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Thanks to my wife Meg, I got to connect with another spiritual badass Lindsey E Garner, creator of Standing in Front of Strangers Naked Tune in to find out how you too can find practical ways to bring spirituality into everything you do! Transcript below is machine generated Unknown Speaker 0:00 Yeah, Brandon Handley 0:01 all right. Bye 4321 Hey there spiritual dope. I'm on today with a special friend Lindsey. she say she was saved Lindsay Unknown Speaker 0:13 he car? Yeah. Brandon Handley 0:15 Because I said, it is very important. It's very important so that people can pull you out of the crowds of Lindsey Gardner. Right. And so Lindsay is actually, you know, pretty good friend of mags for those of you that know me, you know, then you probably know, Megan's a good chance you already know, Lindsay. And then, um, you know, so let's talk about Lindsay and her standing naked in front of strangers blog. I'm just gonna do I'm gonna read Liz gonna read your about me here off of your, your blog posts, and then you can make a decision whether or not you want to keep that going forward. Okay. My entire life, I felt like an outsider feeling like I saw things a little different than most of the people around me. A few years ago, I started to be okay with that, I started to strip off the layers that I've been carrying around for the decades and show up a whole lot more authentically, I started writing to free up some space in my brain for forward movement. First out, people liked what I had to say. So I kept reading. I don't feel super tied to labels of mom, wife, soldier, Yogi, although these are all titles I've hold held. But I'm so much more connected to the idea that each of us is on a little trip to figure out our own purpose. And this is a part of mine. And I hope you'll join me so thanks for being on. And thanks for your thanks for agreeing to be on is this how many podcasts Have you been on? Lindsey Garner 1:38 Zero? Now one? Brandon Handley 1:40 Oh, this is this is this is your first Well, you're welcome. Like I told you, before we got on, you know, it's it's a it's cool to get all in because a you've learned it, you don't go up in flames. Right? Like and you can do it like there's nothing to it. Other than just kind of showing up and being yourself. So welcome. Lindsey Garner 2:00 Thanks. That's my favorite thing to do. So, you know, why not? Brandon Handley 2:04 For the you've listened to a couple of podcasts. And thanks for thanks for being a listener. So you probably know how I open these up right with the idea that that we are word vessels for source. God, whatever, whatever you feel like calling it and you're on today, because you have a message that is going to reach somebody is yours that can only be delivered through you. Right? What is that message today? Lindsey Garner 2:34 I actually did like a little meditation before we started just to transition from one part of my life into this. And I think what I kept kind of landing on is like, yeah, I'm not I'm not some, like giant published author had a little piece of like imposter syndrome as far as like, I don't know, what do I have to say? Right? Um, but it kept then it was like, okay, maybe I say one thing, that one person out there takes and is like, yeah, I'm not alone. I'm not feeling these thoughts or, or living in a space that I am totally on my own. And, and so that's, that's how I'm coming into this. And I think there's something to be said, for living that way. Like maybe you smile at someone, you take a second and you smile at someone, you just don't know the impact that that has in their day. So the more that we just live in a way that really feels like we're honoring ourselves, the ripples are pretty big. Brandon Handley 3:41 Nice, I mean, just kind of just owning who you are. And I hate to say just right, so owning who you are, and that that's actually very powerful. So owning who you are, and owning that you have the power to change someone's life with your smile. Lindsey Garner 3:57 Yeah, you do. Like it's crazy. You really can I, I work, I manage a retail store that's like my full time gig a lot. And I've learned, I never thought it would be in retail and I actually quite like it. But I've learned so much the impact that you can have just on on, like, allowing space for someone to actually show up and not being tanned and like how are you doing today? And then them just saying great. Oh, okay, great. Like it's this script we run through, you know, but rather actually like stopping and saying, No, like, actually, how are you doing today? And it's okay to not be okay. And you can say that even to somebody selling a yoga pants like it's fine. And the cool things that have opened up for me through that. I mean, I can't count them. It's phenomenal. Unknown Speaker 4:51 What's one Lindsey Garner 4:55 I think it's the relinquishment of ego. Yeah, I mean, you never get rid of it right? It's always there. Well, yeah. Brandon Handley 5:03 How's that? So yeah, I mean, how's that showing up for you? Right? Like, really question of ego through your work at retail. I mean, I guess I would take a step further though, because not everybody that works in retail is able to let go of the script. Right. Not everybody that works in retails okay with relinquishing ego. And I can tell you, I mean, even in years past is working like as a bartender, or, you know, being that customer facing person. And somebody is being an asshole. Like, I am really hesitant to relinquish ego, I'm like, No, you're being an asshole. Right? You know, so. So walk me through your process of that was clearly before my ascension. Unknown Speaker 5:55 I'm basically transcended as well. Right? I Brandon Handley 5:58 mean, that'll never ever happen again in my life. But the deal is new. So how are you? How are you doing that? Because I think that's, that's really the impact of this podcast, right? The impact of this podcast is, yeah, your spiritual. But how are you applying it in your daily life? So that, you know, you're not? You're not? I'm physical Lindsey over here. And I'm metaphysical Lindsay over here and understanding like, and together like, you know, you meet in the middle somewhere. So that's how you meet yourself in the middle. Lindsey Garner 6:32 Yeah, I think, um, I mean, meditation, meditation is like, changed my whole life. And I can't pinpoint it to like one style, or one time that I practice, it really is more of an evolving thing. And I can talk more about that. But what it gives me Is this like ability to put a little bubble around myself, right and like, hold in and recognize what's my emotions? My thoughts my feelings? versus like, what's Karen from Kansas that comes in my store is pissy we don't have a size four pair of shorts, like that's actually has nothing Brandon Handley 7:14 Kansas should know. First of all. Oh, no. So so it's funny, though. So you mentioned though, the, the idea of no one set meditation I To me, it would be almost like, Oh, no, your, your, your favorite herbal tea that day? Right. Like, there's all kinds of like, one day, you're like, I need I need to calm down. Okay, Karen, meditation, right. And sometimes I need sometimes I need hyped up, you know, Lindsey, sometimes I need, you know, whatever. But it gives sounds like what you're saying those that gives you the opportunity to go in and create that energetic bubble, right, what you want, who do you want to be in these next few moments? Right, that you get to create that? Is that what you're saying? Lindsey Garner 8:03 Answer remember, that, that? We don't have any idea what that other person's life looks like? Like, I don't I have no idea. 99% of the time, I'm gonna guess it has nothing to do with those shorts. Doesn't it has to do with a lot more, some deep seated stuff, right? And whereas I used to take that on and and, and I mean, I would take these people's shit home with me. I'm like, What am I doing? Like, why do I care so deeply about someone's reaction to foster requiring masks in our store or something like that? I am in Florida. So I mean, you know, the week you are out here, it's like thing, but um, well. Brandon Handley 8:50 How did you, you know, talk to what's the process of going from, you know, taking that home every day to learning to let that go. And did that happen overnight? Or did it take you some time? Lindsey Garner 9:03 No, probably years. Ah, I actually started to because I worked for a company and sells yoga pants. We have a lot of yoga. We do a lot of yoga. It's how we used to like really market our business. And so I got back it up. I got out of the army. I was in the army for about 12 years. Yeah, the army there was no no real like, like industry down where we moved. My husband got stationed in Florida. This is not where we've chosen it came down here. There's no industry that was related to my background. So I'm like, I tried to stay home. I'm not a stay at home mom. Like I just, I was making my own seasalt I yeah, my husband come home and was like, Hi. Unknown Speaker 9:46 Hey, Unknown Speaker 9:47 it's me. It's not to me. Brandon Handley 9:52 I mean, I would like to know how you made your seesaw. Lindsey Garner 9:58 The Golf Got it. I No kidding. Yeah, that's serious. Unknown Speaker 10:05 You can buy it's pretty cheap. There's no fun in that. Brandon Handley 10:08 I'm sure there's no fun. There's no fun in that, right? You can buy all kinds of things. But you're over here you'd like a teaspoon of salt. You're like, Lindsey Garner 10:16 six hours. So great. Everybody gets a little grain Unknown Speaker 10:22 sparingly. Brandon Handley 10:23 Why are you using all the salt? Lindsey Garner 10:27 I'm serious. Okay, Unknown Speaker 10:28 I get it. I get it. I get it. No, Lindsey Garner 10:30 I just got a part time job at this store. And it turns out I really liked it. The company was really cool. And it got me into yoga. I'd never done yoga. I had never been around it. I always thought it was like this, like, woo Wee thing. Yeah, so I started that and it was mostly a physical practice it and little by little I kind of came to understand. I'm a reader. I'm a learner, I am always I am probably always have like five books by my nightstand and like three audio books and two podcasts going all the time. And I just started reading a little bit more on where yoga really came from, and the true intent of yoga and little by little kind of got out of my physical practice of actual like Asana, moving my body through it, and much more connected to the meditation aspect and the the grounding principles of yoga and the eight limbs. And so I, from there just kind of started learning, all kinds of things about meditation. And we are really fortunate in our area. prudence burns here, because she has that veto song Dear Prudence, to doubt her. So that's her, she lives here. Brandon Handley 11:52 I don't know. I don't know that I recall the song Come and get a cup of water. Lindsey Garner 11:55 When it's actually about when the Beatles were at a yoga retreat in India. And there was a woman who sat in a room and meditated for hours and hours, and they were like, come out, prudence come out. That's her. And she's actually one of the leading teachers and she is a Sanskrit translator, translator, interpreter. I Brandon Handley 12:19 don't know. She can she can do. She can do Sanskrit. Lindsey Garner 12:22 Yeah. So she's here. And I met her and she shared about Transcendental Meditation with me. So I went through that training. And that was really my first go at meditation. I really had never done anything. Do you know Brandon Handley 12:36 how much I've watched? Yeah, a little bit. So how is TM different than some other meditation forms of meditation? Lindsey Garner 12:44 mantra base to so you're assigned a mantra, go through the training or sign a mantra, and then it's 20 minutes twice a day. It's pretty structured. pretty strict. It's very structured. And the guidance is like, that's what you do. And there's a lot of rules around it worked for me to start, but I'm kind of I'm kind of like an inner inner what, what are, Brandon Handley 13:06 what are some of those rules? Right, and what was your mantra? Um, Lindsey Garner 13:10 so everybody has their unique point and I'm super suspicious, so are like super superstitious. And so I am not going to tell you my, my own journey because I am worried. Brandon Handley 13:21 Are you not allowed to? Park you down is like a nonconformist. Lindsey Garner 13:34 Yeah, thank you, um, but it's like, okay, you meditate 20 minutes twice a day, you don't want to do it a certain amount of time before bed. You don't want to ever do it like laying down unless you're sick. There's just a lot of it, where I'm like, it just became inaccessible to me. And it became hard for me to consistently practice it. And took some really great things from it. And then from there, just kind of started reading about mindfulness. And then know that a lot of guided meditations are so accessible now. I mean, you can pull up the meditation app, and there's like, 40 to open them up. And in that for those 42 apps. There's 1000s. So just started playing around with that. And then I went to I just finished a training but my husband was sick. You know about that. My husband got really sick last year. And throughout the course of that had a lot of really specific. Like, really like a lot of trauma. I hate that word. And I don't know why I hate that word. But I do a lot of really specific traumas that happened. I saw him Unknown Speaker 14:50 do it throughout that through that throughout that ordeal. Lindsey Garner 14:52 Yeah, he almost died a couple times. It was pretty hard and I lost my ability to drop into meditation really quickly. And it got so frustrating to me where I was like, this is a tool that I have that I need more than ever, and I can't get into it and didn't know why. And I reached out to a friend and she was like, hey, I've actually been doing some studying on trauma based meditation and how like, in times where you are really hyper focused on these events that have created this stir up in your brain, meditation can actually be really damaging if you're not, you know, guided or led in the right way, or you're not aware of that trauma. And so I started reading a little bit about that, and and then I just actually went to a training on feta healing, which was awesome, super awesome. But Brandon Handley 15:49 you owe me like, more links or something on that. And here's the you know, what's funny, those right, you know, army 12 years, getting involved with yoga, and then be like, Oh, this is all Whoo, to being. I just finished my data healing. And I'd like to know, I'd also like to know more about the trauma, meditation. Um, because you're right. When you when you this happened to me, mine was in no way shape, or form, you know, as severe as, you know, kind of what you were going through. But I was going through a space. Unknown Speaker 16:27 And I couldn't I Brandon Handley 16:30 couldn't I couldn't get out of it. Right. Yeah. And I know all this stuff. And I'm really, really good at it, right. But there was something just and it wasn't even big, but it was just enough. Where I was so focused on it, and I couldn't I couldn't get the fuck out of my own way. Lindsey Garner 16:46 Yeah, it turns out that's like, why happens? You just you get, all you do when you get quiet for meditation is you just replay that? Unknown Speaker 16:56 Like, oh, Lindsey Garner 16:58 what am I doing over here? You know, and I don't know a whole lot about it. But I have just kind of started digging in and reading some books and learning about it. But even just Unknown Speaker 17:11 just like Lindsey Garner 17:12 somebody else, again, like somebody else saying, like, hey, it's okay. Like, dude, forgive yourself. Brandon Handley 17:20 Yeah. Yeah, no, it's 100% 100% when somebody else can share the human condition. And lets you know that you're not alone. And that, I think that that's something that you do with your, your blog, right? You did two things with your blog that that come to my mind. If you don't mind, like me shower, like kind of some some quick thoughts on that. Right. Um, one is, I'm a Bob Proctor fan. The dude the dude, like, wise, and you know, I don't know if there's some sales gimmicks, and I'm afraid to give them money, but like everything he says, is legit. And, and one of his one of the things that he recommends, or he talks about something that he practices is, whenever he's got a problem, or whenever he's going through something, he writes it down on it, he gets it out of his head, and on a piece of paper, out of his head and onto a piece of paper. And then he'll go through it, he'll read it. And I'll ask themselves, did I get it all out? Right? I think it's, I think it's a kind of a Karthik thing, where, and at the same time, you can look at it, it's like talking to somebody almost right. And you and I can talk about the you know, any problems that we're having. And sometimes when it comes out of your mouth, you like, was not as big as I thought that it was, like that was a pretty big inside my head, it was huge. But once it got out here to this face, I was able to kind of see it in a different light in a different way. So I think that that's one thing that you do with your blog, right? Sounds like it kind of started from a space where you needed to get the shit out of your head. Lindsey Garner 18:53 Yeah, I was reading it if I was real. Brandon Handley 18:57 And so you're getting readers, and people do like it. And I think that they like it because you're just being honest, sincere and letting them know and I'm not even trying to lead by example or anything again, just sharing who you are and what you're going through in, in a non sugar coated kind of way. And yeah, people get to see that Lindsey Garner 19:21 really hate that sugar coating thing that hate it, I think. Yeah, I don't know. I really, it's like my pet peeve when you know, somebody ain't okay. And they're like, not, everything's great. Or like, this is why I'm posting on social media is what I'm sharing with the world. And then Meanwhile, it's like a dumpster fire and you're like, maybe if you just share the dumpster fire a little bit. You can have somebody be like, Oh my god, I'm actually in this dumpster too. And I know the way out. It's Brandon Handley 19:52 right over here. Yeah, no, that's Yeah, that's fair. But let's let's let's play it in reverse because I also know that you're you're A big fan of some manifestation and a little bit of LA. Right. So then what happened? You know, how does that work in that space for you? Right? So if I focus on my problem, and I talk more about it, am I attracting more of it? Or am I learning at all? I mean, you know, I mean, Lindsey Garner 20:17 yeah, I think about that damn, Esther Hicks Get out of my head. You don't know me? I do. Think about it. Do you think a lot of it comes from the intention in it? Right? I don't sit in my shed, I write it. And that is that is that catharsis of like, okay, I read it, I give it out. I read it. And then it's done. I'm not coming back. I'm not not saying it. And I think that's part of it. And this is like, for every human being out there. There's something for them to do that allows them to do that. For me. It's writing, right? You know, for some people it might be running, I don't know, gross, but to each their own. I can't imagine feeling better. Mentally. After a long run. I've usually I'm like, oh my god. Everything hurts. But Brandon Handley 21:07 yeah, me. Lindsey Garner 21:09 Cooking, like cooking can be therapeutic for people you could have great, Brandon Handley 21:13 yeah. So for me, it took me a while to kind of get around to it and understand it. But when I'm cooking in the kitchen, I'm creating something. That's an act of creation. And Unknown Speaker 21:27 it feels wonderful, Unknown Speaker 21:28 right? And you're serious, Brandon Handley 21:30 right? You get to share and then and then if somebody doesn't need it, or if they use too much seesaw, I get pissed, but Lindsey Garner 21:36 you made your own. Brandon Handley 21:38 But but the deal is it's like and you start to let go of that too. Right? You must see your you know, somebody who's getting pissed because you know, size for shorts aren't down. It's it's like you're not doing it, you're just getting over the reaction to what you've done or created. Right? Whereas the process, you know, Meg and I had this conversation not too long ago, she's like, I hate the process. I was like, well, the process is pretty cool. You just haven't kind of experienced it yet. Right? You haven't experienced like this, this this thing where you morphed through the process? Yeah. Right. And then like, because there's really nothing else you can say to it, other than it's the process of creation process. So yeah, and when you go through creating something with purpose, and 10, and love, then doesn't really matter what the outcome is, unless it's murder. And then there's then we got to talk, but I can't you know, Lindsey Garner 22:35 love course, maybe I don't know. I feel like she's watched a documentary about some shows Brandon Handley 22:40 you seen one or two on them? For sure. For sure. So let's me let's talk about what's your process. Ben. Right, let's talk about if you were to, if you were to guide somebody through it right now. And I see on your site, just as talk to me, like what somebody can reach out to you for? And you know, what would you guide through somebody through in a process oriented way? Lindsey Garner 23:02 I'm trying to think I think the last person, or probably the by get the most feedback about is anytime that I talk about my relationship with my body. I don't want to make a sweeping statement like this is something that women experience differently than men because I think men experience the same sort of, like discomfort in their own skin, or pressures from society or whatever. But this has been a big journey of mine. And I yeah, I mean, growing up. My mom is something special. She did her best. I believe that we don't have a great relationship now. And a lot of that comes from me becoming a parent. And seeing Oh, wait, woof. That was maybe not an okay thing. I remember she told me I was maybe 30. I mean, I had done some shit in my life. And she said, the proudest I've ever been, is when you decided to lose weight when you were a teenager. And I'm like, wow, like, I want to combat had a kid I graduated degrees and have a successful career. And I was like, Whoa, there it is. So it's just something that was ever present in my life. And that constant need to look a certain way to show up a certain way for everyone else, because I thought that's what was needed to be and so I get a lot of women after I write about that, specifically, that will reach out and say like, okay, like, What do I do? Like, how did you get there? How did you get to the point where it's not that I don't care? I mean, I definitely care what I look like, but I don't attach so much meaning and expectation to it anymore. I Who was it? It was on your podcast, and they call it a meat suit. Who was that? Brandon Handley 24:57 That was this funny Christian. It was Yeah, he's He's really good. Lindsey Garner 25:04 I really do like, as I've learned to meditate, and as I've learned to get a connection with the divine through meditation, I realized like, this is not it. Brandon Handley 25:14 This is funny. I would, I would love to say that this is a smaller part of who we are. Unknown Speaker 25:24 Yeah, Brandon Handley 25:24 that's right. Yeah. Like, I mean, like, I mean, if we infant festival, right, especially if we consider ourselves, I don't know, in connection to the universe, right? Or as the universe, depending on how you kind of want to want to go about it. You know, yeah, Krishna said that, you know, other people that have said that plenty of times as neville goddard talks about being in the meatsuit Alan Watts will talk about being meatsuit. It's not. He says, It is funny, but it's, it's true. Right? These are just, this is just something that we're wearing right now. Right? Yeah. So Lindsey Garner 26:00 beautiful. Like what is attractive to, like other people like what is attracted to me a guy that I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I'm super attracted that guy. Another person is like, what? Right? So subjective, that I think like, it comes from meditation. And I always comes back to that that like, because I started there. And then I realized, Oh, wait, actually, I'm this ball of light. And I'm connected to the divine all the time. And like, I don't want to talk shit about the divine right? Why am I talking shit about myself? Unknown Speaker 26:35 all the time? Yeah. Lindsey Garner 26:37 And then I just became like, I didn't want to have small talk anymore. And I noticed this, so many women around me, the majority of the conversations were grounded around what their kids were doing with their husbands are doing in their bodies. Brandon Handley 26:52 Would you say that? That's just because they're, they're afraid of who they really are? Yeah. How would you help somebody get through that? Lindsey Garner 27:03 Yeah. I, um, Brandon Handley 27:08 I mean, like, right, right. Like, I mean, so it will even flip back to you. So you think that you're divine? Right. And you're connected to the divine? Yes, you so somebody else said they are divine, and they're connected to the divine, and they still have some larger conversations. Lindsey Garner 27:24 Well, I have them unabashedly. And what I have noticed is that when I have them, that is uncomfortable at first. And then it becomes an okay thing. I mean, I do this and I do this. At my store, I have about 30 people that work for me and they love hate me. Because I make these conversations a thing. Like if I come into the break room, and we're talking about trying to lose weight, so our size look less fat, I like awkwardly change the topic to What are you reading? What's a book you're reading? Let's talk about it? Or do you want to hear about what I manifested last year, like I unabashedly just, I just think we're playing small, and I will call people out on it. And I think sometimes it's just that destruction that's needed. And then it's like, again, it's like a ripple effect. I do it. And I see other people do it, little by little, and that's, like, greatest success of my whole life is when I come in, and we're talking about big things. Brandon Handley 28:24 That's great, right? Because then you can see that you're having some influence, right? Or, you know, you're manifesting that right? for yourself, right? Like, like, you know, so you're able to kind of see this future state where you walk into an office and a break room, and everybody's talking about cool shit instead of chubby thighs. Right? I mean, you know, just to kind of lay it out there like that. So, it's what makes it so easy for you to, to, to, you know, feel like you're living this kind of greater life and to be able to look at somebody else and say that, hey, you could be living a greater life or, you know, stop playing small. Right? And I bring that up, because I recall being It was a few years ago, I was in a dad, dad bloggers convention, because that was my space at the time. But I was asking these guys is like, you know, what's the feel like for you to step into your greatness and I meant it, right? Like, yeah, and they shied away from accepting anything that looked like greatness and kind of hurt my heart. Yeah, it's like, Wow, man, like you're a great person, and like, you're doing something awesome. But you don't even see it for yourself. Right. So how do you how do you know how do you step into your greatness and how you help and other stuff There's Lindsey Garner 30:02 number one like expectations, you gotta let them ships go, which I say is like, it's so easy. I would say this, like, I basically have mastered this. No, I totally not that just so you know. But I have learned so much around really pushing expectations, not not just at work in my life in my marriage, like, so much. Just because I want an outcome from someone or I see something in someone, I don't have an ability to impact their path. I don't touch it, and on my you know, like a marble, your marble hits, and then it goes another direction or pool ball or whatever. But who am I to know what their journey looks like? And how many awesome things could come from them effing things up. And I mean, that's part of it. You know, my last year of my life has been really, truly transformative. My husband and I have been through a shit ton. And I have watched him really come into his own. And he was on the phone. He had surgery yesterday, he had one more heart surgery yesterday. And he couldn't be on our marriage. Can we have marriage counseling every week? It's like, we don't miss it. Even if we feel really good. We're like, Nope, still doing it. And I was sitting in my marriage counseling, and my counselor and I were talking and I was saying how, how hard it is to be a caregiver for someone for this long. And I was like, man, there's things about my husband, that I really miss, you know, from a year ago, like, physically that he could do, or just like experiences we could have when he is truly healthy. And he was like, but what's come of it. And I thought I thought about it, I was like, this person that's here, now is so, so much more grounded in like, what's truly important. He's learning about the things that we're talking about it now. And like, we're able to have actual real conversation where we show up as ourselves instead of this, like surface shit. And I'm like, you know what, actually, right? Like, that's what matters, not the, you know, he does assess, take naps, like that's really he's in the hospital for a year, you don't come out of that in three months. So it's cool. I didn't deal with that. Because there's all this and we had to go through all that shit. For that to happen, he probably wouldn't have if he if he hadn't almost died as many times as he did, or we hadn't had any of the issues that we had, we wouldn't be here. And so that has given me the perspective to know that like, hey, Karen, I see you, we don't have your shorts. I'm sorry, that is pissed you off. I was just gonna be kind to you anyway, maybe it impacts you. Maybe it doesn't. Brandon Handley 32:58 Because it goes to the whole idea of you know, treating others as you know, we can love thy neighbor isn't love thy neighbor, them, you know, you love the neighbor as yourself. Because, you know, in essence, and at least in our conversation in our world, they are. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, you're not getting it. And I say this so that, you know, for the person out there that is struggling to deal with the people that are paying their ass or whatever, with a couple things, right? I mean, however that person is, that's kind of a reflection of who we are. Right? And then the idea of you get what you give, so no, kill them with kindness, right? And maybe, maybe take that person out of the equation and put yourself in an equation, right? Like, you know what, I'm just gonna, you're me. I love you. Yeah, you know, I Lindsey Garner 33:55 mean, oh, I just had a thought that. Okay, I don't share this a lot. So I'm going to share it and this is what I do. So my husband cheated on me. We had infidelity in our relationship. And here it is, like, this girl that he cheated on me this was a manifestation of every single insecurity that I had. She was the complete opposite of me. And in my deepest shit, it made me super insecure and like I'm not good enough. I'm, I don't look a certain way. I don't add a lot on Instagram posting selfies. It's just not who I am. no judgement, live your life, but it's not. And I was like, Oh my God, is this what he wants? And then I I mean, it clicked for me one day and I was like, holy shit. She is everything that I am holding on to as my own insecurity and I put that shit in my path. And I'm not you know, I'm not here to say that. There's not any like, Oh, it was me that I did that. No, I Unknown Speaker 35:00 mean, but but I mean, Brandon Handley 35:02 so you're taking ownership of it and one way or another, right. And, and it was really interesting. I saw jack Canfield, you know, Chicken Soup for the Soul guy. He said, just just for a moment, if you can own 100% of it, by all of it, then own it, right. But if you just own 99% of it, then there's a problem, right? But here, and what you've done is you've said, you know, you're looking at this other person, those are all the vibes that you were sending out, you were like, creating this thing yourself. And you focused on it long enough with enough emotion with enough intensity to you know, kind of create your own bullshit. Gollum, whatever her name was. Lindsey Garner 35:52 100% Yeah. Right. And, and, and crazy, like, exactly it in my head. Brandon Handley 36:00 Right. And and, and the thing is, there's a lot of power in that then no, so Okay. dial in the wrong fucking thing. So now, now you're like, Alright, well, you know, here's what I would change about that going forward. Right? And and, you know, you mentioned Esther Hicks. Right. So you're an abraham hicks fan? Unknown Speaker 36:23 Yeah. Brandon Handley 36:25 The her whole principle is like, you know, the relationships that you've had in the past, right? The idea that I don't want somebody this moves, I don't want somebody does this. I don't want somebody does that, and yada, yada, and all sudden that person shows up. Right? Right. It was funny, because a meg and I had dinner last week, we were talking about the relationships that my mom had, as I was growing up, you know, her, my dad was abusive, right? And so she got us out of that before me and before it ever earned for me. But almost every guy that I recall, her being in a relationship later in life with was abusive. So just makes me think, and I'm sure that, you know, she tunes into this one that she probably say no, but and I don't know, but like, you know, the whole idea of, I don't want somebody that abuses me, I don't want somebody to treat me like this. I don't want somebody treats me. And instead of instead of saying, This is what I do want. And and I always, you know, I have Meg do it at dinner. I was like, you know, do you pull out your Google phone, you know, pull up Google put in there, type in no red balloons, right? What's gonna come up black and red balloons everywhere? I mean, it because, you know, so our minds operate in the same way. So I mean, you know, which is something you're familiar with. One of the things that you did, though, throughout, you know, kind of this whole ordeal with your husband being this way, you you manifest some pretty crazy shit. Right? Let's talk about that. Like, let's talk about how you, you know, you focused on what you mean, Tell, tell us how you manifested that stuff. And you did it and kind of squirt water and some pretty cool things to talk about. Lindsey Garner 38:06 He? Well, so we're both veterans, and he's 100% disabled. So most of his health care goes to the VA. When he first got sick, that was what we were doing. We were going through the VA and the VA denied him care, he kept getting sicker, kept getting sicker, they couldn't really figure it out. And we had to just kind of start and think, Okay, you know what, we got to go somewhere else like this isn't gonna work. And so I recently did the The first thing anybody says with me, it's like all call your congressman call your congressman. So we did all that, right. We're like, Okay, here we go. Like, let's do this. I don't know anything about politics. But let me get started. I'm not very political. Um, so went that route, and I was on a walk one day, all my, all my best shit comes in, I'm walking that damn feral dog. And I love my dog, but he's a mess. So we take a lot of walks, because he needs a lot. And we're walking. And I was like, there has to be a place where he can get everything that he needs, mental, spiritual, physical. All of this, like it's got to be a place. And that for me, I'm, I am a big believer in feeling how things feel in your body. And I do feel like that sounds right. There it is. And so instead of going to the VA, my first thing is I call my sister, my sister's a doctor, and I'm like, maybe, you know, is this a thing like and she started giving me a couple places I could look and I just kept meditating on that. I was like, we're gonna find a place that is going to be all encompassing, is going to follow him through to the end because the VA said, No, you we're gonna send you to a nursing home. And my sister was like, he will die in that nursing home. He will not go out. It and during COVID he would have gone by himself, I wouldn't have been able to be there. Unknown Speaker 40:06 Yeah, and sure enough, Lindsey Garner 40:08 people reached out for Mass General and said, Hey, we can take him on not only can we take him on, we can pay for pay for what the insurance doesn't cover. And I was like, What? And then a friend of his created a GoFundMe, and it blew up and gave us enough to cover my travel costs to go back and forth and to pay for me to take time off work to be there. And I mean, I, Brandon Handley 40:32 I want to I want to throw out there too, like, I mean, you also have a family and it's not just you and your husband. Like, I think Unknown Speaker 40:39 a teenage daughter Brandon Handley 40:41 right so so you know, you got all that going on. And and it's enough to you talked about, you know, being being a caregiver for this long period of time, and I chuckled to myself is like you know, for better for worse, but like, I mean, for like a half hour or a day maybe right? But you've got this you've got this whole year going on. And what I'm hearing yourself say those like you know, when you're when you're walking into golf is walks you you're kind of tossing these questions to the universe, like you know, what we're, you know, you know, feel and then you talk about feeling it and and one thing that I think is a male and and the United States Anyways, we're taught not to feel a whole lot, right. But you know, dawns on me really like feeling really is you know, your thoughts and emotions, you know, your head and your heart coming together as one and doing kind of like a purposeful way. And sounds to me like you were feeling your way forward in a way that felt best. I hate to say like, follow your bliss, or when I say I'll say follow your hunches. Are you familiar with Florence? scovel Shinn, huh? Yes, this is my jam, right? But you know, hunches or your house or heaven or something like that, again, it's one of her things, right? So you're following your hunches and you're focused on the possible and then this just started happening? Lindsey Garner 42:01 Yeah, it does. And my marriage counselor, anytime there was like a hiccup in our marriage, he's like, Oh, there you go. You're fast. manifester. What we think you out and I'm like, yeah, damn it. Yeah, that's true. Um, yeah. And I don't know like, you can say like, I could see right now like, I want to be a NASA or at NASA thing that thing anymore. I want to be an astronaut. That sounds really cool. Doesn't land for me. It doesn't I don't get excited about it. I feel that and if I say on the other hand, like, I want to live in campgrounds one day because I love campground people. I love the lack of boundaries that exists in campgrounds. Brandon Handley 42:48 nightmare. Lindsey Garner 42:52 We've talked about it. I'm like, no, it's great. Everybody like comes over eats your dinner. You they come into your house. They're like, Can I see your camper? And you're like, yeah, oh, yeah, you Brandon Handley 43:02 get rid of the airstream. I'm so jealous. Lindsey Garner 43:05 though nobody bought for keeping it. And me and Zach in RV can Unknown Speaker 43:09 rent them out, by the way, right? You can rent them right? Lindsey Garner 43:12 Well, I just don't have time to manage it. I like Brandon Handley 43:15 I'll send you a link later. But you don't have to do the management this kind of like an Airbnb forum. Unknown Speaker 43:21 Yeah. Okay. Unknown Speaker 43:23 Great. Anyways, I Lindsey Garner 43:24 mean, we're gonna keep it for our road trip this summer. So Lisa, my 15 year old daughter and two dogs are taking this little Airstream. We're going, Brandon Handley 43:33 Yeah, I love it. So standing naked in front of strangers, your blog, people should be going and checking it out. They're going to find more of kind of what we're talking about here. I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. And it's going to be kind of like, we're speed dating, right? We're seriously right now. And woo Wayne. So why are so many people depressed? Lindsey Garner 44:00 Don't think they're connected to who they are? think they're connected what they think everyone wants them to be? feel like they're faking it a lot faking It's exhausting. Brandon Handley 44:12 When you stay connected to who you are, like, what does that mean to you? Lindsey Garner 44:18 Things showing up as what you think others expect of you instead of in a way that honors like why you know, you've been put here everyone has a purpose Everyone has their own path and like the more that we get connected to that and show up in that way. Brandon Handley 44:37 So you would you would tell somebody to kind of try and fight figure out what the purpose is to start lean into it and that would lead them to kind of who they are. Lindsey Garner 44:44 Yeah, and that doesn't mean this like giant sexy thing. Like for me, I freakin love running a retail store, right? I used to think it needed to be this like, huge thing. I really get joy out of selling yoga pants. I love it. Brandon Handley 44:56 And that's awesome, right? And I think that that can be And it's been tough for me to find that so tough for me to find that right? If I'm not doing if I'm not doing something a little heavier, right? Because if if, you know, going back to, if I feel like I'm in a room with people talking about stubby thighs, I don't feel like I'm living my best life. Right? And so so like, how do you how do you get out of that? And there's it sounds to me, like you found ways to focus on what you're bringing into your life and to these people through the work that you do. That is driving your purpose and satisfaction, and it doesn't have to be doesn't have to be your shelter changing the world, right? So someone's world, Lindsey Garner 45:40 yeah, in my own little universe. And I think that that's the way that's the most accessible to everyone like it. I think sometimes, this idea of like our purpose, we make it this big thing. And then it seems so far that we don't even take a step towards it. But like, if I can come into my store, say something kind to someone, they all say all of a sudden feel more comfortable in their skin, or they then repeat that that's change, and you've made it in your own little microcosm, right. Brandon Handley 46:08 But it's also micro, right, you go back to the idea of stepping into your greatness. And sometimes that's like, 1000 baby steps to get there. Yes, right. So these small, you're right, like if we try to put this overarching sense of purpose, where it's like this huge fuckin vision, right? Like, you know. And instead we say, you know, I think it's okay to say that. This is my purpose for right now. Yeah. Are people out there? There are people out there who believe your purpose doesn't change. Right. Um, but I think that there are instances of you know, about this purpose revision. Lindsey Garner 46:52 I can tell you right now, 19 year old Lindsey that I don't know what my Yeah, I don't think it was the same. Right? Right. Talk about it. Brandon Handley 47:01 Let's let's do you know, I love the idea that you you feel like you can connect with the divine at will that you are divine. That to me, would indicate that you've got an idea on kind of what heaven is and how to get there. Lindsey Garner 47:18 afraid of death anymore, either, which is cool. Like I live recklessly, but I'm not afraid of death anymore. Because I just don't view it. Like, I have a different relationship with planes of existence in time, you know that. I just don't do it the same. Also meditation can we just all get the shit out of our head that you need to be sitting on a pillow with like, incense burning, and essential oils and mala, like, my best meditations in my car. I'm on lunch break. Brandon Handley 47:49 I'm so glad to say I was doing it yesterday, like in the car. Like I was, like, you know what, and it was very comfortable. I had like my own jams going. Also sound therapy because like, I can turn that off. I can turn the volume up and says like, I can set like theta waves in the car, right? And I'm sitting in a theta situation. So yeah, what is heaven right to you, and how would you get there? Lindsey Garner 48:15 I think it's actually like, getting into a place. Where, okay, I'm going to describe this because my husband, I talk about this all the time. So we have two dogs. We have three dogs, but with an English bulldog. She's 11 she's kind of an asshole. She's grumpy. She bites people. Then we have Bojangles He's my dog. And he lives his life. Just like so fully. He's so excited to see you. He is so curious and just in joy all the time. And I feel like shorty, that's the grumpy asshole. She's on her like, first life Bojangles be like on his 77th he's had time to be like, Oh, don't do that. Now, okay. And you learn and you learn and you learn and I honestly, I think that it's it's an ability to have what we would consider to be like, a life. That is that where you're like, man, I am in this and I am Yeah, there's hard things but like it's okay. And you move through it. I really I think it's more than that. And I don't really think we have a concept of it. I think there's a way I could describe it. But I think it's like an ultimate sense of peace enjoy. Brandon Handley 49:33 Yeah, I mean, so it sounds to me that you're kind of living your life as it is and finding those moments of connection. Yeah, would be to you a little bit like having and yeah, are you are you saying then that new could have heaven here on earth and not like Belinda Carlisle song but slightly different. Lindsey Garner 49:58 Oh, way to go. Good work, Belinda Carlisle. Yeah, I do think that, uh, now I want to sing it, but I don't want that I don't want that immortalized in the podcast. My teenage daughter would be like, what are you doing? I am mortified. Although right. Brandon Handley 50:19 Now, that's perfect. And I agree, I think that, um, I think that it is, and I think that it hasn't closed. But I think that, you know, kind of, the more that you meditate, the more that you focus on it, the more that you make that your intent and your purpose to find in your life, you know, by pop in, you know, heavens, in my Google search engine, it's a good chance that we'll find it right, at least I can dig, I don't know how many, how many O's I'm gonna have to go through to find the one that I like. But, you know, if we put that into our search engines, then we have an opportunity to find it. So, so grateful, again, for you for free to pop on. I've enjoyed getting to know you a little bit more. Enjoy, you know, thank you for the conversations that we get to have online and thanks for the conversations that you have with with Meg, I know that you get to act as a as a translator, for what I'm saying. It's true, because once he gets to translate what it is I'm saying the mag normal language. And it's a challenge, right? Because I'm so immersed in it right and and, you know, as the idea of you become what you eat, right? And if all you're taking in is this content, that's all I can come out. And we get to I get to a point and I know that I'm not the best with it, but I sometimes I do forget, you know where I came from like this is I've always been connected to source. Unknown Speaker 51:53 No. Brandon Handley 51:55 No. The other day when you're being asshole you weren't connected? You're totally not. Lindsey Garner 52:00 Yeah, I really honest part of why I write is because I am terrible at communicating my husband. And if you got it helps a lot. He's like, Brandon Handley 52:09 I mean, that's why we have 90% of our conversations on Facebook, right? Like, that's where we catch up. She'll come in and she'll come in and let me know something's going on. But yeah, I read that, like, two hours ago, we're all caught up like, I'm on your feed from but so so again, very grateful for you coming on today. I'm glad that we got the chance to have this conversation. Where should I send people to go hang out with you? which defines Lindsey Garner 52:33 Yeah, go read my blog. I think that's a good way and then yeah, I mean, it's it's a it's a baby blog, because they do it very much on the side and I would love one day to make that thing that is bigger and then I can do on a larger scale. So yeah, go and tell me what you want me to say and start a conversation I hate small talk. So yeah, just like drop some really awkward awesome deep shit in there my best day Brandon Handley 53:00 when somebody so you've also got the chat function there, you know, outside of some deep shifts that you want some people to drop their what you know, what are some other things that somebody might feel reach out to you for? Lindsey Garner 53:15 Anything that I read connects you in? You're like, man, how did you do that? I'm not here to tell you like this was easy. It took me like 10 years to figure this shit out. But I can be a partner and a sounding board and nothing annoys me more than an advice giver. So I will not give you advice but there is face always face to just be where you are. And then maybe sometimes like a gentle nudge, be like okay, you've been where you are a little too long time. Let's do this. Unknown Speaker 53:41 Like right after you get the fuck out. Lindsey Garner 53:43 Yeah, sir. I know a way. Unknown Speaker 53:47 Right? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. Okay, thank Unknown Speaker 53:51 you. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

The Spirit at Work in the Shake-Ups of Life- part II Lourdes Pinto and Fr. Jordi Rivero 5/3/21 The Holy Spirit is God's gift to us from His pierced Heart on the Cross where He hung as a total failure in the eyes of the world. The Holy Spirit is our closest divine Companion. He is our guide, teacher, spiritual director, friend, help, light … He is the Transformer. He is the one that consumes us in His fire of love bringing forth our death in Christ crucified so that we can then be raised with Christ as a new creation.  As long as we hold on to our expectations about what constitutes our success, our being useful, even our holiness, we are blocking the Spirit.   Think of your lives as a candle. Until the wick is lit, it is useless; its true purpose has not begun. When we “rekindle the gift of God that is within” (2 Timothy 1:6), we are set on fire with the Holy Spirit. He begins to consume us as a candle is consumed before the Blessed Sacrament. The Holy Spirit melts our pride, self-love, vanity, desires, plans, expectations, control, and attachments until our self has melted. We no longer live, it is Christ who lives through us, with us, and in us. The Holy Spirit transforms us into living hosts, and the Eucharistic Reign of Christ triumphs in us and through us. This is the great gift of the Holy Spirit. Our shake-ups, crisis, trials, burnout, whatever we wish to call it, is a BLESSING.  A priest may be tempted to think that his greatness is measured by his abilities as a homilist, administrator, counselor, healer….   that, to be born again, to be a great priest, he must achieve the expectations of his superiors, or most often, his own disordered expectations. Yet God calls all of us to excel in a different way, by humbly embracing our misery, our brokenness, by accepting humbly our limitations.  St. Faustina believed she was offering Jesus everything when she said: 1318  O my Jesus, in thanksgiving for Your many graces, I offer You my body and soul, intellect and will, and all the sentiments of my heart. Through the vows, I have given myself entirely to You; I have then nothing more that I can offer You. Jesus said to me, My daughter, you have not offered Me that which is really yours. I probed deeply into myself and found that I love God with all the faculties of my soul and, unable to see what it was that I had not yet given to the Lord, I asked, “Jesus, tell me what it is, and I will give it to You at once with a generous heart.” Jesus said to me with kindness, Daughter, give Me your misery, because it is your exclusive property. Perhaps that is the hardest to give the Lord. Yet the Lord loves us as we are. He knows our brokenness and will make us saints through our trusting surrender.  To receive the gift of the Holy Spirit is to allow Him to complete this work of redemption in us with no resistance as the candle allows itself to be consumed by the fire.  “You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit.” Acts 7:51 Holy Spirit, consumes all, transforms all, into Love, Message of 2/16/12           I Am the Light of God. The Fire in the burning bush that Moses saw was the Fire of the Spirit of God, the third Person of the Most Holy Trinity. It is My Fire of Love that consumes all and draws all into union with the Father through the Son. The gaze of Jesus is My Light penetrating your heart and being. The Words of Jesus are My Fire consuming you in Love and blessing you with wisdom, understanding, knowledge and fear of the Lord. I Am the breadth of the Son, that is why He breathed on His apostles My life. I Am the Fire of Love in the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I Am the Love of the Father and the Son. I, the Holy Spirit, consumes all, transforms all, into Love... It is I Who sets on fire every...

Who am I? Who do I want to be? How can you become the person you want to be if you’re not assuming and acting as if you already are who you want to become?   Connect with me: SincerelyTam.com Twitter | @iamSincerelyTam Instagram | @iamSincerelyTam SincerelyHER.com Twitter | @xoSincerelyHER Instagram | @xoSincerelyHER Facebook | @xoSincerelyHER   Leave some feedback: Are my bite-sized notes helping you find clarity, get sh*t done, and win? If so, please subscribe and leave a review, and a 5-star rating.

Karen Darke is a British Paraplegic adventurer, athlete and author. Karen was a keen runner and mountaineer (climbing both Mont Blanc and the Matterhorn), however, at 21 years old, she was paralysed from the chest down following an accident, whilst sea cliff climbing.    Karen has continues to go follow her interests and passions and loves going on adventures, which have included, hand cycling over 2,000 miles from Canada to Mexico down the Pacific Coast Highway, which she did in 2017.    Karen also become the first paraplegic woman to handcycle across the Himalayas, sea kayak from Canada to Alaska (1500 km, 2003), skied across the Greenland Ice Cap (a trip of over 600 kilometres, 2006), and climbed the kilometre high overhanging rock-face of El Capitan. She has also hand-cycled down the Silk Route, the length of Japan and across Tibet.    During this episode Karen share more about her personal challenges, Quest 79 and the Pole of Possibility.   You can listen to Karen on the Tough Girl Podcast, new episodes are every Tuesday at 7am UK time!   Show notes Being a modern day Alchemist Why 79 is such a special number What quest 79 is Wanting to encourage other people to step outside their comfort zone Winning the gold medal at Rio The defining moments in her career Surprising herself with her performance Working with a sports psychologist Asking the question - Who am I? Who are you? The Wild Way Having something to look forward to after the Rio Olympics Getting resupply on the route Struggling to wild camp in Chile  Loving the Himalayas  Dealing with descents  Riding into Katmandu Not being supported by a team Doing adventures and journeys with people you don’t know Overcoming challenges Working towards a common goal The pole of possibility The importance of having a purpose Partnering with the Polar Academy  Dealing with the cold Regulating her body temperature 79 is the atomic number for gold Inner gold Why it’s always about the journey The connection of the inner and outer worlds Learning from every journey  Why you have to feel your emotions How Covid has impacted on Karen Writing books The Adventure Mindset Program Final words of advice   Social Media   Website - https://www.karendarke.com    Facebook @karenquest79   Instagram @handbikedarke   Twitter @kdarke

Today we are in the most indiscriminate crash in the history of our lives. If you have the will to make money and be ethically through it, you can make money. I am talking about financial empowerment and the steps you need to take so you can take advantage of this indiscriminate market. You need to grab a pen and paper for this episode. I share many practical ideas so you can leave with a plan.  Today I am sharing a webinar with Raymond Aaron. Raymond is a New York Times Top 10 best selling author. He has been on stage for 37 years helping people write books, increase their credibility and branding, and understand the spiritual universe.  In this episode, I am talking about financial empowerment and taking action. How do you act, make money, and think the way the wealthy do? I answer this question and talk about practical steps for becoming a millionaire in 3-5 years. I talk about bitcoin, cannabis, hemp, digital currency, and so much more.  Show Notes: [00:41] Raymond Aaron is a New York Times Top 10 best selling author.  [02:54] Loral has been a multi-millionaire for 20 years and standing.     [04:35] She is talking about ways to make money in three days.   [06:21] Loral was filmed for the movie The Secret and got into the final edit. She is a millionaire maker.   [08:29] Loral has 52 books and five hit the New York Times.   [10:11] Instead of focusing on what you can’t have in the struggles, you focus on what you can have.   [12:54] Loral grew up on a farm in Nebraska. At 17, she received the book Think and Grow Rich and it changed her trajectory.   [14:19] In 1996 she really started studying money. She got a finance degree. She realized that working a traditional job was not for her.  [15:45] You can totally become a millionaire. You just have to do the steps in the right sequence.  [18:09] Some of the things we have been taught and the way we think about money is completely wrong. [20:02] This is your opportunity to change from being an employee to being an entrepreneur. [22:03] Today we are in the most indiscriminate crash in the history of our lives. If you have the will to make money and be ethically through it, you can make money. [23:32] Who am I? Who am I going to be on the other side of this? I have the trajectory to change my entire life.   [25:52] Digital currency is here and you are going to have to engage in it.  [27:27] Big asset classes right now are digital currency, the stock market, businesses, real estate, hemp, and cannabis.  [29:27] First, you are going to keep making money. Get as lean as you can with your personal accounts and assets.   [31:56] Pivot to new cash and get as much as you can.  [34:18] We are taught to go to school and get a job. We put a portion to a retirement structure, where we get taxed to pieces and live off the crumbs.  [36:26] Be an entrepreneur and be the boss! [37:29] You are going to take on good debt to become a millionaire.    [39:21] You have to have decision making, sequencing, and some common sense. Not difficult, but it has to be in the right order.  [41:29] You find places in your community that you can’t imagine living without and you invest in them.   [43:29] Companies make money. Individuals get taxed. [45:20] Colleges are teaching us to be employees. With a CEO mindset, you can look for teammates. [47:41] As an employee, it is a fixed income. As an entrepreneur, you can have an unlimited income.   [49:06] There are so many direct sales businesses all over the world that you can do.  [50:45] Real estate deals are everywhere.   [52:31] Many people make decisions based on their bank balance versus the projected money you can make.     [54:52] All of you have the ability to make money, you just haven’t been taught. You haven’t been taught to ask for money. You man is not your plan for financial freedom.   [56:02] Your own business and database are one of the greatest assets you will ever own.  [59:09] Challenge where you put boundaries around yourself. [60:13] Loral wants us to get to the place where making money and keeping money is just what we do. [62:11] You are going to find your tribe in Loral’s tribe especially as they get to know you and find out what you need and don’t want.  [62:47] Everyone should write a book.  It is your brain on paper and makes you credible. You want your book to be the top of your funnel.    [64:17] She brings a ton of people to the Marketplace because they have to teach you how to make money. It starts with a new business model.   [67:16] Loral loves the residual income that comes from direct sales.   [68:02] Yes energy is when you say yes and you have no idea what to do because then you figure it out. Then it is time to get creative and find resources.   [69:24] We don’t focus on making six figures. We focus on making $500 a day.   [71:14] Business and money are in your life every day. Why are you doing it alone? [73:09] It is not self-driven, it is customer-driven. You don’t control but instead, provide leadership.  [74:36] Making money and investing money is where most people go wrong. Instead of making it and spending it, you should make it and invest it.   [76:32] When you say yes, you start getting creative about who is going to help you. You need to lead more and do less.   Links and Resources: Ask Loral App Loral on Facebook Loral on YouTube Loral on LinkedIn Money Rules Millionaire Maker Store Raymond Aaron Think and Grow Rich  

Philippians 1:1-11 The Joy in saying (1) “Hi” vs1-2 A. Who am I? [Who am I in God?] B. Who do I serve? [Who is in control?] C. What will I bring today? [Grace and Peace) (2) “Thanks” vs3-6 A. [Who?] Thank God First & Foremost B....

Why Grace + Growth? Emily messaged me this morning and said… “Ok, best tool for knowing YOURSELF. Go.” I at first asked if she was being dirty, which I knew she wasn’t, but it was fun to ask anyhow but then I got thinking. Who are we? Who am I? Who do I want to be? How do I figure that out? What work do I do? How do I put that into words? My mind first went to sitting with your thoughts. Meditation and blogging (my form of journaling) is really how I get my thoughts out with a clear mind and no noise. During meditation I acknowledge my thoughts. Sometimes they overtaken my meditation, but I work hard to bring my mind back to my breath or the work that I am being guided through. Journaling is where I seek out thoughts and write what comes to mind about a certain topic or fleeting thought, or event, or deep work within myself. Listen to find out the rest. https://www.cfarbeyondthebox.com/blog

Today's Topics: 1) Gospel -  John 15:9-17 - It was not you who chose me, but I Who chose you Bishop Sheen quote of the day 2, 3) Guests:  Father Chris Alar and Matthew Arnold talk about their new show on VMPR 4) When prayer proved powerful against a plague https://www.returntoorder.org/2020/05/when-prayer-proved-powerful-against-plague/?pkg=rtoe0960

Who are we? Who am I? Who are you? So much of who we are is tied up in how we look and the labels we put on ourselves and others. Why is this? We chat about the importance we give to hair and the different shades of looking good. We reflect on where our beliefs and judgements come from and priorities not just our own but also societies. Content information from this episode: https://www.livetheimpossible.today/031 Get the free Live the Impossible Playbook, here https://www.livetheimpossible.today/ Oliver & Susanas mentoring programs: https://silverhoj.com/ Pam the Health Genie: https://www.pamlob.com/ Oliver & Susanas travel blog: https://www.conscioustravelfamily.com/ Jon Century our household Magic Musician: https://www.joncentury.com/music  

Many times, it can be easy to feel like we lose ourselves in all of our roles and responsibilities. We get so busy rushing from one thing to the next on the calendar, trying to keep up and perform, checking off all the tasks on our to-do lists. We get milk and sippy cups, take the kids to soccer, get dinner on the table, run our businesses, and keep up with work. In the midst of all of this, you’re probably asking yourself: Where am I? Who am I in all of this? Where does my identity come from? What are things that are me that feel right for me? This forced pause we’re all in right now is a great time to stop and think about what’s really true for you. What do you want your life to look like? What do you want your story to be? We're so busy rushing and keeping up that we never have time to pause and reflect on what we really want our lives to look like, or if the life we’re living is one that’s true to who we were created to be. I've noticed that when I’m the most stressed, anxious and frustrated, it's not because I'm doing too many things. It's because I'm doing the wrong things. I’m doing the things that aren't in line with my values and that don't feel like me. [share]We're so busy rushing and keeping up that we never have time to pause and reflect on what we really want our lives to look like, or if the life we’re living is one that’s true to who we were created to be.[/share] But the opposite is also true: When you spend your time on things you value and things that are right, you’ll feel joy, fulfillment, purpose, peace, less stress and more control. You’ll feel like you're living a life that's right for you. And that's what I want to help you do. In this new series, I’m going to share five practical things you can do to discover who you are and what's right for you so that you can create a life that's true to you, your values and what God has in store for your life. Journal Questions: I want to help you journal and craft a vision for what a life true to you looks like. So, grab your journal and a pen and answer these simple questions: What would it feel like? What would it include? What would it not include?

Longtime podcaster, full-cast audio pioneer and independent filmmaker, and author of 30 books, J. Daniel Sawyer hosts the daily writers podcast The Every Day Novelist dedicated to creativity, process, writerly discipline, and cultivating a fertile mental life.TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLESHOW LINKS:Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: youtube.com/c/KevinTumlinsonWordslinger Podcast on YouTube: youtube.com/c/wordslingerpodcastAuthor.Email: author.emailIndie Author Blueprint: indieauthorblueprint.comGUEST LINKS:Website:: http://www.jdsawyer.netAmazon Author Page:: https://www.amazon.com/J-Daniel-Sawyer/e/B003L9JM92Twitter:: @dsawyerFacebook:: https://www.facebook.com/jdaniel.sawyerHow can people join your mailing list?: http://jdsawyer.net/about/mailing-list-signup/SPONSORS:DRAFT2DIGITAL: Convert, publish, and distribute your book worldwide, with support the whole way. https://draft2digital.com/wordslingerACORNS: Start an Acorns account today and get FREE MONEY! kevintumlinson.com/acornsAUDIBLE.COM: Get a FREE 30-day trial of Audible and listen to any audiobook in their vast library, when you go to http://audibletrial.com/wordslingerTRANSCRIPT:SUMMARY KEYWORDSbook, people, podcast, nanowrimo, pandemic, years, worldview, everyday, talking, novelist, life, interesting, grew, read, thought, recorded, held, listen, writing, questionsSPEAKERSKevin Tumlinson, J Daniel SawyerKevin Tumlinson 00:01Hey everybody, thank you for tuning in for sticking through the intro. I'm not even sure what I said in the intro, but I promise I will, I can guarantee at least I was interested in it. So thanks for tuning in and playing along. So today we're talking to Jay Daniel Sawyer. Now I'm going to read his bio here because it's it's got some great details for you but longtime podcaster full cast, audio pioneer, and independent filmmaker and author of 30 books. Jay saw your hosts the daily writers podcast, the everyday novelist, dedicated credit to creativity, process, and writerly discipline, and cultivating a fertile mental life. That's the part I wanted to get to in your bio. I like the idea of a fertile mental life. How's that? How's that shake out? And welcome to the show.J Daniel Sawyer 00:52Hi, Doug diggin Kevin. Yeah, you were on everyday novelist. What about it? But two years ago, I thinkKevin Tumlinson 00:58Yeah, a little bit. Doesn't seem like that long.J Daniel Sawyer 01:01I guys been crazy packed two years and like, every sense. Yeah,Kevin Tumlinson 01:06yeah. I feel like I've done a billion podcasts and webinars and live stream since then. And that's just this week. Oh, no. Yes. And I, you know, and I told you this before we started and I'm, I'm going to apologize to the rest of the world. Because if I sounded all frazzled, or off my game, it's because we've had so there's that on top of a pandemic, and I don't know when you're listening to this, it's probably a little bit in the future for sure. Maybe things turned out all right. And if so, thank you world for playing along. But uh, you know, things have been a little crazy. In terms of stuff we're doing with DDD, we got these spotlights, we're doing like every day, and then my buddy here pops in and I for some reason, I thought it was one of my author consults. So So I'm off base. I'm off kilter man. We're gonna get back on trackJ Daniel Sawyer 02:04so I think we'll do fine.Kevin Tumlinson 02:06How is everything in the James J Daniel Sawyer world man Tell me a little bit about what you're doing right now.J Daniel Sawyer 02:12Oh well right now I'm stuck up in the backwoods I moved up to the backwoods of New England for a week in order to help my parents relocate a year ago It turned out that their their retirement house needed some renovations. So Oh, got stuck here. And just as we were getting ready to leave the quarantine comes down. So I might be stuck here another year. So there's a lot of interesting refactoring going on.Kevin Tumlinson 02:36But that seems to be the way that works out. I mean, we we were we moved out of our apartment and moved into our in laws place for a few days, quote, unquote, and then 14 hit and we're like, well, they're gonna hunker down anyway. Go ahead.J Daniel Sawyer 02:54Yeah. But yeah, it's it's good. It's, you know, we're on we've got 50 acres to play with. So there's a Lots of good time for outside notice and using the opportunity to resurrect my fiction podcast and get some work ahead done on the homestead we're building on the other side of the country. Right? So it's, it's gonna work outKevin Tumlinson 03:15what kind of work ahead can you do if it's on the other side of the country?J Daniel Sawyer 03:18There's a lot of design stuff. Yeah design, designing and costing sourcing stuff for the first buildings figuring out order of operations for at what stage we do the well when we do the catchment, what's the priority of how much electrical build out because where we are, it's a quarter mile beyond the last electrical pole. So it's 20 odd thousand just to bring power in. It's actually a lot cheaper. Even though we're in an iffy climate zone. It's actually a lot cheaper to go solar. So, right. Yes, that's a whole new set of things I've been learning about andKevin Tumlinson 03:53Oh, man. Yeah, you're talking to the right guy. Cool. This is I have to so you know, You know that we're getting into an RV full time again? Yeah. So the the two biggest problems, the three big problems. One, the two are bigger than the third. But internet is the biggest challenge. You know, power isn't such a big challenge unless it's going to be hot. And then we have Eric. Right. So, yeah, so solar power and generators and alternative energy are all in my mind. I'm thinking about installing something on the wheels of the camper that as we rolling in generates power.J Daniel Sawyer 04:36I've been studying doing that kind of stuff. It should be pretty, pretty simple.Kevin Tumlinson 04:40Yeah, man. Yeah. by simple, you know, that's a relative term.J Daniel Sawyer 04:44Well, it's a relative term. But the question is, would it be more efficient than just putting a bigger alternator in the truck? Yeah. And then, and then routing it to the chargeback.Kevin Tumlinson 04:55That's something else I I've considered. Well, yeah, whatever. This has been alternate energy talk everyone.J Daniel Sawyer 05:03So, well, you know, we were talking about a fertile mental life. Yeah, exactly. I mean, one of the one of the things about creativity is it's nonlinear, you can't reason your way into what you have to do is you have to create a broad, a broad base of knowledge and experience and interests to pull from. And so, you know, one of the ways that I keep myself Spry is by picking interesting stuff that's not related to anything else I'm doing and finding a way to get interested in it because I always get story ideas out of it.Kevin Tumlinson 05:35Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's interesting. And that and so that's what you mean by by fertile mental life?J Daniel Sawyer 05:42Well, partly, I've just finished a book called The autodidact Bible, which should be coming out. I think we've set the publication date for early July. Yeah. Which is a basically a comprehensive toolkit for teaching yourself how to self educate, eat, whether you're self educated. With philosophy or with carpentry, and everything in between,Kevin Tumlinson 06:04man, I gotta tell you, though, hmm, you should call it a fertile mental life. The other didactics Bible. Thank you.J Daniel Sawyer 06:11I've been looking for a good title for it because the working title is a bit wonky. Yeah, so I'll write that down.Kevin Tumlinson 06:20I think that's gonna work. I would buy that book. All right, I wouldn't buy the first one.J Daniel Sawyer 06:25right because it sounds really technical. ItKevin Tumlinson 06:27sounds like it's gonna Yeah, like, I'm gonna have to read this with like one of those clear rulers. Oh,06:35I lost I lost your lightingKevin Tumlinson 06:36just went away. Yeah, well, good thing nobody everyone listening is doesn't know that.J Daniel Sawyer 06:41Yeah, speaking of off grid power,Kevin Tumlinson 06:44no joke. Now, I'm not really sure why that happened. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna let that charge up while I'm on with you. Okay,J Daniel Sawyer 06:52both backlit, so it's sort of fair. Exactly.Kevin Tumlinson 06:57Things things like this are always happening to me lately. I don't What's going on? Um, so yeah, we'll get off that see this one talking about some I get off track justJ Daniel Sawyer 07:09because I'll just chase whatever and that's okay. you stumble ontoKevin Tumlinson 07:12you know, I studied improv and you know, you roll with whatever is gonna come at you. Yeah,J Daniel Sawyer 07:17yes, yeah, yes and or no but but never Yeah.Kevin Tumlinson 07:20So, uh, I, let's talk a little bit about your well wouldn't talk about your book. Do you want to talk a little about your book? I was gonna get off on your podcastsJ Daniel Sawyer 07:32there. Let's get off on the podcast. They're related. They'reKevin Tumlinson 07:35related, okay, who partly out of the other. So tell me. How did the show get started? Like what made you decide to do itJ Daniel Sawyer 07:41back in? I think it was 2006 Yeah, 2005 or 2006. I went to a write in for NaNoWriMo at Central Park in Berkeley. And Chris, whatever his name is the guy that started NaNoWriMo was there and so I got to talk to you too. Like, why'd you know why did he do this? I'd never done it before. It always seemed kind of silly to me. And he said, Well, I wanted to be a writer and I couldn't motivate myself. So I decided to pick the most difficult month in the year and intentionally write a book there to prove to myself I could do it. Yeah, I thought that was kind of a cool idea. So I wanted to trying to do NaNoWriMo that year and I completely failed. But the the lit the minor features of the conversation like going in the direction of greatest difficulty in order to build up your writing chops, really sunk in made a big difference to me as a writer to my productivity and to my general approach to all things writerly. So, I had in mind always want especially once I started podcasting, I always thought it would be fun to do sort of a walkthrough of NaNoWriMo for the newbie who'd never written a book before. Okay, and about 2016 I had the free time. So I sat and did it. And I got to the end of this 30 day walkthrough, which has since evolved into my book becoming an everyday novelist. And I started getting emails from people saying, Please don't end it here. We've become dependent on it. And so I, I went on pod and I read a couple of these. And I said, Okay, so look, here's the problem. It took me, God, you know, God knows how many untold hours to work out the program for this 30 day walkthrough to put things in the right place to write the copy that whole bit. So if you want me to keep this going, you've got to make it easy for me send me questions or something. Yeah. And I thought that was gonna be the end of it. But they sent questions. And they kept sending questions, and they kept sending questions, and it's now four plus years on and we're just creeping up on 1000 episodes now, and they're still sending questions. Occasionally, a question will spin off and I'll do a special series or or I'll have a guest on every once in a while. Then about about two and a half years ago, I wrote a I cracked the formula for hemlines juvenile books. And so I wrote a Heinlein juvenile and did a walkthrough of how to write a headline juvenile interesting and you know, some other stuff like that. But as the years have gone on, the questions have gotten more and more interesting. We get into history in psychology and philosophy in general auto didacticism and mental health management and physical health management. And the reading list that I refer people to keeps growing and growing and growing.Kevin Tumlinson 10:41Yeah, was what puts you though, on that specific course like you are? Well, I guess more the more important question is like how are you answering those questions like where are the answers come from?J Daniel Sawyer 10:55Well, I read the questions when they come in and then about one second Good enough to do a block I record 15 to 30 episodes in a day. Yeah. And do it all off the top of my head. Okay, I'm, I'm Constance I grew up in I literally grew up in academia, both grandfathers are cattle ranchers and then my father is a theology professor. So I grew up idolizing my blue collar grandparents and hanging out in the college where my father taught. So I was like, auditing classes when I was six, seven years old. Just Yeah, I thought it was cool. Not realizing I was picking up useful stuff. Right. And I've just always loved learning and hated school. So I've become the I quit. I dropped out of school at 15. I started working full time and going to college on the sly. And just read, read, read, experiment, learn, do a bunch of different stuff. I've, I've run a courier company. I've run a couple of publishing companies. I've been in the tech world. I've run a music company. or not, that was music services company like MC live sound mixing and doing videos, that sort of thing. And over the years, I've built up this toolkit for how to navigate any situation and come out of it. Come out of it, learning a lot about it. That's crazy and how to cross apply those things to other areas so that you can bootstrap on multiple fronts at once. Yeah. So when someone comes in and asks a question, and I'm really I'm always really careful to separate my opinion from the state of the art in a given field and what the state of my knowledge is, and then, if it's something that's, you know, socially controversial, or that's fraught in the field, I refer to sources that contra counterbalance each other and when it's when it's something more historical, I just didn't refer to a couple of good books that are they give more depth on this. subject that I'm able to give. We've done deep dives on the history and background of the writing of certain influential books, you know, that kind of stuff.Kevin Tumlinson 13:09Yeah. And you're cataloging all this somewhere so that people can can access Yeah,J Daniel Sawyer 13:14yeah, there's a there's a on the website at everyday novelist calm there's a reading list of basically every book we've ever recommended on the cast. Do you album,Kevin Tumlinson 13:25are you monetizing that somehow? Are you you know, people got paid?J Daniel Sawyer 13:30Yes. No, no, well, it's, it's free. Listen, I've got Patreon subscribe star and the gumroad subscription feed all currently doesn't bring in very much but yes, for me, it's kind of a pay it forward thing I need to figure out how to monetize it a little better, because that's taken ungodly amount of time.Kevin Tumlinson 13:46That's always a challenge too. Because, you know, you like me. I mean, I I've lost track of how much I've put out there. that's meant to help the community but you know, at some point you do have to make a living. Luckily, my books make money. Living. So that's great. But he put in all this time and energy, you feel like there should be some sort of monetary reward.J Daniel Sawyer 14:09Well, people who listen to this, if you come over and listen to the cast kick $1 in here and there or buy the books through the Yeah, the site that really helps out a lot. One of the lovely things and you'll know, that's one of the lovely things about being sort of off the beaten track, whether you're in an RV or going or we were in an RV for a couple years or going off to the middle of the woods, is you have the freedom to live on quite a lot less than everybody else does. Right? So it doesn't take a whole lot to meet your monthly bills. So you know, we don't make a lot it really does help with the budget, but genuinely, every dollar helps us both nice and a little bit of a downer.Kevin Tumlinson 14:49Yeah, well, but I guess if you really think about it, that's just gonna be true no matter what I mean, you. Yeah, I mean for most people, for like, we'll say 90% of people. That's probably going to be the truth.J Daniel Sawyer 15:01It's got interesting. Yeah, it's gonna be interesting watching what kind of long term effects this whole. This whole endemic pandemic adventure has on people's determination to work from home and other things over the long term that could seriously change the shape of the way things work.Kevin Tumlinson 15:18I predict that I honestly think we're, we've just we just witnessed, like a leap forward in the evolution of a civilization. As you know, everything we understood has come to an end. And we're now going to reinvent ourselves.J Daniel Sawyer 15:35That's a lot more true than you might realize. Because it's not just the social changes that this is forcing. But there is another set of social changes that was waiting in the wings for coming to three years from now when the boomers hit mass retirement that this has accelerated. Yeah. And that is that because of the global demography, the demand driven economic expansion that started With the Black Death just ended, right just ended. Right? That's 500 years of political, social, and economic and ethical systems all premised on the notion that things would continue to grow at a moderate rate forever. They don't work anymore. Right? I'm planning on editing an anthology later this year dealing with potential new ways to do things where growth is not an embedded obligation of the system. Figure science fiction needs to get back to hardcore speculation. SoKevin Tumlinson 16:32I think we also just witnessed the opening of a whole new door when it comes to intellectual property and the way culture reacts with it.J Daniel Sawyer 16:42Yeah. Very interesting.Kevin Tumlinson 16:44Yeah. I'm real curious to see what happens. Because you know, you think about everything we've seen of late like all the little sessions where people do like, you know, oh, sorry about that. No problem. You got to clean anything up. You Good.J Daniel Sawyer 17:00No, no, I just wasn't my reflector wasn't backed by a strong enough, strong enough Wait,Kevin Tumlinson 17:05all right. You know those all those videos and everything that have popped up like nurses and doctors singing or high school kids singing something and performing something, you know, all that stuff is out there, it's getting a lot of attention. And some of it is easily even sort of inadvertently monetized. And but nobody is having to secure the rights to that stuff right now. SoJ Daniel Sawyer 17:30I'm curious to see what happened has to be some there's gonna have to be a new new compulsory licensing scheme, like happened in the 20th is when radio came in?Kevin Tumlinson 17:39Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know that there's a whole thing going on with this has been in discussion for years really, because this is why the Creative Commons first kind of came on the scene, but, you know, can you really truly own an idea and is it beneficial to society for you to own the idea Yeah, and we need to make a living as content creators. But do we, you know, how far does that extend in terms of ownership? So, you know, I'm, I kind of am on in that boat of, you know, ideas want to be free, like the guy who created Yep. Was it Oracle? No, it was a Linux, creator of Linux. Yes. But at the same time I make my living from my ideas. So.J Daniel Sawyer 18:30Oh, no, it was, it was it was it was a bill, what's his name from Sun Microsystems said that.Kevin Tumlinson 18:34Okay. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. No, no, probably. Yeah. No, IJ Daniel Sawyer 18:39yeah. No, I'm the same way. I've quite a lot of my stuff is creative commons license. And I you know, I've interviewed Cory Doctorow years ago and yeah, and, and the greatest The greatest enemy of any new artist is obscurity and not piracy, all that sort of stuff. Yep. totally on board with that. And on the other hand, the yeah The rationale for copyright law is that the for the civilization to benefit from the culture, people have to be incentivized to make it. And when everything was expensive to publish, that was very easy to that was a very easy line to draw, but it's not anymore and we've delayed rethinking that seriously. years and nobody has put Yeah, I think you're right, that dam just broke.Kevin Tumlinson 19:27Yeah, I absolutely think it has. And, you know, of course, one of the things that's that's been happening since since the pandemic started almost hesitate to talk about the pandemic at all honestly, because by the time this episode airs we should hopefully be out ofJ Daniel Sawyer 19:45don't bet on it. I'm expecting that I'm expecting that there'll be a sawtooth quarantine forKevin Tumlinson 19:50we'll see we'll see if you're right if this good when this goes live, we'll see if that things change. I don't know what but whateverJ Daniel Sawyer 19:57I'll on record. So if my prediction everyone laughKevin Tumlinson 20:00at me gonna be a transcript and everything, man. Absolutely. So I think, you know, right now I know from, from my experience with drafter digital and in my own personal experience that ebooks, ebook sales have been just going through the roof. You know? And I mean, we've we've seen, like a 45% increase across retailers, but like 175% increase with libraries. So people are out there. IJ Daniel Sawyer 20:27got my book library sales have also gone way up. Yeah. Yeah. It's, so I seem to have the greatest penetration in libraries with my audiobooks. SoKevin Tumlinson 20:37that's interesting, though. That's interesting. Because most of the time when I think about audio books, I'm thinking like people are getting them to listen to while they drive into work or something. I would think so too, butJ Daniel Sawyer 20:49that maybe, you know, while there would be out everybody taking walks or Yeah, or cleaning the house, and if you're living in the house, you have to clean a lot more often.Kevin Tumlinson 20:59So how are you Balancing the podcasting and everything else you're doing with the writing, like how you keep on track.J Daniel Sawyer 21:08I tend to batch a lot, current. So like right now, it is called the everyday novelist because I usually write everyday but the last few months, because things have been so weird, it's been a little bit different. So I've currently got four books that I'm redlining. And the podcast is actually as much time as it takes sexual easy because I can batch it. So I'll just say okay, at the end of the recorded buffer is coming up, like when we're recording this, I've got another recording session tonight, because my buffer just ran out. I say at the end of the recorded buffers coming up, take one night to record them all. Then take a day to edit them all and post them and then that's that and but I do a lot of stuff with batch work. So I let you know enough of a pile pile up that I can do it as a project because With the exception of getting in a groove and writing every day, almost everything else I either get bored of or get. It starts to grind on me if it's a chronic thing, but if I have projects I can get through, then that Jazz's me up. SoKevin Tumlinson 22:16yeah, so that's it, you know, are you how much production goes into each of your podcast episodes?J Daniel Sawyer 22:25For the everyday novelist it's about a it's about a two and a half to one timewise. As you can tell, as we're talking here, I have a bit of a scatter shot. I tend to circle a topic before before angling in on it and sometimes there's a lot of stumbling associated with that right right. I like what I'm doing the everyday novelist because it's all improv I like to to narrow the stumbling down as much as possible. So right, it takes about twice as long to cut every episode as the final Listening length winds up being. Okay. So overall, I met including the recording time at about two or three to one production ratio.Kevin Tumlinson 23:10Alright, well alright, that's that makes sense. That's about what it what it takes for me so that I feel a little more comfortable. I am actually because I've been doing some other stuff recently live I'm actually considering shifting the model of this show to being a live format, essentially producing it on the fly. Yeah, it can be fun. It's a little tougher to get certain guests on. But you get the benefit of you know, the production is is done that day.J Daniel Sawyer 23:42Yeah, absolutely dead set out. And I really, I dig doing interview shows that way. When I'm, when I'm doing monologues. I like to massage the timing a lot because that that really helps with the delivery. Yeah, when you've got a conversation going on. The timing emerges from the interaction so you can avoid the editing if you want to.Kevin Tumlinson 24:03Yeah, that's exactly yeah, I like that part where everything is done for me automatically.J Daniel Sawyer 24:10Oh yeah.Kevin Tumlinson 24:12I started my I started this thing called the Kevin show. I don't know if you've seen any of those and they're ridiculous I haven't seen that yet. They're not right.J Daniel Sawyer 24:20They were your YouTube channel. Yeah, yeah. So I started I've got a tab open, but I haven't watched any of them yet.Kevin Tumlinson 24:26Yeah, well, I'm just gonna warn you in advance don't go there hoping for writing wisdom.J Daniel Sawyer 24:34But I figured it's us so it's probably gonna be like RV weird DIY stuff. And strange. There's gonna be all kinds of stuff.Kevin Tumlinson 24:41Yeah. So it started literally that show. So yeah, okay, I'm gonna bring us back around to what we're discussing here. But that show started as me and Nick factor. I said to Nick, you know, when I was so stressed out from the moving from the pandemic from, you know, just being inundated with things So you know, what I would love to do is just do something stupid fun, no agenda, no plan and call it I could call it the Kevin show, because that's ridiculous. And just put it out there live and have fun for 30 minutes, distract people. And he, he said I'd go on that. And so within an hour, I had designed that entire show, from the graphics to music to a video intro to booking my first guest. And the next day it went live. And I've done one every week since so that's dad said, to bring it back to the important thing of this interview, which is you that shows I think that process of the fertile mind, you know, the the fertile mental life that you are, that you are focused on, or would you would you disagree with that? kind of put you on the spot?J Daniel Sawyer 25:56No, no, I think that's a great example to the brain. branching out. It's Oh, I'm trying to think of something pithy to come back to that. But yeah, I think you've got it exactly.Kevin Tumlinson 26:07That's something.J Daniel Sawyer 26:09Life is chaotic, interesting and complicated. And it doesn't easily fit into any of the categories that anybody likes to impose on it. Yeah. And I can't remember who I ran into from it might have been, it might have been something out of one of two labs books. But I came across this idea of it's better to have strong opinions loosely held. Yeah, then then weak, then weak opinions strongly held. Most people have weak opinions strongly held. They have ideas that they like, they can't really support them in in the face of a monumental challenge, but they'll hold on to them for dear life because they're identified with them.Kevin Tumlinson 26:50Exactly. Sort of. Yeah,J Daniel Sawyer 26:52I like that core way. I prefer to be able to articulate what I'm thinking in a very useful strong way, right and be comfortable enough with my own level of ignorance that I can change my opinion when something challenges it and it doesn't, in my opinion doesn't stand up in the teeth of whatever I'm engaging with. As a result of course, I've had multiple interesting worldview shifts over my life. I've been all over the political spectrum. I've had three different religions. And but, but it's but the reason is that, that I'm more interested in figuring out what's actually going on and engaging with life in a in a deep way. And if that's my priority, then what's expendable has to be my determination to cling on to the things that might otherwise make me feel secure.Kevin Tumlinson 27:54Yeah, okay. That is I Exactly. I love the way you have Put that if that is an actual quote, I need to go find it about strong or strong opinions. Loosely held. Yeah, yeah, that's I feel like that's me. And I think I think the danger is people hear strong opinions and then decide. That's where you stand. And so the idea that you might change your mind from a strong opinion, and pivot to a new worldview is is completely foreign to some folks. But I think that's that's the right way to be personally, I like that.J Daniel Sawyer 28:30Yeah. And I do and I mean, one of the things you're, you're like me, you're, you're a little bit north of 30, at least. And one of the things by the time you hit your mid 30s, you realize that whether you want it to or not your worldviews gonna change. Yeah. Because the cumulative experience you build up, gradually goes out of sync with your ideology, whatever ideology that is, because ideologies are models that we build to deal with the world. They're not the world itself and any model is going to have holes in it. Yeah, and the. So when you're in your 20s, it's really easy to righteously hold on to everything because you are fighting for the good. But the older you get, the more that instead of that makes you look, instead of making you impassioned, and a person of great conviction, makes you look kind of stupid. Yeah, because you're not you look vapid and hollow? Well, yeah, because what's happening is while your practical worldview is changing, and you can always tell by the evidence of someone's behavior, rather than what they say, what you believe is reflected in what you do not in what you say. And as you get older, if you're holding on to those, to those early convictions that tightly, the gap between your behavior and your speech will grow. And if you look in the mirror, and all of us eventually do or at least most of us eventually do. You notice that disconnect and that's when you have the existential crisis, who,Kevin Tumlinson 30:02yeah, if you've ever read Carol Dwight's book about my called mindset, it talks about exactly you should tell you, that will probably end up on your list of recommended books, because it talks about that very idea. And it's the closed mindset versus the open mindset, you know, and we tend to look for things that become part of our identity when, especially when we're young, especially when we're vulnerable. Like we're, you know, the bullied high school kid, you know, can say, Well, people pick on me, but at least I'm really good at math. And so if you identify with that, and then you fail a math test,30:40you're crushed, suddenly, yep.Kevin Tumlinson 30:42Your whole identity was just taken for you were murdered, you know, in your, in your own mind. And so you start to think if I don't have that, what am I? Who am I? So anyway, um, so, unfortunately, we are we're closing in on our timeJ Daniel Sawyer 30:58on the end,Kevin Tumlinson 30:59which was is really unfortunate man I always I dig talking to you we know when am I coming back on your show man? I knowJ Daniel Sawyer 31:13whenever it's good for you let me know I would love to have you back on especially now you're working with Jeff to digital. I'd like to Yeah,Kevin Tumlinson 31:19cuz i don't think i was last time wasJ Daniel Sawyer 31:21last time you were last time you wereKevin Tumlinson 31:25completely independent.J Daniel Sawyer 31:26You You were just leaving your first stint at draft to digital I think it wasKevin Tumlinson 31:31no it would have been because I was still Oh yeah, so I was working for DDD, but IJ Daniel Sawyer 31:36stayed with a different position. Oh yeah, I was.Kevin Tumlinson 31:39I was getting on the road though. That's the only guy that would have been. So okay, yeah, so I still fresh it D to D Really? Because that happened like right after. Okay, there we go. That's the you haveJ Daniel Sawyer 31:50this. this. Yeah, the stuff you guys are doing over there, especially now that marks on the team and whatnot has gotten a lot more interesting. I keep signing up for the meetings and then not making them because Everything else in the world that's there recorded I really want.Kevin Tumlinson 32:04I'm gonna have to look back through from my recorded pop into your YouTube channel. Okay, which is officially youtube.com slash c slash draft to digital everyone. And while you're there, look for Kevin Tumlinson and you can tune into the Kevin show xo into plugs but tell everybody the more important URL is where can people find you online?J Daniel Sawyer 32:30You can find me at everyday novelist calm that's for the daily podcast. You can find a whole bunch of my other stuff audio books, full cast audio fiction podcasts, my rather scattered and sometimes very dark musings on the universe on my blog, and a complete list of the books that are available for purchase at the moment as well as my autodidacts reading list at WWW dot JDC. All your.net and I just want a very, very dark take on some of the stuff we were talking about earlier about the changeover and ages. Check out my blog post. The Abyss stares back.Kevin Tumlinson 33:12Yes. Excellent. All right. Well, you heard him everybody. Make sure you check that stuff out, buy his books, go see his stuff. Listen to his podcast. There's a lot you can do to keep him going throw a buck or two his way on Patreon. Let's let's make sure we're taking care of our own here, man. So Jay Daniel Sawyer, sir, thank you so much for being a part of the word slinger podcast.J Daniel Sawyer 33:34Thanks for having me on. It is a delight.Kevin Tumlinson 33:37Everybody else right now. Right now you're probably hearing the groovy bridge music. You may dance in place it will and if you stick around, I am sure to say something profound on the other side, and if I don't make fun of me, see you next time.

You Are the Light of ChristAt the Feet of JesusMatthew 5:14-16Pastor/Teacher: Ken DelageMercy Hill Community Church2020.04.19 Well, good morning, everyone. Thanks for joining us this morning. Open your Bible, if you've got it, to Matthew 5. And if you don't normally attend Mercy Hill, let me just say thank you for being with us this morning. We really see it as one of the silver linings of this time that some folks who aren't, for whatever reason, able to join us in person, have been able to join us online and we're really glad you're here. Perhaps, Lord willing, a few of you would be able to join with us when we do get back together, Lord willing, as soon as He enables that time to come. Total Darkness So, we're in a series going through Jesus’ greatest sermon, His Sermon on the Mount. We're in Matthew 5. We’ll be looking at verse 14, but before I get into it, I just want to welcome another special group of guests who are with us this morning, and that's the kids. Kids, thanks for doing church with us again. You guys are, like, setting records for how many sermons you've listened to in a row. Right? I'm really glad you can be sitting there and listening with Mom and Dad and considering these things together. Hey, I want to start by asking you a question: have you ever been in a cave? Have you ever been, like, in a real cave, like, a deep cave; you go in and go underground? Now, I got to go in a cave a while back with my family; it’s called Grand Caverns. It's in Virginia, but it’s not real close to here. And, you know, you go in and they take you on a tour of this cave, and it is deep. And you walk and walk and walk, and the walls are all rocky and, kind of slimy, kind of wet. Right? And it kind of smells, I don't know, like the underground; whatever that smells like. You know what they did to us? After, like, 20 minutes of walking way deep into this cave, they turned the lights out. Let me tell you what, it was dark. I mean dark. Like, you think it's dark in your room at night, but listen, there was no night light. There was no light down the hall. There was no little glow from the alarm clock or a little moonlight, starlight through the window. We're talking no light. Total darkness. Inky, pitch blackness. You know, that can be kind of scary. All of a sudden you feel, sort of, turned around, isolated, alone. You don't know where to go, what to do. You know, the passage before us, Jesus is talking about darkness, but it's a scarier darkness. it's a deeper darkness. It's a darker darkness, because He's talking about spiritual darkness. But the good news is He's also talking about spiritual light; a better light, a more important light, a more brilliant light than the light that our eyes can see. So, this is good stuff that we get to look at this morning. So, let's begin by just looking at His words together, giving attention to what He said, and then we'll seek to explain it and understand it. So, Matthew 5. We’ll be in verse 14 down through verse 16. Follow along as I read this. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” So, I want us to consider what Jesus said. I'm going to give us an outline that we can, kind of, follow along to help us as we go. The Absence of LightSo, point number one, the absence of light. Jesus uses a couple of word pictures in here to describe what this light is like, and one of them is a word picture of somebody lighting a lamp in a house. Now, you know, we don't light lamps in the house very often anymore, but it's roughly equivalent to turning the light switch on, Right? I mean, you know, they would have a little oil lamp with a little wick. They’d have to actually, physically light it, and having done that, they would not cover it up because that wasn't the point. Right? In the same way, we don't turn a light on and cover it up. In fact, we put lights in the ceiling or up on a stand and it gives light to all in the house. So, why did people a long time ago do this? Because it was dark in the house! Right? I mean some things have changed but some things haven’t. Right? And so, what this is pointing to is the reality that it is dark in the world. If we are called to be lights in the world, the implication of this and the word pictures that Jesus used, is that without the light of Christ in the world, it is dark in the world. Friends, that is a long, solid, and terrible reality. Jesus said He is the light of the world over in John 8: “Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” He is the only light of the world. And if there's a corner of the world, so to speak, where the light is not on, there's not an alternative light. There's no “spiritual match” that can be lit to see dimly. There's no flashlight or, you know, cell phone; where you can turn that little bright light on, on your cell phone. There's no alarm clock by the bed. There's no other source of light in the world, and apart from the light of Christ, it is inky black. It's cave darkness. And this matters. This matters because spiritual darkness obscures the most significant and important realities in life. It obscures things like: why do I exist? What's the meaning of life? What's the purpose of existence? Who am I? Who is God? What is truth? What is eternity? What should I be about in preparing for the end of my days? All of that is lost in darkness when there is no light. All of that is obscured. The Light Inside You So friends, before we get into the main part of the passage, which is the call of Christians to be light, I want to first ask: do you have that light inside of you? Do you have the light of Christ shining in you? Most people, who I'm talking to, can talk well about light. Maybe you've grown up in a Christian home, maybe you’ve been around Christians and you know how to talk the talk, you know how to talk all about light, you’ve heard all about light. Friends, there is a difference between hearing about light and seeing. You know, I watch these YouTube videos—I think they call it a “V-blog”, a video blog—this kind gentleman does, he just kind of tells us about his life, right? And I watch him because he's blind and he's helping sighted people understand what it's like to be blind. And I just find it fascinating to hear about the world as he experiences it. One of the things he talks about is the idea of color and, you know, people told him all about color, so he can tell other people all about color. He can say things like, “The sky is blue,” and, “The Sea can be blue,” and “Ice can be blue,” and, “Eyes can be blue,” you know. He knows all of those true things, but blue he doesn't know. Blue is just a word, just a concept floating out there. He's never seen. He doesn't know. Friends, is the light of Christ a word to you, or is it illuminating you? There is all the difference in the world. Seeing is different than hearing about sight. Looking at the sun is different than having it described to you. Friends, you cannot hope to be a light to others until Christ is the light within you. So friend, if you don't have that light within you, let me encourage you to cry out to God today and ask him to give you the light that you need, that you could see God clearly. Maybe you've experienced it where other people seem so sure, but inside you’re like, “I just don't know. I can't get there.” Call out to Him. We are not the light of the world. We can't make light in our hearts. Jesus is the light of world and He came so that you could see, so that you could have light. So, call out to Him. Ask Him for this. This is a request pleasing to God. He loves to answer these kinds of prayers, so keep asking until he does. And you'll know when He does because you'll see. The Essence of Light Alright. So. good. So, we talked about—the reality of this passage is that it's really calling Christians to be light in the world. Jesus knew that his days on earth were numbered, that He had less than—at least less than—three years at this point of living and ministering, and that He was equipping His disciples to carry His light in them to the world. So what does that even mean? What is light? What is Jesus talking about? Well, that brings us to our second point. So number one, the absence of light. Number two, the essence of light. The essence of light. What is the essence of light? What does Jesus mean? Well, you can see the answer in verse 16 if we read it together. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” There's a parallel in the passage. It says, “let your light shine so that they may see your good works.” Light is good works. What is the light of the believer? It's the life of the believer. It's the life, which is living out good works in the presence of others; good work seen by others. That's light, but okay, but then what are good works? What does Jesus mean there. Well, good works, this is a broad category. This is everything a believer says and does because they're following Jesus. So, everything we would say because we follow Jesus, you know, words of praise and adoration unto God; words of worship unto Him; words of encouragement to those around us; words of love and compassion; words of correction; words in defense of truth; words in defense of the weak; all of these things fall under the broad category of good works, but good works certainly tends towards the action side, doesn't it? It’s works, after all. So, these are works of worship unto God, right? Of time spent in His presence, of sacrificing unto Him. These are actions and works towards our fellow men, of loving those around us; giving generously to those who are in need; defending those who are weak; giving meaningful care to those around us; all of these things are good works that the believer is called to walk. And so, it's, kind of, just living out righteousness, publicly. If you've been with us, you know, we went through the Beatitudes, all of these Beatitudes—being hungry and thirsty for righteousness, being merciful, being pure in heart—all these things lived out in front of others. That's good works. And what the Passion says, is that those works are transformed into light. So, you do something that is a work—you're caring for somebody in need—and that care has a luminescent quality to it. That work tends to turn the light on and people can see differently. Friend, you are called to live a life that is illuminating in a dark world, that's casting light and casting out shadows around you. So, this is what the essence of light is: it is living out good works in a way that's not hiding them, but rather, that’s public, so that others may, in fact, see and give glory to God. The Presence of LightSo that brings us to point number three, the presence of light. So, we've had the absence of light, the essence of light, and now the presence of light. What is the presence of light bring? What is the impact of it? “…let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Let your light shine so they may see. What’s the effect of light? In a word, sight; that's the effect of light so that they may see. Now, what are they going to see? They're going to see your good works, but that's not all they're going to see. Because they see something in your good works—which I find profound and wonderful—they're going to see your good works and give glory to you. No! That's not what they're doing. They're seeing your good works and they're giving glory to your Father in heaven. This is remarkable, because most of those around us have decided that there is no Father in heaven; that God isn't real; that God doesn't exist; that if He does exist, He hasn't made Himself known; you know, all those arguments that are out there in a world which pushes away the knowledge of God. And someone who has spent their life pushing away the knowledge of God and convinced themselves that God isn't real, they see your good works and it is as though a light has turned on, and all of a sudden, “zapped”, is what God is like right there. That's what He's like. He's like that. Oh Glory. Oh, give glory to Him! This is a wonderful reality. See, here's why this functions: because your good works are only partly yours. They're yours in that you do them, but they're His because He empowers them. He empowers all the good works that we do; God's power lies beneath every good work. His goodness flows through every good work. His righteousness is being expressed in your righteousness. When you love, His love is seen. When you care, His care is seen. When you show concern for justice, for the poor, for the weak, then the concern of God is seen for justice and for the poor and for the weak. See, your good works are ultimately His good works. I'll tell you what's true about me. If you see good works in me, you can be sure they didn't start here. You can be sure that those are coming from Him, that all the good that we have comes from Christ. Friends, this goes back to the idea, right? He is the light of the world. So any light worth shining is that light which, ultimately, we’re reflecting from Him. He's the source of light. Friends, Christian, what grace is ours? I mean. come on. Just consider what God has done for us. I mean, it's not like we were the likely candidates for this. It's not like we had a bunch of good works lying around when God came. No! We had a bunch of wicked works. A bunch of sin and shame. Evil. God saved us despite our wicked works and He saved us out of our sin. He saved us by Grace. He rescued us. He redeemed us by his blood. He made us righteous as a gift, for we’re justified. And now, He's kneading that righteousness into the dough of our lives. He's working it out into our lives, such that it's even seen by others. Of course, it's not perfect yet. Of course, we're not always perfect in our good works, in our righteousness, and yet, the Scripture is clear. They exist now and others may see by them (Mt. 5:16). This is a tremendous work of grace! Consider what God has done in you, dear saint, and consider this, that He's not done. Right? As much as He has brought us up out of darkness and into light, oh, so much more awaits. The best is yet to come; for you, for me, for every believer, because we're going to see Him as He is, and we’re going to be like Him, and the light that was just begun in us will be filling us. Holiness will reign in resurrected bodies, in eternity. Glory to God. How good is God to us? What cause of praise and gratitude is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He didn't leave us in darkness. He brought us to light, and He's taking His from one degree of light to another until we are with Him in glory with unveiled faces. Praise be to God. Responding to the CallSo, how would God have us respond to this passage? So, what's the call of this passage? I think the call is relatively easy for us to discern. You pick it up on your first reading, right? We're to be that city on a hill that's not hidden. We're to be that lamp that has been lit and placed, strategically, to give light to all in the house. And then it says, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” So, we're called to let the light of Christ—which He's given to us—shine through us. And I think that's probably the best way to, kind of, summarize it; allow the light of Christ within you to shine through you. Allow the light of Christ within you to shine through you. So, if you're going to allow the light of Christ within you to shine through you, what can we be about? How are you going to do that? Stay Near to ChristTwo thoughts as we close. The first thought: If you're going to allow the light of Christ within you to shine through you, stay near to Christ. Stay near to Him. He is the light of the world. If you want to be giving light to others, you got to be receiving light from Him. Stay near to Him. Draw near to Him each day. We are but dead branches apart from the vine that is Christ. Oh, be connected to that vine on a daily basis, be drawing your life from the vine that is Christ, be drawing the light from the vine that is Christ, that His light would dwell within you. Friends, this is Christianity. This is being dependent on the Holy Spirit every day. We’re not just filled with the Spirit on day one and then we move on; no, we need the Holy Spirit of God every day. If you want to be a light in this world, then the first thing you're going to confront is the darkness that still hides in the corners. Oh, call out to the Spirit of God. Ask Him to be at work within you, illuminating Christ afresh to you day after day after day.Let Your Light ShineAll right, so allow the light of Christ within you to shine through you by, first, saying you’re in Christ and then, second, by not hiding your light. There's the picture in here of putting the light under the basket. I am convinced that this is very tempting for most, or probably all, of us at different times to, in our concern for our own reputations, not want to draw, kind of, uncomfortable attention. And friend, make no mistake; this is not about exalting ourselves and showing off. That's not what this is. There is a “living out loud” that were called to, a working out our salvation in public and in private, wherever we are, simply, consistently, humbly, in a way that does not bring glory to us, but brings glory to your Father who is in heaven. Oh, saints, that is the heartbeat of the believer; to give glory to God who is in heaven. So, don't hide your light. Allow your works of praise to God and love for others to be seen, in season and out of season, wherever you are. You know, we talked a minute ago about all that God has done for us through the gospel. Listen, if you want to be one whose light shines, this comes from the place of gratitude. This comes from the place of amazement at what God has done. All right, so allow the light of Christ within you to shine through you by, first, saying you’re in Christ and then, second, by not hiding your light. Friends, He has done great things for us. Allow that to fuel your heart, your desire to be a light to those around us. That will fuel your desire because you will see others in darkness and you will remember what that's like, and you'll want life for their sake. But friend, it's also going to fuel when you recognize, “Oh, here's an opportunity to give glory to my Father who is in heaven. I could bring glory to Him right now by doing this.” O’ Lord, would you use us? O’ Lord, would you use us to bring glory to your name? Friends, Christian, allow the light of Christ within you to shine through you, because there is this tremendous effect at the end of it. It gives glory to your Father who is in heaven. That's worth it. That's wonderful. That's amazing that sinners like us could be used in that way. Oh, allow the light of Christ within you to shine through, that others may see, that others may have light, that God may receive glory, because our Father who is in heaven, He is worthy of all praise. He is worthy of all honor. He is worthy of all glory. May God be pleased to use us to glorify His great name. Closing PrayerLet's pray. Father, that is our prayer this morning; that you would use us to bring Glory To your great name. Lord, if there's anyone here that doesn't know you, I pray that they would come to see you for the first time. Would you do that? Have them call out to you, humble themselves, call out to you and meet them with the light of the world. And Lord, use us, your people, to bring glory to your name. We are a Spirit-dependent people; we can't do this on our own. We rely upon the light of the world to be life in this world. So, we invite you, Holy Spirit, fill us afresh today Lord, I pray for Mercy Hill. Fill us afresh today and each day, that we would live as lights in the darkness unto your name and your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen. Amen.Friend, great to be with you this morning. Looking forward to the day when we can be in the same place together, but God is good to give us this opportunity; give Him praise for it. May he meet you this week with the light of Christ. Amen.

In this third sermon in our series on the life of Joseph, How Big Is Your God?, Pastor Chris McCool reminds us about the most important question to ask in the midst of either adversity or prosperity: Whose am I? Who do we belong to? As an added bonus in the beginning of this message, Read more about Sermon Series: How Big Is Your God? Part Three – Whose Am I? (Gen. 39)(Elder Chris McCool, December 8, 2019)[…]

Summary Episode 45 The Moment for Mission podcast series seeks to offer inspiration and encouragement in the pursuits of our mission in order to make a difference. Today, I am continuing with part 3 of my reflections on “Your Mission in Times of Uncertainty.” Here are some of the questions I suggested that we ponder during these times of forced sequestration:  Who am I ? Who do I want to be? What do I need to do to go from who I am to who I want to be? Where am I? Where am I heading? What changes to I need to make in order to put my mission as a priority? How can I better involve my team, my family, my community, my faith, in my mission and vision? Resources & Links Here is a link to that epic photo I mentioned.... what a look!  LOL http://momentformission.podbean.com/mf/web/7xmarh/ffsGuitar1.jpg     The book I mentioned, "Back to Basics," is available at this link: https://www.amazon.com/Back-Basics-Complete-Traditional-Skills/dp/1602392331   "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" with Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPCjC543llU   Subscribe  To SUBSCRIBE to Moment for Mission Podcast: Itunes, Spotify, Google, etc. and my website https://www.momentformission.com  Contact To Contact Dr. Fred Foy Strang with your comments and feedback: email: fredfoystrang@momentformission.com message line: (+1) 772-882-7200 Acknowledgements & Legalities Music contained within this podcast has been purchased, played by permission, in the public domain, or used under the “fair use” of the Creative Commons Licensure. Every reasonable attempt has been made to follow legal and ethical protocols in the production of this podcast series. Information and action follows the Podcasting Legal Guide. Acknowledgement: http://wiki.creativecommons.org/Podcasting_Legal_Guide © 2006 Colette Vogele of Vogele & Associates, Mia Garlick of Creative Commons and the Berkman Center Clinical Program in Cyberlaw. Moment For Mission by Fred Foy Strang is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Moment for Mission Podcast @ 2020 Fred Foy Strang, All Rights Reserved.

Who am I? Who are you? Where are we? WHAT IS HAPPENING!? These questions and more will be kinda answered, then more questions will be asked by the end of 2002's THE BOURNE IDENTITY! Listen in as we cover all the lingering mysteries, like: how color worked pre- and post-9/11! Patrick gets too Southern again! So much nards talk! We unintentionally disrespect Roger Donaldson, director of Species! Mark details why he hates red lights! PLUS: WAY TOO MUCH THEATRE TALK! Please subscribe via Apple Podcasts, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can read fly them as the flag for our new micronation! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite Treadstone agent, your least favorite Jeremy Renner, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Who am I? Who are you? Who are we? We are THAT BITCH!! Juku and Baby take a pit stop to chat just between us goyles!

Sara was the baby in her family of four biological half brothers to one another, and one other brother who was also adopted like her just like her. When she hit puberty, a naturally more emotional time in our lives, she lost her grandmother, someone who never made her feel like an adoptee. She found her way out of the darkness from a suicide attempt and substance addiction, but still she hadn’t escaped depression. When she found her biological mother things started out well, but they turned grim when Sara caught the woman in lies about her biological father’s identity. In the end, her journey has taken a turn for the positive, but she lost many relationships that were important to her along the way. Still, Sara says she has no regrets.   The post Who Am I...Really? Podcast (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com) . Sara ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.16) ): So for two years I'm believing he's my father. My kids finally meet them. We spend holidays, everything together, but something in my head saying really, really small. What if he's not your father? Voices ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=23.43) ): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.58) ): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Damon ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=49) ): Hey, it's Damon, and on the show today, I'm joined by Sarah. Sarah has lived in Indianapolis all of her life and all of her life, she's known she was an adoptee. In her family, there were six siblings, four older boys who are not adoptees and one brother who is also an adoptee and then Sara, the baby in the family. She said that even though she grew up with the knowledge that she was an adoptee, she had it very rough in her teenage years because she is adopted. Sarah battled depression, faced post traumatic stress disorder and even attempted suicide. She says she carried the emotional baggage of being adopted with her until she finally started to do something about it and search for her biological family. Her journey began with tremendous luck in finding her family very quickly, thanks to the great work of search angels. But her luck didn't hold out as lies were uncovered. And a DNA test proved that the man whom she thought was her biological father really was not. Here's Sarah's journey. Damon ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=111.59) ): Sarah says she was the baby in her family of four biological half-brothers to one another and one other, a brother, who was also adopted just like her Sara ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=120.24) ): For starters, Um, it's kind of cool in a sense. I'm the only girl, so I was very, very spoiled in that sense. Um, having all older brothers, I'm not the only adoptee, the youngest boy, he's also adopted, but we're not related at all. So that was something always cool to grow up with that we can relate to each other in that sense of both being adopted. Growing up wise, I'd say in a city, I didn't know anyb,ody at all, like myself besides my brother who was adopted. That's all my friends, they're...

Brandon A.:                        People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. Simon Sinek. Brandon A.:                        I am Brandon Anderson and I'm a Tri-Cities influencer. Paul Casey:                         Remember, you're either owning your behavior or excusing your behavior. You can't do both. So it's always the mature thing to do, to own it. Announcer:                        Raising the water level of leadership in the Tri-Cities of Eastern Washington, it's the Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast. Welcome to the TCI Podcast, where local leadership and self-leadership expert, Paul Casey, interviews local CEOs, entrepreneurs, and nonprofit executives, to hear how they lead themselves and their teams, so we can all benefit from their wisdom and experience. Here's your host, Paul Casey of Growing Forward Services, coaching and equipping individuals and teams to spark breakthrough success. Paul Casey:                         Thanks for joining me for today's episode with C.A. Hurst. C.A. is a youth advocate and a professed professional dot connector. So, we can't go any further, C.A., with you without you explaining that. C.A. Hurst:                           Okay well, hey first, thank you, Paul. I'm really happy to be here. And yeah, professional dot connector. What does that mean? What on earth am I talking about? What it means is, I see connections between resources and needs and also see connections between people and other people. And years ago, I started kind of developing this, not consciously, but it just kind of happened. And what I've learned over time is that, especially in our world today where we're all connected so much, that's really a cool skill to have. Paul Casey:                         It is, it is. Well, we'll dive in after checking with our Tri-City Influencer's sponsors. Neal Taylor:                        Hello, my name is Neal Taylor. I am the managing attorney for Gravis Law's commercial transactions team. The CT team helps business owners, investors, and entrepreneurs accelerate and protect their business value. Today, we're talking about employment law and alcohol and cannabis licensing. Josh Bam and Derek Johnson are both here with me now to describe those practice areas. Take it, Derek. Derek Johnson:                 Thanks, Neal. I'm Derek Johnson, partner at Gravis Law. We find that many employers in Washington State simply don't have handbooks, employee policies, or any other written materials to protect themselves and their employees. Without having these types of policies in place, an employer can run into trouble by firing employees, even if the employee isn't properly performing or are causing issues at work. Even if an employer fires someone for performance issues, for example, but fails to take the proper steps, they may run into trouble by inadvertently exposing themselves to a wrongful termination suit. We build strong, predictable, and protective employee policies to protect our clients' business. Josh Bam:                            That's true. Thanks, Derek. And having employment policies in place when you're dealing with cannabis or alcohol licensing is especially important. We know that clean employment policies, clean corporate structure, and having an attorney that can work with the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board is critically important to protecting your business through licensing. The attorneys at Gravis Law have this experience. Visit us today at www.GravisLaw.com. Paul Casey:                         Thank you for your supportive leadership development in the Tri-Cities. Well, welcome again, C.A. I was privileged to meet you, we just figured it out, it was over 10 years ago at a young professionals networking event and neither of us were young at the young professionals event, which I think was pretty funny. C.A. Hurst:                           I think we were the two oldest guys there. Paul Casey:                         I think we were. And what was cool, even though they probably looked at us strange was that we both wanted to give back. And we were there to be, if anybody wanted any kind of mentoring or, we're just both learners too. So whoever was teaching whatever, we wanted to be in the room. So, that was a pretty cool connection. And to stay connected throughout the years via social media and books that we've read has been really a joy. So that our Tri-City influencers can get to know you, take us through your past positions that sort of led up to what you're doing now. C.A. Hurst:                           Oh, man. Okay. Well, I'll try to keep this short because I got like 40 years worth of stuff. Paul Casey:                         Sure, sure. Yeah. C.A. Hurst:                           So, in 1970... Paul Casey:                         I was born in a hospital. C.A. Hurst:                           Okay, so, in 1970, in July of that year, this is like the year, the summer before December, after I graduated from high school, before I started college, I had a massive born-again experience. There was a little church in, well, actually Washington, called Bethesda Christian Center. That was part of the Jesus people movement. They're just young people coming in. And they really didn't know what to do with us because we were just responding to their openness to loving us, right? Anyway, so I had this massive born-again experience in the summer of 1970. And then I spent my first year of college at Central Washington State College at that time, now a university. So that fall, I had dived into reading the Bible because I'd never read it before. And so I was hungry, hungry, hungry. I'd taken a study break. I was in one of the little parks near the dorms there at Ellensburg, sitting under a tree. C.A. Hurst:                           I'm not sure I could find the same tree, but I know I remember this because I was reading in Ephesians about, "And God gave some to be apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers." I hit pastors and teachers and I got this little thing in my heart that said, "Yeah, that's you." I said, "Oh yeah, really? I don't think so." So I responded to that, though that's where that started. And finished out my year at Central. C.A. Hurst:                           Then the next year, I was doing Bible college stuff in Wenatchee. And I eventually, then when I graduated from there, as you and I were talking a little earlier, I ended up on staff at Faith Assembly here in the Tri-Cities, way back when, in the '70s when they were in the building that now houses the Hungry Generation Church. So, cool stuff there. But through a number of events, just life events, I ended up needing to reinvent myself. My ex-wife and I had ended up in Montana. We started a church there. Then we separated in 1990. And that began kind of an interesting roller coaster for me of reinventing myself and reinventing myself again and again and again in truth, figuring out how to take all the skills that I had learned as a youth pastor and a pastor and a founding pastor, taking those skills and interpreting them for the secular world, which is a huge challenge. C.A. Hurst:                           Eventually, I ended up in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The highlights there is I was the program director for Residential Treatment Center, horribly damaged young people. Really cool experience because I was able... we as a team of, my guys and gals that work with me, we were really able to touch some of those lives and help them. And then I spent eight-and-a-half years as a counselor at the Albuquerque Job Corps Center. We had a capacity for over 400 students, 8 counselors on staff, so everybody had at least 50 students on our caseload at all times. Paul Casey:                         Wow. C.A. Hurst:                           If somebody got sick or was out for a while, at one point in time, we were down four of us. So we all had a hundred kids on our caseloads every day, all day, every day. And we got really good at what we did. I spent a year and a half as the counseling manager. The job of a counselor at the Job Corps Center is to actually protect a student from the bureaucracy. That's a government program. But then a counseling manager then, once you bump up, now you're protecting both the kids and the counselors. So I kind of rubbed everybody, I rubbed the upper management, the wrong way for too long. Paul Casey:                         You contrarian, you. C.A. Hurst:                           So, anyway, I need to brief this up. At this point in time, the last time I counted, I reinvented myself either in a small way or a large way about 37 times. Paul Casey:                         Wow. C.A. Hurst:                           But out of all of that, what I've learned to do is morph and to figure out how to function in our world today. So, it's been a weird ride but it's bearing good fruit. Paul Casey:                         Yeah. Yeah. That reinvention is so critical. Some people go their whole lives without reinvention and you've done it 37 times. I did it for my first time following a divorce as well, over 13 years ago. And it sort of hits you in the face and you're just like, "Okay, I can stay down and wallow in this tragedy or I can reinvent myself." Every time you pick yourself back up and reinvent yourself, I tried, I did thirteen, no, it was 11 things. And it wasn't magic. 11, right? I don't know why, it's not even a round number. Paul Casey:                         But listeners, if you ever want those 11 things of how to recover from a traumatic experience in your life, I'd be happy to send those to you. But looking back, it's like I needed all of those habits, those new habits in my life. That's when I started playing golf. That's when I got more male friends. It was just like, there's just so many different things that happen on the other side of that. So, in your life, what do you feel like you're very good at, like what are your talents, your strengths, and how do you use those on a day-to-day basis to be successful and help others be successful? C.A. Hurst:                           Okay. So, when people ask me what I do, what I really do, my life calling, is working with young people. That's where I've been for the past, going on 50 years. I am so proud of that. On next year, 2020, that it will be 50 years since I actually started counseling with people and doing that kind of thing. And my specialty area has been young people. When I was working at Faith Assembly, we ended up doing a lot of outreach to young people here on the Tri-Cities, and of all different walks of life but especially the kids that nobody wants, and nobody wanted then and they still don't want them. I do. I do. I didn't have a clue what to do with them when I started, because I was like 20-something. And I would spend a lot of time praying about, "Hey, God, so what do we do with this guy?" And I don't have a clue. C.A. Hurst:                           And the answer was always the same, just love him. Or if it was a gal, just love her. Just accept them the way they are. So, that's the biggie for me. That's the undercurrent of everything that I do. That's what I do. So, that gives me context for everything else that I've studied over the past 40 years. See, you already know that I'm a huge reader. Paul Casey:                         Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. C.A. Hurst:                           Right? And one of the coolest things that's happened in our world in the past 10, 15 years is that, because of social media, because of all of the high-tech communication stuff we've had, the people who write and people who are thought leaders have a much easier time sharing what it is that they know. So, I've still got that young person perspective, but because of my age and because I've had to reinvent myself 37 times and because I have been desperately scrambling for answers, I've read. Just read and read and read and read and read and read and read, and without trying to be proselytizing anybody, done a lot of praying like, "Hey, God, what's next? Where do I, where, where, where? And so, what I've learned is the most important person to learn how to lead is me. Paul Casey:                         Yep. C.A. Hurst:                           That I've had to learn how to lead myself from, "Okay, here's where I am. This is not working, so I need to do something else. Where do I go from here? Where do I go from here? Where do I go from here?" And honestly, that to me is probably the very most important thing that any adult could possibly learn in our world today. In fact, as a parent, I would encourage people to begin shifting our thinking and teaching their children that same kind of a thing. Just learning how to be self-reliant, learning how to be entrepreneurial, even if you're going to work for somebody else, still consider yourself an entrepreneur- Paul Casey:                         If anything, could be an intrepreneur, right? C.A. Hurst:                           An intrepreneur, whatever you want to call it. But really developing you, and your own unique abilities. So, I would say one of my unique abilities is communicating. I've always loved to write, and I've done more writing in the last, oh, five, no, six, seven, eight, eight years, about eight years with Facebook. Nobody's going to tell you you can't. You might get a couple of shots across the bow for what you write, but you can go ahead and write. So, I've been really having a lot of fun with that. Paul Casey:                         Yeah, you have. So, I'm hearing you're a lover, a learner, and a writer. C.A. Hurst:                           There we go. Thank you. That works. Paul Casey:                         Core value of love, core value of just constant personal and professional improvement. And then, the writing or adding value to others. So on the flip side, what would you consider one of your biggest liabilities? And how do you mitigate that so it doesn't limit your influence? C.A. Hurst:                           My greatest is, I've learned this in this last six months, that my greatest liability is, even though I've been a very strong advocate for others my entire adult life, I haven't done a very good job of advocating for myself. So, I've been learning a lot about that over the past six months. And I've also, oh, asking for help. Paul Casey:                         Asking for help. C.A. Hurst:                           Asking for help. Do you know who Brene Brown is? Paul Casey:                         Oh, yeah. C.A. Hurst:                           Okay. So, have you read Daring Greatly? Paul Casey:                         Yes and Dare to Lead, her newest one too. C.A. Hurst:                           Okay, yeah, we're reading Dare to Lead right now. So, Daring Greatly, I read that, oh, about eight months ago. And now here I am, I ended up, recently I'd had a little toe of my left foot amputated. It was in June of this year, and I needed help. I needed help from people that I've known for years and I've needed help from our community. And it's embarrassing to ask for help, especially as guys, it's embarrassing to ask for help because we're trained not to. Then yeah, "We want you to be in touch with your feminine side," Brene Brown. "We want you to be in touch with your feminine side." Go ahead, try that out. I dare you. Let's see what happens. Oh yeah, now you're really going to get beat up anyway. So that's what I've really learned over the past several months. I've just not been good at asking for help when I've needed it. Paul Casey:                         And yet it's a strength, not a weakness at its core, right? Because we're robbing other people of the blessing of what they've been wired to do, which could be to help us at this moment to get us unstuck or to that next opportunity. So when we go, no, I'm going to pull myself up with my bootstraps and be self-sufficient, we actually rob others of the opportunity to give. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah, there's that balance of being self-sufficient and then knowing when to ask for help. Paul Casey:                         Yes. C.A. Hurst:                           Not codependent. Nobody is truly independent. Paul Casey:                         Right. C.A. Hurst:                           What we need to be, interdependent. Paul Casey:                         Interdependent, I love that word. I love that word. Totally believe that and that's a core value for sure. And what I love is that as an amputee... Amputay? C.A. Hurst:                           Amputee. Paul Casey:                         Yes. You have not made that a liability in your life. You said you surrounded yourself with a community of others who have gone through that, that only you guys can really understand. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah, yep. Paul Casey:                         You're not letting that hold you back. I mean, it holds you back physically. You probably do way more if you could but you're not letting that hold you back from your influence. C.A. Hurst:                           You're right. And one of the biggest lessons I've learned, I've always known that the value of being quiet, I've learned that way back when, when I was going to Bible college, that kind of thing. Just one of those things that they taught us, sit down and shut up, sit down- Paul Casey:                         Seen and not heard. C.A. Hurst:                           And listen. God's trying to speak to you but you're so busy running around and you're making so much noise, you can't hear what he's saying because oh, when he speaks, it's with that little still small voice. Paul Casey:                         Yeah. Yes. C.A. Hurst:                           So this last, actually, it's the last several years, I've ended up spending a lot more time being ultra-quiet than I ever wanted to, on the one hand. On the other hand, that has been yielding the coolest stuff I've ever learned in my entire life, that you know that. And also, the biggie has been, I got you. I got, I got you. You're okay. I got you. Because, so, I got my leg amputated, my right leg amputated below the knee when I was 59 years old. You get kind of attached to a leg after 59 years. Paul Casey:                         I would think so, yes. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, all of a sudden, it's not there and you are in another universe. There's just no way to describe it. It's like, where am I? Who am I? Honest to God is, who am I? I woke up from the surgery and it was gone. I don't even know who I am anymore. Paul Casey:                         It cuts your identity. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah, it does. It just... So I've ended up spending a lot more time being a lot more quiet than what I thought I should be. It's like, I need to be doing this and I need to be doing that. I need to be... And that's been part of what God has been speaking to me. It's like, no, no, I got you. Just shut up. Paul Casey:                         Yeah. C.A. Hurst:                           Just chill out, dude. You know? I got you. It's okay. Paul Casey:                         Yeah. That reassurance is amazing. Also, I think the breakthrough has really happened in solitude. And because where we surround ourselves with our distractions and our noise and we get in the car and my last car, the radio just popped on automatically. It's just like we're just surrounded by so much noise and we can't be creative. We can't have those breakthroughs of what's next. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah, we do need to get quiet. In fact, one of the greatest concerns I've had over the past couple of years, and then actually over the past several months, is that with social media, everybody has a voice, which is really, really cool. However, extroverts being extroverted, I liken it to be in a band. I'm a bassist. My job is to be in the background. Okay, I'm not a lead guitarist. The lead guitarist's job is to be in the foreground or the vocalists or whatever, right? Oh, I liken it to the lead guitarist because the extroverts are lead guitarists, or vocalists, so they're always encouraging everybody to be a lead guitar. So it's like, "No, no, no, no, no. No, no, we just need one." Paul Casey:                         You wouldn't have a band. C.A. Hurst:                           We love you to pieces. And we love what, we love those riffs but we only need one of you. So we've thought, "Well, you're talking about all the noise. That's what I'm hearing out here on social media land is just that overwhelming, you got to be on 24-7, 365. You've got to hustle and grind 24-7, 365. It's totally unsustainable. I get it. I get it, I get it. Especially if you're in your 20s or 30s, you need to be out there hustling and you need to figure out what that's all about, and you need to be staying up late at night, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading- Paul Casey:                         Did you say reading? C.A. Hurst:                           Studying, digging, doing all of that stuff. But then as you get a little bit older, then you need to take all this stuff that you've been studying and you need to begin to mold something that's more sustainable, that you can teach to other people, that you can look to other people and say, "Listen, here's what happens when you do all of this study and all this reading." What you're doing is, you're growing roots. And you want to grow a strong, complex, sustainable root system so that when the storms of life come along, not if, but when, because it is going to happen, that then rather than that or that rather than breaking, you're going to bend and sway and you're actually going to become stronger through those storms. C.A. Hurst:                           But you have to take time to grow that root system. And that's what you do in your late teens, early 20s and to your 30s. But then you need to be able to start kind of mellowing out a little bit. And let me use Eric Clapton. Okay. So, if you listen to Eric Clapton playing with Cream, way back when, well, in the '60s, right? And you listened to him in the '90s, whatever. He just matured. And so he still plays brilliantly, but it's got a different flavor to it. It's like a fine wine. Paul Casey:                         There you go. C.A. Hurst:                           Mellows. Paul Casey:                         Yes. C.A. Hurst:                           That the taste mellows and that's what you want. Paul Casey:                         So you've got the root system metaphor. You've got the wine metaphor, Eric Clapton metaphor. Woo. C.A. Hurst:                           I got them all, man. I've been doing this a long time. Paul Casey:                         You came at it three different ways. Well, hey, before we head into our next question on a few of C.A.'s life hacks, let's shout out to our sponsors. Paul Casey:                         The C12 Group is a national organization focused on spiritual and professional development of Christian CEOs and business owners. Members participate in professionally facilitated monthly meetings, during which 12 experienced Christian CEOs exchange ideas to solve business issues biblically. Additionally, members receive a 90-minute personal coaching session each month. Information is available from Tom Walther at (715) 459-9611 or online at C12EasternWa.com. Paul Casey:                         So, C.A., what are a few of your life hacks that help you be successful on a daily basis? C.A. Hurst:                           One of my buddies, online, is a guy by the name of Tim Sanders, who was Yahoo's chief solutions officer way back when, when they were the thing, right? He wrote a book called Love Is The Killer App, and a bestseller, and I got acquainted with Tim through Dan Pink, who's another best-selling author. And I connected with him. He wrote a book several years ago called, Today We Are Rich. So, number one life hack, feed your mind good stuff. He has an entire chapter. He opens with intros, it's a couple, three chapters of just kind of background stuff. Then his first main chapter is that feed your mind good stuff. And that life hack right there, that has literally saved my life over and over and over and over and over again. That's it. I mean it's so, it's not complicated. C.A. Hurst:                           We live in what's called a knowledge society. So, everybody is a professional whether they want to be or not. Everybody. It's like, guys, this is where we're at. So, if you pay attention to what you allow in your heart, your mind, your soul, your spirit, then you're going, whatever comes along, you're going to be able to fight back. You're going to be able to push back. Let me talk a little bit about being an amputee. Depression. You ain't lived until you're missing part of your body. You can't get away from it. You can't, you're depressed, and you can't get away from it. And you can either give up or you can get up, one or the other. What enables you to get up is what you've been feeding into your heart, your soul, your mind, your spirit. C.A. Hurst:                           So that's my number one life hack is that. Feed your mind good stuff. And then honestly, everything else just kind of flows out of that. I think in numbers. A number two life hack would be, stay connected with other people. Figure out how to keep those connections happening because we need each other. Even those times when we are just all grumped out and we want to be by ourselves. That's okay for a while. But then you got to get back in there and you need to reconnect with other people and let them, as you were saying earlier, let them give back into you. Paul Casey:                         Sure, sure. Yeah, I love that crucible moment that they give up or get up. The key thing that tips you to the getting up is feeding yourself that positive input every single day. C.A. Hurst:                           Well, yeah. Here's what's cool. I've been doing that for years now. Years and years and years and years, right? So, it runs on autopilot. Sometimes you have, when you started, when you start a good habit, you have to fight for it. Paul Casey:                         Yep. C.A. Hurst:                           Okay. But once you get it established, after whatever length of time it takes, it takes on a life of its own. Paul Casey:                         It does. It does. Yeah, there's four habits that I do every day. I get eight hours of sleep every day. These are all my wellness habits. I read the Bible every day. I read professionally every day, like you're saying, and I exercise every day. And I don't have to think about any of those four because they become so ingrained in my life that I'll feel like, if I go too long without that, something's missing. Right? C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah. Yeah, and you... Paul Casey:                         That's like, I crave it. Yeah, I crave it so much because it's... But a new habit coming into your life, whether that's flossing or something else that you know is good for you, it does take work. And it's the 21 days, there's not a real thing. Sometimes it takes a long time to do that. So before you make an important decision, C.A., what process do you think through in your life so that you make more good calls than bad calls? C.A. Hurst:                           The reason I'm being all quiet and kind of thinking is that the last several years had been so crazy, and that I've had a lot of decisions made for me. It's super, I don't, I'm not going to say scary because it's not scary, it's terrifying. But in a more normal setting, the stuff that I am, essentially, like the feed your mind good stuff. I'm always thinking about, what's the best thing to do that's going to benefit the most people, the most beneficially? Paul Casey:                         Yeah, yeah. C.A. Hurst:                           That's the way that I'm made. And then I begin to work out from that. It's like, "Okay, what do I need to do? What's my..." And I think of it as kind of mental or emotional reading and I go way out and say, "Okay, this is where we could go with this. Okay, now let's come all the way back in. And let's figure out-" Paul Casey:                         What's that next step to get there, yeah. C.A. Hurst:                           What's the very first tiny little step that I can take right now? Right now in order to get that process happening, because once we make that first tiny little step, then we begin to... Then we see the next tiny little step. Until we make that step, we can't see the next step. Paul Casey:                         That's right. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "You can't see the whole staircase." C.A. Hurst:                           Exactly. Paul Casey:                         You just can only see that next step. C.A. Hurst:                           Exactly. Yeah. Well, and a young guy named Richie Norton, I was on the launch team for his book, The Power of Starting Something Stupid. His brother-in-law, Gavin passed away at the age of 21. A year or so later, he and his wife Natalie had a baby that they named Gavin after her brother. He caught whooping cough. They're living in Hawaii. He got whooping cough and he died at the age of 76 days. Paul Casey:                         Oh. C.A. Hurst:                           So, and what Richie has incorporated into his life is what he calls Gavin's law, that you live to start and start to live. And he said, "I can get anything done at 76 days." That's what he does. He gives himself, he'll create a project that takes 76 days. To live to start, start to live. Paul Casey:                         What a great motto. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah. What's cool about Richie is that he lives it and he has been living it. And it works. Paul Casey:                         To take something traumatic and turn that into a mantra. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah. Paul Casey:                         Or these 76-day chunks of life. Because sometimes, we underestimate how much we can get done in 76 days. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah. Paul Casey:                         We overestimate how much we can get done in one day. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah. Paul Casey:                         But in 76 days, you can make a lot of difference. C.A. Hurst:                           Oh yeah. You can, especially if you shift your mindset to that. Paul Casey:                         Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So when you've lived your life, C.A., and you think back on your influence, how do you want to be remembered? It's a legacy question. C.A. Hurst:                           Simple, a simple thing. "He made a difference." Paul Casey:                         "He made a difference." Love to see that on my tombstone too. C.A. Hurst:                           Yeah. Paul Casey:                         They used to have those Tombstone Pizza commercials. "What do you want on your tombstone?" I think that's actually a pretty profound slogan. C.A. Hurst:                           He made a difference. Paul Casey:                         He made a difference. Well, finally, what advice would you give to new leaders or anyone who wants to keep growing and gaining more influence? C.A. Hurst:                           Read. Paul Casey:                         I sort of knew you were going to say that. C.A. Hurst:                           Well yeah, it's like at this point, because... My buddy, I call him my buddy, Lou is. Actually Lou Wen, Louie Wen, Ph.D., psychologist, whom I met at the Albuquerque Job Corps Center when I was on staff there. And he worked with one of my students one day. It was about six weeks after I'd been there. And he absolutely changed this young woman's life in 30 minutes, helped her see what was going on, and she wept cathartic tears. Walked out of my office, a changed young woman. So I looked at him, as soon as she closed the door, I looked at him and said, "Okay, what is it that you know that I don't know?" What he said was, "I have a book I want you to read." And his book called Warm Logic. C.A. Hurst:                           And then Lou and I are still close friends, but he was the center mental health consultant for the Albuquerque Job Corps Center. He was there, he'd be there usually two or three days a week. And every time he saw me, the very first thing he'd ask me is, "What are you reading?" What are you reading? And again, because of the world we live in today, that is, honestly, that is the very most important habit to develop as a leader. Another one of my author buddies, again, Tim Sanders, "Readers make the best leaders." Paul Casey:                         Amen. C.A. Hurst:                           You can go through history. Everybody that's been a great leader has been a reader. If you want to lead, there are certain things you have to do. Paul Casey:                         And that's one of them. C.A. Hurst:                           Reading is number one, not number two, I mean, seriously. That's number one. Paul Casey:                         Yeah. So, I'm just going to ask you this on the fly here. Would you be willing to write up your book list for our listeners that I could post on our Facebook page sometime? C.A. Hurst:                           Sure. Paul Casey:                         Now, that would be phenomenal. Because we can go a whole nuther half hour on just the books that we would recommend leaders to read. C.A. Hurst:                           Oh, yeah. Easily. Paul Casey:                         But how can our listeners best connect with you, C.A.? C.A. Hurst:                           They can, honestly, the best way to connect with me is on Facebook. I've used that. That's my primary social media platform. It works for me. I try to stay away from the ultra controversial stuff. And it's just a capital C, capital A squished together, no periods, because Facebook won't let me use them. And then H-U-R-S-T. If people know who I am, my picture is my profile picture. So, I'm pretty recognizable. That's the simplest way. Paul Casey:                         Okay. Very cool. C.A. Hurst:                           Or they can text me. (509) 420-3515. Paul Casey:                         Awesome. Well, thanks again for all you do to make the Tri-Cities a great place. C.A. Hurst:                           Well, thank you, sir. Paul Casey:                         Keep leading well. Let me wrap up our podcast today with a leadership resource to recommend. It's QuoteInvestigator.com, QuoteInvestigator.com. And if you want to look for a cool mantra for your life, it's called Just For Today. And a gentleman wrote a, it's almost a little poem and there's about 10 to 12 lines of Just For Today. "I will try to live through this day only." And it talks about generosity and reaching out to others and putting yourself in that mental right state for the rest of the day. So, I found it through QuoteInvestigator.com and maybe that will be inspirational for you today. Again, this is Paul Casey and I want to thank my guest, C.A. Hurst, the dot connector, for being here today on the Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast. We want to thank our TCI sponsors and invite you to support them. We appreciate you making this possible so we can collaborate to help inspire leaders in our community. Paul Casey:                         Finally, one more leadership tidbit for the road to help you make a difference in your circle of influence. It's Theodore Roosevelt. He says, "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." Until next time, KGF, keep growing forward. Announcer:                        Thank you to our listeners for tuning in to today's show. Paul Casey is on a mission to add value to leaders by providing practical tools and strategies that reduce stress in their lives and on their teams, so that they can enjoy life and leadership and experience their key desired results. If you'd like more help for Paul in your leadership development, connect with him at growingforward@paulcasey.org, for a consultation that can help you move past your current challenges and create a strategy for growing your life or your team. Paul would also like to help you restore sanity to your crazy schedule and get your priorities done everyday by offering you his free Control My Calendar checklist. Go to www.takebackmycalendar.com for that productivity tool. Or open a text message to 72000 and type the word, growing. Paul Casey:                         The Tri-Cities Influencer Podcast was recorded at Fuse SPC by Bill Wagner of Safe Strategies.  

Katelyn followed her older adopted sister into rebellion against their adopted mother’s rule. Years later her husband suggested they do DNA tests when she got pregnant. Seeing relationships online she hadn’t considered before, she searched for her birth parents, uncovering family secrets and helping other adoptees in the family tree find theirs. At times, the search left Katelyn very puzzled, even totally dejected. She found her birth mother and sisters happy to meet her, and her birth father in prison. (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.73)                I was never asked about my adoption in any depth it was mentioned, but I always feel like my therapies were like, how do we fix Katelyn now, to make her okay with her environment or how do we fix her so that she can go home and her parents can manage her? It was never like, what’s going on with you? How were you feeling? What can we do to make your life better? Voices:                         (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.9)                Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am? Who am I? Damon:                        (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.17)                This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Katelyn. When I spoke to her, she was living in New York City planning a move to northern Virginia. Well, what you’re about to hear is her story of rebellion against her mother’s rule when they lived in Pennsylvania and her eventual investigation into her roots in Florida and South Carolina. At times the search left, Katelyn very puzzled and even totally dejected. After an intensive search, she found her birth mother and sisters and her birth father in prison. I hope you’ll forgive the audio on this episode. This is Katelyn’s journey. The first five years of Katelyn’s life were picture perfect. Her parents had been married for quite a while and struggled with infertility when they decided to adopt through Catholic charities. Katelyn had an older adopted sister, but she wasn’t nearly as curious about adoption as Katelyn. Unfortunately, Katelyn’s parents divorced when she was about six. Katelyn:                        (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=119.24)                around the age of eight or so. My mom gave me an envelope. I had my non identifying information in it. I think I was about eight, yeah. My sister adoption was with a lawyer and her mother was a teenager. That’s literally all that we know, but my mother was older, and put in a lot of information apparently. Of course, you never know if that information is true or false. There was something that gave me a sense of what was possible. It was fairly detail....

Vonni learned from the neighbor’s child that she was adopted, but she was too young to know what it really meant. In her teen years, the yearning to understand her adoption led her on a journey an hour away to the adoption agency for her non-identifying information. It contained a horrible terrible story, that seemed to be questionable according to the social worker who documented her adoption. In the years that followed, Vonni continued to drive a long way to search the yearbook archives for her birth mother, only to be linked with her birth father first. When she found him he wasn’t interested in knowing Vonni, until his fond memories of her birth mother kicked in and they figured out she was a different daughter than he thought. He identified Vonni’s biological mother, and within months Vonni had met both parents.   Read Full TranscriptVonnie:                       00:05               I was, I was having such a great relationship with my dad, my bio dad that I, and I told him too. I said, you know, I found her and I said, I don’t even know if I’m going to call her because after meeting him it was enough. I didn’t feel like I needed her anymore. Damon:                       00:29               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Vonnie. She called me from Lincoln, Nebraska, where she shared her story of life and adoption as a teenager. Vonnie ventured in our, from her home to the adoption agency that placed her to try to understand more about herself in her non identifying information. She learned a terrible story that seemed to be questionable according to the social worker in the years that followed, she continued to drive a long way to search the yearbook archives for her birth mother. When she found her birth father, he wasn’t interested in knowing her until his fond memories of her birth mother kicked in. He identified the woman and within months Vonnie had met them both. This is Vonnie’s journey. Damon:                       01:34               Vonnie and her younger brother were both adopted, but they’re not biological to one another, so she grew up fairly comfortable with the notion of adoption. Interestingly, she found out that she was adopted by accident when she was four years old, but she didn’t quite know what it meant. Vonnie:                       01:50               My little neighbor friend next door who was six, we moved into the neighborhood about a year before my parents built the house and we were playing one day and he said, “you’re adopted”. And I was like, no, I didn’t know what it meant. And I was just like, okay. And then I didn’t think anything of it and a couple of hours later he came back over and crying and he said, “I’m sorry, I said you were adopted.” So he must have gone home and told his mom, you know what he said, and she said, you can’t say that or whatever. She said. And he came back and apologized and I just remember thinking that’s okay. Still not knowing what it meant....

Mack Stiles started the first session off explaining the Gospel of Christ using four helpful questions to help the audience break it down. The questions Mack asked were not only for the students attending who have never heard the Gospel, but also the students who have heard it and need to teach it to themselves. Believers of Jesus Christ are encouraged to never stop preaching the Gospel to themselves. Who is God? What does the Bible say about Him?Who am I?Who is Christ? What did he do for me?How do I respond?To briefly summarize the answers to these questions; it is important to look at what perspective we are answering them from. Often times people will try to answer the questions above from our own personal experiences or views. This way of thinking is faulty.Final thoughts: Mack gave some really neat perspective for what living in this world is like. He compared it to living in a shipwreck; you will find much treasure (worldly pleasures) and much brokenness on the ship. This is not the way it is supposed to be. As we look at these treasures, we must remember the reality of Satan’s deception. He will minimize our sin, lie, and promise untrue things. Satan over promises and under delivers. The sin of disbelief, not believing who God says He is is what ultimately plagues us in our walk with God. To believe the truths God reveals to us, we must continue preaching the Gospel to ourselves. Ask yourselves these questions and search for the truths in God’s Word. Jesus was our ransom, which means we were kidnapped by Satan (Romans 5:12), but Jesus gave his life as a ransom or a payment for our bondage. This sets us free. The cross was not plan B, it was plan A (1 Corinthians 15:21).

Tim was adopted into a Lutheran family and his curiosity about his roots started when he was very young. When he met his biological mother, she portrayed her husband as Tim’s father, but the truth came out when her daughters suggested a different version of the truth. It wasn’t until Tim’s early 70’s that he made paternal links and solved the mysteries of his life Read Full TranscriptTim:                            00:01               So they were staying with me and then they brought me along to the convention, into the Party afterwards and brought me to the party and these are old friends of theirs saying, well, who is this? Who is this? And again, they played the kind of joke routine, oh, he’s the, he’s relative doesn’t he, look like us, don’t you think he looks like us then. And then there was a lot of laughter and that crossed the line. That was one of the lower points of this whole thing for me. Intro voices:                 00:36               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:48               Who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show you’re going to be Tim who called me from Brooklyn, New York. I asked him if he was a native New Yorker and he said, no, I’ve only been here 50 years. He was born and raised in Minnesota. You’ll hear him describe a life where he was allowed to bond with his birth mother early, which he feels made a huge difference in his adoption. Later. His faith, which he followed a long way, turned out to be quite different from his heritage. Tim shares how his birth mother first didn’t want to meet, but was convinced to do so by Tim’s father or so he thought many decades later, Tim searches over as he’s found the missing pieces in his seventies. This is Tim’s journey….Tim was born in St Paul, Minnesota in 1944 at booth memorial hospital run by the Salvation Army in connection with a home for unwed mothers. Tim:                            01:50               I like to say I think it was significant that my birth mother kept me for a little over a month. I don’t know if that was a policy back then, but uh, I look back and think… I’m not a bitter person. I think the fact that she. She nursed me and she kept me for a little over a month. I think that… That helped in this whole adoption process. Damon:                       02:15               What did you mean by that? Tim:                            02:18               I’ve read a couple books. “Primal Wound” being a being a pretty significant book and it just feels to me like I had that connection. I had that bonding with, uh, with my mother, with my birth mother and as a primal wound refers to the sounds and...

Laura became a dear friend when we quickly bonded over being adoptees while working together. Laura had been searching for her family of origin for years, before the age of the internet, and the promise of consumer DNA testing linking long lost relatives. In this episode Laura reveals her childhood challenges to bond with her adopted family who were open about her adopted status in unhealthy ways. Their mental health issues and the emotional childhood that Laura lived, drove her desire to find her family origin, as the wondered about her biological mother every day. The post Who Am I...Really? Podcast (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com) . Laura:                           (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.29)                From the beginning of doing that DNA test I specifically have looked at it as whatever comes of this and whether people are welcoming or they, they don't want to know me. I just have to accept it like, and I think as a message to other adoptees on that journey, you really need to get to that place. If you don't get to that place, you're going to be in potentially for a lot of pain. Voices:                         (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=26.45)                Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                        (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=37.88)                Who am I really? Welcome to Who am I really? A show about adoptees who have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show we have my former colleague Laura, Laura told me the story of how she had a challenging childhood in adoption. Had a struggle to gain identifiable information from her birth records out of New York state and her ultimate connection to her aunt through DNA testing and a happy family reunion. Damon:                        (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=80.03)                So thanks for coming. What, what do you have here? Laura:                           (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=83.16)                So that is the information that I received in 1999 it was the combination of a request I'd made to the State, New York State for non-identifying information, which you're allowed to receive without the consent of any party because it's not identifying as no names or addresses or anything attached to it....

For the test and the short description of all the enneagram go to bit.ly/odafenneagram What is enneagram? What type am I? Who are type 9s? what is their wounding and healing message?

My daily task and desire is to be in full alignment with the highest and best version of me. I know that when I am fully aligned and authentic to my true genius, spirit intelligence, nothing can touch me.I only answer to God when I am in full alignment. I am impervious to the criticism of others. It is a task, because it takes daily conscious choices. Even our home, habits, purchases, schedules and surroundings are under scrutiny. We could ask the question: “Does this align with the past, current or ultimate version of me?”It’s like a puzzle, seeing everything coming together. As we change one thing, everything else is seen in a different light. I have been rearranging the furniture in my home to be more in alignment with my purpose and genius of using divine connection and inspiration prioritize my life.Daniel, one of our live callers suggested a question to help us get started knowing who we really are: “What am I committed to?”Another question could be: “Who am I?” “Who was I before I came to Earth?” “What are my natural gifts that have served me and others?”When I am out of alignment, it is as Mary, on our call shared. We feel drained, tired, stressed. It’s like telling a lie, and having to keep up the charade. It’s so much easier to just relax and be me!However, every time we level up or step into a higher way of being, it will fell a bit clunky to begin with. Don’t let the drained, tired, stressed feeling of being an amateur stop you from mastering a skill or concept that will ultimately become comfortable and take you to your destiny.Today, I Give Myself Permission to Make One Change That Aligns With MeI am inspiredI trust my intuitionI know me bestI act immediately when inspired by passionI am shown each step in the perfect timeI am easily walking my path and mastering each step as I growI see meI know me and I trust God to help me become itClick Here for more info on living a life of gratitude.Click Here to find out how to join the Gratitude Call live every weekday morning at 7 am Mountain Time.Click Here to join the “Breakthrough with Gratitude!” Facebook Group. To have a 15 minute conversation with Wylene Benson about a new perspective on an area of your life you desire to change, contact her directly at this link: askwylene.comTo work more closely with Wylene, become a North Star Navigator! click here to learn more about her new book The Seven Gateways – Your Map to Integrity in Life and Business and the life-changing North Star Navigator Course that so many have discovered to be the key to living a life of purpose, fulfillment and happiness!Support the show (https://wylenebenson.com)

Like two wings of a bird, the Buddhist Spiritual path has two essential parts: wisdom and compassion. All the teachings of Buddhism help us to develop and refine these two qualities. Also, we can use wisdom or compassion to help us to work on our problems, like anger, anxiety or an attachment causing us great pain. In this episode, we look at wisdom and compassion and ask ourselves, Who am I? Who do I want to be?  Wisdom realizing emptiness is realization that leads to enlightenment. Buddha taught that the ultimate nature of all things is emptiness. Our reality is empty of something that we normally perceive, but what is it empty of? When we say our glass is empty and ask for more, the glass is empty of something. Is it empty of  water or tea? This is the same with the emptiness of reality; it means our reality is empty of something. We ask then, “reality is empty of what?” Buddha taught that our reality is empty of inherent existence. Nothing exists inherently, independent of its name or without our minds perceiving it. A wine glass, for example, is not inherently a wine glass. Someone from a culture that has never seen a wine glass might see it as a vase flowers or a bowl for food. If no one ever gave it the name ‘wine glass’ it would not be a wine glass. The object is empty of existing inherently as a wine glass, but it does exist as a wine glass conventionally; it exists as mere name or imputation by conception. This also means the wine glass is full of possibilities for how it can exist.  This state of infinite possibility is true of our self also. If we even get a taste of our self being empty, it opens up infinite possibilities for our us. We can be anything. We can exist in any new, healthy way we can imagine. We can believe with certainty that we can become a Buddha and set out on the journey to become a bodhisattva. A bodhisattva is someone who has universal compassion and has determined to become a Buddha for the benefit of all living beings. Who are you? Who do you want to become?   Blind is this world;  Few see clearly here.  As birds who escape from nets are few,  Few go to heaven. (174)    Swans travel the path of the sun;  Those with psychic powers travel through space; The wise travel forth from the world,  Having conquered Māra and his army. --Buddha, The Dhammapada   Reference Buddha.The Dhammapada. Translated by Gil Fronsdale. Shambala, Boston and London, 2011, pp. 40. Yeshe, Thupten. Introduction to Tantra. (Audiobook). Wisdom Publications, Somerville, 2014.

Barry always knew he was adopted, but before he ever launched a search, he was found by his older sister. He tells the story of meeting her, and subsequently meeting his birth mother, both of whom welcomed him into their hearts. Hearing stories about why he was placed for adoption, Barry learned that he may have been lucky to escape his birth parents, but his younger siblings were not. This is Barry’s journey. Read Full Transcript Barry:                          00:00               I decided at that point, prior to going in to meet her, at some point I will just call her mom. So I said it as I was leaving and I don’t think she caught it. So she, you know, we had to be chat at the front door and blah blah blah. And then I went to give her a hug and I said, I’ll see you later mom. And she looked up at me and she staggered a little bit and she kinda questioned the whole thing by just saying, mum said, well you kind of gave birth to me that kinda qualifies you. Voices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:47               This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Barry. I spoke with him from just outside of Edinburgh, Scotland via Skype. Barry always knew he was adopted, but just before he ever launched the search he was found by his older sister. He tells the story of meeting her and subsequently meeting his birth mother, both of whom welcomed him into their hearts. Hearing stories about why he was placed for adoption, He learned that he may have been lucky to escape his birth parents, but his younger siblings were not. This is Barry’s journey. Barry told me he had a middle class upbringing with his father who was in construction and his mother who was a semi retired school teacher, he grew up in a peaceful, quiet little village south of Edinburgh. Barry’s mother was unable to bear children, so he and his brother were adopted. Barry:                          01:46               Just the two of us. I mean, we’re, we’re pretty much chalk and cheese completely. Other than the fact we grew up in the same place, um, there’s very little in common. Damon:                       01:56               What did you notice that you didn’t have in common when you were a kid? Maybe. Barry:                          02:00               Uh, I spent, well I was dyslexic growing up. So you kinda, you know, kids being the way kids are. Um, I spent most of my time alone anyway and I was quite happy. Just give me a key, you know, I was always into computers, um, or I played guitar and stuff like that. Um, I, I was quite...

David tried to find his birth mother in the early 90’s in California. He received non-identifying information back then, but it wasn’t much to act on at the time. Later, in 2015, motivated by his wife and his “lifetime sister”, he embarked on an intense collaboration with his adoption search angel Priscilla. Together they discovered his mother’s name and her location. David found an incredible photograph of his mother in the public library’s archives and was hopeful he would meet her soon. Unfortunately, he was too late to meet her in person. But in the end, he gained a full blooded sister that he didn’t even know he had. They get along great, and wish that they had grown up together. The post Who Am I...Really? Podcast (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com) . David ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.78) ): The very first link I clicked on the screen slowly, you know, was showing an image and it was my mother in her wedding dress. It was the picture from that article. There was a young couple next to me and I just looked over and I said, that's my mom, Voices ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=26.17) ): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=33.26) ): This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon. On the show today, I'm joined by David. He grew up in Southern California with one adopted sister whom he lovingly refers to as his lifetime sister. David remembers the day when his family went to pick up Jennifer when she was adopted and they both grew up knowing they were adoptees. He said he didn't really think about his biological family much until one day it just hit him. He didn't know anything about where he was from. His curiosity was peaked and fed by Jennifer's eventual discovery of her own biological father and urging from his wife to keep searching. In the end, David's collaborative teamwork with his adoption search angel, Priscilla, helped him learn more about his mother and father and connect to his biological sister. Here's David's journey. Damon ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=102.56) ): David grew up in Southern California and was perfectly comfortable with his adoption from an early age, but in his teen years there was a week where everybody was asking him if he was Irish. It turned out his adopted mother had a little bit of confirmation about his original identity. David ( (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=118.84) ): Grew up knowing my whole life that I was adopted. You know, I was told I, I don't know exactly at what age, but it was young enough that that's just what I knew and I didn't even know what it really meant quite frankly. I just kind of, I would tell people I'm adopted, you know, there was a period I was working, there was, it was shortly after I graduated high school and I was working at the grocery store as a box boy bagging groceries and stuff and the day shift. And so I'd have a lot of, you know, young mothers with their kids and stuff coming through. And in the period of like one or two weeks, I had three or four different people ask me if I was Irish. And I, I had never given it much thought I was raised Jewish. The family history of my adopted parents on both sides were a...

Mary is 78, but she still has stinging memories of her mother leaving her in another woman’s guardianship. The era was the Great Depression but her mother wanted to go out and have fun without the responsibility of raising In guardianship she was sexually abused, then her guardian blamed her for the economic hardship in that house when the abuser left the home. Mary had grown too independent to reunite with her mother. But despite the trials of her life, she made sure to be the best mother she could possibly be when her children needed her. Read Full Transcript (#) Mary:                           (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.45)                They would tell me, well, she’s not coming back. And I say, Oh yes, she’s coming. She’s coming to get me. But you know, she didn’t come to get me. So eventually you know you give up and then settling in. But I was devastated. I mean, it just, there’s no other word to describe it. Voices:                         (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.52)                Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                        (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=34.64)                This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Hey, it’s Damon. And today I was so lucky to talk to one of my own relatives, Mary, she and my biological mother Ann met well before I was able to locate Ann myself, Mary and Ann shared a common interest in, of all things, genealogy. Mary’s story isn’t one of a formal adoption, but being placed into the guardianship of someone else. She was a child during the Great Depression, an extremely challenging time economically and mentally for the health of our country. But Mary’s life challenges were deeply underscored by the upheaval of her family when her mother placed her and her young brother in the guardianship of a stranger. I asked her to tell me about her experiences growing up. I have to warn you, she does describe an abusive experience in her childhood that I suggest you don’t listen to in front of children. Here’s Mary Story. Hello? Mary:                           (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=96.98)                Hello Damon, how are you? Damon:                        (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=100.62)                I’m very

There are certain games we hold deeply in our heart. Whether it was because of the game itself, a metaphor for something greater, a dominant performance from our favorite player, a bookmark for a season or time we’ll fail to forget, there are games that will forever be more valuable to us than others. Houston v. Dallas 2014 is one of them for me. I completely forgot about Houston v. New York (G) 2014. Where was I? Who am I? What happened? A quick refresh reminded me of Shane Lechler throwing a fake punt to Alfred Blue to open my own personal gates of hell, DeAndre Hopkins’s one handed catch ruined by an illegal formation, J.J. Watt’s two point conversation stop, and Victor Cruz torching Kareem Jackson on slant routes...five years ago. Houston v. Dallas is different. I can sit it all clean and clear. I remember the Ebola scare and hazmat suits. J.J. Watt missing Tony Romo once, and missing him again to lead to a Terrance Williams touchdown. Brandon Brooks and Derek Newton. Rolando McClain sideline to sideline tackling. One of Arian Foster’s last great games. Johnathan Joseph v. Dez Bryant. The Ryan Fitzpatrick turnover experience. Bill O’Brien’s decision to punt instead of go for it on fourth and two in overtime. Bryant’s catch over Joseph to pretty much seal it. I remember my parent’s old house, how much I was writing, how much I was dying to be anywhere else, and the end of that awful summer before I moved out to live with the snakes and the rocks and the sun. With the offseason at its lowest point, rather than fabricate content, we played ESPN Classic and rewatched this game. MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE: You can subscribe on iTunes here. You can subscribe on Android/Google here. You can subscribe/listen on Spotify here. You can subscribe/listen on Stitcher here. Please subscribe and write a lovely review that gives us that three stars out of five rating we deserve. Keep that in mind when you download the episode this week. Thanks for staying awhile and listening. Enjoy the show while you do whatever it is that you do. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Marni grew up in Madison, WI in a transracial family that lived a predominantly white community. Everywhere they went, they were stared at for the heterogeneity they brought to the community. The attention their family received was a constant reminder of their own racial diversity, but Marni’s father seemed to have wise and crafty ways to turn the tables to make his own children feel more comfortable. Still, Marni’s family had some internal dysfunction that fed her desire to search for her biological family always wanted to find her biological family. Initially, she thought things with her biological mother were going to be great, but it turned out that her biological father was the one she had the deepest connection to. Marni makes her living supporting foster youth in the Washington, DC area, pulling from her own experiences as an adoptee to uplift others. (#) Marni:                          00:06 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=6.13)                 Maybe, just maybe all of this has led to a place where I am stable emotionally. I’m okay with talking about everything as it relates to my journey and why not use that as a backbone of strength to give back and help others. Voices:                         00:27 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.22)                 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                        00:38 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=38.71)                 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and today my guest is Marni. She grew up in Madison, Wisconsin, in a transracial family that lived in a predominantly white community, but everywhere they went, they were stared at, the attention their family received was a constant reminder of their racial diversity, but her father seemed to have wise and crafty ways to turn the tables to make his own children feel more comfortable. Still Marni always wanted to find her biological family, so on her 21st birthday, that’s exactly what she began to do. Initially, she thought things with her biological mother, were going to be great. But it turned out that her biological father was the one that she truly had a connection with. I asked Marni to tell me what life was like as an adoptee in her family and in her community. Marni recalls her childhood as one challenged by racial identity. Her family was racially diverse in, in Madison, Wisconsin in the 1970s, the kind of racial diversity and integration that her family showed was far from the norm and their families stood out in their community. Marni:                          01:53 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=113.56)                 We had a rainbow coalition, if you will, of a family in the early seventies in Madison, Wisconsin, which wasn’t exactly popular. And although my parents did, I think, everything they could to normalize something that really was not normal by society standards, it was still rough because we would go places and people’s jaws would drop. My family is, um, pretty into outdoor sporting. Um, for example, camping, canoeing, and in Wisconsin there’s lovely lakes and forests and such to hike through in the northern part of the state and in the northern part of the state, there’s no diversity of any kind. And so because that’s something that our family did recreationally, we spent a lot of time

Elise has always been into genealogy and loved looking at family photos & records when she was a child. As a child of adoption, she wondered where her family of origin was? Reunion has had its ups and downs for Elise. The experience with her birth father’s family has been great over the last 20 years. She’s used her genealogy skills to solve a mystery about her paternal grandfather. Elise keeps a door open for communication if her mother or maternal family want contact, yet she understands and accepts that her mother may not be in a position to have a relationship. Elise says, “I am so appreciative of my journey, the good and the bad parts because getting to work out some of the puzzle pieces of my story and my paternal grandfather’s has been a gift and has helped me have a better sense of self and wholeness.”   Read Full TranscriptElise:                           00:00               I will say the most important thing I found out about after meeting both of them is that you can truly appreciate having the entire puzzle put together because I could totally see like what I got from my mom and dad and what I received from my mother and father and you can appreciate what came from the nature side and what came from the nurture side. Voices:                        00:30               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:41               This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Elise from Minnesota. She always wanted to search for her birth family and her interest in genealogy from a young age turned into a life’s passion to support adoptees after she found her own parents. After years of searching, Elise found her birth mother who located her birth father for her almost immediately. The reunion started off really well, but then it stalled when her mother closed the door. Thankfully her father still wanted to know his daughter and they fostered a long distance relationship before meeting in person. He told Elise that she had paternal roots in Fargo, North Dakota, but trying to connect to those roots revealed they had originated hundreds of miles away at a place, Elise was very familiar with, here’s Elise’s journey. Damon:                       01:39               Elise had one younger brother in her family, whom she remembers bringing home when he was adopted too. They had a large extended family with 16 first cousins. They were all so close in age they seemed almost like siblings. As time marched on, they grew up and had families of their own and over time it became more obvious how biological families kind of look and act similarly to one another, but Elise says she had an innate curiosity about the differences in herself and her family and the ultimate question of what she learned from them that had shaped her and what traits have been passed down to her....

Brenda was born in California, grew up on the east coast and lives in Texas. She’s the child of a military family that has lived all over. When a school project required her to ask her adoptive mother about her family tree at eight years old, she was shown her non-identifying information for the first time. While the offer was open to review her information anytime, Brenda felt like the topic of her adoption was stressful for her mother, so she never asked. After the birth of her first son, Brenda sought her birth parents, definitively identifying her birth father first. He was emotionally ready to welcome her in. Finding her birth mother, she saw the mirror image of her self. Unfortunately, the woman was so traumatized following her pregnancy and the adoption process, she wasn’t as open to Brenda’s return. But the door isn’t completely closed. Read Full TranscriptBrenda:         She just started crying and she just said, you know it, It took so long to forget and such a short time to bring it all back Brenda: What did you think in that moment. Brenda:    Well, I mean I understand. I understand. She had to forget about me to move on. She had to because she just couldn’t live there and beat herself up for the rest of her life. Intro voices: Who am I? Who am I?..Who am I? Who am I?… Who Am I? Who am I? Damon: This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and today you’re going to hear from Brenda who called me from Texas. Brenda was raised as an only child in a military family and her parents always gave her what she needed to have a healthy, happy upbringing. After a school project, she was shown her non-identifying information and her curiosity about her birth mother opened up and her imagination kicked in, but it was her biological father whom she definitively identified first and who was mentally ready to receive her unscarred by the burdens, her biological mother bore after Brenda’s birth. This is Brenda’s journey. Damon: Brenda was born in California and grew up an only child of a military couple. They moved around a lot, living in different parts of the United States and overseas. At one point her parents intended to adopt a boy, but her father’s military orders transferred him. Before that adoption was completed. Brenda: I was the only one in the family that was adopted, you know, in the entire, either one of their families. So I didn’t really have anybody to talk to about it. They were always very open about it even though they were a little nervous about talking about that kind of thing. They’re just kinda little uptight about a lot of things. And um, so they had, I remember as a kid, I mean I’ve always known I was adopted and as a kid my mother would give me this little book to read about how special I was because I was adopted. I was selected, I was chosen and um, you know, that was kind of how it was approached. And uh, you know, most of the family, the extended family didn’t really treat me any differently than anybody else. We didn’t because again, with the military life, we didn’t live near anybody in the family either. My parents, they lived, their parents lived in different places and in the United States and we’d go visit occasionally about once a year, but that was about it and so it was just kind of the three of us growing up. Brenda:  Brenda says she looks different from her family, but over the years people have said she looks like her father, which always made her laugh and oddly Brenda and her mother’s voice is sound almost identical. A bizarre coincidence for Brenda who worked in broadcasting. She speaks reverently of her mother and honestly about her father. Brenda:  I’ve always gotten along great with her. I mean she really, she was a stay at...

When Sean was a kid, he found out he was adopted. That news created some conflict in him and challenged his identity. He began to rebel against his adopted parents, but some sage wisdom from his grandmother quickly set him straight. Sean returned to loving and appreciating the family he was a part of, but his desire to understand his identity never left. Older and married to his high school sweetheart, Sean’s family began to grow. He said that seeing his world in his oldest daughter’s eyes made him even more sensitive to his biological mother’s tough choice to let him go. After Sean finally mailed his introductory letter to his biological mother, which he had re-drafted several times over the years, he was finally able to reunite with her. He learned some of the ways that he’s just like his mother, and how one of his childhood sports heroes is actually his cousin! (#) Sean:                            00:03 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.46)                 It wasn’t until Macy was born and you know for any first time father to look in the eyes of his child and I realized right then like at some stage, not so long ago, someone looked in my eyes when this happened to them and I thought, you know, where is she? And I thought for the first time, like as a parent like they had, there must’ve been a lot of pain to say goodbye. Speaker 3:                    00:29 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=29.9)                 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? New Speaker:               00:41 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=41.3)                 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Hey, it’s Damon today. I have the pleasure of introducing you to Sean as a kid. When he found out he was adopted, he created some conflict in him and challenged his identity. But some sage wisdom from one of the elders in his family set him straight again so that he could return to loving and appreciating the family he was already a part of. When he got a little older, married his high school sweetheart and their family began to grow. So did his curiosity about his biological mother’s experience, giving birth to him and relinquishing him to adoption. You’ll hear Shawn talk about connecting to his mother brothers and how he feels fortunate to have had the opportunity to say thank you for the life he leads. Damon:                        01:29 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=89.2)                 You and I talked quite a while ago about your story. Um, and I’d love to hear some of the details about how, how you grew up as an adoptee. Tell me about your, your family, your family structure when you found out you’re an adoptee and what it was like being an adoptee in your community. Sean:                            01:47 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=107.91)                 Sure. Uh, well, you know, uh, it’s kind of a funny story. Well, at least I’m able to laugh now, but you know, this whole journey for me started in the first grade when I, uh, I’ve found out what adopted meant about a year prior that my, my parents told me that I was adopted. They just didn’t fill in all the blanks for me. They didn’t really tell me what it...

Growing up Joi tried to convince herself that being adopted didn’t bother her because she had such a great family. But in reality, great parents did not erase the fact that she didn’t know her birth parents. She laments that never saw anyone who looked like her, and of course, she could never answer a doctor’s questions about her health history. After connecting with a close cousin on AncestryDNA, they began a search through the family tree to locate her birth mother. After the state of New Jersey opened adoptee birth records, the cousins learned exactly who Joi was related to, and that their search had been off track. After receiving her original birth certificate (OBC), she was able to connect with her birth mother and her birth father in a story of joyous reunion befitting a woman named Joi. Since her interview originally aired in August 2017 Joi has published her adoptee memoir, “ Finding Joi: A True Story of Faith, Family, and Love (https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Joi-Story-Faith-Family/dp/1733631402/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=finding+joi&qid=1558748647&s=gateway&sr=8-1) ” (#) Damon:                        00:00 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/z6j-3xfatVqUmRFdK7d2Fsip9AHl60Ljcched7hJmPL-Hc6rw3spw2B9hDuKkG4K_bXFiQM8ofz2t1wmr6TK0q-VD1M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.03)                 Hey, it’s Damon. Just a quick update to let you know that since this episode first aired in August of 2017 Joi has published her adoptive memoir, finding Joi, a true story of faith, family and love. You can find it on amazon.com now, here’s Joi’s story. Joi:                               00:20 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/z6j-3xfatVqUmRFdK7d2Fsip9AHl60Ljcched7hJmPL-Hc6rw3spw2B9hDuKkG4K_bXFiQM8ofz2t1wmr6TK0q-VD1M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=20.851)                 Well, there be a response to the letter. The fear of, okay, now I’ll put all this out there and let’s say it gets to her and she chooses not to respond. How will I know if she got the letter? Is she even interested in reconnecting with me? And then what if I got to this point and I have a name I haven’t address, I have even a church that she attends. And what if she doesn’t want to see me? How am I going to deal with that? Ooh, Voices:                         00:50 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/z6j-3xfatVqUmRFdK7d2Fsip9AHl60Ljcched7hJmPL-Hc6rw3spw2B9hDuKkG4K_bXFiQM8ofz2t1wmr6TK0q-VD1M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=50.52)                 Who am I, who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? New Speaker:               01:01 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/z6j-3xfatVqUmRFdK7d2Fsip9AHl60Ljcched7hJmPL-Hc6rw3spw2B9hDuKkG4K_bXFiQM8ofz2t1wmr6TK0q-VD1M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=61.21)                 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show, you’ll meet Joi. She grew up comforted by the adoption mantra that she was not expected she was chosen. While adoption was an open topic in her home. Joi admits she hadn’t reached a point of speaking freely about her own adoption publicly until she was in reunion. Her reunion. Story has some unexpected twists and turns as the DNA match, she thought she had found turned out to be completely different from her expectation and another DNA match turned into a dead end. In the end, Joi’s name lived up to its meaning, which her birth mother cleverly testified to in church for their very first meeting. Here’s Joi’s journey. New Speaker:               01:51 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/z6j-3xfatVqUmRFdK7d2Fsip9AHl60Ljcched7hJmPL-Hc6rw3spw2B9hDuKkG4K_bXFiQM8ofz2t1wmr6TK0q-VD1M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=111.07)                 Joi’s adoption wasn’t openly accepted. Fact in her life, even though people sometimes commented that she didn’t quite look like her...

You probably know by now that I’ve written book to share my story, just like so many of our crib mates who have documented their own stories. It’s called Who Am I Really, An Adoptee Memoir (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8) . In this episode I introduce my own story, and recap lessons learned from the Who Am I Really podcast. (#) Damon:                        00:00 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.12)                 I want to start by thanking all of you for listening to the show. I wasn’t sure this would turn into anything meaningful when I first brainstormed, Who Am I Really? But your comments on episodes, ratings on apple podcasts, personal notes and contributions on Patreon have meant so much to me. I’m not even kidding when I tell you that the feedback is the fuel that helps me continue this passion project and labor of love. I’ve been humbled by the number of people who have reached out to share their adoption journey and I thank all of my guests for their bravery in opening their inner thoughts and deepest emotions for others to hear. You’re helping other adoptees to feel like they are validated about whatever mental state they’re in or have been in and that they’re not alone on this particular journey through life. You’re helping everyone who listens to understand the adoptee perspective from your own words because you’ve lived these experiences. You’re sharing has taught me empathy for other people, not just adoptees, but everyone. We all go through something in our lives and hearing adoption and reunion stories has opened my eyes to just how much we all endure, how resilient we can be in the face of adversity and how we handle our happiness, anger and seek or grant forgiveness. I’m so thankful to my guests for trusting me with helping to share their journeys and now it’s my turn. Voices:                         01:25 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=85.01)                 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                        01:36 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=96.43)                 This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. You probably know by now that I’ve written a book to share my story, just like so many of our crib mates who have documented their own stories. It’s called Who Am I Really an adoptee memoir. If you haven’t seen it already, you should head over to facebook.com/WAIReally to see a video of my son Seth and me when we opened the box of books when it arrived. It was super cute to watch Seth get emotional as he held the book in his hand for the first time. It’s been a long time coming and I’m really proud of it. A few people have asked me about my writing process, so I’ve told them one of the first things you have to do is you just have to start writing, but my editor gave me some great advice, which I also shared. Damon:                        02:29 (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=149.71)                 She recommended that I note the things that I wanted people to get out of my book. The reason I was writing it, she pointed out that that exercise would help me focus the writing to make sure those core elements were clearly articulated. But when I started writing, I realized that when I tell my adoption story, it usually focuses on the incredible reunions I experienced...

Cindy knew she was adopted, but she believed the men in her life where of biological relation – she thought she was adopted within the family. She lived decades with what she calls a lie. DNA testing revealed that her biological father was someone else entirely, and her search for her birthmother hasn’t returned any details about where the woman might be. She has developed two amazing relationships with a sister and cousin, but her 11 half siblings want nothing to do with her. Read Full TranscriptCindy:                          00:02               I think that, even though I, I’m one that needs to know the truth, I can deal with things in time if I know the truth. Lying to me is like the worst thing you can do. So it took me a while to process that I had been lied to my entire life. Um, and that was a big low for me. Voices:                        00:27               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:38               This is, Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and today you’re going to meet Cindy. She called from upstate New York, but she grew up in central New Jersey. Cindy knew she was adopted, but she believed the men in her life were of biological relation. She thought she was adopted within the family. She lived the decades with what she calls a lie. DNA revealed that her biological father was someone else entirely and her search for her birth mother hasn’t returned any details about where the woman might be. She has developed two amazing relationships, but her 10 half siblings want nothing to do with her. This is Cindy’s journey. Cindy was born in West Virginia where she was adopted at the age of three. Her parents were deemed unfit and she was removed from their home for child neglect. Cindy was adopted by her father’s brother. Cindy:                          01:36               All my life I believed I stayed within my birth, at least my birth father’s family. And so I was adopted at three. I was raised in New Jersey and stayed there until I went to college. Damon:                       01:50               Gotcha. So you, you called him Dad. So at three years old, transitioned out of poor care in West Virginia to your quote unquote Father’s care in New Jersey. Cindy:                          02:04               Right. So I was adopted by my aunt and uncle. Damon:                       02:06               Gotcha. But you didn’t...

Ashley had one of those moments where talking to her biological sister felt so familiar it was like texting and and responding to herself.  But her birth mother’s pain and uneasiness over Ashley’s desire to learn anything about her birth father was too much for the woman, and their relationship suffered. When she found her birth father Ashley, predictably, learned that he didn’t know she existed. But incredibly he learned that his wife, who was not Ashley’s birth mother, already knew her husband had a child out there, even though he didn’t.   Read Full TranscriptAshley:                        00:00:02          I was worried about her because she just is so constantly, basically, it seemed like she was depressed about the situation. I just wanted to make it go away. I just wanted her to know I had a good life. I was happy. I’m still happy. You’re in my life now. Let’s just go with it because, and I remember I said to her, not many people get this chance. Not many people get a chance to meet their biological family and get to know them and I said like, like let’s take advantage of this. Voices:                        00:00:35          Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:00:47          This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Ashley. She lives up in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Ashley had one of those moments where talking to her biological sister felt so familiar. It was like texting and responding to herself, but her birth mother’s pain and uneasiness over Ashley’s desire to learn anything about her birth father was too much for the woman and their relationship suffered. When she found her birth father, Ashley predictably learned that he didn’t know she existed, but incredibly he learned that his wife, who was not Ashley’s birth mother already knew her husband, had a child out there even though he didn’t. This is Ashley’s journey. Damon:                       00:01:37          Ashley was adopted as an infant because her adoptive parents weren’t able to conceive. She described her life as comfortable and she got a lot of love from her parents. They held her and rocked her every day. In school, he was given the infamous family heritage assignment, so she assumed the identity of her adoptive parents. She was paternally, Scottish and maternally German in adoption. In grade six, she started to question things more. Her adoption was closed, so there wasn’t much information available to her parents, but Ashley:                        00:02:08          they did know that, you know, I had a couple brothers and a sister, which is cool for me cause I, well growing up I was an only child. So to hear that I had siblings out there was a pretty cool thought. They also told me how I was an auntie before I was born, which again, very cool. You know, don’t have siblings never would be an Auntie. So that thought was pretty cool....

Lori was adopted after her biological mother lived with her adoptive parents, desperately trying to escape the tyranny of her abusive husband. The abuse her birth mother suffered would be a recurring theme in her own life when her mother’s drinking got worse. Lorie tells the story of growing up reminded of the privilege she lived with but wanting only to be herself, not keep up appearances for her mother. When she found her birth mother, she was able to share her own sons with their new grandmother, a woman who missed out Lori’s youth. Read Full Transcript Lori:                            00:00               He had actually moved her from the house and moved her into like an abandoned farm hill and she said there was no electricity, no running water. Um, it was her and my oldest brother, pretty much they had no food. She was severely malnourished when she was pregnant and to the point where he would take car parts out of the car, so she couldn’t go anywhere. She was pretty much abandoned in a foreign house and had nowhere to go. She couldn’t escape for the longest time. Voices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:47               This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Lori. She called me from Georgia before her move to Washington state. She was adopted after her biological mother lived with her adoptive parents, but that boarding situation was forced because of abuse, which was a recurring theme in Lori’s home, thereafter. She tells the story of growing up reminded of the privilege she lived with, but wanting only to be herself, not keep up appearances for her mother. When she found her birth mother, she was able to share her sons with the woman who had missed out on her youth years ago. This is Lori’s journey. Damon:                       01:31               When I spoke to Lori from Georgia, she was planning to move their young family west to Washington following her husband’s career in the United States army. Lori’s five month old son was in the background so you might hear him from time to time. She told me that she was born and partially raised in central California where her parents and most of their family were from. She didn’t really know too many adopted kids in her area and adoption wasn’t spoken of in her home. She said she was one of four that her parents tried to adopt. Her oldest brother is five years older than herself. Lori was adopted at birth after her parents had fertility issues and even lost a child. Their parents tried to adopt another boy, but the adoption fell through and the boy went back to his biological family. Lori shared that she had good memories of her childhood with a tight knit family and grandparents who were great people. But when she was 10 her parents tried to adopt a brother and sister who would have been two middle children between Lori and her brother. But their adoptions didn’t work out either....

Steve, from London, Ontario, Canada shares his story of being adopted after his mother lost a child. Steve and his mother never connected, in fact, she stifled his social development and seemed to be holding him back because he didn’t look like their family, and didn’t fit in. As a teen, Steve was out on his own in the streets when he learned that he had fathered a child – that’s when he became a single father. In reunion, he found a connection to his birth mother, but her empty promises ended with rejection that surprised him. Read Full Transcript Damon:                       00:00               Hey there. I just wanted to take a sec to let you know that in between producing the show, chasing my son Seth around and generally living life, I took time to write a book about my own adoption journey. It’s called Who Am I Really? Of course. If you’d like to pre order a copy, go to WhoAmIReallypodcast.com and click shop, where you will be redirected to the publishers bookstore. I hope to make it to your reading list. Okay, here’s this week’s show. Steve:                          00:33               My birth mother tells her, look, I’m not allowed to have contact with him. The kids have his contact information. If they want to contact him, they’re welcome to. I’ve given them, you know what I mean? Everyone’s aware and man, that felt like a knife through the gut, and I don’t know why. Like I guess in that moment I just, I felt orphaned. Voices:                        01:02               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       01:13               This is, Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Steve. He called me from London, Ontario, Canada. Steve shares his story of being adopted after his mother lost a child, but Steve and his mother never connected. In fact, she stifled his social development and seemed to be holding him back because he didn’t look like their family and didn’t fit in. As a teen, Steve was out on his own in the streets when he learned that he had fathered a child, that’s when he became a single father. In reunion, he found the connection to his birth mother, but empty promises ended with rejection and that surprised him. This is Steve’s journey. Steve doesn’t recall being told he was adopted. He just always knew it, but he doesn’t know how he knew that fact. By his description, his parents were typical adoptive parents in the 1970s who wanted the dreams of family many parents aspire to back then, but his adoption came about out of adversity. Steve:                          02:19               They wanted their 2.3 kids in a white picket fence. They had a girl. Then they had a, a baby who was stillborn and they were told that they would never be able to conceive again. And so at that point, um, they pursued other...

In Kenneth’s family all of siblings were adoptees, each fostered in their parents home before their adoption were made final. That scenario worked out great for Kenneth, but not so much so for his oldest sister who never bonded with their mother. Seeking reunion, Kenneth carefully approached his half-sister and learned the truth about his brith mother’s institutionalization which led to his sister’s adoption, and his own conception. Kenneth was still seeking answers as to his birth father’s identity at the time of our interview… for now at least he knows more about where he came from. Read Full Transcript Kenneth:                     00:00               Yeah. You know, and it’s kind of funny in being the adopee, I think it was a lot tougher on my sister. My sister would visit my mother there and my mother had electroshock therapy and all that kind of stuff and it’s like I didn’t have to experience it myself, but my sister did. Voices:                        00:25               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:36               This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Kenneth. He called me from Cole City, Illinois. His family of siblings were all adoptees, each fostered in their parents’ home before their adoptions. That scenario worked out great for Kenneth, but not so much for his oldest sister. Seeking reunion, he bonded with his half sister and learned the truth about his birth mother’s institutionalization, which led to his sister’s adoption and Kenneth’s conception. He’s still seeking answers as to his birth father’s identity, but for now at least he knows more about where he came from. This is Kenneth’s journey. Kenneth was the youngest of four adoptees in the suburbs of Chicago. He had two older sisters and a brother. So I’m sure you can imagine adoption was an integral part of their lives, but that doesn’t mean it was entirely a great thing for all of them. Listen to the stories Kenneth tells about his siblings start in their home Kenneth:                     01:44               and it’s kind of funny now that I look back on it and I hear other people’s adoption stories, I see how unique in one sense my situation was, my parents became foster parents solely for the, um, to be able to adopt and they figured, well if we start out as foster parents then we’ll have the in that would allow us to, um, be given children. And they were, they got four children and I’m not exactly sure that was the best idea for them because what ended up happening is, is my oldest sister was a foster child to start and they got her at 10 months old and she wasn’t adopted until she was like almost four. And at that point you really don’t have any much bonding that my, my mom and my mom especially. I don’t sense she could totally give her heart to my sister because she never knew if she was going to get her or not and so and and my sister would have visitations with her biological family and when she was three there, my sister can vaguely remember the goodbye to her biological family...

When he was a kid, Bill saw clues here and there that he was adopted, but no one ever actually said it. It wasn’t until he called an uncle he’d never met before that the truth was revealed, turning Bill’s world upside down. Reunion with his birth mother was an emotional event with a woman who was told never to speak of his existence again. Bill talks about how he felt toward the father he grew up who took the secret of his adoption to his grave, and how redemptive it’s been to be accepted by his birth parents and his new siblings on both sides. Read Full Transcript Damon:                       00:00               Hey there. I just wanted to take a sec to let you know that in between producing the show, chasing my son Seth around and generally living life, I took time to write a book about my own adoption journey. It’s called Who Am I Really? Of course. If you’d like to preorder a copy, go to WhoAmIReallypodcast.com and click shop where you will be redirected to the publishers bookstore. I hope to make it to your reading list. Okay, here’s this week’s show. Bill:                             00:30               I just realized that what was so upsetting was all the stuff I had missed. I missed 54 years with these people. I missed 54 years with my parents. I missed 54 years with my aunts and uncles and my sisters that I’ll never get back and that was really, really weighing on me and I just, I got to a point where I learned that I have to just accept that and I got to try to get past it. Voices:                        01:05               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       01:16               This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Bill. He called me from Virginia Beach, Virginia. When he was a kid, Bill saw clues here and there that he was adopted, but no one ever actually said it. It wasn’t until he called an uncle he’d never met before that the truth was revealed, turning Bill’s world upside down. He talks about how he felt toward the father he grew up with after learning the news and how redemptive it’s been to be accepted by his birth parents and his new siblings. This is Bill’s journey. Bill tells his adoption story in parts. I gathered, It was because he’s had to accumulate the facts over his lifetime. The first part of his story he calls, what I knew, where he describes exactly that, the things that he knew were the facts of his life. For example, he was born in January of 1963 his birth place was a Methodist hospital in Omaha, Nebraska. His father’s name was Bill. His first wife’s name was Audrey. Bill:                             02:27               I knew that sometime when I was two years old, Audrey passed away in June of 65 and I know that, uh, my father remarried my mother who raised me and uh,...

Being unapologetically who you are in your relationship, what does this mean? How is it related to personality type and what impact can this have? I am joined by my dear friend Lisa Fischer today to have a candid conversation about this powerful topic.If you haven’t been following along, over the last several episodes I have been transitioning from being unapologetically who you are in life to being who you are in love. Showing up and being your authentic, true self regardless of what other people think, even your partner.When you show up this way, sometimes people accept it and sometimes people don’t. Both Lisa and I have gone on journeys when we started being unapologetically who we are within our relationships. Each of us ended up on very different paths and this episode is all about what happened and how you can translate our experiences into your own and learn from them.When anyone commits to a long-term relationship, things can happen which prevent you from figuring out who you really are and showing up that way. We get busy with work or family and time flies by, suddenly we are left wondering, “Where am I? Who am I? And am I being my true self and is my life congruent with who I am?”We can find ourselves shutting down and settling for a life that isn’t the one we had hoped or planned. I know this feeling. I think every single marriage in America for sure, possibly the world, knows this feeling. At one point we all stopped getting real because we’re a little bit “walking on eggshells.” We’re nervous, we’re scared, we’re protecting our own hearts, we’re protecting our person, and something happens. And if we stopped really being who we are, we stopped having our voice. Honestly, it’s often after a period of this kind of existence, sometimes years or even decades, that it becomes important to be able to communicate our needs and desires and be able to be our true self.What happens then? Listen as Lisa and I share our experiences, both very different yet similar at the same time. And much of the outcome is determined by our personality type, and our partners type as well.If you are in a long-term relationship, there are some potent lessons to be gleaned from our raw and honest chat. These are struggles we all go through, and it is important for your health, well-being, and happiness to be who you are, and to be able to show up unapologetically as that person in life and in love.Thank you so, so much, I appreciate your time and thank you so much for listening.To find out more about Jessica visit https://jessicabutts.com/.Follow her on Instagram @frontseatlife for daily motivation.To learn more about the new Front Seat Love Online Course for Couples, go to: http://www.frontseatlove.com.Not sure what your Myers Briggs personality type is? Take a free personality assessment at https://jessicabutts.com/front-seat-life-personality-assessment/.Looking for a tribe of growth-oriented people and want to stay closely connected to Jessica’s coaching? Join the Front Seat Life Community for a small monthly subscription at https://jessicabutts.com/front-seat-life-membership-group/.Front Seat Life Podcasthttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/front-seat-life-podcast/

On today's episode, I'm sharing the future of Fed & Fit.  We'll be talking about where we're headed, how we're evolving and big changes for the Fed & Fit Podcast in the future. We're back with our 200th episode of the Fed+Fit Podcast! Remember to check back every Monday for a new episode and be sure to subscribe on iTunes! Find us HERE on iTunes and be sure to "subscribe." Episode 200 Sponsors and Featured Partners Nutritional Therapy Association - The NTA trains and certifies Nutritional Therapy Practitioners and Consultants with a nutritional foundation that emphasizes the body’s innate intelligence and bio-individuality, because they know that a “one size fits all” approach to nutrition does not exist.  Head HERE to learn more about becoming a NTP/NTC through this incredible program! Episode 200 transcription Cassy Joy: Today’s show is brought to you by the Nutritional Therapy Association! The NTA trains and certifies nutritional therapy practitioners and consultants with a nutritional foundation that emphasizes the body’s innate intelligence and bioindividuality. Because they know that a one-size fits all approach to nutrition does not exist. The NTA curriculum focuses on the importance of properly prepared, nutrient-dense whole foods, paired with a well balanced lifestyle. Sound familiar? I love this program so much. Throughout their program, students learn a wide range of educational tools and techniques to identify and correct nutritional imbalances and deficiencies. And students graduate with the education and skills needed to launch a successful career in holistic nutrition. May enrollment for the NTA’s nutritional therapy practitioner program, or their fully online nutritional therapy consultant program, is currently open through April 26. You can head to www.NutritionalTherapy.com to get more info. The NTA’s annual conference, Roots, is also happening March 1st through the 3rd in Portland, Oregon. I’ve attended in the past, and can honestly say it was one of the most educational and inspirational nutrition conferences I have ever been to. No joke. You can go to the NutritionalTherapyConference.com to register. You do not have to be an NTP to go; all are welcome. Cassy Joy: Welcome back to another episode of the Fed and Fit podcast. I am your host, Cassy Joy Garcia. Welcome! Thank you for being here today. Whether you are listening real time, or you're listening at some point well into the future, it is an honor to speak with you. So today’s show is going to be a little bit different. And you will see very quickly why. I’m going to go ahead; and this is episode number 200. Can you believe it? Episode number 200. I can’t believe it. We started this podcast in January, the very first Monday in January 2015. And now we’re well into 2019, 200 episodes in, and later. And gosh, it has been quite a ride. In this time, I got married. I married the man of my dreams in 2015, in October. I turned a blog into a business. Who knew? Man, when I started this thing I did not know. I had an idea, and a hope, and an inclination. But when you start something new, you just don’t know all the time if it’s actually going to work. Because I didn’t know how to make it work. And I learned that as time went on. So I found a way to turn Fed and Fit into a profitable entity. So much so that I was able to leave my job. I started the blog in 2011, in the summer of 2011, and that was; it feels like a million years ago and it feels just like yesterday. I vividly remember all of it. In fact, I wanted to start Fed and Fit about a year before I did because I didn’t have a name nailed down. And also, I suffered from that imposter syndrome that so many of us still suffer with. Myself included, on occasion. Because I thought to myself; who am I? Who am I to start this thing, and put my voice out there? I had some schooling, and some knowledge under my belt, and some personal experience, but who am I? And as time went on,

As an interracial adoptee and musical artist, Ferera grew up feeling different from her adopted family. When her adoption was tearfully confirmed by her Mom, it created doubt within her about whether it was okay to be different? Ferera met her birth mother, and the woman’s twin sister, so their reunion was a shared experience that somewhat fractured the intimate connection Ferera would have liked to have developed. She’s in touch with her birth father, but they’ve never met b/c he lives in the Philipines. Stream Ferera’s song “Second Time” via: Soundcloud | Spotify Watch Acoustic Version on YouTube Connect With Ferera: Website  |Facebook | Twitter | Instagram| YouTube |Soundcloud Read Full TranscriptFerera:                        00:01               She said that I was making it all about me and I do believe that she was saying that out of her own pain. For an adoptee. It’s like, well, I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ever choose to be adopted. I didn’t choose for me to be in this position and so I wanted to work it out. I really did and so when I reached out to her and tried to talk about it, I suggested let’s get on the phone because emails are just, things can get misconstrued, but I never did hear back from her again. Voices:                        00:34               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? New Speaker:              00:47               This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Ferera. She called me from Austin, Texas as an interracial adoptee and musical artists for rare, grew up feeling different from her adopted family. When her adoption was confirmed by her mother, it created doubt within herself about whether it was okay to be different Ferera met her birth mother and the woman’s twin sister. So their reunion was a shared experience that somewhat fractured the intimate connection Ferera would have liked to have developed. She’s in touch with her birth father but they’ve never met because he lives overseas. This is Ferera journey. Damon:                       01:33               Ferera originally from Houston. She said the first time she ever felt different from her family was around three years old since those early days Ferera has gotten her DNA test done. So she can tell you more clearly now what her heritage is. But at first all she could tell you is Ferera:                        01:49               I am a transracial adoptee. And so, um, I grew up in, um, a Chinese family and um, I’m Filipino but there, you know, there’s a big difference so. I think many people don’t realize that there is such a big difference between the two, but there is culturally and all these things. But basically growing up we didn’t really talk about it. I wasn’t really told that I was adopted until I was, um, uh, 10 years old. And that’s only because I...

After the adoptive father she loved so much died, Alison learned her birth father, Tim, was looking for her and she took it as a good sign of things to come. Sadly she found herself disappointed in him, and later in her birth mother, Jean, whom he contacted without telling her. Alison had no idea her birthmother struggled with mental illness, so their contentious relationship was inexplicably challenging. After Alison took legal action to gain access to her adoption records from the agency that refused to turn over her information, she finally laid eyes on the detailed context of her past that meant so much to her, and only her. Read Full TranscriptAlison:                         00:00:01          I am the one that had no choice in this. Right? You know, like when you realize like, you know, my, my adopted parents had a choice. They choose, they chose to adopt. My birth mother had a choice, even though in some sense she didn’t, but there was still choices made, right? That weren’t my choices. I mean, I’m the only one that, that completely had no choice. So I realized that like, and this in reunion. I can choose who I have relationships with and who I don’t, you know, I, I, you know, so I realized it’s okay. Like I don’t need to make this work with my birth mother. Voices:                        00:00:35          Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:00:47          This is, Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Alison. She called me from Massachusetts. After the adoptive father that she loved so much died, Alison learned her birth father was looking for her and she took it as a sign of good things to come. Sadly, she found herself disappointed in him and later in her birth mother whom he had contacted without telling her. However, after Alison took legal action to gain access to her adoption records from the agency who refused to turn over her information, she finally laid eyes on the detailed context of her past that means so much to her and only her. This is Alison’s journey. This is Alison. Alison:                         00:01:40          I just want to tell you, but I, you know, found your podcast not that long ago. Damon:                       00:01:45          I always like to hear how the show is impactful for people. Alison:                         00:01:49          And um, I, I shot you an email after the first one I listened to, you interviewed your friend, Damon:                       00:01:54          she’s talking about one of my lifelong buddies, Andre, whom I featured way back in my very first episode....

Neal’s search didn’t take off until he was 66 years old! He got a DNA kit for his birthday and within months he was in touch with his paternal family. Ohio’s open original birth certificate help him learn his birth mother’s name, but he couldn’t find a single maternal connection during his search. This episode was just about to be wrapped up to go live, when Neal circled back to share some big news. Read Full TranscriptNeal:                           00:01               He didn’t really remember very much about my biological mother and that’s a, that’s a search that continues to this day. Um, and sort of like, uh, everything that was fast and relatively easy about finding my genetic father and his family has been difficult about trying to find my genetic mother. Voices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon:                       00:47               This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis. And on today’s show is Neal. He called me from right here in Rockville, Maryland. Neal search didn’t take off until he was 66 years old. He got a DNA kit for his birthday and within months he was in touch with his paternal family. Ohio’s open original birth certificate policy, helped him learn his birth mother’s name, but he couldn’t find a single maternal connection during his search. This episode was just about to end when Neal circled back to share some big news. This is Neal’s journey. Neal was raised in bay shore, New York on Long Island. He figures his parents must’ve done a good job with helping him to feel okay with his adoption because he always knew and his parents openly pointed out friends in the neighborhood who were adopted too. He had one younger sister also adopted and his parents selected a special day to commemorate their adoptions. Neal:                           01:50               Valentine’s Day became sort of our day to commemorate uh, our adoption of me and my sister. And uh, we just kind of, they just kind of made a big deal about it and uh, they were actually greeting cards at the time that, uh, I had a message about being accepted as an adoptee. Damon:                       02:15               Oh really? That’s interesting. I didn’t know that. That’s kind of cool. Neal:                           02:19               Yeah, it is. Damon:                       02:21               Neal says he and his sister got...

When you truly begin doing your work, the Enneagram really should mess with you. It should dis-equilibrate you, throw you back on your heals, make you wonder, "Who am I? Who is everybody else? What am I supposed to do now? This week we're back with part 2 of Claire Diaz-Ortiz's interview revealing how her research into Enneagram Threes has helped her dig beneath the surface and shift her focus towards using the gifts she's developed to lift up others from behind the scenes.   Claire Diaz-Ortiz is an author, speaker and Silicon Valley innovator who was an early employee at Twitter. Named one of the 100 Most Creative People in Business by Fast Company, she holds an MBA and other degrees from Stanford and Oxford and has been featured widely in print and broadcast media. She writes a popular business blog at ClaireDiazOrtiz.com and is the award-winning author of eight books that have been published in more than a dozen countries. To learn more about Claire, visit www.clairediazortiz.com.