Podcast appearances and mentions of Santa suit

Mel Harris joins Kate & CG and they get into how an optician was charged for soliciting sex for eye glasses and eye care in the Philly area. Then they talk about how a couple was forced to sit next to a dead woman on an airplane. They also discuss how fame often magnifies a person's flaws, Mel's Santa Suit experiences, and the congestion fee in NYC. Follow on IG: @thekatewolff @cg.wolff @comedianmelharrisSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/invasion-of-privacy/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Virginia and the Department Store Santas.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Why was I so sure Santa had a full head of hair? Maybe he wore that big pointy hat for a reason. Maybe my original instincts had been right, and now I'd rejected Santa twice! I had to find out for sure. So I went back to the street corner where he worked. There he was, ringing his bell, just as sexy as ever. I felt the same tingling in my nether regions as I'd felt before. I went up to him, and when he saw me he just about fell over.“What the fuck are you doing here?”I was surprised that Santa had a potty mouth.“I just wanted to…” but I couldn't think of anything to say. So I jumped up into his arms and kissed him, breathing in his cinnamon smell again. But after a few seconds he pushed me back and held me at arm's length, looking left and right nervously.“Look, the other night… that was… fuckin' amazing. But you should know… I'm a married man.”“Of course you are,” I replied. “Everybody knows that. I just…” but I trailed off again. Nothing came to mind. So I tried to kiss him again, but this time he held me at bay with his bell.He whispered under his breath, “Really, I can't do it. I'd love to, don't get me wrong. But I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I mean, you're a nice girl, I'm sure, but I love my wife. She'll kill me if she so much as suspects I've been fuckin' around. She'll kill you too. So, do us both a favor and go find some other Santa Claus to screw.”I looked at him, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. That didn't sound much like Mrs. Claus. I doubted she could kill anyone. “I might just do that, Santa… if you really are Santa. I just want to ask you one question first. Do you like eggnog?”“Do I what?”What was he, deaf? “Do. You. Like. Egg. Nog?”“Fuck no. Can't stand the stuff.”How disappointing.But I took his advice and started checking out all the street corner Santas I could find. This was New York City. There was one on every corner. I looked at hundreds of Santas over the next couple of weeks, trying to be a little more circumspect than I'd been the last time. No, I didn't fuck any of them. For one thing, most of them were obviously fake. Fake beards, fake bellies, fake ho, ho, ho's. I could easily rule out Black Santas, Hispanic Santas, and Asian Santas. Not because I'm a racist… it's just that Santa's white. Everybody knows that.But some of them had real beards. They were so cute! I didn't think they were the real Santa, like I had the first guy, but I needed to be absolutely sure. So I got in the habit of kissing any street corner Santa who had a real beard. I'd just walk right up to them and plant my lips on theirs. I could usually tell right away that they were fake. But it wasn't always that easy. On at least a dozen occasions I had to make out with a would-be Santa for a long time before making up my mind. Not that every Santa let me kiss them. I suppose some of those guys were gay, others shy, or maybe in love with their wives. But it was obvious to me that any Santa who didn't want to kiss me just couldn't possibly be the real deal. Anyway, none of those street corner Santas inspired me to take it farther than making out.Well… that's not true. I did give a double blowjob one night.About three weeks before Christmas, I came across two very convincing Santas who were working right across the street from each other. They looked to be in their late sixties, early seventies and had long curly gray beards, little rosy cheeks, and twinkly eyes. Their Ho, ho, ho's were impressive, easily cutting through the traffic noise. They were wearing identical suits… in fact; everything about them looked the same. I couldn't decide which one was best, so I picked out one, totally at random, walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. He looked at me with surprise in his big blue eyes. But he kissed me back, not missing a beat. Maybe he'd heard stories about the notorious ‘Santa kisser' that had made the evening news. He was a pretty good kisser. He smelled like he'd recently eaten a piece of pumpkin pie. Nice. I knew right away that he was the real Santa. I'd found him at last!But then I thought about the other Santa across the street. He looked just like this one. Maybe I'd made another mistake. So I broke away, crossed the street and kissed the Santa Number Two. He reacted almost exactly like the Santa Number One and was just as good a kisser. This one was definitely the real Santa! I was certain of it! But…his eyes… his face… well, they were almost identical to Santa Number One. I felt intense confusion.I went back across the street and kissed Santa Number One again, this time really making out with him, tongues entwining. He hugged me and I loved the feel of his flabby arms enveloping me. He even squeezed my ass, which made my pussy tingle. It felt like magic. After a nice long kiss, probably five minutes, I skipped back across the street to French-kiss Santa Number Two. By this time both of them were smiling, wondering what the hell was going on and where it all might lead.Santa Number Two's kiss was virtually indistinguishable from Santa Number One's. The only discernible difference between them was that Santa Number Two smelled more like applesauce than pumpkin pie. But that wasn't enough of a difference for me to decide between them. So I figured that it was better to be safe than sorry. I crossed back over to Santa Number One, took his gloved hand in mine, and started to pull him across the street.“Whoa,” he said. “I can't leave my donation box.”“Gosh, Santa,” I said, “I was thinking about giving you a blow job. But if you'd rather not…”“The hell with the donations”, he said, a definite Santa-like twinkle lighting up his old eyes.I led him across the street to Santa Number Two and took his hand in my other hand. I started to lead them toward a nearby alley.“Hey, what's going on? I can't leave my…”“Trust me,” said Santa Number One, “Leave it. Just, leave it.”I walked hand in hand… in hand with the two Santas into the alley. I stood them up against a brick wall between a couple of dumpsters. It doesn't sound very romantic, but there was a nearby window rimmed with multicolored Christmas lights, illuminating everything with a magical colorful glow. I looked at their faces appraisingly. They really did look amazingly similar to each other, even from up close. One of these men was the real Santa; I knew it with all my heart, but which one? It was a real conundrum.I kneeled on the snowy ground at their feet. Santa Number Two said, “What the hell…”Santa Number One said, “Shhhh. Don't fuck this up for me. Oh… fuck.”He said that last bit because I had pulled his pants and tidy whities down with a nice solid yank. Then I pulled the Santa Number Two's pants down. They both had long red coats on, so I tucked the fuzzy white tails up into their big black belts, so that I could compare their penises without anything hanging in the way. Number Two's penis was not visible at all, actually. It was turtled back in his fatty balls. But Santa Number One's penis was already emerging from hibernation and getting larger and longer by the second, probably because he'd had longer to think about what I was going to do to him than Number Two.I took Santa Number One's cock into my mouth first. It was so tiny, my chin was buried in his balls, and his big belly was resting on top of my head. But I felt him growing against my tongue, and fast! I'd never sucked a guy before, although I'd seen pictures and movies. But seeing and doing are two different animals. I sucked and slurped and was amazed at how fast his cock was getting harder and longer and fatter. It was doubling then quadrupling in size. It was magical. I took Santa Number Two's teeny little wiener in my fingertips, and he too started growing and hardening. It was quite fascinating. When Number One was about five inches long, I switched to sucking Number Two and enjoyed the sensation of his cock swelling in my mouth just like Number One's had. I could actually feel the warm blood coursing into it from his excited body.After a minute or two, I went back to sucking Santa Number One, and now he was rock hard and almost seven inches long, but still growing. What an amazing transformation! I felt Number Two's cock hardening to exactly the same length in my hand. When they were both as hard and as long as they were ever gonna be, I took another look. Freaky. They had the same exact cock. Not just the same size (almost eight inches), but the same pattern of veins ran down their shafts in the same places. And boy, were they beautiful. Although these guys had wrinkly faces their cocks were smooth and sleek. There was nothing old about that part of their anatomy (except the white curly hairs that surrounded them).Santa Number One was impatiently watching me just look at his cock, so he grabbed my short black hair and pushed himself into my mouth again. I looked up at him with my elfin eyes, and he looked down at me over his belly, and I felt an amazing rush. I was sucking Santa Claus's dick! It's something I'd dreamed about many times, and now I was actually doing it! Then I felt Santa Number Two poking his dick against my cheek so I went back to sucking him for a while. Looking up at his intense, jolly, wrinkly, fat, old face, I was certain that I was sucking the real Santa's cock… but the other Santa was just as real to me! It was really quite trippy. I started going back and forth between their warm, steamy cocks, giving each one maybe three or four sucks while jerking the other one with my hand. I did this in the fairest way possible because I wouldn't want to offend the real Santa by showing too much attention to the fake Santa. It was fun, actually, trying to keep them both excited at the same time.It was a cold night. Steamy clouds illuminated by colorful Christmas lights were billowing out of my nose and mouth and dancing around their slick wet cocks. It was a beautiful sight. I felt so much love flowing through me, I began to hum, 'Oh, Holy Night' as I sucked Santa and/or Santa. Their facial expressions were so tense, but so full of joy, I was sure that, regardless of anything else, I was finally showing my appreciation to my lifelong hero.I kept picking up the pace and intensity, bit by bit, minute after minute, until they were groaning and having trouble staying on their feet from pleasure. Toward the end I was just giving each one a single deep and powerful suck before switching to the other, all the while jerking them strongly with my hands which were lubricated with the copious amounts of saliva I was drooling all over them. Both Santas grabbed the top of my head at the same time, and their bodies went stiff. I felt the cum shooting up through their cocks with my hands and then…Santa Number Two was the winner! He came about five seconds before Santa Number One. When he began to spurt, I took his cock in my mouth and felt the unique and wonderful sensation of cum slogging against my tongue. I tried to hold it all in, not wanting to spill any of it on my nice new sweater. But I forgot about Santa Number One. I was still jerking him so he suddenly came all over the side of my face and hair. I turned to put him in my mouth before he splashed me again, but then Santa Number Two spurted again, painting the other side of my face. It was dripping off me, all over my new sweater. But I thought, ah, what the heck. That's what dry cleaners are for. So I just jerked them both, aiming their quivering cocks at my face. I squeezed out a couple more jets of white stuff, opening my pretty mouth wide to catch as much as possible. I got some of it, but for the most part they frosted me like a freshly baked cinnamon roll.When I was done, I swallowed their cum… but it didn't taste particularly Christmassy. I had no better idea who the real Santa was than before. Sure, Number Two had cum sooner, but actually, it seemed like Santa Number One had cum a little more. But then again, what does any of that prove? I couldn't think of a single Christmas carol about Santa's semen skills.So I looked at them, my hands holding their dripping cocks, my elfin face and short hair zigzagged with streaks of shiny white goo and asked, “So, do either one of you like eggnog?”That really tickled them. They laughed their jolly laughs and said simultaneously, with the same voice, “I love eggnog!”“Boy. You Santas could almost be twins.”They looked at each other, then down at me and said, at the same time, “We are twins.”“Dang it!” I yelled. I stood up and threw my arms up in the air in frustration. “Santa doesn't have a twin brother! Dang it! Dang it! So, that means… what? Neither of you is the real Santa?” I kicked over a trashcan, sending the contents flying, “I just blew two fake Santas at the same time? Oh that's just great!”They looked at me with growing concern on their faces. They nervously pulled their pants back up and began to back away from me, toward the street.“What does a girl have to do to find the real Santa Claus?” I shouted angrily to the heavens. Then I gave out a little roar of frustration. Okay, it was a big roar of frustration. What can I say? I was frustrated! When I looked again, the twin fake Santas were gone, leaving me dripping with cum, but totally Santa less.I should let you know that experiences like this weren't as depressing as you might think. Oh, it was a sore disappointment that neither of them turned out to be the real Santa, but I took consolation in the fact that I'd given two nice old guys a fabulous memory to look back on. And I absolutely loved every second of it. That's how it is with sex addicts. The sex is always enjoyable. It's just the consequences that suck. The consequence for me was that one day instead of going to work, I went Santa-hunting and never went back. I had a lot of money saved up, but I didn't know how long it would last. New York is an expensive city to live in.But I tried not to think about that and kept looking for Santa. And a few more days of finding only shabby street Santas, I started thinking maybe I was setting my sights too low. Maybe I needed to check out department store Santas. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I remembered they had some really believable ones at the store I worked at when I was nineteen. So I did a little recon and was happy with what I found. Those guys almost always had real beards and jolly faces and bowls full of jelly and all the rest of it. But I couldn't just walk up to them and kiss them. They were surrounded with kids, elves, photographers, and store managers.So I would wait in line with the kids, and when it was my turn I'd sit on Santa's lap.“Well, if it isn't little Virginia!” he'd sometimes say, magically knowing my name without me even telling him.And then he almost always said, “And how are you today, little girl?” even though it was obvious I wasn't all that little.I'd always say something like, “I just wanted to apologize for doubting you, Santa. I should have baked those cookies for you last Christmas Eve. I know how much you look forward to them every year. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll never forget again.”Sometimes Santa would say, “Oh, don't worry about it. Mrs. Claus thinks I eat too many cookies as it is! Ho! Ho! Ho!” or something like that.There was always a long line of kids behind me, so I had to decide fast whether he was the real Santa or not. Usually, it boiled down to whether he knew my name without me having to tell him.Eventually, each one would say, “Now tell me what you want for Christmas, Virginia?”If he was fake, I'd say, “Please convey my apologies to the real Santa, if you see him.”But if he was the real Santa, I'd lean in way close and whisper into his ear, “What I want for Christmas is for you to fuck me Santa. Tonight. My place. Wear your Santa Suit.”Then I'd kiss his ear, slipping my tongue inside to make sure he knew I wasn't kidding around. Then I'd press a little Christmas card into his hand, which contained my address, name and phone number, as well as a photo of me holding my skirt up, exposing my pussy, just so he knew I wasn't a cop or something.It didn't always work out as planned. During the period I was vetting department store Santas, I chose ten true Santas. Of those, three never contacted me. A fourth Santa totally freaked out, called store security and had me ejected from the premises. But six other department store Santas… well, they were lonely oldish fat guys, who'd never been propositioned by a skinny little hottie like me. They couldn't pass up the opportunity.But I didn't think about it that way at the time. Each and every time I thought I'd finally found the real Santa, and each and every time I believed that he and I had made a real connection.Sam once told me that the definition of insanity is doing the same stupid thing again and again expecting different results. But Sam's a Grinch. I'm not insane. I'm an optimist! What's wrong with that?So, I had sex of one sort or another with six department store Santas, but it wasn't all wham bam, thank you ma'am. No, I put on Christmas music and baked cookies for them, and if they were nice, we'd make out and I'd give them a blowjob or handjob or maybe even jump their bones, always with me on top and fully clothed (except for panties). I was too shy to let Santa see my breasts. After he ejaculated on me or in me, I'd always offer to make dinner for him. At some point in every evening I would realize that this man wasn't the real Santa after all. I tried to cover my disappointment with a smile; I would never be rude to a guest. Sometimes after dinner they wanted to have sex again, and if they were nice enough about it and had been considerate enough to wear their Santa suit, I'd comply, though with a bit less enthusiasm. But I never accepted an invitation for a second date. I wasn't a slut, after all!All this time I'd been working my way from store to store. My final stop was… well, the terms of the gag order prohibit me from naming the place… But if you've ever seen a particular movie about a particular Santa who works at a particular New York department store and goes on trial to prove he's the real Santa, well you probably know which store I'm referring to. The Santa there is reputed to be the one true Santa! I went there Christmas Eve afternoon knowing that it would be my last chance this year to find the real Santa. I was feeling very optimistic.Santa's North Pole takes up the entire eighth floor of the department store. The waiting line is a long, winding path through a fantasyland of beautifully lit Christmas scenes with cheerful music playing and happy helpful 'elves' capering about. It really got me into the Christmas spirit, I guess, because by the time I had my turn with Santa, my panties were dripping wet, and I was panting with lust.I was ushered by an elf into a small, decorated room, in which Santa was sitting on a glittery red, white, and gold throne. Oh. My. God. He was beautiful!!! Like a radiant messiah dressed in holiday style. He had a lush, velvety red Santa suit. His face was glowing with youth, yet wrinkled with wisdom. His eyes were full of ancient knowledge, yet sparkling with childlike mischief. His booming laugh was the sound of love itself. He welcomed me with open arms.“Ho, Ho, Ho, Virginia! It's been ages since I saw you last!”My heart was aflutter. He was better, realer, and more magical than any of those fake Santas. This was really, truly, the one and only Kris Kringle himself!There was one other person in the room with us, a female elf about college age, who offered to take pictures if I'd brought a camera. I pretended that I'd misplaced my purse. I must have dropped it in the line. Maybe she could go look for it for me? She was so helpful. What a sweetie. She left me alone with Santa. I locked the door behind her, but quietly so Santa wouldn't notice.I hopped up on his lap. I put one hand nonchalantly on his inner thigh. My hand was only inches from his Santahood, and my fingers tingled with the knowledge that his sex was so close. So deliciously close. I looked up at him with doe eyes and giggled like a kid. I sucked my thumb shyly, oozing innocence. He was looking at me with a weird expression. He couldn't tell how to read me. I was obviously in my late twenties, but why was I acting so coy? Was I just fucking with him, or was I trying to seduce him? He didn't know, but I could definitely see interest in his eyes.Santa made clever small talk, much cleverer than any of the other Santas and happily played along with my little girl act while trying to pretend he didn't notice my tight little ass on his knee or the way my hand kept squeezing his upper thigh whenever I giggled. I wondered if he could tell I wasn't wearing any underwear. I enjoyed feeling the softness of his velvety trousers on my pussy lips. I babbled to him in kid talk, all the while bopping my legs in a ridiculous parody of a child. I could feel him getting a little uncomfortable with my increasingly obvious efforts at seduction. He tried to shift his weight to get his crotch further back from my hand, but I just reached farther under his belly until the edge of my hand was pressing into the side of his growing erection.“Uh, Santa's getting a little uncomfortable, Virginia. Maybe you could stand for a while.”“Okay Santa, I stand up.” I said with an obscenely cute little giggle. Then I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled myself up so I was standing with my feet on top of his knees. By that time I'd kicked off my shoes. He didn't know what to do. I basically had my crotch a few inches above his face.“Oh, look Santa,” I said and then pulled the front of my skirt up, so he could see through his little round glasses that I wasn't wearing any panties. He was looking right at my totally shaven pussy, which was open and glistening wet. His eyes opened wide. He backed up into his chair, but he couldn't take his eyes off the delicate flower hovering temptingly just a few inches from his cherry red nose. He froze. Stunned. His arms were sticking straight out to the left and right. He didn't know what to do with them.“Kiss me, Santa. Kiss me on the lips,” I whined petulantly. I'd never done this with a Santa before, but there was something special about this one. I moved my pussy closer to his face until he could smell the cinnamon scented perfume I'd anointed myself with. The fold on top of my clitoris touched his nose, but he didn't kiss me, so I put one foot up on his shoulder and pressed my pussy fully into his face. I could feel the tingly softness of his moustache on my labia. He groaned a deep lingering groan that vibrated into the depths of my vagina. His tense body relaxed, and a moment later I felt his tongue slip inside me. It was a transcendent moment of pure bliss. He began licking and lapping me, and now his gloved hands were on my naked ass, and now they were running up under my sweater to cup my breasts (I wasn't wearing a bra this time). Oh, boy, I loved the sensation of those soft leather gloves on my naked flesh. They had fur cuffs that tickled my belly as he fondled me.His tongue, his long thick tongue, was deep inside me. He began nodding, so his rosy red nose could flick my clitoris. Oh, Santa. So wise in the ways of love. I knew he was an ancient soul, perhaps thousands of years old. I guess you can learn a lot if you have that much time to practice.I felt a wave of pleasure so intense and overwhelming that I began to moan, “Oh fuck! Santa! Lick my pussy! Lick my wet pussy! Oh fuck yeah!!!” I was no longer pretending to be a little girl. I was a woman. I got louder and louder until my voice morphed into wordless shrieks of orgasmic ecstasy.I heard the elves pounding at the door. I knew I was running out of time so I hopped off his legs onto the floor. I pulled and yanked at his pants. It made his butt slide forward to the front of the throne. The pants must have been a little loose, because they slid right off, exposing his ten-inch cock. It was so pale, it seemed to emit a magical glow.He looked down at me, proud to show me his cock. His sweet old face now had an expression of pure carnal desire. He said, “What do you want for Christmas, little girl?”I hopped sideways onto Santa's lap and said, “I want you to fuck me, Santa!”He lifted me with one arm under the small of my back and the other under my thighs. Then he lowered me onto his big hard cock with his strong, sure hands, finding my pussy with the first try.“Fuck!” he yelled hoarsely as his cock entered me. He was so big and long! I was so tight! But we fit together perfectly.“Oh!” I moaned, feeling every inch of him penetrate me. Then he began to lift me up and down on his cock. So strong! So sure! I lifted my sweater up to my chin so Santa could see my tits bounce as he fucked me. I hadn't shown them to any of the other Santas. But I wanted this Santa, the truly real and only Santa, to see every inch of me. He looked down at my perky, round breasts, his eyes wild with lust. He leaned forward and took my hard nipple into his mouth. The feel of his beard tickling my skin drove me wild. All the time he was impaling me on his cock with amazing strength, as if I were weightless.“Oh shit,” I groaned loudly, “Fuck me, Santa! Fuck my tight little pussy! Oh god, your cock is so big! Oh god, oh god, oh god… I'm cumming! I'm cumming!”I trembled in the most powerful orgasm of my life (up to that time), and he kept fucking me, ignoring the pounding of the elves. The door started to bend, but it held.He shouted, “No, don't come in! I'm perfectly fine! Go away!”He stood up and put my feet on the seat of the throne with my back to him. I crouched down, offering him my pretty little tushie. I was just low enough for his cock to slide up into my pussy. Oh god, he felt twice as long this way! The head of Santa's cock reached all the way into me and pressed against my womb. It hurt, but I could barely feel the pain through the haze of pleasure that filled my body from head to toe. And now he began thrusting himself in and out of me with an ancient power he must have inherited from the gods of old. He had one strong hand on my shoulder, the other on my waist. He fucked me with growing speed and firmness, and within half a minute, he shot the magic of Christmas deep inside me.“Oh yeah, Santa, fill me up! Fill me up with your sperm!! I want to have your babies!!!!”I think that last statement may have shocked him back to his senses. Either that or the act of cumming did the trick. Either way, he let go of me, stumbled backwards, tripped on his own drawers and fell sprawling on his back. Cum was still shooting out of his cock.That's when the elves broke open the door. There were four or five of them, with a couple of female security guards right behind. They saw everything, including Santa's naked cock shooting a jet of semen two feet into the air. And there I was, a young slip of a thing, standing with my back to him on the throne, torso turned watching him fall. My sweater and skirt were still pulled up, so the elves pretty much saw everything I'd been hiding from people most of my life.I don't know about you, but if I saw a scene like that, it would inspire years of masturbation fantasies. Not nightmares, like the elves later said in their depositions.But things were about to get worse… I was staring down at Santa, his head scrunched uncomfortably against the far wall. To my shock and massive disappointment, I could see the fat pad sticking out from under the tails of his red velvet coat. And I could see his real belly button. He was thin, with ripped abdominal muscles. Then I noticed how trim and muscular his legs were. And his silvery beard… it was peeling off around the edges.Dang. I didn't even need to give him the eggnog test. He was obviously a fake. His hair and beard and glowing skin were just makeup. And the dignity, wisdom and magic he had been exuding when I first entered the room were just parts of a practiced performance that he'd run on a million kids and adults before me. This guy wasn't old, fat, or wise! He was the worst fake of all. And I'd told this joker that I wanted to have his babies! I was disgusted! Well… not entirely. He'd fucked me better than any of them (my pussy zinged for hours afterwards). Still, I felt betrayed by the whole Christmas industry, which had tricked me into thinking this young college thespian was the real Santa.I pulled down my sweater and skirt. The Christmas party was over.To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

I love the dreams on today's show. Veronica thought she was having a dream about dying - she wasn't! It was telling her she's taking on too much responsibility for her adult son. You'll like that one. And then I discovered a truly unique and precious soul when I analyzed Julie' dream, "In search of food". What this woman does in her spirit form and is now bringing to the earth plane, is truly amazing!   Free Webinar about Spiritual Gifts https://www.dream-analysis.com/webinar   The Spiritual Dimension of Dreams Workshop https://www.dream-analysis.com/courses/the-spiritual-dimension-of-dreams-April.htm   Talk to Sandy about our courses https://bookings.theaislingschool.com/sandy/got-questions   Courses: https://www.dream-analysis.com/courses  Download Free dictionary: https://www.dream-analysis.com/  Submit your dream: https://www.dream-analysis.com/podcast  Show Archives: https://www.dream-analysis.com/podcasts/  Dream Clinic: https://aislingdreamclinic.com    Dreams on today's show The Santa Suit, Never Ending Supply of Pets, & the Things I Brought! Choosing the best brand In search of food / dropping things

The New Flying Hack! Check-in Chicken CryreBall News! Chef Liz drops in with some goodies from Gremlins and so much more! Follow us @RizzShow @MoonValjeanHere @KingScottRules @LernVsRadio @IamRafeWilliams > Check out King Scott's band @FreeThe2SG and Check out Moon's bands GREEK FIRE @GreekFire GOLDFINGER @GoldfingerMusic THE TEENAGE DIRTBAGS @TheTeenageDbags and Lern's band @LaneNarrows http://www.1057thepoint.com/Rizz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What better way to transition from the Halloween season to the Holiday Season than with the latest horror icon (and one that dons a Santa Suit in the latest movie)? That's right, this week we're talking about Damien Leone's Terrifier franchise, Art the Clown, and all the toys coming from ultra-violent indie horror darling in the latest edition of Toys on Film! Get Yourself some Terrifier goodies on Amazon from our #paidlink Follow us @aic_podcast on Instagram, Facebook, X, and YouTubeStart creating a podcast today with Zencastr! Learn more.Intro and other voices by Joe Azzarihttps://www.instagram.com/voicesbyjoe/Theme Music is "Game Boy Horror" by the Zombie DandiesProudly part of the Non-Productive Network

Today on Too Opinionated we sit down with the team behind the new movie, This Time!    This Time, a brand new powerful film that follows the story of closeted teen Grace Mitchum (Anwen O'Driscoll) who after inheriting her deceased father's journal discovers cryptic clues that uncover his secret life. Now to fulfill his dying wish, she must blackmail Red (Charles Martin Smith), an alcoholic hearse driver, to race her cross country to attempt a long shot rendezvous with her father's friend Liza Minnelli.   Robert Vaughn is known for his work on High Rise Rescue and The Santa Suit.   Jennifer Gibson is known for her work on Suits and A Dog's way home.    Charles Martin Smith is known for his work on The Untouchables, American Graffiti, Trick or Treat, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Dolphin Tale.    Want to watch: YouTube Meisterkhan Pod. (Please Subscribe)

Series 16, Episode 11 of The Old Man Gimbleby and The Other One Podcast! Remember to follow our podcast on your podcasting platform of choice, and give us a 5 star rating!   Support Us On Anchor - https://anchor.fm/best-and-the-other-one/support  Please Support Us On Patreon - https://bit.ly/39p1Eqt   Send a voice message in and it may end up in our podcast! - https://bit.ly/2XVwQ8G  Old Man Gimbleby's Twitter- https://bit.ly/3b5codC   Old Man Gimbleby's Email- emailforcollege3@gmail.com   Lauren Bucket's Twitter- https://bit.ly/3A3glMh   Lauren Bucket's Email - finnfinn3399@gmail.com Copyright © 2023 Milk Media™. All rights reserved. The content, scripts, and production of the "Old Man Gimbleby and The Other One Podcast," including but not limited to text, graphics, audio, and design elements, are the intellectual property of Milk Media™ and protected by international copyright laws. Any unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or public performance of this content, in whole or in part, without the explicit written consent of Milk Media™, is strictly prohibited. Any use of trademarks, service marks, or trade names belonging to Milk Media™ without permission is also prohibited. Listeners are granted the right to access and stream the "Old Man Gimbleby and The Other One Podcast" for personal, non-commercial use. Any other use of the content without the express written permission of Milk Media™ is strictly prohibited. For inquiries regarding the use or licensing of "Old Man Gimbleby and The Other One Podcast" content, please contact Milk Media™ at contact@milkmedia.com. Thank you for respecting the intellectual property rights of Milk Media™. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oldmang-and-the-other-one/support

❄️❄️❄️Do you remember when music videos were on cable tv? We don't either! Join us in this podcast where we watch music videos that we haven't seen before and talk ALL about them! Get our reactions and our thoughts and find out if we will stream these songs in the future! Got a video for us to react to? Send it to us on our instagram page @videovirginspod ! This week we are coming to you LIVE from - The Norte Pole FOLLOW us @johnbeforedawn and @joeistherealest  !!! Follow our special guest @ LAVQUIN and go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠feat. Video Virgins | lavquin.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to find ALL of our links THERE! This episode's music videos are: Rockin Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee, Fancy Like Christmas by Walker Hayes, I Believe In Santa by Meghan Trainor, Big Xmas by BigXthePlug, Christmas EveL by Stray Kids, Beautiful Christmas by Red Velvet x aespa, All Dat He Got by Erica Banks, Last Christmas by Lil Tjay & Fivio Foreign. First Brenda Lee is lipsyncing!? The Walker Hayes is gross kissing his mom. Then Jojo Siwa is getting to the bag! Then BigXthaPlug has a custom Santa Suit. Then Stray Kids is just that DBD expansion pack. Then Red Velvet doesn't even celebrate Christmas. Then Erica Banks too masculine? Then Fivio Foreign hood rich. https://youtu.be/TFsZy9t-qDc?si=MQ4brGeXF_B-2ad7 https://youtu.be/vSEswwYaANA?si=Cj90mlx9qRwW6CfL https://youtu.be/6upUnTTpNxo?si=AdaSm2HqQJq3Zzhn https://youtu.be/YmxPNVojRz8?si=UgitRNI4xnScmywu https://youtu.be/57n4dZAPxNY?si=EBx-8EJ7X6r4GKkV https://youtu.be/iTgcp1oDk2M?si=MdsiHHOYcvGKxiRm https://youtu.be/49EyKQASkhs?si=p3MwJFhiY8wL1E8P https://youtu.be/Ij_JSpkgJQE?si=IuV3Z8KvgpwLeIBF Dont forget to Like and leave a review!  Subscribe to our YOUTUBE - VIDEO VIRGINS and follow our Instagram @VIDEOVIRGINSPOD and our personal instagrams @JOEISTHEREALEST and @JOHNBEFOREDAWN

In the lead-up to Christmas, 1927, the good citizens of Cisco, Texas, were looking forward to celebrating the holiday with their nearest and dearest. But a group of men who rolled into town on the morning of December 23 from Wichita Falls had different ideas. Led by an ex-con in a Santa Suit, their actions at the town's First National Bank went on to spurn one of the state's biggest manhunts, ultimately leaving six men dead and numerous others wounded. What unfolded not just over the following week but the next couple of years afterward was equal parts a comedy of errors, a gripping tale of Wild West justice, and a tragedy for those who stepped up to protect and serve during one of the most audacious heists in Southern history. This is the story of the Santa Claus Bank Robbery. Hosted and produced by Erica Kelley Researched and written by Gemma HarrisOriginal Graphic Art by Coley Horner Original Music by Rob Harrison of Gamma Radio Edited & Mixed by Brandon Schexnayder & Erica Kelley Sources: https://southernfriedtruecrime.com/santa-claus-bank-robberyThis episode is brought to you by: They say time waits for no one, and neither should payday--See EarnIn.com/TOS for more details.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/2975465/advertisement

On This FOTD(OTW): Vaughan dons his Santa Suit, and delivers a full week of Christmas Facts!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Talent agencies are calling on New Zealanders to put on a red suit and give being Santa a go this year. Posing for a photo with Santa is an annual tradition for families but since Covid, fewer Kiwis are applying for the role.   Scene to Believe says demand from shopping malls has increased this year, and they're struggling to cover all the required shifts.  Veteran Santa Eric Diamond told Mike Hosking that it gives him the best satisfaction out of any job he's ever had.  He said that they're provided with the suit, a fan, and the job pays very well.  Diamond absolutely recommends taking up the hat to anyone interested in giving it a shot.  LISTEN ABOVE See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Merry Christmas! (Just don't let Joe Two hear you celebrate.) We're back with a bonus episode to commemorate the (first) time Kurt Russell donned the Santa Suit in The Christmas Chronicles, and it's a Christmas miracle... Dr. Chris Podcasts is here!  Please note that while this is a family friendly movie, it is far from a family friendly episode. After discussing our favorite Christmas movies (and learning some wild facts about A Nightmare Before Christmas), we run through the 2F2F Christmas movie history and explain the bill of goods that Joey sold Chris to appear on this episode. Joe pulls a Festivus and airs his Christmas grievances.  We try to suss out the "belief" logic in this movie's universe, talk about the weird timeliness of a specific line (and how it betrays what a Christmas movie "is"), and wonder if Santa is MAGA.  Joe invents a new watch. We all make a pledge for 2023. We pitch a sequel (and hope it's the story covered in The Christmas Chronicles 2). Email us: family@cageclub.me Visit our Patreon page at patreon.com/2fast2forever.  Show your support at the 2 Fast 2 Forever shop! Extra special shout-out to Ben Milliman, Alex Elonen, Nick Burris, Brian Rodriguez (High School Slumber Party), Hayley Gerbes, Justin Kleinman, Michael McGahon, Lane Middleton, Jason Rainey, Wes Hampton, and Mike Gallier for joining at the “Interpol's Most Wanted” level or above!  Intro music by Nico Vasilo. Interlude and outro music by Wes Hampton.

We are reviewing the fan-voted Christmas movie tournament. See what movie came in first place. Here's the movies: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)A Christmas Carol (2009)The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)Fred Claus (2007)Its A wonderful Life (1946)Jack Frost (1998)Die Hard (1988)This Christmas (2007)A Christmas Carol (1951)All I want for Christmas (1991)Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)Rent (2005)Home Alone (1990)Less Than Zero (1987)A Christmas Story (1983)the long kiss goodnight (1996)Miracle on 34th Street (1947)Diner (1982)Elf (2003)The Christmas Shoes (2002)Gremlins (1984)A Season for Miracles (1999)Bad Santa (2003)Brazil (1985)Scrooged (1988)The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (2008)Edward Scissorhands (1990)Four Christmases (2008)Trading Places (1983)Reindeer Games (2000)The Santa Clause (1994)Lethal Weapon (1987)Joyeux Noel (2005)I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998)The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)Deck the Halls (2006)The Shop Around the Corner (1940)November Christmas (2010)Happiest Season (2020)Eyes Wide Shut (1999)A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)silent night deadly night (1984)The Christmas Chronicles (2018)Friday After Next (2002)Love Actually (2003)Nothing Like the Holidays (2008)8-Bit Christmas (2021)Mrs. Miracle (2009)Silent Night (2002)Mixed Nuts (1994)The Night Before (2015)Frosty the Snowman (1969)Batman Returns (1992)Spirited (2022)Black Christmas (1974)Nativity! (2009)How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)Trapped in Paradise (1994)Last Christmas (2019)The Santa Clause 2 (2002)The Ref (1994)A very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)The Family Man (2000)12 Days of Giving (2017)A Boy Called Christmas (2021)bad moms christmas (2017)Krampus (2015)The Lemon Drop Kid (1951)The Polar Express (2004)Kristin's Christmas Past (2013)Better Watch Out (2016)12 Dates of Christmas (2011)Prancer (1989)Beyond Tomorrow (1940)White Christmas (1954)One Magic Christmas (1985)Shazam! (2019)Crown for Christmas (2015)The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974)Arthur Christmas (2011)How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)Holiday Affair (1949)Lovely, Still (2008)The Santa Suit (2009)Jingle All the Way (1996)Christmas With the Kranks (2004)Santa Claus is Comin' to Town (1970)Noel (2004)the preacher's wife (1996)Fatman (2020)Just Friends (2005)29th Street (1991)The Snowman (1982)A Christmas Tale (2008)Surviving Christmas (2004)A Christmas Detour Message (2004)The Little Drummer Boy (1968)The Nativity Story (2005)Serendipity (2001)A Chipmunk Christmas (1981)LOOK WHO'S TALKING NOW (1993) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/mass-debaters/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mass-debaters/support

Let's talk about the Santa Suit slaughterer Bruce Jeffrey Pardo. It's Day 9 of A Grave Podcasts 12 Days of Christmas Murders.

HEAR PLAY Audio Theatre's presents THREE WISE GUYS  by Scott Alan Evans & Jeffrey CouchmanBased on stories "Dancing Dan's Christmas" and "The Three Wise Guys" by DAMON RUNYONEpisode 2: Holiday Cheer in Great NeckIt was certainly a good thing that Dancing Dan decided to try on The Dutchman's Santa Claus suit when he did.  Otherwise who knows what Heine Schmitz might have done when he walked into Good Time Charley's speakeasy?  Well, actually, we know exactly what he would have done.  And it would not have been pretty at all.  The Santa Suit continues to bring good luck. For the three guys, who are desperate to get out of town but don't have a car to take them, have wrangled a deal to get one from Myrton, a butler for Mrs. Albright, of the Great Neck Albrights, who is in desperate need of a Santa to appear at her fancy holiday party.  Will Santa and his two “elves” be able to hold up their end of the bargain and bring Christmas cheer to the wayward boys and, indeed, to one and all...?THE ARTISTS:NORA CHESTER, JOEL DE LA FUENTE, STEVE FRENCH, JEFFREY C. HAWKINS, KARL KENZLER, JACK KOENIG, VICTORIA MACK, RON McCLARY, JOHN PLUMPIS, JASMINE RUSH, & DANA SMITH-CROLLSeries Host: SIMON JONESOriginal Music by JOSEPH TRAPANESEProduced, Engineered and Sound Design by DARYL BORNSTEINProduced, Directed and Adapted by SCOTT ALAN EVANSSupport the show

Today we're bringing you an extra episode for the holidays but don't be fooled, this is a very sad and tragic story from Christmas Eve 2008. We're talking about the mass murder committed by Bruce Jeffery Pardo and his ultimate demise.

What do Kevin Sorbo and Glenn Danzig have in common? They'll both hate me after this episode. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The countdown to Christmas is ON! Whether you're looking for the festive audiobook to listen to while shopping or gift wrapping, or a gift idea for the bookworm on your nice list, this episode is here for you. Olivia shares recommendations and future holiday favorites straight from her own TBR. This is followed by a revisiting of a festive 2021 conversation with New York Times bestselling novelist Mary Kay Andrews, author of THE SANTA SUIT.   Also mentioned in this episode: HOLIDAYS ON ICE, David Sedaris SKIPPING CHRISTMAS, John Grisham LOVE ALWAYS, CHRISTMAS, Karen Schaler ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS CAROL, Karen Schaler CHRISTMAS SHOPAHOLIC, Sophie Kinsella Once Upon a Book Club monthly subscription service:  https://www.onceuponabookclub.com/

Maniacs,Listener's Choice Holiday Episode! Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 149, a couple of People in Santa Suits have a bad Christmas, the king of pies makes an appearance and a cheetah cheater! GORE-O-METERBRITBOX Contesthttps://watch.britbox.com/us/oneway?utm_source=vanity&utm_medium=redirect&utm_campaign=onewayPie Shops https://www.facebook.com/GoldStarPatricksPies/ https://www.kiwikuisine.com/ Thanks again for listening! Mark & Sarah-----------------------------------Schedule for December Dec 20 - Midsomer Murders  S23 e02 Mini - "The Debt of Lies" Dec 27 - Midsomer Murders  S23 e03 Mini - "A Grain of Truth" Jan 3 - Midsomer Murders  S23 e04 Mini - "Dressed to Kill" Jan 4 - January Newsletter ------------------------------------NEWSLETTER: Keep up with all things Mystery Maniac through our newsletter! Signup here for free: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/------------------------------------Maniac Merch: https://midsomer-maniacs-podcast.myspreadshop.com/------------------------------------Connect with the Maniacs:Rate us on Spotify and Apple!Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/MysteryManiacsPodcastTwitter.com - https://twitter.com/mystery_maniacsSarah's twitter -https://www.twitter.com/intellagirlMark's Twitter - https://twitter.com/bell_typewriterIG - https://www.instagram.com/mysterymaniacspodcast/Email - mysterymaniacspodcast@gmail.comWeb - mysterymaniacspodcast.com

This week Val and Cat are reading The Santa Suit by Mary Kay Andrews and we both have very strong opinions about this book! We also discuss the most sacred holiday of the year Spotify Wrapped! And Cat has some tragic news, she has begun rewatching Glee, please everyone pray for her and her sanity. Feel free to follow and interact with us on our socials. Beware we discuss spoilers! IG: @whatyoumademeread Twitter: @mademereadpod Tik Tok: @lookwhatyoumademeread

We are sitting down with Freddie, and he is doing his very own 104 Christmas Movies tournament. Check out this episode to see what he think is the best movie from the Christmas movie. If you want to do your own tournament, please contact us, and we will set it up. Here are all the movies in the tournament: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) The Holiday (2006) A Christmas Carol (2009) The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Fred Claus (2007) Its A Wonderful Life (1946) Jack Frost (1998) Die Hard (1988) This Christmas (2007) A Christmas Carol (1951) All I want for Christmas (1991) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Ernest Saves Christmas (1988) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) Window Wonderland (2013) Home Alone (1990) All I want is Christmas (2012) A Christmas Story (1983) Christmas Mall (2010) Miracle on 34th Street (1947) A Grandpa For Christmas (2007) Elf (2003) The Christmas Shoes (2002) Gremlins (1984) A Season for Miracles (1999) Bad Santa (2003) Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever (2014) Scrooged (1988) The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (2008) Edward Scissorhands (1990) Four Christmases (2008) Trading Places (1983) Reindeer Games (2000) The Santa Clause (1994) A Boy for Christmas (2004) Joyeux Noel (2005) I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998) The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) Deck the Halls (2006) The Shop Around the Corner (1940) November Christmas (2010) Happiest Season (2020) Pete's Christmas (2013) A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) Next Stop, Christmas (2021) The Christmas Chronicles (2018) Friday After Next (2002) Love Actually (2003) Nothing Like the Holidays (2008) 8-Bit Christmas (2021) Mrs. Miracle (2009) Silent Night (2002) Mixed Nuts (1994) The Night Before (2015) Frosty the Snowman (1969) Batman Returns (1992) Holiday in Handcuffs (2006) Black Christmas (1974) Nativity! (2009) How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966) Trapped in Paradise (1994) Last Christmas (2019) Operation Christmas Drop (2020) The Ref (1994) A very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011) The Family Man (2000) 12 Days of Giving (2017) A Boy Called Christmas (2021) The Christmas Card (2006) Krampus (2015) The Lemon Drop Kid (1951) The Polar Express (2004) Kristin's Christmas Past (2013) Better Watch Out (2016) 12 Dates of Christmas (2011) Prancer (1989) Beyond Tomorrow (1940) White Christmas (1954) One Magic Christmas (1985) Shazam! (2019) Crown for Christmas (2015) The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974) Arthur Christmas (2011) How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) Holiday Affair (1949) Lovely, Still (2008) The Santa Suit (2009) Jingle All the Way (1996) Christmas With the Kranks (2004) Santa Claus is Comin' to Town (1970) Noel (2004) the preacher's wife (1996) Fatman (2020) Just Frineds (2005) Eight Crazy Nights (2002) The Snowman (1982) A Christmas Tale (2008) Surviving Christmas (2004) A Christmas Detour Message (2004) The Little Drummer Boy (1968) The Nativity Story (2005) Serendipity (2001) Alvin & the Chipmunks - A Chipmunk Christmas (1981) LOOK WHO'S TALKING NOW (1993) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/mass-debaters/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mass-debaters/support

Virginia and the Department Store Santas.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Why was I so sure Santa had a full head of hair? Maybe he wore that big pointy hat for a reason. Maybe my original instincts had been right, and now I'd rejected Santa twice! I had to find out for sure. So I went back to the street corner where he worked. There he was, ringing his bell, just as sexy as ever. I felt the same tingling in my nether regions as I'd felt before. I went up to him, and when he saw me he just about fell over.“What the fuck are you doing here?” I was surprised that Santa had a potty mouth.“I just wanted to…” but I couldn't think of anything to say. So I jumped up into his arms and kissed him, breathing in his cinnamon smell again. But after a few seconds he pushed me back and held me at arm's length, looking left and right nervously.“Look, the other night… that was… fuckin' amazing. But you should know… I'm a married man.”“Of course you are,” I replied. “Everybody knows that. I just…” but I trailed off again. Nothing came to mind. So I tried to kiss him again, but this time he held me at bay with his bell.He whispered under his breath, “Really, I can't do it. I'd love to, don't get me wrong. But I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I mean, you're a nice girl, I'm sure, but I love my wife. She'll kill me if she so much as suspects I've been fuckin' around. She'll kill you too. So, do us both a favor and go find some other Santa Claus to screw.”I looked at him, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. That didn't sound much like Mrs. Claus. I doubted she could kill anyone. “I might just do that, Santa… if you really are Santa. I just want to ask you one question first. Do you like eggnog?”“Do I what?”What was he, deaf? “Do. You. Like. Egg. Nog?”“Fuck no. Can't stand the stuff.”How disappointing.But I took his advice and started checking out all the street corner Santas I could find. This was New York City. There was one on every corner. I looked at hundreds of Santas over the next couple of weeks, trying to be a little more circumspect than I'd been the last time. No, I didn't fuck any of them. For one thing, most of them were obviously fake. Fake beards, fake bellies, fake ho, ho, ho's. I could easily rule out Black Santas, Hispanic Santas, and Asian Santas. Not because I'm a racist… it's just that Santa's white. Everybody knows that.But some of them had real beards. They were so cute! I didn't think they were the real Santa, like I had the first guy, but I needed to be absolutely sure. So I got in the habit of kissing any street corner Santa who had a real beard. I'd just walk right up to them and plant my lips on theirs. I could usually tell right away that they were fake. But it wasn't always that easy. On at least a dozen occasions I had to make out with a would-be Santa for a long time before making up my mind. Not that every Santa let me kiss them. I suppose some of those guys were gay, others shy, or maybe in love with their wives. But it was obvious to me that any Santa who didn't want to kiss me just couldn't possibly be the real deal. Anyway, none of those street corner Santas inspired me to take it farther than making out.Well… that's not true. I did give a double blowjob one night.About three weeks before Christmas, I came across two very convincing Santas who were working right across the street from each other. They looked to be in their late sixties, early seventies and had long curly gray beards, little rosy cheeks, and twinkly eyes. Their Ho, ho, ho's were impressive, easily cutting through the traffic noise. They were wearing identical suits… in fact; everything about them looked the same. I couldn't decide which one was best, so I picked out one, totally at random, walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. He looked at me with surprise in his big blue eyes. But he kissed me back, not missing a beat. Maybe he'd heard stories about the notorious ‘Santa kisser' that had made the evening news. He was a pretty good kisser. He smelled like he'd recently eaten a piece of pumpkin pie. Nice. I knew right away that he was the real Santa. I'd found him at last!But then I thought about the other Santa across the street. He looked just like this one. Maybe I'd made another mistake. So I broke away, crossed the street and kissed the Santa Number Two. He reacted almost exactly like the Santa Number One and was just as good a kisser. This one was definitely the real Santa! I was certain of it! But…his eyes… his face… well, they were almost identical to Santa Number One. I felt intense confusion.I went back across the street and kissed Santa Number One again, this time really making out with him, tongues entwining. He hugged me and I loved the feel of his flabby arms enveloping me. He even squeezed my ass, which made my pussy tingle. It felt like magic. After a nice long kiss, probably five minutes, I skipped back across the street to French-kiss Santa Number Two. By this time both of them were smiling, wondering what the hell was going on and where it all might lead.Santa Number Two's kiss was virtually indistinguishable from Santa Number One's. The only discernible difference between them was that Santa Number Two smelled more like applesauce than pumpkin pie. But that wasn't enough of a difference for me to decide between them. So I figured that it was better to be safe than sorry. I crossed back over to Santa Number One, took his gloved hand in mine, and started to pull him across the street.“Whoa,” he said. “I can't leave my donation box.”“Gosh, Santa,” I said, “I was thinking about giving you a blow job. But if you'd rather not…”“The hell with the donations”, he said, a definite Santa-like twinkle lighting up his old eyes.I led him across the street to Santa Number Two and took his hand in my other hand. I started to lead them toward a nearby alley.“Hey, what's going on? I can't leave my…”“Trust me,” said Santa Number One, “Leave it. Just, leave it.”I walked hand in hand… in hand with the two Santas into the alley. I stood them up against a brick wall between a couple of dumpsters. It doesn't sound very romantic, but there was a nearby window rimmed with multicolored Christmas lights, illuminating everything with a magical colorful glow. I looked at their faces appraisingly. They really did look amazingly similar to each other, even from up close. One of these men was the real Santa; I knew it with all my heart, but which one? It was a real conundrum.I kneeled on the snowy ground at their feet. Santa Number Two said, “What the hell…”Santa Number One said, “Shhhh. Don't fuck this up for me. Oh… fuck.”He said that last bit because I had pulled his pants and tidy whities down with a nice solid yank. Then I pulled the Santa Number Two's pants down. They both had long red coats on, so I tucked the fuzzy white tails up into their big black belts, so that I could compare their penises without anything hanging in the way. Number Two's penis was not visible at all, actually. It was turtled back in his fatty balls. But Santa Number One's penis was already emerging from hibernation and getting larger and longer by the second, probably because he'd had longer to think about what I was going to do to him than Number Two.I took Santa Number One's cock into my mouth first. It was so tiny, my chin was buried in his balls, and his big belly was resting on top of my head. But I felt him growing against my tongue, and fast! I'd never sucked a guy before, although I'd seen pictures and movies. But seeing and doing are two different animals. I sucked and slurped and was amazed at how fast his cock was getting harder and longer and fatter. It was doubling then quadrupling in size. It was magical. I took Santa Number Two's teeny little wiener in my fingertips, and he too started growing and hardening. It was quite fascinating. When Number One was about five inches long, I switched to sucking Number Two and enjoyed the sensation of his cock swelling in my mouth just like Number One's had. I could actually feel the warm blood coursing into it from his excited body.After a minute or two, I went back to sucking Santa Number One, and now he was rock hard and almost seven inches long, but still growing. What an amazing transformation! I felt Number Two's cock hardening to exactly the same length in my hand. When they were both as hard and as long as they were ever gonna be, I took another look. Freaky. They had the same exact cock. Not just the same size (almost eight inches), but the same pattern of veins ran down their shafts in the same places. And boy, were they beautiful. Although these guys had wrinkly faces their cocks were smooth and sleek. There was nothing old about that part of their anatomy (except the white curly hairs that surrounded them).Santa Number One was impatiently watching me just look at his cock, so he grabbed my short black hair and pushed himself into my mouth again. I looked up at him with my elfin eyes, and he looked down at me over his belly, and I felt an amazing rush. I was sucking Santa Claus's dick! It's something I'd dreamed about many times, and now I was actually doing it! Then I felt Santa Number Two poking his dick against my cheek so I went back to sucking him for a while. Looking up at his intense, jolly, wrinkly, fat, old face, I was certain that I was sucking the real Santa's cock… but the other Santa was just as real to me! It was really quite trippy. I started going back and forth between their warm, steamy cocks, giving each one maybe three or four sucks while jerking the other one with my hand. I did this in the fairest way possible because I wouldn't want to offend the real Santa by showing too much attention to the fake Santa. It was fun, actually, trying to keep them both excited at the same time.It was a cold night. Steamy clouds illuminated by colorful Christmas lights were billowing out of my nose and mouth and dancing around their slick wet cocks. It was a beautiful sight. I felt so much love flowing through me, I began to hum, ‘Oh, Holy Night' as I sucked Santa and/or Santa. Their facial expressions were so tense, but so full of joy, I was sure that, regardless of anything else, I was finally showing my appreciation to my lifelong hero.I kept picking up the pace and intensity, bit by bit, minute after minute, until they were groaning and having trouble staying on their feet from pleasure. Toward the end I was just giving each one a single deep and powerful suck before switching to the other, all the while jerking them strongly with my hands which were lubricated with the copious amounts of saliva I was drooling all over them. Both Santas grabbed the top of my head at the same time, and their bodies went stiff. I felt the cum shooting up through their cocks with my hands and then…Santa Number Two was the winner! He came about five seconds before Santa Number One. When he began to spurt, I took his cock in my mouth and felt the unique and wonderful sensation of cum slogging against my tongue. I tried to hold it all in, not wanting to spill any of it on my nice new sweater. But I forgot about Santa Number One. I was still jerking him so he suddenly came all over the side of my face and hair. I turned to put him in my mouth before he splashed me again, but then Santa Number Two spurted again, painting the other side of my face. It was dripping off me, all over my new sweater. But I thought, ah, what the heck. That's what dry cleaners are for. So I just jerked them both, aiming their quivering cocks at my face. I squeezed out a couple more jets of white stuff, opening my pretty mouth wide to catch as much as possible. I got some of it, but for the most part they frosted me like a freshly baked cinnamon roll.When I was done, I swallowed their cum… but it didn't taste particularly Christmassy. I had no better idea who the real Santa was than before. Sure, Number Two had cum sooner, but actually, it seemed like Santa Number One had cum a little more. But then again, what does any of that prove? I couldn't think of a single Christmas carol about Santa's semen skills.So I looked at them, my hands holding their dripping cocks, my elfin face and short hair zigzagged with streaks of shiny white goo and asked, “So, do either one of you like eggnog?”That really tickled them. They laughed their jolly laughs and said simultaneously, with the same voice, “I love eggnog!”“Boy. You Santas could almost be twins.”They looked at each other, then down at me and said, at the same time, “We are twins.”“Dang it!” I yelled. I stood up and threw my arms up in the air in frustration. “Santa doesn't have a twin brother! Dang it! Dang it! So, that means… what? Neither of you is the real Santa?” I kicked over a trashcan, sending the contents flying, “I just blew two fake Santas at the same time? Oh that's just great!”They looked at me with growing concern on their faces. They nervously pulled their pants back up and began to back away from me, toward the street.“What does a girl have to do to find the real Santa Claus?” I shouted angrily to the heavens. Then I gave out a little roar of frustration. Okay, it was a big roar of frustration. What can I say? I was frustrated! When I looked again, the twin fake Santas were gone, leaving me dripping with cum, but totally Santa less.I should let you know that experiences like this weren't as depressing as you might think. Oh, it was a sore disappointment that neither of them turned out to be the real Santa, but I took consolation in the fact that I'd given two nice old guys a fabulous memory to look back on. And I absolutely loved every second of it. That's how it is with sex addicts. The sex is always enjoyable. It's just the consequences that suck. The consequence for me was that one day instead of going to work, I went Santa-hunting and never went back. I had a lot of money saved up, but I didn't know how long it would last. New York is an expensive city to live in.But I tried not to think about that and kept looking for Santa. And a few more days of finding only shabby street Santas, I started thinking maybe I was setting my sights too low. Maybe I needed to check out department store Santas. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I remembered they had some really believable ones at the store I worked at when I was nineteen. So I did a little recon and was happy with what I found. Those guys almost always had real beards and jolly faces and bowls full of jelly and all the rest of it. But I couldn't just walk up to them and kiss them. They were surrounded with kids, elves, photographers, and store managers.So I would wait in line with the kids, and when it was my turn I'd sit on Santa's lap.“Well, if it isn't little Virginia!” he'd sometimes say, magically knowing my name without me even telling him.And then he almost always said, “And how are you today, little girl?” even though it was obvious I wasn't all that little.I'd always say something like, “I just wanted to apologize for doubting you, Santa. I should have baked those cookies for you last Christmas Eve. I know how much you look forward to them every year. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll never forget again.”Sometimes Santa would say, “Oh, don't worry about it. Mrs. Claus thinks I eat too many cookies as it is! Ho! Ho! Ho!” or something like that.There was always a long line of kids behind me, so I had to decide fast whether he was the real Santa or not. Usually, it boiled down to whether he knew my name without me having to tell him.Eventually, each one would say, “Now tell me what you want for Christmas, Virginia?”If he was fake, I'd say, “Please convey my apologies to the real Santa, if you see him.”But if he was the real Santa, I'd lean in way close and whisper into his ear, “What I want for Christmas is for you to fuck me Santa. Tonight. My place. Wear your Santa Suit.”Then I'd kiss his ear, slipping my tongue inside to make sure he knew I wasn't kidding around. Then I'd press a little Christmas card into his hand, which contained my address, name and phone number, as well as a photo of me holding my skirt up, exposing my pussy, just so he knew I wasn't a cop or something.It didn't always work out as planned. During the period I was vetting department store Santas, I chose ten true Santas. Of those, three never contacted me. A fourth Santa totally freaked out, called store security and had me ejected from the premises. But six other department store Santas… well, they were lonely oldish fat guys, who'd never been propositioned by a skinny little hottie like me. They couldn't pass up the opportunity.But I didn't think about it that way at the time. Each and every time I thought I'd finally found the real Santa, and each and every time I believed that he and I had made a real connection.Sam once told me that the definition of insanity is doing the same stupid thing again and again expecting different results. But Sam's a Grinch. I'm not insane. I'm an optimist! What's wrong with that?So, I had sex of one sort or another with six department store Santas, but it wasn't all wham bam, thank you ma'am. No, I put on Christmas music and baked cookies for them, and if they were nice, we'd make out and I'd give them a blowjob or handjob or maybe even jump their bones, always with me on top and fully clothed (except for panties). I was too shy to let Santa see my breasts. After he ejaculated on me or in me, I'd always offer to make dinner for him. At some point in every evening I would realize that this man wasn't the real Santa after all. I tried to cover my disappointment with a smile; I would never be rude to a guest. Sometimes after dinner they wanted to have sex again, and if they were nice enough about it and had been considerate enough to wear their Santa suit, I'd comply, though with a bit less enthusiasm. But I never accepted an invitation for a second date. I wasn't a slut, after all!All this time I'd been working my way from store to store. My final stop was… well, the terms of the gag order prohibit me from naming the place… But if you've ever seen a particular movie about a particular Santa who works at a particular New York department store and goes on trial to prove he's the real Santa, well you probably know which store I'm referring to. The Santa there is reputed to be the one true Santa! I went there Christmas Eve afternoon knowing that it would be my last chance this year to find the real Santa. I was feeling very optimistic.Santa's North Pole takes up the entire eighth floor of the department store. The waiting line is a long, winding path through a fantasyland of beautifully lit Christmas scenes with cheerful music playing and happy helpful 'elves' capering about. It really got me into the Christmas spirit, I guess, because by the time I had my turn with Santa, my panties were dripping wet, and I was panting with lust.I was ushered by an elf into a small, decorated room, in which Santa was sitting on a glittery red, white, and gold throne. Oh. My. God. He was beautiful!!! Like a radiant messiah dressed in holiday style. He had a lush, velvety red Santa suit. His face was glowing with youth, yet wrinkled with wisdom. His eyes were full of ancient knowledge, yet sparkling with childlike mischief. His booming laugh was the sound of love itself. He welcomed me with open arms.“Ho, Ho, Ho, Virginia! It's been ages since I saw you last!”My heart was aflutter. He was better, realer, and more magical than any of those fake Santas. This was really, truly, the one and only Kris Kringle himself!There was one other person in the room with us, a female elf about college age, who offered to take pictures if I'd brought a camera. I pretended that I'd misplaced my purse. I must have dropped it in the line. Maybe she could go look for it for me? She was so helpful. What a sweetie. She left me alone with Santa. I locked the door behind her, but quietly so Santa wouldn't notice.I hopped up on his lap. I put one hand nonchalantly on his inner thigh. My hand was only inches from his Santahood, and my fingers tingled with the knowledge that his sex was so close. So deliciously close. I looked up at him with doe eyes and giggled like a kid. I sucked my thumb shyly, oozing innocence. He was looking at me with a weird expression. He couldn't tell how to read me. I was obviously in my late twenties, but why was I acting so coy? Was I just fucking with him, or was I trying to seduce him? He didn't know, but I could definitely see interest in his eyes.Santa made clever small talk, much cleverer than any of the other Santas and happily played along with my little girl act while trying to pretend he didn't notice my tight little ass on his knee or the way my hand kept squeezing his upper thigh whenever I giggled. I wondered if he could tell I wasn't wearing any underwear. I enjoyed feeling the softness of his velvety trousers on my pussy lips. I babbled to him in kid talk, all the while bopping my legs in a ridiculous parody of a child. I could feel him getting a little uncomfortable with my increasingly obvious efforts at seduction. He tried to shift his weight to get his crotch further back from my hand, but I just reached farther under his belly until the edge of my hand was pressing into the side of his growing erection.“Uh, Santa's getting a little uncomfortable, Virginia. Maybe you could stand for a while.”“Okay Santa, I stand up.” I said with an obscenely cute little giggle. Then I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled myself up so I was standing with my feet on top of his knees. By that time I'd kicked off my shoes. He didn't know what to do. I basically had my crotch a few inches above his face.“Oh, look Santa,” I said and then pulled the front of my skirt up, so he could see through his little round glasses that I wasn't wearing any panties. He was looking right at my totally shaven pussy, which was open and glistening wet. His eyes opened wide. He backed up into his chair, but he couldn't take his eyes off the delicate flower hovering temptingly just a few inches from his cherry red nose. He froze. Stunned. His arms were sticking straight out to the left and right. He didn't know what to do with them.“Kiss me, Santa. Kiss me on the lips,” I whined petulantly. I'd never done this with a Santa before, but there was something special about this one. I moved my pussy closer to his face until he could smell the cinnamon scented perfume I'd anointed myself with. The fold on top of my clitoris touched his nose, but he didn't kiss me, so I put one foot up on his shoulder and pressed my pussy fully into his face. I could feel the tingly softness of his moustache on my labia. He groaned a deep lingering groan that vibrated into the depths of my vagina. His tense body relaxed, and a moment later I felt his tongue slip inside me. It was a transcendent moment of pure bliss. He began licking and lapping me, and now his gloved hands were on my naked ass, and now they were running up under my sweater to cup my breasts (I wasn't wearing a bra this time). Oh, boy, I loved the sensation of those soft leather gloves on my naked flesh. They had fur cuffs that tickled my belly as he fondled me.His tongue, his long thick tongue, was deep inside me. He began nodding, so his rosy red nose could flick my clitoris. Oh, Santa. So wise in the ways of love. I knew he was an ancient soul, perhaps thousands of years old. I guess you can learn a lot if you have that much time to practice.I felt a wave of pleasure so intense and overwhelming that I began to moan, “Oh fuck! Santa! Lick my pussy! Lick my wet pussy! Oh fuck yeah!!!” I was no longer pretending to be a little girl. I was a woman. I got louder and louder until my voice morphed into wordless shrieks of orgasmic ecstasy.I heard the elves pounding at the door. I knew I was running out of time so I hopped off his legs onto the floor. I pulled and yanked at his pants. It made his butt slide forward to the front of the throne. The pants must have been a little loose, because they slid right off, exposing his ten-inch cock. It was so pale, it seemed to emit a magical glow.He looked down at me, proud to show me his cock. His sweet old face now had an expression of pure carnal desire. He said, “What do you want for Christmas, little girl?”I hopped sideways onto Santa's lap and said, “I want you to fuck me, Santa!”He lifted me with one arm under the small of my back and the other under my thighs. Then he lowered me onto his big hard cock with his strong, sure hands, finding my pussy with the first try.“Fuck!” he yelled hoarsely as his cock entered me. He was so big and long! I was so tight! But we fit together perfectly.“Oh!” I moaned, feeling every inch of him penetrate me. Then he began to lift me up and down on his cock. So strong! So sure! I lifted my sweater up to my chin so Santa could see my tits bounce as he fucked me. I hadn't shown them to any of the other Santas. But I wanted this Santa, the truly real and only Santa, to see every inch of me. He looked down at my perky, round breasts, his eyes wild with lust. He leaned forward and took my hard nipple into his mouth. The feel of his beard tickling my skin drove me wild. All the time he was impaling me on his cock with amazing strength, as if I were weightless.“Oh shit,” I groaned loudly, “Fuck me, Santa! Fuck my tight little pussy! Oh god, your cock is so big! Oh god, oh god, oh god… I'm cumming! I'm cumming!”I trembled in the most powerful orgasm of my life (up to that time), and he kept fucking me, ignoring the pounding of the elves. The door started to bend, but it held.He shouted, “No, don't come in! I'm perfectly fine! Go away!”He stood up and put my feet on the seat of the throne with my back to him. I crouched down, offering him my pretty little tushie. I was just low enough for his cock to slide up into my pussy. Oh god, he felt twice as long this way! The head of Santa's cock reached all the way into me and pressed against my womb. It hurt, but I could barely feel the pain through the haze of pleasure that filled my body from head to toe. And now he began thrusting himself in and out of me with an ancient power he must have inherited from the gods of old. He had one strong hand on my shoulder, the other on my waist. He fucked me with growing speed and firmness, and within half a minute, he shot the magic of Christmas deep inside me.“Oh yeah, Santa, fill me up! Fill me up with your sperm!! I want to have your babies!!!!”I think that last statement may have shocked him back to his senses. Either that or the act of cumming did the trick. Either way, he let go of me, stumbled backwards, tripped on his own drawers and fell sprawling on his back. Cum was still shooting out of his cock.That's when the elves broke open the door. There were four or five of them, with a couple of female security guards right behind. They saw everything, including Santa's naked cock shooting a jet of semen two feet into the air. And there I was, a young slip of a thing, standing with my back to him on the throne, torso turned watching him fall. My sweater and skirt were still pulled up, so the elves pretty much saw everything I'd been hiding from people most of my life.I don't know about you, but if I saw a scene like that, it would inspire years of masturbation fantasies. Not nightmares, like the elves later said in their depositions.But things were about to get worse… I was staring down at Santa, his head scrunched uncomfortably against the far wall. To my shock and massive disappointment, I could see the fat pad sticking out from under the tails of his red velvet coat. And I could see his real belly button. He was thin, with ripped abdominal muscles. Then I noticed how trim and muscular his legs were. And his silvery beard… it was peeling off around the edges.Dang. I didn't even need to give him the eggnog test. He was obviously a fake. His hair and beard and glowing skin were just makeup. And the dignity, wisdom and magic he had been exuding when I first entered the room were just parts of a practiced performance that he'd run on a million kids and adults before me. This guy wasn't old, fat, or wise! He was the worst fake of all. And I'd told this joker that I wanted to have his babies! I was disgusted! Well… not entirely. He'd fucked me better than any of them (my pussy zinged for hours afterwards). Still, I felt betrayed by the whole Christmas industry, which had tricked me into thinking this young college thespian was the real Santa.I pulled down my sweater and skirt. The Christmas party was over.To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Virginia and the Department Store Santas.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Why was I so sure Santa had a full head of hair? Maybe he wore that big pointy hat for a reason. Maybe my original instincts had been right, and now I'd rejected Santa twice! I had to find out for sure. So I went back to the street corner where he worked. There he was, ringing his bell, just as sexy as ever. I felt the same tingling in my nether regions as I'd felt before. I went up to him, and when he saw me he just about fell over.“What the fuck are you doing here?” I was surprised that Santa had a potty mouth.“I just wanted to…” but I couldn't think of anything to say. So I jumped up into his arms and kissed him, breathing in his cinnamon smell again. But after a few seconds he pushed me back and held me at arm's length, looking left and right nervously.“Look, the other night… that was… fuckin' amazing. But you should know… I'm a married man.”“Of course you are,” I replied. “Everybody knows that. I just…” but I trailed off again. Nothing came to mind. So I tried to kiss him again, but this time he held me at bay with his bell.He whispered under his breath, “Really, I can't do it. I'd love to, don't get me wrong. But I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I mean, you're a nice girl, I'm sure, but I love my wife. She'll kill me if she so much as suspects I've been fuckin' around. She'll kill you too. So, do us both a favor and go find some other Santa Claus to screw.”I looked at him, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. That didn't sound much like Mrs. Claus. I doubted she could kill anyone. “I might just do that, Santa… if you really are Santa. I just want to ask you one question first. Do you like eggnog?”“Do I what?”What was he, deaf? “Do. You. Like. Egg. Nog?”“Fuck no. Can't stand the stuff.”How disappointing.But I took his advice and started checking out all the street corner Santas I could find. This was New York City. There was one on every corner. I looked at hundreds of Santas over the next couple of weeks, trying to be a little more circumspect than I'd been the last time. No, I didn't fuck any of them. For one thing, most of them were obviously fake. Fake beards, fake bellies, fake ho, ho, ho's. I could easily rule out Black Santas, Hispanic Santas, and Asian Santas. Not because I'm a racist… it's just that Santa's white. Everybody knows that.But some of them had real beards. They were so cute! I didn't think they were the real Santa, like I had the first guy, but I needed to be absolutely sure. So I got in the habit of kissing any street corner Santa who had a real beard. I'd just walk right up to them and plant my lips on theirs. I could usually tell right away that they were fake. But it wasn't always that easy. On at least a dozen occasions I had to make out with a would-be Santa for a long time before making up my mind. Not that every Santa let me kiss them. I suppose some of those guys were gay, others shy, or maybe in love with their wives. But it was obvious to me that any Santa who didn't want to kiss me just couldn't possibly be the real deal. Anyway, none of those street corner Santas inspired me to take it farther than making out.Well… that's not true. I did give a double blowjob one night.About three weeks before Christmas, I came across two very convincing Santas who were working right across the street from each other. They looked to be in their late sixties, early seventies and had long curly gray beards, little rosy cheeks, and twinkly eyes. Their Ho, ho, ho's were impressive, easily cutting through the traffic noise. They were wearing identical suits… in fact; everything about them looked the same. I couldn't decide which one was best, so I picked out one, totally at random, walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. He looked at me with surprise in his big blue eyes. But he kissed me back, not missing a beat. Maybe he'd heard stories about the notorious ‘Santa kisser' that had made the evening news. He was a pretty good kisser. He smelled like he'd recently eaten a piece of pumpkin pie. Nice. I knew right away that he was the real Santa. I'd found him at last!But then I thought about the other Santa across the street. He looked just like this one. Maybe I'd made another mistake. So I broke away, crossed the street and kissed the Santa Number Two. He reacted almost exactly like the Santa Number One and was just as good a kisser. This one was definitely the real Santa! I was certain of it! But…his eyes… his face… well, they were almost identical to Santa Number One. I felt intense confusion.I went back across the street and kissed Santa Number One again, this time really making out with him, tongues entwining. He hugged me and I loved the feel of his flabby arms enveloping me. He even squeezed my ass, which made my pussy tingle. It felt like magic. After a nice long kiss, probably five minutes, I skipped back across the street to French-kiss Santa Number Two. By this time both of them were smiling, wondering what the hell was going on and where it all might lead.Santa Number Two's kiss was virtually indistinguishable from Santa Number One's. The only discernible difference between them was that Santa Number Two smelled more like applesauce than pumpkin pie. But that wasn't enough of a difference for me to decide between them. So I figured that it was better to be safe than sorry. I crossed back over to Santa Number One, took his gloved hand in mine, and started to pull him across the street.“Whoa,” he said. “I can't leave my donation box.”“Gosh, Santa,” I said, “I was thinking about giving you a blow job. But if you'd rather not…”“The hell with the donations”, he said, a definite Santa-like twinkle lighting up his old eyes.I led him across the street to Santa Number Two and took his hand in my other hand. I started to lead them toward a nearby alley.“Hey, what's going on? I can't leave my…”“Trust me,” said Santa Number One, “Leave it. Just, leave it.”I walked hand in hand… in hand with the two Santas into the alley. I stood them up against a brick wall between a couple of dumpsters. It doesn't sound very romantic, but there was a nearby window rimmed with multicolored Christmas lights, illuminating everything with a magical colorful glow. I looked at their faces appraisingly. They really did look amazingly similar to each other, even from up close. One of these men was the real Santa; I knew it with all my heart, but which one? It was a real conundrum.I kneeled on the snowy ground at their feet. Santa Number Two said, “What the hell…”Santa Number One said, “Shhhh. Don't fuck this up for me. Oh… fuck.”He said that last bit because I had pulled his pants and tidy whities down with a nice solid yank. Then I pulled the Santa Number Two's pants down. They both had long red coats on, so I tucked the fuzzy white tails up into their big black belts, so that I could compare their penises without anything hanging in the way. Number Two's penis was not visible at all, actually. It was turtled back in his fatty balls. But Santa Number One's penis was already emerging from hibernation and getting larger and longer by the second, probably because he'd had longer to think about what I was going to do to him than Number Two.I took Santa Number One's cock into my mouth first. It was so tiny, my chin was buried in his balls, and his big belly was resting on top of my head. But I felt him growing against my tongue, and fast! I'd never sucked a guy before, although I'd seen pictures and movies. But seeing and doing are two different animals. I sucked and slurped and was amazed at how fast his cock was getting harder and longer and fatter. It was doubling then quadrupling in size. It was magical. I took Santa Number Two's teeny little wiener in my fingertips, and he too started growing and hardening. It was quite fascinating. When Number One was about five inches long, I switched to sucking Number Two and enjoyed the sensation of his cock swelling in my mouth just like Number One's had. I could actually feel the warm blood coursing into it from his excited body.After a minute or two, I went back to sucking Santa Number One, and now he was rock hard and almost seven inches long, but still growing. What an amazing transformation! I felt Number Two's cock hardening to exactly the same length in my hand. When they were both as hard and as long as they were ever gonna be, I took another look. Freaky. They had the same exact cock. Not just the same size (almost eight inches), but the same pattern of veins ran down their shafts in the same places. And boy, were they beautiful. Although these guys had wrinkly faces their cocks were smooth and sleek. There was nothing old about that part of their anatomy (except the white curly hairs that surrounded them).Santa Number One was impatiently watching me just look at his cock, so he grabbed my short black hair and pushed himself into my mouth again. I looked up at him with my elfin eyes, and he looked down at me over his belly, and I felt an amazing rush. I was sucking Santa Claus's dick! It's something I'd dreamed about many times, and now I was actually doing it! Then I felt Santa Number Two poking his dick against my cheek so I went back to sucking him for a while. Looking up at his intense, jolly, wrinkly, fat, old face, I was certain that I was sucking the real Santa's cock… but the other Santa was just as real to me! It was really quite trippy. I started going back and forth between their warm, steamy cocks, giving each one maybe three or four sucks while jerking the other one with my hand. I did this in the fairest way possible because I wouldn't want to offend the real Santa by showing too much attention to the fake Santa. It was fun, actually, trying to keep them both excited at the same time.It was a cold night. Steamy clouds illuminated by colorful Christmas lights were billowing out of my nose and mouth and dancing around their slick wet cocks. It was a beautiful sight. I felt so much love flowing through me, I began to hum, ‘Oh, Holy Night' as I sucked Santa and/or Santa. Their facial expressions were so tense, but so full of joy, I was sure that, regardless of anything else, I was finally showing my appreciation to my lifelong hero.I kept picking up the pace and intensity, bit by bit, minute after minute, until they were groaning and having trouble staying on their feet from pleasure. Toward the end I was just giving each one a single deep and powerful suck before switching to the other, all the while jerking them strongly with my hands which were lubricated with the copious amounts of saliva I was drooling all over them. Both Santas grabbed the top of my head at the same time, and their bodies went stiff. I felt the cum shooting up through their cocks with my hands and then…Santa Number Two was the winner! He came about five seconds before Santa Number One. When he began to spurt, I took his cock in my mouth and felt the unique and wonderful sensation of cum slogging against my tongue. I tried to hold it all in, not wanting to spill any of it on my nice new sweater. But I forgot about Santa Number One. I was still jerking him so he suddenly came all over the side of my face and hair. I turned to put him in my mouth before he splashed me again, but then Santa Number Two spurted again, painting the other side of my face. It was dripping off me, all over my new sweater. But I thought, ah, what the heck. That's what dry cleaners are for. So I just jerked them both, aiming their quivering cocks at my face. I squeezed out a couple more jets of white stuff, opening my pretty mouth wide to catch as much as possible. I got some of it, but for the most part they frosted me like a freshly baked cinnamon roll.When I was done, I swallowed their cum… but it didn't taste particularly Christmassy. I had no better idea who the real Santa was than before. Sure, Number Two had cum sooner, but actually, it seemed like Santa Number One had cum a little more. But then again, what does any of that prove? I couldn't think of a single Christmas carol about Santa's semen skills.So I looked at them, my hands holding their dripping cocks, my elfin face and short hair zigzagged with streaks of shiny white goo and asked, “So, do either one of you like eggnog?”That really tickled them. They laughed their jolly laughs and said simultaneously, with the same voice, “I love eggnog!”“Boy. You Santas could almost be twins.”They looked at each other, then down at me and said, at the same time, “We are twins.”“Dang it!” I yelled. I stood up and threw my arms up in the air in frustration. “Santa doesn't have a twin brother! Dang it! Dang it! So, that means… what? Neither of you is the real Santa?” I kicked over a trashcan, sending the contents flying, “I just blew two fake Santas at the same time? Oh that's just great!”They looked at me with growing concern on their faces. They nervously pulled their pants back up and began to back away from me, toward the street.“What does a girl have to do to find the real Santa Claus?” I shouted angrily to the heavens. Then I gave out a little roar of frustration. Okay, it was a big roar of frustration. What can I say? I was frustrated! When I looked again, the twin fake Santas were gone, leaving me dripping with cum, but totally Santa less.I should let you know that experiences like this weren't as depressing as you might think. Oh, it was a sore disappointment that neither of them turned out to be the real Santa, but I took consolation in the fact that I'd given two nice old guys a fabulous memory to look back on. And I absolutely loved every second of it. That's how it is with sex addicts. The sex is always enjoyable. It's just the consequences that suck. The consequence for me was that one day instead of going to work, I went Santa-hunting and never went back. I had a lot of money saved up, but I didn't know how long it would last. New York is an expensive city to live in.But I tried not to think about that and kept looking for Santa. And a few more days of finding only shabby street Santas, I started thinking maybe I was setting my sights too low. Maybe I needed to check out department store Santas. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I remembered they had some really believable ones at the store I worked at when I was nineteen. So I did a little recon and was happy with what I found. Those guys almost always had real beards and jolly faces and bowls full of jelly and all the rest of it. But I couldn't just walk up to them and kiss them. They were surrounded with kids, elves, photographers, and store managers.So I would wait in line with the kids, and when it was my turn I'd sit on Santa's lap.“Well, if it isn't little Virginia!” he'd sometimes say, magically knowing my name without me even telling him.And then he almost always said, “And how are you today, little girl?” even though it was obvious I wasn't all that little.I'd always say something like, “I just wanted to apologize for doubting you, Santa. I should have baked those cookies for you last Christmas Eve. I know how much you look forward to them every year. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll never forget again.”Sometimes Santa would say, “Oh, don't worry about it. Mrs. Claus thinks I eat too many cookies as it is! Ho! Ho! Ho!” or something like that.There was always a long line of kids behind me, so I had to decide fast whether he was the real Santa or not. Usually, it boiled down to whether he knew my name without me having to tell him.Eventually, each one would say, “Now tell me what you want for Christmas, Virginia?”If he was fake, I'd say, “Please convey my apologies to the real Santa, if you see him.”But if he was the real Santa, I'd lean in way close and whisper into his ear, “What I want for Christmas is for you to fuck me Santa. Tonight. My place. Wear your Santa Suit.”Then I'd kiss his ear, slipping my tongue inside to make sure he knew I wasn't kidding around. Then I'd press a little Christmas card into his hand, which contained my address, name and phone number, as well as a photo of me holding my skirt up, exposing my pussy, just so he knew I wasn't a cop or something.It didn't always work out as planned. During the period I was vetting department store Santas, I chose ten true Santas. Of those, three never contacted me. A fourth Santa totally freaked out, called store security and had me ejected from the premises. But six other department store Santas… well, they were lonely oldish fat guys, who'd never been propositioned by a skinny little hottie like me. They couldn't pass up the opportunity.But I didn't think about it that way at the time. Each and every time I thought I'd finally found the real Santa, and each and every time I believed that he and I had made a real connection.Sam once told me that the definition of insanity is doing the same stupid thing again and again expecting different results. But Sam's a Grinch. I'm not insane. I'm an optimist! What's wrong with that?So, I had sex of one sort or another with six department store Santas, but it wasn't all wham bam, thank you ma'am. No, I put on Christmas music and baked cookies for them, and if they were nice, we'd make out and I'd give them a blowjob or handjob or maybe even jump their bones, always with me on top and fully clothed (except for panties). I was too shy to let Santa see my breasts. After he ejaculated on me or in me, I'd always offer to make dinner for him. At some point in every evening I would realize that this man wasn't the real Santa after all. I tried to cover my disappointment with a smile; I would never be rude to a guest. Sometimes after dinner they wanted to have sex again, and if they were nice enough about it and had been considerate enough to wear their Santa suit, I'd comply, though with a bit less enthusiasm. But I never accepted an invitation for a second date. I wasn't a slut, after all!All this time I'd been working my way from store to store. My final stop was… well, the terms of the gag order prohibit me from naming the place… But if you've ever seen a particular movie about a particular Santa who works at a particular New York department store and goes on trial to prove he's the real Santa, well you probably know which store I'm referring to. The Santa there is reputed to be the one true Santa! I went there Christmas Eve afternoon knowing that it would be my last chance this year to find the real Santa. I was feeling very optimistic.Santa's North Pole takes up the entire eighth floor of the department store. The waiting line is a long, winding path through a fantasyland of beautifully lit Christmas scenes with cheerful music playing and happy helpful 'elves' capering about. It really got me into the Christmas spirit, I guess, because by the time I had my turn with Santa, my panties were dripping wet, and I was panting with lust.I was ushered by an elf into a small, decorated room, in which Santa was sitting on a glittery red, white, and gold throne. Oh. My. God. He was beautiful!!! Like a radiant messiah dressed in holiday style. He had a lush, velvety red Santa suit. His face was glowing with youth, yet wrinkled with wisdom. His eyes were full of ancient knowledge, yet sparkling with childlike mischief. His booming laugh was the sound of love itself. He welcomed me with open arms.“Ho, Ho, Ho, Virginia! It's been ages since I saw you last!”My heart was aflutter. He was better, realer, and more magical than any of those fake Santas. This was really, truly, the one and only Kris Kringle himself!There was one other person in the room with us, a female elf about college age, who offered to take pictures if I'd brought a camera. I pretended that I'd misplaced my purse. I must have dropped it in the line. Maybe she could go look for it for me? She was so helpful. What a sweetie. She left me alone with Santa. I locked the door behind her, but quietly so Santa wouldn't notice.I hopped up on his lap. I put one hand nonchalantly on his inner thigh. My hand was only inches from his Santahood, and my fingers tingled with the knowledge that his sex was so close. So deliciously close. I looked up at him with doe eyes and giggled like a kid. I sucked my thumb shyly, oozing innocence. He was looking at me with a weird expression. He couldn't tell how to read me. I was obviously in my late twenties, but why was I acting so coy? Was I just fucking with him, or was I trying to seduce him? He didn't know, but I could definitely see interest in his eyes.Santa made clever small talk, much cleverer than any of the other Santas and happily played along with my little girl act while trying to pretend he didn't notice my tight little ass on his knee or the way my hand kept squeezing his upper thigh whenever I giggled. I wondered if he could tell I wasn't wearing any underwear. I enjoyed feeling the softness of his velvety trousers on my pussy lips. I babbled to him in kid talk, all the while bopping my legs in a ridiculous parody of a child. I could feel him getting a little uncomfortable with my increasingly obvious efforts at seduction. He tried to shift his weight to get his crotch further back from my hand, but I just reached farther under his belly until the edge of my hand was pressing into the side of his growing erection.“Uh, Santa's getting a little uncomfortable, Virginia. Maybe you could stand for a while.”“Okay Santa, I stand up.” I said with an obscenely cute little giggle. Then I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled myself up so I was standing with my feet on top of his knees. By that time I'd kicked off my shoes. He didn't know what to do. I basically had my crotch a few inches above his face.“Oh, look Santa,” I said and then pulled the front of my skirt up, so he could see through his little round glasses that I wasn't wearing any panties. He was looking right at my totally shaven pussy, which was open and glistening wet. His eyes opened wide. He backed up into his chair, but he couldn't take his eyes off the delicate flower hovering temptingly just a few inches from his cherry red nose. He froze. Stunned. His arms were sticking straight out to the left and right. He didn't know what to do with them.“Kiss me, Santa. Kiss me on the lips,” I whined petulantly. I'd never done this with a Santa before, but there was something special about this one. I moved my pussy closer to his face until he could smell the cinnamon scented perfume I'd anointed myself with. The fold on top of my clitoris touched his nose, but he didn't kiss me, so I put one foot up on his shoulder and pressed my pussy fully into his face. I could feel the tingly softness of his moustache on my labia. He groaned a deep lingering groan that vibrated into the depths of my vagina. His tense body relaxed, and a moment later I felt his tongue slip inside me. It was a transcendent moment of pure bliss. He began licking and lapping me, and now his gloved hands were on my naked ass, and now they were running up under my sweater to cup my breasts (I wasn't wearing a bra this time). Oh, boy, I loved the sensation of those soft leather gloves on my naked flesh. They had fur cuffs that tickled my belly as he fondled me.His tongue, his long thick tongue, was deep inside me. He began nodding, so his rosy red nose could flick my clitoris. Oh, Santa. So wise in the ways of love. I knew he was an ancient soul, perhaps thousands of years old. I guess you can learn a lot if you have that much time to practice.I felt a wave of pleasure so intense and overwhelming that I began to moan, “Oh fuck! Santa! Lick my pussy! Lick my wet pussy! Oh fuck yeah!!!” I was no longer pretending to be a little girl. I was a woman. I got louder and louder until my voice morphed into wordless shrieks of orgasmic ecstasy.I heard the elves pounding at the door. I knew I was running out of time so I hopped off his legs onto the floor. I pulled and yanked at his pants. It made his butt slide forward to the front of the throne. The pants must have been a little loose, because they slid right off, exposing his ten-inch cock. It was so pale, it seemed to emit a magical glow.He looked down at me, proud to show me his cock. His sweet old face now had an expression of pure carnal desire. He said, “What do you want for Christmas, little girl?”I hopped sideways onto Santa's lap and said, “I want you to fuck me, Santa!”He lifted me with one arm under the small of my back and the other under my thighs. Then he lowered me onto his big hard cock with his strong, sure hands, finding my pussy with the first try.“Fuck!” he yelled hoarsely as his cock entered me. He was so big and long! I was so tight! But we fit together perfectly.“Oh!” I moaned, feeling every inch of him penetrate me. Then he began to lift me up and down on his cock. So strong! So sure! I lifted my sweater up to my chin so Santa could see my tits bounce as he fucked me. I hadn't shown them to any of the other Santas. But I wanted this Santa, the truly real and only Santa, to see every inch of me. He looked down at my perky, round breasts, his eyes wild with lust. He leaned forward and took my hard nipple into his mouth. The feel of his beard tickling my skin drove me wild. All the time he was impaling me on his cock with amazing strength, as if I were weightless.“Oh shit,” I groaned loudly, “Fuck me, Santa! Fuck my tight little pussy! Oh god, your cock is so big! Oh god, oh god, oh god… I'm cumming! I'm cumming!”I trembled in the most powerful orgasm of my life (up to that time), and he kept fucking me, ignoring the pounding of the elves. The door started to bend, but it held.He shouted, “No, don't come in! I'm perfectly fine! Go away!”He stood up and put my feet on the seat of the throne with my back to him. I crouched down, offering him my pretty little tushie. I was just low enough for his cock to slide up into my pussy. Oh god, he felt twice as long this way! The head of Santa's cock reached all the way into me and pressed against my womb. It hurt, but I could barely feel the pain through the haze of pleasure that filled my body from head to toe. And now he began thrusting himself in and out of me with an ancient power he must have inherited from the gods of old. He had one strong hand on my shoulder, the other on my waist. He fucked me with growing speed and firmness, and within half a minute, he shot the magic of Christmas deep inside me.“Oh yeah, Santa, fill me up! Fill me up with your sperm!! I want to have your babies!!!!”I think that last statement may have shocked him back to his senses. Either that or the act of cumming did the trick. Either way, he let go of me, stumbled backwards, tripped on his own drawers and fell sprawling on his back. Cum was still shooting out of his cock.That's when the elves broke open the door. There were four or five of them, with a couple of female security guards right behind. They saw everything, including Santa's naked cock shooting a jet of semen two feet into the air. And there I was, a young slip of a thing, standing with my back to him on the throne, torso turned watching him fall. My sweater and skirt were still pulled up, so the elves pretty much saw everything I'd been hiding from people most of my life.I don't know about you, but if I saw a scene like that, it would inspire years of masturbation fantasies. Not nightmares, like the elves later said in their depositions.But things were about to get worse… I was staring down at Santa, his head scrunched uncomfortably against the far wall. To my shock and massive disappointment, I could see the fat pad sticking out from under the tails of his red velvet coat. And I could see his real belly button. He was thin, with ripped abdominal muscles. Then I noticed how trim and muscular his legs were. And his silvery beard… it was peeling off around the edges.Dang. I didn't even need to give him the eggnog test. He was obviously a fake. His hair and beard and glowing skin were just makeup. And the dignity, wisdom and magic he had been exuding when I first entered the room were just parts of a practiced performance that he'd run on a million kids and adults before me. This guy wasn't old, fat, or wise! He was the worst fake of all. And I'd told this joker that I wanted to have his babies! I was disgusted! Well… not entirely. He'd fucked me better than any of them (my pussy zinged for hours afterwards). Still, I felt betrayed by the whole Christmas industry, which had tricked me into thinking this young college thespian was the real Santa.I pulled down my sweater and skirt. The Christmas party was over.To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

This week on From the Front Porch, it's time for another Literary Therapy session! Our literary Frasier Crane, Annie, is back to answer more of your reading questions and dilemmas. If you have a question you would like Annie to answer in a future episode, you can leave us a voicemail here. Get your copies of the books mentioned in this episode from The Bookshelf: Little Women Book Club Flight by Lynn Steger Strong Seven Days of Us by Francesca Hornak (currently unavailable to order) The Santa Suit by Mary Kay Andrews Voracious! by Cara Nicoletti (currently unavailable to order) My First Popsicle edited by Zosia Mamet The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen Winter Solstice by Rosmunde Pilcher An Old-Fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott (currently unavailable to order) Little Women by Louisa May Alcott Mr. Dickens and His Carol by Samantha Silva (currently unavailable to order) Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris Wintering by Katherine May Perestroika in Paris by Jane Smiley Little Women (painted edition) by Louisa May Alcott Persuasion (painted edition) by Jane Austen The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green All These Wonders and Occasional Magic by The Moth Liturgies for Hope by Elizabeth Moore & Audrey Elledge A Child's Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson Miracle on 10th Street by Madeleine L'Engle (currently unavailable to order) A Treasury of Family Christmas Poems by Union Square Kids The Boy, The Mole, the Fox, and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy The Sense of Wonder by Matthew Salesses (releases 1/17/23) From the Front Porch is a weekly podcast production of The Bookshelf, an independent bookstore in South Georgia. You can follow The Bookshelf's daily happenings on Instagram at @bookshelftville, and all the books from today's episode can be purchased online through our store website, www.bookshelfthomasville.com.  A full transcript of today's episode can be found here. Special thanks to Dylan and his team at Studio D Podcast Production for sound and editing and for our theme music, which sets the perfect warm and friendly tone for our Thursday conversations.  Thank you again to this week's sponsor, Visit Thomasville. Spend Christmas in Thomasville! There is something truly special about the holiday season in Thomasville. From shopping for those must-have presents for everyone on your list, to the twinkling lights, sparkling window displays, and tempting smells wafting from restaurants all add to the festive feeling of the season. From downtown hotels, to delightful vacation rentals, book your getaway to Thomasville and add a little more sparkle to your holidays! Learn more and plan your trip at www.thomasvillega.com or @thomasvillega on Instagram. If you liked what you heard in today's episode, tell us by leaving a review on iTunes. Or, if you're so inclined, support us on Patreon, where you can hear our staff's weekly New Release Tuesday conversations, read full book reviews in our monthly Shelf Life newsletter and follow along as Hunter and I conquer a classic. Just go to patreon.com/fromthefrontporch. We're so grateful for you, and we look forward to meeting back here next week. Our Executive Producers are... Donna Hetchler, Cammy Tidwell, Chantalle C, Nicole Marsee, Wendi Jenkins, Laurie Johnson and Kate Johnston Tucker.

The sermon in this review was preached by Troy Gramling at Potential Church and uploaded to their YouTube channel on November 14th, 2022. All rights belong to Troy Gramling and Potential Church. This video is for teaching and review purposes only and is protected under fair use. Fair use is a doctrine in the United States copyright law that allows limited use of copyrighted material without requiring permission from the rights holders, such as commentary, criticism, news reporting, research, teaching, or scholarship. LINKS: 1) Original Sermon: https://youtu.be/hV96lg3FAas 2) My Quick Run-through Of The Sermon Text: Coming Soon 3) FREE PDF Sermon Review Guide: https://thehonestyouthpastor.com/products/sermon-review-form

Before we go on break for the winter holidays, we would like to share some reading recommendations about seasonal traditions old & new. Check out what we talked about: Books mentioned: "The 19th Christmas" of the "Women's Murder Club" series by James Patterson with readalike "Christmas Cake Murder" by Joanne Fluke. "The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Winter Solstice" by Wendy Pfeffer with readalikes "The Winter Solstice" by Ellen Jackson and "The Return of the Light: Twelve Tales from Around the World for the Winter Solstice" by Carolyn McVickar Edwards. "The Christmas Bookshop" by Jenny Colgan with readalike "The Santa Suit" by Mary Kay Andrews. "Have a Cool Yule: How-to Survive (and Enjoy) the Mid-winter Festival" by Mélusine Draco, "The Nordic Baking Book" by Magnus Nilsson, "Stitch Mountain: 30 Warm Knits for Conquering the Cold" by Laura Zander, and "Natural Tables: Nature-inspired Tablescapes for Memorable Gatherings" by Shellie Pomeroy. "Krampus: The Yule Lord" by Brom with readalike "The Krampus and the Old, Dark Christmas: Roots and Rebirth of the Folkloric Devil" by Al Ridenour. "The Woman in Black" by Susan Hill with readalike authors Charles Dickens, Shirley Jackson, and M.R. James. Also, the horror podcast "Shadows at the Door." "Ballgowns & Butterflies" from the "A Stitch in Time" series by Kelley Armstrong available in "Under a Winter Sky: A Fantasy Holiday Anthology." Read more about the Winter Solstice in this article by The Good Trade: https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/what-is-winter-solstice#:~:text=A%20Winter%20Celebration%20Of%20The,rising%20sun%2C%20and%20the%20moon Subscribe to see fun videos! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/oakcreeklibrary Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0fXBQabGb_kU15q6iQpqWQ To access complete transcripts for all episodes of Not Your Mother's Library, please visit: oakcreeklibrary.org/podcast Check out books, movies, and other materials through the Milwaukee County Federated Library System: countycat.mcfls.org hoopladigital.com wplc.overdrive.com oakcreeklibrary.org

He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, and he slaughtered a family during a psychotic break. Let us know what your thoughts are on this shocking holiday case.TW: Mention of suicide

Brace yourself for some serious Christmas magic! New York Times bestselling author of 29 novels (and counting), Mary Kay Andrews joins the podcast to talk about “The Santa Suit” the book she calls “a delicious, sweet, peppermint scented goodie.” The novella celebrates the magic of Christmas and second chances with a tale of a new beginning for Ivy Perkins, who is starting over personally and professionally with the purchase of The Four Roses farmhouse. Mary Kay and Olivia chat about Friends & Fiction, which she co-founded and co-hosts, MKA's skills at treasure hunting, hosting, and design, her early years as a newspaper reporter, how she became tech savvy in the pandemic, and the ritual of self-doubt she still goes through each time she's set to write another book. In A Moment With Margaret the readers discuss the fun in embracing the Christmas book genre, and Margaret recommends “One For the Books” by Jenn McKinlay, a previous guest on the podcast.

*PLEASE NOTE: This episode was recorded prior to the release of Murderotica. Any mention of "This is Trash" is in reference to our former podcast. We just really loved this episode and wanted to give y'all something to binge. Here's to more foreplay and less foul-play!* – On December 24th, 2008 Bruce Pardo, dressed as Santa Claus entered the home of the Ortega family and took the lives of 9 individuals.  In this episode, Mel introduces us to the Ortegas and Pardo and exactly what went down the weeks prior to the massacre and the evening itself. Bruce is a sick piece of shit who not only abandoned a wife and special needs child but selfishly took out his inadequacy issues on an entire family. Not to mention who he was planning to kill next.  We really wanted to keep the theme of this month's true crime Christmas related, but this story will definitely not make you feel jolly. I know we needed some hot cocoa and Hallmark movies after this one.  – References:  https://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-santa-shooting31-2008dec31-story.html https://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-pardo28-2008dec28-story.html https://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-santa-shooting30-2008dec30-story.html https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1101822/Pictured-The-home-flame-thrower-Santa-Suit-spurned-ex-husband-used-slaughtered-people.html https://www.oxygen.com/martinis-murder/covina-massacre-santa-suit-bruce-pardo-ortega-family https://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/12/27/santa.shooting/index.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeSvPr8Ar3k&ab_channel=MorbidMinds https://medium.com/california-dreaming/bruce-pardo-the-santa-claus-shooter-a3225f4baac2 – Find us on: instagram | twitter | murderoticapodcast@gmail.com

Kendall, Andrew, and Angelique are back with another book discussion. For this episode, we'll share our thoughts on The Santa Suit by Mary Kay Andrews, a fun holiday read. After listening, head over to the Off the Shelf blog and share your thoughts on the episode. And don't forget to check out Freegal Music, a free library e-resource. Music provided by: https://www.purple-planet.com

A Woman Activist, A Nervous Gentleman In a Santa Suit, a Young Couple, and a Man Who Is No Longer the Ideal --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lisa-meyerson/support

Saturday, December 04, 2021  Bike Start @ 9:00 am Run/Walk Start @ 10:00 am Legacy Loop Plaza ​1800 Recreation Way  Colorado Springs, Co  80907   view m​ap When is the last time you had this much fun?​ Celebrate Christmas with a 5k Run/Walk. This holiday event is designed for the whole family. Instead of your race day "T" shirt, you will receive a complete Santa Suit, Pants, Jacket, Belt, Hat and of course a Beard, yours to keep.

Enjoy this episode, and how Jaclyn discovers that making Eggnog is the worst idea she’s had in some time.  This is NOT what it should look like.

On December 23, 2011, viewers the world over lit their candles, gathered around their trees—and watched Brandon Routh beat the s**t out of Yvonne Strahovski. Now, in 2021, Erin and Chris repeat this vital holiday tradition for your listening pleasure! Get a preview of our hosts' holiday voicemail greetings, wonder with us what the heck is going on with the Omen virus, and learn how John Casey is like a raccoon. Also: Chris ruins the holiday season for the children of the world, and Erin unlocks a new fantasy. It's the most wonderful time of the year—this week on Ho Ho Ho Chuck Yourself! "Chuck" out the complete archive of past GCY episodes at https://gochuckyourself.podbean.com/  LIKE and SUBSCRIBE wherever you get your podcasts! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram: @gochuckpodcast Email us at gochuckyourselfpodcast@gmail.com. Reddit: u/GoChuckYourselfPod Theme music: “Warm Up” by Hadokowa via freemusicarchive.org. Cover Art by Molly Gillespie @ www.mollyegillespie.com.

Kristy and I discuss Christmas in Peachtree Bluff, writing a holiday story versus a non-holiday story, returning to Peachtree Bluff after a hiatus and whether she will write more in the series, Friends and Fiction, and much more. Kristy's recommended reads are: The Santa Suit by Mary Kay Andrews Once Upon a Wardrobe by Patti Callahan In Polite Company by Gervais Hagerty Support the podcast by becoming a Page Turner on Patreon.  Other ways to support the podcast can be found here.   Thanks to Maggie Garza of HTX Real Estate Group for sponsoring this episode. If you enjoyed this episode and want to listen to more episodes, try Amy Mason Doan, Lyn Liao Butler, Saumya Dave, Kathleen West, and Steven Rowley. Christmas in Peachtree Bluff can be purchased at the Conversations from a Page Bookshop storefront.        Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I know it's still October but let's be honest, it's time to start making the Christmas lists! Here's a fun list of Christmas books to read this holiday season, plus…spicy Christmas books? Yeah…I…I'll never unsee what I saw recording this. Detailed books: The Santa Suit, The Holiday Swap, Window Shopping, A Convenient Christmas, In a Holidaze, Christmas Shopaholic, Wallflower Christmas, Skipping Christmas, Pride Prejudice and Mistletoe, Finding Father Christmas series, and the Frost Bothers series. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

"I think my work defines me. I feel as though if I'm not writing, who am I?" Mary Kay Andrews — bestselling author of 26 novels — joins Zibby to talk about her two latest books, The Newcomer and The Santa Suit. Mary Kay shares how the pandemic both changed her writing habits and inspired her and a few fellow writers to start "Friends and Fiction." The group livestreams their conversations and interviews to an audience that has grown to well over 50,000, and they encourage listeners to continue supporting independent bookstores. Mary Kay also tells Zibby what she learned during her career that has allowed her to remain such a prolific author.Purchase on Amazon or Bookshop.Amazon: https://amzn.to/3m2ED0XBookshop: https://bit.ly/2ZGrxPL See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

WRITERS' BLOCK: Ron Block talks with Mary Kay Andrews about her newest Christmas book, The Santa Suit.

Listen to Book Club Reporter Book Review of The Santa Suit - Holiday Fiction - Author: Mary Kay AndrewsSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/LauraJay)

Bruce Jeffrey Pardo did as he does every year. He signed up to be a deacon at this church’s Christmas Eve service at midnight. However, he never arrived at church. At about 11:30 pm Christmas Eve in 2008, Pardo dressed in a Santa suit and went to his former in-laws home in Covina, California. His former in-laws were having a Christmas party that night with their 5 children and their families. There were about 25 people in the house when he arrived. Pardo came in with what seemed to be a gift because it was wrapped in wrapping paper. It was not a gift though. The package has a home made flame thrower on a trolley with a 9 mm semi-automatic handguns. He also had 2 more 9 mm semi automatic guns in his possession. Sources for this episode: Wikipedia Oxygen.com The New York Times The LA TIMES CNN murderpedia.org telegraph.co.uk The Daily Mail --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Christmas Eve, 2008, the Ortega family was celebrating the holiday when a man dressed in a Santa suit came into their home firing a gun and leaving the house in flames. Kasey and Emily also enjoy homemade hot chocolate and share the recipe for this Christmas treat. 

This is it! Spencer Morell on wearing a Santa Suit, Jerry Heine with holiday cooking advice, a performance from Joe Atticus Inch, Christmas Scifi/Horror Micro Fiction from Brian Crenshaw, music from Ben Marshall and P.F.C. Pierce! This is easily the most ambitious podcast we've ever put out at KendallCast.NINJA!

On the 5th day of... Here is another Pastor's Thoughts Audio...

Bruce and Sylvia Pardo had the American dream, a house, good jobs and a dog. On the surface it seemed like they had everything they wanted, but there was trouble in paradise. On Christmas Eve 2008, tragedy struck in the most unexpected way. Sources: https://murderpedia.org/male.P/p/pardo-bruce.htm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covina_massacre https://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/12/26/santa.shooting/index.html https://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/26/us/26Santa.html https://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-santa-shooting26-2008dec26-story.html https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1101822/Pictured-The-home-flame-thrower-Santa-Suit-spurned-ex-husband-used-slaughtered-people.html https://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/12/27/santa.shooting/index.html https://www.sfgate.com/nation/article/Cops-tell-details-of-Christmas-Eve-slaughter-3178944.php https://www.heraldnet.com/news/santa-suit-shooter-had-lost-his-wife-job-and-dog/ https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2008-12-29-0812290154-story.html https://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-santa-shooting31-2008dec31-story.html https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2013/12/25/5-years-after-man-in-santa-suit-massacred-9-relatives-covina-woman-leads-family-healing/ https://www.newschannel10.com/story/9591217/santa-shooter-had-been-bound-for-iowa-not-canada/ https://www.newschannel10.com/story/9605019/santa-gunman-led-2-lives-to-plot-killings/ https://www.ocme.dhhs.nc.gov/toxicology/index.shtml --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/crimesandclosets/message

Kimberley and her brother, Chris, find a parcel at home, but it's for Toby the dog. It’s a doggy Santa suit, but Toby doesn’t like it. Maybe someone else will want it… Snuggle up for a story with your little one with #CBeebiesRadio Story Time.

It's a boring ride with Sam Elliot and Sarah Paulson this week, but then it picks WAY up with a revelation about Santa's new power. Find more things from us at: https://www.treyplutnicki.com/ https://www.danieljkunkel.net/ Special thanks to Colin Robertson for providing our theme music. You can find more of Colin's great music at: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/colinrobertson/love-songs-from-far-away

This December we’re celebrating “Oh Hall, Mark!” which, you guessed it, means we’re shrinking the binge on Hallmark original movies all month long!! This week we’re revisiting our old friend Kevin Sorbo in the possible ‘The Santa Claus’ rip off, THE SANTA SUIT. Do hear those jingle bells a shrinkin’?! Check us out/rate us on … Continue reading "EP 35 SANTA SUIT SHRINKIN’"

I had the pleasure of chatting with Brandon Fiscus. Brandon is the owner of Party Pals of Omaha, Crow Show Productions, Nevermore Special Effects and BrandOn Solutions. Managing multiple businesses on your own can be very difficult but I promise you it can be done! Learn how Brandon was able to transform his business from a Santa Suit he purchased at Walmart into a successful business and learn how he had to change a few of his characters over the years that although they were near and dear to his heart....were not what the public wanted. Party Pals of Omaha can be found on Facebook @PartyPalsofOmaha or online at www.partypalsomaha.comNevermore Special effects can be found on Facebook @Nevermoresfx or online at www.Nevermoresfx.comCrow Show Productions can be found on Facebook @CrowShowProductions or online at www.CrowShowProductions.com

A compendium of stories for the last Saturday of the last month of 2019: Santa Suit is too small, by Gabi Coatsworth Sexy Underwear Leads Megan Smith Harris to a Glaring Department Store Makeover. Dark and Sweet, The Gingerbread Man Reimagined by Radio Dramatist Phil Holt. New Signs of Life Quiets the Young Catholic Girls Bored By Shakespeare. Maureen Hallock

We wish you a belated Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year! Our gift to you is the story of the Santa Suit killer (the Covina Massacre). --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Happy Holidays #fashionnerds! We have an exclusive FIF on the suit worn by one of the most famous magical Christmas figures, Santa Claus! We hope this figure brings you cheer this season. Find us: Website: www.unravelpodcast.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/unravelpodcast PayPal: www.paypal.me/unravelpodcast Instagram: @unravelpodcast Twitter: @unravelpodcast Facebook: www.facebook.com/unravelpodcast/ Pinterest: Unravel: A Fashion Podcast www.pinterest.com/afashionpodcast/ Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/unravel-podcast Waller Gallery Website www.wallergallery.com/ Waller Gallery Instagram: @wallergallery Jasmine's Nicaragua Instagram: @recuerdosdenicaragua

TW: Harm and Death to Children, Mass Murder He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good so be good... Join our favorite Glamour Ghoul, with guest Kayla, as they discuss the Santa Suit Slayer! Oxygen show mentioned in podcast is called Homicide for the Holidays.

Listeners of Big Questions who first heard Cal tell stories on Tim Ferriss’s podcast often reach out to Cal and ask him to tell more stories. Cal’s Santa Suit story goes back almost a quarter of a century and is timed perfectly to the season. There’s plenty of laughs and merriment, along with a takeaway that if you wait out a string of bad luck, there will be prosperous days ahead.

Comments on procrastination, Christmas, preparing for a concert and throwing a couple of things for which I'm grateful so I don't start sounding like a run of the mill pain in the ass. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/joe-fuller/support

Jingle Bell Run 2019. Just a week to go to this fun and important fundraising event, the 35th jingling year! Get out the bells, the festive gear, get out the walking shoes, gather friends and family and make this the greatest one yet. The honorees and the folks from the Arthritis Foundation--The Bock Family, with young Izzy (just 3 years old), Dr. Amish Dave, and Steve Wright from the Arthritis Foundation, provide all the stories and details to inspire us to raise funds, and donate to The Arthritis Foundation. This autoimmune disease strikes indiscriminately, as is the case with little Izzy--no history of the condition in the family. A large percentage of the $$ raised for the Run on Sunday, December 8 at Westlake Park, go toward research! www.arthritis.org

KOZ and Jen's Lack of Intelligence Report - WTMX-FM Chicago

If there is one thing that cool-guy hipster doofuses like us know: it's that holiday music doesn't have to be so dull and boring. This week we skim through our record collections to handpick the most essential holiday music for your bougie party on the Mt. Rushmore of Hipster Holiday Songs.  SHOW NOTES "Jesus Christ" by Big Star (Richard's Choice) "The 12 Days of Christmas" by John Denver and the Muppets (Michael's Choice) "Wonderful Christmastime" by the Shins (Richard's Choice) "Santa Claud Go Straight to the Ghetto" by Belle and Sebastian (Michael's Choice) "Father Christmas" by the Kinks (Richard's Choice) "Christmas Wrapping" by Save Ferris (Michael's Choice) "Your Christmas Whiskey" by the Minus 5 (Richard's Choice) "Come On! Let's Boogie to the Elf Dance!" by Sufjan Smith (Michael's Choice) "The Man in the Santa Suit" by Fountains of Wayne (Jeff's Choice)

Scott and Jer share another batch of their favorite holiday horror movies before sharing some gift ideas for the person who has everything: powdered placenta anyone? In Web Droppings, things get un-jolly with a sex offender Santa, a fat shaming Santa (look in the mirror, tubbo) and Scott and Jer talk about why you can’t trust a man in a dirty Santa hat. Finally, we check in with Bruce Bruce and Jason Jr. again before Sonic Jalopy leaves off with a special new Krampus Day song. Get Lost!

  And this week we invoke the "Kevin Sorbo is always Hercules" rule as the panel reviews the Hallmark Christmas Classic 'The Santa Suit' where Kevin Sorbo plays 'Drake Hunter' who is 'certainly not Hercules'. We also laugh and relax in the spirit of Christmas.   Keep that Christmas spirit with you through the new year!   Mount Olympus is an episode by episode review of the smash 90s television programs "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" and its spinoff "Xena: Warrior Princess," which still enjoy unparalleled cultural relevance today! Or ... at least they do in the hearts of our hosts. Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, Michael Hurst, Renee O'Connor and friends (along with fan favorite Bruce Campbell!) stomp, fight, and flirt their way through the New Zealand countryside - and we break it down week by week. Mount Olympus is a product of Retrograde Orbit Radio, and is brought to you by the following Retrograde Orbit Radio players: Our Own Hercules of Radio: Producer? Brian His Faithful Sidekick: Producer Mark The Xena of Podcasts: Meg Her Devoted Partner: Lucas  

Today on the show: A lawsuit over a Santa suit is a window into countless hidden fights that shape the stuff we buy. It's one man's battle against the U.S. government — and, in a way, against himself.

Murphy wouldn’t be Murphy if he didn’t find things like this fascinating.

40 EPISODES!!! Thanks all for joining us in 2016, and look for much MUCH more fun in 2017... Joe and Shawn talk about Richard Marx on an Airplane and Liam Neeson in a Santa Suit... send us an email ----> BTPpod@gmail.com or follow us on twitter and join the discussion - twitter.com/BesideTPpod Joe's twitter - twitter.com/jopesays Shawn's twitter - twitter.com/SWPorter5150 Tony's twitter - twitter.com/anthonyross57 visit our blog at BTPpod.com for pictures, videos and more info about us, our guests and discussions. Intro music: "RetroFuture (Clean & Dirty)" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) ~Remixed by Joe~ Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

This episode of Let’s Talk Whatever was originally published on jdhansel.com on December 25, 2016 under the title: Let’s Talk Whatever – “Put on a Santa Suit, Ken!”

This episode: LET’S TALK CHRISTMAS! This is basically just the after-show for the Muppetational holiday conversation Steve and I had on the last episode of The MuppetCast/Eleven Point Collar.  Enjoy!

7 Family Members found dead on Christmas day 2011 appeared to be celebrating the holiday when they were shot dead. Who committed this horrible crime? The answer will chill you to the bone. Great Lakes Christmas Ale is reviewed on this 6th episode in the 12 beers of Christmas. The post The 12 Beers of Christmas: Psychotic Dallas Dad in a Santa Suit appeared first on Tiegrabber.

7 Family Members found dead on Christmas day 2011 appeared to be celebrating the holiday when they were shot dead. Who committed this horrible crime? The answer will chill you to the bone. Great Lakes Christmas Ale is reviewed on this 6th episode in the 12 beers of Christmas.

Dave played a minute of All I Want For Christmas and Ric things he should be punished!!

Parents listening with children, know that this case involves Santa Claus! Catch our drift? Andy brings the case against his wife Virginia. Andy wants to share the spirit of Christmas and Santa all year long. Virginia wants to restrict it to the holiday season. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Episode 6 - The 1000 Lb Gorilla in a Santa Suit   This time of year it's hard to discuss Tarot without the holiday season muscling its way into the topic, but we don't let that stop us!   = Helpful Links =   The Gilded Tarot http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/gilded/   Legacy of the Divine Tarot http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/legacy-divine/   Art Nouveau Tarot http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/art-nouveau-tarot/   Royo Dark Tarot http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/royo-dark/   Crystal Visions Tarot http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/crystal-visions/   How to connect with your Tarot deck in 3 easy steps http://www.daily-tarot-girl.com/learn-tarot/how-connect-with-your-tarot-deck-3-easy-steps/   Holiday Obligation episode - The Minister of Myself podcast http://myownminister.com/2013/12/22/holiday-obligation/   Doreen Virtue and angels http://www.angeltherapy.com/   Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain   http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Visualization-Power-Imagination-Create/dp/1577312295

Hey ATA Listeners, this week's Chucktasticly filled podcast features reviews on not just one but two episodes of the fan favorite TV Series Chuck. The first episode Chuck Versus the Santa Suit was the biggest episode of the series since its spectacular Season 3 Finale giving us everything we wanted to see from the return of a major villain. As for the second episode Chuck Versus the Baby, the cliffhanger that we were left with at the end of the previous episode caused us to go into it really pumped up only to be disappointed but then later satisfied as we were given a feel-good ending that left Nico and I smiling. Also since we had the extra time, Nico and I discuss if Chuck being originally picked up by another network besides NBC would have allowed it to extend past five seasons and give you our predictions for the Chuck Series Finale.

While we were all on holidays, Chuck sure wasn't! Between Chuck vs. the Santa Suit, written by writing assistant Amanda Kate Shuman, and Chuck vs. the Baby, directed by first-time TV director Matt Barber (and written by fan favorite writers Rafe Judkins and Lauren LeFranc), Chuck delivered a one-two punch of back to back amazing episodes! In our 100th podcast (because of a half-episode early on), we celebrate 4 years as a podcast and 37 consecutive months as the #1 TV-themed podcast in Podcast Alley's "TV & Film" category. What better way to celebrate, than with some of our liveliest discussion ever, singing the praises of these two episodes. Visit Chuckazon to pre-order Chuck season 5, and support us on our home stretch! Make sure to watch Chuck on Fridays at 8/7c on NBC, right up to the 2-part series finale on January 27th. Follow us on Twitter for the latest updates - @chucktvdotnet, @prlsoflizdom, and @GrayJones. Miss any episodes? You can find them all at our new Blip.tv page: blip.tv/chuckpodcast, and every time you watch it helps to support us! Also, if you like the show, please consider supporting us with a monthly vote at Podcast Alley.

While we were all on holidays, Chuck sure wasn't! Between Chuck vs. the Santa Suit, written by writing assistant Amanda Kate Shuman, and Chuck vs. the Baby, directed by first-time TV director Matt Barber (and written by fan favorite writers Rafe Judkins and Lauren LeFranc), Chuck delivered a one-two punch of back to back amazing episodes! In our 100th podcast (because of a half-episode early on), we celebrate 4 years as a podcast and 37 consecutive months as the #1 TV-themed podcast in Podcast Alley's "TV & Film" category. What better way to celebrate, than with some of our liveliest discussion ever, singing the praises of these two episodes. Make sure to watch Chuck on Fridays at 8/7c on NBC, right up to the 2-part series finale on January 27th. Follow us on Twitter for the latest updates - @chucktvdotnet, @prlsoflizdom, and @GrayJones.

Episode 69 I've been busy moving from one coast to another, and I was so swamped that I have missed a few months in the podcast world...but I'm back! One good thing about taking a break is that I have wealth of stories to work with!  In this "come back" episode we have naked flight attendants, a story with a very creative use for the metal bread basket tongs, and a whole lot of bathroom humor on the airplane. The photo is of me in Thailand in a Santa Suit..it was for my Christmas Card ...the saying was going to be...Santa's a Real Swinger...it came out really clear huh?!  And just in case you want to try this...fur is really HOT in Thailand! Contact... flywithbetty@gmail.com Music... "Betty" by the Lavcivious Bitties... You can now get their music on itunes! Hey and don't forget you can still buy my book, or visit my "Betty Store" www.skybetty.com