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27 episodes with better sex through mindfulness
3 episodes with better sex through mindfulness
12 episodes with better sex through mindfulness
3 episodes with better sex through mindfulness
2 episodes with better sex through mindfulness
3 episodes with better sex through mindfulness
In this episode, Dr. Rena Malik, MD is joined by Dr. Fenwa Milhouse for an engaging conversation about sexual health, cosmetic genital procedures, and anatomy-driven preferences. Together, they review recent research on penis girth versus length preferences, the anatomy behind sexual pleasure, and the realities of enhancement procedures for both men and women. The discussion also explores cosmetic gynecology, including labiaplasty and labial puffing, as well as minimally invasive options like fillers and platelet-rich plasma injections aimed at enhancing sexual experience. Dr. Malik and Dr. Milhouse highlight the importance of individualized care, realistic expectations, and choosing well-trained professionals for any intimate procedures. Become a Member to Receive Exclusive Content: renamalik.supercast.com Schedule an appointment with me: https://www.renamalikmd.com/appointments ▶️Chapters: 00:00 Girth vs Length Preferences 03:05 Limits of Girth, Neophallus 04:43 Cosmetic Gynecology for Women 07:36 Labiaplasty Discussion 08:16 Labial Puff and Fillers 10:26 G Spot and Clitoral Enhancement 12:52 Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP) 15:19 Safety, Training, and Data Concerns Stay connected with Dr. Fenwa Famakinwa Milhouse on social media for daily insights and updates. Don't miss out—follow her now and check out these links! Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drmilhouse/?hl=en TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@yourfavoriteurologist Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/yourfavoriteurologist/ Website - https://yourfavoriteurologist.com/ Dr. Milhouse Down There Urology YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@downthereurology/videos Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/downthereurology/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/downthereurology Website - https://downthereurology.com/ Learn if people think a cosmetic procedure is it worth it? https://www.realself.com/ Better Sex Through Mindfulness https://amzn.to/4cnBQsU Let's Connect!: WEBSITE: http://www.renamalikmd.com YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@RenaMalikMD INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/RenaMalikMD TWITTER: http://twitter.com/RenaMalikMD FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/RenaMalikMD/ LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/renadmalik PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/renamalikmd/ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/RenaMalikMD ------------------------------------------------------ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is purely educational and does not constitute medical advice. The content of this podcast is my personal opinion, and not that of my employer(s). Use of this information is at your own risk. Rena Malik, M.D. will not assume any liability for any direct or indirect losses or damages that may result from the use of information contained in this podcast including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness or death. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In today's show, we're talking about a new way of treating women’s most common sexual problems. My guest co-developed an online sexual health platform called eSense that's designed to bring evidence-based treatment for low sexual desire and arousal to the masses at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. It could very well be a game-changer in the way we treat sex problems. I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research. She is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, a Registered Psychologist, and Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health. She is also author of the book Better Sex Through Mindfulness. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and how can it help in treating problems with desire and arousal? How can mindfulness-based therapy be useful in cases of low sexual desire? How does the eSense platform leverage both CBT and mindfulness training to treat sexual difficulties? How effective is therapy administered online compared to things like face-to-face therapy and pharmaceuticals? How will technologies like artificial intelligence and virtual reality change sex therapy in the future? You can check out Lori’s website to learn more about her work, and you can learn more about eSense at esense.health. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
The most common sexual problems that women experience center around low sexual desire and/or difficulty becoming aroused, formally known as female sexual interest/arousal disorder. In today's show, we're doing a deep dive into what this disorder looks like, where it comes from, and why it seems so hard for women to access treatment for it. I am joined by Dr. Lori Brotto, an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research. She is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, a Registered Psychologist, and Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health. She is also author of the book Better Sex Through Mindfulness. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is “female sexual interest/arousal disorder?” How is it clinically defined? How common is this disorder? What do we know about its causes? Is it physical, psychological, or a bit of both? Why does it take an average of 5 years for women to access treatment for sexual desire and arousal problems? Why is it so hard to develop drugs and medications that stimulate sexual desire? You can check out Lori’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-may The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
In this episode of the Rena Malik, MD Podcast, Dr. Rena Malik is joined by Dr. Fenwa Milhouse to discuss the fascinating world of cosmetic urology. They delve into safe and effective procedures for enhancing genital aesthetics in both men and women, primarily focusing on penile fillers and labiaplasty. They provide insights into different types of penile fillers, their longevity, and the risks associated with procedures like liquid silicone injections. The episode also highlights the importance of understanding both the aesthetic and functional implications of these procedures. Additionally, Dr. Milhouse shares personal experiences about managing mismatched libidos and enhancing intimacy in relationships, emphasizing the role of communication and individual efforts in fostering a healthy sexual life. Become a Member to Receive Exclusive Content: renamalik.supercast.com Schedule an appointment with me: https://www.renamalikmd.com/appointments ▶️Chapters: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:00:22 Genital Enhancement Overview 00:03:03 Cosmetic Urology 00:05:29 Penile Enhancement Details 00:10:36 Filler Types 00:12:07 Liquid Silicone Warnings 00:20:25 Women Preferences in Penis Size 00:24:26 Cosmetic Enhancements for Women 00:50:25 Libido and Desire Mismatch Stay connected with Dr. Fenwa Famakinwa Milhouse on social media for daily insights and updates. Don't miss out—follow her now and check out these links! Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drmilhouse/?hl=en TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@yourfavoriteurologist Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/yourfavoriteurologist/ Website - https://yourfavoriteurologist.com/ Dr. Milhouse Down There Urology YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@downthereurology/videos Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/downthereurology/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/downthereurology Website - https://downthereurology.com/ Learn if people think a cosmetic procedure is it worth it? https://www.realself.com/ Better Sex Through Mindfulness https://amzn.to/4cnBQsU Let's Connect!: WEBSITE: http://www.renamalikmd.com YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@RenaMalikMD INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/RenaMalikMD TWITTER: http://twitter.com/RenaMalikMD FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/RenaMalikMD/ LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/renadmalik PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/renamalikmd/ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/RenaMalikMD ------------------------------------------------------ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is purely educational and does not constitute medical advice. The content of this podcast is my personal opinion, and not that of my employer(s). Use of this information is at your own risk. Rena Malik, M.D. will not assume any liability for any direct or indirect losses or damages that may result from the use of information contained in this podcast including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness or death. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Have you ever felt like intimacy takes a backseat in your busy life? Between endless to-do lists, financial stress, and the mental load of daily responsibilities, it's no surprise that desire often fades into the background. But what if mindfulness could help rekindle connection and deepen intimacy? In this episode, Whitney sits down with Dr. Lori Brotto, a leading researcher in sexual health and mindfulness and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness. Dr. Brotto shares fascinating insights into the powerful connection between the mind and sexual well-being, shedding light on how emotional and psychological factors shape women's experiences in the bedroom. Together, they explore why spontaneous desire is rare—especially in long-term relationships—and how cultivating awareness and intention can reignite passion. By letting go of outdated beliefs around female sexuality and embracing mindfulness, women can foster a more fulfilling relationship with both their bodies and their partners. Dr. Brotto also shares research-backed, practical strategies to boost desire, confidence, and pleasure—without pressure or perfection. Tune in for an insightful and empowering conversation that just might shift the way you think about intimacy. Here's what you can look forward to in this episode: The prevalence of sexual dysfunction How stress impacts intimacy and sexual desire Why Lori advocates for planning time for sex Mindfulness practices to help rebuild being present with sexual desire Advice for those whose self-judgment is getting in the way of enjoying sex How moms can talk to their daughters to help them have a good relationship with sex Erotica vs. porn Reflection question to ponder: Do I really want this? Connect with Whitney: Instagram l Website l 5 Days to Less Stress, More Satisfaction l Tend to Your Soul Toolkit l Electric Ideas Podcast Connect with Dr. Brotto: Instagram | Website | Book: Better Sex Through Mindfulness | Become a research participant
Send us a textThis episode emphasizes the importance of unlearning childhood lessons about sex and body image while cultivating compassion for ourselves. Bridget shares insights from her conversation with Laura Federico, exploring themes of curiosity, self-dialogue, connection with the body, and useful resources for deeper understanding.• Unlearning misconceptions about sex and body image • Importance of compassion in self-talk • Questioning the validity of negative thoughts • Body scans as a tool for reconnection • Resources for sexual health and body scans • Exploring the emotional side of hormones and desireResources referenced in episode:- Dr. Lori Brotto and her book, "Better Sex Through Mindfulness"- The book "Come As You Are" by Emily NagoskiBUY THE CYCLE BOOK & CONNECT WITH THE AUTHORSwww.thecyclebook.comInstagram - @thecyclebookLaura Federico's website - laurafedericotherapy.comMorgan's website - morganmillermidwifery.comMEAL PREP TRAINING PROGRAMRegister here - 21-Day Meal Prep Training ProgramProgram starts Feb 3rdRegister by Feb 1stUse code "2025" to save $20.25JOIN THE MEAL PREP TRAINING PROGRAMRegister here (by Feb 2nd)Code "2025" for $20.25 off registrationStart date: Feb 3rdCONNECT WITH BRIDGET Email listInstagramBook a free consult callWebsite
Send us a textIn this episode, we dive deep into the relationship between hormonal health and sexual desire, exploring how mental and emotional factors play crucial roles in our sexuality. We discuss the importance of cycle tracking, body connection, and the inevitable intersection of trauma and self-discovery. • Understanding psychotherapy and its role in sexual health • The barriers preventing clarity in sexual desires • Importance of self-compassion in body awareness • The impact of hormonal cycles on libido and desire • Recommendations for reconnecting with one's body • Cycle tracking as a tool for understanding sexuality Resources referenced in episode:- Dr. Lori Brotto and her book, "Better Sex Through Mindfulness"- The book "Come As You Are" by Emily NagoskiBUY THE CYCLE BOOK & CONNECT WITH THE AUTHORSwww.thecyclebook.comInstagram - @thecyclebookLaura Federico's website - laurafedericotherapy.comMorgan's website - morganmillermidwifery.comMEAL PREP TRAINING PROGRAMRegister here - 21-Day Meal Prep Training ProgramProgram starts Feb 3rdRegister by Feb 1stUse code "2025" to save $20.25JOIN THE MEAL PREP TRAINING PROGRAMRegister here (by Feb 2nd)Code "2025" for $20.25 off registrationStart date: Feb 3rdCONNECT WITH BRIDGET Email listInstagramBook a free consult callWebsite
Better Sex Through Mindfulness" by Dr Lori A. Brotto.
Do you find yourself "checking out" or running through your to-do list during intimacy? But what if there was a simple yet powerful tool that could help you awaken desire and be more present to pleasure? Discover how mindfulness can reignite your passion, deepen your pleasure, and transform your relationship with sex. In this episode, Dr. Lori Brotto, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of British Columbia, registered psychologist, and author of "Better Sex Through Mindfulness," shares her groundbreaking research and practical techniques to help you cultivate desire and experience more fulfilling sex. Highlights from our discussion include: Mindfulness as a Pathway to Pleasure: Discover how mindfulness can help you tune into your body, heighten your senses, and enhance your sexual experiences. The Science of Desire: Learn about the scientific evidence supporting mindfulness as a tool to improve sexual desire and arousal. Overcoming Common Sexual Challenges: Gain valuable insights into addressing issues such as low desire, stress, and negative body image that can affect sexual well-being. Practical Mindfulness Techniques: Explore simple yet effective mindfulness practices that can be incorporated into your daily routine to cultivate desire and intimacy. Partner Involvement: Understand how to engage your partner in mindfulness practices to enhance your shared intimate experiences. Transforming Your Sexual Health: Learn about Dr. Brotto's holistic approach to sexual health, combining science-based evidence with mindfulness and self-compassion. Whether you're navigating midlife changes, seeking to reignite your passion, or simply wanting to enhance your sexual wellness, this episode is filled with practical advice and profound wisdom that will leave you feeling empowered and connected. Press play now to receive Dr. Brotto's invaluable insights and guidance. Your body, mind, and relationships will thank you. Dr. Lori Brotto: https://www.loribrotto.com/ ____ Ready to say YES to your pleasure? Click the link below to receive my FREE gift to you. If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at www.pleasureinthepause.com for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.
In this special episode, your hosts Luba, Becca, and Erin are joined by the esteemed Dr. Melanie Altas, a Gynaecologist and Clinical Associate Professor at the University of British Columbia.Get ready to dive into the nitty-gritty of all things sex – we're talking menopause, medically induced menopause, and the age-old debate of planned versus spur-of-the-moment intimacy. Plus, we'll be covering different angles of sexual health and wellness, because, let's face it, it's all part of the real talk on Between Both Cheeks.Tune in, and let's get real about the stuff that matters.Resources Mentioned: Find Dr Altas online: drmelaniealtas.com and bcvulvarhealth.caFollow Hello.Vulva on Instagram: @hello.vulvaSpecial mention of Dr Rosemary Basson's Sexual Response Cycle (episode cover image)Better Sex Through Mindfulness, book- Dr Lori Brotto: loribrotto.comPractice Partnership: Monetizing Your Dental PracticeDoctors – are you interested in building long-term wealth and continuing on as an...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show-----Special offer on Chippendale tickets! Use code BRYGHT25 for 25% off tickets to The Chippendales on Ticketmaster.Use code BRYGHT25 to get 25% OFF your tickets now!Sign up for Emails: https://promotions.lpage.co/campaigns/2789115See our trade show schedule: https://bryghtenup.com/pages/eventsFree online webinars: https://bryghtenup.com/pages/webinarStart Your Own Podcast for FREE With Buzzsprout Using Our Link and Get $20!! https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=739373Follow us on social media @betweenbothcheekspodcastEmail us at podcast@bryghtenup.com
Sexual health requires collaboration and alignment between partners. Many couples get stuck and the resulting conflicts commonly escalate to breakups. On this week's podcast, you'll meet a professor and psychologist focused specifically on women's sexual health, using mindfulness as a foundation in her work. Listen and learn: What sex drive discrepancy (SDD) is and the challenges that arise How antidepressant drugs can contribute to sexual dysfunction even after discontinued use Why “women's Viagra” Addyi isn't really working for most people How mindfulness can create a foundation for sexual health Links Lori's site: www.LoriBrotto.com ABOUT OUT GUEST Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of British Columbia and a Registered Psychologist, specializing in women's sexual health. She is the author of, Better Sex Through Mindfulness. Like the Show? Leave us a review Check out our YouTube channel Visit www.yogabody.com
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Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-sex-bdsm-for-beginners Unlock the sensual world of BDSM with "Kink for Beginners" - an explicit guide designed to be your ultimate guide into the realm of kink. Delve into the world of dominance and submission with a sexy American accent guiding your every move. Are you and your partner curious about exploring the exciting world of BDSM, but not sure where to start? This guided session is tailored just for you, introducing you to the beginning theory and practice within the realm of kink. In this BDSM guided masturbation episode, learn the fundamentals of bringing Dominance and submission into your sex life. From bondage and discipline to dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism – these four little letters hold a plethora of thrilling possibilities. Let the sultry narration be your intimate guide as you and your lover discover the art of sensual power play and tantalizing pleasure. Embrace the excitement of exploring new horizons in your intimacy, with a focus on trust, communication, and consent. Whether you're a seasoned enthusiast or a curious newcomer, "BDSM for Beginners" will immerse you in a world of desire, pleasure, and thrilling exploration. Allow the audio to elevate your experience and unlock the secrets of an electrifying sexual journey. Discover the passion of surrendering control and embracing your deepest desires. Elevate your sexual experiences with this eye-opening BDSM audio porn story, and open the door to a world of intense pleasure and connection. Tune in to "Sex and Masturbation Guides" for this daring and educational experience that will empower you and your partner to explore the captivating art of BDSM.
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Welcome to the ultimate podcast for sex and masturbation guides. In this episode, we present an exquisite anal masturbation guide that will unlock new realms of pleasure and exploration. Whether you're a curious beginner or someone looking to enhance your sensual experiences, this audio tutorial is tailored just for you. Join us as our talented and seductive narrator takes you on a sensual journey of self-discovery. With her captivating voice and expert guidance, she will lead you through the intricacies of anal play, ensuring a pleasurable and safe experience. Let go of any reservations and embrace the tantalizing world of anal sensations. This guided masturbation audio is designed to provide you with step-by-step instructions, empowering you to explore the wonders of anal pleasure. Discover the secrets to heightened sensations, intense orgasms, and a deeper connection with your own desires. Whether you're a woman seeking JOI (Jerk Off Instruction) or simply curious about expanding your sexual repertoire, this anal masturbation guide is a must-listen. From relaxation techniques to the use of toys and lubrication, every aspect of anal play is explored with care and sensuality. Prepare to embark on a journey of self-exploration and liberation. Indulge in this guided masturbation audio and let your inhibitions fade away. Embrace the power of self-discovery and allow yourself to surrender to the seductive whispers of Julia's guidance. Get ready to unlock the full potential of anal pleasure and experience sensations that will leave you breathless. Tune in to our sex and masturbation guides podcast for more captivating episodes that will awaken your senses and ignite your passion. Get ready to explore, experiment, and embrace the full spectrum of your desires. The journey to pleasure begins here.
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Better Sex Through Mindfulness – Dr. Lori Brotto Dr. Lori Brotto is a psychologist and Director, UBC Sexual Health Laboratory Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health Professor, Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology, UBC Executive Director, Women's Health Research Institute “Sex is not just a deficiency in a hormone” – KJC Dr. Brotto tells us how she started her sex research career by studying rats. Do stressed out rats want sex? “Stress is antisexual” – Dr. Brotto “So many people don't even know that they are stressed.” - KJC Dr. Casperson tells her story about finding mindfulness How Dr. Brotto discovered mindfulness for helping manage pain, anxiety, and desire Mindfulness During sex. How anxiety and depression affects our sexuality. And mindfulness can help! We talk about medications for low desire in women. Filbanserin specifically. Beliefs are key! We discuss the role of beliefs on our sex life. Mindfulness helps us “see” our beliefs more. Anorgasmia – how common it is and what is the most common cause. How to suss out asexuality versus low desire. Obligatory sex – how to navigate discrepant desire. The myth of penis and vagina sex and why it excludes so many people. Mindfulness for sexuality after prostate cancer. The role of communication with your partner. Do they even want your erect penis? https://www.loribrotto.com/ Better Sex Through Mindfulness https://amzn.to/42bchpj Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook: https://amzn.to/42abTYc https://www.instagram.com/drloribrotto/ https://www.cancersexnetwork.org/ https://www.drannekatz.com/ Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership
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Welcome back, everybody. We are on Episode 2 of the Sexual Health and Anxiety Series. Today, I will be the main host and main speaker for the episode, talking about arousal and anxiety. This is a topic that goes widely misunderstood, particularly in the OCD and anxiety field where people are having arousal that they can't make sense of. It's also very true of people with PTSD. They're having arousal that makes no sense to them, that confuses them, that increases anxiety, increases shame, increases guilt, and from there, it all becomes like a huge mess to them. It becomes incredibly painful, and it's just so messy they can't make sense of it. My hope with this episode is to help you understand the science behind arousal and the science behind arousal and anxiety so that you can move forward and manage your anxiety around arousal and manage your shame and guilt and sadness and grief around arousal, and have a better relationship with your body and with yourself and your soul. Now, these are more difficult conversations. I have talked about them in the past, and so I want you just to go into this really, really gentle, really open with con compassion and kindness, and curiosity. Your curiosity is going to help you immensely as you move through this series, as you move through some of the difficult conversations we're going to have, maybe a little bit embarrassing, humiliating, and so forth. Even me telling my kids that I'm so excited, I'm doing a series on sexual health, they're like, “Mom, you can't talk about that to other people.” I'm like, “Yes, I can. We're going to talk about it. Hopefully, when you're old enough, you'll be able to listen to this and you'll be so glad that we're having conversations around this and taking the shame and stigma, and misinformation out of it.” I'm going to go straight into the episode. This is our episode on understanding arousal and anxiety. We are going to come on next week talking about an entirely different subject about sexual health and intimacy, sex and anxiety, and arousal and anxiety. I am so excited. Stick around. Enjoy every bit of it. Take as many notes as you can, but please, please be kind to yourself. Let's get to the show. ANXIETY AND AROUSAL Let's get into the episode. Let me preface the episode by, we're talking about anxiety and arousal. If I could have one person on the podcast, it would be Emily Nagoski. I have been trying to get her on the podcast for a while. We will get her on eventually. However, she's off doing amazing things—Netflix specials, podcasts, vet documentaries. She's doing amazing things. Hopefully one day. But until then, I want to really highlight her as the genius behind a lot of these concepts. Emily Nagoski is a doctor, a psychology doctor. She is a sex educator. She's written two amazing books. Well, actually three or four, but the ones I'm referring to today is Come As You Are. It's an amazing book, but I'm actually in my hand holding The Come As You Are Workbook. I strongly encourage you after you listen to this podcast episode to go and order that book. It is amazing. It's got tons of activities. It might feel weird to have the book. You can get it on Kindle if you want to have it be hidden, but it's so filled with amazing information and I'm going to try and give you the pieces that I really want you to take away. If you want more, by all means, go and get the workbook. The workbook is called The Come As You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to The Science of Sex. The reason I love it is because it's so helpful for those who have anxiety. It's like she's speaking directly to us. She's like, “It's so helpful to have this context.” Here's the thing I want you to consider starting off. A lot of people who have anxiety report struggles with arousal. We're going to talk about two different struggles that are the highlight of today. Either you have no arousal because of your anxiety, or you're having arousal at particular times that concern you and confuse you, and alarm you. You could be one or both of those camps. Let's first talk about those who are struggling with arousal in terms of getting aroused. The thing I want you to think about is, commonly, this is true for any mental health issue too. It's true for depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, dissociative disorders—all of them really. But the thing I want you to remember, no matter who you are and what your experience is, even if you have a really healthy experience of your own sexual arousal and you're feeling fine about it, we all have what's called inhibitors and exciters. Here is an example: An inhibitor is something that inhibits your arousal. An exciter is something that excites your arousal. Now, you're probably already feeling a ton of judgment here like, “I shouldn't be aroused by this, and I should be aroused by this. What if I'm aroused by this and I shouldn't be,” and so forth. I want us to take all the judgment out of this and just look at the content of what inhibits our arousal or excites our arousal. Because sometimes, and I'll talk about this more, it's for reasons that don't make a lot of sense, and that's okay. SEXUAL INHIBITORS AND SEXUAL EXCITERS Let's talk about a sexual inhibitor—something that pumps the brakes on arousal or pleasure. It could be either. There's exciters, which are the things that are really like the gas pedal. They just really bring on arousal, bring on pleasure, and so forth. We have the content. The content may be, first, mental or physical, and this includes your health, your physical health. For me, I know when I am struggling with POTS, arousal is just barely a thing. You're just so wiped out and you're so exhausted and your brain is foggy, and it's just like nothing. That would be, in my case, an inhibitor. I'm not going to talk about myself a lot here, but I was just using that as an example. You might say your anxiety or your obsession is an inhibitor. It pumps the brakes on arousal. It makes it go away. Worry is one. It could also be other physical health like headaches or tummy aches or, as we said before, depression. It could be hormone imbalances, things like that. It's all as important. Go and speak with your doctor. That's super important. Make sure medically everything checks out if you're noticing a dip or change in arousal, that's concerning you. The next one in terms of content that may either excite you or inhibit you is your relationship. If your relationship is going well, you may or may not have an increase in arousal depending on what turns you on. If your partner smells of a certain smell or stench that you don't like, that may pump the brakes. But if they smell a certain way that you do really like, and really is arousing to you, that may excite your arousal. It could also be the vibe of the relationship. A lot of people said, at the beginning of COVID, there was a lot of fear. That was really, really strong on the brakes. But then all of a sudden, no one had anything to do, and there was all this spare time. All of a sudden, the vibe is like, that's what's happening. Now, this could be true for people who are in any partnership, or it could be just you on your own too. There are things that will excite you and inhibit your arousal if you're not in a relationship as well, and that's totally fine. This is for all relationships. There's no specific kind. Setting is another thing that may pump the brakes or hit the gas for arousal, meaning certain places, certain rooms, certain events. Did your partner do something that turned you on? Going back to physical, it could also depend on your menstrual cycle. People have different levels of arousal depending on different stages of their menstrual cycle. I think the same is true for men, but I don't actually have a lot of research on that. But I'm sure there are some hormonal impacts for men as well. There's also ludic factors, which are like fantasy, whether you have a really strong imagination that either pumps the brakes or puts the gas pedal in terms of arousal. It could be like where you're being touched. Sometimes there's certain areas of your body that will set off either the gas pedal or the brakes. It could be a certain foreplay. Again, really what I'm trying to get at here isn't breaking it down according to the workbook, but there's so many factors that may influence your arousal. SHAME AND SEXUAL AROUSAL Another one is environmental and cultural and shame. If arousal and the whole concept of sex was shamed or booked down on, or people have a certain opinion about your sexual orientation, that too can impact your gas pedal and your brakes pedal. I want you to explore this not from a place of pulling it apart really aggressively and critically, but really curiously, and check in for yourself. What arouses me? What presses my brakes? What presses my gas? And just start to get to know that. Again, in the workbook, there's tons of worksheets for this, but you could also just consider this on your own. Write it down on your own. Be aware over the next several days or weeks, just jot down in a journal what you're noticing. Now, before we move on, we've talked about a lot of people who are struggling with arousal and they've got a lot of inhibitors and brake pushing. There are the other camps who have a lot of gas pedal pushing. I speak here directly to the folks who have sexual obsessions, because often if you have sexual obsessions, the fact that your sexual obsession is sexual in nature may be what sets the gas pedal off, and all of a sudden, you have arousal for reasons that you don't understand, that don't make sense to you or maybe go against your values. I've got a quote that I took from the book and from the workbook of Emily Nagoski. Again, none of this is my personal stuff. I'm quoting her and citing her throughout this whole podcast. She says: “Bodies do not say yes or no; they say sex-related or not sex-related.” Let me say it again. “Bodies do not say yes or no; they say sex-related or not sex-related.” This is where I want you to consider, and I've experienced this myself. Just because something arouses you doesn't mean it brings you pleasure—main point. We've got to pull them apart. SEXUAL OBSESSIONS & AROUSAL Culture has led us to believe that if you feel some groinal response to something, you must love it and want more of it. An example of this is, for people with sexual obsessions, maybe they have OCD or some other anxiety disorder and they have an intrusive thought about a baby or an animal. Bestiality is another very common obsession with OCD, or could be just about a person. It could be just about a person that you see in the grocery store. When you have a thought that is sex-related, sometimes, because the context of it is that it's sex-related, your body may get aroused. Our job, particularly if you have OCD, is not to try and figure out what that means, is not to try and resolve like, does that mean I like it? Does that mean I'm a terrible person? What does that mean? I want you to understand the science here to help you understand your arousal, to help you understand how you can now shift your perspective towards your body and your mind and the pleasure that you experience in the area of sexuality. THE GROINAL RESPONSE Let's talk about the groial resopsne. Again, the body doesn't say yes or no; they say either sex-related or not sex-related. Here's the funny thing, and I've done this experiment with my patients before, if you look at a lamp post or it could be anything. You could look at the pencil you're holding, and you think about, and then you bring to mind a sexual experience, you may notice arousal (or the groinal response). Again, it doesn't mean that you're now aroused by pencils or pens; it's that it was labeled as sex-related. Often your brain will naturally press the accelerator. That's often how I educate people, particularly those who are having arousal that concern it. It's the same for a lot of people who have sexual trauma. They maybe are really concerned about the fact that they do have arousal around a memory or something, and then that concerns them, what does that mean about me? The thing to remember too is it's not your body saying yes or no; it's your body saying sex-related or not sex-related. It's important to just help remind yourself of that so that you're not responding to the content so much and getting caught up in compulsive behaviors. A lot of my patients in the past have reported, particularly during times when they're stressed, their anxiety is really high, life is difficult, any of this content we went through, they may actually have a hard time being aroused at all. Some people have reported not getting an erection and then it completely going for reasons they don't understand. I think here, we want to practice, again, non-judgment. Instead, move to curiosity. There's probably some content that impacted that, which is, again, very, very normal. BETTER SEX THROUGH MINDFULNESS I'm talking with patients. I've done episodes on this in the past and we've in fact had sex therapists on the podcast in the past. They've said, if you've lost arousal, it doesn't mean you give up. It doesn't mean you say, “Oh, well, that's that.” What you do is you move your attention to the content that pumps the gas. When I mean content, it's like touch, smell, the relationship, the vibe, being in touch with your body, bringing your attention to the dance that you're doing, whether it's with a partner or by yourself or whatever means that works for you. You can bring that back. Another amazing book is called Better Sex Through Mindfulness. It talks a lot about bringing your attention to one or two sensations. Touch and smell being two really, really great ones. Again, if your goal is to be aroused, you might find it's very hard to be aroused because the context of that is pressure. I don't know about you, but I don't really find pressure arousing. Some may, and again, this is where I want this to be completely judgment free. There is literally no right and wrong. But pressure is usually not that arousing. Pressure is not that pleasurable in many cases, particularly when it's forceful and it feels like you have to perform a certain way. Again, some people are at their best in performance mode, but I want to just remind you, the more pressure you put on yourself on this idea of ending it well, it's probably going to make some anxiety. Same with test anxiety. The more pressure you put on yourself to get an A, the more you're likely to spin out with anxiety. It's really no different. Here is where I want you to catch and ask yourself, is the pressure I put on myself or is the agenda I put on myself actually pumping the brakes for me when it comes to arousal? Is me trying not to have a thought, actually in the context of that, does that actually pump the brakes? Because I know you're trying not to have the thought so that you can be intimate in that moment and engaged in pleasure. But the act of trying not to have the thought can actually pump the brakes. I hope that makes sense. I want you to get really close to understanding what's going on for you. Everyone is different. Some things will pump the brakes, some things will pump the accelerator. A lot of the times, thought suppression pumps the brakes. A lot of the times, beating yourself up pumps the brakes. A lot of the time, they're more like goal, like I have to do it this way. That often pumps the brakes. Keep an eye out for that. Engage in the exciters and get really mindful and present. A couple of things here. We've talked about erections. That's for people who struggle with that. It's also true for women and men with lubrication. Some people get really upset about the fact that there may or may not be a ton of lubrication. Again, we've been misled to believe that if you're not lubricated, you mustn't be aroused or that you mustn't want this thing, or that there must be something wrong with you, and that is entirely not true. A lot of women, when we study them, may be really engaged and their gas pedal is going for it, but there may be no lubrication. It doesn't mean something is wrong in those cases. Often a sex therapist or a sex educator will encourage you to use lubrication, a lubricant. I've talked to clients and they're so ashamed of that. But I think it's important to recognize that that's just because somebody taught us that, and sadly, it's a lot to do with patriarchy and that it was pushed on women in particular, that that meant they're like a good woman if they're really lubricated. That's not true. That's just fake, false, no science, has no basis in reality. Now we've talked about lubrication, we've talked about erection. Same for orgasm. Some people get really frustrated and disheartened that they can't reach orgasm. If for any reason you're struggling with this, please, I urge you, go and see a sex therapist. They are like the most highly trained therapists. They are so sensitive and compassionate. They can talk with you about this and you can target the specific things you want to work on. But orgasm is another one. If you put pressure on yourself to get there, that pumps the brakes often. What I want you to do, and this is your homework, is don't focus on arousal; focus on pleasure. Again, it's really about being in connection with your partner or yourself. As soon as you put a list of to-dos with it is often when things go wrong. Just focus on being present as much as you can and in the moment being aware of, ooh. Move towards the exciters, the gas pedal things. Move away from the inhibitors. Be careful there. Again, for those of you who have anxiety, that doesn't mean thought suppress, that doesn't mean judge your thoughts because that in and of itself is an inhibitor often. I want to leave you with that. I'm going to, in the future, do a whole nother episode about talking more about this idea of arousal non-concordance, which is that quote I used: “The bodies don't say yes or no; they say sex-related or not sex-related.” I'll do more of that in the future, but for right now, I want it to be around you exploring your relationship with arousal, understanding it, but then putting your attention on pleasure. Being aware of both, being mindful of both. I'm not a sex therapist. Again, I'm getting all of this directly from the workbook, but most of the clients I've talked to about this, and we've used some worksheets and so forth, they've said, “When I put all the expectations away and I just focus on this touch and this body part and this smell and this kiss or this fantasy, or being really in touch with your own body, when I just make it as simple as that and I bring it down to just engaging in what feels good, use it as a north star. You just keep following, that feels good. Okay, that feels good. That doesn't feel so great. I'll move towards what feels good”—moving in that direction non-judgmentally and curiously, they've had the time of their lives. I really just want to give you that gift. Focus on pleasure. Focus non-judgmentally and curiously, being aware of what's current and present in your senses. That's all I got for you for today. I think it's enough. Do we agree? I think it's enough. I could talk about this all day. To be honest, and I've said this so many times, if I had enough time, I would go back and I would become a sex therapist. It is a huge training. Sex therapists have the most intensive, extensive training and requirements. I would love to do it. But one day, I'll probably do it when I'm like 70. That will be awesome. I'll be down for that for sure. I just love this content. Again, I want to be really clear, I'm not a sex therapist and so I still have tons to learn. I still have. Even with what we've covered today, there's probably nuanced things that I could probably explain better, which is why I'm going to stress to you, go and check out the book. I was thinking about this. Remember I just recently did the episode on the three-day silent retreat and I was sitting in meditation. I remember this so clearly. I'm just going to tell you this quick story. For some reason, my mind was a little scattered this day and something came over with me where I was like, “Wouldn't it be wonderful if I didn't just treat anxiety disorders but I treated the person and the many problems that are associated with the anxiety disorder? Isn't that a beautiful goal? Isn't that so? Because it's not just the anxiety; it's the little tiny areas in our lives that it impacts.” As soon as I finished the meditation, I went on to my organization board that I use online and it was like, “Arousal. Let's talk about pee and poop,” which is one episode we recently did. “Let's talk about all the things because anxiety affects it all.” We can make little changes in all these areas, and slowly, you get your life back. So, I hope this gives you a little bit of your sexual expression back, if I could put it into words. Maybe not expression, but just your relationship with your body and pleasure. I love you. Thank you for staying with me for this. This was brave work you're doing. You probably had cringey moments. Hopefully not. Again, none of this is weird, wrong, bad. This is all human stuff. So, finish up. Again, go check out the book. Her name is Emily Nagoski. I'll leave a link in the show notes. One day we'll get her on. But in the meantime, I'll hopefully just give you the science that she's so beautifully given us.
I'm so excited for our guest today who I know is going to change the way we deal with women's sexuality. I knew I had to have her on the podcast and get her message out to my Skinny Dippers, so she is joining me on this episode to share more about the work she is doing to change the conversation about sex for midlife women.Dr. Sonia Wright is a board-certified radiologist, a trained sexual counselor and a life coach (rumor has it, she has also worked in a sex toy store). Dr. Sonia is on a mission to help women embrace their sexuality as well as end the emotional pain and isolation associated with sexual difficulties. She believes wholeheartedly that all women deserve to experience pleasurable sexual intimacy. She joins me in this episode to talk about the work she does to empower women.In this episode, hear what Dr. Sonia is doing to help and empower as many women as possible to enjoy their midlife sexual experience. We talk about some of the problems women face in this area, dispel some myths and misconceptions, and she shares her advice to anybody who needs help in regards to their sex life (including sex toy recommendations!)Host: Dr. Keira BarrEditor: Abigail Cerquitella Are you ready to stop feeling shame and discomfort in your skin and start tapping into more pleasure? Do you want to reignite the confidence that's missing from your life? I'm here for you, Skinny Dippers! Click here to set up a 100% safe, non-judgmental strategy call together, and let's discuss how we can work together and how I can help you. I can't wait to talk to you!DISCLAIMERThis podcast is meant for educational and informational purposes only. Neither this podcast nor any information contained within it are a substitute for professional care by a doctor or other qualified medical professional. This podcast does not constitute medical or other professional advice or services. If you have a medical concern, please consult with your physician.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:The truth about libido, desire and arousal in midlifeThe importance of communicating your needs.How your changing body and desires are normal and ok and you are not broken.How to choose a sex toy.Why connection and relationship is so important for intimacy.Why there is so much identity tied up in sexuality for women (and men).Connect with Dr. KeiraCome hang out on Instagram with me!If you want to start feeling comfortable in your skin right away, take the free Skincare QuizCheck out Keira's websiteSign up for a free consultation.Grab a copy of my book, The Skin Whisperer.Connect with Dr. SoniaCheck out her WebsiteFollow on Facebook and InstagramMentioned in the episode: Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Dr. Lori Brotto
The latest evolution in pornography and erotica is virtual reality (VR), which is making adult content increasingly interactive. Most of the buzz about VR erotica involves taking solo masturbation to new heights. However, it can also be an innovative research method! VR is a way of simulating sex in a lab that can create a level of immersion you can't replicate with 2-D porn. But an even more tantalizing application of VR is in the world of sex therapy. In fact, the future of sex therapy could be all about virtual reality! VR just might be the educational tool we need that also provides a safe space for exploring our sexuality. For today's show, I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Columbia, practicing psychologist, and author of the books Better Sex Through Mindfulness and the all-new Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include: When scientists study sexual arousal, how do they decide what kind of porn or erotic content to show participants? Why might VR offer a more powerful way of studying arousal in a sex lab than traditional 2-D porn? How does VR impact feelings of "presence" and sexual arousal over and above 2-D porn? How might VR erotica be helpful for treating sexual difficulties? And what kinds of difficulties might this technology be helpful for? What is the future of VR in sex research and therapy? Check it out! To learn more about Lori, visit loribrotto.com and brottolab.com, follow @drloribrotto on IG, and be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, the Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2250-lehmiller Get hard for the holidays with FirmTech! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr. Lori Brotto is the author of the 2018 book 'Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire'. This year she published a companion piece, a workbook that provides strategies that women (and men!) can use. Kathryn and Eric speak with Dr. Brotto about the new workbook, sex in relationships, and how the stigma around sex research has changed over the past few decades. For links to books and to download meditations: www.loribrotto.com For information about the research: www.brottolab.com Dr. Brotto often posts about sexual health research on Twitter @DrLoriBrotto
Low sexual desire is one of the most common sexual problems out there, but it's something that has been notoriously difficult to treat pharmacologically. The search for a pill that can produce desire out of thin air has been elusive, and that's because desire is very complex. So we need to look elsewhere for answers. One research-backed solution that has a lot of demonstrated success at both increasing sexual desire and dealing with other sexual difficulties is changing your headspace through mindfulness practices. In today's episode, we're going to discuss what mindfulness is, how it works, who it's for, and practical tips for incorporating it into your sex life. I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Columbia, a practicing psychologist, and author of the books Better Sex Through Mindfulness and the all-new Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does the term "mindfulness" really mean? How can mindfulness lead to more satisfying sex, and what's the evidence for its effectiveness? How can practicing mindful eating help you to become more mindful in the bedroom? How do you learn to be mindful if you're someone who has a very difficult time getting out of your head? How can fantasy and mindfulness work together to elicit arousal? How can romantic partners practice mindfulness together? How can mindfulness augment other treatments for sexual difficulties? Check it out! To learn more about Lori, visit loribrotto.com and brottolab.com, follow @drloribrotto on IG, and be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, the Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2248-lehmiller FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-sex-anal-foreplay-couples In this guided sex episode, our narrator takes you and your partner through an anal foreplay session designed to help bring you closer together and explore new heights of pleasure with intimate anal foreplay. Exploring anal play with your partner can be a fun and exciting act of foreplay, which may just lead to better, more satisfying sex. In this anal play guide, Sophia leads you and your partner on an intimate erotic journey through all kinds of anal sensations. This episode is designed so that anyone, male or female, can be on the recieving end of anal pleasure.
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-sex-anal-foreplay-couples
Podcast Take The Quiz Behind the Consultant Program Meet Our Holistic Wealth Trailblazers Our Courses Become A Certified Holistic Wealth™ … Better Sex Through Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto Read More » The post Better Sex Through Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto appeared first on Institute On Holistic Wealth.
In this exciting episode of the Holistic Wealth podcast with Keisha Blair, our guest is Dr. Lori Brotto. Dr. Brotto shares advice and tips on how to have better sex through mindfulness. Sexual health and well-being are part of our physical, mental and emotional health and are therefore important to holistic wealth. As a matter of fact, there are very practical ways of integrating your sex and relationship goals as part of your overall holistic wealth. Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, where she holds a Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health. She is also the Executive Director for the Women's Health Research Institute—one of only three institutes in Canada devoted to advancing research in women's health, and maintains an active practice as a Registered Psychologist. Dr. Brotto was recently featured in the Netflix series The Principles of Pleasure and is the author of Better Sex through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire and the forthcoming The Better Sex through Mindfulness Workbook: A Guide to Cultivating Desire. Through her numerous treatment studies, Dr. Brotto has taught women how to practice the present moment, and non-judgmental awareness to cultivate desire and sexual satisfaction. Mindfulness meditation trains the brain to stay in the here and now, and not get trapped in the allure of distractions and negative self-judgment. Skills such as mindfulness teach the brain to connect more completely with the body, allowing the practitioner to experience all of the sensations of sex. In this podcast episode, we will discuss several reasons for sexual problems such as stress, multi-tasking, and previous trauma as well as long-standing myths about sexuality such as sexual desire should be spontaneous. walk you through effective strategies to make your sexual health an important part of your overall holistic wealth. In the NEW Holistic Wealth Expanded and Updated: 36 Life Lessons To Help You Recover From Disruption, Find Your Life Purpose and Achieve Financial Freedom, there are many strategies throughout to help you master the “Art of Recovery From Disruption”. Tune in to listen to this episode of the Holistic wealth podcast with Keisha Blair. Resources Mentioned In This Episode: Holistic Wealth Expanded and Updated: 36 Life Lessons To Help You Recover From Disruption, Find Your Life Purpose and Achieve Financial Freedom. By Keisha Blair Better Sex through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire By Dr. Lori Brotto --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keisha-blair/support
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/oral-guide-penis In this guided oral sex story, a narrator guides you and a partner through oral sex for men (blowjobs, rimming, and more!) A guided sex track intended for couples to learn about how to better please their penis-having partners during oral sex.
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/oral-guide-penis
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/touch-yourselves-for-me In this NSFW audio, fan-favorite narrator Alice will guide you in masturbating with your partner, watching each other get aroused, and seducing your partner. If you like JOI, erotic audios, and voyeurism, listen to this sexy roleplay! This guided sex track will guide couples in masturbating together and gaining pleasure from watching each other please themselves. Allow you and your partner to be guided on how and when to touch yourselves as an engaging foreplay session.
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/touch-yourselves-for-me
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-edging-experts In this masturbation guide, hunky American narrator Joel teaches you how to edge yourself over and over again. Can you last until the end of this toe-curling session? If you can't, you'll have to start over. Join fan-favorite narrator Joel in this intimate and exciting edging guide for experts. Are you new to edging? Check out our "Edging for Beginners" guide before challenging yourself with this one. Can you hold out until the end? If not...you'll have to start over.
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-edging-experts
Do you want tips for a stronger erection and better arousal? In this episode, urologist, podcaster, and author, Dr. Kelly Casperson reveals some of her most effective tips for you to apply right away. Pulling from the female perspective and sexuality, Kelly has some of the most well-rounded strategies for a healthy sex life I've ever come across. As the author of the book and podcast, You Are Not Broken, Kelly wants people to understand their sexuality and how to have better sex lives by dispelling myths and educating people on “real” sex. Sit back, relax, and dive into today's topic with Dr. Casperson and me: The Complex Mix of Biology, Psychology, and Social Factors That Influence Sexual Desire. [00:00 - 06:29] How to Get Better Erection and Arousal from Female Perspective • Get to know Dr. Kelly Casper and her esteemed background and passions. • A sneak peek into her ground-breaking podcast, You Are Not Broken. • Building an unbiased perspective of sex in a male-dominated practice. • Tackling the problem of lack of education in the area of sex. [06:30 - 13:49] What Sex Education Needs and How to Improve • How the female experience of arousal differs from men. • Similarities in male and female sexual functions. • Understanding women's priority when determining if this sex is worth having. • Focusing on the present moment during sex - https://www.amazon.com/Better-Sex-Through-Mindfulness-Cultivate/dp/1771642351 (Better Sex Through Mindfulness). • The new adult sex education movement of normalizing body part visibility. [13:50 - 22:43] When Desire Kicks In - Spontaneous and Reactive/Responsive Desire • Defining and differentiating spontaneous vs. responsive desire. • Reasons for low desire and how society exasperates the issue. • Desire can happen after the fact; it doesn't have to be before to enjoy sex. • Keeping things fresh to combat the natural boredom of partnership. • Reasons for low desire. - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8382213/pdf/10508_2021_Article_2100.pdf (Heteronormativity Theory) • A quick word from our sponsor https://www.clickfunnels.com/?aff_sub=domain_redirect&utm_campaign=domain_redirect (The Modern Man Club) [22:44 - 32:18] Sex is More Complicated Than You Might Think, but Worth Exploring • Dispelling the myth of “Libido.” • Sex is not as natural and simple as we think it is. It takes prioritizing. • “You DO [have time for sex]; you're just choosing not to prioritize it. Which, no judgment, just good to know.” - Dr. Kelly Casperson • An intro to Biopsychosocial aspects of sex. • How Dr. Casperon's book, https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Broken-Should-ing/dp/1544524358 (You are Not Broken), dives deeper into these topics. [32:19 - 39:18] How to Navigate Menopause for Women and Men • Women are curious, but we lack education on the matter. • A look inside what is actually happening in the body that you can't see. • Why it's important to see the penis as a pump. [39:19 - 44:40] Enjoy the Process, Don't Endure it • How to find more resources and connect with Dr. Casperson. • All resources are beneficial for both men and women. • https://www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership (You Are Not Broke, Premium Membership). • Remember to enjoy the journey. Quotes: “For women, when we try to figure out sex worth having, it's [about] prioritizing her interest, her arousal, both in the brain and the pelvis to have sex worth desiring.” - Dr. Kelly Casperson “Dropping into the body is about becoming aware of the present moment… Our brains love to think about the past, and they love to think about the future. Orgasms don't happen in the past or the future; they happen in the present moment.” - Dr. Kelly Casperson “Sex is not something you need to survive… If you want sex to be a part of your life, you need to prioritize it, and not sit around waiting for a wave of...
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-edging-for-beginners In this erotic guided masturbation, you learn the art of orgasm control. Edging yourself to the brink of climax and then backing off can make the eventual explosion so much better. This story supports syncing to your Lovense toy, vibration starts at 5:18. The act of bringing yourself close to climax and then easing off...only to bring yourself right back up to the edge...it can be exhilerating. Not only that, but it can also help you get to know your body and even have more control over your orgasms. Are you a beginner? No worries - this entry-level guide will help!
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-edging-for-beginners
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/bathtub-orgasms This story supports syncing to your Lovense toy, vibration starts at 21:48. Pleasure can be an important part of self care - and when you have a busy schedule, sometimes the bath or shower is the place where we're most likely to indulge in sensual pleasure. Enjoy a guided masturbation narrated by fan-favorite voice Joel as he guides you to a wet, soapy climax. In this guided masturbation, a smooth-talking voice leads you to new heights of pleasure in the bathtub or shower.
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/bathtub-orgasms
Do you want to take away the guess work of perimenopause and menopause, save yourself time and energy and ditch the shame? Working with me you learn what's happening to you physically, mentally and emotionally, why and what you can do about it. Go to stellarwomen.com.au/stellar-circle/ to find out more.Sitting down to chat with Dr Kelly Casperson, to talk about sex and sexual health for women, was an absolute privilege. And a conversation followed that was informative, fun and cracked wide open topics like low desire, body image and shame. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.Dr. Casperson is an American board-certified practicing urologist with an interest in the power of the mind and science, to change our views of sexuality. After many years in practice she had a life changing patient that made her curious to learn everything she could about female sexual wellness. And today she has a popular podcast and newly released book, both called "You're Not Broken."Connect with Kelly here:Kelly on InstagramYou Are Not Broken the podcastYou Are Not Broken the bookWebsiteYouTubeWe talked about:You Are Not Broken Premium MembershipBecoming Cliterate (book)A new sexual revolution for orgasm equality | Laurie Mintz | TEDxThe Sweetness of Venus (book)Better Sex Through Mindfulness (book)Michael Singer (author)Where to find Sonya:InstagramFacebookTake the Midlife QuizStellar Women WebsiteThank you for listening to my show! Join the fun on InstagramTake the Midlife QuizStellar Women Website
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-body-talk/ Welcome to the Guided Masturbation series. This week, you're going to listen to your body talk. Your body wants to tell you want it craves, what it desires...all you have to do is listen. Getting in touch with your physical desires is easier than you think - a calm environment and an open mind will lead you to listening to your body as Julia guides you through a sensual self care session. This week, you're going to listen to your body talk. Your body wants to tell you want it craves, what it desires...all you have to do is listen. Getting in touch with your physical desires is easier than you think - a calm environment and an open mind will lead you to listening to your body as Julia guides you through a sensual self care session. You will enjoy this guided masturbation podcast if you are looking for sex meditation, meditation and sex, tantric sex meditation, sex and meditation, meditation for sex, sex meditation music, meditation sex, sex meditation guided, sex meditation audio, guided meditation sex, meditation for better sex, sex chakra meditation, meditation sex wizard, tantric sex for men: making love a meditation, guided sex meditation, osho sex meditation, orgasmic meditation sex, meditation sex wizard 3d, guided sex meditation audio, osho meditation sex, meditation during sex, sex addiction meditation, meditation sex megamisama, meditation one by one tantra tantric sex, meditation before sex, meditation, meditation music, transcendental meditation, guided meditation, sleep meditation, mindfulness meditation, meditation for sleep, meditation for anxiety, meditation benefits, meditation music youtube, morning meditation, benefits of meditation, meditation music for sleep, meditation pillow, meditation 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Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-body-talk/
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/body-talk-lower-body/ In this guided masturbation episode, fan-favorite narrator Julia instructs you on how to touch your body. Paying attention to the different sensations you feel during sex and masturbation can help you achieve a higher level of pleasure. In our latest "Body Talk" guided masturbation episode, we focus on delicate sensations above the waist. Fan-favorite narrator Julia instructs you on self-touch for the upper body and how to unlock more ways of feeling pleasure during your time alone. You will enjoy this guided masturbation podcast if you are looking for sex meditation, meditation and sex, tantric sex meditation, sex and meditation, meditation for sex, sex meditation music, meditation sex, sex meditation guided, sex meditation audio, guided meditation sex, meditation for better sex, sex chakra meditation, meditation sex wizard, tantric sex for men: making love a meditation, guided sex meditation, osho sex meditation, orgasmic meditation sex, meditation sex wizard 3d, guided sex meditation audio, osho meditation sex, meditation during sex, sex addiction meditation, meditation sex megamisama, meditation one by one tantra tantric sex, meditation before sex, meditation, meditation music, transcendental meditation, guided meditation, sleep meditation, mindfulness meditation, meditation for sleep, meditation for anxiety, meditation benefits, meditation music youtube, morning meditation, benefits of meditation, meditation music for sleep, meditation pillow, meditation 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Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-body-talk-upper-body/
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/body-talk-lower-body/
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-body-talk-upper-body In this guided masturbation audio, you can focus on the parts of your body that often get overlooked during sex and masturbation: your upper body. Delicate touches, sensual squeezes and more await you in this intimate masturbation guide. In this guided masturbation audio, you can focus on the parts of your body that often get overlooked during sex and masturbation: your upper body. Delicate touches, sensual squeezes and more await you in this intimate masturbation guide. You will enjoy this guided masturbation podcast if you are looking for sex meditation, meditation and sex, tantric sex meditation, sex and meditation, meditation for sex, sex meditation music, meditation sex, sex meditation guided, sex meditation audio, guided meditation sex, meditation for better sex, sex chakra meditation, meditation sex wizard, tantric sex for men: making love a meditation, guided sex meditation, osho sex meditation, orgasmic meditation sex, meditation sex wizard 3d, guided sex meditation audio, osho meditation sex, meditation during sex, sex addiction meditation, meditation sex megamisama, meditation one by one tantra tantric sex, meditation before sex, meditation, meditation music, transcendental meditation, guided meditation, sleep meditation, mindfulness meditation, meditation for sleep, meditation for anxiety, meditation benefits, meditation music youtube, morning meditation, benefits of meditation, meditation music for sleep, meditation pillow, meditation 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Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-mind-games In this erotic audio masturbation guide, fan-favorite narrator Susan takes you on a journey of sexual exploration and mind games. Explore your deepest desires on Audiodesires.com! Continuing with our Guided Masturbation series, Susan takes you on a sensual journey of self-exploration and mind games in this audio story. This episode will help you focus on your fantasies and your imagination to help you explore and express your deepest desires. A calm environment and an open mind will lead you to new pleasures with this sexy self care session. You will enjoy this guided masturbation podcast if you are looking for sex meditation, meditation and sex, tantric sex meditation, sex and meditation, meditation for sex, sex meditation music, meditation sex, sex meditation guided, sex meditation audio, guided meditation sex, meditation for better sex, sex chakra meditation, meditation sex wizard, tantric sex for men: making love a meditation, guided sex meditation, osho sex meditation, orgasmic meditation sex, meditation sex wizard 3d, guided sex meditation audio, osho meditation sex, meditation during sex, sex addiction meditation, meditation sex megamisama, meditation one by one tantra tantric sex, meditation before sex, meditation, meditation music, transcendental meditation, guided meditation, sleep meditation, mindfulness meditation, meditation for sleep, meditation for anxiety, meditation benefits, meditation music youtube, morning meditation, benefits of meditation, meditation music for sleep, meditation pillow, meditation 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Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guided-masturbation-mind-games
Perinatal Wellbeing - The Podcast about Prenatal, Pregnancy & Postpartum Health
Date: May 11th, 2022Content Warning: This episode contains discussions around sexuality including our body parts and sexual acts. We do use gendered language in this discussion and acknowledge that not all birthing people identify as female. If you listen to your podcasts with young kids in the room you can decide if you want to put headphones in or listen another time. Today we're going to talk about postpartum sexuality with our guest soon to be Dr. Benée Justice! Benée is a clinical mental health therapist with a PhD in clinical sexology. Benée recently defended her dissertation on Postpartum Sexuality and created an incredible curriculum for use by mental health therapists to address postpartum sexuality. In today's episode we discuss the changes in our body postpartum, fears and concerns that might come up because of these changes, how shame and guilt can impact us when we are experiencing low desire and trying to determine our readiness for sexual activity postpartum. And then Benée shares with us how we can explore our sexuality in the postpartum period and some very important things such as communicating with your partner and consent. Highlights:5:09 – Postpartum Sexuality as a sacred topic, grounding into this topic7:42 – Sex in the Postpartum11:07 – Layers of sexuality 12:07 – Why does sexual health get pushed aside?14:16 – Our fears around resuming sex after birth14:45 – Our bodies have changed postpartum, concerns around body image postpartum16:55 – Physiological healing18:46 – 6 week check-up, discussing sex with our health care providers20:27 – Lack of desire for sex22:55 – Being disconnected from our bodies, relearning our bodies28:53 – Can moms be sexy?33:49 – Determining our readiness for sex postpartum 39:08 – Resuming sexual activity and defining sex45:35 – Consent47:10 – “It is our partner's responsibility to take ownership of their sexual needs being fulfilled”, masturbation47:50 – Communication49:38 – Let's talk about orgasm 52:04 – Ideas for communication and ideas for intimacy 57:22 – Shutting down intimacy because of fear of intercourse58:45 – Consent in an intimate relationship1:03:00 – Benée's suggestions for communicating wants and needs1:08:26 – Different supports such as a sex therapist1:10:08 – Gaps in services for postpartum sexuality1:18:15 – Our sexual health is intertwined with our overall health, 6 week “green light”1:19:22 – Resources that Benée recommendsResources: You can contact Benée at bjustice.integrity@gmail.comBooks that Benée and Christine recommend:Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori A. Brotto, Ph.D.The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee TaylorThe Body is Not an Apology Workbook by Sonya Renee TaylorAASECT directory looking for Sex Therapistshttps://www.aasect.org/referral-directory You can find us at www.perinatalwellbeing.ca on Instagram @perinatalwellbeing_ontario or by email info@perinatalwellbeing.ca
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guide-you-and-your-vibrator In this guided sex episode, you get to know your favorite vibrator a little better. Playing with sex toys is fun - even more fun with a hunky British voice is telling you how to use it! Another day, another guide - this time, it's for you and your vibe! Vibrators and other sex toys can be a little intimidating if you're looking to try something new - so this new Guides series on sex toys will help you become confident using them first by yourself before trying them with a partner. 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Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/guide-you-and-your-vibrator
Masturbation & Sex Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/erotic-massage-her/ Do you like sexy massages? In this NSFW audio, learn how to give your female partner a sensual erotic massage with our guided sex track. Whether you're lesbian, straight, trans, any of the above, treat her to a massage that will give her pleasure and relaxation. And if you want a happy ending, be sure to check out the rest of the Audiodesires library for audio porn and erotic audiobooks! Want to give your partner something she'll really appreciate? This guided sex track will talk you through giving a slow, sensual erotic massage that will bring her pleasure and relaxation. For this episode, you will need massage oil, lubricant, or lotion.
Sex & Masturbation Guides - Guided Meditation for Mindful Sex 💖
Listen to the full guide: https://audiodesires.com/story/erotic-massage-her/ ❤️
SUMMARY: This episode addresses some common questions people have about anxiety and arousal. Oftentimes, we are too afraid to talk about anxiety and arousal, so I thought I would take this opportunity to address some of the questions you may have and take some of the stigma and shame out of discussing anxiety and how it impacts arousal, orgasm, intimacy, and sexual interactions. In This Episode: How anxiety and arousal impact each other (its a cycle) Arousal Non-Concordance and how it impacts people with anxiety and OCD How to take the shame out of arousal struggles Understanding why anxiety impacts orgasms and general intimacy Links To Things I Talk About: Article I wrote about OCD and Arousal Non-Concordance https://www.madeofmillions.com/articles/whats-going-ocd-arousal Come as You are By Emily Nagoski, PhD Come as You Are Workbook By Emily Nagoski, PhD ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 281. Welcome back, everybody. How are you? It is a beautiful sunny day here in California. We're actually in the middle of a heatwave. It is April when I'm recording this and it is crazy how hard it is, but I'm totally here for it. I'm liking it because I love summer. Talking about heat, let's talk about anxiety and arousal today. Shall we? Did you get that little pun? I'm just kidding really. Today, we're talking about anxiety and arousal. I don't know why, but lately, I'm in the mood to talk about things that no one really wants to talk about or that we all want to talk about and we're too afraid to talk about. I'm just going to go there. For some reason, I'm having this strong urge with the podcast to just talk about the things that I feel we're not talking about enough. And several of my clients actually were asking like, “What resources do you have?” And I have a lot of books and things that I can give people. I was like, “All right, I'm going to talk about it more.” So, let's do it together. Before we do that, let's quickly do the review of the week. This one is from, let's see, Jessrabon621. They said: “Amazing podcast. I absolutely love everything about this podcast. I could listen to Kimberley talk all day and her advice is absolutely amazing. I highly recommend this podcast to anyone struggling with anxiety or any other mental health professional that wants to learn more.” Thank you so much, Jess. This week's “I did a hard thing” is from Anonymous and they say: “I learned it's okay to fulfill my emotions and just allow my thoughts and it gave me a sense of peace. Learning self-compassion is my hard thing and I'm learning to face OCD and realize that it's not my fault. I'm learning to manage and live my life for me like I deserve, and I refuse to let this take away my happiness.” This is just so good. I talk about heat. This is seriously on fire right here. I love it so much. The truth is self-compassion practice is probably my hard thing too. I think that me really learning how to stand up for myself, be there for myself, be tender with myself was just as hard as my eating disorder recovery and my anxiety recovery. I really appreciate Anonymous and how they've used self-compassion as their hard thing. Let's get into the episode. Let me preface the episode by we're talking about anxiety and arousal. If I could have one person on the podcast, it would be Emily Nagoski. I have been trying to get her on the podcast for a while. We will get her on eventually. However, she's off doing amazing things. Amazing things. Netflix specials, podcasts, documentaries. She's doing amazing things. So, hopefully, one day. But until then, I want to really highlight her as the genius behind a lot of these concepts. Emily Nagoski is a doctor, a psychology doctor. She is a sex educator. She has written two amazing books. Well, actually, three or four. But the one I'm referring to today is Come as You Are. It's an amazing book. But I'm actually in my hand holding the Come as You Are Workbook. I strongly encourage you after you listen to this podcast episode to go and order that book. It is amazing. It's got tons of activities. It might feel weird to have the book. You can get it on Kindle if you want to have it be hidden, but it's so filled with amazing information. I'm going to try and give you the pieces that I really want you to take away. If you want more, by all means, go and get the workbook. The workbook is called The Come as You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Science of Sex. The reason I love it is because it's so helpful for those who have anxiety. It's like she's speaking directly to us. She's like, it's so helpful to have this context. Here's the thing I want you to consider starting off. A lot of people who have anxiety report struggles with arousal. We're going to talk about two different struggles that are the highlight of today. Either you have no arousal because of your anxiety, or you're having arousal at particular times that concern you and confuse you and alarm you. You could be one or both of those camps. So let's first talk about those who are struggling with arousal in terms of getting aroused. So the thing I want you to think about is commonly-- and this is true for any mental health issue too, it's true for depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, dissociative disorders, all of them really. But the thing I want you to remember, no matter who you are and what your experience is, even if you have a really healthy experience of your own sexual arousal and you're feeling fine about it, we all have what's called inhibitors and exciters. Here is an example. An inhibitor is something that inhibits your arousal. An exciter is something that excites your arousal. Now you're probably already feeling a ton of judgment here like, “I shouldn't be aroused by this and I should be aroused by this. What if I'm aroused by this? And I shouldn't be,” and so forth. I want us to take all the judgment out of this and just look at the content of what inhibits our arousal or excites our arousal. Because sometimes, and I'll talk about this more, sometimes it's for reasons that don't make a lot of sense and that's okay. Let's talk about an inhibitor, something that pumps the brakes on arousal or pleasure. It could be either. There's exciters, which are the things that really like the gas pedal. They just really bring on arousal, bring on pleasure, and so forth. We have the content. The content may be first mental or physical, and this includes your health, your physical health. For me, I know when I am struggling with POTS, arousal is just barely a thing. You're just so wiped out and you're so exhausted and your brain is foggy. It's just like nothing. That would be, in my case, an inhibitor. I'm not going to talk about myself a lot here, but I was just using that as an example. You might say your anxiety or your obsession is an inhibitor. It pumps the brakes on arousal. It makes it go away. Worry is one. It could also be other physical health, like headaches or tummy aches, or as we said before, depression. It could be hormone imbalances, things like that. It's all as important. Go and speak with your doctor. That's super important. Make sure medically everything checks out if you're noticing a dip or change in arousal that's concerning you. The next one in terms of content that may either excite you or inhibit you is your relationship. If your relationship is going well, you may or may not have an increase in arousal depending on what turns you on. If your partner smells of a certain smell or stench that you don't like, that may pump the brakes. But if they smell a certain way that you do really like and really is arousing to you, that may excite your arousal. It could also be the vibe of the relationship. A lot of people said at the beginning of COVID, there was a lot of fear. That was really, really strong on the brakes. But then all of a sudden, no one had anything to do and there was all this spare time. All of a sudden, the vibe is like, that's what's happening. Now, this could be true for people who are in any partnership or it could be just you on your own too. There are things that will excite you and inhibit your arousal if you're not in a relationship as well, and that's totally fine. This is for all relationships. There's no specific kind. Setting is another thing that may pump the brakes or hit the gas for arousal, meaning certain places, certain rooms, certain events. Did your partner do something that turned you on? Going back to physical, it could also depend on your menstrual cycle. People have different levels of arousal depending on different stages of their menstrual cycle. I think the same is true for men, but I don't actually have a lot of research on that, but I'm sure there are some hormonal impacts on men as well. There's also ludic factors which are like fantasy. Whether you have a really strong imagination, that either pumps the brakes or puts the gas pedal in terms of arousal. It could be like where you're being touched. Sometimes there's certain areas of your body that will set off either the gas pedal or the brakes. It could be certain foreplay. Really what I'm trying to get at here isn't breaking it down according to the workbook, but there's so many factors that may influence your arousal. Another one is environmental and cultural and shame. If arousal and the whole concept of sex is shamed or is looked down on, or people have a certain opinion about your sexual orientation, that too can impact your gas pedal and your brakes pedal. So, I want you to explore this, not from a place of pulling it apart really aggressively and critically, but really curiously and check in for yourself, what arouses me? What presses my brakes? What presses my gas? And just start to get to know that. Again, in the workbook, there's tons of worksheets for this, but you could also just consider this on your own. Write it down on your own, be aware over the next several days or weeks, just jot down in a journal what you're noticing. Now, before we move on, we've talked about a lot of people who are struggling with arousal, and they've got a lot of inhibitors and brake pushing. There are the other camp who have a lot of gas pedal pushing. I speak here directly to the folks who have sexual obsessions because often if you have sexual obsessions, the fact that your sexual obsession is sexual in nature may be what sets the gas pedal off, and all of a sudden, you have arousal for reasons that you don't understand, that don't make sense to you, or maybe go against your values. I've got a quote that I took from the book and from the workbook of Emily Nagoski. Again, none of this is my personal stuff. I'm quoting her and citing her throughout this whole podcast. She says, “Bodies do not say yes or no. They say sex-related or not sex-related.” Let me say it again. “Bodies do not say yes or no. They say sex-related or not sex-related.” This is where I want you to consider, and I've experienced this myself, is just because something arouses you doesn't mean it brings you pleasure. Main point. We've got to pull that apart. Culture has led us to believe that if you feel some groinal response to something, you must love it and want more of it. An example of this is for people with sexual obsessions, maybe they have OCD or some other anxiety disorder, and they have an intrusive thought about a baby or an animal. Bestiality is another very common obsession with OCD or could be just about a person. It could be just about a person that you see in the grocery store. When you have a thought that is sex-related, sometimes because the context of it is that it's sex-related, your body may get aroused. Our job, particularly if you have OCD, is not to try and figure out what that means. It's not to try and resolve like, does that mean I like it? Does that mean I'm a terrible person? What does that mean? I want you to understand the science here to help you understand your arousal, to help you understand how you can now shift your perspective towards your body and your mind and the pleasure that you experience in the area of sexuality. Again, the body doesn't say yes or no, they say it's either sex-related or not sex-related. Here's the funny thing, and I've done this experiment with my patients before, is if you look at a lamp post or it could be anything, you could look at the pencil you're holding and then you bring to mind a sexual experience, you may notice arousal. Again, it doesn't mean that you're now aroused by pencils or pens. It's that it was labeled as sex-related, so often your brain will naturally press the accelerator. That's often how I educate people, particularly who are having arousal that concerns it. It's the same for a lot of people who have sexual trauma. They maybe are really concerned about the fact that they do have arousal around a memory or something. And then that concerns them, what does that mean about me? And the thing to remember too is it's not your body saying yes or no, it's your body saying sex-related or not sex-related. It's important to just help remind yourself of that so that you're not responding to the content so much and getting caught up in the compulsive behaviors. A lot of my patients in the past have reported, particularly during times when they're stressed, their anxiety is really high, life is difficult, any of this content we went through, is they may actually have a hard time being aroused at all. Some people have reported not getting an erection and then it completely going for reasons they don't understand. I think here we want to practice again non-Judgment. Instead, move to curiosity. There's probably some content that impacted that, which is again, very, very, normal. this is why when I'm talking with patients – I've done episodes on this in the past, and we've in fact had sex therapists on the podcast in the past – is they've said, if you've lost arousal, it doesn't mean you give up. It doesn't mean you say, “Oh, well, that's that.” What you do is you move your attention to the content that pumps the gas. When I mean content, it's like touch, smell, the relationship, the vibe, being in touch with your body, bringing your attention to the dance that you're doing, whether it's with a partner or by yourself, or in whatever means that works for you. You can bring that back. There's another amazing book called Better Sex Through Mindfulness, and it talks a lot about bringing your attention to one or two sensations. Touch, smell being two really, really great ones. Again, if your goal is to be aroused, you might find it's very hard to be aroused because the context of that is pressure. I don't know about you, but I don't really find pressure arousing. Some may, and again, this is where I want this to be completely judgment-free. There's literally no right and wrong. But pressure is usually not that arousing. Pressure is not that pleasurable in many cases, particularly when it's forceful and it feels like you have to perform a certain way. Again, some people are at their best in performance mode, but I want to just remind you, the more pressure you put on yourself on this idea of ending it well is probably going to make some anxiety. Same with test anxiety. The more pressure you put on yourself to get an A, the more you're likely to spin out with anxiety. It's really no different. So, here is where I want you to catch and ask yourself, is the pressure I put on myself or is the agenda I put on myself actually pumping the brakes for me when it comes to arousal? Is me trying not to have a thought actually in the context of that, does that actually pump the brakes? Because I know you're trying not to have the thought so that you can be intimate in that moment and engaged in pleasure. But the act of trying not to have the thought can actually pump the brakes. I hope that makes sense. I want you to get really close to understanding what's going on for you. Everyone is different. Some things will pump the brakes, some things will pump the accelerator. A lot of the times, thought suppression pumps the brakes. A lot of the times, beating yourself up pumps the brakes. A lot of the time, the more goal, like I have to do it this way, that often pumps the brakes. So, keep an eye out for that. Engage in the exciters and get really mindful and present. A couple of things here. We've talked about erections, that's for people who struggle with that. It's also true for women or men with lubrication. Some people get really upset about the fact that there may or may not be a ton of lubrication. Again, we've been misled to believe that if you're not lubricated, you mustn't be aroused or that you mustn't want this thing, or that there must be something wrong with you, and that is entirely true. A lot of women, when we study them, they may be really engaged and their gas pedal is going for it, but there may be no lubrication. And it doesn't mean something is wrong. In those cases, often a sex therapist or a sex educator will encourage you to use lubrication, a lubricant. Again, some people, I've talked to clients and they're so ashamed of that. But I think it's important to recognize that that's just because somebody taught us that, and sadly, it's a lot to do with patriarchy and that it was pushed on women in particular that that meant they're like a good woman if they're really lubricated. And that's not true. That's just fake, false. No science. It has no basis in reality. Now we've talked about lubrication. We've talked about erection. Same for orgasm. Some people get really frustrated and disheartened that they can't reach orgasm. If for any reason you are struggling with this, please, I urge you, go and see a sex therapist. They are the most highly trained therapists. They are so sensitive and compassionate. They can talk with you about this and you can target the specific things you want to work on. But orgasm is another one. If you put pressure on yourself to get there, that pumps the brakes often. What I want you to do, and this is your homework, is don't focus on arousal. Focus on pleasure. Focus on the thing that-- again, it's really about being in connection with your partner or yourself. As soon as you put a list of to-dos with it is often when things go wrong. Just focus on being present as much as you can, and in the moment being aware of, ooh, move towards the exciters, the gas pedal things. Move away from the inhibitors. Be careful there. Again, for those of you who have anxiety, that doesn't mean thought suppress. That doesn't mean judge your thoughts because that in and of itself is an inhibitor often. I want to leave you with that. I'm going to in the future do a whole nother episode about talking more about this idea of arousal non-concordance, which is that quote I use like “The bodies don't say yes or no, they say sex-related or not sex-related.” I'll do more of that in the future. But for right now, I want it to be around you exploring your relationship with arousal, understanding it, but then putting your attention on pleasure. Being aware of both, being mindful of both. Most people I know that I've talked to about this-- and I'm not a sex therapist. Again, I'm getting all of this directly from the workbook, but most of the clients I've talked to about this and we've used some worksheets and so forth, they've said, when I put all the expectations away and I just focus on this touch and this body part and this smell and this kiss or this fantasy, or being really in touch with your own body, when I just make it as simple as that and I bring it down to just engaging in what feels good – sort of use it as like a north star. You just keep following. That feels good. Okay, that feels good. That doesn't feel so great. I'll move towards what feels good – is moving in that direction non-judgmentally and curiously that they've had the time of their lives. I really just want to give you that gift. Focus on pleasure. Focus on non-judgmentally and curiously, being aware of what's current and present in your senses. That's all I got for you for today. I think it's enough. Do we agree? I think it's enough. I could talk about this all day. To be honest, and I've said this so many times, if I had enough time, I would go back and I would become a sex therapist. It is a huge training. Sex therapists have the most intensive, extensive training and requirements. I would love to do it. But one day, I'll probably do it when I'm 70. And that will be awesome. I'll be down for that, for sure. I just love this content. Now, again, I want to be really clear. I'm not a sex therapist. I still have ones to learn. I still have. Even what we've covered today, there's probably nuanced things that I could probably explain better. Again, which is why I'm going to stress to you, go and check out the book. I'm just here to try and get you-- I was thinking about this. Remember, I just recently did the episode on the three-day silent retreat and I was sitting in a meditation. I remember this so clearly. I'm just going to tell you this quick story. I was thinking. For some reason, my mind was a little scattered this day and something came over with me where I was like, “Wouldn't it be wonderful if I didn't just treat anxiety disorders, but I treated the person and the many problems that are associated with the anxiety disorder? Isn't that a beautiful goal? Isn't that so? Because it's not just the anxiety, it's the little tiny areas in our lives that it impacts.” That's when I, out of me, as soon as I finished the meditation, I went on to my-- I have this organization board that I use online and it was arousal, let's talk about pee and poop, which is one episode we recently did. Let's talk about all the things because anxiety affects it all. We can make little changes in all these areas and little changes. Slowly, you get your life back. I hope this gives you a little bit of your sexual expression back, if I could put it into words. Maybe not expression, but just your relationship with your body and pleasure. I love you. Thank you for staying with me for this. This was brave work you're doing. You probably had cringy moments. Hopefully not. Again, none of this is weird, wrong, bad. This is all human stuff. Finish up, again, do check out the book. Her name is Emily Nagoski. I'll leave a link in the show notes. One day we'll get her on. But in the meantime, I'll hopefully just give you the science that she's so beautifully given us. Have a wonderful day. I'll talk to you soon. See you next week. Please do leave a review. It helps me so much. If you have a few moments, I would love a review, an honest review from you. Have a good day.
Alex and Shane chat about their March break, birthdays, Pam & Tommy, and a fun new game. Canadian psychologist and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness, Dr. Lori Brotto, debunks myths about sexual desire, explains how the impact of stress and motherhood impacts the libido, and how we can cultivate desire through mindfulness. Listener questions are answered in the mailbag segment, hitting topics like "biological clocks," orgasmic birth, Shane's 'stache, and handling toddler meltdowns! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This episode is proudly supported by: Tru Earth - save 10% off of Tru Earth's powerful, and eco-friendly products (the laundry detergent strips & surface cleaner are our favourites!) by using the promo code THISFAMILYTREE10 when you visit https://www.tru.earth/?utm_source=SOCIAL&utm_medium=PODCAST&utm_campaign=INFLUENCER&utm_term=ThisFamilyTreePodcast Mini Mioche - use promo code THISFAMILYTREE15 at www.minimioche.com for 15% off of your ethically made, organic, and sustainable kids' apparel. Bravado Designs - Use promo code THISFAMILYTREE20 for 20% off of what will become your favourite nursing bra at www.bravadodesigns.com, or try their new Everyday Collection (not nursing bras - no clips) at ca.bravadodesigns.com. Seedlip - Go to www.seedlipdrinks.com or www.seedlipdrinks.ca, and use promo code THISFAMILYTREE10 for 10% off the world's first nonalcoholic spirit!
Pamela Joy is a relationship and sex therapist. Pamela's former job in tech for a decade+ at Apple and Facebook was wonderful but after she found how interested she was in the sex therapy she was doing with her husband, she decided to pivot for she had found her thing.. This whole experience shocked her but she stayed open to this vision for herself and stayed curious. Pamela earned her masters degree in Holistic Counseling Psychology and is a certified Somatica Coach, Sex, and Relationship Coach (She studied there for 3 years and loved it.) It all started when her and her now ex-husband didn't have sex timeline alignment and sought help. What she found was a lot of clarity and a new career. From the research that she conducted while at John F. Kennedy University [a cool process to hear her speak about], she delivered an incredible Ted Talk. This is how Mel found Pamela. Pamela suggests and explains how mindfulness and staying present is the key to more intimacy with life in general. In this episode, Pamela teaches us some tools for how to claim your energy (See our Youtube link - will be here soon), some great tools for finding what turns you on, and good tips if you think this might also be your thing. She offers a very intersting video series for $30 on her site that are titled "The Art of Getting Turned On." Pamela also has the best laugh! Try using Overdrive to read for free. All you need is a library card! Write down and download all the book recommendations in this podcast for continued listening and exploration of this topic. Also head over to melrosemoney for the financial blog on this topic as well. Blog post numbers align with Podcast episode number. Pamela suggested a few books. Come As You Are, and Better Sex Through Mindfulness. The link to her book resources page where you can find books by topic is here.
In this episode, I speak with Dr. Lori Brotto (@ubcshr), Registered Psychologist, Professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of British Columbia, Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute, leading international expert on the topic of sexuality, & author of the powerful book "Better Sex Through Mindfulness" (https://greystonebooks.com/products/better-sex-through-mindfulness). Dr. Brotto conducts research on women's sexual health & difficulties, develops & tests mindfulness-based & psychoeducational interventions for women with sexual desire & arousal complaints, & studies many aspects of sexual health including: culture & sexuality, hormones & sexual desire, cancer & sexuality, concerns about HPV & sexuality, asexuality, & more. In this episode, Dr. Brotto highlights how essential satisfying & embodied sexual lives are to our overall health & general quality of life, not just our sexual health & well-being. She explains what mindfulness means as it applies to sexual well-being & why it is such an optimal tool for promoting "magnificent sex" that involves full aliveness, presence, empowerment, attunement & connection. She highlights important research regarding the multitude of influences that contribute to sexual desire, arousal & response, debunking common myths & emphasizing the importance of understanding what turns us on sexually. She also shares tips about how to compassionately embark upon this exploration when we find it challenging, especially when it comes to the messaging we've internalized related to sex, memories of unpleasant sexual experiences, & high emotional charge around sex due to trauma or other life experiences. We also discuss the benefits of mindfulness-based tools compared to other interventions for low sexual desire (e.g., medicines & cognitive behavioral strategies). We conclude with Dr. Brotto describing two powerful evidence-based mindfulness practices from her new workbook: 1) a "sexual sensations awareness" practice that promotes alignment of physical & mental arousal, and 2) "mindfulness of difficulty" which helps us bring a spirit of compassion & openness to the range of experiences both sexually & beyond. To connect more with Dr. Foynes: Check out the free 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series 1:1 Coaching Program: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program Follow @drfoynes on Instagram. More about Dr. Lori Brotto: Dr. Brotto received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of British Columbia. She also trained at the University of Washington where she completed a one-year internship in the Department of Psychiatry followed by a two-year Postdoctoral Fellowship in Reproductive and Sexual Medicine. Dr. Brotto is a member of the International Academy of Sex Research, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, the Canadian Sex Research Forum, and the Canadian Psychological Association. She has published over 200 articles & book chapters, has given >300 invited presentations, & is frequently contacted by the media as a guest expert on the topic of sexuality. She was a member of the DSM-5 workgroup on Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders published in May 2013. She was a health expert writer for the Globe and Mail, where she wrote a monthly column focused on sexuality. Her book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness is a scientifically-informed translation of her research on mindfulness to improve women's sexuality. She is working on her second book with self-guided mindfulness practices, with an anticipated release date in 2022. To follow Dr. Brotto please find her at www.brottolab.com, on Twitter (@DrLoriBrotto @UBCSHL @womensresearch), Instagram (@ubcshr @womensresearch) & Facebook (ubcshl). Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, and is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Today in this Birds and Bees Collaboration with Sex Therapy 101 is covering Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori Brotto This is the perfect supplement to the last episode about Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. Braxton and Cami discuss what supports come from the book. They give their insights as sex therapists and how they encourage their clients to implement these practices. They explore what mindful practices are supportive and simple methods of implementing them. They give the book a rating and let listeners know what book this pairs well with.
In this final interview of Season 2 we dive deep with the always gracious, Dr. Lori Brotto, because sometimes, we have to talk about having better sex. Solutions for women with low sexual desire are few and far between. Unlike men, the 'little pink pill' is not a game-changer. Dr. Brotto has spent her career investigating ways to help women achieve better sex lives using non-pharmaceutical interventions. Her research in mindfulness has been ground breaking for women everywhere (and for some men, too). She didn't stop there, however. Her research is accessible to all, her knowledge translates well into book format, and she spearheads the Women's Health Institute of BC, home to all research conducted at BC Women's Hospital. About Dr. BrottoDr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC located at BC Women's Hospital. Dr Brotto holds a Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health. she is the director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory where research primarily focuses on developing and testing psychological and mindfulness-based interventions for women with sexual desire and arousal difficulties, and women with chronic genital pain. Dr. Brotto is an Associate Editor for the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, has more than 170 peer-reviewed publications, and is frequently featured in the media on topics related to sexuality. Her book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire (2018) is a trade book of her research demonstrating the benefits of mindfulness for women's sexual concerns. She is a strong advocate for empowering women to take on leadership roles. Find Dr. Brotto at www.brottolab.com, on Social Media @DrLoriBrotto, @UBCshr, @womensresearch. Find her book, "Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Cultivate Desire" HERE. Don't forget to check out #debunkingdesire! Discover Small Conversations on Social MediaInstagramFacebookTwitterFind Susannah Steers at www.movingspirit.ca and on social media @themovingspirit.Find Gillian McCormick at https://physiogillian.com/ and on social media @physiogillian
Tune in for the second episode of the sexiest book club in the west! Braxton Dutson and Cami Hurst review Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori Brotto. Hear two experts review one of the most acclaimed books about sexual wellness in this week's episode!
Zach and Laura discuss a recent video they created with Vanity Fair. Check it out, it's a really fun look at relationships in Disney films. They then welcome a guest, Dr. Lori Brotto. They discuss Dr. Brotto's latest book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire and other related topics. If you're looking for help try Better Help today by visiting https://trybetterhelp.com/mtr
These are unprecedented times. Much of the world is currently living under lockdown conditions and practicing social distancing in order to curb the spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus. So how is this affecting people's intimate lives? How are our sex lives and relationships holding up, and is there anything we can do to more effectively navigate this complex and challenging situation? For the answers to these questions, I spoke to Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Columbia, a practicing psychologist, and author of the book Better Sex Through Mindfulness. I asked Dr. Brotto what she has been seeing in her clinical practice since the pandemic began and how it's different from usual. According to Brotto, some of her clients are reporting more avoidance-related reasons for sex at the moment, meaning they're more likely to report having sex in order to avoid a negative outcome rather than doing it because it's what they truly want. Listen to the podcast to find out why that is. We also address the following questions: What are some effective coping strategies for relieving stress and anxiety in order to pave the way for a more active and fulfilling intimate life during this challenging time? How do you successfully navigate singlehood in the era of social distancing? Some people under lockdown are in abusive or unhealthy relationships. How can they stay safe and find the help they need? What are the potential silver linings of this situation? How can we utilize this time to explore our sexuality and develop a new intimacy with our partners? Enjoy, and be sure to check out Dr. Brotto's latest book Better Sex Through Mindfulness! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.
Today's podcast is “for anyone who has a vagina or vulva or who is vagina-vulva-adjacent.” Dr. Jen Gunter is an OB/GYN, pain medicine physician, a fierce advocate for women’s health and author of The Vagina Bible- currently the #1 non-fiction book on the Canadian bestsellers list. Dr. Gunter has been called Twitter's resident gynecologist, the Internet's OB/GYN, and has been actively taking down snake oil by combining science and clinical experience. Today we discuss her latest book- The Vagina Bible- and bring to light the things you need to know about women's health. Show Notes: 0:00 – Who is Dr. Jen Gunter? 3:10 – We dive right in and discuss the patriarchal shame that has driven the idea that vagina’s need to be cleansed. FYI they do not. It is a self-cleaning oven. 7:30 – What about the use of cleansers? Can you and should you change the pH of your vagina? 10:50 – We discuss PMS and PMDD 13:00 – How common are yeast infections and how to best prevent them? 16:00 – Are there health risks with removing pubic hair? 23:00 – We talk about libido issues, causes and solutions - Better Sex Through Mindfulness, by Dr. Lori Brotto 26:30 – A quick discussion about chronic pain and habit formation 28:00 – The Illusory Truth Effect 31:00 – We talk forms of contraception and why condoms are the best for vaginal health 33:55 – Another quick hit on recurrent yeast infections 36:15 – What are the must-haves for your vaginal-vulvar health regimens? 38:15 – The Top 3 red flags to look for in women’s health articles that you should avoid. 40:50 – Dain tee’s Dr. Gunter up to peddle her book and she shows her selflessness! But our book recommendation here is clear: - The Vagina Bible, by Dr. Jen Gunter “For anyone who has a vagina or vulva or who is vagina-vulva-adjacent.” 41:50 – Dr. Gunter’s non-negotiable self-care tool: Exercise. 43:10 – Dr. Gunter’s one piece of advice for your health. 44:50 – Where you can find Dr. Gunter and buy The Vagina Bible! More about The Vagina Bible: The Vagina Bible was released in Canada on August 20 and by August 21st was on the Toronto Star best seller list! Starred review From Publisher’s Weekly: Empowerment of women through accurate information about their own bodies is the “vagenda” of ob-gyn and New York Times columnist Gunter’s comprehensive, pseudoscience-bashing discussion of all things vaginal and vulvar. Gunter begins with anatomy (including information for trans men with vulvas and trans women with vaginoplasties) and continues with some basic sex ed, focusing on female arousal while debunking the G-spot. Mixing medical background with simple, practical advice, Gunter covers health concerns she often encounters in her own practice, such as sexually transmitted infections, and the basic functions of the vulva and vagina at specific times of life—menstruation, pregnancy and birth, and menopause. Gunter is at her most vehement when advising her readers to leave healthy vaginas alone, reassuring them that yearly pelvic exams are not necessary, while also taking on non evidence-based “natural” practices like vaginal steaming and Internet-propagated misinformation in general. Most valuably, she uses her expertise to clearly describe what to expect during healthcare sessions, giving excellent advice about effectively communicating with medical professionals. Gunter approachably, respectfully, and even playfully presents a huge amount of reproductive and sexual health education information to women, with the assurance that they can use it.– PW In the United States order online at these fine retailers: Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Hudson, BAM, Indiebound And the audio version (read by Dr. Gunter herself) from High Bridge Audio, order via this link In Canada you can order from any of your favourite book sellers via this link In the UK you can order from any of your favourite book sellers via this link More about Dr.
My guest is Dr. Lori Brotto. She works at the University of British Columbia Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Lori has a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis in psychophysiology. She is a practicing psychologist and also spearheads a lab, which focuses on mindfulness-based approaches for the sexual health of women. And within this episode, she talks specifically about mindfulness and its many powerful applications to sexuality, alleviating sexual dysfunction and performance anxiety, and overall increasing the enjoyability of sex in general. There's so much to say about experiencing each and every moment. Listen along and enjoy! Defining Mindfulness As Dr. Lori states, mindfulness is derived from a larger form of meditation practice called ‘mindfulness meditation'. This discipline has deep cultural and historical roots of about 3,000 years. Mindfulness meditation practices are entrenched in Buddhist worldviews, but in the past four decades or so, mindfulness has undergone a secular shift, which explains its prevalence in the mainstream. In its most simple form, mindfulness means a present, non-judgmental awareness of every moment. Everything is just observed, as Lori states, meaning that any existing anxiety or insertion of judgment is cast aside for the experience of the now. Overlap of Mindfulness and Sex Lori states that something clicked during her work with women who were fundamentally disconnected from their bodies during sex. This means that a lot of women were reporting a lack of physical arousal and being present with physical sensation–which is a pretty common report after all. Lori was wondering if there was a way to apply traditional mindfulness practices with sex, as a way for women to reconnect with their bodies and thus experience sex on a much deeper, physical level. For more on the research, studies, and overall preparation and insight that went into these findings, Lori says more during the episode! The Many Applications of Mindfulness for Men and Women As Lori states, mindfulness is an extremely effective and important intervention because about a third of women are on the lower spectrum for sexual desire and interest; in fact, mindfulness has been shown to increase the levels of desire for most women. In addition, populations of women who experience heightened vaginal pain have benefited, as well as men who have survived prostate cancer. Because the majority of men who undergo prostate cancer treatments are subjected to permanent erectile difficulties, mindfulness can be applied with very beneficial results–not from a physical standpoint, but as a way to shift the understanding of sexual satisfaction and to discover new approaches towards a satisfying sex life. Listen along for more! Recommendations for Practicing Mindful Sex Lori says that she recommends that you first practice mindfulness outside of a sexual context. So, instead of just jumping in and trying mindful sex right away, practicing it at least 15 minutes a day is recommended. This means just being present in whatever moment you are in, being aware, and cultivating the necessary attentional skills. This can involve a ‘body scan', where the participant follows along with an audio guide or through self-guidance. And after about 4 weeks of body scan practices, usually, a visual sensation is added into the practice with a mirror and to various body parts, noting and being aware of the various sensations. The purpose of all this being that the sexual side of the practice is gradually introduced. Listen along to hear more about this! Alternatives to the Body Scan When asked if there were other options beside the body scan, Dr. Lori provided plenty of practices that cultivate mindfulness just as well. You can practice ‘eating meditation' or just mindful eating where participants eat food with a very deliberate awareness. Raisins are often used. And because most of us often pop multiple raisins in our mouth without thought, mindfully eating individual raisins with awareness is a great way of cultivating that ‘in the moment' type of focus that can contribute to profound sexual experiences. Breath meditation is another effective practice for cultivating mindfulness! Dr. Lori shares some more techniques along with the best resources she knows of. You won't want to miss it! Key Links for Dr. Lori: Twitter: https://twitter.com/drloribrotto Her website and research: https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/ Affiliate link for the book: Better Sex Through Mindfulness: https://amzn.to/2UJBPv0 Phone number: Tel 604 875 4111 ext. 68901 More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Web – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ If you're enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/More info and resources: How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: How to make sex easy and fun for both of you: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast
My guest is Dr. Lori Brotto. She works at the University of British Columbia Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Lori has a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis in psychophysiology. She is a practicing psychologist and also spearheads a lab, which focuses on mindfulness-based approaches for the sexual health of women.And within this episode, she talks specifically about mindfulness and its many powerful applications to sexuality, alleviating sexual dysfunction and performance anxiety, and overall increasing the enjoyability of sex in general. There’s so much to say about experiencing each and every moment. Listen along and enjoy!Defining MindfulnessAs Dr. Lori states, mindfulness is derived from a larger form of meditation practice called ‘mindfulness meditation’. This discipline has deep cultural and historical roots of about 3,000 years. Mindfulness meditation practices are entrenched in Buddhist worldviews, but in the past four decades or so, mindfulness has undergone a secular shift, which explains its prevalence in the mainstream.In its most simple form, mindfulness means a present, non-judgmental awareness of every moment. Everything is just observed, as Lori states, meaning that any existing anxiety or insertion of judgment is cast aside for the experience of the now.Overlap of Mindfulness and SexLori states that something clicked during her work with women who were fundamentally disconnected from their bodies during sex. This means that a lot of women were reporting a lack of physical arousal and being present with physical sensation–which is a pretty common report after all. Lori was wondering if there was a way to apply traditional mindfulness practices with sex, as a way for women to reconnect with their bodies and thus experience sex on a much deeper, physical level.For more on the research, studies, and overall preparation and insight that went into these findings, Lori says more during the episode!The Many Applications of Mindfulness for Men and WomenAs Lori states, mindfulness is an extremely effective and important intervention because about a third of women are on the lower spectrum for sexual desire and interest; in fact, mindfulness has been shown to increase the levels of desire for most women. In addition, populations of women who experience heightened vaginal pain have benefited, as well as men who have survived prostate cancer.Because the majority of men who undergo prostate cancer treatments are subjected to permanent erectile difficulties, mindfulness can be applied with very beneficial results–not from a physical standpoint, but as a way to shift the understanding of sexual satisfaction and to discover new approaches towards a satisfying sex life.Listen along for more!Recommendations for Practicing Mindful SexLori says that she recommends that you first practice mindfulness outside of a sexual context. So, instead of just jumping in and trying mindful sex right away, practicing it at least 15 minutes a day is recommended.This means just being present in whatever moment you are in, being aware, and cultivating the necessary attentional skills. This can involve a ‘body scan’, where the participant follows along with an audio guide or through self-guidance.And after about 4 weeks of body scan practices, usually, a visual sensation is added into the practice with a mirror and to various body parts, noting and being aware of the various sensations. The purpose of all this being that the sexual side of the practice is gradually introduced.Listen along to hear more about this!Alternatives to the Body ScanWhen asked if there were other options beside the body scan, Dr. Lori provided plenty of practices that cultivate mindfulness just as well.You can practice ‘eating meditation’ or just mindful eating where participants eat food with a very deliberate awareness. Raisins are often used. And because most of us often pop multiple raisins in our mouth without thought, mindfully eating individual raisins with awareness is a great way of cultivating that ‘in the moment’ type of focus that can contribute to profound sexual experiences.Breath meditation is another effective practice for cultivating mindfulness! Dr. Lori shares some more techniques along with the best resources she knows of. You won’t want to miss it!Key Links for Dr. Lori: Twitter: https://twitter.com/drloribrottoHer website and research: https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/Affiliate link for the book:Better Sex Through Mindfulness: https://amzn.to/2UJBPv0Phone number: Tel 604 875 4111 ext. 68901More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/
My guest is Dr. Lori Brotto. She works at the University of British Columbia Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Lori has a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis in psychophysiology. She is a practicing psychologist and also spearheads a lab, which focuses on mindfulness-based approaches for the sexual health of women.And within this episode, she talks specifically about mindfulness and its many powerful applications to sexuality, alleviating sexual dysfunction and performance anxiety, and overall increasing the enjoyability of sex in general. There’s so much to say about experiencing each and every moment. Listen along and enjoy!Defining MindfulnessAs Dr. Lori states, mindfulness is derived from a larger form of meditation practice called ‘mindfulness meditation’. This discipline has deep cultural and historical roots of about 3,000 years. Mindfulness meditation practices are entrenched in Buddhist worldviews, but in the past four decades or so, mindfulness has undergone a secular shift, which explains its prevalence in the mainstream.In its most simple form, mindfulness means a present, non-judgmental awareness of every moment. Everything is just observed, as Lori states, meaning that any existing anxiety or insertion of judgment is cast aside for the experience of the now.Overlap of Mindfulness and SexLori states that something clicked during her work with women who were fundamentally disconnected from their bodies during sex. This means that a lot of women were reporting a lack of physical arousal and being present with physical sensation–which is a pretty common report after all. Lori was wondering if there was a way to apply traditional mindfulness practices with sex, as a way for women to reconnect with their bodies and thus experience sex on a much deeper, physical level.For more on the research, studies, and overall preparation and insight that went into these findings, Lori says more during the episode!The Many Applications of Mindfulness for Men and WomenAs Lori states, mindfulness is an extremely effective and important intervention because about a third of women are on the lower spectrum for sexual desire and interest; in fact, mindfulness has been shown to increase the levels of desire for most women. In addition, populations of women who experience heightened vaginal pain have benefited, as well as men who have survived prostate cancer.Because the majority of men who undergo prostate cancer treatments are subjected to permanent erectile difficulties, mindfulness can be applied with very beneficial results–not from a physical standpoint, but as a way to shift the understanding of sexual satisfaction and to discover new approaches towards a satisfying sex life.Listen along for more!Recommendations for Practicing Mindful SexLori says that she recommends that you first practice mindfulness outside of a sexual context. So, instead of just jumping in and trying mindful sex right away, practicing it at least 15 minutes a day is recommended.This means just being present in whatever moment you are in, being aware, and cultivating the necessary attentional skills. This can involve a ‘body scan’, where the participant follows along with an audio guide or through self-guidance.And after about 4 weeks of body scan practices, usually, a visual sensation is added into the practice with a mirror and to various body parts, noting and being aware of the various sensations. The purpose of all this being that the sexual side of the practice is gradually introduced.Listen along to hear more about this!Alternatives to the Body ScanWhen asked if there were other options beside the body scan, Dr. Lori provided plenty of practices that cultivate mindfulness just as well.You can practice ‘eating meditation’ or just mindful eating where participants eat food with a very deliberate awareness. Raisins are often used. And because most of us often pop multiple raisins in our mouth without thought, mindfully eating individual raisins with awareness is a great way of cultivating that ‘in the moment’ type of focus that can contribute to profound sexual experiences.Breath meditation is another effective practice for cultivating mindfulness! Dr. Lori shares some more techniques along with the best resources she knows of. You won’t want to miss it!Key Links for Dr. Lori: Twitter: https://twitter.com/drloribrottoHer website and research: https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/Affiliate link for the book:Better Sex Through Mindfulness: https://amzn.to/2UJBPv0Phone number: Tel 604 875 4111 ext. 68901More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/
The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice
On today’s show we welcome Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor in the department for Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of British Columbia and the Canada Research Chair in Women’s Sexual Health. Lori has also the author of the book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire. In this episode we are discussing sexual desire, and how a low desire or lack of interest in sex is by far the most common sexual concern, not only in women but in men as well. Many people struggle for different reasons, both psychologically and socially. Lori helps us today to uncover those struggles and those reasons and step beyond our negative beliefs to reignite our sexual desires through mindfulness. For an incredibly insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode! Key Points From This Episode: Hear more about Lori and how she became a sex researcher and sex therapist. Researcher’s findings on reasons why women experience low sexual desire. Why low sexual desire is often confused. Understanding how mood and depression suppresses desire. How your beliefs can impact your desire. Cognitive behavioral therapy and how it can effectively treat sexual complaints. Physical conditions people can have that may interfere with sexual function. A female Viagra solution to fix female sexual arousal disorder, how terrible can it be? Struggling to reach orgasm during sex: whether you’re lacking desire or full of it. How mindfulness can help women and man be more present and reignite desire. Lori share some stories from her book on how mindfulness can be useful. Adopting a regular mindfulness practice and engaging the muscle of the mind. And so much more! Tweetables: “Low desire or lack of interest in sex is by far the most common sexual concern, not only in women but in men as well.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:04:01] “Negative beliefs in the brain can also stimulate certain brain path ways that interfere with desire and arousal.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:11:21] “Pretty much anything that impacts hormones has the potential to impact sexual response.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:14:35] “If you are going to have sex, you may as well show up for it.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:27:30] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Dr. Lori Brotto — http://www.loribrotto.com/ Dr. Lori on Twitter — https://twitter.com/DrLoriBrotto Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire — https://www.amazon.com/Better-Sex-Through-Mindfulness-Cultivate/dp/1771642351/ University of British Columbia — https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/about/dr-lori-brotto/
Have you been feeling stuck in your relationship, frustrated with your body, or totally disconnected from your pleasure & desire? One-on-one coaching spots are available in my private practice and rates are going up January 1st, 2019, so now is the perfect time to book a discovery call and learn more about how coaching might help you. Check out the clients I work with and my rates today. The power of mindfulness on our pleasure, connection, and desire. In person interviews are some of my favorite, and Dr. Lori Brotto was able to pop over for this in-person conversation all about her 15 years of sex research on the power of mindfulness, which she's turned into a fabulous book called, "Better Sex Through Mindfulness." So, this episode is all about what mindfulness is, how it affects our levels of libido and desire, why mindfulness might be a key to more pleasure, and how to balance mindfulness and fantasy. We also talk about depression, responsive desire, responsibility in relationships, and how we can get started with mindfulness. Plus, Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, this week's bonus is a little mindfulness exercise and some journal prompts around pleasure. Listen and support the show at patreon.com/sgrpodcast Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Dr. Lori Brotto: Dr. Brotto completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of British Columbia (UBC), where her research focused primarily on psychophysiological aspects of sexual arousal in women diagnosed with sexual dysfunctions. Her psychology internship at the University of Washington (UW) specialized in the use of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for mood, anxiety, substance abuse and psychotic disorders. Following her internship, Dr. Brotto’s Fellowship in Reproductive and Sexual Medicine at UW was mentored by Dr. Julia Heiman, director of the Kinsey Institute. As a registered psychologist, Dr. Brotto offers psychological therapy to patients referred from both UBC Departments of Obstetrics & Gynaecology and Psychiatry, as well as the BC Cancer Agency. Dr. Brotto also sees private patients. Her new book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness, published by Greystone Books, is a scientifically-informed translation of her research on mindfulness to improve women’s sexuality. It can be ordered here or here or on Amazon via my affiliate link. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)
There are many shows and books and articles aimed at helping you achieve better sex. Sexy Marriage Radio exists to try and help as well. And throughout the 6 1/2 years worth of shows we've yet to discuss our topic for today. Mindfulness is a better way to experience more in life, and sex. Dr. […] The post Better Sex Through Mindfulness With Lori Brotto #369 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.
There are many shows and books and articles aimed at helping you achieve better sex. Sexy Marriage Radio exists to try and help as well. And throughout the 6 1/2 years worth of shows we've yet to discuss our topic for today. Mindfulness is a better way to experience more in life, and sex. Dr. […]
There are many shows and books and articles aimed at helping you achieve better sex. Sexy Marriage Radio exists to try and help as well. And throughout the 6 1/2 years worth of shows we’ve yet to discuss our topic for today. Mindfulness is a better way to experience more in life, and sex. Dr. […] The post Better Sex Through Mindfulness With Lori Brotto #369 appeared first on Sexy Marriage Radio.
Twenty years after Viagra was approved to treat erectile issues in men, we still don’t have any quick fixes for the primary sexual struggle of women: low sexual desire. In this podcast interview, Dr. Lori Brotto shares what has been the most promising treatment for women who struggle with sexual desire – mindfulness. Mindfulness […] The post Better Sex Through Mindfulness with Lori Brotto appeared first on Pleasure Mechanics.
Blinkist Podcast - Interviews | Personal Development | Productivity | Business | Psychology
In this episode of Simplify, Caitlin talks to women’s sexual health expert, Dr. Lori Brotto, about how to elicit sexual desire and use your mind for better sex. While mindfulness can feel like a relatively new phenomenon in western societies — Jon Kabat-Zinn popularized it in the US in the 1970s — it has, in fact, been helping people feel connected to their lives for centuries. Dr. Lori Brotto experimented with the practice as treatment for women with sexual concerns and found that mindfulness can have positive effects on desire, response and connection — and the effects seem to be lasting. A lot of what we ‘know’ about sex as a society is based on outdated research and cultural assumptions. Listen to Dr. Lori Brotto talk about her new book, *Better Sex Through Mindfulness* and explain some of our many misconceptions about sex, and introduce ways we can use mindfulness practices to feel more connected to ourselves — and to our partners — during sexual encounters. By the end of this episode, you’ll learn concrete practices you can use to really tune into sex and make it better – regardless of your age or gender – and discover that pleasure is always there for you, if you can be there for it. Stick around after the interview for when Ben Schuman-Stoler joins Caitlin Schiller to talk about the main takeaways from the conversation with Dr. Lori Brotto and to compose a sexy book list on mindfulness, positive psychology, improving sex life and relationships. For more info, including links to everything we discussed in the episode and a voucher to use Blinkist for free, go to https://www.blinkist.com/magazine/posts/simplify-desire-lori-brotto-make-love-mindfully Let us know what you thought of the episode, or just give us some book recommendations on Twitter—we’d love to hear from you! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller and Ben at @bsto. That excellent music you heard is by Nico Guiang. You can find more of it on Soundcloud (https://soundcloud.com/niceaux) and Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/niceaux).
While mindfulness can feel like a relatively new phenomenon in western societies — Jon Kabat-Zinn popularized it in the US in the 1970s — it has, in fact, been helping people feel connected to their lives for centuries. Dr. Lori Brotto experimented with the practice as treatment for women with sexual concerns and found that mindfulness can have positive effects on desire, response and connection — and the effects seem to be lasting. A lot of what we ‘know’ about sex as a society is based on outdated research and cultural assumptions. Listen to Dr. Lori Brotto talk about her new book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness and explain some of our many misconceptions about sex, and introduce ways we can use mindfulness practices to feel more connected to ourselves — and to our partners — during sexual encounters. By the end of this episode, you’ll learn concrete practices you can use to really tune into sex and make it better – regardless of your age or gender – and discover that pleasure is always there for you, if you can be there for it. Stick around after the interview for when Ben Schuman-Stoler joins Caitlin Schiller to talk about the main takeaways from the conversation with Dr. Lori Brotto and to compose a sexy book list on mindfulness, positive psychology, improving sex life and relationships. For more info, including links to everything we discussed in the episode and a voucher to use Blinkist for free, go to https://www.blinkist.com/magazine/posts/simplify-desire-lori-brotto-make-love-mindfully Let us know what you thought of the episode, or just give us some book recommendations on Twitter—we’d love to hear from you! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller and Ben at @bsto. That excellent music you heard is by Nico Guiang. You can find more of it on Soundcloud (https://soundcloud.com/niceaux) and Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/niceaux).
In this show Dr. Lori Brotto, Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of British Columbia and the University of British Columbia's Sexual Health Laboratory discusses the problems of sexual arousal and sexual desire reported by 10 to 40% of women. She clarifies the misconceptions and confusion about female sexual desire, the differences between men and women and why the “Female Viagra Drug” fizzled. She draws upon the psychological interventions she has research for the management of sexual arousal, desire and genital pain and makes it clear that for women the sexual response involves the mind being in sync with the body. She draws upon the strategies in her upcoming self-help book “ Better Sex Through Mindfulness” to discuss the powerful results found when women are guided to use mindfulness to attend to and identify triggers, context and the kind of stimuli that elicits sexual desire and arousal for them.
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