Solid Cat

The world needs a distraction, and Solid Cat is here to provide it. Who are the Hairy Bikers? In Ni Hao, Kai-lan speaking Mandarin or Cantonese? (it's Mandarin) There is a world record wolf howl. Money is literally coming out of someone's wassou. Killer sex robots! McDonald's introduces the McVegan. What are slime eels? And it's food, food, and more food. We had our first Shake Shack experience. We cruise by the International Spy Museum. We enjoy some dining in Old Town Alexandra. The ending of Descendants 2 was tragically anti-climatic. Did Rogue One rip off Spaceballs? I thought we were talking about food? In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we review Oreo Tempura, and it breaks our rating scale. We finish with a Paws Up to Gordon Ramsey for something truly awesome. Come saddle up to the comedy buffet that is... Solid Cat!

Summer vacation is over and Solid Cat is back to tell you what we did on ours. Stand back, this is actually the first half of a two part episode. First, D-mo is now and old man. In the News, we discuss a real life version of the Pina Colada song. For those that were wondering, yes, D-mo passed the stone. Wait... coyotes? Vermont is very beautiful and very green. The Musuem of the Creative Process creeped us out to no end, and we didn't even go in it. On our culinary tour of the eastern United States, we enjoyed cheesecake from the Nuns of New Skete, delicious cuisine at the City Tavern in Philly, and an absolutely delightful Italian place called Joe Benny's in Baltimore (go there; trust us). There were some questionable "Jersey-style" Whoppers at a Burger King. But we finally settle the debate on Philly's best cheesesteak... Pat's or Geno's (or do we?). There was also, what Val called, the "Taj Mahal of bathrooms." And we wrap with a wonderful Paws Up highlighting the spirit of second chances. We packed some much, we had to split up our tale, so enjoy Part 1, today, of Solid Cat.

This week's episode of Solid Cat is powered by you, the fans. The proud citizens of Solid Cat City. What's on tap? One last covfefe jab. Macaroon, macaron, and Macron are three different things. Cheese rolling and shin kicking in England. Luring bathers to Japanese bathhouses, and "chizza" in China? Some guy found a vibrating fidget spinner (it's not a fidget spinner). Sexytime discusses 3-ways with the Spice Girls. Kangaroos have multiple vaginas and bifurcated dicks. TMI. D-mo tries to save the derailing show by talking about naked otters and they are not what you think. The Danger Diva returns to the show to deliver the Solid Cat General Apology. We have an honest-to-goodness recipe back in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. There's that empanada place at the Original L.A. Farmers' Market. Wenger In or Wenger Out? Paws Up to Wonder Woman. Camouflage works... especially in Chick-fil-A. And we finish strong with the International Banana Musuem. Pull up a chair, and grab a beverage, for this is Solid Cat!

From the NEEEW Solid Cat Studios, it's the Slumber Party of Podcasts! D-mo is being creative again, so stand back. Strep throat blows. The phrase we were looking for is "last resort." FINALLY, let's talk about My Little Pony. Apparently, people really love Adele and Disney soundtracks. What's the deal with Bob the Builder. Grabher, Lorne Grabher, is full of Canadian rage. Who's cropdusting? Overbooking is common and rampant, stop acting surprised. The joys and rules of vacation rentals. Val doesn't seem so like New York City. Paws Up to Estonia and teddy bears. And we might start our own fake university and fake internship program so people can get "real" work experience so they can get jobs. We're shady... we're Solid Cat!

We're joined by a new special guest, Monica, on this week's episode of Solid Cat. Are 976 numbers still around? Webcam girls are kinda ridiculous. We briefly talk about the new Beauty and the Beast movie, and we're disappointed with the lack of promised gay sex. "Are you telling me that Emma Thompson, in general, isn't as good as Angela Lansbury?!" Once again, no news segment, but some people are looking like Disney characters. D-mo tells the Ballad of Cletus and Scooter. Val tells the story of the Haunted Woods of Friendship Hill. Then things really get creepy AF with both Val and Monica's experiences with the supernatural. No one ever suspects the guy with the dog in a sweater. Paws up to the world's fastest camera. Then we talk about hamburgers because that's where the show went. "Of all the body parts you can throw at people, I think ears are the weirdest." Not surprisingly, there was lots of laughter on this week's Solid Cat.

We're doing something different on this week's Solid Cat. The majority of the show will be taken by two things: La La Land, and Batman v. Superman - Dawn of Justice. We liked one, and we didn't like the other, but it's probably not what you think (spoilers: La La Land is overrated, and Batman v. Superman was actually enjoyable). We do highlight the Oscars snafu and we feel sorry for the guy that's getting fired. D-mo also feels bad for Viggo Mortensen. Captain America - Civil War was better than both movies we talk about, but we don't think either Cap or Iron Man's mom is named Martha. Paws up to Tinder for having a match in Antarctica. Some episodes are classics. This one... maybe not. Be hip, though, and buy a Solid Cat shirt.

Solid Cat is here to kick off the Lunar New Year with a fresh show of all that you love. First, thank you to all the fans who have download the show; you have set some records lately and we thank you for it. We still have seen Superman vs. Batman; will it be like Twilight? We coin a new word: craptivating, it's crap and captivating at the same time. Val keeps forgetting she doesn't speak Japanese. We have some InuYasha spoilers (we named this episode after a 30 second bit of dialogue). We vacationed in Pennsylvania in a little place that's called Ohiopyle and it's glorious. Will Val's mom start listening to the show? Praise be to JetBlue. Liquor laws are weird in other places. Not to bury the lead, but D-mo has been ordained! Hello, Pastor D-mo. We answer a slew of listener questions From the Dojo. In the Sexytime segment, we discuss the positives of open sexual communication with your partner. Remember, some people pay extra for that, so charge accordingly. Hansen's Natural Soda gets reviewed in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. D-mo went to the NHL All-Star game and has some choice words for the Columbus Blue Jackets mascot. Val's Lunar New Year dinner was such a hot ticket, people were disappointed they didn't get an invite. Maybe we should have a contest where you enter to win a dinner with Val. Paws Up for soap in Cambodia. Sometimes we're dirty, sometimes we're clean, but we're always Solid!

It's a brave new world as Solid Cat opens up Season 5! In addition to a new season, we're getting a new Lunar New Year; the year of the Fire Chicken to be specific. Also new: rain in Los Angeles, which means an increase in swift water rescues. Val is adventurous, but only when something comes recommended. In a series of classic Solid Cat segues, talk about Chinese food goes to Brazilian BBQ goes to Kansas City goes to the rumor that Maryland is filled with very unattractive people (if you live in Maryland, send pics and prove us wrong). We parent by reverse psychology. Killer flying bears are not as uncommon as you'd expect, apparently. A fresh Dolores Umbridge reference. We talk a little Trump-ish. What are bacon mushrooms? Of course, the white elephant in the room is that D-mo's father passed away during the break. But ending on a high note, we're like Burns and Allen, and more importantly, you always have friends here with D-mo and Val. In this new era, friendship and compassion are just want the doctor ordered. We're back... we're Solid Cat!

Solid Cat is open for business with so many things to make you feel good, it's like nirvana (not Nirvana). Val starts by tucking into way too much ice cream. There is a Random Bit of Knowledge regarding the club sandwich. "Le Cave" is just a fancy cave, which leads us to gay greeting cards. Medicines really have stupid names, and Val talks about her experience on Lyrica. A first, no News segment in today's show. D-mo loves himself some Lamborghini and Val thinks he ridiculous. Val gets turned on by Arches paper from France, and D-mo has a Moleskine problem (not really a problem, he's just a journal snob). On the Space Cowboy, a pair of reviews: chocolate and booze. Feel good instantly with Ten Things with Val. Feel even better with not one, not two, but THREE Paws Up stories. And then we end with Schrödinger's Cat for no real reason. If you don't feel go after listening to this show, you need to seek professional help. Stay Solid!

With a heaping helping of corned beef, Solid Cat is back! Val's friends kinda suck. Why aren't there legit cookie pies? Are "comfort" animals really service animals? Miniature horse racing in international waters. Monkey Knife Fight! 15 sex shop facts you wanted to know, but were too afraid to ask. How bad was Magic Mike XXL? Hotness leads to our discussion of Joshua Tree National Park. Come see man-buns in the wild. When the stars come out in the desert, they ALL come out. High drama in Hidden Valley (but no ranch). Pit toilets are very liberating for Val. Paws Up to the National Park Service Centennial. And the Passport to your National Parks have taken us places we would have never have planned to visit. Go find your park, bring your pan-flute, and crank up Solid Cat!

Happy Valentine's Day from Solid Cat. You should enjoy Solid Cat after sex; it's good basking in the afterglow. Puppy Monkey Baby is an abomination. Carrot Talk leads to Carrot Top leads to Sheamus leads to soap in a sock. We have a crate full of fun news today: a Spanish "worker"; lost in Iceland; a weed fail; a lost monkey; a found tortoise; explosive kangaroos (or bangaroos); a chocolate deficit; and an emergency defecation situation. We finally saw Star Wars and oh those Skywalker boys. Sexytime returns with what do to after sex, a new product called the Slaphappy, and we end up talking about being smacked in the face with a hot dog for "training purposes" (trust us, it totally makes sense). On Paws Up, we salute a beer fountain. Lastly, Barbie comes in all shapes and all sizes. So towel off, cuddle up, and dial up Solid Cat!

Solid Cat is all over and back again. We dine at the Proud Bird near LAX. Who is Bobby Rasmussen? Why is D-mo quoting Fred Astaire? When did Val turn into an old man? We finally say Schofferhofer correctly, or do we? "Oh those Germans," leads to "Oh those Japanese." What is Tentacle Kitty? Is free parking disappearing in Las Vegas? Rent a room and run a bookshop all at once. Our new segment Amazon Prime Time is back. Ten, err, Twelve Things with Val about IKEA. In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we have pancakes at Du-Par's. We compare Batmen. Zoe doesn't think D-mo is sexy. And the end credits turn into an afterparty as we talk about sex robots and coyotes on shrooms. You didn't misread that. So many questions, and the answer is Solid Cat!

Solid Cat is back! Where have we been? Maybe China, because we're suddenly popular there. If you're new to the show, we highlight some past episodes you might want to check out. What is a "douche flute?" On behalf of the whole world, FUCK YOU CANCER! Buckle up your bears in Russia. We introduce a new segment called Amazon Prime Time and we showcase The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories. Not only did Solid Cat return, but so did Sherlock. It was Valtoberfest a few months ago, and that leads to a classy Solid Cat segue into the Space Cowboy Kitchen where we Booze Review Schofferhofer Grapefruit Hefeweizen. Gasp, we haven't see Star Wars yet. We talk about the Chronicles of Narnia for no real reason (because that's so topical). Paws Up to a dad doing his daughter's hair, and D-mo gets on his soapbox and potentially calls you a bad parent. Long live Solid Cat!

Hunker down with Solid Cat as the Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse is upon us! Where there is no angst, there is no art. Don't be the stereotype even applies to white girls. Self-censoring on social media. Bob Ross says he's a painter; no, he's a freaking magician! Crazy ass bride billed a no-show guest. Potlatches are very weird social events amongst the Kwakwala-speaking people of the Pacific Northwest Coast. There was a citrus heist with a street value of half a mil. There is a dating app for bacon lovers. A little bit of useless information regarding Australia; what the hell are Banana Benders? The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. And a Paws Up for a supreme act of humanity. Seriously Bob Ross, where did that mountain come from?

This episode of Solid Cat is NOT jam-packed, but still lasts 90 minutes. What's up on the Solid Cat Community Calendar? Viking festivals have a lot of double entendres. Who's learning a new language? England is low on sperm donors. "I'm all about online shopping, but I'm not buying jizz online." Groot helps a kid communicate. Superhenge! Solid Cat Beard Update. How can you go full hipster? D-mo is a nickname guru. Fast Food Chat with D-mo & Val. When possums attack! D-mo talks about his harmonica... again. Is Val a supportive spouse? Paws Up for Man Cans. There is charity at Dollar Tree. And most importantly, don't judge; everyone is pretty cool. Especially we here at Solid Cat!

It's hot on this week's Solid Cat. Let's explain how the "Explicit" tag on iTunes works. The horses are the highlight of Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament, but it's a overall jolly good time. Rivers are disappearing! Target is trying to serve you booze while you shop. Is "studying cactus" a euphemism for schtupping hookers? D-mo's Beard Update. There is a viking encampment nearby. We take a sudden trip to world of the Highlander; there can only be one... but five movies. The prissiest meal Val has ever had. We play Superfight on Solid Cat Game Night. A 4-year old invades a rugby pitch and it's magical. Then things get ridiculously political. Solid Cat awaits your angry e-mails.

Solid Cat is loaded with drunks and lies today. D-mo & Val are finishing each other's words and it's gross. Thar she doesn't blow! It's Beard Chat time! Proven fact: people don't like D-mo with just a mustache; it's full beard or nothing. The Space Cowboy Kitchen starts early as we toss back a buttered scotch, a buttered rum, and a hot toddy. In the news, a carpenter-turned-shaman makes D-mo wonder if someone has a Jesus Complex, and why is a man in a bear costume harassing real bears? It's General Apology time! Ten Things with Val teaches you how to spot a liar. "If there is one thing this show does, it promotes literacy." Viva Spock Vegas as we celebrate taking a chance on a whim. D23 Expo just happened and we wonder why other media company don't do their own branded conventions. D-mo explains "social capital" and Val begs for #nohashtag. If you like listening in a random conversation between two smart people, we present Solid Cat!

Solid Cat is highly opinionated today. Monologues and dialogues are two different things. A funny biathlon joke turns into a weird Olympics diatribe (really, Los Angeles should always just host it). No refunds on Ugandan brides. A town emerges from the watery depths of Lake Mead. Don't pray for rain; pray for snow. Skinny jeans hospitalize a woman, which derails the show into a denim rant. Clothes shopping for larger consumers is usually heartbreaking. Val devises a new women's jeans sizing system (copyright Solid Cat. Patent Pending). Lay's Taste of America chips are ranked in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. If you want to jump on the Solid Cat bandwagon, listeners have suggested starting with the Power of Pancakes episode (#82). Did Val just insult D-mo? A stinging insult to boot. I mean, are we witnessing some marital strife? Yes, D-mo has his manias, but he may have to go play the blues on his harmonica after this verbose episode of Solid Cat!

Solid Cat is now on iHeartRadio! You smell that? Smells like legitimacy. It was Harry Potter's birthday and he's now 35. We have four words for you: Ethel. Merman. Disco. Album. Coyotes are chasing people up trees, maybe. Val once got D-mo an axe for their anniversary. Armadillos are dangerous critters. Behold the 360-degree beer can. We Booze Review some flavored vodka in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. Sexytime with D-mo & Val returns we three new bits. We have a double Paws Up. And we talk about beef on weck and other western New York culinary treats. Was a jam-packed Solid Cat? Of course it was.

Solid Cat returns, but with a heavy hear as it's our first show since the passing of the Space Cowboy's dad. "Sorry for your loss" sounds kinda awkward. The Nissan Altima was rented and is highly recommended. Hooray for the big guy who is biking across the country to lose weight. If you're wondering, that's the neighbor's dog at the 20 minute mark. Criss Angel: hero? There are now male life-like sex dolls; "gym dick" is optional. A fresh Ten Things, plus another Six Things. Let's talk about Old Fort Niagara. Chuckwagon racing; where have you been all my life? Want to farm in a National Park, the government has a deal for you. For Paws Up, we salute one of the good guys. Blazing Saddles features heavily at the end of the show, someone will probably be offended, and D-mo makes Voldemort a verb (and it totally works). Up and down and everywhere in between, Solid Cat is back, baby!

Solid Cat is back, and right off the bat, let's talk about gay marriage. If you a confused Christian, just know this: it's ok for gays to marry, and religion is not dead, though some are acting like it is. Just listen to us to get some clarity. Let's also talk about the Confederate States of America, where we ask, "Why fly the flag of a losing country that only lasted four years?" From social commentary, we switch to bat guano, women on money, and we feature the first ever Solid Cat Community Calendar. At parties, D-mo and Val are awesomely catty. One guy has saved the lives of two million babies, and rightfully gets this week's Paws Up. And lastly, we learn that D-mo's brain is like the Library of Congress, the world's largest library... after someone has taken a wrecking ball to it. That's the life-force behind Solid Cat!

You wanted Solid Cat, so we're giving you one on the commute home. The word you're looking for is "certified," not "circumcised." It's not illegal to sell golden tickets to heaven, unless you say they're solid gold and they're just painted pieces of wood, that Jesus gave you behind a KFC; and don't forget your baby alligator. FIFA is rife with corruption and their app is lacking in Women's World Cup coverage. As we're driving, see if you can hear where the road improves. D-mo is back in Assassin's Creed mode. The Solid Cat couch is awesome and therapeutic. Since we got home faster than planned, we're now recording from the driveway. We dropped a Kentucky Fried Movie reference (you didn't misread that). Godzilla is now a citizen of Japan. And the Danger Diva hijacks the credits and wails like a banshee. Why not... it's Solid Cat.

This week's Solid Cat is high on culture as D-mo and Val explored the exhibit of the work of J.M.W. Turner (allegedly Britain's most famous painter) that just concluded at the Getty Center. In the art talk, we critique and praise Turner's work, while also learning that Val digs Degas, and D-mo is all about Rubens. You can't talk about art without talking about Ninja Turtles. We look at passion vs. talent, and wrap that bit up with the nightclub at the museum. Elsewhere in this episode, Discovery Channel proves they can troll like a boss, D-mo's chair is extra noisy tonight, and what the hell happened to Neville F'ing Longbottom. England seems to have a hard time keeping track of their dead kings. Ireland earns our Paws Up! Val hates food bloggers, but LOVES a shirtless Thor, and dropped a mysterious Welsh accent. And we end with the question as old as time... who doesn't love fucking donuts? Wait, that's not what I mean.

To start Solid Cat, Val has a giant platypus on her head. Which invariably leads to a discussion about hats at the Kentucky Derby. We have a couple of corrections to make for last week's show. D-mo is in the Another Damn Trivia Show tournament final. Val has an unnatural obsession with Mary, Queen of Scots, which invariably leads to D-mo spending a full 9 minutes talking about politics in the United Kingdom, the United States, and Canada, which invariably leads to Ten Things about VE Day. OtterBoxes are not otterproof. Buy what's left of the Las Vegas Riveria. How to eat cupcakes nowadays. Fun facts about boobs, with a Norma Stitz reference. Big Bird made us cry, a high school boy is promoting feminine hygiene, and D-mo & Val finally saw Iron Man 3... two years later. Sometimes we're timely, sometimes we're not. Standard Solid Cat.

It may the best episode of Solid Cat, and we're all over the map. First, D-mo is baffled by Hinduism. Religion takes us to outlet malls. It was Kentucky Derby day, and despite eugenics (or animal husbandry), horses haven't gotten any faster. The Mayweather vs. Pacquiao was a bit of a snoozer, but the Burger King was there (?). When there is rain in L.A., people panic. We love the Columbia Sportswear Company. We have a sudden Paul Bunyan debate, which leads into the surprising aerodynamics of microfiber cloths. We revisit the tale of the clumsy whore. Val gets up close and personal with a duck, and it wasn't her choice. There are exotic dancers and Chinese funerals. A hologram of Stephen Hawking leads to an ungodly amount of time discussing boy bands. For instance, Rollermania was a legit thing. Mr. Goodbar is featured in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. Clash of the Titans has a ridiculousness too far. Ten Things with Val looks at how our ancestors were mighty perverts. D-mo and Val continue to take credit for Francis' selection as Pope. And D-mo mildly embarrasses a friend, because he can... and it's a fun story (he's a bastard like that). You might want to schedule a larger than usual block of time to enjoy this week's Solid Cat!

There are some episodes of Solid Cat, where we are cultured and refined. Other times, we're quite crass. No surprises what kind of episode this is. We go from banned underwear to the world's widest tongues to hand jobs while singing karaoke to teabagging to dick pics to ass beads. But first, D-mo gets handed a stranger's baby. You should watch out for the Hand of the Almighty. Speaking of God, we salute the Padres, a priest on the Titanic, and talk about how Edmonton may be hell... albeit a frozen hell. And for kicks, soccer in the Thunderdome. 22 men enter, 11 leave. I'm not sure what to make of this week's episode, but as Val puts it, "it wasn't me, it was the foreskin." Wait, what? Oh, Solid Cat.

It's Spring Break season at Solid Cat. We explain western vs. eastern christianity, which leads to Jewish calendars, which leads to crossword puzzles, which leads to purposeful misspellings, which leads to Under Armour, which leads to Shoe Talk with D-mo & Val. Don't you just love stream of consciousness podcasting? Say hi to Rocket the Rusty Rocket. Killer tombstones need David Caruso. James Van Der Beek is a good-looking man. There is a super brief Michael Sheen retrospective, and we agree that Alan Rickman will always been Snape. Chocolate ganache in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. It's time for the Solid Cat General Apology. D-mo and Val talk about their dreams, and will God smite Val with a plague of baboons? Things that are not cocaine: sno-balls, Mexican Coke, curry, and white lady. Or are they? The credits are high as a kite of Solid Cat!

The Getty Villa, the Griffith Observatory, and El Capitan Theatre... man, Solid Cat is all over Los Angeles. First off, as a good rule of thumb, don't throw a punch at your producer. Depression lies. In 1998, D-mo made Lisa Loeb the Green Lantern; this was favorited by Lisa Loeb herself on Twitter in 2015. Val got kicked in the face; literally a foot to the face. We have fun historical facts about Magellan. Mr. T pities the tool; yes, the tool. Camels go missing in Missouri; they may or may not be gay; Cher may or may not be involved. The Most Interesting Man in the World can't get you out of a carpool violation ticket. What is the "Most Canadian Photo Ever?" We review the new live action Cinderella, and following that up with a review of Greenblatt's deli in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. We play Superfight again on Solid Cat Game Night, and we're sorry for any relationships we may have broken up due to our gameplay. Editors! Do you job! And we end with Val making fun of how D-mo runs. What's up with that? This is Solid Cat.

We may be fat, but ain't ugly here at Solid Cat. D-mo loves tenacious pinatas. Zoe is known more for silent terror (she's screaming on the inside). Are nail spas modern-day brothels? We visit the Getty Villa to start a grand tour of Los Angeles. Want to start a conversation, wear a Flash t-shirt. Famous people and people who portray them on film. Will Smith takes us to John Wayne who takes us to Hollywood whitewashing and yellowface, as John Wayne played Genghis Khan in a movie. Yes, that Genghis Khan. Of course, the worst yellowface was Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. What is moleology? Heard of urine-repellant paint? We have the world's first penis transplant. In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we review the ice cream of Milk, on Beverly. At The Counter, they sell a beer float. Yes, bear with ice cream. Let's celebrate the ninja. How awesome would a real-life Studio Ghibli-Land be? Val is like a songbird... or a whore siren (her words). And yes, from Albania to Zimbabwe, Solid Cat is 100 country strong. #BOOM

Rest in peace, Leonard Nimoy. Val always thought Spock was hot. But we do have a full show of Solid Cat today. Burritos are Mexican food, but breakfast burritos are not. Did Val nail her Oscar pick? Catwoman is bisexual now. Ever wonder what it sound like Val won't let D-mo finish a sentence? We have 5 minutes of it, and in the end, D-mo may not have made his point. Val says her ethnicity is "Freckled-American." Lots of news this week including a belly bounce, backhoes, snooker, stolen log cabins, a terror owl, and drive-by eggings. Solid Cat Game Night returns with Superfight. In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we learn how to cut a cake, how to pour ketchup from a bottle, and how to eat a hamburger, according to science. From the Dojo, we have perhaps the greatest product review on Amazon. Someone is shipping snow and fun and profit. And then there is a radioactive Loch Ness Monster. Only on Solid Cat.

Hit the lights and sirens, it’s time for Solid Cat! Seriously, what’s with all the cops up in our peaceful, little hamlet? Let’s talk about Aquaman. Sexy, hunky Aquaman; hey, Jason Momoa is a good looking man. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! What’s with all the dinner parties we’re having? D-mo says Girl Scouts are getting militant with their cookie sales. Solid parenting tips from Solid Cat. Is topless women throwing mayonnaise a big issue in Belarus? Canadians are not impressed. Premier League chat. #zeromalice Thai Salad in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. Ten Things with Val about the past being utterly disgusting. A gem trader is marrying off fatherless women in India, and it’s a good thing. And we throw in a little Oscar talk, which is funny, because we didn’t see any of the movies. It’s how we roll at Solid Cat!

After two months… SOLID CAT RETURNS! Pro tip: Back up your hard drive onto an external drive. Trust me on this one. The new computer in Solid Cat Studios was more of like a Time Lord regeneration. Happy Valentine’s Day! Val is mildly disappointed that Sherlock and John aren’t gay, and D-mo drops an interesting theory on Moriarty’s return. We talk about Jane Austen for no good reason. Colin Firth looks great for his age; Kenny Rogers looks like a troll. Why was Peppa Pig banned? Carrying a basilisk in your pocket is a flawed idea. We explore fun, yet dangerous, national parks. Can a kangaroo be a service animal? It’ll be “Undie Sunday” in Bakersfield, aka Condorstown, with a 50 Shades of Gray twist. Speaking of, Sexytime with D-mo & Val returns as well this week. And 109 year old guy makes sweaters for penguins, and we try to decide where the cut off is between “horribly dated” and “classic.” You’ve missed us, and we’ve missed you. It’s time to strap on a brand new Solid Cat!

It's 12/13/14 at Solid Cat (unless you live outside North America, then never mind). D-mo was a roofer today... because, rain. Val can't stop yawning. There is no war on Christmas. Wanna put the Christ in Christmas, then feed the poor. You should say "Happy 2015" all year long. Charades are always an adventure. (Correction: Dar es Salaam is not the capital of Sudan as said on the show. It was the capital of Tanzania until 1996. Our bad). High speed cow chase. Not cop chase, a cow chase, though cops were involved. Abby Normal. Then we talk about "the Sexy," with banned sex acts on British porn and we settle Butts vs. Boobs. Sex is like a credit card: you get the enjoyment now, but you have to pay for later... with interest. We have the most offensively name foods on the planet (seriously, what are 6 Faggots in Gravy? It can't be real). In the finish, a Finnish kid is running for office, and Val dusts off the Sailor Moon. Moon Prism Power, Solid Cat!

Happy Thanksgiving from Solid Cat. To start, corporate greed saved D-mo's father's life - it's a heartwarming tale of capitalism. Val transitions this into a discussion of a flat tax, and D-mo suggests we eliminate income tax completely. But then the comedy kicks in. Legos are washing up on beaches. Wolves in France, tigers in China, and Putin on point. There was some Black Friday expeditioning and a lack of turkey leftovers. We have the instant classic of Bing and Bowie. What is a lumbersexual? Val's friend Caryn is our validation for intellectual jokes. And then... there is a turkey reaper, as in an actual turkey in the role of Grim Reaper. Only on Solid Cat.

Solid Cat... the hour long show that always takes 90 minutes. Why did God call D-mo today? Our daughter has rock star hours. Also, her personal library would rival the children's section in most public libraries. Was Marie Antoinette the catalyst for the Industrial Revolution? Was Marie Antoinette a cosplayer? Fun fact: since Solid Cat has been broadcasting, UCLA has never lost to USC in the big game. Coincidence? D-mo really is the Spirit of Aloha. Then there is the Bug-a-salt: it's weird, but awesome. Is Winnie the Pooh of "dubious sexuality"? Someone is blessing the asses of single ladies so they can get husbands. Swedes don't have a word for female masturbation and are working to remedy that. We have the best pick-up lines that don't work. We have bonus content in the Space Cowboy Kitchen and Paws Up! Finally, at the end of the show, Val just loses it. Every once in a while, Val is reduced to a laughing mess, and when she does, it's awesome to behold. And it happened on this week's Solid Cat.

One of our new taglines is: Come laugh, come be informed, come be offended. And boy did we hit all three on this week's Solid Cat. Playing Chutes and Ladders for cash is downright cutthroat. We have been downloaded in 48 of 50 U.S. States (I'm looking at you Alaska and Vermont). We're fun together. Necrophilia and Narcolepsy are two different things; Val has one of them. Razors: whatever D-mo saved in cash, he paid for in blood. Learn how to tie a tie would ya! Pico Rivera is chock full of archers. "Maybe he's the Malcolm Merlyn to my Ollie Queen?" Things that creep the hell out of Val are raisins in baked goods, and spaces between walls. RIP Zoboomafoo. D-mo is also a fashion designer. A pair of apple pie inspired recipes in the Kitchen. Cinnebon Vodka! Teutonic and tectonic are two different things, and a geology joke leads to German efficiency which leads to how Hitler may have been responsible for Israel. What? So after that, let's end with a Dick Tracy movie reference. I await your angry tweets and e-mail. This is Solid Cat.

Solid Cat One Hundred! And for some reason, Val said we're like Jesus. Sure, let's run with that. WWD&VD? This show, like all of them, is a crapshoot. Does "shooting the shit" come from plunking cowpies with a squirrel gun? Val is reading the 17th century version of Urban Dictionary... for fun. Holy cow, Sherlock is sooo much better than Elementary. What the hell happened in the Doctor Who finale? Two words: Master Falconer. Butter. The Space Cowboy Kitchen returns. What does Picasso have to do with cupcakes? Know your fundamentals. In addition to doing this podcast for 100 episodes, we were on the radio, real radio, for three years; you'd think we'd better than this. We saw a movie on opening weekend (WHAT?), and we review Big Hero 6. D-mo lets his comic book nerd spill all over the place. We list our Top 5 Disney movies. Val lists the ten reasons you can't get a stiffy (hey floppy guy at the gangbang, listen up). #sniffyourtears Why does D-mo have an unhealthy obsession towards Canada? After 100 episodes, we are like Jesus is that our words are just as widespread across the globe as his! Now stand back, Solid Cat is about to be smote by the Almighty.

It's the start of D-MOvember here on Solid Cat! Valerie had an Oktoberfest birthday and had the first hangover in years. In Germany, they don't have port-a-johns, they have port-a-johanns. Our hummus recipe is pretty damn good. The Charlotte Hornets are back! D-mo loves team apps with local radio feeds. Val thinks Pelicans is a worse team name than Redblacks. WHAT? For the record, it's spelled "umtzz umtzz." Why didn't we tell anyone about Valloween? But let's talk about Halloween. Hot glue is a harsh mistress. The wand chooses the wizard; that much has always been true. The homeless are single-handedly saving the planet via recycling. Mexican Coke is legit. Val says we need to bring back a code of honor, an acceptance of transients, and a much more forgiving nature towards traveling craftsmen. Cosplay has explained a lot of odd things away. We have a record-setting pumpkin. Does D-mo have Low T? Oh, and D-mo just called the Clippers the Kato Kaelin of L.A. sports (I guess, thus implying, the Lakers are the O.J. Simpson of L.A. sports). If you're looking for a trucker with a heart of gold, sorry, all we have are D-mo and Val. 10-4 Solid Cat!

We're random, smart, and funny... often at the same time... it's Solid Cat! Solid Cat runs on Dunkin' and other bizarre donut tales. Los Angeles is an eclectic foodie experience and we'll wait for anything. The rust belt is coming back! Sorta. Putin is a macho man, and that leads to a "world class" Solid Cat segue to heroin, gherkins, and garlic. Nobody's a fan of Steinbeck. Vanilla Ice Goes Amish is the most fun I've had watching Vanilla Ice in 20 years. Filled chocolate-chips? Why haven't I heard of these? A True Blood final season recap, loaded with spoilers. What the hell is a Scroguard? From the Dojo, we reveal our best travel tips. Is there a Paws Up for the President? And we close the show with the Space Cowboy ranting against the sun for three whole minutes. She's apparently not a fan. But we know you are. After all, this is Solid Cat!

It's a rip-roaring romp on this week's Solid Cat! (not really, but that's the story we're sticking with) We insist that holidays stay in their own months. D-mo is getting his ass back. There are horns o' plenty. Fish with human teeth? Drunk, cow-fighting pigs? Yes, please. We have some adventures on the Queen Mary. Is Val a medium? We spend the bulk of the show on musicals and movies, including Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The NeverEnding Story, and the original Muppet Movie. Can we all agree that Dorcas is a horrible name, especially for a woman? Did D-mo compare Kermit the Frog to Doctor Who. And a medically-inspired Ten Things with Val that'll make you wonder how we ever made it. They can't all be winners, especially on Solid Cat.

When in come to Solid Cat, always vote Aye! Finally, we're doing that Ten Things with Val that we've been dancing around for 3 weeks. Is D-mo the Scotland of his office? We have surprisingly full coverage of the Scottish Independence vote (and is D-mo trying to do a Peter Capaldi impersonation?) We have the Ig Nobel prize winners... with fermented sausages. This week's Sexytime deals with accidentally found dildos. From the Dojo asks where our numbers went? It's never too late on this week's Paws Up. You say "It's a life hack," I say "I MacGyver-ed something." If you like a smart discussion about topical subjects, then dial up this "comedy" podcast. We get it. Sometimes we're too clever for our own good; we're Solid Cat!

Solid Cat All-Star Matrice is in the studio for this week's Solid Cat. The innocuous phrase "Stings like the Dickens" leads to a super-sized segment on books and literary classics. D-mo has forgotten more literary classics that most people will ever read. What are our most influential books? The books are ALWAYS better than the movie. Is Stephanie Meyer the most influential author of the early 21st century? (the answer is a resounding YES) Why is NC-17 the kiss of death? Same thing with a G rating. Hey... read to your kids. Penny-farthing! "Do people still do cocaine lines?" D-mo & Val have a relaxing effect on people. And there may be some singing of the Spice Girls. Seriously though, if you like books, you've LOVE this episode of Solid Cat.

Frothy things are always good things, and so is SOLID CAT. This week: did D-mo just compare himself to Mel Torme? "Mistress of Pajamas" really is a boss nickname. What is the Giant Floating Disembodied Head... named Steve? It's Dr. Whoutlander Day, and Val is trying to make that happen. Val is having problems with fingering her apps (wait, what?). There was a lack of Whitesnake jokes where there should have been. The Great Sock Mystery is solved! The world's largest dinosaur is found, and otters are a keystone species (SCIENCE!). Sexytime with D-mo & Val returns... Dutch style. We finish with boobs, boobs, and boobs, and then D-mo gets on his sexy soapbox. Didn't know soapboxes could be sexy? They are on Solid Cat!

On this week's Solid Cat, the show gets taken over by our sister show: Macabre Hour with D-mo & Val. But before donated skulls got us to that point, it was quite the hot mess express. Target & Thai food is a good Saturday night. D-mo went to the gym. Seriously. Val has been consistent with her food logging. Seriously! The show comes to a screeching halt due to a cracked glass. What is Sheeptapus? "Nobody got the whole enchilada?" "Dingoes are Australian coyotes. They didn't call them coyotes because Aussies don't speak Spanish." We have a spirited discussion about Spirited Away. The 8 best running songs. Free cats with every mortgage. But the show really excels under the Macabre Hour bits, featuring D-mo "the Master of Light Beige-ness" and Val "the Mistress of Pajamas." This is Solid Cat... or Macabre Hour?!?!?

Up for an adventure to everywhere and nowhere? Welcome to Solid Cat. Let's lead with Outlander... but let's talk about Assassin's Creed first... and then jump to Twilight (?)... and then on to Outlander. There is a new Doctor Who and he's Scottish. Valerie is too OCD to live in the Big Brother house. Do you need a FaceTime buddy? We're available. Our news is overly-chicken-themed this week, and efficient German justice is doled out. Barnes & Noble graffiti exists. Will D-mo ever do the ice bucket challenge? Chris Pratt has become the fitness icon. The Space Cowboy Kitchen this week is powered by the Outlander Kitchen. We went school supply shopping (hot damn!). D-mo is taking back his desk. We have crickets. Lots of crickets. And wait until Draco's father hears about this. This... being Solid Cat.

On this week's Solid Cat, we go full nerd. But before we do, we talk Medieval cats with flaming backpacks that were actual weaponized felines. Did Weezer create hipsters? Monkey selfies, and side show prohibition. Also is every full moon a supermoon now? However, as this is the Nerdertainment episode, here are the movies/tv shows we reference in today's show: Guardians of the Galaxy; Star Trek; Twilight; Iron Man; Thor; Captain America; Agents of SHIELD; Agent Carter; Arrow; Flash; LEGO Marvel Heroes; Pirate Fairy; Hemlock Grove; Outlander; Deep Space Nine; Battlestar Galactica; X-Men: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers; Chasing Amy; License to Kill; Daredevil; and Dawn of Justice. That's gotta be like a record. I'm not sure, but this is, for sure, Solid Cat.

It's D-mo's 40th Birthday celebration on Solid Cat! We start with Shakespeare and we finish with German Expressionism, but in the middle... we're podcasting in the daytime (shock), Val sounds like a southern belle when off air, and Val is the personification of the Dead Sea. Romeo is a whiny little bitch. Zoe interrupts us, repeatedly. We people watch at the theatre. We talk Wonder Woman, and the Great Alaskan Bush Company. We have hot volleyball players and accident penis amputations. For his birthday, D-mo had a celebratory birthday at Jack in the Box. There is a muscular guy at the pool, and we discuss Howard-Hughes-isms. Val has a hippie mom and a sailor dad. We hit two museums and reference a third. We recite our General Apology, and share some motivational memes. "Why am I slow clapping?" This is Solid Cat.

It's the Season 3 Premiere of Solid Cat. Our hometown of Pico Rivera, California, is the UNDISPUTED World Champion of illegal fireworks. If we can't stop the influx of illegal fireworks, what chance to we have against drugs and guns. Valerie says North Carolina is "Virginia's Mexico." In the World Cup, D-mo asks "How do say, 'taken behind the woodshed,' in Portuguese?" We have an absolute gem about jizz from ESPN's Tommy Smyth. We talk about the real ass-ball-huggy-thingy; it's like a schlong sling. Mel Brooks has ruined D-mo, as he now channels Peter Boyle. We talk about a Bob Hope movie (???). Meat falls off the back of a truck, and we have marble vaginas and bad German accents. Val regales with tales of the sweet melody of cats in heat. We have villains holding koalas and frozen burritos, inspired by Disney's Frozen. And now, we dance - *umtzz*umtzz*umtzz* This is Solid Cat... SEASON THREE!

Solid Cat is orgasmic this week. Why? Well, most people, after sex, they cuddle. What do we do? We podcast! Val is hungover but had the best day ever. We revisit Dave Coulier. We talk international sporting events: first the Quidditch Global Games, and then the World Cup. Did someone find Dracula's grave? D-mo shows an unnatural amount of love for New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment. Finnish babies sleep in cardboard boxes. The Solid Cat audience determine the winner in Levi's vs. Wrangler... or do they? D-mo utters the phrase "ass ball huggy," when the phrase he was looking for was "form-fitting." We talk up French knickers. We bust out some Dole Whip in the Kitchen, as once again, we talk pineapples. We then stumble into some quasi-serious immigration talk, and then stumble into some quasi-legit motivational words (no, not ass ball huggy). This is Solid Cat!

The newly rebranded D-mo "the Spirit of Aloha" joins Val the Space Cowboy on this week's Solid Cat. First up, pineapples. Lot of them. Can't get enough of the King of the Fruits. Val is literally squeezing the juices out of them. We're going to make our own Dole Whip, and the pineapple clock radio has a nasty snooze button. There's a random The Tick reference. The Middle East loves the bosom. "...speaking of Balls-in-Your-Face Johnson" leads to random Balls Mahoney reference. Yes, the ECW wrestler. The Danger Diva says she's fast, but the Flash is faster. Triple Crown sour grapes leads to Horse Racing Chat with D-mo & Val. "I've been on the forefront of bacon love before there was even a bacon bandwagon." The 17 best restaurants names ever. The 10 most impactful movies to the film industry. You should always stay through the movie credits... it's a gold mine of comedy. There is a 6-year-old fight to the death with accompanying music. My Neighbor Totoro has so many unanswered questions. That leads to Mall Chat with D-mo & Val. And then we finish with a hashtag that Val is actually trying to get going: #summerconfessions This... is Solid Cat.

Like a leave in the wind, so goes this week's Solid Cat. It was a big day for Val and Zoe. D-mo was a car crash hero, sorta. Val is learning German (kudos to Duolingo). ripped jeans need replacin'. Morgan Freeman returns to the show. We talk about a skin thief, and choking a fox; they're not related. D-mo dishes fashion advice, and hails the importance of having your own tailor. We go from the Shewee to a convo about lady bits. We highlight a top notch Little Mermaid tattoo. It's tiki time in the Space Cowboy Kitchen, and we finish with Reading Rainbow. This is Solid Cat.