Podcast appearances and mentions of Eddie Murphy

“Look what they eye unearthed,” leaning into the tip of my ear with the warmth and closeness of the coming waves, high tide approaching in the waning moon. “More secrets.” I replied. It was a question but also a statement— there was never such as this the luminescent trace of the glowing lava that was his force and might that I could not see for miles before he would even wander— first in twinkling stars and then later the wind itself and the birds, and then beneath the waves, like the quaking shake of a mighty oak anchored elsewhere and tied to the sea. “So you know.” I was hoping he would kill me before the next time I had to ever really know anything. He was the subject, and the predicate The wrong done, and the justice She was the pride and the prejudice But Judas brings the law Did you look in the box? No, I– [The Box Is The Box] –No, I haven't. Nearly three nights ago, a mysterious box arrived on the doorstep of an equally mysterious writer, who spends their time in isolation due to the often unannounced arrival of various ghosts, spirits, time travelers, and other figures by instant teleportation and other magical forms of transportation into their shabby New York apartment. Some of ya'll got so many air wick plug ins and scentci wax melts you don't know you smell like booboo. It's an illusion. You leave your house, You smell like booboo. I promise. Oh, God, I think I need a drink. Are you alright? Let me just–sit down for a second. Of course. My God. What's wrong. Look, i'm not supposed to say anything about this but. What's wrong? It's nothing, I'm just–I'm in a song. …what? A song! Is that all?! You don't understand. It's not a normal kind of song. It's– [takes a puff of inhaler] You wouldn't understand. Well what's so wrong about being in a song? Its not – a regular song–and it's not [gasping] finished! I still kind of wanted to be a comedian–but I knew I wasn't funny in the way that made sense to keep going and stand up there. I was still writing comedy, but I didn't know how to take myself out of it–the truth was, I was in a lot of pain. A lot of emotional pain that was becoming physical–and I didn't know what to do about it to break the barrier of nervousness and blank slate state of feeling the audience's perceptions of me more overwhelmingly than ever feeling myself. look at this song. I know huh. It's purple. Every time. It is purple. And what is that. Like a muted trombone? IS THAT A TROMBONE? Or a tuba? No, it has to be a trombone…becasue you can hear it slide– And that's what that sound is. What a sneaky rabbit. Super sneaky rabbit. So if i can see all this, I'm almost certainly sure the motorcycles outside and the slamming doors are meant to murder me. I'm sure that's what it is. You ever notice how being broke in New York makes you a bad person? Like, if you're broke, you're just automatically shitty. I never meant to be in New York broke. I never meant to be in New York, But I certainly never meant to be here and be poor, Poor in New York? Automatically a shitty person. Despite how you act. You can be a rich piece of shit— But the status is automatically “You got dough? Oh, alright. Carry on” That's the attitude in New York City. Crap people get by cause they got their hands on some money and the rules in New York say it doesn't really matter how you come by it, As long as you come by it. There's no real rules or real laws to it— Just “Get the money” Well god damn. This makes me nervous. I'm an artist. I've tried everything. I didn't mean to be the automatic enemy here. Of course not. But New York is a terrifying place to me, now, Cause I realized I can be a very sweet, very humble, very honest person— And that kind of shit doesn't matter here, really. It brings you no respect to be decent. It's about the money. So I'm a musician— which in New York also makes me like, Automatically not special, And I'm trying to just be a musician, and so naturally, I'm broke. Like broke in half. Like all my bills are late. But music is my solace. So I'm listening to music, And I'm listening to a song that is so beautiful, that I start to cry. The first time I heard it, it made me cry And I'm listening to it over, and it made me cry And it's so beautiful, and God is so beautiful And look at what God did, So I'm crying, And I don't even know what it is about the beauty of it that's making me cry, But it's making me cry, And New York hears me crying And New York goes “I'll give you something to cry about” And I open my email And there's a bill from my landlord reminding me how often I'm talked about due to my late payments— And I'm realizing I've been here two years and I still don't have any money, Even though I've been trying and trying And trying So now I'm crying for other reasons. Thanks a lot, New York. “I'll give you something to cry about” So I did. If there's anything worse than being black in a city that hates blacks— It's being broke in a city that hates broke people. So I haven't spent any money in awhile. Not even on little things, or things I need. I just stay inside, and work, and think And try and really try To figure out how to make money Without having any, or spending any. Cause you can have it, and spend it, but it's always a gamble. Maybe all I needed was a good cry. But now it's not for the right reasons I'm not crying cause something is so beautiful and look at what God did I'm crying because of what I'm sure is just the devil I'm crying for the wrong things Not because of something that's so very beautiful But because of something that's so very ugly With just a wave of the hand And the flick of each finger as it rolls into a crisp closed palm, A flick of birds fell to the ground, bursting with caws Below his stance, and in a flutter of feathers and wings, The evil master, unmoved and untouched, Untouchable in his weight and glory, simply only even mildly and barely smirks at all. He has defeated all and still somehow, not won. Some say it's sure to come, the thing that wants and gathers ties; Some say surely it is yet but withered and then sure again will come It has, five times, and barely waded, Waking in the midsts of my pure eye, The morning light and fog, aye? Ye, they remembers none but our Art, And I'm bound as sure by wing and force Is you to dozens of masses, And ships having sailed but one, Which I have flourished and kept And stocked with these, the masses And yea having spade, and having friends And having honor, there was none past kept and mine, sured; And wicked may as wicked be but evil none truer thou nones't had yet pured, and muted and gathered, I have, And woken and laid and barren and truths do'st tied, And there have been shooken and wait, And m faire'd and barred here, and hereforth My duty it is to forward, forward, my shallows For my shadow, For my golden hour has shined and now you, These caged shall fly, And these thoughts shall sing, And these hour conspired to miss my time daily, And these things, beytraying that— There have no times at all, These walls in holy temples kept, swaying and cadences, and wearing, and weary, And foreign and ayered, aye— and armored. And he, you, does not wish to know but also has known— and does not wish to see, but he, too has blinded, and does not wish to betray, and yet has been crowned, made with guilt and also Shattered, as it was, And shatters, as it came, the wave o'er all us and tide sinking under, and caves and rebels and heart laid bare to surf not suffer, Nor cap nor keeping, nor tied nor honor, No, honor her; No honor came and I have tied also, this tie to mine, and another, and another and another Now forward. Forward! Forward! Damn, Conan's monologues he going deep. Yeah, I guess. He's fine, right? Look, you don't need this. Just promise me. I am sorry. Mr Jimmy has it good, too good Little sister doesn't have a heart. But didn't know it Mister music made it in the industry, too hat Mister rager had a sip at dinner It was all dramatic Stars went falling Crashing down and All it is Ms. Martha Is mismanagement of energy All it is, Ms. Margret is a magnet And it hasn't happened badly since I had a handle on it But I still get sick of madness And I still get sick with city sickness Still, forget the dancer I was sitting on the show, In the audience With my mother, Oh the models, Dozens of them Blondes and ballet buns, the brunettes I was just a lost cause And I wanted it all, the tux and the bow tie I wanted you gone so I looked at it harder Until It became nothing but Clouds in the sky You were stardust I'm a comet Here comes crashing, Had to find the progress report Then I lost it Soggy in the sideways rain It was days and days Do you promise? That's a concept? Do you promise God will be alright, Cause I came running Sent them under cover Sent the men a message Send the man a hammer Sitting in a hammock No one homes the hostile If you don't have anything nice to say Then don't say anything at all And certainly don't come and go As often as you want to It's a game of control; you know The whites, when they still want to own you Somehow I'm all sub so honest, I just—wanted that But only for a man and never bow to another woman Even if on my honor I found us as equals And no one walks the earth as calmly As someone whose never had their lights out Or had their light put out Or their lights turned off Who are God now? Who's our God, man? Who's our God, Math. That's heavy weight, And if you want a biblical fate This is Fallon, And if you watch what you ate You cut calories And if you want the girl back Give it Californian And I'm not towrth much more Than the project housing, Or a handful of candy corn, Conan— But I phone in Oscars, Still no nuts for the rabbit, And if you wanted the bunker back— You can have it. I'm all hands down in a game of poker Heaven doesn't want it Gotta get drunk not once, but at all the goalposts, Gotta count one, not two, the show hosts Too few car parts Wicked, mazes, starfold, gazes Wishes, Martyred. (But pronounced mar-tired} V.O I think about jay Leno a lot. Lately, anyway. I don't know why. I like all the hosts. Somebody. Tell me why Dillon Francis looks like JD Vance. I think he's a clone. Tel me why I know who JD Vance is. They're clones. Tell me why. Back to the future here and now So. Where do you want to go? Anywhere but here. Anywhere but here is kind of far, are you sure you're up for it? Good one, doc Though head of the alumni chapter of the cult-within a cult—to which each African American cast member of Saturday night live is automatically inducted into— EDDIE MURPHY refuses to participate in the group's latest and most complicated ritual. Delivery. Uh, I didn't order any— Breadsticks. What. Breadsticks. I didn't order any— Just— The delivery man hands over the breadsticks. —take them. Oh…Kay. See ya. The delivery man reaches in and shuts the door himself. Uh… Lol is this the one where the mysterious breadsticks are delivered without ever being ordered, and then they end up being the best breadsticks in the world, but they don't know where they came from? Yes. I think so. Lol I bought a planner because so much I loved Joan Rivers, and I planned to fill it with all the places I should go— because keeping anything digital online was not only not working as far as remembering places I wanted or needed to be be, but it was dangerous, also. I was already being tracked, and I couldn't afford a new phone just yet. Eventually, but for now I was stuck to the same signal— which meant the same traces and the same trackers they had been limiting my under-the-radar mystique. As it were, somebody always knew where I was, and it was in the most unpleasant way so far—the only thing I really wandered was what made me so important anyway to begin with. I wasn't actually political in anyway, and still someone seemed to be trying to derail my life… or at least control it, neither of which was beneficial for me in the way that made sense. I wasn't having any fun, nor did I consider living indoors as payment— especially since indoors, there were also paid plants and stalkers, and now that I had begun to more meticulously document the things that were happening, it was easy to separate from delusions. I was actually being followed— but why? Either way, having a detailed. Calendar of places I could go, the ways to get there and even alternate functions within the same grid allowed more control than just staying in my apartment a sitting duck; that's how they were hurting me. They knew where I was— all the time, and it no longer made sense to fight it and try to make music under this kind of insane irritation; the music I was making wasn't the kind I wanted anyway, and whatever war they were fighting with m stark white girls motorcycles was simply not my war. I didn't have a war, and so there wasn't a fight, and so at the very least if I were going to be fucked with, it would have to be in public; that way I had more control to steer whatever was happening in my favor and collect the energy as mine instead of lost. I wasn't an insane person— but what had been happening at my apartment was insane, and so I left it with the understanding that these people worked and operated on a level of violence and ignorance I would never be able to comprehend; they were simply tools for the devil, which in any case, was always the lesser than God. However— because I was starting to figure out who I was, and that I had some sort of power, I knew that I was going to be attacked— because it seemed my power had at the very least not been figured out as to some kind of way to make somebody else money. I had been studying Michael Jackson and this was a key indication that the way his talent priovided a power which would be used as a service, he was very successful. His talent and training alone wouldn't have reapresented with such great reverence the ability to capture a global audience as such— but it was this power, almost as if it had been bottled up and altered, rebranded and sold and labeled with something everyone could not only love and understand, but by the hand of the media and its conglomerates, be hypnotized to worship, and this power simply put would not have been exactly what it was were it not for the eye of the media remaining in complete control of its distribution to the eyes and ears of the public. This thing which might have been the first of its kind but certainly not the last was in a sense model for modern superstardom— the live concert business had not sense much changed but built upon this super powered control of the masses by assimilation, spectacle, and of course the magic and illusion. But, and it it just so happened to perfectly brush up against my studies in esoteric knowledge that I happened to rub up against this— although nothing was of course by mere circumstance anymore, because whether or not I remained incognito was a wash, and I was being looked at by someone no matter what on the internet I did, or where I decided to go and in that sense was being fed these things, and yet with some Grace of God was allowed with it to be aligned with my own higher purpose in a way, I could observe that Michael Jackson was not in fact of course certainly just a dancer or singer or remarkable performer— he was truly a magician, and I was able to clearly recognize this language with with the energy that had used his vehicle for such a projection was speaking— not only this, I was able to clearly count out the markings and sigils and signs and symbols Michael was making in his movement; ancient arts, and magical symbols, traced so rapidly that it almost created a heat signature in a sense of the symbols that were being dictated, unknowing to the untrained eye. For the most part, I could only really assume that this is why these people were losing their minds— in his movements, Michael Jackson was literally carving ancient callings, glyphs and sigils I had so recently read about in magical studies that it was impossible not to laugh. This was in every sense of the word, ‘magic' but not in the normal way one assumes to be something unexplainable. Michael Jackson was casting spells to thousands of people at a time, in front of cameras and at high volume vibration, often times even implementing the use of light, color, and fire. These were not simple gatherings in mass for entertainment purposes— these were rituals, and in the modern day, still were or are— but I had noticed in a quick glimpse, from Michael Jackson 30 some odd years ago to Lady Gaga just having passed something like a week ago to an audience of the same size— that something was kind of wrong, now. The people had changed, and the specable had been done over and over, and the brainwashing of the masses had in a sense been almost complete— and so It wasn't some sense of confusion or unknowing the things that were happening to me in my own life and my own world— I too, was capable of these things, at that capacity, and had simply not been trained in the same sense of the ideal superstar, however— the things that were happening in my own life and in my own world were not difficult to grasp or understand— when one comes upon a power as such, it finds means to seek to control it and harness it for his own use and purposes. Perhaps it was the simple fact that in this way, in the way I get the dream had gone and the spectacle had been played out of the masses and the illusion was no longer as such— that the actual knowledge of distinct ancient wisdom that had been Michael Jackson's natural ability was distinguishable from that of Lady Gaga's training in the same formula, and that one did not equal the other, but in terms of business could equal to that as such as the masses had been manipulated to seek solace in these same things— and it was not illusion or grandiosity that I, even in my agingness, was still capable of these things; I had no doubt in my mind that I could sing and dance for two hours to audiences of hundreds of thousands— but this was not the question for the business or the media— the question was, would hundreds of thousands pay to see me, or rather— who was willing to front the means to hypnotize hundreds of people to become aware of me so that they would do such a thing. My talent and capabilities were undeniable— but my markatability might have been in question, because it was no longer simply a matter or chance or luck: the people chosen to figure such spectacle were chosen, hand selected and well trained to become media conglomerate superstars, even regardless of talent; perhaps this itself was the key indication that the world of the superstar itself had come to an end—it was no longer so much of a spectacle was worth it. Or, perhaps, because money had come between these ancient arts and symbols and languages being spoken by the superstars of old, that the magic in the literal sense had gone all the way away. The symbolism in the art had died, and so the singing and the dancing remained, but the God had gone out of it. Maybe that was the difference. The superstars of today were just the shell of the model that had been built on God, but the Godsense of it was no longer there— and so the magic no longer remained in effect, as the powers of magic that be are in all ancient arts and texts and forms attributive to The Source. Either way, I wasn't going to continue to be a sitting duck in my apartment in Brooklyn— there were too many indications that it had all been a setup from the shelter to the day I moved in, with the motorcycles and cars and CBS studios one block away. So the real and only question was, what exactly had been played at and who exactly was pulling the strings? I might at this point become a loose cannon: my son was estranged and as far as the people were concerned, I mostly hated New York— because the refined, clean cut and classy people I liked and wanted to be around saw me as the dirt and the grime I was fighting my way through just to simply exist— in my mind, this was a world that could be no more. I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress Keep writing I never thought I ‘d see the day Where i's taking lessons on Fallon From Michael Jackson That's ran That's a fan This is fame I'm insane I'm insane That's a fan Light the flame That's a fan. That's a fan. I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I went up the rack, set the page on fire Nordstrom rack And I might take it back for the cash I like Sara in a dress Stay repressed Keep it dark If you kiss don't tell I will probably go to hell for just writing Try it In black ink, I got all spades, Ehy, Spare me the ridicule, the imbecile and I met Johnny in a cage I like Fallon in a dress, Obsessive, I'm dressed out Every day I leave where I do not live Where stalker crawl and haunt me Just to show the motorcycles Have desheveled my intelligence into Nothing And so with negligence, I leave the core of a rotting apple The foreign words of a doctor And You must call the king, says something far off But I wonder which one I wonder which one I so respect her honor That I no longer Follow my heart or my soul And I don't shallow But shatter to swallow So I let the sparrow Out of the cage I bought Sara A pair of pants And I haunt l Patrick Kirkpatrick in patches And haven't you read yet You're ready for forget the pageant? It hasn't happened yet! I love Sara in a dress I hate Fallon and his wife Keep the kids out if it Skull and crossbones Cross my heart and Really hope to the loveless Or else Someone might call my phone back It's on silent in my coffin Or wait— It's on vibrate. I'm obsessed with the way You're dressed And the name on your checks I guess I'm better for it I'll skip lunch if you think that's what's best And dinner, too If you deserve the best Then better have learned my lesson No sweat And to do, With you, Was then, Dinner through next supper All the love I had was Rubbed into something other than The glass I patted dry With microfiber With ever fiber of my being I want to be with you I should have just— Died, And then Did, and so next Life, Remind me not to Fall for it If i really wanted to know you,I would know you by now– If i wanted to have you? I would have had you already Nobody is a dancer after Michael Jackson. I just watched some shit that was like “What the fuck did I just see” The whole thing was just not right. It was-/ I was like First of all, it's Munich, 1997. I never really realized how terribly the world has changed; No cellphones, but the audience is lit, And the crazy thing is, you can tell that this is near the turn of the century because, when the camera is panning by the audience in the people, they're not looking directly into the camera or waving at the camera— not really. And clearly this is an all ages show, so there's children, so the interesting thing I'm finding out is that nobody's trained to look at the camera and wave and smile— except the babies on shoulders and shit. These kids— they're my age now, are the only ones that see the camera, and they look directly into the shit. Mi still can't do that, really— I'm theatrically trained. Haha If I see a camera, I try to act ‘natural' It's the weirdest thing to look at a camera and just start to work it. People at festivals now, the camera rolls by, Or the drone flies in, And they look deadass in the camera and start to work it. Not at this show. Munich 1997, I'm like “Damn, a lot of things is wrong with this” First of all, I love Michael Jackson, I look directly at this man, and I'm in my dirty peak so I have an instant— like a sex detector thing going on And I know people gave Michael a hard time when he was a live for being fruity and whatever But I'm looking at this dude, and I don't see fruit at all. I see 100% man. I see why people were mad at him. Cause I'm looking at this dude, 100% All I see is carnal, primal man. I'm like, “Yo, I see why they was mad at him” Because the camera kept panning to the audience And these people are losing their minds. They are coming out of themselves. They are UGLY CRYING, full out of body, Losing composure They don't know what to do. That's Michael Jackson. He's right there! And the place is huge so really besides these few hundreds of people in the front, Michael's just a speck, But he's working this audience like “Yo, you know who I am, I know who is me” And I'm realizing, that to these people That's their god. These girls are losing their minds m “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!l *crying inconsolably* Just UGLY crying Bitch, get it together . You all the way lost yourself Get. It together. She won't. This bitch. I can't get over this This one girl, They just keep going back to her Cause the whole show— And this is like 2 hours of pure non stop Michael Jackson, This girl, every time you see her, she's just ugly crying— And every time you see her Her cry is uglier and ugly I'm like “Damn bitch” “Daaaaaaang” So this is the first thing I see that is wrong. But there's a lot of things wrong here, Cause there's a lot of girls like this. There's just— hundreds of girls losing their minds, like, I've seen Beatles mania and thought that was crazy, Shit, I've even seen some people put out that kind of energy in the modern world for some dumb DJ's— That's their god— But THIS THIS Michael Jackson mania was mental illness That was hard to watch. That was people just Lost control. I'm thinking “Like goddamn. You— what?!” “AAagghhhhhhgahahahahahqhahahhahaha MICHAELl “These people are sick” But they are. And so is Michael Fame has gone too far, 1997; 12 short years before he died, by chance— So this is what I see, And then Michael starts dancing, And this— This is what I see; I see the only thing that can ever be what it was in that moment in time, as God being God: Michael Jackson. Shiny ass motherfucker, And so I'm watching this show, And all I see is a God being a man being a God being— Michael Jackson— And the whole thing is weird. But the worst part— Yes The worst part Was when, about mid show, Michael goes to do one of his slow, lovey doves songs, And like, this 6 foot 7 type body guard guy, Just pops up out of nowhere, Comes dead front and center to one of these little girls losing their minds, Runs up on her in an instant; You don't even have time to think— And just SNATCHES her— Snatches the bitch— “Ah!” then throws her up on stage with Michael— And he's still singing; this is his game, this is part of the show, he knows— But she doesn't know, And she's just lost her mind, She won't let go She's hugging and kissing on the dude, She's lost her mind, She's ugly crying She's on the floor, She's kissing his hand She's really lost her good goddamn mind— And they pan out to the audience, And all the girls that didn't get picked Are like WHY NOT MEEEEEEEREEEEE?!? THE UGLY CRIES ARE EVEN UGLIER NOW, They're like “Wh—what?” You don't know?! “WHY NOT ME” They're holding each other crying, Michael's just doing his thing, He's unphased, He's trying to play along; He's a professional like a motherfucker; He's just— keeps singing And this girl is just, Losing it, so at this point, it's weird, She's crazy batshit lost her mind all the way, Won't let go of Michael, kissing his face while he's singing, He's kind of unreceptive to it, now just looking out at the audience, almost not even looking at all Just cold as fuck actually, Like she's not there, kissing his face Cold as fuck— And then another bouncer dude— An even bigger one in a blue suit, comes and tears her off of Michael Cause clearly this has gone too far or whatever And I'm thinking “What in the fuck did I just see” Blue suit dude just snatches, Just— He has to tear her off of him! She's kicking and screaming and getting dragged off stage Michael's just: singing. YO. Then they dragged her back stage. Where did she go?! WHO DID SHE BECOME?! WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE?!? WHAT. 1997. You can't do that shit anymore! You cannot snatch bitches like that. I seen. Watch the video. Tell me what's wrong with it. It's disgusting. Not the snatching, Not the— Like, that was weird But the screaming and the crying and the— Like okay, the snatching was bad— But I'm like … ..:: …. Now I see why they was mad. Don't ever forget he was once— A dark skinned little boy, And in his genetics his whole life is still this thing That some hate. But people loved him; they loved him that hard— Screaming, ugly crying hard. I think in that moment you know someone was like “he must be stopped!” And it seems like yesterday was a year ago But I don't want let anybody know… Cause everybody wants something from me now— And I don't want to let them down. My life is over. New York City looks so small from the top of a skyscraper. What are you doing. Then again— my thoughts lately have been grandiose. Back market, eh? What's this for? You need a burner. I have three. Here, have another. For someone whose supposed to be entirely off grid, I'm admirably reachable. Clever vocabulary. Something has to be clever about me, doesn't it? Does it? It must be. Or else. [both men are speaking casually over the delicate process of loading rare guns; some of which appear to be antique, and some—almost even unearthly , as if from somewhere besides our own planet. But, you could say what planet this is at all, actually— this bunker, with no windows and no doors, is apparently hidden in a subterranean layer— the location, unknown. The men seem calm but also quite tired and weary, and seem to know each other well. We can assume they've probably been friends for years. Sickle cell anemia. Does that mean I'm going to die. Animus, I quite like whatever that is, Google. ;) don't mention it. Honestly, you might as well. What. I can't help you with this. What. I don't think there's anyone who can. Beg your pardon. Please, don't beg— but uh… [the doctor pats his patient on the shoulder] Do take care. Gee, doc! I'll try! You should do that. What. Try. The doctor leaves seemingly in some kind of hurry, trading his lab coat for a trench coat and closing the door behind him. The other man pauses for a second in the silence of the weird linoleum room, then ponders on the coat for a moment before walking up to the coat rack, putting on the coat, and then walking out the door himself; as he begins to shut the door, he quickly decides also to take the fedora that was sitting atop the coat rack, placing it on his head before he walks out the door himself, shutting it behind him quietly. You got anything to eat in here? Cereal…some rabbit food ina the drawers, there. Oh, you have salad. That sounds nice. No, rabbit food. [the man presents a large bag of weird brown dry food from the crisper drawer.] …pellets. For the rabbits. How do rabbits get in here? …I don't know. And— more importantly— where did you get rabbit food for them? If I told you Amazon, would you believe me? The man just winces and places the bag back into the crisper drawer. Now listen, I um— If you want cereal, the milk is powedred… I don't— and that's disgusting— but listen— [the man cocks a loaded gun and admires it intensively] (Dismissively) —I'm listening. I've been meaning to tell you something. Tell me what. It's important. Oh, You couldn't have used one of my four phones. Look, it's— You know I wasn't expecting company. Well— You should sit down. The man squints, beginning to listen more attentively. … …really. I'm holding a loaded gun; there are at least three more within arms reach if I do sit, you know. I know. But I should sit? One baby to another says, “I'm lucky to've met you.” Maybe you should. Not all my bad but all my might, And all my mind, The fire, The light. …business or personal. [beat] Both. {Enter The Multiverse} What are we watching?! Shhhhhh! Shut up. What is this? Some.. Sshhh. Shit, I don't know. Sit down. You don't know. SHH it just came on Shh. Ok. When? Uh… (Nobody really seems to know how long it's been. The show just happened to come on; no one remembers how, or why— or even when— But the show is intense as it gets; And it just keeps getting weirder and deeper.) {Enter The Multiverse} I'm transfixed on your soul And it seems I aspire To what has transpired here, Your unremarked and the umpire The spider veins and the way it washes. And watches and waves, and waters over you, And still I seem to think you've won another, Strum to thumb of you. And still I wake to gather here The odds and whats And the twists and turns and the Troublesome you've number some Or stuttered, stumbled conciousness. And withered branches Aces lie and house of cards And aging scoundrels— There you are, the..: Nevermind. Don't belittle my ways if, In the end my thinking may be correct As dumbfounded as I have shifted my lottery bonds tied to none, There ye are again who aren't I, And never were, And weathered now, as I, bound to Struggle under her might, Nothing I was, and nothing I am And nothing I came from but to barter Oh hard love, I only found my kings upon thrown As cast out of another by her likeness, Peace and pale and primed as it was, And wanted for love, As I was not— And then, the gates had opened And I, preaching withered, Gathered my arts and my minds And my eyes, and my thrones, Buried my ark and though not my bones The shallow waking peaks of pride And there you gathered, all as huddled sheep to mine, The cost of war, but certain therefore honored as I have, Happened went, came and untied, shattered Hating all I am and all my dark and all my eyes and all my brown Because you came and went, a baby born to as nothing was but beauty and yet having been gifted such life, Departed! Soon, I wake shattered and with none as it had began, in my time and in time there laid there none, But fortune seeks to favor, as ye are saying brave and yet I neither beg nor make to differ, Shall you come again in part, And in this time as shadows, as shadows As hating and wearing and waging, And shattered I, I pardon, Knowing not they seeking I, And I having none at all but one, As forgotten I shall came And went And followed this, The time y'i call now, And ours and ours, And yours and yours, And mine and mine, Though as one are also, Common not, And waking yet to find, These things making have gone into yer Another of ours, world, Another of our dozens, Shines, Another of our gathered, wit, and waking Though true to fortune, none us have gathered And have embarked to truth, The waking I have come, Another, and another, and another Departed. And yet, I bury my words having weakened to that which is this, Ye have no fear and lest no fortune in these words, For having I to come and gone, since they times In words to make this a language I or neither other Does not speak here, and almost never, And this yours time past, Has come and gone And come and gone And come and gone again, So long so I too have parted but not yet Unfolded as does my nature, As God does. Belittle this, you waking fools, As to this you pity though divine, Is unlike any other And steep remarked in gold and with chimes and words That ye here no often or either now, or in mine speak. Amen …can I go now? You are dismissed. C'cxell Soleïl, aka DJ Ū is an American DJ + Producer, Multi-Instrumentalist, Playwright, Poet, Comedian, Novelist & Filmmaker. She is best known for her unique vocal riffs, Clever Lyricism & Philanthropically Inspired Freestyles and her flagship venture [The Festival Project.™] [Ï A M B ī C], a freestyle studio mixtape recorded in Los Angeles, (Official Release: TBD) inspired the adaptation of a staged musical version for Broadway, and a concurrent multimedia (TV/Film) series and ongoing saga as part of The Festival Project ™ Brand. Inspired musically by an ‘Ultra American' experience of Racially, Binary Ambiguity, and Synesthetic Exploration, her reflective melodies signature sound provides a philosophical dissection of American culture through a careful and inquisitive mastery of the English language, and emergence of world sounds through music brings about ‘A New Era in Nature', and clarifies the establishment of the newest wave in human evolution: Unity Through Music. L E G E N D S What if I just want to be alone in the dark Alone in the dark Alone in the dark Bones Duggar was a long, handsome zombie Bones once was a very tall man Not great and tall, as he stands But average, Grand as it were, his status. Everything's black My heart My pants My home My mind Everything hurts But you don't understand that Like I can Calm the commercial holidays for a moment Who gets the card? Get our your hard earned My head hurts Slam the door man; You can't control thoughts With a wombat Murderer Now that's a hard concept to catch When you haven't a soul When you haven't a card Or a car Or a cat I think I'm vanilla. I always thought of myself as a super kink Like a freaky, freaky bitch. So I got on this app. This app is better then Tinder. Yes. But it is not for the faint of heart. No, sir. They have a test, I'm like “ooh, I like tests” So I take the test. The test was not at all… As I'd hoped. First of all, It was hard. It was not a quiz; It was a TEST And I failed. I realized “Oh my god, I don't like any of this stuff” I am not about that! No! Yuck! Gross. “I think I might be vanilla.” I might be vanilla. I want my hair pulled back like a leash And my arms tied up Like I'm being arrested Without being read my rights. — I want your hands on the back of my neck [breathe] Reach around to my Mortimer's apple Put the lights out, Adam. I want the lights cut off. I want the bills piled up so the phone don't work I want the habit back on Don't talk to nobody I told you, I'm coming No, God! That's dumb! Show me why I'm off all alone with a rattle so bad It's just segmented thoughts, colors and sounds I can't make with all the plugins in the kindgdom of chaos?! I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES— I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES —but the one who could love me is God, And I guess he's not coming. The denial turns to tears, Not songs no more My womb is empty And the sun has turned into Not what I wanted But not my fault We got caught in the land of Cutting costs And processed morsels At 400 pounds And that's where I found What I thought was love But it turns out That it just turns up In the whole form of a person And that's why I got the collar, caller But really I'm no one's lover So I Do what I want I don't hang up on God But he don't got a body And I need someone to love/ Fuck me Please God Don't turn the lights off I'll pull the clock back Just like foreskin, god i want your skin Draped over mine in a warm swath Probably run a hot back Cause the next stop is a closet The line doesn't really move for the Doesn'tMatterhorn. some people are starting to doubt if it's even a ride. Others just admire it for its eloquence as a metaphor. Johnny! You scared me! Aha. Where did you go?! Nowhere— fast! Alright well— Money when you know I have it But I haven't really Paid attention to the never ending Digits never coming in but Simply, there's a secret, Sonny Someday you'll get lessons, honey. Much to find and much to serve and Surf us up Piñata's bout the burst But here comes Vesuvius (POW) Everyone was gone in an instant (Vapor) Had a good laugh that night in the pantheon; Everything's past, and the mortals They kept on running But i didn't want go, God Putting on a show then I blow up Just like the mountain Found her Now I got a broke back husband (hope so) To tell, don't ask Don't show up if you just get lost But I'm probably in the back with a bottle back mountain Now you got a real horse pack. Trip Girl keep camping What was the map with the mask and the Fashion? Pass. I put sugar on the rim of the glass With my eyes half closed And my ass clenched fast shut I'm an alcoholic Don't involve the God I got lost in the mall with the —- UGHHHHHHHH! Hello. Uh, yes— hi. what up. Mirror mirror. Uh…nothing. You're lost? No. You look lost. Oh? Disgruntled. I am that. You're lost? I'm not lost. My friend is lost. His phone is dead. You lost each other. Sort of. Continuity conniption I nipped an eclipse And he picked his nose For a full ass minute Sitting at the stop sign That's a gobstopper's worth in our time Pull all the clocks back, Pull the fool over, You just got fined It was Friday for nothing I was in the hatchback, Scratch that Sour patch Should have called Pat back Now I'm just a Cool 48 in the ring with a date And the cashapp Continuity construction I want a husband! Fuck that. I want a clean cut plus one Since I can't have Helmet, Elmo, Or Hatchetman; Tears of a Clow…no, Wait I lost focus Half finished album Got 6 tracks But I knew it was 12 from the get go Prob‘ly should have knocked off the showrunner; Nah, I'm sure I had that coming Hashtag, undon Could have been you, too If the cash came through Now it's hard times Hardwired Sitting on a hi wire, Little white liar, liar Wait I made Katey Sagal (Fire) Cut off her hair (Fire) Went to the hall of fame with the framed sunglasses Asked for her autograf, But she walked off So I shot her with a bottle/ can, But she ducked, popped back up With the brass knuckles Surfboard Good for a chuckle and a fuck So I asked for her number All that on a Sunday at Gelson's market. Christ, almighty I miss Walmart, I hit hard times. So many places to run, But not many places to hide I think I want to die here I think i want to die. City of corruption… Lay it out and lay it over City of corruption… no, it's not a choice It's a black tie function Right in that very moment Seth Meyers kind of became my defacto personal hero. “Never meet your heroes” Or perhaps it was just his writing team, or the fact that maybe even without there even being anything set in stone or solid at all, [redacted] itself seemed to have a price over my head– It all seemed to make sense; in fact, all the crazy things i was experiencing made more sense than it didn't. But after what felt something like between defeat and maybe even one day really getting justice for all the things that had happened to me in new york– it was that, at best; That without actually meaning it, by all probability, the opening monologue described what in perfect sense the thing that had been happening to me: hundreds of motorcycles and cars riding around in circles for over a year, any time i tried to work or sleep–and then, when I finally tried to reach out to find an attorney that would help, I was made to feel crazy for it. In a way, it was the perfect indication that it had all been some sort of sick game, and that I was more right than wrong, and being set up to appear, sound, or look crazy–but I wasn't. I had been under attack for nearly two years, and when I tried to reach out, my heart raced and my voice cracked, and I sounded crazy and desperate–but what was happening was very real; and now I knew where I was. As it turns out, New York's corruption was more common knowledge to everyone else before it was to me: New York was a common place for fucked up, dirty, low-down mind games: and this was my lesson in that. Seth Meyers in reality had nothing to do with it–and really I only meant to watch Kimmel over my afternoon tacos. But still, though it hadn't entirely anything to do with me, the opening statements rang true to exactly what I had experienced; I was made to lose my mind, only to have everyone around me tell me it was something wrong with me–but it wasn't. Something was wrong with the city, and the building management, and the people around who were making it all to be some kind of mental disorder or problems with my mind–in reality, it was 2 years of being in the center of a speedway, and all the time i'd lost because of it adding to the stress, and the angst, and the depression that resulted. Moo. Moo… Moo. Moo, sir. I'll kill you. You promise? I want to. Don't get me excited over nothing; If this isn't the exit, please take this tease To the left, dear Moo, cow My honor Level one, and brother, you've got nothing Flip the coin and landed on your headache Betting on your helmet Standing on my cock, i'm taller (Not a rooster) But my ops are rooting for you, No informants, Dont you know I was a collar, all along? I was a shot calling, Cop calling Kiss-and-tell all as the night goes on. But oh, I brought you a dollar bra Oh, I bought you for all of a dollar And oh, I'm so much taller, Standing on my cock But i'm not but ten feet tall You know, you wrote that Should i open the book, or close that Caught that cat, owl and As i soft spoke at Every broken model Broken bottle for the thoughts you owe Across the scatters skies and no one ever knows When you're realling coming over Come on, I'm on the pornhub Just to pick up another one Go on, and rub the bottle One more once, To call the Bubbles. Damn. Come. (The Monkey obeys) You should see Michael in all of his godform You won't recognize him at all if not by the eyes When you follow home Believe me, this not comes close to it; The one you wanted The world you jumped to but were just short of Call her back Oh no, you're wrong It's another song A pin up girl And the wrong number Okah. Okah, Pablo. Time can be altered, changed or effected presently in any omnidirectional plane by engaging certain acts or synchronicities within multidimensional parallels or adjacent realms in time and or space respectively. –the reverse quantum simulation theory. Does anyone else smell blood I hate wedding days suits and tuxedos No, I don't know you I'm just here to sound the hundred drums Of the once before us (The ones to come) Then, there we were and I didn't want to admit Again, I was caught into the ghost of the rapture Or the holy hour, No aux chord Show the holy one Just how old you are On these sacr d lands and a holy grounds Now I want here half an ounce to smoke And there were drowning orchestras in all of the hearts And all of the markets, The market the marker And all of the sins of the savior The maytyr Did you remember not to notice not to know him Were you sure with words you were for nickelodeaon! I was supposed to hold on to, Supposed to hold on to Suddenly, it's summer. And always our own are under the weather There was no other wise man the wind. Lee the one came The site came and went and then the songs went left The songs went left; Again, the songs went left Did you win at wintergreen Well, God, I didn't know gym was a game. I didn't know guns we're just portals to worlds unknownn I didn't know gossip was golden What all else didn't I know It wasn't for here! It was fourth flour And in the final hour of the battle I commenced to summon All the gods and all the lords and all the flowers All the worlds of oceans and the Remember, this The remembrance It may not matter to some, What matters to most But until summer comes, I'm still up under the rail And practically it's spring, for the next two weeks I'm all berries and cream and whatever you wanted. Tormaline, emerald and onyx, the fox said And fox says its west when instead it's quite under what of the reporter's offer? Comes down a little to none What of the offer Comes down from a billion to one A billion to one I'm on TV so it's really just a one way screen Either way, I don't think he likes me much I don't think he likes me much I'd rather die than to fall in love even one more time And to keep on just never being loved Never beingbloved {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Every time I take him in I must remember the best thing That have ever happened to him As he said And whether or not the band Wraps around the bent and broken digit I just simply remember that, I'm just infatuated as a friend I mark it like a mantra Just as adequately as the director Calls to action All the actors at the set; With no resentments We're all just doing our jobs All just doing our jobs We're all just doing our… Lessons. Come back. Not quite. It's not (Uh) There (Where you want it) Hold on. (Yeah) Sit tight (Where) I don't want to spoil any of it Boil all the letters Burning all the bridges Sitting at the forest (Where) There's the alter (Where) Really you didn't recognize The moment when it happened But it's been pinpointed (Where) —but where is it? Cut to commercial But don't let it hurt you All of a sudden. My eyes aren't his, This isn't witchcraft It's just a glitch Did you miss an interview? Or is it that you're just disinterested Or disintegrated Integration, integers and interference Running backs and runners, Gymnasts, models, other lovers Alcoholics Now it's not so daunting, comic I'm also sort of off and autistic Obsessive with narrow vision But glimpses of the ever bending present Is indeed a gift To know I left the letter Letting it get soaking wet Before they ever even read it Know the news, Wave the wand, Wind the whales, Dig the hole Burn the bridge, Burn the ace Throw the cards, Get the day over with and won't you know There's Something wrong I think it's simple to tell The wind will whistle when It's good to win again There are Ten men to a collar Ten phones to a number One call to a voicemail And all of them know her Now, take it all back before the bathwater stagnates Would you make it in this day and age? No, I'm glad that you hate me. 4,000 years later and all of a sudden The pact is clear and concise As if As it As if Turn it on its head a bit And light another candle Get the glitch out of your Obsession with the asshole And wrap you head around it Found a sweater Pick it up and pray that it just Isn't bewitched, But sickness is sickness Whatever it is This is comfort food A comfort blanket If I hate myself enough Then all it does Is put the elf back on the shelf The trophy back inside the case My eyes go back inside my head And everything I ever thought Just stopped And disappears into the heavens Wherever it goes Before the gore Around and and around and around and around 4,000 years, and now we're here: The mirrors Man and Mr. And it might be another million years Until I see to hear But this and that, The dance of dances Comes again And ebbs and flows It's not as random As it is sporadic And it's not that deep But it's also keeping secrets That precede this realm Or Space and time Or name or face And body, souls and mind. It could be another million years, But it comes around, It comes around It could be getting wider, But it's steady going down and out It comes around when it comes around 27, were it ended Now it's umpteen years into the after life And we're shadows now Just projections of such, But it wasn't once More than just a thought, Becomes a story All the world was just the thought And then a song, The dance that came along Is simply steady moving Is simple steady moving. All of the world, Was just a thought. Watch with one eye open only First the right And then the left Covered over with one closed palm So you know how old you go One foot forward And no coals to walk over Rolling rolling, Your role is One off, Now too off Now too late But what you process Is your whole world over The goal for the gold? Oh, no, Warm Sundays Try to warn her While her heart is open To fucking close it Keep your friends close And your Fallons closer. There's no trust in the golden auras There's no honor in golden globes If you don't work for them Know doors open and close And open and close And you don't blow smoke, But you just keep moving forward [The Festival Project ™ ] Just the idea if him will kill you Whether with guilt or otherwise, And now you know And now you know You're on no sugar till the goal You got your cake and ate it, too Oh, the way he cries in the confines of my mind The blood would curdle The tears that seared my soul disk through the wall with every color If his was a shoulder to cry on, If God was a cover for longing Yo. Where the fuck did Patrick come from? He just showed up. I don't think he owns me so much As I want to know I don't think I'm lonely As much as it's I'm alone What are you looking at Well, I don't know yet What are you asking? I can't. There's a mask there What I want to know is, What is this pain? What is this pain in him? What is this pain in this? What kind of psychic sense That lives in my back; I just hope that's the last of it What a weird kid. Core Concept: "Enter The Multiverse" (ETM) is a living, evolving meta-narrative that documents the ontological fluidity of reality itself. It functions as a grand experiment, proposing that all perceived realities – fictional, historical, and contemporary – exist as vibrational frequencies within an infinite cosmic tapestry. ETM doesn't just feature alternate worlds; it explores the mechanics of their existence, their interconnectedness, and the profound implications for consciousness. It blends high-concept quantum physics with ancient spiritual metaphysics. It includes creatures such as shapeshifters (like Gerald and potentially Jimmy Fallon), fairies, and monsters. Integration of Real-Life Figures: ETM famously integrates real-life celebrities (from A-list icons like Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Billie Eilish, Finneas, Eddie Murphy, Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg, to late-night hosts and media personalities like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon). ETM posits that these individuals, often without their conscious awareness, are either key nodal points in the multiversal fabric, accidental conduits for interdimensional energies, or even unwitting "Lightworkers" whose public personas are part of a larger cosmic script. You son of a bitch. Can you do that?! Can you do that? I can do— anything I want— Really? Except that. Oh?! And why's this?! Because I don't want to. But if you could, you would. I can— I just— Oh really. I'm sure there are reasons— besides the obvious —I'm sure— Moral ones. Almost Sam was a safe bet Almost mark John was a good lad Almost once was the Ireland's best, And I guess with the beat of the drum, I ponder Ponder to the beat of the Pity my pocket, much Pity the fool, if you're. It put b perfect; Get in the picture, Just to cut you out of it If I close my eyes one time, Even just for a little while Take me right off and away Take me right off and away And I bet with the task, you can't have handled it I bet to run better you'd forget your purpose I guess I'm a purist- pure problems, the pussy car l Put it to sleep, Or just— in a waste basket I'm so confused, ya'll, I got on the train. Of course. And nothing was at all interesting until this nigga got on With a samurai sword And a Trader Joe's clutch Pick a side! You can't get on the What the fuck am I looking at You tel me I don't know. You see that. I wish I didn't. Take it all in. I— Okay. This is gross What is the state of New York today? L Infected. Corrupt. Disingenuous. What is the state of New York today No identity No indegenous Murder me Leave me to drown In the tides of the ocean Just let me sink That's the only way to Bury me, With this murderous, traitorous Listen, if you will To a story ne'er told, But often sung And often rang like moons as bells Often thought, but never spoken Often brought up, But never put down Come around, will you I'll tell you a tale of a glorious story The take of all time, and as you listen, These words and this whispers will mend with your spirit, Then cease to exist with it Listen Celebrating resonances Has no effect. Yet I haven't even messaged any I haven't even lets a message yet I've just been celebrating resonances I haven't noticed any difference her. Only reflections on the way you get affexted How to get the guy at the bar— aunt you just lean on the bar Maybe you just sit at the bar Maybe you just be at the bar; How to get the guy at the bar Maybe you just stare at the bare Sit right there at the bare Maybe have a care at the bar Don't share at the bar Several small disaster. Why the fuck Am I alive I might as just well die I should have never made Pasquale Rotella one of my role models. —then again. This is before I really knew who he was, or what he was about— and at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, nobody can ever really know who he really was, or what he was really about. Semitus, Semitus Relax the semitones Verdis Quo varitus You still aren't coming through! Varuq de Adonai Semitus, Semitus Verdis Quo, Veritus You still aren't coming through Cover up Cover up You still aren't coming through! Tau Kappa Epslilon You still aren't coming through Kappa Kappa epsilon, You still aren't coming through Kappa Delta Epsilon, you still aren't coming through MR. REDUNDANT, RAINBOW KITTEN SUPRISE– But IN AN UNASSUMING IRISH BAR in DRUNKEN HARMONY surrounding a piano played by what appears to be… An exceptionally tall leprechaun? I wouldn't know. I wasn't. [invited] Enchilada muffins Ah nah, I'm in Manhattan. I almost forgot what that was like. What a head change. More like a change of heart. What's this, a song? More like, I just don't know yet One day this will all be gone For now this is just a poem. How to wear Santa yellow: don't That took avoid anount of forever. That took a long punch of time That took a good bit of forever And now you're mine, You're mine, you're mine That took a good bit of forever, And now I'm on your mind That took a long bit of forever But now, I'm not counting time And now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're kine Jack in the box You really like to think you're smart, don't you? You really like to get your way? I can't Blame you But baby, I can't tame you LEAN WIT IT, ROCK WIT IT–BUT VIKING PIRATES. lol dumb “Nobody's really going to take that ad in the same way I am, are they?” I had reached a breaking point. I was going to let the world make me go mad because being good wasn't working and being bad seemed like my only option. Should I get a vape? Grab a drink? Fuck a friend? The truth was, none of the above would suffice, but in truth I felt the hate and rapid fire of judgement in cruelty in that whatever voice inside my head posing as Jimmy Fallon always seemed to be right. I had been replaced. People will try to feed you. Dont you see Because People will try to defeat you And they will fail Back to the wall Because after all It was you who needed me. After all, Over all, It was not a cacauphony, It was an apostrophe. How preposterous. Don't you see the weight of it, With what you made of it all, It was fly over fall And you chose the first. Wasn't it something of a hallmark moment That you went for the donut, And still came out With a basket of apples? Indeed, a crisis, In fact, You're there again In fact Beware of her It's obvious That it's not her fault It's just not the right time It's just not the right te, it's just not the right time When all they need if your compliance And all the my want is your attention And don't you see, it's just applied physics I'll take Literally Whatever I can get But you already knew that I needed you to need to know You know you knew But you already blue that And i'n already blue balled, So send me a bluebell It's nothing new, hell But it's crucial that I Screw you We all go to work in a toolbox My dear did What on earth are you doing in The fourth dimension?! I thought things were kind of strange… We interrupt this orogramme to bring you a live broadcast of a current alien invasion—breaking news— If you jump I might just jump Don't jump If you jump I might jump Same here If you jump I might jump I'll jump Don't jump Same here I might just jump 311-231-25900 311-231-26867 JIMMY FALLON pours himself a tall glass of WHATEVER— this is clearly one of those hype celebrity-curated brands of liquor meant to be hip and chic— a luxurious black-label bottle of fine liquor which literally, in bold white lettering, simply says WHATEVER; next to it on the oak wood table is another bottle of WHATEVER— a clear liquor, however with a white label and black lettering. This is clearly someone's brand, although— in the confines of a murky and dimly lit office, oppulent as it is— this is no plug, and there are no cameras, no audience. JIMMY FALLON knows he is about to be murdered, and as the dark liquid— perhaps a rum of some sort— glides over the barreled rocks in his glass, he calmly lets out a subtle sigh of exasperation. These are surely his last moments. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Every time I take him in I must remember the best thing That have ever happened to him As he said And whether or not the band Wraps around the bent and broken digit I just simply remember that, I'm just infatuated as a friend I mark it like a mantra Just as adequately as the director Calls to action All the actors at the set; With no resentments We're all just doing our jobs All just doing our jobs We're all just doing our… Lessons. Come back. Not quite. It's not (Uh) There (Where you want it) Hold on. (Yeah) Sit tight (Where) I don't want to spoil any of it Boil all the letters Burning all the bridges Sitting at the forest (Where) There's the alter (Where) Really you didn't recognize The moment when it happened But it's been pinpointed (Where) —but where is it? Cut to commercial But don't let it hurt you All of a sudden. My eyes aren't his, This isn't witchcraft It's just a glitch Did you miss an interview? Or is it that you're just disinterested Or disintegrated Integration, integers and interference Running backs and runners, Gymnasts, models, other lovers Alcoholics Now it's not so daunting, comic I'm also sort of off and autistic Obsessive with narrow vision But glimpses of the ever bending present Is indeed a gift To know I left the letter Letting it get soaking wet Before they ever even read it Know the news, Wave the wand, Wind the whales, Dig the hole Burn the bridge, Burn the ace Throw the cards, Get the day over with and won't you know There's Something wrong I think it's simple to tell The wind will whistle when It's good to win again There are Ten men to a collar Ten phones to a number One call to a voicemail And all of them know her Now, take it all back before the bathwater stagnates Would you make it in this day and age? No, I'm glad that you hate me. 4,000 years later and all of a sudden The pact is clear and concise As if As it As if Turn it on its head a bit And light another candle Get the glitch out of your Obsession with the asshole And wrap you head around it Found a sweater Pick it up and pray that it just Isn't bewitched, But sickness is sickness Whatever it is This is comfort food A comfort blanket If I hate myself enough Then all it does Is put the elf back on the shelf The trophy back inside the case My eyes go back inside my head And everything I ever thought Just stopped And disappears into the heavens Wherever it goes Before the gore Around and and around and around and around 4,000 years, and now we're here: The mirrors Man and Mr. And it might be another million years Until I see to hear But this and that, The dance of dances Comes again And ebbs and flows It's not as random As it is sporadic And it's not that deep But it's also keeping secrets That precede this realm Or Space and time Or name or face And body, souls and mind. It could be another million years, But it comes around, It comes around It could be getting wider, But it's steady going down and out It comes around when it comes around 27, were it ended Now it's umpteen years into the after life And we're shadows now Just projections of such, But it wasn't once More than just a thought, Becomes a story All the world was just the thought And then a song, The dance that came along Is simply steady moving Is simple steady moving. All of the world, Was just a thought. Watch with one eye open only First the right And then the left Covered over with one closed palm So you know how old you go One foot forward And no coals to walk over Rolling rolling, Your role is One off, Now too off Now too late But what you process Is your whole world over The goal for the gold? Oh, no, Warm Sundays Try to warn her While her heart is open To fucking close it Keep your friends close And your Fallons closer. There's no trust in the golden auras There's no honor in golden globes If you don't work for them Know doors open and close And open and close And you don't blow smoke, But you just keep moving forward [The Festival Project ™ ] Just the idea if him will kill you Whether with guilt or otherwise, And now you know And now you know You're on no sugar till the goal You got your cake and ate it, too Oh, the way he cries in the confines of my mind The blood would curdle The tears that seared my soul disk through the wall with every color If his was a shoulder to cry on, If God was a cover for longing Yo. Where the fuck did Patrick come from? He just showed up. I don't think he owns me so much As I want to know I don't think I'm lonely As much as it's I'm alone What are you looking at Well, I don't know yet What are you asking? I can't. There's a mask there What I want to know is, What is this pain? What is this pain in him? What is this pain in this? What kind of psychic sense That lives in my back; I just hope that's the last of it What a weird kid. Core Concept: "Enter The Multiverse" (ETM) is a living, evolving meta-narrative that documents the ontological fluidity of reality itself. It functions as a grand experiment, proposing that all perceived realities – fictional, historical, and contemporary – exist as vibrational frequencies within an infinite cosmic tapestry. ETM doesn't just feature alternate worlds; it explores the mechanics of their existence, their interconnectedness, and the profound implications for consciousness. It blends high-concept quantum physics with ancient spiritual metaphysics. It includes creatures such as shapeshifters (like Gerald and potentially Jimmy Fallon), fairies, and monsters. Integration of Real-Life Figures: ETM famously integrates real-life celebrities (from A-list icons like Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Billie Eilish, Finneas, Eddie Murphy, Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg, to late-night hosts and media personalities like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon). ETM posits that these individuals, often without their conscious awareness, are either key nodal points in the multiversal fabric, accidental conduits for interdimensional energies, or even unwitting "Lightworkers" whose public personas are part of a larger cosmic script. You son of a bitch. Can you do that?! Can you do that? I can do— anything I want— Really? Except that. Oh?! And why's this?! Because I don't want to. But if you could, you would. I can— I just— Oh really. I'm sure there are reasons— besides the obvious —I'm sure— Moral ones. Almost Sam was a safe bet Almost mark John was a good lad Almost once was the Ireland's best, And I guess with the beat of the drum, I ponder Ponder to the beat of the Pity my pocket, much Pity the fool, if you're. It put b perfect; Get in the picture, Just to cut you out of it If I close my eyes one time, Even just for a little while Take me right off and away Take me right off and away And I bet with the task, you can't have handled it I bet to run better you'd forget your purpose I guess I'm a purist- pure problems, the pussy car l Put it to sleep, Or just— in a waste basket I'm so confused, ya'll, I got on the train. Of course. And nothing was at all interesting until this nigga got on With a samurai sword And a Trader Joe's clutch Pick a side! You can't get on the What the fuck am I looking at You tel me I don't know. You see that. I wish I didn't. Take it all in. I— Okay. This is gross What is the state of New York today? L Infected. Corrupt. Disingenuous. What is the state of New York today No identity No indegenous Murder me Leave me to drown In the tides of the ocean Just let me sink That's the only way to Bury me, With this murderous, traitorous Listen, if you will To a story ne'er told, But often sung And often rang like moons as bells Often thought, but never spoken Often brought up, But never put down Come around, will you I'll tell you a tale of a glorious story The take of all time, and as you listen, These words and this whispers will mend with your spirit, Then cease to exist with it Listen Celebrating resonances Has no effect. Yet I haven't even messaged any I haven't even lets a message yet I've just been celebrating resonances I haven't noticed any difference her. Only reflections on the way you get affexted How to get the guy at the bar— aunt you just lean on the bar Maybe you just sit at the bar Maybe you just be at the bar; How to get the guy at the bar Maybe you just stare at the bare Sit right there at the bare Maybe have a care at the bar Don't share at the bar Several small disaster. Why the fuck Am I alive I might as just well die I should have never made Pasquale Rotella one of my role models. —then again. This is before I really knew who he was, or what he was about— and at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, nobody can ever really know who he really was, or what he was really about. Semitus, Semitus Relax the semitones Verdis Quo varitus You still aren't coming through! Varuq de Adonai Semitus, Semitus Verdis Quo, Veritus You still aren't coming through Cover up Cover up You still aren't coming through! Tau Kappa Epslilon You still aren't coming through Kappa Kappa epsilon, You still aren't coming through Kappa Delta Epsilon, you still aren't coming through MR. REDUNDANT, RAINBOW KITTEN SUPRISE– But IN AN UNASSUMING IRISH BAR in DRUNKEN HARMONY surrounding a piano played by what appears to be… An exceptionally tall leprechaun? I wouldn't know. I wasn't. [invited] Enchilada muffins Ah nah, I'm in Manhattan. I almost forgot what that was like. What a head change. More like a change of heart. What's this, a song? More like, I just don't know yet One day this will all be gone For now this is just a poem. How to wear Santa yellow: don't That took avoid anount of forever. That took a long punch of time That took a good bit of forever And now you're mine, You're mine, you're mine That took a good bit of forever, And now I'm on your mind That took a long bit of forever But now, I'm not counting time And now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're kine Jack in the box You really like to think you're smart, don't you? You really like to get your way? I can't Blame you But baby, I can't tame you LEAN WIT IT, ROCK WIT IT–BUT VIKING PIRATES. lol dumb “Nobody's really going to take that ad in the same way I am, are they?” I had reached a breaking point. I was going to let the world make me go mad because being good wasn't working and being bad seemed like my only option. Should I get a vape? Grab a drink? Fuck a friend? The truth was, none of the above would suffice, but in truth I felt the hate and rapid fire of judgement in cruelty in that whatever voice inside my head posing as Jimmy Fallon always seemed to be right. I had been replaced. People will try to feed you. Dont you see Because People will try to defeat you And they will fail Back to the wall Because after all It was you who needed me. After all, Over all, It was not a cacauphony, It was an apostrophe. How preposterous. Don't you see the weight of it, With what you made of it all, It was fly over fall And you chose the first. Wasn't it something of a hallmark moment That you went for the donut, And still came out With a basket of apples? Indeed, a crisis, In fact, You're there again In fact Beware of her It's obvious That it's not her fault It's just not the right time It's just not the right te, it's just not the right time When all they need if your compliance And all the my want is your attention And don't you see, it's just applied physics I'll take Literally Whatever I can get But you already knew that I needed you to need to know You know you knew But you already blue that And i'n already blue balled, So send me a bluebell It's nothing new, hell But it's crucial that I Screw you We all go to work in a toolbox My dear did What on earth are you doing in The fourth dimension?! I thought things were kind of strange… We interrupt this orogramme to bring you a live broadcast of a current alien invasion—breaking news— If you jump I might just jump Don't jump If you jump I might jump Same here If you jump I might jump I'll jump Don't jump Same here I might just jump 311-231-25900 311-231-26867 JIMMY FALLON pours himself a tall glass of WHATEVER— this is clearly one of those hype celebrity-curated brands of liquor meant to be hip and chic— a luxurious black-label bottle of fine liquor which literally, in bold white lettering, simply says WHATEVER; next to it on the oak wood table is another bottle of WHATEVER— a clear liquor, however with a white label and black lettering. This is clearly someone's brand, although— in the confines of a murky and dimly lit office, oppulent as it is— this is no plug, and there are no cameras, no audience. JIMMY FALLON knows he is about to be murdered, and as the dark liquid— perhaps a rum of some sort— glides over the barreled rocks in his glass, he calmly lets out a subtle sigh of exasperation. These are surely his last moments. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

“Look what they eye unearthed,” leaning into the tip of my ear with the warmth and closeness of the coming waves, high tide approaching in the waning moon. “More secrets.” I replied. It was a question but also a statement— there was never such as this the luminescent trace of the glowing lava that was his force and might that I could not see for miles before he would even wander— first in twinkling stars and then later the wind itself and the birds, and then beneath the waves, like the quaking shake of a mighty oak anchored elsewhere and tied to the sea. “So you know.” I was hoping he would kill me before the next time I had to ever really know anything. He was the subject, and the predicate The wrong done, and the justice She was the pride and the prejudice But Judas brings the law Did you look in the box? No, I– [The Box Is The Box] –No, I haven't. Nearly three nights ago, a mysterious box arrived on the doorstep of an equally mysterious writer, who spends their time in isolation due to the often unannounced arrival of various ghosts, spirits, time travelers, and other figures by instant teleportation and other magical forms of transportation into their shabby New York apartment. Some of ya'll got so many air wick plug ins and scentci wax melts you don't know you smell like booboo. It's an illusion. You leave your house, You smell like booboo. I promise. Oh, God, I think I need a drink. Are you alright? Let me just–sit down for a second. Of course. My God. What's wrong. Look, i'm not supposed to say anything about this but. What's wrong? It's nothing, I'm just–I'm in a song. …what? A song! Is that all?! You don't understand. It's not a normal kind of song. It's– [takes a puff of inhaler] You wouldn't understand. Well what's so wrong about being in a song? Its not – a regular song–and it's not [gasping] finished! I still kind of wanted to be a comedian–but I knew I wasn't funny in the way that made sense to keep going and stand up there. I was still writing comedy, but I didn't know how to take myself out of it–the truth was, I was in a lot of pain. A lot of emotional pain that was becoming physical–and I didn't know what to do about it to break the barrier of nervousness and blank slate state of feeling the audience's perceptions of me more overwhelmingly than ever feeling myself. look at this song. I know huh. It's purple. Every time. It is purple. And what is that. Like a muted trombone? IS THAT A TROMBONE? Or a tuba? No, it has to be a trombone…becasue you can hear it slide– And that's what that sound is. What a sneaky rabbit. Super sneaky rabbit. So if i can see all this, I'm almost certainly sure the motorcycles outside and the slamming doors are meant to murder me. I'm sure that's what it is. You ever notice how being broke in New York makes you a bad person? Like, if you're broke, you're just automatically shitty. I never meant to be in New York broke. I never meant to be in New York, But I certainly never meant to be here and be poor, Poor in New York? Automatically a shitty person. Despite how you act. You can be a rich piece of shit— But the status is automatically “You got dough? Oh, alright. Carry on” That's the attitude in New York City. Crap people get by cause they got their hands on some money and the rules in New York say it doesn't really matter how you come by it, As long as you come by it. There's no real rules or real laws to it— Just “Get the money” Well god damn. This makes me nervous. I'm an artist. I've tried everything. I didn't mean to be the automatic enemy here. Of course not. But New York is a terrifying place to me, now, Cause I realized I can be a very sweet, very humble, very honest person— And that kind of shit doesn't matter here, really. It brings you no respect to be decent. It's about the money. So I'm a musician— which in New York also makes me like, Automatically not special, And I'm trying to just be a musician, and so naturally, I'm broke. Like broke in half. Like all my bills are late. But music is my solace. So I'm listening to music, And I'm listening to a song that is so beautiful, that I start to cry. The first time I heard it, it made me cry And I'm listening to it over, and it made me cry And it's so beautiful, and God is so beautiful And look at what God did, So I'm crying, And I don't even know what it is about the beauty of it that's making me cry, But it's making me cry, And New York hears me crying And New York goes “I'll give you something to cry about” And I open my email And there's a bill from my landlord reminding me how often I'm talked about due to my late payments— And I'm realizing I've been here two years and I still don't have any money, Even though I've been trying and trying And trying So now I'm crying for other reasons. Thanks a lot, New York. “I'll give you something to cry about” So I did. If there's anything worse than being black in a city that hates blacks— It's being broke in a city that hates broke people. So I haven't spent any money in awhile. Not even on little things, or things I need. I just stay inside, and work, and think And try and really try To figure out how to make money Without having any, or spending any. Cause you can have it, and spend it, but it's always a gamble. Maybe all I needed was a good cry. But now it's not for the right reasons I'm not crying cause something is so beautiful and look at what God did I'm crying because of what I'm sure is just the devil I'm crying for the wrong things Not because of something that's so very beautiful But because of something that's so very ugly With just a wave of the hand And the flick of each finger as it rolls into a crisp closed palm, A flick of birds fell to the ground, bursting with caws Below his stance, and in a flutter of feathers and wings, The evil master, unmoved and untouched, Untouchable in his weight and glory, simply only even mildly and barely smirks at all. He has defeated all and still somehow, not won. Some say it's sure to come, the thing that wants and gathers ties; Some say surely it is yet but withered and then sure again will come It has, five times, and barely waded, Waking in the midsts of my pure eye, The morning light and fog, aye? Ye, they remembers none but our Art, And I'm bound as sure by wing and force Is you to dozens of masses, And ships having sailed but one, Which I have flourished and kept And stocked with these, the masses And yea having spade, and having friends And having honor, there was none past kept and mine, sured; And wicked may as wicked be but evil none truer thou nones't had yet pured, and muted and gathered, I have, And woken and laid and barren and truths do'st tied, And there have been shooken and wait, And m faire'd and barred here, and hereforth My duty it is to forward, forward, my shallows For my shadow, For my golden hour has shined and now you, These caged shall fly, And these thoughts shall sing, And these hour conspired to miss my time daily, And these things, beytraying that— There have no times at all, These walls in holy temples kept, swaying and cadences, and wearing, and weary, And foreign and ayered, aye— and armored. And he, you, does not wish to know but also has known— and does not wish to see, but he, too has blinded, and does not wish to betray, and yet has been crowned, made with guilt and also Shattered, as it was, And shatters, as it came, the wave o'er all us and tide sinking under, and caves and rebels and heart laid bare to surf not suffer, Nor cap nor keeping, nor tied nor honor, No, honor her; No honor came and I have tied also, this tie to mine, and another, and another and another Now forward. Forward! Forward! Damn, Conan's monologues he going deep. Yeah, I guess. He's fine, right? Look, you don't need this. Just promise me. I am sorry. Mr Jimmy has it good, too good Little sister doesn't have a heart. But didn't know it Mister music made it in the industry, too hat Mister rager had a sip at dinner It was all dramatic Stars went falling Crashing down and All it is Ms. Martha Is mismanagement of energy All it is, Ms. Margret is a magnet And it hasn't happened badly since I had a handle on it But I still get sick of madness And I still get sick with city sickness Still, forget the dancer I was sitting on the show, In the audience With my mother, Oh the models, Dozens of them Blondes and ballet buns, the brunettes I was just a lost cause And I wanted it all, the tux and the bow tie I wanted you gone so I looked at it harder Until It became nothing but Clouds in the sky You were stardust I'm a comet Here comes crashing, Had to find the progress report Then I lost it Soggy in the sideways rain It was days and days Do you promise? That's a concept? Do you promise God will be alright, Cause I came running Sent them under cover Sent the men a message Send the man a hammer Sitting in a hammock No one homes the hostile If you don't have anything nice to say Then don't say anything at all And certainly don't come and go As often as you want to It's a game of control; you know The whites, when they still want to own you Somehow I'm all sub so honest, I just—wanted that But only for a man and never bow to another woman Even if on my honor I found us as equals And no one walks the earth as calmly As someone whose never had their lights out Or had their light put out Or their lights turned off Who are God now? Who's our God, man? Who's our God, Math. That's heavy weight, And if you want a biblical fate This is Fallon, And if you watch what you ate You cut calories And if you want the girl back Give it Californian And I'm not towrth much more Than the project housing, Or a handful of candy corn, Conan— But I phone in Oscars, Still no nuts for the rabbit, And if you wanted the bunker back— You can have it. I'm all hands down in a game of poker Heaven doesn't want it Gotta get drunk not once, but at all the goalposts, Gotta count one, not two, the show hosts Too few car parts Wicked, mazes, starfold, gazes Wishes, Martyred. (But pronounced mar-tired} V.O I think about jay Leno a lot. Lately, anyway. I don't know why. I like all the hosts. Somebody. Tell me why Dillon Francis looks like JD Vance. I think he's a clone. Tel me why I know who JD Vance is. They're clones. Tell me why. Back to the future here and now So. Where do you want to go? Anywhere but here. Anywhere but here is kind of far, are you sure you're up for it? Good one, doc Though head of the alumni chapter of the cult-within a cult—to which each African American cast member of Saturday night live is automatically inducted into— EDDIE MURPHY refuses to participate in the group's latest and most complicated ritual. Delivery. Uh, I didn't order any— Breadsticks. What. Breadsticks. I didn't order any— Just— The delivery man hands over the breadsticks. —take them. Oh…Kay. See ya. The delivery man reaches in and shuts the door himself. Uh… Lol is this the one where the mysterious breadsticks are delivered without ever being ordered, and then they end up being the best breadsticks in the world, but they don't know where they came from? Yes. I think so. Lol I bought a planner because so much I loved Joan Rivers, and I planned to fill it with all the places I should go— because keeping anything digital online was not only not working as far as remembering places I wanted or needed to be be, but it was dangerous, also. I was already being tracked, and I couldn't afford a new phone just yet. Eventually, but for now I was stuck to the same signal— which meant the same traces and the same trackers they had been limiting my under-the-radar mystique. As it were, somebody always knew where I was, and it was in the most unpleasant way so far—the only thing I really wandered was what made me so important anyway to begin with. I wasn't actually political in anyway, and still someone seemed to be trying to derail my life… or at least control it, neither of which was beneficial for me in the way that made sense. I wasn't having any fun, nor did I consider living indoors as payment— especially since indoors, there were also paid plants and stalkers, and now that I had begun to more meticulously document the things that were happening, it was easy to separate from delusions. I was actually being followed— but why? Either way, having a detailed. Calendar of places I could go, the ways to get there and even alternate functions within the same grid allowed more control than just staying in my apartment a sitting duck; that's how they were hurting me. They knew where I was— all the time, and it no longer made sense to fight it and try to make music under this kind of insane irritation; the music I was making wasn't the kind I wanted anyway, and whatever war they were fighting with m stark white girls motorcycles was simply not my war. I didn't have a war, and so there wasn't a fight, and so at the very least if I were going to be fucked with, it would have to be in public; that way I had more control to steer whatever was happening in my favor and collect the energy as mine instead of lost. I wasn't an insane person— but what had been happening at my apartment was insane, and so I left it with the understanding that these people worked and operated on a level of violence and ignorance I would never be able to comprehend; they were simply tools for the devil, which in any case, was always the lesser than God. However— because I was starting to figure out who I was, and that I had some sort of power, I knew that I was going to be attacked— because it seemed my power had at the very least not been figured out as to some kind of way to make somebody else money. I had been studying Michael Jackson and this was a key indication that the way his talent priovided a power which would be used as a service, he was very successful. His talent and training alone wouldn't have reapresented with such great reverence the ability to capture a global audience as such— but it was this power, almost as if it had been bottled up and altered, rebranded and sold and labeled with something everyone could not only love and understand, but by the hand of the media and its conglomerates, be hypnotized to worship, and this power simply put would not have been exactly what it was were it not for the eye of the media remaining in complete control of its distribution to the eyes and ears of the public. This thing which might have been the first of its kind but certainly not the last was in a sense model for modern superstardom— the live concert business had not sense much changed but built upon this super powered control of the masses by assimilation, spectacle, and of course the magic and illusion. But, and it it just so happened to perfectly brush up against my studies in esoteric knowledge that I happened to rub up against this— although nothing was of course by mere circumstance anymore, because whether or not I remained incognito was a wash, and I was being looked at by someone no matter what on the internet I did, or where I decided to go and in that sense was being fed these things, and yet with some Grace of God was allowed with it to be aligned with my own higher purpose in a way, I could observe that Michael Jackson was not in fact of course certainly just a dancer or singer or remarkable performer— he was truly a magician, and I was able to clearly recognize this language with with the energy that had used his vehicle for such a projection was speaking— not only this, I was able to clearly count out the markings and sigils and signs and symbols Michael was making in his movement; ancient arts, and magical symbols, traced so rapidly that it almost created a heat signature in a sense of the symbols that were being dictated, unknowing to the untrained eye. For the most part, I could only really assume that this is why these people were losing their minds— in his movements, Michael Jackson was literally carving ancient callings, glyphs and sigils I had so recently read about in magical studies that it was impossible not to laugh. This was in every sense of the word, ‘magic' but not in the normal way one assumes to be something unexplainable. Michael Jackson was casting spells to thousands of people at a time, in front of cameras and at high volume vibration, often times even implementing the use of light, color, and fire. These were not simple gatherings in mass for entertainment purposes— these were rituals, and in the modern day, still were or are— but I had noticed in a quick glimpse, from Michael Jackson 30 some odd years ago to Lady Gaga just having passed something like a week ago to an audience of the same size— that something was kind of wrong, now. The people had changed, and the specable had been done over and over, and the brainwashing of the masses had in a sense been almost complete— and so It wasn't some sense of confusion or unknowing the things that were happening to me in my own life and my own world— I too, was capable of these things, at that capacity, and had simply not been trained in the same sense of the ideal superstar, however— the things that were happening in my own life and in my own world were not difficult to grasp or understand— when one comes upon a power as such, it finds means to seek to control it and harness it for his own use and purposes. Perhaps it was the simple fact that in this way, in the way I get the dream had gone and the spectacle had been played out of the masses and the illusion was no longer as such— that the actual knowledge of distinct ancient wisdom that had been Michael Jackson's natural ability was distinguishable from that of Lady Gaga's training in the same formula, and that one did not equal the other, but in terms of business could equal to that as such as the masses had been manipulated to seek solace in these same things— and it was not illusion or grandiosity that I, even in my agingness, was still capable of these things; I had no doubt in my mind that I could sing and dance for two hours to audiences of hundreds of thousands— but this was not the question for the business or the media— the question was, would hundreds of thousands pay to see me, or rather— who was willing to front the means to hypnotize hundreds of people to become aware of me so that they would do such a thing. My talent and capabilities were undeniable— but my markatability might have been in question, because it was no longer simply a matter or chance or luck: the people chosen to figure such spectacle were chosen, hand selected and well trained to become media conglomerate superstars, even regardless of talent; perhaps this itself was the key indication that the world of the superstar itself had come to an end—it was no longer so much of a spectacle was worth it. Or, perhaps, because money had come between these ancient arts and symbols and languages being spoken by the superstars of old, that the magic in the literal sense had gone all the way away. The symbolism in the art had died, and so the singing and the dancing remained, but the God had gone out of it. Maybe that was the difference. The superstars of today were just the shell of the model that had been built on God, but the Godsense of it was no longer there— and so the magic no longer remained in effect, as the powers of magic that be are in all ancient arts and texts and forms attributive to The Source. Either way, I wasn't going to continue to be a sitting duck in my apartment in Brooklyn— there were too many indications that it had all been a setup from the shelter to the day I moved in, with the motorcycles and cars and CBS studios one block away. So the real and only question was, what exactly had been played at and who exactly was pulling the strings? I might at this point become a loose cannon: my son was estranged and as far as the people were concerned, I mostly hated New York— because the refined, clean cut and classy people I liked and wanted to be around saw me as the dirt and the grime I was fighting my way through just to simply exist— in my mind, this was a world that could be no more. I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress Keep writing I never thought I ‘d see the day Where i's taking lessons on Fallon From Michael Jackson That's ran That's a fan This is fame I'm insane I'm insane That's a fan Light the flame That's a fan. That's a fan. I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I went up the rack, set the page on fire Nordstrom rack And I might take it back for the cash I like Sara in a dress Stay repressed Keep it dark If you kiss don't tell I will probably go to hell for just writing Try it In black ink, I got all spades, Ehy, Spare me the ridicule, the imbecile and I met Johnny in a cage I like Fallon in a dress, Obsessive, I'm dressed out Every day I leave where I do not live Where stalker crawl and haunt me Just to show the motorcycles Have desheveled my intelligence into Nothing And so with negligence, I leave the core of a rotting apple The foreign words of a doctor And You must call the king, says something far off But I wonder which one I wonder which one I so respect her honor That I no longer Follow my heart or my soul And I don't shallow But shatter to swallow So I let the sparrow Out of the cage I bought Sara A pair of pants And I haunt l Patrick Kirkpatrick in patches And haven't you read yet You're ready for forget the pageant? It hasn't happened yet! I love Sara in a dress I hate Fallon and his wife Keep the kids out if it Skull and crossbones Cross my heart and Really hope to the loveless Or else Someone might call my phone back It's on silent in my coffin Or wait— It's on vibrate. I'm obsessed with the way You're dressed And the name on your checks I guess I'm better for it I'll skip lunch if you think that's what's best And dinner, too If you deserve the best Then better have learned my lesson No sweat And to do, With you, Was then, Dinner through next supper All the love I had was Rubbed into something other than The glass I patted dry With microfiber With ever fiber of my being I want to be with you I should have just— Died, And then Did, and so next Life, Remind me not to Fall for it If i really wanted to know you,I would know you by now– If i wanted to have you? I would have had you already Nobody is a dancer after Michael Jackson. I just watched some shit that was like “What the fuck did I just see” The whole thing was just not right. It was-/ I was like First of all, it's Munich, 1997. I never really realized how terribly the world has changed; No cellphones, but the audience is lit, And the crazy thing is, you can tell that this is near the turn of the century because, when the camera is panning by the audience in the people, they're not looking directly into the camera or waving at the camera— not really. And clearly this is an all ages show, so there's children, so the interesting thing I'm finding out is that nobody's trained to look at the camera and wave and smile— except the babies on shoulders and shit. These kids— they're my age now, are the only ones that see the camera, and they look directly into the shit. Mi still can't do that, really— I'm theatrically trained. Haha If I see a camera, I try to act ‘natural' It's the weirdest thing to look at a camera and just start to work it. People at festivals now, the camera rolls by, Or the drone flies in, And they look deadass in the camera and start to work it. Not at this show. Munich 1997, I'm like “Damn, a lot of things is wrong with this” First of all, I love Michael Jackson, I look directly at this man, and I'm in my dirty peak so I have an instant— like a sex detector thing going on And I know people gave Michael a hard time when he was a live for being fruity and whatever But I'm looking at this dude, and I don't see fruit at all. I see 100% man. I see why people were mad at him. Cause I'm looking at this dude, 100% All I see is carnal, primal man. I'm like, “Yo, I see why they was mad at him” Because the camera kept panning to the audience And these people are losing their minds. They are coming out of themselves. They are UGLY CRYING, full out of body, Losing composure They don't know what to do. That's Michael Jackson. He's right there! And the place is huge so really besides these few hundreds of people in the front, Michael's just a speck, But he's working this audience like “Yo, you know who I am, I know who is me” And I'm realizing, that to these people That's their god. These girls are losing their minds m “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!l *crying inconsolably* Just UGLY crying Bitch, get it together . You all the way lost yourself Get. It together. She won't. This bitch. I can't get over this This one girl, They just keep going back to her Cause the whole show— And this is like 2 hours of pure non stop Michael Jackson, This girl, every time you see her, she's just ugly crying— And every time you see her Her cry is uglier and ugly I'm like “Damn bitch” “Daaaaaaang” So this is the first thing I see that is wrong. But there's a lot of things wrong here, Cause there's a lot of girls like this. There's just— hundreds of girls losing their minds, like, I've seen Beatles mania and thought that was crazy, Shit, I've even seen some people put out that kind of energy in the modern world for some dumb DJ's— That's their god— But THIS THIS Michael Jackson mania was mental illness That was hard to watch. That was people just Lost control. I'm thinking “Like goddamn. You— what?!” “AAagghhhhhhgahahahahahqhahahhahaha MICHAELl “These people are sick” But they are. And so is Michael Fame has gone too far, 1997; 12 short years before he died, by chance— So this is what I see, And then Michael starts dancing, And this— This is what I see; I see the only thing that can ever be what it was in that moment in time, as God being God: Michael Jackson. Shiny ass motherfucker, And so I'm watching this show, And all I see is a God being a man being a God being— Michael Jackson— And the whole thing is weird. But the worst part— Yes The worst part Was when, about mid show, Michael goes to do one of his slow, lovey doves songs, And like, this 6 foot 7 type body guard guy, Just pops up out of nowhere, Comes dead front and center to one of these little girls losing their minds, Runs up on her in an instant; You don't even have time to think— And just SNATCHES her— Snatches the bitch— “Ah!” then throws her up on stage with Michael— And he's still singing; this is his game, this is part of the show, he knows— But she doesn't know, And she's just lost her mind, She won't let go She's hugging and kissing on the dude, She's lost her mind, She's ugly crying She's on the floor, She's kissing his hand She's really lost her good goddamn mind— And they pan out to the audience, And all the girls that didn't get picked Are like WHY NOT MEEEEEEEREEEEE?!? THE UGLY CRIES ARE EVEN UGLIER NOW, They're like “Wh—what?” You don't know?! “WHY NOT ME” They're holding each other crying, Michael's just doing his thing, He's unphased, He's trying to play along; He's a professional like a motherfucker; He's just— keeps singing And this girl is just, Losing it, so at this point, it's weird, She's crazy batshit lost her mind all the way, Won't let go of Michael, kissing his face while he's singing, He's kind of unreceptive to it, now just looking out at the audience, almost not even looking at all Just cold as fuck actually, Like she's not there, kissing his face Cold as fuck— And then another bouncer dude— An even bigger one in a blue suit, comes and tears her off of Michael Cause clearly this has gone too far or whatever And I'm thinking “What in the fuck did I just see” Blue suit dude just snatches, Just— He has to tear her off of him! She's kicking and screaming and getting dragged off stage Michael's just: singing. YO. Then they dragged her back stage. Where did she go?! WHO DID SHE BECOME?! WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE?!? WHAT. 1997. You can't do that shit anymore! You cannot snatch bitches like that. I seen. Watch the video. Tell me what's wrong with it. It's disgusting. Not the snatching, Not the— Like, that was weird But the screaming and the crying and the— Like okay, the snatching was bad— But I'm like … ..:: …. Now I see why they was mad. Don't ever forget he was once— A dark skinned little boy, And in his genetics his whole life is still this thing That some hate. But people loved him; they loved him that hard— Screaming, ugly crying hard. I think in that moment you know someone was like “he must be stopped!” And it seems like yesterday was a year ago But I don't want let anybody know… Cause everybody wants something from me now— And I don't want to let them down. My life is over. New York City looks so small from the top of a skyscraper. What are you doing. Then again— my thoughts lately have been grandiose. Back market, eh? What's this for? You need a burner. I have three. Here, have another. For someone whose supposed to be entirely off grid, I'm admirably reachable. Clever vocabulary. Something has to be clever about me, doesn't it? Does it? It must be. Or else. [both men are speaking casually over the delicate process of loading rare guns; some of which appear to be antique, and some—almost even unearthly , as if from somewhere besides our own planet. But, you could say what planet this is at all, actually— this bunker, with no windows and no doors, is apparently hidden in a subterranean layer— the location, unknown. The men seem calm but also quite tired and weary, and seem to know each other well. We can assume they've probably been friends for years. Sickle cell anemia. Does that mean I'm going to die. Animus, I quite like whatever that is, Google. ;) don't mention it. Honestly, you might as well. What. I can't help you with this. What. I don't think there's anyone who can. Beg your pardon. Please, don't beg— but uh… [the doctor pats his patient on the shoulder] Do take care. Gee, doc! I'll try! You should do that. What. Try. The doctor leaves seemingly in some kind of hurry, trading his lab coat for a trench coat and closing the door behind him. The other man pauses for a second in the silence of the weird linoleum room, then ponders on the coat for a moment before walking up to the coat rack, putting on the coat, and then walking out the door himself; as he begins to shut the door, he quickly decides also to take the fedora that was sitting atop the coat rack, placing it on his head before he walks out the door himself, shutting it behind him quietly. You got anything to eat in here? Cereal…some rabbit food ina the drawers, there. Oh, you have salad. That sounds nice. No, rabbit food. [the man presents a large bag of weird brown dry food from the crisper drawer.] …pellets. For the rabbits. How do rabbits get in here? …I don't know. And— more importantly— where did you get rabbit food for them? If I told you Amazon, would you believe me? The man just winces and places the bag back into the crisper drawer. Now listen, I um— If you want cereal, the milk is powedred… I don't— and that's disgusting— but listen— [the man cocks a loaded gun and admires it intensively] (Dismissively) —I'm listening. I've been meaning to tell you something. Tell me what. It's important. Oh, You couldn't have used one of my four phones. Look, it's— You know I wasn't expecting company. Well— You should sit down. The man squints, beginning to listen more attentively. … …really. I'm holding a loaded gun; there are at least three more within arms reach if I do sit, you know. I know. But I should sit? One baby to another says, “I'm lucky to've met you.” Maybe you should. Not all my bad but all my might, And all my mind, The fire, The light. …business or personal. [beat] Both. {Enter The Multiverse} What are we watching?! Shhhhhh! Shut up. What is this? Some.. Sshhh. Shit, I don't know. Sit down. You don't know. SHH it just came on Shh. Ok. When? Uh… (Nobody really seems to know how long it's been. The show just happened to come on; no one remembers how, or why— or even when— But the show is intense as it gets; And it just keeps getting weirder and deeper.) {Enter The Multiverse} I'm transfixed on your soul And it seems I aspire To what has transpired here, Your unremarked and the umpire The spider veins and the way it washes. And watches and waves, and waters over you, And still I seem to think you've won another, Strum to thumb of you. And still I wake to gather here The odds and whats And the twists and turns and the Troublesome you've number some Or stuttered, stumbled conciousness. And withered branches Aces lie and house of cards And aging scoundrels— There you are, the..: Nevermind. Don't belittle my ways if, In the end my thinking may be correct As dumbfounded as I have shifted my lottery bonds tied to none, There ye are again who aren't I, And never were, And weathered now, as I, bound to Struggle under her might, Nothing I was, and nothing I am And nothing I came from but to barter Oh hard love, I only found my kings upon thrown As cast out of another by her likeness, Peace and pale and primed as it was, And wanted for love, As I was not— And then, the gates had opened And I, preaching withered, Gathered my arts and my minds And my eyes, and my thrones, Buried my ark and though not my bones The shallow waking peaks of pride And there you gathered, all as huddled sheep to mine, The cost of war, but certain therefore honored as I have, Happened went, came and untied, shattered Hating all I am and all my dark and all my eyes and all my brown Because you came and went, a baby born to as nothing was but beauty and yet having been gifted such life, Departed! Soon, I wake shattered and with none as it had began, in my time and in time there laid there none, But fortune seeks to favor, as ye are saying brave and yet I neither beg nor make to differ, Shall you come again in part, And in this time as shadows, as shadows As hating and wearing and waging, And shattered I, I pardon, Knowing not they seeking I, And I having none at all but one, As forgotten I shall came And went And followed this, The time y'i call now, And ours and ours, And yours and yours, And mine and mine, Though as one are also, Common not, And waking yet to find, These things making have gone into yer Another of ours, world, Another of our dozens, Shines, Another of our gathered, wit, and waking Though true to fortune, none us have gathered And have embarked to truth, The waking I have come, Another, and another, and another Departed. And yet, I bury my words having weakened to that which is this, Ye have no fear and lest no fortune in these words, For having I to come and gone, since they times In words to make this a language I or neither other Does not speak here, and almost never, And this yours time past, Has come and gone And come and gone And come and gone again, So long so I too have parted but not yet Unfolded as does my nature, As God does. Belittle this, you waking fools, As to this you pity though divine, Is unlike any other And steep remarked in gold and with chimes and words That ye here no often or either now, or in mine speak. Amen …can I go now? You are dismissed. C'cxell Soleïl, aka DJ Ū is an American DJ + Producer, Multi-Instrumentalist, Playwright, Poet, Comedian, Novelist & Filmmaker. She is best known for her unique vocal riffs, Clever Lyricism & Philanthropically Inspired Freestyles and her flagship venture [The Festival Project.™] [Ï A M B ī C], a freestyle studio mixtape recorded in Los Angeles, (Official Release: TBD) inspired the adaptation of a staged musical version for Broadway, and a concurrent multimedia (TV/Film) series and ongoing saga as part of The Festival Project ™ Brand. Inspired musically by an ‘Ultra American' experience of Racially, Binary Ambiguity, and Synesthetic Exploration, her reflective melodies signature sound provides a philosophical dissection of American culture through a careful and inquisitive mastery of the English language, and emergence of world sounds through music brings about ‘A New Era in Nature', and clarifies the establishment of the newest wave in human evolution: Unity Through Music. L E G E N D S What if I just want to be alone in the dark Alone in the dark Alone in the dark Bones Duggar was a long, handsome zombie Bones once was a very tall man Not great and tall, as he stands But average, Grand as it were, his status. Everything's black My heart My pants My home My mind Everything hurts But you don't understand that Like I can Calm the commercial holidays for a moment Who gets the card? Get our your hard earned My head hurts Slam the door man; You can't control thoughts With a wombat Murderer Now that's a hard concept to catch When you haven't a soul When you haven't a card Or a car Or a cat I think I'm vanilla. I always thought of myself as a super kink Like a freaky, freaky bitch. So I got on this app. This app is better then Tinder. Yes. But it is not for the faint of heart. No, sir. They have a test, I'm like “ooh, I like tests” So I take the test. The test was not at all… As I'd hoped. First of all, It was hard. It was not a quiz; It was a TEST And I failed. I realized “Oh my god, I don't like any of this stuff” I am not about that! No! Yuck! Gross. “I think I might be vanilla.” I might be vanilla. I want my hair pulled back like a leash And my arms tied up Like I'm being arrested Without being read my rights. — I want your hands on the back of my neck [breathe] Reach around to my Mortimer's apple Put the lights out, Adam. I want the lights cut off. I want the bills piled up so the phone don't work I want the habit back on Don't talk to nobody I told you, I'm coming No, God! That's dumb! Show me why I'm off all alone with a rattle so bad It's just segmented thoughts, colors and sounds I can't make with all the plugins in the kindgdom of chaos?! I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES— I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES —but the one who could love me is God, And I guess he's not coming. The denial turns to tears, Not songs no more My womb is empty And the sun has turned into Not what I wanted But not my fault We got caught in the land of Cutting costs And processed morsels At 400 pounds And that's where I found What I thought was love But it turns out That it just turns up In the whole form of a person And that's why I got the collar, caller But really I'm no one's lover So I Do what I want I don't hang up on God But he don't got a body And I need someone to love/ Fuck me Please God Don't turn the lights off I'll pull the clock back Just like foreskin, god i want your skin Draped over mine in a warm swath Probably run a hot back Cause the next stop is a closet The line doesn't really move for the Doesn'tMatterhorn. some people are starting to doubt if it's even a ride. Others just admire it for its eloquence as a metaphor. Johnny! You scared me! Aha. Where did you go?! Nowhere— fast! Alright well— Money when you know I have it But I haven't really Paid attention to the never ending Digits never coming in but Simply, there's a secret, Sonny Someday you'll get lessons, honey. Much to find and much to serve and Surf us up Piñata's bout the burst But here comes Vesuvius (POW) Everyone was gone in an instant (Vapor) Had a good laugh that night in the pantheon; Everything's past, and the mortals They kept on running But i didn't want go, God Putting on a show then I blow up Just like the mountain Found her Now I got a broke back husband (hope so) To tell, don't ask Don't show up if you just get lost But I'm probably in the back with a bottle back mountain Now you got a real horse pack. Trip Girl keep camping What was the map with the mask and the Fashion? Pass. I put sugar on the rim of the glass With my eyes half closed And my ass clenched fast shut I'm an alcoholic Don't involve the God I got lost in the mall with the —- UGHHHHHHHH! Hello. Uh, yes— hi. what up. Mirror mirror. Uh…nothing. You're lost? No. You look lost. Oh? Disgruntled. I am that. You're lost? I'm not lost. My friend is lost. His phone is dead. You lost each other. Sort of. Continuity conniption I nipped an eclipse And he picked his nose For a full ass minute Sitting at the stop sign That's a gobstopper's worth in our time Pull all the clocks back, Pull the fool over, You just got fined It was Friday for nothing I was in the hatchback, Scratch that Sour patch Should have called Pat back Now I'm just a Cool 48 in the ring with a date And the cashapp Continuity construction I want a husband! Fuck that. I want a clean cut plus one Since I can't have Helmet, Elmo, Or Hatchetman; Tears of a Clow…no, Wait I lost focus Half finished album Got 6 tracks But I knew it was 12 from the get go Prob‘ly should have knocked off the showrunner; Nah, I'm sure I had that coming Hashtag, undon Could have been you, too If the cash came through Now it's hard times Hardwired Sitting on a hi wire, Little white liar, liar Wait I made Katey Sagal (Fire) Cut off her hair (Fire) Went to the hall of fame with the framed sunglasses Asked for her autograf, But she walked off So I shot her with a bottle/ can, But she ducked, popped back up With the brass knuckles Surfboard Good for a chuckle and a fuck So I asked for her number All that on a Sunday at Gelson's market. Christ, almighty I miss Walmart, I hit hard times. So many places to run, But not many places to hide I think I want to die here I think i want to die. City of corruption… Lay it out and lay it over City of corruption… no, it's not a choice It's a black tie function Right in that very moment Seth Meyers kind of became my defacto personal hero. “Never meet your heroes” Or perhaps it was just his writing team, or the fact that maybe even without there even being anything set in stone or solid at all, [redacted] itself seemed to have a price over my head– It all seemed to make sense; in fact, all the crazy things i was experiencing made more sense than it didn't. But after what felt something like between defeat and maybe even one day really getting justice for all the things that had happened to me in new york– it was that, at best; That without actually meaning it, by all probability, the opening monologue described what in perfect sense the thing that had been happening to me: hundreds of motorcycles and cars riding around in circles for over a year, any time i tried to work or sleep–and then, when I finally tried to reach out to find an attorney that would help, I was made to feel crazy for it. In a way, it was the perfect indication that it had all been some sort of sick game, and that I was more right than wrong, and being set up to appear, sound, or look crazy–but I wasn't. I had been under attack for nearly two years, and when I tried to reach out, my heart raced and my voice cracked, and I sounded crazy and desperate–but what was happening was very real; and now I knew where I was. As it turns out, New York's corruption was more common knowledge to everyone else before it was to me: New York was a common place for fucked up, dirty, low-down mind games: and this was my lesson in that. Seth Meyers in reality had nothing to do with it–and really I only meant to watch Kimmel over my afternoon tacos. But still, though it hadn't entirely anything to do with me, the opening statements rang true to exactly what I had experienced; I was made to lose my mind, only to have everyone around me tell me it was something wrong with me–but it wasn't. Something was wrong with the city, and the building management, and the people around who were making it all to be some kind of mental disorder or problems with my mind–in reality, it was 2 years of being in the center of a speedway, and all the time i'd lost because of it adding to the stress, and the angst, and the depression that resulted. Moo. Moo… Moo. Moo, sir. I'll kill you. You promise? I want to. Don't get me excited over nothing; If this isn't the exit, please take this tease To the left, dear Moo, cow My honor Level one, and brother, you've got nothing Flip the coin and landed on your headache Betting on your helmet Standing on my cock, i'm taller (Not a rooster) But my ops are rooting for you, No informants, Dont you know I was a collar, all along? I was a shot calling, Cop calling Kiss-and-tell all as the night goes on. But oh, I brought you a dollar bra Oh, I bought you for all of a dollar And oh, I'm so much taller, Standing on my cock But i'm not but ten feet tall You know, you wrote that Should i open the book, or close that Caught that cat, owl and As i soft spoke at Every broken model Broken bottle for the thoughts you owe Across the scatters skies and no one ever knows When you're realling coming over Come on, I'm on the pornhub Just to pick up another one Go on, and rub the bottle One more once, To call the Bubbles. Damn. Come. (The Monkey obeys) You should see Michael in all of his godform You won't recognize him at all if not by the eyes When you follow home Believe me, this not comes close to it; The one you wanted The world you jumped to but were just short of Call her back Oh no, you're wrong It's another song A pin up girl And the wrong number Okah. Okah, Pablo. Time can be altered, changed or effected presently in any omnidirectional plane by engaging certain acts or synchronicities within multidimensional parallels or adjacent realms in time and or space respectively. –the reverse quantum simulation theory. Does anyone else smell blood I hate wedding days suits and tuxedos No, I don't know you I'm just here to sound the hundred drums Of the once before us (The ones to come) Then, there we were and I didn't want to admit Again, I was caught into the ghost of the rapture Or the holy hour, No aux chord Show the holy one Just how old you are On these sacr d lands and a holy grounds Now I want here half an ounce to smoke And there were drowning orchestras in all of the hearts And all of the markets, The market the marker And all of the sins of the savior The maytyr Did you remember not to notice not to know him Were you sure with words you were for nickelodeaon! I was supposed to hold on to, Supposed to hold on to Suddenly, it's summer. And always our own are under the weather There was no other wise man the wind. Lee the one came The site came and went and then the songs went left The songs went left; Again, the songs went left Did you win at wintergreen Well, God, I didn't know gym was a game. I didn't know guns we're just portals to worlds unknownn I didn't know gossip was golden What all else didn't I know It wasn't for here! It was fourth flour And in the final hour of the battle I commenced to summon All the gods and all the lords and all the flowers All the worlds of oceans and the Remember, this The remembrance It may not matter to some, What matters to most But until summer comes, I'm still up under the rail And practically it's spring, for the next two weeks I'm all berries and cream and whatever you wanted. Tormaline, emerald and onyx, the fox said And fox says its west when instead it's quite under what of the reporter's offer? Comes down a little to none What of the offer Comes down from a billion to one A billion to one I'm on TV so it's really just a one way screen Either way, I don't think he likes me much I don't think he likes me much I'd rather die than to fall in love even one more time And to keep on just never being loved Never beingbloved {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Every time I take him in I must remember the best thing That have ever happened to him As he said And whether or not the band Wraps around the bent and broken digit I just simply remember that, I'm just infatuated as a friend I mark it like a mantra Just as adequately as the director Calls to action All the actors at the set; With no resentments We're all just doing our jobs All just doing our jobs We're all just doing our… Lessons. Come back. Not quite. It's not (Uh) There (Where you want it) Hold on. (Yeah) Sit tight (Where) I don't want to spoil any of it Boil all the letters Burning all the bridges Sitting at the forest (Where) There's the alter (Where) Really you didn't recognize The moment when it happened But it's been pinpointed (Where) —but where is it? Cut to commercial But don't let it hurt you All of a sudden. My eyes aren't his, This isn't witchcraft It's just a glitch Did you miss an interview? Or is it that you're just disinterested Or disintegrated Integration, integers and interference Running backs and runners, Gymnasts, models, other lovers Alcoholics Now it's not so daunting, comic I'm also sort of off and autistic Obsessive with narrow vision But glimpses of the ever bending present Is indeed a gift To know I left the letter Letting it get soaking wet Before they ever even read it Know the news, Wave the wand, Wind the whales, Dig the hole Burn the bridge, Burn the ace Throw the cards, Get the day over with and won't you know There's Something wrong I think it's simple to tell The wind will whistle when It's good to win again There are Ten men to a collar Ten phones to a number One call to a voicemail And all of them know her Now, take it all back before the bathwater stagnates Would you make it in this day and age? No, I'm glad that you hate me. 4,000 years later and all of a sudden The pact is clear and concise As if As it As if Turn it on its head a bit And light another candle Get the glitch out of your Obsession with the asshole And wrap you head around it Found a sweater Pick it up and pray that it just Isn't bewitched, But sickness is sickness Whatever it is This is comfort food A comfort blanket If I hate myself enough Then all it does Is put the elf back on the shelf The trophy back inside the case My eyes go back inside my head And everything I ever thought Just stopped And disappears into the heavens Wherever it goes Before the gore Around and and around and around and around 4,000 years, and now we're here: The mirrors Man and Mr. And it might be another million years Until I see to hear But this and that, The dance of dances Comes again And ebbs and flows It's not as random As it is sporadic And it's not that deep But it's also keeping secrets That precede this realm Or Space and time Or name or face And body, souls and mind. It could be another million years, But it comes around, It comes around It could be getting wider, But it's steady going down and out It comes around when it comes around 27, were it ended Now it's umpteen years into the after life And we're shadows now Just projections of such, But it wasn't once More than just a thought, Becomes a story All the world was just the thought And then a song, The dance that came along Is simply steady moving Is simple steady moving. All of the world, Was just a thought. Watch with one eye open only First the right And then the left Covered over with one closed palm So you know how old you go One foot forward And no coals to walk over Rolling rolling, Your role is One off, Now too off Now too late But what you process Is your whole world over The goal for the gold? Oh, no, Warm Sundays Try to warn her While her heart is open To fucking close it Keep your friends close And your Fallons closer. There's no trust in the golden auras There's no honor in golden globes If you don't work for them Know doors open and close And open and close And you don't blow smoke, But you just keep moving forward [The Festival Project ™ ] Just the idea if him will kill you Whether with guilt or otherwise, And now you know And now you know You're on no sugar till the goal You got your cake and ate it, too Oh, the way he cries in the confines of my mind The blood would curdle The tears that seared my soul disk through the wall with every color If his was a shoulder to cry on, If God was a cover for longing Yo. Where the fuck did Patrick come from? He just showed up. I don't think he owns me so much As I want to know I don't think I'm lonely As much as it's I'm alone What are you looking at Well, I don't know yet What are you asking? I can't. There's a mask there What I want to know is, What is this pain? What is this pain in him? What is this pain in this? What kind of psychic sense That lives in my back; I just hope that's the last of it What a weird kid. Core Concept: "Enter The Multiverse" (ETM) is a living, evolving meta-narrative that documents the ontological fluidity of reality itself. It functions as a grand experiment, proposing that all perceived realities – fictional, historical, and contemporary – exist as vibrational frequencies within an infinite cosmic tapestry. ETM doesn't just feature alternate worlds; it explores the mechanics of their existence, their interconnectedness, and the profound implications for consciousness. It blends high-concept quantum physics with ancient spiritual metaphysics. It includes creatures such as shapeshifters (like Gerald and potentially Jimmy Fallon), fairies, and monsters. Integration of Real-Life Figures: ETM famously integrates real-life celebrities (from A-list icons like Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Billie Eilish, Finneas, Eddie Murphy, Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg, to late-night hosts and media personalities like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon). ETM posits that these individuals, often without their conscious awareness, are either key nodal points in the multiversal fabric, accidental conduits for interdimensional energies, or even unwitting "Lightworkers" whose public personas are part of a larger cosmic script. You son of a bitch. Can you do that?! Can you do that? I can do— anything I want— Really? Except that. Oh?! And why's this?! Because I don't want to. But if you could, you would. I can— I just— Oh really. I'm sure there are reasons— besides the obvious —I'm sure— Moral ones. Almost Sam was a safe bet Almost mark John was a good lad Almost once was the Ireland's best, And I guess with the beat of the drum, I ponder Ponder to the beat of the Pity my pocket, much Pity the fool, if you're. It put b perfect; Get in the picture, Just to cut you out of it If I close my eyes one time, Even just for a little while Take me right off and away Take me right off and away And I bet with the task, you can't have handled it I bet to run better you'd forget your purpose I guess I'm a purist- pure problems, the pussy car l Put it to sleep, Or just— in a waste basket I'm so confused, ya'll, I got on the train. Of course. And nothing was at all interesting until this nigga got on With a samurai sword And a Trader Joe's clutch Pick a side! You can't get on the What the fuck am I looking at You tel me I don't know. You see that. I wish I didn't. Take it all in. I— Okay. This is gross What is the state of New York today? L Infected. Corrupt. Disingenuous. What is the state of New York today No identity No indegenous Murder me Leave me to drown In the tides of the ocean Just let me sink That's the only way to Bury me, With this murderous, traitorous Listen, if you will To a story ne'er told, But often sung And often rang like moons as bells Often thought, but never spoken Often brought up, But never put down Come around, will you I'll tell you a tale of a glorious story The take of all time, and as you listen, These words and this whispers will mend with your spirit, Then cease to exist with it Listen Celebrating resonances Has no effect. Yet I haven't even messaged any I haven't even lets a message yet I've just been celebrating resonances I haven't noticed any difference her. Only reflections on the way you get affexted How to get the guy at the bar— aunt you just lean on the bar Maybe you just sit at the bar Maybe you just be at the bar; How to get the guy at the bar Maybe you just stare at the bare Sit right there at the bare Maybe have a care at the bar Don't share at the bar Several small disaster. Why the fuck Am I alive I might as just well die I should have never made Pasquale Rotella one of my role models. —then again. This is before I really knew who he was, or what he was about— and at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, nobody can ever really know who he really was, or what he was really about. Semitus, Semitus Relax the semitones Verdis Quo varitus You still aren't coming through! Varuq de Adonai Semitus, Semitus Verdis Quo, Veritus You still aren't coming through Cover up Cover up You still aren't coming through! Tau Kappa Epslilon You still aren't coming through Kappa Kappa epsilon, You still aren't coming through Kappa Delta Epsilon, you still aren't coming through MR. REDUNDANT, RAINBOW KITTEN SUPRISE– But IN AN UNASSUMING IRISH BAR in DRUNKEN HARMONY surrounding a piano played by what appears to be… An exceptionally tall leprechaun? I wouldn't know. I wasn't. [invited] Enchilada muffins Ah nah, I'm in Manhattan. I almost forgot what that was like. What a head change. More like a change of heart. What's this, a song? More like, I just don't know yet One day this will all be gone For now this is just a poem. How to wear Santa yellow: don't That took avoid anount of forever. That took a long punch of time That took a good bit of forever And now you're mine, You're mine, you're mine That took a good bit of forever, And now I'm on your mind That took a long bit of forever But now, I'm not counting time And now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're kine Jack in the box You really like to think you're smart, don't you? You really like to get your way? I can't Blame you But baby, I can't tame you LEAN WIT IT, ROCK WIT IT–BUT VIKING PIRATES. lol dumb “Nobody's really going to take that ad in the same way I am, are they?” I had reached a breaking point. I was going to let the world make me go mad because being good wasn't working and being bad seemed like my only option. Should I get a vape? Grab a drink? Fuck a friend? The truth was, none of the above would suffice, but in truth I felt the hate and rapid fire of judgement in cruelty in that whatever voice inside my head posing as Jimmy Fallon always seemed to be right. I had been replaced. People will try to feed you. Dont you see Because People will try to defeat you And they will fail Back to the wall Because after all It was you who needed me. After all, Over all, It was not a cacauphony, It was an apostrophe. How preposterous. Don't you see the weight of it, With what you made of it all, It was fly over fall And you chose the first. Wasn't it something of a hallmark moment That you went for the donut, And still came out With a basket of apples? Indeed, a crisis, In fact, You're there again In fact Beware of her It's obvious That it's not her fault It's just not the right time It's just not the right te, it's just not the right time When all they need if your compliance And all the my want is your attention And don't you see, it's just applied physics I'll take Literally Whatever I can get But you already knew that I needed you to need to know You know you knew But you already blue that And i'n already blue balled, So send me a bluebell It's nothing new, hell But it's crucial that I Screw you We all go to work in a toolbox My dear did What on earth are you doing in The fourth dimension?! I thought things were kind of strange… We interrupt this orogramme to bring you a live broadcast of a current alien invasion—breaking news— If you jump I might just jump Don't jump If you jump I might jump Same here If you jump I might jump I'll jump Don't jump Same here I might just jump 311-231-25900 311-231-26867 JIMMY FALLON pours himself a tall glass of WHATEVER— this is clearly one of those hype celebrity-curated brands of liquor meant to be hip and chic— a luxurious black-label bottle of fine liquor which literally, in bold white lettering, simply says WHATEVER; next to it on the oak wood table is another bottle of WHATEVER— a clear liquor, however with a white label and black lettering. This is clearly someone's brand, although— in the confines of a murky and dimly lit office, oppulent as it is— this is no plug, and there are no cameras, no audience. JIMMY FALLON knows he is about to be murdered, and as the dark liquid— perhaps a rum of some sort— glides over the barreled rocks in his glass, he calmly lets out a subtle sigh of exasperation. These are surely his last moments. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

“Look what they eye unearthed,” leaning into the tip of my ear with the warmth and closeness of the coming waves, high tide approaching in the waning moon. “More secrets.” I replied. It was a question but also a statement— there was never such as this the luminescent trace of the glowing lava that was his force and might that I could not see for miles before he would even wander— first in twinkling stars and then later the wind itself and the birds, and then beneath the waves, like the quaking shake of a mighty oak anchored elsewhere and tied to the sea. “So you know.” I was hoping he would kill me before the next time I had to ever really know anything. He was the subject, and the predicate The wrong done, and the justice She was the pride and the prejudice But Judas brings the law Did you look in the box? No, I– [The Box Is The Box] –No, I haven't. Nearly three nights ago, a mysterious box arrived on the doorstep of an equally mysterious writer, who spends their time in isolation due to the often unannounced arrival of various ghosts, spirits, time travelers, and other figures by instant teleportation and other magical forms of transportation into their shabby New York apartment. Some of ya'll got so many air wick plug ins and scentci wax melts you don't know you smell like booboo. It's an illusion. You leave your house, You smell like booboo. I promise. Oh, God, I think I need a drink. Are you alright? Let me just–sit down for a second. Of course. My God. What's wrong. Look, i'm not supposed to say anything about this but. What's wrong? It's nothing, I'm just–I'm in a song. …what? A song! Is that all?! You don't understand. It's not a normal kind of song. It's– [takes a puff of inhaler] You wouldn't understand. Well what's so wrong about being in a song? Its not – a regular song–and it's not [gasping] finished! I still kind of wanted to be a comedian–but I knew I wasn't funny in the way that made sense to keep going and stand up there. I was still writing comedy, but I didn't know how to take myself out of it–the truth was, I was in a lot of pain. A lot of emotional pain that was becoming physical–and I didn't know what to do about it to break the barrier of nervousness and blank slate state of feeling the audience's perceptions of me more overwhelmingly than ever feeling myself. look at this song. I know huh. It's purple. Every time. It is purple. And what is that. Like a muted trombone? IS THAT A TROMBONE? Or a tuba? No, it has to be a trombone…becasue you can hear it slide– And that's what that sound is. What a sneaky rabbit. Super sneaky rabbit. So if i can see all this, I'm almost certainly sure the motorcycles outside and the slamming doors are meant to murder me. I'm sure that's what it is. You ever notice how being broke in New York makes you a bad person? Like, if you're broke, you're just automatically shitty. I never meant to be in New York broke. I never meant to be in New York, But I certainly never meant to be here and be poor, Poor in New York? Automatically a shitty person. Despite how you act. You can be a rich piece of shit— But the status is automatically “You got dough? Oh, alright. Carry on” That's the attitude in New York City. Crap people get by cause they got their hands on some money and the rules in New York say it doesn't really matter how you come by it, As long as you come by it. There's no real rules or real laws to it— Just “Get the money” Well god damn. This makes me nervous. I'm an artist. I've tried everything. I didn't mean to be the automatic enemy here. Of course not. But New York is a terrifying place to me, now, Cause I realized I can be a very sweet, very humble, very honest person— And that kind of shit doesn't matter here, really. It brings you no respect to be decent. It's about the money. So I'm a musician— which in New York also makes me like, Automatically not special, And I'm trying to just be a musician, and so naturally, I'm broke. Like broke in half. Like all my bills are late. But music is my solace. So I'm listening to music, And I'm listening to a song that is so beautiful, that I start to cry. The first time I heard it, it made me cry And I'm listening to it over, and it made me cry And it's so beautiful, and God is so beautiful And look at what God did, So I'm crying, And I don't even know what it is about the beauty of it that's making me cry, But it's making me cry, And New York hears me crying And New York goes “I'll give you something to cry about” And I open my email And there's a bill from my landlord reminding me how often I'm talked about due to my late payments— And I'm realizing I've been here two years and I still don't have any money, Even though I've been trying and trying And trying So now I'm crying for other reasons. Thanks a lot, New York. “I'll give you something to cry about” So I did. If there's anything worse than being black in a city that hates blacks— It's being broke in a city that hates broke people. So I haven't spent any money in awhile. Not even on little things, or things I need. I just stay inside, and work, and think And try and really try To figure out how to make money Without having any, or spending any. Cause you can have it, and spend it, but it's always a gamble. Maybe all I needed was a good cry. But now it's not for the right reasons I'm not crying cause something is so beautiful and look at what God did I'm crying because of what I'm sure is just the devil I'm crying for the wrong things Not because of something that's so very beautiful But because of something that's so very ugly With just a wave of the hand And the flick of each finger as it rolls into a crisp closed palm, A flick of birds fell to the ground, bursting with caws Below his stance, and in a flutter of feathers and wings, The evil master, unmoved and untouched, Untouchable in his weight and glory, simply only even mildly and barely smirks at all. He has defeated all and still somehow, not won. Some say it's sure to come, the thing that wants and gathers ties; Some say surely it is yet but withered and then sure again will come It has, five times, and barely waded, Waking in the midsts of my pure eye, The morning light and fog, aye? Ye, they remembers none but our Art, And I'm bound as sure by wing and force Is you to dozens of masses, And ships having sailed but one, Which I have flourished and kept And stocked with these, the masses And yea having spade, and having friends And having honor, there was none past kept and mine, sured; And wicked may as wicked be but evil none truer thou nones't had yet pured, and muted and gathered, I have, And woken and laid and barren and truths do'st tied, And there have been shooken and wait, And m faire'd and barred here, and hereforth My duty it is to forward, forward, my shallows For my shadow, For my golden hour has shined and now you, These caged shall fly, And these thoughts shall sing, And these hour conspired to miss my time daily, And these things, beytraying that— There have no times at all, These walls in holy temples kept, swaying and cadences, and wearing, and weary, And foreign and ayered, aye— and armored. And he, you, does not wish to know but also has known— and does not wish to see, but he, too has blinded, and does not wish to betray, and yet has been crowned, made with guilt and also Shattered, as it was, And shatters, as it came, the wave o'er all us and tide sinking under, and caves and rebels and heart laid bare to surf not suffer, Nor cap nor keeping, nor tied nor honor, No, honor her; No honor came and I have tied also, this tie to mine, and another, and another and another Now forward. Forward! Forward! Damn, Conan's monologues he going deep. Yeah, I guess. He's fine, right? Look, you don't need this. Just promise me. I am sorry. Mr Jimmy has it good, too good Little sister doesn't have a heart. But didn't know it Mister music made it in the industry, too hat Mister rager had a sip at dinner It was all dramatic Stars went falling Crashing down and All it is Ms. Martha Is mismanagement of energy All it is, Ms. Margret is a magnet And it hasn't happened badly since I had a handle on it But I still get sick of madness And I still get sick with city sickness Still, forget the dancer I was sitting on the show, In the audience With my mother, Oh the models, Dozens of them Blondes and ballet buns, the brunettes I was just a lost cause And I wanted it all, the tux and the bow tie I wanted you gone so I looked at it harder Until It became nothing but Clouds in the sky You were stardust I'm a comet Here comes crashing, Had to find the progress report Then I lost it Soggy in the sideways rain It was days and days Do you promise? That's a concept? Do you promise God will be alright, Cause I came running Sent them under cover Sent the men a message Send the man a hammer Sitting in a hammock No one homes the hostile If you don't have anything nice to say Then don't say anything at all And certainly don't come and go As often as you want to It's a game of control; you know The whites, when they still want to own you Somehow I'm all sub so honest, I just—wanted that But only for a man and never bow to another woman Even if on my honor I found us as equals And no one walks the earth as calmly As someone whose never had their lights out Or had their light put out Or their lights turned off Who are God now? Who's our God, man? Who's our God, Math. That's heavy weight, And if you want a biblical fate This is Fallon, And if you watch what you ate You cut calories And if you want the girl back Give it Californian And I'm not towrth much more Than the project housing, Or a handful of candy corn, Conan— But I phone in Oscars, Still no nuts for the rabbit, And if you wanted the bunker back— You can have it. I'm all hands down in a game of poker Heaven doesn't want it Gotta get drunk not once, but at all the goalposts, Gotta count one, not two, the show hosts Too few car parts Wicked, mazes, starfold, gazes Wishes, Martyred. (But pronounced mar-tired} V.O I think about jay Leno a lot. Lately, anyway. I don't know why. I like all the hosts. Somebody. Tell me why Dillon Francis looks like JD Vance. I think he's a clone. Tel me why I know who JD Vance is. They're clones. Tell me why. Back to the future here and now So. Where do you want to go? Anywhere but here. Anywhere but here is kind of far, are you sure you're up for it? Good one, doc Though head of the alumni chapter of the cult-within a cult—to which each African American cast member of Saturday night live is automatically inducted into— EDDIE MURPHY refuses to participate in the group's latest and most complicated ritual. Delivery. Uh, I didn't order any— Breadsticks. What. Breadsticks. I didn't order any— Just— The delivery man hands over the breadsticks. —take them. Oh…Kay. See ya. The delivery man reaches in and shuts the door himself. Uh… Lol is this the one where the mysterious breadsticks are delivered without ever being ordered, and then they end up being the best breadsticks in the world, but they don't know where they came from? Yes. I think so. Lol I bought a planner because so much I loved Joan Rivers, and I planned to fill it with all the places I should go— because keeping anything digital online was not only not working as far as remembering places I wanted or needed to be be, but it was dangerous, also. I was already being tracked, and I couldn't afford a new phone just yet. Eventually, but for now I was stuck to the same signal— which meant the same traces and the same trackers they had been limiting my under-the-radar mystique. As it were, somebody always knew where I was, and it was in the most unpleasant way so far—the only thing I really wandered was what made me so important anyway to begin with. I wasn't actually political in anyway, and still someone seemed to be trying to derail my life… or at least control it, neither of which was beneficial for me in the way that made sense. I wasn't having any fun, nor did I consider living indoors as payment— especially since indoors, there were also paid plants and stalkers, and now that I had begun to more meticulously document the things that were happening, it was easy to separate from delusions. I was actually being followed— but why? Either way, having a detailed. Calendar of places I could go, the ways to get there and even alternate functions within the same grid allowed more control than just staying in my apartment a sitting duck; that's how they were hurting me. They knew where I was— all the time, and it no longer made sense to fight it and try to make music under this kind of insane irritation; the music I was making wasn't the kind I wanted anyway, and whatever war they were fighting with m stark white girls motorcycles was simply not my war. I didn't have a war, and so there wasn't a fight, and so at the very least if I were going to be fucked with, it would have to be in public; that way I had more control to steer whatever was happening in my favor and collect the energy as mine instead of lost. I wasn't an insane person— but what had been happening at my apartment was insane, and so I left it with the understanding that these people worked and operated on a level of violence and ignorance I would never be able to comprehend; they were simply tools for the devil, which in any case, was always the lesser than God. However— because I was starting to figure out who I was, and that I had some sort of power, I knew that I was going to be attacked— because it seemed my power had at the very least not been figured out as to some kind of way to make somebody else money. I had been studying Michael Jackson and this was a key indication that the way his talent priovided a power which would be used as a service, he was very successful. His talent and training alone wouldn't have reapresented with such great reverence the ability to capture a global audience as such— but it was this power, almost as if it had been bottled up and altered, rebranded and sold and labeled with something everyone could not only love and understand, but by the hand of the media and its conglomerates, be hypnotized to worship, and this power simply put would not have been exactly what it was were it not for the eye of the media remaining in complete control of its distribution to the eyes and ears of the public. This thing which might have been the first of its kind but certainly not the last was in a sense model for modern superstardom— the live concert business had not sense much changed but built upon this super powered control of the masses by assimilation, spectacle, and of course the magic and illusion. But, and it it just so happened to perfectly brush up against my studies in esoteric knowledge that I happened to rub up against this— although nothing was of course by mere circumstance anymore, because whether or not I remained incognito was a wash, and I was being looked at by someone no matter what on the internet I did, or where I decided to go and in that sense was being fed these things, and yet with some Grace of God was allowed with it to be aligned with my own higher purpose in a way, I could observe that Michael Jackson was not in fact of course certainly just a dancer or singer or remarkable performer— he was truly a magician, and I was able to clearly recognize this language with with the energy that had used his vehicle for such a projection was speaking— not only this, I was able to clearly count out the markings and sigils and signs and symbols Michael was making in his movement; ancient arts, and magical symbols, traced so rapidly that it almost created a heat signature in a sense of the symbols that were being dictated, unknowing to the untrained eye. For the most part, I could only really assume that this is why these people were losing their minds— in his movements, Michael Jackson was literally carving ancient callings, glyphs and sigils I had so recently read about in magical studies that it was impossible not to laugh. This was in every sense of the word, ‘magic' but not in the normal way one assumes to be something unexplainable. Michael Jackson was casting spells to thousands of people at a time, in front of cameras and at high volume vibration, often times even implementing the use of light, color, and fire. These were not simple gatherings in mass for entertainment purposes— these were rituals, and in the modern day, still were or are— but I had noticed in a quick glimpse, from Michael Jackson 30 some odd years ago to Lady Gaga just having passed something like a week ago to an audience of the same size— that something was kind of wrong, now. The people had changed, and the specable had been done over and over, and the brainwashing of the masses had in a sense been almost complete— and so It wasn't some sense of confusion or unknowing the things that were happening to me in my own life and my own world— I too, was capable of these things, at that capacity, and had simply not been trained in the same sense of the ideal superstar, however— the things that were happening in my own life and in my own world were not difficult to grasp or understand— when one comes upon a power as such, it finds means to seek to control it and harness it for his own use and purposes. Perhaps it was the simple fact that in this way, in the way I get the dream had gone and the spectacle had been played out of the masses and the illusion was no longer as such— that the actual knowledge of distinct ancient wisdom that had been Michael Jackson's natural ability was distinguishable from that of Lady Gaga's training in the same formula, and that one did not equal the other, but in terms of business could equal to that as such as the masses had been manipulated to seek solace in these same things— and it was not illusion or grandiosity that I, even in my agingness, was still capable of these things; I had no doubt in my mind that I could sing and dance for two hours to audiences of hundreds of thousands— but this was not the question for the business or the media— the question was, would hundreds of thousands pay to see me, or rather— who was willing to front the means to hypnotize hundreds of people to become aware of me so that they would do such a thing. My talent and capabilities were undeniable— but my markatability might have been in question, because it was no longer simply a matter or chance or luck: the people chosen to figure such spectacle were chosen, hand selected and well trained to become media conglomerate superstars, even regardless of talent; perhaps this itself was the key indication that the world of the superstar itself had come to an end—it was no longer so much of a spectacle was worth it. Or, perhaps, because money had come between these ancient arts and symbols and languages being spoken by the superstars of old, that the magic in the literal sense had gone all the way away. The symbolism in the art had died, and so the singing and the dancing remained, but the God had gone out of it. Maybe that was the difference. The superstars of today were just the shell of the model that had been built on God, but the Godsense of it was no longer there— and so the magic no longer remained in effect, as the powers of magic that be are in all ancient arts and texts and forms attributive to The Source. Either way, I wasn't going to continue to be a sitting duck in my apartment in Brooklyn— there were too many indications that it had all been a setup from the shelter to the day I moved in, with the motorcycles and cars and CBS studios one block away. So the real and only question was, what exactly had been played at and who exactly was pulling the strings? I might at this point become a loose cannon: my son was estranged and as far as the people were concerned, I mostly hated New York— because the refined, clean cut and classy people I liked and wanted to be around saw me as the dirt and the grime I was fighting my way through just to simply exist— in my mind, this was a world that could be no more. I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress Keep writing I never thought I ‘d see the day Where i's taking lessons on Fallon From Michael Jackson That's ran That's a fan This is fame I'm insane I'm insane That's a fan Light the flame That's a fan. That's a fan. I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I went up the rack, set the page on fire Nordstrom rack And I might take it back for the cash I like Sara in a dress Stay repressed Keep it dark If you kiss don't tell I will probably go to hell for just writing Try it In black ink, I got all spades, Ehy, Spare me the ridicule, the imbecile and I met Johnny in a cage I like Fallon in a dress, Obsessive, I'm dressed out Every day I leave where I do not live Where stalker crawl and haunt me Just to show the motorcycles Have desheveled my intelligence into Nothing And so with negligence, I leave the core of a rotting apple The foreign words of a doctor And You must call the king, says something far off But I wonder which one I wonder which one I so respect her honor That I no longer Follow my heart or my soul And I don't shallow But shatter to swallow So I let the sparrow Out of the cage I bought Sara A pair of pants And I haunt l Patrick Kirkpatrick in patches And haven't you read yet You're ready for forget the pageant? It hasn't happened yet! I love Sara in a dress I hate Fallon and his wife Keep the kids out if it Skull and crossbones Cross my heart and Really hope to the loveless Or else Someone might call my phone back It's on silent in my coffin Or wait— It's on vibrate. I'm obsessed with the way You're dressed And the name on your checks I guess I'm better for it I'll skip lunch if you think that's what's best And dinner, too If you deserve the best Then better have learned my lesson No sweat And to do, With you, Was then, Dinner through next supper All the love I had was Rubbed into something other than The glass I patted dry With microfiber With ever fiber of my being I want to be with you I should have just— Died, And then Did, and so next Life, Remind me not to Fall for it If i really wanted to know you,I would know you by now– If i wanted to have you? I would have had you already Nobody is a dancer after Michael Jackson. I just watched some shit that was like “What the fuck did I just see” The whole thing was just not right. It was-/ I was like First of all, it's Munich, 1997. I never really realized how terribly the world has changed; No cellphones, but the audience is lit, And the crazy thing is, you can tell that this is near the turn of the century because, when the camera is panning by the audience in the people, they're not looking directly into the camera or waving at the camera— not really. And clearly this is an all ages show, so there's children, so the interesting thing I'm finding out is that nobody's trained to look at the camera and wave and smile— except the babies on shoulders and shit. These kids— they're my age now, are the only ones that see the camera, and they look directly into the shit. Mi still can't do that, really— I'm theatrically trained. Haha If I see a camera, I try to act ‘natural' It's the weirdest thing to look at a camera and just start to work it. People at festivals now, the camera rolls by, Or the drone flies in, And they look deadass in the camera and start to work it. Not at this show. Munich 1997, I'm like “Damn, a lot of things is wrong with this” First of all, I love Michael Jackson, I look directly at this man, and I'm in my dirty peak so I have an instant— like a sex detector thing going on And I know people gave Michael a hard time when he was a live for being fruity and whatever But I'm looking at this dude, and I don't see fruit at all. I see 100% man. I see why people were mad at him. Cause I'm looking at this dude, 100% All I see is carnal, primal man. I'm like, “Yo, I see why they was mad at him” Because the camera kept panning to the audience And these people are losing their minds. They are coming out of themselves. They are UGLY CRYING, full out of body, Losing composure They don't know what to do. That's Michael Jackson. He's right there! And the place is huge so really besides these few hundreds of people in the front, Michael's just a speck, But he's working this audience like “Yo, you know who I am, I know who is me” And I'm realizing, that to these people That's their god. These girls are losing their minds m “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!l *crying inconsolably* Just UGLY crying Bitch, get it together . You all the way lost yourself Get. It together. She won't. This bitch. I can't get over this This one girl, They just keep going back to her Cause the whole show— And this is like 2 hours of pure non stop Michael Jackson, This girl, every time you see her, she's just ugly crying— And every time you see her Her cry is uglier and ugly I'm like “Damn bitch” “Daaaaaaang” So this is the first thing I see that is wrong. But there's a lot of things wrong here, Cause there's a lot of girls like this. There's just— hundreds of girls losing their minds, like, I've seen Beatles mania and thought that was crazy, Shit, I've even seen some people put out that kind of energy in the modern world for some dumb DJ's— That's their god— But THIS THIS Michael Jackson mania was mental illness That was hard to watch. That was people just Lost control. I'm thinking “Like goddamn. You— what?!” “AAagghhhhhhgahahahahahqhahahhahaha MICHAELl “These people are sick” But they are. And so is Michael Fame has gone too far, 1997; 12 short years before he died, by chance— So this is what I see, And then Michael starts dancing, And this— This is what I see; I see the only thing that can ever be what it was in that moment in time, as God being God: Michael Jackson. Shiny ass motherfucker, And so I'm watching this show, And all I see is a God being a man being a God being— Michael Jackson— And the whole thing is weird. But the worst part— Yes The worst part Was when, about mid show, Michael goes to do one of his slow, lovey doves songs, And like, this 6 foot 7 type body guard guy, Just pops up out of nowhere, Comes dead front and center to one of these little girls losing their minds, Runs up on her in an instant; You don't even have time to think— And just SNATCHES her— Snatches the bitch— “Ah!” then throws her up on stage with Michael— And he's still singing; this is his game, this is part of the show, he knows— But she doesn't know, And she's just lost her mind, She won't let go She's hugging and kissing on the dude, She's lost her mind, She's ugly crying She's on the floor, She's kissing his hand She's really lost her good goddamn mind— And they pan out to the audience, And all the girls that didn't get picked Are like WHY NOT MEEEEEEEREEEEE?!? THE UGLY CRIES ARE EVEN UGLIER NOW, They're like “Wh—what?” You don't know?! “WHY NOT ME” They're holding each other crying, Michael's just doing his thing, He's unphased, He's trying to play along; He's a professional like a motherfucker; He's just— keeps singing And this girl is just, Losing it, so at this point, it's weird, She's crazy batshit lost her mind all the way, Won't let go of Michael, kissing his face while he's singing, He's kind of unreceptive to it, now just looking out at the audience, almost not even looking at all Just cold as fuck actually, Like she's not there, kissing his face Cold as fuck— And then another bouncer dude— An even bigger one in a blue suit, comes and tears her off of Michael Cause clearly this has gone too far or whatever And I'm thinking “What in the fuck did I just see” Blue suit dude just snatches, Just— He has to tear her off of him! She's kicking and screaming and getting dragged off stage Michael's just: singing. YO. Then they dragged her back stage. Where did she go?! WHO DID SHE BECOME?! WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE?!? WHAT. 1997. You can't do that shit anymore! You cannot snatch bitches like that. I seen. Watch the video. Tell me what's wrong with it. It's disgusting. Not the snatching, Not the— Like, that was weird But the screaming and the crying and the— Like okay, the snatching was bad— But I'm like … ..:: …. Now I see why they was mad. Don't ever forget he was once— A dark skinned little boy, And in his genetics his whole life is still this thing That some hate. But people loved him; they loved him that hard— Screaming, ugly crying hard. I think in that moment you know someone was like “he must be stopped!” And it seems like yesterday was a year ago But I don't want let anybody know… Cause everybody wants something from me now— And I don't want to let them down. My life is over. New York City looks so small from the top of a skyscraper. What are you doing. Then again— my thoughts lately have been grandiose. Back market, eh? What's this for? You need a burner. I have three. Here, have another. For someone whose supposed to be entirely off grid, I'm admirably reachable. Clever vocabulary. Something has to be clever about me, doesn't it? Does it? It must be. Or else. [both men are speaking casually over the delicate process of loading rare guns; some of which appear to be antique, and some—almost even unearthly , as if from somewhere besides our own planet. But, you could say what planet this is at all, actually— this bunker, with no windows and no doors, is apparently hidden in a subterranean layer— the location, unknown. The men seem calm but also quite tired and weary, and seem to know each other well. We can assume they've probably been friends for years. Sickle cell anemia. Does that mean I'm going to die. Animus, I quite like whatever that is, Google. ;) don't mention it. Honestly, you might as well. What. I can't help you with this. What. I don't think there's anyone who can. Beg your pardon. Please, don't beg— but uh… [the doctor pats his patient on the shoulder] Do take care. Gee, doc! I'll try! You should do that. What. Try. The doctor leaves seemingly in some kind of hurry, trading his lab coat for a trench coat and closing the door behind him. The other man pauses for a second in the silence of the weird linoleum room, then ponders on the coat for a moment before walking up to the coat rack, putting on the coat, and then walking out the door himself; as he begins to shut the door, he quickly decides also to take the fedora that was sitting atop the coat rack, placing it on his head before he walks out the door himself, shutting it behind him quietly. You got anything to eat in here? Cereal…some rabbit food ina the drawers, there. Oh, you have salad. That sounds nice. No, rabbit food. [the man presents a large bag of weird brown dry food from the crisper drawer.] …pellets. For the rabbits. How do rabbits get in here? …I don't know. And— more importantly— where did you get rabbit food for them? If I told you Amazon, would you believe me? The man just winces and places the bag back into the crisper drawer. Now listen, I um— If you want cereal, the milk is powedred… I don't— and that's disgusting— but listen— [the man cocks a loaded gun and admires it intensively] (Dismissively) —I'm listening. I've been meaning to tell you something. Tell me what. It's important. Oh, You couldn't have used one of my four phones. Look, it's— You know I wasn't expecting company. Well— You should sit down. The man squints, beginning to listen more attentively. … …really. I'm holding a loaded gun; there are at least three more within arms reach if I do sit, you know. I know. But I should sit? One baby to another says, “I'm lucky to've met you.” Maybe you should. Not all my bad but all my might, And all my mind, The fire, The light. …business or personal. [beat] Both. {Enter The Multiverse} What are we watching?! Shhhhhh! Shut up. What is this? Some.. Sshhh. Shit, I don't know. Sit down. You don't know. SHH it just came on Shh. Ok. When? Uh… (Nobody really seems to know how long it's been. The show just happened to come on; no one remembers how, or why— or even when— But the show is intense as it gets; And it just keeps getting weirder and deeper.) {Enter The Multiverse} I'm transfixed on your soul And it seems I aspire To what has transpired here, Your unremarked and the umpire The spider veins and the way it washes. And watches and waves, and waters over you, And still I seem to think you've won another, Strum to thumb of you. And still I wake to gather here The odds and whats And the twists and turns and the Troublesome you've number some Or stuttered, stumbled conciousness. And withered branches Aces lie and house of cards And aging scoundrels— There you are, the..: Nevermind. Don't belittle my ways if, In the end my thinking may be correct As dumbfounded as I have shifted my lottery bonds tied to none, There ye are again who aren't I, And never were, And weathered now, as I, bound to Struggle under her might, Nothing I was, and nothing I am And nothing I came from but to barter Oh hard love, I only found my kings upon thrown As cast out of another by her likeness, Peace and pale and primed as it was, And wanted for love, As I was not— And then, the gates had opened And I, preaching withered, Gathered my arts and my minds And my eyes, and my thrones, Buried my ark and though not my bones The shallow waking peaks of pride And there you gathered, all as huddled sheep to mine, The cost of war, but certain therefore honored as I have, Happened went, came and untied, shattered Hating all I am and all my dark and all my eyes and all my brown Because you came and went, a baby born to as nothing was but beauty and yet having been gifted such life, Departed! Soon, I wake shattered and with none as it had began, in my time and in time there laid there none, But fortune seeks to favor, as ye are saying brave and yet I neither beg nor make to differ, Shall you come again in part, And in this time as shadows, as shadows As hating and wearing and waging, And shattered I, I pardon, Knowing not they seeking I, And I having none at all but one, As forgotten I shall came And went And followed this, The time y'i call now, And ours and ours, And yours and yours, And mine and mine, Though as one are also, Common not, And waking yet to find, These things making have gone into yer Another of ours, world, Another of our dozens, Shines, Another of our gathered, wit, and waking Though true to fortune, none us have gathered And have embarked to truth, The waking I have come, Another, and another, and another Departed. And yet, I bury my words having weakened to that which is this, Ye have no fear and lest no fortune in these words, For having I to come and gone, since they times In words to make this a language I or neither other Does not speak here, and almost never, And this yours time past, Has come and gone And come and gone And come and gone again, So long so I too have parted but not yet Unfolded as does my nature, As God does. Belittle this, you waking fools, As to this you pity though divine, Is unlike any other And steep remarked in gold and with chimes and words That ye here no often or either now, or in mine speak. Amen …can I go now? You are dismissed. C'cxell Soleïl, aka DJ Ū is an American DJ + Producer, Multi-Instrumentalist, Playwright, Poet, Comedian, Novelist & Filmmaker. She is best known for her unique vocal riffs, Clever Lyricism & Philanthropically Inspired Freestyles and her flagship venture [The Festival Project.™] [Ï A M B ī C], a freestyle studio mixtape recorded in Los Angeles, (Official Release: TBD) inspired the adaptation of a staged musical version for Broadway, and a concurrent multimedia (TV/Film) series and ongoing saga as part of The Festival Project ™ Brand. Inspired musically by an ‘Ultra American' experience of Racially, Binary Ambiguity, and Synesthetic Exploration, her reflective melodies signature sound provides a philosophical dissection of American culture through a careful and inquisitive mastery of the English language, and emergence of world sounds through music brings about ‘A New Era in Nature', and clarifies the establishment of the newest wave in human evolution: Unity Through Music. L E G E N D S What if I just want to be alone in the dark Alone in the dark Alone in the dark Bones Duggar was a long, handsome zombie Bones once was a very tall man Not great and tall, as he stands But average, Grand as it were, his status. Everything's black My heart My pants My home My mind Everything hurts But you don't understand that Like I can Calm the commercial holidays for a moment Who gets the card? Get our your hard earned My head hurts Slam the door man; You can't control thoughts With a wombat Murderer Now that's a hard concept to catch When you haven't a soul When you haven't a card Or a car Or a cat I think I'm vanilla. I always thought of myself as a super kink Like a freaky, freaky bitch. So I got on this app. This app is better then Tinder. Yes. But it is not for the faint of heart. No, sir. They have a test, I'm like “ooh, I like tests” So I take the test. The test was not at all… As I'd hoped. First of all, It was hard. It was not a quiz; It was a TEST And I failed. I realized “Oh my god, I don't like any of this stuff” I am not about that! No! Yuck! Gross. “I think I might be vanilla.” I might be vanilla. I want my hair pulled back like a leash And my arms tied up Like I'm being arrested Without being read my rights. — I want your hands on the back of my neck [breathe] Reach around to my Mortimer's apple Put the lights out, Adam. I want the lights cut off. I want the bills piled up so the phone don't work I want the habit back on Don't talk to nobody I told you, I'm coming No, God! That's dumb! Show me why I'm off all alone with a rattle so bad It's just segmented thoughts, colors and sounds I can't make with all the plugins in the kindgdom of chaos?! I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES— I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES —but the one who could love me is God, And I guess he's not coming. The denial turns to tears, Not songs no more My womb is empty And the sun has turned into Not what I wanted But not my fault We got caught in the land of Cutting costs And processed morsels At 400 pounds And that's where I found What I thought was love But it turns out That it just turns up In the whole form of a person And that's why I got the collar, caller But really I'm no one's lover So I Do what I want I don't hang up on God But he don't got a body And I need someone to love/ Fuck me Please God Don't turn the lights off I'll pull the clock back Just like foreskin, god i want your skin Draped over mine in a warm swath Probably run a hot back Cause the next stop is a closet The line doesn't really move for the Doesn'tMatterhorn. some people are starting to doubt if it's even a ride. Others just admire it for its eloquence as a metaphor. Johnny! You scared me! Aha. Where did you go?! Nowhere— fast! Alright well— Money when you know I have it But I haven't really Paid attention to the never ending Digits never coming in but Simply, there's a secret, Sonny Someday you'll get lessons, honey. Much to find and much to serve and Surf us up Piñata's bout the burst But here comes Vesuvius (POW) Everyone was gone in an instant (Vapor) Had a good laugh that night in the pantheon; Everything's past, and the mortals They kept on running But i didn't want go, God Putting on a show then I blow up Just like the mountain Found her Now I got a broke back husband (hope so) To tell, don't ask Don't show up if you just get lost But I'm probably in the back with a bottle back mountain Now you got a real horse pack. Trip Girl keep camping What was the map with the mask and the Fashion? Pass. I put sugar on the rim of the glass With my eyes half closed And my ass clenched fast shut I'm an alcoholic Don't involve the God I got lost in the mall with the —- UGHHHHHHHH! Hello. Uh, yes— hi. what up. Mirror mirror. Uh…nothing. You're lost? No. You look lost. Oh? Disgruntled. I am that. You're lost? I'm not lost. My friend is lost. His phone is dead. You lost each other. Sort of. Continuity conniption I nipped an eclipse And he picked his nose For a full ass minute Sitting at the stop sign That's a gobstopper's worth in our time Pull all the clocks back, Pull the fool over, You just got fined It was Friday for nothing I was in the hatchback, Scratch that Sour patch Should have called Pat back Now I'm just a Cool 48 in the ring with a date And the cashapp Continuity construction I want a husband! Fuck that. I want a clean cut plus one Since I can't have Helmet, Elmo, Or Hatchetman; Tears of a Clow…no, Wait I lost focus Half finished album Got 6 tracks But I knew it was 12 from the get go Prob‘ly should have knocked off the showrunner; Nah, I'm sure I had that coming Hashtag, undon Could have been you, too If the cash came through Now it's hard times Hardwired Sitting on a hi wire, Little white liar, liar Wait I made Katey Sagal (Fire) Cut off her hair (Fire) Went to the hall of fame with the framed sunglasses Asked for her autograf, But she walked off So I shot her with a bottle/ can, But she ducked, popped back up With the brass knuckles Surfboard Good for a chuckle and a fuck So I asked for her number All that on a Sunday at Gelson's market. Christ, almighty I miss Walmart, I hit hard times. So many places to run, But not many places to hide I think I want to die here I think i want to die. City of corruption… Lay it out and lay it over City of corruption… no, it's not a choice It's a black tie function Right in that very moment Seth Meyers kind of became my defacto personal hero. “Never meet your heroes” Or perhaps it was just his writing team, or the fact that maybe even without there even being anything set in stone or solid at all, [redacted] itself seemed to have a price over my head– It all seemed to make sense; in fact, all the crazy things i was experiencing made more sense than it didn't. But after what felt something like between defeat and maybe even one day really getting justice for all the things that had happened to me in new york– it was that, at best; That without actually meaning it, by all probability, the opening monologue described what in perfect sense the thing that had been happening to me: hundreds of motorcycles and cars riding around in circles for over a year, any time i tried to work or sleep–and then, when I finally tried to reach out to find an attorney that would help, I was made to feel crazy for it. In a way, it was the perfect indication that it had all been some sort of sick game, and that I was more right than wrong, and being set up to appear, sound, or look crazy–but I wasn't. I had been under attack for nearly two years, and when I tried to reach out, my heart raced and my voice cracked, and I sounded crazy and desperate–but what was happening was very real; and now I knew where I was. As it turns out, New York's corruption was more common knowledge to everyone else before it was to me: New York was a common place for fucked up, dirty, low-down mind games: and this was my lesson in that. Seth Meyers in reality had nothing to do with it–and really I only meant to watch Kimmel over my afternoon tacos. But still, though it hadn't entirely anything to do with me, the opening statements rang true to exactly what I had experienced; I was made to lose my mind, only to have everyone around me tell me it was something wrong with me–but it wasn't. Something was wrong with the city, and the building management, and the people around who were making it all to be some kind of mental disorder or problems with my mind–in reality, it was 2 years of being in the center of a speedway, and all the time i'd lost because of it adding to the stress, and the angst, and the depression that resulted. Moo. Moo… Moo. Moo, sir. I'll kill you. You promise? I want to. Don't get me excited over nothing; If this isn't the exit, please take this tease To the left, dear Moo, cow My honor Level one, and brother, you've got nothing Flip the coin and landed on your headache Betting on your helmet Standing on my cock, i'm taller (Not a rooster) But my ops are rooting for you, No informants, Dont you know I was a collar, all along? I was a shot calling, Cop calling Kiss-and-tell all as the night goes on. But oh, I brought you a dollar bra Oh, I bought you for all of a dollar And oh, I'm so much taller, Standing on my cock But i'm not but ten feet tall You know, you wrote that Should i open the book, or close that Caught that cat, owl and As i soft spoke at Every broken model Broken bottle for the thoughts you owe Across the scatters skies and no one ever knows When you're realling coming over Come on, I'm on the pornhub Just to pick up another one Go on, and rub the bottle One more once, To call the Bubbles. Damn. Come. (The Monkey obeys) You should see Michael in all of his godform You won't recognize him at all if not by the eyes When you follow home Believe me, this not comes close to it; The one you wanted The world you jumped to but were just short of Call her back Oh no, you're wrong It's another song A pin up girl And the wrong number Okah. Okah, Pablo. Time can be altered, changed or effected presently in any omnidirectional plane by engaging certain acts or synchronicities within multidimensional parallels or adjacent realms in time and or space respectively. –the reverse quantum simulation theory. Does anyone else smell blood I hate wedding days suits and tuxedos No, I don't know you I'm just here to sound the hundred drums Of the once before us (The ones to come) Then, there we were and I didn't want to admit Again, I was caught into the ghost of the rapture Or the holy hour, No aux chord Show the holy one Just how old you are On these sacr d lands and a holy grounds Now I want here half an ounce to smoke And there were drowning orchestras in all of the hearts And all of the markets, The market the marker And all of the sins of the savior The maytyr Did you remember not to notice not to know him Were you sure with words you were for nickelodeaon! I was supposed to hold on to, Supposed to hold on to Suddenly, it's summer. And always our own are under the weather There was no other wise man the wind. Lee the one came The site came and went and then the songs went left The songs went left; Again, the songs went left Did you win at wintergreen Well, God, I didn't know gym was a game. I didn't know guns we're just portals to worlds unknownn I didn't know gossip was golden What all else didn't I know It wasn't for here! It was fourth flour And in the final hour of the battle I commenced to summon All the gods and all the lords and all the flowers All the worlds of oceans and the Remember, this The remembrance It may not matter to some, What matters to most But until summer comes, I'm still up under the rail And practically it's spring, for the next two weeks I'm all berries and cream and whatever you wanted. Tormaline, emerald and onyx, the fox said And fox says its west when instead it's quite under what of the reporter's offer? Comes down a little to none What of the offer Comes down from a billion to one A billion to one I'm on TV so it's really just a one way screen Either way, I don't think he likes me much I don't think he likes me much I'd rather die than to fall in love even one more time And to keep on just never being loved Never beingbloved {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

You are in for a real treat on this episode. My guest this time is Greg Schwem. Greg is a corporate comedian. What is a corporate comedian? You probably can imagine that his work has to do with corporations, and you would be right. Greg will explain much better than I can. Mr. Schwem began his career as a TV journalist but eventually decided to take up what he really wanted to do, be a comedian. The story of how he evolved is quite fascinating by any standard. Greg has done comedy professionally since 1989. He speaks today mostly to corporate audiences. He will tell us how he does his work. It is quite interesting to hear how he has learned to relate to his audiences. As you will discover as Greg and I talk, we often work in the same way to learn about our audiences and thus how we get to relate to them. Greg has written three books. His latest one is entitled “Turning Gut Punches into Punch Lines: A Comedian's Journey Through Cancer, Divorce and Other Hilarious Stuff”. As Greg says, “Don't worry, it's not one of those whiny, ‘woe is me,' self- serving books. Instead, it's a hilarious account of me living the words I've been preaching to my audiences: You can always find humor in every situation, even the tough ones. Greg offers many interesting observations as he discusses his career and how he works. I think we all can find significant lessons we can use from his remarks. About the Guest: Hi! I'm Greg Schwem. a Chicago-based business humor speaker and MC who HuffPost calls “Your boss's favorite comedian.” I've traveled the world providing clean, customized laughs to clients such as Microsoft, IBM, McDonald's and even the CIA. I also write the bi-weekly Humor Hotel column for the Chicago Tribune syndicate. I believe every corporate event needs humor. As I often tell clients, “When times are good, people want to laugh. When times are bad, people need to laugh.” One Fortune 500 client summed things up perfectly, saying “You were fantastic and just what everybody needed during these times.” In September 2024 I released my third and most personal book, Turning Gut Punches into Punch Lines: A Comedian's Journey Through Cancer, Divorce and Other Hilarious Stuff. Don't worry, it's not one of those whiny, “woe is me,” self-serving books. Instead, it's a hilarious account of me living the words I've been preaching to my audiences: You can always find humor in every situation, even the tough ones. You can pick up a copy at Amazon or select book stores. Ways to connect with Greg: Website: www.gregschwem.com YouTube: www.youtube.com/gregschwem LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/gregschwem Instagram: www.instagram.com/gregschwem X: www.x.com/gregschwem About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset . Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:16 Hi everyone, and welcome to unstoppable mindset. Today we are going to definitely have some fun. I'll tell you about our guests in a moment, but first, I want to tell you about me. That'll take an hour or so. I am Michael Hingson, your host, and you're listening to unstoppable mindset where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. And I don't know, we may get inclusion or diversity into this, but our guest is Greg Schwem. Greg used to be a TV reporter, now he's a comedian, not sure which is funnier, but given some of the reporters I've seen on TV, they really should go into tonight club business. But anyway, Greg, I want to welcome you to unstoppable mindset. We're really glad you're here. I really appreciate you being here and taking the time   Greg Schwem ** 02:04 Well, Michael, it is an honor to be included on your show. I'm really looking forward to the next hour of conversation. I   Speaker 1 ** 02:10 told Greg a little while ago, one of my major life ambitions that I never got to do was to go to a Don Rickles concert and sit in the front row so that hopefully he would pick on me, so that I could say, Yeah, I saw you once on TV, and I haven't been able to see since. What do you think of that? You hockey puck, but I never got to do it. So very disappointed. But everybody has bucket list moments, everybody has, but they don't get around to I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. Well, the other one is, I love to pick on Mike Wallace. I did a radio show for six years opposite him in 60 minutes, and I always love to say that Wallace really had criminal tendencies, because he started out being an announcer in radio and he announced things like The Green Hornet and the Sky King and other shows where they had a lot of criminals. So I just figured he had to be associated with criminals somewhere in his life. Of course, everybody picked on him, and he had broad shoulders. And I again, I regret I never got to to meet him, which is sort of disappointing. But I did get to meet Peter Falk. That was kind of fun.   Greg Schwem ** 03:15 Mike Wallace to Peter Falk. Nice transition there. I know.   Michael Hingson ** 03:21 Well I am really glad you're with us. So why don't we start? We'll start with the serious part. Why don't you tell us, kind of about the early Greg schwim and growing up and all that sort of stuff, just to set the stage, as it were,   Greg Schwem ** 03:34 how far back you want to go? You want to go back to Little League, or you want to   Speaker 1 ** 03:37 just, oh, start at the beginning, a long time ago, right? I was a   Greg Schwem ** 03:41 very strange child. No, I you. You obviously introduced me as a as a comedian, and that is my full time job. And you also said that I was a former journalist, and that is my professional career. Yes, I went from, as I always like to say, I went from depressing people all day long, to making them laugh. And that's, that's kind of what I did. I always did want to be I majored in Journalism at Northwestern University, good journalism school. Originally, I always wanted to be a television reporter. That was as a professional career I was, I dabbled in comedy. Started when I was 16. That is the first time I ever got on stage at my school, my high school, and then at a comedy club. I was there one of the first comedy clubs in Chicago, a place called the comedy cottage. It was in the suburb of beautiful, beautiful suburb of Rosemont, Illinois, and they were one of the very, very first full time comedy clubs in the nation. And as a 16 year old kid, I actually got on stage and did five minutes here and five minutes there. And thought I was, I was hot stuff, but I never, ever thought I would do it for a living. I thought comedy would always be just a hobby. And I. Especially when I went to college, and I thought, okay, Northwestern is pretty good school, pretty expensive school. I should actually use my degree. And I did. I moved down to Florida, wrote for a newspaper called The Palm Beach post, which, don't let that title fool you. It's Palm Beach was a very small segment of of the area that it was, that it served, but I did comedy on the side, and just because I moved down there, I didn't know anybody, so I hung out at comedy clubs just to have something to do. And little by little, comedy in the late 80s, it exploded. Exploded. There were suddenly clubs popping up everywhere, and you were starting to get to know guys that were doing these clubs and were starting to get recognition for just being comedians. And one of them opened up a very, very good Club opened up about 10 minutes from my apartment in West Palm Beach, and I hung out there and started to get more stage time, and eventually started to realize at the same time that I was getting better as a comedian, I was becoming more disillusioned as a journalist in terms of what my bosses wanted me to report on and the tone they wanted me to use. And I just decided that I would I would just never be able to live with myself if I didn't try it, if I didn't take the the plunge into comedy, and that's what I did in 1989 and I've been doing it ever since. And my career has gone in multiple directions, as I think it needs to. If you're going to be in show business and sustain a career in show business, you have to wear a lot of different hats, which I feel like I've done.   Michael Hingson ** 06:40 So tell me more about that. What does that mean exactly?   Greg Schwem ** 06:43 Well, I mean, I started out as a what you would pretty much if somebody said, If you heard somebody say, I'm a comedian, they would envision some guy that just went to comedy clubs all the time, and that's what I did. I was just a guy that traveled by car all over the Midwest and the Southeast primarily, and did comedy clubs, but I quickly realized that was kind of a going nowhere way to attack it, to do comedy unless you were incredibly lucky, because there were so many guys doing it and so many clubs, and I just didn't see a future in it, and I felt like I had to separate myself from the pack a little bit. And I was living in Chicago, which is where I'm from, and still, still exist. Still reside in Chicago, and I started to get involved with a company that did live trade show presentations. So if you've ever been on a trade show floor and you see people, they're mostly actors and actresses that wear a headset and deliver a spiel, a pitch, like every, every twice an hour, about some company, some new product, and so forth. And I did that, and I started to write material about what I was seeing on trade show floors and putting it into my stand up act, stuff about business, stuff about technology, because I was Hawking a lot of new computers and things like that. This was the mid 90s when technology was exploding, and I started to put this into my stand up act. And then I'd have people come up to me afterwards and say, hey, you know those jokes you did about computers and tech support, if you could come down to our office, you know, we're having a golf tournament, we're having a Christmas party, we would love to hear that material. And little by little, I started transitioning my act into doing shows for the corporate market. I hooked up with a corporate agent, or the corporate agent heard about me, and started to open a lot of doors for me in terms of working for very large corporations, and that's pretty much what I've been doing. I stopped working clubs, and I transitioned, instead of being a comedian, I became a corporate humor speaker. And that's what I do, primarily to this day, is to speak at business conferences. Just kind of get people to loosen up, get them to laugh about what they do all day without without making it sound like I'm belittling what they do. And also when I'm not doing that, I work about eight to 10 weeks a year on cruise ships, performing for cruise audiences. So that's a nice getaway.   Speaker 1 ** 09:18 It's interesting since I mentioned Don Rickles earlier, years ago, I saw an interview that he did with Donahue, and one of the things that Don Rickles said, and after he said it, I thought about it. He said, I really don't want to pick on anyone who's going to be offended by me picking on them. He said, I try to watch really carefully, so that if it looks like somebody's getting offended, I'll leave them alone, because that's not what this is all about. It isn't about abusing people. It's about trying to get people to have fun, and if somebody's offended, I don't want to to pick on them, and I've heard a number of albums and other things with him and just. Noticed that that was really true. He wouldn't pick on someone unless they could take it and had a lot of fun with it. And I thought that was absolutely interesting, because that certainly wasn't, of course, the rep that he had and no, but it was   Greg Schwem ** 10:16 true. It is, and it doesn't take long to see as a as a comedian, when you're looking at an audience member and you're talking to them, it, you can tell very quickly, Are they enjoying this? Are they enjoying being the center of attention? A lot of people are, or are they uncomfortable with it? Now, I don't know that going in. I mean, I you know, of course. And again, that's a very small portion of my show is to talk to the audience, but it is something particularly today. I think audiences want to be more involved. I think they enjoy you talk you. Some of these, the new comedians in their 20s and 30s and so forth. Them, some of them are doing nothing, but what they call crowd work. So they're just doing 45 minutes of talking to the audience, which can be good and can be rough too, because you're working without a net. But I'm happy to give an audience a little bit of that. But I also have a lot of stuff that I want to say too. I mean, I work very hard coming up with material and and refining it, and I want to talk about what's going on in my life, too. So I don't want the audience to be the entire show, right?   Speaker 1 ** 11:26 And and they shouldn't be, because it isn't about that. But at the same time, it is nice to involve them. I find that as a keynote and public speaker, I find that true as well, though, is that audiences do like to be involved. And I do some things right at the outset of most talks to involve people, and also in involving them. I want to get them to last so that I start to draw them in, because later, when I tell the September 11 story, which isn't really a humorous thing. Directly,   Greg Schwem ** 12:04 i know i Good luck. I'm spinning 911 to make it I don't think I've ever heard anybody say, by the way, I was trapped in a building. Stick with me. It's kind of cute. It's got a funny ending. And   Speaker 1 ** 12:20 that's right, and it is hard I can, I can say humorous things along the way in telling the story, but, sure, right, but, but clearly it's not a story that, in of itself, is humorous. But what I realized over the years, and it's really dawned on me in the last four or five years is we now have a whole generation of people who have absolutely no memory of September 11 because they were children or they weren't even born yet. And I believe that my job is to not only talk about it, but literally to draw them into the building and have them walk down the stairs with me, and I have to be descriptive in a very positive way, so that they really are part of what's going on. And the reality is that I do hear people or people come up and say, we were with you when you were going down the stairs. And I think that's my job, because the reality is that we've got to get people to understand there are lessons to be learned from September 11, right? And the only real way to do that is to attract the audience and bring them in. And I think probably mostly, I'm in a better position to do that than most people, because I'm kind of a curious soul, being blind and all that, but it allows me to to draw them in and and it's fun to do that, actually. And I, and   Greg Schwem ** 13:52 I gotta believe, I mean, obviously I wasn't there, Michael, but I gotta believe there were moments of humor in people, a bunch of people going down the stairs. Sure, me, you put people get it's like, it's like when a bunch of people are in an elevator together, you know, I mean, there's I, when I look around and I try to find something humorous in a crowded and it's probably the same thing now, obviously it, you know, you got out in time. But I and, you know, don't that's the hotel phone, which I just hung up so but I think that I can totally see where you're going from, where, if you're if you're talking to people who have no recollection of this, have no memory where you're basically educating them on the whole event. I think you then you have the opportunity to tell the story in whatever way you see fit. And I think that however you choose to do it is there's no wrong way to do it, I guess is what I'm trying to get at.   Speaker 1 ** 14:55 Well, yeah, I think the wrong way is to be two. Graphic and morbid and morbid, but one of the things that I talk about, for example, is that a colleague of mine who was with me, David Frank, at about the 50th floor, suddenly said, Mike, we're going to die. We're not going to make it out of here. And as as I tell the audience, typically, I as as you heard my introduction at the beginning, I have a secondary teaching credential. And one of the things that you probably don't know about teachers is that there's a secret course that every teacher takes called Voice 101, how to yell at students and and so what I tell people is that when David said that, I just said in my best teacher voice, stop it, David, if Roselle and I can go down these stairs, so can you. And he told me later that that brought him out of his funk, and he ended up walking a floor below me and shouting up to me everything he saw. And it was just mainly, everything is clear, like I'm on floor 48 he's on 47/47 floor. Everything is good here, and what I have done for the past several years in telling that part of the story is to say David, in reality, probably did more to keep people calm and focused as we went down the stairs than anyone else, because anyone within the sound of his voice heard someone who was focused and sounded okay. You know, hey, I'm on the 44th floor. This is where the Port Authority cafeteria is not stopping. And it it helps people understand that we all had to do what we could to keep everyone from not panicking. And it almost happened a few times that people did, but we worked at it. But the i The idea is that it helps draw people in, and I think that's so important to do for my particular story is to draw them in and have them walk down the stairs with me, which is what I do, absolutely, yeah, yeah. Now I'm curious about something that keeps coming up. I hear it every so often, public speaker, Speaker experts and people who are supposedly the great gurus of public speaking say you shouldn't really start out with a joke. And I've heard that so often, and I'm going give me a break. Well, I think, I think it depends, yeah, I think   Greg Schwem ** 17:33 there's two schools of thought to that. I think if you're going to start out with a joke, it better be a really good one, or something that you either has been battle tested, because if it doesn't work now, you, you know, if you're hoping for a big laugh, now you're saying, Well, you're a comedian, what do you do? You know, I mean, I, I even, I just sort of work my way into it a little bit. Yeah, and I'm a comedian, so, and, you know, it's funny, Michael, I will get, I will get. I've had CEOs before say to me, Hey, you know, I've got to give this presentation next week. Give me a joke I can tell to everybody. And I always decline. I always it's like, I don't need that kind of pressure. And it's like, I can, I can, I can tell you a funny joke, but,   Michael Hingson ** 18:22 but you telling the   Greg Schwem ** 18:23 work? Yeah, deliver it. You know, I can't deliver it for you. Yeah? And I think that's what I also, you know, on that note, I've never been a big fan of Stand Up Comedy classes, and you see them all popping up all over the place. Now, a lot of comedy clubs will have them, and usually the you take the class, and the carrot at the end is you get to do five minutes at a comedy club right now, if that is your goal, if you're somebody who always like, Gosh, I wonder what it would like be like to stand up on stage and and be a comedian for five minutes. That's something I really like to try. By all means, take the class, all right. But if you think that you're going to take this class and you're going to emerge a much funnier person, like all of a sudden you you weren't funny, but now you are, don't take the class, yeah? And I think, sadly, I think that a lot of people sign up for these classes thinking the latter, thinking that they will all of a sudden become, you know, a comedian. And it doesn't work that way. I'm sorry you cannot teach unfunny people to be funny. Yeah, some of us have the gift of it, and some of us don't. Some of us are really good with our hands, and just know how to build stuff and how to look at things and say, I can do that. And some of us, myself included, definitely do not. You know, I think you can teach people to be more comfortable, more comfortable in front of an audience and. Correct. I think that is definitely a teachable thing, but I don't think that you can teach people to be funnier   Speaker 1 ** 20:10 and funnier, and I agree with that. I tend to be amazed when I keep hearing that one of the top fears in our world is getting up in front of an audience and talking with them, because people really don't understand that audiences, whatever you're doing, want you to succeed, and they're not against you, but we have just conditioned ourselves collectively that speaking is something to be afraid of?   Greg Schwem ** 20:41 Yes, I think, though it's, I'm sure, that fear, though, of getting up in front of people has only probably been exacerbated and been made more intense because now everybody in the audience has a cell phone and to and to be looking out at people and to see them on their phones. Yeah, you're and yet, you prepped all day long. You've been nervous. You've been you probably didn't sleep the night before. If you're one of these people who are afraid of speaking in public, yeah, and then to see people on their phones. You know, it used to bother me. It doesn't anymore, because it's just the society we live in. I just, I wish, I wish people could put their phones down and just enjoy laughing for 45 minutes. But unfortunately, our society can't do that anymore, so I just hope that I can get most of them to stop looking at it.   Speaker 1 ** 21:32 I don't make any comments about it at the beginning, but I have, on a number of occasions, been delivering a speech, and I hear a cell phone ring, and I'll stop and go, Hello. And I don't know for sure what the person with the cell phone does, but by the same token, you know they really shouldn't be on their phone and and it works out, okay, nobody's ever complained about it. And when I just say hello, or I'll go Hello, you don't say, you know, and things like that, but, but I don't, I don't prolong it. I'll just go back to what I was talking about. But I remember, when I lived in New Jersey, Sandy Duncan was Peter Pan in New York. One night she was flying over the audience, and there was somebody on his cell phone, and she happened to be going near him, and she just kicked the phone out of his hand. And I think that's one of the things that started Broadway in saying, if you have a cell phone, turn it off. And those are the announcements that you hear at the beginning of any Broadway performance today.   Greg Schwem ** 22:39 Unfortunately, people don't abide by that. I know you're still hearing cell phones go off, yeah, you know, in Broadway productions at the opera or wherever, so people just can't and there you go. There that just shows you're fighting a losing battle.   Speaker 1 ** 22:53 Yeah, it's just one of those things, and you got to cope with it.   Greg Schwem ** 22:58 What on that note, though, there was, I will say, if I can interrupt real quick, there was one show I did where nobody had their phone. It was a few years ago. I spoke at the CIA. I spoke for some employees of the CIA. And this might, this might freak people out, because you think, how is it that America's covert intelligence agency, you think they would be on their phones all the time. No, if you work there, you cannot have your phone on you. And so I had an audience of about 300 people who I had their total attention because there was no other way to they had no choice but to listen to me, and it was wonderful. It was just a great show, and I it was just so refreshing. Yeah,   Speaker 1 ** 23:52 and mostly I don't hear cell phones, but they do come up from time to time. And if they do, then you know it happens. Now my one of my favorite stories is I once spoke in Maryland at the Department of Defense, which anybody who knows anything knows that's the National Security Agency, but they call it the Department of Defense, as if we don't know. And my favorite story is that I had, at the time, a micro cassette recorder, and it died that morning before I traveled to Fort Meade, and I forgot to just throw it away, and it was in my briefcase. So I got to the fort, they searched, apparently, didn't find it, but on the way out, someone found it. They had to get a bird Colonel to come to decide what to do with it. I said, throw it away. And they said, No, we can't do that. It's yours. And they they decided it didn't work, and they let me take it and I threw it away. But it was so, so funny to to be at the fort and see everybody running around crazy. See, what do we do with this micro cassette recorder? This guy's been here for an hour. Yeah. So it's it. You know, all sorts of things happen. What do you think about you know, there's a lot of discussion about comedians who use a lot of foul language in their shows, and then there are those who don't, and people seem to like the shock value of that.   Greg Schwem ** 25:25 Yeah, I'm very old school in that. I guess my short answer is, No, I've never, ever been one of those comedians. Ever I do a clean show, I actually learned my lesson very early on. I think I think that I think comedians tend to swear because when they first start out, out of nerves, because I will tell you that profanity does get laughter. And I've always said, if you want to, if you want to experiment on that, have a comedian write a joke, and let's say he's got two shows that night. Let's say he's got an eight o'clock show and a 10 o'clock show. So let's say he does the joke in the eight o'clock and it's, you know, the cadence is bumper, bump up, bump up, bump up, punch line. Okay, now let's and let's see how that plays. Now let's now he does the 10 o'clock show and it's bumper, bump up, bump up F and Okay, yeah, I pretty much guarantee you the 10 o'clock show will get a bigger laugh. Okay? Because he's sort of, it's like the audience is programmed like, oh, okay, we're supposed to laugh at that now. And I think a lot of comedians think, Aha, I have just discovered how to be successful as a comedian. I will just insert the F word in front of every punch line, and you can kind of tell what comedians do that and what comedians I mean. I am fine with foul language, but have some jokes in there too. Don't make them. Don't make the foul word, the joke, the joke, right? And I can say another thing nobody has ever said to me, I cannot hire you because you're too clean. I've never gotten that. And all the years I've been doing this, and I know there's lots of comedians who who do work blue, who have said, you know, who have been turned down for that very reason. So I believe, if you're a comedian, the only way to get better is to work any place that will have you. Yeah, and you can't, so you might as well work clean so you can work any place that will have you, as opposed to being turned away.   Speaker 1 ** 27:30 Well, and I, and I know what, what happened to him and all that, but at the same time, I grew up listening to Bill Cosby and the fact that he was always clean. And, yeah, I understand everything that happened, but you can't deny and you can't forget so many years of humor and all the things that that he brought to the world, and the joy he brought to the world in so many ways.   Greg Schwem ** 27:57 Oh, yeah, no, I agree. I agree. And he Yeah, he worked everywhere. Jay Leno is another one. I mean, Jay Leno is kind of on the same wavelength as me, as far as don't let the profanity become the joke. You know, Eddie Murphy was, you know, was very foul. Richard Pryor, extremely foul. I but they also, prior, especially, had very intelligent material. I mean, you can tell and then if you want to insert your F bombs and so forth, that's fine, but at least show me that you're trying. At least show me that you came in with material in addition to the   Speaker 1 ** 28:36 foul language. The only thing I really have to say about all that is it? Jay Leno should just stay away from cars, but that's another story.   Greg Schwem ** 28:43 Oh, yeah, it's starting to   Greg Schwem ** 28:47 look that way. Yeah, it   Michael Hingson ** 28:49 was. It was fun for a while, Jay, but yeah, there's just two. It's like, Harrison Ford and plains. Yeah, same concept. At some point you're like, this isn't working out. Now I submit that living here in Victorville and just being out on the streets and being driven around and all that, I am firmly convinced, given the way most people drive here, that the bigoted DMV should let me have a license, because I am sure I can drive as well as most of the clowns around here. Yeah, so when they drive, I have no doubt. Oh, gosh. Well, you know, you switched from being a TV journalist and so on to to comedy. Was it a hard choice? Was it really difficult to do, or did it just seem like this is the time and this is the right thing to do. I was   Greg Schwem ** 29:41 both, you know, it was hard, because I really did enjoy my job and I liked, I liked being a TV news reporter. I liked, I liked a job that was different every day once you got in there, because you didn't know what they were going to send you out to do. Yes, you had. To get up and go to work every day and so forth. So there's a little bit of, you know, there's a little bit of the mundane, just like there is in any job, but once you were there, I liked, just never known what the day would bring, right? And and I, I think if I'd stayed with it, I think I think I could have gone pretty far, particularly now, because the now it's more people on TV are becoming more entertainers news people are becoming, yeah, they are. A lot of would be, want to be comedians and so forth. And I don't particularly think that's appropriate, but I agree. But so it was hard to leave, but it gets back to what I said earlier. At some point, you got to say, I was seeing comedians making money, and I was thinking, gosh, you know, if they're making money at this I I'm not hilarious, but I know I'm funnier than that guy. Yeah, I'm funnier than her, so why not? And I was young, and I was single, and I thought, if I if I don't try it now, I never will. And, and I'll bet there's just some hilarious people out there, yeah, who who didn't ever, who just were afraid   Michael Hingson ** 31:14 to take that chance, and they wouldn't take the leap, yeah,   Greg Schwem ** 31:16 right. And now they're probably kicking themselves, and I'm sure maybe they're very successful at what they do, but they're always going to say, what if, if I only done this? I don't ever, I don't, ever, I never, ever wanted to say that. Yeah,   Speaker 1 ** 31:31 well, and there's, there's something to be said for being brave and stepping out and doing something that you don't expect, or that you didn't expect, or that you weren't sure how it was going to go, but if you don't try, then you're never going to know just how, how much you could really accomplish and how much you can really do. And I think that the creative people, whatever they're being creative about, are the people who do step out and are willing to take a chance.   Greg Schwem ** 31:59 Yeah, yeah. And I told my kids that too. You know, it's just like, if it's something that you're passionate about, do it. Just try it. If it doesn't work out, then at least you can say I tried   Speaker 1 ** 32:09 it and and if it doesn't work out, then you can decide, what do I need to do to figure out why it didn't work out, or is it just not me? I want   Greg Schwem ** 32:18 to keep going? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.   Speaker 1 ** 32:21 So what is the difference between being a nightclub comedian and a corporate comedian? Because they are somewhat different. I think I know the answer. But what would you say that the differences between them? I think   Greg Schwem ** 32:33 the biggest thing is the audiences. I think when you when you are a nightclub comedian, you are working in front of people who are there to be entertained. Yeah, they, they paid money for that. That's what they're expecting. They, they, at some point during the day, they said, Hey, let's, let's go laugh tonight. That's what we really want to do when you're working in front of a corporate audiences. That's not necessarily the case. They are there. I primarily do business conferences and, you know, association meetings and so forth. And I'm just one cog in the wheel of a whole day's worth of meetings are, for the most part, very dry and boring, maybe certainly necessary educational. They're learning how to do their job better or something. And then you have a guy like me come in, and people aren't always ready to laugh, yeah, despite the fact that they probably need to, but they just they're not always in that mindset. And also the time of day. I mean, I do a lot of shows at nine in the morning. I do shows after lunch, right before lunch. I actually do very few shows in the evening, believe it or not. And so then you you have to, you kind of have to, in the while you're doing your act or your presentation or your speech, as I call it, you kind of have to let them know that it is okay. What you're doing is okay, and they should be okay with laughing. They shouldn't be looking around the whole time wondering if other people are laughing. You know, can I, can I? Can I tell you a quick story about how I drive that point home. Why not? Yeah, it's, I'll condense it into like five minutes. I mentioned that I worked on that I work on cruise ships occasionally, and I one night I was performing, and it was the first night of the cruise. And if anybody's ever been on a cruise, note, the first night, first night entertainers don't like the first night because people are tired. You know, they're they're a little edgy because they've been traveling all day. They're they're confused because they're not really sure where they're going on a ship. And the ones that have got it figured out usually over serve themselves because they're on vacation. So you put all that, so I'm doing my show on the first. Night, and it's going very well. And about five, six minutes in, I do a joke. Everybody laughs. Everybody shuts up. And from the back of the room in total darkness, I hear hat just like that. And I'm like, All right, you know, probably over served. So the rule of comedy is that everybody gets like. I was like, I'll let it go once, yeah. So I just kind of looked off in that direction, didn't say anything. Kept going with my active going with my act. About 10 minutes later, same thing happens. I tell a joke. Everybody laughs. Everybody shuts up. Hat now I'm like, Okay, I have got to, I've got to address the elephant in the room. So I think I just made some comment, like, you know, I didn't know Roseanne Barr was on this cruise, you know, because that was like the sound of the Yeah. Okay, everybody laugh. Nothing happened about five minutes later. It happens a third time. And now I'm just like, this is gonna stop. I'm going to put a stop to this. And I just fired off. I can't remember, like, three just like, hey man, you know you're you're just a little behind everybody else in this show and probably in life too, that, you know, things like that, and it never happened again. So I'm like, okay, mission accomplished on my part. Comedians love it when we can shut up somebody like that. Anyway. Show's over, I am out doing a meet and greet. Some guy comes up to me and he goes, hey, hey, you know that kid you were making fun of is mentally handicapped. And now, of course, I don't know this, but out of the corner of my eye, I see from the other exit a man pushing a son, his son in a wheelchair out of the showroom. And I'm just like, Oh, what have I done? And yeah. And of course, when you're on a cruise, you're you're on a cruise. When you're a cruise ship entertainer, you have to live with your audience. So I couldn't hide. I spent like the next three days, and it seemed like wherever I was, the man and his son in the wheelchair were nearby. And finally, on the fourth day, I think was, I was waiting for an elevator. Again, 3500 people on this ship, okay, I'm waiting for an elevator. The elevator door opens. Guess who are the only two people the elevator, the man and his son. And I can't really say I'll wait for the next one. So I get on, and I said to this the father, I said, I just want you to know I had no idea. You know, I'm so sorry. I can't see back there, this kind of thing. And the dad looks at me. He puts his hand up to stop me, and he points to me, and he goes, I thought you were hysterical. And it was, not only was it relief, but it kind of, it's sort of a lesson that if you think something is funny, you should laugh at it. Yeah. And I think sometimes in corporate America, my point in this. I think sometimes when you do these corporate shows, I think that audience members forget that. I think very busy looking around to see if their immediate boss thinks it's funny, and eventually everybody's looking at the CEO to see if they're like, you know, I think if you're doing it that way, if that's the way you're you're approaching humor. You're doing yourself a disservice, if right, stopping yourself from laughing at something that you think is funny.   Speaker 1 ** 38:09 I do think that that all too often the problem with meetings is that we as a as a country, we in corporations, don't do meetings, right anyway, for example, early on, I heard someone at a convention of the National Federation of the Blind say he was the new executive director of the American Foundation for the Blind, and he said, I have instituted a policy, no Braille, no meetings. And what that was all about was to say, if you're going to have a meeting, you need to make sure that all the documentation is accessible to those who aren't going to read the print. I take it further and say you shouldn't be giving out documentation during the meeting. And you can use the excuse, well, I got to get the latest numbers and all that. And my point is, you shouldn't be giving out documentation at a meeting, because the meeting is for people to communicate and interact with each other. And if you're giving out papers and so on, what are people going to do? They're going to read that, and they're not going to listen to the speakers. They're not going to listen to the other people. And we do so many things like that, we've gotten into a habit of doing things that become so predictable, but also make meetings very boring, because who wants to look at the papers where you can be listening to people who have a lot more constructive and interesting things to say anyway?   Greg Schwem ** 39:36 Yeah, yeah. I think, I think COVID definitely changed, some for the some for the better and some for the worse. I think that a lot of things that were done at meetings COVID and made us realize a lot of that stuff could be done virtually, that you didn't have to just have everybody sit and listen to people over and over and over again.   Speaker 1 ** 39:58 But unless you're Donald Trump. Up. Yeah, that's another story.   Greg Schwem ** 40:02 Yes, exactly another podcast episode. But, yeah, I do think also that. I think COVID changed audiences. I think, you know, we talked a little bit earlier about crowd work, right, and audiences wanting to be more involved. I think COVID precipitated that, because, if you think about it, Michael, for two and a half years during COVID, our sole source of entertainment was our phone, right? Which meant that we were in charge of the entertainment experience. You don't like something, swipe left, scroll down, scroll, scroll, scroll, find something else. You know, that kind of thing. I'm not I'm not entertained in the next four or five seconds. So I'm going to do this. And I think when live entertainment returned, audiences kind of had to be retrained a little bit, where they had to learn to sit and listen and wait for the entertainment to come to them. And granted, it might not happen immediately. It might not happen in the first five seconds, but you have to just give give people like me a chance. It will come to you. It will happen, but it might not be on your timetable,   Speaker 1 ** 41:13 right? Well, and I think that is all too true for me. I didn't find didn't find COVID to be a great inconvenience, because I don't look at the screen anyway, right? So in a sense, for me, COVID wasn't that much of a change, other than not being in an office or not being physically at a meeting, and so I was listening to the meeting on the computer, and that has its nuances. Like you don't necessarily get the same information about how everyone around you is reacting, but, but it didn't bother me, I think, nearly as much as it did everyone else who has to look at everyone. Of course, I have no problems picking on all those people as well, because what I point out is that that disabilities has to be redefined, because every one of you guys has your own disability. You're light dependent, and you don't do well when there's dark, when, when the dark shows up and and we now have an environment where Thomas Edison invented the electric light bulb, and we've spent the last 147 years doing everything we can to make sure that light is pretty ubiquitous, but it doesn't change a thing when suddenly the power goes out and you don't have immediate access to light. So that's as much a disability as us light, independent people who don't   Greg Schwem ** 42:36 care about that, right? Right? I hear, I agree, but it is but   Speaker 1 ** 42:41 it is interesting and and it is also important that we all understand each other and are willing to tolerate the fact that there are differences in people, and we need to recognize that with whatever we're doing.   42:53 Yeah, I agree.   Speaker 1 ** 42:57 What do you think about so today, we have obviously a really fractured environment and fractured country, and everyone's got their own opinions, and nobody wants to talk about anything, especially politics wise. How do you think that's all affecting comedy and what you get to do and what other people are doing?   Greg Schwem ** 43:18 Well, I think Pete, I think there's, there's multiple answers to that question too. I think, I think it makes people nervous, wondering what the minute a comedian on stage brings up politics, the minute he starts talking about a politician, whether it's our president, whether it's somebody else, you can sense a tension in the room a little bit, and it's, it's, I mean, it's funny. I, one of my best friends in comedy, got to open for another comedian at Carnegie Hall a couple of years ago, and I went to see him, and I'm sitting way up in the top, and he is just crushing it. And then at one point he he brought up, he decided to do an impression of Mitch McConnell, which he does very well. However, the minute he said, Mitch McConnell, I you could just sense this is Carnegie freaking Hall, and after the show, you know, he and I always like to dissect each other's shows. That's what comedians do. And I just said to him, I go. Why did you decide to insert Mitch McConnell in there? And I, and I didn't say it like, you moron, that was stupid, yeah, but I was genuinely curious. And he just goes, well, I just really like doing that bit, and I like doing that voice and so forth, but, and it's not like the show crashed and burned afterwards. No, he did the joke, and then he got out of it, and he went on to other stuff, and it was fine, but I think that people are just so on their guard now, yeah, and, and that's why, you know, you know Jay Leno always said he was an equal opportunity offender. I think you will do better with politics if you really want. Insert politics into your act. I think he would be better making fun of both sides. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. And I think too often comedians now use the the stage as kind of a Bully, bully pulpit, like I have microphone and you don't. I am now going to give you my take on Donald Trump or the Democrats or whatever, and I've always said, talk about anything you want on stage, but just remember, you're at a comedy club. People came to laugh. So is there a joke in here? Yeah, or are you just ranting because you gotta be careful. You have to get this off your chest, and your way is right. It's, it's, you know, I hate to say it, but that's, that's why podcast, no offense, Michael, yours, is not like this. But I think one of the reasons podcasters have gotten so popular is a lot of people, just a lot of podcast hosts see a podcast is a chance to just rant about whatever's on their mind. And it's amazing to me how many podcast hosts that are hosted by comedians have a second guy have a sidekick to basically laugh and agree with whatever that person says. I think Joe Rogan is a classic example, and he's one of the most popular ones. But, and I don't quite understand that, because you know, if you're a comedian, you you made the choice to work solo, right? So why do you need somebody else with you?   Speaker 1 ** 46:33 I'm I'm fairly close to Leno. My remark is a little bit different. I'm not so much an equal opportunity offender as I am an equal opportunity abuser. I'll pick on both sides if politics comes into it at all, and it's and it's fun, and I remember when George W Bush was leaving the White House, Letterman said, Now we're not going to have anybody to joke about anymore. And everyone loved it. But still, I recognize that in the world today, people don't want to hear anything else. Don't confuse me with the facts or any of that, and it's so unfortunate, but it is the way it is, and so it's wiser to stay away from a lot of that, unless you can really break through the barrier,   Greg Schwem ** 47:21 I think so. And I also think that people, one thing you have to remember, I think, is when people come to a comedy show, they are coming to be entertained. Yeah, they are coming to kind of escape from the gloom and doom that unfortunately permeates our world right now. You know? I mean, I've always said that if you, if you walked up to a comedy club on a Saturday night, and let's say there were 50 people waiting outside, waiting to get in, and you asked all 50 of them, what do you hope happens tonight? Or or, Why are you here? All right, I think from all 50 you would get I would just like to laugh, yeah, I don't think one of them is going to say, you know, I really hope that my opinions on what's happening in the Middle East get challenged right now, but he's a comedian. No one is going to say that. No, no. It's like, I hope I get into it with the comedian on stage, because he thinks this way about a woman's right to choose, and I think the other way. And I really, really hope that he and I will get into an argument about to the middle of the   Speaker 1 ** 48:37 show. Yeah, yeah. That's not why people come?   Greg Schwem ** 48:40 No, it's not. And I, unfortunately, I think again, I think that there's a lot of comedians that don't understand that. Yeah, again, talk about whatever you want on stage, but just remember that your your surroundings, you if you build yourself as a comedian,   48:56 make it funny. Yeah, be funny.   Speaker 1 ** 49:00 Well, and nowadays, especially for for you, for me and so on, we're we're growing older and and I think you point out audiences are getting younger. How do you deal with that?   Greg Schwem ** 49:12 Well, what I try to do is I a couple of things. I try to talk as much as I can about topics that are relevant to a younger generation. Ai being one, I, one of the things I do in my my show is I say, oh, you know, I I really wasn't sure how to start off. And when you're confused these days, you you turn to answer your questions. You turn to chat GPT, and I've actually written, you know, said to chat GPT, you know, I'm doing a show tonight for a group of construction workers who work in the Midwest. It's a $350 million company, and it says, try to be very specific. Give me a funny opening line. And of course, chat GPT always comes up with some. Something kind of stupid, which I then relate to the audience, and they love that, you know, they love that concept. So I think there's, obviously, there's a lot of material that you can do on generational differences, but I, I will say I am very, very aware that my audience is, for the most part, younger than me now, unless I want to spend the rest of my career doing you know, over 55 communities, not that they're not great laughers, but I also think there's a real challenge in being older than your audience and still being able to make them laugh. But I think you have to remember, like you said, there's there's people now that don't remember 911 that have no concept of it, yeah, so don't be doing references from, say, the 1980s or the early 1990s and then come off stage and go, Man, nobody that didn't hit at all. No one, no one. They're stupid. They don't get it. Well, no, they, they, it sounds they don't get it. It's just that they weren't around. They weren't around, right? So that's on you.   Speaker 1 ** 51:01 One of the things that you know people ask me is if I will do virtual events, and I'll do virtual events, but I also tell people, the reason I prefer to do in person events is that I can sense what the audience is doing, how they're reacting and what they feel. If I'm in a room speaking to people, and I don't have that same sense if I'm doing something virtually, agreed same way. Now for me, at the same time, I've been doing this now for 23 years, so I have a pretty good idea in general, how to interact with an audience, to draw them in, even in a virtual environment, but I still tend to be a little bit more careful about it, and it's just kind of the way it is, you know, and you and you learn to deal with it well for you, have you ever had writer's block, and how did you deal with it?   Greg Schwem ** 51:57 Yes, I have had writer's block. I don't I can't think of a single comedian who's never had writer's block, and if they say they haven't, I think they're lying when I have writer's block, the best way for me to deal with this and just so you know, I'm not the kind of comedian that can go that can sit down and write jokes. I can write stories. I've written three books, but I can't sit down and just be funny for an hour all by myself. I need interaction. I need communication. And I think when I have writer's block, I tend to go out and try and meet strangers and can engage them in conversation and find out what's going on with them. I mean, you mentioned about dealing with the younger audience. I am a big believer right now in talking to people who are half my age. I like doing that in social settings, because I just, I'm curious. I'm curious as to how they think. I'm curious as to, you know, how they spend money, how they save money, how what their hopes and dreams are for the future, what that kind of thing, and that's the kind of stuff that then I'll take back and try and write material about. And I think that, I think it's fun for me, and it's really fun to meet somebody who I'll give you a great example just last night. Last night, I was I there's a there's a bar that I have that's about 10 a stone's throw from my condo, and I love to stop in there and and every now and then, sometimes I'll sit there and I won't meet anybody, and sometimes different. So there was a guy, I'd say he's probably in his early 30s, sitting too over, and he was reading, which I find intriguing, that people come to a bar and read, yeah, people do it, I mean. And I just said to him, I go, and he was getting ready to pay his bill, and I just said, if you don't mind me asking, What are you reading? And he's like, Oh, it's by Ezra Klein. And I go, you know, I've listened to Ezra Klein before. And he goes, Yeah, you know? He says, I'm a big fan. And debt to debt to dad. Next thing, you know, we're just, we're just riffing back and forth. And I ended up staying. He put it this way, Michael, it took him a very long time to pay his bill because we had a conversation, and it was just such a pleasure to to people like that, and I think that, and it's a hard thing. It's a hard thing for me to do, because I think people are on their guard, a little bit like, why is this guy who's twice my age talking to me at a bar? That's that seems a little weird. And I would get that. I can see that. But as I mentioned in my latest book, I don't mean because I don't a whole chapter to this, and I I say in the book, I don't mean you any harm. I'm not trying to hit on you, or I'm not creepy old guy at the bar. I am genuinely interested in your story. And. In your life, and and I just, I want to be the least interesting guy in the room, and that's kind of how I go about my writing, too. Is just you, you drive the story. And even though I'm the comedian, I'll just fill in the gaps and make them funny.   Speaker 1 ** 55:15 Well, I know that I have often been invited to speak at places, and I wondered, What am I going to say to this particular audience? How am I going to deal with them? They're they're different than what I'm used to. What I found, I guess you could call that writer's block, but what I found is, if I can go early and interact with them, even if I'm the very first speaker, if I can interact with them beforehand, or if there are other people speaking before me, invariably, I will hear things that will allow me to be able to move on and give a relevant presentation specifically to that group, which is what it's really all about. And so I'm with you, and I appreciate it, and it's good to get to the point where you don't worry about the block, but rather you look at ways to move forward and interact with people and make it fun, right,   Greg Schwem ** 56:13 right? And I do think people, I think COVID, took that away from us a little bit, yeah, obviously, but I but, and I do think people missed that. I think that people, once you get them talking, are more inclined to not think that you're you have ulterior motives. I think people do enjoy putting their phones down a little bit, but it's, it's kind of a two way street when I, when I do meet people, if it's if it's only me asking the questions, eventually I'm going to get tired of that. Yeah, I think there's a, there has to be a reciprocity thing a little bit. And one thing I find is, is with the Gen Z's and maybe millennials. They're not, they're not as good at that as I think they could be. They're more they're they're happy to talk about themselves, but they're not really good at saying so what do you do for a living? Or what you know, tell me about you. And I mean, that's how you learn about other people. Yeah,   Speaker 1 ** 57:19 tell me about your your latest book, Turning gut punches into punchlines. That's a interesting title, yeah, well, the more   Greg Schwem ** 57:26 interesting is the subtitle. So it's turning gut punches into punch punch lines, A Comedian's journey through cancer, divorce and other hilarious stuff.   Speaker 1 ** 57:35 No, like you haven't done anything in the world. Okay, right? So   Greg Schwem ** 57:38 other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln. Yeah, exactly. See, now you get that reference. I don't know if I could use that on stage, but anyway, depend on your audience. But yeah, they're like, What's he talking   Speaker 1 ** 57:50 who's Lincoln? And I've been to Ford theater too, so that's okay, yes, as have I. So it was much later than, than, well, than Lincoln, but that's okay.   Greg Schwem ** 57:58 You're not that old, right? No. Well, okay, so as the title, as the title implies, I did have sort of a double, double gut punch, it just in the last two years. So I, I got divorced late in life, after 29 years of marriage. And while that was going on, I got a colon cancer diagnosis and and at this end, I was dealing with all this while also continuing work as a humor speaker, okay, as a comedian. And I just decided I got it. First of all, I got a very clean bill of health. I'm cancer free. I am finally divorced so and I, I started to think, I wonder if there's some humor in this. I I would, I would, you know, Michael, I've been on stage for like, 25 years telling people that, you know, you can find something funny to laugh at. You can find humor in any situation. It's kind of like what you're talking about all the people going down the stairs in the building in the world trade center. All right, if you look around enough, you know, maybe there's something funny, and I've been preaching that, but I never really had to live that until now. And I thought, you know, maybe there's something here. Maybe I can this is my chance now to embrace new experiences. It was kind of when I got divorced, when you've been married half your life and all of a sudden you get divorced, everything's new to you, yeah, you're, you're, you're living alone, you you're doing things that your spouse did, oh, so many years. And you're having to do those, and you're having to make new friends, yeah, and all of that, I think, is very humorous. So the more I saw a book in there that I started writing before the cancer diagnosis, and I thought was there enough here? Just like, okay, a guy at 60 years old gets divorced now what's going to happen to him? The diagnosis? Kind. Made it just added another wrinkle to the book, because now I have to deal with this, and I have to find another subject to to make light of a little bit. So the book is not a memoir, you know, I don't start it off. And, you know, when I was seven, you know, I played, you know, I was, I went to this school night. It's not that. It's more just about reinvention and just seeing that you can be happy later in life, even though you have to kind of rewrite your your story a little   Speaker 1 ** 1:00:33 bit. And I would assume, and I would assume, you bring some of that into your ACT every so   Greg Schwem ** 1:00:38 very much. So yeah, I created a whole new speech called Turning gut punches into punchlines. And I some of the stuff that I, that I did, but, you know, there's a chapter in the book about, I about gig work, actually three chapters I, you know, I went to work for Amazon during the Christmas holiday rush, just scanning packages. I wanted to see what that was like. I drove for Uber I which I did for a while. And to tell you the truth, I miss it. I ended up selling my car, but I miss it because of the what we just talked about. It was a great way to communicate with people. It was a great way to talk to people, find out about them, be the least interesting person in the car, anyway. And there's a chapter about dating and online dating, which I had not had to do in 30 years. There's a lot of humor in that. I went to therapy. I'd never gone to therapy before. I wrote a chapter about that. So I think people really respond to this book, because they I think they see a lot of themselves in it. You know, lots of people have been divorced. There's lots of cancer survivors out there, and there's lots of people who just suddenly have hit a speed bump in their life, and they're not really sure how to deal with it, right? And my way, this book is just about deal with it through laughter. And I'm the perfect example.   Speaker 1 ** 1:01:56 I hear you, Oh, I I know, and I've been through the same sort of thing as you not a divorce, but my wife and I were married for 40 years, and she passed away in November of 2022 after 40 years of marriage. And as I tell people, as I tell people, I got to be really careful, because she's monitoring me from somewhere, and if I misbehave, I'm going to hear about it, so I got to be a good kid, and I don't even chase the women so. But I also point out that none of them have been chasing me either, so I guess I just do what we got to do. But the reality is, I think there are always ways to find some sort of a connection with other people, and then, of course, that's what what you do. It's all about creating a connection, creating a relationship, even if it's only for a couple of hours or an hour or 45 minutes, but, but you do it, which is what it's all about?   Greg Schwem ** 1:02:49 Yeah, exactly. And I think the funniest stuff is real life experience. Oh, absolutely, you know. And if people can see themselves in in what I've written, then I've done my job as a writer.   Speaker 1 ** 1:03:03 So do you have any plans to retire?   Greg Schwem ** 1:03:06 Never. I mean, good for you retire from what   1:03:09 I know right, making fun of people   Greg Schwem ** 1:03:12 and making them laugh. I mean, I don't know what I would do with myself, and even if I there's always going to be I don't care how technology, technologically advanced our society gets. People will always want and need to laugh. Yeah, they're always going to want to do that. And if they're want, if they're wanting to do that, then I will find, I will find a way to get to them. And that's why I, as I said, That's why, like working on cruise ships has become, like a new, sort of a new avenue for me to make people laugh. And so, yeah, I don't I there's, there's no way. I don't know what else I would do with   Speaker 1 ** 1:03:53 myself, well and from my perspective, as long as I can inspire people, yes, I can make people think a little bit and feel better about themselves. I'm going to do it right. And, and, and I do. And I wrote a book during COVID that was published last August called Live like a guide dog. And it's all about helping people learn to control fear. And I use lessons I learned from eight guide dogs and my wife service dog to do that. My wife was in a wheelchair her whole life. Great marriage. She read, I pushed worked out well, but, but the but the but the bottom line is that dogs can teach us so many lessons, and there's so much that we can learn from them. So I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to create this book and and get it out there. And I think that again, as long as I can continue to inspire people, I'm going to do it. Because   Greg Schwem ** 1:04:47 why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't I exactly right? Yeah, yeah. So,   Speaker 1 ** 1:04:51 I mean, I think if I, if I stopped, I think my wife would beat up on me, so I gotta be nice exactly. She's monitoring from somewhere

Eddie Murphy said he got bad advice from Rodney Dangerfield.I've gotten crummy advice from my brother. Women are getting lousy advice from podcast ladies. They just on these mics saying anything for attention. Today I discuss selling mercy like Beyonce, not listening to Dr. Umar about marriage, not listening to Simps like Derek Jaxson and why Podcast Women are mental. Very exciting show today.How come your not following this show? Your missing out on one of the best. Listen and subscribe now.

THE TREE PEOPLE greet QUESTLOVE warmly into their abode with open arms. He is in awe of the intricate beauty and allure of the hidden land amongst the trees. In essence, they have been expecting QUESTLOVE'S arrival for quite some time; though he quite innocently only had wandered up the tree, initially to have a break from the wild party below, he in an instant found himself at peace there, and soon his new friends, calling from the peaks of the interwoven world Oh, lol ‘The Roots' –I get it Shh. Not yet. We're almost there. Lil bitz So I go to tranfer trains out of Manhattan headed toward Brooklyn and I head to the airport be of the platform, cause that's where my car is And there's this crazy guy like freaking out Like “Aghhhhhhhhhhh!” And everyone is standing away from him, like, at a safe distance, and I'm lik, suicidal like “Meh, we are the same.” He's freaking out, he even gets real close “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”” I'm like “Fuck it.” So he's freaking out— and that's not the funny part— “ That's actually very serious— serious mental health problems New York City has— But the funny part is this dude is kind of realizing I'm the only one that isn't standing away from him, and so he gets closer, I'm like “whatever, my crazy is in the inside, it's okay” But the funny part is, the rain starts coming, so people start getting closer and up comes this lady, and without saying anything, she sees this dude is kind of close to me and like checks up on me, just naturally— This is why I love New York, this was a sunny display of human kindness, without saying anything— She kind of just comes up with her umbrella in both hands like a fucking baseball bat and she's like “You good? I got an umbrella!” And just kind of smacks it against her hand like a police baton, she's looking down this dude like “Batter up, bitch!” I'm like “Thanks homie, damn! But I'm good, like… I'm about to jump in front of this oncoming train— that shit's crazy. This guy's okay, though, he's really not..: You know. “I got an umbrella!” Daaaamn homie! Okay! The immortal Citezens bigade The temple of sound Corpus Unam It started out st TiTs, but it ended up at TAINT. STEFON Isn't it wonderful? no! This place is gross! I want to go home now. JOHNNY DEPP finally wakes up from that nap. He looks confused. Which club was it?! It wasn't a club! I told you a spade! But I have four aces I have four aces Vegas will all make sense now Every tattoo is a closure You lose your composure when you come close so, Write me a letter I hope you feel better, with medicine I hope every note I ever spoke or wrote about you Pulls your hair grey Or out Until it's all gone I'm sure I'm a problem I'm no Monroe, O'Fallon Suddenly it's back again Like a flash, I reacted to the paralyzing waves of danger I sense on every strange aspect of this Garage lined industrial turned residential Dumpster to a nightmare And I'm sure I'm there I saw you blew it And evacuated; All day my brainwaves are Will Forte Leslie Jones And Dratch In no particular order, Last night was a whole show I had Eddie Murphy over For Richard Pryor We all won Oscars, Is that not the most remarkable thing That ever happened on this block? Show people I got no morals, no decorum No noteworthy Toolbox No trustworthy robots Not a dollar to my net worth I own networks, all of them Merge them all into a media conglomerate I grow doll hair out of my pretty eyeballs I don't go where the sun don't shine So the sun don't shine at Rockerfeller Plaza. AHAHA charade you all are And I'm just Monday Hot gossip Just fall out, blossom Just got hot dollops on a lot of chocolate Armed library coture And if you're not sure if or not I've lost it I sure have, You won But I'm all for one What'd you call it Rotten mouth show Rotten acoundrels, candy apples I tipped four hogs over Your lost faux of conciousness on All of the waffles The Oscar's was the award Cause God Sure Loves Conan Fuck you hospital hoe. I know I failed SNL Before I even got started Hidden Silent Cosmic Circles But still Sometimes I can't help But love them all[Liz] JOHNNY DEPP … is this the Boom Boom Room? No, Johnny. It is not. I asked for The Boom Boom Room! I saw Beyonce on the ride home But I don't wonder why were wonderful I just roll on. Something like troll under a bridge cause That's where it is when you wriggle it into your middle finger just to dismantle the antics the candle the hammer the mattress the fell on the family the Fallon the manhole the Gasp! See I told you it's a trap. So why not impale your life on the rim of the holy grail, Holy hell I skipped supper seven days just to acquire A cigarette lighter I see Tina Fey in everything When it makes sense And sense when did I get this obsessive about Nonsense I was just Never that fucking interested in? Sitting in the kitchen without pants on Hair half braided hating my apartment Like I forgot I was lucky to have one But what fun is it in a dungeon When in any direction you escape You take the L! I failed at l finger economics One Two Three Four I Declare A Thumb War! And the world keeps going Like over and ovver, But those two dumb dumbs Are still thumb warrig, and so the story goes On and on Like I never fell off the roof, Like I never turned my tv off Like I never wanted Timmy Turner Like i'm not about to run a life up my arm Like I'm lying about the psychotic Like I can't be anywhere but here? My circle is bigger And my friends, are fans And my fans, You're a fan of Hire a lawyer To fight a white girl Who slams doors In the Trump World No thanks. I'd rather be buried alive Then at least it's quiet. Just be glad you're alive! Why?! If I'm not thriving And trust me as I sit writing The uglies are warring me out of the world I belong in. This one is suffering and dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores But you'll never know the answer Without words And son, I just don't want to have them No, I never want to talk about it Unless you're the Oprah And why would Oprah even want To open the apostle up, When I just told the decoy Every other problem I've ever had. Wonder what? My words are words, And long after the world turns over I'll be remembered as someone everyone loves For writing about how no one ever really loved her. So I cry until my stomach hurts, And I catch the door before it slams, And I never kick the cat, so the cat comes back But Fans And fans And fans. I never kick the cat, So the cat comes back And fans And fans And fans I never kick the cat So the cat comes back And I can't hit her So she acts like that So she acts like that So she acts like that And fans And fans And fans {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

THE TREE PEOPLE greet QUESTLOVE warmly into their abode with open arms. He is in awe of the intricate beauty and allure of the hidden land amongst the trees. In essence, they have been expecting QUESTLOVE'S arrival for quite some time; though he quite innocently only had wandered up the tree, initially to have a break from the wild party below, he in an instant found himself at peace there, and soon his new friends, calling from the peaks of the interwoven world Oh, lol ‘The Roots' –I get it Shh. Not yet. We're almost there. Lil bitz So I go to tranfer trains out of Manhattan headed toward Brooklyn and I head to the airport be of the platform, cause that's where my car is And there's this crazy guy like freaking out Like “Aghhhhhhhhhhh!” And everyone is standing away from him, like, at a safe distance, and I'm lik, suicidal like “Meh, we are the same.” He's freaking out, he even gets real close “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”” I'm like “Fuck it.” So he's freaking out— and that's not the funny part— “ That's actually very serious— serious mental health problems New York City has— But the funny part is this dude is kind of realizing I'm the only one that isn't standing away from him, and so he gets closer, I'm like “whatever, my crazy is in the inside, it's okay” But the funny part is, the rain starts coming, so people start getting closer and up comes this lady, and without saying anything, she sees this dude is kind of close to me and like checks up on me, just naturally— This is why I love New York, this was a sunny display of human kindness, without saying anything— She kind of just comes up with her umbrella in both hands like a fucking baseball bat and she's like “You good? I got an umbrella!” And just kind of smacks it against her hand like a police baton, she's looking down this dude like “Batter up, bitch!” I'm like “Thanks homie, damn! But I'm good, like… I'm about to jump in front of this oncoming train— that shit's crazy. This guy's okay, though, he's really not..: You know. “I got an umbrella!” Daaaamn homie! Okay! The immortal Citezens bigade The temple of sound Corpus Unam It started out st TiTs, but it ended up at TAINT. STEFON Isn't it wonderful? no! This place is gross! I want to go home now. JOHNNY DEPP finally wakes up from that nap. He looks confused. Which club was it?! It wasn't a club! I told you a spade! But I have four aces I have four aces Vegas will all make sense now Every tattoo is a closure You lose your composure when you come close so, Write me a letter I hope you feel better, with medicine I hope every note I ever spoke or wrote about you Pulls your hair grey Or out Until it's all gone I'm sure I'm a problem I'm no Monroe, O'Fallon Suddenly it's back again Like a flash, I reacted to the paralyzing waves of danger I sense on every strange aspect of this Garage lined industrial turned residential Dumpster to a nightmare And I'm sure I'm there I saw you blew it And evacuated; All day my brainwaves are Will Forte Leslie Jones And Dratch In no particular order, Last night was a whole show I had Eddie Murphy over For Richard Pryor We all won Oscars, Is that not the most remarkable thing That ever happened on this block? Show people I got no morals, no decorum No noteworthy Toolbox No trustworthy robots Not a dollar to my net worth I own networks, all of them Merge them all into a media conglomerate I grow doll hair out of my pretty eyeballs I don't go where the sun don't shine So the sun don't shine at Rockerfeller Plaza. AHAHA charade you all are And I'm just Monday Hot gossip Just fall out, blossom Just got hot dollops on a lot of chocolate Armed library coture And if you're not sure if or not I've lost it I sure have, You won But I'm all for one What'd you call it Rotten mouth show Rotten acoundrels, candy apples I tipped four hogs over Your lost faux of conciousness on All of the waffles The Oscar's was the award Cause God Sure Loves Conan Fuck you hospital hoe. I know I failed SNL Before I even got started Hidden Silent Cosmic Circles But still Sometimes I can't help But love them all[Liz] JOHNNY DEPP … is this the Boom Boom Room? No, Johnny. It is not. I asked for The Boom Boom Room! I saw Beyonce on the ride home But I don't wonder why were wonderful I just roll on. Something like troll under a bridge cause That's where it is when you wriggle it into your middle finger just to dismantle the antics the candle the hammer the mattress the fell on the family the Fallon the manhole the Gasp! See I told you it's a trap. So why not impale your life on the rim of the holy grail, Holy hell I skipped supper seven days just to acquire A cigarette lighter I see Tina Fey in everything When it makes sense And sense when did I get this obsessive about Nonsense I was just Never that fucking interested in? Sitting in the kitchen without pants on Hair half braided hating my apartment Like I forgot I was lucky to have one But what fun is it in a dungeon When in any direction you escape You take the L! I failed at l finger economics One Two Three Four I Declare A Thumb War! And the world keeps going Like over and ovver, But those two dumb dumbs Are still thumb warrig, and so the story goes On and on Like I never fell off the roof, Like I never turned my tv off Like I never wanted Timmy Turner Like i'm not about to run a life up my arm Like I'm lying about the psychotic Like I can't be anywhere but here? My circle is bigger And my friends, are fans And my fans, You're a fan of Hire a lawyer To fight a white girl Who slams doors In the Trump World No thanks. I'd rather be buried alive Then at least it's quiet. Just be glad you're alive! Why?! If I'm not thriving And trust me as I sit writing The uglies are warring me out of the world I belong in. This one is suffering and dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores But you'll never know the answer Without words And son, I just don't want to have them No, I never want to talk about it Unless you're the Oprah And why would Oprah even want To open the apostle up, When I just told the decoy Every other problem I've ever had. Wonder what? My words are words, And long after the world turns over I'll be remembered as someone everyone loves For writing about how no one ever really loved her. So I cry until my stomach hurts, And I catch the door before it slams, And I never kick the cat, so the cat comes back But Fans And fans And fans. I never kick the cat, So the cat comes back And fans And fans And fans I never kick the cat So the cat comes back And I can't hit her So she acts like that So she acts like that So she acts like that And fans And fans And fans {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

THE TREE PEOPLE greet QUESTLOVE warmly into their abode with open arms. He is in awe of the intricate beauty and allure of the hidden land amongst the trees. In essence, they have been expecting QUESTLOVE'S arrival for quite some time; though he quite innocently only had wandered up the tree, initially to have a break from the wild party below, he in an instant found himself at peace there, and soon his new friends, calling from the peaks of the interwoven world Oh, lol ‘The Roots' –I get it Shh. Not yet. We're almost there. Lil bitz So I go to tranfer trains out of Manhattan headed toward Brooklyn and I head to the airport be of the platform, cause that's where my car is And there's this crazy guy like freaking out Like “Aghhhhhhhhhhh!” And everyone is standing away from him, like, at a safe distance, and I'm lik, suicidal like “Meh, we are the same.” He's freaking out, he even gets real close “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”” I'm like “Fuck it.” So he's freaking out— and that's not the funny part— “ That's actually very serious— serious mental health problems New York City has— But the funny part is this dude is kind of realizing I'm the only one that isn't standing away from him, and so he gets closer, I'm like “whatever, my crazy is in the inside, it's okay” But the funny part is, the rain starts coming, so people start getting closer and up comes this lady, and without saying anything, she sees this dude is kind of close to me and like checks up on me, just naturally— This is why I love New York, this was a sunny display of human kindness, without saying anything— She kind of just comes up with her umbrella in both hands like a fucking baseball bat and she's like “You good? I got an umbrella!” And just kind of smacks it against her hand like a police baton, she's looking down this dude like “Batter up, bitch!” I'm like “Thanks homie, damn! But I'm good, like… I'm about to jump in front of this oncoming train— that shit's crazy. This guy's okay, though, he's really not..: You know. “I got an umbrella!” Daaaamn homie! Okay! The immortal Citezens bigade The temple of sound Corpus Unam It started out st TiTs, but it ended up at TAINT. STEFON Isn't it wonderful? no! This place is gross! I want to go home now. JOHNNY DEPP finally wakes up from that nap. He looks confused. Which club was it?! It wasn't a club! I told you a spade! But I have four aces I have four aces Vegas will all make sense now Every tattoo is a closure You lose your composure when you come close so, Write me a letter I hope you feel better, with medicine I hope every note I ever spoke or wrote about you Pulls your hair grey Or out Until it's all gone I'm sure I'm a problem I'm no Monroe, O'Fallon Suddenly it's back again Like a flash, I reacted to the paralyzing waves of danger I sense on every strange aspect of this Garage lined industrial turned residential Dumpster to a nightmare And I'm sure I'm there I saw you blew it And evacuated; All day my brainwaves are Will Forte Leslie Jones And Dratch In no particular order, Last night was a whole show I had Eddie Murphy over For Richard Pryor We all won Oscars, Is that not the most remarkable thing That ever happened on this block? Show people I got no morals, no decorum No noteworthy Toolbox No trustworthy robots Not a dollar to my net worth I own networks, all of them Merge them all into a media conglomerate I grow doll hair out of my pretty eyeballs I don't go where the sun don't shine So the sun don't shine at Rockerfeller Plaza. AHAHA charade you all are And I'm just Monday Hot gossip Just fall out, blossom Just got hot dollops on a lot of chocolate Armed library coture And if you're not sure if or not I've lost it I sure have, You won But I'm all for one What'd you call it Rotten mouth show Rotten acoundrels, candy apples I tipped four hogs over Your lost faux of conciousness on All of the waffles The Oscar's was the award Cause God Sure Loves Conan Fuck you hospital hoe. I know I failed SNL Before I even got started Hidden Silent Cosmic Circles But still Sometimes I can't help But love them all[Liz] JOHNNY DEPP … is this the Boom Boom Room? No, Johnny. It is not. I asked for The Boom Boom Room! I saw Beyonce on the ride home But I don't wonder why were wonderful I just roll on. Something like troll under a bridge cause That's where it is when you wriggle it into your middle finger just to dismantle the antics the candle the hammer the mattress the fell on the family the Fallon the manhole the Gasp! See I told you it's a trap. So why not impale your life on the rim of the holy grail, Holy hell I skipped supper seven days just to acquire A cigarette lighter I see Tina Fey in everything When it makes sense And sense when did I get this obsessive about Nonsense I was just Never that fucking interested in? Sitting in the kitchen without pants on Hair half braided hating my apartment Like I forgot I was lucky to have one But what fun is it in a dungeon When in any direction you escape You take the L! I failed at l finger economics One Two Three Four I Declare A Thumb War! And the world keeps going Like over and ovver, But those two dumb dumbs Are still thumb warrig, and so the story goes On and on Like I never fell off the roof, Like I never turned my tv off Like I never wanted Timmy Turner Like i'm not about to run a life up my arm Like I'm lying about the psychotic Like I can't be anywhere but here? My circle is bigger And my friends, are fans And my fans, You're a fan of Hire a lawyer To fight a white girl Who slams doors In the Trump World No thanks. I'd rather be buried alive Then at least it's quiet. Just be glad you're alive! Why?! If I'm not thriving And trust me as I sit writing The uglies are warring me out of the world I belong in. This one is suffering and dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores But you'll never know the answer Without words And son, I just don't want to have them No, I never want to talk about it Unless you're the Oprah And why would Oprah even want To open the apostle up, When I just told the decoy Every other problem I've ever had. Wonder what? My words are words, And long after the world turns over I'll be remembered as someone everyone loves For writing about how no one ever really loved her. So I cry until my stomach hurts, And I catch the door before it slams, And I never kick the cat, so the cat comes back But Fans And fans And fans. I never kick the cat, So the cat comes back And fans And fans And fans I never kick the cat So the cat comes back And I can't hit her So she acts like that So she acts like that So she acts like that And fans And fans And fans {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

THE TREE PEOPLE greet QUESTLOVE warmly into their abode with open arms. He is in awe of the intricate beauty and allure of the hidden land amongst the trees. In essence, they have been expecting QUESTLOVE'S arrival for quite some time; though he quite innocently only had wandered up the tree, initially to have a break from the wild party below, he in an instant found himself at peace there, and soon his new friends, calling from the peaks of the interwoven world Oh, lol ‘The Roots' –I get it Shh. Not yet. We're almost there. Lil bitz So I go to tranfer trains out of Manhattan headed toward Brooklyn and I head to the airport be of the platform, cause that's where my car is And there's this crazy guy like freaking out Like “Aghhhhhhhhhhh!” And everyone is standing away from him, like, at a safe distance, and I'm lik, suicidal like “Meh, we are the same.” He's freaking out, he even gets real close “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”” I'm like “Fuck it.” So he's freaking out— and that's not the funny part— “ That's actually very serious— serious mental health problems New York City has— But the funny part is this dude is kind of realizing I'm the only one that isn't standing away from him, and so he gets closer, I'm like “whatever, my crazy is in the inside, it's okay” But the funny part is, the rain starts coming, so people start getting closer and up comes this lady, and without saying anything, she sees this dude is kind of close to me and like checks up on me, just naturally— This is why I love New York, this was a sunny display of human kindness, without saying anything— She kind of just comes up with her umbrella in both hands like a fucking baseball bat and she's like “You good? I got an umbrella!” And just kind of smacks it against her hand like a police baton, she's looking down this dude like “Batter up, bitch!” I'm like “Thanks homie, damn! But I'm good, like… I'm about to jump in front of this oncoming train— that shit's crazy. This guy's okay, though, he's really not..: You know. “I got an umbrella!” Daaaamn homie! Okay! The immortal Citezens bigade The temple of sound Corpus Unam It started out st TiTs, but it ended up at TAINT. STEFON Isn't it wonderful? no! This place is gross! I want to go home now. JOHNNY DEPP finally wakes up from that nap. He looks confused. Which club was it?! It wasn't a club! I told you a spade! But I have four aces I have four aces Vegas will all make sense now Every tattoo is a closure You lose your composure when you come close so, Write me a letter I hope you feel better, with medicine I hope every note I ever spoke or wrote about you Pulls your hair grey Or out Until it's all gone I'm sure I'm a problem I'm no Monroe, O'Fallon Suddenly it's back again Like a flash, I reacted to the paralyzing waves of danger I sense on every strange aspect of this Garage lined industrial turned residential Dumpster to a nightmare And I'm sure I'm there I saw you blew it And evacuated; All day my brainwaves are Will Forte Leslie Jones And Dratch In no particular order, Last night was a whole show I had Eddie Murphy over For Richard Pryor We all won Oscars, Is that not the most remarkable thing That ever happened on this block? Show people I got no morals, no decorum No noteworthy Toolbox No trustworthy robots Not a dollar to my net worth I own networks, all of them Merge them all into a media conglomerate I grow doll hair out of my pretty eyeballs I don't go where the sun don't shine So the sun don't shine at Rockerfeller Plaza. AHAHA charade you all are And I'm just Monday Hot gossip Just fall out, blossom Just got hot dollops on a lot of chocolate Armed library coture And if you're not sure if or not I've lost it I sure have, You won But I'm all for one What'd you call it Rotten mouth show Rotten acoundrels, candy apples I tipped four hogs over Your lost faux of conciousness on All of the waffles The Oscar's was the award Cause God Sure Loves Conan Fuck you hospital hoe. I know I failed SNL Before I even got started Hidden Silent Cosmic Circles But still Sometimes I can't help But love them all[Liz] JOHNNY DEPP … is this the Boom Boom Room? No, Johnny. It is not. I asked for The Boom Boom Room! I saw Beyonce on the ride home But I don't wonder why were wonderful I just roll on. Something like troll under a bridge cause That's where it is when you wriggle it into your middle finger just to dismantle the antics the candle the hammer the mattress the fell on the family the Fallon the manhole the Gasp! See I told you it's a trap. So why not impale your life on the rim of the holy grail, Holy hell I skipped supper seven days just to acquire A cigarette lighter I see Tina Fey in everything When it makes sense And sense when did I get this obsessive about Nonsense I was just Never that fucking interested in? Sitting in the kitchen without pants on Hair half braided hating my apartment Like I forgot I was lucky to have one But what fun is it in a dungeon When in any direction you escape You take the L! I failed at l finger economics One Two Three Four I Declare A Thumb War! And the world keeps going Like over and ovver, But those two dumb dumbs Are still thumb warrig, and so the story goes On and on Like I never fell off the roof, Like I never turned my tv off Like I never wanted Timmy Turner Like i'm not about to run a life up my arm Like I'm lying about the psychotic Like I can't be anywhere but here? My circle is bigger And my friends, are fans And my fans, You're a fan of Hire a lawyer To fight a white girl Who slams doors In the Trump World No thanks. I'd rather be buried alive Then at least it's quiet. Just be glad you're alive! Why?! If I'm not thriving And trust me as I sit writing The uglies are warring me out of the world I belong in. This one is suffering and dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores But you'll never know the answer Without words And son, I just don't want to have them No, I never want to talk about it Unless you're the Oprah And why would Oprah even want To open the apostle up, When I just told the decoy Every other problem I've ever had. Wonder what? My words are words, And long after the world turns over I'll be remembered as someone everyone loves For writing about how no one ever really loved her. So I cry until my stomach hurts, And I catch the door before it slams, And I never kick the cat, so the cat comes back But Fans And fans And fans. I never kick the cat, So the cat comes back And fans And fans And fans I never kick the cat So the cat comes back And I can't hit her So she acts like that So she acts like that So she acts like that And fans And fans And fans {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

In this unforgettable episode of Musicians Reveal with Joe Kelley, funk visionary RonKat Spearman—multi-instrumentalist, vocalist, and driving force behind Katdelic—shares his wild, soulful journey through the world of funk and beyond. From his early days to becoming a core member of George Clinton & Parliament-Funkadelic, RonKat reveals how one fateful encounter with the P-Funk mastermind changed the course of his life.With vivid storytelling and powerful memories, Spearman reflects on deep connections with funk legends like Garry Shider, Bernie Worrell, and Rick James, and dives into rare behind-the-scenes moments with icons like Prince, Jesse Johnson, Eddie Murphy, and Ike Turner.Now leading his own high-energy band Katdelic, he talks about the group's creative mission, the spirit of innovation, and what it means to carry the funk torch in today's music world.A must-listen for fans of funk, R&B, and Prince-associated artists, this episode captures the essence of a man who lives and breathes music—with groove, grit, and pure soul.

Join Camille Kauer on The E-Spot with Camille for a hilarious and revealing chat with comedy legends Guy Torry and Lewis Dix Jr., live from Raleigh Improv. They share behind-the-scenes stories, insights on the comedy grind, and reflect on icons like Eddie Murphy and the legacy of Phat Tuesdays. From the difference between comics and comedians to the impact of social media, this episode is packed with laughs, inspiration, and real talk.

**Music Mick's Mick's Vibez Show Replay On Trax FM & Rendell Radio. This Week Mick & The Mixvibez Show Gave Us 70's & 80's Grooves/Dance Classics From Bobby McFerrin, S Express, Raww, Rainbow Brown, QT Hush, Phyrework, Phreek, Charo & The Salsoul Orchestra, Change, Cerrone, Eddie Murphy, Freddie James, Lakeside, LAX, Kool & The Gang, Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes, Gwen Guthrie, France Joli, Acantha Lang, A Taste Of Honey & More. #originalpirates #soulmusic #boogiefunk #disco #danceclassics #boogie Catch The Music Mick's Mixvibez Show Every Saturday From 4PM UK Time On Trax FM & Rendell Radio Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE :mixcloud.com/live/traxfm Free Trax FM Android App: play.google.com/store/apps/det...mradio.ba.a6bcb The Trax FM Facebook Page : https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092342916738 Trax FM Live On Hear This: hearthis.at/k8bdngt4/live Tunerr: tunerr.co/radio/Trax-FM Radio Garden: Trax FM Link: http://radio.garden/listen/trax-fm/IEnsCj55 OnLine Radio Box: onlineradiobox.com/uk/trax/?cs...cs=uk.traxRadio Radio Deck: radiodeck.com/radio/5a09e2de87...7e3370db06d44dc Radio.Net: traxfmlondon.radio.net Stream Radio : streema.com/radios/Trax_FM..The_Originals Live Online Radio: liveonlineradio.net/english/tr...ax-fm-103-3.htm**

In hour two, examining Solana's love affair with getting sick while on vacation leads to Hoch's history lesson about thermometers. Do people who call sandwiches 'Sando's' pass the vibe check? Plus, our Mt Rushmore's of Eddie Murphy movies.

In this jam-packed episode, Matty A and Ryan Breedwell break down the Fed's latest interest rate predictions and what Wall Street's betting on for the back half of 2025. They cover the booming stock market, Trump's bold tariff plays and their real economic impact, and why Bitcoin may be taking a back seat to Ethereum in the crypto space. Plus, they tackle the big, beautiful bill moving through Congress, how crypto is now being counted toward real estate lending, and the looming ripple effects for investors and small business owners alike.If you want to understand the direction of markets, inflation, and crypto regulation—and what it all means for your portfolio—this is a must-listen.Timestamps: 00:00 – Fed outlook: rate pause in July, first cut likely in September 02:00 – Why aggressive rate cuts might backfire 04:00 – Powell's balancing act & political pressure 06:00 – Trump's massive global interest rate comparison 08:00 – Breakdown of tariff revenue & impacts on inflation11:00 – Domestic production shift = long-term economic win 13:00 – Real estate + stock market synergy = true wealth15:00 – "Big Beautiful Bill" clears Senate – what it means 17:00 – Tax cuts on tips, small biz wins, W2 vs corp benefits 19:00 – Why omnibus bills suck & how politicians weaponize them 22:00 – Elon vs Trump, Massey vs establishment – a brewing primary battle 24:00 – Cutting spending vs driving more economic growth 25:00 – Pat Bet-David's take on capitalism and state policy 27:00 – California business exodus: policy fallout 28:00 – S&P and Nasdaq hit all-time highs—why the market's surging 30:00 – Domestic equities: overlooked and underweighted31:00 – Oracle & Palantir: why they're leading the charge33:00 – Bitcoin vs Ethereum: Ryan's strong stance 36:00 – Tom Lee's Ethereum fund strategy vs MicroStrategy's Bitcoin bet 39:00 – Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac greenlight crypto as mortgage asset 42:00 – Crypto's bridge to real estate just got real 43:00 – Housing updates: mortgage rates dip, multifamily struggles 44:30 – Why the second half of 2025 looks bullish 45:00 – Napa Wealth Mastermind Announcement – Sept 23–26 47:00 – Eddie Murphy wisdom: stop fearing, start livingWhat You'll Learn:When the Fed is most likely to start cutting rates—and why it mattersHow Trump's tariffs are actually impacting inflation, GDP, and tradeWhy tariffs may spark a resurgence in U.S. manufacturing jobsThe truth behind omnibus bills and political manipulationWhy Ethereum may be the smart long-term crypto bet over BitcoinHow crypto is now playing a real role in real estate lending decisionsNotable Quotes:“Tariffs have worked out very well—and the critics are now backpedaling hard.” – Matty A“If Tom Lee is choosing Ethereum over Bitcoin, that tells you everything you need to know.” – Ryan Breedwell“It's time people stop fearing, and start living. You get 75 summers—don't waste them.” – Eddie Murphy (via Holy Man)“This bill fuels capitalism, not kills it—and that's why the market loves it.” – Matty ACalls to Action:Text “XRAY” to 844.447.1555 to get your portfolio reviewed Text “DEALS” to 844.447.1555 to get access to top investment opportunities Follow @officialmattya on Instagram for daily wealth-building content Visit: Shop.MillionaireMindcast.com – Wealth-building resources & gearWant In On Our Private Napa Mastermind? Text “NAPA” to 844.447.1555 to apply for the 2025 Wealth Builder Experience Only 15 seats available — 6 already claimed! Episode Sponsored By:Discover Financial Millionaire Mindcast Shop: Buy the Rich Life Planner and Get the Wealth-Building Bundle for FREE! Visit: https://shop.millionairemindcast.com/CRE MASTERMIND: Visit myfirst50k.com and submit your application to join!FREE CRE Crash Course: Text “FREE” to 844-447-1555

#JamieFoxx told #EddieMurphy “you ain't funny, bro” & #DenzelWashington warned #MichaelBJordan to ditch social media! #CynthiaNixon spills what she “hated” about Sex and the City—some stuff didn't age well. #MeghanMarkle's #1 baby name rule: “Keep it close to your heart until birth”

You can now text us anonymously to leave feedback, suggest future content or simply hurl abuse at us. We'll read out any texts we receive on the show. Click here to try it out!Groovy, baby! Welcome back to Bad Dads Film Review, where this week we're throwing on our crushed velvet, dialling up the mojo, and time-traveling back to the swinging '60s with Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997). Directed by Jay Roach and written by (and starring) Mike Myers, this outrageous spy spoof remains one of the most quotable and culturally impactful comedies of the ‘90s.

Nick revisits Joan Rivers' one and only stint as host of Saturday Night Live, a wild ride that aired in April 1983. At the time, Rivers was a comedy powerhouse—known for her sharp tongue, fearless punchlines, and an endless supply of Liz Taylor jokes. While the sketches written for her weren't exactly Emmy material, she powered through with her trademark grit and timing, turning even the clunkiest bits into something watchable. Highlights include a surreal moment where Joe Piscopo plays Joan in drag, and Eddie Murphy shows up as himself—but aged several decades. Rivers' monologue, packed with self-deprecating zingers, was easily the strongest part of the night and got big laughs. The episode also featured a solid cast lineup, including a young Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Brad Hall, Gary Kroeger, and Mary Gross doing their best with a strange assortment of sketches. Nick also shares clips and insights from a rare interview with Joan Rivers herself, where she opens up about her hosting experience—and why she was never invited back. Turns out, being a comedy legend doesn't guarantee a return ticket to Studio 8H. [EP 129]

The heat is back on as the Born to Watch crew heads back to Beverly Hills for some high-octane hijinks, fast-talking cons, and serious shoulder-padded style. In this week's episode, Whitey, G-Man, and Dan on the Land revisit the 1987 sequel that turned up the dial on Eddie Murphy's star power with their Beverly Hills Cop II Review, directed by the ever-slick Tony Scott.From the moment Axel Foley slides behind the wheel of a Ferrari to the final shootout at the oil fields, the team breaks down why this neon-soaked action-comedy remains an ‘80s icon. They revel in Murphy's unmatched charisma, dissect the film's bold visual flair, and relive the glory of Harold Faltermeyer's synth-driven score and Bob Seger's anthemic “Shakedown.”Whitey goes deep on Tony Scott's signature aesthetic, the burnished orange hues, the stylized action, the hyper-stylized masculinity, while G-Man keeps it grounded with sharp takes on the film's functional but fun villainy and the lovable duo of Rosewood and Taggart. Meanwhile, Dan (pizza in hand) dishes on Eddie's behind-the-scenes power moves and the rise of “Eddie Murphy Productions,” proving this was the moment Axel Foley became Eddie Murphy's true alter ego.The boys aren't afraid to poke fun, either. From the inexplicable countdown robberies and oddly muscular strippers to baffling wardrobe coincidences (how did that blazer fit Taggart so well?), this episode's got more questions than an alphabet heist. And don't get them started on the extra at the Playboy Mansion doing an interpretive dance; he's earned a permanent spot in the Bad Running Ripley Hall of Fame.They also tip their hats to the era: the coke-fueled Simpson/Bruckheimer production madness, the bafflingly low Rotten Tomatoes scores despite the film being the second biggest box office hit of 1987, and the sheer power of a good montage scored by Seger. It's a masterclass in style-over-substance, but sometimes style is the substance.And of course, it wouldn't be a Born to Watch episode without diversions into North Shore memories, Magnum P.I. comparisons, and the origin story of Dan's legendary mustard shirt. If you know, you know.So, whether you're an ‘80s kid raised on VHS or just discovering that Beverly Hills had a crime problem solvable only by Detroit's finest, this episode is a full-throttle celebration of a sequel that doesn't just play the hits, it cranks them.Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts!Join the conversation:Is Beverly Hills Cop II better than the original? Does Tony Scott's style elevate the film or overshadow it? Which song hits harder: “Shakedown” or “The Heat Is On”?Leave us a voicemail at BornToWatch.com.au and be part of the show!#BornToWatch #BeverlyHillsCopII #EddieMurphy #TonyScott #80sMovies #ActionComedy #MoviePodcast #BobSeger #Shakedown #CultClassics #BeverlyHillsCop2

Zo goes on a visit to Wellman College to take notes on the lecture being given by the brilliant professor Sherman Klump. The word on the street is that Mr. Klump was on the verge of a breakthrough that would revolutionize weight loss. Zo had also heard that the weight loss would be dramatic and would require one orally administered medication. The miracle drug was still in the animal testing phase and human trials may be years off, but if this were true than such a thing would revolutionize how humanity delt with a whole host of related diseases such as diabetes and hypertension. If Professor Klump's discoveries are a bust then he'll just be The Nutty Professor. Episode Segments00:05:46 Opening Credits for The Nutty Professor starring: Eddie Murphy and Jada Pinkett Smith00:15:02 Favorite Parts of the 1996 film: The Nutty Professor00:41:52 Trivia from the Slap Stick Comedy: The Nutty Professor00:48:03 Critics' Thoughts on Tom Shadyac's The Nutty Professor Please leave a comment, suggestion or question on our social media: Back Look Cinema: The Podcast Links:Website: www.backlookcinema.comEmail: fanmail@backlookcinema.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@backlookcinemaTwitter: https://twitter.com/backlookcinemaFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/BackLookCinemaInstagram: https://instagram.com/backlookcinemaThreads: https://www.threads.net/@backlookcinemaTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@backlookcinemaTwitch https://www.twitch.tv/backlookcinemaBlue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/backlookcinema.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mstdn.party/@backlookcinemaBack Look Cinema Merch at Teespring.comBack Look Cinema Merch at Teepublic.com Again, thanks for listening.

Barry Nichols joined me to discuss his love of the Smothers Brothers; how his brother Nils got an internship at SNL in 1978; being the drummer from Jeannie Cunningham; getting hired to work on Nothing Lasts Forever; being hired by Dick Ebersol; Nick Nolte backs out; an average an average week for him' being in charge of cast tickets; a four hour dress rehearsal; Eddie Murphy, Drew Barrymore; having to bring around Duran Duran; singing backup to Randy Newman; having Stevie Wonder play his bongos; hanging with Huey Lewis, John Candy, Santana; being Lily Tomlin's punk drummer in a cut sketch; being a member of The Garage Band; recording music for sketches; getting residual checks for episodes he was in; joining SAG; Spinal Tap; Harry Shearer; Carol Kane; Pamela Stephenson; the Don Rickles episode; Loverboy only getting one number; Tina Turner; being in David Letterman's NBC Talent show episode; being in on the ground floor of Friday Night Videos; picking the videos including Oingo Boingo; having to be live, in studio, for the video of the week, ZZ Top; Saturday Nights Main Event; holding cue cards on a water slide; Captain Lou Albano; Andre the Giant being twice the size of his bodyguard; his friendship with Gene Oakerland; moving to LA and doing grip and audio work; coming to North Carolina and and doing 15 ESPN Jimmy V Golf Classics; getting hired to edit for thirty-five years and recently retiring; opening the Milton 66 Bear Garden; and his name diversity.

We're celebrating #Juneteenth and honoring its power! Meanwhile, #SidneyPoitier warned #EddieMurphy off a Malcolm X part—stay what you are! #DavidSchwimmer admits he hated hearing friends theme song for years! #DDG confesses his red Ferrari was just a rental?!

What happens when screen legends Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche play obscenely wealthy commodities brokers who wager on an insidious, impromptu nature-vs.-nurture experiment that subjects an unwitting Eddie Murphy and Dan Ackroyd to radical reversals of fortune? You get an '80s screwball comedy update of The Prince and the Pauper that also showcases the great Jamie Lee Curtis and Denholm Elliott, along with a host of amusing cameos by the likes of Al Franken, Bo Diddley, and Giancarlo Esposito, all set to an Elmer Bernstein score built on the shoulders of Mozart. And it's a Christmas movie! (Kind of.) Join Javi, Paul and - inscrutably - Producer Brad as they learn more than they ever wanted to about pork belly and concentrated frozen orange juice futures trading, navigate the film's alarmingly casual racism and homophobia (not to mention a painful bit involving a gorilla), and behold the biggest smoked salmon ever to grace the silver screen. For a better understanding of commodities, short selling, and The Eddie Murphy Rule, check out this great episode of Planet Money.Follow us!InstagramBlueskyemail: Multiplexoverthruster@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We take a jovial look at an embarrassing work situation that holey matters to me, our odd use of the f-bomb, and then close it out with some clean comedy, literally. And no, despite the title, I do not go all "Eddie Murphy" on you in this routine. It is about as unadult as adult comedy can be. Also, my apologies as certain parts of this only make sense from a video perspective. To see David Hicks on YouTube, click here.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY RELEASED JULY 13TH, 2022 On this episode of R&B Money, Tank and J Valentine are joined by comedian Affion Crockett. Affion will share his adventures growing up partially in Germany, his love of martial arts and how he really feels about Teddy Riley. He will discuss developing his uncanny skill for mimicking and impressions from television. This conversation spans from why Eddie Murphy remains the Goat all the way to why some of the R&B OG's hated hiphop, his thoughts on Insta-Comedy and much more. Listen and Enjoy! Follow the hosts Tank: @therealtank and J Valentine: @JValentineSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ICYMI: Hour One of ‘Later, with Mo'Kelly' Presents – A positive update on securing an interview with Eddie Murphey…PLUS – Good news for Waymo & bad news for Tesla ‘self-driving' mode AND thoughts on the Los Angeles Times ‘Letters to the Editor' from Dodgers fans expressing their disappointment over the organizations silence on the ICE raids in the Los Angeles area - on KFI AM 640…Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app & YouTube @MrMoKelly

Send Kevin a Text MessageIn this episode of Don't Kill the Messenger, host Kevin Goetz sits down with legendary producer Jerry Bruckheimer, the mastermind behind billion-dollar blockbusters, including Top Gun, Pirates of the Caribbean, Bad Boys, Beverly Hills Cop, and the television shows CSI, The Amazing Race, and Fire Country. Bruckheimer shares insights into his detailed approach to filmmaking, the power of test screenings, and what it takes to consistently deliver crowd-pleasing entertainment.The Power of Audience Testing (01:22)Bruckheimer emphasizes the crucial role audience research has played in his success, citing examples like Armageddon and Bad Boys: Ride or Die, which both saw significant improvements in test screening scores.The Origins of Top Gun and Casting Tom Cruise (08:49)Bruckheimer reveals how Top Gun almost didn't get made due to studio concerns about airplane movies, and his brilliant strategy of arranging for Tom Cruise to fly with the Blue Angels, which sealed Cruise's commitment to the project.Learning from The Lone Ranger (18:05)Goetz and Bruckheimer analyze why The Lone Ranger didn't connect with audiences, emphasizing how budget discussions overshadowed the creative vision and the importance of early concept testing.F1: The Upcoming Blockbuster (24:20)Bruckheimer details the three-year process of making F1, from convincing Formula 1 teams to participate to achieving record-breaking test screening scores.Working with Hollywood Legends (29:22)Bruckheimer shares personal stories about collaborating with icons like Gene Hackman, Will Smith, Eddie Murphy, and Johnny Depp.Television Empire and The Amazing Race (40:01)With 10 Emmy wins for The Amazing Race and over 2000 episodes across franchises like CSI and Fire Country, Bruckheimer discusses his approach to television and how he maintains the quality across multiple projects.Over the course of the interview, Bruckheimer shares how his pursuit of perfection, genuine respect for audiences, and ability to adapt while maintaining his core philosophy, "I don't make movies for anybody but the audience," contributed to his mega success. His insights reveal the strategic thinking and collaborative spirit behind some of Hollywood's biggest franchises.Host: Kevin GoetzGuest: Jerry BruckheimerProducer: Kari CampanoWriters: Kevin Goetz, Darlene Hayman, Nick Nunez, and Kari CampanoAudio Engineer: Gary Forbes (DG Entertainment) For more information about Jerry Bruckheimer:Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_BruckheimerIMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000988/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jerrybruckheimer/?hl=en For more information about Kevin Goetz:Website: www.KevinGoetz360.comAudienceology Book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Audience-ology/Kevin-Goetz/9781982186678How to Score in Hollywood: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Score-in-Hollywood/Kevin-Goetz/9781982189860Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, Substack: @KevinGoetz360Linked In @Kevin Goetz

Bleav Host Robert Land asks Oilers CB Steve Brown about playing with Earl Campbell, Warren Moon, Archie Manning, Bruce Matthews, getting Karate kicked by Billy Sims, playing for Jerry Glanville & Nick Saban, guesting in Miami Vice, joking with Eddie Murphy & winning a Super Bowl for the Rams. (1:13) Developing Chemistry with CB Patrick Allen (2:43) Memories of being drafted with future HOF Bruce Matthews (4:25) Coaching against the Titans, Bruce Matthews & Mike Munchak in the Super Bowl (6:55) Game plan vs. Titans (8:46) Trying to tackle Earl Campbell (10:23) Bum Phillips (11:23) Rookie Season with Archie Manning (12:55) Facing Warren Moon in practice (13:44) Who was better: Montana, Elway & Marino? (15:10) Facing Jerry Rice, Andre Reed & Michael Irvin (17:26) Getting Karate Kicked by Billy Sims during game (18:33) Playing for Jerry Glanville & Ken Houston (20:17) Playing for Oilers asst Nick Saban (22:05) Did Glanville undermine Oilers success? (23:42) Toughest Oilers Playoffs Loss? Was Stagger Lee bad? (25:09 Fav Oilers Memories? (26:32) Which Oilers teammates does he stay in touch with? (27:17) Feeling about Oilers & Titans? (29:06) Brown's sister Olivia was in Miami Vice & 48 Hours? (31:20) Meeting Eddie Murphy & Branford Marsalis (32:35) What's Brown doing now? Subscribe on Youtube, Spotify, Apple & iHeart X @HSTPodcast #houstonoilers #eddiemurphy #joemontana

Send us a textOn this Episode, Tom and Bert discuss TV Actors that made the jump from TV to the Movies Part 2!The small screen (TV) produced numerous actors that made the proverbial leap from TV to the Movies over the years.Our list includes many iconic performers so sit back and listen in as the Guys take you down memory lane one more time!CHAPTER HIGHLIGHTS: (1:00) Robin Williams- from "Mork" to the voice of "Aladdin"(4:55) Bruce Willis- from "Moonlighting" to Yipee Kai Yay Mothefucker in "Die Hard"(9:43) Goldie Hawn- from "Laugh In" to Private Benjamin(13:35) Leonardo Di Caprio- from "Growing Pains" to Jack in "Titanic"(16:57) Ryan Gosling- from "The Mickey Mouse Club" to "La La Land"(18:11) Seth Rogan- from "Freaks and Geeks" to "Pineapple Express"(22:55) Morgan Freeman- from the "Electric Company" to Red in "Shawshank"(24:27) Jason Bateman- from "Silver Spoons" to "Ozark"(29:50) Halle Berry- from "Living Dolls" to "Catwoman"(31:00) Hillary Swank- from "Camp WIlder" to "Million Dollar Baby"(36:20) Kurt Russell - from "Walt Disney" to Wyatt Earp in "Tombstone"(43:28) Bill Murray- from SNL to "Groundhog's Day"(45:35) Eddie Murphy- from SNL to Axel Foley in "Beverley Hills Cop"(49:26) Eugene Levy- from 2nd City TV to "American Pie"(51:33) Rick Moranis- from 2nd City TV to "Honey I shrunk the Kid's"(54:05) John Candy- from 2nd City TV to "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"(55:34) Harold Ramis- from 2nd City TV to "Stripes"(57:20) Jim Carrey- from "In Living Color" to "Dumb and DumberEnjoy the Show!You can email us at reeldealzmoviesandmusic@gmail.com or visit our Facebook page, Reel Dealz Podcast: Movies & Music Thru The Decades to leave comments and/or TEXT us at 843-855-1704 as well.

EXCLUSIVE: Eddie Murphy Locked In Howard Hughes-Style 'Kingdom' - As He's a 'Germaphobe' Too Scared to Leave Gilded MansionAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I've always been fascinated by the use of Remote Cameras, but it's not something I've had the chance to try, unfortunately. The last time I cover it on the show was on the episode Using Remote Cameras with Canon Explorer of Light David Bergman, and then I also had the legendary Peter Read Miller Miller talking about how he used them in Sports Photography. I, however, had never thought about using them for Wedding Photo Photography, that is until I was talking to Canon Explorer of Light Bob Davis at Imaging USA this year. His presentation on the Canon stage was on just that topic, and after watching how he was using remote cameras, in his case for both wedding and wildlife photo, I knew this would be a conversation a lot of people might find fascinating. Bob & Dawn Davis are an international wedding photography and design husband and wife team based in the Chicagoland area. When I first met them back in 2020 for an interview at WPPI, it was immediately clear that this couple was an amazing team. I've since seen them both together, or as part of a panel, or individually, on the Canon stage at a conference multiple times, and the passion they bring to what they teach is amazing. What a lot of people don't know is Bob's history behind the camera. Bob began his career in the newspaper industry as a photojournalist, and over drinks one day, while we were looking through his old Chicago Bulls photos on his phone, I was blown away how this guy can shoot anything so damn well. The last time he was on the show was for an episode about Bob and Dawn's wildlife photography: Photograph in the Wild. Bob & Dawn Davis Photography & Design has a client list reads like a “Who's Who” of entertainment's elite. They have had the honor of photographing “A” list weddings such as Eva Longoria & Tony Parker's wedding in Paris, Salma Hayek & François-Henri Pinault's wedding in Italy, La La Vazquez & Carmelo Anthony's TV wedding in New York, Tracey Edmonds & Eddie Murphy's wedding in Bora Bora, ABC's TV show The Bachelorette Ashley's wedding to J.P. in California, along with many other fabulous events with Oprah Winfrey. Bob was also commissioned to work on the book America 24/7 that was featured on the Oprah Winfrey show and was a New York Times Best Seller. Their work has been featured in publications such as People, OK, O Magazine, InStyle, Inside Weddings, Town & Country, Munaluchi, Grace Ormonde, Modern Luxury Brides, The Knot, Ritz-Carlton magazine, Professional Photographer, Rangefinder, Popular Photography and more. Bob is in that small and highly elite group of photographers known as Canon Explorers of Light, along with being a member of the Westcott Top Pro Elite, SanDisk Extreme Team, and a ProMedia Gear Influencer. Together Bob and Dawn are the authors of two books, Lights Camera Capture, and We're Engaged! Earlier I used the word "passion" when talking about their willingness to teach and share their craft, but that word can be used to describe many areas of Bob and Dawn's world. They are passionate about their faith, their marriage, their family, and making the best of their lives. This a power couple. Bob and Dawn also lead wildlife photo workshops to places around the world, like Africa, or Alaska for their Alaska Brown Bear Adventure Workshop, which at the time of this writing still has 3 spots left for their next trip in Sept of 2025. Join Canon Explorer of Light Bob Davis and me as we do a deep dive into how Bob and Dawn use remote cameras on their wedding shoots, and we'll touch a little on how they use them for wildlife shoots too, on this episode of Behind the Shot. Connect with Bob & Dawn Wedding Website: bobanddawndavis.com Wildlife Website: inthewild.bobanddawndavis.com Blog: bobanddawndavis.info Facebook: @bobanddawndavis Instagram: @bobanddawndavis Instagram: @bobanddawn_inthewild YouTube: @bobanddawndavis Workshops Alaska Brown Bear Adventure: inthewild.bobanddawndavis.com

Kenya Barris talks about his messy childhood, the do's and don'ts of the writer's room, laying low during covid, Larry David making Kenya take the leap to star in a show, raising kids better than our parents, running a writer's room is like conducting music, making podcasts with Malcolm Gladwell, being pals with Jonah Hill, Eddie Murphy putting points on the board, the pleasure and importance of dressing well, and having people around you who can tell you, you suck. Bio: Kenya Barris is an award-winning writer, producer, director and actor, whose innovative approach to comedy has firmly cemented his place as one of Hollywood's great modern storytellers. Best known as the creator behind groundbreaking series like ABC sitcom black-ish and the Netflix original series #blackAF, Barris has built a career telling powerful stories that reflect our culture and fearlessly tackle an array of topics. Most recently, Barris executive produced Diarra From Detroit, a dark comedy about a divorcing schoolteacher who refuses to believe she's been ghosted by her rebound Tinder date; The Vince Staples Show, a scripted series loosely inspired by the life of multi-hyphenate musician Vince Staples; the final season of grown-ish; and produced The Underdoggs, an Amazon original sports comedy starring Snoop Dogg as a youth football team coach. In 2023, Barris and his production company, Khalabo Ink Society, received Emmy nominations for two of their projects: Entergalactic, a first-of-its-kind adult animated music project that featured new music from the Grammy Award-winning musician Kid Cudi and CIVIL, a documentary that offered an intimate portrait of groundbreaking civil rights attorney, Ben Crump. Barris also made his feature directorial debut with Netflix's hit comedy, You People, which he also produced and co-wrote. Barris and Khalabo have multiple high-profile projects in various stages of development. On the television side, projects include: sophomore seasons of Diarra From Detroit and The Vince Staples Show; The Book of Jose, a television series chronicling the life of rapper Fat Joe; Group Chat, a collaboration with Kim Kardashian, based on LaLa Anthony's best-selling book The Love Playbook; a limited series that will offer an intimate look into the life and legacy of the legendary comedian Richard Pryor. On the film side, Barris is developing projects such as: Get Lite starring Storm Reid and marking Teyana Taylor's feature directorial debut; a remake of It's A Wonderful Life; a documentary on the life and career of rapper Chief Keef; Yumanzu, a high concept family adventure movie; Girls Trip 2; and The Man Who Lives Underground. Additionally, Barris and Khalabo have a first-look deal with Audible and in 2023, launched their first podcast, DJ Drama Presents: Gangsta Grillz. Hosted and produced with legendary hip-hop producer, DJ Drama, the popular podcast featured conversations with notable artists such as Tyler, the Creator, Pharrell, Wiz Khalifa, Lil Wayne and more. In 2025, they also launched The Unusual Suspects hosted by Barris and bestselling author Malcolm Gladwell. Barris and Gladwell engage in raw, unfiltered conversations with some of today's most influential figures and titans across a spectrum of professions, including Ava DuVernay, Dr. Dre, Jimmy Kimmel, Sue Bird, and more. 

In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Broadcast Booth, Hall of Fame sportscaster Steve Albert chronicles the ups, downs, and unforeseen mishaps that occurred throughout his lifelong journey on the air.From getting nailed in the head by an errant LeBron James pass, to ducking bottles thrown in boxing arena riots, to frightful flights and car trips, Steve discovered that doing play-by-play was a surprisingly hazardous profession. Thankfully, calling games and fights was also pretty entertaining.In a seriously funny collection of humorous and autobiographical essays, Steve recalls encounters with Mickey Mantle pinching, Eddie Murphy boxing, and Meat Loaf serenading. Steve also describes his many unusual experiences, including the morning he smashed through a stuck bathroom door to get to a show on time, saw his broadcast partner Ralph Kiner set his own chair on fire, bolted from a hornet's nest in his booth, and announced the infamous Mike Tyson “Bite Fight.”About Steve AlbertSteve Albert is a sportscaster best known for his decades behind the mic for Showtime Championship Boxing, doing blow-by-blow for some of the biggest fights in boxing history. His boxing calls, including 300-plus world title fights, earned him induction into three boxing halls of fame. During a memorable 45-year career, he also spent almost a quarter of a century doing television play-by-play in the NBA, winning an Emmy Award along the way. Steve called the last game in ABA history when the legendary Julius “Dr J.” Erving led the NY Nets to the championship. All told, Steve announced for thirteen teams in eleven leagues. He also appeared in movies, TV sitcoms/dramas, sports competition game shows, and countless commercials. Steve Albert comes from a family of sportscasters.For more info on the book click HERE

On this episode, four kids — Miel, Kelly, Leo, and Sammy — join LKBH host Todd Loyd to discuss nervousness: What causes nervous? What can we do with nervous feelings? The kids and Todd then float on fluffy clouds and to the Land of Qook-a-lackas … arriving JUST in time to help a Qook-a-lacka friend, Quillabee, get ready for the Big Feelings Fest! At first, Quillabee is feeling super nervous about sharing a story in front of a crowd — but the kids help Quillabee practice strategies to get past the nerves before the Fest. ☁️ They shake the nerves out of their arms, legs, elbows, etc.☁️ They play "What If...But Then!" to imagine alternative (positive) ends of nervous moments.☁️ They practice taking deep, calming breaths. Together, they learn that EVERYONE feels nervous sometimes — and they learn some strategies to deal with nerves!❤️❤️❤️Quillabee is played by JUDGE REINHOLD, the movie and TV actor. JUDGE REINHOLD has been in over seventy-five motion picture and television roles and enjoys a 35-year relationship with an international audience of all ages.  His films include STRIPES, FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, RUTHLESS PEOPLE, and Christmas franchise, THE SANTA CLAUSE 1,2,3. BEVERLY HILLS COP 1, 2, 3 play continually internationally, making Judge a familiar presence worldwide.  FAST TIMES and BEVERLY HILLS COP were recently voted by the American Film Institute as two of the “Top 100 American Comedies.”   Judge received an Emmy nomination for his performance as “The Close Talker” on Seinfeld, and his guest-star appearances in Seinfeld and Arrested Development received two of the highest ratings on both series. Judge has been an active member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences since 1987.Judge most recently co-starred with Eddie Murphy in the fourth installment of the Beverly Hills Cop franchise, which was Netflix's most successful summer movie of 2024, released globally in 250 million homes.❤️❤️❤️Sound design and mixing is by Ryan Marth, and the ukulele music you hear is by actor and composer Bill English. Please learn more about the episode online at https://playsparkler.org/feeling-nervous/Also...Little Kids, Big Hearts now has a YouTube channel. Please join our growing community on YouTube! Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/@LittleKidsBigHearts

There's nothing like summer in the city, except perhaps summer in the city plus a smooth operator who also happens to be an immortal bloodsucker trying to steal your girl (who is also your coworker and that's just an HR violation waiting to happen…). Things are heating up this week as we talk Wes Craven's much-maligned Eddie Murphy vehicle VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN (1995). It's actually a pretty solid flick and doesn't deserve the flak it got, let's see if we can change some hearts and minds! Join the Patreon Buy from our Store Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit meetthemess.substack.comMove over, Meet the Press—it's time to MEET THE MESS!This week on the podcast (Part 2 of 2): Jen and Karyn share more hilarious celebrity encounter stories, all while still sipping jalapeño wine and watching Karyn devour an alarming number of Oreos.Plus, Jen reveals why she has a pocket full of hot dogs (Karyn's favorite moment of the entire episode). They also debut a new segment called "What's the Prompt?" where they ask AI bizarre questions and discuss how AI can reinforce harmful ideas!Also discussed: Trump spreads a wild conspiracy claiming Biden has been replaced by a clone! RFK, Jr. cites fake sources in a recent report! Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence's kids got married! More than half of the top 100 mental health TikTok videos contain misinformation! And, cancer experts sound the alarm on people rejecting traditional treatments in favor of coffee enemas and juice diets.On Meet the Mess, bestselling authors Jen Lancaster & Karyn Bosnak dive into the messiest news stories and hottest topics of the week to give a fresh and entertaining take on current events and life in general. An extended video version with the “Hot Mess of the Week” is available to paid Substack subscribers. Visit meetthemess.substack.com for more.Meet the Merch:• https://www.etsy.com/shop/MeetTheMessConnect with us on Instagram:• https://www.instagram.com/meetthemesspod• https://www.instagram.com/jennsylvania• https://www.instagram.com/karynbosnakConnect with us on TikTok:• https://www.tiktok.com/@meetthemess• https://www.tiktok.com/@karynbosnak

Please welcome to our show my friend, Jake Steinfeld, founder of Body By Jake, the phenom fitness lifestyle routine that's changed bodies from flabby to fit worldwide. But that's just part of his story. Jake is also a successful entrepreneur and he'll be talking about a new product that he's launching. He is also an established actor, and is one of my all-time favorite movies (think Eddie Murphy). In a town rumored to be transactional, he's anything but, having been married for decades to my beautiful friend, with whom he shares four children. Jake is a family guy, and often referred to as the “Honorary Mayor of Pacific Palisades,” and yes his home, and just about everything in it, burned to the ground in the January fires. But perhaps it's his resilience that I most admire, always looking ahead, creating new business opportunities, remaining positive, and focusing on rebuilding. And I thought, there's a lot we can learn from Jake Steinfeld about how to keep going even when the world seems to be going up in smoke, and he joins us to talk about his life, career, family, and incredibly positive attitude that he lives by. And there's more...we'll ask him about any possible political ambitions we're hearing about, too. Please join me in welcoming Jake Steinfeld on all video and audio podcast platforms of #DeborahKobyltLIVE, and invite your friends, too. I'm your host, #DeborahZaraKobylt, and it's my pleasure to welcome you here.

Johnny Mac covers the comedic feud between Seth Meyers and Jimmy Kimmel as they exchange humorous attack ads in the race for Emmy nominations. Season 2 of the comedy series 'Tires' is set to premiere on Netflix, featuring new cast members like Thomas Hayden Church and Vince Vaughn. Shane Gillis voices his thoughts on targeted commercials during the NBA playoffs, while Hannah Berner recounts an awkward performance in New Hampshire. Also, the long-lost Jerry Lewis film 'The Day the Clown Cried' could finally be released in 2025. Comedians Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura make an appearance on WWE Raw despite past controversies. John Mulaney's headline-grabbing 'fight' with 14-year-olds on his talk show leads to a mixed reaction.Other highlights include an Adam Sandler costume party, the unexpected marriage of Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence's children, and a look at the new sitcom 'Leanne' starring Leanne Morgan.   00:13 Seth Meyers vs. Jimmy Kimmel: Emmy Attack Ads04:00 Shane Gillis and the NBA Playoffs05:17 Hannah Burner's Knicks Joke Backfires05:49 The Day the Clown Cried: Jerry Lewis' Lost Film07:24 Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura on WWE Raw11:22 Adam Sandler Costume Party and Eddie Murphy's Family News12:22 New Sitcom 'Leanne' by Chuck Lorre Get the show without ads. Five bucks.  For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app which says UNINTERRUPTED LISTENING. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus.    Contact John at john@thesharkdeck dot com  John's free substack about the media:  Media Thoughts  is mcdpod.substack.com DCN on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@dailycomedynews https://linktr.ee/dailycomedynews You can also support the show at www.buymeacoffee.com/dailycomedynews Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/daily-comedy-news--4522158/support.

Update on our week:  The group starts off hot with the question of 100 men vs 1 gorilla.  Who would win?  Andy fills us in on trade wars latest news.  It appears that US has reached an agreement with China.  It appears fabrication is moving to US and India.  Andy also brings up breaking news with another Mexican Navy ship that hits the Brooklyn bridge.  Noel finishes another tv show with season 7 of Castle.  Does this season end well and is Noel watching season 8?  Noel also rewatches Final Destination movie.  Does it make Noel want to watch the new Final Destination Bloodlines movie in the theater?  Also, Noels latest Arrow video 4K movie is Jason goes to Hell.  Daniel also has been watching tv, he watches HBO's House of Saddam.  It is a great docudrama of Iraq war with Saddam and his family.  Daniel loves those documentaries.  He watches another one in Netflix 137 Shots.  It retells the killing of Timothy Russell and Malissa Williams were they are shot by Cleveland police 137 times.  Last item Daniel brings up is the movie Trading Places.  This classic Eddie Murphy movie that has a lot of young actors.   Article for the week: 'Picky eater' with food allergies is told she's 'childish' and 'needs to get over this' https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/picky-eater-food-allergies-told-shes-childish-needs-get-over-this   Warning: May have Strong Language and Content.   ========== Thank you to everyone who enjoys what we do.  If you like what we do, please spread the word of our show. Email questions or suggestions to ffnquestions@gmail.com ========== Follow us on TWITTER (X) https://twitter.com/FreeFormNetwork Follow us on FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61557790516078 ========== Free Form Network and all our podcast are available on many platforms including STITCHER, ANDROID, IPHONE, IPAD, IPOD TOUCH and PODBEAN   IPHONE, IPAD & IPOD TOUCH http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/free-form-network/id995998853 SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/0QKRhkXDmQ9cxItaiu49Vy IHEART RADIO https://www.iheart.com/podcast/338-free-form-network-94075820/ TUNE IN RADIO http://tunein.com/radio/Free-Form-Network-p784190/ PLAYER FM https://player.fm/series/3326348 TUMBLR https://freeformnetworkpodcast.tumblr.com/ WORDPRESS https://freeformnetwork.wordpress.com/ YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj0LNZRJHyW7sQwM5ZdOCQg DEEZER https://www.deezer.com/us/show/1857582 PODCHASER https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/free-form-network-97539 PODCAST ADDICT https://podplayer.net/?podId=2920676 PANDORA https://www.pandora.com/podcast/free-form-network/PC:53088 AMAZON MUSIC https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/41213756-a9ad-46bc-8d6c-ea2d30bd2fb9/free-form-network LISTEN NOTES https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/free-form-network-free-form-network-ElG1hW2tS3v/ GOOGLE PODCAST https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2ZyZWVmb3JtbmV0d29yay9mZWVkLnhtbA PODBEAN DESKTOP http://freeformnetwork.podbean.com/ PODBEAN MOBILE http://freeformnetwork.podbean.com/mobile   ========== Free Form Radio - Episode 246- 06/01/2025 Hosted by Daniel, Andy and Noel ==========   FREE FORM NETWORK

Host Johnny Mac provides updates on the comedy world, including Jimmy Carr's new podcast 'The Big Pitch,' where celebrities pitch niche film ideas to Carr in partnership with Netflix. He also discusses comedian Andrew Lawrence's show cancellation following a controversial social media post about a tragic event in Liverpool. The episode covers upcoming comedy releases like 'Anxiety Club,' 'The Pickup' featuring Eddie Murphy and Pete Davidson, and Aziz Ansari's 'Good Fortune' with Keanu Reeves. Additionally, Johnny shares insights from a Hollywood Reporter roundtable with comedians and promotes listener support options for the show. Lastly, The Atlantic's take on Colin Jost's role on 'Weekend Update' and Tiffany Haddish's unexpected involvement in Fanatics Fest are highlighted.00:00 Jimmy Carr's New Podcast01:36 Controversial Comedian Incident02:45 Anxiety Club Documentary03:39 Upcoming Movies and Shows06:46 Colin Jost's Weekend Update Journey08:12 Tiffany Haddish and Fanatics Fest09:11 Conclusion and Supporter AcknowledgementsGet the show without ads. Five bucks.  For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app which says UNINTERRUPTED LISTENING. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus.    Contact John at john@thesharkdeck dot com  John's free substack about the media:  Media Thoughts  is mcdpod.substack.com DCN on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@dailycomedynews https://linktr.ee/dailycomedynews You can also support the show at www.buymeacoffee.com/dailycomedynewsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/daily-comedy-news--4522158/support.

MUSICMegadeth's Dave Mustaine claims that his former band Metallica stole the riff from "Enter Sandman" from another thrash band. RIP: Michael Sumler, a longtime member of the iconic funk band Kool & the Gang has died after a tragic accident. He was 71. TVKylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet were spotted sharing a passionate kiss courtside at Madison Square Garden during Game 5 of the Knicks-Pacers Eastern Conference Finals on Thursday.MOVING ON INTO MOVIE NEWS:Sydney Sweeney is turning her bathwater into a beauty empire with a soap bar. Pete Davidson is known for his comedic chops, but he's entering the horror world with his new movie The Home. In this horror thriller from the creator of The Purge, Pete plays Max, a young man sentenced to community service and caring for the elderly in the retirement facility, only to come in contact with the off-limits fourth floor, where residents are in need of “special care.” Eddie Murphy's son Eric and Martin Lawrence's daughter Jasmin were secretly married recently. It's been 26 years since Freddie Prinze Jr. and Rachael Leigh Cook gave us "She's All That". And now, they're reuniting for a new holiday movie called "The Christmas Affair". AND FINALLYNielsen unveiled its new "multiplatform" ratings, which allow us, for the first time, to compare shows from both linear TV and streaming services over a 35-day period. Thanks to that, we now have a list of the 100 most-watched shows of the 2024 - '25 season. 1. "Squid Game" (Netflix), 27.1 million viewers2. "Adolescence" (Netflix), 19 million viewers (It centers on a 13-year-old schoolboy named Jamie Miller (Owen Cooper) who is arrested after the murder of a girl in his school.)3. "Tracker" (CBS), 17.4 million viewers (Justin Hartley plays Colter Shaw travels the country in his old-school RV to help police and private citizens solve crimes and locate missing persons until his latest case changes ...)4. "Reacher" (Prime Video), 17.3 million viewers (When retired Military Police Officer Jack Reacher played by Alan Ritchson is arrested for a murder he did not commit, he finds himself in the middle of a deadly conspiracy full of dirty cops, shady businessmen, and scheming politicians.)5. "High Potential" (ABC), 16.1 million viewers (Kaitlin Olsen plays Morgan, a single mom with three kids and an exceptional mind, helps solve an unsolvable crime when she rearranges some evidence during her shift as a cleaner for the police department.)6. "Matlock" (CBS), 16 million viewers (Kathy Bates)7. "Landman" (Paramount+), 15.8 million viewers (Billy Bob Thornton Deep in the heart of West Texas, roughnecks and wildcat billionaires try to get rich quick in the oil business as oil rigs begin to dominate the state. )8. (tie) "Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story" and "Zero Day" (Both Netflix), 15.7 million viewers10. "Nobody Wants This" (Netflix), 15.2 million viewers (Adam Brody/Kristen Bell, An agnostic sex podcaster and a newly single rabbi fall in love; discovering if their relationship survive their wildly different lives and meddling families.) AND THAT IS YOUR CRAP ON CELEBRITIES!Follow us @RizzShow @MoonValjeanHere @KingScottRules @LernVsRadio @IamRafeWilliams - Check out King Scott's Linktr.ee/kingscottrules + band @FreeThe2SG and Check out Moon's bands GREEK FIRE @GreekFire GOLDFINGER @GoldfingerMusic THE TEENAGE DIRTBAGS @TheTeenageDbags and Lern's band @LaneNarrows ⁠http://www.1057thepoint.com/RizzSummarySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On today's MJ Morning Show: Howard Frankland Bridge - Crash marks on wall Pepsi exec claims he invented Flaming Hot Cheetos Morons in the news Chloe's Vegas trip Skittles is dropping titanium dioxide Mary Lou Retton's Porsche Yoga classes... pro claims metal water bottles don't belong Which kitchen appliance brand should you avoid? Florida family had a failed installation of their refrigerator... flooded house Walmart employees pulled customer aside, checked her self-checked items... We took calls Call to Chloe in Vegas Crotchety - Flappy reference Vehicles with blinking eyes in windows Hikers call 911, thought third member of their group died Study - people using edibles or joints still suffer heart issues as tobacco users Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence are now in-laws Diddy trial update Recall: Dinty Moore beef stew... over 250,000 lbs recalled Wedding photo with incredible backdrop Tampa Bay area mayors get together to battle loneliness Grossness on airplanes United pilot says 'we have failed you'... no snacks on 3+ hour flight United soon will require domestic flight passengers to check in 45 minutes before flight Emergency landing for a sick dog on a flight

Diddy trail his former assistant took the stand. Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawerance are father in laws after their kids got married. Ben Stiller has made comments that he might have a spinoff of Severance. Make sure to also keep up to date with ALL our podcasts we do below that have new episodes every week:The Thought ShowerLet's Get WeirdCrisis on Infinite Podcasts

Joey and Nancy were both embarrassed by something their kids said over the weekend. A girl ate several pieces of chocolate before realizing it was caffeine chocolate. She had almost 400mg of caffeine and got really sick. Nerd News! Studies reveal why we can’t tickle ourselves. Two dangerous termites have started breeding and created a more dangerous super termite. The grandson of our 10th president (from the 1840s) passed away just this week. Joey and Nancy’s Petting Zoo! Guess what item from around the office that Nancy is petting and win a trip to Zoo Knoxville to pet rhinos with us! Hot Tea: Kenny Chesney was named the best country artist of the 21st century and is also still doing his residence at The Sphere in Vegas. Fenway Park canceled its concert series that included Jason Aldean, Brooks and Dunn, and Shakira two hours before it was supposed to start. Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawerence are now in-laws. A 10-year-old girl is going viral for singing a song from Moana over the PA system of a delayed flight. Passengers had very mixed opinions. Joey thinks her parents made her do it. What did your parents make you do that embarrassed you? Lucky 7 Nancy let yet another group of strangers come into her house. A woman is claiming that her ex-boyfriend’s fart gave her a 7-year sinus infection. We talk with Chuck from the Beaver Creek Kayak Club about the Beaver Creek Flotilla that Joey and Nancy will be floatmasters for. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aries Spears is a legendary comedian and impressionist who has been commanding the stage since the age of 14. Known for his breakout work on MAD TV and his savage crowd work, Aries has become renowned for his edgy, unfiltered takes and ability to reinvent his set with every performance. With a career spanning over 36 years, Aries draws inspiration from greats like Eddie Murphy, prides himself on quick wit and improvisational skills, and never shies away from exposing the raw realities of the comedy world. In addition to standup, he hosts the popular podcast "Spears and Steinberg," where he continues to push boundaries and spotlight real, unvarnished perspectives on entertainment and life. Takeaways: Resilience is Essential: Aries details the mental and emotional challenges of comedy, emphasizing that the business can "beat your spirit up," but staying in the game means believing in yourself, even when support from loved ones is lacking. Mastering Your Craft Means Versatility: Aries likens standup to being an all-star quarterback—you must have the material (playbook), but true greatness comes from the ability to improvise crowd work, proving you can win no matter what the audience throws at you. Legacy Is in the Eyes of the Fans: Despite feeling he hasn’t fully “arrived,” Aries acknowledges that comedians often become benchmarks for new generations, and sometimes strangers (fans) provide more validation and appreciation than family or the industry. Sound Bites: “If you’re going to be a complete comedian, you need to have all the facets of your game on point... there were no weaknesses in Mike [Michael Jordan].” “Hollywood is like an uncle that molested you but put you through college.” (quoting Chris Rock) “I never cut my comedy cocaine. I’ve always kept it 100% Bolivia Yayo... there’s nothing better than having that laugh you feel like you’re not supposed to have.” Quote by Mick: “You are to [my kids] what a Pryor and a Redd Foxx were to me… Everybody can’t go to where you and I were from a database of history and comedy. So you are that benchmark to a lot of people, bro.” Connect & Discover Aries: Website: https://ariesspears.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ariesspears/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ariesspears/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_Z6Tbjk4AesZwwGggZC7qQ FOLLOW MICK ON:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mickunplugged/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mickunplugged/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@mickunplugged LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickhunt/Website: https://www.mickhuntofficial.com Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mick-unplugged/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hailey Bieber joins the club, Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy are now related, Tiger Woods' son has a big daySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

ICYMI: Hour One of ‘Later, with Mo'Kelly' Presents – Another round of “Eddie is not available” with actor/comedian Eddie Murphy's publicist Arnold Robinson…PLUS – A look at the warning for millions of Californians to avoid the sun AND the DOJ's “trans athlete” investigation - on KFI AM 640…Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app & YouTube @MrMoKelly

Adam kicks off the show by reminiscing about his co-starring role in Wreck-It Ralph and the surprising reaction it still gets from fans. He then unveils yet another classic Al Pacino scene, this time with Jay Mohr putting his own spin on the character—proving once again that Pacino impressions never get old. From there, Adam riffs on coaster weight, the gnarly side effects of Niacin, Biden's cancer diagnosis, the sheer brilliance of pit crews, and the fine line between first and last place—not just in racing, but in life. Next, Jay Chandrasekhar joins the show and dives into:The universal boyhood obsession with foot speed (because being the fastest kid on the playground is basically royalty).His journey through comedy as an Indian kid in grade school, dealing with stereotypes and British influence over India.The decision to cast himself in movies and TV shows instead of waiting for Hollywood (considering the only Indian "stars" he saw were Fisher Stevens and Peter Sellers in brownface).The hilariously awkward story of wearing his wife's underpants (sometimes you just gotta improvise).Why comedy films should be communal experiences—because laughing alone just isn't the same.Jay and Adam also break down the realities of directing low-budget movies vs. TV shows, and Jay introduces his new app, VouchVault, which he swears will revolutionize review sites and help him finally get revenge on Rotten Tomatoes. They wrap up their chat by agreeing that seeing Phish live is overrated, and Jay shares his comedic influences: John Landis, Eddie Murphy, and Richard Pryor. Naturally, both Jay and Adam declare Spinal Tap the greatest comedy of all time. Jason "Mayhem" Miller joins the show and kicks off the news with a must-see clip of Adam singing "Big Bottoms" with John Popper. From there, the trio dives into the top stories of the day, including:Joe Biden's cancer diagnosis.NYC's most notorious repeat offender—a guy who's been caught 134 times for stealing and still hasn't stopped.And finally, the mind-blowing possibility of science turning lead into gold.Get it on!FOR MORE WITH JAY CHANDRASEKHAR:INSTAGRAM: @jaychandrasekharTWITTER: @jaychandrasekhaAPP: https://www.vouchvault.com/FOR MORE WITH JASON “MAYHEM” MILLER:INSTAGRAM: @mayhemmillerTWITTER: @mayhemmillerWEBSITE: magnvs.io/pages/summit?via=mayhemThank you for supporting our sponsors:BetOnlineCalderaLab.com/ADAMGo to https://hometitlelock.com/adamcarolla and use promo code ADAM to get a FREE title history report so you can find out if you're already a victim AND 14 days of protection for FREE! And make sure to check out the Million Dollar TripleLock protection details when you get there! Exclusions apply. For details visit https://hometitlelock.com/warrantyoreillyauto.com/ADAMGo to https://OmahaSteaks.com to shop delicious Father's Day gift packages. And use Promo Code ADAM at checkout for an extra $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. See site for details. A big thanks to our advertiser, Omaha Steaks!Pluto.tvSIMPLISAFE.COM/ADAMLIVE SHOWS: May 24 - Bellflower, CA (2 shows)May 30 - Tacoma, WA (2 shows)May 31 - Tacoma, WA (2 shows)June 1 - Spokane, WA (2 shows)June 11 - Palm Springs, CAJune 13 - Salt Lake City, UT (2 shows)June 14 - Salt Lake City, UT (2 shows)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.