Podcasts about dear dr

Perfectionism Update Featuring Adam Holman Today we are joined by Adam Holman, LCSW. Adam has recently left his full time clinical practice in Arizona to join our Feeling Great app team here in San Francisco. I think you'll be delighted by his warmth and wisdom. Although he works with us full-time, he still practices one day per week and specializes in X depression, anxiety, and screen addiction(e.g. video game addiction and more.) He has appeared on two previous Feeling Good Podcasts, # X and # Y. We are delighted to have Adam as the honored guest on today's Ask David podcast! Today's questions come all the way from North Macedonia! Dear Dr. Burns, Thank you so much for your kind response. I'd be truly honored if my questions could be considered for a future episode of your Ask David podcast. Your work has been a key influence in my research on perfectionism and its cognitive-behavioral aspects. Here are a few brief questions I'm currently exploring: How has your view of perfectionism evolved since Feeling Good? What strategies have you found most effective for challenging perfectionistic thinking in therapy? Is perfectionism often rooted in a fear of not being “good enough”? How does it typically manifest in academic or professional environments? If you happen to include any of these in a future episode, I'd be grateful if you could let me know so I can tune in. Thank you again for your time and for the lasting impact of your work. Warm regards, Mitko Toshev Doctoral Student Faculty of Pedagogy University “St. Kliment Ohridski” – Bitola North Macedonia David's Reply Yes, this will make for an excellent podcast with a refresher on perfectionism, featuring questions from Mitko and a spirited discussion with Adam, Rhonda and yours truly! We had an in depth discussion of all the latest bells and whistles in the treatment of perfectionism with TEAM CBT. This included the two very different but complementary approaches to treating depression or any of the 23 common Self-Defeating Beliefs. So, if you've ever struggle with the thought that you're not good enough, or that you SHOULDN'T have made this or that mistake, this podcast will be right up your alley! Thanks, Mitko! david

I'm in the PITT.. but for real, Dr. Robby is so back. We have some heavy topics to talk about today in the beginning of the episode, so please be sure to skip past if it's not what you can handle today. We get into some light hearted conversation, with some AITA submissions, and quesitons at the end. Just another day to be your bestie!!   This is the podcast where all women can feel at home—like you're just chatting with a friend.  So grab your coffee, your emotional support water bottle, or whatever you need, and let's get into it!    ♡30% OFF PROGRAMS +: free 5 day trial to my membership: https://www.desbfittraining.com  ♡ 95' MERCH: https://desbfittraining.myshopify.com/collections/shop-merch  ♡ WORK WITH DBFT 1-1: https://dbftllc.typeform.com/COACHDBFT  ♡ Join BetterHelp today - https://bit.ly/betterhelpbrunch  code “desb” for 10% off your first month! #ad #sponsored   TIME STAMPS: (2:28) thank POD!!! (5:39) women not supporting women (9:30) trigger warning: DEATH   (20:00) updates and launches (26:00) Q AND A (35:30) AITA  ---- And remember, if you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review the podcast. Your feedback helps me continue to bring you content you love.   SHOP HYDROJUG, code desb for 10% off: https://bit.ly/DESBhydrojug  SHOP BUFFBUNNY, code desb for 10% off: https://bit.ly/buffbunny DESB SHOP PTULA, code desb for 10% off: https://www.ptula.com/desb  SHOP ACTA, code desb for 10% off: https://www.actawear.com/desb  SHOP MY CURRENT OUTFITS: https://www.shopltk.com/explore/desb   leave me a voicemail: https://bit.ly/voicemail_bwd tell me a secret/ask for advice: https://brunchwithdesb.com  MY SKINCARE AND MAKEUP: https://www.shopltk.com/explore/desb___  OPEN FACEBOOK FITNESS COMMUNITY: https://bit.ly/dbftcommunity_bwd

The Gospel Manifesto in the Book of Romans Pt. 2: The Bad News, Romans 1:18-3:20 By Louie Marsh, 5-4-2025 3 Cartoons,   And Finally…   Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."  Patient: "Go with the good news first."  Doctor: "You have 24 hours to live."  Patient: "What?! How about the bad news?"  Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday."   1) God wrath (anger) is stirred when I REPRESS the truth.   18  For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19  For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20  For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21  For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22  Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23  and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. Romans 1:18-23 (ESV)   2) God honors my free will by allowing me to SIN.   24  Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25  because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. Romans 1:24-25 (ESV)   26  For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; Romans 1:26 (ESV)   HOMOSEXUALITY IN ANCIENT ROME: The primary dichotomy of ancient Roman sexuality was active/dominant/masculine and passive/submissive/"feminized". In Roman society the freeborn male citizen possessed political liberty and the right to rule both himself and his household. "Virtue" was seen as an active quality through which a man defined himself. The conquest mentality and "cult of virility" shaped same-sex relations. Roman men were free to enjoy sex with other males without a perceived loss of masculinity or social status, as long as they took the dominant role. Acceptable male partners were slaves, prostitutes, and entertainers, Although Roman men in general seem to have preferred youths between the ages of 12 and 20 as sexual partners, freeborn male minors were strictly off-limits, and professional prostitutes and entertainers might be considerably older.   Same-sex relations among women are less documented. The Augustan poet Ovid takes an exceptionally keen interest, but advocates for a heterosexual lifestyle contrary to Roman sexual norms.   28  And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29  They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30  slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31  foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32  Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. Romans 1:28-32 (ESV)   Ways We Suppress the Truth:   ·  DENIAL · No one's PERFECT · I was BORN that way.   Dear Dr. Roach: I read your recent column regarding identical twins where one of the two was balding while his twin was not. Within my family, there are identical twin brothers, who also were almost impossible for family members to differentiate. If their DNA genes are “identical,” now that they are adults, how can one be homosexual, while his twin is married with children?   Studies have shown that in identical twins, if one twin is gay (the term “homosexual” is used in clinical studies but is considered offensive, so I won't use it further), then 30 per cent to 66 per cent of the identical twins also will be gay. As this is much higher than the overall rate in the population, this suggests some, but not absolute, genetic influence.   However, an adopted sibling of a gay person is also more likely to be gay (11 per cent in one study), suggesting that the familial environment also plays a significant role.   Some people who are attracted to the same gender can be so afraid of, or put off by, the social stigma against same-sex couples that they marry and have children with a person of the opposite sex despite being primarily or uniquely attracted to those of the same gender.   Some people have found that they may be attracted to a person of either gender; their choice of life partner depends more on the partner's personality and their unique situation than on his or her biological sex.   Sexual identity is not a choice. We cannot choose to whom we will be attracted. I'm afraid many people fundamentally misunderstand this point. *** Dramatic confirmation that the sea ice in the Arctic has been stable for nearly two decades is contained in a recently published science paper from a team led by Dr Mark England from the University of Exeter. The finding is of course obvious to anyone who studies the data but it will inconvenience the activist cranks who continue to promote supposed reductions in Arctic sea ice as an important sign of their imaginary ‘tipping points' and their fake climate crisis. Despite the data showing the ice has been stable over every month in the year since around 2007. ************ Living together before marriage increasing the changes of getting a divorce.   3) When I condemn others I'm really just condemning MYSELF.   1  Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things… 3  Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? 4  Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? Romans 2:1, 3-4 (ESV)   4) I must be PERFECT to be good enough for heaven.   12  For all who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. 13  For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified. Romans 2:12-13 (ESV)   5) I'm just as much a sinner as EVERYONE ELSE.   9  What then? Are we Jews any better off? No, not at all. For we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin, 10  as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; 11  no one understands; no one seeks for God…20  For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin. Romans 3:9-11, 20 (ESV)   6) God's answer to sin is FAITH in Jesus.   16  yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified. Galatians 2:16 (ESV)   11  Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for “The righteous shall live by faith.” 12  But the law is not of faith, rather “The one who does them shall live by them.” 13  Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree”— 14  so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith. Galatians 3:11-14 (ESV)                  

On today's show: News; WHO calls for stricter alcohol controls in Czechia amid rising health concern; 50 years since Havel's “Dear Dr. Husák”: How Czech archive keeps memory of Communism alive in 21st century; and our feature, poet and literary editor, Jana Prikryl, 

On today's show: News; WHO calls for stricter alcohol controls in Czechia amid rising health concern; 50 years since Havel's “Dear Dr. Husák”: How Czech archive keeps memory of Communism alive in 21st century; and our feature, poet and literary editor, Jana Prikryl, 

Dr. Tracy thinks it's okay to go to bed angry. She's also got advice for when your partner feels more like a roommate. The couples therapist has hundreds of thousands of followers. And few of them know she's based in Ottawa. Robyn Bresnahan books an appointment on the therapist's sofa to find out who she is and what her idea of a perfect date night in Ottawa looks like.Thanks to Cloud10 for the use of clips from the podcast 'Dear Dr. Tracy'.

Ask David My friend won't say thank you! Dating Anxiety Religion vs. Psychotherapy We want to remind you about an awesome virtual workshop on habits and addictions that Dr. Jill Levitt and David will be presenting on March 28, 2025 We will feature powerful new paradoxical techniques that will blow your socks off. It will be from 8:30 to 4:30 and you will earn 7 CE credits while having fun and learning how to heal yourself AND you patients. Check it out! It's less than two weeks away, some check it out while you still have time! You'' LOVE it and LEARN a LOT! Registration and More Information Here! As is so often the case, the answers to these questions that appear in the show notes were email replies to the person before the show. To get the full discussion, make sure you listen to the actual podcast, as the answers often evolve in unexpected ways when the “experts” hash it out! Today's episode is chock full of personal stories (some racy), expert Five Secrets advice and demonstration,  philosophical / spiritual discussion, and secrets of successful (and racy) dating. 1. Brittany asks: What can I do say to a friend who does not say “thank you” when I pay for our meal or drive a long distance just to see them? 2. Jaydipe asks: How can I get over my anxiety around attractive women? 3. Ali asks: Can religious beliefs cause or intensify feelings of anxiety? (David will talk about the synergies between TEAM CBT and spirituality in all religions. He will also mention the potential antagonisms.)   1. Brittany asks: What can I do say to a friend who does not say “thank you” when I pay for our meal or drive a long distance just to see them. Hello David and Rhonda, I have a friend who typically does not say thank you to me when I pay for a meal out or drive us a long distance. I am someone who always says thank you even if the other person just bought us $10 worth of fast food or gave a short ride. I find myself feeling resentful towards my friend for not saying anything when I pay and drive us around all day. It makes me feel like they don't appreciate it. At the same time, talking about it and sharing my feelings would then feel like I'm asking them to say it, and then it would not feel authentic. I have said something about it in the past, and they were like I'm sorry, thank you. But it didn't mean much at that point. Is this one of those annoying traits I just learn to accept? Thank you, Brittany David's reply Well, you could just use a gentle I Feel statement, which might be paradoxically stronger, but combined with Stroking. Like this, "Jennie, you know I think the world of you, and greatly enjoy our times together, but when I pay for lunch, or drive a distance to hang out with you, you rarely ever say "thank you," and then I feel hurt and unappreciated." Something like that combines Stroking with I Feel and might be effective. But I always rate myself on what I do, or say, and not so much on how the other person reacts. You could, perhaps, also ask if they are upset with you about something that they've had trouble expressing to you. Best, david 2. Jaydipe asks: How can I get over my anxiety around attractive women? Hi David Many thanks for the podcast I'm struggling with social anxiety and talking to attractive women and I've watched all the podcasts relating to it. I think deep down I have a shame around finding women attractive, so I find it difficult to express interest in them. I find that I can talk to them easily during activities like climbing or co workers, but even on dates with women I can't seem to take things forwards playfully like you'd expect on a date. I'm too serious and I think that turns people off. I feel like I'm under the spotlight and I have to impress them otherwise they won't like me. I know this isn't true and I've been trying to get myself to do exposure therapy by asking girls for their numbers and being rejected so it helps with that. Also, I struggle with societal expectations, I hear women say that they don't want to be approached or talked to or anything so I just end up avoiding them because I don't want to annoy them, but it holds me back from getting the sex and relationships I want Any help much appreciated Thanks, Jaydipe David's Reply I have included your excellent question on an upcoming Ask David. In the meantime, have you read my book on dating, Intimate Connections? Best, david PS Should I use your first name, or a fake first name? 3. Ali asks: Can religious beliefs cause or intensify feelings of anxiety? Dear Dr. Burns, After reading your books, I've started to recognize that many of my anxious beliefs seem to have a religious background. For example, in the Bible, there's a verse from John 5:14: “Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, ‘See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.'” Here's where I struggle: I want to live my life freely, which includes things like being with different girls before marriage (something I already do). But according to religion, this is considered adultery and a sin. Another verse that weighs heavily on me is from Matthew 5:27-29: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” I often find myself looking at beautiful women on the street, which Christianity teaches is sinful, and this sometimes leads to feelings of guilt. I wonder: do I need to leave religion altogether to break free from these negative, self-critical thoughts? I also have other related thoughts that seem to link my faith with the good things happening in my life. For instance: My life is going well right now. My parents are alive, my brother is getting married, I'm healthy, and I've been fortunate in many ways. I've had incredible experiences, like participating in two Erasmus+ exchange programs in Poland and Lithuania during university, volunteering in Latvia for a year, and even having my New Zealand visa approved in a highly competitive process (only 100 spots for 85 million people, and the application closed in 5 minutes!). I often think that these blessings are because I believe in Jesus, follow the Bible, and try to live as a good person who avoids sin and doesn't deceive others. But then these anxious thoughts arise: I should always be thankful or pray, or else my life will fall apart. If I leave religion, something bad might happen—my parents could fall ill or pass away, and it would all feel like my fault for turning away from Jesus. Without faith, I'd lose my good fortune(luck), my appearance, and my opportunities. Wherever I apply to would be rejected, then I would understand that it was Jesus in the first place doing all of these things in my life, not me or vice versa! I'd find a terrible job, terrible working environment, terrible mutual relationships. Then everything would be my fault and I'd tell myself I should have believed in him in the first place but now I deserve everything that happens to me! These thoughts are overwhelming, and I'd love to hear your perspective on how to approach and challenge them. Thank you so much for your time and the invaluable insights you share in your work. Warm regards, Ali David's reply Hi Ali, Sorry you are struggling with so many restrictions, judgments, and inhibitions! I can imagine it triggers anxiety, guilt, inadequacy, resentment, discouragement, and more. You can let me know! If you want, I can include this as an Ask David question on a podcast, with your first name, or a fake first name. Let me know if this works for you. Also, what religion are you? I know that many religions around the world can be very fundamentalistic and super strict in their teachings. My own religious upbringing had a touch of rigidity, too. Best, david Ali's response to David Hello again, Actually, my family comes from the Christian (Orthodox-Armenian) minority in Turkey, where I was born and raised. So, I am an Orthodox Christian. You're absolutely right that I struggle with many restrictions and judgments. I'd love for you to include this as an "Ask David" question on a podcast since I haven't seen any episode (and I've listened to most of your recent podcasts, including number 408: Do You Believe in God? Does God Exist?) that addresses this topic. By the way, I already use an alias, so "Ali" is a fake name, but you're welcome to use it in your podcast! Here's a quick DML (Daily Mood Log) to clarify what I'm dealing with: The Upsetting Event: Doing my daily half-hour Bible reading before bed and coming across certain verses. Emotions: Sad: 60% Anxious/Worried: 70% Inadequate: 60% Guilty/Bad: 90% Abandoned: 70% Pessimistic/Discouraged: 80% Stuck: 75% Angry/Resentful: 75% Tricked/Duped: 80% Although I don't consider myself a devout Christian, over the past few years, I've started reading the Bible—the Old and New Testaments. Initially, I read them in my native language, but now I read in English to fully understand the content. Growing up in the church, I believed everything the priest taught. However, encountering some events and stories that seem illogical to me has made me question my beliefs. I often feel tricked and wonder if I've truly believed in all this. At the same time, I feel anxious and worried, as if questioning or criticizing my religion is a betrayal of God. Please let me know if you need any additional information. Ali David's reply Thanks, Ali, this is super. I was also raised in a somewhat strict Christian (Lutheran) home, and as a child had plans to become a minister, like my dad. In college, I learned critical thinking, and began to question some of what I was taught when I was growing up. For example, there seemed to be a bit of a bias against Jews, and my dad said they had to convert to Christianity to be  ”saved” and, I guess, avoid going to hell after they died. That didn't sound right at all, not loving, as Christ taught, who was himself a Jew, but hostile and judgmental. And I had good friends who were Jewish, so it felt offensive. Same with people who were gay. A strong bias that this was somehow “bad” and sinful, or something like that. Christianity, in the sense of the Catholic church, was really created by people a couple hundred years after Christ died, and they were reflecting their own human biases when they wrote the new testament and translated the old testaments. For better or worse, I am personally not afraid to disagree with much of what is in the Bible, and interpret it, not literally, but as a series of stories trying to communicate important spiritual truths, but these truths get quite distorted when people began focusing on literal truths, rather than “seeing” the message. Literal translations of religion risk missing the spiritual meaning and truth. This is especially true of the orthodox movement within any religion. This tendency toward being literal, rigid, and judgmental may be a partially inherited, genetic trait. Regardless, to me, it is offensive and ugly, and definitely not religious, but quite the opposite. In the early days, lots of religious cults emerged, and they all had their own special leaders. If your leader couldn't walk on water, that guru was considered inferior. So, it was fashionable to say that your spiritual guru could “walk on water.” What does that really mean? To me, it means that this person is pretty special, and much kinder and more loving than most others, and can perhaps convey some spiritual truths to us. But actual walking on water is a magic trick best left to television and stage magicians. This is my thinking only, and I do not wish to impose my thinking and beliefs on you or on anybody! I had tremendous respect and admiration for a Catholic nun, Sister Shela Flynn, who worked at my clinic in Philadelphia because she wanted to learn how to do CBT. She was humble and wonderful, and once shared with me that she also thought the stories in the bible were primarily metaphors, just stories trying to convey this or that idea about love, humility, and so forth. Not literally true stories you “had to” believe to be a “good Christian.” An, in addition, using my philosophy and CBT training, there is really no such “thing” as a “good Christian.” Positive and negative labels can be useful but can also be hurtful and destructive. Will stop babbling, and feel free to reject or ignore some or everything I am saying! But on an emotional level, I feel hurt, and angry about the literal “rules-based” versions of religion. Because I see, all over the world, atrocities being committed to a massive degree in the name of this or that “religion.” I am most comfortable with Buddhism, but even then, many people take it literally, make up rules, and so forth, just like other religions or spiritual “paths.” For some reason, people love to make up rules and then try to force others to conform to their beliefs and rules. This is due, in large part, to arrogance, and the desire to feel “special” and “superior” to others. These are not, to my way of thinking, spiritual qualities, but quite the opposite. Finally, I do not mention religion in my therapy, which is 100% secular, and based on research and on scientific research on how people actually change. But at the moment of recovery, which often happens in a flash, rather suddenly, the patient often “sees” something of a spiritual nature which they had not seen or grasped before. I have never seen anyone lose their religious beliefs because of effective therapy, but quite the opposite. In fact, what we might call “recovery from depression” (or some other problem) sometimes looks an awful lot like what the religious mystics from all religions have called “enlightenment.” So, that's the sermon my dad would have perhaps wanted me to preach from a pulpit! I guess this is my pulpit, and you are in my congregation! And this Sunday morning here in Los Altos, so that's the end of today's sermon! Best, david Contact information You can sign up for the David and Jill workshop on healthier habits here: cbt-workshop.com

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 0:51 My wife hired an escort but says it wasn't technically cheating!  19:01 I'm going to grad school to find a rich husband, but I'm not that into it 40:38 Scratching the psychological itch to get revenge Question 1: Dear Dr. Lisle, I'm a 38 year old male and I work very long hours in finance. My wife, who is 27, and I have been going through a sort of dead bedroom situation for the past few months because I have been working 16-18 hours a day and sleeping about 4 hours per night. She is a housewife so she stays at home all day. Recently I just found out that my wife has been paying for and meeting with a male escort twice a week for the past three months while I was working. She confirmed that they did sleep together every time they met. She says that this is not technically cheating because she paid for his consent, so basically he didn't want to have sex with her, he just did it for money so this shouldn't count as cheating. She said there are no romantic feelings between them, but she hired the same guy for the past three months so obviously she's attracted to him. Then she tried to blame it on me for working too much and not being there for her. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I feel heartbroken and betrayed. Is she right in saying that hiring an escort doesn't count as cheating? Who is in the wrong here, me for working too much and neglecting her, or her for paying for sex and companionship outside the marriage? I don't know if I should stay with her or not, I love her but I'm furious with her for taking advantage of my good nature and spending thousands of dollars of my hard earned money so she can sleep with someone else. Question 2: Is it wrong to go to grad school with the primary goal of finding a smart, conscientious, potentially rich husband? I'm a second year dental school student, but I'm honestly here mostly to put myself in an environment surrounded by intelligent hardworking men, so I can have something in common with them and make them see me as wife material. I'm also hoping the repeat exposure would help. I am scraping by in school, passing but not too passionate about it as my main goal in life is to be a housewife to a rich husband. I'm just hoping to use the doctorate degree as an accessory to attract these men. Am I wrong in the way I'm thinking? P.S. Otherwise, where would I meet such men, on dating apps? I don't think so. Question 3: Does Dr. Lisle have any strategies for scratching the psychological itch to get revenge when someone has wronged you? Over two years ago, a long term “friend” betrayed me in an undeniable way and never acknowledged it or seemed remorseful.  We are no longer friends and don't even talk, but have many mutual friends so he is somewhat in my life. I feel that he owes me a debt and sometimes ruminate about it. I have a near constant underlying feeling that I want him to experience the shock and betrayal that I did, and that I would be willing to facilitate it if I could.  I try to put my energy into developing other, more authentic relationships and into healthy living. Is living well actually the best revenge? I am not feeling that yet and would like to serve it cold instead. Any thoughts?   X: @BeatYourGenes Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Waking Up Dreading the Day Mother-Daughter Problems Patients Who Are Afraid of Their Feelings Romantic Problems, and More Questions for today: Rose asks: I wake up dreading the day. What can I do?! Maggie integrates TEAM-CBT with prayer and asks for help with mother / daughter issues. Simon asks: “How can we deal with patients who are afrad of their feelings?” Amanda asks: “Help! I have a romantic relationship conflict! What should I do?” Aaron asks: Why are feelings of depression and anxiety correlated? In other words, why do they frequently go hand in hand? The following questions and answers were written prior to the live podcast. Make sure you listen to the podcast to get the full answers, including role-play demonstrations, and so forth.   Rose asks: I wake up dreading the day. What can I do?! Hi David, I've been reading your book, "Feeling Good," for help with my anxiety ever since my 100-year-old mom moved in with me.  Your techniques are helping, but every morning I wake up anxious, dreading starting my day.  Is there a technique to help with this? I really am working to change my thoughts from negative to more positive thanks to you. I look forward to hearing from you. Rose David's reply In my book, Feeling Good, I urge people to write down your negative thoughts, and emphasize that it won't work very well unless you do this. Many people refuse. How about you? What were the thoughts you wrote down when you woke up feeling upset and dreading your day. Could use as an Ask David on a podcast if you like. Best, david Rose wrote: Thanks for your speedy reply.  I'm new at this and just started reading the book yesterday, but I will start writing down my thoughts.  Thanks for your help. Maggie integrates TEAM-CBT with prayer and asks for help with mother / daughter issues. Dear Dr. Burns, I want to begin by expressing my deep gratitude for your work, which has had a profound impact on my life. Your book Feeling Good: The Workbook helped me overcome a very dark period of depression after being diagnosed with infertility. It truly transformed my mental health, and I continue to rely on your techniques—especially your list of cognitive distortions, which I use often to stay grounded. Your podcast has also been a great resource for me, and I've noticed recent episodes touching on the self and spirituality, which caught my attention in a special way. I felt compelled to share something personal with you. While your methods gave me the tools to change my thinking, I also found solace and strength through my faith. Prayer was an essential part of my healing process, and for me, it provided something beyond my own power. In moments when I felt I couldn't make it through on my own, the belief that there is a God I can turn to brought me peace and comfort. Both your work and my faith were crucial in my journey. Your research and teachings helped me take control of my thoughts, but my relationship with God gave me hope when I needed it most. I believe that the combination of these two—your scientifically backed methods and the power of prayer—made a tremendous difference in my recovery. I'm also excited about your app, but as someone living in Honduras, I was unable to download it. I would love to know if there are plans to make it available outside the U.S. in the near future, as it would be an incredible resource for me and others in similar situations. Lastly, can I make a suggestion for a podcast subject?  Mother daughter issues. I really need help in this area of my life. Thank you for your dedication to helping others. I hope that sharing my experience offers some insight into how both your studies and faith in something greater can bring peace and healing. With gratitude, Maggie David's reply Thanks, and we'd love to read part of your beautiful note, with or without your correct first name, on a podcast. If you can give me a more specific example of the mother daughter issue you want help with, it would make it much easier to respond in a sensible way! Warmly, david Maggie responded Dear Dr. Burns, Thank you so much for your thoughtful response and for asking me to clarify my suggestion regarding mother-daughter issues. I deeply love my mother, and I know she means well, but our relationship has become increasingly challenging as she gets older. One of the major difficulties I face is her tendency to offer passive-aggressive criticism, which leaves me feeling undermined. I've always known her to be this way—she was never very affectionate, and I've gotten used to that. However, lately, it feels like it's getting worse. She's hard of hearing, even with a hearing aid, and often adopts a “my way or the highway” attitude, which makes conversations with her exhausting. Simple moments where I hope to share something exciting are often met with dismissive or critical remarks. Here are three examples of the kind of interactions that affect me: I recently purchased tickets for a trip to Australia with friends, and her response was to ridicule my choice, saying that Spain or Italy is a much more beautiful destination. I had just bought the tickets, and all I wanted was for her to share in my excitement. I sent her a picture of a new piece of art I was excited about, and her immediate reaction was, “I liked the other one better. That one doesn't match the color of the walls.” As I was about to leave for a party with my husband, she commented, “Don't you think you're wearing too much makeup?” These kinds of remarks constantly make me feel inadequate, and it's emotionally draining. As a result, I've found myself avoiding calling or visiting her. However, this leads to feelings of guilt, especially because I love my father very much, I enjoy his peaceful company and wise conversation and advice, and not visiting them also affects my relationship with him. What I struggle with most is that I know I might regret not spending enough time with her as she gets older, even though she isn't sick or dying. I just don't know how to manage the criticism without feeling constantly undermined, and I'd appreciate any advice you might offer on how to navigate this dynamic while preserving my sense of self-worth. Thank you again for your time and for the incredible impact your work has had on my life. With gratitude, Maggie David's reply I notice you're pointing the finger of blame at her. If you want to shift things, it can be helpful to examine your role. I'm attaching a copy of the Relationship Journal. Please do three of these, one for each example below. You already have half of Step 1—what, exactly, did she say. To complete Step 1, circle all the feelings you think she may have been feeling. Then complete Steps 2 and 3, which should be fairly easy. Then I can take a look, and we'll see what we can figure out, if you'd like. Also, this will not be therapy, but general teaching. LMK if that's okay. Best, david Here are the three examples she provided, along with how she responded to her mom: Three Maggie examples of interactions with her mother (Ask David podcast) #1 Mom said: Dear, I would never have thought of Australia as a destination. I would much rather fly to Italy or Spain, filled with culture, art, and great food. Sydney would be the LAST place I'd want to visit! I replied: Well, mom, we've already been to those places, and we love a great adventure, and we're really excited by the outdoors. #2 Just as we were about to leave, Mom said: “Don't you think you're wearing too much make up?” I replied: I probably am, I didn't notice (and rushed immediately to my room to remove it.) #3 I share a piece of art I brought home, and Mom said: “I liked the one you had before. It matched the walls much better than this one. Why did you change it? Who is the artist?” I replied: “Well, we have to like it because it's the only wall in the house where it will fit, so we're just going to have to live with it.” Simon asks: “How can we deal with patients who are afraid of their feelings?” Dear Dr. David Burns, Hi, my name is Simon and I'm a clinical psychologist from Chile, sorry if my English is kind of broken, it isn't my first language. First of all, I want to tell you how grateful I am for your great work and all the knowledge you give to the general public for free. Of course I also must praise the work of the entire team working at the podcast (which I am the biggest fan from my country). I hope one day I can be a certified team cbt therapist myself in the future, but that would be a different story. I think the world needs more people with such a love for mental health and I hope I can continue to listen to your content for more years to come. Today I wanted to ask you guys some questions related to feelings. I have applied some techniques to myself and my patients and it's really mind blowing noticing how effective they are. Nevertheless, I still have one patient who struggles with accepting or permitting himself to feel his feelings. He is grieving the loss of his father and he is very good convincing me that if he does feel his sadness or anxiety (as I suggested him), he may go crazy and commit suicide. He reports good empathy from me, but I'm afraid that he may be too nice to criticize me. So, I ask for your opinion: How can we deal with patients who are afraid of their feelings? How can we build a solid relationship with our patients regarding this subject so they can finally vent these feelings? Thank you all for all the hard work and have a great day! With Love, Simon David's answer Hi Simone, Thanks for your kind words, and may want to use your question on an Ask David. LMK if that's okay. Here's the quick answer. It sounds like venting feelings is your agenda. Nearly all therapeutic failure comes from well-intentioned therapists who try to “help” or “rescue” the patient. I get the best results working on the things my patients want help with. Rhonda has a free weekly group on Wednesdays at mid-morning, and I have a free weekly training group at Stanford on Tuesday evenings (5 to 7 PM California time.) You'd be welcome to join either. Best, david Amanda asks: “Help! I have a romantic relationship conflict! What should I do?” Hi Dr Burns! Firstly, I would like to thank you for your tremendous work and heart to help people who are suffering from depression & anxiety around the world. I found your book in 2021 through a YouTube video you did with Tom Bilyeu and the rest was history. I went down to our local bookstore to get Feeling Good and I was reading it everywhere I went. It saved my life and cured my anxiety! Every time I hit a roadblock, I will go back to the book and try the techniques. I also love the podcasts as they have been very helpful for me. Shoutout to Rhonda and Dr Matt May too! I currently face an issue and would like to submit it as a question for Ask David series. Please address me as Amanda. I am in a stable and committed relationship (for 8 years) but am facing issues with my boyfriend which causes resentment between us. Meanwhile, a friend pursued me despite knowing that I am in a relationship. He told me during a meetup that he felt attracted to me and asked if I will choose him if I am single. I was attracted to this guy as he is confident, funny and carefree, which are qualities that I desire and find lacking in myself. I like him but I know that he is not a good match for me because of his actions and behaviour. The actions seemed manipulative and reflected some narcissistic tendencies. At the start, he would text me frequently then the messages became short when I declined to meet up on a 1-1 basis with him as I want to protect my own relationship. He would drop me a short message every week, using intermittent reinforcement, to ask me how I am doing and then asked if we could meet up for a meal. Example 1: Guy-"Lunch?" Me-"Ok if it's with the group." Guy-"Ok." End of communication. Example 2: Guy-"How are you recently?" Me- "I am feeling better, thanks for checking in!" Guy- "Thumbs up emoji" End of conversation. If I initiate a meetup to run errands or for a meal, he would accept it readily. In a way, there is only communication and interaction when we meet up and I know this is not a healthy interaction or something that I want. Fast forward, I ignored him and he is in a relationship now but our dynamics remain the same. If I reached out to him for a meal, he would respond and behave in a caring way when we met. He offered to buy food for me when I was sick and find ways to continue to meet up. I feel that this guy is just trying to get me as it gives him an ego boost (and thrill) that I care for him even though I am in a committed relationship. In our last meetup recently, I made sure to record how I felt and noticed that the satisfaction level has gone down to about 60% as compared to  previously when I was eager to meet him. I would like to reduce it to 10% or even 0%. I also recorded my satisfaction level when I did things alone or with my boyfriend. I realized that my satisfaction/pleasure level is higher and more consistent when I do things that I set out to do on my own and there are times it is enhanced/lowered when I spend time with my boyfriend. Using the daily mood log, the upsetting event is: I will ignore this friend for a period of time then I will go back to the same communication and meetup with him. Then, I'm stuck in the same dynamic again. My negative thoughts are: I will never be able to get out of this. I am doomed. I have no power or control, he has all the power. People always take advantage of me because I'm weak. I am a loser because I keep going back. I will never be happy again since I cannot overcome this. Things will be as such. This chapter will leave a mark on my life and I will be miserable. I am a horrible person for allowing myself to fall for someone while being in a relationship. I have been re-reading the chapter in Feeling Good on love addiction and spending more time with myself to build a relationship with myself so that I can be happy alone. I am also using the cost benefit analysis to melt my own resistance so that I do not go back but I do not seem to be able to totally defeat the negative thoughts above. I hope to receive some guidance related to this on the podcast if possible. Thank you so much! Love, Amanda David's Reply Hi Amanda, Thanks so much. There are many paths forward, but one thing that might help would be to use the Decision Making Tool since you seem to be unclear on what you want to do. That might be a good first step, or next step. You can download it from the bottom of the home page of my website, feelinggood.com. I can understand your negative feelings and confusion and self-doubt, anxiety, discouragement, frustration. I'm just speculating. There are many ways to challenge your thoughts, but some good positive reframing might help before trying to  challenge them, so you could check out your goals for each negative emotion. Including a recent Daily Mood Log, in case you don't have one. All the best, david PS What you are doing all makes good sense, developing a relationship with yourself, doing a cba, etc., Kudos! In addition, the “25 things I'm looking for in an ideal mate” tool in Intimate Connections might also be helpful. Aaron asks: Why are feelings of depression and anxiety correlated? In other words, why do they frequently go hand in hand? Hi Dr. Burns, I am rereading When Panic Attacks, this has lead to a question. In the book you mention that one theory about why people have both anxiety and depression is that they "can't distinguish different kinds of emotions." Can you expand on this to help me better understand what this means? My interpretation now has me thinking that people are just saying they are depressed and anxious because they don't understand what each word for the emotions means. Thank you for your help, Aaron W. California---LMSW (Idaho)  David's reply David D. Burns, MD Sure, but that is not my thinking, just a common theory that of course deserves respectful consideration and testing. To me, depression is the feeling that accompanies loss, and anxiety is the feeling that accompanies the perception of imminent threat or danger. Beck put it like this: Anxiety is like clinging by your fingertips at the edge of a cliff, fearing you will fall at any moment. Depression, in contrast, is more like thinking you have already fallen, and you are at the bottom of the cliff, broken and injured beyond repair. Here are a couple other things that might interest you. When people are depressed, they will also report feelings of anxiety nearly 100% of the time. However, when they are anxious, they will only report feelings of depression about half the time. This is because you can have some type of anxiety, like a phobia such as the fear of heights, or elevators, or flying, but not feel depressed about it. And here is one more tidbit. My research on the beta test data from our Feeling Great App indicates that all seven negative feelings we measure are strongly correlated and go up or down together, which was quite unexpected. The statistical models that simulate the data provide strong evidence for an unknown “Common Cause” that activates all negative emotions simultaneously. We are trying to figure out what that Common Cause might be. It is a bit like “Dark Matter.” Scientists have proven it's existence, but don't yet know what it is. And this unknown Dark Matter represents 95% of the matter in the universe. The statistical models also provide strong evidence that the Feeling Great App helps people because of its strong causal impact on this unknown “Common Cause.” Would love to include this an Ask David in a podcast. Would it be okay? Warmly, david Aaron replies Hi Dr. Burns, I would be honored if you used my question in your podcast. Please let me know when that podcast is posted! I would love to watch it. In the email you sent, are you saying that one theory is that people just cannot accurately define what they are feeling? David replies again Yes, that is one theory, and I have seen that some people, including therapists, have trouble recognizing the names of feelings that their patients are having, based on what the patient says, and also they sometimes have trouble knowing how they are feeling, using “I Feel” Statements. This is, I think, part of what has been called “Emotional Intelligence.” And, just like any skill or talent, there is a great deal of individual difference in “Emotional Intelligence,” and likely some cultural differences as well. I have heard that up until recently, the Chinese did have a word for “depression,” but when a person was appearing depressed, they were kept indoors out of a sense of shame. Thanks! david

Ask David: Getting Off Benzos How Does Music Stir Our Emotions? Combatting Negative Thoughts about the World Treating Schizophrenia with TEAM The Four Feared Fantasy Techniques and more! Questions for today: Mamunur asks: What's the best way to withdraw from benzodiazepines? Gray asks: How does music evoke such powerful emotional reactions? Josh thanks David for techniques that have helped in his personal and professional life. Harold asks: How do you respond to negative thoughts about the world, as opposed to self-criticisms? For example, “The world is filled with so little joy and so much suffering.” Moritz asks: How do you help people with bipolar, schizophrenia, etc.? John expresses gratitude for our answer to his question on Positive Reframing, which triggered an “ah ha moment.” Rhonda asks: What are the four Feared Fantasy Techniques? The answers below were written prior to the podcast. Listen to the podcast for the dialogue among Rhonda, Matt, and David, as much more emerges from the discussions! Mamunur asks: What's the best way to withdraw from benzodiazepines? Ask David, Bangladesh question Dear Sir, I am writing to you from Bangladesh. Your book Feeling Good is a phenomenal work, and it has greatly helped in promoting the development of a healthy mind through logic and reason. Sir, I have a question regarding benzodiazepine withdrawal, which is often prescribed for mental health disorders. Is there a specific CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) approach that can help in withdrawing from benzodiazepines? Your guidance on this would be invaluable, as many people have been taking it for years, either knowingly or unknowingly, without being fully aware of its severe withdrawal effects. Thank you, sir, for your kind contributions to humanity. Sincerely, Mamunur Rahman Senior Lecturer David's reply Dear Mamunur, Thank you for your important question! I am so glad you like my book, Feeling Good, and appreciate your kind comments! As a general rule, slow taper off of benzodiazepines is recommended. This might involve slowly decreasing the dose over a period of several weeks. When I was younger I used to take 0.25 mg of Xanax for sleep, because it was initially promoted as being non-addictive, which was wrong. It is highly addictive. The dose I used was the smallest dose. When I realized that I was “hooked,” I tapered off of it over about a week, and simply put up with the side effects of withdrawal, primarily an increase of anxiety and difficulty sleeping. These disappeared after several weeks. Abrupt withdrawal from high doses of any benzodiazepine can trigger seizures, as I'm sure you know. That is the biggest danger, perhaps. I do recall a published study from years ago conducted at Harvard, I believe at McClean Hospital. The divided two groups of people hooked on Xanax into two groups. Both groups were switched to Klonopin which has a longer “half-life” in the blood and is supposedly a bit easier to withdraw from than Xanax, which goes out of the blood rapidly, causing more sudden and intense withdrawal effects. After this initial phase, both groups continued with slowly tapering off the Klonopin under the guidance of medical experts. However, one of the groups also attended weekly cognitive therapy groups, learning about how to combat the distorted thoughts that trigger negative feelings like anxiety and depression. My memory of the study is that the group receiving cognitive therapy plus drug management did much better. As I recall, 80% of them were able to withdraw successfully. However, the group receiving drug management alone did poorly, with only about 20% achieving withdrawal. My memory of the details may be somewhat faulty, but the main conclusion was clear that the support of the group cognitive therapy greatly enhanced the success of withdrawal from benzodiazepines. I decided early in my career not to prescribe benzodiazepines like Ativan, Valium, Librium, Xanax, and Klonopin for depression or anxiety, because the drug-free methods I and others have developed are very powerful, and the use of benzos can actually make the outcomes worse. Years back, a research colleague from Canada, Henny Westra, PhD, reviewed the world literature on treatment of anxiety with CBT plus benzos and concluded that the benzos did not enhance outcomes. Here is the link: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12214810/. I hope this information is useful and I will include this in a future Feeling Good Podcast.   Gray asks: How does music evoke such powerful emotional reactions? Subject: Re: Podcast question: love songs Hi David, That's a really tough question. Music has a unique way of cutting straight to emotions for me, and it makes it especially hard to identify the thoughts behind them. My best way of explaining is with these two thoughts, which have to be viewed as a pair to get that emotional reaction: My life would be perfect if I had that I'm so far away from that These thoughts don't resonate quite right for me, but it's something like that, going from imagining bliss to crashing to hopelessness within the space of a moment. Thank you so much for your response. Gray David's reply You're right. Music can be so beautiful, especially of course, the songs we love, that it is magical and emotional to listen to! It seems more like a sensory experience, than something mediated by thoughts, but we certainly have perceptions of beauty, etc. Similar with some incredibly delicious food. Creates incredible delight and satisfaction, and no words are necessary other than “delicious!” Sorry I can't give you a better answer to your outstanding question! Best, david   Josh thanks David for techniques that have helped in his personal and professional life. Dear Dr. Burns, I am sure you are swamped with substantive emails and fan mail, but I just wanted to express appreciation to you for all I have gained from your publicly available content. I have learned so much that I have applied in my personal life. I have also benefited tremendously in my work with clients. So much of what you say about anxiety, and especially the hidden emotion technique, has allowed clients to have in almost every session an aha moment. I have not yet been able to see a complete removal of symptoms in one session yet, but as a therapist, I too have many skills yet to improve and much work to do. So, in short, thank you so much for making your experience and wisdom available for free, and thank you for doing it in such an engaging manner. Sincerely, Josh Farkas   David's Reply Thanks, Josh. You are welcome to join our weekly virtual free training group I offer as part of my volunteer work for Stanford, if interested. For more complete change within sessions, a double session (two hours) in my experience is vastly more effective. Is it okay to read your kind note on a podcast? Warmly, david   Harold asks: How do you respond to negative thoughts about the world, as opposed to self-criticisms? For example, “The world is filled with so little joy and so much suffering.” Dear Dr. Burns, First of all, I would like to thank you for all your work and your outreach. Your books have profoundly influenced my thinking and value system. I really admire how you exemplify both scientific rigor and human warmth. Finally, I want to thank you for promoting the idea of “Rejection Practice! I haven't had a breakthrough yet, but some unexpected, very encouraging experiences. I first came across Feeling Good 12 years ago when I developed moderate depression in the context of living with my ex-partner, who probably had borderline personality disorder. I tried the techniques in Feeling Good and also psychotherapy, but unfortunately without much success. I only started feeling a lot better when I began to rebuild my social life and leisure time activities (ballroom dancing, getting involved with a church, ...). Several months later, I also broke up with my ex-girlfriend. Since then, I've had ongoing mild depression. I recently tried the techniques in Feeling Great but wanted to ask you for your opinion on a couple of negative thoughts I'm particularly stuck with. My issue is that I'm normally not attacking myself, but life in general. I keep on telling myself things like "Life is just one crisis after the other," "Life is for the lucky ones," "Really good things just don't want to happen," "Life is so much suffering and so little joy," and the depression itself makes these statements all the more convincing. (Triggering events can be rainy holidays, romantic rejections, grant interview rejections, etc.) I think it could be helpful if in a podcast you could give more examples on resolving negative thoughts attacking life / the world rather than oneself. I also have many more questions for podcasts if you are interested. Thank you for reading this, and thank you so much again for all your work! With very best wishes, Harold   David's Reply Happy to address this on an Ask David, and it would help if you could let me know what negative feelings you have, and how strong they are. I will be answer in a general way, and not engaging you in therapy, which cannot be done in this context. Is that okay? I'm attaching a Daily Mood Log to help organize your thoughts and feelings. Send it back if you can with the Event, Negative Feelings and % Now columns filled out (0-100), and Negative thoughts and belief in each (0-100). You can also fill in the distortion column using abbreviations, like AON for All-or-Nothing, SH for Should Statement or Hidden Should, MF for Mental filtering, DP for Discounting the Positives, and so forth. Thanks! If you were in a session with me, or if we were just friends talking, I would reply to your complaints with the Disarming Technique, Thought and Feeling Empathy, “I Feel” Statements, Stroking, and Inquiry, like this: Harold: “Life is so much suffering and so little joy." David: “I'm sad to hear you say that, but you're right. There's an enormous amount of suffering in the world, like the horrible wars in Ukraine and in the Mid-East. (I feel; Disarming Technique) It makes sense that you'd be upset, and have all kinds of feelings, even anger since there's so much cruelty, too. (Feeling Empathy) And even people who appear positive and joyful often have inner sadness and loneliness that they are hiding. (Disarming Technique) Your comment tells me a great deal about your core values on honesty and compassion for others. (Stroking) Can you tell me more about the suffering that you've seen that has saddened you the most, and how you feel inside? (Inquiry) But I'm mainly interested in you right now. Can you tell me more about YOUR suffering, and especially if there's some problem you might want some help with? (Inquiry; Changing the Focus) I would continue this strategy until you gave me an A on Empathy, and then I would go on to the A of TEAM (Assessing Resistance), and ask what kind of help, if any, you'd be look for in today's session. I might also use a paradox, like the Acid Test. If you wanted to reduce some of your negative feelings, I might try a variety of techniques, such as “How Many Minutes?” I'd also think about the Hidden Emotion Technique. Is there some problem in your life right now that you're not dealing with, so you instead obsess about the problems in the world to distract yourself? I would continue this strategy until you gave me an A on Empathy, and then I would go on to the A of TEAM (Assessing Resistance), and ask what kind of help, if any, you'd be look for in today's session. I might also use a paradox, like the Acid Test. If you wanted to reduce some of your negative feelings, I might try a variety of techniques, such as “How Many Minutes?” I'd also think about the Hidden Emotion Technique. Is there some problem in your life right now that you're not dealing with, so you instead obsess about the problems in the world to distract yourself? I ask this because your negative thoughts are very general, but I always focus only on specifics, specific problems and moments. What's has been going on with your parents or in the past or present that you are distressed about? I've found that when I (or my patients) solve one specific problem that's bugging me, everything seems to suddenly brighten up. For example, you wrote : “I asked someone out I like; she surprisingly said yes. After 10 days of not hearing from her, I messaged her, . . . “ I wrote a book about dating, Intimate Connections, because I was a nurd and had a lot to learn about dating. One idea is that waiting 10 days might not be a good idea to arrange the specifics of the date, as that might make her feel uneasy. There's a lot to learn about dating, for example. A tool like the Pleasure Predicting Sheet can sometimes help, too. And finally, a good therapist can also often speed things up. Sometimes two heads are better than one. You seem extremely smart and willing to work hard, so there's all kinds of room for growth, learning, and greater joy. The Feeling Great App is NOT therapy, but the tools there might also be helpful, especially since you are willing to work hard a do a lot. That's super important. Can I use this email in my reply in the show notes if we discuss your excellent questions? And should I change your name to Harold? Warmly, david Best, david     Moritz asks: How do you help people with bipolar, schizophrenia, etc.? Hi David, You have mentioned a few times that there are only a handful of "real" psychological disorders with known causes, as opposed to just a collection of symptoms. Could you please tell a bit about how you would go about helping somebody with one of the "real" disorders (like Schizophrenia or Bipolar) using TEAM therapy? Most of the episodes with personal work seem to fall into the other category (anxiety, depression, compulsive behavior), so I'd be really curious about some examples. Best regards, Moritz Lenz   David's Reply Hi Moritz, Thanks! Good question, and happy to address this on an Ask David. Here's the answer in a nutshell. When working with someone with schizophrenia, the goal is to help them develop greater happiness and interpersonal functioning, exactly the same as with anyone else, using TEAM. The goal is not to cure schizophrenia, because we still do not know the cause and there is no cure. But we can help individuals with schizophrenia with problems that they are having. Bipolar: in the manic phase, usually strong meds are indicated, and often at least one hospitalization. For the rest of their lives, including depression, TEAM works great. Can add more in the podcast. Best, david   John expresses gratitude for answer his question on Positive Reframing, which triggered an “ah ha moment.” Hi David and Rhonda! I have listened to Episode 415 and your response to my positive reframing question! I had a bit of a aha moment! I think I had been approaching it in the cheerleading sense and trying to encourage myself with these positive qualities rather than attaching the positives to the negative thoughts and feelings themselves! This has created a much stronger emotional response during the positive reframing section! The building up of the negative thoughts and feelings is a gamechanger! Thanks so much for the time and attention given to it during the podcast. Thanks so much again, I appreciate you folks way more than you could know! John David's Reply Thanks, Rhonda and John. Yes, you've pointed out a huge error many people make when trying to grasp positive reframing. If it is okay, we can include your comment in a future podcast. Warmly, david   Rhonda asks about the four Feared Fantasy Techniques: David's Reply Here are the four Feared Fantasy Techniques Approval Addiction / Perceived Perfectionism: “I judge you.” Achievement Addiction: “High School Reunion.” Love Addiction: Rejection Feared Fantasy Submissiveness: No Practice There are quite a number of additional role plays, too, as you know. Maybe a question about all the role plays, bc we all have: Self-Critical Thoughts: Paradoxical and Straightforward Double Standard Externalization of Voices Uncovering Techniques Man from Mars Tempting Thoughts Devil's Advocate Technique Tic-Tok Technique Resistance Externalization of Resistance How Many Minutes? Five Secrets / Relationship Conflict Intimacy Exercise One Minute-Drill I'll bet you can think of more, too! This is one of the unique features of TEAM, but for whatever reason it seems like few therapists use them. As you know, on average they tend to be way more potent and emotional, and of course fast impact. Warmly, david

Ask David How Can I Change an SDB (Self-Defeating Belief)? How Can I Cope with Intense Public Speaking Anxiety? Featuring Rhonda Barovsky, Psy.D., Matthew May, MD, Jason Meno and David Burns, MD (Jason is an AI Scientist on our Feeling Great App Team) Anonymous asks: How can I change an SDB (Self-Defeating Belief)? Hiranmay asks: How can I deal with my intense anxiety before public speaking. Answers to Your Questions Note: These answers below were written BEFORE the podcast, and the live discussion always adds new and different angles. Today, Jason Meno, our beloved AI guy on our app team, also chimes in on the many super questions submitted by Andrew (#3 - #10.) 1. Anonymous asks: How can I change an SDB? Dear Dr. Burns, I'm an avid listener of the Feeling Good podcast and for the past few weeks, an avid user of the Feeling Great app. Thank you for your incredible work and dedication to making people everywhere feel better about themselves. I have a question about self-defeating beliefs that I'm hoping you can address, either on the show or on your website. You have mentioned on several occasions that SDBs are the root cause of negative thoughts and consequently of negative feelings. Yet, to me it doesn't feel like SDBs are really addressed enough on the podcast. There seem to only be a handful of episodes covering the topic. It also seems there is a very limited toolbox of methods to use on SDBs, almost like dealing with them is considered an afterthought. If SDBs really are the cause of it all, shouldn't the primary focus be on defeating them first and only then, on defeating negative thoughts? I'm just a little bit lost when it comes to defeating SDBs, which seem to be way harder to deal with than negative thoughts. Any insights or thoughts on the subject will be greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Anonymous David's reply Dear Anonymous, Will start a new Ask David with your excellent question. Thanks, david First, you can look up Self-Defeating Beliefs in the search function on my website, and you'll find many great examples. Here's what I got just from "Self-Defeating Belief." You could also search for a specific type, like Perfectionism, Perceived Perfectionism, Achievement Addiction, Love Addiction, Approval Addiction, Submissiveness, etc. In general, there are two approaches to any SDB. Four approaches can be used in this order: Do a Cost-Benefit Analysis of the SDB. If Disadvantages outweigh Advantages, use Semantic Technique to modify the SDB. Do an experiment to see if the SDB is actually valid. Use the Feared Fantasy Technique to put the lie to the SDB at the gut level. Here's our latest thinking, which is a step beyond the four steps above. Do a Daily Mood Log on one specific moment when you were struggling with your SDB. We will discuss these ideas in greater depth on the show, of course! You can also find a great deal on SDBs in my books, like Feeling Good, the Feeling Good Handbook, and more. But right now, I don't even know what SDB you might want help with / more information about. Also, in the Feeling Great App, there's a terrific class called "Your PhD in Shoulds." It includes a lesson on perfectionism. 2. Hiranmay asks: How can I deal with my intense anxiety before public speaking without working on the negative thoughts I have afterwards, like “I am going to mess this up” “People are going to notice something obviously wrong in my presentation that I missed, and I will look like a fool.“ “This talk is important, it must go well! Here's his email: Dear Dr. Burns, I love your books and the feeling good podcast. They have made such a huge difference in my life (in a good way of course). I have an “ask David” question on acute anxiety: If I have to play a badminton match or give a presentation, I usually get some or a lot of anxiety the day before the big event as well as the morning of. I then use all the methods you have taught, and the anxiety reduces. However, it usually comes back with a bang just before I give the talk or play a match. Cognitive techniques are not very helpful to me 30 minutes or 5 minutes before the presentation or match. I don't have the time to sit down and write my thoughts or cannot focus at all on my thoughts. Are there any strategies to reduce this form of acute “relapse” or nerves. Here are some more details: Event: 30 minutes before my presentation. I just entered the seminar room, and the first speaker is about to start their talk. I am next. I can feel my heart starting to pound and I am getting the familiar sense of anxiety and nerves. Thoughts: “I am going to mess this up”. “People are going to notice something obviously wrong in my presentation that I missed, and I will look like a fool“. “This talk is important, it must go well”. Although to be honest, this is my analysis of what my thoughts were after the fact. 5-15 minutes before the presentation, I usually just notice my thoughts racing. To reiterate: I am not looking for help with working on these thoughts after the presentation. Any strategies to acutely deal with anxiety or rather relapse of anxiety when I don't have time to use all the wonderful TEAM tools would be very helpful. Thanks so much. Best, Hiranmay (pronounced he-run-may) living in Basel, Switzerland. David's Reply Sure, as a starting point I'd like to see your work with these thoughts on a Daily Mood Log. Do you have one that you could send me, with the percents filled in, etc. That will allow me to see what your strategies are on challenging these thoughts, and whether you can knock them out of the park, or only challenge them “somewhat.” Best, david You can see Hiranmay's excellent DML if you check here. David Continues Hi Hiranmay, It sounds like are not interested in help with the thoughts you recorded in your email below, since this, by definition, is “after the presentation.” If you like, you could perhaps “make up” some thoughts you might be having BEFORE you start to speak. As someone who has had, and recovered from crippling public speaking anxiety, I have tons of powerful techniques, but would need some help from you so I'll have something to go on. By the way, I absolutely DO NOT BELIEVE you when you say those are not the thoughts you are having in the minutes before you begin to speak! So, your requirement that we are not allowed to work on them is a bit of a hindrance. As an aside, I will include this in an Ask David podcast, if that is okay! Sincerely, david I asked H to send me a copy of his Daily Mood Log, which was really well done, and responded with a few suggestions. Then I sent this note: David's Subsequent Response One thing I noticed on your Daily Mood Log is your fear of making a mistake, or having a critical question from someone in the group, or not being able to impress your audience sufficiently. These fears are common in public speaking anxiety. We've all struggled with them at one time or another, I think!  I have changed my focus from needing to impress the audience with myself or my talk, and instead I try to remember to try to impress them with themselves, and how awesome they are. Here's an example. I once gave a presentation on the serotonin theory of depression for about 1,000 psychiatrists at a prominent medical school in Texas. It was going well and suddenly a man at the rear stood up and started shouting something like this: “I'm so sick of all you establishment researchers thinking you know so much and ignoring my work. I have discovered the cause and cure for depression in my laboratory. (He claimed it was some kind of vitamin deficiency.) But everyone is ignoring my work (and more ranting and raving.) There was a chilled silence in the room. Here's how I responded: “I appreciate was you're saying, and I agree. I think our current focus on deficiencies in brain serotonin is extremely misguided, and predict, as you say, that research will show that the chemical imbalance theory of depression is not valid. And often, the most important breakthroughs come from laboratories like yours, where someone who is unknown discovers the actual cause of an illness after being ignored for years and years. I'd be honored if you'd approach me at the end of my talk so I can learn more about your pioneering research!” Notice I did not defend myself, but tried to make HIM feel good. At the end of my talk, about 20 or more people came crowding up to the podium with questions and such. I saw him at the back of the group, pushing his way to the front. I braced for another attack. He said, “Dr. Burns, that was the best presentation I've ever heard by far on the serotonin theory of depression. If you would give me permission, I would love to show your slides to my students and colleagues!” I have very little fear of being attacked by people in the audience, and I now speak all the time in front of groups. I used to have paralyzing public speaking anxiety. But the monsters I feared were all in my brain! Warmly, david   Andrew asks 8 cool questions! (#3 - #10) which are listed below, along with my answers. Jason Meno also sent some awesome answers, which you'll find below as well, right after my answers to the 8 questions.  

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.  Question 1: How do I get back to being happy with so much violence and negativity swirling around in the news and in the world? No matter what has been going on in my life, I have always tended to be happy and optimistic, but recently it feels like everything seems pretty bleak in the world and it is bringing me down. I truly don't have any reason to be unhappy- I am part of a magic 10% marriage, I have a good job and great friends and make good money, and truly, want for nothing, but I am fighting feeling sad and anxious about everything going on around me even though I don't watch the news and am not on social media. Question 2: Dear Dr. Lisle, I'm a 25 year old woman and I am unmotivated, have no career, no passions or purpose in life because my family is extremely rich. I am set to inherit a ton of money (tens of millions of dollars) from my parents, so basically I am set for life if I do absolutely nothing for the rest of my life. I didn't go to college because I knew I was going to inherit all this money and I didn't think it was worth it. Now, I literally don't know what to do with my life. Other people need to work to live. I have more money than they will ever make in their lifetime and I didn't even do anything to earn it. My parents tell me to do whatever I want because I'll be rich anyway. I'm embarrassed to date because I have no interesting personality characteristics; I have no career, I'm unmotivated, no passions, no purpose in life. I'm just a spoiled rich girl who inherited daddy's money, who's going to love me for who I am? How am I going to spend the next 50 years of my life? I feel unmotivated to do anything because I'm already rich but then I feel guilty for having nothing to offer to the world. What should I do?   Intro 0:00 Question #1: 0:55 Dr. Lisle answers: 1:44 A threshold has been reached 41:53 Understand economics 42:10 Question #2: 46:52 Dr. Lisle answers: 47:55 Outro 1:08:40   Follow us: YouTube: @beatyourgenes X: @beatyourgenes Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use   Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast  

This week we received an ugly piece of fan mail and boy, do we have a response! We discuss all kinds of summer activities including when we became lifeguards!

The doctor is in! But Dr. Madi is not a medical doctor, she's more a doctor in the sense that Dr. Laura is a doctor. So...not at all. But you guys submitted your needs and I'm here to answer! This week I dole out some (hopefully semi-helpful) advice and discuss things like weight shame, divorce, and male validation. You know, my fav topics. Enjoy! Love you! TODAY'S SPONSORS:RITUAL: For a limited time go to RITUAL.COM/BROADCAST to get 25% off of your first month! //SHIPSTATION: Go to SHIPSTATION.COM, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and enter code BAD to get a 60-day free trial. //SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD to get 10% off! //OUAI: Get 15% off any product when you go to THEOUAI.COM and use the code BAD at checkout! //Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The doctor is in! But Dr. Madi is not a medical doctor, she's more a doctor in the sense that Dr. Laura is a doctor. So...not at all. But you guys submitted your needs and I'm here to answer! This week I dole out some (hopefully semi-helpful) advice and discuss things like weight shame, divorce, and male validation. You know, my fav topics. Enjoy! Love you! TODAY'S SPONSORS:RITUAL: For a limited time go to RITUAL.COM/BROADCAST to get 25% off of your first month! //SHIPSTATION: Go to SHIPSTATION.COM, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and enter code BAD to get a 60-day free trial. //SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD to get 10% off! //OUAI: Get 15% off any product when you go to THEOUAI.COM and use the code BAD at checkout! //Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Dear Dr. Mama, we dive into the complexities of single motherhood, exploring the pervasive feelings of fear and anxiety that often accompany this journey. Join us as we uncover the physiological and psychological aspects of fear, drawing insights from expert Brittany Jackson, Lpc's professional and personal experiences. We'll discuss the unique challenges single mothers face, offer coping strategies, and highlight the importance of building a strong support network. With special guest interviews and thought-provoking discussions, this episode aims to empower single mothers to conquer fear and anxiety, reminding them that they are not alone in their journey. Tune in for heartfelt conversations and practical advice on navigating the ups and downs of single motherhood. You can contact Brittany on IG @itsbrittanyandrea https://tr.ee/JwIGCSUXTV

In this thought-provoking episode of Dear Dr. Mama, we dived into the intricate world of friendships and motherhood. Drawing insights from research and literature, we explored the evolution of friendships after becoming a mother, highlighting the challenges of maintaining connections amidst the demands of parenthood. We examined the age-old debate of quality versus quantity in friendships, emphasizing the importance of nurturing meaningful connections over simply accumulating a large number of friends. Strategies for fostering deeper friendships, such as active listening and vulnerability, were discussed, offering practical tips for cultivating authentic relationships. The significance of support networks in motherhood was underscored, with a focus on various forms of community, from online forums to local parenting groups. Stories were shared of how these networks provide solace and companionship for mothers navigating the challenges of parenthood, highlighting the transformative power of shared experiences. Lastly, we addressed the inevitable changes and losses that occur in friendships over time, exploring strategies for coping with shifting dynamics and embracing self-compassion and acceptance. Through it all, the importance of prioritizing authentic connections and self-care in motherhood was emphasized, reminding listeners that they are not alone on this journey. Join us for more insightful discussions on motherhood and beyond by subscribing to Dear Dr. Mama and following us on traveling.psychdoc on instagram.

In this thought-provoking episode of Dear Dr. Mama, we dived into the transformative power of presence and the radical act of prioritizing rest for mothers. Drawing inspiration from the book “Rest is Resistance A Manifesto,” by Tricia Hersey, we challenge the societal norms that glorify busyness and productivity, and instead advocate for reclaiming moments of stillness and connection. Join us as we explore mindfulness techniques, practical tips, and personal anecdotes to empower mothers to embrace the power of presence and prioritize rest as an act of rebellion against a culture that devalues their worth. Tune in for a conversation that celebrates the beauty of being fully present and the necessity of rest in nurturing our souls and strengthening our bonds with our children. https://amzn.to/3Ikk8IP

Introduction: In this episode of Dear Dr. Mama, Dr. Alixis explores the unpredictable journey of motherhood, focusing on the theme of “Preparing for the Unexpected.” The objective is to educate, inspire, and provide valuable insights for moms and expecting mothers. Links: Calendar https://amzn.to/3tPAzZR There are several mental health resources specifically designed to support moms. Here are some valuable organizations and platforms: 1. Postpartum Support International (PSI): • Website: https:/www.postpartum.net • PSI provides resources, support, and education for families dealing with perinatal mental health challenges. 2. 2020 Mom: • Website: https://www.2020mom.org • Focused on maternal mental health, 2020 Mom advocates for systemic changes and offers resources for mothers. 3. Motherhood Center: • Website: https:www.motherhoodcenter.com • A center providing support for prenatal and postpartum mental health, including counseling and support groups. 4. Therapy for black girls Website https:/therapyforblackgirls.com Find trusted, culturally competent therapists that know our feelings and can help navigate being a strong, black woman.

"Dear Dr. Sala," wrote a  father well into his 70s, "One of my greatest heartaches is that my children are not living for the Lord.  They were all raised in a Christian home.  In fact, my wife and I have spent most of our lives in the Lord's service, but more than anything else, we would like to see them come back to Him before we die."

Welcome to "Dear HR Diary," the unfiltered truth you wish they taught in management school. This podcast hosted by, ME, Dawn Hart, a seasoned HR and management professional with over 28 years of experience in the corporate world. Join me and some fantastic guests on a thrilling journey through the trenches of human resources and management, where expertise meets snark, sass, and a plethora of captivating stories.Drawing from my extensive background in various industries, I will bring you a unique perspective on the challenges and triumphs of the workplace. Each episode is a rollercoaster ride filled with humorous anecdotes, jaw-dropping tales, and invaluable insights. Whether you're an HR professional, a manager trying to decode the complexities of office dynamics, or simply someone who appreciates a good story, this podcast is your go-to destination.I love to apply my wealth of experience and some valuable tips to the "Dear HR Diary" podcast by diving deep into the nitty-gritty of HR, revealing the human side of human resources and the managing side of managing people. Expect laughter, enlightenment, and a healthy dose of snark and sass. Subscribe now and tune in to uncover the secrets, strategies, and scandals of the corporate world, all narrated with my fun, and sassy signature style. Your weekly dose of HR and management brilliance awaits!Support the showConnect with Dawn:Website: www.managewithhart.comInstagram: @managewithhart

"Dear Dr. Sala, where was God when my dream died?  I thought I could trust Him.  Now I'm not sure!"  No, you were not the one who wrote those words, but chances are those thoughts have at some time or another risen from your troubled heart, whether you voiced them aloud or just thought them.

Another episode STUFFED with important info - like Trader Joe's pumpkin products & Taylor Swift news. Of course, I try to throw in some actual advice with a hefty Dear Dr. Madi segment. Basically we do it all this episode! Enjoy! TODAY'S SPONSORS:DOOR DASH: Get 50% off of your first order when you download the app and use the code BAD //AMIKA: Go to LOVEAMIKA.COM/BAD to shop all my faves and to get 20% off your order. Discount automatically applied at checkout and cannot be combined with other offers. // SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, use the code BAD for 10% off! //QUINCE: Get free shipping and 365 returns when you go to QUINCE.COM/BAD //CLEAN SIMPLE EATS: Go to CLEANSIMPLEEATS.COM and use the code BAD at checkout for 20% off your first order! // Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Another episode STUFFED with important info - like Trader Joe's pumpkin products & Taylor Swift news. Of course, I try to throw in some actual advice with a hefty Dear Dr. Madi segment. Basically we do it all this episode! Enjoy! TODAY'S SPONSORS:DOOR DASH: Get 50% off of your first order when you download the app and use the code BAD //AMIKA: Go to LOVEAMIKA.COM/BAD to shop all my faves and to get 20% off your order. Discount automatically applied at checkout and cannot be combined with other offers. // SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, use the code BAD for 10% off! //QUINCE: Get free shipping and 365 returns when you go to QUINCE.COM/BAD //CLEAN SIMPLE EATS: Go to CLEANSIMPLEEATS.COM and use the code BAD at checkout for 20% off your first order! // Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend, "Would you have any suggestions to help people who have reached their eighties and feel they have nothing to live for?  I admit feeling very useless at times.  I am 82, in a wheel chair, and have little energy."

Dr. Shirely answers common questions she gets asked as a plastic surgeon!   Produced by www.oneofoneproductions.com Recorded, mixed, edited and original music by www.23dbproductions.com   Podcast Medical Disclaimer The purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. It is no substitute for professional care by your doctor or your own qualified healthcare professional. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this podcast or in any linked materials. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experience and conclusions, and Dr. Shirley Madhere neither endorses nor opposes any particular opinion discussed in this podcast. The views expressed on this podcast have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice, institution or other entity with which Dr. Shirley Madhere may be affiliated.

"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "I have a question. How come the God of the Old Testament, who allows killing of men, women and children, is so different from the God of the New Testament who says love your enemies? Did God change His mind, or are we talking about two different Gods? There is a big movement…that is saying that they are two different Gods. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts."

"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "when my husband and I get into an argument, he walks away and comes back as though nothing had ever happened. When he has hurt me and never asks for forgiveness, I feel offended and want to withdraw. Do you have any suggestions which might help?"

Six Cool Ask David Questions from Carlos and Greg Carlos asks: 1. Are your tools available in Spanish? 2. Is there any evidence that TEAM can help patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? 3. How do you get patients with BDP to stop jumping from problem to problem? 4. How do you get them to stop endless venting during therapy sessions? Greg asks: 5. What comes first, thoughts or feelings? 6. Can't a genuinely negative or tragic event directly cause negative feelings, without having to have negative thoughts?   Dear Dr. Burns: 1. I would like to use your BMS but I mostly work with patients in Mexico. Has there been any standardization of your tests in any Spanish speaking country? David and Rhonda address this.  You can email Victoria Chicural, who is one of the TEAM-CBT leaders in Mexico (along with Silvina Carla Bucci), at victoriachl@yahoo.com and ask her about access to TEAM-CBT forms that have been translated into Spanish. 2. I am wondering if TEAM has proven to be effective in the treatment of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I use it a lot, but I have found quite a few challenging elements. David describes his published work, indicating an excellent response to TEAM-CBT in patients with BPD. 3. People suffering from BPD usually have trouble prioritizing tasks and activities. The same happens when it comes to setting objectives. Because of their emotion dysregulation, they usually decide to work on one objective, and later on, they sometimes say: "Well, this objective is not THAT important anymore. Let's do another." For them, doing the specificity part can be really challenging because their perspective changes very quickly and they usually go back to the former objective when they're being challenged by a similar situation!!! How do you get them to prioritize objectives and not to switch from one to another so quickly? Or, do you think I could be making a mistake when setting objectives? David describes the strategies he has developed for coping with this type of clinical problem, including the development of his Concept of Self-Help Memo that he required every new patient to fill out prior to their first therapy session. 4. BPD usually come up with a lot of material to the session. They may be facing complex PTSD but also dysfunctionality at work, at school, etc. They want to say everything in a single session even if we have agreed to follow one single objective. Many sessions turn into endless talking without getting anywhere - some of them argue they need to vent out what they feel - but as time goes by, they complain that therapy is not working! How do you deal with a patient who is overwhelmed with numerous factors in a session where you have a previously set objective? David describes the strategies he has developed for coping with this type of clinical problem, Carlos S Bouchanm, Clinical Psychologist David's Response Hi Carlos, I think these would make for excellent Ask David podcast questions. If so, can we use your name and read your questions? I reported on the effectiveness of the forerunner of TEAM in the treatment of BPD is the Journal of Clinical and Consulting Psychology in the 1990s. TEAM was specifically developed for this population, since 28% of my patients in Philadelphia had BPD. In the live podcast, I will address the excellent questions you asked about treating individuals with BPD. Thanks! David From: Greg Hi David, Thanks for everything you do and for the great podcast! I have another couple questions possibly for the “Ask David” segment of the podcast. 5. Can you say some more about automatic thoughts? CBT is based on the idea that we're thinking things that produce feelings, but with an automatic thought it just kind of pops up and is there. It's not like actively, intentionally thinking it. Other schools of thought (for example Somatic Experiencing) posit that feelings from the nervous system occur first and that the thoughts are actually the product of that, which seems to run counter to the CBT view. This has been a little challenging and confusing. David and Rhonda discuss this, including new research on the causal links between emotions and thoughts. 6. How do you apply TEAM CBT to worries about real and true things, like a real diagnosis or a tragic event? It would seem that it's not just one's thoughts about it, but an actual threat or upsetting event causing feelings because that is simply how one would feel about. Maybe the thinking is accurate? This, too, has been particularly challenging and confusing, so I'd love to hear more on this. David and Rhonda discuss how thoughts trigger all of your feelings, even after a genuinely tragic event. Thank You, Greg L. David's Response Thanks, Gary. These are great questions, and perhaps we can address them om an Ask David podcast! There are strong, clear answers that might be interesting or helpful, as nearly everyone has these questions! Best, david Thanks for joining us today! Rhonda, and David

"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "when my husband and I get into an argument, he walks away and comes back as though nothing had ever happened. When he has hurt me and never asks for forgiveness, I feel offended and want to withdraw. Do you have any suggestions which might help?"

"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "when my husband and I get into an argument, he walks away and comes back as though nothing had ever happened. When he has hurt me and never asks for forgiveness, I feel offended and want to withdraw. Do you have any suggestions which might help?"

Listen in as student debt expert and Board Member Dr. Tony Bartels and student debt team member Dr. Rebecca Mears in this next installment of our Student Debt Series. This episode we're going through the current hot list of student debt topics the team is hearing from colleagues and a to-do list of what borrowers need to do now.    Hot List: Did you finish vet school before 2014? - You may have privately-held FFELs.  Consolidate and benefit from the one-time forgiveness count adjustment Do you have loans that have been in repayment longer than you've been using income-driven repayment? - Consolidate and benefit from the one-time forgiveness count adjustment. Are you eligible for PAYE? Are you using PAYE? - Make sure you find out before PAYE is phased out! Did you make any payments before the pandemic forbearance benefits began, March 13, 2020? - Request a refund before the benefits end! Do you know when your income-driven repayment renewal date is? Hint - it's not until sometime after January 2024, at least. Use the My Student Loans tool to see your "Anniversary Date" and start planning your post-forbearance strategy. Married? Have you been filing your taxes separately from your spouse recently because of your student debt? - You can amend recent prior year tax returns from separate to joint! We covered this in a recent Dear Dr. Debt column. Visit with your accountant to see if you can get a refund. Graduating veterinary school in 2023? Congratulations! Did you miss the New Grad Student Loan Repayment Playbook webinar? - Here is a link to the playbook recording, slides, and checklist.   Honorable mentions (coming soon): Most unpaid interest capitalization is going away starting July 1, 2023 One-time forgiveness count adjustments will be applied in 2024 (or sooner if you are due forgiveness) The Supreme Court will rule on the special cancellation benefits this summer Interest and payments are likely starting up later this summer, possibly after August 2023   As always, we want to hear from YOU. Please share your thoughts by sending an email or joining the conversation.   GUEST BIOS: Dr. Tony Bartels Tony Bartels, DVM, MBA graduated in 2012 from the Colorado State University combined MBA/DVM program and is a VIN Foundation Board Member and Student Debt Expert, and an employee of the Veterinary Information Network (VIN). He and his wife, a small-animal internal medicine specialist practicing in Denver, have more than $400,000 in veterinary-school debt that they manage using federal income-driven repayment plans. By necessity (and now obsession), his professional activities include researching and speaking on veterinary-student debt, providing guidance to colleagues on loan-repayment strategies and contributing to VIN Foundation resources. Beyond debt, his professional interests include small- and exotic-animal practice. When he's not staring holes into his colleagues' student-loan data, Tony enjoys fly fishing, ice hockey, camping and exploring Colorado with his wife, Audra, and their two rescued canines, Addi and Maggie.   Dr. Rebecca Mears Rebecca Mears, DVM is from Lexington, KY, where she completed her BS at University of Kentucky. She is a graduate of University of Georgia's College of Veterinary Medicine. While in vet school, she served as the National Business Certificate Director for the Veterinary Business Management Association (VBMA) and as a board member for Vets for Pets and People. During this time she took an active role in wellbeing awareness and access within the veterinary community. Rebecca then worked as an equine general practitioner and is an active AAEP member. In her time away from veterinary medicine, she can be found hiking, baking, and hosting impromptu dance parties. She is passionate about giving back to the profession and improving the lives of veterinarians, pre-vet and vet students.  LINKS AND INFORMATION: Get Student Debt Updates: https://vinfoundation.org/veterinary-student-debt-updates/ VIN Foundation Student Debt Tools: VIN Foundation Student Debt Center: https://vinfoundation.org/studentdebtcenter Check your current student loan servicers and other loan details -- VIN Foundation My Student Loans tool: http://www.vinfoundation.org/mystudentloans Loan Repayment Simulator: https://vinfoundation.org/loansim  VIN Foundation WikiDebt: https://vinfoundation.org/wikidebt Additional links: Personalized student loan Help from VIN and VIN Foundation: https://vinfoundation.org/veterinary-student-loan-debt-help/  Repay Wiser: https://vinfoundation.org/resources/repay-wiser-veterinary-school-debt-loan-repayment/ Borrow Better: https://vinfoundation.org/resources/borrow-better-veterinary-school-loan-debt/  New Grad Student Loan Repayment Playbook: https://vinfoundation.org/resources/veterinary-new-grad-student-loan-repayment-playbook/  Federal Student Aid Data, Consolidation, and Repayment Application: https://studentaid.gov/ New Proposed Regulations Would Transform Income-Driven Repayment by Cutting Undergraduate Loan Payments in Half and Preventing Unpaid Interest Accumulation: https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/new-proposed-regulations-would-transform-income-driven-repayment-cutting-undergraduate-loan-payments-half-and-preventing-unpaid-interest-accumulation  Student Debt Relief Information: https://studentaid.gov/debt-relief-announcement/one-time-cancellation  Department of Education press release (Nov 2022):  https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/biden-harris-administration-continues-fight-student-debt-relief-millions-borrowers-extends-student-loan-repayment-pause  Department of Education press release (April 2022): https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/department-education-announces-actions-fix-longstanding-failures-student-loan-programs  One-time Forgiveness Count Adjustment  https://studentaid.gov/announcements-events/idr-account-adjustment Federal Student Loan Servicers: https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/repayment/servicers Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF): https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/public-service Stay up to date with VIN Foundation updates: https://vinfoundation.org/updates/ VIN Foundation GIVE page to support these programs & tools: https://vinfoundation.org/give Email VIN Foundation: studentdebt@vinfoundation.org   You may learn more about the VIN Foundation, on the website, or join the conversation on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or Twitter.   If you like this podcast, we would appreciate it if you follow and share. As always, we welcome feedback. If you have an idea for a podcast episode, we'd love to hear it!

Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone. Deuteronomy 34:7   "Dear Dr. Sala," wrote a friend, "Would you have any suggestions to help people who have reached their eighties and feel they have nothing to live for? I admit feeling very useless at times. I am 82, in a wheelchair, and have little energy."   In recent days, there has been a graying of society as more and more of us are living longer and longer; and with the years come new challenges. Frankly, every year I hear from more and more people who are struggling with the challenges of ageing. I've done two things, thinking about this issue. First, I've asked again, "What does God say in His Word about this?" Then, I've talked with a number of seniors who are there and asked them what they have found that is helpful, which I can share with you.   The fact is that the number of men and women in their eighties has increased dramatically in the last two decades. Better medicines, better nourishment, and better health care in general have combined to give a lot of seniors more years. Whereas many would have succumbed to illnesses a few years ago, they now often fight back and have years to enjoy, provided they can enjoy them.   Far sooner than we would like to admit, the years turn into decades and we find ourselves doing fewer and fewer things for the first time and more and more things for the last time. How can seniors handle the changes of life? May I suggest the following:   Guideline #1: Come to grips with the fact that you are here by the will of God, not fate or chance. God makes no mistakes and suffers no surprises. Paul wrote, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will..." Never forget, until He calls you, you've got work to do.   Guideline #2: Realize that your true value as a person is dependent on your character and not your productivity. One of the flaws of our thinking, especially as we age, is that we are not worth much unless we are producing. This, of course, runs contrary to everything that the Bible says. It tells us that you are of value and worth, not because of what you do, but because of what you are. Paintings and fine books only become more valuable with age, and so it is with people.   Guideline #3: Accept your lessening strength with grace. "I greet each day as a gift," says Beatrice Cole, at age 90. She says that the last decade, from age 80 to 90, has been the best gift of her life, though she has been alone most of that time except for the company of her pet poodle.      Guideline #4: Force yourself to get out and mix with people. "After I lost Ethel," said Frank Emery, "I forced myself to get out, to travel, to play golf, to be with people. Sitting at home, refusing to reach out to others, only compounds your loneliness."        Guideline #5: Refuse to accept defeat at the hand of yourself. Theologian Dr. Wilbur Smith once wrote, "It's no sin growing old, but it's mighty inconvenient." My wife of 60 years and I recently co-authored a book entitled, Age is Just a Number. Now that we are both in our 80s, it's nice to write about something we have experienced firsthand. As the horses of time gallop down the lessening hills, share your life experiences with those who follow in your footsteps. Your memories will be with them long after you are gone. Indeed. Never forget that age is a matter of the mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Resource Reading: Isaiah 40:1-11                   

Dr. Shirely answers common questions she gets asked as a plastic surgeon!   Produced by www.oneofoneproductions.com Recorded, mixed, edited and original music by www.23dbproductions.com   Podcast Medical Disclaimer The purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. It is no substitute for professional care by your doctor or your own qualified healthcare professional. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this podcast or in any linked materials. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experience and conclusions, and Dr. Shirley Madhere neither endorses nor opposes any particular opinion discussed in this podcast. The views expressed on this podcast have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice, institution or other entity with which Dr. Shirley Madhere may be affiliated.

Dr. Shirely answers common questions she gets asked as a plastic surgeon!   Produced by www.oneofoneproductions.com Recorded, mixed, edited and original music by www.23dbproductions.com   Podcast Medical Disclaimer The purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. It is no substitute for professional care by your doctor or your own qualified healthcare professional. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this podcast or in any linked materials. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experience and conclusions, and Dr. Shirley Madhere neither endorses nor opposes any particular opinion discussed in this podcast. The views expressed on this podcast have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice, institution or other entity with which Dr. Shirley Madhere may be affiliated.

We start this episode with some interesting things worth knowing about your credit card including what your options are when the credit card company raises your interest rate. https://motuscc.com/credit-card-processing/9-interesting-credit-card-facts-and-stats/  No one likes to be scammed or taken for a fool. In fact we keep our antenna up so make sure that doesn't happen. Maybe though, we are being too vigilant. By being so skeptical and wary of situations and opportunities, we may miss out on some very rewarding ones according to Tess Wilkinson-Ryan. She is a University of Pennsylvania law professor and psychologist and author of the book Fool Proof: How Fear of Playing the Sucker Shapes Our Selves and the Social Order--And What We Can Do About It (https://amzn.to/3jMqrfo). Listen as she explains how to put the fear of being taken for a sucker into perspective and feel a lot better for doing so.  Can you name a big project that has ever been finished on time and under-budget? Think about any construction project at home or even any government project to build a road or a bridge. It seems it always takes longer and costs more than was projected. Why is that? Why can't anyone seem to get it right? Well, actually some people can. That is what Bent Flyvbjerg is here to explain. Bent is a professor at Oxford and considered one of the leading experts on topic. He has consulted on over one hundred projects costing $1 billion or more and he is author of the book How Big Things Get Done: The Surprising Factors That Determine the Fate of Every Project, from Home Renovations to Space Exploration and Everything In Between (https://amzn.to/3YxwnHX). Why do kids who grow up in the same family, with the same parents and the same rules often turn out so differently? Listen as I explain one leading psychologist's explanation that should come as good news to parents. Source: Dr. Wes Crenshaw author of the book Dear Dr. Wes: Real Life Advice for Parents of Teens (https://amzn.to/3RIO6dx). PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Visit https://NJM.com/podcast for a quote to see how much you can save on your auto insurance! Dell Technologies' Presidents Day event is here! The savings start now on select sleek XPS laptops and more powered by 12th Gen Intel® Core™ processors. Don't forget special pricing on the latest monitors, docks and accessories, plus free shipping on everything and monthly payment options with Dell Preferred Account.  Just call 877-ASK-DELL for these limited-time Presidents Day deals! With With TurboTax, an expert will do your taxes from start to finish, ensuring your taxes are done right (guaranteed), so you can relax! Feels good to be done with your taxes, doesn't it? Come to TurboTax and don't do your taxes. Visit https://TurboTax.com to learn more. Intuit TurboTax.  Did you know you could reduce the number of unwanted calls & emails with Online Privacy Protection from Discover? - And it's FREE! Just activate it in the Discover App. See terms & learn more at https://Discover.com/Online Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Breakdown: The Brothas discuss Ed Reid's comments about his experience at Bethume-Cookman as the new head coach and whether or not it gives credence to Deion Sanders situation. Coming off Dr. King's day, The Brothas reflect on his legacy and impact on America and whether or not he would be pleased with the progress made since 1968. Plug A Plug: Mount Vernon Records. Pass The Aux: Corey: Don Ready, Battz & Yung Kriss - "Heavenly Poetry 5", Stephen: Boldy James & Cuns - "Foot Prints", Mike: Stormzy - "Sampha's Plea".

"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a listener, "I'm 26 years of age, and at this point in my life, I have such an empty feeling. I'm a member of a Baptist Church (which I haven't been to for at least a month). I'm trying to reach for something but I don't know what!! I'm spiritually weak. Is there a time in our lives when we become stumped--you don't know which way to go? If you are able to answer these questions, please reply."

Stephen Wolfram answers questions from his viewers about the history science and technology as part of an unscripted livestream series, also available on YouTube here: https://wolfr.am/youtube-sw-qa Questions include: Are you familiar with Norbert Wiener's work? Is it relevant to current computer science at all? - Do you have any interesting stories/comments about Frederick P. Brooks? - What did you learn from The Mythical Man Month? (and when did you first read it?) - Dear Dr. Wolfram, what is your opinion on John Backus' lecture from 1977: "Can Programming be Liberated from the von Neumann Style?"? - Was it even one cornerstone for your thinking? - Did general system theory and systems theory die out and why? - Does functional programming count as liberation from von Neumann style? - Do you think scientific software development has a very different development practice? - Are you saying that flowchart descriptions of algorithms and computations originate from systems theory/general systems theory? I always thought that is just a part of modern computer science. - Regarding what you just mentioned about education and teaching programming, what are your thoughts generally on how far our higher level languages are abstracting more and more away from the core metal? Do you worry about future generations of programmers not understanding core fundamentals and that we might come become stunted in terms of coming up with new languages and computing paradigms due to a lack of expertise? - Were you ever involved in the development of a kind of software that you now think might actually be morally questionable in some sense?

In this episode, it is a brief introduction of the expectations or lack there of for Dear Dr. Mama.

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Career Podcasts! “Whether you're on an athletic team, a sales force, or a symphony orchestra, you better be honest about what you think about yourself. What you think about yourself and what you think about all the things that happen day by day, that's what constitutes your confidence.” - Dr. Nate Zinsser This Summer, I'm delighted to offer you our “Summer Pick” series which brings you a selection of the most popular listener favorites from the past few years of shows. Today's episode originally aired as a two-part installment on January 27th and February 3rd, 2022. Hope you enjoy them! Confidence is a character trait that has relatively little to do with what happens to you, but rather it's a function of how you think. Today's Finding Brave guest reveals how you can change your level of confidence, but first you must be aware of certain things. You absolutely can develop confidence for any situation that you care to, and our guest shares the ways that confident performers think differently from the average person in order to do this. ​​Dr. Nate Zinsser is an expert in the psychology of human performance who consults for individuals and organizations seeking a competitive edge. Nate's latest book, The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide for Unshakable Performance, hit shelves January 2022, and has been endorsed by two-time Super Bowl Champion and MVP Eli Manning, bestselling authors Jon Krakauer and Steven Pressfield, and US Olympic Bobsled Head Coach Mike Kohn. Nate was a regular consultant to the Philadelphia Flyers and New York Giants for twelve seasons and has been a keynote speaker for General Electric, Facebook, McDonald's, Staples, UBS, Major League Baseball, the NBA, and many more, as well as a consultant for the FBI Academy, the U.S. Army World Class Athlete Program, (mentoring four Olympic medalists), the U.S. Army Recruiting Command, and the U.S. Army Marksmanship Unit. Since 1992, he has directed a cutting-edge applied sport psychology program at the United States Military Academy's Center for Enhanced Performance, personally conducting over seventeen thousand individual training sessions and seven hundred team training sessions for cadets seeking the mental edge for athletic, academic, and military performance. He also helped launch the highly successful magazine Sports Illustrated for Kids and was presented with an American Library Association award for his 1991 children's book Dear Dr. Psych: A Kid's Guide to Handling Sports Problems. I'm happy to re-air this important mini-series on confidence, to give you the action steps and mindset shifts needed to overcome obstacles that often get in the way of building our self-confidence.  To learn more about today's guest, visit: https://natezinsser.com/  

"Dear Dr. Sala," wrote a friend of Guidelines, "Being raised in the Baptist denomination, I always heard that people who did not meet the biblical requirements of being saved would burn in a literal hell after death and this would be a continuous burning forever and ever.  I still hear this in the church I attend today. But somehow, I can't seem to understand why God would create this so-called eternal barbeque pit.  Once a person is dead and can no longer harm or hurt anyone, does God get some kind of revenge or satisfaction from seeing persons… suffer in burning anguish forever and ever?"

"Dear Dr. Sala," begins a letter from a very discouraged friend of Guidelines, who neither gave his full name nor an address.  Jason tells about a broken home and the heartache he has experienced as his dreams and hopes fell apart.  He says, "Many times before I left, I cried to God and begged him to save my marriage.  What happened?  Where was He?  Why didn't he knock some sense into us?"  He described his ordeal as a long valley through which he was walking and then, thinking about taking his life, asked, "How long are valleys supposed to last?  Would you address the subject of suicide?"

Half-a-million Facebook followers. Hundreds of videos in a series called “The Great Awakening.” Christiane Northrup, the matriarch of New Age women's wellness, warns her followers about fake viruses, and tells them to avoid sex with their vaccinated partners. She stumps alongside QAnon celebrities, shovels campaign contributions to Trump, and dotes over sovereign citizen sheriffs. To ease your symptoms of ascension, she offers bath recipes of alfalfa greens and Dr. Bronner's soap. You can have a good soak and listen to her golden harp. But in this nowhere world, where oh where is Christiane Northrup? Who is she? Is she flesh and blood, or a social media hologram generated by a Louise Hay AI? Is that mansion she broadcasts from a sound stage, or is there real soil and manure and flowers there? Our guests today know Northrup as super-real, because they live in her home state of Maine. Alyce Ornella, Andy O'Brien, and Mooncat have known her as a doctor, an MLM diva, antivax rabble rouser, and QAnon tour promoter. Now, they tell us, another Northrup may be crystallizing on Maine's rocky shore, floating past the lighthouses and over the cranberry bogs on a cloud of essential oils. She's been seen haunting the blueberry patches, wearing a chunky necklace of lobster claws. As Northrup begins to hold revival meetings in Down East churches, and openly fantasize about murdering political enemies, they wonder if she is assuming her ultimate form—as an IRL cult leader.Links:36: Guru Jagat 1 37: Guru Jagat 264: Remembering Guru Jagat 81: Praying for Fire 59: Is Rudolf Steiner Dead Yet? Dear Dr. Northrup Dr. No: Christiane NorthrupRepublican barred from inviting guests into State HouseNaomi Wolf: “Five Freedoms” speech, April 2021.Arise USA rally draws crowds inside, outside Crosby Center Arise USA Meets Maine Stands UpInside the Disastrous Conspiracy Roadshow That Likely Killed a COVID-Denying Ex-CIA AgentMaine Republican compared the governor to Nazi Josef MengeleME state rep compares COVID vaccine mandate to NazismNorthrup boosts Holo-denier Charlie FreakOn John Linnehan, Dominionist 

Our frequent guest Matt Moseley, author of the book Dear Dr. Thompson about Hunter's successful effort to free a Colorado woman from prison after her strange felony murder conviction, helps kick off our parallel podcast we're calling "District-to-District." Based in the District of Columbia and linked with the Garden District of New Orleans (where the HG studio is STILL under construction!), the podcast will look at how the Capital district connects with others. In this installment, Matt joins Curtis and Christopher finally recording live at poolside, and it's all about water. Matt has recently returned from swimming the Sea of Galilee (yes, that one) and is visiting Washington to educate lawmakers about water issues. His efforts were part of an American Rivers lobbing day and he also offers insight into the gonzo world of distance swimming, not to be confused with his other passion: endurance lunching.

"Dear Dr. Sala," wrote an eight-year-old friend, "Is Jesus and God a Christian, or don't they have to be one because they're the God?"  Out of the mouths of babes come some of the most profound issues.  Were Jesus and God "Christians" or "don't they have to be one?"  Our eight-year-old friend is doing some serious thinking, and to be honest with you, that's a tough question to answer, but let me see what I can do.  Let's begin by identifying what "God" we are talking about.  Sometimes we use language and assume that everybody understands, when in reality they are talking about something entirely different. 

In this week's podcast, I answer your question. Q. Dear Dr. Tracy. Every time I try to share something with my partner, he goes and makes it about himself. Recently, I was trying to share about an issue with my sister. He got so heated and upset - we've had frequent conflict about my sister - that I ended up stop asking for the support that I needed. I'm not sure what to do in these moments, but I do know that resentment is building up and it doesn't feel good. - Nicole  In this episode, we discuss: Different ways to approach a conversationRecognizing why your partner might do thisHow to respond at two different times Looking for more: Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quizLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be ConnectedJoin me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationshipVisit my website for more What's Coming Next? I sit down with Dr. Shefali and dive into the world of conscious parenting. 

How do you protect your family from your writing, and your writing from your family? The queens get serious about grief, death, homophobia, and family issues. Dear Dr. Freud!First, some resources:If you're struggling with LGBTQIA+ mental health issues (or want to be an ally for someone who is), visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness website here. It has great resources!Another great resource list for queer and trans BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) can be found here.The Atlantic published an informative essay regarding family estrangement. You can read that here.If you are grieving a loss, GriefShare can provide some resources and support (including finding others who are going through approximate experiences).If you want to be an ally for LGBTQIA+ individuals, try:PFLAG (parents/friends)GLSEN (educators)Straight for Equality has some great workplace tips.them's Trans Voices series on YouTube This article shares 10 ways to be an ally to Black LGBT peopleShow references:Aaron's essay, "The Very Act of Telling: Sharon Olds and Writing Narrative Poetry" can be found online here. In it, Aaron writes: "Recently I saw a news article about a politician in Alabama who is introducing a bill to the legislature with the hopes of removing all public funding from libraries and universities that have books with gay or bisexual characters in them or that promote homosexuality as a valid lifestyle. My first thought was: This is absurd. Just because we aren't talked about doesn't mean that we don't exist. Then it occurred to me: If we aren't talked about, do we really exist?"The correct title of the Lisa Glatt book we reference is Monsters and Other Lovers. James's poem "Pittsburgh" can be found here.Aaron's poem "God Is Not Mocked" can be found here (scroll down) and the poem which his sister denies is true is here. The new book/manuscript of Aaron's that is discussed hast not been published. Please consider purchasing books through an independent bookstore. If you need a good one, we recommend Loyalty Books, a black-owned bookstore in Washington, DC that ships everywhere.

On this episode of Common Mystics Jennifer and Jill discuss a family of renowned doctors from the early 20th century. The Menninger family became giants in the psychiatric community. At a time when the mentally ill had few treatment options, they created an outpatient clinic in Topeka that focused on mental health. But the family standout was Dr. Karl Menninger. After publishing his first book in 1930, he contributed to a widely read advice column in the Ladies Home Journal. In it, he offered his expertise to those who wrote in for advice on topics that included sexuality and relationships. Perhaps Dr. Karl should have heeded his own advice. Listen in as Jennifer and Jill uncover the sordid details surrounding the clinic and the private life of Dr. Karl Menninger. Transcripts of this episode can be found here S2E13_ Transcript Dear Dr. Menninger in Topeka, KS.  Link not working? Find transcripts to our pods and more at https://commonmystics.net/  Thanks for listening! Support us on Patreon and get exclusive bonus content and monthly video calls with Jen & Jill!!! https://www.patreon.com/commonmystics