awesome, man. Awesome. See you guys been a pleasure. Thanks so much for jumping on. And hey, I'd love to have you back at some point. Whenever your schedule freezes up for the next you know, 35 days. Stephen Larsen You're the man Dude, this has been awesome. Love to be on the show. William Winterton Thanks so much.

Today, a conversation with Danny Boy O’Connor, who went from 90s hip hop star to passionate preservationist, transforming The Outsiders House into a museum, and a point of pride for Tulsa.Then, City Editor Morgan Phillips steps up to the plate for an extra-sporty edition of What the What?So let’s talk, Tulsa.That’s the voice of Danny Boy O’Connor, savior of the now-revered “Outsiders” house once destined for demolition. He’s turning it into a pop culture museum centered on the 1983 film filmed here in Tulsa, as well as its inspiration: the book written by Tulsan S.E. Hinton when she was a 15-year-old student at Will Rogers High School.To Danny Boy (and now, to many others) the Outsiders house was always more than a movie set; the home, like the film, represented a simpler time, like the childhood summers he spent traveling from his home in Los Angeles to his native New Jersey.The hip-hop group House of Pain was comprised of Danny Boy and rappers Everlast and DJ Lethal. They released three albums in the 90s; their first, “Fine Malt Lyrics,” went multi-platinum. Fast-forward many years and several world tours later, and eventually House of Pain split up; Danny Boy later reunited with Everlast and DJ Lethal to form the group La Coka Nostra. And that brought Danny Boy to Tulsa, Oklahoma, in 2009.That moment sparked something in Danny. It eventually led him to create the Delta Bravo Urban Exploration, a team that finds and documents culturally relevant sites such as the shooting locations for films, TV, music videos and album covers. But his first love, his labor of love, is the Outsiders House, a representation of the film that so strongly affected him all those years ago. Danny Boy bought the house for $15,000 in 2015 and began the process of restoring the dilapidated property back to the iteration seen in “The Outsiders” film.Thanks so much for Listening to Tulsa Talks! If you enjoyed this episode, tell a friend about the show, and leave us a rating or review on iTunes, Google Play and Spotify.Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, @TulsaPeople, or head to our home on the web, TulsaPeople.com/podcast. There, you’ll find show notes and more info about our guests and topics. On a personal note, I wanted to thank you for all the support you’ve shown this podcast. It’s been a labor of love for both myself and Morgan Phillips, the show’s producer. Morgan is already working on season 3, which is going to sound a little different. That’s right, TulsaPeople’s new digital editor, Tim Landes, will be your host, and the new voice of all TulsaPeople’s digital endeavors. Meanwhile, I’m on to the next chapter of my life with a move to Chicago. I’m super excited, but very sad to be leaving TulsaPeople. My work here has meant a lot, and has really shaped me as a person. But, I know I’m leaving y’all in capable hands, and I can’t wait to see what Tim does with the podcast and our social media — as a follower and a listener from afar!Every episode, we play you out with some local music. This is Annie Ellicott's "Shadows Live" from her album "Lonesome Goldmine." Annie is currently touring with actor and jazz musician Jeff Goldblum in the US and Europe. Visit annieellicott.com for more music from this local artist.

Here's the last episode of my talk on the story of Gideon. And now we see Gideon calls all the people forward, gathers 32,000 into an army and they are ready to go! This is a good sized army, but not compared to the 135,000 they are up against. Then, God tells Gideon "You have too many people." What?? So 22,000 people go home. "Alright, are we good?" Gideon thinks. "You have too many people" God responds, and whittles them down to just 300. Only 1% of the original army is left! ------ Comment here: https://meditateonchrist.com/when-god-uses-only-1-percent-gideons-story-part-5/

For the first time since 2004, Kansas will not finish atop the Big 12 standings. The greatest streak in college hoops history is done. Parrish and Norlander open on that, then get to Texas Tech and Kansas State (11:00) fighting out the top of the league, in addition to a discussion on whether or not Chris Beard is a top-five (or top-10) coach in college hoops. Meantime, Duke (23:45) barely won at home vs. Wake Forest on Tuesday night. What? So with that, and with Zion unlikely to play at UNC on Saturday, Norlander poses the questions: Did Duke handle the initial timeline for Zion correctly and is he vulnerable to losing NPOY to his teammate? The guys close with thoughts on the sentencing that came down Tuesday (37:45) for the three men charged in the college basketball corruption case.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ahhh...work-life balance.....What SO many Nurse Practitioners are looking for... but can't seem to find. And in today's podcast episode... I'm telling you WHY. So if that 'perfect' work-life balance is something you still find yourself looking for... this episode is for YOU. Now go ahead and PUSH PLAY... You deserve to know the truth.   For more info and show notes go to: laurenshannonnp.com/11

One of the most common questions asked by CrossFit gym owners is one of the most difficult to solve. Like so many things in fitness, the correct answer is "It depends." But I've never been satisfied on that answer, and when I hear it, I always want to reply: "Depends on WHAT?" So here you go: the real answer. Should you put your prices on your website? It depends what phase of entrepreneurship you're in. If you're not sure which phase you're in, start by taking thetest here. If you're in the Founder phase, keep your prices off your website. You need as many conversations with potential clients as possible. You might convert someone who would have been turned off by your rates before they experienced your coaching prowess; but more likely, you just need more practice doing consultations anyway. Get as many in the door as you can. Remain undaunted by price-objectors.If you're in the Farmer phase and have a high ARM (average revenue per member per month) and a high LEG (length of engagement), keep your prices off your website. You no longer WANT every client, but the high lifetime value (ARM x LEG) of the clients you DO get If you're in the Farmer phase and have either a low ARM or low LEG, put your prices on your website. Your best opportunity isn't to get new people in the door. It's to increase ARM and LEG for your current clients, and focus only on the clients who will drive those numbers out. Let people self-select based on price, and use the time on goal reviews with your current clients instead. If you're in the Tinker phase, put your prices on your website. Right up front. You no longer have time for people who need to be sold on price. When Catalyst passed the point of 33% profit margin, I started experimenting with our prices. I put the prices on our site; then took them off. Without a doubt, fewer new people booked consultations with the prices on our site. But by that point, I didn't want to talk to everyone. The exact thing I said to our GM was: "If only four people out of ten are going to sign up after our consultation, then I only want to talk to those four." The other six were mostly price objectors. When I put our prices on our site, our conversion rate virtually reached 100%. Did I miss a few people that I might have convinced? Maybe. But at that point, I was willing to let the "maybes" fall away, and focus only on the people who weren't going to think about our rate every month. One of the key differentiators between Founder, Farmer and Tinker phase is your Effective Hourly Rate (EHR). You determine your EHR by dividing the Time you spend into the Money you make (EHR is money divided by time.) We call this the Kingmaker Equation. When your time isn't worth much (your EHR is low), then spend it on consultations. Get people in the door. Work on talking to people and helping instead of selling. When your EHR moves past $50 per hour (Farmer phase), you have to think about the value of each potential client. If your ARM and LEG are high, then it's probably worth meeting as many people as possible, even if only 40% sign up, because their lifetime value is so big. If ARM and LEG are low, then you have bigger problems than how many leads you get anyway. But when your EHR moves past $500 per hour (Tinker phase), you really don't have time to waste on someone who doesn't know your price. It's not their fault they can't afford you; do everyone a favor and save them the time.

Summary “If I speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don't have love, I have become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.” -The Apostle Paul, writing to the people of Corinth Later we’ll see that the Dalai Lama says something quite similar. What a wonderful reminder to me, as I struggle to get my thoughts and words exactly right two times a week, every week. If I do not ground everything that I do, including this podcast, in love, I am just a(nother) clanging cymbal. Healthcare in general, and pre-existing conditions in particular, are much in the news. Let’s talk about love as a pre-existing condition. Transcript “If I speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don't have love, I have become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.” -The Apostle Paul, writing to the people of Corinth. Later we’ll see that the Dalai Lama says something quite similar. What a wonderful reminder to me, as I struggle to get my thoughts and words exactly right two times a week, every week. If I do not ground everything that I do, including this podcast, in love, I am just a(nother) clanging cymbal.   Healthcare in general, and pre-existing conditions in particular, are much in the news. Let’s talk about love as a pre-existing condition. Prior to 2014, pre-existing medical conditions were not covered by health  insurance. If you had a serious condition, you could not get care unless you were able to pay for it out-of-pocket--if you couldn’t, you would continue to suffer. A pre-existing medical condition is a negative. Let’s look at love as a pre-existing heart condition. Unlike pre-existing medical conditions, love as a pre-existing condition is a positive. And more than that, I am making the case that it is a requirement. It is a requirement if you want to make things better. If your focus is on simply being right, then steer away from loving others; loving others will conflict with your desire to win, your desire to be right, and will push you, inexorably, into finding what is right rather than being right. Starting with finding what is right for the other person. And there’s another difference. Pre-existing medical conditions are unwanted, and the struggle is to rid ourselves of them. Love, seen here as a pre-existing condition, is terribly fragile, and will vanish in a moment if we are not focused and committed. Just as we fight to rid ourselves of medical conditions, we must fight to seize--and to hold onto--love as a pre-existing and, ideally, an always-existing, permanent condition. Here’s a quote, “Love is coming through for the other person when you don’t much want to.” -Will Luden Today’s key point (yes, it comes early in the podcast today): You cannot--cannot--love another and focus on being right and making them wrong. Pick one. None of this means that you cannot work to persuade. Spend a bit of time getting to know something about the other person. What makes them tick. It is easy to find out what they believe by asking open-ended questions, now find out why they believe it. Open ended questions like, “That was helpful; how did you come to that conclusion?” Compare that with, “What? So you are a Trumpist” or, “What? So you are a Never-Trumper? (pick one one of those--neither leads to a useful discussion). After you have established some sort of a connection, shown genuine interest, “Earn(ed) the right to be heard.” as some put it. And I like the way they put it. After that, you have a reasonable chance to be heard yourself. No, now is not the time to state your beliefs, start with where they are (now that you actually know where they are), and gently lead them toward your thinking. And, who knows, you might even learn something from them by following this path. Learn something about them, gain a new perspective on your own beliefs--or simply make a new friend. Yes, we can be friends with people who do not share our convictions and beliefs. Oh, follow-on key point: Stick with issues,

We sit down with Rod, 1/2 of The Black Guy Who Tips to talk about his experiences as a black man in Corporate America and hear his advice for engaging your own creative outlets.Length: 19:31Host: ZachThe Black Guy Who Tipshttp://www.theblackguywhotips.com/Rodhttps://twitter.com/rodimusprimeKarenhttps://twitter.com/rodimusprimeTRANSCRIPTZach: What's up, y'all? It's Zach with Living Corporate, and yes, you're listening to a B-Side. Now, look, yes, we've talked about B-Sides before, but remember, every episode is somebody's first episode. So for our new folks, B-Sides are essentially random, looser shows in-between our larger shows. These are much less structured and somehow even more lit--yes, even more lit--than our regularly scheduled shows. If you wanna know what I mean by more lit, Sound Man gon' drop some air horns right here. Sound Man, give 'em to me. [Sound Man obliges]Zach: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Now, listen, sometimes, you know, we have discussions as a follow-up to the regular full-time shows just with the hosts. Sometimes it's one host having an extended monologue, and sometimes we actually have a special guest. Yes, that's right, a special guest, and today is no different. We actually have Rod, A.K.A. half of the show from The Black Guy Who Tips.Rod: Hey, thanks for having me, man.Zach: Hey, man, thank you. Man, thank you for being here. Now, look--look, look, look. Rod is an entrepreneur, a comedian, writer, and most prominently half of the firepower behind The Black Guy Who Tips. Rod, along with his lovely wife Karen Morrow, A.K.A. SayDatAgain on social media, record out of North Carolina where they talk about everything you want to hear about. With that being said, welcome to the show, Rod. How you doin', man?Rod: Hey, I'm happy to be here. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you reaching out.Zach: Man, I appreciate you responding, bro. And it's funny, you talk about Twitter fame--you talk about celebrity and, like, being famous, right? And I was about to make, like, a "you famous" joke, but I recognize that some people have various levels of sensitivity about that, so. [laughs] For those of us who don't know you, man, explain the title of The Black Guy Who Tips.Rod: The Black Guy Who Tips is a comedy podcast. The title basically started from--there's so much anti-blackness in the service industry towards black, like, people as patrons, and my wife and I, we both co-host this podcast. My wife and I, we both used to be waiters as well. During all this time as waiters and stuff, you know, we faced--we were on the other side. We got to see what waiters and companies think of black patrons, and it's not cool, you know? And a lot of 'em have racist attitudes, and then they go "Black people don't tip," you know? They treat us like trash and they expect us to not just tip but basically to overtip to compensate for the fact that we're black. Now, the original title is from a blog I used to write. It was a comedy blog, and I called myself The Black Guy Who Tips because I was like, "I'm sick of people saying black people don't tip." So if you're saying that, you know at least one black person who tips if you read my blog. It's me, and I know I'm not--I know I'm not alone. I'm not--you know, I'm not the only one.Zach: Absolutely not, man. Listen, I also tip, okay? And I always at least tip 15%, okay? Now--Rod: Yeah. I overtip, and I wish I could get that out of my system because--I overtip mostly because I used to be a server, but part of it is the black thing that hangs over all black people where we feel like we're always representing everyone, and it's not fair that--you know, 'cause I've done--I've been in situations where I'm like, "Man, this guy was terrible. What a horrible waiter. I'm only gonna give him 20% because I am sick--" You know? Like, I should just not tip this dude. Like, he was terrible, but for some reason--I hope I get over that hang-up one day, man.Zach: It's funny, right, because I actually have a friend, and he worked at a Pappadeaux's out here in Houston, and so--and he's a white brother. So what he would do is--he said when people would come in and they'd be black people, they wouldn't say, "Oh, we got black people over there," they would use code language. Rod, you wanna know what the code language they used to say, "Oh, we got some black folks over here?"Rod: I hope it wasn't Canadians.Zach: It was Canadians, dawg.Rod: Aw! See? I've been on the other side. I've dealt with it. It's the worst. Zach: [laughs] Yes, man. They be like, "Yeah, we got some Canadians over there." I'm curious, before you started The Black Guy Who Tips Live and before you started doing that full-time, did you have any moments, while you working in Corporate America, that you were like, "Wow, you've clearly never worked with a black man before," and I ask because we're coming off a full episode with Michael Williams, who's a financial banking executive, and he was talking about his stories and his experiences in Corporate America, and I'm just curious, man, do you have any similar stories about like, "Wow, it's clear that you have just never worked with a black man before."Rod: Uh, yeah. I have a few. You know, I worked in Corporate America for--oh, man, since I was 16 I think. I was doing internships and also during the summer working as a waiter and stuff. So yeah, I have plenty of stories. One quick one, I had a manager later in my career, like, one of the last managers I ever had. I had a manager who was a white dude from, like, New Jersey. Pretty--you know, a guy that you would see generally as a pretty progressive white man for an older white man. Like, I never felt he was overtly racist, but he was very, like, liberal racist.Zach: Okay. [laughs]Rod: And so he would do this thing where we'd get in a meeting and--I don't know if you've ever been in a meeting like this, but some white dudes, like, really dramatize their anger. Like, anger is their thing at work.Zach: Yeah.Rod: You know, he wasn't angry towards anyone in the room. He was never rude or mean to anyone. I never saw him snap, but he would do stuff like be angry at a situation. So he'd be like, "Oh, and this," you know, "F-word." Not the slur, but, like, you know.Zach: Right, right, right.Rod: "This mother F-word would do this, and this son of a B would do that," and I'm like, "Okay." So he's angry, right, and he's frustrated, and he has that room to do that, and so we'd be at a meeting and then, like, if I were to be like, "Well, you know, I was working with this vendor, and they did this, and I just don't understand why they would do that because essentially it's gonna cost them extra money, and I'm trying to convince them to do blank, and it'll help everyone out." He would, like, put his hand on my shoulder like, "Calm down, Rod. It's okay." You know? "Don't be too upset." I'm like, "I'm not upset." He's like, "Yeah. It's okay, big fella." I'm like, "What is happening right now?" Like, I'm gonna get upset, and it took a few of those meetings before I realized, "Oh, he's kind of, like, afraid of me in a way that's not--" Like, it makes me uncomfortable because it puts--he's my manager, but he's putting me in a position where I'm, like, an aggressor and I'm not, yet he walks around all day spouting off, you know, cuss words and all this stuff and it's okay. So yeah, I was like, "This guy just doesn't know black people, I guess."Zach: Man--so look, let's trade a couple stories until we run out. Let's see how awkward we can get with some of these stories about just working while black, okay? So here I--so I heard yours, so I'ma match yours with this one. So this was before I got into consulting, right? And I was working--I was working in the energy space. It was my birthday. So my boss wasn't there for my birthday, and to your point, she was also a very liberal white woman. She would--I think by all other accounts you would consider her progressive, right? So I walk into my cubicle, and I see, like, this shadow. Like, I see, like, a shadow, like, in my cubicle. I'm like, "Who is sitting at my desk?" Now, Rod, I then walk into my cubicle, and I see this big, inflated, light-skinned monkey in my chair.Rod: No way.Zach: Yes way. So then I see the monkey, and I'm like, "What is this?" So then I turn the monkey around, and it has a little--like, a little necklace thing on it, like a lanyard, and it says "Happy birthday, Zach."Rod: Wow. Dude, that's--that's insane.Zach: So I look at it, and I'm like, "What?" So then I take it and--so, you know, again, my boss isn't there, so first--of course I take a picture. I gotta take a picture. I send it to my parents, and then I take it and I put the monkey at her desk 'cause she's not there. So then the next day, right, she goes, "Hey, did you see my monkey?" "Did you see the monkey yet? Did you see your birthday present?" And I said, "I did. Yeah, that was really disappointing and inappropriate," right? So, not that it would be a surprise to you at all, I then got turned into I have the attitude problem, I'm overly sensitive--Rod: Mm-hmm.Zach: Right? She starts crying, tearing up. I'm like, "What is going on? You put a monkey at my desk, right?" And it's just like, "Wow." Like, "You clearly never considered," you know? And, you know, she came out later and was like, "You know, I like monkeys." Like, "Monkey is, like, my favorite animal," blah blah blah blah, and I'm like, "Okay." I mean, that's fine for you personally, right? But for you to then give that to somebody, and such a big one too, right? It wasn't even like a small gesture, dawg. It was huge. It was--so I'm 6'2", so it wasn't as big as me, but it was a big monkey, man. Like, it was big enough to when I walked around the corner I thought--I thought someone was sitting at my desk. It was crazy, man. So let me ask you something, 'cause, you know, I know you--what would you have done in that situation? I just want to--like, off the cuff, what would've been your reaction?Rod: Well, see, here's the thing. I'm not very reactionary, and I'm probably, believe it or not, one of the more patient people most people know. I probably would've not been too moved to anger or offense or shock, but I would've taken that monkey out of my cubicle for sure, put it somewhere, like, in a car or something, like, somewhere away from me, and then I would've pulled her to the side and been like, "Listen, I don't know how this goes with you and other black people, but don't do that again towards me, and you probably should never do that again with another black person because my assumption is you're not aware but this can be perceived as racist, and this is why," you know? And, you know, my general responses that I've had from checking white people on racism has not been one of too much animosity, but mostly because I'm just not--I'm very rarely triggered to anger, so for the most part I haven't had to deal with a fragile white person breaking down crying and stuff, but yeah, I mean, you did the right--there's nothing you did wrong, and there's nothing--you know, like I said, I can only hope that that would be the response is that they'd be like, "My bad," you know what I mean? 'Cause--I mean, what else do I want at that point? If I don't want you fired, then I just want a "My fault, playa. Won't do it again," and then I'm cool. It'll become a funny story that I remember and tell people or whatever, but yeah, I don't--you know, I probably would handle it pretty even-keel, probably wouldn't have went to HR even though I would've had every right to. I'm just not that kind of person really.Zach: You transitioned from, you know, working for somebody else to really building--so I don't want to be hyperbolic and say an empire, right? Or a dynasty and be corny, but you've built something for yourself. Like, you and your wife of course, with the help of your wife, and shout out to the wives out there. I mean, my wife, she's not on my podcast, but she definitely supports me and helps me and holds me down as I'm doing all of this stuff, but, you know, what advice would you give to people who are actively in Corporate America, black and brown folks who are trying to navigate, especially if they're trying to navigate and they're thinking about ways to find another avenue outside of working a 9-to-5.Rod: Yeah, okay. Man, there's so much I can say. I'll start with--first, in my Corporate America stint where I got laid off twice in the span of the, like, four years I was doing the podcast while working--and maybe it was 5, but either way--the podcast I always treated like I would treat if I had a second job. Like, I made sure to make the time and the preparation, and I treated it in many ways like a full-time job before it was a full-time job, so by that I mean it was not a hobby. Now, there's nothing wrong with a podcast as a hobby. There's nothing wrong with anything as a hobby. We need--especially as black people, we need outlets outside of corporate structures, specifically corporate structures that are encapsulated, white spaces. So, you know, you always have these voices inside that might not get out, and you need to feed that voice 'cause it'll die if you let it. Zach: Right.Rod: So for me I'll say look, work on your craft as if you're already doing it full-time to a certain extent. Be professional, you know? Think about your sound quality. Think about the time commitment. Consistency is key. These are all boring things I'm telling you, but the boring things are what--the boring things is basically Mr. Miyagi making you wash his car and sand his bench, but then when you become--when you make that transition into trying to monetize it, you already know, you know, wax on wax off, and that's what keeps it working. That's what makes it easy, the basics. So yeah, learn your craft, learn your tools, right? You learn your microphones that you use, how to get the best sound out of it. Your internet setup, how to get your best communication when you want to have guests. You're gonna have to learn, you know, your equipment and internet hosting things, you know? Like, what are the differences on sites? All that stuff. Everything is so Google-able at this point. YouTube has so many tutorials. I use Audacity to record. It's a basic, free software. I still use it to this day.Zach: Same here, yeah. For sure.Rod: Right, and I know people that would pay, like, hundreds and thousands of dollars for rigs, and you're like--then they hit me up, "How'd you get that sound?" I'm like, "Oh, Audacity," and they hit up--you know? So yeah, there's plenty of ways, plenty of paths, and then the most thing that I would want you to remember from coming from a Corporate America background where they really do a job on our brains of trying to smush us all into these cubicles and these boxes and this linear thinking of "All of us should think the same way. Don't think outside of the box. Don't be too creative," right? When you're in your personal space and you're creating something from scratch for yourself, make it for you. Make it as personal as you would like. I made the podcast I would love to have heard when I was working. I made the podcast that was gonna be with me five days a week and talk about topics that were random but could be comedic, could be serious. I made the podcast that was gonna, like, make me not feel like a crazy person in a corporate structure where you go to work and some of your people that you work with voted for Trump. Some of the people you work with, you know, you may be the only black person they know, you know? But I wanted to make a show for black and brown people all over the globe where they didn't feel alone for a couple hours a day or whatever, so they would be like, "Oh, yeah. Okay, so you saw that too, and that was crazy to you as well. Yeah, okay, cool. You know, this is like sitting at the lunch table again," and many podcasts have done that for me as well as a listener, working and working for myself. Those are, like, the basic things I would say.Zach: Man, that's dope, Rod. I appreciate it, man. I'm curious, man, before we wrap up--first of all, I have a random, unrelated question. Do you see yourself creating another video on social media that has as much vitriol as that Kit Kat video?Rod: [laughs] I don't think I could do that if I tried. I don't even know--I have no idea what goes viral. There's another video of me eating (Talenti?) where I smoked it like a heroin spoon.Zach: Yeah, I saw that. [laughs]Rod: Yeah, and now--and for some reason that never one goes truly viral, but I'm like, "That's the most creative one I ever did."Zach: That one was wonderful.Rod: Yeah. The Kit Kat one was just me being--I just thought it would be funny, and I have several other videos of--I had one where I tried to--I can't remember. Oh, I tried to--[laughs] I'm sorry. I tried to snort candy corn.Zach: [laughs]Rod: [laughs] It was so ridiculous, but that one didn't get picked up. So hey, man, I have no idea what will make people mad. I'm not trying to make 'em mad, but boy, did that one make 'em mad. Zach: So beyond the implication of, like, you, like, actually, like, harming yourself, it'd be really funny if you melted down a Hershey's bar and, like, injected it between your toes.Rod: Right. [laughs] You should've heard the idea board that I've just thrown at my wife over the, like--"You know what I should do? I should take a Kit Kat, and I'ma put it in some soup or something," and she's just like, "Don't do that." I'm like, "You right. You right."Zach: [laughs] Man, I shared that video with my wife. I shared that video of the Kit Kat with my wife. She was like, "Oh, I'm just so offended." Dawg, she was so mad. [laughs]Rod: People were watching it like I, like, hurt a small child or something like that. They're like *gasps* "Why would you do that?" I'm like, "It's just a candy bar. You can eat it how you want."Zach: You also dunked on 'em at the end when you said, "Are you mad?" [laughs]Rod: [laughs] And they were mad. Who knew? They were really mad, man. I thought we'd all have a laugh, but we did not.Zach: Any shout outs? Any at all. Any shout outs you have at all.Rod: I mean--well, you know, obviously my wife Karen. Could not do The Black Guy Who Tips without her.Zach: Yes, shout out to Karen. Air horns for Karen, yes.Rod: Ironically, like, honestly, the show would not be named The Black Guy Who Tips, but she did not--she was not sure she would make a good co-host, which anybody that has listened to our show is like, "What?"Zach: That's crazy, straight up.Rod: Like, I don't feel--like, I don't even take it as offense anymore. It's like, "I know nobody comes for me. They're coming for Karen, and then I'm just out there throwing alley-oops and letting her dunk over people." So yeah, it's that, but it would be probably The Rod & Karen Show, which may not be nearly as--would have gotten it the same traction, so maybe it helped out even though she wasn't trying to. Yeah, that would be the--obviously all the podcasts I listen to and all the podcast friends and family that we've established over the years, and black podcasters, podcasters of color in general, you know? We out here. Our voices are important. Don't give up, man. Just keep making the show for you. Don't look at other people's race. Run your race, and, you know, try to be better every time you take the mic. That's the best, realest advice I can give.Zach: Man, Rod, we appreciate it. That does it for us here on the Living Corporate podcast. Make sure to follow us on Instagram at LivingCorporate, Twitter at LivingCorp_Pod, and subscribe to our newsletter through living-corporate.com. We also have a Patreon, so if you can spare a dollar a month--yes, just a dollar--to support content that explores the perspectives and experiences of black and brown people in Corporate America, show us some love. If you have a question you'd like for us to answer and read on the show, make sure you email us at livingcorporatepodcast@gmail.com. My name is Zach. You've been listening to Rod, A.K.A. Rodimus Prime, A.K.A. half of the firepower behind The Black Guy Who Tips. Go ahead, shout 'em out one last time, Rod.Rod: TheBlackGuyWhoTips.com. Find us, okay? You can go on Twitter at TBGWT. You can follow me on Twitter at RodimusPrime, and drop the air horns right now.[Sound Man drops 'em]Zach: There it is. [laughs] Peace. Kiara: Living Corporate is a podcast by Living Corporate, LLC. Our logo was designed by David Dawkins. Our theme music was produced by Ken Brown. Additional music production by Antoine Franklin from Musical Elevation. Post-production is handled by Jeremy Jackson. Got a topic suggestion? Email us at livingcorporatepodcast@gmail.com. You can find us online on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and living-corporate.com. Thanks for listening. Stay tuned.

Here we are, the end of an era. Before the reboots, this is where it all ended. That's all she wrote, until she wrote more.BEN FINALLY GETS DUNKED ON. WHAT? So does New Jersey (we are less surprised by that). We find out Mike does a pretty good impression. We find out there are definitely real deleted scenes with Alanis Morissette and find out what irony truly is (it was in our hearts all along).Don't forget to check out our guest Kate's podcast at https://subvertedtropescast.podbean.com/Ben is bad and he should feel bad. Mike parties like the Greeks of old.

The Livn Legend returns with another edition of "The Monologue." This time talking new season of the St. Louis Cardinals and does NOT go after Mike Matheny. WHAT? So he turned his attention to a conversation he had with a friend about race in the city of St. Louis. Then he turned his attention to a time last year where THIS show was going to partner with another podcast network, and how it was dissed by the network's founder in the direction it would go. The Livn Legend unleashed. NOTE: The following contains language that some might find objectionable. Parental discretion is advised.

I often see people asking if their co-worker, mother sister or their dog can buy their Private label product on Amazon FBA... Of  course, they can buy your product on Amazon FBA Everyone can, and should buy your product! Someone mentioned on a Facebook group that anyone that is friends with you on Facebook is not allowed to buy your product! What??? So, you honestly think Amazon can see who my friends are, and even if they could, they would even go through the trouble of checking my friend's lists and comparing reviews per IP or per friends name and address? If you believe that would happen, you live in a world of paranoia! Let everyone that you know buy you private label product or even your retail arbitrage products. Actually, you should convince them to buy bigger quantities, lol To be quite honest I share my products links with friends and family all the time. what I don't do is ask them to give me a review. This is an Amazon FBA episode, but you can also hear or read: what should I do to supplement my degree to be successful in marketing field    

  Click above to listen in iTunes... Yup, I just changed up the whole funnel. Here’s what happened What's going on, everyone? This is Steve Larsen and you're listening to Sales Funnel Radio. I've spent the last four years learning from the most brilliant marketers today. And now, I've left my 9-5 to take the plunge and build my million dollar business. The real question is, "How will I do it without VC funding or debt? Completely from scratch?" This podcast is here to give you the answer. Join me and follow along as I learn, apply, and share marketing strategies to grow my online business using only today's best internet sales funnels. My name is Steve Larsen and welcome to Sales Funnel Radio. What's up guys? I hope you like my new intro. Just had several of you guys reach out actually and say that you like it. And so, it means a lot. I take a long time to write those kinds of scripts when I know that I'm gonna hear them a billion times probably. But, I wanted to create more of a journey. More of a ... Anyway, I've talked about that a little bit in the past. I wanted to share with you a little bit more about my webinar and what I've been doing to it. I did a lot of stuff this week. It's been a crazy week. There were two days this week where I almost stayed up a full 24 hours just getting stuff done and working on it and the different aspects that I needed to crank out. It was ridiculous. And, I do not recommend that. In fact, I always think it's kind of weird when people are like, "Yeah, hashtag the hustle." You know? And, they stay up 24 hours all the time. But, it just wrecks your next day anyway. So, that never makes sense to me. Be smart with your health. Don't do that too often. Hey, what I want to share with you though is more about the webinar and the actual stats. I automated it. I already automated it. I know that a lot of people will probably ask me, "Steven, you always say to do it for seven months." Well, here's the thing. Before I actually launched the webinar, I tested it like crazy. I knew the messages were gonna work. I knew the offer was gonna work. It was all already tested before I actually pushed the button. You know what I mean? And so, I didn't start from complete scratch when I started to do my live webinars. I did it maybe 12 times and I still, that final time, I was still using the original script. And so, here's the thing guys. You gotta understand this. This is how I look at the webinar. This is the three phases of launching any product. The three phases... And, I didn't realize that this is what I do or even that Russell, that this is what he does, but this is what it is. We first ... This is three spots. We first figure out a sales message. Understand that I said, "Sales Message". I did not say, "Offer". I did not say, "Funnel". Now, 99% of the time Russell already knows what the sales message is going to be. He's done it so well. He's done it for so long. But, he understands right from the get go without really even thinking about it. He kind of starts from this place of sales message. Meaning, if he can sell it then we'll go make the offer. And, he already starts from those places ... So, this is how I did my webinar. My webinar. Phase number one is all about creating the sales message. I don't give a crap about the actual product or the offer until I know that I can sell the thing. Right? Does that make sense? And, I know a lot of people say, "Well, duh, Steven." Well, most of us don't do that though. We actually turn around and we're like, "Hey, what am I gonna sell?" Wrong question. The question is, "How will I sell it?" And, the problem is that when you start with an offer, when you actually start with the offer, the problem is that you become tethered by the offer when you're creating the sales message. Does that make sense? You create restrictions. You're not free. You're not liquid... You're not fluid to create whatever sales message you want... So, what I have been doing for a solid probably year before I actually launched my webinar, what I did is I actually went and I started testing the sales message. I created an entire second podcast show about it. And, I just started dropping out the stories. And, the ones that really resonated, I kind of took note of that. And, I was like, "Huh. That's the one that did it over here. Huh. Oh, that's interesting. That's the story that did it over here. Interesting. Oh, wow. They really like this one and they hated that one." And, I started testing sales message. Also, my story. And, when we actually get the story down, when we get the sales message down, whatever it is that gets people's butts out of their chairs and their wallets, and credit card in your hand, then you create an offer that fulfills the promises that you made in the sales message. Does that make sense? When you actually find the sales message that gets somebody off their butt and gets their wallet in your hand then you create the offer that fulfills whatever that sales message promised... When you do it the other way and you create an offer, and then the sales message, and then the sales thing, you are tethered in your mind. And, you have this thing where, "Well, my product doesn't do this." Okay, well stop thinking about that. Figure out what it is that gets people into action. People are inherently lazy. What is the thing? And, if you found out, "Oh my gosh. This is the thing that gets people into action, sweet. Then you create. Does that make sense? So, step number one, sales message. Step number two is then the offer. And, both of them stem off of belief. Both of them stem off of belief. At the very, very bottom. Or, sorry. The very, very last one, that's when I start building a funnel. And, that's when I build the delivery mechanism that will serve up those two things. Funny enough though, people usually do the exact opposite. They build a funnel and be like, "Hey, I want an... funnel." And, they think of it in terms of funnels. That's not how it works. You think of it in terms of what are you trying to deliver? And, you go and you put together a funnel. If you do that first, then you build them out an offer, then you figure out how to actually sell the thing, super scary. Super scary. Right?... And, so you guys know I'm already automating it, but it's because of the three steps that I take. You do it the other way around and you say, "Hey, what's the sales message?" And, as part of that, you're figuring out where the traffic is. With step number one, what's the sales message? What gets people off the butt? It's like ... I know I bring up this example a lot, but it's because it's true. Before Tim Ferriss even finished writing a book he was out there testing headlines and titles for the book. And, he would test tons of headlines and he would spend a little money, like 20 bucks on tons of different ... Like, "Hey, 20 bucks for this headline. 20 bucks for this title. 20 bucks for this title." And, he would go test it. And, whatever one they liked, that's what he named it. And, there wasn't even a book written half the time. He was just seeing what people clicked on. And, that's exactly what I'm talking about. You figure out the sales message. What is it that gets people off the butt? They are so insatiably connected to what it is that you have promised. You've broken and rebuilt the belief patterns. You've helped them see the world in a brand new way and you are now served up to give them an offer. Aww. And, it's not there yet. That's okay because now you know it's safe. It's worth you time to go create that actual offer. Does that makes sense? Sales message number one. Offer number two. And then, you create the funnel. And then, as soon as I've done that, I go back to sales message. Then I go back to offer, tweak that. And then, I go back to funnel and I tweak that. Then I start all the way back over again, a sales message. So, the reason why guys is because I've been following my process. And, my process is first figure out the sales message, which I did. And, since the beginning of the year, we had like 50 grand and hot traffic sales. People were just super hungry for it. So, the first month, we did 100 grand. The second month we did like 25. And, it was mostly because I didn't focus on selling it that much. I was just building the offer that I knew was selling. My numbers were looking great. Everything was looking fantastic. And then, the first two weeks here, I actually haven't really been selling it that much and the reason is because I had it down for like two weeks 'cause I was going and automating everything. First, I was talking about the sales message. Then I built the offer. Now, I've been tweaking the funnel. And, it's almost been like month, by month, by month. Like, since Funnel Hacking Live is ... I'm been getting on my plane here in an hour? I gotta get out of here. I was like, I just gotta podcast one time though. I'm excited to talk to you guys. I woke up at 2:30 hardly being able to sleep. I'm so excited. I'm that much of a nerd, yes. And, I will admit it. But, anyway. It will probably be really April before we actually start to get real traffic turned on towards it. But, what I'm excited about is this guys. I'm so pumped. I went and I actually turned on a little bit of traffic and my numbers are holding true... Meaning, I was nervous that automating the webinar would drop some numbers. 'Cause people can sense that it's not live. The products are freaking awesome. That's never usually the issue. It's usually not that, "Hey, can we make something that's sexy?" It usually does not have anything to do with the actual offer. It's a formula. The way you get to the offer is a formula. And, you follow that formula, you get to the offer, great. You might tweak it a little bit here and there, but the real thing that you are trying to figure out and the real place that people will struggle and suck it up on is the actual message part. It's the belief part. It's the part that ... And, how to not number one just create it, but how to glean it from the sub-market they're trying to sell to. And so, when I figured out, "Oh, my gosh. I've nailed the beliefs. I know I've nailed the beliefs." That's one of the reasons I've sold so well. And, I was selling that puppy before it was actually even ready. And, they knew that. There was no slight of hand thing going on there. They knew that. They were getting beta access to certain other bonuses that I had in there. And then, when I created the actual offer, now the offer is actually done, then I went and I ... Now, I'm focusing on the funnel. Okay, what's the funnel that gives me back a little bit more of my time? I'm telling you, running three webinars a week, holy smokes. That is so much work as a solo one man guy. You know? One man show going on right now. Oh, my gosh. I tried that three webinar a week thing I was talking about for just a little bit and I was like, "There's no way. There's no way." I could do it if everything else in my business was set up, but it's not and I'm the only guy running it. I'm excited just to barely have my first employee to come on over. He's swinging on over and he's handling support. And, he's kind of my assistant. He's also handling a lot of front line relationships. And, he's wearing a lot of hats, which he's pumped about and I'm pumped about. But, he's not gonna be over for another month. I was like, "I gotta automate this thing." So, anyways. The reason I automated it was because my registration rates were about 52%, which is really, really awesome. And, even went to up to probably 62% for a while. 62% opt-in rate on a webinar page. And, I think on how I did it. It was really, really cool. I had many engagement things all over. My show up rates were 7-13%. Really low. Right? Really low. And, I've talked about in previous episodes how I believe it's because the time in front of my webinar was way too long. Meaning, I did a webinar ... Especially, for who I was selling to, I can barely remember three days out what ... I don't remember what I did three days ago. And, if I'm asking someone to register for a webinar three days ago and it's not till tomorrow, I'm gonna forget. You know what I mean? It needs to be sooner than that. So, I'm shrinking the time from when they register to the time the webinar actually happens. Right? I did that for a while and it really helped. And, I was like, "Whoa." And then, on that backend, my cart close sequence it was usually three days. I was like, that seems way too long. So, I went down to 24 hours. And, there was a big spike in sales. I didn't change anything else. I was like, "What the heck?" Just because there was a little bit more pressure. But, it was almost a little bit too fast. Some people didn't really have a chance to go watch the replay that they wanted to, so then I'm out to a 36 hour replay sequence now... That part I could keep. But, what I decided to do ... So, I was getting anywhere from 15-25% close rate, which is freaking huge, guys. That's awesome. Freaking huge. 15-25% close rate is a multi-million dollar webinar, which I know it will be. And, it's already shown signs that it's going to be, which is awesome. So, the one number that I needed to chance, which I know I've gone through before is that show up rate. Well, when we automate webinars, the average show up rate is like 85%. It's like 90% because it's happening in the next few minutes. That's how they work. That's why they work. You know? Next webinar happening in the next 15 minutes. What? So, I made a top of the every 15 minute webinar. So, every 15 minutes, that webinar starts over again and it's really, really awesome. So, I'm super pumped guys 'cause yesterday I really had the first time to really turn it on. Got traffic sent to it... And, my registration rate, I'm so pumped, was 46%. So, it only dropped like 10%. But, the show up rate was like, it was almost 100%. It was freaking huge. And, I was like, "Oh, my gosh." And, I was so stoked. And then, we made sales at a close rate of 14.62%. Guys, that's huge. That means I can now drive tons of traffic. It means the rest of the numbers are working. It means that I can celebrate as if I've made a million bucks already 'cause it means it will. You know? Unless I really, really jack it up and I've got some awesome silver bolts up my sleeve that I actually can't tell you about. Some cool things for traffic that I'm very, very pumped about. Getting hooked up in several ways. Working that Dream 100, which I am, which we are, which we do. I will never stop doing that system. And, that's what's been going on. So, anyway, I just wanted to give you guys a little bit of accounting before I see a lot of you guys. There's so many things in my mind I want to share with you guys that have happened this last little bit. Things that I'm learning. More clarity, the things that I've been understanding. And, teach you how I've been ... Why did I feel comfortable leaving a job when I really had no business set up? You know what I mean? Like, that was ridiculous. That sounds so crazy. I don't ... That's mere madness almost, honestly. To go out and do that. But, it's because of these certain things that I knew, and I learned, and I saw the patterns that saved my emotional sanity and said, "Yes, you can go ahead and leave your job and it's gonna be fine because of these signals and signs." Number one, it was testing the sales message because people were knocking my door down. I mean, I think I have probably close to ... It's several hundred Facebook message requests asking about my MLM product. And, I barely have gotten to a spot where I can even respond to them and say, "Hey, let's get over here and you can check it out here." When I saw that. When I saw the ... Frankly, the other podcast audience is far more interactive with me than this one is. When I saw that ... When I saw ... When I even just talked about ... There were certain buzz phrases I learned that they liked. And, when I would say it, they would go nuts, and they'd look for a product that was the one I was saying and there wasn't one out there. And, I was like, "Sweet. I can totally do that." Does that makes sense? So, all these little signals and signs. And, I had a beta group that I brought through. I didn't even have the actual product. I was just teaching them the concepts. And, they were going nuts. I had a beta product overall. Not just group. Like, that I launched about a year prior to. And, I saw the ridiculous response from it. It was insane. And, I took that off once I saw all the issues with it, which is great. So then, I knew more of actually what to ... You know what I mean? There was a lot of stuff that I did. A lot of ground work. It was not just like I pulled the ... I jumped out the airplane and build the parachute while I was falling, but I still had all the materials laid out before I jumped. You know? Does that make sense? The groundwork was still there. And, funny enough, the ground never really comes when you jump out of the plane. Usually not. When you jump out of the plane without a parachute in that metaphor. Please don't do that in real life. Anyways guys. I'm really, really excited. I woke up at 2:30 this morning, like I said, just super excited. I had a hard time going back to sleep. I got a mastermind that we're running tomorrow with a bunch of you. Very excited. I still gotta figure out more of what I'm gonna teach there. But, at those, I feel like highest level stuff is too ... I'll teach my cool stuff, but I love doing one on one Q&A and taking people's businesses a little bit further. If I could do that the rest of my career I would do that, I think, mixed with one or two other product styles that I know I want to go after. So, anyways guys. Gosh. I'm so excited. When you get to Funnel Hacking Live, take notes. I could not believe the first time I went. I bootstrapped my whole way there. I gave more to get there than the majority of the people who were there. And, I sacrificed my face off. I took 52 pages of notes. Very detailed notes. I still have them. They're right next to me. And, that last night when I didn't have a place to stay, I stayed up. After I applied to Click Funnels, I stayed up and I started going piece by piece through the entire, all the notes that I took, because I wanted to solidify them in my brain. I should go through those. There's some good stuff in there. Take notes. I was appalled how many people left their notebooks that they gave them on the chairs. I was like, "What? Do you know what I just learned? Did you just sleep through all of that? That was ridiculous. I just finished my marketing degree." That's where I was at the time. I'm finishing my marketing degree and that was better than all of it. The first day. The first session. I was like, "What? Take notes." Anyway. Something that happens when you write it. Guys, I'm very, very excited. Please come with an open mind. And, if you're hearing this after the fact, that's totally fine. Anything you learn from any guru that you've realized that you need to study from, take notes from them. One of the things I've learned recently as well is that it's good to read deeply on a broad spectrum. Or, I should say, it's good to read it on a broad spectrum from lots of different ... And, learn from lots of different gurus, lots of different people that are out there... However, I found that just really deep diving with only one or two people and you study what they done deeply, very successful individuals. Obviously, the one that I'm going after is Russell. Obviously. I go through, I study him very deeply. And, all of the study, all of the strategies, all of the pitch strategies, all the things that ... And, figure out who that is for you. Study that person and their work very deeply. And, stick with them. Don't just go so broad. Broad is good, but choose a few characters particularly and go deep with them. And, when you do that you, you learn a lot more of the patterns inside that's ... I mean, it's just like I share on this podcast. The only reason I can do that is because I've studied the heck out of the scripts. I know his scripts. So, when I see him change it up, I'm like wait, what did he do? And then, I see the connection and I see the pieces. And, I'm like, "Oh. Did anyone else see it?" And, lots of times, no. Because we're all studying this guy and this guy, and this guy ... Okay, that's great, but especially at first. Like, to really super advance your progression in this game, just go deep with one or two people. You know what I mean? And, really get to know them. Really get to know their mind. Not just their works. And, their materials that they've put out. Anyway. Great stuff guys. Super excited. I'm writing a book. That's awesome. We made the outline already and it's freaking incredible. If I say so myself. We just barely launched the affiliate program, which by the way, if you are interested at all, would love to have you. We're gonna have a lot of sweet affiliate contests here in about two weeks. It's so cool. Basically, I figured out the math to basically buy anyone a new iMac. And, a new iPhone. And, a new ... Basically all the Apple products 'cause I like Steve Jobs. Rest his soul. And, anyway, there's a lot of stuff that's been going on guys that I've just had a ton of fun with it. And, anyway, excited to see you guys. Remember the secret phrase. I filmed the special stuff yesterday for those of you guys who remember the secret phrase and walk up to me. Anyways, you guys. Thanks so much. That's kind of been a counting of the last two months of my webinar and me automating it and why. And, I will certainly continue to do live webinars for sure, but as I finish this funnel side ... Now, I'm now gonna go back step number one and it's time for me to tweak my slides. And, I know what to change. And, I've got some cool other things that I'm doingthat I can tell you about a little later. Anyways, guys, thank you so much. And, go crush it. Bye. Whoa, thanks for listening. Please remember to write and subscribe. Hey, you want me to speak at your next event or mastermind? Let me know what I can share that would be most valuable by going to SteveJLarsen.com and book my time now.

What? | So what? | Now what? Episode I - Goal Setting In which co-hosts Tim Ngwena & Ravi Mistry talk about the pro's and con's of setting goals at the start of a calendar year, and why we set goals in the first place. Feedback welcome on Twitter to Ravi at @scribblr_42 or TIm at @tableautim - or e-mail us, at datumpodcast@gmail.com.

Yeshua said to his disciples, “But he who shall have endured to the end shall be saved.” What? So, saying the “sinner’s prayer” or taking the “Romans Road”, isn’t that how “salvation” is achieved? What does Yeshua mean by “endured to the end”? What end? Endure what? Rabbi Steve Berkson clarifies what it means to have endurance in regards to your faith. Related Teachings can be found here, http://mtoi.org/learn_with_us/learn_with_us.shtml Are You Saved? Cling, Cleave, Hold Fast Learn and Teach the Torah Don't miss out on new teachings every week. You are welcome to post your comments and please click on the "LIKE" button if this teaching has been a blessing to you. For more information about MTOI (Messianic Torah Observant Israel), visit our website at http://www.mtoi.org and our Official Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/mtoiworldwide.

This rant is a little late but it still applies. Everyone is still worked up over NFL players kneeling and disrupting our country, flag and military. Somehow, the same people are enraged that monuments to confederate leaders and generals are being removed. What? So on hand we are angry players are disrespecting the military and country but yet we want to honor men who actually fought against this country and led armies that killed loyal Americans. We want to honor actual traitors? Here is episode 51 discussing confederate monuments.Also, before you tell me Lee was not a traitor - go look up the definition, his picture should be next to the word.

John Driscoll is an internationally recognised expert in clinical reflection who is also the developer of a very popular 3 step framework for reflection What? So what? What now?. This interview was recorded as part of the development of a short course on clinical reflection that will be made available on Physiopedia Plus in 2017. In this conversation John talks about his extensive work on reflective practices and Continuing Professional Development for a range of health professionals both as a UK academic and as a freelance consultant. He has worked on the implementation of large-scale reflective Clinical Supervision schemes for practitioners in health organizations in the UK, Australia and more recently Canada. More about John: http://www.supervisionandcoaching.com/

One of our new taglines is: Come laugh, come be informed, come be offended. And boy did we hit all three on this week's Solid Cat. Playing Chutes and Ladders for cash is downright cutthroat. We have been downloaded in 48 of 50 U.S. States (I'm looking at you Alaska and Vermont). We're fun together. Necrophilia and Narcolepsy are two different things; Val has one of them. Razors: whatever D-mo saved in cash, he paid for in blood. Learn how to tie a tie would ya! Pico Rivera is chock full of archers. "Maybe he's the Malcolm Merlyn to my Ollie Queen?" Things that creep the hell out of Val are raisins in baked goods, and spaces between walls. RIP Zoboomafoo. D-mo is also a fashion designer. A pair of apple pie inspired recipes in the Kitchen. Cinnebon Vodka! Teutonic and tectonic are two different things, and a geology joke leads to German efficiency which leads to how Hitler may have been responsible for Israel. What? So after that, let's end with a Dick Tracy movie reference. I await your angry tweets and e-mail. This is Solid Cat.

New Podcast! Enjoy the new intro music! It's 100% longer and better than before! Michelle's thoughts on Beauty and the Beast – Basic Instinct: Another great episode! They've fully recovered from episode 2. There's a lot to look forward to with the series becoming less procedural and more story focused. The growth of Cat and Vincent is getting really interesting as they help each other to heal. Muirfield continues to heat up and there is still lots of story to tell there. Anyone scared away by episode 2 is really missing out. This episode Tess is getting really suspicious about how Cat is getting her mysterious leads. At first she thinks it must be Evan and Cat in a secret relationship but by the end of the episode she realizes that's not it. Tess will have to find out more soon or later and it will be interesting to see how that plays out. At least she'll react a lot better than JT has so far. JT is like the ultimate jealous wife. After living with someone for so long it's normal to become close and JT has the added influence of being Vincent's protector. We've seen his constant efforts to keep Cat away and blame her for anything going wrong. This episode they finally have to work together to rescue Vincent. The development of this relationship should prove to be really interesting too. I do think I'm right about Evan not being used as the third point of the love triangle, that spot is taken by JT. This episode was a home run and sets the stage nicely for a lot of great character development. I can't wait for Cat's Dad to appear and find out how he is involved with her Mom and Muirfield. Also finding out how Silver Fox survived and see him get more involved with Cat and Vincent. This season is turning out really solid. ¨ John's thoughts on Beauty and the Beast – Basic Instinct: Beauty and the Beast episode 4 Basic Instinct asks Cat "How brave is your love?" She flinches and then doles out two to Muirfield for making her flinch. Well it's more like four, four dead agents. Go team Beauty, Beast and the Geek! This episode had it all. It had great parallelism between the case of the week and the developing relationships between characters (we talk about this alot in the podcast). Fantastic fight scenes: where Cat kicks some serious ass and dishes out one hell of a throat punch, JT kills a dude witha  bat and helps the Vin Man dispose of the bodies and Vincent in full on Beast mode causing explosions and choking out some fool! You've heard the expression "Give them enough rope to hang themselves." Well Vincent's motto is, "Give me enough chain and I'll choke you to death with it." They also tease us with a photo of Cat's mom at the Muirfield headquarters! What? So it is true she was working for Muirfield! Now I want to meet Cat's Father even more and find out what he knows. Take away all that awesomeness and Basic Instinct was simply about going with your gut and having faith in good people. Early on in the episode Tess tells Cat she's "over thinking it" when it comes to playing baseball, but it was also good advice for what would come. Muirfield drops some sobering facts about Vincent on Cat; he allegedly killed 500 people in an unsanctioned strike on an Afghan village. Though she's quick to counter with the old argument of you made him do that. It is still a massive body count to think of, even IF he was with 10-20 other Beasties, that's 25 to 50 civilians brutally killed by each Beast. Then she is shown the ONE American dude Vincent killed and she loses all faith and trust in Vincent. (I take this as commentary on America's apathetic attitude toward civilian casualties of the War in Afghanistan. I give the writers two thumbs up and congratulate them on taking Beauty and the Beast deeper than I expected.) Back to talking about faith, because that's what this episode is about. Vincent's faith in Cat bringing him back to humanity. Cat's faith in Vincent bringing closure to her moms murder and allowing her to finally rest and live like a regular human being. When they have their faith tested it makes Cat question what she knows about Vincent versus how she feels about him. She's forced to reconcile those feelings against the new evidence and it rattles her, justifiably so. Cat says she is "used to the world being black and white", her obsessively driven savior complex does see the world in black and white, or rather guilty and innocent. We've seen this in previous episodes when she tries to deal with Muirfield as if it's a typical case. Now her world is being flipped and she can't be on the wrong side, it was that side that killed her mother, and stole her life, that's where the fear and over thinking hits her the hardest. That's why she's so shaken when Vincent shows up at her apartment, she must be imagining all the people (Afghanis), or person (US dude), that was left devastated from his crime(s). This causes a chain reaction and the next time she's with Vincent he notices something's up. She tries to push him away, a little role reversal, and Vincent realizes she is scared of him not Muirfield. It's a painful moment for Vincent and he decides that he can no longer risk hurting the people he cares about and will turn himself in. Which is interesting cause he could have run on his own. By turning himself in he's admitting that those around him are "collateral damage" and that he has reached a place in regaining his humanity that he doesn't want to go back to being alone. It would be better to be locked in a cage than on the run alone. JT's faith in... well JT's faith is complicated. He trusts Vincent in an unconditional; some might say suicidal, way. But being on the lam with the Vin man for the last less than a decade the two have become close, best friends to start and now even closer, it's one hell of a bromance. That's probably why JT flips out on Cat so much like a jealous girlfriend bro. But that's just how much he has committed to his friendship with Vincent, hence when he learns Vincent has chosen to give up/end the relationship JT flips out, because he still has faith, and mounts up with Cat to go get their man back. Again the episode brings the win as we get more awesome scenes of JT "the Bat Man" Forbes! If they make a JT action figure, he better come with a baseball bat, and a "No Cats" sign. Luckily Beauty, Beast and the Geek learn a lesson about having faith and trusting their gut the team reconciles in time to win the big game against Muirfield. YEAH! We're number one, we're number one... on Muirfield's most wanted list. Oh, I don't know if we should cheer about that. This episode also expanded the character of Joe Bishop. Mister Moody turned that frown upside down and became a ball busting Baseball coach that helped lead the NYPD team to victory over the NY Fire Dept. "NYPD putting out fires." Best Joe Bishop line ever, someone needs to make a Joe bishop soundboard. He had some great insight that reflected what we talk about in the podcast about what the baseball game symbolizes for Cat, "This game is about the whole precinct, about pride. It's about you too Chandler." It's interesting that he says it's about the WHOLE precinct and then specifically says it's about Cat too. Joe recognizes Cat is an outsider. She buries herself so deep in her work she never comes up to meet with her fellow workers, outside of the ones she must talk to on a regular basis.  It builds on to Cat's character as a loner obsessed with her job, and nothing else. It also adds some much-needed dimension to Joe Bishop. This was the first time I actually thought Joe cared for his people and saw them as more than a daily irritation he had to manage. I'm rooting for more Joe, as a halfrican-American I enjoy seeing my fellow brothers and sisters on TV. Hopefully you caught this excellent episode, Basic Instinct, if not go watch it now-now at the official CW Beauty and the Beast website. Remember to trust your gut, and your gut says tune in every Thursday night at 9pm. Then check out our podcast and weekly review for a Beauty and the Beast doubleheader. Ending baseball puns, I'm out.