Podcasts about be it till you see

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Best podcasts about be it till you see

Latest podcast episodes about be it till you see

The Live for Yourself Revolution Podcast: Living toward greater health, wealth, and happiness

Lesley Logan, a 2nd generation certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalog of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Find out more at: https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/

las vegas pilates prioritize lesley logan teaching pilates be it till you see
The Mind Movement Health Podcast
The Benefits of Pilates: Build Strength, Flexibility & Confidence with Lesley Logan

The Mind Movement Health Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2025 54:50 Transcription Available


In this episode of the Mind Movement Health Podcast, host Kate Boyle welcomes Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher and founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com. As part of their celebration of International Pilates Day, they delve into the world of Pilates, discussing how to maintain a consistent and beneficial practice while balancing life commitments. Lesley shares her journey into Pilates, her experiences with teaching and studio management, and offers invaluable insights into building a sustainable business in the Pilates industry. The conversation also touches on the evolution of Pilates, its underrated benefits, and the importance of a personalized practice. Listeners will gain wisdom on the significance of prioritizing personal health through Pilates, tips for avoiding instructor burnout, and the diverse benefits of Pilates beyond aesthetics. With engaging discussions on retreats and the future of Pilates, this episode is a motivating resource for both seasoned instructors and newcomers alike.   Connect with Lesley: Lesley Logan, a 2nd generation certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder ofOnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalog of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley is hosting her podcast, Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats.   Website: https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/ https://www.instagram.com/opc.pilates/ https://www.instagram.com/be_it_pod/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates Podcast: https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/ Threads: https://www.threads.com/@be_it_pod?xmt=AQGzmckACWYeufM5IP4HmBl0n-a1E6lZvstU_XzaLEx5aTQ  Links: https://lesleylogan.co/links/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaffraqEG_W2ou7-KUffvdBIbSCGxV7cx2Zw__J9SWSEYHeFh20swOfAK3qmOQ_aem_HlQoWB6fSkk6cw5OVEq6pg   Ready to escape to Serenity? Then come join our 2025 Pilates Retreat in Thailand! This retreat promises a full week of relaxation, exploration, and rejuvenation tailored for everyone. Get ready for daily Pilates, nourishing food, enriching activities, and meaningful connections with the beautiful backdrop of Thailand. Spaces are limited to only 16 participants so get in now and grab your spot on the link below: https://www.mindmovementhealth.com.au/thailand-retreat/   Connect with Kate: Website: MindMovementHealth.com.au Facebook: facebook.com/MindMovementHealth Instagram: instagram.com/MindMovementHealth Haven't subscribed to the podcast yet? Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review at: Apple Podcasts

Pilates Exchange
March Matness: The Art of Growth and Self-Care in Pilates

Pilates Exchange

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2025 42:43


In honor of March Matness, a global celebration of Pilates mat exercises, Hannah sits down with the inspiring Lesley Logan for a lively and thought-provoking conversation about Pilates, teaching, and self-care. Together, they explore the joys and challenges of practicing and teaching Pilates, offering invaluable insights for enthusiasts, aspiring instructors, and seasoned teachers alike. Lesley shares her journey into Pilates, the power of curiosity in teaching, and how setting boundaries can transform both your practice and your life.Whether you're joining March Matness as a client or instructor, this episode will inspire you to embrace growth, connection, and self-care on and off the mat. Lesley Logan, a 2nd generation certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of Online Pilates Classes™: #1 Reformer, Mat, Chair Exercises , the first free online catalog of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats Links:@‌lesley.logan (IG)onlinepilatesclasses (youtube)www.lesleylogan.co

Be It Till You See It
431. Build a Higher Quality Life with Microdoses of Pleasure

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 26:48


What is feminine burnout? This episode explores the specific type of burnout impacting women and how it disrupts hormone balance and the body's ability to experience joy. Lesley and Brad dive into insights from Dr. Jordin Wiggins, discussing the effects of stress and how to reclaim your energy by microdosing pleasure. Discover small yet powerful changes you can make to build resilience against stress and restore balance in your life.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How feminine burnout disrupts hormone balance.Why small doses of pleasure reintroduce daily joy.Building resilience through nervous system regulation tips.Long-term consequences of ignoring stress and burnout.Actionable steps to add pleasure into daily routines.Episode References/Links:Cambodia February 2025 RetreatFlashcards WaitlistPilates Studio Growth AcceleratorOPC Winter TourDr. Jordin Wiggins WebsiteDr. Jordin Wiggins' InstagramThe Pleasure Principles PodcastThe Pink Canary by Dr. Jordin WigginErin Hatzikostas Episode 427By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS!Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramThe Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channelFacebookLinkedInThe OPC YouTube Channel Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  If you have to clean the kitchen, what can make that more pleasurable? Would it be but more fun to be in cozy sweats with some really great music? Would you have more fun to have your favorite beverage. I don't know. What would make it more pleasurable? Would it be more fun if your partner was naked? I don't know these things. You can try them out. Lesley Logan 0:16  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:58  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the pleasurable convo I have with Jordin Wiggins. Dr. Jordin Wiggins, to be exact, in our last episode, if you haven't yet listened to that one, you have missed out. And you can listen to that one after you listen to this one, or pause this one. Listen to that one. You know, whatever you want to do. It's easy. They're all here for you. Brad Crowell 1:20  Do it. All the things. Lesley Logan 1:21  Yeah, before we get into that, today is Thursday, October 10th, and it's World Mental Health Day. I also wanted to say it's really hard to choose, because there's actually a lot of world days. Normally there's like, a World Day. Brad Crowell 1:32  Yeah, there's a lot. Lesley Logan 1:32  There was a lot of world days, including information on world homelessness problem, some other things. Brad also saw a vegan burger thing. So, you know, but the World Mental Health Day felt like it encompassed most of the other world days. So World Mental Health Day is October 10th and as our understanding of mental health grows, we grow along with it. Mental Health has come a long way since the early 90s, when the World Federation of Mental Health, WFMH, officially established the day. Our self-awareness and sensitivity towards it have changed things for the better. Our language surrounding mental health has improved as words like crazy and lunatic are used less flippantly, and we come to better understand that can be unintentionally hurtful and stigmatizing. While we've learned a lot, there's still so much more we can do to evolve as a society.Brad Crowell 2:20  Yeah, I feel like that's a good description. You know, when we were younger, in the 90s, Lesley Logan 2:26  People use the R-word. Brad Crowell 2:27  They did. They did. Lesley Logan 2:28  Just to, like, say something was like, this cup, you know?Brad Crowell 2:32  Or, you know, I still think the word insane is thrown out there really a lot. I mean, we don't know that many people who are truly insane. So I guess. Lesley Logan 2:40  Given, given the current climate we are in, there are a particular person who is making me use some of these words in the like, towards that person, without them having been tested, and I feel really bad about it. But also, what else do we say? Yeah, which is why, you know what? Maybe why weird is there. But also I just really, I do agree, like, growing up, no one really talked about mental health, and was kind of rare that anyone would go see a therapist, and all of this stuff, and now.Brad Crowell 3:15  Or it was, like, awkward, and say, oh you're seeing a therapist?Lesley Logan 3:19  (inaudible) get things done. And you had to rally all the time. And now we can Brad Crowell 3:23  I mean, in things like ADHD, you know, and ADD. Lesley Logan 3:26  Right. But also, like, it's so easy. I've, you know, like, friends that you love who really care about you be like, hey, can we catch up. It's like, you know, I'm taking a mental health day. They're not like, oh, you're bailing on me again. People just go, okay, it's actually really seen to be a positive thing. And also, sometimes I would people don't take care of the Mental Health I'm like, what is going on with you? Like, why aren't you taking care of yourself? This is the world we live in where you can. So I think it's really cool. Lesley Logan 3:52  And also I will say, I just want to say, it is World Homelessness day. Please look at where you are and see what you can do to help because especially in the States, the Supreme Court just made it legal for towns to make it illegal to be homeless. And so I don't know how the fuck they think these people are going to bring into society if they go to jail for being homeless, and then guess what? They can't get an apartment. How are they going to get most jobs? I have so many problems about this so and as someone who's been without address a few times. If you have judgment towards people who are homeless, I ask you to check that, because there's a lot of different reasons people are homeless. Not every homeless person doesn't have a job. Oftentimes it's because it's really hard to get affordable housing near where they work. And if you live in a really nice neighborhood and you're like, there's fucking homeless here, well, guess who is going to work at your subway? How can they afford to live close and in that neighborhood? So we need to really invest in city planning and taking a look at these things and really making sure that mental health facilities and support systems are invested in because that is who is helping the homeless. Okay, I'll get off my little soapbox. Brad Crowell 5:01  Okay, well, upcoming here in next February, Lesley and I are going to be back in Cambodia. We are currently in Cambodia right now, literally hosting a retreat as we speak. So obviously, recorded this ahead of time, but it is literally one of our most favorite things to do in the world, and I say that being on the other side of the world right now. Lesley Logan 5:22  While you're listening to this, we are at a lotus farm. Brad Crowell 5:24  That's right, yeah, no, it's, that's actually exactly where we are. We're literally at a lotus farm. We are. Lesley Logan 5:29  We're making flowers and necklaces. Brad Crowell 5:31  Yeah. And we are floating on a lake with lotuses all over the, all over it. It is stunningly beautiful. Lesley Logan 5:37  At sunset. Brad Crowell 5:38  Yeah, yeah. And you too could join us next February. We're gonna do it again. So it is gorgeous, amazing. It's inspirational. It will change your perspective on so many things when you see how other people live their lives, and the people of Cambodia are so friendly and open and just nice and kind, and we get to go not only meet them, see them, experience their food and culture, but then we get to explore something that is truly incredible, the eighth wonder of the world, the temple of Angkor Wat. It is the largest religious structure on the planet Earth. It is unbelievable. It is literally temples in the middle of the jungle that have been reconstructed here now. And you got to see it. It's a bucket list thing. So we want you to come with us, go to crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com. What do we got coming next? Lesley Logan 6:26  Well, when we come back, I, you know, continue to ready myself for the accessory shoot, which is going to be in LA. Someone's going to be in LA for a week, doing some work and just preparing my strength and stamina for some of the exercise we've take pictures of. I'm so excited for this. This is actually going to be a really cool shoot. We're actually using another studio for the guillotine in there. So if you want the accessories deck, which is the sixth deck, and the final deck in the flash card decks, this is the last one. And I don't see us doing a prequel or a spin-off, this is like, this is it. This is the last installment. Brad Crowell 7:00  Yeah, I think so. I'm pretty sure. Lesley Logan 7:01  I know somebody else, like, somebody already thought, like, you do an expansion deck, and I was like, we're not doing that. Don't just. Nope. But never say never. So here's the deal, go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, because only those on the waitlist get access to the presale price. The presale price is a short time window, sometime in the 2025 year, and then you wait while we wait for them to print and ship to you, and you get them for the best price. So opc.me/flashcardwaitlist. Brad Crowell 7:27  Yep, yep, yep. Next up, I am hosting a webinar coming up really soon, called the Pilates Studio Growth Accelerator. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator. That's profit without the O dot biz slash accelerator, if you're feeling at all stuck in your business, if you are wondering why you can't bring in more clients or make the money that you want to be making, we're going to be covering all those things. Lesley and I have coached more than 2000 businesses through our agency coaching program, and we boiled it down to these three big secrets, y'all, and I'm going to be digging into them live with you on this free webinar. So go to prfit.biz/accelerator. And finally.Lesley Logan 8:08  Last up for the year. The last thing of the year is the winter tour, and actually goes into the new year. So we actually kick off the year on tour. Brad Crowell 8:15  On the road. Lesley Logan 8:16  And we're doing 23 cities, and like 35 days. We want to see you. We're probably going to be somewhere where you live, and maybe somewhere you're visiting. And so yes, you can come to multiple cities. We had one person do three stops in the summer tour. Brad Crowell 8:26  We did.Lesley Logan 8:27  And several people do two stops on the summer tour. So go to opc.me/tour to make sure you don't miss out on when we release the cities. Brad Crowell 8:33  Love it. All right. Before we get into it here, pretty soon, we're going to be covering what Dr. Jordin Wiggins was digging into about pleasure, which I thought was really cool. But before we get there, let's get to the audience question today. Instagram, we have Professional Acro on Instagram asked, hey, in your YouTube videos, do you have an intermediate level chair 1-2 in order? And also, quick questions, please. If there are any special order for the Spine Corrector. Thank you so much. So it's kind of a twofer, right there.Lesley Logan 9:07  She has a twofer in there, like, how she snuck it in. So Joe Pilates did, and by the way, I sometimes say Joseph, but then I hear Jay on my shoulder. His name is Joe, not Joseph. I mean, it was, he was born Joseph. But there's like, a special like, just like, just like he was blue collar. It's Joe, right? Brad Crowell 9:26  He's Joe. Lesley Logan 9:26  So Joe Pilates did not have an order on the Chair or the Spine Corrector. Now, there are series that can have orders to them. On the Wunda Chair, there isn't really like, except for footwork, there isn't really, like, any order to any of the other series you, I mean, obviously the press down series, you can do front side crossover. That's typically what people do, because it makes a lot of sense. But you can also just do side just to cross over. So there's that. On the Spine Corrector there are, there is the leg series, and there's the arm series. And they have an order, which, by the way, are in the barrels deck (inaudible) and that is out. It has been shipping for a while now. I'm so excited about it. So that those do have orders and the series. But again, you omit what's not appropriate for your practice yet, and then you stay in that order. But the other thing about Joe was that he didn't have the levels. So I definitely don't have what you're looking for.Brad Crowell 10:18  There were no levels when Joseph Pilates created contrology.Lesley Logan 10:22  No, I mean, what I tell people in my mentorship program is like, if it's overhead, it's obviously not something to teach someone who's new. There you go. And then if it requires two spine shapes in it, then it might actually be a little bit more difficult than exercise that require one spine shape in it, so that really helps you kind of go, which exercise should I teach first? Just a little common sense. So I don't have what you're asking for on YouTube, but I have everything that exists on the Wunda Chair that Joe taught, and on the Spine Corrector and everything else that Joseph Pilates created as a free video in any of the playlists on the channel, and also, almost all are on the flashcards. The accessories deck is coming.Brad Crowell 11:05  Yeah. And they're also collected really nicely and neatly in one location on our website. So if you go to onlinepilatesclasses.com and go to the tutorials, you will find the section specifically for the chair that you might be looking at, because we've got them broken down across the different types of chairs, even so you could just go to the site and see them all collected together in one place. Yeah. Great question. Thanks for asking that. If you have a question, you can actually text us, 310-905-5534, 310-905-5534. If you live outside of the States, or you just use Instagram more often. Just ping us at the Be It Pod on IG or, obviously, on YouTube. So thanks so much, and stick around. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 11:49  Okay, now let's talk about Dr. Jordin Wiggins. Dr. Jordin Wiggins is a Naturopathic Doctor, Pleasure and Intimacy Coach. She's the author of The Pink Canary and host of the Pleasure Principles podcast. She is dedicated to helping high-achieving women heal feminine burnout and reconnect with their pleasure, empowering them to transform their health and their happiness. I thought this was really cool, because I didn't understand this idea of feminine burnout versus non feminine burnout, and she didn't exactly like clinically describe what that means. But I do. I have a lot, I have a feeling has a lot to do with hormones, too. So, yeah. Lesley Logan 12:26  Well, because she talks about, like, burnout, it leads into constant cortisol production. And when cortisol is high, we know this from a hormone podcast we listen to Brad, progesterone is low. Remember? Right. (inaudible)Brad Crowell 12:41  Progesterone is what helps you sleep and helps you (inaudible).Lesley Logan 12:46  Around your body. It's so awesome. It can make the hormone. It can, like, lead you into your cycle in, like, a great way, or not a great way. Brad Crowell 12:53  Yeah, the cortisol is important. You need it, but, like, we overproduce it because we jack ourselves up with stress and with caffeine and all these other things, and we're just basically out of balance.Lesley Logan 13:04  Yeah, for sure. So here's what's so great. We have an agency member who went on vacation, and she took extra time, and then she found herself in anxiety on the extra days. And now I'm discovering what she didn't do is microdose pleasure, which is what Dr Jordin Wiggins tells us to do. Brad Crowell 13:19  Interesting. Lesley Logan 13:19  She says when you're experiencing feminine burnout, the pleasure center in your brain is turned off. So if you gave yourself all these extra days off, and you've never had them before, you kind of put yourself in a stressful place, because actually, is it going to feel safe? So she, what Dr. Jordin Wiggins is telling us is start to microdose our pleasure slowly and turn up the dial to get it turned back on. That's amazing. Brad Crowell 13:40  Yeah, so there's a clinical, there's a clinical name for this, where pleasure symptoms are turned off. Yeah, that's right, Anhedonia. Lesley Logan 13:48  Anhedonia. We talked there's a great part of the podcast you want to go listen to, like she discovered what that was, and it's the inability to feel pleasure and joy. Brad Crowell 13:55  Yeah, yeah, which is kind of insane, like we chase what makes us feel good, which is usually checking a thing off a list, right? But there comes a point where you're just maxed out on a, on that, and that could take, you know, it seems like that could take a long time to get to, but once you're there, what do you do? You know, you're just stuck, right? So I think it's pretty, pretty interesting to What did she say? Microdose. Lesley Logan 14:17  Microdose. Brad Crowell 14:18  Microdose pleasure to help reintroduce this idea, and just so that y'all know, she did talk about sex, she did talk about the intimacy and physical pleasure, but she also talked about more than just that. She said, that's, of course, part of it, but that's not, that's not what the only part of the conversation we're talking about here. What can bring you joy? What can bring you pleasure from having a glass of water? What can bring you joy from taking a morning walk, enjoying the breeze, like, you know, these other things. Lesley Logan 14:45  Like, if you are going for your morning walk. I did my morning walk, okay, check, go sit in the front of the sunshine, check, like, if you are not actually Brad Crowell 14:53  Got that vitamin D, what's next? Lesley Logan 14:54  Enjoying the moment, I really love when I get lost on a walk and I come back and I'm like, oh, I didn't, because I normally go on Instagram and go, good morning, happy Tuesday. A lot of times lately I just fucking got home go, oh, hey guys, it was a great walk. You missed it. You missed it. It was so pleasurable. I had such a good time.Brad Crowell 15:16  That is, that's pretty funny. Lesley Logan 15:17  What did you love? Brad Crowell 15:18  Okay, so she talked about recognizing burnout, and she explained that hormones a lot of the time, they are a lag indicator, meaning burnout and stress have already impacted the body before hormone imbalances actually show up. It's like they're behind the eight ball here, y'all, another analogy there. But while hormone imbalance and adrenal dysfunction occur, it is compounded, and then it is layered, okay? So by the time you're actually realizing that you're in this place, it has been happening for a while, and it is compounded and it is layered. Okay, so that is, that's a problem. How do we then unfuck that? Basically, right? She emphasized resilience comes from a regulated nervous system, a well-regulated nervous system can handle stress without leading to those hormone imbalances. But one year past that point already, what do you do to come back, right? And that comes right back to what you're talking about, microdosing that joy. Microdosing pleasure. I don't really understand why this is feminine only, because this seems very applicable to me, too. You know I, you know. Lesley Logan 16:22  Jordin, if you're listening, we would like to know. Actually, I, the time we're recording this, tomorrow I'm actually on her podcast. So, not tomorrow in the time you're listening, guys, but the tomorrow and the time that Brad and I are here. Brad Crowell 16:34  Oh, well, you can ask. Lesley Logan 16:35  I'll then ask her. Brad Crowell 16:35  Great. Lesley Logan 16:36  I'll ask her for you. I'll say hey, Brad would like to know why. Brad Crowell 16:39  I would love to know. I would absolutely love to know, because I think that we have adrenals, it's like. Lesley Logan 16:44  And it's also possible, like, she studies women, and she's in a women's clinic, and so that's why she can't just say it's.Brad Crowell 16:50  Yeah, maybe, and she specifically, that's her ICA. Lesley Logan 16:52  Masculine burnout, I don't know. But also, like. Brad Crowell 16:55  That's her ideal client avatar, if y'all (inaudible) study. Lesley Logan 16:58  Yeah, yeah. But also, like, it might just be where she's had more experience in the medicine world she might not have (inaudible) I don't know. Brad Crowell 17:05  Yeah, a well-regulated nervous system can handle stress without leading to hormone imbalances. So how do you get a well-regulated nervous system? She said resilience, right? And we didn't really have a deep conversation about resilience, so I think that's another great question to ask her is, like, how do you build resilience? How do you create a well-regulated nervous system through resilience? What does that actually mean? I'd be interested to learn more.Lesley Logan 17:29  Okay, Dr. Jordin Wiggins. Brad Crowell 17:31  We got notes. We got notes. Lesley Logan 17:32  Apparently, we have more questions. I didn't do a great job. There's two important questions. We'd like you to come back.Brad Crowell 17:38  It's all good. I wasn't gonna rag on you, my dear, you're amazing.Lesley Logan 17:42  I am amazing, but I missed that. So yes, okay.Brad Crowell 17:45  Well, we're gonna dig in even more about what Dr. Jordin Wiggins said in the Be It Action Items. So stick around. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 17:52  Welcome back. All right. Let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Jordin Wiggins? She said hey, pull out your phone. Make a note of things that you can do to help microdose your pleasure. More specifically, make a list of pleasurable activities, right? So when you have built in that downtime for your day, you can pull out your note and you could say what do I actually want to do? She talked about doing a puzzle, reading a book. She didn't mention it, but we did, taking a walk, you know, we. Lesley Logan 18:27  Yeah, I think, I don't know if I talked about this with her, but when my therapist was trying to get me to, like, not work all the time, she was like, okay, I said, I've got the time blocked out. I have time to do nothing, and I can't do nothing. And so she said write down all the things you could do and then just look at it go, when that time comes go, of these things what do I want to do? So you could do the same thing here, you'll make a big list of like, what would feel pleasurable to you? Maybe it's like having a chocolate bar and a glass of wine. I don't know.Brad Crowell 18:55  I mean, that's pleasurable. She talked about reading erotic books, especially if. Lesley Logan 19:00  You guys could read Eliza David's erotic novels. Remember her from the pod? Kellee Forkenbrock, she writes erotic novels that are with a. Brad Crowell 19:08  They were on Amazon for.Lesley Logan 19:10  For like a fucking dollar. Brad Crowell 19:11  That's what I was gonna say, I didn't want to, I didn't wanna throw it out there without confirming. But yeah, I think there was a whole conversation in the last episode about sex being like a chore, checking it off. Okay, did that. Now, I don't have to worry about it, you know? And there's part of this microdosing, microdosing pleasure, that can help rekindle some, like, actual interest. And so reading a book on that can be good.Lesley Logan 19:34  Also, there are so many novels now that don't look like the ones that were sold at grocery stores. That was just like, my grandma always bought all of those.Brad Crowell 19:39  Like, some dude who's some jack dude in front of (inaudible). Lesley Logan 19:42  You mean, Fabio? You mean, like, just Fabio? Brad Crowell 19:44  Yeah or Fabio with long golden hair. Lesley Logan 19:46  Oh, my God, every time Fabio would come to the gym. Brad Crowell 19:48  For those YouTubers. Lesley Logan 19:49  I couldn't look at Fabio. I couldn't look at Fabio because, like, he's on like, the cover of half my grandmother's books, you know what I mean. Or, like, some (inaudible) but also, like, you can microdose it. I'm reading Jodi Picoult's book. My first time reading Jodi Picoult, I'm reading By Any Other Name, and there are some micromoments of erotic pleasure in there. And I was like, oh, this is a fun book. And then I'm like, maybe that, maybe there. So I don't know if you have a fun erotic novel that I should be reading that is not 50 shades of anything. Send it my way. Brad Crowell 20:19  Yeah, reach out. Lesley Logan 20:20  Anyways, go. That's a Be It Action Item. I think it's also fun. Also, like. Brad Crowell 20:23  Yeah, what about you? Lesley Logan 20:23  I'm sure it can also be art. It can be a lot of things. So it doesn't have to be those things. Brad Crowell 20:27  I mean, pleasure can even be taking a break, right? Like we. Lesley Logan 20:32  I, do you know what I do every morning that I find pleasurable? Brad Crowell 20:34  Tell me. Lesley Logan 20:35  I don't do it every day of every year, but in this moment, what I'm finding pleasure in is doing the diffusers. We have two in the house. Brad Crowell 20:42  Oh, I noticed them. (inaudible)Lesley Logan 20:43  And I also do my humidifier for my beautiful plants. And then sometimes during the day, I'm like, this just feels boring. And I'm like, what would make this more fun? Or what would this make, would this work more pleasurable? And I will find a playlist that I want to listen to, and I don't listen to my earbuds. I listen to it on a speaker. Brad Crowell 21:01  In the room. Lesley Logan 21:02  In the room, so it takes up this ambiance, and it's so fun. Brad Crowell 21:06  That's cool. That's pleasure. What's your biggest takeaway? Lesley Logan 21:09  Okay, so we talked about this, but she, this is a Be It Action Item for you. And here it is. Ask yourself how can I make this moment more pleasure? Brad Crowell 21:16  That's right. Lesley Logan 21:16  So you can take a list of things that could be pleasurable, or how could I make the moment right now more pleasurable, the moment that I'm in in this moment. And pleasure can be erotic, or it can just be pleasure is also another word for joy, fun, enjoyment. So if you have to clean the kitchen, like, what can make that more pleasurable? Would it be but more fun to be in, like, cozy sweats with some really great music? Would it be more fun to like, have your favorite beverage? I don't know. Like, what would make it more pleasurable? Would it be more fun if your partner was naked. I don't know these things. Try them out. And then she said incorporate small pleasurable tweaks into daily life. So what little tweaks, little microdoses, can we do to feel better? So start with microdoses. This is a Be It Till You See it, not a like, 100% it. And by the way, Erin Hatzikostas' 50% Rule, and apply it to pleasure in this moment, and I bet you'll have a little bit more pleasurable moments. I'm just saying.Brad Crowell 22:06  I love it. Lesley Logan 22:07  So take a listen to Dr. Jordin Wiggins and if you like her, you can go listen to the episode I'm going to be on on her podcast. I don't know what we're talking about.Brad Crowell 22:17  It's called Pleasure Principles. Like, the pod. We'll put the link in the show notes. Lesley Logan 22:22  Yeah, we will. I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 22:24  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 22:25  How are you going to use these tips in your life? Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for downloading. Share this with a friend. If you've got a friend who's just always saying, like, I'm so burnt out, they need to hear this. Brad Crowell 22:35  I want to know how many of you are going to make your husband be naked in the kitchen? Lesley Logan 22:39  Okay, you don't. Do you really want to know this, Brad? No, you don't. He's joking. He's joking. He's joking. Also.Brad Crowell 22:49  That's just funny. Lesley Logan 22:51  We have these like.Brad Crowell 22:53  I might not ever be able to meet your husband.Lesley Logan 22:54  No, don't tell. Brad Crowell 22:55  So, don't tell me. Lesley Logan 22:56  Don't tell him, uh, keep it to yourself. That's what's pleasurable about it. But we do have, I'm gonna keep, not keep this to myself, we have this film on the glass that like you can't really see in our house unless it's at night when the lights are on. And sometimes I think you forget that. Brad Crowell 23:11  Me? Lesley Logan 23:12  Yes. Brad Crowell 23:14  Maybe.Lesley Logan 23:14  Because we don't have any window treatments.Brad Crowell 23:17  Not telling y'all where I live.Lesley Logan 23:19  Oh, okay. Also, hopefully our neighbors don't listen. Um, my dad asked if one of our neighbors still is naked in the backyard. And I said, not that I've seen because I don't look there. Since I know that.Brad Crowell 23:33  I'm pretty sure he must have seen me on the roof and been like, well, last time we're doing this. Lesley Logan 23:37  No, it's not because my dad saw him back there, walk out, go into their fish pond, grab a fish out with his hand, and, like, walk back in the house, totally naked. Brad Crowell 23:45  What? I love this guy.Lesley Logan 23:47  Yeah, here's what I want to say. I was like, well, dad, he wants his tanning even. But here's what I just want to say, he has no fucks to give. That is pleasurable for him, and there's no shame in it. I'm not looking because it's not pleasurable for me. Brad Crowell 23:59  I mean, he's like, 75 so, yeah. Lesley Logan 24:01  Minimum. So what I would just say is, like, walk around your house naked. Brad Crowell 24:05  That's awesome. Lesley Logan 24:05  You know what? Walk in your backyard naked. It's if people see it, they were looking in your yard. Brad Crowell 24:10  That's right. Lesley Logan 24:11  And your windows. That's (inaudible) for that. All right? I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 24:15  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 24:16  Thank you so much. Brad Crowell 24:21  This is immediately gonna turn into a favorite episode.Lesley Logan 24:32  And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 25:19  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 25:22  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 26:04  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 26:09  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 26:13  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 26:21  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 26:24  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well
Be It Till You See It with Lesley Logan [Ep. 104]

Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2024 42:18 Transcription Available


Do you ever feel like you're faking it? What if you could just be where you wanted to be and not feel like an imposter doing all the things? This is exactly what Pilates instructor extraordinaire Lesley Logan and I discuss today. She is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com.Lesley and I share practical tips on how to integrate the "Be It Till You See It" philosophy into everyday life, such as prioritizing self care and oh by the way–what even is self care?? This is like the conversation with your best friend about how to take care of yourself in the way you've always dreamed of! More from Well with Lisa:Your Go-To Meal Guide: grab it HERESchedule your free strategy/coaching session: wellwithlisa.as.meWant YOUR weight loss question answered on the podcast?  Fill out this google form HERELet's be friends! Follow me on instagram:  @well_with_lisaJoin the waitlist for group coaching HEREMore from Lesley Logan:Website: lesleylogan.coInstagram: @be_it_podBe It Till You See It podcast: listen HEREFree Pilates Challenge! About Lesley:Lesley Logan, a 2nd generation certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogof Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesleyshe's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Connect with Lesley on instagram @lesley.logan or through the contact page.

las vegas fill pilates lesley logan teaching pilates be it till you see it be it till you see
Be It Till You See It
240. Finding Meaning Through Intentional Living

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2023 10:34


Ever been hit with a lightning bolt of insight? Learn how to harness those ‘Aha!' moments as fuel to craft your ideal life. Join Lesley as she cheers on all kinds of victories, from listening to your instincts to making flexible scheduling changes. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The impact of trusting your gut instinct and teaching from the heartHow freeing up your brain space makes you present in the moment to pursue activities you love.Understanding the importance of being intentional to build consistent communities and connectionsThe role of “Aha!” moments in recognizing what actions to take toward positive change.Episode References/Links:Mentions, Jennifer Thind, agency and eLevate memberMentions, Olivia Walton, an eLevate memberMentions, UK Claire, agency and eLevate member  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code LESLEY15Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:10  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:10  Fuck yeah. Get ready for some wins.Lesley Logan 0:10  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Oh my goodness, welcome back to the FYF episode. Be It babe, thank you so much for being here. I love the way to drop these little mini doses of inspiration. Good to hear, maybe a win of yours, good to hear a win of another listener who could be a friend or who might be a friend someday. I just hope that these let you up and if they do let me know, you know? Let us know in the reviews or let us know in a DM, however, you can also send us an email back, we love to hear how these episodes are affecting your life and how you celebrate yourself. Alright, so first, some listener wins and then mine. So, here we go. All right, Jennifer Thind, she is an Agency and eLevate member, so I get to see her in a couple places. FYF, I picked up a new client today who has scoliosis, and she bought a package. I was super nervous about, with my trusted instincts to teach the body in front of me. I also got a referral today which feels so good. So far the referrals are flying in, I'm starting to get really busy. Soon I'll need to invest in the scheduling app Lesley has. Feeling grateful and blessed. I love that so much. I love it so much. I think, like, any teacher who can trust their gut instinct when they're, when they're teaching and looking at the body in front of them instead of, like, what does my manual say? Oh my god, huge win. Huge. Oops, sorry. Okay, thank you so much Jennifer for sharing that with us. I'm so so happy to hear that and I also love that the referrals are coming in. That is a testament to the work that you're doing with the people that you have. That is amazing. And that's exactly what we always want for our people. So yay. Next FYF is from Olivia Walton. She is an eLevate round two. Her wid today is that I'm feeling so energized despite having a ton on my plate. My boss is on vacation so I'm helping run the studio and teaching her classes and so she can have a break. Still teaching my regular client hours and choreographing my first show for our mainstage theatre company. Which means five hours of rehearsal at night after teaching, eLevate has helped me free up so much brain space that used to be filled with worry perfection, lesson plans, and allowed me to take on more things that I love with less stress. Even though I'm working what feels like a million hours I'm having a blast teaching, choreographing and even doing admin and laundry for the studio. Just feeling super blessed for the peace of mind lately. Love you all. Olivia, oh my god, I love you. That makes me so happy. That is exactly what eLevate is for, it's to really help take off this pressure of perfection and planning and worry and allow you to be present in the moment. My goodness. My goodness. You know, they say anxiety comes from when we are living in the future and, like, planning sessions is living in the future. And so giving you the opportunity to be present with your clients is humongous. You can do these other things that you love. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. All right, loves, I got one more for you from UK Claire. She has been an Agency for several years now. And, as you know, she like had another massive win a few weeks ago that I shared with you and I want to share this other one. Because again, I think it's so important that we understand that wins come in all sizes. So you might have thought her cottage was this humongous win, which is such a huge one. But this is as huge as win, so, ready listen to this. UK Claire says, I've taught every Thursday night for 20 years with the exception of cover for a few weeks of holiday and my six month Matt leave I took with one of my three boys. Thursday was a cornerstone evening for me that I built my business on, tonight I'm celebrating the wid that I've gradually extracted myself hour by hour and it's my first Thursday night. This means I only work one night that's huge. So she is no longer working on Thursday nights. She's now only has to work one night a week. 20 years of teaching holy frickin Molly, Claire, thank you for sharing this with us. Again, it's just so like some, this is a humongous win for those who understand what it's like to like try to change the schedule to be more like you're like what you're desiring and also that the life that you're living requires. And it's important that we get to share this with everyone listening that when you make a schedule change, to reflect more about how you need to work with your life. That is a massive win. Maybe it's not like something like Facebook's gonna care about cuz it's not a new cottage, right? but it's a massive win in the life and it's a domino effect with the people around you. So thank you for sharing that with us so we could share with the group because I want to inspire more people to celebrate wins like this. So thank you. All right, loves, my win. So, my win this week is actually more of an epiphany. And I think we should celebrate epiphanies. So I have been hobby hunting. As you know, if you've listened this podcast for two years, I've been hobby hunting. And yes, I did enjoy rock climbing. And yes, I'm going to keep doing that, we're going to be intentional about that. At first, I was like waiting for us to have a time to be in town long enough to make the membership worth it. Because there's these commitments. Have you ever seen those memberships were like, well, if you sign up for this much, it's this price. And so Brad and I typically are like, well, we'll get that one because that's like a bet. It's a great deal. And then we'll just, you know, we'll go this much, and we'll use it. And the truth is, is that like, we don't have that capacity to enjoy that membership. And so we haven't actually gone to sign up for it, because we're going to be out of town. And I was like, No, I think we need more intentional and we just need to pick the membership that will work for us right now, even though it is getting more expensive, because that it's important for us to have this hobby. So that's one win, we are going to go get that membership, we're just gonna pay for one month at a time and use it on the months that we were actually here most of the month. And that's it. And, you know, it's not, it's not how I love to make a habit and a hobby, but it's actually the way that works for us today. And it's so important to own those opportunities, we can't be all or nothing in this life and think that it's going to be a wonderful thing and happy thing. Another epiphany I had is, you know, I have this lovely life that I'm so grateful for in Las Vegas, and I have amazing friends around the whole world. But I actually like I have several friends here in Vegas that I truly love to see and I hang out with and I see regularly. But I am searching for this like more consistent community that I had in LA (...) I know you're like violent LA community what? Yeah, actually, actually, if you build your life, the way you want it in LA, LA is a phenomenal place. And I love my entire time that I had there. Well, I'll say from 2013 to 2020, it was like my favorite seven years of the 14 I was in there. They're all great. But those just the community I had for those seven years was phenomenal. And I created that. And what I haven't been able to have is that similar, like can't wait to see you on a Tuesday morning kind of a thing. This, like I saw this person every single Tuesday. And that was kind of our thing together. And I saw these girls every single Wednesday. And I had this epiphany with Brad I was like I think what I am missing, I keep calling it hobby hunting, but what I am missing is these, like, I had these morning touchpoints with these women who really inspired me. And I don't know that it's going to be something I do here in Vegas, it might be these morning touchpoints that I do with friends on phone calls for a while, I'm gonna have to make it work for me, and I'm gonna have to explore that. But I don't have to actually know the answer right now. So when number three is I don't have to actually know the answer right now. But when the most important thing is I've had this epiphany of like, that's what I'm missing. That's what I'm missing in my life. And that's what I wanted to be more intentional about. And I am committed to spending the rest of this year trying to figure out how do I get that feeling of like, I know what day of the week it is, and have these female relationships, connections that are intentional, that I start my day with, that I can have on a regular basis. And so maybe that's having a regular phone call with the girlfriend, which when number four is that I had a touch point with one of my girlfriends who doesn't live here that we've, we used to talk once a week and then life got really busy. And we're like, you know what? let's just pick a day. And let's just be intentional about it. Because we both walk our dogs, let's just walk our dogs at the same time on the phone. And so, I think, you know? sometimes don't celebrate a win till it's completely done, till something's completely, it's actually completely completed, fully completed. But it's absolutely necessary that we celebrate the win in the moment of the aha, aha, that's, that's what I'm missing. And what can I do in this moment? What can I do right now to start to flick the first domino on that journey? And, so, proud of myself, did that. Super happy about that there's an episode coming out with Nicole eventual that it you'll see why it's like so important to take action in the day and the first day, because it's so easy to postpone these things. So I hope that you celebrate the aha moments in your life. I hope you celebrate the epiphanies. I hope you celebrate the idea. And not and you don't wait. Please don't wait until you have completed the whole thing. Can you imagine if artists only celebrated when the art was done? In fact, for most artists art is never done so then they would never ever celebrate. Like can you imagine that? That would be a terrible world to live in. So thank you so much for listening to the Be It pod. We could not do this podcast without listeners like you. We want to know what your wins are. Send him to the Be It pod and make sure that you let us know what your favorite guests were, what your takeaways were, how you are being it till you see it. It's our favorite thing to know these things. And until next time, Be It Till You See it. That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.  I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.  Brad Crowell 9:53  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 9:53  It is produced, edited by the Epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 9:53  Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 9:53  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 9:53  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
222. Unleashing Determination and Taking Action for Your Dreams

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2023 16:01


Discover Lesley's inspiring journey as she and Brad achieved their goal, and turned their dream house into a reality. Join Lesley as she shares valuable insights and actionable advice on conquering perfectionism and manifesting your aspirations.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How having a strong family goal can motivate you to work harder and achieve your goals. Overcoming fear of failure, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome.How Lesley and Brad redefined their goals in order to achieve their dream house. How to get specific on what you want and why you want it.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan: [00:00:00] It's Fuck Yeah friday.Brad Crowell: Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan: Get ready for some wins.Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.All right. Fuck Yeah Friday. Hi babes. How are you? How's it going? Okay, so this is actually my first recording back since we got back from Korea. And I haven't been able to share a win with you [00:01:00] that happened a couple weeks ago. So, I'm gonna share one of the most amazing wins of Brad and I's entire life with you in just a moment.But first, of course, as always, I share your wins. So if you have a win you want me to announce, I wanna share it, it's so fun. And it also is like the best way to start your weekend, don't you think? So, like Fuck Yeah Friday is actually something that a friend of mine taught us all when I was under my first mastermind years ago.And I was like, yeah, FYF. And I've been doing it ever since, like, I think it's like 2018. And it's a thing we do in AGENCY and it's a thing that we do in OPC and it's a thing we do in eLevate. It's a thing we do in my household and it's hopefully a thing that you're doing because of this podcast and I truly would love to know.So, you know, let me know by sending your wins in. So first win, let me pull this up. We had a couple wins from you guys I wanna share, because actually while I was gone, there's just like a ton of wins that came through. So I'm gonna, I'm going to catch up on a lot of 'em. So the first one is from, we call her UK Claire, Claire Sparrow.This is the [00:02:00] woman, oh gosh, I've known her for years now. She's an agency for a long time and we actually are gonna be at her place in Leads this summer. So I cannot wait to see her in real life. You've also heard her on the podcast, so this is actually someone you've heard before and she's one of our favorite episodes you've all listened to. So, UK Claire, here she is. I've been working. I've been looking forward to sharing this week's win. It's been a corker. It must be a British thing. When I joined AGENCY in August, 2019, we had a dream as a family to own our own cottage in Scotland. With all that I have learned, I was able to take it from a dream to a goal and build the steps in the business that not only fulfilled my mission to help more women with chronic pelvic floor dysfunction, but also earned enough income to make a deposit for our dream cottage.What I realized is that the big win is having a really strong family goal, made me push harder for my business goals, so I actually help way more women than I could have ever imagined. Today, my husband is eight hours from our leads home collecting the keys to our cottage in (...) [00:03:00] Northeast Scotland.Forgive my pronunciation. There are no words for how happy I am and how fueled I am to push further and set bigger goals. That said, I had a goal to write a book after a client said to me last year, you have a voice of hope. You are the voice of hope. She shared how it was my positivity and outlook that helped give the optimism that women can take charge of their pelvic health and that there is a non-surgical solution to prolapse.Confirmed when I did a kickass promotion with existing clients, refer a friend, and out of almost 400 women, one referred their mom. This was so sad because whilst women talk nonstop in my group, they don't talk out with outside the group. It reinforced the need to get a book out there. And to reach more women.So this week I completed the 45,000 word manuscript of my book ready for the Editor to start on Monday. I can't believe it. As a dyslexic, I lack so much confidence in my written work and my need to get the message out was a way stronger. So I have felt all the feels there have been a lot. [00:04:00] She's felt all the feels and there have been a lot. I was invited by Brent Anderson to speak on Pilates Hour podcast in July, which just so happens to be when the book launches, which is great timing. I taught a class for international brand Neom that has just gone live on their Facebook wellbeing group.And asked for help. My goal for the year, my team stepped up without hesitation this week to cover my classes and clients to give me space I need to work on my book and deal with a sudden family illness. My middle son got the cast off his arm and it is healed well. So that is like 17 wins. But I just wanna like highlight a couple things really quickly.She had a family goal she was so specific on, it made her work harder in her own business goals, which helps her help more women with their pelvic floor dysfunction, which helped her find women that told her you should write a book. And then she wrote a book and now she's helping even more women with her mission that she's doing on this earth , and because she has seen her goals, her vision, her mission become reality. She's now even more motivated. So you all, it is so important to have these [00:05:00] goals, and I'll talk about that more in my win. But let me go onto another win because if you're like, what is all that? I don't know, that doesn't relate to me, which I hope it does because my gosh, Claire, way to fucking go.You're phenomenal. And I love your family so much and I cannot wait to hang out with you in July when your book is launching so we can celebrate in real life. Bianca, who's from Canada, Also an AGENCY member. She had two clients buy packages this week, you guys, this was right after our coaching call where she was like, I think I might need to get a part-time job.And I was like, well, what are the things that we're doing? Here's the things you could be doing instead. So she booked two, two clients, bought packages this week. She had a client buy an intro session for next month. So I was like in advance. And now she's in touch with a physiotherapist for competitive athlete, LA athletic client.And it sounds like she wants to come with a long-term plan, incorporating Pilates into her routine. She's fucking put herself out there. Way to go, Bianca. It's not done. She's got more wins. She attended a local women's networking event last night and connect with a few women who wanted her business card.That's humongous. And she's going to Niagara Falls to celebrate her wedding [00:06:00] anniversary with her Hu husband. So love the business, love the personal wins, and also way to put yourself out there, Bianca. I know it's so hard, you guys, it's so hard for your business to grow. Like there's ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows, and sometimes it's like, why am I even doing this anymore?And it's like, get out there again and try again. And. Boom, look what happened. Alright, one more win for you all before mine. So this is Lisa McDonald's. Here it is. Hi Wins. I became C P T certified today and I'm celebrating. It's been a goal of mine since I finished my comprehensive certification with Balanced Body in 2020.It took me so long to sign up and take it. Why? Because of fear failure, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome. Once I took the leap and, and signed up for it, I assumed I would pass given all the awesome education, Balanced Body, comprehensive and eLevate program gave me, and of course, practice personal with some of you and with clients.Glad I took the leap and did it. I didn't get a hundred percent, which kind of upset me. Got to keep working on the perfectionism thing. Old habits are hard to break, so an effort to break the habit [00:07:00] and able to call myself recovering perfectionist. I'm sharing the information with you today, as well as writing so hard.Here's a pass, an exam. Accepting less than perfect. Two wins because perfect is boring, right? Yes, it is boring, Lisa. And also like, who needs a hundred percent on it? No one cares. No one cares. I hate to break this up, all of you, but like, yes, being an N C P T certified instructor is amazing because it does mean that you actually are truly a certified instructor.You took a third party exam, but no one actually cares what your score was. No one's gonna ever ask you. No one has ever asked me to see my certificates in general. But, so I understand as a recovering perfectionist as well, why you wanted to feel that way. I definitely did not get a hundred percent myself either.And so wouldn't you believe it doesn't really matter. But I love that you took the test. I love that you felt the feelings and I love that you are using this experience as a way to like recover from being perfect because it is boring and you're not boring, Lisa. So thank you to all of these members, eLevate an AGENCY for sharing [00:08:00] these wins with everybody so I could share them with our listeners. Alright now. Let me tell you my wins. So my win, it's a big one. And you, you may have already seen it because I did post this early because it happened in between me being able to record and going to Korea.So back in 2020, Brad and I well, we had this opportunity when our entire life, like many peoples was canceled, like our entire schedule was canceled. So a lot of people, you know, they had to work from home instead of going into the office, but like, our entire year was canceled. So all of the countries that we had workshops in, contracts in, all of the retreats after March, we did that one.My studio shut down, which my goals for the year was like, it was in... In March, I knew I was going to give half of my clientele away to my renters and just keep a few of my people. But the fact that I didn't actually get to say goodbye or didn't get to tell them that in person was a little rough.And at any rate, you know, I [00:09:00] know that you're listening to this and you had an interesting 2020 as well, so I know you get this. So in April of 2020, we like sat down and like redefined our goals for our future with this like, new, interesting way of doing things. And we wrote down what we wanted our dream home to be in Las Vegas.We knew how many rooms we wanted. We knew what kind of house we wanted it to be. We knew what each room was gonna do. We did all these things that we like truly like got down and dirty with how much it would cost, how much we could spend, how much we could afford, everything. Right? And we did this with one of my past guests, Kareen Walsh here on the podcast.And then in May, we actually had enough money to make that happen. At least make a deposit, a down payment on a house happen. But we actually didn't have, we didn't have like the history that banks wanna loan money to because we worked for ourselves. No bank wants to get a mortgage to people who work for themselves.And we were for ourselves in the state of California, which means we like [00:10:00] definitely wrote as much off as we could because we truly wanted to hire a team. And so that meant we had to spend a lot of money investing on our team and not in ourselves. So we were not ideal candidates for buying a house.So because of amazing people in this world, we had connected with someone who helps entrepreneurs get into houses. And he does that by doing contracts to deeds or like basically like a rent to own and, sure enough I wanted to move into our house on June 1st, 2020. Like, that was like my deadline. I was like, June 1st, we must move by June 1st.And so we did. We actually found a house nine days before June 1st. And saw it in real life. We drove out. We found it was like exactly like, it was amazing. And by June 1st we were moving in and that was amazing. But we had three years to get a mortgage. We had three years to qualify for a mortgage.And that can sound easy if one of your people in your relationship is a W two. And while we both have W two s, cause we're both employees of our own business, we still run our own business. [00:11:00] And so therefore, still not ideal candidates. And then also like, you know, we're elder millennials, we had student loans, we had debt, we like hello, trying to like survive, you know, nine 11 and recessions and all of that stuff.And so there's a lot that we had to overcome in a very short period of time. And we had an amazing team that we had helping us make every single decision there ever could be around how you spend your money. We had somebody telling us like, like we made sure we evaluated everything. We bought a van, we did this, we got a loan for the business, we did this.We did everything in a way to make sure that we could get a mortgage by the time we needed to. 18 months ago, we started the process of trying to get a mortgage and multiple mortgage brokers, like literally didn't return our calls. I'm talking multiple and we just kept going cause I was like, we can pay.We are paying for this cost for now. Like we can't do it. We are being it till we see it. I am not fucking letting this house go. You don't get to manifest something and then live in it and [00:12:00] then it gets taken away. Like I was like, we were not gonna let this happen. So at any rate, we did find some mortgage broker who believed he could help us and it took him 10 months.I took our CPA multiple filings and we were able to, by the grace of actually like the FHA, the government changing what they would do, like there was a whole process that goes into it. So whenever you see anybody like making the goal happen, I want you to know like they're not lucky. They work their fucking ass off.Okay. And I say that from a place of so much love. I say that from a place of like, just reminding you that you can have what you want. It is preparation and really, truly getting super clear on what you want and why you want it, and not giving up until it happened. So I want you to go back to uk Claire's, even her win.Like that dream that she had, that wasn't luck that got her there. It was hard work of building a team, of [00:13:00] getting people to hear her message and staying on mission. It was, the truth is, is that we didn't just start working 18 months on this. We started working from June 1st, 2020, on getting this mortgage and it took us 18 months to get it.And here, oh my gosh. Here's, okay, so here's the actual win. So we had Meridith's wedding to go to and we came home for 26 hours. We had to sign the mortgage on that day, on May 15th, we had to sign it because we're gonna be gone for what was supposed to be only 11 days, ended up being almost 13 days, and then there was a holiday weekend.So like it would just, the contract would've expired by the time if we had waited any longer. And we, I mean, got ourselves by the last minute or the last client on the last possible day, we could sign this mortgage, sign this mortgage and the house that you have been seeing pictures of, the house that we live in, the house we talk about all the time, the cactuses that Brad talks about.This house is our house. We're not renting this house. There's no deadline anymore. Like we got this house and I'm so [00:14:00] proud of Brad and I, but I'm also so grateful for the massive, amazing team and the effort we put in. I share this one with you because if you can get super specific on what you want and why you want it, I promise you, there's no stopping you.I promise you, there's no stopping you. I promise you won't let anything get in the way. You will move heaven and earth to make that happen. And I share this one with you because I do hope that you do that. I want you to experience moving heaven and earth to have the win that you wanna have to have, the thing that you wanna have to have, the life that you wanna have, cuz you deserve it and you're amazing.Thank you so much for letting me share this FYF with you today. It's a little bit longer one, I apologize, but I needed to share it with you because, because that's like this entire house was being it till we see it, the whole last three years was literally being it till we see it to live in this house.So being until you see it works, thank you so much and until next time, you need to Be It Till You See It. Have a good day. That's all I [00:15:00] got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See it is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan: It is produced and edited by the Epic team at Disenyo Brad Crowell: Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website.And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.[00:16:00] Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
219. Acknowledging the Journey and Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2023 9:24


Lesley shares her listeners' journey of becoming a Pilates teacher and getting the job they manifested. Tune in to find out why you should stop self-sabotaging and start making time for what you want.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Reflecting on the journey to becoming a better teacher.How the Remember When game worked for Allison at landing a job. How Lesley overcame overwhelming challenges and self-sabotage.Making the time and creating a “Fuck It” list.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript: Lesley Logan: [00:00:00] It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell: Fuck yeah! Lesley Logan: Get ready for some wins.Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Brad Crowell: Hello. Welcome to Fuck Yeah Friday. I'm so happy you're here. You're fucking awesome. Do you know that? Do you tell yourself that? You are amazing. If you're not watching this on YouTube, I looked you right in the eye. I'm like, you are amazing. If you're listening [00:01:00] to this, I'm looking at you from the sky.You are amazing. So, as you know, I share one of yours. I share one of mine. So here we go. So, first one is from Lisa. She has a T L D R. Lisa is in our eLevate round three. So eLevate is my mentorship for Pilates instructors and she's in the third round and this is her T L D R first. And then I'll share the whole win cuz it's not too long to read.So she's like, I got to crow. Um, first I got to meet my Pilates partner, crystal and was blessed with a fantastic session. I was feeling so grateful to have her model for me, how to get me moving. So it happened to side note. Her partner Crystal was teaching her. Okay. Um, back to her win, to get me moving into my body with a sense of ease and knowing she's exactly the teacher I aspire to be.And when it was my turn, I just allowed myself to be as I was without putting myself down. That's my little win. This is my big win. All right. This is her big one. Are you [00:02:00] ready? So she watched herself teach. I need to tell you a little side note, in eLevate we have them, I have them do assessments. They have to film themselves and themselves teaching, and I give feedback on their teaching.So anyways, she watched her video back and she's like, I let myself feel the cringe and to judge and notice what I wanted to change and see all the things I could improve. In parentheses. Hello? Over cue over. Coeur over coeur all over the place. Let me tell you all the things, verbose teacher that I am in parentheses during this process, so many things came up.Such a sense of shame of not being where I expected myself to be on my teaching journey. I started teacher training at Balanced Body in 2017 and finished in 2019. The story I was telling myself was that I have been at this for five years. Why am I not a better teacher? I want it. I watch all these younger teachers doing their teacher training at different places, and then they kill it leading the class and owning it.I'm jealous and [00:03:00] admiration at their ability to cue with clarity and move bodies where I am just now feeling solid enough. And then it dawned on me. Have you really been teaching for five years? Not really. Hello Pandemic. Five years elapsed and diminished teaching hours to practically nothing. Have I really done all the things to improve my teaching? Emphatically, no, I jumped and I figured it out on a lonely process. Did I shout shadow teachers? Hardly. Did I ask for feedback on my teaching? Maybe once or twice. Did I take my own class? Hell no. And this is what surprised me most of all, despite the uncomfortable exercise, I watching myself, it made me so happy because this whole process has already been so informative.Plus, I now get to do all the things in this supportive environment. And then I remembered the hard stuff. Becoming a better teacher wasn't a priority until recently, because I was caring for my mom whose breast cancer had metastasized when she passed away in December, 2021. Oh yeah, that and [00:04:00] all this to say, becoming a better teacher is fucking hard and courageous.Lesley Logan: So yay to all of us for signing up on this journey. I'm so being it with all of you and happy dancing, Lisa. You're fucking awesome. I'm so happy you're part of round three. And this is exactly, like, your win is exactly why eLevate exists. You're exactly who I taught. I brought this for because my goodness, very few people have had a training journey that is ideal.And also we see things that others. That they've not seen in themselves and we put them on a pedestal and we don't realize how fucking awesome we are. So thank you for sharing this. I also have one more one cuz I do need to update you on the journey of Allison. So y'all remember her FYFs cause I've been sharing them along the way and, y'all, she applied for her position at Washington University. She asked for she wanted, and she, um, and she was like, Ugh, I went on the interviews and all the things, and she was afraid that they didn't go so [00:05:00] great. But then she got the job. She got it. So then, what'd she do? She immediately put her notice in, took a two week vacation to see her husband who's in another country for a while, and is gonna be starting a job.That's exactly what she wanted. So she played that Remember When game, and it worked. So maybe you should too. Okay, so now let me tell you my win. So my win, y'all is this, we had these trips planned for us to go to a wedding in Philly. We had to go to Korea. As you know, I've been telling you about these wins.You also know about my way about going to Connecticut, and I had said yes, even though I had all these things coming up. Also, we had hired this amazing company to help us with a project that we wanted to do, and that meant I had to do more filming. So for me to film the amount of content we film for our companies in a month is about 70 pieces of content, and that doesn't include [00:06:00] all the tutorials I refilm when I do flashcards, which I was doing.So in the month of April, I only filmed all of April's 70 pieces of content. I also finished filming all the exercise tutorials for the chair slash cards, which are shipping in June. And I filmed all of May's content. Yes. All of that. And as I'm recording this for you, I just wrapped up the stuff I had a film for this company and I have to tell you, there was a couple times when this part of me, this old part of me, this part of me that I've been trying to like let go of who was like gets a little perfectionist about things when things don't go well and things a little freaked out, that it's not gonna work out.And I like almost sabotage myself. Well, I didn't do it. And I finish it all. I'm so fucking proud of it. And I share this with you because it is a journey to get your stuff done. It's a journey. And you, when the pressure is on, you can be so hard on yourself and the [00:07:00] content, and you're like, why am I doing this?I'm just gonna procrastinate. You know what? I'm not even fucking gonna do it. And I was like, no. I committed to doing all these things so I could have a vacation. When I went to jsu, I have this dream and I'm met the right people at the right time, and I told them if they wanna work with me, they have to do X, Y, and Z because I have to be able to get it done before I go.And so I set the bar and they're like, here, we're at the bar. And then I had to meet the bar and I did it, and it wasn't easy. I'm so proud of myself and the team. I'm sharing this win with you because you, there are so many things you wanna do and it's so easy to get in your own way because, ugh, the mic needs to be recharged or it's not good enough.So you think or there's just not enough time in air quotes and my dear there is, you can make the time. If you care about it enough, I bet you could let go of something. Remember that one guest we had who was like, you have to have a Fuck It list. Like, [00:08:00] what are you gonna say, fuck that, I'm not doing it?So you can do the things that are on your bucket list. So thank you for being here. Thank you for letting me share wins of people in my communities. Thank you for letting me share my win, to help inspire you to share your win. And by the way, I wanna hear your wins and I wanna share your wins on the next FYF.So make sure you send them to me. And so we can share them with other people and inspire other people to take messy action, ditch perfection, and Be It Till You See It.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See it is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell: It's written, [00:09:00] filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad crowell.Lesley Logan: It is produced and edited by the Epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell: Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
218. Overcoming Shame in Divorce

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2023 26:48


Uncover the path to healing in this latest recap episode. Tune in as Lesley and Brad share their advice to navigate divorce with confidence and find your tribe of supportive individuals who will empower you to own your story.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How owning vulnerabilities can be powerful and healing.Embracing your journey and transforming it into a superpower to change lives.Setting intentions to find your tribe and allow conversations to help you process.Why paying attention to your financial situation can be freeing. What being the CFO of your own life truly means.Episode References/Links:Menopocalypse: How I Learned to Thrive During Menopause and How You Can Too by Amanda ThebeShe Who Wins by Renee BauerWorld Reef DayThe Hormone Reset Diet by Sara Gottfried, M.D.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipWaitlist for the flashcards deckUse this link to get your Toe Sox!ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Brad Crowell: [00:00:00] It felt like I was wearing this like monster on my back, right? And, but I was great at hiding it, no? And so it, but it, but it didn't help me process. It didn't help me heal. It didn't help me like experience, engagement with other people with this like, truth out there, right? Because like, I felt like they don't, it's none of their business.They don't need to know, but it just kept eating at me, and it wasn't until I began to share with other people, oh yeah, I've actually been going through like a divorce right now. That, that, that was the beginning of healing for me. Lesley Logan: Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity [00:01:00] and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.​Lesley Logan: Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life Brad and I are going to dig into the empowering convo I have with Renee Bauer in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, feel free to pause us now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us.And if you're listening on the O P C app, it's very easy. You can see like all like a bunch of recent episodes all at one time. So you can pick and choose however you want. If you're listening on the other places, I don't know how they work, but it's, you know, what you want to listen to Renee's especially if you've ever like felt like, oh my gosh, I'm embarrassed about this past thing I had in my life.I thought it was so Brad Crowell: great. Yeah. Very liberating. And [00:02:00] also I appreciate the experience that she went through and you know what she's, how she's bringing her experience to other people who are suffering and in need. So that was pretty awesome. Lesley Logan: Yeah, and I was just able to see her in real life at her Brad Crowell: event and... yeah, in case you're wondering what we're alluding to, she's a divorce attorney. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Yeah. Brad Crowell: And she's actually gone through divorce herself Lesley Logan: In case you're listening to this out of order. She's like... (Brad: Right) So her book, She Who Wins, which is also the name of her podcast and also the name of her event, comes out this September.You guys, you can pre-order that book right now. And there's like special goodies that happen if you do pre-order the book and the way books go, loves, is, it all matters on the pre-orders now. So everything's always changing. Brad Crowell: Yeah, that's the truth. Um, yeah. Well, let's just jump right into it. Lesley Logan: So today, Yeah! Is National, International Reef Day.It'slike World Reef Day. Brad Crowell: yeah, So, [00:03:00] not that Lesley and I are surfers by any means... (Brad: but no, but you, we need the reefs). We need the reefs. I'm a big fan of keeping plastics out of the ocean, which is an obviously an incredible it's incredible how much plastic is currently in the ocean. In fact, when we were just flying to Korea on the way we stopped over in Honolulu. We had a layover there. Both ways. And I was watching a really fascinating documentary about the native, bringing back the native Hawaiian culture from like thousands of years. And they talked about the pan Pacific, you know, the ocean as if it was like its own continent. And how, you know, thousands of years ago people jumped on canoes and they explored the oceans bythe stars. Like, could youimagine? Oh my gosh. Like the way that [00:04:00] people took a wagon and drove across North America. Wow. No. they were like, we're gonna go that way and hope that we hit land. Lesley Logan: Yeah. And the, and the scars are moving, but that's fine. Brad Crowell: I mean, pretty intense. Anyway, they, they were, they were talking all about the reefs and it really got me fired up about them again. Lesley Logan: So, so y'all get rid of your sunscreen and make sure you have sunscreen that is safe for, well, this is, I guess if you're going to a pool, do whatever you wanna do.But if you're going into natural waters, you're going into the ocean, you must use a special sunscreen. So if you actually go to this World Reef Awareness Days site, they say you can observe this day by doing beach cleanup. You could become a virtual diver. Which I guess you do virtual tours. What, how is that helping anyways? Don't know this is their suggestion. Well, you probably just, I think once you're aware of things, it's hard to like be an asshole.Then you can make yourown sunscreen that's actually really healthy for the reefs. So those are some things you can do. But truly, honestly, like if you can... Brad Crowell: Just roll in mud, that's your sunscreen.Lesley Logan: I think they have bees wax in there, which is [00:05:00] only concerning because of the bees. We have a problem with the bees shortage and then there's a, y'all, there's a lot of stuff going on.Please be kindto the reefs cuz we actually really do support the ocean's microbiology and it actually affects your life in other ways if you don't, if you live near an ocean.So talk like, you know, do the right thing. Call your friend who's going to the beach and make sure they're not using sunscreen that's gonna kill the reefs. Yeah. Anyways, we also have some other stuff going on right now. So, this is coming outJune 1st. We're a couple weeks away of doing a webinar for Profitable Pilates on how to convert first time clients.So if you are a Pilates teacher or trained to be one. You will want to be at this webinar. Agency members, of course, you get the VIP ticket for free. If you're not an agency member, you can buy a ticket to the live. You'll have a three day replay. You can also, there's opportunities to buy a V I P ticket and also get to keep the replay forever, which is waycheaper than buying it when it's a course.So you'll want to actually go to the show notes below to actually sign up for the wait list or to sign up for [00:06:00] the webinar. Brad Crowell: And if you're watching, if you're listening to this after that's already occurred, get on the wait list anyway, because we do these webinars periodically throughout the year. And they're all, they're on these various topics and all stuff, so you'll be the first to know when you're on the wait list.And we give you all sorts of hookups and stuff, so check out the show notes. Yeah. Lesley Logan: And then in July we have the Mullet tour in the northern part of the UK, Claire Sparrow's studio, which we're so excited about.Brad Crowell: Oh, I cannot wait That's exciting. It's gonna be amazing. Lesley Logan: At the time that we're recording this, we only have four spots left. Brad Crowell: Yeah, I know. It's insane. It's awesome. Yeah. It's so exciting. Lesley Logan: Yeah. And it's a really great small group. We're so, so, so excited about it. In August, we are doing our summer tour.We have not released the cities yet, but we'll release so soon. So make sure youstay tuned. Brad Crowell: Yeah. All right. And then we actually, we, you know, you've heard us talk about all, our, all the rest of our plans and all the things, but yeah,summer tour is gonna be superfun and we've got some exciting news about that coming to you soon, with some sponsors and all sorts of stuff [00:07:00] that's kicking off. So it's gonna be great. But before we do that, let's see, we have an audience question today. From Karen Campbell. Thanks for submittingg this question. Karen is saying I'd be interested to see an episodeabout menopause and specifically how to best support health for premenopausal women with herbal remedies. I saw a few episodes in lineup on women's health and maintaining hormonal balance. So maybe this topic's already been covered. If it hasn't been done, could you bring on a specialist to discuss it? Lesley Logan: So we are working on a menopause expert. To be honest, it's actually been a little tricky.Hmm. So we are working on getting an actual expert just in menopause. So we have, thank you, Karen, for bringing this up. But here's the other thing about pre-menopause and all this stuff. It's so different for every single person. Like it is so different. So here are some, some places you can go for some more information for you right now until you wait.I don't want you to wait for this advice. So here's the thing, there's a book called Menopocalypse. Yes. I'm [00:08:00] trying if you know the author of Menopocalypse everyone. I would like her on the show if she's listening to this, if she's to Google alert, hello, I want you on the show. The book is called Menopocalypse.Even Brad listened to that book as well... (Brad: Idid.) It's really, really helpful. She explains like all the stuff about perimenopause and menopause that I like, a lot of stuff that they just don't talk about. And also the fears that are out there that are ...(Brad: Amanda Thebe) yeah. Thebe. So, hi Amanda. Come on the show.Then also you guys, Sara Gottlieb. I heard her on Huber's podcast. Uh, she has several books out there and she actually has a hormone reset book. I have not done the hormone reset, to be honest. Elimination diets get a little bit hard for their, I have tendencies. I try to avoid those kinds of things. So Brad's been with me on elimination diets.We just are tryingnot to do them anymore. They, Brad Crowell: I just, that's the point where I just tell her it's all in your head, babe. Lesley Logan: No, it's not. So here's the deal. However, my dear friend has done SarahGottlieb's hormone reset [00:09:00] and really did get some value out of it in her peri menopause journey. Cool. So Sara Gottlieb has some great books on hormones, hormonal diet you can do, and also has been on a Huberman talking about that.Hmm. When it comes to herbal remedies, I look, I wish that I could tell you what those are. I'm not actually perimenopausal yet, so I haven't dove into myself. But in Amanda Thebe's book, there was some really great stuff including breath work. So you guys breath work is. Breath work, breath work, breath work.You could just do so much. And for what, what Amanda brought up was box breathing, which is inhale for four. Hold for four. Exhale for four. Hold for four. Brad Crowell: And I do this to go to sleep sometimes. Lesley Logan: Yes. Yes. It's so helpful. But it's very much aboutexpanding the gut and breathing all the way down into your pubic bone.And then when you exhale, she was like, and imagine just like pulling up, you know, your privates up like, a tissue coming out of a box and like that's how you excel. So it's not like the. Force like compressive, but like very much a uplifting exhale. Hmm. And that could be [00:10:00] really, really great. ...(Brad: good visuals.)So, as far as maintaining hormone balance, balance, you guys do not be, like, there's a lot of stuff out there about H R T. It's just hormone replacement therapy.If it works for you, it works for you.Brad Crowell: So, yeah, she, in Amanda Thebe's book, you talked about that and, and yeah, I thought it was an interesting, I'd never even heard of it. So yeah, it was an interesting, like, exposure to what it is, what it could be, what it isn't, how like it's been. You know, there's like good and bad things out there about it. So,218 Renee Bauer RECAP ROUGH: yeah. Lesley Logan: So until I can get a specialist on here, and again, I'm working on it, I'm, it's, I'm trying to find. Someone who schedule lines upwith mine, I would highly recommend those two, those two books. And then also telemedicine's really amazing. There are specialists, there are female doctor specialists in this that will do a telemedicine talk with you, and then you can get some, cream, some hormones, some patches.Um, the other thing is, is like anything you have to be connected to your body. You guys. So if you are someone who's walking around a little bit disconnected, you might not understand that some of the symptoms you [00:11:00] have are perimenopausal. You might be thinking that it's food or that it's stress or something like that.So, just journal what's going on in your body right now. So until you can find the person that really works for you, you can keep a log of how you're feeling on each day cuz then when they ask you how long you've been feeling like this, you don't feel like, I don't know how long I've been feeling Brad Crowell: like this.That's a good point. because that's something you can start right now. For free. For Lesley Logan: free. So Karen, I hope to have a specialist soon. We've had other people wanting a menopause expert. Ihear you. It's coming. And hopefully that gives you some help for right Brad Crowell: now. Loveit. Okay. Now let's talk about Renee Bauer With two decades of experience as a divorce lawyer. Renee has emergedas a powerful advocate in the women's empowerment space. She's forged a platform that bolds her self-worth and champions women's decision making, rooted in empowerment and financialindependence. Lesley Logan: Um, mm-hmm.I'm gonna jump in. Brad Crowell: Do it. Lesley Logan: So, um, I actually loved that she just talked about owning it. [00:12:00] She was like, you know, she was telling her story about how she was like, ashamed to say that she's a divorce twice. Like, and then she just happened to share on a podcast with a friend like that she was, and people are like, oh my God, thank you so much.And she realized that like what she was ashamed of was actually like the thing that helped connect her to most people. And so I really love that she, she is, was a proponent of like, just own the thing that scare, like, makes you worried that people are gonna be ashamed of you because it actually makes you vulnerable and makes people be able to trust you.And as we've talked about, like she's really like, The best person to help everybody decide if they are, should be getting divorced on, like, what their next steps should be because of her experience. Brad Crowell: Yeah. I was encouraged by her, you know, just the fact that she has seen both sides of the equation. And also, you know, like [00:13:00] being an attorney, you know, she's arguing on behalf of her clients, but she can also relate to her clients. I thought that was pretty cool. You know? When I went through my divorce, it was really interesting because I felt all the same things that she was talking about.Shame. She talked about shame. I felt so ashamed that I waseven considering the concept, you know, or that it was actually being like, forced on me cuz I didn't want to do it atfirst. I didn't wanna do it at all, in fact. And then when it, you know, after it happened, I really had to come to grips with that idea of, of like, you know, okay, I am a divorced person now.And that was a whole, it was like a new identity. I don't even know why I felt like it was that, but it was, you know? So the fact that she can relate tothe people going through it, it wasreally powerful.Well, and also like Lesley Logan: in our own life, there's been different people in our lives who are going through [00:14:00] that and they were so embarrassed and they were like kind of shutting down and like people weren't able to like really talk to them.And it's like, well, you can.you know, because you've been through that and like, I think it's just so important to not be ashamed of the journey that you have, whatever that was. Maybe you've never been, maybe you've never been married. like some people are ashamed that they get to a certain age and they've never been in a long term like, the thing. Yeah, sure. The shame is such a thing that keeps us from shining our light and like you have this amazing skillset, whoever you are, whatever that is, to actually change lives around you. And if you're letting that journey that you've been on, be something you're ashamed of, when really it's actually the superpower that makes you who you are and makes you able to connect with people.So I just love that she is owning this. And it is actually, it's actually what's, what's taking her with the book and with her event. It's really cool. Brad Crowell: Yeah, I think that, also, you know, one, one thing that, she you know, She said, justown it.It sounds very [00:15:00] glib to say that like from,if someone had just come to me and say, just own it, Brad, you're divorced or you're getting divorced, it would've been really hard for me to be like, okay, I'm in on that.Like, no problem. But let me tell you from my own personal experience, I began toheal when, and only when I quote unquote owned it. And for me it wasn't like this idea of like, I guess I'll just be this divorced person now. But what it was for me was I began to own it by no longer avoiding it in conversations with others. Right? Because it was so easy for me to just never bring it up. And so I'd meet people and they would never know that I'm like, for me, it felt like I was wearing this like monster on my back. Right? And, but I was great at hiding it, no? And so it, but it, but it didn't help me process. It didn't help me heal. It didn't help me, like, experience [00:16:00] engagementwith other people with this like, truth out there, right? Because like, I felt like, they don't, it's none of their business. They don't need to know, but it just kept eating at me, and it wasn't until I began to share with other people, oh yeah, I've actually been going through like a divorce right now that, that, that was the beginning of, of healing for me. Processing. So, yeah. ...(Lesley: I love that you said that.) Yeah. So, yeah, and actually, you know, she, her quote was exactly that and that's when I realized I need you to talk about this and not be ashamed about it.So. Yeah. Yeah. Well, one thing that I loved that she said was, find your tribe. And, again, I felt this, I found this to be particularly challenging, the idea of just meeting strangers on the internet to like be in a group of divorced men like that, felt like, uh, I don't know these fucking people, you know? And I was, I was not really okay [00:17:00] with that. So my, so I didn't actually go to an online community. But what I did end up really turning to were my close friends. And, you know, they weren't divorced, but they knew who I, they knew me, they knew me beforemy ex-wife, you know, for years before. And so having that support system was, I couldn't really go to my family. It was weird. I, you know, I didn't feel like that was okay to talk about it with my folks, you know, or my siblings, you know.But having the community around me like really helped me get through it. And that's what she's talkingabout here.So your tribe doesn't need to be like, it could be an onlinecommunity of people who like, don't know you or you don't know them. And that you could find freedom in that, cuz there were some times where I felt likeIt was okay to quote unquote air my dirty laundry [00:18:00] with people who I never would meet again.I'd never see them again. It didn't fucking matter ifthey judged me because I was like, yeah, your opinion means nothing to me.And then alternatively finding your tribe with people who do care about you. you know? You could be doing that too. Lesley Logan: Well also, like you had friends from before you were married. I was not divorced, but after I left my ex five years, I didn't have any. because all of, I moved to LA and then we started dating shortly thereafter. And so all of my friends were his friends. So when I left, it waslike, poof, gone. And I have to tell you guys, there's this one story that is likejust, oh my gosh, I wish I could have a video of it so you could just see what was like. But I was in line for this movie through the cemetery and I'm in this line. I'm like waiting. I'm by myself cuz my one friend that I made, the one friend that I made was looking for parking. And so I'm by myself and this line and the way the line goes is it snakes back and forth.And so I'm walking and I can see. Part of the line walkingtowards me cuzthey're about to turn in the corner. And my brain [00:19:00] saw a friend, somebody who I was friends with because of my ex and my brain didn't go. Danger warning, run away. And so I was like, hi. Right. Like, oh my God. And they're like, oh my God.And then behind them was my ex. And they're like, oh my God. And then behind him was this girl he was in and she was like, oh my God, at everybody. And then all I hear was, We're gonna have topassher over and over again.Brad Crowell: Oh, right. Cause The line snakes back and forth. Lesley Logan: Snakes back and forth. And I was just like, oh my God. And I'm likes, I'm like, I'm like, I don't care if you have to double park, youpark your car, you need to get your, I'll pay the ticket. I don don't care. We had to pass each other 11 times. Oh. At any rate, I only had thisone friend at the time, but she was also making friends. And so when it says find your tribe, like that can be hard work.And it was effort. And yes, that was a really terrible moment in my life, 11 times. Oh my God. But, [00:20:00] but I did find friendsand those friends led me to more friends. And those led to more friends. And then it put me to finding myself more. And now, while I don't have a lot of those same friends, because we've moved and everyone's life has changed. And welcome to LA it's a very transient town. It did help me find myself, to get me to a place where I could like go on to other things. Brad Crowell: Yeah. Yeah. Renee talked about joining a yoga group. Right? And how that became, like a lifeline tostaying in community with people. And you know, she, she actually said, you know, you're either gonna, she told herself, you're either gonna sit here all day and feel bad for yourself, or you're gonna put on some leggings and you're gonna go to yoga and you'll probably feel better at the end.And I couldn't agree with her more. I mean, it was really easy to stay home, drink a bottle of wine, watch a movie, and, and feel, you know, like shit. And it wasn't until I began to [00:21:00] intentionally go out again, and that allowed those conversations with others to happen, that processing to happen. So, yeah, well, so honestly, I mean, that was, that was quite a trip down memory lane. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like I've heard this story about you bumping into your ex, but I didn't realize. Uh, it was clearly at the movies at It was a business. yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly, And you wanna, that's the only line that I could think of where you were like, oh.I can I, can I tell you guys the best part? This is, okay, lemme just tell you the best part. I know we're running up on time, but lemme tell you this.So you take pictures atthe moviesand it wasthe slumber party night. It was the night where there was three movies in a row. And so we had my friends and I, once I got there, we like, got our picture taken.And in between the movie, the first movie and the second movie, they were showing the picture that had been taken up on the mausoleum. you guys, it's like the biggest block of wall. And when my picture came up with me and my two friends, it [00:22:00] stayed up. For minutes. And I laughed so hard. I looked at my friends, I'm like, I'm good.I'm outta here. Like I they are having to sit here and like, look and look. And I had this big cloak hoodon.It was all scary movies. And so I just looked like, I was like looking down upon the people. Brilliant. And so get this the next, the Monday after I get an email. Nicepicture. Anyway, we should get Lesley Logan: into these Be It action items real quick. Brad Crowell: Yeah. All right. So let's finally, let's get into these, Be It action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Renee Bauer? The biggest thing she talked about was knowing your money. Which is like a hundred percent what we talk about with business.So it's so funny. But personally that's very liberating, you know? And what's so crazy is like it was like the reverse of the conversation. She said most women come to [00:23:00] her and they're like, he took care of all the bills.I actually have no idea about any of it. And that's how my ex and I was, I didn'tactually manage any of it. Sowhen we split, I was like, how much are we in debt? What? I had no idea. Right? I didn't know anything and it was like really crazy. And, and I totally agree that if I had, you know,felt, if I had paid attention, You know, like I think, I don't think it would've been an issue for me to pay attention during the relationship of like, Hey, yeah, I just wanna, like, understand things.Then it would've been a lot more freeing. But I never paid attention at all. Yeah. yeah. Lesley Logan: Yeah. I really like that card of the, of the interview and I highly recommend listening to that part if you haven't, cuz it's really great. No matter if you're in a happy marriage or not. Like it's just so everyone, everyone should just be aware of what's going on, cuz then you know what your options are all the time. Brad Crowell: Yeah, and I'm, I'm glad you shared about how we operate today because, [00:24:00] you know, it'sstarkly different than how I used to do it. Today you and I actually have a monthly meeting for the company. But that incorporates, you know, pretty much our personal life too. And that allows us both to be understanding where we are and, and all the things.So, yeah. Lesley Logan: And this takes us into one of the Be It action I love, which is like, treat yourself like you are the CFO of your own life. And I think that like, goes along with what you were saying about your last marriage. It's like, I think it's really easy if you don't like money or if money was like a bad thing that you're raised to just like, ignore the money and I don't want it cuz it's a problem and I don't want whatever.But the actual reality is,is like no matter if you're in a marriage, not in a marriage and a great one. The more we are aware of the finances in our life, the more options we have. And you know, you can, this could be the thing you Be It Till You See It at this season. It's like, I'm gonna be a CFO of my life.What does a CFO do? Well, they know the numbers. Okay, what are my numbers? All right, what do I, what are my goals for my numbers to be what do I, want this money to be doing? And like, even if that'sjustthat you have a donationgoal that you wanna make, like that would [00:25:00] be a really great thing for y'all to do.So this was a fun interview. I really love Renee. It was just so great. And y'all should get her book. Brad Crowell: Yeah, I think so too. And it's upcoming right now, soI don't actually remember whatthe title of it was. She Who Lesley Logan: Wins? Brad Crowell: Oh, the book is called She Who Wins?. ..(Lesley: Mm-hmm. And her podcast is too great. so there you go.)Yeah. So we will, we will put the link for that in the show notes. And thanks so much for joining us. Lesley Logan: Yeah. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell: And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan: We are so grateful for you. This is so much fun. Oh my gosh, we're almost about hit two years with this podcast. I feel like we're like a day or two away, so we'll probably have to do that in FYF. But thank you for being you and we wanna know how you use these tips in your life tag the Be IT Pod, tag Renee Bauer,and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell: Bye for now.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. [00:26:00] Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See it is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.It is produced and edited by the Epic team at Dysenio. Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website.And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
205. A Journey of Redefining Strength & Empowering the Disabled

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2023 50:48


Javeno McLean, a fitness trainer from Manchester, tells his motivational career path, emphasizing the importance of encouraging others to enjoy exercise and uplifting those who face obstacles. Javeno talks about the value of authenticity, gratitude, and pushing the boundaries to redefine what is possible in this episode.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Javeno McLean's unique approach to fitnessHow to fall in love with exercise, regardless of your circumstancesThe importance of treating everyone as equalsWorking with the disabled populationThe importance of authenticity in the fitness industryFamily, personal passions and staying true to oneselfLinks and Social Media:Follow Javeno on IGCheck out Javeno on TikTokJ7 Community Health Centre websiteBio:Javeno McLean, a former professional athlete, focuses on spreading smiles through his unique fitness approach. As an expert trainer for disabled, elderly, and vulnerable individuals, he owns the UK's busiest workout classes and the ."Gym of the Year." Drawing from his cricket experience, Javeno inspires others as a weight loss specialist and motivational speaker. His inclusive approach is recognized through the global record for the largest impaired exercise class and features in publications like the Manchester Evening NewsIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipWaitlist for the flashcards deckUse this link to get your Toe Sox!ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt, my friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear.Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. All right, loves Get ready. Um, first of all, um, this is a little warning. Um, I'm a fast talker and our guest today isn't excited and, uh, and meets my speed, um, and has a lovely accent. So, um, if you normally listen to things on 2.0, may I suggest a [00:01:00] 1.5, 1.25, or 1.0. Um, I cannot wait for you to hearour guest today, Javeno McLean because this man is doing some incredible things in this world. Um, I have been watching him from afar as a, as a diehard follower. And, um, it made the, it meant the world to me. Like it was, I'm not, I didn't tell him this. I went to DM him to be him on the podcast and I was like, oh my gosh.I had this like, look like a moment of imposter syndrome, like, Well, what if he says no? And then I was like, well, what if he says no? Then I'll just ask him again. I'll just wait. I just thought I was like, maybe his people will block because like we're a smaller podcast. We're not that small, but we're smaller in this world of podcast.And I had the story that I told myself and I was like, dang it. I just spent an hour watching all of his videos. I just spent an hour smiling and with tears of joy in my eye, and I was showing him to Brad. I'm going to just DM him because the worst case scenario is he probably won't even see it. I'll just be in purgatory in his dms.And you know what he said? Yes. [00:02:00] And I cannot wait for you to hear in this episode why he said yes. And I also hope that this episode is a reminder to you that you are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it, you're it, and to be true to who you are and being it till you see it is 1000%.You stepping into that each and every day. And it's not gonna be easy, but ooh, it's harder to be someone else. So, without further ado, here is Javeno McLean. All right, Be It, babe. I have been stalking this guest for quite some time. In all the best ways, shout out to Steven Spinelli and my besties husband who sent me a reel from this man. Um, and I have been like sitting by going, I gotta just ask him. And when I did, he said yes. So you guys, McLean is our guest today., will you tell everyone who you are and what you Javeno McLean: rock at? Oh, Les. Well, I hate doing things like this, but [00:03:00] I'm . I'm just a 38 year old man from Manchester, England who likes to make people happy. I like to try and put a bit of love and joy in the world, and a little bit of exercise while I'm doing it.That's it. That's it. The rest of it you can find out yourself. Google it. Lesley Logan: I love it so much. Okay, so you're from Manchester. Um, I guess I wanna start with like, how did you get started because you, I mean, obviously you're a fitness trainer. You do these amazing things, but you're more than that for people. And I think anyone listening to this, we have a lot of fitness and professionals who listen to this.They get into this wanting to be more than just moving people and working people out. They, my story is like, Pilates change my life, so I wanna just help everyone change their lives. But at some point sometimes you get derailed, like you get distracted, there's things, but you seem to have been like really sparking joy in making people shine through what you're doing.So how did you get started in Javeno McLean: it? To be honest, Lesley, it was, it was an accident. It was, it was something that, it [00:04:00] wasn't the plan. The plan was always, always from day one to just show people that exercise when it's done with the right environment, with the right music, you get me? The right vibe. Anyone can, can enjoy it.I can make anyone fall in love with exercise if the environment's right and a long time ago, well, and the crazy thing, Les, is everything that's happening for me recently, I've been doing the same things for 22 years. I just never, I was never a social media person, and I felt like we became a bit of a, I'm not sure what it's like in America, but in England sometimes, is it called clout chasing, where people will film things.Let's say if he's a homeless man, instead of just giving that person a sandwich or a cup of. They have to film. Look what I'm doing, I'm here with Lesley, and it kind of dilutes the message. It takes away, you should wanna do things from the goodness of your own heart. Yes. So I've been doing it for so many years.I've been [00:05:00] training disabled people, elderly people, cancer patients, stroke survivors for free for 22 years. I've never took a penny of them. And it was purely because I understand people. I feel like we money, money controls the world a bit too much and money's not my God. And if I want to help someone, From the purest part of my soul, Lesley, there's no atm, there's no cashbook, there's no, there's no checkbook.If someone's got cancer, if someone's got dementia, the least, the least I can do is make that person smile. Make that person remember me, make that person want to come back to me, and I'm not bothered about the money because if I take you money, that means I'm, I don't really want to help you from the goodness of my heart.I want to help you because I want to get financial gain. I've never, ever took a penny of anybody disabled or elderly, and I've just never, ever, I've had people try and, uh, make me turn into the other person where I'm basically taking [00:06:00] my top off all the time. The typical pt, when I'm just trying, I'm not trying to sell sex.I'm trying to sell inspiration. I'm not trying to set, I don't have to take on, you'll never see me, Lesley, ever with my nipples out. You know, guys. Lesley Logan: You know, , I, I understand that cuz like, um, I will see people even in my own industry and they'll be doing things and like I could do that. I could also do in, in it with a sports bra on.And little shorts and, and put the camera a lot closer. But that's not how I live my life in general. So that just feels fake to me and I've never been a fake it person. I'm like, this is, this is, I do my Pilates in these clothes today. Yeah. So this what you're gonna get and no, I don't have makeup on today and that's just cuz it didn't happen today.I like to be as real as possible, so I appreciate that you're like, no, I'll, if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it in my own way, ... (: 150%) and I'm gonna do it in a way that feels he saw the video. And I think that totally comes through. Because when I, y'all, I, what happened was I got sent this amazing reel of you helping [00:07:00] someone do something that like probably no one would ever think they could do.Uh, or they would just go, well, that's the best they can do. So this is, you know, and you were just encouraging them and showing them. And I think no matter who you are, no matter what's going on with your body, we all wanna be a little bit better, a little bit stronger than we were yesterday. We all want that.And so, and then, I was, you came up my feed and I showed my husband what you were doing. And then he just went through like, I was like, look at this one, look at this. The kid putting the ring another. And I was like, no way is he gonna get it to the higher one. And then he got to the higher one. I was just like, this is incredible.So what you are doing is inspiring people cuz I left your feed inspired to go do whatever I was gonna do in that day. Um, obviously our listeners are going to wonder. How you actually like pay your bills. So are you also like training people who can pay you? Are you, are you, like, how is that happening so that you can give to these other people who need Javeno McLean: it the most?So, Lesley, um, I struggle and my, my wife and my, my mother, [00:08:00] everyone, they're trying to help me at the moment. I'm a very humble person. I hate talking about certain things, but I train. I, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a wicked trainer. I train elite athletes. I train elite champion athletes. I've got a community that, uh, my community gym that I, that I own, it's for the neighborhood.So I get people coming in every day from the neighborhood, regular people. It's just a section of my work, which is a disabled, and the people that need the most hope are the ones that I've never charged. Mm-hmm. So my bills as sorted with my regular customers. Yes. If that makes sense. Yep. Uh, but I don't really broadcast that as much as I should because I just...I wanna showcase magic and amazing in other people. You see what I'm saying? That's, that's what I really, I feel uncomfortable, like even in the last two years with all the things that have been going on in my life, sometimes the best I can do, Lesley and I, sometimes I, I fear that people will feel that I'm arrogant is the best [00:09:00] response is sometimes will say, oh, thank you.Because I love, I love, I love finding somebody out. Let's say somebody that you've seen on the videos, who's got, uh, who's in a wheelchair I've, I believe I'm gifted Les. And what I mean by that, Lesley is uh, I don't mean it big edited, I don't need it both fully. Your gift is what you can do better than everybody else.Your gift is what comes easy to you. So Michael Jordan, his gift was, we all know what that was. Any day, any time. He's rock it anyway, anywhere you doing it. Who else? Mike Tyson. Anyone? That's their gift. On any day, they can perform better than anybody else. And I've always felt from a young age, Lesley, there's not a person on this planet I can't make fall in love with exercise. And when it comes to somebody with a disability, or, and again, Lesley, a day in my life, just to let you know, I have some of the, [00:10:00] some of the most tricky situations on planet earth to deal with. I, I have people who have got terminal cancer, I've got people who have got conditions that they're not fixable.They, they're not gonna get better. They're degenerative, where as they get older it will get worse and worse and worse. And some of the conversations that I have with people will, will, will, will break any man's soul, any person's when there's, when someone's got, we're lucky, like I'm from, I'm from Jamaica.So when I was, I'm from an island that we, there's, there's not much going on there. So with me personally, I've always been very grateful. And every second, every second that God's given me to do this, I'm happy. I've got clothes on and I can watch, I can drink and look, I've got, aftershave, I've got cologne, I'm, I'm blessed.We're so blessed. Mm-hmm. But when you speak to somebody who doesn't realize how great life is because [00:11:00] the cards that they've been dealt. They've got a, they've got a countdown to when they're taking their last breath. Think about that. Yeah. I have people recently who have come to me with terminal cancers and terminal illnesses.They know that they've got a countdown, but yet they wanna spend it with . anyone can me that gift, best believe that every second you spend with me, I'm gonna make you smile, girl. I'm gonna make you happy. I'm gonna make you, I'm gonna put every bit of me into that session because you've chosen me.Yeah. And I believe that my gift is, anytime I've ever come across anybody with whatever situation I've already said to them, gimme 20 minutes. Give me 20 minutes. I bet you I'm gonna make you smile. I bet you I'm gonna take you out of whatever your reality is right now. If you don't feel too good, I guarantee you that little 20 minutes with me.I guarantee you I'm gonna put a smile on your face and make you wanna come back. And that's all I can do. And I've never failed. Yeah, I'm, Lesley Logan: well, gosh. I mean, I have chills and I believe [00:12:00] it. And what I, what I think is so cool is like, first of all, for that person to even seek you out shows that they want to make the most of every breath that they have.Yeah. And I don't know who's luckier, those of us who don't know when our last breath is, or those who do, um, And I, maybe that's the wrong word to use, but there is something about someone choosing this is, this is where I'm going and I'm gonna make sure that I spend it with . I'm gonna, cuz he's gonna show me what I'm still capable of....(: Yeah, definitely). And like it to me, what, what I love is that you make them feel so seen, which is like huge for me. But also you show them what's so much more possible and I think the, the rest of the world. Make like go, oh, poor them. Or, I'm so sorry for them. That's so sad. What they're going through and, and what I get from what you're doing is like, and this is what you have and here's what we can do and we can still smile [00:13:00] and we can still step over this.This poll, so it's just really amazing. I wonder like, when did you start working with this population of people? Was it from the beginning of your training? Or was it like happenstance? Can you take me back to what that was? Yeah, Javeno McLean: so it was many years ago, Les, I'll tell you the quick story. Uh, many years ago was one thing with me Les is always about normality and redefining boundaries. I've always been that person. And I think normality is the most powerful thing on this planet. And I realized a long time ago when I tell you the story in a second. No matter who you are, whether you are, no matter what your condition, elderly, disabled, whatever it is, all anybody wants is to be treated normal. And me, now I'm a father of two young boys, and God forbid if anything was happen to my little boys. All I want is the world to treat my babies normal. Don't feel sorry for them and don't [00:14:00] pissy them. Treat 'em normal. And years ago, that was, long story short, I was, I used to manage sessions. We call it the council in the usa you call it the government baby.So, so I used to work for the government and I used to do sessions all around the city in Manchester. And I had a, I had people that worked for me and I was watching a session with the young guy, one of my, one of my members of staff, and he was teaching this young boy in a wheelchair. This young boy was, he was so bored. He was so, so bored.He was 19 and I watched the session and he stayed in his wheelchair Les, and then when the trainer went to go to the bathroom, this boy got a part of his chair and he walked over to, uh, where the water and the drinks was, and he pour himself for drinks. So I came in the room and I went crazy at him. I said to him, don't you ever let another man or another person dilute your power.Don't ever let nobody tell you that you are meant to be in that chair. Like that chair defines you. I said, I'll just watched you for 20 minutes. [00:15:00] Lift the two pound weights, big strapping rugby player, boy. And he was lifting weights that he knows he can do more. He, and then he could get a part of his chair. He could walk like a lot of disabled people or a lot of people in wheelchairs.They're not always, uh, in the wheelchairs forever. A lot of them can actually get up and move. And I said to him, don't ever let nobody dilute your power and tell you that you have to stay in that wheelchair. So when the trainer came back in, I said, you know what, you go home. I said, I'm gonna take the rest of this session and for the rest of this session, I made him stand up.Cause I knew that he could. And even if he couldn't, I said, I've got your, I said, you're going to push yourself. You're 19 years old. And I said, you've got all this life to live. You can't live an attack life. By just being locked in your little box and letting the world and people tell you, you stay in your wheelchair.You do. I said, no. So I made him stand up for 20 minutes and he did it. I made him lift the, the bigger dumbbells. Nothing crazy, [00:16:00] but a little bit heavier than what I know he could do. And at the end of the session, and this is what changed for me Les, this is where it was a little bit awkward, where it, this, this little boy's parents was in the room and his dad was massive. That's, his dad was huge. His dad was so, his dad was so big and he walked over and I thought, I dunno what's gonna happen. I dunno when we had it. Cause I didn't know. And he came over and he just started crying and me and him hugged for about 20 minutes and in him and his wife, and we cried.And he was explaining to me everything that day, everything that I was saying to him, people are scared to say to him cause of his, wheelchair. And he said, they tell him every day that you're lazy, you can do more, but because his mommy and daddy doesn't wanna listen. And he said, I was the first person to ever talk to him and treat him normal.Because the world when it comes to people that are disabled or elderly or vulnerable, they've got a thing where they don't wanna [00:17:00] offend and they don't wanna tell him anything. So they said to me, I was the first person to treat him normal. And they, they couldn't. They loved it. They loved it. And I said to myself on that, Look, cause you're in a wheelchair or disabled, you ain't no different from me or you or anybody else.So, uh, that was my approach from there. And it just, from there, people just started talking about me. It, it went a little bit crazy. And then in the last six years when I opened my own facility, it's just gone absolute craziness. It's just, yeah, I've never publicized it. I've just, only six years ago was my first time that I posted a video.I've been doing it for 22 years and I've never posted a video. Cause I didn't want to anybody to think that I was exploiting people or I was trying to showcase me or what, do you know what I mean? Lesley Logan: I was so, I do, I think so many people can be so quick to judge these things. Yeah. Like, and it's like I, what I, I think we forget that there's intention behind things and I think that like, You're a perfect example of like, when the intention is good, [00:18:00] then, um, that it, it, it, it, then it sh it should shine through and there can be people, there'll always be people who see it differently.But what I, what, what I think that is really amazing is that you're showing people what is possible . And also like that whole thing you, I'm sure you've told your kids is, at least my parents did in the States, is like, never judge a book by its cover. Never judge a book by its cover. And what you're showing is, you're not judging a person in a wheelchair by the wheelchair.You're looking at their heart and you're looking at what's possible. You're figuring out what they want, and you're showing them they could be even a little bit more than what they are. And then they, and then guess what? Tomorrow's a new day. So you can be a little bit more than yesterday. Who that we, there are people who don't have disabilities, who don't have terminal life illnesses who need to hear that.There are people who are air quotes normal. Because of the world's judging them or because what they've been told, they live in like, well, this is as good as it's, as it gets. And, and you, it, it sounds to me like your, [00:19:00] your mission is really just to show people that there's always something more that they can do with themselves no matter who they are.Javeno McLean: Hundred percent. There's a lot of my clients who are trained to this day. Guess what? I don't know their disability. I don't have the conversation Les, apart from certain people where I need to know medically. Certain professional things. A lot of people who I trained, the first thing that I say is, I don't care.I don't care about your wheelchair. I care about you. I don't care what you can't do. I care about what we are gonna do right now. Mm-hmm. And I, I, I've never, I've never been afraid because, I know what I'm doing. I know that I'm not a bully. You, you know what? You've seen the training who just shout and scream and just use the ego and I've never been that person.I know I'm so professional in my preparation that I'm never afraid to hurt people. I'm more concerned about how, how many barriers we're gonna we're gonna break. How many and, and more. What I've noticed with a lot of people I train is, the boundaries, their capabilities, they, they set the bar [00:20:00] so low because of the way, cause of the life that they've been given, the cards that they've been dealt. Natural human instinct is to set the bar here. Mm-hmm. So the first thing I do in the very first session is I get a gist of what that person thinks that they can't do. And I say, I'm gonna prove you wrong today. I'm not gonna do it next week. Last week.Last week, one of my girls come in. Beautiful little girl. Beautiful little girl. She's 18, she's got cerebral palsy. She knows who she's, I'm not gonna say her name. And me and her was talking about press up and she said, I can't do a press up. I said, I said, I'll get, she said, I've never done a press up in my life.I said to you in half an hour, I'm gonna, I'm gonna show you that you can do a press up. And then she was, Nope, nope, nope, nope. Les, we did 34 press ups that day. And then she left. She left that session. Couldn't believe it. And I said, baby, we're only just getting started. I said, wait till next week. Wait until next week and the week after.And I think it's about just redefining [00:21:00] boundaries and well, when you do that with a human at any age, it is the most beautiful thing to watch Lesley Logan: you. Yeah. You know? Um, and my first Pilates training, They taught me this is what a beginner does for the hundred. This is what a beginner's rollup is. This is a beginner.This is a beginner. Right. And then, and then I pass that test and you teach it intermediate. So now you take that person and you change the exercise and make it a little harder. You change it again. Right. And the advanced I went to, I was like, this doesn't make any sense. Like I went to a class and they just had me do the excercise.They didn't have me do the beginner. They just had me do the exercise. And then they offered options if you couldn't do the exercise. Yep. And so I was like, okay. So I went to another training and they taught me this is the exercise. And if you need to change the exercise, cuz someone can't meet it yet, then you think of it as borrowing money from the bank.You want the lowest interest loan so you can go get, I don't know if you have this in the uk, but here we have these terrible loan places that are called like paycheck [00:22:00] loans where the interest is so high. Once you get it, just you basically, you're constantly borrowing from them because now you owe so much.Yeah, you have to just go there. That bank is never gonna get me to being able to afford a loan over here. It's never gonna get there. So like I always think of like taking that bar or let me just use the word modification and go, what's the least amount? And that's why I'll end up working with athletes is not because I was actually looking for them, it's because they came in and I was like, okay, let me see what you can do here.Yeah. Okay. Let's see if you can do this. Until I could figure out where's the barrier, where, where are we limited? Yeah. And then we can go to work. Right. And um, yeah. And so I wonder like. Who trained you? Who taught you this? Like, have you always been this way or like what made, like what, what, what's, what turned that light switch on Javeno McLean: for you?I, I've been, I'll be honest, Les, I've been crazy. I've been crazy since I was small. I've been, yeah, I've been very determined since I was young. I was even, I remember I was 12, 11 years old doing a hundred plus ups a day, 200 sit ups a [00:23:00] day. I was, I was it, I was, I played cricket. I'm not sure if you know what cricket is.I was a top level cricket player. I played professional cricket for many years, so I bought, I was an athlete myself, and right now I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a power lifter. I'm a team gb power lifter, and these are things that I rarely tell people because again, my, my history of just being an athlete, I've seen what the human body can do, but I've seen the power not of having muscles or being super fit.I've seen the power. Uh, involving people. Mm-hmm. I've seen the power Les of noticing people I know. I see. I've seen it like a lot of people don't get seen. I think about it Les. It's so horrible. You can have somebody who is the fittest, strongest person, but they still feel depressed or sad because they don't really get noticed.People that I. My, my main [00:24:00] priority is to let them know, look him in the face and let 'em know, I see you. I ain't seeing you, I ain't looking around you or seeing your, your medication or your wheelchair or your walking stick or whatever. I see you and I think when people notice that you, when they got, uh, somebody in front of them, you actually gives a crap about 'em because I'm looking at them.Javeno McLean: I'm not looking through them all around them. You gotta think a lot of disabled people, people are so awkward. People look around them and they don't wanna notice them. I'm looking right at you cause I wanna know you. I wanna know your story, your history. I wanna know about your cat, your dog, your neighbor.I wanna know what you're gonna watch on TV tomorrow. I wanna know what you're gonna eat for your breakfast. I wanna know all of that. And when they know that I wanna know all of that, then they can ask me. And then we become friends when we become friends. It's game over. We can do amazing things together.And I think being noticed is the most important thing and uh, it's the most empowering [00:25:00] thing. And this is not what I realized a long time ago, and this is where many years ago, Les, I had many people trying to, we did photo shoots with a couple magazines I could have had. I'm so happy that the following that I've got now Les, is uh, is so organic and I've done it in my way.Yeah, I think 10 years ago. Why so many people? Just trying to get me to take my top after to show off my body and things like that, like, like everybody else was doing. And I said to him and people thought I was crazy. I said, you, I don't care how much money you, you, you, you're gonna offer me. I don't care how many followers you're gonna, you think I'm gonna get on these platforms.I said, you'll never see me with my t-shirt off or trying to flex my six pack, cause I'm not trying to sell that. And I'm so happy that I stood by what I believed and now the world, cause I already said to people, Les, when people see the power of care, like real genuine care, it will be the most powerful thing that you will ever see because how can you not [00:26:00] like it?Because it's the most organic thing. And I'm happy that I stood by everything that I said all them years ago. Lesley Logan: Yeah. I, I think, um, I mean that's ultimate being it till you see it. It's like knowing who you are. Yeah. And, and then just trusting that being who you are is already enough. Um, and, and that it's be, it's better to get to where you want to go as yourself than as being someone else because you can't, you don't get to flip the switch.You don't get to put that shirt back on. I mean, you can, but the people who followed you cuz of the six pack are gonna be. You know, for, this is a terrible analogy, but many, many people who listen may not know this. Um, I am on YouTube and I have a lot of followers who followed me because I was barefoot.So that's that. We'll, just, oh yeah. It's a weird world. So, uh, applies exercises. I have that. So then my friends own a sock company for pilates socks. I started wearing them and they got very upset. Because I was now wearing socks on [00:27:00] my feet. So the the, so it actually made my viewership go down. Yes, you all, it was enough to notice it was enough to hit the bank.But I was like, well, who am I doing this for? Am I doing it for the people who wanna see my bare feet or am I doing it for the people who wanna learn the exercise? So socks are on most of the time. And, um, but like you, you don't, if you've, you have to do things in your he saw the video way, otherwise, at some point, That person's gonna come out and it's either gonna piss people off and deter them.It could lose everything you built or you lose yourself in the process, which I think is much worse. So, um, I think that, but watching you do it in the way that makes sense to you is just proof that to everyone listening here, however, how, whatever it is that you want to do, whoever it is that you are, you don't have to do these shiny object things that, that get instant gratification to get to where you wanna go.You can be, you can get there just be being yourself. Javeno McLean: I'll tell you something, Les. What's the name of this podcast? ...(Lesley: Be It Till You See It). [00:28:00] One second, one second. So this is the, this is a little bit my, my manager went crazy at me, right? So, listen, I get last la you know that the week that you asked me for the to do the podcast, I got asked by 12 of the podcast, and I'm at the stage where if I don't like your face or your vibe, I'll say NO, So all of these books, right?And just to let you know, look, I've got best, I've got no fuck thought as well. Look, you guys, Lesley Logan: if you're watching on YouTube, you'll see this all, Javeno McLean: all of these books here that I've got here, right? These are all quotes, things that I write down that make over the years, over 22 years, things that quotes from people, quotes by myself, that makes sense that I need to learn.And revise, yeah?, all these things in one of my first books. Guess what it says, ...(Lesley: Be It Till You See It). Lesley Logan: Yes.[00:29:00] Javeno McLean: So soon as I seen that, I said, hundred percent I need to come on this show and meet this lady. Because that there is, and this is the thing, that's when you see, when you're talking about being organic, anytime I film a video, anytime I'm working with someone. It's never scripted. It's not 3, 2, 1. Do this, do that.And I've had loads of cameras over the last two years. Big TV companies come in and I've had to explain to 'em, this is not a gimmick. This is my life. These are real people. So anytime people have filmed, I've had to let them know. This is the most important thing is not you guys getting good footage.It's me making sure that I'm doing my job with the people that I'm training. If you want to film, you film from the outside and capture what you want. But at the end of the day, whoever I'm training, my job is to give that person as most, the most magic, the most amount of amazing in 30 minutes as I can. You just be hard from over there.And I think [00:30:00] just being organic and being yourself, I'm so glad that people notice that it's just me being myself. Mm-hmm. And that's why you see me in a lot of my videos with sliders, uh, or, or barefoot, I wear in the summertime. I don't wear socks cause I feel more free when I've got bare feet and people always say things.And even now that my following's getting bigger, you always get the one stupid person. Why has he got no health and safety? Why has he not got ... shut up. Let me, let me just be happy. Let me be happy. I don't wanna wear socks. And I think exactly what you said, just being organic and real. And I think the, the person I'm trading, they see that and feel it.And it makes them want to give me a bit more because I know that I'm being as real as I can, and then it lets them open up to me. Lesley Logan: Yeah, I think, um, one of the best compliments I ever got, um, I was in Australia. I was in a car with some people who hired me to come down and teach, and I wanted to go to this one store.And I was like, I was like, can we [00:31:00] go? I know that we all wanna go to dinner, but like, can we go to the store before it closes because I really wanna buy this dress, this place. And they were in this car, we're like laughing and talking, whatever, and they're like, you're the same person online as you are, like in person.Mm-hmm. And I was like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Are people not around you? Like, Javeno McLean: no, and that's the crazy thing in our industry, there's so much fakery and people pretending because let's be real. If you pretend to be something that you are not, you're more likely to make some money doing something. And now this is, we're at, we're at the point now where I think the real people need to stand up a little bit more and be heard because that's what the fitness and health is about, fitness, health, and wellbeing, It's about this, it's not about the BS that we see on Instagram every day and it, and it mm-hmm.And it's, it, it's not healthy. And I'm, I'm so glad that people are noticing real, real influences. Yeah. Not, not, yeah. It's, I'm so happy. I'm so glad [00:32:00] about Lesley Logan: that. So I wanna know like where, because you're being it till you see it all the time. So where are you trying to grow next? Like, what is your ultimate dream next?Like where, what, like we could snap our fingers, we can make it happen, but you're already acting as if it is ,so, where do you wanna go, , with all Javeno McLean: this? Can I, I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be so, I'm gonna be honest and real. Lemme tell you this, Les,all that. So every single day I, I get, uh, hundreds of messages from people all, all over the world, from countries that I didn't even know existed. You, Uganda, Botswana, Yemen. Did you know there's a country called Yemen?. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't Yemen, all these people sending me beautiful messages, but I'll never post them because that's a personal, private, beautiful, thing between that person. I get hundreds of videos from people who watch the videos, watch my videos, who are disabled, and they, uh, they copy what I've put in the videos and they send me [00:33:00] to say, look babe, look what you've made me do. So an example, one of, I had to talk about this, this young boy copied the video of me and, uh, Josh, one of my youngsters.Javeno McLean: And he was in his, uh, bedroom holding onto the dressing table that the, the, the closet thing. And he copied and he held himself up out of his wheelchair for 20 seconds. And he's screaming, saying, Jav, look what I did. And he was just crying his eyes out saying, because he watched my video, it made him realize that that wheelchair doesn't define him and he can do what Josh did in the video.And I've received hundreds of them. So now, how many more thousands of people around the world can I get to do that? How many more people with dementia? How many more people with cancer, stroke, cerebral palsy, how many more people around the world? If I've, if I, let's say now 10,000 people have sent me videos, disabled people from all over the globe say, look, oh my God, you've made me do this.How many [00:34:00] more millions can we reach? So the plan is to keep on doing what I'm doing and keep on spreading this as far and wide as I can. Because when people see real organic care, real beautiful interactions, wholesome interactions, whether you are able-bodied or disabled, it's the most inspiring thing that you'll see.Yeah, and I think that's my goal. My goal isn't to, to, I'm not bothered about cars and this and that. My goal is to do exactly what I'm doing now and touch every corner of the globe. Lesley Logan: Yeah. You wanna make the, you want your impact to just spread far and wide. Yeah. Um, uh, in your defense, I learned from Yemen from the show Friends, so Javeno McLean: Oh, yeah.Yes. Yeah. Lesley Logan: Yemen. So, um, you know, I I I love that. I love that so much and I, like, I wanna ask you, and, and, and if you don't have the full answer yet, then please just let my team know so we can add it [00:35:00] in. When you do. Obviously y'all are gonna listen to this, are gonna share every one of his reels to people, because even if you only have 70 followers, you have the following and those 70 people need to see this.But aside from sharing what you're doing, is there anything that we can do to support spreading the word and helping you make this impact that you wanna make? Javeno McLean: Keep on sharing the videos that, that, that's all. Listen. There's always somebody watching. That's what I realized when some of these videos have gone so viral.There's always somebody watching. There's always so everybody knows somebody elderly. Everybody knows somebody disabled. Everybody knows somebody going through a hard time. Yes. These videos are so powerful and I'm so, I'm, I'm so blessed that I, I'm in a position where my videos are impacting people so powerfully.I get grown men every day crying and, and women all over the world crying and I. I'm, I'm just happy that, I'm just happy, Les, I'm happy with everything that's going. And the what, the one thing that I really would love to do is, [00:36:00] do you know about the world records Les? ... (Lesley: The what?) The world records? The Lesley Logan: World records?Yeah. Like Guinness. Javeno McLean: Yeah. So I've got, last year, I've, well, I've got two world records. I've got the world record for the biggest wheelchair exercise class, and I've got the world record for the biggest disabled exercise class. I've got an idea for this year. I'm gonna break the, I'm gonna break the world record again, but I'm gonna set it up as a big, I'm gonna do it in a big room, a big like room or arena in Manchester, but I'm also gonna give people around the world an opportunity to join in via Zoom.Yeah, I'm gonna get a big screen. Yes. Lesley Logan: You can have everyone's faces on there, you see? Yes, Leslie. Exactly. Yes. So I'm in, can you get like, isn't there like a big soccer like football stadium in Manchester? Javeno McLean: Isn't there like a big... () I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try and we're trying to get into a stadium. Uh, but ideally, whenever, whenever I do make the announcement, [00:37:00] anyone who follows me, I think if everyone could share that and we can, that a world record that's involving disabled people, From around the world, Les, that that'll be absolutely outstanding.Lesley Logan: Well, please like sign us up for however we can help you and we want to, um, I wish I knew someone who owned a stadium to donate it to you, but maybe I do. Maybe one of my people listening to this can let me know if I'm like, how many degrees away we are. But I love this because, you know, I think people get bogged down by how much shit is like happening in the world.Like they're so, like any, you, you open up any app and there's obviously people doing stuff, but there's also like, Just these big catastrophes happening to people all over the world. And I think people get overwhelmed. Like, what? I can't do anything about that. Yeah. And I feel that as someone who like has a big heart, I feel that.And I think it's like it's not about us help. Like you don't have to be the person who's trying to solve all the world's problems. You just have to find one problem that you're so [00:38:00] passionate about. Yeah. And you go all in on that. And what you're doing is like bringing so much light to a population of people.That have either been written off or underestimated or not noticed because people don't know what to do when, when they're with them. And so I love that because that changes the world if more people feel seen. And this is why I teach, because it helped me connect more to myself. And when you connect to yourself, you can connect more to others.Like that's really what it's right. Definitely. I do this because I know that the way, if more people are connected to themselves, they connect more to others, there's like world peace. Like we're all of a sudden just better people. You, the more people feel seen in this world. The, the more they feel empowered to do whatever it is on this planet that they could do.And so I just love, I just love what it is. I just love that so much. And I hope that if, if you're listening, whatever that is for you, it can be anything. It could be any kind of population of people or plants or something, but go all in with this passion and don't let [00:39:00] there be a barrier to it. Like, don't set yourself up.Like there's a, there's a, a barrier. So you just, I feel like you've inspired me and I hope you're inspiring everyone listening that you don't have to stop just because this is what the RX for something or someone is. Javeno McLean: Yeah, and I, I couldn't agree any more or less. And one thing that I really noticed is, look at this now, did you say, let me tell, tell me about your family.Tell me about your immediate family that you've got now. Oh, Lesley Logan: I have uh, my parents, my dad is 70. He deadlifts you guys almost 300 pounds, just so you know. Go on Javeno McLean: daddy! Lesley Logan: Does. I know, I know, I know. Um, and then I have, uh, my mom, she's a school teacher for first graders. And then, um, I have a brother and sister. Mm-hmm.Javeno McLean: Brilliant. So now listen to this. If Lesley is sad or upset, mommy and daddy feel that pain. Your brother, your sisters. If [00:40:00] you go through something and you are not good, your mom, your dad, your family, they, they, they're riding with you. Every cry, every tear, every bit of sadness that you have, your mom and dad and your family feel that just as much as you coz' they love you.Mm-hmm. And one thing that I'm so grateful of is their family involvement with what I'm doing. So somebody that I'm training, whether they're in a wheelchair or not, cancer, dementia, stroke. The happiness that their families are now getting is unbelievable. There's every single person who I train their families will message me and ring me and come and see me to tell me that the impact that it's making, on not just the person who I'm training, but that person's family, that person's mom and dad, that person's grandmother, grandfather, that person's husband, wife.So every single person that I'm training, it's never just about me making that person happy. If I make that person happy, that filters [00:41:00] through the entire family. And before you know it, Les, I've been welcomed into hundreds of new families and it's the most beautiful thing when I go somewhere, when I walk around my local community.Not even well, to be honest. Now, when I go anywhere in the world and people realize, and people, people can sometimes say things to me, well, let, let's say Manchester and in England when somebody says, I know the person that you trained, because may I, I'm related to that person, you've made my whole family happy.Because now whoever the person is, is now happier. They're more joyful. They're laughing again. They're smiling again. People have forgotten how to smile. Yeah, because the, cause the world's not in a good place and it's so much sadness. A lot of people don't smile anymore. They don't laugh anymore. So when somebody says, I've made their grandmother laugh again and smile again, and wanna start being showing more of who they are, because a lot of people have lost themselves with covid, with the war in [00:42:00] Ukraine, with the cost of living, with everything that's going on, it's making families happy and I'm so glad that I'm the person that's opening that, that floodgate of love, if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's powerful. Lesley Logan: Yeah. I mean it's, well, to go back to it, it's like we forget that the actions we take to help others are, it's a chain reaction. Yeah. And so your one, your one thing that feels small is actually much bigger than you'll ever know.And someday, hopefully you'll be in a place like you are, where you get to hear about those that, that daisy chain effect that's going on. Um, , I, you have kids and, and a and a and a spouse and everything. Um, it must be so fun for them to be around you cuz you have so much energy. Are they involved in what you do or are they like your, like, not a respite, but like your time away is with them.Javeno McLean: Yeah, it's bit my, my, I got two. I've got two beautiful boys and my wife. [00:43:00] And my wife's obviously she knows I'm a bit crazy. The energy...(Lesley: she loves it). She does, she does mean wife. My little boys are crazy. They, they've got my energy les, my little, my, my youngest Leo, he's only one. He, he doesn't, he, he's not got a clue what's going on.He just wakes up every day, Les. He just goes, ah, all day. That's all he does. All he does. Ah, that's all he does. Lesley Logan: He's learning his voice and he hears you yelling. So he thinks he's talking. That's, Javeno McLean: he does. My, my eldest son Mason, his energy, and, and to be honest, he's, he's, he understands what Daddy's doing now and he sees how far it's going and how many people I'm helping. And he's very proud, and my wife's very proud as well. And, and that's what it's all about for me. Just making the family proud and making me mom and dad and my wife and everyone proud, and I can only make him proud if every single time I, I'm on a platform to speak.I'm just as real and as honest and as organic [00:44:00] as I can be. Mm-hmm. And that's all that matters and I'm, I'm just, I'm glad, fingers crossed, it continues and I'm glad that. I'm glad we've always going, man. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Oh, well, , I, I wanna talk to you for hours. Um, but you also have a family and it is, uh, getting to be at least dinnertime, if not past it where you are.So we're gonna take a brief break. Yeah. And then we're gonna find out where people can find you, follow you, stalk you like I did. And your Be It action items. Alright, , where do you like to hang out? Where can people help you, support you, follow you, all those things? Well guys, Javeno McLean: I'm on socials. I'm on. I'm, I'm 38 years old, so I'm new to all the social media things, so I'm on Instagram, J seven Health, I think.What, what's my name? What's my name? J seven Health . I think I'm called on Instagram, on I'm TikTok. I've been on TikTok for about 10 months and it's gone crazy. My TikTok name is what? Lesley Logan: Your TikTok name, I don't know, but [00:45:00] your, uh, your Instagram is J seven Health . That's it. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get your TikTok definitely linked below for sure.Javeno McLean: I can see here. TikTok is Seven guys. Go on there. Follow and listen. I'm not trying to sell nothing. All I want people to is if you like the video comment, say something nice and if you know somebody that maybe would benefit from seeing the video. Pass that joy and pass on that love, and then it'll keep on spreading.That's all I wish. That's all I want. Lesley Logan: All right. You've given us so many things to think about, but bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to Be It Till They See It. What do you have for us? Uh, Javeno McLean: Family, I generally believe. If your family about the front of your thoughts all the time, you'll always, always have a reason to be yourself and a reason to not let people down, especially the ones that mean the most.And when it comes to [00:46:00] being until you see it, I think you need to understand the journey. Understand that people won't understand where you want to go. People are not gonna understand your dream because it's yours. The dream and the vision that you created for yourself and your family or your mission, other people are not going to see it the way you want to.Only you can see it, and you have to understand that not everyone's gonna be supportive. Not everyone's gonna want you to win, and you need to understand that it doesn't really matter what everybody else wants. All that matters is what you want, and just be passionate about it and don't let do everything that you need to do to keep your passion alive.And that's one thing that I, I make sure that I do every single day, like an every single day. Les, I listen to Justin Bieber. Do you know why? Because I like Justin Bieber. People look at a big black guy and want me to listen to Snoop Dogg. I don't wanna listen to Snoop Dogg. I want Justin Bieber. I like Bonjovi.You know Bonjovi, probably walks alone in the [00:47:00] dark. That's my job, Les. But I make sure that I do things every day to make happy. Because it's all about just being as honest as you can for yourself. And I think when you're talking about investing in something and trying to achieve something, just be yourself.Whether, whether there's a tsunami or a tornado , there's gonna be so many things that are gonna wanna shape your personality and your character. Make sure you stay solid. Mm-hmm. Make sure you stay solid and do what you wanna do and uh, and that's how you really achieve it, I think.. And I think when you like, like the podcast is called Be It Until You See It.I think there's nothing more powerful than that. That that's that saying. As soon as I seen the name of the podcast, it, I, I can't, it blew me away cuz it's something that I've literally done my whole life and this is why it made sense for me to speak to you as. Mm-hmm. Thank you for the opportunity girl.Really Lesley Logan: do appreciate it. , thank you so much. Uh, truly this was a [00:48:00] dream. And, um, blew, blew my dreams out of the water. It was everything more than I ever anticipated. You were amazing y'all. How are you going to use these tips in your life? I want you to tag . I want you to tag the Be It pod.I want you to share this episode no matter how, you know how to share it. I don't care if it, you just show it to someone or if you actually know the tech to share it. I want, don't let that stop you from, from taking something that inspired you and giving it to someone else, because that could be the best thing you do for them that day.I will. I'm so grateful for Steven for sharing your reel with me because that's how we got here. And you always bring a smile to my face and I can tell you're changing the lives of those You're with Soo. Thank you so much everyone. Until next time. Be It Till You See It.. Javeno McLean: Thank you, Les. Lesley Logan: That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to [00:49:00] introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.Be It Till You See it is the production of the Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan: It is produced and edited by the Epic team at Disenyo Brad Crowell: our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production, music, and our brandingby designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan: Ch. Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell: Trans.Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website, and finally to Meredith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Hello? Hello? Hey. Hey, [00:50:00] Leslie. Let's do it. Girl. Thank you for inviting me. Let'Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
199. Three Ways to Expand Into The Life You Deserve

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2023 42:24


How would you live if you truly believed that the universe is working in your favor? How can you step into a life that will expand with you and fulfill all your dreams? Tune in for a messy journey through uncertainty to decisions that become aligned. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The moment of realization that perfection was not a serving factor. Allowing the universe to work in your favor How you learn the micro steps of confidence The impact of the animalistic side of the brain The new way of creating contentThe three components of manifesting the life you want BIOWith over a billion organic views, Hilary Billings is a popular viral video creator and strategist. She is also the Co-Founder and CEO of Attentioneers, where she leads a creative agency that helps brands and their partners drive exponential audience growth through viral content.As evidenced by the fact that she grew from 0-400k followers on TikTok in 40 days, Hilary understands the psychology of capturing and keeping attention online. She uses this expertise to demystify TikTok for her clients and to help them build genuine relationships with their followers – all while going viral.A certified personal brand strategist, Hilary has worked with a gamut of high-performing entrepreneurs, including billionaires, Victoria's Secret models, and New York Times best-selling authors. A former Miss Nevada, journalist, on-camera host, and TV producer, Hilary has also worked with national traditional media outlets including USA Today, E! News, and Extra! Entertainment Television. As a highly sought-after speaker, Hilary has shared the stage with William Shatner and Bon Jovi. She speaks on the psychology of attention, and how to get it both on-and-offline in a content-saturated and apathetic world. Considered an authority on branding and viral content, Hilary's insights have been featured in Entrepreneur, Huffington Post, and Thrive Global.Episode References/Links:Attentioneers Agency Website  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipWaitlist for the flashcards deckUse this link to get your Toe Sox!ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 00:39Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Hey Be It babe. All right, I'm stoked, this, get ready to write this whole thing down my perfectionist overachievers, this woman is here for you. She gets you, she understand you. Yes, that's me. But it's also our guest, Hilary Billings. She has just really made an incredible career for herself. And I think it's easy to see people doing stuff and go, must be nice. We've talked about this before with Tanya Dalton. Let's be nice. It's so easy for them. Like, yeah, they could do it, but I can't. And honestly, like, what I love about Hillary's story, and we could have gone 17 different ways with this episode, so I will have to have her back. But you are gonna hear that she can't, she started out like a lot of us. Most of us started out in a position where we didn't have money. We didn't have people around us as models for what to do. And also like, there was a lot of things out of our control that kept us from being who we wanted to be in this world, or we thought we wanted to be in this world. And so what I hope you get out of this episode is that life is such a journey. And we're supposed to do it together. And so thank you for being a listener of the show. Because, I mean, I couldn't do the show without you. I really couldn't. So thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being you. And here is Hilary Billings. All right, Be It babes. I am really thrilled. Because honestly, we should be doing this podcast in person, we actually live close enough, we probably should have done that. But I'm really excited because, you know, the world is a funny place. And I was introduced to this woman a couple of times. And a couple of times, we had texted back like let's get together. And like true women who work for themselves. Life gets really busy and things get in the way. But this is really funny how we came upon this. She reached out about wanting some help. And someone's like Lesley, you should, you would be perfect for her. And then we hit it off on a zoom call. And we realized we were literally down the street from each other at the more we were talking. And so Hillary Billings is my guest today. She is a neighbor. Even if there's a freeway in between, and she's an incredible woman who has a wonderful journey that I can't wait for you to hear about. Because y'all we I think it's really easy for us to think about life happening to us. And really, it can be the thing that's happening for you. And Hillary is going to tell you that, so Hillary, will you tell everyone who you are and what you're rocking at?Hilary Billings 08:51Oh my gosh, Lesley, we should have done this in person. What were we thinking?Lesley Logan 08:54I don't know. I literally, I was like, Oh, she could have just been to kind of come over.Hilary Billings 08:59Walked over, had coffee and sat down.Lesley Logan 09:03I would have made you a latte. I have a machine now.Hilary Billings 09:06Jesus, we'll have to redo this whole thing over again. We'll just come back we'll do more. (Lesley: Yes, there'll be more I agree). You know, what I think is so beautiful about this is that it is such a testament to me that the universe will not let you miss the thing that's meant for you. Because we have spent so much time going back and forth. I think over the past two years, I'm being introduced in multiple different ways to different people. And I think that there's something so special about that, that even though it wasn't it was misaligned in the time or I was here and you were there or whatever was happening that we couldn't make it work that the universe will always ensure that the people that you need to meet come back into your life. And that gives me so much peace now as someone that has struggled with anxiety and perfectionism and needing to continue to roll the ball up the hill all the time that the universe is conspiring in your favor. So I love that.Lesley Logan 09:55Yeah, I you as you say that I am it brings up all the different times that like the universe like would not let me not know this person. Yeah, yes, yes.Hilary Billings 10:06We've all been there right? It's so it's such a beautiful thing. So I'm Hilary billings I'm based out of Las Vegas, Nevada. And I also am a recovering perfectionist and I have such a very eclectic background, I'd like to call myself a cat with nine lives. I started off in psychology, went into journalism, I accidentally became a travel blogger, accidentally became Miss Nevada due to a firework accident and separating second and third degree burns. And then all this, again, this continual evolution of the universe lovingly taking me off my path, and abruptly putting me into a new scenario that I had to figure out how to work. And so now, I am a content creator of viral video content creator for social media and run a creative agency where we help personal brands and entrepreneurs and companies and their agency partners, you know, make content that people care about that their audiences want to see. So we help drive revenue and reputation that way, but lifetime learner, and certainly I like to consider myself a professional adventurer in a lot of capacities. Having done everything from Lion taming to beauty pageants to Red Carpet hosting and beyond. Lesley Logan 11:21Okay, so, I, I think we need to tell people like when you say like, you have animals, like you have farm animals situation happening as well, right, like so... And you have a, like, land with animals.Hilary Billings 11:33So I do have a horse that I keep her at a barn in the mountains edge in Las Vegas, and then we do have 125 pound great pyrenee, so yes, we're, I'm slowly accruing, the animals. I don't have all the land yet, but we're gonna manifest that at some point. It's coming, I'm sure. But I have always been able to be around lots of land, lots of animals, which has been fantastic and, and had a lot of opportunity to work with different even big Catholic African lions and tigers throughout the years. So...Lesley Logan 12:04So So what I guess like there's so many places we can go because I'm sure people like the firework thing, what's going on? ... But I guess like, I want to start with like, when did you recognize that your perfectionism was getting in the way? Because like, I can see how like on so many of those things like being the psychologist being the journalist, like some of that, like the perfectionism might even felt like it was a superpower. But like, obviously, it led you to something else, like can you think of a time where like, this is actually keeping me from having the life I want to live.Hilary Billings 12:34So the first moment that I recognized that my perfectionism may not be serving me was when I received 14 rejection letters for graduate school. So I was the number one graduate of UNLV, they gave me an award called the outstanding graduate for being the best student out of all the students and I was so proud of that. And that was based upon not only academics, where I had a three point 90 GPA, I had one A minus my entire college career, it was in world history. Ironically, I like to blame it on the teacher failed many, many moons later. But you know, it's based upon your academics, your research, your community involvement, I was taking 21 credits a semester, which is a full course load, plus running multiple research labs, plus working part time jobs. And I was on a full academic ride scholarship. I, I couldn't, my parents couldn't afford for me to go to college. And I was very heavily involved with the finances of paying for our house and our mortgage when I was growing up. So I knew that if I wanted to go to college, I had to make it happen. So I applied for so many scholarships that by the time I graduated, UNLV was actually paying me to go to school. And I was terrified that we're going to ask for the money back because I don't have enough expenses for all of this and books and what have you. But and I made the sacrifice to stay in Las Vegas to go to school. It wasn't the dream that I wanted. I always wanted to get out and go to someplace exotic and wanted to attend an Ivy League. But you know, again, the realistic perfectionist in me is like, let's graduate debt free and then figure it out. So when I was applying to graduate schools, like if there was a top draft pick for graduate school programs, I was very competent, that I was that I was doing everything that I had been told, since I was a freshman that if you do these things, you will get into a great program. And it just so happened, you know, as the world will, will come upon you. There was a lot that was outside of my control for this. I graduated right after the 2008. So graduated 2010. So we're still dealing with the 2008 crisis and recession and that crash. PhD programs will not take students unless they can fully fund them at least on the clinical psychology side. And so I was up against the same, you know, 700 applicants from across the country, and I would see the same 70 people at all of the interviews that I was going and paying to participate in. And through that process, I will get phone calls from the professors being like we loved you, you are our number two or number three pick, we only have enough money to fund student number one, or it was you were great. But the students that we've chosen are actually already practicing physicians that have their masters that are coming back to get their PhDs now, because of the way the market has turned. And there are a better deal than having to pay for somebody on a full PhD, right? There was even one letter that I got that was not addressed to me. And someone, someone had crossed out the name, and then misspelled my name over that for the rejection letter. So if you want to talk about feeling like I wasn't even worthy of a reprint of a piece of paper to get my rejection it was was pretty horrific. (Leslye: Oh my God) But that was the first moment of like, you know, I've done everything according to what I was told to do. And now I'm in a place where the the future that I was promised isn't available to me, at least on in the timeline that I wanted it. So now what and what would this look like? So I did what any rational 20 something would do. I bought a plane ticket to Nicaragua. I started a travel blog and went to a surf retreat with a bunch of other really powerful females to figure out my life.Lesley Logan 16:16No, I free I love when a perfectionist like like, what is it like goes off the deep end. They're like, I'm going to Nicaragua, they go to Costa Rica, they go somewhere.Hilary Billings 16:27Go on this journey. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. So let's just go the other way and just swing the pendulum completely in the opposite direction. Yeah, certainly that moment. That was the first time that I started to consider what did I want my life to look like versus what should it look like? Which I think for our generation, I think now, especially for younger generation, that's a lot easier. We're more empowering about build the lifestyle that you want to have, and then find the career that fits within that. And I don't feel like 10 years ago, that was an option.Lesley Logan 16:59No, no, hello, I'm an elder millennial. And I can tell you like I did it all right too and I was like, and then I was, you know, going to college with 911. And then I graduated right before. So i i The perfectionist rebellion is definitely something I think millennials and Gen Xers are like very clear, because like I did what you said. Yeah, it bit me in the behind. (Hilary: Yeah). Yeah!Hilary Billings 17:23Absolutely. Well, especially, I mean, I feel like every teen movie, every show is always about like go to college, every adult that we talk to is like, you must go to college, you must do it this way. And then you'll make a lot of money and be happy. And it's like, okay, great. I will I'll do this path, just like you said. And it was very interesting to see, as I started blogging about this, like journey of finding myself and feeling at the time, like I was just really journaling the downfall of my life and like this is the unraveling of the Hillary. So here you go, and away from my friends and family to keep in touch with me while I was traveling. And then to get the response back from people all over the world who we're dealing with a very similar mindset. And so I ended up building a readership in over 100 countries didn't know what to do with it at the time, didn't know how to monetize it. But it was very powerful for that to be a connection point where people wanted to have that conversation and, and to recognize that we were all dealing with it in our own little spheres in our microcosms and could finally have a way to connect about it.Lesley Logan 18:24Yeah, I am. I think like I think what's really cool is you just kind of like I'm just going to try something and I'm not going to have the plan to follow which is a little it's just like very hard for (Hilary: terrifying) it's terrifying for perfectionists but like you were correct like I don't think people understand that time is very specific. You all there were lawyers were going out of college who could not get a an internship like unpaid internship because four and five year attorneys were like I'll take that job because I just I and so they're getting these like experienced attorneys for cheaper than a college graduate. So it was just a really hard time and so I think when those things happen for you clearly it puts you it took you out of like I'm just gonna follow the next step and the next step and it made you go from a paint by number life to something that you are actually painting from scratch and so I think that's just really really cool. From so as you as you got into this travel blogging thing and then you went on to this next thing what what was your Northstar? Was it like, what feels good? What was like, how are you picking what to do next? Were you journaling about it? Were you talking to people that you have a coach or therapy what was going on?Hilary Billings 19:40Yeah, it was it was a lot of allowing the universe to show me while me trying to hold on to some resemblance of control, which was not working out very well for me if I'm being honest, like, you know, the the travel blogging aspect can seem so fantastical and what a movie like experience and there were so many of those moments. A majority of the time I was terrified. A lot of the time I was crying, there was a lot of having to work through these emotional blocks. I think the biggest thing that I learned through that process that I hadn't previously really embraced was that I am fully capable of making my own decisions, even just and that's the beautiful thing about travel, right? Especially when you go to places where you don't speak the language, you don't know where you're going. This was a time this was pre international phone plan. So like, could not Google did not have Google on my phone, where I was going. And, and I was very much alone. Like I, in order for me to feel connection, I was just journaling things I wanted to tell people later, because I didn't want to spend the money to try to text them. It was still like $1 text message or something back then, which is why... so ...Lesley Logan 20:49It's okay, everyone listening to this nose. And if we have anyone who's like, what, like, they it's like three people and Hello. Yeah ...Hilary Billings 20:57(Lesley: Thank you. I was really hard back then). Okay, so no, we can ... And that was a whole thing and a way to call people till after nine o'clock. Oh!Lesley Logan 21:07I had, I was in Brazil alone. And I could only use my phone and computer at the hotel like you couldn't even, restaurants did not have WiFi for me to use. So I would like map it out. I would like know all of the things I'm going to do for the whole day. And then no one would know where I was or who I was with until I got back to the hotel rooms.Hilary Billings 21:29Yeah. Yeah. And you're just helping ... make it back. And...Lesley Logan 21:34Yeah, yeah, that's pretty much it. I mean, I believed that I was gonna be okay. But like, you know, it's kind of funny looking back. It's like, wow, like now when I'm in Cambodia. I've gone to so many places in my village that my Wi Fi just pings on as I'm going to tuck tuck. I'm like, Oh, I have Wi Fi I can like check in with this person.Hilary Billings 21:55The privilege that we have now that we didn't have back then. But you know, I think there was something really special about that time, because it really forced you to have to sit like I wake up in the morning, wherever I was, and be like, Okay, today we're in Fiji, I need to get breakfast. What do you want for breakfast? Well, where are we going to go to get that breakfast, and just learning those micro steps of confidence of like, hey, look, you got breakfast for yourself, and you didn't know where you were like, good job on you. Goldstar. It really helped to build my confidence that I could make decisions for my life that would allow me to not only be safe, but to thrive. And I think it's really important. And that was that became my MO for a majority of my 20s was when I was feeling unstable when I was feeling like the drama of the situation around nearby come back to the states and I was working some, you know, low paying job, doing God knows what and retail that I could always just go away and remove myself from that situation and find a way to make the uncomfortable comfortable as a way to find that self growth. And that that kind of became my my default. Because I didn't know another way of doing that. That would keep me at one point.Lesley Logan 23:02You know, that thank you for saying that. I think that is something so key that right now, every listener everybody can actually be doing. I think we're because so much of what happens to us is outside of our control, and we're not actually honoring or celebrating what we did that was inside of our control. We're just like so focused on like, what we weren't able to control, we should have been able to control that. And so I love that you're like okay, I got like, I didn't have breakfast and dinners, no breakfast and I got breakfast and I'm having breakfast right now. And I think like to the perfectionist listening to this, she'd be like, of course she got breakfast. It's like no, no, that is actually worth celebrating. If you did not know the next three steps and your day and you somehow found a way to make them you have to give yourself a pat on the back. Otherwise you're gonna have a lot more tears like you brought up tear there was a lot of tears. Yeah, cuz you're trying to become someone new, you're trying to do something you didn't have a muscle for. It's just like going to the gym, you're gonna soreness is going to happen when you're training in a muscle group you have never trained before, it's the same thing for anything you're doing in life. So I love that you shared that because I hope people I hope if you're listening, it's like, what can you just literally look back at your day and go, Oh, I just did that. Like I literally just did that she just set? Well that's a huge thing. A lot of people looking for confidence doesn't come from like, you've been deemed it comes from these little action steps. So I love that.Hilary Billings 24:19Yeah, I think that we forget that. On a very basic level, we are still animals. And so we're constantly dealing with what a natural evolution has given us, which is the anxiety of finding safety and of being able to feel competent, that we can take care of ourselves, especially when we're trying something new. Or we're in a situation that feels threatening for some reason. And that could be it feels threatening to because it's it's new and different or because there's something that's a piece of danger and our brain doesn't know the difference. It's funny, you know training, I'm an equestrian I write 100 jumper and my horse is very intelligent, but that also means she has a lot more anxiety than a lot of the horses because she is running the permutations as to what around her is potentially going to be a threat. And there is a particular corner of the arena that she has decided is this spooky, scary corner. And so we've been spending a lot of time with her up there, just giving her pats like when she walks through the corner and doesn't freak out or try to bolt away, she gets pats and she gets reinforcement, or she gets a cookie. And it seems like if we were to do that to a person, it would seem stupid. But at the same time, it's like you're learning to calm that animalistic side of your brain that says that there is something to be afraid of here. And the more that we can reinforce that we have ourselves in these moments, the more data points we're putting on the board, that we can help ourselves for future situations when we're looking down the line. I mean, the more that I look at how I've been able to build my confidence brick by brick, it mostly has to do with being able to reference these previous moments of my life and being like, Okay, well, this thing feels really scary right now. But I previously tamed lions, so I'm pretty sure I can get over this thing right now. Or this, this moment of my career seems very vulnerable and scary right now. But I previously was rejected from every program that I thought was my future and was able to build something that was really successful and exciting. So clearly, whatever comes next is going to be okay.Lesley Logan 26:18That is, okay, everyone can rewind that. Because they, it just goes back to and that's why being a perfectionist, an overachiever can really hold us back, it can definitely be a superpower. And a lot of ways, especially when you're younger, or you're trying to overcome some things. But if you but if you only live in that zone, you're not giving yourself credit for anything you did, really, because if it wasn't perfect, it wasn't good enough. So you're not even like celebrating. It's that Yeah, but so and so help me it's like, okay, so they helped you. And you did it. Right. So I love I love like...Hilary Billings 26:53You know, we don't do anything alone. Like regardless of even if you're going to the grocery store to buy your groceries, there was a farmer that had to make that food and then it was put on a truck and a driver brought it to the store and someone had to put it on a shelf, and then someone had to check you out. Like, there is nothing that we do in this life that we do in solidarity against anyone else. So I think we need to remove this concept or this allowing that that is something that should be praised, because it's not realistic, and it doesn't exist. So we all need help. And I think that that can be one of the bravest things that you do is to know when to ask for help and how to get it.Lesley Logan 27:30Yeah, no one to ask. And then also, maybe it's like, I mean, there's there's a reason why there's five minute journals, or it's gratitude journals, there's like, there's people saying you should like write three things down. You're just taking a moment. I remember when I was going through my tiny habits training with BJ Fogg, you know, his sister said at the end of the day, write down a story that happened that day, because you're going to use it to help people create habits because story is what helps people understand these things. And you told some great stories help us understand how you got to where you are. But this is so important, y'all. If you don't recognize the things that you did do, you actually cannot in the moments of like, oh my gosh, how am I gonna get through this, you're not gonna have anything to fall back on to go, Oh, I've done this before. Actually, like, I remember I was walking down this. It's not even an alley. It's a street. But like, I think people in America would call it an alley. And it was, it was it was like 830 at night. But you know, I'm in Cambodia. So it's, you know, dark, pitch black, and I'm walking, and I had just walked that street in the daylight. But for whatever reason, it's dark. I'm by myself, and I'm starting to, like, have fear. And you're right, you said it, like the brain doesn't know a new experience from like, a dangerous experience. And I started to like, pick up my pace. And then I heard like, crap, and I almost wanted to run but I'm in sandals. So that's not going to happen. And I was just like, we actually walked up this without any issues two hours ago. And I bet if we just walked calmly, we would get to the other side of the street and there nothing and it was like nothing was happening. I was in zero danger. But our brain can tell us a story and if we don't have something reference back to like, help us stay present. Then we're gonna miss out on all the potential opportunities that there are and then to go back to I just want to highlight because it makes me think of when I was a kid, you'd put up like we we do everything is with somebody is also self like it just is. Do you remember the movie? My cousin Vinnie? I don't know if anyone Okay, so my mom loved this movie. Loved it. Hi, mom. She's watching this on YouTube. So she loves this movie. And she and at the end of this movie, Joe Pesci is like so it was he was like, I just want to deal with my first case by myself and she's like, Oh my gosh, what if you went all of your cases all the time, but at the end you have to look at someone go thank you. And then she goes, What a fucking nightmare. Oh my god, that's so terrible. And it's just so funny because that's what we as professionals overachievers, do we like reject help? We don't even like look up to see what It is around us, I could actually help us get to that moment because we're like, if I don't do it alone that I didn't do it.Hilary Billings 30:06Yeah. And it's like, when did we create that was the rule. And by the way, I knowing that if we can all objectively agree that that rule isn't achievable, that we actually can't get there. Because everything that we have in this life is built upon the backs of others in our community, then we're just setting ourselves up to lose the game. So why don't we make rules that we can actually win off of? Wouldn't that be nice?Lesley Logan 30:32Wouldn't that be nice? When that be nice? Okay, so I want to talk because you have, I mean, you're the cat with nine lives you'd like I don't wanna say reinvented or recreated because you're the, you're taking your amazing self into another situation. So can you tell us because now you're doing something new, that that is very needed in this world. And also, like, it wasn't anything you went to college for, And were trained, like, follow these things. So like, what are you doing now? And how, like, what what are you having to overcome to like, kind of, Be It Till You See it in this moment?Hilary Billings 31:02Yeah, so a few years ago, I was presented the opportunity to have my own monetize Facebook page. At the time, I was making these comedic monologue videos and just having a ton of fun making them and they were starting to pick up some traction. So an acquaintance that I knew was a publisher that was working with Facebook to get these monetized pages. So my partner and I decided to take one on and be like, this would be great. I have a background I wrote for USA Today, I've been a celebrity interviewer I've done all of these videos have put together all this content, I know how to make a really great headline. He's a former billboard charting artist and musician and tech entrepreneur. So we can certainly make amazing content that people are going to want to watch. And we started that that Facebook watch channel and we bombed, it was bad. We couldn't we couldn't make anything work. And it was so frustrating. I want to say for like six to nine months, we were like nose to the grindstone, just hitting our heads against the wall, not understanding why our content wasn't converting. And we were seeing all these creators around us having so much success, and it was so frustrating. And we're like, we're so smart. We're so dedicated. What are we doing wrong? And we hit this point of, we either have to find a new way of doing this or we have to let it go and try something else. So what are we going to do? So we sat down, and we must have watched hundreds if not 1000s of viral videos, and we created a spreadsheet in true perfectionist fashion. As to okay, what's what's happening in this video? What second one was happening a second three? What's the opening image? How many people are in this video? How long is this video? What's the theme of this video? Is there music? Is there captions? Is there subtitles? And as we started just putting in all this data, removing the emotion of you know, we're not good enough, or we're not doing this right, and really starting to take this experimental scientific research approach of what are these videos all have in common? We started to see some themes. So we took that knowledge into our next video, and that next video did 5 million views. And then the video after that to 10 million views. And it's not to say that we kept this incremental pace where everything kept outpacing each other but and not every video that we did from then on out was a banger. But, you know, over the course of the next two years, we did over a billion organic views, I was able to organically grow my Tik Tok from zero to 400,000 followers in 40 days. And we realized that we had created a methodology and the science of how to leverage morality and really leverage the psychology the tension to make great content that people wanted to watch and engage in. And that would allow us to really shoot outside of our our followership, you know, a lot of times on social media, you're reaching one to 6% of the number of people that follow you. And that's what when brands are looking to partner with influencers. That's what they're looking at as those metrics. And we had minimal followers in comparison, like maybe 10,000 to 100,000. And we were still able to get these, you know, five 10 million views, because of how we were constructing the content. And the content itself wasn't something that either one of us was really passionate about. It was a lot of very viral content, so pranks and gifting videos, and DIY and five minute crafts. But as we were looking at, you know, we knew this knowledge was special, we knew that everything that we've learned and how we were able to implement it was really powerful. And where could we find a way to add the value and be of service that we wanted to be? And it became very clear with my background and brand strategy and his background and serving different corporations and brands, that we would help other people, other entrepreneurs that were mission driven messengers to get their messages to the target audiences that they wanted to reach. And it's such a it's such a challenge right now. Right short form video is the golden standard. Everyone is trying and racing so hard to put up content, that a lot of it that there's just massive quantity. 20 million videos are going up a day. And a lot of it sucks. (Lesley: Yeah). And so it's like how do we create quality content that people want to watch? That's intentional. That doesn't make business owners and companies and entrepreneurs feel like they're in this constant hamster wheel spinning cycle of having to make a bunch of content to just to keep up with the Joneses. And that's where we put our focus. So I, it's, I think what I've learned through this process is that everything's an iteration on an iteration. And how do you take the skills that you previously have an add them to this next phase of your life, for the longest time, I really struggled with my career, my title being the thing that drove my worth, and to this day, that is still something that I have to battle consistently. But the more that I find myself being able to say, I'm able to be of service to people, and I'm learning, and I don't know if this is going to be something that we're doing 10 years from now, but I know that this business, and the way that we're helping people right now, and all of the energy that I'm putting into this is going to grow me it's going to grow others, and we're all going to continue to, to have this evolutionary journey and grow on our path. So it's really exciting to see some of the results, we've been able to get people, you know, millions of impressions across social media channels, we had a client that won a shorty Impact Award for some... (Lesley: WHat?!) Yeah, for some of their content. You know, we've had clients 240x their results. And, and being able to do it in a way that while it leverages the psychology of attention, it also really helps people stay true and authentic to their brand, and not feel like they have to dance or follow trends or constantly be researching. You know, it's a, it's a new way of looking at how you make content, which is always hard for people when they're so used to just seeing these particular celebrities or gurus that they follow, doing things that are working for them. And not recognizing that there was a long road to get there. So trying to ease that, that journey for both the brand and for the user. It's been really, really fantastic.Lesley Logan 37:11First of all, I think that it's incredible what you guys were able to do I love I want to highlight like, you guys took it being personal out to like actually observe and like you said, it's like a science experiment or whatever. And it's, it's true, I think, you know, no matter what you're trying to do, you're like, the more you make it personal about you, the harder it is, the more you can go. It's actually it's not about me at all. You know, like, I remember when we Brad made me get on YouTube, I think we're eight years now. And I like I don't think we went through a filming where I didn't cry. Like, I don't think there was a single filming where at some point, I didn't cry, put some cold water on my face and try again. And it wasn't until I realized that those videos were not about me, they were absolutely about the people watching them that we actually started getting traction they've been you know, and the channel is done really well for the niche that it is. It's kind of crazy. You know, and but I love that you guys, you're like, Okay, it's not, we're gonna stop thinking about us, we're actually just gonna, like, look at what is working. And like, see how we can recreate it. And then instead of recreating it, so that could just be about you guys winning, you guys were like, How can I have we actually make this help people who actually want to change the world in different ways? And I still resonate with like, what am I calling myself? What is my title and also, like, have wanting to have that certainty? I think everyone listening like, of course, will have certainty that like, this is gonna be the thing that I do for the rest of my life. And I think the reality is, is that as long as you're a curious person, that thing is going to change all the time. And I don't know, gone are the days that like, you know, my grandfather after like after the base, like professional baseball and military, he was working for Coca Cola for the whole his whole life. Yeah, for some people, that is an option out there. But for a lot of us, especially creatives. And if you're listening this Hello, you are one that is really not the that's not it.Hilary Billings 39:08It's wild to think about that I'm working in an industry that literally did not exist when I was going to college, right? Like TikTok was not a thing. We're now on TikToks advisory board. We have a great partnership with them. These, these weren't even platforms, Instagram was just barely coming out of the womb at this time. So, you know, I think the more that we can stay open to the fact that there were so many technological advances and things that are happening again, outside of our control, that are adding to this human experience that we don't even know really in five to 10 years, what problems people are going to be having that we can solve that the knowledge that we're gathering right now can help people solve. So yes, I think it's so important to be able to stay open to that, to not hold the content so precious and so near and dear to us, which is such a hard thing to do as a perfectionist as somebody that is afraid of, when I used to make these comedic monologue videos, they would take days because even though I was making a three minute video, I would spend so much time looking at the words that I was writing on the page to see what issue someone might take with something that I was saying, like what was going to be the attack on me? Was I prepared to defend this line? That was supposed to just be some sort of comedic monologue funny skit.Lesley Logan 40:26And I'm sure I'm sure even with all of that three day span, you still had someone who was pissed about the word that you say.Hilary Billings 40:31Oh, yeah, that wouldn't even watch the video, right? I did a video. I'm like, why having a girlfriend like having a cat, right? And like, we do our own thing. Don't tell us to wash our hair, you know, just like silly things like that. And of course, people are like, Oh, you're anti feminist. So I do want to like why having a boyfriend is like having a dog. And then of course, it's like, how dare you? Yeah, yeah, it's just, you know, you can't win. And that's the truth.Lesley Logan 40:56You're, well, I mean, like, I, you're not, not everyone's gonna like you. And by the way, you don't like everybody, like you don't. So, so I hold yourself to a standard you won't hold anyone else do. Anyways. Oh, my gosh, we could keep going. Obviously, you're gonna come back. We're gonna have you in person. Maybe we'll have you like, come do some recaps of Brad's ... Yeah, let's do it. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break before we let you go, obviously, to find where people can find you, follow you work with you, and your Be It action items. All right, Hillary, where do you like to hang out? Obviously, TikTok is where you go. But where can people connect with you, if they're like, oh my gosh, this is the girl who can tell me do the thing that I want to do.Hilary Billings 41:35If you're interested in learning more about how you can leverage the psychology of attention for your short form videos, that's Instagram rails, YouTube shorts, Facebook rails, Tik Tok, or beyond or even just finding a better way of getting your message out there, you can find us at attentioneers.com. That's attention e e r s .com. You can book a free call with myself or my co founder. And we'd be happy to see how we can help you move forward and all of your dreams and aspirations of being a mission driven messenger that grows your reach.Lesley Logan 42:04I love it. Okay, before I let you go, you've given us so many great tips. But for the people who skipped at the end, TLDR, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps they can take to Be It Till You See It.Hilary Billings 42:17So I have found, obviously travel to get uncomfortable and find a way to make that comfortable with a mechanism that I use a lot in my 20s As I've been in my 30s. Now, it's much harder to be able to pick up and go and find that time. And so I've had to learn to utilize different tools in order to find the expansion and the growth that I've wanted to, and to feel more deserving in my day to day life. And to really hone in on that competence. I follow a woman named Lacey Phillips, she's fantastic, she runs to be magnetic. And there's three components that she talks about when it comes to manifesting the life that you want. And it all comes down to creating and really feeling deserving. The universe wants to give you what, what you want to have, but you have to actually feel deserving and worthy of receiving it. So in order to get to the levels of that you want to be at, you need to be expanding. So a lot of the times we don't see to believe that something that we want is actually possible. So I might say that I want a million dollar year. But if I don't know anybody, or any other entrepreneur that's come from my situation with my background, that's made a million dollars in a year. Even though that's something that I want, like intrinsically, I don't unconsciously believe that that can happen for me. So going out, and really finding and putting it out to the universe, that whatever it is that you're trying to call in, that you want examples, you want to be able to see to believe that those things are possible. So we want to find expanders, we've got to unblock what standing in our way. Because a lot of the times, it's our own limiting beliefs. And again, we can want to be calling in something like I want a million dollars a year. But if I have this belief that that's going to take me running myself into the ground in order to make that happen, or I have to completely forego every other aspect of my life in order to have that type of success. I'm going to hold myself back. So really understanding what it is that standing in my way and what fears that I have to help keep me safe and secure in my little bubble. What is it that I need to unblock that I need to go in and reprogram for myself and the last piece is taking aligned action what is it that I actually should be doing that's me standing in my work to say yes, this is what I believe this is how much I believe I belong here. And I am going to make decisions not about wanting validation from somebody else or that comment or or you know what I'm afraid someone's going to say about me but knowing that my voice matters and taking the actions that align with that but we need all three components in order to expand unblock and take the aligned action to manifest and call what we want and that will help us to be the worthy person that the universe wants us to be.Lesley Logan 44:57Who I have chills Like, I love that you brought this up because I've been on a, like, manifestation kick for my own self because I'm like, you know, I think I haven't been very specific. And like I've been, I've been very I've been, I've thought it was clear, but I'm like, you know, I probably could have been more specific like the color of the car like the things you know, like all the things you know. So, thank you for bringing this up. I'm going to use these y'all. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know tag Hillary, tag to Be It pod. Hillary, thank you so much. I am so freaking grateful that everyone is conspiring to make sure that we connect and we are friends and now that I am in Vegas for quite some time we are absolutely going to hang out. We're not the wind blows to a destination.Hilary Billings 45:41Oh Mary Poppins umbrellas ready to go.Lesley Logan 45:44No, you guys have no idea how windy Vegas is people think it's just hot and desert and the gusts can be like 70 miles an hour. So at any rate, if you did put an umbrella out there, you might not know where you're gonna land. But Hillary, I'm just so grateful for you. Thank you all for listening. This is so fun. Please share this with a friend, share this episode on whatever social media platform you love. Don't be perfect about it like however you know how to share it is the best way to do it. We love that and until next time, Be It Till You See Tt. Bye That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!     Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.      Brad Crowell 46:07It's written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 46:07It is produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.    Brad Crowell 46:07Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.  Lesley Logan 46:07Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velasquez for our transcriptions.Brad Crowell 46:07Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hypnosis for Permanent Weight Loss
Ep 180 Be Connected Rather than Perfect

Hypnosis for Permanent Weight Loss

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 50:06


We've all had those moments where we feel so disconnected from our bodies. We're restricted by our own high expectations and a society that perpetuates perfection. We're constantly comparing ourselves to others and we become too focused on the physical and not enough on how our body actually functions. We're so far removed from the idea of being our best selves that we forget how important it is to reconnect with our body. It's time to start reconnecting with our bodies and embrace the fact that perfection is impossible. It's okay to not be perfect, it's okay to have flaws, it's okay to make mistakes. Learn to celebrate every tiny win instead of focusing on what didn't happen. Instead of striving for perfection, why not strive for self-care? Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential. Self-care comes in many forms, and it's all about finding what works best for you. It could be as simple as taking some time out of your day to do something that makes you happy, or it could be as complex as changing your lifestyle to better reflect your goals and values. Self-care isn't something we do to be perfect, it's something we do to take care of ourselves. It's about listening to our bodies and minds, and taking the time to nurture ourselves. It helps us stay connected to our body and to our feelings. It's about understanding that we're more than just our physical selves, and it's about learning to be more in tune with our mental and emotional health. Instead of striving for perfection, let's start striving for a better relationship with our body. Let's start reconnecting with our body and learn to appreciate what it can do for us. Let's start practicing self-care and realize that it's not selfish, it's essential. Lesley Logan, a 2nd generation certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. In this episode, Let's join Lesley as she takes us along her journey of massive transformation with the help of Pilates and how she's learned to give importance on self-care and how prioritizing yourself isn't selfish but a loving act to be more of help to your loved ones and others. "I don't think people realize that self care isn't selfish. The more we can actually take care of ourselves and prioritize ourselves, the more we give permission to other people in our life to do that, including the family and friends around you. And it builds confidence and you will make better decisions."- Lesley Logan What you will learn from this episode: 04:45 - The massive thing that Pilates has done to her body and life 10:37 - Slow but sure thing about Pilates 12:18 - How all the resistance turned into something she does and helps people with and doing it online 15:19 - The inspiration you get from belonging in a community 16:05 - 'Perfect is boring' 17:20 - How she started other people help themselves 18:24 - Pouring into yourself before pouring into others 21:32 - Self-care isn't selfish 27:15 - Say yes to yourself today before saying yes to others 34:08 - Giving permission to yourself not to know all the answers and no reason to overplease everyone [Be kind to yourself] 37:21 - What perfectionism looks like and how it's affecting you 42:46 - Feel good and do good 46:57 - Make a cheaper investment for yourself early on in life 48:00 - Think about strengthening your body sooner and find out what it can do for you later 50:10 - Talking about her affiliate program 50:37 - Upcoming collaborations Connect with Lesley Logan:   Website: https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/   Connect With Leslie Thornton:   Website: HPWL.CO E-book Facebook LinkedIn Leslie@LeslieMThornton.com  

Mom & Me Astrology Podcast
S4: Episode 7: Understanding Your Natal Venu

Mom & Me Astrology Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2023 39:08


On this week's episode, Mom and Me talk about love to get ready for Valentines Day. We discuss the meaning of Venus in each of the signs and houses, so grab your chart and let's learn some astrology. On todays episode you heard from our sponsor Lesley Logan who runs the podcast ‘Be It Till You See it' To contact Lesley, follow her on social media @lesley.Logan or visit her website at https://lesleylogan.co/

Mom & Me Astrology Podcast
S4: E6: The Power of Your Ascendant

Mom & Me Astrology Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 38:25


On this week's episode, Mom and Me discuss how to self-love based on the sign of you Ascendant. Most people identify with their Sun, but the Ascendant is much more personal as it changes every 4 minutes! Grab your chart and learn easy things you can do to honor your rising sign. On todays episode you heard from our sponsor Lesley Logan who runs the podcast ‘Be It Till You See it' To contact Lesley, follow her on social media @lesley.Logan or visit her website at https://lesleylogan.co/

Shelor Select
#208 | Lesley Logan | Tips To Grow Your Fitness Business

Shelor Select

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 54:10


Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Connect with Lesley on instagram @lesley.logan.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/shelor-select/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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The Winners Paradigm
Episode 83 - How To Be It Till You See It With Lesley Logan

The Winners Paradigm

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2023 36:32


Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Lesley and I jam on the power of Pilates, mindset, homelessness, finding your way, toxicity, and making it in life. I enjoyed talking on a deeper level with Lesley about how we could become something great even if we feel that all we do is grind and fail. Lesley became the best in her field by immersing herself in her craft and falling in love with the journey. You'll Learn: How to recalibrate your mindset How to get out a toxic relationship How to change the story we tell ourselves How to show up when you don't want to How Pilates can help you heal “Most people who believe they're the strongest, they injure themselves the most because they're not flexible. And so then they go do things where they actually just only work on stretching and then that creates some injury. So what I love about Pilates is it's actually there for you. Pre-injury to prevent or post-injury to help you get back to yourself and then continue on really doesn't meet you where you are. But it is an equal balance of strength and stretch” - Lesley Logan Connect With Lesley https://lesleylogan.co/ https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/ Top Recommended Resources: www.thewinnersparadigm.com Now Sponsored By My Fit Life DISCOUNT CODE: TWP20159 For 20% OFF https://myfitlife.net/?ref=3Ogi6ygr Thanks for Rocking With US! To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below. To help out the show: Leave a 5 Star Rating and honest review on Apple Podcast. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one. Subscribe on Apple Podcast --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thewinnersparadigm/support

The Winners Paradigm
Episode 83 - How To Be It Till You See It With Lesley Logan

The Winners Paradigm

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2023 36:32


Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Lesley and I jam on the power of Pilates, mindset, homelessness, finding your way, toxicity, and making it in life. I enjoyed talking on a deeper level with Lesley about how we could become something great even if we feel that all we do is grind and fail. Lesley became the best in her field by immersing herself in her craft and falling in love with the journey. You'll Learn: How to recalibrate your mindset How to get out a toxic relationship How to change the story we tell ourselves How to show up when you don't want to How Pilates can help you heal “Most people who believe they're the strongest, they injure themselves the most because they're not flexible. And so then they go do things where they actually just only work on stretching and then that creates some injury. So what I love about Pilates is it's actually there for you. Pre-injury to prevent or post-injury to help you get back to yourself and then continue on really doesn't meet you where you are. But it is an equal balance of strength and stretch” - Lesley Logan Connect With Lesley https://lesleylogan.co/ https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/ Top Recommended Resources: www.thewinnersparadigm.com Now Sponsored By My Fit Life DISCOUNT CODE: TWP20159 For 20% OFF https://myfitlife.net/?ref=3Ogi6ygr Thanks for Rocking With US! To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below. To help out the show: Leave a 5 Star Rating and honest review on Apple Podcast. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one. Subscribe on Apple Podcast --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thewinnersparadigm/support

Major Daughter Live The Podcast
SELF CARE ISN'T SELFISH CARE WITH LESLEY LOGAN

Major Daughter Live The Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2023 22:15


Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breath-work, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Connect with Lesley on instagram @lesley.logan. Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, Profitable Pilates and host of Be It Till You See It podcast. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching, coaching teachers or recording she is leading retreats around the world. https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/free --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mdntv/message

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Mom & Me Astrology Podcast
S4: Episode 4: Aquarius Season with Lesley Logan

Mom & Me Astrology Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 38:12


On this weeks episode, Mom and Me dive into Aquarius Season with Lesley Logan. Lesley Logan is a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach. She is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast ‘Be It Till You See it' or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. To contact Lesley, follow her on social media @lesley.Logan or visit her website at https://lesleylogan.co/

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KickAss Couples Podcast
Marriage Success: How to Fulfill Your Spouse's Dreams - Lesley Logan & Brad Crowell Ep:85

KickAss Couples Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2023 55:10


We're glad to have you back for another episode of the Kickass Couples Podcast. In this episode, we introduce you to Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell, the Kickass dynamic duo behind multiple thriving enterprises and one fiery romance.Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits, and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalog of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people who have become teachers themselves, and has taught thousands of students in return. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, she hosts her podcast “Be It Till You See it” or travels the world-leading Pilates retreats.Brad Crowell has over 6 years of experience managing online interaction for multiple brands from online marketplaces to music. He manages the day-to-day operations and the team at Lesley Logan Pilates, Inc., a company focused on "more bodies taking Pilates." The three brands, OnlinePilatesClasses.com, ProfitablePilates.com, and LesleyLoganPilates.com, respectively focus on Pilates classes online, fitness business coaching, and Pilates retreats. Brad is a business development specialist focusing on operational workflow, social media marketing, and relationship building.  He is comfortable as the organizational lead in a project management setting. His fields of expertise include user experience and interface design, SEO, community development, and account management.What You'll Learn From This Episode:How to Learn What Each Other Needs: The Key to Effective CommunicationUltimate Commitment: How to Develop a Connection and Achieve Your Goals TogetherHow to be a Respectful Spouse and Maintain a Successful Relationship.How Individuality Pulls Together Two People to Form One Thriving Partnership. Follow Lesley Logan & Brad Crowell:Lesley's Instagram: @lesley.loganLesley's Podcast ‘Be It Till You See It':https://open.spotify.com/show/1SDbt0ZpfkaqiESnHGiYJ8Lesley's Podcast YouTube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley's Website: https://lesleylogan.co/ Lesley & Brad's Website:https://profitablepilates.com/category/marketing/social-media/Brad's Instagram: @be_it_podContact us: info@kickasscouplesnation.comWebsite: https://matthewphoffman.com/kickass-couples-nation/Follow us:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Kickasscouplesnation Instagram: @kickasscouplesnationTikTok: @kickasscouplesnationOrder the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon. 

The Elle Russ Show
Episode #72: Lesley Logan

The Elle Russ Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2023 48:24


Elle Russ chats with Lesley Logan, a 2nd generation certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits, and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalog of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves, and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world-leading Pilates retreats. Connect with Lesley on Instagram @lesley.logan or through the contact page on her website OnlinePilatesClasses.com   SELECTED LINKS: ElleRuss.com Instagram @Lesley.Logan OnlinePilatesClasses.com    

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I Am Refocused Podcast Show
Lesley Logan - Founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com

I Am Refocused Podcast Show

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2022 24:04


Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Connect with Lesley on instagram @lesley.logan.Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, Profitable Pilates and host of Be It Till You See It podcast. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students around the world. When not teaching, coaching teachers or recording she is leading retreats around the world. https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/freehttps://lesleylogan.co/podcast/

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The Fitnessista Podcast: Healthy In Real Life
117: Pilates Chat and Why Self Care Isn't Selfish with Lesley Logan

The Fitnessista Podcast: Healthy In Real Life

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 46:45


Hey hey friends! I'm so excited for today's podcast episode because we have someone on the show who is a personal friend and someone I admire deeply: Lesley Logan. She is an amazing person, a powerhouse instructor, and has inspired thousands of people all over the world to live healthier, happier lives.  Here's what we talk about in today's episode: - Pilates chat: what is it, myth busting, what's the difference between Lagree and classical Pilates, why you shouldn't be intimidated by it - Why self care isn't selfish case - Strategies for maintaining a self care routine during a busy season - Her tips for being “Healthy in Real Life" and so.much.more. Here's a bit more about Lesley and her background: Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. Connect with Lesley on Instagram, check out her website and take classes from her here, and listen to her podcast. Resources from this episode: The weather is cooling down, and I'm still obsessed with my sauna blanket. It feels even BETTER when it's chilly outside and you can use the code FITNESSISTA15 for 15% off! This is one of my favorite ways to relax and sweat it out. I find that it energizes me, helps with aches and pains, I sleep better on the days I use this, and it makes my skin glow. Link to check it out here. You can also use my discount for the PEMF Go Mat, which I use every day! I love love love the meals from Sakara Life! Use this link and the code XOGINAH for 20% off their meal delivery and clean boutique items. This is something I do once a month as a lil treat to myself and the meals are always showstoppers. I'm enjoying a delivery this week and it's been an easy way to check the boxes above.  Get 15% off Organifi with the code FITNESSISTA. I drink the green juice, red juice, gold, and Harmony! (Each day I might have something different, or have two different things. Everything I've tried is amazing.) If any of my fellow health professional friends are looking for another way to help their clients, I highly recommend IHP. You can also use this information to heal yourself and then go one to heal others, which I think is a beautiful mission. You can use my referral link here and the code FITNESSISTA for up to $250 off the Integrative Health Practitioner program. I finished Level 1 and am working my way through Level 2. I highly recommend it! You can check out my review IHP here! Thank you so much for listening and for all of your support with the podcast! Please be sure to subscribe, and leave a rating or review if you enjoyed this episode. If you leave a rating, head to this page and you'll get a little “thank you” gift from me to you.  xo

The Impostor Syndrome Files
Give Yourself Permission to Be a Beginner

The Impostor Syndrome Files

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2022 36:48


In this episode of the Impostor Syndrome Files, we talk about how giving yourself permission to be a beginner empowers you to overcome perfectionism and impostor syndrome and stretch and challenge yourself in new ways. My guest, Lesley Logan, shares her journey from an unfulfilling career in the retail industry to a Pilates instructor and how this helped her to strengthen her relationship with herself, mentally and physically. We also talk about the power of discomfort in building the muscles we need to advance our careers.  About My GuestLesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world-leading Pilates retreats.~Connect with Lesley:lesleylogan.co/podcast onlinepilatesclasses.com/free Instagram: @be_it_pod @lesley.logan ~Connect with Kim and The Impostor Syndrome Files:Join the free Impostor Syndrome Challenge:https://yourcareersuccess.com/impostor-syndrome-challenge/ Learn more about the Leading Humans discussion group:https://yourcareersuccess.com/leading-humans-discussion-group/Join the Slack channel to learn from, connect with and support other professionals: https://forms.gle/Ts4Vg4Nx4HDnTVUC6 Join the Facebook group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/leadinghumansSchedule time to speak with Kim Meninger directly about your questions/challenges: https://bookme.name/ExecCareer/strategy-session Connect on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimmeninger/ Websites:https://yourcareersuccess.comhttps://impostorsyndromefiles.com

Be It Till You See It
138. Three Tips For Getting The Most Out Of Your Doctor Appointment

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2022 37:33


How many times do you walk away from a doctor's appointment feeling discouraged, unseen, and with more questions than answers? No matter how hopeless you feel it is, there is an answer out there. Listen to this episode for ways to approach your appointments, health conversations, and the value of self-advocation.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How LL became comfortable telling her health storiesThree tips for getting the most out of your doctor's appointments.Common should not equal normal How to find the right doctor for you What the middle space means and how to live in itEpisode References/Links:Agency MINICambodia RetreatOPC Blogs  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Welcome back to the Be It Till You See it interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the advocating convo I have with Jessica in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one. And then come back and join us.Brad Crowell  Do it.Lesley Logan  You know what this intro just made me realize, 1) where on what episode, 138. And I'm still reading a script. So anyways, there's that and 2) I need to get Lindsay Rathert on, Lindsay Moore on. (Brad: Yeah.) Because we are gonna actually bring her on. She's already said she wants to be on and to talk about how you can be an advocate. So I'm saying that because I know that Brad and Amanda make notes and help me remember.Brad Crowell  You just coaching the team right here live on the pod.Lesley Logan  Yeah, yeah. Let's if they're listening. (Brad: Okay, okay.) Anyways, aside from that amazing announcement that's going to be ...Brad Crowell  That's not typically how we do things around here, y'all. (Lesley: No.) We're gonna roll with it today.Lesley Logan  I know. I'm getting, I'm giving notes. I'm sure, there's gonna be notes to me. There's any note behind the note. (Brad: Amazing.) Anyways, we are also very ... because we were so busy with Agency Mini week. It is insane and amazing around here, the buzz in this house is so fun, because one of the things we're on this mission to do is more bodies doing Pilates. And one of the ways we can do that, as you know, I've said before, not everyone like's me, I'm not a taco. And so I help, we help other instructors and studio owners grow their businesses, because when they grow their businesses, they're teaching more people. And that means mission accomplished.Brad Crowell  Yes, that's very true. So this week is, is one of the two times each year we do Agency Mini, and it's for fitness business owners of all kinds. And it's where we get a chance to really, you know, get to know you, you get to know us and all the you know how that, how our coaching program works during this week, and it's full of amazing foundational information for fitness business owners. And ...Lesley Logan  I mean, also we do the webinar foundational information, then we answer all of your questions. (Brad: Yeah ...) No matter where are you are in your business, we have an answer for you.Brad Crowell  Yeah. But right now, we're in the middle of it. So it's a little too late to jump in. But you can put yourself on the waitlist for the next round, which we're going to be doing early next year. So if you are interested and information about that just go to profitablepilates.com/mini.Lesley Logan  Yeah, and now we're getting really ready in a week we're gonna be in Chicago ... (Brad: Yeah, hop on a plane.) Yeah, Balanced Bodies Pilates on tour, where I hope we're gonna see you there. And we're gonna see you there, make sure we let us know Brad's and I actually going to be at our booth. And then I will be at our booth and teaching classes. So we want to see you ...Brad Crowell  Yeah, and OPC members, check your emails.Lesley Logan  Oh, yeah, we're working on, we're working on that meetup. So make sure you are watching for that. And then we come back from that on our anniversary, happy anniversary, Babe. (Brad: Oh thanks.) We'll be on a plane and ... (Brad: It's how we do.) It's literally how we do. I mean, if we let this least this one will be together.Brad Crowell  Least this one, we will need together. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah.Lesley Logan  Because two days after we return. So week and two, like two weeks from now is our in person business retreat. (Brad: Yeah.) So which I can't wait. And many of you are like, "Oh, I wanted to the next one." Well, I don't ... there isn't one. So if you're wanting to be on a retreat with us, then you actually just want to join us in Cambodia.Brad Crowell  Yeah, look, if you are like super interested in digging into the customer journey, and the entire process, whether you're a brick and mortar or you're an online business, and all the automations that can be associated with either of those scenarios, you still can join us in real life in Las Vegas for the business retreat. If that's something of interest to you just shoot us a DM otherwise, like Lesley said, at the end of October, we are going to be kicking off our Cambodia retreat is gonna be the first one we've run in more than two years. Thank you COVID. (Lesley: I know. It's so crazy.) And we are really really, really excited to be getting back to one of the places in this world that we are just the most passionate about. I know you've heard me talk about it 100 times but truly, it's one of my favorite places to be on this planet.Lesley Logan  It's so magical. We're going a week ahead of time (Brad: Yeah.) and I'm not sad that our flight out is not as early as we had planned because we get a few more days ...Brad Crowell  It's gonna be amazing to be back there and as you probably already know, I spent a month there earlier this year with Lesley's dad. The two of us went through all 12 bedrooms, we you know figured out what needs to be looked at, adjusted and it was two years of upkeep that you know we were able to like do this great construction on the property, did amazing landscaping and gardening, our place is looking really fantastic. In fact, that just got pictures of our new banana trees that we planted and they're already like, you know, a third again, as tall. It's only been a couple of months. It's crazy to see them grow. You're gonna love hanging with us there. So we hope you come join us.Lesley Logan  Yeah. Because you know what, like, shared experiences are really what makes like life so amazing and interesting. And I had some people ask me on a call, like, "What else should I do when I'm there?" And I'm like, "Yeah, because once you're all the way over there, you may as well bop around." (Brad: Yeah.) And we still might, we haven't actually planned our extra days. But you can go to Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Singapore, Bali. I mean, like, they're like, wherever (Brad: Yeah.) you in Southeast Asia have so much fun. So anyways, we hope you join us. And ...Brad Crowell  To do so just go to lesleylogan.co/retreat.Lesley Logan  Thanks for remembering that. I was like, "Ah what is that?" Anyways, it is Mini week loves. (Brad and Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah.) Okay.Brad Crowell  But first, Lesley, (Lesley: Oh) we had an audience question respond to. Yeah. (Lesley: We do.) That question was, okay. This is personal. So, what finally made you, Lesley, comfortable enough to share your story about all the health challenges that you had experienced literally starting in college? And then it took, what, 10 years before you were willing to actually be open about all those challenges? (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah. This is a really great question. This is a very personal question. But ...Lesley Logan  I know, I feel like I'm more comfortable sharing the health stories rather than why I'm more comfortable sharing them.Brad Crowell  Well, it was ... it's kind of perfect timing for this episode, (Lesley: Yeah.) because of the sensitive topics you were discussing in the interview with Jessica.Lesley Logan  You know, I think it's a combination of things. But I'll tell you what, for the for the stomach stuff, I didn't share them for a long time until like, I would like really wait till I had to share them. And then it was like, "Why aren't you eating at this restaurant?" And living in LA and losing as much weight as I lost, I was very aware that people thought I had an eating disorder. And I didn't, I would rather them know that I had like, diarrhea every morning. But I think that I, eating disorder, like I just felt like that was because because I wanted them to know the truth. And I could feel the side eyes and then glances and then the interesting comments. And so I thought a) well, there's probably a lot of people who are like me, and then everybody's treating them the same way as I'm being treated. So I may as well share. And then the other thing was is that my clients were sharing things about themselves that are personal because it was affecting their practice. And I was and then they were going you know, they were acting like I didn't understand or they thought I wouldn't understand. And the truth was I did understand and I just didn't tell them that so I started to realize that my not sharing my stories was actually making people think the wrong thing about themselves, about who I was, about my priorities. And so it just became easier to share than not share and then what also happens when you share to the right people obviously I didn't like go tell a random person I told people as close to so you know if you're seeing yourself in the story like be really careful make sure we have we have a podcast interview coming up with Elle Russ about boundaries but like make sure that you tell someone you know is going to be understanding, don't go tell the person is always a Debbie Downer always sees the negative things and things go tell someone who like really does. It's usually the positive Polly. And ...Brad Crowell  I think this I think what didn't you write a series of blog posts (Lesley: Aha.) about your gut journey, your gut health journey. (Lesley: Good memory. I forgot that.) For those of you who are wondering what we're talking about, and what story you know what when she started to share, you can find them on the blog at onlinepilatesclasses.com.Lesley Logan  Yeah, I forgot that we weren't that. I ended up ...Brad Crowell  It was like four. I think four or six ... posts, I mean.Lesley Logan  Those posts came about after we finally got answers. And so that (Brad: That's ...) also, so I would so if you're trying to do the same thing, first, open up to people that you feel like you can trust with your story, and that aren't going to (Brad: Judge you.) like judge you or shove it ... all everyone feels like that. And what you heard in Jessica's podcasts is just because it's common doesn't mean it's normal. So I told some people and then because those people because I trust those people when those people when the right people to tell they actually people in their network to help me. And then I got help. And once I had answers, then I felt really comfortable sharing the story. Because I wasn't sharing from place up "I need answers". I was sharing place, "I'm on my healing journey". And I think that for me that made the most comfortable to (Brad: Yeah.) share with random people, to write a blog that anyone could read.Brad Crowell  Also, there's a little bit of hope when you feel like (Lesley: Yeah.) you have a light at the end of the tunnel. (Lesley: Yeah.) And I that's where I thinking back now, this was many years ago, but, you know, having had a chance to have that 200 page report from the doctor that we found, where he actually sat down explain to you all the things it was, even though even though there was still a multiple year path to being more healthy, and being, you know, healing, it at least there was a path that was like, "Okay, we can do this.: Whereas before, it was always (Lesley: Yeah.) like, "We don't know, we don't know." And this is just terrible.Lesley Logan  Yeah. So if you are in a situation right now, where you don't have help, hope and help, then people that you really do feel like has your best interests at heart of the people to tell, then hopefully, with their network, you can get the help and the hope and then and then that was when I felt comfortable sharing anybody and people were like, "Whoa, I had no idea." I'm like, "I know, you didn't have any idea." Like, it is a lot. So ...Brad Crowell  Look, if you are, you know, if you're applying this to your story, and you have had gut challenges that you've gone to every doctor, and every doctor has told you that there's nothing wrong with you, you're probably crazy. And you know that you're not and you know ...Lesley Logan  And I did have a doctor telling me that. I had a doctor literally say, I think you have body dysmorphia. I need to go see a psychologist.Brad Crowell  Yeah, yeah. I'm I'm pulling bits from your story, if you're, if you experience are experiencing the same things, and you've been, you know, dealing with with something for years, and we are more than happy to connect you to the doctor that Lesley found, that was able to actually dig in and have this bigger picture about it. So if that's something that is really of interest to you, and you're just like you're at the end of the road, you just don't know what to do next. Reach out to us and let us know. We're happy to (Lesley: Yeah.) make that that connection for you.Lesley Logan  Yeah. Yeah. So I hope that was helpful. I hope, you know, it's, there's, it's like, I it's like you, I always think about Tiffany Haddish. And somebody I'll have her on the show. But she shared like that she had like a, how about her doing her comedy, and she like, told a story about someday her and she and her mom, I got in a fight in the parking lot, that morning. She told the story and someone heckled it. And she realized in that moment, like, sharing things with the public where they could have judgment around it before you healed from something is not is not the way to do it. So she instead shared what was going on with her family and her joking way and her way of the way that she handles life with close people. And like that requires like, maybe you sitting down and like writing down a list of people who like are like whose opinion of you matter, who always are like they are to help you out. And then she would when she healed from it, then she make it a comedy special. (Brad: Yeah.) And so I think like, that's just kind of how I like interpreted it myself. It's like, "Okay, who can I tell around me? Who I don't feel is going to judge me? Who I don't feel is going to be like, Lesley, we're all going through this." And then and then I was able to write those blogs and now I just talk about it because I you know, it's it, I don't want anyone to think that what they're going through with their health is normal. (Brad: Yeah.) You know, it's just like Jessica said ...Brad Crowell  Well, we're gonna cover that.Lesley Logan  Yeah, just gonna know it's not normal. Brad Crowell  Okay, now let's talk about Jessica. Y'all, you may have already heard Jessica Valant because we had her on as a guest way back at the beginning of the pod. That's because Jessica and Lesley are very close friends. They've known each other for a very long time. So we're so excited to be welcome, welcoming Jessica Valant back to the Be It pod. She is a leader in the Pilates industry, with a background in Physical Therapy. She is the founder of Momentum Fest which is a huge international movement festival, usually hosted out, well, it's always been hosted out of the Denver area. (Lesley: Yeah.) It's moved around and so ...Lesley Logan  Well, people from the international community come.Brad Crowell  Yeah, people fly in from all over the world. It's really amazing. Jessica is a strong believer in self advocating, and she's a mom that is passionate about helping women find a positive outlet for tough health questions. And that's specifically because she has experienced a lot of health challenges since her early 20s. So very similar convo as what we just talked about, Lesley just talked about Oh, but Jessica has been struggling with endometriosis. So anyway, she has been through all the things including multiple pregnancies, IVF, all that stuff. And it's a very powerful interview that we that you held with her. I didn't even know some of that stuff. And I also didn't know that she was so transparent about it. And she basically said, you know, I never imagined that would be in the healthcare industry. But because of all the circumstances that I went through, I am.Lesley Logan  Well, I think like, this is if you've ever heard your mess is your message, and I would like hear that all the time from podcasts. And that's kind of how this podcast came to be. Because like, I was a perfectionist, and I was not thinking, like, I like it just so anyways, if you're so basically, she didn't imagine she'd be there. And because her, I don't want to say that her health is a mess. But like, the idea is that like her problems, basically became the thing that she talks about. (Brad: Totally.) She's the best person to talk about it because she's experienced it and she knows it. And so I had to have her back because I mentioned on her first episode, we didn't even get into the women's health. And I was like, well, that's so important ...Brad Crowell  We could change that. We could call it your pain is your program.Lesley Logan  Oh, well, then it's ours. I'm already putting a little topper on that. That's mine. Mine. All right, I just felt like LL Finding Nemo. Mine, mine. Yeah. What did you love that you said?Brad Crowell  Yeah. So I think a little bit of practical advice because I started laughing about this, because we've been paying for health insurance for ever. And we hardly take advantage of it. And this summer, we thought, well, we need to just go get an annual checkup. And I went to the annual checkup. And I don't know, I just sat there and like, you know, was like, I felt like I was like having like a shoot the shit like convo with my new general practitioner. And it was only like partway through that. I was like, "Oh, wait, I have like, I have actually a family history to share with you." And then at the end of it you came in and we met in the lobby, and you said, "Oh, did you ask them about this thing, specifically that you booked the entire appointment to ask about?" And I totally forgot, I like literally forgot. And fortunately, we were still at the office. And I was able to pull the doc aside and be like, "Hey, quick question. But it made me feel hilariously dumb that I forgot to talk to you about the thing." And when Jessica was talking about that scenario, in her in her interview with you, I started laughing because I completely forgot some of the major stuff that that was like that I wanted to talk to him about. So she had very practical advice. She said, here are three tips for getting the most out of your doctor's appointments. Okay, this is any doctor's appointment. Number one is to take notes, and just save them, write them down, write down what it is that you're feeling. And then you can then ask the doctor, hey, you can say to them, "Hey, this is normally how I feel. But I have been feeling these other things instead. Can you tell me what this means?" Right. But the big key thing there is write it down. (Lesley: Yeah.) So that when you get in front of the doctor, you're not going like, what was the thing I can't remember? Like, I mean, I think we've all probably done this with our vet appointments, where we're like, oh, you got like six things we want to vet to check in our dog and we get there. And we're like, we only remember three of them. Like what I need to call my spouse like I can't remember, there was something else.Lesley Logan  Well, how about this? You go to the grocery store, and you forgot the thing you went to the grocery store for. (Brad: Sure.) So like this is just sound (Brad: Sure.) human beings do so if you've done this, it's like, there's nothing wrong with you. It's it's totally normal. And so that's why you have a notes app on your phone. (Brad: Yeah, exactly.) It's like ... you can write it in the appointment notes so you have on your calendar, you can (Brad: Sure.) write in your appointment notes, so you don't have to it's like really easy. Come up with a system that works for you. (Brad: Yeah.) And I, I did I did laugh. I like I kind of rolled my eyes actually. Because I was like, the whole appointment was on that thing. What are you doing and talking about?Brad Crowell  I talked about everything else, like ...Lesley Logan  ... like getting referrals, like seven things and I'm like, "What are you talking about? That is not why you made this appointment."Brad Crowell  So the second point that Jessica said is, if you are really struggling with something that is affecting your stress levels in which it's very plausible, if if something's wrong with you, it could cause you to worry when you get in front of the doctor you may not actually be thinking clearly, and she suggested to take someone trusted with you to the appointment and just to sit there and be there and kind of look at it from an analytical perspective and make sure that you know, the emotional side of it isn't actually clouding the conversation or stopping you from asking the questions that you should be asking so that could be your partner. Or it could be your best friend, you know, someone who already knows these things about you that you feel comfortable sharing those things with, you're obviously going to have to have permission from the doctor because of all the HIPAA laws here in the United States, and all that kind of stuff about sharing sensitive health information, but I'm sure that's something that they can work out. (Lesley: It's completely ...) It's not uncommon, (Lesley: It's ... uncommon.) So it's like, it's like a parent child thing to, right? Obviously, there's another person in the room. And the last thing that she recommended was to be an advocate for yourself, and to come up with a list of questions for the doctor that you you are allowed to request blood tests, you don't have to sit there and like, hope that they suggest it. You can say, "Hey, I'm worried about this thing. You know, can we do a blood test or can we do a? Do I need to see a specialist or do whatever do I need to take the supplements because of this thing that I'm worried about?" Whatever it might be. Right. And the other thing is, she said, listen, doctors are, you know, you're the client of the doctor. And so doctors are busy, just like you will have clients with your, you know, whether you're teaching or your whatever it is that you're doing for work, you may have clients, you're the doctor's client, so it's okay for you to raise your hand again and be like, "Hey, don't forget about me. You said you were gonna give her give me this referral? Hey, you were gonna fax this thing over? Hey, you were gonna give me a prescription?" Whatever it is, right. You're allowed to be the squeaky wheel.Lesley Logan  I used to work at the doctor's office. I did. I don't know if you know this, but I used to work at a doctor's office. And I actually worked in records and then I moved into phone calls. And here's what was very interesting, people who called I'd have their messages and have to go find their chart. Now everything is like do... like as digital, but I had to go find their physical chart. And I have to put the phone thing on the chart. And guess what I got put back on top, I got put back on the top. And so the squeaky wheel forgot their phone calls answered. And I was like, "This system doesn't make any sense because this poor person over here has been patient is getting nothing over here. (Brad: Right.) But at any rate, like it is your health and as your body. And I am going to go into what I loved. I've already said it, but it's just not as common as me. It's normal. Don't let your doctor tell you otherwise. So in that same doctor's appointment, (Brad: Yeah.) same office would end up happening is like the person we're supposed to see. And I really did have Brad, like, look up some criteria of like, what I thought I wanted a doctor. And he did. And he totally did. And he, like she met all the criteria was also close to home. And she was so busy. He was there for over an hour and hadn't got his appointment. So the other doctor in the office just did the appointment and ...Brad Crowell  Yeah, for me. So I had not the GP we had booked, but it was in the same office as (Lesley: Yeah.) basically her business partner, I guess, or something like that. Anyway, (Lesley: And he ...) he was like, super helpful.Lesley Logan  Super helpful. So great. I haven't watched the two of them talk at one point. And I'm like, "Oh, that guy's really helpful. That's great." But the person I got, first of all, it was like, it was like a night and day difference, not only did no one read what I wrote on the frickin paperwork that I wrote down. They made me answer it again. And then when the doctor came in, she made me answer it again. And like, I wrote it down, and I answered it, and like you have it right there. Like I already feel like you're not organized. Then I was telling her the things I'm concerned about in my body considered going back to family history, my father's had skin cancer, he's had melanoma. So I said, I haven't been a dermatologist since 2018. I'd like to see a dermatologist. She checked my back, just my back and she goes, "These all look fine." And she kind of just, I felt dismissed about that. (Brad: Right.) Then I asked her a couple more questions. And she either so my insurance wouldn't cover it or I don't have to worry about that. Because it's like, you've tested this many different times. And I felt so unseen. So like, even if, even if she's completely corrected what she said, the point is, it's that you it's your body, it's your health, and you have the right to find a doctor who will help you. So I'm going to juxtapose this to the woman who helped me with my IUD removal. And I share that because that was a journey and a half with all of you. But here's the deal that woman advocated for me. She found she's like, "I think I found your IUD. Let me get someone to confirm that I'm seeing it." Got it. Her specialists in her office to look at the ultrasound goes, "Is that it? What what where is it at her uterus? What's going on here?" And then she's like, "Let me go see if I can remove this today." I didn't ask her to because I was told I couldn't have removed that day. But she went to go see if she could do it then. And she came back and said, "I'm so sorry, your insurance won't let me remove it today. But it's a really simple procedure. It's not gonna be a problem. We know where it is." And so just let's and she took me to the front desk to make the appointment. (Brad: Yeah.) And so ...Brad Crowell  That's really interesting. (Lesely: So ...) That's really amazing. (Lesley: It's amazing ...) You know what it's funny, I think I feel like like this is a second time. I've heard this story from you, obviously. And I feel like my conclusion was that the first the first GP was advocating on behalf of your wallet because she kept saying your insurance won't cover that. And the reality is, it doesn't matter. You need these tests anyway, this blood worked on anyway, the referral to the doctor anyway, whatever. Right. As so she was almost advocating for your wallet instead of your health. (Lesley: Yeah.) Whereas the second doctor, you know, she was advocating for your health first.Lesley Logan  Yeah. So luckily, I can go to her for my female stuff. And I'm going to find a different GP and I'll just keep the hunt going. But I hope that that helps all of you give yourself permission. Like, I know, it's not especially I know a lot of places healthcare is a really hard thing, whether your government covers it, or you're in the US and the shitshow that we're all in. The reality is, is that it is up to us to advocate for ourselves. And we really do only have this one body. (Brad: Yeah.) We really do. And I don't know why we don't do preventative work. But like, please, please, please, like, take care of the body that you have, move it as much as you can. And when something feels off, write it down. Like Jessica said, take notes. How long is it off? When was the last time it felt right? Because if it is something that is consistently off, dismissing it, it's just going to cause more problems.Brad Crowell  Well, I mean, just circle it back around just because it's common (Lesley: Yeah.) does not mean it's normal. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. And it might be common, you know common across the population. But it doesn't mean it's normal. Our bodies shouldn't be doing some of the things that are happening.Yeah. And before we go into the BE IT actions, I just want to say this, like I have more female health advocates coming on the show. And there's a big reason why. We have to hear this message over and over again. Because here's the deal, ladies if your health is off, my stomach was off. Jessica has people dealing with pelvic floor issues, those will be off. If you have those issues, it does absolutely affect you feeling confident enough to go to work. It affects you feeling like you can show up and be your whole self. There are things you say no to because you're worried about how, like I said no to amazing dinners, because I couldn't eat the food. And like who knows what would happen there? And so I cannot help you 'be it till you see it' if your health is keeping you from that. So anyways, okay, (Brad: Yeah.) we can talk about this action items now.All right, so finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items that you discuss with Jessica Valant. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo? Why don't you go first?Lesley Logan   My big takeaway is how can you live that best life in that middle space? I thought this is so good. Like I was like, " this is so good." The ...Brad Crowell  Oh first off what, let's explain what the middle space means.Lesley Logan  Yeah. So, day to day action. You know, like the middle, here's the thing, you have a start point. This is like this the middle, you have a start point. And you have a goal. Right? So in particular, with what Jessica was saying is like you you had the life you had then like, then you have this like situation that's going on with your health. And you have this goal at the end, like when this health thing goes away. (Brad: Yeah.) But the reality is, is that because how long test take because how long healing takes because of all because of research all that stuff. There's going to be a middle. (Brad: Yeah.) And I, how do we live our best life? How do we be it till we see it? How do we show up and do other things while we're in the middle waiting for the healing, waiting for the results, waiting for the thing that's going on to be different? And I if you I don't think this is like everything this is whether it's health, whether it's business, whether it's love, whether it's anything like how do we live our best life in that middle space, that space between where we started and where we want to be?Brad Crowell  Okay, so, so yeah. So what are those actual suggestions that Jessica had about how we live our best life in the middle?Lesley Logan  Yeah, so she mentioned like the day to day action. So like, and that's, y'all, there's a lot of days that can be very much the same. And instead of it being redundant, "Oh my gosh, I'm like living this life waiting for the next thing." It's like, what action can you take each day, it's going to give you clarity, it's going to feel really good, then it takes a plan. So you really are going to need to plan and, and that is the hardest part. But then you have to work the plan. My loves she didn't mentioned that, but this is very important. And Amy Ledin's like once you have a plan, you should have to work the plan, and you have to trust the plan. You can't just do it one day, and then the next day. Brad Crowell  Yeah, actually, this makes me think back to your doctor's like 200 page, (Lesley: Yeah.) you know, like all of the research that he did on your, like testing on your blood, and all the conclusions that he drew from it, he came to you and said, "Okay, here's your plan for the next 12 months." Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) And he literally gave you the steps.Lesley Logan  Yeah, he did. And I had to work them. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah. Know that it is your journey. I thought that was very key the your, that is your journey. And like, I think it can be easy to compare your journey to someone else's journey, but it's your journey. (Brad: Right.) And it's okay to be in this journey. And, and also one day at a time, it's a process, it will get you where you want to go. So anyways, I feel like I've just this I'm so passionate about this and I hope this is episode ... And so what did you, what are your BE IT loves?Brad Crowell  Yeah. So you asked a really great question at the very end of the interview, that that neither of you actually answered. And I wanted to bring it up, back up so that we can answer here, you asked, "How do you find a middle where you can live in that and thrive in that and enjoy it? So that you're not constantly looking at that finish line." Right. And Jessica said, "Right, like endometriosis of which there's no cure." So how do you enjoy the middle? You know, even if there there might not be an end.Lesley Logan  Well, I kind of I mean, I kind of I think that was a rhetorical question. (Brad: Oh.( (Lesley laughs) (Brad: I mean ...) Do you want more. I mean,Brad Crowell  Yeah, effectively can how can we answer that? You know, how do we how do we find contentedness in the middle? How do we enjoy the journey?Lesley Logan  I think it's going to be different for everybody. And I do think like specifically, when, when, when you're one where there is no cure, like I think about Lori Watson, right? She's got back fusions. And so she's (Brad: Right.) like, one day, there's gonna be in her lifetime, they're gonna be like, here's a new spine. (Brad: Right.) Do you know what I mean? And I share that because we just had her on OPC to do a workshop about back stuff. But um, and I think like Jessica with endometriosis, and I think some of these things, maybe, you know, your pain becomes your program. And she is like finding money to raise money for research, we actually can figure out endometriosis. (Brad: That's true. She you did there.) Yeah, I just like I know, I'm so good at circling back to things. And but I think like I said, I think it comes back to the 'be it till you see it' like who, why do you want? (Brad: Yeah.) First, like, what do you want? And also like, you are not your endometriosis, you are not whatever this pain is. I was not my stomach issues. I was not my health. Like, those are the things those are not the things I am, that's not like, here, it's not gonna be on my tombstone here lies Lesley, she had a lot of stomach problems. It's gonna talk about like, the what, I don't know, I don't even know what my tombstone, but it's not gonna say that. So, the reality is I think you need to go back to like, what are you what are you wanting out of this life that you have? (Brad: Yeah.) And where are you today? And then when you work yourself backwards, that's what creates the plan. (Brad: Yeah.) And then I really think you got to celebrate the fuck out of each day. (Brad: Yeah.) And what did go well, and so the highlight of your day is not the pain you're in.Brad Crowell  It's the joy of the journey. (Lesley: Yeah. And I'm not saying we ...) So what joy can you find (Lesley: Yeah.) in the journey? How do you you know, I feel like taking a pause, you know, like this brings back Jackie Serviss, Powering the Pause, you know, or Amy Ledin you know, her ongoing battle in and you know, cancer free and then it goes back and ...Lesley Logan  She doesn't focus on her cancer every day. I talked to her every other week. She we don't even talk about that. (Brad: Out of remission. Yeah.) Yeah. We talked about the action steps she's taken that day, what she's celebrating, what's going well, and I'm not saying that any of these people nor myself ignore the pain, you still are advocating for yourself. It's just that you know, what we what, what we manage is what grows right? What what we appreciate, appreciates. So you can each day appreciate the good things that happened that day the people that you love, the the people that open the door for you, the people that, like, supported you, and yet this other stuff can still have happened. But you can we, if you focus on all that good stuff, I think you're just gonna feel fucking better. And you're (Brad: Yeah.) going to enjoy that medal. And then you take notes like each day about, like how you're feeling about the thing that you're trying to solve a problem on. But I don't know, like ...Brad Crowell  What we appreciate, appreciates.Lesley Logan  Yeah, it really does. So I think I'm a verbal processor. I hope everyone followed that. And I hope and if you're like shouting out from your phone, like to me and Brad, what the answer is, then send it to the @be_it_pod. (Brad: Yeah.) And I'll post it, I'll talk about it in a future episode, because I would love to hear how you are trying to live and thrive in the middle without without your whatever your thing is holding (Brad: Yeah.) you back. It's there, it's part of the journey. It makes it ... Here's the deal, have you ever heard anybody inspiring a story? Say, "I had it like this amazing life, and it was so fucking great. And then I got here and I made this amazing thing. And it's so been so fucking great." And then ... no, every single person, including Oprah, her fucking self, they all came from some sort of pain. And then they used it to create the programs and the platforms, and another whatever 'p' where we want to put in here to to help others. So they and they don't focus on the pain that they came from. It's just part of the story. It's part of their middle, and it's what helps them reach other people. So anyways,Brad Crowell  Yeah. Well, that's awesome. I think that was a great answer to a rhetorical question.Lesley Logan  Well, I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan  Thank you so much for joining us today. We're so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending a DM to the @be_it_pod Instagram. And we will catch you on the next episode.Brad Crowell  Bye for now.Lesley Logan  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. Brad Crowell  It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. Lesley Logan  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. Brad Crowell  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. Brad Crowell  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Badass Wellness Coach Show
Great Listens: Lesley Logan's Be It Till You See It

The Badass Wellness Coach Show

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2022 27:38


Lesley Logan, the host of the Be It Till You See It podcast, takes us on a behind-the-scenes tour of her podcast. In this episode we talk about: Taking messy action. Because perfect is boring. How and where podcasting fits into Lesley's business model. Must-listen-to episodes of Be It Till You See (see Links below). Lesley's personal favourite podcasts. Tips and advice for starting a podcast. Tips and advice for being a great podcast guest. Full show notes and links mentioned are available at https://badasspreneurs.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/

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Label Free:

Happy August & Happy Monday! Its a new week, a new week and a new episode! My next guest is joining us from LV. She has paved her own path and is a thriving entrepreneur doing what she loves. Please welcome Lesley Logan! Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. To learn more or to connect with Lesley, head to the links below ⬇️ instagram.com/lesleyloganhttps://lesleylogan.coSupport for Label Free Podcast is brought to you by ​MANSCAPED™​, who is the best in men's below-the-waist grooming.  ​ @MANSCAPED offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. They obsess over their technology developments to provide you the best tools for your grooming experience. MANSCAPED is trusted by over 2 million men worldwide! We have an exclusive offer for my listeners - 20% off + free shipping with the code: LABELFREE

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Label Free:

Happy August & Happy Monday! Its a new week, a new week and a new episode! My next guest is joining us from LV. She has paved her own path and is a thriving entrepreneur doing what she loves. Please welcome Lesley Logan! Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. To learn more or to connect with Lesley, head to the links below ⬇️ instagram.com/lesleyloganhttps://lesleylogan.coSupport for Label Free Podcast is brought to you by ​MANSCAPED™​, who is the best in men's below-the-waist grooming.  ​ @MANSCAPED offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. They obsess over their technology developments to provide you the best tools for your grooming experience. MANSCAPED is trusted by over 2 million men worldwide! We have an exclusive offer for my listeners - 20% off + free shipping with the code: LABELFREE

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GEMS with Genesis Amaris Kemp
Ep. 631 - Creating Habits You Want with Lesley Logan

GEMS with Genesis Amaris Kemp

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2022 35:26


Are you trying to figure out what to do next? In this segment, Lesley Logan shares her background story and what led her to the work she is doing now. We get into small business coaching, forming, and maintaining habits, and the benefits of Pilates. See video here - https://youtu.be/3Lu1EPfYdc4 WHO IS LESLEY? Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats. LESLEY'S CALL TO ACTION Free Pilates workout onlinepilatesclasses.com/free If you want to know what you should be charging for your service-based business or etc. You can use this tool which applies to all industries. https://profitablepilates.com/lp/magic-number/ lesleylogan.co/podcast GENESIS'S INFO https://genesisamariskemp.net/ CALL TO ACTION Subscribe to GEMS with Genesis Amaris Kemp Channel, Hit the notifications bell so you don't miss any content, and share with family/friends. **REMEMBER - You do not have to let limitations or barriers keep you from achieving your success. Mind over Matter...It's time to shift and unleash your greatest potential. If you would like to be a SPONSOR or have any of your merchandise mentioned, please reach out via email at GEMSwithGenesisAmarisKemp@gmail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/genesis-amaris-kemp/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/genesis-amaris-kemp/support

Be It Till You See It
105. Overcoming Past Experiences to Achieve Your Dream Life

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 46:45


Stop complaining and start changing. From personal experiences and over coming extreme trauma, join this conversation with Michael Unbroken to learn how to stop living with regrets.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The impact of past experiences and the theft of identity. The process of evolving to the person you want to be Building confidence through uncomfortability is self careComplaining isn't changing anythingBe honest and understand yourself to step through the fireAgree only to the things that align The fixed vs abundance mindsetTEAM - Time, Effort, Energy, Money,How bad do you want your dream life? Episode References/Links:WebsiteIGGuest Bio:From homeless to hero, Michael Unbroken, is the Founder of Think Unbroken, best-selling author, award-winning speaker, podcast host, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.At 4 years old Michael's emotionally incestuous mother cut off his right index finger, she was a drug addict and alcoholic. At 6 his hyper-abusive step-father beat and hospitalized him.At 7 he was molested by a den mother in the Mormon Church.From 8-12 he was often homeless and in deep poverty and did what it took to survive from stealing food and only bathing at school.He got high for the first time at 12 and drunk at 13. By 15 he was expelled from school for selling drugs.At 18 he found himself deep in The Vortex and began chasing money to solve his problems.By 25 Michael was 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking himself to sleep, and attempted suicide for the second time. Then he had his mirror moment and decided to stop being a victim of trauma and to be the HERO of his own Story! Since 2016, Michael has empowered over 100,000 trauma survivors to get out of The Vortex, learn to love themselves, and become the hero of their own story. Michael has written multiple books including the best seller Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma, spoken in over 80 countries, won investments from Undercover Billionaire Grant Cardone, and is on a mission to end Generational Trauma in his lifetime.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Hey, Be It listeners, get ready. This guest, well, brutal honesty is exactly what you're gonna get. And I am freaking stoked for you. I am so grateful that Michael Unbroken said "yes" to come in on this podcast. And I really need you to hear this, I really, really do. So if you're listening to this podcast while you're doing other things, you're gonna want to save this and re listen and you're gonna listen again and again and again. And I really, truly hope that you listen to the BE IT action item at the end with a journal in hand. Or go for a walk outside without your airpods in, go outside, but your feet in the ground and like answer the question, really, really answer it, and maybe have to answer it again tomorrow. And again, the next day, and then again, the next day, and if nothing is coming down. If you're like, "Lesley, I'm stuck." I'm gonna say, "Do it again, again. Do it again, again. Do it again and again and again." And the reason is, is we like to tell ourselves a lot of stories. We get in our own way. And yeah, there's obstacles and yeah, there's tough shit. But we get in our way more than anything else. And so I'm not gonna keep going because I cannot wait for you to hear the words of Michael Unbroken. So after this message, here he is.Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Hey, Be It listeners I have an awesome guest today. I'm actually really excited. We're going to leave fully inspired and ready to take on each and every day because we have Michael Unbroken here. And I have to say I listened to him on my friend Amber Shaw's podcast - Wellness Revolution, and I was fired up. And there was also some moments was like, "ooh, I want to talk about this more" because I love the way you think. I can't wait to dive in. And I also know so many people like, "But wait, what about this? But wait, what about this?" So Michael, welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you're all about these days?Michael Unbroken 2:38  Yeah, well, thank you for being here. It's an honor. And I am me. That's who I am. And, you know, my my thing is I work with adult survivors of childhood trauma. I'm an author, speaker, coach, podcast host do a little bit here, do a little bit there. But ultimately, my mission is to end generational trauma in my lifetime, through education and information, so that another kid doesn't have a story like mine.Lesley Logan 3:05  Well, thank you for the work that you do. And also, I think there's a few questions people will have, which is just like on how did you get into this work? And what maybe even like, what are the effects? Like what do you see in kids when you see this generational trauma happening?Michael Unbroken 3:22  Yeah, well, I mean, this is my life, you know what I'm saying? So, I got into this, because I was like, on my own journey, just trying to get my shit together, you know, after about 6000 rock bottoms. And one day, someone was just like, "Hey, man, when you coach me," and I was like, "Fuck, no." I have no idea what I'm doing. I barely know what I'm doing with my own life, I can't help you. And they were persistent. And I was like, "Alright, cool. Well, it's X amount of money, let's go for it." And that was six years ago and thousands of people later. And you know, the thing about this journey, as I mean, you know, you look at the fact that from just a statistical standpoint, and I would argue this number is actually too low. 83% of adults in America have experienced the adverse childhood experience. And I would say it's probably realistically 95% if not more, if you consider non reports and homes like mine, where if you talk about it, you're gonna get fucked up worse than if you didn't. And, you know, it's one of those things where I believe that unfortunately, because we live in a society of unhealed people, and you've heard the adage, hurt people, hurt people, you get a continuation of that. And so you see it everywhere all the time. You know, people always talk about trauma is this thing about this mental health aspect and they're right, except they're missing a piece of the puzzle. Like for me growing up, like my mother cut my finger off when I was four years old, she was drug addict and alcoholic. I was homeless as a kid. I lived by myself for months at a time. I stole food to survive, didn't graduate high school, my three childhood best friends got murdered, like I can go on and on and on. But that's still not even the thing. (Lesley: Yeah) The thing is the theft of our identity was stolen from us. And so you see all these people trying to live life, but they've never had been allotted of the space to be them before. You know, because growing up, you think about this, like, what's the brain's purpose, survival? (Lesley: Yeah) You doesn't give a shit about your shirt, doesn't care about your goals? Nothing. It's like, "What do I need to take from the stimulus of this environment to differentiate safety versus danger so that I can keep my ass long alive long enough to procreate?" That's it. And so when you recognize that as an autonomic response, your brain says, "Wait, all right, when I'm a child, and I try to be me, it's unsafe. So because I need to survive, I'm going to stop being me." That becomes the real thief of (Lesley: Yeah) identity. And that leads you to this place where you're an adult, you have no idea who you are.Lesley Logan 5:56  Yeah, and I think like, thank you for sharing that. And also, so many people can be listening to this and going, "I don't know who I am." And they might even be caught up that they didn't have a childhood, as tramatic as yours. But I think you're correct. So many unhealed people parenting, there's a difference like it... it's okay, if you don't know who you are, and your childhood wasn't as tramatic. It's still you still don't know who you are. And you still have to figure that out. You know, and I think a lot of people might even hear this and even think, like, "Oh, I didn't have it that bad. So I just, it's gonna be fine. I'll just, I'll just keep doing it the way I'm doing it." But you're on this mission to make sure that everybody is living the best life that they have that everyone is being themselves, right?Michael Unbroken 6:38  Well, and look, I'll say this, like people will say that all the time. And it's funny if like, when people come into coaching with me, I'll be like, "So what's your point? Like, this isn't a competition. I don't live for you. I don't breathe for you. I don't love for you. I don't get up and go to work for you and build your life and raise your kids and have intimacy for you. I don't do that for you. So what does that have, what does my story have to do with you? Nothing." (Lesley: Yeah) You know and so the thing here is like, people have to realize like, that comparison game that we play as a cop out. Somebody had it worse than you, somebody had it worse than me, somebody's eating filet mignon on a yacht right now. What does that have to do with me? Nothing. And so the thing about this journey is, you've got to be willing to come to this place in your life, where you just simply first and foremost, just acknowledge, like, something's wrong. Like, I'm not living life into the potential that I have, then you recognize something very important that people miss out on and that's causation and correlation. See, we're the sum total of all of our experiences leading up to this moment. That means every single thing that's ever happened to us matters, it impacts as it does, whether you like it or not, you know, think about this, you're in third grade, your miss, miss class, and you're like, sitting there, coloring a house, and you make the sun, purple. She comes up to you and put her put their hand on your shoulder, she goes, "You know, Lesley, the moons and the sun are not purple." And you're like chastised in front of the class, you're embarrassed, they all hear it, they laugh, your brain goes, "Oh, wait, that was super dangerous. I don't ever want to be me again." Right? And so that's this game is like recognizing that there is a reason behind all the actions that we have, and all the behaviors of our life, and having the willingness to recognize the truth, that the only way that changes is you have to foundationally and fundamentally challenge the belief and narrative that you have of who it is that you think you are, because you actually don't know. And in that process, being willing to step through, honestly, the hell in the struggle of self discovery, because that's the only way it changes.Lesley Logan 8:46  Yeah, cuz it is the hell of the self discovery it is, it isn't the easiest thing you could do. Otherwise, everybody would have done it already. It's almost easier to not be yourself to go through and play the comparison game, even though it's painful. It's easier because you don't have to go through the depths and figure out like, when were the spots? Who are the people? Relive those experiences. So, you know, for yourself and for you, do you coach people with this? Like, what is what is that first step? Is it just recognizing that you're, you're not who you want to be?Michael Unbroken 9:19  Yeah, 100% and acknowledging it and being okay with it and giving yourself some grace and compassion, and people will hear my voice and they're like, "Oh, this guy's super intense." Yes, that is correct. But I'm also very kind. I'm very compassionate. I'm very patient. The truth is like, you have to kick your own ass at points and times in this journey. And I think we're, we're so unbelievably afraid of doing that, because everyone only tells self care. And I'm like, "Don't you realize that the greatest form of self care is in the moment of struggle by doing the thing that you know, you need to do to make your life better?" Journaling ain't gonna fix your problem. You know, yes. Do I do I subscribe that? Do I do it for myself? Of course I do. And meditation and yoga and working out and name it, I do it, I swear to you this is true. But in the true moments of growth, you must be willing to nakedly look at your life and go, "I'm not doing as well as I could, because of the choices and decisions I'm making," while simultaneously reconciling the fact that you've been set up for failure, and that the only way that you're going to overcome this is to build confidence. And the only way to actually build confidence is to consistently do incredibly, uncomfortable things.Lesley Logan 10:34  Yeah, that is, so that's the number one question I get all the time, "How do you create confidence?" And I believe it is consistency. And I want to go back, because you mentioned going to the gym, and you mentioned like the hard things and self care, we do think of it as like, "Oh, massages, journaling," you know, maybe some other things in there. But even the way you built like when we build muscle, where we're stressing the muscle or breaking it down to build it stronger. And so that, to me, is really important because going back to what do you say like, you have to like go through the hell the depths of it, figuring out who you are. All that pressure, there's good pressure, too, there's good stress, too. And I think we tend to go, "Oh, if I need to take care of myself, I have to avoid all of that." But there's a balance in there that we have to maintain.Michael Unbroken 11:20  I am such a proponent of forcing yourself into discomfort. I mean, and I practice what I preach, you know, it's from getting up early to training for marathons, and doing CrossFit to sitting in silence, like that is so fucking uncomfortable. Just sit there and discover the truth about who you are. And in that, you will build that muscle, you will create a sustainable ecosystem to survive in. But you've got to be willing to push yourself there. And, you know, I wish there was an easy solution for this that didn't involve like this moment of, like, honestly, like figuring out who you are through the pain. But but it's true because when my life, I'll paint you a picture, when my life was me, not addressing the reality of my potential. I was 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep, cheating on my girlfriend, making six figures and 50 grand in debt. (Lesley: Hmm) Life was easy. And we think about that, it's like, "Alright, cool. What do you want? Who do you want to be create yourself?" And in that it's about you have to be willing to look at the bullshit that you sell yourself as truth. (Lesley: Yeah) And that's hard. Like, it's hard because we want to avoid it because it's, it's uncomfortable. It should be because look, and I'm gonna say this, and people need to hear what I'm about to say. You're not good enough to be the person that you're capable of being yet. And the only way that you're going to get there is by making a decision of who it is that you want to be, and diving in, like, figure out who you are, and commit to it. Because on a long enough timeline, you will become that person. 11 years later, from the moment I went and looked in the mirror and asked myself, "What are you willing to do, I'm here speaking to you? (Lesley: Yeah) And I'm still not even remotely close to the person that I want it to be because I haven't learned the right skills, met the right people, went to the right courses, read the right books. And it is a progression, just like building that muscle because I know who I want to be in 37 years, and I'm not good enough to be that person yet.Lesley Logan 13:45  Right? Because it's a I think we easily think, "Okay, what do I have to do to get there and then I'm there. And then I'm there." But there isn't a there there. It sounds like it's right. It's like, this is what you want to be and you're working towards it, in 11 years, and like, look where you are. And yet there's still more to get you there. And it's not a perfectionist thing. It's a constant discovery and a challenge thing and a perfectionist thing is like, "Okay, now that I've got the outfit and now that I've got the job and now that I'm doing the journaling, and now I'm going to the gym and so now I'm there." And so I think that's you know, yet is such a powerful word that we don't often remember to put on the end of a sentence. The the question I know that listeners are having is, "Okay, so I'm wanting to work on myself. I want to actually get to know who I want to be. And that yet I've got this partner, these kids, this job." Obviously, I mean, like is it that they let it all go? Is it that they try to like see who they become and what stays, stays? Like where what happens when you're in the middle of a life that isn't the life you want? Where do you go?Michael Unbroken 14:52  When are you never in the middle of life? You're always in life, this is it, this is the game. Right? So here's what I think about two things come to mind. There's so much context. And even with your question, it's still quite vague. And there's so much context in this, right? Because the thing that you have to take into consideration is, everybody has something different going on. But the one thing we all have in common is the ability to make decisions about what we want in our life, (Lesley: Yeah) and to recognize the cold, hard truth, that at any single moment in which you are negotiating with yourself about what you want, you are going to die with regret. And that is the thing that people get trapped in, because they're like, "Oh, but I have the job. And I have the relationship. And I have the lease." Do you how many times I've heard somebody say, "I want to travel the world." And I'm like, "Cool. I've done it, too. I've lived in 12 countries, let's go." And they're like, "Oh, but I have a lease." And? Keep making excuses and keep watching your life not be different. You know, you want to change, I want to change, do you want to change? (Lesley: Yeah, yeah, yeah) I want to change. I don't want to be this me tomorrow. That's not the point of this. I want to evolve, evolve and evaluate where I'm at, and do what it takes to go to where I want to be. Jay Z has one of my favorite quotes of all time, says, "People around you saying that you changed. Why didn't do all this work to stay the same." You've got to recognize as you're in this journey. You shouldn't be changing. You shouldn't be different than where you are. And the truth is, some people are going to come with you and some aren't. There are seasons here, right? (Lesley: Yeah) So people are here for a season. Some are... Now I definitely don't want you to abandon your kids, right? No, I think that's chaotic. And then they end up getting coached by me, it's not the greatest deal. (Lesley laughs) But but what I will say is like, "Is your partner bringing value to your life? Is that career that you spent 20 years on fulfilling you were making you want to contemplate shooting yourself?" Like this real talk shit, right? And you've got to get really, really clear about what you want. And be brutally honest with yourself. The one thing that I know to be true about anyone that I've ever coached that has seen success come through these programs is massive honesty.Lesley Logan 17:07  Yeah. (Michael: massive) And honesty, I think and that's where a lot of people get stuck is that massive honesty. Because there's a story they've told themselves so much that it feels true. Yeah. So something that I know you, you do is they know a lot. Like you love boundaries, you say no, you don't do things you don't want to do. Was that easy for you to do? Or like, did you also struggle with that too, because I, I am a big fan of boundaries. I love them. It's not really hard for me. However, something I hear a lot from our listeners, it's really hard for them to say no, it's hard for them to back out of plans they've made it. They don't want to let people down. What do you got for them?Michael Unbroken 17:49  Yeah, well, I mean, look, keep complaining, not changing things. And nothing's going to be different. Like, I know, that's hard. And so you're in this position in your life where like, I'll give you a perfect example. Like if you invited me, let's say you called me like, "Hey, man, you want to go to see Travis Tritt? I'd be like, "He's country, right?" You'd like, "Yeah, he's great." I'm like, "Hell no." Why? Because think about this growing up. Well, let's create some real context because I want to give people something a foundational understanding. We learn to bend who we are for safety. Right? Going back to what we were talking about earlier, this there's causation here. One of the things that I discovered very young, and I knew I was actually cognizant of this as a kid, is that I would do whatever it took to fit in. I'd listen to the music you like, go to the classes, you wanted to go to, dress like you. I used to have kids call me out like, "You're a copycat." I'm like, "I know, because I don't know how to be me. So I'm a chameleon." And what happens is, you recognize that, eventually, that doesn't serve you. And you're in this position where you have no idea who you are. And so now you have to challenge that. And I believe that the greatest form of challenging the understanding of who you are, is by learning to say "yes and no," based on your wants, needs, interests, values, moral character, and boundaries. And so when I think about this, you know, at 26 years old, I had this really pivotal change and shift in my life. And in that the next three years, were the most incredibly difficult years of my life way more than anything else, because these were the beginning of this year as of self discovery. And so it was me doing a whole bunch of different things to figure out, "Is this who I am?" Then in that the thing that I want folks who are listening to take away is the only way you're going to discover who you are is by discovering who you are. And so that means when your gut is like, "Yo, I don't want to do that say "no'." And when you're like, "Yes, I absolutely want to showing up and going through with it," even if it's scary and uncomfortable, you know, there's something to be sad about that moment in which you chase your dreams as an adult. Like (Lesley: Yeah) our imagination is stripped so way not only through abuse, if that's the case for you, but hell just living in a society that says, "Don't chase your dreams, but watch everyone else has theirs." And you see the change makers in the world, they're the ones who are willing to step through the fire anyway. (Lesley: Yeah) Like, like, I think about that moment in which you're at the precipice of walking through the doorway, right? Think about this, you know, this person, you've probably had this experience yourself, where you like, you pack the thing that you needed, you got in the car, you drove there, you're outside of the building, you're gonna go and do that thing, whatever that thing is, it doesn't matter. And then that moment, you make a decision, that's where life happens. And so for me, I only and when people understand this, it will change your life. And this is not hubris. I'm not being crass. I literally mean this, I only do what I want to do. And I never do what I don't want to do. Now that's framed through my values, my moral character, my wants, needs, interest and boundaries. So if you hit me up, and you're like, "Hey, I heard you in Amber Shaw, you're great. And I go and check your shit out. And we are not in alignment. I'm not coming on the show." (Lesley: Yeah) Even though you want me to.Lesley Logan 21:28  Yeah, thank you for being here. (Lesley and Michael laughs)Michael Unbroken 21:32  Well, obviously, we're in alignment.Lesley Logan 21:34  We are. Well, we are. And like I, I, you know, for the cynic ...Michael Unbroken 21:40  Good. (Lesley: bills ...) I like them.Lesley Logan 21:43  Bills, how do you like, who wants to pay those? Are you pay them because they're part of the value system that you have? Like, do you know what I mean, these people who are, there's people out there who are going to be they're gonna challenge you on this? And they're like, "Yeah, but what about, you know, taking out the trash? What about these things?" Like, I'm, like, I have a hire housekeeper because I hate doing the dishes, and I'm not going to do them. That's just not how I it's not lighting my fire. It's not making me happy person. It's not making me want to coach anybody (Michael: Perfect) you know, so but what it like, you know, in case people are like, "Yeah, Lesley, it must be nice for you." What do you, what do you think?Michael Unbroken 22:13  Work harder. (Lesley: Yeah) (Michael laughs) I mean, I'm not being crass in that, like, you know, no, but seriously, there was... there's the the mundane of life, you don't get out of that. Nobody gets out of that. My mentor is a freaking billionaire. And sometimes that dude has to wash his own dishes. (Lesley laughs) I've seen him do it. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, let's not be stupid about it for real, like, you're gonna have to do shit you don't want to do. I don't want ...Lesley Logan 22:38  But you're saying you don't say 'yes' to things you don't want to do. So like, you're not saying 'yes', because "Oh, I should do that. You're not saying, you're not doing anything out of like ..."Michael Unbroken 22:46  Let me, let me frame it this way very simply. And I think you'll understand and comprehend exactly what I mean by what I just said. If at any point, I feel like I have to bend or placate myself and chameleon, who I am and the only reason why is so that I feel connected to you. I refuse to do it.Lesley Logan 23:07  Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.Michael Unbroken 23:12  But I gotta do the damn dishes. (Michael and Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 23:13  Yeah. Well, thank you. But thank you for being honest. And also thank you, thank you for the challenges because I do I love what you said earlier. And it makes sense here it's like the negotiations and and bending around is just keeping the complaints is just is making you stay where you are and not live the life you want to live. And you're saying you don't want to live your life with regret, but I also feel like you don't want anyone, too. You're like, "Let's all, we all do this."Michael Unbroken 23:41  Yeah, but look, I mean, like, honestly, in you know, this, you coach people, right? 7% of people ain't gonna do shit with any of this. (Lesley: Yeah) I can't help you. I can't. I've never saved anyone's life. I get, I get emails literally every day. Somebody's like, "You changed my life." I'm like, "No, I didn't. You did. (Lesley: Yeah) I just handed you a roadmap. You drove the car." And so you know if you want to be a cynic, and you want to complain and you want to, you want to blame the world for your problem. Look, and I will say this, "I get it. I get it. You deserve to blame the world. Play the victim, own it." I was the victim for a long time. I blamed everybody it was everybody's fault. It was your fault. My mom's fault, my my community's fault, teacher's fault, Obama's fault. It was everybody's fault but Michael's fault. Everybody's fault. And on the day that I hit rock bottom, I'm laying in bed after putting a gun in my mouth the night before because I was playing the victim. And I'm laying in bed. So 11 o'clock in the morning and 350 pounds, eating chocolate cake, smoking a joint and watching the CrossFit games. Nobody put me there but me and it was in the moment that I got my ass up and I went and I looked in the mirror, and I got truthful with myself that things changed. You want to play the victim? Own it. Okay, that's your choice. (Lesley: Yeah) That's your decision. I know it's fucking hard. I know it is. I'm, I'm a guy who is an orphan, who grew up with the most abusive parents you could ever possibly imagine. Who stole foods to survive. Who did not graduate high school, who has no formal education, who has written number one best selling books. I have one of the top podcasts in the world. I've coached hundreds of thousands of people. And I feel very good about who I am today. (Lesley: Yeah) You make a decision. Nobody feels sorry for you. I'm sorry. I'm not being an asshole. I swear to God, I'm not. Nobody cares. They're not thinking about you. And there's no Disney moment. Nobody is coming to rescue you. So if you want what's next in your life, as much as it pains me to say it, you gotta go earn every fucking inch.Lesley Logan 26:06  Yeah, that's the I mean, that's the truth. And that's an it's it is. What do they say that the truth is hard to swallow? (Michael: Yeah) (Lesley laughs) (Micahel: It is) It's because we know it's true. We know we need it. And, and you are correct. There, I've been in many a situation where I was like, "No one is coming. This is all me. I gotta figure this out. I gotta, I gotta get off this ..." And I think I think that I think the that more people need to be honest, like you are. And it's, you know, because even if, even if you're listening to this, and you're like, "Michael's not the coach, for me." That's fine. But if he's got you at least thinking, "Okay, what am I going to do next? Who am I?" And looking at yourself in the mirror, like, that is a domino effect that I'm so grateful you can have, because every single person I know is on this planet for a purpose. They really do have something to give the people around them deserve to see who they are, and have the real person in their life. And we can't, it it for every day that they're not doing that they're actually affecting all the people around them from having an experience, that could be the best experience I could have with them.Michael Unbroken 27:12  Totally. And I want to say something important that most people are not going to pick up on. You said, some people are probably saying, "Well, Michael is not the coach of me." If you're coming into this conversation with that mindset, you already lost. That kind of fixed mindset. But I'll tell you the most dangerous words I've ever used in my life. That's just how I am, the ultimate fixed mindset. If you're already pre determining the outcome of what is in front of you, because you've made that decision, before you will absorb what is there for you, you have lost. And that's one of the more difficult parts of this life is that you have to actually let your guard down for a moment and receive the information from the person on the other side. No, I'm not your coach. But that doesn't mean there's not something here that might change your life.Lesley Logan 28:01  Yeah. Yeah, I think I found myself there's been a couple times my podcasts have come up, and I've seen other guests, and I'm like, "Ah, I'm almost that person." And I'm like, "You know what, I'm gonna go listen, that person, something about it bothers me. And I'm gonna learn something about myself right now." And I have found that to be one of the most amazing challenging decisions you can make is to put yourself in a room you think isn't for you, or a person is not for you. And it's still, it's still not might be the person that you're, you're going to hire or you're going to go follow or you're going to listen to again. But every time I've learned something about me, and me, and it's made me a better person, more understanding person, a person who challenges herself more like it's pretty awesome. So I agree with that. And I think, um, I wish, I wish somehow we could teach kids when they're in kindergarten, what fixed mindset versus what an abundance mindset? You know, I feel like that is like, way more important if you don't you, sometimes you don't even catch yourself doing that fixed mindset stuff, even when I was where I wanted this house that we're in. And I literally said to my therapist, "I'm really nervous. Like, what if we don't get in." And she's like, "Well, that's not the abundance mindset you have." And I was like, "Oh, my God. How did I just do that?" So it's this one, we it's a, it's a mindset that we almost need other people to call us out on sometimes if we can't call ourselves out.Michael Unbroken 28:04  Yeah. 100%. And you've got to be paying attention too. You know, I'll give you a great example, I was with my mentor the other day, and we were talking about money. And I was telling him how much money I was spending on something. He goes, "Man, that ain't your problem. You don't, you don't have a five figure problem. You got a million dollar problem, and you need to go figure out how to get it." Because I was like, I've limited myself financially for so long. Like, even though I've done very well, I made my first 100,000 at 20 years old, like I know how to make money, but he was like, "Look, dude, the reality is like, you need to understand the abundance of money being your friend." And I was like, "Damn, son, that was good" because I booked a hotel. It started because I, the whole conversation started because I was like, "Hey, I booked this hotel." And I go, "Yeah, it was pretty cheap." And he goes, "That's your first problem." And I was like, "Yep." And I cancelled the hotel immediately. And I got a nice hotel, right? Because it's like, even changing that mindset of that is like, you have a difference between $7 isn't gonna make or break you (Lesley laughs) that you come from this, like, poverty mindset, and you need someone there for you. (Lesley: Yeah) That's why we have coaches, we have mentors, because I need somebody to like kill that was a dumb fucking decision that you're doing based off of the experiences of your past. Thus, the same thing I talk about is the same thing I go and learn from people, causation and correlation. Why am I cheap? Because growing up, I was poor, and we were homeless, and I had to steal food to survive. And so I'm freaked out about money. And then I'm like, "Wait a second. Last year, I spent six figures on my own personal development." And now I'm thinking like, "How do I spend seven?"Lesley Logan 30:56  Yeah, I so understand the money mindset. Because my husband and I grew up poor in different ways. His parents actually are accountants. So they're very good with money, and very frugal with it. And they have lots of things because they did work. I was I grew up elder millennial. You screen the phone calls, because it was the bill collectors and you would wait and see if it was your friend or if his grandma, "Oh, nope, it's discover." And so I, to this day, still have a problem answering the phone because I'm like, it must, "I owe no one money." And I'm like, "It could be a bill collector though." Like I it's just it's a thing and it's awareness I have but (Michael: Totally) something that I started in 2013 when I was homeless again. And some of my friends were like, "You were homeless?" I'm like, "If you didn't know like, where are you? I was couchsurfing. I probably slept on your couch." Um, but but I learned like, never again, am I gonna get the cheap apartment, I'm gonna get the apartment I want. Never again, am I going to get the cheap car and make the car I want. What if that means I have to ride the bus until I get that car. That's what we're doing. (Michael: Totally) And today, I still don't have a car because I want a different car. I want a G Wagon. And until I can have that G Wagon, I'm going to ride my bicycle or borrow my dad's car because I want a G Wagon in my driveway. And that's what I'm saving up for. And I'm going to have it and it's going to be there. And it's not because material things make me feel good. It's because I know that I when I show up in a space that it feels like it's my surroundings, I show up as fully me, you know, so ...Michael Unbroken 32:30  Yeah. Let's talk about that for a second because (Lesley: Yeah) I think it's really important, right? Because like growing up, I was the same my mom would freak out if you answered the phone at my house, because of bill collectors, she would be like, "Don't you ever answer the phone." And now I look at my life and I think to myself, like those things that happen to us, like they matter. Like and yes, we can laugh about it. Like I'm gonna write a dark comedy about my childhood one day. (Lesley laughs) But you know, you can laugh at it. But the truth about it is those things impact you, and I'm in full agreement with you. Do not settle. Do not settle the life that you want to have. Now, look, if you you aren't making fucking $20,000 a year, you're not going to G Wagon. Like go figure your shit out, (Lesley laughs) right? But but also put yourself in a position to be able to do that education, information, be in the right rooms, have a mentor, get a coach and commit, like commit, put the money on the line. Like that's the thing like I think about this all the time. If you want your life to change, you've got to adapt this acronym I created called TEAM - Time, Effort, Energy, Money, You're gonna have to invest one, but you're probably going to have to invest all for, like, pick the direction of the thing that you want in your life and commit to it. And do not negotiate with yourself until you get it. Like I remember this a couple years ago, I was like, "I want Grant Cardone to invest in one of my businesses." Grant Cardone invested in one of my businesses. Like, "I want, I want Tom Bilyeu to be my mentor." Tom Bilyeu is my mentor. "I want to write a best selling book." I've written a best selling book. "I want to have a top podcast." I have a top podcast. "I want to have the greatest minds on planet earth come and speak with me." They do it. Why? Because as I went through the hell of building the life that I want to have, that's what this looks like, and that committing to those dreams, you get, we get so scared, right? Because we go, "Oh man, if I get the house, and it's $800 a month, well then I'll stop eating Starbucks." But that that doesn't solve your problem. The thing that solves your problem is putting yourself in a position to be more successful than you've ever been by committing harder than you ever have. And eliminating all things that are not moving you towards your goals. That means (Lesley: Yeah) no fucking Netflix. That means no brunch with the girls on Sunday. That means getting your ass up at 4:30 in the morning because you got kids who get up at six and working on building your life until the moment that you go to bed every single night. You don't want it bad enough. Like that's the problem, people are hearing this and they're like, "I want this life." Show me your calendar. Show me your calendar. And I'll tell you if you want this life or not.Lesley Logan 35:15  Yeah, that's you or that's that's it. It's you don't want it bad enough. I think I had on a woman who Hazel Ortega shucks at miracle goals. And what was really cool about that was like challenge that she made. She's like, "Don't just create goals. I want miracle goals. I want goals that are so God sized." So you could your brain couldn't logically figure out how to get them. So you can't talk yourself out of them. Because it's a miracle, then then you can believe in miracles, and then things will happen for you. But so many people make their goals, something that's attainable. And then, because it's like, hmm it makes their life this much better. They don't actually change their life to have it because it's not big enough. You have to, I really do believe that you have to make them big enough that you want it so badly that you show up at 4:30 in the morning. I did. I remember when I had my full time job that paid the bills with the health insurance and all the things and I had the side hustle and I had a private clients. And I slept three hours a night. And I know a lot of people thought I was crazy. A lot of people thought something's wrong with her. And now I get to sleep more. But it's still work every day, you still have to show up every day, you still have to change not just yourself, but how you think about things, how you how your day has made you change your location, you know, like there's things people have to do. And those are hard decisions to make. But if you want it bad enough, you will.Michael Unbroken 36:28  Yeah. And look, and I'll say this too, like I'm not about that hustle culture life. I'm not about it. I'm about doing what I want. That's it. And if I don't want to, like I tell people all the time, you know, I've built this business. I've done so much to help people. If I wake up tomorrow, I don't want to do this anymore. It's all gone. I promise you it is. It's gone. Why? Because life is about doing what you want. Have fun, enjoy. I love doing this. I love it. I love being on stages. I love writing books. I just finished writing my third book just today, like do what you want, do what makes you happy. But I promise you, I have to get up at 6am to write the damn thing because I'm busy the rest of the day. And like that's the thing about this, like, you know, there, I think there's something that like recognizing the truth that you have to be obsessed with the life that you want to create. And if the people around, you're like, "Oh, you're a workaholic," I promise you, you're around the wrong people. Because they don't get it. They don't get it. They're not ready for the truth. They don't want the reality of the truth that you are gonna go and be fucking great. And you deserve it. But it ain't gonna fall into your lap. And the secret ain't real. You got to put in work.Lesley Logan 37:35  Yeah. And I like when you say that you're not about the hustle. It's very different. You're not doing this for the hustle sake of it or for the busyness of it or for the things it's, it's these are the things you want to do. And this is how you have to structure the day to get those things that you want to do done.Michael Unbroken 37:51  Yeah. And I'll tell you this, do I want to be wealthy? Yep. 100%. One of my biggest goals is to make this company a $25 million a year company. I'm nowhere close, yet. Do I want to own a hel... helicopter? Uh huh. Yep, sure do, can't afford one, yet. Will... Right? Do I want to speak on the biggest stages in the world? Fuck yeah. Like one of my biggest goals is speak in front of 50,000 people, the biggest stage I've ever spoken is 10,000. I'm only a fifth of the way there. I ain't there yet because (Lesley: Yeah) I'm not good enough yet. I haven't learned the skills yet to put me in that position. And all the people around me over the years who have called me a workaholic, who have said I'm crazy, who say I work too hard. Those people aren't even my friends anymore. And you know why? It's not because I don't love them or cherish them because many of them I do. But I can't be aligned with people who want to bring down my dreams, because I'm not going to sacrifice my mission for anybody. And on a long enough timeline, like the truth about it is like you'll you'll look at your life. And you'll go on you'll see those people. I looked up a friend the other day on Facebook. I haven't seen him in like 10 years. We were best friends growing up. Do you know what he was doing? The same shit we were doing 20 years ago. And I want to be clear about something. If you're happy, if you're content, if you love your life, if you're not complaining, you already won. Don't change anything. If your content make them 30 grand a year, fucking awesome. That is great. But if you lay in bed at night, and you're like, "I want to go and build this thing." And you weren't willing to do it. I can promise you, on your deathbed. Right before that last gasp that like right before it's over. The word 'regret' is going to come into your head. And this will have been a life unlived.Lesley Logan 39:46  Oh, Michael, you are amazing. I could talk to you or listen to you for hours. Thank goodness you have a podcast. Okay, Michael, where do you hang out? What's your favorite social? Where's your podcast at? So all the places where can they find you?Michael Unbroken 40:02  I don't have a favorite social but I'm everywhere at Michael Unbroken. Literally everywhere and the podcast is Think Unbroken Podcast or thinkunbrokenpodcast.com or just search 'Think Unbroken', it's not that hard to find. Literally, everything I teach is there for free. The books are on there for free. The programs are on there for free. Everything is for free all the time, 24/7 because my mission is to end generational trauma in my lifetime.Lesley Logan 40:27  Yeah, well, we'll put all the links in the show notes below. Okay, I asked everyone this, you've given us plenty of action items, but just in case someone needs it wrapped up in a bow, bold, executable, intrinsic or target steps people can take to be it till they see it. And for you, I know it's that you just do it every day. But like what we got.Michael Unbroken 40:47  Well first, and I just want to say thanks for having me because you are allowing me to share this space with you. You're a part of my mission. And that means the world to me. Look. The truth about it is this, the life that you want to have it's it's fucking right here. It's right here. It's like literally, you can reach out and touch it. But nobody's gonna hand it to you. And if you ask yourself this question, and the answer is anything less than no excuses, just results, you will never, ever have the life that you want to have. So you need to ask yourself, "What am I willing to do to have the life that I want to have?"Lesley Logan 41:32  That's a great question. That's great. Ouf. Well, I love it. I love it. I love that question. I almost, almost want to have it where I can see it every day. Because I think it's a good one to ask yourself each day. Michael, thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your mission and sharing your journey and sharing your truth. It's beyond and I'm really grateful, really, really grateful. So you all how are you going to use this in your life? What are you going to do? We want to know. So screenshot this, tag @michaelunbroken, tag the @be_it_pod and actually let us know because I know that, I know for myself when I see those things. It just shows how much action you're taking. And for those of us who are trying to change the world, it lets us know that's working, or doing is helping and so let us know. Share this episode with anyone that you know who needs it, who needs what Michael is saying, who needs his resources, and until next time, Be It Till You See it.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 43:05  It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan 43:16  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.Brad Crowell 43:20  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 43:28  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.Brad Crowell 43:41  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
104. Workplace Wellness, Boundaries, and Owning Mental Health

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2022 30:11


How was your lunch today? Did you take time to get outside or did you work right through it? Clare and LL recap a powerful conversation around workplace wellness and well being shaming. Listen to determine your game plan for balancing your workday and setting boundaries in your daily life. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Check in to LL hobbies The comeback to well being shaming Personal recognization of mental health in the workplace Starting the workplace wellness conversation Setting the correct boundaries, even outside workWhat envy really tells you Episode References/Links:Book: Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work: Here's Why and How to Do it Really Well.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:01  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where, we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.All right, everyone. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See interview recap where my co host is my bestie, Clare Solly. She's back and we are going to dig into a real talk convo I had with Melissa Doman in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to interview, go back, listen to it. Oh my gosh, it is so fired up. So fun. Like it's probably the most fired up, you'll hear anyone when they're talking about mental health, awareness and well being shaming. So then you can go back, listen to that one, come back and join us. You can listen to Clare and I riff on it and then go back. But Clare Solly, my slingshot friend, if you're on the YouTube channel, you saw the necklace she's wearing. She is one it was our guests on episode 19. She's done a couple of recaps with us. And that's because Brad is currently in Cambodia while we're recording this. So, Clare, thanks for being here.Clare Solly 1:34  Hi, thanks for having me back. I'm excited. I'm remote from New York this time. I was remote from North Carolina the last year two times.Lesley Logan 1:42  I know. It's we're just like catching you wherever. And it's so fun. And also I'm just really I'm excited that you got to be, you get to listen to this. So y'all, this is the first recap we're doing right after the interview (Clare: Right after.) So normally it gets produced there's a whole thing. We listened to it a couple more times, we talk about it, because we wanted to get Melissa on and to get this episode to your ears during Mental Health Awareness Month while you're thinking about it. I should be thinking about it all the time. But while everyone's actually thinking about it right now, we had to do a little fun like, this is a trial. So we'll hear how it goes. You let us know how we're doing on this recap. So anyways, thanks for being here. Real quick, everyone, June 5th is the start of the Control Your Balance Challenge. So this is a free challenge where I am actually helping people who own a reformer or other Pilates equipment, do a more advanced exercise and that doesn't mean that you have to have it down by the end of the week. We don't do perfect, we do progress. But if you are scared to do a control balance off on the reformer or control balance on the mat because it is weird. It's a somersault into an arabesque and somersaulting back on I hear ya, not a dancer. Those words made no sense to me when I was learning it, but I'm here to help break it down. My OPC teachers are joining us so you can go to onlinepilatesclasses.com to sign up for this challenge. Again, it's free and it's one week long, and you're gonna get lots of different classes, tips and tools to do some advanced scary work. So anyways, that's next week and alright, Clare, we normally have an audience question, but something tells me you are resurfacing that?Clare Solly 3:19  Yes, since I am a guest hostess. I have a question for you. You and I've been chatting a bunch lately. I know that you're doing the author's way, no, The Artist's Way. (Lesley: The Artist's Way) So you and it's funny every time you talk about this, it makes me giggle because I think you're a person that always does all the things. But I want to, I want to check in on your hobbies you were testing out new hobbies. So the question is, do you have a new favorite hobby yet? And what is it or do you have a hobby that you will never do or that you just experienced recently?Lesley Logan 3:55  That's a good question. So I have to say I tested out this hobby of laying by the pool and I loved that. (Lesley and Clare laughs) No, I was at a cabana and people were bringing me all the things and so there is something really luxurious about that but I have to say I don't know if you'd call it a hobby more as a habit but I want to make sure that once a month I am laying poolside somewhere if that means I have to get a hotel pass in my local area, I will. I just went to a casino yesterday and they did not need my hotel room key and I won't say which hotel it was because I don't want to blow their cover. But I know and I'm going to be using that pool (Lesley laughs) so that's not my hobby. I will say I enjoyed the macro may that was really fun. I was supposed ... do a loom thing, someone was gonna let me borrow their loom and I have not been able to get my hands on that yet but I really do like the idea of it. I think I'm where I'm currently in my life, I'm having fun dabbling, but I'm not ready to commit anything yet because I'm also enjoying doing nothing. And something about hobbies is it's easy for me to busy myself with them. And I'm really trying to get a mental health. I'm really, really trying to make sure that I'm actually spending time with myself and not just like being busy all the time. So currently I do like the lira. It's painful. It's fun, makes me feel really cool. I do like little macro may but I'm not ready to go and like go to the craft shop and invest in anything or buy a group pass yet.Clare Solly 5:29  I mean, my mom's favorite hobby is napping. So I think between your pool side and her napping, (Lesley: Yeah) I am a fan. Lesley Logan 5:37  Yeah, you're like I'm in for both. I'm in for both. So anyways, I would love to hear what people are doing for their hobbies because I think it's it's fun to see what people call a hobby and like how it can be beneficial. And also like, knitting can also be a great way to decompress, too. So I just, yeah, I right now I'm just trying to make sure that I'm not overworking myself, even with my hobbies.Clare Solly 5:59  And if you have suggestions for Lesley, tag her at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. (Lesley: Yeah) ... doing your hobbies. (Lesley: Yeah) Um,Lesley Logan 6:06  What's your favorite hobby, though? Is it writing? (Clare: Mine?) Well, you were, you write for work. That's not talking.Clare Solly 6:11  I mean, hmm. I don't know. I mean, I feel like like, and this is why I giggle whenever you say it, because I feel like anything that we start out trying as a hobby ends up being we find a way to make money out of it. (Clare laughs) So I would say like writing is my hobby, but I feel like it's like it's a side profession at the moment. (Lesley: Yeah) Um, I feel you know, what my favorite hobbies got to be reading. Like, I've always been an avid voracious reader. Especially like, I'm a self help junkie. So I'll go read a self help book, just like to see if I'm in alignment and whatever. (Lesley: Yeah) Or like, I love a good romance, like goofy (Lesley: Yeah) like, you know, My Best Friend's Wedding. Like those kinds of rom-commie, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, Bridgerton I'll read all that stuff. So,Lesley Logan 7:00  Yeah, I do love, I love to read. You know, you just made me remember that one thing that I've, again, I'll end up making money out of it. But one thing that I want to have the time for, and I'm trying to build our schedule around so it's not really a hobby as much as it's like a goal to do something is, I really want to be a tequila sommelier and there is tequila school in Mexico. And I found a school that has like, one month, six week, eight week, three months, programs. You better believe I've researched like how do I buy a rental house there? How many dogs can I have at it? How can Brad and I live in Mexico while I do Visionary Officer learns about tequila. (Lesley laughs)Clare Solly 7:38  Oh my gosh. I can see the future of Pilates retreats. Take Pilates by day and takes tequila by night. Lesley Logan 7:45  The tequila and Pilates. Yeah. Feela tequila. That's what we call it. (Lesley and Clare laughs)Clare Solly 7:51  Alright, sign up below.Lesley Logan 7:54  Anyways, let's talk about Melissa Doman.Clare Solly 7:56  Melissa. I would love to talk about Melissa Doman. This was so exciting me hear this in real time, like I was jumping up and down in the background. While I was taking notes on YouTube, we're talking. Melissa Doman is an Organizational Psychologist, a Former Clinical Medical Health Therapist and Author of a book you need to write down and get in the show notes. Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work (Here's Why And How To Do It Really Well). Melissa works with companies and across industries around the globe, including small companies you might not have heard of like Microsoft, Estée Lauder, Salesforce, Siemens. She's been featured featured in magazines and articles on, in Vogue and on the BBC and CNBC, about the great resignation, mental health at work conversations about the Ukraine crisis and more. This woman has lived all around the world and it was just, it's an amazing conversation. So definitely go listen to it again ...Lesley Logan 8:56  Yeah. I agree, I really am so grateful. She said yes. Because I think that I mean, it's so easy to find people who like, "Yeah, let's talk about mental health." And she's like, fired up. She's like, "We all gonna be talking about mental health. Here's mine." I mean, she like literally is leavi... living, speaking breathing version of her book, I believe.Clare Solly 9:14  Yeah, well, that was nice. Because I didn't feel shamed when she was talking about I felt, I ... energized like (Lesley: Yeah) these are the things I'm going to go be proactive about. Anyway, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. What was your favorite thing that she mentioned?Lesley Logan 9:29  Okay, so you have to write this down. I even said it in the in the episode, I said wri... everyone go to the show notes and write this down. By the way on the lesleylogan.co site, we have all the transcripts so you can actually just like copy and paste things that you love that people say by the way, hint, hint, text it to yourself, text it to a friend. So one thing I loved that she said was well being sha... on well being shaming, doing things so let's say somebody basically it's like if somebody like says, "Oh, must be nice, you get to leave work earlier. Must be nice, you could go on a run on your lunch break." That's that's well being shaming. And so she says your response should be, "Doing things to manage my well being practices a healthy adult thing to do. Can you help me understand why you don't agree?" And I just love this because I'm sure you're like, "Oh my God, I have to stand up for myself. Oh my God, do this." But, you know, if they're like that, it's because someone else made, showed them that and like embodied that and implify and showed that and they saw people getting rewarded for that. And you can actually be the person that says, "This is actually, this is actually not a must be nice thing. This is actually how I show up and be your coworker. Can you tell me why that's a problem?" And they might a solid healthy person might go, "Oh, wow, that's really cool." And you know, some people won't change, but I just really, I really liked that she brought that up. And I love that she gave us a comeback for those well being shamers.Clare Solly 10:52  Yeah, well, um, this this goes with what I was saying to I mean, she mentioned that she's a recovering people pleaser, which I'm... That was one of the things I was like, "Yes, me, me." So yeah, I totally understand that. And like, it's, there's ways to reframe where you're not apologizing, you're not. Because anytime you apologize, that's you trying to people, please. And if you reframe it, and put it out there, like, "This is who I am," then, then you're not trying to make others pleased by anything. And that sort of goes along with that the thing that I took from it. (Lesley: Yeah. What's your thing?) Mine was, you people need to understand or there's an understanding of that people have different levels of needs and ways they work. And also, part of that, too, is people don't know what you need unless you tell them. So (Lesley: Yeah) ... this is part of the conversation about like, the email after work, and I'm one of those people like I panic, when I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, my boss sent me an email (because I work in corporate America). My boss sent me an email, I need to respond to it right now. And it's like, no, she was just sending it right then because it was on her mind right then." (Lesley: Right) And I, it wasn't until I had the conversation with her like three months in that I I didn't understand that she just needed to get it out of her brain. She didn't need me to respond. She just needed to let go of it.Lesley Logan 12:12  Yeah, yeah. And that's, and like of course, she would assume that because she's emailing you. But that's something like I, you know, I try to do with our team is like, I mean, we have people live all over the world. So we're going to talk on Slack, Monday and email all day long. So the assumption is, you don't need to respond. Unless I say it's an emergency, I can't find this thing. But then I'll probably just call you if it's an actual emergency, I'm just gonna pick up the phone and be like, "I'm so sorry, I am calling you after work hours. I can't find this thing." I've had to do that twice before. And I felt like a jerk. But I was just like, "I'm really sorry, this is I just need two seconds of emergency. I can't find this thing." And most people don't mind that because it's respectful of their time. But I also you know, I've had people who've responded to me after hours when I've said something. And I was like, "Oh, I didn't, I didn't realize you worked this late. Is everything, okay?" (Clare: Oh, that's a good one.) Because I don't want the team to be a bunch of workhorses. I want them, you know, I want them to get their job done. And they should be able to get it done. And the amount of hours we've we've allotted for it. And if they can't, I want them to let me know. So that we can figure that out because some things can be automated that they were doing, right? But it does require the the you telling your boss, "Hey, it stresses me out when you email me at 8pm." And then your boss going, "Oh, I'm just, this I was just thinking about it. I didn't actually expect you're..." Like, you know, we make assumptions. And so it's like we have to have, we're human beings have to have a conversation. And I love that Melissa talked about that so many times in and it's like, be clear, be kind and like tell people what you need and why why you need it. Yeah.Clare Solly 13:51  Yeah. And again, like, I know, you mentioned in the pod in the recording, that, you know, you're a small business owner, you have several people that listen to this podcast that are small business owners. I think a good piece of advice for anybody who owns their own business, is to make sure you leave the door open for questions to be asked. You know, for anybody that works for you, so that way if it you know if you get to a point, because again, unless the door is opened, like I didn't know that I was, you know, having to ask questions. (Lesley: Right) But then also people like me who work four bosses, like ask the questions like tell people what you need, and ask what the expectation is.Well, for example, one of our team members had came to me and she said, "I'm can... I'm actually over my hours every single week." and I was like, "Oh, how long have you been this way?" She's like, "four months" and I was like, "Okay. In the future, if it goes on longer than a week to two weeks, can you just like pipe in and say, 'hello, I'm heading over my hours. I'm being overworked.' We don't know. All we know as you're getting your work done. You know, (Clare: Yeah) so I hate that that happened. I feel terribly about it, let's fix it. And also I ca... so this doesn't happen the future, here's how it needs to be so that we can support you." And and that's, you know, it's it basically it's like, unless someone's a total dickhead, both people have to have a conversation about where the line got crossed, and who allowed who to cross it, who crossed it, and how do we not cross it again. (Lesley laughs)Yeah. Well and she talked about having the moment of like, blowing up or exploding, and like, you have to do the prep work before that. And it's, you know, conversations like this are scary conversations until you have them. And then after you've had them like, again, it's it's anything else. It's it's practice. (Lesley: Yeah) So just have the conversation. A lot of times some people will respect you more on the other side for having the conversation.Lesley Logan 15:51  Yeah. And also, if it doesn't go the way you want, well, now, you know, and you're not wasting any more time. Like going, "Oh, my God, they don't listen to me. They don't do this." It's like, yep, they don't listen to me. And I now have to decide if this is a place that I want to work at. Or, you know, where do I want to take my expertise? And what team do I want to be part of, you know, so yeah.Clare Solly 16:15  And perfect. Speaking of taking your expertise, places, should we get in this BE IT action items? (Lesley: Yes, I love these.) All right, so let's talk about what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation? I took away and I loved the way she phrased this. And she said it a couple of times, the crucial conversational literacy, everyone needs to have a modicum of knowledge about mental health in the workplace. I (Lesley: Yeah) just thought that was just a like, "Go out and make sure you understand who you are, and what rights you have in your workplace to create a safe and a good working environment for you mentally. "Lesley Logan 17:02  Right. Like, I love that because it's like, we can't see those people who work for someone, you can't expect your bosses to be enlightened around to this. And like, literally look out for every moment of your mental health and well being while they're running a business. And bosses, you can't expect your team to come at you with all their mental health stuff and actually speak up you have like everybody has to be educated for what they're about what educated in their roles and where they need to go when, when they need some mental health and well being support, or some education or some needs. And so I think it's like, it really does require and she said this in the thing, like we have to come together as a team, and we have to actually go, "What does that look like? Why do we care about that?"Clare Solly 17:46  Yeah, and, and, you know, unless you're starting the conversation, and actually this is a this can start at water coolers, like this can start at the kitchen, this can start as you're waiting to join a Zoom meeting, like or as you're waiting for everybody to join a Zoom meeting, just start chatting about mental health in the workplace. Like, the more we bring this to the forefront. Even if you feel like you're not affected at this moment, the more we talk about it, the more we make other people comfortable about the conversation and empower them to go have the conversation if they need to.Lesley Logan 18:19  Yeah, well and also like this moment is like if you're not being impacted in this moment with your mental health, this is the best time to have those conversations. (Clare and Lesley laughs) You can then actually have it and you're not like what she said when she had her fuzzy brain like, "We're trying to stay alive and this part is like waaa. (Clare: Yeah) I'm overwhelmed. No one is listening to me." (Clare: Yeah) So I yeah, I think it's like the what I really love is like we, she in no way are the leaders in the company is to blame for mental health in the company but also in no way are the employees scot free and like we all have to take part in owning our mental health and well being, being clear on what we need and asking for it. And understanding that they're going to have ask and requests where they are and somewhere in the middle we all have to meet and if we can't, then you may have to like ask yourself, what else or options do I have that might not be the right place for you? And that's okay, too.Clare Solly 19:17  Yeah, yeah. So just start the conversation. Lesley, what was your BE IT action item?Lesley Logan 19:22  So she first of all what I love is just like take action. You have to take action. Like and hello, action brings clarity, it's the antidote to fear. So especially if you're scared to talk about mental health at work, take one of these actions and and I just want, I just like the simplest thing is like read her book and I know it's for mental health in the workplace. And I know a lot of you might work for yourself or you might work in a small team, but I feel like within a family it's really important to be like I feel to me families are another business like they all, they have bills, there needs to be a lot of income we have goals and vacation these things, right. So like to talk about you can implement these things. And I think it's really important because sometimes someone in the family is gonna be going through something. And it's going to require the whole family to be like, "Okay, what do you need right now to help you get through this busy time?" Like, that's really, you know, like when we're really crazy in a launch, we actually have to tell everyone in our Vegas family, "Hey, here's the deal, we are in a crazy time right now. That means no extra dogs can be here. That means we're having dinner delivered. If you want to come over for dinner, you have to leave after dinner." Like ...Clare Solly 20:27  You even message me sometimes you're like, "Hey, girl, I'm not gonna be able to talk this next week, because (Lesley: Yeah) I got a launch going on." (Clare laughs)Lesley Logan 20:34  Yeah, yeah. And also like learning to say that so that I don't get pissed off when people are bothering me. I'm like, well, they don't know. They don't know. And so read this book, everyone, it's that's in the show notes. I'm really, really am excited about what what she is doing. And I really think that the more responsibility we can take for ourselves in our mental health, the easier it is for us to ask for that at work, to ask for that with our partner, to ask for that from ourselves. And then and then we can really change the world. You know, in this way, I just, I really believe in it. So but it does mean that we all have to take responsibility for taking care of ourselves and understanding what our mental health and well being needs are and stop shaming people. Like if you say, please, please, please remove this. If you say it "must be nice for her", even in your head about something that they're doing. Let that be a flashlight to something that you wish you were doing for yourself. People who have boundaries are not rude. They're not bitches. They are people who have had I need these boundaries in my life. I get people who say I asked people, they said I was really cold. Because, you know, they came to visit and I only was available for like, a window of time. And I'm like, "Okay, if I had made myself available to you the whole time, I you would have hated me because I have to, there are things I have to do. So that I can show up and be this person. I'm not this person every like, like, I'm not like a light switch." (Lesley laughs) You know? So I think we have to we all ... with this wasn't a BE IT action item, but I'm making it one. Watch the well being shaming you have towards yourself, your friends, your co workers, because you use it as a flashlight of what you're actually needing in your life and, and actually see them as like, "Oh, wow, look at that person taking care of themselves." Like what if we saw that in people instead of like judging it?Clare Solly 22:22  Yeah, that's great. That's so great. (Lesley: Yeah) In, in a, in acting school, we always, we weren't supposed to like pick apart people we were, we were supposed to say, "I wish you would do da da da," instead. So it turns into a positive. (Lesley: Oh) But I like yours better. I like flashlight for yourself better. (Lesley: flashlight)Lesley Logan 22:41  Yeah, I like well, you know, I like I think it was my therapist, I was really, I got upset at myself for how I handled something. And she goes, "The problem is not how you handled it. The problem is the judgment you have toward yourself." (Clare: Yeah) Whenever you are like this see as a flashlight of where you still have to do the work. And I was like, "There's more work." (Lesley laughs) (Clare: Yeah ...) There's more work to be done. But I think you know, it's like, whenever you're envious of somebody, there's a flashlight of something you're really wanting for yourself. And maybe you didn't know that. So like, "Oh, thank you so and so for letting me know, I really want to be going for a run on my lunch break. Or I want time on my lunch break for myself." So Clare, I'm so excited. You got to be part of this. (Clare: Yehey) I'm gonna make... and Brad needs to listen to this obvious because we have a company but you you are on the other side of this. So I like have a company, you work for companies and I have to do a little shout out. Because you the first time we had you on the podcast, you were manifesting a job and you got a job offer with like more money than like whatever you (Clare: Yeah) asked for. Right? And then so that was like in your whole episode like manifesting money and then ... two weeks ago you were like manifesting a new job and we were doing manifesting stuff and not only did you get a new job, you got a really frickin awesome job. And you got paid more money than you asked for. (Lesley laughs)Clare Solly 24:05  Yeah, I was I was told by the recruiter. No, no, they don't pay over this amount. And they're paying me, they offered me more than the amount that they told me the more than I was asking for more than they told me that they wouldn't. So it was ...Lesley Logan 24:21  Yeah. (Clare: manifesting) So... Manifest. So Clare Solly, you can find her on Instagram at @youwontbesolly and so you can find her, she does manifestation stuff. She's a writer, she's got books, she teaches you how to write. So make sure you check all those things out but also like she is a prime example. To me, I just heard this and I feel like you're the walking example of that. Like don't take a 'no' from a person who can't give you a 'yes'. Right? Because like you could have listened that recruiter and you could have been like, "Okay, I'm just gonna get this and that's fine." But instead you like went into it like, "I'm still I'm open to receiving all that is there and this is what I want. And this is like in my dream world. And I like and here and here's more. And here's all of this and here's we're gonna guarantee you." And like (Lesley and Clare laughs) it exists out there. So y'all don't take a 'no' from someone who can't give you a 'yes', manifest (Clare: Yeah) what you want, and it'll be ... You had clarity and a vision around it. And that's why it comes to you.Clare Solly 25:18  Yeah, exactly. And it sometimes shows up in different ways. Like, it's not a straightforward way, sometimes like mine was very straightforward. But sometimes it comes at you at different directions. So manifest what you want, and it'll show up.Lesley Logan 25:30  Oh, I love you so much. Thanks for being my slingshot, buddy.Clare Solly 25:34  I love you. Thank you for being my slingshot, friend. I'm so glad we do things like this together.Lesley Logan 25:39  I know and also everyone let us know how you enjoyed this recap where we went off the fly straight off of ... Amanda and Brad will let us know how we did. (Lesley and Clare laughs) We're just here being it till we see it and you should do the same. So y'all what were your favorite takeaways? What are your BE IT action items? Are you going to read a Melissa's book? Let us know by screenshotting this. Tag the @be_it_pod, tag @youwontbesolly, tag Melissa Doman, the @wanderingmel. And let us know how the this impacted you and what you're going to do about mental health and well being in your life. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 26:49  It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan 27:00  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.Brad Crowell 27:04  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 27:12  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.Brad Crowell 27:25  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Talking to Cool People w/ Jason Frazell
Lesley Logan - Chief Vision Officer and Founder of OnlinePilatesCourses.com

Talking to Cool People w/ Jason Frazell

Play Episode Play 60 sec Highlight Listen Later Jan 26, 2022 49:52 Transcription Available


Lesley and Jason talk about when it gets scary, it's time to lean in, why the truly curious questions unlock amazing conversations and how taking care of yourself first is the way to show up more for others."Perfect is boring."Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she's hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats.Instagram onlinepilatesclasses.com lesleylogan.co/podcastEnjoying the podcast? Please tell your friends, give us a shoutout and a follow on social media, and take a moment to leave us a review at https://lovethepodcast.com/talkingtocoolpeople.Find the show at all of the cool spots below.WebsiteFacebookInstagramIf something from this or any episode has sparked your interest and you'd like to connect about it, please email us at podcast@jasonfrazell.com. We love hearing from our listeners!If you are interested in being a guest on the show, please visit jasonfrazell.com/podcast.

Be It Till You See It
You have the permission to be something greater (ft. Thor Challgren) - Ep67

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2022 40:36


How does giving yourself permission effect your identity? Whether its finding your mini purpose (which may be hosting a elegant dinner party) or discovering the unforeseen questions holding you back from your purpose; Thor Challgren and Lesley debunk the identity crisis that can happen when what you have formed your life around changes. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Accepting the challenges life changesExploring self-examining questions to find hidden beliefsShort term identities & mini purposes  The blind spots self-judgment creates How to get comfortable saying/doing something differentShort term identity The Artist Way Morning Pages & The High 5 Habit Giving yourself permission to be something you aren't good at yet Episode References/Links:Your Turn to Fly WebsiteIG @thorchallgrenThe High Five Habit bookThe Artist Way Morning Pages BookGuest Bio:Thor Challgren is a former Hollywood writer, recovering Girl Scout troop leader and high school cheer booster president. He wasn't exactly a helicopter parent, but he knew how to fly. When his daughter (cruelly!) left for college, he became a certified life coach, and now works with empty nester parents to help them discover passion and purpose in the next season of life.  OPC Flashcards:OPC Flashcards are on AmazonOPC Flashcards are on our site  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.  ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Social MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:01  Hello, Be It listener. What's up? Oh my gosh, like, I can't even believe how fast time is flying and how old this little podcast is. And it's not even little anymore. It's growing because of you. And I'm just so grateful that you're here. Welcome back. We have an interview for you today. We have Thor Challgren. And I mean, I love this person. He's so sweet and special. And I can't wait for you to listen to it because what he says is stuff that is in all of our minds. Like, I think that we're all having conversations with ourselves that no one knows anything about. And his, his way of looking at it, I know is going to shift your perspective and shift the conversation you have. And it's really special. He is definitely the embodiment of being it till you see it. And also, I can't wait for you to hear a lot of his talk about permission. And, I say that because I think a lot of you believe that everyone can be it till they see it. And I think you do about you and then you go to do it. And then and then you and then you don't give yourself that permission. And so anyways, there's a special thing at the end for you to learn more about permission, have some and some extra slips of that for yourself but take some notes. This is a fun conversation. And for my parents out there, I really think you're gonna love this person so much and what he's working on for empty nesters and everyone is really fun. So please make sure you follow him on Instagram at Thor Challgren and check out his link that he's so kindly giving to everyone it's at the end. So you'll have to get all the way there. But I it's gonna go by you're gonna love it. I think you're going to be like, high fiving yourself along the way and going, "Yes, I feel that same way too." And if that's how you are with these podcasts, if you feel like you're having a conversation with the guest or myself, you know, you can let us know. (Lesley laughs) Because it's so fun for people like Thor and myself, (he also the podcast) to hear what comes up for you and how you use these tips. Use the talk use, even if it just makes you go, "Oh yeah, that's me" and helps you not feel like because you're not alone, right? We're all feeling the same way. So we love it because it really does let us know like how what we're doing is helping you and that's why we do this. We ... we trust me I don't like the sound of my voice. So I definitely do this for you. Okay, so I'm going to stop yammering on because I want you to hear a Thor's amazingness after this brief message.Hey, Be It pod listener, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thanks for watching our podcast here on our YouTube channel. I'm just so grateful for you, I have a big favor, and I'm, I mean like, let me just say, "It's not easy for me to ask for help," but I need your help. I'm on a mission, I really want to change as many lives and help people be it till they see it all over the world, and I need your help. We have been so grateful. The amount of downloads our podcast has had in just a short period of time is, it's amazing. That's insane. However, we also need more written reviews. So, and specifically on Apple. So even if you are watching here on YouTube, or you listen on Spotify, or you listen on Google Play, Apple podcast is where everyone looks to see which podcasts they should send people on for interviews. And so we need lots of reviews to be there like a hundred written reviews. So, big huge favor if you could use the link below, go write a review, rate us, give us all the stars you love and let me know. Screenshot it, send it to me on a @be_it_pod. I just want to thank you for the bottom of my heart. We are truly truly can't do this podcast without you. And I'm just so grateful that these words hit your ears. And if you wouldn't mind writing us that review that would be amazing. And, I will be so forever grateful. Thank you and now here's a podcast you wanted to listen to.Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Alright, Be It Till You See it peeps. I'm really excited. We have Thor Challgren here and we were connected. I'm not even sure. We'll find out in a second. I don't know if he reached out to me. Or if somebody connected us we're in a mastermind group together. And we got on a call and there's so much alignment. He doesn't believe in perfection. He totally believes in ... what's permission and he also likes to write with a pen, which I want to do. I want to be someone who can write with a pen, I am left handed, and I can't read my own handwriting. (Lesley laughs) But I am really excited, because you guys are going to listen, you're gonna hear so many amazing tips and steps and also for my parents in the listener room, I want you to totally hear his story because I think he kind of stepped into what he's doing now because of taking a kid off to college. So I'm gonna, I'm not gonna spoil alert this anymore. I'm gonna let Thor tell it all. Thor, thank you for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are, where you're from and what you're rocking right now?Thor Challgren 5:37  Hey, yeah, thank you, Lesley, it's great to be with you in your audience today. My name is Thor Challgren. I am in the Southern California area. I've lived here most of my life, raised my daughter in this area. And now she's off and doing amazing stuff in the world. And it was that experience a couple of years ago, that led me to sort of move in this direction, because I saw what I experienced as a stay at home parent, essentially. And I knew what I felt. And I thought I can't be the only person that has a hard time dealing with this. And so that kind of led me on the path I'm on now.Lesley Logan 6:17  Yeah, so um, so I want to dive into taking your daughter off to college. But what, what did like so you take her off to college, and she's like, "Bye. I'm out living my best life." And you're like, "What do I do now?" So, what what do you do now? (Lesley laughs)Thor Challgren 6:34  Well, you know, it's funny, because like, the first thing that that I had no idea this was going to happen this way. Which it's sounds silly to say it, but we were expecting that we're gonna have a whole other day with her. And I remember we were sitting in the student union one afternoon, and I had gone off to the bathroom, I come back and she's like, "Well, I'm going to say goodbye now." And I'm like, "Wait, what? No, like, we're going to go to dinner tonight. And we're going to have all this time together." And so it's just like, the sadness, like, almost right away like that letting go. And so that was kind of my first lesson was, you may, when these things happen, you can't expect when they're going to happen. And so you just have to accept that they will and then start to move on. And my, my moving on process wasn't very elegant at first, like, I was super, like, for the next hour I was like the lowest I've ever been in my life. Like it just so much just sadness and and you know, I mean, it sounds silly to say but feeling of loss, like (Lesley: Yeah) because like that was my identity of being that parent who was like, I was the soccer coach, I started her girl scout troop. I was the cheer booster president. So like, all the activities and things she did. I was there to support her. So when she went off, I'm like, "Well, who am I now?"Lesley Logan 7:56  Yeah, like, what's your purpo... like, and without purpose? That's like ... (Thor: Yeah) Right. (Thor: And that's ...) Well, I just say, like they have discovered, right? Like, it's not happiness, we're all searching for its purpose. And, and when you that loss, that's a big loss. That's like, if anyone's listening, it's like the same if you don't have kids, because I mean, I don't but like, it's like losing your job almost. Because like, that was what gave you clarity around, structure around your day. And like, "Okay, this is a goal I'm working on because of that." Is that right? Am I on the right track?Thor Challgren 8:28  Oh, 100% yeah, I mean, it's all that identity too. Like, think about like the anytime that you've ever had a big change in your life, like maybe you worked in a job, and then you get laid off or you change the job, then the next time you meet someone, and they go, "Oh, like, what do you do?" Instinctively, you want to say that thing you used to be and then you catch yourself and you go, "Wait, I'm not that anymore." (Lesley: Yeah) And then it starts this loop of like, "Well, then who am I?" (Lesley: Yeah.) So I think that idea of identity is so important that like you have to be congruent about who you are, before you can go out into the world and let that ... that's why I think like the whole, be it before you see it idea so important, because you have to be aware of who am I being? And that's and that starts sometimes with who was I? And now who am I?Lesley Logan 9:22  Yeah, so what did you do? So you're that very, you're in a very sad hour, and then like the next step, so how did you figure out who you could be until that happened? Because, I mean, that's like starting from scratch. And I think a lot of people have, like, maybe our listeners are there, but have been there and it's like, okay, we'll all just, you're gonna be there again, like we're all gonna have these shifts and changes and these role changes that are planned or unexpected. And so what did you do next?Thor Challgren 9:50  Well, in a word, celebrate.(Lesley: gasps) And, I say that because I'm kidding, but in a sense, not. So we're on this bus going back to this is in Washington, DC. And my wife can see like, I'm so down and she's like, "You know what, let's, let's go to it, there was this bar in Dupont Circle that I'd seen. It was like an Irish pub or something like that." And she said, "You were interested in that place. Let's go there, have a drink and we'll start to change our energy." And so, Lesley, that moment was so key, because it was like, sitting down, having a drink, not that you have to drink, but (Lesley: right) changing your state (Lesley: Yeah) from where you were to where you are now, and then starting to think about what our life could be like and starting that dreaming. And I think that was the key was, you know, I mean, there, yeah, there would be hard days to come. But starting that energy of celebrating, and I think, you know, you said shift, it is a shift of your energy. Because if my energy is in that, like, depressed, sad, woe is me, this is the best thing I'll ever do in my life energy. I'm not going to be able to be available to connect with any of the great things that could be out there for me. So that that first step for us was celebrating, it was going, "Well, what could we do now?" Like, ... start to think about all the great things you could have.Lesley Logan 11:21  100% and I, when you said, celebrate, y'all, I swear, I don't script these things before they happen. It's not impossible. I don't even have the time. But I study so much about human behavior. And like, how do we create routines and change our mindset and celebration literally kicks off dopamine, so it changes your state. And so because it's you don't need the drink, you can actually just dance around, you can actually like, you know, high five, someone, you can actually look at yourself in the mirror, "I'm freaking awesome." But celebrating shifts that energy, and it puts you in a state that could see what was possible because you moved into a happier space. And so and I you mentioned earlier, like it wasn't elegant. And I, I just don't think it ever is (Lesley laughs) I don't think I don't think anything's elegant. Even those beautiful weddings that people think, "Oh my God, look how beautiful and elegant it is." There's a lot of hot mess happening in the back of, in the back, you're not seeing. (Lesley laughs)Thor Challgren 12:17  Yeah, that's 100% true. And I think anyone who'd seen me, like even that night, even after we celebrated and this is the point, I think, like give yourself grace that it's not going to be perfect. That night, I go back and I'm sitting in the bed in our hotel room, and I just start crying. I can't stop (Lesley: Yeah) like, and I'm not a sad person, by any means. But I think you give yourself that grace and let the feelings come out. But know that you are starting the process of moving on to that energy of what's next for you. Lesley Logan 12:50  Yeah. So when you got home, and you're like, "I can't be the only person who's feeling this way." How did you turn that into something that you do with purpose? Like, what did that end up looking like for you?Thor Challgren 13:03  Yeah, I mean, I would say the first step is you have to be okay with maybe I can do something even better than that. And that is a huge, for me, that was a big struggle, because most parents, you know, it's drummed into us in society that like, "Oh, the best thing you'll ever do is be a parent." And maybe that's true but what is does that say if that is true? Like, if you go, you know, I've got 30 years of my life left. And if I truly believe that the best thing I ever did, is in the past, what kind of way to live life is that. So for me it I started to think about permission, I had to give myself permission first to do something greater than just be her father.Lesley Logan 13:58  Yeah. So, I gush like, I, because I work with mostly I work with women. But there's a whole, there's a whole ... like, this is my everything. And it's like, "Okay, I don't ever want to take your everything away from your but having been a kid who left college at 18 and never went back home. (Lesley laughs) Can I just suggest that we have another thing that we do?" And so but I love that word permission. And so how did you come up with that word and for yourself? And like how, what does it let you do since you've been giving yourself that? Like, is it one time and then it's over? Or do you give yourself permission more often than that?Thor Challgren 14:38  It's all the time. Lesley, it's all the time. Meaning, you know, you we have you know, you talked about the way the brain works in our subconscious. We have all sorts of things that are swirling around in there that are reasons why we can or can't do something and we may not even be aware of them until we consciously choose to explore them. And so for me, it's a constant process of, you know, my my routine is many times in the morning, I'll be journaling, and I'll explore with certain questions, what I think about something, and sometimes it's nothing, you know, I don't get anything, but then there's other times where like, an answer will come to me that will be like, "Oh, wow, like, where did that come from?" Like, you know, I might ask a question, like, "Who doesn't think I can do this?" And I'll come up with like, "Well, my wife doesn't, or my, my late mother wouldn't." And then you explore that, and you start to go, "Oh, like, why is that?" And then in that process, you start to uncover it, those sort of hidden beliefs. And when you bring them out into the open, now you're letting yourself have permission to let them go. And that changes your energy.Lesley Logan 16:00  That is interesting. So do you find when people, when you did that. Like, did you find that was a story you're telling yourself that those people didn't think you could? Or is it was it real? Well, it was it made just to be personal on the person?Thor Challgren 16:14  You know, I think it's, it's a little of both, I would find that, you know, I would look back and say, "Well, who doesn't think I could do this?" And one of the questions I would ask is, if I don't succeed at this, the reason will be and then fill in the blank. And, and so I'd asked myself and you and you got to be really honest with yourself and go, "If I don't succeed at this, what will be the reason?" And I go like, alright, well, in the past, I tried these things like I had 20 years ago, I had an audio product, where I went out and interviewed people and created little cassette tapes, and that was my business, like, I did the whole thing. And this is before, you know, podcasts or the internet or anything (Lesley: Oh my God, you were podcasting before podcasting.) I know. And, and yet, it didn't succeed, because I was trying to do everything myself. And it I mean, if I'd given it more time, but that's an example for me of something where I didn't succeed. And so by exploring that, and my feelings that I still have about that, I could more easily let go of those. So that I'm giving myself permission that yes, I know, that happened in the past. And I know that I have unresolved things and I don't need to explore it, like in a therapy situation, like, I don't need to know why I just need to know it exists. And now I'm choosing consciously to let go of that energy.Lesley Logan 17:38  I really like that because I do think that so many people stop themselves from doing something new, because of something in the past, but they don't actually explore what that thing was. And like, look at it, like a 30,000 foot view, like non personal view, like more as a fact, more as like an experiment, you know, and I know that I definitely was like that, and only until we're owning my own business and realizing that, you know, if you look at it as like an experiment, and not like it's personal, it makes it really easy for you to go, "Okay, I just need to dial the knob and turn the volume up here and turn the volume down here, as opposed to no one liked it. It's because no one likes me. And I'm terrible." (Lesley laughs) Right?Thor Challgren 18:21  Yeah. And I think what you said is super critical that you be able to step back and just look at yourself and not have judgment about yourself. And that's the hardest thing for all of us because we all we all want to be great. We want to do great things. And so that passion drives us, but it can also be our undoing in the sense that it creates blind spots. So to be able to step outside of yourself and go, "Well, why does Thor think that?" I know that silly to say it, but like, think of yourself as stepping outside of yourself and ask those questions and then go and not you know, what else you said I loved is the idea of, not giving something any more meaning than it deserves, because we say something mean something. But does it really? Like it only is the meaning we give it so if we choose not to like if I look back at that situation in the past and go, you know, I'm not gonna I'm not going to give it the meaning of "Thor's a failure because that didn't happen." You know, I'm just gonna be like, "Okay, it happened and and what can I learn from it? And how can I move on?"Lesley Logan 19:30  Right? Like, it's just another thing. You said something that I liked where you talked about, you said "what Thor feels like, bah, bah, bah. Why is that?" So many people have advice for someone else in their same situation, but not for themselves. And I think by doing what you just did, which is like, saying it out loud as if it's not you. It's just someone else. It really does allow you to take all the information you already know like everyone listening you all have the answer is inside of you, you already know how to be it till you see it, you're telling yourself you don't know. You're telling yourself you can't because of X, Y and Z. But if you if you step outside yourself and you look at it as someone else's life, I bet you'd have all the advices tell them what to do. So, I'm wondering like, as, as you gone through this, and you've been giving yourself this permission, and what has, like, what is it allowed you to do? Because how many how long has she been in college? She graduating this year, is she second year?Thor Challgren 20:29  She's in her, she's in her final year.Lesley Logan 20:30  Oh my gosh. Okay. So in these four years of giving yourself (Thor: Yup) permission to create something greater. What have you been able to play with? What have you been creating?Thor Challgren 20:42  One of the things that I did was I started exploring that idea of identity. And I mentioned before that, you know, people would say, I met people, and they'd say, well, you know, "Hey, what do you do?" And I, I would stop myself, because I couldn't say, "I'm a stay at home parent anymore." (Thor laughs) So then I'm like, "What do I do?" And so I started thinking about, like, what we say about ourselves. And what that led me to was, I think, till you know, what your greater purpose is, it's okay to have, like a mini purpose, a short term purpose, where you go, and this is like, what I'm doing right now, is I decided for these next couple of months, I'm going to host a series of dinner parties, where I'm going to learn how to cook some amazing dish, you know, like, go to like a Julia Child's cookbook or something like that. And, I'm going to invite over some people, and we're going to have a an elegant dinner party so that I would be able to the way that I think of it is now I could say if I met someone, I could say, "Well, I'm I'm a gourmet cook," because that was something that, like we always said about my mom, my family was "She was an amazing cook." And so if you ever looked at her, you'd say, "Oh, she's a gourmet cook." So, I think that is I've had like a series of little things like that, where I go, it's a short term identity. And what's key for me is, it doesn't have to be the rest of my life identity. And that's where I think a lot of us get stuck, is we go, you know, maybe if we're leaving a job, or we're leaving a relationship or in my case, you know, empty nest situation, we go, "Well, I've got to figure out the whole rest of my life right now." Like, if I'm gonna have one purpose for the rest of my life, and I got to figure it out now. And so we put so much pressure on ourselves, that it becomes debilitating, and you don't even know where to start. So, I think like (Lesley: I'm obsessed with this) ... start with two months.Lesley Logan 22:41  Yeah, I'm obsessed with this because I also ... we would never, right? I mean, like, as, um, I don't know, if I was one of the last groups where like, like, "You have to know what you want to do." And I think kids today their like, "major in whatever, because it's probably not going to be around when you're adults and working." But like, we would never tell a kid anymore like, "Whatever you major in, that's it, you better pick the best major because you could never change," we would never do that. But for whatever reason, at some point, we get older, we're like, "Welp, I gotta figure out my next thing," because it's gonna be the only thing and there's so much pressure. And I love that that mini purpose allows you to explore, it allows you to take messy action, because it's okay if it's wrong, because it's so many. It's a to use a two months, I think that's, I think that's fun. I like that it's more than 30 days, because I think you need to, I think something has to percolate a little longer. So you can, like, see what kind of comes up in different seasons. But that's fun. I mean, what a way to be it till you see, you could just, I'm just gonna be it for two months, I'm just gonna (Lesley laughs)Thor Challgren 23:38  And you take the pressure off, because and what I I sort of the rules that I set for myself were that it had to be fun. So it can't be like, "I'm gonna clean out my garage in the next two months, or I'm gonna paint the house," it's got to be something fun, or something that energizes you. One of the ones that I did that was just sort of fun for me was I remembered like growing up, we had like Legos. And back in those days, like Legos were just, you didn't have a kit with whatever you build. It was just all sorts of blocks. (Lesley: Yeah.) So, I thought it would be fun to like get a Lego kit and build a Lego kit and just have that be something that I do over you know, in my spare time over a couple months.Lesley Logan 24:21  I mean, they're those kits now like 1000 pieces like that could take you (Thor: It's insane), you could literally go, "Oh, well, I create Legos, kit sets." It's like, (Thor: Yeah) I like that you you're soft with identity because I do think that people need to have something to practice to say and so it is because it's not like you say, "I'm a retired stay at home parent " It's like what does that mean? (Lesley and Thor laughs) You know, but I but I hear that all the time because sometimes I hear in a different way. Like, I don't want to just be, enter the job that they have. And, and I unders... I mean like I I remember, you know, I was a, only a Pilates instructor for a long time, I worked for myself but also worked for another company. So, I'd say, "Oh, I'm a Pilates instructor" which is also very interesting people like, "What is that?" Like, "Oh, I've heard about it, but what do you what do you do?" And now, you know, that doesn't even encompass everything that I do. Like I couldn't. So, I also I can't list off everything that I do, because that's weird. So, I had to like kind of make up. Like, what it is that I say, and it should take some time and like, what would you say to someone who's like, maybe they don't, maybe they're on their way to changing what they are? But maybe they can't say that yet or they don't feel comfortable? And how did you get comfortable saying something different? Did you practice it? Did you put yourself in situations to say it, but was it?Thor Challgren 25:43  Yeah, I think it's, it's a great question. And I think the answer is that it evolves. And I'm constantly finding new tools that help me, the first was examining in the moment, like, again, stepping outside of Thor, and going, "Oh, you know, when that when you answer that question, you didn't feel good about the answer did you? Or you felt self conscious about the answer?" And then to explore that, like, "Why is that?" And and start to ask those questions that maybe aren't totally comfortable. But the answers are, where you're going to grow. Because they're going to help you understand where can you push against the things where you're uncomfortable? Um ...Lesley Logan 26:21  Do you, do you write that down that conversation or do you have it in your head? Because we have I know that there's perfectionist listening here. For recovering perfectionist. Gonna want to know how you do this? Do you write it down? Do you have a conversation with yourself?Thor Challgren 26:35  You know what, it's, I'll attribute this to Julia Cameron, who wrote the, Morning ...Lesley Logan 26:42  Oh, Artist's Way Morning Pages.Thor Challgren 26:43  Artist's Way. Yeah, (Lesley: Well ...) The Morning Pages. That is the best thing. And I'll say the reason why and this is the part that is super critical that she'll say, because I remember I struggled with this in the beginning, she'll be like, "You have to write three pages and they have to be by hand." And I'm like, "No, I want to type it. I'm faster, I'll get more out." And so but that was never as helpful to me. So, what I do in the page... The Morning Pages is, I'm sitting there going, "Alright, I've got to fill up this page. What I'm going to say now? I don't know what I'm going to say now. Oh, look, I'm stumbling, I have no idea." And I might do that for like half a page where I'm literally just writing gibberish. And then once I've let go of any resistance, guess what happens? The universe, the quantum field, higher power, starts to flow through me. And then the stuff like it happened on Friday where something, I was just the middle of it. I was I had sort of given up on something and not given up in a bad way. But I let go of the resistance of the attachment of I must do it. Suddenly, in the very last paragraph of the third page, the answer came to me. And I wasn't even looking for it. It was just like this thought just popped in my head and was there and then I explored it. And I mean I was so grateful for it but I didn't go into it expecting it. I wasn't like, "I'm going to you know, write here for that purpose." So, I think that's that idea of just writing and being okay with whatever comes out is so helpful.Lesley Logan 28:19  Yeah, I we're big fans of morning pages around here. Love them and it's so funny. When my my therapist was like, you know, "We really want you to journal" and I was like, "Okay, yup, I have a journal, don't worry." And then then a week later, I'm like, "So okay, I actually don't know how you journal like, what do you do? I need to know the rules like what am I writing about? Do I answer and question? What am I starting with?" And she's like, "I think you just need to do morning pages." And I'm like, "Oh, I've heard of the book." She's like, "Don't even read it. Here's you're gonna do, your gonna write three pages on legal paper. You're not going to reread them. That's the rule that I want you to follow." And just and I was like, okay, so I wrote like, "Oh, I'm really angry in the morning. I didn't know I was angry the morning. Well, I'm not ... I thought I was a morning person." Right? Talk about identity. But what I'm a morning person I should be happy in the morning? And it's like, "Who said? Who said you can't just be up in the morning and not be happy. And like you go through it." But when I did it the first week, this... and the things that came to me around what I was afraid of, around when I was frustrated by there things that I couldn't even articulate. And like as I mentioned in this episode already, but my listeners know I can't read my handwriting. You don't have to so you could just be in the dark just like writing and it's kind of crazy what comes up so I do I do love that. I think that's a great idea. I love that's what you do. Okay, what are you Thor excited about right now? What are you working on? What are you cooking up?Thor Challgren 29:42  I am super excited and this isn't even my stuff. But it's it's made a huge difference to me. Mel Robbins has a new book out now called "The High 5 Habit." And I just started I picked it up because I read her book years ago "The 5 Second Rule." This in "The High 5 Habit" one of the things she has you do is in the morning, you go and look at yourself in the mirror, and you give yourself in the mirror a high five. (Lesley: love it) It's insane. Like it's super simple, but that idea of being comfortable with that is so valuable. And and, you know, what she says is we don't look at ourselves. Like the first thing in the morning, when you see yourself in the mirror, most of us, you know, will be like, "Oh, you know, my hair, I don't have enough of it," or whatever you'd like, look at your face and go, "I don't like it." So your first thoughts are, "I don't like myself." So she's like, "You got to change that energy from the start." So, (Lesley: Oh...) I'm obsessed with giving myself a high five in the mirror without breaking the mirror.Lesley Logan 30:46  Right. And she's on. So BJ Fogg from Tiny Habits, who is the person who taught the Instagramers how habits are made, but also the founders. And then also like James Clear from Atomic Habits study with him. So, I got to study with him. It's really cool. And he has this like Maui habit, which is like, as soon as your feet hit the ground, you say, "Today's game is amazing day and you go victory, or I'm amazing, or you celebrate in some way." That's how you create the habit. Right? Once you got the habit in place, you don't have to celebrate anymore. But what she's created is like you look in the mirror and you tell yourself something awesome. And when you high five yourself, there's that dopamine kick. And it literally that's something you can create a habit. And it probably took you probably three days to like make that a thing. (Thor: Yeah) Yeah. (Thor: Yeah) Right? Because the dopamine was there in your brains, like, "I want to high five myself more." And what I love about that is like, I think you're right. I think too often we see ourselves with so much judgment, and then we don't fo, we don't help ourselves enough. Well, we're willing to put ourselves out there to help others so much. And like you're specially, stay home parents are like, let me give, give, give, give, and then eventually you, the person's out of the nest and you you've been practicing giving so much you haven't taken for you. So I think that's really I love that that's what you're doing right now for you. (Lesley laughs) Okay, so you mentioned earlier, I want to go a little bit over permission, because I think this word is so great. And I think it's really key for being it till you see it because you have to actually give yourself permission to be something you're not good at yet. So can you talk a little bit about permission and like what that looks like for you?Thor Challgren 32:18  Yeah, it's for me, it's a series of questions that I explore. And sometimes I do it in morning pages, sometimes I'm just aware of the question. It may also be when something comes up, I'll go apply this question. And so it's, you start by asking yourself the question, is it okay, and I went, you know, go back to the idea of, "Is it okay for me to do something greater than being a father?" And that was like a really important moment because if I, if the answer to that was "No, it's not," then everything I try, like, I can go out and be it but I may not see it, because what will happen is I'll self sabotage myself from it happening. So those questions allow me to explore whether or not I truly believe it's okay, whether I'm truly able to give myself permission. You know, why I came up with this idea, because that idea when we're in elementary school, and we want to leave the classroom, we have to ask the teacher for a permission slip, right? (Lesley: Yeah) Like, the the leaving the classroom is freedom and so you have to ask someone else for permission. I think that's essentially what you're doing now is you're asking yourself, "Is it okay if I be this thing or do this thing or have this thing?" And and then be willing to uncover that the places where maybe you don't yet believe it.Lesley Logan 33:46  Oh, that's so good. Oh, my gosh. Okay, okay Thor, where can everyone follow you, find you, stalk you and get permission? Could you ... can they how do they can they get these permission slips from you because you have some good ones.Thor Challgren 33:59  Absolutely, I would be delighted to share them with your audience, I will put them on a website page. And it's my website, which is yourturntofly.com forward slash Lesley. So your listeners go there, easy to find, download those and, and I be curious, reach out to me on Instagram. I'm at @thorchallgren and let me know how they go for you and how you implement them. Because I'm always interested in how, you know, like the people that I work with, how are they using those tools? And what insights are they discovering, because I just I think that's the part that's amazing about people is when they start to really apply themselves that the things that they find are amazing.Lesley Logan 34:39  I agree. Like, I'm obsessed. We, I love when everyone shares their takeaways from the podcast or like, even from my classes, like I'll be reading posts, and I'm like, "Wow, you got all that from that. That's amazing. That's so cool." That's like definitely like I like to be shocked and awed. And then I also like when I'm like, "Yes, that's exactly what I wanted." So it is fun, y'all I mean, we say it all the time, but screenshot this and tag Thor and @be_it_pod and let us know what those permission slips are able to give you so that we can also just celebrate you. Okay, so we asked everyone, best advice, best tips for being it till you see it. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps that people can take right now. So what do you have for us?Thor Challgren 35:21  I'm going to go with executable, and it's something everybody has. And it's these two things, (Lesley: Okay) a pad and a pen. And here's why I say this. So many times when we think about what we want to be, or do, we create in our minds, "Oh, it's got to be this really complicated thing." Like, "I'll do that later when I've got to open up Word, or I got to have that document or I got to talk to that person." And so we delay ourselves from taking action. I found ever since I started doing this, and it sounds stupid, but like, I would just if I knew I had to do something, I would just start it on a piece of paper, and the starting of it, the executing of it begins that process. And now suddenly, that thing that may be in your mind was like, it's this big thing that you go, "Oh, it's gonna...I have to really have time to sit down and do that." No, you just start it, execute it. And you'll find that that's gonna start to change your energy around it. And then I've done that, where I'll be in the middle of something that I thought was only going to be like, a minute. And half an hour later, I'm like, "Oh, my God, this is amazing." Like, and so I a pen and a piece of paper and just execute.Lesley Logan 36:26  I love that because there that is taking action and action is the antidote to fear. It's also where it can get clarity. And so sometimes you're like, "Oh, my God, it's gonna take forever." But if you like you said, just start writing it down. You might realize, oh, you know, this, I can actually this is 20 minutes later, like, "Okay, I have the framework. I was putting this like" that, I'm someone who does that, like, "Ah, it's gonna take so much time." And there's just one program that I had been kept putting off, kept putting off and my coach was like, "So look, you are out of excuses on putting this up."And I'm like, "I know, but it's just gonna take so much time." And then I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna give myself five minutes to write it out." In five minutes, I had the framework, I had the purpose. I knew the problem, it solved. And I was like, and I was like, "I had a general idea of how much was going to cost," and I was like, "Oh, well, we're ready to go actually." (Lesley laughs) So, I love that I think that's such a great one of the things I love so much is that I don't think I've ever heard the same Be It action item from (Lesley laughs) of our guests, and their..., and I love when they're free. So thank you so much, Thor for just sharing who you are so vulnerably. And also, I think, the authenticity around it. I don't I can't imagine there's anyone who's like, "No, I don't get that." Like even if you don't have kids, like you know what it's like to have an identity shift. You know what it's like to have a loss or to have a sense of purposelessness. And, I'm excited for your daughter to graduate. I feel (Thor: Thank you) like I feel like you're you're graduating too (Lesley laughs) and, and everyone check out @thorchallgren on Instagram. Definitely hit up the permission slip link, we'll put it in the show notes below. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 38:35  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 38:43  Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.Brad Crowell 38:49  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 38:57  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.Brad Crowell 39:09  And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
What's the story you're telling yourself? (ft. Brad Crowell) - Ep62

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2021 28:57


From the road, LL and Brad discuss the power in the narrative we create for ourselves and the importance of making “the thing” time-bound.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Creating a business doing what you loveThe stories we tell ourselvesSaying your story out loud Making your “thing” time-bound Using accountability to initiate Episode References/Links:Agency MiniOPC Blog  OPC Flashcards:OPC Flashcards are on AmazonOPC Flashcards are on our site  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.  ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Social MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:01  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Welcome back to the Be It Till You See it interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the innovative convo I had with Taylor Smith in the our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. (do do do) Oh, right. Okay, so y'all, Happy Merry Christmas. We're past the Christmas holiday. I'm, if you're listening to this, it means you survived. So, good job. We are also really excited because this means we opened the Agency Mini number six doors. (woo woo woo)Brad Crowell 1:21  Yeah, we have.Lesley Logan 1:22  So we are doing our sixth Agency Mini, end of January. It's January 23, through the 29th. It is our seven day coaching program for fitness business professionals. All you Pilates instructors know and love it. And we're really excited, the space is limited. And it is the early bird time when this comes out ...Brad Crowell 1:42  Yeah. That means that there's a hookup.Lesley Logan 1:44  It's the hookup. And you know you are welcome to wait. (Lesley laughs) But we hope you don't (Brad: You can) you can, you can, if you, if you'd like living on the edge and seeing if something sells out or paying more you might as well but you can go to profitablepilates.com/mini.Brad Crowell 2:00  profitablepilates.com/miniLesley Logan 2:03  M I N I. And snag your spot. Tell a friend who's a fitness professional about it. It's really super fun. We only offer it twice a year and ...Brad Crowell 2:10  And it's going to be a snippet into our ongoing coaching program for fitness business professionals. (Lesley: Yeah) And it's it's gonna be a whirlwind. It's gonna be very revealing for you in your business to see you know what you could do with your business. And you're going to love it. It's going to be really amazing. (Lesley: Yeah) So come join us.Lesley Logan 2:33  Yeah, and we're on our way to Miami. (Brad: Yeah, we are.) We're going going back. Oh, that's back to Cali sorry. That's a wrong song. (Brad laughs) But anyways, we're going to Miami and I'm so excited to see our friends and to teach on a rooftop. So, if you are in Florida (Brad: Yeah. The middle of ...) (Lesley and Brad laughs) That's the song. Come join us at Philaton. We're gonna be on their rooftop for a sunset class.Brad Crowell 2:58  Yeah, on the 30th. (Lesley: Yeah) Yeah. So if you're trying to figure that out, go to onlinepilatesclasses.com/tour. (Lesley: Yep, yep, yep) Yeah, come join us and it's gonna be great.Lesley Logan 3:10  I'm so excited. I'm friggin' loving this trip. I mean, we... in full disclosure, y'all, we are recording this pre trip so we have no idea how cold we're gonna be, hot we're gonna be comfortable ...Brad Crowell 3:19  No, I know. I know. (Lesley laughs) I literally done all the forecasts (Lesley: Okay) of every day that we're gonna stay in the van.Lesley Logan 3:25  And well, because we have an audience question from Erika Quest.Brad Crowell 3:28  Well, the coldest that it's going to be is going to be 22 degrees.Lesley Logan 3:31  Which is way warmer (Brad: Yeah) than our last year's trip. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 3:35  That actually should be tonight. (Lesley: Oh, okay) Meaning, we're gonna be in Durango, Colorado.Lesley Logan 3:42  So, if you're listening to this in real time where you're going to go back in time we've already (Brad: Yeah) done this. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah)Brad Crowell 3:48  So you can ask us how that went. (Brad: Yeah) And then the the when we get, by the time we get down to Miami it's gonna be you know, higher than the 30's is gonna be fun. (Lesley: Yeah) Also, we'll have a house down there.Lesley Logan 3:59  Yeah, well, Erika Quest wanted to know. (Brad: Oh, good ole E-Q) (Brad laughs) Yeah, she wants to know ....Brad Crowell 4:07  Is the van insulated?Lesley Logan 4:09  Like, does she have to worry because do you know I don't think I told you this. When we were staying the night in Vail last year which is our first night in the van and y'all we literally drove it off the lot, filled it up with all of our stuff and then took off for the East Coast and we went on like December 4th, it was like so early in December. It was eight degrees in Vail and (Brad: Yes, it was) we were actually pretty solid until August. Stood up from underneath the covers turned around and then just basically took all the covers off of us and we both like it's so fucking cold! (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 4:38  Yeah, it was it was definitely cold weather camping where you only were willing to get your, your oval of the top of your face out from some like you know, hoodies and blankets and things. Plus we had tons of blankets and three mobile space heaters I like to call them. Aka, the dogs and then August messed the whole thing up at four in the morning by standing up in the middle of the night and stretching, spinning around in a circle. (Lesley: Yeah) And laying back down (Lesley: Yeah) well, while proceeding to pull (Lesley: all of our covers off) all the blankets off ...Lesley Logan 5:11  And once they were off, it was too cold. But anyways, back to my story, Erika Quest woke up in the middle of night thinking we were cold. She had a dream that we were really cold. (Brad: When?) On that same night, (Brad: No way, that's weird) Yeah, she texted me. And she texted me it was the that morning. And she's like, "I woke up to a nightmare. I, did, are you guys warm enough? I had a dream that you were really cold." And I said, "Well, that's so crazy, because we were fine. We were totally fine and tell August stood up." So anyways, Erika Quest, Brad did insulate the van.Brad Crowell 5:47  The van is insulated, it is ready to go. Well, if you want to read along to our journey, our progress on the van, you can do that on the onlinepilatesclasses.com/blog. And you can actually see pictures and read about what we're working on there. So that's going to be a long, but very fun project. And we hope you join us for the journey.Lesley Logan 6:10  Yeah, hopefully it's not as long as it sounds, but hopefully ... (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 6:14  I mean, we're definitely a year could be longer than that. We'll see. Yeah. (Lesley laughs) Okay. All right. Let's talk about Taylor Smith. (Lesley: Yeah, Taylor) Okay, so Tay... Taylor is a, she is a teacher-turned CEO, and is currently running a handmade sticker shop, Studio, Shop Studio Sisters on Etsy and is teaching others how to create a six figure salary doing specifically what they love.Lesley Logan 6:49  Isn't it so cool? I thought it was so cool. She and her sister make, made enough on Etsy to quit their in air quotes "real jobs," and do what they love. And then because they figured it out, they're teaching other people to do it. And I of course, I'm obsessed with that, because that's what we do. But um, I just, I just love I don't know, I just think it's so great. There's like, no stop if you want to do something. And and you do want to make it your living like literally you can make sticker making a living. And I did go on to Etsy for stickers. And it's not like she has no competition, y'all. There is so much competition on the sticker front. It's crazy. So, I'm super excited about them, what their doing. Brad Crowell 7:28  They definitely was a little shocking that that is the what they make is only stickers and they're all handmade. And they basically, that's what they do now. (Lesley: I know) Is stickers. So that that was like, I listening to her share, like how the timing of it all was also really incredible. If you didn't listen to this, go back and (Lesley: Yeah) figure out like, when did they start? The beginning of COVID. And within four months, within three months, she said she knew she should be quitting her job. (Lesley: Yeah) And focusing on stickers full time.Lesley Logan 8:09  Yeah. Which is really cool. And also, like, very interesting. I didn't realize when we were scheduling this, but our next week's guest also started her company, right around the same time as the beginning of COVID. And so it's like, you can think of, of that being like the worst time but if you can, if you have something unique and different, and you have belief and, and perseverance. (Lesley laughs) It's kind of amazing what you can do. So, okay, um, one of the things I thought she loved was, well, there's so many things we talked about, and I was really excited about but I really enjoyed her bringing up the story we tell ourselves that others will think about us. And I think that this is really interesting, because if anyone has ever taken the story that they're telling in their head about what others will say and just say it out loud. I think it really does diminish its power. Because there are some I mean, we all tell ourselves different stories. You know, like I even I remember even when we moved here, I was like, "Oh my God, what are people going to think? We, we went from this tiny house to a really big hou... We went from a tiny, tiny, tiny apartment to this big (Brad: Yeah, 500 square feet.) Yeah, to to this massive space?" And, "Are people going to, like judge us? Were they going to think about us?" And what in the world, people were so excited about it, but in my head, I just was like, "Oh my God, people are gonna think that like, we ran out (Lesley laughs) this money, which we didn't do." But like, I don't know ...Brad Crowell 9:31  Wait, what? I'm sorry. What?Lesley Logan 9:33  I know. I just thought like, "Oh my gosh, I don't want, I don't want to feel like I'm, I didn't I thought it would come off as bragging." Like, "This is my new house." When really it was like, literally literally the same bills. (Lesley laughs) We just moved. But like I just in my head, I had this weird story I was telling myself what others would think about our move. And it was so dumb because as soon as I said out loud as you can hear it's like such a ridiculous story but we tell the stories to ourselves, and we believe that because thoughts become facts. And so it's just really important. I think, I'm grateful that she brought this up. And I hope if you're listening this whatever story, you're telling yourself, I challenge you to say it out loud and actually, like, listen to the story. (Lesley laughs) Because you'll probably laugh about it. Like, it's kind of it's really hysterical. Like, what I was telling myself, year and a half ago. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 10:01  Yeah, I think I think that when we, we begin to believe the stories that we're telling ourselves, and that's the crux of the issue is where we actually that that confidence, you know, when you see someone walk in a room, and they're, and you and you're like, "Wow, that person, they've got it together, they know what they're doing." You know, that's a, that's the way they see themselves. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) You know, that's the story they're telling themselves. (Lesley: Yeah) And so if you have a story, that you're telling yourself, that you're not worth it or not worthy, or no one should follow you, or listen to you, or whatever it might be. You know, when when you're out there interacting with people, you're actually you're, you might not be verbally sharing that story. But you may be mentally sharing that story, your body language, the way, the way you phrase sentences, the, you know, the way your face is emoting things, you're telling a story as well. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, so it's really important that we have a positive conversation with ourselves. (Lesley: Yeah) So that when we're interacting with others, they're sensing that too. Now, I know that you can also like, you know, that's, that's something where it could be fake it till you make it, right, where it gets weird. And there's all sorts of fascinating stories about people, you know, like ...Lesley Logan 11:50  Well, but that's for like, that's where is Be It Till You See It because like ... (Brad: I was gonna say) after saying it like, I just remember. So this is my brainwave, everyone, like, as soon as we're talking about this, I remember when I was in retail, this one guy, he would come in, and he was having, his personal life was a hot mess. But you would never know it because he'd walk in. As soon as he crossed the threshold of the store, his eyes would light up, his heart would lift. And he's like, "Oh, I tell myself it's showtime," and I, (Brad: Oh, yeah) he doesn't walk, he struts (Lesley laughs) all the way up. And he would have the (Brad: He chasse's) best sales, 100%. And, and so in that moment, I learned something, when I became a sales, and I started managing that store that was like something that I told myself. And then (Brad: Yeah) when I became a Pilates instructor, oh my God, my first time I had to teach a lot of people was when my mentor literally called me up. She's like, "I'm locked out of my apartment. I've got my dog. I can't make it to the gym. (Brad laughs) Can you teach my class?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, I can go teach your class." (Brad laughs) And she has been teaching for like, 20 years at this point, right? And so I go to, I've been teaching like, six months. And I've never taught more than, like, seven people at once. And, and so I go to teach this group class for her. And of course, everyone is like, disappointed because it's not her and I'm like, "she's locked out." But in that moment, I didn't fake it till I make it. I didn't know I was being till I see, cuz I didn't know that phrase existed. But I did say, "Okay, if I knew how to teach 30 people at one time. What would that look like? How would that feel? What would that be like?" And I just frickin' did that. And that, within seven minutes, someone smiled. And like, I was like, "Okay, we're good." (Lesley laughs) So, but honestly, it was the story I told myself. I told myself, I could do it. I told myself that I had these feelings and things. And if I had told myself a story, like, "Oh, my God, everyone's gonna think I'm a fraud. Everyone's gonna think I don't know what's going on. Everyone's gonna wonder what like, you know, like, like, "why the hell is she even a teacher?" No one's gonna come take sessions with we. I would have sucked. (Brad: Yeah) I can tell you that right now. (Brad: Yeah) So anyways.Brad Crowell 13:56  I mean, I actually totally relate to the, totally relate to the moment of your, you know, fellow fellow employee hitting the floor, because when I worked in restaurants, that was exactly the way that I was trained by one of my closest friends growing up. He said, "Whenever you pass through this doorway, you know, which was the kitchen into the restaurant floor. There is a smile on your face. (Lesley: Yeah) There's no other option." And I was like, "Oh, yeah." And then then I learned that when I was, you know, 17. And so I took that with me for the rest of my time working in restaurants.Lesley Logan 14:33  And it really does change. Like if you are having a bad day, and you're going into work, and you just keep going, "I'm having a bad day. I'm having a bad day." You are going to just have the frickin' worst day but if you go, "Okay, today has the opportunity for awesomeness." (Brad: Yeah) (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 14:46  And what a, what a, you know, what a position to be dropped in where you're like, "I'm teaching the class (Lesley: I'm teaching this...) today." Okay. Yeah. Good for you. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan 14:56  Yeah. So anyways, just the thing, the fact is, I really did love that she brought up about the stories we tell ourselves or other people think, truly tell yourself a different story. That's the coolest thing about stories, you could just tell a new one. I mean, like, it's, you know, that's what stories are for. So what did you love?Brad Crowell 15:12  Okay, so she said that the importance of holding yourself, she talked about, sorry, the importance of holding yourself or having someone hold you accountable to your time off. (Lesley: Oh, do do do) (Lesley laughs) And I know, the reason that this was a thing for her was because she's in business with her sister. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) So presumably, she's around her sister often. And the two of them kind of trade off, checking out, you know, like, because because she also said that they work on different time schedules. (Lesley: Yeah) Because her sister is a super early riser, like up at four or five in the morning, and then working on design. And that made me laugh, because (Lesley: Yeah) I know someone like that. (Lesley laughs) So do you all. (Lesley: That's me) That's Lesley. Yeah. So you know, and then obviously, she works hard all day. And then I'm also, I'm on a totally different time zone, or time schedule. Where I get up later, and I stay up later. And so what we've identified is that the best time for us to be having the brainstorm sessions or whatever, is actually the middle of the day. And that's when both of our brains are firing at full capacity. But it's very easy for, you know, her to ask me questions about, you know, things the second that I wake up and me to ask her questions about things after she's checked off for the night. And so we have to be, you know, respectful of each other's time and boundaries. (Lesley: Yeah) With taking the evening off, or, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) sitting down and having breakfast, kind of a thing.Lesley Logan 16:02  Yeah, when, and it's not easy, but if you, it also is a work in progress, always. Because sometimes I get great ideas at like, 7pm. And then it's like, "Well, now I've just opened up the door to work." (Lesley laughs) But, um, but you know, having that person to be like, "Hey, let's just enjoy the walk." Or "Hey, can you put that in your ideas parking lot?" And, and also the, also the understanding that you can say it back like, "Hey, I'm actually off work right now. I love this idea. Can you (Brad: Yeah) just put it on another? (Brad: Yeah) Can you just set aside time to work on it?" So ...Brad Crowell 17:23  Yeah, and unless it's a time sensitive thing, you know, that's always a thing that can be like, "Oh, yeah, of course 100%. Yeah, I'll throw that down. And we can discuss it tomorrow." You know, so yeah. (Lesley: Yeah) And that's, so that, I love that because I thought, well, first off, I live that, but also to I, I saw my parents do this. They've worked together and they still work together. Like, they've been married for 40 years. My mom started working when I was 12 years old. So you know, 14 years in to their relationship. So it's been, you know, basically 25 years of them working together or a little more. And, you know, when they, when dinner was ready, when it was dinnertime. It was, they were, I don't think I ever heard him talk about work, you know. So that was also something that (Lesley: That's amazing) was a good example. (Lesley: That's amazing) Yeah, it was a very rare occasion. Like, I mean, you know, most of my life, I guess I knew what my dad did. I just knew that he was an accountant, (Lesley laughs) but I never actually heard any of the specifics of it, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) during the day, even though they worked together. (Lesley: Yeah) So ...Lesley Logan 18:35  That's cool. I like that. Well, (Brad: Yeah. All right.) here we go, something for us to keep working on. Okay.Brad Crowell 18:40  Let's talk about the BE IT action items from your conversation with Taylor Smith. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your interview with her? I'm just going to jump in. The one, one thing she said towards the end was to make "the thing", right, because she started a sticker company and that's, you know, like, to me that seems like that, "Okay, that's, that's surprising." I would, I don't think that would have been my thing, by by any means. But make "the thing", whatever yours is, time bound. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) Okay, and this this is so important for whether you're starting a company or you want to read a book. I mean, it doesn't matter what "the thing" is. If you don't associate a deadline with it, (Lesley: Yeah) it will always be just something that you want to do instead of something that you're going to do.Lesley Logan 19:43  Well, I think we and I've talked about this before it's it's okay to move the time-boundness you put on it. (Brad: Yeah, I think that's true) If you have an honest conversation, "Why am I moving this time?" Like we wanted to have the profitablepilates.com website up. Think it was in frickin' March. It didn't get done until the summer. But it wasn't because we weren't working on it. It's just because as we were working on it, "the time", we're like, "Oh, this is a bigger project than we actually anticipated. We're going to need X amount of more days to do it." So ...Brad Crowell 20:14  We also decided to add functions and make it (Lesley: Yeah) fancy and do all sorts of stuff, right? So ...Lesley Logan 20:19  So as long as you're actually taking action on it, if you need to move "the time", it's fine. But having the time bound piece part actually makes you take some action. And if you don't take action, you won't have clarity. So ...Brad Crowell 20:33  Yeah, I think it's also like, like, I went back to, when we started learning Khmer (Lesley: Yeah) you know, we had a weekly class with our teacher, (Lesley: I miss that so much) I miss it too, actually a lot. We had a weekly class with our teacher and that time bound, you know, class seems very obvious, but, you know, it forced us to study, it forced us to go do it, it forced us to be in it, to (Lesley: Yeah) practice it, to think about it, right. And that's something we signed ourselves up for, obviously, but you know, I, there's a, there, it changes the game, when you have a deadline associated with it.Lesley Logan 21:14  Well, and it's an actually, that's, I think, you can really start to figure out like, if one of the things you are as a procrastinator, a perfectionist, (Brad and Lesley laughs) by by setting aside some time slots, having things scheduled, it really does help you take that action and at least see if you like something, it's also okay to do the thing during the times that you said and go, "I don't really like this." Great, now you know, (Brad: Yeah) now it's no longer taking up space in your brain.Brad Crowell 21:41  Yeah, I love it. Well, what about you?Lesley Logan 21:43  My biggest takeaway, so I really like this one because it's really comes natural to me. But this is, is not always about me. So let me explain this. (Brad laughs) So she said, "Be the initiator in your life." And I don't think that comes easy for a lot of people. And I, and I also think depending on where you are, mentally, that could be really hard. But I do still love this and what I am hoping to say is, if you can't be the initiator in your life on something, you actually do truly want to do, like you've done, you know it like this isn't like a should do. This isn't like something you think you got to do, because everyone else is doing it. This is like, you want to do this, but you're struggling with the initiation because enter perfectionist have some form of it here. Or maybe if some mental health going on, that makes you a little harder, right? You, my challenge to you is to add on, or find someone to help you take that first next step. So that could be a coach. Right? Like, especially if you are financially invested in something, (Lesley laughs) you'll be surprised how much initiation you'll take. Or it could be having an accountability partner, could be some just talent being it till you see it literally because then people are gonna be like, "Hey, how's that thing going?" And so I there's different ways to be the initiator in your life and, or get initiation to be on there for you to help you take some action. And so if it doesn't come naturally to you, one of my top five strengths is activator. So it becomes ver... I get really frustrated, if I can't just take action, like couldn't drive me more crazy, but but if that isn't you. Let's brainstorm some ideas of ways that you can be the initiator in your life because the other, the alternative is you just waiting.Brad Crowell 22:20  Yeah. I mean, well, it's kind of like what we were talking about with the deadlines. And you know, also "the thing", the importance of having someone hold you accountable to we said time off, but just hold you accountable in general. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, and, and I think but you know, I think also the, the, when you want something you'll you'll you will be willing to make change to make that thing happen. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, and so it, it really does depend on how, how much you want (Lesley: Yeah) the thing.Lesley Logan 23:34  Yeah. And I think that's also interesting to figure out. Like, if you're not actually like, if you're like nodding along with this, and then you're still not initiating something. You may want to do a deep dive on, if you want that thing or not. (Brad: Yeah) Yeah. I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 24:25  And, I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 24:26  Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so freakin' grateful for you. What a year it's been. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM to the pod on Instagram and we'll catch you on the next episode.Brad Crowell 24:37  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 24:40  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 25:13  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer, is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan 25:24  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.Brad Crowell 25:28  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 25:37  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.Brad Crowell 25:49  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes, so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
I'm not your daddy's accountant (Ft. Damari Gold) - Ep51

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2021 37:50


Does your debt define you? Today Lesley interviewed tax accountant Damari Gold (don't worry, it's not all about boring taxes.) They discussed the idea of being debt free (is that good or irrelevant?), our personal relationships with money, starting a side hustle, and battling our fear of failure.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How Damari got her last nameWhat happens when you understand your personal finances?Accounting/bookkeeping doesn't come naturallyThe preconception that debt free means happinessFinances should serve as an affirmation not as a triggerThe numbers don't lie!How does money trigger you?How to start a side hustleFear of failureDebt shouldn't define us, yet we use it to define what's possibleHaving God-sized goalsEpisode References/Links:Damari's websiteDamari's IGThink and Grow Rich, by Napoleon HillThe Alchemist: A Fable About Following Your Dream, by Paulo CoelhoGuest Bio:Damari has a unique perspective on Money and Personal Finances. She holds a Master's Degree in Accounting and Finance, has been a practicing tax accountant for over ten years and owns a firm, The Gold Standard Accounting & Tax Inc in Huntington Beach, CA.Damari is passionate about helping small business owners, more specifically women-owned businesses, in understanding their money. As a first-generation American and an entrepreneur herself, she understands the difficulties that are faced. Money goes beyond business; that is why she is determined to help others Be Confident Money Women.Damari can share with you on different levels and aspects of Money and Personal finance; whether it be money mindset, money management, taxes, or just the fundamentals of business, she has something for everyone.If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Hello, Be It Till You See It listener. I love you. I'm just I'm just so excited that we're going to do this every week. Thank you for pressing play on this and downloading this podcast for you ever listen to it. It's really, it's actually it means so much to us. Believe it or not those things actually matter. And so, I'm grateful that you listen to these things but those are the things that matter. And and today I brought in a tax accountant and do not stop listening Holy Moly I promise this is not like going to tax accounting class. Damari Gold who is such a delight. She came in because I I was talking to her, I met her through Renee Dick another podcast guest we had and I just asked her I said like you know, "Do you know any other epic woman we should have on?" and when she introduced me to Damari is like, "Oh my gosh, she is the coolest tax accountant." She she has so many gems in here for you, so if you are afraid of money if like debt scares you, if taking the leap of being it till you see it is like hung up on what money you do or don't have, I need you to listen to this episode so much. This is probably one you're gonna save and relisten to because she really makes things less scary and I think you're gonna realize that she and you and I we're all the same. And I just it's joy. It's easy and it's not scary. Like like finances can be scary. This is not scary and she really has some great tips for you. So take a listen to the coolest tax accountant you will ever hear. (Lesley laughs) I don't think I could ever beat this. Thank you so much after this brief message we'll have Damari Gold.Lesley Logan 1:41  Welcome to the Be It Till You See it podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 2:24  Hi, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I have Damari Gold here with us today. Y'all, I I tell you all the time that it is important to ha... like lean into your friends and let people know what you're working on. And that is because I asked, I asked Renee Dick who was a podcast guest of ours recently. "Who else should I have? Who else should I talk to?" And she was like hands down, "Damari Gold you have to talk to her. She is amazing." And y'all I have had many times when I've talked to her already. She is amazing. I'm obsessed with what she's doing and I can't wait for you to hear her words for herself. So Damari, hi, thanks for being here.Damari Gold 2:59  Hi, thanks for having me.Lesley Logan 3:01  So can you tell everyone where you were like talking to you from where you are at? What you're up to? How you got into what you're doing?Damari Gold 3:07  Definitely, so I am in California. I, I'm the owner of the Gold Standard Accounting and Tax. So, I'm a tax accountant by career and trade. And we're located in Huntington Beach and, how did I get started? So way back when I think my passion for this type of industry became apparent to me because I'm a natural problem solver. And I ...Lesley Logan 3:34  That's such a cool strength (natural problem solver). (Damari laughs)Damari Gold 3:38  Yeah, I mean, I mean I think a lot of people tend to think that it's because of the numbers and, yes I am a bit of a numbers gal, but I think most of it came from problem solving. And in taxation it's just no one picture is ever the same. (Damari laughs) (Lesley: Wait) So, it really there's lots of room to problem solve I suppose. And I have also a very good gift at connecting the dots and seeing the big picture. So, I think that this industry was just the right call for me and you know I'm good at it. So, I'm happy. Lesley Logan 4:16  That's that is really cool. I've actually so... you'll be you're the first, you're the first tax accountant I've interviewed (Lesley laughs) on the podcast and when I put this out I didn't think like, "Oh I'm gonna have a tax accountant on here" but I also think you're the first one who I'v... who I've ever talked to who has like a story like that. Like, "I love mine." They're really good. They're really good at what they do but they're kind of like, "Lesley you want to send that in? Damari: Yeah) Because it's, it's time to send..." (Lesley and Damari laughs) (Damari: Yeah) What I love about you first of all, how cool is your name "Gold" because you could have the Gold Standard as your title like ...Damari Gold 4:49  Yes, well, it's my artist name so I picked it it's my chosen last name ... (Lesley and Damari laughs)Lesley Logan 4:56  Okay, if that's not being it till you see it though. So, can we talked about, do you mind talking about that? (Damari: No, no, no) So you were not Damari Gold by birth? (Damari: No) So, when did you decide like, how did you decide like you are going to give yourself an artist's name?Damari Gold 5:13  Well, okay so my favorite color is gold and it was always such an odd, like people would always say, like that's such an odd like color to say, right? And over time ...Lesley Logan 5:25  It's true. I think you're the only person has ever told me that gold is their favorite color.Damari Gold 5:28  Yeah. So so as I think as those things came about, you know, have you ever heard of that thing about "hearing things in threes," right? (Lesley: Yeah) And at the time I was reading "Think and Grow Rich" and in that he Napoleon Hill talks about that there more gold has been mined from the minds of men than actual physical gold. And it really stuck with me because I thought it's so true about how the gold really is in our like, we have a lot of it in ourselves and being able to dig that out and finding it. And so, as I was developing my business name, I decided to go with the Gold Standard Accounting and Tax and I thought, "Well you know what, I'm just gonna give myself the last name, Gold." That is how I came with my my artists last name.Lesley Logan 6:24  Okay. Obsessed because that is being it till you see it. You're like, "Yeah, I'm Damari Gold. I'm going to be the Gold. I'm going to name my company after this," like I (Damari: Yeah) you at all in, I love that so much. So okay, thank you for sharing that because I have been tempted, I'm not going to, not freak out. I have a really good thing but (Damari laughs) but I grew up with my mom, she was like, "You could change your name if you want to," and I'm like, "How, what would I change it to?" like who how ... it's a long story everyone, I was not supposed to named Lesley Logan, I suppose to name Morgan Jackson (Lesley and Damari laughs) So, I'm Morgan Jacklyn (Damari: Oh, I like it) and so like that. And it didn't, it didn't stick. So anyways, one day, I'll have my parents on to tell how that story happened. And anyways, but I wanted to have you on because something that I have been really, I've been hearing from people who struggle with being it till they see it, they struggle with putting themselves out there and trying new things is money. Money becomes this thing. And a lot of women, no offense ladies out there who do get into their money, but a lot of women, like don't have, there's not a lot being we're ... we're taught about our personal finances about money. I a few years ago, told a coach like, "I think I like my next thing is I want to be an investor and women, like led businesses." And I was like, so, I talking really small, like, "This is what I want." I was like, "Because that's like who does that?" Because you only hear about men doing it. You (Damari: Yeah) don't hear this... there are women doing it more and more lately, but you don't hear about it. And it's because I was never, no one told me, "How you do that?" No one taught me about that. So what what is it? Like, what would you ...? There's a lot we could talk about here. But can you tell me like, what do you see happening with women in their personal finances? And like, what happens if they actually understand them? What's what's out there for them?Damari Gold 8:12  I think time. I mean, that this is something that I'm definitely passionate about, because it is women and one of my slogans is "Be a confident money woman." And the reason why is because a lot of times when it comes to talking about money, when it comes to sharing on this area of our lives, there's a lot of shame, sometimes it goes with it, because success looks different for everyone. And sometimes when we feel like we're not meeting that status quo, when we're not meeting the conditioning that we have been brought up with, then we feel like we aren't successful or we aren't doing the right thing, or we are just not good with money. And one thing that I often share in a lot of podcasts and guest speaking that I'm on is, I don't own a home. I have $110,000 in student debt, because I have a master's degree. So and my baby is my business. My success is my business because I invested a lot of time, effort, energy. And to me being able to see my practice if your listeners want to go to my website or if they take a look at our office. My tax office, our tax office looks nothing like any other tax office you've ever seen in your life. So the details in my office is just a reflection of me because I got tired of gray walls, cubicles, ugly offices, like I spent a lot, the majority of my time there right? So I wanted to give my clients in the experience something different because I'm not your daddy's accountant. (Lesley and Damari laughs)Lesley Logan 9:54  I love that. So you're, you're, you're trying to make it accessible for women to a want to go to the office because it's pretty, and it's (Damari: Yes) welcoming, it's inviting. And and then also like, understand that it's not like just because you're a tax accountant doesn't mean that like, you're ... (Damari: Does have to be scary) Does have to be scary, right? Because you're a human being as well who's (Damari: Exactly) just like everyone else who graduate student ... loan debt because that's what everyone does no one's graduating debt free.Damari Gold 10:23  Yeah, exactly. And you know, what it is, is that oftentimes I think that this particular type of industry, because of the fact that it's for the most part has always been male dominated, or the type of accountants maybe that women have experienced or so on. Maybe they make you feel dumb, or maybe they make you feel like you don't know what you're talking about, and really offering that air, that place where it's safe for you to ask the questions regardless whether you feel like it's a dumb question, or it's anything. I do my best to answer in the best way possible, and also not to make you feel that way because literally, nobody teaches you that. So, how the hell am I supposed to like, I've spent 15 years in this industry, and I still have to learn a lot. There's still so much in this industry that... it takes time. (Lesley: Right) So, how can I expect someone that doesn't do that for a living that isn't, you know, wasn't taught all of these things? How can I expect for them to know? Right?Lesley Logan 11:21  Totally, I think that's really nice to hear. I'm wondering, like, when people, like what are the things that people may be thinking about when it comes to their personal finances? Because I think we get really caught up in what we don't have. And like, you know, some people are scared to check their bank account. (Lesley laughs) (Damari: Yeah) And, you know, there's a lot of like, I have student like, shame around student loan debt, shame around if they don't own their house yet, or whatever. And like, or maybe they've had to file bankruptcy or something. (Damari: Yeah) What are some areas that people should actually be paying attention to that might actually be a positive thing around this topic?Damari Gold 11:54  Yeah, yeah, definitely, you know, something that I've noticed a pattern is really up for a lot of people is debt is such a heavy weight on their shoulders. And sometimes they don't even have to have a lot of debt. But again, often what you hear out there is that debt free life is the way to go. If you're debt free, this is how you're going to feel whatever you're going to feel confident, you're going to be feel free, you're going to feel all these things and I don't teach that. I say freedom at any wage and because you have to create the life that you want. And that comes no matter how much money you make, (Lesley: Yeah) because what all of a sudden, you're debt free and now you're going to feel confident? And a lot of times people give up on that, because they see the big number. And they feel like this is just so much for me to get to. They feel the stress, they feel the burden of budgeting, feeling restricted feeling all of these things. So to me, it's not about the debt, there are many buckets that you have to hit in your financial picture, not just paying off debt. Debt, that, to me, is like, I don't care. May God bless you and pay for it because I'm not gonna worry about it. Like, I want to fix my life, or I want to live my life in a way where I have the freedoms that I want, time is something that I can never get back. And so looking at our finances, what's funny is that I was just talking to Renee, today. And it was so cool, because we were talking about like, the money situation and looking at your numbers. And, you know, it's like we came up with a phrase or I would say I said to her, like, "You know, the thing with numbers or the thing was looking at your finances and so on. It should serve you as an affirmation not as a trigger." And look ... Right? (Damari laughs)Lesley Logan 13:44  Say that one more time, because that's so good.Damari Gold 13:47  Looking at our numbers, our finances, our money should serve you as an affirmation not as a trigger. And ...Lesley Logan 13:54  That is so good. (Damari: Right) That is so good. (Damari laughs)Damari Gold 13:58  And so because really, the reality is is that all of us are chasing something. I, listen guys, I have a ton of things that I have to work through with my money relationship because of my unhealed things, right? Because my mom, I'm a first generation American, my mom was an immigrant. She came to this country with nothing. I'm having enough is something that is stays with me. And sometimes when I feel like I don't have enough, I don't make enough and instead of really looking to see how is the universe, God, whatever you believe in supporting you by seeing the numbers, because I do sometimes look at them and I get stressed out but then I think, man, like I really, really dove into my business about a year ago. Like, I left I had a nine to five while I was building my business on the side, and I couldn't pull the trigger on opening my own office and doing it because I was scared because I know (Lesley: Yeah) that there was a lot more that that went into it. (Lesley: Yeah) So but then I knew it. I wasn't happy with working for someone I wasn't happy. And I know although I've had great people that I've worked for, and I've learned a lot, it just wasn't fulfilling. So, when I finally rip the band aid, when all in, like, the evidence is there, the work that I've been putting in, the numbers show it, and they should serve me as that as an affirmation of my work.Lesley Logan 15:30  So there's so mu... there's a few things in there that like, I'm like, "Oh," because, (Damari: Yeah) so my family was not first generation, you know here, (Damari: Yeah) but but not too far off. However, like, there was not a lot of money, there was actually very, very often there was none. And so I have that trigger, where I have a hard time going to the bank account, because I fear is like, there won't be enough and there's ... (Lesley laughs) like, a totally dumb, I totally see that as like, but if you don't look that how do you know it's in there, I'm like, "Everything is on AutoPay." (Damari: Yeah) You know, like my student loans. When they make you go that meeting at school, like they make you go to the meeting, and they're like, (Damari: Yeah) "You are never getting away from these" and like (Damari: Yeah) everyone, if you've never had to go to that meeting, they literally say, "Even if you cut a limb off, even if you lose a limb, even if you lose all of your limbs, if you're alive, those student loans are still there. If you file bankruptcy, they're still there, (Damari: They're still there) until you die, they're there," right? (Damari: Yeah) And so I had friends who adjusted their student loan payments, because you know, when you get to college don't make a lot of money. And I was (Damari: Yeah) like, "I am, I don't even want, I do not want these things around." So, I kept it at what it was I like, worked my hiney off on AutoPay with that, and and I just I had to get comfortable with debt. Because also what I discovered with that, which is really interesting is if you don't have any debt, you don't have any credit cards, you also have a great credit score. It's not like you get like, like, (Damari: Exactly, yeah) it's a whole game that you have to (Damari: It is) get good at managing debt and credit so that you ... so it's that that's it's own topic. It's another day ... (Damari: Aha, yeah) one. So, I was so like, "I don't want to know about that, like, whatever it's there that whole bless it." (Damari: Yeah) When I paid off my student loans, I didn't even know it. I was in my office and I got this email said, "You made your last payment." And I was like, "My last payment. (Damari: What?) What?" (Lesley laughs) And, you know, so so there is something that like, because I didn't focus on that debt, because I was like, "It's gonna come out every month, there's nothing I can do about it. It's pay, it's like, I this is how (Damari: Yeah) much I have to make to make sure all my auto pays go through." It actually was like so freeing that brain space of not letting what you said, "Let it be a trigger." (Damari: Yeah) It's taken me a long time because you know ... some days I remind myself more than others. But when you look at your numbers, right, and I ... the end of every month, I have to do payroll. (Damari: Yeah) I, you know, we are very careful about going, "Oh, we have to pay this much. It's like we get to guess, what our bills are this month." (Damari: Yeah) (Lesley and Damari laughs) "Guess, what our bills are this month?" What do you think is holding because you know you were doing a side hustle before you may hide your business. I see a lot of people not starting new things that they have, like burning desire to do because of money. And (Damari: Yeah) what would you say like what is it? Obviously that if there's no money, then there's no money, but like, what are some things that they can think about or do to start that side hustle and get out of that money block? Do ...Damari Gold 18:36  Just honestly, sometimes it's not even there's no secret sauce, it's just fucking do it. Sorry. (Lesley laughs) (Lesley: You can ...) It just honestly, it really is that because the truth of the matter is that, time is going to pass you by, life is going to continue to happen. And you will continue to feel the way you feel if you do not fulfill your life's legend. And I don't know if anybody's read The Alchemist but it's a great book. And what it comes down to is that we can live our lives in continually thinking about something that we want to try or something that we want to do a lot of times, we have a fear of failure, right? (Lesley: Yeah) So oftentimes that'll stop us. And if really you write down what your fear is, then if failure is it, like "What happens if you fail?" Like what, what people know that you failed, okay? Like, you know, a great story. Thomas Edison, right? He all the attempts he made and literally I'm talking thousands and I was hearing I forget what book and he was writing the let's say 500 failed attempt and the guy's like, "Why do you keep doing..." he's like, "This isn't a failure. This is attempt number 500 that didn't work. So, now I know that I have 501 to kind of make this happen." And of course, I'm paraphrasing, (Lesley: Yeah.) (Damari laughs) but that's how it is. I mean, if you're passionate about something, if you really want to make something happen, because trust me, guys, I tried to move away from my vision, I really did ... I literally five years, I was like I tried. And then I was like, "No, never mind, or this isn't gonna work or this office areas not gonna work." And it just, at some point, I even almost said, "You know what, maybe I should stop tax accounting altogether. And just be an accounting manager." Consistent day in, day out, same I tried, it (Lesley laughs) it did not work, (Lesley: Right) I can't get away from it myself. So that's something that you have to keep in mind that, it's like, if you have that in your heart, no matter what you try to do to steer away from it, it's always going to come back to you, it's always going to be in the back of your mind, it's always going to be something that you truly desire, and allowing debt or money, or the fact that we've maybe put ourselves in a financial situation that's not ideal, sometimes can be difficult to rip that band aid, because we're thinking, "Okay, I still have to pay my bills, I get that." But that doesn't have to be the ultimate definer. Because what happens is that you allow that to be your crutch, you say, "Oh, I'm not going to be able to do this, or I won't be able to get to my dream because I have to pay off my debt first."Lesley Logan 21:27  Right? Thank you for saying that. I hear that all the time. "Oh, I can't start that job yet. Or I can't do that training yet. Or I can't do that yet because I got to pay this off first." And I don't know who I don't know where that came from because I had a similar thing when I was I graduated college, I had, you know, $50,000 of student debt, loan debt and credit card debt, because I also put some put a bunch of college that was like, "Oh, I can't get more loans for those books. Okay." Did I read that book? No, I didn't. (Lesley and Damari laughs) But they said I would need it for the test. So, I remember when someone's like, "You should be a Pilates teacher." I literally thought but I got to pay off this debt first. Like, (Damari: Yeah ...) Oh my God... If I had waited everyone, so just so you know, I paid it off at the age of 34. (Lesley laughs) (Damari: Nice) (Damari laughs) Like that would be so but you know, so I think that's really an interesting thing. And I also, you know, I've said this before, to clients who they come in, because I want to lose weight. And my big thing is like, "Okay, well, what, what is that? What is that going to give you?" Because, like, it's not the weight, right? (Damari: Yeah.) And that's also I don't, I actually don't know how to do that for you. But I'd love to know what you think is going to happen on the other side of that, right? And they'll say different things, none of which really has anything to do with that with actual weight. They could do it now, anyways. But I always tell people is like, "You don't go around walking around with a scale on your neck for everyone to see that you gained or lost?" Like, (Damari: Yeah) I gain and lose several pounds in one day, you know, (Damari: Yeah) so, we all do. So, we don't walk around with our debt, or our credit score, like a little bubble. (Damari: Yeah, exactly.) So, it doesn't define us. And yet, somehow it we use it as a definition of what's possible. And so I love that you, I love that you said just do it. Because the truth is, is like that is the like, you have to try it out. You have to try whatever is in you. And then you can see possibilities, you know, so (Damari: Yeah) you open your own business a year ago, a little over a year ago. (Damari: Yeah) Yeah. So um, what, like, what are some surprises that you had and what are like good or bad? Like, is there anything that you're like, "Oh, that was easier than I thought," or "Oh, I wasn't expecting that to be so hard."Damari Gold 23:43  Oh, yeah, there's tons of it. So the first one I'm going to say is that I when I found my place, because I had tried it a few times. And I knew about three years ago, I had written in my journal that we were going to have an office in Huntington Beach and why Huntington Beach because I love the beach, and I love the ocean. And at some point, we want to be closer to the ocean. And so and I just kept saying that, you know what you were saying about, "Be it before you are it," and (Lesley: Yeah) so I kept saying that and I kept saying that to clients and so on and and, and two years later it actually happened. And so when I walked into the space when it was I was having a moment that day, and I was feeling down on myself because I was just like, "Where do I go from here?" Like, "I know I feel I have this desire, I don't know what to do." Like, "I want to start I want to have a brick and mortar but I don't really know where and or how this is going to happen." And so I went to go see the space and I walked in there and I knew and I just absolutely knew and guess what, again, the numbers might have not been there for me immediately, but I was immediately supported by the universe and people around me where I was able to get the money to fix the place. I was able to get the money to make sure that we were good and then we had enough capital. And so it was awesome just to see the fact that it's like things just came to be. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) Now the surprise that a lot of times and, guys, I'm an accountant, so although I, I wrote out and structured what I thought like the costs were going to be in the overhead and all these things... definitely was not prepared for this new overhead. And it was, it was, it, it's been, I'll say it's been a process because normally with all of the work that I've been doing on the side I got to keep that. I didn't I didn't have the rent to pay for an office. I didn't have an assistant to pay for. I didn't have utilities and all of this marketing and all this stuff. Right? So that definitely took me to a whole new level of like, "Oh shit." (Damari laughs)Lesley Logan 26:02  Yeah. I know, I know that. I when I opened my studio like I knew how much money I was paying in rent to, my, the studio I was renting from and so on average like, depending on if I was in town that month or not, it was between $1200 to $2000 and so I thought, "Well, if I have ..." (Damari: It's not that bad) It's not that bad, right? And so I'm like, "If I get ... a studio for myself that's $1600 or less" then even with utilities whatever like I'm good, right? Totally (Damari: Yeah) good like I did the math on how much internet was going to be, my utilities whatever. So, I think I was gonna be so good and like some months will be more expensive than normal because I was traveling but not that much it would all like even itself out. (Lesley laughs) (Damari: Exactly) I don't know it's like the insurance that you have to pay when you own your own business is not to scare anyone but it was just like, "Oh that's how much that bill is actually. Oh. that's different. Okay, no problem, not a big deal," and you know and then like you'd like there's these like little hidden things and it's not to distract you it's just like what you said earlier is somehow the money does come or somehow things show up for you. So when I open my studio I didn't have most of the equipment at all because it was late ...Damari Gold 27:14  Oh yeah and your equipments so expensive too. (Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 27:17  It's so expensive and I couldn't get a bank loan, so no bank would give me a loan and I was like, "Is it kind of asking for enough?" Like I'm showing profit this many... that, I've been profiting every year and I've been in business and I think I feel like it was I didn't ask for it. You know and you're like, "Maybe I didn't ask for enough," and they're like, "This isn't a big enough thing for us so we don't deal with it." Anyways, so I charged it, I charged 50% of the equipment on a credit card wait, while I was waiting the three months for it I paid that off and then I charged the other half and I was like, "Okay we're just gonna let that do its thing because that's what I don't have I can't pay it off again in three months." (Damari: Yeah) And but people loaned me equipment, so I could be in business. (Damari: Nice) Now I wait it. Like you it's kind of like this thing I've heard people say it in different ways if Hazel Ortega who talks about miracle dre... miracle goals and like I've had other I've heard other people talk about how it's so important to have like God size goals because like we can only do this much and logically you're like, "How am I going to do that?" (Damari: Yeah) But when you actually start the wheels in motion, you're surprised by, "Oh oh this person is like ... remember they owed me a bill." Or this person is like, "Hey, do you need that I wanted that..." You'd be surprised so it's like so important that we actually do go big because (Damari: Yes) it works itself out and it's you know you learn stuff along the way but the other side is but you know you could have just been doing nine to five account managing and that would have like drained your soul because that's ...Damari Gold 28:43  Yeah. Well, it was it was I wasn't I wasn't happy I mean I did it for like three months and then I was like, "Man, F this place." (Lesley: Yeah) But I knew that I had to go through that journey. I knew that I really had to like what's it called like legitima... I don't know what that's worth but make it more so it's an affirmation for me like it was just a confirmation that where I belonged was not there (Lesley: Yeah) and that as much as I tried to get away from it, as much as I tried to do something else it just that wasn't it. And sometimes our God size goals are huge goals because this happens to me is that they get overwhelming because we want to be the ones to know how we're going to get there. And it's it's one of those things where you really do have to sit back and be like, "It's not up to me to know the 'how', it's up to me to have faith that it will happen." And when it does, you know it's going to be awesome.Lesley Logan 29:45  I love this. It's not at all what I thought a tax account would ever talk about when it comes to... (Damari and Lesley laughs) Like, knowing our personal finances and like taking big leaps. Okay, Damari so, where can everyone find you if they're like, "This girl is the first time I've ever heard someone talking about money that actually feels like they know me and get me, they are me." Where can they follow you or find you?Damari Gold 30:06  They can find me on Instagram @damarigold or they can go to our website www you have to put the triple w for some reason I got to fix that but damarigold.com and I have to say disclose it because I've been having that issue. So damarigold.com. That's our website and you can find other resources and contact information there as well.Lesley Logan 30:26  Awesome. We'll have all that in the show notes and then Brad can also help you figure out (Damar: Yeah) what's going on there. Yeah, cuz you ... usually you have to put like I put the https colon (Damari: colon) slash slash. (Damari: Yeah) (Damari and Lesley laughs) And I ... (Damari: It's like, "What is this?") I don't I don't say it. I just hope that internet's put it in there and ...Damari Gold 30:47  I know and that's what you would think but when people ... I've done it on browsers damarigold.com it won't like default templates but I'm sure it's something in the back end .... So, but ...Lesley Logan 30:57  Perfect is boring, take messy action just find a work around.Damari Gold 31:02  Exactly. Messy beginnings are normal.Lesley Logan 31:04  Yeah. Messy beginnings are normal. That's a new phrase. I love it. Okay, so be it till you see it, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps that people can take so that they could be like you so that it could do the thing that has been burnin' in them, inside them.Damari Gold 31:19  Inside. Oh man okay um you know if I would say write it down write your your super huge big vision that seems like what you would not tell anybody or what you feel like somebody would judge you for or anything like that. Write it down and as you're going through life become aware of how you're being supported in that in that vision. So whether that be someone sort of encourages you with a word, maybe you hearing this is again another affirmation to, you what you want to accomplish but become aware of your surroundings and the things that are directing you in the ... in that place. Because a lot of times we can feel these goals or we can feel this desire but we don't write it down so we just kind of internalize it and we don't put it out there and sometimes putting it out there is might be the first scary part of things writing it out. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? And then just think what's the worst that can happen like literally break it down? What is the worst that can happen? What you fail? I don't know (Damari laughs) like, what happen ...Lesley Logan 32:30  I love that because I used to do, "I'm like what is the worst thing ... Am I gonna die?" because that to me is the worst (Damari: Yeah ...) I find that ... (Damari: Yeah, it's true) that's it. So and then I actually like realist I'm like "Nope, I won't I won't die from this. Okay, well ..."Damari Gold 32:44  Is it gonna affect your health, right? Like is it going to do anything and sometimes if you we don't have to run before we crawl so don't think that just because you write it down all of a sudden this means that tomorrow you need to do this. (Lesley: Right) It means that this can be something that you can build upon, that you can start off slowly, that you can grow and increment and just put to see if it does continue to ring or to pull on your heart ... it's your passion. And I think just being able to see that written down and becoming aware of your surroundings are signs that are telling you, "That this is the direction that you should be heading in." I think we'll just ... (Lesley: I love that) that decision making a little bit more easier.Lesley Logan 33:30  I love it. I love it, it's such a simple thing that people ... that's so powerful and it does, it does totally allow you to see those one of our guests, Joanna Vargas as I call them feather touches. Like he put out there like there's feather touches out there. So (Damari: Yeah) ah Damari Gold, you are amazing. I'm (Damari: It's amazing, too) so glad we got to have you on here and talk about this. Thanks for making us all realize that this money stuff that we have hanging over our head, letting this define us, is not defining us it's just something (Damari: I know) that's out there and there's bigger things for us out there. So just thank you so much. Everyone screenshot this podcast, tag @damarigold (Damari: Yeah) on Instagram. We'll put her handle in the show notes as well. And the be it till you see it pod, so @be_it_pod with your takeaways. What did you get from those ... of this podcast? So that she can see what you are taking away from it, also other people and that might, (Damari: Yeah) that might be the sign that they needed to do what they're about to ... (Damari: Exactly) domino effect, I think. Thank you everyone. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 34:33  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!Lesley Logan 35:01  'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 35:05  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 35:12  Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.Brad Crowell 35:18  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 35:27  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week. so you can.Brad Crowell 35:38  And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
Muumuus in a Mall (ft. Brad Crowell) - Ep34

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2021 32:17


Today Brad and Lesley discuss last episodes convo with Jessica Burgio, digging into the ideas of how to get referrals, first clients, the gift of gab... And, you'll learn what scares LL more than a roller coaster...If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The power of putting yourself in rooms with people you don't knowWOO - winning others overYou are one or two people away from the person you want to meetThe "gift of gab"Exactly how to talk to someone you don't knowYou're always one person away from a referralDone is better than perfectEpisode References/Links:Sponsor a First ResponderHow to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale CarnegieGretchen RubinJessica Burgio's websiteBeauty Inspires Beauty websiteJessica Burgio's IGBeauty Inspires Beauty IGBeauty Inspires Beauty podcastIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:01  Welcome to the Be It Till You See it podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell 0:43  Nails, hair, hips, heels. Nails, hair, hips, heels. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan 0:47  I just love it. I don't walk a strut strut strut ... and then a sashay ... I love to walk the dogs to this song, it's one of my favorite songs. (Brad laughs)Brad Crowell 0:58  Okay.Lesley Logan 1:00  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co hosts in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the enthusiastic convo I have with Jessica Burgio in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, then feel free to pause this now. (Brad: Yeah) Do the thing to whatever app you're using to (Brad: The thing) to to listen to the other one. And then come back and join us or listen to this one and then go back and then you tell us which takeaway you liked and DM us. (Brad: Love it. Do it) I love it, too. Okay. Aaahh, before we gonna do this, because I love Jessica ... she and I met over leggings. So you know, that speaks my language. But I'm so, I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited to share this. On September 30th, y'all, I will be on the Strong Fitness Magazine's Instagram live. It is National Women Health and Fitness Day. And we are talking about the importance of self care and how it's not selfish care. And I'm freakin stoked about this. And I really, really, really want you to join because it's a message they all need to hear and and that in fact, tell your friends about it so that they come, too.Brad Crowell 2:06  Yes, I am excited about that, too. In fact, I think you're gonna be alive a few times that day.Lesley Logan 2:12  I know. So, Strong Fitness Magazine is having me on a few times... well I'll be on, I'm on them a few times in a few weeks. But that one is a big talk that I'm really, really excited about. (Brad: Yeah) And so yeah, National Health and Fitness Day, spend it with me over @strongfitnessmag Instagram.Brad Crowell 2:28  On the IG.Lesley Logan 2:30  Do we have a question from someone in the audience, my love?Brad Crowell 2:34  Yes, we do.Lesley Logan 2:35  Tell me more.Brad Crowell 2:35  We have, have a question about, "I heard you're doing something to sponsor first responders. How do I do that?"Lesley Logan 2:43  I love it. I love that people are like, "Yeah, I want in! I'm in."Brad Crowell 2:47  I mean, I'm so grateful that you asked this question because we obviously want to talk about it. If you haven't listened to our last couple of episodes, then you're missing out. But we will happily reiterate right here, right now.Lesley Logan 2:59  It is so important. So, I am someone who kind of struggles a bit about the fact that... you're you're listening this... live everywhere. Like we have Be It listeners all over the world. (Brad: Yeah) It's insane. Like, there's some countries I didn't even know we're around. So ...Brad Crowell 3:16  We're getting famous in India.Lesley Logan 3:17  Yeah. Well, that's, (Brad: That's cool.) But like Uzbekistan, or like ...Brad Crowell 3:23  ... Azerbaijan?Lesley Logan 3:25  Azerbaijan!Brad Crowell 3:26  Azerbaijan, I think so.Lesley Logan 3:27  If you are listening from Azerbaijan. Hi ... (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 3:29  Yeah, send us a DM and say hello.Lesley Logan 3:32  So um, the the reason we chose first responders is that no matter where you live in the world, right now, your first responders are working their tails off. Oh, well, I like to (Brad: Yeah) call it their Thasses off. And so it is, I really struggle, I want to have ways of giving back. And I want to make sure that when you participate in things with us that they can give back to things but a lot of my charities are like, local, not really ...Brad Crowell 3:58  Well, generally connected to local stuff, (Lesley: Local stuff, but ...) you obviously you're listening from not here.Lesley Logan 4:04  Not here. So this is what's really cool, you can actually sponsor a first responder in our upcoming challenge, which is all about putting yourself first (Brad: Me, Myself and I). Yes, it's all about filling your cup first, and who needs to fill their cup first more than a first responder or essential worker. They, as we all know, have been just really dealing with it in the last 18 months. And so here's how it works. When you go to sign up for the challenge, and obviously you don't actually have to sign up for the challenge in the show notes below. There's a special link.Brad Crowell 4:35  You should though.Lesley Logan 4:36  You should because like it's, I mean, you sign yourself up as your vote of self care for you. And then you sign your first responder, buddy up or person that has touched your life as an essential worker ...Brad Crowell 4:48  And then you can do this together.Lesley Logan 4:49  And you can do this together. And here's the thing. So the links below to the act, there's a special link for the first responders. So normally ... (Brad: In the show notes) Normally the challenge is $99, it's about $1139 in value, and then Brad added a special gift. So it's more than that. So it's $99 for the challenge, but first first responder that your sponsor, it's only $30 bucks, because we're splitting the cost with you. And this way your first responder can live anywhere in the world. And they can be touched by this special gift that's actually going to, in the challenge I'm going to teach you and them, how to fill your cup first, you can take care of others and do more of what you love and be there for the people that matter to you. So you don't have to know what Pilates is, we've got special classes for those people who are brand new. You also don't have to do the full class because finishing is optional. We like to say that, but ...Brad Crowell 5:40  Yeah, in fact, one of our members said that ... and we thought that was amazing.Lesley Logan 5:44  I think we're gonna make it a shirt. So yeah, go to that, click the links below, sign yourself up, sign up, first responder up, and then for 30 days, we are going to ditch the old ways that you think and you have used to make consistency a possibility in your life. And that only leaves you feeling bad about yourself, and actually learned the tools and tips that help you feel really freakin' awesome about yourself. Help you create consistency and guess we'll use Pilates, but you can rinse and repeat all these tips for anything you want to be consistent with.Brad Crowell 6:14  Okay, so don't miss it because it's all happening on October 3 is the start date. If you're a day or two late, that's okay, you can still participate in the challenge. But the the anyway, sign up now, don't wait because, you know, we're gonna get started and it's gonna be 30 days from October 3.Lesley Logan 6:35  Yeah, I'm excited. Okay. Yey, love that question. Thanks for asking. If you want to ask a question of us, you just send it to @be_it_pod on Instagram. Just say ... (Brad: Send us a DM) I would love to answer it. It can be anything in life. It doesn't have to be anything about Pilates ... itself. It could be anything on your mind that you just would love the opinion of Brad and I ...Brad Crowell 6:54  Like where do, where does Lesley find these amazing backdrop hanging banner things?Lesley Logan 7:00  I know, we got to get a new one because I'm super over this one.Brad Crowell 7:03  Like, how come I look like I'm in a completely different room than her? (Lesley laughs) With my backdrop? Is that real? (Lesley: You know, what? I...) Or what's happening? Are we on the other side of the house?Lesley Logan 7:15  No, we're not on the other side of house. But I'm definitely ordering a new backdrop ...Brad Crowell 7:18  No, they're supposed to ask so we can answer.Lesley Logan 7:20  Well, they can ask me where I get them. But I'm still ordering another one. DM @be_it_pod.Brad Crowell 7:26  DM the @be_it_pod. Okay, now let's talk about Jessica Burgio. (Lesley: Jessica Burgio) Jessica, known as "The Beauty Mentor," is a confidence coach for Beauty Industry Professionals. She's a single mom at 40 years old, a former salon over, owner. Sorry, former salon owner. (Lesley: I like in over) Over is was was my next word. (Lesley laughs) She has over 20 years of behind-the-chair experience and she's the founder of the Beauty Inspires Beauty podcast. She is excited, enthusiastic and inspiring. If you've not listened to her episode yet with Lesley, you should definitely do so. It is, she's just rad, you know ...Especially to moms out there, listen to it, because she's a badass, and it's not easy to be a mom in general. To be a single mom, woo. (Lesley laughs)It was good. It was really good to listen to her, you know, talk about the ... just life, getting to where she is today and how she started as a really excited, enthusiastic 20 year old in the beauty biz. And, you know, kind of killed it right out of the gate and then started looking around going, "How come I'm I'm doing well but all my peers, not all but many of my peers are not?" And then (Lesley: Yeah) realizing that she should find a solution or can find a solution to empower others, all the while starting family on the way. So ...Lesley Logan 8:57  I mean, aside from the family all the way, clearly she and I became friends for over many reasons. (Brad: Yeah) Not just my amazing ... (Brad: I thought there was a parallel there.) There was, there was I got really, really fastly busy as a Pilates instructor. And then I was like, "How come my peers aren't as busy as me?" Anyways, we met actually over leggings and then we ended up a group together. So, but you've need to listen the podcast to hera how that happened. Okay, so something I really love that she said is, "The power of putting yourself in rooms with people you don't know." And of course, I've achieved this one for a couple reasons. She and I met because we put ourselves in a room of people we don't know (Brad: Yeah) and that has changed. Not just my career, but my life. Some of my favorite people that I get to talk to every single week are people I've met in a room that I put myself in. I was like, "I don't even know what this is. I don't even know what a mastermind is on anything." But currently, you and I are literally putting ourselves in rooms, pools, parties. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 9:51  Yeah. Surprise parties, movie theaters, all the things. So ...Lesley Logan 9:55  Well, we do surprise party for a person we know only a couple of times who shopped at their store, and we knew no one else there, and thankfully, we actually ended up knowing someone that was like, "Oh, the only other person we know in Vegas is here. That's amazing!" (Brad: Yeah) (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 10:09  Yeah, we, as you know, we moved to Vegas last summer, but because of COVID, we really haven't been going out until, like three months ago. So, because now we're vaccinated and exploring Las Vegas, it's been a) fun to like, learn the street names because I literally was like, "I know my street. That's it." (Lesley and Brad laughs) You know ...Lesley Logan 10:31  We tell people, "We live over in this neighborhood." And they're like, "Where?" and I'm like, "...you exit the fifteen at..." (Brad: Right) (Lesley and Brad laughs) Brad Crowell 10:40  That's where we know. That's about all we know. (Lesley: And then you make a left) Yeah. (Lesley laughs) So, it's been fun to get to know the city of Las Vegas, and then also obviously, meeting the people here. So, we've been really trying to connect. So ...Lesley Logan 10:53  Yeah but but putting yourself in rooms of people you don't know, you learn so much about yourself. Like, it is self awareness time, because you will learn like what you're a little bit afraid to say, what, like a little bit about like, "Ooh, that's intriguing. Oh, that's interesting. That scares me a little bit" like, I don't know. It's scary and super fun. More than a roller coaster, I find, what do you think?Brad Crowell 11:16  Yeah, I mean, Well, look, you you know me ...Lesley Logan 11:19  Oh, Brad makes friends with everyone. Everyone.Brad Crowell 11:21  My, my, my my favorite thing to do is meet new people. My number one strength for a lot of my life was, is/was WOO. WOO stands for Winning Others Over. Which if you like, look at the definition of it. It basically means I love to meet everybody in the room and get to know who they are. And then like, have a conversation briefly and move on to the next person and meet them. And that's just something that I've always done. And so anyway, (Lesley: Always) I love getting out there and meeting new people.Always done. (Brad: Yeah.) Oh. (Lesley laughs) And it's also really great, because you but but the power of that is we have really connected with some amazing people that we probably... we went to dinner with a guy you met you met in an elevator? I was in that elevator but you met him in that elevator.Yes, I started talking to him in an elevator that was maybe 60 seconds elevator ride. And we got to the top and we walked from the elevator to the restaurant bar and we and then ... (Lesley: Somehow exchanged phone number) that was the extent of the conversation. No, like, I knew there was more of a conversation to have. And we went, we sat, we had our drinks and our hang. And when we were leaving, I was like, "I'm not finished with this conversation with this guy." And, so I ran over ... I interrupted his party. I literally interrupted a conversation and I'm like waived from him. I'm like, "Yo!" And he came over I was like, "Hey, we got a jet, but we should keep talking," you know. And he's like, "Absolutely." We exchanged phone numbers and then we ended up going to a he was like, he texted me, "I'm coming back to Vegas. You guys should get tickets to this concert. I'm going to go to this concert. Let's hang."Lesley Logan 13:01  Yeah. We got tickets to a ... What do you call those things, Rastafari?Brad Crowell 13:05  No. We went to a reggae concert. (Lesley laughs) Yeah.Lesley Logan 13:11  We did go to a reggae concert with this guy, first went to dinner with him. He and his partner ... his partner in life, but his partner and his business. (Brad: Yeah) They're like big time, financial, something kinds of people. But we ended up having the best time and that friendship is not done. It's not a one hit wonder (Brad: No, it was a blast.) You know, so the power is that like, you are often like one or two people away from the person you want to meet. Like, I am almost positive between one or two connections, we have Oprah's phone number, for sure. One connection away from many other powerful people. And, so I just think it's really important whatever you're, whatever you're wanting to do in this life, you often think like, "Oh my God, I can never get that person to like, listen to me, if only this person knew what I was doing, I would have this." You probably have the literal connections in your contact list and then you just have them, to go put yourself in rooms.Brad Crowell 14:02  Well, I'm laughing here because at a completely different point in the conversation. You and Jessica talked about tips for getting first clients and slash the gift of gab, which is a perfect shoe in for...Lesley Logan 14:19  Oh, why don't you keep ... why don't you share about your favorite?Brad Crowell 14:21  Exactly, that's what literally what I'm saying. So, in that conversation, you were talking about tips for getting your first client / the gift to gab. So, it goes hand in hand with the power of putting yourself in the in a room with people you don't know. Where where, you know there is ... I love it because I do it, right. I meet people and that's on purpose. I was trained in how to do this. Okay, this was slash "innate." My mom is the person who like when we were leaving church would take 30 minutes to get out the door and my dad would be looking at her like, "You said we wanted to go and now I'm waiting on you." And you know, so I ... (Lesley: Same. My mom, same.) (Brad and Lesley laughs) So, I definitely learned that from my mom in that, like she says hi to everyone, she's got a conversation going with them that never ends. It's like, you know, weeks long running whatever. But that's friends and people that you know already and like, you know, you're chit-chatting with them whatever. But I was I was trained in how to meet people who I don't know, how to start a conversation with them and how to influence you know ... like when How to Win Friends and Influence People, right? So go read that book that's worth reading. But the point is, getting over yourself, getting over that fear of, "I don't know what to say..." It's not an easy thing and it just takes practice. And one of the best ways to get over that fear of meeting people is to put yourself in a room with people you don't know. (Lesley: Oh yeah) Right? So ...Lesley Logan 16:02  And I just have to say to my introverts out there, I'm just going to be really honest. If you're an introvert, it is important that you learn the skill of gapping with people I know, that's not where you get your energy. That is what bathroom stalls are for at these places. I definitely (Brad: Oh, you mean hiding.) Oh, yeah, I go to the bathroom a lot. (Brad and Lesley laughs) Not always to pee sometimes just to just take a few deep breaths and like regroup and then I go back out there. So, um shy and introvert are different things we talked about in a different episode. But like introvert, like if you get your energy from being by yourself, it is so important that you bootstrap yourself into these rooms, put yourself out there, talk to people have fun, and then go hide in the bathroom for five minutes. No one's gonna notice, I promise. No one is like, "That girl has been in the bathroom for five minutes." They are not, they are not pay attention to you as much as you think, and so ... (Brad: They're. What did you just say?) They're not gonna pay attention to you as much as you think they are. (Brad: Okay, gotcha.) So, so it's just really important that you have this and I, I got the gift of gab from my mama who's probably listening to this or she's watching on YouTube. She likes to watch us. She thinks it's fun. But she she would run into people three hours away from our house. We were in muumus in a mall once. So the gift of gab is important and it's helpful for not to tell your first client but we're all the things.Brad Crowell 17:25  Muumus in a mall once.Lesley Logan 17:26  Oh, my God. Y'all, 13 years old ...Brad Crowell 17:27  But you you referenced that. You already told the story.Lesley Logan 17:30  I know. Listen to the podcast episode. (Brad: Yeah) It's embarrassing.Brad Crowell 17:33  Okay, so okay, so, but the point is that, you know, you can talk to pe... you have to talk to people that you don't know, in order to find that first client or to make friends. It's like meeting people, you talk to them, right. So on a on a, you know, when you're on a mission to go meet someone new the big question mark is, "What do I talk about?" (Lesley: Oh, tell them) Yeah, I was gonna say, you can prepare yourself with some prompt questions. Okay. And there's, there's, there are many formulas for this, I use a formula called "FORM". F O R M stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Message, right. So, maybe your message is, "I'm a fitness instructor, or I'm a Pilates teacher or I'm a whatever." But you need to kind of get the conversation around to that. And you can, when you're like, when the conversation is weird and awkward and dies, you can use the prompts of family, occupation, recreation, in order to jumpstart the conversation again. So when it gets that weird isn't your like, that's awkward, you can be like, "So what do you do for work?" Or, you know ...Lesley Logan 18:41  What you do for fun?Brad Crowell 18:42  "Are you, are you from here?" Or like, "What do you do for fun?" Like just family occupation, recreation, and then message and allows you to just find a point of connection with that person so that you can then connect to why you're out there in the first place. And one of the things that Lesley used to do in LA, which is a great thing to do is, at a coffee shop in line talking to other people. She would say, you know, this is like the straight to the point of like, "Oh, yeah, I've just had five minutes between clients. I'm grabbing a coffee." Okay, now that you've just left a cliffhanger there for them to go, "What kind of clients?" So you can go, "I teach Pilates." Right.Lesley Logan 19:21  Also, I was in leggings and people are not in between clients and like, well, now they are with COVID but they weren't before. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah) So is a really good talking point. But yes, it's you got to just you have to like have these little things that like are ready for you. So, I hope let us know if you use the FORM. (Brad: Yeah) Family, Occupation. Well, I want to use that. (Brad laughs)Brad Crowell 19:42  Well, okay, so finally, let's talk about the Be It action items. What bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your conversation with Jessica Burgio? I'm going to jump right in on this one. And this is funny, because I feel like this clearly recurring theme here. (Lesley: You always find a way.) She ... Well, I didn't say it. She said, "You're always one person away from referrals." (Lesley: 100%) Okay. And actually what I thought was amazing is when we're coaching our fitness business clients on how do you meet, get new clients. Obviously, the first half of this episode is very relevant to that. But this is what she said that I that blew my mind. Because I don't know how I haven't thought of this before. She said, even if there's no one at the coffee shop, talk to the barista, (Lesley: oh, yeah) make friends with the girl behind the counter at the you know, the store, the the, the apparel store, right down the street, whatever. They will, that you have such a relation to them in that, you know, you're in it together. "I work across the street. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool." Well, we're clearly you know, working a similar lifestyle and the same hours, whatever, you know, what, however it is, but then, you know, she's gonna say, "Well, where do you work, I teach x, or I do this" or whatever it might be. And then what Jessica said, which I thought was brilliant, was she she said, "I got one of my first clients because someone said, at the coffee shop, 'Oh, I'm really tired of going to my gym class. I'm tired of it. And I'm kind of looking for something else.' And the barista said, 'Oh, you should talk to Jessica. Because, you know, whatever. And, you know, because she teaches, you know, whatever.'" (Lesley: Yeah) And, and so it was like this moment of, like, third party referral of someone who wasn't even in like, had never even taken a class. (Lesley: Yeah) Right. So, it was it's one of those opportunities where when other people around you, they want to be a) everyone loves to be the authority on something, and also want to be helpful for other people. And maybe they're not necessarily even thinking that they're helping out you by referring a client you way. They're showing that they're in authority by telling the person in front of them, "You should go talk to Lesley across the street, she teaches Pilates."Lesley Logan 22:08  100% this just happened to me. We went to that party, we wanted ourselves and we put ourselves in a room with people we don't know. And I met a girl who it will be a podcast guest soon owns a facial place that I love now. And somehow this random person on Instagram DM'd me that they're opening a store and I was like, "Oh, that's so fascinating," right? So of course, like I'm like, new to the community. I'm like, "Oh, another business owner and downtown. Like, this is awesome for me. I love I'm making new friends." Anyways. She asked someone to refer her to people who could promote her store, that someone is me, I now have an event at her store. I have never had never met her, we did a phone call and because of the referrals that was ...From the facial place, (Lesley: From the facial place) Right. Who also hasn't taken Pilates from you.Also hasn't taken Pilates from me. No. (Brad: Right) Nothing at all. (Brad: So) But because of that the two of us are now working together. (Brad: Yeah) It's based on that referral.Brad Crowell 23:07  Yeah, in fact, I believe she lent you clothes for a photoshoot (Lesley: She totally did.) And then you ended up buying some of those clothes 'cause you really liked them (Lesley: Yeah, I love them) You know so it's just as interesting connection that was put together by a third person. And now it's been really fun to get to know this, you know, wife and her family. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, because they're actually coincidentally there in our neighborhood. (Lesley: I know) I mean, it's so random.Lesley Logan 23:32  You are always one person away from referrals of any kind I don't care if you listen to this just for life or business. It's so good.Brad Crowell 23:38  Yeah, (Lesley: Okay) totally. Okay, so what about you?Lesley Logan 23:41  Alright. Done is better than perfect.Brad Crowell 23:43  Oh, really? I wasn't, I couldn't have bet money that you were gonna choose that one.Lesley Logan 23:47  Obviously. I had to pick this one (Brad laughs) Okay. So first of all, I have been following this mantra for a long time, because Gretchen Rubin wrote in one of her books years ago, we might have been on our honeymoon. And she said, "I would rather host the dinner party and in my messy apartment, then never host the perfect dinner party that I keep planning." (Brad: Hmm.) And I was like, "That's so true. That is so true." And then in our group, one of... because we've been time about messy action and done is better than perfect for so long... and in our group just last week, someone wrote this post, it's like a meme. That was like, "If something is worth doing well, it's also worth doing mediocre or like, partially well or not good. Because doing the thing is better than not doing the thing."Brad Crowell 24:35  You know, it's funny, I have said for years that I'm ambitiously lazy, and I would rather do it right the first time then have to come back and do it again.Lesley Logan 24:46  I know it's really annoying because you just ... (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 24:48  Well, it's a lie. I just, it's it's it's completely not true because I I there's there's almost there's very rarely an opportunity for me to get it done perfectly the first time through. It ends up especially in the startup world, you don't end up rolling out the finished product, you never do, it does not happen. (Lesley: No) You end up rolling out a version of it that you already know you're gonna make a second version of it, which you already know you're gonna make a third version of it. And what it comes down to is, how much do I get out the door to have a test case scenario so that people can give me feedback and then that might change my direction all... altogether. You know and and then that way you're providing something that they want. So, I love that, I love this "Done is better than perfect," because maybe done is just version one. And then you know, version two is going to have all the bells and whistles that you dreamt of the first time through, but you just need to get it out the door in the first place. So, I think it's great.Lesley Logan 25:48  I am obsessed with it. Y'all, please like put that on a mirror just so you get out the door because you're you're beautiful the way you are. What you're about to do is (Brad: Yeah) good enough ...Brad Crowell 25:58  Don't write it in a, don't write it in stencils and calligraphy. Use a lipstick. (Lesley: Lipstick) Done is better than perfect.Lesley Logan 26:06  Yeah. Alright, I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 26:09  My name is Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 26:11  Thank you so much for joining us today we are so freakin grateful for you. (Brad: Yeah) Y'all, this podcast is taking off because of you. I'm so ... I'm like ...Brad Crowell 26:20  Thanks for sharing it with your friends and family. (Lesley: Yeah) Keep doing that (Lesley: Keep doing it.)Lesley Logan 26:24  So tell us how you're using these tips in your life. We want to hear about it, screenshot it. Put your takeaway, tag @be_it_pod. Let us know and you can also send us a DM on to the pod on Instagram ...Brad Crowell 26:36  Yeah and the producer of the show said that you should subscribe to our YouTube channel the Be It YouTube channel. (Lesley: Oh) YeahLesley Logan 26:44  Is that you?Brad Crowell 26:44  The producer is me. Yeah. So (Brad and Lesley laughs)Lesley Logan 26:47  Yeah. You can subscribe but you can watch these actually filmed them there on YouTube. You can subscribe, follow us ...Brad Crowell 26:53   This damn producers making us plug things.Lesley Logan 26:55  On every place that offers podcasts all the freakin' places that offer podcast. (Brad: Yeah, subscribe) Feel free to subscribe, automatically download. (Brad: Yeah) It's like frickin telling us you love us every single time. (Brad: Oh, yeah) Alright. We'll catch you on the next episode, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 27:10  Bye now.Lesley Logan 27:13  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 27:45  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 27:52  Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.Brad Crowell 27:58  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 28:07  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.Brad Crowell 28:18  And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on poSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy