Podcasts about All the Rage

Send us a textAre you a people pleaser? Do you sometimes confuse being a peacemaker with being a peacekeeper? Is your sense of worth wrapped up in what others might be thinking about you? In this episode, Susan and Alex sit down with Dr. Beverly Smallwood to talk about the roots and ripple effects of people pleasing. Whether this is your struggle or not, the insight and wisdom shared here offer something meaningful for everyone. Thanks for listening!ABOUT DR. SMALLWOOD: Dr. Bev Smallwood is a licensed psychologist who, for the past 40-plus years, has been spreading her message of hope to individuals, families, and organizations across the U.S. and around the world. She's the Founder and CEO of The Hope Center, a psychological clinic she established in 1984. Since the early 80s, Bev's high-content, high-fun, live, in-person programs have enabled organizations to accomplish successful transitions, develop more skillful leaders, intensify employee engagement, reduce turnover, and create fiercely loyal customers. Dr.Bev also creates high-engagement learning in her virtual programs and courses.Bev received her Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Southern Mississippi in 1981. Since that time, she has regularly received advanced professional training in such areas as stress and anger management, trauma treatment, forensic psychology, organizational assessment and intervention, and leadership development.Dr. Bev is well-known as a resource to the national media. She's been interviewed and quoted in such media outlets as MSNBC, CNN, FOX News, Maury Povich, New York Times, USA Today Weekend, Focus on the Family, Chicago Tribune, Cincinnati Enquirer, Self Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Women's Health, Entrepreneur, and numerous major radio stations and networks. Bev's the author of This Wasn't Supposed to Happen to Me: 10 Make-or-Break Choices When Life Steals Your Dreams and Rocks Your World, (Thomas Nelson, Publishers). She also co-authored KidSpiration: Out of the Mouths of Babes. Currently, she is working on a new book on anger called All The Rage. Dr. Bev Smallwood lives in Hattiesburg, MS. She's the Mom of Greg and Amy, and the grandmother of Joseph, Ethan, Scarlett, and Eli.Thanks for listening to the Embodied Holiness Podcast. We invite you to join the community on Facebook and Instagram @embodiedholiness. You can find all our episodes and more at www.embodiedholiness.com. Embodied Holiness is a ministry of Parkway Heights United Methodist Church in Hattiesburg, MS. If you're in the Hattiesburg area and are looking for a church home, we'd love to meet you and welcome you to the family. You can find out more about Parkway Heights at our website.

{Hot Little Number} All right. Ah…, you know what? I don't feel like making a mix tape . My mix tapes have been lackluster lately. What up? I'm recording daily for the show right now. I don't have a plan or anything like that. I'm just, uh, what am I doing? Oh. I am, uh, I have to take some time. *weird surfer laugh* between right now and the next song on this album and whatever else I'm doing. I'm also, um I'm like weird. I'm I'm reclaiming my time. Um, my sleep schedule is changing again. I think I'm just like a rolling… I'm like a I'm like the floater. Hello, what's going on? I don't think I've opened with hello for a while, but it's been random. It's been touch and go. I had a little voice today that was like ”do not leave your house.” And I was like, “first of all, I don't have a house. This is an apartment building.” But then I was like, well, I was waiting on this Amazon package God bless Amazon or, you know, one ever bless it. Just bless it, bless the thing, cause you never know what's gonna happen. You know, though they happen monopoly on all the needs. why would I buy this for six dollars if I could get it for two? it's it is the necessary evil right? I—Yeah. Everything's a necessary evil. I just figured it out, like this body is a necessary evil. Like I wouldn't even be existing in this way if I didn't have to. And then when I don't have to, I get to be free again. you know? Anyway, what the fuck was I just saying? or not saying, not saying for the most part. I don't have much to say, I'm not I'm really excited, I'm glad about how that last tract turned out, but it's not uh it's not finished. What what is finished? Oh, I had those two singles cleared, so hot little numbers is out today, but you won't hear this today. I can't I have no guarantees no guarantees about when you will hear this. I'm not sure anyway, I had a little voice in my head that was like do not leave your house and I was like, “I don't this is not a house.” And I was waiting on an Amazon package and Amazon the app does this weird thing where it's like, it'll be like the driver is this many stops away. this many stops away and it'll go from like three stops away to deliver it sometimes. So I was like refreshing and refreshing the page, like had nothing else to do. No, I just have to this is one of those times every few weeks where I have to not work out vigorously, and I had like a good run yesterday, but I think I overdid it after a period of stagnancy where I just didn't run that much at all. I didn't run that much at all. And then I ran like a lot and I was liking it so much because I was getting to go high speed, but if I'm out in my neighborhood every day running like that, like things get weird and shifty, so I don't I don't get the luxury of doing that all the time. cause my neighborhood is kind of just like a weird, bad shit, crazy place. I don't even think it really exists, like on the actual like, I think it's on grid off grid. Like I—I swear to God, there's things that move around that like should not, like things that are there and then are not, and then things that like it's just, you know, whatever. What is this episode for? I don't know if I can talk for an hour. I can't say, my energy's a little bit different, a little bit fucked up. Why was I not supposed to leave? I didn't give a fuck. I already did now we're on the Peloton, which is why I'm doing the subside right now. Well, I found a podcast that I might be interested in. I'm not sure. It takes it takes a lot. Like I realized that when I do this podcast, I'm giving myself energy. I don't know how but it gives me energy to to listen back to something that it feels like. I've never heard it before. Because I'm kind of an automatic out—out my body when I'm making these episodes and so it's not. It's like it's like hearing something new. Also, my my grown up voice doesn't sound like me to me. So I'm like, ah, like it's still new every time. hundrers of episodes later, it's new every time. For an hour at a time, and I'm really enjoying my Peloton. So would that being said, what do I have any honorable mentions? No, None. There's none at all. I am technically behind schedule well, actually, I mean like I'm catching up, you know, is this just on random? That's gonna bug me. where'd I put the remote. I liked the pattern that was on one of these lights in my studio, and so I thought it was gonna stay there, but it's alternating. I wonder if I can find that one thing that has started on again. Ooh, that's cool. Is it gonna stay there, though? That's dope. I'll just leave that like that— anyway. I'm going back to being a night person cause that's where the things are calm. That's where things are calm, but I'm also coming out of my like weird antisocial space cause of voice in my head was like, though, don't go out of your house. I was like, this is not a house. If it was, I probably wouldn't, but it's not, so I have to go do things in order to make sure that one day I have a house that I can choose to or not to leave. So. I was like, “yeah, I'll do that. I'll go wait for the Amazon guy.” “ I'll go wait for the Amazon guy and jus, like, creep. And so I did that. I went to go creep for the Amazon guy, and it was like, well, it's still three stops away and I was like, this is making me nervous cause it said three stops for like a good 30 minutes. I was like, ‘that's a long three stops.' So, I was like, just sitting in the lobby and I couldn't stand it. Like, I couldn't stand just standing there. So I turned around, I checked my mail, and it was like the same three articles that have been in there for like a month. I just leave them in there. I'm like, ‘these are of no importance really.' So I just leave whatever's in there in there. And I check my mail and I was like, ‘I can't just stand here like this!' and so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the gym for like five seconds because you know, it wasn't worth it and I knew there would be other people there because it's during the day. and there was, and I don't know, I guess I'm I guess I'm uh I guess I'm — I'm better now. As long as I don't have to have that experience all the time, cause I did go straight in there and then a dirp derp followed me in there and I was like, well, that kind of proves my point. So I left the downstairs and I went to the upstairs and there was this this girl just okay, advice: Like if you're ugly, don't be mean. I don't know if she was ugly cause she was mean, or if she was mean cause she was ugly. I don't know, but if you're ugly don't be mean, it makes it worse. That's just advice coming from somebody that's been ugly my whole life! So I'm not mean to people because you can't, like, you can't be ugly and mean. That's extra bad, bro, like, pick one thing and stick with it, but don't be mean and ugly. look, if you're ugly be really nice do that do that anyway, this girl: I don't know why the fuck people mean mug me. Like it's their business. I'm like, 'is this your job?‘ What is wrong?! What is wrong!? I don't know, because I went frumpy as fuck. It's not like I'm dressed. I went in a shirt that I found. I literally found this on a jog. It was brand new, though, and I keep wondering what the where the fuck it came from because I was like bro, if I was going to make T-shirts it would be like this. And it like it looked like it came hot off the press, like somebody screenrinted it for me. It's the coolest shirt. It's the coolest shirt and it brand new, and it was like brand new when I picked it up and saw it was like cool. But I went in like these they were marketed as fucking like you get what you pay for it. They were marketed as high impact sports bas, but then I put it on and it was pretty much like mesh with no support at all. Like I can't even run in them! I can't run in them, but I'm not running because I'm waiting for this injury to fucking all the swelling to go down or whatever. So I was on the Peloton, but I took it easy or whatever. and then I was like, 'well, my shoulders have been bothering me.' I'm trying not to take more than one bath a day. I do take a lot of baths, but it's cause I don't have a sauna anymore! That's why I'm like, oh man, my body got so used to like that extra pushing everything out and then like now if I don't, like my muscle just get all sore and whatever. I've thought about trying like creatine. I don't know, I'm just such a meathead when I when it comes down to it and I'm like bro, if I really get into training or like gym rattiness, like I —I go like probably to half. So my so I haven't been like lifting or anything like that, just cardio and um and I've been eating rice, so I'm I'm thick, you know, like i'm frumpy as fuck, just waiting for this Amazon order to come, and so I go into like the bottom level of the gym because I saw two people at the top and I was like, ‘oh, I'm gonna give you your space or whatever.' And so I went to the bottom, and I did a couple lifts or whatever, but then a derp-derp came in and she was on the phone like “blah, blah, blah, blah,” and I was like, ‘see. that just fucking proved my point.'and so I fucking went upstairs. I was like no matter what, like these fucking derp-derps. And so I was like, okay. And so I went back upstairs where, like the girl and I guess that was her man. I don't know. I guess maybe that's why she was looking at me. like that. I'm not looking at him! I'm looking at you scowling at me. Don't do that! Anyway. Fucking OH—I met the boyfriend of the other girl. I didn't know that was her boyfriend. Now I know why she was scowling at me. Stop scowling, like your face is gonna get stuck like that! I guarantee you and it's already not a good looking face. I'm only noticing this because you're scowling at me with it. Don't do that like I'm getting to the age where I'm careful like I smile when I want to frown like I have this natural, like a droopy dog, like a cartoon droopy dog face when something really hits me a certain way, my face will just automatically and, like — people only— — it like —I only know about it because people call attention to it like something would happen I'd make that face and they'd be like, what is that face? And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about until one day I guess I like noticed the muscular change in my face and I was like, oh, that face and so now I'm aware of it, but it's not something that I do on purpose. It's something that I do as a reaction to something, but now I'm getting to the age where I'm like, yo, if I keep making this face, there's gonna be lines in this area. Like there's gonna be lines in this area where there where there's going to be lines anyway, eventually, but I can prevent the like I can like if you smile more, you get smile lines when you get older, and if you frown, like that, then you get that face and I'm not trying to look like somebody's fucking dog, you know, like a fucking like, you know, like a cute dog, like a chow chow or like, what are those things? I don't know, I don't I don't know, I don't know. Anyway, how the fuck is like, oh, don't scowl! And I was like, I don't know if that's just your aura or your face, but now that you're looking at me like that, like, bro, don't don't do that. Don't be ugly and mean. Like you can either be mean, like most pretty people are mean, but then it's like, oh, I see why. I see why you're mean like that. Beautiful women are like usually. I'm like, ”you—scowl, I guess, but I mean like, it doesn't necessarily make anything worse if you're like a certain…” I don't scowl. I know I'm ugly. I don't go around like American people with my face I'm like don't do that. Don't do that, bro. Otherwise, good looking girl, otherwise otherwise, anyway, I don't know, I guess it's just uh, I've been here too long, dealing with this. Don't scowl, bro! I hate that! And then it's like, oh, I'm only looking at what you're I guess wanting me not to look at because you're looking at me like that and then I'm like, oh, I hate to see a good looking guy with like an ugly girl and then I'm like, 'bro like that's a waste. That's just a whole waste. This whole thing is a waste and you shifted my mind into thinking that way! now I'm mean!” passing on negativeives and shit ugly don't be ugly anyway what the fuck what? was that the story? Well, I mean, like I was just lifting for five seconds. I was only waiting on an Amazon package. I'd like to think that when somebody fucking presses their elevator button with their middle fing that they are flipping you off, but I was like, what did I do to you? Nothing, anyway. When do I have to say for the next fucking 20 minutes? That makes me seem like a shitty person, but I'm not that. I'm not that shitty. I finally did watch I finally did watch Bob the Drag Queen's opening monologue for the Queerlie's. That's what they're called. It's like on my it's on my to do list to be invited to a place like this. This is where I want to go and I'm like I'm not I I want well, I mean like I'm straight. I'm straight. Well, I'd like to think of my I'm like a gay man. I'm gay like a man for men. I'm like a gay man. I don't know how to I'm gay for men. And yeah. I guess I'm kind of queer. I don't know. I don't think so. Because when I think about aquer means like you can go both ways, I'm not going no way but one at this point. I'm strictly dickly. Super duper straight. I like dudes. I like gay dudes. That's a problem. That's like a like an ongoing problem. If I like a guy, I'm like, ”oh, man, he's probably gay.” He is he's gay, you know? It's it's okay. But you whatever, I just like dudes. I like all dudes. No, I don't like all dudes. I like all men. There's a fucking hard line between dudes, guys, men, boys don't like boys. Definitely like I don't even like college students anymore like even graduate students, I'm like oh, who are you? What do you baby? Oh, they're cute, like football players, professional athletes, children. They're children. They're adonises, sure, statuesque, perhaps genetically gifted, absolutely am I attracted? No. no, That's a kid. That's what I see. I'm old I'm old, that's okay. I like it. I'm starting to get like excited for Amazon packages that are not—I'm like, I'm opening my Amazon package like I waited all day for this. There's nothing in here.' regular household items, like true facts, facts. ah, but you know what? I paid a pretty price for this protein. It'd better be the best protein (it's not the best.) It's probably maybe the second best. Becahse the best that I've ever tried. I'm not behind the $80 per80 for 15 servings. That's too much. I haven't even actually done the fucking math on that, but that's too many. That's what that is. That's what that is. Like for protein? Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about? beef? Nah, I was talking about being meaty, but not in the way that you would think. And then I was talking about the Queerly's, so I guess we're back on meat, kind of. kind of. I don't know. what was it what was my point about that? Oh, I just I like gay culture, like not as like a, you know, I like it. I love it. I wanna go to the queeries. I wanna vogue. I still can't I can't bring myself to go to a vogue club in New York because I'm just like, bro, oh, that's what it was. I mean but not like drag queen mean. No. ans then I was thinking about I was thinking about Joan Rivers RIP and I was like is technically like like if she ex if a certain if a person like her existed now, would she be canceled? Like, because she was not nice. She was honest. Whixh is not necessarily always like a nice thing. So I mean like I don't I don't think I'm mean, especially when Bob the drag Queen reminded me that, like, yo, Gays are super fierce to each other, like to the point where it's like, oh, that's mean. Like, I forget that people actually like openly what's it called. Is it called roasting, like on all fronts? I don't know. I don't forget that, but, you know, it's when was the last good roast, though? Not for a long time. A lot of red tape, a lot of things you can't say. I think that's the theme that, you know, the cancellation of like the entire human race, has just changed media. It just changed theater, like, “Ohp, you can't say that!” Like, I'm I'm gonna say that. Maybe. I don't know, my whole my whole thing changes when I see other people. I'm like, oh, this could turn into like one of those fucking like this could be a stampede real quick. The herd mentality is thick and this motherfucker. If too many people all agree that I'm the enemy, this is bad for me. is bad. I'mma just stay— I'mma to just stay neutral. No honorableensions, nothing. I'm still I'm just in the midst. I'm in the thick of it, putting my things and my stuff together. I realized I'm really glad about a lot of things. Pretty glad about things. Um Also, um kind of a tortured soul. I'm not miserable, though. And I'm really good at not spreading my misery. That shit is like contagious as fuck. It's gross. Like, I'd rather be sneezed on than have some people's like form of depression or mental illness. I like, yo, you keep that to yourself. But in a lot of ways, those things are way more fucking spreadable, way more spreadable than just like like I can get over the flu, whatever your daddy did to you. I don't know. Anyway, no daddy jokes, that's also I can I'm like, uh, okay, what can you say? What can't you say? Because I'm about to take this thing to the next level. What is the next level? What is the next level Of which part? I'm in a lot of different I'm in like a lot of different, like, high stakes games. A lot of them. And so I'm like, “okay, what's the next comedy level? not falling on my face every time? It's probably a good place to start. It's probably a good place to start. We'll start there. I don't know when. Probably. I'm probably going to use comedy to Tears or a Clown because I'm really liking how it's turning out so far, and so far, don't have a song on there under five minutes. Is it under five minutes? I don't know. It's long. They're all long, but it's a concept album, so it's it's it's meant to be listened to more like a film or more like a, you know, like a play or like a musical, you know, because I'm weird like that. I don't I don't ever want to do anything normal or popular yet unless somebody offers me a house, like— a real house where no doors will be slammed. NO DOORS WILL BE SLAMMED! What, am I gonna slam the door for myself? I'm mad— at myself. No, take your shoes off, quiet. Unless you're landing on the hellipad. Does my house have a helipad? No. No, I feel like unauthorized helicopters would land on it. I feel like they would. if you build it, they will come. I'm like ooh. It's very like few it's like, “who the fuck is in the helicopter?!” I don't know. Well, I mean, like there's a couple different ones now anyway, it's not I'm not telling that joke. It's awkward, but then then I don't know. I had for some reason, I guess maybe that was the reason. I left out one card from the uh the Truth or Dab game that I ended up with, the Hot Ones game that I have no friends to play with. I still have the fucking sauce in my fridge from the game. Like I don't think you have to refrigerate it, but I refrigerated it anyway because I'm like, ‘it's hot sauce. ' Like, it should be perishable, but then I guess anything with a certain amount of vinegar is just preserved it preserved, you know? Damn, what the fuck am I about to say for an hour? I have no idea. I'm really nervous. I'm giving this entire album away for free. Stupid. Well, what the fuck? If nobody's going to buy it, might as well just like, you know, get it out there and get it to the next thing. I don't I don't have much else to say. What am I reading? Oh, I finally found my copy of the Odyssey Sure did. I think I have two copies of it, though. I think I have like a paperback version. Apparently the last time somebody opened it was 1981. Ans so I fucking I opened it and the whole the whole coverage just fell off, but I was getting my kicks. I really like…that book. I like that one. What else am I reading? Other things? I decided to finally. I decided to finally try to go through all the books I checked out of the library, like over a year ago so that I can take them back, but again, these things keep being relevant, like I just use them for reference. I'm really bad at libraries . I'm terrible at them. Like we could say historically, but I don't know, I haven't had like an enough adult experience with libraries to no, I'm like on record. It's I'm really bad at libraries. Yeah. like, really bad. Like, sometimes I've lost books on my way to take them back to the library. Isn't that ironic? Anyway, what the fuck is going on now? I don't know . The street Fighter's edition of “we don't give a fuck.” I'm guessing. I heard like a a like audible car accident and then like more yelling and it made me worry that somebody might be hurt because at first I was laughing. It was like and not like I heard the plastic crunch and, like, the fiberglass and I was like,” oh boy, ha ha.” And then like somebody was like yelling from the street and I didn't know if it was in relation to that because there's always crackhead down there. and there's always somebody doing some fuck shit right—there, and I'm like, ‘okay, all right, well, hopefully nobody got hurt. unless they were one of the people sitting under the window, like waiting to rev their engine. Then I'm like, “that's on you. I told you I'm not the one that deals karma at something else.” I don't know. I think it was just two vehicles, like not doing well together. New York drivers are not great, though. They have a very very little patience. Like, all you have to do is slow down a little and somebody's like,aby,ep,ep, beep, beep. I'm like, “Yo, dude like calm the fuck down. Calm the fuck down. Like that's not helping anything. It's not helping anything.” I think people need to work out more, maybe because I had already done my hour on the Peloton and whatever those vibes were were just like they were like shwing, like bouncing off me. I only did a couple lifts. I don't know why you gotta scowl. I guess I'm a little upset, cause I'm just I'm like a nice person. That's why I'm upset because I'm like, oh, like how do you do? I went frumpy. It's not like I'm like bending over in front of your man. It's like, 'hello, how y'all doing?' Like, I'm not doing that. All I'm doing is lifting. And then I fucking left because my fucking Amazon order was like, okay, it's delivered. And it said it was delivered early. So I could have gotten a couple more lifts in, but I didn't. I did not get those last few lifts in. So waiting because it was like, ‘yo, your package is in the mail room' and I was like, 'okay, cool.' So I went over back to the mail room and there was nothing there. and I was like , fuck this. Like, now I'm like sweating bullets. I'm like, 'oh my God. like, what if whoever stole my pancakes also stole this Amazon hall' — and like, Amazon keeps track of shit like that. so like I've had packages stolen before and they knew that by my credit card number they were like, ‘ yo like haven't you had this issue before?' I was like “yeah, but like that's why I told the Amazon driver to come to the door,” but the Amazon driver is like, ”no I'm fucking late or whatever, I'm not gonna do that!” Sometimes they do. It really just depends on what the fuck is going on. Sometimes I leave it at the fucking wear wherever I'm gonna leave it outside if I can. I'm like damn god damn. Like when when I was in the workforce workforce— cause trust me, like what I'm doing right now sometimes feels like slave wages. I'm like bro, did I really do this for two years and get $15 dollars? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. No, that doesn't mean that doesn't that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. It doesn't, right? does it? That's not a lot. No, it's not. I also don't have “billions of streams”. This saddens me. Oh, I got the lights to match. That's good. I didn't think they were gonna match. Anyway, what the fuck was I saying? I've been in —fucking— “billions of streams”. You need ten million for a hit. I get like I get giddy when I hit 200 streams for a song. I'm like, ‘wow. they really liked it.' and it makes me wonder how the fuck did I even get those? Tame Impala, according to YouTube. According to YouTube, people who like Tame Impala will , like, sit on my music a little bit longer than people just random coming in from any of my other places, but I haven't checked on my analytics in a while because… I wasn't dropping music eguch making me sad to watch my numbers just plummet and makes me sad anyway, and now I'm gonna know about the numbers. I'm like, ‘well, whatever' Here's chairs of clown comes out. I picked the date, but I'm not saying shit about it, cause I can still change my mind. I could still change my mind. I still might, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes with the next few tracks. It's almost finished. It's really oh— Uptown A has a new single. Oh. not not out yet. It will be by the time you hear this though. It's called what's it called? Suede. It's really good. I listened to it and I was like, 'I really like this song‘ which, like I said, it happens about one every ten songs. I'm like, ‘I really like this. I really like this.' Like technically those are the only songs that should be out are the songs that I listen to and I'm like I should I like this, but I don't I don't sit on my work long enough to do that anymore. I just don't because also I'll bury shit and forget that I even fucking made it. And then, it'll— and then I'll be like, “oh, it'll give me anxiety that I have it and I haven't done anything with it. And I have an attachment to most of my songs. Like, I won't just sell my beats, my beats are not cheap, though. Like, I almost was on beatstars—this website for be selling, but there was a couple things that made me not do it mostly, I guess they're trying to, I guess what they're trying to do is like sell their brand or whatever. So everybody that's already on the site was talking about how there's no—like, it's it's really hard to get circulated as an artist. Like you'll have beats on there for months and years at a time without selling any beats. And you have to be like, really aggressive about, um, like you like my it would like I'm already being really aggressive about my actual songs, so like to be that aggressive about my beats would not be like it would be like two different things. It felt like two different paths, so I didn't do it. But what was I just saying about that? Oh, my beats are not cheap. Like, I'm not gonna do 20 for 20. It would literally have to take me less than five minutes for me to sell beat that cheap. Like I would have to throw it together with like no technique whatsoever, just a bunch of loops, and then I'd be like, here's some which is what I was planning to do with some drill beats, because I know that they're just like drill beats are cheap, like period, because they don't I don't think they matter so much as long as it's got the bass and then, like, whatever that little dude is saying. It's always a little dude. It's always a little dude. It's likeah, ‘yeah. I uh,' I don't know, I love artists. I I'm starting to feel less like an artist, though, and more like a producer, or like, you know, like a creator of sorts. I'm borrowing, though. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie. Because, hell, man, he's such a dick sometimes. I was like, bro. be like something some artist, something, something, and Gee was like, “I'm not an artist, I'm a creator!” But that's I guess since it's so easy for anybody to just say like “I'm an artist” now, I don't know, I feel like that's the whole point of like the human experience is like, everybody has an art like, you know, it's just the thing that makes it difficult is that adding value to it has no, there's no right and there's no wrong and there's no good and there's there's bad. There's bad. There's a lot of art in the world that's just bad. It's not good, but like to the person that made it, like that's their shit. So like in that way their technically is no bad because to that at least one person in the world, the person who made it, it's good. So when it comes to art, there's technically no right and wrong. I'm not going to say there's no good and bad, because I like I said, I collect bad music. Like if it's if it's notoriously bad, I'll be like, yeah. like it's probably easier to get my attention if your music is bad, than if it's good. If it's good, I'm almost intimidated like as an artist. Like, I'll be like, oh, this is too good. It's probably gonna make myself esteem not great. if I spend too much time with it. That's true. I don't listen to really good artists anymore, because I'm like, oh, man. Like, I'll just sit there and shit on myself and be like, why, am I not at this level? And even when it comes down to it and it's like all about business and all about like, you know, your connections or like, you're you know, like it's about who you know. And like, look, sometimes it's about talent, but like less of the time than it should be. Like, sometimes it's just like, who your parents are and all this shit. So it's like, I shouldn't feel that way, but I had a lot of the time I can't help it. Like, I'll be sitting and listening to an artist that's like, you know, ”billions of streams!”. and I'm like, “fuck this.” I'm like, ‘I don't wanna hear this. cause I'm not there.' It's like, is, it if I have any kind of envy or jealousy in me, it's probably that. But then when it comes down to it's like, you gotta take the good with the bad. It's not all fucking pancakes, it is all pancakes. Most of this actually. whatever I cut. I'm looking forward to this smoothie. This would better be the best protein I ever had in my life for the price that I paid for, this is better be the fucking best smoothie I've ever had. Uh, we'll see. This is about to be smoothies and miso time. I'm trying to lose 50 pounds. i don't know what realm that is, but I think. I'm pretty sure that would require, like losing muscle, which is fine. I'm— I might be too strong. I went to the gym. I didn't need to. That dude, I swear to God he flipped me off. ‘Cause here's what happened, is, like, the Amazon package said it was delivered. I was like ”cool. all right.” So I left the gym. I was like, ‘bye.' I was like, ‘see ya.' And I, well, I was lifting. Did I make him feel like a bitch? Is that what it was? Because—because I was lifting and I was just whatever light work because I'm actually in a lot of pain. Like, I told myself that I was I was going to buy myself a gift because nobody buys me gifts on the one day that you should everybody should get a gift on this one day and nobody buys me gifts on this day. So I was like, ‘I'm going to buy myself a gift.‘ But as soon as I put money like, aside for that, I had this injury and I immediately just took money out of that fund for fucking ibuprofen and I was like, hey. Another year. Like that's that's my gift. I was like, So so I'm in a lot of pain, so I'm not doing it like regular I'm in my harem pants and I'm in pain. So I'm like not doing anything special. And I'm doing this, and this dude. I think I made him feel like a bitch. That's what that was, cause like, I don't know what they were doing, some YouTube thing where they were like flapping their arms around, like dinkus, DINKUS., that's what you look like. You look like a dinkus, anyway. I'm not paying attention to I'm not giving people negative attention until they're doing weird shit around me. Then I'm like, now I'm looking at you because you're mean mugging me. Don't do that. I don't with your face, dear, I don't recommend that. Don't don't scrunch up your face like that. No. Anyway, mm. aren't all people beautiful? No, not if you live in New York long enough. Eventually, everybody just scoe at each other to death. That's the whole place. I'm like, where are the happy people at? Fucking on a plane! I think for rich people, the quality of life here is different. I think that the luxury of living in New York is that they're like, ”I live in New York”, but they do that like, around the globe. That's what they do. They're like, yeah, I live in New York, but like they're hardly ever in New York. Or there's just a bunch in New York that I haven't seen while I've seen it when the sun hits it just right, it glistens. I'm like, ‘oh. that's a different place.' No, it's an optical illusion. Oh, it doesn't exist. I'm like, “okay, all right.” Try to find that shiny ass, what is that golden —[thingy] anyway? I'm like, “nah, no, it's a trap, “ because if you actually get to Manhattan on the street level, it's just like you can't see the buildings. Like you just at the bottom and you just shadows, even on the sunny days, just like you're in the cold shadows. That's what that place is. I haven't been over there in so long. Never in Manhattan. That place is scary. It's like a supercomputer. But— I guess performance wise in comparison to other like, major cities in the world is not great. I feel like it's pretty great. I feel like it's pretty great. But, you know, I haven't seen Tokyo or where where else was on that list? I don't know, I skipped around a lot. My ADD is unchecked. up. Anyway, I'm kind of annoying, I's okay. Somebody's gonna like it. Somebody, there's somebody for everybody. You see? I don't know why that pissed me off, because that's the second time I got a scowled at in the elevator by an ugly girl. I'm like, why the fuck are you ugly? Oh, cause you're scowling at me. I didn't even see that until you darted me those fucking little eyes. and then I was like “ugh. rude!” I like, I think it's the vibe. I think that's what that is. Cause like, I also notice when people smile at me and I'm like, ”oh, what a beautiful person,” or if somebody's just like resting, not even resting resting bitch face, just like resting face. Like if there's actually muscles in your body that are working towards being angry at me, I notice. I'm like, ”oh, yo, don't do that.” I don't know why that bothered me so much. Then her dude fucking leans over to fucking press the elevator button and he does it with his middle finger. Like, I like to think if it's like if the button and the finger are like like adjacent to your face, like, eye level and here comes the middle finger. You like, that dude was flipping me off, but I'm like, I don't know, I don't know why you would do that. I think I made him feel like a bitch in front of his mean girl. Why—why are you if you're in a couple, why is anybody in this situation mad? Like if you're in a loving, happy, like a healthy relationship, like you shouldn't even see the rest of the world around you, honestly. If you're two people in love, you don't notice like you don't see shit like that. Like the whole world just caves. like it just falls around like you don't notice when you're all fucking in love and all giggly and everything. She's like 'ha ha like, yes, we are together and nothing else really exists. ‘ Like that's I don't know why the fuck you guys are both mean mugging, like that seems like some self reflective. I don't know what the fuck you mad at. I just that a couple lifts. He like starts doing pushups I was like,get it. get it!” Because, I'm encouraging like that, but I'm not looking at him because honestly, eh. like. Like, she don't jump for much these days. Like, she really knows when she likes something, my dragon, or whatever. Like she really knows. She's like, ”yeah, yeah.” But for the most part, like, I don't know, I can tell in like a person's aura or like a vibe, like, if they have something for me, something for me, you know, like if something is— she's gonna notice, she's gonna like, oh, hey, but nothing here. So I don't know why I have the fuck you're looking at me like that, cause the way you're looking at me is pissing me off, and that's how contagious— that's how contagious negative energy could be. Luckily, I was already on the Peloton for an hour. I just finished a song that made me laugh a lot. It made me laugh a lot, and in the moment in the moment, what's fucked up is everybody was heckling this guy, but I think he might have actually been like a professional or he was just some crackhead. I don't think so. First of all, he got the most laughs. I'm listening back to this recording and I'm like, “yo, everybody's—” he made me laugh. I heard myself laugh on this recording. And then as I'm making this song, the number of different laughs from around the room that I'd like that were beautiful to me because I love the sound of laughter… So the difference this I'll— I'll talk more in depth about this album as it's finished and as it's coming out in the next few days. um I still have ‘All The Rage' to come out before that. What day is it coming out? The 10th? Yeah, the 10th. All The Rage is coming out on the 10th, but it has a single coming out on the the All The Rage has a single coming out on April 7th called Sweet Dreams, and then it'll be out three days later. It's pretty much like a hype up single. There's two singles out from that. Yeah, Hot Little Number is also on All The Rage. So Hot Little Number is coming out in the next couple days, because they just felt like there should be at least like one release in March. I did some releases in early March, but not much. Um, and then oh, the single for yeah, I'm only taking one single off of that, because they're so massive. All the songs on Tears of a Clown are like six, five, six, seven minutes. It's it's a true concept album. It's true to itself, and so that's it's cool because it's kind of like pushing me into the next batch of things and working on a I don't know if it's a remix or if it's just like a a dubstep song with heavy sampling cause I'm getting into more dub stuff. butit's crazy cause I got mad at myself because I was like, “oh, I really wanted to fucking I really wanted to finish this.” I don't wanna jinx it so I don't wanna talk about what it is. But I'll talk about it when it does get done. And now I'm understanding that like it's just being major focusshifted. Like, because I cared so much about it that I didn't want to just do it and then be like, that's it. Like, that's it. And it was gonna go on Tears of a Clown but then I was like, I can't because it samples a song that was actually I think it was like a fucking I think it was a hit-ish a TikTok. is it really a hit which it's just on TikTok? I think so, because of the audience on that TikTok has. I refuse. I refuse. I downloaded TikTok once during the pandemic and two things made me never ever go on TikTok again is that it only showed me what appeared to be underage girls doing things that I would slap the shit out of anybody I saw doing like you could be a grown ass woman if you did any of those things. I would hit you like, I—well—no. I'm learning about this. I'm like, ‘oh.' I'm learning about people who make you want to hit them, but you can't. That's things like that's as I think it's a coming of age. I've never had this experience before where it's like, oh, like, you're doing everything in the world to make me want to hurt you. but I can't. Like I have to exercise restraint. That's a fucked up feeling. It's like being penned down. I'm like, oh, like like that's like you can't like you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. What are you gonna do about it?? I don't know, boss up. That's the only thing I can do. I'm like, well, that's that, but oh, it makes me wonder, what makes me kind of understand to a certain extent, like, bro, like, is this what it's like to have a girlfriend? She's gonna make me mad. She's gonna well, I'm I'm not that kind of guy. And I swear to that I'm not. I swear I'd probably be that kind of lesbian, though. like bitch, I will hit you. We are the same gender. like, we could duke it out. We could dupe this out! I'm kidding. I'm not violet. I swear to God, I'm not. But sometimes like I guess it's an episode about about energy, negative energy. It's like I work out enough that like it should just roll off today this. But it wasn't like violent. It was just like, “ooh. girl. You better stop flapping those arms and get you a Peloton. I don't know what the fuck you're looking at me like that for!” I swear, because the anger the anger set into my body.'s like, bro, I just don't like looking at shit that don't look good. I'm an aesthetic person, so like, that's why I don't jog in my neighborhood, cause for the most part, like, I'm gonna take in too much negative, like the negative is gonna outweigh the positive. Like, I can run in circles around whatever my radius around this bitch. but if I see too much trash on the ground, it just depresses me. Like it just makes me upset. and so it like undoes the good that I'm doing by running unless I'm sprinting, but I can't do too much of that. I can't do too much of that. I sprinted almost two miles yesterday I almost top speed, and then those my motorcycle stalkers started stalking me, and so I st like I—I like ran out of steam. I was like, you know I was like, I was like, ugh. There they are. Like, that's weird. How can something like that happen? Anyway. I was like, nah, I'm just gonna fucking jog the rest of this little the rest of this the this last mile or whatever. I'm just gonna jog it, but I sprinted most of that, but then when I got back, I was like, why the fuck am I out of energy? Bitch, because you hit like 11 miles at least. I'm pretty sure what my top speed is like between 11 and 12. if I just spread it, but then that's slow. In comparison to some. That's what I'm saying. pretty sure I wrote like a rhyme recently. I'm I'm not writing so much as organizing, try to anyway. I'm doing a lot at once. What else happened? I don't know. I'm not scowling, your boyfriend's not that cute. I wasn't even looking until you made that face, and I'm like, wh are you trying to defend something here? Is it worth defending? Oh, but the first girl that scowled me, her boyfriend is cute. She needs to do that more, but she needs to be with him, when she does that, like, “girl, you better wash your man's!” .And he has a accent. I don't know where the fuck he's from, cause half of the shit he said was not. I was like, what? what? He is cute. I didn't notice that when she was scowling at me, and that's probably why she I was like, “what is that face? “ Girl? And then I didn't know that was him, cause he went into their apartment. Don't worry, I'm not that kind of girl. like, that's yours. I guess keep making that face. Keep making that face. Do that. Do that. He's cute. I think she'd be cute too, if she wasn't doing that. So, you know, whatever. They' they're probably— and $4 got her flowers! Aw. Aw, and then he said something, oh, cause he thought, and so he doesn't think un is, don't worry. Don't worry, he doesn't. He thought I was delivering Amazon packages because I picked up my Amazon packages. I was picking up my packages and he was like, “oh, you don't need a key for the elevator.“ And I was like, not trying to explain. Like, "No, I live here, I know that. Like” so I was like, okay. And at first I thought he might be like this sounds bad. At first I thought he was deaf, cause whatever he said sounded like a whole, like a whole rolling mumble, and I was like, okay, and I was still listening to my fucking music. And then he kept talking. and so I was like, oh, I have to —and I wasn't even looking at him until I like turned off my music. And then I was I was like, damn. who the fuck is this? And then I was like, oh, like I saw that he lives on the same floor as me. and I was like, ”oh, “ like the elevators and the the the buttons and the elevator are different on both sides. So it depends on which elevator you get where the button is and I press the wrong button, and so he thought I was delivering Amazon package. I was like, no, I'll live here. like like I live here.We live on the same floor, you actually pressed the button already”, and then he said something back and I was like, 'oh, oh, he's he's just from somewhere else. He's not American.' i usually only like American dudes. I like dudes sometimes, not not all the time. I like dudes, sometimes. I like men all the time. That's all around the clock thing that I like. I like them more, increasingly, and the more like stable I get my singularity. I really like them because they can do all the fuck they like all the fuck shit they do is entertaining because they're not doing it to me. I'm like, “okay. I see. like that.” Yeah. I'd be A real, real real, real broad dyke. I'm not gonna lie. I don't like females. I'm not anti feminist. I just for the most part, like get impatient, cause I'm like, what can you do for me? Nothing. Nothing, exactly. I like a friend or something. No, females are never friends with each other. Let's just get that clear. I think I've just figured this out. I just figured this out, like, we'll pretend to be in each other's best interests…. Usually, I mean it. Because I'm not all the way I'm not 100% female. I am very nonbinary in the way they're like I genuinely, genuinely care—typically— if I if I care. if I let myself care, then I genuinely care. But I don't not have the same experience with other females and so I'm just learning this though. Like I'm just learning other females in the competitive sense as I'm learning males. I'm like, “oh, like, I get it. Like if you sense any superiority in me whatsoever, like, you're like, I become your enemy, like, I become your target and you're trying to kill me!” I'm like, ‘that sucks.' To me, like, but if I sense any inferiority in you whatsoever, you're like a nonfactor. Like, I don't— I'm not trying to kill you. I don't care what happens to you. I already won. Let's just all be this way. Just have a oh, oh, that was that thing that I heard. The one thing that I heard. I was like, and it clicked in my brain a certain way. It was that ‘insecurity makes people act crazy.' And I don't know why, but like it clicked with me in a certain way because typically I don't have to bring my insecurities out front or if I do, it works for me in a way that like— it works for me, because if I point if I point like I guess that's the comic or comedian in me. If I point out my indiscretions or my flaws, then it works for me because typically, the person that does sense that inferiority in some kind of way, they get kind of like, it if inflates their ego. It puffs them up and makes them feel like, oh, like, you know, like or, you know, OR— it makes them what's it called, like sympathize with you if they have like some of the same insecurities and it puts you on the same level of equality where it like humanizes you are humanizes them and then you and then you have like, a connection. I'm I'm just you know, I'm just figuring out like human connection in the way that, like, makes sense. So, I'm not I I'm not gonna pretend to know everything because I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to. and I with the understanding that, like, on a conscious level, like I well, I mean, like certain certain factors certain factors would indicate that yes, on a conscious level, I do and am, and know everything, but, like to be aware of it at all times would literally be insanity. I wouldn't want to be like allie was like that a lot of the time and I was like,bro, you need to get off God because I well, God is where he went. He was like,I'm just gonna die.” I was like “cool. fuck you, dude. Fuck you.” Like he was like, I'm just gonna die. *Explode! * i was like, all right, ‘whatever. Whatever dog.' I was still a little bit. I am I still grieving? I'm still grieving? I'm thinking I'm like in the acceptance part. where it's like,‘ oh, you're you're right. Like you're you're right about a lot of things and like your freedom is that you're hopefully. Well, see, he might have had some other shit to do. He might have had other shit to do, so I just I kind of have this thing where it's like he still actually like he's in another realm figuring out. figuring out things. Figuring out things. That's what you do when you die, and you haven't done everything yet. I know that much, but I know that the less I know, the better, ha, Tame Impala and also like, he's just a five. And again, uh, I don't I don't the whole music industry is herpes, like, don't touch me, don't well, Tame Impala can do better. So, so, I don't worry about things like that. I don't to worry about things like that, but the whole music industry, Herpes. I don't I don't think it would be hard to be with another musician. Like, really? I like pretty dudes. I like pretty guys, and I like pretty men. Pretty boys, though. I'm like,' oh, youes gots to learnings to do.” You gots to fuck around for like 50 more years. And then maybe we can have like a tea. In 50 years?! yeah, yeah. was you know, then what are we gonna do? There's none of like all the dumb shits out the way. All the dumb shit and all those dumb girls. all the girls like get the girls out of the way and then like a few of the women, like a lot of the women, like, get all the dumb shit out the way. And then talk to me. or don't. In fact, in fact, that's how I wanted to go. My next actual thing with like a person of the opposite gender should be—seriously wordless. like, it shouldn't have to have like, I don't have to explain myself to you. if I have to do that, I'm already doing too much work. I would I think I just might be a single forever. It's cool. I'm like “yay, I got over it.” And now I well, how am I gonna— I'm like I devising a plan, “how to hold babies without being weird.” Like, I—I want to do that. I don't necessarily want to take it all the way. Like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be a midwife or a dula. don't wanna be like a baby— I don't want to be anything in the medical field because gross. Gross, gross. I thought I was gonna be at EMT for a while, because they're like, “oh, no, no, you're too old to be a firefighter!” That's okay. after living this long in New York, I'm like, running into a burning building would probably be like at the top of my priorities, if that were my job. You don't don't talk to me on the wrong day. I will try and fail to save everybody in this burning building. That's I'm you know, that's where I'm at. so it's probably good that I missed the cut off for being an actual firefighter. But then, oh, I signed up to be an EMT and they were like, oh, it's a year and a half wait, but then once you get into the program, the way that it works is that like you ‘technically, like word training you on a loan. So like everything that you make in the first, however many years, you actually owe back to us and you can't quit.' And I was like, that's kind of that's okay, because it's like job security. But then ey, I met an EMT that was taking the same bus as I was and I was like bro like that doesn't make sense. Like, you have a you have a full-time job and we're on the same bus, that's no. No, like you should be able to afford the next level of transportation hug. That's that's wrong, that's a hard job. ‘You should get paid more,' but then I was like, it's okay.' What was the second thing? Oh, I went to the ER. My first trip to the ER in New York was like was like the trip that I would never take to the ER in a third world country. I like I thought about it in Mexico a couple times. I was like, ‘bro, if it came down to it.' Because I saw like a building that I didn't know was like a functional building. I thought it was like a shell of a building, but then there was like a there was like a flickering sign on the front of the building that was like, you know, this is a hospital, this is the ER. And I was like, “no, it's not.” And I was like “this is like a shut down hospital, right?” But then there was like somebody at the entrance and I was like, 'okay.' And then I thought to myself 'like, okay, if I had to go to this fucking hospital or like just duke it out with whatever the fuck is happening, like what would be my choice?' And I was like, ‘I would probably just like take it.' I'd probably just take it. I'm not gonna lie, you know? like that. But the end, well I had to go, I had to go and honestly, New York ER is not super different, not you like not not anything like the ERs on the West Coast. is not the safest place. No. No, I did not want to be there. And then when I'd witnessed what an EMT does in a New York City, like ER, I was like, oh. I am— uh what's it called? [withdrawing] I'm taking out my applications. Oh, that was hardcore. What was it like a gunshot? It was something I think it was. I think that was a couple gunshot wounds in there. I was like, you know, 'no, this is what they do. This is what they do all the time.' Ive just I've reached a level of I can't do that with a lot of professions. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not unwilling to work. It's just like I can't. Like my heart can't take it. Like it cannot. I've, you know, I've been around. I'm no spring chicken. I've already had some grief. grief. Like I don't think I can do that. So hat's off to the people in the blue, whatever. “all lives matter.” This is true. But, you know, I'm not picking those sides. Anyway, it is true. Everybody. Everybody makes sense in a certain way, right? Okay, I'm just trying to take up this last minute. What the fuck was this episode for? That was a fast hour. I'm surprised by myself. Don't scowl if you're ugly. Like, don't be ugly and scowl. I don't I don't know which thing happened first. I don't know if she was already ugly, so she's scowling. or if the scowling just, like changed everything. I've said this before, I'll say it again, like you can be —you can look, however, but as a person who like sees sings speaks vibrations, like if your whole shit's fucked up. like, that's what I see. So it will be the prettiest girl, boy, man, trans. You could be the prettiest cat. You would be a cat. I'm— I'm not— look, you know, I'm not into beastiality; pansexuality. sure, you know? I've had crushes on trees. Me and my Peloton have a thing going, but I spend a lot of time sitting on it. [MENACING IMMORTAL LAUGHER] a.k.a “mwahaha' Sorry. Okay, I was about to— That's enough, right? Yeah, that was so— —Somebody help that fucking bitch. they lady, man! that lady in her fucking dragon I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen. Like, don't worry, it is a very small percentage of people in the whole population that she's actually gonna try to actually hunt down and murder. You know, gently. death by snusnu. as possible as most of these dudes don't have, you know, like, I'll kill you. Don't scowl at me, and like, I will literally kill your boyfriend. Like, doll like by choice, though, I wouldn't kill him. So don't worry, you can take that face off now. Jesus Christ all day anyway. All day and all night, okay? Have a good day or night or whenever the fuck you're listening to this. Thank you for listening. More stuff soon, because we'll see what happens with the like, you know, with the website and whatever. I am you dot guru. That's what it is for the foreseeable future. That's what that is. I i A-M-U DOT GURU I gotta work on this website. It's gotta be it's like I can't overhype it. I can't do all this spelling out and promoting my own website if it's not gonna be like the most spectacular—smoothie that I've ever had, which is happening right now. Amen. {Enter The Multiverse} The Complex Collective © [The Festival Project ™ ] -Ū.

{Hot Little Number} All right. Ah…, you know what? I don't feel like making a mix tape . My mix tapes have been lackluster lately. What up? I'm recording daily for the show right now. I don't have a plan or anything like that. I'm just, uh, what am I doing? Oh. I am, uh, I have to take some time. *weird surfer laugh* between right now and the next song on this album and whatever else I'm doing. I'm also, um I'm like weird. I'm I'm reclaiming my time. Um, my sleep schedule is changing again. I think I'm just like a rolling… I'm like a I'm like the floater. Hello, what's going on? I don't think I've opened with hello for a while, but it's been random. It's been touch and go. I had a little voice today that was like ”do not leave your house.” And I was like, “first of all, I don't have a house. This is an apartment building.” But then I was like, well, I was waiting on this Amazon package God bless Amazon or, you know, one ever bless it. Just bless it, bless the thing, cause you never know what's gonna happen. You know, though they happen monopoly on all the needs. why would I buy this for six dollars if I could get it for two? it's it is the necessary evil right? I—Yeah. Everything's a necessary evil. I just figured it out, like this body is a necessary evil. Like I wouldn't even be existing in this way if I didn't have to. And then when I don't have to, I get to be free again. you know? Anyway, what the fuck was I just saying? or not saying, not saying for the most part. I don't have much to say, I'm not I'm really excited, I'm glad about how that last tract turned out, but it's not uh it's not finished. What what is finished? Oh, I had those two singles cleared, so hot little numbers is out today, but you won't hear this today. I can't I have no guarantees no guarantees about when you will hear this. I'm not sure anyway, I had a little voice in my head that was like do not leave your house and I was like, “I don't this is not a house.” And I was waiting on an Amazon package and Amazon the app does this weird thing where it's like, it'll be like the driver is this many stops away. this many stops away and it'll go from like three stops away to deliver it sometimes. So I was like refreshing and refreshing the page, like had nothing else to do. No, I just have to this is one of those times every few weeks where I have to not work out vigorously, and I had like a good run yesterday, but I think I overdid it after a period of stagnancy where I just didn't run that much at all. I didn't run that much at all. And then I ran like a lot and I was liking it so much because I was getting to go high speed, but if I'm out in my neighborhood every day running like that, like things get weird and shifty, so I don't I don't get the luxury of doing that all the time. cause my neighborhood is kind of just like a weird, bad shit, crazy place. I don't even think it really exists, like on the actual like, I think it's on grid off grid. Like I—I swear to God, there's things that move around that like should not, like things that are there and then are not, and then things that like it's just, you know, whatever. What is this episode for? I don't know if I can talk for an hour. I can't say, my energy's a little bit different, a little bit fucked up. Why was I not supposed to leave? I didn't give a fuck. I already did now we're on the Peloton, which is why I'm doing the subside right now. Well, I found a podcast that I might be interested in. I'm not sure. It takes it takes a lot. Like I realized that when I do this podcast, I'm giving myself energy. I don't know how but it gives me energy to to listen back to something that it feels like. I've never heard it before. Because I'm kind of an automatic out—out my body when I'm making these episodes and so it's not. It's like it's like hearing something new. Also, my my grown up voice doesn't sound like me to me. So I'm like, ah, like it's still new every time. hundrers of episodes later, it's new every time. For an hour at a time, and I'm really enjoying my Peloton. So would that being said, what do I have any honorable mentions? No, None. There's none at all. I am technically behind schedule well, actually, I mean like I'm catching up, you know, is this just on random? That's gonna bug me. where'd I put the remote. I liked the pattern that was on one of these lights in my studio, and so I thought it was gonna stay there, but it's alternating. I wonder if I can find that one thing that has started on again. Ooh, that's cool. Is it gonna stay there, though? That's dope. I'll just leave that like that— anyway. I'm going back to being a night person cause that's where the things are calm. That's where things are calm, but I'm also coming out of my like weird antisocial space cause of voice in my head was like, though, don't go out of your house. I was like, this is not a house. If it was, I probably wouldn't, but it's not, so I have to go do things in order to make sure that one day I have a house that I can choose to or not to leave. So. I was like, “yeah, I'll do that. I'll go wait for the Amazon guy.” “ I'll go wait for the Amazon guy and jus, like, creep. And so I did that. I went to go creep for the Amazon guy, and it was like, well, it's still three stops away and I was like, this is making me nervous cause it said three stops for like a good 30 minutes. I was like, ‘that's a long three stops.' So, I was like, just sitting in the lobby and I couldn't stand it. Like, I couldn't stand just standing there. So I turned around, I checked my mail, and it was like the same three articles that have been in there for like a month. I just leave them in there. I'm like, ‘these are of no importance really.' So I just leave whatever's in there in there. And I check my mail and I was like, ‘I can't just stand here like this!' and so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the gym for like five seconds because you know, it wasn't worth it and I knew there would be other people there because it's during the day. and there was, and I don't know, I guess I'm I guess I'm uh I guess I'm — I'm better now. As long as I don't have to have that experience all the time, cause I did go straight in there and then a dirp derp followed me in there and I was like, well, that kind of proves my point. So I left the downstairs and I went to the upstairs and there was this this girl just okay, advice: Like if you're ugly, don't be mean. I don't know if she was ugly cause she was mean, or if she was mean cause she was ugly. I don't know, but if you're ugly don't be mean, it makes it worse. That's just advice coming from somebody that's been ugly my whole life! So I'm not mean to people because you can't, like, you can't be ugly and mean. That's extra bad, bro, like, pick one thing and stick with it, but don't be mean and ugly. look, if you're ugly be really nice do that do that anyway, this girl: I don't know why the fuck people mean mug me. Like it's their business. I'm like, 'is this your job?‘ What is wrong?! What is wrong!? I don't know, because I went frumpy as fuck. It's not like I'm dressed. I went in a shirt that I found. I literally found this on a jog. It was brand new, though, and I keep wondering what the where the fuck it came from because I was like bro, if I was going to make T-shirts it would be like this. And it like it looked like it came hot off the press, like somebody screenrinted it for me. It's the coolest shirt. It's the coolest shirt and it brand new, and it was like brand new when I picked it up and saw it was like cool. But I went in like these they were marketed as fucking like you get what you pay for it. They were marketed as high impact sports bas, but then I put it on and it was pretty much like mesh with no support at all. Like I can't even run in them! I can't run in them, but I'm not running because I'm waiting for this injury to fucking all the swelling to go down or whatever. So I was on the Peloton, but I took it easy or whatever. and then I was like, 'well, my shoulders have been bothering me.' I'm trying not to take more than one bath a day. I do take a lot of baths, but it's cause I don't have a sauna anymore! That's why I'm like, oh man, my body got so used to like that extra pushing everything out and then like now if I don't, like my muscle just get all sore and whatever. I've thought about trying like creatine. I don't know, I'm just such a meathead when I when it comes down to it and I'm like bro, if I really get into training or like gym rattiness, like I —I go like probably to half. So my so I haven't been like lifting or anything like that, just cardio and um and I've been eating rice, so I'm I'm thick, you know, like i'm frumpy as fuck, just waiting for this Amazon order to come, and so I go into like the bottom level of the gym because I saw two people at the top and I was like, ‘oh, I'm gonna give you your space or whatever.' And so I went to the bottom, and I did a couple lifts or whatever, but then a derp-derp came in and she was on the phone like “blah, blah, blah, blah,” and I was like, ‘see. that just fucking proved my point.'and so I fucking went upstairs. I was like no matter what, like these fucking derp-derps. And so I was like, okay. And so I went back upstairs where, like the girl and I guess that was her man. I don't know. I guess maybe that's why she was looking at me. like that. I'm not looking at him! I'm looking at you scowling at me. Don't do that! Anyway. Fucking OH—I met the boyfriend of the other girl. I didn't know that was her boyfriend. Now I know why she was scowling at me. Stop scowling, like your face is gonna get stuck like that! I guarantee you and it's already not a good looking face. I'm only noticing this because you're scowling at me with it. Don't do that like I'm getting to the age where I'm careful like I smile when I want to frown like I have this natural, like a droopy dog, like a cartoon droopy dog face when something really hits me a certain way, my face will just automatically and, like — people only— — it like —I only know about it because people call attention to it like something would happen I'd make that face and they'd be like, what is that face? And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about until one day I guess I like noticed the muscular change in my face and I was like, oh, that face and so now I'm aware of it, but it's not something that I do on purpose. It's something that I do as a reaction to something, but now I'm getting to the age where I'm like, yo, if I keep making this face, there's gonna be lines in this area. Like there's gonna be lines in this area where there where there's going to be lines anyway, eventually, but I can prevent the like I can like if you smile more, you get smile lines when you get older, and if you frown, like that, then you get that face and I'm not trying to look like somebody's fucking dog, you know, like a fucking like, you know, like a cute dog, like a chow chow or like, what are those things? I don't know, I don't I don't know, I don't know. Anyway, how the fuck is like, oh, don't scowl! And I was like, I don't know if that's just your aura or your face, but now that you're looking at me like that, like, bro, don't don't do that. Don't be ugly and mean. Like you can either be mean, like most pretty people are mean, but then it's like, oh, I see why. I see why you're mean like that. Beautiful women are like usually. I'm like, ”you—scowl, I guess, but I mean like, it doesn't necessarily make anything worse if you're like a certain…” I don't scowl. I know I'm ugly. I don't go around like American people with my face I'm like don't do that. Don't do that, bro. Otherwise, good looking girl, otherwise otherwise, anyway, I don't know, I guess it's just uh, I've been here too long, dealing with this. Don't scowl, bro! I hate that! And then it's like, oh, I'm only looking at what you're I guess wanting me not to look at because you're looking at me like that and then I'm like, oh, I hate to see a good looking guy with like an ugly girl and then I'm like, 'bro like that's a waste. That's just a whole waste. This whole thing is a waste and you shifted my mind into thinking that way! now I'm mean!” passing on negativeives and shit ugly don't be ugly anyway what the fuck what? was that the story? Well, I mean, like I was just lifting for five seconds. I was only waiting on an Amazon package. I'd like to think that when somebody fucking presses their elevator button with their middle fing that they are flipping you off, but I was like, what did I do to you? Nothing, anyway. When do I have to say for the next fucking 20 minutes? That makes me seem like a shitty person, but I'm not that. I'm not that shitty. I finally did watch I finally did watch Bob the Drag Queen's opening monologue for the Queerlie's. That's what they're called. It's like on my it's on my to do list to be invited to a place like this. This is where I want to go and I'm like I'm not I I want well, I mean like I'm straight. I'm straight. Well, I'd like to think of my I'm like a gay man. I'm gay like a man for men. I'm like a gay man. I don't know how to I'm gay for men. And yeah. I guess I'm kind of queer. I don't know. I don't think so. Because when I think about aquer means like you can go both ways, I'm not going no way but one at this point. I'm strictly dickly. Super duper straight. I like dudes. I like gay dudes. That's a problem. That's like a like an ongoing problem. If I like a guy, I'm like, ”oh, man, he's probably gay.” He is he's gay, you know? It's it's okay. But you whatever, I just like dudes. I like all dudes. No, I don't like all dudes. I like all men. There's a fucking hard line between dudes, guys, men, boys don't like boys. Definitely like I don't even like college students anymore like even graduate students, I'm like oh, who are you? What do you baby? Oh, they're cute, like football players, professional athletes, children. They're children. They're adonises, sure, statuesque, perhaps genetically gifted, absolutely am I attracted? No. no, That's a kid. That's what I see. I'm old I'm old, that's okay. I like it. I'm starting to get like excited for Amazon packages that are not—I'm like, I'm opening my Amazon package like I waited all day for this. There's nothing in here.' regular household items, like true facts, facts. ah, but you know what? I paid a pretty price for this protein. It'd better be the best protein (it's not the best.) It's probably maybe the second best. Becahse the best that I've ever tried. I'm not behind the $80 per80 for 15 servings. That's too much. I haven't even actually done the fucking math on that, but that's too many. That's what that is. That's what that is. Like for protein? Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about? beef? Nah, I was talking about being meaty, but not in the way that you would think. And then I was talking about the Queerly's, so I guess we're back on meat, kind of. kind of. I don't know. what was it what was my point about that? Oh, I just I like gay culture, like not as like a, you know, I like it. I love it. I wanna go to the queeries. I wanna vogue. I still can't I can't bring myself to go to a vogue club in New York because I'm just like, bro, oh, that's what it was. I mean but not like drag queen mean. No. ans then I was thinking about I was thinking about Joan Rivers RIP and I was like is technically like like if she ex if a certain if a person like her existed now, would she be canceled? Like, because she was not nice. She was honest. Whixh is not necessarily always like a nice thing. So I mean like I don't I don't think I'm mean, especially when Bob the drag Queen reminded me that, like, yo, Gays are super fierce to each other, like to the point where it's like, oh, that's mean. Like, I forget that people actually like openly what's it called. Is it called roasting, like on all fronts? I don't know. I don't forget that, but, you know, it's when was the last good roast, though? Not for a long time. A lot of red tape, a lot of things you can't say. I think that's the theme that, you know, the cancellation of like the entire human race, has just changed media. It just changed theater, like, “Ohp, you can't say that!” Like, I'm I'm gonna say that. Maybe. I don't know, my whole my whole thing changes when I see other people. I'm like, oh, this could turn into like one of those fucking like this could be a stampede real quick. The herd mentality is thick and this motherfucker. If too many people all agree that I'm the enemy, this is bad for me. is bad. I'mma just stay— I'mma to just stay neutral. No honorableensions, nothing. I'm still I'm just in the midst. I'm in the thick of it, putting my things and my stuff together. I realized I'm really glad about a lot of things. Pretty glad about things. Um Also, um kind of a tortured soul. I'm not miserable, though. And I'm really good at not spreading my misery. That shit is like contagious as fuck. It's gross. Like, I'd rather be sneezed on than have some people's like form of depression or mental illness. I like, yo, you keep that to yourself. But in a lot of ways, those things are way more fucking spreadable, way more spreadable than just like like I can get over the flu, whatever your daddy did to you. I don't know. Anyway, no daddy jokes, that's also I can I'm like, uh, okay, what can you say? What can't you say? Because I'm about to take this thing to the next level. What is the next level? What is the next level Of which part? I'm in a lot of different I'm in like a lot of different, like, high stakes games. A lot of them. And so I'm like, “okay, what's the next comedy level? not falling on my face every time? It's probably a good place to start. It's probably a good place to start. We'll start there. I don't know when. Probably. I'm probably going to use comedy to Tears or a Clown because I'm really liking how it's turning out so far, and so far, don't have a song on there under five minutes. Is it under five minutes? I don't know. It's long. They're all long, but it's a concept album, so it's it's it's meant to be listened to more like a film or more like a, you know, like a play or like a musical, you know, because I'm weird like that. I don't I don't ever want to do anything normal or popular yet unless somebody offers me a house, like— a real house where no doors will be slammed. NO DOORS WILL BE SLAMMED! What, am I gonna slam the door for myself? I'm mad— at myself. No, take your shoes off, quiet. Unless you're landing on the hellipad. Does my house have a helipad? No. No, I feel like unauthorized helicopters would land on it. I feel like they would. if you build it, they will come. I'm like ooh. It's very like few it's like, “who the fuck is in the helicopter?!” I don't know. Well, I mean, like there's a couple different ones now anyway, it's not I'm not telling that joke. It's awkward, but then then I don't know. I had for some reason, I guess maybe that was the reason. I left out one card from the uh the Truth or Dab game that I ended up with, the Hot Ones game that I have no friends to play with. I still have the fucking sauce in my fridge from the game. Like I don't think you have to refrigerate it, but I refrigerated it anyway because I'm like, ‘it's hot sauce. ' Like, it should be perishable, but then I guess anything with a certain amount of vinegar is just preserved it preserved, you know? Damn, what the fuck am I about to say for an hour? I have no idea. I'm really nervous. I'm giving this entire album away for free. Stupid. Well, what the fuck? If nobody's going to buy it, might as well just like, you know, get it out there and get it to the next thing. I don't I don't have much else to say. What am I reading? Oh, I finally found my copy of the Odyssey Sure did. I think I have two copies of it, though. I think I have like a paperback version. Apparently the last time somebody opened it was 1981. Ans so I fucking I opened it and the whole the whole coverage just fell off, but I was getting my kicks. I really like…that book. I like that one. What else am I reading? Other things? I decided to finally. I decided to finally try to go through all the books I checked out of the library, like over a year ago so that I can take them back, but again, these things keep being relevant, like I just use them for reference. I'm really bad at libraries . I'm terrible at them. Like we could say historically, but I don't know, I haven't had like an enough adult experience with libraries to no, I'm like on record. It's I'm really bad at libraries. Yeah. like, really bad. Like, sometimes I've lost books on my way to take them back to the library. Isn't that ironic? Anyway, what the fuck is going on now? I don't know . The street Fighter's edition of “we don't give a fuck.” I'm guessing. I heard like a a like audible car accident and then like more yelling and it made me worry that somebody might be hurt because at first I was laughing. It was like and not like I heard the plastic crunch and, like, the fiberglass and I was like,” oh boy, ha ha.” And then like somebody was like yelling from the street and I didn't know if it was in relation to that because there's always crackhead down there. and there's always somebody doing some fuck shit right—there, and I'm like, ‘okay, all right, well, hopefully nobody got hurt. unless they were one of the people sitting under the window, like waiting to rev their engine. Then I'm like, “that's on you. I told you I'm not the one that deals karma at something else.” I don't know. I think it was just two vehicles, like not doing well together. New York drivers are not great, though. They have a very very little patience. Like, all you have to do is slow down a little and somebody's like,aby,ep,ep, beep, beep. I'm like, “Yo, dude like calm the fuck down. Calm the fuck down. Like that's not helping anything. It's not helping anything.” I think people need to work out more, maybe because I had already done my hour on the Peloton and whatever those vibes were were just like they were like shwing, like bouncing off me. I only did a couple lifts. I don't know why you gotta scowl. I guess I'm a little upset, cause I'm just I'm like a nice person. That's why I'm upset because I'm like, oh, like how do you do? I went frumpy. It's not like I'm like bending over in front of your man. It's like, 'hello, how y'all doing?' Like, I'm not doing that. All I'm doing is lifting. And then I fucking left because my fucking Amazon order was like, okay, it's delivered. And it said it was delivered early. So I could have gotten a couple more lifts in, but I didn't. I did not get those last few lifts in. So waiting because it was like, ‘yo, your package is in the mail room' and I was like, 'okay, cool.' So I went over back to the mail room and there was nothing there. and I was like , fuck this. Like, now I'm like sweating bullets. I'm like, 'oh my God. like, what if whoever stole my pancakes also stole this Amazon hall' — and like, Amazon keeps track of shit like that. so like I've had packages stolen before and they knew that by my credit card number they were like, ‘ yo like haven't you had this issue before?' I was like “yeah, but like that's why I told the Amazon driver to come to the door,” but the Amazon driver is like, ”no I'm fucking late or whatever, I'm not gonna do that!” Sometimes they do. It really just depends on what the fuck is going on. Sometimes I leave it at the fucking wear wherever I'm gonna leave it outside if I can. I'm like damn god damn. Like when when I was in the workforce workforce— cause trust me, like what I'm doing right now sometimes feels like slave wages. I'm like bro, did I really do this for two years and get $15 dollars? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. No, that doesn't mean that doesn't that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. It doesn't, right? does it? That's not a lot. No, it's not. I also don't have “billions of streams”. This saddens me. Oh, I got the lights to match. That's good. I didn't think they were gonna match. Anyway, what the fuck was I saying? I've been in —fucking— “billions of streams”. You need ten million for a hit. I get like I get giddy when I hit 200 streams for a song. I'm like, ‘wow. they really liked it.' and it makes me wonder how the fuck did I even get those? Tame Impala, according to YouTube. According to YouTube, people who like Tame Impala will , like, sit on my music a little bit longer than people just random coming in from any of my other places, but I haven't checked on my analytics in a while because… I wasn't dropping music eguch making me sad to watch my numbers just plummet and makes me sad anyway, and now I'm gonna know about the numbers. I'm like, ‘well, whatever' Here's chairs of clown comes out. I picked the date, but I'm not saying shit about it, cause I can still change my mind. I could still change my mind. I still might, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes with the next few tracks. It's almost finished. It's really oh— Uptown A has a new single. Oh. not not out yet. It will be by the time you hear this though. It's called what's it called? Suede. It's really good. I listened to it and I was like, 'I really like this song‘ which, like I said, it happens about one every ten songs. I'm like, ‘I really like this. I really like this.' Like technically those are the only songs that should be out are the songs that I listen to and I'm like I should I like this, but I don't I don't sit on my work long enough to do that anymore. I just don't because also I'll bury shit and forget that I even fucking made it. And then, it'll— and then I'll be like, “oh, it'll give me anxiety that I have it and I haven't done anything with it. And I have an attachment to most of my songs. Like, I won't just sell my beats, my beats are not cheap, though. Like, I almost was on beatstars—this website for be selling, but there was a couple things that made me not do it mostly, I guess they're trying to, I guess what they're trying to do is like sell their brand or whatever. So everybody that's already on the site was talking about how there's no—like, it's it's really hard to get circulated as an artist. Like you'll have beats on there for months and years at a time without selling any beats. And you have to be like, really aggressive about, um, like you like my it would like I'm already being really aggressive about my actual songs, so like to be that aggressive about my beats would not be like it would be like two different things. It felt like two different paths, so I didn't do it. But what was I just saying about that? Oh, my beats are not cheap. Like, I'm not gonna do 20 for 20. It would literally have to take me less than five minutes for me to sell beat that cheap. Like I would have to throw it together with like no technique whatsoever, just a bunch of loops, and then I'd be like, here's some which is what I was planning to do with some drill beats, because I know that they're just like drill beats are cheap, like period, because they don't I don't think they matter so much as long as it's got the bass and then, like, whatever that little dude is saying. It's always a little dude. It's always a little dude. It's likeah, ‘yeah. I uh,' I don't know, I love artists. I I'm starting to feel less like an artist, though, and more like a producer, or like, you know, like a creator of sorts. I'm borrowing, though. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie. Because, hell, man, he's such a dick sometimes. I was like, bro. be like something some artist, something, something, and Gee was like, “I'm not an artist, I'm a creator!” But that's I guess since it's so easy for anybody to just say like “I'm an artist” now, I don't know, I feel like that's the whole point of like the human experience is like, everybody has an art like, you know, it's just the thing that makes it difficult is that adding value to it has no, there's no right and there's no wrong and there's no good and there's there's bad. There's bad. There's a lot of art in the world that's just bad. It's not good, but like to the person that made it, like that's their shit. So like in that way their technically is no bad because to that at least one person in the world, the person who made it, it's good. So when it comes to art, there's technically no right and wrong. I'm not going to say there's no good and bad, because I like I said, I collect bad music. Like if it's if it's notoriously bad, I'll be like, yeah. like it's probably easier to get my attention if your music is bad, than if it's good. If it's good, I'm almost intimidated like as an artist. Like, I'll be like, oh, this is too good. It's probably gonna make myself esteem not great. if I spend too much time with it. That's true. I don't listen to really good artists anymore, because I'm like, oh, man. Like, I'll just sit there and shit on myself and be like, why, am I not at this level? And even when it comes down to it and it's like all about business and all about like, you know, your connections or like, you're you know, like it's about who you know. And like, look, sometimes it's about talent, but like less of the time than it should be. Like, sometimes it's just like, who your parents are and all this shit. So it's like, I shouldn't feel that way, but I had a lot of the time I can't help it. Like, I'll be sitting and listening to an artist that's like, you know, ”billions of streams!”. and I'm like, “fuck this.” I'm like, ‘I don't wanna hear this. cause I'm not there.' It's like, is, it if I have any kind of envy or jealousy in me, it's probably that. But then when it comes down to it's like, you gotta take the good with the bad. It's not all fucking pancakes, it is all pancakes. Most of this actually. whatever I cut. I'm looking forward to this smoothie. This would better be the best protein I ever had in my life for the price that I paid for, this is better be the fucking best smoothie I've ever had. Uh, we'll see. This is about to be smoothies and miso time. I'm trying to lose 50 pounds. i don't know what realm that is, but I think. I'm pretty sure that would require, like losing muscle, which is fine. I'm— I might be too strong. I went to the gym. I didn't need to. That dude, I swear to God he flipped me off. ‘Cause here's what happened, is, like, the Amazon package said it was delivered. I was like ”cool. all right.” So I left the gym. I was like, ‘bye.' I was like, ‘see ya.' And I, well, I was lifting. Did I make him feel like a bitch? Is that what it was? Because—because I was lifting and I was just whatever light work because I'm actually in a lot of pain. Like, I told myself that I was I was going to buy myself a gift because nobody buys me gifts on the one day that you should everybody should get a gift on this one day and nobody buys me gifts on this day. So I was like, ‘I'm going to buy myself a gift.‘ But as soon as I put money like, aside for that, I had this injury and I immediately just took money out of that fund for fucking ibuprofen and I was like, hey. Another year. Like that's that's my gift. I was like, So so I'm in a lot of pain, so I'm not doing it like regular I'm in my harem pants and I'm in pain. So I'm like not doing anything special. And I'm doing this, and this dude. I think I made him feel like a bitch. That's what that was, cause like, I don't know what they were doing, some YouTube thing where they were like flapping their arms around, like dinkus, DINKUS., that's what you look like. You look like a dinkus, anyway. I'm not paying attention to I'm not giving people negative attention until they're doing weird shit around me. Then I'm like, now I'm looking at you because you're mean mugging me. Don't do that. I don't with your face, dear, I don't recommend that. Don't don't scrunch up your face like that. No. Anyway, mm. aren't all people beautiful? No, not if you live in New York long enough. Eventually, everybody just scoe at each other to death. That's the whole place. I'm like, where are the happy people at? Fucking on a plane! I think for rich people, the quality of life here is different. I think that the luxury of living in New York is that they're like, ”I live in New York”, but they do that like, around the globe. That's what they do. They're like, yeah, I live in New York, but like they're hardly ever in New York. Or there's just a bunch in New York that I haven't seen while I've seen it when the sun hits it just right, it glistens. I'm like, ‘oh. that's a different place.' No, it's an optical illusion. Oh, it doesn't exist. I'm like, “okay, all right.” Try to find that shiny ass, what is that golden —[thingy] anyway? I'm like, “nah, no, it's a trap, “ because if you actually get to Manhattan on the street level, it's just like you can't see the buildings. Like you just at the bottom and you just shadows, even on the sunny days, just like you're in the cold shadows. That's what that place is. I haven't been over there in so long. Never in Manhattan. That place is scary. It's like a supercomputer. But— I guess performance wise in comparison to other like, major cities in the world is not great. I feel like it's pretty great. I feel like it's pretty great. But, you know, I haven't seen Tokyo or where where else was on that list? I don't know, I skipped around a lot. My ADD is unchecked. up. Anyway, I'm kind of annoying, I's okay. Somebody's gonna like it. Somebody, there's somebody for everybody. You see? I don't know why that pissed me off, because that's the second time I got a scowled at in the elevator by an ugly girl. I'm like, why the fuck are you ugly? Oh, cause you're scowling at me. I didn't even see that until you darted me those fucking little eyes. and then I was like “ugh. rude!” I like, I think it's the vibe. I think that's what that is. Cause like, I also notice when people smile at me and I'm like, ”oh, what a beautiful person,” or if somebody's just like resting, not even resting resting bitch face, just like resting face. Like if there's actually muscles in your body that are working towards being angry at me, I notice. I'm like, ”oh, yo, don't do that.” I don't know why that bothered me so much. Then her dude fucking leans over to fucking press the elevator button and he does it with his middle finger. Like, I like to think if it's like if the button and the finger are like like adjacent to your face, like, eye level and here comes the middle finger. You like, that dude was flipping me off, but I'm like, I don't know, I don't know why you would do that. I think I made him feel like a bitch in front of his mean girl. Why—why are you if you're in a couple, why is anybody in this situation mad? Like if you're in a loving, happy, like a healthy relationship, like you shouldn't even see the rest of the world around you, honestly. If you're two people in love, you don't notice like you don't see shit like that. Like the whole world just caves. like it just falls around like you don't notice when you're all fucking in love and all giggly and everything. She's like 'ha ha like, yes, we are together and nothing else really exists. ‘ Like that's I don't know why the fuck you guys are both mean mugging, like that seems like some self reflective. I don't know what the fuck you mad at. I just that a couple lifts. He like starts doing pushups I was like,get it. get it!” Because, I'm encouraging like that, but I'm not looking at him because honestly, eh. like. Like, she don't jump for much these days. Like, she really knows when she likes something, my dragon, or whatever. Like she really knows. She's like, ”yeah, yeah.” But for the most part, like, I don't know, I can tell in like a person's aura or like a vibe, like, if they have something for me, something for me, you know, like if something is— she's gonna notice, she's gonna like, oh, hey, but nothing here. So I don't know why I have the fuck you're looking at me like that, cause the way you're looking at me is pissing me off, and that's how contagious— that's how contagious negative energy could be. Luckily, I was already on the Peloton for an hour. I just finished a song that made me laugh a lot. It made me laugh a lot, and in the moment in the moment, what's fucked up is everybody was heckling this guy, but I think he might have actually been like a professional or he was just some crackhead. I don't think so. First of all, he got the most laughs. I'm listening back to this recording and I'm like, “yo, everybody's—” he made me laugh. I heard myself laugh on this recording. And then as I'm making this song, the number of different laughs from around the room that I'd like that were beautiful to me because I love the sound of laughter… So the difference this I'll— I'll talk more in depth about this album as it's finished and as it's coming out in the next few days. um I still have ‘All The Rage' to come out before that. What day is it coming out? The 10th? Yeah, the 10th. All The Rage is coming out on the 10th, but it has a single coming out on the the All The Rage has a single coming out on April 7th called Sweet Dreams, and then it'll be out three days later. It's pretty much like a hype up single. There's two singles out from that. Yeah, Hot Little Number is also on All The Rage. So Hot Little Number is coming out in the next couple days, because they just felt like there should be at least like one release in March. I did some releases in early March, but not much. Um, and then oh, the single for yeah, I'm only taking one single off of that, because they're so massive. All the songs on Tears of a Clown are like six, five, six, seven minutes. It's it's a true concept album. It's true to itself, and so that's it's cool because it's kind of like pushing me into the next batch of things and working on a I don't know if it's a remix or if it's just like a a dubstep song with heavy sampling cause I'm getting into more dub stuff. butit's crazy cause I got mad at myself because I was like, “oh, I really wanted to fucking I really wanted to finish this.” I don't wanna jinx it so I don't wanna talk about what it is. But I'll talk about it when it does get done. And now I'm understanding that like it's just being major focusshifted. Like, because I cared so much about it that I didn't want to just do it and then be like, that's it. Like, that's it. And it was gonna go on Tears of a Clown but then I was like, I can't because it samples a song that was actually I think it was like a fucking I think it was a hit-ish a TikTok. is it really a hit which it's just on TikTok? I think so, because of the audience on that TikTok has. I refuse. I refuse. I downloaded TikTok once during the pandemic and two things made me never ever go on TikTok again is that it only showed me what appeared to be underage girls doing things that I would slap the shit out of anybody I saw doing like you could be a grown ass woman if you did any of those things. I would hit you like, I—well—no. I'm learning about this. I'm like, ‘oh.' I'm learning about people who make you want to hit them, but you can't. That's things like that's as I think it's a coming of age. I've never had this experience before where it's like, oh, like, you're doing everything in the world to make me want to hurt you. but I can't. Like I have to exercise restraint. That's a fucked up feeling. It's like being penned down. I'm like, oh, like like that's like you can't like you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. What are you gonna do about it?? I don't know, boss up. That's the only thing I can do. I'm like, well, that's that, but oh, it makes me wonder, what makes me kind of understand to a certain extent, like, bro, like, is this what it's like to have a girlfriend? She's gonna make me mad. She's gonna well, I'm I'm not that kind of guy. And I swear to that I'm not. I swear I'd probably be that kind of lesbian, though. like bitch, I will hit you. We are the same gender. like, we could duke it out. We could dupe this out! I'm kidding. I'm not violet. I swear to God, I'm not. But sometimes like I guess it's an episode about about energy, negative energy. It's like I work out enough that like it should just roll off today this. But it wasn't like violent. It was just like, “ooh. girl. You better stop flapping those arms and get you a Peloton. I don't know what the fuck you're looking at me like that for!” I swear, because the anger the anger set into my body.'s like, bro, I just don't like looking at shit that don't look good. I'm an aesthetic person, so like, that's why I don't jog in my neighborhood, cause for the most part, like, I'm gonna take in too much negative, like the negative is gonna outweigh the positive. Like, I can run in circles around whatever my radius around this bitch. but if I see too much trash on the ground, it just depresses me. Like it just makes me upset. and so it like undoes the good that I'm doing by running unless I'm sprinting, but I can't do too much of that. I can't do too much of that. I sprinted almost two miles yesterday I almost top speed, and then those my motorcycle stalkers started stalking me, and so I st like I—I like ran out of steam. I was like, you know I was like, I was like, ugh. There they are. Like, that's weird. How can something like that happen? Anyway. I was like, nah, I'm just gonna fucking jog the rest of this little the rest of this the this last mile or whatever. I'm just gonna jog it, but I sprinted most of that, but then when I got back, I was like, why the fuck am I out of energy? Bitch, because you hit like 11 miles at least. I'm pretty sure what my top speed is like between 11 and 12. if I just spread it, but then that's slow. In comparison to some. That's what I'm saying. pretty sure I wrote like a rhyme recently. I'm I'm not writing so much as organizing, try to anyway. I'm doing a lot at once. What else happened? I don't know. I'm not scowling, your boyfriend's not that cute. I wasn't even looking until you made that face, and I'm like, wh are you trying to defend something here? Is it worth defending? Oh, but the first girl that scowled me, her boyfriend is cute. She needs to do that more, but she needs to be with him, when she does that, like, “girl, you better wash your man's!” .And he has a accent. I don't know where the fuck he's from, cause half of the shit he said was not. I was like, what? what? He is cute. I didn't notice that when she was scowling at me, and that's probably why she I was like, “what is that face? “ Girl? And then I didn't know that was him, cause he went into their apartment. Don't worry, I'm not that kind of girl. like, that's yours. I guess keep making that face. Keep making that face. Do that. Do that. He's cute. I think she'd be cute too, if she wasn't doing that. So, you know, whatever. They' they're probably— and $4 got her flowers! Aw. Aw, and then he said something, oh, cause he thought, and so he doesn't think un is, don't worry. Don't worry, he doesn't. He thought I was delivering Amazon packages because I picked up my Amazon packages. I was picking up my packages and he was like, “oh, you don't need a key for the elevator.“ And I was like, not trying to explain. Like, "No, I live here, I know that. Like” so I was like, okay. And at first I thought he might be like this sounds bad. At first I thought he was deaf, cause whatever he said sounded like a whole, like a whole rolling mumble, and I was like, okay, and I was still listening to my fucking music. And then he kept talking. and so I was like, oh, I have to —and I wasn't even looking at him until I like turned off my music. And then I was I was like, damn. who the fuck is this? And then I was like, oh, like I saw that he lives on the same floor as me. and I was like, ”oh, “ like the elevators and the the the buttons and the elevator are different on both sides. So it depends on which elevator you get where the button is and I press the wrong button, and so he thought I was delivering Amazon package. I was like, no, I'll live here. like like I live here.We live on the same floor, you actually pressed the button already”, and then he said something back and I was like, 'oh, oh, he's he's just from somewhere else. He's not American.' i usually only like American dudes. I like dudes sometimes, not not all the time. I like dudes, sometimes. I like men all the time. That's all around the clock thing that I like. I like them more, increasingly, and the more like stable I get my singularity. I really like them because they can do all the fuck they like all the fuck shit they do is entertaining because they're not doing it to me. I'm like, “okay. I see. like that.” Yeah. I'd be A real, real real, real broad dyke. I'm not gonna lie. I don't like females. I'm not anti feminist. I just for the most part, like get impatient, cause I'm like, what can you do for me? Nothing. Nothing, exactly. I like a friend or something. No, females are never friends with each other. Let's just get that clear. I think I've just figured this out. I just figured this out, like, we'll pretend to be in each other's best interests…. Usually, I mean it. Because I'm not all the way I'm not 100% female. I am very nonbinary in the way they're like I genuinely, genuinely care—typically— if I if I care. if I let myself care, then I genuinely care. But I don't not have the same experience with other females and so I'm just learning this though. Like I'm just learning other females in the competitive sense as I'm learning males. I'm like, “oh, like, I get it. Like if you sense any superiority in me whatsoever, like, you're like, I become your enemy, like, I become your target and you're trying to kill me!” I'm like, ‘that sucks.' To me, like, but if I sense any inferiority in you whatsoever, you're like a nonfactor. Like, I don't— I'm not trying to kill you. I don't care what happens to you. I already won. Let's just all be this way. Just have a oh, oh, that was that thing that I heard. The one thing that I heard. I was like, and it clicked in my brain a certain way. It was that ‘insecurity makes people act crazy.' And I don't know why, but like it clicked with me in a certain way because typically I don't have to bring my insecurities out front or if I do, it works for me in a way that like— it works for me, because if I point if I point like I guess that's the comic or comedian in me. If I point out my indiscretions or my flaws, then it works for me because typically, the person that does sense that inferiority in some kind of way, they get kind of like, it if inflates their ego. It puffs them up and makes them feel like, oh, like, you know, like or, you know, OR— it makes them what's it called, like sympathize with you if they have like some of the same insecurities and it puts you on the same level of equality where it like humanizes you are humanizes them and then you and then you have like, a connection. I'm I'm just you know, I'm just figuring out like human connection in the way that, like, makes sense. So, I'm not I I'm not gonna pretend to know everything because I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to. and I with the understanding that, like, on a conscious level, like I well, I mean, like certain certain factors certain factors would indicate that yes, on a conscious level, I do and am, and know everything, but, like to be aware of it at all times would literally be insanity. I wouldn't want to be like allie was like that a lot of the time and I was like,bro, you need to get off God because I well, God is where he went. He was like,I'm just gonna die.” I was like “cool. fuck you, dude. Fuck you.” Like he was like, I'm just gonna die. *Explode! * i was like, all right, ‘whatever. Whatever dog.' I was still a little bit. I am I still grieving? I'm still grieving? I'm thinking I'm like in the acceptance part. where it's like,‘ oh, you're you're right. Like you're you're right about a lot of things and like your freedom is that you're hopefully. Well, see, he might have had some other shit to do. He might have had other shit to do, so I just I kind of have this thing where it's like he still actually like he's in another realm figuring out. figuring out things. Figuring out things. That's what you do when you die, and you haven't done everything yet. I know that much, but I know that the less I know, the better, ha, Tame Impala and also like, he's just a five. And again, uh, I don't I don't the whole music industry is herpes, like, don't touch me, don't well, Tame Impala can do better. So, so, I don't worry about things like that. I don't to worry about things like that, but the whole music industry, Herpes. I don't I don't think it would be hard to be with another musician. Like, really? I like pretty dudes. I like pretty guys, and I like pretty men. Pretty boys, though. I'm like,' oh, youes gots to learnings to do.” You gots to fuck around for like 50 more years. And then maybe we can have like a tea. In 50 years?! yeah, yeah. was you know, then what are we gonna do? There's none of like all the dumb shits out the way. All the dumb shit and all those dumb girls. all the girls like get the girls out of the way and then like a few of the women, like a lot of the women, like, get all the dumb shit out the way. And then talk to me. or don't. In fact, in fact, that's how I wanted to go. My next actual thing with like a person of the opposite gender should be—seriously wordless. like, it shouldn't have to have like, I don't have to explain myself to you. if I have to do that, I'm already doing too much work. I would I think I just might be a single forever. It's cool. I'm like “yay, I got over it.” And now I well, how am I gonna— I'm like I devising a plan, “how to hold babies without being weird.” Like, I—I want to do that. I don't necessarily want to take it all the way. Like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be a midwife or a dula. don't wanna be like a baby— I don't want to be anything in the medical field because gross. Gross, gross. I thought I was gonna be at EMT for a while, because they're like, “oh, no, no, you're too old to be a firefighter!” That's okay. after living this long in New York, I'm like, running into a burning building would probably be like at the top of my priorities, if that were my job. You don't don't talk to me on the wrong day. I will try and fail to save everybody in this burning building. That's I'm you know, that's where I'm at. so it's probably good that I missed the cut off for being an actual firefighter. But then, oh, I signed up to be an EMT and they were like, oh, it's a year and a half wait, but then once you get into the program, the way that it works is that like you ‘technically, like word training you on a loan. So like everything that you make in the first, however many years, you actually owe back to us and you can't quit.' And I was like, that's kind of that's okay, because it's like job security. But then ey, I met an EMT that was taking the same bus as I was and I was like bro like that doesn't make sense. Like, you have a you have a full-time job and we're on the same bus, that's no. No, like you should be able to afford the next level of transportation hug. That's that's wrong, that's a hard job. ‘You should get paid more,' but then I was like, it's okay.' What was the second thing? Oh, I went to the ER. My first trip to the ER in New York was like was like the trip that I would never take to the ER in a third world country. I like I thought about it in Mexico a couple times. I was like, ‘bro, if it came down to it.' Because I saw like a building that I didn't know was like a functional building. I thought it was like a shell of a building, but then there was like a there was like a flickering sign on the front of the building that was like, you know, this is a hospital, this is the ER. And I was like, “no, it's not.” And I was like “this is like a shut down hospital, right?” But then there was like somebody at the entrance and I was like, 'okay.' And then I thought to myself 'like, okay, if I had to go to this fucking hospital or like just duke it out with whatever the fuck is happening, like what would be my choice?' And I was like, ‘I would probably just like take it.' I'd probably just take it. I'm not gonna lie, you know? like that. But the end, well I had to go, I had to go and honestly, New York ER is not super different, not you like not not anything like the ERs on the West Coast. is not the safest place. No. No, I did not want to be there. And then when I'd witnessed what an EMT does in a New York City, like ER, I was like, oh. I am— uh what's it called? [withdrawing] I'm taking out my applications. Oh, that was hardcore. What was it like a gunshot? It was something I think it was. I think that was a couple gunshot wounds in there. I was like, you know, 'no, this is what they do. This is what they do all the time.' Ive just I've reached a level of I can't do that with a lot of professions. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not unwilling to work. It's just like I can't. Like my heart can't take it. Like it cannot. I've, you know, I've been around. I'm no spring chicken. I've already had some grief. grief. Like I don't think I can do that. So hat's off to the people in the blue, whatever. “all lives matter.” This is true. But, you know, I'm not picking those sides. Anyway, it is true. Everybody. Everybody makes sense in a certain way, right? Okay, I'm just trying to take up this last minute. What the fuck was this episode for? That was a fast hour. I'm surprised by myself. Don't scowl if you're ugly. Like, don't be ugly and scowl. I don't I don't know which thing happened first. I don't know if she was already ugly, so she's scowling. or if the scowling just, like changed everything. I've said this before, I'll say it again, like you can be —you can look, however, but as a person who like sees sings speaks vibrations, like if your whole shit's fucked up. like, that's what I see. So it will be the prettiest girl, boy, man, trans. You could be the prettiest cat. You would be a cat. I'm— I'm not— look, you know, I'm not into beastiality; pansexuality. sure, you know? I've had crushes on trees. Me and my Peloton have a thing going, but I spend a lot of time sitting on it. [MENACING IMMORTAL LAUGHER] a.k.a “mwahaha' Sorry. Okay, I was about to— That's enough, right? Yeah, that was so— —Somebody help that fucking bitch. they lady, man! that lady in her fucking dragon I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen. Like, don't worry, it is a very small percentage of people in the whole population that she's actually gonna try to actually hunt down and murder. You know, gently. death by snusnu. as possible as most of these dudes don't have, you know, like, I'll kill you. Don't scowl at me, and like, I will literally kill your boyfriend. Like, doll like by choice, though, I wouldn't kill him. So don't worry, you can take that face off now. Jesus Christ all day anyway. All day and all night, okay? Have a good day or night or whenever the fuck you're listening to this. Thank you for listening. More stuff soon, because we'll see what happens with the like, you know, with the website and whatever. I am you dot guru. That's what it is for the foreseeable future. That's what that is. I i A-M-U DOT GURU I gotta work on this website. It's gotta be it's like I can't overhype it. I can't do all this spelling out and promoting my own website if it's not gonna be like the most spectacular—smoothie that I've ever had, which is happening right now. Amen. {Enter The Multiverse} The Complex Collective © [The Festival Project ™ ] -Ū.

{Hot Little Number} All right. Ah…, you know what? I don't feel like making a mix tape . My mix tapes have been lackluster lately. What up? I'm recording daily for the show right now. I don't have a plan or anything like that. I'm just, uh, what am I doing? Oh. I am, uh, I have to take some time. *weird surfer laugh* between right now and the next song on this album and whatever else I'm doing. I'm also, um I'm like weird. I'm I'm reclaiming my time. Um, my sleep schedule is changing again. I think I'm just like a rolling… I'm like a I'm like the floater. Hello, what's going on? I don't think I've opened with hello for a while, but it's been random. It's been touch and go. I had a little voice today that was like ”do not leave your house.” And I was like, “first of all, I don't have a house. This is an apartment building.” But then I was like, well, I was waiting on this Amazon package God bless Amazon or, you know, one ever bless it. Just bless it, bless the thing, cause you never know what's gonna happen. You know, though they happen monopoly on all the needs. why would I buy this for six dollars if I could get it for two? it's it is the necessary evil right? I—Yeah. Everything's a necessary evil. I just figured it out, like this body is a necessary evil. Like I wouldn't even be existing in this way if I didn't have to. And then when I don't have to, I get to be free again. you know? Anyway, what the fuck was I just saying? or not saying, not saying for the most part. I don't have much to say, I'm not I'm really excited, I'm glad about how that last tract turned out, but it's not uh it's not finished. What what is finished? Oh, I had those two singles cleared, so hot little numbers is out today, but you won't hear this today. I can't I have no guarantees no guarantees about when you will hear this. I'm not sure anyway, I had a little voice in my head that was like do not leave your house and I was like, “I don't this is not a house.” And I was waiting on an Amazon package and Amazon the app does this weird thing where it's like, it'll be like the driver is this many stops away. this many stops away and it'll go from like three stops away to deliver it sometimes. So I was like refreshing and refreshing the page, like had nothing else to do. No, I just have to this is one of those times every few weeks where I have to not work out vigorously, and I had like a good run yesterday, but I think I overdid it after a period of stagnancy where I just didn't run that much at all. I didn't run that much at all. And then I ran like a lot and I was liking it so much because I was getting to go high speed, but if I'm out in my neighborhood every day running like that, like things get weird and shifty, so I don't I don't get the luxury of doing that all the time. cause my neighborhood is kind of just like a weird, bad shit, crazy place. I don't even think it really exists, like on the actual like, I think it's on grid off grid. Like I—I swear to God, there's things that move around that like should not, like things that are there and then are not, and then things that like it's just, you know, whatever. What is this episode for? I don't know if I can talk for an hour. I can't say, my energy's a little bit different, a little bit fucked up. Why was I not supposed to leave? I didn't give a fuck. I already did now we're on the Peloton, which is why I'm doing the subside right now. Well, I found a podcast that I might be interested in. I'm not sure. It takes it takes a lot. Like I realized that when I do this podcast, I'm giving myself energy. I don't know how but it gives me energy to to listen back to something that it feels like. I've never heard it before. Because I'm kind of an automatic out—out my body when I'm making these episodes and so it's not. It's like it's like hearing something new. Also, my my grown up voice doesn't sound like me to me. So I'm like, ah, like it's still new every time. hundrers of episodes later, it's new every time. For an hour at a time, and I'm really enjoying my Peloton. So would that being said, what do I have any honorable mentions? No, None. There's none at all. I am technically behind schedule well, actually, I mean like I'm catching up, you know, is this just on random? That's gonna bug me. where'd I put the remote. I liked the pattern that was on one of these lights in my studio, and so I thought it was gonna stay there, but it's alternating. I wonder if I can find that one thing that has started on again. Ooh, that's cool. Is it gonna stay there, though? That's dope. I'll just leave that like that— anyway. I'm going back to being a night person cause that's where the things are calm. That's where things are calm, but I'm also coming out of my like weird antisocial space cause of voice in my head was like, though, don't go out of your house. I was like, this is not a house. If it was, I probably wouldn't, but it's not, so I have to go do things in order to make sure that one day I have a house that I can choose to or not to leave. So. I was like, “yeah, I'll do that. I'll go wait for the Amazon guy.” “ I'll go wait for the Amazon guy and jus, like, creep. And so I did that. I went to go creep for the Amazon guy, and it was like, well, it's still three stops away and I was like, this is making me nervous cause it said three stops for like a good 30 minutes. I was like, ‘that's a long three stops.' So, I was like, just sitting in the lobby and I couldn't stand it. Like, I couldn't stand just standing there. So I turned around, I checked my mail, and it was like the same three articles that have been in there for like a month. I just leave them in there. I'm like, ‘these are of no importance really.' So I just leave whatever's in there in there. And I check my mail and I was like, ‘I can't just stand here like this!' and so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the gym for like five seconds because you know, it wasn't worth it and I knew there would be other people there because it's during the day. and there was, and I don't know, I guess I'm I guess I'm uh I guess I'm — I'm better now. As long as I don't have to have that experience all the time, cause I did go straight in there and then a dirp derp followed me in there and I was like, well, that kind of proves my point. So I left the downstairs and I went to the upstairs and there was this this girl just okay, advice: Like if you're ugly, don't be mean. I don't know if she was ugly cause she was mean, or if she was mean cause she was ugly. I don't know, but if you're ugly don't be mean, it makes it worse. That's just advice coming from somebody that's been ugly my whole life! So I'm not mean to people because you can't, like, you can't be ugly and mean. That's extra bad, bro, like, pick one thing and stick with it, but don't be mean and ugly. look, if you're ugly be really nice do that do that anyway, this girl: I don't know why the fuck people mean mug me. Like it's their business. I'm like, 'is this your job?‘ What is wrong?! What is wrong!? I don't know, because I went frumpy as fuck. It's not like I'm dressed. I went in a shirt that I found. I literally found this on a jog. It was brand new, though, and I keep wondering what the where the fuck it came from because I was like bro, if I was going to make T-shirts it would be like this. And it like it looked like it came hot off the press, like somebody screenrinted it for me. It's the coolest shirt. It's the coolest shirt and it brand new, and it was like brand new when I picked it up and saw it was like cool. But I went in like these they were marketed as fucking like you get what you pay for it. They were marketed as high impact sports bas, but then I put it on and it was pretty much like mesh with no support at all. Like I can't even run in them! I can't run in them, but I'm not running because I'm waiting for this injury to fucking all the swelling to go down or whatever. So I was on the Peloton, but I took it easy or whatever. and then I was like, 'well, my shoulders have been bothering me.' I'm trying not to take more than one bath a day. I do take a lot of baths, but it's cause I don't have a sauna anymore! That's why I'm like, oh man, my body got so used to like that extra pushing everything out and then like now if I don't, like my muscle just get all sore and whatever. I've thought about trying like creatine. I don't know, I'm just such a meathead when I when it comes down to it and I'm like bro, if I really get into training or like gym rattiness, like I —I go like probably to half. So my so I haven't been like lifting or anything like that, just cardio and um and I've been eating rice, so I'm I'm thick, you know, like i'm frumpy as fuck, just waiting for this Amazon order to come, and so I go into like the bottom level of the gym because I saw two people at the top and I was like, ‘oh, I'm gonna give you your space or whatever.' And so I went to the bottom, and I did a couple lifts or whatever, but then a derp-derp came in and she was on the phone like “blah, blah, blah, blah,” and I was like, ‘see. that just fucking proved my point.'and so I fucking went upstairs. I was like no matter what, like these fucking derp-derps. And so I was like, okay. And so I went back upstairs where, like the girl and I guess that was her man. I don't know. I guess maybe that's why she was looking at me. like that. I'm not looking at him! I'm looking at you scowling at me. Don't do that! Anyway. Fucking OH—I met the boyfriend of the other girl. I didn't know that was her boyfriend. Now I know why she was scowling at me. Stop scowling, like your face is gonna get stuck like that! I guarantee you and it's already not a good looking face. I'm only noticing this because you're scowling at me with it. Don't do that like I'm getting to the age where I'm careful like I smile when I want to frown like I have this natural, like a droopy dog, like a cartoon droopy dog face when something really hits me a certain way, my face will just automatically and, like — people only— — it like —I only know about it because people call attention to it like something would happen I'd make that face and they'd be like, what is that face? And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about until one day I guess I like noticed the muscular change in my face and I was like, oh, that face and so now I'm aware of it, but it's not something that I do on purpose. It's something that I do as a reaction to something, but now I'm getting to the age where I'm like, yo, if I keep making this face, there's gonna be lines in this area. Like there's gonna be lines in this area where there where there's going to be lines anyway, eventually, but I can prevent the like I can like if you smile more, you get smile lines when you get older, and if you frown, like that, then you get that face and I'm not trying to look like somebody's fucking dog, you know, like a fucking like, you know, like a cute dog, like a chow chow or like, what are those things? I don't know, I don't I don't know, I don't know. Anyway, how the fuck is like, oh, don't scowl! And I was like, I don't know if that's just your aura or your face, but now that you're looking at me like that, like, bro, don't don't do that. Don't be ugly and mean. Like you can either be mean, like most pretty people are mean, but then it's like, oh, I see why. I see why you're mean like that. Beautiful women are like usually. I'm like, ”you—scowl, I guess, but I mean like, it doesn't necessarily make anything worse if you're like a certain…” I don't scowl. I know I'm ugly. I don't go around like American people with my face I'm like don't do that. Don't do that, bro. Otherwise, good looking girl, otherwise otherwise, anyway, I don't know, I guess it's just uh, I've been here too long, dealing with this. Don't scowl, bro! I hate that! And then it's like, oh, I'm only looking at what you're I guess wanting me not to look at because you're looking at me like that and then I'm like, oh, I hate to see a good looking guy with like an ugly girl and then I'm like, 'bro like that's a waste. That's just a whole waste. This whole thing is a waste and you shifted my mind into thinking that way! now I'm mean!” passing on negativeives and shit ugly don't be ugly anyway what the fuck what? was that the story? Well, I mean, like I was just lifting for five seconds. I was only waiting on an Amazon package. I'd like to think that when somebody fucking presses their elevator button with their middle fing that they are flipping you off, but I was like, what did I do to you? Nothing, anyway. When do I have to say for the next fucking 20 minutes? That makes me seem like a shitty person, but I'm not that. I'm not that shitty. I finally did watch I finally did watch Bob the Drag Queen's opening monologue for the Queerlie's. That's what they're called. It's like on my it's on my to do list to be invited to a place like this. This is where I want to go and I'm like I'm not I I want well, I mean like I'm straight. I'm straight. Well, I'd like to think of my I'm like a gay man. I'm gay like a man for men. I'm like a gay man. I don't know how to I'm gay for men. And yeah. I guess I'm kind of queer. I don't know. I don't think so. Because when I think about aquer means like you can go both ways, I'm not going no way but one at this point. I'm strictly dickly. Super duper straight. I like dudes. I like gay dudes. That's a problem. That's like a like an ongoing problem. If I like a guy, I'm like, ”oh, man, he's probably gay.” He is he's gay, you know? It's it's okay. But you whatever, I just like dudes. I like all dudes. No, I don't like all dudes. I like all men. There's a fucking hard line between dudes, guys, men, boys don't like boys. Definitely like I don't even like college students anymore like even graduate students, I'm like oh, who are you? What do you baby? Oh, they're cute, like football players, professional athletes, children. They're children. They're adonises, sure, statuesque, perhaps genetically gifted, absolutely am I attracted? No. no, That's a kid. That's what I see. I'm old I'm old, that's okay. I like it. I'm starting to get like excited for Amazon packages that are not—I'm like, I'm opening my Amazon package like I waited all day for this. There's nothing in here.' regular household items, like true facts, facts. ah, but you know what? I paid a pretty price for this protein. It'd better be the best protein (it's not the best.) It's probably maybe the second best. Becahse the best that I've ever tried. I'm not behind the $80 per80 for 15 servings. That's too much. I haven't even actually done the fucking math on that, but that's too many. That's what that is. That's what that is. Like for protein? Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about? beef? Nah, I was talking about being meaty, but not in the way that you would think. And then I was talking about the Queerly's, so I guess we're back on meat, kind of. kind of. I don't know. what was it what was my point about that? Oh, I just I like gay culture, like not as like a, you know, I like it. I love it. I wanna go to the queeries. I wanna vogue. I still can't I can't bring myself to go to a vogue club in New York because I'm just like, bro, oh, that's what it was. I mean but not like drag queen mean. No. ans then I was thinking about I was thinking about Joan Rivers RIP and I was like is technically like like if she ex if a certain if a person like her existed now, would she be canceled? Like, because she was not nice. She was honest. Whixh is not necessarily always like a nice thing. So I mean like I don't I don't think I'm mean, especially when Bob the drag Queen reminded me that, like, yo, Gays are super fierce to each other, like to the point where it's like, oh, that's mean. Like, I forget that people actually like openly what's it called. Is it called roasting, like on all fronts? I don't know. I don't forget that, but, you know, it's when was the last good roast, though? Not for a long time. A lot of red tape, a lot of things you can't say. I think that's the theme that, you know, the cancellation of like the entire human race, has just changed media. It just changed theater, like, “Ohp, you can't say that!” Like, I'm I'm gonna say that. Maybe. I don't know, my whole my whole thing changes when I see other people. I'm like, oh, this could turn into like one of those fucking like this could be a stampede real quick. The herd mentality is thick and this motherfucker. If too many people all agree that I'm the enemy, this is bad for me. is bad. I'mma just stay— I'mma to just stay neutral. No honorableensions, nothing. I'm still I'm just in the midst. I'm in the thick of it, putting my things and my stuff together. I realized I'm really glad about a lot of things. Pretty glad about things. Um Also, um kind of a tortured soul. I'm not miserable, though. And I'm really good at not spreading my misery. That shit is like contagious as fuck. It's gross. Like, I'd rather be sneezed on than have some people's like form of depression or mental illness. I like, yo, you keep that to yourself. But in a lot of ways, those things are way more fucking spreadable, way more spreadable than just like like I can get over the flu, whatever your daddy did to you. I don't know. Anyway, no daddy jokes, that's also I can I'm like, uh, okay, what can you say? What can't you say? Because I'm about to take this thing to the next level. What is the next level? What is the next level Of which part? I'm in a lot of different I'm in like a lot of different, like, high stakes games. A lot of them. And so I'm like, “okay, what's the next comedy level? not falling on my face every time? It's probably a good place to start. It's probably a good place to start. We'll start there. I don't know when. Probably. I'm probably going to use comedy to Tears or a Clown because I'm really liking how it's turning out so far, and so far, don't have a song on there under five minutes. Is it under five minutes? I don't know. It's long. They're all long, but it's a concept album, so it's it's it's meant to be listened to more like a film or more like a, you know, like a play or like a musical, you know, because I'm weird like that. I don't I don't ever want to do anything normal or popular yet unless somebody offers me a house, like— a real house where no doors will be slammed. NO DOORS WILL BE SLAMMED! What, am I gonna slam the door for myself? I'm mad— at myself. No, take your shoes off, quiet. Unless you're landing on the hellipad. Does my house have a helipad? No. No, I feel like unauthorized helicopters would land on it. I feel like they would. if you build it, they will come. I'm like ooh. It's very like few it's like, “who the fuck is in the helicopter?!” I don't know. Well, I mean, like there's a couple different ones now anyway, it's not I'm not telling that joke. It's awkward, but then then I don't know. I had for some reason, I guess maybe that was the reason. I left out one card from the uh the Truth or Dab game that I ended up with, the Hot Ones game that I have no friends to play with. I still have the fucking sauce in my fridge from the game. Like I don't think you have to refrigerate it, but I refrigerated it anyway because I'm like, ‘it's hot sauce. ' Like, it should be perishable, but then I guess anything with a certain amount of vinegar is just preserved it preserved, you know? Damn, what the fuck am I about to say for an hour? I have no idea. I'm really nervous. I'm giving this entire album away for free. Stupid. Well, what the fuck? If nobody's going to buy it, might as well just like, you know, get it out there and get it to the next thing. I don't I don't have much else to say. What am I reading? Oh, I finally found my copy of the Odyssey Sure did. I think I have two copies of it, though. I think I have like a paperback version. Apparently the last time somebody opened it was 1981. Ans so I fucking I opened it and the whole the whole coverage just fell off, but I was getting my kicks. I really like…that book. I like that one. What else am I reading? Other things? I decided to finally. I decided to finally try to go through all the books I checked out of the library, like over a year ago so that I can take them back, but again, these things keep being relevant, like I just use them for reference. I'm really bad at libraries . I'm terrible at them. Like we could say historically, but I don't know, I haven't had like an enough adult experience with libraries to no, I'm like on record. It's I'm really bad at libraries. Yeah. like, really bad. Like, sometimes I've lost books on my way to take them back to the library. Isn't that ironic? Anyway, what the fuck is going on now? I don't know . The street Fighter's edition of “we don't give a fuck.” I'm guessing. I heard like a a like audible car accident and then like more yelling and it made me worry that somebody might be hurt because at first I was laughing. It was like and not like I heard the plastic crunch and, like, the fiberglass and I was like,” oh boy, ha ha.” And then like somebody was like yelling from the street and I didn't know if it was in relation to that because there's always crackhead down there. and there's always somebody doing some fuck shit right—there, and I'm like, ‘okay, all right, well, hopefully nobody got hurt. unless they were one of the people sitting under the window, like waiting to rev their engine. Then I'm like, “that's on you. I told you I'm not the one that deals karma at something else.” I don't know. I think it was just two vehicles, like not doing well together. New York drivers are not great, though. They have a very very little patience. Like, all you have to do is slow down a little and somebody's like,aby,ep,ep, beep, beep. I'm like, “Yo, dude like calm the fuck down. Calm the fuck down. Like that's not helping anything. It's not helping anything.” I think people need to work out more, maybe because I had already done my hour on the Peloton and whatever those vibes were were just like they were like shwing, like bouncing off me. I only did a couple lifts. I don't know why you gotta scowl. I guess I'm a little upset, cause I'm just I'm like a nice person. That's why I'm upset because I'm like, oh, like how do you do? I went frumpy. It's not like I'm like bending over in front of your man. It's like, 'hello, how y'all doing?' Like, I'm not doing that. All I'm doing is lifting. And then I fucking left because my fucking Amazon order was like, okay, it's delivered. And it said it was delivered early. So I could have gotten a couple more lifts in, but I didn't. I did not get those last few lifts in. So waiting because it was like, ‘yo, your package is in the mail room' and I was like, 'okay, cool.' So I went over back to the mail room and there was nothing there. and I was like , fuck this. Like, now I'm like sweating bullets. I'm like, 'oh my God. like, what if whoever stole my pancakes also stole this Amazon hall' — and like, Amazon keeps track of shit like that. so like I've had packages stolen before and they knew that by my credit card number they were like, ‘ yo like haven't you had this issue before?' I was like “yeah, but like that's why I told the Amazon driver to come to the door,” but the Amazon driver is like, ”no I'm fucking late or whatever, I'm not gonna do that!” Sometimes they do. It really just depends on what the fuck is going on. Sometimes I leave it at the fucking wear wherever I'm gonna leave it outside if I can. I'm like damn god damn. Like when when I was in the workforce workforce— cause trust me, like what I'm doing right now sometimes feels like slave wages. I'm like bro, did I really do this for two years and get $15 dollars? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. No, that doesn't mean that doesn't that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. It doesn't, right? does it? That's not a lot. No, it's not. I also don't have “billions of streams”. This saddens me. Oh, I got the lights to match. That's good. I didn't think they were gonna match. Anyway, what the fuck was I saying? I've been in —fucking— “billions of streams”. You need ten million for a hit. I get like I get giddy when I hit 200 streams for a song. I'm like, ‘wow. they really liked it.' and it makes me wonder how the fuck did I even get those? Tame Impala, according to YouTube. According to YouTube, people who like Tame Impala will , like, sit on my music a little bit longer than people just random coming in from any of my other places, but I haven't checked on my analytics in a while because… I wasn't dropping music eguch making me sad to watch my numbers just plummet and makes me sad anyway, and now I'm gonna know about the numbers. I'm like, ‘well, whatever' Here's chairs of clown comes out. I picked the date, but I'm not saying shit about it, cause I can still change my mind. I could still change my mind. I still might, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes with the next few tracks. It's almost finished. It's really oh— Uptown A has a new single. Oh. not not out yet. It will be by the time you hear this though. It's called what's it called? Suede. It's really good. I listened to it and I was like, 'I really like this song‘ which, like I said, it happens about one every ten songs. I'm like, ‘I really like this. I really like this.' Like technically those are the only songs that should be out are the songs that I listen to and I'm like I should I like this, but I don't I don't sit on my work long enough to do that anymore. I just don't because also I'll bury shit and forget that I even fucking made it. And then, it'll— and then I'll be like, “oh, it'll give me anxiety that I have it and I haven't done anything with it. And I have an attachment to most of my songs. Like, I won't just sell my beats, my beats are not cheap, though. Like, I almost was on beatstars—this website for be selling, but there was a couple things that made me not do it mostly, I guess they're trying to, I guess what they're trying to do is like sell their brand or whatever. So everybody that's already on the site was talking about how there's no—like, it's it's really hard to get circulated as an artist. Like you'll have beats on there for months and years at a time without selling any beats. And you have to be like, really aggressive about, um, like you like my it would like I'm already being really aggressive about my actual songs, so like to be that aggressive about my beats would not be like it would be like two different things. It felt like two different paths, so I didn't do it. But what was I just saying about that? Oh, my beats are not cheap. Like, I'm not gonna do 20 for 20. It would literally have to take me less than five minutes for me to sell beat that cheap. Like I would have to throw it together with like no technique whatsoever, just a bunch of loops, and then I'd be like, here's some which is what I was planning to do with some drill beats, because I know that they're just like drill beats are cheap, like period, because they don't I don't think they matter so much as long as it's got the bass and then, like, whatever that little dude is saying. It's always a little dude. It's always a little dude. It's likeah, ‘yeah. I uh,' I don't know, I love artists. I I'm starting to feel less like an artist, though, and more like a producer, or like, you know, like a creator of sorts. I'm borrowing, though. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie. Because, hell, man, he's such a dick sometimes. I was like, bro. be like something some artist, something, something, and Gee was like, “I'm not an artist, I'm a creator!” But that's I guess since it's so easy for anybody to just say like “I'm an artist” now, I don't know, I feel like that's the whole point of like the human experience is like, everybody has an art like, you know, it's just the thing that makes it difficult is that adding value to it has no, there's no right and there's no wrong and there's no good and there's there's bad. There's bad. There's a lot of art in the world that's just bad. It's not good, but like to the person that made it, like that's their shit. So like in that way their technically is no bad because to that at least one person in the world, the person who made it, it's good. So when it comes to art, there's technically no right and wrong. I'm not going to say there's no good and bad, because I like I said, I collect bad music. Like if it's if it's notoriously bad, I'll be like, yeah. like it's probably easier to get my attention if your music is bad, than if it's good. If it's good, I'm almost intimidated like as an artist. Like, I'll be like, oh, this is too good. It's probably gonna make myself esteem not great. if I spend too much time with it. That's true. I don't listen to really good artists anymore, because I'm like, oh, man. Like, I'll just sit there and shit on myself and be like, why, am I not at this level? And even when it comes down to it and it's like all about business and all about like, you know, your connections or like, you're you know, like it's about who you know. And like, look, sometimes it's about talent, but like less of the time than it should be. Like, sometimes it's just like, who your parents are and all this shit. So it's like, I shouldn't feel that way, but I had a lot of the time I can't help it. Like, I'll be sitting and listening to an artist that's like, you know, ”billions of streams!”. and I'm like, “fuck this.” I'm like, ‘I don't wanna hear this. cause I'm not there.' It's like, is, it if I have any kind of envy or jealousy in me, it's probably that. But then when it comes down to it's like, you gotta take the good with the bad. It's not all fucking pancakes, it is all pancakes. Most of this actually. whatever I cut. I'm looking forward to this smoothie. This would better be the best protein I ever had in my life for the price that I paid for, this is better be the fucking best smoothie I've ever had. Uh, we'll see. This is about to be smoothies and miso time. I'm trying to lose 50 pounds. i don't know what realm that is, but I think. I'm pretty sure that would require, like losing muscle, which is fine. I'm— I might be too strong. I went to the gym. I didn't need to. That dude, I swear to God he flipped me off. ‘Cause here's what happened, is, like, the Amazon package said it was delivered. I was like ”cool. all right.” So I left the gym. I was like, ‘bye.' I was like, ‘see ya.' And I, well, I was lifting. Did I make him feel like a bitch? Is that what it was? Because—because I was lifting and I was just whatever light work because I'm actually in a lot of pain. Like, I told myself that I was I was going to buy myself a gift because nobody buys me gifts on the one day that you should everybody should get a gift on this one day and nobody buys me gifts on this day. So I was like, ‘I'm going to buy myself a gift.‘ But as soon as I put money like, aside for that, I had this injury and I immediately just took money out of that fund for fucking ibuprofen and I was like, hey. Another year. Like that's that's my gift. I was like, So so I'm in a lot of pain, so I'm not doing it like regular I'm in my harem pants and I'm in pain. So I'm like not doing anything special. And I'm doing this, and this dude. I think I made him feel like a bitch. That's what that was, cause like, I don't know what they were doing, some YouTube thing where they were like flapping their arms around, like dinkus, DINKUS., that's what you look like. You look like a dinkus, anyway. I'm not paying attention to I'm not giving people negative attention until they're doing weird shit around me. Then I'm like, now I'm looking at you because you're mean mugging me. Don't do that. I don't with your face, dear, I don't recommend that. Don't don't scrunch up your face like that. No. Anyway, mm. aren't all people beautiful? No, not if you live in New York long enough. Eventually, everybody just scoe at each other to death. That's the whole place. I'm like, where are the happy people at? Fucking on a plane! I think for rich people, the quality of life here is different. I think that the luxury of living in New York is that they're like, ”I live in New York”, but they do that like, around the globe. That's what they do. They're like, yeah, I live in New York, but like they're hardly ever in New York. Or there's just a bunch in New York that I haven't seen while I've seen it when the sun hits it just right, it glistens. I'm like, ‘oh. that's a different place.' No, it's an optical illusion. Oh, it doesn't exist. I'm like, “okay, all right.” Try to find that shiny ass, what is that golden —[thingy] anyway? I'm like, “nah, no, it's a trap, “ because if you actually get to Manhattan on the street level, it's just like you can't see the buildings. Like you just at the bottom and you just shadows, even on the sunny days, just like you're in the cold shadows. That's what that place is. I haven't been over there in so long. Never in Manhattan. That place is scary. It's like a supercomputer. But— I guess performance wise in comparison to other like, major cities in the world is not great. I feel like it's pretty great. I feel like it's pretty great. But, you know, I haven't seen Tokyo or where where else was on that list? I don't know, I skipped around a lot. My ADD is unchecked. up. Anyway, I'm kind of annoying, I's okay. Somebody's gonna like it. Somebody, there's somebody for everybody. You see? I don't know why that pissed me off, because that's the second time I got a scowled at in the elevator by an ugly girl. I'm like, why the fuck are you ugly? Oh, cause you're scowling at me. I didn't even see that until you darted me those fucking little eyes. and then I was like “ugh. rude!” I like, I think it's the vibe. I think that's what that is. Cause like, I also notice when people smile at me and I'm like, ”oh, what a beautiful person,” or if somebody's just like resting, not even resting resting bitch face, just like resting face. Like if there's actually muscles in your body that are working towards being angry at me, I notice. I'm like, ”oh, yo, don't do that.” I don't know why that bothered me so much. Then her dude fucking leans over to fucking press the elevator button and he does it with his middle finger. Like, I like to think if it's like if the button and the finger are like like adjacent to your face, like, eye level and here comes the middle finger. You like, that dude was flipping me off, but I'm like, I don't know, I don't know why you would do that. I think I made him feel like a bitch in front of his mean girl. Why—why are you if you're in a couple, why is anybody in this situation mad? Like if you're in a loving, happy, like a healthy relationship, like you shouldn't even see the rest of the world around you, honestly. If you're two people in love, you don't notice like you don't see shit like that. Like the whole world just caves. like it just falls around like you don't notice when you're all fucking in love and all giggly and everything. She's like 'ha ha like, yes, we are together and nothing else really exists. ‘ Like that's I don't know why the fuck you guys are both mean mugging, like that seems like some self reflective. I don't know what the fuck you mad at. I just that a couple lifts. He like starts doing pushups I was like,get it. get it!” Because, I'm encouraging like that, but I'm not looking at him because honestly, eh. like. Like, she don't jump for much these days. Like, she really knows when she likes something, my dragon, or whatever. Like she really knows. She's like, ”yeah, yeah.” But for the most part, like, I don't know, I can tell in like a person's aura or like a vibe, like, if they have something for me, something for me, you know, like if something is— she's gonna notice, she's gonna like, oh, hey, but nothing here. So I don't know why I have the fuck you're looking at me like that, cause the way you're looking at me is pissing me off, and that's how contagious— that's how contagious negative energy could be. Luckily, I was already on the Peloton for an hour. I just finished a song that made me laugh a lot. It made me laugh a lot, and in the moment in the moment, what's fucked up is everybody was heckling this guy, but I think he might have actually been like a professional or he was just some crackhead. I don't think so. First of all, he got the most laughs. I'm listening back to this recording and I'm like, “yo, everybody's—” he made me laugh. I heard myself laugh on this recording. And then as I'm making this song, the number of different laughs from around the room that I'd like that were beautiful to me because I love the sound of laughter… So the difference this I'll— I'll talk more in depth about this album as it's finished and as it's coming out in the next few days. um I still have ‘All The Rage' to come out before that. What day is it coming out? The 10th? Yeah, the 10th. All The Rage is coming out on the 10th, but it has a single coming out on the the All The Rage has a single coming out on April 7th called Sweet Dreams, and then it'll be out three days later. It's pretty much like a hype up single. There's two singles out from that. Yeah, Hot Little Number is also on All The Rage. So Hot Little Number is coming out in the next couple days, because they just felt like there should be at least like one release in March. I did some releases in early March, but not much. Um, and then oh, the single for yeah, I'm only taking one single off of that, because they're so massive. All the songs on Tears of a Clown are like six, five, six, seven minutes. It's it's a true concept album. It's true to itself, and so that's it's cool because it's kind of like pushing me into the next batch of things and working on a I don't know if it's a remix or if it's just like a a dubstep song with heavy sampling cause I'm getting into more dub stuff. butit's crazy cause I got mad at myself because I was like, “oh, I really wanted to fucking I really wanted to finish this.” I don't wanna jinx it so I don't wanna talk about what it is. But I'll talk about it when it does get done. And now I'm understanding that like it's just being major focusshifted. Like, because I cared so much about it that I didn't want to just do it and then be like, that's it. Like, that's it. And it was gonna go on Tears of a Clown but then I was like, I can't because it samples a song that was actually I think it was like a fucking I think it was a hit-ish a TikTok. is it really a hit which it's just on TikTok? I think so, because of the audience on that TikTok has. I refuse. I refuse. I downloaded TikTok once during the pandemic and two things made me never ever go on TikTok again is that it only showed me what appeared to be underage girls doing things that I would slap the shit out of anybody I saw doing like you could be a grown ass woman if you did any of those things. I would hit you like, I—well—no. I'm learning about this. I'm like, ‘oh.' I'm learning about people who make you want to hit them, but you can't. That's things like that's as I think it's a coming of age. I've never had this experience before where it's like, oh, like, you're doing everything in the world to make me want to hurt you. but I can't. Like I have to exercise restraint. That's a fucked up feeling. It's like being penned down. I'm like, oh, like like that's like you can't like you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. What are you gonna do about it?? I don't know, boss up. That's the only thing I can do. I'm like, well, that's that, but oh, it makes me wonder, what makes me kind of understand to a certain extent, like, bro, like, is this what it's like to have a girlfriend? She's gonna make me mad. She's gonna well, I'm I'm not that kind of guy. And I swear to that I'm not. I swear I'd probably be that kind of lesbian, though. like bitch, I will hit you. We are the same gender. like, we could duke it out. We could dupe this out! I'm kidding. I'm not violet. I swear to God, I'm not. But sometimes like I guess it's an episode about about energy, negative energy. It's like I work out enough that like it should just roll off today this. But it wasn't like violent. It was just like, “ooh. girl. You better stop flapping those arms and get you a Peloton. I don't know what the fuck you're looking at me like that for!” I swear, because the anger the anger set into my body.'s like, bro, I just don't like looking at shit that don't look good. I'm an aesthetic person, so like, that's why I don't jog in my neighborhood, cause for the most part, like, I'm gonna take in too much negative, like the negative is gonna outweigh the positive. Like, I can run in circles around whatever my radius around this bitch. but if I see too much trash on the ground, it just depresses me. Like it just makes me upset. and so it like undoes the good that I'm doing by running unless I'm sprinting, but I can't do too much of that. I can't do too much of that. I sprinted almost two miles yesterday I almost top speed, and then those my motorcycle stalkers started stalking me, and so I st like I—I like ran out of steam. I was like, you know I was like, I was like, ugh. There they are. Like, that's weird. How can something like that happen? Anyway. I was like, nah, I'm just gonna fucking jog the rest of this little the rest of this the this last mile or whatever. I'm just gonna jog it, but I sprinted most of that, but then when I got back, I was like, why the fuck am I out of energy? Bitch, because you hit like 11 miles at least. I'm pretty sure what my top speed is like between 11 and 12. if I just spread it, but then that's slow. In comparison to some. That's what I'm saying. pretty sure I wrote like a rhyme recently. I'm I'm not writing so much as organizing, try to anyway. I'm doing a lot at once. What else happened? I don't know. I'm not scowling, your boyfriend's not that cute. I wasn't even looking until you made that face, and I'm like, wh are you trying to defend something here? Is it worth defending? Oh, but the first girl that scowled me, her boyfriend is cute. She needs to do that more, but she needs to be with him, when she does that, like, “girl, you better wash your man's!” .And he has a accent. I don't know where the fuck he's from, cause half of the shit he said was not. I was like, what? what? He is cute. I didn't notice that when she was scowling at me, and that's probably why she I was like, “what is that face? “ Girl? And then I didn't know that was him, cause he went into their apartment. Don't worry, I'm not that kind of girl. like, that's yours. I guess keep making that face. Keep making that face. Do that. Do that. He's cute. I think she'd be cute too, if she wasn't doing that. So, you know, whatever. They' they're probably— and $4 got her flowers! Aw. Aw, and then he said something, oh, cause he thought, and so he doesn't think un is, don't worry. Don't worry, he doesn't. He thought I was delivering Amazon packages because I picked up my Amazon packages. I was picking up my packages and he was like, “oh, you don't need a key for the elevator.“ And I was like, not trying to explain. Like, "No, I live here, I know that. Like” so I was like, okay. And at first I thought he might be like this sounds bad. At first I thought he was deaf, cause whatever he said sounded like a whole, like a whole rolling mumble, and I was like, okay, and I was still listening to my fucking music. And then he kept talking. and so I was like, oh, I have to —and I wasn't even looking at him until I like turned off my music. And then I was I was like, damn. who the fuck is this? And then I was like, oh, like I saw that he lives on the same floor as me. and I was like, ”oh, “ like the elevators and the the the buttons and the elevator are different on both sides. So it depends on which elevator you get where the button is and I press the wrong button, and so he thought I was delivering Amazon package. I was like, no, I'll live here. like like I live here.We live on the same floor, you actually pressed the button already”, and then he said something back and I was like, 'oh, oh, he's he's just from somewhere else. He's not American.' i usually only like American dudes. I like dudes sometimes, not not all the time. I like dudes, sometimes. I like men all the time. That's all around the clock thing that I like. I like them more, increasingly, and the more like stable I get my singularity. I really like them because they can do all the fuck they like all the fuck shit they do is entertaining because they're not doing it to me. I'm like, “okay. I see. like that.” Yeah. I'd be A real, real real, real broad dyke. I'm not gonna lie. I don't like females. I'm not anti feminist. I just for the most part, like get impatient, cause I'm like, what can you do for me? Nothing. Nothing, exactly. I like a friend or something. No, females are never friends with each other. Let's just get that clear. I think I've just figured this out. I just figured this out, like, we'll pretend to be in each other's best interests…. Usually, I mean it. Because I'm not all the way I'm not 100% female. I am very nonbinary in the way they're like I genuinely, genuinely care—typically— if I if I care. if I let myself care, then I genuinely care. But I don't not have the same experience with other females and so I'm just learning this though. Like I'm just learning other females in the competitive sense as I'm learning males. I'm like, “oh, like, I get it. Like if you sense any superiority in me whatsoever, like, you're like, I become your enemy, like, I become your target and you're trying to kill me!” I'm like, ‘that sucks.' To me, like, but if I sense any inferiority in you whatsoever, you're like a nonfactor. Like, I don't— I'm not trying to kill you. I don't care what happens to you. I already won. Let's just all be this way. Just have a oh, oh, that was that thing that I heard. The one thing that I heard. I was like, and it clicked in my brain a certain way. It was that ‘insecurity makes people act crazy.' And I don't know why, but like it clicked with me in a certain way because typically I don't have to bring my insecurities out front or if I do, it works for me in a way that like— it works for me, because if I point if I point like I guess that's the comic or comedian in me. If I point out my indiscretions or my flaws, then it works for me because typically, the person that does sense that inferiority in some kind of way, they get kind of like, it if inflates their ego. It puffs them up and makes them feel like, oh, like, you know, like or, you know, OR— it makes them what's it called, like sympathize with you if they have like some of the same insecurities and it puts you on the same level of equality where it like humanizes you are humanizes them and then you and then you have like, a connection. I'm I'm just you know, I'm just figuring out like human connection in the way that, like, makes sense. So, I'm not I I'm not gonna pretend to know everything because I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to. and I with the understanding that, like, on a conscious level, like I well, I mean, like certain certain factors certain factors would indicate that yes, on a conscious level, I do and am, and know everything, but, like to be aware of it at all times would literally be insanity. I wouldn't want to be like allie was like that a lot of the time and I was like,bro, you need to get off God because I well, God is where he went. He was like,I'm just gonna die.” I was like “cool. fuck you, dude. Fuck you.” Like he was like, I'm just gonna die. *Explode! * i was like, all right, ‘whatever. Whatever dog.' I was still a little bit. I am I still grieving? I'm still grieving? I'm thinking I'm like in the acceptance part. where it's like,‘ oh, you're you're right. Like you're you're right about a lot of things and like your freedom is that you're hopefully. Well, see, he might have had some other shit to do. He might have had other shit to do, so I just I kind of have this thing where it's like he still actually like he's in another realm figuring out. figuring out things. Figuring out things. That's what you do when you die, and you haven't done everything yet. I know that much, but I know that the less I know, the better, ha, Tame Impala and also like, he's just a five. And again, uh, I don't I don't the whole music industry is herpes, like, don't touch me, don't well, Tame Impala can do better. So, so, I don't worry about things like that. I don't to worry about things like that, but the whole music industry, Herpes. I don't I don't think it would be hard to be with another musician. Like, really? I like pretty dudes. I like pretty guys, and I like pretty men. Pretty boys, though. I'm like,' oh, youes gots to learnings to do.” You gots to fuck around for like 50 more years. And then maybe we can have like a tea. In 50 years?! yeah, yeah. was you know, then what are we gonna do? There's none of like all the dumb shits out the way. All the dumb shit and all those dumb girls. all the girls like get the girls out of the way and then like a few of the women, like a lot of the women, like, get all the dumb shit out the way. And then talk to me. or don't. In fact, in fact, that's how I wanted to go. My next actual thing with like a person of the opposite gender should be—seriously wordless. like, it shouldn't have to have like, I don't have to explain myself to you. if I have to do that, I'm already doing too much work. I would I think I just might be a single forever. It's cool. I'm like “yay, I got over it.” And now I well, how am I gonna— I'm like I devising a plan, “how to hold babies without being weird.” Like, I—I want to do that. I don't necessarily want to take it all the way. Like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be a midwife or a dula. don't wanna be like a baby— I don't want to be anything in the medical field because gross. Gross, gross. I thought I was gonna be at EMT for a while, because they're like, “oh, no, no, you're too old to be a firefighter!” That's okay. after living this long in New York, I'm like, running into a burning building would probably be like at the top of my priorities, if that were my job. You don't don't talk to me on the wrong day. I will try and fail to save everybody in this burning building. That's I'm you know, that's where I'm at. so it's probably good that I missed the cut off for being an actual firefighter. But then, oh, I signed up to be an EMT and they were like, oh, it's a year and a half wait, but then once you get into the program, the way that it works is that like you ‘technically, like word training you on a loan. So like everything that you make in the first, however many years, you actually owe back to us and you can't quit.' And I was like, that's kind of that's okay, because it's like job security. But then ey, I met an EMT that was taking the same bus as I was and I was like bro like that doesn't make sense. Like, you have a you have a full-time job and we're on the same bus, that's no. No, like you should be able to afford the next level of transportation hug. That's that's wrong, that's a hard job. ‘You should get paid more,' but then I was like, it's okay.' What was the second thing? Oh, I went to the ER. My first trip to the ER in New York was like was like the trip that I would never take to the ER in a third world country. I like I thought about it in Mexico a couple times. I was like, ‘bro, if it came down to it.' Because I saw like a building that I didn't know was like a functional building. I thought it was like a shell of a building, but then there was like a there was like a flickering sign on the front of the building that was like, you know, this is a hospital, this is the ER. And I was like, “no, it's not.” And I was like “this is like a shut down hospital, right?” But then there was like somebody at the entrance and I was like, 'okay.' And then I thought to myself 'like, okay, if I had to go to this fucking hospital or like just duke it out with whatever the fuck is happening, like what would be my choice?' And I was like, ‘I would probably just like take it.' I'd probably just take it. I'm not gonna lie, you know? like that. But the end, well I had to go, I had to go and honestly, New York ER is not super different, not you like not not anything like the ERs on the West Coast. is not the safest place. No. No, I did not want to be there. And then when I'd witnessed what an EMT does in a New York City, like ER, I was like, oh. I am— uh what's it called? [withdrawing] I'm taking out my applications. Oh, that was hardcore. What was it like a gunshot? It was something I think it was. I think that was a couple gunshot wounds in there. I was like, you know, 'no, this is what they do. This is what they do all the time.' Ive just I've reached a level of I can't do that with a lot of professions. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not unwilling to work. It's just like I can't. Like my heart can't take it. Like it cannot. I've, you know, I've been around. I'm no spring chicken. I've already had some grief. grief. Like I don't think I can do that. So hat's off to the people in the blue, whatever. “all lives matter.” This is true. But, you know, I'm not picking those sides. Anyway, it is true. Everybody. Everybody makes sense in a certain way, right? Okay, I'm just trying to take up this last minute. What the fuck was this episode for? That was a fast hour. I'm surprised by myself. Don't scowl if you're ugly. Like, don't be ugly and scowl. I don't I don't know which thing happened first. I don't know if she was already ugly, so she's scowling. or if the scowling just, like changed everything. I've said this before, I'll say it again, like you can be —you can look, however, but as a person who like sees sings speaks vibrations, like if your whole shit's fucked up. like, that's what I see. So it will be the prettiest girl, boy, man, trans. You could be the prettiest cat. You would be a cat. I'm— I'm not— look, you know, I'm not into beastiality; pansexuality. sure, you know? I've had crushes on trees. Me and my Peloton have a thing going, but I spend a lot of time sitting on it. [MENACING IMMORTAL LAUGHER] a.k.a “mwahaha' Sorry. Okay, I was about to— That's enough, right? Yeah, that was so— —Somebody help that fucking bitch. they lady, man! that lady in her fucking dragon I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen. Like, don't worry, it is a very small percentage of people in the whole population that she's actually gonna try to actually hunt down and murder. You know, gently. death by snusnu. as possible as most of these dudes don't have, you know, like, I'll kill you. Don't scowl at me, and like, I will literally kill your boyfriend. Like, doll like by choice, though, I wouldn't kill him. So don't worry, you can take that face off now. Jesus Christ all day anyway. All day and all night, okay? Have a good day or night or whenever the fuck you're listening to this. Thank you for listening. More stuff soon, because we'll see what happens with the like, you know, with the website and whatever. I am you dot guru. That's what it is for the foreseeable future. That's what that is. I i A-M-U DOT GURU I gotta work on this website. It's gotta be it's like I can't overhype it. I can't do all this spelling out and promoting my own website if it's not gonna be like the most spectacular—smoothie that I've ever had, which is happening right now. Amen. {Enter The Multiverse} The Complex Collective © [The Festival Project ™ ] -Ū.

Whether you check your horoscope religiously or just know your sun sign and call it a day, this episode is for you. We're diving into astrology not as fate or fluff—but as a tool for clarity, confidence, and career alignment. Joining me is Tali Edut, one half of the iconic AstroTwins duo (yes, the astrologers behind Beyoncé's chart). Tali and her sister Ophira are celebrity astrologers, authors of over 20 books, and creators of the I*AM System—a framework that blends astrology with leadership and self-awareness. Their newest book, The Astrology Advantage: Use Your Horoscope for Personal and Professional Success, shows how your birth chart can help you navigate relationships, leadership, business, and life... without needing to memorize your moon sign. We unpack what it means to be an Innovator, Maven, or Authority (I'm an Authority, for the record), and how these archetypes can be your secret edge in work and in life. Think of this as astrology, upgraded—less “woo,” more who you are and how to own it. In This Episode, We Cover: ✅ How astrology can support your personal growth and career clarity ✅ The 3 I*AM leadership archetypes—and how to find yours ✅ What a birth chart actually reveals about your natural gifts ✅ Using astrology as a practical tool for decision-making ✅ Why self-awareness is the real success advantage ✅ How to trust your intuition (with or without a star map) Whether you're deeply into astrology or just astro-curious, this episode offers practical insight and a few cosmic winks. Because knowing yourself better? That's always in the stars. Connect with Tali:  Website: www.astrostyle.com   Book: https://astrostyle.com/astrology-advantage/  Take the I*AM Quiz: https://galaxy.astrostyle.com/go/iam-quiz TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@astrotwins_ IG: https://instagram.com/astrotwins  FB: https://facebook.com/AstroTwins Related Podcast Episodes: Finding Purpose Through Human Design with Emma Dunwoody | 228 Self Discovery And Human Design with Karen Curry Parker | 227 The Enneagram And Why It's All The Rage with Kristi Rowles | 226 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!

We are continuing our Rainbow Valley discussion and focusing on the Meredith children's impulsive hijinks and the way the adults around them react, or don't react, to their shenanigans.  We take John Meredith to task, break down how the patriarchy has helped enable this situation and learn a little about what parentification is and why the Meredith kids are poster children for it! Inspired by: Kelly is inspired by Normal Women by Philippa Gregory. Ragon is inspired by All The Rage by Darcy Lockman and Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. If you want to get a free logo sticker from us, either leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or share your love for the pod on social media!  Send us a photo of your share or review at either our email: kindredspirits.bookclub@gmail.com or on our KindredSpirits.BookClub Instagram. 

This week: are we drowning in a sea of twee? Gareth Roberts writes the cover article this week, arguing against what he sees as the hideous triviality of our times. ‘The British have lost their aversion to glutinous sentimentality,' he declares. How did we get here, and who are the worst offenders? Gareth argues that the triumph of twee has left us unable to face serious things with seriousness. Could there be sinister consequences if we don't take this more seriously? Gareth joined the podcast to make his case, alongside Josh Cohen, psychoanalyst and author of All The Rage (00:49). Then: was Graham Brady the ‘kingmaker' or the ‘kingslayer' of the past Tory era? The shadow cabinet member and Conservative M.P. Alex Burghart has reviewed Graham Brady's new book Kingmaker: Secrets, Lies and the Truth about Five Prime Ministers in the books section of the magazine this week. Looking back on his time as chair of the influential 1922 Committee, Graham provides his reflections on what has been an historic, and often turbulent, period in British politics. Having now taken a seat in the Lords, Graham joins the podcast with The Spectator's political editor, Katy Balls, to reveal what he really thought about that time in office and what his advice to his successor would be (16:07). And finally: are pigs in blankets the best Christmas food? It would seem so, according to The Spectator's data editor Michael Simmons, who provides his notes on the festive treat in the magazine this week. His only gripe, as a proud Scot, is that they should really be called ‘kilted sausages'. He reveals that Brits are expected to eat a whopping 668 million of them over the Christmas season. Why are they so good, and how can you elevate your Christmas meal over the coming season? Michael joins the podcast alongside Martyn Lee, head of product at Yeo Valley and the former executive chef of Waitrose and Tesco. Plus, a guest appearance of pigs in blankets from The Spectator's local pub, The Two Chairmen – will they pass Michael's taste test? (26:58). Hosted by William Moore and Lara Prendergast. Produced by Patrick Gibbons, Oscar Edmondson, and Cindy Yu.

This week: are we drowning in a sea of twee? Gareth Roberts writes the cover article this week, arguing against what he sees as the hideous triviality of our times. ‘The British have lost their aversion to glutinous sentimentality,' he declares. How did we get here, and who are the worst offenders? Gareth argues that the triumph of twee has left us unable to face serious things with seriousness. Could there be sinister consequences if we don't take this more seriously? Gareth joined the podcast to make his case, alongside Josh Cohen, psychoanalyst and author of All The Rage (00:49). Then: was Graham Brady the ‘kingmaker' or the ‘kingslayer' of the past Tory era? The shadow cabinet member and Conservative M.P. Alex Burghart has reviewed Graham Brady's new book Kingmaker: Secrets, Lies and the Truth about Five Prime Ministers in the books section of the magazine this week. Looking back on his time as chair of the influential 1922 Committee, Graham provides his reflections on what has been an historic, and often turbulent, period in British politics. Having now taken a seat in the Lords, Graham joins the podcast with The Spectator's political editor, Katy Balls, to reveal what he really thought about that time in office and what his advice to his successor would be (16:07). And finally: are pigs in blankets the best Christmas food? It would seem so, according to The Spectator's data editor Michael Simmons, who provides his notes on the festive treat in the magazine this week. His only gripe, as a proud Scot, is that they should really be called ‘kilted sausages'. He reveals that Brits are expected to eat a whopping 668 million of them over the Christmas season. Why are they so good, and how can you elevate your Christmas meal over the coming season? Michael joins the podcast alongside Martyn Lee, head of product at Yeo Valley and the former executive chef of Waitrose and Tesco. Plus, a guest appearance of pigs in blankets from The Spectator's local pub, The Two Chairmen – will they pass Michael's taste test? (26:58). Hosted by William Moore and Lara Prendergast. Produced by Patrick Gibbons, Oscar Edmondson, and Cindy Yu.

NEAL MORSE & THE RESONANCE ANNOUNCE NEW RELEASE ‘NO HILL FOR A CLIMBER' AND LAUNCH FIRST SINGLE “ALL THE RAGE' EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL EVENT ON INTERVIEWING THE LEGENDS WITH RAY SHASHO! Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of Interviewing the Legends I'm your host Ray Shasho. Neal Morse is an American singer, musician and composer based in Nashville, Tennessee. In 1992, he formed the progressive rock band Spock's Beard with his brother Alan, he joined Dream Theater's co-founder and then drummer Mike Portnoy, formed the super-group Transatlantic. In 2002, Neal Morse became a born-again Christian, left Spock's Beard and began a Christian rock solo career, releasing many progressive rocks concept albums about his new religious faith, He continued to play with Transatlantic and formed three new bands with Portnoy, Yellow Matter Custard, Flying Colors and The Neal Morse Band. One of his most recent projects included two critically acclaimed solo releases with D'Virgilio, Morse & Jennings. Throughout his long career, Neal Morse has often been a musical collaborator, usually with some of the greatest prog musicians across the world. This time, Morse has brought that collaborative spirit closer to home. The new album by Neal Morse & The Resonance – entitled ‘No Hill for A Climber' will be released  November 8th, 2024, and the title is taken from a resonant line in Barbara Kingsolver's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Demon Copperhead. PLEASE WELCOME AMERICAN SINGER,SONGWRITER,MULTI-INSTRUMENTALIST NEAL MORSE TO INTERVIEWING THE LEGENDS … PREORDER NO HILL FOR A CLIMBER BY NEAL MORSE AND THE RESONANCE OFFICALLY REALEASED NOVEMBER 8TH Pre-order now here: https://nealmorse.lnk.to/NoHillForAClimber To coincide with the announcement, the track ‘All The Rage' has been launched with a brand new video. Watch it now here: https://youtu.be/BSXjvdHqADk?si=F_0g0Inzs48UoJvy “Awesome album! I can safely say this will be a fave of the year for me!” – Mike Portnoy Faithful to any Neal Morse prog album, ‘No Hill For A Climber' features two epics (the 28 minute ‘No Hill For A Climber' and ‘Eternity In Your Eyes', which clocks in at 22 minutes) as well as three shorter songs: ‘Ever Interceding', ‘All The Rage' and ‘Thief'. The latter, Morse admits, is his current favorite: “It's so different… it's in all these different sections, and I'm really happy with the way each part has come out. It's pretty crazy. There's even a really cool King Crimson-style instrumental bit in the middle that Chris Riley originally came up with at the Radiant School a couple of years ago.” For all of these reasons, Morse believes that the whole album is unique, but notes that “if I was going to compare its structure to an album I've done in the past, it might be along the lines of ‘Bridge Across Forever' or Spock's Beard's ‘V'; it's not that it sounds at all like those albums, it's just structurally similar. It has voices and playing styles and soundscapes that many people will have never heard before! Everyone you work with changes you a little bit, so even sound a little different on this one, but I hope that everyone will love it!”   FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT NEAL MORSE & RADIANT RECORDS VISIT https://nealmorse.com/ Official website https://nealmorse.com/morsefest-2024-2025/ Morsefest official website https://www.facebook.com/nealmorse/ Facebook https://x.com/nealmorse Twitter https://www.instagram.com/neal_morse_official Instagram https://www.youtube.com/user/NealMorseMusic/featured YouTube   TOUR DATES Moresefest November 8, 2024 - November 9, 2024 White House, TN Morsefest 2024 USA @ New Life Fellowship November 15, 2024 - November 16, 2024 Zoetermeer, The Netherlands Morsefest 2024 EU @ De Boerderij January 17, 2025 - January 18, 2025 Brentwood, London, UK Morsefest 2025 UK @ Trinity Church   NEAL MORSE Discography With Spock's Beard Main article: Spock's Beard § Discography The Light (1995) Beware of Darkness (1996) The Kindness of Strangers (1998) Day for Night (1999) V (2000) Snow (2002) Singer-songwriter albums Neal Morse (1999) It's Not Too Late (2002) Songs from the Highway (2007) Songs from November (2014) Life & Times (2018) Late Bloomer (2024) Neal Morse & The Resonance No Hill for a Climber (2024)   Prog albums Testimony (2003) One (2004) ? (2005) Sola Scriptura (2007) Lifeline (2008) Testimony 2 (2011) Momentum (2012) Jesus Christ the Exorcist (2019) Sola Gratia (2020) The Dreamer: Joseph, Part One (2023) The Restoration: Joseph, Part Two (2024) Worship albums Lead Me Lord (Worship Sessions Volume 1) (2005) God Won't Give Up (2005) Send the Fire (Worship Sessions Volume 2) (2006) Secret Place (Worship Sessions Volume 3) (2008) The River (Worship Sessions Volume 4) (2009) Mighty to Save (Worship Sessions Volume 5) (2010) Get in the Boat (2013) To God Be the Glory (2016) Last Minute Christmas Album (2020) With Transatlantic Main article: Transatlantic (band) § Discography SMPT:e (2000) Bridge Across Forever (2001) The Whirlwind (2009) Kaleidoscope (2014) The Absolute Universe (2021) With Flying Colors Main article: Flying Colors (band) § Discography Flying Colors (2012) Second Nature (2014) Third Degree (2019) With The Neal Morse Band The Grand Experiment (2015) The Similitude of a Dream (2016) The Great Adventure (2019) Innocence & Danger (2021) With Morse, Portnoy & George Cover to Cover (2006) Cover 2 Cover (2012) Cov3r to Cov3r (2020) With D'Virgilio, Morse & Jennings Troika (2022) Sophomore (2023) Live albums ? Live (2007) So Many Roads: Live in Europe (2009) Testimony 2: Live in Los Angeles (2011) Live Momentum (2013) Morsefest 2014: Testimony and One LIVE (2015) Morsefest 2015: ? and Sola Scriptura LIVE (2017) Live at the Downey Theater 2008 (2019) Winter Worship Tour 2012 (2019) Cal Prog 2004 (2019) Testimony Live 2003 (2019) 3 Rivers Prog Festival 2008 (2019) Jesus Christ: The Exorcist - Live at Morsefest 2018 (2020) Life & Times in Milan - June 8th, 2016 (2021) With The Neal Morse Band Alive Again (2016) The Similitude of a Dream: Live in Tilburg 2017 (2018) Morsefest 2017: Testimony of a Dream (2018) The Great AdvenTour: Live in Brno 2019 (2020) Morsefest 2019 (2021) Morsefest 2021 (2022) Morsefest 2020 (2023) An Evening Of Innocence & Danger: Live in Hamburg (2023) With Spock's Beard Official Live Bootleg/The Beard is Out There (1996) Live at the Whisky and NEARfest (1999) Nick 'n Neal live in Europe – Two Separate Gorillas (2000) Don't Try This at Home (2000) Don't Try This @ Home Either (2000) There & Here (2001) Europe '98 (2010) Snow Live (2017) Offenbach 1-Nov-98 (2019) Live at the Astoria - Jun 16, 2001 (2021) With Transatlantic Live in America (2001) Live in Europe (2003) Whirld Tour 2010: Live in London (2010) More Never is Enough: Live @ Manchester & Tilburg 2010 (2011) KaLIVEoscope (2014) The Final Flight: Live At L'Olympia (2023) With Yellow Matter Custard Main article: Yellow Matter Custard § Discography One Night in New York City (2003) One More Night in New York City (2011) With Flying Colors Live in Europe (2013) Second Flight: Live at the Z7 (2015) Third Stage: Live in London (2020) Morsefest 2019 (2021) Compilations and rarities Merry Christmas from the Morse Family (2000) The Transatlantic Demos (2003) Sing It High: A Collection of Singles (2007) One Demos (2007) Neal's Mystery Box (2019) Advent Calendar 2019 (2019) Inner Circle Sampler (2020) Hope and a Future (2020) Testimony Demos (2020) Question Mark Demos (2020) Sola Scriptura Demos (2020) With Spock's Beard From the Vault (1997) The First Twenty Years (2015) The Demos 1995-2000 (2020) With Transatlantic SMPT:e - As Mixed By Roine Stolt 1999 (2003) With The Prog World Orchestra A Proggy Christmas (2012)   Support us on PayPal!

Read along to practice your English and to learn the English phrases ALL THE RAGE and ROAD RAGEIn this English lesson, I wanted to help you learn the English phrase all the rage. When something is all the rage, it means everyone is doing it or everyone is wearing it. In my world, people who are my age, it's all the rage to wear dad shoes. I'll put a picture here of what dad shoes look like, but they're all the rage. But something funny happened because now those shoes are also popular with young people. So it's all the rage to wear New Balance shoes. But it used to be a white pair of New Balance shoes was considered a pair of dad shoes, and they were all the rage for people my age, but now they are for younger people, too. So when something's all the rage, it's very, very popular.If you enjoy these lessons please consider supporting me at: http://www.patreon.com/bobthecanadianAnd then the term road rage. I didn't experience any road rage on my way home from visiting Brent. I was on the highway for about ten or 11 hours. It was quite a long drive and no one got angry with me. Road rage is when you cut someone off or when you do something to make another driver angry. And then that anger that they experience we call road rage. So I myself did not get angry at anyone, nor did anyone get angry at me. So there was no road rage on my trip.So to review when something's all the rage, it means it's very, very popular. And then let me think of something else that's all the rage. I imagine when they invented sunglasses many, many years ago, they were all the rage. I imagine everyone was wearing sunglasses the year they were invented. And then road rage would simply be anger that is taking place while you're driving. Usually someone gets angry with you and you call it road rage.But hey, let's look at a comment from a previous video. This comment is from Tammy. Tammy says you both look like twin brothers. Have a safe trip all the way to Canada. Please take a coffee break if you like. Thank you both for this new video. And my response: I stopped multiple times on the way back. I left really early, but as the day went on, I found I needed breaks more often. I still made good time, though, and was able to return the car rental before 05:00 p.m. that day. So, Tammy, thanks for that comment.And yes, I did take breaks, quite a few breaks. So I started. For those of you that don't know, I was visiting Brent and I left at 05:00 a.m. last week, Friday. And I actually drove for some pretty long stretches. I drove from five till eight without stopping. Then I drove from eight till about noon, 1130 noon. Two really long stretches. But after that I started to get a little bit, not drowsy, but I just got physically tired. Like between you and me, I'll just tell you, my butt was getting sore from sitting in the car for so long.So I started to stop like every hour or even less than every hour. So I think I stopped at every single rest stop in New York. Well, no, I think every other. Okay. And I didn't always buy anything. And usually I just walked. I probably looked kind of funny. I was the guy doing loops at the rest stop. But hey, it's really good to be home. It was nice too, because like I said, I was able to return the rental car and I saved myself $30 by bringing it back the same day I drove home instead of the next morning. So that was kind of nice. And what else was I going to say? I was really tired the next day. It surprised me how simply sitting in a car and really doing nothing can be quite tiring. So last week, let me get this all straight, the days in my head. Last week, Saturday, I didn't do much. I was pretty lazy. I just kind of... I did go for a walk to kind of loosen up my legs again. But yeah, it was a good drive back and ISupport the Show.

Do some days seem like a never-ending emotional rollercoaster living with your strong-willed and/or highly sensitive one? Like no matter what you say or do, they just can't seem to get it together? On days like these, you might be fighting like hell to stay calm on the outside, but inside your heart is racing and your stomach is tied up in knots. And these days seem way longer than a mere 24 hours. By bedtime, no wonder you finally blow a gasket…you're like a human tea kettle and that steam must be released, right?My guest this week can help. Michelle Grosser is a coach, mom, and neuroscience expert. She knows a ton about what stress does to our brains and bodies. She's helped so many moms address their triggers, calm their nervous systems and find the peace they so desperately want in their families and lives.We hit it off instantly. You're going to learn so much about how to manage overwhelm and avoid burnout.Listen as we discuss tangible real-life methods for emotional rollercoaster days with your highly sensitive humans.In this episode, you'll learn:How we make meaning out of our kiddos' behavior (and how to make that meaning into something positive).Why it's so crucial to recognize, honor, and contain our reactive feelings so we don't pass our stress on to our sensitive kids.To start with your own healing and mental health in order to build safety and stability for your family.And much more! As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-296About Randi RubensteinRandi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.She's the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.Randi's Web and Social LinksWebsite: https://mastermindparenting.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparentingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ About Michelle GrosserMichelle is an attorney, pastor, Nervous System Expert, Certified Master Life Coach, and host of The Calm Mom Podcast. Through somatic and neuroscience-based modalities, she coaches women through discovering what's beneath their triggers and emotions, so they can begin their healing journey and find peace in the present. She deeply believes that the most profound thing we can offer our children is our own healing. She and her husband Jeff have two daughters and live in Miami, FL.https://michellegrosser.com/Social: @michellegrosser.coachResources Discussed/LinksPeter Levine's Somatic Experiencing https://traumahealing.org/“All The Rage,” a...

Jim and award-winning actor and writer Martin Moran conclude their discussion into “Baby Reindeer” Martin Moran wrote the OBIE Award winning “The Tricky Part” and “All The Rage” and starred in the Broadway musical “Titanic.”

Jim delves further into “Baby Reindeer” With his good friend, Martin Moran, award-winning Writer, Actor and Advocate. Join them for this enlightening conversation…Martin Moran wrote the OBIE Award winning “The Tricky Part” and “All The Rage” and starred in the Broadway musical “Titanic.”

A L Kennedy is an award-winning author, playwright, comic and performer. Among her acclaimed works is a collection of short stories named after the Elvis Costello song, All The Rage. In this episode, she tells me about her love of Costello's music and his use of language. We also dig deep into Tramp The Dirt Down with a fascinating reflection on Britain in the 1980s and the anger towards Margaret Thatcher which inspired Costello's totemic song. You can visit A L Kennedy's website here. Her song choices are on the Bedroom Alibis playlist.

In this episode, we sit down with Blair Erickson, a seasoned technologist and creative director, whose impressive portfolio includes work in various entertainment fields. From film to television, video games, and interactive virtual worlds, Blair has left his mark on the industry. We dive into his unique experience writing and directing the groundbreaking virtual reality feature film, "Banshee Chapter," now streaming on Netflix. And then there's his game, "All The Rage".Join us as we explore the intersection of technology and creativity with a true pioneer in the field.Learn more about BlairLearn more about All The RageLearn more about Banshee ChapterLearn more about usJoin the next episode of the Indie Game Lunch Hour LIVE every Wednesday at 12pm EST on our Discord channel to answer your own burning questions and be immortalized in the recordings.

**Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On traxfm.org This week on All The Rage we welcome again our Latin America correspondent Dr Francisco Domínguez to discuss recent events in Chile, Peru and Brazil. Plus an update on the continuing drama of the Venezuelan gold. Jon Boud's All The Rage Every Wednesday From 7PM UK Time On traxfm.org #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE :mixcloud.com/live/traxfm Free Trax FM Android App: play.google.com/store/apps/det...mradio.ba.a6bcb The Trax FM Facebook Page : facebook.com/original103.3 Trax FM Live On Hear This: hearthis.at/k8bdngt4/live Tunerr: tunerr.co/radio/Trax-FM Radio Garden: Trax FM Link: http://radio.garden/listen/trax-fm/IEnsCj55 OnLine Radio Box: onlineradiobox.com/uk/trax/?cs...cs=uk.traxRadio Radio Deck: radiodeck.com/radio/5a09e2de87...7e3370db06d44dc Radio.Net: traxfmlondon.radio.net Stream Radio : streema.com/radios/Trax_FM..The_Originals Live Online Radio: liveonlineradio.net/english/tr...ax-fm-103-3.htm**

Growing up, reading was one of my favorite things to do. As an adult I've lost that wonder and excitement for books but I definitely want it back. So this episode is extra special! I got to speak with Emily and Rachel, owners of Golden May Book Coaching. They help fiction writers level up their stories, grow their skills and create a community of like minded people. Both Emily and Rachel bring in their unique backgrounds and skills to become a great team. On the podcast we talk about their background. They have an interesting story of how they met on Twitter and have only met in person a handful of times. We talk alot about mindset and how much we all overthink. If you want to start a business, personal growth is the best thing you can do! So go listen wherever you hear podcasts! Connect with Emily and Rachel!Website: https://goldenmayediting.com/Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/goldenmayedit/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goldenmayedit/Rachel Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bookcoachrachel/Emily Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilygoldenedits/Resources Mentioned in this EpisodeJoyful Marketing: https://www.simonegraceseol.com/joyfulmarketingBook Recommendations Circe,  The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, All The Rage, Iron Widow, The Witch Collector, Caraval Legendary Finale Stories, Spells For Forgetting, The Scorpio Races, A Clash of SteelYou can connect with me as well! Website: https://www.jennextdoorpodcast.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennextdoorpodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennextdoorpodcastFind a coach who will support you in taking your business to the next level! And Just Write! 

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**Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On traxfm.org It's 2023 and as we launch into another year of uncertainty you can be sure of the solidarity coming from us at All The Rage. This week Jon and Dave look back and celebrate the times when the workers have been victorious during 2022; in an emerging new age of trade union action and public support, we could be seeing a major change in working class power (if we fight hard enough for it). Also, we have a little look at the rent control recently announced in Scotland. Links: https://www.bigissue.com/news/housing/what-should-you-do-if-you-receive-an-eviction-notice/ Links: https://www.bigissue.com/news/housing/section-21-notice-what-is-a-no-fault-eviction-why-are-they-being-scrapped/ Jon Boud's All The Rage Every Wednesday From 7PM UK Time On traxfm.org #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE : sbee.link/unk89ahme6 Free Trax FM Android App: sbee.link/63dbq9rnve All the Rage Twitter page: https://twitter.com/ATRTraxFM The Trax FM Facebook Page : sbee.link/qdjh4puwxe Trax FM Live On Hear This: sbee.link/ntqcjk9bf7 Tunerr: sbee.link/gxrnha8cq4 Tune In Radio : sbee.link/6mny8e4cug OnLine Radio Box: sbee.link/e8hy3ngmcb Radio Deck: sbee.link/nga3verky6 sbee.link/g69hyda8qw: sbee.link/6xkhmru89c Stream Radio : sbee.link/bt3pwgmy9a Live Online Radio: sbee.link/gj3wekud8a**

In this special episode of “Don't Take No For An Answer,” host Lynda A. Bennett examines key developments in the insurance world that this podcast has covered in the past year, including volatility in the D&O and cyber markets due to economic and regulatory uncertainty in the U.S. and around the world; the rise and fall of SPACs, and the impact of ESG demands by insurers. We invite you to listen to our past episodes on these key topics including: Trends and Hot Issues in D&O Smoother Sailing or Choppy Waters: What Lies Ahead for the 2022 D&O Market? Insurance Renewals: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Walk Away D&O Insurance: Better to Have it and Not Need it Than Need it and Not Have it The Rise and Fall of SPACs Has the SPAC Bubble Burst?  Lessons Learned from the Early Days of SPAC Mania Has the SPAC Bubble Burst? Part 2: The SEC's New Rules Learning to Love ESG ESG is All The Rage, but How Does It Intersect with the D&O and RWI Insurance Markets? Volatility in the Cyber Markets The Downstream Impact of Ransomware on Cyber Insurance Underwriting – Part 1 The Significance of Operational Technology in Cyber Insurance Underwriting – Part 2 London's Nation-State Attack Exclusion: Game Changer For The Cyber Insurance Market or An Opportunity For Competition Within the Market? Part 2: More about London's Nation-State Attack Exclusion: Game Changer For The Cyber Insurance Market or An Opportunity For Competition Within the Market?         Speaker: Lynda A. Bennett, Partner and Chair, Insurance Recovery

**Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On traxfm.org This week on All The Rage we conclude our interview with nurse Siobhan Aston. We discuss the upcoming strike action around the country and hear a clinician's account of what it was like when COVID-19 hit Britain's healthcare system. Plus, Dave and Jon will discuss various issues relating to the decline of Britain into a cold island (more than just the weather) of starving children, underpaid workers and ideological suicide, just in time for Christmas and the wonderful fightback presently taking place. Link For Homeless (Streetlink): https://www.streetlink.org.uk/ Jon Boud's All The Rage Every Wednesday From 7PM UK Time On traxfm.org #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE : sbee.link/unk89ahme6 Free Trax FM Android App: sbee.link/63dbq9rnve All the Rage Twitter page: https://twitter.com/ATRTraxFM The Trax FM Facebook Page : sbee.link/qdjh4puwxe Trax FM Live On Hear This: sbee.link/ntqcjk9bf7 Tunerr: sbee.link/gxrnha8cq4 Tune In Radio : sbee.link/6mny8e4cug OnLine Radio Box: sbee.link/e8hy3ngmcb Radio Deck: sbee.link/nga3verky6 sbee.link/g69hyda8qw: sbee.link/6xkhmru89c Stream Radio : sbee.link/bt3pwgmy9a Live Online Radio: sbee.link/gj3wekud8a**

**Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On traxfm.org Whatever happened to that inquiry into the Labour party? Is it finished yet? Didn't see anything on the news... All The Rage this week brings you.... the Forde Report, broken down by our very special guest David Rosenberg who returns to give us some insight into it's findings and conclusions Link: https://rebellion602.wordpress.com/2022/07/31/keep-the-focus-on-forde/ East End Walks: http://www.eastendwalks.com/ Blog; https://rebellion602.wordpress.com/2022/07/31/keep-the-focus-on-forde/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/davidjrosenberg Jon Boud's All The Rage Every Wednesday From 7PM UK Time On traxfm.org #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE : sbee.link/unk89ahme6 Free Trax FM Android App: sbee.link/63dbq9rnve All the Rage Twitter page: https://twitter.com/ATRTraxFM The Trax FM Facebook Page : sbee.link/qdjh4puwxe Trax FM Live On Hear This: sbee.link/ntqcjk9bf7 Tunerr: sbee.link/gxrnha8cq4 Tune In Radio : sbee.link/6mny8e4cug OnLine Radio Box: sbee.link/e8hy3ngmcb Radio Deck: sbee.link/nga3verky6 sbee.link/g69hyda8qw: sbee.link/6xkhmru89c Stream Radio : sbee.link/bt3pwgmy9a Live Online Radio: sbee.link/gj3wekud8a**

Michael Galinsky is an American filmmaker, cinematographer, photographer, and musician. He joined me to chat about his documentary "All The Rage" which chronicles the work of Dr. John Sarno. Sarno cured countless people of chronic pain, most commonly backpain and his treatment methods were simple - read a book. Check out previous episodes with Blindboy or Rant #9 for a bit more context! - Please subscribe, leave a rating, and share this podcast. You can support at www.patreon.com/thechatwithdanmurphy

Will and Lucas express confusion over both a classic hobby and an awkward Arthur meme in "Arthur Unravels," before discovering just how ahead of its time the show is, fashion-wise, in "All The Rage." Plus, a heapin' helpin' of emails, a truly strange Easter egg(?), and the long-awaited update on Lucas' luggage!

Today's slow drag is with “All the Rage” from “Brutal Youth,” released in 1994. The songwriting is credited to Elvis Costello's birth name.   Show Notes: ---------------------- Appreciation written, produced, and narrated by Remedy Robinson, MA/MFA Twitter: https://twitter.com/slowdragremedy Email: slowdragwithremedy@gmail.com Podcast music by https://www.fesliyanstudios.com Rate this Podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/slowdrag ---------------------- References:   Elvis Costello Wiki Resource, “All the Rage”: http://www.elviscostello.info/wiki/index.php/All_The_Rage   “All the Rage”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Kf-yeojmjY   “Tenderness”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XegL32Btzs   Purchase “The Most Terrible Time in My Life…Ends Thursday” https://www.amazon.com/Most-Terrible-Time-Life-Thursday-ebook/dp/B07XLXS5PL/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y4SGCT62WPEK&dchild=1&keywords=the+most+terrible+time+in+my+life+ends+thursday&qid=1608873405&sprefix=The+Most+Terrible+Time+in+%2Caps%2C195&sr=8-1       The twitching impulse is to speak your mind I'll lend you my microscope and maybe you will find it Is it in that ugly place that's just behind your face? Where you keep my picture still Despite the fact that you had me replaced   Say "Goodbye" Baby can't you act your age? You know why I'm going to give it to you straight Although I'll never be unhappy as you want me to be Still it's all the rage   I'll probably play along left to my own devices Spare me the drone of your advice The sins of garter and gin confession may delay You know the measuring pole, the merry boots of clay I've heard it all before You'll say it anyway   Chorus   Alone with your tweezers and your handkerchief You murder time and truth, love, laughter and belief So don't try to touch my heart, it's darker than you think And don't try to read my mind because it's full of disappearing ink   Chorus   Although I'll never be unhappy as you want me to be Still it's all the rage

LEE BROCK/SETH LEE: Two highly respected Directors, Producers, Writers, Teachers in the Arts Arena, as well as Co-Artistic Directors and teachers at The Barrow Group, founded in 1986 - a multi-award-winning theater company, which offers professional and emerging artists training in acting, directing, playwriting and screenwriting. Along with being awarded the Drama Desk Award for Off-Off Broadway Excellence, The Barrow Group's notable alumni are: Academy Award Winner-Anne Hathaway; Emmy Award Winner-Tony Hale; and three time Emmy Award Winner-Jennifer Landon. Lee has overseen, developed and produced over 150 projects, some of which Seth has directed, such as: 'Good'-which won the Straw Hat Award; ‘Old Wicked Songs-which won the Los Angeles Drama Critics Circle Award & Garden Award; ‘The Tricky Part'-which won an Obie Award & 2 Drama Desk nominations; ‘All The Rage'- a solo show which won the Lucille Lortel Award & Outer Critics Circle nominations. Lee created FAB (For, About and By Women) a development company dedicated to creating projects for women, serving over 100 artists. Lee who is also a singer, has acted at The Kennedy Center, Manhattan Theater and more, and appeared in ‘Orange is the New Black'; Law & Order-SVU+Criminal Intent. Seth, father of 2 with Lee, who recently served as Master Teacher at the International Director's Symposium in Spoleto, Italy, is the author of the book, ‘An Actor's Companion'-Tools for the Working Actor-A collection of exercises, tips, tools and tricks designed to be used by the actor on the job, and recommended by the film Director, Ron Howard. Along with a long list of awarded works, Seth is noted for his theater direction of Mike Birbiglia's ‘The New One' (Cort Theater) ‘My Girlfriend's Boyfriend'-which won the Lucille Lortel Award, Drama Desk & Outer Critics Circle nominations, with final performance at Carnegie Hall. Seth co-directed ‘Thank God for Jokes' and Mike Birbiglia's ‘My Girlfriend's Boyfriend' for Netflix-which won the Sundance Film Festival BEST OF “NEXT” CATEGORY. He was Co-screenwriter for ‘Sleepwalk With Me and Co-adapted ‘Enemy Of The People'. He has worked with The New York Theater Workshop, The Geffen Playhouse, The Perry Street Theatre to name a few. Also an Acting Coach, Seth has appeared in film and television such as: ‘Billions';'Veep'; 'Blacklist' and more, and moving more deeply into his music, both as performer and arranger/composer. Check out their new performing arts location opening in April at: https://www.barrowgroup.org/ and on instagram: @thebarrowgroup --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ozzie-stewart/support

**Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On traxfm.org This week All The Rage talks about the terrible acts of Russia & The Ukraine. No - it's not the normal "warm & cuddly" propaganda we are seeing in the mainstream media at the moment. Its the truth.... Jon Boud's All The Rage Every Wednesday From 7PM UK Time On traxfm.org #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE : sbee.link/unk89ahme6 Free Trax FM Android App: sbee.link/63dbq9rnve The Trax FM Facebook Page : sbee.link/qdjh4puwxe Trax FM Live On Hear This: sbee.link/ntqcjk9bf7 Tunerr: sbee.link/gxrnha8cq4 Tune In Radio : sbee.link/6mny8e4cug OnLine Radio Box: sbee.link/e8hy3ngmcb Radio Deck: sbee.link/nga3verky6 sbee.link/g69hyda8qw: sbee.link/6xkhmru89c Stream Radio : sbee.link/bt3pwgmy9a Live Online Radio: sbee.link/gj3wekud8a**

All The Rage. Funeral For A Friend guitar legend, emo fringe pionear and dad joke expert, Darran Smith, is our guest on Episode 170 of Sappenin' Podcast! The six-string slinger takes us for a ride through his musical journey, tour burnouts and returning to the spotlight with this new era of FFAF. In this conversation, Darran opens up on the bands reunion, originally leaving in 2010, how it's a much more relaxed atmosphere, dealing with the early day success of their first three albums, his nine years away, why the guitar partnership of himself and Kris Roberts was so complimentary, insane road memories, inspiring a generation of alternative bands, taking My Chemical Romance out as support on their first UK tour, Download Festival 2022, having to deal with stalking fans (aka Sean), crowd reactions, legacy, bucket list goals, regrets, playing with Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden, the future and more! Turn it up and join Sean and Morgan to find out Sappenin' this week!Follow us on Social Media:Twitter: @sappeninpod.Instagram: @sappeninpod.Special thank you to our Sappenin' Podcast Patreons:Join the Sappenin' Podcast Community: Patreon.com/Sappenin.Kylie Wheeler, Janelle Caston, Amandine Urbano, Mitch Perry, Dilly Grimwood, Kelly Irwin, Nathan Crawshaw, Paul Hirschfield, Emma Barber, Kelly Young, Sammy G, Tony Michael, Kat Bessant, Dana Lasnover, Jenni Robinson, Mikey Engler, Louis Cook, Martina McManus, Kevin Clarke, Danny Eaton, Carl Pendlebury, Lydia Henderson, Craig Harris, James McNaught, Jenni Munster, Jason Heredia, Lucy Deards, John & Emma, Emily Perry, Stuart McNaught, Becky Handy, Kelly Cannon, Adam Parslow, Oli Amesbury, Josh Crisp, Alice Wood, Rhys Bowering, Ben Evans, Cate Stevenson, Connor Lewins, Livvy Cropper, Cery Andrews, Jean Davies, Harry Radford, Rhys Bernardo, Let It Flow, Letitia Gunn, Geoff Halbherr, James Bowerbank, Jordan Harris, Chris Hawthorne, Jade Austin, James Page, Jacob Turner, Andrew Keech, Alya Emo, Steph Blackmore, Kate Puttock, Jen Dean, Kristen Fiddes, Sam Nevile, Scott Evans, Sarah Maher, Lucy Neill, Alanagh Gabhann, Amy Thomas, Michael Snowden, Stevie Burke, Justine Baddeley, Luke Wardle, John Wilson, David Winchurch, Beth Downing, Nathan Matheson, Robert Pike, Jessie Hellier, Ash Foster, Hannah Rachel, Jamie O' Jamie, Emily Dixon, Rebecca Harrison, Owen Davies, Scarlet Charlton, Vicki Willis-Dent, Andy Saxton, Matt Roberts, Joshua Ehrensperger-Lewis, Robert Bryne, Anthony Matthews, Chris Harris, Callum Oakshott, Ida Christensen, Dan Cullen, Erin Howard, Jim Farrell, Kyle Smith, Helen Macbeth, Dilly Dally, Jamie Bloor, Tim Whatley, Samantha Bowen, Loz Sánchez, Dmac, Hannah Kenyon, Jaii Humphreys, Emma Musgrave, Sophie Brydon, Katrina Robinson, Tosca Andrea, Beth Gayler, Madeleine Inez, Donna Attrill, Tom Hylands, Sabina Laura, Nick Herring, Chris Goldring, Chris Lincoln, Andy Wastell, Jemma John, Antony Hersey, Lucy Eva, Dan Stevenson, Nuala Clark, Taylor Asbridge, Tom Owen, Mike Sheppard, Lisa Sullivan, Stephanie Lowe, Alexandra Pemblington, Laura Bullock, Joe Ackland, Charley Allison, Chris Goldring, Tristan Gorman and Jacob Hetherington.Diolch and Thank You x See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

**Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On traxfm.org This week All The Rage talks to Carlos Barros of the RMT union. They discuss some recent and upcoming disputes for the union, how best to respond to those who think train drivers get paid 'too much' and the need for working class unity all over the world, including in Jon's beloved London. Jon Boud's All The Rage Every Wednesday From 7PM UK Time On traxfm.org #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE : sbee.link/unk89ahme6 Free Trax FM Android App: sbee.link/63dbq9rnve The Trax FM Facebook Page : sbee.link/qdjh4puwxe Trax FM Live On Hear This: sbee.link/ntqcjk9bf7 Tunerr: sbee.link/gxrnha8cq4 Tune In Radio : sbee.link/6mny8e4cug OnLine Radio Box: sbee.link/e8hy3ngmcb Radio Deck: sbee.link/nga3verky6 sbee.link/g69hyda8qw: sbee.link/6xkhmru89c Stream Radio : sbee.link/bt3pwgmy9a Live Online Radio: sbee.link/gj3wekud8a**

"Stadium dreams on a bedroom budget." LOSER is a rock band from Melbourne, Australia. Their second record, "All The Rage", was one of my favourites of 2021, and it was such a thrill to speak with lead singer Tim and bass player Craig. I adore open and authentic conversation. We could have spoken all day, ha. Thanks for being here. LOSER Listen to All The Rage What was That?  ★ Support this podcast ★

First Draft Episode #333: Karen M. McManus Karen M. McManus is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of young adult thrillers, including the One of Us Is Lying series (now a Peacock TV show), Two Can Keep a Secret, The Cousins, joins to talk about her latest, You'll Be the Death of Me. The presenting sponsor for this episode is Sips By, a multi-brand, personalized monthly tea subscription box. Use offer code "draftsips” for 50% off your first Sips By box! Links to Topics Mentioned In This Episode: Stephen King, author of thrillers like It, The Shining, and Carrie (and, uh, lots more) Agatha Christie, author of And Then There Were None, Murder on the Orient Express, and Death on the Nile. Lois Duncan, author of I Know What You Did Last Summer, Killing Mr. Duncan, and Down a Dark Hall Mary Higgins Clark, author of Where Are the Children?, Two Little Girls in Blue, and You Belong to Me The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins Only Murders in the Building (TV show) Stephanie Perkins, New York Times bestselling author of Anna and the French Kiss and the horror novel There's Someone Inside Your House (watch the Netflix film adaptation Oct. 6!) talks about her newest scary book, The Woods Are Always Watching. Hear her First Draft interview here!

t's Monday, so it's time for our NEW RELEASE MONDAYS podcast series. This edition we're focusing on Doom Metal where we spotlight new and upcoming releases in doom metal/rock, including stoner of course. This episode we look at September and October 2021 releases. We're all doomed! (0:00) "Upon The Altar" GREEN LUNG - Black Harvest https://greenlung.bandcamp.com/album/black-harvest (5:19) "The Black Witch" COWL - Lord Cowl https://cowldoom.bandcamp.com/releases (11:24) "All The Rage" HEX A.D. - Funeral Tango For Gods and Men https://www.hex-ad.com/funeraltangoalbum (14:44) "Resurrection From The Dead " DOZETHRONE - Resurrection From The Dead https://dozethrone.bandcamp.com/ (17:31) "Exiled Angels" LUCIFER'S CHILDREN - Signs of Saturn https://luciferschildren.bandcamp.com/album/signs-of-saturn (23:46) "Riddle of Steel" CACTUS ROJO - Myths of the Elders https://cactusrojo.bandcamp.com/ (27:59) "Black Wool" THE ELECTRIC MUD - Black Wool https://theelectricmudofficial.bandcamp.com/album/black-wool-ep (31:43) "Beyond Perception" WOLVES IN HAZE - Chaos Reigns https://wolvesinhaze.bandcamp.com/album/chaos-reigns (34:17) "King In Yellow" STARSPAWN OF TCHULU - Tales From The Unknown https://starspawnofcthulhu.bandcamp.com/album/tales-from-the-unknown-2

Craig Selak and Tim Maxwell sit down with me to discuss LOSER 'All The Rage', being authentic as an artist, ASMR and dropping two albums during a pandemic. This episode has Tim Maxwell and Craig Selak talk about what their experiences with previous bands (The Bennies, Apart From This and more) offered as guidance for LOSER.Buy a copy of LOSER 'All The Rage' here - https://24hundred.net/collections/domestic-la-la/products/all-the-rage-12-vinyl-clear-with-pink-blue-splatterListen to the audio-only version of the podcast at:Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/creative-detour-podcast/id1335307416Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/4BdoRNAQekMOURzbqgKnWoYouTube - https://youtube.com/mattsimplifiedOr anywhere else you listen to podcasts!Creative Detour is a podcast about creative people and their creative journeys, hosted by music photographer Matt Walter, by Matt, Simplified. 

Stoked to be joined by Craig Selak from the band LOSER this week - as their MONSTROUS 2nd album All The Rage was released this week... so we go deep with Craig about riffs, honesty & everything in between! Plus a bit of hoops! It's a capital G' Great chat, and LOSER are effen awesome. So, you'll love it! PLUS, Jimmy's back properly from surgery, so catching up on the DeAndre Jordan trade and some other NBA offseason guff. Great to be back... and I absolutely loved this chat with Craig... so hope you dig it. And go check out LOSER right HERE. Get RIGHT around it & hope you dig it!

In 2018, a new Melbourne band arrived featuring ex-members of The Smith Street Band, The Bennies and Apart From This. With the self-deprecating name of LOSER, they hit the ground running with their debut single immediately added to triple j.  Signed to Domestic La La, the label of Violent Soho's James Tidswell, a debut album from LOSER at the start of 2020 signalled a busy year ahead. Those plans soon disappeared, and in lockdown for much of the year, singer Tim Maxwell started to experience severe anxiety. With medication and some family help, the band ended up channelling their frustrations into building their own studio and writing a second album.  All The Rage is the result, a consistent rock record that feeds off the riffs of Queens Of The Stone Age, Weezer, Smashing Pumpkins and other seminal ‘90s and early noughties acts. Tim speaks here with Richard Kingsmill about what he went through last year, how he and his brother Will returned to their original family home to build the studio, and how aliens inspired one of the album's best moments.        

Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On www.traxfm.org. **This week All The Rage was at Queer Night Pride when on Friday, 27th August hundreds took to the streets in Hackney, London to protest the rise in violence against the LGBTQIA+ community. There was a 2nd event in Bristol the following evening. We bring you speeches and interviews from this fierce and much needed event #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: http://chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE : https://sbee.link/unk89ahme6 Free Trax FM Android App: https://sbee.link/63dbq9rnve The Trax FM Facebook Page : https://sbee.link/qdjh4puwxe Trax FM Live On Hear This: https://sbee.link/ntqcjk9bf7 Tunerr: https://sbee.link/gxrnha8cq4 Tune In Radio : https://sbee.link/6mny8e4cug OnLine Radio Box: https://sbee.link/e8hy3ngmcb Radio Deck: https://sbee.link/nga3verky6 https://sbee.link/g69hyda8qw: https://sbee.link/6xkhmru89c Stream Radio : https://sbee.link/bt3pwgmy9a Live Online Radio: https://sbee.link/gj3wekud8a**

It was ALL THE RAGE to discuss on Sports... and of course WE DID Discuss it!!  We had knowledgeable guests Browns' Jakob... Positive Philly... and NY Sports Teen.  And A PHONE CALL from our Wench Angria Trask while Wench Kevlar Prom Dress joined in studio!!I'm ROAD TRIPPIN' this week with my bud Don Webb in the state of O H...... I O..... as they say at some 'local University' whose name escapes me.... LOL.  OK Don... for you... GO BUCKS... as in BUCKEYES.... NOT those FAKE PIRATES in Tampa (Spelled Differently)It's THE CAPTAIN AND WENCHES SHOW... Tune in!! We'll be back NEXT TUESDAY NIGHT on the DOX ENT Channel for the "Chronicles of the Black Hole" Show on Legendary (and now HALL OF FAME) Coach Tom Flores! And then NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT for my Regular "You Don't Know JACK About Sports" Show... Off to the game in Ohio this Thursday and the HOF Induction Ceremonies this Sunday... but COME BACK NEXT WEEK!!

RAINBOW COUNTRYA 2 HOUR Nationally Syndicated Gay radio show & #1 LGBT Podcast working to give voice to the LGBT Community & BEYOND! ON EPISODE 261:Award Winning Playwright & AuthorBrad Fraser is my guest to talk about his NEW memoir ALL THE RAGE. His YouTube movie seriesOLD MOVIES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE. As well as Disappearing The Queer +Rainbow Country ContributorActivist/Historian/AuthorTim McCaskell gives us theORIGINS of the worlds longest runningGay bookstore Glad Day BookshopFor the FULL 2 hour episodes of Rainbow Country:Mark Tara Archiveshttp://marktara.com/RCarchives.html

**Jon Boud's & The All The Rage Replay On www.traxfm.org. This week on All The Rage we welcome back our Latin American correspondent Professor Fransico Dominguez He updates us on the the COVID-19 vaccine sutuation across the region, elections in Peru and plus what is happening in Venezuela and Brazil #traxfm #chat #alternative #media #politics #JonBoud #AllTheRage Listen Live Here Via The Trax FM Player: http://chat.traxfm.org/player/index.html Mixcloud LIVE : https://sbee.link/unk89ahme6 Free Trax FM Android App: https://sbee.link/63dbq9rnve The Trax FM Facebook Page : https://sbee.link/qdjh4puwxe Trax FM Live On Hear This: https://sbee.link/ntqcjk9bf7 Tunerr: https://sbee.link/gxrnha8cq4 Tune In Radio : https://sbee.link/6mny8e4cug OnLine Radio Box: https://sbee.link/e8hy3ngmcb Radio Deck: https://sbee.link/nga3verky6 https://sbee.link/g69hyda8qw: https://sbee.link/6xkhmru89c Stream Radio : https://sbee.link/bt3pwgmy9a Live Online Radio: https://sbee.link/gj3wekud8a**

To end off the month of June, we're talking about PRIDE with Brad Fraser. As one of Canada's best known playwrights, Brad has had an incredible career and is widely known as an international sensation. He has also written extensively for magazines and newspapers, including The Globe and Mail and the National Post, and for three seasons was a writer and producer on Showtime's Queer As Folk. With June being Pride month, STYLE Canada is proud  to celebrate people who have contributed to the social shift. Though we aren't exactly where we need to be yet, we are proud allies of our LGBTQ+ folks and recognize that we can continue to be more inclusive and understanding of their past, present and future struggles.Elise sat down with Brad to discuss his upbringing, coming out and how it shaped his life and career. They also speak about the history of pride and how the AIDS pandemic has created a ripple effect that the LGBTQ+ community continues to feel today, in both positive and negative ways. Grab a copy of Brad's brand new book, All The Rage.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Candy gives new memoir ALL THE RAGE by Canadian playwright, screen writer and cultural commentator Brad Fraser huge props. Eugene misses MARE OF EASTTOWN so watches the brilliant actor Jean Smart in a new show HACKS. The agents interview an expert on truth, logic and conspiracy theories,  blogger S.M. Elliott. You can find her research and articles here: https://swallowingthecamel.me   Please email us and tell us what you think of our podcast, our topics...or suggest topics for us to discuss, books to read, movies to watch. Thank you for listening!   Email us here: theagency.podcast@gmail.com   Thank you to Freesound and Victor Natas for evil choir sounds.

Steve Cooper talks with musician Dave Wakeling. Dave is best known for being the front man for The English Beat and General Public. The English Beat released three studio albums in the early 1980s: I Just Can't Stop it, Wha'ppen? and Special Beat Service. They had a string of singles, including Mirror in the Bathroom, Save It for Later, I Confess, Too Nice to Talk To, Can't Get Used to Losing You, Hands Off...She's Mine and All Out to Get You. Dave then started General Public. Their first album, All The Rage, met with phenomenal success, charting high in the U.S., U.K. and even winning the band a coveted Juno award in Canada for Best New Artist in 1984.

Uber Lyft Drivers & Gig Economy Workers Weekly News:     This week I have Jimmy Thompson on the podcast to discuss ALL THE RAGE that is, upfront "Tip Transparency" for gig workers using the DoorDash app (a.k.a. Dashers). Jimmy is part of Team Para that has brought the app to every for free!   Now everything is done through the app, no more texting required.   Join us to talk all things PARA & even our first take, alien version. Next week: Gig Worker Collective's Willy Solis to finish our discussion on 'The PROAct'. Following week: Harry Campbell (TheRideshareGuy.com) and I will discuss 'The Future Of Rideshare'. Rideshare Rodeo Podcast is presented by UberLyftDrivers.com

Bronnie sits down with Boots & Sammy from WSTR! Talking all sorts from their latest single 'All The Rage', their biggest milestones, playing Music games, talking about embarrassing tour stories etc! Find out their song of the week and watch them play 'Would You Rather' and '2 Truths 1 Lie'!. You can listen to WSTR's new single ALL THE RAGE here! https://open.spotify.com/track/7f0CUGpUxA3nXXyKN1oBeT?si=L-60N3n0QOW2xIdoCsRcGw Stream THE BRONNIE SHOW ARCHIVES playlist here! Watch the interview on YouTube! Twitter - (Main - @BronnieMusic) (Radio - TheBronnieShow) Instagram - (Main - @BronnieMusic) (Radio - The BronnieShow) Website - BronnieMusic.com *Music during the talking section (Bronnie - Dream or Nightmare is copyrighted by Bronnie and it is her own music)* *The Bronnie Show is aired after it goes live!*

Episode 162…Taking you back to 1/22/2013 – Harry Soo from Slap Yo Daddy BBQ was my guest back then and we talked in-dept about cooking chicken and the internal temperatures.  Back then, Harry brought up that he was cooking chicken to an internal temperature that was much less than the FDA was recommending.  It was ALL THE RAGE back then and this is a good way to get reacquainted with this topic...it was great fun back then and still holds it fun 8 years later! Also, let me remind you, if there is a segment or a guest that you have a special feeling towards, email Jon a request and he will do his best to meet your expectation!  MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST!! Don't forget to RATE AND REVIEW THE SHOW ON YOU PODCAST APP!!! Want to hear more from this episode??? Click the link below to hear the full show Original Air Date: 1/22/2013  Original Full Show Link:  CLICK HERE This episode is brought to you by The butcher Shoppe…Home of the NEVER crossbred 100% Australian Wylarah 9+ Wagyu brisket, wagyu beef (American and Japanese), dry aged steaks, wild game and MUCH more!!  Call to order today: (850) 458-8782 and ask for Kevin!  Mention The BBQ Central Show for 10% off your entire order!!

Do you want a better morning routine? Do you need one? Today, we dive into those elaborate morning routines that are ALL THE RAGE right now. Early alarms. Cold showers. Meditation. Journaling. Hot water with lemon. If you've been wondering how to set up a morning routine that succeeds, or curious whether routines like these right for you and your lifestyle, you're 100% in the right place! After this episode, you'll feel empowered to choose the morning routine that works *for you*. Follow: Katie Gray, @katiegrayofficial The Goods: Atomic Habits by James Clear --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/startgrowpivot/support

(November 19, 2019 - Hour Two) In the 2nd hour, I will be joined by Weber Grills pitmaster, Kevin Kolman. Are you aware that pellet cookers are ALL THE RAGE right now? If you are a fan of this show then you are fully aware. Monday and today, Weber has been doing an official launch of their "SmokeFire" pellet cooker at the corporate office in Illinois with a good handful of social media influencers. Of course the initial response has been positive but how did this cooker come to market and why has it taken this long for Weber to enter into this segment? We will also learn what separates the SmokeFire from the rest of the pellet cookers on the market. We will also cover sizes available, price points and availability! BBQ Central Show Sponsors! The BBQ Guru Big Poppa Smokers Smithfield

(November 19, 2019 – Hour Two) In the 2nd hour, I will be joined by Weber Grills pitmaster, Kevin Kolman. Are you aware that pellet cookers are ALL THE RAGE right now? If you are a fan of this show then you are fully aware.…

This week we talk to Michael Galinsky about the role of emotions in physical pain  Michael Galinsky is an American filmmaker, cinematographer, photographer, and musician who has produced and directed a number of documentaries, including Battle from Brooklyn and Who Took Johnny. He also runs a production and distribution company called Rumur. He is currently running a Kickstarter campaign to fund his new film, All The Rage which is based on the pioneering work of Dr John Sarno. Dr Sarno is a leading figure in understanding the role of emotions in physical pain.  In This Interview Michael and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable. The history of Dr John Sarno. How being a "goodist" can create strong repression and anger. How repressed emotions can cause physical pain. His family history with Dr. Sarno. His personal battles with pain. How Howard Stern, Larry David and John Stossel are fans of Dr. Sarno. How pain is a normal problem but chronic pain is a failure of the body to heal itself. The challenges in healing the emotional issues that can cause physical pain. The role of fear in causing physical complaints. Meditation practice as a way to manage challenging emotions. How pain can be a barometer of how we are doing emotionally. Knowing is not the same as doing. The difference between acceptance and repression. Michael Galinsky Links Michael Galinsky Twitter Michael Galinksy/ Rumur Home page All the Rage Kickstarter campaign Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy: Kino MacGregor Strand of Oaks Mike Scott of the Waterboys Todd Henry- author of Die Empty Randy Scott Hyde See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.