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Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 12 Heaven s clock is ticking In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             There is no firestorm without a spark, no ocean without a raindrop         I opened the door and there stood Christina, looking pretty depressed. "Do you want to come in?" I asked. "I know you have company," she replied. "Can we talk outside?" It wasn't too chilly but I wasn't wearing too much either. "Of course," I walked onto the porch, leaving the door mostly closed behind me. "What's wrong?" "I've worked things out with Faith and the other girls," Christina paced nervously. "We are all going to keep quiet about what you learned and see how we can turn this to our advantage." I didn't say anything because she hadn't come to tell me the news of what had been the obvious move on her part so I was left wondering what was going on, then I saw it. I opened my arms to the side, palms forward, and waited. She saw the move and looked me over with obvious reluctance for what would come next. Finally, she stepped up to me and rested her forehead on my shoulder and let me encase her in my arms. It sucks to be alone, but it truly sucks being alone and being the one in charge even more. "God, Zane, I fucked up. I could have ruined Heaven's life," she sighed. "The others trusted me and I let them down." "You are not doing Heaven any favors by being paralyzed with doubt," I told her. "You had no idea who you were up against and even if you had, you would still have weighed what was best for Heaven against the risks and pretty much acted in the same manner." "You don't understand Heaven," Christina said. "You don't understand her home life." "Her home life is not my concern, Christina," I pointed out. "The Heaven here and now is my concern, though, and it is the concern of several more friends she's made since coming to this school, friends she wouldn't have if she stayed in a hole." "What if I fuck up again?" she worried. "So many girls are depending on me to keep the Chancellor at bay." "I fuck up all the time and I'm still here," I countered. "I know what you mean, though. Sometimes when these girls look at me like they expect me to have all the answers and I've got nothing, I want to run and hide." "We don't have that luxury. We chose to stand up and now we must carry on in our struggle. I don't know about you, but I wasn't raised to quit," I related to her. "I made a mistake, Zane. I don't make mistakes," she declared. "I'm confused; have we lost?" I questioned her. "No," she grumbled, "and that is not what I meant. I brought Faith in, I misread her, and we all suffered because of it. I was deceived." "Well, someone should remind Christina Buchanan from time to time that she's human, and a pretty smart woman at that," I replied. "You don't have to win every battle, only the last one." "That is what my grandfather said," she mumbled into my shoulder. "He sounds like a clever guy," I said softly. "He should go far someday." Since he was one of the richest men in America, I was probably right. "You can be a real jerk at times," she muttered, but I noted she wasn't moving. "I have to agree with you," I said, as I got up on my tiptoes and kissed her on the top of the head. I leaned back and tilted her head to me with a finger under her chin. "Christina Buchanan, would you marry me?" No one said anything for a minute. "Can I think about it?" she finally whispered. "Of course," I assured her. "How could I be in love with you if I couldn't wait for you?" "How can you love me when you don't even know me?" she asked. "That's why it is love and not like," I answered. "There are times you really piss me off but there is never a moment I don't want to be with you." "You don't like me?" Christina studied me. "Right now I like you just fine, but you can be a real pain at times. See, I know what's right and you refuse to know your place," I responded. "And what place is that?" she smiled. "Above me, smiling down," I leaned in for a kiss. "No," she shook her head. "No?" I pleaded. "We have a long way to go before I let you treat me like another one of your girls," Christina informed me. "Okay," I agreed. "No hard sell in my emotionally vulnerable state?" she mused. "You are safe with me, Christina," I assured her. "That's good to know, Zane. Now go inside before Rio blows a gasket," she smiled, slipped out of my arms, and walked toward her car. I still soaked up the marvel of her receding silhouette. Rio was leaning against the wall just inside the hallway when I got back in. "I don't get the two of you," she grinned. "I love her," was my only response. "That's good, because she's fucking nuts about you," Rio laughed. I couldn't decide whether she was kidding or not. Later, we lay together in bed, Rio partially over me where she alternated between listening to my heartbeat and kissing my shoulder. She also had a hand between her legs and was doing some serious vaginal stimulation. "Zane." "Yes?" I replied. "I had an abortion," she confided in me. "Oh, okay," was all I could manage to come back with. "'Oh.' Is that it?" she sounded a bit hurt. "I figure there is more to the story than you had an abortion. So are you going to tell me what it is?" I inquired. She mulled that over for a few seconds. "I did some really stupid shit, like getting shit-faced drunk at some parties with people I barely knew, and pretty much got used like a whore. I didn't really care, and eventually I got knocked up," she told me. "My parents, the big Pro-Lifers that they were, smuggled me out of state to a private clinic and aborted the kid. They never asked my opinion on the matter but I imagine that having a pregnant daughter who couldn't even name the father wasn't on their agenda," she recited bitterly. I wrapped an arm around her, rolled over on her, and kissed her gently on the lips. "I don't know what to say," I began. "I can't imagine what it was like to go through that." "Huh," Rio snorted. "My parents slapped me with anti-depressants and an implant, my 'friends' told me it was for the best, not being teen Mom material and all, and I treated myself like a whore." "Hell, I sucked and fucked the entire lawn crew once; I fucked my little brother's friends; and I became known as the girl who would ride bareback at my school. It is a miracle I didn't contract herpes or AIDS," she recited sadly. "I think I hated just about everybody." "You know that none of that matters to me; right?" I asked. "You are still that woman I woke up next to on day one." "To the bitter end," she recited. "To the bitter end," I affirmed, my promise to stand by her no matter what. "Why couldn't you be in love with me?" she sighed. "You are asking an eighteen-year-old how this love thing works?" I teased her. "I've been lucky enough to meet five women in the past two weeks I'd like to spend forever with, and I love the one I'm least likely to end up with. I'm clueless." "Me, Iona, Barbie Lynn, Christina and Heaven?" Rio guessed. I nodded, which made her snicker. "You really want to spend forever with Heaven? You are a glutton for punishment." "Heaven can be really nice," I defended my girlfriend. "She's got a permanent case of PMS. Hell knows what would happen if she actually had PMS," Rio teased me back. "So you don't want to spend any more time with her?" I inquired. "Fuck that," Rio giggled, "I like them brave, bold, and saucy in the saddle. I'd love breaking her down, or having her break me trying." "Fine," I announced after a moment's contemplation. "Fine?" she asked. "I'm not going to break my word to Jill but I can't wait to fuck you until we get back to campus, so how would you like to screw on Pastor Bill's desk before Sunday school?" I suggested. "I'd love to leave a little something extra on that gold-plated conman's desk," Rio purred. "Now, Zane, do you think you could bend the rules ever so slightly and finger-fuck me? I'm ever so horny," Rio pleaded. I figured it couldn't hurt too much; right? I rubbed and rubbed one hand down to her crotch where Rio had already pulled her soaked panties down to mid-thigh. With my other hand, I pushed up her top, exposing her ripe nipples, chain and all. I plucked a nipple into my mouth, letting my tongue play along the stud before sucking in more of the breast, increasing the pressure on the nipple itself. Rio was well worked up already and now began to writhe beneath me. My free hand passed below her carefully groomed chevron-shaped pubic mound and along her clit. Her folds welcomed me like molten gold, so hot yet silky smooth to the touch. As she started to moan, Rio stuck the meat of her palm into her mouth and bit down in order to keep quiet. I spent a minute playing with her two studs in her labia before working two fingers deep inside her, twisting them, and seeking out her G-spot. "Gak!" Rio convulsed as I stroked it. Oh, yeah, I thought, as I began to seriously work it over. Rio's fluids were sloshing around my fingers, her other hand began pressing my whole mouth over her breast, and she kept bucking up against me. I now began to alternate between rhythmically tapping her special place and brutally finger fucking her, driving two fingers in and slapping her clit with my palm. "Uh, uh, uh, ugh, ugh, umm," Rio began panting, then her body arched and she screamed into her clenched fist. "Oh, fuck, that's good," she finally managed to get out. Before I could respond, she grabbed my head and drew me up for a fierce kiss. She tore at my lips and tried to steal my breath away. "Tell me you want me," she pleaded with a desperate hunger tinged with fear. "I want you, Rio, always," I responded with my own heat and need. Slowly the passion ebbed from Rio's eyes and a playful demeanor replaced it. "You are such a dumb blonde, Glenda," she sighed happily. Glenda had been the name that had allowed me admission to school in the first place, Glenn Zane Braxton, Glenda. I answered by pulling my fingers out of her cunt, taking a lick, then pushing them through her lips. Rio daintily sucked on them, pulling them in and cleaning them off before biting down like the little bitch she is and making tears come to my eyes. "What the fuck!" I hissed. "That's for not giving me your cock, Asshole," she snickered. When I looked ready to explode, she pouted her lips, rolled onto her stomach and stuck her bare ass up in the air for a spanking. I grunted and rolled over onto my side, away from her. "Good night, you witch," I sulked. There was some rustling behind me a minute later, then Rio snaked an arm around me and pressed her body to my back. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I act crazy at times." I rolled over to face her. "I know what I'm getting into, Rio," I comforted her. "That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt at times." I displayed my wounded fingers. She kissed my fingers, I kissed her lips, and we both finally went to sleep. Preacher William, Valerie, and the seeds of discord. Jill didn't know what to make of our prompt appearance Sunday morning for breakfast already dressed for church. I'd convinced Rio to not try a hard sell with my aunt, instead playing it calm, cool, and collected. The real reason we wanted to get to church early was because I'd come up with the idea of screwing Rio on Pastor Bill's massive mahogany desk before class and she'd become infatuated with the scheme. Gaining Definition We had to remember our Bibles before eagerly heading out the door. Mine went back to my missionary days while Rio's was brand new, a gift from Jill. She'd lost her old one on the trip from Arizona to Virginia, or so she'd told Jill. In reality, she had torn hers apart page by page and stuffed it down the airplane toilet during the flight, her way of spreading the gospel. Once at the church, we split up, Rio and I getting together a few minutes later. I was unsure about the security cameras in the hallway but Rio shrugged it off. She followed the wires to the closet the system was kept in, picked the lock, and deleted the last two hours of footage before deactivating the whole system. I was clever enough to wipe off all our fingerprints before we made for the pastor's office. This time, Rio's improvised, lock picks weren't necessary as the secretary kept the door unlocked. We slipped past her station to the larger office beyond and I chased Rio around to the 'big chair'. "So, Bad Boy, are you going to make me a Bad Girl?" Rio taunted me. I stepped up between her thighs and got ready to feast on her succulent cunt lips when she held me up. "I don't think we have time for that," Rio grinned. She slipped out of her panties, which I quickly pocketed (having learned from the first Barbie Lynn incident), and hopped up on the desk facing me. I unbuckled my belt, fixed the button, and unzipped my pants. My cock came smoothly out of my boxers and I lined up with Rio's slit. Her juices were already flowing by the time my cockhead graced her full lips. "Oh, that's what I've been looking for," Rio moaned, as I pushed forward inch after glorious inch inside her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and came close to doing the same with her legs around my waist by the time I was fully into her. I got a few half-thrusts into Rio, our faces only inches apart, when I began to push her back down on the desk. "No, I want to look into your eyes," she told me. I nodded and started driving my cock in a strong steady rhythm. "Rio," I said softly. "Yes," she breathed heavily. "I like saying your name," I explained. "I like the sound of it and the way it makes me feel." "I, I was sure she was fighting for a snarky reply but then she smiled and said, "Okay." "Oh. God, Oh, Fuck," Rio gasped, as we began, getting her close to climax. I stopped when I first heard the voices. "What?" Rio panted. I pulled her off the desk and looked for a place to hide. There were three other doors out of the room. I took the closest, yanked up my pants, and dragged Rio to it. It turned out to be a large closet with vestments, coats, and a few changes of clothing inside. Before I could finish shutting the door, Rio put her hand in the way. Before I could inquire why, the main office door opened and in came Pastor Bill and Lance Wellington. They were yammering on about something or other; I really wasn't paying attention. All that changed after Pastor Bill took his seat behind the desk and swiveled it to the side. Lance came around the desk and knelt before our spiritual leader. His body blocked my visual but I heard a zipper being undone and some clothes being pushed aside. What Lance proceeded to do was clear enough, though. Rio was between me and the door; she looked over her shoulder and grinned evilly. Before long, she had my cock in her hand and was maneuvering it back to her cunt from behind. I moved my hips down, she arched up, and I slipped back into the hole I'd been in not a minute before. I stayed still while Rio began to ride my cock up and down. There we were, two very different couples separated by less than a dozen feet, both fucking in different ways. Lance was giving Pastor Bill oral attention in a manner that dictated long familiarity to not only cock-sucking, but blowing Pastor Bill in particular. Rio had one hand placed against the door sill in order to stop us from spilling out of the closet while the other was tucked against her stomach. The four of us were pushing toward climax but Pastor Bill was the first one to the trigger. I was still feeling the oily smoothness of my cock inside Rio's cunt while rubbing both breasts through her shirt and bra when Lance began chocking and sputtering. The bastard hadn't even warned Lance that he was cumming. Good ole Pastor Bill reached across the desk to grab two Kleenex. As he did so, his other hand came down to rest on a slick spot Rio and I had left on his desk. He looked at his hand with disgust and wiped it off his hand before handing a tissue to Lance. "Get going to class," Pastor Bill told his cock-sucking companion. "Of course, Pastor William," Lance responded as he cleaned his face. As he headed to the door, he turned to the preacher. "Do I have to do another marriage counseling session with Felicity? She is so damn annoying," he whined. "Lance, you are going to have to keep up appearances and that means spending the occasional night with her," Pastor Bill lectured him. "As distasteful as she is, she is the socially acceptable choice for your spouse if you plan to have a political career." "I wish this whole marriage thing was over with already," Lance sighed. "Then I could stick her in the house and get her out of my life." "Remember, a woman is a duty, but you know how to get your pleasure. Take your pill when you have to lay with her, and if nothing else, use her back door," he chuckled. "I suppose so," Lance conceded, "but I'll have to shut her up. She blathers on and on incessantly and her voice is so grating." "Well," Pastor Bill laughed, "you can always use her mouth too." Lance snorted and left the room; Bill followed a minute later. For our part, the whole exchange between Pastor Bill and Lance got Rio hotter and hotter. She was rocketing back against me until I was afraid the slapping of our flesh would alert our host to our presence. Once he was gone, Rio went off. "Fuck me, damn it," Rio exulted. "I'm going to rape their asses." I wasn't sure how that would work. It wasn't like Rio's or my word would go all that far. I decided to spin her back around and kick her leg up over my arm so I could fuck her while gazing into her eyes. The first thing I noticed was the sheer joy etched all over her face. The second thing I noted was her phone in hand, set on record. There was going to be some severe damage over this and I had to do damage control, but first I had to screw Rio to orgasm. "Ah, ah, ah," Rio moaned. "You are churning me up inside, you fucking brute. This is so fucking good." "And the video?" I inquired. "Fucking brilliant," she panted, "My best idea yet." I drilled Rio several more strong strokes and she gripped me tightly and sexually exploded on me. She kept squeezing my cock with her vaginal muscles as I came in her as she was still cresting her wave. "Oh, Zane," she wept tears of joy on my shoulder, "You make all this other shit bearable." "No problem, bro," I sighed happily, "but we need to talk about the video." "Yeah," she snorted, "you have a plan. I'm going to bypass me having a temper-tantrum and get straight to you making me happy with how clever you are." "We find more ways to bring Felicity over to our side, then hit her with this when she's wavering," I detailed. "We still need credibility and that's going to take Barbie Lynn on our side. Once we get Felicity, we can get Mrs. Wellington too. That gives us access to everyone in the church." I set Rio onto her feet and handed her panties too her. Rio shimmied into them and grinned. "Now I'm all sloshy inside. Is that thing a damn fire hydrant?" "You weren't complaining a minute ago," I countered. "I'm not complaining, but all those bitches in class are going to know I've been fucked," she snickered. "Who are you going to blame?" I wondered. "Pastor William, our glorious shepherd; I can describe just what his cock looks like now," she grinned manically. "I think we are back to that whole 'credibility' issue," I reminded her. "You aren't going to let me have any fun," Rio pouted. "Well, work on this; I'm pretty sure Lance isn't the only guy here that the pastor is using. Lance was a tool, nothing more," I told her. "It could be fun to find out who his other toys are." "I hate you for having a better idea than me," Rio giggled, "but I love your deviant mind more." "I love you too, Baby," I said as I brushed her cheek. "Let's get to class before they get to ridicule us for arriving late." Rio grabbed my hand and sprinted with me out of the office. We were late to class but only just. This time I'd studied so Mr. Coleman wasn't able to humiliate me, though some wise-ass taunted me about being on a women's committee. "Yes, I do," I confirmed, "and what committee are you on?" "Athletics committee," he sneered. I gave him a shit-eating grin right back that gave him pause. "So I hang out with a bunch of MILF's, which is a pretty red-blooded American male thing to do, while you hang out with a bunch of guys, which is pretty homo-erotic," I chuckled. There was a deafening silence in the room. We had broken up for church service and a few guys were almost out the door. The target of my aggression was first stunned, then angry. "Mr. Braxton, that is quite enough out of you," Mr. Coleman snapped. "I'm sorry about that, Mr. Coleman. I thought he was ribbing me about my committee so I teased him back about his; I wasn't serious," I lied. Andy, the guy who'd given me a hard time, elected that moment to get in my face. "That wasn't funny, Braxton," he snapped. Mr. Coleman remained conspicuously silent. "Gosh, Andy," I quipped, "I don't know where to begin. How about, we are in a House of God and shouldn't be raising a fist against one another." "If that doesn't work, do understand that you get the first punch, then I break you like a twig," I continued with eagerness written all over my face. "You are an elementary school teacher and I have years of martial arts experience." Andy suddenly paled. "Mr. Braxton," Coleman growled again. "How dare you threaten somebody?" "Um, Mr. Coleman, Andy got in my face, so what exactly are you getting on my case about? Wouldn't the situation be better served if you stopped him in the first place?" I said. "Andy should be able to take a joke better," another guy in my class, Christopher Gilbert, joined in. "Besides, Zane's right; the wives on the committee are attractive and their husbands are lucky men." That seemed to end the matter because Chris Gilbert was the son of somebody and carried weight in this crowd. We continued to depart but I felt obliged to stop Chris. "Thanks, but I'm not sure why you just backed me up there," I questioned. "Maybe you're not such a bad guy," he grinned. I had to think that over. I barely knew Christopher Gilbert. He was 23, son of a big real estate guy, he was a property manager, whatever that was. "I have to appreciate the timing of your epiphany," I joked. "It came to me late Thursday night when I had a security issue at one of my properties," he grinned. Oh, crap. His daddy must own the mall where I had that little altercation. "Sorry if I cost you a good night's sleep," was all I could say. "Let me say that, 'damn, you're fast,' and it would have been mean of me to let Andy get his ass handed to him in front of all his friends," Chris related. "He's really not a bad guy either." "I'll keep that in mind," I nodded. We were making our way to the church hall when Rio, Iona, and Barbie Lynn intercepted us. "Hey, Ms. Masters," Chris said to Barbie Lynn. He looked at the other two girls. "Christopher Gilbert, this is Rio Talon and Iona Becket, two of my classmates and closest friends," I introduced my buddies. "So, Chris, how do you know Barbie-licious?" Rio smirked. "Huh?" Chris said. "Rio has an intense sense of humor, Chris," I intervened. "Pay her no mind." Before Rio cold make things worse, I placed an arm behind her and pinched her ass. "Behave," I warned her. "Okay, Zane," Chris chuckled. "Good luck with that one. To answer your question: I know Ms. Masters from a few years back at a youth retreat. We were both counselors. Take care now." He turned and walked off to his section of the tabernacle while the girls and I went off to ours. "So, Barbie, were you hot for Chris back at camp?" Rio persisted. "Chris? Nah, he had a girlfriend back then; they both went to the University of Virginia. I think they broke up right before they graduated but I'm not sure," Barbie Lynn informed us. "Besides, I had a fianc too." "Had? Have you tossed him over for Zane?" Rio teased. I sighed and Barbie Lynn blushed. "Nah, Shugah, I tossed him over for you," Barbie Lynn whispered into Rio's ear. "Just for that tantalizing tease, no Honey Glaze for those hot crossed buns of yours," Rio bantered right back. "Am I the only one who remembers we are in a church?" lectured Iona. "No, you are not," Christina surprised us. "Now stop trying to make a scene and sit down with the rest of us." We dutifully obeyed because three of us respected Christina and I had one of Rio's arms twisted behind her back. At the end of service there was no problem getting the gang to go down to the space between the pews and the podium where the important people gathered. I caught Pastor William shooting me a hooded look but I blew him off. I was here for someone else, as was Barbie Lynn and Rio. Iona was tagging along to make sure we kept out of too much trouble. "Hey, Sahara," I greeted the pastor's wife, who hovered near but wasn't part of the action. "Why, hello, Zane," she smiled. "Did you enjoy the service?" "I'm still a little fuzzy on the message of seeking wisdom in God's word instead of Man's technology," I grinned. "After all, I have an app that gives me helpful Bible verses on demand." "I think you missed the point, Zane," she shook her head with mirth. "We need to trust the Word of God over the simple technological solutions that fail to take in the moral implications of the results." "Wow, when you say it that way, it makes sense," I applauded. Sahara blushed and gave me another smile. Rio and Barbie Lynn had closed in on Felicity, allowing Iona and I to come up behind Mrs. Wellington. I put my hand on the small of her back and positioned myself at her side. "Hello, Mrs. Wellington," I greeted her. I knew her first look at me would define a lot about how she felt about last night. "Zane," she beamed at me. "How are you doing today?" "Better now," I grinned. "I just wanted to say that I'm downloading those files we discussed when I get to campus this afternoon." "Oh," Mrs. Bainbridge sneered, "is Mr. Braxton working on a special project already?" "Zane," Rochelle Wellington smiled to her rival sweetly, "send Kendra a copy of the notes you showed me. Kendra, Zane has a talent for 3-D imagery that the committee will find quite useful. I thought you might find it nice to have our newest member showing some interest." "Oh, it is his interest that I'm worried about," Kendra commented, with a pretty obvious look toward Sahara. Before I could respond to that jab, I felt a hand on my shoulder trying to pull me around. "Pastor William wants a word with you," Lance informed me. "Okay," I shrugged, then turned back to Kendra. "Mrs. Bainbridge, I admit that it is my fault that I find Mrs. Penny to be kinder, more compassionate, and more spiritually understanding than you. She is a gentle soul who better relates to what a young man needs." "Pastor William wants to see you now," Lance insisted. "That's nice, Lance. I'm talking to your mother," I said dismissively. "Rochelle, thank you for agreeing to mentor me; I appreciate you helping me understand this Church and this community by taking some of your valuable time to listen to my ideas." "Ladies, have a nice Sunday. Okay, Lance, let's go see what Pastor Bill wants now," I told him. "His name is Pastor William," Lance corrected me somewhat angrily. "No, his name is William Penny and he happens to be a pastor," I jibed. Lance's response was stymied by our arrival at Pastor Bill's circle of cronies. "Ah, Glenn," Bill greeted me. "I would like to invite you to dine with my wife and I tomorrow night." I was smart enough to know that wasn't really an invitation, but still, "I'd like to but this week is our first round of testing for the semester so I'm not sure I can break free," I answered. "You find time enough for other things, like jail," he lectured me in a personally degrading matter. "Pastor William, as you will learn about me, people who cross me or threaten the ones I hold dear, I beat bloody and leave broken on the ground," I smiled evilly right back. The confusion that threat caused was evident because I hadn't been quiet. "Jesus loves the Peacemaker," Pastor Bill bantered back. "Winners write the history books," I countered. "That is not very Christian of you," Mr. Wellington, the Mayor, pointed out. "Jesus Christ ended up nailed to a cross; Emperor Constantine, who converted the whole Roman Empire to Christ's worship, got to build his own city," I responded. "I won't be as famous but I'll do more and get to bury my enemies before I die," I added. "Are you sure you were a missionary in Thailand?" another church elder asked. "Oh, I was a missionary all right, but not a very good one. I left the hard work to my Uncle Tim and Aunt Jill," I informed them. "Did they convert many heathen souls to the World of our Lord?" a third man inquired. "It is not that simple. They taught people to read English and got them in the practice of reading the Bible," I explained. "They have over a thousand years of culture to work against and many of the tenents of Buddhism are close to our own Christian virtues so it is hard work." "So that would be a 'No'," Pastor Bill gloated. "Really?" I grinned. "When Uncle Tim went missing, 200 of his flock risked floodwaters in an eventually futile effort to save him. How many of us would risk drowning to save you, Pastor William? I would say that when lives were on the line, his flock did their Christian duty." I noticed Jill standing on the edge of the group listening, her eyes close to tears. Hey, I hated Tim, but I wasn't going to let these spineless bastards degrade the man in front of his widow, no matter how I felt. "I'm sure we would all rise to the challenge," Mr. Wellington pontificated. "Then you are as good a man as Uncle Tim," I trapped him with his own words. "Your Uncle Tim gave everything, including his life," Pastor Bill said with a smug, superior smile. "His willingness to give should be an example for all." "I'm already giving. The Festivities Committee's budget seems a bit anemic so I'm going to be funding some of their efforts," I enlightened him. "That is not how tithes are normally handled," Pastor Bill corrected me. "I'm not a normal guy," I grinned. "Pastor, I'll look over my schedule and call your house to let you know if I can swing dinner tomorrow. It has been a wonderful chat but I have to be going now." I turned and left them there, confident I hadn't made any friends among Bill's inner circle. The price of their friendship was way more than I was willing to pay and it wasn't just monetary. My girls swarmed around me, even Jill. "Thank you, Zane," Jill said softly. "Tim would have been proud." "Jill, I said that for you, not him. You stood by him and that shouldn't be trampled on by people who don't know any better," I comforted her. "I was getting ready to cry out 'Blood and Souls for my Lord Arioch," Rio grinned. "Why did you antagonize them?" Iona wondered. "They are used to bullying people and getting their way. I let them know I was more than willing to fight," I told Iona. "He also wanted the women to see what he was doing," Barbie Lynn said. "I saw a few females, Felicity included, who thought a great deal of how Zane handled the situation." "Girls love watching men fight over them," Rio laughed as we exited into the parking lot. "Is everyone coming to our place for lunch?" Jill asked. I took a quick look around the girls who nodded their approval. "Sure thing, Jill; we will be at home in an hour," I answered. Getting back to campus and into casual clothes wasn't a problem, nor was lunch with Jill. We sat around and shot the shit for an hour afterwards but school work demanded that we head back to school to do some actual classwork. I went by Raven's to pick her up because she'd left me a text (by way of Iona) that she'd made some progress over the weekend. "We really should study in the library," Raven told me as we headed to my room. "The last time I checked, the library didn't have a snack bar," I told her. Raven was less than convinced and a bit nervous until we opened the door to the bottom of the steps leading to the Solarium where I lived and the voices of multiple girls welcomed us. "You have company?" she questioned me. "All freshmen are welcome in my room, Raven. You'll see," I informed her. "Is there going to be anyplace for us to study, Raven began to confound me, then we came to the point where you could see past the side of the stairs into the Solarium. "Oh, God," she muttered at the scope of the room, "you, you have pool tables!" she ended up in a near squeal. "I love pool!" She took a few steps forward into the room before looking back at me. "What is all this? Where did this all come from?" "I was given the entire Solarium as my room, sort of, and I decided to convert most of it to a common area for the freshman class," I said. "How long has this been going on?" she wondered. "We did it yesterday," Iona said from the closest sofa. She put down her laptop and walked over to us. "Zane paid for the stuff and we students put it in. Let me show you around." "You do that, Iona," I told her, as I gave my diminutive friend a hug, "I'll be in my room." Iona led Raven deeper into the complex of entertainment while I headed to my room, which seemed to be the quietest place to study today. I passed around the Chinese silk screens that shielded my private area from the rest of the Solarium and saw my new monster-sized bed. I also saw the tall, honey-blonde Amazon reclining on it, looking my way. "Come here, my Love-Monkey," she said in a deep, husky voice. I'm sure my mouth gaped open. "Ah, I don't believe we've been introduced," I managed to finally say. She smiled and patted the bed beside her. "You are seriously hot and I'm positive I'd remember you if we'd met, but I don't and I do need to study so I'm going to ask you to please leave," I groaned. "Trust me, I really don't want to be asking you that either." I heard laughter from the far side of the bed and Rio slowly raised her body into sight. "Bro, the look on your face is priceless," she chuckled. "So this is really your room?" the other girl inquired. "I told you it was," Rio grinned. "Yes, it is," I responded as well. "In fact, this entire floor is mine, mainly because the Administration has nowhere else to stick me." "Rio, what's going on here?" I turned to my other friend. "Honest, Boss," she beamed, "I found her when I got home. She's my new dorm mate, your replacement." "You were her first roommate?" the newcomer asked. "For all of one night," I confessed. "Then everyone realized she had boobies, and I didn't, and I developed this current life of seclusion." "This is your version of seclusion?" she questioned. "What can I say?" I sighed. "I'm a man of creature comforts. That still doesn't explain you on my bed. Rio?" "She is Valerie Palmer, a new addition to the school," Rio started, "but that's not the cool part. She's a member of the Stormriders motorcycle gang." Seeing my lack of name recognition, Rio added, "They are a big deal in the West, Colorado, Wyoming, New Mexico, Nevada, and Arizona, of course." "Nice to meet you, Valerie." I knelt on the bed and extended my hand. "I'm Glenn Zane Braxton, but everyone calls me Zane. Welcome to FFU, and what brought you to us?" "Dad is a born-again Christian and he wanted me to come here, so here I am," she shrugged. Now, to me that made no sense, as she should have been eighteen, thus her own person, but who was I to press into her personal matters. "Damn it, Zane, I keep forgetting you were living in a cave for the past two years," Rio shook her head. "Her grandfather is Daniel 'Damien' Palmer." Again, I didn't know who that person was. "My grandfather is doing three life sentences," Valerie said with a degree of weariness. "Fine. I should take it the Stormriders are not a motorcycle club, then," I grinned at her. Valerie's eyes and mine locked for several seconds. "Are you arrogant, stupid, or really unconcerned?" Valerie asked me. "A little of all three," Rio chimed in. "You should never ask a man if he's arrogant because if he is, he won't know it," I responded. "I'm smart enough to get into this university, but them I'm dumb enough to be the only guy at this university," I continued. "I can honestly tell you I really don't care who you were before you came here. It is none of my damn business. If you want to be friends, I'm game." Valerie nodded. "Oh, and Rio is a nutjob, but if you hurt her, I'll make you suffer, I swear it." "Is that supposed to scare me, rich boy?" Valerie said, becoming very serious and sitting up, "because I'm not impressed." "I didn't say it to impress you, Valerie," I met her gaze, "I believe in fair warning. I don't care if you are damaged goods or you are one stone-cold, bad-ass bitch; you mess with Rio and I'll take her pain out of your hide." "Rio, I thought you told me this guy was cool," Valerie said to Rio while still looking at me. "Best guy in the whole God-damn world," Rio beamed. "Zane, have you ever stabbed somebody?" Valerie quizzed me. "On purpose or by accident?" I asked. "How do you stab someone by accident?" Valerie wondered. "You toss their ass into a stand of bamboo so hard the stalks break and they get impaled," I answered. "I take it you've done it on purpose." She shrugged. "Do you fight much?" she changed tact. "More than I should," I replied, "but I ass in where I don't belong too much." "Me too," Valerie nodded, "on the 'I fight more than I should' thing." "Well, I would rather talk shit upfront than spill blood later," I pointed out. "Like warning me about Rio," she nodded. "Please believe me, she's a nut and will get on your nerves, so please don't toss her out a window or down the stairs because I'm actually attached to her," I grinned. Rio flopped on the bed. "I should be mouthing empty denials but Zane's pretty much right," Rio snickered, "and if he hadn't fucked me silly on the preacher's desk this morning, I'd be in his face about this bullshit." "You had sex on your preacher's desk?" Valerie smiled. "Zane, what are these girls, what the hell?" Raven went off. "What kind of bedroom is this?" "Raven, you know Rio and this is her new roommate Valerie. Valerie, this is Raven," I groaned. "Hey, Raven," Valerie greeted her. "So do you normally walk into Zane's bedroom too?" "No," Raven blushed. "He invited me over to do some work on our English project." Iona stepped in behind Raven and waved to Rio. "Iona, Valerie; Valerie, Iona," I sighed. "Wait!" Valerie raised her hand and looked back to me. "Are you gay? Because I see a lot of girls strolling into your room and none of them have been identified as your girlfriend yet." "Technically, that would be Heaven," Iona volunteered. "She's a senior." "Can we get back to everyone being in Zane's room?" Raven grumbled. "And what is he doing with a bed as big as my entire room back home?" Valerie appraised the room. "Got it," she laughed. "You are sleeping with her (Iona) and her (Rio), but not you (Raven)." "Of course I'm not sleeping with him," Raven shot back. "I took a Purity Pledge, as should all of you." "I'm not a virgin," Valerie responded. "Me, either," Rio waved. "I am," Iona raised her hand. "That's nice," I directed. "Rio, Valerie, and Iona, please leave. I've invited Raven to my room so we can do actual classwork because I occasionally like to pretend I'm in college for an education." "On it, Zane," Rio snickered. "Come on, Valerie, let's go check out the hot tub. I wanted to show you to Zane so he could put you on his 'To Do' list." Iona shook her head and left. "I've got a boyfriend," Valerie clarified. "Thank God," I muttered, which drew looks from all three women. After Rio and Val left, Raven kept staring at me. "I, does this happen to you often?" she finally asked. "Yes, but I've learned to adjust," I pointed out. We sat down on the bed, Raven pulled out four library books on the period we were looking into, and we began going through them and taking notes. "Is Heaven really your girlfriend?" Raven asked after a while. "Yes, but it is more complicated than that. I love another girl but I don't know if she loves me, and I spend time with a dozen other girls here, plus I have friends at a Sorority House off campus," I explained. "And you sleep with Rio, who isn't a virgin, and Iona, who is," she stated, and I confirmed with a nod. "I was wrong. If you can keep all that straight in your head, you have a good grasp of details. We are going to do fine on this term paper." "Thank you, Raven," I smiled at her, and for a change, she smiled back. Gust Front I would have liked to spend the night with Iona and Barbie Lynn but Iona informed me that Coach Dana Gorman had tested her security code earlier in the day and I figured something was up; nothing good for me and my friends. Sure enough, at 12:10 in the morning, my little buzzer by the bed that informed me that a key code was being entered woke me up. I silenced the alarm (no sense in letting them know that I had it) and waited in bed. Shortly thereafter, the Coach and two female security guards came strolling in. "Alone?" Dana quipped. "You asking me out?" I grinned. "Get up; we need to check the bed, if that is what you call this thing," she motioned to my sleeping platform. I dutifully got out of bed. "What are you doing?" she snapped when she realized I was naked. "Getting out of bed like you asked me to. I sleep in the nude, or didn't you already know that?" I yawned. "Put some clothes on," she ordered. I picked up my robe and put it on while they stripped back my sheets and looked for bodily fluids under the dark light. I had been at my Aunt's the past two nights, so yes, my bed was still fresh. Unsatisfied, Dana and her two buddies began roughly going over my place. When they finally discovered nothing (my hiding places were specifically designed), the two officers turned and left. "I'll be keeping an eye on you, Zane. You can expect this to be a regular occurrence," she promised. I simply stared. We remained looking at one another for a minute because she knew I was up to something. "That's right, step out of line and make my job easier," she noted. Again I kept my silence. It would have been easy to take this personally but I'd told her this was War and I took that seriously. I doubted I was the sole beneficiary of their attention so I had to get ready to respond to their next move. "Nothing to say?" she asked. I kept staring. "Say something, damn it," she growled. "Good night, Coach," I obliged. She shook her head, turned, and walked away. When I saw the door close behind her I went back to my room and took out my phone. I made three calls to the concerned parties and a final call to Iona, to have her wipe my call log. I can't say I slept well that night. Showering in the morning was troublesome enough on normal days but this morning, Rio decided to invite Valerie to join us. I did my best to pretend to ignore her, which wasn't easy. Valerie was around six feet with milky skin where the sun didn't reach and tanned where it did. Her hair was golden-blonde and she was trimmed, not shaved. Her eyes were grey with a hint of blue around the edges; he breasts were a solid C without a hint of sag. There sure were a lot of blondes going to this school. I could see the mental calculations going through her head as she walked in and the other girls eyed her. In the hierarchy of this place, I didn't hold a place; proximity to me showed a girl's status among the crowd. Opal was top dog, but Rio and Iona were marked by their close relationship with me as well. Valerie clearly thought about walking away from it all to spare herself the drama and the grief. She countered that with the knowledge that she had to fit in somewhere in this school, and as non-traditional as she was, her best bet was with us. She answered that internal struggle by taking the shower one down from me, next to Opal. Opal expressed her dominance to Valerie by corralling me into a body massage and a show of mutual affection. I thought Valerie was unimpressed with those actions but as we got into it, I sensed she was intrigued by the notion of having sex without actually having sex, and the sexual arousal that came with it. As I settled in front of the sink to brush my hair, shave, and brush my teeth, Valerie took the sink beside me. "You don't seem to mind all these naked bodies around you," she noted. "Why should I? I enjoy them and they enjoy me. I like making them happy, and my presence certainly makes their lives more difficult so I'm glad to help," I explained. "So, do things ever go to the next level?" Valerie asked. "Not here, and not with most of these women; they are virgins and happy about that fact. They want to be virgins on their wedding nights and I respect that," I answered. "Rio makes you out to be some sort of sex-crazed stud monster," Val informed me. "Rio's not a virgin and her only plans for marriage involve her being a black widow to her old, rich husbands," I grinned. "Is she, bi-sexual?" Valerie whispered. "Yes, I can verify that she is," I replied quietly. "Has she hit on you yet? Wait, silly question, have you thrown her out of your bed yet?" "This morning I found her sucking on my nipple through my nightshirt," she smirked. "Rio needs constant reminding of where the boundaries are," I informed Val. "You two talking about me?" Rio came bouncing up. "Is there a three-way in our future? Who gets tied up?" Valerie groaned in response. "Rio, there is such a thing as personal space and acceptable roommate behavior," I told Rio. "Things like spontaneously feeling her up while she sleeps are Bad!" "God, damn it!" Rio squalled, "But did you see the size of those bad boys? They are huge and puffy and I swear, they were calling out to me across the room." "In my long and illustrious career with the female nipple, they have never talked to me. If you don't behave, I'm going to have to tie you up at the next orgy and make you watch," I warned. I couldn't threaten to take away something she had, like her piercings; that would make her dig in her heels. Instead, I went after the things she was looking forward to. "Don't forget to secure her hands over her head so she can't diddle herself," Valerie got into the sport of things. "Good point," I agreed. "Major buzz-kill, you two. Valerie, you are trying to make your first day here no fun at all," Rio teased. "Which reminds me; Valerie, has Rio warned you about Handmaiden's Duty?" I inquired. Rio looked offended that I would say such a thing while Val looked confused. "It is a tradition here that requires all freshmen to perform a task of a non-damaging nature for any and all upperclassmen. They cannot grab you in class or a dorm room, but anywhere else is fair game," I informed her. "My first task was to be a bench for someone to sit on," Rio grinned. "Mine was to kiss a girl," I nodded. "Kiss her? Cordelia damn near passed out, you kissed her so long and deep," Rio teased me. "The first one was very nice and chaste," Iona stepped up and added. "It was the second one that curled her toes and started the stampeded on Zane." "What do I do if a girl asks me to kiss her?" Valerie worried. "Tell her you are waiting for your herpes to clear up," Rio volunteered. "It isn't likely to happen," Iona came across with sounder advice. "Homosexuality is frowned on at this campus." "I'd tell you to kiss them and enjoy the moment, but I'm a guy," I shrugged. "I'm still not sure what is normal for this place," Valerie related. "Rio and Zane are aberrations," Iona offered. "Most of the girls here are fundamentalist Christian virgins who are looking to get married once they graduate this place." "What is your story?" Val asked Iona. "I was pretty much the girl I just described until I met these two," she smiled. "Now I feel that I have, options." "Options like prison time," Rio laughed, "or becoming a sex toy at an S&M club." "I was thinking more like taking a summer and roaming the country," Iona glared Rio. "Maybe I could teach you to ride a motorcycle and you can come with me," Valerie offered. "That would be wonderful!" Iona brightened up. "When could we start?" "This afternoon, if you like," Val responded. "My ride is in the parking lot." "You have a motorcycle, here?" Rio exclaimed. "Rio, it is hard to be in a motorcycle gang without a chopper," Valerie pointed out. "On that note, I have to go," I sighed. New girls were starting to migrate in, meaning I had to retreat to my room. "Take care, everyone." The crapstorm fell on us as we left the dorm. All kinds of upperclassmen snatched up freshmen as they appeared and shadowed Pro-Christina students they couldn't grab. Rio and I were able to shove off of Valerie before she was identified as being with one of us, so she made it to the Dining Hall unmolested. I didn't have to do anything too heinous, carry three backpacks while reciting the Gospel of Luke from memory (ugh). They made Rio sing 'Onward Christian Soldier' because it was the only religious song she'd admit to knowing. She did a horrific hack-job of it too. They had Iona going through the descendants of Noah; she knocked them back flawlessly, Brainiac. It got better at the Dining Hall door where Rhaine oversaw the removal of every electronic device from the incoming students, no phones, tablets or laptops, nothing capable of rapid communicat

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 1 When Glen Zane Braxton is accidentally accepted into a fundamentalist women s college. In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. Leading up to the first day of college. Every old trick was invented by someone once upon a time. A Little Background: Hi. My name is Glenn Zane Braxton but everyone calls me Zane. I'm a good-looking (or so I'm told) athletic kid just over six feet tall and just under two hundred pounds. I get my Nordic looks from my Mom who hails from Norway. I apparently get my optimistic attitude and loose moral structure from my Dad, though I was to learn that Mom was a bit freaky too. My parents were killed in a rock climbing accident when I was fifteen so I was sent to live with my Uncle Tim (Dad's younger brother) and Aunt Jill. Unfortunately for me, while my parents had been rich hedonists, Tim and Jill were fundamentalist Christians doing missionary work in northern Thailand. I spent the next two-and-a-half years in a place where a paved road was a luxury. I have nothing against Christianity; I consider myself a decent Christian but I believe my faith stops at the next person's 'I'm not interested'. My aunt and uncle were a very different breed. They believed that it was every Christian's duty to convert our little brown brothers and sisters (no shit, this is what Tim told me) whether they wanted it or not. Needless to say, I witnessed them busting their self-righteous heads against the faith and traditions of these ancient people they'd come to 'help enlighten,' while I learned all about Thai culture, cuisine, and kick-boxing. I learned that spending time with Thai women was a hell of a way to get another kind of education too. On the down side, Tim beat me whenever he found out about the women. To get back at him, I spent time with Buddhist monks - score one for the Zen! Three months ago there was an incredibly brutal monsoon and something possessed Tim to go down to the river to save people. Since every sane individual was running away from the river, I pleaded that we go with the people that actually knew what was going on. Instead, I ended up with my Aunt and Uncle hip deep in the muddy water when an uprooted tree hit Tim and Jill. Like a fool I jumped into the flood waters after them. I got to Jill - Tim was a goner. Afterwards, when I realized that no Tim meant a return to the States, I was not crying tears of joy - that would have been cruel. After they gave up the search for Tim, Jill and I returned to Western Civilization. Jill surprised me by actually having a college degree that was useful and she got a job in Virginia working as an insurance adjuster for a nice sized company. I had completed my high school credits online back in Thailand and passed my college entrance exam so I was looking forward to partying it up somewhere far away from Jill. Fate has a funny way of laughing at me, though. For some byzantine reason, Dad set up my trust fund so that I would get a fraction of my inheritance when I turned eighteen, as long as I was in an institution of higher learning approved of by Tim and Jill - now just Jill. Otherwise, I had to wait until I was twenty-one. I wanted to go to the University of Hawaii Jill found a nice little place close to what she called home, real close. Speaking of home; our living arrangements were courtesy of Tim's generous insurance policy and his own little share of Dad's family's money. She bought us an expansive two-story spread with nice large yards, front and back, right where the countryside hits the suburbs. I wished we had a pool and even offered to dip into my own funds to have one put in but since pools were 'cesspits of depravity' Jill nixed the notion. Getting a car was also an interesting discussion. Jill said 'no way' and wouldn't budge until we noticed that our neighbors were two nice looking ladies in their twenties (I guessed). On the day we moved in I went over to talk (I'm drawn to women like a comet to the Sun) and spent over an hour getting to know them. There were two big pluses about their place; one was the large pool in back, which the girls (there turned out to be more than two) promised I could use whenever I wanted, real nice of them. The other one was, When I got home I told Jill not to worry about the car; the cute lesbian couple offered to pick me up from school whenever I needed a ride. "Are they atheists?" Jill gasped. Apparently them being homosexuals wasn't enough? "Nah, they are Wiccans," I lied again with a smile. We went car shopping the next day. I figured I would tell Jill we lived next to a sorority house (to the other university in town) at some later date. What Not to Wear Moving in turned out to be half the battle for my life at the new house. Next came the clothing war. Personally, I think I look great naked and do wonderful with people of the female persuasion but in Virginia they arrest you for this. Since I only have a twenty percent chance of being taken in by a female police officer (or the five percent of the male officers who are out and-out homosexuals), I'm going to go to jail if I go around nude. My solution was to look around the local teenage hangouts, websites, and social networks to get me a style that would be both individualistic yet fit in. Aunt Jill was of the opinion that my school uniform (see below) would be my normal look. When I told her I'd use my own money to get what I wanted she threatened to throw them out because I was still living under her roof. I got pissed off and since my outlet options were pretty limited, I stupidly went to my room and did what every teenage boy should never do when their female guardian is at home - maybe I have malaria and the fever was clouding my thought processes. In Thailand I would simply go out into the jungle Jill never went out into the wilderness if she could help it. There was no jungle and Jill knew right where my room was, and since it was her house, she barged right in. Half way through giving me a piece of her mind Jill noticed me, the Vaseline, the box of Kleenex, and what my hand was pumping. I yanked the comforter on my bed, trying to cover myself, which resulted in my flipping off the bed (I was sitting on the comforter) and rolling to Jill's feet. Jill stood there with her mouth wide open, eyes glued to my cock. I stopped pumping but my rod wouldn't go down despite my shame, not of my erection but because I didn't like sexually taunting a recent widow. "That's, that's disgusting," she gasped while still fixated on my erection. I wiggled around so that I could pull up my underwear and slacks. Once my cock was under cover Jill started harping on me. "You vile pervert," she seethed. "What is the meaning of you showing your, thing to me? You are filthy. Wash your sheets then wash your hands then never do this again." "Um, Jill, Aunt Jill, I'm an eighteen-year-old male. I need to masturbate," I informed her. "Not in this house," she said shrilly. I grabbed the tissues and Vaseline, then headed for the door. "Where are you going?" she worried. "Into the woods out back," I answered as I tried to move past her. "I kind of need to finish this." "You will do no such thing," Jill gasped as she grabbed my arm, "you might be seen, and it's wrong." First priority for Jill was social appearances while my spiritual well-being was somewhat less important at that moment. "Jill," I cautioned her, "I really need to knock one out. I'm stressed." Jill grabbed the Vaseline and tissues from my hands, not because she was stronger but because in my own twisted way, I still acknowledged Jill as my authority figure; not much of one, but one nonetheless. Ripping them away from her wasn't an option so, "Jill, you are my only parent now. I need to come to you about, things sexual," I suggested. "No," Jill responded with some shock. "There will be no sex in this house. You will have sex when you are married and not before, ever. Even then, sex is only for procreation." "Jill, I'm not a virgin," I informed her. Her jaw dropped but I'm not sure if it was shock, horror, or something else. "You've had sex with a girl?" she whispered. "Aunt Jill, I had twenty girlfriends back at the mission," I related. "Did, Did Tim know? How did it happen? When did you do it?" she stammered. "Tim knew; that is why he kept beating my ass. "It happened simply enough; we would be bathing down at the river and if we liked what we'd seen and if things clicked, we'd go fool around. Sometimes we'd kiss and touch and sometimes we'd have sex; you know, blowjobs, cunnilingus, vaginal and anal sex," I continued. "Gack, ah, oh, God preserve me," Jill sputtered. "As for when, the best time was right after Bible study when you and Tim were preoccupied with the parents and us kids could sneak off to a house and fool around in the common room, and then couples would pair up and have sex in the bedrooms," I finished. "Oh, poor Tim," Jill moaned as she slumped against the door sill. "Can I have my stuff and go now?" I asked softly. "No," she snapped. We kind of stood there for a minute before she asked, "Were you sneaking peeks of me at the river?" "Umm," I half turned away, "yeah, I did." Jill looked offended. "You are very sexy, Jill," I attempted to mollify her. It didn't work. "You pervert, you freak, that's incest. It is against God's Laws!" she screamed at me. "Jill, we are not blood related, and I never said I actually wanted to sleep with you, only that you have a very nice body," I countered calmly. "Shut up! Stop talking," she shouted, before storming off, leaving me even more frustrated. An hour later Jill sent me out to get some pizza but when I got back she wasn't in the house, though her car was still in the garage. I smelled smoke and followed the scent out into the backyard. I saw what Jill was doing; she didn't need to tell me what she was up to but she did it anyway. "I think we need to put your misspent time in Thailand behind you," she announced, "so I've decided it is best to get rid of all the clothes, books, and statues you brought back." "You should have asked me," I stated. Of course, this meant War. "You are awash in sin, Zane," she answered in this twisted, loving tone. I turned and went in the house. What had that monk said to me when I'd discussed my relationship with Tim and Jill? One does not build a house of stone out of grass Which he suggested meant petty payback satisfies little and is soon gone, but real revenge comes from working permanent change on your opponent. Over the next four days I ordered a secure chest online, withdrew my bank limit each day, and started taking a pitcher of grape juice to my room at bedtime (it will make sense in a moment). I decided to start my plan Sunday night. Stage One: after Jill has gone to bed, fill her car up with gas and report all her credit cards and bank card stolen. We have plenty of food in the kitchen and Jill takes her lunch to work so with the car full of gas she won't immediately notice her cards are useless tomorrow. Also withdraw yet another five hundred dollars with my bank card, which is the daily limit. Stage Two: Once Jill has gone to work, I put three of her Sunday's Best into the steel chest, to which I have the only combination. Burn every piece of ultra-conservative matronly-wear, from underwear to bathrobes to jackets. Now that mid-morning has come, I head over to the Sorority House and enlist the aid of my two new friends, Leigh and Corrie. We go clothes shopping with the money I've saved up. Each 'sister' gets one thing (for services rendered) and the rest of the money we dump on getting Jill everything a sexually confident and active twenty-something would wear (Jill's only thirty) as well as getting me some normal clothes. I'm not going to attempt to make Jill dress like a hooker; that would never work. Jill's been warped by her narrow-minded environment for all of her three decades so making her more tolerant is going to take time. Stage Three: As we are heading to the bedrooms that evening I 'accidently' bump into Jill and soak her with a pitcher of grape juice she now knows I'm taking to my room on a regular basis. Grape juice doesn't come out and a pitcher will soak her down to her underwear and bra. "Sorry, Aunt Jill," I blathered. "Oh, Zane, this dress is totally ruined. I should make you pay to replace it," she sounded cross. "Consider it done," I offered. Technically, I'd already bought her a new one. Jill went into the bathroom muttering Leviticus before tossing me a roll of paper towels to clean up the spilled juice. "Zane?" Jill called from the bathroom with a hint of concern. "Yes?" I responded from the hallway. "Where is my bathrobe?" she inquired. "In the laundry," I lied. I hear her putter around for a few seconds, then, "Go to your room and shut the door," she ordered me. I got up and made a point of noisily shutting my door. Half a minute later the bathroom door squeaked open and I heard Jill pad quietly to her room and shut the door. I opened my door and sprinted to the bathroom. I retrieved her clothes from the hamper and tossed them in the sink, got the carefully secreted lighter fluid from underneath, doused them, and tossed in a lit match. At the same time as I'm doing this, I heard Jill slamming dresser drawers open and shut. "ZANE!" Boy, what have you done?" Jill shouted from her room. I raced out of the bathroom (on purpose) at the same time Jill burst out of her room so we were basically five feet apart when Jill remembered that she was naked; I was barefoot in pajama bottoms. Jill's look was priceless as she realized that the number of men who'd seen her totally naked since she hit puberty had just doubled. She spun around and bolted into her room, door slamming shut once more. It took her a few moments to form a plan. "Zane, go to your room and shut the door," she growled with a tad more control. "Sure thing." I grinned as I walked to my room, shut the door, and leaned against it waiting for what I knew would unfold next. Sure enough, Jill raced to the bathroom. "Zane, where is my dress?" "In the sink," I told her. Three, two, one. "ZANE! What have you done!" she screamed once more. "My bra, my underwear, my hose, she sobbed. "Jane, you have a robe in your closet. If you want, put it on and come to my room so we can talk this over," I suggested. I didn't hear anything for fifteen minutes as I waited on my bed. Finally, the door swung open slowly and Jill took a half step into my room. Her eyes were downcast in shame but her voice was full of hurt and anger. In her mind there was no possible reason for me to have done this. She was pulling off the Hurt Little Girl bit really well with her mid-thigh crimson satin robe and her wavy, deep-red hair flowing loosely over her shoulders and down her back. "I can't believe you picked this out for me to wear, Zane. Now where are my clothes?" she ground out. "Jill, you look good in that, really good, but I didn't pick it out for you. I had our next-door neighbors do that because you are all beautiful young women," I explained. "If you tell me what color you are wearing, I'll tell you where your clothes are." Jill stood stock still as she worked out that I was talking about her panties. "Blue, the deep blue ones, with the black, lace," she whispered. "Not the white?" I had to ask since I would have guessed this was the first pair of non-white panties she'd ever worn. Her constricted mind had expanded a tiny bit. "The white ones were nearly see-through," she answered after a second. I had to agree with that. "I put your clothes exactly where you put all the stuff I brought back from Thailand," I answered. It took a moment for that to sink in. Her burning green eyes popped up in shock. "What am I going to wear to work tomorrow?" she wailed. "I'll tell you if you agree to one request I have for you," I replied with compassion. "Fine," she hiccupped. She was so body conscious that she wasn't really thinking about the implications of what she was saying but I believed she would still honor her word. "I want you to wear your hair down all day tomorrow, or in a ponytail, but that's it," I ordered. Jill looked at me truly confused; she always wore it in a bun. "But why?" she questioned. "I don't understand." "Your hair is beautiful when it is down, Aunt Jill. I figure it wouldn't kill you to try a new look," I answered. Again, she didn't understand but I was okay with that, and getting her clothes out of the closet was part of the deal. I pulled out bag after bag and set them on the bed. Jill stepped up during the process and pulled various articles of clothing out, utterly flummoxed with what she was discovering. This wasn't slut-wear but it would definitely show more of her curves and skin than she would have ever normally considered. When I finished bringing bags out she looked past me, expecting more. "I can't wear any of this," she declared. "Please tell me you didn't really destroy my clothes." "Jill, I did burn up most of your clothes and you can wear what I bought you. You are thirty, not sixty-five. When I jumped into that river, God decided that I rescued you and not Tim, and I can't believe I saved you so you could go right back to the same life you had before," I interpreted what might have been true, God doesn't talk to me. "What did I do to deserve this, Zane?" she pleaded. "You burned up all my stuff from Thailand, Jill. And while you might think of this as revenge, it's not. You may not see it this way now but one day, I hope you will understand that I love you," I told her. "Zane, I don't understand. What you did was evil, despicable, and wicked and I won't tolerate it. We should pray to God, me for guidance and you for forgiveness," she pouted. She made to kneel down at my bedside so I followed out of long practice. We clasped our hands in prayer and while Jill closed her eyes, mine remained open. Now, my bed is not even at knee level so when Jill knelt down to pray, leaning forward until her elbows were on the mattress, she inadvertently thrust her ass backwards, yes, Jill was doggy style on my bed. I had abstractly known Jill was attractive but the thought of having sex with her had never come up. What was now 'coming up' was suddenly a problem, as were my attempts to keep up with exactly what Jill was asking God for, but the gist of it seemed to involve the Almighty taking steel wool to my corrupt soul, the harder and more painful the scrubbing, the better. "Amen," we said in unison as the thirty-seven minute ordeal came to an end and Jill stood up. "Jesus has told me that I only have to put up with your dementia until morning. I'd rather get new clothes instead of showing up to work, as some strumpet," she proclaimed. "Um, where did you come up with the word 'strumpet' and who ever said it was a sin to be good looking?" I asked. "Nothing I got for you suggests sexuality, no push-up bras, crop tops, or slit skirts. They're clothes, nothing more." "It doesn't matter what you think," Jill countered. "Whatever madness you thought you were accomplishing won't work. I really should call the pastor." "And tell him what, that I burned your clothes and bought you, normal clothes? Why don't we call everyone on the church roster?" I warned her. Jill balked at the prospect of having our family feud exposed. Jill sniffed, spun, and started to leave the room when she recalled the clothes I'd bought for her. She huffed and came back for them, looking at me very indignantly. When I went to help, she warned me off with a hateful glare. An hour later, as I began to despair over my actions, I heard Jill's bedroom door open and a crinkly crunch in the hall. Upon examination, I found one of the bags I'd purchased clothes in outside her door. Inside, folded up, were the other bags. Jill had put my clothes away in her drawers and closet. I counted that to be a small victory. At breakfast the next morning I endeavored to be very correct and polite as I complimented Jill on how nice she looked. She returned my platitudes with an angry glare and she left for work without saying a word. In her favor, when she learned her credit cards were toast she didn't break down and scream at me over the phone or miss work. That evening she did still slam the door to the garage loud enough to rattle windows on the other side of the house when she got home from work. "ZANE!" she screamed, "What did you do to my credit cards?" "Your replacements should be here by Saturday or Monday at the latest," I replied soothingly as she stormed up to me. "So," I went on, "did anyone compliment you on your looks today?" "What, I, that's not important," she muttered, then she changed tact. She came over to the sofa where I was reclining, knelt down, and took my hand. "Zane, you are falling into lust, degeneration, and degradation, sins of the flesh. You have to stop this." 'Stop what?' I wasn't precisely sure. "What you want me to do? Should we pray further on the matter? Last night I felt, something, but I still feel empty," I suggested. Jill's face lit up so I slipped past her and knelt beside her. Jill was unwittingly sexy as she sashayed forward on her knees to rest against the sofa. I reached out to her and she took my hand, then the praying began. What followed was a repetitive litany of me falling into lust and dark desires (clothes buying?). Dear departed Uncle Tim didn't even get an honorable mention which would have been surprising if he hadn't been such a total bastard to me. Jill's neglect I didn't quite understand. She'd always been loyal, dutiful, and supportive. It then occurred to me that I'd never seen him exert an ounce of human compassion toward Jill. I got up and ran to my bedroom, ending up on the bed. Jill padded along behind me after a minute. "Zane?" she wondered. "When is the last time you had sex with Uncle Tim?" I whispered so quietly that Jill struggled to understand me. "But, no, don't do this, Zane, don't fall into apostasy," Jill simpered. "I have a gift for you. It is something you want but I need you to answer the question," I offered. "What is the gift?" she asked, guardedly intrigued. "I can promise you no regrets," I countered. Jill weighed her options, turned, and left. "Dinner," Jill called to me an hour later. I dutifully went downstairs to the dining room to enjoy a mediocre meal in silence. We barely exchanged a single glance. As I got up to clean the table, cleaning was my chore, Jill spoke. "Seven years." I was pretty proud that I didn't fall over in shock. First off, in my teenage, hormone-addled mind, how could anyone go without sex for seven years? Next, how could someone with Jill as a wife not want to have sex at least once every seven hours? Finally, what was Tim doing in the lady-boy section of Bangkok when he found me that one time? I really feel like an idiot on occasion. "I saved your three favorite Sunday dresses," I rewarded her. Jill's eyes showed a glimmer of hope. "Which ones? I mean, how did you know which ones were my favorites?" she pondered. "You told me, Aunt Jill. I do listen to you, ya know," I responded. She gave me the oddest look, as if I had just explained to her how Ruth slew Goliath, not David. "Thank you," she whispered. The first battle of the Witch, the Brat, and the Wardrobe was over. The war would go on. The next time we went grocery shopping (Jill decided that the less time I was left alone, the slower I would plummet to my eventual fiery demise) I caught her noticing guys giving her the once over and she liked it, of that I'm sure. How do I know this? She let me talk to the cute stock girl for fifteen seconds before reeling me in, which was long enough for her to write her number on the palm of my hand. I called her and asked if she wanted to go to a sorority party when the semester began. She informed me she was a rising senior in high school so I gave her my number and told her to call me on her eighteenth birthday if she was still interested. You can't win them all, immediately. FFU             Birds are made beautiful by their plumage but divine by their flight        Now to the college I was attending; Freedom Fellowship University (yes, that is F-FU if you stutter) is the Christian college in my new hometown. Jill read about them in online chat rooms and by communicating with some of her Christian social network gal pals. She heard they had a dress code and without checking on the specifics, she bought me a dozen sets of black slacks and white shirts guaranteed to mark me as a social leper. She signed me up for my classes. I opted for Pre-Med; she insisted I should go Pre-Law until I revealed my secret sinful desire to work for the ACLU, at which point she relented. She wanted me to play some sports, I suspect because she wanted me to have a safe hormonal outlet that didn't involve me touching women. I could have told her that dressed as I was, getting women (short of kidnapping) would be nearly impossible. The problem was, they didn't offer any of the traditional sports except for soccer and track and field. I felt that was odd but I decided to sign up for soccer tryouts anyway. I also signed up for Karate, though I had no idea what a Christian school would be teaching that for, plus Archery (I've never used a bow before), Marksmanship (I've never fired a gun either), and Orienteering (because everyone gets lost in suburban Virginia and has to subsist on squirrel and road kill, right?). I downright refused to have anything to do with the Competitive Bible Study Team. By the end of the admissions process I was beginning to think this was a school for some kind of uber-religious survivalists. Still, they accepted me on short notice and except for a tiny quirk in the online admissions form, I was sadly ready to go to college. It would be that tiny quirk that would change my life forever. There Must Be a Church! Before I could attend college there was one quibble to deal with and that was which church Jill and I would attend. I claimed to be partial to the Unitarians, mainly to watch Jill's face go from normal to pale to an angry beet red. Sometimes razzing her is too easy. Jill chose the First Anointed Free-willed Fellowship of Christ after carefully weighing, considering, and then utterly disregarding my input. I guess I had to be happy they weren't snake handlers. On that first Sunday it was raining. I ended up having to run back into the house as Jill backed the car out of the garage and I took a header into a mud puddle in the lawn. Seeing how soaked I was, Jill allowed me to miss out on Sunday school. When I tried to get to the normal service my car wouldn't start (she'd insisted on buying me a used car, which I was now allowed to return for a new one). The second Sunday was a comedy of errors. The garage door opened halfway, then got stuck, and Jill gave the wrong address to the church family she desperately called to come pick us up. On the third Sunday I was sick, so sick that I missed the Sci-Fi movie classic of the week-(end) Saturday night, Vampire Zombie Overlords II. Jill normally lets me watch it because I told her it shows science in a bad light. I would like to point out that Jill isn't stupid but she does tend to believe that which is most convenient to her world view, in this case, Science = Bad. The fourth and final college-free Sunday, Buddy Jesus informed me that I had to go because no Act of God showed up to save me. It turned out that the First Anointed Free-willed Fellowship of Christ was huge, one of those mega-churches and by the number of luxury cars in the parking lot, not one populated by the unwashed masses. Everyone was very, very friendly to the point where I refused to drink or eat anything they tried to force on me, fearing that I would become a drugged-out zombie filled with unconditional love and happiness toward the world. The one other weird thing was that there didn't seem to be any kids my age in the congregation. I had no Sunday school that day. I later learned this was the weekend of their Pre-College/High School Youth Retreat. Apparently everyone in this place acted as a herd. Before we left I met with Pastor William Penny, chief shepherd of this flock, and he wanted to be my pal. Jill was enraptured with the guy but somehow he came across as creepy to me. Will, Jill, and a few well-meaning parishioners ended up steering me to the Pastor's office (which was as big as Jill's huge kitchen). There my new buddy wanted me to sign some paperwork. Jill urged me to hurry up and get it over with and promised to take me to a nice steak house we'd seen but never been in, as if I was a small child easily pleased. Maybe I should have gone for pre-law because I ignored Jill and did read what they wanted me to sign. They wanted me to tithe, and not on my income, of which I had none, but on my net worth. Everyone around me looked hopeful and I couldn't help but smile as I picked up the pen and started laughing. When they began looking confused I laughed harder, and that made them displeased. I didn't pick up the pen to write; I picked it up so I could stab the first one to rush me. "Listen up, Pastor Bill, can I call you Pastor Bill?" I didn't wait on his reply. "I don't know you or anyone but Aunt Jill in this room," I chuckled, "and I imagine you are all terribly nice folks, but it will be a cold day in Hell before I give millions of dollars to people I know nothing about." "We are doing God's work," Pastor Bill assured me, "and please call me Pastor William." "Please," Jill pleaded, "this is what your Uncle Tim would want." For Jill's sake I didn't laugh out loud once again. Tim gave me billions of mosquito bites, outdoor plumbing, and ass-whooping s on a regular basis so all I felt I owed good ol' Tim was putting a heavy stone on his grave so that he didn't rise up from the dead when the End Times came. In retrospect, Tim did me one favor; he taught me the ability to be verbally evasive when needed. "Aunt Jill, as Uncle Tim told me, being a Christian is a matter of Faith working through the mind and hands. It is my Christian duty to make sure that his legacy (really my Mom and Dad's) is placed where God wants it. Uncle Tim would make me pray deeply to the Almighty before taking such a momentous step, so pray I shall." Pastor Bill looked disappointed in me, which was a poor mask for his unsatisfied greed. Jill and the rest of the flock seem to have bought my act and that was the victory I needed to win right then. On the way back home Jill was pleased as punch. I'd expressed to her new friends what a wise saint good ol' Uncle Tim had been. This was the day I had to move into my dorm room on FFU's campus so I didn't have much time to dwell on everything that had happened. Barbie Lynn Masters, Dorm Mother To say that I was pretty depressed when I began moving into college would have been an understatement. I met some nice girls who were also moving into my dorm but I wasn't much in the mood for talking. I found my room but they had my name wrong. Not only was I not Zane they even got Glenn wrong; they misspelled it as Glenda. I hadn't been unpacking fifteen minutes before this hottie breezed in asking if I was Glenda's brother. "Sure," I joked, "I'm Zane." "Can I see some ID? I'm the Dorm Mother," she asked pleasantly. I showed her my driver's license which read 'G. Zane Braxton'. "And you are?" I inquired. "Barbie Lynn Masters. Do you live close by?" she prodded. I looked around my room (which I shared with an as-of-yet unseen roomie), shrugged, and replied, "Yes. I live about a mile and a half away, just inside city limits," I played along. Couldn't she see that it was my name on the luggage in my room and I'd already unpacked? "Can we count on seeing a lot more of you?" she purred, stepping up into my personal space. With her four-inch pumps, she was an inch taller than me, so I had to tilt my head up slightly to meet her gaze. "Unless you have a girlfriend, of course," she demurred. "I don't have a girlfriend but I'm looking for one," I grinned back. I wasn't really lying; I was looking for lots of girlfriends. "So, do you have a boyfriend?" "Oh, no," she assured me. "I took a Purity Pledge and I have a fianc so I can't be in a causal relationship with a boy, though being a 'friend' of a student I'm responsible for is fine." She licked her lips. My understanding of her convoluted reasoning was short-circuited by her D plus cleavage, perfect teeth, long light-golden hair, soft bedroom blue eyes, and blemish free, tanned skin. I've never considered myself terribly bashful. I hadn't been with a welcoming and available female in two months; she was right there in my face, so I grabbed Barbie's ass subtly, pulled her close, and began kissing her. At first Barbie seemed to be all talk and no action, but that lasted all of five seconds before she was all over me with our tongues intertwining and our hands going over each other's backs and asses. In a flash I had my hands up her pleated skirt, inside her plain white panties, and was massaging each muscular ass cheek separately and vigorously while my lips left hers and migrated to her neck and ear with kisses and bites, all of which seemed to really excite Barbie Lynn. She was moaning and grinding against me like a teenager coming down from a forty-eight hour unresolved porno binge. Her left hand slid around to the front of my jeans and touched my crotch where I was rapidly coming to the fullness of life. "Oh, God!" she whispered as she began stroking me up and down. "Tell me that's not a rolled up sock." "Huh? What? No, that is all me. Why do you ask?" I mumbled between licks and kisses. "Oh, some boys can be very dishonest," she sighed from past experience. "Does it hurt?" "No, it feels fine," I assured her. "Are you sure it doesn't hurt just a little bit?" she persisted as she groped my bulge. Something clued me in. "Actually, it does hurt a little bit," I guessed. Barbie Lynn broke our embrace, padded silently over to the door, took a quick look out, then shut it. She was back in my arms in record time. "In that case, let me see it," she grinned. "How does a blowjob jive with your Purity Pledge?" I stupidly wondered out loud. "Oh," she beamed an angelic radiance up at me as she slid down my body and unzipped my pants, our eyes locked together, "a blow job is sinful and done out of lust but relieving your pain is blessed and done out of love." "I feel myself getting closer to spiritual fulfillment every second I'm with you," I breathed huskily as she pulled down my pants and boxers, unleashing my manhood. Barbie tentatively, with a bit of fear showing, licked the tip of my cock. I let her get used to me before resting a hand on her head. She responded by slowly engulfing my cockhead, which felt freaking awesome after my long dry spell (please remember I had virtually non-stop sex for two and a half years). She bobbed slightly while pumping my shaft rapidly with one hand and tickling my balls with the other. I tried to push a little bit but Barbie gagged. I guessed she wasn't too skilled at this but hey, everyone starts somewhere. After five minutes she was taking more than half of my length in and doing so hungrily. "I hope you are not close to coming," she mumbled between mouthfuls. "Actually, I'm feeling greedy," I responded. She looked up at me, head still bobbing. "I can sense your pain and feel I should do something about it," I explained. Now she looked confused so I backed up, pulled Barbie up by her waist and kissed her once more. I gracefully walked my hand down her waist and hip to her crotch. With a sharp intake of breath by Barbie, she melted into me and bit my shoulder. Next I spun us around and pushed her back on the bed at the corner, splaying her out for me as her bosom bounced sensually and enticingly. "What's on your mind?" Barbie asked with wide eyes. "I want a taste," I grinned evilly, which only turned her on more. I fell between her outstretched knees. I made eye contact with her as she propped up on her elbows and my hands went to her panty waistband. I grinned, she blushed, and the panties came flying off. Barbie squeaked then slammed a hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. "Use my pillows to prop up your back," I directed Barbie Lynn since she clearly wanted to watch. I maneuvered Barbie into a suitable position so that I was kneeling on the floor with Barbie's silky smooth legs spread to either side. Barbie Lynn was propped up so that she could watch me work. I got the feeling she was used to some level of stimulation, just not from a guy. I could deal with that. "Maybe we shouldn't do this now, or go back to my place where it is safer?" she asked. "I'm too hungry for you right now; your scent is intoxicating," I finished up saying, and then I went in. I didn't rush things because every first time should be special. My right hand traced the line along the sides and rear of Barbie Lynn's thighs. My left hand traced the line over her pubic area to her stomach that finally ended with her left breast. "Hurry," she panted. I knew she had somewhere to be but I was aware she could use some stress relief too. Barbie reached down with a hand to control my left hand and head but I was obeying my instincts. By the time she made up her mind to stop me, I overwhelmed Barbie with a pleasurable, mind warping first orgasm. The noise brought a few students sneaking in to take a peak. Once I had a semblance of control over her, I began a series of actions to excite her whole body. On the second orgasm she wrapped her legs around my head and nearly crushed it. While I lapped up her juices, I decided to follow that up by kissing Barbie and giving her some of her own fluids to taste, a trick new to her. I kept my cock sheathed, though all three of Barbie's holes looked delightful. I figured she wasn't ready yet but I did manage to take off her shirt in the process and fondling and suckling at her magnificent breasts. After the third and fourth orgasms, Barbie passed out, and when she woke up, she whispered to me that she wanted my cock in her mouth and cunt. Purity Pledge? What Purity Pledge? Barbie Lynn confided in me that she'd sucked cock before and thought she was quite good at it, and that a few men had temped her cunt and ass with real penetration but all she had done so far was pleasure herself with toys and with the aid of other (female) students here at school. She was still technically a virgin (no boy parts had penetrated her cunt) but she'd done 'everything else.' Was she or was she not an anal virgin? My money was on virginity. Barbie was pleased that I was going to her church (it was highly popular at the college, she told me), almost as pleased as I was to find her so receptive and hungry for more sex. I told her she needed sexier underwear and that I would gladly go shopping with her for some in case she wanted to model any (yes, I know they don't let you model underwear). While we talked I helped her get dressed, though we couldn't find her panties. We slipped out after that, Barbie to tend to her girls and me to go to my Aunt's. I told her I'd see her tomorrow. Barbie laughed as if she didn't believe me. As I left, I began to appreciate the guy: girl ratio of this place because it was looking very good in my favor. My evening with Jill passed uneventfully; we stayed up late as Jill suddenly realized she was going to be alone for the first time in years so I didn't end up sneaking quietly into my dorm room until well past midnight. The Journey Begins. Day One, It's a What? My first day of college began with a six a.m. wake-up alarm in our room. Both my roommate and I sat up at the same time. We looked at each other and the sheets failed to conceal we apparently both slept shirtless. "Hi. You are a girl," I got off first. "And you are a guy," she replied indignantly. "What are you doing in my room? I mean, why did they give me a female roommate?" I countered. "Ah, are you joking?" she asked incredulously. Clearly I wasn't, and that realization made her grin mischievously. "Where is Glenda?" she inquired next. "Ugh," I sighed. "When I was registered their system misspelled my name. My first name is Glenn, thus the Glenda, but I go by Zane, my middle name. What about you?" "Whoops. I'm Rio Talon and this is going to be wicked," she giggled. "I have to admit I never thought I'd meet someone like you at FFU." "You don't see quite the hardcore fundamentalist/survivalist type either," I responded. "Ha!" she grunted. "You got me. It was either this or three years at a minimum security prison in Arizona," she confessed. She didn't volunteer what she would have done time for and it was really none of my business. "I need to shower," I changed the subject. "I'll go with you," Rio volunteered as she slipped out of bed, and yes, she was naked, and cleverly and artfully shaved with several delicate chevrons pointing down. She also had a black tattoo of the name Lilith going from the right hip along the bikini line, definitely not Church issue. I went to the closet, got a robe, towel, and bathroom kit. Rio brazenly watched me move around. "Body-conscious much?" she chuckled. "Rio, I spent the last two years bathing down at the river with two hundred of my closest neighbors. Trying to cover up gets old really fast," I grinned back at her. "Does my body disgust you?" "'Disgust' isn't the word I was going to use," Rio said as she licked her lips and also got ready for the bathroom. "Now, let's get you shaved before, the bathroom gets flooded with people. By the way," she tossed me Barbie's missing undies, "are these yours?" "Booty from my panty raid; please don't turn me in," I chuckled, as I caught them, then stashed them in my backpack, hopefully to return to Barbie Lynn later. Rio laughed again. As I suspected, not only did I get assigned a female roommate but I was on a female floor, which earned me more than a few shocked looks. Since Rio stuck close to me, she earned her own share of looks, but these were more scornful; Rio ate it up. I still couldn't decide whether I'd miss Rio or not when I got my new room assignment. The two girls in the showers ignored Rio and I when we came in so I was able to shave in peace and get under a steamy shower without the expected shrieks. Only when they dressed in their robes and put on their glasses did things change. Their looks were best expressed as 'a boy saw me naked!' followed by 'A boy saw me naked, ' and ended up with, 'A boy saw me naked and he liked what he saw.' I get hard when the wind blows, anywhere around the globe. They fled in a fit of giggles and I safely exited the bathroom before another girl entered. It was hardly unforeseen that my attire made Rio laugh but when she suggested black horn-rimmed glasses would really complete the nerd-look, I had to laugh too. I noted her regulation skirt appeared to be a bit higher above the knee than was prudent with a pronounced lack of underwear. Rio confessed that her parents tossed all her 'stripper' wear when they shipped her off and she wasn't going to wear the 'granny' panties they had put in place of her G-strings. The trek cross-campus to the Dining Hall would have been more enlightening if Rio had not lured me into an engrossing conversation. Remember now, I had been isolated from mainstream Western pop culture for over two years and had a lot of catching up to do. We grabbed some trays of breakfast; then, at Rio's insistence, we headed outside to eat pretty much by ourselves, or so we hoped. "Professor, inquired this cute brunette with pig tails, dimples, and into pushing her tits in my face; I barely noticed she was backed up by three other girls. "Huh?" I questioned. "Braxton," Rio spoke over me. "Could you tell me, where the, um, Clegger Science Building is, Professor Braxton?" She lied pathetically. My first thoughts were, 'why is she wearing such a thin white blouse two-sizes too small?' and wondering 'when is this thread holding that central button in place going to give up on its hopeless struggle and let her boobs pop out?' Then I became curious why she called me 'professor'. "It is right over there," I said, as I stood up, put my hand on the small of her back, and pointed the way with my other hand. The location of the building was blindingly obvious since this is not a huge campus. If things weren't awkward enough, Ms. Brunette twisted, rubbed her hardening nipples against my chest, and asked, "There?" "No," I corrected by whispering into her ear, causing her to wiggle against me. I took her forearm, lingering my touch on the pulse of her wrist before directing it to the proper angle. "I would walk you there," I added, "but we have to go to the auditorium soon." "Thank you, Professor Braxton." She wiggled a third time. "It is really a pity I don't have any of your classes. What do you teach?" "He's a Biblical Archeologist," Rio interrupted, "specializing in Early Christian Erotic Art and Rituals." I felt Ms. Brunette have a micro-orgasm over that piece of fantastical news. "Are you still taking on students?" Brunette panted to me. Rio jumped up. "Whoops! Look at the time!" exclaimed Rio, "Professor, you have to go, Right Now!" With that, she dragged me away from Ms. Brunette and her girl posse and across campus. "What the hell was that about and why did she call me Professor?" I hissed to Rio as we came to the auditorium for our first assembly. "Oh, it must be some Southern thing, sort of like the English calling men 'Governor'," she lied convincingly. How do I now know she lied? It will become obvious.   I took a seat with Rio amongst the sea of students and it was just my luck that we were surrounded by girls once more. I really wasn't in the mood to have them gawk at me so I slumped down and kept a low profile. The auditorium sounded full-up and there was a magnitude of teachers and such on the stage. When a stately, attractive, yet demanding and stern tall woman with long grey hair worked up in a bun stepped up to the podium, the hall grew silent. First she led us in prayer, which I found odd because normally at this level of fundamentalism, women couldn't lead men in prayer, but I could have cared less. She welcomed the rising seniors first, then worked down the list until she recognized the new class of freshmen, reminding them of their 'Handmaiden Duties,' whatever that was. I looked to Rio who was stifling to suppress some dark glee, undoubtedly at my expense. The Chancellor of FFU worked us through some of what I assumed was normal school crap plus a reminder to review with diligence their code of moral and ethical behaviors and the names of their spiritual guidance counselors in case they felt wickedness overcoming them. Considering the thin white blouses and the short, pleated plaid skirts, yours truly and the other men on campus were going to be scoring like mad, morals and ethics be damned. A closing prayer ended the meeting and we dispersed like good little sheep heading for our first class of the semester. Rio and I both had English Literature but in different rooms so she was kind/sadistic enough to drop me by my room before heading her own way. I walked in and took a middle seat. Once again all the girls looked at me funny when they came in and I couldn't miss the fact that in a classroom size of twenty, we had nineteen girls and only one guy, me. I was mulling this over (I'm actually a smart guy but I admit, I hadn't been showing it too much recently) when our teacher came in. Her name was Ms. Goodswell (no lie) and she was a gorgeous brunette with breasts of greater proportions than Barbie Lynn's, and the rest just got lusher. Ms.  Goodswell leaned against the front of her large wooden writing desk and used her tablet to scroll down the roll call. I was number three. "Braxton," her sugary sweet voice drawled out. "Glenda Braxton." I shifted in my seat. "Here," I said in a clear masculine voice, "but I go by Zane." Ms.  Goodswell looked up over her reading glasses, expecting something other than me. As she looked at me her eyes grew larger, and she looked, and she looked. "What are you wearing?" she asked crisply. "What my Aunt told me was proper school attire, Ms. Goodswell," I replied tentatively. "Proper attire is clearly outlined, white blouse and a pleated blue and gold tartan skirt with white knee sox and black shoes. Men wear pants; women wear skirts," she clarified. I imagine my jaw dropped open at that one. Finally, I stood up so she could get a good look at me. "I'm dressed correctly, then I'm a guy," I insisted. Ms. Goodswell had looked annoyed but now she looked pissed. She strode boldly toward me, heels clicking against the marble floor. "So you insist that you are a man, do you?" she snapped. Before I could do anything but nod she slapped a cupped hand against my crotch. I coughed in pain. I became aroused despite the mild discomfort because I was now gazing down into Ms. Goodswell's ample bosom. Her eyes went from angry to utter shock. "You are a man," she whispered in horror. "What are you doing in my class?" I reached into my book bag and got my schedule, letting her gaze on it. I noticed her hand stayed on my crotch. "Nine a.m., English Lit. 101 in room 204, Denning Hall V. Goodswell," I read out loud. Ms. Goodswell read it over while she massaged my growing shaft; subconsciously or not, I wasn't sure. "Very well," she said decisively. She turned back and returned to the roll. As I sat down I had that creepy feeling that everyone else was staring at me, or more precisely, my Goodswell-inspired hard on. After that little bit of drama the actual class was okay. Ms. Goodswell was pretty bright and made our upcoming journey into the works of a bunch of old dead British guys sound fun. When the bell rang we got up and started to file out but Ms. Goodswell motioned me to wait for the others to leave us alone. It didn't work out that way; the other girls hovered right outside the door. "Okay, Mr. Braxton, what are you trying to prove?" she accused me with some real heat. "Please, Ms. Goodswell, believe me; I haven't a clue what is going on here. I woke up with a girl in my room this morning, I began. "You had a girl in your room this morning? That didn't take you long," she said bitterly. "No, wait; it was my assigned roommate, Rio Talon, and she was on her side of the room. It is okay because they accidently stuck me on a girl's floor in the dorm because there were girls in the showers too," I continued. "Didn't you thing that was a bit odd?" she asked suspiciously. "Not really, ma'am. I've spent the last two years with missionaries in rural Thailand; I'm used to bathing with naked women all the time. Initially, I figured this was some sort of bureaucratic snafu but after doing my own quick census of your class, I think I've missed something crucial," I explained. "Mr. Braxton, Zane, this is an all-girls school; men are not allowed. We can't even employ a man under the age of forty-five," she informed me while studying my expression. While my cock would have done summersaults of joy, my brain was looking at my access to my trust fund going down the toilet. "I apologize. I'm pretty sure my Aunt Jill didn't know and I assure you, I was ignorant of this fact. What do we do now?" I sighed. "I believe you, Mr., .Zane. No one would use this as an excuse after going through all the trouble to sneak in here. For now, you continue to your classes and I'll inform your other instructors of this, extraordinary event. Expect to spend lunch with the Chancellor so that we can extricate you from this situation. Can I rely on you to be good in the interim?" "I'll do my best," I promised. She dismissed me and began using her phone. When I slipped out of the room, my classmates made room enough for me to make my way down the hall. "Zane!" a young female voice called out. I turned around to see Ms. Brunette. "Is it true you are a freshman here?" I was sure she would be pissed for the whole 'Professor' gag Rio had played and I'd unwittingly gone along with. "Yes," I confessed. She'd assumed I was a teacher because I was male and I hadn't corrected her. "Kiss me!" she beamed hungrily. That was not what I expected but I reacted quickly and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. Ms. Brunette looked upset. "You can do better than that," she commanded. Again, not what I expected; I put my book bag down, took hers off her shoulder and placed it next to mine. I started off with a repeat of the last kiss but instead of that being the ending point, I used it as a foundation to build upon. I slowly drew her in; she pulled her arms up between us and cupped my face as I dipped her with enough tongue action to make our steamy embrace a thermographic exploration of lust. We kissed for over a minute before I brought her up and let her go. "Better?" I murmured to her. Ms. Brunette nodded dreamily. As I retrieved my book bag from the floor I realized I was adrift in a sea of lonely young women. I could now empathize with that lost baby seal who found itself surrounded by a pod of killer whales. "Kiss me!" insisted a blonde. "No, me; I was here first." "I'm a senior; I go first," demanded a breathtaking black woman. I didn't know what was going on and I had no idea how to deal with this bizarre situation but all that was taken out of my hands by the next noise I heard. "Get off me, bitch," I heard Rio shout out, followed by a slap and her scream. Rio was hardly my friend, in fact, she had used me for her own personal amusement for the entire time I'd known her, but she was my roommate, an outsider, and I was sure no one else would come to her aid. I shouldered my way in the directions of her screams and sobs, parting the last few girls separating us. Rio was on her stomach on the floor with three girls gathered over her. Closest to me was one with thick, wavy black hair and dark skin who had her foot pushing down on Rio's ass. The second one, who appeared to be the leader, was a black girl with shiny black hair in an intricate weave and was bouncing on Rio's back, yanking her hair back painfully, and was taunting Rio, saying she was supposed to be a good little beast of burden as well as mocking her as a 'felon'. The last tormentor was the only one facing me, though she was preoccupied with holding Rio's arms forward so she couldn't reach back to scratch the ringleader. It wasn't hard for me to figure out what to do. When Weave started bouncing up, I swept the legs out from under the other wavy-haired girl, sending her toppling backwards. I then put a boot to the black girl's ass, propelling her into the spectators on the far side of us. I didn't even bother with girl number three. I grabbed Rio by the arm and yanked her up and swung her behind me. It turned out to be a good choice because when the black girl back-flipped up in one fluid move, she landed in a martial arts fighting stance. I had a fight on my hands, or would have if the bell hadn't rung. As it was, the black girl looked both outraged and shocked when she took in my gender and my counter-stance. A flood of girls suddenly separated us. Rio took the opportunity to grab her book bag, then my hand, and together we bolted to our next class which was, oddly enough, Biblical Archeology but without the procreation parts. Our professor, Mrs. Carradine, treated me a bit coldly but the attention directed my way by the student body was anything but. I had barely pulled out my book when the girl behind me tapped my shoulder and slipped me a note. You will take my book bag to lunch and eat lunch with me. Dove Foster I furrowed my brow and showed the note to Rio who was sitting next to me. She smiled and whispered, "Handmaiden's Duty," in a condescending tone. "Didn't you read your handbook?" Any further conversation was cut short by Mrs. Carradine's blistering glare. For some reason, Buddy Jesus kept me safe from anymore female attention until the class ended and I began to make my way out. I took some comfort that Rio stayed close to my side. My Social Secretary "Zane. Zane Braxton, do you mind if I call you Zane?" babbled a shorter, slender girl with shoulder length black hair and glasses as she grabbed my elbow in a death grip from behind. "You can't ask him to do anything until he steps out of class," Rio cautioned the newcomer. Now I had to decide whether or not I'd be a slave to Dove for an hour because technically she appeared to be in violation of the rules, which I knew no

What happens when you put a university president who's weathered pandemics, launched massive campaigns, and chairs the Bruce Springsteen Archives in a room with great questions? Pure gold. In this episode, I sit down with Patrick Leahy, President of Monmouth University, for one of those conversations that reminds you why leadership stories matter.Patrick takes us through his incredible journey from being the youngest of six kids outside Baltimore to running a $200 million university. We dive into the mentor who changed everything by pushing him to apply to Georgetown (spoiler: he thought he'd never get in), the poetry class with the university president that shifted his entire career path, and those messy years when he tried business and finance before finding his true calling in higher education.But here's where it gets really interesting. Patrick shares what it was actually like stepping into the president's role just months before the pandemic hit, how he kept an entire campus community connected through weekly Zoom calls that people still don't want him to stop and the bold moves he's made to position Monmouth for the future. We're talking about partnerships with Hackensack Meridian for healthcare programs, building out film and TV production right as Netflix constructs their massive studio two miles away, and chairing the Bruce Springsteen Archives and Center for American Music.The conversation gets into the real stuff too. How AI is going to reshape education, why being someone others want to work with might be the most critical skill you can develop, and what it means to lead through uncertainty while staying true to your values. Patrick's energy is infectious when he discusses servant leadership, the importance of asking better questions, and how every twist in your career path ultimately serves you later.Patrick's story reminds us that the most successful leaders aren't those who follow predetermined paths, but those who remain open to possibility and aren't afraid to bet on themselves and others. It's a conversation that will leave you thinking differently about what's possible when you combine authentic leadership with strategic vision and the courage to act on both.00:00 – Welcome & Introduction 01:00 – Childhood & Early Leadership 05:45 – The Georgetown Pivot 10:30 – From Business to English Lit 14:00 – The Nonlinear Journey to Education 20:45 – First Presidency at Wilkes 26:30 – Leading Through a Pandemic 32:00 – Vision for Monmouth 37:00 – Netflix, Sports & Strategic Growth 41:30 – The Role of AI in Higher Ed 48:30 – Emotional Intelligence & Employability 50:00 – The Springsteen Archives 55:00 – Closing ReflectionsPatrick on Socials: IG: monmouthuniversity X: @PatrickFLeahy LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-patrick-f-leahy-ab873620 Youtube: @monmouthuniversity⁩Jon on Socials: IG: @thejonschultzpodcast X: @JonSchultzPod LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-jon-schultz-podcast www.jonschultz.com

Moby Dick by Herman Melville is Tom's pick for this episode, and let's just say… the whale wasn't the only one dragging. Tony hadn't read it since his English Lit days and didn't make it to the end this time, while Tom powered through on deadline. The result? Probably not our most polished review, but a fun and honest one nonetheless. Join us as we harpoon what we can from this literary leviathan.TTYpodcast.comThumbingthroughyesterday.com

The Tragically Hip Top Forty Countdown: Song 19 – Jeff from BellevilleWelcome back, Hip faithful. This week on the Countdown, I'm joined by one of our most beloved Sunday Evening Jam regulars — the witty, wise, and wonderfully loquacious Jeff from Belleville. You know him. You love him. And if you've ever caught a live stream where he was in the comments, you've probably laughed out loud.But today? Today, we go deeper.Jeff takes us back to his teenage years, up in a century-old Belleville coach house where Road Apples first took hold and never let go. From bootleg tapes and roadside attractions to mosh pits, surprise shows, and backstage encounters — Jeff's Hipstory spans 31 shows and countless life moments tied to the soundtrack of this band.Along the way, we talk memory, meaning, and mortality — including the two cardiac arrests Jeff survived (yes, you read that right), and the unexpected video message he received from Paul Langlois while recovering. This episode reminds us why we do this show in the first place: for the love, for the connection, for the community.We even get a bonus English Lit breakdown of King Lear — and how defiance, irony, and Shakespearean tragedy might be woven into one of the Hip's most poetic tracks. (And yeah, we manage to keep the actual title of that track on the DL. You're welcome.)

The Tragically Hip Top Forty Countdown: Song 20 — Neil from Arroyo GrandeHey, it's jD, and this week I'm joined by a die-hard hockey fan and Hip convert who hails from California. Meet Neil from Arroyo Grande, the west coast wizard of late-night YouTube rabbit holes and deep-cut reverence.Neil didn't grow up with The Hip in his backyard. He had to find them — through hockey, through Trailer Park Boys, through a fascination with Canadian culture that led him down a road paved with Gretzky, Jericho, and yes… Gord.We talk about getting into the band via Yer Favourites, chasing context across albums and eras, and how discovering The Hip opened the door to new perspectives on art, identity, and memory. He shares what it's like being an American Hip fan (“Wait, they're not on the radio here?”), and how Phantom Power, Man Machine Poem, and some Gordon Edgar Downie solo magic helped him through hard times — and made the music his own.From WWE finishers to vapor trails to songs that hit like Shakespearean tragedy, this one's for the late bloomers, the lyric heads, and anyone who ever found themselves singing along to a song they didn't fully understand… until they really did.

In this episode Ali is joined by Deane Juhan, renowned author of 'Job's Body: A Handbook for Bodywork.' Deane shares his experiences from the Esalen Institute and his transformative work with Dr. Milton Trager. The discussion delves into somatic intelligence, the phenomenon, necessity and benefits of touch. Deane also shares personal anecdotes from his journey, emphasizing the importance of sensual awareness, pleasure to help us re-pattern detriment habits, and the interplay between sensory motor and emotional intelligence. This episode is a treasure trove of insight on bodywork, a holistic approach to somatic health and living our lives as bodies.FOR MORE ALI MEZEY:ALI - WebsiteALI - LinkTreeFOR MORE DEANE JUHAN:www.jobsbody.comDeanejuhan@gmail.com BIO:1971-1974: Studying for my Ph.D. in English Lit.1974: Esalen Institute radically changed the course and purpose of my life. On the Esalen Massage Crew for 15 years. During that time I met Dr. Milton Trager, saw his work and became one of his first students. HIs mentoring was another transformational experience. From student I went on to become a certified practitioner and finally instructor1978-1987: Wrote "Job's Body: A Handbook for Bodywork"Spent the last 40 years teaching Dr. Trager's work, my material from Job's Body, developing classes for innovative views of functional anatomy, sensory-motor nervous system and thee physiology of touch. I believe that the disembodied nature of our cultural heritage is one of the most serious threats to our survival.DEANE'S BOOKS: OTHER RESOURCES, LINKS AND INSPIRATIONS: Esalen Institute  The Body Has a Mind of Its Own by Sandra & Matthew BlakesleeHarlow's Monkeys - Harlow's Studies on Dependency in MonkeysWilliam Blake and his poem, London wherein he writes the term Mind Forged ManaclesRolfer/ing - A "Rolfer" is a practitioner who performs Rolfing, a hands-on bodywork method developed by Dr. Ida Rolf in the 1950s. Rolfing aims to improve body structure, posture, and movement by addressing the connective tissues, known as fascia, that permeate the body. Rolfers work with the fascia to realign the body and address patterns of tension and restriction that can impact health and well-being. Dr. Milton TragerThe Milton System of Mental Gymnastics refers informally to the Trager Approach, specifically the movement component developed by Dr. Milton Trager, called Mentastics - short for mental gymnastics.What Is It? Mentastics are gentle, mindful movements designed to retrain the nervous system through positive sensory experience. These movements are not exercises in the traditional fitness sense - they are subtle, intuitive, and exploratory. The goal is to create a feeling of lightness, ease, and freedom in the body, often through very simple gestures done with full awareness and intention.Bob Brown, Soma School of Massage - has long since closed but was one of the most formative experiences in Ali's professional development. She attended in 1980 and became a certified professional massage therapist at 19 years old while taking what is now called a "gap year" between Barnard and Wellesley. 45 years later, Ali still offers part-time her Propriomassage® she has developed over the decades. Although evolved, refined and mastered since those pivotal weeks with Bob in his Oakland Hills house where he certified thousands of massage therapists, the fundamental structure of Ali's technique is still what she learned there. Ozone Injections - if you have suffered from any injuries you have not been able to resolve, or just want to improve your health in. variety of ways, make a B-line to Dr Nancy Doreo in Ojai, California. She will change your body and life as she did Ali's. Gil Hedley - About, Live with Gil, The Nerve TourThe Body is a Gift with Gil Hedley: A Reverential Journey into the Human BodyTanya Diamond - Love, Pleasure and AI[From time to time, a word or phrase goes wonky. Please forgive my wandering wifi.]

Why is there no user manual to run your house? Are the critical thinking skills you learn as an English literature major valuable in your work and personal life? How did Katie never study in college and become an auditory learner? What about the auditory learning skill set that Katie picked up in college lead to a career in tech? How did a summer job in Manhattan between high school and college lead to an interest in business? Why was developing a streamlined implementation process for a hospital back office software company so critical for sales success? How did promotions from customer sales lead to company executive leadership with golden handcuffs? Why are key man life insurance policies so essential for businesses to have in place for CEOs? How did a home ownership maintenance nightmare on her first property lead Katie to found and build Yarlow? Why is digital storage for home-related items and expenses so important for homeowners? What classic first-time entrepreneur mistake did Katie make when building the initial MVP for Yarlow? How is the trend of PE firms buying up home service profession businesses impacting the service upsell of unneeded services? Where is Yarlow integrating AI into the platform? How is regional customization important for homeowner maintenance and recommendations? Why was it important for Katie that Yarlow be a free app for homeowners?Katie Shahan - CEO and founder of Yarlow, joins Proptech Espresso to answer these questions and discuss how a group of college classmates who she did not know convinced her she needed to become an English Lit major.

"My name is Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, and I will NOT be afraid." If that quote from Sarah J. Maas' "Throne of Glass" series gives you full-body chills, then you've come to the right place. Hi! We're Book Talk for BookTok with Jac and Amy, a literary podcast where we take the romantasy books you love seriously.  We use our academic background to provide an in-depth literary analysis on Sarah J. Maas' debut novel "Throne of Glass." It's just like we're back in English Lit class, but with more jokes. So tune in every Tuesday and Thursday to get your dose of "Throne of Glass" with your book besties.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Room and Bored: Part 1 College student Dale is attracted to his landlady. Based on a post by Krosis, in 5 parts. Listen to the ►  Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dale woke up to the sound of a woman crying. The 19-year-old pulled on a robe and headed up the stairs, out of his basement suite and into the house proper. He quickly zeroed in on the source of the crying, the shadowy form of his landlady sitting on the living room couch, her head in her hands. "Nancy?" he called out softly to her, trying not to startle her. "Oh!" she whirled. "Dale! Did I wake you? I'm so sorry!" Dale stopped as he spied the curve of the older woman's bountiful cleavage peeking out from her robe as she turned toward him. It was a struggle, but he brought his gaze up to meet her beautiful brown eyes. "It's okay, are you alright?" he asked her. She wiped tears from her gorgeous face, framed by her thick, shoulder-length auburn hair. "I've, been better. It's nothing for you to worry about, okay? I'll keep it down." "Okay, " Dale retreated back to the door leading to the basement as she gave a final sniff and stood up from the couch, the street light streaming in through the window framing her figure for a moment. He gulped as he saw the silhouette of her shapely bare legs under her short robe. "Good nite," he called out to her. "Sweet dreams," she replied. Back in his bed, Dale thought about Nancy. She wasn't his aunt, but close, she was actually the younger sister of his mother's best friend growing up. She had even babysat him a few times before she left home. When Dale informed his parents that he was going to state college, his mother called Nancy, who she knew actually lived near the campus. After some catching up and finagling about money, Dale was set up in Nancy and her husband's furnished basement suite. When he met Nancy again as he moved in, he was taken aback at how sexy the now thirtysomething woman was. She had left town when he was just 6, so he barely remembered her, but she remembered him, and welcomed him like a surrogate mother. His face had reddened from the feel of her curvaceous body hugging him, and then he had made the acquaintance of Michael, Nancy's husband. The man, a little older than Nancy, was about Dale's height, a bit overweight, with dark hair and a trimmed beard. He seemed friendly enough. Dale had settled into the spacious bedroom suite, and his landlords frequently invited him to join them for meals, allowing the grateful college student to save money that he would normally have spent on fast food. A few weeks had passed since he had moved in, and he was getting comfortable in his new normal. Dale wished Nancy would hug him again. He thought about her warm, curvy body, barely hidden in her robe, pressed against him, the heady smell of her floral perfume setting his libido on fire, and he stroked himself to orgasm. Sleep came easily after that. Sweet dreams indeed, he thought.   "Hey, Dale, right?" Dale looked up. Standing next to his table was a cute, smiling girl his age, with shoulder-length platinum blonde hair, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that were a little bit too large for her average frame. "Um, yeah, do I know you?" He looked around the campus cafeteria, wondering if someone was playing a prank on him. Cute girls didn't normally just walk up and start conversations with him. She tucked some of her hair behind one ear. "Oh! Um, yeah, I'm Melanie, we went to high school together." At his blank look, she continued, "We had like three classes together last year, I sat behind you in English?" Dale struggled to remember her. A zitty, overweight dishwater blonde girl with glasses had sat behind him in that class, "Um, um, I lost some weight, got my eyes lasered, and colored my hair." She looked really uncomfortable now. "Oh!" he said, realizing. "I'm sorry, yeah, you should probably have led with that." Her skin had also cleared up, he noted. "Uh, how are you?" Her smile back on her face, she sat next to him. "Doing good! Did you take English Lit this semester? Your story projects in class were always interesting." His face flushed. "Really? Thanks. Yeah, English Lit, Creative Writing, all those, hopefully I'll make a living as a writer one day." "Oh, that's awesome! I'm sure you'll do well," she gushed. "I remember that ghost story you told the class, gave me frickin' nightmares for days! Um, I'm in the nurse program, so our classes don't overlap." "Huh." "Yeah." The conversation had stalled spectacularly, and she looked uncomfortable again. "I, guess I'll see you around?" She got to her feet, gave him a brief, uncomfortable smile, and shuffled away. "Sure," he called after her with a wave. A few minutes later, he got a notification through his phone that Melanie wanted to be his friend. Shrugging, he approved it. Can't have too many friends, he figured.   "I'll be working over in Greenville for a few weeks, to keep an eye on the contractors," Michael told Nancy and Dale at dinner that night. "They're putting me up in a hotel for the duration so I don't have to get stuck in traffic for hours going back and forth." Nancy stopped with her fork halfway to her mouth. "Oh," she said, "when does that start?" "Monday." It was Friday night.   That night, Dale was again woken up by Nancy's sobbing, and he donned his robe and headed up. "Will you tell me what's wrong?" he asked as he sat next to her on the couch. She looked at him with red but still beautiful eyes. "Your Mom is really lucky, Dale, to have a son who's so smart, kind, hand--" She stopped and dropped her eyes to her lap. "Um, handy." He quirked her a smile. "Handy? Do you need me to fix a cabinet, or plug a leak?" She gasped, and he realized how lewd that last suggestion could be interpreted. "Um, I mean, " "It's okay, Dale," she said, and put her hand on his shoulder. "You're such a good boy." Dale was very aware that a sexy older woman was touching him. He was determined not to make a big deal about it. He also didn't want her to take her hand away. She paused for a moment before she gave his shoulder a squeeze and stood up from the couch. He stood up as well, an automatic reflex his father had drilled into him, and she impulsively pulled him into a hug. "Thank you for checking on me," she breathed into his ear. He nodded, his hands moving to circle around her, but then she pulled away and headed back to her bed. Dale found himself standing there with his hard-on tenting out his robe, and wondered how long it had been like that. He hoped that Nancy hadn't seen it! He went back to his own bed to take care of the awoken beast, this time being able to vividly recall Nancy's scent and the feel of her shapely body pressed against him, as it had just happened. Soon, his cum shot up and splashed back down upon his chest.   Dale's Saturday was taken up entirely by homework assignments. Taking a break, he posted a limerick to his friend feed: This homework brings me no joy, My brain it tries to destroy, I've come here to say, All work and no play, Makes Dale a very dull boy. Then he got back to work. Within a few minutes he got a notification that Melanie had commented, and grimaced as she once again gushed at his talent with words. Well, it was nice to be appreciated, he decided, and gave her comment a thumbs-up. That night, after dinner, he was up late finishing his English Lit paper and headed upstairs to get some cold water from the fridge. He could have poured himself some from his bathroom faucet, but he had been spoiled by his hosts' water filter. As he entered the living room, the kitchen light came on and he heard a light footfall on the adjoining room's stone floor. Nancy! He was about to call out to her when he saw that she was only wearing a short, sheer nightie instead of her robe. He froze instead, knowing that she would be very embarrassed to be caught by her renter in just her negligee! She opened the fridge, bent over, and rummaged through the fridge, giving Dale a fantastic view of her rounded ass, barely covered by pink bikini-style panties. His mouth went dry and he stepped back around the corner so that she wouldn't see him if she turned, though he made sure that he still had a good view of her sexy body. She pulled something out of a drawer and headed to the sink. He pulled back a bit more into the shadows of the living room as she washed, he craned his neck to see, a zucchini? He was confused, and even more so when she held the vegetable to her chest with a sigh. She didn't go to the cutting board, nor pull out a pan to cook the gourd. Why was she, ? Then she moved the vegetable down, between her legs. He gasped. No, she wouldn't, "Hello?" she called out, turning. Dale pulled back and rushed as fast and as quietly as he could across the dark, carpeted living room back to his basement door, slipping through it and down the stairs. He had to leave the door slightly ajar, realizing that the sound of it closing would clue her in on his voyeurism, unintentional as it had started. Safely back in his suite, he let his breath go; he hadn't even realized that he'd been holding it. His cock was incredibly hard, thinking about Nancy warming that thick vegetable up between her bountiful tits before using it to pleasure herself. He grabbed his tissue box and furiously whacked off, moaning and cumming into some tissues after less than 30 seconds. Feeling tired post-orgasm, Dale quickly brushed his teeth and went to bed.   Dale slept in on Sunday and then played some video games. Nancy and Michael went out for dinner, so he ordered in. He actually felt a bit disappointed that Nancy didn't come downstairs that night, but was also glad that she wasn't sad enough to do so.   On Monday, after breakfast, Michael gave Nancy a kiss and left on his extended assignment. Dale suspected that Nancy's husband was the cause of her tears, so he wasn't going to miss him. Melanie joined Dale for lunch, the platinum blonde eating her salad and talking about how she was always hungry since losing the weight. "But it's totally worth it, right, Dale?" She lifted her arms up and thrust out her chest. Dale noticed that she was wearing a more form-fitting top that day, which showed off her new hourglass figure, and he nodded, though he noted that her 19-year-old curves had nothing on Nancy's.   That night, after playing some video games, Dale noted that the light upstairs was still on and went up. The living room was lit up but nobody seemed to be there. He went to turn the light off, but then noticed Nancy sleeping on the couch. He also saw that her gown had opened, showing off one gorgeous, naked tit and the inner thigh of one shapely leg. He froze and stared. After a few seconds he shifted closer, making sure not to make any noise as he leaned over to examine that glorious boob. It was round, firm-looking, with a darker pink areola surrounding a poky nipple, probably hard from the cool night air. His eyes shifted down to the thigh of her smooth-shaven legs, the ivory whiteness of her skin enticing him. He felt his hard cock pressing insistently into the restrictive fabric of his jeans. "Nancy?" he whispered softly. He was taking a chance, if she woke up, then she would get upset about her state of undress, but he wanted to get closer, so he had to make sure that she was soundly asleep. After no response, he spoke her name louder, still nothing. Finally, he took a breath and spoke aloud, "Nancy," and waited, holding his breath. She continued to sleep. Emboldened, Dale knelt down beside her to examine that amazing tit. This close, he could make out small bumps in her areola around the nipple, and the slight depression in the middle of the prominence. That's where milk would come out, he told himself, and his cock gave a twitch of acknowledgment. He wanted to suck on that wonderful looking mammary, but with her asleep, that felt wrong to him. Plus, if he touched her and she woke up, he would be in real trouble. He moved his face further down her body to her thighs. Keeping his eyes on her face, he very carefully lifted her robe aside to reveal her panties. That night she had worn translucent black mesh ones that hinted at her trimmed pussy hair. This close, he breathed in her musky aroma. He had heard that pussy smelled like fish, but this was nothing like that. His cock was actually starting to hurt. He raised himself back up, considered for a few seconds as he continued gazing down upon Nancy's half-naked form, and then unzipped, allowing his erection to breathe. He stepped back a bit, which would allow him to quickly sidestep around the couch if Nancy started to wake up, and started to slowly wank, the scent of her pussy fresh in his mind. He imagined himself taking that glorious boob into his mouth and suckling on it as she jacked him off. Then she would pull those panties down and open her legs, inviting him to thrust his virgin cock inside her sexy, mature body. He squinted his eyes between her legs. He could just about make out her engorged vaginal lips through the sheer fabric, he was going to cum soon, "You need help with that?" His eyes flicked back to her face. She was awake and smiling at him. Here's How Nancy Saw It. Three days previous, on Friday night, Nancy was very upset again, but Dale had heard her crying and came upstairs to comfort her. Bless him! she thought. If only she could have a son like him, so caring. As they sat on the living room couch, he accidentally made a double entendre about fixing a leak and got embarrassed. She put her hand on his shoulder, a safe expression of her unfulfilled need for loving physical contact. "It's okay, Dale, you're such a good boy." Then she looked down and saw the tent of his erection through his robe. Her brain cross-wired, her affection for the boy she had babysat years ago getting mixed up with the sexy, masculine form of the young man who was sitting so close to her, their robes the only things separating them, She realized that she had started to squeeze his shoulder, and rose to her feet, her face flushed. Dale rose, too, like a true gentleman, and she impulsively pulled him into a hug. She was very aware of his hard penis, so close to her vagina now, "Thank you for checking on me," she breathed into his ear. Her body felt overheated, and she quickly broke the hug and headed back to her bedroom. Her husband Michael was asleep, of course. She thought about trying to wake him up for sex, but he tended to get upset if his sleep was interrupted. She lay there next to him, feeling incredibly alone. Finally, she fell asleep as well.   Saturday night, Again there was no nookie with Michael at bedtime, and he was going away for several weeks on Monday! The way he was acting, Nancy wondered if he was even going to miss her. Then she thought about that nicely-shaped zucchini that she had bought just the other day, waiting for her in the fridge. Michael didn't allow her to buy sex toys, saying that he should be enough for her, but the gourd's phallic shape had attracted her eye. It was a vegetable, not a dildo, so she decided that it didn't count. She was still dressed in the sexy nightie that she had worn when she had tried and failed to entice her husband, so she figured that she was dressed well enough. Her robe remained on the back of the door as she headed down to the kitchen. She grabbed the cold vegetable, ran it under some water, and then held the fridge-cold gourd to her chest to warm it up. Soon, she became impatient and moved it down between her legs, There was a phantom sound, as if of a small intake of breath, and she turned toward the darkness of the living room. "Hello?" Had her husband woke up? she wondered. She headed into that room, but found it empty. She was about to turn back when she saw light from Dale's basement suite through its slightly open door. Had Dale seen her in her nightie? she wondered. She headed to the door. "Huh huh huh, " Nancy frowned. Was the young man exercising at this time of night? She paused for a moment, but then opened the door a bit. As she leaned over to peer down the stairs into the basement suite, she saw Dale standing there, cock in hand, pleasuring himself. Her eyes fixed onto his erection. It was thicker than she imagined, she figured more than 7 inches, and his fingers flew along the shaft. Then he grabbed a couple tissues from a nearby box and, grunting and gasping, blew his load into them. Such a waste, she thought. She pulled back and returned the door to its almost closed position before she went over to the living room couch. She realized that this was where she had her first inkling of the size of Dale's package as it pushed out his robe. The zucchini was warm now. She lay down, pulled her panties aside, and thrust that gourd deep inside her very wet pussy. Thinking about Dale's hard cock, so fresh in her memory, she came quickly.   On Sunday night, she convinced her husband to finally pay some attention to her. They weren't going to see each other for weeks, she cajoled him. He relented, and they went out to the local pub for wings and some drinks. When they got back, both were tipsy. Nancy pulled Michael into their bedroom and began undressing him. "Nancy, I don't think we should; oh, okay, that feels good, " he moaned. She had pulled his 6" cock out and started sucking on it, a part of her mind noting that her husband wasn't as long as the young man in their basement. She took half of his member, sucked, pulled back, and then moved forward to take most of the rest of him. "Oh, Nancy, " He began to thrust his hips into her face. After another minute or so of fellating her husband, she pushed him back onto the bed and quickly removed her dress. In an instant, she was upon him. Growling, she angled his hard cock up and slid her wet pussy down onto it. "Yes, " she hissed in pleasure. She was so lubricated that he bottomed out in her on the next thrust. "Yes, yes, yes, " she moaned as she rode him hard. "Wait, hun, I, oh, shit, " Michael thrust up into her and she felt the warm liquidity of his cum shooting inside her. "No, " she moaned as she switched to grinding upon him, trying to get enough stimulation on her clit to orgasm herself. Finally, she felt his member shrink inside her until she could derive no more pleasure from it, and lay down upon him, frustrated. "Sorry," he offered, "I guess it's been a while." 'It's been a while,' not, 'You were just too sexy,' which had been his excuse for cumming quickly when their relationship was still fresh and exciting. She was unable to get him hard again, and so they got ready for sleep. She dreamt of a faceless man on top of her, thrusting his bigger-than-average cock inside her fertile body, bringing her to the edge of ecstasy. Then he leaned forward and she could see Dale staring down at her, his expression a mixture of pleasure and adoration. She started awake and moaned. Even in her dreams, she was denied her orgasm. She was too tired to go downstairs and grab the zucchini again, and so she returned to a fitful sleep.   After breakfast on Monday, Nancy kissed her husband goodbye. Dale quickly headed out for his classes, and she was left all alone. She was tempted to go for the zucchini, but had to prepare for her Gourmand party. An hour later, housewives from the neighborhood gathered to find out about the latest ingenious kitchen gadgets, interesting spice combinations, and savory soup mixes. A couple hours later, after most everyone left, she was writing up the orders when her friend Trish sashayed over. "So how's it going with the new renter?" the tall blonde asked. "Dale? Oh, he's fine, um, I mean it's going fine." Nancy's face reddened. Trish sat at the table across from her and crossed her capri-clad legs. "He Is fine, isn't he? I mean, he isn't a hard body, but youth is its own attraction, isn't it? Once men start getting close to forty, things start getting, droopy." She gave a moue of disappointment. Nancy silently agreed, thinking of Michael's expanding gut. Then she had a moment of concern, Trish had been ogling Dale? She told herself that she was being protective, but wondered if it was something else, something more primal. She shook her head. "Oh, Trish! Did you get tired of that last 'handyman'?" Her friend gave her a toothy grin. "I think I ruined that boy for other women, but he graduated college and is off to wherever now, Texas, I think? God, could he get it up, over and over again. If I wasn't fixed, he'd have knocked me up with a whole litter of rug rats." She sighed, staring into space. Nancy pointedly kept filling out the Gourmand forms. Trish came back to the present. "Oh, speaking of which, how's it going with Michael for baby number one?" Nancy's pen slipped and she had to scratch out her mistake. "We're still trying," she replied noncommittally. "Been a while, huh? What?" Trish counted on her fingers. "Hm, almost a year now? You sure ol' Michael's not shooting blanks?" Nancy slammed her pen down. "Maybe that's none of your business, Trish?" The tall, leggy blonde got up, looking uncomfortable. "Oh, shit, Nance, I'm sorry." Then she hugged her friend around her shoulders. "Forget I said anything, huh?" Nancy nodded, feeling the tears about to start again. Trish broke off the hug and headed for the door. "But don't forget to tell Dale I could use his help around my property! College students need all the extra cash they can get, right?" Nancy waved and thought about it. Dale and that man-eater? She definitely didn't like the thought of that.   When Dale got home, Nancy couldn't get the vision of the young man pleasuring himself out of her head. Had he seen her in her nightie, the sight of her body enough to inspire that level of excitement? Finally, she texted him that she was going out for dinner, and that he would have to fend for himself. When she got back, she realized that she had drunk a little too much again. She had dressed in tight jeans and a nice blouse that showed off her midriff, and several men at the pub had bought her drinks, though of course she only accepted the ones that came straight from the bartender or server. She had never had a Long Island Iced Tea before, and it was now her new favorite, but boy did they go down easy. When bedtime came, she felt alone in her empty marital bed. Come to think of it, she thought, it felt empty even when her husband was there, snoring away beside her. She threw off the covers, donned her robe, and headed down to the living room. She could see Dale's light was on under his door, but she dared not knock on it for fear of what she might do in her current state. She flicked on the light switch and sat down on the couch. Maybe some TV? she thought. Then she heard Dale coming up the basement steps, and what she did next would change their relationship forever. She dropped to the side, laying across the cushions of the couch as if she had fallen asleep there. She told herself that maybe he wouldn't see her lying there, but part of her hoped that he would, and then, ? She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. She heard the slight shuff of Dale's steps approaching on the carpet and then realized that when she laid down, her robe had opened up around her chest and thighs, but it was too late to fix that, she knew he was there now, looking at her. She kept her eyes closed, pretending to sleep. He was silent. She really wanted to peek, but with the light on, he would notice, wouldn't he? She wanted to hold her breath to hear any sound he made, but knew that she had to keep her breathing soft and even. She heard him shuffle closer. Was he looking at her bare boob? "Nancy?" he whispered softly. She continued to breathe, in, out, "Nancy?" This one was a loud whisper. "Nancy." Not a question; it sounded like he was calling her out. Did he know that she was faking? In for a penny, in for a pound, as her grandmother used to say; she kept her eyes closed. She didn't hear him move, but a shadow fell across her face. She was pretty sure that he had leaned over her, examining her half-naked body. Would he find it disgusting, like her husband? she wondered. Then her face was no longer in shadow. A moment later, she felt the fabric of her robe slipping off of her thighs and hips. He was undressing her! How dare he? She almost sat up to give him a piece of her mind, but the excitement of the forbidden situation made her giddy. He hadn't actually touched her (yet!), just moved her robe. She decided that she would wait to see what would happen. She heard the zipper of his jeans opening, and felt her heart rate increase, the blood rushing through her overheated body. Was he, ? She cracked one eyelid, just a little, making sure to keep her body perfectly still. Dale was standing at the side of the couch, his eyes firmly fixed between her legs. His turgid erection was in his hands, pointed right at her as he quietly wanked himself. She didn't even think. Her mouth was dry, and needed some, liquid. "You need help with that?" she asked as she lifted her head to regard him, smiling. His eyes flicked back to her face. "Uh!" She saw, as if in slow motion, his cock shoot a mighty spurt of semen at her. A moment later, she felt the hot cum splash against the fabric of her sheer panties. "Uh!" A second, smaller blast hit her exposed tit. "Uh!" That one hit her upper thigh. She stared at Dale, his eyes wide in horror at the realization of what he had just done. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He ran for the basement suite door, his jostling member flicking the last drops of his cum everywhere as he went. The Aftermath of a devastating Embarrassment. Nancy lay on the couch, her mind awhirl. Her 19-year-old renter, Dale, had found her there, seemingly asleep, and had pulled out his cock to masturbate while watching her half-naked body. But she had been faking, and when she playfully asked him if he needed some help, he had cum all over her and then ran away back to his basement suite! Her mind in a tipsy, unreal state, she crooked a finger and extracted some of his semen from her tit. The pearlescent substance was still warm. Her mind was teetering between horror and excitement, sticking with a safe curiosity while it decided which way to fall. She rubbed her thumb and forefinger together, feeling the viscosity of the boy's forbidden fluid between them. Her pussy was so wet, Then she remembered that Dale's first shot of cum had hit right between her legs, and she sat up to survey "the damage". She gasped when she saw the white stain right on her panty-covered pussy mound, surrounded by a darker stain where his semen had already soaked into the mesh of the undergarment. He couldn't have aimed that better if he had tried! No wonder her puss felt wet; it had been soaked by hot teenage cum! Emergency, excitement, coursing through her. She wasn't on the pill, of course, as she and Michael had been trying for the last year to conceive a child, and there was so much cum soaking into her pussy through the fabric of her panties, why was she just staring at it? She reached down, pulled the front of her panties away from her crotch, and felt her skin cool as Dale's liquid love dried against it. She saw that her vulva was engorged, her vaginal lips open and receptive, she could see that the first spurt of the boy's glistening semen had glazed everything down there, and she was certain that some had actually slipped inside. With that thought, her teetering mind lurched to one side. It was too late to stop this, Dale's sperm was already inside her, she was so horny, she brought her finger down and touched her prominent clitoris, gasping at how sensitive it was. Gotta cum, she told herself, gotta cum, She dipped that finger, still coated with the cum from her tit, between her pussy lips while the fingers of her other hand manipulated her clit. A few seconds later, she arched her back in orgasm as her needy pussy sucked all the sperm off of that finger. "God, " she moaned. The orgasm that she had been denied since the previous night rushed through her, making her curvy body shake in pleasure. Finally, she flopped back down to the cushions, breathing heavily. No longer overwhelmed by the situation, her mind quickly went to work. Everything was fine, as her period was actually due in a few days; there was no chance that she could get pregnant at that time. "Oh, thank God," she sighed, relieved. She grabbed some paper towels and wiped away the rest of Dale's semen from her tit and thigh, though she kept her moist panties on. She rather liked the naughty thought of his sperm pressing into her pudendum, struggling uselessly to fulfill their genetic imperative. Then she re-tied her robe and knocked on Dale's door. There was no answer. She opened it and called down, "Dale?" She heard sniffling, and headed down the stairs. She found him in bed, buried under the covers and crying. "Oh, Dale, " She sat on the bed and put her hand on his trembling form. At her touch, he stilled. She kept her hand there on his shoulder, and a few seconds later he poked his head out. "I'm So sorry!" he blubbered, "I, you were just there, so beautiful, and, and I just, " Her face reddened. "You think I'm beautiful?" He looked at her, distracted from his remorse. "Yeah! You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met!" Then his face dropped. "And then I did, that! Oh God, " She took his face in her hands. "Dale, stop." He paused and blinked at her. Assured that she had his full attention now, she continued, "What you did, while really not acceptable, was because you're a hot-blooded teenager. Did you know that the rational part of the male brain doesn't even fully develop until you're, like, 25?" He continued to blink at her. "Really?" "Yeah, google it," she responded. "So I can forgive a one-time mistake, especially since there was no harm done." "Really?" he repeated, hope shining in his eyes. "But I came, all over you, " She blushed and let go of his face. "It's okay. I shouldn't have been half-naked on the couch, so we'll call this a mulligan, to use a golf term, which means you get another shot. Can we just forget this happened?" She held out her hand. He threw the covers off so that he could give it a shake. "Oh, thank you, Nancy, thank you, " She stood up. "Tomorrow's a new day, sweet dreams." Then she headed back to her bedroom. As she hung up her robe, she considered changing into fresh panties, but found that she was horny again from the feeling of Dale's slick cum being absorbed into her skin and between her vaginal lips. She climbed under the covers and then slipped her hand into her panties. She was still very wet, and not only from Dale's semen, she realized. Two fingers pressed between her folds as her other hand massaged one substantial tit. Her boobs were starting to feel sensitive from her oncoming period, so she made sure to be gentle with them. Soon she was pushing three fingers inside herself, which was a little difficult but felt really good. She considered for a moment and then pulled them out. Rubbing those fingers all around her pussy and pubic hair, she gathered the last few drops of Dale's semen and then slid those inside her, ramming her fingers home until she came again at the thrill of pushing more of the handsome boy's forbidden seed inside her. As she fell asleep, she told herself that this was a one-time thing. She woke to the feel of being fucked. Dale was above her, his face blissful, beatific as he gazed down at her with love. She looked at his slim form, at his above-average cock playing peekaboo from inside her pussy as it sawed in and out. "Dale, why, ?" "I love you," Dale replied. "I love you, " She was already nearing another orgasm. "Oh, Dale, we shouldn't." She tried to recall, wasn't she between periods right then, the most dangerous time, or was it safe? It felt hard to think straight. "Oh," Dale moaned as he thrust harder and faster. "Oh," Nancy knew that she had to get him off of her, or she might be carrying his baby instead of her husband's in nine months! At that thought, though, her own orgasm exploded from deep inside her as his cock angled just right and skidded along her G-spot. "Oh! Dale! No!" But her overheated body betrayed her, and she reflexively wrapped her arms and legs about him, making it so that he couldn't have pulled out if he wanted. "No, " she moaned as her body shook, her fertile pussy rippling around his primed cock. "Don't, " "Uh!" Dale grunted and thrust deep inside her. She felt his dangerous cock throb as his first blast of dangerous, sperm-filled cum penetrated her innermost depths. "Oh!" she cried out as her pleasure ramped up upon feeling her ripe body being inseminated. Then she woke up orgasming, her fingers thrusting into her pussy. "Uh! Uh! Oh!" Dale wasn't there. She was both relieved and disappointed. While Dale's sperm would be unsuccessful in their genetic mission due to Nancy's upcoming period, the seed that had been planted in her mind bore fruit. Blissfully, a smile on her face, she fell back to sleep. To be continued in part 2, by Krosis, for Literotica.

Guys, I have a new best friend! Cyndi L Stuart is accomplished, super smart and hilarious. I could talk to this broad all day. Interested in boundaries, nature, murder or perimenopause? I've got an episode for you. If you are currently wondering if it's too late, Cyndi L Stuart wants you to know it is NEVER too late.Press PLAY!Please check out her debut Novel, Deadly YoursThis Killer Won't Let You Run Away!A letter, sealed with blood red wax, arrives in a small coastal town. Samantha's hopes of a new, quiet life are shattered. The killer is back. Like years before, the crime scenes mimic classic mysteries Samantha once taught in her English Lit class—The Art of Detection. Is one murder staged from an Ellery Queen novel? P.D. James? Sherlock Holmes? Maybe more!Five years ago, strangers died. This time—friends. As the body count climbs, this menace must be found, or the killings may never stop. What's hidden in the tiny details? Why is the killer taunting her? As the killer closes in, does she once again cut and run or stand and fight? What will Sam risk to bring this nightmare to an end?Find Cyndi L Stuart, learn about Cyndi L Stuart and order Deadly Yourswww.linktr.ee/cyndilstuart Jump on the Holiday SpecialHoliday Book Special | Cyndi L. Stuart's Books & Her Eclectic Cabinet of CuriositiesAre you a goddess? Or are you a goddess in training? And what the heck is a goddess? Join Julie Jacobs, your new favorite host of a personal development podcast that you will need to listen to over and over. Julie Jacobs brings you the experts so you can think about your life and your goddess potential in a different light. Julie Jacobs is a certified life coach, sober human, adored wife, and mom of two fantastically behaved teenagers. Julie weaves stories of her struggles and gives you the tools to be a victor in your own life. Julie Jacobs is a podcast host that will be hard to get out of your head. If you are looking for a podcast that empowers and that is educational The Goddesses Gather here is your prescription for solving life's problems. Goddesses Gather Here goes beyond the bold lip and the bubble bath and celebrates the zone of genius every woman has. For more information about Julie Jacobs and her goddessing check out: Julie Jacobs CoachingOr send your goddess a DM on Instagram @julie_jacobs_coaching

It's the Semi-Pro Ducks Fantasy Football Book Club! Scott teaches English Lit 101, Rick has a hard time getting back into the host chair, and we honor a pair of sports legends who passed away. 

Jenna Satterthwaite was born in the Midwest, grew up in Spain, lived briefly in France, and now lives in Chicago with her husband and three kids. Jenna studied classical guitar at the Conservatorio Profesional de Música de Zaragoza and earned her BAs in English Lit and French at Indiana University. Once upon a time, Jenna moonlighted as a singer-songwriter in folk band Thornfield. As well as being a literary agent with Storm Literary Agency, she is a debut novelist. Made For You came out earlier this year. She has two more books coming in 2025: Beach Bodies (Summer 2025, Transworld/PRH UK), and The New Year's Party (October 2025, Mira/HarperCollins). Jenna is different from most agents because not only is she an agent, she's a debut novelist. Jenna joins Barbara DeMarco-Barrett to discuss the inspiration for Made For You, why she wrote the thriller in dual points of view, how she kept going when previous novels were rejected, how also being a writer affects agenting, query letters, the differences among genres, advantages of working with a junior agent, and more. This podcast is released in time for you to query her as she's accepting queries during the month of October 2024 and then will take a break to catch up. For more information on Writers on Writing and extra writing perks, visit our Patreon page. To listen to past interviews, visit our website. Support the show by buying books at our bookstore on bookshop.org. We've stocked it with titles from our guests, as well as some of our personal favorites. You'll support independent bookstores and our show by purchasing through the store. Finally, on Spotify listen to an album's worth of typewriter music like what you hear on the show. Look for the artist, Just My Type. Email the show at writersonwritingpodcast@gmail.com. We love to hear from our listeners. (Recorded on August 30, 2024)  Host: Barbara DeMarco-BarrettHost: Marrie StoneMusic and sound editing: Travis Barrett (Stream his music on Spotify, Apple Music, Etc.)

Send me a message. What do you think about the book/podHey everyone. Here is why you can't find your audiobooks.Support me going forward by clicking hereSorry for the inconvenience I have caused to my listeners, and more importantly, I am very sorry to the copyright holders of these books. I never intended to do any wrong and I made an honest mistake. Support the Show.Thank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/IsaacBirchallvoKo-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

“Don't you agree that, on one's first visit to Florence, one must have a room with a view?” We watched the Merchant Ivory 1985 classic "A Room with a View" with our friend Rufino Cabang and excuse us as we faint in the arms of Julian Sands. Breaking American audiences to actors like Helena Bonham Carter, Julian Sands, Daniel Day Lewis, and  Rupert Graves this movie was a huge cross over success in American that was nominated for eight Academy Awards, and won for its adaptation for the screen by Ruth Prater Jhabvala. 20 year-old Helena looks like a porcelain doll,  swoon worthy men, and Maggie Smith is also here to talk some hot goss with Judi Dench. What more could you want in a costume drama! Also, the perfect cover for a movie to rent for young gay boys across the world, that features a famous skinny dipping scene with Julian Sands, Rupert Graves, and Simon Callow stripping down to their birthday suits for a dip. "A Room with a View" helped usher in the success of movies like Maurice, Remains of the Day, and Howard's End much to excitement of English Lit nerds, and all the boys who were "a joy to have in class."  Thanks for listening and don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! www.patreon.com/moviesthatmadeusgay Facebook/Instagram: @moviesthatmadeusgay Twitter: @MTMUGPod Scott Youngbauer: Twitter @oscarscott / Instagram @scottyoungballer Peter Lozano: Twitter/Instagram @peterlasagna

Born in the Midwest, Jenna Satterthwaite grew up in Spain, lived briefly in France, and is now happily settled in Chicago with her husband and three kids. Jenna studied classical guitar at the Conservatorio Profesional de Música de Zaragoza and earned her BAs in English Lit and French at Indiana University. Now she works a 9-5 style office job where she types many emails while drinking many cups of excellent coffee. Once upon a time, Jenna moonlighted as a singer-songwriter in folk band Thornfield. In the winter, you can find Jenna obsessively and cozily pounding out novels on her laptop by the fireplace. In the summer, you can find her getting sunburned at the pool with her kids, vaguely wondering how a novel is even written. She loves sushi, reading in her natural habitat (aka her bed), and women taking back their power. Made For You is her debut novel. #podcast #author #interview #authors #KillerWomen #KillerWomenPodcast #authorsontheair #podcast #podcaster #killerwomen #killerwomenpodcast #authors #authorsofig #authorsofinstagram #authorinterview #writingcommunity #authorsontheair #suspensebooks #authorssupportingauthors #thrillerbooks #suspense #wip #writers #writersinspiration #books #bookrecommendations #bookaddict #bookaddicted #bookaddiction #bibliophile #read #amreading #lovetoread #daniellegirard #daniellegirardbooks #jennasatterthwaite #mira #debutnovel

Born in the Midwest, Jenna Satterthwaite grew up in Spain, lived briefly in France, and is now happily settled in Chicago with her husband and three kids. Jenna studied classical guitar at the Conservatorio Profesional de Música de Zaragoza and earned her BAs in English Lit and French at Indiana University. Now she works a 9-5 style office job where she types many emails while drinking many cups of excellent coffee. Once upon a time, Jenna moonlighted as a singer-songwriter in folk band Thornfield. In the winter, you can find Jenna obsessively and cozily pounding out novels on her laptop by the fireplace. In the summer, you can find her getting sunburned at the pool with her kids, vaguely wondering how a novel is even written. She loves sushi, reading in her natural habitat (aka her bed), and women taking back their power. Made For You is her debut novel. #podcast #author #interview #authors #KillerWomen #KillerWomenPodcast #authorsontheair #podcast #podcaster #killerwomen #killerwomenpodcast #authors #authorsofig #authorsofinstagram #authorinterview #writingcommunity #authorsontheair #suspensebooks #authorssupportingauthors #thrillerbooks #suspense #wip #writers #writersinspiration #books #bookrecommendations #bookaddict #bookaddicted #bookaddiction #bibliophile #read #amreading #lovetoread #daniellegirard #daniellegirardbooks #jennasatterthwaite #mira #debutnovel

We wrap Directors' Month with our most requested film, Apocalypse Now. We read a review from a fran and dissect the plethora of symbolism and foreshadowing. Stina also gets excited as an English/Lit girl. Instagram: @heyitstwogirls, @classicSTINA, @daniellecobianchi Twitter: @heyitstwogirls, @classicSTINA ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Two Girls Drink Beer Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Beer Coffee Doughnuts Blog --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twogirlswatchtv/message

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 43 - The Last, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:The final chapter of Huckleberry Finn. The first time Huck finds Tom alone he asks what his plan was. Apparently, Tom wanted to go down the river together, and then tell him. From there, head back home on a steamboat with a brass band procession. Tom also pays Jim for his trouble of being their prisoner, and Jim says that he always knew that the money was going to come back because of his hairy chest. Tom then says that Huck would be able to collect his money from Judge Thatcher and says that his dad never came to collect it. Jim tells Huck that the reason he didn't come to collect the money was because he died; it was his body in the floating house they found when on the island. Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 42, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:In the morning Uncle Sylas goes into town again but comes back soon looking disappointed at not having found Tom. At breakfast, Sylas remembers a letter that he was supposed to give Aunt Sally but before she could open it, she runs outside and joins a crowd that is carrying Tom, safely, and carrying Jim, bound, and tied. Tom is taken inside, and Huck goes to see that Jim is okay. The farmers want to hang Jim, but as he doesn't belong to them, he can't be. They however do tie him up even harder and say that his rations are to be reduced to only bread and water. The doctor comes in and changes their minds about torturing Jim. He says that Jim was the best nurse that he could have asked for while taking care of Jim. This gets the men to leave Jim alone, but they aren't too happy about having a runaway slave in their midst. Huck then goes inside to see Aunt Sally and Tom. He is sleeping, but Aunt Sally dotes on him like never before. After a while, Tom finally wakes up, and before Huck can tell him that everything went wrong, he starts asking if Jim got away safe, and starts telling Aunt Sally about how he and Huck helped him escape. Aunt Sally interjects though and tells Tom that Jim didn't get free, and that he is back in chains. Tom leaps up and yells that Jim has in fact been free for 2 months, he was freed in the will of Mrs Watson. Just as he is going on about this, Aunt Polly, arrives out of the blue, and Huck jumps under the bed. She reprimands Tom and tells Sally that he and Huckleberry Finn and Tom have been pretending to be different Sawyer kids all this time. Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 41, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:The doctor is a very nice man and at first he seems to believe Hucks story and agrees to go with him to treat Tom. The doctor doesn't believe that the canoe would be big enough to support both he and Huck, and tries to look around for a bigger one. They don't find anything else, and the doctor goes off on his own. Huck goes to find somewhere to camp out for a while until the doctor comes back. When he awakes however, the sun is high up in the sky. He goes to run for the island, but comes across uncle Silas. He asks Huck where he and tom have been, and Huck claims that they went to find the run away, but went to sleep in town. Silas drags Huck home, and Aunt Sally is so pleased to see him. It seems that all of the farmers from the previous night are there, and they are talking about all of the weird things that they found in Jim's cabin. They believe him to be crazy. While talking they turn to Aunt Sally and she goes on to explain all of the horror that they have been subjected to over the past couple of weeks. Spoons, sheets, knives, food, candles, so many things stolen to help. She then turns to interrogate Huck about what he and Sid got up to last night, and she finishes by saying that if Tom isn't back by evening then she will send men to look for him. She sends huck to bed and tucks him in and talks about how good a boy Tom is. Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 40, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:After breakfast Huck and Tom head over to the island to check on the raft, and when they come home the whole family is in a panic. The boys are sent straight to bed, and at 11 they start their plan. Huck however forgot the butter and Tom send him down to the cellar to grab it while he heads off to see Jim. Huck heads downstairs and when he comes up to the landing, he comes across aunt Sally who demands what he has been doing. She is in such a panic that she believes his lies for the moment, and send him into the sitting room where he finds around 20 farmers with guns and all sorts waiting to take action against the people trying to steal Jim. Huck starts to feel sick. The farmers are talking about their plan of action but Huck can tell that they are nervous. As Huck's tension rises, the butter that he has hidden under his hat starts to melt. This causes Aunt Sally to rip his hat off where she finds the butter and cornbread. She forgives him for stealing food and send him back to bed. Huck flies upstairs and down the lightening rod and runs over to the cabin to get Jim. As he arrives he starts to hear then men coming. In just the lick of time, Jim, Huck, and Tom fly for the canoe. As they jump the fence, Tom's trousers catch on a nail and the sound causes the farmers to fire in their direction. It seems that everyone got away unscathed, and they make their way to the island where Jim is finally declared free.Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 39, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:In the morning Tom and Huck head to town to get a rat trap to get some “friends” for Jim, but after getting their haul of rats, one of the younger kids sets them free through the house. They go for a second try and get some more but not before they get a whack from Aunt Sally. They then go to get some garter snakes, and these too accidentally escape, and like before, Aunt Sally goes nuts on Huck and Tom. Even after a week, Aunt Sally is still Jumpy. Then take all the animals down to Jim, and he is more uncomfortable now than ever. After about a week, all of the work is ready for Jim's escape and Tom says that there is just 1 thing left. The anonymous letters to warn the guards that someone is going to try and break Jim out. So they start writing some notes to get the family even more Jumpy, and it seems like Aunt Sally is going to die from fright from a small breeze.Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 38, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:Huck and Jim go to making the pens while Tom Sawyer comes up with the coat of arms. Neither Huck nor Jim knows what a coat of arms is, so Tom tries to explain what it is by coming up with one for Jim. Tom comes up with one and tries to explain the design to them, but they don't really understand what everything is supposed to me; Tom says it isn't important, however. Tom then decides that carving the inscriptions into the wood isn't going to do. They need stone. So Huck and Tom set off to the mill and steal the grindstone. It is incredibly heavy though, and they nearly crush each other wheeling it home. When about halfway home, they break Jim out to help him get the grindstone back. Before going to bed, Tom asks if Jim has any spiders or snakes around, and on Jim's saying “No,” Tom says that they will get him one. Jim greatly protests this, but Tom is very persuasive and convinces him to do it.Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 37, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:Huck and Tom prepare a bunch of tools to sneak to Jim, and fix up an old pot to make the pie in. When they go to sit down for breakfast, Aunt Sally comes in raging! She has no idea what happened to Uncle Sylas' other shirt. She then goes on about several missing candles, and a missing spoon, blaming Sylas for having never patched up the rat holes in the basement. Their slave then comes in and mentions that a sheet has gone missing too. After a little longer, Sylas produces the missing spoon from his pocket. This is too much for Aunt Sally and she tells everyone to get out of the house and leave her alone for the rest of the day. Tom and Huck then decide that they need the spoon, so they will need to confuse Aunt Sally to get a new spoon, so they play a game with her where they constantly add and remove a spoon until she can't figure out how many she actually owns. Following this, Tom and Huck get the tools to Jim, and spend the evening helping him rip up his bedsheet to make a ladder and go to baking a pie to help sneak it to him.Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

The Love Ball Game: Embracing Yourself and Embodying Your Soul by Jacia Kornwise Jaciakornwise.com https://amzn.to/4a5dfaJ In “The LoveBall Game - Embracing Yourself and Embodying Your Soul” authored by Jacia Kornwise, embark on a profound journey of self-discovery, embodiment, and self-love. With Jacia's wealth of wisdom and personal insights, this transformational guide offers a heartfelt exploration of the human experience, delving into the intricacies of personal growth, resilience, intuition and embodiment. She leads the way, encouraging readers to embrace their unique life stories and cultivate self-love. Drawing from her own experiences as a multiple trauma survivor, Jacia's empathetic guidance resonates deeply. She helps you to navigate the complexities of personal growth offering insights and wisdom on how to reconnect with yourself and learn how to re-embody your intuition and instincts. She introduces you to a metaphorical game of love and life for transforming stuck points into embodied resourcefulness. This book serves as a powerful guide and testimony to finding a true romance with love and life and to fully embody the resilience of your soul's journey. Jacia Kornwise is a Master Embodied Soul Coach, Transformational Experience Facilitator, and TEDxSpeaker, with an impressive 31-year career dedicated to helping individuals, couples, and groups transform their stuck points into resilience and embodied resourcefulness. She has also taught at festivals as well as led retreats and corporate events with her skillsets. As a multiple trauma and grief survivor, Jacia has inspired her students, clients, friends, and loved ones for decades and she has now decided to share some potent moments about her personal journey with “The LoveBall Game” in combination with some helpful concepts and exercises for anyone to begin to deepen their own embodied listening. Jacia received her Bachelor's in English Lit and a teaching certification from the University of Michigan, her Master's Degree in Integral Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies and her Master's Shadow Coaching degree with the late Debbie Ford. She is a trained and certified 5 Rhythms Movement teacher by Gabrielle Roth and the Moving Center School. She studied and trained in a variety of somatic, breath, and mindfulness-based tools.. She's a Mom to her beloved son Devon and a dog Mom to her puppy Yoda. About the author Jacia Kornwise is a Master Embodied Soul Coach, Transformational Experience Facilitator, and inspirational and TEDx speaker. She is the author of “The Love Ball Game - Embracing Yourself and Embodying Your Soul.” She has an impressive 31-year career dedicated to helping individuals, couples, and groups transform their stuck points into resilience and embodied resourcefulness. She has led retreats, workshops, corporate and private events, and festivals, sharing her tools to embody healing. As a multiple trauma survivor and grief survivor, she shares herself from the heart, leading the way. Jacia received her BA in English Literature from the University of Michigan and a teaching certification. She is an Executive Contributor at Brainz Magazine. She received her Masters in Integral Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies and her Masters Shadow Coaching degree from the late Debbie Ford. She is a trained and certified 5 Rhythms Dance teacher by Gabrielle Roth and The Moving Center. She studied and trained in various breath-work, somatic, and mindfulness-based teachings. She runs the Satori Healing Center in Chico, California and is a Mom to her teenage son and puppy.

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Train chapter 36, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARY:Huck and Tom go to trying to dig Jim out of his prison cell. They are digging with case knives, and after for several hours, they realise that their case knife digging is going to take them years. Finally, Tom suggests that they use picks instead, and just let on that they used case knives, even if it isn't moral. After taking up their new venture with picks, they make short work of the digging. After digging all night, they boys try to sneak back inside via the lightening rod, but Tom's hands are too sore to climb. So again, they suggest that they “break the rules” and let on that tom climbed the rod, so Tom climbs the stairs.The following day, the boys steal a brass candlestick, and some spoons to make Jim some pens with. That night, the boys finished their digging and crawl through to wake Jim up. He is so happy to see them and hugs and kisses them. Before moving to business, they reminisce of old times. They then tell Jim the plan to get him out of Prison, and they then head back home again. The following day, they break up the candlestick and head to the cabins to try and sneak it to Jim. The plan gets tricky though because Tom forgot to close the lean-to's door and the dogs made their way into Jim's cell. Thankfully the man who brings Jim his food just attributes it to witches.Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 35, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSummary:Huck and Tom go on continuing the plans to break Jim out of jail. Tom keeps complaining that the situation is too easy; they need to come up with the difficulties themselves. Tom says that they need a very basic light to make it seem more authentic, but they could probably use a lantern, and no one would notice, it just isn't the “Right” way. He then says that they need to make a saw so that they can cut the bed of Jim's bed off, even though they could just lift the bed off of the chain on Jim's leg. Tom just wants to make the plan difficult for the “story.” Tom then suggests that Jim needs a rope latter because everyone else does, even though he would have no need for it. Huck is against it, but as he doesn't know as much as Tom, he goes along with the idea. Tom gets very frustrated with Huck's constant attempts to make the plan easier. Tom and Huck then conclude that they can steal anything they want provided that it will help Jim get out of jail. This is where Tom gets his idea to dig Jim out of the jail with little knives. Huck again protests, saying that it would take years for them to give him out and suggests that they could use the rusty tools in the shed. Tom just says it wouldn't be proper…Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 34, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSummaryOn their way back to the farm Huck and Tom decide to investigate the shed where they believe Jim is being held. While there, Tom keeps shutting down Huck's sensible plans on breaking Jim out, saying that they are too easy. Tom needs a great and daring escape plan like those he has read about in books. The following day, they wake up early and decide to head over to the slave quarters to see if they can talk to the man who took Jim his food on the previous day. The two convince him to take them to see the prisoner. When the door opens and the boys step inside, Jim accidentally calls out to Huck, asking if that is Tom Sawyer with him. The boys have to think on their feet, and when the slave asks Jim why he called out, Tom claims that he didn't hear anything and that the man must have imagined it. After both Huck and Jim confirm that no one said anything he goes on a little rant about having been tortured by witches of late, and asks Tom and Huck not to tell on him to Uncle Sylas. They agree, and he goes ranting on again. During this brief rant, Tom and Huck make their ways over to Jim and tell him not to worry about any digging noises, and that they are going to break him out…SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information:Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠ Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 33, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSummaryHuck makes his way down the road with the hope to cross the real Tom Sawyer. He finds him and Tom barely believes what he can see, thinking that Huck is probably a ghost. After proving it to Tom, Huck tells him about everything that is going on, and even tells him that he is planning to steal Jim back out of Slavery. To Huck's astonishment, Tom agrees to help get Jim free. He and Tom split ways again, agreeing to have Huck take Tom's bag, with Tom arriving a later on pretending to be somebody else. The Family is exciting to have another visitor at home and they welcome Tom, using a different name, with open arms, saying that where he is going is too far away, and that they have also put on extra food for him. Tom starts spinning a yarn about him being from Ohio and goes on telling everything about the fake town. Eventually he tells them that he is “Sid Sawyer” another cousin, and the family embraces him too. During the dinner, the kids of the Phelps' talk about a show in town, and Uncle Sylus says that the new prisoner (Jim) told him it was all a big con. Huck knows that it is the King and the Duke, and after settling in his bedroom with Tom, they climb out of the window into town to see the King and Duke being tarred and feathered and ran out of town.SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information:Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 32, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSummaryHuckleberry Finn makes his way onto the Phelps' farm with the goal of finding out where Jim is being held. He scopes out the area and details the farm for the audience. Once he gets close enough to the house, a pack of hounds runs to him and encircles him, howling at the top of their lungs. A slave woman comes out and chases the dogs away, and eventually, a woman who Huck presumes to be Mrs Phelps comes out and embraces him like a lost child. Huck is confused, but goes along with the hug, finding out that the Phelps family had been waiting for their nephew Tom to arrive and he is 3 days late. She takes Huck inside and starts asking questions about the journey and asks if he was stuck on a sandbar. He lies about the delay and is convincing enough to let Mrs Phelps rattle on about all that has been going on recently. She then comes to ask him about his family and Huck starts to panic. Just in the nick of time however, Mr Phelps is heard coming home, and Mrs Phelps rushes Huck away planning to surprise her husband with his “Nephew.” When he enters the home he is downtrodden about Tom having not arrived, but Mrs Phelps pulls Huck out of his hiding place and exclaims that their Nephew Tom Sawyer arrived while he was out. Huck is instantly washed over with a wave of relief. He can only pretend to be a stranger for so long, but he can pretend to be his best friend Tom Sawyer for years to come.SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information:Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠ Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 31, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSummaryThe men and Huck make their way down the river again, and after traveling a couple of miles, the Duke and the King go back to scamming people. After several failed frauds the men get quite broke, and after a few days they start whispering together and Huck and Jim start to think that the worst is yet to come, deciding that they would try and flee as soon as they could. They land in a town, and the King heads ashore to scope out the town. At mid-day, the Duke and Huck head into town, and at the first free moment, Huck runs back towards the raft, calling out for Jim; to Huck's horror, Jim is gone. He cries and goes all over trying to find Jim and he eventually comes across a young boy who says to Huck that a “runaway” slave was caught and that he is being held at a man called Sylas' farm. Huck asks who caught the runaway, and the boy says it was an old man, and Huck realises that The King and the Duke had sold Jim to get some money. Huck tries to think of ways to help Jim get out of imprisonment, and thinks that he could try and write to Ms. Watson saying that Jim is alive, but he starts to think that he and Jim would be treated horribly; Jim for running away, and Huck because he helped him run away. Huck starts to think that maybe he helped Jim run away because he was raised badly, and tries to pray that he will be better in the future. The praying doesn't work and Huck believes that the reason he can't pray properly is because you can't pray a lie. He starts to reflect on their journey, and how good and kind and fatherly Jim had been to him, and Huck concluded that no matter how much he wants to be “good,” if it means that Jim goes back into slavery, then being good isn't right. Not knowing where he is, or how to get him free, Huck determines that he will Free Jim…SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information:Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 30, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSummaryThe King and the Duke make it onboard the raft and throttle Huck, asking what he was trying to do by escaping without them. Huck comes up with a very convincing lie to tell the two, and they seem to believe him. The two then go after each other, claiming that the other is responsible for hiding the gold with the intention to go back after being rid of the other members of the raft. They start to fight, and the Duke wrestles the King into submission, claiming that if the King were to try and pull the wool over his eyes again, then he would finish him. The King then goes into the wigwam with a bottle of booze and the Duke soon follows; in the drunken sleep they seem to go back to being as tight as thieves again…SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Subscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSUMMARYAn old man and a younger gentleman are escorted towards the house by a group of villagers, from the first word out of the eldest of them, Huck can tell right away that these people are the Real relatives of the Wilks family. The Duke and the King get called out for being frauds, and the Huck gets dragged into the mix by a man who claims to have seen them in town a couple of days beforehand. They all get taken into town, and once at the hotel, the Doctor starts to interrogate the King, the Duke, and Huck. The Doctor asks Huck if he too is from England, and when he says yes, they laugh, and don't ask Huck anything further. The men go back and forth, asking the Duke, and the old man in turn for their stories, and after Huck pretends to tell about Sheffield, the men laugh again, and the Lawyer says that Huck needs to get better at lying… The Lawyer then asks both the old man, and the Duke to write on a sheet of paper so that he can compare their handwriting against the letters that the brothers sent to each other. No one's handwriting matches the letters, and the old man then goes to claim that his brother is the one who writes his letters for him, but as he has a broken arm, he cannot write anything to prove this claim. The Old man then asks if anyone in the room saw Wilks' body before he was interred, and then asks if the Duke can say what he had tattooed on his body.  men to prepared the body however claim that they didn't see anything. Someone then suggests that the dig up the body and check for the marks, and so they all go over to the burial site, dig up the body...SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 28, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinSummary:As the morning comes, Huck makes his way out of his room and comes across Mary-Jane crying. She is upset about The King and The Duke separating their slaves. Huck can't help but tell her that the slaves will be back together again within 2 weeks. The jig is up and Huck decides that he needs to tell the truth to the girl. He asks her if she can go stay with a friend for 4 days if he tells her the truth, and she agrees. So Huck tells her all about how he met the Conmen, and how they have been scamming the whole family so they can get a nice payday. He tells Mary-Jane that what she needs to do is go to her friend's house and stay there until around 11, and he says that if Huck is home there will be a candle lit in the house, and if he has managed to escape from the conmen then there will be no candle. He also says that he will leave her a note, saying where the money should be hid, and how he can prove that the Conmen are not actually her relatives by writing a note about “The Royal Nonsuch.” After Mary-Jane takes off, Huck goes to tell the other girls about Mary-Jane's departure, making up a lie about someone being very ill with a extreme “mumps.” At first the girls are sceptical of Huck's disease, but in the end, he is able to convince them, and they go to tell their “Uncles” that Mary-Jane has gone to see some friends so that they don't suspect anything strange about her absence. So the auction to sell the house starts, and as it goes on the people hear a calling from down the road, it seems that the “real” uncles have arrived…SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

There is nothing greater than sharing the joy of Christmas with aliens. The concept of Christmas may be foreign to other planets, but the spirit remains true. Today's scene can be found at: Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special [0:00 - 2:18, 36:14 - 37:01, 38:19 - 39:05]. You can find us on Twitter @timelinescav! And individually you can find your hosts at @unabashedJames and @ColinMParker. BIG thank you for the intro and outro music from @NBramald! Check out his website at https://www.nickbramaldcomposer.co.uk. If you need music for any occasion, he's your man.

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 27Huck goes along with his plan and he sneaks downstairs to try and find a hiding spot for the bag of gold. The front door is locked and he starts to hear someone coming so he heads into the nearest room, the one with the coffin, and Huck decides to hide the gold in the coffin. Huck then makes his way back upstairs and starts to worry that the gold is going to be found when the coffin lid is screwed on, in which case the King isn't going to let anyone near the gold again. The next morning Huck wakes up and go downstairs for the funeral. The room is full of chairs and slowly people start to file in. Once everyone is seated, the undertaker makes his final touches to the room, and moves around like the stealthiest person that Huck has ever seen. The preacher starts to give his sermon and though good, it was very long, and after finishing, the King decides to take his turn. Finally, the undertakes takes his turn and goes to screw the lid onto the coffin and he doesn't find the gold. Huck starts to worry that it was found earlier though and starts to panic a little. After the burial, the King goes around and tells everyone that they need to leave for England and they need to set off for England as soon as possible. So the King goes to set an auction to sell the house, and sells the slaves to some slave traders. The King heartlessly separates a family of slaves, and the whole family nearly turns against he and the Duke. But he continues on. On the day of the auction, Huck is woken up by the King and the Duke and they start asking him questions about if he had been in the King's room, or if he had seen anyone go in there. He lies to them and says the he saw the slaves that they sold go in there. This causes the Duke and the King to stress and the Duke finally calls the King out on his actions, saying that they should have just stuck to their regular cons…SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠ Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 26When everyone else has left, the daughters lead the men up to their rooms, with Mary-Jane offering to sleep in a different room to leave the King her bed. They then have a large dinner and after everyone has eaten, Huckleberry Finn and the servant girl eat in the kitchen. The servant girl starts to grill Huck about England and he starts to tell her that the King of England goes to his church with the King and the Duke. The girl questions Huck about his lies, and only thanks to some true Tom Sawyer energy is Huck able to try and convince the girl that he actually does live in England. She is still sceptical, however and only the interruption of Mary-Jane truly saves Huck's skin, and her kindness to him convinces Huck that he needs to stop the King and Duke from robbing this wonderful girls. Once Huck escapes to his room he starts to hash out a plan to try and steal the money from the King and the Duke. He eventually concludes that he needs to sneak into their rooms to try and find it. He finds nothing in the Duke's room, and then heads to the King's and after a brief search he decides to lay in and eavesdrop on the con men. The King and Duke eventually come in and the Duke says to the King that he is feeling weary, and that he wants to just take the gold and run for it. The King rebuts this and tries to convince the Duke that after it is found out that they weren't the rightful owners of the farm, then the sale will fall through and the girls will only loose the 6 thousand in gold. Just as they start to leave, the Duke says that he isn't sure that the money is hid in a safe place, and the King decides to move the money to a safer spot in the room where no one will find it, but Huck. As soon as they leave, Huck runs for the bag and hides it somewhere safe while waiting for everyone to go to bed.SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠ Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 25The men make their way to the house and they meet all of their “Brother's” relatives. The daughters immediately fling themselves into the Duke and the King's arms. The King then looks over and sees the coffin, and after signalling the Duke, they make their way over to it and immediately burst into the most powerful sobs. The whole gathered crowd join in with the tears, and with an “Amen,” the crowd laments together. The king then suggests that the closest friends of the deceased should have dinner with them that night. Some of the people that the King names aren't in town, but everyone that is available joins the family in the house. The King goes on to talk about a tonne of residents of the area and about certain events that happened in the area that he learned from the carpet salesman. The girls then bring out their father's will, and hand it to the King. There is apparently 6000 dollars' worth of gold in the basement, and the King and the Duke offer to go and collect the cash for the family. They count out the cash, but it seems to be $415 short, and after not finding it, the Duke suggests that they make up the rest with their own money to really convince the family that they are “above board.” They then take the money upstairs and count it in front of all of the guests. Afterwards, the King “gives” the money to the girls to really drive home how “real” they are. A new guest sneaks in and stands alone to watch the spectacle. The King goes on to be incredibly thankful to all of the people that have joined his “family” today. Everyone is incredibly moved by his words except for the new visitor, who eventually calls the King out as a fraud. Incredibly, the King and the Duke did such a convincing job that everyone defends them instead of the doctor who snuck in to watch. SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 24, narrated by Isaac BirchallThe gang lands on a towhead between two towns, and the Duke and King start scheming again. Jim protests having to be tied up for so long, so the Duke decides to try and paint Jim with different colours to make him appear sick so that if anyone comes near, they won't interfere with him. Following this, the Duke heads to one town to scout it out, and the King and Huck head off to the opposite town. At the previous place they stopped, the men bought fancy clothes with the money they swindled to try and make their schemes seem more legitimate, and to match their fancy clothes, the King suggests that he and Huck arrive in the town on a steamboat. After paddling down a little, they come across a young man with two carpet bags and they offer to give him a lift to the steamboat. The King spins a yarn about why he is in town, and it comes about that a rich man in the area has recently passed away, and his foreign family was supposed to be coming to visit him. This information lights the King's eyes up and he proceeds to ask the young man all sorts of questions about the family, their friends, their fortune, etc. and eventually they leave the young man at the steamboat landing. The King then tells Huck that they don't need to go to the steamboat anymore; all they need is for the Duke to meet them so that they can scheme. After meeting back up with the Duke, they set off for the farm on a new steamboat, and when they disembark they are immediately greeted by several people who take them to be the visiting relatives of the newly deceased. The moment that the King is informed that his “Brother” has died, he pulls off the greatest performance of his life, and after that, the townsfolk believe that the King and the Duke are the real deal.SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 22, narrated by Isaac BirchallA mob forms and makes its way towards Colonel Shever's house with the goal to lynch him. Pretty much the whole town is involved with the mob, and Huck is the most shocked to see that it is the children that are at the front of the pack. The mob tares down the fence and as the mob crosses the threshold, the Colonel steps out onto his roof with his gun in his hand. The Colonel laughs a scornful laugh, and proceeds to give a monologue claiming that the people of the south are too cowardly to do anything in daylight, and he says that if they are going to do anything the it will be in the dead of night. He then goes to claim that no man will do anything if there isn't a leader, a “Man.” He then says that if they do want to lynch him, then they should come back in the night when they are feeling courageous enough to act. After the mob dissipates, Huck wanders around a little, and then heads to the circus in town. It is a beautiful spectacle, and everyone watches in awe of the stunts that are performed. After the circus he makes his way over to the town hall where the Duke and the King are set to perform, and it is a bit of a pitiful sight. Only enough people show up to cover the expenses, and the crowd kept laughing and making jokes about the show. The Duke is very disappointed by the outcome of the evening, and he determines that the southerners are not educated enough to appreciate Shakespeare, and he conjures up a plan to get a bigger, and more invested crowd. SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 21The Duke and the King continue practicing their Shakespeare long into the day. After dinner, the Duke suggests that they add an encore, and convinces the King to perform Hamlet's soliloquy. The Duke doesn't have it in his book but claims that he could recollect it. Eventually it comes to him, and though it doesn't resemble the soliloquy, and the Duke has mixed multiple plays together, it is a good enough speech to perform to people who have never seen Shakespeare; so the King goes to learning it too. They continue down the river into Arkansas, and eventually come into a town that seems perfect for their show. The Duke hires the town hall for 1 night only, and the men they try to create some interest in the show. Huck spends this time wandering around the town. It is very dishevelled; paint peeling from all of the buildings, and houses close enough to the river that a good storm could sweep them away. The men in the town spend their time leaning against the sides of buildings chewing tobacco, drinking, and fighting. After a while, a loud drunk man rides into town, calling for a man called colonel Shever. He rides to the house of Shever and raises hell, calling him all sorts of names. Eventually Shever shows his face, and says that the drunk man that he can raise hell until 1 o'clock, after which Shever will find him and end him. At 1 o'clock, Shever finds the drunkard in the street, shoots him, and then heads home. The townsfolks try to check on the drunkard but after several deep breaths, he dies. Following this, some charlatans decide to reenact the murder, and eventually, the people get into a frenzy and finally, someone suggests a lynching…SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell, narrated by Isaac BirchallSubscribe on YT or Join the Book Club on Patreon and support me as an independent creator :Dhttps://www.patreon.com/theessentialreadshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOFfvo05ElM96CmfsGsu3g/joinThe Most dangerous game follows an American hunter as he ends up marooned on an island in the Caribbean after falling off of a ship he was taking to South America. Once he arrives on the island he tries to make his way towards what he hopes will be a small town where he can get help. What he finds however is a huge manor. At the door he is greeted by a giant of a guard and butler, and a tall elegant Russian gentleman. After being invited inside to dine for the evening, the men discuss big game hunting. The Russian claims to have hunted all forms of giant beasts, and states that his desire to hunt the likes of tigers, buffalo, wildebeest and the like has faded and that he has found a new beast to hunt that constantly keeps him entertained... Man.SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 20, narrated by Isaac BirchallThe Duke and the King start asking Jim and Huck questions, and Huck has to come up with another fake backstory about how Jim came into his possession, and why they're on the river. They then try to come up with a plan to run in daytime too. As night begins to fall, the Duke and the King make their way into the wigwam, and they determine that because they are nobility, they deserve to have beds instead of Huck and Jim. The make their way into the middle of the river eventually after a couple of miles they hoist their lantern, and a storm starts to loom overhead. The weather worsens, and Huck and Jim are forced to stand watch while the Duke and the King sleep. As the sun comes up and the storm ends, the Duke, and the King bring out some handbills that go on to claim all of the wonderful things that they have done. The Duke tells the King that a great way to make money is to put on plays for the country folk, and eventually the Duke convinces the King to help him put on some Shakespeare plays to bring in some cash, and they spend the rest of the day preparing their scenes. As they come to a village, they hide the raft and everyone, but Jim goes ashore to investigate and maybe make some money. They find a printing office and the Duke goes in there to print handbills for their play, while Huck and the King go to the woods where they hear that the townsfolks have gathered. There are a tonne of tents dotted about the woods and they enter the first one. A preacher gives a very enthusiastic sermon, and the people watching get wilier and wilier as the sermon continues. This gives the King an idea, and he runs up onto the stage and makes up a story about him being an ex-pirate who has since found God. The King then claims that his plan is to head back to the ocean and convert pirates to the faith, and he speaks with such conviction that the townsfolk call for a collection to be taken up to help the King in his mission. After this, Huck and the King make their way back to the raft where they find the Duke with a heap of Handbills. They then discuss their plans before taking off again down the river.SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfSharkVPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your informationIncogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC*By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 19, narrated by Isaac BirchallHuck and Jim are adrift down the river again, they spend their days sleeping and their nights making their way down the river. The tie up on towheads and cast their lines into the river to feed themselves. Huck reminisces about these good days, but you can't help but feel that these good, peaceful times are foreshadowing another darkness. Huck and Jim spend their days just talking about life, the universe and everything, and they start talking about the thousands of stars that they light their journey down the river, and where they came from. One day, Huck starts to paddle towards shore, and he encounters two men running for their lives. They call to him and beg for Huck to let them climb onboard his canoe. Huck is cautious at first, but after a few minutes he tells the men to run up the river a bit more and then to jump in the water and wade to him to get rid of any sent trails. After they get back to the raft, the men introduce themselves and they claim that they don't know each other and start to tell the tale of how they came to be on the run. After a little while though, the younger of the two starts to cry and he claims that he is actually a Duke and that he is devastated that he has to live in squalid conditions. Huck and Jim pity the man and ask if they can do anything to make it better, and the man says that they could address him in a regal manner, and that they could wait on him at mealtimes. After this, the older of the two tells of his own magical Royal birth, and he claims that he is the legitimate son of louis 16 and Marie Antoinette and asks Huck and Jim if they could treat him like a king too. Huck and Jim agree to these terms, but Huck also states that he knows that the two men are nothing but conmen.SUPPORT THE SHOWGet SurfShark and protect yourself online today VPN: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=926&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Antivirus: ⁠⁠https://get.surfshark.net/aff_c?offer_id=934&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ Get data brokers to stop selling your information with: Incogni: ⁠⁠https://get.incogni.io/aff_c?offer_id=1219&aff_id=20389⁠⁠ *COMIC* By @Valenangelr ⁠https://www.instagram.com/valenangelr⁠ *SOCIAL*INSTAGRAM: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreads⁠ TWITTER: ⁠http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98⁠ KO-Fi: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads⁠ STORE: ⁠https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/⁠Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Join Eric, @DrJoeEsposito, @TimAndrewsHere, @Autopritts, @JaredYamamoto, @EnglishNick67, and Greg as they chat about the phony-bologna debate, the McAfee/Rogers split, emotional support cups, and much more! This podcast includes the radio show. *New episodes of our sister shows: The Popcast, Radio Labyrinth, Power Pod, The Nightcap w/ Jared Yamamoto, and One Topic are available as well!* “Brought to you by Findlay Roofing”

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain chapter 18, narrated by Isaac BirchallThe colonel is a true southern gentleman, he treats everyone with respect, and talks gently. He is shaved every day, and dresses impeccably. He radiates a warmth from him that is very comforting. When he and his wife come downstairs each morning, all members of the family stand up and drink a toast to the elders of the family. Huck then goes on to describe the other members of the family and describes how hospitable they are to any passersby.Huck then talks about the other rich family in the area, and then recounts a time when he and Buck came across a member of the other family. Buck pulled his gun on the man and fired at the man. Buck didn't get the man, and he and Huck had to run to get away from him. Once Huck and Buck had a moment alone, Huck asks Buck why he fired at the man, and Buck goes to tell Huck about the feud between the two families. On the following Sunday, Huck and the family go to church and after getting home, the girl Sophia asks Huck if he could go back to the church and collect her bible that she forgot there. Inside of the bible is a note labled “half-past two.” As soon and Huck is home, he gives the bible to the girl and she immediately lights up when she sees the note. Huck sets out to think the situation over, and eventually his servant comes to find him, and leads him to a hidden away nook where Jim has been hiding for a couple of weeks. They are finally reunited, and more importantly, Jim tells Huck that the raft wasn't destroyed. After this encounter with Jim, Huck heads back to the house and wakes up the next day to find the house empty. The girl Sophia, and the Sheperdson boy that Buck shot at ran off together, and the families were at “War…”Support the showThank you so much for listening, if you want to support the me go to any of these links :)*Social*SHOPIFY: https://the-essential-reads.myshopify.com/INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/theessentialreadsTWITTER: http://twitter.com/isaacbirchall98Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/theessentialreads

Saron chats with Laura Thorson, Program Manager at GitHub. Laura talks about how she was always interested in singing, dancing and music growing up which led her to UCLA on a scholarship to play the oboe. She tells us about her experience at UCLA and her decision to go to a coding bootcamp after graduation as opposed to searching for a job with her English Lit degree. Laura then describes the jobs she landed after bootcamp at Salesforce, Twitter, Meta and now GitHub and how LinkedIn played a huge role in helping her land these opportunities. Show Links Code Comments (sponsor) IRL (sponsor) STK AdTech Laura's GitHub Laura's Twitter

Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers by Jesse Q. Sutanto https://amzn.to/3MIuQLD A lonely shopkeeper takes it upon herself to solve a murder in the most peculiar way in this captivating mystery by Jesse Q. Sutanto, bestselling author of Dial A for Aunties. Vera Wong is a lonely little old lady—ah, lady of a certain age—who lives above her forgotten tea shop in the middle of San Francisco's Chinatown. Despite living alone, Vera is not needy, oh no. She likes nothing more than sipping on a good cup of Wulong and doing some healthy detective work on the Internet about what her Gen-Z son is up to. Then one morning, Vera trudges downstairs to find a curious thing—a dead man in the middle of her tea shop. In his outstretched hand, a flash drive. Vera doesn't know what comes over her, but after calling the cops like any good citizen would, she sort of . . . swipes the flash drive from the body and tucks it safely into the pocket of her apron. Why? Because Vera is sure she would do a better job than the police possibly could, because nobody sniffs out a wrongdoing quite like a suspicious Chinese mother with time on her hands. Vera knows the killer will be back for the flash drive; all she has to do is watch the increasing number of customers at her shop and figure out which one among them is the killer. What Vera does not expect is to form friendships with her customers and start to care for each and every one of them. As a protective mother hen, will she end up having to give one of her newfound chicks to the police? About the author Jesse Q. Sutanto is the author of adult, YA, and children's middle grade books. She has an MSt in Creative Writing from Oxford University and a BA in English Lit from Berkeley, though she hasn't found a way of saying that without sounding obnoxious. The film rights to her women's fiction, Dial A for Aunties, was bought by Netflix in a competitive bidding war. Her adult books include Dial A for Aunties, its sequel, Four Aunties and a Wedding, and Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers. Her YA books include The Obsession, The New Girl, and Well, That Was Unexpected. Her MG books include Theo Tan and the Fox Spirit and its sequel, Theo Tan and the Iron Fan.

Known as “America's first female cryptanalyst,” Elizebeth Smith Friedman was a master codebreaker who played a pivotal role in both world wars, but for many years, no one knew what she had done—not even her own family. Elizebeth didn't set out to be a codebreaker. In 1917, she was a 23-year-old English lit major, looking for an interesting job. That all changed when an eccentric millionaire whisked her off to his lavish country estate and recruited her to work on his passion project: finding the secret codes in Shakespeare's plays. Elizabeth scoured the texts alongside a tiny team of self-taught codebreakers. No hidden messages surfaced. But soon, the U.S. government came knocking with a slightly higher priority mission. Perhaps her greatest coup was when she uncovered a Nazi spy ring in North America during World War II. J. Edgar Hoover took credit on behalf of the FBI, while Friedman signed an NDA, never speaking of her achievements, and fell into obscurity. Records of what she had done were found in the National Archives annex in College Park, Maryland.