Podcasts about divorce conversations

In this insightful episode of Divorce Conversations for Women, Rhonda Noordyk welcomes mortgage expert and CDLP® trailblazer Jody Bruns for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about a critical—but often overlooked—component of divorce: mortgage planning. Together, they unpack the unique financial, legal, and emotional challenges women face when trying to keep, refinance, or buy a home during divorce. Jody shares cautionary tales, real-life case studies, and empowering advice designed to help women avoid common missteps and build a more stable financial future. This episode is more than just numbers—it's about protecting your future, understanding your options, and ensuring your divorce settlement truly supports your next chapter.  

Today, we're talking about something that can make or break any relationship—communication. And I mean all relationships—whether it's with your former spouse, your children, your co-workers, or even your new romantic partner. Now, let's be real. Divorce often magnifies every little communication struggle we already had in our marriage. And suddenly, we're faced with some really tough conversations—about co-parenting, finances, boundaries, and moving forward. If we don't learn how to communicate well, we can end up in a never-ending cycle of frustration, misunderstandings, and unnecessary conflict. I want to help you break that cycle by teaching you a simple but powerful communication technique to help you navigate difficult conversations confidently, clearly, and gracefully. Dealing with an ex can be tricky at the best of times. The relationship with your ex may be one of the most challenging, complicated relationships you have, so it's the ideal place for you to practice improving your communication skills. I want to introduce you to a simple yet powerful method that can completely transform the way you approach difficult conversations. It's called the SCI Communication Technique, and it's a kind, Christ-like approach to expressing yourself with clarity, respect, and love. Even when emotions are high, this method helps keep the conversation constructive instead of combative. • Join me for a FREE WEBINAR: How to Move from Heartbreak to Healing on March 13, 2025 at 12 pm MTN / 2 pm EST. Your First Step Toward Emotional Freedom Starts Here! REGISTER HERE:https://calendly.com/jennzingmark/movefromheartbreaktohealing • Join my FREE Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/findthejoywithjenn • Join my exclusive Life Coaching and Divorce Mentoring Program Faith Filled Divorce HERE: httpshttps:https://www.findthejoywithjenn.com/program-details • Get your FREE Podcast Atlas at: https://www.findthejoywithjenn.com/joy-in-the-journey-podcast • Make sure you are part of the Find the Joy With Jenn Fam! Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/findthejoywithjenn/ • Check out podcast episode #116 to learn about improving communication with your Ex. Link here: https://www.findthejoywithjenn.com/joy-in-the-journey-podcast/episode/8f8e2a52/116-the-best-ways-to-improve-communication-with-your-ex • Thank you so much for listening to this episode! I'm honored and excited to be on this journey to healing and personal growth with you. If you enjoyed the podcast, I'd love to ask you to take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review on your podcast app; that way, we can help even more men and women find joy in their divorce journeys. You can win a $100 AMAZON GIFT when you do! Just send a screenshot of your review to jenn@jennzingmark.com. Make sure you put "Podcast Review" in the subject line. XO- Jenn

Join Divorce Skool at ⁠⁠⁠https://Skool.com/divorce⁠⁠⁠ *** Brought to you by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠OurFamilyWizard⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Join more than 1 million parents & family law professionals who trust⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠OurFamilyWizard⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. *** Ashley and I talk about guidelines for how to deal with those awkward conversations with family members about your divorce. Ashley Wood is a Divorce Coach. You can find her at: ⁠AshleyWoodDivorcecoach.com ⁠ And on her helpful & hilarious IG: ⁠@⁠⁠TheConsciousCoparent⁠⁠ ⁠ *** Follow WTF Divorce

The Mohua Show is a weekly podcast about everything from business, technology to art and lifestyle, But done and spoken ईमानदारी सेConnect with UsMohua Chinappa: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohua-chinappa/The Mohua Show: https://www.themohuashow.com/Follow UsYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMohuaShowInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/themohuashow/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/themohuashow/For any other queries EMAILhello@themohuashow.comMohua's BookIf Only It Were Spring Everyday: https://amzn.eu/d/ieUSuDYDEAR EX PODCAST SERIES: Welcome to Dear EX, a new podcast series from the creators of The Mohua Show. In this podcast show, we will speak to individuals who've had the courage to call it quits in their relationships and marriages when it wasn't working any longer.We will discuss the dreaded D word of divorce, which most of us shy away from. DearEX will speak to once married, now single folks, people going through heartbreak, counsellors and lawyers to bring you honest, drippy truths of what it took to say no more. We all know to call it quits isn't easy. To D or not to D isn't really an easy question to answer. Episode 1: In the first episode of our Dear EX, Namrata Chadda joins us to delve into the intricacies of divorce, exploring gender bias, societal pressures, and the pursuit of personal freedom. With over two decades of experience in addressing violence against women, Namrata offers valuable insights into the emotional challenges and societal norms both men and women face during and after a marital dissolution. We discuss the impact of gender discrimination within the institution of marriage and motherhood, as well as the role of the media and society in shaping stereotypes. Through engaging stories and the metaphor of a bird's life, we underscore the importance of personal independence and encourage listeners to reflect on their own paths to self-discovery post-divorce. Join us for a candid conversation that navigates the complexities of ending a marriage and the bravery required to rebuild and reclaim one's identity.DisclaimerThe views expressed by our guests are their own. We do not endorse and are not responsible for any views expressed by our guests on our podcast and its associated platforms.#DivorceEquality #GenderBias #SocietalPressures #DivorceJourney #Podcast #RebuildingAfterDivorce #DomesticViolenceAwareness #MenAndDivorce #EqualityInDivorce #DivorceConversations #EmotionalAbuse#UnderstandingDivorceThanks for Listening!

Unlock the secrets of navigating financial turmoil during divorce with Rhonda Noordyk, the visionary behind the Women's Financial Wellness Center. Our conversation is an expedition through the landscape of trauma-informed financial guidance, where emotional intelligence is as crucial as the numbers themselves. Rhonda's transformation from academic to champion of women's financial literacy lays the groundwork for our discussion on why understanding the emotional underpinnings of finance is vital for making sound decisions amidst life's upheavals.Feel the power of empathy and strategy interwoven in professional services, as we draw parallels with a healthcare company's women-focused approach (but this episode is just as relevant for men, too!) Personalized financial strategies tailored to each woman's life stage and priorities are necessary for navigating any transition, and we underscore the importance of professionals who genuinely embody trauma-informed principles. Our friend and Chicago family law attorney Raiford Palmer's insights on client relationships in legal contexts further illuminate our talk, driving home the necessity of asking probing questions to ensure you're getting the support that goes beyond mere words.Step into the stories of resilience as we spotlight women reclaiming their financial autonomy post-divorce. Emphasizing the importance of self-assurance and informed decision-making, we herald the courage of those who've turned the tide—buying businesses, mastering negotiations, and shaping case law. Resources like Rhonda's podcast, "Divorce Conversations for Women," and an actionable quiz are just a click away for those seeking guidance. Join us for a discussion that's not just about survival but about thriving and leaving a legacy of empowerment.

We have some exciting news and a special announcement! Join Rhonda as she outlines her thought process about the new name for the podcast, and why we're making this small but powerful shift.    Rhonda covers:   The origin story of the podcast Client stories How she can help you if you're contemplating or moving through the divorce process Your host is Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA®, Founder & CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center   Rhonda has dedicated her career to being an advocate for women and educating them on how financial strategies can impact their personal and professional success. Her work has shown women going through a divorce how to have a voice, be assertive, get results, be driven, and move forward with confidence.    For Rhonda and her company, the Women's Financial Wellness Center, helping women isn't just about running the numbers. It's about asking the right questions, demystifying myths and biases around finances, and helping women walk in their power. Rhonda is passionate about helping her clients navigate a broken system and level the playing field so they can achieve success—pre, during, and post-divorce.    Grab our National Resource Guide HERE!   Sign up for my Masterclass: Women and Divorce   We love putting out great content for you!  Do us a favor?   Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode! Download and share with a friend who might need to hear these conversations. Leave a positive podcast review - ratings and reviews help others find the show!  

Rhonda Noordyk is the host of the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and CEO of the Women's Financial Wellness Center. In her work, she helps women ask tough questions so that they get the answers that they need to navigate the divorce process.  This week on the Toaster, Rhonda shares her insights on financial awareness in the marriage and why it is so important to a healthy communication practice, and a healthy divorce. Her practice is just a part one resource in the process, so she shares her recommendations around building your divorce team with counseling and insurance specialists and more.Links & NotesWomen's Financial Wellness CenterDivorce Conversations for Women Podcast (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (05:07) - Questions Unique to Women (08:23) - Starting the Divorce Process (16:26) - Starting the Financial Discussions (20:19) - Setting Up a New Client's Expectations (21:47) - Helping Those Afraid of Finances (23:41) - Example Advice (28:15) - Quadro (32:55) - Building the Team (35:32) - Wrapping Up Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Today we are joined by Rhonda Noordyk who is a financial strategist for women going through a divorce. Rhonda is an incredible resource for women who are thinking about moving forward with divorce or who are in the trenches of their divorce journey. During the episode we discuss the biggest challenge for women who are going through the separation process, how women can become more confident, and then Rhonda summarizes her signature program. Tune in today as there is so many incredible nuggets Rhonda shares with us! In this episode: [3:02] Rhonda tells us why she became a financial strategist for divorce. [5:52] What does Rhonda see as the biggest challenge for women facing divorce? [7:00] How does Rhonda help people decide whether it's time to stay or go? [10:59] How can women become more confident through the divorce process? [13:30] Rhonda gives us an example of how she gained experience in an unknown area. [18:32] What is Rhonda's signature process for helping women financially through a divorce? Key Takeaways:  The first step before even looking at the budget is working through the fear and the things holding you back. With the right team in place, the finances can be manageable, but believing in yourself and finding your courage are the first steps to making the divorce experience smoother. The budget previews the current and future but also helps with negotiations. Pretty much any question that is asked pretty much goes back to the budget. Knowledge + Experience = Confidence. If we know without experience, it's just theory. If we have just experience but not knowledge, it's just trial and error, but those two things working together are really powerful.  Quote:  “Look at all the things you've done to get to this point. You are capable; you're smart; you're able to make big, great decisions. Not saying we don't need input, but we have to limit the amount of noise that we have in our mind and start reacquainting ourselves with our own brilliance and ability to make decisions” - Rhonda Noordyk   Guest Bio:  Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA® | CDS 5  Unspoken Truths about Money & Divorce7 Secrets to Winning Divorce Negotiations3 Key Chess Strategies that Apply to Divorce What is THE question you often get? What are the top three financial challenges for women going through a divorce? How do you help women who are going through a divorce? What would you say if you could share one thing with women contemplating or going through a divorce? What can women do to determine their next best move? Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA®, is a well-respected divorce financial strategist. She is known internationally for her work in pioneering a  path for women to navigate through the financial aspects of the divorce process. As a  strategist,  Rhonda helps her clients determine their next best financial move. Rhonda is the host of the Divorce Conversations for Women podcast. She brings a  unique blend  of casual conversation,  strategic insight, and positive energy to her show. She uses her interview experience to help women ask the right questions so they get the right answers. Rhonda is a  trained  Financial  Coach,  Certified  Divorce  Financial Analyst®,  Certified  Divorce  Specialist®  and  Founder/CEO  of  The Women's Financial Wellness Center.  She has been featured in several online publications: SD Voyager, Better After  50,  Thrive  Global,  and  Medium.  She  has  also  been  a  featured expert on several divorce podcasts: Should I Stay or Should I Go, How to Split  a  Toaster,  The  Divorce  Hour,  Divorce  Stories,  and  The  Divorce Rehab. Resources:  Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast Women's Financial Wellness Center WebsiteLesa Koski Website Lesa's Online Courses The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Today, I will be delving into the financial dimension of divorce with Rhonda Noordyk. Rhonda Noordyk, a CDFA® certified professional, specializes in guiding women through the financial complexities of divorce. She has made a name for herself by trailblazing new strategies that empower women to navigate the financial aspects of divorce with confidence. Rhonda's expertise as a financial strategist helps her clients make informed decisions and determine their best financial options going forward. A glimpse into what you'll learn in this episode: Why you can leave an abusive relationship no matter your financial situation How to be assertive whilst avoiding conflict  How the divorce process can lead to post-separation financial abuse During this discussion, Rhonda and I explore the roots of her passion for empowering women, tracing back to her childhood, 12 years in the financial industry, and experience in higher education. We delve into the unfortunate reality that many women remain in abusive relationships due to their financial circumstances. Rhonda provides invaluable insight into why it is crucial to leave an abusive relationship regardless of your finances and how you can do so. Don't miss the conclusion where Rhonda offers guidance on what steps to take if you feel trapped, scared, and uncertain about your financial situation before initiating a divorce. Connect with Rhonda: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhondanoordyk/?hl=en Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divorce-conversations-for-women/id1368648405 Women's Financial Wellness Center: https://wfwcdivorce.com Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

"Women Winning Divorce" is a radio show and podcast hosted by Heather Quick, CEO and Owner of Florida Women's Law Group. Each week we focus on different aspects of family law to help guide women through the difficult and emotional legal challenges they are facing. Heather brings over 20 years of law experience that advocates and empowers women to achieve happier and healthier lives. Join Heather each week as she discusses family law issues including divorce, custody, alimony, paternity, narcissism, mediation and more. This program was created to provide tips and insight to women with family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice because every situation is different. Visit us at https://www.womenwinningdivorce.com/ for more resources. Text us at 904-944-6800 for a copy of Heather's Top 5 Divorce Tips. If you have questions or a topic you would like Heather to cover, email us at marketing@4womenlaw.com

Join as we discuss Divorce --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Rhonda Noordyk is the CEO & Founder of Women's Financial Wellness Center and host of the Divorce Conversations for Women podcast. Rhonda has dedicated her career to being an advocate for women and educating them on how financial strategies can impact their personal and professional success. Her work has shown women going through a divorce how to have a voice, be assertive, get results, be driven, and move forward with confidence. For Rhonda and her company, the Women's Financial Wellness Center, helping women isn't just about running the numbers. It's about asking the right questions, demystifying myths and biases around finances, and helping women walk in their power. Rhonda is passionate about helping her clients navigate a broken system and level the playing field so they can achieve success during and after their divorce. As an accomplished speaker and international author, Rhonda has been interviewed on several national and local platforms as a financial expert, including Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and the Morning Blend. She has been featured on Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, The Divorce Hour Radio Show, Better Over 50 online publication, and many more! Whether you're a stay-at-home mom whose husband is in positions of power (emotionally and financially) or a high-income earner, Rhonda and her team advocate for women and help them stop overcompensating their financials out of guilt or shame. What You Will Learn: What the Women's Financial Wellness Center does to help women going through divorce become confident and comfortable around the topic of money How our beliefs about money shape the way we approach our finances, and why it's important to talk about these beliefs in a relationship Why women need to practice setting boundaries in order to make it a habit moving forward What skills you can practice to be prepared when you are faced with confrontation Rhonda's actionable advice for anyone looking to have a better relationship with money How to contact Rhonda Noordyk: Website: https://www.wfwcdivorce.com/ Book a Discovery Call: https://wfwc.as.me/30minutediscoverycallRN Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhondanoordyk/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wfwcdivorce/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhondanoordyk/

Rhonda Noordyk joins me to discuss her customized strategy women can use for financial wellness before, during, and after divorce. Often not having experience around household finances during marriage leads women to financial injustice post-divorce. In this episode, Rhonda shares her passion for helping women achieve financial justice and financial wellness. Rhonda is the Founder and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, is the host of the podcast, Divorce Conversations for Women, a public speaker, and a CDFA-credentialed financial expert, who understands that divorce can be a complicated and painful journey. Join us for this empowering conversation. Show Highlights Why women need education about financial wellness. (7:04) Why Rhonda believes the divorce system is broken. (11:49) Women need to show up, ask questions, and be sure they are getting fair and equitable property and income. (13:32) The biggest financial challenge for women going through a divorce. (15:57) There is a difference between even and equitable. (17:50) A deep dive into creating a budget. It's not just about figuring out what you need for child support. (21:21) Negotiating and how the acronym ANOT (acknowledge, naturally, obviously, the ask) can help. (22:46) Women see a 41% decrease in their standard of living after divorce! (25:47) We, as women, must be willing to be uncomfortable and ask for what we need, and still be respectful and firm, all at the same time. When we learn how to do that, it is extremely powerful. (33:23) Financial abuse can continue after divorce. (40:58) Changing your mindset around money and how your budget can be empowering (and not restrictive). (45:09) Learn More About Rhonda Noordyk: Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA®, CDS™ | Founder & CEO - Understanding that divorce can be a complicated and painful journey, Rhonda Noordyk left the financial industry in 2014 to pursue her passion of helping women achieve financial justice in their divorce. She hoped to offer a different kind of divorce experience; one that led to empowering moments and living a happy and fulfilled life, post-divorce.  Cue the Women's Financial Wellness Center! Designed to help women find a better way to maintain financial wellness throughout and after a woman's divorce, Rhonda uses her knowledge, passion, and experience to build leading-edge strategies that help her clients stay three steps ahead at all times. With the intention to create a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, their voices, and the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations, Rhonda works to change the narrative of her clients' divorce experiences.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed and lost in the process, Rhonda works to develop strategies that help women move through and out of their marriage into a new life filled with endless possibility. With a vision to open Women's Financial Wellness Center branches throughout the country, Rhonda hopes to help even more women figure out what is best for themselves and their families. In April 2020, Rhonda and her team opened a second location in Madison, WI. They are currently in the process of opening five more locations to reach even more women and assist them in realizing their financial goals. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda has successfully alleviated financial vulnerability for thousands of women.  In addition to being the Founder & CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda hosts a podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.  To connect with Rhonda directly, email her at Rhonda@wfwcllc.com. Resources & Links: Women's Financial Center website Women's Financial Center on Facebook Rhonda on Twitter Rhonda on LinkedIn Rhonda on Instagram TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to ‘go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!!

Ashley and I talk about guidelines for how to deal with those awkward conversations with family members about your divorce. Ashley Wood is a Divorce Coach You can find her at: AshleyWoodDivorcecoach.com And on her helpful & hilarious IG: @TheConsciousCoparent ******

Dennis talks with Rhonda Noordyk about the importance of understanding your finances during the divorce process. Rhonda is a Certified Financial Education Instructor, the CEO of the Women's Financial Wellness Center and host of the Divorce Conversations for Women podcast. Connect with RhondaWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn Get in Touch with Dennis https://linktr.ee/DRVlaw

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Amanda Singer. Amanda is Co-Owner of West Coast Family Mediation Center. She is a Licensed Attorney, Certified Mediator, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Amanda's key area of practice is mediation.  According to Amanda, mediation is not going to work in all situations, but it does in a lot more than people realize. Some couples might agree on everything and they just might need more help with getting things done correctly. And there are those that agree on nothing. At least they have to both agree on mediation. Communication is not easy. Make sure you utilize the mediator's expertise to help you through this process, especially if you have kids.  Here are some of Amanda's recommendations about mediation and communication during the divorce process: Mediation is a voluntary process and both partners have to be willing to participate, compromise, and communicate.   Once you're already in mediation, share your concerns with the mediator. Think about how you're communicating with your spouse, or soon be your ex-spouse during the process. It is important to take a step back and think about what it is you're saying and how it is going to be received.  Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Amanda Singer, Co-Owner and Professional Family Mediator, Licensed Attorney, Certified Mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.  Here's how Amanda describes herself: I am a proud co-owner and professional family mediator of West Coast Family Mediation Center (parent company of San Diego Family Mediation Center and California Family Mediation Center in Orange County). We are dedicated to helping families deal with conflict constructively and find ways to improve communication, solve problems, and reach agreements on legal and non-legal issues. I have seen litigation destroy relationships. I am passionate about mediation, which helps our clients maintain a relationship and get to the heart of the issues that are causing conflict. We help families through all stages of life including pre-marital mediation, marital mediation, divorce mediation, parenting plans, blended family mediation, and estate planning distribution. Our goal is to help educate you on the benefits of mediation and see how we can help. I have my JD from Chapman University School of Law as well as my Masters in Dispute Resolution from The Straus Institute of Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law. I have completed extensive mediation training, including certification as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram| YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Gregg Murset, the CEO of BusyKid, which is the ultimate debit card and app that helps teach kids how to manage their own money. Gregg is a Certified Financial Planner and consultant who has become a great advocate for sound parenting. In this episode, Gregg shares the importance of teaching your kids the value of money and managing it. He gives us some good tips on how you could help your kids have a better future by teaching them about the financial aspects of life.  According to Gregg, it's important to know the balanced financial approach to financial management which is what our kids need to learn. Who is a better teacher than you, right? His message for you today is: Teach you kids while they're young.  Here are some of his tips: A balanced financial approach includes saving, sharing and spending. You need to teach your kids what these three things are and what they do to help us manage our money. It's the reality of life and they should know this while they're young. Preparing them for the future is a gift that they will eventually thank you for.  Teach them real life skills like earning money through allowances or chores. Kids learn best through experience. The rubber meets the road when they're actually experiencing real life scenarios. If you do this, you set up your kids for future success.  Be consistent and use technology, These are two important aspects of building your kid's success. Teach them to consistently earn money, save a little bit, share a little bit and spend on their card. If you completely fall off the wagon, then just get back on. You don't have to be perfect but be consistent. Plus, use technology for your benefit and just go with the flow.  Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Gregg Murset. Gregg Murset is a Certified Financial Planner and consultant. For more than 20 years, he has been successful in his personal insurance and financial services practice. A graduate of Arizona State University with a degree in finance, he has earned multiple professional designations in his industry.  In addition, he is the CEO and Co-Founder of BusyKid. He has become a leading advocate for sound parenting, child accountability and financial literacy. As a father of six, he decided to throw away the old-school paper chore chart and found a way to combine the old method with technology.  Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In today's episode, Rhonda is joined by Bridget Potterton. Bridget is a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert in the state of California. Today they discuss the things you should be considering before selling your home during your divorce. Selling your home could be a tough decision due to various reasons such as emotional attachment, but you must consider everything when making this big decision in your life.  Bridget reminds today's listeners to be careful and consider everything in making your decision.   Here are some of the key points to the discussion that make this a worthy listen: The key is to take a deep breath and really think through the strategy before you make a decision of whether or not to either buy out a spouse, if that's possible, or whether you need to sell the home. Take a look at the numbers, options and data to make a good decision, not leaving the emotional part at the door but also not forgetting that there is some logic that goes along with the decision making as well.  Hire the right people on your journey. It's not easy to go through a divorce and you need the right professionals along the way. It's important to have experts that you need which could save you time, money, energy and mistakes.  The best time to sell is when both parties are getting along.  Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Bridget Potterton who is a Real Estate Divorce Specialist and owner of the Bridget Coast Team at Keller Williams San Diego Metro. She has been real estate for 18 years and her first real estate divorce case was early on in her career. She is the only real estate broker in all of California who has both the Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert designation.  Website | LinkedIn | Facebook ____________________________________________________________________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In today's episode, I sat down with David Iancu of Karp & Iancu, S.C. law firm in the state of Wisconsin, to debunk some of the myths surrounding divorce.  Disclaimer! The discussion that we had pertains specifically to the laws on divorce in the State of Wisconsin. What we discussed may not apply to you as each state has its own laws pertaining to this matter.  Nevertheless, I am encouraging you to listen to our discussion because there might be things that you didn't initially consider that could be touched upon here.    Right off the bat, David Iancu gives his most important advice to people considering divorce and it is this: Get as much intel or information as you can!  He notes that people often lack knowledge about the divorce process. Thus, he encourages you to look out for information to gain clarity about your situation.  Listen to this episode to learn the truth about myths in divorce.   Here are some of the myths that spouses believe:  Myth 1 - "We get to keep what we had before we got married." Myth 2 - "The placement of our children will be on a 50-50 basis." Myth 3 - "The judge will approve any settlement we agree on." Contact Information and Other Resources  Our guest today was David Iancu, the managing partner of the firm, chief client consultant, and often-sought mediator. Well-known as an innovator in the Milwaukee legal market, he has built Karp & Iancu into a family law powerhouse. The son of immigrants, David is a first-generation American. He attended college at Drake University where he graduated magna cum laude. He is a graduate of Marquette University Law School, where he graduated cum laude. Website  LinkedIn Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include assertive communication, boundaries, leadership, and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference, and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time and leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

For today's episode, Rhonda is joined by Nicole Cheri Oden. Nicole is an attorney licensed in the State of California for almost 10 years with her own virtual law practice. Today they will discuss the various options when going through a divorce. Litigation divorce isn't the only way and being aware of these options can help families minimize the emotional stress and costs during a difficult time. Taking a step back to review the emotional climate between the two parties can eventually help smoothen the journey through divorce.  Nicole sternly reminds today's listeners that divorces don't necessarily need to be amicable to be successful but to be respectful. Here are some key points to the discussion that makes this a worthy listen: There is more than one way to get a divorce. Listen now to know what to consider when choosing between mediation, collaborative process, cooperative process, and limited scope representation.  Divorce is not free - It will cost time and money so choose wisely on how you spend it. It might cost more to switch gears midway so choose the process that fits you.  Choosing the right team is essential. This is a sensitive and personal time of your life and you should be able to have the lawyer that you're comfortable with.    Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Nicole Cheri Oden. Nicole Cheri Oden is an attorney licensed in the State of California with her company Nicole Cheri Oden Law, PC. Nicole has a settlement-minded family law practice. As a mediator, collaborative law, and consulting attorney assisting families through legal separation and divorce, paternity, and post- judgment modification proceedings, Nicole has volunteered with the Domestic Violence Project located in Department 8 of the Stanley Mosk Courthouse in Downtown LA and is passionate about child custody issues. Website | LinkedIn | Facebook ____________________________________________________________________________   Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Ariel Kopac, the founder and owner of Harness Your Hindrance. They talk about money and the mindsets that keep us stuck. We all experience fears around money, and that fear is heightened when there is a significant life change, especially divorce. Knowing that you can call out the fear, face it, and not be manipulated by it, you embrace the power you have. We can be manipulated by fear, or we can manipulate our fear. The choice is ours. Women going through divorce need to know that they have the power to choose. Ariel's message to you today is: Whatever you decide, know that your greatest limitations are always those that you place upon yourself.  Listen to this episode and learn about some of the strategies that may impact your mindset around money.  Here are some of them: Whenever you focus on what you do not want, you are keeping your focus there instead of on what you do want.  Our associations are powerful and can be helpful or hurtful. Reframe money as a tool that you use.  You have to know your truth, so you can deflect the lies and stay strong and focused on what you want to say. You have to know what is your ideal and what is nonnegotiable. Take out time for yourself, figure out what you want first, and then go into conversation.   Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Ariel Kopac. Ariel is the Founder and Owner of Harness Your Hindrance.  Here's how Ariel describes herself: I am a mindset business coach, focused on empowering people to find and face the fears that are holding them back from reaching their next level of success. My professional background is in training and development for financial advisors. My curiosity for understanding what holds people back was strongly prompted there. My passion for tapping into the potential of a person has led to my founding of Harness Your Hindrance. I have studied personality assessments, neuro-linguistic programming, limiting beliefs coaching, and human behavior concepts to learn how to tap into the mind and maneuver mindsets. Clients have called me a "mental ninja" as we have discovered what was deep in their mindset, holding them back from pursuing what they want. Website | LinkedIn   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

Women are disproportionately impacted by divorce when it comes to financial settlements. Many women end up in poverty following a divorce, especially mothers.  Ameé speaks with a certified financial advisor and consultant, Rhonda Noordyk, to discusses the impact divorce has on women's finances and how to make better financial decisions when it comes to divorce.Rhonda's organization, The Women's Financial Wellness Center, helps women gain confidence and protect them from financial vulnerability during the divorce process. Rhonda also had a podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women. Resources:https://www.wfwcdivorce.com/Links to buy The Fearless Woman's Guide to Starting a BusinessAmazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nABarnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuideBookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshopVisit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Elizabeth Kay, the Morning Show host on 99.1 The Mix and podcast host of “50 Shades of Kay”. Elizabeth talks about her divorce process, the things she did, and the things she wished she did differently. She also talks about her life after divorce. According to her, you are going to have tough days, even after the divorce, because you need the time to mourn your relationship. Elizabeth also shares about her life in a blended family and gives some excellent co-parenting tips. She highly recommends the book The Happy Stepmother by Rachelle Katz, which is very helpful and easy to read.     Elizabeth's message to the women going through the divorce is: Put your needs first and do not apologize for it, even if there are kids involved in the divorce. If you do not take care of yourself, and put your oxygen mask on first, you are going to suffer the consequences of that down the road, and ultimately, so will your children.  Here are some of her recommendations: You are in the stage of the process where you are thinking very emotionally. And you are making permanent decisions. Put your power team together that will get you through and help you realize that you are not alone.  And find someone you can talk to that is completely not involved and does not know all the people involved. You can picture something in your future, but it does not always happen. It is good to plan, but sometimes you need not be so strict with the plan. You have to follow your gut. Your kids are paying attention. They hear things, they pick up on things. If you have any frustrations do not say them in front of a child. That does not do anybody any good, and there are always two sides to every story. Get out of your ego.  Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Elizabeth Kay. She is the Morning Show host on 99.1 The Mix in the Greater Milwaukee area, and she also has her podcast called 50 Shades of Kay. Here is how Elizabeth describes herself:  I host the Elizabeth and Radar morning radio show on 99.1 The Mix in Milwaukee, and I host a woman's lifestyle podcast, 50 Shades of Kay. I went through a divorce eight years ago, and now I am remarried. I have a 16-year-old stepson. This past March, I donated my kidney on behalf of my mother-in-law through the paired kidney exchange program. I enjoy working out, traveling, cheering for our Wisconsin sports teams, playing with our boxer Mila and going to concerts. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Amee Quiriconi. Amee is an advocate, business consultant, speaker, author, and the owner of Activity Girl, LLC. Amee has been divorced twice and has learned valuable lessons from each experience. According to Amee, divorce is emotional. We have to find space in our divorce process to breathe, to calm down, and to come back to the really hard decisions that we have to make when we are not amplified, and elevated, stressed down, and depressed. Here are some of her thoughts and recommendations: Support system is invaluable. It is hard to do this on your own, especially in a high-conflict situation. We have to figure out where can we get resources of people that are not in the swirl, in the perimeter of the hurricane, but are sitting safely and calmly in the middle. Divorce is hard. And if you haven't done therapy or counseling for the duration of your divorce, I highly recommend finding somebody who can help you with that because divorce is triggering a lot of things in us. Pivot, stop and think about what you're doing. Treat it like a business. We have to be able to evaluate what is the cost – emotionally, financially… and what is the potential of returning our investment. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Amee Quiriconi, Business Consultant, Speaker, and Autor, the owner of Activity Girl LCC. Here's how Amee describes herself: Unfortunately, I've divorced a couple of times and had to deal with financial abuse before and during a divorce. My financial turnaround in my life was of the hardest things to do, but it happened. I am an advocate for women and their financial independence, even if happily married because you never know when life will happen, and you will need to support yourself (and maybe kids) all on your own. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Attorney Dan Exner, Family Law and Divorce Lawyer, and the Founder of Exner Legal, LLC. They talk about mediation. There are some misperceptions about mediation. Mediation is not an alternative to the divorce process. And mediator is not an attorney that's there to advise people. Mediators are not supposed to give you any kind of direction - their role is either to find the middle ground or to figure out where there is none.  The one thing Dan wants you to know is: You need to be empowered with as much information as possible before you go down this path, whatever path you take. There are many good things you can learn from their conversation, and here are some of them: Internet is a great source of information. But be careful what you read online. Law changes from state to state, but procedures can change county by county, or even judge to judge. Even be careful who you are talking to because people can have completely different experiences than you. You are going to have to mediate if you have children and if you're litigating custody and placement issues. Mediator can be any person, but you want to choose an attorney, or retired judge, who has dealt with the subject matter because they have seen these cases many times and can give you the best option. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Dan Exner, Family Law & Divorce Lawyer — Founder of Exner Legal, LLC. Attorney Daniel A. Exner has experienced the best education Wisconsin has to offer. He received his double bachelor's degrees from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. He received his Juris doctorate from Marquette University. Attorney Exner has practiced exclusively law affecting the family from modifying the current family tree to planning for legal needs in the future. His career started at the national family law firm of Cordell & Cordell where he focused on fathers' rights. He helped opened Sterling Law Offices and practiced there as a partner until the Fall of 2018, representing people from all walks of life. He is a member of the Wisconsin Bar, Illinois Bar (inactive), and Waukesha Bar Association. He is a member of the Foley Inns of Court. Here's how Dan describes himself: I am a family law specialist. I can say that because this is all I do. And I am focused on two main practice pillars: I really stress communication. That is important to me. And I do not tell my clients what they are going to do. I'll give you my advice, I'll tell you what is a good idea or what is a bad idea, but at the end of the day, it is your case, it is your judgment, you are the one that has to live with it. Website | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Ilyssa Panitz, a Divorce Journalist and Columnist. According to Ilyssa, too many times women act on emotions, and then when faced with a barrage of questions about money, finances, marital residence, and expenses, they come up short by not having any of the answers. It is crucial, vital, and imperative that women do their homework before serving their husbands with divorce papers. Ilyssa's message for you today is: You are going to be OK. You are going to land on your feet. You are going to survive and thrive. Here are some of her recommendations: Preparation is everything. Keep your emotions in check. It is a very big transaction and you have to treat it as such. You have to know your facts. Investigate, investigate, investigate. Set a new email address, your own bank account, get your own credit card, check your vehicle for a tracking device, get off your social media, do not put anything regarding your matter on social media, get Life360 app for your children… Put a team together. Your lawyer should not be your accountant. Find 2-3 people you like and have them work together. The team you hire works for you. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Ilyssa Panitz. Ilyssa writes a daily column for Medium called: “5 Things You Need To Know to Survive and Thrive During and After a Divorce.”  Ilyssa serves as the Content/Editorial Producer for The National Association of Divorce Professionals. She is the Co-Host of “All Things Divorce” on Clubhouse, and the host of "The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz" on CRN (Cable Radio Network.) During her career, Ilyssa has worked at: CNN, MSNBC, 1010 WINS Radio in NY, WCBS-AM, New York-1 News, Westwood One, Star Magazine, Closer Magazine, Meredith Publishing and produced hundreds of Celebrity “At Home” photoshoots and sat-down with some of the biggest names in Hollywood for "exclusive" one-on-one interviews. Here's how Ilyssa describes herself: I love getting the scoop and telling people's stories, which is why I am passionate about my career and can't wait to tackle every new challenge! I am an accomplished journalist and field reporter/producer with over 24+ years of experience. My profession has allowed me to cover pivotal news and entertainment events including The September 11th attacks, The Tony Awards, The MTV Movie Awards, The 2012 Summer Olympic Games, and even travel with Hillary Clinton as part of her Senate Campaign's Listening Tour. During my time on the Hollywood beat, I have had the great honor of sitting down with many A-listers for an in-depth one-on-one discussion about their lives, the challenges they have had to overcome, and what motivates them to keep pushing forward. Every phone or in-person interview continues to provide me tremendous excitement. These precious moments are always a wonderful honor and a huge privilege. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | Twitter  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women's money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women's Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women's Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we'd love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, a clinical psychologist and the Divorce Doctor. She is the author of the book Light on the Other Side of Divorce. In this episode, Dr. Cohen shares about the trauma of divorce and healing from that trauma, and she gives some really good tips on how to process the anger. According to Dr. Elizabeth, your experience matters. And the only person you can change is you. Her message for you today is: You are immensely brave, you are immensely courageous, you are strong beyond measure. Here are some of her tips: Watch and notice the thoughts you use. And instead of saying: “My marriage is over, the relationship did not work”, consider saying: “My relationship came to its perfect conclusion. It gave me and my partner everything it was meant to, and now it is time to release it”. To process anger, allow your body to move through anger by listening to music. Do not talk smack about the other parent. You have the right to be angry, but your child should never be part of that. Your child has a biological need to attach to both parents. If you talk smack about the other parent, you kid will feel unsafe. - Dr. Cohen has provided for you a pdf file with some really good prompts on how to replace the words of anger with the words that can help you child. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Dr. Elizabeth Cohen. Elizabeth Cohen, Ph.D., is the CEO and Director of Dr. Elizabeth Cohen and Associates, a group private practice in New York City serving children, adolescents and adults. Dr. Cohen is a clinical psychologist who has over 15 years of experience specializing in the treatment of anxiety and depressive disorders. She has a particular expertise in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and has treated adults, adolescents and children with state-of-the-art CBT treatments. In addition, Dr. Cohen is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. The 14-week course teaches women how to heal, grow, and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. A related membership program provides 1:1 coaching, expert support from divorce professionals, and an engaged community of like-minded people. Dr. Cohen received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Boston University. As part of her graduate training, she treated clients at the world-renowned Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders in Boston, MA. Here’s how Dr. Cohen describes herself: I am an expert in the clinical practice of supporting people in their quests to navigate life’s challenges and thrive beyond them. My personal experience through the darkness and devastation of divorce led me to see that my expertise and skills as a PhD-level clinical psychologist could be a source of light in the darkness of divorce for others. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram Freebie for Divorce Conversations Listeners   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda introduces Rebecca Stern Kaufman, Founder of Pearl Mediation Group, LLC. Rebecca is a divorce mediator that specializes in working with families that have children with special needs, and she is also a special education advocate for those parents. According to Rebecca, whether you’re experiencing a divorce, separation, or you have a child with any kind of behavioral, developmental or educational issue, it’s a crisis, it is something you did not expect. In that moment of crisis, you’re not going to make the best decisions. You need a team of professionals, people who can help you to answer all those questions and teach you to ask the right questions. Rebecca’s message to you is: You are not alone, and we are going to build the team together that’s going to help give you all the information you need to move forward and in more empowered way. Here are some of her recommendations: Having the right team is important to provide you with right information. If you have a special needs child, you may need a special needs financial planner, or a health insurance advocate. If you can understand what’s motivating the person on the other side, that is going to help you work on these relationships better. You do not have to do what your attorney said the last three clients did, or what your friend down the street did. You have to do what works best for your family. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Rebecca Stern Kaufman, J.D., CPM, Founder of Pearl Mediation Group, LLC, which she founded in 2016. Rebecca is a graduate of New York Law School and is a certified divorce mediator and parent advocate, specializing in families of children with special learning, behavior & mental health needs. Part seasoned negotiator, part life-strategist, Rebecca has helped clients successfully navigate divorce, complex parenting plans and the special education system. She has earned a reputation as a trusted advisor and champion for those facing unexpected challenges. Rebecca strives to empower her clients with innovative solutions, and expertly crafted agreements that serve as a roadmap for life’s detours. Rebecca serves on the Board of Directors of MarbleJam Kids, a nonprofit providing support to a neurodiverse population through the creative arts. Rebecca lives in Bergen County, NJ, but works with clients from across the country through her online practice. Her crisis concierge services include divorce mediation, divorce coaching, and special education parent advocacy. Here’s how Rebecca describes herself: My goal is to empower women by providing them with their own personal crisis management team. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube | EmailDComply | Tilt Parenting  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes Jasmin Caviezel, Personal Trainer and Menstrual Cycle Coach. They talk about the four cycle phases and what happens during the phases with hormones and energy changes. Jasmin’s message for you today is: Listening to your body is always the best thing to do. Keep track your changes. Journaling is great way to start for anyone that is new to this. The My Flow App may help you track your cycle and gives you some useful tips. Here are some of Jasmin’s tips: Women in menopause still can feel those changes in their body happening. Those cycle changes are still applicable even though the hormones are declining. It is powerful to work out with your cycle. Getting to know your body and those changes you go through brings the awareness and understanding and more love for yourself. We need to take care of ourselves. We want to make sure that we prioritize ourselves and our wellbeing especially during challenging times. All the stress that come with it can impact our hormone system. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Jasmin Caviezel, the Owner of Jalistic for Menstrual Cycle Coaching, and Workouts Personal Trainer at Orange Shoe Personal Fitness. Here’s how Jasmin describes herself: I grew up in Switzerland where I worked as a holistic pharmacy technician. After graduating I decided to continue my education and moved to Madison WI to study Fitness and Recreation Management. I earned my degree from Madison College and certifications from American Council on Exercise. I combined my knowledge and created my own business called Jalistic, to educate, support and help women live with their menstrual cycle. The focus lays on improving a woman’s lifestyle by adapting nutrition, exercise and stress management in a way that empowers and brings a deep connection and compassion to a woman’s life by living in sync with their cycles. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes Kristin Belkofer, a mental health professional, and a Founder and Clinical Director of CLARA Healing Institute. They talk about the parenting aspect of the divorce process and therapeutic strategies for working with children. According to Kristin, if communication and healthy confrontation is a problem in marriage, it is going to be a problem in the coparenting relationship. Her message to you today is: This is just a chapter of not only your story but of your family’s story. And remember that kids are extremely resilient. Here are some of Kristin’s counsels: It is important for both parents to feel that they can have some space for transitioning and coping from stressful situations. Kids are resilient but they need support – the earlier, the better – even if it seems that the child handles it well. Because sometimes they don’t even know what to ask, or what to say. There are some great tools for families for better day-to-day communication, like Talking Parents, and My Family Wizard. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Klara Belkofer, Psychotherapist, and Founder and Clinical Director of CLARA Healing Institute.   Here’s how Kristin describes herself: In my role as a psychotherapist, I provide therapy services, support, and psychoeducation for women who are engaging in the divorce process. Additionally, I work with children who are moving through the divorce process, helping them to create a healthy and resilient narrative about the family story. I am trained as a child specialist for collaborative divorce, and I help parents create holistic parenting plans in the best interest of the child. I enjoy using simple, easy to understand language to help parents understand the basic tenants of brain development and neural response to life transitions for their children. I went through a divorce in 2010 when my son was 7, and I would love to help other women learn from my mistakes and make parenting decisions out of confidence and trust in themselves, rather than guilt or doubt. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram |  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes Jessica Coenen, Founder and CEO of La Belle Creative. Jess shares her story of being divorced twice, left almost homeless, without an income, and full of questions like: Who am I? And then starting over, answering those questions and building the new story for herself.    Here are some of her encouragements: This is you new life and fresh start. And that is scary as hell because you don’t know what’s around the corner.  What do you fantasize about? What are your biggest dreams?   Even if you have to go to work at Starbucks, or somewhere, be thinking about what your dreams are and you’re passionate about, and could you market that, could you sell that.  When new information enters the equation, you get to make different decisions. You can only start with where you are. We cannot forecast our future so we have to do what we can in the present with the information we have. And trust ourselves enough that when we have a new information, we are ready.  Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Jessica Coenen. Jess is a marketing executive and strategist who loves helping people and businesses, from start-ups to Fortune 100 companies, share their unique stories and build communities with their audiences. She’s known for her signature communication style and ability to distill complex data and the highly-technical world of digital marketing into dynamic approaches and tactics that create connections and get results. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

On this episode Rhonda welcomes Christine Bannister, a Courage Coach, mom of two, and a full-time Dispatch Supervisor for 911 center. Christine shares about her own experience of raising children as a single mom, building her career in emergency services, and PTSD as a result of being overloaded and not dealing with the trauma of divorce. Christine’s message for those who are going through divorce is: This is not the end of you. There is hope. As you progress, and move through the trauma, and start dealing with things, you continue to find yourself and discover who you are. Here are some of her thoughts: In all the moments when you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, and you feel like you can’t take care of yourself, stop everything you’re doing, and rest, or go for a walk, or choose a better food item that can nourish your body or your brain in a different way. Because ‘someday’ takes a really long time to get here. We all have trauma, but we just ignore it. It is really critical to know and understand that trauma does not get better, it just gets buried. Identify it, talk to someone, and keep processing. Remember that you’re not alone. What you’re going through is normal when it comes to dealing with abnormal circumstances, like divorce. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Christine Bannister. Christine is a Courage Coach and 911 Dispatch Supervisor. Here’s how describes herself: After being numb, exhausted, frightened, rundown, and just trying to survive... the worst hit and PTSD struck me down. But I was brave enough to decide that it would not dictate to me whether my career would be over and I fought to gain my life back. The journey through PTSD has been tough but has increased my capacity to love and learn and evolve. It forced me to deal with me, deal with self-care deficiencies, and deal with the pain & trauma long hidden in my heart. The healing is not done yet but what glorious good God has done through it all. Now, I am wrapping up my 26-year career in emergency services and working to launch a Coaching business while earning my degree in Crisis & Trauma Counseling from Liberty university. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram    ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes her friend Jessica Lucchesi  Moylan, health and wellness expert, a mom of three daughters and recently divorced after 25 years of marriage. Jessica shares her insight and encouragement with you, and her message for you today is: Tack your head, your heart and your gut in the alignment. According to Jessica, divorce is like a bad dream, but she’d rather be alone than lonely with somebody else. Here are some of Jessica’s suggestions for those women contemplating divorce: Start to journal – What do I want? What do I want out of life, what do I want in a relationship? It is a really personal decision. You have to choose your hard - because, it is going to be hard. There will be things you have to go through whether you stay or whether you leave. Keep your side of the street clean. And be absolutely resolute and sound in your decision. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Jessica Moylan, Wellness & fitness lover, make-up artist, leader and Arbonne consultant. Here’s how she describes herself: I come from a divorced family. I wanted to do it differently. I met my husband when I was 21. He was a little older than me, and it felt safe and secure. From the outside, compared to the instability I was living in, it looked stable. It took me 20 years, to realize that my marriage is emotionally bankrupt. I did not have a partner. I did everything on my own. I felt like I was a single mom with him as a fourth child. Finally, I decided that I’d rather be alone. Website | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda talks to Lisa Mack, an independent senior sales director, and a Cadillac driver. Lisa shares about her experience when she was going through divorce after four years of marriage, starting her business and building credit ratings. For a long time, she found comfort in her favorite Bible verse from Jeremiah 29:11, and it proved true in her life. According to Lisa, the overall thing is: You can do it. You can make it through. You really can come through on the other side even better than you could’ve even imagine. Here are some of Lisa’s suggestions for women going through divorce: It may seem like the worst thing in the world. Take a minute at a time, if you cannot do a day or an hour. Anger and grief – It is too easy to cover it up with a band aid, but you have to get through it. Sit in it, and feel it and go through it (the hurt, the emotion….) before you can move on in a healthy way for yourself and your family. Talk to a trained professional. Hire a quality attorney who is well versed in this industry, who will give you guidance, particularly if you have children. Even if you’re getting along, even if you think it’s going to be amicable, feelings change, divorce is an emotional thing, it’s one of the worst things you could ever go through and you want to make sure you are protected. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Lisa Mack, Mary Kay Independent senior sales director. She is a beauty influencer, who is empowering the lives of women daily! Here’s how describes herself: Courageous confident Christian woman on a mission to impact and influence peoples lives. To become all that God created me and help others become what God created them to be! Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this special episode Rhonda welcomes her friend Leslie who shares her own experience with divorce.  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this special episode Rhonda welcomes Kim Reuf, the owner of TRUE Tax & Accounting. Rhonda and Kim discuss Tax concerns issues, such as the extended filing date, child tax credits, the filing married versus single, how to handle an uncooperative spouse and claiming Head of household. According to Kim, the key is to be educated. Contact Information Kim Rauf Website | LinkedIn | (608) 218-6547 kim@trueconsultingllc.net ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes Stephanie Shaw, the founder of Leigh & Ollie. Stephanie is a health and wellness coach and a Certified Holistic Nutritionist and Nutrition Strategist. According to Stephanie, you need to look at the bigger picture, not just how to lose weight.  Here are some of her tips: Meal prepping – make sure that your metabolism maintains consistency throughout the day and that you are getting good carbohydrates, fats, protein. You want to make sure that you’re eating that balanced diet.   If you look at your cycle, the four different phases of your cycle, each of them will tell you when you should be making certain decisions.  Put your oxygen mask first – if you don’t take care of yourself, then you can’t take care of your children, of your finances or your career.  Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Stephanie Shaw. Stephanie Shaw is the founder of Leigh & Ollie.  She took the strategies she implemented to recover from a two-year illness and turned it into a coaching and online education business where she teaches women how to manage their hormones so they can lose weight, have more energy, and slow the aging process.   Stephanie created a protocol, The Mind Body Business Method.  The protocol supports high-performing female divorceés by helping them peel back the layers of why they can’t lose the weight – down to the DNA.  As a result, clients build lasting lifestyles of confidence, energy, and a body they deserve. Stephanie’s Master of Science is from Northeastern University. She holds a holistic nutrition certification from AFPA and an exercise and nutrition certification from Precision Nutrition. Here’s how Stephanie describes herself:  I work with executive and CEO-level women who are frustrated with the extra weight, lack of energy, and inability to focus on the task at hand – they have tried everything, and nothing works. I help them peel back the layers of this intricate puzzle, down to their DNA and show these high-performing women precisely what to do to keep the weight off. As a result, my clients build a lasting lifestyle of confidence, energy, and a body they love. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | Twitter  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes Barbara Huson. Barbara is the leading authority on women, wealth and power. Barbara shares several tips on how to change our mindset and deal with that resistance that keeps us from making that change. The ideal way to work with resistance is to explore it – to ask yourself some really deep questions and think it through: what am I afraid of; why am I afraid…. When you look at your resistance and you explore it, it is amazing what happens. It’s quite simple to rewire for wealth. It’s only three steps: recognize your negative, unhealthy, or unwanted thought; reframe it, and respond differently. It is not about the money. It’s who you have to become in order to attract, to sustain and to grow your wealth. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Barbara Huson (previously known as Barbara Stanny). She is the leading authority on women, wealth and power. As a bestselling author, teacher & wealth coach, Barbara has helped millions take charge of their finances and their lives. Here’s how Barbara describes herself: I’ve had two divorces, and both those divorces were emotionally devastating. But they were also huge turning points in my life and I had the opportunity to become a different person, a stronger woman because of it.  I grew up relying on my father (the “R” of H&R Block), then my husband, to manage my inheritance. But early in my marriage, I found out my husband was a compulsive gambler. And here’s the insane part — I continued to let him handle all our finances because that’s how scared and intimidated I was by money. That didn’t change until a devastating financial crisis became a personal wake-up call. I got tax bills for over $1m for illegal deals my ex got us in. He’d left the country. I didn’t have anywhere close to $1m. And my father wouldn’t lend me the money. I had three daughters — one just a baby, and I was not going to raise them on the street. That’s when I knew I had to get smart. And I did. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda welcomes her friend and a fellow podcaster Kimberly Warner. Kimberly shares about her experience of going through divorce after 19 years of marriage, dealing with attorneys and the importance of asking the right questions, even if your process is amicable. Here are some of Kimberly’s thoughts on the subject: It does take time, and I think you have to do something for yourself. Pick up a new hobby, or a new habit, or something that you really want to do to start healing. You have to be authentic and honest with yourself and know that you deserve more – and be strong enough to ask the questions and to say what you want. Figure out who your tribe is, the people that can support you, and stand there and hold your hand through it. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Kimberly Warner. Kimberly has a podcast called Fearlessly Authentique. She is also a boutique owner, and also owns a candle factory. Here’s how Kimberly describes herself: I’m a mom to two wonderful children, a creative designer, and a serial entrepreneur. And yes, trust me, I have fears too… sometimes daily. But I’ve learned how to overcome the barriers and channel those energies to live life on my terms. Now, I want to help you do the same. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

On this episode Rhonda introduces Nathan Astle, the founder of Relational Money LLC. Rhonda and Nathan talk about financial therapy, the goal of which is to change the way people think, feel, and behave with money. Through several examples and exercises, Nathan shares where and how financial therapy can make that change and increase the person’s wellbeing. According to Nathan, money is emotional. If financial wellness is difficult for you in the process of a divorce there are reasons behind it, and it can be a lot of different things, like your family, or your relationship with your ex-partner. Here are some of his advices: As much as possible give yourself space and allow yourself room for growth and improvement. There are tools and baby steps you can take along the way. As you are learning more about different financial choices you have, learn to, as much as you can, acknowledge and to regulate your own emotions Try to be open and to see a couple of different types of therapists if the first one is not settling right for you. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Nathan Astle. Nathan has a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and is the founder of Relational Money LLC. Here’s how he describes himself: My passion is in couples and family relationships, specifically how financial conflict impacts relationships and what therapists and financial advisors can do about it. I am the founder of Relational Money LLC where I offer trainings to financial advisors and money coaches on basic financial therapy skills. This will help them be better at their jobs, retain more clients, and improve the quality of care. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

On this episode Rhonda talks to Dera Johnsen-Tracy, an Estate Planning Attorney and a partner at Horn & Johnsen SC. Dera law firm, about the importance of Estate planning. Dera’s message for us today is: Getting started on your Estate plan, or even getting a plan in place, gives you a sense of control. You can decide, even if your divorce is not final yet, who is going to make financial decisions for you if you cannot do that for yourself; your healthcare decisions; who is going to plan your funeral… Here are some of Dera’s recommendations: Staff happens. For your own peace of mind, and for those who you leave behind, it is much better to make sure you have a plan in place. You have to make sure your divorce attorney and your estate planning attorney are working together to make sure that you will have the authority to take care of things the way that you want. Take back your power. The best way to do it is to get started, take control of your own assets, take control of your own decisions; it really does provide the peace of mind. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Dera Johnsen-Tracy, a shareholder and co-founder of Horn & Johnsen SC. Dera is a 2008 graduate of Marquette University Law School and focuses her legal practice in the areas of estate planning, probate and guardianship. Prior to completing law school, Dera gained 14 years of legal experience as a paralegal in Texas and Wisconsin. Dera’s extensive experience provided a strong and practical client-centered foundation for her legal practice. She strives to meet the needs of her clients in a personal and efficient manner. Here’s how Dera describes herself: I am a shareholder and co-founder of Horn & Johnsen SC, focusing my legal practice in the areas of estate planning, probate and adult guardianship. I am also a co-author of Wills, Trusts, and Probate: An Insider’s Guide to Estate Planning in Wisconsin.  I have been invited as a special guest on a number of radio shows such as Ginger Martin of Magic 98 and Hawke’s Radiothon for the Veterans of WJJO, and I have been invited to speak as a featured presenter at various conferences throughout Wisconsin and nationally. Further, I am a frequent contributor to Young at Heart Magazine and to the national AAII Journal, and I have taught a variety of classes through PINNACLE (State Bar of Wisconsin's Continuing Legal Education Department) and the National Business Institute (NBI). Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

On this episode Rhonda talks to Rachel O’Connell, founder and CEO of Pinnacle Parent and Divorced Family Coach about the choices that make a difference in life and parenting. Rachel’s message today for our listeners is: You will get through it; you are going to be OK, and you will probably be better than you could even imagine. Here are some of her recommendations: Accept and own the choices you have made, and you’ll be able to grow and move through them and make different choices in the future. Everything starts with the parents. We have to address what’s going on internally. We have to get in touch with our authentic self. Accountability, support and a safe space are important for you as well as for your children. Create the space in your home where your children are experiencing the safety of being able to have conversations with their parent. Heal stands for: H – honoring the space and the place you’re in E – expanding yourself A – affirming your new identity L – live Healing is important. Choose to honor your space, yourself, and deal with your trauma and your emotions. And do the same for your kids. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Rachel O’Connell, the founder and CEO of Pinnacle Parent and Divorced Family Coach. Here’s how she describes herself: I am a 40-yr-old mom of 2 teens and they're amazing! And I am passionate about helping people in all walks of life. Pinnacle Parent was birthed out of this passion. As a child of divorced parents, and having repeated the cycle of divorce with my own family, I knew there had to be a better way to thrive in divorce. I have been around divorce for 28 years through my childhood, marrying into and immediately becoming a step-parent, then divorcing, and then re-marrying and bringing a step-parent into my children's lives. It's a vicious cycle. One that I now know how to break because I have done it differently! Pinnacle Parent's proprietary system has been developed by compiling personal experience (28-years), research, and tools/methods from thought leaders in the mindset and spiritual realm. Culture has told us who we are in divorce (step-parents/co-parents/wicked step-mother, etc.) and what divorce looks like (full of hate, bitterness, pain, hurt, belittling, low self-esteem, arguing, WIIFM attitudes). This is what continues the divorce pattern repeating. The majority of families fall into the trap of the numbing effects of divorce. They just try to survive, forget about thriving. And this ultimately affects the children the most, with unseen deep wounds that just perpetuate the cycle in their adult lives. Pinnacle Parent is here to transform the landscape of divorce in the nation and the culture of divorce in your own family. My 8-week 'Foundations' course will begin you on your journey of being the change-agent for your family. And I will be right by your side through it all. After completing the 'Foundations' course, Pinnacle Parent offers 1:1 coaching to any member of the family that wants to continue with the change. Pinnacle Parent is also open for speaking engagements of all kinds. Together, we will not only make your years of divorce thriving years, but we will work to break the chains of divorce off your future generations, and the world, one family at a time. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn |  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

So you're going through a divorce or maybe you're thinking a divorce is in your future, now what? Should you hire an attorney? Will you be able to keep the house? How do you pay for a divorce? There's a lot to consider, and the last thing you want to do (even though it's hard) is to make emotional decisions about your finances that might not have your best interests in mind and if made carelessly, these decisions might negatively affect your future. So who should you contact? Cue my guest today who is the founder and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center in Wisconsin lead by certified divorce financial analyst Rhonda Noordyk! Rhonda will help you feel in control! She will make sure you know the "rules" so you can win and do what's best for YOU! Rhonda left the financial industry in 2014 to pursue her passion of helping women achieve financial justice in their divorce. She has helped thousands of women throughout the country be financially empowered through the divorce process. Rhonda also hosts a podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women. To connect with Rhonda, visit wfwcdivorce.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode Rhonda talks to Jason Jendrach, a CPA and owner of Jendrach Dobogai Lindseth inc., about the importance of having right information regarding finances, especially while going through divorce. Our guest shared some important information about debts, bad tax issues, MSA, innocent spouse, how to get copies from IRS, tax refund splitting, tax table changes and business valuation. Here are some of his recommendations: Do not be afraid to ask questions. Do not hesitate and reach out, it is to your benefit. The more planning and the more you can put in on the front end the better off things are going to be at the back end. With right data you’ll be able to make right decisions. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Jason Jendrach, CPA at Jendrach Accounting & Professional Services LLC. Jason has years of valuable experience as an IRS registered tax preparer, and he assists taxpayers and small businesses with taxes. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Email  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda talks to Paula Rauenbuehler, an International Coaching Federation Certified Associate Coach, about Emotional intelligence. Paula shared about emotional intelligence assessment, self-awareness, mindset and dealing with emotions in a stressful situation, such as divorce. Emotional intelligence assessment is behavioral in nature – it is about where are you right now, where do you want to go, and what behaviors are needed in order for you to get there. Here are some of her recommendations: Self-awareness is about finding out what is behind the emotion, what caused the reaction. Take time to see what’s really going on. Any life changing experience is emotional and stressful. When in stress, we are in fear-based mindset. Ask yourself – what else might be going on here. It is important for people to use the mindset and awareness to make some decisions and do some discerning of who are they now and who they want to be after all of this. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Paula Rauenbuehler. Paula is an International Coaching Federation Certified Associate Coach. Using her experiences as a Human Resources Director in the corporate sector along with degrees in psychology and business administration, she is uniquely prepared to assist companies in strengthening their succession plan, improve engagement and retention of top performers impacting both the top and bottom line. As a certified leadership coach, Paula recognizes the capability gaps happening across teams big and small. She's not afraid to address the elephant in the room. Working with an organization’s leaders, she creates a plan that uses neuroscience (or a brain-based approach) and the organization’s real day-to-day work. I call on interactive exercises, brainstorming and feedback to create an environment ready to set priorities, breakdown barriers, and achieve success beyond expectations. Paula guides organizations from the inside out using the KickStart Your Edge Model. Knowing that it all starts with the individual. From the individual, to teams, leaders, and the business itself, she focuses on the driving forces—The Thing Behind The Thing—that keeps organizations from achieving their best results. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn |  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda talks to Vicki Vollweiler, the Founder of College Financial Prep, about plans and strategies on saving money on the cost of college when parents are separated or divorced. According to Vicki, it is possible to save money on the cost of college, but it takes some planning and strategizing. She talks about developing a college list, merit and need based scholarships, filling financial aid forms, filling appeals due to separation and divorce, custodial parents, and student loans. Vicki recommends to start developing a college list by high school sophomore/junior year, and by the end of junior year to have a list of 30-40 schools to research. Lot of information about that can be found online, but it is also important to go to college fairs and to talk to the admissions representatives. Contact Information and Other Resources Vicki Vollweiler, Founder of College Financial Prep is a divorced mom of two children who understands the financial complexities of sending a child to college. Her work with families (primarily those who are divorced) throughout the entire financial aid process starts from strategically creating a college list through financial aid form preparation, appeals and student loan guidance which ensures that families are able to maximize college savings, minimize costs and reduce the need for student loan debt. Here’s how Vicki describes herself: It all started with my own personal story. I was a Divorce Coach who helped people attain goals, specifically with regards to their personal finances. As clients started to ask me how they were going to afford the cost of college, my own son was approaching high school and I certainly wanted the best for my son! As a divorced mom, I knew that I wanted to spend the least amount of money necessary to ensure, both, his success and happiness while allowing me to maintain my bank account and not go into debt. I know that we all want the absolute best for our children, especially, when preparing for college. The key is to be informed, strategic and detail oriented so that you can maximize savings on the cost of college. If you're unsure how to proceed, don't potentially lose thousands and thousands of dollars. College Financial Prep was created to guide families through the maze of college financial aid. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda talks to Shannon Vick, Personal Trainer and the Owner of Iron Fist Fitness, about fitness and taking care of your body in order to stay healthy and ready for the challenges throughout the stressful period of divorce. Shannon points out that working out and taking care of your body is no longer an option, it is an absolute must, just like eating, drinking water or taking a shower. His recommendations for women are: Find your reason and find out your why – Figure out what you want to do and why you want to do it, and put together a plan that will take you to your goal. Focus on your inner being, focus on doing the things that you want to improve. Take small steps. Focus on a new day, on what you can accomplish on that day – take each day at the time. Shannon gave few tips on how to stay healthy, especially in a stressful period, such as divorce: First thing in the morning - drink water, to upstart your metabolism, Take proteins to maintain your muscles, Take multivitamins to have enough energy to go through the day. Contact Information and Other Resources NASM-Certified Personal Trainer Shannon Vick developed Iron Fist Fitness, LLC in 2014 to help individuals transform from within. His philosophy is transforming the mind so you can transform the body. Shannon specializes in weight loss management, building lean muscle mass, core stability and self-defense training and was also featured on Fox 6 WakeUp. He has trained UFC Fighter Anthony Pettis, D1 basketball star from The Clemson Tigers Gabe Devoe as well as NBA prospect Jerrelle Deberry. Shannon is a Group Instructor as well, designing the "Kick Fit" program incorporating the 3 in 1 method which utilizes Interval, Cardio Kickboxing and Core Stability. In his spare time, he enjoys spending time with family, traveling, art, listening to music & watching The Packers. Shannon studies a variety of Martial Arts, training in Muay Thai, Escrima & Jiu-Jitsu. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode, I have invited Leesa Landry who is is an author,speaker and empowerment educator as well as the host of the podcast “The Gift of Divorce- Conversations to heal, teach & Inspire” where we will be talking about "How To Balance Motherhood & Business Without Guilt" Though she is recognized as an Expressive Art Therapist and Certified NeuroStrategist, she fancy’s herself a “Life After Divorce Specialist”. Through the ending of her own 10-year relationship, as well as being a child of divorce, Leesa is well aware of the distress, anxiety and heaviness that surround the breakup of a union. It was through these experiences as well as the journeys of her “soon to be” and recently divorced clients that led her to create her book The Gift of Divorce. As an empowerment educator and Life After Divorce Specialist, Leesa assists people in “getting their second wind” and helps them to creatively create a future that is bright and fulfilling. Combining her “gifts” of listening with her sense of humour and enthusiasm, Leesa is committed to helping people discover their passions, define their purpose and break through self- limiting beliefs. She believes in doing so, one will experience more joy, fulfillment and success in both their personal and professional life. Her acquired skills and interests in Expressive (Creative) Art Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic programming and branches of science (neuroscience, quantum physics and cellular biology), has led her to create a unique approach to achieve this. Her creative workshops and seminars are held throughout Canada and the United States. She resides in Richmond Hill (Toronto), Canada and is the proud mother of two children. How to connect with her: Website Link: www.thegiftofdivorce.com Twitter: @giftofdivorce Instagram: thegiftofdivorce Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/giftofdivorce --- REGISTER A FREE DIGITAL GUIDEBOOK HERE

In this episode Rhonda talks to Chidima Anusiem, a Best Selling Author and a Divorce Coach, about abusive relationships and how to find true freedom and joy. Chidima shares several tips to get through a divorce You have to know you’ve made the best decision for yourself and your family Stand up for yourself and make your own opinion about yourself Lean into your pain. You’ll find some jewels there. You don’t deserve to be abused. You’re already everything you want to be. Just know you’re originally who you are, and you’re beautiful that way - a diamond in the rough. Maybe you don’t see it right away, but diamond is formed under pressure. Make the best out of a bad situation because divorce is an opportunity for self discovery and loving yourself. Loving yourself is one of the greatest things you could do. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Chidima Anusiem, a Divorce Coach and CEO of Change Heal Inspire (C.H.I.) LLC. And a Best Selling Author. She leverages her 15 years of leadership and coaching experience to empower and guide women through their healing journey from divorce or break-up. She helps these women move past their pain, reclaim their value, and position their hearts to love and receive love again. Chidima (Author Chi) is a Nigerian American born and raised in Atlanta, GA. Despite her humble beginnings her parents taught Author Chi, “no matter how dim life can seem, with hard work, your life can exceed your wildest dreams”.  She applied this hard work as she pursued her education,  graduating with high honors from both Georgia State University with a B.S. degree in HR Policy & Development, and American Intercontinental University, where she obtained her MBA. Author Chi is known for her down-to-earth vibes, and her innate ability to connect with women using various platforms. Author Chi not only has 15 years of experience as a VP of Banking and Regional Management, but also has 10 years as CEO and Designer of the Chianu International clothing line, and another 7 years as a former Dance Instructor for Divine Faith Ministries in Jonesboro, GA. Currently, Author Chi is the Director of Operations for the W.O.W.w.w.w. Women’s Ministry with operations in Georgia, Ohio, Indiana, and North Carolina. Altogether, Author Chi has over 20 years of experience developing and coaching women to discover their true value and self-worth. She attributes her success and passion to her faith in God and the influence of His Word in her life. Although Author Chi’s life seems picture perfect, her world turned upside down after she faced a tumultuous divorce in 2015–enduring years of mental and emotional abuse. This radically shaped the way she viewed her world–in a good way. With the wisdom and lessons she gleaned from her experience, Author Chi shares the intricacies of her story with women all over the world via speaking engagements, books, life classes, vlogs, radio, and so much more. She continues to exercise her passion in the rearing of her beautiful daughter—instilling in her the positive principles needed to become successful and victorious. Today, Author Chi is the #1 Bestselling Author of “From Glass Stone” where she shares her story of divorce and the journey ‘From Pain to Power’. Author Chi specializes in helping women win in their journey of Divorce by aiding them to move past their pain and live a life without limitations! Website | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda talks to Cyrina Talbott, the Owner of The Mindset Transformation Company, about improving the mindset when it comes to false beliefs around money. Cyrina recommends to let go of false beliefs like: Man make the money, women don’t Money is available for other people, but not for me Money is evil Money is a big deal. It reflects our values, status, comfort, and our security. Don’t let these false beliefs stop you from the actions you need to take. What’s the best for me, my future, and my kids? Ask these questions and be “bitchy” about it if needed - regardless of how it affects your ex. Doing what’s right for you is your responsibility, but it’s not your responsibility how it affects other people. If our #1 priority is making everybody happy, it’s not going to be good for us. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Cyrina Talbott, a Rapid Transformational Therapist, getting to the root of issues that hold people back and helping them get their life back. Her journey from completely burning out and learning she had to heal from her own childhood trauma, lead her to be able to help others today. She's a speaker, a mom of 4 girls, and loves reading and being in the outdoors. Here’s how Cyrina describes herself: As a Business Mindset Coach, and Rapid Transformational Therapist, I'm passionate about helping business owners understand how to navigate growth. Their business is leading them to a place that is amazing but also unfamiliar. My work focuses on mindset and becoming confident in order to step into the next level. Bringing you scientifically proven techniques get your subconscious on board - so you have 100 percent of your mind working with you and for you. No longer working against you. This allows you to rapidly overcome self-doubt, sabotage, anxiety about the future and move to that next level. I had the privilege of studying in person with world renowned psychologist and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy, Marisa Peer, at the Academy of Medicine in New York. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

Rhonda Noordyk is the host of the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and CEO of the Women's Financial Wellness Center. In her work, she helps women ask tough questions so that they get the answers that they need to navigate the divorce process. This week on the Toaster, Rhonda shares her insights on financial awareness in the marriage and why it is so important to a healthy communication practice, and a healthy divorce. Her practice is just a part one resource in the process, so she shares her recommendations around building your divorce team with counseling and insurance specialists and more.Links & Notes Women's Financial Wellness CenterDivorce Conversations for Women Podcast

Rhonda Noordyk is the host of the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and CEO of the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. In her work, she helps women ask tough questions so that they get the answers that they need to navigate the divorce process. This week on the Toaster, Rhonda shares her insights on financial awareness in the marriage and why it is so important to a healthy communication practice, and a healthy divorce. Her practice is just a part one resource in the process, so she shares her recommendations around building your divorce team with counseling and insurance specialists and more. **Links & Notes** - [Women’s Financial Wellness Center](https://www.wfwcdivorce.com) - [Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/divorce-conversations-for-women/id1368648405)

In this episode Rhonda talks to Lisa Zeiderman, a Managing Partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP. They are discussing some of the less obvious financial issues you should consider when looking at your and your spouse’s financial assets in a divorce. Key takeaways from this conversations are: Staying on course through the litigation process is important. Divorce process is a marathon. Aim for the long run, and make sure to get to the end that works for you and your children. What you say to your therapist is not necessarily private during the child custody dispute. Marriage is a financial partnership, and it should be viewed as such during a divorce. Your job for the next year is to actually engage into divorce. Get all the information necessary to make the proper decision - it is crucial. Focus on taxes and tax return documents. Sometimes the biggest financial pitfalls are with the tax issues that people usually don’t consider. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Lisa Zeiderman, , a Managing Partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP., a Matrimonial Attorney, CFL, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. She regularly handles complex financial and custody divorce matters for high net worth individuals. Named a 2019 10 Best Family Law Attorney for Client Satisfaction by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys, Ms. Zeiderman is also a founding member of the American Academy of Certified Financial Litigators and a member of the panel for Attorneys for Children. In addition to authoring a well-read blog on Psychology Today, “Legal Matters: Understanding Mental Health Issues as They Apply to Divorce and Child Custody,” Ms. Zeiderman is regularly published in legal publications and quoted on issues ranging from financial empowerment to tax issues to child custody in national media. Ms. Zeiderman, a Fordham University of Law graduate, also serves on two not for profit boards that benefit women and families: Savvy Ladies, Inc., and LIFT, Legal Information for Families Today. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

On this episode Rhonda talks to Elise Buie, an Attorney/Guardian ad Litem at Elise Buie Family Law group. Elise shares her story how she overcame obstacles, so the listeners could not only just get through, but to thrive through their divorce. Elise shares advice to women going through a divorce: Don’t be afraid to “dig under the rug” and look at your finances Find an emotionally intelligent attorney who can see your potential You are so much more capable than you allow yourself to believe Elise is empowering and reassuring women that they are capable of thriving after divorce, in every single way: personally, professionally, mentally, and financially. Divorce is a story of adversity, and her strength is helping people find and call upon their strength in times of adversity to transform themselves and their lives into something better. Contact Information and Other Resources Our Guest today was Elise Buie, Founder of Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC, a Family Law Attorney, Guardian ad Litem. She’s a passionate, problem-solver who sees limitless possibilities rather than obstacles. Her specialties are: Co-Parenting, Child-Centered Divorce, Parallel Parenting, High-Conflict Dispute Resolution, Substance Abuse issues, Domestic Violence, Power and Control Issues, Family Law, Prenuptial Agreements, Child Custody, Parenting Plans, Spousal Maintenance, Co-Parent Communication Coaching, Mediation, Collaborative Law, Guardian ad Litem, Juvenile Law, Small Business including Contract Preparation, Contract Review Elise’s story: “My story has been shaped by adversity, but determined by perseverance. I grew up in New Orleans, and never imagined that I would move away -- in fact, it took a natural disaster in the form of Hurricane Katrina to force me from my hometown. After a number of unexpected events, my husband and our four children landed in Georgia with only $150 in our pockets. Things only got worse: we soon found ourselves in massive trouble with the IRS, marking the beginning of a years-long struggle out of debt for our family. For me, it was the beginning of a years- long struggle out of a dead marriage and back into the workforce so that I could put my kids through college. Eventually, I found myself remarried and moved to Seattle. I went from knowing nobody to opening and growing my family law firm into a multi-million dollar business. I’m debt-free today, and have put all of my kids through college. It is because of adversity, as much as it is because of my perseverance, that I am where I am today, and it is my greatest calling to help others find their new and independent life after periods of personal adversity, particularly divorce.” Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube | Pinterest  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode Rhonda talks to Consuela Muñoz, CEO & Founder of Own Your Confidence, about identifying your strengths, so you could see them in action a lot more often. Taking the assessment can give you a boost to your confidence, and using your strengths with purpose can turn the volume down on the self-doubt. Also, it helps you focusing on the things you’re good at, so you can practice and get great at them over time. Consuela shares some advice to women contemplating or going through a divorce: Every event in your life is an opportunity Divorce journey is a great opportunity for women to get reconnected with who they are Once you identify your strengths, you’ll see them in action a lot more often Gallop Poll Strength Finder: The Strengths Finder assessment tool helps identify the areas where you have the greatest potential for building strength. It measures recurring patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior. Reading your strengths talents in black and white is powerful at confirming what you already know about what makes you amazing. It can also counteract some negative things you may have heard about your natural talents from an ex spouse or people close to you. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Consuela Muñoz, CEO & Founder, Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, and Confidence Queen Next Door. Here’s how Consuela describes herself: “I am crazy passionate about strengths and the StrengthsFinder assessment. I have been working with it unofficially for ten years and certified since 2018. I have coached groups of women and teams via the Strengths Based Leadership Program and strengths based team building events. In the past I worked in corporate in a variety of areas, from an analytical lab, safety, and learning and development, each with their own "unspoken rules of the game". I had jobs that were a joy to get up for, and jobs that were not. I believe strongly that you should be excited to get up for work each day. My husband and I have three amazing teenagers. Our house is turning into quite the pet palace. We have two Pups, two Cockatiels, two Parakeets, and six Chickens (they have their own palace outside). We look forward to day we can return going out to the movies in a theater with all that movie popcorn. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest The Gallup Poll Strength Finder  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda talks to Marco Munoz, Co-Founder of DComply, about making your post-divorce life simpler with an amazing tool that provides a better process for working with an ex on shared parenting expenses. Marco recommends: To have a process when it comes to finances Stay out of court The biggest challenge around variable expenses is communication followed by administration. DComply App will help you with both of those challenges so you can avoid paying more for expenses than you should. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Marco Munoz, Co-Founder of DComply. Marco is a divorced father that ended his marriage in 2005. From 2011-2016, Marco and his ex-wife relitigated his divorce over “phantom expenses” that his former claimed in order to dramatically increase child support. The experience taught him that family courts are ill equipped to adjudicate these decisions. Divorced parents bring their own stories to court and judges don’t have the time or tools to sort through the financial transaction detail to make completely fact-based decisions. Marco realized that there is no reason that there shouldn’t be a digital fingerprint of two co-parents’ financial relationship. This compelled him to lean into his experience leading sales operations teams and selling financial accounting software to design DComply to be that single source of financial truth post-divorce. In addition to founding DComply with his wife Giovanna, Marco is a Regional Vice President with Oracle and has a 20+ years of experience in tech sales, sales operations and leadership. He has a BA from Boston University and his MBA from the Johnson School at Cornell University. Website | Instagram   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda talks to Seth Nelson, a Managing Partner of Nelson Koster Family Law, about knowing the questions to ask regarding parenting and financial issues women are facing during divorce. A message from Seth to women going through divorce: Breathe - as easy as it sounds, remember to breathe. Realize that this is a legal process and you’re going to get through it Live your life, not your divorce Focus on what you’re getting instead of what you’re losing PEACE stands for:         P - Parenting         E - Equitable distribution         A - Alimony         C - Child Support         E - Everything else Preparing on time and asking the right questions makes divorce process much faster. PEACE provides the subject matter of those questions. Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Seth Nelson, a Managing Partner of Nelson Koster Family Law and Mediation. Seth has been practicing law for over 20 years and have focused exclusively on Family Law for over a dozen years. He has been very involved in a legal organization that focuses on Family Law. Seth is a certified Family Law Mediator and has acted as a mediator and/or represented clients at mediation in over 1000 cases. He is also a fellow podcast host of “How to Split a Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships”. Seth Nelson is a Tampa based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. “I have been through a divorce and have a young child. As difficult as the divorce process can be, especially when there are kids involved, things will get better,” he said when asked about the divorce process. At Nelson Koster, the motto is “Helping good people through difficult times.” This is Mr. Nelson’s aim in every case, though how he works to achieve it varies greatly with each family’s unique situation. From an early age, he has always wanted to help people. After law school he found that he could do the greatest good by helping people through one of the most difficult times of their lives. Being a divorcee himself, as well as a father, he understands what you’re going through. Mr. Nelson focuses on Florida divorce law, Florida Family Law, and Florida Family Law Mediation. He earned his Juris Doctorate from the University of Florida’s College of Law. After law school, he clerked for the Honorable John C. Godbold, Senior Circuit Judge for the United States Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals. Returning home to Tampa, he then worked for other Florida law firms before establishing his own practice in South Tampa. Since 2008, he has been the sole shareholder of Nelson Koster. Mr. Nelson is a registered mediator with the Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator Association, and is currently a Member of the Executive Council for the Stann Givens Family Law Inns of Court. He also served as the Chair of the Family Law Section of the Hillsborough County Bar Association and continues to serve on its Executive Council. He has been given excellent ratings by Superlawyers and Avvo Ratings, and has been honored to receive Super Lawyer’s 2012 Rising Star award and 2014, 2015 2016, 2017 and 2018 Super Lawyer award. Website | Podcast | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

On this episode Rhonda talks to Elizabeth Ann Atkins, a best-selling author, actress, TV host and award-winning journalist. Elizabeth shares her terrible divorce story and how she endured through vicious verbal abuse, to finally forgive herself and her ex, and find peace after 16 years of conflict for the sake of their son. Elizabeth’s message to other women going through a divorce focuses on: Forgiveness Living bigger, better and bolder Find your inner Goddess Use your divorce experience to create the best version of yourself Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Elizabeth Ann Atkins, Emmy award nominated TV host, Bestselling Author and CEO of Two Sisters Writing & Publishing. Her new book is Boss Up, Goddess: Start Living Your F*ing Potential, and she has a YouTube show exploring the contents of the book that aim to empower women. She writes and publishes books and cohosts an Emmy-nominated TV show that focuses on mental health. In her career she has written more than 30 books. Elizabeth holds an Undergraduate degree in English Literature from the University of Michigan, and Master’s in Journalism from Columbia University. She was a guest on Oprah after losing 100 pounds and embarking on a super healthy lifestyle. Elizabeth is a Certified Intuitive Practitioner, leading a weekly meditation for people nationwide. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | Twitter  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

On this episode, Rhonda talks to Ashley E. Lillesand, a Managing Partner at Lillesand Law LLC, about estate planning women should do right after a divorce. Ashley shares tips on how to get through a divorce and estate planning: It gets better The guardian and money handler for the children can be, but they don’t need to be one and the same person Do not be scared of the process Estate Planning Basics:         - Writing a Will         - Naming Beneficiaries & Guardians         - Financial Power of Attorney         - Health Care Power of Attorney         - Living Will         - Trusts Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Ashley E. Lillesand, a Managing Partner at Lillesand Law LLC. She focuses her practice on Medicaid Planning, Estate & Trust Administration, Guardianship and Probate. Additionally, she receives appointments as a Guardian ad Litem in Milwaukee County for Guardianship and Probate cases. She is a member of the Milwaukee Bar Association and the State Bar of Wisconsin – Real Property, Probate and Trust Law Section, Law Office Management Section and Solo/Small Firm Section. She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree from Marquette University and her Juris Doctorate from Marquette University Law School. Prior to becoming an attorney, Ashley worked as the Guardianship Director for Easter Seals Kindcare -Corporate Guardian. She managed over 200 guardianship appointments and has extensive experience handling Medicaid eligibility and complex estates. She also has knowledge of issues surrounding Guardian of the Person responsibilities such as placement decisions and end of life issues. During her time as Guardianship Director, she served on the board of the Wisconsin Guardianship Association as Secretary and then as President, and she spoke at several WGA conferences. Ashley lives in Hartland with husband Brian, three daughters and a son. Her family is an active member of St. Charles parish and school where her children attend. Her hobbies include riding horses, triathlons and golf. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda welcomes Laura Mael, Director of Talent and People Development at Pareto’s Talent, about the DISC assessment as a tool for determining personality styles. Laura shares several tips on better communication: It will be ok. You will get through this. The most important thing is to be aware of during this time is how you are communicating. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Communication is all about energy and the amount of energy it takes to communicate is enormous. DISC stands for:         D - Dominance         I  - Influence         S - Steady         C - Correctness Understanding DISC allows you to determine your personality styles and personality styles of those around you so you could: Understand how people are different Develop confident self-awareness Modify your behavior based on the other person’s style Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Laura Mael, Director of Talent and People Development at Pareto’s Talent, a division of Lift Consulting. By working directly with CEOs and their leadership teams, Laura seeks to partner with companies to identify their talent needs, provide support through sourcing, recruiting, and assessment of candidates, to make a measurable impact on the company’s bottom line. Laura uncovered her passion for talent management and consulting when working as the Career Services Director for a local media school. While there she built a multi-channel department assisting individuals around the country in finding the media career of their dreams through her employer partnerships. Before joining Pareto’s Talent and Lift Consulting, founded her own career strategy company, Career Solutions by Laura, assisting individuals to craft their professional career stories and develop career packages to present to potential employers. Partnering with Lift Consulting has allowed her to expand services beyond individuals and add a full range of career strategy and recruitment offerings for business organizations as well. Based in Wisconsin, Laura has worked with individuals and employers around the country. Her background spans 30 years and multiple industries including banking, insurance, consumer advocacy, non-profit, marketing/PR, and business strategy. When working with clients Laura’s focus is on being a partner they can trust and rely on and who is a committed to their success as they are. Clients enjoy working with Laura because of her insights, creativity, patience and perseverance. When not working with clients, Laura enjoys time in the outdoors hiking, biking, and just about any water sport. A lifelong resident of the Madison, WI area she is an active member in multiple community organizations where she often speaks on a variety of topics including:         * Talent Strategy         * Career Development         * Planning and Goal Setting Website | Facebook | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda sits down to talk with Candy Leigh, the owner of Candy Leigh Coaching about the journey to worthy. Candy shares 3 Key Takeaways to help women find their way back from divorce:  Reclaim your self-worth Declutter your space Take action by journaling Candy also gives a bonus tip about building a “team” around you to support you on your journey! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Candy Leigh, Owner of Candy Leigh Coaching, LLC; Author, Finding Life In Between; certified: mediator, coach, trainer, change management professional. In 2019 her entire world was thrown upside down when, after a massive spinal surgery, Candy was laid off from her corporate job of 20 years. As a divorced, single mom who carried health insurance, this created a significant jolt in her life. She spent a lot of time reflecting, and decided to write a book. Candy left on a road trip with the goal of talking to others to learn their journey, but instead, it forced her to spend massive time in self-reflection and solitude. What she wrote became a journal of radical truth telling, her journey to worthy, and I believe that, if we started sharing our truths, we will find pieces of our stories within each other. The return from the trip was the reawakening of her purpose and confidence. After going back to corporate on contract, and getting laid off again, Candy finally listened to what the universe was telling her and began her own coaching business, focusing on empowering women. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!

In this episode, Rhonda sits down to talk with Divorce Recovery Specialist Wendy Sterling with The Divorce Rehab about how you can make your divorce process the most empowering experience that you can go through! Wendy had some amazing tips to share, and here are just a few:  Don't try to navigate the process alone Be aware of your thoughts & take out the judgement Division of Assets Get your pen and paper together for this one! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Wendy Sterling, a Divorce Recovery Specialist who runs & founded The Divorce Rehab. Establishing her career as a top-level advertising sales executive in the digital space, at the world’s most progressive social and lifestyle website brands (such as Who What Wear and Refinery29), Wendy Sterling had it all… successful career, two beautiful children, and a (seemingly) devoted husband. But after enduring a traumatic and unexpected divorce, Wendy’s entire world was rocked to its core. And it was in that dark moment when she decided to screw the “poor me” attitude, and allow her sass to emerge alongside her class. Leveraging decades of experience as a mentor, problem-solver and strategic thinker, Wendy followed her heart and rebooted her career. After endless training she transformed her mission into being a Divorce Recovery Specialist … with the goal of helping divorced women to put an end to their pity party and recreate post-divorce YOU 2.0. Wendy provides a tough-love approach to push her clients to rediscover their dormant mojo and inner bad ass selves.  Through her wildly successful The Divorce Rehab™ program, alongside the supportive community she’s built, Wendy not only helps countless women push through the pain of their divorce, but with her help, they become their most confident, positive, energetic and sassiest selves yet! Wendy currently lives in Sherman Oaks, CA with her two amazing boys, 13 and 10 and their dog, Max. Website | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

For women, the financial aspect of divorce is often the part that feels hardest to get a handle on. If we didn’t take an active role in the financial side of things in our marriages, it’s natural to feel a lack of confidence figuring out how to negotiate and navigate our finances during and after divorce.  This doesn’t mean we’re not capable of thriving financially. From the negotiation process to future financial decisions, our divorce can be a powerful tool that empowers us, gives us confidence, and allows us to thrive. By educating ourselves on the most important financial details of life after divorce, we can be more prepared for the process. What are the crucial steps we need to be taking in the lead up to divorce?  In this episode, I’m joined by Divorce Financial Consultant and founder of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA®. She talks about what holds women back from financial recovery after divorce and how to start your next chapter with confidence.    The reason women feel like they don’t have confidence with finances and negotiating is not that we aren’t capable. We just haven’t had the opportunity to get skills in that area. -Rhonda Noordyk   3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode    How to take care of yourself in the divorce process: There are 3 pieces to the divorce process: the financial aspect, legal aspect, and emotional aspect. For many women these are all intertwined, which is a big reason why we don’t take certain actions or make certain decisions in the lead up to the divorce. To protect yourself on each front, get a team that can help take care of each aspect.  Where to focus our investigative energy: If there’s infidelity involved in the end of our marriage, it’s so easy to focus on knowing all the details of the affair, but this doesn’t empower us. Instead of those details, keep the focus on financial stability and security. Find out if there are any financial implications of the infidelity and what it means for you and the future of your children.  Why we should be cautious when accepting a settlement:  Don’t sign a divorce settlement until you’re truly aware of what’s on the table, and are sure that it’s equitable. Even if the offer seems generous, remember your spouse is looking out for themselves. We might have trusted them financially in the marriage, but when negotiating finances in divorce, trust yourself, your instincts, and your team.   Guest Bio Rhonda Noordyk is a Divorce Financial Consultant, heart-centered business owner, and founder and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center. Her relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, voices, and the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations.  Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. Rhonda also hosts a podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women. Rhonda brings energy, transparency, and likeability to her audience. She has also appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. For more information visit https://www.wfwcdivorce.com/  For a free 30-minute consultation call with Rhonda visit https://WFWC.as.me/30minutediscoverycallrn You can also listen to her podcast Divorce Conversations for Women on all podcast platforms. 

In this episode, Rhonda sits down to talk with Family Law Attorney Russell Knight about what he thinks are the most important things to consider before filing for divorce.  He had some amazing tips and advice about filing for divorce, and some secrets to make things run smoothly. Here's a sneak peek with some of Russell's tips on what to consider when filing: Parenting time Child Support Alimony Division of Assets Get your pen and paper together for this one! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Russell Knight, a family law attorney with the Law Office of Russell D. Knight.  Russell Knight was born in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, Canada. His family moved to the United States in 1991. Russell Knight attended Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois and graduated in 2000 with a Bachelor of Science in Business Computers Systems. After two years working as a computer programmer for a Fortune 50 company, Russell Knight decided that he’d rather work with people than machines and he enrolled in the University of Illinois College of Law in Urbana, Illinois. Upon graduating from the University of Illinois College of Law in 2006, Russell Knight began working for a small general practice law firm in Chicago, Illinois. The majority of the clientele at this law firm were Spanish speaking so Russell spent his free time during this period learning Spanish. After three years of doing every imaginable hearing and pleading, in 2009, Russell opened The Law Office of Russell D. Knight. Russell Knight has always focused on Family and Divorce law. Russell’s interest in family law is proven by the hundreds of articles that Russell, personally, writes about the subject on this website. Russell is licensed to practice law in Florida and Illinois. Russell maintains a practice in both states and has a full staff of attorneys and paralegals in both Chicago, Illinois and Naples, Florida. Russell Knight enjoys learning new languages, running, and cooking in his spare time. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn Email Russell: russell@rdklegal.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, Beth sits down to talk with Rhonda about navigating business and entrepreneurship while contemplating or going through divorce.  She had a lot of great advice for our listeners, but a few items that she mentioned are: Just take that step! Build your team (and surround yourself with them) Rely on your intention Have a plan Prepare to BE INSPIRED! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Beth Crowell, owner and founder of The Hippie Banker. Here is a bit about Beth, in her own words: "I have been through a divorce -- and have been able to remain friends with my ex-husband. It was a very healthy divorce and am so grateful for that. After coming out of my own divorce, it has always broken my heart hearing my friends (and sometimes acquaintances) share with me their unhappiness in their own marriages, but feeling stuck and unable to make a change. In fact, when I first left my job to become a life coach, I had intended to focus on helping women through divorce, but divine guidance led me down another path! However, being involved with the WFWC allows me to bring it back in, to which I am very grateful. Business ownership is a way that women can gain control over their finances, and feel empowered to take control over their destinies. Being reliant on a spouse's income can be a very strong hook that exacerbates the fear associated with leaving a marriage. With my background as a commercial lender, consultant for the Small Business Development Center at UW-Eau Claire, instructor for the Women's Business Center at Western Dairyland, and my deep spiritual base, I can help guide women through not only the technical aspects of starting a business, but also through the fears and limiting beliefs that often hold us back from pursuing what we know deep down inside is right for us.   Website | Facebook | LinkedIn Email Rob: beth@thehippiebanker.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, Rob shares some great tips regarding mortgages and debt during divorce, and what to think about during the process.  Some highlights: Get a good idea of what will transpire with your joint debt Refinance or sell your home so that your name is off the debt (if your ex-spouse is keeping the home) Get a copy of your credit reports (freecreditreport.com is a good place to start) Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Mortgage Lender Rob Miller with ProVisor.  As a Senior Mortgage Officer at ProVisor, Rob has been serving the Madison area for over 18 years. He has focused his attention on providing his customers with an easy, painless loan process. Rob strives to not only complete your loan but make sure you are educated and informed throughout the entire loan process. One of his firm beliefs is handling each customer independently of the next, providing knowledge, accountability and “World Class Service”. Since buying a home is one of the most important decisions of a customer’s life, Rob and his staff want to make sure it is as smooth and enjoyable as possible. Website | Facebook  Email Rob: rob@provisor.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, James shares seven tips to getting through divorce, from finances to wellness. Some highlights: Make it about you Understand your rights Put your wellness first Find your support group Let go of the guilt Get organized Reach out Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Family Attorney James Quigley of Beermann Law in Chicago, IL.  It was a competitive spirit and desire to make an impact in others lives that led James Quigley to pursue a career within law. After putting himself through college and law school, James worked tirelessly building his reputation within the industry and founding his own successful law practice before merging Quigley and Associates, PC with Beermann LLP in 2005. Now with over 27 years of experience, James set himself apart with his experience coupled with his focus on honesty and objectivity. He is extremely sensitive to each client's situation, especially the emotion and pain that typically accompanies a divorce. This objectivity has allowed James to successfully deliver on clients' requests and needs, leading him to become an extremely sought after attorney in the state of Illinois.  Website | Facebook  Email James: jmquigley@beermannlaw.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, Michael shares some great ways to make co-parenting easy, including how you can accomplish this through the Fayr app. Fayr stands for: Family Advocacy is Your Responsibility.  Some highlights: It is IMPORTANT to stay organized throughout the divorce process; Fayr makes it easy to see who owes what with expenses, and helps balance things out;  You are able to "check in" with a date and time stamp at important locations - driven by GPS; You can use Fayr alone, or with your co-parent; Fayr will NEVER sell your user data - they understand the information that you share may be private Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Michael Daniels, CEO of Fayr. Fayr was born out of two desires: to become a better co-parent, and to make the experience of co-parenting better. After his separation, Michael found it a constant challenge to be the best, most present father he could be. The time he wanted to spend focused on his children was instead taken up by tedious documentation, scheduling and preparing for court.   Why wasn't there an alternative to this time consuming, anxiety producing way co-parents were forced interact? Enter Fayr.  Our app encompasses the whole range of co-parents needs - financial, documentation, geo pinpointing, scheduling, communication - for the entire time you're co-parenting. What makes us different?  At Fayr, it's not just about efficiency and ease (though we love those).  We also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. FAYR.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Email Michael: michael@fayr.com   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, Christopher and Nicholas gives us some insider tips regarding the importance of refinancing your auto loan, even if you think you got a good rate.  They had some great tips, and here are just a few of them: Be sure to do your research when shopping for a car; Through their website, you can have a soft pull of your credit to see how you can qualify for a lower rate; Try and pre-approve before you even walk into the dealership, so you know what rate you qualify for Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Christopher Coleman & Nicholas Hinrichsen, Co-owners of WithClutch.com in Tempe AZ. We believe in financial fairness and equality. America is our community and we are here to bring all of us together again. Everyone deserves a chance.  WithClutch  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, Freddie gives us some tips regarding staying safe physically and mentally during quarantine.  Make sure you keep a good support system around you who you can communicate with during this time; Try not to disrupt your routine; Establish tools to protect your email, social media, and other apps you may use; Those aren't all of the tools that Freddie shared with me during this interview, give it a listen and be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Freddie Harris, Owner-Chief Instructor at Badger Krav Maga in Madison, WI. Badger Krav Maga offers self-defense training and security consultation to civilian, corporate & law enforcement clients.Through education and training members will gain an increased awareness of common threats and how to defend against them. The training approach of Badger Krav Maga embodies three core concepts: mind, body and law. Members will gain a defensive mindset to refuse being a victim. They will understand and develop the body mechanics necessary for effective self-defense. And they will possess a basic comprehension of governing self-defense statutes that support them. Badger Krav Maga | Facebook  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, Jeanne gives us some tips to prepare your credit during & after divorce Pull your credit reports from all three credit bureaus via annualcreditreport.com  Look at each report & highlight things that were joint accounts and close them Find any mistakes or charges you do not recognize Have access to credit to build it back up (Jeanne gives us a few tools to do this) Open a secure credit card or secure loan  Find out your FICO Score at myficoscore.com    Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Jeanne Kelly Jeanne Kelly is a nationally recognized voice in credit consulting. In addition to serving her clients in their efforts to improve their credit scores, Jeanne has been sought out by real estate professionals, mortgage analysts and journalists for her thoughts and advice on how to best manage your credit portfolio in an ever-changing financial landscape. TKG Inc | Facebook Email Jeanne: Jeannekelly@kgroupconsulting.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, Andy walks us through his story of divorce, and offers us 3 things that he has learned: Pick & choose your battles Find a common enemy or a common ally Don't communicate over the phone - use email or text   Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Andy Weins Experienced Sergeant First Class with a demonstrated history of working in the military industry. Skilled in Sales, Management, Training, Subcontracting, and Resiliency. Strong community and social services professional with a Bachelor of Science (B.S.) focused in Business and Management from Cardinal Stritch University.  Green Up Solutions | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, we discuss trusting your intuition. We will share some tips on how you can hear your intuition. Your intuition doesn't stop when we fail or screw up or "do it wrong" or life isn't going where we thought it should - No shame! No blame! Your intuition is lovingly leading you- even when you aren't loving yourself. It loves your kids and you and will show you the way - this is a journey of forgiving yourself. You learned this behavior - we all did. So be easier on yourself and you'll be able to hear that still, small voice easier. Tell yourself what you need to hear right now.   Rhonda Noordyk: Welcome to this episode of the Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. You know there's one common thread facing women that are contemplating divorce, and it's that we don't know what we don't know, right? And so, I want to make sure to help you ask the tough questions so that you get the answers that you need. Rhonda Noordyk: In today's episode, we are going to dive into the topic of INTUITION, which is something that I think women really need to learn how to tap into and trust a little bit. So I'm so excited about our topic for today. This episode is sponsored by Courageous Contemplation. It is my online course for helping women navigate through the divorce process, so be sure to check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. So, I am here today with Cyrina and I want to just thank you so much for joining us. Cyrina Talbott: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to share this. Rhonda Noordyk: So, I know that people can certainly reach out to you. We're going to include all of your contact information and all the good things about you. But I just want to get started in our conversation today about intuition. And let's just start by saying, if a woman came to you and said, "Gosh, you know I really feel like I need to make a decision or something just doesn't feel right or whatever." Like let's just talk about, if you could tell them one thing, right, what would that one thing be? Cyrina Talbott: I think the thing that's the hardest is to trust yourself. You know? And as I was thinking about this too... when you're going through divorce, that's really hard. That's a really big ask because maybe you're looking at this whole situation that you're finding yourself in and going, "okay. Well, I don't know how to trust myself. I made this decision and it didn't work out." Or a lot of times when anything is falling apart, whether it's a business or marriage or our health or whatever it is, we're kind of, life is showing us areas that do need to change. Cyrina Talbott: And even if your partner is hugely at fault, there may be some things you're seeing like, "Oh, okay, I did that." You know where you're responsible. And in light of that, still being able to trust yourself even if you're feeling bad or even if you're realizing there's things or patterns that are needing to change or whatever. Cyrina Talbott: But it's so important to trust your intuition and trust yourself because there are no rules. I mean, there are no rules about divorce, whether you should do this with your finances or that with your in-laws or that with your kids. Like there are no rules. Everybody's situation is so different and so unique that you're really the one that can decide. Cyrina Talbott: And so, you can take all the advice from everybody, but at the end of the day, it's you and to really, my encouragement is to trust that and be like, "Yeah, I'm, I'm not going to defer this to all the people I think are smarter than me. This is me, my family, my kids, my life." And just feel a little bit like, "Yeah, I can do this." Even if everything's falling apart, that's okay. Rhonda Noordyk: Well, and I think to your point, I think a lot of times in situations where women have spent years, sometimes decades squelching their intuition, I think it takes time for us to gain the confidence like, "Oh my gosh, I was right." Or, "Man, I should have listened to this gut feeling that I had several years ago, sometimes decades ago." Rhonda Noordyk: And so, I think there's this aspect of getting reacquainted with our intuition, right? And maybe testing it in small ways to help build our confidence so that then when we do feel like, "You know what, gosh, that's right." I mean, it's interesting because I think guys do such a better job at this. I mean, many of my male colleagues, if you were to ask them what's your key for business? It's like, "I trust my gut. If I get a bad sense from somebody, I'm not working with them." Rhonda Noordyk: So like for women, if you're interviewing attorneys and you're like, "I don't know. I didn't really get a good vibe but everybody says they're really great so I'm going to work with them." No, your gut told you in the very beginning there was something not right. Cyrina Talbott: Exactly. Like exactly how you just processed it. Is like, I don't know. Own that. That's your intuition talking to you. And yeah, I think guys do it better because they're encouraged to and we're supposed to be nice. I don't want to hurt their feelings. Well, hurt their feelings. When I talk to women, they're like, "I don't want to be..." Use a swear word but like a brat. I'm like actually, "Do that more. That's a really good thing to do." Cyrina Talbott: And like you said, guys are fine with it, but it's where we want to be nice and we don't want to hurt feelings. We don't want to make waves and it's real and it's practice. I help my clients practice because it's really like learning a different language. You have this part of you that, like you said, maybe you've been denying forever. Maybe you've been trying to be nice and make everybody else happy, and it's learning this part of you and how it communicates is exactly that. You just don't feel right and you don't have to explain it to anyone. And you don't have to be nice if you don't feel right. Cyrina Talbott: And you can do it in a polite way, you can just be like, "Well, I'm going to look and see what my other options are." It's simple, but trust that and do that. Rhonda Noordyk: For sure. Right. Well, and I think with all, when we look at the divorce process, a lot of the women, if you're listening today and you're like, "Oh my gosh, I'm still in that contemplation stage. I haven't officially made a decision or maybe a year in the midst of it, you're like, "Oh my gosh, I should have listened to my intuition in the beginning because now I'm in a spot where I'm overwhelmed or whatever." Rhonda Noordyk: I think just being aware that A, we need to tap into that and B not to feel bad if we haven't tapped into it in the past because each situation's going to be different. So it's like, well, we can't change the fact that you should have listened to your intuition 20 years ago, but what can we do about that now? Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: You know. Cyrina Talbott: And that's the other thing I really want to share about your intuition is it isn't a jerk. It's like how you would respond to your best friend. So a lot of times we think our intuition is like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you did that. You're such an idiot." And our intuition isn't doing that. Or isn't going well, I told you so. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it. It's always kind. Cyrina Talbott: And how would you respond to your best friend? So let's pretend roles are reversed. It's your best friend coming to you. Maybe they've done something that's legit dumb. Are you going to be like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you did that again." Like just get away. You know you're going to encourage them. You're going to look for the positive side of it, the thing they did right. Or you're just going to be like, "Oh my gosh," and give him a hug. That's what our intuition does. Cyrina Talbott: And it's just something that we don't talk about, we don't practice and we don't do and we have to learn. So yes, absolutely you can practice. I love that you said practice with little things because sometimes we bring this like, "Should I move across the country or stay here intuition?" Cyrina Talbott: And it's like gambling or rolling the dice and we're like, "Oh, I think I heard a yes." And then it doesn't work out and we say, "Oh, I'm horrible at that. I'll never do it again." And it's like, "No, just listen." This voice is kind, and chill, and always with you, and leading you and you can just start tuning in and listening because it's there. Cyrina Talbott: And I really believe women are way better once they start to do this again or practice, I think women do have all those feelings. We're just quick to ignore. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah. Or we second guess it like, I mean if we look at Mel Robbins in her 5 Second Rule, which I'm sure most people have heard of and if not, they'll have to check it out as it's awesome, right? But in that 5 seconds, we have five seconds to say, "Okay, am I going to trust this or not?" And then we either talk ourselves and we just do it or we talk ourselves out of it. Cyrina Talbott: So, like what I do with people is I work with their subconscious when I'm doing rapid transformational therapy with people and it's like all these answers are here. And when you're doing that quick decision like that, when you just get a hit, some people call it, or you get a nudge, or you're being led to do something, right. It's your intuition. And if you stay in that and just do it, that's going to be a good thing. Instead of getting up in your conscious mind and being logical and talking yourself out of it and how much is this going to cost and blah, blah, blah. Cyrina Talbott: You know, all those things that she's saying don't do that. Just stick with that part of you that knows and is leading you right where you need to be. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, for sure. Well, so we've teed up, just some really great candid conversation around trusting your intuition. Let's talk about some tips. So if you're listening today, like yes, you can hear your intuition, but what are some tips on how to do that? Cyrina Talbott: Yeah, absolutely. So number one is practice. Don't expect to just be a genius at this to start. And practice with smaller things, but really just start tuning into this thing that's with you all the time throughout your day in little ways where you have maybe an inclination to call somebody or look something up or go in a certain direction. Practice that and have it be where it's not life or death and it's not like I'm good at this or bad at this. Have it be practice. Cyrina Talbott: Expect that you're not going to be fabulous at it to start if you have no experience with it. The other thing is our intuition talks to us in different ways. Some people journal, they journal all the time, everything and they get a lot of downloads that way. Some people it's if they're meditating or walking, like if you're taking a bath or talking to a friend, praying, but it's also, it's just that pause. Cyrina Talbott: It's anything we're doing where we're getting our mind to slow down a little bit, like breathing or not just letting that conversation in your mind go and go and go and go, whatever you do to slow that down or stop it. Some people dance, listen to music, whatever that is. Cyrina Talbott: Exercising for sure to be able to pause and listen, whatever that looks like for you. And you'll also know in the past when you just knew, there will be times when you just knew and you'll know, did you feel that in your stomach? Did you feel it in your heart? Did you have the whole body knowing? Was it while you were journaling where you just had clarity about something? Do you need to talk to yourself out loud? Like three things. Cyrina Talbott: And the other thing is really knowing that you can hear. There's nobody on the planet that's broken where they can't hear from their intuition. But I think sometimes we think we are. Like, "Oh yeah, I tried that and it didn't work. That works for other people. That's woo woo." But understand you can and as you're in this mess of either being in the middle of divorce or all the pain and agony at initiating it, right? If you're contemplating it, know that your intuition is absolutely going to lead you and guide you in the mess part too. Cyrina Talbott: So, you don't have to be perfectly chilled out, calm, meditating to hear from this, it's going to lead you in those times. And I think leads us more in those times when we are making hard decisions or going through a hard shift in our lives. A lot of times the shift is like, even though it seems like such a bad thing, it ends up being such a good thing. So much growth and learning and healing comes in those times, you can absolutely hear in the middle of a mess. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, absolutely. And I think women really use the divorce journey as an opportunity of self-discovery and that reconnection with their intuition and reconnection with things that have brought them joy in the past or things that they enjoyed doing or whatever. Right? Cyrina Talbott: Absolutely. Rhonda Noordyk: And so, I think this is a perfect time for women to be thinking about this kind of stuff. And again, just really relying on those kinds of gut feelings that, hey, something just doesn't feel right or this feels off or whatever. Because the divorce process in and of itself is very impersonal I guess. I mean, you're going through a process where the attorneys, this is pretty much what they do all day long. Some do a better job of others then it's not just a case or a file that it's actually somebody's life. Cyrina Talbott: Whole life. Rhonda Noordyk: Like their whole life. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah, wow. Rhonda Noordyk: And so, they do this a lot and certainly, I mean, they aren't thinking about necessarily like, "Hey, what is your intuition telling you?" I mean, you might just be in those meetings where something feels off and you maybe have to ask questions or step away or whatever. And so, having the awareness of this now, even before you start the process can be really, really valuable because you are going to have to tap into it. Rhonda Noordyk: And I also think, when you can have your intuition in combination with a good team of people that can come alongside and support you through this process, it's going to be really, really valuable for you because divorce often is going to be the most difficult thing that you've gone through or will go through. Most of the women that I talk to say, I would never want my worst enemy to have to go through this. It was awful, terrible, horrible. Right? Rhonda Noordyk: Now knowing that, how do we make it a little less terrible, horrible, right? Like how can we help women come out of it so they are stronger, and empowered, and have more clarity, and aren't beating themselves up for all the things that they should have done before, during, or after the marriage? Rhonda Noordyk: So, I think the intuition part is a really important part and you have tapped into some great tips on that. Let's talk about that it doesn't have to stop when we feel like we've done something wrong or that life isn't going where we thought it should go. Let's talk a little bit about that. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. I think sometimes there's this idea, and I even as you're saying, we're using, listen to your intuition. But if you're in a meeting, just say, "I have some questions about this." This isn't something you have to be, "Well, my intuition said," because people are just going to dismiss you, totally. They're going to think you're nuts. Cyrina Talbott: So yeah, when we are in a place where we're looking at the mistakes we made or like I said, you're in this place of having it be a mess. Start listening. So, here's what I wanted to share about the voice of your intuition is kind. And it is there for your best interest. It isn't there to make you pay or learn your lessons or punish you or like I said, like told you so. It's there to encourage you in this time. Cyrina Talbott: Look, you're a human, we all make mistakes. There is no time in your life where you write yourself off and you put this big failure on you. But during divorce is what you want to do. You just want to say, "well, I screwed up. I'm a failure." Maybe you're not feeling like you deserve a good thing. Maybe you're watching how this is affecting your family or your kids and you're like, "Oh my gosh." And you're just beating yourself up. Cyrina Talbott: So, it's an invitation to let yourself off the hook. It's an invitation to be kind to yourself and it's an invitation to allow love into this area and know that you absolutely can hear this voice and that it's going to lead you. That it's not beating you up. And so you have your days, right? Like you said, the divorce lawyer, this is just their nine to five job and then they go home at night. Rhonda Noordyk: Yep. Cyrina Talbott: So your divorce lawyer and other people in your life that you're dealing with this, it isn't personal and this isn't what, it's just their job and it's not their whole life in their heart and everything, but it is yours. And so, the other thing about your intuition is it knows, it's there with you when you're making dinner, when the kids need help with their schoolwork, when you're going to bed alone. Cyrina Talbott: There's this humanity there that I think we can write ourselves off as a failure or that I don't, I should do this by myself, like you're saying, and not allow that support, right? You need a team. You need to walk through this with actual humans on the outside, but allow the support within yourself that's there, allow it in. Start listening. No, I want to tell you it's there first of all. Cyrina Talbott: And then allow it to tell you what you need to say, the conversations that you need to have. Allow it to encourage you, to lead you and not beat yourself up so much. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, absolutely. And one of the things I was thinking of too, Cyrina was, for my clients as I'm working with them, if I had somebody that came to me and said, "Hey Rhonda, I'm just really feeling like whatever," we could pick any kind of as a situation, right? Like this just feels a little bit off to me. I'm not exactly sure how to handle it. I feel like I need to maybe go a different direction with somebody on my team, like whatever. Rhonda Noordyk: I am open to having those conversations and if somebody said, "Hey, my intuition is really telling me that maybe I need to switch attorneys, for example." I'm like, okay, well let's explore that. Right? I will never tell them to do something that is opposite of their intuition. I honor that right now. We will deal with whatever needs to get dealt with to either make that transition or make that shift or whatever. But I'm not afraid to have those conversations and to honor that that's maybe the direction that they want to go with part of the divorce process or whatever it is, right? Rhonda Noordyk: Because there's going to be a lot of decisions along the way that I feel like when you have at least one person on your team that's going to understand that piece of it, I can help facilitate the conversation around those decisions. Right? Cyrina Talbott: I like that. It's so valuable and it's so honoring to the human that has to have this affect their whole life. Yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah. Cyrina Talbott: Absolutely. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, for sure. Because it's a big decision and I'm not in every single conversation. I'm certainly in a lot of them, right? But I'm helping facilitate and guide and make the right introductions and put the right people in front of them and help them navigate through all the pieces. I mean, my business is really set up to be the one-stop-shop. So, no matter where they're at in the process, I can help them navigate through finding the right people, asking the right questions, getting the clarity that they need or whatever. Rhonda Noordyk: But having that two-way communication with your team is going to be really important because we can't read your mind. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. Yeah. It's so important. And like I said before, some people are like, it's life or death or do or die. And it can just be like, "Oh, I have a question. I was wondering about that, or could we look at this a different way?" So let's say your intuition, this was the other thing I wanted to talk about is a lot of times we get a nudge or a knowing or a gut feeling from our intuition and then we stop. And it's like a no. And I really encourage people to stay in it long enough to be like, "Okay, what's the next step?" Cyrina Talbott: Sit with that long enough. If it's saying don't do that or question that, or you just have a knowing like, "Okay, don't go in that direction, sit there a while, and then listen, and then you're going to get more information. I think a lot of times people kind of do it half-baked where they get something and then they just run with it or stop it or whatever. Sit in it and keep listening because you're going to get more guidance, more knowledge. Cyrina Talbott: And like you said, bring it to your team, flash it out. See where it goes. And it's okay if you screw it up here too, like that's not a big deal. You're practicing and you're learning and you're never going to get to the point where you stop hearing, can't hear anymore and screw it all up and make irreversible damage. There's always going to be a fix or a U-turn or like a plan B, you know, it's fine. Rhonda Noordyk: Right, right. Well, and I think the other thing too is a lot of times women we process based on the information that we have. And so, sometimes it, like you said, it is a matter of, "Okay, perhaps I need more information. Maybe I need to ask more questions to be able to get some clarity on what direction to go." And so, I had a lady I was talking to today on the phone and she's like, "Rhonda, my husband filed, I don't really have access to money. I've moved to a different state. I'm going to have to file in the state that we're living in. I don't feel like I have access to money. I don't think I can get a credit card, blah, blah, blah." Rhonda Noordyk: And I said, "Okay, what are the facts around that? What's your credit score?" "Well, I don't really know." "Okay. Well, that might be a good place for us to start." Right? And then she's like, "Okay. Well, I don't know that I could retain an attorney." "Well, okay. Have we had some conversations around that?" I think sometimes we don't explore things the way that we can because like in this particular case, this relationship has been abusive for five or six years. Rhonda Noordyk: So, she's not used to hearing that stuff or hearing... I'm like, "Let's just get the facts, right? Like, if you don't know what your credit score is and you don't know if indeed you've been denied for a credit card and your bank might not be able to help you, but have we had those conversations? Right? So, then you go out, you look at the banks, you look at the credit unions and maybe you walk in and you're like, "Okay, I just got a really good sense about this one. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like this group might be the one to be able to help me." And then you explore it from there. Right? Rhonda Noordyk: So, there's just so many good examples of how this can help guide and direct. But I do feel like trust your intuition, trust your gut feeling, and then also get some additional facts around it too. Cyrina Talbott: Absolutely. And I think our intuition will lead us to that as well. But with the example that you just shared, you have somebody with that negative. You've just got this negative, maybe someone making them feel stupid or incompetent and it's just running. And a lot of times our voice lines up with that and then we run the program even when the person is nowhere near us, we're running that. Cyrina Talbott: And I help people with those subconscious programming, but it's imparting, a kind voice. So it's especially necessary for that person. And right, there's so much shame around this and how could I ever do this? Or how could I have not seen or why did it take so long? Whatever we're doing to beat ourselves up, if that's running, this is an invitation to start running a better program. Cyrina Talbott: Start saying, a big part of rapid transformational therapy is saying, "I am enough." Like just the way you are. I am enough, even though I'm going through this divorce, I'm enough. I'm valuable just as I am. But then understanding that's how your intuition is going to talk to you too. It's going to be kind and lead you to things and encourage you to trust yourself, encourage you to ask questions, encourage you to learn. Cyrina Talbott: You are not stupid; you are not incompetent. That's the first thing to stop doing is even if that's been in your head for 10 years, do your best to be aware of that and catch yourself when you're saying that and switch it to something better. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, for sure. Well, I have another thought related to the journaling aspect of listening to your intuition, but I want to take a quick break and then we will come back and we'll talk about that and wrap up our conversation about trusting your intuition. And then I want you to share a client success story and your favorite quote. So we will be right back. Cyrina Talbott: Thank you. Rhonda Noordyk: All right, so I am so excited that you are participating in the Divorce Conversations for Women podcast. If you haven't had a chance to check out https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/courses. You want to make sure that you check out our Courageous Contemplation course. This is designed specifically for women that are in that, should I stay or should I go? And it's going to provide you with information about the divorce process, clarity around things that you should be thinking about and how to design the best possible scenario for your divorce process. Rhonda Noordyk: All right. So let's get back at it here. So I was thinking about the journaling part. And anytime I have an opportunity to share this nugget I love to because, and I can't take full credit for it, but I love to share it. And that is one of my dear friends who was with me when I first started my business had gone through divorce. And it was an ugly, nasty divorce and she at the time was working in the Dove Care industry, right? Rhonda Noordyk: So here she is dealing with her own stuff, really having to come in and be present in dealing with people that have just lost a loved one. And she is one of the most positive people I have ever met. And I said, "How do you do that? Tell me a little bit about your strategy." And she goes, "Rhonda, you know what, it's actually kind of simple." Rhonda Noordyk: But she said, "I have two different journals. I have a black one and I have a very colorful one." And she said, "The black one, anytime I was having some negative thoughts or beating myself up and I knew I was going to be going in to meet with a family, I would take that journal out and just get it all out. And then I would move over to the colored one and I would start writing the positive stuff in there." Rhonda Noordyk: And she said, "And pretty soon I was writing less in the black one and more in the positive one." And eventually, then she either destroyed the black one, whatever. But just that tangible like okay, separating the negative thoughts and the positive ones allowed her to be able to be the best that she could be in a situation where she had to be. Rhonda Noordyk: When somebody has lost a loved one, for you to come in and say, "Yeah, I'm going through divorce and it's really yucky and messy," That's not fair to them, right? And it's not fair to you. So deal with that stuff. Find a strategy that works for you. But that one, as far as the journaling, if you're somebody who likes to write stuff down, that could be a really great strategy for you. Cyrina Talbott: I love it. Yeah. And another thing that people do is they'll write down like what's the lie and what's the truth. If you're just hearing in your head all the time, "I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid," write that down and then it's in a different journal that's colorful. I totally love that. Rhonda Noordyk: Right? Cyrina Talbott: But write down some things you've done that are intelligent. There's going to be a list. And that's the truth. You're valuable. You are intelligent, you are good. And the other thing is beating yourself up even though it is like what is the most comment? What is happening in this time? You can't help it, right? When you're going through this, but it's not helpful. Cyrina Talbott: So, the more you can find different tricks, tools, whatever works for you, like happy music or whatever it is, the more you can stop that and realize, "Okay, that's not real. That's not who I really am." It's of course in this situation, of course, that's what you're going to feel like doing. But the more you can detach in little ways, in any way that you can, absolutely. The better. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I just posted on Facebook right before the weekend and said, "Hey, for those of you that have gone through divorce or are going through divorce, music can be super powerful. So what's your go-to song? Right? Whether it was like some of them were like... One lady was like, "I listen to musicals." The other folks were like, "I'm listening to Lizzo and Kesha and you know... Or I'm listening to harder music or I'm listening to jazz. Rhonda Noordyk: Like it was everybody kind of there... I don't think there were any duplicates. And I had probably like 60 some comments on that one post. Right? All across the board. And so, they found that song that helped their go-to song and then probably after the divorce was over they were like, "I don't really want to listen to that song ever again." But finding those outlets that can help you gain some strength, some support, and some clarity as you're going through this process. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah, absolutely. Rhonda Noordyk: So, one last thing that I wanted to wrap up here. So we've talked about tips on how to be able to hear your intuition. The fact that you know, practice, right? There's no shame, there's no blame, just start walking and listening to your gut. And then the last one is remembering that it's leading you, lovingly leading you through life and to be a little more aware when we hear that still small voice to honor it. Rhonda Noordyk: And so, I love that. So as we wrap up our time together, I always like to end with two key things. One is a client success story. And then the last thing is your favorite quote. And I've had a chance to read a little bit through your client success story and I feel like it's really going to resonate with the women that are listening. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. And as I work with people that's just, it's a huge thing to shift that beating yourself up. But yeah, I had a client in an abusive relationship so she came to me because she wanted, she actually was like, "I want help in my marriage," and it was emotionally abusive. And so, a little bit about my backstory is my dad was physically and emotionally abusive, and in other ways to me, I have two little brothers and a little sister. Cyrina Talbott: And my mom was so brave, and she left him when I was six. And so, and I know she had so much guilt about my brothers and growing up without a dad and all that stuff. But I know as an adult now that was the best thing she ever did for us. So, if that encourages you at all. But, so what she would say is she would say in a heartbeat, the emotional abuse was worse than the physical abuse. Cyrina Talbott: So, this client was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Her husband was cheating on her and she came to me to fix herself so she could win him back. In my head, I was like, "Heck no." But so she was mad at this woman who "stole her husband" and was wanting that relation to stop so they could just go back to normal. And when I worked with her, she was able to start to value herself and to understand like this wasn't about some other woman "taking her husband" like what the heck was her husband doing with that other woman? He was dishonoring her, he was hurting the family, he was causing the problems. Cyrina Talbott: And so, it was that shift once she could own her value more to say, "Oh, okay. This is not a competition between me and that other person. This is like, okay, what's my husband doing that's hurting our family? And to understand she didn't deserve to be treated that way. Like that conversation, she didn't deserve to have that on the table. She deserved to have a guy who loved her and that wasn't even an option or a possibility. Cyrina Talbott: And so, she started working and understand we don't have to earn other people's love. It's really about loving ourself. And I think that's really important when you're going through divorce because you're losing whatever that looked like or felt like. Even if it's unhealthy, there's that feeling that you're losing something. So it's really important to love yourself and build yourself up and understand that's the only person that really matters anyway. Even people that are in healthy relationships, it's your love for yourself that's important. Cyrina Talbott: And I also asked her what she would do, she had two daughters who were little and what she would tell their daughter if they came to her and they said, you know, in 20 years, "Hey mom, my husband's cheating on me. Can you help me be better to win him back?" like what would she say? Cyrina Talbott: And she would never encourage them to be with a man like that. And I think it's good when we flip the script and you look at your kids and you say, "Would I encourage them to be with a man like this or to beat themselves up if they were going through this?" and that helped her switch how she was thinking about it too. We just need to be nicer to ourselves guys. Yeah, so mean to ourselves in her head. Cyrina Talbott: But that's kind of the set. That's kind of the, if you don't consciously work to overcome it, that's our set point. And then I told her too, like the way we are allowing ourselves to be in a relationship or be treated or the way we treat ourselves, we're showing our kids. So the more we can value ourselves, honor ourselves, love ourselves, even though that's a hard ask, the more we can do that in little ways and get better at it. Our kids are watching and learning. Cyrina Talbott: And I know, like I said, for me, watching my mom be brave enough to take us out of that situation with my dad, even though that put her in a... you know, she wasn't financially stable, but we were emotionally healthy and safe. And we watched her and then we were able to also understand, "Okay, even if you're in a relationship like that, you never have to stay. You never have to be treated like that." And that's the truth. So anyway, it ended up that she left and it was messy, of course, and hard. Cyrina Talbott: And I just wanted to say, she was brave, but she was also encouraging herself. She was running that program of I am valuable, I am enough, I am worthy. And she had more confidence to move forward. And we also found, when I work with people, that a lot of times there's patterns from your past. It didn't start with this guy. It started when she was younger and with her mother being very controlling and demanding. And so as you're going through this and you're maybe finding old patterns, that's an invitation to grow and shift and change too. And like you said, get that team on board to help you. Don't beat yourself up about that, because as they're coming up, they're going to heal and you're going to change them, and you're going to go into the next relationship if that happens after all the divorce settles and everything, you're not going to repeat this. You're going to be healthy or you're going to have a good relationship that you deserve. But it starts with you loving yourself. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, absolutely. I love that. And I just want to encourage that if you're listening today that you say, "Hey, you know what? I am in an emotionally abusive relationship, but he's never hit me." Right? There's no, but, okay? Cyrina Talbott: There's no but. Rhonda Noordyk: Let's just be clear. Cyrina Talbott: Absolutely, it's powerful. I mean, sticks and stones is BS. Words do hurt. Rhonda Noordyk: Oh, for sure. I mean, right? But I think that there's always this like, yeah, but isn't as bad. And I've been in several meetings where the attorneys, we've been doing attorney interviews and they ask a few questions and they say, "Based on what you told me, this is actually the definition of domestic violence." And they're like, "Really?" Cyrina Talbott: Like, they're shocked. Rhonda Noordyk: Shocked. Cyrina Talbott: And this is my invitation to that person too. If this were your daughter, and she was like, "My boyfriend or my husband, he tells me I'm a piece of garbage all the time. He calls me fat and ugly and stupid, but he's not hitting me." Would you be like, "Okay sweetie, stay." Rhonda Noordyk: Just stay. No. Cyrina Talbott: No, so yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: Get the heck out, right? Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. So honor yourself that way. Rhonda Noordyk: So this is a powerful message. I have goosebumps about this because I think we could have a lot of conversation around this part of it and the confidence that comes around it. And when you don't have the confidence, you borrow the other people's that can help you say, "Hey listen, this is not okay, this is not healthy, this is not normal. And it is okay for you to leave." Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. And there's no shame at getting however you got yourself, however, we find ourselves in this relationship, there's no shame in it. There are so common. If you sat a group of women, you had 20 women or a hundred women, there's a huge majority that would raise their hand and they've been in these relationships, whether they were married or dating or whatever. Like there's no shame here. And yeah, there are people who want to help, who've been through it. There's no judgment. Yeah, absolutely. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, totally. Cyrina Talbott: And you don't deserve it. Yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah, totally. Such a powerful message. So let's end with your favorite quote, right? We'll just put a bow on this thing. Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. And it's just short and sweet. Einstein said, "We can't solve our problem with the same thinking we use to create them." And for me, this is very powerful because I work with people's subconscious versus their conscious. And the key is to switch those negative, beating yourself up, that shame, that thinking is not going to help you get out of this. Being kind to yourself is. Cyrina Talbott: And a lot of times it feels counterintuitive. It feels like maybe we deserve to be thinking of all the things we've done wrong or making lists of our faults or whatever in this situation. But really being kind to yourself, letting yourself off the hook, being gentle, treating yourself how you would a good friend who is going through this, switching how you're thinking, detaching, like you said, with that journaling is so powerful. Cyrina Talbott: Those are just thoughts; those are just negative thoughts. That's not your identity. It's not who you are. There's this other colorful journal or the truth that you're good. The things you've done right. All that stuff. Yeah. So switching how you're thinking is really powerful. Rhonda Noordyk: Wow. Heavy. Right? But so good. Cyrina Talbott: Yes. Rhonda Noordyk: So many good things about this conversation. And so, I just want to thank you for taking time to just have a really candid, casual conversation because I know that the women that are listening, I know that those of you who are listening really found a nugget in here. Rhonda Noordyk: And so, I want to make sure that you leave this conversation knowing that you can reach out. The contact information for Cyrina will be in our notes. You can also reach out to the Women's Financial Wellness Center. Go to our website, womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. You can chat with us there, you can leave a request to set up a time to chat. But let's just commit, okay, that we're not going to walk through this by ourselves. How about that? Just commit today, I'm not going to walk through this by myself, by yourself. We're not going to let anybody that we know walk through this by themselves. Rhonda Noordyk: And we've got a great team of people that are here to support you as you're going through this process, contemplating this process in the midst of it and need some guidance or direction, right? But you have to reach out. Okay? So, thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If there was something that really stood out to you, a huge takeaway, an aha moment, man, we'd love to hear from you. Rhonda Noordyk: So, thank you again for your time and I am looking forward to continuing this conversation. Cyrina Talbott: Thank you so much. And I also have a free gift. Rhonda Noordyk: Yes. Cyrina Talbott: It's a confidence thing that you can find on my website that'll be in the show notes. It's cyrinatalbott.com and so that you can listen to that to actually start this positive, running these thoughts running in your mind that are going to be- Rhonda Noordyk: Awesome. Cyrina Talbott: ... helping you instead of beating you up more yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: Awesome. Thank you so much for that generous offer. I appreciate that.   ________________________________________ Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Cyrina Talbott Cyrina Talbott is a Rapid Transformational Therapist, getting to the root of issues that hold people back and helping them get their life back. Her journey from completely burning out and learning she had to heal from her own childhood trauma, lead her to be able to help others today. She's a speaker, a mom of 4 girls, and loves reading and being in the outdoors. Cyrina Talbott Rapid Transformational Therapist | Life Back Therapy cyrinat@gmail.com | (715) 570-3450 Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube Special Offer: Free Transformational Confidence Recording  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In this episode, we discuss helping women transition through a divorce and ways to support them through this using the 3C approach of communication, communing, and community.   Rhonda Noordyk:            This is the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk, Founder and CEO of the Women's Financial Wellness Center. I am passionate about educating and empowering women who are going through divorce. I want to help you go from chaos to clarity. The purpose of this podcast is to provide women with educational tips, tools and resources as it relates to the divorce process. Be sure to check out our website at www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. Rhonda Noordyk:            Alright, well, thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. And I am really excited to be able to have a conversation today with my friend Sheryl Brown. She is the CEO of Females and Finance. And we met several years ago when I was in the industry as an advisor and have just stayed in touch, right? And so, I want to thank you for joining us today. Sherly Brown:                  Absolutely. I'm excited to have this talk today. Rhonda Noordyk:            Me too. Me too. So, as I was thinking about where to kind of take this conversation today, I think what would be most helpful, and I know that's something that you, up until recent maybe have kind of kept close to the vest, but a little bit about your story, because I know that when you shared it with me a couple of years ago, I remember being on the phone pretty surprised at how challenging your situation was. Yeah, let's start with that. Share with us a little bit about your story. Sherly Brown:                  Yeah. So here I am, gosh, 30 years into working in financial services. And I remember always being a good wife. I was somebody who, of course, I made a very good living. I was entrusting my ex-husband to pay the bills and we had a lifestyle. And I remember, he had gotten really upset with me that I was traveling a lot, I needed to quit my job. And so I did. And it was a job I actually enjoyed quite a bit. But I quit my job to be home more. I also have grandchildren, and I just thought I needed to be more present. Sherly Brown:                  And so, when the last paycheck hit, it was May 30 of 2017, so I'm not employed anymore. That means I'm 100% dependent on him. And I remember, I was at a Michaels Arts and Crafts store with my two grandsons, they were fighting over a doughnut and they're twins. It's funny how you remember things, the details. I remember it was a sour cream crunch doughnut that I had bought at the grocery store and there was one left and they were twins. I remember reaching down and breaking it in half and saying, "Here, you each have a half, we're good." Sherly Brown:                  And the phone rang and my husband called to say, "I don't want to be married to you anymore." I remembered in that moment, Rhonda, I literally said, "You know, I'm with the children right now. I'm going to need to give you a call back, I need to get them home and I want to talk about ..." I'm trying to stay professional and together and not alarm my littles, because they're always looking at you. And any mother listening knows that all children, their feelings fester off of their moms. They will look at their moms and if mom stays calm, they stay calm. Sherly Brown:                  And it's amazing how even in a moment of angst, there's a lot of times where we're able to reach a level of calm in order to keep children, grandchildren, everything happy and safe for them. And inside, I'm like, what? And so I did, I took them home, I told my son, I have to see you later. I didn't even say anything to my son at home. And I waited. And it was hours and hours. He wasn't there. And it was hours. And I thought, you call me and you say this and you don't come home. Sherly Brown:                  Well, what had ended up happening was he, in hindsight, a couple days later, I don't know why it took me 48 hours to put the lightbulb on. I should check the bank accounts, like he's not here, what are we doing? Yeah, he had emptied every bank account. He had cash boarded every credit card. He had got on a plane and had left. So he wasn't leaving me, he left. I think that term is really interesting to Rhonda, I remember sharing this with you. I said, they make it always sound so kind. No, someone left me. No, it was so much harder than that. And when I went through realizing that I had no money, I had nothing, I had no job, I had no husband. And so, I went into a full panic and depression, a little bit of one I would say. And I think rightfully so, I think you're just sort of, oh my gosh, what happens now? Sherly Brown:                  And my son will tell you that I was sitting at the house once I realized all the money had been gone and what he had done because every account you go to you, you have like this conversation in your head, you say, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm wrong. Like you're still being that wife. You're still thinking no, no, no, no, no, this isn't happening to me. And then after I realized everything, I went down to the kitchen and I was sitting there. I immediately started acting like a crazy woman and I was unplugging the fridge, unplugging the TV, because I didn't know how I was going to pay the electric bill. I had no money, what was I going to do? Sherly Brown:                  And so, I kind of went into hiding for about a week because I think the other part of it and you working in financial services will appreciate this, how do you tell colleagues? How do you tell three years, three decades of colleagues that this happened to me because I became that proverbial woman that people talk about. And it was me. And so, I didn't tell anybody for a very long time because I was so embarrassed to say, this happened to me. What was I going to do? And I have to also say, my father is pretty wealthy, he does well for himself. I could have very easily gone to my dad and said, I need you to bail me out. But I realized had I done that, my children would have expected me to do it for them and I don't know if I would have ever been in a position to do that. And I also thought it was really important for my children to see me pick myself up and move on, what was going to happen from here. Sherly Brown:                  And you know what, you learn a lot of lessons from this, and people such as yourself, you were one of the people that I had found after it had happened and said, hey, that's me, I'm that girl now, I'm that lady. It was pretty awful. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah. Yeah. I think, unfortunately, with that, and I don't think that it's, it is what it is I guess. And that is, we as women I think feel that sense of, what could I have done differently. All of that, right? And you're like, what could you have done differently? He took it before you even knew he was going to be taking it. So there wasn't really, knowing what you know, there isn't a whole lot that you really could have done because he had access to the money. There's only so much that we can do when you have somebody who's going to do things that aren't right or take advantage of people or whatever. There's only so much that we can do, right? Sherly Brown:                  That's exactly right. And there's a lot of shame. I dove into Brene Brown books to understand shame better because I couldn't believe how the conversation I was having with myself, I would never have with a client. I would never have with a colleague such as yourself. But yet, for me, it was okay to sit there and say, you're so dumb. Why would you do this? All these things I said and I have to tell you, it was people such as yourself who are experts in the space who were like, you got to stop. You can't do this to yourself. Sherly Brown:                  And once I made the decision that I wasn't going to be a victim anymore, but I want to say this to anybody listening, it is 100% okay to grieve, to be angry, to eat a box of Oreos, whatever you got to do. Rhonda Noordyk:            Totally. Sherly Brown:                  But when your pity party is done, you need to have that friend, that confidant, that expert, that Rhonda that says, okay, now we're done with that, and now we pick up. Because if you don't, I feel like it would have robbed me of getting a lot of just the "ahh" out early on. I think it was really helpful to kind of go through that process. It definitely helps when I talk to people who've gone through divorce now. I understand. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, absolutely. So how long did it take for the divorce to be final? Sherly Brown:                  Yeah, so you make concessions there too. So generally what happens is you can have a consensual divorce where you're both saying, yes, we want to get divorced and you go in, you get this and you get that and you sign the papers and you go to a judge. That can be as quick as 90 days. If you decide to get an attorney and they get an attorney and they go and wrestle it out, I'm sure I could take forever. Sherly Brown:                  So I made the decision, after speaking to my dad and speaking to a few other people that I was going to do a consensual, but meant for when he did contact me and I was able to sit down, I decided, okay, here's what we're going to do. I will take this amount of debt and you take that. We made a total arrangement of okay, this is, it was amicable. And he signed his part and I signed my part. And I have to tell you, ladies, sometimes they don't show up to divorce court. And in my instance, I got divorced by myself. And I have to tell you, I was so angry about that. Out of all the things that I was angry about, I wasn't angry that he took the money, I wasn't angry that I got left. I was angry that you couldn't show up at the end to just close the chapter. Sherly Brown:                  And the judge that was there that day, she could see it in my face that I was so upset. And she says, "Don't you worry, you're getting divorced today." And I was like, "Thank you." Because I needed somebody to understand and she got it. Sherly Brown:                  So you're not always going to get a great maybe a divorce person there. But I went with my best friend and I have to tell you that there are things that people don't talk about. And I looked them up and they don't really talk about the actual process of going into the courtroom. And that day when you do a consensual divorce, you're there with many other couples, some are sitting on opposite sides, some are actually sitting together. But when you're the only one and this may possibly happen to somebody listening, the hardest thing for me was, when you think about the actual act of it, it's quite easy. They call your name, you get up, you walk over to this lectern, you agree with them that you are who you are and your date of birth and all this stuff. Sherly Brown:                  You have these people looking at you, and the whole time it is a very natural feeling to feel judged. I remember standing up there by myself, and you can't really in my situation, see my friends. I had to stand there by myself. And I think it was probably the biggest, my girlfriend, her best friend, my best friend's name is also Sheryl. She said to me, "It was the one time that I saw you stand up there by yourself. And you literally had to just be courageous. And you had to stand there." She's like, "I knew you were bristling, and I knew you were ..." And I'm a professional speaker, Rhonda, I have no problem getting in front of a group of people. But man, when it's for this and the reason and you're by yourself, I think I was most angry in that moment. Rhonda Noordyk:            It's interesting. And you're right, nobody really does talk about those details. It's kind of like labor. Everybody kind of like, you know, you gear up to it and you're like, why didn't anybody told me about this part? But one thing that you said that I just want to make sure that we clarify is each state's different as far as how long you have to wait from the time that you file, so like in Wisconsin, so 120 days, Missouri, 90. So just make sure that you check in your state how many days that, what's the soonest that you could get divorced. Rhonda Noordyk:            And like you said, there are always those unexpected things that are going to happen along the way. And I always say, okay, how can we plan proactively for the things we know are going to happen also knowing that there are going to be, there's going to be at least one, okay, at least one surprise where you're like, did that really just happen? And there probably will be more than one. Sherly Brown:                  Oh yeah. Rhonda Noordyk:            Women go into these situations really still, and I think this is a real strength of women, but in the divorce process, it can be a challenge, and that is I'm going to believe the best in the person. I'm going to believe that he's going to show up at the end. I'm going to believe that he would put the money back into the account. We bring that sense of belief in the goodness of people. And unfortunately, I think that, yes, it's a great skill and it's a great attribute and one of the reasons why I love working with women because we are pretty positive and really want to believe the best in people. Rhonda Noordyk:            But in situations like yours, you also have to say, I want to believe the best in this person. However, I need to plan in case they don't show up at the end. I need to make sure I've got my friend on board. We still have to do the planning because I think we go in with blinders on not taking the opportunity to plan ahead if we just believe the best in people, and it really becomes now a gap and a sense of vulnerability. Sherly Brown:                  And it's much like, you likened it to labor. And for those who don't have children, weight loss, let's pick another one that's pretty common. When you lose weight, you think you're going to look like the person in the magazine or the advertisement or even the television. And you don't. I can tell you that as somebody, I remember, I lost 117 pounds, and I remember thinking after not recently, this was about 10 years ago, I don't look like the person on TV. I was so disappointed in the end product because you know what, nobody wants to talk about that. Nobody wants to talk about that. They want to talk about, was I healthy? Absolutely. Was I more athletic? All the things were positive. But they don't talk about aesthetics. Sherly Brown:                  And just like divorce, even in all the stuff that I didn't research on, no one talked to me about walking into that courtroom and what it was going to feel like and how alone and how you stand and you're feeling like people, you literally have a judge and you feel like you have people judging you. What I will tell you is this, that if you can get yourself to the point where you get there and you can stand there and try to stand there not in anger, I think that was the thing that probably was my salvation because I wasn't angry until after it was done, like what, he didn't show up. What I was I felt a sense of peace that I had made the right choice for me or for my family. Sherly Brown:                  My children are all grown at this point. It's interesting because, during that moment, you are kind of feeling very vulnerable, like, all these people, they all know that I'm not good or I'm not ... And it's amazing, goes back to that talk that you have with yourself and how you speak so sharply and harshly to your own person, the person you spend the most time with the world. I would never have said the things to my friends, to you, to others that I said to myself. So really practice that part. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, absolutely. Sherly Brown:                  I will tell you too real quick, I want to say that, one of the things that when I got divorced, and you're welcome to ask me questions about it, won't offend me at all, but one of the things that I agreed to was therapy. I went to a therapist every Friday for 52 weeks. Rain, shine, no matter what, I went. And I'm on the road a lot. Probably a third of the year I'm on the road. So I was face timing from hotel rooms because that was probably the single most important part of my mental of getting better. I learned a lot about myself in that year, and it's the reason why I'm able to talk about it so openly today and not be so, I think I told you, I'm better, not bitter. And I was pretty bitter. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah. And rightfully so. Right. Right. So I've often said, everybody that's going through divorce needs to have a core team of people. A therapist, a financial expert, and an attorney. And you can dial in the level of support, right? And if you feel like you need to go once a week, then you go once a week. If you feel like you need to go once a month, you go once a month. But whatever that is, it's the sliding scale. And I think, you know what, making that commitment out of the gate I think is really, really valuable. You don't realize how much stuff you're going to have to work through until you start going through it. Rhonda Noordyk:            For the people that are listening, the average divorces a year, that's 52 weeks, could be sooner, could be a little bit longer. But you're like, one year of our life is a small blip in the grand scheme of things. And if you were to commit to saying, hey, listen, I'm going to commit to whatever the amount is of therapy and support so that I can become a better person, so I can navigate through this, and ultimately, so I can leave the bitterness behind and move forward. I think that's fantastic. And clearly, it has shown up in your life the results of that because you're in a very different spot in a really relatively short period of time, right? Sherly Brown:                  Yes. Oh, I credit it 100%, I tell people. And you know, I have to tell you too, part of what I learned about going through therapy was that I learned how to have a grown-up argument. That sounds a little crazy but I learned how to have grown up arguments. I learned how to speak to myself more kindly. I also learned how to actually like myself, which I think there's a lot of people who don't do that. And in your 52 weeks, maybe 112 weeks, it maybe five weeks, everybody's journey is different. But I committed to that. And I will tell you, it was not inexpensive in the sense that every session cost me $80 so I got 11, 12 out of my first, I got 12 covered by my insurance, and then everyone after that was $80. And some people might go, and that might be more expensive for some people and I get it. Sherly Brown:                  Go less, go to a church, go someplace, ask around where you could go. Sometimes it might be, and I want to tell you this too, you can have the best friends on the planet, they are not the best therapist for you. You need somebody who's 100% objective because I was part of the problem too. I'm not going to sit here and say he was, I learned about things that I did that I was like, I didn't think of it like that, oh, gosh. It was worth it to me and now today I have better conversations with my children. I have better conversations with myself, with my family. I have learned boundaries. Oh, I had no boundaries before. I literally just before we were talking, printing out the 2020 holiday calendar for my, those are my boundaries. I'm not working on those days. It really will teach you a lot. But there's a lot of unknown things too that I found out going through this that shocked me. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah. Totally, totally. Well, I want to take just a really quick break. This has been so fun. And I want to then come back and I want to share with our listeners where you're at now. And you've kind of touched on this, but if there were three things, kind of bullet point list of things that you would share with women that may be contemplating divorce, maybe find themselves papers being served now, maybe they're the ones who are going to be serving, let's just come back to that in just a moment. Rhonda Noordyk:            I just want to thank everybody for listening to the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast. If you are considering, contemplating or in the midst of divorce, be sure to check out our website, womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. In particular, we have an online course called Courageous Contemplation. So if you find yourself contemplating divorce and want to make sure that you are knowing all the questions to ask and preparing ahead of time, make sure that you check that out. Rhonda Noordyk:            All right, so, let's dive back in here. So share with us where you're at now. It's a couple of years later and you have- Sherly Brown:                  It is. Rhonda Noordyk:            ... lots of things have happened. Sherly Brown:                  So, part of what happened was I, my children sat me down a couple of years ago and they were like, "Mom, we think you're so amazing that we just can't keep you to ourselves, we want to share you with the world." I said to my son, I go, "Are you sick of inviting me to dinner?" He says, "We kind of are. So, you need to go date." He goes, "Even if all you do is just get out there and you get to talk to people in that way." Sherly Brown:                  But my kids and I know I told you this, they like to do fun things. And so, they decided to gamify it a little bit, and they said, I'm too picky. So, each of the children put me on three different dating apps and got to pick three men for me to go on dates with. And I went on nine colossally awful dates. It was terrible, terrible, terrible. But, it was interesting because you do get to get out and talk to people, and I highly encourage you to, within reason go out with people who definitely because part of their concern was for me, finding the exact same person to go out with that was my spouse, my ex-spouse. Sherly Brown:                  And so, I was deleting the apps and just to show you how incredibly random life truly is, I was deleting the apps, I got to the last one, there were these pictures of the gentleman across the top, and I thought, gosh, he's really an attractive man. And I clicked on it and I thought, it's going to tell him I did that. And sure enough, the next morning, there was a message from Darryl and it says, "I think you're too pretty to go out with me, but in case I'm wrong and you're normal," it was the and you're normal, what signified to me, you've been on colossally awful dates too. And so we did. And I tell everybody, he's my best online purchase. We got married December of 2019. He's great. Sherly Brown:                  It's interesting because he too was in a very long marriage and I was, and both of us had reasons that fell apart. In the end, we both have a lot of respect for one another that I didn't have in my first relationship. And respect comes in forms of things like, the little things of noticing that bringing the mail and the stuff that just seemed really, he and I both had gone through things like the five love languages and really knowing who we are because I got to tell you, I'm almost 50 years old Rhonda, I'm really not changing. I'm just not going to change. Sherly Brown:                  And so, what I found out that was really important to me were things like words of affirmation. Good job, Sheryl, I need to hear that. And physical touch, hold my hand, sit next to me at the movies or on the couch. That was one of the things I learned in therapy. If these are the things that are important to me, you have to have an absolute zero tolerance, no budging away from them. And so, we found out that our love languages matched. Not always do we get along. I tell everybody, do I love him every day? Yes. Do I get along with him every day? Absolutely not. Sherly Brown:                  But yeah, you just have to, we both had gone through therapy, we both had gone through a lot of things. And my kids adore him. In fact, my son always says, "We kind of like him sometimes more than you." I'm like, "What? I made you. You wouldn't be here." I also, when I was sort of at the bottom of the barrel when I got divorced, I decided to start this company. I was working with a lot of women who worked in financial services. I felt like there just wasn't really good representation at events at speaking, subject matter experts in articles, podcasts, the whole nine. Sherly Brown:                  And so, Female and Finance was birthed from a spot of I'm already at the bottom, we're going to work our way to the top. So it's 100% grassroots movement. 18 months afterward, we went from zero members to 2500 members, you're a member of. And it's a vetting process, actually vet every woman who comes through the program. Much like you do as well with the clients that you're working with and the people who come through, it makes a big difference. One of the things that I've learned in therapy was, going back to that I'm almost 50 and probably not going to change, I'm not an association, I'm a business. It's my party and I get to do what I want. So, people have said to me, they're like, you don't take everybody. No, I don't. I learned that. No, I don't. Sherly Brown:                  So, you really can come and take a really bad thing that happens and given the right formula of self-care and asking for help, asking people to help you be strong when you can't, people loving you when you're not your most lovable self. I had to ask everybody, be patient with me. But then also putting yourself into things that make you feel good. Pick up the projects of the stuff that you had to put on hold for somebody else. I didn't have to do that anymore. And so, today, I'm not happy every day but I'm happy most days, and I'm happy most of that whole day. Sherly Brown:                  I think that's the other thing too, is life is short. If you're in a situation where you're contemplating a divorce, there's a reason why you are. And the other thing too, talking about boundaries. Right after I got divorced, I announced it on Facebook because if you don't, people start, I asked very specifically to people, please do not mediate my divorce. I don't need you to go talk to him and talk to, I don't want that. You can be his friend, you could be my friend, but do not mediate our divorce. Sherly Brown:                  And sure enough, you're going to get those ones who think they're the people, and I got this box in the mail and it was, this is the part that got me, it was a box in the mail with books about how I could be a better wife. And I remember being so angry. And I was talking to my friend Jenny, who lives in Chicago, my other friend, Anne, who's in Boston, and they said, "You take that box, and you package it and you send it right back." And actually, Anne was like, "Print that page that said, do not mediate my divorce from your Facebook and put that in the box." And I did. I did. I did. Rhonda Noordyk:            Good for you. Sherly Brown:                  It was. It was very scary. For anybody also listening who your tendency is to be a nurturer, and you want to take care of people and not rock the boat and let's not, you know who you are listening, you know, that was probably one the most empowering moments of my life because I packaged it up and I sent it back and said, thank you but no thank you. Can you imagine, but that happened. Rhonda Noordyk:            No. And you know what, there's always those things. Everybody wants to try. And again, they're all coming from a position of wanting to help but it's like, listen, at this point, he has left. Sherly Brown:                  There have been decisions made and there have been actions and there need to be consequences. I think that I think that when you're the person on the outside because I used to be that person, I was married and I would see people get divorced and go, ooh, you know. It is really, really interesting to be on the other side of it because now when people say, when you say, oh, I'm divorced, they're, oh, I'm sorry. I'm not. Don't feel bad for me. And my daughter, my youngest daughter has autism. And she's fairly high functioning. And she dislikes the fact that when she has to disclose she has autism, people go, ooh. I thought the best thing she ever said one time was, oh, you don't need to feel sorry for me, I have a 139 IQ, I'm fine. She wasn't trying to be smart. She was being very ... I think that's exactly what it is. It's like don't feel sorry for people but people don't know what to say. Right, Rhonda? They don't know what to say. Rhonda Noordyk:            No, they don't. They don't. Sherly Brown:                  They don't. So I forgive them for that, and I think anybody listening, you're just going to have to forgive them too because they do mean well. They don't like change because everything else worked a certain way and they knew how to work through that flow and that flex, and now they don't and they're feeling angst too, what do we say to so and so, what do we say to so and so. If you don't know, read some books, go online, check it out, lots of therapists have written on this. But for the person who's going through it and they are saying things that don't feel, there's a lot of grace that needs to come with that too. You just have to know that they don't know how to go through your divorce either just like you don't. Rhonda Noordyk:            Well, and I remember, I believe it was Sharon Sandberg when she lost her husband. And she said the one thing that she really valued, and that she would advise people to say is, how are you today? How are you today? Knowing that it's going to change every day. And just asking a question versus trying to save the situation or provide unsolicited advice. And again, I tell my clients, I say, okay, everybody that has gone through divorce wants to share their experience. However, you've got to be willing and able to not listen to all the noise because what's going to happen is, you're going to have 30, 50, 100 different opinions and now you're going to be more confused on what direction to go. And each situation is different. Sherly Brown:                  You could interject, even if it was a divorce, we could say, that's having a baby, that's breastfeeding a baby. That is whether you decide to homeschool or put your child in school. That is whether you decide to let your child drive a car at 16 or 17 or 18. It doesn't matter because everybody's going to want to. And so for me, mailing the box back meant I'm not accepting, I've asked you not to mediate and you did. You did not respect my boundary. It felt strangely empowering. It shouldn't feel that way but it did. I just felt so good. So everybody's going to have their box. And you're going to have the ones who judge you for like it's your fault that you did something. Sherly Brown:                  And to that, I think part of what shook out from this was we definitely had the, his friends and my friends, our friends, our friends was the hardest part to navigate in the divorce because I'm living my life, I just recently had to say something to somebody, like, I'm living my life and I'm happy, please quit going back and telling my ex-husband from two-plus years ago what's going on in my life. And so I made a decision Friday night when my kids were here to anybody who was friends with my ex-husband, I literally had to delete them from Facebook. And they're people are like, I don't think there's anything there. But my personal life, I want to share it with people like you, Rhonda, who are my friend, and you're not going to pick up the phone and call my ex-husband. Rhonda Noordyk:            Well, right. And it's part of your moving forward. Sherly Brown:                  I had to make a choice. Rhonda Noordyk:            And it's part of your moving forward too. Let's be real, he left. So at that point, it's time for you to be able to heal and move on. So I love the, I guess for the women that are listening, what's that box that you need to mail back? Whether it's a text message, an email, Facebook, or something physical that you get. It is okay for us to set those boundaries and enforce the boundaries, enforce the boundaries. Because I think, you know what, if you would have kept the box, you would have felt frustrated. Sherly Brown:                  It would have signaled it was okay to not respect my boundary. Rhonda Noordyk:            That's right. And even if you didn't keep the books, let's say you just donated them, there's still that aspect of like, it was okay, right? Sherly Brown:                  Yeah. Rhonda Noordyk:            So, I think that was a very bold and important action to just say, hey, I'm serious. This is not okay. So I love that. Sherly Brown:                  And I wasn't angry. Anybody listening, you have to separate yourself from it and you have to, and that's what I did. I learned that because I went to therapy, and she warned me, people aren't going to know how to navigate this. You need to be prepared for that. I was so fortunate to have Kay in my life during that time and meeting with me every Friday, and as I moved into my new relationship with Darryl. She was helping me navigate things with him that I didn't even think about. It's not perfect. I still have things that come up from the past. When you're connected to somebody for a quarter of a century, you have some baggage, some habits. But he's also understanding that and helps me sort of go through the journey of that. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah. Well, and one of the things that we're going to be launching in the new year is an initiative called Simple Support. And it's actually going to be an initiative for friends, colleagues, people that know somebody who's going through a divorce, and what is it that you can do to support them. And every single week, we're going to give them a simple thing that they can do, say or do to support their friend. And I'm excited about that because to your point, women, men even, they don't know what to say. And so then they say things that are stupid. You're like, why did you just say that? Like, no, this is not helping the situation, right? Rhonda Noordyk:            But I also think too, if the average divorce is a year, that's a long time for somebody to feel like okay, well, I've heard the story a few times, I don't really know what to say, I still don't know what to say. I mean, it's the fifth time I've heard this story because the friend needs to vent but I still don't know what to say to it. And so, if we can empower the people around the person that's going through divorce, I think it's going to be really helpful. Rhonda Noordyk:            And to your point as well, I think, again, you've got to have the professionals in that inner circle to be your core team of people. And then yeah, your friends are also part of the journey but you need them to be in the role that it makes the most sense. They're not an attorney, they're not a financial expert related to divorce, they're not a therapist. So have those people and then have this great support network in addition to that that can listen and support you. Sherly Brown:                  I love that. I wish I had had that because real quick, I know one of the things that, I had experts, financial experts who said to me, who were CFPs, who had been insurance and investments like yourself, etc., had said, right after I got, was looking at my assets, they said, sell your house. You don't need to be a single woman living in a four-bedroom house. FYI, those who do not know me, I am not a DIY-er. I don't have fun going to Home Depot. I don't go to Lowe's. I don't go to Menards. Rhonda Noordyk:            Which is why on your social media you're like who staged this. Sherly Brown:                  Yeah. I do have an entire thing, if you go to #whostagedthis, I totally laugh at people who set these signs up for sale and I'm like, yeah. I'm not crafty. I'm the person who calls and I hire someone to do stuff. And yet, do you know expert advice, how many, 10, 10 financial service people told me, sell your house. You need to sell your house. You're not going to be able to keep up the pool, you're not even mowing the lawn, sell your house. And you know what all my friends, don't sell your house, you need to hold on to that. And who did I listened to? I listened to my friends, and I held on to that house for two years longer than I should have. And I struggled, Rhonda. Mowing a lawn and taking care of, I failed chemistry in school, I should not, I repeat, I should not be taking care of a pool. I had a 30,000-gallon pool that had to put a cover on by myself. No, no. Sherly Brown:                  And so, I love the fact that you have a simple support program like this because what you need to do is advise those individuals. They do need to know the right words, and the right words were to listen to your financial service professionals. They know what's best for you. My friends love my heart and they don't want to, like nobody says man, let's go help Sheryl move this weekend. Literally no one wants to help you move. Nobody wants to move. The one regret that I have is that I didn't listen earlier on. And we should. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think again because it is emotional. And we know that our friends are coming from the right place. We tend to listen to them sometimes. But you're right. And the house is always one of those big challenging pieces. But I have several clients right now that are in that spot. They've got large homes, and a pool, all this stuff. And it's like, okay, well, either you're going to have to do all this work yourself. When do you have time to do that? Or you're going to have to hire somebody to do those things for you. What do you want that to look like? Rhonda Noordyk:            And so, I think for the people that can really take a look at the logical aspect while acknowledging the emotion, hey, it's never going to be easy to sell your house, to move, to start over, to do all those things, acknowledge the emotion but then also say, okay, logically what makes the most sense and move in that direction. Sherly Brown:                  And I have since then since I did sell my house this year, it was interesting because I was a little somber, a little melancholy about the whole process. But do you know that the day that the money hit my bank and I paid all my bills off? Like I am 100% debt-free. That sounds a lot better than that house ever made me feel. I was like, I wish I had done this, you know. And I went back to every one of those people, a shout out to an Eric Brotman out there, shout out to Barb Provos, Judy Hoberman, they were all like, sell that house, sell that house, and I didn't and I should have because they were like, no matter what you do it, you can always get another one. I mean, you can always, and you can always buy. And then it is more yours. Sherly Brown:                  And even the therapist was like, "I really highly recommend you sell that house." Kay was like, "What do you mean you're not selling the house yet?" I'm like, "My friends." As soon as she started to say "my friends said," she's like, "Oh, right there, stop." So I love that your organization and your firm is providing these kind of resources because they're just so valuable to the person going through it. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, absolutely. So, I know you've shared a few things that I jotted down as far as tips. So self-care, super helpful. Don't be afraid to ask for help. But again, asking the professionals for help and then relying on your friends for additional support. Pick up projects, right? Invest time in things that bring you joy. Anything else in addition to those things that you want to make sure that the gals listening- Sherly Brown:                  I would say that for yourself, so the three things that I want to make certain that we talked about today was one, therapy. Everybody deserves, do not feel ashamed for it. You don't have to tell anybody you're doing or you can tell everybody. It's you, it's your life, your business, your time. But it is valuable to just be able to say to someone who's not going to sit and eat pizza rolls and watch Harry Potter with you at night, this is how I feel so they can give you objective advice. And then from that objective advice, do not go to Facebook and say, well, my therapist, don't do it because she's doing that specifically for you. And so I think therapy is important. Sherly Brown:                  Anger. The sooner that you can let go of anger, people say to me, they were looking back at pictures, you know how Facebook has that memory where you can go back and look, when you look at pictures of me today where I'm so much lighter, not in weight, that is for sure. But in your face, and you can see like, when you let go of anger, there's a weight to it. There's such a weight to it. If you can find it, and I'll tell you, it's hard, you got to practice it every day because something will set you off, a bill. That's my super favorite part of this whole divorce is random bills appear that you had no idea but you have to pay them and you want to be angry. And instead, I have to be like, you know what, I'm going to pay this and then I'm going to move on and then just go on. Sherly Brown:                  When you do that, it's not Pollyanna-esque to do that. You are literally giving yourself permission to let go. And when you do that, your brain's free, your shoulders are free, your back is free, your waist is, you let it go. And I would say the other thing that from a practicality standpoint, the number one thing that I learned from this that I hope every person learns, separate your credit card debt. Do not commingle your debt because when I go back to what we first talked about, Rhonda, when we sat down and we divided up who was going to pay what, what I did not know, he did, I did not, was that when you have commingled debt such as credit cards, which seem to be the easiest, and you get divorced, it doesn't matter, TransUnion doesn't care about your divorce. Equifax doesn't really give two hoots about your divorce. They want the bills paid or they penalize you. Sherly Brown:                  So all he did was, yeah, I'll take all this debt and he didn't make one payment. I paid all that debt too. So not only did I get the stuff that I said I would take, I got his. And that could make you very angry, very angry. Yeah, I try to remember. But I think what I took away from it is it's become like my five minutes soapbox with people now. It's like, don't you get credit cards together, don't you get credit cards together. Keep them separate. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, that's huge, that's huge. Sherly Brown:                  And I know you talk about this with the ladies who come through. I know you do, but I didn't know that 30 years in financial services, there I was signing away for cards and stuff because I had very, very, very good credit. And I sold the house, paid all that off, I'm done. And it does make you lighter and stuff, but don't commingle your debt. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah. Sherly Brown:                  I don't even care if you're happily married, don't commingle your debt. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, absolutely. I think those are, I mean, such valuable tips that you have. And I love the fact too that when you look at from a timeline perspective, all this stuff hit the fan two years ago, almost two and a half, three years ago. Sherly Brown:                  Two and a half. Rhonda Noordyk:            It does not have to be like decades where you are struggling, decades where you are frustrated, decades where you are bitter. It doesn't have to be that but you have to go through it. So either you go through it as fast as you can and get through it and do the grieving and deal with emotions or it's going to linger. Sherly Brown:                  It will. And it will eat away at you. It is like a cancer, which I don't want to ever make it sound and take light of something that's very serious. But it is an emotional cancer that will just keep eating and eating and eating. And I think that for me, I just ripped that band-aid. Because otherwise you just peel a little bit and a little bit more and a little bit more and it's just not worth it. Sherly Brown:                  But, for me, the end result was that I would much rather have walked away from, I had to give up the two new cars that we had, I sold my house. I did all of these things, there's a moment, and especially if you're a little bit more materialistic, i.e., me, it was humbling to say, okay, you know what, I can't have these things right now. And so that meant that two years ago, I gave up cable. It meant that I gave up fancy cell phones. I literally just upgraded my iPhone to something more current. I gave up a lot of those things. Sherly Brown:                  But now today, oh my gosh, I can go on places and I think I don't need any of that. It's just stuff. I have really come to a whole other side. And the things I own, I like them and I kept them and I keep them nice, but I don't feel like I need to go do retail therapy if you will. And I think that's what I was doing in my marriage. I was like, I'll just buy this, it'll make me feel better. Sherly Brown:                  Just try to keep yourself, get through it fast, know that your friends love you, they're not your best therapist though. And then just try to not let anger become you. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, absolutely. You know, I'm so glad that we had an opportunity to chat today, and that you could share a little bit about your experience because I do remember. Sherly Brown:                  I've never talked to anybody. You are the only person I've told all this stuff to. Rhonda Noordyk:            Oh my gosh. I remember when you and I chatted, and I was like, no way, oh my gosh. So, I'm so glad that not only you are willing to share because I know that there's a lot of women that are listening that will be benefiting from your story and your encouragement and your tips, but also that you're in a different spot. And so, I just really value you taking the time to share with us today. And certainly, we will include your name and contact information in the show notes if anybody wants to reach out to you. I just want to thank everybody for listening today. Certainly, if you want to connect with Women's Financial Wellness Center, be sure to go to womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. And Sheryl, I hope you have a great day and thank you again so much for joining us. Sherly Brown:                  Thank you. Rhonda Noordyk:            Thank you so much for listening to the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast. I have enjoyed being your host. I trust that you have taken at least one thing that you can apply to your life today. If you'd like more information about this episode, please feel free to check out the show notes. And if you'd like to connect with the Women's Financial Wellness Center directly, please visit www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com.   ________________________________________ Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Sheryl Brown Sheryl has been working in financial services for more than 30 years. Today, with more than 2,300 members, she runs one of the larger networking communities for other women who work in financial services, called Females and Finance. And in 2020, she will be opening a financial services partnering firmed called Unified Financial Network where she plans to work alongside other financial service professionals in not only providing access to insurance products for fee-based and fee-only advisors, but also helping commission-based professionals get connected to new and different products to strengthen their overall offering.  Sheryl Brown CEO | Females and Finance sheryl@femalesandfinance.com | (636) 233-4200 Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | Twitter  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the Founder & CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In today's episode, we discuss: Identifying your strengths and how to position them How to handle time away from the traditional workforce The importance of shifting your mindset and how important it is when you are putting together your resumé    Rhonda: All right. Well thank you so much for joining us. Welcome to this episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. You know there's one common thread facing everyone that's going through or contemplating divorce and that is you don't know what you don't know. So, I want to make sure that I help you ask the tough questions to get the answers that you need. Rhonda: In today's episode, we're going to be diving into the topic of... resumé writing, right? And what do you do if you need to go back into the workforce or you need to up-level your skills to be able to really live the life that you have been wanting to live during or post-divorce. So, this episode is sponsored by Courageous Contemplation. It's our online course. So, if you find yourself contemplating divorce, please check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. So, I am here today with Dr. Heather Rothbauer-Wanish and she is, not only the owner of Feather Communications, but she's also a professional resumé writer and has been doing this since 2008. So, thank you so much for joining us today. Heather: Thanks, Rhonda. I'm glad to be here. Rhonda: So, tell us a little bit about... Before we dive into the tips that we have for our listeners today, if there are women that are listening, what are some of the things that you've seen as far as trends in resumé writing, basically, and let's let them know that they're not alone. Heather: Okay. Yeah. First of all, you are absolutely not alone. One of the trends that I've really noticed, whether I'm working with somebody that is getting divorced, maybe just stayed home raising kids, and is now entering the workforce, is probably 15 or 20 years ago. It's almost like we tried to hide that information, like, "Oh, I don't want them to know that I wasn't doing anything." Which by the way, we know you were doing a lot of different things, but now we address it. We just flat out address it in the resumé and say, "These five years, two years, whatever it was, here's what I was doing." And I think there's some value to that because people feel like they don't necessarily have to hide it and they can use those skills that they built during that time. Heather: Another trend that, you know, if somebody hasn't looked for a job for a really long time is understanding how the job search works today. It's important to know that resumés go through applicant tracking systems. You're not going to be physically handing your resumé to somebody anymore, so just understanding the different tips and tricks and ideas and being smart about how you're putting together your document to best identify your strengths and your skillset. Rhonda: I love that. And if you are listening, I hope that you find encouragement in that because things have shifted, and even in previous episodes that we've recorded, we've been talking about the importance of flexing. Like, hey, it's not that you have to be working in the nine-to-five jobs anymore in the corporate space. People are really starting to recognize, "Hey, what is it that I'm passionate about? What skills do I bring to the table? Gosh, could I turn that into a business?" Or, "Can I leverage some of those skills in the career space?" So, I love that. Rhonda: I remember... So, in teaching in higher education, I was teaching PowerPoint classes and Microsoft Office classes. And as part of that, I was encouraging my students to put together a resumé because I said, "You know what? The best time to put together a resumé is when you don't need one and you're not stressed- Heather: Exactly. Rhonda: ... and you're not feeling frustrated or bitter toward the employer that maybe had to part ways with you for various reasons." And so, I put as part of that process, I put together mine, and I thought, "Okay, I've got this really great chronological resumé." And the gal who was reviewing it at the college, their professional onsite resumé writer, said, "Yeah, Rhonda, I mean good information, but, man, this is an old-school format." Feeling like we need to put everything in chronological order and put as much as we can on there. And I want to say that I was clustered. But I think just also recognizing, what is it that really, we need to be putting on there and also realizing that we have control over what we put on there or don't put on there. Right? Heather: Exactly. And I always tell people, your resumé is meant to put enough out there that somebody is interested enough to call you for an interview to find out more. It's not your entire life story. It's not every single job that you've ever had since high school. Because people do it. It's not every single thing. It's what's relevant and thinking about what's relevant over a quantity of information is really, really important. And I think once people know that, once they realize that, "Oh, my gosh, you don't have to tell everybody every single thing. I can pick and choose what I want to share?" It changes how you look at the document, too. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, so let's dive in a little bit. First of all, I would love for anybody that's listening to know, how do they identify really and document the skills and abilities that they have? How do they pick what cream should rise to the top, if you will? Heather: Well, the first thing I would tell you is that often when I'm working with clients and I say, "Oh, tell me your top three skills," or "Tell me your top few strengths." The typical response is, "Hmm, I don't know. Well, let me think about it." And they don't know. So, I think just getting into the mindset of thinking about, "Hey, what are my strengths?" And so, what I tell people is to look at some job postings. Figure out, "Hey, this job sounds kind of interesting." Don't even worry about the title of the job at this point. Just look at the job description and then look at the skillsets and the responsibilities that they're requiring of that candidate. And I bet you will find that those are some of your skills. Heather: So, it's really important to align your skills and your abilities and what you list on the document towards each job opportunity. A lot of times people will think that they have to reinvent the wheel every single time that they're sending the resumé out. And it's like, you don't have to start from scratch every time, but you might need to tweak some of those words. So just thinking about that, and then the one tip that I have found really, really works, works with myself, you can play a little mind trick on yourself, is instead of thinking about, "What are my skills? What are my strengths? What am I good at?" Shift it in your mind and think from the perspective of, "I wonder what my coworkers would say about me? What does my last job review say about me? What would my best friends say that are my top skills?" Heather: And all of a sudden you come to a place of, "Wow, that person would say I'm organized. I'm a good leader. I get along well with people. I have good communication skills," and all of these skills start tumbling out. So, sometimes it's just kind of thinking about it a little bit differently, too. But it's really, really important that you look at the skills that are required of the jobs and then match those skillsets to your resumé. Rhonda: Yeah, I love that. Well, and are there any assessments, third party assessments that you encourage people to take? Heather: Oh, my gosh, there are so many that are out there. One of the assessments that I'm sure a lot of your listeners have heard of is StrengthFinders. Rhonda: One of my favorites. Heather: Yeah. Mine too. Mine is actually sitting right over there. I think sometimes we think we know what our strengths are, but then when you see it worded from a third party, it's like, "Yeah, that is what I'm good at. That just totally describes me." So that would be one of them that I would recommend for a lot of people. There's also one of the places that I used to work at and we would give our interviewees a DiSC profile. So, D-i-S-C. Again, not that any of these tell you everything about yourself, but it's really nice to find some words that kind of describe your personality style. Heather: So that's another one. There's like three versions of it. They're not like super in-depth, but it gets you started on that path. Rhonda: Yeah. I think the self-awareness piece is huge, right? I mean, if you're somebody who is a D, a very direct person in the D for DiSC, and you're applying for a support role, well, depending on the dynamics and the culture, there might be a little bit of tension there because you're going to want to take charge and get stuff done, versus somebody who's maybe an S or a C, and more of, by nature, more of a support role, loves the analytical detail stuff, maybe a little bit more behind the scenes. Heather: Exactly. Exactly. Rhonda: I love the- Heather: It's funny that you said D because that is mine. And so, it's like sometimes I have to remember, "Okay, this is not the point to bring some of these things up." Or, "This is not a good time for the D part to come out". Yeah. Rhonda: Well, and I think, too, I encourage if you are listening, gosh, look up these assessments. The StrengthFinder is a Gallup poll assessment. It's so awesome. Of the 34 different themes, it's going to give you your top five so you can really start to internalize what you're good at and how you're wired. And then also, for the DiSC profile, I love that, too. And also knowing that, hey, we can flex that because there we'll have our dominant one and then one under stress. So, for me, I'm an "i", influencer, pretty outgoing, all that kind of stuff. Love getting people together. But then when I have to be, I'm a D. When I have to get stuff done or the hammer has to come down, I can be a D. Rhonda: But the nice thing is, once you become very aware of how you are and you can operate consistently in that, the other people around you also know what to expect from you. So, I think it can give you an added sense, from my perspective, an added sense of confidence when you're not only writing your resumé but if you get to the point where you're doing interviews where you can really walk in and say, "Here's who I am. Let's find out if this is a good fit or not." Heather: Right. Exactly. And I think there is something to be said for just being aware of it yourself, and just recognizing some of those traits in other people who, like, "Oh, I can tell from having a conversation with this person, this person is much more of an i, or a C," and you can kind of adjust. Not that you have to change everything, but you can kind of adjust your communication style to align better with that individual also. Rhonda: Yeah. Absolutely. I love that. So yes, so identifying their strengths. So, once they've identified them, how do they document them? Heather: So, your skills and strengths, what I tell people, is like on your resumé at the top, obviously we'll have your name, your contact information, and that sort of thing. Then I typically have a career summary, but immediately after that, so in the top third of the resumé, I put the skills section or the strengths because when you're going through these online applicant tracking systems that companies utilize on websites, you have to make sure it's frontloading the information. Make sure that you're dropping in all of these words at the beginning so that the software likes your document. That's important. Heather: And why would we want to bury our skills and strengths at the bottom anyway? Especially if you haven't been in the traditional workforce for quite a while, let's focus on those strengths and abilities and accomplishments, boom, right up the top, so that somebody is hooked enough that they want to keep reading about you. So, I definitely, definitely, consistently put it in the top third of the resumé. Rhonda: Awesome. And can you just share a little bit about how those systems work for... If you're listening and you're like, "Okay, what is she talking about?" Picking out keywords or whatever. Share with us a little bit about that. Heather: Yeah. So, a lot of people that I work with are 40 and up and they're like, "I don't even know exactly. I don't know what you're talking about." So, what happens is, on company websites instead of paying me or some other HR person to sit there and just sift through a hundred resumés or 200 or whatever, they have software on their website. So as soon as you click Upload, boom, there goes your resumé, like, what happens to it? I always joke, like does it just go into some abyss somewhere? Like what happens? Heather: Well, those companies have the software that as soon as the documents are coming through, it's scanning them and it's scanning them for a word match percentage to the job posting. So, for a lot of these different systems companies can set up, they have to match whatever, 50%. They have to match 60%. Whatever they decide they need. And if your resumé doesn't have enough of those same words in it, you're out. You're out before a human being even gets your document. Heather: So, the point is, is when you're reading an ad online, when you're reading something on Indeed or any of the other job boards, pay attention to the bullet points in the ad. Pay attention to the list where it says, key skills required, or applicants must have... And then there's a bullet list of 10 bullets. Those are the keywords. Those are your skills. And it can be something as simple as, let's say, you decide to put project management as one of your skills, and you read the job posting and it says you must have project leadership abilities. Then put project leadership. Heather: It can just be something as small as that. And I always caution people, within reason, obviously, you can't just throw stuff on there just for the heck of it. Cross your fingers to get through the system because anything that you put on there is fair game for them asking you about it during an interview, and you have to have something to back it up. You can't just say, "Oh, I'm a good project manager," and then they say, "Give me an example." And you're like, "Well, let me think." You have to have an example. So, it's just being smart about using a lot of the same verbiage that they have in their job posting and utilizing that on your document. Rhonda: Awesome. That's awesome. So, we've covered how to identify some of those skills and then really how to position them within the document itself. Talk to us about, for anybody who's listening. So, if you're listening right now and you say, "Hey, I've been away from the workforce for a while in a traditional sense." What is the, I guess, right way and what's the wrong way to address that time away? Heather: One of the things that I've seen a lot lately is, and maybe your listeners are familiar with it, but it's like the sandwich generation. It's the generation of people that are either A) taking care of kids, they're now they're returning to work, or they're taking care of kids and/or also taking care of a relative, an ailing parent or something. So, there's a lot of people that are out of the workforce for a couple of years, maybe 15 years, who knows? Instead of, again, ignoring that and not even addressing it, I will put a simple one-line line item on the document that says, "Stepped away from the traditional workforce from 2010 through 2015 to care for an ailing relative," or, "To provide healthcare for a parent," or whatever. Again, you don't have to go into drastic detail. People know that other people have lives, like things happen. Heather: You have kids. Our parents get sick. You have to take a year off; you have to take two years off. I think what's really changed in the more recent years is that there is a level of understanding that stuff happens, and you might have to step away for a while from the traditional workforce. Does that mean you weren't doing anything? Absolutely not. And so one of the things I'll do is, again, just put that one little sentence on it saying, "Cared for children from 2007 to 2017," and then go back into other things like maybe you were the fundraising chair at your kids' school. Maybe you volunteered at the nursing home 20 hours a week, whatever. Heather: One of the things I always tell people is, just because we're calling it professional history or work history or professional experience, it doesn't mean that it has to be paid work where you're getting a paycheck every other Friday. Like, this experience is experience. So, the volunteerism, put it in there because guess what, that shows you're organized, you can work with different team members, you can organize projects, coordinate things, all of that. So, don't be afraid to put things in there that aren't necessarily kind of that traditional work history. Rhonda: Awesome. Yeah, I think that's really great advice because there is value in those things and I think there has been this level of, "Okay, well, I don't want to lie and say that I was working when I wasn't, but I think there's value in that," and there's usually a good reason. So, what you're saying is, hey, just put it out there. Heather: Yep, exactly. Exactly. Rhonda: I love that. So, we have talked about some of the strengths and how to position those and then, also, how do you handle that time away? I want to take a brief break and then we'll come back and then we're going to talk about shifting your mindset. Okay? So, you want to make sure that you stay tuned for our third and final point together.     Rhonda: So, I am so excited to be able to share with you that today's show has been sponsored by Courageous Contemplations. It is our online course. It is perfect for women that are contemplating, "Should I stay, or should I go?" Right? And so, you have an opportunity to walk through eight modules, privately, without anybody knowing, so you can gather the information that you need to make a good decision. And at the end of that you will have an opportunity to decide, "Hey, do I need more time? Would I love to be able to connect with Rhonda and move forward, or am I just going to wait? And, you know what, maybe I'm going to stay in this relationship." So, if you have an opportunity to check out www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/courses, make sure that you visit Courageous Contemplations to learn more.     Rhonda: So, let's jump back in. And, Heather, I want you to share a little bit about the importance of shifting your mindset and how important that is as you're putting together the resumé. Heather: Yes. Oh, this is my favorite topic, Rhonda. Oh, it's my favorite part. Okay. So, when I work with people, they are always concerned that I'm bragging. Oh, my gosh, I'm talking myself up so much. I talked to a lady last week and she said, "Oh, listen to me, talking about all these certifications." And I stopped her. That's probably my D coming out, but I stopped her in her phone call, and I said, "Is this a fact? That you have these three certifications?" And she said, "Well, yeah." And I said, "Then why do you feel bad about it? You're just simply stating a fact." Heather: So that's what I tell my clients, is like, you're not bragging if you're simply stating a fact. If you earned these three awards last year, okay, then it is what it is. You are stating a fact. It's just like saying, "I'm X, Y, Z years old." That's a fact. So, stop thinking about it as if you're bragging or that you're being boastful, because you're not. You're just saying what happened. And the other thing is, if you don't say what happened, if you're concerned that, "Oh, my goodness, I'm going to come across as being conceited and bragging," I guarantee you, I guarantee you that somebody else is putting their stuff on their resumé and they're going to get the interview and you are not, because you are so afraid of sounding like you're being boastful. Heather: If it's a fact, if it happened, put it on there. That's how I look at it. If it's something that actually happened, then why are we concerned about bragging? And, maybe I shouldn't say this, but I'm going to, whenever I've worked with a guy, they don't have that issue. Rhonda: Yeah, you read my mind. That was my follow-up question. Heather: No man that I have ever worked with has ever said, "Oh, my goodness, I probably shouldn't say that because I sound like I'm bragging." Not one in all of these years. So, I don't know, it's ingrained in us as women, whatever it is. But get over it because if it happened, it's a fact, and you're just putting that fact on paper. Rhonda: That's right. So, Heather and I, okay, ladies, are giving you permission, to state the facts and own how awesome you are. Right? Heather: Exactly. Exactly. Rhonda: I'm so glad that you addressed this because you're right. And then don't apologize for it. You've worked hard for the certifications, you worked hard for those awards, you worked hard for the experience and the time that you put in in whatever capacity that is. Let's just own it. Right? Heather: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Exactly. And so, my favorite thing is whenever I coach somebody and they say, "Oh, my gosh, I got my resumé, I would hire myself." That's how you have to think of this. Like, I want to look so awesome that of course people are going to call me. Why wouldn't they? Because I've done all of these things. And I think as the more you do it, you kind of think of that first, you probably will feel a little odd about it. But again, you're just saying what happened. It is what it is. Rhonda: And I think, too, it is hard to take a step back and really, even take an inventory of all the things that we've done, because sometimes in the midst of it, they either don't seem as important or we're emotional about certain aspects of it or whatever. And I remember one time I was talking to a friend; we were actually doing a similar exercise but for a different purpose. And the purpose was to put together a speaker profile and to say, "Okay, what experiences have I had and where have I spoken before?" And stuff like that. Rhonda: And one of the women in there said, "Well, oh, my gosh, I forgot about the fact that I was on the radio once a week for like eight years or whatever. And it was many years ago." And I'm like, "Who cares? You can still put it on there. You don't have to put a date and the fact that..." I mean, but until we went through that prompting exercise, I said, "Let's think about some of these things." And we were like, "That's totally cool." Clearly, I mean, you had something to say. You still have something to say. People recognize that. They invited you to be on their show. We need to highlight that kind of stuff, you know? Heather: Exactly, exactly. And the other thing too, is, when you're thinking about your jobs and taking care of your kids and being out of work for a while, one of the other things I'll hear is like, "Oh, well, I just did this," or, "I just did that." Like stop “justing” yourself. You did this. It's not, "Oh, I just stayed home with three kids for 15 years." Like, hello. That's a lot of work. So, yeah, don't use... If you catch yourself starting to use the word "just" in your vocabulary, even in your mind, stop doing that because you're minimizing whatever it is that you did accomplish. You're minimizing it to yourself, so you need to stop doing that and get the word "just" out of your vocabulary. Rhonda: Totally. Oh, my gosh. High five. I agree. It's like, yes. And any of us who have stayed home even for a short period of time, know that going to work is a far easier gig. Heather: It's a treat. It's like, I get to go to work. Rhonda: It's a treat. Oh, my gosh, yeah. Totally. Yeah, it's hard work. Right? Heather: Exactly. Rhonda: So, I love where we have been able to take our time together and a couple of things. I always say that the intention with this is to leave women with a couple of tips or tools or thoughts that they didn't have before they hopped onto this podcast. But I also want to keep it in bite-size pieces so they can listen while they're either on the way to work or scrubbing the floor or working out or whatever. And so, it has come time to what I call kind of land the plane, which means I always like to end our podcast episodes with two things. One is your favorite quote related to the work that you do. And then, lastly, a client success story. So, let's start with, what is your favorite quote? Heather: My favorite quote is actually a quote from Thomas Edison, and it says, "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." So, I actually toured his estate in Florida many years ago and I bought his biography and then I saw that quote and I was, "Yes. I love that quote." So that's kind of my motto, absolutely. So, it is work, but the thing is that it's also opportunities, so you need to take advantage of it. Rhonda: Awesome. That's awesome. Love that. And share with us a client success story. Heather: Sure. So, I worked with a lady that, she lives in the local area to me, so Northwestern Wisconsin where the weather is potentially less than desirable about six months out of the year. And she had gone through a divorce, she had raised her kids, and she was looking to get back into the workforce. She was very timid and almost afraid, again, of sharing her successes. And so, I worked with her, we went through this whole resumé process, building it from scratch because she didn't have one, she didn't need one. And to make a long story short, she actually got a new job and she now lives in California. So, she moved, which I think I should probably visit her, like in January. But, anyway... Rhonda: That's a good business right off. Right? Woo-Hoo. Heather: I know. I know. Yeah. But anyway, I mean, that changed her life. She moved. So, it had a really big impact. And if I even had a tiny bit of that, I love it. I absolutely love it. Rhonda: Oh, I love that story. And I think the thing that I was thinking of, that the whole essence of this is, yeah, it's about having something practical and tangible at the end of this process, but it's confidence. Heather: Mm-hmm. That's right. Exactly. Rhonda: I mean, you are a professional resumé writer and confidence builder, right? Those two things together are so important. And I know that as women have gone through divorce or going through divorce, I mean, the one thing that gets probably impacted the most is their confidence for a variety of different reasons. And so, if you're listening to this podcast, I want to encourage you to take that step and start doing some of the things that we talked about in this episode to move you in the right direction of rebuilding your confidence, taking some time to become aware of what are your strengths and what am I good at and shifting your mindset. And then certainly, we'll include Heather's contact information in the show notes, Heather, and they can reach out to you for some additional support. Rhonda: I know that you have a special offer here, which I'm super excited about. And so, for anybody that is listening, Heather has graciously offered to do a free resumé review. This is awesome. Thank you. Heather: You're welcome. Rhonda: So you can send your resumé to her, she'll provide you some information, tips and improvements so that you can move forward with your job search, and Heather's website …you know why don't you go ahead and share with us the website or the best way for them to contact you for the review. Heather: Sure. So, my website is feather. So, it rhymes with Heather, but, feather-communications.com, and there is the hyphen between feather and communications. But my email address is on there, my phone number, they can connect with me. I have a Facebook business page as well if they want to send their resumé. I love giving people advice. And so, if your resumé is one year old, six months old or 16 years old, I don't care. Send it to me, I will look at it and say, "Here's some ideas for you, make the changes that you want." We can talk further if you want, but either way, I want to give them helpful, concrete tips so that they can move forward. Rhonda: Thank you. It's women like you that I'm so grateful that we have in our community. It's like, "Hey, I'm going to give first and I know that women need what it is I have to offer and I'm willing to help them." So, thank you. Heather: Sure. Absolutely. Rhonda: Thank you for being one of our guests on the Divorce Conversations for Women podcast. And today's show has been sponsored by Courageous Contemplations, our online course. So, if you find yourself contemplating divorce, please check out www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/courses. Thank you for listening to this episode. I'd love for you to be part of the conversation. So simply comment on this episode, drop us a review on iTunes or get involved anytime at womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. I'm Rhonda Noordyk, and I hope you know what you don't know about divorce. ________________________________________ Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Dr. Heather Rothbauer-Wanish Dr. Heather Rothbauer-Wanish has a BBA in management from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, an MBA from Lakeland College, and a Ph.D. in Organization and Management from Capella University. She LOVES helping people position themselves for today's job market. She can help boost your confidence by creating a resumé that helps you land your DREAM JOB.   Dr. Heather Rothbauer-Wanish PhD, MBA, and a Certified Professional Resumé Writer Owner and Founder | Feather Communications heather@feather-communications.com | (715) 559-6378 Facebook | LinkedIn | YouTube   Resources Mentioned: StrengthsFinder DiSC Assessment ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the Founder & CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

Rhonda: Welcome to this episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. There's one common thread facing everyone that's contemplating divorce or even in the midst of divorce, and that is, you don't know what you don't know, right? So I want to make sure to ask the tough questions so that you can get the answers that you need. In today's episode, we're going to dive into the topic of negotiation for women. This episode is sponsored by Courageous Contemplation, our online course. So, if you're contemplating divorce, I want you to check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. I am so excited today. I am joined with Nicole Martin and John Tinghitella. To learn more about Nicole and John, we've linked their website and additional information in the show notes. You can also check out their website at www.nofearnegotiation.com. I want to get started here today. I am so excited that you guys are here because I feel like this is a topic that definitely deserves to have its own podcast episode. So, I'm a woman facing divorce, right? What's the one thing that we want the women that are listening to know about negotiating? Nicole: It's so interesting, Rhonda, because I think that if you think of it with that directness of the question, the one thing I would say to a woman that's really thinking about negotiation is first the fact that it's a two-way discussion or conversation or exchange, and that they are worthy no matter what they are feeling or how they're feeling as they approach that table, that they are worthy equal in that conversation. And the question is, do they feel equal, first of all? Are they prepared in that conversation when they come forth? And are they also ready to listen? Because like I said, it's a two-way exchange. That's probably the first thing I would say. I don't know, John, what would you say? John: I think that's a really good starting point. I think the power to listen is crucial to any successful negotiation. But to back up even another step, negotiation is just another word for managing relationships. Negotiation tends to have a negative connotation in a lot of people's minds, which creates resistance, which creates people not wanting to do it, which usually means they end up with a bad result because they kind of faded out when they should have leaned in. But that said, the ability to listen upfront is absolutely crucial. There's also a realistic connotation to negotiation that needs to be addressed and managed. It's the fact that negotiations, by their nature, are highly competitive, and we have to be careful in a negotiation to realize there's a clear winner and loser. This is not a ballgame with a time clock and a score at the end. This is people managing their lives going forward, and everyone has to leave, not so much with a victory, but everyone has to leave with what matters to them. And Rhonda, in your discipline of managing women through the extremely difficult dynamic of divorce, they tend to be highly competitive, highly adversarial, and a lot of times there are winners and losers, and that's just not healthy. It's a horrible outcome and our goal is to have positive outcomes. Rhonda: And so I agree, and I love the perspective of it being built on relationships. I've got a client right now who is ... her attorney is a guy, then there's her husband and his attorney is a guy. And she's at the table feeling like nobody's listening to her. And so, the preparation part, I think, is super important, number one. And so I've been working behind the scenes with her to help prepare her to have some of those conversations. I think, Nicole, you mentioned the worthiness. Man, that is probably one of the most challenging pieces as women are going through divorce, their confidence has been shattered. Can we talk about the worthy piece? Do you have any suggestions or tips as they're going into this? And I don't like the whole fake it ‘til you make it thing, but I think ... Are there some specific things that women could be doing to build up, like, I'm worthy to have this conversation, and what I have to say is important? Nicole: Well, and we actually kind of put forth three letters with what we do with our process within negotiation specifically, No Fear Negotiation. And the first letter is M, and M really stands for changing your mindset. And I think for women, especially going through relationships, I can recall a particular instance for myself personally where almost every relationship that I'd had where it had come to an end and I was leaving, my counterpart in that relationship had actually driven me to a place of guilt where you're feeling like you weren't working hard enough or you didn't do enough or you need ... this is your fault that you're letting go and you're the quitter or something to that effect. And I would say that the strength that you derive as a woman through that exchange knowing that you're not to be made to feel less than and that you have tried, and feeling justified in the fact that maybe you've tried and you've come to this decision, because surely for a woman, by the time she's had that conversation, she's thought about it probably for months, if not years prior. So, she's already separated herself from it, but she can be drawn back in or even worse, just emotionally brought down. Nicole:  And I would say for a woman that's coming into that exchange, it's really important from a worthiness perspective to honor your internal voice and what you know is right for you. And knowing and having faith that you're a child of God and that that other individual is special and a child of God as are you, and it's your responsibility to speak truth, and it's your responsibility to walk in your truth. And when you're walking in your truth and you speak from a place of love, not anger, not rage, but love, where probably ... and hopefully something started, you can still love somebody and not be in love with them. And if you can bring yourself back to that place of love for that other person, then you can hopefully look in the mirror and say, but more importantly, I love me and I know this is important for me, and for what reasons. And find a mantra that reinvests that voice in yourself so that you stay strong. Whether that'd be for you, if you can't do it for yourself, do it for children if you have children in your relationship. Do it for something outside of you that makes you strong. But you must get to the place where it comes from within. Nicole: And sometimes, if you've been deceived or betrayed or you feel wronged, it's really important to talk to somebody else. And I think therapy is a great thing. I think getting a resource, somebody to talk out loud to help you reinforce you until you can reinforce yourself is, I think, critically important. Rhonda: Huge. That's huge. That is really huge. And I think spot-on, right, to all of the things that you're saying, because I do think that most of the challenge when it comes to having these types of conversations and negotiating is a lot of that is our self-talk, right, and how we're showing up for the meetings. As I've been working with women, there was one girl in particular that comes to mind. I mean, she has just been full of guilt and feels super bad about her situation. And I mean pretty much couldn't talk about it without, I mean, doing the ugly cry. And we finally got her to a point where she could show up for the meetings, and still, there's some emotion, but it wasn't like that level of not being able to really clearly think through certain aspects of it. And she's a smart woman who has a lot to offer, but she needed to be able to show up in those meetings in that way. And I know that for her, that was a really big win. I felt like I could contribute. Rhonda: Now, the challenge with that is when the other person or people in the meetings aren't used to that particular individual having a voice. There now becomes a level of ... a little bit of a ... it seems to be a little bit of a power struggle in those situations because they're used to being able to just dominate the conversation, and now she wants to be part of the conversation. She's got some good points to bring up, and so it's a whole new level of listening and hearing that is required on the other side as well. Nicole: Right. We have to remember we can only control ourselves. And so, I see, more a woman who is at that table and she's maybe finding her voice and her inner strength. It's important to come, like I said, from a place of love because not everybody grows at the same pace. And so sometimes if you have a man across the table from you who you at some point in time loved and hopefully can still love, then you're coming to a place of maybe adding some extra words, some extra things that you prepare yourself to say to affirm that you respect the other individual. I think if you're coming at a place of disrespect, then yeah, you're going to trigger another individual. And so, one tip I can say just from working with human beings, in general, is to say the word “you”, actually, you should never say the word “you” in any negotiation or collaborative context, unless it's a compliment. You come to the place of I. And a woman can own her I voice all day long just as a man can. Nicole: And as long as the woman is actually coming from a place of I, I feel, I expect, I would like, I have left with this feeling, I own, I all day long, and avoid the word “you” unless you're giving a compliment. And find other ways to wrap the conversation so you're not triggering an event of diagnosing somebody when you're not a doctor in a negotiation situation. What do you have to say about that, John? John: And Rhonda, thinking rather than Nicole, what's important to keep in mind here too is the power of the letter M, as in mindset. Hopefully, mindsets have been changed before a divorce situation occurs, but if not, it's part of a lifelong evolution. And the thing about negotiation in our book, we call it a simple repeatable process to improve your life. And M is the first letter. It's changing of the mindset. And that's an easy thing to say and a really hard thing to do. There's been a 100,000 years of social programming where men have had the power differential in the world. We get that, we totally get that. To just ask a woman to snap her fingers and change her mindset overnight is highly unreasonable. Nicole: Good luck, right? Rhonda: It's not happening. John: It's a possibility. And the idea of the mindset is you don't change it just to get through this divorce situation. You change it for the rest of your life and everything else that you do. Stop managing relationships. There's nothing about using negotiation tools to manage the relationship. And the idea here is we're pursuing great outcomes and we're preserving relationships. That's what we're trying to accomplish. And that's why M is so powerful as the starting point. As we go forward, there are two more letters. I'll let Nicole kick off the second letter here in just a second, but we have to start with the adjustment and evolution of a new mindset. Rhonda: Well, and can I get one thing here quick? Nicole: Yeah. Go, Rhonda. Rhonda: I was looking at some of the great materials that you guys put together, and one of the things that I noticed that kind of resonated with me was the fact that 70% of people prefer to avoid negotiation. And if I could do a show of hands 5, 10 years ago, that was me, like, oh my gosh, just the thought of having to negotiate created anxiety for me because I didn't have the right mindset around that particular situation. But now that I have learned how to do that and I'm continuing to learn how to do that, it takes a little bit of the pressure off when we say, “Hey, listen. Let's look at this on how can we create win-win outcomes? How can we preserve relationships? How can we respect the”... I mean that's essentially what everybody wants. In an ideal world, we want to preserve relationships; we want to be heard; we want to respect other people; we want to be respected in return. Like, oh, that's the gold standard, right? Rhonda: And yet, because we, particularly as women, don't know how, and probably many of the women that are listening to the podcast, right, you might not know how, but if you knew how you could do it, right? And so, I love the fact that it starts with the mindset piece, knowing that only 30% of the people really kind of embrace that, we have a lot of work to do. Nicole: Yeah. And I think there's something that John and I really talked at length about, which is really this concept of the tension of opposites. And I think John could probably speak to it the best, but that we have to honor the fact that yeah, there is a tension of opposites, and I think ... John, you want to speak to that really quickly? John: Absolutely. And I think we chose the phrase tension of opposites because we're actually quoting it out of a famous book, Tuesdays with Morrie, written by Mitch Albom. And in it, Morrie said, essentially, we all live in the middle. And life is like a set of rubber bands that we're pulling. But we essentially live in the middle. We're relatively normal people doing normal things. Unfortunately, we have a present-day media that is barking at us from the edges, but the whole world basically lives a relatively middle existence. And that tension of opposites speaks to how we need to approach people. We need to understand that everyone has a need and the power of listening. And this is more, I think quite frankly more of a guy evolution. But the power of listening creates the opportunity to find both of us in that middle. Once we find that common ground, we can negotiate effectively, because again, the whole objective here is that we get great outcomes and we preserve the relationship, which means we both have to, I won't use the word win, but we both have to flourish in this experience. Rhonda: Yeah. Absolutely. So we've talked about the M, the mindset. What's the next one, Nicole? Nicole: The next letter that we have is P, it's preparation. And I think we emphasized, John and I, the importance of preparation. And many people walk into situations daily not fully prepared and it only resorts to them being reactive, rather than proactive in what the outcome is going to be quite honest. And so, preparation is something where we say that we like to start with data. So how many women are actually coming to the table with data versus just their emotions? And we're not talking about data that's going to trigger emotion, that's going to put the other counterpart down. It's going to actually say, well, you didn't give me this and you didn't do that, because remember we said we're not going to use the word you. So we have to come back and say, okay, how do we start with data by saying I? Nicole: And then confronting those emotions that you're bringing emotionally to the negotiation table, especially in a personal situation such as divorce. You must confront your emotions and you must try to get to the place where you're coming to the table unemotional and with love. And that may take a lot of preparation. That may take role-playing that may, that may take a lot of investment in time getting ready for that day, whatever that day might be, and become the other side. You must become the other side. You must think about where the other person's coming from. You must think about how they're feeling. You must actually reside in their shoes for a moment mentally to say, “what is this person trying to do out of this exchange? What do they need to walk away from?” And I think for women and men, it's really unique. We always say that men are motivated by results and that women are motivated by effort. And when you think of that, and we're coming to the conversation at the table, women can do the work if they have this process. We call it the PST: the process, the sequence, and the tools. Nicole: So when you have the preparation of our PST, as we call it, process, sequence, and tools, right, so ladies, get your PST on, right, if you have that, then ultimately you're going to be able to come to the table without those emotions. You'll have some data, some facts. Hopefully, you'll be coming from both sides. You'll have a little information about what you hope or presume or think the other person wants and how you've taken that into consideration, and you're going to invent some options prepared in your mind, know what you're willing to accept, your thresholds, your tolerances, etc., and you're going to have bracketized offers, as we call it, meaning you've worked and done all the thinking to the point that you've come to the table unemotionally with actual options that are truly representative of both sides so you can kind of start to talk of a new alternative for you both of shared creation. That is really important. And I think ... John, why don't you talk about the key thing, which is most important, the final tip to our PST, as we call it, on preparation. I'd love for you to talk about just agenda. John: Well, it's interesting. One of the great things about P being the second letter in our sequence is a data point of one I observed in my life certainly with the wonderful women in my life. They're amazing life preparers, and I never ... I mean guys sometimes marvel. They may not admit it, but they marvel at the ability to multitask and manage through a myriad of issues on a daily basis, and it takes enormous preparation to accomplish that. So I think preparation comes naturally to certainly most women that I know. And the great thing about doing the preparation in the sequence that Nicole laid out, in the book we use an arrow. It's a six-step process. The great thing about it is it creates muscle memory. And once you've done it once, it gets easier the second, third, fourth time. I'm someone who had to embrace negotiation early on. I was one of the 70%. I didn't want to do it. But as I did it, the muscle memory kicked in and it became rote for me to a point where I now embraced it. John: And what Nicole was referring to with the last step of preparation, and this is, believe it or not, it's painfully simple. It's the formation of an agenda. I own a business now, but most of my career came from the sales or customer-facing end of the world, and I've made over 5,000 sales calls in my life. And virtually every time I did that, I had a piece of paper in my hand or something that laid out a few bullet points or a larger discussion of how we were going to frame this meeting. And in almost every single case, the other side would say, “Oh, thanks for bringing that. I'm glad you did that. Let's use that.” You have now subtly taken control of the meeting, not in a bad way, but you frame the discussion to where you believe it really needs to go. It is a simple and constantly overlooked tool that every time we bring it up we get people's eyebrows to raise because when it happens, it almost always creates an opportunity in an environment for great outcomes. Rhonda: Right. No. This is fantastic. In preparation with data, this is something that very much resonates with me, and I want to encourage the women that are listening to really grab ahold of this, because I always say, listen, I don't want us to assume. I don't want us to assume that the other person isn't being honest. I don't want to assume that we don't have all the information, but I do want to encourage women. I want to encourage you to gather the facts, get the data, gather the statements, organize the information, ask questions. One of the tools that we use is a financial private investigator. If there are concerns from a local or national level that there is information that's missing, let's go run the report. Let's find the information. If it comes back and there isn't anything there, then we know. If there is, then we'll deal with that information as it becomes available. Rhonda: But it becomes this ... The entire divorce process, I think if women can look at it as a fact-finding mission to say, “Hmm, isn't that interesting? Okay. Let's ask some more questions. Let's gather information.” I think they will really feel empowered as they're going through the process, because there's really four kinds of big rocks with that, finding the data, determining how to actually file for divorce. The next one is gathering all the financial documents, getting all the passwords, organizing all of that information. Then it's filling out the financial disclosure statements and all the paperwork associated with that, and doing a comparison between what their husband brings to the table and what they're bringing to the table as far as what they're disclosing. And then it's, okay, well, now we've got that information, we're going to put it into a property division worksheet and we're going to analyze that data, and then we're going to have some negotiation about what's in whose column. And then the last piece is the marital settlement agreement, that final divorce decree that we're going to again, analyze the data, review the facts, right? Rhonda: So I want to encourage everybody that's listening to say, Hmm, isn't that interesting? This step, the mindset piece, huge, right? The data piece, super important to this process. Of all of the things, this could be related to the divorce process, one of the most important. And it's getting the data as early on as possible in the process because once you start to kind of go down that divorce path is when things start to sometimes move or shift around. So, the sooner you can get your hands on the data, the more prepared you're going to be as you go through the process. The average divorce process is 52 weeks. That's an entire year that women have to set and reframe their mindset, continue to gather data, right, which is an important piece of this whole process. I love that part, such an important piece. Nicole: Well, and I think a lot of that was about the preparation, but as you're saying, we agree, preparation is probably the biggest weight emotionally or otherwise that you bring to any negotiation table. But really the fireworks can start to fly, I think, in any negotiation, especially in the context of a relationship, like divorce, when you're starting to ask for something. Nothing really is going to happen or hit the fan until that, right, John? John: Absolutely. Nicole: And we have a path to ask, and it's again, another one of our arrows in our process in our book, but it starts with that aspect of listening that comes to really getting to the other side. But I'm somebody that’s been ... I've been in relationships. I've never been divorced. But I can tell you even in the relationships that I had prior to the marriage that I have, it felt probably similar to what I imagined divorce to feel like because I'd lived with those people for years. And I think that John has a personal experience, and having him on this call is really important because he's a divorce survivor. And I think that someone who's been through this, been there, done that, can speak to it and maybe offer a unique lens to the women on the call because we really believe that the path to ask as we call it, which is where you listen, you precap, you think about all those options again and you start to build and make your case for what it is you're asking for. Nicole: You have to be able to bring things to the table to help substantiate what you're asking for and why and recalibrate that potentially based on the give and take of the conversation in exchange. But then you're ultimately hoping to ask and receive. Stay in the bracket that you've designed in terms of your acceptance, what you can live with, and then ultimately the accountability of what we call the 24-hour rule. So John, I'm going to let you really walk through a story maybe that you can speak to on the path to ask and help the women as they might embark on their journey. John: Absolutely. I'll use an example if you don't mind. It's non-divorce related. It's a business-related experience, but it's extremely relevant because the path to ask is really parallel in everything you do in life. And I'll make it relatively quick. I managed a wonderful young lady who became a sales manager for me a little over 25 years ago, and we had a very important customer in our world, who was extremely big and extremely difficult. And they prided themselves on being extremely hard. It was a high testosterone environment, extremely hard on anyone who walked in the door who was attempting to sell or supply them with products, which we were trying to do. In fact, they went so far and they were so bold and brazen about it they put a big sign over their door called Club Brutal, and the whole idea where you needed to know you were walking into a pretty nasty place. John: But what made it even more insidious, Rhonda, is that it was guys roughing up guys. But on those rare occasions when a female sales manager would walk in the door, they prided themselves, and this is really, really, really terrible, it was institutional bullying. They prided themselves on getting the woman to cry. And so, this young woman, who's now working for me, I had been through the Club Brutal a few times and I had my scars, but I did all right, and I needed to work with her to prepare her for this experience. And she had certainly heard all the rumors throughout the market in the industry. And I asked her if she needed some assistance up there and she said, “No, no, I'll handle it. I got this.” But she wanted a lot of preparation, and we dove in for two solid weeks and we prepared. And we pushed every button there was to be pushed, and we did role-playing. We looked at every possible scenario, and she had more data than they could possibly imagine. John: She went up there. She did her job, she got what she asked for, she nailed it, and she didn't cry. And from that day forward, we came up with the title for the book and that's why it's called, No Fear. That's the idea. It's a little anecdotal, but the idea of no fear is that we don't go in in a fearless, crazy way. We go in a no-fear environment where we have more preparation on our path to ask. So, when we get to the point of asking, it works. The third letter in our three-letter sequence is the A. The hardest part of negotiation is the ask. All of what we've done here, every bit of mindset change, preparation, walking the path to get there, is meaningless unless at that point in time someone asks for something. Rhonda: Absolutely. Well, I am so excited to be able to dive into that a little bit deeper. We're just going to take a quick break and we'll come back and talk about, in detail, how do we ask, right, and how do we prepare for that ask. So, I know that both of you, John and Nicole, have shared some really great tips around negotiating and I want to explore that further in just a second.   But first, a reminder that today's show is sponsored by Courageous Contemplations. It is a great place for you to start if you are contemplating divorce. And as Nicole said, you can stay in that spot for months, sometimes even years, and this is going to give you a clear pathway to know what you need to know before you make that final decision on whether you're going to stay or whether you're going to go. So, with that, you can check out that Courageous Contemplation course, www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events.   So back to the show. So let's go ahead and dive a little bit deeper into the third key pillar that you talk about, which is ask. Give us some tips around how to do that. Nicole: I think that when you think of the path to ask, and obviously John gave a great example of how it works in the context of a business scenario, which everybody can relate to, and I think what happens is in a business scenario, sometimes women can come into that logically and unemotionally. But when you come into your personal relationships, just like men, we are all extremely emotional. I think it's fair to say that we really need to think about what we're experiencing, which is in some cases it can be traumatic, it can be sudden, it can be grief-stricken. And I think most of us if you're not the one that's initiating the divorce, you could be stuck in some of the stages of grief. And the first stage of grief, which I'm sure many have heard of is denial. And you certainly don't want to come to a negotiation table when you're stuck in denial, and you certainly don't want to go into a negotiation table when you're in the second stage of grief, which is anger. You really want to get through those first stages of grief. However, you need to work through those stages of grief, before you approach the bargaining table. Nicole: But I think once you reach the third stage of grief where you're bargaining, a woman has already worked through, as far as I'm concerned, this is hard to say, but women go through hurt. You might cry when you realize something's not changing. Something's not changing and then you have to come through the hope. I think all women work through the hope that “Oh, this can change.” And then they ride that wave for a while. And then there's this sad day when you ... and that's denial for me. And then you get to this stage someday where you realize, “Oh okay, this isn't going to change.” And then you might get angry, and you get angry at the other person. You guys might fight and battle, and that could have led to months or years in a relationship, right, Rhonda? So, it's like you’ve got years of this, and that could be that second stage where you're working through just being angry with someone because they're not working with you. And how could they be doing this to you? And again, it's that you statement. How could you do this to me? Nicole: And instead of coming back to the place of power and self advocacy and control, which women are not necessarily good at, and that's something we say is critical to the path to ask, as a woman to come to this place of bargaining and not a place of not complacency or not caring, sometimes women go straight from denial and anger to, I don't care, which is a defense mechanism. And so, you need to come back from that to a place of no, self-advocacy. I care enough to care enough about me and you so that we can move through this. And that bargaining approach, coming to that table at that stage, that's when you're ready to start with the path to ask. Rhonda: Well, and I have ... The place of complacency, I want to address that for just a minute, because how I see that manifest with the women that are in the early stages of divorce is, “Oh, everything's going to be amicable. He said he's going to give me this. He said he's going to do this.” So they kind of check out, right? It's from a place of really believing that the other person has their best interest in mind, but I think women are doing a disservice to themselves if they stay in that spot, because I will say all day long, “Hey, if this thing ends up being amicable and you guys are in a spot where it really does go smoothly, I will be the first person to celebrate with you. However, my experience tells me that that isn't always the case. And so, we're going to plan as if…” Right? I want them to be involved. I don't want them to be complacent. I want them asking those questions. I want them to have the right mindset. I want them to be prepared, and they're going to be in a better spot to have those conversations. Nicole: Absolutely. And I think people ... Part of the preparation process that we're talking about, especially something specific with divorce is preparing yourself that you're going to have feelings even when you get to the bargaining table, even if you've thought you've worked through this already. And so, I want John to be able to speak to that a little bit, which is you're still working through stages of grief. I mean be prepared for the fact that you're going to feel something, and you may still feel like a great loss and a great sadness. And John, can you speak to that a little bit in terms of the path to ask and stages of grief? John: Absolutely. I think it's crucial when you're at this stage going through the various stages of grief, you're in this theoretical bargaining phase. And one thing that is so crucial, I believe, for women to be conscious of is this is a highly emotional life-changing, sea changing experience you're going through right now. It is crucial you stay in the process, stay in the process. We're talking about MPA here. We've asked you to adjust your mindset. We've asked you to do a deep dive of preparation, which you're probably exceedingly good at. So, you've got a lot going on. You are ready; you are on the path to ask; and, you're at that point where things are now going back and forth and there's give and there's take, and it's easy to jump out of the process because you just want it to be over. The hard part of the final part of the path to ask is staying in your bracket. We call it that because as Nicole mentioned earlier, in preparation, we create these bracketized offers and we use the phrase bracketized to emphasize that you're not going to drift out of your bracket. You've created what makes sense. I have a great offer; I have a realistic offer; I have a fallback offer, but I'm not leaving that bracket. I'm not saying okay at the final minute just because I want to go home and make this stop. John: Same thing is true in a business negotiation except multiplied by 1,000 here because of the extreme emotional environment that we're dealing with. It's the same basic desire to just get over it because I don't want to do this in the first place. It's crucial to stay in that process because if you changed your mindset, if you fortified yourself with great preparation. You are ready and you are okay. You're ready to have a great outcome and manage this relationship forward. At that point, the asking becomes much, much easier. But the key recommendation for me is number one, staying in the process, and number two, this is a criticism, sometimes women are guilty of, don't overthink it. John: Now, we know that there's a lot going on here. There's a lot of missiles flying through the air. If you can stay in your process and don't overthink what the downstream implications can be, even though some of that is absolutely crucial, I think I've observed certainly with women in my life, the overthinking, or the ability to overthink themselves out of what's right, and then a disagreement with themselves down the road. “Why didn't I do that?” I see it all the time with women in business, who overthink the desire to increase their compensation in their particular job. They've overthought it so much, they've talked themselves in and out of it to a point where they won't get to the point of asking. So many times women are guilty of that. Again, my two, stay in the process, don't overthink. Rhonda: One of the things ... and I love that. One of the things I wrote down, John, was to set realistic expectations for the people that they're working with. And what I mean by that is I think a lot of times through the divorce process, women are expecting their attorneys, in particular, to do the negotiating for them. And I don't know that that's a realistic expectation. There may be times when the attorney will negotiate, but the women are really the ones who need to do all of the things that we talked about and come to the table prepared. And a lot of times I'm working with them behind the scenes to help prepare them to come to the table and have those conversations. So, I wouldn't say that they have to do it on their own, but I would say, setting those realistic expectations for the attorney that they're working with, for their financial expert, even with their therapist. Those are the three core professions that I feel like should come and surround you if you're going through divorce, right, at minimum, because you need this team of people. But you've got to set realistic expectations for them as well and know that the bulk of the responsibility will fall on you because you're the one who needs to really come to the table prepared. John: Exactly, Rhonda. And I would summarize that. I think you said it very, very well. I'd summarize that by saying don't outsource the expectations. The attorney, he or she is the go-between. They may be the mouthpiece. They may be the hired gun, so to speak, but they don't decide. You decide, and you utilize their strengths in the back and forth. And sometimes it can get a little rough but don't outsize your own expectations. You own that. Rhonda: That is a tweetable quote right there, John. Yes. Don't outsource the expectations. Absolutely. And I think it comes with being able to communicate those expectations, which is having those assertive conversations that Nicole, you were alluding to those I statements, right, and just making sure that you can ... I always say divorce is two things. It's managing risk and managing expectations. And if you can do those two things, you are going to be able to navigate through a really challenging and difficult process as unscathed as possible. John: Absolutely. Rhonda: Oh my gosh, this has been so awesome. And I have to say that I think I'm going to have to go get your book because I'm looking forward to just really diving even a little bit deeper in some of these conversations. Nicole: Well, you’ll like that it's practical, Rhonda. It's a short read. We made it that way on purpose. And the reason we did that, John and I are coming from a collaboration from a male/female perspective obviously, our partnership in writing this book together and setting it forth. But I think that we made it practical and referenceable, so you'll pick it up again and again and kind of plug yourself into the arrows and the process, as we call it. And the reason is because we hope that you create a habit of negotiation and we actually hope that you take this forth as a new tool, and it's something we intentionally avoided, Rhonda, telling you, do it this way, go about it this way, do this. It's much more about giving you the process, the sequence, and the tool so you can plug yourself into it and bring the magnificence of you. Like John said, don't outsource that, own it. Bring you, based and grounded in humility and confidence and self-advocacy and self-love on to that place of healing, and plug yourself into a proven process that's simple and repeatable and hit the bargaining table ready. I mean the book is meant to be used - not theory. It's practical. So we love hearing that you're going to pick it up. We hope it empowers you and takes you forward. Rhonda: Yeah. Absolutely. Oh my goodness, this is so great. I think it's, again, it's such a great topic. But as we kind of, as I say, land the plane, right, during our time together, I first want to just say thank you so much for sharing your brilliance, your expertise, your passion, your candidness, your vulnerability with my audience. Any final thoughts, closing remarks, as we kind of wrap up our time together? John: I'd just like to say one quick thing and then I'll hand it off to my partner here. I think part of this experience too, we end the book at a place where we realize women are tremendous life coaches to people in their life, both young and old, but for the young people coming up, particularly women mentoring boys, emphasize how important it is for them to evolve to a point where they eventually in their life, they need to respect girls and absolutely come from a place of decency and respect and build your life, your business life, your personal life with that in mind. I think we can do better there as a society, and it is getting better. I observe it all the time, but we can continue to do better. Nicole: I love how ... and John has been saying that since the beginning, Rhonda. I'm a mother of boys and I love knowing that we can have that invitation and receive it and see it forth, as well, as women. As somebody who has been through trauma and somebody who has survived trauma and been through loss and come out on the other side through positive healing, even exited people from the workplace, right, Rhonda, and I have some of those people I have fired become Facebook friends. How do you move forth from things whole? And so I'm going to give you my favorite quote, which I live by and I'm going to hope that it helps every woman that you're working with come to this place, which is, “Presence is more important than just being present. And I think that if a woman thinks of her presence, the power of her presence, the brightness of her presence, the vision and the dream of what she sets forth, how does she project love and light, and how can she move forth whole? What does she need to do to replenish her presence?” Nicole: And if she can do that, if she can find the ways, whatever it takes to fill her soul cup and replenish her presence, she shall be whole. And she shall go forth and she shall help another soul. And I think that every woman, no matter how much she's hurting right now, she just regards her presence, honors her presence, and I believe good God bless Louise Hay, what you feel you can heal. Feel it. Honor your feelings. Even if you're speaking to someone your truth, like I said in a negotiation and you happen to cry, you know what, God bless it. Let somebody see how you feel, but make sure it's coming from love, not anger, and honor your presence and move forward. And I would leave a woman with that. Rhonda: I love that. I would like to give a huge thank you to Nicole and John for being our guests today. If you'd like to get in touch with them, feel free to check out their website, www.nofearnegotiation.com. We've also linked their bios and some additional resources and information in the show notes, so be sure to check that out. Today's episode has been sponsored by Courageous Contemplation, our online course. So if you find yourself contemplating divorce, I want you to check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of divorce conversations for women. I'd love to have you as part of the conversation. Simply comment on this episode. Drop us a review on iTunes or get involved anytime at www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. I'm Rhonda Noordyk and I help you know what you don't know about divorce. ________________________________________ Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today were Nicole Martin and John Tinghitella No Fear Negotiations for Women Nicole Martin is Chief Empowerment Officer and Founder of HRBoost, LLC, an HR Shared Services consulting firm based in Chicago, Illinois. Her business has been honored by multiple organizations including most recently as a 2017 Annual Awardee for Business Excellence by the Daily Herald Business Ledger, and a 2016 Enterprising Women of the Year Champion by Enterprising Women Magazine. A sought-after expert, her knowledge and advice have been featured in newspapers and magazines throughout the country. Recent publications in which she has been seen include Forbes.com, the Daily Herald Business Ledger, and Fast Company. Nicole has authored, PWN International Literary Award and #1 Amazon Best Seller, The Talent Emergency, the accompanying Talent Emergency Guidebook, The Human Side of Profitability, and The Power of Joy & Purpose. Nicole serves on Advisory Boards dedicated to Best & Brightest® Companies to Work For, Social Service in the community and Women in Business. To learn more about Nicole, go to www.hrboost.com or www.nicolemartin.live  nmartin@hrboost.com | (847) 736-5085 x 103 ____________________ John's career has taken him from the trenches of sales management, to the corner office, to owning his own business so he can realize his vision for success. A self-described "sales guy," he combines a strong sense for the creative solution with a keen focus on building relationships. Collaborative negotiation is his lifelong passion. He's observed first-hand the unfairness of how much women contribute versus the rewards…which typically go to men. His negotiation message is the culmination of a career spent learning, applying, adapting, and giving back. johnt@rvdesigner.com | (845) 313-7747 ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the Founder & CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!  

In today's episode, we discuss: Get out of the muck with a plan. I use a formula that I call 15-30-90-18. Confidence is not a trait; it's a skill. We get out of difficult situations by having the confidence that we can. Confidence is triggered by taking a step, then another, then another. Progress creates confidence. Just. Take. One. Step. Look for happiness in the simple things of everyday life while dealing with the challenges of divorce, single motherhood, dealing with the comparison trap. Confidence is a Skill, Not a Trait Rhonda: Welcome to this episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. There is one common thread facing every woman that is going through or contemplating divorce. You don't know what you don't know, right. So I want to make sure that we are asking the tough questions to get you the answers that you need. In today's episode, we are going to dive into the topic of confidence. This episode is sponsored by the Women's Financial Wellness Center online course. Be sure to check out our website under the events tab. I'm joined today by my friend Aleta Norris. She is not only the co-founder of Living as a Leader, but she's also the founder of a new women's community called Women Who Spark to learn more about Aleta. We have linked her website and LinkedIn bio in the show notes, so be sure to check those out. So, Aleta, I want to thank you for joining us today. Aleta: Well thanks for having me, Rhonda. Rhonda: So I want to start by saying and essentially asking a question. So for the women that are listening that are facing a divorce, certainly confidence is a big part of the journey. So what is one thing that you would want them to know about confidence? Aleta: Well, so first of all, you're right, Rhonda. Confidence is a really significant element in a divorce experience. And I've scarcely met a woman, myself included, who has navigated divorce, who hasn't taken a hit to her confidence. And it's a good time to remind women that confidence is not something that you either have or don't have. It's not a trait. Confidence is, in fact, a skill and it's something that we can develop over time. We can build strength in our confidence just as we can build strength in our body by waking up every day and moving our body and exercising our body. Aleta: Confidence is very similar. If we wake up every day and we take some kind of step or some kind of action and then the next day we take another step and the next day we take another step. What we'll find is that progress that we're making will help us begin to either strengthen or regain some of the confidence that we're certainly predictably going to lose when we go through a life experience as traumatic as a divorce. Rhonda: Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Well, and I think there are so many great opportunities for us in our lives where we can look back and say, "Oh my gosh, wow, how did I get to this point?" Right. Aleta: Right. Rhonda: It isn't something that happens overnight. And I remember a couple of years ago I ran across a formula that was talking about confidence and it said, "Knowledge + Experience = Confidence. Knowledge plus experience equals confidence." And to your point it's like, Hey, you know what? There is certainly the knowledge piece or the theory behind certain things and then there's actually putting it into practice. And the confidence is certainly no different, especially for women that either hasn't gone through a divorce before or this divorce that they're facing is different than any of the previous ones. It's certainly important. Rhonda: So one of the things that you and I have talked about is just your own journey in going through this process. And I just think of you as a very confident person and to your point, it's not something we wake up and say, "Hey, I'm confident." It's a learned skill. And so thinking back to your situation and your divorce experience, share with us a little bit about what role confidence played in that for you? Aleta: Well, so first of all, it's really interesting, Rhonda, what you said is that you've always viewed me as a confident person, and we've known each other in the business community for a very long time. And one of the things that I'm becoming more and more aware of is just how many confident-looking women we interact with on a regular basis who are in fact are struggling with their confidence. And we struggle with confidence in a variety of ways. One might be that simply, innately who we are as a person, we're more of a timid, tentative woman than others might be. Right. And then some of us, our confidence takes a hit when we experience something like divorce and I know a lot of women as well. And, and I think this probably pertains to all of us where we have confidence in some areas of our life, every single day. Rhonda: Mm-hmm Aleta: In other areas of our lives where we struggle with confidence because to your point, maybe we don't have as much knowledge in that particular area or as much experience. When I went through my two divorces, not just one. I've gone through two divorces, both of them very unfortunate and certainly not ever expected. What became really evident to me is that while I remained confident as a businesswoman, I really struggled with confidence as a woman, as a mother, as head of my household. And it's very easy to get caught up in kind of a rabbit hole of negativity or insecurity where we wake up every day and suddenly everybody all around us is a happy, intact family. Aleta: And it took me a long time to work my way to a place of confidence as a family, you know, as the leader of my family, where I was able to step away from some of the comparison trap and I was able to step away from every day waking up, feeling disappointed in myself. And afraid of the future. And certainly financial fear was a really big part of my lack of confidence. So that confidence in one part of my life and my business co-existed every day with my kind of flailing confidence on the personal side of my life. And fortunately, it didn't last forever, but wow. That divorce season that is really a tough one to get through. Rhonda: Mm-hmm. Well, I like what you mentioned because I think a lot of times we like to lump it together to say, well, I'm not confident in this area. So, therefore, I'm not confident. But that's not necessarily true. As you experienced man, you're over on the business side confident. Why? Because you know, you've got the experience, you're in your wheelhouse, you've got people that believe in. And then you're on this uncharted territory where you're feeling unsettled and whatever. Right? And so if you're listening to the podcast on confidence, I want to give you permission to say, first of all, it's normal to have things that are going to challenge your confidence along the way, number one. Number two, it doesn't mean that you're not a confident person. It just may mean that for the season you have some challenges. Rhonda: And also, let's draw on the strength of those areas where we say, "Hey, I'm confident in this area. Man, are there things that I'm doing in my business, personal, professional life, whatever it is that I can draw on to pull into these other areas." Because I mean, as you mentioned, confidence is a skill, right? So it doesn't mean that we have to leave those skills at the door. Just because now we walked through the door at home. Right? Aleta: Right. Oh yeah, absolutely. Rhonda: Yeah. So I think that's really powerful and the confidence piece being, a skilled trade I think is super important. I think the other component of that, which really ties nicely into the community and the tribe that you're building, which is women who spark. It's okay, well where can you surround yourself with people that are going to believe in you that are going to be positive, that are going to love on you in the midst of a really challenging time and making those choices to be around the people that can help you. Aleta: Right? Absolutely. And every day at least one or two women in the Women Who Spark Facebook community and if anybody's interested, Women Who Spark Tribe is a Facebook community where women can come and join together to be mutually supportive, encouraging, positive, inspiring, and on almost a daily basis someone in the community says, "I feel so much better since I've been a part of this community." Because every day when somebody is vulnerable enough to share in one of their comments, or even in a unique post. To share that they're struggling with something or they're afraid of something. Aleta: Boy, I'll tell you these other women in the tribe, they just come out like mama bears. And embrace this woman who's needing encouragement. And I would reinforce to anybody who's perhaps going through a season that has affected their level of confidence that you are not alone. Every single one of us, we're struggling with something. We have fear of something. It's different for each one of us, but we're not alone. And that's what's so wonderful about kind of forming together who your people are going to be. Who are you going to turn to, to be your support team when you're crossing your desert. When it's your turn right to do the desert crossing. And we need people who believe in us. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think the one thing that always makes me really sad is for the women that feel like they have to do life alone or they have to walk through a divorce alone. And it's just, they don't have to, you can dial in the level of support that you need. I mean, I have seen and believe that every woman should have a core team of people. It should be the family law attorney, the financial expert and a therapist. And then you'll have a lot of other great resources and people outside of that. But that's kind of that core nucleus of people. And that becomes three of the five probably people that you spend the most time with as you're going through a divorce, right? Because it is the season and so often I will say, well, if you want to decide that you want to travel this journey alone and that's your prerogative, just know that I'm here if and when you decide that you want help. Rhonda: When you know what's ahead and you know the pain that's ahead and you know the challenges and you know the questions and all that stuff, it's kind of like parenting, right? It's really hard to let them go knowing what's ahead for them. But then also, knowing, Hey, I'm here when you decide if and when you want help. So I think women a lot of times feel like they have to do stuff on their own, even though they have friends and they reach out. I still feel like there's this aspect of like, well I'll just figure it out. Which there's power in that, right? Yeah, we can figure it out. But what about the things that you don't even know that you should be asking? Right. That's where the real challenges lie. Aleta: Oh absolutely. And thank heavens you are here providing the service that you are because I don't care if a woman is in a marriage or not in a marriage or midlife or late life. One of the most common challenging areas of life that I continue to hear about from women is related to their finances. And so many women do not know some of the simplest ... We might even call them hacks, right? Or tricks or micro habits that they can weave into their life plan to be able to be on a, on a solid footing. And, and we need experts like you not only who know what you're doing, but who bring a demeanor to the situation that is a blend of empathy with pragmatic ideas and strategies to make progress in that area. Aleta: And when I was ... One of the things I recall going through my second divorce. I was 40 years old, I was in a very difficult financial situation because of, just a host of circumstances. And I went to meet with a financial planner. He happened to be a very wealthy, kind of midlife man. And here he was talking to me. I was a disaster and he reprimanded me for my recklessness and I'm already kind of out and down. The last thing I needed a professional kind of letting me have it for my lack of savvy at that stage of my life. Aleta: So I'm grateful. I'm grateful for all of these women that they have you with your professionalism and your demeanor to be able to help them navigate an area of their lives that they're probably not expert in. Rhonda: Yeah, I mean for sure. And to your point, it's like my goodness. I mean I think women are usually hard enough on themselves already with certain situations that yeah, that only makes it more difficult. Right. So, but I mean I think it's focusing on the knowledge because women make really good decisions when they have all of the information. And it's awesome to see as they kind of get through that and get their footing. And I always tell people it's like, yeah, one of the most important things, as you're going through a divorce, is a budget. And it's never sexy or glamorous because I mean it's not fun, but it helps answer all the what-if questions and helps you navigate through what's next. And so, I'm glad that you are certainly on the other side of that and can attest to. Yeah, there, there certainly will be some challenges along the way. Rhonda: So one of the things that I want to do is I know that you had mentioned that you have a formula for helping people and I want to just take a quick break and then we're going to come back and we're going to talk about your for real that you use called the 15, 30, 40, 18. And I can't wait to hear what that's all about. So stay tuned. Rhonda: So, but first before we hear from Aleta, I just want to take a moment and remind you that today's show is sponsored by Courageous Contemplation. If you're listening to this podcast and you are, gosh considering divorce but haven't maybe told anybody and you are just looking for some guidance and direction, be sure to check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. That course is designed to provide you with eight modules to help you navigate through all the questions you need. Should you stay or should you go? Rhonda: So back to the show. So Aleta, goodness, share with us this formula. I can't wait to hear what this is all about. Formula 15, 30, 90, 18 Aleta: So, this formula is going to sound like a lot of numbers because that's what it is, 15, 30, 90, 18. And let's work backward. So I love 18-month timeframes. I share it with anybody who's struggling with something. Or we might even look at a woman who wants to up-level an area of her life. And, and the first thing I like to start with is to look, 18 months from now, and put that date on your calendar, write it on stick notes. Keep it visible in front of you. So for example, right now, today is October 14th, 18 months from now is April 14th, 2021 and I call that the magical date because 18 months is a very comfortable amount of time to really turn things around. Aleta: So if you're in a bad season right now, and we're talking about divorce, 18 months from now you're going to be in a much better place as long as you are ready to start doing some work. So then the next number working backward is 90 and so 90 days is a really good framework for putting together a plan. So 90-day plans. So in the course of 18 months, we can run six 90 day plans. And I like to work with quarters, right? So we're right now we're in the fourth quarter of 2019. So what would be a really wonderful thing is if everybody had a plan for the fourth quarter of 2019. Here's what I want to accomplish during this 90-day stretch. And if I continue to build a 90-day plan and I do it over and over and over again, six times. Again, 18 months from now, I'm going to be on that magical, Oh my gosh, things really are better kind of a date. Aleta: So running a 90-day plan. Now, 90 days is a long time to monitor goal accomplishments. So again, working backward, our next number is 30. And so 30 days is what I like to look at relative to tracking goals. So financially we might say, well, each quarter what I'd like to be able to achieve financially is to pay down this much debt and put away this much more in my investments in. And so now when I look 30 days, I can determine and I, in fact, achieving my goals in monthly increments. Did I pay off all my credit cards? Did I stay within my means? Did I stick to my monthly budget? Did I just push the envelope a bit on what I could put into my savings? And was this a successful month? Aleta: So the 30 days is goal tracking. The 90 days is the planning and the 18 is the magical month or the magical date. So then coming all the way back to our first number, which is 15, 15 is that daily planning. And so the habit of planning either the beginning of your day, maybe during your morning routine or at the end of your day. Let's call that during your evening routine, can you get out your to-do list or get out your journal or chuck your paperwork or look at your calendar and make sure that you are following the goals that you have set for yourself. And because Rhonda you help women with the financial aspect of their life. Every single day we can sit down and say, "Okay, what do I need to remind myself of for today? I'm going to take a lunch to work. I'm not going to go out for lunch as much as I want to walk by a store and wander in to buy something, I'm not going to let myself because I've got goals to meet for the month so that I can meet my 90-day plan. So that 18 months from now I'm not feeling the same stress and anxiety or dissatisfaction that I'm feeling right now." Aleta: So in a nutshell, that's the plan and that's what I did. And every 18 months, every year and a half to two years, I was making really nice progress. But I needed to do that when I was in the worst of my financial challenges. Following two back to back divorces. I even said no on a regular basis. I said no to my kids. They said, "Mom, can we swing through McDonald's and just get a burger and fries?" And I said, "No we can't." Because if I do that then it's going to knock me off-plan. We've got less expensive things to eat at home, in the cupboard. So that's what we're going to do. Rhonda: Yeah. Aleta: The plan helps you say no to things. Rhonda: Well and I love this because here's the thing, if we take a look at this related to the divorce process, we know that the national average of how long it takes to go through the divorce process is 12 months. Now certainly, there are going to be some that are more than that. There are going to be some that are less than that. But on average it's about a year. And I think that it's hard to put ... I mean, a year seems like a long time when you're in that spot. As those 18 months. However, if we looked at it saying, okay, 18 months from now, theoretically I should be done with this process. Rhonda: So what do I want to do in my next six 90 day cycles? I love that because I think that ... Because even when you said 18 right, we started with the 18 months. I felt this sense of heaviness. Like, okay. And I think people have a hard time staying focused for that long. I mean, you know, and so to break it down into these 90-day cycles and then break it down and break it down from there just seems a lot more doable. And I think it'll help them to see the progress in the 90 days, celebrate it, tweak, adjust, and then move on. Yeah, energetically that just feels so much better. Aleta: Well, and to your point, Rhonda, I know that some people are not wired for a process-oriented approach to navigating their way out of a difficult situation. But I'll tell you, I've not seen a situation, I'm 56 years old. I've had many friends go through a divorce. I have not seen a situation where friends of mine have painted a bright future for themselves by just waking up every day and getting through another day. Rhonda: Mm-mm Aleta: There has to be a plan. We as women, we have to step up and take control of our lives so that eventually 5 or 10 years in the future, we can look back and say, "Holy smokes, that was a tough time. But I did the work. I got myself back on track and look at me now, look at what a great place I'm in." And that does not happen by accident. Rhonda: Mm-mm. No, it doesn't. And kind of like to, you know, to the Mel Robbins, right philosophy of like, five, four, three, two, one. Get up and do it and take action because the action is what's going to help build momentum. It's going to create those new habits. And honestly, if women are really honest with themselves, this probably is going to be an opportunity for them to do a lot of things that they have always wanted to do. But they were either too afraid or didn't have the platform or felt bad about doing it or whatever. And this is going to give them an opportunity to say, "Okay, well, while vision boards are valuable and I think they're important. I think also having the tactical aspects of it is important as well." So this really gives the women that are listening, a really great formula for helping them navigate through. Rhonda: And I just look forward to seeing and hearing some of the stories of women that utilize this approach and where they're at 18 months from now. On the other set of divorce. Hopefully having some clarity, feeling focused. Oh that would make my day. Aleta: Yes, yeah. And you just mentioned a vision board, well 18 months that in this whole formula, that's simply the concept. That's the concept of I'm going to be in a better place as long as I do the work. I think it would be fantastic for women to build an 18 month vision board. Rhonda: Yep. Aleta: Relative to their life on the other side of divorce. What does it look like? And hopefully it has a lot of joy represented on the board. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Oh my goodness, this is so awesome. Well, as we wrap up our time together today, Aleta. I always like to end with two things. One is a client success story and then lastly is your favorite quote. So share with us a brief client success story that would really resonate with the women that are listening. Client Success Story Aleta: Well, one that I really am grateful about...for my client. Now I'm not a money expert like you are Rhonda, but I'm a money geek. I love, I just, I love accumulating money. I love not spending money. And I had a customer who in the midst of a number of things that she was struggling with, was really putting her head in the sand about her financial situation. And she had balances on about 10 credit cards and she was very stressed about it and also wasn't saving money as consistently as she needed to be. She was buying, you know, she was trying to buy some happiness and contentment. And so I said, "Okay, here's what we're going to do. We're going to spend as much time as we need to go through every single one of your credit cards. We're going to log your balances, your interest rates, the terms, and we're going to put together a plan." Aleta: And I spent about 90 minutes with her. I built her a spreadsheet and by the end of that call we had come up with the order in which those credit cards needed to be paid off. She needed to transfer some balances to some 0% cards and believe it or not. The 18 month timeframe is what she needed based on her income to be able to pay off every single credit card. Aleta: I'll tell you, her confidence skyrocketed from the beginning of that 90-minute phone call till the end and when she got on the call she may as well have been Eeyore. She was just so despondent about it and so ... And she was embarrassed and probably felt some shame for getting to where she was. At the end of the phone call. She was like a different person. Rhonda: That's awesome. Aleta: She was so excited. She had a plan and that was about four months ago and she is ahead of plan and you would know this as well as anyone. That one practice of getting a handle on what your financial situation actually specifically is. That helped her to add more joy to every other aspect of her life and everything got better because of one 90 minute planning session. Rhonda: Yeah, that's awesome. Well and again, like I said, earlier in the podcast, right? I mean women when they have the right information and support make really good decisions. And I love that you were able to help her navigate through some of that. And again, she saw, Hey, I've got the knowledge now of what to do. I have some experience in doing it, knowing that I also have somebody who's walking along with me and wow, look at it now. My confidence is soaring. So that's awesome. Rhonda: Well, I would like to thank you, Aleta, for being our guests today. If you'd like to touch base with her, check out her website and again, LinkedIn profile is going to be in the show notes. I know that she's got a lot of exciting things on her website as well. You can check out the Women Who Spark Facebook group if you haven't had a chance to do that yet, and she's also got a course that is launching as well. Rhonda: So today's show has been sponsored by Courageous Contemplation, our online course. So if you're contemplating divorce, please go ahead and check out the website at womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. I want to thank you for listening to this episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. I trust that you found our time together, inspirational, and you also left with a couple of really great practical things that you can apply immediately. Rhonda: I'd love to have you be part of the conversation. Simply comment on this episode. Drop us a review on iTunes or get involved with us anytime at my website at womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. I'm Rhonda Noordyk, and I hope you know what you don't know about divorce.   Contact Information About our Guest . . .  Aleta Norris Co-Founder of Living As A Leader Founder of Women Who Spark (414) 708-1472 aletanorris@gmail.com  Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube | Twitter Aleta Norris is the co-Founder of Living As A Leader, a national leadership training and coaching organization and the Founder of Women Who Spark, an organization dedicated to positivity and productivity of women. She has five adult children, a husband, and a Goldendoodle. Aleta connects with women, not because she has lived a model life, but because she has crossed a few deserts and waded through the muck. She is twice divorced and raised her kids for almost twenty years as a single mom. She is committed to helping women be the best they can be regardless of their life circumstances.   About our Host . . . Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI CEO The Women's Financial Wellness Center (262) 522-1502 rhonda@wfwcllc.com Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram | YouTube | Twitter Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call   Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course)   Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you!    

Rhonda NoordykCertified Women’s Leadership CoachCertified Professional SpeakerFounder & CEO, The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, LLCAdjunct Faculty at Waukesha County Technical College www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhondanoordyk/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womensfinancialwellnesscenter Rhonda Noordyk understands what it is like to be a female in a male-dominated industry. With over a decade in the financial industry, she speaks passionately about how to communicate assertively and establish clear boundaries. She shares her experience to help empower other women to also find their voice. After leaving the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, she found herself leaning on many of the skills and tools she mastered while in the financial industry. She brings a collaborative and consultative approach to helping women navigate through the financial maze of divorce. In 2018, she launched the Divorce Conversations for Women podcast. It is reaching thousands of women with a message of hope. In addition to being the Founder & CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. To bring her experience full circle, she teaches courses at Waukesha County Technical College. Rhonda has a bachelor’s degree from Carroll University, Waukesha, Wisconsin. She resides in Oconomowoc with her husband, Tim, and their three daughters. In this episode, we discuss: Working in finance, as one of the few women in the industry, and how she found a way to have the right conversations with men to bring awareness Getting clear and honest about her vision and how she wanted to help women The grieving spot she went through after leaving the corporate world Seeing the transformation of her clients and how she reaches a whole new audience with her podcast Being flexible with trends and how business changes Why she’s intentional about who she spends time with and the impact of that The retreat she attended earlier in the year and the two words that came to her that ultimately changed the direction of her business and personal life Great tips on how to simplify your business life

How do we create health? How do we stay healthy in our 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond? How can we take care of our health as we go through divorce? We don't have to accept changes that we start to experience in our bodies as manifestations of getting older. We can take action. We can take our path to optimal health and well-being as an iterative journey with learning and empowerment on the way. Dr. Kate Bayliss is a medical doctor who has worked in conventional medicine for over two decades. She completed a fellowship in Integrative Medicine (Dr. Weil's program at the University of Arizona), and a member of the Institute of Functional Medicine and American Association for Anti-aging Medicine. She loves working with both women and men that are interested in figuring out how they can better optimize their health. She’s currently focused on “whole person care” with an eye toward health creation and promoting well-being. There are many things you can do to help respond to stress in a healthier way. Get to the root cause and address them, rather than sticking to conventional medicine. Let’s all do it the natural way!   Mention the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and get a free 15-minute phone consultation.   In This Episode We Discuss: Philosophical differences between functional medicine and conventional medicine. Components of functional medicine. We don't have to accept changes that we start to experience in our 40's 50's and 60's as a manifestation of getting older. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. We can take action. What we put on our fork is the most important things in determining our health and well being. Food is medicine. There's no set formulation that we all should be doing this because everybody's experiences are different. Our path to optimal health and well-being is an iterative journey with learning and empowerment on the way. The physician of the future will give no medication, but will interest his (her) patients in the care of the human frame, diet and in the cause and prevention of disease. —Thomas Edison Avoid drugs whenever possible and be PRESENT in the way you take care of your health and your loved ones.   Resources Mentioned: Dr. Kate Bayliss Medical Doctor --- Visit The Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/our-supporters Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with The Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website at https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.comor grab a complimentary 30-minute consult at http://bit.ly/dashboardwfwc.

If you’re currently dealing with stress, the person you need to talk to the most is you - your unconscious. If you’re going through divorce or planning to get a divorce, ask yourself, talk to your unconscious: Am I really ready to get a divorce? How did I get myself here? What has led me to this event? Deborah Lukovich, the Executive Director of a fabulous nonprofit called Playworks that improves children's wellbeing in school through play, is also an expert in depth psychology. With 15 years of coaching and consulting experience, she helps others deeply connect with people while creating a safe space where they can reflect in a way that’s required for real professional, personal and spiritual growth through depth psychology. Communicating with our own minds is very important. Most people don’t know how to communicate with that part of their mind that controls automatic behaviors, urges, emotions, and habits. Don’t you wonder why we sometimes end up doing the total opposite of the best rational thing to do in a situation? Whatever you're going through right now is exactly what you're supposed to be going through right now. You're exactly where you're supposed to be because there's a lesson for you to learn about yourself. That will be a major insight helping you have healthier relationships in life.   Deborah Lukovich offers a monthly workshop at Elle Studio + Wellness. She offers a 30-minute free consultation and 45% off for the first session ($75) for Divorce Conversations for Women listeners!   In This Episode We Discuss: What Depth Psychology is all about. Depth Psychology concepts. Learn how to unravel some very very deep-seated patterns and belief that are not necessarily negative but have stopped working for us. A new perspective and context for the difficult journey of divorce. How to tap into your unconscious wisdom. What your unconscious mind is telling you. It all starts with getting it out onto paper via journaling, drawing, poetry. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. You're not ready to get a divorce until you unravel all those emotional patterns that contributed to it not working out. Romantic attraction is very mysterious but once you understand this, it can actually be beautiful. When you change, somebody else doesn't like it unless they're changing too.   “Every encounter where there is sexual attraction, no matter how short or long, offers a kind of spiritual curriculum where the objective is to learn and take responsibility for our your own development instead of projecting it onto our romantic partner in the way of expectations that are impossible to meet.”   Resources Mentioned: Deborah Lukovich Executive Director of Playworks - https://www.playworks.org/wisconsin/about/staff/ 414-803-3229|dlukovich@gmail.com Website: www.deborah-alinea.com --- Visit The Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/our-supporters Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with The Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website at https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.comor grab a complimentary 30-minute consult at http://bit.ly/dashboardwfwc.

For thousand of years, women's value in society is more seen as caretakers. We were trained to believe that our role should be what society dictates and expects us to be. These expectations prevent us from developing a relationship with our inner self, creating the mindset and fear that people might view us as selfish or self-centered when we put ourselves first before others and everything else. Dr. Dianne Garrison is a psychologist and a Certified Feminine Power Coach and Facilitator. She has always been passionate when it comes to issues regarding women, specially with women experiencing divorce. She uses her signature method “The Full Power Process" to empower women and help them find their own inner strength. In this episode, Dr. Garrison teaches us methods of empowerment, learning to listen to our own wisdom & intuition, and becoming your own best friend. She reminds us that we have what we need when we are mindful of our senses and trust our feelings. Too many times we rely heavily on others’ information and knowledge but when we learn to sit, stay still, be quiet and listen we'll find incredible answers within us. Mention the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and get a FREE 30-minute discovery session with Dr. Garrison to clarify your growth needs and what’s stopping you from making progress. In This Episode We Discuss: The challenges of the divorce process. Re-programming your tough self-blaming mindset. Being strong and finding your voice. How to turn to your inner wisdom. Creating a happy and fulfilling life. Essential practices to become your own best form. Mindshifting through prayer, meditation, journaling. Breaking societal expectations and norms. Leaning on other people for support is okay but learn to trust your own wisdom. How to develop a deeper relationship with yourself. “This is your divorce and you have a voice. There’s an expert in the legal process, but you’re the only expert of your own.”       “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha Resources Mentioned: The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: Live Them and Reach Your Potential by John Maxwell Diane Garrison, Ph.D. info@lakecountrywellnessandcounseling.com Lake Wellness and Counseling Website 262-547-9673 Facebook   --- Visit The Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/our-supporters Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with The Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website at https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.comor grab a complimentary 30-minute consult at http://bit.ly/dashboardwfwc.

Oftentimes, couples planning to divorce search for ways to end their marriage without having to go through litigation. Not all divorces have to go through the court. Divorce can be resolved through informal negotiations between you and your husband, attorney and mediator. Lori Brandon is a PACE Registered Paralegal through the National Federation of Paralegal Associations, a Minnesota Certified Paralegal, and is listed on the Minnesota Supreme Court Roster of Qualified Providers for Alternative Dispute Resolution services. Lori has been helping people navigate family court matters since 1991, and her diverse experience includes working many years for the Minnesota Judicial Branch. In this episode, Lori shows us how ADR Mediation offers solutions or compromises without having to worry about the judges. Offering people a more creative course of action. Opting to go for Alternative Dispute Resolution, doesn't mean it's going to solve every problem in a couple of hours. But it will definitely help purge gaps and find more clarity in order to make better decisions. Receive 50% off Lori’s regular hourly rate for mediation when you mention the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast.   In This Episode We Discuss: How effective Alternative Dispute Resolution Mediation is The Advantages of utilizing ADR, especially Mediation Strategies and advice on how to mend issues regarding mediation Strategies to prepare for mediation Always be ready to listen to possible solutions Have an open mind Adhere to the facts. Women who focus more on the facts are much stronger than those who don’t. Learn to identify and gather information Helpful questions to ask before selecting a provider Mediation can help people save money Experience matters (for mediators) but not as important as style Lori shares a success story from one of her clients   “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein   When things are challenging, don’t feel hopeless. There’s always a silver lining and opportunities to do new things. Difficulty always lead to better days!   Resources: Lori Brandon, RP®, MnCP Mediator & Paralegal   Metro Law and Mediation 5402 Parkdale Drive, Suite 100 Minneapolis, MN 55416   Office: 612.548.4453 Direct: 612.361.2226 Fax: 800.993.2318   lori@metroattorneymn.com www.metroattorneymn.com   --- Visit The Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/our-supporters Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with The Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website at https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.comor grab a complimentary 30-minute consult at http://bit.ly/dashboardwfwc.

For a divorced woman experiencing loss, and perhaps on her way to losing the confidence she once had, enlightenment is necessary. Throughout my conversation with Rebecca, I learned that we have our own identity, and that we are powerful. I was reminded that we are all significant and that our style matters. Our inner and outer beauty, indeed, needs an investment, and for it to grow, we need to take action by opening ourselves to new styles and embracing it. In this episode, Rebecca and I discuss: What to wear during the different milestones coming in our life What to wear in court Confidence as it relates to discovering personal style Why appearance matters How our confidence can strongly be influenced by what we wear How to dress in different occasions What women should have in their closet based on their fashion style and budget How women can own their significance when they feel different types of emotions Listen to this podcast as we reveal how to empower yourself through style. Always keep in mind that, "what we wear really makes an emotional impact on how we feel." - Rebecca Sheperd Rebecca is a really amazing stylist who shares the same goal as me by helping women develop confidence through styling. You can reach her at https://rebeccasheperd.cabionline.com. Mention the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and get a free one-hour closet consultation. Resources Mentioned: Tapping Into Your Inner Beauty: Let it Shine From Within Rebecca’s Website   --- Visit The Women's Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/our-supporters   Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with The Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website at https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult at http://bit.ly/dashboardwfwc.

I have worked with a lot of clients throughout the years. But working with women has always been special for me. And women who are going through divorce need more support, especially when it comes to finances. Which is why I have given birth to this podcast. It is to be the go-to resource for increasing financial clarity for women going through divorce. With this podcast, I want to cover everything from the practical side, such as financial wellness, questions to ask lawyers, increasing cash flow, to the emotional side, such as maintaining creativity at work and redefining your life’s purpose. Let this podcast be a support to women who are going through this tough time and help them make wise decisions. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with The Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website at https://www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult at http://bit.ly/dashboardwfwc.