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22 episodes with eft emotionally focused therapy
5 episodes with eft emotionally focused therapy
In this powerful episode of the We Heart Therapy Youtube Channel and podcast, on our series EFT Talk, host Dr. Belle (Anabelle Bugatti aka Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT) is joined by certified AZ EFT Trainer Rachel Thomas, LMFT, to explore Attachment-Based Suicide Assessment within the framework of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
Forgiveness: The Misunderstood Path to Healing and Human Intimacy In this heartfelt and powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaels dive into the complex, often misunderstood topic of forgiveness—especially within relationships affected by betrayal and emotional wounds. Using real-life role-play, personal insight, and professional wisdom, they explore what forgiveness is—and isn't. Together, they examine the common misconceptions surrounding forgiveness, such as equating it with blind trust or minimizing deep pain. They clarify the distinctions between love, trust, and forgiveness, and how rebuilding trust must be an intentional and ongoing process. Drawing from Janis Abrahms Spring's framework in How Can I Forgive You?, they outline four types of forgiveness: Cheap forgiveness, Refusal to forgive, Acceptance, Genuine forgiveness Through this lens, they highlight the importance of emotional honesty, boundaries, and the reparative dance between the one who was hurt and the one who caused harm. MaryAnn also introduces a reflective visualization exercise called “The Field of Grace”, inviting listeners to explore how and when to release the emotional burdens they've been carrying. Both Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn compassionately affirm that forgiveness is a process—not a moment—and that true healing often comes in unexpected ways. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the difficult terrain of relational repair, self-awareness, or trauma recovery. --- References & Resources Mentioned - Spring, J. A. (2004). How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To. HarperCollins. - Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong*. Spiegel & Grau. (Referenced for the "marble jar" trust analogy) - Skinner, K. (2017). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal: The Essential Tools for Healing. KSkinner Publishing. - Visualization Exercise: The Field of Grace, shared by therapist and colleague Karen Strange - Concepts referenced from EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and betrayal trauma research - PTSD criteria related to betrayal trauma, particularly avoidance and emotional isolation
In this episode of *We Heart Therapy*, join host Dr. Belle, aka Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT (Certified EFT Supervisor/Therapist), as she welcomes special guest Dr. Simona Herb, EFT Trainer from Romania. Together, they explore how to think systemically in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) —a crucial perspective for therapists working with couples, families and relationships.
Exploring Parts Work in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
How Does The Daily Trauma of War Impact Stepfamilies? The trauma inflicted on stepfamilies is an aspect of war not often considered - but has a very real impact. In this episode, we are talking with Sigal Kaplan, a family counselor in Israel specializing in blended families. Sigal has done groundbreaking and captivating work around the impact of the ongoing war on Israeli stepfamilies. About Sigal: Sigal Kaplan is a family counselor specialist who works with stepfamilies, as well as families dealing with divorce. She teaches a course at Kibbutzim College for counselors and educators about divorce and stepfamilies. Sigal also founded the "Children First" project (2014-2018), supporting children and families dealing with divorce. She has a B.A in Education and M.A in Organizational Consulting. Sigal is certified in parental coordination and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), and has certifications from the Adler Institute, the Ministry of Education, and the Step Family Foundation. She is married to Aaron, stepmom to Noa, and mom to Ariel, Ben, and Zoe. You Can Find Sigal: sigalkaplan.com On Instagram And Don't Forget: Follow me on Instagram and TikTok for all my latest. Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, dealing with your partner's ex, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It's super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I'll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It's normally $49 and it's a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you'll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!
In this episode of We Heart Therapy, host Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, Certified EFT Supervisor and Therapist, sits down with EFT Supervisor Chad Imhoff "The EFT Guy" and his wife, Angela Imhoff (The Real Imhoffs), to discuss the role of relapse in addiction recovery. Specializing in addiction and using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Together, we discuss expert insights for therapists working with clients dealing with addictions, offering practical strategies for supporting couples and individuals. Tune in to learn more about how understanding relapse can enhance therapeutic outcomes for those struggling with addiction. Chad and Angela also share their experiences from working with couples in Arkansas and hosting their own podcast on addiction recovery. For more information about Chad and Angela "The Real Imhoffs" visit: https://www.therealimhoffs.com https://www.successinvulnerability.com Listen to their podcast at: https://therealimhoffs.podbean.com For more information on your host, Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, please visit: https://DrBelle.com https://www.LasVegasMarriageCounselin... https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.snveft.com For more information on EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy pioneered by Sue Johnson, or to find an EFT Therapist in your area, please visit: https://www.iceeft.com https://www.drsuejohnson.com
In this insightful video, join Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, a Certified EFT Supervisor & Therapist, and EFT Trainer Sandra Taylor, PhD, Director of the British Center for EFT, as they explore the nuanced terrain of working with triggers in trauma-trauma couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Drawing from their extensive clinical experience, Dr. Belle and Sandra offer practical strategies and interventions for identifying and navigating triggers within the context of trauma, fostering healing and connection in relationships. Whether you're a therapist seeking to deepen your understanding or a couple navigating these challenges yourselves, this video provides valuable insights into the transformative power of EFT in addressing trauma within intimate relationships. For more information on EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy, please visit: https://www.iceeft.com For more information on special guest Sandra Taylor, PhD, visit: https://www.AcREEFTtraining.com email address: AcRE.EFTtraining@gmail.com British EFT Centre www.beftcentre.org For more information on your host visit: https://www.DrBelle.com https://www.LasVegasMarriageCounselin... https://www.SNVEFT.com
Many EFT Therapists have become interested in doing Intensives for their couples but aren't sure how to dive in. In a more focused format, therapists can help their couples on a journey of connection, healing, and growth with our Couples Intensive Retreat featuring Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Many couples are longing to deepen their bond, communicate more effectively, and rediscover the love that brought them together. Join We Heart Therapy host Dr. Belle and special guest Jim Thomas, EFT Trainer Emeritus for a wonderful discussion where you'll delve into applying principles of EFT, a proven approach renowned for its effectiveness in strengthening relationships, in a couples intensives/retreat weekend format. For more information on EFT, please visit: https://www.iceeft.com and https://www.drsuejohnson.com Jim Thomas is the former Executive Director of the Colorado Center for EFT in the Denver area. Find more information on Jim Thomas, visit his website: https://jimthomas.care/ or https://www.coloradoeft.com/ For more information on your host Dr. Belle, or to schedule and intensive with Dr. Belle, please visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounselin... https://www.drbelle.com https://www.wehearttherapy.com https://www.snveft.com
Relaties, ik krijg er heel vaak vragen over. Vandaag vertel ik iets over relaties en relatieproblemen vanuit de werkwijze van EFT, ofwel Emotionally Focused Therapy. Pak pen en papier erbij om mee te tekenen en er je voordeel mee te doen! En ik zoek een medewerker in m'n bedrijf! Een technisch / administratief assistent. Iets voor jou? Ik licht graag toe wat ik zoek! Neem contact met me op via info@wienekegerrits.nl. Voor De Psychiater Praat LIVE (dag) zijn nog kaartjes beschikbaar! Het gaat plaatsvinden op vrijdag 24 NOVEMBER 2023! Je kunt een kaartje kopen via deze link: https://wienekegerrits.nl/livedag Wil je me volgen of iets vragen? Je mag me altijd een persoonlijk bericht sturen! Een DM via Instagram bijvoorbeeld? Ik reageer altijd. https://instagram.com/wieneke_gerrits?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= https://www.linkedin.com/in/wieneke-gerrits-b7826346 Ps heb jij de podcast al beoordeeld? Ik zou het heel fijn vinden als je dat wilt doen!! Dat kan in spotify door in de HOOFDpagina van de podcast (dus niet IN een aflevering) op de ster te klikken waar nu staat 4,8 ⭐️ (100). Als je deze aanklikt kun jij ook een beoordeling geven. Bij Apple podcast moet je eerst naar beneden scrollen, onder alle afleveringen zie je dan ‘beoordelingen en recensies'. Je kunt daar zelfs een stukje schrijven! Link naar mijn actieplan: https://wienekegerrits.nl/aanvraag-stappenplan info@wienekegerrits.nl www.wienekegerrits.nl
Emotionally Focused Therapy is an attachment-based model working in the zone of live emotions to help create second-order change. Join We Heart Therapy Host Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT and Jim Thomas, ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer & Therapist as they discuss how to get unstuck from intellectualizing emotions to going deeper into connecting to real live emotion in session. For more information on EFT and Sue Johnson, click below: http://drsuejohnson.com or http://www.iceeft.com Jim Thomas is one of the founders of the Colorado Center for EFT in Denver. Find more information on Jim Thomas, visit his website: https://jimthomas.care/ or https://www.coloradoeft.com/ For more information on your host visit: http://www.LasVegasMarriageCounseling... http://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.drbelle.com
Are the "physical" symptoms of depression specific or non-specific? How do you treat schizophrenia with TEAM? Why don't more shrinks help themselves? Healthy vs unhealthy negative feelings-- what's the difference? Questions answered in this podcast: 1. Laura asks: Why don't you include the physical symptoms of depression in your assessment tests? 2. Fred asks: How would you use TEAM-CBT to treat individuals with schizophrenia? 3. Author not known: Why don't the therapists you treat with TEAM treat themselves using self-help techniques? 4. Zach: How does David understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions? Is there any overlap between EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and David's TEAM-CBT? The following are David's written responses to these questions. However, in the podcast, Rhonda and David discuss them, and their answers together may differ or enlarge on the material below. Also, in some cases, the written answers contain additional information not included in the live podcast. 1. Laura asks: Why don't you include the physical symptoms of depression in your assessment tests? Author: Laura asks a question about post #248: “David and Rhonda Answer Your Questions about Exercise, Empathy, Euphoria, Exposure, Psychodynamic Therapy, and more!” Comment: Fabulous, David. Bless you. Have you done a show on assessments? I'll be honest about my confusion. Some of the measures that you have developed almost seem too simple to be accurate. For example, the depression test isn't sensitive to any of the physical manifestations of the illness. Anyway, I was just curious about that. David's Reply Thanks, Laura! Good questions! First, the so-called physical symptoms of depression are non-specific and not uniquely associated with depression. Only the core emotional symptoms are good indicators of depression: feeling down, hopeless, worthless, unmotivated, and not enjoying life. If you want to measure physical symptoms, they won't give you much information about depression, but at least they need to be worded correctly, which they aren't in most assessment tols. For example, you can measure weight gain, OR weight loss, in single and separate items, but not in the same item. But if you go to a mall and ask how many people have had weight gain, you'll probably find that more than 50% report weight gain, but this is rarely due to depression, rather it is due to overeating! Similarly, a significant fraction will say yes to a question about weight loss, and in the vast majority of cases this will be due to dieting, not depression. Similarly with the other poorly thought out physical symptoms, like trouble sleeping. The reliability of my depression measures has typically been .95 or better, as compared with measures like the Beck or PHQ9 that have only .78 to .80 reliability coefficients (called “coefficient alpha.”) I have observed a phenomenal lack of critical thinking behind most current psychological tests for depression, anxiety, and other variables of interest to clinicians and researchers. You also asked about apps for anxiety, like OCD, as opposed to depression. The Feeling Good App causes rapid and significant reductions in, not one, but seven categories of negative feelings, including feelings of depression, anxiety, guilty/shame, inadequacy, loneliness, hopelessness and anger. Thanks so much! Finally, I have to confess my bias toward trying hard to make things simple, so we can all understand what we're talking about! When things are overly complicated or hard to “get,” I usually feel fairly suspicious about the person who is trying to “teach.” In college I always had the policy that if I can't understand what the teacher is trying to say, the teacher has a problem! My thinking today is pretty similar! I've always appreciated teachers who keep things simple for us mere mortals who appreciate having things explained clearly and in everyday words. Best, david 2. Fred asks: How would you use TEAM-CBT to treat individuals with schizophrenia? Hi David, Do you have any schizophrenia thought experiments? Most of my clients struggle with voices. I tell them there is always a good voice, which I believe is the Holy Spirit woven into every person at birth. I also tell them to welcome the voices and listen for what they need, because the voices need to be welcomed back into the body - the "family" - of the person, according to Internal Family Systems. I welcome your thoughts. I am not a therapist so anything I say or do needs to fit my role as a recovery coach. Fred South Bend, Indiana David's Reply. Thanks, Fred, great question. I have treated many individuals with schizophrenia, but they have rarely or never asked for help with the voices they hear. I like to set the agenda for each patient, finding out what they specifically want help with. And individuals with schizophrenia respond very well to TEM-CBT, both the individual treatment model for depression and anxiety, as well as the interpersonal model for relationship problems. An experience early in my career highlighted the folly of trying to challenge the delusions of individuals with schizophrenia. A young man, a new patient, seemed uncomfortable and when I inquired, he explained that the receptionist, Lucretia, was listening in because she could “hear” our thoughts and our conversation. I explained that Lucretia did not have much money, and that if he wanted we could do an experiment to test his belief. I put a $20 bill on the desk and said that if Lucretia knocked and came into the office, she could have the money. So I did that and Lucretia did not knock on the door or appear in the office. I asked the young man what he concluded from our “experiment.” He said that she “knew” it was an experiment since she could “hear” our thoughts, and didn't come in because she didn't want us to know she was “listening in” on our dialogue! That's an excellent example of what happens when the shrink tries to set the agenda, as opposed to helping patients with what THEY want help with! In my experience, you can help individuals with schizophrenia with self-esteem, anxiety, and relationship problems with psychotherapy, and they do feel and function somewhat better, but they still, sadly, have schizophrenia. This is my thinking only, and others may differ. I know that Aaron Beck and many of his followers have done research studies claiming they can help schizophrenia with traditional CBT. I am skeptical, but have not read those studies or evaluated the data with a critical eye! So who knows? Maybe they have some decent results. Best, david 3. Author not known asks: Why don't the therapists you treat with TEAM treat themselves using self-help techniques? Why can't the TEAM-CBT therapists who have done personal work with you on the podcasts do that work themselves in self-help mode?" They know all the techniques and have all the tools. With no qualifications, I have my own theory on that, which is actually based on TEAM. I don't know how to give myself the level of E=empathy required to move on to the next stage. So I guess my question could be reworded as "Is it possible to give yourself sufficient empathy in self-help mode?" or "Are there techniques or tools you can use to give yourself empathy in self-help mode?" David's Response Thanks, cool question! Blind spot, especially in relationship problems To get experience in the “patient” role Sometimes, we all need a little help from a friend, and that can sometimes be vastly faster than trying to do everything on your own. But in terms of empathy, I believe you CAN treat yourself with empathy, warmth, and compassion, and that is actually one of the keys to recovery, whether or not you're in treatment with a shrink! 4. How does David understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions? Is there any overlap between EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and David's TEAM-CBT? Hi Dr. David and Dr. Rhonda, I have a question if you have a chance, and maybe this is better for an Ask David. David talks about healthy emotions sometimes, and this feels like a faint through-line to EFT model. Does David have a framework for understanding healthy emotions or emotional needs? When a client is grieving, David encourages the tears to flow and notes it's an expression of how much the client valued something. David also demonstrates what EFT would call protective anger, when using the counterattack method, “I'm tired of listening to your BS.” And lastly David demonstrates what EFT labels self-compassion while using the acceptance paradox and 5 secrets responses to critical thoughts. Thanks, Zach David's Response Thanks for the excellent question. I have to confess that I don't know much about EFT, but I think there's a lot of overlap in different “therapies” since many people “borrow” ideas from other experts, and get so excited about them that they call them their own, and simply give them a new name, claiming to have something entirely new. And it sounds like there are some definitely similarities between my TEAM-CBT and what is called “EFT.” If this is true, I'm certain I didn't do the “borrowing” since I don't attend to the work of others in the field, for better or worse. At any rate, I have always taught my students that each negative feeling has a healthy and an unhealthy version, as you can see in the following table. The main difference is that the healthy version results from valid negative thoughts, and the unhealthy version results from distorted negative thoughts. However, in the past 25 years or so, I've taken a new look at so-called “unhealthy negative feelings” in my TEAM-CBT. There, we reframe the negative feelings, showing what's beautiful and awesome about each one. IN other words, we genuinely try to sell the patient on NOT changing. Paradoxically, this approach, which I call Positive Reframing, seems to melt the patient's resistance to change, and that nearly always opens the door to the possibility of rapid change. Healthy vs Unhealthy Negative Feelings Healthy Version Unhealthy Version Sadness, grief when you've lost someone or something you loved Depression, worthlessness, hopelessness Healthy fear when you're in danger Anxiety, nervousness, worry, and panic, and phobias Healthy remorse when you've hurt someone you love Neurotic guilt, blaming yourself for something you're not entirely, or at all, responsible for Healthy inadequacy and awareness of your very real shortcomings and limitations Worthlessness, inferiority Missing someone you love Desperate loneliness, abandonment, feeling unlovable Discouragement when you fail or when things don't work you Hopelessness Sharing your anger in the spirit of love and respect Unhealthy anger, aggression, acting out your anger with the goal of hurting or upsetting the other person, or getting back at them Thanks so much for listening today! Warmly, Rhonda and David
In honor of Tu B'Av, a day in the Jewish calendar that is auspicious for matchmaking and relationship growth, we present to you this powerful conversation with Rabbi David Fredman. Rabbi David Fredman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who combines a unique blend of humor, kindness and insight to calm the most tense interactions that couples go through. Having serviced the community as a Rabbi for over a decade, David knows the ins and outs of love, loss and healing. David uses a blend of approaches including EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), Gottman, Brent Atkinson's PET-C, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) as well as the PIT (Post Induction Therapy) model developed by Pia Mellody. David is currently licensed in Missouri, New Jersey and Minnesota. He sees clients in person or via telehealth in Missouri and via telehealth only for New Jersey and Minnesota. In this episode we discuss the pitfalls of relationships and the habits of successful couples. We also discuss how to heal your inner child and what your handwriting may say about you. Please rate and review the Empowered Jewish Living podcast on whatever platform you stream it. Please follow Rabbi Shlomo Buxbaum and the Lev Experience on the following channels: Facebook: @shlomobuxbaum Instagram: @shlomobuxbaum YouTube: TheLevExperience Pick up a copy of Rabbi Shlomo Buxbaum's second book, "The Four Elements of Inner Freedom: The Exodus Story as a Model for Overcoming Challenges and Achieving Personal Breakthroughs". You can order a copy on Amazon, in your local Jewish bookstore, or right here: https://levx.org/event/the-four-elements-of-freedom
As a therapist practicing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), understanding secure attachment is paramount to providing effective couples counseling. Secure attachment serves as the foundation for healthy and thriving relationships, and EFT utilizes this knowledge to help couples strengthen their emotional bonds. By understanding the importance of secure attachment, therapists can guide couples in identifying and reshaping negative interaction patterns, fostering emotional responsiveness, and promoting a sense of safety and trust. EFT, considered the gold standard of couples counseling, empowers therapists to create a supportive therapeutic environment where couples can explore and heal attachment wounds, ultimately leading to greater relationship satisfaction and emotional well-being. In this video, we delve into the importance of understanding secure attachment using Susan Johnson's groundbreaking Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach. Join us as we explore the transformative power of EFT in cultivating secure attachment and fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), pioneered by Susan M. Johnson, is a highly effective therapeutic approach (the gold standard of couples counseling actually!) designed to address all things related to the human experience, emotions, behavior, attachment-related issues, and it promotes and cultivates secure attachment. Secure attachment plays a vital role in our emotional well-being and relationship dynamics. Drawing from the research and expertise of renowned psychologist Susan Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy, this video unravels the core principles and practices of EFT to help you develop a deeper understanding of secure attachment. We'll also explore the fundamentals of secure attachment and its impact on our relationships. Discover how EFT emphasizes the importance of emotional responsiveness, accessibility, and engagement to create a secure attachment bond. By incorporating Emotionally Focused Therapy into your clinical practice, you can cultivate secure attachment, heal relationship wounds, and experience greater emotional well-being. If you're a therapist, Like and share this video with friends and loved ones who would benefit from gaining a deeper understanding of secure attachment and the transformative potential of Susan Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy. Together, let's unlock the power of secure attachment and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships in our lives. For more information on EFT, Please visit The International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy: https://www.iceeft.com For more information on Susan M. Johnson, PhD, please visit: https://www.drsuejohnson.com For information on special Guest Teri Murphy, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.terimurphy.com for information on scheduling therapy with Dr. Teri, visit: https://www.terimurphycounseling.com Visit The TN Center for EFT: https://www.EFTTennessee.com for information on your host Dr. Belle, visit: https://www.DrBelle.com https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounselin... To get a copy of Dr. Belle's Book on Relentless Empathy, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Using-Relentle...
As mental health clinicians and couples therapists, having an effective map to help clients navigate their emotional pain and problems is essential. As EFT Therapists, we all learn EFT at different paces, and sometimes, as we get more complex cases and our own development in the model grows, we can sometimes forget some of the basics. Join We Heart Therapy host Anabelle Bugatti, Ph.D./LMFT/Certified EFT Supervisor & Therapist, and special guest EFT Trainer and LMFT Debi Scimeca-Diaz from the Center for EFT in New Jersey as we discuss going back to the basic fundamentals in EFT, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Founded by Susan M Johnson. For more information on EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy, and to get trained in EFT or to find an EFT Therapist in your area, please visit: https://www.iceeft.com or https://www.drsuejohnson.com For more information on EFT Trainer Debi Scimeca-Diaz, or the Center for EFT in NJ, click below: http://www.CouplesTherapyNJ.com http://www.EFTCNJ.com For more information on your host, Anabelle Bugatti, Ph.D./LMFT, click below: http://www.DrBelle.com http://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.snveft.com For information on Dr. Belle's book, using Relentless Empathy in the Therapeutic Relationship, Connecting with Challenging and Difficult Clients, visit: https://a.co/d/cwZ0tFN
When people re-partner or remarry, bringing children with them from past relationships into their new relationship, sometimes the process of formulating a new family unit, or blending families into stepfamilies can present some unique challenges that couples have to face, not just within their couples relationship but within the new family unit as well. Join We Heart Therapy Host, Dr. Belle, Ph.D., LMFT, and EFT Trainer/ICEEFT Co-Founder, Gail Palmer, as they discuss how to use EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy and EFFT, Emotionally Focused Family Therapy strategies to help couples who are blending to find connection and cohesion in their new family unit. For more information on EFT/EFFT, or to learn how to become an official EFT Therapist by attending EFT Trainings, or to find an EFT Therapist in your area, please visit: https://www.ICEEFT.com For more information on Dr. Sue Johnson, pioneer of EFT/EFFT/EFIT, please visit: http://www.drsuejohnson.com For more information on special guest, Canadian EFT Trainer Gail Palmer, MSW/RMFT and ICEEFT Co-Founder, please visit: http://www.GailPalmerEFFT.com For more information on your host, Dr. Belle, please visit: https://www.DrBelle.com https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.SuccessinVulnerability.com https://www.SNVEFTcom
Does your marriage feel stuck? In episode 20, Scott and Betsy briefly explain the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) cycle and then go into detail on what's needed to exit that cycle. Through a hilarious experiment and practical examples, you will learn why slowing down, looking inward, and looking deeper at your spouse's heart all contribute to exiting the cycle and re-establishing your connection.
If you're a therapist or professional counselor, working with clients who have been through a loss and are grieving is an important area to be fully trained in to provide the best care. The mental health industry's current Gold Standard for therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT, whether for couples, families, or individuals, has been demonstrated through many outcome research to be one of the most effective models for helping people heal and connect. EFT is founded on attachment science and is offered by clinicians around the globe. Helping grieving clients go through the healing process using the attachment lens is an excellent and effective way to help them cope and heal. Join We Heart Therapy host, Dr. Belle, ICEEFT Certified EFT Supervisor & Therapist, and special guest Dr. Leanne Campbell, Psychologist, and ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer as they discuss how to use the model of Emotionally Focused Therapy to help individuals with grief cope and heal. For more information on Emotionally Focused Therapy, to get training as a therapist in the model, or to find a therapist in your area that is trained in EFT, visit: https://www.ICEEFT.com or https://www.drsuejohnson.com To buy a copy of Dr. Belle's book, Using Relentless Empathy in the Therapeutic Relationship Connecting with Challenging and Difficult Clients, on Amazon, click here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0367350440/... For more information on your host, Dr. Belle, please visit: http://www.drbelle.com https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounselin... https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.snveft.com For more information on special guest Dr. Leanne Campbell, please visit: https://courses.eftvancouverisland.com/ Dr. Leanne Campbell is co-director of the Vancouver Island Centre for EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and Campbell & Fairweather Psychology Group and is an Honorary Research Associate of Vancouver Island University. Trained by Dr. Sue Johnson in the early 1990s, she has continued to work in the EFT model since that time, and has provided psychotherapy services to hundreds of individuals, couples, and families over the past about three decades. By request, Dr. Campbell also provides personalized results-driven ‘intensives' (i.e., ‘boot camps') for couples motivated to improve their relationship and/or address ‘attachment injuries' related to infidelity, other significant life events and/or transitions (e.g., loss or trauma). Known for her expertise in trauma, Dr. Campbell has provided hundreds of psychological assessment reports for forensic/legal and personal injury matters being considered before various levels of Court. She also is regularly called upon to provide expert opinion, as well as psychological evaluations for various insurance companies and bodies involved in adjudicating personal injury and other trauma-based claims.
Emotionally Focused Therapy currently holds the APA Gold Standard of couples counseling because of its rigorous research and outcome studies on the efficacy of the model and its interventions. But many don't know that EFT is also perfect for working with Individuals and Families! Join We Heart Therapy Host Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, and Dr. Sue Johnson, the Pioneer of Emotionally Focused Therapy, as they discuss why EFT is perfect for working with individual clients in counseling and therapy and how it can be applied to these sessions. For more information on EFT and Dr. Sue Johnson, please visit: https://www.ICEEFT.com https://www.DrSueJohnson.com To purchase a copy of Dr. Sue Johnson's latest books on Amazon, visit: A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) https://a.co/d/ikZaQJ1 Attachment Theory in Practice https://a.co/d/8DoCJRE For more information on your host Dr. Belle, Author, Speaker, Certified EFT Supervisor & Therapist, and President of Southern NV EFT, please visit: https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.DrBelle.com https://www.SNVEFT.com To Purchase a copy of Dr. Belle's book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/4GIwj5h
Listener requested! The wedding is over. Grandchildren have arrived, but now there is trouble in paradise. Your Adult Child is Getting a Divorce. When to bite our tongues? How or when to offer advice? The wedding was such an exciting time and now the heartache begins. This episode will help you navigate the toughest situations.Also, we are going to explore narcissism and how to identify this characteristic in your adult children or significant others.We talk to two therapists in this episode. The first is Alena Scigliano. She is a licensed psychotherapist and an expert in narcissistic abuse. Narcissism also seems to be a trigger for divorce.We also speak with Ashley Quamme, a marriage and family therapist based in Columbia, Georgia. She specializes in EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy. We'd like to learn more about that, too.We explore everything fromHow your initial response can set the toneHow to be supportive but not overbearingHow to recognize a narcissistic partnerHow divorcing a narcissist can impose a new can of wormsWhat about the grandchildren?And so much more... Even if divorce is not on your radar, we think you will find the discussion interesting and learning about narcissism was a real eye-opener for us!Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee: LINK HERE (only 5 BUCKS and it means alot!)Buy a mug: LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:Facebook Instagram TwitterAnd remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE! The information provided by Bite Your Tongue The Podcast (“we,” “us,” or “our”) or biteyourtonguepodcast.com (the “Site” and our mobile application is for general informational purposes only. All information on the SITE or on the Podcast is for general informational purposes only. All information on the SITE and PODCAST is provided in good faith, however we make no representation or warranty of any kind, expressed, or implied regarding the accuracy, adequacy, validity, reliability, availability or completeness of any information the SITE or the PODCAST. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE SHALL WE HAVE ANY LIABILITY TO YOU FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE OF ANY KIND INCURRED AS A RESULT OF THE USE OF THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY GUESTS ON OUR PODCAST. YOUR USE OF THE SITE AND PODCAST AND YOUR RELIANCE ON ANY INFORMATION FROM THE SITE OUR PODCAST IS SOLEY AT YOUR OWN RISK. The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLEY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
The client's use of their spiritual values and religion in their therapy sessions can really be an asset to the client's mental health. However, sometimes, clients can use their religious values or spiritual beliefs as a block or an exit during sessions as a sort of bypass to avoid doing some of the deeper emotional work that's needed. Spirituality and Religion can be super helpful, and it can be very delicate to know what to do when you want to honor the client's beliefs but also recognize when it's coming up in session as a way to avoid doing deeper work. As therapists, we want to make sure that we don't dismiss a client's spiritual or religious beliefs, or that we also don't get stuck preaching to them either (be sure of your ethical best practices here!). Join We Heart Therapy host Dr. Belle and ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer "Doc Hawk," James Hawkins Ph.D., as they discuss how to work with clients' use of spiritual/religious bypasses in session using EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy. For more information on ICEEFT & EFT, visit: http://www.iceeft.com http://www.drsuejohnson.com For more information on Arkansas EFT Trainer James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, find him at: https://www.arkansaseft.com Find James on his podcast, The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy https://theleadingedgeineft.podbean.com/ Find Dr. James Hawkins & Dr. Belle on Success in Vulnerability: https://www.successinvulnerability.com To purchase a copy of Dr. Belle's Self of the Therapist book on Amazon, all about Harnessing the power of Empathy to connect with difficult clients, visit: https://a.co/d/7R1S76N For information on your host, Anabelle Bugatti, Ph.D., LMFT, visit: http://www.drbelle.com http://www.wehearttherapy.com http://www.snveft.com http://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling...
As therapists, we often help couples rebuild their connection, but what happens when a couple doesn't stay together? There are many resources for grieving from someone's passing, but not a lot of resources to help someone who is going through the end of a relationship, heartbreak, or break up. Join We Heart Therapy host, Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT Certified EFT Supervisor & Therapist, and special guest Dr. Clare Rosoman, Clinical Psychologist and ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer in Australia, as we discuss Grieving Relationship Loss using the attachment-based model of counseling, Emotionally Focused Therapy. For more information on EFT, or to become trained as a therapist in EFT, please visit: http://www.ICEEFT.com or https://www.DrSueJohnson.com For more information on special guest Dr. Clare Rosoman, and to get a copy of her new book, please visit: An Emotionally Focused Guide to Relationship Loss: Life After Love https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Fo... For the Australian Centre for EFT (ACEFT): https://www.aceft.com.au Dr. Clare Rosoman https://www.clarerosoman.com For more information on your host, Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT please visit and to purchase a copy of her book on Relentless Empathy for Challenging and Difficult Clients: https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin... https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.DrBelle.com https://www.snveft.com
Connecting Couples Podcast: Series: Pursuers and Withdrawers Episode 10: Why This Is So Hard First 5 minutes: Wrapping up this series and tying all the pieces together. Getting both sides, the Pursuers and the Withdrawers to recognize they both get hijacked by a deeper thing that is at play. Quick recap of TEMP. This acrostic created by EFT Therapist George Faller describes the Appraisal Theory, which is how our body processes emotion. TEMP is- TRIGGER is something I notice that sends my body a message that our connection is being threatened. Then I feel an EMOTION that picks up the threat and tells my body there is something wrong “uh-oh”. My body sends the signal to my brain where I start to assign MEANING to what I am seeing and feeling. And then I do a cued response that is my PROTECTIVE Strategy that is the thing my body feels will keep me and/or our relationship safe. All of these responsive behaviors are based on our attachment to each other which is learned based on our attachment strategies from our past experiences. Minutes 5-10: The strategies that our bodies naturally do when we get a threat message that our connection is at risk- were learned from our development. Over time, we learned these strategies as our way to maintain connection. We all need connection to survive- we are ‘pack animals' and rely on each other for safety and connection. If something happens within us that we pick up as a possible cue that we could get rejected or abandoned, then our connection is being threatened and we do the thing we've learned will keep us connected. Mis-messages from our culture when we hear ‘you don't need anyone'. This is false. We all need connection. We see this in our 12-step programs that are linear and send the message that they need to get healing ‘on their own'. What a person does when they can't get connection within their system, is they go and find connection in another system that is more safe then the one they had to leave or where they were not finding. Minutes 10-15: We all long for acceptance and to be seen. We need to be able to find connection in our hardest and darkest places where we don't really like ourselves. It is vital for us to connect. In isolation, all the bad feelings grow- anxiety, depression, etc… we are not meant to be alone with our experiences. We are designed to share experiences. Internally we long for acceptance and for someone to be present with us. Brene Brown says, rarely does a response solve the problem. Connection and presence is what we need in distress. We want couples to be able to access our deeper feelings and our deeper fears. Often for a Withdrawer it's that they will be found flawed and rejected. Often for Pursuers its, that they are inadequate and that cues a lot of emotion, and if they are too much they will be left. Sue Johnson- co-founder of EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) asks, “What is your catastrophic fear?” Minutes 15-20: The whole reason we have Pursers and Withdrawers is because that's how we learned to cope. This is why it's so important that we learn how to get clear about what is hurting so we can tell our partners that we need them in these places where we feel insecure. We can't let our partners in to the places we haven't taken the time to consider. Acceptance of ourselves cannot ever make us feel secure. We need acceptance from others- specifically our partners, in order to feel secure. This is so hard because everything in our lives tells us NOT to bring these negative and hard things forward. We all long to be accepted in the hard places. Broken and Loved. It's what we need. Isolation doesn't allow us to get the feedback we need to know if we are doing ok. Minutes 20-25: We need others. If we don't acknowledge our need for others, we miss the very thing, the only thing that can bring us the security we long for. It's not only about stopping the cycle, it is more about being able to bring our fears and longing forward and for our partner to respond with acceptance in the places where we are afraid. Connect Point: Broken and Loved. If you haven't ever identified TEMP (Trigger, Emotion, Meaning and Protective Action), start with that. But once you have identified your process, we want you to try to discuss your deeper “catastrophic fear”. Can you identify what you are ultimate afraid of if everything goes wrong, and can you share it with your partner. Partners, only say, ‘Thank you for sharing'. For more information about Chad and Angela, check out their website: www.therealimhoffs.com
Krista Lindholm is a Licensed Clinical Social Work and is the owner and director of Assessment Services Inc and Kalm Therapy. Krista creates safety, therapeutic relationships and trust to those seeking healing through effective psychotherapy. She uses the AIP (Adaptive Information Processing) model to help clients resolve trauma and limiting beliefs in order to decrease suffering. Krista is a certified EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapist specializing in the treatment of co-occurring (substance use and mental health) disorders. Krista also uses EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) to guide couples to health and healing of relational and attachment wounds. To get in touch with Krista - https://www.assessmentiowa.com/ To connect with Tyler - https://www.tylerkamerman.com/contact/
Have you ever heard of "Tapping"? EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy and Tapping is a WONDERFUL experience. We explore it as a technique and teach you the basics because this is something you can do at home. ANN HINCE is our narrator and instructor here! From finding her mother dead on the bathroom floor at 16 years old to RESHAPING her body through her personal growth work and therapeutic interventions, she brings her expertise to you. You can find more about Ann at www.annhince.com
S2E10: Steph and Em talk about EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), attachment styles, and attachment trauma. Instagram: @just.mental.health.podcast linktr.ee/justmentalhealthpodcast To support this podcast go to https://anchor.fm/justmentalhealth/support Disclosure: We give our opinions based on our professional background, but nothing said in this podcast should be taken as mental health advice or take the place of therapy. We like to season our language with many spices, including both F words: Feminism and Fuck. If this kind of language offends you, this is not the podcast for you. And lastly, we are aware of our privilege and understand that we have internal biases that cloud our perspective. Please message us if we are wrong and we will openly correct ourselves. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/justmentalhealth/support
Join Terra for part 2 of her conversation with Dr. Michelle. Discover some essential truths about building emotional intimacy in marriage. As an expert EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) therapist, Dr. Michelle helps us understand why couples fight and how that can be fuel for intimacy. She shares common relational patterns for couples for those who find themselves in the rut of life, with very little friendship or romance. Terra and Dr. Michelle vulnerably share honestly about their own marriage attachment patterns and hope that anyone listening will find grace for where they are in marriage. Dr. Michelle Engblom-Deglmann is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and currently serves as the Living Wholehearted Clinical Director. In addition to being a professor, she is in private practice working with individuals, couples, and coaching/supervising therapists. She received a Bachelor's degree at the College of St. Benedict in Minnesota, followed by a Master's in Counseling Psychology at St. Cloud State University, with a certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. She went on to become a licensed MFT, before receiving a Ph.D. in Family Therapy from St. Louis University. Dr. Michelle also teaches as a graduate professor in the Marriage and Family Therapy program at George Fox University. Prior to moving to Portland, she was a professor and Clinical Training Director at Simpson University in Redding, California. As a professor she has presented and published, both regionally and nationally, on topics of divorce, remarriage, trust, and attachment among others. You can find Dr. Michelle at: http://www.michelleengblom.com
In this episode of EnVibe Life Conversations, Amy and Cheryl are joined by couples and sex therapist, Dr. Tiffany Stanley. They discuss couples' therapy, sex therapy, and the need for self-care. In this episode: 02:20 – Dr. Stanley's background and current practice. 03:28 – EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) Therapy and EFT (Emotionally-Focused Therapy) 05:10 – Focus on Self-Care and “me first”. 05:35 – What is sex therapy? What can you expect when seeing a sex therapist? 07:55 – Ethical boundaries in sex therapy. Focus on sexual functioning, education, healing after sexual trauma. 10:10 – Dispelling myths surrounding the quality of sexual health and satisfaction. 11:35 – The value of professional therapy for mental health. 12:32 – A rise in relationship conflict during COVID. 14:24 – The importance of self-care and how it underlies all other relationship health. 16:10 – Why self-care is the starting point, even in couples' therapy. 18:48 – The power of affirmations. How to use them. 19:29 – Worthiness and the willingness to receive as a part of manifesting those things you want in your life. How that also applies to our sex lives. 21:20 – The power of curiosity. 22:54 – Will relationships get back to “normal” after COVID? Most people went into survival mode at the onset of COVID, and the duration has been longer than we anticipated. 24:40 – How COVID exacerbated anxiety, depression, and conflict. 26:25 – New issues to work through as society begins to ease social restrictions after COVID. 27:07 – How individuals and single people have seen an increase in loneliness and isolation. 29:34 – How establishing healthy patterns of care can help when you encounter difficult situations. 31:40 – The need for each of us to figure out what works for us. 33:25 – Guided Imagery and Guided Meditation. How they impact our nervous system and benefit us physiologically. 39:16 – How Dr. Stanley lives EnVibe. To learn more about Dr. Stanley and her practice, visit www.tiffanystanleytherapy.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/envibelifeconversations/message
Terugtrekkers en aanklampers, Hou me vast-groepen, zeven gesprekken om je relatie te versterken. Relatietherapeut Karin Wagenaar introduceerde EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) in Europa. Ze legt ons uit waarom je binnen een relatie wél kunt veranderen, sterker nog: als je lang samen bent, verander je allebei. We hebben het over de ‘ik kan het niet’-fuik , de Protest Polka, micro-awakenings als je alleen slaapt, de kracht van self-soothing, en de Schijf van Zeven voor je brein volgens Daniel Siegel. En onthou: we zijn gemaakt om samen te zijn!#suejohnson #eft #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #hechtingsstijl #attachmentstyles #relaties #relatietherapie #eft.nl #danielsiegel
Headed into week 3 of The Beginning- where the Imhoffs explain their first experiences with EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). This week we hear Angela share her side of their journey through understanding emotions in a new way. Unlike Chad's initially cognitive approach, Angela was hit pretty early on with the realization that emotions were not something she understood. Check out Angela's perspective as a 'feeler' and pretty assertive pursuer as she discovers the part her emotions had been playing in her life. For more information about Chad and Angela, check out: www.therealimhoffs.com
In this second episode of their dive back into their first experiences with EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), the Imhoffs dive into Chad's side of their journey to understanding emotions. His initially cognitive approach let him to a place of change not only as a therapist, but also as a husband and individual. Check out this perspective of a new emotional experience from a 'heady-withdrawer". For more information about Chad and Angela, check out: www.therealimhoffs.com
Rewinding a little bit in their journey, Chad and Angela discuss the beginning of their exposure to EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and their first impressions on their experience learning it. Going from a place where emotions ran in the background to now understanding the importance of emotion hits everyone differently. Listen as Chad and Angela discuss their two very different responses and how they ended up doing a podcast about it. For more information about the Imhoffs check out their website at: www.therealimhoffs.com
As a therapist using the model Emotionally Focused Therapy, we know that one of the steps within this method as part of Stage 2 work, involves helping Pursuers soften. But what does that actually mean? What does pursuer softening look like? What is the main difference between a pursuer and a withdrawer? Join We Heart Therapy host, Dr. Anabelle Bugatti, LMFT (EFT Supervisor & Therapist) and special guest, ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer Dr. Giulia Altera from the North Italian Center for EFT, as they discuss working with Pursuers and the ins and outs of pursuer softening within the model of couples counseling known as, EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy, pioneered by Sue Johnson. For more information on training in EFT or to find an EFT therapist in your area, visit: https://www.iceeft.com or https://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information on special guest EFT Trainer Dr. Giulia Altera and the North Italian community for EFT, visit: https://eft-norditalia.com/ or https://www.eftitaliacommunity.com/For more information on your host, Dr. Anabelle Bugatti, visit: https://www.dranabellebugatti.com or https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com or https://www.snveft.com
In this episode Jackie talks about the EFT as a therapy modality when working with couples. EFT is all about healing attachment wounds and experiencing relationships in a positive, inviting and safe way. What happens when couples get stuck in conflict? What happens when communication doesn't lead to connection? Often it is old patterns of interacting and the negative messages that come with those patterns that are getting in the way of connection.
In this episode Jackie talks about the EFT as a therapy modality when working with couples. EFT is all about healing attachment wounds and experiencing relationships in a positive, inviting and safe way. What happens when couples get stuck in conflict? What happens when communication doesn't lead to connection? Often it is old patterns of interacting and the negative messages that come with those patterns that are getting in the way of connection.
In this second segment of "The Basics Series", Chad and Angela Imhoff discuss what love is and why sometimes it's not enough. They share the basic principles of EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and begin to walk couples into the idea of having connecting conversations that secure a lasting relationship.To learn more about the Imhoffs, check out their webpage at: www.therealimhoffs.com
Meet Rachel Jane Cooke Rachel Jane Cooke is a therapist, trainer and coach who specialises in self-esteem, emotional intelligence, shame resilience and the Millennial Life Crisis. She has spent the last seven years working with individuals and couples, running an online therapy platform and giving talks and workshops. She has a focus on neuroscience, holds a Master's degree in Integrative Psychotherapy and is also trained in NLP, mindfulness meditation, hypnotherapy and EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. At 32 Rachel has lived around the world and visited over 50 countries. She's started three businesses and worked in various challenging environments. She is most passionate about helping people find their way to authenticity, purpose, creativity and fulfilling relationships, which she believes anyone can achieve with the right knowledge, practice and support. ABOUT THE HOST My name is Sam Harris. I am a British entrepreneur, investor and explorer. From hitchhiking across Kazakstan to programming AI doctors I am always pushing myself in the spirit of curiosity and Growth. My background is in Biology and Psychology with a passion for improving the world and human behaviour. I have built and sold companies from an early age and love coming up with unique ways to make life more enjoyable and meaningful. Sam: Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/samjamsnaps/) Quora (https://www.quora.com/profile/Sam-Harris-58) Twitter (https://twitter.com/samharristweets) LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharris48/) Sam's blog - SamWebsterHarris.com (https://samwebsterharris.com/) Support the Show - Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/growthmindset) TOP TIPS Multipotentialite - the Passionate Person Having a multi-passion or being a multipotentialite is a very real modern day trait. Multipotentialites thrive on learning, exploring, and mastering new skills. They are excellent at bringing unique ideas together in creative ways. This makes incredible innovators and problem solvers Multipotentiality can either be a good thing or a bad thing. It’s up to you to frame it as a good thing. Have Support Groups When you join a new support group, you may be nervous about sharing personal issues with people you don't know. So at first, you may benefit from simply listening. Over time, though, contributing your own ideas and experiences can help you get more out of a support group. But remember that support groups aren't a substitute for regular medical care. Let your doctor know that you're participating in a support group. If a support group isn't your thing but you need help coping with your condition or situation, talk to your doctor about counselling or other types of therapy. Build a Network Whether you are making big changes to your life or simply chasing your dreams, it is difficult to do it alone. Having the proper support of people you trust greatly enhances your chances of success. It is important to have a good support network that you can bounce ideas off and get feedback from. Building a good support network, which takes patience and persistence, makes tough times more bearable Subscribe! If you enjoyed the podcast please subscribe and rate it. And of course, share with your friends! Special Guest: Rachel Jane-Cooke.
In this episode of The Total Self Considered, Jeff Fine interviews Zoya Simakhodskaya, a psychotherapist specializing in couples therapy and sexual relationships. An experienced therapist, instructor, and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) practitioner, Zoya brings her insights from many years of working with couples and educating therapists about the importance of addressing sexual issues in relationships. Jeff and Zoya discuss what goes into a healthy, satisfying sex life and why people avoid talking about sex. Together, they break down common patterns that lead to issues in sexual relationships, and the personal, social and cultural factors that complicate the issues, and share some advice for couples who may be struggling. The post Talking about Sex: Complicated, Uncomfortable, Necessary appeared first on TotalSelf Counseling & Fitness.
Not all therapists are good. Not all therapists have the advanced training necessary to help you as an individual or as a couple. Not all therapists have your best interests in mind. If you are contemplating divorce, want to work on past trauma, or work on your relationship, you need a good therapist to guide you. So, how do you find a good therapist? That’s the topic of this week’s episode. If you’re a member of my Facebook group, then Katie’s name is probably familiar to you. She’s a member of the group, is an incredible asset and I am so grateful to have her voice there, as well as in this podcast episode. “Going into therapy with the wrong person is not going to help you,” says Katie. My loves, this is so true. But choosing the right one most certainly will. Show Highlights The many layers of how to go about picking a therapist (6:08) Tips for researching your therapist options including how to research finding a good couples therapist (16:29) EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy takes the understanding of attachment theory and applies it to how we come together and fall apart in our relationships (18:02) Everybody has dysfunction and we all can choose to (or not to) deal with it. The more we put work into healing our attachment injuries the more value we are going to get from our relationships (21:30) Schema therapy - what it is and how it helps change your relational behavioral patterns (19:46) In looking for a couple’s therapist, you should be looking for someone who has experience in several advanced therapies (27:00) Who should NOT be in couple’s therapy: active abuse or addiction by someone who is not willing to address and work through it (27:55) When therapists act in dual roles (individually and as a couple’s therapist) (28:09) Trust your gut! If you don’t feel like a therapist is the right fit for you, they’re probably not. (33:36) Trauma bonds: the theory of trauma bonding and how they can lead you to repeat old abusive habits (38:15) Learn More About Katie: Katie Thompson LPC, CEDS is a psychotherapist in private practice in St. Louis, Missouri. Katie specializes in treating eating disorders, anxiety disorders, PTSD and complex trauma and has a special interest in treating binge eating disorder. She is skilled in implementing DBT, CBT, IFS, ERP, EMDR, EFT and group therapy. Katie is trained in EMDR, Exposure, and Response Prevention (ERP) and has earned her certification in Internal Family Systems, Level 2. In private practice, Katie balances individual, family, couples and group therapy with supervising provisionally licensed therapists. Katie is also a current member and the past Board President of the Missouri Eating Disorders Association (MOEDA) Board of Directors and is a past member of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA) board of directors. Katie can be seen in local media appearances and lecturing regionally and nationally in her areas of specialty. Katie is married and has a daughter, a bonus daughter, and a bonus son. She has been a part of her blended family since 2011 and is familiar with the complexities that come with living in a blended family as a spouse, bio parent and step-parent. Katie specializes in clinical intervention within blended family systems in her specific areas of expertise. Resources & Links:Katie’s websiteKatie on Facebook The Gottman Institute The Seven Principles Making Marriage Work Trauma Bond Experts: Patrick Carnes Dr. Christine CourtoisPeter Levine Understanding Attachment Styles Trauma Bonds The Ultimate Divorce Survival GuideShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group Today's sponsors: LOLA Feminine care products you can trust, delivered to your door. Made by women, for women. Use code “dsg” at checkout for 30% off your first order! When you choose LOLA, you’re making a lasting impact on women’s reproductive health. We partner with leading nonprofits, donate millions of period products, and spark meaningful conversations. THRIVE CAUSEMETICS Conscious beauty, 100% vegan + cruelty free Use code “dsg” at checkout for 15% off! Your purchase directly impacts the lives of women, animals and communities around the world. Join our movement by purchasing today + share why you love giving back on social using #thrivecausemetics.
Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen, or Becca, joins me to discuss how to avoid common pitfalls and achieve more secure relationships. Becca shares from the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) perspective that, being human, we all need to feel secure. Our initial insecurities often develop into defensive, protective strategies born from the pain of trying to be seen and heard. The thing is, these strategies makes it difficult for people to come close to us, or for us to maintain connection. When we feel sensitive and insecure, we automatically put up our guard up, go behind a wall, or get critical of others and push them behind a wall, and when we do, we block ourselves from having what we need the most, secure connection. We block ourselves because our insecurities have hardwired into us ways of coping with that inadvertently increase our pain and loneliness. This is where the work of secure relationships comes back to developing self awareness. I hope this conversation helps to cultivate a safe sacred space for you to develop awareness and deepen your security in relationship. resources: Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen is certified by the International Center for Excellence in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) as a Therapist, Supervisor of Therapists, and Trainer. She trains therapists and psychologists (nationally and internationally) to do effective couple therapy and work with especially difficult cases. Dr. Jorgensen works and co-presents with Dr. Sue Johnson, the Emotionally Focused Therapy originator and developer of the Hold Me Tight© Relationship Enhancement Program. She’s also the cocreator of the Building A Lasting Connection Premarital and Newlywed education program and Connection System. And regularly works with couples who want to heal affairs, sexual addiction, couple distress and childhood trauma. Learn more about her work at: drrebeccajorgensen.com and buildingalastingconnection.com. And find her on social media at: instagram.com/eftdoc and facebook.com/eftdoc. While these discussions will guide you into the Connectfulness Practice, the podcast is not meant to be a substitute for counseling from a licensed provider. Reach out. Initiate the ripple. Learn more about my connectfulness counseling practice, intensives, and our collective for therapists in private practice at connectfulness.com/work-with-me. This episode is brought to you by Therapy Notes. Therapy Notes is a simple, secure, EHR platform that keeps you organized and creates a container for all details that run a private practice -- so you can tend to what really matters. Use the promo code connectfulness and get two months free when you sign up at therapynotes.com After listening, we invite you to deepen into the discussion with us on instagram and please support the show by sharing and reviewing the episode.
As a therapist learning Sue Johnson's attachment-based model of counseling, EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy, there are many times where we can get stuck in the model and become unsure of where to go next. Join Certified EFT Supervisor & Therapist, We Heart Therapy host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT and Certified EFT Trainer and director of the EFT Center in Mèrida Mexico, Ali Barbosa, as they discuss blocks that come up in the EFT Tango and how to figure out where to go next.For more information on EFT, visit: https://www.ICEEFT.com or https://drsuejohnson.comFor more information on the EFT center in Mexico and EFT Trainer Ali Barbosa, visit: https://www.eftmexico.com or http://www.alibarbosa.com.mx/For more information on your host, visit: https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com or https://www.LasVegasMarriageCounselin... or https://www.snveft.com
Learning how to do EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy can be exciting and challenging. And let's face it, sometimes we get lost in session, clients throw us curve balls, and we get stuck as we're trying to help a couple work through their cycle. Join We Heart Therapy host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD/LMFT/Certified EFT Therapist and EFT Trainer and LMFT Debi Scimeca-Diaz from the Center for EFT in New Jersey as they discuss common stuck places and curve balls, what to do and how to handle them.For more information on EFT Trainer Debi Scimeca-Diaz, or the Center for EFT in NJ, click below: http://www.CouplesTherapyNJ.com http://www.EFTCNJ.com For more information about EFT and pioneer Dr. Sue Johnson, visit: http://www.iceeft.com or http://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information about your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com or https://www.wehearttherapy.com
Treating clients with addictions using Emotionally Focused Therapy can be very effective. However, many therapists have questions as to contraindications and whether or not a couple with addictions is ready for couples therapy. Join your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD/LMFT, and Certified EFT Trainer Michael Barnett, LPC as they discuss how to use Emotionally Focused Therapy to effectively help couples that struggle with addiction.For more information on EFT Trainer Michael Barnett LPC, click below: http://www.eftatlanta.com/ http://www.pineriverpsychotherapy.com... https://www.michaelbarnettlpc.com/abo...For more information about EFT and pioneer Dr. Sue Johnson, visit: http://www.iceeft.com or http://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information about your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com or https://www.wehearttherapy.com
Broken Trust is one of the most common reasons couples enter couples therapy. It can also present many challenges for the therapist as they work with the couple on the healing process. Join We Heart Therapy Host Anabelle LMFT, Certified EFT Therapist and EFT Trainer/Supervisor Lorrie Brubacher LMFT as they discuss how to use EFT to help couples repair trust.For more information on Emotionally Focused Therapy visit: http://www.iceeft.com For more information on Lorrie Brubacher, go to: http://www.lbrubacher.com and http://www.carolinaeft.comTo purchase a copy of Lorrie's book, Stepping into Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Key Ingredients of Change, visit http://www.Steppingintoeft.comFor more information about EFT and pioneer Dr. Sue Johnson, visit: http://www.iceeft.com or http://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information about your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com or https://www.wehearttherapy.com
When learning EFT, it's not uncommon to hear the phrase "get curious" with your client, and sometimes it can be challenging to fully understand what "getting curious" actually means. Join We Heart Therapy Host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT and Jim Thomas, ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer & Therapist as they discuss the EFT techniques and use of curiosity and empathy to align with clients.Jim Thomas is the Executive Director of the Colorado Center for EFT in the Denver area. Find more information on Jim Thomas, visit his website: https://jimthomas.care/ or https://www.coloradoeft.com/For more information about EFT and pioneer Dr. Sue Johnson, visit: http://www.iceeft.com or http://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information about your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com or https://www.wehearttherapy.com
Helping couples struggling to heal from an affair can be a daunting task. Furthermore, it can be difficult to have empathy for the straying partner. Join We Heart Therapy host Anabelle LMFT/Certified EFT Couples Therapist and EFT Trainer/Co Founder of TRI EFT in San Diego Dr. Scott Woolley, as they discuss how to understand the role the affair had in the relationship, how to remain neutral and have empathy for both partners, and how to effectively help couples navigate this rough terrain.For more information on Scott Woolley, PhD, or to book a Healing Affairs workshop near you, contact Scott at http://www.DrScottWoolley.com or http://TRIEFT.orgFor more information about EFT and pioneer Dr. Sue Johnson, visit: http://www.iceeft.com or http://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information about your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com or https://www.wehearttherapy.com
Withdrawer Re-engagement is a key change event in the beginning of Stage 2 EFT. Understanding the emotional inner workings of withdrawers can also be challenging. If you're a therapist learning the model of EFT, don't miss this discussion with special guest ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer Kathryn Rheem, PhD, LMFT EFT Trainer and Supervisor. Dr. Kathryn Rheem is an EFT Trainer & Supervisor at the Washington Baltimore Center for EFT. She recently released a video training series on Withdrawer Re-Engagement showing real sessions with one of her couples.To learn more and to access her video series, click here: http://washingtonbaltimorecenterforef...For more information about EFT and pioneer Dr. Sue Johnson, visit: http://www.iceeft.com or http://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information about your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com or https://www.wehearttherapy.com
Are you considering getting certified as an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist? Want to know more about the process? Join special guest Gail Palmer (EFT Trainer/Supervisor and Co-Director of ICEEFT) and We Heart Therapy host Anabelle Bugatti (LMFT, certified EFT Therapist) as they discuss how to get certified as an EFT Therapist.For more information on getting certified, click here: http://www.iceeft.com/index.php/thera...For more information about EFT and pioneer Dr. Sue Johnson, visit: http://www.iceeft.com or http://www.drsuejohnson.comFor more information about your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com or https://www.wehearttherapy.com
Join We Heart Therapy host Anabelle Bugatti PhD, LMFT as she interviews the pioneer of Emotionally Focused Therapy Dr. Sue Johnson, who just received the highest honor, the Order of Canada for her outstanding work and achievements in the area of adult attachment science and research. Sue Johnson has received many honors and awards for her research and accomplishments as a leader in the field of psychological research and clinical practice. She is a tremendous leader and it was such an HONOR to be able to conduct this interview with her. In this video we will discuss choosing EFT as a model of therapy for those therapists, beginning or seasoned in their careers, who are in search of a model that helps achieve lasting and effective help and change for their therapy practices, especially with couples.For more information on how to become an EFT Therapist, or to learn more about the Research on EFT, visit http://www.ICEEFT.comMore information about Dr. Sue Johnson can be obtained on her website: http://www.drsuejohnson.com For more information on your host Anabelle Bugatti, PhD, LMFT, visit: http://www.Lasvegasmarriagecounseling... or http://www.WeHeartTherapy.com
Thank you for listening to Mormon Sex Info. This episode is an archived episode and is only now becoming publicly available. Mormon Sex Info relies on contributions. To contribute, please visit: mormonsex.info Please enjoy the episode. Natasha Helfer Parker interviews Isa Jones, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Clinical Sexologist, on the importance of creating & claiming our sexual identities both as individuals and couples. What does this mean? For example, we often have clear ideas about many roles we play in our lives… who am I as a parent?… as a spouse?… as a business partner? But how many times have we thought about “who am I sexually?” So, how do we go about claiming our own sexuality in ways that hold authenticity and internal authority? What sexual values do we hold - not just from our religious culture - but from the space of pleasure, consent, vulnerability, erotic experience, etc…? And then… how do we communicate these sexual spaces with our partners - especially when sexual tastes and preferences differ? Natasha and Isa discuss all kinds of helpful strategies, exercises and reframes that can help you find your erotic potential, manage libido differences and better negotiate sexual fantasy, desires and interests. Isa grew up in an LDS home, has a great understanding of Mormon culture and works with a large number of LDS clientele. She is the owner of the Scottsdale Center for Sex and Relationship Therapy in Scottsdale, Arizona. She specializes in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), improving couples communication, creative problem solving, enhancing intimacy and increasing erotic desire. Isa graduated with her BS in Human Development from Brigham Young University and her Masters degree in MFT at Arizona State University. She is the Arizona Section leader for AASECT. Isa has been educating and inspiring women, men and couples to live with more passion, self-confidence and joy for over 20 years. To get in touch with Isa visit www.ScottsdaleSexTherapy.com. Links to resources that are covered during the podcast: Esther Perel's Ted Talk https://us.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=iry&hsimp=yhs-fullyhosted_011&type=mce_sft1_15_27¶m1=yhsbeacon¶m2=f%3D4%26b%3DChrome%26cc%3DUS%26p%3Dmceyahoo%26cd%3D2XzuyEtN2Y1L1QzuyEtBtC0B0C0A0D0CtG0FzzyB0FtGyD0DzzzztG0A0FtAtBtG0DyD0A0CtAyB0BtBtCzyyDyDtN1L1G1B1V1N2Y1L1Qzu2S0B0E0B0D0AtC0AyBtGzy0FzzzztGyEtB0F0FtGzyyC0ByCtGtDyByDyD0DyDtDtAtB0FyBzz2QtN1Q2Zzu0StCtByByDtN1L2XzutAtFyDtFtDtFyEtDtN1L1Czu%26cr%3D1929563656%26a%3Dmce_sft1_15_27&p=esther+perel+ted+talk Mating in Captivity: Reconciling Intimacy and Sexuality & book https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060753641/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=3524371619&hvqmt=b&hvbmt=bb&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_2msngsz47d_b Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Sexual Intelligence Gina Ogden, author of https://www.amazon.com/The-Return-Desire-Rediscovering-Passion/dp/1590303644%3FSubscriptionId%3D0ENGV10E9K9QDNSJ5C82%26tag%3Dflatwave-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D1590303644 The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering your Sexual Passion, https://www.amazon.com/Women-Who-Love-Sex-Ordinary/dp/1590305035%3FSubscriptionId%3D0ENGV10E9K9QDNSJ5C82%26tag%3Dflatwave-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D1590305035 Women who Love Sex: Ordinary Women Describe their Paths to Pleasure, Intimacy and Ecstasy and more... Barry McCarthy's book https://www.amazon.com/Discovering-Your-Couple-Sexual-Style/dp/0415994691/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458016920&sr=1-1&keywords=barry+mccarthy+sexual+style Discovering your Couple Sexual Style: Sharing Desire, Pleasure and Satisfaction Tammy Nelson, author of https://www.amazon.com/The-New-Monogamy-Redefining-Relationship/dp/1608823156/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1KNSVSGKFRD2VNFXRPFN The New Monogamy: Redefining your Relationship after Infidelity and https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Sex-You-Want-Inhibitions/dp/1592335268/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458018088&sr=1-1&keywords=tammy+nelson Getting the Sex You Want: Shed your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together Janis Abrahms Spring, author of https://www.amazon.com/After-Affair-Healing-Rebuilding-Unfaithful/dp/0062122703/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=035W4KXCSQVJSNBXGDX5 After the Affair and https://www.amazon.com/How-Can-Forgive-You-Courage/dp/0060009314/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458020448&sr=1-1&keywords=janis+abrahms+spring How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
Tony Overbay began his career in the high tech world but felt the call to become a therapist and help men. For the past 13-14 years, he has been a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in Roseville, California. While Tony grew up in Utah, he is an adult convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He has been married 28 years, is a father of four, an ultra-marathoner, host of the Virtual Couch Podcast, creator of The Path Back, and currently serves on the Leading Saints Professional Therapists Advisory Board. Tony Overbay Highlights 12:45 Men in therapy - the stigma, stereotypes 14:40 Treatment of pornography addiction - behavior modification, identifying triggers “crimes of opportunity,” then thought, which leads to action/behavior. Tools to put distance between thoughts and action, initially, then work on thought, but have to deal with core issues to heal. 16:30 Core issues—feelings of inadequacy, not feeling connected to partner, job, or faith, poor health—have to be dealt with to heal from addiction. Go-to patterns of behavior learned in youth 17:45 Men have a harder time connecting, less likely to go to therapy, need to find ways to connect with a therapist first before talking about emotions before talking about the elephant in the room 20:45 "The bishop is not the therapist" mentality brings shame to the table because it doesn’t bring the connection. How can bishops help build connections? Bishops need authenticity and vulnerability to build connection, to avoid shame spiral by pushing to get to transgression immediately. Don’t rush it, show gratitude, build relationships, meet with love. A relationship is more important - can’t go and find another bishop, like a person can go find another therapist 26:20 Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear - Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf April 2017 - many bishops over-emphasize shame - sprinkling shame glitter - to make them know they did something "really bad." Have to give people hope and remove shame. 27:30 - Brother Tad Callister- guilt is the stop sign. Shame hangs around guilt and isn’t productive, is negative, and makes people feel horrible. Have to change the conversation because will lie when there are relapses 29:20 - Shame - leaders mix up shame and guilt. Shame is "you’re bad" and not "what you did is bad". Pornography addiction - first exposure - 8 to 11 yo - early exposure to pornography is early sexualization, which changes the wiring of the brain because the brain doesn’t know how to process information. Changes their perception of the world, have to understand with it to work with, and will remove the shame. 32:30 - Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf - minor things take a person further off course over time. What not to say to someone when talking to them because it makes the other person view it as shame and more broken and not empathetic because coming from a different point of view. 33:45 Dr. Patrick Carnes - sexual addiction counselor, sex addiction and pornography can be harder to overcome than drug or alcohol addiction because addictive obsession can cause mood alteration. Sex addicts carry their own source of supply in their brain. Prolonged use alters the brain. Why can’t I get it under control? Bishop asks why and doesn’t understand the why of a person wanting it. Unintended shame happens. 37:20 Double down on the empathy when people share. Jesus saw sin as wrong, but as needs not met. Look into lives of others to see their shortcomings, unmet needs, etc, that aren’t filled that we’re trying to fill. Need to focus on the deeper reason of why we sin and the need we’re trying to meet to become better. Have to help people find something to replace the void. Easier to add things to life than subtract from life. 40:00 - EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy to connect with a spouse, which fills the void and turns toward a spouse. A person is greater than their sin or addiction. 41:00 How to create a situation where a person never faces sh...
Many couples fall into a predictable dance that neither one of them want to be in. They end up being stuck in this pattern and can't seem to free themselves. One partner is the pursuer and one partner is that withdrawer. The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws. In order to make progress, both partner must be able to give up their stance in this situation. George Faller has seen this pattern play out time and time again and has helped couples to be understanding of each other and make new moves that enable them to be free of the vicious cycles they get stuck in. George teaches couples that they can understand the pattern and work together. It is all about trusting the other partner and being able to change the dynamic. George Faller is a husband father, therapist, educator, speaker, writer, and global leading in helping people reconnect and strengthen their relationships. He is a certified Supervisor/Trainer/Therapist in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, where he serves as president. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes. Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Check out George's website at georgefaller.com Find out more about George's book Sacred Stress
Welcome to episode twenty-seven of the Honest Mamas Podcast! Today, we speak to Avi Klein, LSCW, about the emotional states he regularly sees in couples expecting a baby, how he gets couples to connect through this difficult period, and how to improve intimacy after having a child. Avi is a psychotherapist, father of two, and lifelong New Yorker practicing in Union Square. He has been working with men, women and couples since 2009 after graduating from the Columbia University School of Social Work. Ten years ago, he began working with homeless families in San Francisco and realized how powerful it was to work on behalf of people—hearing their stories, witnessing their resilience, and participating in their growth and healing. He became a psychotherapist after experiencing firsthand the power of a strong therapeutic relationship. As his practice developed, he came to recognize how fundamental relationships are to the way people make sense of their world and has focused on helping people nourish themselves and their relationships. While studying at the Ackerman Institute for the Family, Avi also worked in outpatient mental health clinics in Chelsea and Upper Manhattan. Prior to starting his own practice, Avi helped run one of the first programs dedicated to working specifically with young adults with severe mental illnesses—St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital. While there, he also co-lead a yoga and meditation group and began to appreciate the importance of working with both mind and body as a psychotherapist. Avi is trained in AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), two forms of therapy that emphasize the power of emotion, healing & transformation in relationships. His work also borrows from narrative therapy, mindfulness and body-oriented therapies. He has a special interest in supporting new families and is currently working on a workshop to support new and expectant parents as well as other educational programs for adults to support emotional well-being. What you’ll hear in this episode The emotional states Avi regularly sees from couples expecting a baby How Avi gets couples to connect through this difficult period The ways in which Avi helps couples to show up authentically to each other The need for vulnerability to help with communication How to clear some of the issues that have arisen in the past The need to have repair between a couple Navigating arguments and not letting them get nasty How to improve intimacy after having a child Learning to be grateful and thankful to each other Resources https://www.aviklein.com https://www.instagram.com/thecompassproject
Jim Enright interviews Stuart Fensterheim, a counselor specializing in couples therapy. Failure to care about a partner’s needs leads to arguments, pain, frustration and could eventually lead to a relationship’s demise. Stuart shares how couples can build and repair their relationship to truly lead a happy life. He discusses the value of accessing outside help as soon as possible and why Emotionally Focused Theory (EFT) in an incredible tool to help solve marital problems. Stuart also urges all couples to acknowledge the effort that their spouses put in small, day-to-day tasks, as a way to show your appreciation for them. Tune-in and discover ways to nurture, repair and ultimately have a relationship that you so desire and is made of pure GOLD. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:58 – Boomers need to concentrate on relationships along with health and finance ● 01:25 – Today’s guest, Stuart Fensterheim, has been counseling and teaching couples for the past three decades ● 03:37 – Originally a teacher, counseling is Stuart’s second profession; having watched his dad be in a profession that he resented all his life, he is grateful that he got a chance to take up a career that he really enjoys o 06:00 – Started working as a couple’s counselor with a family agency o 06:18 – Since he experienced a lot of pain and anguish from his parent’s divorce; started providing couple’s therapy in order to make a difference ● 07:19 – Leading a FULL and PRODUCTIVE life o 07:19 – A full and productive life is one through which you can make an impact o 07:32 – Need to establish a CONNECTION with the people in our world: our kids, our parents and most importantly, our spouse ● 09:41 – The key to your business success is your relationship at home ● 10:42 – A good relationship is the FOUNDATION of a happy life; if the foundation is shaky, then the house above it is going to be shaky as well ● 12:29 – Often the fights that keep on plaguing a relationship tend to injure a relationship; the trigger, rather than the actual issue, is what causes a fight o 13:47 – A true partner cares about your needs; absence of this care results in an insecure relationship ● 14:04 – Adopts an experimental approach that lets you DISCOVER something new about your partner o 14:53 – Negative experiences results in people building emotional walls around themselves o 15:35 – No sooner does a wife express a desire to talk, a man goes into an emotional shutdown; Stuart attempts to prevent this emotional shutdown ● 16:29 – The fact that couples fights a lot is NOT the problem; the real problem is that they do not REPAIR enough ● 20:00 – A relationship that is authentic and vulnerable is like real GOLD ● 20:57 – What causes a relationship to be SABOTAGED o 20:57 – Beliefs about your partner which are not accurate and acting as if they are o 21:18 – Triggers that lead to cycles of fighting o 21:45 – In the midst of a heated argument, it would really help if you could tell your spouse, “I love you. I don’t like how we are talking to each other. Could we do something that would make this easier?” ● 23:02 – Relationships are not “nice to have” but “have to have” ● 23:26 – People who are unable to establish an emotional connection tend to be in an emotionally dark state and do awful things ● 23:58 – Having a great relationship with your spouse results has a domino effect on your friends and family ● 26:00 – A big proponent of pre-marital counseling, Stuart believes that you need to have dialogue with regards to your triggers and insecurities before your marriage o 26:35 – Equips you to deal with challenges such as loss of job, raising kids and extra marital affairs o 26:52 – Likelihood of having an affair decreases through pre-marital counseling; affairs are a means to remove loneliness and sex is just a means to achieve that o 27:47 – Baby boomers need to encourage their children to take up premarital counseling o 28:35 – Zero-in on specialists who are predominantly dealing with couples ● 29:57 – One of the few attachment-based therapists, Stuart concentrates on dealing with the emotional aspects of a relationship; read Susan Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love to learn more about attachment-based therapy ● 30:18 – Alternatively, you can visit Stuart’s website to learn more about attachment-based therapy; you can also tune-in to the Couple Expert’s Podcast ● 30:34 – Gottman method is the other theoretical framework that deals with couples counseling ● 31:35 – Believes that divorce happens because people give up; if you don’t give up, you will eventually get there o 32:00 – Resorting to EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) can save a marriage o 32:20 – Does not believe that a divorce is necessary, except in extreme cases where there is substance abuse and domestic violence o 33:08 – Research shows that couples tend to take the help of a therapist six years too late; resorting to help earlier when there are no emotional walls will surely save a marriage ● 34:34 – Face-to-face therapy is the best option since you can connect better with a person; however, if a couple has busy work schedules, Stuart also does Skype calls ● 35:52 – HIGHLY recommends pre-marital counseling to baby boomers considering remarriage; 50% of remarriages tend to end in divorce ● 37:06 – Get someone to guide you to remove the things that hinder the closeness of your marriage ● 38:41 – Celebrate your marriage by following RITUALS like going on a trip or renewing vows ● 39:05 – Every single day of your marriage, tell your partner how MEANINGFUL they are to you ● 40:34 – Emotional autopsy of a past marriage is important before proceeding into another relationship; figure out what did not work out in that past, and what you were accountable for ● 42:49 – Staying apart from your partner for some time will help you realize what your partner does for you ● 45:35 – As we age, you can enjoy the fruits of your labor in your marriage ● 47:34 – Listens to music by The Grateful Dead, Joni Mitchell and The Allman Brothers ● 49:52 – Wants to die while making love to his wife, Debbie, at the age of 99! ● 50:23 – Cut off ties with his family for a 10-year period on the insistence of his ex-wife; even in a relationship, there are certain lines that cannot be crossed o 51:59 – A relationship should fit into who you are; there should be no sacrifices because all it breeds is resentment o 52:32 – Be in a relationship with someone who has equal values, morals, ethics and desires ● 53:29 – Get a 2 minute video, 5 days a week by signing onto Stuart’s website ● 54:04 – Subscribe to Stuart’s podcast and YouTube channel ● 54:36 – Attend a 2 day, seven conversation weekend hosted by Stuart ● 55:43 – Jim Enright’s sign-off message: Be stellar, and live life lively Enjoying this episode? Please Subscribe and Rate in iTunes. 3 Key Points: 1. An AUTHENTIC and VULNERABLE relationship is like real gold. 2. Utilizing resources and seeking help such as Emotionally Focused Therapy will help you rebuild your relationship and save your marriage. 3. Show your appreciation for your partner; acknowledge the effort that your partner puts into small, day-to-day tasks.
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