Because You Watched Starcrash

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One night I started watching a movie called Starcrash... then this happened. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

Michael Vanderpool


    • Dec 21, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 57m AVG DURATION
    • 62 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Because You Watched Starcrash

    The Family Man (2000) & The Massive Weight of Unbearable Talent (2022) - Because You Watched Starcrash!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2024 71:45


    “I cried throughout the entire thing. It made me want to be a better man.”  We're at the end of an era, folks. The Nicolas Cage season of Because You Watched Starcrash draws to a close with our obligatory holiday movie and a spectacular piece of metafiction. Your Distinguished Professors and salute the man of the hour. Topics discussed include our latest accompanying whiskey, yet another manifestation of the Magical Negro, movies that get dads to cry, Cash's alignment is called into question, nostalgia for pre-9/11 airport security, the apparent intense bone-ability of Jack, the lack of clear thinking at the airport, Téa Leoni's shower scene, the relative lack of crazy-Cage in FM, comparison with The Good Place (with light spoilers), Jack's life is actually pretty good prior to the glimpse, speculation about the dimensional or time-travel issues involved with the glimpse, Cage's bad Boston accent, Nicky's outfit and hairstyle as a callback to Cage's infamous 1990 talk show appearance, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, some obligatory ribbing of M. Night Shyamalan, a nihilistic callback to Pig, speculation about drinking a beer underwater, parallel with Ex Machina, amazing Cage/ Pascal chemistry, Cage making out with Nicky, our three favorite movies, always trusting our shamanic instincts as thespians, the cruel end of the glimpse, the absurdity of being “trapped” in marriage to a Hollywood actress, parallels between FM and a Hallmark movie, a bleak interpretation of the end of FM, a quick PKD reference, being haunted by a lost alternate past, not one but TWO Nick Cage Queries, and our future date with Paddington 2.

    Vampire's Kiss (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2024 67:21


    Vampire's Kiss (1988)  “You're in the goddamn crapper, Loew, and I'm trying to take a dump. So either shut up and leave the acting lessons for home or go back to the ladies' room.” Is it a deft American Psycho-level satire, a taut supernatural or psychological thriller, or insane, ridiculous crap? That's the question facing our Distinguished Professors as they discuss the 1988 Nicolas Cage meme-fest Vampire's Kiss.  Let's see if they find an answer. Topics discussed include gratuitous displays of alphabet-yelling, Cage's love for this movie and role, Loew as a Renfield, a plug for proper hydration, the mystery of the imaginary (?) psychiatrist, Renfield's a bug-eating simp, a plan for the holiday special that we don't follow, a digression into the literary origins of vampires, late-80s hair and fashion, musing on whether Cage's antics fit this movie, the role of ambiguity here, parallels with Joker, Loew's awful Philadelphian accent, weird camera shots, the fake dialogue with Jackie on the way back to Loew's apartment, Loew's gradual descent into madness and how this movie takes its time, Alva as the center of both the movie's corporate satire and its cruelty, the ambiguity of the murder, weird comedic moments, a possible fourth wall break, the roach-eating scene, Nosferatu playing in the background, the violent mimes and veering into the territory of the art film, Loew's façade of culture, vampire practice, “BOO HOO!”-ing, Cage's physical acting, a cheap postcard to New York, Loew's prior scumbag behavior, and the state of contemporary art in the 1980s. Plus, look: soup! 

    Because You Watched Starcrash - Ho-Ho-Holiday Special 2023 Hallmark Movies!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2023 97:07


    Ho-Ho-Hallmark Holiday Special A Christmas Wedding Tail (2011), A Christmas Melody (2015), and Christmas Mail (2010)  “Don't worry, I'm a city girl. This small town is not for me.”  Welcome to our 2023 Holiday Special, in which your three Distinguished Professors move from the big city to a small town and find love in only the most formulaic of ways! We invite our podcast's first special guest, Jackie, to experience this holiday Hallmark (and faux-Hallmark) hell with us. Topics covered include multiple false starts, the lack of conflict and deceit in the classic Hallmark movie, the general definition of a Hallmark movie, a quick mention of Santa's Summer Home, the amazing whiteness of the couples involved and moments of casual racism, a defense of the dog voice-acting, a bit of research about MOMA and MOCA, bitchy antagonists, the foolishness of getting married over a major Christian holiday, desperately searching for a conflict and a dog love story (and dignity for the annoying musician pal) in ACWT, the weird platonic gal pal singer in ACM, death as the new divorce, the actual conflict and lack of cinematography in CM, a quick comparison of the auteur directorial work of Mariah Carey and William Shatner, the increasing diversity of these movies over time, the superior soundtrack of ACM, Lacey Chabert and some Party of Five talk, Folgers product placement, May-December shenanigans, a stolen joke about Peter North, comparison of CM and Elf, picks for next year's Christmas Special, Mariah Carey's weird-looking hands, some fine double entendre, CM as a bought-on-Wish version of a Hallmark movie, the role of wish fulfillment and predictability in these movies, trickery on behalf of supernatural or mundane forces, emotionally-scarring animal films, the definition of a groupie, manipulative children, Lacey Chabert's odd resemblance to public groping enthusiast Lauren Boebert, the specter of dead parents, the grimmer specter of failure, reflection on what makes a good formulaic movie, the living hell of the looming threat of the ACWT family honeymoon, the 10/3 ratio, a standing invitation to Jay Mohr, and keeping it Hallmark. 

    Willy's Wonderland (2021) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2023 68:31


    Willy's Wonderland (2021) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2023 96:08


    “I had a miserable time tonight because of you.” It's our first Francis Ford Coppola joint on Because You Watched Starcrash! And Kathleen Turner! Oh, and some other guy who was once named Coppola is in it, too. Your Distinguished Professors watched an early entry in the Nicholas Cage-verse, Peggy Sue Got Married, and now you're going to hear about it! Topic discussed include Madonna's genitals, the right level of weird vs. Nicholas Cage-levels of weird, Charlie's insane appearance at the class reunion, a brief comparison with Somewhere in Time, the transition point from the 50s to the 60s and yet another appearance of David Sirota's Back to Our Future, the inevitable contrast with Back to the Future, Charlie's lack of transformation or growth, a brief discussion of the Ordo Templi Orientis and the Oddfellows, John Carradine's last movie, what we'd do if we could go back in time knowing what we know now, the appeal of the 1950s for white and middle- to upper-class folks, the fine soundtrack, more casual 1980s anti-Asian racism, Michael's book's dedication as the only evidence this isn't a dream, the Cage vs. Turner libel lawsuit, Charlie's near-murder of Peggy Sue, Charlie as the worst of the 1950s and the worst of the 1980s, lots of subtlety, a brief moment of praise for Sofia Coppola, the role of wish fulfillment here, Michael as the flawed critique of the 1950s, the deep mystery of the grandparents, Peggy Sue's change of perception, Jim Carey as a force for sanity and normalcy in comparison, and a debate about whether this is a “movie” or a “film.” Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

    The Wicker Man (2006) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2023 81:56


    “This is a story whose chapters were carefully written.” In their ongoing exploration of the filmography of one Nicolas “Jor-El” Cage, the Distinguished Professors have watched the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man, which has 100% less depth and 1000% fewer boobs (don't check my math) than the original. Topics covered include the intense dumbness of the conspiracy to trap our hero, the clunkiness of the dialogue, the universal dour evil of women in this movie universe, ACAB (All Cops Are Bumblers), the Safety Dance, misogyny and the awful addition of gender conflict to this movie, the “dark comedy” issue, multiple JJ Abrams references, the necessity for some people to get their stupid asses stung to death by bees, the uncertain origin of elbow patches, the cinematic creepiness of twins, Don Quixote references, the on-the-nose William Blake quote, the insistence on the omnipresence of misanthropy in a work of misogyny, Willow's unclear motivation, a quick shout-out to Robert Evans and Behind the Bastards regarding Ellen Burstyn's mistreatment on the set of The Exorcist, the intense pointlessness of watching the PG-13 cut of this movie, the Children of God and “flirty fishing,” and the final middle finger of dedicating this crap to Johnny Ramone. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

    Ho-Ho-Holiday Special III – GI Joe: A Real American HeroEpisode 1:39, “Cobra Claws are Coming to Town” (1985) and He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 66:06


    Ho-Ho-Holiday Special III – GI Joe: A Real American HeroEpisode 1:39, “Cobra Claws are Coming to Town” (1985) and He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985) “Well, I don't like to feel good. I like to feel EVIL!” Your Distinguished Professors have prepared quite the holiday treat – we're going back to 1985 with two ridiculously bad extended yuletide toy commercials! Topics discussed include constant Skeletor impersonations, our sense of nostalgia takes a punch to the gut, the weirdness of Horde Prime and the idea that both Hordak and Skeletor are just middle managers, Adora and Adam are Jesus, Jesus conveniently edited out of the Christmas tale, the terrible character design of the Monstroids and Manchines, clear competitive pressure from Transformers, the Beast Monster and the Snow Beast, the omission of Cringer/ Battle Cat, the absurdity of Adam's voice, our attempts to explain Christmas to aliens, Adora's fascist past, a quick reference to The Toys That Made Us, Filmation and Sunbow, the fascination with transformation sequences, Orko is a kidnapper, naked time travel, the creepiness of Adora and Adam's relationship, Tom of Finland and Fisto, Hordak's flying sex toy, skeletons are only real when they are inside of us and the innate scariness of a skull face, another flagrant violation of the prime directive, Shipwreck's eventual transformation into Shore Leave of The Venture Bros., Shipwreck's parrot is his top, Destro's lame shrink/ growth ray, Destro's status as an arms-designing mercenary, Cobra Commander's mask change part way through the episode, the innate weirdness of 1980s kids' toy franchises, Duke asserts his manliness, double bagging is a bad idea, the amazingly low stakes of GI Joe, the ”porkchop sandwiches” parody of GI Joe's public service announcements, and our Joe code names and specialties. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Back to the Future I, II, & III - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2022 81:50


    Back to the Future(1985), Back to the Future Part II (1989), and Back to the Future Part III (1990) “What are you looking at, Butthead?” In an amazing finale, your time-traveling Distinguished Professors end their journey with the Back to the Future trilogy! Topics discussed include Back to the Future's enduring excellence, the issues with the sequels, Part II's surprisingly weak visual effects (other than the various duplicate actor shots), the Jaws jokes in Part II, Goldie Wilson and Chuck Berry as time-travel causality conundrums, Part I as the perfect script, yet another discussion of David Sirota's Back to Our Future and the 1980s' pop culture connection back to the 1950s, a weird quiz for Clink, the removal of Crispin Glover, runaway product placement, perceptions of time travel shown in the movies, dark theories regarding multiple dead Martys, a bit about how the DeLorean time travels, the badassery of James Tolkan, Mary Steenburgen as the eternal time traveling weirdo's girlfriend, Pat Buttram's brief appearance, Marty's darling atomic cowboy outfit and an unexpected criticism of 1950s nostalgia for the Old West, Marty's ancestor is boning his mom's ancestor (?!), a shoutout to the Wizard and the Bruiser podcast and Marty's “chicken” hubris, future Biff is disturbingly Trump-y, Flea's cameo, Doc would fail Temporal Ethics at Starfleet Academy, our impending date with Howard the Duck, the weird choice of ZZ Top to be the soundtrack pop song anchor for Part III, the great Alan Silvestri score, a callback to Action Replayy, incest comes up yet again, the two tension-building clocks in Part I and the color-coded logs in Part III, the radically different landscape for Part III, our ideal retrofutures, a gold star for Marty for not murdering Mad Dog Tannen, and making like a tree and getting out of here. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Action Replayy (2010) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2022 61:35


    “And if anything happens to the rose plants in my absence, then I will send you to hell.” This week your Distinguished Professors take their first trip to Bollywood with the Back to the Future ripoff/ homage Action Replayy! Singing! Dancing! Subtitles! A super-hot mom! Topics discussed include even worse grammar for our opening, lowering. . . our voices, musical numbers and their diegetic role in Indian movies, weird credits, we're always living in the past, time travel here is pretty much magic, plenty of misogyny, lots of blending of genres and tones, Supergirl with dance numbers, the A-list cast, Kundan is our Biff, the cuckolding of Kishen, a brief aside about Leto's Joker's suckiness, Bunty's nerd shirts, Mala's friend Mona and her weird pseudo-cougaring with Bunty, the video-ready first dance sequence, a Cyrano/ Roxannecomparison, Bunty gets the coveted “Good Job on Avoiding Incest” award, the ridiculous car chase scene, cheating is good (?), bribery is good (?), Bunty is bad at subterfuge, and a long digression into the concept of ostension. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Warlock (1989) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2022 55:35


    “Thou art to be hanged, and then burned over a basket of living cats.” Your Distinguished Witchhunting Professors cross wits with the insane occult time travel movie Warlock! And since no witch can cross no consecrated ground, they discuss the first of our magical time travel movies and a reference to Outlander, the dreaminess of Julian Sands, Lori Singer as the resident hot new wave girlfriend, comparisons with Hocus Pocus, the crazy fakelore of this movie, inconsistent rules regarding Zamiel and time travel, a Laverne and Shirley reference, a need for opening context, a riff on JJ Abrams (come on our show, coward!”), Richard E. Grant's weird youngness, a quick preview of our exploration of Nicolaus Cage movies, this movie's weird conservatism regarding who dies, the conundrum of a popular metaphysical comic book shop, Redferne's made-up grammar and his weirdness even in 1691, a divergence into Brandon Call's career, Jesus and the twelve apostrophes, lots of double negatives, Satan's black hell-smeared farting hole, the problem of undoing all creation, the perils of old women makeup, Ron Paulsen's distinct voice, the sequels and the comic book series, a variety of historical errors, a public service announcement that colors don't have genders, the Warlock copycat murder, the weird romantic subplot, the omnipresent human drive to bury terrible evils, the stankiness of Redferne's outfit, the hell of terrible lighting, and the coming Bollywood craziness of Action Replayy! Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    2022 Gory-Hole Special - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2022 76:37


    “You don't need a stretcher up there – you need a mop!” Just in time for the very most spookiest part of the year, your favorite Distinguished Professors discuss the films that established the slasher movie genre – Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street – in their offensively-named named Goryhole Special! Topics covered include Psycho's origination of the slasher genre, Halloween's great main theme, Robert Englund's thinly-disguised role as folklorist Jan Harold Brunvand in Urban Legend, our brief windows of attractiveness, the anti-sex message of these movies and whether they actually discourage people from having sex, a brief digression into Defoe's Moll Flanders, the disappointing lack of boobs in these movies, the lack of story and decent red herrings in Friday the 13th, Crazy Ralph and the “death curse,” why you don't pet or talk to random dogs, the cruel disappointment of not getting to see Ned get killed, a brief ode to jorts and neckerchiefs, the utter lack of non-white folks, why you can't think too hard about plot for any of these movies, the various murder tableaus as art, why you need to Negan every psycho killer every opportunity you get, a reference to Vangelis (RIP), Freddy as the superior slasher and is your boyfriend now, the problem of shooting California for Illinois, the uncanniness of the lonely suburb, a quick flashback to Pumaman, Friday the 13th's portrayal of the fifties, lucid dreaming is the key to beating Freddy, don't bone your TV, some slander of John Saxon's character as a dad, Hmong deaths from sleep paralysis as an inspiration for Wes Craven, a rumination on the nature of sweet dreams, the barrier to enjoying Freddy imposed by his status as a pedophile and child murderer, hilarious mantraps, lighting film vs. digital, Vanderpool's plans for a horror movie, and a lesson about the monsters to whom we give too much attention. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Time After Time (1979) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2022 71:12


    “My mother was a rather atrocious woman in her way, but her many failings did not include raising mentally deficient sons.” Your intrepid Distinguished Professors unwittingly fall once again into the horrid clutches of Corey Feldman in 1979's Time After Time, featuring a sexy and villainous David Warner and a decidedly less sexy role for ordinarily sexy and villainous Malcolm McDowell as highly unsexy author H. G. Wells. Topics discussed include a preview of this movie's random homophobia, the worst kissing ever, the inherent ridiculousness of time machine designs, a plug for our upcoming Back to the Future episode, really bad time travel effects, the dumbness of putting a solar-powered time machine in the basement, Chekov's “vaporizer equalizer” and pointlessly complicated time travel rules, dystopian 1970s San Francisco, echoes of Star Trek IV (because the director was a co-writer on said Trek movie), the unquenchable fire of Mary Steenburgen's Amy's loins regarding the H. G. D., whether one can “Chuck Berry” oneself by hearing about one's future works, possible influence on Alan Moore's From Hell, the need for a leaner cut, clocks and watches as the constant reminder that we're watching a time travel movie, the recurrence of the idea of free love, Jack the Ripper as a man of the 20th century, the 2017 series of the same name, the need for more camera time with the Ripper on his own, Amy's likely inability to survive in the past, the need for a Temporal Ethics 101 for most of the movies in this season, and a reminder of how much you matter, dear listener. . --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (1993) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2022 60:46


    “Big mistake, dude!” Your Distinguished Professors tackle a movie that temporarily killed a franchise and that isn't X-Men 3! We suffered through the joyless simulation of a movie that is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, so now you have to listen to us chat about it! It's only fair! Topics discussed include the confusing proliferation of TMNT media, a plug for The Toys That Made Us, Corey Feldman's hacky voice acting, an interminable attempt to project our group dynamic onto the turtles, the bad targeting of the jokes for the adults, the degeneration of the turtle effects and Splinter's loss of his lower torso, the time swap plot, interspecies turtle lust for April O'Neil, magical time travel finally makes its appearance, Leonardo's Cyclops-like uselessness, endless attempts to try to figure out how racist this movie is, our intervention regarding Vanderpool's habit of falling asleep in movies, the unresolved mystery of the drawings of the turtles from the past, a digression into kappa, the ubiquitous ‘80s desire to become a ninja, arguably the worst 90s villain falling death, and Clink's insane double Michelangelo mask moment which dominates the podcast. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Buck Rogers: The Plot to Kill a City (1979) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2022 65:38


    “Beeee-dee beedee – what a fox!” In this memorial episode, the Distinguished Professors pay homage to TV bombshell Markie Post, another of the honored fallen of 2021, by watching a two-part episode of the disco sci-fi epic Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, “The Plot to Kill a City”! Topics covered include a lot of initial free product placement, a justification of Buck Rogers as a time travel story, the hot spandex-clad ladies of the 25th century, a rundown of the special guest stars, a brief review of the career of Markie Post, yet another appearance of the lovely Robert Tessier, Frank Gorshin's role as Grandma Moff Tarkin, the weird case of Dr. Theopolis, Buck Rogers as a precursor to Steve Rogers, multiple future discos, some notes on Tessier's physical performance, gender stereotypes of the 25th century, the murkiness of the League of Death's motivations and their city-killing plot, a parallel with A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Buck's terrible future toilet wine, Joella's weirdly indeterminate role as an implied space hooker, the pointlessness of the villainous empath, a comparison with classic Battlestar Galactica and the lack of desire to take science fiction seriously on TV in the 1980s. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Time Runner (1993) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2022 55:31


    “Christ! I'm getting tired of this guy!” This week your Distinguished Professors continue their run through time travel cinema with 1993's Mark Hamill vehicle Time Runner! Topics discussed include the alternate title, its setting in 2022 (the future is now!!!!), why you just can't trust a guy named Neila, ripping off both The Terminator and Star Wars, how the demand for knock-off movies was vital back in the video store ecosystem, dramatic reveals, the intense Canadian-ness of Karen Donaldson, wormhole time travel, the distinctive look of Brion James, the mystery of the disappearance of adult Raynor, Arnie's killing spree, a fine connection to classic X-Files episode “Humbug,” why you don't just reach into a crashed alien draft without wearing gloves, overbearing soundtracks, connections back to Yoyodyne (and Berres gets the title of The Crying of Lot 49 wrong), some musings about the mystery of being ordered to copulate with one's self, the inexplicability of the aliens' plot and motives, trying to identify Raynor's generation, generic political speech of the 90s, a plug for Soylent Green, a rundown of Star Wars comparisons, pointless jump scares, randomly killing soldiers apparently doesn't mess with the timeline, the cliché of the villain's swivel chair reveal (with bonus steepled fingers!), and the promise of 70s ladies in sexy futurewear next time! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel (2009) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2022 66:51


    “Time travel. It'll turn your brain into spaghetti if you let it. Best not to think about it.” This week your Distinguished Professors grab some pints and go full-on Imagineer with the British science fiction comedy epic Frequently Asked Questions about Time Travel! So let's all call Hollywood sh*t and talk about Clink's Carson routine, Berres's inability to remember that Bonnie Tyler wrote “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” a comparison with Joker regarding the eternal horror of being a fired mascot, musings about how you actually create a good movie, Vanderpool's film career, the conundrum of doing a good nerd movie, comparisons with Simon Pegg and the unfortunate death of Gareth Carrivick, the smallness of the film as a benefit, time-traveling hookers, the Back to the Future reference, re-watching potential, Outlander comparison and a warning about screwing up the future like Claire, Toby's MacGuffin idea, multiple references to other time-travel movies, a comparison with the ending of The Handmaid's Tale and the fun of parodies of fan culture, Millie's outfit, the awesomeness of Michael Des Barres, Millie as Victor the Cleaner, poor Jennifer in Back to the Future, a defense of Scott Pilgrim, a discussion of the merits of Old Elvis and the Beatles, the Rutger Hauer effect, musings on Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise, the rejection of thought, the deep coolness of Venus Flytrap, a last minute comparison with Somewhere in Time, and our rejection of the past. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Mazes and Monsters (1982) - Because You Watch Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2022 54:12


    “Beware of the sacrilege!” This week your Distinguished Professors enjoy a film with Tom Hanks, fresh off his days of bosoming and buddying and on the cusp of a noteworthy acting career: the D&D-sploitation movie Mazes and Monsters! Roll for initiative as we discuss the sad fact that two-thirds of this podcast can't drink a man's beverage, the “real-life” roots of this story, a series of tragic hat choices, the 80s backlash against Dungeons and Dragons, a bit about D&D's popularity, the Maze Controller, Clink's uncle Tom Harvey is in this (!!!), a comparison with Ordinary People, the worst opening music ever, Clink's helmet, JJ being coded as gay through his Noel Coward costume, the transition from JJ's story to Robbie's story, a brief digression into ghost belief, the first world problems of our protagonists, creativity and individual leads to destruction (hi, Supergirl!), ways this could have been weirder and more compelling, made-for-TV special effects, bad lighting, Kate's desire to be a writer and the role of imagination in writing, random funk, another cheapass Styrofoam cave, a nerdy clarification of the emotional status of Vulcans, live-action role-playing, JJ hijacks Daniel's game once his character stupidly gets killed, the fallacy of “winning” D&D, the irony of capitalists accusing D&D of being satanic for being about accumulating wealth and power, Tom Hanks can't run, the morass of the cave, Berres's origins as a D&D player in 1984, comparisons with the anti-video game movement, Vanderpool spitting some random Eminem lyrics, the fiction of an open parking spot in New York, Slayer on the marquee in New York and other moral panics, a quick discussion of modern Satanism (and Berres screws up the name of the Satanic Temple), and the mystery of priapism. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Trancers (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2022 36:47


    “Dry hair's for squids.” This week the Distinguished Professors dive deeply into the work of auteur Charles Band with the time travel adventure of future-noir tough guy Jack Deth in 1984's Trancers! Topics covered include forbidden early forays into porn-watching, connections to Quantum Leap, the five sequels to this movie, the recent loss of Peter Scolari, doing battle with Santa, the burned-out cop as a cinematic archetype, questions about the origin of Skid Row, Leena becomes self-aware and the hotness of new wave girlfriend Helen Hunt, a credit to music podcast No Dogs in Space in regards to punks as the folk monsters of the 1980s, a comparison with Galaxy Lords, the craziness of Hap Ashby, the futility of Whistler's plot, weak action choreography and a digression into Chuck Norris's career, the Q gadget-introduction scene, and another shoutout to Ma Clink. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Primer (2004) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2022 60:30


    “Then there were days, good days, when by anyone's judgment they would have to be considered clever.” The Distinguished Professors get serious with their time travel with 2004's Primer, an intense independent cinematic experience involving 20-something engineers in suburban Texas entering and leaving a storage facility at various times. Topics discussed include the $7000 budget, dilation, the lack of Steven Johnson's “red flashing arrows,” what makes an art house or indie movie “good,” the 40-year-old expiration date for engineers(?!), Power Rangers' repackaging of old episodes as a time travel season, bottle episodes, the advantages and drawbacks of naturalistic sound in a movie, the deliberate mysteriousness of Granger, the problem of the murkiness of the initial project, Abe is the smart and careful time-traveler, Shane Carruth's control over the movie as writer/ director/ composer, the failsafe machine, the shocking arrivals of violence at various points, our admissions that we cheated in watching review videos, realistic limits on meeting your past self, contrast with the time travel in Avengers: Endgame, the indeterminate punched-ness of Joseph Platts and speculation about when Aaron goes bad, more speculation about when they discover that changes can occur, Abe once more wins Clink's seal of time traveler approval, more defecation on Whedon and the role of ego in directors, kit-bashed time machines, saying hello to Ma Clink, and plans for the future. Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2022 56:39


    “Well, double-dumbass on you!” The Distinguished Professors travel at warp speed into their time travel adventures with an impromptu episode right after a theater showing of Star Trek IV! Topics discussed include Clink's review of basic time travel theory, Trek time travel's creation of alternate universes, the replacement Lt. Saavik, attempts to resolve whether Liz Taylor was ever in a Star Trek episode, a brief Warhammer 40k digression, why you shouldn't think too hard about this movie, multiple levels of Bloom's taxonomy in Spock's re-education, this movie as the beginning of modern character-driven sci fi, “the even-numbered movies are the good ones” maxim, Kirk's genius, pacing differences between the 80s and the present, nobody got time for the Prime Directive, “colorful metaphors,” the Vulcan nerve pinch, cursing in Trek, the post-scarcity economy, why you don't warp in an atmosphere or build the Enterprise on Earth, thinking too much about JJ Abrams, another failure to give Nichelle Nichols enough to do, placing Catherine Hicks, Kirk's true love, a Quantum Leap digression, a Michael Berryman story, Trek movies inspired by success of Star Wars (just like Star Crash!), nerd-dom requires dedication, Trek books inspired Star Wars, and our plans for the season (and fun home game - keep track of how many movies we talk about that we don't do in the season!). Follow us on Facebook! Because You Watched Starcrash Music credits: "Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Showgirls (1995) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2021 58:54


    “He says, ‘In America, everyone is a gynecologist.'” You've been waiting. You've been wanting. And now we're going to give it to you. Distinguished Professors. Verhoeven. Showgirls. Topics covered include Berres's first bad movie ka-tet (hat tip to Dave and Jessica), the pointlessness of the VH-1 TV version, the not-so-hidden misogyny of Joe Eszterhas, the good parts (which actually do exist), a disastrous lack of clear direction, the campy awareness of Cristal Conners, attempts to make Nomi a round character, parallel with A Knight's Tale, our inability to connect with Nomi, the worst dance scene ever, the constant reminders that Nomi can dance, the amazing soundtrack, the mismatch of Nomi's naivety and her tough backstory, the fatal error of including the rape scene, the shittiness of Andrew Carver, the iconic arm move, Verhoeven hates your boner, anti-Asian racism, Verhoeven's possible dumbness, Nomi's nails and getting a little old for that whore-y look, the centrality of lies and truth to our plot, Penny in the sequel, the huge list of people who turned down the roles of Nomi and Cristal, the sadness of James's life, Ver-sayce, the worst sex scene, why you don't lick the pole at a strip club, how you determine the Christmas movie status of a movie, the weirdness of the initial Pollyanna comparison, manic without the pixie dream girl, killing the allure of boobs and the film's anti-sex message, the hyperbolic media coverage of a topless dance revue, violations of HIPAA, Nomi as a life-wrecking idiot, and our plans for the next season. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Earnest Saves Christmas (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2021 46:43


    “It's time for the Three Musketeers to saddle up and ride to glory, KnoWhutImean?” To save Christmas 2021 from the triple threat of a COVID-19 variant that sounds like a Transformer, a dire shortage of cream cheese, and general malaise, your beloved Distinguished Professors bring you the 1988 Christmas miracle that is Ernest Saves Christmas! Topic covered include an overview of the Ernest cinematic universe, the connection between this film and The Star Wars Holiday Special, a bold claim that this is a perfect Christmas movie, parallels with Die Hard, the potential death of Ernest's first passenger, Bobby and Marty's sophomoric schtick, the Hey Vern, It's Ernest TV show, the omnipresence of Hare Krishnas in 1970s/ 1980s airports in movies, a long reach to connect to Showgirls, the unfortunate manifestation of anti-Semitism in some of the showbiz characters who don't understand the importance of Christmas, Santa reinforces sexist gender roles, the weirdness of Harmony's role, Ernest's occasional ADR rambling, the POV visit to Vern's place, the childlike wonder of criminals, connections to our time travel season, contrast with The Santa Clause, the absence of Mrs. Claus, a pair of Disney connections, our reluctance to revisit some of the Ernest movies, the only words you need to remember in “Oh Christmas Tree,” Santa as a user of people and the embodiment of capitalism, a digression into talking about merch, Clink will not send you a dollar, Santa as the villain in Wonder Woman 1984 or a djinn, a lie about Michelangelo, and the importance of pursuing your dreams regardless of their legality. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2021 34:38


    “Oh, Wiploc, I think I'll miss you least of all.” On this outing your Distinguished Professors crash land in the backyard swimming pool of 1988's Earth Girls are Easy! Topics discussed include a rival Dr. Love, the omnipresence of this movie on Comedy Central back in the day, this podcast as a social contract, the failure to launch Julie Brown's career, the strange hotness of Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum, Clink's realization that he's the only one of us without a side podcast, a failure comparison with our old enemy Supergirl, the need for either more dancing or more plot, Valerie's super-easy job, this movie's general observance of the prime directive, the ol' “aliens learning about life through TV” motif, the dumbness of trying to test a mirage by swimming through it, OMG Zeebo is black! and the anti-miscegenation message of this pro-miscegenation movie, “You're tearing me apart!” before The Room, a faint connection to sitcom Head of the Class, the failure of the love triangle, and the demise of human interaction due to the internet. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Bubba Ho-tep (2003) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 30, 2021 47:39


    “I think you know what I'm getting at, Mr. President. We're gonna kill us a mummy.” In this thrilling installment of Because You Watched Starcrash, your Distinguished Professors wade ass-deep into danger with 2003's Bubba Ho-tep! Topics discussed include Soul Man, the director's writing credit on The Beastmaster, this movie's intense absurdity, parallels with Unforgiven and Logan in fears about losing usefulness in old age, the awesomeness of Joe R. Lansdale, defining words at the beginning like Pulp Fiction, this movie as a mock epic, Bruce Campbell as a cult actor, the role of Kemosabe in getting us to question the literal authenticity of Jack and Elvis, “Haff's” self-parodying performance as Elvis, referring to Elvis movies without actually showing Elvis movies, our vaccination status, trying to place where we've seen the various bit-part players, parallels with Don Quixote and The Rape of the Lock, uses of humor that are effective but not necessarily funny, Elvis's psychic powers, the plot convenience of Jack, smoking around hazardous materials, a bit of folklore trivia about latrinalia, our producer shares some useful trivia about scarabs, and the burden of thinking with sand. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Three O'Clock High (1987) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2021 42:25


    “Pain is temporary – film is forever.” Your favorite Distinguished Professors have a showdown with the best and weirdest of the 80s teen movies, Three O'Clock High! Topics covered include the insane opening sequence, comparison with Better Off Dead, connections to Back to the Future and Black Scorpion, interesting camera angles, the opening sequence as an arming of the hero, the inexorability of fate, remembrances of high schools past, attempts to get out of trouble by getting into trouble, the greatness of the Tangerine Dream soundtrack, Jeffrey Tambor's velvet suit, the depth of Buddy Revell as a villain, the intensity of the ending fight, a high literary reference to The Turn of the Screw, building tension through clock shots and the intense discomfort of the science class film, and the filmmakers within the film. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    The Fantastic Four (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2021 72:53


    “That's for trying to kill me! That's for trying to kill my friends! And that's for being a real jerk!” The Distinguished Professors endure cosmic ray bombardment through laughably-absent safety measures to watch Roger Corman's copywrite-maintaining placeholder, The Fantastic Four! Topics include the squareness of the Fantastic Four comics in the 1980s and 1990s, the role of the FF in starting the mighty Marvel superteams, the FF as adventurers and not crime-fighters or world protectors, the weakness of Dr. Doom in all of the FF movies, Dr. Doom and his ridiculous hand-acting, the arbitrary nature of Reed and Ben's relationship with the Storms, doing Mole Man without Mole Man, the weirdness of young Sue and slightly less-old Reed's relationship, expert/ fanboy blind spots, parallels with Batman v. Superman, still not as big of a failure as Supergirl, Clink's hatred for plasticity powers (he left out Flatman of the Great Lakes Avengers!), Reed's real power set, the superiority of the Michael Chiklis Thing, Doom needs to be sent to HR, the strange proportions of the Thing suit, issues with the 2005 FF movie, lurving laughing and loving, the OP nature of the Silver Surfer and Galactus, some love for Jack Kirby and the Thing's mighty brow, the immense dumbness of outflying a laser, and a shoutout to MF Doom (RIP)! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    The Apple (1980) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2021 68:38


    “And you can stick it anywhere!” The Distinguished Professors take a big, sloppy bite out of the infamous 1980 movie musical The Apple! Topics discussed include the dystopian future of 1994, the doing of the BIM, this movie's insistent heterosexuality running against the disruptive queerness of the musical, contrast with The Rocky Horror Picture Show (released the previous year), the potential future musical season of your favorite podcast, the critique of capitalism and the music industry, parallels with Xanadu and the Village People musical, Alphie's suckiness, yet another connection to Showgirlsand every other movie about the film industry, comparison to Across the Universe, the awfulness of “How to Be a Master” and “Showbizness,” the East German airport dance number, the musical origins of modern gay pop culture in Wizard of Oz, the hard limits of what this movie shows us sex-wise, possible influence on Zoolander, the return of the sparkly-bearded bad guy, the excessiveness of Shake, the laziness of the cinematography and editing, the slapdash ending and the lack of real consequences, the redemptive power of Alphie's seed, a parallel between Interscope Records and Golan and Globus's Cannon Films, an extended callout to David Sirota's Back to Our Futureand this movie's mistimed nostalgia for the 1960s, multiple Poochie references, a comparison to the similar treatment of 1980s selfishness in Wonder Woman 1984, and people's stunning inability to plan for the mandatory BIM exercise period. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    The Ice Pirates (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2021 58:15


    “I hope no one minds, but I have no intention of facing this sober.” The Distinguished Professors engage in some Errol Flynn-style hijinks and privateering in search of the solidified state of water with the 1984 movie The Ice Pirates! Topics covered include a water as a post-apocalypse MacGuffin yet again, the star-studded cast, the questionable PG status of this movie, comparison with Princess Bride and a connection to Jason and the Argonauts, fairly broad comedy, MIT's space piracy program, the slow start, the B-movie omnipresence of late-stage John Carradine, parallels with the overly busy plot of Galaxina, Earth as the end of the quest, the weakness of the Rock' Em Sock' Em-looking robots, an uncomfortable moment for pirate HR, a time-displaced Tesla bike, another sci-fi appearance of the vagina dentata, parallel with Deathstalker 2's LOL-less humor, a jive-talking pimp robot, a fairly diverse 80s sci-fi cast, comparison with Space Raiders, the aptness of the swashbuckling soundtrack, the unsolved father-daughter subplot, the dumbness of the space herpes subplot, the inconsistency of the time warp (and a preview of our future time-travel season!), the pointless of the end fight and a comparison with the end of Breaking Dawn Part 2, and Robert Urich: Frog Gigolo. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Cyborg (1989) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2021 57:51


    Cyborg – 1989 “I like the death. I like the misery! I LIKE THIS WORLD!” This week the Distinguished Professors go back in time to the golden era of the career of Belgian dance-brawler and split-doer Jean-Claude Van Damme and watch Cyborg, a movie consisting entirely of slow-motion fighting and screaming. Topics covered include mistimed sound cues, the unsanity of our times, El Doobie, the steampunkiness of the costumes due to their origins with the sequel to Masters of the Universe and other film detritus, Golan and Globus/Cannon Films, the JCVD dancing GIF, our misremembering of the deadly splits scene, the lousy and unnecessary opening narration, the weakness of the cyborg effects, the weird lack of plague in this plague movie, the weird menace of Vincent Klyn, the other films of Albert Pyun and the omnipresence of Brick Bardo, the cyborginess of the titular cyborg, the use of the “skinjob” slur from Blade Runner, the mystery of maintaining of order in a lawless gang, the origin of the term “gunslinger,” a plug for The Dark Tower series, Gibson's teenage boy-approved arsenal, the 80s relic of the action movie catfight, no water shortage plot device in this one, a quick recovery from being crucified, the link between hypermasculinity and homoeroticism, the temporary resurrection of every JCVD villain in the climactic fight, and our plans for the next season of your favorite (whoosh) podcast. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2021 58:28


    “You have aroused the three snakes!” This week the Distinguished Professors watch Rowdy Roddy Piper as the fertile meathead of the future in Hell Comes to Frogtown! Topics covered include a post-post apocalypse movie, the best action movie hero name ever (Sam Hell), identifying the accurate level of sexism for this movie, the butch hotness of Centinella, the one-note instrument of Mr. Piper, the old guys need to explain that the WWE was once the WWF, the eternal question of where pubic hair actually begins, the weird connection between this movie and the awfulness of Rollergator, a Hell Comes to Frogtown – 1988 into in medias res, the same setting used in Kirk's classic battle againstthe Gorn captain, 80s lingerie does no favors for the skinny, Chekov's necklace given to Centinella, the incredibly thin metaphor of “the dance of the three snakes,”comparisons with Y: The Last Man and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, the solidness of the frog costumes, yet another reference to Mel Gibson's leather pants, comparisons with Mad Max: Fury Road and Flash Gordon, the old mengo on about classic video stores, a brief detour into polyamory with the ending, and Piper's inability to say “blouse.” --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    The Gay Deceivers (1969) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2021 71:15


    “I just think it's a bit much.” The Distinguished Professors celebrate Pride Month by watching The Gay Deceivers, released mere months after Stonewall. Topics covered include Flatrock Distillery, Ted Nugent's plan to avoid Vietnam, Elliot's status as a gigolo, Michael Greer's role in saving this movie, the weird collapsing of cross-dressing and pedophilia into homosexuality, the status of gay marriage at this point, the Woodman article {“Why Don't Your Take Your Dress Off and Fight Like A Man”), the mostly sympathetic portrayal of gay folk, Elliot's experience of gay stigma, excessive reaction shots when Elliot is watching Malcolm in the kitchen, the comedy misfires, gayness and comedians, the film's deeper acknowledgement of gay stigma, the conflicting endings, Malcolm's happy ending, the viral flower scene and Malcolm's over the top flamboyance, Craig is the hidden hero of this movie, our love of ascots, FDR's portrayal in Annie, Neil Patrick Harris playing a super-straight character, more on Michael Greer, our mourning of the passing of the windbreaker, the naming conventions of gay bars, Vanderpool as the ideal for society, Colonel Dixon, Procrutes vs. Antaeus, more great moments from Malcom, Elliot's possible discovery of his sexuality, mooring vs. docking, the heavy feeling of paranoia, Elliot's inability to perform, the role of this movie as a time capsule similar to Cruising (directed by William Friedkin, not de Palma), the role of Judy Garland as a camp icon, our expectation that Elliot would discover that he's gay at the end, Elliot's exploration of empathy, the dumbness of the final twist and Vietnam as a substantial killer of fun, and the rug's name is Beulah. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Tank Girl (1995) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2021 53:23


    “Feeling a little inadequate?” Join the Distinguished Professors on yet another post-apocalyptic encounter with the riot grrrl version of Mad Max, Tank Girl! Topics discussed include Shirley getting above his station, British sci fiction comics' tendency to be set in not-Britain, offensive British accents, similarities with Turbo Kid, use of comic art in the movie, Courtney Love's supervision of the great soundtrack, the Super Mario Bros. problem of imposing plot on a plotless franchise, lovin' us some Portishead, Malcolm McDowell as the villain in everything, water as a plot device, a tangent about LaVar Burton as a villain with McDowell in Tomorrow's Target, a plug for Berres's D&D podcast Dungeons & Decisions, Ice-T's appearance as a pissed-off kangaroo, relating the Rippers to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' group dynamics, the ubiquity of James Hong, weird pacing problems, Iggy Pop's pedophile role, the Busby Berkeley dance sequence, our plan for a gritty reedit, the awesomeness of Body Count, the missile bra, an anti-plug for Ultraviolet, freedom = excess of water, the tank as a character, the curse of origin stories in comic movies, mutual blackmail material, and the impracticality of having a hologram head. Follow us on Facebook for videos and more: https://www.facebook.com/BecauseYouWatchedStarcrash/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    She (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2021 60:25


    “I have mastered your god! Accept me! Now!” This week your favorite Distinguished Professors confront the Italian 1984 Sandahl Bergman vehicle and H. Rider Haggard re-envisioning She! Discussion topics include the distinct lack of Haggard's version of She in this version, the racism and colonialism of the original, similarity to Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, the glory days of Skinemax and USA Up All Night, the necessity for more boobs, a quick intervention for Vanderpool, the fusion of barbarian Renaissance Faire and Western garb, Hercules/ Ercole/ Machiste connection, video game similarities, the rockin' Rick Wakeman soundtrack, Nixon in '88, the editing ate the story, the runners-up for quote of the movie, our new band Leper with a Chainsaw, on-air production notes, sexual assault and a call back to Supergirl, the workings of werewolf orgies, discount Robin Williams, Godan's Communism, a long Superman Returns digression, the definition of a fop, speculations about the true target audience, the dubious responsibility of being a goddess, and a pronoun connection to Her. Follow us on Facebook for videos and more: https://www.facebook.com/BecauseYouWatchedStarcrash/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Zardoz (1974) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2021 72:39


    “The monster is a mirror, and when we look at him, we look into our own hidden faces.” Today the Distinguished Professors do that which all lovers of movies of questionable quality must do: we watched Zardoz, the movie that made the world endure Sean Connery's excessive hairiness spilling out of a red leather diaper. Topics discussed include the toilet-esque nature of our signature “whoosh,” the highmalarky ratio, comparison with 2001, the pointless floating-head narrator, the androgyny of the Eternals, the future is yet again saved by a hypermasculine dude, the goodness of the gun and the badness of the penis, the complexity of the layers of society, comparisons to Gulliver's Travels and Dune, the prologue that gives away everything, Zed's boner, the lack of sustainability of a murder-based society, Clink's theory that the Brutals would be immortal if the Exterminators didn't kill them off, bad Connery impressions, Michael Moorcock's Elric, the constant meeting-hell of the Eternals, Consuela was on Dexter much later on, the cheapness of shooting on an Irish estate, speculated connections with Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring, the pointlessness of Friend as a stand-in for Arthur Frayn/ Zardoz, the reallyshort list of other movies starting with a Z, the role of fake art, unnecessary deviation into Look Who's Talking and M*A*S*H, the lack of irony or thought in the selection of background art in this movie, Shirley usurps Vanderpool's role in asking us what we learned, Zed kills the dumbass within, the misogyny of the ending, the creation of a new age, our attempt to figure out if this is a pre-, during, or post-apocalyptic movie, and the rejection of the unfettered imagination by the ‘70s. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021) – Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2021 71:44


    “Everyone, this is Alfred. I work for him.” Welcome back to Because You Watched Starcrash's extended exploration of Zack Snyder's really long movie! You demanded it, and fanboys, you're gonna get it. Topics covered include Vanderpool's inability to use anything resembling human grammar to open the show, the intense awfulness of Eisenberg's Lex Luthor, Thanos and Deadpool as Marvel ripping off DC, Luthor's puppet master role in Batman v. Superman, the weirdness of being a voice actor, Luthor's origins in the comics and changes over time into a corporate villain, Patrick Dempsey and that Transformers movie he's in, art's realness, the Atlanteans suck, Luthor's motivation to hate Supes and simultaneously ally with Darkseid, the New Gods (minus Big Barda), DC/ WarnerBrothers' lack of movie coordination, the Avengers Acura commercial, the independence of Wonder Woman's opening scene and Diana's change in perspective, a debate of the uselessness of resets in podcasting, Nazis as the universal movie villain, the verticality of 4:3 ratio, the invisibility of editing, excessive shots that don't advance the story, the nebulousness of the Anti-Life Equation, the Anti-Life Equation as ripped off by Jesse Ventura vehicle Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe, Darkseid's power set, Silas Stone's death, Supes's black outfit and its various meanings, the brighter palate of the Whedon cut, black and white being about contrast, the terrible Leto Joker, the inevitable ranking of Jokers, the self-indulgence of the Batman apocalypse vision, the Joker's hypersanity, why Diana is better than the other Amazons, Bruce Wayne's dumb horse, and Alfred's fussing over the tea. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021) Part 1 - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2021 60:42


    “Oh, you're good. You almost had me.” The Distinguished Professors share their thoughts on the fanboy-demanded Snyder Cut of Justice League. Topics covered include the awful Justice League of America tvpilot that we covered in Season 2, a very brief reminder of good stuff Joss Whedon created in the past, butt shots for everyone, Berres confuses old movie snobs Robert DeNiro and Martin Scorsese, Frank Miller, Aquaman and the Atlanteans suck,Namor and the Atlanteans suck, the lousy air bubble effect, Jeremy Irons as Alfred, the blockiness of Batfleck, past and present Bruce Waynes, the 4:3 aspect ratio and IMAX, the role of Cyborg in this story, Ray Fisher and Charisma Carpenter's statements against Whedon, limits of watching on HBO Max, theories about how to properly begin this movie, Flash as a Whedon character, differences in tone between the MCU and the Snyderverse, the satirical side of Frank Miller, Steppenwolf's motivation, run time opinions and what could be cut, lack of plans fora DC cinematic universe, Gal Gadot should be the next Indiana Jones, Cyborg's touchdown, problems with the hierarchy of power levels and Darkseid's first appearance in the movie, problems with Amy Adams being cast as Lois Lane, change in direction for Pa Kent in this movie, a brief defense of Enchanted, the superiority of Margot Kidder and Teri Hatcher in the Lois role, the centrality of Lois to keeping Clark good and the video game Injustice, Mallrats and Larry Niven's “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” essay, humans always bury our part of the magical macguffin, questions about the origins of the Amazons, modern DC heroes as the new gods (more on the actual New Gods next episode), and our discussion ofwhat super powers we'd want. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Natural Born Killers (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2021 73:46


    “Whole world's comin' to an end, Mal.” The Distinguished Professors give into fate and face off against Oliver Stone's crazed take on the Bonnie and Clyde story, Natural Born Killers. Topics include the mystery of Owen, the symbolic end of our world and the beginning of a new one, apocalypse as revelation, John Milton's love of Satan, our inability to say “apocalyptic” or “cinematography,” Woody Harrelson's heel turn from Cheers, Juliette Lewis getting typecast, Rodney Dangerfield's even more horrifying heel turn, Wayne Gale as our viewpoint character, Charles Starkweather and Charles Whitman and Charles Manson, the critique of TV culture and parallels with Robocop,the 1990s' greatest hits of true crime, Stone's errors in seeing himself as a crusaderand the failure of JFK, Tarantino's original script, ubiquitous Dutch angles, musing about what Tarantino's version would have looked like, American Maniacs, Vanderpool resolves to not be the weakest link, Leave it to Beaver as an early distortion of reality through TV, Mallory as the sympathetic center of the movie, the amazing Russell Means and Native American imagery as another layer of meaning, the ambiguity of Kevin, the Trent Reznor-supervised soundtrack, Steven Jesse Bernstein and the opening montage, 89X out of Detroit, the wedding scene, the metaphysical reading of the movie and Mickey as a god, NBK as a magical working, chaos magic, American Mary, Charles in Charge and the Electric Hellfire Club's cover of the show's theme, the very special episode of Diff'rent Strokes and the juxtaposition of sitcom elements with Mallory's backstory, a perfect reset, why it's important to not be so eager, our plug for why everyone needs to see this movie, Tommy Lee Jones cannot sanction your tomfoolery, the awfulness of Scagnetti, the guilt of the spectator and audience, being “lost in a world of ghosts,” the (eventual) redemption of Wayne Gale, British moral panic about NBK and Trainspotting, Mickey's more mysterious trauma and the link between murder and childhood trauma, Charles Whitman and the UT Austin shooting, blurring of hero and villain, Altamont and the Maysles, Moll Flanders and the audience's love of terrible people, our crisis of purpose when we talk about good movies, and why we shouldn't censorthe word “douchebag.” --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Dune (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2021 62:57


    Dune (1984) “My name is a killing word.” This week the Distinguished Professors discuss David Lynch's visionary tour de something, Dune. Topics discussed include josting, Clink's babyface status, the movie's ambitious failures, the nature of spice, parallels with The Lion King, Toto's guitar-heavy soundtrack, information overload, the role of Princess Irulan as the narrator, the awesomeness of Dune: The Storybook, the perils of trying to stick too close to the book, the Shakespearean tone, Dr. Berres puts in a plug for Frank Herbert's book, the hell of narration and the failure of the studio to trust the audience to figure out the plot organically, cognitive overload and too much information up front, inspiration for Galaxy Lords, parallels with Flash Gordon, pre- and during apocalypse movie, Star Wars' version of spice, David Lynch and David Fincher aren't the same guy, apocalypse as an unveiling or revelation here and in Natural Born Killers, Bob Morton as disinherited prince of the universe, Showgirls and the ruin of Kyle MacLachlan's career, mentat eyebrows, Patrick Stewart's rockin' mullet, Sting and his full commitment to the character, the Litany Against Fear, convoluted naming, no women in space bikinis, the role of women in the story, the all-important pug, the gay coding of the Harkonnens, parallels with Aeon Flux, the weirding module, Muad'Dib's child soldiers, the plot's weird pacing, the backstory of the mentats, the logistics of milking a cat, bad animation, bad internal narration as thought bubbles, Baron Harkonnen as the height of the house's decadence, attempts to figure out how folding space works, overwhelming whiteness of the cast, our commitment to watch Ice Pirates in the future, Alia's tripping balls after killing the Baron, this is Scarface in space, Steven Johnson's Everything Bad is Good for You and a comparison between Taxi Driver and Joker, and why Oliver Stone isn't really a good director. Whoosh. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Turbo Kid (2015) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2021 57:58


    Follow us on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/BecauseYouWatchedStarcrash Turbo Kid – 2015 “This is my weapon! This is my gnome stick!” Fresh off of Mad Max, the Distinguished Professors (and their producer) dive into the totes-80s Quebecois awesomeness of Turbo Kid. It's the far future of 1997, and everyone is BMX-biking everywhere! Topics include Clink looking as old as the rest of us, the limits of surprising post-apocalyptic plots, Dr. Berres still hasn't watched Community, parallels with Rey's life as a scavenger in The Force Awakens, diegetic sound, Apple as a parody of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, the greatest of Michael Ironside, why the gore works here but didn't work in Galaxy Lords, “Strike first, strike hard, show no mercy!” and Cobra Kai, the “No Tomorrow” short and “Friends don't dismember friends!”, manly bubbles, the silent menace of Skeletron, the song taken from Rad, differences with Ready Player One, retrofuturism, J. J. Abrams's focus on pointless action and movement as plot, why we're better at talking about bad movies, clarification that Vanderpool was the one who selected Galaxy Lords, water as currency and differences with Dune, Soylent Green references, our selection of Lynch's Dune as the next movie pick, our ruminations on the souls of robots, comparisons with Mad Max, the gawkiness of our hero, parallels with Hobo with a Shotgun, the hero is a boring and nerdy teenager, parallels with City Limits, and “Eyes! Throat! Genitals!” --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Dragnet (1987) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2021 48:11


    R.I.P. The Emperor, aka Christopher Plummer. We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this bonus episode where Dr. Allen Berres, Michael Clink, and Mike Vanderpool discussed the 1987 masterpiece - Dragnet! “We believe bad sex and good drugs are the cornerstones of a great democracy.” In honor of our fallen spiritual spacebrother Christopher Plummer, we decided to veer away from our scheduled programming and watch 1987's Dragnet! Topics covered include the legendary Onion AV Club interview with Plummer, actors who love to work, Vanderpool's assertion that this is a perfect movie (the anti-Supergirl), turning a serious work into a loving parody, parallels with Austin Powers and Brady Bunchremake, changes to modern James Bond films, shoutout to the Bulletproof Screenwriting podcast, buddy comedy/ buddy cop film conventions, the role of the car chases in building characters and jokes, Dan Ackroyd's delivery as Friday, origins of the word “pagan,” tightness of the plot, Dabney Coleman's crazy southern lisp, pimp names and callbacks to Black Scorpion, Jack O'Halloran as the Clarence Boddicker of this movie, lifeguards don't dive in head first, the horror of Tom Hanks rapping, Shirley's disappointment that we're discussing a good movie, Plummer's underutilized villain, the role of televangelists as villains in 1980s movies, hilarious police torture doesn't quite hold up, speculation if Bill Murray could have played Streebek, Mazes and Monsters as the low point of Hanks's career, Clink's desire to see Hanks cast as a serial killer, our ongoing love of BosomBuddies, The Dead Pool and Jim Carey's forgotten early turn towards drama, the perfection of Harry Morgan as Gannon, why you can't give a message to an unconscious man, Gannon's weird willingness to believe that Friday was high enough to hallucinate the PAGAN rally, and Streebek's TV watch. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Mad Max (1979) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2021 52:05


    Mad Max – 1979 “Larger than life and twice as ugly!” Welcome back to Season 3 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash! This season, mirroring the collapse of whole damn world, is focused on apocalypse movies! Joining the Distinguished Professors is JC Shirley, our new producer and a podcaster in his own right (The Stuff Podcast with CJ and JC). We're starting off by tackling the blueprint for the modern pre-/ post-apocalyptic movie, 1979's Mad Max! Topics covered include a questionable rendition of the Welcome Back, Kotter theme, the budget of $300,000 (did I mention this was shot for $300,000?), Toecutter's symbolic resurrection as Immortan Joe in Fury Road, the difference between action movies and cult movies/ weird Australian movies, the brilliant low-budget movie Bender (no, not that one, and not that one either - watch it and make Vanderpool famous!), MM as a pre-apocalypse movie, Road Warrior as the template of the post-apocalypse movie, the double revenge plots, the wisdom of going on vacation in the middle of the apocalypse, comparison with Straw Dogs, comparison with Cyborg (stay tuned later in the season!), lines taken from AC/DC's “Live Wire,” parallels with Gibson's character in Lethal Weapon, George Miller as a director, the superiority of Fury Road, society falls apart but the roads are looking pretty good and the cars are still pretty cool, the highway patrol as just another gang, the unbearable loudness of the score, an uncomfortable suggestion of bestiality, the polymorphously perverse gang members as a precursor to the weird homophobia of The New Barbarians/ Warriors of the Wasteland, the breast-pillows, the safety-consciousness of the wild and crazy bikers, cheesy camera overcranking, the legendary awfulness of Michigan roads, over-accessorizing as the key to weird characterization, Gibson's super-tight pants, the foolishness of learning to juggle in order to impress girls (try drawing instead!), criteria for selection of apocalyptic movies for this season, comparison with Wall-E, losing the Mask of Zorro episode, intentional WTF moments, Max's Macgyver-esque turn at the end, Back to the Future 2 as a dystopian movie, Max's transition from a cop to a ganger, gang members as evil and crazy, the gunslinger as protector of civilization but outside of it (Shane), Batman beating the crap out of villains, “WOOOOOO!”, humans as the real monsters, and Australians don't drink Foster's. Movies mentioned as fitting the apocalyptic pattern that we don't actually end up watching: Wall-E, Falling Down, A Bug's Life, The Running Man, Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, Until the End of the World, Apocalypto, Blade Runner, Judge Dredd, Dredd, Shaun of the Dead, Zombie Strippers, Children of Men, They Live, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 2012, and Wake in Fright. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2021 65:15


    Michael Clink recommended this movie whose name is way too long! To conserve oxygen, we'll just call it Buckaroo Banzai! Dr. Allen Berres and Michael Vanderpool join Mr. Clink in exploring the theory that Jeff Goldbloom makes everything better! Mentioned in this podcast: Jean Gray Ms. Marvel Emma Frost W.D. Richter Peter Weller Robocop Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze The Venture Bros. Johnny Quest Jeff Goldblum Brazil Dune The Outsiders H.G. Wells The War of The Worlds Galaxy Lords Johnny Lewis Back to The Future Christopher Lloyd Ike Turner Tina Turner Bill Haley and His Comets The Facts of Life George Clooney John Lithgow Dexter Clancy Brown Spongebob Squarepants The Red Death Kitty Pryde Lewis Smith Melrose Place Ellen Barken Vincent Shiavelli The X-Files Gillian Anderson Better Off Dead Fast Times One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Yakov Smirnoff Dan Hedaya Thomas Clinchen The Lone Ranger Ferris Beuler's Day Off Andre 3000 Mantis Steel Billy Joel Star Wars MST3K Satellite of Love Star Trek Space Raiders The Shadow Zorro Hercules The Scarlet Pimpernel Robin Hood The Avengers Saga The Phantom Billy Zayn Alec Baldwin The Mummy Indiana Jones Superman Batman Samson Peter Parker Fight Club Octavia Butler Parable of The Sower Dr. Strangelove Natural Born Killers Falling Down Children of Men Cyberpunk Idiocracy 2012 Armageddon Watership Down (Netflix) Ant-Man Tom Cruise --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Justice League of America (1997) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2021 54:45


    What Dr. Allen Berres identifies as a "painful watch," daresay the most horrible film we have watched so far - the TV movie spectacular Justice League of America! Let's see if Michael Vanderpool and Michael Clink agree! Mentioned in this episode: Friday - The Movie Batman Justice League of America (1997) Velocipastor Kitty Pryde X-Men X-Men - Animated Series circa 1990's Incredible Hulk - Pilot Spiderman - Pilot Pumaman Batwoman The Flash The Santa Clause Picard Band of Brothers Miguel Ferrer The Detroit Boys Clueless Absent The Martian Manhunter The Falcon Ant-Man The Avengers Deadpool David Ogden Stiers M*A*S*H Fire Fire and Ice WeatherMan Weather Wizard Superman (Animated Series) Tora Olafsdotter Iron Man III Hank Pym Galaxy Lords Birdemic The Room Vincent Gallo Batman: Dark Knight Rises Twilight 50 Shades of Grey Green Lantern Guy Gardner Alex Ross Kathy Ireland Denise Croft Barry Allen Gilligan's Island FRIENDS Sharknado Stephen King Avengers (2012) Captain America Iron Man The Vision The Lego Movie Lego Batman The Joker The Last Temptation of Christ Willem DaFoe The Phantom Billy Zane The Shadow Alec Baldwin The Blade The Blade II Mystery Men The 5th Element Back to The Future --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Darkman (1990) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2021 60:20


    Dr. Allen Berres subjects us to the Sam Rami "Spider-Man prequel"! He is joined by Michael Vanderpool and Michael Clink into Liam Neeson's foray into superhero stardom! Mentioned in this podcast: Liam Neeson Sigourney Weaver Darkman Sam Raimi Spider-Man Tim Burton Batman Danny Elfman Tobey MacGuire The Phantom of the Opera Quasimodo Hunchback of Notre Dame Frankenstein Deadpool The Simpsons Liam Neeson The Joker Conrad Veidt The Man Who Laughs Metropolis The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari Nicolas Cage Mission Impossible Tom Cruise The Count of Monte Cristo Thomas James The Punisher Garth Ennis John Travolta Star Wars: Revenge of The Sith Peter Weller Robocop Naked Lunch Larry Drake Cyborg Cop II Star Wars Back to The Future The Karate Kid L.A. Law Daredevil Jessica Jones Adventures in Babysitting Ted Raimi Bruce Cambpell Bubba Ho-Tep John F. Kennedy Elvis Presley Ossie Davis Luke Cage Silence of the Lambs - The Musical Robocop - The Musical Michael Jackson Mission Impossible (modern edition) Rush Limbaugh Rube Goldberg Darkman 2, 3, and 4 Velocipastor Justice League of America (1997) Buckaroo Banzai Fantastic Four Sharknado --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Black Scorpion (1995) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2021 61:56


    In this episode, Michael Vanderpool, Michael Clink, and Dr. Allen Berres discuss the 1995 Roger Corman production - Black Scorpion. Join our dynamic trio in the superhero spectacular a person in a mask and a black suit fights crime in a dark and dingy city. And no, it's not Batman! Mentioned in this episode: Black Scorpion Black Scorpion TV Show Roger Corman Supergirl Batman Batman II Back to The Future Three O'Clock High Robin Bougie Catwoman Jane Severance Scarlett Johansson Blake Snyder Save the Cat! Top Gun Val Kilmer Robocop Starship Troopers Robert A. Heinlein Foster Brooks Joseph Campbell Spiderman Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse Bladerunner CalendarMan The Upper Crust AC/DC Galaxy Lords Starcrash Jack Nicholson Half-Baked Dave Chapelle Jim Brewer Bob Saget Tim Burton The Rise of Skywalker Jim Wynorski Jonathan Winfrey Fantastic Four Billy Zane The Incredible Hulk Blankman Dark Knight Returns Frank Miller Daredevil Deadpool The Punisher Wolverine Ben Affleck Peter Parker Tobey MacGuire Wonder Woman Justice League Diana Prince Casey Semasco Darkman Stephen King Dark Half Sam Ramey Peter Jackson Lord of The Rings Duckman Howard the Duck Jason Alexander Darkwing Duck --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Ho-Ho-Holiday Special 2020 Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2020 55:52


    In this episode, we discuss the Staw Wars Holiday Special and Satan Clause Conquers the Martians! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Robocop (1987) & The Crow (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2020 55:47


    In this episode, the three amigos discuss Detroit's Dynamic Duo of superhero/revenge films - Robocop and The Crow. Mentioned in this episode: Paul Verhoeven Showgirls Saved By The Bell A Star Is Born Starship Troopers Brandon Lee Rapid Fire Grindhouse Frank Miller Arnold Schwarzenegger Sylvester Stalone Jean-Claude Van Damme Velocipastor Mel Gibson Lethal Weapon Lady in The Lake Hardcore Henry Darkman Jessica Jones Daredevil Luke Cage Superman Batman Ronnie Cox Kurtwood Smith The Incredible Hulk Returns Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Lisa Gibbons Special Victims Unit Sam Ramey Nancy Allen Idiocracy Total Recall Quinten Tarentino Detroit Tigers Star Wars: The Last Jedi Natural Born Killers The Punisher J.O'Barr Ghostrider Galactus Dr. Doom Deadpool The Flash Italian Spiderman Diehard Timm Burton Batman- Tim Burton movie Blank Man TinTin Funboy T-Bird Skank Bai Ling Three Extremes Gary Oldman The Fifth Element Black Scorpion Gilligan's Island X-Men Michael Wincott James Gammon Robin Hood Miguel Ferrer JLA George Clooney The Doors Wolverine Buckaroo Banzai Jeff Goldblum Peter Weller Dexter Star Trek: The Next Generation --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Blankman (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2020 54:50


    Welcome to Season 2 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash! This is the Superhero Season, where the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres, and Michael “Clinker” Clink watch some classic and not-so-classic superhero movies. This episode is about the not-so-classic superhero movie Blankman. If you were hoping for a dissection and analysis of this movie, you've come to the wrong place! Strap in for a wild ride through one big, giant WTF moment! Mentioned in this episode: Blankman Tiger King Damon Waynes David Alan Grier Holly Robinson Robin Givens Head of The Class Mike Tyson Batman Tobey Maguire Superman Lois Lane Captain America Daredevil Adam West Kung Fury Homey D. Clown Star Wars Kingpin King Tut The Joker The Riddler The Penguin Egghead Cesar Romero Mr. Calendar Burgess Meredith Star Trek The Mad Hatter The Clock King Marcia the Queen of Diamonds Victor Buono Rube Goldburg Goonies Wonder Woman Supergirl - CW Series Christopher Lawford Peter Lawford The Rat Pack Watchmen R2-D2 Austin Powers Mini Me James Bond Black Widow Han Solo Longshot Domino The Punisher Sean Connery Silence of The Lambs Hannibal Lecter Dr. No Danger Diabolik Italian Spiderman Thor Incredible Hulk Returns Kung Fury Danger 5 Robin Seduction of The Innocent Fredrick Wertham Warner Brothers Green Hornet Bruce Lee Bucky Barnes Tim Burton Aunt Mae - Spiderman The Tick Arthur - The Tick. Superman II Uncle Ben - Spiderman Iron Man Bud Abbott Lou Costello Bing Crosby Bob Hope Dean Martin Jerry Lewis Biff Back To The Future Larry Flint Jason Alexander Pumaman Black Scorpion Mantis The Flash -1990's Black Scorpion- II and TV Show --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2020 51:50


    Welcome to Season 2 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash! This is the Superhero Season, where the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres, and Michael “Clinker” Clink watch some classic and not-so-classic superhero movies. In this episode, they cover Zorro: The Gay Blade, and discuss if wearing a gold, shiny outfit and having a name like Bunny Wigglesworth are qualifications to be a superhero! This whole movie (and episode) is filled with WTF moments, so strap in, and get ready! Mentioned in this episode: Zorro: The Gay Blade Supergirl Galaxy Lords George Hamilton Kids in The Hall Scott Thompson Hannibal Zorro The Mark of Zorro The Simpsons Brenda Vaccaro Mel Brooks Young Frankenstein Frankenstein Dracula Spiderman - 1978 Batman DC Comics Mr. Terrific Lex Luthor Dirk Benedict James Bond Love at First Bite Jim Carrey Once Bitten Three's Company John Ritter Lauren Hutton Evil Knievel Castlevania Paper Lion Paper Lion Detroit Lions Fozzie Bear Sheriff of Nottingham Robin Hood Men in Tights Cary Elwes Mel Simon Mel Brooks Paul SImon Porky's Porky's Revenge Will Ferrell Elf Steve Martin The Jerk Airplane Kentucky Fried Movie Liam Neeson Star Wars: Legends Looney Tunes William Shakespeare Rachael Green Friends Jennifer Aniston Victor Kiriakis Antonio Banderas Anthony Hopkins Obi-Wan Kenobi Luke Skywalker Joker Taxi Driver Die Fledermaus Grant Morrison Arkham Asylum Superman Monty Python: Holy Grail Winds of The Wasteland I Now Pronounce You: Chuck and Larry Back to the Future --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    wtf watched porky starcrash zorro the gay blade
    Pumaman (1980) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2020 43:29


    "Dinosaurs died out because they forgot how to love each other." Welcome back to another episode of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash! This episode focuses on the movie Pumaman, and really shows us the value of a good soundtrack. There were no “WTF” moments in this episode, but never fear, for the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Michael “Clinker” Clink and Allen Berres lead us to the end of the movie and leave us with some very important life lessons. Mentioned in this episode: Wolverine - Comic Book Bob Ross Pumaman Greatest American Hero Kobras Donald Pleasance Ernst Stavro Blofeld James Bond Tony Vadinho Supergirl Peter Parker Spider Man (1978) Chuck vs The Tango Mystery Science Theatre 3000 DeathStalker 3 Jumper Salem Witch Trials Galaxy Lords Phantom Billy Zane Danger. Diabolik Fay Dunnaway Peter O'Toole Mia Farrow SuperSonic Man (1979) Greatest American Heroine Star Crash Warriors of The Lost World Back to The Future Peggy Sue Got Married Olympus Has Fallen Wyatt Earp Tombstone Dream a Little Dream Corey Feldman Monty Python Incredible Hulk Returns Captain America: Civil War Doc Oc Tobey Maguire Spider-Man Superman: The Movie Mary Jane Lois Lane Batman: The Dark Knight Watchman Lex Luthor --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

    Flash Gordon (1980) - Because You Watched Starcrash

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2020 56:18


    Welcome to Because You Watched Starcrash! In today's episode, the intrepid explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres and Michael “Clinker” Clink reflect on their experience watching the 1980's movie Flash Gordon. They summarize the movie, recall their trademark “WTF” moments, favorite quotes, and all the other weirdness. Mentioned in this episode: Community Pulp Fiction Jennifer Connelly VelociPastor Queen Flash Gordon -1980 Flash Gordon Comics Star Wars Saga The Rocky Horror Picture Show X-Men Comics -1970's era The Fiddler on the Roof Star Wars- The Rise of Skywalker The Beatles Star Trek - Original Series Rocky IV Deep Roy Charlie and The Chocolate Factory Max Von Sydow Fu-Man-Chu Prof. Edward Said Turner Classic Movies - Cable TV Batman - comic books and serials Buster Crabbe Buck Rogers in the 25th Century DC Comics Marvel Comics C. Montgomery Burns The Simpsons John Carter of Mars - book series and movie Supergirl - movie Galaxy Lords Justice League of America Wolverine The Hulk - comics Chris Clairmont Old Man Logan Hook and Dagger. Cloak and Dagger- TV show, movie and comic book Superman - comics and movie GI-Joe He-Man Masters of the Universe Dolph Lundgren Sam Jones Skeletor Frank Langella Shakespeare King Cobra Shrek Missile to The Moon The Room 2001: A Space Odyssey Back to Our Future Uncle Sam Undersea Kingdom Ted Brian May Mel Brooks The Schwartz - (Spaceballs) Buckaroo Banzai RoboCop (1987) The Crow - movie --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/because-you-watched/support

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