Podcast appearances and mentions of foster cline

254. Raising Healthy Children with Dr. Charles Fay   2 Chronicles 20:12b (NIV) "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”   **Transcription Below**   Questions and Topics We Discuss: When it comes to helping our child find purpose in life, what are some helpful questions to ask and why is this even important? What are some specific examples of beneficial discipline for a variety of ages of children? What are natural and proactive ways we can improve mental health in ourselves and our children? Charles Fay, PhD, is an internationally recognized author, consultant, and public speaker. He is also president of the Love and Logic Institute, which became part of Amen Clinics in 2020. Millions of educators, mental health professionals, and parents worldwide have benefited from Dr. Fay's down-to-earth solutions to the most common and frustrating behaviors displayed by youth of all ages. These methods come directly from years of experience serving severely disturbed youth and their families in psychiatric hospitals, public and private schools, homes, and other settings. For more information, visit loveandlogic.com.   Dr. Fay's Book, Co-Authored with Dr. Daniel Amen: Raising Mentally Strong Kids   Dr. Amen's Website   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank   Connect with The Savvy Sauce Our Website, Instagram or Facebook    Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   ** Transcription**   [00:00:00]   Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   [00:00:18]   Laura Dugger: Thank you to an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank who paid the sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness. Learn more about this amazing nonprofit organization at MidwestFoodBank.org.    My guest for today is Dr. Charles Fay, and he's the current president of the Love and Logic Institute. We're going to discuss various questions about parenting, so we'll cover things that are related to beneficial discipline, brain health, and the balance of pursuing quality time with our children, while also not forgetting to include a wise amount of breaks.   Many of these insights can be found in this book that Dr. Fay co-authored with Dr. Daniel Amen, and it's entitled Raising Mentally Strong Kids.    Here's our chat. [00:01:20]    Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Dr. Fay.   Dr. Charles Fay: Thank you so much. I feel so blessed to be here. Thank you, everyone who's watching and listening. We're so thankful for you.   Laura Dugger: Well, I know that many people are already familiar with you and even your family of origin, but will you just tell us a bit about your family and the work that you get to do?   Dr. Charles Fay: Well, I'm so blessed by having two parents who were really imperfect people who had wonderful hearts. They were always trying to get better. That's one of the messages I want to send to people is that it's not about being perfect. None of us are, none of us can't be, and none of us have to be. That's really the good news. That's the gospel right there. [00:02:08] So we want to kick back and relax and enjoy our time together here.    My family, my father, Jim Fay, was unhappy with how well he was doing with students in his role as an educator. And he wasn't real happy with his parenting. So he went on a desperate search, I'd say, for skills. This was when I was a kid. And I've got some grades. That was a while ago.    But he developed with Dr. Foster Cline, a love of logic approach. I want to give you two pivotal foundational ideas right off the bat that will, I think, take the pressure off of you as a parent and help you raise really great kids.   Our first rule of love and logic is that we take really good care of ourselves. One of the ways we do that is by setting limits without anger, lecture, threats, or repeated warnings. But let's see, if our kids are going to grow up to be really strong and healthy and loving people, they cannot treat us like doormats. [00:03:14] That's not going to work for them. And it's not going to work for you. So it's not selfish, in fact, it's very loving to take good care of yourself by setting limits.    The research is clear. Kids who have limits are happier. Now, they might not be happier in the short term. They might be mad at you in the store or call you the worst mom or dad in the world. But long term, they're happier and they have much less anxiety because limits equal safety. Limits equal love.    Laura and I are going to talk about limits as we go through this podcast, but I just want to throw out that main idea, that that you... you know, our obligation to them is to put ourselves first in a loving way so that we have energy to be able to parent them well.    Now, the second idea that I want to share with you is that when a kid causes a problem, this is rule number two, when a kid causes a problem or they encounter a problem that is not a life and death issue, hand it back. [00:04:16] The great parent, the beautiful, wise parent is asking with empathy, Oh, honey, you forgot to do your assignment, and now, you know, you're calling me and asking me what I'm going to do. If any kid can handle this, you can. What do you think you're going to do?   Oh, my coach won't let me play. That's heartbreaking. I know how much you care about this. Notice the empathy first. And then this question. What do you think you're going to do? What do you think you're going to do? I want you to memorize that, parents, right now. Write it down. What do you think you're going to do?    And it's asked with sincerity and with love, and of course, we're going to follow up with some ideas for the kid, but we're not going to own it. We're going to let them own it. Because there's another very clear piece of research that's come out after all these decades of love and large teaching that the perils of helicopter parenting. [00:05:25]    We've been preaching that for years. We've been teaching that for years. Don't rescue your kids unnecessarily. Only do it when they really need it, because kids who are rescued come to believe that they need rescue and they're terrified throughout life. "Oh, no. How am I going to handle life? I've never really had to deal with problems before."    See, and now the research is very clear that the helicopter parenting to over-rescue where we don't allow kids to own and solve their problems is strongly associated with high levels of depression and anxiety in adulthood. So, again, isn't it interesting, Laura, that a lot of the things that we do as parents where we think, oh, gosh, I feel kind of bad because, you know, I'm putting myself first or I feel kind of bad because I expected my kid to solve this problem.    You know, we feel guilty. We are like, oh, no, maybe I'm a bad parent because they got really upset about that. [00:06:27] It's interesting that a lot of times when we feel that way, we're actually doing exactly what's required to help our kids have the most joyful and productive lives and be able to see the value. I'm going to be really clear here, the value of handing over their lives to the Lord. Lord, I need you. I can't control everything. I mean, we want this. But isn't it interesting, isn't it interesting that we often feel guilty when we do those things?   Laura Dugger: But I think you're just illustrating so well not leaning on our own understanding. You brought up these tensions. I want to zero in on that because there are some tensions in parenting where, on one hand, we do want to pursue quality time with our children, and we know that's important, and we need to pursue breaks and rest as the caretaker. How do you manage tensions like that? Or I'll just name one more, the tension of embracing both firmness and kindness. [00:07:35]    Dr. Charles Fay: If you have that tension, parents, if you have that tension where you're like, oh, I know I should be firm and kind, but I can't find that sweet spot, where is that sweet spot? Okay, I don't know if this is encouraging to you, but I haven't found that sweet spot.    Or you're thinking, where's the balance between quality time and authentic, intimate relationship with our kids and also saying, Okay, my turn. I need a break. Where's that sweet spot? Oh, I'll find it someday. Never found it.   Now, I've talked to a lot of people over this, and there are a lot of tensions in life, and many of them are spiritual tensions. The reality is, it's really good for us to have those. When you feel that tension, you're probably somewhere in the right spot. [00:08:36] It's the people who don't experience the tension that are problematic. It's a parent who never thinks, oh, maybe I should spend a little time taking care of myself. They're just totally idolizing their kids, and they do everything for their kids. That's really problematic. Or, on the other side, the parent who thinks, oh, the kids will raise them well. They're bright kids. They never worry about it.    Again, I just want to be completely frank with you and authentic, honest. You're going to have that tension, and sometimes you're not going to quite get it right. Sometimes you're going to be maybe a little firmer than you should be, and other times you're going to be a little kinder than you should be, or more loving than you should be, or soft than you should be. You're going to make those mistakes. There's going to be a dynamic tension forever between these things. [00:09:36] The good news is, isn't it great that we're not running the show?    Laura Dugger: Absolutely.   Dr. Charles Fay: If we had to be perfect, and God wasn't in control, what a disaster that would be, right? We have a sovereign, all-knowing, all-loving God of the universe, creator, sovereign creator, and sustainer of the universe who's taking all of this and working it together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Let's rest in that.   Laura Dugger: I think that's very much the word that's coming through is rest and trusting in Him. But when it comes to maybe even to those actionable moments, if a parent can't discern when they're going too much to one of those sides, do you have any questions for self-reflection or practical examples? [00:10:46]    Dr. Charles Fay: Well, you go to a friend of yours, and you go to people you really trust, godly people you really trust, and you ask them, be honest with me, what do you see in my life? You go to people who your kids are relating to, teachers, coaches, and you ask them to be honest with you. And you make it easy for them to be honest with you, which means that if they share something that's a little painful, you don't overreact, right? You don't make it hard for people to be honest with you.   So many times, we don't really have a good picture of how wonderful our kids are because we live with them all the time. Let's think about how do people who live together treat each other? It's the reality, the sad reality of it, but it's the reality, and it's a consistent historical reality, is people who are walking through the desert together, camping out every day, dealing with adversity, are not always their best when they're with each other. [00:11:59] I think my wife would agree with that.    Now, of course, I'm not saying it's okay to treat people who are close to us with disrespect or anything. Of course, we want to be preying on that and doing the very best we can to love those close people very well. But one of the ways we evaluate how well we're managing that tension is looking at how do our kids treat other people? How do they treat their teachers? How do they treat their coaches? How do they handle situations when they're away from us?    I've had so many parents come to me and say, oh, I struggle with my kids. We have power struggles, and they get snippy with me, and I get snippy with them. How does that sound like real life? But I have people, and they're all racked up. Oh, no, my kids, they're a nightmare. But the teachers say, "Oh, I wish I had 30 of your son. I wish I had..." all this sort of thing. [00:13:01]    It's so interesting in that that's really where you look. That's really where you look is how are they handling the rest of the people in their lives? And then, of course, again, we want to work on the home environment. Over the years, I've seen so many people get pretty desperate and concerned when they really have some pretty great kids out there.   Laura Dugger: That's so encouraging. Thank you, Charles. I'd love to shift gears because there's this piece that you wrote about in your book that I just loved. You were talking about us helping our children find their purpose in life. So what are some helpful questions to ask, and why is this even important?    Dr. Charles Fay: Well, first of all, it's important because people who have purpose... and I want to define purpose for everybody after I answer that question. [00:14:03] But people who have healthy purpose, true purpose, they're more joyful, they live longer, they have better relationships. It's one of those things that if you have it, you can handle just about anything.   Viktor Frankl, Holocaust, was in a Nazi death camp. He studied that, and he found that people who have a purpose, those people who were in that camp that had a purpose were the ones that could survive emotionally and actually were able to deal with that trauma better later on. You'd think none of us... I shouldn't say none of us, but very few of us can even imagine how awful that was. We can't even wrap our heads around that. But that sense of purpose can help us cope with some pretty, pretty horrible things. And that's what he was so famous for talking about, Viktor Frankl. So that's why.    So what is purpose? Purpose is making the world a better place. [00:15:11] Purpose is serving other people. Purpose is serving God. King Solomon's... this isn't in the book, by the way, but King Solomon looked for a purpose. If you're interested, look at Ecclesiastes. It's a very interesting biblical work on the search for purpose. And he tried a lot of things, gold, lots of horses, lots of wives, lots of this, lots of that, lots of fun, lots of partying, all meaningless, all a chasing after the wind. It won't get us that sense of purpose.    So what is purpose? It is serving other people. How do we do it? How do we find our purpose? So questions we ask our kids is, what do you love doing? Because our purpose comes out of our gifts. So God gave us those gifts for a purpose, okay? He gave us those gifts for a reason, to serve other people. That's the essence of servant leadership. [00:16:13] That's really what we're talking about here.    So we ask our kids, what are you really great at? We observe our kids, and we notice what their natural gifts are, and we know something is a gift. And this is how we know something is a gift, is when we engage in that activity and time goes by, we don't realize how much time has gone by because we're so into it. We love it. That's one criteria.    This is very important. One criteria for a gift is time goes by. It's so natural that we just do it. It feels effortless, and it's joyful.    Secondly, it helps other people. That's the definition of a gift. There's a lot in the book about purpose, by the way. If I tried to cover all of it right now, we'd all be confused. We'd walk away and think, wow, that was kind of neat, but I'm confused.    Love and Logic, my job has always been to oversimplify things so people could really grab a hold of them. So that's what we're going to do here. [00:17:18] So let's come in close here. We want to help our kids discover what they're naturally great at that helps other people. So let that sink into our ears. What are we naturally great at, and does that help other people?    And then we start asking our kids a series of questions. What do you love doing? What do you love doing? What would you do for free? If you could have a job doing something, what would it be? And we watch them, and we talk to teachers, and we talk to other people who know our kids well, and we identify those strengths. We're asking our kids, who is that going to serve? Who can you serve with that? How would you see yourself serving? [00:18:20]    Now, by the way, these questions we ask that are all laid out in the book are questions that we don't barrage our kids with. So we don't sit down and say, okay, let's talk about purpose, and then just barrage them with it. That's so counterproductive. No. The things like you're driving along in the car, and you're saying, "Honey, I noticed that you're really good at sewing. That really seems to be a gift. I wonder if you could use that. Can you see yourself using that to help other people, to serve other people? Who would those people be? How would you do that? That's exciting to think about."   You're just pondering these things in front of your kids. And you're not expecting them to have all this information they throw back at you. Well, Dad, I've been thinking about... No. No. Honestly, a lot of times kids don't seem like they're participating when we ask these questions. Those seeds are growing inside of their brains, inside of their hearts. [00:19:24]    And for us ourselves, a lot of times it's, what hardship have we had? What trauma have we had?  What circumstances that have been so uncomfortable for us can we take and use to serve other people? I live in Colorado, not far from Columbine High School. There were many people, many people traumatized by that shooting, horrendous event.   Many, many people, the people who were able to heal and grow from that, as strange as that sounds, it's not easy, but the people who were able to heal and move forward were the people who took that and they went out and they created something to help other people. This organization called Rachel's Challenge, and do anti-bullying. And the school has done wonderful work for many, many years. So that's an important concept. [00:20:29]    So we're asking these questions. We're listening. We're not expecting kids to have a lot of feedback they share with us, but we're writing those things down. The most important part, it was stop again, spend the lion's share of your energy focusing on their gifts. See, so often in all of our relationships, it's so easy to start focusing on what other people do wrong or what they need to do better at. Happens in every relationship. It's a tendency that human beings have.    But friends, what would happen if you could say to yourself, I'm going to spend the lion's share of my time and energy focusing on what my wife's natural gifts are, or my husband's or my kids or my neighbors or my employees. [00:21:32] Of course, that doesn't mean that we're not going to give feedback that's necessary about things they need to change or we'd like them to change.    But here's a basic principle. Build others up. Build others up in their areas of strength so that they have the courage and the strength to tackle their areas of weakness.   Laura Dugger: Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor.    [00:22:05]   Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank exists to provide industry-leading food relief to those in need while feeding them spiritually. They are a food charity with a desire to demonstrate God's love by providing help to those in need. Unlike other parts of the world where there's not enough food, in America, the resources actually do exist.    That's why food pantries and food banks like Midwest Food Bank are so important. The goods that they deliver to their agency partners help to supplement the food supply for families and individuals across our country, aiding those whose resources are beyond stretched.    Midwest Food Bank also supports people globally through their locations in Haiti and East Africa, which are some of the areas hardest hit by hunger arising from poverty. This ministry reaches millions of people every year. And thanks to the Lord's provision, 99% of every donation goes directly toward providing food to people in need. The remaining 1% of income is used for fundraising, cost of leadership, oversight, and other administrative expenses. Donations, volunteers, and prayers are always appreciated for Midwest Food Bank.    To learn more, visit MidwestFoodBank.org Or listen to episode 83 of The Savvy Sauce where the founder, David Kieser, shares miracles of God that he's witnessed through this nonprofit organization. I hope you check them out today.   [00:23:33]   Laura Dugger: It's interesting how you wrote about even the purpose of purpose for our kids. Just a few practical things. I'm just going to string together some lessons of yours. So from chapter two, you wrote, ultimately, your goals determine your behavior. Not that we're using this as a self-serving tool as parents. But I think there is a reality and a principle, even in scripture, I think of reaping and sowing. But encouraging our children and speaking words of life over them or over our spouse, you actually see that come out of them as well.    And as you talk about goal setting, you also write on page 48 that goal setting is also one of the best ways to develop your child's prefrontal cortex and mental strength to help set them up for success. Then you even gave one more practical tip somewhere later in the book that we can go first. We can share our purpose with our children. [00:24:43] I think this idea was just exciting to me, even with our children at young ages, that it's never too early, like you said, to plant those seeds.   Dr. Charles Fay: It's never too early. And see, when people see us having a purpose and a passion, they want to join along. Years ago, when I was learning to be a public speaker, I studied people. And I noticed that some of the people that I was most excited about listening to weren't that great of speakers. I mean, they stuttered a little bit, and they wore a bad suit, and they just were kind of nervous at times. But man, there's something about them where I was like, That dude is awesome. Man, I want to listen to that lady, you know, again. I want to... you know, so-and-so.    And then there'd be other people who were, man, they look good, they're flashy. Oh, yeah, they got all the right-hand movements, all that sort of stuff. But I thought, no, that's kind of not... just not... And I analyzed that for years, decades.    Somebody said it loud and clear to me. I was talking to a friend of mine, he says, "It's the people who have passion. People have a sincere purpose, and we're drawn to that. It's that authenticity. It's the realness. It's this person really believes this, and they're so excited about it that they just can't stand it. It's just jumping out of them. [00:26:10]    And so when we model that... and it can be about anything. Okay, so let's say I'm a garbage collector. I drive the garbage truck. I am so excited about the fact that if it wasn't for me, people would die of disease. This place would be a mess, you know? And kids see that, and they're like, "My dad has purpose. My mom has purpose.   You could be a heart surgeon. You could be a brain surgeon. You could be a garbage collector. You could be anything. But having that deeper purpose and communicating that, talking about it around our kids, letting them overhear it, super powerful.   Laura Dugger: This is a very proactive conversation, planning these ideas. I think of something else that would be really helpful to be proactive or to pre-decide would be wise ways to discipline. [00:27:09] So, Dr. Fay, I'm curious, do you have any specific examples of beneficial discipline for a variety of ages?   Dr. Charles Fay: Yeah Well, the first thing we need to learn as parents is how to not get pulled into arguments. Because if we can't, if our kids can argue with us, we're never going to be affected with anything else.    So parents, step one, when the kid starts to argue, don't think so hard about it. Don't try to talk sense into them. Because when we start lecturing and we start talking too much, what starts to happen is the kid thinks, "Wow, this argument is really working. Look at mom's face. I can control the tone of her voice, the color of her face, the longevity of her cardiovascular system."    And see, ironically, we're trying to control the kid, but they're really controlling us. They're getting us to say more words, get frustrated, that sort of thing. So as soon as the arguing starts, say to yourself, don't think so hard about this. [00:28:11]    The second step is just keep saying the same thing. You can pick mine. When my kids were younger. I love you too much to argue. I love you too much to argue. Now, that's discipline. See, discipline really means teaching kids the right way over the wrong way. That's basically what it's all about.   One of the fundamental aspects of discipline is being able to submit to authority figures. Now we're getting on the tough side of the road here a little bit. Your kids need to learn how to submit to you. This is not a democracy in this home. I don't say that to the kids. I'm saying it to you. We do it through action.   The effective parenting style is not a democratic where everybody gets to vote and we have debates about things. Absolutely not. It is a benevolent monarchy. [00:29:11] And the parents are the rulers, but they're the kind and loving, wise rulers.    See, because if a kid argues with you, what that really means is they think they should get their way all the time. Now, ultimately, who are we preparing our kids to have? Well, who are we preparing our kids to submit to for Christians? A political figure? Somebody who lets them vote on or the king of the universe? Christ, right?    So when kids don't learn how to submit to loving authority figures, they don't learn how to submit to loving authority, life is really hard for them. That's the essence of discipline is teaching our kids how to submit to loving, just authority.   So I want my kids early on to learn that when I say something I mean it and they can't argue with me and get me to back down or get me to get frustrated. [00:30:25] So, again, could argues I say to myself, no reasoning, no discussion, no debate, no voting, right? And then I calmly repeat: I love you too much to argue on. But that's not fair. I love you. They won't give up. We just keep on doing it. They're gonna get mad. Because we all get mad when we don't get our way. Some of us aren't that honest about it. They say, oh, no, I don't. No. We all get frustrated when we don't get our way. That's called the sin nature. We all get frustrated when we don't get our way. But we're all comforted when we don't get our way.   Let me say that again. We all get frustrated when we don't get our way, but we're all are comforted in the long run when we don't get our way because our way is not always the best way. In fact many times it is. So that's one of the very first skills. I love you too much to argue or I'll listen when your voice is calm or I'll be happy to listen to your ideas as long as I feel like you're not trying to get me to back down. [00:31:37] But you keep the same one. You repeat the same little love and logic one-liner every time.   I knew a mom who just said this. "Well, I want this. You got to buy this for me." "Mmh" "Well, how come you keep saying that?" "Mmh" "Well, that's driving me crazy." "Mmh" And I'll listen when your voice is calm. But she said she loved it. It was so easy for her. All she had to do. And now the kids are teenagers, by the way, and she's been doing it for years. And she'd say, "Mmh". And they're "we know you're just gonna say 'Mmh'".   She raised kids who really love her dearly, but they didn't always like her. Okay. There's a little nugget. They didn't always love her and they didn't always like her, but they love her dearly. Let's branch out from that. [00:32:36]    Another skill is being able to set effective limits that we can follow through often. So you want our yes to be yes and our no to be no. Important parenting principle, life principle: Our yes is yes and our no is no. But how do we do that/ By focusing only on what we can control.   See, who can I control?    Laura Dugger: Me.   Dr. Charles Fay: The harsh reality is I can't really control my kids. I can't really control my wife. I really can't control the direction the country goes here or there. I mean, there are very few things I can control. Of course, I do my civic duty and I do the best that I can. But ultimately the only thing that I truly can control and this is tough even is myself, right? [00:33:30]    We call this setting limits with enforceable statements. So when I set a limit with an enforceable statement, I'm describing what I'm gonna do and what I'm gonna allow. And I am not trying to tell the kid what to do. And I'm not issuing threats. You already heard a couple of them. "I'll listen when your voice is calm. I'll be happy to take you to your friends when the chores are done. I play games when I'm not having somebody yelling at me."   I mean how many of us have played candy land with our little kids, right, and they start to lose. And now they're all upset. "You're cheating. That's not fair. You're mean." "I'll be happy to play with you as long as this is fun for me." Which is one I use a lot.   And then as soon as it's not fun for me, what happens? I get up and I go. [00:34:33] "But I'll be good." I know you'll be good and we'll try again some other time. And the other time will be pretty soon. But they need to see that there is action associated with the limit. If we want to get to the essence of discipline, let's get to it.    Essence of discipline. Number one. We have a good relationship with our kids. We love them and we show them that and we focus mostly on their strengths, and they feel bonded to us and they want to please us at heart. Relationship is part of discipline. It's teaching them the right way versus the wrong way. So that has to come first.    The second that comes first is that we set limits. We describe what we're going to do and what we're going to allow. Yeah, and they're fair limits. We do our best to be fair. And then when they don't live by those limits, we don't nag, we don't remind, we don't rescue, we take loving action. We are empathetic and we take loving action. [00:35:33]    So a dad says to me, "Oh, I went to Love and Logic years to go. My kids were totally out of control. My wife passed away when they were really young. I felt so guilty. I felt so bad for them that I let them do everything they wanted to do. Oh, they wouldn't listen to anything. They were tyrants." I said, "Oh, how are they now? Oh, they're good now. I mean, they're not perfect people, but I'm not. They're good. They're good. My daughter's turned out great."   I said, "Well, what made the difference?" He said, "I took them to Chuck E. Cheese." I said, "What?" He said, "Kids were out of control in public. Oh, that was the worst time. So I took him to Chuck E. Cheese." I thought, "I'm not getting this." He says, "No, you don't understand." I said, "I don't understand." He says, "I realized that one of the problems I had was that we'd go out and they'd act up and I'd say, "If you keep acting up we're leaving. But I never would because I'd feel too guilty." [00:36:30]    And so he said, "I decided to take him to Chuck E. Cheese because it's kind of a chaotic place. Most of the time and I thought, "I won't back down. I'll be glad to get out of this." I thought, "Well, that's kind of a wise idea there." And he says, "I took them to Chuck E. Cheese. We were actually having a good time. But then now they're starting to act up like crazy, right?" So he said to me, he said, "Guys, we get to stay as long as it's fun for me and there are no problems." And they kept up. And you know what he did? "He got up and he started walking away. And they said, "Daddy, daddy. Why are we leaving?" He says, "This is not fun. This isn't working for me."    And they didn't think he'd really follow through because he never had. But he kept walking. Pretty soon they catch up and they said, "Daddy, daddy, we just got our pizza." He said, "Don't worry about the pizza. Somebody else will get it. I love you guys. Let's go home. This isn't fun for me." [00:37:26]    They got in the car, oh, and they were crying and he felt like the worst dad in the world. He's driving along and he's just feeling so guilty. But he said to himself, "I'm going to stay strong. I'm going to stay strong." And he drove home. "Oh, and it was a miserable day," he said.    Well, he started doing that more. They went to the park one day and he said, "Guys, we get to stay as long as there's no problems, no throwing sand, no running away from me. And as long as you're staying right by me." And they tested it, didn't they?    Let's think about human beings. How far do we need to get into the Old Testament to see people start testing limits? I think it's only maybe two chapters or so. It's really not very long. That's what we do. That's what human beings do. So don't be surprised when your kids do it. So they tested the limit and he just starts saying, "Hey guys, we're going home." And he just went home. [00:38:26] No warnings, no reminders. No lectures.    See, what kind of a blessing is it for our kids if they can learn to listen the first time? Is that unreasonable? Is it because we're on a power trip or because we want them to have happy lives?    Laura Dugger: Absolutely, the second.   Dr. Charles Fay: And the whole time he says, "I'm hating it. Honestly, Dr. Fay, I just don't like it. I'm not comfortable with any of this. I feel like I'm being mean, I'm being criticized by other people." People are saying, Well, in this book it says you should never do something like that. You know, I'm getting all of that and I'm so conflicted I'm feeling the tension.    He said what changed things is we were in Home Depot not too long after these training sessions as we'll call it. I didn't have a plan at all and I needed to be there. I really couldn't leave. And they're starting to carry on with each other. And I just looked at him and I said, Oh. And the older one sent to the younger one. But they were. It blew me away. How did they learn? It'll be good by learning that my word is gold and that I was actually going to take some action. [00:39:51]    Laura Dugger: I love that. Then that goes back to the letting your “yes” be yes, and your “no” be no. It also reminds me I believe it's Hebrews 12:11. It says, "No discipline is pleasant at the time, but painful later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." I think that beautifully illustrates it.    Dr. Charles Fay: I love that verse. A harvest of righteousness and peace. Think about that. So we feel guilty for doing it, but we're actually giving our kids the most beautiful things in life through it. And you know what we're really doing when we're doing this? We're preparing for the day when our kid is about ready to do something that's really dangerous and we have no control over it. They're 17 years old, they say, "I'm going to this party. I don't care." And you're thinking, "I know that it's in a bad part of town. I know there's been shootings there. I know there's kids there's gonna be drugs there." You're thinking all these things. [00:40:57]    Are you gonna have enough respect and love in their eyes to be able to pull it off when you say, "Don't go. I'm concerned about you." Have you upped the odds for having that much strength and love in their eyes? That's what we're really going for.   Now if I've never been a loving authority figure, chances are they're going to look at me and think, "Well, what does he know? He's kind of a nice guy over here. He's kind of a tyrant over here, whatever." But they don't have that love and that discipline experience from us. That makes all the difference in the world.   Laura Dugger: Guess what? We are no longer an audio-only podcast. We now have video included as well. If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. [00:42:01] We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com.   All of these topics that we've touched on are covered in your book. I just want to address one more area Because we don't talk about this a lot. But you and Dr. Amen agree in your book where it says, "Mental health is really brain health." You make the argument that mental health follows a healthy brain.    If we're going specifically, it's pages 22 through 24. But can you walk us through what it means when you say "bright minds"?    Dr. Charles Fay: So it's basically an acronym. B stands for blood flow. The more blood flow, the more oxygen, the more cleansing of the brain, the more circulation going on there, obviously the better the brain is going to work. [00:43:03]    Exercise, so important. You know talking about kids, so important. There should be very strong limits over screen time, by the way. In fact, the less the better. Highly effective parents now are saying that they're really moving back towards traditional model of schooling where kids are doing things with pencil and paper. They're not on the screen all the time. They're setting firm limits where kids don't have their own phones until maybe they're older teenagers.   I mean that sounds radical, if we look at the way the rest of the world is running, right? It sounds radical. Oh my goodness. How could you possibly do that? Now, do we really want our kids to be as low-functioning as the rest of the world? Simple question, right? Do we really want that?    You know, we used to say prepare kids for the real world. No. [00:44:04] Now I say, prepare kids to be shining stars. Not the real world. Now I'm preaching. I'm sorry. I get that way.    R is rational. Thinking the truth. We tell ourselves lies all the time. You know, I'm not good enough. I'm a bad person. I don't know who I am. I have no identity. There's no hope for me. Is that reality? No, that's not rational thinking. It's truth.    Every time I entertain or harbor irrational thought, that creates problems for my brain. It's actually destructive to brain cells because it creates stress and stress damages brain cells. In the book we talk a lot about mental hygiene. How can we be focused on the truth and help our kids focus on the truth? What is the truth? It's what God says. It's God's word. That's the truth. That's the truth. You do have a purpose. You are loved. You're made in God's image. And you as a parent that applies to you too, right? Don't forget that. [00:45:23]    I is for inflammation. We know that when there's infections, when there's any sort of injury when people over-exercise, it creates inflammation. And that creates problems for the brain. We don't think well when there's inflammation.    G is for genetics. Daniel put that in there. I'm so glad though that if we know what our genetics are, we can do things that overcome those genetic challenges. So it's not like, oh, my dad had this or my mom had this and I'm doomed. No, it's good to know about that, take that into account, and take steps to correct in that area.   Head trauma. Kids have to wear helmets. We're not fans of kids playing football. Oh, there you go. I just lost a bunch of people. It's pretty traumatic for the brain. I think if you talk to any brain expert, they'll say the same thing. [00:46:35]    Toxins. That's what the t stands for. So we're going down this acronym bright minds, right? This is all in the book. I'm looking at page 22 and 23. But the toxins are really an issue. And so when we have a kid who's starting to make poor decisions and maybe basic discipline isn't working and we're seeing some behavior that's pretty scary, we want to be analyzing these things, too because I've seen kids who had exposure to some toxins. And all the discipline, all the psychological work in the world is not gonna cure that problem if there's something going on with that. Molds. Some forms of mold very very strongly related to brain health issues, physical issues.    Minds. M stands for mental health. You know, mental health. Mental health is the single most powerful thing you can do to help your kids to have good mental health is to be a strong and loving parent. [00:47:56]    Every one of your kids is going to be different. Everyone is going to have different challenges. But that strength and that love and the firmness and the kindness can help overcome so many of those. And that's the main contributor to mental health. I mean, we're relational. People, human beings are relational.    When we have relationships we are far less likely to have mental health issues. And brain health issues all dovetails together. Immune system problems. That's the I. That's another thing we look at is, is there an immune system issue? Is there an overactive or underactive immune system or infections going on?    Neuro hormone issues. And all this sounds deep. Parents, what do you do with this? You're listening to this and you're thinking, wow, now he's going into a lot of stuff. [00:48:54] Okay, here's what I recommend. You get the book. You focus on the basic discipline. You do the preventative things. If those things aren't working, you start looking back at the book. I have to look at the book. I forget what's in this book sometimes. I wrote it, all for crying out loud. I'm a mess. It's good, though.   I was reading it today and I thought, "This makes sense." But see, I have to go back to it and ask myself constantly, am I really following these things? So you start with the basic discipline. Those things aren't working. You go back to the book, you start taking away at the different subjects we bring up and you're going to have success. It's going to give you a road map. But there's a lot there.   So I just talked about neurohormone issues. That's something that a doctor has to look at. We talk about the D stands for diabetes and obesity. Those two things have a dramatic impact on brain health. [00:49:59]   Lastly, sleep. Oh, my goodness, sleep. Sleep's huge. I would say that the significant percentage of the learning and behavioral issues we see with kids, huge percentage, way over 50% of those problems are dramatically impacted by lack of quality sleep.   Laura Dugger: Wow.    Dr. Charles Fay: Way too many kids are staying up at night and way too many parents are allowing their kids to have screens in their bedroom. Let me share with you two things you can do that will have a dramatic impact on your family. They're really simple, but hard. They're simple because the concept isn't very complicated. They're hard because you're going to get pushback.    Simple. Gospel. Jesus, I need you. I can't do this myself. [00:50:56] I'm a sinner. I need you as my savior. I'm going to follow you. So here are two things you can do. If you do these, I can guarantee you your life's going to be better. You're gonna have healthier kids, healthier brains.    No screens in their bedrooms. They don't take their screens into their bedrooms during the day, during the night, any time. If they do have to do their homework, they do it in the kitchen. No screens in your bedroom.    Too many TVs, too many screens in your bedroom. You do those two things, life's going to be way better. It's going to be real uncomfortable at first for some people but life's going to be way better in the long term.    Laura Dugger: I think you're kind of leading us into, I believe it's chapter nine, where you get so practical about implementing this and educating us on the importance of mental health and brain health, but helping us to be proactive to improve those areas. You list natural ways. I'll just go over a few of these that I've gleaned from chapter nine and I'd love to hear you go a little bit deeper on whichever one jumps out.  [00:52:07]    Even as simple as eating protein that supports it. You talk about eating lots of protein and produce, the importance of having other high quality calories, and limiting sugar or anything boxed or processed. That's the section where you do go into limiting screens. And then also maximizing time with healthy people and maximizing time outdoors and getting physical exercise, investing in friendships, staying hydrated. Again, simple one. That is where you talk about getting plenty of sleep. Those are just some examples.   Dr. Charles Fay: Things that are best for us, we look at them like, oh man, do I really have to do that? There's this tension inside of us and it's so easy for us to get rebellious. So one thing I want to be really clear is we're not reaching to you and saying you have to do this, if you don't do this, you're a bad person, that sort of thing. That's not what this is all about.  [00:53:19]    But I will say, how can I make the choices that ultimately bring glory to God? The healthier I am physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, the more likely that I am going to be able to do that in ways that I feel good about.   Laura Dugger: Dr. Charles, there is just so much that we could continue to glean as wisdom from you. So where are some places you could direct us after this conversation if we want to continue learning more?   Dr. Charles Fay: Well, the book that I have here, again, it's just packed full of stuff. Practical. It's called, I don't know if you can see it or not, Raising Mentally Strong Kids. It's got a long subtitle. [00:54:15] If you look anywhere online, you're going to see that Daniel Amen, MD, Charles Fay, PhD, Raising Mentally Strong Kids. You're going to find that anywhere quality books are sold.    You can find out about Love and Logic by going to loveandlogic.com or you can look at danielamenmd.com or all over the web, you can find us there. And I think you'll enjoy the book because we've made mistakes, we've learned from millions of parents and years of research.   Laura Dugger: Well, thank you truly for this resource. It is chock full of goodness and wisdom and experience, and that is a labor of love. So I appreciate that. We'll also link to all of these places in the show notes for today's episode.    But you also are aware that we're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. So as my final question for you today, Dr. Fay, what is your savvy sauce?  [00:55:26]    Dr. Charles Fay: Oh, well, I have to say there's so many times where I find myself thinking, I don't know what to do. Any of you have that experience? You feel like the world is crashing down on you and I don't know what to do. There's no clear direction here in one way or another. So one of the things I want to say loud and clear is that my savvy sauce is saying to myself, "Lord, I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on you." Because I'm not smart enough to handle all this. But He'll guide us.   Laura Dugger: So good. Lord, I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on you. Thank you. You've given us so many, even one-liners that are memorable. So we can take this and apply it. And you've given a lot of encouragement to us as parents. So I'm grateful for your time and I just want to say thank you for being my guest. [00:56:29]    Dr. Charles Fay: Oh, thank you, Laura. Just a real blessing. Thanks for watching and listening to everybody. We're so thankful for you. Take care.   Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves.   This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a Savior.   But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. [00:57:28]    Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us.   Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.    So would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. [00:58:27]    If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him. You get the opportunity to live your life for Him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you ready to get started?    First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible, and I love it. You can start by reading the Book of John.    Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps, such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.    We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.  [00:59:28]    Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.    If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

How can you integrate family life with career ambitions successfully? Join renowned author and entrepreneur Michael Hyatt, along with his wife Gail, as they share insights on setting boundaries, crafting a family vision, and the tools they've used to maintain balance. Hop in to discover strategies for thriving in both family and career!     Key takeaways to listen for Lack of boundaries and the steps to rectify it The value of having a clear vision for all aspects of life A parenting strategy that balances between love and discipline How to transition from parenting to mentoring as children grow up Reasons why intentional parenting is crucial in children's lives     Resources Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy | Kindle, Paperback, and Hardcover Parenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay | Kindle and Hardcover How to Really Love Your Child by Ross Campbell | Kindle and Paperback LifeFocus Kit     About Michael and Gail Hyatt Michael Hyatt is the Founder and Chairman of Full Focus. He has scaled multiple companies over the years, including a $250M publishing company with 700+ employees and his own goal-achievement company. Under his leadership, Full Focus has been featured in the Inc. 5000 list of the fastest-growing companies in America and Inc.'s Best Work Places list.   He is also the author of several New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling books, including Your Best Year Ever, Free to Focus, Win at Work and Succeed at Life, and Mind Your Mindset. He has been married for over 45 years to his wife, Gail, and has five daughters and ten grandchildren.   Gail Hyatt is a mom to 5 extraordinary women, 3 amazing sons-in-law, & 10 fantastic grandchildren. She's been married to Michael Hyatt for over 45 years.     Connect with Michael and Gail Website: Full Focus Podcast: The Double Win Show | Apple Podcasts and Spotify Instagram: @michaelhyatt | @gailhyatt     Connect with Us To learn more about us, visit our website at www.18summers.com or email us at info@18summers.com. To get a copy of our book “The Family Board Meeting”, click here.   Subscribe to 18 Summers Podcast and leave a rating and written review!     Social Media Channels   Facebook Group: 18 Summers LinkedIn: Jimmy Sheils Instagram: @18summerstribe

The post How to Parent with Love and Logic with Dr. Foster Cline appeared first on Dr Robyn Silverman.

School days are upon us. The backpacks have been purchased and stocked. Lunch boxes have been prepared and a new pair of shoes await by the door. Hopefully, we've done everything we can to ensure a successful start to the school year.It can feel daunting to send our children out into the world without our guidance. We may have provided them with all the material tools, but what about instilling confidence and self-esteem? Can they handle feedback, correction, and consequences?Research on parenting styles is extensive. Although there may not be a “perfect” parenting style, there are certainly styles that encourage and some that diminish. Please join us as we discuss various parenting styles - what works and what doesn't.Show Notes and References:Parenting Teens with Love and Logic, Preparing Teens for Responsible Adulthood by Foster Cline, MD & Jim FayParenting Styles: What Parenting Style is Right for You?https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/parenting/what-parenting-style-is-right-for-youLawnmower Parents: What are They? www.WebMDLawnmower Parents: Definitionhttps://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/lawnmower-parent

How do I get my kids to listen?! It's no secret: getting kids to listen the first time is a huge point of interest for parents. It's the topic that most often brings people to me. Now, while there is no single good answer, there are a lot of things you can and should try, and I'll be introducing you to some ideas that I hope will help you on your quest for attentive children! I've sourced the title of this week's episode from Foster Cline and Jim Fay's book Parenting with Love and Logic, since I've found some of their methodology to be useful. As always, I encourage you to read the original material, test and see how you feel about what you've learned, and then decide whether you will use it in your own life. In this episode, I'll talk about the why and how of offering choices to children whenever possible. I'll discuss “code words” I use with Lily and Grady to help them be attentive when I need them to do something. I'll talk about win-win ways to reward your kids for overall good behavior while still retaining leverage to encourage them to listen. Perhaps most importantly, I'll discuss your children's greatest need: that you put your phone down and dedicate time to getting on their level, playing with them, and listening to them. Listening is a two-way street! As you engage with your children on their terms, and as you set healthy mutual expectations for your relationship, I guarantee you will all be more willing and able to listen to each other and have a happy experience within your four walls. You've got this! Check out our sponsor Herbal Face Food and support the show by clicking the link https://tinyurl.com/KellysFavoriteAntiAgingSerum and using the code Harmony20 at checkout for 20% off. Subscribe on Apple! Subscribe on Android! Join my FREE parenting bootcamp! Let's Connect! Here's where you can find me: Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com. Find me on Instagram! Find me on Facebook!

In today's episode, we'll explore the profound differences between rescuing and empowering those we care about. Inspired by a recent Instagram reel on why it's crucial not to rescue children from their problems, we'll dive into the principles of becoming codependent. We'll discuss the importance of allowing loved ones to face natural consequences, the role of self-esteem in recovery, and how these lessons apply to both parenting and personal growth. Join us as we share personal experiences, insights, and practical advice on fostering independence and resilience. "Christ Like Parenting: Taking the Pain Out of Parenting" book by Glenn Latham https://amzn.to/4cdnYRm "Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility" Book by Foster Cline and Jim Fay https://amzn.to/3XUbQR5 "How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics" By Al-Anon Family Groups https://amzn.to/4cz64Ii Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today is a solo episode that goes over the parenting stories and discoveries that I have uncovered over the many years I have been a mom, but mostly over the past few weeks. Being vulnerable and sharing stories is quite honestly, the best way to learn. I have had a rough few weeks with my kids, by just being challenged by them and tested by what I have learned and looked at over the course of my growth. I asked the Universe for help and low and behold every podcast I usually listen to, seemed to have a parenting theme. All the words spoken were essentially guided to my ears and I wanted to share it with you all. Here is a list of podcasts and books I have used for these specific resources:-Intuitive Astrology with Molly McCord-Sex w/ Emily Podcast "How to Raise Good Humans w/ Dr. Aliza Pressman-Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman "How to Become a Better Listener & Strengthen your Connections with your Kids w/ Lori Gottlieb-Huberman Lab Podcast "Dr. Becky Kennedy: Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds- "Good Inside" written by Becky Kennedy- "Atlas of the Heart" by Brene Brown- "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline- "The Transformative Power of Crisis: Our Journey to Psychological Healing & Spiritual Awakening" by Robert & Jane Alter@therealandiethueson-Human Design@thebeekeepersgranddaughter-Tallow LotionThanks for letting me share these stories. I hope it resonates. I appreciate you all so damn much. Cheers to this wild journey of parenting. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093675452578instagram.com/theenlightenedlensinstagram.com/averieraetiktok.com/@theenlightenedlens

How many times have you found yourself locked in a power struggle with your child over obedience? What if the secret to teaching obedience isn't about enforcing rules but about building relationships? In this episode, we unpack the art of instilling obedience in children, and it's not what you'd expect. I share personal experiences, tips on how to reframe situations for easier obedience, and how to get help from your support network.But it's not all about the challenges. We also delve into the joys of parenting - the process of building healthy, lifelong relationships with your kids while teaching them obedience. We talk about the importance of picking your battles wisely, responding to peer pressure, and extending grace. Plus, we discuss how to create an environment conducive to wise decision-making. And there's a bonus! You can download resources like obedience phrases, games, and book suggestions to make the task of teaching obedience easier and more enjoyable. Resources mentioned in the episode:Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim FayParenting is Heart Work by Scott Turansky"The Years Are Short" by Gretchen RubinTo download the handouts for this workshop visit:https://www.triumphantlearning.com/the-four-cs-of-obedience-how-to-make-learning-to-obey-fun/Until next time,CrystalSupport the show

For the past few years, 5th grade has been my sweet spot teaching religious school. To be honest, I think 10 is the perfect age. They're just beginning to think of themselves as individuals, and just beginning to access abstract thought. Because they're still kids, they haven't learned the teenage trick of looking bored and disconnected at all times. They'll squeal with delight when you share a cool story, and they are so full of energy and joy. I love teaching 5th grade. But this year, my class has put me to the test. Renowned child-psychiatrist, Foster Cline, used to say that any kid worth their salt will test your boundaries. Let's just say my class this year is worth a lot of salt. Teaching them feels like playing verbal whack-a-mole

Kris welcomes Jodi McMaster, an incredible innovator, teacher, and the force behind Circus Vowels. Jodi talks about how she created Circus Vowels to help kids learn to read in an intuitive and interactive way. She talks about the real-world success she's seen with the product and gives her advice on how you can add more value, celebrate the small wins, and play a bigger game. She and Kris also share some great takeaways on growth vs. fixed mindset and you will have to guess which one was able to fly at zero gravity without an issue!   Key Takeaways: [13:00] Jodi talks about how she saw the need to create a strategy for reading and comprehension that ultimately led to Circus Vowels. She innovated to create something that kept kids engaged and could easily help other kids learn. [13:54] If kids are engaged in their lesson and can move their bodies, they are going to learn and remember better than if they just had to sit still. If they can also teach others, they typically will remember 90% of what it is they taught. [18:29] Fun fact: Jodi is an adrenaline rush junkie, and she loves outdoorsy and sporty challenges (including a zero-gravity flight!). [20:50] Jodi talks about real-life tangible results from Circus Vowels, including her students growing an average of two years of reading growth in just one school year. [23:40] It's important to celebrate the small wins of children and show that you believe in them. [34:10] With reports now showing that 1 in 10 children can be diagnosed with dyslexia, why are innovations like Circus Vowels important?   Quotes: “I wanted to create a reading strategy that was relatable to kids.” — Jodi [13:33] “My feeling is if kids are engaged in the lesson and their bodies are part of the lesson, they're going to learn it.” — Jodi [13:54] “Students will remember 90% of what they can teach others.” — Jodi [14:10] “Kids just want to know that you believe in them.” — Jodi [23:40] “We just have to really be positive and celebrate them when we can for sure.” — Jodi [25:54]   Sponsored By: ChildCare Education Institute (CCEI) Use code CCSC5 to claim a free course!   Mentioned in This Episode: Kris Murray The Child Care Success Company The Child Care Success Academy The Child Care Success Summit Circus Vowels Jodi McMaster Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Bucket Fillers

A Conversation With Adoption Trauma Therapist, Jane Baker Hi Neighbor!⁣⁣⁣⁣ This is Part 2 of my interview with Jane Baker. If you haven't listened to Part 1, you can catch that in Episode 8. As an adoptive parent, there were many times I doubted myself. I thought I had failed my boys. That kind of thinking does not serve you or your family well. This episode is very TACTICAL. Jane will discuss treatment options for adoption trauma and some of the qualities you should look for in a therapist. All that and SO MUCH MORE! Hope and Healing are on the way. TAKEAWAYS… In some adopted children, you see a Pervasive Pursuit of Life on their terms. As a parent, tell your adopted child you understand WHY they behave the way they do. It's NOT okay but you understand. When you have more conflict in your home than you desire, the whole family needs o go to therapy. A therapist CAN NOT take you any further than they have been. When you've gotten to the place where you tried everything and you're not getting the result you need, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you as a parent. It means you need more tools in your toolbox. SHOW NOTES... Looking for a Therapist? Jane Baker, LICSW – Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker. Jane is a Master's Level Therapist. Other levels of Therapist Licensing, Masters and above: LISCW, LPC, or Doctorate Therapeutic approaches: Family Systems, Developmental Trauma, Individual Sessions, and Family Sessions Contact Jane Baker Website: Adoption Associates Email: jbaker@adoption-associates.com info@adoption-associates.com Phone: 1.256.353.8528  Websites: The Child Trauma Network The Attach Organization  Love and Logic  Books mentioned... Hope for Healing by the Attach organization Parenting With Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. Your Neighbor,⁣⁣⁣⁣ Tim⁣⁣⁣⁣ P.S. If this podcast has given you the courage and confidence to face storms in your life, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a written review on Apple Podcasts.  Tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot of this episode, share it in your Instagram stories, and tag me @TimMaudlin.  You can also connect with me on my free and private Facebook Group: Anchors of Encouragement Contact us: AnchorsOfEncouragement@gmail.com  

Sara Lynn Brennan is an award winning Entrepreneur, CEO and Principal Interior Designer at Sara Lynn Brennan Interiors, the first and only full-service interior design firm in Waxhaw, North Carolina who specializes in Transitional Design. Sara is also recognized as a visionary and innovator in the design industry for her unique and signature design processes and design service packages which have led to an explosive growth for her own business, as well as teaching and coaching opportunities in the industry. Sara is also one of the reasons I have a podcast!! We discuss Sara's experience with therapy and what she's implemented in her life and in business. We talk about her parenting style, motherhood, and how she's built her design business in just a few years. “I love therapy. To have one hour, uninterrupted, to share my life and get advice on things that aren't in a manual that I really need help with…I love it.” - Sara Lynn Brennan Links: Christie's Website Christie's Instagram: @sasssays Sara's Website Sara's Instagram: @saralynnbrennan A Well-Designed Business with LuAnn Nigara Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Scary Mommy Blog Previous Sass Says Shows Mentioned: Ep 63 LuAnn Nigara

What can you do when you constantly do the same "parenting fail" over and over? You lose confidence in your parenting skills, feel hopeless, and are stuck. What can help with these feelings is changing your mindset to view confidence as something that grows through experience as you overcome challenges. And having a clear vision of what you want to accomplish as a parent can build your confidence, which you can impart to your kids. You have to be confident to instill confidence in your kids. In today's episode, we talked with clinical mental health counselor Scott McConnell about the challenges of building confidence and how that affects how we parent our kids. --------------- To learn more about building confidence, Scott suggests the following books: No drama discipline by Dan Siegel The whole-brainchild by Dan Siegel & Tina Bryson Parenting with love and logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay Brainstorm: the power and purpose of the teenage brain by Dan Siegel How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/everydaystrong/message

How can we help our daughters when they struggle with perfectionism? Body image? Negative self-talk? How can we help our daughters set boundaries and identify toxic friendships? We're in our Grace in Parenting series, and we're talking all about raising daughters with Licensed Professional Counselor, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert. (We talk so much in fact, that this one conversation spans two podcast episodes!) In this episode, Michelle: How to help your daughter stand up to a culture of mean, What to do when your daughter suffers from negative self-talk, Tools to help your perfectionistic child. Key Quotes “When we speak truth in love, it's not a mandate that we speak truth to every human.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “You keep going even though your daughter rolls her eyes. She'll probably sigh too.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “Your daughter is watching you.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “Wanting and needing your child to be an extension of you is narcissism.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “When it comes to perfectionism, we first model excellence, humility, and transparency.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “If it has to be perfect, it's a problem. If you like it to be perfect, you might be made like that.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “Our kids cannot be driven by the fear of failure.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “The world is telling our kids you cannot afford a mistake. One thing on social media will destroy your career. One grade will destroy you. Those are lies. God can overcome anything.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “The minute our girls start being critical of themselves, we need to teach them what God says about them and then we need to teach them how to retrain their brains against what the world is telling them.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “The prayers of God's people in the spiritual battle are so significant.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “There are some things our daughters are not going to learn under our roof.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “Be around people who are honest with their struggles.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert “We are not really great friends until both of us have messed up and we have forgiven each other.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Melissa Spoelstra Raising Mentally Healthy Kids: Treating your child's diagnosed eating disorder Becoming a Friend and a Lover by Dick Purnell For all Michelle's media appearances + podcast episodes About Michelle Nietert Michelle has been a licensed professional counselor for over 25 years and is the co-author of the award-winning book Loved and Cherished: 100 Devotions for Girls and Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life.  She leads a team of counselors as the clinical director of Community Counseling Associates in the Dallas, Texas area.  She is a frequent guest on national television and podcasts, including her own podcast: Raising Mentally Healthy Kids.  She and her husband Drew have been married for almost two decades and are raising two school-aged children.  Here's how to connect with Michelle Website Instagram Facebook Twitter Podcast Here's how to connect with Jill Website  GraceInRealLifePodcast.com  Instagram  Facebook group  Facebook page Subscribe to Jill's weekly “the good + the grace” email 

Do you have a rhythm of rest in your home?  Do you have a day where you slow down, stop, and enjoy all the things God has provided for you? Do you practice the Sabbath? I am so excited to have Clayton Greene and Chris Pappalardo back on the podcast and they are going to tell us about their new product, The Sabbath Box. It is so great, and I cannot wait for them to share how it works. I know, for me, I definitely need help in this area on slowing down, resting, and really enjoying God's creation, so I think you are going to learn so much from them.   Also, we end the podcast talking a little about Father's Day, and they share their words of wisdom on being a dad. I cannot wait for you to hear the truth they share. Here is a link to Episode 37, the Father's Day episode with my dad. Also, I am so excited for someone to win a Sabbath Box. All the details of the book giveaway are on my website at jodirosser.com or you can click this direct link: https://kingsumo.com/g/93yfyd/sabbath-box-giveaway It is fun to have Chris and Clayton back on the Podcast! If you missed my first conversation with them about their Advent Blocks, please check out Episode 109 on the Depth Podcast. These Advent Blocks help remind your children of the true meaning of Christmas, and they are phenomenal. Book Recommendations: *Give Them Grace by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson *Playing God by Andy Crouch *Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay *Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley *Understanding Your Young Teen by Mark Oestreicher (Check out Depth Podcast Episode 14 to hear more about the book) *Rest & Reflect by Rachel Fahrenbach (Check out Depth Podcast Episode 89 to hear more about the book) At GoodKind, they are committed to helping people start—and continue—practices that draw them to God and to one another. They want to help people practice their faith by having meaningful moments with their families. They started out by creating Advent Blocks, a 25-day Christmas practice for the whole family. Now, they're providing tools that help you develop the GoodKind of habits and holiday celebrations throughout the entire year.  Learn more at their website, goodkind.shop.  Here is a direct link to the Sabbath Box. *Note: If you are interested in purchasing this book or the books recommended, I would love for you to use the Amazon Affiliate link above to help support the podcast. Thank you!

Georgine Muntz is the CEO and Strategic Advisor of Visual Matrix, a software development company that provides an all-in-one property management system for the hospitality industry. They serve over 2,000 properties across 30 countries. As the company's CEO and Strategic Advisor, Georgine drives innovation and growth strategies that create long-term value and build mission-critical partnerships. Georgine joins me today to discuss how founders can create value in their business and the value of having an advisor when planning to exit. She shares her academic background and why she shifted from accounting to tech. She explains some of the critical questions founders should ask themselves before selling their company. Georgine also describes the gender differences in pursuing professional goals and how companies can incorporate a rich culture of diversity.   "It's important to understand that creating independence is the way to create value in your business." - Georgine Muntz   This week on Priorities Lifestyle: When Georgine sold her company and the ventures she's moved forward with Why Georgine shifted from accounting to systems and tech The value of hiring an advisor when selling a business Questions founders should answer if they want to sell their business Why you should let your employees do bad deals Some of the common pitfalls founders make when selling their business Investing in people to make more money Silver linings Georgine found during Covid-19 How men and women differ in pursuing goals Why it's a tough time to be in any role in business How to be more inclusive without looking like you're pandering   Resources Mentioned: Book: Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) by Foster Cline   Our Favorite Quotes:   "Learn to speak about anything you do in a way that is easily identifiable with the success of the business." - Georgine Muntz "Every company has a different working capital number - Rob Schulz "If you don't have something on the other side you can get excited about, you might hang on too hard." - Rob Schulz     Connect with Georgine Muntz: Visual Matrix Visual Matrix on LinkedIn Georgine Muntz on LinkedIn Email: gmuntz@hotmail.com   About Rob Schulz and P&L Podcast The P&L Podcast is a show for business owners. In each episode, host and financial planner Rob Schulz sits down with business owners and the professionals that serve them to talk about business building, life, money — and the all-important transition out of the business, which inevitably happens to everyone who has ever founded a company.    Email Rob at rob.schulz@schulzwealth.com with questions, comments, and to schedule a one-on-one conversation.    Follow Rob on LinkedIn. Follow Schulz Wealth on Facebook   Order Rob's book, Thoughts on Things Financial, on Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iBooks | Kindle   Subscribe here: Apple Podcast  Spotify Google Podcasts Stitcher Audible    And, if you enjoy the show, please leave a review on iTunes to help others discover the podcast.

How do I get my kids to listen?! It's no secret: getting kids to listen the first time is a huge point of interest for parents. It's the topic that most often brings people to me. Now, while there is no single good answer, there are a lot of things you can and should try, and I'll be introducing you to some ideas that I hope will help you on your quest for attentive children! I've sourced the title of this week's episode from Foster Cline and Jim Fay's book Parenting with Love and Logic, since I've found some of their methodology to be useful. As always, I encourage you to read the original material, test and see how you feel about what you've learned, and then decide whether you will use it in your own life. In this episode, I'll talk about the why and how of offering choices to children whenever possible. I'll discuss “code words” I use with Lily and Grady to help them be attentive when I need them to do something. I'll talk about win-win ways to reward your kids for overall good behavior while still retaining leverage to encourage them to listen. Perhaps most importantly, I'll discuss your children's greatest need: that you put your phone down and dedicate time to getting on their level, playing with them, and listening to them. Listening is a two-way street! As you engage with your children on their terms, and as you set healthy mutual expectations for your relationship, I guarantee you will all be more willing and able to listen to each other and have a happy experience within your four walls. You've got this! Subscribe on Apple! Subscribe on Android! Join my FREE parenting bootcamp! Let's Connect! Here's where you can find me: Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com. Find me on Instagram! Find me on Facebook!

This week the hosts replay one of the early episodes about Discipline. The Christmas season is a great time to refresh your discipline strategies. Resources used in this episode: Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Amazon Link - https://amzn.to/3oDynfn Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, by Becky Bailey Amazon Link - https://amzn.to/3asvTeT Conscious Discipline website: https://consciousdiscipline.com/ Parenting is Heart Work, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joann Miller Amazon Link - https://amzn.to/3jbv8ux Resource website: Biblicalparenting.org Motivate Your Child, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joann Miller Amazon Link -https://amzn.to/2Lg6Q6g

Should I rescue my child from money mistakes? Dr. Foster Cline, Adult and Child Psychologist and author of, Parenting with Love and Logic, joins us to discuss his concepts to teach children from a young age the value of money. Dr. Cline proposes we give our children responsibility with their money and allow them to make mistakes from which to learn and grow. Listen as we provide examples from our own lives on how to raise financially responsible children. This could provide you with the answer to your child and money worries!   ASK A QUESTION Send your questions about taxes, investing, extra money, retirement, college and financial parenting to podcast@physicianfamily.com or call the Physician Family Answer Line at (503) 308-8733.   IN THIS EPISODE   [01:30] Introduction to Dr. Foster Cline and his book, Parenting with Love and Logic. [03:38] Dr. Cline's idea that in order to teach your children life lessons, that you as a parent should take thoughtful and reasonable risks to allow your children to fail. [08:00] Dr. Cline gave his children a small allowance and allowed them to spend as they saw fit to learn the importance of money from an early age. [14:30] How to frame choices and teach your children to make decisions on their own at different developmental milestones. [19:00] How to implement love and logic when your children are older that provides them more responsibility and how that can build on your parent/child relationship. [24:00] The importance as a parent to not appear perfect to your children. Dr. Cline encourages you to share financial mistakes you've made with your children and how you learned from those mistakes. [29:00] Advice on how to model the behavior and maintain a positive relationship with finances in front of your kids. [35:00] Should you rescue your child from their financial mistakes?   LINKS MENTIONED   Parenting With Love and Logic - https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Love-Logic-Updated-Expanded/dp/1576839540 Dr. Cline's Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/foster.cline.12   BIO   Foster Cline is an adult and child psychiatrist, Founder with Jim Fay of the Love and Logic Institute and author of many books and articles on Parenting. PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC BOOKS have sold over a million copies and have been translated into 6 languages. It is in its 36th printing and 3rd edition. Dr Cline has given workshops in almost all states and in most Western and Latin American Countries. He is retired and living with his wife of 61 years. His grandchildren now have their own Podcast on parenting. NUCLEAR PARENTING available on any podcast playlist.   NOTICE   Physician Family Financial Advisors Inc., a registered investment advisor, has reasonable belief that the information and content as a whole does not include any false or materially misleading statements or omissions of facts regarding services, investments, or client experience. Information presented is for educational purposes only and does not intend to make an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies.  Investments involve risk and unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Information expressed does not take into account the specific situation or objectives of individuals and is not intended as recommendations appropriate for all individuals. Listeners are encouraged to seek advice from a qualified tax, legal, or investment adviser to determine whether any information presented may be suitable for their specific situation.  Past performance is not indicative of future performance.

“The stronger the winds, the deeper the roots and the more beautiful the tree. Don't take away their wind.” -Dean Katris A trainer of 22 years, Dean Katris is an expert in not only teaching leadership, but living it out himself everyday. In this episode, we chat with Dean about his passion for leadership, his involvement in the leadership program, U & Improved, and how you can raise your kids/students to be leaders in today's world! Tune in to hear more from Dean and see below for a full list of topics covered. Key Topics Covered in This Episode: A little background on Dean and his title of “Master Trainer” What “U & Improved” is and how to get involved How Dean got on the path of leadership His typical client Dean's advice for how to handle the negative implications of social media Why it's GOOD for your kids to feel pressure His advice & resources for parents The issue of generational labeling (millennials, boomers, etc.) Resources Mentioned: “Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid without Losing Your Mind” by Michael J. Bradley “Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility” by Foster Cline and Jim Fay “Permission to Screw Up: How I Learned to Lead by Doing (Almost) Everything Wrong” by Kristen Hadeed and Simon Sinek Connect with the guest: U & Improved Instagram Connect with the hosts: Learning Reimagined Podcast Instagram Allison's Instagram Sandy's Instagram AdvantagesDLS Instagram

The "Off the Page" Book Club is a long-standing club that was formed by students at Northwest Christian High School in Phoenix, Arizona.  As an offshoot of the club, this podcast, presented by Frameworks, will feature various hosts--faculty, students, and sometimes both--as they work through various fiction and non-fiction books and consider the topics, characters, content, and plots through the lens of a Biblical worldview.After finishing "Beyond Biblical Integration", by Dr. Roger Erdvig and published by Summit Ministries, Off the Page is moving to "Parenting with Love and Logic", a book on parenting strategies by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.  For more information on the book or to place an order for the book, please visit this website.In today's episode, Dawna Underwood, Northwest Christian's Elementary Principal and Early Education Director, is joined by Tyler and Tammy Collins.  Tyler, who teaches Sophomore Bible, is the chair of the Bible Department at Northwest Christian.  From her position in the school office, Tammy provides administrative support and leadership across the campus.The strategies presented within the book are part of the classroom management and disciplinary plans employed in the Early Education program and primary grades at Northwest Christian.  For more information on Northwest Christian School, please visit NCSaz.org.The "Off the Page Book Club" is part of Frameworks, a Biblical worldview initiative of Northwest Christian School.  For more information on Frameworks, please visit Frameworks.NCSaz.org.

The "Off the Page" Book Club is a long-standing club that was formed by students at Northwest Christian High School in Phoenix, Arizona.  As an offshoot of the club, the podcast will feature various hosts--faculty, students, and sometimes both--as they work through various fiction and non-fiction books and consider the topics, characters, content, and plots through the lens of a Biblical worldview. After finishing "Beyond Biblical Integration", by Dr. Roger Erdvig and published by Summit Ministries, Off the Page is moving to "Parenting with Love and Logic", a book on parenting strategies by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.  For more information on the book or to place an order for the book, please visit this website.In today's episode, Dawna Underwood, Northwest Christian's Elementary Principal and Early Education Director, is joined by accomplished NCS Fourth Grade Teacher, Krissy Miller.The strategies presented within the book are part of the classroom management and disciplinary plans employed in the Early Education program and primary grades at Northwest Christian.  For more information on Northwest Christian School, please visit NCSaz.org.The "Off the Page Book Club" is part of Frameworks, a Biblical worldview initiative of Northwest Christian School.  For more information on Frameworks, please visit Frameworks.NCSaz.org.

When her 6 children in her beautiful blended family started telling other moms to try Parenting with Love and Logic, Michelle knew she hit gold. I am so excited to share this episode with you, Be You Collective!   Michelle Rogers, our guest today, is a Canadian mom, wife, and owner of a multi-million dollar health and wellness franchise. Today she shares with us what drove her to choose Parenting with Love and Logic four years ago and the amazing changes she has seen not only in her children, but in herself and her marriage. When you improve one area of your life, it can improve others and Michelle demonstrates that for us today.   Show Notes: [3:01] - Michelle has a blended family of 6 children. She noticed that the energy was very chaotic and knew she needed to shift parenting styles. [3:57] - For Michelle, she found that she was more inconsistent and her biological children tended to be the resistant and challenging ones. Overall, men tend to be more logical parents. [4:48] - Michelle read the book Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and shares the beginning story that had a huge impact on her as a reader. [6:06] - When Michelle read the first part of the book, she immediately felt connected and knew that it would be a powerful shift. Her friends and family took notice and asked what she was doing differently. [7:14] - Jill had a really great experience with raising her teenagers, but does share the little frustrations and rules she has with her children. [9:23] - Parenting with Love and Logic is letting your kids experience the logical consequences of their own choices on a daily basis. It’s allowing them to have low cost consequences instead of high cost consequences when it’s too late. [10:01] - Michelle shares a low cost consequence example and how a Love and Logic parent would react with empathy and support. [11:34] - Before Parenting with Love and Logic, Michelle’s children didn’t listen and eventually had to resort to shouting. [12:09] - Michelle illustrates how discipline looks in her household now. [13:29] - You have to approach consequences with empathy. Don’t be tempted by sarcasm. [15:56] - In the beginning, change is uncomfortable for everybody. Depending on the age of your children, they will react differently. You have to stick to your guns and continue to apply empathy. [17:18] - Using examples of high cost consequences you’ve experienced with your children is impactful as well. [19:05] - Michelle shares that some of the consequences will break your heart, but there’s no way out of it for her children. But through this parenting style, children will learn that their consequences are due to their choices. [20:42] - The first few times, you’re going to have to be strong because it is for their benefit. Remember, they are choosing the consequence. [21:40] - Jill admits that she was very militant as a mom and shares how strict she was. [23:19] - How we parent is the embodiment of how we treat ourselves. [24:41] - This technique was so powerful for Michelle and her family, that her stepchildren went to their own moms and asked them to buy Love and Logic to implement because it works so well for them. [26:09] - Michelle realized that her original parenting style wasn’t respectful for herself and her children.  [27:06] - After reading the book and starting to implement this parent style, it even has had a positive impact on her marriage. [29:08] - During a fit of emotion, Michelle hugs her children tight and puts the consequence on hold until they can calm down but knows that they don’t want to act that way. [30:13] - When you improve yourself in one area of your life, it will improve other areas as well. [31:29] - Once her husband noticed that Michelle’s parenting was so easy, he bought the book as well. [35:37] - Michelle shares her story on how she has grown and improved her life. [37:06] - Michelle admits that everyone has a dark and light side and you have to accept both sides. She says to acknowledge the dark passenger but don’t feed it. I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is. Thank you for being here today with me on our healing journeys. Links and Resources: Be You Home Page Jill Herman on Instagram Be You Collective on Facebook   Don’t forget to download your free ebook to help you discover how to live a life of POWER, FREEDOM, and JOY! Be You and Break Free From the Opinions of Others by Jill Herman   Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline   Michelle Rogers on Instagram Michelle Rogers on Facebook

Today we are talking all about parenting tips. Parenting can be a major marriage tension or a major distraction for a lot of marriages. Today Dr. Kim and Christina take some time to share tips that have made our life easier and our marriages better for each stage of parenting.   We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage!  Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox!    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  Resources:    Use our 100 Questions To Get You On The Same Page: A Parenting Workbook to make sure you are on the same parenting page as your spouse.   Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay  The Learning About Sex book series for different ages and stages.  Don't Mom Alone Podcast  Some of Andy Stanley's sermon series are available as podcasts  Connected Families provides biblically-based mentoring to help families. Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here! Sign up to get Dr. Kim's One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email or text here!  

Today we are talking all about parenting tips. Parenting can be a major marriage tension or a major distraction for a lot of marriages. Today Dr. Kim and Christina take some time to share tips that have made our life easier and our marriages better for each stage of parenting.   We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage!  Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox!    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  Resources:    Use our 100 Questions To Get You On The Same Page: A Parenting Workbook to make sure you are on the same parenting page as your spouse.   Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay  The Learning About Sex book series for different ages and stages.  Don’t Mom Alone Podcast  Some of Andy Stanley’s sermon series are available as podcasts  Connected Families provides biblically-based mentoring to help families. Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here! Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email or text here!  

dadAWESOME   We're on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We're passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God's awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Jon Tyson   Jon Tyson is a Pastor and Church Planter in New York City. Originally from Adelaide, Australia, Jon moved to the United States twenty years ago with a passion to seek and cultivate renewal in the Western Church. He is the author of Rumors of God, Sacred Roots, A Creative Minority, The Burden is Light, and Beautiful Resistance. For the last 15 years Jon has lived in Manhattan with his family. He serves as the Lead Pastor of Church of the City New York.   Conversation Notes:   2:07 - Statement from a friend who works at Barna that heavily influenced Jon's life, "The church has basically reached a point of irreversible decline statistically,  and by radical discipleship of our children, what would be described as a historic revival the church is beyond human turnaround. So it's going to take an act of God and radical discipleship for our kids." 3:19 - "The summer of covid-19 has probably been the hardest season of my life, but I've seen the greatest answers to prayer in my entire life this summer as well." 3:35 - Thoughts on personal prayer life and for our kids. "Intercessory prayer for the places that we live, having a sense of call to shape a place through prayer, those are sort of the huge passions of my life and I think it's the number one thing most people want to do, but don't know how to do. And it's the thing the enemy attacks the most because it's where all the power and fruit lie." 4:33 - How to coach our kids to pray? Make Jesus as compelling as possible. Also, stewarding your own life of prayer and sharing those answers with your kids. And make prayer fun. "The goal of prayer is to get your kids to love Jesus and I think when you're a kid, making prayer as enjoyable as possible and having consistency over intensity." Video Link -"Teach Your Children to Pray" with Dr. David Ireland -- We pray that these resources will be an encouragement and help to you as you guide your children in learning to speak with God! Thank you all so much for taking your time and resources to invest in your children in this way. I am confident that the Lord is going to raise up incredible disciples because of the way you are all sewing into your children's lives and faith! 6:31 - Dr. David Ireland. Jon Tyson's coach. 7:02 - Thoughts on having a coach, finding a coach, and what Jon has learned from that relationship and how it's changed his life. 9:22 -  Reasons to have a coach - "I think everybody needs someone older speaking into what they do. It's it's quite often in midlife...you've got enough success, you've sort of built your own coping mechanisms, tactics... you're kind of like 'I can just keep it going... I've built a life [and] I can probably manage this thing out,' and I was just like I need to get better. The future's changing and as things grow I need to be more agile, so I need to get a different toolkit." 11:38 - How to recognize a mentor? "I think... we all need to know what are we deeply called to, and then we'll know when we have the right person to speak into our lives." 11:55 - The Primal Path: Raising a Son of Consequence  13:28 - Sharing about writing meaningful letters to important people in our life. 14:04 - His son's voluntary expression of gratitude and how it impacted him. 15:05 - Writing a letter to his dad to share with him what he got right. 16:04 - Richard Rohr - "Whatever pain is not transformed is transmitted."  "We tend to break our kids in the same place that we are broken because we don't know a way through it." 18:00 The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me by Bruce Feiler  19:03 - The World Race 19:08 - Sharing about the experience for his son. "I wanted him in this liminal space. My goal was to irreparably break his heart for the poor of the world so he'd never just be a spoiled, complacent American ever - He'd always be haunted, because those years are so formative... I just wanted to get in there, God's heart for the poor." 20:00 - Book: The compound effect. 20:25 - Sharing the story of his son's finishing The Primal Path with a 33 day hike across Spain 22:08 - Parenting through social contracts - agreements around responsibilities, rights and privileges. Inspired by Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families  24:43 - Book: Parenting With Love And Logic by Foster Cline  25:30 - "We have a responsibility to take the beauty of Jesus and make him come alive in our kid's hearts." 26:08 - The Primal Path. "The missing piece in modern culture, designed to help you walk a kid from adolescence into adulthood." 27:25 - "Designed to create a sacred relationship and a  sacred journey between his father and his kids to help them get into adulthood....if you don't initiate your kids and take them on a journey, they will self-initiate, often through tremendous harm, or the culture will initiate them....it's basically who's going to design the pathway of helping your kids figure out life? 28:15 - "I'm trying to disrupt toxic masculinity and reclaim as normal a formation pathway from adolescence into manhood." 28:35 - Pathway for his daughter - "50 Pieces of My Heart: 50 key deposits every father needs to make in his daughter's life." 29:02 - Jon's next book, Intentional Father, Outlines five kinds of dads: Irresponsible dads - come in, get out, do nothing Ignorant dads - don't know what they are doing and do damage Inconsistent dads - torn with their own ambitions - often absent Involved dads - our culture's version of a great dad Intentional Father - believes it's the primary responsibility and builds a pathway based on who those kids are 30:40 - Sermon series around Altars. Message about the Home 31:00 - Most recent book: The Beautiful Resistance  - Being a dad of conviction vs. compromise. "Part of it comes with a sense of sort of working through your own drama... and figuring out what it is that God's given you, understanding what faithfulness to Jesus looks like, and then fundamentally breaking the fear of man... I'm not going to give an account to our culture for my life, I'm going to give an account to Jesus and there's joy in having convictions and there's joy in keeping them." 32:34 - "Work out the convictions that God puts in your heart, convictions about discipleship, and then just don't care what people think. And it takes a lot of work and maintenance to not care what people think. And then to raise kids who are not controlled by the fear of man or the culture. You can't impart that if you don't have that. So there's a lot of soul work that you need to do to understand your own values and your own convictions and then be willing to literally go to war for them." 35:23 - "Maintain the emotional bond with your kid. Kids come out of the womb with an emotional bond. Cultivate it. Keep it. That's the most important principle. So whenever you want to do any of these things, there's a connection where they trust you and they see that it's worth it."   Conversation Links:   The Primal Path Course - Raise a son of consequence The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character (available Father's Day 2021) Beautiful Resistance: The Joy of Conviction in a Culture of Compromise Jon's Altars Series: The Heart The Home The Church The City Jon Tyson Instagram Twitter Church of the City New York

This episode is the second half of our conversation focused on the challenging emotional barriers many bio-parents face in blended families. Often these barriers lead to a dynamic called a parent-child allegiance.If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 59 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll talk about moving beyond those barriers and breaking free of parent-child allegiances.And in the coming weeks, keep an eye out for our upcoming discussion around the 'easy wrong turns' that step-parents can make in this challenging dynamic — plus some practical steps that can help both of you work together and overcome a parent-child allegiance.In This Episode You'll Discover:Two motivating factors that helped Kim move beyond guilt and fearHow authoritative skill building can boost confidence to help overcome parental insecurities — and reclaim parental authorityThe importance of courageously taking short-term risks that'll result in long-term benefits The problem with comparing and ranking "Love" - and how to handle it wellPractical steps to identify and capture emotional barriers and move forward Resources from this Episode:Episode 49: Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?BOOK: The Smart Stepfamily by Ron DealBlog: How to Move Beyond Painful Guilt and RegretBlog: Two Simple Steps to Move Past Paralyzed ParentingBOOK: Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline & Jim FayOnline Resources, Classes & Webinars: Parenting with Love & Logic Episode 4: Can you overcome your parenting-style differences? Blog: How to Parent as a Team and Steer Clear of Power Struggles Subscribe & Review in Apple PodcastsAre you subscribed to our podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple PodcastsNow if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)

We all need a therapist... If you don’t have one you’ll probably be fine...but you will be slower. Slower to grow, slower to understand, slower to succeed. This week’s guest is Lee Long. He’s been the main catalyst to my growth in the past 5 years. I’ve spent hundreds of hours with this man and it has changed my life. We touch on a wide variety of topics including business, marriage, depression, and endurance running. You’ll get the inside scoop on why 3rd party help has expedited all things valuable in my life.With over twenty years of clinical experience, Lee has worked with many adults, couples, adolescents, and families. His experiences range from working with adolescents in juvenile detention programs, Counseling Director of a residential treatment program, psychiatric hospitals, and private practice.Lee works with individuals who deal with addictions, mental health issues, relational struggles within the family, and more. He helps families re-establish relationships and married couples rekindle their love and commitment.Lee is a Licensed Professional Counselor and supervisor in the state of Texas. He is certified in Cognitive Behavioral Analysis Systems of Psychotherapy (CBASP), an evidence-based approach, developed by Dr. James McCullough, to treat chronic depression. He is also intensively trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Lee is currently completing his doctorate in counseling with an emphasis in traumatology. His dissertation involves Cognitive Behavioral Analysis Systems of Psychotherapy and why it is effective.He’s an avid runner and has run 8 marathons and a couple of ultras and actually did a 50k on a Woodway treadmill.Useful Links:Restoration CounselingThe Meaning of Marriage by Tim KellerParenting With Love And Logic by Foster Cline

I am sure that I will say this about a lot of people I interview, but I am over the moon excited for you to listen to the interview today!  My guest and I share so many thoughts and ideas about family and life in general, but she will immediately make you feel comfortable and as if you have known her for years.  I am so so very thankful that I have had the opportunity to meet such a charismatic and caring woman.  She is one of those people that is just genuinely her warm, wonderful and positive self and is full of passion for helping others. So without further delay, meet Brandee. She is a family success coach as well as a behavioral consultant, parent-educator, volunteer extraordinaire, blogger and budding author. She loves making connections, reflecting upon life, and sharing it with others. Helping people navigate the complexities of parenting, managing a kiddo with special needs, or stepping into their own greatness, is where she SHINES.  And she always seeks the lessons from each and every experience and is one who strongly believes in owning your OWN IMPACT. To this end, she aspires to help others find the joy, meaning and deep connectedness in their innermost circles with whom they share their most intimate life  experiences~their family.   Her life's purpose is to LOVE her people fiercely, as her children are her LEGACY to this world. She wears that responsibility like a prideful ribbon. Her secondary purpose is to be a sharer of the wisdom she gleans along the way. Providing insight and inspiration to help others UP their personal and parenting GROWTH GAME. Her greatest hope is to be a guiding light for those that are seeking clarity, connection and community as they find their own personal formula for fulfillment. To help them release the daily chaos and find their FLOW.   Brandee is thrilled to be pouring into all of you today! Enjoy the interview!   Recommended books: Raising your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown Top 3 takeaways You have to make priorities because if we are focused on everything, we are focused on nothing. That negative energy that is created will spill into all areas of your life. Instead, purposely set up your child's day for success and it will be a win for both of you. Focus on the strengths of your child and avoid comparing your child to all the other kids. Ask yourself why you want your child to be like everyone else.  You will open up an opportunity to connect with you kids when you focus on your child's strength, because we don't need to “fix” our children. Trust your gut and follow through on those feelings. This flows right into the idea to never stop advocating for your child (and then down the road teach your child how to advocate for your child).  You know your child and you need to voice what you feel like your child needs by being an active member of the team, because you are the expert on your child! You can find Brandee at: https://brandeelandblossoms.com/ where they can access information about my Surviving to Thriving and Full Circle Living Coaching Programs and a soon to be released membership program Her private Facebook Community – Purposeful Parenting for Moms with Extraordinary Children

Ben Greenfield is a biohacker, ironman triathlete and the CEO of Kion Supplements. He’s also the New York Times bestselling author of “Beyond Training”. In this episode of Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu, they talk about the best biohacks for longevity, raising a family, and the importance of connection. SHOW NOTES Are we actually living longer than our ancestors? [01:14] The benefits of stressing your body [03:46] Simulating what the blue zones are doing right [05:58] Why antioxidants are bad for you, at the wrong time [11:20] The best exercise for longevity [14:21] Why fitness has become a new rite of passage [20:33] Ben’s new Everest [23:20] Why Ben is taking his kids on a vision quest [24:25] The real reason Ben doesn’t have strict rules at home [28:21] How to use plant medicines responsibly [33:39] How men can improve their sexual performance [39:01] The craziest “biohacker” thing Ben has ever done [41:56] Why you should be able to name your purpose succinctly [47:47] The one thing you should do to improve your health [51:24] DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: Beyond Training by Ben Greenfield: https://amzn.to/2swwfvu Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay: https://amzn.to/2SZ7bJ8 The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Maltak Chia: https://amzn.to/2MfH12n Secrets of the Superhuman Food Pyramid by Ben Greenfield: https://amzn.to/2STZbJb FOLLOW BEN GREENFIELD WEBSITE: https://bit.ly/2yJvqR8 PODCAST: https://apple.co/1lYTUaI INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/2O2gFkL FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/2muYJTc

Beril Ozay is a dually certified child life specialist and a recreational therapist. Beril told stories about her work as an infant and toddler development specialist and managing behavioural issues with teenagers. She also shared her knowledge on utilizing community and social resources for parents who seek to educate themselves about parenting strategies and engage in self-development activities. Beril is very animated and passionate in imparting her expertise and welcomes anyone to contact her through her facebook page entitled Recreation Therapy RX to ask her questions about child development and behaviour management. Beril recommends the following parenting resources: The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Thanks for dropping by. For comments/questions/concerns, you may contact the host, James Deas, at james@gettingkidstolisten.com.

Today's guest is Mary Jordan, a homeschooling mom of 4 kids and one of Bonnie's close personal friends. Mary shares her heartbreaking and beautiful story of infertility including adoption, foster care, IVF and more, as well as some fantastic tips for taking charge of your household. If your role as a mom seems boring or uninspiring, Mary's take on life and motherhood will motivate you and make you cheer! We know you'll love her advice and attitude as much as we do. Follow along on Mary's parenting and IVF pregnancy journey via Instagram @somejordangoodnessTransforming the Difficult Child by Howard Glasser and Jennifer EasleyThe Child Whisperer by Carol TuttleParenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline & Jim FayWild at Heart by John Eldredge

Parenting with Love & Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline, M.D. LoveandLogic.com If you want a supportive place to chat with like-minded parents join my Present and Productive Parents Group on Facebook. If you like what you hear, please leave a rating and review on this podcast.   Links and Resources: Dr. Phil Boucher on Instagram @DrPhilBoucher on Twitter @DrPhilBoucher on Facebook Present and Productive Parents with Dr. Phil Boucher Group on Facebook Dr. Phil Boucher

Ana Bright tells a crazy story about being up all night every night on her honeymoon. And not for the reasons you might think! She is loving the book series Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay, a book called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber, and the book Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin. We also love the podcasts The Bible Recap and The Bible Binge. Get more of Ana at her blog, Grace and Glory Moms, and on her Grace and Glory Moms Facebook page! Subscribe to the Fancy Free Podcast so you don't miss an episode! Join the Fancy Free Facebook group and give us your answer to the question of the week! Follow Fancy Free Podcast on Instagram and Twitter. Have a great week and remember, NO ONE is as fancy as they look!  

Ego gets in the way of living our lives, often so effortlessly we barely even notice, until problems arise as they always doThe subject of ego is at the heart of Paul’s second Living 4D conversation with biohacker extraordinaire Ben Greenfield, as they wind their way through intuitive eating, lying, spiritual courage and their philosophies about free-range parentingCheck out Ben’s work and his podcasts at BenGreenfieldFitness.com and keep up with his updates about his upcoming book, Boundless. Ben is also the CEO and co-founder of Kion.Please Note: There has been some confusion about the Michelson-Morley experiment as Paul discussed it in the companion episode to this one on Ben’s podcast. Paul would like to clarify that the experiment did not validate the aether and he did not intend for it to sound as though the experiment did so on Ben’s podcast.Show Notes:How Paul developed butter espresso. (6:36)Paul describes intuitive eating. (11:28)Defining what angels and spirits really are. (17:47)Paul describes how he knows whether he should be eating a given food or not via his intuition. (24:13)The Michelson-Morley experiment. (31:46)What “junk” DNA really is. (41:01)Can people learn ego dissolution without the use of plant medicines? (47:16)Coffee, cigarettes and tea: How they influence the thinking process. (50:15)If you have food sensitivity issues, are you logging your foods? (55:58)“The body will not support a lie because, from an evolutionary perspective, it decreases survivability.” (1:02:55)Legitimate spiritual courage is required when you need to hear a no from your soul because you’re addicted to certain foods. (1:10:29)Paul’s approach to parenting Paul Jr. was informed by his relationship to his father and a drug-addicted sibling. (1:19:27)Balancing a child’s practical exposure to technology in their early education. (1:28:20)Paul facing a crisis of the soul with the possibility of Angie needing a second C-section. (1:38:37)A lot of illness in the today’s world is the result of listening to other people’s ideas for a direction and not taking back more responsibility for themselves. (1:45:32)ResourcesMissing Links with Gregg Braden on GaiaDestructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue With the Dalai Lama by Daniel GolemanStalking The Wild Pendulum: On the Mechanics of Consciousness by Itzhak BentovThe Physics of Angels: Exploring The Realm Where Science and Spirit Meet by Rupert Sheldrake and Matthew FoxThe Mystic Spiral: Journey of the Soul by Jill PurceThe work of Philip CallahanThe Second Mountain: The Quest For a Moral Life by David BrooksFalling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard RohrMan’s Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklThe work of Viktor SchaubergerParenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay

Back to school everybody! This week we’re starting out with a fun little Q&A with our two older girls Anabelle and Lyla, and then we dive into one of the most requested topics for our podcast: parenting. We’re sharing some of the most helpful books and resources and ideas we’ve picked up along the way from experts in the field of parenting, what REALLY works for us, and we end with our fail-proof source for parenting help and advice.   Show notes: Book: “Parenting with Love and Logic” by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Book: “Christlike Parenting” by Dr. Glenn I. Latham Simply on Purpose, Ralphie Jacobs (@simplyonpurpose) Instagram

This week we discuss discipline; being the police, "One, Two, Three, shoe!", and personalizing discipline for each child. Check out the book suggestions from this week's episode: "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline, MD & Jim Fay "Siblings Without Rivalry" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish 1st book club book : "Hair Story : Untangle the Roots of Black Hair in America" by Ayana Byrd & Lori Tharps

Shifra Klein is the former editor-in-chief at Joy of Kosher with Jamie Geller Magazine and Bitayavon. Together with her husband Shlomo, Shifra recently launched the much talked about Fleishigs magazine.   Each issue of Fleishigs is packed with easy to follow step by step recipes, beautiful photography, conversations and stories about today’s kosher foodies as well as information on exciting new trends, products and restaurants. Shifra lives with her husband, two sons and daughter in New York.   What you will hear in this episode: - We talk about how print magazine remains ever so relevant to the Kosher consumer since Shabbat is a day where one refrains from electronics. Shifra maintains that in general, in the food industry print magazines and books are on the rise. -Shifra discusses her vision and goal for the magazine. She wanted a storytelling element as well as informative articles that add value to a reader's  knowledge and cooking repertoire.  - Shifra's 3 key ingredients for success are: 1- hard work 2- persistence 3- planning what your success looks like and working towards it .  - We discuss the importance of remaining positive and enjoying the journey, the process, and even the challenges by looking at it as a learning experiences.  - Favorites: Book:  Parenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline ,MD & Jim Fay, Shifra is also looking forward to Adeena Sussman's  new cookbook  which should be due shortly  Dinner: Roast chicken and potatoes City: NYC Some favorite restaurants: Marani (Georgian cuisine), Boru Boru You can find Shifra at @shifraklein @fleishigsmag      

In this episode, Pam and Barb review a well-known book written originally in 1990 and updated in 2006: Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay. We give a summary of the book then dive into some of the specifics both that we found extremely helpful as well as those we found challenging to adapt for children with language processing and/or regulation needs.

If you've raised a toddler you know how difficult it can be navigating their mood swings, temper tantrums, and temperaments.  Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Karen Gentile sits down with Pediatrician Cathy DiVincenzo, MD to discuss discipline techniques.  Dr. DiVincenzo has 20 years of experience as a Pediatrician and also raised triplets!  She often lectures on the topic of discipline in our community and offers expert advice on how to tackle this difficult stage in parenting.  In this episode we discuss time-outs, time-ins, spanking, redirecting, speaking to your children, and the best techniques to avoid the dreaded public meltdown!  Resources: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Disciplining-Your-Child.aspx Books: Toddler 411, by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, MD Happiest Toddler on the Block, by Harvey Karp, MD Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline, MD and Jim Fay 1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting, by Thomas Phelan, PhD

In Episode 34, Brandon and Lauren discuss how to overcome your child's reluctance to eat the meat you've raised.  In doing so, they provide some helpful strategies to employ and explain why time is on your side.  They also explain: why it is no contradiction of the tenderness with which you raise your animals, to kill them; the inescapable truth that our lives come at a cost; and the belief that we should endeavor to deserve the gift of an animal's life, as well as honor it in the way we prepare its meat. Other topics include: the shelf-life of blood, whether you can freeze it; and a few stories from Brandon's recent slaughters of a large sow and a bloated sheep. Episode 35, our upcoming podcast, will cover butchery rationale. Introduction and Announcements: Help us produce four episodes a month by supporting us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/meatsmith. We have upcoming spring classes - including a new one just added for June! Videos on bacon mold and poultry harvesting (7-part series) now available on our Membership page. Our new Facebook forum will be rolling out soon! Meet and connect with new people! Access all of our past forum content - now in a topically-organized, searchable format! Part 1 Show Notes: Discussion on "use-by" date and freezing of blood, 3:54 Notes on Brandon's recent slaughters: Sow, 7:52 Bloated sheep, 11:51 Overcoming your children's reluctance to eat the meat you've raised, 14:39 Helping them to understand that it is no contradiction of the tenderness with which we raise our animals to kill them, 15:27 Patience is a virtue.... Tastes may change with age/maturity, 24:50 In time, the philosophy of the kill may come to be understood, 29:46 Start off with the more mildly-flavored cuts Attach the idea of the killing and eating of animals to more positive things, 38:19 Help him come to understand the cost of our lives, and endeavor to deserve the gift of the animal's life, Meat has become divorced from its origins "My life has no terrestrial cost" Part 2 Show Notes: Coming soon! Links for Episode 34: Circle Rock Ranch:  http://www.circlerockranch.com/ Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline: https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Love-Logic-Updated-Expanded/dp/1576839540      Links for Episode 35 coming soon!

[Warning] This episode contains explicit language and explicit themes. Listener discretion is advised. Breaking down their childhoods and relationships with parental units, Travis and Danny explore the difficulty of parenting. They discuss their parent's weaknesses, but also compliment the path their parents sent them on - good or bad. Along the way, Travis uses his review of one of the more practical and highly rated parenting 'how-to' guides to illustrate the need to placate emotion when parenting. Enjoy the boy's history, some sweet childhood memories, and some touching tales of the children in their family! Tune in every Tuesday for a new episode of The Broken Shelf. ~Follow all the Legionaries on Twitter~ Danny: twitter.com/legionsarchive The Tsar: twitter.com/TsarAlexander6 Allen: twitter.com/blkydpease Spangar: twitter.com/LSFspangar ~Credits~ Original Sound Cloud image provided by Love & Logic.com at www.loveandlogic.com/. Original cover art owned by im Fay, Foster Cline, loveandlogic.com, and NavPress Publishing. The Broken Shelf icon created and published by "The Broken Shelf" and Danny Archive. Podcast Opening recorded by Delayne Archive and edited by Danny Archive. Accompanying Opening music: Title - "Dreams Electric" Artist - Geographer Provided free from YouTube Audio Library Intro Song - "Mr. Sunny Face" Artist - Wayne Jones Provided free through YouTube's Audio Library. Interlude Song - "Brain Trust" Artist - Wayne Jones Provided free through YouTube's Audio Library. Outro Song - "Fun Activity Montage" Artist - Biz Baz Studio Provided free through YouTube's Audio Library. Podcast edited by Danny Archive using Audacity. Download Audacity here: https://www.audacityteam.org/ This podcast is fair use under U.S. copyright law because it is (1) transformative in nature, the audio is a journalistic commentary on popular media (2) uses no more of the original work than necessary for the podcast's purpose, the claimed duration is an edited clip for rhetoric, and (3) does not compete with the original work and could have no negative affect on its market. DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the materials (music/artworks). All rights belong to the original artists. If you are the content owner and want to remove it, please contact me at legionssoulfood@gmail.com. Thank you! ~Check out the Love and Logic website~ www.loveandlogic.com/ ~Do Us A Favor~ If you downloaded the podcast via anything else other than Sound Cloud, maybe check out our Sound Cloud, give us a follow, and listen to a few more of our other tracks. Sound Cloud was there from the beginning for us and no matter what the others provide it was and is our host. Thanks! Sound Cloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-377177156

There are so many things to consider when it comes to anticipating raising a child: will I ever sleep again? Will they be a picky eater? Will they be well behaved? Those are a few of the questions that went through my mind when I became a new mom. But when it comes to taking kids to the doctor, I didn't think there was much to it. I thought it was something parents just did. I didn't know my eyes would well with tears right alongside my toddler when the nurse administered him a shot, or what to say the next time when he asks if he has to get a shot again or even when he gets anxious just walking into the doctor's office remembering his experience from last time. Today's guest, Shannon Tripp, is a mother of four and passionate about educating parents in all things first aid and safety for children (https://www.shantripp.com/) . Shannon has been a pediatric nurse for more than 10 years, and today she shares a few simple tips to set our children up for success to have a positive experience at the doctor's office. She urges parents to: -pay attention to our own feelings and the words we use describing the doctor -validate our kids' feelings when they are scared -and tell them what to expect at a doctor's visit and what they have to look forward to after I love how Shannon says that she sees the doctor's office as "a place that gives parents opportunities to teach their children skills." I know this episode will help both you and your children be more at ease when anticipating a visit to the doctor.   Show Notes for Shannon Tripp's Podcast Episode:Instagram: @shan.tripp (https://www.instagram.com/shan.tripp/) Parenting with Love and Logic (https://amzn.to/2XCzb8i) by Foster Cline and Jim Fay My Utah workshop is SOLD OUT and I am blown away. If you are interested in attending, visit the HERE (https://3in30podcast.com/workshops/) . And for those who are unable to travel to Utah, I would like to know who is interested in an online version of the workshop. Visit 3in30podcast.com/workshops (https://3in30podcast.com/workshops/) to sign up for updates.

Ben Greenfield is a biohacker, ironman triathlete and the CEO of Kion Supplements.  He’s also the New York Times bestselling author of “Beyond Training”. In this episode of Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu, they talk about the best bio hacks for longevity, raising a family, and the importance of connection.   Check out our amazing sponsors! Thrive Market: Get 25% off your first order and a 30-day free trial at thrivemarket.com/health ButcherBox:  Use the discount code: "TOM" at butcherbox.com to get 20$ off and FREE BACON   SHOW NOTES Are we actually living longer than our ancestors? [01:14] The benefits of stressing your body [03:46] Simulating what the blue zones are doing right [05:58] Why antioxidants are bad for you, at the wrong time [11:20] The best exercise for longevity [14:21] Why fitness has become a new rite of passage [20:33] Ben’s new Everest [23:20] Why Ben is taking his kids on a vision quest [24:25] The real reason Ben doesn’t have strict rules at home [28:21] How to use plant medicines responsibly [33:39] How men can improve their sexual performance [39:01] The craziest “biohacker” thing Ben has ever done [41:56] Why you should be able to name your purpose succinctly [47:47] The one thing you should do to improve your health [51:24]   DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: Beyond Training by Ben Greenfield: https://amzn.to/2swwfvu Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay: https://amzn.to/2SZ7bJ8 The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Maltak Chia: https://amzn.to/2MfH12n Secrets of the Superhuman Food Pyramid by Ben Greenfield: https://amzn.to/2STZbJb   FOLLOW BEN GREENFIELD WEBSITE: https://bit.ly/2yJvqR8 PODCAST: https://apple.co/1lYTUaI INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/2O2gFkL FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/2muYJTc

Dr. Foster Cline is the co-author of the book Parenting with Love and Logic and co-creator of the Love and Logic parent training program that is used nationally. He graced Village Church with his wisdom and experience for nearly six hours, so we broke it into a four part series.

Dr. Foster Cline is the co-author of the book Parenting with Love and Logic and co-creator of the Love and Logic parent training program that is used nationally. He graced Village Church with his wisdom and experience for nearly six hours, so we broke it into a four part series.

Dr. Foster Cline is the co-author of the book Parenting with Love and Logic and co-creator of the Love and Logic parent training program that is used nationally. He graced Village Church with his wisdom and experience for nearly six hours, so we broke it into a four part series.

Dr. Foster Cline is the co-author of the book Parenting with Love and Logic and co-creator of the Love and Logic parent training program that is used nationally. He graced Village Church with his wisdom and experience for nearly six hours, so we broke it into a four part series.

Episode Notes: Lara talks with Physician Family financial advisor Ben Utley about how to best prepare our children to thrive as adults and make smart financial decisions.  About Ben Utley: Ben Utley believes it's our job, as parents, to prepare our kids for the challenges and opportunities of the real world. As a husband, father of two daughters and Certified Financial Planner™, he is passionate about helping physician families become financially stable so their kids can feel safe and reach their full potential. His firm, Physician Family Financial Advisors, makes it easy for busy parents married to doctors to save time and taxes while they pay off student loans, buy a home and set aside all the money they need for college and retirement.   With this deep specialization and more than 20 years serving physicians, he has seen just about every phase of the medical marriage from residency to retirement which must be why his work has caught the attention of Physician's Practice, The White Coat Investor and The New York Times.   Physician Family Financial Advisors   Books Mentioned in Episode:   Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence by Joe Dominguez Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Silver Spoon Kids : How Successful Parents Raise Responsible Children by Eileen Gallo and Jon Gallo How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny

Holly Thurgood is a stay at home mother of seven.  She is a trained Parenting With Love and Logic Facilitator.  Parenting with Love and Logic is a parenting philosophy founded by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.  Parents who use the Love and Logic approach can help their children to be accountable for their choices.  This philosophy encourages parents to disengage from confrontation and allow the kids to come up with solutions for their own problems.  It also gives parents strategies to get children to complete chores without nagging and fighting. Sounds pretty amazing, right? Holly’s fun personality and hilarious examples made this interview both fun and informative.   Here is what we talked about: Why Holly first sought out the Love and Logic parenting philosophy. What Love and Logic parenting is. Putting an end to arguing, backtalk and begging. Teaching responsibility without losing love. Setting limits without waging war. How to use strategic training sessions to eliminate specific bad behaviors. How to avoid power struggles. Guiding kids to own and solve their problems. How to get kids to complete chores without being asked or being paid. Mom Squad Challenge: Instead of arguing with your kids or trying to solve their problems when they come to you,  just come up with a phrase you say that disengages you from the situation and lets them work on solving their own problems. For example, when they are upset about a situation at school, just listen and say, “That’s too bad.”  You don’t need to say anything else. Holly’s favorite Parenting Books: Smart Money Smart Kids Parenting With Love and Logic The Child Whisperer Growing Up Favorite Fiction Books: Harry Potter Pride And Prejudice Jackaroo Wednesday Wars Advice Holly wished she had had before she became a parent:  We are enough just the way we are, no matter how we are doing it.  Plan on a lot of mom fails and know that that is normal!

Church Picnics, 90 Degree weather and Rachel’s fear of Armadillos are all part of the episode this week.  We also get into the main topic where Rachel interviews Diane Slack about “Love and Logic” parenting.     If you’re in the thick of parenting or teaching or anything having to do with children this episode will encourage you big time.  As Diane shares, you’ll pick up on some incredibly helpful information such as:*ways to empower your kids to make wise choices*allowing consequences to be the ‘bad guy’*one liners to diffuse tense situations and *ideas to help your kids work through problems on their ownThis all fits beautifully into our desire to parent our kids the way God parents us.  Enjoy!    Love & Logic Parenting by Foster Cline and Jim FayLoving Your Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk

He's become one of America's most sought after presenters in the fields of parenting, positive discipline, and classroom management. Along with Foster Cline, MD, he's the co-founder of The Love and Logic Institute and co-author of the bestseller, Parenting with Love and Logic. Jim Fay has over 30 years of experience in education, serving in public, private and parochial schools in a variety of roles including elementary education, art and music teacher, school principal and administrator. He's been consulting and speaking about parenting and education for more than 30 years founding the school, Consultant Services, which is the sister company to the Cline Fay Institute in 1977.

Do you dash to your child's school to defend him or her for the slightest issues that arise? Did you hesitate to write your child's college admissions essay? Have you ever called your kid's boss? If you answered yes to these questions, you may be a helicopter parent. Foster Cline, the psychiatrist who coined the term “helicopter parent,” explains how overprotective parents hinder their children's development, and sociologist Annette Lareau, who authored the groundbreaking Unequal Childhoods, defends what she calls the “concerted cultivation” style of middle-class parenting. Ron Alsop, author of The Trophy Kids Grow Up, the definitive book on millennials' ability to cope in the workforce, shares horrifying stories of parental over-involvement in the workplace and teen/parent coach Tammy Potosky gives tips on how to let go of your children gracefully. As always, there'll be opportunities to win free gifts, including a free one-hour coaching session for you and your teen!

Do you dash to your child's school to defend him or her for the slightest issues that arise? Did you hesitate to write your child's college admissions essay? Have you ever called your kid's boss? If you answered yes to these questions, you may be a helicopter parent. Foster Cline, the psychiatrist who coined the term “helicopter parent,” explains how overprotective parents hinder their children's development, and sociologist Annette Lareau, who authored the groundbreaking Unequal Childhoods, defends what she calls the “concerted cultivation” style of middle-class parenting. Ron Alsop, author of The Trophy Kids Grow Up, the definitive book on millennials' ability to cope in the workforce, shares horrifying stories of parental over-involvement in the workplace and teen/parent coach Tammy Potosky gives tips on how to let go of your children gracefully. As always, there'll be opportunities to win free gifts, including a free one-hour coaching session for you and your teen!

Do you dash to your child's school to defend him or her for the slightest issues that arise? Did you hesitate to write your child's college admissions essay? Have you ever called your kid's boss? If you answered yes to these questions, you may be a helicopter parent. Foster Cline, the psychiatrist who coined the term “helicopter parent,” explains how overprotective parents hinder their children's development, and sociologist Annette Lareau, who authored the groundbreaking Unequal Childhoods, defends what she calls the “concerted cultivation” style of middle-class parenting. Ron Alsop, author of The Trophy Kids Grow Up, the definitive book on millennials' ability to cope in the workforce, shares horrifying stories of parental over-involvement in the workplace and teen/parent coach Tammy Potosky gives tips on how to let go of your children gracefully. As always, there'll be opportunities to win free gifts, including a free one-hour coaching session for you and your teen!

Dr. Foster Cline shares the secret to dealing with all temper tantrums.

Dr. Foster Cline gives expert advice on how to handle the Santa question.

Foster Cline, Dyan Eyebergen and Betsy Brown Braun help parents and kids transition their brains and body clocks out of lazy vacation mode and back to a school time schedule.

Dr. Foster Cline helps mothers struggling with the guilt of leaving the kids to go back to the workforce. Reveals affirming statistics that a working mom has positive affects on her kids.

No matter how cookie cutter they seemed, even The Brady's dealt with sibling rivalry. Peter was jealous of Greg. Cindy was jealous of Peter. And everyone was jealous of Marcia. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Today, Parents Ask experts Joanne Stern, Ph.D., Foster Cline, MD, and Betsy Brown Braun take a look and discuss this age old family problem. The question is, what is normal and how can you minimize it?

Psychiatrist Dr. Foster Cline (co-author of Parenting with Love and Logic), Elizabeth Pantley (author of the "No Cry" series of books), and Dr. Bonnie Zucker (author of Anxiety-Free Kids) discuss a phase some toddlers go through in which they prefer one parent over the other.

Even if your kids are still in diapers, it's never to early to teach them the value of contributing to the daily operations of the house-- that is--Chores! But as they get older, your child will probably not volunteer to help mommy or daddy out. In fact, they'll most likely expect some sort of compensation or an increase in their allowance. But as parents we need to know: should chores and allowance go hand in hand? Parents Ask experts Bonnie Zucker, Foster Cline, and Joanne Stern give us their opinions!

Psychiatrist Dr. Foster Cline (co-author of Parenting With Love & Logic), Dr. Ann Corwin (The Parenting Doctor and creator of DVD series The Child Connection: Simple Parenting Solutions), and Dr. Bonnie Zucker (author of Anxiety-Free Kids) discuss the reasons some new mothers who plan to go back to work when their maternity leave ends have doubts about resuming their jobs and whether kids with working moms suffer in the long run.

The good news: you've potty trained one kid, now it's time for the other. The bad news: Boys and girls require a little different "training." Today, Parents Ask experts Dr. Foster Cline, Betsy Brown Braun, and Dr. Anne Corwin share their tips on do's, don'ts, and signs of potty training-readiness.

Jessica Gottlieb asks how parents can help a child who's been bullied and how we can help our child not be bullied in the future. Parents Ask experts Foster Cline, Betsy Brown Braun and Bonnie Zucker offer helpful tips on how to handle bullying -- whether it's another child... or even your own.

Dr. Foster Cline explains why young children should not be given money to do chores, and gives tips on how to set positive examples when it comes to young children helping out around the house.

Ann Corwin, Foster Cline and Susan Stiffelman give expert advice on how to prepare a child who had a difficult school year to do better in the coming year. Tips are given to help determine where they need support and how to help them succeed.