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Our guest this time, Bill Eddy, is a family mediator, lawyer and therapist, and the Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He received his bachelor's degree in Psychology, but didn't stop there. As you will read, he went on to learn and work in the therapy space for a number of years, but his longing to deal with some other issues caused him to study law and after receiving his Juris Prudence degree he worked in the law as a mediator. While doing this he also felt it relevant and appropriate to begin working on ways to address conflicts between persons. He realized that conflict often meant that someone was bullying another person.   Bill and I spend much time discussing bullying, where it comes from, how and why people become bullies and how to deal with bullying kinds of behavior. Our discussions are fascinating and I quite believe important for everyone to hear.   Just last month Bill's latest book, “Our New World of Adult Bullies” was released. Bill discusses his book and why we are encountering more bullying behavior today than we have experienced in the past.   Enough from me. I hope you find my conversation with Bill Eddy relevant, useful and, of course, entertaining.       About the Guest:   Bill Eddy is a family mediator, lawyer and therapist, and the Chief Innovation Office of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He has provided training to mediators, lawyers, judges, mental health professionals and others on the subject of managing high-conflict personalities in over 35 states, 9 provinces in Canada, and twelve other countries.   As a lawyer, Mr. Eddy was a Certified Family Law Specialist (CFLS) in California for 15 years, where he represented clients in family court. Prior to that, he provided psychotherapy for 12 years to children and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). Throughout his forty-year career he has provided divorce mediation services, including the past 15 years as the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California. Mr. Eddy is the author of several books, including: · Mediating High Conflict Disputes · High Conflict People in Legal Disputes · Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder · Calming Upset People with EAR · BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People · BIFF for CoParent Communication · BIFF at Work · BIFF for Lawyers and Law Offices · So, What's Your Proposal: Shifting High Conflict People From Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds · Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce   He has a continuing education course for Mental Health professionals titled “It's All Your Fault!”: Working with High Conflict Personalities. He has a Psychology Today blog about high conflict personality disorders with over 6 million views. He has a podcast titled “It's All Your Fault” which he does weekly with Megan Hunter.   He taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law for six years. He has served on the part-time faculty of the National Judicial College in the United States and has provided several trainings for judges in Canada for the National Judicial Institute. He is currently on the part-time faculty at the Straus Institute of Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law teaching Psychology of Conflict Communication each year. He teaches once a year on Advanced Communication Skills as Conjoint Associate Professor at Newcastle Law School in Newcastle, Australia.   He is the developer of the New Ways for Families® method for potentially high-conflict families, which is being implemented in several family court systems in the United States and Canada, as well as an online co-parenting course (Parenting Without Conflict by New Ways for Families). He is also the developer of the New Ways for Mediation® method, which emphasizes more structure by the mediator and simple negotiation skills for the parties. He obtained his JD law degree in 1992 from the University of San Diego, a Master of Social Work degree in 1981 from San Diego State University, and a Bachelors degree in Psychology in 1970 from Case Western Reserve University. His website is: www.HighConflictInstitute.com.   Ways to connect with Bill:   www.HighConflictInstitute.com.   About the Host:   Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset .   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.       Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 And welcome to another episode of unstoppable mindset where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Today, we get to deal mostly with the unexpected, because inclusion is what it is, diversity is what it is, and those we put in the order that we do, because in the typical sense of the word diversity, doesn't intend to include disabilities or any discussion of disabilities. And people say, well, disability means lack of ability when they're talking about any of that anyway. And the reality is that's not true. Disability should not mean a lack of ability. And people say, Well, it does, because it starts with dis Well, what about disciple? Yeah, what about disciple? What about discern? What about, you know, so many other kinds of things. The reality is that everyone has a disability, and we could talk about that, but that's not what we're here to do today. We're here to talk to Bill Eddy, who has written a number of books. He's got a degree in psychology, he's got degrees in law, and I'm not going to go and give all that away, because I'd rather he do it. But we also get to be excited by the fact that he has a new book, and we'll talk about it a bunch. It's called our new world of adult bullies. Um, that's what I say about my cat all the time, because she does run the house and, you know, and we can mention that name, Bill, it's stitch. Now, she's a great kitty, but she she does have her mindset on what she wants, so she's trained us well. Well, welcome to unstoppable mindset. Bill, how are you?   Bill Eddy ** 02:57 I'm good, and thanks so much for having me on. Michael, glad to be with you.   Michael Hingson ** 03:01 Well, we're glad you're here and looking forward to it. Why don't we start, as I love to do so often, why don't you tell us about kind of the early build, growing up, or any of those kinds of things to lead us into where we go?   Bill Eddy ** 03:14 Well, I was one of four kids, and as I mentioned in the introduction of the book in third grade, I had my own personal bully. He decided I was the guy he wanted to pick on and fight. And I think he figured that out because my parents didn't allow us kids to fight, so we weren't allowed to fight back. And you know, my parents said, you know, if takes two to make a fight, so if a fight starting, just walk away. And I said, what if the other person won't let you walk away? So we'll find a way to walk away. So for most of third grade, he harassed me and would catch me after school and hit me and kick me in the the foot of the stairway. We had a basement classroom, and there was a stairway out from there so no one could see and it wasn't easy to get away from but mostly I figured out how to avoid him, and also how to how to help the older kids with their homework, so they'd be more of a protector for me. So that's early childhood, but I think it influenced my my choice as an adult, you know, a psychology major, and then I got a master's in social work to do child and family counseling. Did that 12 years, but I liked resolving conflicts, and decided to go to law school and all of that primarily so I could practice mediation to help people solve conflicts. But many of the conflicts I've dealt with had bullies in them, so I started studying these personalities, and that kind of brings me up to today.   Michael Hingson ** 04:58 Wow. Well, you have certainly written, also a number of books. I was reading your list of books, and you have one on divorce, and clearly there are bullies there, and a lot of places, I'm sure, and you have just a number of books, and I can see where the whole concept of having bullies can be in all of those and at the same time, most of us haven't learned how to deal with bullies. We haven't learned how to address the issue of avoidance, which is what you talked about, but it makes perfect sense. I don't particularly like bullies. I've not been bullied a lot, I think I was a couple of times in grammar school, and a kid hit me a couple of times, and I can only assume that it was sort of a bullish oriented thing, but I don't really recall that anything ever happened other than that. It only happened like once or twice, and then I was left alone. But still, there is so much of it, and there's been bullying to a degree for well, as long as we've had people, I guess, right, and this whole idea of avoiding it is obviously what we need to do, although I guess the other part about it that comes to mind is, how do you get the bully to change their mindset and recognize that that's not the best productive use of their time? Well,   Bill Eddy ** 06:30 what's interesting is childhood bullies mostly do figure that out. And I'd say probably 90% of childhood bullies don't become adult bullies that, you know, somebody punches them in the nose, or nobody wants to be their friend, or they get in trouble at home or at school, and they learn that that doesn't work, but maybe 10% get away with it. Maybe they're encouraged, you know, maybe their parents laugh when they bully other people, and that's that's the ones that become the adult bullies. But what I find, and the Institute I work with, high conflict Institute, we do a lot of training, a lot of coaching, and we we teach people like for workplace coaching to to try to give bullies some conflict resolution skills so that they won't be bullies, so they can solve problems others other ways, and we find maybe half of the bullies can improve their behavior enough to keep the job, and About half quit or are told they need to leave. So I'd say about half of bullies can learn to stop that behavior or rein it in, and about half can't. That's just a real rough estimate from my personal observation.   Michael Hingson ** 07:55 The ones that can't or don't, is it that they get so much satisfaction from bullying and they get away with it that just they just don't see the value of it. Or is it different than that? Well, I   Bill Eddy ** 08:08 think it's not as logical as that. I think it has a lot to do with personality patterns, and the ones that are adult bullies usually have personality patterns that border on personality disorders, especially the Cluster B personality disorders, which are narcissistic, anti social, borderline and histrionic. So it's part of who they are. They're not really even thinking about it. This is just how they operate in the world. And so if they're not stopped, they just automatically do this. If they are stopped or told they're going to lose their job, maybe half of them can rein in their behavior, and maybe the other calf can't, even if they want to, they just can't stop themselves. But mostly it's more or less automatic. Is what I see. They really lack self reflection, and therefore, generally don't change. And one of the definitions of personality disorders is an enduring pattern of behavior, so it's not, not likely to change because they had an insight. Because if they were going to have an insight like that, they would have had it before they became adults.   Michael Hingson ** 09:29 Yeah, and it, and it just doesn't seem to happen. And it is, it is so unfortunate that we even have to talk about this kind of a subject. But it's also very important that we understand it, because I think those of us who aren't bullied or who aren't bullies, still need to understand it's like anything else, still need to understand it in order to learn how to deal with it. I would think,   Bill Eddy ** 09:55 yeah, and I think part of why this. Is coming up now is traditionally in our society. And I know my whole lifetime, adult bullies were pretty much kept on the fringe, and so families said, Hey, you can't do that in our family and communities and schools and and workplaces said that. But what's interesting now is, I'd say, the last 20 years or so, is bullies are getting center stage because all of our media competition, especially the screens we have, are trying to show us the worst behavior so that we'll pay attention to them. So social media, cable 24/7, news, movies, TV shows are all showing bad behavior to grab our attention, but the result of this is that they're teaching bad behavior and tolerating it and giving permission to bullies to act out when they might have kind of restrained themselves in the past.   Michael Hingson ** 11:07 How do we get media, television and so on to change that? I've I've kind of felt that way for a while. I actually took a course in college, um, it was called Why police, which is a fascinating course. It was taught by not a deputy sheriff, but he was a volunteer deputy sheriff in Orange County. He was an engineering professor at UC Irvine, where I went to school, and he and he taught this course, and I made the observation once in class, that a lot of the negativity that we see really comes from what we experience on television. And he said, no, that's just not true, but it certainly is true. Well,   Bill Eddy ** 11:49 especially nowadays, especially nowadays, yeah, yeah. Maybe that wasn't true 30 years ago, but it seems very much true now. Yeah, and you mentioned a study in the beginning of, I think it's chapter two of the book that about it was a workplace study, and if I can quote it, I think this is helpful for this discussion. He says they said there's a 2021, workplace bullying Institute survey. So in the second year of the pandemic, he says 58% of the respondents on the survey agreed that quotes the display of bullying, disrespect and intolerance of the opinions of others by politicians and public figures affected workplaces because they encouraged aggression and granted permission to ignore the rules. And I think it's very direct that the media does impact family life, workplace community and online, for sure.   Michael Hingson ** 13:00 Yeah, yeah, I, I would agree. And, you know, today, and we're not going to talk about specific individuals, but at the same time today, I dare say, there are a number of people who step back and contemplate this whole concept of bullies and so on, who would agree that in the political world there? Well, there are a number, but there's one especially, who tends to be more of a bully. But I would say that there are a number of people in the political world who just want to force their own way, and tend to bully a lot.   Bill Eddy ** 13:34 And I totally agree with you. Even have a chapter on what I call the high emotion media, because it's the emotions, the disrespect, the insulting statements, the personal attacks, you know, I don't like the way you look, or I think you're crazy or you're an idiot, and that kind of message, and If you have that going back and forth between politicians. It's very exciting to watch, but it's not the way you want to live, like you wouldn't want to be in a relationship like that, no, and so. So the media image promotes that because it gets attention. It really grabs attention. And I would I would suggest that it's been over the last 30 years approximately, that politics has become more about entertainment than about government. And the values of entertainment are extreme behavior and disrespect and fighting and chaos and crisis and fear, whereas government is when it's running well is boring, is focused on details, focused on people getting along, having their share of responsibility, all of that kind of stuff. So we've turned the. Values of politics upside down, and we think now that's the way. That's what politics is. And it's unfortunate, because government will unravel if we use the entertainment values to govern the country. Of course,   Michael Hingson ** 15:16 there are a number of people, especially in the media, who would say, but all of this sells, newspapers, all of this sells, and that's why we do it. I I submit that that's not necessarily so. But how do you show people that? Yeah, this sells, but don't you think there are other kinds of things that would sell even more   Bill Eddy ** 15:42 well, it's tricky, but one of my goals in writing the book is to teach people self help skills, to monitor their absorption of high emotion media and to be able to set limits on it. Like I don't like to get more than half an hour of news from a screen. I like reading the papers and reading different points of view. And if you watch more than half an hour and you get this coming in your ears and your eyes and all of that, it just takes over your thinking. And actually, the more repetition there is, the more things feel true that are clearly not true, but the way our brains work, repetition tells us what's really true and what's really important. And TV, even radio, can bombard us with false information that starts to feel true because we get so much of it.   Michael Hingson ** 16:40 Yeah, it's it is someone, yes, I hear you, and it's so unfortunate that more people don't tend to be analytical, reflecting introspective. You know, we talked earlier about the book that I'm writing, live like a guide dog, that will be published in August of this year. And one of the things that I point out in the book, for people who want to start to learn to control fear, rather than letting it, as I say, blind you or overwhelm you, or whatever word you want to use, is you need to become more introspective and look at well, why am I afraid of this? Why am I reacting to this? How do I deal with it? And it doesn't take a lot of time every day to do it, but if you do it for a little bit of time every day, the Mind Muscle develops, and you get beyond a lot of that.   Bill Eddy ** 17:34 I think that's a very important point, as we can train ourselves to what to pay attention to, what to ignore, and we can train our self talk like you're saying. That's excellent,   Michael Hingson ** 17:46 yeah, and I think it's it's all about analyzing ourselves. And something that I learned, and I've talked about it a few times on this podcast, one of the things that I did when I was a program director at the campus radio station at UC Irvine, Zot, K, U, C, I was that I would ask people to listen to their shows. So when I was the program director, we would actually record people talking, and I insisted that they take the cassettes home. Remember cassettes? Boy, is that a long time ago,   Bill Eddy ** 18:19 two, wow, back aways, yeah, even   Michael Hingson ** 18:23 pre eight track, but take the cassettes home. Listen to them, because it's something that I did and and as I grew older and became a public speaker, after September 11, I recorded my talk so that I could listen to them. And I said, I do that because I'm my own worst critic. I'm going to be more hard on me than anyone will. And it took until even after the pandemic started, that I finally learned wrong way to look at it. I'm not my own worst critic. I'm my own best teacher. By analyzing and thinking about it and recognizing that I'm my own best teacher, because no one can really teach me anything. They can present me with the information, but I have to teach myself to learn it. So I realize that, and I'm my own best teacher, and I think that works out really well, and it's a lot more positive anyway,   Bill Eddy ** 19:18 right? Great. And that's that's that promotes lifelong learning. I just reading an article about how a lot of people, you know, after a certain amount of time, they feel okay. I got my career, I've done my skills, and now I'm going to kick back. But Lifetime Learning is where it's at. I think it's exciting. It   Michael Hingson ** 19:39 is. I consider life an adventure. I consider the internet a treasure trove of information. And yeah, there's a dark web and and all that. And now, of course, we have AI, and some people want to be negative about that, but if we use it right, and if we develop our own inner structure and. And recognize the value and how to use it. It is, and all of those are characteristics and features that can do nothing but help us.   Bill Eddy ** 20:10 Yeah, they're tools. I like the idea of tools, not rules, so we'll see what we can do with them. But as long as humans are in charge, I think we may be okay. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 20:25 I hope so. Um, Mark Twain once said, I wonder if God had been a man because he was disappointed in the monkeys. But who knows.   Bill Eddy ** 20:35 He wasn't. He was a brilliant guy. He was   Michael Hingson ** 20:39 one of my two favorite people, Mark Twain and Will Rogers, boy. They were very clever. And analysts, you had it figured out. They did, if only we would listen. Well, why did you write the book?   Bill Eddy ** 20:53 Well, I wrote it. I started writing it. The end of 2020, when the pandemic was going strong, and a lot of people, and we were all kind of holed up at home. I had more time to think, because I couldn't travel and teach and do the work I do. But I also, you know, on TV, there was, you know, the the arguments in bullying, frankly, about masks, about vaccines, about the George Floyd murder, about protests against the George Floyd murder, that that it seemed like the country was kind of in a 5050, state of bullying each other, but it wasn't. The number of bullies is actually quite small, but they're getting a high profile, and I wanted to explain that bullies at all levels have the same patterns of behavior, and few people have eye into the workings of families like I've had as a family therapist, as a family mediator and as a Family Lawyer, and few people have had, you know, awareness of workplace bullying like I have training human resources and employee assistance personnel. Likewise, neighbor disputes, because I'd be consulting on a lot of neighbor disputes, and certainly online disputes. So bullying seemed to be happening in all these different places, but most people didn't realize the extent of it, because people kept it private. And I was like, Well, I can see it's the same patterns. And then, you know, Putin invades Ukraine, and I'm going, this guy is like a domestic violence perpetrator. He has the same lack of self awareness and the same blaming personality and so I included on up to politicians and international relations to show I can tell you what the patterns are to look for. So look out for bullies. Don't let them into your life. Spot them and stop them. And I wanted, I wanted the book to really open people's eyes, so to speak to what's going on in the world today that they really haven't been aware of by and large,   Michael Hingson ** 23:13 right? What makes us, especially as adults, susceptible to being bullied?   Bill Eddy ** 23:23 Well, we're not prepared for them, and that's a lot of what I hope to do with the book is help people be prepared so they don't overreact or under react. But I'd say most people are just kind of shocked. Suddenly there's a bully in the office and they're yelling at somebody, and it's like, oh my goodness, I'm, I'm I'm freezing because, you know, I don't know what to do. They're yelling at somebody else, thank goodness, but I'm scared too, or they're yelling at me, and I freeze because I don't know what to do. So I think what happens is people are just really unprepared. On the other hand, most people are nice people. Let's say 80% of people are nice people. They don't like to interrupt people, even when they're masking saying nasty comments. They don't like to just walk away from a conversation, even if the conversation is really hurtful and abusive, and so people aren't used to being assertive against a bully, because they're used to everybody being reasonable, and so that's why they catch us by surprise and And we're not ready for them.   Michael Hingson ** 24:39 I subscribe to a service out here called next door, which is also in San Diego, and it's a way to really keep up with what's going on in the community. And I've seen a number of posts where something happened and people suddenly say. I'm surprised that never happens in this area, and that just isn't true anymore,   Bill Eddy ** 25:08 right, anywhere, anywhere,   Michael Hingson ** 25:13 and it's so unfortunate that we don't learn to look out for all of this. I think, yeah, go   Bill Eddy ** 25:23 ahead. I just gonna say, I think that's that's what has to change, is we do have to be aware, not paranoid about it around every corner, but aware that this is going to come your way. I like to say, I think everyone's going to have a bully in their life sooner rather than later, but if you're prepared and you manage it well, they're not going to get very deep into your life and will probably move on. So I do think that's coming. Sorry. I interrupted. No,   Michael Hingson ** 25:54 no, no, no, no, you did No, you were right. Tell me what are some of the warning signs that you're dealing with a bully?   Bill Eddy ** 26:00 Well, first of all that the person goes beyond the normal social boundaries and keep going like they don't stop themselves. So an unrestrained pattern of behavior. When you start thinking to yourself, Well, I'm sure he'll come to his senses soon, or I'm sure she'll realize how destructive she's being. The problem is the answer that is not necessarily, probably not. Another way that's really quite simple is when a bully starts, when a person starts criticizing your intelligence, your morals, your sanity, your appearance, your existence. When they make it personal is a real sign they've crossed the line, and now you're dealing with a bully. Because bullies make it personal. They want a one down relationship. They want you to they want to dominate you. And so that's one of the easiest ways to recognize, is the way they talk to you, talking down to you like that. And they may say that you're you're being obnoxious and you have a problem. And they might even say, Stop bullying me. Stop bullying me, Bill, and I'm not bullying them. I'm saying they need to stop what they're doing with me, and they'll say, You're the bully. So playing the victim is another way projecting what they're doing onto the other person, like, stop bullying me. Bill, I'm not bullying you. I'm setting limits on your bullying of me. Well, I would never bully you, Bill. And then they keep projecting what they're doing onto me, and they may point to other people around us and say, See how Bill's treating me, you know, and they play the victim. And next thing you know, the whole people around think that I'm being a bad guy, and they get away with it that way because they're really good at projection and good at playing the victim. So these are some of the patterns. How do   Michael Hingson ** 28:10 you deal with that, though? Well, you   Bill Eddy ** 28:14 first of all need to be taken assertive approach, so don't become aggressive and start yelling at them. No, you really are bullying me. You're a real jerk. Instead, you say that's not true. And if other people are around, you say, just, everybody know it's not true. I'm trying to set limits on his behavior towards me, because he's really harassing me. And so explain what's happening. Be assertive, so you stick up for yourself, but don't be aggressive, because now it looks like you are being the bully. And some some people asked me on one of the interviews I had, the guy said, at what point do you punch the bully in the nose? And I said, Well, you're going to have that thought, but don't act on it, because when you do that, now you look like the bully. So you don't want to be aggressive, but you don't want to be passive and let them just pick on you and run you into the ground. You want to say, Hey, that's not okay, or I'm going to end this conversation. So you assert yourself to protect yourself without trying to harm the other person, and that's what assertive is. So I really recommend the assertive approach.   Michael Hingson ** 29:33 And again, it gets back to you have to learn to understand and assess yourself and develop the tools that will allow you to do that   Bill Eddy ** 29:46 exactly and and strengthen yourself where you're not experienced or not skilled, and learn the skills to protect yourself. I think it's you know, all of us. Most of us grew up maintaining ourselves, not being too extreme, and yet sticking up for ourselves and being self managed. But bullies aren't self managed, so we're going to have to manage them for them. And so that's the new age we're in. The new world we're in is we need skills to manage bullies, and we can develop those, and that's part of what I talk about at the end of the book. The last chapter is a lot of skills that people can learn to manage bullies and protect themselves.   Michael Hingson ** 30:38 Well, how did you you've talked about a little bit, but I'd love to to learn a little bit more about how did you really end up deciding that this was a calling that you had to deal with and that you've devoted so much time to? I think it really   Bill Eddy ** 30:54 got started as a as a workplace endeavor when I went from being a therapist to being a lawyer, so I wanted to do mediation and conflict resolution, and went to law school, and when I started practicing law after 12 years as a therapist, including in psychiatric hospitals, I started seeing the same behavior in family court. You know there be mom and dad are fighting over custody of their child, and the judge is listening to their arguments and looking frustrated. And I'm going, Well, the problem here is one of the parents probably has a personality disorder, and so they're not really being that sensitive to the child and and the other parent seems to be pretty reasonable, but you don't know, sometimes people that look reasonable might be like anti social under the surface. And so I started noticing and paying attention to these behavior patterns and how they showed up as high conflict families, and that's the term that the courts were using high conflict families. So I started saying, You shouldn't talk about high conflict families. Should talk about high conflict personalities, because not everybody in the family necessarily has that. Maybe it's Mom, maybe it's dad, like, say, a domestic violence case, dad might have a borderline personality or an anti social personality, and that's driving his violent behavior, and yet he's conning the court by saying, look at her, she's a mess, and everything I'm doing is just fine. I'm the reasonable person here, but they're not behind the scenes, and so there'd be these patterns of behavior, and I said, courts got to figure this stuff out, otherwise you're punishing the victim of a domestic violence perpetrator unfairly and unhelpfully, and you're teaching the child that this behavior is acceptable. So I had all this information that I knew from having been, you know, a therapist, a licensed clinical social worker, and I found myself applying it to family court cases, and wanting to educate other lawyers, judges, mediators and therapists about these dynamics in family court. And that's when I started writing about high conflict personalities and eventually talking more about bullies who are the most high conflict personalities. So that's kind of how that evolved. That was 1993 is when I became I started practicing family law after 12 years as a therapist. And so that's when this stuff really opened my eyes, to wait a minute, people don't realize what they're dealing with, and they're not going to solve this with a child support order. They're going to have to, you know, get somebody some treatment or understand that there's these personalities driving behavior, rather than legal issues   Michael Hingson ** 34:20 you have developed, I think, or have begun creating, something called the new ways for families. Method, Yes, uh huh. Tell me about that. I read that in your bio, and that sounded pretty fascinating, yeah,   Bill Eddy ** 34:35 and I'm pretty proud of it. So we started high conflict Institute in 2008 myself and a colleague, Megan Hunter, and we wanted to educate family law professionals, but we also wanted to help parents in high conflict, divorces and custody disputes. And so I developed a counseling method. A specific to divorcing parents with disputes over their children. And I, I was speaking at a conference of judges, and they said, What kind of counseling order should we make for these high conflict families to get them out of court and settling down, and they said, Well, you can't do the traditional counseling where you say talk about your feelings, because people with high conflict personalities will talk about their feelings forever without changing anything. So you want them to learn new ways of doing things. And so we decided we're going to call the method new ways for families and six counseling sessions focused on learning four big skills, flexible thinking, managed emotions, moderate behavior and checking yourself rather than being busy checking everybody else. And so we we got that the judges to start ordering that, and we said, order both parents to learn these skills so you don't picking a bad guy. It's going to help both parents, whoever's you know, maybe it's a domestic violence case, they get domestic violence treatment, but also learn these skills so they can work together. Cases where a child resists being with the other parent because of one parent bad mathing the other parent interfering, what they call alienation, or parental alienation. So all of these could be benefited by this counseling approach. Short term, six individual sessions, three parent child sessions for each parent, and we started seeing cases stay out of court that used to keep coming back. We saw people calming down. The judges really liked that. We created an online class to teach those same skills in 12 sessions. Then we developed coaching, three coaching sessions with the online class to make to give a chance to practice, but keep the cost down, because just three sessions, and so that's that's been evolving since 2009 so for the last 15 years, and we estimate about eight or 9000 parents have gone through learning these skills, some better than others, but enough that the judges think they're worthwhile, and they keep ordering this. But this is it depends on where there's trained counselors or coaches to get the more intensive approach. But the online class is available anywhere worldwide, so judges sometimes just order that from, you know, maybe they're in Utah or something. And there's no counselors that we've trained there yet. They can always order the online class. And I think they actually are, because I spoke in Utah a month ago about this. So that's that's the method, and I feel pretty proud of it. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 38:18 it it's understandable, and I can appreciate why you're why you're excited about doing it, and that it's that it's clearly working. What are some really good examples of how successful the whole method and the whole process has been? You have some good stories about it.   Bill Eddy ** 38:40 Yeah. So one of my favorite examples, it's a case where a 15 year old girl refused to see her father after the divorce, and it seemed like a case where mom had been saying enough negative things, the girl absorbed that and then said, I don't want to see dad, and mom tolerated that, but of course, dad didn't. So took mom to court and told the judge, Mom's doing something to make the girl not come. So rather than deciding that mom's all bad, the judge said, well, then I want to order new ways for families, and that's six individual counseling sessions and three parent child sessions, so judge orders that and each of the parents goes through six counseling sessions with a workbook, so it focuses them on learning particular skills, to manage their emotions, To keep their thinking flexible, to moderate their behavior, like we teach them how to write emails so that they're reasonable instead of escalating conflict. And so they both went through that individual then it's time for the parent child sessions, and since Mom was the favorite parent. Parent, we had the parent child counselor meet with mom and the child first, and Mom taught the girl about flexible thinking, managed emotions, moderate behavior and checking yourself, and then prepared the girl with the counselor for the next week when she's going to meet with dad and so who she hasn't seen for a year and says she hates him, but there's no real, clear reason for that, and that's why it might be alienation. It might be the bad mouthing that got absorbed by the girl. So the next week, mom brings the girl to the counseling center, and girl agrees to go in and meets dad and the counselor and sits down, and the girl tells dad that he's a horrible person. He's ruined her life. He's done everything wrong and just this whole list of awfuls. And because he's been through the counseling method, he listens quietly and attentively, and then he says, Thank you. And she says, What do you mean? Thank you. I just said, you're a terrible person. And he says, I said, Thank you. Because I'm glad that we're talking. I think this is good. This is good for us to be talking. Is there more that you want to tell me, and I guess there was some more. And then basically they reconciled and agreed that they would have dinner together once a week. Now it wasn't a 5050, parenting plan like he would have preferred, but, and I don't know where it went from there, but he did have regular dinners with her, and they communicated. So it reconnected their relationship, and so it gave a structure for that to happen in, and that's what new ways for families does not every case where someone a child resists a parent has worked with new ways for families that, you know, one parent has found a way to sabotage it and block it, but by and large, we've had, had some, some good success with moderate cases like that.   Michael Hingson ** 42:16 Yeah, well, one of the questions that comes to mind, as you've talked about, excuse me, high conflict personalities. Is that something that can actually be fixed? Can people get over having to always be in conflict like that? It   Bill Eddy ** 42:36 really depends, I think, a lot, on which of the personalities. So I think I mentioned Cluster B personality disorders, borderline, narcissistic, anti social, histrionic. So borderline personality disorder, people are hearing more about that, where they have wide mood swings, sudden, intense anger, fear of abandonment, all of that. And this used to be thought of as primarily women, but it's now seen as probably about half and half. And men who are physically abusive often have this personality style, and they strike out because they're afraid they're losing their partner, which of course, makes their partner want to leave a little bit more, but that's one of the more treatable personalities. And there's a method called DBT dialectical behavior therapy, which is having some good success at treating people with borderline personality disorder. So there's that at the other extreme is anti social personality disorder, which is the hardest one to treat, and I don't know of a consistently successful method that treats and that's like maybe 40% of prisoners have that personality, they get out of prison and they commit another crime, been back back in prison, they have a pattern of behavior, which is what a personality disorder is, is it's a stuck pattern of behavior, just enduring and repeating and all of that. So I would say people with that personality is extremely unlikely they're going to change. But people with borderline, there is hope for and many people outgrow the diagnosis after going through DBT. So that's the most hopeful and the least hopeful range. Narcissists and histrionics are somewhere in the middle of that? Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 44:44 well, something that comes to mind, I kind of think I know the answer, but it's still a question worth asking. Colleges and universities are made up of lots of people who are studying supposed to be pretty intelligent and so on, but we have bullies there. Why? You.   Bill Eddy ** 44:59 I think because we have them everywhere. So if, say 10% five to 10% of people are bullies, I think you're going to see them in colleges. Has nothing to do with intelligence. They may be brilliant bullies and very not smart bullies. So the whole range of severity exists. I think that college and other organizations like so, higher education, health care, churches, synagogues, mosques, that these are welcoming communities. These are helping communities. And so bullies get away with more in these kinds of communities because everybody's trying to be nice and bending over backwards to give them another chance. And so not to say they shouldn't get another chance, but they shouldn't get another chance and another chance and another chance and another chance. That's the thing I preach against. You give somebody a chance. If it the same problem comes up twice, what is it? Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me. I got to do something if it's happening again, because that means it's a pattern, and especially if there was consequences for the first time and they still did it again, that's a sign this may be behavior that's going to be resistant to change   Michael Hingson ** 46:37 well, and that makes perfect sense. It's kind of where I thought you'd probably go with it, but it does make perfect sense. And there, as you've said, there are bullies everywhere. And the reality is we're, we're going to find that there are just some people who are going to be bullies.   Bill Eddy ** 46:58 I think that's the answer that it's kind of sad to come to that conclusion, but it's also enlightening, because then, you know, you can't just change them. This pattern is so stuck, so persistent, they have to have a different approach. You can't talk them out of it. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 47:20 and there's something to be said for love, but at the same time, you need to learn to control you and your situations. And   Bill Eddy ** 47:31 yeah, it's kind of the tough love concept.   Michael Hingson ** 47:37 What do you do if your supervisor is a bully? We talked a little bit about bullies in the office and so on. But what if it's your boss who is the bully?   Bill Eddy ** 47:46 I think that you know, to some extent, if you can be assertive and say, you know, boss, you just gave me three assignments that are all due on Friday, and realistically, I can only get one of them done. Which one is the priority that you kind of assert yourself without trying to dominate your boss or alienate your boss. So you say something like, you know, can you give me some guidance here with these three projects, I can only get one done. Maybe someone else could help with another. So speaking up, presenting options, and say, you know that's one possibility. Another is you could give me overtime, and I'm willing to stay late if there's overtime. What? Whatever you may be able to speak up to some extent. But what we get a lot of our consultations are people that it's way beyond that the boss is just really out to get them, maybe trying to push them out of the team. And so we talk about who else you can go to, and it may be HR, it may be another department head. One of the things I say is make sure you start talking to somebody, maybe a friend, family member, so you're not just stewing in the fact that you're being bullied because people's self esteem just really goes down if they don't feel safe to talk to anybody. You talk to somebody and they say, oh, yeah, that happened to me once. That's terrible. You know, you shouldn't have to go through that. Let's talk about what you can do well that helps people feel a whole lot better, that there isn't something about them that makes them be the target of a bully. A lot of people think, you know, what did I do to cause this? And you didn't do anything. Bullies pick on everybody, but they keep picking on the people that let them,   Michael Hingson ** 49:52 and that's the real key, isn't it? It's all about you let them do it. You don't find ways to deal with. The issue, and the result is they're going to continue to do it, because they can   Bill Eddy ** 50:04 Right exactly. And people get depressed. They get stomach aches, headaches, they can't sleep, they avoid coming into work, they get disciplined, they get in trouble themselves. And that's a lot of why I wrote the book to help people know, you know, no one deserves to be bullied. This is wrong. This shouldn't be happening to you. Now look at what your choices are, what your options are.   Michael Hingson ** 50:32 We have an ever increasing number of startup companies in in the world, and more entrepreneurs or starting their own companies and so on. And so why is it that a lot of startups have a high powered innovator, or someone at the top like that, who is a bully?   Bill Eddy ** 50:54 It seems to be that the personality of entrepreneurs that go getter startup includes a lot of the ingredients of personalities, of bullies. So first of all, believing that your ideas are superior, that no matter what other people think you should keep going, that you're smarter than all of them. Don't stop because the first two people said this was a dumb idea, and so they kind of have some insulation against that, that they're willing to persist, you know, I know this is a good idea, but they can also be aggressive. So they're out there approaching, you know, venture capitalists and and people to endorse them, people to do what they say, people to give them a lot of money so they have. They're skilled at presenting their ideas aggressively and probably an exaggerated belief in themselves. But that seems to work in the startup business, people are persuaded by charm and intelligence and go, Oh, this guy just seems really brilliant. Well, that's because he told you he's brilliant. He's actually a bully. And there are stories like that, like what we saw, and I talk about it in my book with Theranos, the blood draw sis and it really wasn't what it was made out to be. It was a brilliant idea, but they couldn't implement it, but they pretended that they could, and so they got lots of money, lots of respect, write ups in the big magazines. Elizabeth Holmes was seen as the next Steve Jobs. She lowered her voice. She was a con artist. She may have believed in her product, but she was willing to bend so many rules that she ended up going to prison. But entrepreneurs have that drive and that persuasion and persistence and aggressiveness, and that works with getting a startup going, but it often doesn't work with maintaining a company and an organization. And I spoke to investors for startups, mostly healthcare startups and and they said, we've got a lot of bullies here. What? What do we do? We gave them some tools and tips for how to manage, you know, soothe their ego by setting limits on them and and to spot them sooner and decide, can should we invest with this person, or are they over the top? So it's a it's a particular field where having having an almost bully personality is successful, but having a bully personality eventually blows up. So   Michael Hingson ** 53:57 since you mentioned him, just out of curiosity was Steve Jobs a bully.   Bill Eddy ** 54:01 I think he was, and I think he was successful because of his management team, because they did, in fact, learn how to set limits on him and rein in his worst behaviors. Because, like, There's one story, and I think I have it in the book, where he was going to fire a division of 200 people because the project wasn't coming along fast enough. And so he's like, I'm going to fire them. They're useless, they're idiots, they're terrible. And someone on the management team says, Hey, Steve, let's go for a walk. Let's go for a walk, because he liked to go for walks and talks. So they go for a walk, and an hour later, they come back, and he's not going to fire anybody. He's just going to give them some more specific instructions. And so he. His worst behaviors were restrained by his management team. And I think that's that's a work but at any given time, things were on the verge of blowing up. And he did get fired as the head of Apple right 1990s but they helped him enough, he was reigned in enough that he was successful in the 2000s hugely, six. I mean, I don't know if they're the biggest value company right now, but I think when he died, they were probably the most valuable company. So, yeah, this can happen. But the key is that he was restrained by his management team, and unrestrained bully is going to cause   Michael Hingson ** 55:49 damage. I wonder though, if, as he matured, if he did, I'm assuming that he did actually, if some of the bullying tendencies really did go away, and then he changed a little bit at least, of of how he functioned. I mean, clearly he was a strong personality, right? And clearly he was the innovator of so many products. And so I can see where personality might get in the way, because he wants it done now. He wants it done this way. But I wonder if over time, he became a little bit less of of a bully, and maybe it was just the management restraint, or maybe that was a part of it, but it's I think you're right. Probably was a little bit better as time went on. I think you're   Bill Eddy ** 56:38 right, because when he came back to Apple after he was fired and tried some other projects, I think that he learned to focus more and to be a little less disrespectful. And I remember I read his biography, I think of Walter Isaacson, and my conclusion was that he was definitely narcissistic, but I don't think he had a narcissistic personality disorder, which is an enduring pattern of self defeating behavior. I think he had traits and that he learned to manage those traits primarily because his management team, people around him taught him he needs to restrain those so he's an example of where you can have someone with a bullying personality and rein them in and have them be quite successful. So I think that's what happened there,   Michael Hingson ** 57:39 and he would see that, in fact, it worked to change how you're operating a little bit. And maybe it was, maybe it was always underneath. But at the same time, he learned that, hey, working the way I've been isn't really as effective as what I'm seeing happen when I operate this way. Yeah,   Bill Eddy ** 58:01 what's interesting about him is he was particularly collaborative. So he liked working with other people. He liked he liked people with pushback, people that would disagree, present another point of view. So they could, they could go back and forth, although if other people had a really brilliant idea, he started thinking it was his idea. Yeah, but he he really had had an ability to work with other people that a lot of bullies don't have. And I think that may be why you're quite right, that he did mature some he did restrain himself a little more and became able to be brilliant. Imagine how many other brilliant people might really contribute if they had that balance of a really good management team to rein them in, but some of our most narcissistic individuals don't pay attention and often ruin, ruin their own creations. I think of like Enron, as our company that was brilliant, but probably had two people with personality disorders on top, one anti social and one narcissistic, and they reinforced each other's bad traits. And I think that's why that went off the rails. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 59:29 well, and the, the other thing that comes to mind is, then you have another very successful person, Bill Gates, yeah, and I don't, I don't know. Do you think that he was a bully?   Bill Eddy ** 59:43 I think that he certainly engaged in bullying behavior when he was the head of Microsoft. And I remember hearing about, I don't know if it was a recording or a transcript in a book, but he was at a meeting, and he was just very distant. Painful to the thinking of other people in the meeting, like, like, almost ready to, like, drive them out of the room. And you know, what are you doing here? You're an idiot and stuff like that. And I must say, I read Paul Allen's book, which was idea, man, I think, is what it was called, and and he, he had enough examples in there that I think Bill Gates was also a bully. But I think that again, there was enough of a management team to keep him from destroying what he was building. And I must say, one of his most brilliant decisions was marrying Melinda French, and she turned him into a philanthropist. And he's donated, you know, billions of dollars, but he's also created things to help poor people. He's He's fought malaria, I think, and trying to get toilets where you don't have electricity, but you can have self managed toilets. And he's in, he's put energy into these projects. So I would say, somehow the edge, the bullying edge, was taken off, so he actually could work with other people and and have some empathy for them. So again, he might be someone who didn't have a personality disorder, but may have had some traits, but somehow the balance worked out, and the more people realize that you may have brilliant people around you, if you can rein them in enough, we may have a better society because of some of these difficult people.   Michael Hingson ** 1:01:53 Well, clearly, Bill Gates had a very strong personality and and that's fine, but I do agree, I don't think that he really was a bully as such, in the way that we view it, for a lot of people as we've been discussing it, it doesn't mean that he didn't ever have any bullying kinds of behavior, but overall, he was successful, and is successful. And as you said, marrying Melinda has certainly made a significant difference in his outlook, and he's doing such great work, and you can't argue with that.   Bill Eddy ** 1:02:28 Yeah, and the fact that he's now divorced from Belinda, and I think that might have been more her idea than his, he still seems to be continuing on with his uh, philanthropy and doing works to help health health care, especially for people in really poor countries. So I think, and she changed his personality maybe a teeny little bit, and   Michael Hingson ** 1:02:54 climate change and climate   Bill Eddy ** 1:02:56 change for sure. Yeah, he's a big picture guy. He's one of our most deepest thinkers in the big picture, and we need people like that. So my goal isn't to eliminate bullies, it's to restrain them enough so they don't harm other people, but ideally, contribute to society   Michael Hingson ** 1:03:19 and they can. And it's a process. Well, this has been fun. I want to thank you for being here and talking about all this is, How do other people deal with it when they see somebody being bullied?   Bill Eddy ** 1:03:34 Well, bystanders need to speak up more and be assertive as well, and that's part of the cover of my book. Is a bully fish chasing a little fish who's about to grab and eat but gets distracted by a whole school of little fish chasing behind him who look bigger than him. And that's the bystanders. And bystanders need to speak up and say, hey, that's enough, Joe, or hey, that's enough, Jane. Or cut it out. Leave her alone. That when people do that, bullies often stop because they think they're getting away with something, or they're not even thinking they're just automatically bullying somebody. And when that happens, they realize, uh oh, my public may not be happy with me, and I don't want to alienate my public so you can have an influence as a bystander, and are encouraged to be assertive and not intimidated. And the more bystanders support each other, that much easier it is to stop bullies.   Michael Hingson ** 1:04:43 Good advice and so cool. Well, again, I want to thank you for being here. This has been great. I hope all of you listening out there have found a lot of good tools that you can take away and use. Lot of good life lessons here by any standard you. I really so I really appreciate you taking the time to be with Bill and me today on unstoppable mindset. Love to get your thoughts, so please feel free to email me. Michael h i at accessibe, A, C, C, E, S, S, I, B, e.com, or go to our podcast page, www, dot Michael hingson.com/podcast, and Michael Hinkson is spelled M, I, C, H, A, E, L, H, I N, G, s, O, N, Michael hingson.com/podcast, and wherever you are, give us a five star rating. We love those ratings on the podcast. We appreciate that, and would greatly value you you doing that. And again, your thoughts and for all of you, including Bill, if you know of anyone else who ought to be a guest on unstoppable mindset, we'd love to hear from you. We don't really tend to discriminate and say, Oh, that's a bad idea just just saying bill, but so we'd love to really hear about more people you think ought to be, whoever you are on the podcast, and we will talk with them and make a plan to go forward with them. So don't ever hesitate to point out someone who you think ought to come on and again. Bill, I want to thank you one last time for being here. This has been a lot of fun, and we appreciate your time today. Well,   Bill Eddy ** 1:06:21 thanks so much, Michael. I've really enjoyed it too. We got into some stuff deeper than I have in some of my other interviews. So we really covered the covered the gamut. And I think, I think people will find that this is a topic that becomes more and more relevant every year. So thanks for getting the word out there   Michael Hingson ** 1:06:41 well, and I hope that people will buy your book and and all that too. Yeah, we have to get the book sales out there, right.   Bill Eddy ** 1:06:49 That's right. Thank you for that.   Michael Hingson ** 1:06:57 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.

In this episode of the Daily Mastermind, host George Wright III interviews Doug Noel, a former trial lawyer who transitioned to becoming a peacemaker. Noel shares his journey from practicing law to focusing on emotional intelligence, de-escalation, and conflict resolution. They discuss the importance of recognizing and managing emotions, both in personal and professional settings, through techniques such as affect labeling. The conversation covers how emotional competence can enhance leadership, build trust, and create emotional safety, ultimately leading to more fulfilled and successful lives. Doug also provides practical steps for mastering these skills and offers resources for further learning. 01:29 Doug's Journey from Lawyer to Peacemaker02:44 The Philosophy of Tai Chi and Its Impact03:22 The Turning Point: Questioning the Legal Career04:32 Pursuing a New Path in Peacemaking08:06 Understanding Emotional Intelligence12:12 The Science Behind Affect Labeling16:35 Practical Application of Affect Labeling19:21 Overcoming Social Prejudices in Emotional Labeling19:52 The Power of Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence20:29 Mastering Emotional Competence in Business21:37 The Myth of Rationality and Embracing Emotions24:59 The Two Types of Listening27:26 Creating Emotional Safety in Leadership31:49 Practical Steps to Develop Emotional Competency Thanks for listening, and Please Share this Episode with someone. It would really help us to grow our show and share these valuable tips and strategies with others. Have a great day. George Wright III“It's Never Too Late to Start Living the Life You Were Meant to Live”FREE Daily Mastermind Resources:CONNECT with George & Access Tons of ResourcesGet access to Proven Strategies and Time-Test Principles for Success. Plus, download and access tons of FREE resources and online events by joining our Exclusive Community of Entrepreneurs, Business Owners, and High Achievers like YOU.Join FREE at www.JoinTheEvolution.comAbout Doug NollDoug Noll is an expert in resolving complex and emotional conflicts, with a distinguished career as a lawyer turned peacemaker, mediator, and leadership consultant. After 22 years as a trial lawyer, he shifted to mediation and leadership development, earning recognition as one of the Best Lawyers in America and Northern California Super Lawyer. He co-founded the pro bono Prison of Peace project, winning California Attorney of the Year in 2012.An acclaimed author, Doug has written award-winning books, including De-Escalate and Elusive Peace. He teaches at Pepperdine's Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution and is a sought-after trainer and lecturer on peacemaking and conflict resolution.Outside his professional life, Doug is a skilled violinist, pilot, tai chi master, and chef. He lives in the Sierra Nevada, California, with his wife Aleya.Guest Resources:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/douglasenoll/Website: DougNoll.comCLICK HERE to submit your request for a FREE PERFECT Interview on Valiantceo.com Magazine.

Former Lipscomb President Dr. Randy Lowry joins the show to discuss his career as a lawyer and educator. The founder of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University, Randy speaks on the spiritual worldview that drove his passion for conflict settlement and the benefits of reconciliation in political, professional, and educational spaces.

Join Paulette and AJ as they share their tips on how to have a better divorce experience!!  A.J. Grossman graduated from San Jose State University with a degree in business administration and at the top of his Florida law school class. He immediately went on to achieve his Master of Laws degree in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute at Pepperdine University Law School in California, which is the #1 ranked Dispute Resolution program in the country. As the son of a Navy Officer and the founder of several businesses, he learned quickly about service to others. A.J.'s goal is to help people solve problems, plain and simple. Being in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time, for a person (or couple of people) in need, drives A.J. to continue growing his legal practice. He focuses his efforts on providing solutions that protect the interests of those who seek amicable resolutions in their lives. Protecting your rights and providing solid legal counsel through one of life's most difficult and stressful situations. A.J. Grossman III is the only experienced, practicing family law attorney in Florida who holds a Master of Laws degree from the #1-ranked dispute resolution program in the United States, The Straus Institute at Pepperdine School of Law. Mr. Grossman has served on the board of directors for the Collaborative Family Law Group of Central Florida and currently sits on the board of directors for the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the Orange County Bar Association Family Law Committee. He also dedicates a portion of his time to serving on committees dedicated to establishing certification for collaborative professionals and delivering webinar education for legal professionals. When people experience a divorce or other stressful family law matter, it is not uncommon for their lives to be thrown into turmoil. Mr. Grossman's passion is to help people through family law related traumatic/stressful experiences to maximize a settlement or a court decision. He helps his clients to understand their legal rights and the Florida legal process, and negotiate settlements that protect their rights and the rights of their children. Mr. Grossman understands that every client and/or family is unique, and no single approach is the right one for all clients or all families. Therefore, Mr. Grossman has been trained in traditional trial litigation and advocacy, as well as alternative dispute resolution options such as collaborative divorce, mediation, and arbitration. You can find AJ here: https://www.leapfrogdivorce.com/ SIGN UP FOR my Better Divorce Blueprint PROGRAM: https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/ WEBSITE - resources for those in need of Certified Divorce Coaching and Private Mediation Services : https://betterdivorceacademy.com/ SOCIAL MEDIA - bit.ly/betterdivorceacademy Buy my book and workbook: Better Divorce Blueprint https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/ RESOURCES - https://betterdivorceacademy.com/reso... AUDIOBOOK FROM AUDIBLE - https://www.audible.com/pd/Better-Div... Are you looking for answers and guidance? BOOK a 30 minute assessment consultation: https://calendly.com/betterdivorceaca... Disclaimer: All statements made in this audio/video are expressions of the opinion of the speaker, and should be regarded as such. The audio/video is made to serve a therapeutic purpose for the speaker or speakers and to assist others in recognizing and dealing with matters in their own lives which they believe may be similar. #divorce #mediation #coaching #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport

In Our New World of ADULT BULLIES: How to Spot The, How to Stop Them, author Bill Eddy - lawyer, therapist, educator, and Co-Counder of High Conflict Institute - writes with authority that comes from 40+ years of working with bullies and other high conflict personality individuals. Bullies may always have been a feature of human society. Eddy suggests that between 5 and 10% of people have personalities that do not allow them to put the reins on the abusive behaviors of bullies. Rich with examples the Eddy tells us how to spot bullying behavior/s as well as techniques to contain, channel and stop the abuse that bullies visit on their victims.     Eddy's work - in his book and his conversation - avoids a simplistic understanding: bullies are bad. Rather he speaks about how bullying behavior can, when channeled, can push us to be better, push society into new frontiers that may not otherwise be accessible. Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the Co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals about managing relationships and situations with high conflict people and bullies. He trains lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists worldwide in managing high conflict situations. Now he is writing books for everyone including his latest: Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them - How to Stop Them.Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. While pioneering High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP), he was the National Conflict Resolution Center's Senior Family Mediator for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist for over 12 years.Bill serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 35 U.S. states and 13 countries.The author or co-author of over 20 books, manuals, and workbooks, he also has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with millions of views. He co-hosts the podcast, It's All Your Fault! with HCI co-founder, Megan Hunterhttps://highconflictinstitute.com/

When you think bullies, you may think about school aged children, but what happens when you are an adult dealing with adult bullies? This week Michelle Dempsey-Multack welcomes back Bill Eddy to discuss managing bullies as an adult. Bill Eddy is an expert in dealing with high-conflict individuals and is sure to leave you feeling empowered after this episode. Together Michelle and Bill will cover: Learning to talk about how you are feeling when being bullied Leading with empathy to understand the other person's behavior Reminding yourself that many bullies are unaware of what they are doing Setting limits and imposing consequences AND MUCH MORE Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views. Check out his amazing books, here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan welcomes back the world's leading expert on managing high-conflict behaviors, Bill Eddy!  Bill shares insights from his newest book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them ― How to Stop Them. In this episode, Susan and Bill explore the different forms of bullying, the underlying causes, practical strategies for dealing with bullies, and the role of empathy and communication in resolving these challenging situations. Bullying is happening in almost every area of our lives - whether you have a friend or family member experiencing bullying or have witnessed it in the workplace, this conversation (and Bill's new book) is essential in helping you shut down these troubling behaviors. Featured topics and Golden Nuggets: Why is adult bullying so prevalent today? Some of the characteristics of bullying behavior Bill answers, “Are there different types of bullies?” “When you see polarization, look for a bully.”  Strategies to manage and protect yourself from adult bullies The real-world consequences of being an adult bull **************************************** About this week's special guest: Bill Eddy Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. While pioneering High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP), he was the National Conflict Resolution Center's Senior Family Mediator for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist for over 12 years. Bill serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 35 U.S. states and 13 countries.  The author or co-author of over 20 books, manuals, and workbooks, he also has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 6 million views. Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them ― How to Stop Them The High Conflict Institute  It's All Your Fault! Podcast **************************************** THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS:  HEADSPACE Hello, Divorce & Beyond family! We've teamed up with Headspace to guide you towards better mental health. With Headspace's meditation, mindfulness tools, and mental health support, you're set for a happier, healthier you. Sign up through our exclusive link for free two weeks of Headspace membership. Don't miss out on this opportunity to embrace well-being. ========================= HELLO DIVORCE Over one million people get divorced in the United States every year. However, divorce can be a complex and expensive process, especially if you have to hire a lawyer. That's where Hello Divorce comes in. Hello Divorce is an online divorce platform that makes it easy and affordable to get a divorce yourself. With Hello Divorce, you can complete the entire divorce process online, in your own home, and at your own pace. Hello Divorce offers a variety of features to help you get through your divorce, including: Easy-to-use online forms and guides A step-by-step walkthrough of the divorce process Access to experienced divorce professionals for help and support  And more! If you're considering getting a divorce, please check out Hello Divorce. It's the best way to get a divorce without breaking the bank. The founder of Hello Divorce, Erin Levine, is a friend of mine, and I admire her and what she has created with Hello Divorce so much – this platform is the change we need in the divorce industry.  You can hear Erin explain more in her episode on the podcast entitled “The FYI on DIY Divorce.”  Get more information, resources, and support at hellodivorce.com/beyond and receive $100 off your service with the code BEYOND!  Visit hellodivorce.com/beyond for $100 OFF! ********************************************************************* SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES ARE AVAILABLE!  https://divorcebeyond.com/Sponsorship-Info ******************************************************************* MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: SUSAN GUTHRIE®, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast, is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country.  Susan is the Vice Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution and is a sought-after keynote speaker, business and practice consultant, coach and trainer. You can find out more about Susan and her services here:  https://neon.page/susanguthrie Internationally renowned as one of the leading experts in online mediation, Susan created her Learn to Mediate Online® program and has trained more than 25,000 professionals in how to transition their practice online.  Susan recently partnered with legal and mediation legend, Forrest "Woody" Mosten to create the Mosten Guthrie Academy which provides gold-standard, fully online training for mediation and collaborative professionals at all stages of their careers.   Follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susaneguthrie/ Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq ********************************************************************* We'd really appreciate it if you would give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us!  You can get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com.  Don't forget to visit the webpage www.divorceandbeyondpod.com and sign up for the free NEWSLETTER to receive a special welcome video from Susan and more!! ********************************************************************* DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ======================================  

Our guest is none other than Bill Eddy, a leading expert in managing high-conflict personalities. As the pioneer in understanding and navigating the tumultuous waters of relationships with individuals exhibiting narcissistic or borderline traits, Bill brings a wealth of knowledge and practical wisdom.In this episode, we'll unravel the intricacies of his acclaimed book, "SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder". If you're facing a high-conflict divorce, this conversation is an essential guide to maintaining your sanity and safety in the face of adversity.Bill Eddy, co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute, is a renowned figure in managing high-conflict personalities. He developed the influential High Conflict Personality Theory and has a rich background as both a Certified Family Law Specialist and a licensed clinical social worker.Bill's work extends beyond the courtroom and therapy sessions to the academic realm, serving as faculty at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University and a Conjoint Associate Professor at the University of Newcastle Law School.As an author of over 20 books and co-host of the podcast "It's All Your Fault," Bill's expertise is sought after worldwide, having lectured in over 35 U.S. states and 13 countries worldwide. His popular Psychology Today blog has garnered over 6 million views, making him a leading voice in understanding and navigating complex interpersonal conflicts.More ways to connect with Bill:Website: https://highconflictinstitute.com/solutions-for-individualsSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderJourney Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmindDivorce 101: The Roadmap Your Need  to Prepare for Your High Conflict Divorce: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce101

This week, we welcome Dr. John Lowry. John is a recognized authority on negotiation through his experience as a lawyer, management consultant, entrepreneur, negotiation coach, and university administrator. We discuss his new book Negotiation Made Simple, A Practical Guide for Solving Problems, Building Relationships, and Delivering the Deal. His results-focused, systematic approach to negotiation has been successfully implemented by thousands of professionals across the United States. John teaches negotiation at the top-ranked Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University's Caruso School of Law and lectures in Vanderbilt University's Master's in Management in Health Care program. John serves as president of Thrivence, a new management consulting firm affiliated with Barge Design Solutions. In addition to leading the firm, John counsels clients on leadership, executive team effectiveness, strategy, revenue growth, and conflict management. He also provides negotiation training and coaching for governmental entities, healthcare organizations, and other businesses. John is a popular keynote speaker and leads multiple executive retreats each year including the opening retreat of the Nashville Health Care Council Fellows program. John earned his bachelor's degree in speech communications from Pepperdine University and master's degree in religion from Abilene Christian University. He received his juris doctorate degree from Southern Methodist University's Dedman School of Law. He has also completed graduate work in dispute resolution at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University's Caruso School of Law and in public policy at California State University, Sacramento. John resides in Nashville, TN with his wife, Melissa, and their three children.

Dr. John Lowry, CEO of Thrivence, a management consulting firm based in Nashville, TN, joins Barry O'Reilly on this episode of the Unlearn Podcast to talk about John's journey from being a lawyer to teaching negotiation skills worldwide. John uses his diverse background in law, consulting, entrepreneurship, coaching, and university administration to bring a unique perspective to negotiation. He currently serves as the President of the Lowry Group and teaches at Pepperdine University's Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution. In this week's show, John shares insights from his bestselling book, Negotiation Made Simple. He emphasizes the importance of understanding human motivations in negotiation and highlights that decisions are often influenced more by emotion and ego than reason. By focusing on interest-based negotiation and avoiding positional debates, negotiators can create win-win deals in both business and personal situations.From Lawyer to Negotiation Specialist98% of John's work as a lawyer centered around negotiating settlements. “What I learned was, … most of the problems started as human problems, then they became legal problems,” John tells Barry. “And then the really sophisticated negotiators, they got them resolved as human problems again. And the litigation process didn't allow for the human element to come back in. It was only the negotiation process that allowed for that.” He became passionate about developing expertise in interest-based negotiation focused on the human problems underlying legal conflicts. He eventually started training others in these skills to facilitate deals and restore relationships earlier in disputes. He tells Barry that he focuses on negotiation more than litigation because "that was the process that brought healing to the injured party. That was the process that brought peace."Understanding Emotional Triggers in Decision-MakingA study by Harvard Business School showed that only 30% of business investment decisions are based on reason or analysis; 70% are driven by emotion. The emotional trigger, in particular, was found to be related to ego—how individuals felt about themselves when contemplating doing business with the other party. This insight highlights the significance of emotions in decision-making during negotiations. Barry reflects on this, emphasizing the importance of understanding how much the other party likes you, as it plays a crucial role in the negotiation process.Counterintuitive NegotiationBarry asks John what we should unlearn to become sophisticated negotiators. “Negotiation is a very counterintuitive process,” John responds. He debunks the misconception that negotiations always end with a win-win or a friendly resolution. He defends teaching competitive negotiation, arguing that it prepares individuals for the reality of negotiating with counterparts who are ready to compete. Competition can be cooperative in certain circumstances, he comments, emphasizing the role of ritual and uncertainty in negotiation dynamics. Looking AheadJohn believes that in the future, neuroscience will help us understand how emotions and psychology impact decision-making and negotiation results. While AI can make data analysis more efficient, it probably won't fully replicate the complexity of human interactions and the diverse interests involved. As Barry points out, humans still play a crucial role in setting machine parameters. However, the collaboration between humans and technology will keep advancing the field of neuroscience and negotiation.Read full show notes at BarryO'Reilly.comResourcesDr. John Lowry on Website | LinkedIn | Negotiation Made Simple

Make Next Year Your Best Year! Start small, but start smart. Join our 3 week Tiny Habits group program and get 2024 off to a great start! Learn More     |     Register Here _________________________ How much critical thinking are you bringing to your retirement planning?  And not just with your investments, but on how you'll invest your time in retirement. Critical thinking can help you avoid distractions, make smart choices and chart your own course in your retirement life. Dennis Torres shares his lessons from a varied career and from six years in retirement. He joins us from Malibu, California. _________________________ Bio Dennis Torres is a skilled, talented mediator, arbitrator and negotiator who is committed to serving the best interests of all parties. He has successfully settled and negotiated thousands of disputes and contracts throughout his professional career. More than 30 years of business experience enables Torres to quickly identify the key issues of any dispute, separate the conflict from the personalities and pragmatically work toward resolution. Additionally, he brings a high degree of integrity and creativity to the process, often being praised for his “out of the box” solutions. A daily meditator since the mid 1970s, it is easy for Torres to remain centered, focused and neutral while being firmly committed to resolution. His style utilizes a full range of facilitative, evaluative, distributive and transformational methods as best suited for the individuals and the uniqueness of each challenge. While varying the process to fit the parties and the dispute, typically he will first caucus with counsel for both sides, followed by a joint session with all parties, then individual caucuses with each disputant and their attorney. His success rate is among the highest in the industry and his solutions among the most satisfying. Torres received his formal training in dispute resolution from Pepperdine University's School of Law, Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, which is rated number one in the country.  He has both a Master's Degree in Dispute Resolution and a Professional Graduate Certificate in Dispute Resolution. Additionally, he is a graduate of The Fashion Institute of Technology, New York where he earned a degree in industrial engineering.  He also studied law at LaSalle University before being assigned duty with the United States Air Force in Vietnam. In 2006, he completed the PON at Harvard Law School. In addition to his private practice, Torres served as an adjunct professor of negotiation and dispute resolution for Pepperdine University and as a mediator for the Center for Conflict Resolution (CCR), the California Academy of Mediation Professionals (CAMP), the Arbitration, Mediation & Conciliation Center (AMCC), the State of California Superior Court in Ventura County and Los Angeles County, and the Courts of Malibu, Santa Monica and Van Nuys, and as both a mediator and arbitrator for the National Association of Securities Dealers (NASD). He had been professionally associated with Pepperdine University util his retirement. __________________________ For More on Dennis Torres Website __________________________ Retire Smarter: Follow on Apple Podcasts or Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio  | TuneIn | RSS __________________________ Podcast Episodes You May Like The Power of Saying No - Vanessa Patrick, PhD Life After Work – Brian Feutz Purpose Driven Retirement – Jet Vertz Independence Day – Steve Lopez __________________________ Retiring?  Check out our recommended Best Books on Retirement with short summaries. It's not a just a list - and not just typical titles... ___________________________ Wise Quotes On Critical Thinking & Retirement "Critical thinking is important in all aspects of life, but what it means is to start thinking why we believe what we do.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. developed the high conflict personality theory to explain the driving forces behind people who present the most challenging behaviors. He is an expert on managing disputes involving high-conflict situations and 5 high conflict personality types, including a subset of those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, histrionic, and paranoid personality disorders. He has trained over 200,000 professionals in 10 countries on understanding and managing high-conflict disputes, including lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, law enforcement, therapists, and others. As an attorney, Bill was a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Before becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years of experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples, and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He serves on the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution faculty at the Pepperdine University School of Law. He is an Associate Professor at the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. In 2021, Bill received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Academy of Professional Family Mediators.Bill has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 3.5 million views and is the author and co-author of twenty books on high-conflict personalities, including two award winners (see all books here):A Quote From this Episode"About 10% of people have these extreme behaviors, and they don't stop themselves and they are dysfunctional."Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeBook: Calming Upset People with EARBook: 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeBook: It's All YOUR Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for EverythingBook: The Sociopath Next Door by StoutSeries - The StaircaseAbout The International Leadership Association (ILA)The ILA was created in 1999 to bring together professionals interested in studying, practicing, and teaching leadership. Plan for ILA's 25th Global Conference in Vancouver, British Columbia, October 12-15, 2023.About The Boler College of Business at John Carroll UniversityBoler offers four MBA programs – 1 Year Flexible, Hybrid, Online, and Professional. Each MBA track offers flexible timelines and various class structure options (online, in-person, hybrid, asynchronous). Boler's tech core and international study tour opportunities set these MBA programs apart. Rankings highlighted in the intro are taken from CEO Magazine.About  Scott J. AllenWebsiteMy Approach to HostingThe views of my guests do not constitute "truth." Nor do they reflect my personal views in some instances. However, they are views to consider, and I hope they help you clarify your perspective. Nothing can replace your reflection, research, and exploration of the topic.

When I first met our guest today, it was during the administration of George W. Bush in 2007 at the Starbucks near Ralphs in Malibu, California between Pepperdine classes. Dr. Kaufman was discussing anything and everything with anyone who would stop by to chat, from students to homeless-looking billionaires to homeless looking homeless people. He reminded me of a real-life Socrates in the Agora, except with a nice tie. Professor Robert G. Kaufman has taught at the Pepperdine School of Public Policy in Malibu, California since 2004. Before that, Dr. Kaufman was tenured in Bernie Sanders' country at the University of Vermont as the only Republican faculty member. He has 4 degrees from Columbia University in New York City, including a Great Books background as undergraduate and a Ph.D. Kaufman's law degrees are from Georgetown (JD) and his advance law studies in dispute resolution were from Pepperdine Law's famous Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution program in Malibu, California. The discussion today includes his controversial book "In Defense of the Bush Doctrine" (University of Kentucky Press, 2007) as well as its sister book that came nearly a decade later with the same themes, "Dangerous Doctrine: how Obama's Grand Strategy Weakened America (University of Kentucky Press, 2016). Those books defend what he urges that a prudent, historically learned president would decide, given the right lessons from the Civil War, WW 1, WW 2, the Cold War, and the first Gulf War. He stands by his arguments and conclusions in those books despite the well-spring of isolationist rhetoric creeping back into Republican Party politics, allegedly inspired by Trump. Kaufman voted for Trump and would again, so he's not a Never Trumper. But he's not an Always Trumper, as well. And the dangers of either side are worth paying close attention to. Professor Kaufman also offers critical reflection on presidents Trump and Biden, and suggestions for a way forward with our most critical, pressing challenges. We also incidently mention an earlier book that I read two decades ago, his biography of the Democrat US senator from Washington, Henry "Scoop" Jackson, who had the correct view of Nixon's detente and who helped establish the Reagan Doctrine that won the Cold War with the Soviet Union. The Republican Professor is a pro-getting-a-better-grip-on-the-right-foreign-policy podcast. Therefore, welcome the one and only Professor Robert G. Kaufman of the Pepperdine School of Public Policy in Malibu, California. The Republican Professor is produced and hosted by Dr. Lucas J. Mather, Ph.D. Warmly, Lucas J. Mather, Ph.D. The Republican Professor Podcast The Republican Professor Newsletter on Substack

High Conflict Personality Expert Bill Eddy joins Awakened Love today for a deep dive into understanding people with high conflict personalities, and protecting yourself when dealing with them. Angel and Bill explore the challenges of navigating toxic relationships, including the signs of personality disorders, the dynamics of high-conflict relationships, and the impact of gaslighting and other manipulative behaviors. Bill shares his insights on how to recognize and break free from toxic patterns, offering practical tips and strategies for healing and moving forward. Whether you're dealing with a difficult relationship yourself or seeking to support someone who is, this conversation offers valuable insights into the complexities of toxic relationships and the path to healing.   === TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Intro 1:41 High Conflict Personalities 3:50 2 Questions to Ask yourself, to identify if you have a HCP 4:50 Overlaps with Personality Disorders 8:03 Uncovering Patterns in Behavior 9:43 Why People Rush into things 12:36 Seeing Your Partner's True Colors 15:28 How to Discern Someone's Intentions 19:27 Making an Exit Strategy 23:08 What Makes A Victim Susceptible 27:15 The Sales & Seduction Phase 28:30 How to Identify If Your Partner is High Conflict 37:17 When to Know If You Should Leave 39:26 Trauma Bonded Pairs & Naive Beliefs 48:07 Standing Up to a Bully Without Becoming a Target of Blame 53:33 Co-Parenting with a Partner Who Has NPD 57:03 Protecting Yourself Against False Allegations 1:02:34 Conclusion ===   Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.   Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist with over 12 years of experience. Bill serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 35 U.S. states and 13 countries. He is the author or co-author of over 20 books, manuals, and workbooks. He is co-host of the podcast It's All Your Fault that he co-hosts with Megan Hunter, MBA, and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 6 million views.   ===   Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelikaalana/ https://www.instagram.com/awakenedlove/   My Website: https://www.angelikaalana.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In our previous discussion with Warren Taryle, we delved into the complexities of owning a property management company, and what caught our attention was its capacity to provide asset protection. As a result, we have invited J.J. Childers for our next episode to explore further how property management can offer security in terms of taxes, property transfers, and estate planning. Don't miss out on this one!   WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE Tax benefits of running a property management company for asset protection Key roles of property management firms in handling tenant lawsuits  How to set up an entity to safeguard your assets in different situations The significance of estate planning    RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Realities of Owning a Property Management Company and Employing Your Kids - Warren Taryle  The Blueprint To Financial Protection - J.J. Childers ABOUT J.J. CHILDERS J.J. Childers helps entrepreneurs, small business owners, and investors design and structure protection plans for safeguarding their assets without all the confusion, complication, and cost often associated with the process.   He is a licensed attorney who has been practicing law for the past 25 years in the areas of asset protection, estate planning, and business law. In addition to his law degree, he is studying for his LL.M in Dispute Resolution from the prestigious Straus Institute at Pepperdine University's Caruso School of Law. He completed the Certified Mediation training program through the Arkansas Dispute Resolution Commission along with advanced Negotiation and Dispute Resolution training at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School.   He is the author of numerous books, courses, and training programs that provide instruction on wealth protection through innovative strategy and structuring. He is a highly sought-after speaker on a wide variety of topics related to legal protection planning and is consistently rated as a top speaker by his audiences.   CONNECT WITH J.J. Email: jj@jjchilders.com    CONNECT WITH US: If you need help with anything in real estate, please email: invest@rpcinvest.com  Reach Ron: RP Capital Leave podcast reviews and topic suggestions: iTunes Subscribe and get additional info: Get Real Estate Success Facebook Group: Cash Flow Property Facebook Community

This week on the show, I have the legendary Bill Eddy joining me. Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is the world's leading expert on methods for managing disputes involving people with high-conflict personalities. He provides training on this subject to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners' association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists, and others. He has worked as the senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center, a certified family law specialist representing clients in family court, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist. In 2021, he received the Lifetime Achievement award from the Academy of Professional Mediators. Bill serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law, and is a conjoint associate professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has delivered talks and training to lawyers, judges, and mediators in over 30 U.S. states and 13 countries, and has authored or co-authored 20 books. His popular blog on the Psychology Today website has more than 5 million views. He regularly consults on issues of alienation, family violence, and false allegations in family court cases. In addition, Bill is the developer of the New Ways for Families® method of managing potentially high-conflict families in and out of family court.  In this episode we talk about: What a high-conflict person is. The four characteristics of a high-conflict person. Why trying to change a high-conflict person doesn't work and what to do instead. The difference between high-conflict people and personality disorders. The characteristics of people with a personality disorder. What NOT to do when engaging with high-conflict people. Narcissistic personality disorders as one of the most common types of high-conflict personality. Some of the books he wrote relevant to single mums, in particular, are – 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (co-author Randi Kreger) BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email, and Social Media Meltdowns Don't Alienate the Kids!: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce Bill's New Ways for Families method to help manage high-conflict families in and out of family court.  Links mentioned in the episode:  You can connect with Bill on his Website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, or his YouTube channel. You can also check out his Podcast, It's All Your Fault HERE. Join the Thrive Tribe waitlist HERE.  Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE. To contact Julia, email: julia@singlemothersurvivalguide.com. Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too. Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Neste episódio os sócios Ricardo Chaves Barcellos debate com o advogado Vitor de Paula Ramos e com o juiz de direito Dr. André Gomma de Azevedo (Professor de Harvard e do Straus Institute, dentre outras instituições) acerca do uso dos meios autocompositivos – como a mediação - e das janelas de oportunidades que surgem antes ou durante a tramitação dos processos judiciais, sobretudo após a produção de provas.

Who better to talk about divorce than someone who has achieved his Master of Laws degree in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute at Pepperdine University Law School, the country's #1 ranked Dispute Resolution program? A.J. Grossman's goal is to help people solve problems, plain and simple, and he will talk about many topics in today's episode. He focuses his efforts on providing solutions that protect the interests of those who seek amicable resolutions in their lives. Being in the right place and doing the right thing, at the right time, for a person (or a couple of people) in need drives A.J. to continue growing his legal practice! We will gain some clarity on this episode around the following questions: Can I have a good co-parenting relationship with my spouse after the divorce? What can I do to protect my children from the nastiness that usually happens in a divorce? What can I do to communicate better with my spouse since we don't see eye to eye on many things? How should I respond to my spouse's nasty texts and emails? What should I do in my divorce since I believe my spouse is a narcissist? What will happen to my financial future after the divorce since I left a lucrative career to stay home to raise our children and have not worked for 20 years? To reach A.J. and his team of experts, visit Leap Frog Divorce at the following links: Website LinkedIn YouTube Channel Phone: 407-377-7108

Things are not always black and white when it comes to alimony after divorce. Host Michelle Dempsey-Multack asked AJ Grossman to return to Moms Moving On to discuss his experience with alimony and how it works. AJ explains how big of a source of fear money is during the divorce process and what you can do about it. In this episode AJ covers: Having realistic expectations If extra marital affairs can affect alimony Having a demonstrated need for alimony How the alimony formula can vary state by state AND MUCH MORE A.J. Grossman graduated from San Jose State University with a degree in business administration and at the top of his Florida law school class. He immediately went on to achieve his Master of Laws degree in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute at Pepperdine University Law School in California, which is the #1 ranked Dispute Resolution program in the country. As the son of a Navy Officer and the founder of several businesses, he learned quickly about service to others. A.J.'s goal is to help people solve problems, plain and simple. Being in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time, for a person (or couple of people) in need, drives A.J. to continue growing his legal practice. He focuses his efforts on providing solutions that protect the interests of those who seek amicable resolutions in their lives. Learn more about AJ and his Florida Divorce Firm, Leap Frog Divorce, here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rhonda's guest today is AJ Grossman, owner of Leap Frog Divorce.  AJ is a master at navigating tough conversations in divorce.   How do you respond? Is a response required? How to engage in a difficult conversation with a learning mindset.   Establishing good boundaries Neutralize the emotion Determine how to protect yourself if a civil conversation isn't possible.  Breathe! You'll be ok   WEBSITE LinkedIN Facebook YouTube   About today's guest:  A.J. Grossman graduated from San Jose State University with a degree in business administration and at the top of his Florida law school class. He immediately went on to achieve his Master of Laws degree in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute at Pepperdine University Law School in California, which is the #1 ranked Dispute Resolution program in the country. As the son of a Navy Officer and the founder of several businesses, he learned quickly about service to others. A.J.'s goal is to help people solve problems, plain and simple. Being in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time, for a person (or couple of people) in need, drives A.J. to continue growing his legal practice. He focuses his efforts on providing solutions that protect the interests of those who seek amicable resolutions in their lives. Your host is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA®, CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center   Rhonda has dedicated her career to being an advocate for women and educating them on how financial strategies can impact their personal and professional success. Her work has shown women going through a divorce how to have a voice, be assertive, get results, be driven, and move forward with confidence.    For Rhonda and her company, the Women's Financial Wellness Center, helping women isn't just about running the numbers. It's about asking the right questions, demystifying myths and biases around finances, and helping women walk in their power. Rhonda is passionate about helping her clients navigate a broken system and level the playing field so they can achieve success—pre, during, and post-divorce.    Click HERE for a 30-Minute Discovery Call   Click HERE for our Divorce Planning Course

Join Paulette and AJ as they share their tips on how to have a better divorce experience!! A.J. Grossman graduated from San Jose State University with a degree in business administration and at the top of his Florida law school class. He immediately went on to achieve his Master of Laws degree in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute at Pepperdine University Law School in California, which is the #1 ranked Dispute Resolution program in the country. As the son of a Navy Officer and the founder of several businesses, he learned quickly about service to others. A.J.'s goal is to help people solve problems, plain and simple. Being in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time, for a person (or couple of people) in need, drives A.J. to continue growing his legal practice. He focuses his efforts on providing solutions that protect the interests of those who seek amicable resolutions in their lives. You can find AJ here: https://www.leapfrogdivorce.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thriving-in-chaos/message

Do you have a plan in place to protect your wealth? It's never too late to start, so pay attention to this episode as Atty. J.J. Childers ensures that you have legal processes to protect your financial and business assets while leaving a legacy for your rightful beneficiaries. Keep listening and learn carefully!    WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE   Legal structures to protect and transfer your assets  Pros and cons of wills and trusts Revocable vs. irrevocable trusts How to approach aging parents about financial protection planning Why real estate investors need an estate plan The challenges of joint-tenancy, probate, and unpaid debt   RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE #162: The Blueprint To Financial Protection - J.J. Childers AARP   ABOUT ATTY. J.J. CHILDERS J.J. Childers helps entrepreneurs, small business owners, and investors design and structure protection plans for safeguarding their assets without all of the confusion, complication, and cost often associated with the process. He is a licensed attorney who has been practicing law for the past 25 years in the areas of asset protection, estate planning, and business law. In addition to his law degree, he is studying for his LL.M in Dispute Resolution from the prestigious Straus Institute at Pepperdine University's Caruso School of Law. He completed the Certified Mediation training program through the Arkansas Dispute Resolution Commission along with advanced Negotiation and Dispute Resolution training at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School. He is the author of numerous books, courses, and training programs that provide instruction on wealth protection through innovative strategy and structuring. He is a highly sought-after speaker on a wide variety of topics related to legal protection planning and is consistently rated as a top speaker by his audiences.   CONNECT WITH ATTY. J.J. Website: JJ Childers Email: jj@jjchilders.com CONNECT WITH US: If you need help with anything in real estate, please email: invest@rpcinvest.com Reach Ron: RP Capital Leave podcast reviews and topic suggestions: iTunes Subscribe and get additional info: Get Real Estate Success Facebook Group: Cash Flow Property Facebook Community

The one question that unites divorcing parents across the world? How to protect the children from the divorce. And believe it or not, it IS possible, as our guest AJ Grossman shares. Host Michelle Dempsey-Multack and her guest AJ Grossman discussed a whole host of divorce-related topics, but none more important than how to protect your children during the divorce process - which begs with putting your adult emotions to the side in order to give your children the stability they need to succeed. A.J. Grossman graduated from San Jose State University with a degree in business administration and at the top of his Florida law school class. He immediately went on to achieve his Master of Laws degree in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute at Pepperdine University Law School in California, which is the #1 ranked Dispute Resolution program in the country. As the son of a Navy Officer and the founder of several businesses, he learned quickly about service to others. A.J.'s goal is to help people solve problems, plain and simple. Being in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time, for a person (or couple of people) in need, drives A.J. to continue growing his legal practice. He focuses his efforts on providing solutions that protect the interests of those who seek amicable resolutions in their lives. Learn more about AJ and his Florida Divorce Firm, Leap Frog Divorce, here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we discuss the following issues:   What does a good divorce look like with attorneys; what does a bad divorce look like with attorney representation?   Why do people want to hurt each other in divorce? Why do some lawyers support hurting the other spouse?   What is the primary function of a family law attorney?   What is representation supposed to look like?   The pejorative terms associated with family law attorneys that really don't serve the clients: Bulldog Attorneys; Lawyer Up; Pitbull Attorneys; Sharks. Is there a value to these words and the type of attorney associated with these words?   Can lawyers help change public opinion of them? If so, how?   Do lawyers want to change public opinion of their pejorative image?   Myth vs Reality The Judge will totally find favor with me and with what I want. The meaner the better in court. How do you get the Judge to like you and want to listen to what you have to say and request? Family Law is a credibility issue. Divorce doesn't have to tear your family apart, so why does it?   #familylaw #Judges #Attorneys #LawyerUp #PitbullAttorneys #BulldogAttorneys #Ruthless Attorneys #FamilyLawAttorneys #Litigation #Divorce #Court Trial #LawyerLimor #Court #Child Custody #ChildSupport #SpousalSupport #Mediation #CourtTV     Biography of Limor Mojdehiazad, Esq.   Limor was born in Israel and grew up in Los Angeles. She has a natural ability to put her clients at ease and lend support when its needed. Her tenacious personality, relentless negotiation skills, and understanding of the law help her achieve excellent results for her clients. Prior to opening her own law office in 2018, Limor practiced family law at two other private firms in Los Angeles County, Bet Tzedek Legal Services and, Legal Aid Foundation of Los Angeles, and the Harriet Buhai Center for Family Law. She continues to volunteer at the Harriet Buhai Center on a monthly basis to serve the indigent in need of family law services.   Limor has trained with family law judges at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University. She received her Juris Doctor from Southwestern Law School and her Bachelor of Arts degree from California State university, Northridge.   Limor is a member of the Beverly Hills Bar Association, San Fernando Bar Association, Los Angeles County Bar Association, Southwestern Family Law American Inns of Court, Provisors, and Divorce Transition Professionals. Limor is also a commentator for Court TV.   Limor is also fluent in Farsi.   Law Office of Limor Mojdehiazad, APC Beverly Hills, CA 310.256.2872 limor@limor.com @lawyerlimor on IG and Tik Tok (over 11 million followers)

When couples go through a separation or divorce, it is not uncommon for their lives to be thrown into turmoil. A.J.'s passion is to help people through the legal minefield in a kind and thoughtful way by having a client centred approach and offering emotional support to minimise their stress. A.J. talks to Lyn about divorce and the important topic of whether or not it's truly possible to walk away from a long term relationship / marriage in an amicable way. KEY TAKEAWAYS It is incumbent upon those in the legal profession to act not as instigators, but as peacemakers. Amicable solutions are always possible, it's just that people sometimes need help. Healing begins through conversation. If self-reflection can be created, it can serve to help us remember why we loved someone in the first place. This makes coming to an amicable resolution that much easier. When we come to the end of a marriage, it is not uncommon to feel a sense of loss that is akin to grief. We must be willing to show respect and treat our ex-partners the way we would want to be treated ourselves. BEST MOMENTS 'I consider myself a peacemaker and a healer' 'I do whatever I can to understand my client as a person' 'A divorce is the second most stressful life experience anyone will experience below the death of a loved one' VALUABLE RESOURCES Hearts Entwined Podcast Apple Podcasts (iTunes)SpotifyStitcher        ABOUT THE GUEST - A.J. Grossman III A.J. Grossman graduated from San Jose State University with a degree in business administration and at the top of his Florida law school class. He immediately went on to achieve his Master of Laws degree in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute at Pepperdine University Law School in California, which is the #1 ranked Dispute Resolution program in the country. As the son of a Navy Officer and the founder of several businesses, he learned quickly about service to others. A.J.'s goal is to help people solve problems, plain and simple. Being in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time, for a person (or couple of people) in need, drives A.J. to continue growing his legal practice. He focuses his efforts on providing solutions that protect the interests of those who seek amicable resolutions in their lives. Website: https://www.leapfrogdivorce.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajgrossmaniii/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Leap-Frog-Divorce-100980501286565 YouTube Channel: http://youtube.com/channel/UCpJO0TfEhDt7wLsoG7hoMrQ ABOUT THE HOST Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert Lyn's personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace. She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world's leading industry experts. Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe. HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions. Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life' centres. CONTACT METHOD lyn@hearts-entwined.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to know the perfect way to respond to a high conflict co-parent? Learn how to give a BIFF response to bring more harmony to your life! Plus, you'll hear other tips and strategies to deal with difficult texts, emails and social media posts. Guest Info: Bill has worked as the senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center, a certified family law specialist representing clients in family court, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist. In 2021, he received the Lifetime Achievement award from the Academy of Professional Mediators.He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a conjoint associate professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has delivered talks and trainings in more than 30 U.S. states and ten countries and is the author or co-author of 20 books. His popular blog on the Psychology Today website has more than 5 million views.Links:High Conflict InstituteSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderBIFF for Co-Parent CommunicationNew Ways for FamiliesDon't Alienate The KidsPodcast Info:Peaceful Co-Parenting Podcast is hosted by Bianca Balogh: mother, co-parent, entrepreneur and former news anchor/reporter. Send Bianca a feedback message, ask a question, suggest a podcast topic or guest. She wants to hear from you! bianca@peacefulparentapp.comDownload Peaceful Co-Parenting Messenger as a tool for better communication with your co-parent here: www.peacefulparentapp.com. Stay Peaceful! Need more peace in your co-parent communication? Go to peacefulparentapp.com and start setting boundaries around the communication you have with your ex. Do you find that you're ever in need of someone to talk to like a counselor or therapist? How about legal advice? The Equal Shared Parenting Program exists to help parents be their healthiest holistic selves. It's a membership program that offers discounted and free services like behavioral health, free tax prep & advice, access to financial education and more! EqualSharedParentingBenefits.org

Even if you've been in law practice for decades before switching to a mediation practice, it's one thing to be an advocate in a mediation, and it's another to be the neutral.  Developing and promoting you as a mediator involves developing your mediation skills and getting the word out about your mediation practice. In this episode, Jean Lawler–commercial + insurance mediator and arbitrator–talks about mediator training programs, other educational resources for mediators, who to notify and how to do announcements for your mediation practice, how to figure out your niche within mediation, and more.To connect with Jean Lawler, follow her on LinkedIn or find her at LawlerADR.comTo read the full episode transcript please see the Podcast Website.Links to resources mentioned in the show:Pepperdine's Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution https://law.pepperdine.edu/straus/Harvard's Program on Negotiation https://www.pon.harvard.edu/Edwards Mediation Academy https://edwardsmediationacademy.com/Clubhouse https://www.clubhouse.com/Willworkforfood.news https://www.willworkforfood.news/ (Jean serves as a volunteer moderator for this initiative to help raise donations for food banks around the world.)Law360 https://www.law360.com/

Blossom Your Awesome Episode #47 - Emotional Intelligence With Doug NollAfter more than 2 decades as a Trial Attorney Doug Roll turned peace maker and mediator. He helps people solve deep and intractable conflicts. He is also and adjunct professor of law at the Pepperdine school of law Straus Institute. He is also the cofounder of the award winning Prison of Peace project in which he teaches murderers in maximum security prisons to be peacemakers and mediators.Mr. Noll has trained mediators and leaders in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia. He has personally mediated over 1,500 disputes, including sexual abuse cases in the Catholic Church and criminal victim-offender cases.Doug Noll has written four books, his latest released on September 12, 2017, entitled De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less (Atria/Beyond Words). And there's more Mr. Noll is a jazz violinist, aircraft and helicopter pilot, ski instructor, 2nddegree black belt, tai chi master, and whitewater rafter. Questions I asked Doug:Tips for de-escalatingWhat is emotional intelligence?How do we begin to practice?Can people change?What learning to de-escalate has taught him about relationships?For more on Doug Noll checkout his website. You can check out Doug Noll's podcast here. His Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DouglasNolland his YouTube URL - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtAHXdBT1Y0Pl7SGrM_HcFwDoug has set up a special link for Blossom Your Awesome followers - click here To see more of my work go to Blossom Your Awesome. Or you can see some of my other work at suesblues.com Or follow me on instagram where I post fairly regularly and ask an inquisitive question or two weekly in hopes of getting you thinking about your life and going deeper with it. My Instagram - i_go_by_skd

In this week's episode, Chris speaks with Dr. John Lowry regarding his journey and growth to leadership. From being vulnerable to advice and criticism from other people to treating teammates with consistency, John Lowry reveals the experiences and lessons he learned from his leadership career.As a leader, John Lowry has strived to set the tone of the group, and aim to create an inclusive and encouraging working environment that truly inspires employees to achieve their fullest potential. John believes that people leave managers, not companies. It is up to the leader to create a culture that truly supports its employees.Listen in and learn from John as he reveals the truth behind negotiations and how they impact your life every day and be sure to see the impressive work he does at his new organization, The Lowry Group.More about our guest:Dr. John Lowry is a recognized authority on negotiation through his experience as a lawyer, business consultant, entrepreneur, negotiation coach, and university administrator. His results-focused, systematic approach to negotiation has been successfully implemented by thousands of professionals across the United States. He serves as president of The Lowry Group, LLC (“TLG”). At TLG, he provides negotiation training and coaching for governmental entities, major insurance companies, health care organizations, and other businesses. Dr. Lowry teaches negotiation at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law and in Vanderbilt University's Masters in Management in Health Care program.Dr. Lowry served as Senior Vice President for Advancement at Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN where he led the largest fundraising campaign in university history raising more than $250 million. In 2016, Dr. Lowry was selected by Harvard Business School to participate in its Young American Leaders Program. Dr. Lowry was also selected for the 2018 class of Leadership Tennessee and is an inductee of the Williamson County (TN) Business Hall of Fame.Prior to moving to Nashville, Dr. Lowry practiced law with Strasburger & Price, LLP in Dallas, Texas. As an attorney, he represented hospitals and health care providers in professional liability and commercial disputes. Dr. Lowry earned his bachelor's degree in speech communications from Pepperdine University and master's degree in religion from Abilene Christian University. He received his Juris Doctorate degree from Southern Methodist University's Dedman School of Law. He has also completed graduate work in dispute resolution at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law and in public policy at California State University, Sacramento while serving as a California State Assembly Fellow.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-lowr...https://lowrygroup.net/

As former chief staff counsel for both the U.S. District Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia and the First District, just two stops on her distinguished legal career, Judith Hale Norris has gotten know many of the current Supreme Court Justices very well. With Justice Stephen Breyer about to retire, it seemed a great time to reach out to her to get her informed take on this, and many other legal questions confronting our country. More than that, though both Norris and her husband Bill have woven themselves into the fabric of Ojai life, volunteering and donating to many local causes. Judith is just finishing her term as head of the Ojai Women's Fund, and has held leadership positions with the Ojai Education Foundation, the Ojai Music Festival, as well as co-chair of the Council of Distinguished Advisers, Straus Institute of Resolution and Pepperdine Caruso School of Law. Judith grew up in a small town in Massachusetts, and those values of civic engagement, service and community have served her, and Ojai, very well. Her husband Bill is a graduate of the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, who retired as a Captain and was the fourth branch of service's chief justice. We talked about the Robert Bork's confirmation hearing that went awry and how he was unfairly labeled for his role in Nixon's Saturday Night Massacre, the loss of civility in our political processes, the wonders of Ojai life and much much more. We did not talk about the Mongol Horde's archery skills, Roman metallurgy or the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

In recent celebrity news, we're watching a high-conflict co-parenting relationship play out before our eyes through Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, making co-parents around the world shudder over knowing how difficult it can be to co-parent with someone who is constantly looking for a battle. We also know that one reasonable co-parent can make a positive difference in the lives of the children who are being co-parented by one high-conflict parent, but that doesn't make dealing with it any easier. High-conflict co-parenting can make life incredibly stressful and full of unnecessary tension, which in-turn, rubs off on the kids. "The key is realizing we have to take a different approach. The secret to managing a high-conflict personality is managing your own anxiety," Bill Eddy says on this episode of Moms Moving On, and on this third visit to our show, Bill shares the secrets and strategies for how to effectively co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, and shares the "4 forget about its," that you definitely need to hear! "As early as possible you want to learn how to separate dealing with your ex or ex-to-be from getting your needs met emotionally. Don't keep trying to get it from the person who can't give it to you." Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views. For a list of of Bill's books, click here. We highly suggest The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide, Splitting, Calming Upset People with EAR, and The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Payton Silket is an embodiment of political hope. At 23, he is a minister in his church, consulting on community issues, he's graduated with a masters in Dispute Resolution from the Straus Institute at Pepperdine Law, and has already won several awards for leadership. Payton has a great TED called Embracing Reconciliation: How Hugs Can Heal Our Broken World that I really recommend. Our conversation is a journey that is both spiritual and political. Loyal to my Soil (supporting inner city kids with free baseball equipment and mentoring/coaching) https://app.mobilecause.com/e/XBB0vQ Payton's TED: https://www.ted.com/talks/payton_silket_embracing_reconciliation_how_hugs_can_heal_our_broken_world Book Payton read from: https://www.orbisbooks.com/radical-reconciliation.html

Do you plan to incorporate a property into an LLC, and are you aware of the liability protection? Take some notes as J.J. Childers ensures that everything is in place for you to effortlessly follow and benefit from everything he has in store for you. Tune in to get your hands on some gold nuggets!     WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE  Why do investors put properties into an LLC? Understanding the concept of piercing the corporate veil    How does an entity conduct a business? Difference between Trusts and LLC Strategies to consider when setting up multiple LLC's     ABOUT J.J. CHILDERS   J.J. Childers helps entrepreneurs, small business owners, and investors design and structure protection plans for safeguarding their assets without all of the confusion, complication, and cost often associated with the process. He is a licensed attorney who has been practicing law for the past 25 years in the areas of asset protection, estate planning, and business law. In addition to his law degree, he is studying for his LL.M in Dispute Resolution from the prestigious Straus Institute at Pepperdine University's Caruso School of Law. He completed the Certified Mediation training program through the Arkansas Dispute Resolution Commission along with advanced Negotiation and Dispute Resolution training at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School. He is the author of numerous books, courses, and training programs that provide instruction on wealth protection through innovative strategy and structuring. He is a highly sought-after speaker on a wide variety of topics related to legal protection planning and is consistently rated as a top speaker by his audiences.     CONNECT WITH J.J.   Email: jj@jjchilders.com   CONNECT WITH US:   If you need help with anything in real estate, please email: invest@rpcinvest.com Reach Ron: RP Capital Leave podcast reviews and topic suggestions: iTunes Subscribe and get additional info: Get Real Estate Success

"Attorneys possess many of the same characteristics as their human cousins." Someone said that. Probably me. They often bring to their jobs cognitive barriers that get in the way of negotiating resolutions to conflicts. Same for their human clients. Things like refusal to cede the moral high-ground, or stubbornly believing  there must always be someone to blame. Then there is overconfidence (i.e.,  "I am right and will win in court!") or they might enjoy selective memory, confirmation bias, and loss aversion.  Attorneys are often in the position of mediator and problem solver. What can attorneys do to more effectively achieve satisfactory outcomes when the parties bring in their own set of human characteristics and emotions? Joining me to discuss this is  Jeff Trueman, an experienced, full-time mediator and arbitrator. Jeff helps parties resolve a wide variety of litigated and pre-suit disputes and interpersonal problems concerning catastrophic injuries, professional malpractice, wrongful death, employment, family business dissolution, real property, estate, and domestic relations. He is a panel mediator for the American Arbitration Association; a  panel arbitrator for the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority; a Distinguished Fellow of the International Academy of Mediators; a recipient of the Paul A. Dorf Alternative Dispute Resolution Memorial Award by the Bar Association of Baltimore City; and will soon hold an LLM from the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the prestigious Pepperdine School of Law. Finally, did I really suggest that having a mediator with a bad hip could help achieve a faster resolution? Did I really give a review of the HBO original movie Oslo, which I consider a must-see for anyone interested in conflict resolution? Did I really compare married couples during Covid-19 lockdowns to angry bees in a jar? Listen and find out. Spoiler alert: Yes. Yes I did.  This podcast is the audio companion to the Journal on Emerging Issues in Litigation, a collaborative project between HB Litigation Conferences and the Fastcase legal research family, which includes Full Court Press, Law Street Media, and Docket Alarm. The podcast itself is a joint effort between HB and Law Street Media. If you have comments or wish to participate in one our projects, or want to tell me how Jeff really got you thinking, please drop me a note at Editor@LitigationConferences.com.Tom HagyLitigation Enthusiast and Host of the Emerging Litigation Podcast

Bill Eddy is returning to the Stay Young America Show today! He's the High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views. Today we're talking about his book The 5 Types of People that will Ruin Your Life. 2:09 What inspired you to write the book The 5 Types of People that will Ruin Your Life? 4:12 Division in the country 5:10 What's the difference between high conflict (HC) and personality disorders? The I'm Superior, You're Nothing Type The Love You, Hate You Type The Cruel, Con Artist Type The Highly Suspicious Type The Dramatic, Accusatory Type https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Check out The 5 Types of People that will Ruin Your Life here. “Executive Medicine Moment” At Executive Medicine of Texas we understand that true health can only be found when you treat the patient as a whole. That's why our Executive Physical Exams are second to none in the amount of testing and information we gather prior to making a wellness plan for our patients. Learn more about how you can take charge of your health at http://www.EMTexas.com Website: www.StayYoungAmerica.com Twitter: @StayYoungPod Facebook: @Stay Young America! Join us next time as we always bring you information you can use.

Learn how to protect yourself while divorcing or co-parenting with someone that has a high conflict personality in this episode featuring Bill Eddy, an author, attorney, former therapist and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. He discusses this important topic centered around the updated second edition of his most popular book: Splitting.  Guest Info: Bill has worked as the senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center, a certified family law specialist representing clients in family court, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist. In 2021, he received the Lifetime Achievement award from the Academy of Professional Mediators.He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a conjoint associate professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has delivered talks and trainings in more than 30 U.S. states and ten countries and is the author or co-author of 20 books. His popular blog on the Psychology Today website has more than 5 million views.Links:High Conflict InstituteSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderBIFF for Co-Parent CommunicationNew Ways for FamiliesDon't Alienate The KidsPodcast Info:Peaceful Co-Parenting Podcast is hosted by Bianca Balogh: mother, co-parent, entrepreneur and former news anchor/reporter. Send Bianca a feedback message, ask a question, suggest a podcast topic or guest. She wants to hear from you! bianca@peacefulparentapp.comDownload Peaceful Co-Parenting Messenger as a tool for better communication with your co-parent here: www.peacefulparentapp.com. Stay Peaceful! Need more peace in your co-parent communication? Go to peacefulparentapp.com and start setting boundaries around the communication you have with your ex. Do you find that you're ever in need of someone to talk to like a counselor or therapist? How about legal advice? The Equal Shared Parenting Program exists to help parents be their healthiest holistic selves. It's a membership program that offers discounted and free services like behavioral health, free tax prep & advice, access to financial education and more! EqualSharedParentingBenefits.org

Attorney, mediator, therapist, and author—Bill Eddy—provides us with a master class of techniques he has perfected over his 30-year career in high-conflict divorce. Get his BIFF communication method, 4 co-parenting rules, and top 3 parenting tips of all time—right here on the podcast!Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. developed the high conflict personality theory to explain the driving forces behind people who present the most challenging behaviors. He is an expert on managing disputes involving high conflict situations and 5 high conflict personality types, including a subset of those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, histrionic, and paranoid personality disorders. He has trained over 200,000 professionals in 10 countries on understanding and managing high conflict disputes, including lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners' association managers, law enforcement, therapists and others.He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. 4 things that define high-conflict personalities:Preoccupation with blaming others and doesn't taking personal responsibility.All or nothing thinking; Want total control (of kids, house, money, etc.).Unmanaged emotions (e.g. burst into tears, etc.) that the situation doesn't merit.Extreme behaviors (e.g.: telling lies to officials, spreading rumors, punching holes in wall, hitting, hiding children, stealing money).Bill rarely recommends no-contact orders of parents with children. Oftentimes, this leads to kids fantasizing about what the parent is like, that doesn't fit the reality. It escalates the warfare so high that it's hard to ever reach peace after. It's almost always better to just have supervised visitation (like at a therapists' office) if there's some kind of concern about safety.Tips for dealing with high-conflict exes: Manage the relationship at an arms' length; manage how you write and speak to them and structure things so there's not much contact (like parallel parenting). Realize that it's more about emotions than intentional behavior. They communicate emotionally, and children unconsciously absorb that. Don't bad mouth other parent.4 strategies for co-parenting your kids when your ex is high conflict (4 big skills for life):Flexible thinkingManaged emotionsModerate behaviorChecking yourselfUse BIFF method to communicate:Brief (paragraph is usually enough, even if it's in response to a tome)Informative (straight info, don't need justification)Friendly (make it positive not negative; “thanks for telling me your concerns”)Firm (end conversation without asking for follow up questions, or if you have a request, keep it unemotional and include a due date)What to look for in an attorney:Need a lawyer with 5+ years of experience in high-conflict divorce, and has empathy. You want someone who's not afraid to go to court, but isn't overly litigious, and someone who is able to negotiate settlement. Top 3 parenting skills:Unconditional love and affection for your childManaging your own stress; you're emotionally available for your child and that models for your children how to manage stressDemonstrate healthy adult communication and negotiation. Let your child see you doing this with other adults if not spouse/ex.

Our guest today is Bill Eddy, he walks us through the different situations you may face when you´re mediating with a narcissist. How do you negotiate with someone in good faith who lives to see you lose? That's what it's like negotiating with a Narcissist. Bill and Rich talk about the qualities of Narcissists and how to win while they win. Bill Eddy is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist with twelve years of experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. He is the author or co-author of twenty books, including two award-winners, and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4.0 million views. Read more about relationships on our blog. Follow us on social media: Facebook Instagram Pinterest

No one knows more about how to calm people in a crisis than Bill Eddy.  A psychologist and a lawyer, he has dedicated his life and career to dealing with people in high conflict situations and giving people real tools and easy to remember resources to use to be able to manage disputes in a way that makes their lives easier.  In this episode he talks about how to co-parent with narcissists, how to diffuse conversations in texts, emails, or in person.  Whether this is at work, a personal situation or wherever you're dealing with a high conflict personality, this is a must listen episode.   More About Bill Eddy:  Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views. Grab Bill's book Calming People with EAR right here:   https://amzn.to/2UHE1nQ Grab Bill's book  BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails and Social Media Posts  https://amzn.to/3D6PaQu  Grab Bill's book The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying an Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths and Other High Conflict Personalities  https://amzn.to/3B9WZDm    THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR INFORMATION:   Soberlink is a comprehensive alcohol monitoring system. Combining a breathalyzer with wireless connectivity, Soberlink automatically documents proof of sobriety in real-time, which gives clients a sense of accomplishment while rebuilding trust with others. Features Adaptive Facial Recognition technology Technology to detect physical tampers Real-time text message reminders and Alerts Customizable scheduling Automated reporting options Get an exclusive $50 off your device by emailing info@soberlink.com and mentioning Negotiate Your Best Life Grab your free resource guide RIGHT HERE! ____________________________________________________________________ For more information on REBECCA ZUNG, ESQ. visit her website www.rebeccazung.com and follow her on Instagram: @rebeccazung and YouTube! GRAB YOUR FREE CRUSH MY NEGOTIATION PREP WORKSHEET RIGHT HERE!  SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL RIGHT HERE.  Grab a copy of Rebecca's book, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win (foreword written by Robert Shapiro).   It went straight to being a #1 bestseller the first day it was launched!  Find out what everyone is so excited about - get the book RIGHT HERE!  To get your copy of Rebecca's bestselling book, Breaking Free: A Step by Step Guide to Achieving Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Freedom, please visit the Amazon website to order it RIGHT HERE.   

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Amanda Singer. Amanda is Co-Owner of West Coast Family Mediation Center. She is a Licensed Attorney, Certified Mediator, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Amanda's key area of practice is mediation.  According to Amanda, mediation is not going to work in all situations, but it does in a lot more than people realize. Some couples might agree on everything and they just might need more help with getting things done correctly. And there are those that agree on nothing. At least they have to both agree on mediation. Communication is not easy. Make sure you utilize the mediator's expertise to help you through this process, especially if you have kids.  Here are some of Amanda's recommendations about mediation and communication during the divorce process: Mediation is a voluntary process and both partners have to be willing to participate, compromise, and communicate.   Once you're already in mediation, share your concerns with the mediator. Think about how you're communicating with your spouse, or soon be your ex-spouse during the process. It is important to take a step back and think about what it is you're saying and how it is going to be received.  Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Amanda Singer, Co-Owner and Professional Family Mediator, Licensed Attorney, Certified Mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.  Here's how Amanda describes herself: I am a proud co-owner and professional family mediator of West Coast Family Mediation Center (parent company of San Diego Family Mediation Center and California Family Mediation Center in Orange County). We are dedicated to helping families deal with conflict constructively and find ways to improve communication, solve problems, and reach agreements on legal and non-legal issues. I have seen litigation destroy relationships. I am passionate about mediation, which helps our clients maintain a relationship and get to the heart of the issues that are causing conflict. We help families through all stages of life including pre-marital mediation, marital mediation, divorce mediation, parenting plans, blended family mediation, and estate planning distribution. Our goal is to help educate you on the benefits of mediation and see how we can help. I have my JD from Chapman University School of Law as well as my Masters in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute of Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law. I have completed extensive mediation training, including certification as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram| YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

Navigating complex and tense conversations can easily result in emotional grenades being tossed across the room and little to nothing being resolved.  Today we speak to Bill Eddy, well known for his work in the high conflict area  about How to Effectively Communicate When Tensions Run High.   Bill talks to us about his latest book, “Calming Upset People with EAR” an acronym for Empathy, Attention and Respect. Bill's EAR tool is designed to help in HC conversations and with HC personalities.  While at first the thought of showing Empathy, Attention and Respect to someone who has caused you pain seems counterintuitive and perhaps counter productive, as you listen to Bill explain the power and impact of this simple approach to tense conversations, you will be tempted to give it a try!   Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views.   Request a Free Jump Start Call at https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/jumpstart   For more information on Journey Beyond Divorce visit:  www.jbddivorcesupport.com

0:56 About Bill: Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views. 2:37 Who needs this? 2:55 Why this book? What was the inspiration  5:06 How's the EAR technique different from reflective or active listening?  7:02 Can these EAR statements be used on everyone?  8:58 Dr.Anderson have you used these techniques on upset patients? 10:22 The importance of empathy in today's world.  12:03 It needs to be sincere 14:43 Catching other people's emotions 17:00 Can you use humor with the EAR technique? 18:17 How can we calm ourselves using EAR techniques?  21:13 Gifting the book “Executive Medicine Moment” At Executive Medicine of Texas we understand that true health can only be found when you treat the patient as a whole. That's why our Executive Physical Exams are second to none in the amount of testing and information we gather prior to making a wellness plan for our patients. Learn more about how you can take charge of your health at http://www.EMTexas.com  Website: StayYoungAmerica.com  Twitter: @StayYoungPod  Facebook: @Stay Young Media, LLC      

Divorcing a narcissist may seem like an impossible, uphill battle, but thanks to high-conflict experts like Bill Eddy, LCSW & Esq., there are ways to to make the impossible much more possible. In this episode of Moms Moving On, we are joined again by Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute. We not only discuss how to divorce a narcissist, we also cover how to handle the divorce process with a narcissist, how to co-parent with a narcissist, and how to take your emotional power back, so that you can have a happily ever after without your narcissist ex-spouse meddling in your life. We also discuss his new book, Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder and how much value it can bring to the life of somebody trying to navigate the divorce process with a narcissist. Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. He is the author or co-author of twenty books and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4.0 million views. Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of family members who have a loved one with BPD to an international forefront through her website, www.bpdcentral.com, and the Welcome to Oz online support community. Through Eggshells Press, she offers family members a wide variety of more specialized booklets and other materials. She was also instrumental in the formation of the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (PDAN), a not-for-profit organization. Kreger is author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and The Essential Family Member Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder. She speaks and gives workshops about BPD internationall Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. Utilizing a proven method for defusing antagonistic interactions, Eddy will discuss how to address a variety of potentially contentious situations involving angry customers, clients, and patients. Following the success of his previous books, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life and Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths, Eddy's latest title is sure to resonate with those seeking to manage high-conflict situations. Utilizing a proven method for defusing antagonistic interactions, Eddy shows readers how to address a variety of potentially contentious situations, including family conflicts, workplace disputes, neighbor and stranger confrontations, emotional political discussions, and circumstances involving angry customers, clients, and patients. Bill Eddy was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com, with over five million views. For more on Bill Eddy, visit www.highconflictinstitute.com.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. Utilizing a proven method for defusing antagonistic interactions, Eddy will discuss how to address a variety of potentially contentious situations involving angry customers, clients, and patients. Following the success of his previous books, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life and Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths, Eddy's latest title is sure to resonate with those seeking to manage high-conflict situations. Utilizing a proven method for defusing antagonistic interactions, Eddy shows readers how to address a variety of potentially contentious situations, including family conflicts, workplace disputes, neighbor and stranger confrontations, emotional political discussions, and circumstances involving angry customers, clients, and patients. Bill Eddy was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com, with over five million views. For more on Bill Eddy, visit www.highconflictinstitute.com.

Sometimes with a high-conflict ex-spouse, it feels like you just can't win. Like no matter how hard you try, you'll still be fighting forever. Like you could have just stayed married if you were still going to deal with this much drama. That's where Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. comes in. As the founder of the High Conflict Institute and with years of dealing with high-conflict individuals under his belt, there is no better resource for how to co-parent with your high-conflict ex-spouse. Personality disorders like narcissism and borderline personality disorder are what Bill knows best, so if your ex fits that category, you're in the right hands. Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views. Check out the amazing books we reference in this episode, here.

Karen Aurit, LAMFT, is Co-Founder and Director of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation in Scottsdale, Arizona. Karen is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in mindfulness theory and stress reduction techniques. Karen is an Adjunct Professor at The Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law. She is a member of The Academy of Professional Family Mediators and Conference Co-Chair for The Arizona Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. She holds her Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University and her Mediation Certification from The Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law. She holds her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/freeman-means-business/support

This week we are discussing how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. Joining me is my guest Bill Eddy. Bill is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. Bill is also the author of BIFF™: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, and the just-released, BIFF For Coparent Communication. If you are in any kind of high-conflict situation, you need this book. Seriously.  During our conversation, Bill shares his expertise along with tips and techniques to help maneuver difficult co-parent texts, emails, and social media posts. Whether you are in a high-conflict co-parent situation or simply co-parenting with an ex, this episode is full of valuable information you can put to use immediately. Show Highlights High-conflict personalities and keeping high-conflict divorce out of the courtroom. How Bill developed the method of communication he uses in high-conflict situations. Why it is important to be brief when writing emails or written correspondence with a co-parent.  Why you should avoid labeling a co-parent as a blame speaker, high-conflict person, or as someone who has a personality disorder. Plus, what you can do instead.  Some techniques to help turn a high-conflict situation around or at least defuse one. The art of learning how and when to take a PAUSE. How to get information to a co-parent, in a friendly tone, and then end the conversation.  Learn More About Bill: Bill Eddy is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years’ experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries and is the author or co-author of sixteen books (as of 2020) and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4 million views. Resources & Links: High Conflict InstituteBill on Instagram High Conflict Institute on Facebook The Thrive Fund

Three professors from Pepperdine's Rick J Caruso School of Law, Professor Michael Helfand, Dr. Sukhsimranjit Singh and Professor Tiffany Williams discuss Pepperdine's Christian mission and spiritual experiences from their diverse faith traditions. They share wisdom from their own experiences an Orthodox Jew, a Sikh, and a Christian. Michael Helfand is a professor of law and Associate Dean for faculty and research. He's an expert on religious law and religious Liberty as well as a frequent author and lecturer. Sukhsimranjit Singh is the managing Director of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution. Dr Singh travels all over the world speaking about dispute resolution. Tiffany Williams is an Assistant Professor of legal research and writing. Professor Williams has extensive experience in law firms and as an administrative law judge and she is an ordained Christian minister and advocate for the global advancement of women and girls.

 Transcript   Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder and Training Director of the High Conflict Institute. He obtained his law degree from the University of San Diego, a master’s degree of social work from San Diego State University, and a psychology degree from Case Western Reserve University. He has taught at the University of San Diego School of Law and the National Judicial College. Eddy currently provides training to professionals worldwide on the subject of managing high-conflict personalities and is a part-time faculty member at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law and at Monash University Law Chambers. He has written 15 books, the latest of which is Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths… And How We Can Stop! He lives in California. HighConflictInstitute.com NewWays4Families.com

A transcript of this episode is available here. On this episode of Perspectives, Goodwin's Chairman David Hashmall interviews Jerry Kang, UCLA's first Vice Chancellor for Equity, Diversity and Inclusion. Professor Kang explains the concept of implicit bias and shares his thoughts on ways to improve diversity and inclusion in the legal industry. In addition to his role as the Vice Chancellor for Equity, Diversity and Inclusion, Professor Kang is Distinguished Professor of Law at UCLA School of Law, Distinguished Professor of Asian American Studies (by courtesy), and the inaugural Korea Times — Hankook Ilbo Chair in Korean American Studies and Law. Professor Jerry Kang’s teaching and research interests include civil procedure, race, and communications. On race, he has focused on the nexus between implicit bias and the law, with the goal of advancing a “behavioral realism” that imports new scientific findings from the mind sciences into legal discourse and policymaking. He is also an expert on Asian American communities, and has written about hate crimes, affirmative action, the Japanese American internment, and its lessons for the “War on Terror.” He is a co-author of Race, Rights, and Reparation: The Law and the Japanese American Internment (2d ed. Wolters Kluwer 2013). On communications, Professor Kang has published on the topics of privacy, pervasive computing, mass media policy, and cyber-race (the techno-social construction of race in cyberspace). He is also the author of Communications Law & Policy: Cases and Materials (4th edition Foundation 2012), a leading casebook in the field. During law school, Professor Kang was a supervising editor of the Harvard Law Review and Special Assistant to Harvard University’s Advisory Committee on Free Speech. After graduation, he clerked for Judge William A. Norris of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, then worked at the National Telecommunications and Information Administration on cyberspace policy. He joined UCLA in Fall 1995 and has been recognized for his teaching by being elected Professor of the Year in 1998; receiving the law school’s Rutter Award for Excellence in Teaching in 2007; and being chosen for the highest university-wide distinction, the University Distinguished Teaching Award (The Eby Award for the Art of Teaching) in 2010. At UCLA, he was founding co-Director of the Concentration for Critical Race Studies, the first program of its kind in American legal education. He is also founding co-Director of PULSE: Program on Understanding Law, Science, and Evidence. During 2003-05, Prof. Kang was Visiting Professor at both Harvard Law School and Georgetown Law Center. During the 2013-14 academic year, he was in residence at the Straus Institute for the Advanced Study of Law & Justice at NYU School of Law as a Straus Fellow as well as the David M. Friedman Fellow. Prof. Kang is a member of the American Law Institute, has chaired the American Association of Law School’s Section on Defamation and Privacy, has served on the Board of Directors of the Electronic Privacy Information Center, and has received numerous awards including the World Technology Award for Law and the Vice President’s “Hammer Award” for Reinventing Government. More information about Prof. Kang is available at http://jerrykang.net

Judith Gordon, founder of LeaderEsQ, is an attorney-coach and lecturer at UCLA School of Law who transitioned from practicing law into coaching to focus on equipping lawyers with the mental fitness and performance tools they need to thrive in practice and in life. She trained in emotional intelligence coaching with the Institute of Social and Emotional Intelligence and in mediation at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution. Judith was director of marketing and professional development at a mid-sized law firm for close to a decade. She works with lawyers to create a personalized, holistic approach to building a sustainable career. Judith writes and presents regularly at law firms and conferences on performance, and being a healthy, happy, high-achieving professional. What you’ll learn about in this episode: What it means to be a “whole lawyer,” and why it is important Why multitasking isn’t effective and how it can actually hurt your productivity rather than help it The importance of mindset and its connection to productivity, efficiency, and overall satisfaction How managing your energy affects productivity and how to transition your mindset to accommodate the task at hand to produce better results How to find true satisfaction in one’s professional career after feeling overworked and burdened with stress Ways to contact Judith: Website: www.leaderesq.net Email: judith@leaderesq.net LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/judith-gordon-9465b11 Twitter: @judithsgordon

Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training on this subject to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners’ association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists and others. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, Australia, France and Sweden. As an attorney, Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law for six years and he is on the part-time faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College. He is the author of numerous articles and several books, including: High Conflict People in Legal Disputes, It’s All YOUR Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything, SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns. He is also the developer of the “New Ways for Families” method of managing potentially high conflict families in and out of family court. He is currently developing a method for managing potentially high conflict employees titled “New Ways for Work.” Key Takeaways: [1:45] What a high conflict person is, and the 4 key characteristics they have [4:35] If Steve Jobs was a high conflict person, and how he managed it successfully [8:35] The CARS method in a nutshell [13:55] How lawyers can sometimes harm the resolution of cases [18:00] How to communicate with high conflict people (including lawyers) in a way that doesn't raise the ante but is still effective [20:40] The app Jason loves to use because going from written word to voice erases a lot of tension and error [23:50] How the state of the media companies are harming us Website: www.highconflictinstitute.com

After 25 years in high stakes business litigation, Victoria Pynchon took a mediation course that changed her life. Nearly a decade after receiving her degree in conflict resolution from the world-famous Straus Institute, her business, She Negotiates Consulting and Training is prospering by helping individual women close their own personal gender wage gap. Going out on her own she discovered how hard it was to attract business. She introduced herself online. “Now, everything I do is sourced in social media, blogging and networking on the internet, and my business is international.”

Episode 012: How To Become A Master Negotiator With Dr. John Lowry   John and I met almost 10 years ago while I attended one of his negotiation training classes.  Like most people, I struggle to sit in a room and listen to someone present for 2 days.  In the case of John’s training, that was NOT the case.  It still is the greatest training course I’ve ever attended.  So much so that I have attended it 5 more times since then.  This conversation took off from there and it was so much fun.  John has become a friend of mine and I’m very fortunate to be able to speak with him on a regular basis about all parts of leadership and life.   “Negotiation is a strategic communication process to get a deal or to resolve a problem.”– Dr. John Lowry   Welcome to Episode 010 with the President of The Lowry Group Dr. John Lowry Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher Radio.   The Learning Leader Show   “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” – John Wooden   Some Questions I Ask: Why do many people grasp the ideas you articulate intellectually and yet fail to implement them in a meaningful way? How do you so effectively use story telling in your presentations? How can we all become better story tellers? Why do you think there is a negative connotation with someone who is a “shrewd” negotiator? What negative self-talk have you had to overcome? Do you operate out of a sense of obligation to anything or anyone?   “Leadership is about relationships.” – Dr. John Lowry   In This Episode, You Will Learn: How to know when to compete or when to cooperate in a negotiation The importance and the art of storytelling The power of productive paranoia How to deal with self-doubt The people/things John feels obligated to The 5 Approaches to Conflict How people can implement what they’ve learned The thought process we have surrounding dreaming big   Continue Learning Go to John's website   Read Great By Choice Read about one of John’s mentors: Donald Miller   You may also like these episodes:   Episode 001: How to become a master connector with Jayson Gaignard from MasterMind Talks Episode 002: How to take over and set bigger goals with Chris Brogan Episode 003: The incredibly interesting story of Maurice Clarett and how he built a 6 figure income after spending 4 years in prison Episode 009: The Creative Leader’s Guide to making money by thinking outside of the Box with Jason Zook (SurfrApp)   Did you enjoy the podcast? As I said before, John has become a good friend of mine and I’m incredibly lucky to be able to speak with him on a regular basis.  He is an absolute professional and is a phenomenal presenter.  Who do you know that needs to hear this?  Send them to The Learning Leader Show!   Bio: John Lowry is a lawyer, professional speaker, and entrepreneur. He serves as the Vice President for External Affairs at Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN. He previously served as associate dean of the Lipscomb University College of Business where he founded Lipscomb’s School of Executive Education. He serves as an assistant professor of management and regularly teaches negotiation courses at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law. He is a Founding Board Member of the Williamson County Chamber of Commerce and serves on the board of The Blakeford at Green Hills, a continuing care retirement community in Nashville, TN. Dr. Lowry also serves as the president of the The Lowry Group (TLG). At TLG, he provides negotiation, mediation, and conflict management training and facilitation for major insurance companies, healthcare organizations, and other businesses. Throughout Lowry’s career, he has trained thousands of professionals around the country. Prior to moving to Nashville, he practiced law with Strasburger & Price, LLP in Dallas, Texas   Episode edited by the greatJ Scott Donnell      

Shortly after the CPR Institute's Annual Meeting early this year, IDN host Mike McIlwrath sat down for a discussion on the future of U.S. arbitration with Thomas J. Stipanowich, academic director of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, at the Pepperdine University School of Law, in Malibu, Calif. Tom and Mike discuss in detail how domestic arbitration can be improved with the American College of Commercial Arbitrators' 2009 protocols for expeditious cost-effective commercial arbitration.