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On today's show: News; WHO calls for stricter alcohol controls in Czechia amid rising health concern; 50 years since Havel's “Dear Dr. Husák”: How Czech archive keeps memory of Communism alive in 21st century; and our feature, poet and literary editor, Jana Prikryl,
On today's show: News; WHO calls for stricter alcohol controls in Czechia amid rising health concern; 50 years since Havel's “Dear Dr. Husák”: How Czech archive keeps memory of Communism alive in 21st century; and our feature, poet and literary editor, Jana Prikryl,
Dr. Tracy thinks it's okay to go to bed angry. She's also got advice for when your partner feels more like a roommate. The couples therapist has hundreds of thousands of followers. And few of them know she's based in Ottawa. Robyn Bresnahan books an appointment on the therapist's sofa to find out who she is and what her idea of a perfect date night in Ottawa looks like.Thanks to Cloud10 for the use of clips from the podcast 'Dear Dr. Tracy'.
Ask David My friend won't say thank you! Dating Anxiety Religion vs. Psychotherapy We want to remind you about an awesome virtual workshop on habits and addictions that Dr. Jill Levitt and David will be presenting on March 28, 2025 We will feature powerful new paradoxical techniques that will blow your socks off. It will be from 8:30 to 4:30 and you will earn 7 CE credits while having fun and learning how to heal yourself AND you patients. Check it out! It's less than two weeks away, some check it out while you still have time! You'' LOVE it and LEARN a LOT! Registration and More Information Here! As is so often the case, the answers to these questions that appear in the show notes were email replies to the person before the show. To get the full discussion, make sure you listen to the actual podcast, as the answers often evolve in unexpected ways when the “experts” hash it out! Today's episode is chock full of personal stories (some racy), expert Five Secrets advice and demonstration, philosophical / spiritual discussion, and secrets of successful (and racy) dating. 1. Brittany asks: What can I do say to a friend who does not say “thank you” when I pay for our meal or drive a long distance just to see them? 2. Jaydipe asks: How can I get over my anxiety around attractive women? 3. Ali asks: Can religious beliefs cause or intensify feelings of anxiety? (David will talk about the synergies between TEAM CBT and spirituality in all religions. He will also mention the potential antagonisms.) 1. Brittany asks: What can I do say to a friend who does not say “thank you” when I pay for our meal or drive a long distance just to see them. Hello David and Rhonda, I have a friend who typically does not say thank you to me when I pay for a meal out or drive us a long distance. I am someone who always says thank you even if the other person just bought us $10 worth of fast food or gave a short ride. I find myself feeling resentful towards my friend for not saying anything when I pay and drive us around all day. It makes me feel like they don't appreciate it. At the same time, talking about it and sharing my feelings would then feel like I'm asking them to say it, and then it would not feel authentic. I have said something about it in the past, and they were like I'm sorry, thank you. But it didn't mean much at that point. Is this one of those annoying traits I just learn to accept? Thank you, Brittany David's reply Well, you could just use a gentle I Feel statement, which might be paradoxically stronger, but combined with Stroking. Like this, "Jennie, you know I think the world of you, and greatly enjoy our times together, but when I pay for lunch, or drive a distance to hang out with you, you rarely ever say "thank you," and then I feel hurt and unappreciated." Something like that combines Stroking with I Feel and might be effective. But I always rate myself on what I do, or say, and not so much on how the other person reacts. You could, perhaps, also ask if they are upset with you about something that they've had trouble expressing to you. Best, david 2. Jaydipe asks: How can I get over my anxiety around attractive women? Hi David Many thanks for the podcast I'm struggling with social anxiety and talking to attractive women and I've watched all the podcasts relating to it. I think deep down I have a shame around finding women attractive, so I find it difficult to express interest in them. I find that I can talk to them easily during activities like climbing or co workers, but even on dates with women I can't seem to take things forwards playfully like you'd expect on a date. I'm too serious and I think that turns people off. I feel like I'm under the spotlight and I have to impress them otherwise they won't like me. I know this isn't true and I've been trying to get myself to do exposure therapy by asking girls for their numbers and being rejected so it helps with that. Also, I struggle with societal expectations, I hear women say that they don't want to be approached or talked to or anything so I just end up avoiding them because I don't want to annoy them, but it holds me back from getting the sex and relationships I want Any help much appreciated Thanks, Jaydipe David's Reply I have included your excellent question on an upcoming Ask David. In the meantime, have you read my book on dating, Intimate Connections? Best, david PS Should I use your first name, or a fake first name? 3. Ali asks: Can religious beliefs cause or intensify feelings of anxiety? Dear Dr. Burns, After reading your books, I've started to recognize that many of my anxious beliefs seem to have a religious background. For example, in the Bible, there's a verse from John 5:14: “Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, ‘See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.'” Here's where I struggle: I want to live my life freely, which includes things like being with different girls before marriage (something I already do). But according to religion, this is considered adultery and a sin. Another verse that weighs heavily on me is from Matthew 5:27-29: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” I often find myself looking at beautiful women on the street, which Christianity teaches is sinful, and this sometimes leads to feelings of guilt. I wonder: do I need to leave religion altogether to break free from these negative, self-critical thoughts? I also have other related thoughts that seem to link my faith with the good things happening in my life. For instance: My life is going well right now. My parents are alive, my brother is getting married, I'm healthy, and I've been fortunate in many ways. I've had incredible experiences, like participating in two Erasmus+ exchange programs in Poland and Lithuania during university, volunteering in Latvia for a year, and even having my New Zealand visa approved in a highly competitive process (only 100 spots for 85 million people, and the application closed in 5 minutes!). I often think that these blessings are because I believe in Jesus, follow the Bible, and try to live as a good person who avoids sin and doesn't deceive others. But then these anxious thoughts arise: I should always be thankful or pray, or else my life will fall apart. If I leave religion, something bad might happen—my parents could fall ill or pass away, and it would all feel like my fault for turning away from Jesus. Without faith, I'd lose my good fortune(luck), my appearance, and my opportunities. Wherever I apply to would be rejected, then I would understand that it was Jesus in the first place doing all of these things in my life, not me or vice versa! I'd find a terrible job, terrible working environment, terrible mutual relationships. Then everything would be my fault and I'd tell myself I should have believed in him in the first place but now I deserve everything that happens to me! These thoughts are overwhelming, and I'd love to hear your perspective on how to approach and challenge them. Thank you so much for your time and the invaluable insights you share in your work. Warm regards, Ali David's reply Hi Ali, Sorry you are struggling with so many restrictions, judgments, and inhibitions! I can imagine it triggers anxiety, guilt, inadequacy, resentment, discouragement, and more. You can let me know! If you want, I can include this as an Ask David question on a podcast, with your first name, or a fake first name. Let me know if this works for you. Also, what religion are you? I know that many religions around the world can be very fundamentalistic and super strict in their teachings. My own religious upbringing had a touch of rigidity, too. Best, david Ali's response to David Hello again, Actually, my family comes from the Christian (Orthodox-Armenian) minority in Turkey, where I was born and raised. So, I am an Orthodox Christian. You're absolutely right that I struggle with many restrictions and judgments. I'd love for you to include this as an "Ask David" question on a podcast since I haven't seen any episode (and I've listened to most of your recent podcasts, including number 408: Do You Believe in God? Does God Exist?) that addresses this topic. By the way, I already use an alias, so "Ali" is a fake name, but you're welcome to use it in your podcast! Here's a quick DML (Daily Mood Log) to clarify what I'm dealing with: The Upsetting Event: Doing my daily half-hour Bible reading before bed and coming across certain verses. Emotions: Sad: 60% Anxious/Worried: 70% Inadequate: 60% Guilty/Bad: 90% Abandoned: 70% Pessimistic/Discouraged: 80% Stuck: 75% Angry/Resentful: 75% Tricked/Duped: 80% Although I don't consider myself a devout Christian, over the past few years, I've started reading the Bible—the Old and New Testaments. Initially, I read them in my native language, but now I read in English to fully understand the content. Growing up in the church, I believed everything the priest taught. However, encountering some events and stories that seem illogical to me has made me question my beliefs. I often feel tricked and wonder if I've truly believed in all this. At the same time, I feel anxious and worried, as if questioning or criticizing my religion is a betrayal of God. Please let me know if you need any additional information. Ali David's reply Thanks, Ali, this is super. I was also raised in a somewhat strict Christian (Lutheran) home, and as a child had plans to become a minister, like my dad. In college, I learned critical thinking, and began to question some of what I was taught when I was growing up. For example, there seemed to be a bit of a bias against Jews, and my dad said they had to convert to Christianity to be ”saved” and, I guess, avoid going to hell after they died. That didn't sound right at all, not loving, as Christ taught, who was himself a Jew, but hostile and judgmental. And I had good friends who were Jewish, so it felt offensive. Same with people who were gay. A strong bias that this was somehow “bad” and sinful, or something like that. Christianity, in the sense of the Catholic church, was really created by people a couple hundred years after Christ died, and they were reflecting their own human biases when they wrote the new testament and translated the old testaments. For better or worse, I am personally not afraid to disagree with much of what is in the Bible, and interpret it, not literally, but as a series of stories trying to communicate important spiritual truths, but these truths get quite distorted when people began focusing on literal truths, rather than “seeing” the message. Literal translations of religion risk missing the spiritual meaning and truth. This is especially true of the orthodox movement within any religion. This tendency toward being literal, rigid, and judgmental may be a partially inherited, genetic trait. Regardless, to me, it is offensive and ugly, and definitely not religious, but quite the opposite. In the early days, lots of religious cults emerged, and they all had their own special leaders. If your leader couldn't walk on water, that guru was considered inferior. So, it was fashionable to say that your spiritual guru could “walk on water.” What does that really mean? To me, it means that this person is pretty special, and much kinder and more loving than most others, and can perhaps convey some spiritual truths to us. But actual walking on water is a magic trick best left to television and stage magicians. This is my thinking only, and I do not wish to impose my thinking and beliefs on you or on anybody! I had tremendous respect and admiration for a Catholic nun, Sister Shela Flynn, who worked at my clinic in Philadelphia because she wanted to learn how to do CBT. She was humble and wonderful, and once shared with me that she also thought the stories in the bible were primarily metaphors, just stories trying to convey this or that idea about love, humility, and so forth. Not literally true stories you “had to” believe to be a “good Christian.” An, in addition, using my philosophy and CBT training, there is really no such “thing” as a “good Christian.” Positive and negative labels can be useful but can also be hurtful and destructive. Will stop babbling, and feel free to reject or ignore some or everything I am saying! But on an emotional level, I feel hurt, and angry about the literal “rules-based” versions of religion. Because I see, all over the world, atrocities being committed to a massive degree in the name of this or that “religion.” I am most comfortable with Buddhism, but even then, many people take it literally, make up rules, and so forth, just like other religions or spiritual “paths.” For some reason, people love to make up rules and then try to force others to conform to their beliefs and rules. This is due, in large part, to arrogance, and the desire to feel “special” and “superior” to others. These are not, to my way of thinking, spiritual qualities, but quite the opposite. Finally, I do not mention religion in my therapy, which is 100% secular, and based on research and on scientific research on how people actually change. But at the moment of recovery, which often happens in a flash, rather suddenly, the patient often “sees” something of a spiritual nature which they had not seen or grasped before. I have never seen anyone lose their religious beliefs because of effective therapy, but quite the opposite. In fact, what we might call “recovery from depression” (or some other problem) sometimes looks an awful lot like what the religious mystics from all religions have called “enlightenment.” So, that's the sermon my dad would have perhaps wanted me to preach from a pulpit! I guess this is my pulpit, and you are in my congregation! And this Sunday morning here in Los Altos, so that's the end of today's sermon! Best, david Contact information You can sign up for the David and Jill workshop on healthier habits here: cbt-workshop.com
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 0:51 My wife hired an escort but says it wasn't technically cheating! 19:01 I'm going to grad school to find a rich husband, but I'm not that into it 40:38 Scratching the psychological itch to get revenge Question 1: Dear Dr. Lisle, I'm a 38 year old male and I work very long hours in finance. My wife, who is 27, and I have been going through a sort of dead bedroom situation for the past few months because I have been working 16-18 hours a day and sleeping about 4 hours per night. She is a housewife so she stays at home all day. Recently I just found out that my wife has been paying for and meeting with a male escort twice a week for the past three months while I was working. She confirmed that they did sleep together every time they met. She says that this is not technically cheating because she paid for his consent, so basically he didn't want to have sex with her, he just did it for money so this shouldn't count as cheating. She said there are no romantic feelings between them, but she hired the same guy for the past three months so obviously she's attracted to him. Then she tried to blame it on me for working too much and not being there for her. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I feel heartbroken and betrayed. Is she right in saying that hiring an escort doesn't count as cheating? Who is in the wrong here, me for working too much and neglecting her, or her for paying for sex and companionship outside the marriage? I don't know if I should stay with her or not, I love her but I'm furious with her for taking advantage of my good nature and spending thousands of dollars of my hard earned money so she can sleep with someone else. Question 2: Is it wrong to go to grad school with the primary goal of finding a smart, conscientious, potentially rich husband? I'm a second year dental school student, but I'm honestly here mostly to put myself in an environment surrounded by intelligent hardworking men, so I can have something in common with them and make them see me as wife material. I'm also hoping the repeat exposure would help. I am scraping by in school, passing but not too passionate about it as my main goal in life is to be a housewife to a rich husband. I'm just hoping to use the doctorate degree as an accessory to attract these men. Am I wrong in the way I'm thinking? P.S. Otherwise, where would I meet such men, on dating apps? I don't think so. Question 3: Does Dr. Lisle have any strategies for scratching the psychological itch to get revenge when someone has wronged you? Over two years ago, a long term “friend” betrayed me in an undeniable way and never acknowledged it or seemed remorseful. We are no longer friends and don't even talk, but have many mutual friends so he is somewhat in my life. I feel that he owes me a debt and sometimes ruminate about it. I have a near constant underlying feeling that I want him to experience the shock and betrayal that I did, and that I would be willing to facilitate it if I could. I try to put my energy into developing other, more authentic relationships and into healthy living. Is living well actually the best revenge? I am not feeling that yet and would like to serve it cold instead. Any thoughts? X: @BeatYourGenes Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Waking Up Dreading the Day Mother-Daughter Problems Patients Who Are Afraid of Their Feelings Romantic Problems, and More Questions for today: Rose asks: I wake up dreading the day. What can I do?! Maggie integrates TEAM-CBT with prayer and asks for help with mother / daughter issues. Simon asks: “How can we deal with patients who are afrad of their feelings?” Amanda asks: “Help! I have a romantic relationship conflict! What should I do?” Aaron asks: Why are feelings of depression and anxiety correlated? In other words, why do they frequently go hand in hand? The following questions and answers were written prior to the live podcast. Make sure you listen to the podcast to get the full answers, including role-play demonstrations, and so forth. Rose asks: I wake up dreading the day. What can I do?! Hi David, I've been reading your book, "Feeling Good," for help with my anxiety ever since my 100-year-old mom moved in with me. Your techniques are helping, but every morning I wake up anxious, dreading starting my day. Is there a technique to help with this? I really am working to change my thoughts from negative to more positive thanks to you. I look forward to hearing from you. Rose David's reply In my book, Feeling Good, I urge people to write down your negative thoughts, and emphasize that it won't work very well unless you do this. Many people refuse. How about you? What were the thoughts you wrote down when you woke up feeling upset and dreading your day. Could use as an Ask David on a podcast if you like. Best, david Rose wrote: Thanks for your speedy reply. I'm new at this and just started reading the book yesterday, but I will start writing down my thoughts. Thanks for your help. Maggie integrates TEAM-CBT with prayer and asks for help with mother / daughter issues. Dear Dr. Burns, I want to begin by expressing my deep gratitude for your work, which has had a profound impact on my life. Your book Feeling Good: The Workbook helped me overcome a very dark period of depression after being diagnosed with infertility. It truly transformed my mental health, and I continue to rely on your techniques—especially your list of cognitive distortions, which I use often to stay grounded. Your podcast has also been a great resource for me, and I've noticed recent episodes touching on the self and spirituality, which caught my attention in a special way. I felt compelled to share something personal with you. While your methods gave me the tools to change my thinking, I also found solace and strength through my faith. Prayer was an essential part of my healing process, and for me, it provided something beyond my own power. In moments when I felt I couldn't make it through on my own, the belief that there is a God I can turn to brought me peace and comfort. Both your work and my faith were crucial in my journey. Your research and teachings helped me take control of my thoughts, but my relationship with God gave me hope when I needed it most. I believe that the combination of these two—your scientifically backed methods and the power of prayer—made a tremendous difference in my recovery. I'm also excited about your app, but as someone living in Honduras, I was unable to download it. I would love to know if there are plans to make it available outside the U.S. in the near future, as it would be an incredible resource for me and others in similar situations. Lastly, can I make a suggestion for a podcast subject? Mother daughter issues. I really need help in this area of my life. Thank you for your dedication to helping others. I hope that sharing my experience offers some insight into how both your studies and faith in something greater can bring peace and healing. With gratitude, Maggie David's reply Thanks, and we'd love to read part of your beautiful note, with or without your correct first name, on a podcast. If you can give me a more specific example of the mother daughter issue you want help with, it would make it much easier to respond in a sensible way! Warmly, david Maggie responded Dear Dr. Burns, Thank you so much for your thoughtful response and for asking me to clarify my suggestion regarding mother-daughter issues. I deeply love my mother, and I know she means well, but our relationship has become increasingly challenging as she gets older. One of the major difficulties I face is her tendency to offer passive-aggressive criticism, which leaves me feeling undermined. I've always known her to be this way—she was never very affectionate, and I've gotten used to that. However, lately, it feels like it's getting worse. She's hard of hearing, even with a hearing aid, and often adopts a “my way or the highway” attitude, which makes conversations with her exhausting. Simple moments where I hope to share something exciting are often met with dismissive or critical remarks. Here are three examples of the kind of interactions that affect me: I recently purchased tickets for a trip to Australia with friends, and her response was to ridicule my choice, saying that Spain or Italy is a much more beautiful destination. I had just bought the tickets, and all I wanted was for her to share in my excitement. I sent her a picture of a new piece of art I was excited about, and her immediate reaction was, “I liked the other one better. That one doesn't match the color of the walls.” As I was about to leave for a party with my husband, she commented, “Don't you think you're wearing too much makeup?” These kinds of remarks constantly make me feel inadequate, and it's emotionally draining. As a result, I've found myself avoiding calling or visiting her. However, this leads to feelings of guilt, especially because I love my father very much, I enjoy his peaceful company and wise conversation and advice, and not visiting them also affects my relationship with him. What I struggle with most is that I know I might regret not spending enough time with her as she gets older, even though she isn't sick or dying. I just don't know how to manage the criticism without feeling constantly undermined, and I'd appreciate any advice you might offer on how to navigate this dynamic while preserving my sense of self-worth. Thank you again for your time and for the incredible impact your work has had on my life. With gratitude, Maggie David's reply I notice you're pointing the finger of blame at her. If you want to shift things, it can be helpful to examine your role. I'm attaching a copy of the Relationship Journal. Please do three of these, one for each example below. You already have half of Step 1—what, exactly, did she say. To complete Step 1, circle all the feelings you think she may have been feeling. Then complete Steps 2 and 3, which should be fairly easy. Then I can take a look, and we'll see what we can figure out, if you'd like. Also, this will not be therapy, but general teaching. LMK if that's okay. Best, david Here are the three examples she provided, along with how she responded to her mom: Three Maggie examples of interactions with her mother (Ask David podcast) #1 Mom said: Dear, I would never have thought of Australia as a destination. I would much rather fly to Italy or Spain, filled with culture, art, and great food. Sydney would be the LAST place I'd want to visit! I replied: Well, mom, we've already been to those places, and we love a great adventure, and we're really excited by the outdoors. #2 Just as we were about to leave, Mom said: “Don't you think you're wearing too much make up?” I replied: I probably am, I didn't notice (and rushed immediately to my room to remove it.) #3 I share a piece of art I brought home, and Mom said: “I liked the one you had before. It matched the walls much better than this one. Why did you change it? Who is the artist?” I replied: “Well, we have to like it because it's the only wall in the house where it will fit, so we're just going to have to live with it.” Simon asks: “How can we deal with patients who are afraid of their feelings?” Dear Dr. David Burns, Hi, my name is Simon and I'm a clinical psychologist from Chile, sorry if my English is kind of broken, it isn't my first language. First of all, I want to tell you how grateful I am for your great work and all the knowledge you give to the general public for free. Of course I also must praise the work of the entire team working at the podcast (which I am the biggest fan from my country). I hope one day I can be a certified team cbt therapist myself in the future, but that would be a different story. I think the world needs more people with such a love for mental health and I hope I can continue to listen to your content for more years to come. Today I wanted to ask you guys some questions related to feelings. I have applied some techniques to myself and my patients and it's really mind blowing noticing how effective they are. Nevertheless, I still have one patient who struggles with accepting or permitting himself to feel his feelings. He is grieving the loss of his father and he is very good convincing me that if he does feel his sadness or anxiety (as I suggested him), he may go crazy and commit suicide. He reports good empathy from me, but I'm afraid that he may be too nice to criticize me. So, I ask for your opinion: How can we deal with patients who are afraid of their feelings? How can we build a solid relationship with our patients regarding this subject so they can finally vent these feelings? Thank you all for all the hard work and have a great day! With Love, Simon David's answer Hi Simone, Thanks for your kind words, and may want to use your question on an Ask David. LMK if that's okay. Here's the quick answer. It sounds like venting feelings is your agenda. Nearly all therapeutic failure comes from well-intentioned therapists who try to “help” or “rescue” the patient. I get the best results working on the things my patients want help with. Rhonda has a free weekly group on Wednesdays at mid-morning, and I have a free weekly training group at Stanford on Tuesday evenings (5 to 7 PM California time.) You'd be welcome to join either. Best, david Amanda asks: “Help! I have a romantic relationship conflict! What should I do?” Hi Dr Burns! Firstly, I would like to thank you for your tremendous work and heart to help people who are suffering from depression & anxiety around the world. I found your book in 2021 through a YouTube video you did with Tom Bilyeu and the rest was history. I went down to our local bookstore to get Feeling Good and I was reading it everywhere I went. It saved my life and cured my anxiety! Every time I hit a roadblock, I will go back to the book and try the techniques. I also love the podcasts as they have been very helpful for me. Shoutout to Rhonda and Dr Matt May too! I currently face an issue and would like to submit it as a question for Ask David series. Please address me as Amanda. I am in a stable and committed relationship (for 8 years) but am facing issues with my boyfriend which causes resentment between us. Meanwhile, a friend pursued me despite knowing that I am in a relationship. He told me during a meetup that he felt attracted to me and asked if I will choose him if I am single. I was attracted to this guy as he is confident, funny and carefree, which are qualities that I desire and find lacking in myself. I like him but I know that he is not a good match for me because of his actions and behaviour. The actions seemed manipulative and reflected some narcissistic tendencies. At the start, he would text me frequently then the messages became short when I declined to meet up on a 1-1 basis with him as I want to protect my own relationship. He would drop me a short message every week, using intermittent reinforcement, to ask me how I am doing and then asked if we could meet up for a meal. Example 1: Guy-"Lunch?" Me-"Ok if it's with the group." Guy-"Ok." End of communication. Example 2: Guy-"How are you recently?" Me- "I am feeling better, thanks for checking in!" Guy- "Thumbs up emoji" End of conversation. If I initiate a meetup to run errands or for a meal, he would accept it readily. In a way, there is only communication and interaction when we meet up and I know this is not a healthy interaction or something that I want. Fast forward, I ignored him and he is in a relationship now but our dynamics remain the same. If I reached out to him for a meal, he would respond and behave in a caring way when we met. He offered to buy food for me when I was sick and find ways to continue to meet up. I feel that this guy is just trying to get me as it gives him an ego boost (and thrill) that I care for him even though I am in a committed relationship. In our last meetup recently, I made sure to record how I felt and noticed that the satisfaction level has gone down to about 60% as compared to previously when I was eager to meet him. I would like to reduce it to 10% or even 0%. I also recorded my satisfaction level when I did things alone or with my boyfriend. I realized that my satisfaction/pleasure level is higher and more consistent when I do things that I set out to do on my own and there are times it is enhanced/lowered when I spend time with my boyfriend. Using the daily mood log, the upsetting event is: I will ignore this friend for a period of time then I will go back to the same communication and meetup with him. Then, I'm stuck in the same dynamic again. My negative thoughts are: I will never be able to get out of this. I am doomed. I have no power or control, he has all the power. People always take advantage of me because I'm weak. I am a loser because I keep going back. I will never be happy again since I cannot overcome this. Things will be as such. This chapter will leave a mark on my life and I will be miserable. I am a horrible person for allowing myself to fall for someone while being in a relationship. I have been re-reading the chapter in Feeling Good on love addiction and spending more time with myself to build a relationship with myself so that I can be happy alone. I am also using the cost benefit analysis to melt my own resistance so that I do not go back but I do not seem to be able to totally defeat the negative thoughts above. I hope to receive some guidance related to this on the podcast if possible. Thank you so much! Love, Amanda David's Reply Hi Amanda, Thanks so much. There are many paths forward, but one thing that might help would be to use the Decision Making Tool since you seem to be unclear on what you want to do. That might be a good first step, or next step. You can download it from the bottom of the home page of my website, feelinggood.com. I can understand your negative feelings and confusion and self-doubt, anxiety, discouragement, frustration. I'm just speculating. There are many ways to challenge your thoughts, but some good positive reframing might help before trying to challenge them, so you could check out your goals for each negative emotion. Including a recent Daily Mood Log, in case you don't have one. All the best, david PS What you are doing all makes good sense, developing a relationship with yourself, doing a cba, etc., Kudos! In addition, the “25 things I'm looking for in an ideal mate” tool in Intimate Connections might also be helpful. Aaron asks: Why are feelings of depression and anxiety correlated? In other words, why do they frequently go hand in hand? Hi Dr. Burns, I am rereading When Panic Attacks, this has lead to a question. In the book you mention that one theory about why people have both anxiety and depression is that they "can't distinguish different kinds of emotions." Can you expand on this to help me better understand what this means? My interpretation now has me thinking that people are just saying they are depressed and anxious because they don't understand what each word for the emotions means. Thank you for your help, Aaron W. California---LMSW (Idaho) David's reply David D. Burns, MD Sure, but that is not my thinking, just a common theory that of course deserves respectful consideration and testing. To me, depression is the feeling that accompanies loss, and anxiety is the feeling that accompanies the perception of imminent threat or danger. Beck put it like this: Anxiety is like clinging by your fingertips at the edge of a cliff, fearing you will fall at any moment. Depression, in contrast, is more like thinking you have already fallen, and you are at the bottom of the cliff, broken and injured beyond repair. Here are a couple other things that might interest you. When people are depressed, they will also report feelings of anxiety nearly 100% of the time. However, when they are anxious, they will only report feelings of depression about half the time. This is because you can have some type of anxiety, like a phobia such as the fear of heights, or elevators, or flying, but not feel depressed about it. And here is one more tidbit. My research on the beta test data from our Feeling Great App indicates that all seven negative feelings we measure are strongly correlated and go up or down together, which was quite unexpected. The statistical models that simulate the data provide strong evidence for an unknown “Common Cause” that activates all negative emotions simultaneously. We are trying to figure out what that Common Cause might be. It is a bit like “Dark Matter.” Scientists have proven it's existence, but don't yet know what it is. And this unknown Dark Matter represents 95% of the matter in the universe. The statistical models also provide strong evidence that the Feeling Great App helps people because of its strong causal impact on this unknown “Common Cause.” Would love to include this an Ask David in a podcast. Would it be okay? Warmly, david Aaron replies Hi Dr. Burns, I would be honored if you used my question in your podcast. Please let me know when that podcast is posted! I would love to watch it. In the email you sent, are you saying that one theory is that people just cannot accurately define what they are feeling? David replies again Yes, that is one theory, and I have seen that some people, including therapists, have trouble recognizing the names of feelings that their patients are having, based on what the patient says, and also they sometimes have trouble knowing how they are feeling, using “I Feel” Statements. This is, I think, part of what has been called “Emotional Intelligence.” And, just like any skill or talent, there is a great deal of individual difference in “Emotional Intelligence,” and likely some cultural differences as well. I have heard that up until recently, the Chinese did have a word for “depression,” but when a person was appearing depressed, they were kept indoors out of a sense of shame. Thanks! david
Ask David: Getting Off Benzos How Does Music Stir Our Emotions? Combatting Negative Thoughts about the World Treating Schizophrenia with TEAM The Four Feared Fantasy Techniques and more! Questions for today: Mamunur asks: What's the best way to withdraw from benzodiazepines? Gray asks: How does music evoke such powerful emotional reactions? Josh thanks David for techniques that have helped in his personal and professional life. Harold asks: How do you respond to negative thoughts about the world, as opposed to self-criticisms? For example, “The world is filled with so little joy and so much suffering.” Moritz asks: How do you help people with bipolar, schizophrenia, etc.? John expresses gratitude for our answer to his question on Positive Reframing, which triggered an “ah ha moment.” Rhonda asks: What are the four Feared Fantasy Techniques? The answers below were written prior to the podcast. Listen to the podcast for the dialogue among Rhonda, Matt, and David, as much more emerges from the discussions! Mamunur asks: What's the best way to withdraw from benzodiazepines? Ask David, Bangladesh question Dear Sir, I am writing to you from Bangladesh. Your book Feeling Good is a phenomenal work, and it has greatly helped in promoting the development of a healthy mind through logic and reason. Sir, I have a question regarding benzodiazepine withdrawal, which is often prescribed for mental health disorders. Is there a specific CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) approach that can help in withdrawing from benzodiazepines? Your guidance on this would be invaluable, as many people have been taking it for years, either knowingly or unknowingly, without being fully aware of its severe withdrawal effects. Thank you, sir, for your kind contributions to humanity. Sincerely, Mamunur Rahman Senior Lecturer David's reply Dear Mamunur, Thank you for your important question! I am so glad you like my book, Feeling Good, and appreciate your kind comments! As a general rule, slow taper off of benzodiazepines is recommended. This might involve slowly decreasing the dose over a period of several weeks. When I was younger I used to take 0.25 mg of Xanax for sleep, because it was initially promoted as being non-addictive, which was wrong. It is highly addictive. The dose I used was the smallest dose. When I realized that I was “hooked,” I tapered off of it over about a week, and simply put up with the side effects of withdrawal, primarily an increase of anxiety and difficulty sleeping. These disappeared after several weeks. Abrupt withdrawal from high doses of any benzodiazepine can trigger seizures, as I'm sure you know. That is the biggest danger, perhaps. I do recall a published study from years ago conducted at Harvard, I believe at McClean Hospital. The divided two groups of people hooked on Xanax into two groups. Both groups were switched to Klonopin which has a longer “half-life” in the blood and is supposedly a bit easier to withdraw from than Xanax, which goes out of the blood rapidly, causing more sudden and intense withdrawal effects. After this initial phase, both groups continued with slowly tapering off the Klonopin under the guidance of medical experts. However, one of the groups also attended weekly cognitive therapy groups, learning about how to combat the distorted thoughts that trigger negative feelings like anxiety and depression. My memory of the study is that the group receiving cognitive therapy plus drug management did much better. As I recall, 80% of them were able to withdraw successfully. However, the group receiving drug management alone did poorly, with only about 20% achieving withdrawal. My memory of the details may be somewhat faulty, but the main conclusion was clear that the support of the group cognitive therapy greatly enhanced the success of withdrawal from benzodiazepines. I decided early in my career not to prescribe benzodiazepines like Ativan, Valium, Librium, Xanax, and Klonopin for depression or anxiety, because the drug-free methods I and others have developed are very powerful, and the use of benzos can actually make the outcomes worse. Years back, a research colleague from Canada, Henny Westra, PhD, reviewed the world literature on treatment of anxiety with CBT plus benzos and concluded that the benzos did not enhance outcomes. Here is the link: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12214810/. I hope this information is useful and I will include this in a future Feeling Good Podcast. Gray asks: How does music evoke such powerful emotional reactions? Subject: Re: Podcast question: love songs Hi David, That's a really tough question. Music has a unique way of cutting straight to emotions for me, and it makes it especially hard to identify the thoughts behind them. My best way of explaining is with these two thoughts, which have to be viewed as a pair to get that emotional reaction: My life would be perfect if I had that I'm so far away from that These thoughts don't resonate quite right for me, but it's something like that, going from imagining bliss to crashing to hopelessness within the space of a moment. Thank you so much for your response. Gray David's reply You're right. Music can be so beautiful, especially of course, the songs we love, that it is magical and emotional to listen to! It seems more like a sensory experience, than something mediated by thoughts, but we certainly have perceptions of beauty, etc. Similar with some incredibly delicious food. Creates incredible delight and satisfaction, and no words are necessary other than “delicious!” Sorry I can't give you a better answer to your outstanding question! Best, david Josh thanks David for techniques that have helped in his personal and professional life. Dear Dr. Burns, I am sure you are swamped with substantive emails and fan mail, but I just wanted to express appreciation to you for all I have gained from your publicly available content. I have learned so much that I have applied in my personal life. I have also benefited tremendously in my work with clients. So much of what you say about anxiety, and especially the hidden emotion technique, has allowed clients to have in almost every session an aha moment. I have not yet been able to see a complete removal of symptoms in one session yet, but as a therapist, I too have many skills yet to improve and much work to do. So, in short, thank you so much for making your experience and wisdom available for free, and thank you for doing it in such an engaging manner. Sincerely, Josh Farkas David's Reply Thanks, Josh. You are welcome to join our weekly virtual free training group I offer as part of my volunteer work for Stanford, if interested. For more complete change within sessions, a double session (two hours) in my experience is vastly more effective. Is it okay to read your kind note on a podcast? Warmly, david Harold asks: How do you respond to negative thoughts about the world, as opposed to self-criticisms? For example, “The world is filled with so little joy and so much suffering.” Dear Dr. Burns, First of all, I would like to thank you for all your work and your outreach. Your books have profoundly influenced my thinking and value system. I really admire how you exemplify both scientific rigor and human warmth. Finally, I want to thank you for promoting the idea of “Rejection Practice! I haven't had a breakthrough yet, but some unexpected, very encouraging experiences. I first came across Feeling Good 12 years ago when I developed moderate depression in the context of living with my ex-partner, who probably had borderline personality disorder. I tried the techniques in Feeling Good and also psychotherapy, but unfortunately without much success. I only started feeling a lot better when I began to rebuild my social life and leisure time activities (ballroom dancing, getting involved with a church, ...). Several months later, I also broke up with my ex-girlfriend. Since then, I've had ongoing mild depression. I recently tried the techniques in Feeling Great but wanted to ask you for your opinion on a couple of negative thoughts I'm particularly stuck with. My issue is that I'm normally not attacking myself, but life in general. I keep on telling myself things like "Life is just one crisis after the other," "Life is for the lucky ones," "Really good things just don't want to happen," "Life is so much suffering and so little joy," and the depression itself makes these statements all the more convincing. (Triggering events can be rainy holidays, romantic rejections, grant interview rejections, etc.) I think it could be helpful if in a podcast you could give more examples on resolving negative thoughts attacking life / the world rather than oneself. I also have many more questions for podcasts if you are interested. Thank you for reading this, and thank you so much again for all your work! With very best wishes, Harold David's Reply Happy to address this on an Ask David, and it would help if you could let me know what negative feelings you have, and how strong they are. I will be answer in a general way, and not engaging you in therapy, which cannot be done in this context. Is that okay? I'm attaching a Daily Mood Log to help organize your thoughts and feelings. Send it back if you can with the Event, Negative Feelings and % Now columns filled out (0-100), and Negative thoughts and belief in each (0-100). You can also fill in the distortion column using abbreviations, like AON for All-or-Nothing, SH for Should Statement or Hidden Should, MF for Mental filtering, DP for Discounting the Positives, and so forth. Thanks! If you were in a session with me, or if we were just friends talking, I would reply to your complaints with the Disarming Technique, Thought and Feeling Empathy, “I Feel” Statements, Stroking, and Inquiry, like this: Harold: “Life is so much suffering and so little joy." David: “I'm sad to hear you say that, but you're right. There's an enormous amount of suffering in the world, like the horrible wars in Ukraine and in the Mid-East. (I feel; Disarming Technique) It makes sense that you'd be upset, and have all kinds of feelings, even anger since there's so much cruelty, too. (Feeling Empathy) And even people who appear positive and joyful often have inner sadness and loneliness that they are hiding. (Disarming Technique) Your comment tells me a great deal about your core values on honesty and compassion for others. (Stroking) Can you tell me more about the suffering that you've seen that has saddened you the most, and how you feel inside? (Inquiry) But I'm mainly interested in you right now. Can you tell me more about YOUR suffering, and especially if there's some problem you might want some help with? (Inquiry; Changing the Focus) I would continue this strategy until you gave me an A on Empathy, and then I would go on to the A of TEAM (Assessing Resistance), and ask what kind of help, if any, you'd be look for in today's session. I might also use a paradox, like the Acid Test. If you wanted to reduce some of your negative feelings, I might try a variety of techniques, such as “How Many Minutes?” I'd also think about the Hidden Emotion Technique. Is there some problem in your life right now that you're not dealing with, so you instead obsess about the problems in the world to distract yourself? I would continue this strategy until you gave me an A on Empathy, and then I would go on to the A of TEAM (Assessing Resistance), and ask what kind of help, if any, you'd be look for in today's session. I might also use a paradox, like the Acid Test. If you wanted to reduce some of your negative feelings, I might try a variety of techniques, such as “How Many Minutes?” I'd also think about the Hidden Emotion Technique. Is there some problem in your life right now that you're not dealing with, so you instead obsess about the problems in the world to distract yourself? I ask this because your negative thoughts are very general, but I always focus only on specifics, specific problems and moments. What's has been going on with your parents or in the past or present that you are distressed about? I've found that when I (or my patients) solve one specific problem that's bugging me, everything seems to suddenly brighten up. For example, you wrote : “I asked someone out I like; she surprisingly said yes. After 10 days of not hearing from her, I messaged her, . . . “ I wrote a book about dating, Intimate Connections, because I was a nurd and had a lot to learn about dating. One idea is that waiting 10 days might not be a good idea to arrange the specifics of the date, as that might make her feel uneasy. There's a lot to learn about dating, for example. A tool like the Pleasure Predicting Sheet can sometimes help, too. And finally, a good therapist can also often speed things up. Sometimes two heads are better than one. You seem extremely smart and willing to work hard, so there's all kinds of room for growth, learning, and greater joy. The Feeling Great App is NOT therapy, but the tools there might also be helpful, especially since you are willing to work hard a do a lot. That's super important. Can I use this email in my reply in the show notes if we discuss your excellent questions? And should I change your name to Harold? Warmly, david Best, david Moritz asks: How do you help people with bipolar, schizophrenia, etc.? Hi David, You have mentioned a few times that there are only a handful of "real" psychological disorders with known causes, as opposed to just a collection of symptoms. Could you please tell a bit about how you would go about helping somebody with one of the "real" disorders (like Schizophrenia or Bipolar) using TEAM therapy? Most of the episodes with personal work seem to fall into the other category (anxiety, depression, compulsive behavior), so I'd be really curious about some examples. Best regards, Moritz Lenz David's Reply Hi Moritz, Thanks! Good question, and happy to address this on an Ask David. Here's the answer in a nutshell. When working with someone with schizophrenia, the goal is to help them develop greater happiness and interpersonal functioning, exactly the same as with anyone else, using TEAM. The goal is not to cure schizophrenia, because we still do not know the cause and there is no cure. But we can help individuals with schizophrenia with problems that they are having. Bipolar: in the manic phase, usually strong meds are indicated, and often at least one hospitalization. For the rest of their lives, including depression, TEAM works great. Can add more in the podcast. Best, david John expresses gratitude for answer his question on Positive Reframing, which triggered an “ah ha moment.” Hi David and Rhonda! I have listened to Episode 415 and your response to my positive reframing question! I had a bit of a aha moment! I think I had been approaching it in the cheerleading sense and trying to encourage myself with these positive qualities rather than attaching the positives to the negative thoughts and feelings themselves! This has created a much stronger emotional response during the positive reframing section! The building up of the negative thoughts and feelings is a gamechanger! Thanks so much for the time and attention given to it during the podcast. Thanks so much again, I appreciate you folks way more than you could know! John David's Reply Thanks, Rhonda and John. Yes, you've pointed out a huge error many people make when trying to grasp positive reframing. If it is okay, we can include your comment in a future podcast. Warmly, david Rhonda asks about the four Feared Fantasy Techniques: David's Reply Here are the four Feared Fantasy Techniques Approval Addiction / Perceived Perfectionism: “I judge you.” Achievement Addiction: “High School Reunion.” Love Addiction: Rejection Feared Fantasy Submissiveness: No Practice There are quite a number of additional role plays, too, as you know. Maybe a question about all the role plays, bc we all have: Self-Critical Thoughts: Paradoxical and Straightforward Double Standard Externalization of Voices Uncovering Techniques Man from Mars Tempting Thoughts Devil's Advocate Technique Tic-Tok Technique Resistance Externalization of Resistance How Many Minutes? Five Secrets / Relationship Conflict Intimacy Exercise One Minute-Drill I'll bet you can think of more, too! This is one of the unique features of TEAM, but for whatever reason it seems like few therapists use them. As you know, on average they tend to be way more potent and emotional, and of course fast impact. Warmly, david
Ask David How Can I Change an SDB (Self-Defeating Belief)? How Can I Cope with Intense Public Speaking Anxiety? Featuring Rhonda Barovsky, Psy.D., Matthew May, MD, Jason Meno and David Burns, MD (Jason is an AI Scientist on our Feeling Great App Team) Anonymous asks: How can I change an SDB (Self-Defeating Belief)? Hiranmay asks: How can I deal with my intense anxiety before public speaking. Answers to Your Questions Note: These answers below were written BEFORE the podcast, and the live discussion always adds new and different angles. Today, Jason Meno, our beloved AI guy on our app team, also chimes in on the many super questions submitted by Andrew (#3 - #10.) 1. Anonymous asks: How can I change an SDB? Dear Dr. Burns, I'm an avid listener of the Feeling Good podcast and for the past few weeks, an avid user of the Feeling Great app. Thank you for your incredible work and dedication to making people everywhere feel better about themselves. I have a question about self-defeating beliefs that I'm hoping you can address, either on the show or on your website. You have mentioned on several occasions that SDBs are the root cause of negative thoughts and consequently of negative feelings. Yet, to me it doesn't feel like SDBs are really addressed enough on the podcast. There seem to only be a handful of episodes covering the topic. It also seems there is a very limited toolbox of methods to use on SDBs, almost like dealing with them is considered an afterthought. If SDBs really are the cause of it all, shouldn't the primary focus be on defeating them first and only then, on defeating negative thoughts? I'm just a little bit lost when it comes to defeating SDBs, which seem to be way harder to deal with than negative thoughts. Any insights or thoughts on the subject will be greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Anonymous David's reply Dear Anonymous, Will start a new Ask David with your excellent question. Thanks, david First, you can look up Self-Defeating Beliefs in the search function on my website, and you'll find many great examples. Here's what I got just from "Self-Defeating Belief." You could also search for a specific type, like Perfectionism, Perceived Perfectionism, Achievement Addiction, Love Addiction, Approval Addiction, Submissiveness, etc. In general, there are two approaches to any SDB. Four approaches can be used in this order: Do a Cost-Benefit Analysis of the SDB. If Disadvantages outweigh Advantages, use Semantic Technique to modify the SDB. Do an experiment to see if the SDB is actually valid. Use the Feared Fantasy Technique to put the lie to the SDB at the gut level. Here's our latest thinking, which is a step beyond the four steps above. Do a Daily Mood Log on one specific moment when you were struggling with your SDB. We will discuss these ideas in greater depth on the show, of course! You can also find a great deal on SDBs in my books, like Feeling Good, the Feeling Good Handbook, and more. But right now, I don't even know what SDB you might want help with / more information about. Also, in the Feeling Great App, there's a terrific class called "Your PhD in Shoulds." It includes a lesson on perfectionism. 2. Hiranmay asks: How can I deal with my intense anxiety before public speaking without working on the negative thoughts I have afterwards, like “I am going to mess this up” “People are going to notice something obviously wrong in my presentation that I missed, and I will look like a fool.“ “This talk is important, it must go well! Here's his email: Dear Dr. Burns, I love your books and the feeling good podcast. They have made such a huge difference in my life (in a good way of course). I have an “ask David” question on acute anxiety: If I have to play a badminton match or give a presentation, I usually get some or a lot of anxiety the day before the big event as well as the morning of. I then use all the methods you have taught, and the anxiety reduces. However, it usually comes back with a bang just before I give the talk or play a match. Cognitive techniques are not very helpful to me 30 minutes or 5 minutes before the presentation or match. I don't have the time to sit down and write my thoughts or cannot focus at all on my thoughts. Are there any strategies to reduce this form of acute “relapse” or nerves. Here are some more details: Event: 30 minutes before my presentation. I just entered the seminar room, and the first speaker is about to start their talk. I am next. I can feel my heart starting to pound and I am getting the familiar sense of anxiety and nerves. Thoughts: “I am going to mess this up”. “People are going to notice something obviously wrong in my presentation that I missed, and I will look like a fool“. “This talk is important, it must go well”. Although to be honest, this is my analysis of what my thoughts were after the fact. 5-15 minutes before the presentation, I usually just notice my thoughts racing. To reiterate: I am not looking for help with working on these thoughts after the presentation. Any strategies to acutely deal with anxiety or rather relapse of anxiety when I don't have time to use all the wonderful TEAM tools would be very helpful. Thanks so much. Best, Hiranmay (pronounced he-run-may) living in Basel, Switzerland. David's Reply Sure, as a starting point I'd like to see your work with these thoughts on a Daily Mood Log. Do you have one that you could send me, with the percents filled in, etc. That will allow me to see what your strategies are on challenging these thoughts, and whether you can knock them out of the park, or only challenge them “somewhat.” Best, david You can see Hiranmay's excellent DML if you check here. David Continues Hi Hiranmay, It sounds like are not interested in help with the thoughts you recorded in your email below, since this, by definition, is “after the presentation.” If you like, you could perhaps “make up” some thoughts you might be having BEFORE you start to speak. As someone who has had, and recovered from crippling public speaking anxiety, I have tons of powerful techniques, but would need some help from you so I'll have something to go on. By the way, I absolutely DO NOT BELIEVE you when you say those are not the thoughts you are having in the minutes before you begin to speak! So, your requirement that we are not allowed to work on them is a bit of a hindrance. As an aside, I will include this in an Ask David podcast, if that is okay! Sincerely, david I asked H to send me a copy of his Daily Mood Log, which was really well done, and responded with a few suggestions. Then I sent this note: David's Subsequent Response One thing I noticed on your Daily Mood Log is your fear of making a mistake, or having a critical question from someone in the group, or not being able to impress your audience sufficiently. These fears are common in public speaking anxiety. We've all struggled with them at one time or another, I think! I have changed my focus from needing to impress the audience with myself or my talk, and instead I try to remember to try to impress them with themselves, and how awesome they are. Here's an example. I once gave a presentation on the serotonin theory of depression for about 1,000 psychiatrists at a prominent medical school in Texas. It was going well and suddenly a man at the rear stood up and started shouting something like this: “I'm so sick of all you establishment researchers thinking you know so much and ignoring my work. I have discovered the cause and cure for depression in my laboratory. (He claimed it was some kind of vitamin deficiency.) But everyone is ignoring my work (and more ranting and raving.) There was a chilled silence in the room. Here's how I responded: “I appreciate was you're saying, and I agree. I think our current focus on deficiencies in brain serotonin is extremely misguided, and predict, as you say, that research will show that the chemical imbalance theory of depression is not valid. And often, the most important breakthroughs come from laboratories like yours, where someone who is unknown discovers the actual cause of an illness after being ignored for years and years. I'd be honored if you'd approach me at the end of my talk so I can learn more about your pioneering research!” Notice I did not defend myself, but tried to make HIM feel good. At the end of my talk, about 20 or more people came crowding up to the podium with questions and such. I saw him at the back of the group, pushing his way to the front. I braced for another attack. He said, “Dr. Burns, that was the best presentation I've ever heard by far on the serotonin theory of depression. If you would give me permission, I would love to show your slides to my students and colleagues!” I have very little fear of being attacked by people in the audience, and I now speak all the time in front of groups. I used to have paralyzing public speaking anxiety. But the monsters I feared were all in my brain! Warmly, david Andrew asks 8 cool questions! (#3 - #10) which are listed below, along with my answers. Jason Meno also sent some awesome answers, which you'll find below as well, right after my answers to the 8 questions.
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. Question 1: How do I get back to being happy with so much violence and negativity swirling around in the news and in the world? No matter what has been going on in my life, I have always tended to be happy and optimistic, but recently it feels like everything seems pretty bleak in the world and it is bringing me down. I truly don't have any reason to be unhappy- I am part of a magic 10% marriage, I have a good job and great friends and make good money, and truly, want for nothing, but I am fighting feeling sad and anxious about everything going on around me even though I don't watch the news and am not on social media. Question 2: Dear Dr. Lisle, I'm a 25 year old woman and I am unmotivated, have no career, no passions or purpose in life because my family is extremely rich. I am set to inherit a ton of money (tens of millions of dollars) from my parents, so basically I am set for life if I do absolutely nothing for the rest of my life. I didn't go to college because I knew I was going to inherit all this money and I didn't think it was worth it. Now, I literally don't know what to do with my life. Other people need to work to live. I have more money than they will ever make in their lifetime and I didn't even do anything to earn it. My parents tell me to do whatever I want because I'll be rich anyway. I'm embarrassed to date because I have no interesting personality characteristics; I have no career, I'm unmotivated, no passions, no purpose in life. I'm just a spoiled rich girl who inherited daddy's money, who's going to love me for who I am? How am I going to spend the next 50 years of my life? I feel unmotivated to do anything because I'm already rich but then I feel guilty for having nothing to offer to the world. What should I do? Intro 0:00 Question #1: 0:55 Dr. Lisle answers: 1:44 A threshold has been reached 41:53 Understand economics 42:10 Question #2: 46:52 Dr. Lisle answers: 47:55 Outro 1:08:40 Follow us: YouTube: @beatyourgenes X: @beatyourgenes Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
This week we received an ugly piece of fan mail and boy, do we have a response! We discuss all kinds of summer activities including when we became lifeguards!
The doctor is in! But Dr. Madi is not a medical doctor, she's more a doctor in the sense that Dr. Laura is a doctor. So...not at all. But you guys submitted your needs and I'm here to answer! This week I dole out some (hopefully semi-helpful) advice and discuss things like weight shame, divorce, and male validation. You know, my fav topics. Enjoy! Love you! TODAY'S SPONSORS:RITUAL: For a limited time go to RITUAL.COM/BROADCAST to get 25% off of your first month! //SHIPSTATION: Go to SHIPSTATION.COM, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and enter code BAD to get a 60-day free trial. //SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD to get 10% off! //OUAI: Get 15% off any product when you go to THEOUAI.COM and use the code BAD at checkout! //Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The doctor is in! But Dr. Madi is not a medical doctor, she's more a doctor in the sense that Dr. Laura is a doctor. So...not at all. But you guys submitted your needs and I'm here to answer! This week I dole out some (hopefully semi-helpful) advice and discuss things like weight shame, divorce, and male validation. You know, my fav topics. Enjoy! Love you! TODAY'S SPONSORS:RITUAL: For a limited time go to RITUAL.COM/BROADCAST to get 25% off of your first month! //SHIPSTATION: Go to SHIPSTATION.COM, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and enter code BAD to get a 60-day free trial. //SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD to get 10% off! //OUAI: Get 15% off any product when you go to THEOUAI.COM and use the code BAD at checkout! //Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
DEAR DR. ROACH: I am 79 and can move around without any problem. I walk five days a week, and my weight is normal. However, it seems to me that many people -- some younger than I am -- have mobility problems. I wonder what causes this problem. Is it lack of exercise, genes, weight, etc.? -- E.G. ANSWER: Be very grateful that you can move around without a problem, as most people in their late 70s do have mobility issues. The most common reason is osteoarthritis, but there are many causes, such as neurological diseases, cardiovascular issues and other...Article Link
In this episode of Dear Dr. Mama, we dive into the complexities of single motherhood, exploring the pervasive feelings of fear and anxiety that often accompany this journey. Join us as we uncover the physiological and psychological aspects of fear, drawing insights from expert Brittany Jackson, Lpc's professional and personal experiences. We'll discuss the unique challenges single mothers face, offer coping strategies, and highlight the importance of building a strong support network. With special guest interviews and thought-provoking discussions, this episode aims to empower single mothers to conquer fear and anxiety, reminding them that they are not alone in their journey. Tune in for heartfelt conversations and practical advice on navigating the ups and downs of single motherhood. You can contact Brittany on IG @itsbrittanyandrea https://tr.ee/JwIGCSUXTV
In this thought-provoking episode of Dear Dr. Mama, we dived into the intricate world of friendships and motherhood. Drawing insights from research and literature, we explored the evolution of friendships after becoming a mother, highlighting the challenges of maintaining connections amidst the demands of parenthood. We examined the age-old debate of quality versus quantity in friendships, emphasizing the importance of nurturing meaningful connections over simply accumulating a large number of friends. Strategies for fostering deeper friendships, such as active listening and vulnerability, were discussed, offering practical tips for cultivating authentic relationships. The significance of support networks in motherhood was underscored, with a focus on various forms of community, from online forums to local parenting groups. Stories were shared of how these networks provide solace and companionship for mothers navigating the challenges of parenthood, highlighting the transformative power of shared experiences. Lastly, we addressed the inevitable changes and losses that occur in friendships over time, exploring strategies for coping with shifting dynamics and embracing self-compassion and acceptance. Through it all, the importance of prioritizing authentic connections and self-care in motherhood was emphasized, reminding listeners that they are not alone on this journey. Join us for more insightful discussions on motherhood and beyond by subscribing to Dear Dr. Mama and following us on traveling.psychdoc on instagram.
In this thought-provoking episode of Dear Dr. Mama, we dived into the transformative power of presence and the radical act of prioritizing rest for mothers. Drawing inspiration from the book “Rest is Resistance A Manifesto,” by Tricia Hersey, we challenge the societal norms that glorify busyness and productivity, and instead advocate for reclaiming moments of stillness and connection. Join us as we explore mindfulness techniques, practical tips, and personal anecdotes to empower mothers to embrace the power of presence and prioritize rest as an act of rebellion against a culture that devalues their worth. Tune in for a conversation that celebrates the beauty of being fully present and the necessity of rest in nurturing our souls and strengthening our bonds with our children. https://amzn.to/3Ikk8IP
Introduction: In this episode of Dear Dr. Mama, Dr. Alixis explores the unpredictable journey of motherhood, focusing on the theme of “Preparing for the Unexpected.” The objective is to educate, inspire, and provide valuable insights for moms and expecting mothers. Links: Calendar https://amzn.to/3tPAzZR There are several mental health resources specifically designed to support moms. Here are some valuable organizations and platforms: 1. Postpartum Support International (PSI): • Website: https:/www.postpartum.net • PSI provides resources, support, and education for families dealing with perinatal mental health challenges. 2. 2020 Mom: • Website: https://www.2020mom.org • Focused on maternal mental health, 2020 Mom advocates for systemic changes and offers resources for mothers. 3. Motherhood Center: • Website: https:www.motherhoodcenter.com • A center providing support for prenatal and postpartum mental health, including counseling and support groups. 4. Therapy for black girls Website https:/therapyforblackgirls.com Find trusted, culturally competent therapists that know our feelings and can help navigate being a strong, black woman.
"Dear Dr. Sala," wrote a father well into his 70s, "One of my greatest heartaches is that my children are not living for the Lord. They were all raised in a Christian home. In fact, my wife and I have spent most of our lives in the Lord's service, but more than anything else, we would like to see them come back to Him before we die."
Dear HR Diary - The Unfiltered Truth You Wish They Taught in Management School
Welcome to "Dear HR Diary," the unfiltered truth you wish they taught in management school. This podcast hosted by, ME, Dawn Hart, a seasoned HR and management professional with over 28 years of experience in the corporate world. Join me and some fantastic guests on a thrilling journey through the trenches of human resources and management, where expertise meets snark, sass, and a plethora of captivating stories.Drawing from my extensive background in various industries, I will bring you a unique perspective on the challenges and triumphs of the workplace. Each episode is a rollercoaster ride filled with humorous anecdotes, jaw-dropping tales, and invaluable insights. Whether you're an HR professional, a manager trying to decode the complexities of office dynamics, or simply someone who appreciates a good story, this podcast is your go-to destination.I love to apply my wealth of experience and some valuable tips to the "Dear HR Diary" podcast by diving deep into the nitty-gritty of HR, revealing the human side of human resources and the managing side of managing people. Expect laughter, enlightenment, and a healthy dose of snark and sass. Subscribe now and tune in to uncover the secrets, strategies, and scandals of the corporate world, all narrated with my fun, and sassy signature style. Your weekly dose of HR and management brilliance awaits!Support the showConnect with Dawn:Website: www.managewithhart.comInstagram: @managewithhart
"Dear Dr. Sala, where was God when my dream died? I thought I could trust Him. Now I'm not sure!" No, you were not the one who wrote those words, but chances are those thoughts have at some time or another risen from your troubled heart, whether you voiced them aloud or just thought them.
Another episode STUFFED with important info - like Trader Joe's pumpkin products & Taylor Swift news. Of course, I try to throw in some actual advice with a hefty Dear Dr. Madi segment. Basically we do it all this episode! Enjoy! TODAY'S SPONSORS:DOOR DASH: Get 50% off of your first order when you download the app and use the code BAD //AMIKA: Go to LOVEAMIKA.COM/BAD to shop all my faves and to get 20% off your order. Discount automatically applied at checkout and cannot be combined with other offers. // SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, use the code BAD for 10% off! //QUINCE: Get free shipping and 365 returns when you go to QUINCE.COM/BAD //CLEAN SIMPLE EATS: Go to CLEANSIMPLEEATS.COM and use the code BAD at checkout for 20% off your first order! // Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Another episode STUFFED with important info - like Trader Joe's pumpkin products & Taylor Swift news. Of course, I try to throw in some actual advice with a hefty Dear Dr. Madi segment. Basically we do it all this episode! Enjoy! TODAY'S SPONSORS:DOOR DASH: Get 50% off of your first order when you download the app and use the code BAD //AMIKA: Go to LOVEAMIKA.COM/BAD to shop all my faves and to get 20% off your order. Discount automatically applied at checkout and cannot be combined with other offers. // SQUARESPACE: Go to SQUARESPACE.COM/BAD for a free trial and when you're ready to buy a website or domain, use the code BAD for 10% off! //QUINCE: Get free shipping and 365 returns when you go to QUINCE.COM/BAD //CLEAN SIMPLE EATS: Go to CLEANSIMPLEEATS.COM and use the code BAD at checkout for 20% off your first order! // Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend, "Would you have any suggestions to help people who have reached their eighties and feel they have nothing to live for? I admit feeling very useless at times. I am 82, in a wheel chair, and have little energy."
Dr. Shirely answers common questions she gets asked as a plastic surgeon! Produced by www.oneofoneproductions.com Recorded, mixed, edited and original music by www.23dbproductions.com Podcast Medical Disclaimer The purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. It is no substitute for professional care by your doctor or your own qualified healthcare professional. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this podcast or in any linked materials. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experience and conclusions, and Dr. Shirley Madhere neither endorses nor opposes any particular opinion discussed in this podcast. The views expressed on this podcast have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice, institution or other entity with which Dr. Shirley Madhere may be affiliated.
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "I have a question. How come the God of the Old Testament, who allows killing of men, women and children, is so different from the God of the New Testament who says love your enemies? Did God change His mind, or are we talking about two different Gods? There is a big movement…that is saying that they are two different Gods. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts."
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "when my husband and I get into an argument, he walks away and comes back as though nothing had ever happened. When he has hurt me and never asks for forgiveness, I feel offended and want to withdraw. Do you have any suggestions which might help?"
Six Cool Ask David Questions from Carlos and Greg Carlos asks: 1. Are your tools available in Spanish? 2. Is there any evidence that TEAM can help patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? 3. How do you get patients with BDP to stop jumping from problem to problem? 4. How do you get them to stop endless venting during therapy sessions? Greg asks: 5. What comes first, thoughts or feelings? 6. Can't a genuinely negative or tragic event directly cause negative feelings, without having to have negative thoughts? Dear Dr. Burns: 1. I would like to use your BMS but I mostly work with patients in Mexico. Has there been any standardization of your tests in any Spanish speaking country? David and Rhonda address this. You can email Victoria Chicural, who is one of the TEAM-CBT leaders in Mexico (along with Silvina Carla Bucci), at victoriachl@yahoo.com and ask her about access to TEAM-CBT forms that have been translated into Spanish. 2. I am wondering if TEAM has proven to be effective in the treatment of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I use it a lot, but I have found quite a few challenging elements. David describes his published work, indicating an excellent response to TEAM-CBT in patients with BPD. 3. People suffering from BPD usually have trouble prioritizing tasks and activities. The same happens when it comes to setting objectives. Because of their emotion dysregulation, they usually decide to work on one objective, and later on, they sometimes say: "Well, this objective is not THAT important anymore. Let's do another." For them, doing the specificity part can be really challenging because their perspective changes very quickly and they usually go back to the former objective when they're being challenged by a similar situation!!! How do you get them to prioritize objectives and not to switch from one to another so quickly? Or, do you think I could be making a mistake when setting objectives? David describes the strategies he has developed for coping with this type of clinical problem, including the development of his Concept of Self-Help Memo that he required every new patient to fill out prior to their first therapy session. 4. BPD usually come up with a lot of material to the session. They may be facing complex PTSD but also dysfunctionality at work, at school, etc. They want to say everything in a single session even if we have agreed to follow one single objective. Many sessions turn into endless talking without getting anywhere - some of them argue they need to vent out what they feel - but as time goes by, they complain that therapy is not working! How do you deal with a patient who is overwhelmed with numerous factors in a session where you have a previously set objective? David describes the strategies he has developed for coping with this type of clinical problem, Carlos S Bouchanm, Clinical Psychologist David's Response Hi Carlos, I think these would make for excellent Ask David podcast questions. If so, can we use your name and read your questions? I reported on the effectiveness of the forerunner of TEAM in the treatment of BPD is the Journal of Clinical and Consulting Psychology in the 1990s. TEAM was specifically developed for this population, since 28% of my patients in Philadelphia had BPD. In the live podcast, I will address the excellent questions you asked about treating individuals with BPD. Thanks! David From: Greg Hi David, Thanks for everything you do and for the great podcast! I have another couple questions possibly for the “Ask David” segment of the podcast. 5. Can you say some more about automatic thoughts? CBT is based on the idea that we're thinking things that produce feelings, but with an automatic thought it just kind of pops up and is there. It's not like actively, intentionally thinking it. Other schools of thought (for example Somatic Experiencing) posit that feelings from the nervous system occur first and that the thoughts are actually the product of that, which seems to run counter to the CBT view. This has been a little challenging and confusing. David and Rhonda discuss this, including new research on the causal links between emotions and thoughts. 6. How do you apply TEAM CBT to worries about real and true things, like a real diagnosis or a tragic event? It would seem that it's not just one's thoughts about it, but an actual threat or upsetting event causing feelings because that is simply how one would feel about. Maybe the thinking is accurate? This, too, has been particularly challenging and confusing, so I'd love to hear more on this. David and Rhonda discuss how thoughts trigger all of your feelings, even after a genuinely tragic event. Thank You, Greg L. David's Response Thanks, Gary. These are great questions, and perhaps we can address them om an Ask David podcast! There are strong, clear answers that might be interesting or helpful, as nearly everyone has these questions! Best, david Thanks for joining us today! Rhonda, and David
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "when my husband and I get into an argument, he walks away and comes back as though nothing had ever happened. When he has hurt me and never asks for forgiveness, I feel offended and want to withdraw. Do you have any suggestions which might help?"
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "when my husband and I get into an argument, he walks away and comes back as though nothing had ever happened. When he has hurt me and never asks for forgiveness, I feel offended and want to withdraw. Do you have any suggestions which might help?"
DEAR DR. ROACH: I see supplements advertised on television that are supposed to clear "brain fog" and do many other beneficial things. Are these any good, and can they actually do the things that they claim? If they are effective, why aren't they sold at drugstores? If not, how is it that companies are allowed to make these false claims and advertise these supplements on television? -- J.L.P. ANSWER: I believe that there are over-the-counter supplements that are effective for treating some medical conditions, and there are a few instances in which there is strong evidence of benefit, such as...Article Link
Listen in as student debt expert and Board Member Dr. Tony Bartels and student debt team member Dr. Rebecca Mears in this next installment of our Student Debt Series. This episode we're going through the current hot list of student debt topics the team is hearing from colleagues and a to-do list of what borrowers need to do now. Hot List: Did you finish vet school before 2014? - You may have privately-held FFELs. Consolidate and benefit from the one-time forgiveness count adjustment Do you have loans that have been in repayment longer than you've been using income-driven repayment? - Consolidate and benefit from the one-time forgiveness count adjustment. Are you eligible for PAYE? Are you using PAYE? - Make sure you find out before PAYE is phased out! Did you make any payments before the pandemic forbearance benefits began, March 13, 2020? - Request a refund before the benefits end! Do you know when your income-driven repayment renewal date is? Hint - it's not until sometime after January 2024, at least. Use the My Student Loans tool to see your "Anniversary Date" and start planning your post-forbearance strategy. Married? Have you been filing your taxes separately from your spouse recently because of your student debt? - You can amend recent prior year tax returns from separate to joint! We covered this in a recent Dear Dr. Debt column. Visit with your accountant to see if you can get a refund. Graduating veterinary school in 2023? Congratulations! Did you miss the New Grad Student Loan Repayment Playbook webinar? - Here is a link to the playbook recording, slides, and checklist. Honorable mentions (coming soon): Most unpaid interest capitalization is going away starting July 1, 2023 One-time forgiveness count adjustments will be applied in 2024 (or sooner if you are due forgiveness) The Supreme Court will rule on the special cancellation benefits this summer Interest and payments are likely starting up later this summer, possibly after August 2023 As always, we want to hear from YOU. Please share your thoughts by sending an email or joining the conversation. GUEST BIOS: Dr. Tony Bartels Tony Bartels, DVM, MBA graduated in 2012 from the Colorado State University combined MBA/DVM program and is a VIN Foundation Board Member and Student Debt Expert, and an employee of the Veterinary Information Network (VIN). He and his wife, a small-animal internal medicine specialist practicing in Denver, have more than $400,000 in veterinary-school debt that they manage using federal income-driven repayment plans. By necessity (and now obsession), his professional activities include researching and speaking on veterinary-student debt, providing guidance to colleagues on loan-repayment strategies and contributing to VIN Foundation resources. Beyond debt, his professional interests include small- and exotic-animal practice. When he's not staring holes into his colleagues' student-loan data, Tony enjoys fly fishing, ice hockey, camping and exploring Colorado with his wife, Audra, and their two rescued canines, Addi and Maggie. Dr. Rebecca Mears Rebecca Mears, DVM is from Lexington, KY, where she completed her BS at University of Kentucky. She is a graduate of University of Georgia's College of Veterinary Medicine. While in vet school, she served as the National Business Certificate Director for the Veterinary Business Management Association (VBMA) and as a board member for Vets for Pets and People. During this time she took an active role in wellbeing awareness and access within the veterinary community. Rebecca then worked as an equine general practitioner and is an active AAEP member. In her time away from veterinary medicine, she can be found hiking, baking, and hosting impromptu dance parties. She is passionate about giving back to the profession and improving the lives of veterinarians, pre-vet and vet students. LINKS AND INFORMATION: Get Student Debt Updates: https://vinfoundation.org/veterinary-student-debt-updates/ VIN Foundation Student Debt Tools: VIN Foundation Student Debt Center: https://vinfoundation.org/studentdebtcenter Check your current student loan servicers and other loan details -- VIN Foundation My Student Loans tool: http://www.vinfoundation.org/mystudentloans Loan Repayment Simulator: https://vinfoundation.org/loansim VIN Foundation WikiDebt: https://vinfoundation.org/wikidebt Additional links: Personalized student loan Help from VIN and VIN Foundation: https://vinfoundation.org/veterinary-student-loan-debt-help/ Repay Wiser: https://vinfoundation.org/resources/repay-wiser-veterinary-school-debt-loan-repayment/ Borrow Better: https://vinfoundation.org/resources/borrow-better-veterinary-school-loan-debt/ New Grad Student Loan Repayment Playbook: https://vinfoundation.org/resources/veterinary-new-grad-student-loan-repayment-playbook/ Federal Student Aid Data, Consolidation, and Repayment Application: https://studentaid.gov/ New Proposed Regulations Would Transform Income-Driven Repayment by Cutting Undergraduate Loan Payments in Half and Preventing Unpaid Interest Accumulation: https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/new-proposed-regulations-would-transform-income-driven-repayment-cutting-undergraduate-loan-payments-half-and-preventing-unpaid-interest-accumulation Student Debt Relief Information: https://studentaid.gov/debt-relief-announcement/one-time-cancellation Department of Education press release (Nov 2022): https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/biden-harris-administration-continues-fight-student-debt-relief-millions-borrowers-extends-student-loan-repayment-pause Department of Education press release (April 2022): https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/department-education-announces-actions-fix-longstanding-failures-student-loan-programs One-time Forgiveness Count Adjustment https://studentaid.gov/announcements-events/idr-account-adjustment Federal Student Loan Servicers: https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/repayment/servicers Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF): https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/public-service Stay up to date with VIN Foundation updates: https://vinfoundation.org/updates/ VIN Foundation GIVE page to support these programs & tools: https://vinfoundation.org/give Email VIN Foundation: studentdebt@vinfoundation.org You may learn more about the VIN Foundation, on the website, or join the conversation on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or Twitter. If you like this podcast, we would appreciate it if you follow and share. As always, we welcome feedback. If you have an idea for a podcast episode, we'd love to hear it!
Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone. Deuteronomy 34:7 "Dear Dr. Sala," wrote a friend, "Would you have any suggestions to help people who have reached their eighties and feel they have nothing to live for? I admit feeling very useless at times. I am 82, in a wheelchair, and have little energy." In recent days, there has been a graying of society as more and more of us are living longer and longer; and with the years come new challenges. Frankly, every year I hear from more and more people who are struggling with the challenges of ageing. I've done two things, thinking about this issue. First, I've asked again, "What does God say in His Word about this?" Then, I've talked with a number of seniors who are there and asked them what they have found that is helpful, which I can share with you. The fact is that the number of men and women in their eighties has increased dramatically in the last two decades. Better medicines, better nourishment, and better health care in general have combined to give a lot of seniors more years. Whereas many would have succumbed to illnesses a few years ago, they now often fight back and have years to enjoy, provided they can enjoy them. Far sooner than we would like to admit, the years turn into decades and we find ourselves doing fewer and fewer things for the first time and more and more things for the last time. How can seniors handle the changes of life? May I suggest the following: Guideline #1: Come to grips with the fact that you are here by the will of God, not fate or chance. God makes no mistakes and suffers no surprises. Paul wrote, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will..." Never forget, until He calls you, you've got work to do. Guideline #2: Realize that your true value as a person is dependent on your character and not your productivity. One of the flaws of our thinking, especially as we age, is that we are not worth much unless we are producing. This, of course, runs contrary to everything that the Bible says. It tells us that you are of value and worth, not because of what you do, but because of what you are. Paintings and fine books only become more valuable with age, and so it is with people. Guideline #3: Accept your lessening strength with grace. "I greet each day as a gift," says Beatrice Cole, at age 90. She says that the last decade, from age 80 to 90, has been the best gift of her life, though she has been alone most of that time except for the company of her pet poodle. Guideline #4: Force yourself to get out and mix with people. "After I lost Ethel," said Frank Emery, "I forced myself to get out, to travel, to play golf, to be with people. Sitting at home, refusing to reach out to others, only compounds your loneliness." Guideline #5: Refuse to accept defeat at the hand of yourself. Theologian Dr. Wilbur Smith once wrote, "It's no sin growing old, but it's mighty inconvenient." My wife of 60 years and I recently co-authored a book entitled, Age is Just a Number. Now that we are both in our 80s, it's nice to write about something we have experienced firsthand. As the horses of time gallop down the lessening hills, share your life experiences with those who follow in your footsteps. Your memories will be with them long after you are gone. Indeed. Never forget that age is a matter of the mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Resource Reading: Isaiah 40:1-11
Dr. Shirely answers common questions she gets asked as a plastic surgeon! Produced by www.oneofoneproductions.com Recorded, mixed, edited and original music by www.23dbproductions.com Podcast Medical Disclaimer The purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. It is no substitute for professional care by your doctor or your own qualified healthcare professional. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this podcast or in any linked materials. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experience and conclusions, and Dr. Shirley Madhere neither endorses nor opposes any particular opinion discussed in this podcast. The views expressed on this podcast have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice, institution or other entity with which Dr. Shirley Madhere may be affiliated.
Dr. Shirely answers common questions she gets asked as a plastic surgeon! Produced by www.oneofoneproductions.com Recorded, mixed, edited and original music by www.23dbproductions.com Podcast Medical Disclaimer The purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. It is no substitute for professional care by your doctor or your own qualified healthcare professional. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this podcast or in any linked materials. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experience and conclusions, and Dr. Shirley Madhere neither endorses nor opposes any particular opinion discussed in this podcast. The views expressed on this podcast have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice, institution or other entity with which Dr. Shirley Madhere may be affiliated.
We start this episode with some interesting things worth knowing about your credit card including what your options are when the credit card company raises your interest rate. https://motuscc.com/credit-card-processing/9-interesting-credit-card-facts-and-stats/ No one likes to be scammed or taken for a fool. In fact we keep our antenna up so make sure that doesn't happen. Maybe though, we are being too vigilant. By being so skeptical and wary of situations and opportunities, we may miss out on some very rewarding ones according to Tess Wilkinson-Ryan. She is a University of Pennsylvania law professor and psychologist and author of the book Fool Proof: How Fear of Playing the Sucker Shapes Our Selves and the Social Order--And What We Can Do About It (https://amzn.to/3jMqrfo). Listen as she explains how to put the fear of being taken for a sucker into perspective and feel a lot better for doing so. Can you name a big project that has ever been finished on time and under-budget? Think about any construction project at home or even any government project to build a road or a bridge. It seems it always takes longer and costs more than was projected. Why is that? Why can't anyone seem to get it right? Well, actually some people can. That is what Bent Flyvbjerg is here to explain. Bent is a professor at Oxford and considered one of the leading experts on topic. He has consulted on over one hundred projects costing $1 billion or more and he is author of the book How Big Things Get Done: The Surprising Factors That Determine the Fate of Every Project, from Home Renovations to Space Exploration and Everything In Between (https://amzn.to/3YxwnHX). Why do kids who grow up in the same family, with the same parents and the same rules often turn out so differently? Listen as I explain one leading psychologist's explanation that should come as good news to parents. Source: Dr. Wes Crenshaw author of the book Dear Dr. Wes: Real Life Advice for Parents of Teens (https://amzn.to/3RIO6dx). PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Visit https://NJM.com/podcast for a quote to see how much you can save on your auto insurance! Dell Technologies' Presidents Day event is here! The savings start now on select sleek XPS laptops and more powered by 12th Gen Intel® Core™ processors. Don't forget special pricing on the latest monitors, docks and accessories, plus free shipping on everything and monthly payment options with Dell Preferred Account. Just call 877-ASK-DELL for these limited-time Presidents Day deals! With With TurboTax, an expert will do your taxes from start to finish, ensuring your taxes are done right (guaranteed), so you can relax! Feels good to be done with your taxes, doesn't it? Come to TurboTax and don't do your taxes. Visit https://TurboTax.com to learn more. Intuit TurboTax. Did you know you could reduce the number of unwanted calls & emails with Online Privacy Protection from Discover? - And it's FREE! Just activate it in the Discover App. See terms & learn more at https://Discover.com/Online Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Breakdown: The Brothas discuss Ed Reid's comments about his experience at Bethume-Cookman as the new head coach and whether or not it gives credence to Deion Sanders situation. Coming off Dr. King's day, The Brothas reflect on his legacy and impact on America and whether or not he would be pleased with the progress made since 1968. Plug A Plug: Mount Vernon Records. Pass The Aux: Corey: Don Ready, Battz & Yung Kriss - "Heavenly Poetry 5", Stephen: Boldy James & Cuns - "Foot Prints", Mike: Stormzy - "Sampha's Plea".
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a listener, "I'm 26 years of age, and at this point in my life, I have such an empty feeling. I'm a member of a Baptist Church (which I haven't been to for at least a month). I'm trying to reach for something but I don't know what!! I'm spiritually weak. Is there a time in our lives when we become stumped--you don't know which way to go? If you are able to answer these questions, please reply."
Stephen Wolfram answers questions from his viewers about the history science and technology as part of an unscripted livestream series, also available on YouTube here: https://wolfr.am/youtube-sw-qa Questions include: Are you familiar with Norbert Wiener's work? Is it relevant to current computer science at all? - Do you have any interesting stories/comments about Frederick P. Brooks? - What did you learn from The Mythical Man Month? (and when did you first read it?) - Dear Dr. Wolfram, what is your opinion on John Backus' lecture from 1977: "Can Programming be Liberated from the von Neumann Style?"? - Was it even one cornerstone for your thinking? - Did general system theory and systems theory die out and why? - Does functional programming count as liberation from von Neumann style? - Do you think scientific software development has a very different development practice? - Are you saying that flowchart descriptions of algorithms and computations originate from systems theory/general systems theory? I always thought that is just a part of modern computer science. - Regarding what you just mentioned about education and teaching programming, what are your thoughts generally on how far our higher level languages are abstracting more and more away from the core metal? Do you worry about future generations of programmers not understanding core fundamentals and that we might come become stunted in terms of coming up with new languages and computing paradigms due to a lack of expertise? - Were you ever involved in the development of a kind of software that you now think might actually be morally questionable in some sense?
DEAR DR. ROACH: I'm a 74-year-old female who smokedo a pack a day for 40-plus years, having quit smoking about 18 years ago. As a precaution, I asked my primary doctor to order a screening CT scan, knowing that I'm a candidate for lung cancer. The results showed a 3- mm nodule in one lung, and I was advised not to worry and that my doctor would order another CT scan in six months. I can't help but wonder if this is cancer and if an oncologist, after six months, will ask me why I waited so long to see...Article Link
DEAR DR. ROACH: I was diagnosed with COPD a year and a half ago. I seem to be unable to get answers from my pulmonary doctor, as he is always busy. How fast does COPD progress? I'm 78 years old, I'm in reasonably good health, and I exercise regularly. I have chronic bronchitis with a slight amount of emphysema. I had been coughing a little during the day, had mucus in the morning and coughed at night for two to three hours after bedtime — to the extent of having to use a rescue inhaler to settle down and get...Article Link
In this episode, it is a brief introduction of the expectations or lack there of for Dear Dr. Mama.
Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Career Podcasts! “Whether you're on an athletic team, a sales force, or a symphony orchestra, you better be honest about what you think about yourself. What you think about yourself and what you think about all the things that happen day by day, that's what constitutes your confidence.” - Dr. Nate Zinsser This Summer, I'm delighted to offer you our “Summer Pick” series which brings you a selection of the most popular listener favorites from the past few years of shows. Today's episode originally aired as a two-part installment on January 27th and February 3rd, 2022. Hope you enjoy them! Confidence is a character trait that has relatively little to do with what happens to you, but rather it's a function of how you think. Today's Finding Brave guest reveals how you can change your level of confidence, but first you must be aware of certain things. You absolutely can develop confidence for any situation that you care to, and our guest shares the ways that confident performers think differently from the average person in order to do this. Dr. Nate Zinsser is an expert in the psychology of human performance who consults for individuals and organizations seeking a competitive edge. Nate's latest book, The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide for Unshakable Performance, hit shelves January 2022, and has been endorsed by two-time Super Bowl Champion and MVP Eli Manning, bestselling authors Jon Krakauer and Steven Pressfield, and US Olympic Bobsled Head Coach Mike Kohn. Nate was a regular consultant to the Philadelphia Flyers and New York Giants for twelve seasons and has been a keynote speaker for General Electric, Facebook, McDonald's, Staples, UBS, Major League Baseball, the NBA, and many more, as well as a consultant for the FBI Academy, the U.S. Army World Class Athlete Program, (mentoring four Olympic medalists), the U.S. Army Recruiting Command, and the U.S. Army Marksmanship Unit. Since 1992, he has directed a cutting-edge applied sport psychology program at the United States Military Academy's Center for Enhanced Performance, personally conducting over seventeen thousand individual training sessions and seven hundred team training sessions for cadets seeking the mental edge for athletic, academic, and military performance. He also helped launch the highly successful magazine Sports Illustrated for Kids and was presented with an American Library Association award for his 1991 children's book Dear Dr. Psych: A Kid's Guide to Handling Sports Problems. I'm happy to re-air this important mini-series on confidence, to give you the action steps and mindset shifts needed to overcome obstacles that often get in the way of building our self-confidence. To learn more about today's guest, visit: https://natezinsser.com/
DEAR DR. ROACH: I have always read that when you are having your blood pressure taken, your arm should be elevated above your heart. When mine is taken this way, it is normal, around 120/70. When I go to the doctor, my blood pressure is taken with my arm hanging at my side. I often get a much higher reading taken this way, say, 140/90. Is there a correct way to take it, and does it affect the reading? My doctor said the position doesn't matter and wants to prescribe medication. — U.P. ANSWER: When taking the blood pressure, the...Article Link
"Dear Dr. Sala," wrote a friend of Guidelines, "Being raised in the Baptist denomination, I always heard that people who did not meet the biblical requirements of being saved would burn in a literal hell after death and this would be a continuous burning forever and ever. I still hear this in the church I attend today. But somehow, I can't seem to understand why God would create this so-called eternal barbeque pit. Once a person is dead and can no longer harm or hurt anyone, does God get some kind of revenge or satisfaction from seeing persons… suffer in burning anguish forever and ever?"
"Dear Dr. Sala," begins a letter from a very discouraged friend of Guidelines, who neither gave his full name nor an address. Jason tells about a broken home and the heartache he has experienced as his dreams and hopes fell apart. He says, "Many times before I left, I cried to God and begged him to save my marriage. What happened? Where was He? Why didn't he knock some sense into us?" He described his ordeal as a long valley through which he was walking and then, thinking about taking his life, asked, "How long are valleys supposed to last? Would you address the subject of suicide?"
Half-a-million Facebook followers. Hundreds of videos in a series called “The Great Awakening.” Christiane Northrup, the matriarch of New Age women's wellness, warns her followers about fake viruses, and tells them to avoid sex with their vaccinated partners. She stumps alongside QAnon celebrities, shovels campaign contributions to Trump, and dotes over sovereign citizen sheriffs. To ease your symptoms of ascension, she offers bath recipes of alfalfa greens and Dr. Bronner's soap. You can have a good soak and listen to her golden harp. But in this nowhere world, where oh where is Christiane Northrup? Who is she? Is she flesh and blood, or a social media hologram generated by a Louise Hay AI? Is that mansion she broadcasts from a sound stage, or is there real soil and manure and flowers there? Our guests today know Northrup as super-real, because they live in her home state of Maine. Alyce Ornella, Andy O'Brien, and Mooncat have known her as a doctor, an MLM diva, antivax rabble rouser, and QAnon tour promoter. Now, they tell us, another Northrup may be crystallizing on Maine's rocky shore, floating past the lighthouses and over the cranberry bogs on a cloud of essential oils. She's been seen haunting the blueberry patches, wearing a chunky necklace of lobster claws. As Northrup begins to hold revival meetings in Down East churches, and openly fantasize about murdering political enemies, they wonder if she is assuming her ultimate form—as an IRL cult leader.Links:36: Guru Jagat 1 37: Guru Jagat 264: Remembering Guru Jagat 81: Praying for Fire 59: Is Rudolf Steiner Dead Yet? Dear Dr. Northrup Dr. No: Christiane NorthrupRepublican barred from inviting guests into State HouseNaomi Wolf: “Five Freedoms” speech, April 2021.Arise USA rally draws crowds inside, outside Crosby Center Arise USA Meets Maine Stands UpInside the Disastrous Conspiracy Roadshow That Likely Killed a COVID-Denying Ex-CIA AgentMaine Republican compared the governor to Nazi Josef MengeleME state rep compares COVID vaccine mandate to NazismNorthrup boosts Holo-denier Charlie FreakOn John Linnehan, Dominionist
DEAR DR. ROACH: I have a strong history of premature heart disease in my family, and I have been having some unpleasant side effects of blood pressure medicine. I decided to try a completely plant-based diet: grains, vegetables, legumes, fruit, seeds and nuts. After about a month on the new diet, my total cholesterol dropped 44 points to 159, and the other numbers went from borderline to normal, as measured by my cardiologist. My blood pressure, which was often high in the mornings (typically 150+/90), was 118/68 this morning. I've only lost about 5 pounds in the past couple of...Article Link
Our frequent guest Matt Moseley, author of the book Dear Dr. Thompson about Hunter's successful effort to free a Colorado woman from prison after her strange felony murder conviction, helps kick off our parallel podcast we're calling "District-to-District." Based in the District of Columbia and linked with the Garden District of New Orleans (where the HG studio is STILL under construction!), the podcast will look at how the Capital district connects with others. In this installment, Matt joins Curtis and Christopher finally recording live at poolside, and it's all about water. Matt has recently returned from swimming the Sea of Galilee (yes, that one) and is visiting Washington to educate lawmakers about water issues. His efforts were part of an American Rivers lobbing day and he also offers insight into the gonzo world of distance swimming, not to be confused with his other passion: endurance lunching.
DEAR DR. ROACH: What is the difference between eccentric LVH and concentric LVH? Which one is more dangerous and needs more attention? My mother was diagnosed with severe eccentric LVH for body surface area with adequate systolic and diastolic functions. What does that mean? — C.F. ANSWER: The left ventricle is the chamber of the heart that pumps blood to the entire body, except for through the lungs; that is the job of the right ventricle. When the job is too hard, usually because of high blood pressure, the left ventricle hypertrophies, meaning its walls get thicker as a response...Article Link
DEAR DR. ROACH: I picked up a cough while traveling in Europe more than two years ago. No other symptoms have ever presented. Since that time, I have received every test imaginable, including spirometry, multiple breathing tests, CT scans, X-rays and most recently a bronchoscopy. Nothing was discovered through any of these tests. Other than the cough, I am very healthy. The cough is driving me crazy, however. I have been prescribed every type of medication, and nothing helps. My doctors are at a standstill and have nothing further to offer. I don't know where to go from here, but...Article Link
DEAR DR. ROACH: I am a 70-year-old woman, mostly healthy (apart from wellcontrolled high blood pressure). Looking at me, people assume I am skinny, but I have a well-concealed HUGE belly along with my thin arms and legs. I look like an olive stuck with toothpicks. My diet is healthy for the most part: I eat snack foods, deep-fried fast foods or sweets only rarely. I have read about how to eliminate belly fat, but there is so much contradictory info, each claiming to be the best. What are truly effective ways to help eliminate belly fat? — M.H. ANSWER:...Article Link
"Dear Dr. Sala," wrote an eight-year-old friend, "Is Jesus and God a Christian, or don't they have to be one because they're the God?" Out of the mouths of babes come some of the most profound issues. Were Jesus and God "Christians" or "don't they have to be one?" Our eight-year-old friend is doing some serious thinking, and to be honest with you, that's a tough question to answer, but let me see what I can do. Let's begin by identifying what "God" we are talking about. Sometimes we use language and assume that everybody understands, when in reality they are talking about something entirely different.
In this week's podcast, I answer your question. Q. Dear Dr. Tracy. Every time I try to share something with my partner, he goes and makes it about himself. Recently, I was trying to share about an issue with my sister. He got so heated and upset - we've had frequent conflict about my sister - that I ended up stop asking for the support that I needed. I'm not sure what to do in these moments, but I do know that resentment is building up and it doesn't feel good. - Nicole In this episode, we discuss: Different ways to approach a conversationRecognizing why your partner might do thisHow to respond at two different times Looking for more: Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quizLooking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be ConnectedJoin me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationshipVisit my website for more What's Coming Next? I sit down with Dr. Shefali and dive into the world of conscious parenting.
"Dear Dr. Sala," wrote an eight-year-old friend, "Is Jesus and God a Christian, or don't they have to be one because they're the God?" Out of the mouths of babes come some of the most profound issues. Were Jesus and God "Christians" or "don't they have to be one?" Our eight-year-old friend is doing some serious thinking, and to be honest with you, that's a tough question to answer, but let me see what I can do. Let's begin by identifying what "God" we are talking about. Sometimes we use language and assume that everybody understands, when in reality they are talking about something entirely different.
Sanjay asks: How can we convert our “needs” into “wants?” Vanessa asks: How can we think upon the threat of a nuclear war, or the thought of America becoming a totalitarian state, or the loss of voting rights, without becoming anxious or depressed? Cliff asks: I have pure obsessive OCD and get stuck on intrusive thoughts. What should I do? Upcoming Questions in Ask David podcasts William asks: How would the T.E.A.M. model look with addiction and procrastination? Caroline asks: I've done Cost Benefit Analyses (CBAs) for many of my SDBs (Self-Defeating Beliefs), and the disadvantages greatly outweigh the advantages? What's the next step? Al asks: Can you help me with fear? Khoi asks: How do you deal with colleagues who gossip about your boss? Matt asks: How do we help patients who don't “get” the Acceptance Paradox? Edwin asks: What's the best treatment for internet surfing? It feels like my actions operate below the level of consciousness! Al asks: Can you help me with worrying and fear of symptoms? Paul asks: Are you planning on doing a podcast about people who are about to retire and are very anxious about the prospect and also depressed about closing that chapter in their lives? I'm in that boat Sanjay asks: How can we convert our “needs” into “wants?” Dear Dr. Burns I thank you for pointing out “dramatic shift” in the foot notes and it has given me immense satisfaction . So my learning from this is that ‘Low Level Solution' remains just a “first aid” only because it is still in the category of “NEED” has not yet moved into the category of “WANT”. A further question comes to mind So what is the process / formula to keep the deepest desires of ours from not entering into NEEDs and remain in the WANT zone. and yet we can work with highest passion and love to achieve them . OR in other words , how do you keep your biggest desire of your APP in the WANT zone and still maintains the highest level passion to achieve it . what is he process to reach that stage? You have already given us the answer to this and shown us the way towards Enlightenment via FOUR GREAT DEATHS of the “self.” Still if you would like to say something more that will help us to grasp the process of keeping the desires in WANT only. warm regards Sanjay David's reply In reply to Sanjay Gulati. You can also do two Cost-Benefit Analyses CBA. For example, the first might be a CBA on the Adv and Disadv of Needing love, achievement, or approval, for example, and the second would be a CBA on the Adv and Dis of Wanting the same. You could also use the semantic Technique. What could you tell yourself instead of “I NEED great achievement (or love or approval or whatever) to feel happy and fulfilled.” A third could be to do an experiment and see if it is really true that happiness always or only comes from achievement, love, approval, etc. A fourth strategy would be to do a Feared Fantasy and have a conversation, in imagination or in role play with a therapist, with someone who has achieved tremendously. That person would have to explain that she or he looks down on most other people because they haven't achieved as much, so s/he feels they are less worthwhile. You might suddenly discover that such a person doesn't actually seem especially “worthwhile,” but more of an egotistical type. With regard to the app, I'm just having fun with it, and making all kinds of amazing discoveries. Parts of it are really effective. Other parts are ineffective and need to be changed. But it is all an adventure. I can't control the outcome—will it be popular? Will we develop a business model that allows us to pay our bills? Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe partially. But to be honest, I don't really care! And not “caring” or “needing” frees me up to care way more effectively, and more creatively, and more lovingly. And with inner peace along the way. Here is something else. You begin to realize that there is no such thing as “failure,” only information. For example, if people don't like some lesson, or some word I have used, I just change it and make it better. Most of the negative and positive feedback is totally unexpected and surprising, which is really fun! I feel privileged, not pressured. These feelings are quite rewarding and addictive. I realize, too, that most people don't really care how “successful” I am, including you. Most people do appreciate it when I treat them well, however. Same with our cat that we adopted at the local humane society after her owner died. Might make this an Ask David if it is okay! Thanks, david By the way, you subsequently emailed me and asked me to comment on “intense wants” vs. “needs,” so here's a little more. When I was a young man, I used to collect antique paper money from around the world as a hobby. I can vividly recall seeing a rare uncut sheet of banknotes at a trade show that I feel in love with instantly. It was from the US Virgin Islands from the 1850s, if I recall correctly, and it consisted of a one thousand dollar bill and three five hundred dollar bills. It was gorgeous and I was instantly hypnotized, thinking it was one of the rarest and most desirable things in the world! But sadly, I was a poor graduate student and could not afford it, and I'm not sure the dealer, a really nice guy from New Mexico named Larry Parker, was willing to sell it. Finally, I gave up on it and stopped thinking about it. Years later, that exact same item came up in an auction in Los Angeles, and I was starting my clinical practice in Philadelphia. So I called the auctioneer, who I knew, just an hour or so before the end of the auction, and asked how much I should bid in order to be sure that I would win that intensely coveted item. At the time, the bidding was around $2,000, and I thought I could likely get a loan from the bank to buy it. The auctioneer told me that no matter how much I bid, there was no chance I could win it. I asked why. He said the wealthiest man in Caribbean was bidding on it and would pay any amount of money to get it, no matter what. I was devastated and felt my chance for true happiness and worthwhileness had just evaporated! My “intense want” was not fulfilled! Years later, similar notes started appearing in auctions, and I was able to figure out they were all reprints, including that original uncut sheet. Although they had some modest value, they were easy to obtain, and . . . suddenly I had no desire at all to own them! And it also dawned on me that all those years when I couldn't have that “fabulous” (or so I thought) uncut sheet, I'd been absolutely happy. So much for our so-called “needs!” Vanessa asks: How can we think upon the threat of a nuclear war, or the thought of America becoming a totalitarian state, or the loss of voting rights, without becoming anxious or depressed? Hi Dr. Burns, First off thank you so much for your podcast and books. They've helped me immensely grow and I am forever appreciative! Recently, I've been hearing statements like "American democracy may not be around in 10-15 years", "America is becoming a totalitarian state'', and "We're heading to nuclear war" from both sides of the political spectrum. All of these statements make me very anxious to hear. I know that thoughts create feelings, so even if something is true (like the threat of nuclear war, or that voting rights are being infringed upon, etc.), is there a way we can think upon these issues without becoming anxious or depressed over them? Thank you so much, Vanessa B. David's reply Hi Vanessa, Thanks. I'm sure many people have similar concerns. However, this is a very general question, and you have not given me any specific examples of your own negative thoughts. So, I can only give you an equally vague and general response, which is guaranteed not to be helpful. That's because general questions and answers tend to be little more than babbling. All that being said, I will say that there is a healthy and an unhealthy version of every negative feeling. So, some alarm and concern is probably totally appropriate and healthy, but getting crippled with excessive anxiety and depression is perhaps not useful. Healthy negative feelings result from valid negative thoughts; unhealthy negative feelings always result from distorted negative thoughts. But, as I pointed out, without a single example of your negative thoughts, all of the “good stuff” will remain unseen! Thanks. david PS I will make this an Ask David for an upcoming podcast. I have pure obsessive OCD and get stuck on intrusive thoughts. What should I do? Hey Doc! Very glad I ran into your work. Started with a video and have been reading and listening to your stuff for a couple days now. I've been diagnosed with OCD (PURE O). I struggle with intrusive thoughts. I have had a lot of trouble exposing myself to the thoughts in order to face them. I've tried a writing a narrative of my fears etc…. I just can't seem to get the right exposure. A couple examples: I get stuck on… I don't believe in God, or don't believe enough or that maybe there isn't a God? I get stuck on… what if I go crazy? I wish there was a dirty sink I could go touch or something tangible I could face. Any suggestions? Cliff (name disguised) David's reply Hi Cliff, Sure, and sorry you've been struggling, and fortunately, the prognosis is very positive. But I have a few questions so I'll know what you've done already. First, which of my books have you read, and did you do the written exercises while reading? For example, When Panic Attacks is all about techniques for anxiety. Second, have you done a search for OCD as well as anxiety on my website? You will find many resources. Third, have you completed the free anxiety test and class on my website? Fourth, sometimes a therapist with expertise in exposure can help with exposure, although that is one of a great many powerful techniques for treating anxiety. Trying to treat OCD or any form of anxiety with exposure alone is a huge mistake. Fifth, have you used the Hidden Emotion Technique? Let me know, and thanks. david Rhonda, Matt, and David
Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Career Podcasts! “Confidence is an internal process. It's all those decisions and all those conclusions you make. It has relatively little to do with what actually goes on in the world, and it has relatively everything to do with what goes on internally in this space between your ears.” - Dr. Nate Zinsser I'm excited to be back for Part 2 in our Finding Brave mini-series on confidence, where my special guest reveals the action steps and mindset shifts needed to overcome obstacles that often get in the way of us building our self-confidence. Dr. Nate Zinsser is an expert in the psychology of human performance who consults for individuals and organizations seeking a competitive edge. Nate's latest book, The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide for Unshakable Performance, hit shelves January 2022, and has been endorsed by two-time Super Bowl Champion and MVP Eli Manning, bestselling authors Jon Krakauer and Steven Pressfield, and US Olympic Bobsled Head Coach Mike Kohn. Nate was a regular consultant to the Philadelphia Flyers and New York Giants for twelve seasons and has been a keynote speaker for General Electric, Facebook, McDonald's, Staples, UBS, Major League Baseball, the NBA, and many more, as well as a consultant for the FBI Academy, the U.S. Army World Class Athlete Program, (mentoring four Olympic medalists), the U.S. Army Recruiting Command, and the U.S. Army Marksmanship Unit. Since 1992, he has directed a cutting-edge applied sport psychology program at the United States Military Academy's Center for Enhanced Performance, personally conducting over seventeen thousand individual training sessions and seven hundred team training sessions for cadets seeking the mental edge for athletic, academic, and military performance. He also helped launch the highly successful magazine Sports Illustrated for Kids and was presented with an American Library Association award for his 1991 children's book Dear Dr. Psych: A Kid's Guide to Handling Sports Problems. I truly believe that the work that Nate is doing is necessary for our success and greater wellbeing, and now is the time to make the choice to embrace these methods, follow the principles, and see where they take us. I've already incorporated what Nate shared in this conversation into my own life and work, and I would love to hear how you use the tips and strategies he shares to build your own confidence and self-trust in yourself. To learn more about today's guest, visit: https://natezinsser.com/
How do you protect your family from your writing, and your writing from your family? The queens get serious about grief, death, homophobia, and family issues. Dear Dr. Freud!First, some resources:If you're struggling with LGBTQIA+ mental health issues (or want to be an ally for someone who is), visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness website here. It has great resources!Another great resource list for queer and trans BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) can be found here.The Atlantic published an informative essay regarding family estrangement. You can read that here.If you are grieving a loss, GriefShare can provide some resources and support (including finding others who are going through approximate experiences).If you want to be an ally for LGBTQIA+ individuals, try:PFLAG (parents/friends)GLSEN (educators)Straight for Equality has some great workplace tips.them's Trans Voices series on YouTube This article shares 10 ways to be an ally to Black LGBT peopleShow references:Aaron's essay, "The Very Act of Telling: Sharon Olds and Writing Narrative Poetry" can be found online here. In it, Aaron writes: "Recently I saw a news article about a politician in Alabama who is introducing a bill to the legislature with the hopes of removing all public funding from libraries and universities that have books with gay or bisexual characters in them or that promote homosexuality as a valid lifestyle. My first thought was: This is absurd. Just because we aren't talked about doesn't mean that we don't exist. Then it occurred to me: If we aren't talked about, do we really exist?"The correct title of the Lisa Glatt book we reference is Monsters and Other Lovers. James's poem "Pittsburgh" can be found here.Aaron's poem "God Is Not Mocked" can be found here (scroll down) and the poem which his sister denies is true is here. The new book/manuscript of Aaron's that is discussed hast not been published. Please consider purchasing books through an independent bookstore. If you need a good one, we recommend Loyalty Books, a black-owned bookstore in Washington, DC that ships everywhere.
Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Career Podcasts! “Whether you're on an athletic team, a sales force, or a symphony orchestra, you better be honest about what you think about yourself. What you think about yourself and what you think about all the things that happen day by day, that's what constitutes your confidence.” - Dr. Nate Zinsser Confidence is a character trait that has relatively little to do with what happens to you, but rather it's a function of how you think. Today's Finding Brave guest reveals how you can change your level of confidence, but first you must be aware of certain things. You absolutely can develop confidence for any situation that you care to, and our guest shares the ways that confident performers think differently from the average person in order to do this. Dr. Nate Zinsser is an expert in the psychology of human performance who consults for individuals and organizations seeking a competitive edge. Nate's latest book, The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide for Unshakable Performance, hit shelves January 2022, and has been endorsed by two-time Super Bowl Champion and MVP Eli Manning, bestselling authors Jon Krakauer and Steven Pressfield, and US Olympic Bobsled Head Coach Mike Kohn. Nate was a regular consultant to the Philadelphia Flyers and New York Giants for twelve seasons and has been a keynote speaker for General Electric, Facebook, McDonald's, Staples, UBS, Major League Baseball, the NBA, and many more, as well as a consultant for the FBI Academy, the U.S. Army World Class Athlete Program, (mentoring four Olympic medalists), the U.S. Army Recruiting Command, and the U.S. Army Marksmanship Unit. Since 1992, he has directed a cutting-edge applied sport psychology program at the United States Military Academy's Center for Enhanced Performance, personally conducting over seventeen thousand individual training sessions and seven hundred team training sessions for cadets seeking the mental edge for athletic, academic, and military performance. He also helped launch the highly successful magazine Sports Illustrated for Kids and was presented with an American Library Association award for his 1991 children's book Dear Dr. Psych: A Kid's Guide to Handling Sports Problems. I'm beyond excited to bring you the first installment of this special two-part mini-series with Nate on the subject of confidence, and I've loved learning from a master on this topic as it's something that I teach about often in my courses and in my career and leadership coaching. This is an excellent opportunity to learn, grow, and stretch our understanding of confidence, and I'll see you back here next week for the conclusion of this riveting conversation! To learn more about today's guest, visit: https://natezinsser.com/
Dr. Nate Zinsser is the director of West Point's Performance Psychology Program, the nation's gold standard curriculum for teaching and training the mental skills that underlie excellence in any human performance – confidence despite setbacks, concentration despite distractions, and composure under pressure. Dr. Zinsser has been the lead performance psychologist at West Point since 1992. He previously taught sport psychology at East Stroudsburg University and in the University of Virginia's Continuing Education Division. He is a Certified Mental Performance Coach with the Association for Applied Sport Psychology and presents nationwide to university, professional athletic, and corporate groups. Dr. Zinsser is the author of Dear Dr. Psych, the first sport psychology guidebook for youth sport participants, six textbook chapters on building confidence, and an advice column to Sports Illustrated for Kids which ran for 5 years. He has been interviewed for sport psychology content by ESPN, the BBC, MSNBC, Men's Health, Runner's World, Outside, Muscle Media, and Army Times. Dr. Zinsser earned his doctorate in sport psychology from the University of Virginia, his master's degree from Columbia University, and his bachelor's degree from Hampshire College. His sport psychology training is complemented by his experience as a state wrestling champion, elite level mountaineer, and lifetime practitioner of Japanese karate and meditative disciplines. Originally from New Jersey, Dr. Zinsser lives in Fishkill, NY with his wife of 37 years.New Book 'The Confident Mind' get it here:Follow The Story Box on Social Media► INSTAGRAM ► TWITTER ► FACEBOOK ► WEBSITE SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE! ► Apple Podcast ► Spotify WATCH HERE:► YouTube Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/thestorybox. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend, "I'm in my early 20's and find it very difficult to meet other people. I'm so lonely. What can I do?" Scores of people can identify with the feeling--parties, people, laughter, entertainment and perhaps even good food, yet you feel so inadequate that you ask yourself, "What am I doing here? I just don't fit."
266: Ask Matt, Rhonda, and David: Can we solve the pain in the world? How can we deal with someone who might weaponize our vulnerability? What can I do about my emotional eating? And more! Today's podcast features awesome questions from viewers like you, with answers from Rhonda, David, and our brilliant guest expert, Dr. Matthew May. Here's the list of questions, followed by partial answers (prepared prior to the podcast) from David. Ezgi Asks: Is there any way to solve pain in the world? Some people are committing suicide because they don't wanna suffer anymore. Is there any way to "finish" the suffering while we are still living in this world? Megan asks: Hi David, I was wondering what your thoughts are about using the five secrets when in communication with someone who may not be coming from a place of love or respect, or someone who might weaponize your vulnerability, such as someone with narcissistic tendencies? Telia asks: Could you please do another episode on compulsive emotional eating? I have suffered with this my whole life. Daniele asks: What “upsetting event” should I put at the top of my Daily Mood Log? Does it have to be the event that triggered your depression? Anca asks: Should I work on a different upsetting event every day and do a Daily Mood Log? What about the days when I don't have any distorted negative thoughts? Oliver asks: Dear Dr. Burns, How much time do you require your patients to spend on their daily psychotherapy homework (Daily Mood Journal)? What is overkill when doing Positive Reframing? Sarah asks: Hi Doctor Burns! Your podcasts have been so helpful! I want to know what you would have said to the husband, in this episode, if he were the one that came to you, first, about the marriage.(By way of explanation, Sarah is referring to an episode on the Five Secrets where the wife was blaming her husband for saying, “You never listen” for 25 years, and was shocked to discover that she was causing the very problem she was complaining about.) * * * Ezgi Asks: Is there any way to solve pain in the world? Some people are committing suicide because they don't wanna suffer anymore. Is there any way to "finish" the suffering while we are still living in this world? Thanks, Ezgi, I will read and answer this on an upcoming Ask David. I have committed my life to helping people who ask for help with depression, anxiety, and other problems. I do not evangelize or reach out, trying to convert people to some new way of thinking and feeling. Also, I only work with people one to one, (or in groups), and I think healing must begin with yourself. There are tons of free resources on my website, plus my books, like Feeling Good, and others, can be invaluable, including on the topic of suicide. You can get used copies inexpensively on Amazon, too! All the best, david * * * After Hearing Podcast 14 on the Five Secrets Megan asks: Hi David, I was wondering what your thoughts are about using the five secrets when in communication with someone who may not be coming from a place of love or respect, or someone who might weaponize your vulnerability, such as someone with narcissistic tendencies? Thank you, I appreciate you and all you do to make the world a kinder and gentler place. David's Response Hi Megan, Please provide a specific example. What did the other person say, and what, exactly, did you say next. One exchange is enough. Then we can do something amazing, and not just BS on an abstract level that will be useless. You see yourself, based on your note, as the sweet innocent victim of the other person's "badness." Once we have a specific example of an interaction that did not go well, and you focus on your own role, things will suddenly fall into a shockingly different perspective. david Will include this in an Ask David. * * * Telia asks: Hi David, Thank you so much for your free information and podcast #155 on emotional eating. Could you please do another episode on compulsive emotional eating? I have suffered with this my whole life. I listened to episode 155 but I need more help like actual questions to ask myself or tools to use in the moment. I have suffered with this my entire life, and I know with your help I can be free from it. Thank you Telia from Australia David's Response Hi Telia, Check out the free chapter(s) offer on bottom of my website home page. Full instructions are right there. Feel free to contact me if any questions after following the guidelines there, and doing the exercises on paper. d * * * Daniele asks: What “upsetting event” should I put at the top of my Daily Mood Log? Does it have to be the event that triggered your depression? Hello Dr. Burns, i am reading your second book, Feeling Great. The first one, the new mood couldn't help me or i couldn't get it done right. And now i am trying Feeling Great. I like the book and your thoughts. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since 2014 - on and off. Lately more on.... My biggest problem with the exercise is that you have to put an event that make you depressed. I don't know exactly why it started and i so it's difficult to find an event. What can I do? I feel depressed and don't know why. These days the fact that i couldn't get rid of the depression for so long is the main reason why i am depressed. Thanks for your help, Daniele from Italy David's Response Hi Daniele, You just have to focus on one specific moment when you were upset and want help. It can even be the moment when you are working with the Daily Mood Log. d Thank you, Dr. Burns! Daniele * * * Anca asks: Do I have to complete a Daily Mood Log every day? Hello Dr Burns, Thank you so much for the podcast and all the wonderful resources you are gifting to the world! I've been listening for the last 3 months, and I can say that your discussions with your colleagues and patients have improved my mindset and my perspective on life. They helped me to identify feelings of self-blame and other-blame that I didn't even know I had. I also didn't realize how toxic they were. I've bought the Feeling Great Book and completed 2 Daily Mood Journals. I am still in the beginning and try to improve my skills for challenging the negative thoughts. I am just wondering if I am approaching this correctly - sorry if I missed this from the book - Do I need to complete the Daily Mood Log every day? I am asking this because on the days I do feel down and do have a negative event and thoughts, it takes me a lot of time to complete the log, around 2 hours. On other days I feel ok, and don't have upsetting distorted thoughts. Should I record one negative event every day, with all the negative emotions and thoughts that come with it, or work on the same upsetting event every day, taking on one or 2 thoughts at a time? Thank you for your support and your generosity. With Gratitude, Anca David's Response Hi Anca, Will make this an Ask David. The short question is that you can work on the DML a little bit every day. I would aim for 15 to 20 minutes a day, like meditation. On some days, you will want to put in more time, which is fine, but you get 100% credit after 15 – 20 minutes. You can work on a DML over several days. This is just one idea, and ultimately you are in charge! Congrats on the fantastic work you are doing! david David * * * Oliver asks: Dear Dr. Burns, How much time do you require your patients to spend on their daily psychotherapy homework (Daily Mood Journal)? And how much time did they actually spend on a mood journal? From my experience, I seldom complete them in 2 hours, the time you set up for one session. A daily mood journal with 5 negative thoughts would often cost me 4 to 6 hours. I am wondering how much time your patients usually spend on one daily mood journal? Besides, when I was filling out one daily mood log, more upsetting events would float in my head. To avoid being distracted, I recorded the second upsetting event on another Daily Mood Journal. But I found I never had the chance to work on it because I seldom completed the first event. I am now unemployed, so I have enough time to work on an upsetting event, even if it cost me far more than 2 hours. However, I doubt if full-time employed people have enough time to do this homework, without sacrificing the time to be spent on families, sleeping, sports, and other activities. That is somewhat upsetting. Do you require your patients to finish a Daily Mood Journal in one day? I believe the guidance on this topic is not only important for me, but also for all of your readers and patients. And another question that confuses me is that what is overkill when doing Positive Reframing? And when to decide it will be overkill or not? Thanks. Oliver Smith David's Response Thanks, Oliver. You can do a DML over several days, no need to complete it all at once. 15 to 30 minutes per day would be excellent. ON Positive Reframing, I wait until we “get a feel for it,” and we generally have listed a dozen or even 20 or so positives. I have an app I'm working on that will help with these questions. Will read your question on an Ask David, perhaps. Thanks! * * * Sarah asks: Hi Doctor Burns! Your podcasts have been so helpful! I want to know what you would have said to the husband, in this episode, if he were the one that came to you, first, about the marriage. If we all cause the very relationship problems that we are complaining about, what is it that the husband is doing to cause Sarah not to listen to him and explode in anger? I see that Sarah is not able to listen and empathize, however, It seems like the husband is able to listen and empathize. What would his next step be? Thanks! Sara David's Response Thanks, Sara. This is an interesting but abstract question, and I never find that answering them is productive, as 100% of the learning is in the specific example. If he were asking for help, I would ask him to write down one thing that his wife said, as well as what, exactly, he said next, thinking of an exchange that didn't go well, and an example he wanted help with. Then we'd use the EAR technique to analyze his communication errors and show how he's causing the exact problem he's complaining about, followed by a revised response using the Five Secrets. You could do that for yourself, and we'll see what YOU might be able to learn! For example, what is something someone said to you, and what, exactly did you say next? Or, you could make up an example for me to comment on. * * * That's it for today! Rhonda, Matt, and David
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines. "Your messages…are uplifting. I oftentimes tell myself, what is life for? Why should one person be more hurt than others? Why must one's life be lived until you succumb to death? Why can't one evaporate, vanish on one's command, if life is untenable? Can you give some answers to these questions?"
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a listener. "First and foremost, I'm mad. Really mad at my life. It's the pits. All of my life, God has been unfair to me. He put me in a dysfunctional family, made me endure things you wouldn't imagine possible and made me ugly. I feel so ugly because people respond to me in a way that I don't like." The last sentence reads, "I wrote this as a last resort." And it is signed, "Whipsawed by Confusion."
The moment by moment catastrophic news these days are more than disturbing… they're creating a lot of anxiety. Seeing humans and animals suffer is a deep seated pain for most of us. But for some, seeing that is darkly thrilling. This episode goes a little deep with my thoughts on the subject and my “french” gets worse and worse as you hear my emotions come out. We have to fix our world. But we have to understand what we're up against too. You may not be familiar with today's subject but it is intricately woven into our fix. And I have resources for you. My gift. Then YOU can be part of the solution of awareness. Visit HoneySmithWalls.com for that Dear Dr. Letter And find that book title I'm reading here: The Genetic Lottery-Why DNA Matters For Social Equality. https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAudiobook?id=1585252225 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/cannabaverum/support
Dear Dr. Sala, can you explain why God let my dog get hit by a car and die?" There are some questions that even theologians struggle to answer. So should a parent tell a youngster than his dog is now with Jesus in heaven? Or should he or she tell him that when animals die, that's it? Or what should a parent say to assuage the loss of a child's pet? Many adults do not really understand the bond that exists between a child and his pet. When I was a youngster I had a dog that was my constant companion, and when my dog finally died, I was a young man in college, but I wept when I got news that Coalie was no longer with us.
Seeking more ways to Amplify Your Business? Take our free Amplified Assessment to see how your business stacks up and receive tips to improve your score at: https://growthamplifiers.com/amplified-assessment/ Matthew Moseley is a communications strategist and principal at Ignition Strategy Group, Boulder Colorado. He has spent his career at the intersection of public policy, business and government and has managed many public affairs projects and campaigns for organizations and companies. He is also a writer and adventure swimmer. No communications challenge is too big or small—or even too bizarre. Moseley was hired by Johnny Depp to be the family spokesperson and communications director for Hunter S. Thompson's funeral and ash-blast. He was also the family spokesperson for Lisl Auman who was freed from prison from a lifetime sentence for felony murder. He has written a book called “Dear Dr. Thompson: Felony Murder, Hunter Thompson and the Last Gonzo Campaign.” Moseley served as the communications director for the Colorado Senate under President Joan Fitz-Gerald. He was a press officer for the United States Olympic Committee at the 2004 games in Athens, Greece, where he wrote numerous articles for national publications and was “Our man inside the Olympics” for the Denver Post. Other experiences include being the national field director for Rock the Vote in Los Angeles. In 1998, he served as the deputy press secretary under White House communications director Mike McCurry for the Denver Summit of the Eight (G7 Summit). Matthew Moseley is also an accomplished open water swimmer. On June 11, 2014 he completed the first ever-solo swim crossing of Lake Pontchartrain for 25 miles in 14 hours and 55 minutes and was the subject of a documentary by emmy-award winning filmmaker Wayne Ewing titled Dancing in the Water (trailer below). He also completed the first ever crossing from the Island of Culebra to Fajardo, Puerto Rico of 24 miles as well as well as 47.5 miles down the Colorado River from Moab to the Confluence of the Green River last summer making three first ever swims in a 13 month period. What You'll Learn: THE IDEA: There is a connection between success and effective communication THE WHY: If people don't understand or believe in a vision, then it's hard to be successful. THE ACTION: Create a communication plan Highlights: Actionable tips to improve your communication How to make words more powerful and persuasive Why it is important to be a participant and not a spectator Learn more at https://ignitionstrategygroup.com/ https://www.matthewlmoseley.net/bio.html
The cannabis literature I'm reading daily is quite interesting but so are the back stories of the doctors and scientists doing the work. This episode highlights some of the fascinating medical professionals writing resource books and white papers and giving public lectures and conferences open to everyone… it's a phenomenal moment in history to be learning about this plant. Join me for a little book learnin by the pro's… And find all the books I mention below in the show notes. Enjoy the list… it's ever hanging and growing. Dr. Dustin Sulak, DO, healer.com. Dr. Michelle Ross, PhD, https://drmicheleross.com/ Dr. Angie Krause, DVM. https://boulderholisticvet.com/ Dr. Genester Wilson-King https://victoryrejuvenationcenter.com/dr-genester-wilson-king. Dr. Raphael Mechoulam https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7593926/. Dr. Ethan Russo. https://www.linkedin.com/in/ethan-russo-md-468b19a. Lester Grinspoon. https://www.amazon.com/Marihuana-Reconsidered-Grinspoon/dp/0932551130. Ed Rosenthal. https://www.edrosenthal.com/ Michael Backes https://www.amazon.com/Michael-Backes/e/B00J4LMK22%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share Michael Pollan https://michaelpollan.com/ HoneySmithWalls.com for that Dear Dr letter. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/cannabaverum/support
It's In the News... the top diabetes stories of the past seven days! This week, what did lockdown mean for BG trends, Provention Bio keeps fighting for Teplizumab, the FTC shuts down diabetes schlockmeisters and if you're still using the Dexcom G5 - you need to hear this... Join Stacey live on Facebook each Wednesday at 4:30pm EDT to watch live. Check out Stacey's book: The World's Worst Diabetes Mom! Join the Diabetes Connections Facebook Group! Sign up for our newsletter here ----- Use this link to get one free download and one free month of Audible, available to Diabetes Connections listeners! ----- Get the App and listen to Diabetes Connections wherever you go! Click here for iPhone Click here for Android Episode transcription and links below Hello and welcome to Diabetes Connections In the News! I'm Stacey Simms and these are the top diabetes stories and headlines of the past seven days. As always, I'm going to link up my sources in the Facebook comments – where we are live – and in the show notes at d-c dot com when this airs as a podcast.. so you can read more if you want, on your own schedule. XX In the News is brought to you by Real Good Foods! Find their Entrée Bowls and all of their great products in your local grocery store, Target or Costco. XX Our top story.. What did COVID lockdown mean for blood sugar trends? A new study says when they had to stay at home, people with type 1 significantly improved while the opposite happened for those with type 2. You should know these studies all come from European countries with pretty strict lockdowns and they're an aggregate – a look at a bunch of previously conducted studies. With type 1, time in range improved significantly in 83% of the studies looked at here.. with type 2, almost half of the studies showed a clear decrease in blood sugar control, with higher A1Cs. So what happened? There's a lot of speculation but these researchers suggest less exercise and more snacking and more stress is to blame for the type 2 numbers.. although in my opinion the same could be said for all people with diabetes. They also suppose that the lockdown gave parents more time to look after kids with type 1 and gave young adults a more predictable routine. I hope another study is done on this in the US where, frankly – access to insulin & health care providers may have become more of an issue during the pandemic https://www.news-medical.net/news/20210913/COVID-19-lockdown-linked-to-improved-glycemic-control-in-type-1-diabetes.aspx XX Bit of an update - Provention Bio moving forward to answer the FDA's questions and hopefully resubmit. This is for Teplizumab the first drug shown to prevent type 1 diabetes for – so far- up to three years.. although the FDA turned it down in July. Provention says they continue to collect data and are moving to set up what's called a Formal Type A meeting to submit that new information. The company's CEO says they believe they're making significant progress to address the observations cited by the FDA and continue to work with urgency. https://finance.yahoo.com/news/provention-bio-provides-potential-timing-113000253.html?soc_src=social-sh&soc_trk=tw&tsrc=twtr XX Bunch of schlock-meisters got called out last week by the US FDA and FTC – that's the Federal Trade Commission. 10 companies got warning letters alleging they were selling illegal dietary supplements to cure or prevent diabetes. Regulators wrote the products cited in the warning letters are considered unapproved new drugs – they include things like turmeric, bitter melon, ginkgo biloba and more.. The report cites the increasing cost of insulin and other diabetes medications as a reason why people are turning to alternatives, even if they aren't proven.. Please.. be careful out there. https://www.naturalproductsinsider.com/supplements/regulators-target-diabetes-supplements-recent-warnings-about-claims Quick additional FTC note – they held a virtual open meeting today. Two people from the diabetes community spoke about rising insulin prices. If you'd like to learn more I'll link up the information. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/press-releases/2021/09/ftc-announces-tentative-agenda-september-15-open-commission XX We don't talk a lot about shots – multiple daily injections – but here's some good news about the basics. New study shows rotating sites and using smaller needles really do help. You've likely heard of LY-po-hy-PER-tro-fee.. it's when lumps of fat or scar tissue form under your skin. These Belgian researchers did a six month study where they provided smaller pen needles and did a lot of education, including an online platform where they taught proper injection techniques, including not re-using needles. They reduced what they called unexplained high blood glucose significantly and glucose variability decreased as well. A1Cs stayed about the same. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/dme.14672 XX No surprise but still disappointing – insurance is what's dictating whether young children are more likely to use a CGM regularly. This was published in Diabetes Technology & Therapeutics. Those on public or government insurance often face more obstacles. This was a study of children ages 1-6 years, within two months of diagnosis. 82-percent used a CGM at least once during the study period.. but they divided everyone into 4 groups – always used CGM, stable use, inconsistent use or never used. Families with private insurance were more likely to be in the always group or the stable group than those with public insurance. And.. The “always” group had an A1C that was 1.3% lower than the “never” group https://www.healio.com/news/endocrinology/20210907/private-insurance-determines-cgm-use-by-young-children-with-type-1-diabetes XX More to come, including a Dexcom G5 update! But first, I want to tell you about one of our great sponsors who helps make Diabetes Connections possible. Real Good Foods. Where the mission is Be Real Good They make nutritious foods— grain free, high in protein, never added sugar and from real ingredients—the new Entrée bowls are great. They have a chicken burrito, a cauliflower mash and braised beef bowl.. the lemon chicken I've told you about and more! They keep adding to the menu line! You can buy online or find a store near you with their locator right on the website. I'll put a link in the FB comments and as always at d-c dot com. Back to the news… Heads up if you're still – somehow – using the Dexcom G5. More than a year ago, Dexcom stopped selling the G5 and G4.. but – and thanks to the listeners who brought this to my attention – the G5 app is now sending out a notification.. On October 4th the Dexcom G5 app will no longer be available. As they've shared with us on the podcast many times, they've been transitioning everyone over to the G6 and will soon move on to the G7. No timeline on that btw I know you're going to ask. But as far as we know, it hasn't been submitted to the FDA and Dexcom has said it will go for European approval first. -- And finally don't forget to send me your Dear Dr. Banting audio! What would you say to the man credited with the discovery of insulin? All the details and how to send it to me is in the show notes. -- Please join me wherever you get podcasts for our next episode - The episode out right now is all about the new Walmart Insulin.. will it save you money? That's In the News for this week.. if you like it, please share it! Thanks for joining me! See you back here soon.
It's "In the News..." the top diabetes headlines of the past seven days. This week: Why is COVID more dangerous with diabetes? A new study says technology (like pumps and CGMs) doesn't help "Diabetes Distress," more screening recommended for "social risk" of type 2, bioartificial pancreas research and there's a T1D Superhero movie in the works! -- Links and transcript below Check out Stacey's book: The World's Worst Diabetes Mom! Join the Diabetes Connections Facebook Group! Sign up for our newsletter here ----- Use this link to get one free download and one free month of Audible, available to Diabetes Connections listeners! ----- Get the App and listen to Diabetes Connections wherever you go! Click here for iPhone Click here for Android Hello and welcome to Diabetes Connections In the News! I'm Stacey Simms and these are the top diabetes stories and headlines of the past seven days. As always, I'm going to link up my sources in the Facebook comments – where we are live – and in the show notes at d-c dot com when this airs as a podcast.. so you can read more if you want, on your own schedule. XX In the News is brought to you by Real Good Foods! Find their Entrée Bowls and all of their great products in your local grocery store, Target or Costco. XX Our top story this week.. type 2 diabetes has been identified for a while now as one of the main risk factors for severe COVID-19. New research from the University of Michigan says the culprit appears to be an enzyme called SETDB2, which is part of the reason why wounds don't heal well in some people with diabetes. Put very simply, as levels of this enzyme went down, inflammation during COVID went up. There is already a protein – Interferon – that is known to increase levels of this enzyme.. These researchers hope their findings will help in clinical trials of interferon or other treatments. They also say it's important to go through a patient's medical history to better target treatment for COVID. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2021-09-people-diabetes-severe-covid-.html XX Interesting study about young adults and what these researchers call Diabetes Distress. The study shows Distress – which they don't really define, but what sounds like depression or burnout or other mental health struggles – is associated with higher A1Cs. Not too much of a surprise, but they also found it doesn't matter if these young adults using insulin pumps or CGMs or just multiple daily injections. This Yale study was done by looking at past surveys of more than 400 people aged 18-29 in NY. They found that while users of insulin pumps and CGMs have overall lower A1Cs, the benefit of device use diminishes when high diabetes distress is present. https://www.healio.com/news/endocrinology/20210908/diabetes-distress-associated-with-higher-hba1c-for-young-adults-regardless-of-device-use XX Certain racial and ethnic minorities develop type 2 diabetes at a younger age than white Americans. That means , current diabetes screening and prevention practices for them may be inadequate and inequitable This Northwestern Medicine study says American adults are diagnosed with type 2 at an average age of 50, but for Black and Mexican American adults it's 4 to 7 years earlier. And more than 25% of that group report a diagnosis before turning 40. Recommended screening time is important not just for better health but because screenings are almost always only covered by insurance when the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends them. If that sounds familiar, that's the group that recently announced new guidelines that lowered the recommended age from 40 to 35 to start screening adults who are overweight or obese for type 2 diabetes. Future research should consider whether even earlier screening is indicated among individuals with exposure to social risks, the study authors said. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2021-09-black-mexican-american-adults-diabetes.html XX Very early on but promising results for what's being called a bio- artificial pancreas. This is a tiny implantable device that holds insulin-secreting cells in a compartment protecting them from the body's autoimmune response. The micro-encapsulation device has the potential to be an autonomous system that would not require constant refilling and replacement of insulin cartridges, according to these researchers. The prototype has two separate chambers — one that collects nutrients from the device's surroundings, and one that houses the protected cells. Lots of work before this one's ready for clinical trials https://interestingengineering.com/a-bioartificial-pancreas-could-substantially-enhance-type-1-diabetes-treatment XX More to come, including news about a T1D superhero movie, but first, I want to tell you about one of our great sponsors who helps make Diabetes Connections possible. Real Good Foods. Where the mission is Be Real Good They make nutritious foods— grain free, high in protein, never added sugar and from real ingredients— I was in Target this week and I saw the new Entrée bowls, I bought the Lemon Chicken and the Lasagna. The Lemon chicken was great! It uses hearts of palm pasta instead of regular noodles which I thought sounded odd but really tasted good. They keep adding to the menu line! You can buy online or find a store near you with their locator right on the website. I'll put a link in the FB comments and as always at d-c dot com. Back to the news… And a Big boost for diabetes camps. Lilly Diabetes will commit nearly $1 million over the next three years in a joint effort with the Helmsley Charitable Trust to the Type 1 Diabetes Camps Initiative. The money is going specifically to non-profit diabetes camping organizations nationwide serving low-income youth living with T1D. and help diabetes camps adapt to the physical requirements of COVID-19 and better serve youth living with T1D via capital improvements. https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/lilly-diabetes-joins-the-leona-m-and-harry-b-helmsley-charitable-trust-to-pledge-significant-funding-to-type-1-diabetes-camps-initiative-301368797.html XX A new movie with a superhero who lives with type 1 is coming to theaters next summer. Called “Gum-she: The Type 1 Protector,” it's created by Jermaine Hargrove, diagnosed with type one 15 years ago as an adult. The main character Justice Johnson has diabetes but it's not the cause of her superpower. That comes from the bubble gum she's always chewing and she's able to shoot gum from her palms to help her save the world. The American Diabetes Association is partnering on the film and promoting it.. one of the big themes is health equity.. There is a great article in diabetes mine all about this, I'll link that up. In it, Hargrove says Bubble gum brings everyone together. Like music: it's everywhere.” I'm excited about this – but I have to say – if this had come out when my kids were little – I would be hiding all of the bubble gum. If you watch the teaser trailer – she is shooting bubble gum everywhere! Using it to create bridges and running around like spider man. So.. it looks really cute but knowing my kids? Again.. I'd have to hide the gum. Watch for the trailer on world diabetes day – nov 14. The full film will be released next summer. https://www.healthline.com/diabetesmine/a-new-diabetes-superhero-movie-you-wont-want-to-miss https://gumshe.com/ XX Please join me wherever you get podcasts for our next episode - The episode out right now is with Ethan Orr – the Colorado high school swimmer removed from his meet because of his the medical tape over his CGM. And send me your Dear Dr. Banting audio! What would you say to the man credited with the discovery of insulin? All the details and how to send it to me is in the show notes. That's In the News for this week.. if you like it, please share it! Thanks for joining me! See you back here soon.
On this episode of Common Mystics Jennifer and Jill discuss a family of renowned doctors from the early 20th century. The Menninger family became giants in the psychiatric community. At a time when the mentally ill had few treatment options, they created an outpatient clinic in Topeka that focused on mental health. But the family standout was Dr. Karl Menninger. After publishing his first book in 1930, he contributed to a widely read advice column in the Ladies Home Journal. In it, he offered his expertise to those who wrote in for advice on topics that included sexuality and relationships. Perhaps Dr. Karl should have heeded his own advice. Listen in as Jennifer and Jill uncover the sordid details surrounding the clinic and the private life of Dr. Karl Menninger. Transcripts of this episode can be found here S2E13_ Transcript Dear Dr. Menninger in Topeka, KS. Link not working? Find transcripts to our pods and more at https://commonmystics.net/ Thanks for listening! Support us on Patreon and get exclusive bonus content and monthly video calls with Jen & Jill!!! https://www.patreon.com/commonmystics
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes a friend of Guidelines, "Every time I try to befriend someone of the opposite sex, they interpret my friendship as a romantic gesture. This really bothers me, and it is not my intention. Can't we just be friends?"
On this episode of Common Mystics Jennifer and Jill discuss a family of renowned doctors from the early 20th century. The Menninger family became giants in the psychiatric community. At a time when the mentally ill had few treatment options, they created an outpatient clinic in Topeka that focused on mental health. But the family […]
A high school swimmer with diabetes is told he can't compete at the state championships because of his CGM's medical tape. It's a story that's been all over social media and national news outlets. What really happened here? We talk to Ethan Orr and his mother, Amanda Terrell-Orr. They explain what happened that day, what they'd like to see change and what we can all do to protect our rights when it comes to diabetes. Also this week! Send us your "Dear Dr. Banting" audio! Details here This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. ----- Use this link to get one free download and one free month of Audible, available to Diabetes Connections listeners! ----- Get the App and listen to Diabetes Connections wherever you go! Click here for iPhone Click here for Android Episode transcription below: Stacey Simms 0:00 Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dario Health. Manage your blood glucose levels increase your possibilities by Gvoke Hypopen the first premixed auto injector for very low blood sugar and by Dexcom help make knowledge your superpower with the Dexcom G6 continuous glucose monitoring system. This is Diabetes Connections with Stacey Simms. This week, you've likely seen the story of a high school swimmer with diabetes told he can't compete at the state championships because of the CGM, his medical team what really happened here, we talked to Ethan Orr and his mother. Amanda Terrell-Orr 0:41 The whole point of the rule is to prevent a swimmer from having a competitive advantage. You would not have to be someone who understood type 1 diabetes to look at what even had on his arm and know that of course that would not cause the competitive advantage. Of course, it was just medical tape covering up a medical device. Stacey Simms 1:00 Amanda Terrell Orr and 16 year old Ethan join me to explain in their own words, what happened that day, what they'd like to see change and what we can all do to protect our rights when it comes to diabetes. This podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you have those kinds of questions, please contact your health care provider. Welcome to another week of the show. Always so glad to have you here. We aim to educate and inspire about diabetes with a focus on people who use insulin. I'm your host, Stacey Simms, my son, Benny was diagnosed with type one right before he turned two. That was almost 15 years ago. My husband lives with type two diabetes. I don't have diabetes, I have a background in broadcasting. And that is how you get the podcast. Before we jump in. I need your help. I am trying something for November. I want to hear your dear Dr. Banting stories and letters. I posted this on social media. If you're in the Facebook group Diabetes Connections of the group or you get my emails, you will be seeing this this week and for the next couple of weeks. Because all the month of September. I'm asking you to record some audio. It's very simple. Just do it on your phone. As part of the dear Dr. Banting exhibit. We talked to the folks at Banting house the museum where Dr. Frederick Banting had his eureka moment where he came up with the idea that led to the discovery of insulin with other people. But Banting house has an exhibit called dear Dr. Banting. And I go much more in depth on this. It's a Diabetes connections.com. It's on my social media. I'm asking you, what would you say if you could thank Dr. Banting for yourself for your child? Right, just thank him. So all the specifics are in the show notes. Basically just try to keep it to a minute. I'd like to play these back during the month of November. I'm really looking forward to what you have to say. Don't worry about making it perfect. Just try not to have too much background noise use your phone's voice memo app doesn't have to be anything fancy and send it to me Stacy at Diabetes connections.com I cannot wait to hear what you have to say. Alright if you haven't heard and boy this was all over social media last week and this week. Here's a quick synopsis of what has been reported. Amanda and Ethan will go much more in depth and and frankly set a few things straight that were reported a little bit inaccurately even has type 1 diabetes. He was diagnosed at age 10. He wears a Dexcom G6 he uses simpatch the brand of the tape is not important, but you should know that he wears the medical tape over the Dexcom as many people do, and that's pretty much what does that issue here. He also wears a Tandem t slim x two pump that he removes most of the time when he swims. Ethan swam all season for his high school in Colorado Springs. No issue he had the CGM on for every meet. But at the state championship, as you'll hear, it became an issue. And I'll let me tell that story. But you should know going in is that this is not a lawsuit. The family is not suing for damages or anything like that they filed a complaint with the United States Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division. This is not about money. And you may have also heard that the CHS at the Colorado high school activities Association, which is receiving the complaint here. They say that Ethan did not have a signed medical authorization to have something like this. Well, he has a signed 504 plan. So does that overrule? Or could that be looked at is in place of what they're talking about in terms of medical authorization to wear tape in the pool because it applies to his diabetes and his diabetes medical management plan, USA swim, that governing body does allow medical tape. So there's a lot going on here and I think it's more in depth. And then you've seen in certainly a lot of these media reports, as well done as they are, you know, these people don't speak diabetes, they don't cover diabetes on a regular basis. So it's really excited that Amanda and Ethan agreed to come on and share their story where we could really kind of drill down and figure out what happened here and more importantly to me learn what we can all do to prepare our kids for sports and to kind of learn what we can all do to stand up for ourselves when it comes to diabetes. Right. Okay, so quick housekeeping note, I'm nosy I like to talk to people so we set the table for a while here I talk about his diagnosis story how he adjusted to swimming you know all that kind of stuff. So if you're just here for the lawsuit stuff, we don't talk about the actual swim meet until about 12 minutes into the interview. So you could go ahead and skip ahead I'm not offended but just know that there's some getting to know you stuff that happens before we talk about the nitty gritty Alright, Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Gvoke Hypopen and when you have diabetes and use insulin, low blood sugar can happen when you don't expect it. That's what most of us carry fast acting sugar and in the case of very low blood sugar, why do we carry emergency glucagon there's a new option called Gvoke Hypopen the first auto injector to treat very low blood sugar Gvoke Hypopen is pre mixed and ready to go with no visible needle in usability studies. 99% of people were able to give Gvoke correctly find out more go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the Gvoke Logo. Gvoke shouldn't be used in patients with pheochromocytoma or insulinoma visit Gvoke glucagon comm slash risk. Amanda and Ethan, thank you so much. We did this on short notice I really appreciate you coming on and sharing your story. Amanda Terrell-Orr 6:27 You're welcome. Thank you for having us. Thank you. Stacey Simms 6:31 And Ethan, you got up pretty early to do this. I am East Coast, your West Coast. So I appreciate that very much. Ethan Orrr 6:35 It's all good. Stacey Simms 6:39 Let's back up a little bit before we jump into what happened here and the lawsuit and everything. Amanda, let me start with you. Tell me your diagnosis story. Amanda Terrell-Orr 6:48 Sure. So Ethan was 10 when he was diagnosed, and our diagnosis story, I think is fairly typical of other people we had noticed, Ethan's teachers had noticed that we had noticed that he was going to the bathroom way more than usual. So I took him to his pediatrician and expressed some concern about that didn't really know what might be happening. They did a test of his urine. And it didn't show any kinds of problems with sugar or ketones or anything like that. So we just sort of stopped at that point. And then you know, weeks go by, and this is still happening. We went on a small vacation and even drank all the bottled water that we had, and was still going to the bathroom all the time. And then the day before Easter that year even had been kind of wrestling with a friend. And he started to be short of breath. And he also felt like really like something was wrong. So the morning of Easter, we wake up and I look in his mouth, and I see white spots in his mouth. And I say to him, it's time we need to go to urgent care. So in the back of my mind this whole time has been some education that I saw on a friend's Facebook post about type 1 diabetes, her son has type one. And she always posts educational information. And so in the back of my mind, I was thinking, I wonder if the test whatever they did at the pediatrician was wrong. So we go to urgent care, they test them for strep throat, of course. And then I mentioned to the doctor that I'm concerned because of these other symptoms. The doctor, of course, has someone test his blood sugar. And luckily for him, it wasn't extremely high. He wasn't NDK. But urgent care at that time, send us directly to the hospital. So Ethan really stayed a day in the hospital. And the next morning, we were able to connect with the Barbara Davis center part of Children's Hospital in Colorado. It's an excellent place for treatment of kids with type one. So we were able to go there and immediately start connecting with resources and other families and of course, like, like everyone after diagnosis, drinking from the firehose to try to figure out how are we going to live in this new life? Stacey Simms 9:10 Even What do you remember that time? Ethan Orrr 9:12 I remember during the day before with all the symptoms that I would wake up in the middle of the night like to use the restroom. I didn't know what diabetes was immediately in the car. So mom was tearing up a little bit on our way to the hospital. And she when I asked asked, like, what is diabetes? She's like, well, you're gonna be getting quite a few shots today. Because like home, right? No, I like I thought she was kidding. At first cuz I've never heard of some like that. The beginning is I was just in shock a little bit. But then like, I slowly edged in or wet or things will be good. Nothing's gonna change too much. Stacey Simms 9:53 I don't want to fast forward too much as we're getting to, you know, the news story here, but you're 16 now, so Were those six years. Obviously you play sports, did things kind of go to a better place? Do you feel like you guys managed it pretty well? Ethan Orrr 10:08 Right? When I got diabetes, I was still competing, swimming wise, and I was trying to swim for the Colorado torpedoes in Manitou. At the time I, I had my CGM, but it didn't work in the water was a different type of CGM. So my phone couldn't connect in I was in a spot where I was close to my honeymoon period. And so we had a we are way too many troubles, trying to like dangerous troubles trying to be able to swim that year. So I ended up just pulling out, you know, we made a family decision is too dangerous, because I could feel my blood, like when I went low or high or anything like that isn't that low? This year, at the beginning of the season, we are a little bit of a problem. Not a little, there's a big problem at the beginning of the season, because my body wasn't ready and adjusted for stuff like that. So I had a lot of very, very bad lows during some practice for like about a month. And then it finally picked up and I was completely fine after that. And I was able to swim very well with the rest of it without blood sugar issues. Stacey Simms 11:16 Amanda, let me switch over to you. Tell me about that experience. Because I know with my son, every seat Well, first of all, he changes sports every couple of years, which is bananas, because we figure it out. And then he moves on. So what was swimming? Like? Yeah, you hear you, Amanda Terrell-Orr 11:29 I hear you. Yes, we have that experience as well. It sounds like our kids are similar that way Ethan likes to jump around sports. So he had been even been competitive swimming for not an insignificant amount of time, I would say when he was diagnosed, and it was just in that honeymoon period and learning everything. And being just terrified of every significant low. You know, at the beginning, those things seem really insurmountable. Because even had a couple of really scary lows, it was also kind of affecting his confidence to stay in swimming. So sadly, something that he really loves. What we said is we put it on pause. We didn't think it would be on pause this long. But it was really Ethan's choice. And so we were really happy this season, when he chose swimming again. And then he started swimming, and everything that we thought we knew about management of his diabetes changed in some ways. And in Ethan's case, he was he's very active, he's very fit. But his body was not used to the kinds of energy that need to be expended to swim in particular. So we tried all the things, all the tricks, all the tips that everybody gave us. And he was still having really significant lows, having to be assisted out of the pool sometimes. But to his credit, and one of the things I'm so proud of him for is that he swam right through that he had to sit out of practice a lot because of low blood sugars. But he still kept going every day. And he believed us when we said your team is going to help you and by team I meant his endocrinology team, and also athletes with type 1 diabetes. So we threw out questions out there into the social media world and got great advice from other people, athletes with type one. And we combine that with the guidance from our endocrinologist and Ethan's body also adjusted to the swimming. And so at the end of all of that he was at the end of the season, he was really doing pretty well in terms of being able to swim safely. So we were very proud of how he came through this season. You know, to be honest, as a person without type 1 diabetes, and an adult. I don't think I would have done that. It was very, very hard, but he stuck it through and was fortunate enough to be able to go to the state championships. Stacey Simms 14:01 He said I'm curious what worked. Looking back on all of that. Right back to Ethan answering my question, but first Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dario Health and bottom line you need a plan of action with diabetes. We've been very lucky Benny's endo has helped us with that and he understands the plan has to change. As Benny gets older, you want that kind of support. So take your diabetes management to the next level with Dario health. Their published Studies demonstrate high impact results for active users like improved in range percentage within three months. reduction of A1C was in three months and a 58% decrease in occurrences of severe hypoglycemic events. Try Dario's diabetes success plan and make a difference in your diabetes management could have my dario.com forward slash diabetes dash connections for more proven results and for information about the plan. Now back to Ethan explaining how they got his blood sugar more stable during and after swimming. Ethan Orrr 15:03 So to be honest, the only reason it worked, I in my body got adjusted. At the beginning of it, I would have to take seven juices, maybe practice a, like during the entire thing, not not like a one point. But like throughout of like a one hour practice is really bad. But something that we did is I had gummies like little energy energy jam. Yeah, it's like the glucose gels. Yeah, we had glucose gels next to it. Because if you have too many fluids, with swimming, you can get nauseous, especially with it being juicing and eating granola bars before you, when something very hard tends not to work out very well to something that's like flexible with your stomach. So it's not like you're eating like a valley granola bar, and then you're going into pool and wanting to puke. Amanda Terrell-Orr 16:03 Yeah, even some of the things that you're maybe not remembering because they just became so routine for us is suspending his pump. like two hours before practice making sure he didn't have any insulin on board keyword also, toward the end there where we were waiting for his body to adjust, he would have the equivalent of a meal, about an hour before practice with no insulin to cover it. And he would still getting into the water, those first bit of time would still go very low in a short period of time. So then he would have to sit out like he was saying, you know, have a lot of juice. And then he would be nauseous and not able to swim as well. What the doctor kept telling us is, you know, hang in there, we're going to figure this out, your body's going to adjust. And sure enough that ended up happening. But those are the kinds of things that we had to try in the early part of the season. Stacey Simms 16:57 Sounds very familiar. My son's first wrestling practice freshman year of high school, he ate 85 uncovered carbs and still would not go above 70. Yeah, I was able. Amanda Terrell-Orr 17:09 Yeah, the other thing that was really challenging that we had never experienced before, but we know that other people have since we reached out is overnight. Well, after practice, Ethan would have lows that would last for hours, no matter how many carbs we would give him. So then we would have to get to the point where we were micro dosing glucagon with the advice of his doctor in his circumstance to try to bring his blood sugar back up. But there were nights where my husband and I were up for four hours at a time just trying to get his blood sugar into a safe range. And this year, is the first time in all of those years, he's had diabetes, that we had to ask for emergency medical assistance for a very severe low. So it was a really, really difficult time. But what we like to think about that, and you know, he's very resilient, he got through that time. And you know, the type one community was really helpful in helping us come up with ways that we could try to address these big problems that we're facing. Stacey Simms 18:14 So you brought up the state championships. Let's just jump into that now and talk about what happened and the basis of the lawsuit. And you know, what you hope to accomplish here, but start by telling me and Amanda, let me ask you what happened at the state championships. Amanda Terrell-Orr 18:29 So the summary version of that, that I would say is that even had several events that day, they were all relay events, which means that he was competing as part of a small team of other swimmers. He had swam to those events. And the last event of the day would have been his final relay event swim. He was standing at the side of the pool with another student next to a referee, and the referee asked Ethan about what was on his arm. And so Ethan explained, of course, that it was a continuous glucose monitor that it measured his blood sugar that it was for type 1 diabetes, and that he had the patch over it to keep it on during swimming, which every athlete knows that everybody's body's different, but you are more likely to need extra cover over your CGM when you're sweating or swimming or that kind of thing. So the referee asked Ethan, who his coach was and who he swam for, and minutes before the event was scheduled to begin the referee address the coach. The coach told the referee all the same information that Ethan told him And in addition, said Ethan has an active 504 plan that allows him to have his medical equipment. The referee insisted that Ethan was in violation of what is commonly called the tape rule, which is essentially the fact that a swimmer can't wear something extra on their body to aid their speed boy The four body compression because those things could give the swimmer a competitive advantage. The coach tries to explain again everything that was going on. And that not one time in the 70s even swam prior to the state championship. Did any other referee believe that that rule applies even. It's always obvious in some of the videos that various news stations have used. You can see it on Ethan's are messy swimming. So clearly referees who are paying close attention to the swimmer to see whether their stroke is off or they're, you know, doing anything else that would be a violation saw this on his arm and no one said anything. So the referee was told that information as well. The referee insisted that in order to compete under that tape rule, he would have needed a doctor's note to say that it was medically necessary. The whole point of the rule is to prevent a swimmer from having a competitive advantage, you would not have to be someone who understood type 1 diabetes to look at what even had on his arm. And know that of course, it would not cause a competitive advantage. Of course, it was just medical tape covering up a medical device, the Dexcom G6 says on it what it is. And I timed it, it takes about 15 seconds on Google to figure out what that is. So if the referee did not believe the information he was getting, and the whole purpose of the doctor's note is to say, you know if needed, and so it doesn't give a competitive advantage. All of that together means that the referee heard all that information. And he either didn't believe it. Or he continued to believe that either was potentially cheating by wearing a foreign device or substance to aid his speed buoyancy or body compression. So at that time, the referee said that Ethan was not going to be allowed to swim. One of the important things that has happened in the news that I know the governing body is having trouble with is the use of the term disqualification. In my mind when the kid doesn't get to swim, the semantics of that don't matter. But it wasn't the fact that even swam in the meets in that final event and was disqualified, he was not allowed to swim the final or that. And so what the coach tells us happens from that point is that the referee says Ethan will not be able to swim, you were required to have this note, he's in violation of the tape roll. And so the referees scramble, because again, he's addressed minutes before the event starts and substitute another swimmer for Ethan. But what the coach told us is that in the rules, when you're going to substitute a swimmer, you have to go to, you know, like the administrative table and make that substitution in a particular kind of way. And so he was not able to do that in that time period. And the coach indicated to us that the relay team was subsequently disqualified for not having a proper substitution. Now, we learned for the first time when chafta issued their statement, that they are saying that the team was disqualified for an early start. And, you know, from our perspective, although it's really upsetting to us that the whole team would have been potentially disqualified on this substitution issue. The fact is, the crux of this is that Ethan was not allowed to swim, because someone incorrectly interpreted what he had on his body is potentially cheating and violation of the taping raw. That is essentially what happened in Ethan's case. And that just started all of the research and that kind of thing that our family did before we decided to engage a lawyer got it. Stacey Simms 23:50 My question, I had a lot of questions. But one of my questions is, is it your belief, and I assume it is, since you're going to have with the lawsuit, that having a 504 plan, being covered by the American with Disabilities Act supersedes that tape rule. Amanda Terrell-Orr 24:05 There are several points to what we're saying. So the first thing we're saying is the rule doesn't apply to even circumstance. And although the high school associations have not chosen to be this clear, the USA Swimming rules are very clear that taping for medical devices is not a violation of this taping rule is really about kt tape or therapeutic tape that would be used to support somebody muscles or joints or ligaments or tendons in a way that would give them a competitive advantage. Anybody who knows anything about swimming knows that when something protrudes from your body like a CGM, that it actually causes the disadvantage because we're talking about milliseconds of time and surface drag can actually make him slower. Additionally, we know the rule didn't apply because no other referee instead Prior meet even mentioned it as being possibly implicated by that rule. So let's say he even mistakenly believes that the rule applies, there are a couple things about that he did have a 504. We do think that's important, because the 504 says that he's able to have his medical devices at all times, in all school activities. Secondly, and I believe this is standard across the country, but even had to have a sports physical before he participated in sports that said that he was safe to participate in those sports. So there are lots of reasons that we believe the rule didn't apply. Even if it did, Ethan should have been fine without a specific doctor's note to prove he had type 1 diabetes. And further, the referee under the rules had the discretion to allow even to swim if he did not find that to be excessive. And he says, and he chose not to let even swim. So for all of those reasons, I think the way I described it to someone is there was a tortured reading of that rule to exclude a kid was type 1 diabetes isn't Stacey Simms 26:13 how is your team reacted to all of this? Ethan Orrr 26:15 Whoa, I didn't find out until I was literally walking to the blocks. My team was a little bit upset, but because they didn't know what was going on. At first, my friend, I was with one of my teammates. While that was happening, and he's like, going on well, the coaches talk or not the coach, the referees talking to me. And so I was walking to start the event, like I was walking around the pool, and they were like, Ethan, why aren't you sorry? I was like, What? What do you mean? And they're like, you're not swimming coach just said, Go talk to coach right now. We're starting to bet right now. Aren't we? Just like, yeah, go talk to coach right now. And we're gonna talk to him. And he was like, yeah, we're looking. I'm looking at the rulebook right now. And we're all looking at the rulebook really quick, but you're not able to swim. Because the CGM on time. And so everyone was like, why? because they didn't know it was forward. And the teammates that I was with is like, was it that coach, or, or the rapper or whatever? I was like, yeah, know what? He was like, yeah. I don't know what to tell you. I was like, Oh, okay. We were all upset about it. I was really dumb. Did Stacey Simms 27:26 they support you? I mean, in these days in the time that has passed, tell me about that. Ethan Orrr 27:32 Oh, yeah, no, they've always, I'm friends with everyone on the swim team. Amanda Terrell-Orr 27:35 They're all super great. My coaches super great. The trainer for the cornado, the school that I stand for, is really great. My teammates are really supportive whenever I would have to get out, you know, they just, they'd make jokes, they'd be funny about it, like try and like lighten it up and whatever. They're really great. They're a really great team, they are really great team, I'm still going to swim for them this year, I'm still competing for I'm going to try and compete for state this year to this. I think the other thing, even in terms of the support even got, we we really can't say enough about this coach and the athletic trainer, it was a difficult season for them to of course, because of everything Ethan went through. So this happened, the state championship happened at the end of June, at the very beginning of July, the coach actually sent an email to chafa and laid out the situation of what occurred, asked if they would work with him, because he believed that what happened could potentially be a violation of even federal right. And I spoke with the coach kind of throughout that time. But at the end of July, I spoke with him more in depth and and I really wanted to know what kind of response he had received, he had received zero response to that email. So here we have a coach that's trying to act, you know, advocate for his student with diabetes and try to get something change. So this wouldn't happen again. And he received no response to that, Stacey Simms 29:04 you know, Amanda, a lot of people are going to be really excited that you've done this and want to see this change and are rooting for you. But a lot of people are also going to be wondering why a lawsuit. There's just so much that happens to you all. When you file a lawsuit, you're going to get a lot of negative attention, you're going to get pushback, we file the lawsuit and what are you seeking in the lawsuit? Amanda Terrell-Orr 29:26 So I'm glad that you raised that. That's one of the points that is confusing to people. We actually have not filed a lawsuit we filed a complaint with the Department of Justice alleging a civil rights violation. So that process is a different kind of process. That's not about monetary gain for anyone. That process is about the Department of Justice investigating whether or not there was a violation of even civil rights and if so, what kind of oversight is necessary over the governing body so that athletes with this abilities don't experience those kind of violation. So it's essentially a mechanism to enforce oversight and change, but not a mechanism whereby we would receive any funds whatsoever. Our lawyer is doing this pro bono. If we were to file a lawsuit, that would be a different circumstance. But it isn't our goal. To get money out of this situation, our goal has several parts to it, the main part of it is both the national and the state rules need to get with the times and make the kind of changes that USA Swimming has made. That makes it clear that taping of a medical device is not cheating. That is the primary thing that we need to see. I also truly believe that chafa in their rulemaking process needs to include the voice of athletes with disabilities, or people who have a lot of familiarity with those areas, I think that would help give voice to some of these areas where they clearly have not educated themselves. And I just think that voice is so important. So those are a couple of the main things that we're trying to get accomplished here. And, you know, in general, the governing body had the opportunity to say, we really care about this, we want to work with these folks to try to make change. We had one referee interpreted this way. This isn't what we believe as a system. But their statement, you can see, it's clear that they believe that discriminatory reading of that rule is the right reading of the rule. So we need some help from Department of Justice or other avenues to force the issue to get them to change. What kind of tape do you use? Do Stacey Simms 31:45 you mind? I mean, you can share a brand name or just you know, because there's so many different overlays for the Dexcom. I'm curious what it looks like Amanda Terrell-Orr 31:50 he was wearing the simpatch. Got it. And one of the things that I've been saying to people, if they're not swimmers, or athletes, they don't necessarily understand the difference between my kcca for therapeutic tape and Matt. But as you know, and as other people who use those overlay patches, now, that patch was specifically exclusively and obviously designed for that purpose. It has a perfect cut out just for made for the exact model of CGM that you have. And it's clearly obviously just holding that device on. So anyone who looks at the simpatch, or any other similar kind of patch, can easily understand what it's there to do. And not that and understand that it's not there to aid his speed, buoyancy or body compression, it can't do any of those things. And it's clear that it can't when you look at it, Stacey Simms 32:45 he said you've said you're gonna start swimming again, you want to make it to the states again, why is this got to be very disruptive to you? This can't be a fun thing to be going through. Tell me why you like swimming. Ethan Orrr 32:56 It's one of the hardest sports for you to be able to do. I really enjoy the individuality, but also how you work as a team. I mean, no matter what the points that you get for individually swimming, impact the entire team on in deciding if you win or lose the knee or event or competition, whatever, whatever composition, I really loved swimming, I've always loved swimming. But once I got diabetes, there's a we couldn't manage it properly without being safe. But nowadays I can. And I totally love to pursue it. I feel like it's great. It's great for the body. It's great. It's great in general, and just to get your mind off of whatever I mean, I think this is an amazing sport. And I'd love to pursue it. So even if we've had troubles, hopefully, we shouldn't have those same troubles. If the if we get the rule change that we need and want then I shouldn't have the problem, then I can swim and still compete. I don't hate chess or anything like that. I just want some real change. You know, before I let you go, Stacey Simms 33:57 Amanda, let me ask you what I saw this story on social media. I feel like it's been in every diabetes Facebook group. Obviously it was local television and got picked up by national media. What's the response been like for you? Amanda Terrell-Orr 34:08 What I want to focus on is the positive first because that is the overwhelming majority of response we've gotten. We've just received so much support. We've received support from jdrf. We've received some for support from Team Novo Nordisk we've received support we were contacted by Dexcom. So all of those are good, but also the heartfelt messages that we've received from other parents of athletes with type one have been moving and have really helped support us through a time where we're getting the kind of attention that we did not expect from this. We expected that we would file something that our lawyer would do a press release and a couple of local channels would be interested. And then we would just wait and see what happens. This has been way more of a response than we expected and the back much Already in that response has been positive and supportive. But as we know, in the public domain, there are always people who don't think about the consequences of what they say on real people. And they come after, you know, a 16 year old in their comments. And so early on, our lawyer told us don't read the comments. And that was really great advice. So now, we basically just engaged with people who have commented on, you know, like a diabetes, Facebook post, or some other kind of social, that's from folks who understand that better. And, you know, we've kind of asked those people who are supporting us, if they're reading the comments, they can address those issues, they can address people who are trolling us. And that would be really helpful to us, because we just can't be beat up that way. But I also think chaffles response was very disappointing to us. And it felt like they were minimizing denying and blaming. And they had the opportunity to look at this much differently in a way that was geared toward change that could allow student participation. And they chose not to do that. It felt like backlash to us that they chose to respond in that way. But by and large, boy, we really appreciate all the support we're getting, it's really the fuel that keeps us going. Because this is hard, it's really hard to be in the spotlight this way, and even made this choice themselves about whether we were going to do this after a lot of research. And so it's wonderful when people support him and say, Thank you, Ethan, for doing this, and lift him up around his struggle. That is just been wonderful. Stacey Simms 36:44 He's gonna let you have the last word here. When you hear your mom say all this stuff, like what's going through your head? Did you think it would get to this point where it's not nationwide? Ethan Orrr 36:53 Honestly, no, I was surprised that it got really big, really quick. I was not expecting that at all. So I'm really happy that that people are supporting it. Stacey Simms 37:06 Well, thank you so much for joining me, keep us posted. love to know how this moves forward and plays out. But thanks for explaining. And, you know, we wish you all the best. Thank you both. Amanda Terrell-Orr 37:16 Thank you so much for having us. You're listening to Diabetes Connections with Stacey Simms. Stacey Simms 37:30 More information at Diabetes connections.com. I'm gonna link up some of the stories about Ethan that some of you may have already seen most, we're gonna try to link up some follow up as the story progresses, because we're really just at the beginning here, you know, I'm going to follow through this complaint with the Department of Justice, see what the rule changes are like if they come through and see if other clubs and athletic associations follow suit, or do anything that is proactive. If you find something in your local community, let me know if there's a rule change because of this, or I gotta tell you, we've already talked to the coach about Benny's wrestling, and you know how he wears his equipment. I'm double checking, I just want to make sure that we're all good, because while he has been fine so far, and last year, we saw a ref wearing a T slim pump at a couple of the meats. I didn't go over. But Benny did go over after the meets and just say hello, when you just showed us pump and that kind of thing. But even if the ref has type one and wears a pump, you know, there still may be a misunderstanding of the rules. So I I'm definitely double checking all of that, to make sure that we're not gonna have any issues this year. It's complicated. I gotta tell you that my favorite part of the whole story is how Ethan's teammates have hung with him. Right. And they haven't made him feel different. They haven't made him feel like he's to blame for things. We've been so lucky with Benny that he's surrounded with people who support him as well. And if you heard the episode he was on a couple weeks ago. He says part of that is because he just doesn't want to be with people who don't support them. And we're really, really lucky that he feels that way. So Ethan is lucky as well. But Big thanks to Ethan and Amanda for coming on so quickly and sharing this story and making some time for me. All right, Diabetes Connections is brought to you by Dexcom. And we have been using the Dexcom system since he was nine years old. We started with Dexcom back in December of 2013. And the system just keeps getting better. The Dexcom G6 is FDA permitted for no finger sticks for calibration and diabetes treatment decisions you can share with up to 10 people from your smart device. The G6 has 10 day sensor wear and the applicator is so easy. I haven't done one insertion since we got it Ben he does them all himself. He's a busy kid and knowing he can just take a quick glance at his blood glucose numbers to make better treatment decisions is reassuring. Of course we still love the alerts and alarms so that we can set them how we want if your glucose alerts and readings from the G6 do not match symptoms or expectations. Use a blood glucose meter to make diabetes treatment decisions. To learn more, go to Diabetes connections.com and click on the Dexcom logo. If you are listening to this episode as it goes live on September 7, then I wish you a very happy new year. It is the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah. And as you probably know, these podcast episodes are taped and scheduled in advance. So I am not working today I am celebrating the new year with friends and family. And I don't mind sharing that. We always go to our same friend's house. I don't have any family locally here in the Charlotte, North Carolina area. And our friends this year, were probably having like 20 to 30 people, they bought COVID tests for everybody those over the counter COVID test as I'm taping, I haven't taken it yet. When you're listening to this, I will have taken it. But I thought that was really interesting. We're all vaccinated this group we've gotten together before earlier in the summer, it was actually the first group of people that I got together with in Gosh, I want to say maybe late May, you know, we'd all been vaccinated, but he's really excited. Nobody knew Delta was coming. And so we know we're all reacting to this in different ways. I'm really, I guess the word is interested that this is going on. I wonder how many other people are doing this for small private gatherings. I'm excited to be celebrating and may it be a sweet and happy new here because my goodness, we definitely need it. So I'm gonna leave it there. Big thanks to my editor John Bukenas from audio editing solutions for really jumping in here. We put this together much more quickly than our usual episodes. So thanks so much as always, John, and thank you so much for listening. I'm Stacey Simms. I'll see you back here on Wednesday for in the news. That'll be Wednesday live on Facebook at 430 Eastern Time, and then we turn that into a podcast episode for Friday. Alright, until then, be kind to yourself. Benny 41:35 Diabetes Connections is a production of Stacey Simms Media. All rights reserved. All wrong avenged
DEAR DR. ROACH: My son is taking hemp-based CBD oil for depression. He purchased this at a health food store. His doctor prescribed pills that he was unable to tolerate due to suicidal thoughts. He is unable to go outside when taking CBD. We would like to know if it will show up in a drug test as part of a job interview. Should he be taking it? — D. ANSWER: There are animal studies and some preliminary data suggesting that cannabidiol, a nonpsychoactive substance found in cannabis, might be effective for anxiety and depressive disorders. I hope that CBD...Article Link
This week we're doing an “Ask Dr. Abby” episode, where I respond to a question submitted by one of YOU! This week, someone wrote this: “Dear Dr. Abby, I'm feeling unloved and unappreciated or not good enough in some way. Is this a “me” problem, or is my partner causing it?” Stay tuned as I dive deep into issues of feeling unloved and unappreciated in our relationships and what it really means when we're feeling “not good enough.” Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/ask-dr-abby-i-feel-unloved-and-not-good-enough-is-this-a-me-problem-or-is-my-partner-causing-it/ ---------------------------------------- Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won't believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com/ For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my courses (some are free!): https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/ Say hello on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AbbyThriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving YouTube: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving
Podcast 248 Ask David and Rhonda! In today's podcast, Rhonda and David answer some fascinating questions submitted by listeners like you! We both thank you for your interest in our show, and for your kind comments and terrific questions! The Questions Kati asks: I notice that in your therapy sessions, the negative feelings of most of your patients are reduced all the way to 0%, and many become euphoric. I was wondering whether this somewhat contradicts the idea that our negative feelings are useful to us in some way? Kati also asks: Do you believe that empathy can be ‘taught'? Yiftah asks: How could one dangle the carrot effectively and responsibly when offering a cognitive exposure exercise? Yiftah also asks: From your experience can you give examples of cases in which cognitive exposure may not be as safe or as effective? Esther asks: You say there is no convincing or consistent evidence to support most psychodynamic claims about the causes of things. What you said resonates, but aren't you also just making claims? I have a psychodynamic supervisor, and am struggling to choose between empirically validated treatments and traditional psychodynamic approaches. Sean asks: Burns, what can you do when you are using the disarming technique and the person keeps interrupting you? Ben asks: Since exercise improves the mood of some people who are feeling down, doesn't this prove that physiologic changes can improve mood, as opposed to changing negative thoughts? The Answers Note: The answers below were based on David's email exchanges with the people who asked the questions and were created before today's podcast. Therefore, the podcast may contain new and different information from these show notes. Hopefully, both the show and the notes will be helpful to you. Rhonda and David Kati asks I notice that in your live therapy sessions, the negative feelings of most of your patients are reduced all the way to 0%, and many become euphoric. I was wondering whether this somewhat contradicts the idea that our negative feelings are useful to us in some way. David responds Hi Kati, thank you for the kind comments! It is great to get negative feelings to zero and experience enlightenment and joy. However, no one can be happy all the time, so you will have plenty of opportunities to "learn" from negative feelings again. In addition, there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy negative feelings. Healthy sadness is not the same as clinical depression, healthy fear is not the same as a phobia or panic attack, healthy and unhealthy anger are quite different, and so forth. There will bumps in the road of life for all of us at times. * * * Kati also asks Do you believe empathy can be “taught?” As a mum (of a 15 and a 10 year old girls) and a (HS) teacher I notice some people seem to have it more ‘innately' than others but would also love to think it is an aspect that can be intentionally developed in others in some way. If you think like me, I would love to hear your thoughts on how that could be done (i.e. what practices or strategies would be most helpful to use with young people in particular). I am still in awe that we can have a sort of conversation with such a brilliant and creative mind and I humbly hope you can address these two questions either in one of your podcasts or by responding to this message. In admiration, Kati David responds Thanks again, Kati, With regard to empathy, it is something that can be learned, but it takes commitment and practice. A good first step is the book I wrote on this topic called Feeling Good together. In addition, there is, as you say, an "aptitude" that people have for this or any skill, with a tremendous variability in the population. But regardless of your natural aptitude or lack of it, you can learn and grow tremendously. I started out with very poor listening skills. You can also search for Five Secrets of Effective Communication on the website, using the search function, and you'll find lots of podcasts teaching these skills. david * * * Yiftah asks How could one dangle the carrot effectively and responsibly when offering a cognitive exposure exercise? Dear Dr. Burns, I love your podcast and books. They have completely changed my practice and had helped my personally. In particular it was great to hear you working with Dr. Levitt with cognitive exposure, and your discussion about it. I have two questions regarding cognitive exposure with PTSD (for the podcast. First, how could one dangle the carrot effectively and responsibly when offering a cognitive exposure exercise? David responds Hi Yiftah, I try to deal with the Outcome and Process Resistance issues prior to agreeing to help any patient with anxiety. I might say something like this: “Jim, I'd really love to help you with your fears of X (whatever it is), and I'm pretty convinced that if we work together, you can make some great progress in overcoming your fears. I have more than 30 great tools to help you overcome anxiety, and you're probably going to love all of them except for one, exposure. Confronting your fears is just one tool among many, but is a vitally important part of the process, and cure is usually impossible without exposure. “For example, I may ask you to do is (I explain the type of exposure we might use.) I know that will be terrifying, and it needs to be terrifying to be effective. I'll be with you every step of the way, of course. But I need to know if you'd be willing to do that type of thing if I agree to work with you. “I know you've told me that you've had many therapists in the past who did not use exposure, and that might be why their treatments were not as effective as you'd hoped. And if you absolutely don't want to use exposure, I would totally understand and support you, but sadly could not agree to treat your fear of X.” * * * Yiftah also asks From your experience can you give examples of cases in which cognitive exposure may not be as safe or as effective? You have a lot of experience with successful exposure treatments, but I had never worked with PTSD. And I hear some "PTSD experts" say that cognitive exposure is a dangerous process that can backfire. And according to papers I've read it doesn't always help. In other words, assuming that one had worked correctly with the Empathy and Assessment of resistance phases: how safe and how effective is prolonged cognitive exposure with severe PTSD? From your experience can you give examples of cases in which cognitive exposure may not be as safe or as effective? I mean are there some conditions or distorted thoughts that categorically need to be dealt with successfully before going for exposure? For example, would there be any special considerations when working with patients with thoughts connected to shame, self-blame and hopelessness, as well as habits and addictions, or relationship issues? Thank you Yiftah David responds Thanks again! Let's assume that you are treating a veteran who is paranoid and living alone in the woods, who tells you that he is afraid of “losing it” and blowing people away with his automatic rifle. I would not want to have him fantasize blowing people away in order to overcome his fear, especially if he is prone to violence and has poor impulse control, and is psychotic. This could conceivably trigger him to do something violent, and I'd have a hard time explain my therapy methods to the police after he kills many people in the local mall. At the same time, the vast majority of anxious people who are afraid of doing something horrible or violent have OCD, and are totally safe. So, it takes judgment. Powerful techniques require therapists with exceptional skills, training, and thoughtfulness. It ALWAYS pays to be thoughtful and cautious! And this has nothing to do with cognitive exposure per se, but all of the > 100 techniques that I use. They can all hurt, including empathy, if not done skillfully, and with compassion. Backfiring occurs when therapists don't do or know how to prepare the patient for the methods you plan to use. Anytime you “throw” techniques at patients, you are asking for trouble. Remember, TEAM is a systematic, step-by-step package that is done as a sequence. Your patient has to give you an “A” on empathy before you can even go on to the Assessment of Resistance. My experience has shown me that most therapists, including the so-called experts, do not know how to get an A grade on empathy, and may not have outstanding empathy skills. Trust is so important in the treatment of anxiety, and always has to come first. Before using any M = Methods, you will need to address the patient's Outcome and Process Resistance, and get some agreement on what you plan to do and how you plan to do it. Should we not use a technique because it doesn't always work? All techniques often fail. TEAM is based on “failing as fast as you can!” If you can't use a technique that sometimes fails, then you can't use ANY technique! Also, I never treat anxiety with one technique. I use a great many techniques drawn from four very different treatment models: the Cognitive Model the Motivational Model the Exposure Model the Hidden Emotion Model I sometimes get tired / annoyed with so-called experts who love to spout off, saying things that to my ear sound like half-truths. But then again, I do the exact same thing! At any rate, neither Jill nor I have ever had a bad outcome with any form of exposure, but we are both pretty careful, and try hard to be compassionate and to prepare the patient. You have to be thoughtful and careful. For example, Shame Attacking Exercises can be life changing, but they require half a brain on the part of the therapist. For example, I wouldn't throw someone with poor interpersonal skills into a potentially awkward or hurtful Shame Attacking Exercise. All powerful techniques have the potential to heal or harm. The same scalpel that a surgeon uses to save a life can also be used by a murderer to slit someone's throat. d * * * Esther asks You say there is no convincing or consistent evidence to support most psychodynamic claims about the causes of things. What you said resonates, but aren't you also just making claims? I have a psychodynamic supervisor, and am struggling to choose between empirically validated treatments and traditional psychodynamic approaches. Hi David, I absolutely love your stuff! I've used some parts of feeling good in my practice as a therapist and in my personal life for some time, but I've recently gotten much more into your teachings and I've been thinking a lot about TEAM-CBT. And thank you for providing all these free resources for the public! In episode 230 (about 22 minutes in) Rhonda asked you about a common psychodynamic type of claim- “a child of alcoholics either become an alcoholic, marries an alcoholic or becomes a therapist of an alcoholic.” You responded by saying “people love those kinds of theories because people want to think they know the causes of things.” Then you went on to disagree, claiming that there isn't much evidence to support these types of claims. At first what you said very much resonated with me, and yet I began to think about it and realized the irony in your response: you had explained people's tendency to come up with such theories with your own cause (“people want to think they know the causes of things”), something which I doubt you've been able to test in a research study (though perhaps I'm wrong!) And yet what you said still resonates with me and highlights the crux of my question: isn't there any value in intuition (without any evidence) in determining the causes of things? For instance, I think your causal explanation here is highly intuitive. (Even though an alternative explanation could have involved something not inherently psychological, like “people err because they think correlation implies causation” or something. This is not just a theoretical question for me. I currently work under a wonderful supervisor who takes a psychodynamic approach to many issues, and I am very suspicious of some his theories, but it seems that he is a great therapist. Further, I think that many people in school and in the early stages of practice (including myself) are conflicted about whether or not they wish to train further in evidence-based approaches or in a psychodynamic type of school. I think this important question is sometimes at the root of the issue. (Although psychodynamic theories are sometimes not at all intuitive.) For a practical example- something I always found intuitive is the role low self-esteem seems to play in people with inflated egos or the role it can play with those who have anger issues (In which the ego or anger serve to “compensate” for the low self-esteem). When I was working with a client who suffered in these two areas, I began by educating him about this notion (which resonated with him) and we began to address his low self-esteem. Later, however, I happened across an article claiming that this intuitive notion is not supported by research. It called into question many of my intuitions when conceptualizing cases and treating my clients. Finally, I just picked up a copy of “Feeling Great” (it's awesome, by the way!) and I noticed you talked about the hidden emotion technique. Once we're on the topic of evidence; do you have any evidence that this particular technique is helpful? Is there research backing such a technique? (I'm particularly suspicious of it given its psychodynamic flavor :) I apologize if you've addressed these questions somewhere already- I've only just begun to avidly read your stuff and listen to your podcast. Thank you so much! Esther David responds Hi Esther, This is an important email and if I can find the time, and may address it in an Ask David. You write: “This is not just a theoretical question for me. I currently work under a wonderful supervisor who takes a psychodynamic approach to many issues, and I am very suspicious of some his theories, but it seems that he is a great therapist.” It's great that he is a great therapist, and it will be fun for you to learn from him. There are two caveats, perhaps. First, therapists' views of changes in the negative feelings of their patients, like depression, are not especially accurate, so his self-report of his effectiveness may not have a lot of credibility. I have measured therapist accuracy in a study at the Stanford Hospital, and found an accuracy of only 3% in detecting changes in depression, even after exhaustive, systematic interviews with patients about how they feel. Second, most therapists have only a placebo effect, although they will strenuously insist it ain't true! And their effectiveness is almost definitely not the result of the specific tools they are using, but other factors. Many outcome studies have been consistent with this type of conclusion. But still, learning from the wisdom of an older therapist can be awesome! With regard to the Hidden Emotion Technique, it IS a kind of modernized psychodynamic technique. I don't think it has been studied, but I no longer keep up with research. I find it exceptionally helpful in myself (I am anxiety prone) and in about 50% or more of anxious patients. And I have found I can engage in really rewarding conversations with psychodynamic therapists when I describe this technique. I enjoy this type of dialogue, challenging our favorite ideas. Have you ever heard of the “confirmation paradox?” My memory is that if theory A predicts observation B, and you see observation B, you may wrongly conclude that theory A is confirmed. For example, the theory that the sun revolves around the earth predicts that the sun will come up in the east in the morning and set in the west in the evening. So, we do see that every day, and we wrongly conclude that we have confirmed our theory that the sun revolves around the earth. Same is true for psychological theories about the causes of depression or whatever. The problem is that your observations also confirm a large number of alternative theories that all would have predicted the same thing. You can disconfirm a causal theory with data based on an experiment or natural observation, but you cannot actually confirm any theory in science. You can only say that your data are consistent with this or that theory, and that you have failed to disprove your theory based on your observations. I tested many theories about the linkages between Self-Defeating Beliefs (SDBs), like Perfectionism, and changes in negative feelings over time in several hundred patients treated at my clinic in Philadelphia. The data was not consistent with causal linkages between SDBs and negative feelings, even though there were strong correlations between them at both time points, and even though changes in SDBs were strongly correlated with changes in SDBs. david PS You might enjoy this psychoanalysis poem by another Esther who is a member of our Tuesday TEAM training group at Stanford. GOODBYE TO ALL THAT: THE JOY OF PRACTICING PSYCHOANALYSIS No more forms, no need for technique No more brain strain week after week, Ditch those methods — fifty, a hundred, A thousand ways I might have blundered. So long agenda, don't mention homework Just perfect that withering shmirk. Surveys, grades, throw them away You know it's sex, whatever they say. Gone for good are your twelve distortions, Out with charts and their crazy proportions. Is that a purse I see before me? Nope! It's your mother's vagina. You think that's a joke? Such progress we are making you must admit Only ten years and we are ready to dip Into that complex where troubles all lie The mom you must marry, the dad who must die. Two hundred sessions a year and each one two hundred Over ten years $400,000! I sundered… WHAT? I was…er… giving thought to your dream (And the cabbage I missed doing TEAM.) How can you say you're worse off than before While standing in front of Enlightenment's door? You say you've awakened to find I'm a nitwit, & at last you're done with all of this horseshit! Goodbye, my patient, there's the door, A pity you are so very sore. But let me say just one thing more — You really are a frightful bore. — Esther Wanning * * * Sean asks Dr. Burns, what can you do when you are using the disarming technique and the person keeps interrupting you? I've recently been practicing the 5 secrets and I am still learning how to apply the techniques. I listened to many podcasts and I'm reading your books/doing the exercises. I'm a complete believer in your method! Thank you! During the disarming, if the person continues to aggressively interrupt and ask pointed questions, how do I continue to stay engaged in the conversation? I repeat the steps. I agree/try and find the truth, paraphrase the comments, along with practicing feeling/thought empathy. The person continues to interrupt, argue, blame, and ask questions to prove their point. Do I just continue to try the secrets? In the moment it seems like it's impossible, but I stay committed. Thanks Sean David responds Hi Sean, I have often said that these abstract questions have very little value. The devil is in the details, the specific example. If you give me an example of what the other person said, and what, exactly, you said next, I will probably, or almost certainly, be able to show you what your errors were, and how you are forcing the person to keep attacking you. However, this can be painful, to suddenly see how you are causing the exact problem you are complaining about. But also freeing. So, the answer, in short, is that you are probably not using the Five Secrets correctly, but you get lots of credit for your efforts, and some feedback may help you. d PS Sadly, I never got a specific example from Sean. That is too bad, because abstract questions and answers never have much, if any, practical value or impact. All the learning is in the specific example, which becomes a mind-blowing learning experience. But, sometimes people don't seem to “get” this message! * * * Ben asks Since exercise improves the mood of some people who are feeling down, doesn't this prove that? Hello David! I am a frequent listener of your podcast, and am currently going through your new book, "Feeling Great". The importance of treating depression at specific moments in time, addressing self-defeating beliefs, and the death of the "self" are all topics that are of particular interest to me. I have a question for you. You make the claim that depression & anxiety always result from distorted thoughts -- that our thoughts always cause our feelings. If that is the case, what do you make of the research that shows that aerobic exercise can be an effective treatment for them? Doesn't that indicate that there could be a physical basis for some cases of anxiety & depression? I have certainly found exercise to be tremendous help for me in keeping my anxiety at bay -- a vigorous session of exercise just seems to "slow down" my mind or reduce the volume of the voice that's always chattering away in the background for hours afterward. Could people be getting more depressed and anxious because they simply don't move as much or as vigorously as our bodies have evolved to? Thank you for your amazing work and the generosity with which you share it. I've recommended your podcast to many people, and will continue to do so! Take care, Ben David responds Hi Ben, Great question. I like your critical thinking! To test this idea, we would, of course, have to measure the positive and negative thoughts of individuals who are, and individuals who are not, helped by exercise. You cannot just assume something either way. I believe that all change in moods, regardless of the treatment intervention, is mediated by a reduction in the distorted thoughts that trigger the depression. This is a testable hypothesis. Many people tell themselves things like, “Oh, I'm exercising now, this will really help me, I'm keeping up with my commitments to my health,” and so forth. I, for one, have never had a mood elevation from exercise. My daughter finds exercise very helpful. I suspect you will find a sharp reduction in negative thinking in individuals who are helped by exercise. We have to be careful about jumping to conclusions about causality. I have a mild case of sciatica, and a medication like Tylenol makes the pain disappear. Does this mean that sciatica is due to a Tylenol deficiency? I did a study with an N of 1. I asked a severely depressed man to fill out a part of a Daily Mood Log every evening. He recorded the situation, then circled and rated his feelings, and then recorded his negative thoughts and how much he believed them. Then he flipped a coin and either jogged for 45 minutes or worked on challenging his distorted thoughts for 45 minutes. In both cases, after 45 minutes he recorded any reductions in his negative thoughts and feelings. The days when he worked with the DML he experienced pronounced reductions in his belief in his negative thoughts and in his negative feelings. The days he jogged, in contrast, there were no reductions in his negative thoughts or feelings. analysis of the data with structural equation modeling confirmed that the change in his negative feelings was caused by the reduction in his belief in his negative thoughts. Just a small pilot study, and could be done on a larger group. However, the researcher would have to have a sophisticated understanding of how the DML works, and how to elicit distorted thoughts from people who are depressed and anxious. david Ben's reply Wow! I didn't expect such a quick and thorough reply! Thank you, David. Love the Tylenol example. Such a powerful way to demonstrate the hazards of assuming causality, and also show me how easy it is to assume causality without even realizing I am doing so. Your study of the severely depressed man was ingenious as well. It gave me some good food for thought about *why* exercise might be so helpful for me -- that I can't assume that it's because I've manipulated my physiology in some way. It could very well be that I end up feeling good because I have pursued a difficult activity that I value, and thus feel as though I have accomplished something. I can see why someone who *doesn't* rely on accomplishments to feel "worthwhile" or doesn't even think of exercise is an accomplishment might not get the same boost. Indeed, there have almost *certainly* been times that I've exercised and felt WORSE afterward, but I'm mentally filtering those instances out. Like when I've gone for a run even though I was supposed to be getting dinner ready, and then the family is frustrated w/ me and hungry! ;-) I don't really get to bask in the glow of Accomplishment(tm) then! Take care, and thanks again! -Ben David responds again Hi Ben, Thanks. I ‘ve always said the thing about exercise raising brain endorphins was just something someone made up, but people wouldn't listen to me for the most part. I pointed that human brain endorphins cannot be measured, so there cannot be any evidence all for this theory. I recently said an article where they blocked brain endorphin receptors in people who got the runner's high. They still got the runner's high, proving brain endorphins could not possibly be involved! People tend to believe what they want to believe, regardless of the evidence. We see this in politics and in religion in a big way, but it is true in all walks of life. david Rhonda and David
DEAR DR. ROACH: In December, I developed an abscess in my jaw from food getting caught in my tooth. I went to see a local dentist who prescribed clindamycin and metronidazole. I came down with a case of C. difficile. I have since found evidence that multiple antibiotics and clindamycin are causes of C. diff. I am getting mixed messages about my prognosis. Some medical people are telling me it's not a big deal and to just wash my hands a lot. My primary physician, however, gave me the impression that this is basically a terminal diagnosis. She told me...Article Link
The Bariatric Badass Podcast- Dear Dr V. part Pt2
DEAR DR. ROACH: I am a very healthy 74-year-old male. I am not on any medications and enjoy normal blood pressure and great stats from my regular bloodwork. I weigh 140 pounds and have been exercising every day faithfully for decades. A couple of years ago, I started getting cramps in both legs throughout the night. My toes would curl down and my entire leg would get stiff; the pain was horrible. I had a terrible time “walking it off,” and very often when I finally got it to pass, as soon as I got back in bed the whole...Article Link
"Dear Dr. Sala," writes an 8-year-old friend of Guidelines, "my name is Amy and I have a problem with my friends. Missy won't like me if I like Aimee! I like both of them but I don't understand! I don't know what to do! Could you tell me...?" Signed, "Amy--your 8-year-old friend."
Emma White, MD, Chief Resident, Providence Portland Medical Center, Department of Medical Education
Emma White, MD, Chief Resident, Providence Portland Medical Center, Department of Medical Education
DEAR DR. ROACH: Could you give some additional information about H. pylori infection? I was diagnosed with it recently, via biopsies taken during an endoscopic procedure. I was given instructions on antibiotics to be taken, which I followed through on. When talking to my doctor's physician assistant, I asked what could have caused the infection, to try to prevent it from recurring. I was given a very cursory response, including that it could have come from eating at “Mom and Pop” restaurants. From research I did after that, it seems that it can be present for a long period of...Article Link
HAPPY MONDAY DUMMIES! Today we will be reading off the MadLibs that our followers contributed to with a fun twist. Lots of giggles to be had this morning. We also will be briefly discussing 90 Day Fiance. ENJOY
Dr. Madi here, with a PhD in being a dummy but offering advice nonetheless. Giving you all my (mostly) sincere advice on all the things you came to me for. Hope you enjoy! Remember to follow me on Instagram @thebadbroadcast to answer the weekly question for a chance to have your answer featured on the next episode!
Dear Dr. Arianna, why am I insecure? What are the unconscious narratives we are telling ourselves everyday? Dr. Arianna breaks down how our self-talk, our upbringing and our thoughts contribute to how insecure or confident we feel in life. To help you deal with the insecurity gremlin in you mind and classify your own thoughts Dr. Arianna has put together this worksheet for you to download: https://pages.drariannaanswers.com/ Submit your questions here: https://pages.drariannaanswers.com/ask
In this Black Wealth Confession, a man writes that he and his wife have aspirations to expand their black owned business into a full-time income. Here's what he writes: "Dear Dr. Boyce, I am 31 and married with 4 kids. My wife homeschools are youngest two, and the oldest two are in school. We make $50k in total per year. We have paid off $60 of debt in 10 years of marriage and have $5k left in total debt. We have $20k saved for a house that we would use to expand our business (recording studio, home office). We would like to expand the business, which generates about $1.5k per month, to a full-time income. How should we proceed?" If you'd like me to answer your financial questions, please feel free to join us for private Q&A sessions for students only at AskDrBoyce.com.
In this episode I talk again to Edward Mills who appeared on the second episode of the podcast. Sincer we last spoke Edward has submitted his thesis and passed his viva with minor corrections, and in this episode we'll go right through that process from submission, to prep, to the viva itself and doing the corrections. You can find out about the Viva Survivors podcast and resources Edward mentions on the Viva Survivors website. Music credit: Happy Boy Theme Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Podcast transcript 1 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Hello and welcome to R, D and the Inbetweens. 2 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:32,000 I'm your host, Kelly Preece, and every fortnight I talk to a different guest about researches, development and everything in between. 3 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,000 Hi, everyone, and welcome to the latest episode of R, D in the In Betweens. 4 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:40,000 Today, I'm really pleased to be joined once again by Edward Mills, 5 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:48,000 who I spoke to very early on in the kind of the days of this podcast about writing up during the time of Corona virus. 6 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:56,000 And today, I'm really delighted to be talking to Edward about his experience of the VIva, which he passed last month with minor corrections. 7 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:01,000 So, Edward, tell us what you've been up to since we last spoke. 8 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:11,000 Well, it's a it's been a busy few months. I had my viva at the start of October. 9 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:20,000 And since then, I've been waiting for and subsequently received my corrections, which I'm currently working on as ever with postgrad life. 10 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:27,000 Plenty of other things have come up and got in the way as well. But it's been a it's been an exciting period, I think. 11 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:36,000 And I'm looking forward to talking about it today. Yeah. So. As I said at the start, you passed with minor corrections, which is absolutely fantastic. 12 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,000 Thank you. Let's talk. Okay. I think it'd be easiest to talk if we talk chronologically. 13 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Yeah. So talk to me about submission. 14 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:52,000 What was that like? So submitting was terrifying. 15 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,000 I actually started to think about submission a long time ago, 16 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,000 mainly because I'd spent the last year procrastinating by doing my acknowledgements, of course, Naturally 17 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:13,000 And. I really looked forward to the moment when I go up to the sid desk, the student information desk we have here in Exeter, and hand in my thesis, 18 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:18,000 having done it with a few other people before and having kind of helped them out and been with them and 19 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:23,000 taken the photos of them getting their thesis printed in the student print room just above all of that jazz. 20 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:29,000 I'm really looking forward to it. And then the rona happened. 21 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,000 Oh, she did. Yes. And unfortunately, that got in the way slightly. 22 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:41,000 So therefore, my submission process involved hitting send on an e-mail entitled My PhD Thesis. 23 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:49,000 Yeah, it doesn't quite have the same celebrator moment to it as kind of taking having a picture taken in the in 24 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:55,000 the forum and but especially not when you get an out of out of office reply email in response to it. 25 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,000 Yes. Yes. Because I sent over the weekend. 26 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:08,000 But I mean, even though the the moment of submission, perhaps perhaps less celebratory, I imagine the time afterwards wasn't any. 27 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:12,000 Was it about as anticlimactic as it usually is? Yes. 28 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:22,000 So in practical terms, what it meant for me was not sending a PDF, but sending a onedrive because my thesis was quite large. 29 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:28,000 And then the file size, not necessarily in terms of intellectual knowledge, but in terms of file size. 30 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:32,000 It was a minor corrections would disagree with you. In terms of file size, it was surprisingly large. 31 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:39,000 So what I ended up doing was having several PDFs chapter by chapter with high res images and then a single one for the whole thesis, 32 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000 volume one and volume two with low resolution images on it. 33 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:50,000 So I'd send that link off and then I had a minor panic because I couldn't quite grasp what I'd done. 34 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:55,000 I wasn't quite able to understand the enormity of having submitted a thesis. 35 00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:02,000 Luckily, I was doing some work the following morning so I couldn't focus too heavily on that. 36 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:13,000 But it was a slightly anticlimactic period, especially because not a lot happens between the submission and the Viva period. 37 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:20,000 You're in that sort of no man's land, apart from the occasional email from your internal examiner to confirm dates and times. 38 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:25,000 And then you get the teams notification in my case saying Edward Mills, viva, 39 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:30,000 because, of course, you did an online Viva, which will come to you in a moment. Yes, absolutely. Well, how so? 40 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:38,000 How long was the gap between submission and Viva? So I submitted on I think it was. 41 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:42,000 It was something like the 5th of September. OK. Or the note was a little early in that. 42 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:50,000 So I think that the twenty eighth of August, something along those lines and my viva was on the 5th of October. 43 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:56,000 So it was just about a month and a half. That's pretty... It was a fairly speedy that the regulations say it was. 44 00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:01,000 So it's to be within what, three months. Yeah, but it's one of those sort of at Exeter 45 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Certainly the regulations are within usually within three months because there were all sorts 46 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:09,000 of reasons why it might need to go beyond three months in terms of availability of externals, 47 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:14,000 etc, etc. But my my viva itself was on the 5th of October. 48 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:21,000 So within within a couple of months after submission, even if I can remember the exact date when I when I hit submit or send one. 49 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:30,000 So when did you start preparing for the viva? 50 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:37,000 I think preparing for the viva actually began before I submitted to a certain degree. 51 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,000 I've been very fortunate to have a wonderful, 52 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:48,000 wonderful PhD supervisor and on a few occasions we did discuss things in the thesis I was drafting them that we thought were defensible. 53 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,000 That would need to be defended at the Viva. 54 00:05:50,000 --> 00:06:00,000 So particular decisions we'd taken in terms of why I'd taken intend to structure in terms of points of focus, in terms of what I hadn't focussed on. 55 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:09,000 But in practical terms, I would certainly say that the main prep for the viva actually happened fairly shortly beforehand. 56 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:15,000 I spent the first couple of weeks after I submitted doing teaching. 57 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:21,000 Which meant that I was something external to the university, which meant that I wasn't really looking at the thesis all that much, 58 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:25,000 that's probably a good thing in terms of having a fresh pair of eyes to come back to it. Yeah. 59 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,000 We always advise that. I'm hoping at some point you took some form of a break. Oh, absolutely. 60 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000 Yes. 61 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:40,000 I, I, I did a a big celebratory bike ride, which those of you who remember my previous podcast will remember talking about whizzing downhills going. 62 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:46,000 We it's it's not how everybody would choose to celebrate, but it's how I chose to sell. 63 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:52,000 Well indeed. We were still inside while we were under restrictions in the UK. 64 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:57,000 So celebrations have taken on a very different meaning in the last six months. 65 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:08,000 Yes, this is very true. But in the stage, running up to the viva itself, I think most of the prep that I did falls into two stages. 66 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:16,000 The first was learning about the Viva itself and understanding a bit more about what the viva would be and what it would be like. 67 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:22,000 That included a lot of things I did before I submitted, including attending some of the sessions. 68 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,000 thedoctoral college offers. Thank you for the plug, I think. All right. 69 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:36,000 now worries. And that also included talking to quite a few people who'd been through Viva, both in my discipline, 70 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:41,000 which is modern languages and mediaeval studies, and also outside of it as well. 71 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:46,000 So. Just to pick up on that, I. When you when you were speaking to people. 72 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:52,000 Yes. About their viva experiences, what were you asking them? 73 00:07:52,000 --> 00:08:02,000 I was asking them to describe how their viva experience was, if there was anything that they did not expect in their viva, OK? 74 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:08,000 And also what they might have done differently and what advice they might have for me. 75 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:15,000 And I got a very wide range of pieces of advice coming back at me. 76 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:20,000 And I think the thing that emerged throughout all of that was you're the expert. 77 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:29,000 It's difficult to believe that. I'm sure that something will come back to later in the podcast. But that was the main theme that came out from it. 78 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:40,000 One practical piece of advice that I received, which I would very much recommend people do, is to produce a. 79 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:48,000 e prep document of some form and a friend of mine very kindly passed on theirs, 80 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:52,000 which basically included brief summaries of some of their chapters. 81 00:08:52,000 --> 00:09:00,000 I expanded that myself to make it the thesis on one side of a4 or summarised each section of my thesis. 82 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,000 This is moving on to sort of the second stage now, 83 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:11,000 which is annotating and improving and augmenting the thesis, if you like, for the Viva and like augmenting. 84 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:16,000 Oh, yes, absolutely. So it's a VR thesis some way. We'll talk about that in a second. 85 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:23,000 And I adapted that to my thesis on one side of A4, which made it much easier to refer to. 86 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:29,000 And as a piece of advice I've actually had given and a number of times by. 87 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:34,000 Academics and researchers to actually being able to articulate it on one side 88 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,000 of A4 and either in kind of precis form or in bullet point form is really, 89 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:49,000 really important because it helps you. Crystallise and consolidate what the main driver of it is, which is often something you're asked to do right. 90 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,000 The beginning of the viva is a warm up question, but will come back. Oh, absolutely. 91 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:58,000 And I was very much hoping that I'd have to do it, octosylabic couplets, but unfortunately, that never happened. 92 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,000 Yes. Well, I think that might be a challenge for most people. There's also a bit niche isn't it. 93 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:07,000 The other thing I did, based on that particular piece advice, my friends, 94 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:13,000 which I heartily recommend, is producing what I called the kind of nightmare sheet 95 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:20,000 which was basically all of the questions I hoped I wouldn't be asked, but expected I probably would be. 96 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:30,000 Yes. So questions about why you've done this or any holds you think you might have spotted so that you can look at that. 97 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:36,000 There is no rule against taking notes into your viva. Certainly here at Exeter, I know the rules may vary always read the label. 98 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:43,000 But in Exeter, it was it was something I did check with my chair of the Viva. 99 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:52,000 And there were no issues there whatsoever. And that led me on to this sort of second stage of prep, which was the augmented or the annotated thesis. 100 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:57,000 Everyone talks about annotating your thesis or be reading it before the viva. 101 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:01,000 I came across a term in a podcast called Viva Survivors, 102 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:07,000 which I'm sure people listening to this podcast may already have heard, and we'll put a link to it in the show notes. 103 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:13,000 But the advice there was to think of notes you add to your thesis as augmenting them. 104 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,000 The point being that you're making those notes so that you can further them in the Vivas. 105 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:24,000 So you want to make your thesis more navigable for you. You want to make your thesis more friendly for you. 106 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,000 And you want to make your thesis. Searchable figures. 107 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000 Yes. And that's precisely what the notes were about. 108 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:38,000 I divided my notes into three types, a different colour highlighter for each one typos, which rapidly became just a list at the end instead. 109 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:47,000 That was much easier. Yes. Danger points, which were things I suspected will be picked up on no relation to Danger Mouse. 110 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:53,000 And then also points for expansions are things I've discovered since submission 111 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:58,000 or things I thought I could say more on if I if I were given the opportunity. 112 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,000 Those were the ones where I knew I could go off on a little kind of excitable tangent, 113 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,000 which is something I'm sure we'll talk about in the viva itself. 114 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:16,000 So those were the two steps really of prep the beforehand the kind of discovery about the viva and the initial thinking about how I'd approach it. 115 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:24,000 And then the actual sitting down and reading through the thesis again and augmenting the reading through it actually took place fairly later on. 116 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:33,000 So I, I finished reading it. You know, in the days before the viva rather than like a month beforehand, that. 117 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:38,000 But I imagine that is even more fresh in your mind. Yes, that's one advantage of doing it that way. 118 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:44,000 You're absolutely right. So did you do any kind of did you a mock viva? 119 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,000 Did you do any practise aloud of answering the 120 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:53,000 You know, you said about your nightmare sheet. Did you practise verbally the answers to those questions or was it all very kind of 121 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:59,000 The augmentation and the prep documents were paper based. I wondered if you did anything. 122 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:04,000 So I've. Try to sort of speak about my research. 123 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Throughout my thesis, I'm quite lucky to have been given the chance to do that and we've taken the chance to do that in various places. 124 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:17,000 So it wasn't my first time speaking about my thesis in in some detail. 125 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:22,000 And I think that's one of the reasons I didn't do a full mock vivA. 126 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:28,000 What I did do, though, is on the morning of my of my thesis, Viva I. 127 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:33,000 I was lucky enough to meet my supervisor and said to him, Wait. Could I ask a favour? 128 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,000 Would you be willing to make me uncomfortable? 129 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:45,000 You ask me all of the really, really hard questions that I don't want to be asked, as unreasonable as you might think they are having you. 130 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:51,000 And they've been with me on this thesis journey. Can you put me on the spot, please? 131 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,000 And then we'll discuss the responses I give to that. 132 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:58,000 And obviously, that was basically a chance for me to practise, referring to the nightmare scenario sheet. 133 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:04,000 And how was that? Supposing you were awkward, because my supervisor, when I get on quite well. 134 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:12,000 So it was very strange to hear him picking up so many things that we'd already discussed. 135 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:19,000 Obviously, there was. This is the other danger of doing that. Yeah. There was another practical issue on my part, which is I don't. 136 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:26,000 In order to have a mock viva, in some respects, that needs to be done with people who are intimately familiar with your thesis. 137 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:32,000 And that wasn't necessarily the case for me, that there were that many people who could do that. 138 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,000 Yes, of course, it depends a lot on the department that you're in. 139 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:43,000 I would always advocate making the mock viva's something you're doing for years rather than something that you have before the Viva. 140 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:50,000 But of course, it is a really useful tool. I know plenty of people who've had one and would recommend one as an essential part of it. 141 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:55,000 Yeah, and I think that's part of the kind of the subjective nature of this. 142 00:14:55,000 --> 00:15:00,000 You know, it's about finding the kind of preparation that works for you. 143 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:08,000 So you've said about the morning of the viva, you speak to your supervisor, got them to ask you awkward questions. 144 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:14,000 And we mentioned earlier your viva was online as so many Vivas that are taking place now. 145 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:22,000 Ah. And I would imagine increasingly in the future and the majority of vivas will be at the very least blended, if not online. 146 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:30,000 Can you talk a little bit about your feelings about doing the Viva online So online vivas 147 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,000 I think, as you say, it's going to become more and more the norm. 148 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:41,000 Yeah. In the future, even after restrictions are eased. 149 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:48,000 I myself didn't have too many qualms about doing my Viva online it 150 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:57,000 Didn't seem to me to be a huge change, and in some respects it has its own advantages, which we'll talk about later, I'm sure. 151 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:02,000 It was nerve wracking, of course, being on my own in a room. 152 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:06,000 I was basically in my flat before the viva started. 153 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:11,000 And I was just sitting there looking at this incoming teamn notifcation called Edward Mills. 154 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:16,000 Viva which is faintly errifying. Yeah, rather ominous name for me. 155 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:22,000 I did have to go and stick a sign on my on my flat door saying, please don't disturb. 156 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Viva in progress. Thanks very much. Say it was. 157 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:39,000 It was an. Ominous and slightly nerve wracking experience, but it's not as big a deal beforehand as I'd expected it to be. 158 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:44,000 Indeed, during the Viva itself, I guess there's all that much to say about the fact that it was online. 159 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:49,000 And that seems to be what so initially when, you know, all these things started moving online, 160 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:53,000 one of the conversations a lot people were having was kind of like, we know how do we support be able to do online? 161 00:16:53,000 --> 00:17:02,000 And as people started to do them and upgrade Vivas as well. The thing that came back was actually materially it's not very different. 162 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,000 No. And we did have a requirement to say this was myself. 163 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:14,000 The were all those in attendance. So myself, the internal, the external. 164 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:19,000 And there was a chair as well in my viva, a non examining independent chair 165 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000 Yes. 166 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:29,000 To say that we did not feel that the viva had been conducted unfairly and that we did not feel that there was any detriment to having conducted online. 167 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:36,000 That's a very important thing to note. Having the viva online did have one advantage to it, and this is, again, 168 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:42,000 something that I checked with the chair during the viva itself, which is I was able to share my screen. 169 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:48,000 Yes. And this is one practical thing that I found very, very useful because I was able to pull up. 170 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,000 In my specific case, I work a lot with mediaeval manuscripts. 171 00:17:52,000 --> 00:18:01,000 So in my case, I was able to pull up images and to show those images in a greater resolution than could be shown in the images from my thesis. 172 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:09,000 Absolutely. And certainly, you know, in a Face-To-Face viva, you could take in a USB stick with similar content on. 173 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:15,000 And then if you were asked and there's usually a computer in a room because when when isn't there a computer in a room these days? 174 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:22,000 You could show it, but much, much less clunky and much easier to kind of prepare for and to do in the moment. 175 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:28,000 And also, of course, having a PDF copy of your thesis on the computer in front of you means it's searchable. 176 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:32,000 you probably remember I checked this with you before the viva 177 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Whether this was alright or not Yes. But you can just control F and find a particular term. 178 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,000 And then flick to that page in your in your printed theses, which I would very much recommend you. 179 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:48,000 You have for anyone who's visualising this at home, by the way, I have this on the table in front of me right now. 180 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:56,000 This is what thesis sounds like. Sorry. I'm sure anyone who wasn't expecting that will thank me. 181 00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:01,000 Their ears will thank you later. Yes. I believe the phrase is RIP headphone users. 182 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:09,000 Yes. Really sorry. So. How long was your viva? 183 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:19,000 Long, very long, specifically four hours, which I'm not I'm not gasping in a in in shock because I already knew this. 184 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:27,000 This is why I asked you. But the so at Exeter four hours is the absolute absolute maximum. 185 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:36,000 It could be. Yes, it is. Yeah. And isn't it right that your examiners spent basically no time discussing the outcome because 186 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,000 they had to get the result back to you and do all of that within that four hour time limit? 187 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:48,000 Yes. So if I remember this correctly, we had a two hour slot, basically, then another two hour slots. 188 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:54,000 We had a break in the middle, which was ten minutes. We went through it chapter by chapter. 189 00:19:54,000 --> 00:20:00,000 So the break came after about two hours for about 10 minutes or so. 190 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:13,000 And then after that, just about three hours and 40 minutes into the viva and the chair pointed out that they had to finish the viva soon 191 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,000 And therefore, I was asked to leave the room, the virtual room. 192 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:20,000 This is the thing people have asked this in. Q And A's I've been involved with since then. 193 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:28,000 Yes. So leaving the room literally means, in this case, hanging up the teams call and then rejoining 10 minutes later. 194 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:34,000 What did you do in that 10 minutes? Mostly pacing nervously around my small flat. 195 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:40,000 Yeah. Guess at least if you're in the department, your your supervisor will , will be physically there, 196 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:47,000 and people tend to go to people's offices or they'll go to their office or, you know, they'll have people to interact with. 197 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,000 That must have been even though it was only ten minutes. 198 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:55,000 It must have been an incredibly nerve wracking ten minutes. Yeah, it was nerve wracking. 199 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000 There's actually no requirement for supervisors to attend. 200 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:02,000 No, it's it's an option. Yes. Many supervisors might want to. 201 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:07,000 My supervisor was very keen to give me the choice of of him not attending if if I'd rather not. 202 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:15,000 Yes. I was perfectly happy for him to attend. And in fact, it was slightly easier in some respects than it would have been if I had been in in person, 203 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:21,000 rather because he was able to mite himself and turn off his video. So he was in kind of unannounced observing background. 204 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,000 Yes. Which which is if you're doing it face to face, exactly how it should be. 205 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:30,000 Yes. So. How was it four hours? 206 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:36,000 I mean, for a lot of people who listening to this, that's going to sound like a horror story. 207 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:45,000 So tell us how it was. Well, I think the first thing to say is it was four hours because there was a lot to talk about. 208 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:51,000 Not four hours because they were testing how long I could go without having a drink over a cup of coffee. 209 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,000 Incidentally, the answer to that question is four hours. Yes. 210 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,000 Generally, though, the viva was a really positive experience. 211 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:03,000 And that's not something that I was expecting. 212 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,000 It's something that you hear from. A lot of people say no, actually really enjoyed them all the time. 213 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:19,000 But going into the viva, I did not expect that my my pathological fear was of major corrections or revise and resubmit 214 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:29,000 And neither that is necessarily bad outcomes. It's important to say, but I had it in my head that they were. 215 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:35,000 But if I can enjoy the Viva. Anyone can, because I was terrified beforehand, is what you say about that. 216 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:43,000 Yes. So in terms of how the viva actually went. Each of my examiners took the lead on a different Chapter 217 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:51,000 It just so happened that my internal examiner was an expert in one of the things I discussed in the chapter, which, you know, is not always the case. 218 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:56,000 No. And it's not always the case that they do go that kind of chronologically through their thesis. 219 00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:02,000 It's much more common in the sciences, but less so in the humanities. So it seems like it's interesting. 220 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,000 Interesting that they took that approach. Yeah. 221 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:08,000 It's worth noting the examiners did explain at the start of the viva what they'd done 222 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:13,000 What they'd done beforehand, which is that they'd met together. And then they'd compared notes. 223 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:19,000 Yes. So they clearly had a strategy in mind, like in terms of what actually happened. 224 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:26,000 First, we had a little bit of admin at the start where the way the chair sort of clarified what 225 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:32,000 would be going on and what her role was and asked if you had any Gwenny questions and, 226 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:36,000 you know, maximum time limits and so on and so forth. 227 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:43,000 But I was very lucky, actually, in that my internal took the lead on a lot of the a lot of the kind of admin stuff. 228 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:50,000 And as a way into the viva itself, she actually explained what the thesis was measuring. 229 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,000 And I'm sure that the... You mean the examination criteria? 230 00:23:54,000 --> 00:24:02,000 Yes. Things like the ability to create new knowledge and satisfactory literary presentation, listening presentation, conceptualising a project, adjusting its design. 231 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:06,000 Those five ideas, I'm sure listeners to this podcast have come across before. 232 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:17,000 Yeah. So how did they start the questioning? Well, they started by telling me that I had passed 233 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:21,000 They did not tell me what kind of pass it was. Yeah. 234 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:26,000 So that's. Again, that's relatively unusual. 235 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:33,000 So a pass would mean you would be one of a kind of three of the four possible options, an outcome. 236 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,000 So you either, no corrections, minor corrections or major corrections. 237 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:41,000 And it's important to say that it's not common practise necessarily to do that. 238 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:49,000 Some examiners do, some examiners don't. But if they don't do that, it doesn't mean that you've got to revise and resubmit or anything like that. 239 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,000 It's just it's a stylistic thing. 240 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:59,000 It's also worth saying, I think, that they were not saying, as you probably pointed out, that I had passed with minor corrections. 241 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:06,000 They were simply saying that I would not have a revise and resubmit, which again, is not necessarily a comment on the quality of the thesis. 242 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:14,000 You've said before that. They reflects much more than just how good or bad the thesis is in and of itself. 243 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:19,000 Questions about the scope of the thesis and so on come into the decision for revise and resubmit 244 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,000 Oh, yeah. But it's it's a complex. So it's a complex. 245 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:28,000 Yes. Yeah. It really is thing. And a lot of it is the difference between certainly between minor. 246 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:35,000 and major is still the amount of time it would take you to do the corrections rather than the supposed flaws or weakness in the thesis, 247 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,000 which I think is how, you know, when you were saying about you were concerned about getting you know, 248 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:44,000 you were convinced it was going to be major corrections or a revise and resubmit. We tend to think about that on a kind of. 249 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:49,000 You said it yourself. Good or bad, pass or fail. And flaw based model. 250 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:57,000 Whereas actually, it's it's not about that. It's about what needs to be done to bring the thesis to a pass 251 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,000 Yes. And what how long that will take. 252 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:11,000 Quite right. Yeah. My approach when I got told that it was a pass, I assumed that it was go they were going to be corrections. 253 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,000 I always assumed I would get corrections. I think that's a healthy way of doing it. 254 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,000 Statistically, much more likely. Yes. 255 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:28,000 And my decision when I heard that you've passed this is about improving and rendering the thesis was to say, okay. 256 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:33,000 Right. My job now for the next, however long it would be would be to convince the 257 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:39,000 examiners that I should be awarded minor corrections rather than major ones, 258 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:45,000 both by defending what could reasonably be defended and justified decisions I'd made, 259 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:53,000 and also by showing them through my knowledge of the topics and through my engagement with the thesis since the viva 260 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:58,000 that the changes that I would need to make, that I would not be able to sort of. 261 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:05,000 Justify not doing could be made sufficiently quickly for them to count as minor rather than major 262 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:10,000 which comes back to your point about how it's a time thing, rather than a quality thing. 263 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,000 So what kind of things did they ask you? 264 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:20,000 So some questions that they asked me were very specific, and I think that a lot of the time when people are prepping for the viva 265 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:26,000 what they want to know is what questions you ask, what questions you ask. And as a kind of what what questions am I going to be asked? 266 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:31,000 Whereas actually that there isn't a kind of apart from the warm up questions like. 267 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:35,000 So tell us a little bit about your argument or how you came to do this research. 268 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:41,000 The questions are so detailed and so specific that it's very difficult to kind of compare notes, 269 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:45,000 as it were, across different Vivas and across different topic areas. 270 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:51,000 Yes. So my question, for example, on my certain. 271 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:58,000 Lack of criticality in accepting a characterisation of Anglo norman literature as precocious 272 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:03,000 would probably not come up in most people's vivas to give an example of a very specific question. 273 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:10,000 However, the kind of general sentiment behind that would come up, which is a certain lack of political distance in adopting critical terms. 274 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:20,000 Yet another example of that. The first question I was asked in the entire Viva was. 275 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:26,000 How do you think your writing style affected Your argument? 276 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:31,000 Wow. Not that I have to say that's not what I've heard before or words to that effect. 277 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:42,000 And it came back to a tendency in my writing generally actually to set up binaries and work to 278 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:46,000 problematise, them? That's diving in at the deep end. 279 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:53,000 Even though those binaries might not necessarily be accurate. 280 00:28:53,000 --> 00:29:00,000 So I set myself up frameworks within which I have to work, which are occasionally a little bit restrictive in what they allow me to do. 281 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:06,000 And there were several examples of this throughout the thesis. But yes, it was diving in at the deep end. 282 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:12,000 It was an excellent question. I should add, my internal examiners had also been an examiner for my upgrade. 283 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:20,000 Viva! And what that meant was I was able to make connection between the upgrade viva the feedback and the Viva aims 284 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:24,000 So to give one example, 285 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:30,000 I would probably need to justify a slight methodological distinction between Chapter one and the rest of the thesis. 286 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:36,000 Chapter one is quite linguistic in its approach. The rest of the chapters are much more traditionally literary. 287 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:43,000 And in justifying that I went back to the feedback that I received in my upgrade viva from my upcoming internal examiner, 288 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:52,000 who suggested that I need to develop a methodology that ranges beyond the close reading to embrace theoretical insights related to my materials. 289 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,000 And I use the linguistic chapter as an example of how one might do that. 290 00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:06,000 There were others throughout, of course, but that's an example of how the experience of the upgrade Viva actually helped me to develop the 291 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:13,000 viva itself when it came to sitting down in front of that same examiner again three years later. 292 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,000 That's really brilliant. And so what you know, you said that the questions are very specific. 293 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:26,000 And, you know, you had one about the writing style and kind of setting binaries and dichotomies and theoretical frameworks. 294 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:31,000 What other what other topic areas were the questions they asked you in? 295 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:37,000 So the question's broadly fail into sort of three groups, if you like. 296 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:43,000 They were often focussed around specific points in the thesis of why you characterised X as Y. 297 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:52,000 But for the broad trends, questions included why I chose to cover certain types of text in my thesis and not others. 298 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:58,000 So is that to do with my primary data kind of thing? Yes. Is to do with what my what my source material. 299 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:07,000 Yes. Yes. And also why not others related to that was why I'd chosen to focus on texts in French of mediaeval England as opposed to, 300 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,000 say, continental French material. And there were good answers to both of those. 301 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,000 One one acceptable answer is simply scope. 302 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:21,000 But there were also more discipline specific reasons, as well as to why the French in mediaeval England is worthy of study in its own right. 303 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,000 Yes, there were theoretical questions about the frameworks that I'd used. 304 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:30,000 So, for example, how I was how I was using certain tools from manuscript studies. 305 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,000 So to to look at some of these mediaeval books. 306 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:41,000 But one thing that stuck out at me was the tendency for the examiners to very kindly divide their feedback into kind of corrections and comments. 307 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:46,000 So did they articulate that in the in the viva? Were they making very clear what was a correction? 308 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,000 What were the comments? What they said was they would produce two reports effectively. 309 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,000 OK. And what they did in the end was use one report with a preface to all of the all 310 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:59,000 of the kind of things to highlight for possible future publication with comment. 311 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:03,000 And they were they saying that in the main body of the viva or just in the kind of feedback that. 312 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,000 No, they said fairly early on in the viva as well. 313 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:11,000 But I didn't know stage by stage as they went through what was what. 314 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:15,000 No, but that's a massive hint. It is. 315 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,000 And I was very fortunate in that respect. 316 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:22,000 And I know that's not that I may not be standard practise, although, of course, it's that there is no such thing as standard practise for either. 317 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:27,000 No. A lot of the time, you know, if if they think that it's, you know, there's nothing to worry about, 318 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,000 they will try their best to kind of indicate that to you in various ways, 319 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:38,000 like saying, you know, well, when you think about publishing this or they're not specific things to do with the examination and the outcome. 320 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:44,000 But there are ways to kind of guide you towards or at least sort of reassure you that this is going to be all right. 321 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:49,000 Don't worry. That's true. Although that doesn't necessarily mean that the comments for publication are Minor. 322 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,000 It's worth noting that the one of my comments, 323 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:57,000 if I want to publish one thing I these do is seriously reconsider the methodology behind one of my chapters. 324 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:02,000 Yeah. That does not make it ineligible at PhD level for an award. 325 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:10,000 No, but it was a an interesting sort of critical reflection on what might be needed to do how and when. 326 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:14,000 And I get the impression I'll be using the corrections that I've got. 327 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:20,000 Which Examiners is also worth stressing produce have to produce a written report on Viva with a list of corrections, 328 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000 including typos that they would like you to make. 329 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:32,000 I'm going to be using this list of corrections for at least the next year rather than just to kind of get myself to the next hurdle, 330 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:39,000 which would be submitting my revisions. So where are you in the process now? 331 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:45,000 I'm currently at the stage of making the revisions that I have to make with a view to submitting them before Christmas. 332 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:57,000 If all goes well, it's an exciting time. I mean, I'm I'm very lucky in that the feedback that I've got is comprehensive, which means that I can. 333 00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:06,000 Reflect on them. And there's plenty of material left to work with. So the report you've got are the corrections very specific? 334 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:11,000 Yes, they are indicated by page. Oh, wow. So I'll I'll give an example. 335 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:20,000 Yes. By all means. Yes. So. So, for example, I have on page 22 a comment saying, 336 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:26,000 why is the Anglo norman text society unusually assiduous as opposed to various other text editing bodies? 337 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,000 And then a wonderful comment here. Very few adverbs earned their place in prose. 338 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:38,000 And then you open up a can of worms worth scrutinising the impulse to use an adverb in most cases, and almost always an improvement to edit them out. 339 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:44,000 That's a very specific comment, but also a much broader idea about my writing style, which I very much appreciate it. 340 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:48,000 So you're working through the report? Yes, absolutely. 341 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:55,000 Enjoying turns of phrase like that is taking into account to make the thesis better. 342 00:34:55,000 --> 00:35:02,000 That's one of the most exciting things, actually, about it. It's not just a question of taking another hoop to jump through. 343 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:08,000 It's about engaging again with something that I spent four years of my life very close to and developing 344 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:15,000 in collaboration with people who've read it very closely and have provided very detailed feedback. 345 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:20,000 So how much longer do you think you have to do on the corrections? 346 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:26,000 Not a huge amount more. I've had the meeting with my supervisor to discuss it on stage. 347 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:31,000 I'm starting to make the minor corrections, some of them I can make immediately. 348 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,000 A lot of them are typos. 349 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:40,000 I have a list that I provided, a list in the viva itself, which got some went some way to suggesting that I there would be minor changes. 350 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:46,000 What the major ones I would hope. I'm anticipating I should get it done before Christmas, as I say. 351 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:51,000 And that's alongside other work that I am taking on the moment as well. 352 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,000 And I guess that's that's the final question. 353 00:35:53,000 --> 00:36:03,000 What next or afterwards when you finally get that email that says, Dear Dr. Edward Mills, what are you gonna be doing? 354 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:08,000 Probably doing a happy little dance around the kitchen is the honest answer to that. 355 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:13,000 First of all, good. I'm very, very fortunate to be involved in some some postdoc work. 356 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:19,000 And, um, I'm exploring my options at the moment. If anyone needs Star Trek, translated into Anglo Norman French. 357 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:23,000 I strongly encourage you to contact me. Oh, wow. I really. 358 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:29,000 I've done this. Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah, it's niche. But then niche is kind of a PhD anyway, isn't it. 359 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:39,000 It really is. So you you said earlier on that in the run up to your viva, you asked people that you knew that had done vivas 360 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:47,000 What kind of advice they had ans. What would you do now that you've had your viva? 361 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:53,000 What would you say? What are you going to say when inevitably other students ask you that question? 362 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:59,000 Not any piece of advice, but something that I didn't believe at first. 363 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:05,000 Everyone says going into the PhD viva either you're the expert, you're the expert, you're the expert. 364 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:10,000 I did not believe that. No-one does. Well, few people believe that. 365 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:18,000 But as someone who didn't think that he was the expert until he was given some positive feedback in the viva. 366 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:23,000 And who even now really doubts that he knows anything at all. 367 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:29,000 You are the expert. You really are. And if you can believe that even slightly before the viva, 368 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:34,000 you put yourself in a much stronger position to take criticism and take comments on board for what they are, 369 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:42,000 which is not attempts to bring you down for the sake of it. But attempts in good faith to improve a piece of work that. 370 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:50,000 The examiners, in all likelihood, really enjoyed reading. Thank you so much, Edward, for taking the time to talk to me again, 371 00:37:50,000 --> 00:38:01,000 particularly during the busy period of doing those corrections alongside other work, which I am sure he is eager to get done as quickly as possible. 372 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:32,885 And that's it for this episode. Don't forget to, like, rare and subscribe and join me next time whn I'll be talking to someone else about researchers, development, and everything in between
Acts 5:1-11 Music by Bev B. Special Music by Janice M., Word of God Speak, by Mercy Me
"Jurassic World: Evolution" & "Signs of the Sojourner." Tune into KUCI 88.9 FM in Irvine or kuci.org to listen live every Friday at 4:30 PM!
In these tough times, many people have been expressing their admiration for Provincial Health Officer Dr. Bonnie Henry. B.C. residents have stated that her calm demeanor and daily updates on the COVID-19 pandemic have brought them a sense of calm and reassurance during these turbulent times. A pair of women have taken their admiration a step further and have written a song in tribute to our provincial health officer. Here is a clip of their original song, Dear Dr. Bonnie… Guest: Vicki Ferguson, Co-star of Dear Dr. Bonnie
Chapter 1 Hot question of the day It's @jillreports's hot question of the day: Mandated closures and work from home measures to prevent the spread of #COVID19 are having a major impact on small businesses right across Canada. Are you doing anything to help small businesses if you can? Buying a gift card Ordering take out Signed up for food delivery You can vote on Twitter at @CKNW. You can also call the CKNW Buzz Line at (604) 331-BUZZ (2899) and leave your vote there! Chapter 2 Why the Canada/US relationship is different than other countries Sweeping new measures announced by the federal government this morning amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made the announcement this morning that the Canada/US border will be closed off to non-essential travel during this time. He says trade won't be impacted. Guest: Michael Campbell, Host of MoneyTalks on CKNW Chapter 3 Immigration Lawyer says people on both sides of the border are concerned about border closing An immigration lawyer based in Blaine, Washington who is hearing from people who live on one side of the border but work on the other who are concerned about the border closing. Guest: Len Saunders, Immigration Lawyer, based in Blaine, Washington Chapter 4 Greater Vancouver Board of Trade reacts to announcements from Prime Minister Trudeau The Prime Minister announced the closure of the U.S. Border to non-essential travel but says it won't impact trade between Canada and the U.S. Bridgitte Anderson is the CEO of the Greater Vancouver Board of Trade, and she joins us now to discuss the impact of the unprecedented border closure, and how businesses are dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic closures. Guest: Bridgitte Anderson, CEO, Greater Vancouver Board of Trade Chapter 5 8 Langley firefighters in isolation after being exposed for COVID-19 8 Langley township firefighters are now in isolation after being exposed to COVID-19 while on duty. Fraser Health Authority informed the Deputy Chief Bruce Ferguson the firefighters on a specific call earlier this month had been exposed. How are the firefighters doing now, and how will this incident change the way first responders attend emergencies? Guest: Bruce Ferguson, Township of Langley Deputy Fire Chief Chapter 6 UK introduces new measures to help fight COVID-19 Amid a worsening COVID-19 situation in the UK, the government is announcing new measures right now including school closures. Guest: Redmond Shannon, Europe Correspondent for Global News Chapter 7 Port Coquitlam Utility Bill deadline to be delayed Port Coquitlam mayor Brad West introduced a motion last night at council to waive late payment fees for water and sewer levies. Guest: Brad West, Mayor of Port Coquitlam Chapter 8 Province of B.C. declares a state of emergency Public Safety Minister and Government House leader Mike Farnworth has declared a provincial state of emergency to address the COVID-19 pandemic. What does this mean, how will it be implemented, and how will it affect our lives? Guest: Richard Zussman, Global News Online Journalist based at the legislature Chapter 9 Pair of women sing ode to Dr. Bonnie Henry In these tough times, many people have been expressing their admiration for Provincial Health Officer Dr. Bonnie Henry. B.C. residents have stated that her calm demeanor and daily updates on the COVID-19 pandemic have brought them a sense of calm and reassurance during these turbulent times. A pair of women have taken their admiration a step further and have written a song in tribute to our provincial health officer. Here is a clip of their original song, Dear Dr. Bonnie… Guest: Vicki Ferguson, Co-star of Dear Dr. Bonnie Chapter 10 Local animal hospital steps up to help pet owners affected by COVID-19 crisis The RAPS Animal Hospital, a full-service, not-for-profit veterinary facility located in Richmond, is offering financial support for pets in households affected economically by the current health emergency related to Coronavirus disease (COVID-19). RAPS is offering no-interest wellness plans for clients experiencing coronavirus-related – or any other – financial challenges. As a community-owned facility, the hospital also has competitive overall rates. RAPS also offers discounts of 25% or more to first responders, medical professionals and frontline healthcare workers for almost all veterinary services. Guest: Eyal Lichtmann, CEO and executive director of the Regional Animal Protection Society
In this emergency episode we take a more serious tone. Part one is devoted to housekeeping, while part two is devoted to a "Dear Dr. D." question about what to think about when moving instruction online when you can't meet face to face due to COVID 19. Worth sharing with anyone who is worried about what to do over the next few weeks. Remember, you this podcast's content is generated by listeners like you. Share your stories, check out our topics, and download the preview episodes at www.teachersteatimepod.com or get in touch with me by email: TeachersTeaTimePod@gmail.com This podcast is available in iTunes. Subscribe with this URL: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-teatimeteachings-podcast/id1497468044 For other podcatchers, subscribe with this one: https://feed.podbean.com/teatimeteaching/feed.xml google-site-verification: google931ada31ea617933.html
Teacher's Teatime Podcast - Trailer A podcast of stories for, of, and about teachers, teaching, students, education, and anyone who has ever been in a school. We've all been to school. Some of us for longer than others (I'm in my 43rd year of education if you count my time as a student). We all have stories to tell and share. I want to hear them. This podcast aims to be a short (20 minute) podcast of stories about anything to do with schools, schooling and higher education. I could share some of mine, but I want to hear stories from everyone else. Everyone has a school story to share. Whether you are an educator, a student, or a parent, I'm pretty certain you can tell a story or two... Right now, we a collecting stories on the following topics: 1) Why do I teach? 2) My favorite teacher. 3) I want to say thanks. 4) Epic fails. 5) That was unusual. 6) When meetings go bad. 7) Parent conferences with a twist. 8) Administration said what? 9) Getting out of a sticky situation. 10) Things that are better left for an email. If you have a story you want to share please send an email to: TeachersTeatimePod@gmail.com. Please put the topic number and title in the email header. My intention is for every contribution to make it "on air". Nothing gets wasted and all stories are worth telling. If demand has it, we will also have an educational "agony" column - "Dear Dr. D....". Working on the premise that a problem shared is a problem halved, we want to hear your problems and your solutions too. Of course, anonymity will be respected. Please send in suggestions for topics you would like for me to add to the list. As well as anything else you want to hear about. There are lots of excellent education podcasts sharing good practice, discussing research, addressing trends and issues. We could do that, but I'd rather hear stories about the people in our classrooms. So put the kettle on, sit back, take a short break and listen to stories about what really happens in schools. The Teacher's Teatime Pod will be available at all respectable podcatchers. Listen to the trailer here
Improving Donor Relations: Getting The Right Message To The Right People With The Right RhythmInterview with Wordsprint CEO Bill Gilmer Read the Interview Hugh Ballou: Hey, folks, it's Hugh Ballou. Another chapter of The Nonprofit Exchange. Russell David Dennis, last week you and I were in Florida. It's a good thing we're not there this week. Russell Dennis: Yes, it's a bit windy down there now. I'm hoping everyone is okay. It's looking like the storm is turning off and it's not going as far inland as they initially thought. Hopefully all of our friends and the wonderful people down at Kaiser who made us feel so welcome are okay. Hugh: It's called a hurricane, but it's really a slowcane. It's going slowly through there. Welcome folks to this episode. We have a special guest today, Bill Gilmer. He has been on the ride with us ever since we started the magazine. I think over five years ago. Bill Gilmer, welcome to The Nonprofit Exchange. Bill Gilmer: Thanks. Glad to be here. Unlike Russell, I am in chillier Blacksburg, Virginia. No hurricane on my horizon, I don't think. Hugh: Yeah, we just are down the road in Lynchburg. Bill, we ask our guests to say a little bit about themselves. Some background. Why is it you're doing this important work you're doing today? Bill: My background, I used to be a printer. I used to run a printing company. Over the years, we discovered that most of the work we were doing was for nonprofits. Over the years, we started tracking response rates on donor relation campaigns. We have put together a system of marketing to donors, and that's what we do every day. Help folks build relationships with their donor base. Hugh: You've been working with SynerVision five or six years ago. Let's declare up front that Wordsprint, Bill's company, is a sponsor of Nonprofit Performance Magazine and SynerVision's work in general. We talk about you often on these podcasts. It's a pleasure to have you here live and in person. This is not an infomercial for Wordsprint, but we know the value of your work. We talk about the 30/30/30. That's the secret for success. Just to be clear, people can do this on their own. They don't need you. But if they want to do it the very best way possible, you know how to do that. I want to be clear on that. Explain what this 30/30/30/10 is all about. Bill: What we discovered, and this is lots of data, we started tracking this back in the early 2000s. I think we're up to 20 million touches, 15,000 campaigns. What we discovered is that there are three things that matter. It's our three-bit marketing system. There are three things that matter when it comes to donor relations. The first is having the right message. The second is getting that right message to the right people. The third is getting the right message to the right people with the right rhythm. We help clients focus their message, stay consistent with their message, stay on message. We help them with the right people by helping with database cleansing, database acquisition, all kinds of demographics and predictive analytics. But most importantly, we have developed a system for staying consistent and rhythmic with your donor touches. We've observed through all our data that is where many nonprofits fail. It's the rhythm and consistency. The right message to the right people with the right rhythm. That's the 30/30/30. Hugh: What do you say to people who say, “I've tried mailing. It didn't work. We tried sending out a mailing at the end of the year, and we got a little bit of money, but it doesn't work, Bill.” Bill: I tell them that I tried dieting once last year, and it didn't work either. Hugh: I tried working out once, and it didn't work either. Bill: I tried to exercise once, and it didn't work. It really is like diet or exercise or physical therapy. These are things that work if you implement them rhythmically. It's not a quick fix. Rhythm doesn't become rhythm right away. It needs a few cycles. In fact, on average, for most of our clients, it's really in the third year of repeated rhythmic touches that the donations start to snowball, that it really begins to build. This is not a showhorse thing. This is drip marketing, if you will. But it works. Hugh: It works. I've seen it work. Dig a little deeper into the right person and the right message. I want to know more about how I can do this. Bill: The right message, the first pillar, is your brand. It's who you are. It's why you go to work every day. It's your mission. It's your elevator speech. What we found that nonprofits who stay on message, who stay true to themselves about who they are, are the ones more successful over time as opposed to those who try to be all things to all people or try to repackage it or try to rebrand every year. I'm not saying you can't rebrand, but you need to do so carefully. The right message is mainly a matter of consistency and articulating it clearly. Having the right taglines, having the right logo, having the right paragraphs. The right people gets more complicated. It is all about relationships. We find that the nonprofits who succeed are those who create a database culture, where they take those relationships and get them into the database that everyone in the organization is empowered to update. Your best donors are the people you know. People donate to people. People donate to you because they trust you to fulfill your mission. It's the people you know, the people you run into, the people who come to your open house. These are the best potential donors. The organizations who know how to capture that and bring them into their database so they get rhythmic touches and notifications are the ones who succeed. You can also acquire data. We do a lot of this. Using some fancy predictive analytics, we can acquire names of people who are more likely to donate to your cause than others. That is almost a whole topic in itself. Hugh: Talk a little bit about that. We constantly run across people who say, “I don't know anybody.” If we do have people who are in nonprofits that maybe they get donations, but they don't have a donor management program per se, or they work with a number of early stage. Talk a bit about how you acquire names legally. Is there a magic database program that I can use to connect them with? Bill: It's all legal. There are about six or seven big players in this game called compilers. These are companies who do nothing but purchase, massage, and resell databases. You've heard of some of them. Dunne & Bradstreet does this mostly with businesses. Experian. Equifax, the one that had the big data breach. InfoUSA. There are others. There are literally thousands of brokers and people who take the information from these larger players and resell it to folks like us and you. Demographics are available. We as a society click a lot. We are on our computers and are clicking. We go to Amazon. We read the paragraph. We look at another book. We order this. We fill out a warranty card. We subscribe to a magazine. We join a club. All of those are data transactions that are public and can be sold and resold. The hard demographics have always been there, things like the value of your home, the car you drive. That's public information. But these compilers gather so many data points on all of us as consumers that they are able with artificial intelligence help to see patterns and build logorhythms. They know if you've done this and this and this, then you are more likely to support a nonprofit that focuses on children and especially disabled children. That is how detailed it can get. Or you are more likely to support a local nonprofit that works in the music arts, like an orchestra or a symphony. We call this predictive analytics. This is data that indicates the likelihood of someone supporting your cause. This has gotten way better than it even was six months ago. What we usually do—and Hugh, you have had some recent experience with this with one of your organizations—when we do a database acquisition like this, we then compare it to the organization's existing donor database. If the predictive analytics have been accurate, there will be considerable overlap. Your organization had 3,000 names. We bought another 700-800. Three years ago, you'd expect 10-12 of those to be an overlap. We had a 250-name overlap in that case. Those analytics were extremely accurate. These are folks not just demographically speaking but in terms of propensity are more likely to support your cause. You still have to touch them and touch them rhythmically. That is where the rhythm thing comes in. That is where you need to establish a system of cadent touches over the course of several cycles. At the end of the second or the beginning of the third year, that is where you will start to see donations come in, and it will start to snowball over time. Hugh: When you are talking about clicking, we're talking about mail in the U.S. We are not talking about email with our computer. Bill: I don't think I caught the last part of your question. In terms of what we advise for donor relations, it's a combination of mailing and emailing. Russell: It's so systematic to your approach to keeping and maintaining donors. Especially small nonprofits will be overwhelmed when they start thinking about all this data, and maybe a little confused as to what a touchpoint is. Lots of folks like me get lots of mail and email from a lot of the same folks. Maybe they think, “Oh, I don't want to be this person who is bombarding something with emails a day.” When you talk in terms of touches, there are certain things you are accomplishing with each touch. Let's take a generic year or quarter and talk about what touchpoints there are and the methods behind them. Bill: Let me give you a common example of a mid-sized local nonprofit. Let's say they have 10-12 staff. On average, our clients would have several touches. They would probably have one event every year. In the spring, they will do a luncheon where they talk about their cause and ask people for money while they are there. They might have a monthly blog. The first Monday of every month, they put something out on social media. They might have a fall appeal mailing. Here is where they write a letter. “Dear Dr. Smith, Here is what we do. Please give us money.” If they are smart, they will have that appeal mailing coupled with an auto trigger email, where the day after Dr. Smith gets the letter, he gets an automatic email that says, “Hey Dr. Smith, did you get our letter yesterday? I bet you trashed it, didn't ya? You can still click here to support our cause.” Once in the winter and once in the summer, they will do an e-newsletter. They are sending out information two or three times a year. Information only. They are asking for money in a hard ask twice a year. In the example I gave, once with a mailer/email and once with an event. Something like that. We have some clients who do mailers and ask for money every month. We have others who do it once a year with a hard mailing. What we don't have is much success with straight email solicitation. People do like the convenience of donating online, but they don't trust it unless it has something based in the physical world, whether that's a letter they got and threw away, then they get the mail. They will trust it a lot more because they have the mail piece. They go to an open house, and they then trust the email because they associate it with the real-life physical experience they had. That would be typical. A hard ask twice a year, information only two or three times, and maybe something monthly on social media. What we find does not work is the single big blast. So many people want to put all their eggs into one basket. We will have this big shindig and send out 200,000 invitations. It doesn't do that well. It is better to touch 200 people rhythmically than 200,000 in a blast. Is that helpful? Russell: The key is to spread these over with ask, non-ask. Give them information about the programs they were talking about in the newsletter. How the dollars are impacting, how many people were served, what the shift is. Bill: Impact is huge. Russell: If we're talking about contacting 200 people at a time, this probably means for a medium-sized nonprofit they are sending stuff out weekly to different donors. Bill: Most of our clients, an average database for our clients is in the range of 2,000-10,000 donors. We often do mailings of 3,000. Sometimes we do 100,000. On average, let's say 5,000. Most of our clients would do one or two mailings a year. A fall appeal and a spring appeal. In lieu of the spring appeal, sometimes they would do a spring event. The other touches, the social media and the e-newsletter when they are not asking are information only. That would be a balanced mix. Let me get to another key point. This is the magic right here. Rhythm is important. Understanding the rhythm that your clients respond to. Most of you know this. Most nonprofit organizations have a pretty good understanding of how often their donors and potential donors want to be asked. Once a year, twice a year, once a month sometimes. The organization usually knows what the rhythm should be. Rhythm is so important that you sustain it over the years that our biggest piece of advice is adjust the scale to match your budget so that you can sustain the rhythm. We actually help clients with spreadsheets so it says we want to mail to 20,000 people twice a year. The postage alone exceeds your budget. You can't do that. “Let's try it one time.” Don't do it. Adjust that scale. If you can't afford the postage of 20,000 appeal letters, can you do 10,000? No. 5,000? You play with that spreadsheet and settle on we can sustain 2,500 twice a year. That's the amount you go with. You have this pool of 10,000. How do you target down to the 2,500? That's how you do predictive analytics. Mail to the 2,500 who are most likely to donate to your cause. It's a budget thing. You adjust your scale to match your budget so you can sustain that rhythm because if you sustain the rhythm through several cycles, it works. This is based on data of what actually works, not what makes you feel or look good, but did the donations come rolling in. Russell: What is the best path to help a new organization or client when they come to you? They may have some stuff they kept on Excel, but they don't necessarily have a donor database or CRM. They looked at these things and thought they were hard to use. They know they need to get better information. Talk about that process where you help them look at the most important factors and how to organize that data and how you guide them to build that so they get effective data from what they are collecting. Bill: There are lots of databases out there as you know. We deal with lots of them. People are constantly asking us which one is the best. All I can honestly say is the best one is the one that someone in your organization is willing to dive into. The right operator, any of these databases can sing. They really can. Some of our biggest clients use Salesforce for their nonprofit data. There is a whole spectrum. It's not so much which CRM system you use. It's do you have someone and a back-up or two who know how to use it? If you have no money and can't do anything, use Excel. It's not so much what you use as how you use it. We can assist. We understand a lot of the databases. We love working with Excel in terms of immediate back-and-forth with our clients. They will export their database to a CSV or Excel file, and we will update the addresses and run through a deceased person's filter. Make sure that list is scrubbed and clean. But we do all that from Excel. Russell: It's a robust program. Microsoft itself. What trips people up more than anything else is understanding what are the most important pieces for me to collect, and then once I collect all of these, what is the best way to categorize or shift my people around or look at now I have it, how do I use it? Bill: This leads into something new we have been doing within the last couple of years. Let's say you inherit a nonprofit. You come in as the new executive director. There has been some staff turnover, and you have three or four huge Excel files with all your donors. You don't really know your donors. You have some record of who gave when, but you don't know why the other people are in there. Are they good prospects? We can actually take that database, those Excel files, do all the usual stuff, combine, de-dupe, update the addresses, make sure they aren't deceased. Then we do something called data append. We send that file—let's say you have 3,000 names but you only know who 50 are—confidentially to some of these national compilers. They can run it versus their data banks and come back with demographic data filled in where you get age, education level, the value of the home, household income, gender, political persuasion, all sorts of things you can add back to that list. That can be a target. You can say, “Listen, these 300 people don't match the profile of our donors. I don't see why we're mailing to them. They haven't given to us in five years. Let's drop them. But these 400 look really good. They match the profile. They are active in the community. Let's keep them on our list.” We call it scoring data or modeling data. There are all kinds of things like that. Russell: There are so many nuances to relating to donors. They come from different backgrounds, education levels, parts of the country. They are in different age groups. When people look at this and say, “I have a lot of different people,” what is the best way for me to organize these groups? What are their touchpoints that are more effective for some groups than others? How do we go about looking at that? Bill: One thing I haven't talked about yet is what channel you use. Is this a demographic that will respond to a Facebook post or a physical newsletter or an e-newsletter? You can ask them. That's a good question. “Would you prefer to receive this?” Make some age and generation assumptions. Millennials actually like direct mail more than you think. Some older folks don't like it as much as you think. The one thing we do advise people to do is do what we call a scattergraph. That's where you sit around the table brainstorming and make a graph of your best donors in terms of age, income level, value of home, education level, geography. As you start graphing this, you will have people all over that graph. You will have young kids who donate to your cause. You have great-grandfathers. You have uneducated and educated. But there will be, the more you plot those dots on your graph, a cluster in the middle. That is your sweet spot. If you want to go after and acquire more donors, acquire more who match those demographics. Add those predictive analytics. It's good to have a profile of who is our sweet spot donor, and how many. Russell: Very helpful. When you start working with an organization, what type of organization are you most effective at helping? What are some of the things that the organization can do that will help you get them results a little faster? Bill: That's a great question, Russell. We find that most nonprofits are pretty good at the first 30%, the message. Nonprofits know most well why they do what they do. It's their passion. It's why they go to work. They usually have that part nailed down. They have that elevator speech. You can't shut them up. They got the message. We find that we can help a lot with the rhythm. We can build these Excel sheets. We can send reminder notifications. “Make sure your blog is written. It's due tomorrow.” “Your e-newsletter should launch next week.” We send reminders that keep them on track, like how a FitBit reminds you to hop up and walk around. These notifications keep you on track. The one that is hardest is the data. It's relationships. We don't know the people in their database, but they do. They know more of them than not. Say the thing in the organization could do is the best results is to go through their database with as many constituents involved as possible: your volunteers, your staff, your key donors. Break it up into small bits, and do a little bit at a time. Try to understand who your donors are. That would probably be the best. Leverage your board. Every board member should have a gun to their head that says, “Who do you know who might donate to your cause? Give us their names.” Leverage conversations. Your whole staff should be encouraged. You have a new administrative assistant who is helping you with this. She bumps into someone at the grocery store who says, “Hey Sally, I haven't seen you in a long time. What are you doing?” “I'm working at Habitat for Humanity now. We are doing this and this.” That person says, “Wow, that sounds interesting. Tell me more.” Sally needs to know to come back and get that information in the database. That person she just bumped into in the grocery store is a better prospect than any of these purchased names we are talking about. Everyone in the organization from the board to the staff to the volunteers should realize it is their personal relationships that lead to the best database. Russell: It's a warm referral that is good. One of the things that I've seen information on and talked to people about in having people on your team, you want to have good tools for them to use to go out and talk about your organization. If you can take a few minutes, talk about some of the tools, printed tools, the toolkits that you make the board members and volunteers and people with information on the organization, how they organize that, and the tools they have to talk about the organization in the best way. Bill: Funny you should ask. We just worked up some handout cards as old-fashioned as that sounds, a little bigger than a business card. The organization calls them the “Get Involved” cards. On one size is the logo and a truncated, poignant abbreviation of the mission. The back features three ways to get involved. You can go to this website and do this. You can become a volunteer and do this. You can call this number and do this. They give these cards to everyone on staff, their volunteers, and encourage them when you are in the grocery store and your old roommate comes up to talk to you, you give them one of the cards. Something as simple as that. Russell: It's important to have those pieces. Is there a way you have people who have these tools, a simple system for them to keep track of how many people are coming? How do you help them document the effectiveness of these tools? Bill: We haven't done a lot of that. The organizations themselves usually keep a database of how many cards did you hand out, and did you talk about it? Ideally you are getting some address/city/state/zip/phone number/email into your database from that encounter. That's the ideal. When you bump into the old roommate in the grocery store, you ask for a business card or a text so I can keep in touch with you. “I'd like to send some information about XYZ charity.” The ones I know do this on a regular basis have weekly staff meetings and go over contacts. It's the most important thing. You're an ambassador for your charity. It's those contacts. People give to people. I know you think they give to your organization because you do all this good. They give because they know and trust you to carry out that mission. It's all about trust. Hugh: Underlying that is relationship building. I can't tell you how many nonprofits out there get a check and wait until next year to ask for another check. I don't know what the average is, but 70% of most nonprofits get the bulk of their money from donors. There is a large percentage. Bill: Yeah, we really do need to take care of our donors better. We recommend the pyramid where you take your database and have your top donors at the top. At some point, you draw that line where everyone above this level of giving gets the personal visit from the executive director or the personal phone call or the three phone calls a year, whatever that appropriate nurturing touch is. The ones at the bottom get a thank-you card. The top people, your key donors, need to be acknowledged, need to be thanked. They need the recognition. You can't do that with all 3,000 names, but you can do it with the top 50. We recommend that pyramid approach. Hugh: It's the old Pareto principle, the 80/20 rule. 80% of your money comes from 20% of your people. The leader is challenged to be able to spend enough time with too many people. My rule of thumb is what you said. You want to spend individual time with your 20%, but you want to stay in touch with the other 80%. Your program is a good way to do that. Bill: We slice and dice it even further. I'll give you an example. They won't mind me talking about them. It's a local arts nonprofit that does theater and plays. They have a huge donor database. The ones at the very top get the personal visit, the handwritten note, the crème de la crème. The next hunk of several thousand records gets variable data printed communication. Variable data has a salutation, “Dear Sam and Jackie.” This communication flips out pictures of the last show they went to. It's highly personalized because they have scrubbed the data that far down that they trust it and know it's accurate. Variable data personalization works as long as it's accurate. The bottom part of the pyramid gets the “Dear friend of XYZ Theater.” The bottom part of it is not personalized because they simply don't have the resources to scrub their data all the way down and make their salutations are correct and other variable data is accurate. Russell: This is important as far as it's managing your budget. You're getting the most bang for the buck and where a lot of people don't think they have money to spend, they may find that after going through and working with someone like you, they may be able to find where they can actually spend the same dollars and get more bang for the buck. When you're working with an organization, sometimes they have board members or volunteers or different people participating in the process. How important is training for all of these key people? What are some of the most important things for you to cover when you're training them? Bill: Let me do a tangent because something you said reminded me of something. This is back in the early 2000s, 2006/2007, right in there. We had not developed our full-blown three-bit marketing system. We were beginning to gather the data and understand that the rhythmic touching is what's important. I ended up being the chair of a small nonprofit. It was a private school trying to get off the ground in the middle of nowhere, southwest Virginia. We didn't have the money to hire my company. We were struggling. We had about 300 names of donors and potential donors. We had 10 board members. 300 names, 10 board members. What a coincidence. Here's what we did. We wrote the letter. We took it to the board meeting and said, “Okay, Sam, you're on the board. You're responsible for these 30 potential people. You make copies of the letter, sneak them into church, and pay the postage. That's why you're on the board.” We assigned each board member 30 records from that database. As an organization, we didn't spend any money. We leveraged our board. They each had to make a few copies and come up with 30 first-class stamps. We did that rhythmically. We did that appeal mail three times a year. By the third year, what do you know? We could afford to have someone else do all this. That was definitely training board members to get in the trenches. Hugh talks about this all the time. The importance of an energized and dedicated board is, I can't say enough about it. That is so critical to have in a thriving nonprofit. Russell: That it is. It's all about the people who you have, who support you, who are in your organization. Your team is your secret sauce. That's where you grow and prosper and create more impact in the lives of others. Knowing how to reach out to them and what really resonates with them is very important. Having that system and having the tools to get them there. The one thing we haven't really touched on is with donors, you have three phases. You're acquiring them. Then at some point, as they're sticking with you, you want them to grow, and you want them to stay. There are three pieces to that. If you would, talk a bit about some of the best ways to move them through that process. How do you acquire them? What are some key tips for that? What are some things that will help you grow them? What are some of the most important things to keep them sticking with you? Bill: The acquisition part we talked about a bit. The best way is those personal relationships, those personal contacts. The second best way would be doing some data acquisition. You can do it yourself; you don't have to go through a company like mine. Google “how to acquire donors,” and plenty of places will crop up that will sell you names. That is the acquisition part. The rhythm means a lot here. The rhythmic touch is how you keep them and how you make them poised to grow. Usually, it's in the second or third year that you get the first donation from a brand new contact. To do that, you need to do those rhythmic touches. This is not an overnight success thing. This is in it for the long haul. It's rare, not unheard of, but rare for someone to move from a $50-per-cycle level to a $5,000-level without something happening. That something could be they come to an event, they hear a speaker, they get a visit from a board member, they get a visit from an executive director. To get that kind of nurturing increase takes something. It's rare that someone would jump from $40 to $500 or $5,000 through repeated passive asks. I think one of the best, it doesn't fit every nonprofit, is to have that annual luncheon where the board members are assigned to fill tables. When they invite people, they let them know, “We will do a presentation. We will ask to give you some money. You don't have to, but there will be an ask. We'd really love to have you.” You get people in the room and have dynamic speakers. You have some of the people you serve. It depends on what kind of nonprofit you have. You do things that give people a real glimpse into how you make the world a better place. that has been known to move people from the $50 level to the $500 level or $5,000 level. Russell: Well-executed non-ask events are critical, too. Just to let people know, “Hey, we're good stewards of your money.” There's some magic about walking them around where they can see where it is people are actually out there in the trenches doing good work. Speaking to some of the things you can acquire and move these services out of the community so they get a working understanding. That growth piece, getting them and growing them, is your lifetime value of a customer for lack of a better way to put it. That takes time. To grow them, you have to keep them. What are the two most important tools? Bill: There are some simple things you can do. You need to thank them for their gifts. The pyramid, the top ones should get a personal visit or phone call. At the bottom, maybe it's a handwritten thank-you note. More and more of our clients are doing the board pizza party, where they get their board together and some phones. Around dinnertime, they serve the board pizza, and they call the top donors. They do it around dinnertime so a lot of people don't answer the phone. But that's fine. You leave a message. The board member says, “Hey, Dr. Smith. I want to thank you and your wife for your $500 gift to our organization. We really appreciate it. It helps us do this, this, and this.” That donor will remember that. That donor will say, “Hey, a board member called me.” That's a nice little thing to do, and to touch the top donors that way. The ones at the really top, the big players, probably need the thank you from the chair of the board and the executive director. You can hit a lot of those mid donors with a call from a board member. Think about the donations you make. How often do you get a phone call of thanks? Not many. Maybe I'm not donating enough. Russell: It's always good. It's just common courtesy. If you're in a supermarket, someone holds the door. Saying thank you to people is a reflex. But somehow, it seems like from some of the statistics I've seen, it's one of the more common mistakes that people make. They don't take that time to say thank you. What are a couple other really common mistakes that people make that are just quick and easy to fix? Bill: Accurate data is really big. If you say “Dear Sam,” and the name isn't Sam, that's not good. You've got to be very careful with variable data and personalization. Personalization gone awry does more damage than it does good. One thing we've been doing more and more, the post office has gotten better with the deceased persons filter. You try to cut out saying, “Dear John and Sally” when John passed away a year ago. That's an easy mistake to fix. Run the data through the filter. Don't mail to dead people if at all possible. Data cleanliness is a common thing. Not thanking is the biggest thing. You mentioned something earlier. Every touch can't be an ask. It really should be more information only touches than there are ask touches. The top donors should get a report at the end of the year, maybe a few months after. Not a fancy annual report, but a sheet of, “Here's what your donation allowed us to do.” You can do these infographic looks. You can really show people what you've done. We have a client now that has this neat system. They do three newsletters a year. They have an elderly donor base. These are physical newsletters. Because newsletters are more expensive, they've gone to a news postcard. They send out these jumbo postcards three times a year. Short bullet point articles that show their impact. Every one of those short articles, it's just bullet points and headlines. People don't read anymore. There is a link to a website you can go to if you want more information. They do this three times a year. In the fourth quarter, they ask. They push out information on a 3:1 ratio with their ask. We recommend something like that. 2:1, 3:1, something like that, so people don't think, “Good grief. XYZ charity is always asking for money.” It has to be, “Here's the good things we're doing.” Your social media should be that. Your social media personally I don't think should ask for money. I think social media should be, “Look what we're doing. Celebrate with us.” Russell: It would certainly be a place to capture your benefactors, the clients online and talk about what's going on. Some of the sites that the work is being done on, it's almost like the news medium. When someone hears their name mentioned on social media, you get a thousand followers. Whoa, they're talking about me. This thing has 1,000 views and 10,000 followers. “Hey, maybe I need to send them another check. They need to get my good side next time.” Hugh: That's part of the story. Telling a story, you have relationships. There are people who want to be in the picture with a big check. I don't think we think about the amount of stories we need to be telling because we are doing a lot of good work. We don't really tell people. In fact, social media is social. We are supposed to engage. I see all too often, “Buy this. Do that.” And there is no attempt at a relationship. That is what I'm hearing you saying. In our program, we are building relationships. We are maintaining relationships. People give to people. That is the biggest sound bite. People give to people, not to organizations. Bill: I agree. It's all about relationships. It's all about telling your story. That's what relationships are. We as humans are people who have relationships with each other, and we tell stories to each other. It's the way you come home to your spouse and say, “Hey honey.” We love to tell stories. I think social media is great for this. You have these snippets and tell this vignette story of something your nonprofit did or something that you did. It's to build relationships. The best donor is the one that knows you. I keep coming back to this. You have a personal relationship with them. But you do it by stories. We recommend the hard ask appeal letter everyone does in the fall that it start off with just a three- to four-sentence story that is in a nutshell what you do. Then you make your ask. You take it to the next level. “There are so many kids like Johnny.” In the first paragraph, you tell Johnny's story. Stories mean a lot. Russell: You have really critical points in the year. A lot happens toward the end of the year around Giving Tuesday in the back end of the year. Are there some time periods during the course of the year that you believe nonprofits are leaving money on the table? Maybe there are times to reach out that might be more effective than people pay attention to. Bill: That's another great question. It's changing. It used to be I would always tell people to do their main appeal early to mid-November because we were told the stats said the most generous week of the year is the week leading up to Thanksgiving. Everybody is starting to feel festive, but they don't have worries about the credit card bills yet. We've also heard that summer is not a great time to ask because so many people are on vacation and will miss the appeal. I tell you though, people are so connected now. With tax law changes, the end of the year may not be as significant of a time as it has been. We are finding more and more of our clients are doing oddly timed appeals. It's just starting, so they haven't built a rhythm yet. We have clients who are doing a February appeal and a July appeal. Stay tuned. I'll have a better answer in three years when we get some data back on that. I really think that if you talk with your key constituents, talk to your board and staff and key donors, you'll know. You'll know when the appropriate time is to do your ask and your information only. Remember the point about you adjust the scale to fit the budget so you can sustain the rhythm. One thing I meant to mention is it's not just the financial budget. It's the budget of your time. Here is another common mistake. We see it probably most often with social media. You get all excited. You say, “I'm going to write a blog every week.” I'm going to post it out on Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn. I don't know many executive directors who have the time to write a blog every week. If you do, more power to you. Our suggestion will be, Are you really? Let's be realistic about this. Adjust the scale to match the time budget. How much time do you have? Sustain the rhythm. We would counsel you down from once a week to the first Monday every month. If that's too much, if you can't stick with that, then once every month. Hugh: It's the regular rhythm that we heard about earlier, too. Speaking of time, we are almost at the top of the hour. Bill, you get the last word. If you have a thought or tip or challenge to give the audience. This has been a helpful interview. *Sponsor message from SynerVision Leadership Foundation* If you want to talk about how Bill's services look for you, go to Wordsprint.com. The regular mailing to your tribe makes a difference. Bill, Wordsprint.com is one of our main sponsors, so thank you for that. We talk about you often. You're leaving this interview. What is your challenge or parting thought for people? Bill: My parting thought would be it really is all about relationships. The piece of the puzzle that you or a director or a board member or your staff could do to help your organization the most is to work on those relationships and get that relationship into a database so they can get rhythmic touches. If anyone would like to chat with me about this, we do free consultations, no cost, no obligation, at Wordsprint.com. You can send me a message. I can talk in detail about your organization and things that would work for you. Our system of getting the right message to the right people does not mean you have to use us. You can use current partners. You can do it in-house yourself. It's the system that works. The right message to the right people with the right rhythm. Russell: Bill, thanks again for joining us. Thanks for all the support you give us here at SynerVision Leadership. You certainly make us look good. Folks, do yourself a favor, and have a talk with Bill and his team as to how you can grow donors, keep them, and build those relationships using the right tools by getting out there, sending the right message to the right people in the right rhythm. It needs to look good, but that is only 10%. And it will. Make sure you check out our magazine because it's a good-looking magazine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode, the Kvetching Professor first talks about two of the most famous advice columns ever — “Dear Abby” and “Ask Ann Landers.” And then it's about his own altogether fictitious contribution — “Dr. Mark.” Unless you wanted a good laugh, you probably wouldn't want to write in to ask Dr. Mark for his advice.
"'May 23 - Dear Dr. Freedman - ... I am well aware that vanity is not supposed to take precedence over my mental health... but I am a girl who, although seemingly low maintenance, requires a healthy reflection to maintain any self-esteem.' Chapter TWELVE Day 3 (The Letters/Dead Sea Scrolls) - By Listener Request, I humbly Introduce To YOU 'Dear Prudence' by ME, Amanda G. - A LIVE READING, chapter by chapter... from the horse's mouth! Please Tune In and ENJOY! 'Dear Prudence' Radio - Life Advice to Help YOU Cope!"Please join Amanda Grieme, Author of “Dear Prudence,” Motherhood Made ME Get Over MYSELF: A Metamorphosis, and former English/Creative Writing Educator. Amanda LIVES with Bipolar Disorder choosing writing as her catharsis and creative medium to help others. Her life experience with mental illness, self-medication will lend listeners invaluable, often quirky life advice. Tune in to share in life's struggles, folly, laughter, tears, idiosyncratic oddities… cradled by eclectic music selections.“Dear Prudence” Radio – Life Advice to Help YOU Cope will provide you with entertaining and informative fodder about life stuff, backed by research, justified by public opinion… and humbled by ill-experience. Check Out the NEW:http://youtu.be/PBQ3TADwSyQhttps://www.createspace.com/4714654http://www.eloquentbooks.com/dearprudence.html http://www.newjerseynewsroom.comhttp://amandagrieme.hubpages.com/hub/GREAT-READS-BY-NEW-AUTHORS-CHECK-THEM-OUT-HERE
This list is never-ending because the issues teenagers experience everyday are never-ending. These are real-life problems that real teenagers live through on a daily basis. Parents may seem to be at “wits' end” trying to figure out all the tools they need to treat these ever-present dangers. Listen up, parents! Help is here in the form of Dr. Wes Crenshaw, Ph.D. Join Rev. Kevin Kitrell Ross for this truly eye-opening discussion with Dr. Wes. This is an episode you won't want to miss!
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